# I'm going to need the Women's opinion on this...



## Hozay J Garseeya (Aug 10, 2012)

Notice I said Women's opinion and not FFA's.

I've noticed with my time here, that there are a majority of the men on the board that feel that if we label ourselves as BHM we will automatically be Gods of sex to "FFA's." 

The way I've seen things is, I am a human male first, and a fat human male secondly. I don't understand the thought process that by just showing up and shouting that I'm fat, a woman will come to me and by mine. I've always had the mentality that the fat aspect of my person was just something that was a quality that women/men find attractive, and that is to be coupled with who I am as a person. I have to be interesting, maybe funny and intelligent, have a job and support myself and things in that general vicinity. I've never assumed that by going around the boards stating that I'm a BHM and the "FFA's" should hit me up, I'd accomplish anything. 

Can I get some of the women (or men, I say women because I am attracted to women, but I love me some good lookin' man too) to offer insight. 

Is it okay for me/us to be people first and fat people second. Or are you okay if I can hold a conversation like a brick wall as long as I'm fat and a "BHM?"


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## theronin23 (Aug 10, 2012)

Jose, I love you. We need to have uber nerd impossi-babies.


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## penguin (Aug 10, 2012)

I sometimes get that same vibe, but with someone announcing they're an FA.


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Aug 10, 2012)

theronin23 said:


> Jose, I love you. We need to have uber nerd impossi-babies.



I've actually been meaning to tell you the same thing lately. 



penguin said:


> I sometimes get that same vibe, but with someone announcing they're an FA.



This idea never even crossed my mind. I mean it clearly can work the exact same way.


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## spiritangel (Aug 10, 2012)

Honestly I would preffer the intelligent conversation, humour and awesomeness that is you

the body type thing shrugs not a big deal. I find it interesting on the reverse of that where some men want to talk to you like your just a fat sexy body and nothing else and seem to get very miffed when it turns out you have a brain and are not that impressed by that sort of focus.....


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## cinnamitch (Aug 10, 2012)

I like a lot of the posts on this sub-forum and some of you seem like people that I could have fun with, but truthfully I have always felt the guys gravitate toward the FFA, while I am only a person who likes to get to know different people period. Also ya'll are quite young and I feel like a grandma in the midst. I just think there is so much more to a person than fat and you don't have to be physically attracted to someone to make a friend.


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## SitiTomato (Aug 10, 2012)

Well for sure! Of course you should always be a person first. I think the disconnect here is that since this a focused interest site about fat acceptance people seem to fixate on that. Forgetting it's also a forum full of individuals.

They see a place where instead of being avoided because of their size people are being praised for it and of course want to run in with their arms waving saying "HEY HEY I'M FAT TOO!!!"




penguin said:


> I sometimes get that same vibe, but with someone announcing they're an FA.



Yeah agreed, I've seen this too on places like Fantasy Feeder. People will start up a private chat and only say "Hey I like your fat!" and that's the only conversation they bring to the table.

I mean I love attention from FFAs but if they can't hold a basic conversation I get pretty bored and uninterested quickly.


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## Goreki (Aug 10, 2012)

Sorry to break it to you, and the rest of the boards' gentlemen, but looks aren't everything. I've seen a great many people use that exclusively in reference to conventionally attractive people, but it applies to everyone.

Some of the creepiest, most repulsive people I have ever met are completely my type physically. But as soon as you find out how horrible someone is on the inside (or even if you find out they're just off) you're going to do one of two things; abort mission, or fuck them until you can't stand to be around them anymore.

Simple answer. Have good hygiene, have good manners, don't be a dick, and maybe women will be more interested.


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## Goreki (Aug 10, 2012)

We do all still wuv you for your cheesy grin and cute arse though.


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## WVMountainrear (Aug 10, 2012)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> Notice I said Women's opinion and not FFA's.
> 
> I've noticed with my time here, that there are a majority of the men on the board that feel that if we label ourselves as BHM we will automatically be Gods of sex to "FFA's."
> 
> ...



You already know how I would answer this question, so I'm going to bring up a bit of a tangent.

Since when does your body size automatically dictate your attractiveness anyway? I mean, the whole concept of size acceptance to me means that beautiful people come in all shapes and sizes. But sometimes I feel like folks forget that ugly people also come in all shapes and sizes. Yes, I'm about to say this on Dimensions: there are ugly fat people. (Ermahgerd!)

