# Times you have scratched your head at the opposite sex (or same sex, I don't judge!)



## BigChaz (Sep 15, 2009)

So, as the title to this thread says, this is the thread for posting times you have been confused by the people you are attracted to. This happened to me on Saturday:

I was at JC Penny shopping for a new cologne because the one I used to wear is no longer available. I was smelling various colognes and I came across one called "Green Irish Tweed" that basically almost made me gay for myself. I told the girl behind the counter that I may have just found the scent for me. I sprayed some on my neck and then told her I'd buy it. Well, from behind me this stunning girl comes up from where she was at the perfume counter shopping. She puts one hand on my upper arm and one hand on the side of my belly and leans in and smells my neck. She tells me "Wow, I could get used to that smell.". The girl behind the counter arcs an eyebrow at me and gives me a smile like "You just scored, dawg". 

Naturally I start talking with the girl who just smelled me and we try out a few other colognes together, tell some jokes, and just have a good time. We finally decide I am a Irish Tweed kind of man and before we part ways I asked her for her number as I'd like to take her out sometime. She looks at me with a half-smile on her face and goes "uh...no...no I don't think so."

I just kinda stood there for a second, then laughed a bit and turned around to finish buying my cologne. The girl behind the counter said to me "I'm not sure what just happened there because that girl was into you." Then she gave me a 15% discount on my cologne because, and I quote, "That was messed up.". 

So that is my recent head scratching story. Your turn. 


P.S. - I smell great right now


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Sep 15, 2009)

hahaha, the best part of the story is the girl behind the counter. Priceless. 

I wish I had something to share, but I don't.


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## BigChaz (Sep 15, 2009)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> hahaha, the best part of the story is the girl behind the counter. Priceless.
> 
> I wish I had something to share, but I don't.



If it helps, I would turn you down if you asked me out. 

Anyways, I got a comment about my cologne from some lady at the grocery store today during lunch. This cologne is magic. MAGIC.


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## Tad (Sep 15, 2009)

Well, at least you found a really good cologne on you!

All sorts of reasons are possible for how she behaved. I was also amused by the girl behind the counter, though! At least you weren't the only one who found it all odd 

I eagerly await any further reports on the magic of this cologne on you 

PS. I have seen it suggested that the resistance to giving out email addresses may be lower than phone numbers. I don't think it would have made a difference in this case, but there is a small chance that, while she was still enthralled by your smell, something along the lines of "You know all this sniffing of me doesn't come for free, I think you should buy me a coffee sometime. Do you have email?" _might _have worked (I make no great claim to dating prowess, so I could be full of it).


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## BigChaz (Sep 15, 2009)

Tad said:


> Well, at least you found a really good cologne on you!
> 
> All sorts of reasons are possible for how she behaved. I was also amused by the girl behind the counter, though! At least you weren't the only one who found it all odd
> 
> ...



I've never considered asking for an email address...maybe I should try that. One day phone numbers may be useless! "Excuse me, I noticed you are pretty hot. Could I get your myspace, twitter, facebook, email, and your most common forum username?"


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## SanDiega (Sep 15, 2009)

This is ironic. I came here to say I dont understand why men think they can get my number/into my pants after I show them basic courtesy. Being freindly dose not mean I am into you. I dont want to sound cruel or arrogant, but it is amazing how a guy thinks he has a free pass after I ask to borrow his notes in class or something.

I also don't understand why men honk at us when we are walking. What do they think we are going to do, chase their car down and beg them to be our boyfreinds? All it does is leave me feeling vulnerable and objectified.


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## BigChaz (Sep 15, 2009)

SanDiega said:


> This is ironic. I came here to say I dont understand why men think they can get my number/into my pants after I show them basic courtesy. Being freindly dose not mean I am into you. I dont want to sound cruel or arrogant, but it is amazing how a guy thinks he has a free pass after I ask to borrow his notes in class or something.
> 
> I also don't understand why men honk at us when we are walking. What do they think we are going to do, chase their car down and beg them to be our boyfreinds? All it does is leave me feeling vulnerable and objectified.



It is a skill all men have. Any basic courtesy you show us can be immediately turned into a sign of flirtation or interest.


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## Cors (Sep 15, 2009)

SanDiega said:


> This is ironic. I came here to say I dont understand why men think they can get my number/into my pants after I show them basic courtesy. Being freindly dose not mean I am into you. I dont want to sound cruel or arrogant, but it is amazing how a guy thinks he has a free pass after I ask to borrow his notes in class or something.
> 
> I also don't understand why men honk at us when we are walking. What do they think we are going to do, chase their car down and beg them to be our boyfreinds? All it does is leave me feeling vulnerable and objectified.



I agree! Even if you are a little aloof or say no, they will just think you must be "playing hard to get"....

As for women, particularly fat women, I can throw myself at them and tell them how interested I am, but they _still_ won't get it. 

Funny how we can attract everything but our type.


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## Saoirse (Sep 15, 2009)

Personally, I think the fact that she made physical contact is the most confusing part. I've always thought that touching is very flirtatious. So if someone was talking to me, and touching my arm... I would believe they were flirting with me.

I can completely understand the OP's confusion!


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## mossystate (Sep 15, 2009)

Nah. Some people are just naturally like that. They touch and get into another persons space. Sometimes it is creepy. Sometimes it means they are in a good mood and want to lift the spirits of others. It's like...whoa there! I would not really care for random people sniffing me.....


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## joswitch (Sep 15, 2009)

@BigChaz - she approaches you from nowhere, leans all over you, touches you, smells your neck, and lolz with you! And then shoots you down! A flirt and a tease! Damn! Oh well a fun flirt time is kinda cool in and of itself, eh? and I agree counter girl is ace!


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## BigChaz (Sep 15, 2009)

Doesn't anyone else have a good story to share? Maybe a time you embarrassed yourself? Someone embarrassed you? Like me, you got shot down for no reason you understand? You misread someones signals?


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## WillSpark (Sep 15, 2009)

At some points the ability of my own mind to wander completely away from any romatic interest makes me scratch my head. Moreso, that I recognize it in everyone else's life.

I have actually scratched my head at some people that thought I was into someone because we were friends, yet "they could tell" even though I just told them it wasn't the case.

Also, being called a man-ho was a bit of a scratcher.


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## Cors (Sep 15, 2009)

Well I hate how straight women can spend all night flirting with me and actually showing more than just sexual interest, but immediately back off when I do ask them out...


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## SanDiega (Sep 16, 2009)

Cors said:


> Well I hate how straight women can spend all night flirting with me and actually showing more than just sexual interest, but immediately back off when I do ask them out...



I am consumed with guilt. I enjoy flirting with lesbians.


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## Tracii (Sep 16, 2009)

Well at first I was thinking it was a set up to get you to buy the cologne.
But with the sales girl's response I'm not sure now.
The fact she touched you and your belly is a sign she didn't find you at all unattractive but as approachable.
BUT asking bluntly for a phone number may have turned her off.
Maybe if you had acted more unintersted she would have found you more attractive and more worthy of her attention.
Some girls I know its a huge turn on factor when flirting with a guy that the guy gives them the yeah you're cute but I could do better look.
They look at the guy as a challenge to hold his attention.Just a thought.
Cors I sort of have the same problem.
When at a gay/lesbian club its the skinny girls hitting on me all night and when I see that very pretty chubby girl and try to start a convo I get shot down.


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## Starling (Sep 16, 2009)

Ten bucks says it's either one of two things - a) she has a boyfriend b) she's one of those people who's flirty, but would want to get to know someone before they hang out alone. She doesn't know if you're a decent guy or a really nice smelling creep, you know?  

Also, I can share some head scratchers I guess. This exact scenario has happened to me about five times, and I don't even know why: Hang out with a guy, go to parties or dinner or whatever, have them say they're really into you, but quickly followed by "I just can't keep up with you." I've heard that phrase multiple times from different people, and I have NO clue what it means. And then they date someone who I guess is pretty easy to keep up with haha, but the whole time they talk about how they'd rather be with you. Friggin weird, man. 

P.S. Maybe you should ask the sales girl out haha. Sounds like a better time.


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## Melian (Sep 16, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> Anyways, I got a comment about my cologne from some lady at the grocery store today during lunch. This cologne is magic. MAGIC.



I want to smell it!! 

Well here's a quick story for you: every few months I have to go for cancer treatment/monitoring at a hospital that is across the street from my old highschool. The school has recently undergone some architectural additions, so I decided to walk the perimeter and have a look. Now, I know I don't look _old_...but I don't look 15 either....so I was stunned when a group of hs guys (grade 10/11 or so it appeared) asked "what class" I was in, and proceeded to try and pick me up  Let's just say, it didn't go well for them. Haha....fail.


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## xxeell (Sep 16, 2009)

> This is ironic. I came here to say I dont understand why men think they can get my number/into my pants after I show them basic courtesy. Being freindly dose not mean I am into you. I dont want to sound cruel or arrogant, but it is amazing how a guy thinks he has a free pass after I ask to borrow his notes in class or something.



I used to have this problem. So over the years I've decided never to assume a girl is into me. I kind of got into a lose/lose situation. Mainly because if there was a girl that was into me I would never know because I assumed she wasn't. I don't want mistaken someone's common courtesy for come on. So, I don't really know what to do haha =}


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## Tad (Sep 16, 2009)

Starling said:


> Also, I can share some head scratchers I guess. This exact scenario has happened to me about five times, and I don't even know why: Hang out with a guy, go to parties or dinner or whatever, have them say they're really into you, but quickly followed by "I just can't keep up with you." I've heard that phrase multiple times from different people, and I have NO clue what it means.



I'm assuming they aren't simply complaining that you walk too fast  At a guess, do you have a LOT going on in your life (and maybe in your head)? That you don't spend a lot of time on the couch playing X-Box, reading the newspaper, or whatever? And at that, that you aren't just keeping busy, you have things to DO, and that you like having things on the go. I could be way off, but you do strike me, from what can be told over the net, as someone who is on the go, who wants to really go out and do things in your life.

If someone else just wants to kind of sit around and not do much, it could be a tough combination? Even if you aren't demanding that they do stuff, there can be a guilt factor when you are around someone that busy (speaking as the child of someone like that)



> P.S. Maybe you should ask the sales girl out haha. Sounds like a better time.



I was just thinking this same thing....would have been weird to turn to her and ask for her number right after being shot down, but when you are back for a re-fill, if she is working that day....although I don't know about trying to pick up someone who is working--it is part of their job to be nice to you, so .... *shrug* but who knows?



Melian said:


> I want to smell it!!
> 
> Well here's a quick story for you: every few months I have to go for cancer treatment/monitoring at a hospital that is across the street from my old highschool. The school has recently undergone some architectural additions, so I decided to walk the perimeter and have a look. Now, I know I don't look _old_...but I don't look 15 either....so I was stunned when a group of hs guys (grade 10/11 or so it appeared) asked "what class" I was in, and proceeded to try and pick me up  Let's just say, it didn't go well for them. Haha....fail.



Ha, but annoying! This happened to my older sister some, but when still in university. She had a couple of work terms near high schools, and at something under 5'2" and a hundred pounds, plus natural blonde that made her look younger, it was kind of understandable how they made the mistake there....but it drove her absolutely crazy. (as her younger brother, it amused me vastly)


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## BigChaz (Sep 16, 2009)

xxeell said:


> I used to have this problem. So over the years I've decided never to assume a girl is into me. I kind of got into a lose/lose situation. Mainly because if there was a girl that was into me I would never know because I assumed she wasn't. I don't want mistaken someone's common courtesy for come on. So, I don't really know what to do haha =}



This is a problem I run into sometimes. If it was a confidence issue it would be easy to fix. But this is more like a "not sure" issue, know what I mean? If you judge right you are golden, if you judge wrong you potentially offend someone / embarrass yourself. But hey, it's all part of the game, that's why relationships and dating are one of the hardest things in life!

