# Pedi's & rudeness...



## TheMrs (Jul 15, 2011)

The last few times I've went I felt uncomfortable. It's usually tiny little Asian ppl who do them and they stare and whisper to one another. I know I'm heavy but still. It felt kinda good today. They were talking under their breath to one another and I leaned forward and said kinda loud "I'm fat not deaf & your tip will reflect this conversation if I need to say it again." I felt empowered! And I left with gorgeous pink toes! They must've understood because no one whispered again........ Until I left I'm sure=D


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## MissAshley (Jul 15, 2011)

Could you hear anything they said? I have had that happen too, and I have heard stories about the Asian lady's whispering, giggling, and stuff from friends as well. Not trying to dismiss your instinct of the possibility that they could have being catty about you though.


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## TheMrs (Jul 15, 2011)

I could hear them but not understand them as they were talking in their native tongue. I try to tell myself "feelings aren't facts" but I've been around long enough to get it I know that "Eww fat girl!" look from the..."Mmm, oh yeah fat girl" look


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## Miss Vickie (Jul 15, 2011)

I must be oblivious. I've gotten pedicures over the years, nearly always from Asian shops, and never noticed anyone giving me a look or seeming to talk about me. Even when my feet are (to me) nasty, calloused, with a bits of old polish hanging in there. 

There were several 400 pound ladies in the shop I was in today, and I saw them treated courteously, with nary an ugly glance or unkind comment. Maybe it's happening and I'm missing it; maybe sometimes we assume people are talking about us and our weight when they're not. I'm sure a little of both is true.

Today? I had a lovely "special" pedicure with salt scrub, mint masque, paraffin dip, nice long leg massage and some nice purple polish. I went in with some nasty feet (I go barefoot a lot and my feet callous like crazy) and left with beautiful, purple-tipped paws.


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## TheMrs (Jul 15, 2011)

Your pedi sounds a little fancier than mine...and oh so lovely


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## CastingPearls (Jul 15, 2011)

The salon I go to is owned by a Vietnamese couple and they're very very friendly. They have both Caucasian and Asian employees. The only trouble I have with them is that the husband likes to hold my hand waaaaay too much and has made some suggestive comments but they do the best job I've ever known and he's toned it down a lot, and they're relatively inexpensive so I'm happy.

I did go to a huge salon that was all Asian and they talked about everyone, not just fat people. I made quick friends with the owner and noticed that the employees deferred to me because of the friendship so that ended. I left because I moved to another state.

The worst salon I ever went to was 100% All American Caucasian. They talked about everyone (including me) in English to everyone (including me) and in disgust, I left. They were also the most expensive and the least professional in their service in every way.


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## Sweet Tooth (Jul 16, 2011)

I've gone to 3 types of salons... a one-person show, all-Asian nail salons, and all-English speaking nail salons.

The one where I got to know the pedicurist and it was just me and her was the best. We developed a friendship over the years. [I met her when she worked in a hair salon, but pedicures were done in a little room so it was always just us.] She knew what I liked and I could talk to her about various preferences and needs. I'm allergic to aloe, and it's very hard to find products without it. She'll buy products with me in mind if she knows I'll be coming in. I've never had a problem with her being rude, even when we were new to one another. And because there weren't other people around, I felt very comfortable having frank discussions with her about things that might be issues due to weight so we could find solutions together.

At the English-speaking nail salons, which were beautiful and very well-appointed, and I haven't been to many, the girls were gossipy and petty, but I could understand it and they could engage me in conversation about it. Totally ruined my enjoyment of the process, even if it wasn't about me in front of me. Because they were still mass-production places, they didn't care about taking into account my personal needs. However, when I did have problems, it was easy to talk to a manager about it.

I've been to a few Asian nail salons, and they've been a crap shoot. I know I've had people talk about me. In new places, you could see the "oh, who's going to be stuck doing the fat girl" discussion. I try to stick now with one particular nail salon where they've gotten to know me and I know which pedicurists will be the most personable. If I see that only one that's working is someone I want touching my feet, I'll wait for that person. Of course, I get frustrated not always being able to communicate, but my favorite pedicurist is this college-age boy who does a great job, has the strength to lift my legs for callus removal, and speaks excellent English without getting embroiled in gossip. I've heard arguments BETWEEN the ladies there that get quite heated. They also know that I tip well when it's deserved, so they'll fight to have me as a client. One thing I did learn from a new girl is that the foot rest part of their pedi chairs actually hinges up to give the client a place to rest their foot while getting callus removal, which is a nice thing for a fat girl with big legs.

