# Shot down... And for a terrible reason.



## Con (Jul 16, 2010)

I'm not really sure where to put this, so anyone with a better idea please point out where it should have gone... Anyway, I've talked to this fantastic red haired godess of a BBW several times, a beautiful woman and she always seemed so sweet and pleasant to talk to, I got a real thing for her ha ha ha. But here's the bad bit, she works in an electrical goods store I go to and I decided I'd summon my courage and ask her on a date, but when I did she got angry and upset because she assumed I didn't mean it and was just trying to mock her or wind her up! I felt so bad for her, and for myself. What the hell do I do? I don't want her thinking i'm an asshole, because I genuinely do have a serious crush on this woman, and also because i'd hate for her to feel like someone was just tryin to upset her or have a laugh at her expense. I'm sure most of us have been there at some point even just as a kid when someone wants to make fun of the fat guy/girl. It's sad to think this woman wouldn't believe I genuinely was attracted to her


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## Cors (Jul 16, 2010)

It has happened to me several times as well. If your approach is not too bold or creepy and you have told her that you are sincere but she refuses to believe you, there is not much you can do. You _might_ be able to convince her if you keep trying, but if her insecurities are that deep then from my experience that usually doesn't work out too well whether she goes out with you or not.


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## truebebeblue (Jul 16, 2010)

Con said:


> I'm not really sure where to put this, so anyone with a better idea please point out where it should have gone... Anyway, I've talked to this fantastic red haired godess of a BBW several times, a beautiful woman and she always seemed so sweet and pleasant to talk to, I got a real thing for her ha ha ha. But here's the bad bit, she works in an electrical goods store I go to and I decided I'd summon my courage and ask her on a date, but when I did she got angry and upset because she assumed I didn't mean it and was just trying to mock her or wind her up! I felt so bad for her, and for myself. What the hell do I do? I don't want her thinking i'm an asshole, because I genuinely do have a serious crush on this woman, and also because i'd hate for her to feel like someone was just tryin to upset her or have a laugh at her expense. I'm sure most of us have been there at some point even just as a kid when someone wants to make fun of the fat guy/girl. It's sad to think this woman wouldn't believe I genuinely was attracted to her



That sucks!
I am sorry that her self esteem is so bad she doesn't think someone could be attracted to and want to date her.
How did you approach her? Was it in front of other customers or co-workers? Were you alone? I wonder if there was another reason why she would think it was a joke? I want to tell you to approach her again but I do not want to make things worse? Maybe just next time you are there,apologize for upsetting her sort of like... " I am really sorry I upset you last time I saw you,I just have wanted to ask you out for a while and felt like that was the right time.. Are you married or dating someone?"
If she seems to take that okay and says she is single... say "well the offer still stands" and hand her your number(already written down or a card if you have one) If she still seems mad just say "really sorry" and leave it at that. Make sure you are as close to alone or out of earshot of others as possible... don't bring a buddy along for support etc.
Sorry that happened to you! Hope she says yes next time!

I am guilty of doing this ONCE....this gorgeous man started talking to me at a club and I was in a realllly bad headspace.. I said "which of your friends dared you to chat me up?" he said "wow I am really sorry you think that way" and walked off.

True


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## Con (Jul 16, 2010)

Wow that was a quick reply! So sad to think that she could have got to that stage where she just point blank couldn't think anyone was interested. Such an unfair world. The last thing I wanted to do was upset her. Nope I don't think my approach was too bold, it took me nearly the whole day tryin to work myself up to actually go in there and ask her. Definately wasn't creepy either, and i'm a polite, well spoken guy and generally do quite well socially as I enjoy conversation and meeting people, so I was fairly confident that I presented myself reasonably well, a little nervous perhaps seeing as If I do really like a woman then I can get quite apprehensive about asking her out due to having put up with a whole lot of rejection myself, but I get over it. Strangely I've had more success with smaller women than with BBWs (who are the ones who really do it for me not the little chicks, I mean I like all women but I REALLY like BBWs) probably because i'm less worried about if I'll be shot down, but anyway, that's beside the point. I do think I did my best with this woman and didn't seem weird or pushy or anything, and I've spoken to her several times before and we had good conversations and seemed to get on well yet she obviously though my request was insincere. I'll go back and try to explain and apologise to her for any upset as I genuinely didn't mean any, but I really hope she believes me.


