# How did you respond when health issues arose?



## kgainer (Feb 8, 2019)

When I started gaining serious weight I promised myself that I would stop or even start to lose weight when my obesity started seriously to affect my health. Once I was in the morbidly obese category I had periodic skin sores in the folds of my flesh, prominent stretch marks of course, and joint pains. But I thought that these were just normal for someone of my size. Then my sleep started to be disturbed as I developed sleep apnea. This was the first important test. Would I now moderate my liefstyle as I had promised to do only a few years before? Oh no! Soon to be installed by my bedside was a CPAP machine and mask. At first I found it uncomfortable but I soon became dependent on a mask to sleep normally and I take it wherever I go.

It was the first piece of equipment on which I had become reliant but I drew the line on filling my house the special bariatric equipment. That would be just too shaming.

Unsurprisingly, given my weight, I developed high blood pressure and high colestrol and was put on medication to control it. Previously I had been in dread of having to be dependent on medication for the rest of my life, particularly someone who was still in his mid-twenties. When the situation actually arose it did not bother me at all. So I have to take a few pills every day. Not a big deal.

Then the joint pain became worse and it was clear that I had developed osteoarthritis in my knees. Shedding some pounds would obviously have helped but I take anti-inflamatories instead and my weight continues to rise.

Even with the medication pain in my knees and starting in my hips and back have definitely slowed me down and I walk much shorter distances and take a car, escalator or lift whenever I can.

What I had not appreciated that obesity affects both the production of testosterone and the circulation. You've guessed it...I now find it difficult to become erect and to maintain an erection which is a real bore. I have used a pump and medications but I would have preferred not have to resort to them. Without them I am just flacid.

What I thought that I would resist I gave in to. I now have various pieces of equipment or furniture designed for the obese. Equipment like a long handled grabber to pick things off the floor or to help put on socks, long handled sponges for the shower and even a raised and strengthened seat on the toilet. With the sleep apnea I ordered a hospital style bed designed for a heavy occupant as I perferred having my torso raised rather that lying flat. Since then I have bought a recliner and dinning chairs which can take my weight. So another resolution has come to nothing.

I have high blood sugar and am classed as pre-diabetic. Unless I radically change my ways, Type 2 diabetes is an inevitability. A few years ago the prospect of diabetes would have horrified me. Now I am completely resgned io it and know when it comes I will simply take the medication and try to contro; it as best I can. Indeed what I have read is that with discipline you can control it.

In writing, I just wondered if others have had the same acceptance to the predictable consequences of obesity as I have had. It seems that it is just part and parcel of who I am and I am happy now to accept, in fact almost embrace, it.


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## beach (Feb 9, 2019)

I developed high blood pressure and high cholesterol too. I can barely reach over to trim my toenails brcause my belly is so big. I walk less and less due to hip pain and I huff and puff going up the few stairs I can’t avoid. My doctor assumes I have sleep apnea because of my size, which I do not have...yet.


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## Happy fat lover (Feb 9, 2019)

While researching my desire to get fat in contrast to my fitness training, I found there is a balance an staying mobile and active and strong is the key to human healthy obesity. Sumo wrestlers being the model of that concept. Genetics factor in Move and eat. Or be eaten?


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## Jay78 (Feb 9, 2019)

I’m pretty sure I’m committed to embarking on gaining weight this year. So far I haven’t stopped my self and I plan to be reasonable about it. The health consequences are a concern and I do plan to stay active to try to lessen them. I’m about 200 and want to aim for 250 to start and see how I fare. Maybe 300-350, I’m only 5’9” so I don’t know how my body will react. I do wonder if health issues will prohibit me from moving forward with my goal.


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## LarryTheNoodleGuy (Feb 11, 2019)

I developed lower back pain, which I didn't connect with my weight gain until I went to my doc and she (very nicely, no judgement) said that carrying a great deal of weight on your stomach puts a lot of strain on your lower back. I didn't try to lose any weight, just stopped wearing cowboy boots in favor of sneakers and started doing back extensions at the gym as well as going in the hot tub and the occasional hot shower at home. I also stopped walking so much! I've had little or no back pain since I started doing these remedies.


