# I've got something that makes her hot



## Bearsy (Apr 12, 2010)

But she's got a boyfriend. 

:/

I got some drunk texts from the girl I like, saying(paraphrased and with spelling/grammar corrections cause she was obviously hammered...
"I wish we could be hanging out right now. I'm stupid drunk and I feel like you'd be the best one to share it with."
"I want to... I want to be with you but I'm with Rob. You intrigue me. I'm in love with your words. Sorry I'm a little drunk." 
"Lets make a promise that we will hang out more" 
I told her I was glad she told me, cause I too am into her and she replies
"Holy damn. I'm like intrigued and some sexually by you. You've got something that makes me hot."

I don't know where to go with this, she's in a real solid relationship with a great guy. I don't want to mess up what they've got, but I really like this girl. What's the etiquette here? I don't want to hold off too long and get friend-zoned for the hundredth time.


----------



## Bearsy (Apr 12, 2010)

I think I'm gonna make her a mixtape


----------



## chicken legs (Apr 12, 2010)

Bearsy said:


> I think I'm gonna make her a mixtape



Please don't give her a mixtape. Unless she asked you to make her a mixtape of her favorite artists, or you plan on test driving your mixtape on her before you decide to market it to the general population for profit.

Just be cool, and say if things don't workout with the guy she is with and your free ... its a date. Dangle your tasty goodness like a carrot on a stick.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya (Apr 12, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> *Please don't give her a mixtape*. Unless she asked you to make her a mixtape of her favorite artists, or you plan on test driving your mixtape on her before you decide to market it to the general population for profit.
> 
> Just be cool, and say if things don't workout with the guy she is with and your free ... its a date. Dangle your tasty goodness like a carrot on a stick.



hahahaha, funniest shit . .. ever.


----------



## Bearsy (Apr 12, 2010)

Haha I was kidding about the mixtape... yeah we're just gonna keep hanging out still I guess. I'm gonna try and increase the frequency though.


----------



## chicken legs (Apr 12, 2010)

LOL..ok

you had me worried there for a minute.


----------



## escapist (Apr 12, 2010)

Ok I gotta know, would this be the same cute FFA that we saw cuddling and hugging on you so obviously loving it? ....if so all we can say is, MAN WE TOLD YOU SO! lol.


----------



## Esther (Apr 12, 2010)

Yeah, hold off on that one. Now that you know how she feels... I wouldn't even hang out with her, if I were you. That's just putting yourself in a situation that could quickly become shitty for everyone involved. Put yourself in her boyfriend's shoes: how pissed would you be if another man was hanging out with your girlfriend behind your back? Until she is serious enough to break up with her current boyfriend... not sweet.



...Man, I hate people who do shit like this. Dating someone and sending mixed signals to their friends. It's not fair for anyone. If you don't like your current boyfriend/girlfriend, do him/her a favour and leave.


----------



## Bearsy (Apr 12, 2010)

escapist said:


> Ok I gotta know, would this be the same cute FFA that we saw cuddling and hugging on you so obviously loving it? ....if so all we can say is, MAN WE TOLD YOU SO! lol.



Haha, no, it's someone else entirely.


----------



## stldpn (Apr 12, 2010)

Well, for one, if she were in a solid relationship she wouldn't be asking to spend time with you. Especially knowing that the feelings are mutual. But before you go off daydreaming about the happy ending, you should really honestly consider backing off for a little bit. 

This has a lot of potential to become really ugly. And don't get me wrong, it's not my desire to disparage this girl, but do you really want to pursue someone who may be in a habit of forming a new relationship before she's free from the old one? 

If I were in your shoes, I would only hang out with her if you could manage to do so in a strictly platonic fashion. Girls with boyfriends who choose to hang out on somebody else's couch and make out are generally pretty confused about what they want. She may think she has a thing for you because you're obviously into her and a decent guy, but she can change her mind about that without giving you the common courtesy of a few parting words.  Don't get suckered in, giving your time is one thing, but giving your love to someone who isn't free is risky at best.


