# Wht do I hafta explain myself???



## biggirlsrock (Jul 6, 2013)

So I'm out with some friends. A smokin' SSBBW walks by, and one of my friends jokingly asks if she's big enough for me. Now I've known these guys all my life & they know I don't do skinny. A guy I don't really know, (a buddy of a buddy) who happened to be there now starts grilling me about liking fat girls. He's fucking relentless about it, and I'm starting to get annoyed. Why do I hafta explain my preference to this dipshit? I wanted to punch him in the fuckin' mouth, but ended up leaving. Next day my buddy called to apologize for asshole's behavior, which was cool, however, the taste in my mouth is still sour. Fuck you Society!!!


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## gangstadawg (Jul 7, 2013)

biggirlsrock said:


> So I'm out with some friends. A smokin' SSBBW walks by, and one of my friends jokingly asks if she's big enough for me. Now I've known these guys all my life & they know I don't do skinny. A guy I don't really know, (a buddy of a buddy) who happened to be there now starts grilling me about liking fat girls. He's fucking relentless about it, and I'm starting to get annoyed. Why do I hafta explain my preference to this dipshit? I wanted to punch him in the fuckin' mouth, but ended up leaving. Next day my buddy called to apologize for asshole's behavior, which was cool, however, the taste in my mouth is still sour. Fuck you Society!!!



I have dealt with something similar with the whole friend of a friend thing. the guy was talking shit about me talking about only broke guys and go out with fat women yet this guy openly dates hood rats and ratchet ass women.


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## superodalisque (Jul 7, 2013)

i like the walking off part. y'all don't have to explain anything.  the same weak guys who try to push you like that are the same ones who want to talk to us off the books. keep being who you are. they just wish they were you most of the time. ask them why they are so afraid of big girls turn the tables.


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## Zoom (Jul 7, 2013)

I agree completely. One shouldn't have to explain oneself to others.

With me, it's not just about size preference, but also religious beliefs and personal philosophies that get tossed around.

I also don't *DO* fist bumps, mainly because I don't agree with the other guy on something being "cool".

The world is full of disrespect and trolling. Luckily FAs seem to learn how to deal with it more, since their own perceptions in beauty are challenged daily by society from the git-go. (And I wish the gits _would_ go.)


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## superodalisque (Jul 7, 2013)

Zoom said:


> I agree completely. One shouldn't have to explain oneself to others.
> 
> With me, it's not just about size preference, but also religious beliefs and personal philosophies that get tossed around.
> 
> ...



it might help though to realize it's not ALL of society. remember that most men's S/Os are "overweight"


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## Morganer (Jul 8, 2013)

biggirlsrock said:


> So I'm out with some friends. A smokin' SSBBW walks by, and one of my friends jokingly asks if she's big enough for me. Now I've known these guys all my life & they know I don't do skinny. A guy I don't really know, (a buddy of a buddy) who happened to be there now starts grilling me about liking fat girls. He's fucking relentless about it, and I'm starting to get annoyed. Why do I hafta explain my preference to this dipshit? I wanted to punch him in the fuckin' mouth, but ended up leaving. Next day my buddy called to apologize for asshole's behavior, which was cool, however, the taste in my mouth is still sour. Fuck you Society!!!





gangstadawg said:


> I have dealt with something similar with the whole friend of a friend thing. the guy was talking shit about me talking about only broke guys and go out with fat women yet this guy openly dates hood rats and ratchet ass women.



I think the people that say these things are on some kind of Shallow Hal quest for redemption.

Judge an SSBBW/BBW/anyone based on personality, not physique.


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## superodalisque (Jul 8, 2013)

Morganer said:


> I think the people that say these things are on some kind of Shallow Hal quest for redemption.
> 
> Judge an SSBBW/BBW/anyone based on personality, not physique.



it could be an age thing. i think when many people are younger both male and female, they tend to look to other people a lot for approval of their partners. but whatever it is life is a journey and they are on it and not in the closet and expecting fat girls to hide in there with them.


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## biggirlsrock (Jul 9, 2013)

superodalisque said:


> it could be an age thing. i think when many people are younger both male and female, they tend to look to other people a lot for approval of their partners. but whatever it is life is a journey and they are on it and not in the closet and expecting fat girls to hide in there with them.



Personally, I don't care what anyone thinks, and don't understand why some people need approval of others. If I feel someone is right for me, then guess what? It doesn't matter what my parents, siblings, friends, or even Aunt Sally thinks. As long as* I* am happy, *THAT* is what truly matters.


