# Wedding Dresses for the unconventional plus-sized bride?



## knottyknicky (May 8, 2010)

So I'm having a wedding (already married, long story) in about a year and need a dress. Actually, I already have a dress, but I'm starting to wonder if its what I really want. What it comes down to in the end is the venue we choose. We've narrowed our venues down to 3 or so choices. Here are our choices, if that helps you understand the aesthetic I'm struggling with. 

Choice 1, an awesome hotel back home that I hang out at a lot when I'm there:



















Choice 2, one of Dean Martin's old places:



















We love both places although they're both totally different. The dress I own already would be perfect for the first place, as its got that kind of earthy desert vibe. We love the 2nd venue though, and its a LOT cheaper than the hotel since we can bring in our own catering, booze, etc, but I don't think my dress would work at all there, as its so clean, crisp, and modern, and my dress is kinda organic and not really the look at all. I don't really want a typical bridal dress, although I like some of the funkier ones. I don't want to wear all white, and I feel like at the 2nd venue I'd kind of have to wear something as crisp and clean and architectural as the house. So, I'm stuck...but I figure my advantage is that since I don't require a 'wedding gown' I have more options. Here's a photo of the dress I already have, and I was thinking to wear it either with a vintage/desert flair (think birdcage veil, bleached peacock fascinators, pearls, etc) or maybe with some bright, fun jewelry and shoes, like turquoise, coral, or a deep emerald green. I know theres lots of style savvy ladies on here who maybe have seen something around that might work. I really like jcrew's wedding gowns but alas, I'm not a size 8. 

Anyway, here's the dress I have already, and for 75 bucks! Score!







So there we go. Halp!


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## gobettiepurple (May 8, 2010)

*

I love the idea of vintage desert with a birdcage veil and tourquois!






I vote for that! The vintage desert theme would look amazing on you!

*


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## knottyknicky (May 8, 2010)

Thats what I really want, I just worry it won't go with that 2nd venue, which seems to be the way we're leaning, since it is so much more affordable than a hotel shindig. 

Sigh. That veil basically hits the nail head on. Actually, while I'm at it: 


















EEEeeeeEeEEee!


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## gobettiepurple (May 8, 2010)

*The venue is truly breath-taking, but remember that you are the one setting the stage. Its your wedding. Anything goes.

Are you afraid that it won't be, like dramatic enough or that it won't look dressed up enough?

You can make any tone and statement you want at your wedding.

Have fun and do what you want - don't over think it!*


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## gobettiepurple (May 8, 2010)

*Try this girls blog, some very cute ideas, which you can easily fit your dress into:

http://modernvintagebride.blogspot.com/*


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## Tania (May 8, 2010)

Venue #2 bring tears of joy to my eyes and warmth to my heart (which is shaped like a lucite grape lamp). 

If you don't want to spend more money, you could *totally* retro-out that dress. I love the Adriana Papell bandage/layer styles!

Maybe do a short sixties-style jacket with it in a matching sand/champagne color? Single layer, no lining. And sleek 1960s pumps or slingbacks? With a little pillbox "hat" comb dressed with English net? The feather veil in the photograph would work well, too. You could still do turquoise jewelry - maybe some vintage earclips? If you're into them, one or two-button length white gloves would be cute, too. 

If you decide your existing dress just isn't going to work, Kiyonna does wedding gowns - they're sleek, late-forties lace, which is midcentury modern, but not quite as atomic age as the 1960s architecture of the venue. They also do very sixtiesish cocktail dresses. They don't stock 'em in white, but it couldn't hurt to ask if they'd do a custom. Igigi sometimes does semi-custom wedding gowns, that I know for sure. 

Disney Brides and Badgeley-Mischka do/have done gowns similar to those on the J Crew site in plus sizes. All else fails, try David's; they usualy carry a selection of "in" styles that are sometimes deeply discounted. 

You could also find a period design and have someone recreate it for you.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (May 8, 2010)

I have to know - how can you rent one of Deano's homes? And where is it???


