# When did you first realize that FA exist?



## Tad (Jan 13, 2017)

If you are an FA, when did you first realize that you arent alone in this. If you are not an FA, when did you learn about them?

And I guess maybe that could be in two parts, as in when did you hear something about them or get some inkling, and when did you come to sort of accept them as part of life (that you could, at least in theory, interact with). For some people those might be really close together, for others they might be far apart.


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## ScreamingChicken (Jan 13, 2017)

It had to be 1992-93. I was 18 and in my first serious relationship with a young lady who happen to be a SSBBW. I began to notice other BBWs who were in loving relationships with attentive guys who were clearly in to them. Taking it all in, it sort of clicked in my head that I was clearly not alone.


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## loopytheone (Jan 13, 2017)

Interesting question! I think for me it was about the time we got a home computer and I was allowed to use the internet unsupervised for small periods. I was about 12, I believe? I did some very nervous and tentative searches for things like "fat" and "weight gain". 

The first place that comes to mind when I think of my early days discovering FAs is deviantART. I loved art and it was a safe website that nobody in the family minded me using, and wouldn't be suspicious of, but when I searched for fat and weight gain, all sorts of things showed up. Including fan art of thin characters as fat, and comments from people defending their enjoyment of fat characters/pictures from people who thought it was wrong. 

I actually made a separate account simply for viewing fat art, because I was so afraid of my friends on my 'loopytheone' account realising that I -gasp- liked fat people. That second account was based on my other secondary username (smile) and my desire to run away from any connect to my usual username... so that is why I am smile-flight on deviantART! I eventually started sharing some of my crappy, terrified drawings of characters with a tiny amount of chub and now I have over 500 watchers for my fat art.


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## ScreamingChicken (Jan 13, 2017)

I also need to say that I was living in Tennessee at the time. Opinions in the American South tend to be very friendly (for the most part) towards fat people.


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## Dromond (Jan 13, 2017)

I've known I wasn't alone in my love of large ladies for a very long time, but it wasn't until I found Dimensions that I learned there was a term for it.


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## ScreamingChicken (Jan 13, 2017)

Dromond said:


> I've known I wasn't alone in my love of large ladies for a very long time, but it wasn't until I found Dimensions that I learned there was a term for it.



Me too. I never heard the "fat admirer" until I found Dims in the late 90's.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Jan 13, 2017)

I was 5 when i realized and started fantasizing, but I didn't realize I wasn't alone until i was in my teens. I dog eared every page with a fat character, or synonyms for fat in the dictionary until then! Then I searched for "fat guy" "eating" "weight gain" and the rest is history!

I think my confidence in my preference grew along with my general emotional maturity, and I was proud to be an FA openly around 20, but still struggling with the common afflications (i love fat but it hurts etc). Writing helped me express a lot of it. (Paying it forward i hope).

I feel pretty comfortable in it and myself now - the good and the bad.


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## Tad (Jan 13, 2017)

I had some inkling in grade school, as we moved between grades 2 and 3, and the nearest boy my age had super-sized parents, and we played together enough for me to realize that nothing in their lifestyle suggested that they were trying to change that status (for example, they had the stereotypical 1970s bar in their basement -- except that it was mostly stocked with soft drinks and multiple brands of bought cookies, they drove everywhere, there was no signs of dieting in the house, etc). I was already intrigued enough by fat to notice how different this was, how it didn't didn't fit the cultural expectation. So I sort of figured that one or both of them must be happy with the whole situation. And after that I'd occasionally notice other fat people or even couples who seemed pretty happy, and I kind of felt that there must be other people who liked fat.

But for years after, despite looking up every fat related keyword in the city and school libraries, I couldn't find anything suggesting that anyone did.

Then, during my university years, I noticed a store that was the equivalent of a comic book store but for porn magazines. I'd never found such things remotely appealing and wondered what was wrong with me, so I went in there to see if I could find anything that got a reaction out of me, and I found a couple of back-issues of "BUF" magazine that was fat porn. I learned that yes I did have some attraction to porn pictures, with the right models. There were also columns and weight gain stories where I learned the term FA, BBW, and I think feeder and feedee (not positive about those last two anymore). So at that point I knew of FA as a sexual attraction thing.

Maybe five years after that BBW magazine (a women's magazine aimed at the plus sized market) started its print run, and I think it may have talked about FA, if not by that term then by general concept. I think it was only then that the concept began to normalized to me, as something that you could have more openly and generally rather than as a purely sexual thing to hide away.


