# "I WISH they wouldn't do that..."



## shaneygirls (Jan 20, 2011)

Not too sure how to word what I want to ask but as the discussion progresses (hopefully) maybe it can be drawn outta me.... Here goes...

This is directed at the FA's and FFA's... 

When you see a BBW, BHM, SSBBW, etc... what, if anything, makes you say, ..."I wish he/she wouldn't wear that..." or "WHY do they DO that?" 

I had a discussion with a friend recently regarding the clothing choice of some SSBBW's... He said he HATED when we wear knit pants with socks...

So, when a SSBBW or BHM catches your eye... as you gaze a bit more, what do you notice about them that bothers you?

Side Note: I DO NOT wear knit pants and socks...


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## The Orange Mage (Jan 20, 2011)

The only things I can come up with are "Let your upper arms be free!" (Which I then quickly realize is totally a personal decision that ISN'T necessarily about insecurity) and "Why the hell are you wearing socks in bed?" which totally isn't BBW/SSBBW specific.

So in essence, I got nothin'.


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## shaneygirls (Jan 20, 2011)

Well, thanks for the effort... and by the way... I HATE it when they wear socks to bed!!!


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## AmazingAmy (Jan 20, 2011)

shaneygirls said:


> I HATE it when they wear socks to bed!!



:blush: But it's so toasty...

Keeping my eye on this thread, it looks promising.


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## shaneygirls (Jan 20, 2011)

Socks under the sheets is way too restricting to me... so are pants... I hate wearing pants under the sheets... 

Anyway...


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## CastingPearls (Jan 20, 2011)

<subscribes>


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## Christov (Jan 20, 2011)

Socks in bed homeboy representin'. 

But seriously. Horrible tentish clothing. I know a lot of big ladies don't subscribe to the 'if you've got it, flaunt it' mentality because of general size oppression, but those sorts of clothes are terribly designed and not very nice indeed. It isn't like there aren't any nice clothes for BBWs in mainstream shops now (Evans, etc.), so why just be consigned to the oversize flowery blouses of yesteryear? 

Also, on a similar topic; girls who barely eat anything when I take them out, especially if I'm paying fully. My heart aches for people who don't make the most of a free meal, even more so than my wallet does when I'm out with a heavy eater.


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## shaneygirls (Jan 20, 2011)

Christov said:


> Socks in bed homeboy representin'.
> 
> But seriously. Horrible tentish clothing. I know a lot of big ladies don't subscribe to the 'if you've got it, flaunt it' mentality because of general size oppression, but those sorts of clothes are terribly designed and not very nice indeed. It isn't like there aren't any nice clothes for BBWs in mainstream shops now (Evans, etc.), so why just be consigned to the oversize flowery blouses of yesteryear?
> 
> Also, on a similar topic; girls who barely eat anything when I take them out, especially if I'm paying fully. My heart aches for people who don't make the most of a free meal, even more so than my wallet does when I'm out with a heavy eater.






I know the clothing you are speaking of, Christov... The baggy, shapeless items manufacturers make for BBW's. It isn't fair. I'll tell ya what else isn't fair... having to pay 3-5 times more for a cute figure flattering top than that of a smaller size. I understand the extra material involved but COME ON!!!


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## Carrie (Jan 20, 2011)

shaneygirls said:


> I had a discussion with a friend recently regarding the clothing choice of some SSBBW's... He said he HATED when we wear knit pants with socks...


I have to ask: did your friend happen to say why this bothers him so? It's so... oddly _specific_.


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## shaneygirls (Jan 20, 2011)

Carrie said:


> I have to ask: did your friend happen to say why this bothers him so? It's so... oddly _specific_.



LOL... he was't too specific... except that the cotton socks stick to the knit like glue... and as they walk, it makes them look sloppy...?!! He's an odd ball anyway...:happy:


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## Carrie (Jan 20, 2011)

shaneygirls said:


> LOL... he was't too specific... except that the cotton socks stick to the knit like glue... and as they walk, it makes them look sloppy...?!! He's an odd ball anyway...:happy:


Ahhh, okay. I actually see the logic in that, heh.


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## CastingPearls (Jan 20, 2011)

People have the most interesting preferences and revulsions.


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## shaneygirls (Jan 20, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> People have the most interesting preferences and revulsions.




"interesting..." yes they do!


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## ThatFatGirl (Jan 21, 2011)

shaneygirls said:


> Not too sure how to word what I want to ask but as the discussion progresses (hopefully) maybe it can be drawn outta me.... Here goes...
> 
> This is directed at the FA's and FFA's...
> 
> ...




I wear cotton yoga pants with cotton socks and nothing sticks. An all caps kind of hate for ssbbw clothing choices? Tell your friend to stick it (and lets see some photos of his amazing style).


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## CastingPearls (Jan 21, 2011)

shaneygirls said:


> Not too sure how to word what I want to ask but as the discussion progresses (hopefully) maybe it can be drawn outta me.... Here goes...
> 
> This is directed at the FA's and FFA's...
> 
> ...


Is this friend of yours an FA? a BHM?

Do you regard yourself as a BBW or as a SSBBW?


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## JonesT (Jan 21, 2011)

shaneygirls said:


> Socks under the sheets is way too restricting to me... so are pants... I hate wearing pants under the sheets...
> 
> Anyway...



Same here. It just feels...weird


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## LordQuas (Jan 21, 2011)

When a woman doesnt dress to her strengths i.e. a woman with a big chest wearing excessively tight jeans because she thinks they make her butt look good


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## LovelyLiz (Jan 21, 2011)

LordQuas said:


> When a woman doesnt dress to her strengths i.e. a woman with a big chest wearing excessively tight jeans because she thinks they make her butt look good



They DO make my butt look good.


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## Emma (Jan 21, 2011)

I really dislike thongs on a ss/bbw.


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## Famouslastwords (Jan 21, 2011)

Oh great, just what we need, a thread to tear down fat people based upon what we choose to wear. Don't we get enough of the judgmental bull crap outside of dimensions, we don't really need it from our fellow fat people, fas, ffas, and bhms too.


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## cinnamitch (Jan 21, 2011)

Famouslastwords said:


> Oh great, just what we need, a thread to tear down fat people based upon what we choose to wear. Don't we get enough of the judgmental bull crap outside of dimensions, we don't really need it from our fellow fat people, fas, ffas, and bhms too.



Well hell I just went and put on a pair of white socks, black knit pants ( im wearing a green thong underneath and a big ol tent size tshirt and if it keeps up I'm going to take my bra off an let my tig ol bitties hang to the floor and just poo poo the whole notion that I give a rats behind about someones opinion on what I should wear.


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## cinnamitch (Jan 21, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> They DO make my butt look good.



why yes, yes it does


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## cinnamitch (Jan 21, 2011)

ThatFatGirl said:


> I wear cotton yoga pants with cotton socks and nothing sticks. An all caps kind of hate for ssbbw clothing choices? Tell your friend to stick it (and lets see some photos of his amazing style).



He probably wears short pants, black socks and white sneakers.


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## cinnamitch (Jan 21, 2011)

Christov said:


> Socks in bed homeboy representin'.
> 
> But seriously. Horrible tentish clothing. I know a lot of big ladies don't subscribe to the 'if you've got it, flaunt it' mentality because of general size oppression, but those sorts of clothes are terribly designed and not very nice indeed. It isn't like there aren't any nice clothes for BBWs in mainstream shops now (Evans, etc.), so why just be consigned to the oversize flowery blouses of yesteryear?
> 
> Also, on a similar topic; girls who barely eat anything when I take them out, especially if I'm paying fully. My heart aches for people who don't make the most of a free meal, even more so than my wallet does when I'm out with a heavy eater.



Well really when you start getting into 5 to 6x your clothing choices can be quite limited especially if you are limited in money. Not everyone can do Lane Bryant or Evans and have to settle for the somewhat tentlike clothing that the lower priced sellers offer .Now others like myself wear what makes ME comfotable. I like loose clothing . It's not to do with shame or anything like that it just makes me comfortable. But i do see your point, some of it is not really attractive but one has to do the best they can with what they have.


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## mossystate (Jan 21, 2011)

Famouslastwords said:


> Oh great, just what we need, a thread to tear down fat people based upon what we choose to wear. Don't we get enough of the judgmental bull crap outside of dimensions, we don't really need it from our fellow fat people, fas, ffas, and bhms too.



Shhhhhhhh. This is supposed to HELP us. 

OP, people can and do have personal preferences, but when the conversation turns to the specifics of what _certain _people shouldn't wear/do , then it becomes just another nails down the chalkboard exercise in judgement. It gets very old.


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## CastingPearls (Jan 21, 2011)

So let me get this straight...pardon my meandering at such a late hour....

We (general we) wear clothes that are too loose/big for you (general you). 

and

We (general we) wear clothes that are too tight/small for you (general you).


Does that about sum it up at this point?


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## mossystate (Jan 21, 2011)

cinnamitch said:


> Well really when you start getting into 5 to 6x your clothing choices can be quite limited especially if you are limited in money. Not everyone can do Lane Bryant or Evans and have to settle for the somewhat tentlike clothing that the lower priced sellers offer .Now others like myself wear what makes ME comfotable. I like loose clothing . It's not to do with shame or anything like that it just makes me comfortable.



Yeah. I just hate that there is such a knowing what the fat woman is saying with what she is wearing. A woman might be " flaunting it " in the eyes of some, and the woman herself really isn't feeling that. Same with the fat woman who is wearing the oppressive clothing sewn by a fat hating society ( mucho sarcasm ). 

It's the mantra of it all that needs to flippin' STOP.


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## Carrie (Jan 21, 2011)

Oh, no, I can _feel_ it. The great stretch pants debate, round 700 billion, is coming down the pike. Gird your legging-clad loins, fatties!


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## KittyKitten (Jan 21, 2011)

Damn, I hate it when big women wear huge, sloppy clothing. Hold your head up, wear sexy and form fitting clothing!


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## cinnamitch (Jan 21, 2011)

Carrie said:


> Oh, no, I can _feel_ it. The great stretch pants debate, round 700 billion, is coming down the pike. Gird your legging-clad loins, fatties!



But what about the socks? Who is going to protect them?


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## Christov (Jan 21, 2011)

cinnamitch said:


> Well really when you start getting into 5 to 6x your clothing choices can be quite limited especially if you are limited in money. Not everyone can do Lane Bryant or Evans and have to settle for the somewhat tentlike clothing that the lower priced sellers offer .Now others like myself wear what makes ME comfotable. I like loose clothing . It's not to do with shame or anything like that it just makes me comfortable. But i do see your point, some of it is not really attractive but one has to do the best they can with what they have.


Can't really say anything to this, but I do understand that some do prefer a looser fit for reasons other than insecurity. It does pull at my heartstrings when I see someone who isn't really that big but thinks she needs to dress like that to be socially acceptable. 

I think my problem is with society more than the actual clothing or the mentality behind it.


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## cinnamitch (Jan 21, 2011)

happyface83 said:


> Damn, I hate it when big women wear huge, sloppy clothing. Hold your head up, wear sexy and form fitting clothing!



Toots I dont live my life to be sexaay. I live it to be comfortable for ME. If i decide to dress sexaay, then it is because I had a desire to do it, not based on some opinions on how I should dress. I personally hate seeing women put their tig ol bitties out for the world to admire, but you know what? It ain't none of my bizness. OH and i can wear my baggy old clothes and hold my head up quite well tyvm.


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## KittyKitten (Jan 21, 2011)

cinnamitch said:


> Toots I dont live my life to be sexaay. I live it to be comfortable for ME. If i decide to dress sexaay, then it is because I had a desire to do it, not based on some opinions on how I should dress. I personally hate seeing women put their tig ol bitties out for the world to admire, but you know what? It ain't none of my bizness. OH and i can wear my baggy old clothes and hold my head up quite well tyvm.



