# When you were younger....



## roddles (Dec 21, 2008)

I was thinking today how I became FA and I thought it would be interesting to share and see how other people relate to this.

I guess it stems from when I was young, I was a small bit chubby, and I hated it. I felt like every one was staring at me. I was dreadfully embarassed even though I wasn't really fat I just thought I was I guess this made me respect fat people alot and this grew into curiosity. My Dad was somewhat Anti fat and often pointed at fat people and remarked. I don't know weather he was a fat admirer of sorts him self, I will never know. If he was he certainly was not going to show it. I gues this is how it started. I used to stuff pillows under my pyjamas when I was little to feel what it was like to be fat. later it grew into a turn on!

So thats mine anyway I would be interested if others are similar


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## squidgemonster (Dec 21, 2008)

I must have been one from my early teens as I fancied the fattest girl in my year at school,and got ridiculed for it,my peers just couldnt fathom why a 300lb 14 year old could be fanciable,but she was SOOOOOpretty,and her hips wiggled and jiggled as she waddled along,just wanted to date her so bad,but it never happened,as she wouldnt believe that she was attractive either.Sad story really,but it must have repeated itself in many places with lots of budding BBWs and FAs.


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## RyanFA (Dec 21, 2008)

hmm, I beleive it all started when I became friends with a /"the" chubby girl in the neighborhood. We met at a pond, where I used to catch tad poles. I remember showing her the best spots to find them. If you were really lucky, you'd find one that was almost a frog! We also managed to catch salamanders and some crayfish. One time I slipped and fell in the pond, but decided to go deeper to see if I could find a better spot to catch more and talked her into coming in with me  Ended up being a really fun day, but we ended up not being friends anymore once she hit the stage of not liking boys. Very sad day for me  I wonder where she is now??? who knows... But I bet she would remember those times


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## Jay West Coast (Dec 21, 2008)

I became an FA when...I was born.


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## Mack27 (Dec 21, 2008)

My parents were both extremely anti-fat while at the same time my grandmother and aunts (who cared for me often) were very fat. I think it has something to do with that. Sexual imprinting takes place in very early childhood, maybe even earlier than your earliest conscious memories (so it would indeed seem like you were born that way.) Its not quite the same as being hard-wired because preferences can evolve a little bit through one's adult life, but its close. So we can make logical guesses, but we can't "know."


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## The Orange Mage (Dec 21, 2008)

I got bit by a radioactive fat chick while on a field trip in high school, thus I made a cool costume and becamse FA-Man!


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## Haunted (Dec 22, 2008)

I don't really know why I'm an Fa but it may have something to do with my Mom, She was always a little overwieght and was always Dieting and denying herself things because of whatever diet, 

i was also an overwieght kid and i stuffed pilows when i was kid actually almost identicle to roddles story lol


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## kronoman (Dec 22, 2008)

I think that it was in high school, when I dated a tall fat girl, and that was :wubu: wow this girl is so much better than skinny girls
then dated another fat girl and the deal was sealed
fat girls are high quality!!! :wubu::wubu:


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## stan_der_man (Dec 22, 2008)

I don't particularly know _how_ I became a FA... All I know is that I _discovered_ I was a FA in a bar in Kodiak AL when I was 7 years old... seriously.


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## Matt L. (Dec 22, 2008)

While in eighth grade and freshman year in high school, I discovered my attraction to fuller figured females. That said and even though what I admire most about the female gender is intelligence, class and a winning sense of humor, I find heavier gals all the more appealing.


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## Baba Fats (Dec 22, 2008)

fa_man_stan said:


> I don't particularly know _how_ I became a FA... All I know is that I _discovered_ I was a FA in a bar in Kodiak AL when I was 7 years old... seriously.



Okay, I'll take the bait. What were you doing in a Kodiak bar when you were seven, and what did you find there that led to this momentous discovery? A back issue of Dimensions? Eskimo Nell? Sarah Palin's morph?


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## Jay West Coast (Dec 22, 2008)

fa_man_stan said:


> I don't particularly know _how_ I became a FA... All I know is that I _discovered_ I was a FA in a bar in Kodiak AL when I was 7 years old... seriously.



Kodiak, Alabama? Seven? Do tell!


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## qwertyman173 (Dec 22, 2008)

Always have been. Always will be. I don't really recall a "Eureka" style moment lol


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## TheIceManVer2.0 (Dec 22, 2008)

One of my favorite childhood memories possibly has to do w/ my budding FA-ness. My sister is 5 years younger than me, and I would always go for walks with my mom while she was pushing her the stroller. My mom had a friend who was a lot bigger than her who had a kid about my sister's age. So, me being the innate little perv that I am, used to walk behind them while they pushed the strollers, all the while watching my mom's friend's giant, wiggling booty! I remember being fascinated by it. As far as being sexually aroused by bigger women, I had crushes on fat teachers as a pre-teen and teenager. My first gf's weren't fat, just a bit chubby. When I finally had an experience with a true BBW, my preference was out of the bag. That was when I was about 19 or 20. I'm 27 now.


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## badmikey (Dec 22, 2008)

I became one in my 20's after my divorce, I went on alot of blind dates and since I never saw some of the women before I had no idea what they looked like. I decided I'd give all a chance despite appearances etc. and just have a good time. Since many turned out to be BBW's I sort of got hooked by attractive BBW's. Now I'm not 100% only into BBW's I like women period of any shape/size.


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## UMBROBOYUM (Dec 22, 2008)

I always was, didn't realize til I was 14 or 15. I was in a gym class and there was this girl with a big butt and round tummy


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## VVET (Dec 22, 2008)

I too, always was, only I thought I was the only one around. No hint of other FAs until I saw a few articles in mens magazines & discovered BUF magazine


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## BothGunsBlazing (Dec 22, 2008)

I've already posted this, but just a reminder of that one night on the mountain top.


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## stan_der_man (Dec 22, 2008)

Baba Fats said:


> Okay, I'll take the bait. What were you doing in a Kodiak bar when you were seven, and what did you find there that led to this momentous discovery? A back issue of Dimensions? Eskimo Nell? Sarah Palin's morph?





Jay West Coast said:


> Kodiak, Alabama? Seven? Do tell!



My bad, thanks for catching it Jay... actually it was Kodiak AK (Alaska).

True story... When I was a kid living in Anchorage we visited my adopted grandparents on Kodiak Island AK who owned the local bar (the main one in town.) In preparation for a fishing trip, we went into the bar to get the fishing rods and equipment. I remember seeing this man and woman at the bar. The woman's rear end was almost wide enough to span two bar stools and her love handles were bulging out above here jeans. I was smitten... I remember talking about that woman until my grandmother said "that's enough Stan..." This is when I discovered I was a FA.


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## Adamantoise (Dec 22, 2008)

I was hit by a radioactive wave of some sort...it transformed me somehow....into FA MAN!


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## SC_FA_08 (Dec 22, 2008)

I Think for me that it happened towards the end of elementary school. I was never really the athletic kid and was somewhat chubby. So of course i was always hanging out with the "fat" girl in class. From there on out I have always been attracted to bigger women and never really dated one up until a few years ago. Let me tell you it was the most amazing thing I could have done. I'm not going back from BBWs/SSBBWs :smitten:


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## Jon Blaze (Dec 22, 2008)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> I've already posted this, but just a reminder of that one night on the mountain top.



HAHA! It's fuckin' highlander up in this bitch.


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## kinkykitten (Dec 23, 2008)

I've always been an FFA for as long as I remember 

I think it's genetic... lol


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## stan_der_man (Dec 23, 2008)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> I've already posted this, but just a reminder of that one night on the mountain top.





Adamantoise said:


> I was hit by a radioactive wave of some sort...it transformed me somehow....into FA MAN!



... personally, I still think seeing a woman's rear-end spread across two bar seats was more spectacular.


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## mediaboy (Dec 23, 2008)

Probably about eight or nine.


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## Blockierer (Dec 24, 2008)

* How did you become an FA?*

Step by step 

First as a teeny I admired girls with huge boobs, then I began to admire big girls with huge boobs, after that I started to admire big girls no matter the size of the boobs.  
I was really easy, my way to FA


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 24, 2008)

kinkykitten said:


> I've always been an FFA for as long as I remember
> 
> I think it's genetic... lol



I am wondering if it is myself- my oldest daughter is starting to have some of her father's "fat preferences" I have been noticing lately........


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## Abernachy (Dec 26, 2008)

I've been one for as long as I've been noticing women. I always found myself more attracted to larger women and even after dating a few, I noticed that they tended to have better inner beauty then other women. Phsyically, seeing a woman with a large body and a roll is a turn on, especially in black lingerie, I tend to get my net gun and kidnap them at that point.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 27, 2008)

I don't know about anyone else, but all this talk of kidnap (tied up???) and held at gunpoint has me all hot and bothered.......:blush:


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## Famouslastwords (Dec 27, 2008)

Sigh, yup me too GEF


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## Haunted (Dec 27, 2008)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I don't know about anyone else, but all this talk of kidnap (tied up???) and held at gunpoint has me all hot and bothered.......:blush:





Famouslastwords said:


> Sigh, yup me too GEF



But It sounds like Fun !!!!!!!!!! 

View attachment Fat People t.jpg


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## BTB (Dec 27, 2008)

I blame Demi Moore.
Seriously.

Many persons on this board list Willy Wonka as the spark that ignited the fever for WG and the resulting appreciation for BBWs but in my case where it the probably the Vanity Fair Pictures of her pregnant. They somehow haunted me. I even bought the magazine for approximately 25$ when I had the chance ( prior to the blessings of the Internet).
Next Step was finding a magazine called BUF with a very beautiful Girl on the cover. There also was with a picture of the beautiful Brie Brown and a mentioning of Dimensions in it and now im here.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 27, 2008)

BTB said:


> I blame Demi Moore.
> Seriously.
> 
> Many persons on this board list Willy Wonka as the spark that ignited the fever for WG and the resulting appreciation for BBWs but in my case where it the probably the Vanity Fair Pictures of her pregnant. They somehow haunted me. I even bought the magazine for approximately 25$ when I had the chance ( prior to the blessings of the Internet).
> Next Step was finding a magazine called BUF with a very beautiful Girl on the cover. There also was with a picture of the beautiful Brie Brown and a mentioning of Dimensions in it and now im here.




Demi Moore





Britney Spears





Herzigova






Does this mean you're a belly guy?


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## BTB (Dec 27, 2008)

Thanks for fulfilling this wish Green Eyed Fairy.
My taste has developed in a wider range since the long times i have been on Dimensions and I'm not exclusively bound to bellies. The only phsical thing that would really disturb me a lot in a woman would be if she looks unhealthy thin.

Otherwise I like it most when a bigger woman presents herself in a way that emits that she does like the way she looks.


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## unfront (Dec 28, 2008)

For me, there was never a defining moment. I have been hard wired to adore beautiful women since birth....one day however, I did notice that all the beautiful women were big!


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## R. Mutt (Dec 28, 2008)

Correspondence course. A lot of self-guided study, but it paid off. Framed the certificate and everything.


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## LuvBigBoned (Dec 29, 2008)

There was no moment for me. I always just liked what I like and I pretty much like almost every female body type except skinny, which I find incredibly boring. 

Also, power is sexy and I've always thought a big, curvaceous girl or woman who exudes energy almost gushes both sexual and a kind of physical power.


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## aptx (Dec 30, 2008)

Lol, when I was a kid like idk 10 or whenever I started wacking off .. too much information? haha
Anyway, I found my parents immense stash of porn mags, I must have "read" them all twice then I cut out all the fat chicks, women in fishnets and big boobs.
So I guess ever since I liked to look at nekkid women

When my mum found "the stash" of cut outs she tore them all up and told me "women are not like that!" 
The bitch.
But I think she meant more of getting their boobs outs and shagging than physical appearance. 

Then obviously trying fat and skinny chicks for luvin. Didn't like hips jabbing me amongst other things, skinny chicks definitely got sex longer because it wasn't floating my boat very well. 
A weirder one is I feel like I can be abit more physical and less held back with big chicks and skinny ones make me feel like I have to have sex like an 80 year old.
slow and steady
yawn


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## Weirdo890 (Dec 30, 2008)

I've probably always been an FA, but it was kicked into high gear when puberty hit, and I discovered Anna Nicole Smith.


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## ChubbyChaserDave (Jan 2, 2009)

UMBROBOYUM said:


> I always was, didn't realize til I was 14 or 15. I was in a gym class and there was this girl with a big butt and round tummy



Same story with me. Always was, but didn't realize it until highschool.


