# Preferences.....



## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 29, 2009)

I like men with big penises. Some men claim that women prefer good jobs over the physical attributes. Nothing wrong with a guy having a good job and being able to take care of himself, is there? 
Which is more important to you.....that he is well endowed or is well employed? 


And.....would you settle for a small penis if the rest of him was beautiful? or what if he could treat you well and take you out to nice places....would that work instead if he wasn't physically beautiful/endowed?

Yes I know a lot will say "if he treats me right" or has a good personality- those things ARE important but......I want to know more base things right now. Do you have any preferences aside from the intangible?


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## Teleute (Nov 29, 2009)

It seems like a silly post, but then again, it might actually get some good conversation, so I'll respond as it's presented...

Huh. Well, I'm actually not wild about big penises - I don't mind them, but it's not particularly appealing. Besides, (TMI warning - don't highlight if you don't wanna know, and you really probably don't) I kind of like to do the pitching instead of the catching sometimes, so the size of HIS equipment isn't as important. :blush: I'll take the question more as "if you found him attractive" than "if he had a large penis", though. And the answer is... well, I guess I'm a little shallow, but if I found someone completely physically unappealing, it would be really, really tough for me to have a relationship with them. On the other hand, I have a pretty wide range of things I find attractive, so I don't know how often that situation would really come up. The job thing doesn't play into it, however, except in that I would have a hard time being around someone who was jobless due to active depression - I find that it's easy to slip back into depression myself when I'm in that kind of environment - and many of the guys I encounter who say that line about "women just care about a guy who makes a lot of money" are bitter and depressed (and in fact demonstrating their bitterness with that statement), and are therefore instantly unappealing. It's the mental state, not the financial one, that bothers me. I dunno, I feel like I'm going way off the point of what you were asking... sorry GEF >_<


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## OneWickedAngel (Nov 29, 2009)

In the short run, yes the good job is nice, but I my love has to be for the employee, not the employment. Jobs come and especially go, as we are all learning in this economy. Looks change with age, or be can changed. Someone with gorgeous looks today can be in a disfiguring accident tomorrow. And yes, size for me is a very nice thing to have, I won't lie; but it is hardly my be all and end all. 

My S/O can have the looks, the job, the hang (and hang time ) and still be a mess. After all no one keeps their looks forever, works forever, and let's face no one hangs well forever. Those things generally are least likely of what's going to what keeps my mind/my heart for my partner in the long run. 

I'd much prefer that my partner be well endowed -- _emotionally/mentally_. All else can be worked with.


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## cyrades86 (Nov 29, 2009)

Ive never really cared if a guy had a big penis... because you can get just as much pleasure out of 6 inches as you would out of 12... prolly more because i don't know about any of you other ladies but i dunno where i would fit a 12 inch cock... my vagina doesnt come with a trap door... and as for a good job... so long as i dont have to support him or his habits then i dont really think a good job is essential either... i think it should be more about how they make you feel then physical atributes and money/job status...


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## Teleute (Nov 29, 2009)

cyrades86 said:


> my vagina doesnt come with a trap door...



ROFL! Oh man, I am so stealing this line


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## Fascinita (Nov 29, 2009)

Give me a fat wallet any day. Ding dongs don't put Ding Dongs on my table.


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## mossystate (Nov 29, 2009)

I don't have a ' type ' ( line up 100 men and tell me to choose 10, and you will see variety )...but...he has to be physically appealing to _me._ 

None of that, " oh, but he has a great personality...you just won't want to be looking at his face and body ". If he does not make my stuff tingle, he is not someone I want to be with. I am a very visual person...as are most women. Now, too many automatically think ' looks ' will be defined the same way by everybody...no. Of course he has to have the other attributes I require...blahblahblah. 


I know this is a bit of a silly question, but, I think it is also having a bit of a go at other stuff said...and that is good.  Hope there will be little PC action in this thread. 

Penis size, as long as it is enough for me...physically and visually...is not something I obsess over. Now, if he is very, very, small...he would have to be the most wonderful man in the world....or be the brother of the most wonderful man in the world, and take after him. :happy:


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Nov 29, 2009)

I don't mind penis size....as long as it does the job, I'm good. Wallet size doesn't matter too much. As long as there is shelter and food, I'm good to go. 

So yes, I would settle for a small penis if everything else was beautiful, lol. I know how to get my own groove on that it wouldn't matter too much I spose. Besides, I could always deny his manhood and request he wore a strap on.


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## jdsumm (Nov 29, 2009)

cyrades86 said:


> Ive never really cared if a guy had a big penis... because you can get just as much pleasure out of 6 inches as you would out of 12... prolly more because i don't know about any of you other ladies but i dunno where i would fit a 12 inch cock... my vagina doesnt come with a trap door... and as for a good job... so long as i dont have to support him or his habits then i dont really think a good job is essential either... i think it should be more about how they make you feel then physical atributes and money/job status...



YEP, what she said.


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## TraciJo67 (Nov 29, 2009)

GEF, shouldn't this be a poll question? What do you prefer: Penis Size or Wallet Size (something like that?)

As for me, I'll take wallet any day of the week and twice on Sunday. I can get a gigantic vibe, if a huge peener is what I'm craving.


