# Something I have been thinking about...



## Kortana (Jun 25, 2008)

Ever since I was introduced to Dimensions (and Feederism for that fact) I have had something on my mind. Before I explain I will note that I am not going to point out any examples- this isn't meant to call anyone out, it is simply to understand everything a little better.

There have been many times when feederism has led to heated discussions. Sometimes because the topic was placed on a wrong board and those who think it is discusting freak out or maybe it was on the right board but someone wanders over to express their discust.

Several times I have seen those same people post comments about pictures such as " your new pounds look great on you, keep packing them on!" or "You defintely should endulge in a few more cupcakes, they look great on you"..I am sure you know the type of comment, I don't think I need to explain.

So, isn't that VERY contradictory? I mean, are those people just lying to themselves, afraid to admit they are into the fetish? Are there degrees? Cause I just don't see much difference between an encourager and a feeder..

Again, this is not an attak on anyone, I am really just curious!


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## KHayes666 (Jun 25, 2008)

Kortana said:


> Ever since I was introduced to Dimensions (and Feederism for that fact) I have had something on my mind. Before I explain I will note that I am not going to point out any examples- this isn't meant to call anyone out, it is simply to understand everything a little better.
> 
> There have been many times when feederism has led to heated discussions. Sometimes because the topic was placed on a wrong board and those who think it is discusting freak out or maybe it was on the right board but someone wanders over to express their discust.
> 
> ...



In my defense, it depends on the person and the situation.

For instance if you made a post saying "Look how fat I'm getting, omg, i'm huge and i LOVEEEEE it " Since you're comfortable with your body, I would n't be as generic as "You definately should endulge in a few more cupcakes" but generally I'd be supportive and continue to encourage you to grow.

But if you made a post going "I've gained 25 lbs since december and i hate it, i really don't think I look good" While I'd try to get you to believe otherwise, if you wanted to lose weight i'd support you in doing so. That's what friends are for..to support each other.

Now for the posts you're referring to where we display "discust", again it depends on the situation. I'm sure you're well aware of someone who publicly announced her desire to be immobile, because she has a child to take care of, I did not approve. 

I believe I'm a little bit more intelligent and compassionate than some of the other people on the weight boards, so I hope this can set the record straight from at least where I stand. I'm friend first, encourager second. If you, Kortana, told me you wanted to gain weight, I'd love it. If you told me you wanted to lose weight, then go ahead. I just go with the flow, its your life and you can do what you want with it, I just say enjoy it ;-)


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## Kortana (Jun 25, 2008)

Thanks for the post- I definately see where your coming from.

I understand that there are many levels in that sense. Some part of the fetish are more appealing to some than others. But on the boards there have been advocates against feederism that then turn around and encourage.

That's not actually pointing at those who disagree with ceratin aspects, they claim to think feeders and feedees in general are freaks but then encourage the "results", so what is the difference really? Wouldn't they then be on some level feeders themselves? Just because your not taking the cake from the package and feeding it to the feedee doesn't make you any less part of the process, catch my drift?

As for the reference to the other thread, I saw where you were coming from and understand your stand, it really had nothing to do with that- more of a general conversation about the fetish and the complexities there of.


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## KHayes666 (Jun 25, 2008)

Kortana said:


> Thanks for the post- I definately see where your coming from.
> 
> I understand that there are many levels in that sense. Some part of the fetish are more appealing to some than others. But on the boards there have been advocates against feederism that then turn around and encourage.
> 
> ...



I think a few people in here that are appalled by feeders and turn around and say "you look great" to a growing feedee are just doing it to be polite. They probably honestly think its wrong what they are doing but since it could be a very dear friend of theirs, they don't want to hurt that person's feelings so they'll say something along the lines of encouragement.

I myself have nothing to hide, I say what's on my mind. If i encourage them to eat more, its because the situation is right. if I tell someone not to gain, its because I don't believe the situation is right. 

But that's just me, i'm sure you'll get a lot of diferent responses from others on this.


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## Tad (Jun 25, 2008)

Hmmm, Id not noticed this so much. Well, maybe in a way, but I never really saw a conflict there. That is, there are some people who strongly dislike feeders telling a woman that she should be fatter, and more broadly disapprove of deliberately trying to gain weight. But at the same time they may be able to see fat women as beautiful, and are also opposed to telling people to lose weight or to not eat what they want. I guess maybe the attitude is do what feels right for your body, dont do what anyone else tells you is right for your body. Or something like that. 

But I dont think Ive noticed any one person both bash feeding and tell someone theyd look better after some more cupcakes. Im not saying it hasnt happened, just that Ive not noticed it.