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 16, 2010)

Obviously none of us know the exact situation, but when you say you were "talking" to her, does that mean online? Was it on a fat positive dating site? Or do you mean talking to her at her job or school?

I'm not saying you did anything wrong, but i'm also not sure asking somebody out when she's at work is really a good idea. What if she got in trouble with her boss because he thought she was socializing at work or that she encouraged a friend to come by and chat during her workday?

I agree with True though, i think you should call or write a note apologizing for upsetting her and let her know your offer was serious and you want to go out with her. Even if she is just insecure, maybe asking twice or re-affirming your FA'ness and attraction to her will let her overcome it. I really hate the idea that just because somebody has some insecurities or emotional issues they should just be written off.


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 16, 2010)

> Strangely I've had more success with smaller women than with BBWs (who are the ones who really do it for me not the little chicks, I mean I like all women but I REALLY like BBWs) probably because i'm less worried about if I'll be shot down, but anyway, that's beside the point.



I'm sure you're a nice person, but please reread this comment. If you're "not worried about being shot down" because you're not interested in smaller women, please don't ask them out. Not because you should be worried about being rejected, but if what goes through your mind is "well it's not a big deal if you say no because ultimately i'm not super hot for you" then it's really mean to ask her out in the first place. What if a girl really likes you? Would you want her to know when you approched her that you wouldn't really have cared if she said no?

Why are you even going after smaller women if they "don't really do it for you"?


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## Con (Jul 16, 2010)

truebebeblue said:


> That sucks!
> I am sorry that her self esteem is so bad she doesn't think someone could be attracted to and want to date her.
> How did you approach her? Was it in front of other customers or co-workers? Were you alone? I wonder if there was another reason why she would think it was a joke? I want to tell you to approach her again but I do not want to make things worse? Maybe just next time you are there,apologize for upsetting her sort of like... " I am really sorry I upset you last time I saw you,I just have wanted to ask you out for a while and felt like that was the right time.. Are you married or dating someone?"
> If she seems to take that okay and says she is single... say "well the offer still stands" and hand her your number(already written down or a card if you have one) If she still seems mad just say "really sorry" and leave it at that. Make sure you are as close to alone or out of earshot of others as possible... don't bring a buddy along for support etc.
> ...



Sadly I did the things which you suggested, as in I was on my own, and I didn't do it when there was other staff there because I knew that'd be embarrassing for her, I only took my chance because there was only one other member of staff there and he was way down at the back of the store going into the stock room and 3 customers busy looking at computers and it's a big store so we had as much privacy as we could have had. Yeah I'll go back but I don't think I can get my hopes up. I know she's single because she said it when we talked before. If it turns out she's not into me that's ok too, (i'm no chiseled statue ha ha, but I guess I have some good points as i'm sometimes successful) but i'd hate to have wasted a chance to go out with her just because she took me up wrong


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## truebebeblue (Jul 16, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> I'm sure you're a nice person, but please reread this comment. If you're "not worried about being shot down" because you're not interested in smaller women, please don't ask them out. Not because you should be worried about being rejected, but if what goes through your mind is "well it's not a big deal if you say no because ultimately i'm not super hot for you" then it's really mean to ask her out in the first place. What if a girl really likes you? Would you want her to know when you approched her that you wouldn't really have cared if she said no?
> 
> Why are you even going after smaller women if they "don't really do it for you"?




I agree, this is the same sentiment i have heard about asking out "fat chicks" because who cares if they turn you down! 

To the Op just try again... if she has the same reaction you did your best...
and someone that insecure may be a VERY difficult person to be in a relationship with. Dating a person who doubts your attraction constantly can be really horrible.

