# The Fat Girl Meets the Parents



## TallFatSue (Sep 18, 2006)

The other night I happened to watch the animated sitcom "American Dad" -- first time I've ever seen it. In that episode, Son falls in love with a Fat Girl, and Dad has a conniption fit when he sees her. Mom and Sis think Dad is over-reacting, and Son breaks up with the Fat Girl to please Dad. Eventually Son realizes he loves the Fat Girl too much to be without her, and Dad will just have to live with that. There were plenty of well-placed barbs at both fat-phobia and anorexia. All in all it was pretty well done, considering that the show was over-the-top about absolutely everything. There was also a pretty cool make-out scene, with the Fat Girl on top of the Son. The writers knew their FA terminology too, like "back fat".

That episode made me ask Art what his parents thought when they first laid eyes on me. Did he "warn" them in advance I was fat? Art said his parents asked him "So, what's Sue like?" and he told them I was rather thin and spotty with a long nose and bandy legs and nasty unpolished plywood teeth, and bad breath, and a rare foot disease. Immediately I put Art in a headlock and persuded him to tell me what he *really* said. He told them I was 20 years old (he was 18 then), very smart, witty and pretty, and clean too (methinks one of his ex-girlfriends was a scrawny greaser). He also mentioned that I was tall and very fat, so not to be surprised by my size. "Oh? How fat is she?" About 350lb, and she's 6ft tall. "Is she healthy? Can she get around all right?" Yes, she's fine. "Okay, Art, as long as you like her, we'll probably like her too." As I've mentioned elsewhere, Art didn't like fat girls when we first met, so I know his parents were surprised that he fell in love with the fattest girl he ever met. 

I remember being a trifle scared the first time I met Art's parents, that maybe they'd stare at my belly or make me sit in a rickety little chair that could hardly support its own weight, let alone mine. But they put me at ease right away, and let me sit in a nice big comfy chair that didn't break apart or swallow me. They did watch how I moved, but Art did that all the time too as he got used to having an obese girlfriend. And of course the evening wasn't complete without me getting a case of nervous hiccups once or twice. During the visit Art's parents asked a couple questions about my weight, but my impression was that they simply wanted to get to know me better, without being judgemental. Very refreshing. 

Now I'm kinda curious what experiences some of you have had, when you first met your boyfriend's / husband's parents?


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## AnnMarie (Sep 18, 2006)

I've never met a boyfriends parents/family... and I have to say the thought of it scares the beejebus out of me. I mean, I'm a nice girl, full of most social graces, generally well-spoken, etc. I carry myself well, dress for my size and don't hide it, etc. So, all in all, nothing a parent shouldn't like.... but man, I just KNOW what they're going to be thinking. I mean, I'm the fat girl and I don't even like to introduce my parents to guys I'm serious with (thank God, only had to have that dinner once in my life so far...). 

I know a lot of families are used to it, have met the other fat girls, they get it as much as possible, and they expect a fatty when they meet the new girl... but there is still that "eeeeiiiiiiiiiihhhhhhhh" feeling in my head and belly just thinking about it. 

Whew, I need a drink.


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## Carrie (Sep 18, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> I've never met a boyfriends parents/family... and I have to say the thought of it scares the beejebus out of me.



Wow. This hadn't occurred to me, but yeah, same here. When I met my ex-hubby's family I was quite a bit smaller. 

Yikes.


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## mat03 (Sep 18, 2006)

I saw that episode last night, too. It was well-done. It was refreshing to see fat portrayed in a positive light.


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## Falling Boy (Sep 18, 2006)

mat03 said:


> I saw that episode last night, too. It was well-done. It was refreshing to see fat portrayed in a positive light.




I didnt think it was all that positive. There were a few underhanded comments that the mother and daughter made. But the end was good.


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## altered states (Sep 18, 2006)

My first girlfriend was a BBW, small by Dimensions standards, but huge by my family's. My parents were casually fat phobic, dropping the usual nastiness and jokes, though not obsessed. I was terrified to bring her home, partly for my sake, but more for her and a rather delicate self esteem. I took a small but brutal amount of shit from my friends at school already, and wasn't looking forward to having to defend yet another aspect of my life to my 'rents. 

To my joy, my parents loved her. My mom (probably the most vicious fatphobe out of my 4 parents, including steps) couldn't stop talking about how pretty she was and my dad asked about her for years after we broke up. The only clue I ever had about family disapproval was way later, from a cunt of an aunt who, when she saw a picture of my current girlfriend, exclaimed "Oh - she's not really fat at all!" From that I gleaned that maybe there were a few background discussions (all my girlfriends were fairly chunky til her) about my preferences, but at least most of my family respected me enough to keep it out of my face.


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## MissToodles (Sep 18, 2006)

Well my boyfriend's dad doesn't think much of me and referred to me as a "conversation piece". But this is his dad's nature and he pretty much hates everyone. I'm sure they thought I was gigantic, I mean they thought his ex wife was absoutely enormous and when he first met her she was merely chubby.

