# Do you know why you are fat?!



## missy_blue_eyez (Apr 21, 2009)

So, Ive been thinking this evening about the reasons why I am fat. Im going to try and word this best as I can so you all understand but Im asking more for psychological reasons if you know? Memories, things that have happened etc?

What bought this on is I have watched a program this evening about obese teenagers asking the NHS for gastric band operations. The main thing I noticed about the way these teenagers were dealt with is that it didnt seem that counselling was offered to any of them to decipher the root causes of there obesity/eating habits etc. For instance, one Dr asked one young girl about her family history etc, and about relationships, but it didnt seem like it was taken any further (maybe just televisual editing etc) but neither was long term counselling mentioned. This young girl was also asked 'Why do you want this operation?' To which she replied 'Because I want to be skinny, I want to look like Jordan aka Katie Price, I want to have big boobs.' Now, that rang alarm bells with me, and made me think, 'Why the hell arent these kids being offered self esteem classes, counselling, etc etc?' To me, I am all about the mental causes which lead to obesity, and I personally feel, especially after watching this program that counselling and dealing with those reasons first and foremost could possibley be the major part into dealing with obesity long term for the British government. Now, yeh I know, Im no Dr, and there just my thoughts. But initially after some of these thoughts I got to thinking about some of my own past behaviour regarding food, and eating. For myself personally, I would much rather these teenagers/young adults had £15,000 worth of counselling, psychological help, personal training and a nutritionist rather then being plunged into £15,000 worth of surgery without them really understanding there behaviour as I feel that it would be much more beneficial long term. But thats just me.

Some of my earliest memories which were bought up were from when I was around 6-9 years old. I can remember stealing and hoarding food from the kitchen and literally hiding in the garden, hiding away from everybody and literally gorging myself. Why did I do this? I have absolutely no idea, and this is why I wrote this thread. Although I am happy with the way I am, I am still inquisitive about the root causes to why I became/why I am fat. These memories seem to bring about the idea to me that maybe my fat is due to some undealt with eating disorder, but, I may never know. 

We are so sympathetic towards other eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia and with these disorders counselling plays the key role in tackling the behaviour, and it makes me wonder why obesity (in Britain anyway) isnt dealt with in the same way. There seems to be no sympathy, no talking, no digging to find root causes, but more about shipping kids off to fat camps, getting them jogging and making them eat salad but never really helping them to understand why they are this way. 

So I just want to know...Do you know why you are fat? What memories do you have? Have you ever had counselling? Did it help? Im intrigued. Not intending, or trying to upset anybody with any of this. So if anybody is offended, it is not intended at all, maybe worded wrongly. But yeh, thats my question.......


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## Brenda (Apr 21, 2009)

I am fat because I eat too much and exercise too little. I can not explain my drive to eat but I know it is greater then most people. My lack of exercise is a side effect of the weight as moving this body around is difficult.

I have long pondered why I am unable to eat normally for any sustained period but I really don't know. It is sort of like being told to only breath every 30 seconds, you can do it for a while but you reach the point where you start gulping air because you become overwhelmed with the feeling of urgency to breath.

Brenda


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## Red (Apr 21, 2009)

This thread is amazing Missy, it is pretty much what's been floating around my brain recently so I would love to chime in. I haven't yet watched the show but I will 4OD it tomorrow though as I watched the previous 2 shows in the series and found them very interesting but also harrowing. For anyone who hasn't watched the series 'The Hospital', it basically addresses the major factors in today's society that are challenging the NHS. A sort of insight into it all from the doctors and nurses viewpoint.

I will answer your question properly once I have caught up with the series as I feel watching it will help me think about it more from my own point of view. I am thinking it's something that I might never fully understand but I truly believe, from discovering 'size acceptance' a few years back that I should continue to investigate and challenge it further as it has now been cemented into my brain and my heart as something I shall always aim to face head on. I would like to say, it's been so lovely meeting a group of 'real' people to speak with about this and I count myself as very fortunate to have this support network and 'sounding board' available.

I look forward to reading everyone's responses.


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## Cors (Apr 21, 2009)

Interesting post. How did you manage to overcome the secret binge-eating episodes on your own? Do you feel like you still have disordered eating habits now? Something that you can't control and interferes significantly with your body image and daily life? If you are for the most part, happy and healthy (as much as a young woman can be in a beauty-obssesed society anyway) then there is little reason to worry I guess. 

I'm not sure about the public being sympathetic about eating disorders. Most people I know, doctors and psychologists included seem pretty ignorant ("Go eat a sandwich you mindless celebrity-copying, attention-seeking vainpot!") and even then, this is only targeted at people who are visibly emaciated. Most people who suffer from an eating disorder (particularly bulimia and binge-eating disorder) are not thin and often complain about how they are not taken seriously. I can only imagine how it must be so much worse for fat people, having to combat the assumption that you must be a lazy glutton and then be offered nothing more than a quick fix, which will probably backfire in the long run if one actually does have an eating disorder. 