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## bigsexy920 (Nov 29, 2009)

As long as everything WORKS im good. (meaning him and his penis)


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## Dmitra (Nov 29, 2009)

Given the question lovely GEF asked, I'd have to go for the non-large penis option. Not that the man would have to be beautiful or rich (or employed) to make up for any lack, for sure! Just weighing the importance of something he couldn't have chosen or changed versus who he's become along the life way. I have my preferences like everyone else, of course, but I'd hate to miss a great guy because he didn't have X, Y or Z going on for him.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Nov 29, 2009)

I likes me a big penis.


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## Fascinita (Nov 29, 2009)

DameQ said:


> I'd hate to miss a great guy because he didn't have X, Y or Z going on for him.



Well, if he's great, he has _something_ going for him. If it's not X, it's Z. Wink wink. 

At the very least he's got a Y chromosome, right?


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## Dmitra (Nov 29, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> Well, if he's great, he has _something_ going for him. If it's not X, it's Z. Wink wink.
> 
> At the very least he's got Y chromosomes, right?



LOL

O, yes, that wonderful Y chromosome. *sighs to herself*

Despite it all I still love men! (somewhat reasonable, peaceful, non-sociopathic ones, that is)


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## Fascinita (Nov 29, 2009)

DameQ said:


> Despite it all I still love men! (somewhat reasonable, peaceful, non-sociopathic ones, that is)



I love me a good man, too.


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## Tania (Nov 29, 2009)

I married someone with a big, fabulously-shaped dick; the dick hurt me and everything else in the relationship was lacking. 

I'm absolutely fine with average or on the small side. So long as the whole package (the person, not the crotch version) is compelling, gainful employment wins!


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## littlefairywren (Nov 29, 2009)

Hmmm, I like a big penis. I think they look prettier too.
But it would be no good to me if he has no idea how to use the thing. It is all very well to wave it around and show it off, but he should know how to drive it 

As for his wallet size, sounds cliched but....money does not always make you happy. 
Rather a combo actually.....nice penis, fantastic guy and security.


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## steely (Nov 29, 2009)

I prefer a man with big hands. I chose my husband though, his hands were smaller than mine and much more delicate. It's hard to find a man with hands bigger than mine. He did work until he was injured but I didn't choose him for that reason. I chose him because he appealed to my brain. It really was because of the way he made me feel. So many of my preferances are all about a mans brain and how he uses it with me.

Wallet or penis, neither nor, give me a great big brain.


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## mossystate (Nov 29, 2009)

Was just thinking of something. If the wallet is big...it could be a bunch of maxed out credit cards. Would need to see all credit card and bank statements. Beware, ladies....beware.

Now, could I be with a man who had lots of cash, but dressed in Star Trek teeshirts ( or other equally geeky stuff )? Wow, now that's something I hope I never have to face. My name is not Sophie. I would just hope that the man knew that as an fa, it is important he not perpetuate stereotypes of his kind. Best foot forward, gentlemen! 

:bow:


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## Tracii (Nov 29, 2009)

The personality has to click with me first but a really huge one I can do without.Average size is fine with me lenght wise(I'm not that deep.LOL)
But if its thick OH Yeah I'm all for a thick one.Mmmmmmm.


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## AuntHen (Nov 29, 2009)

both !!

(big but not too big. As a BIG woman, I am sure I am not the only one who thinks a little more length helps since our rolls are out and about & he doesnt have to be rich.. but responsible and HAVE a job to pay his bills)


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## littlefairywren (Nov 29, 2009)

Tracii said:


> The personality has to click with me first but a really huge one I can do without.Average size is fine with me lenght wise(I'm not that deep.LOL)
> *But if its thick OH Yeah I'm all for a thick one.Mmmmmmm*.



Thick is good......in the penis department!


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## thatgirl08 (Nov 29, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I like men with big penises. Some men claim that women prefer good jobs over the physical attributes. Nothing wrong with a guy having a good job and being able to take care of himself, is there?
> Which is more important to you.....that he is well endowed or is well employed?
> 
> 
> ...



It's way more important that he be employed (or for the time being, in college) than have a big dick. I mean, big dicks are okay.. although too big and I'm like :/ because like that other girl said.. no trap door in my vag. But, yeah, being successful > big dick.

I'd settle for a small penis in a lot of situations but I couldn't settle for unattractive in any. The person has to be at least somewhat physically appealing to me or I just literally could not have sex with them.. I couldn't be turned on enough and imo, a relationship void of sex is not a good one. I could not date someone who had lots of bank but was ugly. I really couldn't.


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## Tania (Nov 29, 2009)

Also, just for the sake of full disclosure:

The guy I had the hugest thing for EVER not only had a small dick, he was born without hands and has some pretty major facial deformities. I still loved him. He also had money and a hot car, but that wasn't why I was into him. He was well-educated, charming, funny, and very intelligent. In short, he was fun. That's incredibly important. 

Oh, and Doodlebob, who will always be incredibly, pathetically dear to me, has a small penis, too. And no money to speak of. I will probably miss that little shit until the day I die. 

So yeah...penis size, meh. Even "beauty" isn't a hard-and-fast requirement for good chemistry.


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## littlefairywren (Nov 29, 2009)

Tania said:


> Also, just for the sake of full disclosure:
> 
> The guy I had the hugest thing for EVER not only had a small dick, he was born without hands and has some pretty major facial deformities. I still loved him. He also had money and a hot car, but that wasn't why I was into him. He was well-educated, charming, funny, and very intelligent. In short, he was fun. That's incredibly important.
> 
> ...



Wow Tania, I have to agree with this.

I have a thing for this guy, who happens to have very little money and is not what I would normally be attracted to initially. But he makes me laugh, and we kind of click together somehow. 