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## Amatrix (Jun 25, 2008)

Kortana said:


> Ever since I was introduced to Dimensions (and Feederism for that fact) I have had something on my mind. Before I explain I will note that I am not going to point out any examples- this isn't meant to call anyone out, it is simply to understand everything a little better.
> 
> There have been many times when feederism has led to heated discussions. Sometimes because the topic was placed on a wrong board and those who think it is discusting freak out or maybe it was on the right board but someone wanders over to express their discust.
> 
> ...



what a great topic kortana!

as a newbie on the scene but someone who has studied fetishism for about 4 years...
its hard to really pin point things.
like k.hayes has said- it depends on the person.

all i really know about feederism has changed. at first i was totally against it, for many psychological and emotional reasons, along with the physical ones as well.

i think a lot of the time feeders get bad raps. really and truly believe that. and most of the "encourager's" are lips servicing someone for fear of being found out as a feeder, or just trying to be nice. not all... some.

feeders, feedees, encouragers and encouragees... it can all be very confusing.

there are however different levels.
there is role playing, or word play which just involves thinking about someone gaining, stuffing or being feed...
all the way to forced feeding, stuffing, and gaining.
everyones level of comfort is different in all areas.

feeders have this rep of being ultra aggressive and slightly condescending.then again... not all are like that.

only interested in one thing, getting someone fat, or fatter.which isnt always the case...
not all FAs are feeders... not all feeders are FAs.

encourager's tend to be more flow, and zen like. more like whatever happens happens... and they are happy to just speak to someone about it, and be there for milestones. 

i know what you mean by the placement of a wrong thread... and the people who seem to be disgusted by it... only to turn around and search for it... just to comment on it. with the justification that there are stories on the erotic board to look into.

its just like in life... some people are into peanut butter... some people arent.

it is a *pardon the pun* thin line.

i always let someone else bring it up in conversations... and if it never comes up... then so be it.


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## Totmacher (Jun 25, 2008)

IMHO, it's only contradictory if you claim to be into Size Acceptance. Many people seem to think Size Acceptance exists in some contradictory state where women of size are preferred , but size has absolutely no impact on a person's appearance. I don't buy into that. I like fat chicks.


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## Ted Michael Morgan (Jun 26, 2008)

My former wife looked so good when she gained that 50 pounds after our separation. I had seen pictures of her when she was in college and was really heavy and they always turned me on. I want to fatten a lover so badly it hurts. 





Amatrix said:


> what a great topic kortana!
> 
> as a newbie on the scene but someone who has studied fetishism for about 4 years...
> its hard to really pin point things.
> ...


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## Amatrix (Jun 26, 2008)

Ted Michael Morgan said:


> My former wife looked so good when she gained that 50 pounds after our separation. I had seen pictures of her when she was in college and was really heavy and they always turned me on. I want to fatten a lover so badly it hurts.


lol thats something i hear alot about. kudos for speaking up and out.


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## Ted Michael Morgan (Jun 26, 2008)

Amatrix said:


> lol thats something i hear alot about. kudos for speaking up and out.


Thank you. She would have been so sexy with about a 100 extra pounds, though she was sexy thin as well.


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## Kortana (Jun 26, 2008)

Ted Michael Morgan said:


> Thank you. She would have been so sexy with about a 100 extra pounds, though she was sexy thin as well.



Just to go off topic for a minute, I don't think "sexy" is a size or weight. Sexy is am attitude!


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## Kortana (Jun 26, 2008)

Amatrix said:


> what a great topic kortana!
> 
> as a newbie on the scene but someone who has studied fetishism for about 4 years...
> its hard to really pin point things.
> ...



Feederism has changed for me too. Before I met my boyfriend "in person" he told me about his fetish. I was horrified, I even thought about not meeting him. I couldn't understand why ANYONE would want to see a woman gain, I had spent my whole life trying to lose.

I had always been with men dispite of my weight, it was never a turn on for them. Well..once we met and really started to talk, I understood a little more.

I guess it is different for all but sometimes (and don't chew me out people) I feel that all FA's have a little feeder in them. IT seems that even though you may agree with the practice of feeding as a fetish you agree that extra weight is attractive...so is it just the process you disagree with?


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## Ted Michael Morgan (Jun 27, 2008)

Kortana said:


> Just to go off topic for a minute, I don't think "sexy" is a size or weight. Sexy is am attitude!


Actually, you are right!


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## Ted Michael Morgan (Jun 27, 2008)

Kortana said:


> Feederism has changed for me too. Before I met my boyfriend "in person" he told me about his fetish. I was horrified, I even thought about not meeting him. I couldn't understand why ANYONE would want to see a woman gain, I had spent my whole life trying to lose.
> 
> I had always been with men dispite of my weight, it was never a turn on for them. Well..once we met and really started to talk, I understood a little more.
> 
> I guess it is different for all but sometimes (and don't chew me out people) I feel that all FA's have a little feeder in them. IT seems that even though you may agree with the practice of feeding as a fetish you agree that extra weight is attractive...so is it just the process you disagree with?


I think women with extra weight are beautiful. I was programed to avoid heavier women but they are the ones I most desire.I just saw young woman at the market about an hour ago. And I immediately began to imagine her gaing weight. I do that often.