----------



## hot'n fluffy (Apr 12, 2010)

I have a "friend", and I know for a fact she has a bf, but never the less she sends me texts all the time, telling me she misses hanging out w me, and if I would come and get her when her bf goes to work, and she has come to my place of employment on the weekends when I'm there, and not very many ppl are around, and she wants to "cuddle up".

At first it was fun, and I kinda liked the attention, and this girl being 18 is a big boost to my ego, but I have come to realize that it is a dangerous game she is playing, maybe just using me to get her bf jealous, or she is playing the field...

she has text me late at night, and asking if I'm thinking about her.
I have stopped encouraging her texts, by not answering, or if she comes to see me, I'll just pretend to be very busy, and after a while she leaves.

Just watch your back, like I said, she may be just playing games w/your head.


----------



## stldpn (Apr 12, 2010)

hot'n fluffy said:


> I have a "friend", and I know for a fact she has a bf, but never the less she sends me texts all the time, telling me she misses hanging out w me, and if I would come and get her when her bf goes to work, and she has come to my place of employment on the weekends when I'm there, and not very many ppl are around, and she wants to "cuddle up".
> 
> At first it was fun, and I kinda liked the attention, and this girl being 18 is a big boost to my ego, but I have come to realize that it is a dangerous game she is playing, maybe just using me to get her bf jealous, or she is playing the field...
> 
> ...



You know I've seen BBWs complain that there are lots of closeted FAs with somewhat similar behavior. I was always somewhat curious about it myself. The one FFA gf I've had actually made me question whether or not she was "really wanting to keep me to herself" or just "didn't want to be seen with me" since our brief time together (4 months)was spent primarily indoors and not being sociable with her friends and family. I mean I met her mom, and I met a few of her close friends but it's not as though she paraded me around and introduced me as a BF. It's funny how weight can change your perception of things...


----------



## Geodetic_Effect (Apr 16, 2010)

just go for it.


----------



## spiritangel (Apr 16, 2010)

Bearsy DONT DO IT karma is a total bitch and it will bite you on the butt when if you do steal her away she does this to you, be strong be mega mega strong, your awesome and someone who is available will recognise that and want to be with you!

Also think of it this way if you play with fire you will eventually get burned what if by encouraging her and going after her you miss out on your twin flame, the person you are meant to spend the rest of your life with?


----------



## extra_fat_guy (Apr 16, 2010)

How would you feel if this was happening to you? My ex was dating 2 other guys while she was with me. Not sure what she was telling the other guys, but she just claimed to be friends with the other 2 guys. One of the guys figured it out, and tried to warn me but I didn't listen. It really hurts to find out that someone you love is cheating on you. So tell her if she wants to be with you she needs to end it with the other guy, or you can not keep talking to her. You wouldn't want someone your dating to be texting or talking to another guy the way she is with you.


----------



## FishCharming (Apr 16, 2010)

umm, this may make me sound like a complete bastard but, i'd say go for it. just realize that that's all she is ever going to be for you though. If she's willing to cheat on her guy with you then she's probably willing to cheat on you with another guy... You can't turn a ho into a housewife, they just don't act right... 
but by all means, if you think you can keep up a physical relationship with this girl without going all gooey eyes on her then go for it. 

I have a very similar thing going on with a girl who's married. we have tons of mutual interests and some history but we're in different places in our lives with what we want so we keep it what it is. I do really like her and that kind of makes it worse b/c even if she leaves her husband i'm not interested in taking his place and risking the same thing happening down the road with another guy.


----------



## Esther (Apr 16, 2010)

I personally think if someone's willing to fuck a girl/guy who is taken, they are just as much of an asshole as the person doing the cheating. It's not right to place all the blame on the cheater.


----------



## Bearsy (Apr 16, 2010)

No I would never do that... I'm a strong believer in karma and theres no way I'm down with an affair.


----------



## RentonBob (Apr 16, 2010)

Esther said:


> I personally think if someone's willing to fuck a girl/guy who is taken, they are just as much of an asshole as the person doing the cheating. It's not right to place all the blame on the cheater.


