# Tell Me Where I've Been :P



## Dr. P Marshall (Sep 26, 2010)

OK, so I realized this week, that I haven't posted here in about a year. And while I could easily tell you all what I've been up to, I thought it would be more entertaining (and WAY more interesting) if you all came up with wonderful tales of my antics over the past 12 months. For those of you who know me, yes, I still like to fill the board with nonsense and am an unabashed egomaniac. (Obviously, I did not spend the year getting "help" as I probably should have). So come on people, tell me what I've been up to.

Oh and there's NO TRUTH to the rumor that I'm collecting these as cover stories for when I have to tell the authorities what I've been doing for the past year at my - uh - this is just a game. OK?:blush:


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## BigChaz (Sep 26, 2010)

You were hunting colombian drug lords with a bow and arrow set.


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## BigChaz (Sep 26, 2010)

You were cultivating coffee beans in Hawaii and selling them for ridiculous prices to Arabian buyers.


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## Lil BigginZ (Sep 26, 2010)

you came and kidnapped me and stuffed me in the back of your "free candy" windlowless van. then preceded to throw kit kats in the back to keep me quiet about being hungry while you rampaged the usa for your next victim.


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## BigChaz (Sep 26, 2010)

You went bungee jumping but never came back up


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## Dr. P Marshall (Sep 26, 2010)

Lil BigginZ said:


> you came and kidnapped me and stuffed me in the back of your "free candy" windlowless van. then preceded to throw kit kats in the back to keep me quiet about being hungry while you rampaged the usa for your next victim.



How did you know about my van?????


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## BigChaz (Sep 26, 2010)

You sold kittens into slavery in the asian market


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## BigChaz (Sep 26, 2010)

You grew a field of marijuana then got lost in said field


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## Dr. P Marshall (Sep 26, 2010)

BigChaz said:


> You sold kittens into slavery in the asian market



Have you been following me around?


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## CastingPearls (Sep 26, 2010)

BigChaz said:


> You sold kittens into slavery in the asian market


Those kittens (Siamese, Balinese, and Tonkinese) were nefariously trained to surreptitiously knit mittens in sweat pet shops in Katmandu.


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## BigChaz (Sep 26, 2010)

You became a doctor, killed 38 patients, and have been in Mexico ever since


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## BigChaz (Sep 26, 2010)

You found a fat man, married him, he lost weight, you divorced him, he got fat again, so you re-married, he lost weight, so you divorced him, and now here you are.


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## CarlaSixx (Sep 26, 2010)

You were in the Great White North dancing the tango with the polar bears.


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## CastingPearls (Sep 26, 2010)

BigChaz said:


> You became a doctor, killed 38 patients, and have been in Mexico ever since


No..... she became a Mexican, killed 38 doctors and has no patience. <sigh>


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## BigChaz (Sep 26, 2010)

Dr. P Marshall said:


> Have you been following me around?



No. I just *get* you.


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## BigChaz (Sep 26, 2010)

This one might be crazy, but I get the feeling you have been masturbating for 365 days.

YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. OR RIGHT? I DON'T KNOW. EITHER WAY IT IS NOT NORMAL.


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## johnnytattoos (Sep 26, 2010)

Training to become an unflinching killing machine.


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## Paquito (Sep 26, 2010)

You went to Scotland to live with Mergirl in an exclusive bird/worm relationship. It was good for a while. There was love, there was laughter, and a lot of regurgitation and nest-building. But then...

Then Rose got jealous. Threatened to end the whole operation. So you had to get ride of her. Next thing Lisa knows, the new nest is made out of bones and questions. A lot of questions. All asked in that wondrous Scottish accent.

And now you're back in the U.S. New identity and everything. Welcome back, Dr. M. Parshall.


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## Dr. P Marshall (Sep 26, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> Those kittens (Siamese, Balinese, and Tonkinese) were nefariously trained to surreptitiously knit mittens in sweat pet shops in Katmandu.





CarlaSixx said:


> You were in the Great White North dancing the tango with the polar bears.





Paquito said:


> You went to Scotland to live with Mergirl in an exclusive bird/worm relationship. It was good for a while. There was love, there was laughter, and a lot of regurgitation and nest-building. But then...
> 
> Then Rose got jealous. Threatened to end the whole operation. So you had to get ride of her. Next thing Lisa knows, the new nest is made out of bones and questions. A lot of questions. All asked in that wondrous Scottish accent.
> 
> And now you're back in the U.S. New identity and everything. Welcome back, Dr. M. Parshall.



I see I should be checking my home for hidden cameras. 



johnnytattoos said:


> Training to become an unflinching killing machine.