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## landshark (Jan 13, 2017)

For me there was never really an "ah-ha moment" so much as a slow realization that it wasn't so abnormal to be an FA. I've shared here that my first childhood girlfriend was a fat girl who sat on my lap once in class while we were being silly. It had...uh...shall we say "effects" on my impressionable little 12 year old boy parts. As much as I was embarrassed that the other kids saw me with the fat girl in my lap, I enjoyed the sensation and when I admitted as much to her a short time later we morphed from being friends to being BF/GF to the extent a 12 year old and 13 year old can be BF/GF. 

After she moved away I regressed as an FA. I always liked fat girls but was embarrassed about it and suppressed it well into my 20s. During this time I dated a woman who was nasty, toxic and selfish, not to mention vain and conceited and even abusive to me. She used to tell me that it's worth it to me to "put up with her shit" because I was the kind of guy who'd end up with a fat wife if it wasn't for her. During that time I was scared out of my mind she was right: the thought of being married to a fat woman really bothered me. At the same time part of me loved the idea. After she dumped me was when I decided to come out.

Even though I dated fat women and then married one, I was not familiar with the term FA until my late 20s. The idea that there was a whole community of FAs and body positive supporters didn't dawn on me until my early 30s. When it occurred to me such a place existed I did a search and that's how I found Dims.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Jan 13, 2017)

ScreamingChicken said:


> I also need to say that I was living in Tennessee at the time. Opinions in the American South tend to be very friendly (for the most part) towards fat people.



This applies in Oklahoma, too. My parents were both fatphobic, but -- being a teenager -- I just figured they were clueless. I have always found women of all sizes attractive, and I assumed everyone else -- except my parents -- did, too. The first time I realized there were men who _classified_ themselves according to their preference for large women was when I picked up my first copy of _Dimensions_ back in the days when it was a printed magazine. I discovered what 'FA' meant (and later I found out about FFA's, too), and the world became a richer place.


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## fuelingfire (Jan 13, 2017)

I was about 5 when I realized I was attracted to fat women. I have reposted the story about it at least 5 times. The short version was I was a honest 5 year old, who after learning what the word fat was called my favorite caretaker that she was fat. Noticing her reaction, I realized that fat people are not bad and that I really like them. Because I was so young, I dont remember what I said or what was said to me, that taught me not to tell anyone about it and hide it. I really wish I knew what those interactions were, though they would probably be really sad.

Most people do not have memories before the age of 5. So really my whole live I have known of my attraction to fat women. I spent so many years thinking it was wrong or unnatural. I tried to spend so much time convincing myself that I was not attracted to fat women.

Occasionally on sit-coms there would be joke references about being attracted to fat women. Most of the time when there was a fat woman on a show, either she wasnt very fat, or that cast someone who was not attractive. I didnt have any fat couples, that I knew of growing up. But I was sure I wasnt the only person in the world. I would look up the word fat in encyclopedias at school. 

My family got the internet probably around 93 or so. So of course the very first time I was left alone, I had to search fat girl which at the time did not produce much. The first site I found was the website, FaT GiRL: for fat dykes and the women who want them. Though this still wasnt a guy being into fat women but it was close enough that I spent hours upon hours rereading this website.

Soon after I found the NAAFA website, though almost nothing was said about men being attracted to fat women.

I think it might have been finding the model Brooke, who was both the first model and gainer that I found online. I assumed that if she was posting these pictures online that other people must also like it. 

I dont know when Dimensions came online, but I would be willing to bet I found it within 3 months of when it started. Dimensions is what I think officially confirmed that I was indeed not alone.

I dated jock girls in high school, because that is what I thought I was supposed to do. So this is attractive, I guess? I dated my last thin girl at the age of 19.


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## landshark (Jan 15, 2017)

fuelingfire said:


> *I dated jock girls in high school, because that is what I thought I was supposed to do.* So this is attractive, I guess? I dated my last thin girl at the age of 19.



Yup. That was me until ~24 or so. Even after that I dated a couple bigger girls and thought maybe I "got it out of my system" and tried to go back to dating fit/athletic girls. It just didn't work. To this day I appreciate the way a fit woman looks, but I'm just not into them.

What I've often wondered about myself is was I wired from the start to be an FA or did my first girlfriend set me on a course I was never able to alter. Either way I'm glad it happened because I doubt I'd have the wife I do if things went differently.


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## HereticFA (Jan 15, 2017)

There was a decade and a half between realizing my attraction to a fat girl in my first grade class (and later marrying another BBW who was 7 years older than me as my first wife) to becoming aware of other FAs like me. That was via an article in the old Penthouse Forum magazine in about 1977. That article was also where I learned about NAAFA. It was another six years (and a move to another state, and a divorce) before I found my first NAAFA chapter. 