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## KHayes666 (Jun 27, 2008)

Kortana said:


> Feederism has changed for me too. Before I met my boyfriend "in person" he told me about his fetish. I was horrified, I even thought about not meeting him. I couldn't understand why ANYONE would want to see a woman gain, I had spent my whole life trying to lose.
> 
> I had always been with men dispite of my weight, it was never a turn on for them. Well..once we met and really started to talk, I understood a little more.
> 
> I guess it is different for all but sometimes (and don't chew me out people) I feel that all FA's have a little feeder in them. IT seems that even though you may agree with the practice of feeding as a fetish you agree that extra weight is attractive...so is it just the process you disagree with?



Why does every single feedee/foodee/gainer/bbw that loves food/etc....have a boyfriend and I'm stuck with the self conscious fat girls that hate how they look?

*looks down* That wasn't our deal, Satan...dammit! lol :doh:


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## Tooz (Jun 27, 2008)

Kortana said:


> Just to go off topic for a minute, I don't think "sexy" is a size or weight. Sexy is am attitude!



As much as we say this, to an extent it is not true. I personally cannot deny that there are many people who think if you are thin you aren't sexy (or vice versa). Period, end of story. No attitude will change that for a lot of them.


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## Kortana (Jun 27, 2008)

Tooz said:


> As much as we say this, to an extent it is not true. I personally cannot deny that there are many people who think if you are thin you aren't sexy (or vice versa). Period, end of story. No attitude will change that for a lot of them.




Oh I totally agree but I meant internally I guess, meaning that people are sexier when they have the right attitude, ya know?


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## Tooz (Jun 27, 2008)

Kortana said:


> Oh I totally agree but I meant internally I guess, meaning that people are sexier when they have the right attitude, ya know?



Oh yes, I totally agree with that. If you THINK you are sexy and you FEEL sexy, I think more people will be drawn to you.


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## Kortana (Jun 27, 2008)

Tooz said:


> Oh yes, I totally agree with that. If you THINK you are sexy and you FEEL sexy, I think more people will be drawn to you.



Exactly what I was going for- you found the right words.


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## HollyGirl (Jun 29, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> Why does every single feedee/foodee/gainer/bbw that loves food/etc....have a boyfriend and I'm stuck with the self conscious fat girls that hate how they look?
> 
> *looks down* That wasn't our deal, Satan...dammit! lol :doh:



****Raises hand****

I dont have a boyfriend!!


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## Amatrix (Jun 30, 2008)

Kortana said:


> Feederism has changed for me too. Before I met my boyfriend "in person" he told me about his fetish. I was horrified, I even thought about not meeting him. I couldn't understand why ANYONE would want to see a woman gain, I had spent my whole life trying to lose.
> 
> I had always been with men dispite of my weight, it was never a turn on for them. Well..once we met and really started to talk, I understood a little more.
> 
> I guess it is different for all but sometimes (and don't chew me out people) I feel that all FA's have a little feeder in them. IT seems that even though you may agree with the practice of feeding as a fetish you agree that extra weight is attractive...so is it just the process you disagree with?



YAY! another girl who changed her mind! same story with me and my BF.

and know what? i agree... i tend to think most FAs have a feeder tendency. as they might say something like "yea she is really pretty, but not heavy enough..." or "she is cute but would be hot with about 100 more pounds on her..."

i do agree with the practice of feederism as a fetish but under very complicated rules.
like... no force feeding
no disappointment if "goals" arent met.
the understanding that this is my body, and i might even lose weight
only in solid committed relationships...etc.

i disagree with how some women and men go about it, to be honest.
i am not into like the forced feeding or the humiliation part.
breaking chairs and things like that still embarrass me, and i think the whole forced feeding with the bottle is a little to gerbil for me.
im not into the whole weight gain shakes, or lack of exercise.
i actually eat "okay" * i do indulge in snacks and anything i want...* but my job is a very psychical one- constantly.plus i swim daily and am active by nature.


then again... this is what i am comfortable with. i have met other ladies who are into the humiliation and forced feeding, who are simply looking for anyone to pay them attention while gaining... or just looking to please someone and then have them stick around because of the gain and not because it is love...

its like i might disagree with the war in the middle east, but i support our troops who are fighting for what they believe in.
you might not like everything or anything about it, but to at least try and understand it more from a different point is always a good thing.

so to answer your question im against a process of gaining that i dont think is safe or sane. something that would affect a person mentally or psychically in such a way that would leave them scared for life.
people have different levels of what is safe and or sane for them, i know i personally wont compromise myself or what i believe in for anyone else to get their rocks off.
so its kinda on a personal level, and once you find someone else who is on the same level as you, or at least interested in learning about that specific level... *it is awesome*.:happy:


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## Ted Michael Morgan (Jul 1, 2008)

Amatrix said:


> YAY! another girl who changed her mind! same story with me and my BF.
> 
> and know what? i agree... i tend to think most FAs have a feeder tendency. as they might say something like "yea she is really pretty, but not heavy enough..." or "she is cute but would be hot with about 100 more pounds on her..."
> 
> ...



