# Stretch Marks (and why I should like them)



## Kbbig (May 3, 2010)

Considered all the forums to post this in, and went with the vaguest section.

I have been chubby my whole life and didn't realize how "unusual" it is to be plump until maybe 13 or 14. Around this time I developed the only stretch marks I have, 4 or 5 vertical lines on my love handles. Slowly, I have learned to looooove my belly and, more recently, my moobs (god, I hate that word though). Anyways, the sole thing preventing me from liking having my shirt off in public would be those silver lines on my hips. They just seem so ... unnatural. I know via various other stretch mark related threads I have read that the overwhelming majority of people do not like their marks at all. The most common reason I see for someone liking them would be that they are "battle wounds". Maybe for pregnant women, but in my opinion, getting fat is the opposite of a battle, and stretch marks are just a weird side effect. The point of this post is that I need to learn to accept all of me, and that will be closer to complete with my accepting or even liking my stretch marks. Why, you lovely people, should I love my stretch marks?


----------



## Nutty (May 3, 2010)

I had stretch marks, but that was from lifting


----------



## KittyKitten (May 3, 2010)

Kbbig said:


> Considered all the forums to post this in, and went with the vaguest section.
> 
> I have been chubby my whole life and didn't realize how "unusual" it is to be plump until maybe 13 or 14. Around this time I developed the only stretch marks I have, 4 or 5 vertical lines on my love handles. Slowly, I have learned to looooove my belly and, more recently, my moobs (god, I hate that word though). Anyways, the sole thing preventing me from liking having my shirt off in public would be those silver lines on my hips. They just seem so ... unnatural. I know via various other stretch mark related threads I have read that the overwhelming majority of people do not like their marks at all. The most common reason I see for someone liking them would be that they are "battle wounds". Maybe for pregnant women, but in my opinion, getting fat is the opposite of a battle, and stretch marks are just a weird side effect. The point of this post is that I need to learn to accept all of me, and that will be closer to complete with my accepting or even liking my stretch marks. Why, you lovely people, should I love my stretch marks?



You don't have to love them, they are just there--a part of life. Like sun moles on the skin, cellulite, faint wrinkles etc. Anyone can get stretch marks either from gaining or losing weight. Just accept them.


----------



## Kbbig (May 3, 2010)

happyface83 said:


> You don't have to love them, they are just there--a part of life. Like sun moles on the skin, cellulite, faint wrinkles etc. Anyone can get stretch marks either from gaining or losing weight. Just accept them.



Okay, maybe I can't love them, but how would I accept them? I know they are "just there", but moles and wrinkles are to be expected. Stretch marks ... not so much.


----------



## KittyKitten (May 3, 2010)

Kbbig said:


> Okay, maybe I can't love them, but how would I accept them? I know they are "just there", but moles and wrinkles are to be expected. Stretch marks ... not so much.



You just have to accept them as a part of you. Most everyone has them due to puberty or natural weight gain and weight loss. I have some near my armpits and I am fine with them.


----------



## Kbbig (May 3, 2010)

happyface83 said:


> You just have to accept them as a part of you. Most everyone has them due to puberty or natural weight gain and weight loss. I have some near my armpits and I am fine with them.



Thank you for your responses, and I'm glad you accept yours, but I want something a little deeper than "you just need to accept them". I am talking specifically about belly marks, and these I feel are very hard to have in plain sight of other folks.


----------



## Keb (May 3, 2010)

Kbbig said:


> Thank you for your responses, and I'm glad you accept yours, but I want something a little deeper than "you just need to accept them". I am talking specifically about belly marks, and these I feel are very hard to have in plain sight of other folks.



Honestly, something like that, unless you're a celebrity being torn to bits by the tabloids, isn't likely to be noticed by most people. If it registers, it's really unlikely that anyone will run screaming from the room over it. Most people are very self-conscious about their own bodies (and their own work) and far more critical of themselves than others. Our personal flaws are magnified by our brains, and the people you are talking to are probably obsessing over their flaws instead of criticizing yours most of the time.