That was only to the women who feel ashamed of their body and cover it up in huge amounts of clothing. And you are right, you can feel sexy in any type of clothes, but my response wasn't about that. Like another poster said, it is about intent which I should have made clear.


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## Shosh (Jan 21, 2011)

I like seeing BBW's and SSBBW's wearing cute, fitted clothing. There is so much flattering plus size clothing these days, that there is no reason to have to look frumpy.

Others already have a perception of fat women as not caring about fashion or their appearance, that we do not want to further that incorrect stereotype.


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## Shosh (Jan 21, 2011)

happyface83 said:


> Damn, I hate it when big women wear huge, sloppy clothing. Hold your head up, wear sexy and form fitting clothing!



Yes x 1000


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## cinnamitch (Jan 21, 2011)

Shosh said:


> I like seeing BBW's and SSBBW's wearing cute, fitted clothing. There is so much flattering plus size clothing these days, that there is no reason to have to look frumpy.
> 
> Others already have a perception of fat women as not caring about fashion or their appearance, that we do not want to further that incorrect stereotype.



What you may see as frumpy, the one wearing it might see it as comfortable and making them feel good. Isn't that what it should be about? Feeling comfortable in what you wear? Why must we be considered frumpy if we do not want to wear cute fitted clothing. Also, what you might consider cute, someone else might consider butt-ugly


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## CastingPearls (Jan 21, 2011)

Substitute makeup for clothes and this is the same exact thread.


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## Famouslastwords (Jan 21, 2011)

This thread is really just about tearing fat women down for chosing to wear certain types of clothing and to me that's nasty especially from our peers.


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## cinnamitch (Jan 21, 2011)

Famouslastwords said:


> This thread is really just about tearing fat women down for chosing to wear certain types of clothing and to me that's nasty especially from our peers.



Eh I guess we expected too much. Even here we aren't good enough. 

Carry on ladies and gents, you got to make the fat lady sad. Well done, well done. 

"unsubscribes"


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## penguin (Jan 21, 2011)

Man, I'd go naked the whole time if I wasn't worried about spontaneously combusting the minute I stepped outside. Being a soulless ginger in the harsh Australian climate is dangerous!


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## Tracyarts (Jan 21, 2011)

" That was only to the women who feel ashamed of their body and cover it up in huge amounts of clothing. "

But unless you know the woman in question on a really personal level, you can't make a value judgement as to why she chooses to dress the way she does. 

*Flaunting your body is no more a sign of pride, than covering it up is a sign of shame.* 

People dress to reveal or conceal for many different reasons. Not all are positive, not all are negative. One woman may dress to display her body because she is bursting with pride and self-love. Another woman may dress that way because she is desperately needy for attention and validation and knows no other way to get it. One woman may dress to conceal her body because she is consumed by shame and self-loathing. Another woman may dress that way because she embraces modesty as one of her core personal values. Or..she may be making a fashion statement of some sort. Or she might just not give a rat's ass because she dresses to feel comfortable, not to be anybody's eye candy. 

It's not about what you like looking at, it's about what the person feels comfortable wearing. 

Tracy


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## Shosh (Jan 21, 2011)

penguin said:


> Man, I'd go naked the whole time if I wasn't worried about spontaneously combusting the minute I stepped outside. Being a soulless ginger in the harsh Australian climate is dangerous!



Lol.

You are gorgeous. I saw your nekkid pic.


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## Shosh (Jan 21, 2011)

cinnamitch said:


> What you may see as frumpy, the one wearing it might see it as comfortable and making them feel good. Isn't that what it should be about? Feeling comfortable in what you wear? Why must we be considered frumpy if we do not want to wear cute fitted clothing. Also, what you might consider cute, someone else might consider butt-ugly



I don't know. I just will not give skinny chicks any opportunity to rag on what I am wearing.
We are just as put together and fashionable as they are.


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## Tracyarts (Jan 21, 2011)

" I don't know. I just will not give skinny chicks any opportunity to rag on what I am wearing. "

But you don't mind taking the opportunity to rag on other fat chicks about what they are wearing. Can you truly not step outside of your little ego-box and see what a hypocrite you're being here?

I mean, seriously... WTF?

Tracy


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## Shosh (Jan 21, 2011)

Tracyarts said:


> " I don't know. I just will not give skinny chicks any opportunity to rag on what I am wearing. "
> 
> But you don't mind taking the opportunity to rag on other fat chicks about what they are wearing. Can you truly not step outside of your little ego-box and see what a hypocrite you're being here?
> 
> ...



Who wants to look sloppy, when they can make an effort to put themselves together?

That is not being egotistical, that is putting your best foot forward.

A hypocrite? Um No.

You act like all fat women love and support each other here and in the wider world. Lol, I don't think so. 

I have been hated on by many women here, just because I dare to post my pics and be confident. I have been called an attention whore by women here.

They are raggin on me, so let me return the favor.


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## penguin (Jan 21, 2011)

Shosh said:


> Lol.
> 
> You are gorgeous. I saw your nekkid pic.



Aww thanks  I've joked that if we were out lost in the woods at night, people would just need to strip me naked and shine a torch on me, because my skin is so white it just about glows, and I'd light the way easily.


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## Christov (Jan 21, 2011)

i think shosh's ego is taking all the oxygen in the thread

i pray i suffocate before another 'they're jealous' speech begins


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## Shosh (Jan 21, 2011)

Christov said:


> i think shosh's ego is taking all the oxygen in the thread
> 
> i pray i suffocate before another 'they're jealous' speech begins




Let's get this thread back on track, and return to what the OP wanted to discuss.

Thank you.


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## Mishty (Jan 21, 2011)

I know some of the most confident and proud women I've been blessed to meet don't wear tight clothes at all, most of my mentors are hippies and they appear to be sexy and lovely in big tents(shirts) and long skirts....

It's all a frame of mind, just cause a fat chick shows off her tits or her rolls in a skimpy top does not make her confident or sexy, trust me. Fat women can look just as bad in clothing as skinny women, sometimes some people shouldn't wear some shit.


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## bigjayne66 (Jan 21, 2011)

happyface83 said:


> Damn, I hate it when big women wear huge, sloppy clothing. Hold your head up, wear sexy and form fitting clothing!



I tried that,and my leggings exploded ...


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## shaneygirls (Jan 21, 2011)

Oh. My. God...

Why did this have to turn ugly? I simply asked what the FA hated to see a BBW wear and/or DO!! I'm curious... I thought this was a forum to ask those kind of questions... I am not bashing my fellow BBW's/SSBBW's AT ALL! Some of you make it difficult to be a part of this community. 
:doh:


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## WVMountainrear (Jan 21, 2011)

penguin said:


> Man, I'd go naked the whole time if I wasn't worried about spontaneously combusting the minute I stepped outside. Being a soulless ginger in the harsh Australian climate is dangerous!



I have similar issues...although I'm not a ginger, I'm blonde and ghastly pale. I couldn't tan even if I wanted to! I'm only ever able to get a lovely shade of pink in the summertime. And God forbid I have a strong instant emotion of any sort- my chest blotches up like a human Rorschacah test.


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## ThatFatGirl (Jan 21, 2011)

shaneygirls said:


> Oh. My. God...
> 
> Why did this have to turn ugly? I simply asked what the FA hated to see a BBW wear and/or DO!! I'm curious... I thought this was a forum to ask those kind of questions... I am not bashing my fellow BBW's/SSBBW's AT ALL! Some of you make it difficult to be a part of this community.
> :doh:



The problem is we're constantly told outside of this forum that what we wear and do and simply ARE is wrong we don't need to be reminded here. Most of us are doing the best we can with what we have to work with.


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## spiritangel (Jan 21, 2011)

my ex hated that I wore leggings all the time to the point he joined a facebook group called leggings are not pants

I pointed out that it would cost me around $80 for a decent pair of pants to fit me and that if he was that stressed about it he could buy me some funny still got the odd comment after that but he never offered to pay for a pair of pants for me.

I think clothes should be about you feeling your best, I would love to wear more prints but the prints they often do stuff in for ssbbw's makes my head explode but I do see some women wearing them and looking amazing.


Its funny because I had a conversation with someone recently saying I have been oppressed by fashion and my conditioning by my mother and society long enough

I want to wear colours not just black burgendys and purples but pinks, and yellows and all over the colour spectrum. 

He loves autumn colours and I said to him that putting an ssbbw in those colours is very much what society expects us to be muted and trying to hide ourselves.

Some people just genuinely love that colour pallatte for me I would love to see sexier clothes in my size I miss my favourite ebay seller. I dress soo ecclecticly and I love that I often dont have stuff on that everyone else is wearing.

I stopped buying clothes a few years ago in the realms of tents and stuff or just because it would fit me because I want to dress how I want to and not how others think I should. I think it is interesting to see what turns others on and off re fashion

for me I dont show a lot of bare skin, would never go out showing off a muffin top or some such as it just doesnt feel right for those who are happy letting it all hang out good on them. They are entitled.

Life is to short for petty bickering over fashion and trends and such as we are all different and dress to our differeing views.

I was really curious to see what the fa's had to say about it all myself.

and somewhat dissappointed in the whole its only about bashing each other mentality as it is a genuinely interesting topic

would it change my views on myself or how I dress probably not I am nnot that easily influenced and am strong in my sennse of self worth shrugs 

just my $1 worth


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## AmazingAmy (Jan 21, 2011)

I was curious about FA responses to this thread too. I hear all the time about what non-FAs wish fat people wouldn't do (answers mainly consisting of 'not leave the house' or 'be a burden on the NHS'), but I imagined there would be some more serious responses here. It'll have indeed been the same stuff as aways - don't wear baggy clothes, don't get defensive if someone shows interest, etc - and stinks of the 'come assess us' attitude of the make-up thread, which I should dislike this thread for because it's on the same note, but this one wasn't specifically about how we look. I guess it's because I'm still new to FAism that I'm willing to hear it, so forgive the hypocracy.

If any FAs have a non-typical answer, still want to share it?

BTW, what the hell are knit pants? I keep wanting to think they're leggings, but then everyone would have just called them leggings... Google is providing amusing but probably inaccurate answers.


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## CastingPearls (Jan 21, 2011)

I think the problem is that Dimensions is 'supposed to be' a place where fat people can be safe from criticism relating to our size and threads like these while possibly starting out with good intent devolve very quickly when people feel like they're being judged and the truth is, they ARE.

When you specify certain styles or looks, they more than likely belong to a few of the people here so whether it's deliberate or inadvertent, they feel less welcome. 

Let's be honest here...let's say FAs and FFAs come clean and tell us what they really don't like. What purpose does it serve? To shame fatties into wearing something more attractive for the viewer? To give fatties pointers on what not to do so they can attract more FAs? 

Why don't you be honest and open a thread including full length pics of how you usually dress and say HAI GUYS!!! WHAT AM I DOING WRONG? This way, it will directly answer your questions and you don't have to be so fucking coy about what the opposite sex wants. They do it on the BHM boards all the time and we tell them the truth.

I dress to please myself. If you like it, good for you. Consider it a gift. If you don't, pound sand because I don't care and I don't owe you a thing, least of all a duty to be a bright shining light of and to all things fat.


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## The Orange Mage (Jan 21, 2011)

All this shit is so subjective anyways. It's not a collective voice saying what to do and not to do, it's a group of individuals stating their own odd collection of tastes and quirks and the like. It can easily be meaningless to the passerby.