It also saddens me greatly that there doesn't seem to be much support for fat people with eating disorders, even in a size-acceptance community.


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## Oirish (Apr 21, 2009)

Great post Missy. I completely agree that counseling or other methods ought to be employed prior to surgery. Without counseling, as you suggested, any behavior which would influence their weight would be ignored. Without addressing behavioral issues in these individuals' circumstances the behavior will likely repeat with the same results. 
Dietetic education is an important tool that should be used prior to surgery as well. If this show is not at least mentioning the importance of diet and the usefulness of consulting a dietitian then something is seriously wrong with the show and I would begin to question if the participants' health is really considered or if it is all a ratings game to the producers. 
Does the show make any mention of genetic predisposition being a factor?


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Apr 21, 2009)

> Why are you fat?



I want to hang with the cool kids.


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## steely (Apr 22, 2009)

I know this may sound strange but food tastes better to me than other people.I can tell this because I can go to other people's houses for dinner and people are eating it like it's wonderful.I can taste that it really isn't good.
I have a whole family who is the same way.We know what tastes good and what doesn't.We are very good cooks and comfort food is our specialty.

We have always been this way and we are also emotional eaters because the taste of food is so good it makes you feel better.I like food.Damn this diabetes.


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## thatgirl08 (Apr 22, 2009)

There are a lot of reasons why I'm fat. 

First of all, I come from a family that is predisposed to be. I don't blame the entire fact that I'm fat on this, but it does play a role. The majority of my family is varying sizes of fat because all of us, even when we were little, have/had really slow metabolisms. Some people are lucky enough to be able to eat and eat and eat and not gain a pound. That isn't true for us.

Second, my parents in particular didn't teach me proper eating habits. I don't blame them for making me fat or anything but, I was fat as soon as I hit age 2 or so. Reality is, they gave me a lot of junk and didn't make me eat a lot of healthy food when I was little so I was always fat. They also put me on various diets when I was little which ended up in me gaining more weight rather than taking anything off. I mean, people realize now that like.. the soup cabbage diet, for example, isn't good for you but in the early/mid 90's it was considered a legit diet. I remember trying to choke it down for weeks on end. Now that I'm 18, although I am still living with my parents, I do have way more control over what food is purchased (my mom will pretty much buy me whatever I request within reason) and obviously much greater control over what I eat, the poor eating habits have stuck with me despite the fact that I know better now. 

Third, I have an utterly unhealthy relationship with food and eating. I can admit it. I have an eating disorder but I don't attempt to seek help because I fear I won't be taken seriously. I binge eat to cope with my feelings. If I'm upset about something, I can be sick to my stomach from eating too much, and still feel the drive to eat. The last year alone has been extremely stressful for me and I've put on nearly 50 pounds from emotional eating. Binge eating can be just as detrimental to your health as drinking or doing drugs or cutting or whatever to deal with problems, but people don't recognize it as such. It isn't taken seriously.

Being fat is a part of who I am. I've always been fat and chances are, I always will be. I've learned to accept myself for who I am regardless of size, and I've learned to appreciate various parts of being the size that I am. That said, I really wish I had more control over my emotional eating so that I could feel more in control of my body.


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## ButlerGirl09 (Apr 22, 2009)

I am fat because I have lots of medical issues that have caused me to gain significant amounts of weight. I have to take medication for these things, which also causes me to gain weight.

With that said I also know I am not active enough, but it is so hard when you feel so rotten most of the time. However, recently my medications have been changed and we've discovered other issues etc. so I'm on the track to losing weight.

I did want to mention one thing though... (Somewhat of a side-note, sorry!) I have spent 2 years of my life researching and attempting to get insurance approval for WLS. I do not believe I will be having this surgery now since we have discovering new medical issues and its being addressed along with the fact that I'm losing weight on my own now.

Nonetheless, the hospital that I was seeking surgery from did an extensive screening process. In order to receive the surgery one had to go through a group consultation about the surgery in general, a one on one consultation with the doctor, a psychological evaluation from a professional, attend support groups, have pre-op education sessions etc. In this whole process if a person's mental state and motives behind the surgery were not right they would be referred for more long term counseling etc. I believe this is the way to go. However, I am in the process of being a psychologist so perhaps my opinion is biased!  But there are so many causes for the way we are, the way we acts, etc. that we have no clue or cannot consciously process all the time. Because of this counseling, therapy, self-esteem classes, whatever it may be are completely necessary in a process like this and perhaps for many of us in everyday life!


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## Aurora1 (Apr 22, 2009)

Hmmmm why am I fat? Well let me start by saying I lost 140 WITHOUT gastric bypass or any other WLS. 

I currently weigh 175lbs which by "normal" standards is NOT skinny. 

I was thin in high school...got married...had a baby and gained 80lbs during my pregnancy and continued to gain more weight after the baby. When my daughter was 2 my husband and I got a divorce. I was struggling, a little depressed and realized that this was affecting my daughter in more ways than one. I wanted to be a good role model for her...fat or skinny....I wanted to be confident and happy and upbeat and ambitious in life. Instead I was lonely, depressed and not nurturing enough for her because of my lack of desire to even be alive at the time. We were on our own and I had no day to day help to get by with the basic things that needed to be done to care of us.