He is rather blessed in other areas  
But I think when it all boils down, I am into him because we mesh well and not because he has a huge "lunch box".


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## Tania (Nov 29, 2009)

Totally! I completely understand. Theory is fine as a starting point, but chemistry in practice is a funny thing. Each person is a whole, magical package that cannot be analyzed on a piecemeal basis. We cannot be defined as the sum of our parts!


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## Smushygirl (Nov 30, 2009)

Tania said:


> Totally! I completely understand. Theory is fine as a starting point, but chemistry in practice is a funny thing. Each person is a whole, magical package that cannot be analyzed on a piecemeal basis. We cannot be defined as the sum of our parts!



Not to be disrespectful, but if that is what you truly believe, why do you worry so much about your chin, your waist to hip ratio, and your arms?! 

Believe me, I know that women have body issues, but I just can't stand when they judge themselves and each other, all the while giving men a pass. Take them to task, they need it more than us.


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## DitzyBrunette (Nov 30, 2009)

I don't like a man who is too big. I learned about Kegel's when I used to steal my Mom's Cosmo mags in my early teens so I'm really tight and big penises freak me out. The biggest I ever encountered was 11 inches and even though the guy was an incredible guy the sex was leaving me damn near crippled lol. So that had to end and I prefer average over big any day. That's not to say I'd like a man who was too small because I've seen the dark side (_teeny tiny penis_) and it is not pretty. There is no way I would date a man who was _too_ small. No amount of money or fancy dinners or gifts would make me want to forgo great sex for however long we're together. And contrary to what a lot of men believe, oral will never make up for what a man is lacking in the pants.

*
Which is more important to you.....that he is well endowed or is well employed?* 
The two are not mutually exclusive so I can't answer that. If he is unemployed yet looking for a job and not depressed and miserable, he's still got a chance with me. I just want a guy who can take care of himself, a big fat bank account isn't necessary. If he's got a great job AND a great penis, then that's wonderful but not really reasons I'd use to decide whether or not I'm interested in him.


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## Tania (Nov 30, 2009)

Smushygirl said:


> Not to be disrespectful, but if that is what you truly believe, why do you worry so much about your chin, your waist to hip ratio, and your arms?!
> 
> Believe me, I know that women have body issues, but I just can't stand when they judge themselves and each other, all the while giving men a pass. Take them to task, they need it more than us.



I don't see how not being shallow equals "giving someone a pass." Just because someone isn't conventionally attractive, does it necessarily follow that liking them is somehow the result of a conscious-loss negotiation process? Isn't it okay to be attracted to more than just conventional beauty? Or even to non-physical attributes? 

My self-image, like most people's, is a constant work in progress. I often judge myself harshly - much more harshly than I judge others - because I have body dysmorphic disorder. Some days, and under certain hormonal conditions, it's worse than others. I'm also bulemic, which adds to the complication and to the fun of it all. 

I have freely admitted this perplexing double standard on the boards multiple times before. It may not make any sense to you...but then again, I don't really expect it to. And honestly, I don't care if it does. 

At any rate, this really isn't about me, how I feel about myself, or how other women rate themselves; it's about what we prefer in our menfolk.


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## mergirl (Nov 30, 2009)

I will not date a man who has a cock less than 78 inches ..thick. Basically what i am saying is that i have an elephantitis fetish.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 30, 2009)

Reading some of the responses in this thread, I'm thinking my definition of "big" and others definitions of it are two entirely different things.

By "big" I mean "bigger than average. If average is 5-6 inches.....then "big" is easily 7-8 inches.....never had a 11-12 inch peen myself, I don't think. (never would whip out my measuring stick on a man....just don't have it in me :doh

That being said, isn't it interesting how there sometimes seems to be assumptions, within our society, that there is something "wrong" with a woman's vagina if she desires bigger? I mean, what does a man need with size 55M boobs? But that's considered "normal" if a man desires it?


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## mergirl (Nov 30, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Reading some of the responses in this thread, I'm thinking my definition of "big" and others definitions of it are two entirely different things.
> 
> By "big" I mean "bigger than average. If average is 5-6 inches.....then "big" is easily 7-8 inches.....never had a 11-12 inch peen myself, I don't think. (never would whip out my measuring stick on a man....just don't have it in me :doh
> 
> That being said, isn't it interesting how there sometimes seems to be assumptions, within our society, that there is something "wrong" with a woman's vagina if she desires bigger? I mean, what does a man need with size 55M boobs? But that's considered "normal" if a man desires it?


Good point. Cause pretty much if a cock is the same size or less as a babies head a woman should be able to handle it! Though, if everytime you had sex it was like going through labour... i'm not so sure it would happen that often.
ETA-There is always something to do with boobs of any size!!


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## TraciJo67 (Nov 30, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> That being said, isn't it interesting how there sometimes seems to be assumptions, within our society, that there is something "wrong" with a woman's vagina if she desires bigger? I mean, what does a man need with size 55M boobs? But that's considered "normal" if a man desires it?



Preach it, ladyfriend.

If we can nudge out a 6-8 pound critter, we can surely cope with a larger than average peen. 

That said, a REALLY REALLY larger than average penis would probably make me wish for the birthin' option. I'm thinking about the "Sex & The City" episode in which Samantha is all excited about her very, very well-endowed lover ... until she attempts to have sex with him, that is. Close-up shot of the two of them getting it on ... she's wincing and squirming a bit, but then says "Wow, that wasn't so bad!" ... just as he asks her if she's ready for the "rest of him". She tells him that she thinks they'd make better friends after all


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## mergirl (Nov 30, 2009)

Oh!! weird minds think alike!!!