Ugh. Geez, Tattoos, you weren't supposed to tell them what I've ACTUALLY been doing. I swear, you just never get any smarter do you? I see that I obviously didn't spend enough time last year schooling you properly. This will be corrected. Now, maybe instead of blabbing my business all over the place, you should go slap some more shirtless pictures of yourself up around here. Hmmm? You know, make yourself "useful."


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## Carrie (Sep 26, 2010)

I don't really give a rat's ass if you were killing endangered species and littering the planet with recyclable items, lady, I'm just glad you're back.


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## Dr. P Marshall (Sep 26, 2010)

Carrie said:


> I don't really give a rat's ass if you were killing endangered species and littering the planet with recyclable items, lady, I'm just glad you're back.


Aww, thanks. Warms my little killing machine heart. :wubu:


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## WillSpark (Sep 27, 2010)

I don't know but the fact that I wasn't included in the mischief vexes me.


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## Esther (Sep 27, 2010)

You've been taming lions and wrestling alligators!


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## TheMildlyStrangeone (Sep 27, 2010)

Making mice with monkey brains! Or is that human brains? One of the two for sure.


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## Mordecai (Sep 27, 2010)

Through the looking glass.


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## imfree (Sep 27, 2010)

Homeland Security in one of their SNAFU blunders, 
arrested and jailed you for impersonating an MD. 
It took a whole year to convince them that Dr. 
P Marshall is only a screen name and that you 
never even attempted to perform medical
treatment on our President.


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## Kazak (Sep 27, 2010)

you and rabbit ran off and got married, which explains why she disappears for periods of time too, but rabbit is too addicted to stay away for extended periods of time and keeps coming back. the two of you bought, I mean adopted , a Russian baby and are raising it as your own. so you have been way too busy with rabbit and the little baby to come on here.
when I go to the gym I pass dr. peter marshall elementary and every time I see the sign I think of you.


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## Dr. P Marshall (Sep 27, 2010)

WillSpark said:


> I don't know but the fact that I wasn't included in the mischief vexes me.



It's never too late. Just step into my van.



Esther said:


> You've been taming lions and wrestling alligators!





TheMildlyStrangeone said:


> Making mice with monkey brains! Or is that human brains? One of the two for sure.



Close! I was taming monkey brains and wrestling mice!



Odenthalius said:


> Through the looking glass.





imfree said:


> Homeland Security in one of their SNAFU blunders,
> arrested and jailed you for impersonating an MD.
> It took a whole year to convince them that Dr.
> P Marshall is only a screen name and that you
> ...


Actually, I performed medical experiments on Homeland Security through my computer screen, but I used a pseudonym. "Obama." You really need to talk to your source.


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## Dr. P Marshall (Sep 27, 2010)

Kazak said:


> you and rabbit ran off and got married, which explains why she disappears for periods of time too, but rabbit is too addicted to stay away for extended periods of time and keeps coming back. the two of you bought, I mean adopted , a Russian baby and are raising it as your own. so you have been way too busy with rabbit and the little baby to come on here.
> when I go to the gym I pass dr. peter marshall elementary and every time I see the sign I think of you.



Ummm....yeah....we "adopted" a few folks, but I swear the Russian baby was driving the van!!!!!!


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## rabbitislove (Sep 27, 2010)

You were busy finding me a massive wedding ring in Sierra Leone, but you wanted to dig the diamond yourself because you didnt want to rely on child slaves and cuz you love me that much...

I guess the Russian baby thing makes sense too...a little too much sense hahaha.


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## imfree (Sep 27, 2010)

Dr. P Marshall said:


> It's never too late. Just step into my van.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



"Obama" WAS my source, but I'll have to continue in
Hyde Park to digress. I'm just not in the mood
to get my a** blown off today, so I won't go there.


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## Tad (Sep 27, 2010)

How did you get out of the basement vault?

Wait, did I say that out loud?


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## imfree (Sep 27, 2010)

If you don't know what you've been doing during the
year you've been gone, then you very probably 
suffered amnesia and recently recovered your memory. 
Now there's a medical reason for you, Doctor!

Amazing that no OP posted this before!


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## FishCharming (Sep 27, 2010)

you were coming home from australia on Oceanic Flight 815...


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## Goreki (Sep 27, 2010)

Raising an army of tiny tiny toads.


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## Lady Bella UK (Sep 27, 2010)

You invented the cure to obesity...

...then you hid it in a 100 mile wide super sugary gobstopper in a hidden testing area of the Nevada desert 

Anyone now wanting to find it will get awfully fat in the process and the amount of people and time it will take to do so will ensure that obesity will be so engrained into the human population's genes the cure will be proven useless.

B :kiss2:

P.s - welcome back xxxxxxxxxx


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## project219 (Sep 27, 2010)

You've been wrestling bears in party hats in Arizona.

...The question is, how did you get the hats on bears?