They don't approve of my size, among other things but I don't really think much of them either. Disapproval & disdain can go both ways


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## MWBBWFanMan (Sep 18, 2006)

Family members generally dont hold back their thoughts on what they think is best for us. It's almost like they think that they KNOW what is best for us and what isn't. My little brother never has given me any grief about dating fat women and I havent given him any trouble about thinking 95 pound women look gorgeous. It seems to be a non-issue with him, which I am thankful for. Mom, on the other hand, always asks me if I am dating and if I am, the inevitable next questions is: "Is she a chunky girl" I always answer yes and then she asks me why? I have the same answer everytime. Because I love women with lotsa extra padding and meat on their bones and that the bigger the cushion the better the pushin....THat generally shuts her up and she tells me that she just wants me to be happy and get married and live a long happy, healthy life with my wife....

It is tough to meet the other family though sometimes. Especially around the holidays when you wanna bring your significant other to meet the family. My grandpa is the worst to meet. Once at a wedding he told the grooms mom that she had a fat ass. I dont think he means to be mean or hurtful....Thats just grandpa. Now I have to warn every woman that my grandpa might tell you that you have a fat ass. Then I tell them to tell him that he sure is a smart man for being so old and senile....That puts him in his place and the day goes much better. I think it's kinda like he is testing them to see how they react or something....Who knows??? 

I am always proud to bring dates to meet the family and it never bothers me one bit. I guess thats because i am not ashamed to be seen around bbw's ssbbw's. Family is going to do whatever they want to and say as they wish....THat part will never change. I'd certainly be proud to have a bbw/ssbbw on my arm at anytime. I just love to have the real "arm candy" on my arm if that makes sense. 

Great idea on the thread


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## NFA (Sep 18, 2006)

I'm not sure "back fat" qualifies as FA terminology. I was under the impression it was a derogetory reference which FA's reclaimed since its really just descriptive. The show was a mixed bag, but that alone is surprisingly positive. Some moments were stereotypical, but they didn't dwell on them. Her personality wasn't defined by her weight, but rather by her personality. For a sitcom, especially an animated cartoon, this alone was pretty stunning for a female character. She was generally presented in a positive light and the jokes at her expense weren't especially exploitative. Most of all, she was still around at the end, which was interesting in its own right.

Anyhow, my parents have met two BBW girlfriends of mine. They've definetly deduced that I'm an FA and their general philosophy would pretty much preclude them from expressing a negative opinion on that even if its not something they'd agree with or understand. They didn't talk to me about it afterwards, they didn't shun either of them. They were perfectly accepting of both women, each of whom was certainly unmistakably fat. Some parents are inclined to be nosy and easily ruffled. They'll find something to disapprove of if given ample opportunity. Others live and let live more readily. Most people are fat phobic. But few people are so fat phobic that it would matter on its own.


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## Wagimawr (Sep 18, 2006)

NFA said:


> I'm not sure "back fat" qualifies as FA terminology. I was under the impression it was a derogetory reference which FA's reclaimed since its really just descriptive. The show was a mixed bag, but that alone is surprisingly positive. Some moments were stereotypical, but they didn't dwell on them. Her personality wasn't defined by her weight, but rather by her personality. For a sitcom, especially an animated cartoon, this alone was pretty stunning for a female character. She was generally presented in a positive light and the jokes at her expense weren't especially exploitative. Most of all, she was still around at the end, which was interesting in its own right.


Seth McFarlane's good about that - he can mock and be kind to something all in the same 20 minutes.


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## Spanky (Sep 18, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> I've never met a boyfriends parents/family... and I have to say the thought of it scares the beejebus out of me. I mean, I'm a nice girl, full of most social graces, generally well-spoken, etc. I carry myself well, dress for my size and don't hide it, etc. So, all in all, nothing a parent shouldn't like.... but man, I just KNOW what they're going to be thinking. I mean, I'm the fat girl and I don't even like to introduce my parents to guys I'm serious with (thank God, only had to have that dinner once in my life so far...).



AnnMarie, if there was a "Girl we would most like to bring home to Mom and Dad" Award for the Dimensions Yearbook, you would have all of my votes! :wubu: 

Spanky


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## AnnMarie (Sep 18, 2006)

Spanky said:


> AnnMarie, if there was a "Girl we would most like to bring home to Mom and Dad" Award for the Dimensions Yearbook, you would have all of my votes! :wubu:
> 
> Spanky



LOL... awww, thanks Spanky! They won't mind if I accidentally leave my elbows on the table??


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## Spanky (Sep 18, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> LOL... awww, thanks Spanky! They won't mind if I accidentally leave my elbows on the table??



