# Angry Beyond Belief About Locum Doctor



## CausticSodaPop (Aug 11, 2008)

My wife had an appointment with her GP this morning. Usually, she sees a lovely, female doctor who has never criticised her for her weight and only refers to it when it is relevant. This morning, however, we went into the consulting room and discovered that her GP was on sick leave and that her appointment would be with a locum instead. 

The purpose of my wife's visit was to get the results of a blood test that might indicate whether or not she has PCOS (a likely scenario given her symptoms) and to discuss treatment options. As it happened, the results had not been recieved, but the locum decided to talk about treatment options anyway. Given my wife's size, you can probably guess where he started.

"The first thing you'll need to do is to lose a LOT of weight," he said.
"That's not possible," said my wife. She began to explain her history of battles with weight, but he interrupted her.
"If you can't do it through willpower," he said, managing to suggest that she had none, "we could try Xenical. That blocks the digestion of fat from the diet."
"But I already eat a low-fat diet," my wife protested.
"It's true," I said. "I'm quite health conscious and she eats just as healthily as I do, if not more so."

He then starts addressing me as though she was not there!
"Could she be sneaking food when you're not around?"
"No," I said, through gritted teeth. "I do the grocery shopping."
He made a cynical sort of "Hmmm" noise, then, turning back to my wife said: "Mrs. ********, I would like to help you, but I can't do that if you're not absolutely honest with me."

I am not a violent man by any stretch of the imagination, but I was ready to punch him by this point. Fortunately for me, my poor wife had also had enough. She thanked him for his time and said that she would wait until her own GP returned to discuss the matter further. Now, I've just come in from work to find her curled up in bed, crying her eyes out because she thinks no doctor will ever take her seriously. If I was any more furious, I would rupture something. She hates going to the doctor anyway. Now it's going to be ten times worse for her. I had no idea that idiots like this were still practicing.

*Sigh.* Sorry about this long post. I just had to vent somewhere!

Richard


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## jewels_mystery (Aug 11, 2008)

CausticSodaPop said:


> My wife had an appointment with her GP this morning. Usually, she sees a lovely, female doctor who has never criticised her for her weight and only refers to it when it is relevant. This morning, however, we went into the consulting room and discovered that her GP was on sick leave and that her appointment would be with a locum instead.
> 
> The purpose of my wife's visit was to get the results of a blood test that might indicate whether or not she has PCOS (a likely scenario given her symptoms) and to discuss treatment options. As it happened, the results had not been recieved, but the locum decided to talk about treatment options anyway. Given my wife's size, you can probably guess where he started.
> 
> ...




Iam so sorry this happened. That is norm treatment for me with doctors. You sound like a great husband. She should make a compliant in writing. he should not be able to get away with his behavior.


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## CausticSodaPop (Aug 12, 2008)

I'm sorry to hear that you've suffered similar treatment, Jewels. 

I've mentioned to Lisa (my wife) that she should make a complaint about this particular doctor. She's thinking about discussing it with her usual, sympathetic GP first and seeing whether another doctor thinks this was out of line as she says she doesn't want "to cause trouble if he wasn't seriously out of line". 

She's a dear, gentle, caring soul but there are times I wish that I could make her just a little bit more forceful when it comes to her right to be treated as a human being. Still, perhaps that's why she's best paired with a bolshy so and so like me!


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## bexy (Aug 12, 2008)

This kinda happened to me once. I went to see my doc about something completely unrelated and he started talking about "a 5 stone weightloss by this time next year" when I had never mentioned my weight!!

He doesnt mention my weight anymore though as he knows I am happy and healthy but also I have told him if and when I want to do something about it I will tell him. 

If your wife doesnt want to stir up trouble, which I can totally understand, at least maybe she can refuse to see this same doctor again?

Give her hugs from me, and just tell the doctor some girls are bigger than others 

(hope u get the smiths reference heee hee!)


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## alison.victoria (Aug 12, 2008)

This is exactly why I avoid doctors like the plague. I have gone into a doctor's office for a sinus infection and come out crying because they've railed on me about my weight. I had a doctor at the ER once after I injured my knee and something else was going on because my leg was swelling so horribly stand completely across the room from me, give me a look of disgust, and tell me that "it was because injuries swell and it was probably worse because I was fat." I was absolutely aghast, because I had never had my leg swell like that with previous knee injuries.

I've also had testing for PCOS and thyroid disorders, and the last time I was in to the endocrinologist after having not been there for 2 years and gaining all the weight I had lost back, she basically told me she was not even going to run any tests because "she knew I could lose the weight naturally" and when I told her that I had eaten less than 1,000 calories a day and did an hour and a half of cardio and half an hour at least of weights every day to lose the weight, she said that I'd just have to go back to doing that.

Yeah, sorry, but where I'm from, that borders on an eating disorder...


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## moore2me (Aug 12, 2008)

Caustic Soda Pop & Allison, I have walked in your shoes and felt the pain from treatment like you guys described at the hands of a few health care providers myself. Unfortunately, I have had to visit too many doctors (due to several serious health problems), so I have had plenty opportunities to be a "sitting duck in a shooting gallery". Because I am fat, medical doctors think they should spend time giving me their best advice on weight loss and their ideas of healthy living, even if I am in their office for shots to get a VISA to visit a foreign country. Mind you, not all doctors attack me like a Mexican bull does a Matador's cape, but too many do. Sometimes I think just the image of fat little me waddling into their waiting room makes their medically trained mind go into the attack mode.

