# ...So I married a BBW!



## landshark (Jul 16, 2012)

Hello, all. I am new here, so take it easy on me. No, I am not a BBW. I am 32 year old male, fairly athletic, about 5'7" and 170 pounds. And I am married to a BBW. 

I just wanted to tell my story. I don't know why, I just do. If you don't want to read or listen, that's fine, but I certainly appreciate those of you who do. I think that just writing it out will feel good.

This is basically my story of how I developed from pursuing lean/fit/athletic girls and began to exclusively pursue BBWs. 

Years ago I was in a relationship with a stereotypical "hot" girl, who was just a horrible person. While I was deeply committed to her, I passed on an opportunity to split up with her and become close to a very nice girl from my church who was overweight. I can honestly say that I passed because I was already in a relationship and not because of her weight. But I wonder how I would have reacted if my relationship status had been different. That is a question I struggled with even back then. I knew the bigger girl from church was wife material, but I wasn't certain that I was mature enough to accept her for herself at that time. My loss. But this story DOES have a happy ending. 

I stayed with my girlfriend for a few years, and then we split up. This period was a time of sexual conflict for me. I wanted to date "hot" girls, but I kept finding my mind wandering to bigger girls. As embarrassing as this is to admit, I even had trouble performing with some of the "hot" girls. So a friend suggested trying something different (without knowing the specific details of my frustration). He simply said, "Try hooking up with a different type of person." 

A few nights later I slept with a bigger girl and it was phenomenal. Unfortunately, I didn't get the point my body was trying to tell me. Instead, it restored some of my confidence, and I again started chasing "hot" girls, only to experience the same embarrassments, setbacks and frustrations.

Because I lived the kind of lifestyle I did, athletic, outdoorsy, hiking, running, etc, I had a hard time believing that I was sexually compatible with bigger girls. But a night with another bigger girl changed my mind for good. Unfortunately for me, she was only in it for the night. I begged and begged her to be open to being in a relationship. I am ashamed to say, she took advantage of me a few times, but it is not like I did not benefit from it too! Plus I finally accepted that if I was going to enjoy a healthy sexual relationship, I needed to pursue a bigger girl.

That was when I really learned to love the way a bigger girl looks. I would see a group of girls and look for the thickest one. At one point along the way, I even reached a crucial decision point in which two girls were interested in me. One was a very nicely put together athletic girl, the other weighing in between 250-275. All this is not to say that I dated them because of their weight. I still would look for the same personality-type of qualities that I always had. I just started looking for them coming from bigger girls.

One of the first ones that I really gained some traction with was a woman who told me that she was just recovering from a divorce. She told me that her weight sensitivities were at an all time high because her husband had dumped her for her next door neighbor who was a little "hottie." I confessed that I had only recently decided to pursue a relationship with a girl of her body type, and she told me "Once you go fat, you never go back." She was right. I have not been with a lean/athletic/skinny girl ever since. I am BBW property now. Anyway, she and I split up a few weeks later because I realized that "recovering from" a divorce was really "still finalizing." It was a bit of a disappointment because she really did take good care of me.

I had a few other flings before eventually meeting my wife. Now she was not really a BBW when we met, but she was far from skinny. She was 5'4" and about 160 or so pounds. Lots of weight in her butt and hips. I didn't hold that against her. Over 6 years and 3 kids later, her weight had literally doubled. She actually peaked at 336. She is now down to 296.

My wife is not happy with her weight, but she has a husband who adores her. When she was still over 330 and I was with her, I felt like I was the only man in the world who could handle this person. She carries a lot of her weight in her butt, thighs, and belly. It is a picture of beauty. I love being seen with her in public. Sometimes I'll just happen to look over at her and I just get excited. 

I know a lot of guys object to their wives putting on so much weight after the wedding day. As my wife started to gain, it excited me to know that my partner, the only person I am ever going to be with again, was a BBW. I mentioned that she is steadily trimming her weight, and despite my love for her weight, I do support her efforts. I do want her to be happy with herself, obviously. But even if she loses a lot of weight, she will never be a skinny girl. She'll always carry a little extra "something" in all the right places.

Anyway, that's the cliff notes version of my story. I don't want to bore anyone anymore than I already have. If you made it this far, thank you for reading.

There really is not a profound point I am trying to make, no takeaways, no moral of the story. I just needed to share with someone. Once again, I appreciate you reading.

Lastly, I just want to say to those of you who are BBWs, I hope that you love and accept yourselves. I am really happy to have found this forum.