Some of the feederism motifs are simply silly. My desire would be to take a lover to Galatoires and frankly at the moment I cant afford even one visit! Fine dinning is the dream way!


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## Amatrix (Jul 1, 2008)

Ted Michael Morgan said:


> Some of the feederism motifs are simply silly. My desire would be to take a lover to Galatoires and frankly at the moment I cant afford even one visit! Fine dinning is the dream way!



excuse the derailment...
/derail
doesnt have to be always fine dining...
i mean i love stuffing on sushi and stuff like that...
but there can be no substitute for a taco bell trip...like i seriously spent maybe 15 bucks there and am still stuffed from 6 hours ago.

or even
a mac and cheese with a gallon on chocolate milk.:eat2:

but i agree fine dining is nice... i like to go cheap sometimes.
if i had nothing but fine dining all the time i would get sick of the pretentious food and frilly waiters.
\on track... toot toot.


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## Kortana (Jul 1, 2008)

I like the intimacy of being at home anyway, I mean- you can have some fun in public but I prefer private.

Fine dinning is great when it is a special night out but I don't think I would handle the fancy stuff all the time!


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## KHayes666 (Jul 1, 2008)

Why can't I find an Anamatrix or a Kortana of my own....why do I keep finding the over confident and the self conscious?


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## Ted Michael Morgan (Jul 1, 2008)

Amatrix said:


> excuse the derailment...
> /derail
> doesnt have to be always fine dining...
> i mean i love stuffing on sushi and stuff like that...
> ...


I lived in New Orleans for 12 years and now live near a famous Louisiana restaurant, but I am looking for another part-time job. But I agree with you--eating is the means to the end. I lovr sushi and Taco Bell. :eat1::blush:


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## Ted Michael Morgan (Jul 1, 2008)

Amatrix said:


> excuse the derailment...
> /derail
> doesnt have to be always fine dining...
> i mean i love stuffing on sushi and stuff like that...
> ...


I agree with you. In Louisiana, we can and do enjoy all sort of eating. Red beans and rice is the starting place. I love sushi. I love poor boys and fried oysters. :eat1: :eat2:


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## Amatrix (Jul 2, 2008)

Kortana said:


> I like the intimacy of being at home anyway, I mean- you can have some fun in public but I prefer private.
> 
> Fine dinning is great when it is a special night out but I don't think I would handle the fancy stuff all the time!



i truly agree with this.
such an intimate activity like stuffing or feeding is much more enjoyable in a private area, where you can focus on the other person, the food and things like that.

i once stuffed with sushi with my BF and there were all these loud college students-
literally made me sick, had a terrible headache and had to sleep it off instead of enjoying it.

plus with the price of food and gas- i tend to think its more interesting to get the ingredients together, cook together and enjoy it.



KHayes666 said:


> Why can't I find an Anamatrix or a Kortana of my own....why do I keep finding the over confident and the self conscious?



i have been called narcissistic.
and its AMAtrix...which is latin for mistress, like a girlfriend.:happy:

i do feel your pain.
everything happens or doesnt happen for a reason though. keep your chin up.
but i admit i wish i had a Kortana...:happy:
just kidding chick, your a cutie.




Ted Michael Morgan said:


> I lived in New Orleans for 12 years and now live near a famous Louisiana restaurant, but I am looking for another part-time job. But I agree with you--eating is the means to the end. I lovr sushi and Taco Bell. :eat1::blush:



i normally dont like taco bell, and sushi is a special treat for me. when i go to see my BF.
which famous restaurant do you live by?
i have always wanted to see the french quarter, and have real gumbo.



Ted Michael Morgan said:


> I agree with you. In Louisiana, we can and do enjoy all sort of eating. Red beans and rice is the starting place. I love sushi. I love poor boys and fried oysters. :eat1: :eat2:



yumm fried oysters!
isnt a poor boy just a sandwhich?
like on a poor boy roll?


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## Kortana (Jul 2, 2008)

HollyGirl said:


> ****Raises hand****
> 
> I dont have a boyfriend!!




HollyGirl meet KHayes, Khayes this is Hollygirl.


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## Kortana (Jul 2, 2008)

Amatrix said:


> i truly agree with this.
> such an intimate activity like stuffing or feeding is much more enjoyable in a private area, where you can focus on the other person, the food and things like that.
> 
> i once stuffed with sushi with my BF and there were all these loud college students-
> ...