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## Ninja Glutton (Sep 27, 2010)

Missed you bunches, girly. Glad to have you back!


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## Dr. P Marshall (Sep 27, 2010)

rabbitislove said:


> You were busy finding me a massive wedding ring in Sierra Leone, but you wanted to dig the diamond yourself because you didnt want to rely on child slaves and cuz you love me that much...
> 
> I guess the Russian baby thing makes sense too...a little too much sense hahaha.


Ah Rabbit, I love you too much to get you a blood diamond. I wouldn't want to ruin your karma that way.


Tad said:


> How did you get out of the basement vault?
> 
> Wait, did I say that out loud?


That was you???? Oh, man and you Canadians have such a reputation for being so nice. Although, your polar bears DO dance a mean tango.


FishCharming said:


> you were coming home from australia on Oceanic Flight 815...


You know, the unreleased real ending to that show was that it was all a drug induced hallucination that Jorge Garcia had in the back of my van. 


Goreki said:


> Raising an army of tiny tiny toads.





project219 said:


> how did you get the hats on bears?


That's what the tiny toads are for.


Lady Bella UK said:


> You invented the cure to obesity...
> 
> ...then you hid it in a 100 mile wide super sugary gobstopper in a hidden testing area of the Nevada desert
> 
> ...


And man, those guys from the National Institutes of Health just won't stop hounding me. For a bunch of nerdy scientists, those guys sure are stealthy.

p.s. Thanks for the welcome back.:kiss2:


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## BigChaz (Sep 27, 2010)

You used to have a ton more posts than me, now I am catching up.

Just a mild observation. Maybe I should post more often.


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## Dr. P Marshall (Sep 28, 2010)

Ninja Glutton said:


> Missed you bunches, girly. Glad to have you back!



Thanks. You all have made me feel lots of love. I will now refer you to the OP in which I reference my lifelong battle with egomania. You're not helping me here people. 


BigChaz said:


> You used to have a ton more posts than me, now I am catching up.
> 
> Just a mild observation. Maybe I should post more often.




As long as all of your posts are about me, it's fine.


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## CastingPearls (Sep 28, 2010)

You have been strenuously (and enthusiastically) competing to be the latest entry in 1000 Ways to Die AND as a Darwin Award recipient. 

Some of your latest exploits involved a bullwhip, a jar of apricot preserves, jumper cables, a rainbow clown wig, a gallon of bleach, a Fisher Price Hickory Dock Clock, used tongue depressors, a block of earwax in the shape of William Shakespeare's head, and a number two pencil. Oh, and a non-allergenic pillow and a bunch of not English, but French lavender. Oh and a pool-boy named Paco.


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## Dr. P Marshall (Sep 28, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> You have been strenuously (and enthusiastically) competing to be the latest entry in 1000 Ways to Die AND as a Darwin Award recipient.
> 
> Some of your latest exploits involved a bullwhip, a jar of apricot preserves, jumper cables, a rainbow clown wig, a gallon of bleach, a Fisher Price Hickory Dock Clock, used tongue depressors, a block of earwax in the shape of William Shakespeare's head, and a number two pencil. Oh, and a non-allergenic pillow and a bunch of not English, but French lavender. Oh and a pool-boy named Paco.



This is disturbingly close to the truth, except it was in the shape of William Shatner's head and my pool-boy's name is Dieter. You HAVE been following me, haven't you.


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## CastingPearls (Sep 28, 2010)

Dr. P Marshall said:


> This is disturbingly close to the truth, except it was in the shape of William Shatner's head and my pool-boy's name is Dieter. You HAVE been following me, haven't you.


What is so alarming that MINE is in the shape of Shatner's head and he actually sat for it (I didn't say willingly but even so..) and I doubt very much that your pool-boy's name is DIETer unless he ironically weighs 400 lbs and is wearing a blue Speedo. He IS wearing a Speedo, isn't he???


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## Dr. P Marshall (Sep 28, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> What is so alarming that MINE is in the shape of Shatner's head and he actually sat for it (I didn't say willingly but even so..) and I doubt very much that your pool-boy's name is DIETer unless he ironically weighs 400 lbs and is wearing a blue Speedo. He IS wearing a Speedo, isn't he???



I live my entire life ironically. Dieter weighs 500 pounds, and I THINK there's a Speedo under there, but it's hard to tell. And clearly, Shatner's a head whore.


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## joswitch (Sep 28, 2010)

Lady Bella UK said:


> You invented the cure to obesity...
> 
> ...then you hid it in a 100 mile wide super sugary gobstopper in a hidden testing area of the Nevada desert
> 
> ...



This is like the plot of the last three X-men story arcs...


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## joswitch (Sep 28, 2010)

Dr. P Marshall said:


> Close! I was taming monkey brains and wrestling mice!