If you go up to people and go "OMG, I'm so sorry you had to be exposed to my imperfect skin!", they just -might- notice. And back away slowly. But if you treat it as normal (which it is), it's really unlikely anyone will pay attention to them at all. 

If you're really bothered by them, I suppose you could see a dermatologist to see if something could be done to make them less visible. If you do something like that, though, it'll be for your own peace of mind--the rest of us will totally recover from having our eyes exposed to a bit of your natural flesh. 

(I'm not saying people never criticize others for their flaws--the internet proves otherwise every 2 seconds--but so much of the time it's to cover the critic's own insecurities, not because they were genuinely offended by whatever they are criticizing.)

Incidentally, I have a medium-sized red birthmark on my hand that seems pretty obvious. I mean, I do lots with my hand. People shake it, see it, etc. Sometimes people have known me for -years- before they actually register the mark, and ask whether I got burned or something. It always makes me laugh, because to me it seems so out there. (I do have some affection for the mark, though, which makes it a little different from a feature that you don't like about yourself. My mother was terrified when I was born that I would try to hide it and be ashamed of it, as a friend of hers did by wearing a glove all the time. Seems to me more people would wonder why I was wearing a glove than freak out over my little birthmark!)


----------



## CastingPearls (May 3, 2010)

A lot of thin people DO get stretch marks too. Many girls, as their breasts develop get them.

I have real scars from an illness, some large. I view them as a tattoo and memento of surviving and beating what could easily have killed me. No human body is perfect and blemish-free. I'm not necessarily proud of them but I'm certainly not ashamed of them.


----------



## t3h_n00b (May 4, 2010)

they make you look like a tiger. they're greeeeeaaaaaattt. 

I like stretch marks and they are frequently found on plus sized women. Perhaps its somewhat Pavlovian.


----------



## olwen (May 4, 2010)

Kbbig said:


> Considered all the forums to post this in, and went with the vaguest section.
> 
> I have been chubby my whole life and didn't realize how "unusual" it is to be plump until maybe 13 or 14. Around this time I developed the only stretch marks I have, 4 or 5 vertical lines on my love handles. Slowly, I have learned to looooove my belly and, more recently, my moobs (god, I hate that word though). Anyways, the sole thing preventing me from liking having my shirt off in public would be those silver lines on my hips. They just seem so ... unnatural. I know via various other stretch mark related threads I have read that the overwhelming majority of people do not like their marks at all. The most common reason I see for someone liking them would be that they are "battle wounds". Maybe for pregnant women, but in my opinion, getting fat is the opposite of a battle, and stretch marks are just a weird side effect. The point of this post is that I need to learn to accept all of me, and that will be closer to complete with my accepting or even liking my stretch marks. Why, you lovely people, should I love my stretch marks?



Why should you love your stretch marks? Well, why not? 

I have stretch marks on my shoulders, so when summer comes I have two options. I could wear a hot restrictive t-shirt or a cool tank top. I choose a tank top cause, who cares about stretch marks when it's 95 degrees outside.


----------



## MissPrufrock (May 5, 2010)

It seems that you view your stretch marks as something abnormal. Although I'm not sure of the exact percentages, I'm quite positive that at least half of the population has them. Why, then, should you be ashamed of them? It's not unlike being ashamed of being fat, is it? It's something you perceive should cause shame, but in reality it's just the way you are. Our society (well, more like the media and celebrity culture) try to convey "perfection" as the ideal that every one should aspire and if you don't, there's something wrong with you. How absurd! 

I've had stretch marks since I was 11, and not only a few like you have. Just as the tendency to hold weight is genetic, so are stretch marks. When I first started getting stretch marks I was horrified and thought that there was absolutely no way anyone would love me, accept me, or think me beautiful. I was so wrong! Although they're all over my tummy, on my arms etc I don't even notice them any more and my fiancé certainly doesn't seem to mind at all. 

So why should you accept your imperfections, whether they be stretch marks or whatever else? Because you're awesome and lovable no matter your physical imperfetions. Like my fiance always says, imperfections are what make people interesting!


----------



## Kbbig (May 9, 2010)

Kind of bumping an "old" topic, but I've been so busy since I last posted that I hadn't seen these replies. Anyways...

