# Weird Exes! (Just for Jes)



## TheSadeianLinguist (Mar 15, 2006)

So I mentioned in another thread that I had a boyfriend who was a transvestite.

I was 15 when this guy and I started dating. He was 16, very closeted, and no clue about sex. Well, upon discussing the BDSM community with him, he read up on it and basically became my sub. I was a domme, at 16, and no, this isn't some warped fantasy. I was pretty bad at it. I refused to give him a golden shower during the whole relationship. He wanted everything to be about my "enslavement" of him. Being a teenage girl, this was a little creepy. On the phone he informed me once he was wearing my underwear I'd left over there. I basically didn't act all that upset over it, and he got more and more into the trans thing: wearing make-up, making makeshift dresses, shaving his legs. He claimed he wanted to marry me, and did indeed propose.

My other really weird ex just had a freakish family. When I finally met his family, his mom and two teen siblings (we were 19 and 26), we went hiking. Good fun, right? Well, we're trotting along and I notice his two *not* mentally handicapped siblings squatting in a particularly deep stream. His mom turns to me and says, "They're peeing." I could have died. We broke up shortly after. He couldn't understand why.

Anyone else have weird ex stories?


----------



## BLUEeyedBanshee (Mar 15, 2006)

hehehe I had a couple of them...but the one that stands out in my mind was the one who thought he was an artist.

We were just out of high school, and I was a big Black Sabbath fan. He did a pastel Ozzy drawing for me. He messed up something and used whiteout...it was the eye. The drawing was horrid. Reminds me of the drawing in Napolean Dynamite. But the weirdest was going to his house. His mother used to pick up road kill. She'd boil the skulls in a big pot in their backyard and then do indian beading on the skulls. EWWWWWWW Blanched beaded skulls eveywhere!!!!!


----------



## RedHead (Mar 15, 2006)

Okay...I dated this one guy that I knew used to be gay. He'd asked me out and I decided to give a spin. I introduced him to my family; who afterward pulled me aside and were like "Uhhhm he's a little effeminante"

I got a little tired after a while of telling him to open the door for me...I'm the queen now...not you!

Next...crazed ex-husband who after we are married I find out is a virgin (at 33) okay...well the reason he'd been a virgin so long; he didn't like sex....but if we were in public he'd grab at my breasts or ass. I punched him in Costco for that told him not to touch me again...needless to say it didn't last.

I have more weird guy stories...but that's diggin' deep and they are mostly just not funny


----------



## Miss Vickie (Mar 15, 2006)

I'm afraid I was probably the weird ex. 

The only thing that I can write publicly about my ex is that he slept with his baby blanket (called a "beek"), even after we lived together in our 20's. It was a stinky, pale yellow, frayed old thing and was nasty. I thought that was a little strange...


----------



## moonvine (Mar 15, 2006)

I'm more prone to abusive or assholish exes than weird ones. (Always, always working on that).

I can tell a story about the worst date I ever had though.

I went to this guy's apartment because he had bugged me forever and wanted me to come over to watch Jesus Christ Superstar because I had never seen it. So I went over there. He was drunk and kept fast forwarding through the main parts of the movie to get to the songs, so he could sing along with them. He wanted to drive my car (drunk!) um, no, only I drive my car and no one else. He whined continuously about not having a car and having to take the bus. He also brought his rats out and let them crawl all over. I am a big animal lover, but rats, not so much.

So that was my most memorable date to date.


----------



## moonvine (Mar 15, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> So I mentioned in another thread that I had a boyfriend who was a transvestite.



I had a guy who likes to cross dress sometimes decide he was going to move back to Texas for me. He used to live here and says I am genuine, whatever the hell that means. 

When he was leaving Texas he wanted me to rent a U-Haul in my name because his Louisiana driver's license had expired. I said no way, but I'll take you to DPS to get a Texas license. So I took him up there to DPS a couple of times, and apparently he thinks this is the greatest thing anyone ever did for him. He's vowed to move back here and court me. Whatever. He disappears from online for long periods of time. Pretty cute, but appears to have lots of problems. Also complains a lot. Hates Lousiana. Hates most stuff. 

Alas, this is the best offer I have gotten in QUITE some time.


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Mar 15, 2006)

moonvine said:


> I went to this guy's apartment because he had bugged me forever and wanted me to come over to watch Jesus Christ Superstar because I had never seen it. So I went over there. He was drunk and kept fast forwarding through the main parts of the movie to get to the songs, so he could sing along with them. He wanted to drive my car (drunk!) um, no, only I drive my car and no one else. He whined continuously about not having a car and having to take the bus. He also brought his rats out and let them crawl all over. I am a big animal lover, but rats, not so much.
> 
> So that was my most memorable date to date.



You win! Agghhh! Eww!


----------



## ThatFatGirl (Mar 15, 2006)

Here's my experience with someone slightly off the beaten path - I wouldn't say weird. I know this is in the realm of normal, I was just involved with someone who wasn't truly in touch with himself.

I was in a long-term relationship with a man not too long ago who one night wept and told me he had something he had to tell me. The weeping and stammering continued for what seemed like an hour though I'm sure it was much less. In my head I thought, "Oh God.. he's going to tell me he cheated on me." I just knew he was going to say it. Finally he got it out. He said he liked to dress in women's clothing sometimes and that it was usually at times of great stress in his life, he hadn't done it recently, etc. I was blown away, but so relieved that he hadn't cheated on me (I have a bad history of being involved with men who stray, so I am fearful bordering on paranoid about this). He could've said anything and I would've been accepting at that moment. I laughed a little and hugged him and told him it was OK and that he had no reason to be so upset. I told him I found it somewhat of a turn-on (did I really? I'm not sure. I used to think I was open to anything.). 

After that night he started emailing me links from time to time to articles about crossdressers. His fingernails which he kept at a longer-than-normal length were better groomed than mine. This puzzled me and was embarrassing at times around my family, though fortunately no one ever said anything. He took me to a gallery to see a photo exhibit featuring transvestites. He insisted I see his favorite movie of all time, "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" a film about a glam-rock transvestite. He was sorely disappointed that I fell asleep during the movie. I couldn't help it. I had heard him talk about it so much I already hated Hedwig. Why was he so into a transvestite movie? I just didn't want to know and allowed myself to drift off. 