I broke up with my girlfriend...oh...2 months ago or so I guess, maybe a little longer. I met her at a car garage when I was waiting to get my car aligned. I asked her if she wanted to meet for dinner and she said she was not interested, then she left because her car was ready. 5 minutes later she walked back in and gave me her phone number. If I had assumed she was just being civil with me then I never would have gotten to enjoy my time with her! I've started going for it more often lately because hell, I'd rather be embarrassed for 5 minutes by a girl at JC Penny than miss out on a good relationship for a few months. 

What about you other folks? How do you deal with it? I'm pretty happy with the way things work for me, but everyone has their own deal. I'm pretty sure this is one of the hardest parts of the dating game for most people.


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## Esther (Sep 16, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> I've never considered asking for an email address...maybe I should try that. One day phone numbers may be useless! "Excuse me, I noticed you are pretty hot. Could I get your myspace, twitter, facebook, email, and your most common forum username?"



It's totally true about e-mails though. As a lady, I can tell you that I will give out my e-mail readily, but I almost never give out my phone number. E-mail is safe; you can block someone on e-mail if he turns out to be creepy! Phone numbers, on the other hand, can be dangerous if the guy is creepy.


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## BigChaz (Sep 16, 2009)

Esther said:


> It's totally true about e-mails though. As a lady, I can tell you that I will give out my e-mail readily, but I almost never give out my phone number. E-mail is safe; you can block someone on e-mail if he turns out to be creepy! Phone numbers, on the other hand, can be dangerous if the guy is creepy.
> Not that I'm saying you're creepy!!



I will totally go for the e-mail address next time then (hopefully soon!).


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## Esther (Sep 16, 2009)

Tad said:


> I was just thinking this same thing....would have been weird to turn to her and ask for her number right after being shot down, but when you are back for a re-fill, if she is working that day....although I don't know about trying to pick up someone who is working--it is part of their job to be nice to you, so .... *shrug* but who knows?



Dude, this is one of my biggest pet peeves. I get asked out at work ALL THE TIME, most of the time by people I wouldn't even speak to if I wasn't being paid to be nice to them (smelly/dirty, totally creepy and borderline sexually harrassing me, wayyyy too old, wayyyy too young, etc). It is the worst idea ever to ask someone out when they are working because unfortunately, people at work are fake as shit. If they weren't being fake as shit, they'd get fired. I'm sure it may turn out well in like 0.0001% of cases, but most of the time, unless you're getting extremely obvious signals from the person that go far beyond common courtesy, this should be avoided.


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## BigChaz (Sep 16, 2009)

Esther said:


> Dude, this is one of my biggest pet peeves. I get asked out at work ALL THE TIME, most of the time by people I wouldn't even speak to if I wasn't being paid to be nice to them (smelly/dirty, totally creepy and borderline sexually harrassing me, wayyyy too old, wayyyy too young, etc). It is the worst idea ever to ask someone out when they are working because unfortunately, people at work are fake as shit. If they weren't being fake as shit, they'd get fired. I'm sure it may turn out well in like 0.0001% of cases, but most of the time, unless you're getting extremely obvious signals from the person that go far beyond common courtesy, this should be avoided.



I have friends that think every bartender on the planet wants to jump in bed with them.


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## Esther (Sep 16, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> I have friends that think every bartender on the planet wants to jump in bed with them.



That's exactly what I mean!!

Here's a relevant noggin-scratchin' story for you:

There is a regular who comes into my work all the time and spends a lot of money. He's probably my dad's age, and he's always polite and talkative with the staff. We looked at him as a good customer so we always went out of our way to say hello to him and ask him how he's doing (it's just courteous if you're seeing that person a few times a week). One morning he came in when I had opened the store by myself and it was still totally empty, and he asked if he could look at the tattoo on my foot. I said, "sure," and stuck out my leg a little. I was wearing a hi-waisted skirt that came to my knee, and a pair of open-top shoes so he could see it just fine. BUT THEN he crouches right down there like he needs to inspect it from an inch away, and starts being all weird, and touches my foot, and comments on the tattoo, and then comments on my skin, and says, "...mind if I just...?" At this point I was sweating and shaking and I froze right up because I'm the biggest sissy on the planet. Then he kissed my foot. Kissed my motherfucking foot. A long, creepy kiss.

He tipped me $5.00 like I had just performed a sexual service for him and I cried when he left!!!

Perfect example: WHY WHY WHY do that to someone who is working at the mall, WHY. No I am not interested in your foot fetish!!! I just said hello how are you doing!!


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## BigChaz (Sep 16, 2009)

Esther said:


> That's exactly what I mean!!
> 
> Here's a relevant noggin-scratchin' story for you:
> 
> ...



That is creepy as hell and that guy needs his ass kicked. I hope he doesn't come back anymore...he doesn't right?

That is one screwed up guy to think he has the right to kiss your foot or anyone's foot without being in an intimate setting or having some sort of explicit permission. People suck sometimes.


edit: Oh god, I just noticed the $5 tip part. He is a sick pervert who knew exactly what he was doing. What a sick bastard.


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## Esther (Sep 16, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> That is creepy as hell and that guy needs his ass kicked. I hope he doesn't come back anymore...he doesn't right?
> 
> That is one screwed up guy to think he has the right to kiss your foot or anyone's foot without being in an intimate setting or having some sort of explicit permission. People suck sometimes.
> 
> ...



I definitely should have kicked him in the face, but I have a really hard time sticking up for myself when I'm freaked out, I usually just freeze up and cry.
He still comes back, and I'm starting to think he waits until I'm alone. I'll be working all day with somebody, and the second the other person leaves to take out the garbage he's there. I just say hello and avoid him by constantly keeping a rack of items between us until the other person comes back and I can go hide in the back room.
He also doesn't seem to come in anymore when my boss is working, which is unfortunate because my boss plans to tell him he's not allowed in the store when I'm working... then I will be able to kick his stupid ass out and get him banned from the mall if he comes in. For now I can't really do anything about it until someone with more authority speaks to him first.

I just don't understand why he, or anyone else for that matter, would think that is appropriate behaviour.


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## Esther (Sep 16, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> That is creepy as hell and that guy needs his ass kicked. I hope he doesn't come back anymore...he doesn't right?
> 
> That is one screwed up guy to think he has the right to kiss your foot or anyone's foot without being in an intimate setting or having some sort of explicit permission. People suck sometimes.
> 
> ...



I definitely should have kicked him in the face, but I have a really hard time sticking up for myself when I'm freaked out, I usually just freeze up and cry.
He still comes back, and I'm starting to think he waits until I'm alone. I'll be working all day with somebody, and the second the other person leaves to take out the garbage he's there. I just say hello and avoid him by constantly keeping a rack of items between us until the other person comes back and I can go hide in the back room.
He also doesn't seem to come in anymore when my boss is working, which is unfortunate because my boss plans to tell him he's not allowed in the store when I'm working... then I will be able to kick his stupid ass out and get him banned from the mall if he comes in. For now I can't really do anything about it until someone with more authority speaks to him first.

I just don't understand why he, or anyone else for that matter, would think that is appropriate behaviour.


And you're right... he knew exactly what he was doing! It makes me wonder if he's done it to other girls working in retail.


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## Tad (Sep 16, 2009)

Esther, that is truly horrible. So many disgusting guys out there, it is amazing sometimes that women are willing to extend any trust to any guy after a while.

What am awful situation. Hard to believe that he comes back at all, especially after what he did.  I hope you can get him banned soon.....or at least sometime when a co-worker has come back in, ask him to please not interact with you--to come in when another worker is on, and deal with them?

Good luck dealing with this.

(and on topic: yes, scratching my head at how this guy could have thought either that this was OK in the first place, or thought that coming back regularly was still going to be OK).


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## Tracii (Sep 16, 2009)

OMG Esther that is soo creepy UGH!
You should have kicked him in the sac and thrown the $5.00 back at him.
What a douche!!( a line I picked up from my boss)
I had a guy grab my hand while I was giving him his change and he drew back his hand when i sunk my fingernails in.
My boss was standing right next to me and he let the guy know that kind of behavior was out of line in his store.I love my boss.
Oh and he is your typical older NYC Italian type you don't want to argue with.LOL


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## rollhandler (Sep 16, 2009)

Cors said:


> Well I hate how straight women can spend all night flirting with me and actually showing more than just sexual interest, but immediately back off when I do ask them out...



I often wonder if people who act this way, gay or straight simply don't realize the body language and verbal cues they exhibit are exactly that, sexual in context. It would seem so given the surprise displayed after receiving a resulting return come-on (request for phone number/date etc) from the person they were interacting with in this manner. Or if this is the only way that they have been taught to interact with others by experience showing them that different behaviours give them less return attention?
Rollhandler


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Sep 16, 2009)

Esther said:


> That's exactly what I mean!!
> 
> Here's a relevant noggin-scratchin' story for you:
> 
> ...



So I read this and thought . . . holy crap that guy was creepy, and then I laughed hysterically by myself for a while. Then I made my way down and read what everyone else had responded and nobody else laughed . . . now I feel bad.


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## BigChaz (Sep 16, 2009)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> So I read this and thought . . . holy crap that guy was creepy, and then I laughed hysterically by myself for a while. Then I made my way down and read what everyone else had responded and nobody else laughed . . . now I feel bad.



We are very serious people. Please take your humor somewhere else, good sir.


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## djudex (Sep 16, 2009)

E-mail addresses are the wrong way to go, just a terrible idea. Instead of asking her for her number give her yours, say something along the lines of "You know, I'm having a really good time with you here. [write down your number on handy piece of papyrus] Here's my number, if you want to hang out some time give me a shout."

By giving her your number you not only say "I'm interested in you" you're also giving her a nice easy escape route if she's just being overly sociable. She may be freaked out by you asking for her number there and then in the moment but by giving her your number you give her time to think about how much more awesomer you might be once she gets home and the means to act on those thoughts


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## Lavasse (Sep 16, 2009)

I had a friend who I swore was into me, she would always want to come over and spend time with me, would rap herself up in my blankets and steal my bed, hell she even wanted to watch porn with me lol. One night she came over and as we went into my room to watch a movie she looks at me and said "oh I'm spending the night I didn't tell you hope thats ok"

So eventually I fall asleep, and when I wake up shes asleep too. I thought ok this is my chance to test this out. So I kinda move closer and put my arm over her trying to cuddle, all of a sudden I hear "Adam can you get your arm off of me" So I pretended I had been sleeping and was like "ooh sorry used to sleeping with just pillows" :doh:


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## BigChaz (Sep 16, 2009)

Lavasse said:


> I had a friend who I swore was into me, she would always want to come over and spend time with me, would rap herself up in my blankets and steal my bed, hell she even wanted to watch porn with me lol. One night she came over and as we went into my room to watch a movie she looks at me and said "oh I'm spending the night I didn't tell you hope thats ok"
> 
> So eventually I fall asleep, and when I wake up shes asleep too. I thought ok this is my chance to test this out. So I kinda move closer and put my arm over her trying to cuddle, all of a sudden I hear "Adam can you get your arm off of me" So I pretended I had been sleeping and was like "ooh sorry used to sleeping with just pillows" :doh:



An unfortunate situation, my friend. Here, enjoy a humorous take on this matter: http://www.laddertheory.com/


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## StarWitness (Sep 16, 2009)

Sometimes I'm not sure if a guy is flirting with me, or I just _want_ him to be flirting with me and reinterpret the situation to make it seem that way. 

Case in point: a few months ago I was at my friend's party, a handful of people I knew and a bunch I didn't. I was chatting with my friends about John Waters' films, and Rikki Lake got mentioned, at which time a guy I didn't know entered the conversation with, "Rikki Lake? I LOVE her! She's so hot!" I just took the statement at face value, but on the ride home, I began to wonder: was he saying that he was into Rikki Lake, or was he saying that he was into chubby brunettes?  I should have chatted him up to try and find out for sure... oh well. Sic transit hookup.