Regardless of wether I was a Mom at the time I decided I did NOT want to spend the rest of MY life alone eating and eating and eating away at the pain everytime I was sad or bored or lonely or upset. It wasn't doing me any good and it wasn't doing my daughter any good either.

I met someone. We spent some time together as friends and lovers and companions and best friends at times. I realized he would love me wether I was fat or thin. That made a huge impact on me. He actually thought I was beautiful when he met me closer to 300lbs and when he saw me again closer to 200lbs. I'm tall...5"8...and have larger calves and and solid structure and large breasts so....one has can ever really guess how much I weigh. The point of me even mentioned the weight is because some people do have max and min weight limits BUT this man just saw beauty as beauty...regardless of weight. I'm not sayin this is the best man I ever met but it opened a door to my sexuality again and I have honestly never been the same since. Now, I've met another man who feels the SAME exact way....he would love me NO matter what I weighed. It's ME he loves...well, that and my sexy rack lol...but in any case the point is that I believe people come in and out of your lives for a reason. You may not fully understand why at the time but it usually comes together and makes sense after time.

Back to the point of the thread...I KNOW why I'm fat!!! I LOVE junk food! I love McDonalds, Arbys, Burger King, Chinese food, pizza.....the list goes on and on. I'm by no means a dietician but when yer diet mainly consists of peanut M&M's and cheeseburgers...unless you have a blessed metabolism like my 105lb friend....you WILL be fat! I am also genetically predisposed to be larger. I don't blame the entire fact that I'm fat on this, but it does play a role.


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## Risible (Apr 22, 2009)

Like Brenda, I'm fat because I eat too much and exercise too little. Genetics also play a big role; I've been fat all my life, pretty much - since I was a toddler. I have a couple of "overweight" siblings.

I'm currently 400+, but during my 30s I hovered between 300-375# and losing weight, hitting a plateau at 250#. I felt great at 250, was healthy, and had good stats. Maintaining 250 was difficult, though; I ate 1200-1500 calories a day and exercised about an hour a day; had frequent, relentless and raging cravings for carbs and sweets; and I had to struggle against my very nature to keep that at that weight. I suspect thin/"normal"-weight people don't have to struggle to that extent. I suspect that when they say "Oh, the willpower it took to pass up that donut!" wasn't the war I waged, but, rather, a kinda flippant, pop-speak thing to say.

So, like I said, my size is due to improper diet and lack of exercise, but it is moving mountains to get motivated to do something about that.


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## TallFatSue (Apr 22, 2009)

steely said:


> I know this may sound strange but food tastes better to me than other people.I can tell this because I can go to other people's houses for dinner and people are eating it like it's wonderful.I can taste that it really isn't good.


Definitely. I probably taste food more intensely than the average person too. When the food is genuinely good it can give me a buzz that's almost erotic, and when it's truly delicious I almost feel like I'm tasting it with my entire body. :eat2: :eat2: :eat2:

Other people are also much more influenced by appearance than taste. Sometimes someone brings a cake into the office that looks spectacular, but they left out the flavor. Everybody dives right in like it's a gourmet treat, but can't understand why I'm not interested. Thank you, but my taste buds actually work.

And of course every once in a while, someone raves about a restaurant that serves questionable burritos as big as your head:
"How's the food?"
"The portions are huge."
"Yes, but how is the food?"
"They serve so much you can hardly finish it."
"Yes, but HOW IS THE FOOD?"
"If you go away hungry, it's your own fault."
"Oh. Quantity trumps quality. Thanks but no thanks."

My fat is made of only the finest ingredients, ya know.


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## Ruffie (Apr 22, 2009)

Well for me I think it began at age 8 when my mother put me on my first diet. I dieted from age 8 -21 when I finally decided that I was fat and was gonna be fat screw it. I think it screwed up my metabolism during my formative years. However I am VERY aware I am fat cause I like my starches. Bread, pasta, potatoes are something that when I gave up(trying the Atkins diet) I really lost weight fast. However not good for your heart to stick to that diet, and also decided life is too short to not enjoy those foods. So although I am fairly active with a busy daily life, if I incorporated more exercise and limited intake of certain foods I could probably be thinner but MEH!
Ruth


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## PhatChk (Apr 22, 2009)

Why I am fat?

I have a sedentary life. I like good food. And my hormones are a bitch! I actually loose weight pretty easy if I get on a diet and exercise, however I love food and I spend all day on my pc or sitting down at work. My doctor says my hormones don't help when they go wacky it makes cravings go crazy.


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## cherylharrell (Apr 30, 2009)

It's cuz I come from the fat family lol. Also I was fat enough before taking certain diabetes meds. Those diabetes meds made me gain even more weight. The ones that don't make ya gain give me diarrhea. I'd rather be fat than have diarrhea...