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## WVMountainrear (Jan 21, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> I think the problem is that Dimensions is 'supposed to be' a place where fat people can be safe from criticism relating to our size and threads like these while possibly starting out with good intent devolve very quickly when people feel like they're being judged and the truth is, they ARE.
> 
> When you specify certain styles or looks, they more than likely belong to a few of the people here so whether it's deliberate or inadvertent, they feel less welcome.
> 
> ...



I'm fresh out of rep, but you deserve it. :bow:


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## penguin (Jan 21, 2011)

lovelylady78 said:


> I have similar issues...although I'm not a ginger, I'm blonde and ghastly pale. I couldn't tan even if I wanted to! I'm only ever able to get a lovely shade of pink in the summertime. And God forbid I have a strong instant emotion of any sort- my chest blotches up like a human Rorschacah test.



I've only tanned twice, and they were both after very bad sunburns. I have no interest in trying to get any colour onto my skin! I'm happy being pale. And freckly


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## ThatFatGirl (Jan 21, 2011)

lovelylady78 said:


> I'm fresh out of rep, but you deserve it. :bow:



Agreed. I got her. 

Shaneygirls, are you new to the FA/BBW scene? I saw in some of your previous posts you stated you're single and looking. Have you been to any of the BBW parties in Chicago? Linda's Big Connections has fairly frequent parties. If you've never been, you should definitely check one out some time. It's a whole new world (unless it's not, of course).


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## Lovelyone (Jan 21, 2011)

cinnamitch said:


> He probably wears short pants, black socks and white sneakers.



Or even worse..short pants, black socks and man sandals.


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## shaneygirls (Jan 21, 2011)

ThatFatGirl said:


> Agreed. I got her.
> 
> Shaneygirls, are you new to the FA/BBW scene? I saw in some of your previous posts you stated you're single and looking. Have you been to any of the BBW parties in Chicago? Linda's Big Connections has fairly frequent parties. If you've never been, you should definitely check one out some time. It's a whole new world (unless it's not, of course).



I'm almost afraid to answer... might get the other half of my ass chewed off... (ha ha ha)

I am new to the scene and I've looked into lindasbigconnections.com... not sure if I am ready to step into that just yet. Hopefully I will muster up enough guts to do so very soon...

Thank you for being kind to the newbie!:blush:


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## Aust99 (Jan 22, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> I think the problem is that Dimensions is 'supposed to be' a place where fat people can be safe from criticism relating to our size and threads like these while possibly starting out with good intent devolve very quickly when people feel like they're being judged and the truth is, they ARE.
> 
> When you specify certain styles or looks, they more than likely belong to a few of the people here so whether it's deliberate or inadvertent, they feel less welcome.
> 
> ...


This!


No matter how you word things Shaneygirls... this thread can do nothing but make some people feel bad about how they look.... or what they choose to wear.... or even what clothes are available to them, size wise. Which is not really in the spirit of Dims, is it?


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## fatgirlflyin (Jan 22, 2011)

cinnamitch said:


> But what about the socks? Who is going to protect them?



If you're gonna wear socks don't forget the Birkenstocks!


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## NancyGirl74 (Jan 22, 2011)

I live in baggy clothes. Why? A few reasons: One, because they are comfy. Two, I work with little kids every day and getting up and down off the floor in form fitting clothes leads to many wedgies, things tucked into crevasses that shouldn't have things tucked into them, and constant tugging of fitted item into place. I'd rather not deal, thank you very much. Three, I could give two figs these days about what other people think of my fashion style. I'll very likely end up on "People of Walmart" or in some magazine with a black bar over my eyes and the caption WHAT NOT TO WEAR over my head because I'm sporting my Hogwarts long-sleeved tee, baggy cotton pants with frayed hems, and a messy bun. It's not pretty but I rock that look! It might not get me the cover of Vogue or some random FA's approval but it's comfortable and it's me. So, people wear your skinny jeans and your leggings and your socks to bed. If it makes you happy then it's beautiful! :happy:


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## joswitch (Jan 22, 2011)

shaneygirls said:


> Not too sure how to word what I want to ask but as the discussion progresses (hopefully) maybe it can be drawn outta me.... Here goes...
> 
> This is directed at the FA's and FFA's...
> 
> ...



Nope. Nothing in particular. Certainly not specific to big folk's clothing.


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## bigmac (Jan 22, 2011)

Over the years I noticed in many plus size stores the cute clothes are available only up to size 24/26 (3X). Many a super-size lady has bought a flora pattern polyester big shirt not because she wanted to but because it was the only thing offered in larger sizes.

Online shopping has improved things a lot but it still seem that cute super-size cloths are in short supply (and the ones out there are very expensive).


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## olwen (Jan 22, 2011)

Christov said:


> Socks in bed homeboy representin'.
> 
> But seriously. Horrible tentish clothing. I know a lot of big ladies don't subscribe to the 'if you've got it, flaunt it' mentality because of general size oppression, but those sorts of clothes are terribly designed and not very nice indeed. It isn't like there aren't any nice clothes for BBWs in mainstream shops now (Evans, etc.), so why just be consigned to the oversize flowery blouses of yesteryear?
> 
> Also, on a similar topic; girls who barely eat anything when I take them out, especially if I'm paying fully. My heart aches for people who don't make the most of a free meal, even more so than my wallet does when I'm out with a heavy eater.



I don't know about other girls, but I'm ususally too nervous to eat or drink anything on the first few dates.


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## Dromond (Jan 22, 2011)

I've got my "I wish they wouldn't do that" opinions, but what would be the value of sharing them? I'd probably insult someone unintentionally, and that's not what I'm about.

I only insult people who deserve it.


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## Blackjack (Jan 22, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> I think the problem is that Dimensions is 'supposed to be' a place where fat people can be safe from criticism relating to our size and threads like these while possibly starting out with good intent devolve very quickly when people feel like they're being judged and the truth is, they ARE.
> 
> When you specify certain styles or looks, they more than likely belong to a few of the people here so whether it's deliberate or inadvertent, they feel less welcome.
> 
> ...



Absolutely this.

ETA: Was gonna go for a joke here, but it just felt like it'd fall flat.


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## CarlaSixx (Jan 22, 2011)

I wanna throw my few cents in.

I don't wear skin tight clothing. I wear relaxed fit clothes. Nothing baggy, but nothing form fitting, either. My clothes skim over the parts that I want hidden, and lay nicely over the parts I'm cool with accentuating. I NEVER show skin. I HATE baring cleavage. And yet, I love what I wear. It's fresh, casual, classy, and I don't look like I gave up trying. It's neat and pretty much unable to offend anyone. In fact, I have NEVER gotten flack about how I dressed, unless a dude wanted me to look like a slut. I get more comments saying I know how to put myself together well than anything else. 

I never do this for anyone else. If I did, I probably wouldn't have any tattoos, especially not as visible as mine are, I wouldn't have boy-short hair, I wouldn't wear oddball colours in my hair, and I would probably hole myself up like a "good fatty is supposed to do." But guess what? I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. I do things for me.

That's how it should always be. 

Oh, and as for the eating on a first date, I always get something, even if it's small, but I try not to get anything stinky, and I demand ONE alcoholic drink. That is all


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## ashmamma84 (Jan 22, 2011)

Fat people clothing isn't more expensive than thin peoples. It really isn't. Maybe it's thought that because some fat folks have never bought thin clothing so they could be going off hearsay. I'd say they are pretty much on par with each other actually. From high end to low end.

I'm a well kept woman - to me, that means taking pride in my appearance. I work in a field wear first impressions are everything and being put together is apart of it. That said, style and fashion don't necessarily mean the same thing. I like to think have more style than just being a victim of fashion.  Most importantly though, you're never well dressed until you don a great smile.


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## EvilPrincess (Jan 22, 2011)

This may be true up to the point you reach the supersizes. I don't mean just to a 5X I mean beyond that. When you are forced into a few online retailers then you are dealing in a totally different ballpark. If I want a well made stylish garment I don't have as many options, and at that end of the spectrum it is expensive. I will agree there are no designer supersized t-shirts with famous labels for 100s of dollars, I would argue that supersized clothing does not have as wide a price range of those in standard sizes. 

The second issue is availability. There is a scarcity in supersized clothing that frightens me at time. In the supersizes there is a lack of* quality moderately priced options*. There is a price point and that is it, rarely are the bigger sizes left during a sale. 

When you couple the issue of underemployment and pay disparity in the fat population, add in the fact that we are talking about women who are still getting paid 80% on the dollar, and then top that off with the newer concern that women are being rehired at a lower rate then men after the latest economic downturn, fashion and what is available to the supersized woman is political in my opinion. 

On a lighter note it also depends a lot on personal taste. My mother can shop for clothes anywhere, but she is most comfortable in a pair of gauchos, a cotton blouse and a nifty vest. She also tends to wear bright lipstick and wild earings. 





ashmamma84 said:


> Fat people clothing isn't more expensive than thin peoples. It really isn't. Maybe it's thought that because some fat folks have never bought thin clothing so they could be going off hearsay. I'd say they are pretty much on par with each other actually. From high end to low end.
> 
> I'm a well kept woman - to me, that means taking pride in my appearance. I work in a field wear first impressions are everything and being put together is apart of it. That said, style and fashion don't necessarily mean the same thing. I like to think have more style than just being a victim of fashion.  Most importantly though, you're never well dressed until you don a great smile.


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## The Orange Mage (Jan 22, 2011)

olwen said:


> I don't know about other girls, but I'm ususally too nervous to eat or drink anything on the first few dates.



Hell, it's not just women who do this, I know my number one symptom of anxiety is nausea , unless the smell of food is damn good enough to override it.


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## luscious_lulu (Jan 22, 2011)

I abhor the whole fatties should wear this/shouldn't wear that attitude. IMO it's about what makes you feel good. If you feel good you will carry yourself better. 

I love fitted clothing, showing cleavage and wearing current trends. It's what I feel good in. I know people who don't and that's ok, too!


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## Shosh (Jan 22, 2011)

Aust99 said:


> This!
> 
> 
> No matter how you word things Shaneygirls... this thread can do nothing but make some people feel bad about how they look.... or what they choose to wear.... or even what clothes are available to them, size wise. Which is not really in the spirit of Dims, is it?



Well the OP asked for opinions and they were given to her.

This whole notion of what Dims is, and what it isn't is flawed.

It is not always about all the fatties here holding hands and singing Kumbaya.

My style of dressing is not for everyone, but I am not going to feel bad if others do not like it.

Like people in any community, you are going to have a range of opinions from members of the fat community, and conversely we should not be made to feel bad for giving our honest opinion.


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## Shosh (Jan 22, 2011)

ashmamma84 said:


> Fat people clothing isn't more expensive than thin peoples. It really isn't. Maybe it's thought that because some fat folks have never bought thin clothing so they could be going off hearsay. I'd say they are pretty much on par with each other actually. From high end to low end.
> 
> I'm a well kept woman - to me, that means taking pride in my appearance. I work in a field wear first impressions are everything and being put together is apart of it. That said, style and fashion don't necessarily mean the same thing. I like to think have more style than just being a victim of fashion.  Most importantly though, you're never well dressed until you don a great smile.



Yes indeed. I love your sense of style. You are a beautiful woman.


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## Lovelyone (Jan 22, 2011)

ashmamma84 said:


> Fat people clothing isn't more expensive than thin peoples. It really isn't. Maybe it's thought that because some fat folks have never bought thin clothing so they could be going off hearsay. I'd say they are pretty much on par with each other actually. From high end to low end.
> 
> I'm a well kept woman - to me, that means taking pride in my appearance. I work in a field wear first impressions are everything and being put together is apart of it. That said, style and fashion don't necessarily mean the same thing. I like to think have more style than just being a victim of fashion.  Most importantly though, you're never well dressed until you don a great smile.



