# Travel plans have been cancelled. And I plan to walk away from the big girls.



## svenm2112 (Jul 27, 2020)

I had planned to a bbw bash. And I had planned to go to one. And the 12 hours of Sebring.But then the virus hit. Then the travel restrictions. Hit and then governor Charlie Baker of Massachusetts. Hit travelers with from Texas,Florida and California, With a travel form. And a 14 day quarantine. If you dont fill out the form. It is a 500 a day fine. I cannot afford that. So that was killed. Then some jerk on fakebook said something to me. Saying maybe you shouldn't go to bbw bashes. So I have not gone to a bbw event since 2006. And not have gone on a date since 2012. I be honest with you. The same person who said. I shouldn't go to the bbw bashes. Said I belong in federal prison. Well i did jail time. And like Brooks. I was a important man. A educated man. Out here I am just a man who has time has gone. I am not 24,25,26. I never gone to a bbw bash. But I have gone to the events. But the last one. I wasn't made to made to feel welcome. I started to close down the bbw dating account. I have. They are just a joke to me. And like fakebook. Some guys get 100 likes. And 100 comments. And like the guy at. The bbw events he gets all the gals. And but yet. When i put a new pic up. I get nothing. So I am going to walk away. I have too. I dont belong at the bbw bashes. And I am just a middle-aged man. Who dont want to be a bbw admirer anymore. And if i came. I would feel like. I would only be in the way. And that is wrong. I am not handsome. I am below average. I have abscess scars. And surgical scars. And I am just going to walk away.


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## BigElectricKat (Jul 28, 2020)

Sven,

I held off responding to your post for a while because I needed to find the right words. I'm still not too sure of what to say other than, I've been (and continue to be) where you are. Finding companionship in this day and age seems harder than it used to be, even though the world is at our fingertips. And the older we get, the more difficult it seems to get. 
Many times in the recent past, I have wanted to give up on finding that special someone, be they BBW, SSBBW, TSW, RSW, or anyone in between (and NO the T in TWS does not stand for Trans but anything is possible I suppose). Suffice it to say, I've also despaired as to ever finding someone who wants me for me and nothing else. Making connections online can be good but it often is an illusion. Realistically, the logistics of making a long-term, long distance relationship work can sometimes be like a job. It's a lot of effort and unless both parties are equally invested, it's a difficult thing to maintain (but it is possible I assume).

I would ask that you don't give up just yet. I truly believe that there is someone out there for you; they may or may not be a BBW or SSBBW, but they are out there. I know that everybody has physical preferences but I try to focus on a person's innate qualities: their heart, kindness, compassion, sense of humor, intellect. These are more important than the size of their waist, boobs, or butt or what sexual preferences they may have (granted these also have value but shouldn't be the only things you are looking for).

I too am not a handsome man and have had a hard time finding that special someone and I want to give up sometimes. Just recently, I was about to throw in the towel. A certain angel sort of convinced me that all is not lost. While I'm no angel, I'd like to convey to you that all is not lost for you either. If you are a good person with a good heart and your intentions are (mostly) pure, then it will come. Don't worry about the guy who gets 100 likes (see, this is why I'm Not on facebook) and don't suffer fools and trolls online. Just be yourself and let that shine through. A lovely woman with a discerning eye will see you! Good luck!


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## mblickb (Jul 28, 2020)

I would add to what Bigelectrickat wrote...... that a person also needs to love themselves first - and always. If not, people see that. It's been going on a year that I have not dated or had a girlfriend/SO - and I'm perfectly fine with that. About a year ago I had visited dating sites and been a member on a couple. Not exclusively BBW sites, but sites focusing on Colombian women as well. A year ago, I just quit. I had enough of the same response from the women and decided I would just hang out with my friends and family. It's been a nice year. I've been able to focus on myself. Getting myself in shape - both physically and mentally. Organizing my affairs. I've been able to travel more and have made some life changing decisions that I might not have done if I was involved with somebody or dating or searching. So don't ever give up. Maybe take a break for a bit and regroup. Sit down and see if there is anything you've been wanting to do - be it travel, getting in shape (mentally and physically), start a hobby....whatever you think. Enjoy life and take one day at a time. Remember, when you least expect to meet someone, you will meet someone.


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## Jon Blaze (Jul 28, 2020)

It's hard being lonely. I've been a regular in the community since 2005, and I still haven't had a long-term relationship. Now I date a lot more outside than within. The truth is bashes generally aren't a great place to find partners. I'm not saying it can't happen, but people attend them for different reasons. A large percentage are there just to have fun. It was likely a great hub for dating during the previous decades when the community was a stronger niche. For some it was the only option. But plus size dating (while still uncommon) exists now a lot more outside the community.