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## Oirish (Jan 8, 2009)

I think I first started to recognize my preference for girls with a little more curves about Freshman year in High School. I'm sure there were others first but I can recall one girl that really set it off for me. Her name is Nikki and we're actually still close friends about a decade later! She wasn't a fat girl, just a little chubby...very little all things considered. Yet I was still teased a bit by the other guys. I was one of the more popular guys in school and I totally caved and we stopped dating. A low point for my self-respect to be sure. She ended up losing a bit and looking very Merilyn Monroe-like for a while and has since plumped back up and surpassed her former chubby size. She looks AMAZING! Buuuut unfortunately still believes Iraq has weapons of mass destruction and we should be there until we find them so I'm not too sure about finding intellectual stimulation there now...which surprised me. 
After Nikki, I dated an incredibly gorgeous girl named Jessica for about two years. She was the blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauty I was "supposed" to date. She played soccer and broke all of the schools pole-vaulting records (keep your minds out of the gutters....sinners) I had completely blocked out any and all thoughts about BBWs for most of our relationship. But then she started to gain! Just a little bit but all of my previous admiration and desire for big girls came back in spades! She had only put on ten pounds throughout our relationship, maybe 15 at most, but it definitely showed wonderfully on her 5'4" frame. I think I must have been a good influence on her though because I was sifting through some BBW image galleries, as I am wont to do, I saw her! SHE IS HUGE AND GORGEOUS NOW! Hopefully happy too. 
Since Jessica and I broke up I have dated a number of BBWs and plenty of smaller girls as well. Call me an equal opportunist So that's my story for the most part. It's at least a brief description of the two girls that really turned me into an FA.


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## Tychondarova (Jan 8, 2009)

Its funny, its one of those things that I always knew, ever since I can remember, but actually realized kind of early. Maybe I wasn't totally conscious of why, but even in grade school I would befriend the fat girls, and bring them extra food in my lunch, or give them my dessert, things like that. I wasn't always aware of why I wanted to, but I knew I liked fat girls, and I liked seeing them get fatter.

Starts early for some

-Ty


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## jakub (Jan 8, 2009)

Very very early...6-7yr ?


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## guyfromaz01 (Jan 13, 2009)

I remember my sisters friend when we were teens, she was a big girl and I remember always wanting to hang out when she was around. Later on I just was drawn to the bigger girls, I remember in high school I was dating a gal that was nice and curvy and I haven't gone back, not that I don't think thin girls can't be hot but fat girls really do it for me. Also as I get older I appreciate the bigger girls out there. Nothing like a hottie that's curvy. I just wish that girls like Luna were around when I was in my 20's. Internet is great, it just should have been around sooner.


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## The Fat Man (Jan 13, 2009)

I was your 'A' typical uncomfortable in my skin fat kid.. I was outgoing enough, had friends, went out but there was always that social awkwardness looming over me. So hello searching the internet for social acceptance, you folks feel me. I know you do. As any young adolescent young red blooded American male does when their find themselves alone with a computer and an internet connection.. *singing* "the internet is for porn.. "

I'd always found curvy women attractive, maybe it was because I grew up fat, maybe its because my parents were fat, maybe its my grandmothers treating every possible problem with snack food, maybe its some deep rooted sexual back alley in my cerebellum.. or something. I'm sure the exact psychological culprit could be explored, but long story short.. I likes the big ladies.

Early in my exploration of the net for big naked boobies, like probably every male on these forums.. I found Dimensions. After hours and days reading stories, flicking through all the amazing art, visiting all the sites I could find.. the idea of a woman gaining weight became an intense sexual fantasy (thanks a lot Dimensions, lol) and the "holy shit I can't let any of my friends or family find out about this, Jesus Christ" syndrome set in.

I lurked.. for _*years*_.

Eventually after high school, and after Dimensions adopted this new board system, I started to poke my head in now and again. Thus far in my third or fourth attempt at delurking I feel I've been less than successful in portraying my charming personality.. *gleaming smile*

It's sort of a task breaking into the social scene around this joint.

But yeah, back on track, I'm semi open about my feelings. My wife is well aware of Dimensions and all the sites. I've showed her BBW Pinups and Ivy's sites, Plump Princess and Gaining Goddess. She appreciates all the sites and the message the ladies stand by, that a woman can be confident and proud and sexy no matter the size. That bit she finds really awesome. So having a wonderful woman standing by me, not judging me, sharing in something that's been a part of my life since I was in grade school, that's done wonders to help break down that wall, that fear of people "finding out".. sort of like, "I married a big girl, why the hell wouldn't it be obvious that's the sort of figure I'm drawn to.. duh."

So yeah.. trying to be a little more open here..


.. know me.. talk to me.. I'm interesting.. :happy:


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## aubz2415 (Jan 13, 2009)

At my church....yes church im sorry......but anywy der was one fat girl i paid a lot of attention but i was jus scard to say sumthin. she was omg awsome and she knew i liked she her butt jus jiggled she knew it i knew it and she knew i knew it and loved it. she had 2 or 3 beergutts ontop of each other and jiggle like i liked it


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## jackspesco (Jan 14, 2009)

The comment about early-age sexual imprinting is spot on. My aunt lost her 12 year old son to leukemia in the mid-1950's just before I was born. She gained weight and perhaps over-mothered me and her next two sons. My cousins are married to SSBBW sisters.

I was watching a Bob Hope comedy sketch on TV when I was in 8th (?) grade. The skit was about Bob and some woman in fat suits. Very surprised, I got the first erection in my life. That's when I knew. 

I've been conflicted ever since. I get sexually aroused, even though I know being overweight (and the diet/lifestyle that leads to it) is not healthy. My BMI is 23.5 and my wife's is 36.8.

What a change from the days of the odd, chance picture of an overweight woman to internet porn that caters to EVERY taste! As us baby-boomers age, we surf the net for anything to "keep the flame alive."


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## Accept (Jan 16, 2009)

I had always been weirdly fascinated with female body expansion from a very early age. Around middle school I started to use the internet to explore it, and found some of the early expansion sites like Wren Spot. That's when I started trying my hand at drawing what I was imagining. I remember stumbling upon an early Dimensions and seeing the before and after shots... that's when the neural connection started forming between that familiar fascination and the abstraction thereof personified in bigger girls.

I put a bunch of art online in the late 90s and got a bit of a following, and along the way experimented with every sort of kink related to expansion whether I was into it or not. Eventually I began to graduate to an affinity for the BBW/WG side of things only, and by the beginning of 2002 I was completely disinterested in anything else (to the disappointment of several "inflation" fans I had become internet friends with along the way).

And thus emerged the FA you see today. :bow:


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## UA_UX (Jan 18, 2009)

Hmm, I dunno. I guess when I was a teenager, I was fooling around on the internet and I found some pictures of Teighlor, and that was that.

But why was I looking on the internet for pictures of really big girls? I guess I was a FA before that.


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## Cors (Jan 19, 2009)

BBWs were extremely rare where I grew up, so they tend to catch my eye and I was fascinated with their bodies. At some point I started thinking of how their soft, lush bodies might feel. I have fat gay friends three times my size who used to scoop me up, give me enveloping hugs and allowed me to stroke their bellies, and that only got me more interested. 

I am also generally drawn to to people who don't succumb to the pressure of society to act or look a certain way. Butch women, femme boys, genderqueers, proud geeks, modified people and well, people who are confident in their fat bodies. I find that many of them have this quiet strength and empathy that I admire.


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## The Orange Mage (Jan 19, 2009)

Cors said:


> BBWs were extremely rare where I grew up, so they tend to catch my eye and I was fascinated with their bodies. At some point I started thinking of how their soft, lush bodies might feel. I have fat gay friends three times my size who used to scoop me up, give me enveloping hugs and allowed me to stroke their bellies, and that only got me more interested.
> 
> I am also generally drawn to to people who don't succumb to the pressure of society to act or look a certain way. Butch women, femme boys, genderqueers, proud geeks, modified people and well, people who are confident in their fat bodies. I find that many of them have this quiet strength and empathy that I admire.



Yeah, that second paragraph works. I tend to find anyone not looking the "expected" way to be attractive in some way.


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## Tad (Jan 19, 2009)

The Orange Mage said:


> Yeah, that second paragraph works. I tend to find anyone not looking the "expected" way to be attractive in some way.



I third that.


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## Observer (Jan 19, 2009)

I first was fascinated by a chubby girl in the fourth grade - but she wouldn't be friendly like the tom boys on our street so I teased her instead, although not about her weight, and then felt sorry for having done it 'cause I really wanted to be friends. 

As I matured I was friendly to girls of all sizes; however, I had a special attraction to those who were bigger. As I've shared before it got to the point that I feared there might be something wrong with me and I even sought the help of a counselor. 

Fortunately he was wiser than some. He knew that some people have various preferences and told me so honestly without putting any guilt on me. He also noted that people were heavier for various reasons and that I should know that some were masking abuse and self-hatred rather than just reflecting genes or a healthy appetite. He told me this not as a downer, but as something to be aware of as I followed my instincts. 

It will in a few years be half a century since receiving that advice, which I fortunately followed. I'm now a four time grandpa with a BBW wife who still brings a smile just thinking about her.


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## Wild Zero (Jan 19, 2009)

First fat girl I remember being attracted to (inasmuch as a 9 year old can) was the sweet little Italian girl who sat behind me in fourth grade. She had this endearing habit of softly humming or singing in the middle of class or during tests, very beautiful voice too. I remember how quiet she was about it, teachers never reprimanded her, and how she would never sing in plays or music class even though she would have easily trumped the nasal whines of the other girls who wanted to be Mariah Carey. 

At times I felt like I was intruding on a private world by listening. And sometimes it'd feel like I was the only other person in the universe she liked or trusted enough to sing to. Most of the time I just wanted to give her a big squishy hug.


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## maxi (Jan 22, 2009)

Such a great question. I can remember going with my parents to the airport to pick up my uncle. I was probably about 10 years old. And while we waited to get his luggage I was completely transfixed by a woman in stretch pants in front of me. She had a really, really wide ass - and it was made all the more fascinating (alluring?) by the way the stretch pants kind of contained her corpulence (opulence?). At one point my uncle must have noticed me staring at her. Being the wise ass that he always was, he said, "look at that ass - it looks like there's a couple of bulldogs in there having a fight..." 
His description was apt - but I can still remember that beautiful ass. 

Since then I've always been attracted to stretch fabric on big girls. I also totally identify with the previous posts with regards to stuffing your clothing. I did that on many occasions as I went through puberty...


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## SJ61 (Jan 22, 2009)

I also did the pillows up the shirt thing - strange. I am not really fat, but have always harboured a secret desire to be very fat and part of me would like to turn heads due to my huge, soft belly. Chiefly I adore the look and feel of very fat women. I used to draw pictures of girls as a teenager and would be forever rubbing out the drawing so I could make the girls fatter as the drawing went on. Eventually they would be there, gorgeously plump, with big bulging bellies and lovely shapely rolls over their hips, plump thighs etc. - always beautifully presented and very sexy. I dated lots of skinny and average sized girls, but as the average size of the female body has increased, I found it more and more stimulating. When I found Dimensions it was like a breath of fresh air and when I started going out with my first bbw, all the anticipation was realised. She looked and felt so good. I think back to those experiments with the pillow as a child and the drawings as a teenager and I was clearly always fascinated and turned on by the look and feel of fat. The bigger people have become over recent years, the more liberating it feels and I love seeing so many beautiful bbws and ssbbws wherever I go - brilliant! I personally feel so proud walking hand in hand with a supersized woman, showing her off to all passers by and knowing how lucky I am. I love watching her eat and gain weight, which is so sexy, just in the same way as my drawings used to gain as they went along.


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## nykspree8 (Jan 23, 2009)

In my 5th grade class I remember there being this cute chubby girl, and I thought she was really hot  That's the first time I remember being attracted to big girls, skinny chicks just never did it for me, and never will


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## swamptoad (May 5, 2009)

roddles said:


> I was thinking today how I became FA and I thought it would be interesting to share and see how other people relate to this.
> 
> I guess it stems from when I was young, I was a small bit chubby, and I hated it. I felt like every one was staring at me. I was dreadfully embarassed even though I wasn't really fat I just thought I was I guess this made me respect fat people alot and this grew into curiosity. My Dad was somewhat Anti fat and often pointed at fat people and remarked. I don't know weather he was a fat admirer of sorts him self, I will never know. If he was he certainly was not going to show it. I gues this is how it started. I used to stuff pillows under my pyjamas when I was little to feel what it was like to be fat. later it grew into a turn on!
> 
> So thats mine anyway I would be interested if others are similar



ummm .... i did the same stuff ... stuffing pillows in my pajamas. :blush: :doh:

And I hadn't a clue why I had done such a thing. Which brings to memory an awkward moment where I get caught stuffing my shorts when I was just becoming a preteen *guessing* .... what did i say or do when I got caught ???