I agree with this wholeheartedly. And if later on down the line when that person cheats on you, don't come crying to us looking for sypathy.


----------



## FishCharming (Apr 16, 2010)

lol, i did say it would make me seem like a bastard. 

in my self defense it's not really the standard kind of affair situation... while she is definitely married and they are at least on good terms it's not exactly a marriage. they not only live in separate cities but separate states. she's alluded that the situation is part of some sort of understanding. i never really questioned her about about it because, to be frank, it's none of my business. 

as for karma (which technically only carries over into the next incarnation), my karmic bank account is pretty flush so i'm fine with any fees i accrue over this.


----------



## StridentDionysus (Apr 17, 2010)

When a person cheats on somebody they are 100% to blame. There is no alien wizard that put a spell on you to cheat on your significant other.

I'd say go for it but since you are a strong believer in bullshit... I mean karma then don't do it. Put everyone before you and live a boring life.:happy:


----------



## Esther (Apr 17, 2010)

StridentDionysus said:


> When a person cheats on somebody they are 100% to blame. There is no alien wizard that put a spell on you to cheat on your significant other.



I'm not saying that a cheater isn't 100% in the wrong for cheating. But saying "That girl cheated on her boyfriend, what a whore" while allowing the guy who fucked her while knowing she had a boyfriend off the hook... that's bullshit. It's a horrible thing for both of them to do.


----------



## extra_fat_guy (Apr 17, 2010)

StridentDionysus said:


> When a person cheats on somebody they are 100% to blame. There is no alien wizard that put a spell on you to cheat on your significant other.
> 
> I'd say go for it but since you are a strong believer in bullshit... I mean karma then don't do it. Put everyone before you and live a boring life.:happy:



So being a good person is living a boring life?


----------



## rabbitislove (Apr 17, 2010)

Esther said:


> I'm not saying that a cheater isn't 100% in the wrong for cheating. But saying "That girl cheated on her boyfriend, what a whore" while allowing the guy who fucked her while knowing she had a boyfriend off the hook... that's bullshit. It's a horrible thing for both of them to do.



Right on Esther. I agree with the majority. If she wants you so bad, she'll break up with him on her own.

Also, you've got something that makes me hot Bearsy


----------



## chicken legs (Apr 17, 2010)

extra_fat_guy said:


> So being a good person is living a boring life?



usually but you do save alot of money, time, trouble playing it safe.


----------



## HDANGEL15 (Apr 17, 2010)

_Originally Posted by extra_fat_guy 
So being a good person is living a boring life?_



chicken legs said:


> usually but you do save alot of money, time, trouble playing it safe.



*Agreed and if a boring life means NO DRAMA.....SIGN ME UP *


----------



## Surlysomething (Apr 17, 2010)

I think she's just messing with your head. Because she can.


I hate bitches like that.


----------



## Paquito (Apr 17, 2010)

don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it


----------



## spiritangel (Apr 17, 2010)

I think there is a difference to being a good person and living a boring life

good people can have fun, enjoy life and do crazy things they just dont go out of their way to hurt anyone else in the process, I think it is very sad that being a good person is ascossiated with being boring and not having any sort of life


----------



## StridentDionysus (Apr 18, 2010)

Being a "good person" *is* boring. I don't have a problem with fooling around with someone who is in a relationship with somebody else, they're the ones braking their "commitment" not me.

I would never call a woman that cheats on her boyfriend/husband a whore (or a slut). She just isn't good girlfriend/wife material. :happy:

Personally, knowing what you know, I'd try and steal her from the other guy. You could suffer bad consequences (what you call karma). Of course there is the possibility that you have good consequences (like being with a girl you like) but yeah, don't do it.


----------



## stldpn (Apr 18, 2010)

FishCharming said:


> You can't turn a ho into a housewife, they just don't act right...



my personal favorite twist on this line is..

She's a predator posing as a house cat.

Women who do this sort of thing (not always but mostly) simply have a very loose sense of fidelity. And they can be a lot of fun but, they also pump up the drama/jealousy level in an almost intentional manner. Personally, I've seen friends get into some ridiculously manipulative relationships because they were willing to just "accept" being Mr Standby.