I'm only 33 so I can't relate as much. But one thing I will say is that your intentions and actions are really what matter. I recommend taking a step back. You can still find the right person without being so forward. Live your life outside of your preferences. Be successful but still put yourself out there for those that seem like a good fit. If you're really a good person: It will come. Maybe even when you aren't expecting it. It doesn't hurt to occasionally evaluate why something didn't work out too. But only when you learn a lesson, and then move on. Don't obsess over not getting attention.


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## BigElectricKat (Jul 28, 2020)

Good advice @mblickb


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## extra_m13 (Aug 4, 2020)

bbw bash... well, difficult things to have, it would be ideal to have one on every city every weekend but even do months apart you are years ahead. here in mexico we don't have any bashes... and i would love to have a beer around my street that admits ssbbw only of course


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## sphinxmans87 (Aug 5, 2020)

BigElectricKat said:


> Sven,
> 
> I held off responding to your post for a while because I needed to find the right words. I'm still not too sure of what to say other than, I've been (and continue to be) where you are. Finding companionship in this day and age seems harder than it used to be, even though the world is at our fingertips. And the older we get, the more difficult it seems to get.
> Many times in the recent past, I have wanted to give up on finding that special someone, be they BBW, SSBBW, TSW, RSW, or anyone in between (and NO the T in TWS does not stand for Trans but anything is possible I suppose). Suffice it to say, I've also despaired as to ever finding someone who wants me for me and nothing else. Making connections online can be good but it often is an illusion. Realistically, the logistics of making a long-term, long distance relationship work can sometimes be like a job. It's a lot of effort and unless both parties are equally invested, it's a difficult thing to maintain (but it is possible I assume).
> ...


Please define Tsw and RSW....
Thanks


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## BigElectricKat (Aug 5, 2020)

sphinxmans87 said:


> Please define Tsw and RSW....
> Thanks


TSW = Tall Sexy Woman/Tall Skinny Woman
RSW = Regular Sized Woman (but what is "regular" anyway?)


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## Broseph (Aug 6, 2020)

Thanks OP and others who‘ve posted here. I’ve never been to a bash, but would like to attend one one day. Sven—sorry to hear of your negative experiences. Not feeling welcome is always a painful experience. I just want to say that I hear you and I’m glad you’re on Dims.

And the way I see it, there is room for everyone here on Dims and in the FA community. It’s taking me time, but I’m realizing I have just as much a right to be a part of this community as anyone else. I believe we don’t have to like everyone and can’t expect everyone to like us. That’s just reality. But I certainly want to be supportive—especially to others in the FA community, as I know very well what being excluded and ridiculed feels like.

Anyway it sounds like you’re making decisions about what’s best for you. I second the other posts about taking a step back. In my experience, sometimes I’m trying too hard to make something happen. Taking a step back can give me a new perspective. And like others have said—I too believe I have to learn to love me before I can expect anyone else to do it. That’s a journey I’m still on. Best of luck and keep us updated if you wish.


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## bbgrrlll (Aug 6, 2020)

svenm2112 said:


> I had planned to a bbw bash. And I had planned to go to one. And the 12 hours of Sebring.But then the virus hit. Then the travel restrictions. Hit and then governor Charlie Baker of Massachusetts. Hit travelers with from Texas,Florida and California, With a travel form. And a 14 day quarantine. If you dont fill out the form. It is a 500 a day fine. I cannot afford that. So that was killed. Then some jerk on fakebook said something to me. Saying maybe you shouldn't go to bbw bashes. So I have not gone to a bbw event since 2006. And not have gone on a date since 2012. I be honest with you. The same person who said. I shouldn't go to the bbw bashes. Said I belong in federal prison. Well i did jail time. And like Brooks. I was a important man. A educated man. Out here I am just a man who has time has gone. I am not 24,25,26. I never gone to a bbw bash. But I have gone to the events. But the last one. I wasn't made to made to feel welcome. I started to close down the bbw dating account. I have. They are just a joke to me. And like fakebook. Some guys get 100 likes. And 100 comments. And like the guy at. The bbw events he gets all the gals. And but yet. When i put a new pic up. I get nothing. So I am going to walk away. I have too. I dont belong at the bbw bashes. And I am just a middle-aged man. Who dont want to be a bbw admirer anymore. And if i came. I would feel like. I would only be in the way. And that is wrong. I am not handsome. I am below average. I have abscess scars. And surgical scars. And I am just going to walk away.