I just said I was trying to stretch the fabric some because they were tight.
*humiliating* :blush:


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## swamptoad (May 5, 2009)

double posted *ooops*


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## Durin (May 5, 2009)

I have always liked fat people even before it was a sexual thing. 

Dreams of Fat People and me being Fat, plus daydreaming about some fat Goddess.

It's just the way I roll

:bow:


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## bmann0413 (May 10, 2009)

I was born as one. I just needed to come to a place like this and unlock my full potential and learn of my awesome destiny.


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## mergirl (May 10, 2009)

There is one psychological perspective that we have sexualised that which has traumatised us when we were small. That our reoccurring fantasies can be traced back to a childhood event which we found uncomfortable and so tried to make it something nice.
So anyone get the shit kicked out of them by a fat person when they were younger??
I'm not sure i am totally on board with this line of thinking though here are some things in my childhood that could support this:

-Not being allowed to play with the fat girl in my street incase her parents fed me a lot of crappy food.
-My best friend and all her family being fat and teasing me for being thin.
-Being frightened by my father who got slightly fatter when i was about 8 i think.
-Being terrified of being fat for some reason.. not totally sure why, though my mum is very weight concious and talks about fat people in a kinna negative way.. well she DID.

i'm not sure if any of these things were definitive reasons in my being attracted to fat people.. but maby.. who knows..
Fatties rule!:wubu: Just saying..:blush:


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## Cors (May 11, 2009)

mergirl said:


> There is one psychological perspective that we have sexualised that which has traumatised us when we were small. That our reoccurring fantasies can be traced back to a childhood event which we found uncomfortable and so tried to make it something nice.
> So anyone get the shit kicked out of them by a fat person when they were younger??
> I'm not sure i am totally on board with this line of thinking though here are some things in my childhood that could support this:
> 
> ...



Hmm, that reminded me of something. 

I was the "fat" girl growing up. My coaches and family members were frustrated and dismayed by my inability to lose weight. When I was 10 or so, my mum and my female relatives (who have never weighed more than 80 pounds and view anything above that as monstrous) cornered me and told me how fat girls are disgusting, lazy and that nobody will ever want to date one. Something in me just snapped. I started screaming about how there is nothing wrong with being bigger, that I found fat women attractive and would want to be one when I grew up. They were too shocked to say anything but I got a terrible beating from my dad that night. 

After that incident I started being more aware of how I am constantly on the lookout for women bigger than me (rare where I came from). I even remembered doing it intentionally just to get a rise out of my controlling parents. It might have started out as one of the many ways I rebelled, but I gradually realised that their bodies also turned me on. That got confirmed when I started dating.


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## Tad (May 11, 2009)

mergirl said:


> There is one psychological perspective that we have sexualised that which has traumatised us when we were small. That our reoccurring fantasies can be traced back to a childhood event which we found uncomfortable and so tried to make it something nice.
> So anyone get the shit kicked out of them by a fat person when they were younger??



I'm not sure I'm on board with it either, but I have wondered sometimes.....

- I remember a bit of a running battle with my Mom when I was little. She baked a lot and we always had well stocked cookie boxes, and I was never told that I couldn't have cookies, but I was criticized for having too many....."Have as many as want, but you shouldn't want too many" was the mixed message.
- Although I wasn't all that chubby, I did get called "fatty-fatty 2 by 4..." in kindergarten, which was the first time I had any real awareness of my body being anything but totally normal. I could still out-run, out-skate, and out-ski the rest of the class, so I thought it was pretty silly for them to say that, but it bugged me.

I've wondered if I took those sorts of things and like you said, found a world view where they were good things, where wanting a lot of cookies and eating them was approved, where being a "fatty" was approved. Although you'd think then that it would be just that I wanted to be fat and maybe fed, while my feelings are probably stronger towards being an FA and enjoying others gaining.

I don't know, just speculating.


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## Babygirlneedsu (May 11, 2009)

I often wonder about the origins of my FA ness and am more inclined to think that it may be as a result of very early positive associations which are not even registered in the adult consciousness but are deep down somewhere in the id / psyche. I was born to a bbw mum and after her initial reluctance/fear of handling a newborn [ there is another story here about the doctor who came to bath me for my first 2 weeks and her curtain of long dark hair and striking slavic cheekbones ] she must have then nurtured me against her large and comforting form and I have photos of me sitting by her side as a tiny mite as she fed my younger brother and I remember being tiny and sitting on her tummy when she read me books.......they say that we go for an adult partner who ressembles our mother/father, depending on our eventual sexual preferences or hard wiring if you like ! I then had a close bond with my mum's best friend, a very succulent SSBBW, from the age of 5 and can remember some nice moments laying with her for a cuddle when small. She first entered my consciousness at around 5 yrs old and I recall a visit to stay with us after she had moved North and my little brother and I came in from playing outside to look at the visitor, as kids will, but there was no going back to play for me as I sat transfixed by the wonderful sight of this gorgeous fatty and what stays with me is the delightful way her roly poly chubby legs parted and her dress rode up to reveal a Grand Canyon of spilling and flowing folds........later at age 12 ish I was lucky enough to be in her bedroom watching tv [ FA cup on downstairs = football final=boring ] and not knowing I was there, she came in fully naked from an afternoon shower and was happy to lay next to me and we chatted and had a snuggle....but I was very aware of being totally turned on and made my excuses to go down to the others before I lost the plot and overstepped the bounds of propriety......It was around this age that I knew that such a SSBBW was the erotic ideal for me and in no way did she ever behave in an inappropriate manner towards me. Her husband was a surrogate father figure in many ways [ my own dad died when i was rising 5 ] and I was equally fond of him....but would have run a mile if he had wanted to snuggle naked on a bed....horror !

So was I made a FA by early positive nurturing / contact or was I just born with this as hard wired into my brain as I believe my gayness to be? Who knows ? and does it really matter as it is the way I am and I must deal with it as best I can.

It interests me to wonder whether FA's would/ could exist if, as newborns, they came into a world where no fat people existed [ G-d forbid !!! ] Since coming to DIMS, I have read of 'fetishistic' type fantasies which seem to be common to many FA's but I have always imagined as very deeply personal to me.... I cite the BBW stuck/framed in a doorway as an example and was literally flabberghasted to learn that it is on the menu for many FA's.....so there would seem to be some element of 'collective consciousness' floating around .....maybe a virus which infects some with its own peculiar FA DNA ??

So here ends my ramble for today.....just putting a spanner in the works where Mergirl's theory intrigued me somewhat !


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## butch (May 11, 2009)

I may get flamed a bit for this, but here goes:

I'm curious as to why it appears that a larger than average number of F(F)As are former fatties?


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## Tad (May 11, 2009)

Babygirlneedsu said:


> It interests me to wonder whether FA's would/ could exist if, as newborns, they came into a world where no fat people existed [ G-d forbid !!! ] Since coming to DIMS, I have read of 'fetishistic' type fantasies which seem to be common to many FA's but I have always imagined as very deeply personal to me.... I cite the BBW stuck/framed in a doorway as an example and was literally flabberghasted to learn that it is on the menu for many FA's.....so there would seem to be some element of 'collective consciousness' floating around .....maybe a virus which infects some with its own peculiar FA DNA ??
> 
> So here ends my ramble for today.....just putting a spanner in the works where Mergirl's theory intrigued me somewhat !



For what it is worth, I'm really not aware of any BBW figures in my infancy. Obviously I don't remember it, so maybe there was someone there who wasn't part of my life by the time I was old enough to remember it. But my family was thin, my neighbours were at most in the normal range, my parents friends ranged from thin to normal. 

I have a suspicion that just as there is a lot of variety in FA, that there may be a lot of variety in how we become FA.


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## Aivo (May 11, 2009)

I can remember several instances of me being fascinated by fat when I was younger, way before I knew I was sexually attracted to it.

I remember stuffing myself with pillows and blankets, just like lots of other people here. I also remember my brother doing it too and getting really into it, while our friends who we had over at the time didn't get why we enjoyed it so much. Someone mentioned genetics earlier and their role in making someone an FA, and I've wondered about that when I've seen my brother engaging in FA-like behaviors.

Anyway, getting back on subject, when I was maybe 11 or 12 I remember thinking about this fat girl I know gaining weight, and I found it strangely exciting. 

When I started getting crushes on boys in middle school, though, none of them were fat. I guess I wasn't aware that I was actually attracted to fat people then, just that I was fascinated by them. It really should've tipped me off when I was browsing a picture gallery of a skinny celebrity I was in love with back then and saw a picture where he had put on some weight and now had a small belly, which I spent I don't even know how long staring at in awe, but no, I remained ignorant.

Finally, after all this rambling, I'm finally getting to the part where I discover my FFAness. It was freshman year in high school, and I had a math teacher who was somewhat fat. I liked him from the moment I met him, and then I found myself becoming attracted to him. It tried to stop this attraction, thinking how messed up it was, but it couldn't suppress it, so I eventually started fantasizing about him, and it wasn't long before I realized how attractive I found his fat. He would make fun of himself periodically for being fat, too, and even though after they happened I would look back on these situations and get turned on by them, I found myself getting very self-concious whenever he would rub or touch his belly in front of me, and I would look away, and, of course, afterwards wish I hadn't.

Also, I remember freshman year of high school, even before I became insanely attracted to my teacher, I somehow discovered the huge numbers of BBW videos on YouTube (probably searching something related to my subconcious fat attraction), and I would watch them... a lot.

After doing more searching on the Internet, I found Dimensions and related sites, which only allowed my fat fetish (yes, I do call it a fetish now, because it pretty much has to be there for me to get turned on) to flourish.

I don't post on this site often, but this thread made me recount pretty much my whole life, and I had to share it.


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## thatgirl08 (May 11, 2009)

I think it's less how you "became" an FA and more how you realized it.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 12, 2009)

To be totally honest, I never actually thought about it. Just realized, after hitting Dims, that some of the men I have been attracted to in the past were on the heavier side. Was never a big deal to me........*shrugs*


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## pjbbwlvr (May 12, 2009)

I honestly cannot say when I became or even aware of that I liked only big and very beautiful women! I really believe that I was born this way because I was always an FA as far as I can remember! And I'm Dam happy being this way too!!!  PJ


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## wrench13 (May 12, 2009)

Lets see, when I was quite a young lad, I remember getting in trouble for going thru my germanic Gand-da's NeuReview magazines and cutting out the pics of the stacked models ( the girls were substantially bigger then the ladies in American mags at the time). Maybe I was 6 or 7? 

In Catholic grammar school, grades 6-8, there was a young junior SSBBW in my grade - dark hair, round cute face, a not quite budding bbw body, and killer fat legs. I confess that I used to loiter in the school yard until after the assembly bell had rung, judiciously selecting when I joined the line to go inside. Why? Well to glance up the stair case at her beautiful legs ( and thighs!) as she climbed the stairs a flight abve me. Am I going to Hell? Likely. 

I didn't really hit my stride with dating until High School and local confraterity dances, where I gained the rep of being the chubby chaser ( in the female sense ) in the school. 

In college, I was then a full fledged FA. Oddly enough, after graduating, I did date and sleep with a few thin girls ( mea culpa, mea culpa) but I broke both relationships off, since it was not fair to these girls that I would fanasize about fat girls when making love ( not 100% of the time , but most of the time). Since then, Fat Girls for me!


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## Happy FA (May 14, 2009)

I look at my FA'ness as an outgrowth of who I am. I tend to believe that in the nature vs. nurture discussion nature predominates. 

In some ways I analogize my story of how I became an FA to the story told about Michelangelo's David. He was presented with a highly flawed block of marble that no other sculptors wanted to work with and produced the David, which is a marvel of sculptural art. Michelangelo's take on it was that the David was always in the block of marble, it was just a matter of eliminating all the rest of the marble to reveal the sculpture. For me, I am totally convinced I was born a total FA and it was a matter of losing all the societal pressures, teachings and advertisements which were heaped on me from earliest cognition so that my true nature could be revealed. To others and more importantly, to me. 

I'm pretty sure that I didn't become aware that I might be attracted to beautiful fat chicks until I was probably 13 or 14, and didn't understand the concept of being an FA until I was probably in my twenties, but looking back into my childhood I see all sorts of examples and memories of FA events probably back to the age of 5 or 6 and pretty much continuously from then on.

