# "Why do you visit this board?" and other questions.



## Melian (Dec 19, 2009)

^^^ That's one question. I'm mostly wondering about the other FFAs, but BHMs are welcome to answer, too.

The reason I ask: lately, I've found that this board satisfies several of my needs that regular life just can't seem to satiate, and I want to know if others are in a similar position.

Basically, I've noticed that my fetishes for BHM and BBW are getting more extreme...but they can't be fulfilled, since I'm married, and the guy is not quite a BHM. He also says he wants nothing to do with my fantasies. :/ So pretty much every day, I find myself bouncing back and forth between the BHM, GLBT and Weight boards, as well as the library, trolling around for stimulating material. EVERY DAY. It used to be only once a week or so.

Some people have asked why I didn't just hook up with a BHM or BBW who was into all the same stuff in the first place. Well, it's just not that simple! You think I didn't try?? There's a long list of qualities that I absolutely need in a partner (and I'm a fucking weird chick, so the qualities are weird too), and there have only been 2-3 people who have ever possessed a significant number of them - "fat" and "loves having their fat groped" never seem to accompany any of the other stuff! Why this happens, I have no idea....anyone care to shed some light?

So another question: do you (FFAs, gay FAs) find that it's more difficult to find a fat guy who has your ideal personality/interests/style/etc? It's infinitely harder, for me. I like lists, so here are the issues in list format:

1. There's this specific "look" of a guy's face that drives me wild - thin guys (and my husband) sometimes have it, but fat guys rarely ever do. 

2. Over the years, I have found many thin guys who have my EXACT taste in music.....but zero fat guys.

3. It's often a good idea to meet potential partners in the places you frequent, right? Yeah...no fat guys there. I have had several regular haunts, and the only fat guys I found tended to be "that fat guy." You know, the creepy one who lives in his mom's basement and doesn't bathe? Yeah, him.

4. The best looking fat guys had BBW girlfriends, and didn't appear to be interested in thin women (happened soooooo many times). So no chance to even find out if we were compatible.

5. I have worked with a few REALLY attractive fat guys in various labs over the years. Problem is, once their lab coats come off, they are wearing clothes that are totally unappealing to me, and when they stop talking science (our commonality), we have nothing in common (and they bore me). Or they were religious, which I don't even get, coming from scientists!

6. The few fat guys who were hot, clean, and into decent music/movies/games/etc DID NOT WANT TO BE TOUCHED. At all. You can kiss them, and they want to fuck you....but somehow, in the process, your hands must stay off anything between the neck and the cock. WTF? I can't live like that.

Ok, this is turning out to be the longest post in my Dims history, but it's been in the making for years. Do you FFAs get what I'm saying, or am I the only freak who dealt with these problems? I know I'm off the market and none of this technically matters anymore...but it still annoys me to remember the years of futile searching, disappointment and rejection.

If you read all of this - thanks! (even more thanks if you have some answers!)


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## djudex (Dec 19, 2009)

Melian said:


> Why do you visit this board?



Honestly the main reason I'm on this board is the kick I get out of being appreciated as a piece of meat instead of being appreciated for my mind. Strange but true. Perhaps it's more a case of me not being able to recognize subtle 'chick diggin' it' signals but there really doesn't seem to be a lot of FFAs in my area. If I could find a gal that would love my brain and body around here that would be pretty sweet but I'm not going to hold my breath on that one.



> So another question: do you (FFAs, gay FAs) find that it's more difficult to find a fat guy who has your ideal personality/interests/style/etc?



I'm neither an FFA not a gay FA so I can't really answer this one but as stated above it's fairly difficult from the other persepctive as well. Finding someone I like who also likes having an ogre around the house is pretty difficult to say the least.


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## jdwhitak (Dec 19, 2009)

I've been a member here for quite a while now. I do a lot more lurking than posting. Anyways, I come here for a little confidence boost now and then. I've not had much luck in the dating world. It's reassuring to know that there are women out there, albeit a small number of them, that like bigger men. 

Just of curiosity Melian, what kind of stuff are you into?


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## Melian (Dec 19, 2009)

djudex said:


> Honestly the main reason I'm on this board is the kick I get out of being appreciated as a piece of meat instead of being appreciated for my mind. Strange but true.





jdwhitak said:


> I've been a member here for quite a while now. I do a lot more lurking than posting. Anyways, I come here for a little confidence boost now and then. I've not had much luck in the dating world. It's reassuring to know that there are women out there, albeit a small number of them, that like bigger men.



I hear ya. Sometimes you just want to feel hot...regardless of how awesome you may be, otherwise. 



jdwhitak said:


> Just of curiosity Melian, what kind of stuff are you into?



Music: hard industrial, techno, black/power metal, some grunge and punk

Job-related: I'm a molecular biologist and barely ever see a fat scientist, except the really old ones. And I spend A LOT of time at work - it's Saturday and I'm at work right now.

Lifestyle: atheist, heavily tattooed, sometimes androgynous-looking, likes to go raving, old school console gaming, hanging out at goth/punk bars and fet clubs, cosplaying, zombie walks, urban exploring p), and designing tattoos for fun and profit. I have a very dark sense of humour and tend to offend a lot of people.

Ideal man: shares MOST or all of these interests. Physically, would be taller than I am when I wear my huge boots (so > 6'1), the fatter the better and into feeding/fat fetishism, tattooed, rivethead, likes lizards...

I know guys like that exist, but I've never really met one who was into me. And like I said, I've found a few who were nearly perfect for me, but the missing factor was always the fatness or fat acceptance.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 19, 2009)

I visit this board for the same reason I visit most of the other boards: I like some of the people here and it's fun.


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## Cors (Dec 19, 2009)

You're not alone, I can identify with almost everything you mentioned if you tweak the details a little. :O


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## ~da rev~ (Dec 19, 2009)

I come here to whore myself out with pictures.  

Just kidding, but not really.


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## mischel (Dec 19, 2009)

I visit this dimensions board before going to sleep . [Maybe] it is because reading posts from Melian let's my pee-pee down there come out of his fat protected shuttle bay area. (I watched Star Trek Insurrection on my notebook in bed, when i was reading the new posts on the bhm/ffa board. Uhhh now comes the face-skin-pulling-up scene... ^^)

To be more spezific: normal (Internet) porn is just dumb and lame for me. Porn stopped being interessting for me when they dropped oldschool Schulmädchen Report (1970-1980) from the german TV!
I love to search the dimensions board to find new or very horny s*xual fantasies and stories.

Furthermore i try to increase my english knowledge by reading escapists posts. I still cant read between the lines very good. (escapist = cool guy & role model )

About the music problem: I'm going on nearly every Industrial/Rhythm'n'Noise & EBM event in my hometown. I never found a girl even looking at me. Fat guys and the Goth-scene is like the Infinite Improbability Drive for Starship Enterprise.
So i sit alone in the disco watching skinny goth chicks dance to Straftanz, wishing the DJ may play some Haus Arafna finally.

Later in bed i try to remember my mind-pictures of these hot skinny gothics/cybers or i visit the dimensions board and read some of Melian's post again ;D.


Live long and prosper!



Santa's fattest brother: Michael


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## Jackoblangada (Dec 19, 2009)

Honestly....not really sure anymore.


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## stldpn (Dec 19, 2009)

Melian said:


> ^^^ That's one question. I'm mostly wondering about the other FFAs, but BHMs are welcome to answer, too.
> 
> The reason I ask: lately, I've found that this board satisfies several of my needs that regular life just can't seem to satiate, and I want to know if others are in a similar position.
> 
> ...