The thinest woman I've ever been with was my first wife. who at 5'2" & 168 lbs after a diet of several months was still a BBW at a BMI of 30.7. I've been a practicing FA pretty much all of my life.


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## Iannathedriveress (Jan 15, 2017)

I'm remember being in elementary school that I had a crush on a cute, plump girl. Then the other day I discover a very early Big Cuties website where I would secretly smitten with models like Heather Boyle and AnnMarie. Also it is where I wish I was living as a plus size woman instead of living as a male at the time.


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## Blockierer (Jan 18, 2017)

When I was 17 (1972) I read an article about NAAFA with pics of a group of SSBBW and FA. I instantly knew I'm an FA too. Since that time I'm lost in the fat world.


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## MarkZ (Jan 19, 2017)

I was aware as soon as I hit puberty. I remember in high school, I had cheerleaders chasing me because I made the football team. They couldn't figure out why I told them to get lost&#128540; Myself, and one other friend of mine, waited for a buxom blonde to come down the hall, so we could catch a glimpse of her.
She was about 5'3" and about 200 lbs of woman &#10084;&#65039;


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## daedal (Jan 19, 2017)

One Saturday in the summer after kindergarten my mother took us swimming. My sister was still in a basinet so I was playing by myself in the baby pool when the first extremely fat woman that I can recall seeing walked past on her way to the adult pool. It was electrifying; I couldn't tear my eyes away. I don't know how long I stared while she sun bathed. After she got up and walked to the changing rooms, I left the baby pool and scoured every inch of the grounds searching for her or someone equally fat. From that moment on I was constantly on the lookout for exceptionally fat women.

Occasionally I noticed other men who seemed to appreciate the same women. I had no clue that this was sexual or that we were all FAs. I just thought of it as a pleasant preoccupation that other people enjoyed as well, even though it was apparently never to be acknowledged. I didn't actually learn about FAs until I was in my mid-teens when I happened to catch a fragment of a talk show about NAAFA on the car radio.


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## Orso (Feb 4, 2017)

I knew since the beginning that FAs existed. As I told somewhere else I became a FA in my very early teenage, after some talks with a friend - who was my age - about how feminine, beautiful and sexy were BBWs, so I knew from the first moment that other people too liked big women. 

I also saw that BBWs too had boyfriends, that they also got married, that sometimes husbands of BBWs showed clearly that they attracted by their fat wives. So, evidently there were teenagers and men who liked BBWs, eventually married them and were turned on by their fat bodies. And sometimes these husbands had so much sex with their fat wives that they produced lots of children. 

So I knew since the beginning that I was not alone and that other people too, both teenagers and adults, liked BBWs.


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## Leem (Feb 4, 2017)

The first time I realized that FAs existed I was in Georgetown standing in line to get coffee at a cafe. This guy came in and stood behind me and we chatted a little as we waited. He then said something that totally amazed fat old me. He said "I think you are the most beautiful woman I've met" and he invited me to dinner. It was 2006 I think.

I could tell by his tone that he was being sincere and his reaction to me was unmistakably of a man attracted to a woman. I had been so conditioned to think of myself as unattractive because I was fat that I was speechless for a moment. I would have accepted(if I wasn't already with someone) but my significant other and mom were sitting at a table nearby watching the whole thing. I remember saying. "Thanks for making me feel beautiful" and then told him I was with someone.

Needless to say this led to an evaluation of my relationship at the time and some long term reflection. I will never forget that FA and wish I could go back and thank him again and let him know what it meant to me at the time.


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## ssbbwhoneybee (Apr 11, 2017)

I learned about FA when I was in yahoo groups and I found a bbw group and I was shocked that men love big women, because where i am from, you better not be seen with a big woman or you will be laughed at but when I went to a party in Atlanta and saw all the other big women and the men that was buying me and my friend drinks, I was blown away lol funny but hell i was excited, I had found my people! Hell yeah!!!:smitten:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 13, 2017)

I figured out that some guys have "types" in my teen years. My father and brother prefer rather short, petite women. It was easy for me to think that smaller is better/preferred. It made me feel that being attractive could only be obtained through my size (losing weight- being petite)
Later on in my early teens, a guy was flirting with me hard...and then I saw he also flirted with some other girls- short, rounder, busty types...such as myself. That clarified that not all wanted/had to have the same "usual" thing. (Hope for me, yay!!)
The majority seemed to like thin girls....though once in a while I seemed to hold the attention of a fellow. 
It clicked then...some guys prefers certain body shapes/sizes- some smaller, some larger. Not really rocket science if you simply pay attention. 