It's frustrating to get poor service and feel like a pariah for having a particular body. Let's be honest, some of those skinny girls are stronger than they look but some just can't lift our legs like they might need to do. I don't blame them for a realistic assessment of a client. BUT our money is as green as anyone else's, and we deserve beautiful, well-maintained feet because they do a hell of a good job toting around our bodies. And if you're limited by salon options, an iPod can be a fat girl's best friend.


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## HottiMegan (Jul 16, 2011)

I have never had a pedicure. I have such ticklish feet that i get really twitchy when someone even tries to touch my feet. 
I have gotten a handful of manicures though. I like the ones where it's just one person running their own show best. I have also had some great experiences getting my nails done at the local beauty school. My weight has never been an issue but maybe because it was just manicures.


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## MissHoney (Jul 16, 2011)

I remember going in to get mani's and pedi's when I was an itty bitty thing and I felt like they were talking about me, even then. I think it's just natural to assume that, when you can't understand what they're saying.


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## Jes (Jul 16, 2011)

I've been most often to 2 different salons: one along the lines you're describing, with the 2 small Vietnamese women, dressed to the 9s, towering high heels and very glam, and one run by a Vietnamese family (men and women) who are some of the nicest people I see every 2 weeks. 

At the first place, I know full well I was discussed and the 2 women didn't do anything to hide it. I cared, but at the same I didn't care. We've all done shit jobs where we bitch about customers (if you don't fall into that generalization, my apologies). Most of us do it out of earshot; if you speak a relatively unusual language, you're going to assume you ARE speaking out of earshot (and you're mostly going to be right). But body language rarely lies and as I said, I could tell I was most likely being called the giant american with the [whatever] feet. And b/c that kind of smack talk is unnecessary and unkind, I got defensive and just thought: think what you want--you spend your days squatting on the floor and scraping peoples' dirty feet, and you get dressed up in diamonds every day to do it. Is that mean? Yup. Real mean. 

The salon I go to now is fantastic, as I said. I think that the language barrier can allow people to get mean unchecked, but I would suspect that the 2 women in my earlier salon were just mean, period. The family that runs my current salon often does speak in Vietnamese, but the few times I've detected someone discussing me, and I nod inquisitively, the worker says something nice about me and says it in a way that I know she was really, truly, saying that to the employee next to her (they say I have 'baby hands' b/c they're chubby and they point to their own thinner hands, which show veins more easily. I always laugh b/c it's not anything I ever would've even thought to notice, but why wouldn't they--they deal with hands all day long!)

No one in my current salon even approaches the glam-ness of the 2 women at the first place, but diamonds and high heels can't make an ugly woman pretty and that's a goddamned fact.

Should you ever actually hear something negative said about you, I really encourage you to say: If your job makes you so miserable that you have to berate your customers, you should think about getting a different job. 

People really do need to get feedback sometimes and we should not feel embarrassed to give it.


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## GlassDaemon (Jul 16, 2011)

I've never gone to get a pedicure alone, I always go with either my mother or my best friend, or both, both of them are large ladies as well. We always go to one specific salon cause we like them, though we don't go often so we're not known customers. We're not particularly self conscious people, well maybe my best friend is but not when she's with me and my mother it's hard to be self conscious around us just because of the way me and my mom generally act.

Another good friend of mine used to bitch and complain whenever someone would glance our way going on and on about how they were talking about us and would whisper under her breath silly little things like "Oh, you better look away, bitch." or "Don't you start talkin bout me." Of course we never actually knew if they were talking about us, she'd just happen to catch their eyes for a moment. And every time she'd do this I'd tell her to shut up that people really don't care, they're too worried about YOU looking at them and talking about THEM. 

My point is unless you're 100% certain they're talking about you, and that means physically hearing them say it - because I firmly believe peoples self conscious nature can make them believe something that isn't true or isn't happening - you need to calm down. Odds are, they're not talking about you, odds are, they see big women all day long if they work in an American Salon. 

So I sit at the salon with my best friend and/or my mom and the little Asian's scrub our feet and I laugh and squirm cause I'm outrageously ticklish. I talk and giggle to my girlfriend and the Asians talk in their foreign language to each other. And at the end of it I tip them because they didn't hurt me and did a good job and that's why I went there. If they wanna talk about me when I'm out of earshot or in their foreign language, fine, cause I'm probably going to talk about them when I leave. Judge not less ye be judged yourself, right?