One night I surprised him by wearing new lingerie and his response was, "Why is it only girls get to wear pretty stuff?" That was the last time I ever wore lingerie for him. 

Our relationship continued and while I knew the majority of crossdressers were straight, his penchant for friendships with gay men worried me. Oooh and I forget the exact conversation, but he once described himself as "heteroflexible" which meant by his definition that he loved women, but the idea of sex with a man wasn't entirely unappealing. I loved this man and believed we had a future together - but never discussed my fears with him. I KNOW now I was in denial. 

He broke up with me the day before our one year anniversary on my birthday and told me he no longer loved me, just like that. Two weeks prior he had told me he was considering a job in another state and wanted me to go with him. It made no sense to me that he stopped loving me so suddenly. I pressed him to tell me more and he said our goals were too different and while he used to think it didn't matter to him, the fact that I don't have an advanced degree was an issue for him. So we went our separate ways and I spent the next many months in therapy trying to figure out what happened over the last year. Did I mention my ex was a psychologist? Yep... hopefully he got some therapy himself. 

One night "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" came on IFC and I decided I would watch it and try to figure out why the exbf loved it so much. I was so moved by the film. I laughed. I cried. I cried more. I _loved_ Hedwig. Fast forward to today and I do have an understanding of that year and that relationship. Sometimes I still get mad at myself for keeping my worries to myself and not confronting him about things that now seemed so blatantly obvious. I learned some life lessons.. I grew. 

I might add that my boyfriend of nearly nine months is without question a heterosexual fat-loving male. I love him and life is good.


----------



## Emma (Mar 15, 2006)

moonvine said:


> I'm more prone to abusive or assholish exes than weird ones. (Always, always working on that).
> 
> I can tell a story about the worst date I ever had though.
> 
> ...



Oh moonvine you made me laugh lol


I've had some weird exes. Some stuff I'm best not posting on here. lol Infact I'll not post any.


----------



## moonvine (Mar 15, 2006)

I am a vine, not vile, thank you very much


----------



## Emma (Mar 15, 2006)

moonvine said:


> I am a vine, not vile, thank you very much



omg sorry LOL


----------



## SoVerySoft (Mar 15, 2006)

Ah, the stories I could tell you about my first husband. A very strange guy. But I think I'll pass.

I will, however tell you something about a couple of dates-from-hell (not with him - this was more recent). I will sum it up by giving men this advice:

_*Masturbation is NOT a good idea on a first date (unless it is by mutual consent).*_

'nuff said.


----------



## MWBBWFanMan (Mar 15, 2006)

I went out with a gal that was totally turned on by animals erections 
I found out on our first date and luckily never had a second date. Other than that deal most the gals I have gone out with are as level headed as can be expected. Everyone is different I guess and am pretty thankful to not find too many weirdos. Wait a minute....There are some others.....1. Gal I met online and when I went to see her I could tell she was slightly retarded. I totally couldn't tell by chatting or talking on the phone. One date only...No Kiss 2. Married woman I saw every other weekend for 4 months purely for fun/pleasure....I would pick her up at her house on Fridays and her husband would be there waving goodbye. I'd bring her home on Saturday or Sunday...He couldn't make things "work" the past 4 years and wasn't excited by her SSBBW frame...I met her on a personal ad with the "everyone has needs" heading on Yahoo Personals. She was normal in every aspect of life except the cheating part...I'm not sure if it's cheating though when her hubby gave her the green light and was 100% OK with this.... Oh well. It was kinda fun, but not fun at the same time. Tough to be with someone you know you will never have a "real" relationship with. BTW....Good idea for a thread


----------



## Ash (Mar 16, 2006)

MWBBWFanMan said:


> I went out with a gal that was totally turned on by animals erections




Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner...


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Mar 16, 2006)

SoVerySoft said:


> Ah, the stories I could tell you about my first husband. A very strange guy. But I think I'll pass.
> 
> I will, however tell you something about a couple of dates-from-hell (not with him - this was more recent). I will sum it up by giving men this advice:
> 
> ...



Randi did we date the same guy???????:shocked: It is possible. The one I dated was from New York City. LMAO!!!!


----------



## Jes (Mar 16, 2006)

SoVerySoft said:


> Ah, the stories I could tell you about my first husband. A very strange guy. But I think I'll pass.
> 
> I will, however tell you something about a couple of dates-from-hell (not with him - this was more recent). I will sum it up by giving men this advice:
> 
> ...



Randi? No. No. I simply will not tolerate this kind of story-tease without resolution. If you won't post it, at least write it up and send it to my inbox, yes? Thank you in advance.


----------



## Jes (Mar 16, 2006)

MWBBWFanMan said:


> I went out with a gal that was totally turned on by animals erections
> I found out on our first date and luckily never had a second date. Other than that deal most the gals I have gone out with are as level headed as can be expected. Everyone is different I guess and am pretty thankful to not find too many weirdos. Wait a minute....There are some others.....1. Gal I met online and when I went to see her I could tell she was slightly retarded. I totally couldn't tell by chatting or talking on the phone.


And you, Fan Man. I need details and context, please. How'd you find this out on the first date? That really does sound like a story. 
And the retarded woman. How did you not pick up on that on the phone???


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Mar 16, 2006)

My sister-in-law has a mentally handicapped sister who sounds quite normal.


----------



## Jes (Mar 16, 2006)

So is it a visual or a behavioral clue that would then tip you off upon meeting her? I am by no means trying to be rude, but I'm curious.


----------



## Dibaby35 (Mar 16, 2006)

Okay I have a good one. LOL..still makes me laugh.

Well my ex would clip his toenails and leave them on the end table. No big deal right? Well I would get pissy and say thats gross..and his response was that he was saving them. Well then I catch him actually "chewing" on the toenails. OMG...its just completely gross. This guy was wacko anyways so it nothing surprised me.


----------



## bigsexy920 (Mar 16, 2006)

Jes said:


> So is it a visual or a behavioral clue that would then tip you off upon meeting her? I am by no means trying to be rude, but I'm curious.