OMG, leave whatever you want on the table, AM. I feel like I am getting to talk to one of the popular girls. Thanks for responding. 

My mom, being of Italian decent, would take one look at you, assume you hadn't eaten all day, and sit you down to a big plate of spaghetti and meatballs. They have no sense of size, they assume everyone that comes in the house is skinnier than they should be. 

BTW, you're great and "you're my biggest fan", uh, you know what I mean....

-Spanky


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## AnnMarie (Sep 18, 2006)

Spanky said:


> OMG, leave whatever you want on the table, AM. I feel like I am getting to talk to one of the popular girls. Thanks for responding.
> 
> My mom, being of Italian decent, would take one look at you, assume you hadn't eaten all day, and sit you down to a big plate of spaghetti and meatballs. They have no sense of size, they assume everyone that comes in the house is skinnier than they should be.
> 
> ...




LOL... I live in a town full of Italians (well, grew up there, live about 5 mins away now) so I know the mentality of which you speak.  

Oh, and.... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, meatballs. Garlic bread, please.


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Sep 18, 2006)

This all sounds too good for an incredibly stupid failed Family Guy emulant with a touch of trite political parody.


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## EtobicokeFA (Sep 19, 2006)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> This all sounds too good for an incredibly stupid failed Family Guy emulant with a touch of trite political parody.


It surprised me too. However, it looks like they rediscovered the art of writing again.

Now if you excuss me, spanky and I are going to into the back to "discuss" who is AnnMarie's biggest fan.


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## TallFatSue (Sep 19, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> I've never met a boyfriends parents/family... and I have to say the thought of it scares the beejebus out of me. I mean, I'm a nice girl, full of most social graces, generally well-spoken, etc. I carry myself well, dress for my size and don't hide it, etc. So, all in all, nothing a parent shouldn't like.... but man, I just KNOW what they're going to be thinking. I mean, I'm the fat girl and I don't even like to introduce my parents to guys I'm serious with (thank God, only had to have that dinner once in my life so far...).


I was pretty lucky -- I think. Some of the girls Art brought home weren't exactly fashion plates, so I had easy acts to follow. After we dated a while, Art's mother described one ex-girlfriend: scrawny and greasy, with straggly hair, a huge overbite, an annoying laugh and sometimes downright rude. Art met her in one of his engineering labs and she latched onto him for a while. Maybe Art's mother exaggerated for my benefit when she said "That girl must have thought soap was made of kryptonite or something." After her, so what if I was obese? I was nice, well-groomed and friendly.  



tres huevos said:


> From that I gleaned that maybe there were a few background discussions (all my girlfriends were fairly chunky til her) about my preferences, but at least most of my family respected me enough to keep it out of my face.


This reminds me that I've talked about my parents pretty often on this board but not my in-laws. Thinking back to 1977 when I met them, Art's family might have talked behind my back, but I kinda doubt it because they talked about me to my face instead.  Besides, I already knew Art's older sister from some of my classes, which is how I met him, so it wasn't a complete surprise when Art brought home the biggest girl they ever met. Art's mother is one of those "20 questions" kind of people who sometimes gets fixated on tangents. Art warned me about his mother and said sometimes she just gets curious about certain things, but means no offense (a few years ago after Art & I had a spectacular vacation on the Big Island of Hawaii, his mother asked us a hundred zillion questions about our rental car! "What color was it? How was the mileage? Did you both drive? Etc. etc.?"). :doh:

On my 3rd or 4th visit to Art's house, I found myself alone with his mother. She fumbled around for something to talk about and finally blurted, "So ... have you always been big?"  That kinda knocked me for a loop, but by then I was halfway prepared, and reckoned she was just being her usual curious self. Well, we talked about my fat for 10 or 15 minutes! "Yes I've always been a big tall fat girl. No I've never wanted to lose weight. Yes it can be a challenge to find nice clothes at my size. No I don't usually notice how big I am, until I try to sit in a chair and don't fit. Yes my belly does get in my way sometimes. No I have no health problems. Etc. etc." She was not judgemental at all, she just was curious to know more about me, so I opened right up and told her. Not that I gave a formal presentation with slides and a pointer, but I recognized that Art's mother was utterly clueless on the subject of obesity, so that was my chance to educate her -- my way. Afterward I mentioned it to Art and asked if his mother said anything. "Not specifically, but she said she really likes you." Cool! 

Now that I think about it, whenever my mother asks "Doesn't it bother you to have that belly of yours hanging out for all the world to see?" it's not a question, it's a value judgement. On the other hand, Art's mother would never phrase it that way but if she did, it would be out of simple curiosity and concern for my comfort. 

Ah, parents.