I can only speak to the last of your concerns... I can't claim hotness. But I spend a reasonable amount of time taking care of myself. BHMs and BBWs may be accepted by their peers but we're not often encouraged to think of ourselves as sexy. For me, allowing someone to rub my belly is a big thing it's literally the softest most vulnerable part of me. For years I veiwed it as the thing women would be ost likely to reject. So, assumptions get made, walls get built, it takes a lot more than a passing fancy to convince a man that it's ok 
Lastly, I'm going to say something that a lot of people probably won't agree with. If you ever think the internet begins to take time away from other obligations you should think about talking to someone proffessionally. Addiction to pornography is a lot more common than you think


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## Koldun (Dec 20, 2009)

Melian said:


> ^^^ That's one question. I'm mostly wondering about the other FFAs, but BHMs are welcome to answer, too.
> 
> The reason I ask: lately, I've found that this board satisfies several of my needs that regular life just can't seem to satiate, and I want to know if others are in a similar position.
> 
> ...



Firstly I empathize with you. My wife has had trouble with anorexia. (However you spell it.) My interests in this area have really helped her with that though! 

That said - she still isn't in to the idea of trying to gain weight or even pretending too (either of us.) 

Your husband doesn't like your fantasies at all? He won't play at all?

Is your hubby in to the same types of things you are music, goth clubs, etc?

Would your husband have a problem with you finding other partners? 

You seem to have REALLY high standards. Has to dress the way you like him too, make the right facial movements, like the exact same kinds of music, etc. 

Because if you did find someone with all these specifications, it sounds like you'd leave your husband.

I'm just echoing what I'm hearing.

It sounds like what you want is a complete and total soul mate. Which everyone does. 

The odds of you finding the type of guy that meets all of these standards is very small. I fear the only thing can do is decide which of your standards are most important and dump most of the rest. 

It's possible that men you approach are picking up on your high standards and getting scaried. Even if you don't say them outloud, the way you act and how you carry yourself might be intimidating to the guys you're approaching.

Also note that a lot of fat men don't like the way they look. When a woman hits on me, my first two thoughts are #1 - what does she want from me? and #2 - she's playing some kind of a joke. "She actually finds me attractive" is probably the last thought that will come to mind. 

So you are probably going to have to get to know them first. 

If they do find you attractive, they're probably not going to tell you to your face. They might even act stand-offish or even hostile. 

Most fat men are with the women they have because no one else would ask them out. Not all fat guys, but more than would like to admit.

Also remember that they're people. They're just as weird, strange, lacking confidence and have quirks and standards just like everyone else. There is no universal one size fits all answer to hitting on BHMs, just like there is no one universal way to hit on any other group. A lot of them don't like being heavy, they're just too lazy or can't lose the weight. BHMs who like it are a very rare minority. The thought of someone liking it is foreign to a lot of people. The thought of celebrating it would be considered extreme by many. Even the fat guys.

Thus - you run the risk of bringing up something they're ashamed of when you're being intimate and they're vulnerable.

Most people aren't happy with their sex lives. If I had a solution for that, I'd be a millionaire.


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## djudex (Dec 20, 2009)

> Most people aren't happy with their sex lives. If I had a solution for that, I'd be a millionaire.



The world needs professional sexuals, it's about high time people got over those pesky old world inhibitions about paying for good service :shocked: I wonder what the stock symbol would be for that company... "NOW TRADING S.E.X. on the floor at 123 and 3/4"


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## rabbitislove (Dec 20, 2009)

djudex said:


> Honestly the main reason I'm on this board is the kick I get out of being appreciated as a piece of meat instead of being appreciated for my mind.



Thats serendipity for you  I come here to say all the things I can't in real life with any partner (as other BHMs on this board have mentioned, for obvious reasons). I get it out of my system here, and am probably more forward since Im not in a serious relationship right now (kind of that friends with benefits deal), so I can get away with it  

I agree with Melian. It gets frustrating trying to repress it and not being able to compliment fat parts of guys. While I understand why and how difficult it is to be a person of size in our current culture right now, we FFAs fear rejection as much as you do. I think this board helps eliminate the fear of saying it face to face.

I also come to post hot fat guys, talk to cool chicks who also dig fat guys, read pervy stories and uhmmmm....look at pictures of topless hot fat guys. (But only the ones with faces. Headless belly pictures aren't doin' it).


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## Laina (Dec 20, 2009)

I'm only here for the pictures. And to make occasional sarcastic remarks.


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## 99Haints (Dec 20, 2009)

I've struggled with some similar things. Kind of as a parallel to some of your issues, I've always had this kink for having my fat grabbed, poked, or being teased about it by girls since before even kindergarden. In fact, nothing turns me on more. This desire goes well beyond "acceptance", and is a little difficult to describe to a new person because of the weirdness (and inherent comedy) of it. I feel like it puts me into a weird sub-group of something that is already kind of a subculture. 

While I've been lucky enough to meet girls who enjoy this kind of thing, I've also had it received as if it were a bizarre masocistic impulse I needed to be talked out of, which caused some very awkward, uncomfortable situations. It made me feel it was a desire I needed to reign in, rather than explore, and kept me from even really lurking on these boards for almost a year. Not because I think it's unhealthy, but that it's unrealistic to place it so high in the qualities I seek, and the FFAs I've encounters were more exceptions than the rule. I also feared letting a fetish take the lead in regards to my personal relationships. I've become less nervous about it lately because that itch is getting happily scratched, and I enjoy alot of the non-sexual discussion that goes on here, too, so I've come back, with maybe just a little personal caution...


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## Sir Shrek (Dec 20, 2009)

Well for me its a place where i feel i have a chance for the women of this site to find me attractive, as ive had as much luck dating wise in the last few years as trying to fly a lead balloon.
Also i like the fact that people dont judge me because of my weight.How many times have you known for a fact that someone is looking down at you for no ther reason than weight.And i just dont feel that way here so there it is in a nutshell.


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## Melian (Dec 20, 2009)

I appreciate all the responses, but really feel I need to respond to these two:



stldpn said:


> I can only speak to the last of your concerns... I can't claim hotness. But I spend a reasonable amount of time taking care of myself. BHMs and BBWs may be accepted by their peers but we're not often encouraged to think of ourselves as sexy. For me, allowing someone to rub my belly is a big thing it's literally the softest most vulnerable part of me. For years I veiwed it as the thing women would be ost likely to reject. So, assumptions get made, walls get built, it takes a lot more than a passing fancy to convince a man that it's ok
> Lastly, I'm going to say something that a lot of people probably won't agree with. If you ever think the internet begins to take time away from other obligations you should think about talking to someone proffessionally. Addiction to pornography is a lot more common than you think





Koldun said:


> Firstly I empathize with you. My wife has had trouble with anorexia. (However you spell it.) My interests in this area have really helped her with that though!
> 
> That said - she still isn't in to the idea of trying to gain weight or even pretending too (either of us.)
> 
> ...



You guys are looking a little too deep at the post. I don't have a porn addiction (yeah, I come here too much, but only when I don't have other obligations...or even a video game available to play ), and I'm not out shopping around for a new man. 

Also, I don't think my standards are THAT high, as I've met a lot of guys who are almost there....my issue is just that I don't want to settle (and who does?). I don't want to be with someone who is basically just a friend, with no sexual attraction. On the same note, I don't want a man who is hot, but shares none of my interests - this has mostly been the case so far, husband excluded, and what I really wanted to know is if other FFAs find themselves in the same predicament. Are their personality/lifestyle requirements in a man commonly found in BHMs, or do they always have to choose. That's all.

So that was the main question in this thread (I know, the title isn't reflective...I'm sorry  ). It wasn't really a cry for help regarding my porn addiction. Hehe.