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## Tracyarts (Feb 13, 2019)

Well. I wrote this post about a half a dozen times and kept deleting it. 

Here's the deal...

I was once 540 pounds at age 32. I started to experience serious complications in multiple body systems. My lab test results and basic health screening results were extremely concerning. There were early signs of organ failure in multiple organs. Doctors were having difficulty managing my health with medications. My mobility failed. I was only able to walk about 50 feet at most. I could no longer leave the house unassisted. I was in constant chronic pain. I needed assistive devices to function independently inside my home. I was told that at the rate my health was failing I might not live to see age 40 and if I did, I would almost certainly be completely housebound by then. 

I chose to lose weight in an attempt to improve my health and mobility, extend my lifespan, regain personal independence, and improve my life quality. 

I lost a lot of fat acceptance community friends who felt that I was a traitor to the cause or that I was being deluded into self-harm by fat bigoted medical professionals. I chose to let those friends go and seek a better life without them. 

All those friends are dead now.

I am still alive (for now, knock on wood). 

I managed to get down to the 360s and fluctuate between 360-420 pounds over the past 12 years. My health stabilized and improved. My mobility improved. My life got a lot better. Even after two strokes, developing an autoimmune disease, and reaching perimenopause, I am healthier, more mobile, and feel better now at age 48 than when I was at age 32 and 540 pounds. 

I regained 60 pounds (much of it from severe edema) while taking Lyrica for neuropathy pain and started to feel a relapse in mobility loss, increase in back pain, and noticed that everything was becoming more difficult again. Bathing, dressing, caring for my feet, just rolling over in bed. I got worn out faster, out of breath more easily and just felt more bulky and ungainly. It was frightening. I was terrified of ending up back where I was in my early 30s. 

Fortunately, it was discovered that the neuropathy pain is caused by my autoimmune disease and minimizing the flare ups and inflammation minimized the frequency and duration of the nerve pain and the Lyrica is no longer needed and I am almost finished with the tapering off/withdrawal process. Most of the edema is resolved now, and the rest of the Lyrica weight will come off as I stop the drug for good.

Next I will start working towards getting below 300 pounds. As I age, especially with a brain injury and multiple chronic medical conditions (autoimmune and endocrine) I will need more and more medical care and assistance. The less I weigh, the easier it will be to manage aging in a damaged sick body.

I always made my health a priority. As much as I have control of at least. Thin, average, fat, or supersized. It never not mattered to me and I never really blew it off.


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## bubba350 (Feb 13, 2019)

Glad your feeling better. I had similar experience 425 at 40 work was getting tougher and tougher health issues really kicked in. I had the RNY surgery. Now twenty years later still fat 290 lbs still feel better than I did at 40. Now just dealing with orthopedic issues.
Just like athletics age takes toll. Super fatness is a young person thing.
Still find fat attractive so many more beautiful fat women now a days.


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## Marshmallow Minotaur (Feb 13, 2019)

I decided I’m going to gain more weight but only to a point. I’m not a big guy... 5’6” and currently 239 lbs., my belly is 51-52”. I’d like to get to maybe 245, 250, maybe even 260 and my belly 53-54”.

I was a powerlifter (amateur, gym rat) for a lot of years. I got sidelined by shoulder and back surgery... a lumbar fusion. I’m in a sort of 2 month self-imposed gym exile, but I’ll get back to it, and walking for cardio but not weight loss. Those days are gone. I’ve come to like being fat. You can definitely be fit and fat.

My family doctor and pain management doctor don’t quite agree with that, so I get static from them. I just nod my head and go “mmhmm... ah yeah, I see... uh huh I understand” then go to the diner for the Kahuna breakfast.


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## khrestel (Feb 20, 2019)

I'm an extremely kind person who feels deep emotions of responsibility and shame. My weight was monitored by specialists, school nurses etc. since the age of 6 and at around 10 they started telling what a burden I am about to become for the society. At around 14 I decided of there ever came a day I'd get sick weight relatedly the responsible thing to do would be suicide.