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## Smushygirl (Nov 30, 2009)

Tania said:


> I don't see how not being shallow equals "giving someone a pass." Just because someone isn't conventionally attractive, does it necessarily follow that liking them is somehow the result of a conscious-loss negotiation process? Isn't it okay to be attracted to more than just conventional beauty? Or even to non-physical attributes?
> 
> My self-image, like most people's, is a constant work in progress. I often judge myself harshly - much more harshly than I judge others - because I have body dysmorphic disorder. Some days, and under certain hormonal conditions, it's worse than others. I'm also bulemic, which adds to the complication and to the fun of it all.
> 
> ...



Tania, as I said before, it was not meant disrespectfully. Just as an example. I know that your situation is complex, but I also know that one day, with lots of therapy or just by simple decision, you will figure out the you are fine just as you are. I have lots of things to say about this topic, but I was hoping that some of the women who are so quick not to be labeled "shallow" by men, would get a clue that judging themselves and other women isn't necessary.

So many threads on Dims about faces vs. bodies, what fruit shape is best, why aren't we "confident" and posting pictures. It gets to be a little annoying after awhile. 

As an engineer, I have worked side by side with men all my life and I have been privy to many secrets they hide from women in order to have relationships. I *know* without a doubt that a man will stick his penis in just about anything if the timing is right and he knows he is going to get off. Generally, I don't have a problem with this, unless it is a baby. 

There was a woman that was born despite the fact that her mother tried to abort her with a coat hanger. She was born with flippers where her arms and legs should have been. She earned her living by laying on a gurney in front of a department store downtown and playing a Casio keyboard with her tongue. She had three children, by different men, some were husbands. Celestine was a nice person. Did everything with her mouth including diapering her children, which she demonstrated on Howard Stern's show. Perhaps, that was her siren call. 

It is easy to get attention from a guy, what is difficult is getting the kind of respect we deserve as women and fellow human beings. Especially when society is set up to use women's looks and vaginas as a commodity. 

Men being judged by their wallets and penis size is shallow? Maybe, maybe not, considering all the paces we seem to get put through. Fat, not fat enough, pear shaped, not pear shaped enough, double chin or no double chin? Perhaps this thread is a reminder about that, hmmm?


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## StarWitness (Nov 30, 2009)

mossystate said:


> I don't have a ' type ' ( line up 100 men and tell me to choose 10, and you will see variety )...but...he has to be physically appealing to _me._



...made me think of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6eTTaY1a6M

And I do agree with you otherwise, Mossy. There are certain physical traits that I tend towards-- tall, broad-shouldered, and fat is a winning combination for me-- but for the most part, there's a good amount of variety in the physical attributes of the guys that I lust after. The important intangibles (intelligence and confidence come to mind) tend to influence how someone acts, speaks, and carries himself, so it does become sort of a gestalt attraction.


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## mergirl (Nov 30, 2009)

Smushygirl said:


> Tania, as I said before, it was not meant disrespectfully. Just as an example. I know that your situation is complex, but I also know that one day, with lots of therapy or just by simple decision, you will figure out the you are fine just as you are. I have lots of things to say about this topic, but I was hoping that some of the women who are so quick not to be labeled "shallow" by men, would get a clue that judging themselves and other women isn't necessary.
> 
> So many threads on Dims about faces vs. bodies, what fruit shape is best, why aren't we "confident" and posting pictures. It gets to be a little annoying after awhile.
> 
> ...




Wow, for a 'filthy fat slut' you know how to make a spine tingling post!! :wubu: :wubu:
I got really sad about the flipper woman though. 
:bow:-oh and one of them too!!


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## Smushygirl (Nov 30, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Wow, for a 'filthy fat slut' you know how to make a spine tingling post!! :wubu: :wubu:
> I got really sad about the flipper woman though.
> :bow:-oh and one of them too!!



I'm coming to Scotland to marry you and Rose! :wubu:


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## Isa (Nov 30, 2009)

Smushygirl said:


> Tania, as I said before, it was not meant disrespectfully. Just as an example. I know that your situation is complex, but I also know that one day, with lots of therapy or just by simple decision, you will figure out the you are fine just as you are. I have lots of things to say about this topic, but I was hoping that some of the women who are so quick not to be labeled "shallow" by men, would get a clue that judging themselves and other women isn't necessary.
> 
> So many threads on Dims about faces vs. bodies, what fruit shape is best, why aren't we "confident" and posting pictures. It gets to be a little annoying after awhile.
> 
> ...



Damn Smush, hit the nail on the head again. Of course I cannot rep you so this will have to do: :bow:


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## mergirl (Nov 30, 2009)

Smushygirl said:


> I'm coming to Scotland to marry you and Rose! :wubu:


Yes you must! We can have a three way civil partnership!  x (Not sure if THATS legal here yet.. if not i will fight the bastard spoil sports all the way!! lmao)


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## Teleute (Nov 30, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> That being said, isn't it interesting how there sometimes seems to be assumptions, within our society, that there is something "wrong" with a woman's vagina if she desires bigger? I mean, what does a man need with size 55M boobs? But that's considered "normal" if a man desires it?