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## whitewolfofsc (Sep 19, 2006)

I love the fox sunday lineup (Simpsons, King of the Hill, Family Guy, American dad, etc.). I thought last night's show was cool. I pointed the girl on the show out to my wife. She watched the show too. When they were making out with her on top of the son, I was shouting "Go git it, fat girl!". Rhonda was laughing at my comments. Did I mention that she is 5'10" and 400+ pounds? Nothing like a good show and laughter to loosen us up, and I won't divulge the details of what we did later on last night 

White Wolf
http://www.ioffer.com/shops/whitewolfofsc


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## Mr. 23 (Sep 19, 2006)

Yeah, bringing a girlfriend home to meet the parents is really scary, no matter what her size.

That said, once I brought my first fat girlfriend to meet the parents, the second was easier. Or at least as far as the "Oh Gawd, she's huge!" reaction went. But even so, the situation is nerve wracking. What does everyone think!!!!! Fortunately, I won't be needing to do that again.

And luckily for me, no one ever said anything about how I shouldn't date fat women. Though once my sister made a less-than-tactful comment about the way my wife carries her weight. I pointed out that I never commented on her husband's height, and such comments have not been heard since.


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## Zandoz (Sep 19, 2006)

This is one issue I fortunately never had to deal with. Being a super size fat guy myself, size was never an issue with my mom and sisters. My dad would have been another issue had he been around...the last 15 years or so of his life, he pretty much hated everyone except immediate family, and was rude and obnoxious to everyone...kind of an equal opportunity jerk. While he was alive, we did not dare bring ANYONE anywhere near home....and pretty much had to warn any new neighbors.

I only brought two ladies home to meet my mom and sisters...Both BBWs...and in both cases they were accepted as though long time friends. My wife's birthday was last week...her cards from my mom and sisters were daughter/sister cards...not "in-law" cards.

For my side of the coin, I had similar experiences both times I met the families. I was totally accepted with open arms...but in both cases, the mothers and their daughters were BBWs, so their families had no uncharted size issues to deal with. I did get a good dose of good natured teasing about non-size issues in both cases, but in both cases it was obviously nothing but in gest.


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## curvluver (Sep 19, 2006)

I always dreaded bringing new girlfriends home to meet my parents. My father was great to whoever I brought home, but my mother was (and still is) a monster to them (this continues to this day when my wife and I visit.... probably the reason we don't visit often...). 

After a while my brothers would bring their girlfriend's home as well, and we noticed the same behaviour from my parents (my mother would always find something that was the matter with them, whether it was too fat, too skinny (not a problem any of my girlfriends ever had!), too stupid etc...). 

Since this was an ongoing routing our SO's finally determined that it wasn't a fault of theirs, and it was a fault of my mother, and is something that would never change regardless of anything they did or didn't do.


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## GordoNegro (Sep 19, 2006)

My family/friends knows I adore ssbbws so I never had to explain in advance.
Some members have more tact than others so I always had it in myself that if I felt my date/gf was uncomfortable I would not bring them around certain family/friends even to the point of cutting them off so they would get the message.


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## LJ Rock (Sep 19, 2006)

My gf was very nervous about meeting my parents for the first time. She told me about some bad experiences she'd had in the past with ex-boyfriends' parents (including a guy who refused to introduce her to his family unless she lost some weight first.... fucking prick!)  

Anyways, I did my best to asure her that my folks are very non-judgemental and that they would absolutely lover her, which they did.  This is not to say that my parents are "perfect people" and that they don't sometimes stick their nose where it doesn't belong or otherwise offer up opinions uncalled for, but in this case at least it was a complete non-issue. Size or weight has never even come up. 

I have never openly discussed my "FAness" with my parents, or anyone else in my family (save for my kid brother a few times.) There's just never really been a need to. I am not sure if any of them have put two and two together, but I can't imagine that they wouldn't be able to infer what my preferences are, since pretty much all of the dates I have ever brought home to meet the folks have been at least thick or full figured.

At age 32 I certainly don't feel as though I need my parents "approval" for any of the decisions I make in my life. On the other hand, it is much better to have their blessings rather than having to listen to them nag and piss and moan everytime we see eachother or talk on the phone. LOL I think I am fortunate enough to have the kind of folks who just want see me live my life and be happy, regardless of who I choose to spend it with.


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## bigsexy920 (Sep 19, 2006)

Ive only met one ex's parents and they were nice to me. In fact when ever I see his father in town he always invites me over to see the New addition they put on their house. 

I did meet my ex husbands mom well after we were divoriced. It was a bit akward for both of us I guess. It helped that she didn't speak english. 

I think she was more shocked that Jose, my ex got along so well with my family. In Peru I guess when you divorice there you are not so cozy with the X in laws. 

I always joke with my family that they like him better than me


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## Scott M (Sep 20, 2006)

Ah, this terrifies me. I've never brought anyone home to my dad's place. He and his wife always make comments when they see fat people, and while they'd never deliberately say anything, they're pretty insensitive about this topic. 