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## Sleepy (Jul 20, 2012)

I was attracted in part to my future wife because she was a little heavy when we met, had some junk in the trunk. We started dating and she said she weighed 160, the same as me. We dated for three years and she put on weight during that time. I noticed at a doctor visit she weighed 194 about two years ago and I would guess she weighs a little over 200 now. We've been married a year and I have supported her two attempts to lose weight through dieting, but she does not like most healthy foods or regular exercize, so dieting soon went by the wayside. My guess is she is going to continue to gain weight, and I like that idea. We are boaters and she wears a two piece bathing suit. I love it that her gut and butt and thighs and love handles are bulging out of the suit. I just want her to be happy and I think she is struggling with the idea of having to permanently change her food and exercise lifestyle to be thinner vs. eating what she likes and not worrying about it. I happen to like her bigger, so that works for me. Selfeshly, I would love to see her 100 pounds heavier, but we'll see.


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## JohnTav (Jul 20, 2012)

Congratulations on being happily married and I hope your wife is happy with her body as much as you are. I have always been attracted to bigger girls and coincidentally the older I become the more I attracted I am to the bigger range of ssbbw. Still not all of my girlfriends have been bbw or ssbbw because I don't get the chance to meet bigger ladies as I would like so. I dated both slimmer and bigger girls, and only a couple ssbbw. My ex was a full blown ssbbw around 400lbs and I was crazy about her. She was happy with her body but she had many insecurities probably due to previous bad relationships. She left me eventually because she thought I did not love her enough.:doh: I realized, late so, that if you truly care about a ssbbw you should shout it at her all the time. Unlike normal-sized women, a ssbbw is more prone to feel hurt and neglected and an FA's job is to show her how wonderful, sexy and beautiful she is and how precious she is to him.


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## Imp (Jul 20, 2012)

I married two years ago next week. She sort of was in the 170s when we met (sort of because she has some "bionic" parts due to bone replacements). She is about 225 now. 

I was a virgin (by choice, not opportunity) when we married, and I am not a young guy. I would characterize my early attraction to fat girls as a fetish, maybe because I fell in love with my kindergarten teacher, who was pregnant. As a five-year-old I would stuff stuffed animals under my shirt when I went to bed and pretend I was fat--sort of pretending like I was a girl, I think, but not really. It's hard to explain. But I didn't stop the behavior until I was married. 

Of course, once I hit puberty the behavior became overtly sexual, and I started fantasizing about girls I knew gaining weight. I would make up stories in my head. I played some D&D when I was younger, and I would roll dice and have them tell me just how much this or that girl would gain. This added a degree of excitement and mystery to the fantasy. Sometimes pregnancy was a part of the fantasy and some times not. I would masturbate sometimes three times before going to sleep by grinding against blankets stuffed in my clothes in an exaggerated hourglass shape. I worked hard to train myself not to ejaculate early and built up a lot of stamina. As a teenager my fantasies about weight gain were limited to about twenty pounds or so, and mostly associated with larger breasts and booty (unless the story I chose involved pregnancy). After I graduated from college my random weight gain story device changed to mathematical use of the random number function, and quickly the amount of weight gain in the fantasies grew ever larger. I think a lot of us start off this way: we are attracted to larger breasts or butts and expand our attraction from there.

In my dating life, though, I didn't really go after larger girls. Frankly, although I really wanted a girl with big breasts, I was mostly attracted to a pretty face, and personality and values (and particularly in high school, status) were more salient. I didn't meet a lot of people I felt I connected with or who were pretty enough for me (my loss), and I know looking back that the lack of confidence in the fat girls I knew was a major factor in not thinking of them as people I would like to date. My wife, although riddled with plenty of insecurities about her appearance, has that interpersonal confidence. She's also very loving, which is something she instructs me in every day.

My wife was a small-town cheerleader and successful beauty pageant contest as a teenager. She gained weight very quickly in her 20s and got as high as 333 pounds about ten years ago before gastric bypass. She was at 182 when we married and has gained the forty pounds since. I observe her eat, of course, and it isn't much. She truly is that girl with the low metabolism who gains easily.

At Christmas one year her family commented on how she was gaining again and she told them I prefer her larger. They, of course, can't fathom that, and their first interpretation was that it's just the kind of thing a husband says. My wife knows the difference because of how much I rub, squeeze, fondle, and massage her chub. It's still hard for her to believe, I think, but it's certainly not something she can deny.