You are curious about odd things :shocked:


----------



## Red (Mar 16, 2006)

MWBBWFanMan said:


> I went out with a gal that was totally turned on by animals erections
> I found out on our first date and luckily never had a second date. Other than that deal most the gals I have gone out with are as level headed as can be expected. Everyone is different I guess and am pretty thankful to not find too many weirdos. Wait a minute....There are some others.....1. Gal I met online and when I went to see her I could tell she was slightly retarded. I totally couldn't tell by chatting or talking on the phone. One date only...No Kiss 2. Married woman I saw every other weekend for 4 months purely for fun/pleasure....I would pick her up at her house on Fridays and her husband would be there waving goodbye. I'd bring her home on Saturday or Sunday...He couldn't make things "work" the past 4 years and wasn't excited by her SSBBW frame...I met her on a personal ad with the "everyone has needs" heading on Yahoo Personals. She was normal in every aspect of life except the cheating part...I'm not sure if it's cheating though when her hubby gave her the green light and was 100% OK with this.... Oh well. It was kinda fun, but not fun at the same time. Tough to be with someone you know you will never have a "real" relationship with. BTW....Good idea for a thread






awwwww do you have so describe someone with a physical/mental disability as retarded? It is such a crappy word! 


and the animal eractions......words fail me!?!


----------



## Jes (Mar 16, 2006)

bigsexy920 said:


> You are curious about odd things :shocked:


I am curious about EVERYTHING. I have a million questions. I just LOVE to hear experiential things, and stories and what makes people tick. It's true. And I'm not ashamed.


----------



## bigsexy920 (Mar 16, 2006)

No reason for shame. I'm the same way acutally. 

So seen any good cameras latley ?


----------



## BLUEeyedBanshee (Mar 16, 2006)

SoVerySoft said:


> Ah, the stories I could tell you about my first husband. A very strange guy. But I think I'll pass.
> 
> I will, however tell you something about a couple of dates-from-hell (not with him - this was more recent). I will sum it up by giving men this advice:
> 
> ...




I'm sorry...I can't stop laughing at that one...I always wait for the second date at least before masturbating...hahahahahahaa

But...this reminds me...

Guy I went out with a few times...he and I go to a metro park. We go for a walk in the woods. He wants us both to strip down and go walking naked. I'm like ummmm no. Dude we've been on like 4 dates, most of which weren't all that great anyway, now you wanna get naked in the woods!! Well he said I didn't have to but he'd like to...and he stripped. Seriously. People weren't that far away. I was in shock. 

I stood there till he got dressed and took me home.


----------



## Dibaby35 (Mar 16, 2006)

This thread is a winner!..hehe

OMG..keep em comin!


----------



## Jes (Mar 16, 2006)

Red said:


> awwwww do you have so describe someone with a physical/mental disability as retarded? It is such a crappy word!
> 
> 
> and the animal eractions......words fail me!?!



Ok...is disabled more appropriate? I have always felt that retarded, in its literal meaning of 'slow' as not to be inaccurate or offensive. It just means slower in some ways than mainstream people. HOWEVER, I absolutely understand that people have issues with certain words and prefer some to others. But I don't always know the terms. ANd some terms I won't shy away from, either, regardless of the dirty looks I get. So is disabled the word of choice, here??


----------



## Jes (Mar 16, 2006)

bigsexy920 said:


> No reason for shame. I'm the same way acutally.
> 
> So seen any good cameras latley ?


haha. The last one I saw was in December, just before xmas, actually. It's nice enough. Comes with great attachments, though!


----------



## moonvine (Mar 16, 2006)

Jes said:


> Ok...is disabled more appropriate? I have always felt that retarded, in its literal meaning of 'slow' as not to be inaccurate or offensive. It just means slower in some ways than mainstream people. HOWEVER, I absolutely understand that people have issues with certain words and prefer some to others. But I don't always know the terms. ANd some terms I won't shy away from, either, regardless of the dirty looks I get. So is disabled the word of choice, here??




I used to work with people with developmental disabilities. The powers that be tend to constantly switch terminology, but the last I heard they wanted to be called "people with developmental disabilities" which is a bit cumbersome, but whatever. The idea is to put the person before the disorder.

The official diagnosis in the DSM-IV is still "mental retardation" AFAIK, though. Not sure if that will change in the next edition.


----------



## bigsexy920 (Mar 16, 2006)

Jes said:


> haha. The last one I saw was in December, just before xmas, actually. It's nice enough. Comes with great attachments, though!



As long as it took good pictures. NOt all camreas are able to capture the essence of their muse, if you will. 

:shocked:


----------



## Jes (Mar 16, 2006)

moonvine said:


> I used to work with people with developmental disabilities. The powers that be tend to constantly switch terminology, but the last I heard they wanted to be called "people with developmental disabilities" which is a bit cumbersome, but whatever. The idea is to put the person before the disorder.
> 
> The official diagnosis in the DSM-IV is still "mental retardation" AFAIK, though. Not sure if that will change in the next edition.


So that 'people' or 'person' would be in the term, you mean? I can understand that. Sort of like using 'female sex workers' as opposed to 'prostitutes.' There IS power in naming, I think, though not everyone would agree. I guess I tend to think 'person with mental retardation [as in slowness]' but I will certainly try to be more aware.


----------



## Jes (Mar 16, 2006)

bigsexy920 said:


> As long as it took good pictures. NOt all camreas are able to capture the essence of their muse, if you will.
> 
> :shocked:


This camera has a fairly long shuttle speed, which is a good thing, I suppose (considering the alternative). I think its BEST feature though is that you can take LOTS of photos with it. You can't get that kind of capability with every camera, especialy not the older ones!!


----------



## bigsexy920 (Mar 16, 2006)

I got for quality not quantity when it comes to camera shots. 

The newer models tend to have lots of things I don't know how to use or they tend to be tricky in general.


----------



## Jes (Mar 16, 2006)

bigsexy920 said:


> I got for quality not quantity when it comes to camera shots.
> 
> The newer models tend to have lots of things I don't know how to use or they tend to be tricky in general.


