# FAs and being thin



## Gendo Ikari (Apr 10, 2009)

I must admit, I have an eating disorder. I over exercise and go without eating all day, only to eat at night. I'm wondering if other FAs have this mentality that, they must be thin and fit. Or something. Just a thought that has popped into my head from time to time.


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## Durin (Apr 10, 2009)

I know I don't. For whatever reason I think that FA's tend to come in two varieties, skinny and not so skinny.

The Skinny one's have metabolism's that would never allow them to become fat, at least that's my theory.

:bow:


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## succubus_dxb (Apr 10, 2009)

Gendo Ikari said:


> I must admit, I have an eating disorder. I over exercise and go without eating all day, only to eat at night. I'm wondering if other FAs have this mentality that, they must be thin and fit. Or something. Just a thought that has popped into my head from time to time.



I don't think this is anything to do with being an FA or not being an FA. If you don't have a healthy relationship with food and your body, I suggest you talk to your doctor- couldn't do you any harm 

Good luck :kiss2:


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## The Fat Man (Apr 10, 2009)

Durin said:


> I know I don't. For whatever reason I think that FA's tend to come in two varieties, skinny and not so skinny.
> 
> The Skinny one's have metabolism's that would never allow them to become fat, at least that's my theory.
> 
> :bow:



I guess that makes me the third category.

A fat 'FA' that want to be skinny. I've been fat all my life, this last year was the first year I've ever ended it smaller than I started it. I'm around three hundred now, ideally if I could just snap my fingers I'd be around two hundred.

Dieting is a bitch though.


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## Melian (Apr 10, 2009)

Definitely not an FA thing, see 2 posts above ^

However, I DO feel compelled to stay very thin, simply because it is my partner's preference - he has zero interest in fat women (as I have zero interest in thin men). Currently, it is very easy for me to maintain a low weight, but I would be willing to change my lifestyle if I started to gain. I feel that it's only fair, since he purposely does not diet to please me.


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## CCC (Apr 10, 2009)

Durin said:


> I know I don't. For whatever reason I think that FA's tend to come in two varieties, skinny and not so skinny.



Well I think I'd be an exception there, unless "positively average" is included in not-so skinny.

To answer the topic question, I'm definitely not "skinny" (Case in point, the other day my two skinny male friends, female friend, and myself were talking about how they say it's healthier to be a bit overweight than extremely underweight, and the girl joked, "Yeah Eric and Ian- you guys had better be careful." It wasn't a funny joke, but I, not being Eric nor Ian, paused for a second and gave her a dirty look. You had to be there.), *TANGENT OVER* but I have periods of compulsive exercising and very strange eating habits. I very often eat a granola bar for breakfast, skip lunch, and have some tiny crappy cafeteria meal for dinner. Ridiculously low metabolism I guess.

I'm definitely a bit sensitive about my own weight though, and would never want to gain (fat that is, muscle is fine).


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## steely (Apr 10, 2009)

I'm not thin at all and have no desire to be so.I like big men but have found few that are interested in BBW.This is my own experience.I'm not saying they're not out there,I just haven't run across one.Most of the big guys I see are with small or average women.


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## The Orange Mage (Apr 10, 2009)

I am very very thin but it's not by choice. I let my body do whatever.


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## Jon Blaze (Apr 10, 2009)

I like to workout. That's all I can say in regards to that.

However: Is there any specific reason why you do what you do?

(And I echo that if this has reached wild levels, that you may want to see a Doctor.)


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## Cors (Apr 10, 2009)

Melian said:


> Currently, it is very easy for me to maintain a low weight, but I would be willing to change my lifestyle if I started to gain.



This. I love my wardrobe too much! 

I love the looks and feel of fat, but I know that it wouldn't look right on me. I also really enjoy but cannot stomach foods that are too sweet or oily, so I tend to live vicariously through my partner. 

There is a related thread posted in the BHM/FFA forum a while back that you might find useful. Take care.


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## altered states (Apr 10, 2009)

I've always had this ideal in my mind of thin man/fat woman even though I've always been on the chunky side. Funny thing is I managed to lose 30 pounds and start getting in shape only when I came close to embracing my plumpness a few years ago. I've got a fairly big frame so thinness ain't gonna happen, but I'm slowly replacing my pudge with harder stuff. The GF likes it so we all win.

I wrote a long-ass post a while back about being kind of guilty that I lost weight while my GF had been gaining. Like, she should embrace her fat while I'm trying to get rid of mine. 

Okay, so yeah, I'm a little conflicted.


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## JoeFA (Apr 10, 2009)

It's odd cause i try to stay as fit as possible, but generally fail cause im too lazy. If i didn't eat as much as i did it wouldn't be so difficult i guess, and if i could be bothered more, so im like at the point where im fairly fit/athletic but with a bit of fat and flab, which to be honest i'd prefer to be rid of. I just don't think it looks good on me. It just tends to look better on women. Much better.


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## Ben from England (Apr 11, 2009)

Mentioned this in another post, but for me this is one of the biggest perks when it comes to being an FA.