I think that's just as silly as the penis size comparisons between guys, or bragging that they can go "all night"... it makes an assumption that this is what EVERY woman wants, which is ridiculous (I know I'd start to have some serious chafing issues, for one thing). Maybe it's one of those bizarre, obnoxious media attempts at girl bonding; a lot of shows and commercials and such that are aimed at women seem to like to demonstrate how much men just don't understand, thereby reinforcing their sense of sisterhood (total eyeroll, by the way). I could totally see a scenario wherein some women sit down after a heavy day of shopping to savor their tubs of strawberry yogurt:

Giggly blonde: Ugh, and you would not BELIEVE this guy who was hitting on me the other day... I mean, who just comes out and says "twelve inches" the first time he meets you? Like, god!

Sassy, curly-haired redhead: Tasteless much? Like, who even wants twelve inches anyway? OWWW! Am I right, ladies?

Black girl with short curly hair and high cheekbones: You know it, girl!

Together: MEN! *synchronized eyeroll*

*all laugh knowingly and take another spoonful of their luscious, low-fat yogurt as the camera pans out*

Both of those things - the "lolz men don't understand women" and the "real men have giant penises and last for hours" - are just media bullshit though. I mean, I find toys/penises that are significantly larger than "average" to be unpleasant in MY vagina... but why should that have any bearing on what's pleasant/normal for you or anyone else? 



Smushygirl said:


> As an engineer, I have worked side by side with men all my life and I have been privy to many secrets they hide from women in order to have relationships. I *know* without a doubt that a man will stick his penis in just about anything if the timing is right and he knows he is going to get off. Generally, I don't have a problem with this, unless it is a baby.



Some men, Smushy. SOME men will do that. I have also worked with many men and had many close, non-sexual male friends, and it is NOT all of them. I find putting all males down or treating them like they're a different species with no morals or self-restraint to be every bit as offensive as men thinking of all women as being fickle, manipulative, and hormone-controlled (seriously, I would be happy never hearing another PMS joke ever again... but I could also stand to never hear "well, what did you expect from a MAN?" again either). 



Smushygirl said:


> It is easy to get attention from a guy, what is difficult is getting the kind of respect we deserve as women and fellow human beings. Especially when society is set up to use women's looks and vaginas as a commodity.
> 
> Men being judged by their wallets and penis size is shallow? Maybe, maybe not, considering all the paces we seem to get put through. Fat, not fat enough, pear shaped, not pear shaped enough, double chin or no double chin? Perhaps this thread is a reminder about that, hmmm?



I agree completely about the double standard. In reference to my earlier post, I wouldn't say that a guy who felt the same way - not being able to have a relationship with someone he found completely physically unappealing - was NOT shallow. I just think we'd have an equal level of shallow-ness. I hardly think it's a bad thing for women to express their physical preferences!


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## Tania (Nov 30, 2009)

Smushygirl said:


> I was hoping that some of the women who are so quick not to be labeled "shallow" by men, would get a clue that judging themselves and other women isn't necessary.



Do any of these women happen to be posting in this thread? :/ 

I truly believe that you're trying to be nice, and I generally agree with the rest of your message. However, I'm a bit upset that you chose me as your springboard example for complaints about "passes," rushing to avoid "shallow" labels order to impress men, and "judging other women." In calling me out, you seemed to conflate my BDD episodes with weakness, insincerity, attacking other women, settling, and the enablement of bad male behavior. Wow. 

Even if you didn't intend it, there is an implication in this that when a person struggles with oneself, or perceives oneself differently than one perceives others, it is somehow a default yet decided "negative judgement" of those others in which the problemmatic elements of self are apparently manifest. There is also the implication that in struggling with what seems to be conventional imperfection in oneself that one cannot genuinely appreciate "imperfections" or unconventionality in anyone else. If that's true, then it can be said that all fat admirers who are unenthusiastic about being/becoming fat themselves are essentially giving the fat folk a "pass." 





Smushygirl said:


> Men being judged by their wallets and penis size is shallow? Maybe, maybe not, considering all the paces we seem to get put through. Fat, not fat enough, pear shaped, not pear shaped enough, double chin or no double chin? Perhaps this thread is a reminder about that, hmmm?



Is this a general, rhetorical statement addressed to the OP, or is it directed at me for using the term "shallow" loosely/wishing Blob away in another, unrelated thread? I don't think anybody is discounting or dismissing the notion that attraction and stability are or should be important. I'm certainly not; but I'm definitely saying that one can genuinely and without romantic/chemical sacrifice appreciate unconventionality and subversive traits in others that they may not always appreciate in themselves.


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## Smushygirl (Nov 30, 2009)

Teleute said:


> Some men, Smushy. SOME men will do that. I have also worked with many men and had many close, non-sexual male friends, and it is NOT all of them. I find putting all males down or treating them like they're a different species with no morals or self-restraint to be every bit as offensive as men thinking of all women as being fickle, manipulative, and hormone-controlled (seriously, I would be happy never hearing another PMS joke ever again... but I could also stand to never hear "well, what did you expect from a MAN?" again either).



I totally agree with you here, as I *know* what I said earlier is true, I *know* that there are great men out there. I don't think that I was excluding them in my other statement. I know and am related to some really great men. 




Teleute said:


> I agree completely about the double standard. In reference to my earlier post, I wouldn't say that a guy who felt the same way - not being able to have a relationship with someone he found completely physically unappealing - was NOT shallow. I just think we'd have an equal level of shallow-ness. *I hardly think it's a bad thing for women to express their physical preferences!*



I would never, ever want to stop that from happening!