My body knew it was an FA body, my mind and soul took longer to understand that.


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## Tau (May 14, 2009)

Wild Zero said:


> First fat girl I remember being attracted to (inasmuch as a 9 year old can) was the sweet little Italian girl who sat behind me in fourth grade. She had this endearing habit of softly humming or singing in the middle of class or during tests, very beautiful voice too. I remember how quiet she was about it, teachers never reprimanded her, and how she would never sing in plays or music class even though she would have easily trumped the nasal whines of the other girls who wanted to be Mariah Carey.
> 
> At times I felt like I was intruding on a private world by listening. And sometimes it'd feel like I was the only other person in the universe she liked or trusted enough to sing to. Most of the time I just wanted to give her a big squishy hug.



Don't know why but this little tale made me ache a bit


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## Tau (May 14, 2009)

I've always been surrounded by big, beautiful women but they always had tiny, tiny waists, thin faces and upper bodies and really big bottoms. In these parts thats not considered fat per se - its just the norm. I was 19 the first time I felt an almost shocking physical reaction to seeing a fat body - that I considered fat - other than my own. There was a girl who lived on the same floor as i did at uni - she was about 4 years older than my friends and I. She was very shy, very quiet and very, very fat. It was the first time I've ever been around anybody fatter than me - big belly, big arms, big hips and acres and acres of this beautifully flushed pink and white skin. The first time I saw her I stared - but I always stare at fat girls so I dismissed it. We got talking, and she wasnt terribly confident and could be really needy - which I confess put me off a bit - so we didn't become bosom chums or anything. One evening though I walked into the bathroom and she was coming out of the shower. Her towel didnt fit around her - mine never do either  - and then it slipped off all the way. She was beautiful - I actually kind of gasped. She looked like strawberry-cream satin - literally dripping wet and glossy and warm *droolz* We laughed and then she walked out of the bathroom. I had to rub one off in the shower LOL!


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## TallFatSue (May 14, 2009)

Mack27 said:


> Sexual imprinting takes place in very early childhood, maybe even earlier than your earliest conscious memories (so it would indeed seem like you were born that way.)


Methinx sexual imprinting can also happen much later. My husband had no interest in fat girls until he was 18 and I figuratively fell into his lap. Now THAT'S imprinting!


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## Jes (May 14, 2009)

TallFatSue said:


> Methinx sexual imprinting can also happen much later. My husband had no interest in fat girls until he was 18 and I figuratively fell into his lap. Now THAT'S imprinting!



Tell us more about this.


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## TallFatSue (May 14, 2009)

Jes said:


> Tell us more about this.


Actually we both kinda sorta fell into each other's laps. It's amazing how our relationship evolved from open contempt for each other, to suspicion, to truce, to friendship and finally to romance. The Screwball Comedy Method of dating.

In 1977 I was 20 and Art was 18 going on 6. He was the younger brother of a university classmate, and he kept turning up to annoy his sister. After a while, he decided that big tall fat Sue was an even better target, so he behaved like a royal jerk and told me every fat joke he knew. He just kept turning up. Again and again and again. After a few months, methought he doth protest too much. Finally after one fat joke too many, I triple dared Art to take me on a date and behave like a gentleman. To my horror he accepted the challenge, and to my delight we had a wonderful evening. 'Twas then Art confessed that he had never dated a fat girl before, but my personality and intelligence intrigued him, so he overcompensated by telling me all those fat jokes. Luckily I resisted the urge to break a chair over his head. That would have been a waste of perfectly good furniture. 

What was his "one fat joke too many"? No less than a SINGING FAT JOKE! Does anyone remember John Denver's timeless classic "Annie's Song"? ("You fill up my senses, like a night in the forest, like the mountains in springtime, like a walk in the rain...") Art sang that to me, except he changed the text: "You've got a big belly, the size of an asteroid, the size of a planet, the size of a star...") I was furious, and I screamed at him to "kiss my asteroid!" Not one of my better retorts. Art seized me from behind, replied "If you insist," and literally kissed my ass! For just a second, and for the first time, both of his hands grabbed my belly, and he buried his face in my big fat left cheek. Both of us were stunned. It took Art some time to come to grips with what he had done but, like the Grinch, his heart grew three sizes that day (and that wasn't the only part of him that grew three sizes that day  ). So, I didn't literally fall into his lap, but evidently a faceful of my big fat ass made no small impression on him. :smitten:


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## Jes (May 14, 2009)

TallFatSue said:


> It took Art some time to come to grips with what he had done but, like the Grinch, his heart grew three sizes that day (and that wasn't the only part of him that grew three sizes that day  ). So, I didn't literally fall into his lap, but evidently a faceful of my big fat ass made no small impression on him. :smitten:



...Doesn't sound familiar!


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## TallFatSue (May 14, 2009)

Jes said:


> ...Doesn't sound familiar!


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## Chef (May 14, 2009)

I believe that I was an FA long before I knew there was a word for it.

I'm a bit of a packrat, I collect bits and peices of everything, and nothing ever got thrown away. The upside to this, is when I sift thru the boxes of stuff I am able to take fleeting glances of my past and bring back forgotten memories. Like those classroom grade school pictures. (which reaffirms to me that I was always a skinny geek) 

However, when I look at the friends I had thru the years, boys and girls, my close friends were fat. My junior high/high school crushes/love interests were Big Beautiful Teens. I was not ashamed of being an FA, though I do remember thinking I was the only one.


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## Mini (May 14, 2009)

Sue, what Jes is saying is that just about every one of your posts in the history of ever has contained the fact that you're: 

A) Tall.
B) Fat.
C) Married to a man named Art, whom you love very deeply and dearly.
D) He was not initially into fat girls.

We get it. Everyone gets it. Even people who don't get it *almost* get it.


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## Famouslastwords (May 14, 2009)

To be fair I had never read that story and I thought it was cute.


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## Mini (May 14, 2009)

Famouslastwords said:


> To be fair I had never read that story and I thought it was cute.



So did I the first time I read it. Now I know why people get divorced; so their stories don't bore the shit out of people after forty years.


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## Famouslastwords (May 15, 2009)

My bad then......


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## TallFatSue (May 15, 2009)

Mini said:


> So did I the first time I read it. Now I know why people get divorced; so their stories don't bore the shit out of people after forty years.


All right, all right, I'll shut up. 

Nahhhhh.... 

Married only 27 years, so we still have plenty of time. :smitten:



Famouslastwords said:


> To be fair I had never read that story and I thought it was cute.


Exactly.


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## Tau (May 15, 2009)

Mini said:


> Sue, what Jes is saying is that just about every one of your posts in the history of ever has contained the fact that you're:
> 
> A) Tall.
> B) Fat.
> ...



That was seriously cruel. If something or somebody irritates you, just stop reading it. Sue's sharing something that brings her joy - just cause it bores you doesn't mean you get to be an absolute jerk about it.


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## Tad (May 15, 2009)

Tau said:


> That was seriously cruel. If something or somebody irritates you, just stop reading it. Sue's sharing something that brings her joy - just cause it bores you doesn't mean you get to be an absolute jerk about it.



^^^ that.

Politeness is still a wonderful thing.


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## mergirl (May 15, 2009)

Tau said:


> That was seriously cruel. If something or somebody irritates you, just stop reading it. Sue's sharing something that brings her joy - just cause it bores you doesn't mean you get to be an absolute jerk about it.


See, the rep i just gave you for the girl on girl porn you wrote..please share it with what you said there please.


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## Mini (May 15, 2009)

Tau said:


> That was seriously cruel. If something or somebody irritates you, just stop reading it. Sue's sharing something that brings her joy - just cause it bores you doesn't mean you get to be an absolute jerk about it.



*That* was me trying to be nice about it. Cruel is when I call her a robot programmed to spout the world's most inane Meet Cute at random intervals.


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## The Orange Mage (May 15, 2009)

That's nothing, dan would have knocked that one out of the park if he was here.


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## TallFatSue (May 15, 2009)

No problem. Art says "Hi." 

I have just received an important news bulletin that a full-body massage awaits me in the next room. Must investigate. Gotta keep these lifelong FAs-in-training in practise, ya know. Nighty night. :smitten:

Singing: "Something tells me I'm into something good."


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## Mini (May 15, 2009)

The Orange Mage said:


> That's nothing, dan would have knocked that one out of the park if he was here.



Which would also get me banned, again. Sometimes even I err on the side of caution, if not good taste.


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## StarWitness (May 15, 2009)

Back to the topic at hand...

The earliest FFA memory I have is... um... well, if you're around my age, you probably remember watching the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and how they loved to eat pizza...

:blush:

When I was 6 or 7, I would daydream about feeding Michaelangelo.

I can't believe I admitted that. ^__^;;;;;

And then in high school, I remember hanging out one summer afternoon with some friends and their friends, and one guy was this _massive_ guy, definitely over 6 feet, big framed, and chubby. He was the life of the party, so to speak, very outgoing and fun. And when we were all separating, he gave me a big bear hug, and the only term I can think of to describe how I felt is "blissed out." I never saw him again, I don't remember his name, but oh my God, it's been almost ten years and I still remember that hug.

So yeah. Yay big guys.


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## Jon Blaze (May 15, 2009)

butch said:


> I may get flamed a bit for this, but here goes:
> 
> I'm curious as to why it appears that a larger than average number of F(F)As are former fatties?



No flaming from me, but I was big (And "Fat" really to my my friends that thought having fat = being fat) at the time I began learning about it (Big +1 to thatgirl even though I wasn't born an FA). Really I was learning about Fat Admiration, Size Acceptance and HAES all around same time, so *Shrugs*.


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## Oaksearcher (May 16, 2009)

Thoughts regarding this topic:
I suppose I realized my preference as an FA during high school and finding this web site in my search results. Originally, I was working on Geometry problems and I suppose it makes sense that my search results returned with this web site as I was trying to figure out how to calculate the dimensions of a three dimensional shape, but I have only now begun to act on it.


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## Observer (May 16, 2009)

So what if TFS with themes and variations retells parts of her life story in different threads? 

I personally know a number of people with far less meaningful curricula vitae who do precisely the same thing - and what you need to remember is that most of the time new people are among those reading the post. For them its brand new.

Bottom line: the repetition hurts no one and potentially inspires many.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 16, 2009)

I think that it's good that she is always saying something positive and is kind enough to contribute good stories to various threads. Personally I get sick of whining, my life sucks, I can't find a man/woman posts myself. (Except when I make them, of course ) 
Not everyone on these boards has been here for years and years.....they might enjoy hearing if for the first time. "Us" isn't just the old schoolers...... 

And Jes DID ask her to elaborate......so Sue was kind enough to do so.


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## Carrie (May 16, 2009)

Everyone needs to shut their pieholes about the story and post more in the hot older fatties thread. True story.


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## ToniTails (May 16, 2009)

wow--- i've been sitting here reading these stories for an hour--- fascinating--- i have always loved big women- though when i was younger i was terrified of becoming one myself i'm still not sure about ALL the why's on that one, but i was very weight conscious. I was always thing to average as a kid- but i always thought i was fat and did every diet out there.

As an adult, I began to expand- i jumped two sizes when i was 19- from 14 to 18 and kept growing from there. It took a few years before i was ale to not only embrace but adore my own mounds of fluff, but big women have ALWAYS fascinated me.

As an adult, having the experience of being with a big and small women- I find that now that i am super sized myself, I am equally attracted to all sizes- kinda weird, but i guess now i have enough girth for everyone, even myself lol:eat1:


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## roddles (Jul 31, 2009)

As to mini, why did you come in to read this thread? was it just to be a jerk? And why would you waste your time if you didn't have either an interest in it or anything constructive to say whatsoever?


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## rollhandler (Jul 31, 2009)

In answer to the title of the thread I imagine that it isn't so much a matter of becoming an FA/FFA but more in realization of the fact. There are a variety of threads that speak to this topic and it is always nice to see the patterns of similar experiences that emerge within the FA/FFA community when the stories of this milestone are shared of when they realized their preference to the large form. 

I realize that this topic is discussed in several places, but for the newbies that don't understand that they can search threads to find the answers and topics, or that the thread has been posted before in the past here is my answer again.

A thread like this should have become a sticky to be easily found as a means introducing oneself and sharing this common experience of self awareness as an FA/FFA and also of being able to have newly discovered FAs/FFAs realize that they are not alone in this experience and therefore they are not necessarily as odd as they may feel in the world. It also may keep the thread from popping up new every couple of months to a response of "oh no not again" and having the poster wonder why not much response is given. 