As I learned about sex with her and unlearned old habits, I quickly realized I wanted more weight on her, particularly in her tummy, just for the feel of it. I quickly got my wish, and I find it very satisfying. I still have fantasies about her gaining substantially more weight, but that's where I want those to stay. The practicalities of her gaining weight and the disappointment she would have keep those fantasies at bay. The role of those stories in arousal and orgasm, though, still is at play. And, of course, fantasy girls aren't real girls, and in real life disappointments and irritations have their role. My wife has seen some of my pictures on my computer and can't believe the size of the women, but I have never talked to her about the weight gain fascination or the role of a weight gain story for her that shows up in my head when we have sex. Maybe some time, but what we have is pretty good, and I don't want that weighing on her. What we're really focused on is a baby. If she got pregnant and gained size and weight, I think I just might explode in delight. Oh, and being a dad would be substantially awesome.


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## landshark (Jul 21, 2012)

Thanks for the replies, guys. I enjoy reading other peoples' stories as well.


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## superblooper (Jul 21, 2012)

Gosh, these are adorable stories! Happily_married, congratulations, I hope that you two continue to be happy together!! If I may ask, about how old were you when you realised that you were into big girls?


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## landshark (Jul 21, 2012)

superblooper said:


> Gosh, these are adorable stories! Happily_married, congratulations, I hope that you two continue to be happy together!! If I may ask, about how old were you when you realised that you were into big girls?



I was in my early 20s for the bulk of my story posted above. I was 24 when the one girl dumped me. I was just a few months shy of 26 when I got married, so a lot happened in a short time. Thank you for your kind words.


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## KittyKitten (Jul 21, 2012)

Welcome to Dims! Very nice post, except that I dislike the fact that some people use 'hot' to describe a thin girl. It has happened more than once on here. "Hot" does not always coincide with "thin". I've seen many "hot" larger women, in fact more so than the thin ones. Hot simply means sexy and beautiful. And I think I'm pretty damn hot myself besides not being a size 2. I'm sorry to be a jerk, but that really kinda irks me. Other than that, I wish for you the best.


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## CastingPearls (Jul 22, 2012)

KittyKitten said:


> Welcome to Dims! Very nice post, except that I dislike the fact that some people use 'hot' to describe a thin girl. It has happened more than once on here. "Hot" does not always coincide with "thin". I've seen many "hot" larger women, in fact more so than the thin ones. Hot simply means sexy and beautiful. And I think I'm pretty damn hot myself besides not being a size 2. I'm sorry to be a jerk, but that really kinda irks me. Other than that, I wish for you the best.


He DID say 'stereotypical 'hot' girls' so to me that indicated that he was referring to a culturally acceptable norm which was at one time his thinking but no longer is, hence his post here. He even used quotation marks....I think he did what he could within reasonable expectations to convey that.


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## landshark (Jul 22, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> He DID say 'stereotypical 'hot' girls' so to me that indicated that he was referring to a culturally acceptable norm which was at one time his thinking but no longer is, hence his post here. He even used quotation marks....I think he did what he could within reasonable expectations to convey that.



@ KittyKitten, I completely agree with your complaint. Casting Pearls has me read like a book. I used quotations around the word "hot" to imply a feeling of "so-called..." if that makes sense. 

Also, for what it's worth, unless I am being silly, I do not describe my wife as "hot." I actually think it's a shallow term and she and every other woman deserves more respect than that. Perhaps I am just picky about word-use. When I get to know a woman on a more personal level, I simply cannot use that word to describe her. Let me assure you that when I used the word "hot" I did it to capture what mainstream society deems as "hot." I personally find BBWs to be every bit as beautiful as the so-called "hot" girls. Which is why I am on this site to begin with!

Thank you for reading, and I hope this helps you understand my word choice a little better.


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## toni (Jul 22, 2012)

I hate to rain on this parade but all these stories talk about women who were under 200 lbs when you started dating them. That cheapens the "I married a BBW" thing for me. Really, you dated a thin chick who got fat. :huh:


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## Dr. Feelgood (Jul 22, 2012)

toni said:


> Really, you dated a thin chick who got fat. :huh:



Inside every thin chick there's a BBW struggling to get out. :batting:


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## landshark (Jul 22, 2012)

toni said:


> Really, you dated a thin chick who got fat. :huh:



Nobody who knew her at 160 or so would have accused her of being thin. At any rate, her exact size when we got married as well as today is irrelevant to the overall theme of my story, and that is the slow progression and acknowledgement that I am attracted to bigger girls. This is further underscored in my wife's weight gain, and my continued attraction for her. 

Still, defense of my argument aside, I do see your point. 

BTW, nice profile pic. Hope you don't mind me peeking.


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## Imp (Jul 22, 2012)

The ire that comes up from women here when guys talk about their evolving preferences is one of the reasons I stay away from the size acceptance parts of the board most of the time. Express your irk, ladies. It's certainly a place to do it. But it ruins a really nice thread. And more often than not, it's irk that gets expressed by some really snarky ladies.