Very, very fat mice...


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## Dr. P Marshall (Sep 28, 2010)

joswitch said:


> Very, very fat mice...



Obviously, why do you think I'm so exhausted. I only wrestled the mice for the first month, it took the other 11 to recover from my injuries.


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## imfree (Sep 29, 2010)

Dr. P Marshall said:


> This is disturbingly close to the truth, except it was in the shape of William Shatner's head and my pool-boy's name is Dieter. You HAVE been following me, haven't you.



Huh? Why hasn't anyone mentioned that flamethrower?
Nevermind!


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## spiritangel (Sep 29, 2010)

Hiding inside the giant steiff bear that can often be seen at various bear shows as a way of traveling for free around the world


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## Mordecai (Sep 29, 2010)

Fighting the frog god Kaizack to save Fairyland.


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## FishCharming (Sep 29, 2010)

Odenthalius said:


> Fighting the frog god Kaizack to save Fairyland.



actually the fairy counsel unanimously passed a bill taxing all religious organizations in fairyland causing the pope of the Frog Church to file bankruptcy. the ensuing auditing and tax evasion scandal really reduced the number of active parishioners and Kaizack, fearing a decline in his popularity, jumped the shark in favor of a spot on next season's Dancing with the Stars: Divine Comedy edition. 

curiously enough, each member of the fairy counsel reported a rather large donation from a Lobbyist named Dr P on their Campaign Finance Disclosure statements...

I would also like to announce my candidacy for fairy senate in 2011. I'll be running under the Conservative banner with a platform based around Campaign Finance Reform and Family Values. "It's time that we brought the Frog-God back into the classrooms. Think of the children!"


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## spiritangel (Sep 29, 2010)

Hidden deep in the amazon with a unique tribe of pygmies learning the anchient arts of some very bizzarre sex rituals


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## Dr. P Marshall (Sep 29, 2010)

spiritangel said:


> Hiding inside the giant steiff bear that can often be seen at various bear shows as a way of traveling for free around the world



Well, you know me, anywhere there's "bears" I'm usually not far behind.


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## Carl1h (Sep 29, 2010)

You started your own reality show called The Biggest Race. The contestants visit a series of restaurants worldwide where they must pass eating challenges before they can move on. The winner is determined by a combination of time to the finish and weight crossing the finish line.


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## CastingPearls (Sep 29, 2010)

Having every square inch of your body tattooed with invisible ink in the shape of your own body, only bigger.


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## Durin (Sep 29, 2010)

Secretly she spent the year in Cazidor AL learning how to be a monster hunter and has now collected $1,000,000 in P.U.F.F. bounties by her single handed slaying of Kaizack's second cousin Kalua the Toad of Doom


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## CastingPearls (Sep 29, 2010)

Opening up a national chain of tanning salons for the undead called TwiLIGHT.
(unfortunately, the profits went up in flames--faulty wiring was blamed)


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## Dr. P Marshall (Sep 29, 2010)

Carl1h said:


> The winner is determined by a combination of time to the finish and weight crossing the finish line.




And let me tell you, filming the "Las Vegas Buffet Finale" took FOREVER. The contestants just would not move quickly across that finish line. Maybe we shouldn't have put it at the end of a buffet.


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## Dr. P Marshall (Sep 29, 2010)

Durin said:


> Secretly she spent the year in Cazidor AL learning how to be a monster hunter and has now collected $1,000,000 in P.U.F.F. bounties by her single handed slaying of Kaizack's second cousin Kalua the Toad of Doom



Wait, wait, wait. What's this "monster hunter" business????? I happen to be a monster, thankyouverymuch, and learning about this concerns me greatly.


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## D_A_Bunny (Sep 29, 2010)

You saved up enough money to take a sewing class and buy a new sewing machine. In the meantime you got a license and purchased a little monkey. You then began to design and sew assless chaps for your new little monkey. You then trained your monkey to walk the runway in his wide array of assless chaps. You filmed a demo reel and shopped it around in Hollywood. Fox bought your rights and you starting filming your new tv series MY MONKEY LOVES ASSLESS CHAPS. And now you have a break before it will be time to hit the media circuit to promote the new show and came back to visit with your old friends who miss you. 

And it's no monkey business when I tell you that you have been missed. :happy:


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## WillSpark (Sep 29, 2010)

Monkeys. Lots and lots of monkeys.


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## Dr. P Marshall (Sep 30, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> Having every square inch of your body tattooed with invisible ink in the shape of your own body, only bigger.



You seem to have some innate understanding of me. This is exactly the sort of jackass type of thing I actually WOULD do if it was possible.