Now, I will say I feel like they're talking about my body hair, I shave and do my own ritual and I won't go in unless I've recently shaved but my leg hair is so thick that immediately after shaving you can still see hundreds of little black dots where the hair follicle grows in at. I literally have 5 'o' clock shadow on my legs, it sucks and I wanna hide my shins and yea I feel like they're talking about me, but I'm realistic the odds they're actually talking about my leg hair and not the hot chick they screwed last night (I always seem to have males) is very unlikely.


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## CarlaSixx (Jul 16, 2011)

I've gone to 2 nail salons, one run by all caucasians, and one owned by an Asian family. The one that was all caucasian was extremely snooty and gossipy. I didn't like it and didn't return.

The one that was run by the Asian family was great. They were really friendly, made great conversation, and aparently loved my hands. They never once were mean or seemed to talk rudely about customers to themselves. In fact, they always spoke English until customers were gone, and even then, didn't sound like they were repulsed. In fact, looked more like they ordered lunch, lol. Well... that's because they were pointing at things on a menu in front of them and the lady motionned to the man towards the phone. :happy:

Mind you, a lot of people are fat around here. Not as fat as me, but at least visibly fat. Especially in my end of the city, so I'm sure most of the Asian shop's clientele are fat, and so they're used to it. The other salon, however, is where the rich teens go to get their nails done. You know, the politician's daughter and the lawyer's mistress  They certainly aren't paying for the nails themselves, and I've yet to see someone pay with a debit card or cash. All of it has been with credit.


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## bonified (Jul 16, 2011)

Lol, its one thing getting all vulnerable with a stranger touching your feet. Feet are an intimate part of the body imo, but when its time for your intimate bits to get their hot wax fun, especially first visit, you can get all kindsa crazy thoughts in your mind.

I talk to the girls, fk around with them if their boss isn't there etc i mean they are people too, they help me feel good, I like that, I see a lot of people come in & not even attempt conversation, i dunno if its cos their english isn't too crash hot or its that sense of entitlement thing, , but if i were in the salon, sitting next to my friend/co- worker, id be talking about everything & anything to pass the time whilst i was playing with someone elses feet, especially if no one gave me the time of day, or tried to start a conversation etc lol. 

Don't be paranoid, just try and talk with the girls, they are bored and everyone has a story. 

Thing is with all types of small front line customer servicey places, staff talk about clientele, when I was doing the restaurant thing, damn, we had codes and nicknames for reg's, I learnt another language partially just so i could bitch properly with the kitchen guys. It's work, and just the way it is.


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## SarahLaughsAlot (Jul 19, 2011)

I have never encountered rudeness over my weight before. I guess that's the perks of living in a small town where everyone knows you lol. i'm really sorry that happened =( but at least your toes are purdeee!


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## superodalisque (Jul 23, 2011)

i love the Asian salons i've gone to. they've always been really nice to me. i have had them look shocked at my size when i was up north at times but never mean to me. i did open a convo so that they felt comfy and they could talk to me and ask me questions honestly and i could ask them honestly what they thought. i have allowed them to touch me if they wanted to. one girl who was born in the US got addicted to hugging me. i made a close friend from both Korea and Uzbekistan that way. 

my friend from Korea said they NEVER saw ANYONE my size at home. they were amazed there was so much food and thought we were lucky. giggling for them is not a sign of disgust its a sign of amazement and total disbelief that they just can't help. there just doesn't seem to be that much food in the world to people from North Korea. its not seen as a bad thing but that you are lucky to have so much food. my friend from Uzbekistan could care less what size i was since most women around where she grew up often became my size when they were older. it was natural. it's expected to enjoy food. she told me that the only reason they didn't get fat earlier was because they had to work too hard and might not have the money.

i never had a pedi in Japan but i know that there too being very fat is a sign of good luck. people like to rub your belly and go gambling at one of those little corner stores lol. whatever you do never pass one fat. you will be kindly but physically violated. even though the Japanese seem to have a lot of pressure on each other to be thin they don't seem require it of everyone. they don't seem to personally hate you if you are different or expect you to be like them but they can be inappropriately curious of people or things that are, just like Americans. they stare really hard and ask a lot of personal and probing questions that they never would ordinarily. that's why a lot of Americans who teach there often rush to get home because they can't handle being that different. it gives them a little taste of what it used to be to be black in this country in the old days. its a lot of pressure to be observed so intensely all of the time, even when it isn't meant badly. nobody likes being othered to death.