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## SanDiega (Sep 16, 2009)

Lavasse said:


> I had a friend who I swore was into me, she would always want to come over and spend time with me, would rap herself up in my blankets and steal my bed, hell she even wanted to watch porn with me lol. One night she came over and as we went into my room to watch a movie she looks at me and said "oh I'm spending the night I didn't tell you hope thats ok"
> 
> So eventually I fall asleep, and when I wake up shes asleep too. I thought ok this is my chance to test this out. So I kinda move closer and put my arm over her trying to cuddle, all of a sudden I hear "Adam can you get your arm off of me" So I pretended I had been sleeping and was like "ooh sorry used to sleeping with just pillows" :doh:



This is actually bizzarre. Women are weird.


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## Tracii (Sep 17, 2009)

SanDiega said:


> This is actually bizzarre. Women are weird.



That is bizzarre most any guy would try something.Good response tho'.


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## mrfantasy90 (Sep 17, 2009)

I have two things to say,

1. Esther, you should have your bf come to work and kick this foot dudes ass.

2.Chaz or dude who started this tread, when you asked why a girl would do this, all I can say is Girls are freakin crazy!!! God bless em, thats why wwe love them, but its freakin TRUE!!!


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## Lavasse (Sep 17, 2009)

And for the record I'm not a pervert who just tries to cuddle with random women lol.


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## Tad (Sep 17, 2009)

Lavasse said:


> I had a friend who I swore was into me, she would always want to come over and spend time with me, would rap herself up in my blankets and steal my bed, hell she even wanted to watch porn with me lol. One night she came over and as we went into my room to watch a movie she looks at me and said "oh I'm spending the night I didn't tell you hope thats ok"
> 
> So eventually I fall asleep, and when I wake up shes asleep too. I thought ok this is my chance to test this out. So I kinda move closer and put my arm over her trying to cuddle, all of a sudden I hear "Adam can you get your arm off of me" So I pretended I had been sleeping and was like "ooh sorry used to sleeping with just pillows" :doh:



Yah, I'd say you played that one right.....and I hope that afterward you set some some limits on the friend to prevent further frustration!


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## Brach311 (Sep 17, 2009)

Umm...exgirlfriend that liked to bite.

no, not during sex like normal people do.

at the restaurant or park or mall, stuff like that she would just grab my arm or hand and sink her teeth into it. she drew blood on a few occasions and of course left marks that sometimes had to be explained to others later.


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## Melian (Sep 17, 2009)

Lavasse said:


> I had a friend who I swore was into me, she would always want to come over and spend time with me, would rap herself up in my blankets and steal my bed, hell she even wanted to watch porn with me lol. One night she came over and as we went into my room to watch a movie she looks at me and said "oh I'm spending the night I didn't tell you hope thats ok"
> 
> So eventually I fall asleep, and when I wake up shes asleep too. I thought ok this is my chance to test this out. So I kinda move closer and put my arm over her trying to cuddle, all of a sudden I hear "Adam can you get your arm off of me" So I pretended I had been sleeping and was like "ooh sorry used to sleeping with just pillows" :doh:



What a dumb bitch. You can add me to your list of people who think you were 100% being waved in by her. 



Esther said:


> Here's a relevant noggin-scratchin' story for you:
> 
> There is a regular who comes into my work all the time and spends a lot of money. He's probably my dad's age, and he's always polite and talkative with the staff. We looked at him as a good customer so we always went out of our way to say hello to him and ask him how he's doing (it's just courteous if you're seeing that person a few times a week). One morning he came in when I had opened the store by myself and it was still totally empty, and he asked if he could look at the tattoo on my foot. I said, "sure," and stuck out my leg a little. I was wearing a hi-waisted skirt that came to my knee, and a pair of open-top shoes so he could see it just fine. BUT THEN he crouches right down there like he needs to inspect it from an inch away, and starts being all weird, and touches my foot, and comments on the tattoo, and then comments on my skin, and says, "...mind if I just...?" At this point I was sweating and shaking and I froze right up because I'm the biggest sissy on the planet. Then he kissed my foot. Kissed my motherfucking foot. A long, creepy kiss.
> 
> ...



You already know I think this is totally f'd up.


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## rockabelly (Sep 17, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> Doesn't anyone else have a good story to share? Maybe a time you embarrassed yourself? Someone embarrassed you? Like me, you got shot down for no reason you understand? You misread someones signals?



I worked as a nightclub DJ years ago and a girl who I had never seen before sits down at a table in front of the DJ booth with her friend. Her table is inbetween the DJ booth and the dancefloor. She wore this stunning red dress and she was very easy on the eyes and hard to ignore. Every so often she would look up at the DJ booth, smile then continue a conversation with her female friend. I had someone in the DJ booth running th dancefloor lights so I was trying to figure out who she was admiring. Him or me? So, I asked him to get us our shift drink and maybe this would determine who she was looking at. He leaves and she turns and looks my direction and smiles again. "I am one sexy mofo!" I'm thinking to myself. She must be looking at me. 

Cocky, self-centered, egotistical bastard that I am, I eventually walk over to her table and pull up a chair, sit next to her and her friend and introduce myself. "Hi, how ya doin'?" She says hi. "What's your name?" She tells me her name is Pam. I introduce myself, tell her it's nice to meet her and her friend and then say "I couldn't help but notice that you kept staring at me me up and in the DJ booth." She says "What?" and then looks at me like she doesn't know what I'm talking about. So I mention that she kept looking at me up at the booth all night and smiling. Her and her friend started laughing at me and then tell me that there's a clock behind me in the DJ booth and the digits are small and hard to see so she was sqinting to tell what time it was.:doh: It's the only clock in the nightclub.

I was so embarrassed and turned several shades of red. I just had to laugh at myself, joked about it and bought her and her friend drinks. Her and I were married 6 months later. It was one of her favorite stories to tell about how her and the idiot husband met. She was a very funny person.


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Sep 18, 2009)

rockabelly said:


> I worked as a nightclub DJ years ago and a girl who I had never seen before sits down at a table in front of the DJ booth with her friend. Her table is inbetween the DJ booth and the dancefloor. She wore this stunning red dress and she was very easy on the eyes and hard to ignore. Every so often she would look up at the DJ booth, smile then continue a conversation with her female friend. I had someone in the DJ booth running th dancefloor lights so I was trying to figure out who she was admiring. Him or me? So, I asked him to get us our shift drink and maybe this would determine who she was looking at. He leaves and she turns and looks my direction and smiles again. "I am one sexy mofo!" I'm thinking to myself. She must be looking at me.
> 
> Cocky, self-centered, egotistical bastard that I am, I eventually walk over to her table and pull up a chair, sit next to her and her friend and introduce myself. "Hi, how ya doin'?" She says hi. "What's your name?" She tells me her name is Pam. I introduce myself, tell her it's nice to meet her and her friend and then say "I couldn't help but notice that you kept staring at me me up and in the DJ booth." She says "What?" and then looks at me like she doesn't know what I'm talking about. So I mention that she kept looking at me up at the booth all night and smiling. Her and her friend started laughing at me and then tell me that there's a clock behind me in the DJ booth and the digits are small and hard to see so she was sqinting to tell what time it was.:doh: It's the only clock in the nightclub.
> 
> I was so embarrassed and turned several shades of red. I just had to laugh at myself, joked about it and bought her and her friend drinks. Her and I were married 6 months later. It was one of her favorite stories to tell about how her and the idiot husband met. She was a very funny person.



That's the coolest fucking story ever.


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## Inhibited (Sep 18, 2009)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> That's the coolest fucking story ever.



Totally agree, I enjoyed this story heaps.


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## olwen (Sep 18, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> This is a problem I run into sometimes. If it was a confidence issue it would be easy to fix. But this is more like a "not sure" issue, know what I mean? If you judge right you are golden, if you judge wrong you potentially offend someone / embarrass yourself. But hey, it's all part of the game, that's why relationships and dating are one of the hardest things in life!
> 
> I broke up with my girlfriend...oh...2 months ago or so I guess, maybe a little longer. I met her at a car garage when I was waiting to get my car aligned. I asked her if she wanted to meet for dinner and she said she was not interested, then she left because her car was ready. 5 minutes later she walked back in and gave me her phone number.* If I had assumed she was just being civil with me then I never would have gotten to enjoy my time with her! I've started going for it more often lately because hell, I'd rather be embarrassed for 5 minutes by a girl at JC Penny than miss out on a good relationship for a few months. *
> 
> What about you other folks? How do you deal with it? I'm pretty happy with the way things work for me, but everyone has their own deal. I'm pretty sure this is one of the hardest parts of the dating game for most people.



I'm like this too. I'd rather take the chance and know for sure whether a guy is interested or not than to walk away wondering what if. Means I've been shot down quite a few times, okay, quite a lot of times, but each time kind of shows me what to look out for. I can only hope that by now I've figured it out, but then who knows. Sometimes people can attracted to you but still not want to take that risk for all sorts of reasons. Whatever the reason, it's their loss.


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## Horseman (Sep 18, 2009)

SanDiega said:


> I am consumed with guilt. I enjoy flirting with lesbians.




I'm not sure that I can believe you and hereby request photographic evidence as proof.


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## olwen (Sep 18, 2009)

Lavasse said:


> I had a friend who I swore was into me, she would always want to come over and spend time with me, would rap herself up in my blankets and steal my bed, hell she even wanted to watch porn with me lol. One night she came over and as we went into my room to watch a movie she looks at me and said "oh I'm spending the night I didn't tell you hope thats ok"
> 
> So eventually I fall asleep, and when I wake up shes asleep too. I thought ok this is my chance to test this out. So I kinda move closer and put my arm over her trying to cuddle, all of a sudden I hear "Adam can you get your arm off of me" So I pretended I had been sleeping and was like "ooh sorry used to sleeping with just pillows" :doh:



What you did made perfect sense. She on the other hand was sending you mixed signals. Boo on her. This kind of thing has happened to me as well some years ago. One night at a bar, a close friend and I were sitting next to each other and talking about nothing in particular. He said something sweet so I thought to kiss his cheek but he turned his head and kissed me instead. Then invited me to come back to his place. All of that shocked and also pissed me off because I had been sending him clear signals of interest for a while before that. I had even asked him out, but he had made it clear he wasn't interested, so why the fuck did he kiss me and act like I was supposed to forget that he had turned me down before?  I never figured that one out.


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## Esther (Sep 18, 2009)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> So I read this and thought . . . holy crap that guy was creepy, and then I laughed hysterically by myself for a while. Then I made my way down and read what everyone else had responded and nobody else laughed . . . now I feel bad.



Oh I laugh about it now, it really is an absurd thing to happen to somebody! I told this story to ALL my friends and most of my family, and I used a lot of theatrical gestures and expressions... most people were extremely amused by it (I made sure not to tell my dad though... dads don't tend to find that sort of thing very funny when it's happening to their daughter). A lot of things are devastating at the moment, but have the potential to become really funny in retrospect!



Melian said:


> You already know I think this is totally f'd up.


It definitely is... but as time has passed, I found that sharing it with people and making it funny has helped me get over it a bit. As tough as I talk, though, I still sweat and shake when that guy comes into my work looking for me.


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## StarWitness (Sep 18, 2009)

olwen said:


> I'm like this too. I'd rather take the chance and know for sure whether a guy is interested or not than to walk away wondering what if. Means I've been shot down quite a few times, okay, quite a lot of times, but each time kind of shows me what to look out for. I can only hope that by now I've figured it out, but then who knows. Sometimes people can attracted to you but still not want to take that risk for all sorts of reasons. Whatever the reason, it's their loss.