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## Dr. P Marshall (Sep 30, 2010)

D_A_Bunny said:


> You saved up enough money to take a sewing class and buy a new sewing machine. In the meantime you got a license and purchased a little monkey. You then began to design and sew assless chaps for your new little monkey. You then trained your monkey to walk the runway in his wide array of assless chaps. You filmed a demo reel and shopped it around in Hollywood. Fox bought your rights and you starting filming your new tv series MY MONKEY LOVES ASSLESS CHAPS. And now you have a break before it will be time to hit the media circuit to promote the new show and came back to visit with your old friends who miss you.
> 
> And it's no monkey business when I tell you that you have been missed. :happy:





WillSpark said:


> Monkeys. Lots and lots of monkeys.



OK, you two caught me.:blush: I won't go into details, but YES, there were monkeys and assless chaps and the authorities of seven countries and two territories and for a while, a very tiny disco. Why do you think I had to learn to be a killing machine?

@D_A Bunny -:kiss2: Missed you too.

Sorry for the double posts today. I have got to read all the way through before I respond. 

<----- Still a total jackass.


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## FishCharming (Sep 30, 2010)

Dr. P Marshall said:


> OK, you two caught me.:blush: I won't go into details, but YES, there were monkeys and assless chaps and the authorities of seven countries and two territories and for a while, a very tiny disco. Why do you think I had to learn to be a killing machine?



i am sooooo turned on right now...


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## Dr. P Marshall (Sep 30, 2010)

FishCharming said:


> i am sooooo turned on right now...



Welcome to my world. Why do you think I can never get anything done.


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## Melian (Sep 30, 2010)

I thought I scarred you for life in Bethesda, and then you went and joined a monastery or something....what was seen in the hotel room cannot be unseen.....


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## Dr. P Marshall (Sep 30, 2010)

Melian said:


> I thought I scarred you for life in Bethesda, and then you went and joined a monastery or something....what was seen in the hotel room cannot be unseen.....



It's true, after our time together, I really had to do some serious spiritual training. I am now a high priestess of the surrealistic cult of absurdist enlightenment after spending some time studying under Obesus the holy fat man. Then I was unleashed on the world to kill everyone and everything that defies me....or really anyone or anything that just vaguely irritates me.


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## Melian (Sep 30, 2010)

Dr. P Marshall said:


> It's true, after our time together, I really had to do some serious spiritual training. I am now a high priestess of the surrealistic cult of absurdist enlightenment after spending some time studying under Obesus the holy fat man. Then I was unleashed on the world to kill everyone and everything that defies me....or really anyone or anything that just vaguely irritates me.



Duuuuuude....that's AWESOME.

Do you need a cyborg companion?


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## Dr. P Marshall (Sep 30, 2010)

Melian said:


> Duuuuuude....that's AWESOME.
> 
> Do you need a cyborg companion?



Of course. So you finally finished all of your personal "improvements"? Please tell me you can now shoot lasers out of your nipples. Please, please, please.:bounce::bounce::bounce:


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## Melian (Sep 30, 2010)

Dr. P Marshall said:


> Of course. So you finally finished all of your personal "improvements"? Please tell me you can now shoot lasers out of your nipples. Please, please, please.:bounce::bounce::bounce:



Nipples, no.

But you need to check out my vagaser.


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## Dr. P Marshall (Sep 30, 2010)

Melian said:


> Nipples, no.
> 
> But you need to check out my vagaser.



You're such a visionary of cyborg technology. :bow:


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## imfree (Sep 30, 2010)

Melian said:


> Duuuuuude....that's AWESOME.
> 
> Do you need a cyborg companion?



Y'all aren't from that same bunch of cyborgs
who viciously attacked us peace-loving
ChiaHeads a couple years ago, are you?!?!?

Enquiring ChiaHeaded minds need to know!:doh:


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## FishCharming (Sep 30, 2010)

rofl! i have no rep to give.


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## Jes (Oct 1, 2010)

2 words:

Turkish prison.



or, possibly, hiding in shame and ignominy after being featured on People of Walmart.


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## Dr. P Marshall (Oct 1, 2010)

Jes said:


> hiding in shame and ignominy after being featured on People of Walmart.



See, I knew I should have changed before I ran out for a quick trip to pick up some paper towels. But I swear I had a PERFECTLY LEGITIMATE reason for wearing a Wonder Woman cape, lederhosen and pink rhinestone cowboy boots. I SWEAR!!!!


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## imfree (Oct 1, 2010)

Dr. P Marshall said:


> See, I knew I should have changed before I ran out for a quick trip to pick up some paper towels. But I swear I had a PERFECTLY LEGITIMATE reason for wearing a Wonder Woman cape, lederhosen and pink rhinestone cowboy boots. I SWEAR!!!!



Jah, das ist vat they all seh, mein liebschen!!!