generally the most hostility i've seen in pedi salons has been because clients came in and were offensive. Americans are extremely rude compared to Asians and often say very ignorant and racist things without meaning to. sometimes their tone when asking about cleanliness etc... is really wrong and then they come up with the nastiest pair of hooves you've ever seen. we really tend to think we can say the worst things to people with accents and not originally from here. just like any human beings, when someone says or does something you think is rude, you are going to ridicule them behind their back or even to their face. its not fair to stereotype but we do it and they do it too. they're human. face it, Americans aren't always that nice, especially in this economy, so i can see why people might develop a tude.

PS: our oil politics all over the world has not helped the vision of the fat greedy uncaring ugly American. it has less to do with actually being fat than what they feel Americans are getting fat off of politically. sometimes its just not personal.


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## TheMrs (Jul 27, 2011)

I've been back since last time, same girl did my pedi, she was very nice this time. Her other co-workers were also busy so maybe they didn't have time to chit-chat as usual. Either way, I felt more at ease this time. Thanks for all the responses


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## CastingPearls (Jul 27, 2011)

My nail salon was bought out by a friend of the last couple who owned it. They've totally revamped it and now have luxury pedi-chairs with arms that flip up so I dare say a bbw of ANY size could easily fit in one. I was able to flip the arm down anyway and took full advantage of the multi-speed massage remote and was a very happy camper.

To be honest, the techs did talk to each other back and forth but I didn't care. I don't know if it was about me or not. It just didn't matter. I had a great time, the price was right and I walked out feeling like a queen.


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## fluffyandcute (Jul 27, 2011)

I had tried a few salons but one place I went too instead of the guy massaging my legs and rubbing them down with lotion like they do, he started pounding on my legs. I mean he was beating me to death! It hurt very badly  I had bruises that evening! I never went back there again!
I have found one now that I really like! They charge a little more but it is worth it to not get beaten on


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## Lamia (Jul 28, 2011)

My neice has a salon and does my pedicures. She does a great job and pampers me royally.  I love how my feet feel in the water and how soft they are after. She did scream at me for messing up my polish by sticking my feet in my sneakers lol


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## wtchmel (Jul 28, 2011)

Oh my God! I thought it was just me that this had happened to. I havent had a pedi since this happened, it's been 3 years! ( now I just do them myself) My friend and i went into a nail salon, everyone there was asian. As soon as I sat down, the girl they 'gave' me was pissed, it was obvious. SHe literally had a scowl on her face, never talked to me, never smiled, nothing. JUst scowled and talked angry in her language to the lady 'doing' my friend. She was so angry, she was taking it out on my feet. WHen she scrubbed them, she was doing it super super aggresively, like she was going to 'scrub that fat off if it was the last thing she did!' at the end of the pedi, she just walked away, never said fuckin word to me at all. I didn't tip her, but tipped the manicurist overly so, because she was the pedicurists polar opposite. I don't feel comfortable going and getting my toes done now. I've been traumatized, and it makes me have evil fantasies about the pedicurists, so i stay away.lol


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## TheMrs (Jul 28, 2011)

wtchmel said:


> Oh my God! I thought it was just me that this had happened to. I havent had a pedi since this happened, it's been 3 years! ( now I just do them myself) My friend and i went into a nail salon, everyone there was asian. As soon as I sat down, the girl they 'gave' me was pissed, it was obvious. SHe literally had a scowl on her face, never talked to me, never smiled, nothing. JUst scowled and talked angry in her language to the lady 'doing' my friend. She was so angry, she was taking it out on my feet. WHen she scrubbed them, she was doing it super super aggresively, like she was going to 'scrub that fat off if it was the last thing she did!' at the end of the pedi, she just walked away, never said fuckin word to me at all. I didn't tip her, but tipped the manicurist overly so, because she was the pedicurists polar opposite. I don't feel comfortable going and getting my toes done now. I've been traumatized, and it makes me have evil fantasies about the pedicurists, so i stay away.lol



That's AWFUL. That should NOT have happened. I'm sorry you went thru that. The way I look at it is THEY chose to be in the "service" industry. THEY are at OUR feet wanting OUR money so they treat EVERYONE who sits in that seat with respect, afterall, they're paying YOUR paycheck. Not that gives anyone a right to be rude or mean to them, and I would never be hurtful purposefully. Sigh. Whatever happened to the Golden Rule?? Treat others as you wish to be treated.