Tania said:


> Do any of these women happen to be posting in this thread? :/
> 
> I truly believe that you're trying to be nice, and I generally agree with the rest of your message. However, I'm a bit upset that you chose me as your springboard example for complaints about "passes," rushing to avoid "shallow" labels order to impress men, and "judging other women." In calling me out, you seemed to conflate my BDD episodes with weakness, insincerity, attacking other women, settling, and the enablement of bad male behavior. Wow.
> 
> ...



I like you, Tania. I know we have never posted together, but I do like you. I did use your post as a springboard, as it was the last in a series of posts that was changing what I thought was the OP's original intent. That was it. So I apologize to you if you thought that I was casting any aspersions. I truly wasn't.


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## Tania (Nov 30, 2009)

Smushygirl said:


> I like you, Tania. I know we have never posted together, but I do like you. I did use your post as a springboard, as it was the last in a series of posts that was changing what I thought was the OP's original intent. That was it. So I apologize to you if you thought that I was casting any aspersions. I truly wasn't.



Okay, thank you for clarifying. I really, really, really appreciate that. :* I didn't mean to be so touchy, but I am so used to people giving EDers grief that I question everything sometimes, even from people whom I'm pretty sure do not mean harm.


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## Teleute (Nov 30, 2009)

Smushygirl said:


> I totally agree with you here, as I *know* what I said earlier is true, I *know* that there are great men out there. I don't think that I was excluding them in my other statement. I know and am related to some really great men.
> ...
> I would never, ever want to stop that from happening!



<3<3 Smushy... I gotcha now  I think we're thinking the same things, but getting all tangled up in the words. Nasty tendency of mine :doh:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 30, 2009)

Just have to say that I am quite pleased by some of the dialogue taking place in this "shallow" thread of mine


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## Smushygirl (Nov 30, 2009)

Oh and I forgot to state my preferences. I like bigger penises with emphasis on girth, but he has to be able to use it and his tongue. Got to be able to vary those thrusts with some figure eights and such. Oh and he needs to be working too.


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## katherine22 (Nov 30, 2009)

I do not like handsome men; I distrust them since I think they get a pass in life for attributes to which they had no control. Some men who are handsome play the handsome card to the detriment of developing other qualities such as compassion, integrity and character. The best lover I ever had was an ugly short guy with a small penis and a brilliant imagination. When I was in his company, I was enchanted and treated like a queen. I willl never forget him.


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## BubbleButtBabe (Nov 30, 2009)

I kind of agree with you Katherine..I do not date the handsome man,got burned twice and wont do it again,both were cheaters..Give me an average looking man that has a good job and I am as content as I can be..Of course if he is a bit more well endowed then average in girth I am a happy camper! The best I had put a coke can to shame and that is all I am going to say about that..

I introduced 1 of my brothers to a couple of guys I was seeing and got read the riot act over it..He thought I was dating down and not to my potential,what ever that meant..I like quirky men and always have..<shrugs>


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## littlefairywren (Dec 1, 2009)

BubbleButtBabe said:


> I kind of agree with you Katherine..I do not date the handsome man,got burned twice and wont do it again,both were cheaters..Give me an average looking man that has a good job and I am as content as I can be..Of course if he is a bit more well endowed then average in girth I am a happy camper! *The best I had put a coke can to shame and that is all I am going to say about that..
> *
> I introduced 1 of my brothers to a couple of guys I was seeing and got read the riot act over it..He thought I was dating down and not to my potential,what ever that meant..I like quirky men and always have..<shrugs>



Ha ha ha, I will never look at a can of coke the same way after reading this Bubble  Taa for a good chuckle!


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## BubbleButtBabe (Dec 1, 2009)

You are welcome...Let's just say I smiled for a while myself! <chuckles>


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## Tania (Dec 1, 2009)

*takes a swig*


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## KuroBara (Dec 1, 2009)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I likes me a big penis.


 

Go Wayne!!


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## mergirl (Dec 1, 2009)

KuroBara said:


> Go Wayne!!


haha.. i was totally thinking that when i read sandie's post.. then i put my fingers in my ears and went "lalalalalalalalala" but yeah.. good going wayne!!  Going to call you 'Wayne the wangger from now on"!!!


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## Tau (Dec 1, 2009)

Ugly, short guys with little dicks can be complete losers too. Just saying 

In my opinion, no dick is an island. It's connected to a man, a person, and who and what he is comes before the size of his appendage.


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## mergirl (Dec 1, 2009)

Tau said:


> Ugly, short guys with little dicks can be complete losers too. Just saying
> 
> In my opinion, no dick is an island. It's connected to a man, a person, and who and what he is comes before the size of his appendage.


Well there is an island in Scotland called "cock". It may not be spelled that way.. but you say it like that!!


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## Fascinita (Dec 1, 2009)

"I like you as a person..." Isn't that kinda the standard line for blowing someone off?


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## TraciJo67 (Dec 1, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> "I like you as a person..." Isn't that kinda the standard line for blowing someone off?



I find that "I'm married" or "Get the fuck away from me you smelly fucking fuck of a fucktard" works just as well.