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## mango (Jul 9, 2013)

biggirlsrock said:


> So I'm out with some friends. A smokin' SSBBW walks by, and one of my friends jokingly asks if she's big enough for me. Now I've known these guys all my life & they know I don't do skinny. A guy I don't really know, (a buddy of a buddy) who happened to be there now starts grilling me about liking fat girls. He's fucking relentless about it, and I'm starting to get annoyed. Why do I hafta explain my preference to this dipshit? I wanted to punch him in the fuckin' mouth, but ended up leaving. Next day my buddy called to apologize for asshole's behavior, which was cool, however, the taste in my mouth is still sour. Fuck you Society!!!



*Kudos for walking away and not escalating the situation. I'm sure your friend set the record straight with him.

If it were me, I would've walked off in the same direction as the smokin' SSBBW.


*


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## ScreamingChicken (Jul 9, 2013)

And people wonder why I have so few male friends. Luckily, the few that I do have respect me enough not be an ass about my preferences and I reciprocate in kind.


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## Frogman (Jul 9, 2013)

Congrats on doing the smart thing and removing yourself from the stream of hurtful, insulting, personal, childish verbal diarrhea this joker was spewing all over you. You can't engage people like that who have crossed the line -- it's like fighting fire with fire (or gasoline). Best to just walk away and leave them to level their pathetic narrow-mindedness at the next guy, who might not be so friendly.


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## landshark (Jul 12, 2013)

Your buddy's buddy has issues. You are happy enough and secure enough to appreciate something that is not in keeping with the mainstream and he is not secure enough as a man to accept this. Good on you for walking away, good on your buddy for apologizing.


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## Morganer (Jul 16, 2013)

biggirlsrock said:


> So I'm out with some friends. A smokin' SSBBW walks by, and one of my friends jokingly asks if she's big enough for me. Now I've known these guys all my life & they know I don't do skinny. A guy I don't really know, (a buddy of a buddy) who happened to be there now starts grilling me about liking fat girls. He's fucking relentless about it, and I'm starting to get annoyed. Why do I hafta explain my preference to this dipshit? I wanted to punch him in the fuckin' mouth, but ended up leaving. Next day my buddy called to apologize for asshole's behavior, which was cool, however, the taste in my mouth is still sour. Fuck you Society!!!



This is a large part of the reason I have mostly quit talking to people altogether. You let on, or even HINT that you like someone any bigger than 200lbs (these people are so shallow they even think that 160-ish is "big," what is wrong with them, true story) ... and you get side-eyed and there is the undertone of the 'weirdo" in the group. And when what they call "smokin' hot" little skinny foreign go-go dancer types come up, and you are as disinterested in them as my cat is in a piece of lettuce..... You ultimately leave the experience as "Is this group my type?"

For me, I like to be highly selective about my friends, and it is an eclectic mix, for sure.

Much like the old stereotype of guys that drive big, expensive cars are "compensating" (many flaws with this,) the _real_ compensating occurs when a woman that could overwhelm them with strength/size/weight, be it erotically or just plain old in a fight (ever seen an SSBBW get mad? People can't hold them back! AND they are stronger than everyone else. To the right set of eyes, nothing is more satisfying) is threatening to the machismo, and instantly needs to be put down. (I got news for you: SSBBWs are stronger than the types that hit the gym 5 or more days a week. FACT. Weight overcomes muscle, quite easily, too.) 

And insecure guys like that... can go buy their Playboy and look at all the hot, smaller, women.

Also, OP, was your friend drunk? Drunks tend to fixate. I have had this happen. A drunk speaks a sober mind... I've had people get it in their drunk mind "Hey, i wanna fight" and one awkward eyeball of a hard stare from a drunk, and sure enough, within two minutes comes the swing, as they stumble.. Sad thing, alcohol.


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## Surlysomething (Jul 16, 2013)

You don't have to explain anything.

Ever.


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## DKnight00 (Jul 21, 2013)

Surlysomething said:


> You don't have to explain anything.
> 
> Ever.



This. I hate being on the defensive about trivial things, which is why I'm selective of who I hang out with. A few co workers of mine believe any woman over 130 is fat. It's ridiculous. Luckily the majority of men I work with, or have worked with in the past seem to be much more logical about it. I feel it's ass shats like that, that continue to make women have eating disorders/emotional woes etc. Especially since they are usually the loudest, immature of the bunch.