I'm a big chick who also appreciates the hell out of a big dude. But just because you're fat doesn't automatically mean you're attractive to me. It takes a whole person. (And not just a picture of a chubby torso with no head or limbs...like some kind of Dims "Boxing Helena" bullshit.) Can I appreciate a picture of a good-looking guy? Absolutely, I do!! (And none of this, incidentally, should be construed as me saying you hot BHMs should stop posting pictures. Please, _please_ continue.) What I am saying is that just because you post a picture doesn't mean I (or any woman really) is going to dash to ask you out without knowing anything else about you, as Hozay so capably points out. A good pic can be an ice-breaker for some (causing people to search all of your posts for evidence of an actual personality...and a face), but if headless, shirtless "hit me up" posts are all you make, you probably won't get a lot of *genuine* interest. Some attention based on what you look like, maybe, but not a lot of interest based on who you are.

Edit: Sometimes I'm sure the attention is the goal, though, so more power to 'em!

Also, I'm upset that you didn't ask this question via totally nude video post.


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## biglynch (Aug 10, 2012)

Being fat essentially is what has brought most of the guys here, and the ffas have an appreciation of this form so thats what brings them in. This wont keep you here though. For me I like a moan in the what pisses me off thread. I like seeing what the rest of the peoples have been up to. I like to post a pic or two, and l love the awesome conversations that pop up in threads at random: see the Im back thread. Even if I pass no comment, Its nice to here about people passing a test, or getting into film school. Thats why I stay around here. Others want to turn up, kick in the doors with the fat man alarm like they are the last fat man on the planet, then declare HES ON SALE! SO GET IT FAST. Week or two passes and they are done because they arent being serviced by ffas around the globe. 

Im not saying that if the chance to meet a lady came up I wouldnt take it, but hoping you will as your sole reason for using the forum is nuts. I genuinely think if you could not see yourself going for a beer with the Dudes, then dont bother trying to with the ladies because you have missed the point, This is a community; a place for people who have things in common. Not an advertising space for fatman of the year or Worlds Next Top FFA, even if that would be a pretty awesome show.

Have I stumbled off subject?


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## WVMountainrear (Aug 10, 2012)

biglynch said:


> Being fat essentially is what has brought most of the guys here, and the ffas have an appreciation of this form so thats what brings them in. This wont keep you here though. For me I like a moan in the what pisses me off thread. I like seeing what the rest of the peoples have been up to. I like to post a pic or two, and l love the awesome conversations that pop up in threads at random: see the Im back thread. Even if I pass no comment, Its nice to here about people passing a test, or getting into film school. Thats why I stay around here. Others want to turn up, kick in the doors with the fat man alarm like they are the last fat man on the planet, then declare HES ON SALE! SO GET IT FAST. Week or two passes and they are done because they arent being serviced by ffas around the globe.
> 
> Im not saying that if the chance to meet a lady came up I wouldnt take it, but hoping you will as your sole reason for using the forum is nuts. I genuinely think if you could not see yourself going for a beer with the Dudes, then dont bother trying to with the ladies because you have missed the point, This is a community; a place for people who have things in common. Not an advertising space for fatman of the year or Worlds Next Top FFA, even if that would be a pretty awesome show.
> 
> Have I stumbled off subject?



I think you're right on topic, sir. Well said.


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Aug 10, 2012)

biglynch said:


> Being fat essentially is what has brought most of the guys here, and the ffas have an appreciation of this form so thats what brings them in. This wont keep you here though. For me I like a moan in the what pisses me off thread. I like seeing what the rest of the peoples have been up to. I like to post a pic or two, and l love the awesome conversations that pop up in threads at random: see the Im back thread. Even if I pass no comment, Its nice to here about people passing a test, or getting into film school. Thats why I stay around here. Others want to turn up, kick in the doors with the fat man alarm like they are the last fat man on the planet, then declare HES ON SALE! SO GET IT FAST. Week or two passes and they are done because they arent being serviced by ffas around the globe.
> 
> Im not saying that if the chance to meet a lady came up I wouldnt take it, but hoping you will as your sole reason for using the forum is nuts. I genuinely think if you could not see yourself going for a beer with the Dudes, then dont bother trying to with the ladies because you have missed the point, This is a community; a place for people who have things in common. Not an advertising space for fatman of the year or Worlds Next Top FFA, even if that would be a pretty awesome show.
> 
> Have I stumbled off subject?