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## BLUEeyedBanshee (Dec 20, 2009)

I started coming her because first and foremost it was a place where I felt that I wasn't a weirdo.

One can only take guys looking at them like they have 2 heads for finding them hawt for so long without questioning their sanity.

I wasn't alone, and for that reason I kept coming back.

Now, I haven't really had the problem with not being able to touch, but then again, I'm kinda pushy in that way. The thing that I keep lacking no matter the relationship is the ability to look. They want to have the lights out before disrobing and that ends up being frustrating. Yeah I do get my guy to humor me occasionally. But, that's just it, it's occasionally. I wish he could see himself through my eyes, with my brain, and feel the switches that are flicked when I look at him just for a day...or even a few hours.

But yeah, I visit here, because here, I can talk about things like this and not have others think I'm a total weirdo.


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## Koldun (Dec 20, 2009)

BLUEeyedBanshee said:


> I started coming her because first and foremost it was a place where I felt that I wasn't a weirdo.
> 
> One can only take guys looking at them like they have 2 heads for finding them hawt for so long without questioning their sanity.
> 
> ...



Yeah, that too.


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## FishCharming (Dec 20, 2009)

Before coming here i had no idea that there were women turned on by fat and i'm sure most fat guys are the same. Now that i know about it, i am excited by the prospect. 

That being said: I'm very comfortable with my body. At the same time I understand that a good portion of society isn't, so i've always gone out into the dating world with the expectation of having to overcome my handicap with other things, like personality. 

Not realizing that FFAs existed the one time i did experience one was just horribly awkward for me. I always assumed that whoever i was with was attracted to me despite my fat not because of it so when i was suddenly belly-groped during sex it seemed to be more of a pointing out of my "flaw" than a sexual act. Almost like she hadn't realized how fat i was until we were mid coitus and suddenly found my gut by accident. I realize now that that wasn't what was happening but then i just felt freaked. I finished up and bailed and never talked to the girl again. I think if she had somehow managed to drop something about being a gut-lover beforehand i probably wouldn't have been so quick to bounce. 

sorry, i just realized how long and mostly off topic this was! 
i had a bunch more to say in response to your post but for the sake of everyone else on the forum i'll just stop here.


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## stldpn (Dec 20, 2009)

Melian said:


> I appreciate all the responses, but really feel I need to respond to these two:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



lol I didn't honestly look at it as a cry for help so much as some things that might need to be brought out as food for thought. Internet escapism is common and it's not all bad. If it doesn't really cut into your time in the real world, then you don't have to think about anymore.


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## Teleute (Dec 20, 2009)

Melian said:


> Job-related: I'm a molecular biologist and barely ever see a fat scientist, except the really old ones.



I'm at work and about to stain something, so I don't have time to respond properly yet, but I just wanted to throw in: THIS IS SO TRUE. God. It's almost like there's this weird competition between all the lab folk I know to see who can be more outdoorsy and active and omg super health food. When I started here I had an orientation class where you had to state your hobby, and everyone in the class had hiking, jogging, skiing, cycling, swimming, etc. I was like "uh, I play video games." <_< It's kind of odd, a lot of the nurses are quite large, but the lab people are all skinny. 

Okay, staining now


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## charlieversion2 (Dec 20, 2009)

never understood why people attach this negitive sigma to video games


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## djudex (Dec 20, 2009)

ChrisVersion2 said:


> never understood why people attach this negitive sigma to video games



Because if God had wanted us all to derive so much pleasure from playing with a sleek little box he would have made us all women.

_/grabs his running shoes_


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## WillSpark (Dec 20, 2009)

Honestly. I visited this board originally for the same reason as the majority. to feel attractive; it was new experience; and then I stayed for the people and common ground. 

As for relationships, any girl that has expressed interest in me (a surprising number to me) has been an established friendship that I had no romantic feelings for, and aside from one (as shallow as it may be) none were physically attractive to me either. As ar as tastes, I have a couple requirements and a few that have to be overlooked. I'm a weird bird.
I like lists, too so here it comes.

1. Don't be a bitch. Don't be a whore. Don't feel the need to degrade others to get a leg up.

2. Have a brain and be able to go one on one with me in intelligent discussion without making it an arguement.

3. Be able to deal with my music tastes. I'm freaky, because my personality suggests musical tastes distinctly different from what they are. Oddly, I'm awkwardly into stuff that lingers around Top 40. Not all the way there, but close enough to push me out of my friend circle's tastes.

4. Be a cynical bitch. Not a horrible person or a _real_ bitch, just a witty individual with a taste for mockery.

5. Match my sense of humor. I'm innapropriate yet smart about my joke's content most of the time. I use a lot of references. If they get the references, then we're good to go.

6. Mostly have my side in most major issues. Say, not religious, pro-equality in all of it's forms, pro-choice, etc. those arguements have ruined some otherwise great relationships.

7. Just in general share most of my interests or at least get them enough to not nag me about them.

Plus I always have an excuse of not being in a relationship. My recent one is because I plan to get out of my current location as soon as possible, plus I'm pretty sure I have a fear of commitment.


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## prettysteve (Dec 20, 2009)

I just love the Big Booty's , Big Butts,Big Cankles ,Big Arms,Big Feet and pretty faces of each and every one of these Big Beautiful Ladies featured on Dims.


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## extra_fat_guy (Dec 21, 2009)

I still visit, and post pictures because its like a drug, or a habit that I can not give up. I love reading the comments about my pics because I don't hear those things any where else. At times I love this place, and other times it brings up bad memories. Over all I come back here because I do have people on here I can talk to if I need to, and to post pics for the beautiful women.


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## chicken legs (Dec 21, 2009)

Melian, I'm going to send Escapist to you so you can get squished..or you can come here..lol and then you'll feel better..lol

Seriously, I have never found a person of interest within my circle of friends and co-workers and I try not to ...you know..to avoid the drama. 

As of now..I avoid looking the gift horse in the mouth when it comes to my relationship with E. However, in the past, I have scared a few SSBHM's/SSBHW (or just big folks in general) with my hungry stare and likewise been scared of their hungry stare....lol.

Anywho...big squishy hugs..things will work out.

OH I forgot to answer the question...I cum here because I love to read erotic stories, to understand the objects of my desire, and to understand my sexuality. Its just so cool I can do that on one site.


Weird chicks UNITE..lol


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## Discodave (Dec 21, 2009)

I come for the free food and beer.


Wait what do you mean theres no beer
*Sulks in the corner*


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## Melian (Dec 21, 2009)

stldpn said:


> lol I didn't honestly look at it as a cry for help so much as some things that might need to be brought out as food for thought. Internet escapism is common and it's not all bad. If it doesn't really cut into your time in the real world, then you don't have to think about anymore.



No worries. Just wanted to make sure we were clear :happy:



Teleute said:


> I'm at work and about to stain something, so I don't have time to respond properly yet, but I just wanted to throw in: THIS IS SO TRUE. God. It's almost like there's this weird competition between all the lab folk I know to see who can be more outdoorsy and active and omg super health food. When I started here I had an orientation class where you had to state your hobby, and everyone in the class had hiking, jogging, skiing, cycling, swimming, etc. I was like "uh, I play video games." <_< It's kind of odd, a lot of the nurses are quite large, but the lab people are all skinny.
> 
> Okay, staining now



I know, right!!! There are two blackbelts in this lab; one girl organized a "lab volleyball league" and bugs the shit out of me to join; another was a competitive cyclist; everyone else plays in the goddamn volleyball league AND a soccer league AND they all go camping together in the summer and skiing all winter. I'm like wtf, stop being such douchebags. 



djudex said:


> Because if God had wanted us all to derive so much pleasure from playing with a sleek little box he would have made us all women.
> 
> _/grabs his running shoes_



Ha! The only box this woman is enjoying is her PS3 (no...wait....I sort of hate that thing....I am enjoying no box).