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## Jes (Oct 1, 2010)

Dr. P Marshall said:


> See, I knew I should have changed before I ran out for a quick trip to pick up some paper towels. But I swear I had a PERFECTLY LEGITIMATE reason for wearing a Wonder Woman cape, lederhosen and pink rhinestone cowboy boots. I SWEAR!!!!



yes, and we had a PERFECTLY LEGITIMATE reason for mocking the crap out of you, Dr. P!


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## FishCharming (Oct 1, 2010)

personally i thought the cape really accented the slippers...


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## Dr. P Marshall (Oct 1, 2010)

Jes said:


> yes, and we had a PERFECTLY LEGITIMATE reason for mocking the crap out of you, Dr. P!



Ok, seriously, pretty much everyone has a perfectly legitimate reason for mocking the crap out of me.  I'm self aware......

@ fishcharming - and if a monkey had been wearing that outfit, I'm sure you would have been turned on.


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## daddyoh70 (Oct 1, 2010)

*You were here*






*Putting together a Monkey Death Squad, similar to this one*


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## FishCharming (Oct 2, 2010)

daddyoh70 said:


> *You were here*
> 
> 
> 
> ...



is that a moonknight monkey?!? c'mon!!!


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## Zowie (Oct 2, 2010)

FishCharming said:


> is that a moonknight monkey?!? c'mon!!!



But there's a Venom Monkey. Badasssssss


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## Dr. P Marshall (Oct 2, 2010)

daddyoh70 said:


> *You were here*
> 
> 
> 
> ...



This is so awe inspiring that I'm simply speechless. I'll need to place an order for 10,000 of the Monkey Death Squad photo to put on their shields....um....I mean.....that wasn't what I was doing. There's no death squad. Why would there be a death squad???? I have no plans for total world domination using a violent poop flinging monkey horde. No plans. None.:blush:


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## Dromond (Oct 2, 2010)

You were critically wounded in a hideous zeppelin accident somewhere over the Colorado Rockies. A reclusive mad scientist found you and declared "I can rebuild her! I will maker faster, better, and stronger! I will show them ALL! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

Unfortunately, his mad science style was steampunk.

So you were rebuilt into a killing machine of gears, brass valves, outlandish goggles, boilers and steam vents. You are fearsome, but not stealthy. Still, looking like something out of an Abney Park show has it's advantages. Your sense of Victoriana style is second to none.


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## daddyoh70 (Oct 2, 2010)

Dr. P Marshall said:


> This is so awe inspiring that I'm simply speechless. I'll need to place an order for 10,000 of the Monkey Death Squad photo to put on their shields....um....I mean.....that wasn't what I was doing. There's no death squad. Why would there be a death squad???? I have no plans for total world domination using a violent poop flinging monkey horde. No plans. None.:blush:



Ummm, uhhh, what I meant was, you were resting peacefully on a tropical island, drinking spiced rum from a pineapple 
P.S. I'll start printing the shield covers ASAP :happy:


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## Dr. P Marshall (Oct 2, 2010)

Dromond said:


> You were critically wounded in a hideous zeppelin accident somewhere over the Colorado Rockies. A reclusive mad scientist found you and declared "I can rebuild her! I will maker faster, better, and stronger! I will show them ALL! MWAHAHAHAHA!"
> 
> Unfortunately, his mad science style was steampunk.
> 
> So you were rebuilt into a killing machine of gears, brass valves, outlandish goggles, boilers and steam vents. You are fearsome, but not stealthy. Still, looking like something out of an Abney Park show has it's advantages. Your sense of Victoriana style is second to none.



It's true, I am a very fashionable, if slightly squeaky version of my former self. Fortunately, the monkeys move like invisible ninjas wearing velvet slippers on marshmallow clouds. (I have no idea what this means either, but i managed to get monkeys, slippers and food into one sentence, so I think we're still on track.)


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## chicken legs (Oct 5, 2010)

You were seduced by **insert sexy ssbhm** and whisked away to his fortress of yummy goodness (and cute monkeys).


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## WillSpark (Oct 5, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> You were seduced by **insert sexy ssbhm** and whisked away to his fortress of yummy goodness (and cute monkeys).



Pheh, you don't know the Doc. She doesn't deal in just "cute monkeys."

Tell her, P.


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## chicken legs (Oct 5, 2010)

WillSpark said:


> Pheh, you don't know the Doc. She doesn't deal in just "cute monkeys."
> 
> Tell her, P.


The sexy ssbhm used them to lure her into his fortress of yummy goodness, but she turned them into ninja monkeys and took over the fortress. The sexy ssbhm didn't mind because his guards sucked anyway.