And, I suppose the irk may be one of the reasons it's harder to find someone over 200 pounds you might want to marry.


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## toni (Jul 22, 2012)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> Inside every thin chick there's a BBW struggling to get out. :batting:



Don't they wish...



happily_married said:


> BTW, nice profile pic. Hope you don't mind me peeking.


 peek away 



Imp said:


> The ire that comes up from women here when guys talk about their evolving preferences is one of the reasons I stay away from the size acceptance parts of the board most of the time. Express your irk, ladies. It's certainly a place to do it. But it ruins a really nice thread. And more often than not, it's irk that gets expressed by some really snarky ladies.
> 
> And, I suppose the irk may be one of the reasons it's harder to find someone over 200 pounds you might want to marry.



This might have been a really nice thread to you but it wasn't to me. I take issue with someone who slept with bigger women then married a thinner one just to fatten her up. I am in no way being snarky. I am calling it out for what I see it.

I think you are the one being snarky. Maybe the "irk" on us 200 pounders make us unmarriable? Really? I think it is my confidence and lack of desire to be in a relationship that keeps me single. I am too independent for marriage. Anyway, I find the FAs who marry thin women absurd. It is unfair to everyone involved.


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## Still a Skye fan (Jul 23, 2012)

Thank you for the lovely story, "happily_married"

My best to you and your special lady


Dennis


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## landshark (Jul 23, 2012)

toni said:


> This might have been a really nice thread to you but it wasn't to me. I take issue with someone who slept with bigger women then married a thinner one just to fatten her up. I am in no way being snarky. I am calling it out for what I see it.



For what it's worth, I did not marry her with the intention "fattening" her up. It just sort of happened. I did not object as it happened, and actually embraced it. I'm sorry that you do not feel it's a nice thread/story. In my defense, a lot of guys would object to the kind of weight gain that my wife has experienced. I have done all I can do to encourage my wife to love herself as she is, regardless of her weight.


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## toni (Jul 23, 2012)

happily_married said:


> For what it's worth, I did not marry her with the intention "fattening" her up. It just sort of happened. I did not object as it happened, and actually embraced it. I'm sorry that you do not feel it's a nice thread/story. In my defense, a lot of guys would object to the kind of weight gain that my wife has experienced. I have done all I can do to encourage my wife to love herself as she is, regardless of her weight.



I'm sorry to take FA frustrations out on you. You do fit the jerky sterotype but every story has its unique details. Life never goes down the perfect path. I am happy your wife has a man that loves her at any size.


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## Jon Blaze (Jul 23, 2012)

It sounds a lot like he was just learning more about his preferences rather than just pushing himself away because of social fears. I think a lot of FAs go through things similar, albeit with different stories and different ages. Just my personal opinion.


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## landshark (Jul 23, 2012)

toni said:


> I'm sorry to take FA frustrations out on you. You do fit the jerky sterotype but every story has its unique details. Life never goes down the perfect path. I am happy your wife has a man that loves her at any size.



Jerky stereotype? Hell, you should have seen me at the beginning of this story. I am a much better person now than I was. I guess I really don't blame you for the critique as you see it. Again, all I can say is that my wife, even at 160, was far from being a skinny girl. Add to it that while I grew to like bigger girls, it's not like I set a cutoff minimum weight. She had what I found to be a very appealing body and a wonderful personality. 

You don't have to answer because it is a personal question, all I am doing is trying to show you how I am thinking. But imagine your ideal body type in a man. Both physical and personality-wise. Now take the physical side of it, and assume it is 80% of the ideal. Would you still be interested? Would you accept the physical maybe not being a complete ideal if the personality was? 

No, my wife was not as big as some of the girls I had dated in the months prior. But she was just enough of the right body style and her personality made up for it.


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## supersizebbw (Jul 23, 2012)

happily_married said:


> Lastly, I just want to say to those of you who are BBWs, I hope that you love and accept yourselves. I am really happy to have found this forum.



@OP: that was a really nice story, it's always nice to know there's guys like you out there who appreciate women just as they are. all the best to you and your wife


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## CastingPearls (Jul 23, 2012)

happily_married said:


> Jerky stereotype? Hell, you should have seen me at the beginning of this story. I am a much better person now than I was. I guess I really don't blame you for the critique as you see it. Again, all I can say is that my wife, even at 160, was far from being a skinny girl. Add to it that while I grew to like bigger girls, it's not like I set a cutoff minimum weight. She had what I found to be a very appealing body and a wonderful personality.
> 
> You don't have to answer because it is a personal question, all I am doing is trying to show you how I am thinking. But imagine your ideal body type in a man. Both physical and personality-wise. Now take the physical side of it, and assume it is 80% of the ideal. Would you still be interested? Would you accept the physical maybe not being a complete ideal if the personality was?
> 
> No, my wife was not as big as some of the girls I had dated in the months prior. But she was just enough of the right body style and her personality made up for it.