WillSpark said:


> As for relationships, any girl that has expressed interest in me (a surprising number to me) has been an established friendship that I had no romantic feelings for, and aside from one (as shallow as it may be) none were physically attractive to me either. As ar as tastes, I have a couple requirements and a few that have to be overlooked. I'm a weird bird.
> I like lists, too so here it comes.



Your list makes perfect sense to me - it's pretty similar to the emotional stuff I demand. Why do you think that every seemingly appropriate woman ends up pulling that "friend" business on you? You say you fear commitment, so are you perhaps sabotaging yourself? In my case, it's really more black and white - physical desires and emotional desires never co-exist for unknown reasons.



chicken legs said:


> Melian, I'm going to send Escapist to you so you can get squished..or you can come here..lol and then you'll feel better..lol
> 
> Seriously, I have never found a person of interest within my circle of friends and co-workers and I try not to ...you know..to avoid the drama.
> 
> ...



This was an enjoyable post....we sound pretty similar. And you know, I think it's time you WROTE a story.


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## Tad (Dec 21, 2009)

BLUEeyedBanshee said:


> I started coming her because first and foremost it was a place where I felt that I wasn't a weirdo.





Melian said:


> The reason I ask: lately, I've found that this board satisfies several of my needs that regular life just can't seem to satiate, and I want to know if others are in a similar position.
> 
> Basically, I've noticed that my fetishes for BHM and BBW are getting more extreme...but they can't be fulfilled, since I'm married, and the guy is not quite a BHM. He also says he wants nothing to do with my fantasies. :/ So pretty much every day, I find myself bouncing back and forth between the BHM, GLBT and Weight boards, as well as the library, trolling around for stimulating material. EVERY DAY. It used to be only once a week or so.



What I've quoted pretty much sums it up for me. At first it was just great to find a place where liking fat/liking being fat was not completely strange, but over time as those likes have had less and less place in most of my life, Dimensions has become more and more my haven for them.

Also: my experience is more with engineers than scientists, but very few are fat. Enough get somewhat chunky once they are married and have kids, but in the companies that I've worked in, the few truly fat people (of either gender) were mostly non-technical support staff (purchasing, accounting, etc). I've come to conclude that there must literally be something about the sort of mind that gets an engineering degree that just does not lend itself to letting oneself get fat for some reason.

(Way back when I was in university it seemed to me that the one technical field where you saw more fat people was computer science, not sure how it is now).


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## Melian (Dec 21, 2009)

Tad said:


> (Way back when I was in university it seemed to me that the one technical field where you saw more fat people was computer science, not sure how it is now).



That's still the case, from what I've seen. Except statisticians and bioinformaticians, although they are computer scientists, do not fit the trend. Figures....I work with a bunch of them, and they are thinner than I am.....not fair.

But yeah, there's just something about scientists that keeps most of us really thin. From a PhD student's perspective, it could be the very long hours, very low pay (if you're not eating, you're not gaining....), high activity levels in lab (I run back and forth between hospitals, carry a lot of heavy reagents, have to lift equipment, etc), plus I think a lot of people in the medical sci fields are "health conscious" (read: obsessed) individuals in the first place.


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## WillSpark (Dec 21, 2009)

Melian said:


> Your list makes perfect sense to me - it's pretty similar to the emotional stuff I demand. Why do you think that every seemingly appropriate woman ends up pulling that "friend" business on you? You say you fear commitment, so are you perhaps sabotaging yourself? In my case, it's really more black and white - physical desires and emotional desires never co-exist for unknown reasons.



Nah. If anything, I'm the one pullign friend business on them. I want to be friends when they show interest. And I think I do sabotage myself. I get scared and look for the way out while in the open I'm pretty willing to flirt without realizing it. I'm sure I screw myself up more than anyone else could. 
You at least know that if you find one with your desired physical characteristics in one of the locations that there aren't any, then he'll be a rare one, I suppose. Wish I could help more.


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## Esther (Dec 21, 2009)

djudex said:


> The world needs professional sexuals, it's about high time people got over those pesky old world inhibitions about paying for good service :shocked: I wonder what the stock symbol would be for that company... "NOW TRADING S.E.X. on the floor at 123 and 3/4"



I totally agree with this. If someone wants to sell sex and another person wants to buy it, what is the fucking problem? Not to mention that the sex trade would be way safer for everyone involved if it were legal.


And Melian, I can really relate to your post in a lot of ways. For me, the main reason I started visiting this board is because it helped me to feel less ashamed about my sexuality. I didn't recieve much sexual education as a kid so I never fully understood myself in that way... and it didn't help that I wasn't attracted to the typical sort of guy. I can remember being a little girl and praying to God to take away the feelings I was having because I didn't know how to deal with them. I was feeling attracted to fat grown men in their twenties and thirties when I was in first and second grade. Since there was obviously no way I could act upon that, I just started doing what felt natural at a very young age... and then when I found out this was called MASTURBATING I was absolutely horrified! I was doing something I wasn't even allowed to say (this was like a swear word in school and at home). Dating when I got older was futile too, since most of the highschool boys were hairless and twiggy, and all the guys I wanted to date were way out of my age range (me being the ugliest duckling in the pond didn't help either). I'm sure you can all see why this path led to me feeling ashamed about my sexuality for the longest time.
Anyway... as I got older and the age gap closed and I could finally date the type of guys I was interested in, I found that I was still getting some negative reactions ("you like fat dudes? omg wtf") so when I was feeling particularly lonesome and sorry for myself one day, I surfed around and found this place. Not only has it helped me to overcome my shame and to realize that I am perfectly NORMAL, it has also helped me to talk a little more openly about what I'm into. This has led me to discover that I know plenty of girls in my everyday life who are into the SAME THING. This is big for me. Being able to talk about it with them makes me feel so silly about being ashamed of myself in the past.


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## escapist (Dec 22, 2009)

mischel said:


> Furthermore i try to increase my english knowledge by reading escapists posts. I still cant read between the lines very good. (escapist = cool guy & role model )



Mit tiefer Dankbarkeit!  :happy:



Esther said:


> I totally agree with this. If someone wants to sell sex and another person wants to buy it, what is the fucking problem? Not to mention that the sex trade would be way safer for everyone involved if it were legal.
> 
> 
> And Melian, I can really relate to your post in a lot of ways. For me, the main reason I started visiting this board is because it helped me to feel less ashamed about my sexuality. I didn't recieve much sexual education as a kid so I never fully understood myself in that way... and it didn't help that I wasn't attracted to the typical sort of guy. I can remember being a little girl and praying to God to take away the feelings I was having because I didn't know how to deal with them. I was feeling attracted to fat grown men in their twenties and thirties when I was in first and second grade. Since there was obviously no way I could act upon that, I just started doing what felt natural at a very young age... and then when I found out this was called MASTURBATING I was absolutely horrified! I was doing something I wasn't even allowed to say (this was like a swear word in school and at home). Dating when I got older was futile too, since most of the highschool boys were hairless and twiggy, and all the guys I wanted to date were way out of my age range (me being the ugliest duckling in the pond didn't help either). I'm sure you can all see why this path led to me feeling ashamed about my sexuality for the longest time.
> Anyway... as I got older and the age gap closed and I could finally date the type of guys I was interested in, I found that I was still getting some negative reactions ("you like fat dudes? omg wtf") so when I was feeling particularly lonesome and sorry for myself one day, I surfed around and found this place. Not only has it helped me to overcome my shame and to realize that I am perfectly NORMAL, it has also helped me to talk a little more openly about what I'm into. This has led me to discover that I know plenty of girls in my everyday life who are into the SAME THING. This is big for me. Being able to talk about it with them makes me feel so silly about being ashamed of myself in the past.