That takes brass balls (or ovaries, depending). I'm trying to be as confident as you two are, but damn. I'm impressed.


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## likeitmatters (Sep 19, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> So, as the title to this thread says, this is the thread for posting times you have been confused by the people you are attracted to. This happened to me on Saturday:
> 
> I was at JC Penny shopping for a new cologne because the one I used to wear is no longer available. I was smelling various colognes and I came across one called "Green Irish Tweed" that basically almost made me gay for myself. I told the girl behind the counter that I may have just found the scent for me. I sprayed some on my neck and then told her I'd buy it. Well, from behind me this stunning girl comes up from where she was at the perfume counter shopping. She puts one hand on my upper arm and one hand on the side of my belly and leans in and smells my neck. She tells me "Wow, I could get used to that smell.". The girl behind the counter arcs an eyebrow at me and gives me a smile like "You just scored, dawg".
> 
> ...



she probably wanted you to buy her something from the mens counter or even the womans counter..all that sucking up to a stranger kinda gives you pause to think that she wanted something from your wallet?

:bow:


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## olwen (Sep 19, 2009)

StarWitness said:


> That takes brass balls (or ovaries, depending). I'm trying to be as confident as you two are, but damn. I'm impressed.


 
Thanks, I think. It's really not that hard tho. And context makes all the difference, but no matter the situation, at some point you can just say something like "Hey, I'd love to talk some more about this. Are you up for a cup of coffee/a drink?" If they say yes (most of the time they say yes), then that is your chance to get to feel the other person out. It's not a date either, it's a way to decide if you might click with that person enough to maybe go on an actual date later. There's no pressure and no real expectations except to kill some time and have a decent conversation. If you find yourself clicking with the other person, then when it's time to go and part ways you can ask if they want to do something similar again, or you can flat out say you're interested and ask if they might be too. If at any point the other person says no to any of your requests you can accept it gracefully with or without humor and continue on with whatever else you all are doing. 

The good thing about that approach is that if you are shy, then you don't have to worry too much about putting yourself out there completely. You're not asking for a date, you're not asking for a number per say, you're just testing the waters. If it turns out there is no chemistry then you don't have to feel bad or rejected because you didn't ask for a number and it's likely you might never see that person again. It's also a nonthreatening approach because you leave all the decisions in the other person's hands, and they might not feel like they're being put on the spot.


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## Horseman (Sep 21, 2009)

OK, let's try this double head-scratcher on for size.

*Woman 1, wife of 22 years who cheated for eight of them with six different men, which I tried (but ultimately failed) to overcome emotionally for the sake of our two children:
*
-- Moves 900 miles away for her career, taking our 16-year-old daughter with her.
-- Tells me we should inform the kids that we're getting divorced, though I talk her out of that at the last minute (not the divorce, just the notification) because the move is difficult enough for our daughter when she thinks the family might still be reunited and because it would have been unfair to tell our son such a thing and then push him onto an airplane for Japan where he's spending the next eight months for school.
-- Tells me, the one who unfortunately focuses on the regrets and wishing we had "done better," that I just "need to get over it."
-- Informs me that I need to "learn from our mistakes" and be prepared to "get it right with the next person."
-- Has already started going places at times on weekends and evenings with "people from work," without specifying *which* people from work, and sometimes being hard for our daughter to find by cell phone, even when she should be accessible.

Then this woman reads my blog one day and sees a comment from a female co-worker of mine. A _nothing_ comment; something like "Hope your Labor Day weekend was nice." Clicks through to co-worker's blog and sees a similar pleasantry posted by me.

This woman, my estranged wife, calls and wants to know "_Who is this girl?_" Asks what I have going on with her. (Nothing.) And, lectures me on how I should behave when communicating with my co-workers. ... People will think I'm fooling around with the girl in the other department, she says. ... "Don't do anything that would embarrass your children if they found out," she says.

_Is she effing kidding?_

But sadly it made me second-guess the communications with the co-worker and wonder whether others, both inside our business and outside, would draw similar untoward conclusions about our non-relationship.


*Woman 2, said female co-worker, admittedly much younger than me, not to mention shapely, active and cute (although formerly heavier, as she's told everybody we work with):
*
I speak with her briefly about our blog exchanges, primarily asking whether our employer -- who reads her blog because she prods everyone to do so, though I doubt he reads mine -- has said anything to her about any of the comments I've left there.

"No, why should he?" she responds.

"Well, he shouldn't," I said, "but I got this call from my wife ..."

She chuckles. She assures me nobody would think that our comments are anything other than co-worker friendly.

Then she:

-- Engages in a conversation in my department that she jumped into halfway, supposedly thinking she "heard someone say he was taking his shirt off." I said, "Nobody wants to see me with my shirt off." Her response, with a wink: "Don't be so sure about that."
-- Stops what she's doing on two different occasions when I happen to patronize a business where she also works part-time, so she can come up and hug me.
-- Emphasizes in conversation with me on at least a half-dozen occasions that food is still her weakness and that the women in her family are such good cooks. (Best route to the heart? ...)
-- Tells a story to co-workers in her department about a liaison she had with someone in her past. I'm stopped by her friends who say, "You have to listen to this and see what we put up with every day." During the story, twice -- not once, but twice -- said woman describes this ex-lover as "really built," each time emphasizing "built" by reaching out and touching _my_ shoulder and chest. ... The story's climax was her telling the guy, "Lying next to you makes me feel like I'm all woman, because you're all man." (Is that supposed to make me go "ewww," or is it a clue?)
-- Starts calling me at my desk when she's off-duty and I'm on just to tell me something she was thinking about, or that she saw, or a song she just heard, or for no reason at all.
-- Comes into the office while I'm working late and alone, and she's wearing the _awesome_ black leotard from her adult dance class she's taking. Comes to _my_ side of the building to use the phone for a routine call to her mother. Yet she has a phone at her own desk. And of course owns a cell phone. ... She stops to talk with me for a few minutes, seemingly leaving only because another co-worker shows up to interrupt the privacy.
-- Wraps her arm around me on two different occasions to pull me closer -- actually, to pull me _close_ -- while we're conversing _in a group_ at work.
-- And, as we bumped into one another with nobody else around at our workplace's back door on Friday, she tells me about her cleavage. That is, how earlier Friday she needed a place to hold something while she used both of her hands for work at an assignment outside the building, and that she rested the object (a digital camera) between her breasts, prompting an onlooker to ask if he could buy that camera from her. ... My only words: "Oh, mercy."

Just as thick-skulled me starts thinking "Does this girl have an interest in me?" ... she shows up at the office again Saturday night as I'm working late and alone. And brings the guy she went to dinner with. Out-of-town-at-a-really-nice-place dinner. And the guy is a former intern of mine. And then she goes home and e-mails me about how much fun they had at the restaurant.


OK, so the questions are:

*Is my wife effing psycho?
*
*What in the world is this other girl doing? Is she a semi-closeted FFA? Or just a total tease?
*
*Should I quit my job, throw away my cell phone, smash my home computer with a sledgehammer, drop out of civilization and move into the wilderness -- just me and my two dogs for companionship -- so I never again have to figure out women?*

I have a feeling there are no right answers.


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## HDANGEL15 (Sep 21, 2009)

Horseman said:


> OK, so the questions are:
> 
> *Is my wife effing psycho?
> *
> ...



*1/ YES YOUR WIFE IS INSANE....and she may not want you, but she certainly doesn't want anyone else to EITHER.

2/ STAY away from the psycho girl from work..she is just loving any attention she can get from you, probably a FFA of some sort..but do you really want to mix it up where you work? ya..shes a nutjob *IMHO**


*
Hang in there handsome Horseman....I've been through the ringer too, and it's a long long story that won't end for me enough to move on in my life...and he's not even in the picture anymore..just the Motorcycle that he started rebuilding with me and then split on, and the shop that it is at, has cost me a fortune and says *hey he effed you over, we are picking up the pieces* this is after it's been there more then an ENTIRE YEAR!!!! I WANT MY FATBOY (no pun intended, that's what the model of Harley is)....and I want to ride it (again no pun intended )... *


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## likeitmatters (Sep 21, 2009)

Lavasse said:


> I had a friend who I swore was into me, she would always want to come over and spend time with me, would rap herself up in my blankets and steal my bed, hell she even wanted to watch porn with me lol. One night she came over and as we went into my room to watch a movie she looks at me and said "oh I'm spending the night I didn't tell you hope thats ok"
> 
> So eventually I fall asleep, and when I wake up shes asleep too. I thought ok this is my chance to test this out. So I kinda move closer and put my arm over her trying to cuddle, all of a sudden I hear "Adam can you get your arm off of me" So I pretended I had been sleeping and was like "ooh sorry used to sleeping with just pillows" :doh:




what kind of friend comes over to sleep with someone? That sounds strange if some gal or guy asked me to come over and sleep with I would tell sure..I have a spare bed you can sleep..and tell them sorry I am not motel 6 and laugh about it


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## BigChaz (Sep 22, 2009)

So, I went back to JC Penny today during my lunch break to buy a belt and saw Miss Cologne Saleslady at her counter. I went up and thanked her for the discount again and kinda laughed at the situation last time. I told her "that girl the other day was cute and everything, but you look better and smell better". In the context of the conversation it was very funny, we both laughed and now I have a date on Friday, so go me.

(Don't be jealous ladies, I'm still single)


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## Esther (Sep 22, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> So, I went back to JC Penny today during my lunch break to buy a belt and saw Miss Cologne Saleslady at her counter. I went up and thanked her for the discount again and kinda laughed at the situation last time. I told her "that girl the other day was cute and everything, but you look better and smell better". In the context of the conversation it was very funny, we both laughed and now I have a date on Friday, so go me.
> 
> (Don't be jealous ladies, I'm still single)



GO YOU GO!!!!
You proved my "don't ask sales people out" theory totally wrong! You rule.


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## Starling (Sep 22, 2009)

That's so awesome! Congrats


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## joswitch (Sep 22, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> So, I went back to JC Penny today during my lunch break to buy a belt and saw Miss Cologne Saleslady at her counter. I went up and thanked her for the discount again and kinda laughed at the situation last time. I told her "that girl the other day was cute and everything, but you look better and smell better". In the context of the conversation it was very funny, we both laughed and now I have a date on Friday, so go me.
> 
> (Don't be jealous ladies, I'm still single)



High Five Big Chaz! 

Hope things go great for you both on Friday!


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## Lavasse (Sep 22, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> So, I went back to JC Penny today during my lunch break to buy a belt and saw Miss Cologne Saleslady at her counter. I went up and thanked her for the discount again and kinda laughed at the situation last time. I told her "that girl the other day was cute and everything, but you look better and smell better". In the context of the conversation it was very funny, we both laughed and now I have a date on Friday, so go me.
> 
> (Don't be jealous ladies, I'm still single)



WTG man


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## WillSpark (Sep 22, 2009)

I scratch my head both at the girls and myself. I apparently can only attract girls I feel a completely platonic friendship for.


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## BigChaz (Sep 23, 2009)

WillSpark said:


> I scratch my head both at the girls and myself. I apparently can only attract girls I feel a completely platonic friendship for.



Alcohol



(not a serious reply)


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## The Orange Mage (Sep 23, 2009)

One time back around my junior year I had to do a stint in summer school this one girl who was there from a different school hung out with me a little if you know what I mean and at the end of that year gave me her number. She was kinda cute but not my type physically or in terms of her personality. I simply toss the number. A few months later I bumped into a friend from that other school who informed me that she was now married and had been engaged for several months at the time of her giving me her number. Wtf?


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## Horseman (Sep 25, 2009)

WillSpark said:


> I scratch my head both at the girls and myself. I apparently can only attract girls I feel a completely platonic friendship for.



That was me 25 years ago.