In my case I cannot remember a time when I didn't give the bigger girls attention as an elementary schoolboy. Once I started becoming sexually aware of girls, as they physically turned into women, they were, and continue to be, the girls I found myself physically attracted to naturally as well. I can't remember a point in my life where I didn't see fat girls as visually and/or sexually appealing to me. 

Rollhandler


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## MattB (Jul 31, 2009)

I don't think I had one moment where I realized I was an FA, it's been a part of me forever. 

I grew up as the only guy in a house of VERY self-conscious, skinny women. Whenever the subject of fat would come up it was always the usual "look at her, she'd be so pretty if.." BS. It drove me crazy, as I'm sure it's the same for a lot of people here- I see fat as not only desirable, but normal. Even comforting in a way...Bless my Mom and my sisters, they had no idea how confused they made me!:doh:

I rebelled against literally everything they or anyone else had for the longest time EXCEPT for my preference in females. It wasn't until my early 20's when I moved out on my own and had time to think over things that I realized that...well...it was pretty weak of me to deny myself of anything that I liked, no matter what. I also decided not to harbour any blame against my family for anything either, how could they have known if I never told them? Besides, they were always great to me no matter how weird or "punky" I got. They would've understood AND made fun of me in their own way, (as it is now) but I know they would've accepted it. It is *so* a non-issue now, but it was difficult for a long time.


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## rollhandler (Jul 31, 2009)

Baba Fats said:


> Okay, I'll take the bait. What were you doing in a Kodiak bar when you were seven, and what did you find there that led to this momentous discovery? A back issue of Dimensions? Eskimo Nell? Sarah Palin's morph?



Having grown up with party hardy hippies, my parents would not leave my sister and myself with babysitters but instead would take us to the bar with them while they went to party / drink/ hang out with friends from time to time. We would be given a few dollars in quarters to go shoot pool or play pinball while they got together and BS'd with their friends over drinks. Nobody thought anything odd about it at the time as far as I knew and it wasn't a very small town.
Some of these things were simply acceptable then plus the bartender knew my parents and if they were with me it was ok. I would have never been allowed in by myself at that age. With things being the way they are now I could not imagine that happening if I were growing up in this day and age instead of then.
Rollhandler


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## rollhandler (Jul 31, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I am wondering if it is myself- my oldest daughter is starting to have some of her father's "fat preferences" I have been noticing lately........



Just my opinion here.
When a child is raised in an environment of size acceptance they tend to not be as judgemental and more open to it in themselves. That is not to say that her preference is influenced greatly by that environment but is more likely to produce a child who doesn't automatically view size with distaste and is less likely to produce a closeted mentality if ones taste is toward the larger form.

Rollhandler


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 31, 2009)

rollhandler said:


> Just my opinion here.
> When a child is raised in an environment of size acceptance they tend to not be as judgemental and more open to it in themselves. That is not to say that her preference is influenced greatly by that environment but is more likely to produce a child who doesn't automatically view size with distaste and is less likely to produce a closeted mentality if ones taste is toward the larger form.
> 
> Rollhandler



I won't disagree with this because that's my original assumption about her.

However......how do you explain people with the preference that grew up in fatphobic homes? 

I grew up in one- I dig some bigger guys from time to time. 
My daughter has spent many years growing up in a home with a father that likes bigger women (often time) but a mother that spent many years dieting and disliking her figure. 
Her father was very thin for most of his life, as well. I think the genetics do play into it....or it could be a factor of both....

I think having a preference for fatter/bigger is a natural thing....aka genetics, for some anyway.


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## rollhandler (Aug 1, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I won't disagree with this because that's my original assumption about her.
> 
> However......how do you explain people with the preference that grew up in fatphobic homes?
> 
> ...



Having grown up in a fatphobic home myself with a sister and mother constantly dieting I say that it adds to a feeling of guilt for liking fat bodies, and a feeling of shame for ones preference in a lot of cases, until the FA moves out of the house and can unabashedly chase the object of their desire. This doesnt take away the feelings of guilt or shame associated with it and some still hide their partners and preference in a closet. Since fat was the only bias that my parents and sister displayed and were totally accepting of any other differences I was not ashamed of bringing anyone home that I was dating and they were all large. Everyone noticed but nobody really mentioned it until one day my mother mentioned to me that all my girlfriends were fat and I thought for a moment and said, "Yes, they are, I date the girls I find attractive." Nothing was said about it past that point although I still catch crap about the health of my partners to this day. 

All I really meant by my previous post was that if the home is accepting then the need to hide ones preference around family and a lot of the feelings of guilt or shame associated with ones sexual awareness running to the larger form is less likely to be there and the child can display their taste without reservation in the family setting before she / he moves out of the house.

I have no doubt that FAs are born and not made.
Rollhandler


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## ESPN Cutie (Aug 1, 2009)

*Well, I have always been attracted to big guys, but I am also attracted to thinner ones. For me, a good looking man is a good looking man - regardless of size. And up until a few years ago, I didn't really favor one size over the other; but, that finally changed when I realized how important fat is for me sexually in a relationship.

Throughout high school and college, I always knew there was something lacking sexually in my relationships but I couldn't figure out what it was. By my senior year in college, I had been in long term relationships and had casual hookups but never with a BHM. Up until that point, I had no size preferenece for the guys I dated. Yet, with all of these guys, there was ALWAYS something missing when it came to sex. With every single one of them. This led me to believe that my sex drive was off, or low or something. And it ruined most of these relationships.

Anyway, during my senior year in college, my boyfriend gained about 30 pounds; he wasn't big, the 30 pounds put him at like 200. But those measly 30 pounds did the trick to "awaken" the FFA in me and make sex better between us. Especially when I thought about him gaining more weight.

And that was it. I put together the "clues" from other things in my life and realized that fat turned me on sexually and without it, sex is pointless.*


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Aug 1, 2009)

rollhandler said:


> Having grown up in a fatphobic home myself with a sister and mother constantly dieting I say that it adds to a feeling of guilt for liking fat bodies, and a feeling of shame for ones preference in a lot of cases, until the FA moves out of the house and can unabashedly chase the object of their desire. This doesnt take away the feelings of guilt or shame associated with it and some still hide their partners and preference in a closet. Since fat was the only bias that my parents and sister displayed and were totally accepting of any other differences I was not ashamed of bringing anyone home that I was dating and they were all large. Everyone noticed but nobody really mentioned it until one day my mother mentioned to me that all my girlfriends were fat and I thought for a moment and said, "Yes, they are, I date the girls I find attractive." Nothing was said about it past that point although I still catch crap about the health of my partners to this day.
> 
> All I really meant by my previous post was that if the home is accepting then the need to hide ones preference around family and a lot of the feelings of guilt or shame associated with ones sexual awareness running to the larger form is less likely to be there and the child can display their taste without reservation in the family setting before she / he moves out of the house.
> 
> ...




Lol, I was actually the one that pointed out my daughter's seemingly emerging preference to her, as well. But it was in a fun, boisterous kind of way...never negative. I think it's cute the way she always wants a guy to have some "pudge" in the middle


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## jester68 (Aug 4, 2009)

The "When" is always, or at least longer than I can remember. The "Who " was my aunt. Like someone said in an earlier post, I wasn't close to my parents but I had a lovely fat aunt who was very tactile and loving. I suppose that "model" imprinted itself on me at some point and i associated love, affection and, later, sex with fat women. I spent my teens and early 20's dating thin/average women but would always have to have a fat fantasy going on in my head in order to do the "deed", without it nothing much happened. Then in my late 20's I gave up on the thin women altogether.


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## Amandy (Aug 5, 2009)

ESPN Cutie said:


> *
> Throughout high school and college, I always knew there was something lacking sexually in my relationships but I couldn't figure out what it was. By my senior year in college, I had been in long term relationships and had casual hookups but never with a BHM. Up until that point, I had no size preferenece for the guys I dated. Yet, with all of these guys, there was ALWAYS something missing when it came to sex. With every single one of them. This led me to believe that my sex drive was off, or low or something. And it ruined most of these relationships.*



You = me; I though that I had something wrong with me re: sex until I realized that the bigger the better, so to speak.



ESPN Cutie said:


> *
> And that was it. I put together the "clues" from other things in my life and realized that fat turned me on sexually and without it, sex is pointless.*



Word. WORD.


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## BigFinchdog (Aug 5, 2009)

It was the spring dance. I was 9. The "fat girl" wanted to dance with me. I obliged. It was magical. There really isnt much else to it, I was too young to know anything other than what I felt.


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## Silver Fox (Aug 7, 2009)

I jsut stumbled onto this thread for the first time. I don't post very often, but I had often thought of writing on just this subject, so here goes.

I am currently 55 years old and I believe that I was born an FA. I also think that all FAs are born that way, but some take longer to discover it. In retrospect, my first inkling of my preference was when I got the first erection that I can recall from looking at a cartoon drawing of a SSBBW in a bathing suit that I saw when I was five years old. Next indicator was in 2nd grade. I had to go back to school for some reason one afternoon and when I did, I saw a little girl who had also come back but she had changed into some shorts. (Girls had to wear dresses to school back then!) The shorts were a bit small on her and she had a nice little tummy sticking out. I didn't really know why at the time, but I seemed to be very intrigued by the site of that chubby little girl in the too tight shorts. Don't really recall another instance until junior high (known as middle school now). By then, I was definitely interested in girls, and definitely preferred the fat ones. In 9th grade, I had a brief relationship with a plump girl that I met through a friend. Her father was in the Army and they moved away at the end of the school year. I did manage to rekindle a long distance relationship with her my senior year and went to see her during spring break. I saw her one more time when I was in the Marines and stationed near where she lived.

I dated another girl who could definitely be considered fat during my junior year. I'd say she probably weighed over 200, was kind of an hour glass shape and very pretty. I never made any bones about my attraction, and did take a little flack about it, but I never really let it bother me. I knew what I liked and that was all I cared about.

Since then I have had two failed marriages with BBWs, the second of which as far as appearance went was my ideal. She got up to 300 and was an incredibly sexy hour glass shape with the tripple threat of big boobs, butt and belly. But she was also incredibly psychotic! 

I am currently married to a wonderful woman who has steadily gained up to about 230 and is a nice pear shape with nice very thick legs! But all is not well. She has never been happy with her weight. Before we got married we had been in an on and off kind of relationships and during the last off period she went on a serious weight loss program and lost 50 pounds putting her around 150. We got back together and then decided to get married. As I expected and hoped, she gained it all back, most of it in the first year. She has gone on diets several times in the last 8 years, but I never worried much about it because I knew that it would most likely mean that she would gain it all back plus some. And that is how she got up to 230. 

She was just getting to a size that I could be satisfied with. Though I'd love for her to get a lot bigger, I could be perfectly happy with her at that size. But she is definitely not happy with her size. And so she has decided to get WLS. This is very upsetting to me and I am not sure what the ramifications of this will be. I know this post has wandered way off the original topic, but I guess I just need to let it out somewhere. I love her very much, but this, coupled with some basic phylosophical differences, make me wonder if staying married is the right thing for us. I know she wants to stay married.

And yes, she knows exactly what my preferences are. I have always made that very clear. I always tell her how beautiful and sexy she is. But she doesn't like being fat and after trying so hard for so long to lose weight, with the help of her parents (wonderful people, but... damn them!) she is getting the surgery next Wednesday. I have been so depressed about this. At this stage of my life and after two other divorces, I really don't want to go through another. And no, I would not divorce her _just_ because of the weight loss. As I said earlier, there are some serious fundamental phylosophical differences. It is difficult for me to envision spending the rest of my life with a skinny woman with whom I have this other lack of common ground. Other than those two things, though, we have a lot in common and are very well suited to each other personality wise. I guess I will just take it one day at a time. I think back to when we first got married when she only weighed around 160, and I would have to close my eyes and fantasize about her being a lot fatter in order to reach climax. Not looking forward to that again.

Well, sorry to have hijacked this thread. You all can get back on topic now.