Sorry Ash, you know I love ya and you are truly a lovely fashionista, but I have to disagree with you that clothing for larger women isn't more expensive than clothing for thin women. It IS more expensive. IMHO, especially for the super sized women who have no choice but to pay the exorbitant prices that manufacturers charge under the guise of having to use so much more extra material. While I agree that more material is used and I should have to pay a little more, I don't think that I should have to pay sometimes TRIPLE or QUADRUPLE what a thin person pays for their clothing. I can vouche for that with a recent example if you will indulge me...

I have a sister who is not fat (oh my!). She is a 135 lb. thin woman. We didn't always get along and for Christmas we decided to get matching (or similarly matching) sweaters for a family photo. For her...it was a quick run to Old Navy where she could rummage through the umpteen different styles of red sweaters they had and plop down $15.99 for the one that she liked and she was all good. For me it was delving through literally hundreds of on line sites, days and days of scouring and looking for something similar. It was a drive to three nearby plus sized clothing shops--none of which had a red sweater that didnt look horrible and was under 75 dollars. We literally went to the site of the maker of her sweater to find out how much it would be to get one for me that was similar to hers. it was a no go. They do not make the sizes that were needed. I literally had no choice but to settle for the ugly grandma sweater that cost literally 6 times what my sister's sweater cost.


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 22, 2011)

Let's start a thread about what we wish FAs would and wouldn't do/wear/say cause I got PLENTY to say about that.


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## Famouslastwords (Jan 23, 2011)

thatgirl08 said:


> Let's start a thread about what we wish FAs would and wouldn't do/wear/say cause I got PLENTY to say about that.



Of course THAT thread would get closed.


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## one2one (Jan 23, 2011)

Lovelyone said:


> I have to disagree with you that clothing for larger women isn't more expensive than clothing for thin women. It IS more expensive. IMHO, especially for the super sized women who have no choice but to pay the exorbitant prices that manufacturers charge under the guise of having to use so much more extra material.



I agree. And the excuse that it cost retailers and manufacturers more to produce larger clothing isn't necessarily true, anyway. They make up for it in lots of ways that make plus size and super size lines a pretty profitable venture. 

Fabrics often have a lower thread count and are made with shorter fibers, which are less expensive (for clothing manufacturers to purchase) and far less durable. That's also why they 'pill' so quickly when higher quality fabrics and knits, which are made with longer fibers, do not. 

The prevalence of synthetics and synthetic blends is a huge cost saver. Those chemical compounds that are extruded in the shape of fibers are unbelievably cheap to produce. Oh, and do you ever wonder why you can't find the latest, color trends in your size? It's because less expensive dyes and the undesirable color selections that no one bought two seasons ago, that are still left over and sitting in the basement, get sold to manufacturers at rock bottom prices. 

So, while it may take a little more fabric to make larger sizes, they've already accounted for that extra yardage and found ways to make sure their manufacturing costs don't cost them any extra at all. And unless you have a unique source for hand loomed and hand sewn garments, there's really not any additional 'labor' involved either. It's all loomed, cut and sewn using machines, and the machine operators probably spend about an extra second per inch guiding those not-quite-as-hot-as-you-were-hoping-for little (or big) items, as they pass underneath the needle.

Larger women often wear out clothing (need to replace it and ultimately spend more) faster, or find their favorite things have become stretched out and baggy (like the knees) or have seams that no longer hang straight but have migrated a bit toward the front or back. It's not because they're fat. It's not because they're harder on clothing. It's because poor quality (see lower thread count and shorter fibers) fabrics do that.

The exception to all of this are the retailers that partner with manufactures to produce the same quality clothing in larger sizes and are upfront about the extra cost to you. They are still making a profit of anywhere from 50% to 600% or more above what they paid for it, so there's no need to award them any medals. They can buy their own.



p.s. I am wearing a heather grey, scoop neck, tunic length, A-line Supima cotton t-shirt from Lane Bryant. With black polar tech pants from L.L Bean and my 25th anniversary Birkenstock Boston clogs. No socks. And I'm hunting online for anything in a size 24, in periwinkle. So far, nothing.


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## KittyKitten (Jan 23, 2011)

Shosh said:


> Who wants to look sloppy, when they can make an effort to put themselves together?
> 
> That is not being egotistical, that is putting your best foot forward.
> 
> ...



Hello beautiful Shosh. Sis, I love your self confidence. There is nothing wrong with a woman thinking that she is the 'shit' (as they say in the streets). In fact, I wish more women had that attitude about themselves without being called 'attention whores'. I see entire threads started by men showing off their goodness, thinking highly of themselves (rightfully so) and no one calls them attention whores, but for some reason if a female does the same thing, she is called 'vain'. I think society wants women to be humble, with their heads low on the ground and anyone who dares steps outside that box is met with "you think you are all that, hmm". I'll be damned if I let anyone make me feel inferior.


In all communities, people will not have the same opinion and that's ok. I'm also a BBW and very much pro-BBW and I do not take offense to this thread.


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## Christov (Jan 23, 2011)

thatgirl08 said:


> Let's start a thread about what we wish FAs would and wouldn't do/wear/say cause I got PLENTY to say about that.


I support this idea.


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## Shosh (Jan 23, 2011)

happyface83 said:


> Hello beautiful Shosh. Sis, I love your self confidence. There is nothing wrong with a woman thinking that she is the 'shit' (as they say in the streets). In fact, I wish more women had that attitude about themselves without being called 'attention whores'. I see entire threads started by men showing off their goodness, thinking highly of themselves (rightfully so) and no one calls them attention whores, but for some reason if a female does the same thing, she is called 'vain'. I think society wants women to be humble, with their heads low on the ground and anyone who dares steps outside that box is met with "you think you are all that, hmm".
> 
> 
> In all communities, people will not have the same opinion and that's ok. I'm also a BBW and very much pro-BBW and I do not take offense to this thread.



Thanks HF. I appreciate that.

I am also pro BBW/SSBBW. I just think we should make an effort to look the best we can everytime we leave our house. I was always taught that by the women in my family.
Our opinions were sought by the OP, and I gave mine. Simple as that.


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## The Orange Mage (Jan 23, 2011)

thatgirl08 said:


> Let's start a thread about what we wish FAs would and wouldn't do/wear/say cause I got PLENTY to say about that.



I support this as well, because lord knows we need to hear it.

(No sarcasm in this post. Serious.)


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## ThatFatGirl (Jan 23, 2011)

Shosh said:


> Thanks HF. I appreciate that.
> 
> I am also pro BBW/SSBBW. I just think we should make an effort to look the best we can everytime we leave our house. I was always taught that by the women in my family.
> Our opinions were sought by the OP, and I gave mine. Simple as that.



Here's a clue, Shosh, most of us do. But if/when a person stacks it on to 400, 500, or more pounds, the clothing options available to you become increasingly less attractive, more expensive, and less conveniently available. You may even find that regardless of how much praise the fat admirers bestow on you (the general you, mind you) that physically and mentally you don't feel your best so when you do get up the energy to leave the house, or you have no choice but to do so, the last thing on your mind is whether or not an FA in the real world is going to find you in your last pair of knit pants that fits and still has fabric between the thighs aesthetically pleasing.

The original question posed was not asking BBW's what they do to make themselves feel good or confident, it was asking FA/FFA's to reply with what they hated to see us do/wear. Do you not see the difference in that and how it can be found rather pointless and even hurtful?


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## ashmamma84 (Jan 23, 2011)

EvilPrincess said:


> This may be true up to the point you reach the supersizes. I don't mean just to a 5X I mean beyond that. When you are forced into a few online retailers then you are dealing in a totally different ballpark. If I want a well made stylish garment I don't have as many options, and at that end of the spectrum it is expensive. I will agree there are no designer supersized t-shirts with famous labels for 100s of dollars, I would argue that supersized clothing does not have as wide a price range of those in standard sizes.
> 
> The second issue is availability. There is a scarcity in supersized clothing that frightens me at time. In the supersizes there is a lack of* quality moderately priced options*. There is a price point and that is it, rarely are the bigger sizes left during a sale.
> 
> ...



I guess it depends on what you consider "quality moderately priced options". Roaman's, Woman Within, Jessica London, etc. Isn't expensive to me. Plus with coupon codes I know for a fact you can get things cheap because I've ordered a couple things from those catalogs and they go up to a 7x. It's on par for New York and Co, The Limited or Gap. And the things I've seen at MIB are on par for as far as price goes to items at Macy's, Nordstrom, Talbots, etc. I've heard of Peggy Lutz and she does some higher end things for supersizes but again - nothing that's astronomical in price. Its about what I'd expect to pay for evening wear at a fine department store. Having said that though, higher end things aren't for everyone. But obviously economic downturn or not fat women are still paying for the privilege of wearing her clothing. Her site sure seems to be up and running so someone's buying it and they aren't thin women.

I shop both in online, in store, catalog, etc so I'm not seeing the disparity. 



Lovelyone said:


> Sorry Ash, you know I love ya and you are truly a lovely fashionista, but I have to disagree with you that clothing for larger women isn't more expensive than clothing for thin women. It IS more expensive. IMHO, especially for the super sized women who have no choice but to pay the exorbitant prices that manufacturers charge under the guise of having to use so much more extra material. While I agree that more material is used and I should have to pay a little more, I don't think that I should have to pay sometimes TRIPLE or QUADRUPLE what a thin person pays for their clothing. I can vouche for that with a recent example if you will indulge me...
> 
> I have a sister who is not fat (oh my!). She is a 135 lb. thin woman. We didn't always get along and for Christmas we decided to get matching (or similarly matching) sweaters for a family photo. For her...it was a quick run to Old Navy where she could rummage through the umpteen different styles of red sweaters they had and plop down $15.99 for the one that she liked and she was all good. For me it was delving through literally hundreds of on line sites, days and days of scouring and looking for something similar. It was a drive to three nearby plus sized clothing shops--none of which had a red sweater that didnt look horrible and was under 75 dollars. We literally went to the site of the maker of her sweater to find out how much it would be to get one for me that was similar to hers. it was a no go. They do not make the sizes that were needed. I literally had no choice but to settle for the ugly grandma sweater that cost literally 6 times what my sister's sweater cost.



Don't supersize women wear ON too though? I know several have chimed in on the fashion board saying they've ordered things from there with luck. They tend to run big across the board so I don't have to wear plus sizes in ON. They do a decent job of fitting a lot of body sizes from super thin to super fat. I will say it's a little harder to shop in store for super sizes but I wonder if that's just because in terms of logistics its easier to shop online? What with mobility issues, etc ...?

eta - Teri you went to the stores without coupons?! Girlllllllll, you can really clean up with a Take $25 off a purchase of $75 or more kind of deal. If I step foot in any store - high end or low end I usually have a coupon. Why buy full price if its going to go on sale? Walking into any store last minute, I pretty much expect to pay full price for clothes and I'm not SS. I think that's name of the game when it comes to shopping unless you are 135lbs like your sister and most women are not.


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## Dromond (Jan 23, 2011)

thatgirl08 said:


> Let's start a thread about what we wish FAs would and wouldn't do/wear/say cause I got PLENTY to say about that.





Christov said:


> I support this idea.





The Orange Mage said:


> I support this as well, because lord knows we need to hear it.
> 
> (No sarcasm in this post. Serious.)



Count me in. Start that thread.


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 23, 2011)

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=81757


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## Shosh (Jan 23, 2011)

ThatFatGirl said:


> Here's a clue, Shosh, most of us do. But if/when a person stacks it on to 400, 500, or more pounds, the clothing options available to you become increasingly less attractive, more expensive, and less conveniently available. You may even find that regardless of how much praise the fat admirers bestow on you (the general you, mind you) that physically and mentally you don't feel your best so when you do get up the energy to leave the house, or you have no choice but to do so, the last thing on your mind is whether or not an FA in the real world is going to find you in your last pair of knit pants that fits and still has fabric between the thighs aesthetically pleasing.
> 
> The original question posed was not asking BBW's what they do to make themselves feel good or confident, it was asking FA/FFA's to reply with what they hated to see us do/wear. Do you not see the difference in that and how it can be found rather pointless and even hurtful?