My stepsister has a friend who's around 250, and she came to a family dinner one night at Dad's house. They started watching American Idol, and it's not long before Dad observes "That big black girl has an ass on her! Look at how fat she is!" and then Dad and his wife go back and forth making obervations about how large one of the singers is. I was embarrassed as hell trying to get them off the subject("But she can sing! She's the best singer there, like Aretha!") and our guest just mentioned "Yeah, she's pretty big..." The worst part is that they were completely oblivious about it. 

Then there was the talk Dad gave that ended with "... I just want you to find someone and be happy. I wouldn't care if you brought home a girl who, geez I dunno, weighed 400 pounds." 

They can't live more than 25 more years. Fifty years old is an acceptable time to seriously start dating, right?


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## wrench13 (Sep 20, 2006)

I had kind of the reverse situation once. I had met a very cute and very big SSBBW named Robin G..., we went on a few dates and she always met me somewhere to go on the dates. Then, I picked her up at her house once, and her Mom invited me ( and her) to stay for dinner. Her Mom then proceeded to question me on how I could find some one as fat as her daughter attractive. At the dinner table, no less. Need I say the Mom and the rest of the family were bird thin? I was totally honest with them, saying how hot I thought Robin was and what a nice person she was. The Mom even tried fobing off the skinny sister on me!! A very uncomfortable dinner and Robin and I soon broke up ( she apparently had been brainwashed so much by pushy bigmouth Mom that she couldn't understand how I could find her sexy either).


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## lemmink (Sep 20, 2006)

I've tried to bring home fat guys and fat girls. It doesn't work. My parents don't understand that I find them physically attractive. It's always, "He must have a nice personality," or, "Is he wealthy?" They're completely liberal when it comes to everything _but_ fat. It drives me insane that I can work in a bdsm club, be involved in threesomes, shack up with tattooed women... and only recieve parental disapproval for fancying a guy who's just _barely_ overweight.

I am forever thankful that my boyfriend isn't fat, so that when he meets my parents (in 14 days!) they won't be able to make barbed comments about him. I've only recently begun to come out about my FA-ness, though, so maybe when I go back to visit my parents again, I'll be able to tell 'em about it without, I don't know, succumbing to public opinion. Yet again.


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## ThatFatGirl (Sep 21, 2006)

I've had fairly good luck with parents I've met. My ex-fiance from a few years ago had the greatest mom. She never blinked an eye when she met me (probably because I wasn't the first fat girl this fellow and brought home). When we broke up, I think I was more sad that she wasn't going to be my mother-in-law than I was that this ass wasn't going to be my husband. I mean really that was a good thing. The other bad thing about that break up was that my would be brother-in-law is partners with Bjork's sculptor/hubby Matthew Barney.. so you know I had visions of dinners with Bjork.. (yes, I'm a dork). 

The next parents I met should've told me their son was a lying bastard and I was probably one of a long line of girlfriends they'd met in the last month or so. Grandma even met me and took me back to her private suite to show me her china coll collection. Everyone was pleasant and smiling.. That whole family was fucked (IMO).

After that I met my last boyfriend's mom and sister. I actually cooked for them in my home. I was so, so nervous but things seemed to go fine. They were really sweet, kind people.. Afterwards, I asked my then-boyfriend what they thought of me and he only had positive words. They were apparently more unsure of me because I wasn't black. I was only his second girlfriend to meet the family and they_ loved _his ex.. They had concerns about him being in a serious relationship with a white woman. My size was never an issue.

I am not too scared of meeting my future in-law's. My fiance is a tried and true FA who has only really dated fat women. They've seen our photos already, so there won't be too much of a surprise. I'm looking forward to it.


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## jamie (Sep 21, 2006)

Meeting the parents has always been pretty nice and easy for me but both families I have met were good, really kind people and I don't think judging was in their basic natures anyhow. 

My current boyfriend's family and I are very close. His family is fairly academic and share the quirky skewed personality that I find so attractive in him. His mother and sister and I text each other from time to time with funny pictures or something else bizarre, and of course to give him a hard time. I have yet to meet his father. That is a mixture of his busy work schedule (he is a doctor), our busy schedule, the distance and the fact they only see each other once or twice a year. The past two times he has gone over, I have had back problems, so have missed my chance. I am extremely scared about the prospect of meeting him. There are so many reasons and not all of them concern my weight, although that is the most concerning for me. Justin is the only boy...and his father is "appreciative" of women to say the least. I am afraid he won't think I am good enough in looks or class for his little boy. J has reassured me that his father is not at all like that, and he was right about his mother and sisters, but I think it is just natural to have that little voice in your head say mean things to you. 

Sometimes, I think meeting someone's children is more petrifying than the parents. A few years ago, I dated someone who had children that were about 5 years younger than me. He kept me hidden from them as much as he could. He was concerned about how they would judge me. Especially after his ex-wife came over to the house one night when we were watching movies and later told them I was "real fat.... like Richard Simmons fat." I guess it tells you what kind of guy he was that he one - didn't say anything in my defense and two - relayed the story on to me later. Blech.