This hypothetical equation would never work for me because my ideal man would be a whole harem of different guys.


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## landshark (Jul 23, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> This hypothetical equation would never work for me because my ideal man would be a whole harem of different guys.



You naughty girl, you!


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## Brenda (Jul 23, 2012)

This story gives hope to the many fa's who have or likely will marry a thin woman. They can have their cake and eat it too!


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## Jay West Coast (Jul 24, 2012)

I'm excited to marry a BBW next month. She is, for the sake of the discussion, "already a BBW."

I think we'd both count it as having our wedding cake and eating it too.


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## JohnTav (Jul 24, 2012)

This is a nice thread. Let's not ruin it by criticizing each other. We are free to express our experiences. I admit I was far from perfect as a FA. I still beat myself up for not showing my ex-ssbbw how much I cared about her and how crazy I was about her body. Like a lot of men I am not very expressive with words but I realized how important this is if you want to be in a relationship with a ssbbw. As I said, ssbbws are wonderful creatures but many have had bad experiences from bad relationships, by the society beating them up or parents who never really embraced them for what they are so they need extra affection and love. I know I made a lot of mistakes but hey, at least I realize my mistakes.


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## nitewriter (Jul 24, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> This hypothetical equation would never work for me because my ideal man would be a whole harem of different guys.



er aside from the Sheik, you do realize that the other guys in the Harem are Eunichs?:shocked::huh::shocked:


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## CastingPearls (Jul 24, 2012)

nitewriter said:


> er aside from the Sheik, you do realize that the other guys in the Harem are Eunichs?:shocked::huh::shocked:


Er, since I am the Sheik-ess, I choose who is in my harem and none, sir, will be eunuchs, I can assure you.


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## landshark (Jul 24, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> Er, since I am the Sheik-ess, I choose who is in my harem and none, sir, will be eunuchs, I can assure you.



If I weren't "happily married" I would apply to be the one who drops grapes in your mouth!


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## landshark (Jul 24, 2012)

Jay West Coast said:


> I'm excited to marry a BBW next month. She is, for the sake of the discussion, "already a BBW."
> 
> I think we'd both count it as having our wedding cake and eating it too.



Congratulations. Best wishes to you and your soon to be wife!


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## Jay West Coast (Jul 25, 2012)

happily_married said:


> Congratulations. Best wishes to you and your soon to be wife!



Thanks! Can't wait!


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## AuntHen (Jul 25, 2012)

JohnTav said:


> Congratulations on being happily married and I hope your wife is happy with her body as much as you are. I have always been attracted to bigger girls and coincidentally the older I become the more I attracted I am to the bigger range of ssbbw. Still not all of my girlfriends have been bbw or ssbbw because I don't get the chance to meet bigger ladies as I would like so. I dated both slimmer and bigger girls, and only a couple ssbbw. My ex was a full blown ssbbw around 400lbs and I was crazy about her. She was happy with her body but she had many insecurities probably due to previous bad relationships. She left me eventually because she thought I did not love her enough.:doh: *I realized, late so, that if you truly care about a ssbbw you should shout it at her all the time. Unlike normal-sized women, a ssbbw is more prone to feel hurt and neglected and an FA's job is to show her how wonderful, sexy and beautiful she is and how precious she is to him.*



this statement is just... errrrr




Jay West Coast said:


> I'm excited to marry a BBW next month. She is, for the sake of the discussion, "already a BBW."
> 
> I think we'd both count it as having our wedding cake and eating it too.



congrats and best wishes!


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## CastingPearls (Jul 26, 2012)

An SSBBW is only prone to feeling hurt and neglected if she is actually hurt and neglected, like women of any size.


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## toni (Jul 29, 2012)

Brenda said:


> This story gives hope to the many fa's who have or likely will marry a thin woman. They can have their cake and eat it too!





CastingPearls said:


> An SSBBW is only prone to feeling hurt and neglected if she is actually hurt and neglected, like women of any size.



AMEN ladies :bow:


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## Blockierer (Jul 30, 2012)

What have we learned? Never give up hope. 
Your prayers will be answered even if you'r an FA.


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## landshark (Aug 4, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> An SSBBW is only prone to feeling hurt and neglected if she is actually hurt and neglected, like women of any size.