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## knottyknicky (May 8, 2010)

Thanks for the links, ladies 

I think my concern is that while the dress would totally work for the first venue, I'm not sure it would work for the second one. Its not really about 'retroing it out' as I already had that in the works, its more that the house is so clean, white, and crisp that I think something more modern (and more 'white') would match the feel of the home a lot better than my funky desert inspired idea of what our wedding would be had we planned it at venue 1 or out in the desert somewhere. As much as I adore mid century design, I don't want the wedding to be too 'themed' but I do want the feel of the dress to match the venue. I just wonder if the dress is too 'earthy' to go with the mid century house. I had this whole vision for our wedding, kinda out in the desert, no flowers, just succulents and maybe some handmade paper flowers. Lots of votives, kinda earthy-minimalist, if that makes any sense. I can still do the minimalist thing with the house if we chose that, but I feel like it would need to be a much sleeker minimalism than if we did something at the first venue where its got a much more organic feel. 

And yeah I know its my wedding, but being a visual person it has to be designed well too


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## knottyknicky (May 8, 2010)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I have to know - how can you rent one of Deano's homes? And where is it???



In the Palm Springs area there are several old homes for rent...those of Frank Sinatra, Gene Autry, Marilyn Monroe, etc. Just google "Palm Springs Vacation Rentals" and you'll find tons.


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## Tania (May 9, 2010)

Definitely check Igigi and Kiyonna.  Nordstrom and Dillard's are worth looking at, too. 

I agree that your initial 20s/30s-by-way-of-the-1970s accessories styling idea won't work as well at the Dean Martin house, but as you mentioned, that can be shifted a notch to compensate. That's why I recommended styling details out of the 50s/60s (and that's what I meant by retro).  They're fun without the funky, though I do like the funky. 

I've tried on your very dress in baby blue, but I've never seen the sand color in person - if it's much darker/warmer than it appears in the photos, I can understand your concern. But while you want to "match," you don't want to blend into your surroundings, either. The dress *is* curvy and, taken as a whole effect, somewhat fluid, but it's also incredibly structured and simple enough in basic design (it's a cocktail length sheath, which is as quintessentially modern as it comes) to transition along with your accessories and decor if you really like it.


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## knottyknicky (May 9, 2010)

Thanks Tania  I saw the dresses at Kiyonna and wasn't crazy about them, but I totally forgot about Igigi. I actually love this dress, http://www.igigi.com/plus-size-wedding/eveline-pleated-wedding-gown.html as its modern and clean and still pretty and NOT strapless. It looks curvy and flowy too, and more bride-like than my current dress. Its a little on the pure white side but maybe I could get it dyed to a warmer tone? I'm thinking a spray tan might be necessary for this wedding. ugh. 

The Adrianna Pappell dress isn't darker (I don't think) and I do love how it fits. i think part of my issue is that because I ordered it so long ago (because it was on clearance and I didn't want to miss out) that it feels like something I wanted a year or so ago, but not so much now. I want the experience of wearing a 'wedding gown' and not just a cocktail dress. At least I'm struggling with it, anyways.


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## olwen (May 9, 2010)

Seems to me like the dress is better suited to the second location than the first one. It actually seems too dressy for the first one. It's a great dress too.


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## AshleyEileen (May 9, 2010)

I think this dress would be great for the second venue.


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## cinnamitch (May 9, 2010)

AshleyEileen said:


> I think this dress would be great for the second venue.



See that is what i was thinking. It would be awesome.


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## Sandie S-R (May 9, 2010)

Personally I love the Dean Martin with the whole 50/s 60/s vibe. The fact that the house is all white, would be a great incentive your you to wear some BOLD color - Hot pink, red, bright turquoise (looks good by the pool), I'm sure you get my idea. The color will so "pop" in pictures. I highly recommend checking into some of the custom people on Etsy - because you could go with a 50's/60's style dress, and have the men in a 50's style white dinner jackets. Would be incredibly awesome! Most of the custom people on Etsy will work with women any size, so ask first but alot of them are really cool with plus sizes. 