I love being fat, but for me, when I get to the point where I can no longer fit into cute clothes, I pull back a bit.

That is just me though. 

Giving my honest opinion. I realize people do not want to hear that, but that is the way I feel for MY life.

There are women here who are 500+ pounds, and they still wear cute stuff and look amazing. It can be done. It just takes a bit of creativity.


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## cinnamitch (Jan 23, 2011)

Shosh said:


> I love being fat, but for me, when I get to the point where I can no longer fit into cute clothes, I pull back a bit.
> 
> That is just me though.
> 
> ...



Well hell we all should have thought of that, just pull back a bit. Wonderful idea.Thanks.


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## Shosh (Jan 23, 2011)

cinnamitch said:


> Well hell we all should have thought of that, just pull back a bit. Wonderful idea.Thanks.



You are welcome.

If we expect certain grooming from men, we should have standards for ourselves as women.


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 23, 2011)

You love being fat? Since when? I remember the days when you hated how you looked and felt like shit about yourself and when you hated other fat women for being confident in themselves. You love to show it all off now but remember when you thought naked paysite girls were the scum of the earth? I mean seriously, do you not see your own hypocrisy? It's lovely you feel good about yourself now but you really need to stop shoving that shit down everyone else's throat with "IT'S MY OPINION." It's socially inappropriate and borderline obnoxious. (And that's MY opinion!)


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## olwen (Jan 23, 2011)

ashmamma84 said:


> I guess it depends on what you consider "quality moderately priced options". Roaman's, Woman Within, Jessica London, etc. Isn't expensive to me. Plus with coupon codes I know for a fact you can get things cheap because I've ordered a couple things from those catalogs and they go up to a 7x. It's on par for New York and Co, The Limited or Gap. And the things I've seen at MIB are on par for as far as price goes to items at Macy's, Nordstrom, Talbots, etc. I've heard of Peggy Lutz and she does some higher end things for supersizes but again - nothing that's astronomical in price. Its about what I'd expect to pay for evening wear at a fine department store. Having said that though, higher end things aren't for everyone. But obviously economic downturn or not fat women are still paying for the privilege of wearing her clothing. Her site sure seems to be up and running so someone's buying it and they aren't thin women.
> 
> I shop both in online, in store, catalog, etc so I'm not seeing the disparity.
> 
> ...



ON stopped selling plus sized items in store over a year ago. I get what you are saying. Since I started looking for dresses I have noticed that the prices are basically the same for dresses for thin women. Average price fora nice dress is about $99-$135. However, at size 30 and above the average price for a dress can start at around $169. Average price for a nice dress at Igigi in size 30+ was about $208. I could get a basic dress from Romans, WW or any shop from OneStopPlus, or even Alight with a coupon, but the quality will suck and the colors will fade pretty quick. Most of the time you have to shop online when you are super sized and you have to factor in the cost to either buy two of something and return one, or buy one and be prepared to pay for return shipping and shipping back to you for a new item. This can add on an extra $25 to the cost in some cases. What you are saying is fine if one is a size 22 or 24, but above a size 28 or 30 it gets harder to find quality clothes that fit right.


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## Shosh (Jan 23, 2011)

thatgirl08 said:


> You love being fat? Since when? I remember the days when you hated how you looked and felt like shit about yourself and when you hated other fat women for being confident in themselves. You love to show it all off now but remember when you thought naked paysite girls were the scum of the earth? I mean seriously, do you not see your own hypocrisy? It's lovely you feel good about yourself now but you really need to stop shoving that shit down everyone else's throat with "IT'S MY OPINION." It's socially inappropriate and borderline obnoxious. (And that's MY opinion!)



I never hated other women for being confident in themselves. I hated men speaking to women disrespectfully and treating them like a slab of meat in those paysite threads, if you read what I originally wrote in that ancient thread.
I wont be explaining that for the umpteenth time.
Your issues are your issues.
I have never felt that paysite girls were the scum of anything, I just did not like them being disrespected.
Get your facts straight.

Back to the topic at hand.


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## ThatFatGirl (Jan 23, 2011)

ashmamma84 said:


> I guess it depends on what you consider "quality moderately priced options". *Roaman's, Woman Within, Jessica London, etc. Isn't expensive to me. Plus with coupon codes I know for a fact you can get things cheap because I've ordered a couple things from those catalogs and they go up to a 7x*. It's on par for New York and Co, The Limited or Gap. And the things I've seen at MIB are on par for as far as price goes to items at Macy's, Nordstrom, Talbots, etc. I've heard of Peggy Lutz and she does some higher end things for supersizes but again - nothing that's astronomical in price. Its about what I'd expect to pay for evening wear at a fine department store. Having said that though, higher end things aren't for everyone. But obviously economic downturn or not fat women are still paying for the privilege of wearing her clothing. Her site sure seems to be up and running so someone's buying it and they aren't thin women.
> 
> I shop both in online, in store, catalog, etc so I'm not seeing the disparity.
> 
> ...




Just a note about Roaman's/Woman Within/Jessica London - all items are not available to size 7x. In fact, most are not. If you're lucky, something new, modern and cute will go up to 5x. They have some of the basic items (cotton "big shirts", t-shirts, mock turtlenecks, and plenty of poly tent tops) up to 7x. Some women can make these basics work for them, use coupons, and they order the same items over and over again. But if you actually want something trendy in a 7x, good luck. Also, you have to figure into the cost shipping, sometimes both ways because if something doesn't fit you're going to spend almost $7 returning it with that retailer. Add to this if you're wearing a size 7x, the energy required in getting the package together and making a trip to UPS to return a $20 item that you're only going to get $13 back on it, makes you question if it's even worth it and you end up with multiple items that just sit in the back of your closet collecting dust. That was my experience anyway.

MIB depresses me. Yes, the quality of their clothing may be better than that of Roaman's/WomanWithin, but the styles available are definitely nowhere near what's available at Nordstrum's or even Macy's. 

Old Navy does go to 4x in tops and 30 in jeans. When I was wearing 6x-7x tops, every once in a while something from there (in the stretchy Modal fabric) would work for me. The majority did not. I agree, never order from there or Roaman's/Womanwithin/onestopplus without coupon codes. They help a lot!


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## Lovelyone (Jan 23, 2011)

ashmamma84 said:


> *snipped*
> 
> Don't supersize women wear ON too though? I know several have chimed in on the fashion board saying they've ordered things from there with luck. They tend to run big across the board so I don't have to wear plus sizes in ON. They do a decent job of fitting a lot of body sizes from super thin to super fat. I will say it's a little harder to shop in store for super sizes but I wonder if that's just because in terms of logistics its easier to shop online? What with mobility issues, etc ...?
> 
> eta - Teri you went to the stores without coupons?! Girlllllllll, you can really clean up with a Take $25 off a purchase of $75 or more kind of deal. If I step foot in any store - high end or low end I usually have a coupon. Why buy full price if its going to go on sale? Walking into any store last minute, I pretty much expect to pay full price for clothes and I'm not SS. I think that's name of the game when it comes to shopping unless you are 135lbs like your sister and most women are not.



Ash I can only speak for myself in regard to the ON thing. There are NO clothing options at ON that I can wear with the exception of scarfs, gloves and hats. I am a 5x on top and a 6x on bottom. Old navy does not carry those sizes.  Normally I would try to find a coupon or code on line, but even those are hard to find with regard to the specialty clothing shops that some of us larger lovely ladies have to resort to buying our clothing at. I can find bargains and often do wait until someone has a sale that I might benefit from. I've noticed though that most on line clothing stores offer 1x-3x clothing for sale with the larger sizes already having been "sold out". My personal opinion is that they rarely ever offer the larger sizes (5x+) for sale because they would lose money by offering them on sale or because they just dont keep enough of that kind of clothing on hand. When they DO offer them on sale...the only thing left is the granny clothing. GAK. 

I would LOVE to be able to wear some of the things that Torrid or ON offers. I may be +40 years old but I want to show style, too. As a proud ssbbw, I don't think that I should have to conform and "pull back a bit" like its been suggested--in order to be able to buy pretty clothing items to fit me. I am no less important than someone who is a smaller frame. My money spends just as well as theirs does. I work just as hard to earn my money as they do and I should have the same benefit of finding pretty feminine things that fit me. There really IS an untapped market out there for stylish ssbbw clothing and with the trend in body sizes to be growing...someday perhaps in a thousand years when they are the minority the thin people will know what its like to have to scurry around to find something stylish.(not that I wish that on anyone.)


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## KittyKitten (Jan 23, 2011)

Lovelyone said:


> Ash I can only speak for myself in regard to the ON thing. There are NO clothing options at ON that I can wear with the exception of scarfs, gloves and hats. I am a 5x on top and a 6x on bottom. Old navy does not carry those sizes.  Normally I would try to find a coupon or code on line, but even those are hard to find with regard to the specialty clothing shops that some of us larger lovely ladies have to resort to buying our clothing at. I can find bargains and often do wait until someone has a sale that I might benefit from. I've noticed though that most on line clothing stores offer 1x-3x clothing for sale with the larger sizes already having been "sold out". My personal opinion is that they rarely ever offer the larger sizes (5x+) for sale because they would lose money by offering them on sale or because they just dont keep enough of that kind of clothing on hand. When they DO offer them on sale...the only thing left is the granny clothing. GAK.
> 
> I would LOVE to be able to wear some of the things that Torrid or ON offers. I may be +40 years old but I want to show style, too. As a proud ssbbw, I don't think that I should have to conform and "pull back a bit" like its been suggested--in order to be able to buy pretty clothing items to fit me. I am no less important than someone who is a smaller frame. My money spends just as well as theirs does. I work just as hard to earn my money as they do and I should have the same benefit of finding pretty feminine things that fit me. There really IS an untapped market out there for stylish ssbbw clothing and with the trend in body sizes to be growing...someday perhaps in a thousand years when they are the minority the thin people will know what its like to have to scurry around to find something stylish.(not that I wish that on anyone.)



That's why I prefer shopping at more 'urban' stores that carry certain sizes. There are so many stores that stop only at a size 16! I agree so much that there is an untapped market for women of size. Honestly it is so much better now than even ten years ago.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jan 23, 2011)

EvilPrincess said:


> This may be true up to the point you reach the supersizes. I don't mean just to a 5X I mean beyond that. When you are forced into a few online retailers then you are dealing in a totally different ballpark. If I want a well made stylish garment I don't have as many options, and at that end of the spectrum it is expensive. I will agree there are no designer supersized t-shirts with famous labels for 100s of dollars, I would argue that supersized clothing does not have as wide a price range of those in standard sizes.
> 
> The second issue is availability. There is a scarcity in supersized clothing that frightens me at time. In the supersizes there is a lack of* quality moderately priced options*. There is a price point and that is it, rarely are the bigger sizes left during a sale.
> 
> ...



So very well said.


----------



## Shosh (Jan 23, 2011)

thatgirl08 said:


> You love being fat? Since when? I remember the days when you hated how you looked and felt like shit about yourself and when you hated other fat women for being confident in themselves. You love to show it all off now but remember when you thought naked paysite girls were the scum of the earth? I mean seriously, do you not see your own hypocrisy? It's lovely you feel good about yourself now but you really need to stop shoving that shit down everyone else's throat with "IT'S MY OPINION." It's socially inappropriate and borderline obnoxious. (And that's MY opinion!)



This from a person who thinks women should have to breastfeed their babies in public bathrooms, because them performing a perfectly natural biological act in public may offend you.
Umm. Interesting.