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## mergirl (Dec 1, 2009)

TraciJo67 said:


> I find that "I'm married" or "Get the fuck away from me you smelly fucking fuck of a fucktard" works just as well.


hmmm.. might try this. "I'm a lesbian" NEVER works btw.. it just makes them more determined. Could also try i have genital herpies. hmmmm


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 1, 2009)

mergirl said:


> hmmm.. might try this. "I'm a lesbian" NEVER works btw.. it just makes them more determined. Could also try i have genital herpies. hmmmm



Tell them your vagina has teeth- I tell all men this because it's my way of testing for the faint of heart lads.......


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## Tracii (Dec 1, 2009)

mergirl said:


> hmmm.. might try this. "I'm a lesbian" NEVER works btw.. it just makes them more determined. Could also try i have genital herpies. hmmmm



LMAO you go!!
Smushy the letter "T" drives me nutz.LOL


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## MizzSnakeBite (Dec 1, 2009)

Smushygirl said:


> Tania, as I said before, it was not meant disrespectfully. Just as an example. I know that your situation is complex, but I also know that one day, with lots of therapy or *just by simple decision*, you will figure out the you are fine just as you are. I have lots of things to say about this topic, but I was hoping that some of the women who are so quick not to be labeled "shallow" by men, would get a clue that judging themselves and other women isn't necessary.



Smushygirl.......

I've bitten my tongue for quite awhile trying not to say anything, but I feel I must now. As the majority of us know Tania has BDD. This isn't something she can make a "simple decision" to get over. As you said, her situation is complex. Do you know that by using her issues as a springboard you could be making her situation worse? She judges herself enough, she doesn't need others to judge her too. We're here to support each other.

Her situation is completely different than other women. And I'll confess, I too have BDD, but probably to a lesser degree than Tania, so I know what she means. I might criticize every tiny flaw in my body, but see a man that's not considered attractive by the usual standards, but still find him attractive and not cut his flaws to pieces. I'm not giving him an "out," I simply see the best in him. Should I do that when seeing myself, yes, but as you said, it's complicated. We're not trying to be less shallow or "better than," it's that in my case, I hate my body but don't see the flaws (or simply don't care about them) in others. Am I trying to work on how I view myself, yes, but it's a very long, hard process, and it angers me when I see someone essentially say, "just get over it." 
Mizz

To answer the OP question.......at this point I'll take any size peen , but seriously, I'm pretty tight, and a larger sized one would be too uncomfortable unless we really took our time to well..stretch me out lol. 

Peen size vs. wallet size. I guess if those were my *only* options, I'd choose wallet size. In reality, he wouldn't need to be wealthy, just have enough to buy a house (and no, not a mansion lol), pay the bills, put some in savings, and have enough left over for a vacation every so often. That would be ideal. Of course, if he was a jackass with a nice size peen and a good size wallet, he'd be out on his ass.


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## Smushygirl (Dec 1, 2009)

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Smushygirl.......
> 
> I've bitten my tongue for quite awhile trying not to say anything, but I feel I must now. As the majority of us know Tania has BDD. This isn't something she can make a "simple decision" to get over. As you said, her situation is complex. Do you know that by using her issues as a springboard you could be making her situation worse? She judges herself enough, she doesn't need others to judge her too. We're here to support each other.
> 
> ...



Look, call the waaaambulance! If I get another of these chastisings, I swear...

Where were *you* when people were slinging the n-word in another thread? Probably thought "this issue doesn't affect me", "I won't bother", or maybe, "she's too sensitive". How about, "those Blacks are so demanding"?

I never told anyone to just simply get over it, and her issues could be resolved by lots of therapy or simply making a decision to not let those things bother her anymore and pledging to not let any backslides into old thinking set her back! I think that is how we all get over things. It's not a new story.


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## kayrae (Dec 1, 2009)

*ahem* Now you must post on my waaambulance thread.



Smushygirl said:


> Look, call the waaaambulance! If I get another of these chastisings, I swear...




NOW TO ANSWER GEF's QUESTIONS:
*Well endowed or well employed?* As someone as sexually inexperienced as I am, I don't really care about penis size. Maybe that'll change. I have noticed certain penises are more attractive than others (ie; I like guys who shave but that's not a prerequisite to dating me )

*And.....would you settle for a small penis if the rest of him was beautiful? or what if he could treat you well and take you out to nice places....would that work instead if he wasn't physically beautiful/endowed?* He has to be attractive to me in some form of another. I am very attracted to really intelligent men who aren't condescending about their smarts. In terms of physical beauty, I'm almost always instantly attracted to tall, slender, white men with beards. But I've only dated one guy who looked like this, and he was a jerkface. 

*Do you have any preferences aside from the intangible?* I'm rarely attracted to Filipinos and Hawaiians. And a lot of that has to do with me feeling weird about guys who look like my brothers or dad.


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## MizzSnakeBite (Dec 1, 2009)

Smushygirl said:


> Look, call the waaaambulance! If I get another of these chastisings, I swear...
> 
> Where were *you* when people were slinging the n-word in another thread? Probably thought "this issue doesn't affect me", "I won't bother", or maybe, "she's too sensitive". How about, "those Blacks are so demanding"?
> 
> I never told anyone to just simply get over it, and her issues could be resolved by lots of therapy or simply making a decision to not let those things bother her anymore and pledging to not let any backslides into old thinking set her back! I think that is how we all get over things. It's not a new story.



Maybe you're getting these chastisings because you did something wrong. Stop trying to "waa waa" because *you* were the one in the wrong. 

