# Fit guy/Fat girl (Or vice versa)



## landshark (Sep 5, 2015)

I'm in pretty good shape, but as you may suspect by my presence here on Dims I like BBWs. I know I'm not the only fit guy or gal on this site, too.

In a recent conversation I had someone asked me how as a fit guy I could possibly be into fat women. To him it genuinely did not compute. This is a recurring theme I run into. While I recognize that a lot of fit people prefer partners with shared values regarding physical condition, this is by no means universally true. And I suspect the "exceptions" like myself are more common than people care to admit. 

So I'm curious: Do others here who are fit experience the same consternation from others over personal preferences?


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## lucca23v2 (Sep 5, 2015)

lol.. I ask myself this question all the time. I have to chalk it up to opposites attract. It could also be that fit people are so strict/regimented with diet and exercise that they tend to deny themselves things like candy, cake, ice-cream or they eat it and then exercise like crazy to burn it off, so they enjoy watching others take pleasure in it and let go and be free and not care? 

Who knows. I'm a bbw and ever since HS it has been the athletes and fit men that ask me out. *shrugs* It is what it is I guess. 

But it would be interesting to see how many fit men/women are into bbws/bhms.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Sep 5, 2015)

although i am curvy i am pretty damn fit and workout regularly. Ive gotten "how can someone as "athletic" as you, not as "fit" - but same concept! And obviously i love the big boys.


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## lucca23v2 (Sep 5, 2015)

Well.. thank (insert your deity here) that there are all of you FA/FFA's in the world or us fat people wouldn't know what to do with ourselves.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Sep 5, 2015)

lucca23v2 said:


> Well.. thank (insert your deity here) that there are all of you FA/FFA's in the world or us fat people wouldn't know what to do with ourselves.



Lmao. Just be your awesome self?

Those comments make my lip curl in derision. To put this in offensive context, i also get that my hubby is my father because he has 10 years on me. Both are equally wtf and offensive.


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## landshark (Sep 5, 2015)

lucca23v2 said:


> Well.. thank (insert your deity here) that there are all of you FA/FFA's in the world or us fat people wouldn't know what to do with ourselves.



Haha! Well, for years I tried to suppress my attraction to fat women. When I finally gave in, one of the first overweight partners gave me the "we've got you now" speech. She said "once you go fat you never go back" and went on to explain even if she and I proved to be a passing fling that I'd be unable to resist my urges from this point on. She said I'd likely end up with a fat wife. And she was right.

But in all honesty, the pleasure is all mine. I'm glad there are BBWs out there who like fit/athletic men. I'm glad one of them snatched me up and hasn't let go!


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## Blockierer (Sep 6, 2015)

I'm a athletic guy and I've been attracted to fat women all my life. My wife at 5'3", 410 lbs is perfect for me. I don't know any reasons why a fit guy should not be turned on by fat ladies.


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## loopytheone (Sep 6, 2015)

I don't think that a person's physical appearance effects what they find attractive and I don't see any logical reason why it would?

I kinda get both sides of this. I'm 5'2 and 180lbs so compared to, say, my 450lb ex I am small and petite. Without meaning to sound arrogant, I have a moderately pleasant face as well so I often got 'what would a cute/hot etc girl like you see in him?' type comments. But on the other hand, people find it strange when 'Peter Andre' types hit on me too. 

Oddly enough, it has only ever been BHM that have made comments about me being fat or too fat for them etc. Which is odd really, as most of them are a lot, lot bigger than me. Makes me wonder what causes them to say things like that without any reason.


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## Blockierer (Sep 6, 2015)

loopytheone said:


> I don't think that a person's physical appearance effects what they find attractive and I don't see any logical reason why it would?
> 
> .....


I confirm this. Below a pic from our wedding 6 years ago. I've always wanted a woman her size. Is there any reason why I should not be attracted to fat women? Let me know.  

View attachment Hochzeit MG2.jpg


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## lucca23v2 (Sep 6, 2015)

Ok before people get their panties in a twist...... *NO ONE said they should or shouldn't. * What was said is that people find it mind boggling because in essence it is. You have someone who is very self conscious about their weight and is into being fit. You would naturally expect that person to be into someone who shares their same love of exercise and keeping themselves fit. That is the way the mind works.. it is a natural thought to have. The last thing you would expect a person who keeps themselves fit is that they would be attracted to someone who is not fit. It boggles the mind.

That being said, people are whom they are and they like what they like. That is what makes us all unique. Thank (insert your deity here) that we are all different. I mean how boring would it be if we were all same! 