Good Luck

True


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## Con (Jul 16, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> I'm sure you're a nice person, but please reread this comment. If you're "not worried about being shot down" because you're not interested in smaller women, please don't ask them out. Not because you should be worried about being rejected, but if what goes through your mind is "well it's not a big deal if you say no because ultimately i'm not super hot for you" then it's really mean to ask her out in the first place. What if a girl really likes you? Would you want her to know when you approched her that you wouldn't really have cared if she said no?
> 
> Why are you even going after smaller women if they "don't really do it for you"?



Sometimes It's hard to say things without it coming across wrong.... Damn it, let's see... I'll try to make some sort of explanation. It seems to have sounded bad to you but what I meant was that lots of women "do it for me", I'm an admirer of many female shapes, forms and attributes in general, but I often find BBWs even more attractive than other women, I guess i'm a lover of women but large woman in particular. But for example I particularly like redheads and very dark black hair, but if I meet a blonde who I also find attractive and I get talking to her and i'm enjoying talking to her etc, and it's going well then that's good too. I hope that sounds better somehow, sometimes I don't like writing things down on forums etc because I think it'd be easier for you to see what I intended who i'm saying things if you met me and were talking to me in person, I think i'm better at conversation in person, though I guess most people are, it's easier to see the tone things are said in I guess. I still don't quite know how to explain what I meant, but it wasn't meant in the way it came across to you, and i'm sorry for that. I can be highly attracted to a personality rather than an exterior look sometimes, my last girlfriend won me over on the phone as I had to call her company a lot for work and we kind of hit it off I suppose, i'd never been there in person but then one day I was and I asked her out and we were together several months but after a while we ended up deciding that it wasn't going right and we parted amicably, she was not a BBW but my girlfriend before her was. It might seems strange for me to say I like many types of women, but I do, however, i'm on this site for a reason which is that I guess my desires are beginning to lean exclusively towards BBWs, whereas before I hadn't got such a clear preference. I would never use or abuse any woman, and the few I have been wit, I appreciate them all and enjoyed my time with them.


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## Con (Jul 16, 2010)

truebebeblue said:


> I agree, this is the same sentiment i have heard about asking out "fat chicks" because who cares if they turn you down!
> 
> To the Op just try again... if she has the same reaction you did your best...
> and someone that insecure may be a VERY difficult person to be in a relationship with. Dating a person who doubts your attraction constantly can be really horrible.
> ...



Thank you for your advice True  it's appreciated, I'll give it a shot. I just needed to express how it had affected me that this poor woman had reacted badly and thought I was having fun at her expense because I really didn't mean to make her think that, it'd be awful for someone to do that, and believe me, my own confidence is well shaken again. At this stage I'd be delighted if she said yes, but i'd still be happy enough if she turned me down but just believed me that I was being sincere, that'd be ok. If I can't convince her that I'm not an asshole who'd do somethin like that then I don't think I could go back in there ever because i'd know she thought I was this mean guy who upset her for fun. And as for the mentality of asking out someone because you don't care, I promise you all I am not a person like that and I don't do that with anyone whether they be fat, thin or in between.


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## truebebeblue (Jul 16, 2010)

Con said:


> Thank you for your advice True  it's appreciated, I'll give it a shot. I just needed to express how it had affected me that this poor woman had reacted badly and thought I was having fun at her expense because I really didn't mean to make her think that, it'd be awful for someone to do that, and believe me, my own confidence is well shaken again. At this stage I'd be delighted if she said yes, but i'd still be happy enough if she turned me down but just believed me that I was being sincere, that'd be ok. If I can't convince her that I'm not an asshole who'd do somethin like that then I don't think I could go back in there ever because i'd know she thought I was this mean guy who upset her for fun. And as for the mentality of asking out someone because you don't care, I promise you all I am not a person like that and I don't do that with anyone whether they be fat, thin or in between.



I get what you meant,the more attractive a woman is to you the more nervous you get talking to or asking her out. I don't think that is uncommon. Sometimes things don't come out as you intended,Don't sweat it. I hope she says yes.