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## moore2me (May 2, 2009)

Do I know why I'm fat? *Yes.* The answer is below. If after reading it, you say "this girl is crazy!" My answer is again, *Yes *- but it's all part of their continuing amusement.

In a kingdom far away and long ago, the furies were bored one day and decided it would be fun to mess up another human's life. At random, they selected my mom who was pregnant with me. The furies spent hours arguing about what would be the most entertaining afflictions to visit on the little babe (me) but after a knockout, dragout, call the cops fight, they decided on giving me morbid obesity. As an little extra fun, the girls from hell talked and decided it would be hilarious to make the fat start piling on before kindergarten. And, to make sure I understood my sentence, they made a clause in my genetic makeup that if I worked to lose weight, in a short time, I would gain in all back plus and extra 25-50 pounds.

The furies soon realized they needed more entertainment out of my life and decided to play with me like a cat does with a mouse  before she eats it. So, almost daily, I have negative things come up about my fat. (I can see a goulish face snickering) at me when this happens. I cant turn on the TV or open a magazine without someone barking about why Im fat . But most nonfat mortals will never know the real reason  and blame it all on me (while the furies laugh more loudly). 

On a side note, I have tried the time tested ancient practice of animal sacrifice to appease these harpies and get them to go somewhere else. I have sacrificed a rack of Corky's ribs, a large bucket of KFC Extra Crispy, and two pounds of Alaskan Snow Crab legs from Sams. It has not worked.

Have you seen your furies today?


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## Tania (May 2, 2009)

Cors said:


> Most people who suffer from an eating disorder (particularly bulimia and binge-eating disorder) are not thin and often complain about how they are not taken seriously....It also saddens me greatly that there doesn't seem to be much support for fat people with eating disorders, even in a size-acceptance community.



Absolutely. Binging is enabled, and purging and fasting are often eyed with contempt rather than compassion. 

As most posters have indicated, fat causality is complex. Further, states of "fatness" vs. "thinness" aren't these neatly cut-and-dried, concretely and universally defined dichotomies, either. I think that for a lot of people - whether they meet strict diagnostic criteria for body dysmorphic disorders or not - fatness begins as a state of mind. You're made to feel fat because your family or your doctors or clothing manufacturers seem to tell you that you're too big, and that starts a vicious cycle of psychological self-fulfilling prophecies. That was certainly true for me, anyway. 

I agree with Missy that "just lose the weight, as quickly as possible!" (and particularly via WLS) approach isn't the answer, though I'm not surprised that people latch onto surgery like it's some sort of panacea. I think most people (and society in general) would rather sand down and gloss over the obvious, external manifestations of issues and problems than take on the long and arduous task of figuring out what's REALLY wrong and how they can begin the long, arduous journey toward making it right. 

While I believe that surgery can be a useful tool for mature adults, it doesn't in and of itself address the root causes of the problem for most people. Further, I think that most minor teens are completely unequal to the task of comprehending what WLS can and should be expected to do. It makes a lot more sense to try to tackle the emotional/psychological stuff (in individual lives as well as society as a whole) that caused the behaviors that led to the problem in the first place, rather than allowing WLS-abuse as a first resort. After all, if the main reason a teen wants WLS is to be able to meet celebrity size standards (and let's face it, most teens seeking to lose weight ARE dealing with some pretty severe peer/media pressure), then the surgery is little more than anorexia enablement. At best, it's a tiny bandaid on a massive, deep-seated problem, for what happens when the old modes of coping return and obliterate the physical progress made by the surgery? It's back to square one.


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## superodalisque (May 2, 2009)

i'm fat because eat more calories than i expend. i'm fat because i like how food tastes and i prefer it to sit in my belly instead of purging. psychologically i'm comfortable with being fat. its nothing about my childhood, over half my lifetime ago, that controls the actions i take now. i'm mature enough to know now that i make my own decisions and i chose the outcome of most things happening in my life. 

i worry about the idea of people scapegoating when they are fat. i think it takes thier personal power away and gives them excuses. even if someone has an enabler they chose to have one. they look for one unconsciously. the truth is that somewhere inside we chose what and how we are going to be. sometimes we are punishing ourselves, sometimes we are comforting and rewarding ourselves. it doesn't really matter which. what matters is whether that fits in with the true vision you have of yourself. a person can't grind on the guilting of others and self hatred for thier entire lives. that would be a pity and a waste.

in my opinion a person should not be fat unless they like being fat just as they shouldn't be thin unless they like being thin. the question is if a person doen't like it why do they punish themselves by being something that is not them? accepting themselves is not enough. for me accepting sounds like settling for a life they don't want and making the best of a bad situation. i think that is kind of a diservice to a person's life. i know that personally i could not accept beng thin. even with my recent health issue i have lost a bit of weight and i miss it. i never expected it to be such a big deal to me but it is since my weight is a part of who i want to be. but i don't expect everyone to feel that way.