****BATS EYES AT AMATRIX****


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## Amatrix (Jul 2, 2008)

Kortana said:


> ****BATS EYES AT AMATRIX****



hey... how YOU doing?

this was a very brassy post.most people arent going to go there... for their own reasons.
kudos for opening up about it.
hope to hear about you gaining, losing, or whatever you chose to do cuppycake.

nice slip in hook up with Holly girl and Khayes.
:happy:


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## Kortana (Jul 2, 2008)

Oh well, if people don't to talk about it then I will use this post to hook up Khayes with available chickies...LOL

I would consider myself a passive gainer; I will eat what I want and if I gain weight, so be it. I am sure my BF can find something to do with it. LOL


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## Amatrix (Jul 2, 2008)

Kortana said:


> Oh well, if people don't to talk about it then I will use this post to hook up Khayes with available chickies...LOL
> 
> I would consider myself a passive gainer; I will eat what I want and if I gain weight, so be it. I am sure my BF can find something to do with it. LOL



lol! thats how i started too. i was passive in the whole if i lose, or gain... whatever.

no matter what- your perfect just how you are. you have an awesome attitude, and a killer bum.

your BF sounds purely awesome.

who else is single... Khayes has time for the ladies.


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## Kortana (Jul 2, 2008)

Amatrix said:


> lol! thats how i started too. i was passive in the whole if i lose, or gain... whatever.
> 
> no matter what- your perfect just how you are. you have an awesome attitude, and a killer bum.
> 
> ...



I officially have a crush on you. :smitten:

My bum is killer, meaning if I sit on you- you dead. LOL


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## Amatrix (Jul 2, 2008)

Kortana said:


> I officially have a crush on you. :smitten:
> 
> My bum is killer, meaning if I sit on you- you dead. LOL



i officially am crushing on you as well...
meaning if i hugged you i might squeeze the life outa ya.

big butts make the world go around darling.


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## Kortana (Jul 2, 2008)

Amatrix said:


> i officially am crushing on you as well...
> meaning if i hugged you i might squeeze the life outa ya.
> 
> big butts make the world go around darling.



Yes, yes they do!

Ya, I am excited my first diensions girl crush. 

So where is KHayes, aren;t we trying to set him up>?


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## largenlovely (Jul 2, 2008)

i love that term!!! passive gainer hehe...that's too cute. I suppose that might be what i am...just ...whatever lol..and if there's more of it, well...we have fun with it lol

*edit* though i must admit...that since my belly has gotten bigger it has been lots MORE fun lol



Kortana said:


> I would consider myself a passive gainer; I will eat what I want and if I gain weight, so be it. I am sure my BF can find something to do with it. LOL


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## Kortana (Jul 2, 2008)

largenlovely said:


> i love that term!!! passive gainer hehe...that's too cute. I suppose that might be what i am...just ...whatever lol..and if there's more of it, well...we have fun with it lol
> 
> *edit* though i must admit...that since my belly has gotten bigger it has been lots MORE fun lol



Same here!!!

So we can call it passive agressive gainer. Passive some days and agressive on others.

LOL


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## largenlovely (Jul 2, 2008)

you just got rep for the new term lol

now...i gotta go aggressively find me some food since y'all have made me hungry lol



Kortana said:


> Same here!!!
> 
> So we can call it passive agressive gainer. Passive some days and agressive on others.
> 
> LOL


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## Amatrix (Jul 3, 2008)

Kortana said:


> Yes, yes they do!
> 
> Ya, I am excited my first diensions girl crush.
> 
> So where is KHayes, aren;t we trying to set him up>?



ahahah the pleasure is mine...
hes probably waiting to like jump in later... and see how many responses he gets...


new termz rock.you rule.


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## KHayes666 (Jul 3, 2008)

Amatrix said:


> ahahah the pleasure is mine...
> hes probably waiting to like jump in later... and see how many responses he gets...
> 
> 
> new termz rock.you rule.



There won't be any responses, but I am flattered you two tried

*hugs Kortana and Amatrix*

you're the best


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## Amatrix (Jul 3, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> There won't be any responses, but I am flattered you two tried
> 
> *hugs Kortana and Amatrix*
> 
> you're the best



trying....


lol
we think your a catch. we want someone to keep you because well i cant.
:happy:


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## KHayes666 (Jul 3, 2008)

Amatrix said:


> trying....
> 
> 
> lol
> ...



There isn't anyone, I keep telling you.

The good ones are already taken, there's no one left who are like the positive women on dimensions....in my area at least.