Where was *I* when people were slinging around the n-word in another thread? I was either busy and not reading on Dims OR (oh my how could this be!) didn't see or hear about that thread. I do not have the time or energy to read every single thread out in Dims land. I do not even know when this thread occurred. You need to start thinking before you speak (type). I would have said something IF I was there, so do NOT assume I would have sat back and said nothing. I happen to be in the middle of an extensive move, so I do not have the luxury to read every thread on Dims.

No, not in the exact term did you say for her to simply get over it, but you certainly did insinuate it. You said: "with lots of therapy or just by simple decision." You didn't say, "with therapy and time you will eventually simply get over it." You said, "OR simply get over it." Do you think she wants to feel this way about her body? I bet if she could just "simply get over it" she would do so in an instant.

To be quite blunt, since you obviously don't have BDD, you have no idea what you're talking about regarding it. 

But I guess you think I'm being too sensitive, just as you think others thought you were being too sensitive. Hmmm, something to think about.


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## Smushygirl (Dec 1, 2009)

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Maybe you're getting these chastisings because you did something wrong. Stop trying to "waa waa" because *you* were the one in the wrong.
> 
> Where was *I* when people were slinging around the n-word in another thread? I was either busy and not reading on Dims OR (oh my how could this be!) didn't see or hear about that thread. *I do not have the time or energy to read every single thread out in Dims land.* I do not even know when this thread occurred. You need to start thinking before you speak (type). I would have said something IF I was there, so do NOT assume I would have sat back and said nothing. I happen to be in the middle of an extensive move, so I do not have the luxury to read every thread on Dims.
> 
> ...



Look, I did nothing wrong. I explained to Tania why I used her as an example. I even apologized, even though I didn't have to, because I meant no ill will towards her or people with BDD. Where is the support for the black folks? Why don't you mind your own business?


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## BubbleButtBabe (Dec 1, 2009)

Whooooa Ladies..Can we all step back from the comp and take a bit of time to cool off please..I am hoping this thread does not break down into a insulting match please..I really do not think GEF wanted it to become one...


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## BubbleButtBabe (Dec 1, 2009)

mergirl said:


> hmmm.. might try this. "I'm a lesbian" NEVER works btw.. it just makes them more determined. Could also try i have genital herpies. hmmmm




I never could understand men that think they change lesbians..Ummm I really do not see it working but that just could be me..

I agree with GEF tell them your vagina bites penises and you would not want them injured because it doesn't like them..LOL


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## olwen (Dec 1, 2009)

Just a reminder from your friendly neighborhood Mod to please try to keep this thread on topic. Thanks.

That said, 

I don't care for a huge wang, since that much schlong is just plain painful and not in a good way. What boggles my mind is when a guy doesn't believe that's the reason you wouldn't want an 8inch anything anywhere near you. I actually got into an argument about this a few months ago with a guy who just thought I was messing with him when I was totally serious.  

I would prefer not to have to choose between the two tho. In general I'd love to have a man who can just take care of business, meaning he pays the bills on time, pays me the attention I need both in and out of the bedroom, and treats me and everyone else with respect.


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## jewels_mystery (Dec 1, 2009)

cyrades86 said:


> *my vagina doesnt come with a trap door...* This made me spit my drink out. I have not laughed this hard in a long time. thanks.


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## jewels_mystery (Dec 1, 2009)

fat9276 said:


> both !!
> 
> (big but not too big. As a BIG woman, I am sure I am not the only one who thinks a little more length helps since our rolls are out and about & he doesnt have to be rich.. but responsible and HAVE a job to pay his bills)



Same here. I've had small and it was a nightmare. He was about 5 inches. Pisses me off still. lol. On a serious note, his personality and behavior is more important. If he is small, he just better like to use toys. :wubu:


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## BubbleButtBabe (Dec 1, 2009)

I forgot to put the smallest I ever had...It was the size of a baby's 3 inches and he was 30+ yso..I swore never again...


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## littlefairywren (Dec 1, 2009)

BubbleButtBabe said:


> I forgot to put the smallest I ever had...It was the size of a baby's 3 inches and he was 30+ yso..I swore never again...



Holy cow! Are we talking 3 inches before "playtime" or during? Pass me that can of coke anyday


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## Tina (Dec 1, 2009)

I've closed this thread and I want to be honest with you all as to why.

It's not only because of the fighting, though that sucks. Do y'all remember back when the FA/FFA board was being talked about -- before it was ever in existence? Someone brought up the fear in that thread that there would be locker room type of talk going on there about either the women on these boards specifically or women in general. Observer said he would not allow that, and I remember posting that I would be surprised if something like that was allowed. 

Now, on to the present day. Someone reported a post on the FA/FFA board for being locker room talk. Some of us discussed it and it was decided that it wasn't really quite that, and there was some difference of opinion and discussion as to whether locker room talk was ever discussed before hand, and even what locker room talk is. I posted that I remember that it had been discussed before the formation of the FA/FFA board and posted some definitions of what locker room talk is. So now, the problem is, many of the posts here have veered into what could be termed as locker room talk, only in the 'girl's gym' instead of the 'boy's gym' and I feel it's only right to stem it because what isn't right for one isn't right for the other. I know that some of you feel that there isn't total equity between the boards, but it's up to me to keep my own side of the street clean, and in all good conscience, that is what I'm doing.

There's nothing wrong with discussing sex and sexuality, but please, I ask you in the future to not post anything about men that you wouldn't mind reading about women coming from men (does this make sense? I'm tired). This thread may or may not be re-opened after some discussion and possibly moderation, I hope you understand.


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