 Certainly I like both, but as far as taking the pix, I actually like quantity. Now, in terms of the camera and the stuff that comes with it, quality is best, I agree.


----------



## bradlm (Mar 16, 2006)

SoVerySoft said:


> Ah, the stories I could tell you about my first husband. A very strange guy. But I think I'll pass.
> 
> I will, however tell you something about a couple of dates-from-hell (not with him - this was more recent). I will sum it up by giving men this advice:
> 
> ...


ok...there was something really wrong with that guy! Was it a blind date, I hope!!


----------



## Jes (Mar 16, 2006)

bradlm said:


> ok...there was something really wrong with that guy! Was it a blind date, I hope!!


It was a blind AND a hairy-palmed date. Bwahahahaha.

I'm still waiting for this story, btw. Please to be indulging me.


----------



## bradlm (Mar 16, 2006)

ok..not quite sure if this is up to some of these stories, but in my youth I dated this wonderful girl..really was in love with her. She had multiple personalities, but we worked around that. We had the most amazing sex..until she decided she didn't want to have sex ever again, with anyone. She lived in a run down building in the east village, even though she had an nice trust fund, I later found out the guy 2 floors below her had killed his gf and kept her bones in an acid-filled bathtub in the apartment. We finally broke up over the fact that...umm..well one night she called me to tell me I was a Yuppie, I was the furthest thing from it, and that she couldn't bare to be with me. 

Then there was the girl in college who liked blowing me after softball games and who once spit my semen onto her dorm window and LEFT IT THERE to remind her of me......I ran from that relationship...though the head was good 

Yeah, I like em loopy I guess


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Mar 16, 2006)

Well I could tell you my story about my one date with the *Masturbator* but no one asked me. *sniff*


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Mar 16, 2006)

Jes said:


> So is it a visual or a behavioral clue that would then tip you off upon meeting her? I am by no means trying to be rude, but I'm curious.



For my SIL's sis? Behavioral, definately. She tends to be a little on the impulsive side. Example: When she was 18 and had "female problems," my mom offered to take her to the GYN. She SCREAMED, "No! They'll shove that thing up me!" Probably one of my favorite memories. Really though, she's a very nice girl who you can't help but like.


----------



## bradlm (Mar 16, 2006)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Well I could tell you my story about my one date with the *Masturbator* but no one asked me. *sniff*


Please, regale us


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Mar 16, 2006)

bradlm said:


> Please, regale us



*HUMPH*

Not unless you beg!
(arms crossed back turned)


----------



## Jes (Mar 16, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> For my SIL's sis? Behavioral, definately. She tends to be a little on the impulsive side. Example: When she was 18 and had "female problems," my mom offered to take her to the GYN. She SCREAMED, "No! They'll shove that thing up me!" Probably one of my favorite memories. Really though, she's a very nice girl who you can't help but like.


Apparently, I'm also a person with a dev. disability then because this is exactly what I say whenever they try to take ME to the vagina doctor!


----------



## Jes (Mar 16, 2006)

bradlm said:


> Please, regale us


Seconded. 

Now, spill.
(heehee)


----------



## Red (Mar 16, 2006)

Jes said:


> Ok...is disabled more appropriate? I have always felt that retarded, in its literal meaning of 'slow' as not to be inaccurate or offensive. It just means slower in some ways than mainstream people. HOWEVER, I absolutely understand that people have issues with certain words and prefer some to others. But I don't always know the terms. ANd some terms I won't shy away from, either, regardless of the dirty looks I get. So is disabled the word of choice, here??





Retarded in its official term I guess does mean slow.... But the phrase 'Retard' which stems from it, I find is only really used in a derogatory way. It is a word that in all honesty I have never heard used alot in this country in day to day use or on television. I have only really seen it used in a negative way ( mainly movies from the U.S) and I guess that is why I hate it so much, as it is generally meant in spite. Along with the other usual suspects.....'Spazz', 'spastic'..'Joey' etc etc . 

I guess the theory goes if your used to hearing it , it doesnt offend. If it was said to anyone in the U.K you would more than likely get a raised eyebrow at the least or at worst a smack in the chops!


 Jes' in response to the question, the word disabled can mean so much, but basically it means something is 'Impaired'/broken' but on the other hand 'Retarded' means 'slow/to slow down' 

so to call some one Retarded can be offensive as their body/functions may be slow or different but the brain is still fast and 'with it'.

I reckon the best overall word is disabled, as it is such an all rounder. If more description is needed just say the medical condition as it is. 

Sorry if I have wound anyone up about all this I just felt I had to explain how terminology can differ and offend from country to country.

In all honesty I love talking about this as I find it very interesting.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Mar 16, 2006)

Jes said:


> Seconded.
> 
> Now, spill.
> (heehee)



Oh OK!

I was in my late 20's - very shy and it was a fix up. He was taking the train out of NY to a station close to where I lived in NJ - so I picked him up at the train station. 

He got in my car. We started talking and I started to drive to the restaurant we were going to. He got quiet. He then whispered to me - "Hey honey look at this." I turned my head to look and he had his penis out and was stroking himself. ALL within 20 minutes of meeting him.!!!!!!!!

I stopped the car - turned it around went back to the train station and told him to get out. HE called me uptight and left in a huff!!!

He even had the nerve to call me a few weeks later and wanted phone sex.:doh: 

So that's my story.


----------



## Jes (Mar 16, 2006)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Oh OK!
> 
> I was in my late 20's - very shy and it was a fix up. He was taking the train out of NY to a station close to where I lived in NJ - so I picked him up at the train station.
> 
> ...


questions: was this a general set up or an fa/bbw set up (and no one start yelling at me that it shouldn't matter. i'm not saying it should matter. i'm asking a question. and me and my cat hat are FINE with that)? 

who the hell set you up with him?

and a comment: i LOVE how he called you 'honey.' Touching. Well, touching himself, at least.

Thanks for the details.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Mar 16, 2006)

Jes said:


> questions: was this a general set up or an fa/bbw set up (and no one start yelling at me that it shouldn't matter. i'm not saying it should matter. i'm asking a question. and me and my cat hat are FINE with that)?
> 
> who the hell set you up with him?
> 
> ...