You said what I wanted to say, but you said it better.


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## biglynch (Aug 10, 2012)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> You said what I wanted to say, but you said it better.



cheers buddy


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## djudex (Aug 11, 2012)

I think it's the same for most people who find traits physically or sexually appealing that aren't in the realms of fetish. For instance in my case I greatly enjoy red hair as a preference but it certainly isn't to fetish status where red hair is all I see and that's enough to get shit revving because there are a lot of red heads I simply don't find appealing. In return I totally get that just because someone doesn't find me attractive doesn't mean they're a bitch or that they're just too blind to see how good I am for them because let's be honest I'm a pretty acquired taste physically, not every women is looking for a flesh tone Shrek body type. I don't get cheesed at them for that anymore than I would expect a woman to cheesed at me for not finding them appealing. After all, Melian (Gods bless her dark, deviant soul) isn't going to leave her husband, drop to her knees and start hoovering just because I'm a fatty that finds her appealing and I can't blame her at all for that (Well, maybe I can blame her a little bit ).

I got off topic there I think...bottom line is don't expect women to jump on a plane and then your cock because they like fat guys and you're a fat guy, it takes way more than that which it should because what the Hell kind of a basis is that for anything?


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## chicken legs (Aug 11, 2012)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> Notice I said Women's opinion and not FFA's.
> 
> I've noticed with my time here, that there are a majority of the men on the board that feel that if we label ourselves as BHM we will automatically be Gods of sex to "FFA's."
> 
> ...



Ever try wrapping your dick in box..?


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## theronin23 (Aug 11, 2012)

chicken legs said:


> Ever try wrapping your dick in box..?



It's hard to fit FUPA into a box.


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## MrBob (Aug 11, 2012)

Being fat has not got me anywhere with women. Being a cheeky scamp has, however, worked wonders. It's a cliché but I think personality and sense of humour go a long way. At least I hope they do, they're my weapons of choice.


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## Sasquatch! (Aug 11, 2012)

Wait what? Women here dig fat guys?? THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHAING.


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## ODFFA (Aug 11, 2012)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> Is it okay for me/us to be people first and fat people second. Or are you okay if I can hold a conversation like a brick wall as long as I'm fat and a "BHM?"



People first, good sir! Totally agree with what you said here. I honestly would never stay in a relationship or even 'hit someone up' _just_ because they're a BHM! I'm a human being first too, after all 

I would struggle to be in as loving as possible a relationship with a scrawny or muscular guy, because - just being honest - from my side, I would struggle with the attraction side of things. That's what I feel makes me an FFA. 

Having a preference, even quite a strong one, doesn't automatically make one shallow (I know you know this!) But where there is a preference, a community, etc, you will find shallow individuals unfortunately. 

Hope that makes sense. Nice discussion!


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## Tad (Aug 17, 2012)

biglynch said:


> I genuinely think if you could not see yourself going for a beer with the Dudes, then dont bother trying to with the ladies because you have missed the point, This is a community; a place for people who have things in common. Not an advertising space for fatman of the year or Worlds Next Top FFA, even if that would be a pretty awesome show.



So well said, I wish we could put it on a banner!

And to the question of the original post, and touching on what Djudex said.... I remember in younger days admitting to one friend that I tended to find red hair attractive. After which if we were out on our own he'd point out every red head saying "She's your type!" I could never understand why he'd think that one trait alone would make someone my type, but it seemed to be where his mind was at the time.

I think the same sort of thinking applies on these boards sometimes--more often from guys (be they BHM, FA, or both), but sometimes with women. They show up, and seem to think that the only thing that really matters about them is that they are fat, or are an FA. They announce this fact, not much else, then seemed shocked and appalled that they get ignored.

Sometimes I feel sorry for them, and feel like I should nudge them to get more involved. But then I usually think 'maybe it is just better this way.' and perhaps 'There is value in truth in advertising.'

-Tad


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## biglynch (Aug 17, 2012)

Tad said:


> Sometimes I feel sorry for them, and feel like I should nudge them to get more involved. But then I usually think 'maybe it is just better this way.' and perhaps 'There is value in truth in advertising.'
> 
> -Tad


Cheers Tad. I may make that my banner now.