the idea that people are actually trapped in their fat is sad. i know its unpopular to say here sometimes but i think there are very few people if any who are really trapped either by psychology or physiology in being fat. one has to chose to do the work to become that image they have of themselves. whatever that image may be. i think its time to get real about weight. i don't personally believe its as complicated as people would like to make it. they just want to b able to have thier cake and eat it too. too bad it doesn't work that way. somewhere deep down people have decided that the food and the enjoyment of it is more important than the other things they feel the weight is affecting. i think they feel guilty about that, but they shouldn't. i believe it would be healthier to take control of the choices a person makes instead of creating a pretense of blaming the weight on some emotional trauma suffered half a lifetime ago. i think most of the problem and discomfort with being fat is all of the dishonesty conflict and posturing that goes on around weight. i believe that if people could just be unapologetically themselves they could be happy and the why of it wouldn't matter very much at all. i'm so proud of the people posting here. there is much less of the "its out of my control" talk than there used to be when i first started in dims. thats a big improvement. it means we are understanding what our super powers are


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## Tooz (May 2, 2009)

I could be smaller.

How much smaller? Probably not much. That's okay with me, though. When I was younger, I did have a phase (maybe age 7 to age 15?) where I was awful at eating, and kind of did the binge and hoard thing. I don't know why I did-- I don't do it now, and have not done it in some time. I've never been skinny (mainstream definition), and even in times of reduced intake and high (I mean VERY high) amounts of physical activity, I've never lost more than ~20 pounds. The second I go back to a more normal diet/normal amount of exercise, it comes back. My body tends to hover within four pounds: 388 and 392. It's very hard for me to gain, and very hard for me to lose. If I went to the gym every night and ate around 1800 calories a day, I'd say I could get to MAYBE 350.

I figure it's genetics, coupled with just some weird tendency to be this big. Sometimes I really feel that my body is made for it, which shows in my 26" (before hair!) head circumference, my broad shoulders, my 10 1/2" ankles and wide, 10 1/2-sized duck feet.

So yeah, that's what I think.

P.S. At my smallest, I was a size 18. I was on the swim team. I was 8. If you see me in pictures, I was SKINNY. I might get it from my mother. In the late 70s, she did Weight Watchers and got down to 210 pounds, and you could count her ribs. Again, there are pictures, and it's kinda weird!


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## olwen (May 2, 2009)

Some of my early food related memories are of me wondering why I was bigger than everyone else in my family when we were all eating the same food. Or wondering why I wasn't getting smaller when I was eating melba toast and grapefruit and cottage cheese everyday for breakfast and everyone else was eating like bacon and eggs. 

Now after three years of regular exercise, my weight is still the same. I am just fat and that's that. So, I've stopped asking that question. At this point in my life it doesn't matter. I've always been fat and I always will be and that's okay by me.


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## Tania (May 2, 2009)

superodalisque said:


> i believe it would be healthier to take control of the choices a person makes instead of creating a pretense of blaming the weight on some emotional trauma suffered half a lifetime ago.
> ...
> in my opinion a person should not be fat unless they like being fat just as they shouldn't be thin unless they like being thin.



Unfortunately, it's not always that simple - particularly when real, clinical disorders are involved. 

I think that in order to "take control of one's choices" in a healthy manner, one has to understand what one's alternatives really are, and learn which choices and circumstances will lead to healthy, sustainable outcomes. And you can't do this unless you know WHY you're fat, or if in fact you really are "fat" at all (which is my issue - I've only recently come to understand that I'm not as fat or hideous as I once believed). 

For example, conquering body dysmorphic disorder is not a simple matter of "lose weight if you want to," because the logical result would be a death diet. Further, anorexic and bulemic fasting (or purging, depending on your flavor of bulemia) mechanisms can be described as means of "taking control of the choices a person makes," yet they can hardly be lauded as healthy or sustainable. In fact, many eating disorders are less about being fat or thin than they are about power and control - gaining control over one's circumstances and one's body in response to abuse, social anxiety, or a number of other influences. In time, power and weight loss (or protection and weight gain, in some cases) become so intertwined and conflated as to be indistinguishable. 

And as many eating disorders are pendular (incorporating elements of binging and fasting/purging), the end result is often a metabolism that can't reasonably be expected to support an ideal or even average body with conventionally healthy diet and exercise. This is exceptionally frustrating for those with skewed body image. 

In my experience, simply addressing my weight/size hasn't been helpful in my quest for comfort and self-acceptance. I'm probably happier now at size 14-18 than I was at size 6, and the main difference between me now and me then is my current ability to contextualize the origins of my eating disorder coping mechanisms. More on that here.


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## AuntHen (May 5, 2009)

I eat the wrong food for my problem..as I stated in another post.. I have PCOS, so any sugar, processed foods store as fat. It is soooo hard for me to lose any weight unless I am super strict, If any of u don't know PCOS, it is also referred to or similar to Sydrome X, Insulin resistance etc. and it SUCKS your big TOE!!


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## Tracyarts (May 5, 2009)

I made some conscious choices that helped lead to my getting fat. Mainly that the benefits of maintaining a thin figure didn't outweigh the costs of the very strict diet and exercise regime required to do so. 