Sad as it may sound it was a Dating service set up! I kid you not.

Yes Honey was a nice touch. But for me the best part was when he called me for phone sex!!!! LMAO!


----------



## SoVerySoft (Mar 16, 2006)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Randi did we date the same guy???????:shocked: It is possible. The one I dated was from New York City. LMAO!!!!



Maybe! there were 2 - one of them was from NYC. Quite cute but...


----------



## SoVerySoft (Mar 16, 2006)

bradlm said:


> ok...there was something really wrong with that guy! Was it a blind date, I hope!!



Two different guys - and no, not really a blind date - we'd chatted for a while before meeting.


----------



## missaf (Mar 16, 2006)

I could tell you about my ex... but it was so bad that I was ostracized from some of my closest friends and neighbors because of his behaviors. It totally destroyed my life for many years, and I'm still getting over it. I'd rather not chase away new friends, too.


----------



## SoVerySoft (Mar 16, 2006)

Jes said:


> I'm still waiting for this story, btw. Please to be indulging me.




Hey, you asked me at 9 AM...I wasn't about to write this kinda stuff from WORK! lol

Here goes.

Jerkoff #1: After a pretty annoying dinner date (I'll leave those details out, even tho they contributed to the overall "date from hell" experience) we went to my car. Yeah, ok, even tho I wasn't really interested, he was cute so I let him kiss me. My fault! After a few kisses he reaches into his pants and decides he needs to relieve himself. I said "no no no...no you don't" and he said "but I _have_ to". I said, "Look, if I don't have to, you don't have to, so restrain yourself." 

He ignored me and reassured me that he wouldn't get it on my (then) new car. Swell. What a prince. 

He completed his task, and needed to go wash up. He got out of the car. I left. Bleh!

A week later I saw him online and I was quite cold to him. He said, "I know why you're pissed." (I thought the man must be a genius.) But no. He thought I was annoyed because he hadn't gotten in touch with me all week! puhleeeeze!!

I still see him now and then at BBW events. Hard to take him particularly seriously.


#2. This one was a bit more tactful. He came to my house (yeah, I know, what was I thinking - the first time I meet someone??) but we'd been chatting for several months. I didn't want to date him (he was about 20 years younger than I am!) but finally agreed to meet him and hang out one evening. So he comes over and we were kissing (ok, so I used to kiss a lot. I was newly single! lol) and he realized I wasn't going any further. So he announced that he was going to go into the bathroom and take care of it.

Umm...why not just say he has to go to the bathroom? Why *tell* me he is going to do that??? :doh: It was too bizarre. So there I am sitting on the couch, and 10 feet away in the bathroom this guy is taking care of business. And not the usual bathroom business. sigh.

So those are my 2 first-date-self-love stories


----------



## MWBBWFanMan (Mar 16, 2006)

Jes said:


> And you, Fan Man. I need details and context, please. How'd you find this out on the first date? That really does sound like a story.
> And the retarded woman. How did you not pick up on that on the phone???



We were talking about things that excite each other and she went into the animal penis thing. I tried to listen and learn, but thought it was just not right...You know what though? Im glad I found out right away. The mentally challenged woman was intelligent on the phone when I spoke with her. In person though, I could just sorta tell she wasn't all there.


----------



## MWBBWFanMan (Mar 16, 2006)

Red said:


> awwwww do you have so describe someone with a physical/mental disability as retarded? It is such a crappy word!
> 
> 
> and the animal eractions......words fail me!?!



What is the proper term? Mentally challenged? Mentally handicapped? Developmently Disabled? I have a cousin that fits this criteria. I say that she is retarted. No disrespect is meant. That's the term for what she has. She lives in a group home and is a greeter at a Target 3-4 days a week. 

LOL...I was trying to be PC when I spoke of animal erections...What else do you say? The dog's boner is hot? I don't get it at all and have no interest in learning about it more...Some things just don't seem right and I tend to not want to leaarn more about those sorta things. I hope that makes sense.


----------



## Michelle (Mar 16, 2006)

bigsexy920 said:


> You are curious about odd things :shocked:


 
Funny. I love her curiosity. She asks the questions I ask in my head and don't post but would most certainly ask if I was sitting next to the person.


----------



## Michelle (Mar 16, 2006)

Jes said:


> I am curious about EVERYTHING. I have a million questions. I just LOVE to hear experiential things, and stories and what makes people tick. It's true. And I'm not ashamed.


 
Ditto! ditto


----------



## Wayne_Zitkus (Mar 16, 2006)

I don't really have any stories anywhere NEAR the magnitude of some of the ones that have been posted so far - especially Sandie's and SoVerySoft's.....

The one that comes to mind was a girl I dated for a few months in 1981. I think it was out third or fourth date when she asked me when i was going to convert to Judaism so we could get married.

Not exactly weird, but it did leave me speechless.

And of course there was the woman I dated only a few times (2 or 3) around trhe time I met Sandie. When I told her that I was going to date Sandie exclusively, she told me she was pregnant.

Which I knew was physically impossible. Trust me, I know.

This woman was friends with the woman who ran the Pocano NAFFA chapter at the time. I later found out that another woman in that chapter used the same "I'm pregnant" story to try and trap a guy. Looks like it was a standard ploy......


----------



## Janet (Mar 16, 2006)

Ok, so this is my first date, ever. I was 13/14 and a guy I'd just met at a friend's party invited me to the Going Back to School Dance. My older sister volunteered to drive us.

The night of the dance, I got all dressed up and even wore my sister's wooden heels , but when we got to his place, he was mowing the lawn. He had forgotten, plus he was dirty and sweaty. So, we waited while he took a shower. (I was SO embarassed.)

At the dance, he kept pawing at me, grinding, and directing us into dark corners near the bleachers. (I remember slobber...lots of slobber.) Needless to say, I was thrilled when my sister finally came to pick us up. 

On the way home, I was emotionally drained, so I just stared out the window. Before too long, he reached over and took my hand. It was really very sweet and gentle...