I too grew up in a very ridged family and social structure. For some time I have tried very hard to not subject parts of who and what I am because some of my family is so insanely ridged they would never respect me nor my right to choose. Unfortunately the cat has been let out of the bag and the worst of them (an older sister) caught wind of it and although I know she was trying to not be to bitchy it still came out in her negative tone and connotation of how she utterly disapproves of my lifestyle. For my family they can not even begin to understand I'm fat, happy, and a party animal.


-------------------
Opps I forgot to answer the OP. I had found an FFA/BHM website some time ago, but it was almost impossible to talk to anybody about it. At first this place was a curiosity, I didn't even expect I would be living my life out with one of the FFA's I met on the board.


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## RJI (Dec 22, 2009)

I came here by accident, i was E-shopping and researching a product and a thread from here popped up. I started reading more and realized a forum with other big people and those who love them has to be worth checking out for awhile at least. I will stay because i see many of my BHM brothers seem to have issues with confidence and i am on the exact opposite side of that spectrum and if i can help some members that would be great especially the younger guys. 

Oh and i love my belly rubbed..... how could you not?


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## Bhm4life (Dec 24, 2009)

I found this place cause I am a big guy getting bigger and I'm looking for a woman who like big guys like myself.


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## Smite (Dec 24, 2009)

The people from BFC who I liked actually post here, and this place is alot easier to stomache.


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## JoeVanHalen (Dec 25, 2009)

I can be me here without being judged negatively.. I likes that.. I don't post a lot but I lurk.


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## freakyfred (Dec 25, 2009)

Honestly, it's nice to know that there are girls out there that don't dismiss big guys cause of their appearance. Kinda builds confidence y'know. Plus the people here are friendly!


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## johnnytattoos (Dec 27, 2009)

I'm not sure why I still frequent this place. I think I feel obligated to do so in some warped way. For me, this board is kinda like an old favorite jacket I never wear anymore...but can't bring myself to toss out.


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## escapist (Dec 27, 2009)

freakyfred said:


> Honestly, it's nice to know that there are girls out there that don't dismiss big guys cause of their appearance. Kinda builds confidence y'know. Plus the people here are friendly!



Don't feel bad, there are plenty of guys who are brainwashed by society and women themselves to believe such things. I wonder what the world would be like, if all fathers taught there son's that women are uncontrollably attracted to a strong personality, leaders of men, protectors of loved ones, someone who makes them feel beautiful without smothering them in qualifying neediness. Most often if a guy just has good grooming and smells good he is a pass as long as he has the other qualities I mentioned.


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## veil (Jan 2, 2010)

WillSpark said:


> HEY! sometimes it's fun being a whore, mister fuddy duddy.
> 
> 
> in all seriousness, i find this board empowering and challenging, in a really good way. i enjoy connecting with or reading about other people with similar desires and issues as i do. liking fat people can make a person feel mighty weird sometimes, and the folks here help me own that.


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## WillSpark (Jan 3, 2010)

Hey, I'm fine with whores. They provide an excellent service and are members of one of the only careers that has been around since the beginning of forever. There's a demand out there. 

I would just prefer not to attempt to build a strong lasting sexual and romantic relationship with someone who's career decision is sleeping with people for money, or worse, the social stigma of a whore, sleeping with anyone for no payment. I suppose I'm a weird one. XD


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## Lady Bella UK (Jan 3, 2010)

~You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Melian again~
Sorry hunny!



Melian said:


> Basically, I've noticed that my fetishes for BHM and BBW are getting more extreme...but they can't be fulfilled, since I'm married, and the guy is not quite a BHM. He also says he wants nothing to do with my fantasies. :/ So pretty much every day, I find myself bouncing back and forth between the BHM, GLBT and Weight boards, as well as the library, trolling around for stimulating material. EVERY DAY. It used to be only once a week or so.



I go everyday nearly now, when it used to be once a fortnight a year or so ago. I'm single, and I have been for a while...I've tried dating thinner men but they just don't do it for me which _pains_me so much at times. My friends have almost given hope on me finding someone - they know I like bigger men but I really can't tell them how much I need one. It would all be so simple if I was just ~sigh~ normal. But I'm not. I was drawn this way. So I come on here, because a) I see people who understand me b) I read things that interest me which make me understand myself better and yes, I have to be honest c) Stimulating material.



Melian said:


> Some people have asked why I didn't just hook up with a BHM or BBW who was into all the same stuff in the first place. Well, it's just not that simple! You think I didn't try?? There's a long list of qualities that I absolutely need in a partner (and I'm a fucking weird chick, so the qualities are weird too), and there have only been 2-3 people who have ever possessed a significant number of them - "fat" and "loves having their fat groped" never seem to accompany any of the other stuff! Why this happens, I have no idea....anyone care to shed some light?



I'm weird too hun  I've tried my hand at all 3 of the big men at work, but I got a big naah from all of them. As you say, even if you do meet a big guy, they don't nessecarily want you to touch them in all the right places that turn you on because it isn't their bag. So I look out for a) a big guy b) a big guy who loves and is happy with being a big guy and c) (the rarest of them all) a big guy who is turned on by being a big guy, likes weight gain & fat fondling etc.This might explain why I'm having trouble in 'real life'- and why I come on here to chat to men who are a) b) and c)  I hear ya...and I have no idea either!



Melian said:


> Over the years, I have found many thin guys who have my EXACT taste in music.....but zero fat guys.



This is sooooooooooo true!




Melian said:


> The best looking fat guys had BBW girlfriends, and didn't appear to be interested in thin women (happened soooooo many times). So no chance to even find out if we were compatible.



That sucks  I'm in the middle of being really fat and being thin, I don't know where I fit - just like life in genearl I guess!



Melian said:


> I have worked with a few REALLY attractive fat guys in various labs over the years. Problem is, once their lab coats come off, they are wearing clothes that are totally unappealing to me, and when they stop talking science (our commonality), we have nothing in common (and they bore me). Or they were religious, which I don't even get, coming from scientists!



Yeah...I see that; big guys who are cute but are unappealing.

Post of 2009 by far Melian , these are my two cents!

Bella xXx


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## Lady Bella UK (Jan 3, 2010)

Esther said:


> And Melian, I can really relate to your post in a lot of ways. For me, the main reason I started visiting this board is because it helped me to feel less ashamed about my sexuality. I didn't recieve much sexual education as a kid so I never fully understood myself in that way... and it didn't help that I wasn't attracted to the typical sort of guy. I can remember being a little girl and praying to God to take away the feelings I was having because I didn't know how to deal with them. I was feeling attracted to fat grown men in their twenties and thirties when I was in first and second grade. Since there was obviously no way I could act upon that, I just started doing what felt natural at a very young age... and then when I found out this was called MASTURBATING I was absolutely horrified! I was doing something I wasn't even allowed to say (this was like a swear word in school and at home). Dating when I got older was futile too, since most of the highschool boys were hairless and twiggy, and all the guys I wanted to date were way out of my age range (me being the ugliest duckling in the pond didn't help either). I'm sure you can all see why this path led to me feeling ashamed about my sexuality for the longest time.
> Anyway... as I got older and the age gap closed and I could finally date the type of guys I was interested in, I found that I was still getting some negative reactions ("you like fat dudes? omg wtf") so when I was feeling particularly lonesome and sorry for myself one day, I surfed around and found this place. Not only has it helped me to overcome my shame and to realize that I am perfectly NORMAL, it has also helped me to talk a little more openly about what I'm into. This has led me to discover that I know plenty of girls in my everyday life who are into the SAME THING. This is big for me. Being able to talk about it with them makes me feel so silly about being ashamed of myself in the past.