At 18 and around 200 lbs I decided that living a life of constant dieting just wasn't worth it. I still considered suicide as my choice if and when the day would come.

The day came at 30 and a bit under 400 lbs. I was diagnosed with diabetes and was strongly recommended to get WLS. I probably had signs of sleep apnea as well but it wasn't monitored. I had slight mobility issues but nothing major. Dunno. I felt great, I looked great and if it wasn't for this huge feeling of some sort of obligation or responsibility I would've taken my meds and kept on living.

But I had the nagging sound telling me I should do as I'd promised and end my days. I ended up saying it out loud and of course my family didn't let me, no matter how seriously I explained it was the responsible thing to do .

I was stubborn and didn't want the WLS either. I had seen how horribly wrong it could go plus I thought society shouldn't be paying for my mistakes. Secretly I was selfish and didn't want to give up my choice of freedom.

I chose going back to what I hated and what I struggled with as a child, endless diet and exercising under obligation. I lost roughly 200 lbs but of course I'm still fat if you ask any doctor. My diabetes is in remission, I have extremely slow heart rate etc. but I still get the same complaints about weight all the time. Because of that, it doesn't feel I've done anything for the better. I feel the same as I did at 18. Living a longer life doesn't feel worth it if it's this hamster wheel.

I don't really know what I'm trying to say. That I reacted with self-hatred and self-punishment?


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## Jay78 (Feb 20, 2019)

I’m no expert and have my own issues for certain. If you are working this hard to be unhappy why bother? Maybe you need to let the reigns go a bit, get new doctors and see how you feel. Your profile picture feels like that is the person you really want to be. Maybe by becoming overweight again your mental state will be healthier.


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## LizzieJones (Feb 20, 2019)

khrestel said:


> I'm an extremely kind person who feels deep emotions of responsibility and shame. My weight was monitored by specialists, school nurses etc. since the age of 6 and at around 10 they started telling what a burden I am about to become for the society. At around 14 I decided of there ever came a day I'd get sick weight relatedly the responsible thing to do would be suicide.
> 
> At 18 and around 200 lbs I decided that living a life of constant dieting just wasn't worth it. I still considered suicide as my choice if and when the day would come.
> 
> ...



I hated those damn school nurses. I always felt like they were blaming me for my weight when as a child under the age of 10 it was out of my control.


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## WALKER44 (Feb 20, 2019)

I am 72 years old I now weight 275. I reached 404 at 55. At that point I developed diabetes. I averaged around 380 from about 44yrs to 404 at 55 yrs. I also developed sleep apnea and when I reached 404 the sleep apnea was so bad I had to sleep sitting up. I also had water retention in my lower legs and dark skin on my lower legs. Oh I am 5ft 7ins. _ carry most of my weight in my upper body. My waist was 70 ins at 400 pounds. I am now losing weignt. I was 300 lbs at 71 yrs old and two doctors told me that my weight was slowly killing me. So I down to 275 and heading lower. I can now sleep In my bed. Waist measurement is 57 ins.I can now sit in a chair a tie my shoes. I eat very little. Anything I eat is health food. Nuts, berries, salads. whole grains , fish and some meat and lots of beans. The diabetes gave me neuropathy in my both feet. It comes at night as a stabbing pain every 30 seconds making it impossible to sleep. I treat it by keeping my blood sugars below 150 and by taking large amounts of b viatmins To treat the neuropathy attacks take B-12_
sublingual (under the tongue) I use 2500 mcg two or three times a day. Here is what I learned, the excess weight will kill you one way or another. Also believe on Jesus In ALL PROBLEMS.


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## loopytheone (Feb 21, 2019)

Khrestel, that sounds so much like me. I spent my childhood being constantly monitored and had suicidal thoughts about my weight. Which wasn't what anybody intended but that was the effect their words and actions had. 

I ended up going on one really intense diet in my early 20s that developed into an eating disorder. I was working out 3 hours a day, every day, and eating nothing but vegetables and water. Techinically I was never 'underweight' because of my overall build, but you see every bone in my body and I was very sick and frail. I was very ill, physically and mentally, but people kept telling me how much healthier I was and how great I was doing. 