But you know what, that was an ancient thread.

I might just give you the benefit of the doubt that your thinking has evolved since then.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Jan 23, 2011)

Shosh said:


> You are welcome.
> 
> If we expect certain grooming from men, we should have standards for ourselves as women.





Christov said:


> But seriously. Horrible tentish clothing. I know a lot of big ladies don't subscribe to the 'if you've got it, flaunt it' mentality because of general size oppression, but those sorts of clothes are terribly designed and not very nice indeed. It isn't like there aren't any nice clothes for BBWs in mainstream shops now (Evans, etc.), so why just be consigned to the oversize flowery blouses of yesteryear?





shaneygirls said:


> Not too sure how to word what I want to ask but as the discussion progresses (hopefully) maybe it can be drawn outta me.... Here goes...
> 
> This is directed at the FA's and FFA's...
> 
> ...



Fabulous. If any of the three of you can find me non-knit pants that go up to 100" hips for under $50, I will be SO glad to stop wearing knit pants entirely!

Here's a hint: there's no such thing.


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## Shosh (Jan 23, 2011)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Fabulous. If any of the three of you can find me non-knit pants that go up to 100" hips for under $50, I will be SO glad to stop wearing knit pants entirely!
> 
> Here's a hint: there's no such thing.



I dont know about pants, but you often wear cute dresses.

I dont wear pants myself. I find them uncomfortable, and I prefer skirts and dresses.


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## KittyKitten (Jan 23, 2011)

Shosh said:


> I dont know about pants, but you often wear cute dresses.
> 
> I dont wear pants myself. I find them uncomfortable, and I prefer skirts and dresses.



I'm also a dress lady myself. I especially hate jeans, they feel uncomfortable.


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## ashmamma84 (Jan 23, 2011)

olwen said:


> ON stopped selling plus sized items in store over a year ago. I get what you are saying. Since I started looking for dresses I have noticed that the prices are basically the same for dresses for thin women. Average price fora nice dress is about $99-$135. However, at size 30 and above the average price for a dress can start at around $169. Average price for a nice dress at Igigi in size 30+ was about $208. I could get a basic dress from Romans, WW or any shop from OneStopPlus, or even Alight with a coupon, but the quality will suck and the colors will fade pretty quick. Most of the time you have to shop online when you are super sized and you have to factor in the cost to either buy two of something and return one, or buy one and be prepared to pay for return shipping and shipping back to you for a new item. This can add on an extra $25 to the cost in some cases. What you are saying is fine if one is a size 22 or 24, but above a size 28 or 30 it gets harder to find quality clothes that fit right.



I'm plus size and if I want quality clothes, I have to spend. So do my thin friends. I'm a big fan of Talbots clothing (and most often purchase on sale) among other lines. If thin women want horrible quality they can go to Forever21 or something. If not, they're going to pay a premium for that luxury. Whether it's buying off the rack/catalog and having that item tailored etc. 

Also, because I am short and curvy I end up purchasing two or three of an item as well. I spend a lot tailoring my clothing too because not everyone makes plus size petite lines to fit me. It can be a headache for me, but I've pretty much resigned myself to either doing it this way or learning how to sew. And well, I don't have the time or patience to do the latter.


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## ashmamma84 (Jan 23, 2011)

ThatFatGirl said:


> Just a note about Roaman's/Woman Within/Jessica London - all items are not available to size 7x. In fact, most are not. If you're lucky, something new, modern and cute will go up to 5x. They have some of the basic items (cotton "big shirts", t-shirts, mock turtlenecks, and plenty of poly tent tops) up to 7x. Some women can make these basics work for them, use coupons, and they order the same items over and over again. But if you actually want something trendy in a 7x, good luck. Also, you have to figure into the cost shipping, sometimes both ways because if something doesn't fit you're going to spend almost $7 returning it with that retailer. Add to this if you're wearing a size 7x, the energy required in getting the package together and making a trip to UPS to return a $20 item that you're only going to get $13 back on it, makes you question if it's even worth it and you end up with multiple items that just sit in the back of your closet collecting dust. That was my experience anyway.
> 
> MIB depresses me. Yes, the quality of their clothing may be better than that of Roaman's/WomanWithin, but the styles available are definitely nowhere near what's available at Nordstrum's or even Macy's.
> 
> Old Navy does go to 4x in tops and 30 in jeans. When I was wearing 6x-7x tops, every once in a while something from there (in the stretchy Modal fabric) would work for me. The majority did not. I agree, never order from there or Roaman's/Womanwithin/onestopplus without coupon codes. They help a lot!





Lovelyone said:


> Ash I can only speak for myself in regard to the ON thing. There are NO clothing options at ON that I can wear with the exception of scarfs, gloves and hats. I am a 5x on top and a 6x on bottom. Old navy does not carry those sizes.  Normally I would try to find a coupon or code on line, but even those are hard to find with regard to the specialty clothing shops that some of us larger lovely ladies have to resort to buying our clothing at. I can find bargains and often do wait until someone has a sale that I might benefit from. I've noticed though that most on line clothing stores offer 1x-3x clothing for sale with the larger sizes already having been "sold out". My personal opinion is that they rarely ever offer the larger sizes (5x+) for sale because they would lose money by offering them on sale or because they just dont keep enough of that kind of clothing on hand. When they DO offer them on sale...the only thing left is the granny clothing. GAK.
> 
> I would LOVE to be able to wear some of the things that Torrid or ON offers. I may be +40 years old but I want to show style, too. As a proud ssbbw, I don't think that I should have to conform and "pull back a bit" like its been suggested--in order to be able to buy pretty clothing items to fit me. I am no less important than someone who is a smaller frame. My money spends just as well as theirs does. I work just as hard to earn my money as they do and I should have the same benefit of finding pretty feminine things that fit me. There really IS an untapped market out there for stylish ssbbw clothing and with the trend in body sizes to be growing...someday perhaps in a thousand years when they are the minority the thin people will know what its like to have to scurry around to find something stylish.(not that I wish that on anyone.)



Points taken, Laura and Teri. I wasn't arguing a lack of stylish clothing, just that I truly don't see price differences in my shopping/ordering experiences.

Also I know Torrid just added 30/32 a little while ago and that was probably due to women making their voices heard. Maybe the same thing should be done for Roaman's, WW, etc about adding more options in 7x. I know a couple of my friends and I wrote to Forever21 about increasing their sizing options for their plus size line. I don't know if they listened, but time will tell. I know they added a 3x last spring or summer so maybe they'll increase their offerings again.


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## olwen (Jan 23, 2011)

ashmamma84 said:


> I'm plus size and if I want quality clothes, I have to spend. So do my thin friends. I'm a big fan of Talbots clothing (and most often purchase on sale) among other lines. If thin women want horrible quality they can go to Forever21 or something. If not, they're going to pay a premium for that luxury. Whether it's buying off the rack/catalog and having that item tailored etc.
> 
> Also, because I am short and curvy I end up purchasing two or three of an item as well. I spend a lot tailoring my clothing too because not everyone makes plus size petite lines to fit me. It can be a headache for me, but I've pretty much resigned myself to either doing it this way or learning how to sew. And well, I don't have the time or patience to do the latter.



Talbots stops at size 24, 22 in most items. I can't shop there, but they do have nice stuff. My sister loves Ann Taylor Loft and always buys things on sale but again, I can't shop there. The only brick and mortar stores here are Lane Bryant, The Avenue, and Asheley Stewart (which runs small, so I don't ever go there). I have taken the time to learn to sew basic things like a hem and to knit and crochet. I'm working on a new pair of leggings right now. I find this easier than looking high and low for a pair that would fit me.


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## ashmamma84 (Jan 23, 2011)

olwen said:


> Talbots stops at size 24, 22 in most items. I can't shop there, but they do have nice stuff. My sister loves Ann Taylor Loft and always buys things on sale but again, I can't shop there. The only brick and mortar stores here are Lane Bryant, The Avenue, and Asheley Stewart (which runs small, so I don't ever go there). I have taken the time to learn to sew basic things like a hem and to knit and crochet. I'm working on a new pair of leggings right now. I find this easier than looking high and low for a pair that would fit me.



My point was that most women have trouble with buying clothing - it's not a problem only supersize women or women above a size 22/24 deal with. If you want clothing to fit well, it's most likely going to have to be tailored - thin or not. 

I wish I had the patience to learn to sew. I have a couple patterns/ideas swirling around I'd like to see come to fruition.


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## olwen (Jan 23, 2011)

ashmamma84 said:


> My point was that most women have trouble with buying clothing - it's not a problem only supersize women or women above a size 22/24 deal with. If you want clothing to fit well, it's most likely going to have to be tailored - thin or not.
> 
> I wish I had the patience to learn to sew. I have a couple patterns/ideas swirling around I'd like to see come to fruition.



I suppose that's true if a woman is really tall or really short. I have tall coworkers who say it's hard to find clothes that fit right, but I know she will still have an easier time finding garments than I would even if we both have to take our clothes to a tailor. Learning some basic sewing techniques is worth the effort tho. I have bought maxi dresses in my size and cut and hemmed them to knee length simply because at the time I bought them, they seemed to be the only ones in my size I could find that were cut right on top.


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## Famouslastwords (Jan 23, 2011)

Shosh said:


> I dont know about pants, but you often wear cute dresses.
> 
> I dont wear pants myself. I find them uncomfortable, and I prefer skirts and dresses.



Oh yeah in winter? It's currently 30.2 °F where Ginny is right now, or -1° C, let's see how warm that lovely dress keeps your legs. Huh?


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## superodalisque (Jan 23, 2011)

i sleep naked. it solves the sock issue


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## Shosh (Jan 23, 2011)

Famouslastwords said:


> Oh yeah in winter? It's currently 30.2 °F where Ginny is right now, or -1° C, let's see how warm that lovely dress keeps your legs. Huh?



Yes. I wear dresses in winter. I wear long coats with them.

Being fatter I do not feel the cold so much.

Inside one generally has heating, so it is ok.


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## Famouslastwords (Jan 23, 2011)

Shosh said:


> Yes. I wear dresses in winter. I wear long coats with them.
> 
> Being fatter I do not feel the cold so much.
> 
> Inside one generally has heating, so it is ok.



Do you have any idea what a long coat in our size costs?

Also...no snow in australia, you bet your ass you'd feel it here.


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## MisticalMisty (Jan 23, 2011)

ashmamma84 said:


> My point was that most women have trouble with buying clothing - it's not a problem only supersize women or women above a size 22/24 deal with. If you want clothing to fit well, it's most likely going to have to be tailored - thin or not.
> 
> I wish I had the patience to learn to sew. I have a couple patterns/ideas swirling around I'd like to see come to fruition.



Of course very few women can wear anything right off the rack, but it's an even bigger issue *no pun intended * for super sized women. We can't walk into any store and find something that we can have tailored. Hell, we can barely walk into the plus size stores that are supposed to cater to us and find the size we need. I am rarely able to find anything in the brick and mortar stores that will fit me. I had some pants tailored last year and those pants ended costing me 75 bucks a pair in the long run by the time I paid for them and then paid for them to be tailored.

Here's what it boils down to in the end..you can understand somewhat..but until you've lived the experience you will never truly know how difficult it can be.


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## Shosh (Jan 23, 2011)

Famouslastwords said:


> Do you have any idea what a long coat in our size costs?
> 
> Also...no snow in australia, you bet your ass you'd feel it here.



I would still not wear pants, as dresses are my preference regardless.

Thrift stores sell coats if money is an issue, and in larger sizes as they come in.

I volunteer at one.

For some core items of clothing like a coat, you often have to pay what it costs if you want a new item. You have to budget for it.