You like what you like that's all there is to it.


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## Nordiques (Jul 21, 2013)

It is so bizarre how we have had our whole lives to figure out that different people like different things for different reasons, and we still can't deal with that. When I see difference, I am curious to explore it, to learn perspectives. Others are just keen to judge, and that's a shame. There's nothing to be learned from that.


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## liz (di-va) (Jul 24, 2013)

biggirlsrock said:


> So I'm out with some friends. A smokin' SSBBW walks by, and one of my friends jokingly asks if she's big enough for me. Now I've known these guys all my life & they know I don't do skinny. A guy I don't really know, (a buddy of a buddy) who happened to be there now starts grilling me about liking fat girls. He's fucking relentless about it, and I'm starting to get annoyed. Why do I hafta explain my preference to this dipshit? I wanted to punch him in the fuckin' mouth, but ended up leaving. Next day my buddy called to apologize for asshole's behavior, which was cool, however, the taste in my mouth is still sour. Fuck you Society!!!



vent away!


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## missyj1978 (Jul 24, 2013)

Honestly some men still seem to think like that and its a damn shame I tell ya. I was out with some friends and a guy sent me over a drink and then came up to talk to me and his friend, right in front of me have you, says "yeah I guess she is cute but damn is she big!"
I mean REALLY?!? RUDE! The other guy was was telling me how sorry he was for his drunk friends unkind words. I wanted to slap the crap out of that guy, but I am a lady and what difference would that make. Not my fault he dont like curves, he is really missing out


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## ODFFA (Jul 24, 2013)

I posted something on dims a little while back about someone finding out (not through me) that I'm an FFA. Shes a good friend of mine so, while I truly didn't mind her knowing, I was still relatively nervous about the prospect.

We talked about it again once thereafter, which solidified my approach to these things. Im open about what I like and why. If people (like said friend) seem kind of open, and even a tiny bit interested despite some scepticism, I explain. This went really well for me with her that time. It might actually have made her think a bit and gain, perhaps, the slightest sliver of understanding that attractions can/may/should and do differ.

That said, Im totally with Surly too. I dont _owe_ anyone any explanations. And I dont waste them on people that are only interested in telling me who I should be and what I should like. They need to get over themselves, and Im happy to get out of their way and leave them to it :happy:


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## BigCutie Ellie (Jul 25, 2013)

biggirlsrock said:


> So I'm out with some friends. A smokin' SSBBW walks by, and one of my friends jokingly asks if she's big enough for me. Now I've known these guys all my life & they know I don't do skinny. A guy I don't really know, (a buddy of a buddy) who happened to be there now starts grilling me about liking fat girls. He's fucking relentless about it, and I'm starting to get annoyed. Why do I hafta explain my preference to this dipshit? I wanted to punch him in the fuckin' mouth, but ended up leaving. Next day my buddy called to apologize for asshole's behavior, which was cool, however, the taste in my mouth is still sour. Fuck you Society!!!



You should not have to explain yourself, it sucks that society has to question our tastes and what we like. I agree with you Fuck You Society!! Kudos to you for walking away and standing up for what you believe in!


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## mediaboy (Jul 29, 2013)

Dont get mad, get super serious.

I usually express my love for large ladies as a pure animal lust and then use over tones of "I break the kind of women you fuck with my dick/manliness" all while implying that my inquisitor is actually suffering from some sort of malformed desire to fuck underage children who lack the essential qualities of what a woman has from a physical POV.


Also, dont take any shit. Ignrance is ignorance but insolance is fruit and cake.


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## DKnight00 (Jul 29, 2013)

mediaboy said:


> Dont get mad, get super serious.
> 
> I usually express my love for large ladies as a pure animal lust and then use over tones of "I break the kind of women you fuck with my dick/manliness" all while implying that my inquisitor is actually suffering from some sort of malformed desire to fuck underage children who lack the essential qualities of what a woman has from a physical POV.
> 
> ...



Hahaha !! This !!!

I hate doing this, but in a situation like that, this could always be a great comeback. Anything to make them look inferior to you always works best to me.


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## Kenster102.5 (Aug 6, 2013)

When it comes to my friends and whoever asks about why I think bigger women are attractive I just narrow it down to one explanation. I say it looks more feminine and more healthy with the extra weight, and I don't want to get the feeling I am dating myself or a mannequin. I am a thin guy myself, so they understand where I am coming from with the "dating myself" explanation.