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## Dr. P Marshall (Oct 5, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> You were seduced by **insert sexy ssbhm** and whisked away to his fortress of yummy goodness (and cute monkeys).





WillSpark said:


> Pheh, you don't know the Doc. She doesn't deal in just "cute monkeys."
> 
> Tell her, P.



:blush:Ahem.:blush: Actually, our dear chicken legs knows me better than you think. I don't like to talk about my weaknesses publicly, but the formula is pretty much the following:

sexyssbhm + fortress of yummy goodness + insanely, mind bendingly cute monkeys = Dr. P becomes a totally useless dipshit. 

I can withstand one or two of these things, but all three is pretty much the nightmare scenario. Fortunately, the ninja monkeys have long been trained for such an occurrence. They broke in, kicked some ass and reminded me (in a not AT ALL gentle manner) that I am in fact an unflinching killing machine hell bent on world domination with a violent monkey horde and the world just isn't going to dominate itself. So, to recap: ninja monkeys 1, fortress of yummy goodness 0, plans for world domination.....totally back on track.


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## WillSpark (Oct 5, 2010)

Dr. P Marshall said:


> :blush:Ahem.:blush: Actually, our dear chicken legs knows me better than you think. I don't like to talk about my weaknesses publicly, but the formula is pretty much the following:
> 
> sexyssbhm + fortress of yummy goodness + insanely, mind bendingly cute monkeys = Dr. P becomes a totally useless dipshit.
> 
> I can withstand one or two of these things, but all three is pretty much the nightmare scenario. Fortunately, the ninja monkeys have long been trained for such an occurrence. They broke in, kicked some ass and reminded me (in a not AT ALL gentle manner) that I am in fact an unflinching killing machine hell bent on world domination with a violent monkey horde and the world just isn't going to dominate itself. So, to recap: ninja monkeys 1, fortress of yummy goodness 0, plans for world domination.....totally back on track.



Stupid hobo intel. This is why I need relevant recon.


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## topher38 (Oct 10, 2010)

You've been working as a monkey paparazzi in upper Whereizitstan.


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## olwen (Oct 10, 2010)

You were training a gaggle of monkeys to go and kidnap small BHMs from places like comic book shops, burger kings, and sports bars, to bring them to your secret lair underneath the Holland Tunnel where you then proceeded to fatten then up so you could have wild sex orgies, but somehow your feeding machine malfunctioned and there was a terrible explosion. All your precious precious bhms died and so did some of your monkey minions but the remaining ones nursed you back to health and built you a new lair in the cliffs below the GW bridge where after your near death experience you realized that hot bhm orgies just weren't enough, so you turned your monkey minions into super monkey minions and you have been planning a super monkey minion assault on the world starting with Canada, cause let's face it, they deserve it, all smug up there with their snow and their canola, and their secret ninja mounty assassins who think they're better than our secret ninja FBI assassins...Canada sucks.

....Can I be your evil sidekick?


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## CastingPearls (Oct 10, 2010)

olwen said:


> You were training a gaggle of monkeys to go and kidnap small BHMs from places like comic book shops, burger kings, and sports bars, to bring them to your secret lair underneath the Holland Tunnel where you then proceeded to fatten then up so you could have wild sex orgies, but somehow your feeding machine malfunctioned and there was a terrible explosion. All your precious precious bhms died and so did some of your monkey minions but the remaining ones nursed you back to health and built you a new lair in the cliffs below the GW bridge where after your near death experience you realized that hot bhm orgies just weren't enough, so you turned your monkey minions into super monkey minions and you have been planning a super monkey minion assault on the world starting with Canada, cause let's face it, they deserve it, all smug up there with their snow and their canola, and their secret ninja mounty assassins who think they're better than our secret ninja FBI assassins...Canada sucks.
> 
> ....Can I be your evil sidekick?


I think I love you. <except for the Canada sucking part>


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## olwen (Oct 10, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> I think I love you. <except for the Canada sucking part>



I'm sorry CP, but evil sidekicks cannot love. And well if you are a Canuk I'm afraid you're still doomed.


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## CastingPearls (Oct 10, 2010)

olwen said:


> I'm sorry CP, but evil sidekicks cannot love. And well if you are a Canuk I'm afraid you're still doomed.


No, worse. I'm from New Jersey.


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## Dr. P Marshall (Oct 13, 2010)

topher38 said:


> You've been working as a monkey paparazzi in upper Whereizitstan.