True


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## willowmoon (Jul 16, 2010)

Also just make sure you handle it tactfully, don't go with the "i love really big women" bit, just let her know that you feel that the two of you get along pretty well and would like to hang out one of these times outside of her work. Maybe the two of you have some common interests that might make her feel at ease with you as far as a place to go, that sort of thing. Good luck !!


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## Tad (Jul 16, 2010)

1) What trubebeblue said--excellent advice I think.

2) Make sure to give her your email as well as your number. If she's not feeling bold enough to call, maybe she'll at least write? And maybe the one additional thing to say, or put into a note, is: If you don't trust me enough for a date yet, how about talking or writing for a while, so you'll see I'm sincere? (or words to that effect.) Show that you are willing to put in the time to let her get to know you and build some trust.


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## mercy (Jul 16, 2010)

Have you tried just leaving a note or something to explain you weren't being a dick? Don't get stalkerish or anything, but maybe leave a note in her place of work with your number on it and explain you were genuine and you're sorry for any offence caused. 

I wouldn't push it too much, because otherwise it's going to come off as creepy, but if you can explain better in words than face-to-face then it's worth a try.


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## Con (Jul 16, 2010)

willowmoon said:


> Also just make sure you handle it tactfully, don't go with the "i love really big women" bit,



ha ha thanks don't worry i won't say that


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## Con (Jul 16, 2010)

mercy said:


> Have you tried just leaving a note or something to explain you weren't being a dick? Don't get stalkerish or anything, but maybe leave a note in her place of work with your number on it and explain you were genuine and you're sorry for any offence caused.
> 
> I wouldn't push it too much, because otherwise it's going to come off as creepy, but if you can explain better in words than face-to-face then it's worth a try.



Sometimes i'm better in person than in writing, so i think i'll go in once, and try to apologise for the upset, and try tell her i was serious, and i'll leave it at that, if it doesnt go well then i won't persue it any further, to save us both any more undue trauma.


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## Con (Jul 16, 2010)

Tad said:


> 1) What trubebeblue said--excellent advice I think.
> 
> 2) Make sure to give her your email as well as your number. If she's not feeling bold enough to call, maybe she'll at least write? And maybe the one additional thing to say, or put into a note, is: If you don't trust me enough for a date yet, how about talking or writing for a while, so you'll see I'm sincere? (or words to that effect.) Show that you are willing to put in the time to let her get to know you and build some trust.



thanks, you know i may try just sayin that to her, not sure about leaving a note, but i may decided to do that in the end. Nice to se eso many helpful comments and suggestions


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## brimpy (Jul 16, 2010)

Update this thread if you meet up and things go well.

I had a similar experience last year. I gave up, it seemed like she had some issues or a chip on her shoulder that would've prevented us from getting along. I can understand where she was coming from, but anyways.


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## thirtiesgirl (Jul 21, 2010)

I'm sorry the woman wasn't receptive to you, but my recommendation would be to leave her alone. First off, why would you want to date someone who appears to have very low self-esteem? If you've ever done it before, you'll realize that it's not healthy behavior to build a relationship on. Secondly, regardless of a woman's self-esteem, if she doesn't respond to your initial advance, don't advance again. Respect her wish to be left alone. Her anger may be a cover for other things she doesn't want to talk about with you. Maybe she was sexually assaulted in the past and doesn't respond well to men she doesn't know approaching her to ask her out. You never know. It isn't always about _you_ if a woman doesn't respond. Take your lumps, move on and find another woman to approach.


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## Fox (Sep 11, 2010)

If a anyone did that to me, I would be soooo offended. I would NOT talk to her again.


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## CastingPearls (Sep 11, 2010)

This happened to me and it had nothing to do with low self-esteem. 

He was a coworker and I was completely clueless that he liked me. My dad worked there too and they worked together at times and so it was natural to talk with him and I never realized he was sweet on me until he called me in the middle of the night and pretended the alarm was set off wrong and he would be coming in a few minutes late and could I go out with him.