If the dudes aren't cool with it, I just shutup and leave or might ask them why are you so interested, dude do you want to date me or something?


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## jade_andy (Aug 6, 2013)

biggirlsrock said:


> So I'm out with some friends. A smokin' SSBBW walks by, and one of my friends jokingly asks if she's big enough for me. Now I've known these guys all my life & they know I don't do skinny. A guy I don't really know, (a buddy of a buddy) who happened to be there now starts grilling me about liking fat girls. He's fucking relentless about it, and I'm starting to get annoyed. Why do I hafta explain my preference to this dipshit? I wanted to punch him in the fuckin' mouth, but ended up leaving. Next day my buddy called to apologize for asshole's behavior, which was cool, however, the taste in my mouth is still sour. Fuck you Society!!!



I wouldn't worry about it. the guy just a prick. Everyone has their own in want is attractive. He just an up himself prick that thinks he knows better.
I've chatted to guys that why i find average guys and BHMs attractive. that attitude i find unattractive the most.


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## hots_towel (Aug 10, 2013)

im still, to some degree, a closet FA. my friends know i like bigger women. they dont know however that ive found women that have been on TV for being so incredibly large attractive. 

i realize that they are my friends and i should be able to be as open with them as i would my own family, but even as a tease, its something id rather not put up with.


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## wrestlingguy (Aug 14, 2013)

hots_towel said:


> ...but even as a tease, its something id rather not put up with.



I don't know anyone who "wants" to put up with it. It's a pain in the ass to have to explain every time why someone is attracted to someone who's fat. 

Here's why I take the time.

Some people genuinely don't understand the attraction, not based on prejudice or fat hate, but simply because they aren't predisposed to the same attraction we have. I take the time to explain so the don't think it's because I lack confidence, or think fat chicks are easier to get in bed, or any other stereotype they may have.

I also address the douchenozzles like the one mentioned in the original post. I've had friends of friends do the same thing, and while one of the options is to just punch them out, the better option for me is to explain my feelings for the sake of my friend, and then mention to him that if the other guy is somehow judging me, he's likely going to be judged as well, and while it may not be for liking fat girls, it's going to be for something else, and he may want to reconsider the friendship. A good friend of mine actually did just that after one of my talks about it, so I know there's some value to that, from personal experience.

I don't expect everyone to feel the same obligation to move fat/size acceptance forward like I do, but I think every time we give a simple explanation about the attraction, or why body diversity is good, or why fat hate & prejudice is wrong, we win the battle just a little bit.


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## LisaInNC (Aug 15, 2013)

Haha This reminds me of a time when this guy said in front of me, "Ew I would NEVER date a fat girl!" to which I replied, "EW! What in the hell makes you think a fat girl would want to date YOU?" His buddies cracked up


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## ODFFA (Aug 15, 2013)

LisaInNC said:


> Haha This reminds me of a time when this guy said in front of me, "Ew I would NEVER date a fat girl!" to which I replied, "EW! What in the hell makes you think a fat girl would want to date YOU?" His buddies cracked up



This makes me happy  It's never happened to me before, but I have a very similar answer ready in the event that my preferences are ever questioned nastily. I'll admit I've had many fantasies about exactly what I would say.


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## snuggletiger (Aug 15, 2013)

I guess I am just too unapologetic about things in general that people don't criticize me for my appreciation for bbw/ssbbw.


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## ClashCityRocker (Aug 18, 2013)

been there, dude. and it's a shitty situation, but if people scrutinize that hard and really arent open to other perspectives, i think it's appropriate to pick them apart. question the fact that they're questioning so much, shake the foundations of their argument and watch narrow-minded ppl like that clam up REAL quick.


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## landshark (Aug 19, 2013)

LisaInNC said:


> Haha This reminds me of a time when this guy said in front of me, "Ew I would NEVER date a fat girl!" to which I replied, "EW! What in the hell makes you think a fat girl would want to date YOU?" His buddies cracked up



Well done!


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## reuben6380 (Aug 21, 2013)

Yeah the buddy that brings "that" friend, we have all been there. I used to work with a gentleman who spent a night in jail and was court ordered an anger-management class because he clocked some scrub that made a remark about his wife's weight when they were at a concert. Some times a think the world needs a lil less peace n'love and a few more black eyes, lol.


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