----------



## veil (Apr 25, 2010)

Bearsy said:


> But she's got a boyfriend.
> 
> :/
> 
> I got some drunk texts from the girl I like, saying(paraphrased and with spelling/grammar corrections cause she was obviously hammered...



oh good, so she can only express her true feelings when trashed. already we are off to a promising start!



> "I wish we could be hanging out right now. I'm stupid drunk and I feel like you'd be the best one to share it with."
> "I want to... I want to be with you but I'm with Rob. You intrigue me. I'm in love with your words. Sorry I'm a little drunk."



"you satisfy my need for attention & validation, but i'm going to mention my boyfriend because it allows me to pull you closer without the terror of intimacy and commitment"





> "Lets make a promise that we will hang out more"
> I told her I was glad she told me, cause I too am into her and she replies
> "Holy damn. I'm like intrigued and some sexually by you. You've got something that makes me hot."



"i'm not willing to take a risk and break up with my boyfriend, but i need the attention. i am attracted to you, but not enough to actually do something about it."



> I don't know where to go with this, she's in a real solid relationship with a great guy. I don't want to mess up what they've got, but I really like this girl. What's the etiquette here? I don't want to hold off too long and get friend-zoned for the hundredth time.



i'm not going to say this girl is a bad person, or even consciously saying the things i am interpreting. she is probably nice, and friendly and great, but honestly (and i speak from experience, as i acted a bit like this girl in my early twenties) she has shit that needs to be sorted out. i've been working with young women for a bit now through my grad program and it sounds like she is likely very insecure and doesn't have the ability (at present) to define herself and find validity and security in her identity outside of her romantic/sexual relationships.

i know i could be wrong, but everything about what you've mentioned leads both my heart & my mind to believe that she would not be a healthy partner.

if you have the solidity of ego to try something with her and get rejected, sure, go for it. the odds of her going back to her boyfriend with weeping apologies after fooling around with you a bit are very high. if you really care for her the possibility of you getting hurt by this are very high. if you are willing to take those risks go ahead, but the house always wins and the status quo always gets reinforced. my bff is a guy, and i saw this happen to him. sadly, i did it when i was about twenty and really screwed up. 

whatever you decide, i hope it goes well and you end up happy.


----------



## OneWickedAngel (Apr 25, 2010)

Well stated Veil.

Add me to the "DON'T DO IT" pile. If you have to "take her from him" then she is never really yours. Let her go and keep her at arms distance. If she breaks up with her current boyfriend, I'd start slow in the beginning to see where her head/heart really is. And you really feel you can make a go of it after that, then I wish you the best of luck and love.


----------



## Zowie (Apr 25, 2010)

Is there anyone in the "DO IT" pile?

I say, go for it. It'll probably have a terrible outcome, but you only live once.


----------



## Saoirse (Apr 26, 2010)

bionic_eggplant said:


> Is there anyone in the "DO IT" pile?
> 
> I say, go for it. It'll probably have a terrible outcome, but you only live once.



Ahhhgreeed.


----------



## extra_fat_guy (Apr 26, 2010)

You never really know how it feels till it happens to you. Honestly if it ever happens again, and I know the guy he would get his ass kicked. Since I wouldn't ever hit a woman he is going to have to take it for her. Some people wouldn't just stop at that.


----------



## stldpn (Apr 26, 2010)

extra_fat_guy said:


> You never really know how it feels till it happens to you. Honestly if it ever happens again, and I know the guy he would get his ass kicked. Since I wouldn't ever hit a woman he is going to have to take it for her. Some people wouldn't just stop at that.



I have to say, I've felt that. Having had the experience at a young age of coming home after a few weeks away and finding out my fiance and my roommate were "too close." I'd have a difficult time doing it to someone else. It's the type of thing that can take years to get over. And sometimes, even then, you find yourself more apt to be suspicious when you know it's unfair. I think it can be even worse if you're a little sensitive about your over all attractiveness already and someone does this to you.