I still got called a fatass once in the street, even at that tiny size. I kinda snapped; I'd been making myself sick and miserable for so long and it still didn't get me any reward. So now I eat whatever I want and do whatever I want and I'm twice the size I was back then. People like to tell me how unhealthy I am now, despite a lot of my issues resolving. Doesn't help that I'm disabled anyway.

I don't know what I will do if/when my weight becomes an issue to my health. Because honestly, cutting back enough to lose weight was terrible for my mental and physical health anyway. But I know I don't see the point in living a long, miserable life. I'd rather live less long and be happy. It's a compromise, as with most things. I think the best balance for most people is somewhere in the middle.


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## extra_m13 (Mar 1, 2019)

there are some really honest comments here, thanks for sharing, that side of the fetish is important as well, not only for us but for our love ones


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## JDavis (Mar 2, 2019)

I don't see my weight and my health related issues as cause and effect. I see them both as expressions of my genotype.
When I was in college I majored in Molecular Biology and worked in a lab that studied genes that controlled the shape of the fruit fly. Ever since then I have seen my shape as a mostly genetic trait.
I don't see my diseases as caused by my size. To me that is like a black person with sickle cell anemia blaming their black skin for the sickle cell anemia. Scientists know they are two genes that happen to travel together on a chromosome, but one does not cause the other.


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## FatBarbieDoll (Mar 6, 2019)

JDavis said:


> I don't see my weight and my health related issues as cause and effect. I see them both as expressions of my genotype.
> When I was in college I majored in Molecular Biology and worked in a lab that studied genes that controlled the shape of the fruit fly. Ever since then I have seen my shape as a mostly genetic trait.
> I don't see my diseases as caused by my size. To me that is like a black person with sickle cell anemia blaming their black skin for the sickle cell anemia. Scientists know they are two genes that happen to travel together on a chromosome, but one does not cause the other.



Doesn't excess weight exacerbate health problems and put people at a higher risk of getting them in the first place, though?


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## DragonFly (Mar 8, 2019)

Thank you to everyone participating in this thread. I really appreciate hearing others stories.


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## BigElectricKat (Mar 21, 2019)

For me, it was a weird journey. For a great part of my life, I was very healthy and athletic though fairly thin (maybe except for my legs which were bigger from running track and playing football). In college (the first time around), I ran into a guy I knew who had transformed his body through weight training and he suggested I come work out at his gym. So I spent a summer working out and went from 145 lbs to 166 lbs and it was solid muscle. A year later I joined the military and my weight was 176 lbs. They told me that I should watch my weight because according to them I was nearly overweight by their standards (even though I was in the top 5% in all physical testing areas).

Over time though, as age crept in, I gain a little more each year. I always felt my optimal weight was about 185 but am now 225 or so. About 10 years ago I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes. I kinda shrugged it off at the time thinking that I could easily beat it. Then it was high blood pressure. The sleep apnea. Then full on diabetes. And I still didn't think much of it. But when I started getting that tingling, pins and needles feeling in my feet, I started to take things more seriously. 

These days, I take my meds as prescribed and do my best to not gain too much more. I've actually lost weight from when I was at my heaviest (around 242 lbs). I've been maintaining around 225 lbs for the past few years.


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## DragonFly (Apr 2, 2019)

Seriously what a great thread, I really appreciate everyone that has shared their journeys.


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## LarryTheNoodleGuy (Jan 11, 2020)

Oops, I see I answered this question a long time ago.


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## JDavis (Jan 11, 2020)

People with lowest BMI have weight related problems too; higher breast cancer, nervous disorders and higher osteoporosis. Medium build get heart attacks and digestive problems. It's kind of like breeds of dogs...different ones get different diseases.

I like the ayurvedic model which divides people into 3 categories of weight, high, medium, low fat free mass index. Each category has it's medical challenges. The current US and British medical profession is just hounding on Kapfa (high FFMI, High BMI) right now.


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## JDavis (Jan 11, 2020)

FatBarbieDoll said:


> Doesn't excess weight exacerbate health problems and put people at a higher risk of getting them in the first place, though?