~You must spread around your reputation before you can give it to Esther again~

Beautiful post. I echo it completely.

Hugs,

Bella xXx


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## djudex (Jan 3, 2010)

Lady Bella UK said:


> I'm in the middle of being really fat and being thin



Correct me if I'm wrong but wouldn't that make you ... normal sized?


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## Lady Bella UK (Jan 3, 2010)

djudex said:


> Correct me if I'm wrong but wouldn't that make you ... normal sized?



Lol...it would seem that way from my post ! No, I'm obese (BMI 31 last time I checked), but I am not really really huge. If that makes sense 

B xXx


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## Melian (Jan 3, 2010)

Lady Bella UK said:


> ~You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Melian again~
> Sorry hunny!



I wanted to give you empathy-rep, but apparently I got you too recently, as well!


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## stldpn (Jan 3, 2010)

Lady Bella UK said:


> Lol...it would seem that way from my post ! No, I'm obese (BMI 31 last time I checked), but I am not really really huge. If that makes sense
> 
> B xXx



mine is 47.5 but bmi is a really inaccurate way to calculate such things... if you're muscular at all the measurement is flawed...


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## veil (Jan 3, 2010)

Lady Bella UK said:


> ~You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Melian again~
> Sorry hunny!
> 
> 
> ...




hear hear, on all counts. it is really difficult finding someone who matches well in terms of physical and mental/emotional needs. finding a cute fat guy who's also right for you? 

despite this board i still think c) is mainly fictional, haha. i've started dating a guy who hits between a) and b), but still angsts over looking big in pictures. i love him like crazy, and feel really good about what we have going, but i wish that he wasn't so focused on losing weight. 

still though, a big guy in the hand is worth two in the... wait, i take that back.


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## djudex (Jan 3, 2010)

veil said:


> despite this board i still think c) is mainly fictional, haha.



I'm probably in between a B and a C I think. I have no problems with having my fat fondled and while I enjoy a great meal and love eating I don't think of it as an erotic activity. As for enjoying my body I've been known to walk up behind people who are sitting down, grab my belly and drop it on their head from behind. If you can't have fun with your fat what the heck is the point of it??



> still though, a big guy in the hand is worth two in the... wait, i take that back.



:eat2:


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## Lady Bella UK (Jan 4, 2010)

veil said:


> despite this board i still think c) is mainly fictional, haha.



I have met a good half a dozen men on these boards who most definitely fit the category C)  I'm sure that means there are more out there...he he he

It's just a shame that 3 live in America, one lives in Germany, and the other two who do live in the UK have girlfriends! Hot damn...

Bella xXx


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## escapist (Jan 4, 2010)

Lady Bella UK, Veil, you two have given me reason to pause and think. I've been asked if my size turns me on. I do very much enjoy being a big guy most the time. There are the times when well I'm just too damn big to fit in anything, or fit in chairs/seats, public places but for the most part I'm happy being me. I don't see much of a choice in that either. I would go crazy if I wasn't. Apparently even getting down to a more manageable weight is very hard for me now. I work out, do cardio, go for walks and stuff and I'm still 500 lbs. I can't even relate to the people trying to gain. Yesterday I was sitting on Chicken Legs and I realized My ass to my belly goes from her breast to her knees. She is almost completely smothered under me....I don't know, it was just a shocker to me. I didn't even realize I was that big lol.

Like I said I'm just trying to analyze myself and see where I am on your scale. I like being fat, I love using my belly for fun hehehe (trust me there are uses). Most women up too 300 lbs I can pick up and spin around on it, bounce on it, and whatnot heh-heh.

Interesting stuff to think about.


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## Lady Bella UK (Jan 5, 2010)

escapist said:


> Lady Bella UK, Veil, you two have given me reason to pause and think. I've been asked if my size turns me on. I do very much enjoy being a big guy most the time. There are the times when well I'm just too damn big to fit in anything, or fit in chairs/seats, public places but for the most part I'm happy being me. I don't see much of a choice in that either. I would go crazy if I wasn't. Apparently even getting down to a more manageable weight is very hard for me now. I work out, do cardio, go for walks and stuff and I'm still 500 lbs. I can't even relate to the people trying to gain. Yesterday I was sitting on Chicken Legs and I realized My ass to my belly goes from her breast to her knees. She is almost completely smothered under me....I don't know, it was just a shocker to me. I didn't even realize I was that big lol.
> 
> Like I said I'm just trying to analyze myself and see where I am on your scale. I like being fat, I love using my belly for fun hehehe (trust me there are uses). Most women up too 300 lbs I can pick up and spin around on it, bounce on it, and whatnot heh-heh.
> 
> Interesting stuff to think about.



I think you are a B) with strong C) tendencies. But hey, who says people have to be put in categories? I guess I was using the A)B)C) as rough degrees of how happy men are to be fat. Everyone is going to like/not like different aspects of being large.

You are escapist.
You seem a man very happy with his self and size (most of the time).
You are also damn sexy :wubu: (yes, have checked you out on the Nail Polish thread!)

Thanks for sharing your thoughts 

Bella xXx


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## RJI (Jan 5, 2010)

Lady Bella UK said:


> I have met a good half a dozen men on these boards who most definitely fit the category C)  I'm sure that means there are more out there...he he he
> 
> It's just a shame that 3 live in America, one lives in Germany, and the other two who do live in the UK have girlfriends! Hot damn...
> 
> Bella xXx



I would think C's would be few and far in between. 
#1 reason is not many Big Guys are that confident and happy with themselves to even get to a C. I have many fat friends and i am the only one who actually enjoys being fat, the rest all want to lose for some reason or another. 

I would put myself between a B and C because i have no urge to purposely gain anymore weight because i like where i am at now. I can do all the things a small guy can do and i'm extremely active and healthy yet i have cushion and curves the skinny guys lack...


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## stldpn (Jan 5, 2010)

a) a big guy b) a big guy who loves and is happy with being a big guy and c) (the rarest of them all) a big guy who is turned on by being a big guy, likes weight gain & fat fondling etc.

I've always liked gaining to some degree... initially I gained because I was lifting competitively... it took me nearly eight years to get from 250 to 350 and for a long time I was very, very happy hanging out at the 350 mark... In the past six months I've had some health issues and I've put on another 20lbs, it's funny this weight gain feel different. I have concern about whether or not it will be a health issue mixed with an overall feeling of sexy soft spots I've never had before. It's been interesting to say the least...


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## ChubbyDucky (Jan 6, 2010)

The issues you raise in this post are sooo many of the same ones I've gone through.

But yeah, I've been coming to these forums mostly to read stories- never had the guts to make a username and participate in forums until now (new year, new adventures). So my main reason for coming here has been to read stories that are parallel with my fantasies, but they're fantasies I keep hidden from everyone around me.

I shared them with an ex-boyfriend of mine who was gaining weight. I dared to tell him I liked it and he got freaked out, wouldn't let me touch his belly, etc. But then, when he couldn't lose weight, he blamed me which was totally messed up. 

But the stories here, both fictional and from real life, just add something extra to my day.


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## Smite (Jan 6, 2010)

Damn this post was a great read, makes me go back to about almsot 2 years ago when I planned BFC because I wanted a place for people to feel free and discuss their preferences. Thanks for the excellent posts .


