# Fat MPDG



## superodalisque (Mar 21, 2015)

this isn't a new article but a good one. I think we fat women go through this too -- as there really isn't that much difference really between all women except the artificial difference that society puts there. I think it's very easy to become someone's MPDG online. a few cute pix or posts about the cool stuff you like is enough for that. have you ever been someone's FMPDG? what made you their FMPDG ? how did it work for you at the time? 


*I Am Not Your Manic Pixie Dream Girl*

Tatiana Tenreyro / 22 hours ago March 21, 2015 


 During my teenage years, I desired to be a manic pixie dream girl.
A manic pixie dream girl (or MPDG) is the female character in television and film who is quirky and makes the male protagonist fall in love with her and his own life. Although I was quirky, I longed to be the type of quirky that would be deemed desirable by men. At the time, it seemed like they were the only female characters that made it acceptable to be quirky and awkward while still holding a strong romantic appeal.
Flash forward a few years, it finally happened: a guy referred to me as his “manic pixie dream girl.”

While part of me should be happy that I finally “made it” and am considered on par with the Maudes and Penny Lanes of the world, I no longer see the appeal of being a MPDG. Now that I’m older, I am able to recognize that the MPDG trope is shallow and is mostly used to further the male protagonist’s story instead of creating a dynamic female character with depth.
If there’s anything I’ve learned from the multiple films that feature the trope is that the men quickly fall in love with these women, but use arbitrary traits of these women to support the idea that they are their ideal romantic partners, such as having similar taste in music, having similar hobbies, and their physical traits.

Although I fantasized about being a MPDG, I never thought that men chose their romantic interests according to the same shallow standards that the characters in films such as 500 Days of Summer did. In the film, Tom was infatuated with his idealization of Summer. She was attractive and she enjoyed the same obscure stuff he did. To him, that seemed enough to consider her as his ideal romantic partner. It would be silly to consider the same standards for a relationship in life.

However, I have noticed that the men who show interest in me tend to idealize me in the same way. They are more focused on the interests we have in common than who I am as a person. While being told that I’m someone’s “dream girl” is nice, I can’t help but think that they have created this false version of me in their mind that is nothing like who I actually am. Having similar interests in music and film is not enough to judge two people’s compatibility. It does not mean I “get you” or that I’m any better or worse than any other potential romantic partner. I do not wish to be an idealization or play the role of the quirky girl who saves the good-looking angsty guy who thinks that a girl who listens to The Shins or The Smiths will magically make his life better.

I am tired of men not being able to see beyond my shared traits with these MPDGs and getting to know the real me. If anything, the Manic Pixie Dream Girls in films are a product of patriarchal ideals that make women an accessory in a man’s life. They are poorly developed characters who pleasure the male gaze and cause men to think that those shallow traits are the only things they need in a love interest.

While I can see why a girl—such as my teenaged self—would want the Manic Pixie Dream Girl image, it is important to be aware of the true meaning behind the trope. You should not be reduced to some sort of fantasy; you deserve more than that. You deserve to be loved for the real person you are.


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## Yakatori (Mar 22, 2015)

superodalisque said:


> "_*I Am Not Your Manic Pixie Dream Girl*
> 
> Tatiana Tenreyro / 22 hours ago March 21, 2015
> https://bitchtopia.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/screen-shot-2015-03-16-at-4-29-02-pm.png A manic pixie dream girl (or MPDG)...arbitrary traits of these women to support the idea that they are their ideal romantic partners, such as having *similar taste in music, having similar hobbies*, and their physical traits....shallow standards that the characters in films such as 500 Days of Summer did. In the film, Tom was infatuated with his idealization of Summer. She was attractive and she *enjoyed the same obscure stuff he did*. To him, that seemed enough to consider her as his ideal romantic partner. It would be silly to consider the same standards for a relationship in life....Having *similar interests in music and film* is not enough to judge two peoples compatibility. It does not mean I get you or that Im any better or worse than any other potential romantic partner._"


When you're in your late teens-early 20's your obscure interests are not shallow or trivial to you. They are reflections of your still developing, emerging independence.

As you get older, are exposed to more, and develop more appreciation for a wider array of stuff....even more so it reflects something about what you're like, your values.

The best relationships, in my view, have the just-right balance of overlap, neither too much or too little in common. It helps to create a tension that's constructive.

But, still, I wouldn't like it if someone I really care about wouldn't open themselves up to something I was really into.


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## superodalisque (Mar 22, 2015)

Yakatori said:


> When you're in your late teens-early 20's your obscure interests are not shallow or trivial to you. They are reflections of your still developing, emerging independence.
> 
> As you get older, are exposed to more, and develop more appreciation for a wider array of stuff....even more so it reflects something about what you're like, your values.
> 
> ...


 
thx for the imput but sorry but this if for the girls to answer since guys have absolutely no experience with being someone's dream girl or what that means for women. only they can speak directly to that particular experience. sometimes it's not about what you are into, which is something men sometimes have a hard time understanding. there are lots of people out there who could care less if their SO is into what they are already into. there are a lot of people out there who have nothing in common except each other.


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## Yakatori (Mar 22, 2015)

superodalisque said:


> ...guys have absolutely no experience with being someone's dream girl or what that means for women....not about what you are into...lots of people out there who could care less if their SO is into what they are already into. there are a lot of people out there who have nothing in common except each other.


Sure, all of that. Still, I was more just articulating my own resentment at the idea of my pleasure in sharing favorite films/movies as reduced to such a trope.

I think it's kind of unfair.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Mar 22, 2015)

I think that common interests are incredibly important. Who I truly am is reflected in my interests - the books I read, the activities I do, and he conversations I take part in. Considering I spend far more time with my husband in non sexual activities than sexual, this is critical for a healthy relationship. 

However, I think that being interested in each other even when it _isn't_ a common interest is just as important. My guy didn't spend 12 hours over the last two days at my agility hall watching my puppies barrel around courses...but he did laugh and watch the videos with me when I got home. When he goes off about the European Union and North Korea I am not interested for my own sake; but I listen, ask questions, and understand his point of view because it is his passion.

I think that if you are someone else's ideal (sexually or otherwise) it is a great thing...as long as you don't take _your_ identity from _their_ fantasy. 

As an aside; I don't think it's fair to say guy's haven't experienced this. I see posts all over facebook and other places where women are doing the same thing to men.


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## superodalisque (Mar 22, 2015)

Yakatori said:


> Sure, all of that. Still, I was more just articulating my own resentment at the idea of my pleasure in sharing favorite films/movies as reduced to such a trope.
> 
> I think it's kind of unfair.


 
I am asking you nicely to please bow out of this discussion since it's asking for a woman's perspective. it has nothing at all to do with your needs or your views of fair or unfair. maybe start a threat in the FA forum addressing the same ?


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