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## roddles (Aug 8, 2009)

Silver Fox said:


> I jsut stumbled onto this thread for the first time. I don't post very often, but I had often thought of writing on just this subject, so here goes.
> 
> I am currently 55 years old and I believe that I was born an FA. I also think that all FAs are born that way, but some take longer to discover it. In retrospect, my first inkling of my preference was when I got the first erection that I can recall from looking at a cartoon drawing of a SSBBW in a bathing suit that I saw when I was five years old. Next indicator was in 2nd grade. I had to go back to school for some reason one afternoon and when I did, I saw a little girl who had also come back but she had changed into some shorts. (Girls had to wear dresses to school back then!) The shorts were a bit small on her and she had a nice little tummy sticking out. I didn't really know why at the time, but I seemed to be very intrigued by the site of that chubby little girl in the too tight shorts. Don't really recall another instance until junior high (known as middle school now). By then, I was definitely interested in girls, and definitely preferred the fat ones. In 9th grade, I had a brief relationship with a plump girl that I met through a friend. Her father was in the Army and they moved away at the end of the school year. I did manage to rekindle a long distance relationship with her my senior year and went to see her during spring break. I saw her one more time when I was in the Marines and stationed near where she lived.
> 
> ...



I agree on many accounts. In my experience, bbw's that i have dated have all been psychotic! I am still looking for that comfortable in her skin bbw. Also your comment about school girls in dresses - I remember how sexy a plump girl looked in her school dress quite vividly. One girl I was with liked roleplay and she used to squeeze inter her old school dress (which was a very tight fit) and that used to send me WILD lol anyway

I hope every thing goes well for you with your wife, fellow dimmer!


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## Gendo Ikari (Aug 12, 2009)

I guess the seeds were planted early on, very early on. When I was very young my favorite cartoon was Winnie the Pooh and the honey tree. The roundness of that bear and how he ate all the honey, got rounder, and stuck in the door really entertained me.

My elementary school days was spent on Nickelodeon and they had several cartoons that had weight gain episodes, Rugrats, Hey Arnold, Catdog, Doug, to name a few.

Anyways, at the end of the fifth grade we had a field trip to the lake. I was swimming and this classmate who was rather fat went into the water with a white t-shirt on.

Something clicked in my head at the time and I never forgot that.

During that summer a rerun of the Simpsons came on, King-Size Homer, in which Homer became 300 pounds by sheer gluttony. Later that night I couldn't get the thoughts of fatness and weight gain out of my head. So, I went to Ask Jeeves and put in "Weight Gain Stories" thinking, I wonder if that happened in real life. Dimensions Magazine weight room library was the first thing that popped up.

And it just snowballed after that.


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## Silver Fox (Aug 12, 2009)

My wife's surgery was today. My life sucks right now. She will probably lose at least 50 pounds in the next six months which wilol put her under 170. Who knows how much she will lose altogether. Well at least one of us will be happy... I hope!


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## mediaboy (Aug 13, 2009)

Threads like this make me ask myself; how did I get here, what I am doing here, what has become of me?

Its a strange thing, this fat admiration. As a child, I remember being mildly interested in fat people, in fat in general.

When I was in sixth grade I had a huge crush on the chubbiest girl in my grade. She had an adorable belly and was more curvaceous than most of the moms that frequented the school car pool.

Now that I am grown I sit amongst a community of like minded souls, some of whom are the sincerest and most amazing men and women I've ever known and I'm proud of it.

I've looked into fat girls eyes and told them they were beautiful and watched their hearts melt.

I've seen women become sensual creatures for the first time in their lives. Watched them realize they are beautiful. Their confidence as beautiful and natural as a lion weirs a mien. 

Christ, I could weep at the beauty I've seen in a fat girl's smile.


Do non FA's experience this?


I've eaten forbidden fruit, I've tasted ambrosia.

I've been in love with fat women for as long as I can remember and I'm not about to start doubting or apologizing; not now, not ever.


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## Wild Zero (Aug 14, 2009)

Bitten by a radioactive fat girl on a routine field trip.


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## The Orange Mage (Aug 14, 2009)

Wild Zero said:


> Bitten by a radioactive fat girl on a routine field trip.



You too?


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Aug 15, 2009)

mediaboy said:


> Threads like this make me ask myself; how did I get here, what I am doing here, what has become of me?
> 
> Its a strange thing, this fat admiration. As a child, I remember being mildly interested in fat people, in fat in general.
> 
> ...



Wow, yet another amazing post from you. What a truly rotten time to be out of rep :bow:


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## mediaboy (Aug 15, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Wow, yet another amazing post from you. What a truly rotten time to be out of rep :bow:



The work is a testament to the muse.


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## balletguy (Aug 19, 2009)

I think that the first time i had really great sex it was with a BBW, and ever since then I have been a FA


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## CherryRVA (Aug 20, 2009)

I was raised in a family of medium size and big people. I can't say that we ever really had anybody in the family who was rail thin. Sure, my mother went on diets alot and encouraged me to do so as well. I would dutifully try each new diet, always ending up bigger than I was before. I was constantly tormented at school by the yuppie scum***ks that went there. My solace was coming home and being around those people I loved, those people that wouldn't hurt me...bigger people.

When I started dating, it was with a couple of guys who I guess would be considered chubby. I remember I was always attracted to them, I just could never put my finger on why. After my first serious relationship was over, I ended up with a guy who I could honestly say started as a "friend with benefits". He was about 6ft tall and a little over 300lbs at the time. He was also 12 years older than me. On and off we hung out, for probably about a year or so. I would date people...skinny guys, as it seemed I was expected to. And those relationships never seemed to work out. The skinny guys always seemed so mean, so arrogant, so full of themselves. I never got along well with them....like I said, I was alot bigger at the time, so I also never felt like they had any inkling of what I went through in my everyday life. But there was always "my friend". He was at the time, what I considered to be the epitome of masculinity. I don't know why, but yeah, I have come to think of BHM as the absolute top of the maculinity heap. I really do. Nothing says masculine to me like tall, broad shoulders, big arms, thick wrists, big fingers...or as I have seen it put on here...hard muscles with this amazing layer of softness over them.

So, needless to say, I fell hard for this guy even though we were supposed to only be friends. And he rejected me....rightfully so, as I was 19 and he was 31. It never would've worked. We remain friends to this day....and yes, our significant others know about our past entanglement (it was 14 years ago).

But yeah, I still to this day joke with that man and say "You ruined me for skinny guys, you know..." Because after him, I really was hard pressed to find somebody who was like that....big and masculine. Seemed they all liked skinny chicks, so I could never find one. I found Dims and this place became my one true haven to be myself...a true FFA. I lurked for the longest time.

After dating a number of morons, dating/marrying/divorcing a short BHM who wasn't worth a darn, and getting rid of the WORST BHM I've ever been with in my life....I am still an FFA. I am with the most amazing understanding BHM ever. And this has truly become the best part of my life, cause he knows about it and I can finally, finally be me.....the FFA I always have been.


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## balletguy (Aug 20, 2009)

i grew up in a beach town and i just remember seeing so many great looking BBW's on the beach when i was young.


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## kingstreet23 (Aug 30, 2009)

oh me too i used to put pillows in my shirt too so i have been into bbw/ssbbw for as long as i can remember and just always want to findsomeone i can help can or that can help me but never hav4 still looking though just wanna big girl's belly and stuff to play withi mean a lot of the girls on here are pretty fun and interestinf to talk to then other girls


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## joswitch (Aug 30, 2009)

been an FA ever since I was v. young.. Like single digits young.. No particular experience triggered it that I can recall, seems to be genetic for me..


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## Scorsese86 (Sep 1, 2009)

Erm...
Since I started noticing girls? I think. Always found the 'bigger' girls the most attractive ones.


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## Tau (Sep 1, 2009)

mediaboy said:


> Threads like this make me ask myself; how did I get here, what I am doing here, what has become of me?
> 
> Its a strange thing, this fat admiration. As a child, I remember being mildly interested in fat people, in fat in general.
> 
> ...



:wubu: Gorgeous post.


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## Jon Blaze (Sep 2, 2009)

My story is very very long (And this still isn't the whole thing), so I'll tell it in parts.

Circa 1999... In JapWn lol

At 12 I already had an idea of what I liked at the time. I was into thin girls, and was all about breasts and butt, and I would occasionally find slightly thicker girls attractive. 

There wasn't any real changes until there was this girl I knew that at that time I would consider thicker than my average range. Some friends introduced me to her, and I thought she was gorgeous. She technically appealed to what I was into though. She was a thick hourglass, with long dirty blond hair, tan skin, and a gorgeous face. A really popular girl, that was attractive to most of the people in school. I had severe self esteem issues at the time though, so I never really acted on it, but it did give me my first thoughts of "Widening my range."

Later in the year in band class I met the other girl that wasn't the first to make me wonder, but she was the one that really sent me on a ride.

I was in band. Now I didn't know this girl at all before this moment, but some of the other band members noticed her shape was sort of "Odd" to them.
One day we were at an after school practice (I remember it was before Christmas of 2000), and one of the guys that set next to me a few chairs down (Because I was always really sharp, which gave me bonus points lol) really thought her shape was weird.

He told me that he wanted me to go over to her, and ask her why she had such an odd shape.

It's still hard hard to describe. She's not an apple, but she has a large tummy with bigger boobs (And I later found some butt, albeit less in comparison) to go with it. **

Anyways: I refused his request, and then he said:
"If you don't go over there and ask, I'm going to tell her that YOU asked why she's shaped so weird." I refused again, and he went up and asked after practice, and I had to deal with her crying in my face.

(No worries. I railed him for the next two years until I left. :bow

After that I realized that I did find her attractive. Initially I thought "Not bad," but then I started looking at thicker girls around her size and some popped up that I found attractive.

But things worsened by Christmas, I felt like a tool because of the whole thing. She just continued to hate me more and more, and I continued feeling worse about the whole thing, and about myself. That's when the whole "I'm a freak" complex kicked in. I was already a wreck in regards to self esteem. It just made things worse.

Then it started becoming known to some. My parents found out the hard way, and while my mom was pissed at the actions I was doing, my step father was pissed at that and because they were too big for his taste. So he really railed on me.

Then two of my friends caught me in my room on a computer. I didn't tell them they could come over: They were just in our house and found what I was looking at.

One of them was (And still is) indifferent despite it not being his thing. The other thought it was hilarious, disgusting, and weird, so he turned it into dirt he had on me (Which is odd considering a lot of our friends would make fun of him for being kinda big).

2000 rolled around, I still felt the same. "What's wrong with me? There's no one else like me!!" That's all I thought.

My friend who had the "Dirt" continued to blackmail me (I.e. Once I jokingly took his wallet; "Give it back or else!" "Or else what?" "*Whispers* Fat chicks!!!") UNTIL.... lol

**( I found out recently she's still shaped like that too, but with bigger boobs. Sometimes I think that shape is sort of my "Bread 'n' butta" lol)


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## Jon Blaze (Sep 2, 2009)

UNTIL... lol
One day he went to my house to just chat and so forth. He mentioned this game he played on newgrounds.com where you take off ms paint clothes that are shown as if they are real on women.
At the end, the last girl is a fat chick (Complete with shrieks if you decided to do it ) 

He told me that he did think I was a freak, but that the whole thing made him realize that he finds big women attractive too, because he thought she was hot. So then we collaborated for a moment (Me showing my little stash of like.. 30 pictures, with a range of 250-500 ), and it made us closer friends. **

So I converted someone. That made me think "Well apparently I'm not alone...."

But after that I just continued going about everything privately. That's around the time I started finding out more people like me existed (And not in a freakish way) through my friend the internet.

My confidence made its first rise when I started Soccer, Tae Kwon Do, and then kickboxing. The more I improved, the more I thought I was hot shit, but I ended that year still keeping it private.

Summer and 8th grade didn't bring me any changes really. I still wasn't very confident in myself, my abilities (Though I did feel better), my appearance and so on. I was still considered unattractive and awkward by most as well, so I never felt I had any chances with anyone.

There was one girl that I really had interest in minus the girl that I hurt. 5'1", 160, thick pear-shaped, tan, red-haired latina. MADRE DE DIOS!!! :wubu: lol 

But I failed at getting a chance miserably unfortunately. We stayed good friends, however.

That year, the girl I hurt and I ended up becoming friends, and that was really it. It still didn't quite soak to a very wide degree. The girls that I had a preference for at that time were still "Mid sized," or just thick. In fact, I found the biggest girl in our middle school unattractive at that time. (But I wasn't a shit bag closet case that year: Just a closet case, so I did not say a word)  

9th grade rolled around. I was still in the closet, but the wide range still wasn't there. 

There was two girls that I was interested in:
This British-American girl who would pass as thick. Hourglass with legs as powerful as mine at time! lol

This American girl that was legitimately big per my standards and the people around me. She was a sort of figure 8 shape, and had decent amount of tummy. 

I was friends with both, but neither of them liked me, so I continued staying closeted and restless.