Y'all are awesome. These perspectives actually really help me look at my stretch marks differently. Obviously, it will take a bit of work on my own part to make them cool with me, but all these posts help tremendously. Thank you guys, and if anyone else has anything to add, feel free! :happy:


----------



## Jes (May 9, 2010)

Kbbig said:


> Okay, maybe I can't love them, but how would I accept them? I know they are "just there", but moles and wrinkles are to be expected. Stretch marks ... not so much.



Yeah, I was going to recommend that if you can do it un-creepily, that you start really looking at people. 

Most thin women I've seen, and I do mean thin, have stretch marks. Boobs or butts, they have them. You may not believe me; I didn't believe it either the first few times I saw it. But the number of, let's say, 130 lbs women with stretchmarks is significant. 

So, if thin people have them and fat people have them then I think that's some good evidence that they're expected. Get it? So I'm glad you've gotten it!


----------



## superodalisque (May 10, 2010)

they're beautiful just because they are a part of you!


----------



## collared Princess (May 10, 2010)

Philippe has faint streach marks on his booty..so did my x husband and they are far far from being fat..it is just the way it is..but Id be happy to take them from you...lol


----------



## kayrae (May 10, 2010)

I wish I had that attitude when I was younger and in a heat wave. I made peace with my stretch marks when I realized they're just a part of me. And really, your comfort trumps anyone's aesthetics any day.



olwen said:


> Why should you love your stretch marks? Well, why not?
> 
> I have stretch marks on my shoulders, so when summer comes I have two options. I could wear a hot restrictive t-shirt or a cool tank top. I choose a tank top cause, *who cares about stretch marks when it's 95 degrees outside.*


----------



## verucassault (May 11, 2010)

i love kat williams attitude towards stretch marks

"We don't have no time to worry bout no sh!t like stretch marks... They came from either 1 of 2 things... Either you was big & got small, or you were small & got big ! Either way we f$#kin... Either Waaay!" 

wooh, hilarious

anyway i like my stretch marks cause they are there and it reminds me of my very own tiger strips, like a cat suit! rawr


----------



## kayrae (May 11, 2010)

omg, that whole show was hilarious. here's the link for anyone who wants to hear it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj5-71ziM5c


----------



## olwen (May 11, 2010)

kayrae said:


> I wish I had that attitude when I was younger and in a heat wave. I made peace with my stretch marks when I realized they're just a part of me. And really, your comfort trumps anyone's aesthetics any day.



Exactly. You gotta be in your own body so you may as well get comfortable.


----------



## KittyKitten (May 12, 2010)

I have this long four inch scar that runs down my leg, I still feel sexy and wear short skirts. Rock what you have.


----------



## KittyKitten (May 12, 2010)

verucassault said:


> i love kat williams attitude towards stretch marks
> 
> "We don't have no time to worry bout no sh!t like stretch marks... They came from either 1 of 2 things... Either you was big & got small, or you were small & got big ! Either way we f$#kin... Either Waaay!"
> 
> ...



Kat Williams is a trip.


----------



## rollhandler (May 12, 2010)

Kbbig said:


> Considered all the forums to post this in, and went with the vaguest section.
> 
> I have been chubby my whole life and didn't realize how "unusual" it is to be plump until maybe 13 or 14. Around this time I developed the only stretch marks I have, 4 or 5 vertical lines on my love handles. Slowly, I have learned to looooove my belly and, more recently, my moobs (god, I hate that word though). Anyways, the sole thing preventing me from liking having my shirt off in public would be those silver lines on my hips. They just seem so ... unnatural. I know via various other stretch mark related threads I have read that the overwhelming majority of people do not like their marks at all. The most common reason I see for someone liking them would be that they are "battle wounds". Maybe for pregnant women, but in my opinion, getting fat is the opposite of a battle, and stretch marks are just a weird side effect. The point of this post is that I need to learn to accept all of me, and that will be closer to complete with my accepting or even liking my stretch marks. Why, you lovely people, should I love my stretch marks?