----------



## likeitmatters (Apr 29, 2010)

hot'n fluffy said:


> I have a "friend", and I know for a fact she has a bf, but never the less she sends me texts all the time, telling me she misses hanging out w me, and if I would come and get her when her bf goes to work, and she has come to my place of employment on the weekends when I'm there, and not very many ppl are around, and she wants to "cuddle up".
> 
> At first it was fun, and I kinda liked the attention, and this girl being 18 is a big boost to my ego, but I have come to realize that it is a dangerous game she is playing, maybe just using me to get her bf jealous, or she is playing the field...
> 
> ...





how about telling her that she is just a player and you are not interested in being her friend and tell her to stop texting her? why lead her on unless she is braindead.

I do not understand now or ever why people do not tell the truth and stop sugar coating everything in life? it will hurt more or less but at least you are telling the truth....


----------



## gobettiepurple (Apr 29, 2010)

likeitmatters said:


> how about telling her that she is just a player and you are not interested in being her friend and tell her to stop texting her? why lead her on unless she is braindead.
> 
> I do not understand now or ever why people do not tell the truth and stop sugar coating everything in life? it will hurt more or less but at least you are telling the truth....



*Sometimes people "sugar-coat" as you defined the term above, because they fear that they may hurt someone with the truth. I think a lot of people on this board have already said to give her, in essence, an ultimatum of sorts: Either she is interested in you or not, and if she is, she has to get rid of her bf. 

It may be a painful process to disentangle yourself from her, especially since you really sound like you genuinely have affection for her, but perhaps that affection is misplaced and she is just feeding of the attention that she is getting from you.

Either way, you will have all the clarity you need. Plus, you don't need friends like that - that will blur the lines for their own thirst for attention. And you deserve to know where you stand with her - so stand up and voice it!*


----------



## BigChaz (Apr 29, 2010)

Kill her and all of your problems go away













































































what are you looking at?


----------



## gobettiepurple (Apr 30, 2010)

BigChaz said:


> Kill her and all of your problems go away



*Because if he can't have her no one can?

Wow . . . I am at a loss for something to say, and I always have something to say . . . *


----------



## OneWickedAngel (Apr 30, 2010)

gobettiepurple said:


> *Because if he can't have her no one can?
> 
> Wow . . . I am at a loss for something to say, and I always have something to say . . . *



Whoa! Breathe Betty! 

Some of us Dimmers have a really, and I mean _really_ wicked/snarky/sneaky/sarcastic sense of humor. As you hang around Dims more you'll start getting used to the various personalities. I promise you Chaz' tongue was planted firmly in cheek when he wrote that.


----------



## Paquito (Apr 30, 2010)

gobettiepurple said:


> *Because if he can't have her no one can?
> 
> Wow . . . I am at a loss for something to say, and I always have something to say . . . *





OneWickedAngel said:


> Whoa! Breathe Betty!
> 
> Some of us Dimmers have a really, and I mean _really_ wicked/snarky/sneaky/sarcastic sense of humor. As you hang around Dims more you'll start getting used to the various personalities. I promise you Chaz' tongue was planted firmly in cheek when he wrote that.



Yea, I mean we just save the death threats for Hyde Park. No worries. :happy:


----------



## LovesBigMen (Apr 30, 2010)

gobettiepurple said:


> *Because if he can't have her no one can?
> 
> Wow . . . I am at a loss for something to say, and I always have something to say . . . *



Haha I am still getting used to this sarcasm my self I even had nothing to say to what he said Hahaha kinda push me back a few, but then I was like its just a joke. . . I hope.:happy:


----------



## rabbitislove (Apr 30, 2010)

OneWickedAngel said:


> Whoa! Breathe Betty!
> 
> Some of us Dimmers have a really, and I mean _really_ wicked/snarky/sneaky/sarcastic sense of humor. As you hang around Dims more you'll start getting used to the various personalities. I promise you Chaz' tongue was planted firmly in cheek when he wrote that.



Chaz can always stick his tongue in my cheek. HI - OH! 