This whole world of FA and gaining? That came from an introduction to the BBW/FA chat rooms on the net from another BBW in my reality. I still know that some some guys simply prefer bigger....and don't have the need to change/alter the appearance somehow. (I view that guys that insist on someone gaining to please them to be the same as those guys that always put their partners down as needing to lose weight. It's a control issue and who needs that shit?)

That "wanting them bigger" mentality was something I had to figure out how to wrap my mind around...but glad I did. Such realizations of what "you were told" and what "you have witnessed"can be life altering to some extent. I frequently remind myself now that there are two sides to every coin...and it seems to help open my mind up to broader realizations in matters other than weight gain/size.


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## landshark (Apr 14, 2017)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> This whole world of FA and gaining? That came from an introduction to the BBW/FA chat rooms on the net from another BBW in my reality. I still know that some some guys simply prefer bigger....and don't have the need to change/alter the appearance somehow. *(I view that guys that insist on someone gaining to please them to be the same as those guys that always put their partners down as needing to lose weight. It's a control issue and who needs that shit?)*



I've thought this for a long time as well. In my few years here on Dims there've been plenty of people mention that men who pressure their wives about weight loss are shallow, citing that he should love HER. Yet the same principle applies to pressuring a partner to gain weight! It goes both ways and we've had plenty of people contribute here over the years who refuse to acknowledge that.

Thank you for such a profoundly good observation!


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## AmandaLynn (Apr 14, 2017)

happily_married said:


> I've thought this for a long time as well. In my few years here on Dims there've been plenty of people mention that men who pressure their wives about weight loss are shallow, citing that he should love HER. Yet the same principle applies to pressuring a partner to gain weight! It goes both ways and we've had plenty of people contribute here over the years who refuse to acknowledge that.
> 
> Thank you for such a profoundly good observation!



An excellent observation actually. A real credit to both of you. 

This takes me back to the post about watching someone struggle to get up a flight of stairs. I am all about indulging and if gaining and getting fat is a part of it and it's a turn on, that's great too. I am all about the encouragement. I'm with it. But there has to be some kind of mutual enjoyment. I feel like when it gets to a point where your partner is struggling to do everyday tasks, or is uncomfortable with their own appearance is not really fun anymore. Pressuring someone to do anything to a point where it is not enjoyable, just makes it ugly. Just my two cents, back to the beer.


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## Astarte (Apr 25, 2017)

I didn't realise someone might actually tolerate my appearance/size let alone admire it until I met my spouse.

The feeling of being accepted and being regarded as desirable was nothing short of overwhelming. It took me a couple of years to start to really believe it. Before that I took him telling me that I was beautiful as pity or a joke. It's quite amazing he didn't give up on me.


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## DiDiZia (May 25, 2017)

I've never come across an FA in real life. I saw a couple documentaries on BBW models, that's pretty much how I found out. I was mostly impassive to it.
But, when all of these idiotic trolls jump on the 'lets hate fat people' bandwagon, it kind of drew me closer to the fat acceptance movement, and it's importance.
I'm still on a journey to accepting my size, and I utilise this forum for my self-esteem. I don't experience this appreciation in real life.

What's nice is that I know they're out there, somewhere!


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## Colonial Warrior (May 26, 2017)

In the late 80's whe I saw a repor about the late SSBBW model Debra 'Teighlor' Perkins in a adult magazine. Just before that I used to feel myself as a weird guy for being a fat admirer. I later learned for organizations for Fat Acceptance and my life changed a lot!!!


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## BigElectricKat (May 26, 2017)

Tad said:


> If you are an FA, when did you first realize that you arent alone in this. If you are not an FA, when did you learn about them?
> 
> And I guess maybe that could be in two parts, as in when did you hear something about them or get some inkling, and when did you come to sort of accept them as part of life (that you could, at least in theory, interact with). For some people those might be really close together, for others they might be far apart.