My deal - 

I was a fat kid, probably around 300lbs at my heaviest, until I was 16/17 years old. When I was younger I was pretty content. Despite a few mixed messages from my Dad, as a family we are or have been pretty big and are mostly accepting of that state. I just 'liked my food' and 'had broad shoulders', and I was fine as I was (apart from some of the standard traumatizing visits to the doctor, in which my parents were run through an awful guilt trip and I was told that I was grossly obese and needed to get on a diet, and that kind of thing). 

Something changed when I hit my teens though. I became tremendously ashamed of the way my body looked. More so, even though I was an FA through and through, I hated and resented the fact that I wasn't deemed datable and never received that kind of attention from girls, skinny or fat. By the time I was sixteen I had begun taking measures to change myself. Drastic measures. The weight fell off. Within about 7 months I went from 300lbs to about 180lbs. I look back now and it shocks me that no one was worried or questioned what the hell was going on. On the contrary, I was given positive reinforcement. And I became more datable. I got more attention. I began pulling more. 

The thing is, whilst I liked the fact I was receiving this attention, it was motivated by this superficial need to appear successful and attractive. I wasn't any happier. I resented the fact that I wasn't good enough before. And the attention was never about sex or anything of the type, it didn't matter if I was attracted to the girl, it was just about the attention. Even in my new body, I was still the same guy. I would never have taken my shirt off in front of anyone. I would never have let anyone touch any skin covered by clothes. When I would look at my body in the mirror, it was my enemy and I was looking for the next part of it to try and harden up or eliminate. 

Being an FA, I had come across lots of size acceptance literature. The essays, the posts, the poems. I had been reading this stuff since I was 12. The strange thing is, I almost realised what I was doing in regards to my weight wouldn't really solve anything, but I couldn't help it. As the years went by, I tried to take on more of what I read, the stuff that made sense to me, and focus less on my weight, to generally not let it be such a factor in my life and self image. 

I was older by the time I entered the community properly, and I think I had a better idea of who I was. But actually hanging out with confident fat people that weren't ashamed of their size and didn't let it dominate their lives has helped me so much in coming to terms with how I approach my own body image. It permeates. If I had not been an FA I would never have had such exposure to the concept of size acceptance. I'd still be stood in that mirror, figuring out how I could improve upon my unacceptable body, rather than just getting on with life.

If there is one thing that I have taken from this community and my orientation (is that what we're calling it today?) it's that being fat is not a bad thing. Personally, I like the way my body looks better when I'm thinner, I enjoying gyming it up, but if I put on a few here and there, meh. 

So, FA = bonus.


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## SoliloquyOfaSiren (Apr 11, 2009)

Gendo Ikari said:


> I must admit, I have an eating disorder. I over exercise and go without eating all day, only to eat at night. I'm wondering if other FAs have this mentality that, they must be thin and fit. Or something. Just a thought that has popped into my head from time to time.




Please seek help dear...

And yes I can relate. I've struggled with anorexia and bulimia on and off since I was round 10 or 11. Like you...I don't know where it came from. I find large women attractive. the only thing therapy has presented as a possible source was growing up, eating anything slightly unhealthy or in more what my mom considered a healthy portion was looked very down upon (I was very heavy as a kid). And even now after years of therapy, rehab, hospital stays, and counseling....I still feel guilty when I eat. I can't stand it...it's good in the moment but not after.

Many people on the site actually do have eating disorders as well dear. I'm sure youll find that you are not alone in this state of mind. There are alot of people on here that struggle with compulsive overeating and many of the FFA's and FA's on here are recovered bulimics/anorexics etc...try talking to any of them for advice. 

I rly do wish for you to seek help. Mine wnt by unnoticed for only a little over a year....and I'm still not anywhere near a place where I can feel comfortable with myself eating nearly anything. Take care. I'll be here if you need to talk...and I know many others on this board will be willing to support you as well.

Best of luck,
Audrey


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## exile in thighville (Apr 11, 2009)

i like the contrast. i don't have a problem with the objective idea of me getting fat, except that a) i don't think i personally would look good...my features are very angular and i don't see places that could really curve and mesh successfully and b) i'd assume whatever girl i'd end up with would be disappointed that i didn't try to retain the body she's attracted to, just like how i'd be if she slimmed down.

not to harp on the OP's personal business and echo everyone else, but if you're able to identify yourself as having a disorder of any kind, you should seek help. you might always have body image issues but you can get help and support minimizing them. it's just awful to go around day to day in disgust and fear of your body. and food is good.


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## rollhandler (Apr 11, 2009)

Durin said:


> I know I don't. For whatever reason I think that FA's tend to come in two varieties, skinny and not so skinny.
> 
> The Skinny one's have metabolism's that would never allow them to become fat, at least that's my theory.
> 
> :bow:



That is me through and through. Every woman I've been with has made claims to be able to fatten me up. My response is simply....."Many have tried, ALL have failed." 