So true. I've had this discussion with people many times. I think that a BBW may have different insecurities that someone who is not, but that does not mean that they have more insecurities. What makes a person human is not limited to the flesh and blood that comprises their body. Their spirit matters too. Nobody is perfect, and nobody is void of insecurities on some level. I don't care what they tell you. Maybe they relate to physical features, maybe not. I know some BBWs who are so confident in their bodies that they probably intimidate men just as much as any "hot" girl does. (Sorry to the poster who earlier had objected to the use of that word. Like before, I use it in quotes to convey society's mainstream ideas of what makes a girl "hot." Ideas with which I happen to disagree.) I think it is absolutely beautiful to see a BBW who knows that she is gorgeous. Confidence is empowering. 

I look back at my early and formative days in which I began to pursue BBWs and am actually ashamed. The first bigger girl that I slept with I did so from desperation. I did not stick around in the days following, and by the time I realized that she was probably right for me, she had rightfully moved on. At the time I was young and stupid and still believed that myth that "fat girls try harder" and that a big girl would be desperate as well and that she would welcome me back because her option were limited. 

WRONG WRONG WRONG. 

I may have slept with her from desperation, but she did so with me out of a genuine feeling of attraction and interest. She was not desperate, she was selective and had shown me the honor of selecting me. I was just to stupid to get it until it was too late. This girl obviously valued herself as any girl should. She was no different than any other girl who knows she has been shunned. She had enough dignity to move on from me. To this day I am ashamed that I ever thought the way I did about bigger girls. All I can say is that I am so thankful to have matured a bit over the years. 

Sorry. Lots of side notes to the story that started this thread.


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## liz (di-va) (Aug 7, 2012)

I'm very glad you married a woman you love and are attracted to and have felt your opinions about the ideas of fat women change.

But I guess I am with the others - I don't mean this as a pile-on, I am just genuinely curious - but somebody who was her size when you married her could easily have gotten smaller. Or never gotten any bigger. It's kinda just chance that she's a BBW now. 

So - what would have happened if she had gotten smaller? Would you be writing a different version of this post -- about how you learned to know you liked fat women but still risked marrying someone smaller than you generally were attracted to? Would you be looking around again now for a different type of woman, like at the beginning of the story?

*I don't think there are rules*--I think it's beautiful you love her and there's nothing wrong with your situation and loving her. I don't think you have to prove you're an FA on a forum. 

But you are the one who is bringing up your situation/describing it here on Dims in the context of learning to like fat girls, so I am curious. (Also because it happens so often.)

I mean - having learned how important a fat partner was to you, what was it about a chubby girl that made it worth the risk again? Chubby was fat enough? Did you have a sense she'd probably get bigger? Did you associate her smaller size with having kids or something?

These are nosy questions. But. Best to you, in any case. Thank you for sharing your story.


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## landshark (Aug 7, 2012)

Liz,

Thank you for your kind words, and even for your objections. Perhaps I can clarify my reasoning. First off, I believe physical attraction just gets your foot in the door. It is what stimulates one's interest in a man or woman, but it is just a spark. Personality is what can carry a relationship through the long haul. 

Furthermore, I think that most of us can agree that shallowness is an undesirable character flaw. I can't tell you how many times I've heard bigger girls complain that guys don't give them a chance because of their weight. That they don't get a chance to show someone what a great person they are because a guy is not interested in their personality because of their weight. Maybe it has happened to some of the ladies on this thread, or throughout this forum. I find that sad and would argue that a lot of guys miss out on a chance to meet a wonderful partner when they can't see past her weight. But is it any less shallow when it goes the other way?

Consider a guy who meets a girl. She has all the personality traits that he likes, is generally attractive to him, but she carries a few extra pounds or more, so he passes on her. Would we consider him shallow that he passed on an otherwise suitable partner over a physical characteristic? I would. I used to be that way.

But it is no less shallow to pass on an otherwise suitable partner because she doesn't have ENOUGH weight. Yes, I liked bigger girls and chubby girls, but it's not like I had a 10 item checklist for physical features that guided my search. It's not like I had a cutoff. "You must weigh over ___lbs to date me." That's no less shallow than those who say "you must weigh no more than ___lbs..." 

So when I met a girl who had a few extra pounds and a personality that matched beautifully with my own, I jumped at the opportunity in front of me. If she had weighed less or more, I still would have. I think that the objections here are with my choice of wording in the title of this thread. Fair enough, it makes it sound like my wife was much heavier than she was when we met and got married. I think that people are missing the point, though. I thought the thread title was fun and catchy, but it is just a thread title. The point of this story is to convey my own growth and maturity as I evolved from someone who was shallow to someone who learned how to appreciate the physical beauty of girls who were overweight. I thought that this forum would be an appropriate venue for such a discussion. Rest assured I had no idea that some would see what I consider to be personal growth as still being shallow and jerky over what basically amounts to a few pounds on my wife's body early on in our relationship. 