My initial reaction was one of surprise and I sincerely thought he was joking (because he was naturally a very funny guy) and I laughed. Granted, had it been in person I'm sure I could have read his body language. So we hung up and I sat there thinking about it and it dawned on me belatedly that all those times he was talking to me he was indeed checking me out.

The following afternoon when he came into the office I slipped him a note saying how silly I was and that I was interested if he was. He was stung however and said he didn't know what I was talking about. I was crushed and let it go but then he started to serenade me with cowboy songs outside the window of my office. This went on for months with nothing coming of it even though he had plenty of opportunities and I gave him enough signals but he wouldn't try again. Because he rejected my apologetic note, I was too proud to try again. I guess, in retrospect, we both were.

One day he was injured on the job and I had to fill out the accident report. He sat there alone with me in the office (everyone knew what was going on and left us alone in the hopes we would get together) and at one point turned to me and said, 'You hate me, don't you?' I was appalled that he would think that and that I even gave that impression and told him absolutely not and that I really did like him. Still he did nothing. So, I let it go and moved on.

Interesting enough he found me on Facebook and I know he visits my profile but he still never says anything and that ship sailed a long long time ago.

If you really like her, please be honest and tell her you really really like her. Don't let an opportunity like that pass you by, as we did.


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## Con (Sep 14, 2010)

Well i'm back, and have an update... I did actually make one last attempt to prove I was serious and not being mean/making fun of her, and in a way it went well, in another way it didn't. She doesn't think I'm mean anymore, and we had some coffee after she finished work, and she was happy that I was genuinely attracted to her, but it's not going to go anywhere  it's alright though as I said i'd be ok even if she just didn't think I was makin fun of her, which she now doesn't. We had a good talk, and I won't really go into it because it was kind of private and personal but the issue is now resolved anyway. It's a shame because I was and still am quite taken with her, but time to move on


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## liz (di-va) (Sep 14, 2010)

Good for you, I'd say...you did what you could, you had a talk as friends, it sounds like. I'm sorry it didn't work out, but good for you.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Sep 14, 2010)

Agree with Liz - good job resolving it at least.

I don't know how much of it is a self-esteem thing, and how much is an experience thing. 

When I was in high school, that was the favorite joke of the assholes who teased me and berated me for being fat. "Hahaha, Ginny, this guy has a crush on you! Hahaha! He loooooves you!" "Hey Ginny, will you go out with me! Those legs are SLAMMIN! Hahahahahaha."

They used it as a joke and to make me feel bad on a daily basis. Is it any wonder most fat women won't believe a guy when he says he's attracted to her? I really wish teenage guys wouldn't pull this shit. It affects more than just school life.


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## Con (Sep 14, 2010)

liz (di-va) said:


> Good for you, I'd say...you did what you could, you had a talk as friends, it sounds like. I'm sorry it didn't work out, but good for you.



Yeah it's ok i guess, the main thing was that i didnt want her to think i was a bad person who'd do something mean like that, and she doesnt, and seems happy enough with it. However it hasnt been great for my confidence in finding someone to share life with though, gets lonely sometimes, and stuff like this is ahrd because i feel like i've missed out. Not the most macho manly thing to say, but i figure people seem to be pretty honest here, so thats what im doing


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## nykspree8 (Sep 17, 2010)

I was at work one night and this ssbbw was walking around with friends and a bunch of my co-workers were just standing around oogling at her in a "wow she's big" kind of way, which I'm sure she took notice of. I went up to her outside and tried to strike up a conversation and she was totally not having it, was just like "THAT'S NICE" and stalked off. I definitely think she got the impression I was being dared to talk to her or see if I could procure her phone number lol, sucks for me I guess. 

Anyways, hmmm, idk man...write her a note, or just go in there and be like, "i didn't want to give you the wrong impression", or maybe she's just bipolar and having a bad day? Who knows. If you really like her don't just give up, try until you know for certain there's no chance because it doesn't seem like she gave you a fair outing the first go around.


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## CastingPearls (Sep 17, 2010)

To be perfectly honest if a man was part of a group that was obviously ogling me in a negative way and he approached me, I would not trust him at all.