On the last point made i would say their is no value in advertising when people don't care about the product. So we go back to needing them to get more involved.

On a random side note, due to a trending style of picture i want to start a band called Headless bellies.
FYI peoples i have tonnes of bad band names i like.


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## theronin23 (Aug 17, 2012)

biglynch said:


> Cheers Tad. I may make that my banner now.
> 
> On the last point made i would say their is no value in advertising when people don't care about the product. So we go back to needing them to get more involved.
> 
> ...



Ooooo! Can I open for the Headless Bellies with my band, Creepy PMs?


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## MrBob (Aug 17, 2012)

theronin23 said:


> Ooooo! Can I open for the Headless Bellies with my band, Creepy PMs?



Can I play with my new band...KingBoo & the HMU's?

And am I the only one not getting creepy PM's? All the ones I've received have been rather pleasant.


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## biglynch (Aug 17, 2012)

theronin23 said:


> Ooooo! Can I open for the Headless Bellies with my band, Creepy PMs?



you are on the gig after Bob and just before swedish death metal outfit and German industrial rockers, Necro Post and Die Toten Themen (The Dead Threads)

Good festival so far?


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## theronin23 (Aug 17, 2012)

MrBob said:


> Can I play with my new band...KingBoo & the HMU's?
> 
> And am I the only one not getting creepy PM's? All the ones I've received have been rather pleasant.





biglynch said:


> you are on the gig after Bob and just before swedish death metal outfit and German industrial rockers, Necro Post and Die Toten Themen (The Dead Threads)
> 
> Good festival so far?




Best. Festival. Ever.

Now all we're missing is a dragon...


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Aug 18, 2012)

biglynch said:


> Cheers Tad. I may make that my banner now.
> 
> On the last point made i would say their is no value in advertising when people don't care about the product. So we go back to needing them to get more involved.
> 
> ...





theronin23 said:


> Ooooo! Can I open for the Headless Bellies with my band, Creepy PMs?





MrBob said:


> Can I play with my new band...KingBoo & the HMU's?
> 
> And am I the only one not getting creepy PM's? All the ones I've received have been rather pleasant.





biglynch said:


> you are on the gig after Bob and just before swedish death metal outfit and German industrial rockers, Necro Post and Die Toten Themen (The Dead Threads)
> 
> Good festival so far?





theronin23 said:


> Best. Festival. Ever.
> 
> Now all we're missing is a dragon...



I want to be apart of ALL of this.


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## sarahe543 (Aug 18, 2012)

i am going to a IRL festival tomorrow. Can my virtual band be called MOOB CANYON?


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## samuraiscott (Aug 30, 2012)

I only use the term "BHM" around those who either understand or on my Facebook wall because I have a lot of Dimmers as friends, and the comment is directed at those who understand the term.

I Have never dated an FFA; I have only dated women who were not initially physically attracted to me but who have given me a chance based on my personality. I would like to date an FFA one day, but there just does not seem to be many in my neck of the woods.

I don't think to myself that because I am fat that all FFAs should swoon over me; people that I used to go to high school with thought all fat people have the same preferences and we all know that not to be true.

My size is just the first thing anyone notices about me; I don't think it makes me attractive. I am a man but society labels me as fat or obese before they call me a man.


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## WhiteHotRazor (Aug 31, 2012)

I honestly never use any of the terms.


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## seeker421 (Sep 1, 2012)

I think its all about confidence and personality. Looks can bring someone in but if you aren't fun to be around people won't want to be around you.


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## lille (Sep 2, 2012)

lovelylady78 said:


> OMG yes! It drives me absolutely up a wall when someone post measurements and someone else goes "You sound sexy/gorgeous/whatever". Numbers mean absolutely nothing as far as attractiveness.


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## fitforfat (Sep 9, 2012)

I think it's the same as any type of dating/relationship whether it involves FFAs and BHMs or not. Some people (male or female) are looking for a physical, short-term relationship or even a one night stand because of their mindset or lifestyle, but others are looking for a deeper, long-term connection. 

If a big guy can't hold a conversation to save his life, there will probably still be a few FFA's that want to jump his bones depending on how hot he is, but they probably won't be dating him for long if they can't talk to him or share his interests.


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