I wasn't after the hottest, most popular girls. I figured they were out of my league. But I attracted lots of girls who just held no interest for me at all beyond the fact that they were kinda cool, or had a great sense of humor, were neat to hang out with, whatever.

You end up finding out that "cool," "great sense of humor," and "neat to hang out with" are necessities to survive marriage.

I actually had a tiny little red-headed girl in my class who -- from sophomore all the way through senior year -- was constantly leaving me cards and gifts. She'd get my locker partner to open up the door so she could place home-baked cookies, or a cupcake on my birthday, or whatever, in there for me to find. I swear, _the sweetest girl who ever lived_. And I would always talk to her, and thank her, and while she was very plain in appearance, in the back of my mind wonder whether I should ask her out on just one date. ... But I didn't want to lead her on.

I think she has some advanced degree now and a bunch of beautiful kids and makes enough money that, at least when I last ran into her at a reunion 15 years ago, her husband could afford to continue pursuing his band as a career. ... _And loved him enough to let him._

And she was still just the sweetest person I ever met.

I can't offer too many regrets, because my two kids are the greatest thing that ever happened to me, and I wouldn't have them without dating and marrying their mom.

But looking back, that was a girl who deserved a chance and I was a little bit blind and dumb not to see it.


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## littlefairywren (Sep 25, 2009)

*Is my wife effing psycho?
*
*What in the world is this other girl doing? Is she a semi-closeted FFA? Or just a total tease?
*
*Should I quit my job, throw away my cell phone, smash my home computer with a sledgehammer, drop out of civilization and move into the wilderness -- just me and my two dogs for companionship -- so I never again have to figure out women?*

Yes to both!
My husband was somewhat the same before our divorce. Happy to chase a bit of stuff when it suited, but if I showed any interest (and yes I am talking platonically because I don't cheat) he would have the gall to question me!

Your female co-worker sounds like she is or was using you as some kind of confidence cructh. Likes to tease and play and any kind of attention will give her the buzz she craves. *total tease*

Whilst it sounds attractive to become a hermit (yes I had considered becoming a cat lady lol) not all females are crazy.... unless there is no chocolate in the house in my case!


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## tankgirl (Sep 25, 2009)

This is a LOT of head scratching, on your part and mine:

My other half has a very active libido. Changing this about him is not happening, obviously. So I have two rules: Not in my bed, and tell me before I find out. Not hard. 
*scratch*

I say I want to play around too, and JUMP! Right on my ass. 
*scratch*

I find a lot of guys who like me platonically, but no one who is interested like I am. Highschool was hell for that. But I keep attracting all the freaks that have no hope, no future, no work, and no purpose. And the guys I'm attracted to at least have a job. 
*scratch*

Oddly I keep trying these jobless ones, in case one might be successful. Stupid!
*scratch*

The gals I flirt with? Straight, the lot. Or so they say, till I see em walk out with another girl- obviously not a sister. Sisters don't usually grope eachother like that.
*scratch*

The few females I have found around here are psycho drama queens. ICKY!

The town I like in is awful for things like that too. For some reason, just about everyone in the local job force has less of an education than I do. These people will argue about: how you spell your name; whether it's spelled "toothbrushes" or "toothbrush's" (or nuggets vs. nugget's; items vs. item's; etc); where in town the big building RIGHT behind your is; whether that colour is fuchsia, magenta, barbie pink, or dark barbie pink; the parking spot with YOUR name/apartment number on it; whether ME or Vista is better; or anything else you can think of that only someone completely dumbtarded would say. 
These are the people that ask people holding signs that say "OUT OF GAS" with an empty gas can right next to them if they're out of gas.
These are the twits that ask if you got a haircut when you shaved off your 27" dreadlocks.
The morons that ask if you broke your leg when you're wearing a hard hip cast and using crutches.
The stupidheads that burn their starter up because the car died and it won't restart- when it ran out of gas.
The same fucks who do the above and blame you as the responding technician.

The sort of people that if you say, "Pass the salt," all they hear is "Your cooking sucks." Or "Please slow down" turns into "You can't drive!"

Or my personal favourite:
The sort of people that when they find you crying in a corner because you're scared, lonely, hurt, tired, and hungry, they: scream nastily at you to cheer up. When they find out you're lonely, they tell you you should have spoken up. Then they don't believe that you even said ANYTHING, when in reality, you were trying to get someone's attention (anyone's attention) for over an hour, trying to get out of there. Hungry and tired are told to take a back seat to whatever the person who finds you thinks is more important. Scared, well, no one wants to admit to that. And hurt? What could you have been hurt by? Nothing's happened, you've just been ignored, insulted, screamed at, not listened to, and generally wish that you HAD been ditched back at the last stop. No reason to have a problem!
The people who call you stupid and wonder why you won't look at them or talk to them for an hour.
The people who insult your hair, clothes, style, and breeding in one sentance and then wonder why you run away, nearly or completely in tears.

The people who call a lady "Sir", and wonder why they just got their head handed to them on a brass platter.

PEOPLE IN GENERAL make me scratch my head. A LOT.
Scratching does not aid the thinking process much.

See the angst post for more head scratching.


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## BigChaz (Sep 26, 2009)

I guess I should update this thread with my date in case anyone is remotely interested.

Holy. God. Was. It. Horrible. At first it started off great, she was definitely into me, we were having a good time...then we got past the introductions. Dumb. dumb. dumb dumb dumb dumb. I know this sounds mean, but seriously, I couldn't even hold a conversation with her. 

I don't have any specific examples, but just about every topic of conversation ended up with me wanting to slam my head into the table. I am a pretty laid back guy and everything, but damn...no thanks. But hey, this is all part of the dating game so time to find my next victim.

Also, before anyone accuses me of just being unnecessarily harsh on her or something, just keep in mind she is really dumb.


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## Horseman (Sep 27, 2009)

tankgirl said:


> This is a LOT of head scratching, on your part and mine:
> 
> My other half has a very active libido. Changing this about him is not happening, obviously. So I have two rules: Not in my bed, and tell me before I find out. Not hard.
> *scratch*
> ...




This seems like an unsustainable situation.


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## Horseman (Sep 27, 2009)

littlefairywren said:


> Your female co-worker sounds like she is or was using you as some kind of confidence cructh. Likes to tease and play and any kind of attention will give her the buzz she craves.



I've been thinking along these lines ... and I'm still married, though that's pretty certain to change when we've been separated a year (a legal requirement in our state) because the wife says "it's over" ... so I've been trying to keep my head clear of untoward thoughts and I've certainly made no advances toward this co-worker.

But my co-worker went on a spur of the moment road trip this weekend (a 1,000-mile round-trip planned only Friday afternoon ) with her childhood best friend (female). I cautioned that the weather forecast along the whole route and in the vicinity of the outdoor event was atrocious -- rain and cold. They'd already booked a room and went anyway.

On Saturday, she called my desk phone (the only number she has for me) around noon to say I had been right, the weather was awful enough that it was becoming a little bit dangerous to drive. They were getting near their destination, though, and so proceeding on. ... But she said on the message that maybe they should've listened to me.

No big. That's just the kind of message a friend leaves for a friend under such circumstances. 

Then she calls around 4:30 in the afternoon and reaches me at the desk after I arrive for work. (I work six days, so, yeah, Saturdays, too.) She talks to me for about 15 minutes about how dreadful (but sort of dreadfully funny) the whole, soaked experience had been, and how they weren't staying overnight as planned and were already on their way home. She even handed the phone over to her friend to tell part of the story and her friend -- who I hardly know -- talked to me like we were pals. :huh:

They asked me to look up a phone number for a motel along the way because they were getting the heck out of Dodge (so to speak) and weren't staying at the place they'd booked. I listened to the stories, laughed with them, and helped 'em out with the number. Still pretty mundane. 

Then, the girl calls me back a third time. This one was just because the rain had finally ended near sunset, and she "saw the most amazing rainbow" and said she was trying to take pictures of it out the window while her friend drove. But, she said, "It's beautiful and I just wanted to tell you about it."

Ooooooookaaaaaaayyy ... that sounds a lot less like someone just trying to mess with my head. After all, she's 400 miles away and hanging out with her best friend and decides to call _me_ because a rainbow is pretty.

Which, because I'd decided she was probably just teasing me, still kind of messes with my head. :doh:

I can see some of her words and actions in person could be interpreted as just for the sake of attention. But calling me when she's on the road with her friend seems more like someone who ... who ... who is not alone and is in the midst of something else, decides she actually wants to talk to _me_.

Maybe? 

I'm still going to be playing it _very_ safe ...


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## HDANGEL15 (Sep 27, 2009)

littlefairywren said:


> *What in the world is this other girl doing? Is she a semi-closeted FFA? Or just a total tease?
> *Your female co-worker sounds like she is or was using you as some kind of confidence cructh. Likes to tease and play and any kind of attention will give her the buzz she craves. *total tease*



*I agree 200% even after her 3 phone calls..you are older and wiser, someone she KNOWS is there because you are working..it's safe..it can't go anywhere ...

*


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## jdwhitak (Sep 27, 2009)

Even if you think she is into you don't do anything about it. You never get your meat where you get your bread! She could be trying to set you and your company up for a big fat sexual harassment suit. Don't think that shit doesn't happen either. It happened to the General Manager where I work. He was messing around with this girl and then she decided to file suit. He was fired the next day. $100k a year job down the drain! It's not worth it.


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## olwen (Sep 27, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> I guess I should update this thread with my date in case anyone is remotely interested.
> 
> Holy. God. Was. It. Horrible. At first it started off great, she was definitely into me, we were having a good time...then we got past the introductions. Dumb. dumb. dumb dumb dumb dumb. I know this sounds mean, but seriously, I couldn't even hold a conversation with her.
> 
> ...



Oh no! Sorry the date was awful. There will be a next time tho.


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## Melian (Sep 27, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> I guess I should update this thread with my date in case anyone is remotely interested.
> 
> Holy. God. Was. It. Horrible. At first it started off great, she was definitely into me, we were having a good time...then we got past the introductions. Dumb. dumb. dumb dumb dumb dumb. I know this sounds mean, but seriously, I couldn't even hold a conversation with her.
> 
> ...



Dumb women need love, too!! 

Hope the next one is better!


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## joswitch (Sep 27, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> I guess I should update this thread with my date in case anyone is remotely interested.
> 
> Holy. God. Was. It. Horrible. At first it started off great, she was definitely into me, we were having a good time...then we got past the introductions. Dumb. dumb. dumb dumb dumb dumb. I know this sounds mean, but seriously, I couldn't even hold a conversation with her.
> 
> ...



Now you see this is why you should always carry something shiney in your pocket - just spin that around on the table ... and watch the eyes of dumb folks go OOOOooooooOOOOOOooooooOOOOOoooo


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## Horseman (Sep 27, 2009)

jdwhitak said:


> Even if you think she is into you don't do anything about it. You never get your meat where you get your bread! She could be trying to set you and your company up for a big fat sexual harassment suit. Don't think that shit doesn't happen either. It happened to the General Manager where I work. He was messing around with this girl and then she decided to file suit. He was fired the next day. $100k a year job down the drain! It's not worth it.



Well, at least she doesn't work in my department. I'm not her boss; didn't hire her, I don't evaluate her performance, and I have no control over whether she keeps her job.

I did forget to mention that when she called the first time Saturday, she told me on the voicemail message to call her back. But I don't have her cell phone number, so I figured she'd either call me back ... or not ... either way OK.

She did, as I noted, call me back. (Twice.) And the second time she said, "I forgot to give you my number. So write it down now. Better yet, put it in your cell phone."

So I did.

But I won't be calling her first. She'll have to keep calling me. ... Which I'll admit I'm totally fine with.

And though I do appreciate the attention, even if she's seriously interested in me there won't be anything beyond platonic at least until the divorce is filed, if not final, because that's one of my personal lines in the sand.