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## nykspree8 (Sep 17, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> To be perfectly honest if a man was part of a group that was obviously ogling me in a negative way and he approached me, I would not trust him at all.



I wasn't part of that group...i just happened to be in the near vicinity and happened to dress like them since, gasp, we work in the same place.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Sep 18, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> To be perfectly honest if a man was part of a group that was obviously ogling me in a negative way and he approached me, I would not trust him at all.



^^ This. I wouldn't either. And she doesn't have time to stand there and ponder your group dynamics and if you're a part of them just because you're standing there. If you're hanging out with/around/near assholes, no way would you seem trustworthy.


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## liz (di-va) (Sep 18, 2010)

nykspree8 said:


> I was at work one night and this ssbbw was walking around with friends and a bunch of my co-workers were just standing around oogling at her in a "wow she's big" kind of way, which I'm sure she took notice of. I went up to her outside and tried to strike up a conversation and she was totally not having it, was just like "THAT'S NICE" and stalked off. I definitely think she got the impression I was being dared to talk to her or see if I could procure her phone number lol, sucks for me I guess.


Yah, why wouldn't she? That's just general self-protection there, not defensiveness. Sucks for everybody.


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## nykspree8 (Sep 18, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> If you're hanging out with/around/near assholes, no way would you seem trustworthy.



There's always at least one good guy in a group of assholes!


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## CastingPearls (Sep 18, 2010)

nykspree8 said:


> There's always at least one good guy in a group of assholes!


NO...take a lifelong BBW's word for it. There isn't ALWAYS.

And if he were a nice guy then I would question his choice in friends and probably dismiss him anyway. And yeah, that may be harsh but it is self-protection and there are too many fish in the sea to compromise my instincts on one individual.


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## nykspree8 (Sep 18, 2010)

Damn, guess I won't bring any girls around my asshole friends until I've proposed and she's said yes that way she won't dump me because of who my friends are....really? Well, those were co-workers anyways, and I can't really do anything about them, they are just kind of there...can't fire them for being assholes and hire non-assholes, think that would probably end up getting me fired


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## thirtiesgirl (Sep 18, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> To be perfectly honest if a man was part of a group that was obviously ogling me in a negative way and he approached me, I would not trust him at all.



Exactly. 

Nykspree, as I wrote to the OP, when you approach a woman you don't know in a public place, if she isn't interested in you, walks away or cuts you off before you even have time to say hello, drop your line or make your move, _it isn't necessarily about you_. You don't know what her past history is like. Perhaps she's recuperating from a sexual assault and really not into having _any_ guy she doesn't know approach her. Perhaps she doesn't like being approached by guys in the place where she was hanging out (for example, she's fine with having a guy approach her in the bookstore to ask what she's reading, but she really doesn't like guys hitting on her in bars or clubs). You also may have misinterpreted her body language and the location for your approach. For example, if she's standing alone, outside, in a dark area, she's most likely not going to want a guy she doesn't know to approach her. Especially if she's standing with her arms crossed, not looking your way. That probably means she wants to be left alone. If she's inside, talking and laughing with a group of friends, she may be more inclined to speak to you if you approach. ...But then again, maybe not. You don't know what's on her mind, so you can't make it about you if she rejects your advances. Respect her right to privacy, don't get pissed off like an asshole, and leave her alone.


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## vardon_grip (Sep 18, 2010)

We had a big discussion a little while ago on grouping FA's together and judging them as "all good" or "all bad". According to a poll, it seemed that most people agreed that we should not group people together but judge them on their individual merits. That seems quite practical in theory.

How come it's okay to judge this guy based on the people he works with or how close he was standing to people who ogle fat people or judge him on things he didn't say or do? If we are to be judged based on assholes we work with, anyone who is employed will be guilty of something. 

So much for theory...