For many years, I followed a diet and exercise regime to maintain a weight that was still low enough to not interfere with my health and mobility and not prevent me from leading a very active life or prevent me from doing things I really enjoyed that might have a size or weight limit. And that was pretty much my plan on how I would continue to live out my life. Fat but not to the point where it took anything away from my quality of life.

Until I hurt my back, which triggered a really ugly vicious cycle. Chronic pain - reduced mobility - decreased activity level - eating too much for my decreased activity level - gaining more weight - increased back pain - losing more mobility, etc... The more I gained, the worse my back hurt, so the less I was able to stand and walk until it got so bad that I was on the verge of not even being able to get around inside my apartment and thus becoming totally wheelchair bound.

Getting into that state was easy. Just eating what I wanted and sitting on my butt so my back wouldn't hurt. Getting back out of it has been an ongoing struggle where I have had to put serious effort into reclaiming every single minute of "on foot" time. When my back is really bothering me I can't move around as much, so I have to eat less in order to not gain weight back and make the back pain even worse. Sometimes it sucks to meet my daily nutritional needs but reach my calorie limit before I feel satisfied. But, for now, being able to walk a little more is worth the cost of having to eat a lot less, so I deal with it. I am hoping that I can continue to deal with it until I have lost enough weight to alleviate my back pain to the point where I can be active enough that I don't have to be so strict about food intake.

Tracy


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## smithnwesson (May 11, 2009)

I thought I posted on this thread late last night, but apparently I screwed up and didn't save it or sumptin' (just finished working a 13hr shift). Possibly I violated a forum policy and the post got deleted. If that's the case, please delete it again and let me know what I did wrong, so I won't do what ever it was again.

*3500 Calories = 1 pound.*

Regardless of genetics, hypoactive thyroids, pituitary abnormalities, slow metabolic rates, etc: It just isn't possible to gain a pound without eating and absorbing 3500 Calories more than you expend.

The reason is that the Calorie is a unit of energy. If you gain a pound (= to 3500 Calories of energy stored), then that energy has got to come from somewhere. This is basic high school science - the 1st Law of Thermodynamics. (Energy can be neither created or destroyed.) If you've got a miniature nuclear reactor or an internal combustion engine inside, well then OK. Otherwise ya gotta eat those 3500 Calories.:eat2:

If the above were not true, then we wouldn't need gas for our cars, batteries for our cell phones, and the electric utility companies would be totally fuct.

(Just finished another 13hr shift.) - Jim


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## TallFatSue (May 11, 2009)

smithnwesson said:


> If the above were not true, then we wouldn't need gas for our cars, batteries for our cell phones, and the electric utility companies would be totally fuct.


Nahhhh, the electric utility companies simply wouldn't exist in the first place. But undoubtedly we'd have to grapple with something else that we can't live with and can't live without. That's a consequence of living on a planet completely infested with humans. 

On my drive to work I heard a radio promo for a medical talk show called "The Doctors" and the shocking dicovery of rocket fuel in baby formula. That grabbed my attention, because sometimes I joke that I'm so tall and fat because I was born in 1957 just before Sputnik was launched, so my parents must have put rocket fuel in my baby formula. Maybe it's no joke? 

It turned out "The Doctors" were talking about trace amounts of a certain chemical used in rocket fuel called perchlorate that was found in some baby formula somewhere, not rocket fuel itself. This same chemical is also found in ordinary drinking water. That's why I take just about everything with a grain of salt, until I hear all the facts. My food in the 1950s and 1960s was loaded with so many chemicals and preservatives which nowadays are described almost as toxic waste, that I must be a walking chemistry set. But all things considered, I turned out pretty well if I do say so myself, and we now enjoy some of our longest lifespans and highest standards of living in human history. That may also explain the, er, chemistry between my husband and me. :smitten:


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## TallFatSue (May 11, 2009)

Tracyarts said:


> I made some conscious choices that helped lead to my getting fat. Mainly that the benefits of maintaining a thin figure didn't outweigh the costs of the very strict diet and exercise regime required to do so.
> 
> For many years, I followed a diet and exercise regime to maintain a weight that was still low enough to not interfere with my health and mobility and not prevent me from leading a very active life or prevent me from doing things I really enjoyed that might have a size or weight limit. And that was pretty much my plan on how I would continue to live out my life. Fat but not to the point where it took anything away from my quality of life.



My sentiments exactly. I've been fat since I was 9lb 10oz, and it was obvious that I could either starve myself the rest of my days to be thin, or I could accept my fat and lead a rich productive life. I couldn't possibly do both. Last year, though, I found my limit when I was briefly over 500lb and began to have some mobility issues and other problems. After I made a few minor adjustments (like cutting back on my business travel and eating at all hours), my weight settled back down around 450-460lb and my body feels nice and comfy again. Apart from the usual aches and pains of age now that I'm over 50, my vital signs continue to be good, so my policy of informed obesity management has proven to be a wise decision. I'm certainly a happier person than I might otherwise be.