Here are some ideas: 

Something like this, only in color!

http://www.etsy.com/listing/46496203

another fabulous one by same designer:

http://www.etsy.com/listing/45727715

This one screams 1960's:

http://www.etsy.com/listing/46289296

Another fabulous retro look (strapless)

http://www.etsy.com/listing/39799172

Here is an awsome plus sized dress and model!:

http://www.etsy.com/listing/35718536

I love this dress and she states "all sizes":

http://www.etsy.com/listing/43450017

Anyway, i think you get my point. I just think a retro theme would be awesome. You could serve martini's in the old style martini glasses. 

If you need a stylist, just ask me!


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## Jes (May 9, 2010)

olwen said:


> Seems to me like the dress is better suited to the second location than the first one. It actually seems too dressy for the first one. It's a great dress too.



i was thinking the same. it's a very architectural dress and has a 60s silhouette.


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## knottyknicky (May 10, 2010)

AshleyEileen said:


> I think this dress would be great for the second venue.



I like the shape of the dress but I'm not crazy about the beading/lace  I also don't want to get too carried away with looking 'retro' or otherwise themed/costumed. I like the influence of retro design but I don't want to look back on my wedding day and think "oy vey, why'd I wear that?" 


I think the photos I posted of the first venue aren't really appropriate. The actual venue where the wedding would be held is similar in style, but as any hotel venue is (and should be) its basic enough that you can style it however you want. I've seen a few weddings there, ranging from casual to super formal (with the big white gown and all) and they all look appropriate. One wedding had pink peonies which I thought was kind of out of place, but whatever floats peoples boats, I suppose. Maybe I can dig some photos up.


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## knottyknicky (May 10, 2010)

Here's some photos of someone elses wedding, very much in the same vein that I had imagined. Maybe this will help. 

http://greenweddingshoes.com/urban-cool-in-the-desert-the-ace-hotel-in-palm-springs/



ETA: Aaaaand another. http://greenweddingshoes.com/real-wedding-sara-ryans-wedding-at-the-ace-hotel/


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## olwen (May 10, 2010)

Well then it seems like you have to style the first place, but that you are leaning more towards that place than the second place. I don't know which would be easier, styling the first place to match the dress or finding a new dress...I think if you styled it in a more minimal way it would match the dress.


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## violet835 (May 14, 2010)

The venue 2 is so dramatic. Your choice of dress is pretty simple and elegant.


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## Shala (May 14, 2010)

I just have to stop in and tell you that I got married in January in that exact dress!!! We were married in a log chapel in the Smoky Mountains.

I love the dress.....and the best part....I got it at T.J. Maxx for 39.99!


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## knottyknicky (May 16, 2010)

Shala said:


> I just have to stop in and tell you that I got married in January in that exact dress!!! We were married in a log chapel in the Smoky Mountains.
> 
> I love the dress.....and the best part....I got it at T.J. Maxx for 39.99!





Yay! I got the dress at Nordstroms and paid 75 but actually my best friend bought it for me so I got it for zero dollars  


Someone said the 2nd venue was dramatic...I think thats my issue, the venue is dramatic but my dress isn't!


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## MisticalMisty (May 16, 2010)

It seems that you aren't happy with the dress. Why not find another wedding dress that you love and wear this one that was a gift for the rehearsal or as you leave?


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## knottyknicky (May 16, 2010)

MisticalMisty said:


> It seems that you aren't happy with the dress. Why not find another wedding dress that you love and wear this one that was a gift for the rehearsal or as you leave?



Thats why I'm here, trying to find off-the-beaten-path ideas for places where I can buy another dress


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## BrunetteBeauty80 (May 19, 2010)

Here are pictures of my wedding dress. Mine wasn't conventional, but wasn't THAT far out of the realm of "weddingness" I got it from Zaftique. You do have to wait about a month for them to ship it, but for me, I didn't want a big poofy gown. I wanted something simple and beautiful and this one fit the bill. I did alter it myself, I took about four inches out of the top to shorten the length. They have quite a few styles and one of them might be what you are looking for. 