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## Dmitra (Sep 18, 2010)

Sometimes when people are upset they're not interested in dealing with anything until they cool down, even if someone is being nice to them. Whether she associated you with the group of buttheads or not I can't say but you definitely got bit by displaced anger. It's like when a person is holding their parrot and another person comes near whom the parrot really wants to bite. The parrot can't reach the other person so what do they do? Take a chomp out of the person holding them. 

I will say it's important to remember that what we think we know from observation may be wrong, too. I mean, sure, if I was in your place and seeing that ssbbw with her friends and that group of guys, I'd most likely assume the same motivations and interactions. Maybe most of the time these assumptions would be true for all involved; however, maybe her feet were hurting her and/or she was pissed at her group of friends if they were walking too fast for her and/or she hadn't noticed the group of assholes and/or she was PMSing or etc., so forth. Someone was going to get bit and unfortunately it was you. 



nykspree8 said:


> Damn, guess I won't bring any girls around my asshole friends until I've proposed and she's said yes that way she won't dump me because of who my friends are....really? Well, those were co-workers anyways, and I can't really do anything about them, they are just kind of there...can't fire them for being assholes and hire non-assholes, think that would probably end up getting me fired


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## Dromond (Sep 18, 2010)

nykspree8 said:


> I wasn't part of that group...i just happened to be in the near vicinity and happened to dress like them since, gasp, we work in the same place.



She'd just been humiliated in public, still burning from it, you were nearby and didn't defend her, and then you hit on her when nobody could see you do it. You're lucky the only thing she gave you was an abrupt brush off. Your timing really really sucks.


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## CastingPearls (Sep 18, 2010)

Dromond said:


> She'd just been humiliated in public, still burning from it, you were nearby and didn't defend her, and then you hit on her when nobody could see you do it. You're lucky the only thing she gave you was an abrupt brush off. Your timing really really sucks.


Thank you.


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## nykspree8 (Sep 19, 2010)

thirtiesgirl said:


> Respect her right to privacy, don't get pissed off like an asshole, and leave her alone.



Oh I wasn't mad, I kept it moving lol.



Dromond said:


> She'd just been humiliated in public, still burning from it, you were nearby and didn't defend her, and then you hit on her when nobody could see you do it. You're lucky the only thing she gave you was an abrupt brush off. Your timing really really sucks.



Wait, should she have been mad at me or her group of friends for not coming to her defense? *scratches head* And on the humiliation note...maybe she was, maybe she wasn't? Maybe her reason for the immediate rejection was any of the other reasons previous posters have stated *shrug*, who really knows? I didn't even plan on saying anything at all, I just happened to be working in the area when she came out of an aisle with her friends and wrapped around into the next aisle over...and thought, "ooo she's cute". I was outside on a smoke break and they all walked outside, figured it was a sign, so i went up to her but it didn't exactly work out as planned. No biggie, life goes on.


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## MaryElizabethAntoinette (Oct 7, 2010)

Awww, I was hoping for a fairy tale happy ending with this story.


As for *nykspree8*'s story... I gotta agree pretty much word for word with Dromond, when it comes to bad timing.

I don't think you (nykspree8) meant any kind of insincerity, but I can see where it could be construed that way. You just didn't think about the situation thoroughly. But then again, you were busy looking at a gorgeous girl, so I'm sure your mind wasn't totally on the social and moral intricacy's of the situation.


Since you obviously heard the things that your co-workers were saying about her... going up to her immediately afterwards to hit on her, wasn't exactly well thought out. 
I mean, I think you should have said something to your co-workers... even something as simple as, "Shut up, guys."
But even if you like... for some reason... forgot how to speak English while your co-workers were being tools, and you still wanted to go up and talk to her. You should have approached her and the first thing you said should have been an apology on your co-workers behalf.

But that's in a perfect world. 
Things don't often turn out perfectly, lamely enough.


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## blazon (Oct 7, 2010)

Con said:


> Strangely I've had more success with smaller women than with BBWs (who are the ones who really do it for me not the little chicks, I mean I like all women but I REALLY like BBWs.



WOW!!!! I've said the same thing many times.... I used to think somehow it was just me. I really appreciate reading this!


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