I think I first learned the term in 98 or 99. At the time I was perusing the internet chat rooms on Yahoo and came across one that was called Chubby Chasers. Befriending some of the regulars there, I was introduced to the terms BBW, SSBBW, Zaftig, and FA. 
Now as a caveat, I have to reveal that Im not an FA per se. I love women: all shapes, sizes, and colors. Just love women. Period. My point is that I dont exclude women of size and in fact appreciate that maybe more than your average guy might. I wouldnt want to start a relationship with a woman just because she was large. Just like I wouldnt someone to like me because Im black.
Ive been asked why I would frequent a BBW/FA site or why I would want to chat with like-minded people. The answer is simple: all of my experiences talking, chatting, and dating BBWs have been positive. Ive found that usually BBWs are intrinsically caring, open minded, loving, kind, tolerant, and fun. Couple that with intelligence, beauty, and confidence (even just a little) and you have a recipe for lasting friendship and maybe more.
:bow:


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## John Smith (May 29, 2017)

I realized F.A.s exist earlier this decennial, when I was 17 years old and find this website's virtual librairy with all its WG-genre literral glossary.


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## plushkitty (Jun 4, 2017)

My first inkling that some people might actually think fat is beautiful came from reading Terry Pratchett's Discworld books, specifically the ones featuring Agnes the witch/opera diva. I don't know whether he was actually a FA, but he certainly had no problem writing like one! It blew my teenage mind to see a character described as both very large and good-looking. 

I really got into the fat acceptance world when I stumbled across a few fat acceptance blogs. One of them mentioned Dimensions in a disapproving way, "I am not a fetish" kind of thing. I thought to myself "Wait... this can be a fetish? There are people out there who would truly think I'm beautiful the way I am, not just put up with my appearance because they like the rest of me?" All my teenage and adult life I thought that tolerance was the most I could ever hope for. That if, by some miracle, I found a person who loved me, they would never think my body was beautiful and would always want me to lose weight. 

So I searched for Dimensions and fell down the rabbit hole!


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## landshark (Jun 18, 2017)

plushkitty said:


> My first inkling that some people might actually think fat is beautiful came from reading Terry Pratchett's Discworld books, specifically the ones featuring Agnes the witch/opera diva. I don't know whether he was actually a FA, but he certainly had no problem writing like one! It blew my teenage mind to see a character described as both very large and good-looking.
> 
> I really got into the fat acceptance world when I stumbled across a few fat acceptance blogs. One of them mentioned Dimensions in a disapproving way, "I am not a fetish" kind of thing. I thought to myself "Wait... this can be a fetish? There are people out there who would truly think I'm beautiful the way I am, not just put up with my appearance because they like the rest of me?" All my teenage and adult life I thought that tolerance was the most I could ever hope for. *That if, by some miracle, I found a person who loved me, they would never think my body was beautiful and would always want me to lose weight. *
> 
> So I searched for Dimensions and fell down the rabbit hole!



That has got to be an awful feeling. I think every person should be able to have a realistic hope that someone would find them attractive and accept them how they are.

I've shared a few times here that I once dated a woman who turned out to still be married. She was about 350 pounds, and only 5'2-3, so you can imagine at that height that 350 was impressive. Anyway, her husband left her literally for the woman next door, who was mainstream "hot." She was fit, dressed in a way that showed her body off, drove a Corvette, etc. My GF felt she couldn't compete and had massive body image issues as a result. But then I stumbled into the picture and at the same time I did so did another man who was interested in her. In a short time I saw her go from very image sensitive to outright empowered. I think those years of being married and never really having her husband fawn all over her body, then leave her outright for a woman who was everything she wasn't, took its toll. But then when she saw there were guys literally competing to be her boyfriend it dawned on her that she was something worth pursuing. And that seemed to really boost her confidence and gave her a lot of drive in the time she and I dated.

We all like to think we don't care what others think but to some degree everyone draws some amount of validation from others. I think the risk for a lot of plus size girls is for them to have their defenses up to the extent they don't recognize a legitimate interest when they see it. I've experienced this as well. I think the best thing a person can do is find that crucial balance between being able to accept a compliment (and being able to recognize they're worthy of such compliments) without letting it get to his/her head. A healthy self image without the ego. 

Out of curiosity, have you found people who are interested in you as you are?


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## fritzi (Jun 18, 2017)

I still can't help but believe that FA's exist only down in this rabbit hole that is Dims.

Never met one IRL, never.

In contrast, I have run into several FFAs.


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## fuelingfire (Jun 18, 2017)

fritzi said:


> I still can't help but believe that FA's exist only down in this rabbit hole that is Dims.
> 
> Never met one IRL, never.
> 
> In contrast, I have run into several FFAs.



No one taught you the secret handshake?


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## landshark (Jun 18, 2017)

fritzi said:


> I still can't help but believe that FA's exist only down in this rabbit hole that is Dims.
> 
> Never met one IRL, never.
> 
> In contrast, I have run into several FFAs.