I just read an interesting newer study about BMI and diabetes. They admitted, that while people with higher BMIs are more likely to get diabetes, the BMI is not the cause of the diabetes. The new model is that some people store fat in their pancreas at a certain weight and they need to stay below that weight to keep a healthy pancreas. That weight/BMI varies from diabetes patient to patient. Not everyone starts storing fat in their pancreas at any BMI/weight. I think this is a much more realistic way of saying a disease is weight related. It can be for some but not for everyone.

My dad is super skinny and has diabetes so I never bought their model until now.

Here is the study in case you are interested : https://www.ncl.ac.uk/media/wwwnclacuk/newcastlemagneticresonancecentre/files/Translating aetiological insight into sustainable management of T2D.pdf


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## ChattyBecca (Jan 24, 2020)

good to see the thread back.


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## loopytheone (Jan 24, 2020)

JDavis said:


> I just read an interesting newer study about BMI and diabetes. They admitted, that while people with higher BMIs are more likely to get diabetes, the BMI is not the cause of the diabetes. The new model is that some people store fat in their pancreas at a certain weight and they need to stay below that weight to keep a healthy pancreas. That weight/BMI varies from diabetes patient to patient. Not everyone starts storing fat in their pancreas at any BMI/weight. I think this is a much more realistic way of saying a disease is weight related. It can be for some but not for everyone.
> 
> My dad is super skinny and has diabetes so I never bought their model until now.
> 
> Here is the study in case you are interested : https://www.ncl.ac.uk/media/wwwnclacuk/newcastlemagneticresonancecentre/files/Translating aetiological insight into sustainable management of T2D.pdf



Thank you posting this and the link. Very interesting area of research.


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## extra_m13 (Jan 26, 2020)

it would be great if more people came to this thread and comment on it, being really heavy is a unique experience i am sure


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## Salacious Caitlin (Feb 13, 2020)

I'm having some drama in this area at the moment.
My doctor is having hysterics about my BMI (about 30) and has had me have some tests (a resting metabolic rate test, which I don't think was accurate because it showed me having a 'fast' metabolism... not at all what I have observed) and a body fat scan (which showed I have a lot of body fat. Duh).
I am not really worried about those things. I'm more worried about blood tests that show systemic inflammation, and about some musculoskeletal issues that are causing chronic pain and limiting my ability to exercise (although my osteoarthritis in my lower back actually doesn't feel worse with weight gain).
I really, really do not want to get back on the self-hatred, self-deprivation roller coaster of dieting. I also don't really like or trust this doctor (my specialists are fine but this is my primary doctor) but I live in an area where there are few choices.
I also don't want to have more pain or discomfort or die young (even though at the moment the world seems to be going to hell in a handbasket which is having an effect on my will to live).
Frustrating!
(forgot to mention: from an aesthetic/personal point of view I do not want to lose weight. I wonder what the doc's expression would be if I just told him that. lol)


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## loopytheone (Feb 13, 2020)

That sucks. But honestly, I've seen your posts before and you're around the same height as me and about 40 lbs lighter than I am and honestly, I don't have any weight-related health problems at all. A BMI of 30 is right on the borderline of being medically obese but a lot of studies have shown people with a BMI 25-30 have a longer life expectancy than people with an 'ideal' BMI. 

I know you say you don't have a lot of choice but I would absolutely try and find another doctor if possible, this one clearly isn't going to give you the medical care and attention you need. Having trust in a doctor is really important as well and if you don't like/trust them then it isn't worth seeing them. Do you live in a place where you pay for medical care, by any chance? Because the metabolic rate test and body fat scan are completely unneccessary and wouldn't show anything useful anyway. It seems like they are trying to scare monger you into having tests/procedures so they can make more money. 

I also used to do the dieting, self hatred type stuff and not matter what anybody says, it is never okay to go there ever again. Your priority needs to be to stay out of those mental traps; it is far healthier to be a happy fat person that looks after themselves than to be a thin person that is miserable and starves their body. Yo-yo dieting or repeated weight loss/gain tends to be much much harder on the body than just being fat and stable. As we get older, nutrient deficiencies and stuff become harder and harder for the body to cope with as well. 