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## Horseman (Oct 2, 2009)

Horseman said:


> But I won't be calling her first. She'll have to keep calling me. ... Which I'll admit I'm totally fine with.



And which has happened now, twice. A 30-minute call a couple of nights ago and just completed a 20-minute call tonight. Nothing at all romantic, just talking.

(Among other things, I've helped her this week to research and plan the negotiation of buying a used vehicle. I sold cars for awhile, until I got fired for -- I swear -- "Being too damned nice to everybody." But it was time well-spent because it taught me all the tricks, which I wouldn't use, which got me fired but the knowledge protects me now.)

Anyway, it will be interesting when the next phone bill comes out, because I suspect the not-yet-ex-wife (who is still on the same phone plan so we can all call each other, kids included, for free) will be checking the numbers I've called or have been called from and will be acting all suspicious-like.

Speaking of that not-yet-ex, she called me last night to handle some co-parenting business. She asked what I was doing and I said, "baking cookies."

"Oh, that's just _great_ for you," she said, showing her typical (mean-spirited) concern about my weight. "Just how often do you bake and eat a bunch of cookies?"

"This is the second time," (since she left a few months ago), I told her, "and the first time I didn't eat them all. I took some to work and shared them."

Shared with whom, she asked? I told her, "D" (a guy from my department) and "G" (this girl).

"Oh," she said, "_that_ figures."

I responded nonchalantly: "Yeah, 'D' is always cooking and bringing stuff to work to share, so I brought something for once."

"It wasn't 'D' that I meant when I said 'that figures,'" she said.

"I know it wasn't," I responded. "But it's strange what apparently goes through your mind after finding out that _I gave a girl a cookie_."

That was a conversation-ender. :goodbye:


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## littlefairywren (Oct 2, 2009)

Horseman said:


> I've been thinking along these lines ... and I'm still married, though that's pretty certain to change when we've been separated a year (a legal requirement in our state) because the wife says "it's over" ... so I've been trying to keep my head clear of untoward thoughts and I've certainly made no advances toward this co-worker.
> 
> But my co-worker went on a spur of the moment road trip this weekend (a 1,000-mile round-trip planned only Friday afternoon ) with her childhood best friend (female). I cautioned that the weather forecast along the whole route and in the vicinity of the outdoor event was atrocious -- rain and cold. They'd already booked a room and went anyway.
> 
> ...



Okay, don't know about anyone else but I would do that if I had a thing for a guy.....wish you were here and we could hold hands and share it kinda thing!

She knows what she is doing. I wonder though if she is maybe mixing up your genuine kindness and thoughtful ways as a friend, as having romantic feelings toward her?


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## Horseman (Oct 2, 2009)

littlefairywren said:


> Okay, don't know about anyone else but I would do that if I had a thing for a guy.....wish you were here and we could hold hands and share it kinda thing!
> 
> She knows what she is doing. I wonder though if she is maybe mixing up your genuine kindness and thoughtful ways as a friend, as having romantic feelings toward her?




Well, I wouldn't say she necessarily has anything mixed up. :blush:

However, in addition to the conversation now posted above (which I must've been writing about while you were writing in response to the first one) she's dropped by while I was working alone or has talked to me on a couple of other occasions this week at work (in the parking lot, etc.) when nobody else was around.

More than once she's related how, on a couple of dates in the last year or so, she's been asked by guys -- who she'd decided early on in the date she wasn't all that interested in -- what she was "looking for" in a relationship. Her response has been, "Just friendship ... and good food. That's what I want out of life." (Remember, she's now quite active and fit, but didn't used to be.)

She also told me about a guy where she used to work who mistook something she said (or, I would guess, just went too far in response to the _very_ flirty kind of person she is) and sent her a really suggestive e-mail and said he'd often thought about her in that context. ... I certainly haven't _remotely_ done such a thing, but maybe that was her way of warning me not to?

One of her phone calls to me this week was in response to her "hearing I went home at the end of the day not feeling well" and wanting to make sure I was doing OK. ... Could be only friendly interest. Or could be more.

But she also went out this week for dinner with the younger guy we both know, who is a short, round, jovial fellow. Second time for those two in the last month or so. She's told other people at the office she doesn't consider those to be "dates," just "dinner with a friend." ... I have a hunch he's more hopeful than that.

Anyway, I can't completely figure out if she's actually _looking for somebody_ (to grow fat and old with?) or just several somebodies (friends only) to spend some time in the here and now with. Or, still possible, just out for attention.


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## littlefairywren (Oct 2, 2009)

Horseman said:


> Well, I wouldn't say she necessarily has anything mixed up. :blush:
> 
> However, in addition to the conversation now posted above (which I must've been writing about while you were writing in response to the first one) she's dropped by while I was working alone or has talked to me on a couple of other occasions this week at work (in the parking lot, etc.) when nobody else was around.
> 
> ...



I so hate all the sticky stuff, trying to work out where someones head is at. I still get the impression that you're like her little morale booster.....most females like attention and the feeling of admiration from another.


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## Horseman (Oct 2, 2009)

littlefairywren said:


> I so hate all the sticky stuff, trying to work out where someones head is at. I still get the impression that you're like her little morale booster.....most females like attention and the feeling of admiration from another.



Yeah, I'm not good with that. I was never good with girls when I was younger. Scared to death of them, actually.

Lots and lots keeps happening with this one, though. Definitely head-scratching things.

Just thought of this one.

A couple of weeks ago she asked me questions about my kids; till then she wasn't even sure how many I had (two), etc. Then, just earlier this week, we were talking (just the two of us at my cubicle, but surrounded by co-workers in their cubes) and the subject was her part-time job, where she deals with lots of children. (Parties and public appearances for a restaurant chain.) I commented that she would really need to enjoy children to do that job.

"Kids are OK," she said. "But I don't really think I have to have kids of my own to make me happy."

Which was not exactly the point.

My response was, "Certainly not everybody does. But for me, the greatest thing in the world is being 'Daddy,' even when they're now 16 and 21."

Yesterday, in a conversation involving a third person, again her part-time job came up and the other co-worker made the same comment I'd made, about how you'd need to love kids to work with them as she does in her part-time job. Just a couple of days after the same conversation with me, what was her response?

"I was always a little bit indifferent to children, but the more I'm around them, the more I'm enjoying them."

I scratched my head. On the inside, anyway, with imaginary fingers.


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## littlefairywren (Oct 2, 2009)

Horseman said:


> Yeah, I'm not good with that. I was never good with girls when I was younger. Scared to death of them, actually.
> 
> Lots and lots keeps happening with this one, though. Definitely head-scratching things.
> 
> ...



You are starting to make me feel like giving her a good shake lol

Maybe it is just a comfort thing that she feels with you, like a soft safety blanket. 

Years ago (much younger), I was working closely with a male and I felt a connection with him and discovered to my horror that I was flirting with him:doh:.....someone made a comment about how I acted with him. I had no idea I was doing it so I pulled back the reins immediately. Hmmmm, I wonder if this is your scenario Horseman? Did you happen to mention her age and I missed it?


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## chicken legs (Oct 3, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> I guess I should update this thread with my date in case anyone is remotely interested.
> 
> Holy. God. Was. It. Horrible. At first it started off great, she was definitely into me, we were having a good time...then we got past the introductions. Dumb. dumb. dumb dumb dumb dumb. I know this sounds mean, but seriously, I couldn't even hold a conversation with her.
> 
> ...



I dont know ...I am not a wordy person to begin with so when I am really attracted to someone..I can't hold a conversation with them to save my life.


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## Lavasse (Oct 3, 2009)

Horseman,
I'm glad I'm not the only one who's confused by women lol.


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## Horseman (Oct 3, 2009)

littlefairywren said:


> You are starting to make me feel like giving her a good shake lol
> 
> Years ago (much younger), I was working closely with a male and I felt a connection with him and discovered to my horror that I was flirting with him:doh:.....someone made a comment about how I acted with him. I had no idea I was doing it so I pulled back the reins immediately. Hmmmm, I wonder if this is your scenario Horseman? Did you happen to mention her age and I missed it?




I might have mentioned it much earlier.

She's 29. ... Graduated from college, traveled Europe (more than once), shouldn't be clueless.

(And that puts her, by a little bit, within the "acceptable range" under Maxim magazine's half-serious dating guidelines. That would be: Guy's age, divided by 2, plus 7, equals "not creepy." ... In this case, 43/2=21.5, 21.5+7=28.5, she's 29.5, OK by a whole year. :bow: )

She's traveling with her best friend again this weekend. Road-tripping to a concert in another state.

It'll be interesting to see if she finds a reason to call me again from the road. I pretty much expect her NOT to. If she DOES, well ...


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## littlefairywren (Oct 3, 2009)

Horseman said:


> I might have mentioned it much earlier.
> 
> She's 29. ... Graduated from college, traveled Europe (more than once), shouldn't be clueless.
> 
> ...



Yeah, she knows then.....
Now you have me doing sums for who I know and I keep getting - yes he IS creepy lol


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## Horseman (Oct 4, 2009)

littlefairywren said:


> Yeah, she knows then.....



Question is, does she know she's leading me on and that's the message she seriously wants me to receive? Or does she know what she's doing to my head (and already-broken heart) and it's all on a lark?



littlefairywren said:


> Now you have me doing sums for who I know and I keep getting - yes he IS creepy lol



Ummmmm ... eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww? :huh:


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## olwen (Oct 4, 2009)

Horseman said:


> Question is, does she know she's leading me on and that's the message she seriously wants me to receive? Or does she know what she's doing to my head (and already-broken heart) and it's all on a lark?
> 
> 
> 
> Ummmmm ... eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww? :huh:



You could save yourself a lot of head scratching if you just flat out ask her what she wants from you.


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## Linda (Oct 4, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> .....
> 
> 
> P.S. - I smell great right now




I was kind of hoping this post was of the scratch-and-sniff variety.


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## Horseman (Oct 4, 2009)

olwen said:


> You could save yourself a lot of head scratching if you just flat out ask her what she wants from you.



Perhaps at the expense of great embarrassment and humiliation.


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## olwen (Oct 4, 2009)

Horseman said:


> Perhaps at the expense of great embarrassment and humiliation.



Would that really be worse than all the headaches and drama you are going thru now? At worst she could cuss you out at the top of her lungs, laugh at you and convince other people to laugh at you and call you a horrible jerk who needs to get a life - which I highly doubt she will do, and at best she could admit that yeah she has the hots for you and isn't sure what to do next. If it were me I would want to know. I just couldn't take all that unnecessary drama.


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## littlefairywren (Oct 5, 2009)

Horseman said:


> Question is, does she know she's leading me on and that's the message she seriously wants me to receive? Or does she know what she's doing to my head (and already-broken heart) and it's all on a lark?
> 
> 
> 
> Ummmmm ... eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww? :huh:



I think olwen has made a good point, the only way you will really know is by asking. If she is doing this for a lark or playing with you then you need to distance yourself from her quick smart. You have already been through enough drama and heart ache (been there) so I know how it feels.

I get that it might be a difficult thing to come right out and ask, just wondering if there is a round about way of doing it to get some kind of answer without there being too much embarrassment for both of you


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## ToniTails (Oct 5, 2009)

sounds like she was giving herself some kind of ego boost--- the way she answered was so purposely aloof--



BigChaz said:


> So, as the title to this thread says, this is the thread for posting times you have been confused by the people you are attracted to. .....


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## Horseman (Oct 5, 2009)

littlefairywren said:


> I think olwen has made a good point, the only way you will really know is by asking.




Certainly that's the direct route.

I think the direct route at the moment isn't the greatest way to go for a couple of reasons.