I'm sorry to hear this. I can assure you we're out there! And I existed before I ever got sucked into Dims!

My wife has in me a guy with a genuine preference for plus sizes. She's in the high 300s and she won't ever hear a hint of complaint from me about it. In fact, I'm proud of her. I realize she's not an object for my arm to be seen publicly but I still derive an immense amount of pride when we're out in public. I love being seen with her. I love that in our various circles of friends she is often (pretty much always) the biggest woman there. It makes me proud to know she's been approaching 400 pounds and that I am more likely at this point to have a 400+ pound wife than a sub-300 pound wife. She is a beautiful woman and even more beautiful person and I am blessed to have her.

What's ironic about all this is despite being so enameled with her, and despite adoring her physical characteristics, weight included, as much as I do, she just loathes herself!  She is getting better about this but there is still a long way to go. 

Even she finds it ironic though. She'll chat w some of her friends, some of whom aren't even that chubby, and they'll talk about how their husbands nag at them to lose weight. My wife will say she can get as fat as she likes but wishes she could lose weight!

Ironic indeed.

I truly do hope you find what makes you happy someday.


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## quantumbits (Jun 19, 2017)

I'm not sure I'm a FA. I came to this site because I like big curves and I'm more open minded about fat woman. I've always like curves+fat more than just curves alone. But unlike many here, my attraction seems lighter weight.

I didn't know about the FA term until recently.

As fat people go, I don't judge anybody. I've had skinny and fat friends as well crushes for both too.

For me what's interesting about this topic is the sexualization aspect and whether people feel ashamed or objectified. Like it seems a lot of men in the BBW community are doing high-fives but most woman hate being big and only BBW for money. So there's no happy medium where a man can like BBW and BBW can like BBW. This is my impression.


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## loopytheone (Jun 21, 2017)

quantumbits said:


> For me what's interesting about this topic is the sexualization aspect and whether people feel ashamed or objectified. Like it seems a lot of men in the BBW community are doing high-fives but most woman hate being big and only BBW for money. So there's no happy medium where a man can like BBW and BBW can like BBW. This is my impression.



I'm honestly not sure where you are getting this from? If you are referring to the ladies of Dims, at least. 

Women of all sizes don't appreciate feeling objectified. But there's a whole forum here of BBW, and most of them either happily accept or like their plus sized bodies. You say 'only BBW for money'... I guess you are referring to the paysite models? Who are, for the most part, confident women happy with the way they look. Certainly they aren't fat just so that they can be BBW models. 

Also, personally, I'm a BBW that is very happy to be so. I also have a lot of friends who feel the same way.


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## plushkitty (Jun 21, 2017)

happily_married said:


> We all like to think we don't care what others think but to some degree everyone draws some amount of validation from others. I think the risk for a lot of plus size girls is for them to have their defenses up to the extent they don't recognize a legitimate interest when they see it. I've experienced this as well. I think the best thing a person can do is find that crucial balance between being able to accept a compliment (and being able to recognize they're worthy of such compliments) without letting it get to his/her head. A healthy self image without the ego.
> 
> Out of curiosity, have you found people who are interested in you as you are?



Sorry, I meant to reply to you earlier and apparently never did. :blush:

No, I've never encountered a person who was obviously interested in me the way I am (or was at the time). I think a large part of that is the fact that I was on some pretty heavy medication through most of my teens and twenties, when my peers were single and experimenting. I barely had the energy for school, let alone a relationship, and I didn't get out much. Now that I'm on much better medication, I'm in my thirties and most of my friends and acquaintances have paired up.

Once I've made the move to Colorado I plan to join some gaming and hobby Meetups and maybe a dating site or two, see if I can find any single FAs I click with. If not, oh well, there are far worse things in the world than being single.


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## BigElectricKat (Jun 22, 2017)

plushkitty said:


> Sorry, I meant to reply to you earlier and apparently never did. :blush:
> 
> 
> Once I've made the move to Colorado I plan to join some gaming and hobby Meetups and maybe a dating site or two, see if I can find any single FAs I click with. If not, oh well, there are far worse things in the world than being single.



So, the person has to be FA? You don't think you could perhaps click with someone who wasn't but was interested in you for you? Just curious.


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## landshark (Jun 22, 2017)

BigElectricKat said:


> So, the person has to be FA? You don't think you could perhaps click with someone who wasn't but was interested in you for you? Just curious.



I think the idea here is someone who's not an FA or otherwise just very open minded about physical preference is not likely to get past the initial sight test with a plus size woman. Personality matter but physical preference does too and in many cases you don't get to the personality test if one doesn't satisfy the physical preference test. Because many have an idea that the worst thing a woman can be is fat, they won't even consider someone who's fat but otherwise an ideal match for them.