Then I left and arrived in Guam. Lots of eye candy. lol :smitten:

As the new guy, I gathered some popularity. It eventually waned, but I actually got a girlfriend after being there a little bit. About my height ( 5'5"-5'7", I'm not really sure), and 160 give or take. She reminded somewhat of that American girl I was trying to date before, and she asked me out, so I was all for it at the time.

At that moment it's hard for me to say where I was because I would go around, hold her hand, and everything, but I think I would beat around the bush if someone asked me straight up if I liked big women. I still didn't have the confidence.

Shortly thereafter I broke up with her (I forget why right now).


(** It's been about a year since I've spoken to him, but last I checked, I made him a crosstrainer, and he still is one, generally going for mid sized/thick women.)


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## Jon Blaze (Sep 2, 2009)

Nothing over the summer happened. I was still not very confident, and I stopped practicing martial arts for some time. 

10th grade was another year that started really bad. I was still getting taller, but I was still somewhat big, and I thought I wasn't good enough for anyone. My confidence dropped, and with that came my grades dropping as well. This also became my shitbag closet case phase, where I actually insulted someone for being fat.

Then I started martial arts again, my confidence went up fast, and I became really fit. One thing I remember is even though at the time I couldn't breakdance beyond a basic six step and a little groundwork, or do any high flying Capoeira moves, I had a mean side split, so I was known for that. People would ask me to do that a lot. lol 

After Christmas that year, my grades made the same shift upward. I built so much aggression and diligence that it applied over to my assignments. Some of my peers even thought I was kinda smart eventually. 

There was one girl that I particularly insulted bad for being fat. She's 5'8 and I would say... 220-260 at that time? 

I was a dick to her when I was in my "I suck" phase. Eventually we became friends though, as well as her 6'1 230-270 pound Irish friend whom I thought was attractive as well.

One day I just met her randomly and we were hangin' out. a car went by and she flipped her shirt (I think it was a slipknot shirt [SHE'S THE REASON I FUCKING LIKE METAL! Along with Rob Zombie's "Superbeast" and Anthrax and Public Enemy "Bring the noise" lol]) to sort of flash the car. Haha. You know what I did. I was steady gawking. lol

(I recently apologized to her for my assholery too)

That was the awakening I think because the women I was surrounded by weren't generally as big as the biggest women that I would look at online for example. That started the true range extending both in reality and fantasy.

It also generally awakened my preferences, because they sort of dwindled. There were a few girls I knew that were kinda big but mostly busty (One extremely busty) that I thought were awesome, but that was it along with other people that didn't really matter.

My confidence hit a peak at that time when I got my fastest 1.5 mile run (Before I went to basic training and shaved a few more seconds): 8:49. At that time, I had enough confidence to where I could see myself as "An average guy."

I went single that year though.

Then my junior year rolled around. I was doing pretty good. Still making progression in martial arts and doing well in school.

But my time in Guam was nearly up.


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## Jon Blaze (Sep 2, 2009)

So junior year. I was 16 at the time, and through it all I could finally say that I was starting to break the boards of the closet.

My preferences continued to extend more in both directions (To my happiness  ), and it got down to five girls that year: 

One that wasn't very big at all, but had a little extra.

One girl that was a senior who was short and curvy with a little extra.

Two girls that were tall, chubby, and hot.

- One of the biggest girls in our school. A Spanish girl I met in 10 grade. INSANELY gorgeous. Gorgeous face, with a lovely pear shape. Saintly. Hoh my god. lol 

No one asked me until about two months before I left in November of 2003.

Two of my friends (Both big and curvy [One of which I later found out liked me :doh:]) just randomly brought the topic up one day. 

We were at our school bus stop, and the conversation just sort of jumped to it.

It got a little steamy when she sat on my lap. Again: You know what happened. "Down! Down boy!" lol 

I admitted it. But the way I said it had them sort of confused. I said something about boobs and big women, and they took it as I said "Big women are like big boobs."

My friends accepted it, but I think they thought I might have been a weirdo. They were good friend with that Spanish girl I was talking about, and they told her.

She was PISSED! She hated me so much after that, and to top it off her boyfriend at that time (Someone I tried being friends with, then rivals, then enemies) just added to the whole thing. A lot of people in our school found out, and I had no problem at the time with them knowing, but that comment about boobs came out, and a lot of the bigger girls gave me a most evil face.

I was mortified. 

My confidence dropped dramatically from that whole thing, and it got so bad that my sister (Who was friends with my two friends and the Spanish girl) hated what she did to me, and they stopped being friends, despite it being a grave misunderstanding.

I left Guam never apologizing and making up for it, but I thought I could start over in Florida.

I arrived in Florida to be given somewhat positive treatment for being the new guy from Guam (Which some people found interesting). Eventually I started to see that a lot of my friends from Japan and Guam arrived in Florida as well. I even met someone in my English class that I went to MIDDLE SCHOOL with in Japan who I graduated with. That extremely busty girl? Five weeks in I found her working at a movie theater. Got her number. YES! 

I got positive feedback that whole year, and I met someone I was interested in. A curvy Mexican girl that was thin, but surely impressed me in many ways both physically and mentally.

I told her that I wanted to date her, but she didn't like me in that way, so I accepted it, and stayed single that year.

-Senior year! My confidence wasn't at its peak, but it was enough, and I had been out for awhile. 

A month before my 17th birthday, A girl I met the year before was newly single. We suddenly started talking.

She was my bread 'n' butta as far as shape went. Very busty, a big tummy, and a butt that was comparatively small. 

On my 17th birthday, the test came. lol
She asked me out, and one of my thin friends asked me out at the party. 
Now I did pick her over my thin friend, but it was mainly because we were already talking, and my other friend just popped the comment at me in the pool.

More confidence arose from that, but it was short lived, and I broke it off quickly.

My friend then retaliated in response to what I did. She told a lot of people at school that I like big women. Some people started to asked, and I'd always tell the truth (With some clarification needed at times) much to her surprise and others. :bow:

I was single from August until March. By then I was doing well in school, met a few other girls I found attractive that all said no lol, and just kept going with the flow.

That's when I met my last ex. A Puerto Rican chica with big EVERYTHING (And is the biggest woman I've ever dated; 5'6" and between 210-250), a gorgeous face, lovely hair, and she was a bit older than me. It all started when she saw the flag on my class ring. Then we just started talking.

I knew I liked her, so I worked for the last months of my senior year building a friendship base. We had fun at our prom, and she gave me her number after I called her gorgeous on our after graduation cruise.

I called a few weeks down the road, and we went on a date. It worked out well, and we started dating afterward.

It became my longest and most satisfying relationship to date. But that's not saying much considering it was only from June-September, but I'll work with what I've had.


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## Jon Blaze (Sep 2, 2009)

That's most of it. I've been single for a long time, and I still lack severely in experience, but through this whole thing I've become more in tune with myself, and have been truthful about it for years. 

Some added notes:

1. The girl with the slipknot shirt? I made amends with her a few months ago (See the apologies thread; That's her). We are still friends.

2. I recently caught back up with the Spanish girl, apologized, and explained everything. We're friends again. 

3. I found the first girl I hurt, and am now trying to apologize as well.


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## missy_blue_eyez (Sep 3, 2009)

Awwwww I love this thread!


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Sep 3, 2009)

I have always liked all different types of women but I have not always been an FA. Here is my story.

My mom is a smaller tall bbw. Several of my cousins are bbws. My paternal grandmother was a bbw. 

Something clicked insid of me when my dad dated 2 bbws while he was separated from my stepmother. I was in middle school at the time.

I did not start to notice bbws until high school. And then when I was 18, I discovered Rikki Lake. I had a real crush on Rikki Lake. Several years later, I had a crush on one of my graduate school professors, who was a bbw.

One of my best friends is a BHM and both of his parents are large people. I think that had a positive effect on my development.

The thing that brought me into FAdom was one special winter night in January or February of 2000. I was dancing at the Baja Beach Club in downtown Baltimore when I saw a really cute BBW. I asked her to dance and we did a nice grind. Jennifer was a good looking woman and her body was so soft. 

I didn't start dating BBWs until after I discovered how to meet women on the internet. That was in early 2000.


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Sep 3, 2009)

Mini said:


> Sue, what Jes is saying is that just about every one of your posts in the history of ever has contained the fact that you're:
> 
> A) Tall.
> B) Fat.
> ...



Chill, dude. Sue loves her husband and I enjoy reading her stories about her experiences with him. She is a very confident person and I feel inspired by reading her stories.If Sue wants to be repetitive, it's fine with me.


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Sep 3, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I won't disagree with this because that's my original assumption about her.
> 
> However......how do you explain people with the preference that grew up in fatphobic homes?
> 
> ...



I grewa up in a fatphobic home. My mom is very disparaging to fat people. Of course, I'm somewhat of a maverick, so go figure.


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## missy_blue_eyez (Sep 3, 2009)

Mini said:


> Sue, what Jes is saying is that just about every one of your posts in the history of ever has contained the fact that you're:
> 
> A) Tall.
> B) Fat.
> ...


Dude, I have to say, I like you, but even for you, that post sucked! Get a heart! Lol!


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## bbw_lover_86 (Sep 5, 2009)

roddles said:


> I was thinking today how I became FA and I thought it would be interesting to share and see how other people relate to this.
> 
> I guess it stems from when I was young, I was a small bit chubby, and I hated it. I felt like every one was staring at me. I was dreadfully embarassed even though I wasn't really fat I just thought I was I guess this made me respect fat people alot and this grew into curiosity. My Dad was somewhat Anti fat and often pointed at fat people and remarked. I don't know weather he was a fat admirer of sorts him self, I will never know. If he was he certainly was not going to show it. I gues this is how it started. I used to stuff pillows under my pyjamas when I was little to feel what it was like to be fat. later it grew into a turn on!
> 
> So thats mine anyway I would be interested if others are similar




You have described exactly how I started!!! I use to stuff my pj's and pretend I was fat and that grow into a turn on but I started finding chubby women attractive and my attraction grow and grow and as did the women who turned me on! And my attraction to ssbbw's all started when I came across kelligrl and now I am a full on ssbbw lover


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## ESPN Cutie (Sep 5, 2009)

*Throughout high school/college I dated average sized (thin or muscular) guys. Now, I always found these guys attractive because I believe a good looking man is a good looking man, regardless of size. Yet, sexually, there was ALWAYS something missing in these relationships but I wasn't quite sure what it was. There was no sexual attraction or interest on my part in any of these relationships. Eventually, I began to think that there was something wrong with me and that I just didn't have much of a sex drive or interest in sex. Basically, I dated good-looking guys but was never sexually satisfied (although the guys were getting what they needed).

Anyway, overtime, my boyf gained some weight and I REALLY liked it. In fact, I REALLY loved it and wanted him to gain more. His weight gain also raised my sex drive/interest in having sex with him. This caused everything to "click" for me and I realized that many other things that I had never really thought twice about blantantly pointed to the fact that I was attracted to big guys. 

So I got to the point where I knew that sex would never be satisfying for me if the guy wasn't big. And that's where I'm at now.*


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## lovesgaininggirls (Oct 14, 2009)

We had a two flat in Chicago. I was about 15 when a couple rented the downstairs as an apartment. As it turns out, the wife just found out she was pregnant. I'd guess she stood about 5'5" tall and probably weighed no more than 115 pounds. I don't know if it was the pregnancy all by itself or a lot of little Polish ladies preparing the lady extra special meals but over the nine or so months, she must have put on at least 100 pounds. I thought she was attractive when she moved in but when she fattened up so dramatically, I was in a perpetual state of arousal. Of course, this is natural for 15 year olds, but I don't think I was supposed to get turned on by a 5'5" 215 pregnant lady. It was from that period in my life on that I knew it was the big round belly for me!!


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## xysoseriousx (Jul 1, 2010)

When was the time you first noticed that you were attracted to Big Beautiful Women, or Big Handsome Men, both physically, emotionally, and sexually? :smitten:


Mine was this girl that was in my class when I was in seventh grade. One time at a party, we had a game, and I had to be locked in a closet with her for 10 minutes. We started making out, and I started feeling her and stuff, and I guess I liked her big boobs, fat, stomach, ass, and curves. (Sorry, I'm a guy) Since then I went out with her for two years, tried to make her bigger, but she dumped me for that, , but now she is big big, and whenever I see her I am jealous of her possibly being my wife.


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## xysoseriousx (Jul 2, 2010)

When did it strike you that you didn't like skinny girls or guys?



I never really ever felt any attraction to skinny girls.


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## Stevej69 (Dec 1, 2010)

Well I think I realized I liked the bigger women when I saw Teighlor on the cover of Buf. The picture layout of her on the weight bench. Hooked ever since. Pretty sure that came out in 1989 or 1990.