People can wear pants if they want, but you have to pay for them. What can you do? Nothing is cheap these days.


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## penguin (Jan 23, 2011)

Famouslastwords said:


> Also...no snow in australia, you bet your ass you'd feel it here.



I'd just like to point out that's not true. It snows in plenty of places here, just mostly in the lower south east corner.


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## Shosh (Jan 23, 2011)

penguin said:


> I'd just like to point out that's not true. It snows in plenty of places here, just mostly in the lower south east corner.



It does snow more in the mountains, but yes Penguin you are right it does snow in places.

But then a lot of foreigners have no clue about life in Australia, so what can you do?


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## Famouslastwords (Jan 23, 2011)

Shosh said:


> I would still not wear pants, as dresses are my preference regardless.
> 
> Thrift stores sell coats if money is an issue, and in larger sizes as they come in.
> 
> ...



Do you even know how hard it is to score a supersized coat in your size at a thrift store?

Ok. Let me explain to you how thrift stores work, because really they don't work like magic shosh.

Someone, IN YOUR SIZE, has to DONATE, THEIR COAT, to THE EXACT thrift YOU GO CHECK. Considering long coats in my size run about $200-$300, they probably hold onto them for quite awhile, so they probably don't get donated all that often, especially in today's economy. I could be talking out of my ass, but then that would just make two.


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## Shosh (Jan 23, 2011)

Famouslastwords said:


> Do you even know how hard it is to score a supersized coat in your size at a thrift store?
> 
> Ok. Let me explain to you how thrift stores work, because really they don't work like magic shosh.
> 
> Someone, IN YOUR SIZE, has to DONATE, THEIR COAT, to THE EXACT thrift YOU GO CHECK. Considering long coats in my size run about $200-$300, they probably hold onto them for quite awhile, so they probably don't get donated all that often, especially in today's economy. I could be talking out of my ass, but then that would just make two.



You are right, you have to be lucky to pick up these precious items, but I have been amazed at a few things I have snagged recently.

I buy a mix of new and thrift store stuff.

I recently bought a dress at the thrift store for three dollars.
I even made a YouTube video about it.


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## ashmamma84 (Jan 23, 2011)

MisticalMisty said:


> Of course very few women can wear anything right off the rack, but it's an even bigger issue *no pun intended * for super sized women. We can't walk into any store and find something that we can have tailored. Hell, we can barely walk into the plus size stores that are supposed to cater to us and find the size we need. I am rarely able to find anything in the brick and mortar stores that will fit me. I had some pants tailored last year and those pants ended costing me 75 bucks a pair in the long run by the time I paid for them and then paid for them to be tailored.
> 
> Here's what it boils down to in the end..you can understand somewhat..but until you've lived the experience you will never truly know how difficult it can be.



I don't have to be supersized to know fit issues come into play. I'm petite and have sizing issues so it can be difficult on me too. Like I said, I do my best to work around that. And as of now, I'm not going to sew (though that's a viable option for anyone) so I have my items tailored. And for me - that 75 dollars would have been well spent if they were pants that I wore often. That's another reason I'm willing to spend on tailoring. The majority of the time I'm in work wear so it makes sense to me to make sure my trousers, suits, skirts, etc fit me to a T. I personally use a cost per wear kinda thing when I'm figuring out if I should spend on having something altered. Dressy/work wear? No doubt. Casual tops/pants? Not really.


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## MisticalMisty (Jan 23, 2011)

ashmamma84 said:


> *I don't have to be supersized to know fit issues come into play.* I'm petite and have sizing issues so it can be difficult on me too. Like I said, I do my best to work around that. And as of now, I'm not going to sew (though that's a viable option for anyone) so I have my items tailored.



There's a world of difference between an item being two short or too long and an item being 3, 4, 5 or more sizes too small. 

You'rel lucky that you can find such cute clothes, afford to purchase them and tailor them. Not all of us are that lucky and I think we are just asking for a little understanding that it's not as easy for larger sizes as it is for everyone.


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## Carrie (Jan 23, 2011)

I'm throwing off the oppressive yoke of fashion and just wearing a flesh-colored unitard from now on.


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## CastingPearls (Jan 23, 2011)

I'm impressed* by how the thread started out by asking the guys what they hated about fatty fashion choices and it devolved (I called it btw, go me) into fatties ripping each apart over fatty fashion choices. 





*but not really

I'd walk around nekkid 24/7 but unlike SuperShosh my adiposity doesn't keep me sufficiently warm. 
I do shiver adorably though.


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## penguin (Jan 23, 2011)

Carrie said:


> I'm throwing off the oppressive yoke of fashion and just wearing a flesh-colored unitard from now on.



Will it have a flap on the butt, or will you have to pull it all the way off to go to the loo?


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## Shosh (Jan 23, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> I'm impressed* by how the thread started out by asking the guys what they hated about fatty fashion choices and it devolved (I called it btw, go me) into fatties ripping each apart over fatty fashion choices.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Lol. I will shiver for beauty! I am honest.

Look, women fat or thin disagree, it is just the way it is.


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## Lovelyone (Jan 23, 2011)

Carrie said:


> I'm throwing off the oppressive yoke of fashion and just wearing a flesh-colored unitard from now on.



I would do the same except I would fear that I would be mistaken for a huge ball of chewed up bubble gum and someone would try to toss me in the waste bin.


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## cinnamitch (Jan 23, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> I'm impressed* by how the thread started out by asking the guys what they hated about fatty fashion choices and it devolved (I called it btw, go me) into fatties ripping each apart over fatty fashion choices.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Well i guess we should just go to ms Shosh for advice on how to dress properly . After all she has had great success it seems. Still trying to figure out the best way for a fat woman to do without a coat in 20 below zero weather but we MUST look our best ( are icicles in fashion this year?)


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## CastingPearls (Jan 23, 2011)

cinnamitch said:


> Well i guess we should just go to ms Shosh for advice on how to dress properly . After all she has had great success it seems. Still trying to figure out the best way for a fat woman to do without a coat in 20 below zero weather but we MUST look our best ( are icicles in fashion this year?)


Icicles do make nipples outstanding, I must say.


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## Shosh (Jan 23, 2011)

cinnamitch said:


> Well i guess we should just go to ms Shosh for advice on how to dress properly . After all she has had great success it seems. Still trying to figure out the best way for a fat woman to do without a coat in 20 below zero weather but we MUST look our best ( are icicles in fashion this year?)



I actually said I wear a coat over my dresses in winter.

I just do not wear pants, as is my personal preference.
I would prefer cold legs than to wear pants, as is my right.

You may want to re read what I wrote.

Such bitterness.


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## Tracyarts (Jan 23, 2011)

" Do you even know how hard it is to score a supersized coat in your size at a thrift store? "

Huge supermarket-sized thrift stores are very common here. I have literally spent up to two hours at a time flipping through every single garment on the "plus size" racks at some of these stores and could not find a single item over a size 4X. In the past year I can count on one hand, with fingers left over, the number of garments I have found in thrift stores that not only fit properly as-is or with minor alterations, but that actually went with at least one other item in my wardrobe. 

If I needed a long warm coat and my only source of finding one was at a thrift store, my best bet would be to purchase a thick king sized blanket and wrap it around my body like a cape. 

Tracy


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## LovelyLiz (Jan 23, 2011)

Tracyarts said:


> " Do you even know how hard it is to score a supersized coat in your size at a thrift store? "
> 
> Huge supermarket-sized thrift stores are very common here. *I have literally spent up to two hours at a time flipping through every single garment on the "plus size" racks at some of these stores* and could not find a single item over a size 4X. In the past year I can count on one hand, with fingers left over, the number of garments I have found in thrift stores that not only fit properly as-is or with minor alterations, but that actually went with at least one other item in my wardrobe.
> 
> ...



I was LOL at that blanket comment...hilarious and sad...but true!

Also, the thrift stores by you have plus-size racks? That is really a pretty great achievement and step in the right direction, in itself. Over here they just mix in the few plus sized items with all the regular sized items, and it's not even worth it for me to really go through everything to try to find that ONE THING that *may* fit me (and usually it will be hideous). I hope that plus-size rack movement makes its way to the thrift stores in this area.


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## Shosh (Jan 23, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> I was LOL at that blanket comment...hilarious and sad...but true!
> 
> Also, the thrift stores by you have plus-size racks? That is really a pretty great achievement and step in the right direction, in itself. Over here they just mix in the few plus sized items with all the regular sized items, and it's not even worth it for me to really go through everything to try to find that ONE THING that *may* fit me (and usually it will be hideous). I hope that plus-size rack movement makes its way to the thrift stores in this area.



I volunteer twice a week at a thrift store here, and I actually manage the plus size section, making sure it is stocked with all manner of items.
I have managed to put some really nice and stylish clothes in that section, as I know women want to look and feel good about themselves.

Thrift stores are not what they used to be, We often have new stuff donated, and we are able to offer these clothes at low cost to those most in need.
At our thrift store we put a lot of time into presentation of the clothes in various areas throughout the store. 
Of course we also have pre loved stuff donated.

I enjoy working there as I know what I do is helping vulnerable people.

We also assist families with food packages and furniture and clothing vouchers.


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## cinnamitch (Jan 23, 2011)

Shosh said:


> I volunteer twice a week at a thrift store here, and I actually manage the plus size section, making sure it is stocked with all manner of items.
> I have managed to put some really nice and stylish clothes in that section, as I know women want to look and feel good about themselves.
> 
> Thrift stores are not what they used to be, We often have new stuff donated, and we are able to offer these clothes at low cost to those most in need.
> ...



Well the thrift store in my town is fairly large and well stocked since we have a lot of customers due to it being a University town. I volunteered there as a receptionist/ intake coordinator and knew exactly what came in. In the two years i volunteered we never received any item of womens clothing larger than a size 2x.( and that was like maybe 10 items in the whole 2 years). We would get phone calls from various agencies and desperate women in the area asking if we had clothing for plus size clients. The workforce center would try to provide clothing for people to do job interviews if they did not have any. Most of the items were from our shop. There were a lot of people who were not able to get clothing even for job interviews because we just didn't get the sizes we needed in. I'm not even talking 4, 5, 6x, I am talking 2,3x. My story isn't unusual. Its nice you have it better over there, but then again that's not over here.


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## Shosh (Jan 24, 2011)

cinnamitch said:


> Well the thrift store in my town is fairly large and well stocked since we have a lot of customers due to it being a University town. I volunteered there as a receptionist/ intake coordinator and knew exactly what came in. In the two years i volunteered we never received any item of womens clothing larger than a size 2x.( and that was like maybe 10 items in the whole 2 years). We would get phone calls from various agencies and desperate women in the area asking if we had clothing for plus size clients. The workforce center would try to provide clothing for people to do job interviews if they did not have any. Most of the items were from our shop. There were a lot of people who were not able to get clothing even for job interviews because we just didn't get the sizes we needed in. I'm not even talking 4, 5, 6x, I am talking 2,3x. My story isn't unusual. Its nice you have it better over there, but then again that's not over here.



I guess in that case certain items of clothing have to be budgeted for out of a person's own income however small it may be.

Coats are a necessity.

Certain items of clothing may need to be tailor made, so other areas in a person's budget have to be cut back on.


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 24, 2011)

I've never been able to find much at the Salvation Army & Goodwill type thrift stores, but there's lots of really nice consignment shops around here and they all carry plus sizes. There isn't a ton of trendy stuff though.. I consign with a few and almost everything I bring gets bought immediately, probably because there isn't much in the way of Torrid and such being sold. It works out for me though because I get bored of clothes quickly & it helps to get a little bit of cash back.