In all seriousness, thats just Chaz. I love his black sense of humour, being a (future) social worker I appreciate it hardcore


----------



## LovesBigMen (Apr 30, 2010)

rabbitislove said:


> Chaz can always stick his tongue in my cheek. HI - OH!
> 
> In all seriousness, thats just Chaz. I love his black sense of humour, being a (future) social worker I appreciate it hardcore




Ah haha, and I should be used to it even more since I have a group of friends that are very sarcastic just like that haha.


----------



## BigChaz (Apr 30, 2010)

Make love not war, folks


----------



## BigChaz (Apr 30, 2010)

Unless you play with my heart, then I will kill you.


----------



## BigChaz (Apr 30, 2010)

Just kidding. Or am I!?!?!?!?


----------



## rabbitislove (Apr 30, 2010)

dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuuun!


----------



## LovesBigMen (Apr 30, 2010)

Haha your so serious I don't know.


----------



## Paquito (Apr 30, 2010)

The plot thickens, like my waistline.


----------



## gobettiepurple (Apr 30, 2010)

OneWickedAngel said:


> Whoa! Breathe Betty!
> 
> Some of us Dimmers have a really, and I mean _really_ wicked/snarky/sneaky/sarcastic sense of humor. As you hang around Dims more you'll start getting used to the various personalities. I promise you Chaz' tongue was planted firmly in cheek when he wrote that.



*I should have added an "LOL" - even though I wouldnt really laugh aloud and I hate the frequent and generious use of the term, because i thought it was really funny. I am always suprised that people can in one breathe criticize for taking something personal while at the same time completely misconstruing the intent of the post . . .

perhaps we shouldn't assume tone in a forum where there is no way to discern.

But alas, I digress. I got his sacrasm and obviously failed at adding my own.*


----------



## Paquito (May 1, 2010)

gobettiepurple said:


> *I should have added an "LOL" - even though I wouldnt really laugh aloud and I hate the frequent and generious use of the term, because i thought it was really funny. I am always suprised that people can in one breathe criticize for taking something personal while at the same time completely misconstruing the intent of the post . . .
> 
> perhaps we shouldn't assume tone in a forum where there is no way to discern.
> 
> But alas, I digress. I got his sacrasm and obviously failed at adding my own.*



See, if it had just been the first statement, then I would've taken it as sarcasm. It was just the second half that threw me off.


----------



## lovelocs (May 1, 2010)

FishCharming said:


> You can't turn a ho into a housewife, they just don't act right...



On the street, after he has cashed the check, he stops for a drink.
"Ah don' know, a woman's the goddamnedest animal God eveh made," he announces. "You marry 'em an' they're one thing, and damn ifen they don't turn out plumb opposite. You marry a girl that's cherry and she turns out a whore, an' you marry a whore and damn if she don't cook and sew and keep her legs clos' for everyone but you, and goddam ifen by the time she's done she don' keep 'em closed for you too."

Norman Mailer "The Naked and the Dead"



I'd counter that you can't turn anyone into anything. Women are like stocks. Past performance is not indicative of future results. As a woman who has been called a whore, (as well as a prude, a closeted lesbian, a great worker, smart as a whip, a crazy bitch, and about-the-nicest-person-you'd-ever-meet) I can tell you, many of us do not go through life acting the same way from cradle to grave. Some of us may never "act right,"  (I wish they had a more aggressive eyeroller, this one looks like he's daydreaming) but the smarter ones among us do act in our own best interest, which usually means not hurting others physically or emotionally. We may make a mistake or two, look at our counterproductive life patterns, and build on them. I may not believe in Karma per se, but I have seen revenge. 

Lastly, Mr. Bearsy, you have something which makes a lot of women hot. It's called a penis. You may want to use it with someone who is not taken. This one sounds like a hot mess.


----------



## WillSpark (May 1, 2010)

free2beme04 said:


> The plot thickens, like my waistline.


. *rimshot*


----------



## Paquito (May 1, 2010)

Pshhh, that was a slam dunk. Nothin' but net.


----------



## WillSpark (May 1, 2010)

Briiiick!!!


----------



## Paquito (May 2, 2010)

You're lucky, that's about as far as my basketball lingo goes.


----------