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## Melian (Jan 6, 2010)

ChubbyDucky said:


> I shared them with an ex-boyfriend of mine who was gaining weight. I dared to tell him I liked it and he got freaked out, wouldn't let me touch his belly, etc. But then, when he couldn't lose weight, he blamed me which was totally messed up.



Yep, been there too. You don't tell them to gain, or even that you like it, and then if they gain on their own and you dare to admit to liking it (even after a year or more!) and then it's YOUR FAULT. Infuriating. Especially when they spread it around to all your mutual friends that you "made him fat." :doh:



Smite said:


> Damn this post was a great read, makes me go back to about almsot 2 years ago when I planned BFC because I wanted a place for people to feel free and discuss their preferences. Thanks for the excellent posts .



And now you never post at BFC (and infrequently here)! Basically, what I'm saying is that we need more Smite in our lives :happy:


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## Lady Bella UK (Jan 6, 2010)

Smite said:


> Damn this post was a great read, makes me go back to about almsot 2 years ago when I planned BFC because I wanted a place for people to feel free and discuss their preferences. Thanks for the excellent posts .



I agree with Melian...*more Smite please!* I know. Thats what I wanted when I joined BFC. I guessed I stop going on when you stopped going on then everyone stopped going on...

You are the exceptional to the rule Smite, a big guy with _exceptional _taste in music. Do you have any of the Beatles remasters? I've started collecting them, they are fantastic and well worth the money.

Bella xXx


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## Lady Bella UK (Jan 6, 2010)

ChubbyDucky said:


> The issues you raise in this post are sooo many of the same ones I've gone through.
> 
> But yeah, I've been coming to these forums mostly to read stories- never had the guts to make a username and participate in forums until now (new year, new adventures). So my main reason for coming here has been to read stories that are parallel with my fantasies, but they're fantasies I keep hidden from everyone around me.
> 
> ...



Welcome ChubbyDucky, well done for making that big leap  I love some of the stories on here. I would recommend So Very Soft's (on the Weight Room Archive I think) as some to read. In fact...PM me and I'll send you one of my own naughty fat-boy related shorts if you would so like 

Sorry to hear about the ex-boyfriend situation, that must have been such a harsh blow after coming clean to him about how you felt. I hope it doesn't affect any of your future relationships  

Much love & hugs,

Bella xXx


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## Durin (Jan 8, 2010)

It puts me in a good mood regarding my expanded waistline. 

As a married FA/BHM it is always interesting to see the similarities between FA's and FFA's.


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## Lady Bella UK (Jan 9, 2010)

Durin said:


> As a married FA/BHM it is always interesting to see the similarities between FA's and FFA's



I agree. I personally think male & female fat admirers are two sides of the same Fat lovin' coin 

Lady Bella xXx


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## Smite (Jan 11, 2010)

Haha I enjoy all the fanfare  I miss everyone too, just I forget sometimes to stop by at these places! 



Lady Bella UK said:


> Do you have any of the Beatles remasters? I've started collecting them, they are fantastic and well worth the money.



That I do; I paid $300 for the stereo ones because I got them through QVC (a tv channel shopping thing here in the US) worth every overpriced penny. I still need to track down the mono ones.


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## NYC_FFA (Jan 11, 2010)

Esther said:


> And Melian, I can really relate to your post in a lot of ways. For me, the main reason I started visiting this board is because it helped me to feel less ashamed about my sexuality. I didn't recieve much sexual education as a kid so I never fully understood myself in that way... and it didn't help that I wasn't attracted to the typical sort of guy. I can remember being a little girl and praying to God to take away the feelings I was having because I didn't know how to deal with them. I was feeling attracted to fat grown men in their twenties and thirties when I was in first and second grade. Since there was obviously no way I could act upon that, I just started doing what felt natural at a very young age... and then when I found out this was called MASTURBATING I was absolutely horrified! I was doing something I wasn't even allowed to say (this was like a swear word in school and at home). Dating when I got older was futile too, since most of the highschool boys were hairless and twiggy, and all the guys I wanted to date were way out of my age range (me being the ugliest duckling in the pond didn't help either). I'm sure you can all see why this path led to me feeling ashamed about my sexuality for the longest time.
> Anyway... as I got older and the age gap closed and I could finally date the type of guys I was interested in, I found that I was still getting some negative reactions ("you like fat dudes? omg wtf") so when I was feeling particularly lonesome and sorry for myself one day, I surfed around and found this place. Not only has it helped me to overcome my shame and to realize that I am perfectly NORMAL, it has also helped me to talk a little more openly about what I'm into. This has led me to discover that I know plenty of girls in my everyday life who are into the SAME THING. This is big for me. Being able to talk about it with them makes me feel so silly about being ashamed of myself in the past.



I was having trouble sleeping tonight, so I hopped online and read this and just had to respond. Thank you so much for posting this. It reminds me so much of my own experience, and you said it all so perfectly. I can't think of a better way to put my feelings into words, so I'll just say that you rock. :bow:


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## PeanutButterfly (Jan 16, 2010)

Hey Melian I hear ya! (I have no idea what tangent this thread went off into because I'm too lazy to read the whole thing but I'll answer the original question the best I can.)

I definetly know how difficult it is to find a BHM with the personality that I'm attracted to, let alone actually enjoys being fat! 

"3. It's often a good idea to meet potential partners in the places you frequent, right? Yeah...no fat guys there. I have had several regular haunts, and the only fat guys I found tended to be "that fat guy." You know, the creepy one who lives in his mom's basement and doesn't bathe? Yeah, him."

^ I'm pretty sure this point was already addressed but it never hurts to reiterate. I immediatly notice how a guy dresses, especially a big guy. It's pretty important to women, even if it seems trivial to men. I'm not talking designer everything, but a semi-fashionable hoodie with some loose faded jeans does wonders. If a guy doesn't know to dress himself, wash his hair or is generally creepy I'm going to say pass.

As for personality, the type I'm into is a rarity in fat men too. I like confident, comanding men. Men who are articulate, worldly and have a good knowledge of current events and pop culture. They also have to be witty and intelligent. I feel like growing up as a big person definetly effects those qualities, which is why finding young BHM like that is difficult. As we mature we eventually out grow a number of insecurities but for my age range they're still present. 

I wish I could find me a confident witty fat man who would let me grope his sexy gut.


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## escapist (Jan 17, 2010)

PeanutButterfly said:


> Hey Melian I hear ya! (I have no idea what tangent this thread went off into because I'm too lazy to read the whole thing but I'll answer the original question the best I can.)
> 
> I definetly know how difficult it is to find a BHM with the personality that I'm attracted to, let alone actually enjoys being fat!
> 
> ...



OK everybody, were you paying attention to what she said? I LOVE it when the FFA's reinforce everything I say.

Notice that FAT was on the bottom of the list?

No lets re-crap:

1. Clean
2. Style - (Chicken Legs favorite Rant right there)
3. Personality
4. Confidence
5. Fat

Sure she put fat at the top of the list, but you guys keep thinking that is the first and foremost priority and ya often think, Hey I got that, she should LOVE ME! WRONG! Can any chubby guy become that guy? Uh, I know ya can!

I'm no longer going to make mile long post about this topic. I'm no longer going to go on huge rants about it. If I can help the 40 year old virgin change his life and find the woman of his dreams I know I can help almost any guy reading this.

Consider this a pre-announcement I will be making a *Fat Guy & Dating Guide and Forum/Website*. I know there are a lot of guys out there who would be perfect for PeanutButterfly and women like her. Your just hiding the best parts of you and you don't know how to let it out. Trust me, after you do, you won't have to worry about finding the woman your looking for because they are already looking for you!