It's a huge cliche, but I'm a big believer that healthy lifestyle choices are the best things for everyone. Eat lots of vegetables, drink enough fluids, sleep, exercise in ways that are positive/beneficial for you. Some people do this and end up 100 lbs and some people end up 250 lbs, weight isn't a good indicator of health. My BMI is almost 40, and I'm a vegan that exercises regularly. Healthy looks different on different people and if your doctor can't understand that then they aren't going to offer appropriate medical care.


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## Sidhuriel (Feb 15, 2020)

I have had health issues all my life, even when I was in the normal weight category. I have several autoimmune diseases and they were already there before I got fat.

So being 'healthy' is something I never experienced, I've always had this that or the other. Some doctors are quick to blame my weight by now, but it's not a root cause. Rather a result of inflammation, taking steroids for years, and resulting hormonal issues. They tend to tell you everything gets better if you just lose weight, but correlation does not equal causation and in my case for example 'getting healthy' will not happen. Also the reduction in health risks is largely overblown, if you have *one* autoimmune condition you are already at risk of lots of other complications, let alone having multiple of them as I do. Losing weight won't change any of that, so I am not trying to accomplish it.


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## Tracyarts (Feb 15, 2020)

Another factor I only touched briefly on in my previous response is how being at a higher weight makes it more difficult to diagnose, treat, and manage some health problems. 

I'm not losing weight to be more "healthy" per se, it's more for physical comfort, mobility improvement, and greater access to healthcare resources and assistive devices. 

At 400+ pounds, even in Houston TX, home of one of the largest concentrations of state of the art hospitals and other medical facilities on the planet, I have had trouble finding accessible healthcare. It seems like 250-300 pounds is the cutoff to pretty much being guaranteed access to everything I might need, so my goal weight is in that range. Basically, I need to be able to fit on life flight, and into the MRI or catscan loading table at any hospital I end up being transported to in case of another major medical crisis. 

It's partly a physical accessibility issue. Imaging equipment and loading tables cannot accommodate patients over a certain weight or dimension. And partly an issue with limitations of current technology. Imaging scans lose definition after penetrating a certain amount of body tissue and can't be relied on to give an accurate diagnosis. 

When I have my brain scans, it's just a matter of finding imaging suites with machines that can accommodate my weight and body dimensions. But when I needed heart and lung scans, the doctor couldn't get the amount of definition needed in the images because there was just too thick of a layer of fat on my chest for the equipment to penetrate properly. So the doctor had to make the most educated guess he could with the amount of information he was able to gather. 

Should hospital equipment be accessible and effective to all? Of course. But the reality is that it's not. And it may be a long time before it is. So in the meantime, do I change my body to conform to the limitations of what's currently available? Or hope that nothing happens to me before things change? 

I ended up having a potentially life-ending medical emergency in 2017 and being taken to a hospital that could not accommodate my body and could not perform diagnostic procedures. And without an accurate diagnosis, I could not be transported to a larger hospital that could accommodate me for further evaluation. 

I'm not ready to accept death as an inevitability yet, so I'm doing what I can to ensure that I can get the best diagnosis and treatment possible.


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## TwoSwords (Feb 17, 2020)

I once had high blood pressure. It led me to a 3-month-long study of illness and what's required for good health (a *very* frustrating topic of study,) which concluded in me going for walks more often, and cutting down my intake of refined sugar to almost nothing. I lost maybe 4 lbs, but the high blood pressure issue resolved itself anyway. I think most health concerns have practical solutions like that.


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## Sidhuriel (Feb 19, 2020)

TwoSwords said:


> I once had high blood pressure. It led me to a 3-month-long study of illness and what's required for good health (a *very* frustrating topic of study,) which concluded in me going for walks more often, and cutting down my intake of refined sugar to almost nothing. I lost maybe 4 lbs, but the high blood pressure issue resolved itself anyway. I think most health concerns have practical solutions like that.



Yeah definitely, health at every size is a good starting point. Some behaviours are just healthy across all weights, and cutting sugar (if you want to) is a healthy thing to do for anyone.


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