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## EtobicokeFA (Sep 22, 2006)

wrench13 said:


> I had kind of the reverse situation once. I had met a very cute and very big SSBBW named Robin G..., we went on a few dates and she always met me somewhere to go on the dates. Then, I picked her up at her house once, and her Mom invited me ( and her) to stay for dinner. Her Mom then proceeded to question me on how I could find some one as fat as her daughter attractive. At the dinner table, no less. Need I say the Mom and the rest of the family were bird thin? I was totally honest with them, saying how hot I thought Robin was and what a nice person she was. The Mom even tried fobing off the skinny sister on me!! A very uncomfortable dinner and Robin and I soon broke up ( she apparently had been brainwashed so much by pushy bigmouth Mom that she couldn't understand how I could find her sexy either).



I had a similar situtation one time when meet one girl's parents. They were almost appologizing for their daughter being fat, and trying to the figuare out why I was dating her in the first place. It told me a while for them get the idea that I really found her attractive.


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## Butterbelly (Sep 26, 2006)

I've met one ex's family, and they all seemed to except me quite well. His mother thought I was the most gorgeous thing she'd ever seen...his perverted grandfather did too...lol

My current boyfriend...I met his family long before we started dating, but when we did start dating, I noticed a shift in their attitude towards me. His parents adore me, but in the past I've experienced their comments about "larger" people. More so, my boyfriend's sisters make the comments all the time. They're all slender and petite.


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## gangstadawg (Sep 26, 2006)

MissToodles said:


> Well my boyfriend's dad doesn't think much of me and referred to me as a "conversation piece". But this is his dad's nature and he pretty much hates everyone. I'm sure they thought I was gigantic, I mean they thought his ex wife was absoutely enormous and when he first met her she was merely chubby.
> 
> They don't approve of my size, among other things but I don't really think much of them either. Disapproval & disdain can go both ways


hates everyone eh. hmm wonder what would happen if he brung over some one that was of another race.


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## gangstadawg (Sep 26, 2006)

MWBBWFanMan said:


> Family members generally dont hold back their thoughts on what they think is best for us. It's almost like they think that they KNOW what is best for us and what isn't. My little brother never has given me any grief about dating fat women and I havent given him any trouble about thinking 95 pound women look gorgeous. It seems to be a non-issue with him, which I am thankful for. Mom, on the other hand, always asks me if I am dating and if I am, the inevitable next questions is: "Is she a chunky girl" I always answer yes and then she asks me why? I have the same answer everytime. Because I love women with lotsa extra padding and meat on their bones and that the bigger the cushion the better the pushin....THat generally shuts her up and she tells me that she just wants me to be happy and get married and live a long happy, healthy life with my wife....
> 
> It is tough to meet the other family though sometimes. Especially around the holidays when you wanna bring your significant other to meet the family. My grandpa is the worst to meet. Once at a wedding he told the grooms mom that she had a fat ass. I dont think he means to be mean or hurtful....Thats just grandpa. Now I have to warn every woman that my grandpa might tell you that you have a fat ass. Then I tell them to tell him that he sure is a smart man for being so old and senile....That puts him in his place and the day goes much better. I think it's kinda like he is testing them to see how they react or something....Who knows???
> 
> ...


at least you dont have a family like mine. my grandma wishes i was gay then be with a bigger woman. she has said some dumb things like for example:
a guy going out with a fat girl is nothing more than a closet fag and is using her as cop out (her words not mine). she got that from my gay uncle which i dont know where he got that from. but the thing is she is a big woman too. the other thing is that i didnt expect this kinda hatred from other african americans.


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## gangstadawg (Sep 26, 2006)

Scott M said:


> Ah, this terrifies me. I've never brought anyone home to my dad's place. He and his wife always make comments when they see fat people, and while they'd never deliberately say anything, they're pretty insensitive about this topic.
> 
> My stepsister has a friend who's around 250, and she came to a family dinner one night at Dad's house. They started watching American Idol, and it's not long before Dad observes "That big black girl has an ass on her! Look at how fat she is!" and then Dad and his wife go back and forth making obervations about how large one of the singers is. I was embarrassed as hell trying to get them off the subject("But she can sing! She's the best singer there, like Aretha!") and our guest just mentioned "Yeah, she's pretty big..." The worst part is that they were completely oblivious about it.
> 
> ...


WTF? they mad fun of mandisa. they cannot be forgiven.