*PeanutButterfly* - Thanks for your post and welcome to the board. The kinda guy your looking for really does exist. I know of one right now who would be perfect but guess what? He doesn't come here much anymore! He is too busy with his new life and enjoying every minute of it!


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## Melian (Jan 17, 2010)

escapist said:


> No lets re-crap:



Ahahahahaha. 

PB: welcome to the boards, and thanks for joining in on this thread  I feel the same way, regarding the way a guy dresses - I notice right away, and if he's dirty/disheveled/wearing something stupid, there's no chance of me noticing any of his better physical qualities. Yeah, fat guys have less clothing options vs thin guys, but obviously I factor that into my evaluation.


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## escapist (Jan 17, 2010)

LOL excellent, see this is why All you can eat sushi, Tons of Sake till 2am, and early postings don't go well together. I have a hard enough time spelling well as it is lol.

...but seriously even I have to laugh at that..."re-crap" lol

that wasn't the only mistake in there either.

Meant to say:
"Now, lets re-cap:"


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## Melian (Jan 17, 2010)

escapist said:


> LOL excellent, see this is why All you can eat sushi, Tons of Sake till 2am, and early postings don't go well together. I have a hard enough time spelling well as it is lol.
> 
> ...but seriously even I have to laugh at that..."re-crap" lol
> 
> ...



I <3 you.


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## escapist (Jan 17, 2010)

Melian said:


> I <3 you.



(Han Solo Sly Smile) ...I know.


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## stldpn (Jan 17, 2010)

Melian said:


> Ahahahahaha.
> 
> PB: welcome to the boards, and thanks for joining in on this thread  I feel the same way, regarding the way a guy dresses - I notice right away, and if he's dirty/disheveled/wearing something stupid, there's no chance of me noticing any of his better physical qualities. Yeah, fat guys have less clothing options vs thin guys, but obviously I factor that into my evaluation.



and here I was wondering if that was intentional


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## veil (Mar 31, 2010)

Melian said:


> Ahahahahaha.
> 
> PB: welcome to the boards, and thanks for joining in on this thread  I feel the same way, regarding the way a guy dresses - I notice right away, and if he's dirty/disheveled/wearing something stupid, there's no chance of me noticing any of his better physical qualities. Yeah, fat guys have less clothing options vs thin guys, but obviously I factor that into my evaluation.



lord yeah, what the hell? i went shopping with my man a day or two ago and was amazed/appalled at the lack of selection. polo shirts FOR EVERYONE. there's nothing wrong with them, but it isn't his style and it pissed me off that my hot fat guy couldn't find anything that showed off his hot fatness the way we liked. BOO.


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## Tyrael (Apr 1, 2010)

Why am i here on dims...?

Well i think iam here for a bit of acceptance and understanding.
And probably also to be away from my life as it is here.

Dont get me wrong  i have enough rl friends, and all kind of types  so that isnt the problem .

Only problem with all my rl friends is: that im always get to be seen as a "brother" figure...

Not that thats so bad.. but would love to see that a bit diffrent some time.. 

But well things are the way they are


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## Zowie (Apr 1, 2010)

I suppose I come here daily just to read posts. It's nice to find an internet forum which isn't completely overrun with spammers, and since it's a fairly small community, there isn't the usual bullshit that one usually finds.
On top of that, well it's a way to somewhat accept myself sexually. Like most girls, I was brought up thinking "This is hot and this is not", so it is strange to find myself attracted to the "not". And once that's been looked at, it's nice to find a place where big guys can feel comfortable enough to post pictures and receive comments without thinking that the girls are mocking them. >.< 

Melian, I originally thought you were ridiculously demanding and picky about your men by your criteria, but I made my own list and I'm just as bad.  Some of the qualities are more important than others, such as being able to have an intelligent conversation (The last guy I was with, despite being nice and funny, didn't seem to be able to think about anything that didn't directly influence his life. It was a little frustrating). But others, like tastes in music or such I don't really give a damn about, since it means that the person can show me new things.

Oh, and I also come here to strategize. Should I eventually spot a guy I take a liking to, what's the best way to approach him with all my crazy intentions and not scaring him off. :doh:


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## LovesBigMen (Apr 1, 2010)

I also come to read daily posts as well as be accepted, though to the friends I have told that I like the bigger men  it was like nothing they were all cool with it, none of the oh my gosh you like big guys nope all calm just like normal. As something like that should be, yet still Dims allows me like others said to just be able to complement big guys and not have them think its a joke. Also I grew up with the hes hot he is not well I like hefty guys and that is just that, I actually like the dorky guys hehe since I am dorky and geeky. I told my mom one day actually that I like big guys and she was like not like Gabriel Iglesias right hehe I didn't answer. But I slowly am able to tell my friends and when I do and get such a calm reaction I feel like I should of never been ashamed. I am not ashamed I love the big guys :happy:. I am so glad there is a place like this I was so happy when I found it.


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## Melian (Apr 1, 2010)

bionic_eggplant said:


> Melian, I originally thought you were* ridiculously demanding and picky *about your men by your criteria, but I made my own list and I'm just as bad.  Some of the qualities are more important than others, such as being able to have an intelligent conversation (The last guy I was with, despite being nice and funny, didn't seem to be able to think about anything that didn't directly influence his life. It was a little frustrating). But others, like tastes in music or such I don't really give a damn about, since it means that the person can show me new things.



Oh psh 

The criteria were not that strict. Finding a smart guy with some common interests, who is clean, nice and fat shouldn't be an impossible thing....yet that ended up being the case. Like you said, some qualities are more important than others, and for me, the lifestyle and general compatibility stuff was what mattered most (if he couldn't understand why I wanted to game for 4 hours every night, or if he listened to hip hop, or if he was religious and tried to tell me about it....gah...I couldn't live with him!). I figured, as long as he's not _thin_, I can still find him quite attractive, and the fact that it was the only compromise is actually pretty decent.


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## FishCharming (Apr 2, 2010)

i visit the boards because i'm hoping to one day have that FFA of my dreams who lives around the block pop up and say "hi" =D I've read in other posts about guys willing to relocate for the right woman but i have an obligation to my daughter and i've done enough moving around for her life time...

but until that happens i'm plenty happy to just flirt with all the incredible FFA's in residence and indiscriminately throw my opinions around. so, mazel tov!


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## BLUEeyedBanshee (Apr 2, 2010)

I visit this board because it's a nice group of folks who usually have decently interesting discussion, and there's always some good eye candy around.

Also, need to make sure you people are staying in line!


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## BigIzzy (Apr 3, 2010)

I visit Dims for several reasons:

1. I'm fat(I have pics that prove it if you like...lol)
2. I'm a chubby chaser(not an FA but like them thick, if you know what I mean)
3. Talk to people who share these interests


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## Tyrael (Apr 19, 2010)

1. acceptance.
2. friendships.
3. fun.
4. building bit of confidence..

Well i failed at multiple.. so ..
ill be letting this go for now..

Not much to add anyway..

Have fun all


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## spiritangel (Apr 19, 2010)

It is a fascinating place to look around, I find some threads so riveting I have been here reading until my eyes couldnt focus, it is amazing the things I have learnt, 

I am loving it as a place where my size isnt an issue

I find it informative and interesting re FA's and FFA's and why they love big people, 

not only that but I have actually started a friend of mine reading the threads here, next step is getting her to join because I think she would really benefit from it, I know I have.

and all the compliments ect are nice, and I love that there is art, hobbies and other such creative stuff here not to mention have found a few new clothing places to bookmark and drool over

I am sure I could add loads more but its after midnight and my brain is winding down lol


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