I eat like a horse, anything and everything, overeat most of the time, eat as unhealthy as it gets most of the time, and make sure I go to bed full most of the time. When i don't do these things I lose weight. I am age 40 and the most I've ever weighed in my entire life is 138lb and to top it off I am 6 ft tall and hoping for middle age spread.
Rollhandler


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## Hole (Apr 11, 2009)

I also have an ED.I've been overweight/obese and don't want to go there again. I LOVE and HATE food. I have to be careful not to talk about how "fat" I may feel or obsess over my appearance out loud because my own insecurities might make a BHM question himself and wonder if he needs to change. Sadly, I have made that mistake. The standards I set for myself are different than the standards I set for others body wise.

Like many, I enjoy the contrast.


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## SoliloquyOfaSiren (Apr 11, 2009)

Hole said:


> I also have an ED.I've been overweight/obese and don't want to go there again. I LOVE and HATE food. I have to be careful not to talk about how "fat" I may feel or obsess over my appearance out loud because my own insecurities might make a BHM question himself and wonder if he needs to change. Sadly, I have made that mistake. The standards I set for myself are different than the standards I set for others body wise.
> 
> Like many, I enjoy the contrast.



And the irony is we've ALL seen your belly dancing video....you look great dear.....PM me sometime...would love to hear how you are doing


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## sami (Apr 13, 2009)

So, um, hi. This is my first post on Dims, though I've been lurking creepily for about two years. And now I'm going to tell you some deeply personal stuff. 

I had body-image issues as a very young child despite always having been thin, and I was hospitalized for anorexia for three weeks when I was ten years old. I also discovered masturbation when I was ... oh, five or six, and for no apparent reason, I'd occasionally find myself masturbating while imagining myself gaining weight. These thoughts were so perplexing (and maybe disturbing) that I essentially ignored them except for in the moments where I was getting off. 

It took me years to realize, and then to acknowledge to myself, and then to admit to my boyfriends, that I was attracted to fat men. I wonder whether that attraction is a displacement of some sort of desire on my part to gain weight, or a vicarious enjoyment of fatness, or something like that. Or maybe eight-year-old me accidentally conditioned me to like fat by idly imagining random scenarios while jerkin' it. Or maybe I was born predisposed to both anorexia and fat fetishism* and the two are uncorrelated. Who knows?

*Disclaimer: For me, it's a fetish. Maybe it's a "lifestyle" or "preference" for you, but for me? Purely sexual. 
Other disclaimer: It is 3:30 in the morning. I hope this makes sense when I read it tomorrow.


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## SoliloquyOfaSiren (Apr 13, 2009)

That was deep dear. I hope everything is much better for you now....I can absolutely relate with you especially with the childhood part lol. Yeah I also find it extremely strange that I'm attracted to fat men, but feel that I have to be thin myself...Its something some of us FA's and FFA's will never figure out, especially the eating disordered. But once again I applaud you for being able to share this because its some heavy stuff and an issue thats hard to talk about in general, let alone a fat appreciation site. 

Rep points for you dear!!!!



sami said:


> So, um, hi. This is my first post on Dims, though I've been lurking creepily for about two years. And now I'm going to tell you some deeply personal stuff.
> 
> I had body-image issues as a very young child despite always having been thin, and I was hospitalized for anorexia for three weeks when I was ten years old. I also discovered masturbation when I was ... oh, five or six, and for no apparent reason, I'd occasionally find myself masturbating while imagining myself gaining weight. These thoughts were so perplexing (and maybe disturbing) that I essentially ignored them except for in the moments where I was getting off.
> 
> ...


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## J_Underscore (Apr 20, 2009)

smaller you are, bigger they are. simple as that, lol

I'm thin cause I have a high metabolism, I'm kinda scrawny lol. but I like thinking that big girls have EVEN MORE physical dominance over me cause I'm skinny


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## ZosofanCMR (Apr 22, 2009)

I think it's an apples and oranges situation, just because you like the way someone looks if there big, doesn't necessarily mean you are going to like being big yourself. In the end your body is your body, you have to live in it everyday, and if you want to look a certain way to be comfortable with yourself, then there ya go. In any event, some people are just built big, and others are built small. I for one couldn't be big unless I tried really really hard.


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## Duniwin (Apr 28, 2009)

I don't feel compelled to stay thin, but my metabolism seems to have a strong feeling on the matter.
It probably doesn't help my weight that I really don't like butter, dressings, sauces, and oils. I almost never bother to add them if the're not already in my food, will take the pats of butter off pancakes and such, and never eat dips or salad dressing with my vegetables. It's not that I'm trying to stay thin, I just don't like the taste/texture of buttery/oily sauces.
I guess you could say I'm the Jack Sprat of size acceptance.


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## undrcovrbrothr (Apr 28, 2009)

I am thin for someone my age despite my little belly, but I'm not going to have a problem with anyone because they say something about me. If I worried about what other people thought, I'd go nuts. However, if some people were to starve themselves like Karen Carpenter or add hundreds and hundreds of pounds that would lead to a severe condition or even death, then I would be extremely concerned and frightened. It is a two way street.... there are limits.


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## Matt (May 6, 2009)

I'm just average I'd say. I eat quite alot so I guess I must have a high metabolism, I play alot of football (soccer) with my mates so that probably helps too.


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