It was in such sharp contrast to anything about the earlier part of the evening. I thought he must have realized he needed to go a little slower with me....I remember thinking how tenderly he took my hand... 






until he laid it on his penis! 

With my sister in the front seat!! 

I was shocked and mortified! Unfortunately, I was also a very docile young woman. As I recall, I took my hand back and said, "No, thank you.":doh: 

I have no idea how he ended his part of the story. As for me, I stared out the window with my hands clinched until we dropped him off!

Years later I told my sister about it and we had a huge laugh! She wanted to respect my privacy, so she never even looked in the rear view mirror!


----------



## Jes (Mar 16, 2006)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Sad as it may sound it was a Dating service set up! I kid you not.
> 
> Yes Honey was a nice touch. But for me the best part was when he called me for phone sex!!!! LMAO!


oh no! they HAD to have known about him! i'm sure other women complained!

my god.


----------



## Jes (Mar 16, 2006)

SoVerySoft said:


> So those are my 2 first-date-self-love stories


Every girl should have one!

Thanks, Randi!

You know...I'm building a body of evidence, a critical mass, if you will (and I hear many of you do). I haven't heard these stories from thin female friends (which means absolutely nothing, but it's worth mentioning). Now if you add in guys who...hmnn...finish before anything really begins, with that same sort of: oh, sorry, i had to! thing going (perhaps more common than 1st date self love), I've heard a whole big handful (!) of these stories from Dim women in the last 2 weeks. Is it that so many of these men are just NOT able to be around us fat women intimately that when they get the chance, it's out of control (and they're jerks)? 

I ask this not b/c guys can't also do this with thin women, but I've certainly not heard of it. And you all know I'm curious as hell. I would've heard it by now if it happened to women I know.

Thoughts? Correct me if you know otherwise. 

I also REALLY wish I'd remembered to tell the Train Station Caper story at the Edison Foodie Lunch a few weeks ago, now. It's a crowd pleaser!


----------



## Jes (Mar 16, 2006)

Michelle said:


> Funny. I love her curiosity. She asks the questions I ask in my head and don't post but would most certainly ask if I was sitting next to the person.


Apparently, I've just learned that I'm demasculating and a ball buster, perhaps for doing just this very thing. Hmmn.

Anyway, do you still respect me in the morning, Michelle? I mean, you appreciate me b/c I ask what you want to know, but would that make you more likely to want to be a close friend, or less likely (or would it have no effect)?


----------



## Fuzzy (Mar 16, 2006)

In spite of the differences my ex and I have.. after reading this thread I count myself very very lucky to have the ex I do.

But she was better before she was an ex.


----------



## Santaclear (Mar 16, 2006)

Janet said:


> Ok, so this is my first date, ever. I was 13/14 and a guy I'd just met at a friend's party invited me to the Going Back to School Dance. My older sister volunteered to drive us.
> The night of the dance, I got all dressed up and even wore my sister's wooden heels , but when we got to his place, he was mowing the lawn. He had forgotten, plus he was dirty and sweaty. So, we waited while he took a shower. (I was SO embarassed.)
> At the dance, he kept pawing at me, grinding, and directing us into dark corners near the bleachers. (I remember slobber...lots of slobber.) Needless to say, I was thrilled when my sister finally came to pick us up.
> On the way home, I was emotionally drained, so I just stared out the window. Before too long, he reached over and took my hand. It was really very sweet and gentle...
> ...



Geez, what a story! So many of these make me embarrassed to be male hahahaha. :doh:


----------



## RedHead (Mar 16, 2006)

Jes said:


> Apparently, I've just learned that I'm demasculating and a ball buster, perhaps for doing just this very thing. Hmmn.
> 
> Anyway, do you still respect me in the morning, Michelle? I mean, you appreciate me b/c I ask what you want to know, but would that make you more likely to want to be a close friend, or less likely (or would it have no effect)?



Jes, I SHOUT IT FROM THE MOUNTAIN TOPS...You are so cool it hurts my teeth! 

Ball buster or demasculating....hmmmm I don't think so; you just tell it like it is...some people just can't take it.


----------



## Jes (Mar 16, 2006)

Santaclear said:


> Geez, what a story! So many of these make me embarrassed to be male hahahaha. :doh:


I think a little something like this happened to me once. Not a date though. And it turned me on (I was always very curious to see how...parts worked). With me, though, it's always something. Like, the guy who was coming on to me at the 8th grade grad. party (I think we were in 7th grade, but my friend was his neighbor so we were invited), was the object of my friend's affections. And so I just felt I could NOT accept the advances, even though I wanted that first kiss, or first grope or first WHATEVER I would've gotten that night. I fucked that up and didn't get another change for aaaages. 

It's always like that for me. It's always like some weird star-crossed lover thing and I can't even try it out. Now a lot of people would call BS on the cock-blocking, but I'm a nice person, and I don't. I'm always going w/o what I want to spare the feelings of others. Always. But do they do it for me? OH NO. I've been left at bars on my own by friends who hooked up and left, i've been stuck int he back seat of cars (alone) while friends made out in the front (2 door car, I couldn't get out), etc. etc. 

If I had it to do over again, I'd be out for myself a bit more. I mean, everyone else did it, it wasn't like I would've been acting alone.


----------



## Jack Skellington (Mar 17, 2006)

Jes said:


> Ok...is disabled more appropriate? I have always felt that retarded, in its literal meaning of 'slow' as not to be inaccurate or offensive. It just means slower in some ways than mainstream people.



I always use the more polite terms like tards, pugs and mongoloids. But I'm just cool like that.

_
Disclaimer: I am just kidding. Do not fill Jack's PM box with hate mail._


----------



## Ash (Mar 17, 2006)

Jes said:


> I've been left at bars on my own by friends who hooked up and left, i've been stuck int he back seat of cars (alone) while friends made out in the front



Ugh. This has happened to me more recently than I'd care to admit.