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## BigElectricKat (Jun 22, 2017)

happily_married said:


> I think the idea here is someone who's not an FA or otherwise just very open minded about physical preference is not likely to get past the initial sight test with a plus size woman. Personality matter but physical preference does too and in many cases you don't get to the personality test if one doesn't satisfy the physical preference test. Because many have an idea that the worst thing a woman can be is fat, they won't even consider someone who's fat but otherwise an ideal match for them.



I agree with most of your statements here. Most people do have physical preferences or perhaps more importantly, physical limits which they will/will not accept in a partner. In a perfect world I suppose there wouldnt be a need for such things but I acknowledge that it does exist.

Like youve stated, personality matters. But as humans, unless you are blind, what you see visually is what gets things started. Thats the first in a list of decisions that ultimately determine if its a good match or not. But do I have to be an FA to be attracted to a plus-sized gal? Conversely, does she have to have jungle fever (I hate that term. I dont come from a freakin jungle) or be a Queen of Spades to be attracted to me? In either case, I would not want someone to be attracted to me solely based on a physical attribute.

I dont consider myself an FA per se. That said, if Ashley Graham or Chrissy Metz (or a couple of the nice women here) walked up to me and said You wanna grab some lunch, you better believe I am going to YES! 

My hope is that EVERY gal finds someone that loves them for who they are. And I understand the need to surround yourself with people who will accept you for your size, shape, color, creed, religious beliefs, etc. However, I believe that if you pigeon-hole yourself into thinking that only a certain type of person will like you, you could miss out of something truly magical.

Just my thoughts. Hopefully, someone won't call for me to be banished from the community.


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## plushkitty (Jun 22, 2017)

My thinking was along the same lines as happily_married's; most people are into thinner partners, so I really doubt anyone other than an FA or someone flexible in their size preferences is going to see me as anything other than a friend. I don't want to be with someone who's thinking "Gosh, plushkitty has such a great personality, we share so many interests, she's just who I'm looking for on the inside. Now if I can just encourage her to diet and exercise her way to thinness she'd be beautiful!". 

I can't give a "thin girls only" person what they want in a partner. I want to make my partner happy; mentally, emotionally, and yes physically too. I want someone who thinks I'm great just the way I am, inside and out. And if I never find that, I'd rather be single than in an unhappy relationship.


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## landshark (Jun 22, 2017)

plushkitty said:


> My thinking was along the same lines as happily_married's; most people are into thinner partners, so I really doubt anyone other than an FA or someone flexible in their size preferences is going to see me as anything other than a friend. I don't want to be with someone who's thinking "Gosh, plushkitty has such a great personality, we share so many interests, she's just who I'm looking for on the inside. Now if I can just encourage her to diet and exercise her way to thinness she'd be beautiful!".
> 
> I can't give a "thin girls only" person what they want in a partner. I want to make my partner happy; mentally, emotionally, and yes physically too. *I want someone who thinks I'm great just the way I am, inside and out.* And if I never find that, I'd rather be single than in an unhappy relationship.



Absolutely. Nobody wants to the one someone else "settled" for. I think that is one thing that drive me crazy about the assumptions people sometimes make about men who date/marry plus size women. I've literally had people tell me the reason I'm happy with my wife is maybe I can't do any better. I suppose that's true, really: it doesn't get any better than her. But they mean it as a dig to me, not a compliment to her.


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## AmandaLynn (Jun 24, 2017)

This is going to sound funny, but I was the first FA I actually knew. Lol.


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## wrestlingguy (Jun 24, 2017)

AmandaLynn said:


> This is going to sound funny, but I was the first FA I actually knew. Lol.



It's funny, but more common than we think.

I had an attraction to fat women since I was a kid. First wife was on the thick side, but we divorced way back in '94. It was around the beginning of '96 that I started to see fat women on the internet, and discovered this site not long after.

It felt strange, seeing guys posting about the same stuff that I thought was only common to me. I moved forward, and went to a BBW dance at a hotel in Mount Laurel, NJ later that year ('96). The amount of women there had my head spinning, including women whose names from that time still are mentioned with reverence.

More amazing was how few men were there. 

As time moved on, more men started their venture towards fat admiration, and the ratio of men to women at BBW events I either attended or ran inched closer. 

It's still amazes me though, how few FAs (and I mean both male & female) sort of felt alone when they first came to grips with their preference.