1. I'm not divorced (nor divorcing) yet. It's _almost certainly_ going to happen, when our (both nearly grown) kids have their feet well enough on the ground (and back home) for it. I mean, my wife moved halfway across the country and told me I wasn't welcome to go. That's a clue. ... Maybe it seems silly, but a flirtation that goes no further seems far less improper than a married guy outright asking a single woman if she's really interested in him or only flirting.

2. While we've had employees dating before at our business (never in the same department), I can't imagine the humiliation of actually going through with Step 1 above -- flat-out asking -- and ending up being the married boss of one department getting shot down by rank-and-file employee of another.

I'm just going to mind my own business and keep a safe distance. If I keep following my own course and a couple of weeks or months later I can look in my rear-view mirror and she's still tailing me, she's serious.

Or a cop trying to catch up and ticket me for carrying an oversize load.


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 5, 2009)

Horseman said:


> Perhaps at the expense of great embarrassment and humiliation.



Clearly, there's some interest on your part, even if it's just a sense of intrigue. From what you've written, though ... I think it's a very bad idea to get involved with this woman, even on a friendship level. She seems confused and possibly unstable. Not a good combination when considering anything but a very (VERY!) formal work relationship.


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## Tad (Oct 5, 2009)

Horseman said:


> 1. I'm not divorced (nor divorcing) yet. It's _almost certainly_ going to happen, when our (both nearly grown) kids have their feet well enough on the ground (and back home) for it. I mean, my wife moved halfway across the country and told me I wasn't welcome to go. That's a clue. ... Maybe it seems silly, but a flirtation that goes no further seems far less improper than a married guy outright asking a single woman if she's really interested in him or only flirting.
> 
> .



Does she know you are headed to divorce most likely, with your wife far away, etc? (or is it generally known at work?). If it is not general knowledge that divorce is likely, given your age differences, my guess would be that she sees you as 'safe.' That she can flirt and be friendly, knowing it won't go further. But that is little more than a guess, really.


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## Ruffie (Oct 5, 2009)

A couple of weeks ago at work I was sweeping off our deck when a young FA spied me and came up to the youth centre. He comes out on the deck and starts a conversation with me while I continued to clean. He introduces himself and says " I like the way you look" . I replied with "thank you". He goes on to say " Do you have a man?" And I replied that I do and hes says "shit cause I really like the way you look." I keep sweeping as we talk about things in general and he looks down at my hand and says "Well if you have a man how come I don't see a ring on your finger?" I said" Well I was cleaning at home this morning and didn't have rings on and must have forgotten to put them on but have been married for 24 years." He says" No way you aren't THAT old!" And "I said honey I am old enough to be your mother" He said damn that's too bad cause I REALLY like the way you look!" again I thank him for his compliment. He asks if my man and I are tight and I indicate we are and again says dammit I really like how you look. I ask him his age and then inform him he is too old to be in the youth centre and ask him to go and he says ok. Then he stops me as I was about to go in and get the mop and says" Well you know I really like the way you look how about we go somewhere and do the Funky monkey?" I was like"sorry honey married and old enough to be your momma time for you to go."

Persistant much? I was clear from the get go I was married and older and yet still hassled me. Reminded me of some drunk guy in a bar that won't give up and don't get why some guys are like this.


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## Melian (Oct 5, 2009)

Ruffie said:


> A couple of weeks ago at work I was sweeping off our deck when a young FA spied me and came up to the youth centre. He comes out on the deck and starts a conversation with me while I continued to clean. He introduces himself and says " I like the way you look" . I replied with "thank you". He goes on to say " Do you have a man?" And I replied that I do and hes says "shit cause I really like the way you look." I keep sweeping as we talk about things in general and he looks down at my hand and says "Well if you have a man how come I don't see a ring on your finger?" I said" Well I was cleaning at home this morning and didn't have rings on and must have forgotten to put them on but have been married for 24 years." He says" No way you aren't THAT old!" And "I said honey I am old enough to be your mother" He said damn that's too bad cause I REALLY like the way you look!" again I thank him for his compliment. He asks if my man and I are tight and I indicate we are and again says dammit I really like how you look. I ask him his age and then inform him he is too old to be in the youth centre and ask him to go and he says ok. Then he stops me as I was about to go in and get the mop and says" Well you know I really like the way you look how about we go somewhere and do the Funky monkey?" I was like"sorry honey married and old enough to be your momma time for you to go."
> 
> Persistant much? I was clear from the get go I was married and older and yet still hassled me. Reminded me of some drunk guy in a bar that won't give up and don't get why some guys are like this.



Wow...guy sounds like he was f'd up on something. I hope he doesn't come back and bother you again.


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## joswitch (Oct 5, 2009)

TraciJo67 said:


> Clearly, there's some interest on your part, even if it's just a sense of intrigue. From what you've written, though ... I think it's a very bad idea to get involved with this woman, even on a friendship level. She seems confused and possibly unstable. Not a good combination when considering anything but a very (VERY!) formal work relationship.



"Confused and possibly unstable" women need love too! 
If she's not inclined to violence, it *might* work out ok!
Though yeah the work thing is ... sticky....


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 5, 2009)

joswitch said:


> "Confused and possibly unstable" women need love too!
> If she's *not inclined to violence*, it *might* work out ok!
> Though yeah the work thing is ... sticky....



Oh, please, jo. Like you don't swing that way. ::: snort :::


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## joswitch (Oct 5, 2009)

TraciJo67 said:


> Oh, please, jo. Like you don't swing that way. ::: snort :::



Oh, I was thinking of homicidal-attacks-you-while-you're-asleep-in-bed kinda thing... That's just soooo not a turn on!


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## djudex (Oct 5, 2009)

Ruffie said:


> A couple of weeks ago at work I was sweeping off our deck when a young FA spied me and came up to the youth centre. He comes out on the deck and starts a conversation with me while I continued to clean. He introduces himself and says " I like the way you look" . I replied with "thank you". He goes on to say " Do you have a man?" And I replied that I do and hes says "shit cause I really like the way you look." I keep sweeping as we talk about things in general and he looks down at my hand and says "Well if you have a man how come I don't see a ring on your finger?" I said" Well I was cleaning at home this morning and didn't have rings on and must have forgotten to put them on but have been married for 24 years." He says" No way you aren't THAT old!" And "I said honey I am old enough to be your mother" He said damn that's too bad cause I REALLY like the way you look!" again I thank him for his compliment. He asks if my man and I are tight and I indicate we are and again says dammit I really like how you look. I ask him his age and then inform him he is too old to be in the youth centre and ask him to go and he says ok. Then he stops me as I was about to go in and get the mop and says" Well you know I really like the way you look how about we go somewhere and do the Funky monkey?" I was like"sorry honey married and old enough to be your momma time for you to go."
> 
> Persistant much? I was clear from the get go I was married and older and yet still hassled me. Reminded me of some drunk guy in a bar that won't give up and don't get why some guys are like this.



Made me instantly think of this.


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## olwen (Oct 5, 2009)

Horseman said:


> Certainly that's the direct route.
> 
> I think the direct route at the moment isn't the greatest way to go for a couple of reasons.
> 
> ...



Keeping your distance sounds like a good idea to me, but I think perhaps you should tell her that you are off limits even for friendship. I doubt she really will go away if you don't.


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## chicken legs (Oct 6, 2009)

djudex said:


> Made me instantly think of this.



OMG that was a good one...


Arggg..i cant rep u yet


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## Horseman (Oct 6, 2009)

olwen said:


> Keeping your distance sounds like a good idea to me, but I think perhaps you should tell her that you are off limits even for friendship. I doubt she really will go away if you don't.



I'm not wanting her to go away.

I'm just saying I'm going to resist grabbing her when she gets too close. :batting:


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## liz (di-va) (Oct 6, 2009)

Today. Today is the time I scratched my head at the opposite sex. Or maybe this week. I think I am scratching my head at myself too, but you know...whatever. There's confusion.

There. That's nice and murky, right?


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## Ruffie (Oct 6, 2009)

djudex said:


> Made me instantly think of this.



LOL no kidding thanks for sharing this!


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## cheekyjez (Oct 6, 2009)

I don't see where anyone is getting "unstable" from. It's entirely possible that she likes you, she's giving you signs and not getting a whole lot back from you. So, she goes on a few "dinners with a friend" with someone else. Why wait if you don't seem interested?

Also possible is that she is leading you on, feels you're safe, likes the attention.

As for your wife - she has forfeited the right to have any say in your life. Next time she gives you any grief, tell her it's none of her business. Your kids already know that it's over. 

=====
As for my own stories, it always surprises me when women lose it over my accent. Typically I'll be on the phone with some service person (say, talking to Comcast billing) and the lady on the other end of the line will do things to keep me talking when the business part of the conversation is over. Obviously it's not going to GO anywhere so it's completely safe, but it pleases me to think that I am granting joy just by speaking.


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## joswitch (Oct 6, 2009)

djudex said:


> Made me instantly think of this.



Ahahahahaha! "Yvonne??? Damn! That's a french-ass name!!" roflmao!


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## escapist (Oct 6, 2009)

djudex said:


> E-mail addresses are the wrong way to go, just a terrible idea. Instead of asking her for her number give her yours, say something along the lines of "You know, I'm having a really good time with you here. [write down your number on handy piece of papyrus] Here's my number, if you want to hang out some time give me a shout."
> 
> By giving her your number you not only say "I'm interested in you" you're also giving her a nice easy escape route if she's just being overly sociable. She may be freaked out by you asking for her number there and then in the moment but by giving her your number you give her time to think about how much more awesomer you might be once she gets home and the means to act on those thoughts



email actually works great for me, when doing the facebook/myspace thing. I often don't even consider myself going on a date, thinking about a date or anything like that. To me I just consider it spending more time with someone. I have the feeling that doing this removes the possible social pressure that asking for a number or a date can create. If I'm having fun, I like to just continue the fun. So an insta-date or a bounce is more fun for me. I've grabbed people I just met and went to the coffee shop next door, or the pizza place around the corner.

Quick note: I don't go for a number unless I know I'm getting it. Aka like where its painfully obvious the girl doesn't want to leave me alone. Or she's practicably begging to have more fun.


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## OneHauteMama (Oct 7, 2009)

For the OP: It could be she was just using you for practice. I know it sounds totally crappy, but I do know of women who do this. It's a "self-esteem" boost for them, knowing that a guy likes them/wants them. They have no plans of carrying it further, but have no problem flirting shamelessly. 

As for me, I do have a story of my own. I was at work, doing my thing, and an older-ish guy comes in. I fill his order, I'm nice to him (like I am to EVERYONE), not thinking anything of it. Tell him to have a nice day, etc. About 3 hours later, he comes back. Asks me if I'm getting a break any time soon. I tell him no, my shift isn't long enough for that. He stands around and shoots the crap with me for a few minutes. Okay, no big deal, right? He comes back the next day and asks me when I'm working again. Each time he stands there for at least 10 minutes talking with me. Whatever...I can tell he really likes me, he's a customer, he's paying, I'm not gonna begrudge him the chatting. Then he starts coming in and if I'm not in the front, he asks for me or CALLS me to come out from the back. He brings his little boy in to meet me, etc. This goes on for about 2 weeks. Finally, he slips me his number...but get this...he says "Only call after 10pm because that's when I go to work and MY WIFE ISN'T AROUND!!" :doh: What a freakin' sleeze! So the next time he came in, he asked when I was getting off of work and asked me out for a drink. I said "I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate that". Of course, I'm completely free and single (HINT HINT people!!), but I was trying to get rid of him. He left a few minutes later and hasn't come back since. (Watch...now that I said that, he'll be in tonight...:doh

Another one: About a year ago, I was out with a friend at a restaurant. Her kids had to go to the bathroom, so I helped her get them upstairs so they could accomplish that. I go in the bathroom and there's this thin, fit, kinda gorgeous girl in there. I start doing my thing, adjusting my hair, makeup, whatever. She comes up behind me, puts her hand on my shoulder, and says "Wow...that color looks awesome on you!" Not thinking anything of it, I said "Oh, thanks...I just picked this shirt up a few days ago..." So she continues "No, I'm serious...you're gorgeous...And your makeup...it really brings out your eyes...and your hair color is so beautiful!"...and she starts stroking my hair...So I'm standing there thinking _Is she? Isn't she? WTF is going on here?_ So she asks my name, I tell her...she says it was nice meeting me and that maybe she'll see me downstairs. She leaves and my friend comes out of the stall and says "Oh. My. GOD! She was totally flirting with you!!" So um...I think I encountered a fellow FFA. Didn't see her after that, though... *shrug*


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 7, 2009)

For me, it's simple. Her behavior in the workplace is not appropriate. Hence, she may be a bit on the nutso side of the spectrum. Could be everything that others are implying, too -- which is a lot less sinister. Either way, though, my advise to the OP would stand: Best not get involved with her in any way, other than professionally. And to be very, very clear to her about that expectation.



cheekyjez said:


> I don't see where anyone is getting "unstable" from. It's entirely possible that she likes you, she's giving you signs and not getting a whole lot back from you. So, she goes on a few "dinners with a friend" with someone else. Why wait if you don't seem interested?
> 
> Also possible is that she is leading you on, feels you're safe, likes the attention.
> 
> ...