View attachment manda1.jpg


View attachment manda2.jpg


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## cherylharrell (May 20, 2010)

That looks good on ya. I remember when I got married in 86 the only place with a wedding gown big enough was Penny's. All they had was a size 22. And they had to take in some areas that were too big and let out others that were too snug. I was an 18 then and am a 24 now...


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## knottyknicky (Jun 28, 2010)

gobettiepurple said:


> *Try this girls blog, some very cute ideas, which you can easily fit your dress into:
> 
> http://modernvintagebride.blogspot.com/*



Its funny because the first post on that blog is the venue we ended up going with <3


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## knottyknicky (Oct 21, 2010)

So, just an update...


we ended up going with the 1st venue. I can't get over the earthy qualities of it, and its really much more practical for a wedding involving so many travelers, and in the end, it was cheaper than hiring a caterer seperately along with renting everything, acquiring a liability insurance policy, etc. I'm thrilled!

I also found a dress! Of all places, I found it at Davids Bridal. I'm fairly anti-davids-bridal and remember being really disappointed when a friend went there after getting engaged. I always wanted something either custom or vintage, but I found a really cute dress that fits my style, fits the vintage vibe (without being too over-themed) and definitely fit my budget. I ordered it and it only took like 2 weeks to come in! Even if they do mass produce everything (likely in a sweatshop somewhere) I'm happy with my gown and can't wait to wear it. I have to keep myself from sneaking into the closet to pet the thing. Its so simple and its swishy! Anyways, here's a few pictures, along with some of the materials I'm using to make the accessories with, just to get an idea. It looks much different on the mode than on me...plus i'm ditching the jacket and the white ribbon in exchange for a champagne colored crocheted mohair shawl (thanks mom!) and a similarily colored ribbon, plus a brooch that I already own. 

Here's the dress from the website: http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Strapless-Lace-Tea-Length-Cap-Sleeve-Gown-9T9948_Bridal-Gowns-Shop-By-Size-Plus-Sizes

Here it is in my room:





















There it is


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## Tad (Oct 21, 2010)

Thanks for the update--sounds like everything is coming together for you nicely  A place you like, a dress you like.....I'd guess you are breathing easier now?


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## knottyknicky (Oct 21, 2010)

Tad said:


> Thanks for the update--sounds like everything is coming together for you nicely  A place you like, a dress you like.....I'd guess you are breathing easier now?



ironically, no. i think i'm stressed :s


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## BrunetteBeauty80 (Oct 21, 2010)

I love it. It is gorgeous, and will look wonderful on you!


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## cherylharrell (Oct 24, 2010)

You'll have to post wedding pics.


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## thirtiesgirl (Oct 24, 2010)

For the record, the dress you have is gorgeous and I think it's perfect for the kind of kitschy '60s vibe of the desert hotel. Congratulations (again) and I hope you guys have a wonderful time.

My dream wedding would take place at the Madonna Inn in San Luis Obispo, a lovely, extremely kitschy place that's been around since 1958. Growing up on the California coast, when my family would make periodic drives up to San Francisco, we'd often stop at the Madonna Inn for lunch and I fell in love with its crazy, kitschy decor. Check out the Bridal Falls suite; the Buffalo Room; the Dot & Daisy room; the Pony Room; and their gorgeous Gold Rush Steakhouse. It's like Disneyland for adults (...sort of) and I love the idea of getting married in such a fun, colorful place.


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## knottyknicky (Oct 24, 2010)

There's something about the Madonna Inn that just creeps me the eff out. Eughghghghh. I'd like to visit it at one point, but I don't think I could actually spend the night there. I'd be up all night darting my eyes around the room. I'd LOVE to use some of their rooms as a photoshoot location though, oh em geeee! Especially the Merry room. Pink glitter walls. *dies*


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