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## BigElectricKat (Jun 26, 2017)

plushkitty said:


> My thinking was along the same lines as happily_married's; most people are into thinner partners, so I really doubt anyone other than an FA or someone flexible in their size preferences is going to see me as anything other than a friend. I don't want to be with someone who's thinking "Gosh, plushkitty has such a great personality, we share so many interests, she's just who I'm looking for on the inside. Now if I can just encourage her to diet and exercise her way to thinness she'd be beautiful!".
> 
> I can't give a "thin girls only" person what they want in a partner. I want to make my partner happy; mentally, emotionally, and yes physically too. I want someone who thinks I'm great just the way I am, inside and out. And if I never find that, I'd rather be single than in an unhappy relationship.



First and foremost, I don't mean to come off as argumentative. Only wanting to give a different perspective. I respect your right to thik and do as you please.

I certainly (maybe more than you'd know) can empathize with you position. My thought is that I don't have to be an FA to like you. I don't have to be an FA to want to date you or marry you. I just have to be a PKA (plushkitty admirer). But what if I'm a PKA and not an FA? I don't get the time of day? (Granted, the affection has to be reciprocated or it's a moot point) But I would submit that you don't necessarily have to limit yourself to the FA community solely to find that special person. That's all I'm saying.


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## landshark (Jun 26, 2017)

BigElectricKat said:


> First and foremost, I don't mean to come off as argumentative. Only wanting to give a different perspective. I respect your right to thik and do as you please.
> 
> I certainly (maybe more than you'd know) can empathize with you position. My thought is that I don't have to be an FA to like you. I don't have to be an FA to want to date you or marry you. I just have to be a PKA (plushkitty admirer). But what if I'm a PKA and not an FA? I don't get the time of day? (Granted, the affection has to be reciprocated or it's a moot point) But I would submit that you don't necessarily have to limit yourself to the FA community solely to find that special person. That's all I'm saying.



I see what you're saying but the truth in most cases a person who would be open to pursuing a relationship with a plus size woman is either an FA or passive/open minded when it comes to physical preference. There are probably outliers where a guy grew to accept a body type he otherwise wouldn't have on the strength of her personality, I'll readily acknowledge that. But in most cases if a guy isn't open to dating plus sizes, and MANY are not, he'd never get past that crucial initial attraction piece. By definition the vast majority of guys who will clear that hurdle are most likely FAs.


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## NOLAman (Jun 26, 2017)

I knew I preferred big girls as soon as I hit puberty. I became aware that there were other guys who shared my preference when I ran across magazines like Plumpers and Buf (pre-internet days) at about age 18 or so. It wasn't until some years later that I heard the term FA.


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## BigElectricKat (Jun 27, 2017)

happily_married said:


> I see what you're saying but the truth in most cases a person who would be open to pursuing a relationship with a plus size woman is either an FA or passive/open minded when it comes to physical preference. There are probably outliers where a guy grew to accept a body type he otherwise wouldn't have on the strength of her personality, I'll readily acknowledge that. But in most cases if a guy isn't open to dating plus sizes, and MANY are not, he'd never get past that crucial initial attraction piece. By definition the vast majority of guys who will clear that hurdle are most likely FAs.



Actually, I think there are less outliers and it is just becoming more of the norm. Guys everywhere are rethinking and reevaluating what they see as beautiful. There are champions of plus sized women who are not women at all. Yes, you have FAs who are more vocal and you have persons in the media who are speaking up and speaking out for acceptance. But to me it's not about finding that you love bigger women (or men). It realizing that a person, no matter their size, is worth your time and effort and love. 

I guess I'm just adverse to feeling like I'm "left out" of the club because I don't consider myself an FA, even though I certainly find many, many plus sized gals to be extremely attractive (otherwise I wouldn't be here). But maybe I'm looking at it wrong: Maybe I am an FA and should just embrace that instead of railing against it. 

Okay, I'm an FA! Debate closed.:bow:


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## luckyfa (Aug 16, 2021)

I had already been a longterm FA before I found out that „fat admiring“ was a thing. I watched my wife gain 130 lbs in 10 years, enjoying it tremendously, without knowing that there‘s a subset of people who refer to themselves as „fat admirers“. I only knew that I love my wife and that her excess body fat turned me on sexually.


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## Shotha (Aug 17, 2021)

I had an interest in fat people by the time that I was four years old. I realized that I was sexually attracted to fat men, when puberty set in at the age of about 12 or 13. I finally heard of chubby-chasers in the 1980's, when I was in my early 30's, and instantly identified with them.


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