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## Jon Blaze (May 11, 2009)

smithnwesson said:


> I thought I posted on this thread late last night, but apparently I screwed up and didn't save it or sumptin' (just finished working a 13hr shift). Possibly I violated a forum policy and the post got deleted. If that's the case, please delete it again and let me know what I did wrong, so I won't do what ever it was again.
> 
> *3500 Calories = 1 pound.*
> 
> ...




But this can only be said if all assumes that all systems are completely efficient, which per the second law of thermodynamics isn't true.

It's perfectly fine to use those things as a comparison, but one has to take into the account that those things (Just like our bodies) can vary greatly depending on a number of things.

Also: What you take in needs to be a factor as well. As you know, there are three major sources that we can reap energy from, but *none of them have the sole purpose of just providing energy as storage.* Every person needs a certain amount of fat, protein, and carbs simply for their bodies to function, so you can't start at the first kilocalorie that someone eats as being "Storage," because that could be the first calorie that repairs cells, helps manufacture hormones, to make a nail, etc. This is why calculating this sort of thing is difficult.


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## snipermb435 (May 11, 2009)

missy_blue_eyez said:


> So, Ive been thinking this evening about the reasons why I am fat. Im going to try and word this best as I can so you all understand but Im asking more for psychological reasons if you know? Memories, things that have happened etc?
> 
> What bought this on is I have watched a program this evening about obese teenagers asking the NHS for gastric band operations. The main thing I noticed about the way these teenagers were dealt with is that it didnt seem that counselling was offered to any of them to decipher the root causes of there obesity/eating habits etc. For instance, one Dr asked one young girl about her family history etc, and about relationships, but it didnt seem like it was taken any further (maybe just televisual editing etc) but neither was long term counselling mentioned. This young girl was also asked 'Why do you want this operation?' To which she replied 'Because I want to be skinny, I want to look like Jordan aka Katie Price, I want to have big boobs.' Now, that rang alarm bells with me, and made me think, 'Why the hell arent these kids being offered self esteem classes, counselling, etc etc?' To me, I am all about the mental causes which lead to obesity, and I personally feel, especially after watching this program that counselling and dealing with those reasons first and foremost could possibley be the major part into dealing with obesity long term for the British government. Now, yeh I know, Im no Dr, and there just my thoughts. But initially after some of these thoughts I got to thinking about some of my own past behaviour regarding food, and eating. For myself personally, I would much rather these teenagers/young adults had £15,000 worth of counselling, psychological help, personal training and a nutritionist rather then being plunged into £15,000 worth of surgery without them really understanding there behaviour as I feel that it would be much more beneficial long term. But thats just me.
> 
> ...



I have been waiting for one of these Threads to surface.
Well for me, lets go back 13 years, At that time i was 10 and weighted about 65 pounds and well scrawny little thing nobody takes a look at. Well most of us where at that time. Anyway, this was when i lived in england(british by birth) and the fat plague as i will call it hadn't started.

Now By fat Plague(this is my interpretation) i mean todays view of fat or thin people around the world. Most people today are obsessed about being thin, and then you have people who say i am beautiful no matter what. I wont judge you on that by any means, fat, thin or in-between. 

Now back to me, as i said i was scrawny, bones and skin, etc, and i at this age was a little shit(most of us were), but in school or out i would call a girl fat just as a joke and i soon found out( the hard way) it hurt them, so i stopped, kinda locked in that sense of be polite and curtious to anyone and so today thats why most women think i am a false. because i am so nice.

Now, after this fact, i started top notice all the girls/women around me for who they where fat thin, who cared, but this one girl mf best friend she was curvy, delicious even. And i said tomyself, still do, she looks so attractive. So i guess for me it started back when i was 10-13. Now lets not leave tv out of this shall we. TV played a huge role in my life when i was younger and now adays not so much, but the cartoons where probably the cause and catalyst of me loving fat.

Now i could go on and tell you about these cartoon, except most of you have seen them, but episodes which involve eating and getting fat or inflation and growing i guess did it for me. and because of that i started to gain weight and look healthier and what not, but because of this i started to gain more weight then needed and so forth. 

Now when i moved to the states i had dislexia, still have it, but it was also my main problem as to why i was skinny, learning disbility sucks and so when not a soul knows how to deal with it, they leave ya alone put ya at the back of the class and forget about you, this all happened to me in england, but not here in the states. They helped me, got rid of my anger and reason to consume lots of food as comfort, and i controlled my grades and weight.

Now, flash forward though highschool, and to where i am now, i am not a small guy, i am 6'1 and 255 pounds, built like a linebacker,lol, but i am fat, only word for it around, my belly, is on most guys. And i am not ashamed, i am comfortable as i am and i dont need a six pack to prove otherwise. And today being such, I have friends who are thick, small, thin or fat, and i dont judge them. But i will say this, I do love full figured women.:blush:

So, missy_blue_eyez does this answer your question? hope so.


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## DuskyJewel (May 11, 2009)

I was a very small baby, a bit over 5lbs, and have been making up time ever since. 