Caustic - tell your wife not to spend any more time crying about this latest confrontation. It's not worth it. All the worry and angst will take a few days off her life & make her spend valuable time worried about something as you mentioned in your post, she has no control over. I have said before here in DIMS, that the hardest thing, but an important one for us fatties to learn is to develop our own internal dignity and our own solid and healthy opinion of ourselves. Then when someone tells us we are "bad" or "ugly" or stooped, or some other catchy hate word, it should not affect our internal self image. Let the hurtful words run off you like water off a ducks back. 

If you think you need to take action against a health care provider for his/her mistreatment of you or your spouse, I suggest you write them a business letter. State the facts of your complaint. Do it in a business-like manner, not emotional, do not use foul language, do not threaten, just speak plainly and accurately. Sign the letter and send it to the person with the problem & a copy to someone who has some control over that persons job. Before I send any letter like this out, after I write the letter, I keep it at home and re-read it a few days later to make sure I feel the same way after my temper has cooled.

(P.S. Excuse all the animal analogies in this post, I can't help it.)


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## T_Devil (Aug 12, 2008)

I'd have told him to take his attitude and fuck off.
It wouldn't be the first Doctor I would have done that too.

fuckin' pricks.


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## Gina (Aug 13, 2008)

I went to see this one doctor for the first time. He took one look at me and advised me to have WLS. I lifted up my dress and showed him the scar and told him, been there, done that. He looked at me incredulous and said well there's a surgical report I'd like to read.. Like I didnt know whether I had had it or not. To say the least I never went back, and the DR I have now is wonderful.

Remember, MD does not stand for medical diety, they are providing a service, and take your business and your money or insurance elsewhere until you find a Dr with more compassion than a paper clip like that one had.


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## canadianbbw4u (Aug 13, 2008)

I know what your saying.. Its the worst when that happens. I think that if your dr isnt gonna be in they should notify you and let you decide if you wanna see the dr who's gonna be there. AND if you do decide to goto that dr, they should only talk about what you are there for, nothing else. 

I had a great doctor before, I could goto her for anything and she never mentioned my weight. I went in cause I was getting this pain in my knee and my knee cap would pop off. So I go in and my dr wasnt there that day and she had a replacment in. She didnt even listen to me, she said to me "You need to lose weight, thats the problem" "Look, at your wrists, you dont have a large frame." I was a little cranky with her. She wasnt my dr and if I would have known my dr wasnt there I wouldnt have gone. 
Well in the end the reason my knees where doing that is cause I was staying on a cement floor for 8 hours a day while wearing crappy shoes I had to wear for work. Since I quit that job I have never had a problem. 

Im sorry to all the people who have had this kinda thing happen.


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## Surlysomething (Aug 13, 2008)

Jerkasses.

My Dr. would NEVER talk to me like that. But that's why she's my Dr. 

I'm sorry your wife is feeling so down. I very rarely see anyone but my own GP unless it's a prescription refill or i'm really worried about something. She knows i'm like that too and respects my feelings.

But, Dr's are just people. And we all know that a lot of people are plain-out assholes. And I would also suggest that she tell her own Dr about what happened and how it made her feel. In all seriousness, that Dr should be reprimanded.


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## Tina (Aug 13, 2008)

Richard, I'm terribly sorry about this. I think most of us have gone through something like this or similar in our lives. There are so many 'educated' idiots out there it's amazing. Hopefully it can be arranged that your wife will only see her regular doc and never this other jerk again.

Weight bigotry crosses all lines, that's for sure, and I know that while it's hard on your wife, it's hard on you, too, because you love her and want to protect her from bastards like that one.


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## steely (Aug 13, 2008)

I'm sorry that happened but as everyone has already said,We all have our horrible doctor stories.It's hard to overlook being treated as if you are sub-human.


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## CausticSodaPop (Aug 14, 2008)

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling a lot more positive about things now, as is Lisa.

She rang the surgery yesterday and they're going to give her a call back to rearrange an appointment when her usual doctor is back at work. From what the receptionist said to her it sounds as though the surgery might have had a few complaints from other patients about that particular locum, so Lisa is - in a way - relieved to know that it wasn't just her that was singled out! 

I'm so proud of Lisa. She's had so much crap thrown at her over the years and yet, like so many other BBWs and BHMs she keeps dusting herself off and pushing forward.


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## KaliCurves (Nov 2, 2008)

I have had similar experiences. Where the Dr would talk past me to my Ex. Or would out right tell me how Fat I am and I need to lose weight. I dont one Dr so baffled one time because all my blood tests was wonderful and even on the low side. He said looking at the blood work it didnt fit my body. 

Right now I have found a wonderful Dr who is more concerned with controlling and preventing then he is about riding my ass about my weight, (and since he is chunky him self he really cant say shit).

Just keep looking there are a few good Drs out there.


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