If by "monkey paparazzi" you mean training a death squad of monkeys in mountain training camps then......yes. 



olwen said:


> You were training a gaggle of monkeys to go and kidnap small BHMs from places like comic book shops, burger kings, and sports bars, to bring them to your secret lair underneath the Holland Tunnel where you then proceeded to fatten then up so you could have wild sex orgies, but somehow your feeding machine malfunctioned and there was a terrible explosion. All your precious precious bhms died and so did some of your monkey minions but the remaining ones nursed you back to health and built you a new lair in the cliffs below the GW bridge where after your near death experience you realized that hot bhm orgies just weren't enough, so you turned your monkey minions into super monkey minions and you have been planning a super monkey minion assault on the world starting with Canada, cause let's face it, they deserve it, all smug up there with their snow and their canola, and their secret ninja mounty assassins who think they're better than our secret ninja FBI assassins...Canada sucks.
> 
> ....Can I be your evil sidekick?



Oh Olwen, I think from your extremely (ahem!) detailed description of what has been going on in my lair for the past few months the cat's out of the bag. Obviously you already ARE my evil sidekick. I see no need to hide it any more. :wubu: BUT I must stop this Canada bashing. First of all, many of the fine men and women who post to this board regularly hail from the Great White North, including my cyborg Melian. And.....there's the fact that Papa P (AKA My father) originated in New Brunswick. So, that would make me a pretty big hypocrite. (and I'm scared of Melian's vageser:blush Not to mention, Mountie ninja monkeys seem like one of the coolest concepts EVER. I do, however, love your irrational and unbridled hatred of a people and I suggest we immediately turn our wrath towards and vent our spleens at Liechtenstein. That's right. I know nothing about them. I am well traveled and have been educated with folks from all over but I have never met anyone from there and have never even met anyone who knows anyone from there. Also, the country appears to be one (not so) big mountain lair. And no one ever talks about them. So I've come to the obvious conclusion that the entire nation has been in one long secret meeting plotting mankind's downfall for centuries. Screw you Liechtenstein.


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## olwen (Oct 13, 2010)

Dr. P Marshall said:


> If by "monkey paparazzi" you mean training a death squad of monkeys in mountain training camps then......yes.
> 
> 
> 
> Oh Olwen, I think from your extremely (ahem!) detailed description of what has been going on in my lair for the past few months the cat's out of the bag. Obviously you already ARE my evil sidekick. I see no need to hide it any more. :wubu: BUT I must stop this Canada bashing. First of all, many of the fine men and women who post to this board regularly hail from the Great White North, including my cyborg Melian. And.....there's the fact that Papa P (AKA My father) originated in New Brunswick. So, that would make me a pretty big hypocrite. (and I'm scared of Melian's vageser:blush Not to mention, Mountie ninja monkeys seem like one of the coolest concepts EVER. I do, however, love your irrational and unbridled hatred of a people and I suggest we immediately turn our wrath towards and vent our spleens at Liechtenstein. That's right. I know nothing about them. I am well traveled and have been educated with folks from all over but I have never met anyone from there and have never even met anyone who knows anyone from there. Also, the country appears to be one (not so) big mountain lair. And no one ever talks about them. So I've come to the obvious conclusion that the entire nation has been in one long secret meeting plotting mankind's downfall for centuries. Screw you Liechtenstein.



Oh great, now I'll have to retrain all those monkeys. :doh: Seems I underestimated your attachments to - snow, canola, and ninja mounties. Very well. Our retrained super monkey minions will be there when Liechtenstein falls and it will be utterly glorious.


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## ManBeef (Oct 15, 2010)

You got stuck in detention with 4 other people from school that are in totally different cliques and after a lot of talking and HiJinx, came to understand one another and labeled yourselves the jock, the princess, the criminal, the basket case, and the brain?


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## Dr. P Marshall (Oct 17, 2010)

ManBeef said:


> You got stuck in detention with 4 other people from school that are in totally different cliques and after a lot of talking and HiJinx, came to understand one another and labeled yourselves the jock, the princess, the criminal, the basket case, and the brain?



And everything was fine until the inappropriate janitor showed up. Then things got AWESOME!!!!:smitten::smitten:


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## ManBeef (Oct 17, 2010)

Dr. P Marshall said:


> And everything was fine until the inappropriate janitor showed up. Then things got AWESOME!!!!:smitten::smitten:



LOL!!! Oh how they loved, laughed, & learned that day. Never had the scent of Pine-sol & vomit absorbing Stardust smelled so good. A work glove covered grope. A lip gloss stained name tag... Class, can we say "FUN"


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## Sasquatch! (Oct 20, 2010)

After the Lybians shot down your professor, you escaped in a time machine.

You got stuck in the year AD20 until you were able to craft a new fluxx capacitor from Roman soldier helmets.


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## Dr. P Marshall (Oct 20, 2010)

Sasquatch! said:


> After the Lybians shot down your professor, you escaped in a time machine.
> 
> You got stuck in the year AD20 until you were able to craft a new fluxx capacitor from Roman soldier helmets.



I almost didn't come back. I'm all for places where men don't wear pants.


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