While I am no paradigm of a perfectly healthy diet, I am not left center compared to my thin friends, yet I sit here at 400+ and 5'2". My only issue of late has been mobility, but I just had blood work done last week and I am as healthy as a horse (148 cholesterol, all hormones/thyroid, etc normal) without flu shots and never a cold or flu. I cannot explain why I am so much heavier than my compatriots although a doctor once said that my body was just more efficient than everyone else and could do more with fewer calories so anything over 1,250 was unnecessary.

I am unwilling to live my life worried about a specific weight or size. I just worry about my overall health and ability to navigate the world. I do need to take some weight off so that I can be more active and get out more. However, I am over wondering why and just accepting what is and fixing what needs to be fixed.


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## MissToodles (May 12, 2009)

smithnwesson said:


> I thought I posted on this thread late last night, but apparently I screwed up and didn't save it or sumptin' (just finished working a 13hr shift). Possibly I violated a forum policy and the post got deleted. If that's the case, please delete it again and let me know what I did wrong, so I won't do what ever it was again.
> 
> *3500 Calories = 1 pound.*
> 
> ...



honestly, I'm not picking on you, but this doesn't explain basal metabolic rate, among other things. For example, I don't know my BMR, but I do know once I eat over 2200 calories a day, I gain weight. I'm on what is euphemistically titled around these parts as a 'lifestyle change'. I can easily pack on the pounds if I don't watch my food intake. Some bodies are just more metabolically efficient. I honestly wish for that the 3500 equals 1 pound formula was true for me so I have to work with what I got. Not fair, but many people have all sorts of obstacles thrown at them for a variety of reasons.


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## Fud (May 19, 2009)

When I am anxious I eat. I also eat to procrastinate. I don't do either one of the previous two activities weight falls off.


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## Hathor (May 19, 2009)

I ballooned when I was around 8 y/o and I've been fat ever since. I've exercised, but have never been able to drop the weight. I love to eat, I exercise moderately, and my size hasn't changed in like 10 years. So it's just the way it is, but I don't treat my weight as a handicap. I work good and hard and I do all the same stuff skinny people do. I just can't ride some roller coasters at Cedar Point because I can't fit in them. 

You might say it's also genetic because both of my folks are fat. My dad's maternal side were hefties off and on, so I wonder if I got all those genes. 

Bottom line is that I love food. =) Especially the Chinese buffet which packs on the calories.


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## lypeaches (May 19, 2009)

Count me in as a skeptic on the 3500 calorie rule. I know you can't disregard calorie count entirely...but through my own anecdotal experiences (on both ends of the spectrum), there are clearly other things at play as well.

Anyway. Numerous reasons as to why I am fat. And they've all been pretty much documented here...love affair with good food, not enough exercise, stress eating, restrictive dieting, etc. But I'm curious if anyone else had this happen to them.... 

I was a scrawny, underweight kid. To the point my parents were worried about it. Then, at age 6, I had my tonsils and adenoids removed. Within a year I had doubled my body weight. Ever since, I gain weight very easily. The rest of my family is what I would describe as average. Not exactly skinny, but no one else is even close to fat, except one cousin. 

Anyone else? I've always wondered about it...


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## Hathor (May 21, 2009)

lypeaches said:


> But I'm curious if anyone else had this happen to them....
> 
> I was a scrawny, underweight kid. To the point my parents were worried about it. Then, at age 6, I had my tonsils and adenoids removed. Within a year I had doubled my body weight. Ever since, I gain weight very easily. The rest of my family is what I would describe as average. Not exactly skinny, but no one else is even close to fat, except one cousin.
> 
> Anyone else? I've always wondered about it...



I never had anything removed like that, but my folks were worried that I was underweight until I was 8y/o and then it was like _wham!_ It's just the female side of my family is heavy, so there is obviously something genetic unlike in your family.


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## mel (Jun 28, 2009)

lack of exercise...and maybe some long lost genetics


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## tinkerbell (Jul 7, 2009)

I'm fat for a few reasons.

Genetics - My Mom's family is Mexican, and all the women have curves, even the skinny ones . I'm built similar to my Aunt and Grandma - we're bigger than the rest of the women - taller, bigger feet/hands etc. My mom is fat too, but she was very thin up until she had 3 children. 

I was bigger than my sisters growing up, and was constantly being told that I was fat (even though I wasn't a 'fat kid' - just bigger), ugly, etc by them just helped me develop a bad relationship with food and binging and eating when sad/upset etc. And the weight gain really started in 7th grade.

As I got older, I was not very active, and ate a lot. 

Now that I eat better (NO DIETS! and I still eat "bad" food, just not as much) and am very active, the weight is starting to fall off, slowly. I dont expect to ever be "skinny", but I dont want to be as fat as I allowed myself to get by eating poorly and not being active. I'm lucky that I've never had any health problems related to my weight, but I know with my genetics (Hispanic heritage with close relatives with high bp and diabetes) that wasn't going to last long. 

I feel much better now, physically and mentally. Like much MUCH better. And I'm in better shape than most of the skinny people I know.


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