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## GordoNegro (Sep 26, 2006)

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling pressured like that.
Though it does take away from the brothas liking the big girls stereotype.
Though hoping over time by seeing you happy grandma can see the realization of being a great-grandmother sooner should that be the case.
Though on another side you can see how cultures can be so similar yet so different.
Being 1/2 trini i've come across bbw trini women who disliked their size or felt negative attitudes similar to what my mother (RIP) and my aunt would express to me about myself (when the lbs were up) or my ssbbw dates.
Though contrary, IMO when dating women from Jamaica/Barbados etc. there was a more relaxing comfortable in my own skin atmosphere.
Not making sweeping generalizations but things I've noticed as time passed by.


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## gangstadawg (Sep 26, 2006)

GordoNegro said:


> I'm sorry to hear you are feeling pressured like that.
> Though it does take away from the brothas liking the big girls stereotype.
> Though hoping over time by seeing you happy grandma can see the realization of being a great-grandmother sooner should that be the case.
> Though on another side you can see how cultures can be so similar yet so different.
> ...


i dont know where she got her hatred from? and i still wonder where both my grandma and my gay uncle got that stupid theory. it makes no sense. the other part to that was that he said that since gay men prefer big guys then a guy thats trying to play off straight would go with a big girl to basically get both that bigger person and to be not thought of as gay. so my grandma thinking that because he is gay means he knows all about what "symptoms" to know a person is going that way whih using a big girl that way is utter bull shit.


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## Rosi (Sep 26, 2006)

I guess I been pretty luck, any of my boyfriends that I was serious enough with to meet their parents had known they prefer big women. Although, I think I was the largest they brought home I was received well. With the exception of Calvins (fiancée) parents and that was more because he was moving to be with me then the fact that I was a fattie. Of course now they think I was the best thing that happened to him!! heehee


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## GordoNegro (Sep 26, 2006)

gangstadawg said:


> i dont know where she got her hatred from? and i still wonder where both my grandma and my gay uncle got that stupid theory. it makes no sense. the other part to that was that he said that since gay men prefer big guys then a guy thats trying to play off straight would go with a big girl to basically get both that bigger person and to be not thought of as gay. so my grandma thinking that because he is gay means he knows all about what "symptoms" to know a person is going that way whih using a big girl that way is utter bull shit.



I definately hear that but I think some added grandchildren will soften that hated especially from a bb/ssbbw you introduced her to previously.


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## LillyBBBW (Sep 27, 2006)

GordoNegro said:


> I definately hear that but I think some added grandchildren will soften that hated especially from a bb/ssbbw you introduced her to previously.



When I was a baby there was nothing about my body or my appearance that was off limits for my family to comment on. I was born chubby so, "Ooh boy! heheheh. Say there...." was usually followed by some slack jawed invitation to look at my thighs, boobies or some other spectacle about my body as I played. 

At some point in life you have to come to the realization that your relatives are ignorant townie folk and then move on. It's the only way to live. My Grandfather, God love his soul, would point and laugh at all kinds of stupid things and my mom is the same. You can't fix any of these people and you'll be pissed off later in life when you realize how much time you wasted tripping over these folks.


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## GordoNegro (Sep 27, 2006)

LillyBBBW said:


> When I was a baby there was nothing about my body or my appearance that was off limits for my family to comment on. I was born chubby so, "Ooh boy! heheheh. Say there...." was usually followed by some slack jawed invitation to look at my thighs, boobies or some other spectacle about my body as I played.
> 
> At some point in life you have to come to the realization that your relatives are ignorant townie folk and then move on. It's the only way to live. My Grandfather, God love his soul, would point and laugh at all kinds of stupid things and my mom is the same. You can't fix any of these people and you'll be pissed off later in life when you realize how much time you wasted tripping over these folks.



Thats true life is way too short especially with so many bigger and brighter things ahead in the foreseeable future.


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## TallFatSue (Sep 27, 2006)

Rosi said:


> Of course now they think I was the best thing that happened to him!! heehee


Same here, Art's parents think I'm the best thing that ever happened to him, at least after they got over the shock of him dating the biggest girl they had ever met. Fat or no fat, that's a major accomplishment, compared to some women in in my office who complain that their in-laws never thought they were "good enough" for their sons.  

The other posts in this thread are fascinating, but maybe my case was different because I met Art's parents when I was only 20. After you move out and become independent, say in your 30s or 40s, meeting your boyfriend's parents may not be as big a deal as when he still lived with them. Of course if he still lives with them in his 40s, there may be other issues.  

As I've said many times, my favorite form of fat activism is to set a positive example as a fat woman. In retrospect, methinks earlier this year I was "used" -- but in a good way.  Our neighbor's son brought his girlfriend home from college to meet his parents, and somehow arranged for Art & me to be there too. From their reactions, I gathered he had not told his parents that his girlfriend was supersize, maybe 350lb. She looked nervous at first, but she relaxed when she saw me, maybe because I had about 100lb on her. Nice girl, and his parents seemed to like her, once they adjusted to her size. Yes indeedy, my fat performed more valuable services: inspiring our neighbor's son that dating a fat girl was perfectly fine, and helping his parents accept her. 