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## HollyLynn48612 (Aug 5, 2011)

I absolutely LOVE pedicures and try to go at least twice a month. The nail salon I go to is owned and operated by an asian family who are so nice. They always ask about things that have been going on in my life and share things that they have going on. I have been going there faithfully for about 10 years and have never felt uncomfortable there. They do speak to each other in their native language but I have never gotten the feeling it was about me. Whenever I leave I feel completely pampered and gorgeous.


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## Tania (Aug 7, 2011)

The girl who does my feet and hands is a friend and former student, so every manicure and pedicure is a great time and very high quality. She works in a family salon owned by a friend of hers, so the atmosphere is always professional and pleasant and nobody gets pissy about client size. In fact, my friend herself is a big gal, so she more than understands.


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## LillyBBBW (Aug 7, 2011)

I haven't been to a nail place in ages. The one I used to go to was a Vietnamese place and yes, the folks in there were catty and talked trash in Vietnamese to each other. The small twist though was that there was this one girl in there that nobody liked. She was shy, going to school and working there to make money and the other nail techs would give her a hard time. She was so sweet I asked for her every time and would tip her generously. Once they learned I was overtipping one of the girls tried to steal me from her as a client, said she wasn't available and that she would take me. I said no, I'll come back later and left. They tried other shenanigans and I got impatient and raised cane with the owner. There's so much drama that happens in these salons. The owner laid down the law hard in loud rapid Vietnamese and I noticed a change immediatley. All the gum smacking and hee hawing came to a complete halt. Nobody made a peep while I was in there. Good times.


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## CastingPearls (Aug 8, 2011)

LillyBBBW said:


> I haven't been to a nail place in ages. The one I used to go to was a Vietnamese place and yes, the folks in there were catty and talked trash in Vietnamese to each other. The small twist though was that there was this one girl in there that nobody liked. She was shy, going to school and working there to make money and the other nail techs would give her a hard time. She was so sweet I asked for her every time and would tip her generously. Once they learned I was overtipping one of the girls tried to steal me from her as a client, said she wasn't available and that she would take me. I said no, I'll come back later and left. They tried other shenanigans and I got impatient and raised cane with the owner. There's so much drama that happens in these salons. The owner laid down the law hard in loud rapid Vietnamese and I noticed a change immediatley. All the gum smacking and hee hawing came to a complete halt. Nobody made a peep while I was in there. Good times.


This reminds me of the all-American salon I went to that I hated. The only girl who I liked that worked there was an Egyptian woman named Mona. I would make appointments only with her, last of the day (because I worked an hour from home) and they would tell her to go home early because I tipped her well and they hated her. They always talked shit about her when she wasn't around and I'd walked out more than once when they told me someone else would do my nails. I don't know what happened to her but when I found out she didn't work there anymore (I hope she quit) that was the last straw. The service and attitude of everyone else there sucked, whereas Mona was always a professional. Plus she gave me my first ever professional pedicure and the best I've ever had to date.


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## Donna (Sep 4, 2011)

Goodness, I don't know what I would do if I didn't have Miss Nan to do my nails. She takes such good care of me, as do the other women who work at the shop I go to...and they never, ever say anything bad about me or other customers. Even the rude customers (though I have been known to say a few choice things if someone is treating the techs badly.) I've been to other shops where I could tell they were saying things about me (because of their demeanor, not the words they used,) but I always shrugged it off. They have a hard job (it can't be much fun to work on people's feet and hands all day, bent over in those small chairs they sit in. Never mind the chemicals they inhale) so I guess I am more inclined to let perceived rudeness slide.


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## genevathistime (Sep 7, 2011)

Oh lord...

I've been bitching for years about the people who do my pedi's! They whisper, giggle and speak foreign tongues...I've even heard them talk about how big my legs are...lol

So now when they go to do crap like that I just make jokes about how I will knock down all their nail polishes and such, much like Godzilla...

I'm childish. I know. :happy:


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## starr416 (Sep 10, 2011)

The 2 salons I go to are Korean and Chinese nail places. What the korean place doesn't know is that I speak korean fairly well, enough to understand and hold a conversation. And they talk about EVERYBODY! Fat, skinny, black, white, doesn't matter. Well one day I just got tired of it and told her, in korean, that she should be careful about what she says because you never know who is listening. I think she almost fainted, but needless to say when I go there now it's always super quiet!


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