So in answer to some of your specific questions, yes, chubby was "fat enough." There was no risk, as she was still much bigger than many of the girls with whom I could never develop intimate chemistry. She was even bigger than some with whom I had been able to do so. Remember, weight is relative to height. As for having a sense that she would get bigger, I can't say yes or no to that. I really can't remember. I remember being in love and loving her for who she was. When her body changed, my attitude toward her did not. I still loved her as she was. She was just bigger now.

Once again I do appreciate your kind words. I hope that this explanation helps explain my though process. 

Sincerely...
H_M


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## fiddypence (Aug 14, 2012)

H_M, I totally agree about not setting minimum weights. I'm recently married and my wife happens to be the skinniest person that I've ever dated. When we met she was less than half the weight of my previous girlfriend! (98lbs vs ~200). We knew each other for quite a while before we started dating but I had always ruled her out because she was "too skinny". However, when I got to know her better it became clear that she was the right person for me.

Here's the kicker for me. I've always known that I am a dyed-in-the-wool feeder. I vacillated between trying to find a feedee or just trying to ignore those urges and focus on other things. When I started dating my current wife I had basically made the decision that my feederism would always just be a fantasy. My wife runs 10 miles a day and eats one healthier than anyone I've ever met. It didn't seem likely that she would turn into a BBW. However, when I told her about my preference she was intrigued and eventually decided that we wanted to get fat for me. This was without any coercion on my part. She said that she was likely to get fat anyway as it is in her genes (this seems to be true) and that the whole thing just felt like the right thing to do.

Anyway, I feel like I was rewarded by finding someone who was a good match for me rather than going by lust alone. It worked out better than I could have hoped. I know I'm another example of someone marrying a thin girl and ignoring BBWs, but the truth is I just never met the right BBW for me.


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## toni (Aug 15, 2012)

Yay!!!!!!!!


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## pilotman (Sep 14, 2012)

Jay West Coast said:


> I'm excited to marry a BBW next month. She is, for the sake of the discussion, "already a BBW."
> 
> I think we'd both count it as having our wedding cake and eating it too.



Do not ever let the bride eat wedding cake! It contains a dangerous chemical that is known to permanently kill a woman's sex drive. Or so I was told by a close friend. Thankfully, said chemical was absent from the cake we had back in June and my beautiful round bride is still willing. That being said, you've been warned!


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## happyfatlover (Oct 16, 2012)

Lovely thread.

When my wife and I started dating, she weighed about 165. I didn't know what would follow...

She loves to eat and started gaining weight rapidly - and I loved it.

She reached 200 after one year, 250 after 5 years. I married the most beautiful woman I know at 240. She got pregnant at 290.

We have two wonderful kids today.

I love her at any weight...but all her fabulous fat is nothing short of amazing though.

One thing I have to admit: If she had weighed that much at the beginning of our relationship, I probably wouldn't have dated her. She was already considered as too fat for me by some then. As she got bigger and bigger automatically (sort of), I got more and more excited!


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## toni (Oct 17, 2012)

That sucks. I wish men would be stronger minded. I guess I can't be mad at you for being honest. I am glad you guys are happy now. 

Keep that woman happy! :bow:


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## faintn (Oct 23, 2012)

In my youth, I wouldn't have identified myself as an FA, but I always found myself attracted to bigger girls. I started dating my future wife when she was a freshman in high school (I was a Junior). She was about 130 lbs. at age 14 - not huge but quite curvy with big sexy legs and a nice round ass. We married 5 1/2 years later, and after 10 years of marriage she weighed 250 lbs. It was a steady gain, sometimes as much as 20 lbs. a year, sometimes less. I wasn't trying to fatten her; she just loved to eat, and I loved the results. She was a pear shape and at first gained weight in her hips and thighs, much to my delight. She had a lot of cellulite even when she was thin, and as she got bigger the dimples grew deeper and softer. The fat spread out to include her belly and upper body as she grew bigger. I loved watching her try to wriggle into last year's bathing suit, because her year's worth of newly acquired fat spilled out everywhere and jiggled wonderfully. I loved her body, but she was never comfortable being a BBW. Later on she tried a liquid protein diet and lost about 70 lbs. but then put the weight right back on after only a few months (very exciting for me to watch). We stayed married for 26 years and split (amicably) after our kids left the nest. Fast forward to 2003: I found myself single and decided to admit that I was a true FA. So I looked online for a BBW and found my perfect belly girl, who (at 5' 3") was about 275 and gained to over 300 after we married. She has been a BBW most of her life, is comfortable in her body and doesn't mind (in fact celebrates) that I love her hanging belly and the rest of her soft parts. We have the best sex life that either of us has ever enjoyed.