Its either go back to Mantra or lower my standards and go out with a girl who will freak out if I say she looks good


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## Amatrix (Jul 4, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> There isn't anyone, I keep telling you.
> 
> The good ones are already taken, there's no one left who are like the positive women on dimensions....in my area at least.
> 
> Its either go back to Mantra or lower my standards and go out with a girl who will freak out if I say she looks good



whats mantra?
you keep talking about that....

and sometimes a girl will freak out like that because she wants to believe it as bad as you do, or because she thinks she is supposed to say that back- taking compliments went out a long time ago, or she is so astounded she doesnt know what to say back.:doh:


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## Kortana (Jul 4, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> There isn't anyone, I keep telling you.
> 
> The good ones are already taken, there's no one left who are like the positive women on dimensions....in my area at least.
> 
> Its either go back to Mantra or lower my standards and go out with a girl who will freak out if I say she looks good



I hate to bring age into it because I know there are alot of younger women on this board that are confident and happy to be big girls but I know I wasn't so in my early twenties ( I am 31). To be honest I think its harder to meet younger women who will be as confident with their weight. Learning to love your body is a process and I am sure as you get older you will begin to meet more women who have grown into their self confidence. And don't back down from what you want, settling is the worst thing you can do. It leads to unhappiness and regret and no one wants that!!!


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## Amatrix (Jul 4, 2008)

Kortana said:


> I hate to bring age into it because I know there are alot of younger women on this board that are confident and happy to be big girls but I know I wasn't so in my early twenties ( I am 31). To be honest I think its harder to meet younger women who will be as confident with their weight. Learning to love your body is a process and I am sure as you get older you will begin to meet more women who have grown into their self confidence. And don't back down from what you want, settling is the worst thing you can do. It leads to unhappiness and regret and no one wants that!!!



i hope im half as smart and sexy as you are when im 31.
d-zam.
mad props.:bow:


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## Kortana (Jul 4, 2008)

Amatrix said:


> i hope im half as smart and sexy as you are when im 31.
> d-zam.
> mad props.:bow:



You're my favorite!!!

:wubu:


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## KHayes666 (Jul 4, 2008)

Amatrix said:


> whats mantra?
> you keep talking about that....
> 
> and sometimes a girl will freak out like that because she wants to believe it as bad as you do, or because she thinks she is supposed to say that back- taking compliments went out a long time ago, or she is so astounded she doesnt know what to say back.:doh:



Club Mantra is a dance club in Boston that's being promoted by an ex friend of mine. We had a falling out last November but before that we were inserperable. There was a time when I would go directly from the beach or Water Country in NH straight to Mantra or my perennial favorite, Mac's Two Lounge. From the summer of 06 to the fall of 07 I was pretty much with a group of friends from high school and their college buddies, and we were into parties, dance clubs, strip clubs, you name it we were there.

Last fall he and I had a falling out and the whole crowd followed him and I was left all by myself. Took me a while to get my bearings but when the dust settled it was a new year and I began coming back to dimensions. The girls I had dated while with the popular clique were normal girls, some fat girls but mostly your normal girls. What I could truly be happy with, I wasn't getting from them, but for reasons I really can't get into here. It wasn't until I was convinced by my great friend Lilly to go to a BBW Dance that the rest is history.

If I haven't put you to sleep yet with the story, the previous posts basically meant I'm frustrated to the point where the kind of girls I want (confident, happy, growing, open to anything) are an "impossible dream" according to one of my friends, so maybe I should call up my former crew and see if I could come back.


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## Amatrix (Jul 6, 2008)

well there is nothing wrong with making friends or rekindling old friendships...

and i dont see anything wrong with a club.

i saw the pics of you at the strip club- and laughed so hard when i saw those comments those girls left you-
"so you dont like fat chicks?"
like... your only allowed to like fat chicks... or something because we are never good enough.... 

stay away from girls like that. there is a tip for ya.
send me a pm with why you couldnt really be happy with them.

people are just different... sometimes you match with them in your wants and needs...
if it was easy... to just match and link with then i dont think it would be worth it. our differences make us interesting. if every girl was into the same things as you- well... no offense- that might be boring for everyone else.

we are young kiddo. its just how it happens.:happy:
*hugs*



KHayes666 said:


> Club Mantra is a dance club in Boston that's being promoted by an ex friend of mine. We had a falling out last November but before that we were inserperable. There was a time when I would go directly from the beach or Water Country in NH straight to Mantra or my perennial favorite, Mac's Two Lounge. From the summer of 06 to the fall of 07 I was pretty much with a group of friends from high school and their college buddies, and we were into parties, dance clubs, strip clubs, you name it we were there.
> 
> Last fall he and I had a falling out and the whole crowd followed him and I was left all by myself. Took me a while to get my bearings but when the dust settled it was a new year and I began coming back to dimensions. The girls I had dated while with the popular clique were normal girls, some fat girls but mostly your normal girls. What I could truly be happy with, I wasn't getting from them, but for reasons I really can't get into here. It wasn't until I was convinced by my great friend Lilly to go to a BBW Dance that the rest is history.
> 
> If I haven't put you to sleep yet with the story, the previous posts basically meant I'm frustrated to the point where the kind of girls I want (confident, happy, growing, open to anything) are an "impossible dream" according to one of my friends, so maybe I should call up my former crew and see if I could come back.


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## Allie Cat (Jul 6, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> The good ones are already taken, there's no one left who are like the positive women on dimensions....in my area at least.