----------



## Santaclear (Mar 17, 2006)

Jes said:


> It's always like that for me. It's always like some weird star-crossed lover thing and I can't even try it out. Now a lot of people would call BS on the cock-blocking, but I'm a nice person, and I don't. I'm always going w/o what I want to spare the feelings of others. Always. But do they do it for me? OH NO. I've been left at bars on my own by friends who hooked up and left, i've been stuck int he back seat of cars (alone) while friends made out in the front (2 door car, I couldn't get out), etc. etc.
> If I had it to do over again, I'd be out for myself a bit more. I mean, everyone else did it, it wasn't like I would've been acting alone.



Yeah, we learn this stuff in hindsight. I always totally avoided the dating-and-bars thing anyway so my story is somewhat different than yours but the results sound similar. Good story of being stuck in the back seat in the 2-door car. Romantic!


----------



## Michelle (Mar 17, 2006)

Jes said:


> Apparently, I've just learned that I'm demasculating and a ball buster, perhaps for doing just this very thing. Hmmn.
> 
> Anyway, do you still respect me in the morning, Michelle? I mean, you appreciate me b/c I ask what you want to know, but would that make you more likely to want to be a close friend, or less likely (or would it have no effect)?


 
That must be my problem too (the first paragraph).

Oh, I'd still respect you in the morning, cuz I do this to people in real life. They get sick of my questions. So, it would be more likely we'd be close friends. We could corner people and just make them answer question after question after question. That'd kinda be our once a week girlfriend date. Just random acts of question terror.


----------



## Boteroesque Babe (Mar 17, 2006)

SoVerySoft said:


> _*Masturbation is NOT a good idea on a first date (unless it is by mutual consent).*_


You promised you wouldn't tell anyone, Sove! Gyah!


----------



## Jes (Mar 17, 2006)

Santaclear said:


> Yeah, we learn this stuff in hindsight. I always totally avoided the dating-and-bars thing anyway so my story is somewhat different than yours but the results sound similar. Good story of being stuck in the back seat in the 2-door car. Romantic!


With my best friend, who was visiting MY college town (she never went to college) and found some guy in a bar after 2 hours after my inability to find a guy in a bar in 2 years! Can you picture the scene??? I'm like: this is my COLLEGE and I can't find anyone, and you just drove into town 2 hours ago, and now it's make out central. And they wouldn't stop. I was even asking them to, and they ignored me, for like 45 min. I'm sure she would've gone home with him if I hadn't said: Hello? You came here to visit me, I've made up my bed for you, you can't go home with him!


----------



## Jes (Mar 17, 2006)

Michelle said:


> That must be my problem too (the first paragraph).
> 
> .


Yeah. I was gonna say, I'm real tired of being told "I can't imagine you as a Mother. You don't seem warm or nurturing."

Oh. thanks. What? I mean, how 1 dimensional do people think we are? If you're one thing, does that mean you can't be anything else? I don't think so. I know how complex human beings are. 

Anyway, Michelle, maybe you and I willjust have to go out on a first date. And masturbate.


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Mar 18, 2006)

I'm not warm or nurturing, and that won't stop me from having kids!


----------



## Jane (Mar 18, 2006)

Santaclear said:


> Geez, what a story! So many of these make me embarrassed to be male hahahaha. :doh:


Trust me, Santaclear, we have just as many "You would not believe the shit my female friend pulled last night" stories....more actually. Many more now that I think of it.


----------



## Jane (Mar 18, 2006)

Jes said:


> Apparently, I've just learned that I'm demasculating and a ball buster, perhaps for doing just this very thing. Hmmn.
> 
> Anyway, do you still respect me in the morning, Michelle? I mean, you appreciate me b/c I ask what you want to know, but would that make you more likely to want to be a close friend, or less likely (or would it have no effect)?


Jes, REAL men don't feel that way. They love the strength, the wit, the courage. Thank God for REAL men without all the "me male, me in charge" baggage.


----------



## love dubh (Mar 18, 2006)

I'm in the same boat as those with psychotic exes.

My first, when I was 15, would constantly reach his hands up my shirt and grope my breasts. In public (company of friends, but still!) in this taco joint we always went to after concerts. It made me uncomfortable, and I didn't like it. It embarassed me. But, I didn't say anything. I swear to you, I justified it by saying *"this is how boyfriends and girlfriends act." *. When I told that story, recently, to my anarchist-feminist friend, Justin, he screamed into a pillow in sheer frustration. And I'm sure I'm not the only young woman who has had that experience and had that sort of thought process. It's horrifying, really, that I ever considered the violation of my body as someone else's liberty. What sort of society produces that sort of mentality?

Luckily, now, I realize that that sort of shit should never, ever happen. Nor should lesser, more subte forms of disrespect occur. But why couldn't I have this epiphany as soon as that happened?


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Mar 18, 2006)

That sucks, Maire. I had an ex (Stream Pisser Boy) who started being excessively grabby and uncomfortably sexual after the relationship started going down the toilet. (He was too damned lazy to get a job and took to living off his mom, friends, and me.) People who do this, IMHO, are incredibly insecure.


----------



## love dubh (Mar 18, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> That sucks, Maire. I had an ex (Stream Pisser Boy) who started being excessively grabby and uncomfortably sexual after the relationship started going down the toilet. (He was too damned lazy to get a job and took to living off his mom, friends, and me.) People who do this, IMHO, are incredibly insecure.



Oh, of course. It was his way of feeling powerful. Then, when I broke it off, he wished for my swift, painful death. Verbally. 

I have had the misfortune of dating jerks. That first was manipulative through force, the second boy was harmless (just played video games all the time, leaving me in the affectionately termed "video game hole"), the third was subtlely manipulative through his "poor me, pity me" bullshit. The second, short but sweet relationship, was infinitely better, and this current one better still. Yay, progression and me not sucking in the dating game!


----------



## Jack Skellington (Mar 18, 2006)

Jes said:


> I'm real tired of being told "I can't imagine you as a Mother. You don't seem warm or nurturing."



I picture you the opposite. You're just a big softy at heart. 

Back on to the topic of weird dates...

I take pride in knowing that I would be the weird date. If I ever got dates that is. But that of course goes without saying.


----------



## rainyday (Mar 18, 2006)

Jes said:


> Yeah. I was gonna say, I'm real tired of being told "I can't imagine you as a Mother. You don't seem warm or nurturing."