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## natepogue (Dec 2, 2010)

I was noticing women like Jennifer Lopez and other celebrity women who had larger figures/breasts/rear. After being aroused from that for the first few years of my pubescent life, I stumbled upon Bigcuties and from there it was fucking history!


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## The Dude (Dec 3, 2010)

When? Hard to pinpoint...

I do remember, somewhere in the ether of childhood, having dreamt of a girl who swelled up. I woke up with this strange, yet excited feeling. My wee-wee was hard and I had to do a handstand to go to the bathroom that morning!

Flash forward a few years...

As a teenager, I found that the "hot girls" were not the ones I was interested in... I always had my eye on the chubby girl... or the geeky girl... or best of all, the chubby geeky girl!

The one time I had the courage to confess this to anyone, I was merciliessly ridiculed about it for the best part of 2 years. Kids can be cruel. No wonder I don't talk to anyone from high school anymore.

Three things I remember during my period of sexual awakening were -

1) There was a Volkswagen ad featuring a young couple. The ad flashed through a few scenes and then showed them older. The woman (yes, I know it was a different actress, but blah!) had gained a lot of weight and I found this hugely arousing. I think it might have been the first time I... *ahem*

2) When Anna Nicole Smith appeared in that blue dress. Yeah, she was sloppy as hell, but my god she was hot. I'd always appreciated her chest, but found her persona and appearance irritating. At that size she became somewhat of a fertility goddess to me.

3) When Alicia Machado gained that bit of weight after becoming Miss Universe. I thought she was much more attractive with the weight, and the for the first time a little voice came into my head saying "Y'Know, I think she'd actually look better bigger..."

It was actually via that that I stumbled upon Dimensions for the first time...


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## HayleeRose (Dec 3, 2010)

Seeing these threads and seeing everyone say how young they were always makes me wonder if there was a boy in my class with some secret admiration for me, cause I have been a big girl my whole life. Then I think, "WHY DIDN'T HE HIT ME UP!" I always wonder why most FA's hide it, especially through school.


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## The Dude (Dec 3, 2010)

HayleeRose said:


> Seeing these threads and seeing everyone say how young they were always makes me wonder if there was a boy in my class with some secret admiration for me, cause I have been a big girl my whole life. Then I think, "WHY DIDN'T HE HIT ME UP!" I always wonder why most FA's hide it, especially through school.



There were probably plenty of boys who did.

In my case, I hid it because I knew the hell I'd catch from everyone else for admitting that I liked someone who was big.

"Out of all the girls in the school, you want to be with HER?"

I didn't have the strength of character at the time to face possible rejection (which at that kind of age is the biggest thing in the world, particularly for someone with social anxiety!) as well as exposing my "deviant" preferences for everyone else to see.

Eventually, I DID get the courage up to ask a girl I'd been crushing on HEAVILY for sometime. The result - my fears were completely realised. She rejected me (but did so in a kind and gentle manner) and I was harrassed mercilessly. Ended up even more depressed than I already was and dropped out of school a short time after. It screwed me up for a long time.


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## The Orange Mage (Dec 3, 2010)

HayleeRose said:


> Seeing these threads and seeing everyone say how young they were always makes me wonder if there was a boy in my class with some secret admiration for me, cause I have been a big girl my whole life. Then I think, "WHY DIDN'T HE HIT ME UP!" I always wonder why most FA's hide it, especially through school.



I was too scared of rejection at that point, but also the fear that the cute, fat girl in question will be horrified that I actually LIKE her fat body.

Only the first fear has gone away.


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## Tad (Dec 3, 2010)

HayleeRose said:


> Seeing these threads and seeing everyone say how young they were always makes me wonder if there was a boy in my class with some secret admiration for me, cause I have been a big girl my whole life. Then I think, "WHY DIDN'T HE HIT ME UP!" I always wonder why most FA's hide it, especially through school.



One of my big regrets is that I never let the chubby girls I was crushing on have any clue of my feelings (at least, never deliberately, who knows how well they could read me?).

But you know what, there were a couple of thinner girls I was crushing on too, and I never gave them a clue either. To admit you were interested in _any _particular girl was just to make yourself vulnerable....see, I also had no clue if any girls found me interesting at all. 

I hadn't yet realized that somebody had to take a chance and make the first move, and the fear of rejection/failure/humiliation was way higher than any positive feelings I had associated with things working out (not having dated, I wasn't quite sure what it would be like and how I'd like it, so it was kind of an uncertain reward).


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## natepogue (Dec 3, 2010)

HayleeRose said:


> Seeing these threads and seeing everyone say how young they were always makes me wonder if there was a boy in my class with some secret admiration for me, cause I have been a big girl my whole life. Then I think, "WHY DIDN'T HE HIT ME UP!" I always wonder why most FA's hide it, especially through school.



well if you went to school in Beaverton then I would have definitely been that boy


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## KHayes666 (Dec 3, 2010)

HayleeRose said:


> Seeing these threads and seeing everyone say how young they were always makes me wonder if there was a boy in my class with some secret admiration for me, cause I have been a big girl my whole life. Then I think, "WHY DIDN'T HE HIT ME UP!" I always wonder why most FA's hide it, especially through school.



In my case I simply didn't know until I tried it. My friend got fat in between the end of my junior year and the beginning of my senior year and for whatever reason I found her absolutely gorgeous. I'd never found a larger girl attractive before that moment and its been a different story ever since.

The problem is, once you realize you're an F/A....then you also find out that not every fat girl is going to like how they look no matter how hot you find them. You either find out the hard way like me or you gradually learn from keeping your mouth shut and ears open.


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## iglooboy55 (Dec 4, 2010)

i watched maury once. luls.


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## HayleeRose (Dec 5, 2010)

Ok, I get where you all are coming from with the whole rejection thing and social stigmas. Thats pretty much what I assumed the reasons would be, but I thought I would ask..





natepogue said:


> well if you went to school in Beaverton then I would have definitely been that boy



Nope, no Beaverton schools, sadly I went to school in S.e portland. =/


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## CastingPearls (Dec 5, 2010)

HayleeRose said:


> Seeing these threads and seeing everyone say how young they were always makes me wonder if there was a boy in my class with some secret admiration for me, cause I have been a big girl my whole life. Then I think, "WHY DIDN'T HE HIT ME UP!" I always wonder why most FA's hide it, especially through school.


I'm finding out now, through the 'miracle' of Facebook that there were a lot of boys I went to school with that liked me but were too shy to say anything. I'm FB friends with quite a few now.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 7, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> I'm finding out now, through the 'miracle' of Facebook that there were a lot of boys I went to school with that liked me but were too shy to say anything. I'm FB friends with quite a few now.



My own experience hasn't been so nice. I had a guy that was a couple of grades behind me friend me on FB. I kind of remembered him and was quite surprised because I didn't really know him that well. 

He messaged me a few times on FB and told me that he had had a crush on me back in school. He then went on to mention that we should meet for a drink. I asked about his wife....there are a bunch of pics of them getting married on his page. He said she might not like it but wanted to meet me anyway. 

Crikey.

Needless to say, we have not met for that drink.


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## Fat Brian (Dec 7, 2010)

He certainly is Mr. Smooth isn't he.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Dec 11, 2010)

i think it all started in middle-school for me.i would always be more attracted to the bigger girls in the school while everyone else wanted the cheerleaders and such.i would go like "man she is so freakin hot" saying that to my freinds about a big girl and my freinds would give me that "WTF" look but i didn't care...


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## Adrian (Dec 12, 2010)

I first noticed that I liked "girls of size" when I entered kindergarten! That is when I first encountered boys from other neighborhoods. I saw most of them did not like girls in kindergarten who were chubby. In the neighborhood I lived in, to say something negative against fat woman, would be talking derogatory about someone's grandmother, mother, sister, aunt, etc. None of the other boys would tolerate that. Anti-fat talk was new to me and my friends. But, while there were boys who did not like chubby girls, I was open about my preference and I remained that way. It was my way of being a maverick.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Dec 12, 2010)

Adrian said:


> I first noticed that I liked "girls of size" when I entered kindergarten! That is when I first encountered boys from other neighborhoods. I saw most of them did not like girls in kindergarten who were chubby. In the neighborhood I lived in, to say something negative against fat woman, would be talking derogatory about someone's grandmother, mother, sister, aunt, etc. None of the other boys would tolerate that. Anti-fat talk was new to me and my friends. But, while there were boys who did not like chubby girls, I was open about my preference and I remained that way. It was my way of being a maverick.



i had a BBW girlfreind in 2nd Grade and didn't even realized she was a BBW cause i was unaware of the term at the time.:huh:


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## Adrian (Dec 12, 2010)

If you are in your forties or higher (like me), the term did not exist when you were younger. If younger, the situation would have to be out of the ordinary, otherwise it is not something most boys in their primary grade would notice.


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## ThinkingFA (Dec 19, 2010)

So I'll summarize. My first experience, if you will, was being slapped by my mom for staring at a fat woman in a grocery store. I was about five or six, so I was too young to recognize it as attraction. I just remember being transfixed.

Now that I can look back on it, I can see most of the crushes I had were on chubby girls. I even had inflation fantasies about a couple of them. At that time ABC still ran a series called "After School Specials." I remember one called "Dinky Hocker" about a girl with a food addiction. I developed a life-long crush on the star, Wendi Jo Sperber, who sadly died young from breast cancer.

I was just plain hot for my enormous bus driver in eighth grade. My first fantasies were in ninth grade for a girl I'll call R. She had flaming red hair, was really kind of trashy and not the slightest bit pretty; but still she came to me in my dreams. I can remember having to do physicals during health class. Word that R weighed 300 pounds spread like wildfire. And while I made fun of her, like every other guy, secretly I fantasized about her. We had a pool, and I wondered what it would be like to swim naked with her - what she would feel like, what it would be like to be next to her. it was with R that I started to understand that this was what I wanted.

There was also a girl at my bus stop, M, who I had similar fantasies of. The other guys on the bus used to razz whoever got "stuck" sitting with the fat girl. I used to hope for it and loved the feeling of her ample hip pressed up against me. Social pressure held me back from asking her out.

As time went by, I would date progressively fatter girls, but not the ones I was starting realize I wanted. One girl and I even dabbled in feeding before I knew it had a name. At the time, my dream girl was on a Rockshots card I'd sneak a look at in the Spencer's Gift store. On the front was a woman with a wild mane of black hair. She had on zebra striped spandex pants and a white t-shirt. She was soaking wet, and the copy on the inside read, "She's big, she's wet, she's hot, she's yours!" I only wished, but she defined the size I wanted.

After college I was determined not to settle for less than what I wanted. I had even toyed with placing a personal ad looking for someone that was at least 250. About that time I met the woman who would become my wife of 20 years. She was only 220, but I thought she was too beautiful to miss out on. She also had a great deal of confidence.

She wasn't the first I told about my fat preferences. She also wasn't the first to not think I was weird for it, though the handful of people I have told about usually did think that. It worked for her for a long time. She was 240 when we got married and 299 when our daughter was conceived. At one point she'd gotten to 330. We played with feeding a few times, but it never did for her what it did for me. She just preferred to eat whatever and whenever she wanted without forcing the issue. Weight gain just happened naturally, and she knew I was happy with it. 

So yes, the signs were there when I was younger. I just didn't always recognize them. I didn't have any great "coming out" experience, and I don't think it's even close to being gay. Sure society thinks it's weird. But our predilection doesn't carry anywhere near the social stigma of homosexuality. Saying that, it did take me a lot of years to get comfortable with it. The thing I realized is that it doesn't matter what others think, not because what they think doesn't matter, but because people are too busy thinking about themselves to think about me. Knowing this is very freeing, and it empowers you in whatever choices you make.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Dec 19, 2010)

Adrian said:


> If you are in your forties or higher (like me), the term did not exist when you were younger. If younger, the situation would have to be out of the ordinary, otherwise it is not something most boys in their primary grade would notice.




yeah im 24 now so in 2nd grade i must have been like 7? 8? lol.but here is a good question though,i wonder who was the very first person to use the term BBW? now that is something to think about...


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## Fat Brian (Dec 19, 2010)

I didn't learn about the whole FA thing and the SA community until I was already married to the fat women of my choosing. I knew what I liked but I didn't know there were whole sites devoted to it.


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## patmcf (Dec 19, 2010)

I remember being relatively oblivious of my attraction to larger women until my teenage years. I somehow came across bigcuties.com and enlightenment followed. God bless the internet.


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