Just doing my part to give fat a good name.


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## kronoman (Sep 27, 2006)

TallFatSue said:


> Now I'm kinda curious what experiences some of you have had, when you first met your boyfriend's / husband's parents?



Well, my dad sadly didn't know my gf, he is dead, but I'm sure that he would have respected her, he was a nice guy, and respected all my previous big gfs (none that big like this one, but since high school that I prefer to date big girls).

My mom loves my gf, because my gf is very cute and nice, and knows how to chat with my mom. 

The only thing so far is with my friends, because my gf is very tall (one head above me) and huge (compared to me, she must weight 2,5 times what I weight). You know, they give me that weird look, same happens when we walk around the street.

I should get a car also, currently my only transportation is a Harley Sportster chopper-style, so we usually meet at a pre arranged place because I cant carry anybody with me (I have a solo seat).

Well, thats all, in resume, with mom all OK, with friends and people in general, they give me the weird look of the thin small guy with the big "amazon".

Anyways, I love her, I'm walking in sunshine...


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## dan (Sep 27, 2006)

parents were never the problem with me..Always the friends and their psycho remarks and jokes...Meanwhile I really believe they were jealous of all these full figured beauties... Constantly eyes wandering all over there full breasts ass and thighs..All I know is I was always very pleased,.


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## largenlovely (Sep 28, 2006)

this is one of my favorite stories  My ex bf went to tell his parents that i was fat before i moved in with him. He'd just bought a house at the time and his parents were in there cleaning it out before he moved in. The former owners left some old curtains in there and as his dad took them down, he tossed them at my ex and said something to the effect of "here take these and make your new gf some lingerie"..my ex's response.......

there's not enough material lol

that always makes me laugh. I guess they got the hint then hehe

Melissa


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## ciccialover (Apr 15, 2010)

Let's exhume this topic... Well I have the same problem as mentioned in that American Dad episode. I am very slim like all my family but my girlfriend is very plump and tall.:wubu: Surely my parents don't approve her at all only because of her size, but after all these years together I think they partially accepted her. Moreover she comes from a very open family who loves food (they are from south Italy) while mine is, how can I say, victorian and conservative? Some would say republican.


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## nikola090 (Apr 15, 2010)

ahah...but not all the South Italy families are lovers of food (bad for me...)


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## Totmacher (Apr 15, 2010)

Gee, I almost feel bad for having nearly perfect parents  . Not nearly as fun to talk about, though.


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## LillyBBBW (Apr 15, 2010)

My family is very off color in their commentary when decent folk aren't around. My sister had a brawny boyfriend who was a very healthy eater. He loved my mother's cooking and would help himself to heaping helpings. My sister was trying to get in touch with him one time and he wasn't answering for some reason. My brother joked that all you would have to do is fix a plate and stick it in the window and he'd come. As a joke he sat his plate of food on the window sill and like perfect timing, my sister's boyfriend Carl came ambling up the hill. The whole family erupted into peals of laughter. Lets not ignore the fact that each and every one of us love mom's cooking too, are as greedy as he was and my brothers would often leave the house with piled plates wrapped in tin foil. We're just a sick bunch of silly people who like to laugh. Outside of the course joking I wouildn't have any problems bringing anyone home unless that person were cruel to me or someone in the family. I couldn't imagine having to provide a precurser unless the person I brought home was a woman or someone they know already. It's merely so there won't be any, "OMG I DIDN'T KNOW," 'edness to my sweetie's arrival. I wouldn't need their approval or understanding though, they already know I don't care.


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## Plainguy (Apr 16, 2010)

I was very fortunate when I met the love of my life. I had been divorced a while, and happened across the love of my life. Everyone adored her when they met her. . My daughters loved her, my Mom invited her into her kitchen to have tea with her. . Talk about unheard of. . 

Now she was just a tad over 200 pounds when we met, but over the years, her weight went up to her high weight of 530, and even then, it was never an issue with anyone in the family. I was blessed to be sure. . but to be honest, even if they hadn't liked her. . I knew she was "the one"...


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## Nutty (Apr 17, 2010)

Plainguy said:


> I was very fortunate when I met the love of my life. I had been divorced a while, and happened across the love of my life. Everyone adored her when they met her. . My daughters loved her, my Mom invited her into her kitchen to have tea with her. . Talk about unheard of. .
> 
> Now she was just a tad over 200 pounds when we met, but over the years, her weight went up to her high weight of 530, and even then, it was never an issue with anyone in the family. I was blessed to be sure. . but to be honest, even if they hadn't liked her. . I knew she was "the one"...



Well I'm glad everything worked out for you.


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## Jigen (Apr 17, 2010)

nikola090 said:


> ahah...but not all the South Italy families are lovers of food (bad for me...)



Not just Southern Italian families. Many families in Northern Italy have sweet tooth for cold cuts and red wine.


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