Yup, that's how it seems to happen... then you meet someone awesome and she's in another state, or another country


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## KHayes666 (Jul 7, 2008)

Amatrix said:


> well there is nothing wrong with making friends or rekindling old friendships...
> 
> and i dont see anything wrong with a club.
> 
> ...



PM me with what exactly do you want to know about me and the girls


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## fatgirl33 (Jul 7, 2008)

What an excellent thread, I can't believe I hadn't found it until now...



Kortana said:


> Before I met my boyfriend "in person" he told me about his fetish. I was horrified, I even thought about not meeting him. I couldn't understand why ANYONE would want to see a woman gain, I had spent my whole life trying to lose.



I think you hit the nail on the head in this one sentence. In terms of general size acceptance (or acceptance of anything, really), the biggest challenge we all have is getting out of ourselves, shrugging off the "programming" we've been getting since birth (parents ideals, prevalent cultural stereotypes, popular opinion, etc.) and realize that there are people out there who value EVERYTHING. Just because we don't necessarily relate doesn't mean it doesn't happen, or it's wrong, or it's not right for someone, somewhere else.

I think the feeder/feedee relationship still carries a lot of stigma in terms of the potential for participants falling into control/submission roles. Again, some people just don't understand that there are folks out there who actively seek submissive roles, particularly in their sexual relationships.

Thanks for all the thought-provoking posts guys n' gals!

Brenda


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## fatgirl33 (Jul 7, 2008)

Kortana said:


> To be honest I think its harder to meet younger women who will be as confident with their weight.



I'm not entirely sure I agree with this, but I don't have any data to support my contrary opinion... It's just that I am a little older than you, and as I travel a lot with my job I seem to have noticed a trend over the last ten years or so...

It seems to me that there are a lot more fat women (and girls) who are not afraid to be seen - unlike myself at that age - and who dress provocatively and flaunt their figures. It seems to me, as an outside observer, that there have never been more confident, sexy, fat girls out there. Maybe it's because we as a society are getting fatter as a whole so there's just more chubby folk, or maybe it's because there is a more diverse selection of role models out there for youngsters today (I can't remember there being a Mo'nique or Queen Latifah when I was growing up)?

Everyone's going to have a different experience, I just get the feeling that the averages are getting better. My hope is that in a generation these young fat kids will grow up confident enough that the whole crooked fad diet industry will die a death due to lack of demand...

Brenda


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## largenlovely (Jul 7, 2008)

I have to agree with ya there Brenda. When i was a teenager a fat person couldn't be caught dead in a bikini. One of my friends came down here recently and asked me about a fat friendly beach. I've not been to the beaches in a while, because of all the walking ..i have a bad knee. I called my sister and she said that there were tons of fat people in bikini's on this one particular beach here. She said she even felt kind of out of place (being that she's small lol). I thought that was so awesome...and i've definitey noticed that a lot of the younger girls are more confident in letting their belly rolls hang out from under their shirts. It's a fat girl revolution i think  hehe.. and waaaaaaaay overdue. I'm so glad to see progress.



fatgirl33 said:


> It seems to me that there are a lot more fat women (and girls) who are not afraid to be seen - unlike myself at that age - and who dress provocatively and flaunt their figures. It seems to me, as an outside observer, that there have never been more confident, sexy, fat girls out there. Maybe it's because we as a society are getting fatter as a whole so there's just more chubby folk, or maybe it's because there is a more diverse selection of role models out there for youngsters today (I can't remember there being a Mo'nique or Queen Latifah when I was growing up)?


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## goofy girl (Jul 7, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> Why does every single feedee/foodee/gainer/bbw that loves food/etc....have a boyfriend and I'm stuck with the self conscious fat girls that hate how they look?
> 
> *looks down* That wasn't our deal, Satan...dammit! lol :doh:



Stuck with them?? LOL Nobody is holding a gun to your head during a date, and maybe they haven't had positive people around them to help give them confidence...probably just guys that they feel are "stuck with" them, which sure doesn't help them like themselves any.


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## bmann0413 (Jul 7, 2008)

Well, I honestly don't think I have feeder tendencies. I like a girl no matter what size she is. If she might look like she could look better with a few extra pounds, I think it to myself, not say it aloud. That's her body, and if she wants to get a bit more curvier, then I won't judge. If she wants to lose weight, I won't judge that either. If she wants to stay the same size, be my guest. You are perfect in any shape or size. Some FAs just need to accept that and stop trying to change girls for _THEIR_ benefit.


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## KHayes666 (Jul 7, 2008)

goofy girl said:


> Stuck with them?? LOL Nobody is holding a gun to your head during a date, and maybe they haven't had positive people around them to help give them confidence...probably just guys that they feel are "stuck with" them, which sure doesn't help them like themselves any.



