# Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls So I Will



## Surlysomething (Aug 19, 2013)

Love this.


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## superodalisque (Aug 19, 2013)

this is awesome and true. everybody should read it. thank you oh surly one


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## spiritangel (Aug 19, 2013)

Thanks Surly love the Militant Baker she really posts some great stuff


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## Webmaster (Aug 19, 2013)

Great article. Must-read.


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## dblbellybhm (Aug 19, 2013)

Wonderful article. Thanks for the link. Applies to everyone.


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## Gingembre (Aug 20, 2013)

Brilliant article. I have bookmarked it for down days. Thank you so much for posting, T. Love you!


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## missyj1978 (Aug 20, 2013)

I love this!! I am bookmarking this as well as sending it to a few friends. Thanks for the share I needed it


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## Surlysomething (Aug 20, 2013)

I'm glad you're all loving it!


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## DKnight00 (Aug 20, 2013)

Nice find ! Very positive!


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## bmann0413 (Aug 21, 2013)

Huh. Maybe I should let my sister read this.


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## EMH1701 (Aug 22, 2013)

Thanks for posting this. Wish I had seen this 20 years ago, but the net was still in its infancy stage then.


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## Emma (Aug 23, 2013)

I actually hate that article. I've read it before. Its awful.


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## Gingembre (Aug 23, 2013)

Emma said:


> I actually hate that article. I've read it before. Its awful.



I can see that it might be seen as a bit trite, but why do you hate it? Just curious.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Aug 24, 2013)

> As if accepting one's body as is would be a sin, and that's just silly. Yes, exercising has wonderful physical and mental benefits, but you don't owe it to anyone else to make an effort to change your body unless you wanna. You do not have to alter yourself to be okay. Period.
> 
> And then realize that we've grown up learning and internalizing that we are not okay our entire life. For me, that's 26 years of self-hate indoctrination and brainwashing. It's going to take a lot longer than you think to reverse this thinking, and it's definitely not going to happen overnight. Allow yourself to have "weak" days. Cry, mourn, sob, yell, throw things. Whichever. Then get up, brush yourself off, give the media the finger, and move forward because you're a warrior.



My favorite parts- Amen Sister.


And I'm glad a woman wrote this


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## Iannathedriveress (Aug 24, 2013)

Its a good article


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## AuntHen (Aug 24, 2013)

Emma said:


> I actually hate that article. I've read it before. Its awful.





Gingembre said:


> I can see that it might be seen as a bit trite, but why do you hate it? Just curious.



I am curious too.


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## vardon_grip (Aug 25, 2013)

Emma said:


> I actually hate that article. I've read it before. Its awful.



I don't hate the article, but I do disagree with a couple of the points.

The one that stands out is: _Fat chicks bang hot guys... ALL. THE. TIME._
I think we need to keep sex out of the picture when talking about the positives of accepting one's self. Having sex with partner's that are "hot" do not give you personal validation. The author is using external perceptions of good and bad to bolster confidence. The author doesn't state that these "hot" guys are lining up with promises of love and commitment. Images of notches on the bedpost come to mind. I think this attitude is very "high school".

I don't think it is a secret that some people will have sex with anything that moves and not want anything to do with that person once the sweat dries. It doesn't say anything about the person they have sex with.

The company that you keep doesn't make you a better (or worse) person.


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## superodalisque (Aug 25, 2013)

vardon_grip said:


> I don't hate the article, but I do disagree with a couple of the points.
> 
> The one that stands out is: _Fat chicks bang hot guys... ALL. THE. TIME._
> I think we need to keep sex out of the picture when talking about the positives of accepting one's self. Having sex with partner's that are "hot" do not give you personal validation. The author is using external perceptions of good and bad to bolster confidence. The author doesn't state that these "hot" guys are lining up with promises of love and commitment. Images of notches on the bedpost come to mind. I think this attitude is very "high school".
> ...



great points. also a guy friend of mine who is fat like me brought out the point that there is an assumption there that he cannot be one of these hot guys. he said that if he had said the same thing a lot of us fat women would be mightily insulted. i think he is right about that.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Aug 25, 2013)

superodalisque said:


> great points. also a guy friend of mine who is fat like me brought out the point that there is an assumption there that he cannot be one of these hot guys. *he said that if he had said the same thing a lot of us fat women would be mightily insulted. i think he is right about that*.





This is true- it's the same attitude some have towards BBWs...just in the reverse. 

Letting simple physical aesthetics define "sexual worthiness" is asinine...and is what has been done to us through so many venues already. 
I understand what VG means about the high school attitude of it all- we are supposed to "transcend" in our maturity. 



But then again, I like to think that maybe she was just attempting to make a different point? As in, "not everyone thinks we're dogshit ugly" as in some of our society believing that only the "desperate and ugly" could stoop so low as to copulate with us. 

Another "boot on the neck" type of assumption, it seems to me. 

But I can waver again and say that beauty is subjective- as in beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 

There ARE men that would hold me as "hot" whilst others gaze upon me with disgust. 

It can easily be the same when I cast my eyes upon them. 

It's the same discussion about "hotness". What she is calling hot may be laughable to someone else. 

But yeah, it does seem to belay desperation on some level saying "See? I can get fucked by a hot guy neener neener"


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## Saoirse (Aug 25, 2013)

What constitutes a hot guy? Im banging the hottest man Ive ever seen, but I get asked all the time why I think hes sexy. Im like How do you bitches NOT see it??