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## pjbbwlvr (Oct 24, 2012)

I love my wife she is the best part of my life next to the three beautiful children she gave me. She never had a date through HS because she was heavy and no one asked her. Then I met her and saw the beautiful person she is inside and out. And after 31 years of marriage we have the best marriage of anyone I know.
Yes I married a BBW and I thank God for that! Paul


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## Seeker (Jan 15, 2013)

Very awesome and inspirational story, I hope to one day have the kind of happiness with a partner you seem to enjoy.. one day at a time, yea? 

Thanks for sharing, and congrats!


Edit; Some great stories in here.. wow!


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## liz (di-va) (Jan 16, 2013)

happyfatlover said:


> One thing I have to admit: If she had weighed that much at the beginning of our relationship, I probably wouldn't have dated her. She was already considered as too fat for me by some then.



This can be a thing.


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## roundher (Jan 17, 2013)

Seems like a perfect thread for husbands of bbws to hang out. Personally, I oggled my wife from when she was thin through her zaftig days. I absolutely love her curves. I enjoy every inch of her body and love her to death. There is just something very sensual about a curvy body with a roll or two to grab onto. I just love caressing her curves and can linger over her belly and flesh for hours.

Now, I will love her thin or thick ... but I'm definitely living a real fantasy right now with her weight just north of 270lbs. She's 5'9 in height with an apple body I'm very fond of.

I'm here to share whatever thoughts come to mind on the topic and wave a hello to the other husbands (and zaftig women).


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## azerty (Jan 21, 2013)

CastingPearls said:


> An SSBBW is only prone to feeling hurt and neglected if she is actually hurt and neglected, like women of any size.



Yes so true.
Treat women gently and kindly, regardless of their size.


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## mzfluff (Jan 26, 2013)

awwww thank u for loving us we love u back an nice story


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## PlumBlossom (Jan 29, 2013)

Thanks for sharing, I appreciate everything you shared. It's nice to hear that you've matured and that you have grown to accept bigger girls and see that they are just as dateable and lovable as any other girl.


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## landshark (Jun 27, 2014)

It has been nearly 2 years since I posted this story. And as is often the case, the only constant in life is change and a lot has changed since I posted. Mainly my wife has changed. In the face of change you can resist, embrace, or dive in and be a part of it. I've chosen the latter.

My wife has wanted to lose weight for a long time and in the past 3 months has finally gained some traction. It was always important to her to shed weight, and now she has finally accomplished it. So where does that leave me? How do I adjust to my wife losing weight when I enjoyed her at her peak weight? Is this any different than a woman gaining weight when her husband likes her at a more lean weight?

It could be, but I've chosen not to let it be. You see, our bodies will change over time anyway. We gain, we lose, we age. And while physical attraction plays a major role in getting a relationship off the ground, it really falls into a secondary role once that relationship has taken flight. With this in mind, I've fully embraced my wife's efforts. I couldn't be more proud of her. She expressed some concern that I would no longer be attracted to her due to her weight loss, but that has not been the case. 

It has taken her a lot of hard work and discipline. To show my support, I took an honest self-assessment and decided while I was in shape, I could really press a little harder as well. I've slimmed down a little as well. A knee injury forced me to back off my trail running and into the weight room, so I've sculpted my upper body to levels I've never before seen. I am glad to be doing this with my wife and not simply be a spectator.

Looking back, I think it was probably insensitive to share my wife's numbers on the initial post of this thread, but since that cat is out of the bag I'll say this: Her weight loss is approaching triple digits from peak weight and is over 70 pounds since starting this push. I couldn't be more proud of her, and am so happy to see her happy, confident, and finally in control of something she struggled against for many years.

This does not mean I am no longer attracted to bigger women. But the truth is since I'm married I have no business being attracted to anyone besides my wife anyway. I will always have an appreciation for BBWs and SSBBWs. But the most important thing to me is to be attracted to my wife and accept the changes she is making in her life. 

So far I have done just that.


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## stickypistil (Jun 29, 2014)

happily_married said:


> I will always have an appreciation for BBWs and SSBBWs. But the most important thing to me is to be attracted to my wife and accept the changes she is making in her life.



Hallelujah! 

My best wishes to you both.


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## Saisha (Jun 29, 2014)

happily_married said:


> Snip....



Others should learn from you both - very deeply grateful that you have shared this incredible and beautiful journey. :bow:


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## loopytheone (Jul 5, 2014)

I am really so glad that you looked deep inside you and realised these things and that your marriage is still going well! You sound like a kind, caring and supportive husband and your wife is lucky to have you! :happy:


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