Of course nobody is holding a gun to my head. I was on a date with a girl who hated how she looked and hated it when I complimented her. No, I didn't say things like "I'd like i if you got fatter" or "I like how fat you are" I said things like "you're really pretty" and "You're fine just the way you are". Some girls have just been too much negativity in their lives, you can't save them. I already in another post told the story how I went on a date with a different girl who teased me and then later on that night basically claimed I raped her. 

I do feel I have been "stuck with" some bad dates, hence my frustration. With all the good ones taken (Asshley, Melissa, Goofy, Amatrix, Bexy, Kortana, and on and on and on) or across the atlantic ocean (Jen, Naiomi, Sigrid) I have to take risks to find someone worthwhile, and so far its given me nothing but headaches.

And I still keep hearing "If only you were older".....


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## Waxwing (Jul 7, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> There isn't anyone, I keep telling you.
> 
> The good ones are already taken, there's no one left who are like the positive women on dimensions....in my area at least.
> 
> Its either go back to Mantra or lower my standards and go out with a girl who will freak out if I say she looks good



Yeah, but a lot of us feel that way. Regardless of body size or sense of self, there are many MANY people who are frustrated and unsure that they will ever find someone.

I know it sucks, but you don't have to feel alone in this. It's not just a BBW/FA issue. It's a human issue.


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## KHayes666 (Jul 7, 2008)

Waxwing said:


> Yeah, but a lot of us feel that way. Regardless of body size or sense of self, there are many MANY people who are frustrated and unsure that they will ever find someone.
> 
> I know it sucks, but you don't have to feel alone in this. It's not just a BBW/FA issue. It's a human issue.



Well how did a hot girl like you find your current b/f? Or shall I ask how he found you? Some guys are just more lucky than I am lol


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## Waxwing (Jul 7, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> Well how did a hot girl like you find your current b/f? Or shall I ask how he found you? Some guys are just more lucky than I am lol



My good sir, if I had a boyfriend I would gladly answer that question.


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## KHayes666 (Jul 7, 2008)

Waxwing said:


> My good sir, if I had a boyfriend I would gladly answer that question.



I thought you did......I'm shocked.


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## Waxwing (Jul 7, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> I thought you did......I'm shocked.



No, sir. I have wedding plans with Soup and AFG, though.


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## KHayes666 (Jul 7, 2008)

Waxwing said:


> No, sir. I have wedding plans with Soup and AFG, though.



uh oh.....*runs away*


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## Kortana (Jul 7, 2008)

fatgirl33 said:


> I'm not entirely sure I agree with this, but I don't have any data to support my contrary opinion... It's just that I am a little older than you, and as I travel a lot with my job I seem to have noticed a trend over the last ten years or so...
> 
> It seems to me that there are a lot more fat women (and girls) who are not afraid to be seen - unlike myself at that age - and who dress provocatively and flaunt their figures. It seems to me, as an outside observer, that there have never been more confident, sexy, fat girls out there. Maybe it's because we as a society are getting fatter as a whole so there's just more chubby folk, or maybe it's because there is a more diverse selection of role models out there for youngsters today (I can't remember there being a Mo'nique or Queen Latifah when I was growing up)?
> 
> ...



Brenda, I completly agree with you but just because the younger ones are now prancing around feeling more secure in Bikinis and more revealing clothes does not necessarily mean they ok with being overweight. Everyone, I feel, tends to protect how they feel inside. It takes time and maturity to really be one with who you are.

But I agree, its great that more and more younger women are embarking on the it's ok to be fat train!!


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## Kortana (Jul 7, 2008)

bmann0413 said:


> Well, I honestly don't think I have feeder tendencies. I like a girl no matter what size she is. If she might look like she could look better with a few extra pounds, I think it to myself, not say it aloud. That's her body, and if she wants to get a bit more curvier, then I won't judge. If she wants to lose weight, I won't judge that either. If she wants to stay the same size, be my guest. You are perfect in any shape or size. Some FAs just need to accept that and stop trying to change girls for _THEIR_ benefit.




Bringing to back on the topic at hand.

If that is how you trully feel then that is great. The point I was trying to make is that I find many (not all!) FAs look down on feeders and put them into a whole seperate catagory-yet they could easily be considered enablers- which for some reason keeps them outside of the feeder catergory- when in really it is much closer than they think.


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## bmann0413 (Jul 11, 2008)

Kortana said:


> Bringing to back on the topic at hand.
> 
> If that is how you trully feel then that is great. The point I was trying to make is that I find many (not all!) FAs look down on feeders and put them into a whole seperate catagory-yet they could easily be considered enablers- which for some reason keeps them outside of the feeder catergory- when in really it is much closer than they think.



Oh, I see what you mean. Well, like I said, it's not right to make them gain weight for their benefit, but if the girl purposely wants to become a feedee, then there's nothing wrong with that.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I (somewhat) look down on the _selfish_, only-thinking-of-themselves feeders. The feeders who help the feedee girl gain because SHE wants to, I have no problem with. So I'm kinda mixed on that... lol


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