I can totally see you as a mother. A really fun and wacky (but not too-lenient) one. You remind me of one of my mom's best friends, actually. She's a mom to two.


----------



## saucywench (Mar 19, 2006)

Jes said:


> Ok...is disabled more appropriate? I have always felt that retarded, in its literal meaning of 'slow' as not to be inaccurate or offensive. It just means slower in some ways than mainstream people. HOWEVER, I absolutely understand that people have issues with certain words and prefer some to others. But I don't always know the terms. ANd some terms I won't shy away from, either, regardless of the dirty looks I get. So is disabled the word of choice, here??


I tend to use the term "developmentally delayed." A Google search of the phrase seems to indicate widespread acceptance/use of this terminology.


----------



## olivefun (Mar 19, 2006)

As a disclaimer, I will say that this one is not an ex of mine or anyone I personally know.

One of my dear friends is having a tattoo taken off her upper arm and I am taking her to the office of the man who will do this every 2 months(!) for the next 8-10 months(!!) It is a pretty nice tattoo, a celtic thing, but she is tired of it and now has a job where it is better that she not have this thing (that she has grown to hate).
In the office waiting room, we see a young woman regularly who is having her former boyfriend's name taken of the _*majority*_ of her body.

Incredible!
What had she been thinking?
:doh: 

I would say she is in her late twenties now.
The former boyfriend's name is Johnny and her current boyfriend is paying for these laser treatments. They are costly and painful and a huge committment of time.

wild.

 

All those Johnny tattoos must have taken a long time to exectute, plenty of time for her to come to her senses!

Yipes!


----------



## Boteroesque Babe (Mar 19, 2006)

Wouldn't it be easier just to find another Johnny?

Anywayzz, I find myself checking this thread regularly, to make sure none of my exes are posting about me. So far, so good.


----------



## olivefun (Mar 19, 2006)

Boteroesque Babe said:


> Wouldn't it be easier just to find another Johnny?


 
LOL 
that is good. 
What would the personal ad be? 

Single woman looking for single man. Is your name Johnny? Want to change it to Johnny? 

Can you imagine meeting the new Johnny's parents having your arms and legs visible with "Johnny" all over? 

Johnny Be Good? 


My real name is an unusual one. I dated a guy when I was in my 20's that had an unusual name too, and it sounded like a masculine version of my name. His father was sure that I got people to call me this name because of my feelings for his son. 

Heehee 

It would be like a Paul and a Paula dating, but both names are very unheard of.


----------



## Jane (Mar 19, 2006)

Boteroesque Babe said:


> Wouldn't it be easier just to find another Johnny?
> 
> Anywayzz, I find myself checking this thread regularly, to make sure none of my exes are posting about me. So far, so good.


BB, all they could say is, "I was a fool. I blew the best relationship of my life."


----------



## Boteroesque Babe (Mar 19, 2006)

Jane said:


> BB, all they could say is, "I was a fool. I blew the best relationship of my life."


Please leave my sex life outta this, Jane.


----------



## Jane (Mar 19, 2006)

I'm sorry, I'm incapable of leaving anyone's sex life out of anything. I'm a Scorpio....back off.


----------



## Ryan (Mar 19, 2006)

I guess my life has been pretty uneventful. I've had some ex-girlfriends who were unpleasant people, but none that could be described as truly weird.


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Mar 19, 2006)

Ryan said:


> I guess my life has been pretty uneventful. I've had some ex-girlfriends who were unpleasant people, but none that could be described as truly weird.



If you move to Tennessee, I can see that it's changed, by me or someone even weirder!


----------



## exile in thighville (Jul 2, 2006)

RedHead said:


> Okay...I dated this one guy that I knew used to be gay. He'd asked me out and I decided to give a spin. I introduced him to my family; who afterward pulled me aside and were like "Uhhhm he's a little effeminante"
> 
> I got a little tired after a while of telling him to open the door for me...I'm the queen now...not you!
> 
> ...



uhh...i just dusted off this old-ass yet never more entertaining thread. but for future reference kids, i don't think someone can "used" to be gay...it's not something you outgrow, with the exception of maybe someone very confused about their sexuality misidentifying themselves early


----------



## Sweet Tooth (Jul 3, 2006)

Damn, how did I miss this thread back in March??

The first "out" FA I dated has to be my weirdest ex. I met him at my first NAAFA meeting back in college, where we were the only 2 people under... um.... I'll say 30. 

We only went out for a few weeks, although we saw each other fairly often during those weeks. I knew he had expressed interest in a coworker, but he said he decided to not pursue that once he met me. Suddenly, after 3 weeks, he decided to stop talking to me or taking my calls for no apparent reason. Actually, I know the reason. He was one of those who put women on pedestals and then were quickly disillusioned. But that's not the weird bit....

I found out he moved to another state, married his cousin, divorced his cousin, moved across the country, married someone else, went back to the previous state, remarried the cousin without divorcing the other woman... the guy is just a mess, and I'm so glad I only wasted 3 weeks on him!


----------



## love dubh (Jul 3, 2006)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Oh OK!
> 
> I was in my late 20's - very shy and it was a fix up. He was taking the train out of NY to a station close to where I lived in NJ - so I picked him up at the train station.
> 
> ...



Hey, Sandie, which station? Clifton and New Brunswick have some weirdos.


----------



## Jes (Jul 3, 2006)

Sweet Tooth said:


> I found out he moved to another state, married his cousin, divorced his cousin, moved across the country, married someone else, went back to the previous state, remarried the cousin without divorcing the other woman... the guy is just a mess, and I'm so glad I only wasted 3 weeks on him!


I wouldn't call that a mess, but I WOULD call it a country song.
Still, he sounds fun. I mean, he'd never be boring. Insane, yes, boring, no.

Now, have I described the small asian boy with the stuffed toy dog, yet?


----------



## chocolate desire (Jul 3, 2006)

SoVerySoft said:


> _*Masturbation is NOT a good idea on a first date (unless it is by mutual consent).*_
> 
> 'nuff said.


Hey I think I dated this guy to... I shudder to think there are two guys like this somewhere.


----------