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## shuefly pie (Jan 24, 2011)

cinnamitch said:


> Well the thrift store in my town is fairly large and well stocked since we have a lot of customers due to it being a University town. I volunteered there as a receptionist/ intake coordinator and knew exactly what came in. In the two years i volunteered we never received any item of womens clothing larger than a size 2x.( and that was like maybe 10 items in the whole 2 years). We would get phone calls from various agencies and desperate women in the area asking if we had clothing for plus size clients. The workforce center would try to provide clothing for people to do job interviews if they did not have any. Most of the items were from our shop. There were a lot of people who were not able to get clothing even for job interviews because we just didn't get the sizes we needed in. I'm not even talking 4, 5, 6x, I am talking 2,3x. My story isn't unusual. Its nice you have it better over there, but then again that's not over here.


That doesn't surprise me. 

When all hell broke loose after Katrina and the government started relocating people en masse here, well-intentioned folks donated clothes in droves. The sheer volume almost paralyzed the part of the operation responsible for accepting donations. Processing the clothing quickly became a 24 hour gig. However, the biggest challenge ended up being finding items suitable for the people in need. Most of the women I serviced were on the larger end of "Ladies" sizes and I think it would be safe to estimate that the number of "Plus-Size" clients was larger still. We had practically nothing for these women. Tons, literally tons, of clothing came in, but only a tiny fraction of it was size 14 and up. If those sizes were hard to come by in a situation where so much clothing was coming in, it's not hard to believe that they are in short supply under normal circumstances.


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## Aust99 (Jan 24, 2011)

shuefly pie said:


> That doesn't surprise me.
> 
> When all hell broke loose after Katrina and the government started relocating people en masse here, well-intentioned folks donated clothes in droves. The sheer volume almost paralyzed the part of the operation responsible for accepting donations. Processing the clothing quickly became a 24 hour gig. However, the biggest challenge ended up being finding items suitable for the people in need. Most of the women I serviced were on the larger end of "Ladies" sizes and I think it would be safe to estimate that the number of "Plus-Size" clients was larger still. We had practically nothing for these women. Tons, literally tons, of clothing came in, but only a tiny fraction of it was size 14 and up. If those sizes were hard to come by in a situation where so much clothing was coming in, it's not hard to believe that they are in short supply under normal circumstances.



I'm about to drop off three large bags of clothing to the local charity store... sizes 22 - 26 so hopefully it helps a few people in my community... I made sure there are some tops suitable for job interviews and everything... 

But I'm not giving away my coat..... too hard to find a replacement. Even in my countries milder winter.


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## Famouslastwords (Jan 24, 2011)

Aust99 said:


> I'm about to drop off three large bags of clothing to the local charity store... sizes 22 - 26 so hopefully it helps a few people in my community... I made sure there are some tops suitable for job interviews and everything...
> *
> But I'm not giving away my coat..... too hard to find a replacement. Even in my countries milder winter.*




LOL You know I love you right?


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## Shosh (Jan 24, 2011)

Aust99 said:


> I'm about to drop off three large bags of clothing to the local charity store... sizes 22 - 26 so hopefully it helps a few people in my community... I made sure there are some tops suitable for job interviews and everything...
> 
> But I'm not giving away my coat..... too hard to find a replacement. Even in my countries milder winter.



That would depened upon which part of the country you live in.

It is a lot warmer in Townsville in the winter than it would be in Hobart.

My father lives in Launceston, and it is very cold there in the winter. They also have a cooler summer.


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## shuefly pie (Jan 24, 2011)

Aust99 said:


> But I'm not giving away my coat..... too hard to find a replacement. Even in my countries milder winter.


Well! Just be that way then! 



I'm sure your community will benefit from your generosity.


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## Tracyarts (Jan 24, 2011)

" Also, the thrift stores by you have plus-size racks? That is really a pretty great achievement and step in the right direction, in itself. "

One chain of a half dozen large thrift stores in my area has a separate section with tags labeled "Q" for "Queen Size". This is where they stock size 1X and above. Which is great because at least you are narrowed down to four 20 foot long racks instead of more than a dozen of them. Most items in that section range from a size 1X to a 3X. Out of 80 feet of rack space packed so tight that you can barely slide hangers apart on the racks, there will be hundreds of garments in a size 1-3X, maybe a handful of items in a size 4X and possibly one garment of some kind on a 5X or beyond. But usually not even one. 

Tracy


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## butch (Jan 24, 2011)

shuefly pie said:


> That doesn't surprise me.
> 
> When all hell broke loose after Katrina and the government started relocating people en masse here, well-intentioned folks donated clothes in droves. The sheer volume almost paralyzed the part of the operation responsible for accepting donations. Processing the clothing quickly became a 24 hour gig. However, the biggest challenge ended up being finding items suitable for the people in need. Most of the women I serviced were on the larger end of "Ladies" sizes and I think it would be safe to estimate that the number of "Plus-Size" clients was larger still. We had practically nothing for these women. Tons, literally tons, of clothing came in, but only a tiny fraction of it was size 14 and up. If those sizes were hard to come by in a situation where so much clothing was coming in, it's not hard to believe that they are in short supply under normal circumstances.



After Katrina hit I did some activism to get folks to donate plus size clothing to various organisations that I had researched on the net, after reading an online news post that women in Houston's Super Dome (or whatever it was called) were wearing garbage bags because there were no clothes in their size. In my research, I came across a company that marketed cheap plus size white collar work clothing for women to organizations that worked to move women into higher paying jobs. 

Until that point I had never thought about how hard it must be for low-income women to afford decent clothing for white collar work, and that this lack of affordable clothing directly impacts the work done to reduce poverty in US communities, since as we all know, poverty and fatness are closely correlated. As some scholars argue, the link between low-income and fatness is typically presumed to be one where lower incomes causes fatness, but instead is the other way around, fatness causes lower incomes. The inability to purchase work appropriate clothing for some fat people is just one way that I see this to be true.


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## TraciJo67 (Jan 24, 2011)

It's all so subjective, and for those who are sneering at others for not meeting a certain fashion standard, I'll say this:

I consider large plastic baubles to be the antithesis of good fashion; to me, they seem cheap and ... well, plastic. I wouldn't personally be caught dead wearing huge, "haute" pink chunky earrings or hair accessories that the average 12-year-old would find juvenile and demeaning. Hope I don't offend anyone who fits that hypothetical description; it is, after all, just my opinion.


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## shuefly pie (Jan 24, 2011)

butch said:


> After Katrina hit I did some activism to get folks to donate plus size clothing to various organisations that I had researched on the net, after reading an online news post that women in Houston's Super Dome (or whatever it was called) were wearing garbage bags because there were no clothes in their size. In my research, I came across a company that marketed cheap plus size white collar work clothing for women to organizations that worked to move women into higher paying jobs.
> 
> Until that point I had never thought about how hard it must be for low-income women to afford decent clothing for white collar work, and that this lack of affordable clothing directly impacts the work done to reduce poverty in US communities, since as we all know, poverty and fatness are closely correlated. As some scholars argue, the link between low-income and fatness is typically presumed to be one where lower incomes causes fatness, but instead is the other way around, fatness causes lower incomes. The inability to purchase work appropriate clothing for some fat people is just one way that I see this to be true.


Yep.

Are you at liberty to share the name of that company?


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## butch (Jan 24, 2011)

shuefly pie said:


> Yep.
> 
> Are you at liberty to share the name of that company?



At the time, I didn't keep track of the company's name, and I am at a loss now to think of how I found it in my google searches trying to track down non-profits in the gulf area that would gladly receive plus-size clothing donations. If I have time, I'll see if I can find it again doing some online searches.


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## one2one (Jan 24, 2011)

Dress for Success (.org) has locations world-wide that accept donations. I think often there are other organizations that are providing interview attire at a local level. A keyword search that includes your city may give you other options for places close to home that are working with people who struggle for income or are re-entering the workforce.


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## one2one (Jan 24, 2011)

TraciJo67 said:


> It's all so subjective, and for those who are sneering at others for not meeting a certain fashion standard, I'll say this:
> 
> I consider large plastic baubles to be the antithesis of good fashion; to me, they seem cheap and ... well, plastic. I wouldn't personally be caught dead wearing huge, "haute" pink chunky earrings or hair accessories that the average 12-year-old would find juvenile and demeaning. Hope I don't offend anyone who fits that hypothetical description; it is, after all, just my opinion.



:bow: Why must I have more characters? It was perfectly to the point.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jan 25, 2011)

Just for the record, Woman Within and Roamans are NOT comparable to Macys.....they are more like walmart quality! And when you compare what thinner women pay for walmart clothes, we are paying out the nose. Fo sho!

As for frumpyness, fuck it. I do see a divide...the older more confident women don't care what other people think! Also, the women with partners, we have the ability to be comfy and not constantly judged as a piece of beef.

This thread has made me sad. I love knit capris and shorts and I do GASP, wear them with socks and WHITE SHOES, lol. And I look damn fine doin it!


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## Aust99 (Jan 27, 2011)

Heyyou said:


> As to friends, leave happyface83 alone. She is a real woman.


As opposed to a fake woman?? 


I don't see how this is relevant....


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## penguin (Jan 27, 2011)

Aust99 said:


> As opposed to a fake woman??
> 
> 
> I don't see how this is relevant....



Hey, second time in what, a week? that most of us have been called fake women here!


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## Mishty (Jan 27, 2011)

Aust99 said:


> I don't see how this is relevant....



He means attractive, she's real because she is attractive. Sexy women are realer than other women, duh.


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## Aust99 (Jan 27, 2011)

Mishty said:


> He means attractive, she's real because she is attractive. Sexy women are realer than other women, duh.



OH!!! Thanks.. that clears it up 


:doh:


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## BeaBea (Jan 27, 2011)

I rarely post on Dimensions any more but still read an awful lot of it. To me this statement is offensive:



Shosh said:


> I love being fat, but for me, when I get to the point where I can no longer fit into cute clothes, I pull back a bit.



Thats the same rubbish message that is shoved at me by Doctors, The Media, well meaning friends and family and random strangers in the street - and it genuinely IS what they think. They believe that all my weight issues could be resolved if only I could pull back - and its rubbish. If it was that easy then hundreds of the men and women on this site wouldn't be facing prejudice and discrimination in the workplace, in social settings and on the street. 

If we cant 'just pull back a bit' enough to address the real issues we face, such as earning less on average than our thinner colleagues, how on earth could we manage it to fit into 'cute' clothing? I fully expect to see such specious crap in every corner of the net but I am very disappointed to see such rubbish spouted here. I rarely report posts to the Ops for being offensive but in this case I did it without any hesitation.

You stated that your views are your own opinion, and I can accept that. My opinion is that there are ways to make yourself feel good without making other people feel bad and I sincerely hope that you can stop making such ridiculous pronouncements and find a way to do so. 

Tracey


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## ThatFatGirl (Jan 27, 2011)

BeaBea said:


> I rarely post on Dimensions any more but still read an awful lot of it. To me this statement is offensive:
> 
> 
> 
> ...





Thank you for posting this, Tracey. I wonder if she'll ever understand though.


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## BeaBea (Jan 27, 2011)

ThatFatGirl said:


> Thank you for posting this, Tracey. I wonder if she'll ever understand though.



I'd be delighted to see a rational defence of 'pull back a bit' as a tried, tested and universally foolproof method of weight control. Experience suggests however that I'm more likely to be labelled as being jealous of other more confident women. I guess we will see...

Tracey xx


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## butch (Jan 27, 2011)

This thread is being closed while the mods decide if it can re-open, and if changes need to be made to the thread in order to re-open it. Thank you for your understanding.

-Butch,
main board co-mod


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## butch (Jan 28, 2011)

We've removed posts that were way off topic and divisive, as well as all the responses to off topic posts, and will not be re-opening the thread.

Thank you for your understanding,
Butch
co-mod, Main Board


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