I weigh somewhere in the neighborhood of 135 lb on a good day. Across my tailbone and down my butt cheeks I have a spiderweb of stretch-marks that can only be seen when I tan. I don't love them, I don't hate them, I merely accept that they are there. They get noticed from time to time, but mostly with shocked questions about how someone my size got them. So far as I know they showed up in puberty. They are a part of me, just like any other scar I got while living my life. I pay them no attention and give them no shame. I do nothing to hide them either. If someone has a problem with stretchmarks it is their problem not mine. I refuse to be embarrassed or show shame for any part of my anatomy that is a naturally occurring part of existing in a body. They are merely a part of what makes me unique as a person. I refuse to show shame for any part of my body that offends someone else. Life is too short to worry about what someone else may be offended by about your physical appearance, just accept that they are a part of who you are and live your life.
Rollhandler


----------



## t3h_n00b (May 12, 2010)

verucassault said:


> i love kat williams attitude towards stretch marks
> 
> "We don't have no time to worry bout no sh!t like stretch marks... They came from either 1 of 2 things... Either you was big & got small, or you were small & got big ! Either way we f$#kin... Either Waaay!"
> 
> ...



My sentiments exactly.


----------



## jimj (May 14, 2010)

I love my wifes stretch marks and cellulite. They are road maps to sexy.


----------



## violet835 (May 14, 2010)

I think stretch marks are but natural occurrences in our body. So don't mind them. How we appear to people does not count as to whether or not we have stretch marks, its how we walk tall with pride.


----------



## Kbbig (May 15, 2010)

Once again, this community proves why I can feel so comfortable here. I thought this topic would die quickly like most of my other topics, but no, people still are providing me with more and more reasons to like my imperfections. I hope others are reading these posts who felt the way I did when I wrote it, because this advice is so spectacular. Thank you all and keep the stories and help coming in; I and others are probably interested.


----------



## LovelyLiz (May 15, 2010)

verucassault said:


> i love kat williams attitude towards stretch marks
> 
> "We don't have no time to worry bout no sh!t like stretch marks... They came from either 1 of 2 things... Either you was big & got small, or you were small & got big ! Either way we f$#kin... Either Waaay!"
> 
> ...



HILARIOUS!!!! Love it. Cat suit! The best. 

Reminds me of an interaction I had today. I'm visiting my mom for the weekend, and we were talking about the freckles on my arms, and I said, "Or as my dermatologist calls them...sun damage." I proceeded to show her how my tummy is super white, since it doesn't get sun, and that's what my dermatologist calls the "healthy, beautiful skin." 

Mom: Well, except the stretch marks. 

(And she laughs. It's not mean at all when she says it, and she's fat too. We're cool about bodies and whatnot since I've brought her into the you-don't-need-to-hate-your-fat-body mindset, and she really doesn't mean it in a mean way.)

Me: I don't call them stretch marks, I call them...beauty marks. (Then we both laugh.)

Mom: That's you, always trying to remarket the human body.

Yes! I'm claiming that. Remarketing the human body. I'm taking that to the bank. 
So all of us and all our beauty marks of various kinds can just revel in our differences and all the details that make us, us.


----------



## Maeora (May 16, 2010)

I only weigh like eight and a half stone but I have three or four large silvery stretch marks on one hip. I was upset at first, but then was like *shrug* I had all my hair fall out last year, so it's easier for me to accept I guess


----------



## MizzSnakeBite (May 19, 2010)

While you might never love your stretchmarks, you can come to accept them. My advice is the next time you go to a beach, pool, where ever, just take your shirt off, and do it FAST. Don't think about it, do it! Getting over that initial hurdle will help a lot. 

I really don't think people will be startled or anything. They're probably more worried about how they're looking.  lol

Good luck!


----------



## Lovelyone (May 19, 2010)

I've used my stretch marks as a map to find my way home while traveling


----------



## CastingPearls (May 19, 2010)

Maeora said:


> I only weigh like eight and a half stone but I have three or four large silvery stretch marks on one hip. I was upset at first, but then was like *shrug* I had all my hair fall out last year, so it's easier for me to accept I guess


Ah how true. All my hair fell out as well, about two years ago. In perspective, stretch marks kinda fell off the 'things I'm not thrilled about my bod' list.


----------