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## superodalisque (Aug 25, 2013)

Saoirse said:


> What constitutes a hot guy? Im banging the hottest man Ive ever seen, but I get asked all the time why I think hes sexy. Im like How do you bitches NOT see it??



that's how i am. i don't fall into the usual expectations camp either. and i get asked why some guys that everyone seems to think are hot aren't interesting to me in the least. so i did not get the inference either at first. but i could understand it once he explained that he meant that he thought that she meant hot in the conventional sense. i guess convention hasn't necessarily been neither of our strong suits


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## AuntHen (Aug 26, 2013)

superodalisque said:


> that's how i am. i don't fall into the usual expectations camp either. and i get asked why some guys that everyone seems to think are hot aren't interesting to me in the least. so i did not get the inference either at first. but i could understand it once he explained that he meant that he thought that she meant *hot in the conventional sense*. i guess convention hasn't necessarily been neither of our strong suits




I have never found Brad Pitt or Tatum Channing "hot"


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## biggirlsrock (Aug 26, 2013)

I wish I wrote that!!!


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## superodalisque (Aug 26, 2013)

fat9276 said:


> I have never found Brad Pitt or Tatum Channing "hot"



me either. i think they are both pretty but i'm not attracted to them AT ALL. but it does seem to me that she was probably talking about arm candy types as far as societal expectations go.


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## MrSensible (Aug 27, 2013)

superodalisque said:


> great points. also a guy friend of mine who is fat like me brought out the point that there is an assumption there that he cannot be one of these hot guys. he said that if he had said the same thing a lot of us fat women would be mightily insulted. i think he is right about that.



I agree; that was my issue with the article as well. It's like, "Hey, we are all beautiful the way we are so don't let the world get you down -- oh, and guess what else!? We can actually bang "universally attractive" HOT guys! You know the guys I'm talking about...*wink*." 

I just can't help but think that's a little hypocritical on her part. As a fat guy in a similar position, I guess I take exception to that kind of thinking. Don't get me wrong, I know physical attraction is important to everyone, but it's all subjective in the end. By ascribing to some "universal standard of hotness" as some end-all be-all measure of success, it seems like you'd sort of "become what you hate" in a sense -- even more so if you're using it as a way to potentially value your own worth. (I was having a hard time putting that in words, so hopefully you get my point .)

Other than that, I thought it was a great article.


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## chunkeymonkey (Aug 27, 2013)

Saoirse said:


> What constitutes a hot guy? Im banging the hottest man Ive ever seen, but I get asked all the time why I think hes sexy. Im like How do you bitches NOT see it??



Love it!!!!! Hot is all in the way they feel comfortable in their own skin and own it


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## Jah (Aug 28, 2013)

I don't understand why the person who wrote the article decided to mention bbws getting with 'hot' guys. I'm a ffa so that bit was annoying. Other than that it was a good article.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Aug 29, 2013)

When people say "you're gorgeous", believe them. I tend not to, and it's a cryin' shame. When people genuinely compliment you, it's because they really see it. Try to not dismiss their perspective as wrong and assume that you know better. They see all of you. We see our flaws. Believe them.

Really like this one. If i say a woman is gorogeous i do really mean it always.


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## superodalisque (Aug 29, 2013)

chunkeymonkey said:


> Love it!!!!! Hot is all in the way they feel comfortable in their own skin and own it



same here. along with passion about life and a big generous heart toward other folks-- makes me melt. the least attractive people to me are followers.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Aug 29, 2013)

HeavyDuty24 said:


> When people say "you're gorgeous", believe them. I tend not to, and it's a cryin' shame. When people genuinely compliment you, it's because they really see it. Try to not dismiss their perspective as wrong and assume that you know better. They see all of you. We see our flaws. Believe them.



In the movie _Animal Crackers_, Chico Marx has a classic line: "Who you gonna believe? Me or your own eyes?" No matter what others say about 
our appearance, we're more likely to believe what we see in the mirror. And what we see there is largely what we have been conditioned to see. You're taking on a big job in contradicting this conditioning, but I'm glad you're doing it. :bow:


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## HeavyDuty24 (Aug 29, 2013)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> In the movie _Animal Crackers_, Chico Marx has a classic line: "Who you gonna believe? Me or your own eyes?" No matter what others say about
> our appearance, we're more likely to believe what we see in the mirror. And what we see there is largely what we have been conditioned to see. You're taking on a big job in contradicting this conditioning, but I'm glad you're doing it. :bow:




Love The Marx Brothers! im actually a fan of old films too. I will have to watch that one. :bow:


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## BendOfTheWing (Sep 7, 2013)

"You're allowed to fall in love with yourself. I promise. This will be the scariest thing you will ever do, and that's okay."

My fave part because it IS scary, but so liberating!


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## HeavyDuty24 (Sep 8, 2013)

BendOfTheWing said:


> "You're allowed to fall in love with yourself. I promise. This will be the scariest thing you will ever do, and that's okay."
> 
> My fave part because it IS scary, but so liberating!



And there will always be someone who loves you just for who you are too. Also true. There will allways be someone out there who takes us as is as we are.


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## scoozy (Sep 16, 2013)

great read thanks  i spent like an hour just looking at her blog


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