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## cheekyjez (Oct 7, 2009)

I think it depends on the workplace norms, though. Sure, it's unprofessional to try and pick people up at work, but if lots of people are doing that, it doesn't make her crazy. I'd accept "naive" as another explanation.


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## Horseman (Oct 8, 2009)

cheekyjez said:


> I think it depends on the workplace norms, though. Sure, it's unprofessional to try and pick people up at work, but if lots of people are doing that, it doesn't make her crazy. I'd accept "naive" as another explanation.



Maybe I'm just irresistible. :batting:

Wait, no. That's never been true before. :doh:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 8, 2009)

Horseman said:


> Perhaps at the expense of great embarrassment and humiliation.



Letting fear control you and the course of your life sucks.....I say that from personal experience.

Also, if it smells like shit and looks like shit, it probably is. 

I watched that movie "He's Just Not That Into You" recently and gawd, the simple truths that people ignore, even when it's in their face. 

I don't know.....singledom has left me with a lot of impatience with the opposite sex. I tend to say straight up exactly what it is that I want....and if this persons actions, not words, bely that they aren't on the same page, then I move on....quickly. 



Ruffie said:


> A couple of weeks ago at work I was sweeping off our deck when a young FA spied me and came up to the youth centre. He comes out on the deck and starts a conversation with me while I continued to clean. He introduces himself and says " I like the way you look" . I replied with "thank you". He goes on to say " Do you have a man?" And I replied that I do and hes says "shit cause I really like the way you look." I keep sweeping as we talk about things in general and he looks down at my hand and says "Well if you have a man how come I don't see a ring on your finger?" I said" Well I was cleaning at home this morning and didn't have rings on and must have forgotten to put them on but have been married for 24 years." He says" No way you aren't THAT old!" And "I said honey I am old enough to be your mother" He said damn that's too bad cause I REALLY like the way you look!" again I thank him for his compliment. He asks if my man and I are tight and I indicate we are and again says dammit I really like how you look. I ask him his age and then inform him he is too old to be in the youth centre and ask him to go and he says ok. Then he stops me as I was about to go in and get the mop and says" Well you know I really like the way you look how about we go somewhere and do the Funky monkey?" I was like"sorry honey married and old enough to be your momma time for you to go."
> 
> Persistant much? I was clear from the get go I was married and older and yet still hassled me. Reminded me of some drunk guy in a bar that won't give up and don't get why some guys are like this.



I had a slight chuckle.....I know you were flattered....as I would be 
But I'm with the other poster.....if he keeps coming around it might be trouble for you....or even the kids there.







Oh and if there weren't at least a few men into confused, unstable, violent women, then I would never get laid 

Oh wait.....I don't get laid.....nevermind :doh:


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## Horseman (Oct 9, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Oh and if there weren't at least a few men into confused, unstable, violent women, then I would never get laid
> 
> Oh wait.....I don't get laid.....nevermind :doh:



Sounds like my type. (Which maybe should be telling me something about being on the lookout for bad choices.)

The worst part is that I've more than once been stuck with just the confused, unstable and violent side ... other bastards were benefiting from the sex.


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## thea (Oct 10, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> So, as the title to this thread says, this is the thread for posting times you have been confused by the people you are attracted to. This happened to me on Saturday:
> 
> I was at JC Penny shopping for a new cologne because the one I used to wear is no longer available. I was smelling various colognes and I came across one called "Green Irish Tweed" that basically almost made me gay for myself. I told the girl behind the counter that I may have just found the scent for me. I sprayed some on my neck and then told her I'd buy it. Well, from behind me this stunning girl comes up from where she was at the perfume counter shopping. She puts one hand on my upper arm and one hand on the side of my belly and leans in and smells my neck. She tells me "Wow, I could get used to that smell.". The girl behind the counter arcs an eyebrow at me and gives me a smile like "You just scored, dawg".
> 
> ...



Hey, I'm new to online chat, so bear with me going back so far...

I loved reading this thread and all its twists and turns, but was left wondering about Chaz's initial post. What if the perfume admiring girl had just had a spat with her boyfriend? Or was just feeling unusually daring, but not risky enough to give out her number? It's wrong to assume that because you think someone is attractive, they are wonderfully confident and sure, kinda omnipotent. Maybe she felt like s*** that day for many reasons and you cheered her. I agree that coffee or e-mail might be 'safer' propositions, but talking is usually the best bet. It's not illegal to ask someone what their boundries are...pardon the grammar...


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## Linda (Oct 11, 2009)

djudex said:


> Made me instantly think of this.



Hilarious!!!


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## katorade (Oct 11, 2009)

djudex said:


> Made me instantly think of this.




Oh man. This is about 90% of the experiences I've had being hit on. No wonder when I get hit on in public I run and hide, and for years I've been told it was a self-esteem issue.


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## BigChaz (Oct 12, 2009)

thea said:


> Hey, I'm new to online chat, so bear with me going back so far...
> 
> I loved reading this thread and all its twists and turns, but was left wondering about Chaz's initial post. What if the perfume admiring girl had just had a spat with her boyfriend? Or was just feeling unusually daring, but not risky enough to give out her number? It's wrong to assume that because you think someone is attractive, they are wonderfully confident and sure, kinda omnipotent. Maybe she felt like s*** that day for many reasons and you cheered her. I agree that coffee or e-mail might be 'safer' propositions, but talking is usually the best bet. It's not illegal to ask someone what their boundries are...pardon the grammar...



I don't know, but you are from Miami and that makes you awesome.


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## BBW4Chattery (Oct 12, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I watched that movie "He's Just Not That Into You" recently and gawd, the simple truths that people ignore, even when it's in their face.
> 
> =======
> 
> ...



Sort of off topic but back when that book was very popular, I was a regular on the Weight Watchers boards. I was complaining about the ex or some guy I was dating or something and she posted... "He's Just Not That Into You.... READ THAT NOW!!!"

It broke my heart and I cried and got angry and had a message board hissy fit and told her she hurt my feelings. I felt pretty stupid when I realized it was a book she was recommending to help me deal with his jackassery. 

As for the second part, I just can't seem to time that right... I was a typical redhead in my late teens, early 20's and had guys everywhere. Now that I'm a semi-stable, loving, available, appropriate human being... I don't get the options I had when I was basically crazy. Maybe I should flip again? Throw a cake at someone and see if that gets me some action. The clean up could be hot... no?


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## chicken legs (Oct 12, 2009)

BBW4Chattery said:


> As for the second part, I just can't seem to time that right... I was a typical redhead in my late teens, early 20's and had guys everywhere. Now that I'm a semi-stable, loving, available, appropriate human being... I don't get the options I had when I was basically crazy. Maybe I should flip again? Throw a cake at someone and see if that gets me some action. The clean up could be hot... no?



Yes it would....and change is good.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 13, 2009)

BBW4Chattery said:


> Sort of off topic but back when that book was very popular, I was a regular on the Weight Watchers boards. I was complaining about the ex or some guy I was dating or something and she posted... "He's Just Not That Into You.... READ THAT NOW!!!"
> 
> It broke my heart and I cried and got angry and had a message board hissy fit and told her she hurt my feelings. I felt pretty stupid when I realized it was a book she was recommending to help me deal with his jackassery.
> 
> As for the second part, I just can't seem to time that right... I was a typical redhead in my late teens, early 20's and had guys everywhere. Now that I'm a semi-stable, loving, available, appropriate human being... I don't get the options I had when I was basically crazy. Maybe I should flip again? Throw a cake at someone and see if that gets me some action. The clean up could be hot... no?



We're never going to survivvvvvvvveeeeeee UNLESS....we get a little crazy  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhVe_IsTVJY


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## WillSpark (Oct 13, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> We're never going to survivvvvvvvveeeeeee UNLESS....we get a little crazy
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhVe_IsTVJY



But there's people running through my head. One of them's got a gun, to shoot the other one!


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## Horseman (Oct 16, 2009)

WillSpark said:


> But there's people running through my head. One of them's got a gun, to shoot the other one!




Presently only one person runnin' through my head.

She doesn't have a gun. But she doesn't need one to be flat-out killin' me. :really sad:


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## CleverBomb (Oct 16, 2009)

WillSpark said:


> But there's people running through my head. One of them's got a gun, to shoot the other one!


There she goes again, racing through my brain.

-Rusty
(I keep telling her to slow down, she's gonna trip and hurt herself -- but no.)


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## rabbitislove (Oct 16, 2009)

Melian said:


> Dumb women need love, too!!
> 
> Hope the next one is better!



If it wasnt for big men who are willing to sleep with bimbos Id never get laid. Hahaha.


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## Horseman (Oct 17, 2009)

rabbitislove said:


> If it wasnt for big men who are willing to sleep with bimbos Id never get laid. Hahaha.



I wouldn't have thought there was a shortage of us. :batting:


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## warwagon86 (Oct 23, 2009)

rabbitislove said:


> If it wasnt for big men who are willing to sleep with bimbos Id never get laid. Hahaha.



hahaha this just brightened up my morning thanks rabbit hahahaha


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## Melian (Oct 23, 2009)

rabbitislove said:


> If it wasnt for big men who are willing to sleep with bimbos Id never get laid. Hahaha.



Oh BS. You hardly qualify as a "bimbo." 

And there is definitely no shortage of guys who want to sleep with hot, awesome, flexible (yeah, I saw that pic...) chicks who want to ride them for hours.


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## Tad (Oct 23, 2009)

rabbitislove said:


> If it wasnt for big men who are willing to sleep with bimbos Id never get laid. Hahaha.





Melian said:


> And there is definitely no shortage of guys who want to sleep with hot, awesome, flexible (yeah, I saw that pic...) chicks who want to ride them for hours.



pssst, Melian, I'm ashamed, I'd think a scientist like yourself would know the difference between a bird and a mammal....the cute term for her would be 'bunny' not 'chick'  (now, if she was called Eagleslove, that would be different....)

On a more serious note, I agree with the other part of what Melian said, but I didn't want to be the one to break it to you, Rabbit. You just don't cut it as a bimbo, I'm afraid you failed to not develop a brain or personality, and hence have been rejected for bimbo status


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## Melian (Oct 25, 2009)

Tad said:


> pssst, Melian, I'm ashamed, I'd think a scientist like yourself would know the difference between a bird and a mammal....the cute term for her would be 'bunny' not 'chick'  (now, if she was called Eagleslove, that would be different....)



I just got taxonomy-pwnd!!


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