BigElectricKat said:


> Sven,
> 
> I held off responding to your post for a while because I needed to find the right words. I'm still not too sure of what to say other than, I've been (and continue to be) where you are. Finding companionship in this day and age seems harder than it used to be, even though the world is at our fingertips. And the older we get, the more difficult it seems to get.
> Many times in the recent past, I have wanted to give up on finding that special someone, be they BBW, SSBBW, TSW, RSW, or anyone in between (and NO the T in TWS does not stand for Trans but anything is possible I suppose). Suffice it to say, I've also despaired as to ever finding someone who wants me for me and nothing else. Making connections online can be good but it often is an illusion. Realistically, the logistics of making a long-term, long distance relationship work can sometimes be like a job. It's a lot of effort and unless both parties are equally invested, it's a difficult thing to maintain (but it is possible I assume).
> ...


Very well put


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## TwoSwords (Aug 7, 2020)

svenm2112 said:


> I had planned to a bbw bash. ... And I am just going to walk away.



It sounds like what you're describing is the toxic atmosphere caused by online dating and social media. They're not healthy for anybody, but are especially unhealthy for (most) women, because of the social nature of their minds. A "social media type" environment provides access to like-minded people from all over the world, so they show some pics, and get a thousand likes, and they think that's proof that they're above average, and they deserve the best in the world when it comes to dating. Except the problem is that 1000 likes just means 1 person out of every 317,000 in the country, and that's assuming that none of those likes came from other nations, which is not necessarily fair to assume.

In short, being liked online is nothing special, but it's treated as such, which leads to an inaccurate understanding of the value of someone else's affection. If I've met 3,000 people in person, and 2,200 of them really liked me, then that's an almost 75% likability, and I can afford to be somewhat selective. If, on the other hand, I've met 3,000 people in person, and only 2 of them liked me, then I'd know there was something about me that most people dislike, and I would value the affection of my few friends much more highly. However, because they have no sense of the sample size that likes are taken from, social media addicts don't, as a rule, learn this lesson, and tend to develop into cosmically-selective and scornful people with, at times, NPD as well.

The good news for men is; we don't *really* need the attention in order to make it out there. Most of our needs can be satisfied in other ways (such as getting a dog if we want faithful companionship.) The few things that a real relationship is needed for (such as, for instance, children and intimacy,) are difficult to keep once you have them, because of the way our modern day legal system is structured (at least where I live.) In addition, I've spoken with many social media addicts about the value of actual love and affection in the past, and the responses I've gotten have shown little hope that they can ever be convinced to value it again. Most of them seem to see relationships as little more than a means of satisfying their personal avarice, and if they really (falsely) believe they have the whole world to choose from, why wouldn't they?

Here's where I stand as of right now. I believe strongly in the inestimable value of love and affection. However, I also believe that with hard work, commitment, and an exercise of free will, I can live without them. My *exclusive *attraction to fat women is a part of myself, however, and because I like who I am, there's no possibility that I would give it up, even if I have no way to totally fulfill that aspect of myself at present. I can live my life on my own terms instead, and wait for the coming judgment.


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## svenm2112 (Aug 7, 2020)

Broseph said:


> Thanks OP and others who‘ve posted here. I’ve never been to a bash, but would like to attend one one day. Sven—sorry to hear of your negative experiences. Not feeling welcome is always a painful experience. I just want to say that I hear you and I’m glad you’re on Dims.
> 
> And the way I see it, there is room for everyone here on Dims and in the FA community. It’s taking me time, but I’m realizing I have just as much a right to be a part of this community as anyone else. I believe we don’t have to like everyone and can’t expect everyone to like us. That’s just reality. But I certainly want to be supportive—especially to others in the FA community, as I know very well what being excluded and ridiculed feels like.
> 
> Anyway it sounds like you’re making decisions about what’s best for you. I second the other posts about taking a step back. In my experience, sometimes I’m trying too hard to make something happen. Taking a step back can give me a new perspective. And like others have said—I too believe I have to learn to love me before I can expect anyone else to do it. That’s a journey I’m still on. Best of luck and keep us updated if you wish.


I'll be honest with you. You are too late to convince me. Keep on liking. Big gals. I started to unfollow. Every BBW and leave every BBW group. Of Facebook. I have also deleted BBW Cupid,Hi5,and fanasty Feeder. I made comments on Curvy Shrine's YouTube. Also I am going to unscribe to all the BBW videos. I am sorry. But I don't want to hurt anyone. Nor anymore


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