Vanilla is great but damn, there are so many different flavors!

Back to your regularly scheduled discussion....


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## landshark (Sep 6, 2015)

loopytheone said:


> Oddly enough, it has only ever been BHM that have made comments about me being fat or too fat for them etc. Which is odd really, as most of them are a lot, lot bigger than me. Makes me wonder what causes them to say things like that without any reason.



I actually experienced this as well from some of the women I dated. It was frustrating but looking back I can see why they had their defenses up. Some of them had been burned. A lot of guys pursue BBWs as a fetish, too. What woman wants to be the object of someone's fetish? So there was some cynicism on their part that I was what I advertised myself to be.



lucca23v2 said:


> Ok before people get their panties in a twist...... *NO ONE said they should or shouldn't. * What was said is that people find it mind boggling because in essence it is. You have someone who is very self conscious about their weight and is into being fit. You would naturally expect that person to be into someone who shares their same love of exercise and keeping themselves fit. That is the way the mind works.. it is a natural thought to have. The last thing you would expect a person who keeps themselves fit is that they would be attracted to someone who is not fit. It boggles the mind.
> 
> That being said, people are whom they are and they like what they like. That is what makes us all unique. Thank (insert your deity here) that we are all different. I mean how boring would it be if we were all same!
> 
> ...



Well said. This isn't a conversation about fit guys shouldn't be attracted to fat women or fit women to fat men. This is a conversation about how people react to that. For whatever reason it is deemed not a societal norm, even in our very open minded "anything goes" culture of today. It's just something I find fascinating.


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## FatAndProud (Sep 6, 2015)

Blockierer said:


> I confirm this. Below a pic from our wedding 6 years ago. I've always wanted a woman her size. Is there any reason why I should not be attracted to fat women? Let me know.



LOVE THAT PICTURE! How adorable  :wubu:


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## Mark02 (Sep 8, 2015)

Opposites attract


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## Ruby Ripples (Sep 9, 2015)

loopytheone said:


> I don't think that a person's physical appearance effects what they find attractive and I don't see any logical reason why it would?
> 
> I kinda get both sides of this. I'm 5'2 and 180lbs so compared to, say, my 450lb ex I am small and petite. Without meaning to sound arrogant, I have a moderately pleasant face as well so I often got 'what would a cute/hot etc girl like you see in him?' type comments. But on the other hand, people find it strange when 'Peter Andre' types hit on me too.
> 
> Oddly enough, it has only ever been BHM that have made comments about me being fat or too fat for them etc. Which is odd really, as most of them are a lot, lot bigger than me. Makes me wonder what causes them to say things like that without any reason.



Because like everyone else, they have their own physical preference in a partner and theres are obviously slimmer than you. Perhaps you were giving off a vibe that you were attracted to them so they were letting you know that the feeling wasn't reciprocated?


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## Ruby Ripples (Sep 9, 2015)

FatAndProud said:


> LOVE THAT PICTURE! How adorable  :wubu:



I love one half of the picture  Just jealous of the other half :batting: haha. hope his wife doesn't read this now!


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## dblbellybhm (Sep 10, 2015)

I don't think it matters if the guy is fit or the girl is fit. I feel that the issue is that there are people who can not understand or accept that fat can be beautiful and that people can be attracted to a "fat" (by their definition) person. I think one can be a fit person dating a fat person, or a fat person dating a fat person and the reactions can be the same. I have dated BBWs and been told "she's so fat you don't have to settle". And I have heard similar comments from BBWs though I will acknowledge that women are judged more harshly on issues of weight.


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## loopytheone (Sep 10, 2015)

Ruby Ripples said:


> Because like everyone else, they have their own physical preference in a partner and theres are obviously slimmer than you. Perhaps you were giving off a vibe that you were attracted to them so they were letting you know that the feeling wasn't reciprocated?



Trust me, I absolutely wasn't. The most prominent time somebody has said something to this effect he was a revolting man who was old enough to be my father and in the end my friends asked him to leave because he was being so lewd to everyone. 

I don't have a problem with people not finding me attractive. In fact, as a general rule, it is what I'm hoping for. I just find it interesting that the people most likely to make rude/disapproving comments about my size are BHM rather than thinner guys. There really wasn't anything more to that than a simple observation.


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## lille (Sep 10, 2015)

loopytheone said:


> Trust me, I absolutely wasn't. The most prominent time somebody has said something to this effect he was a revolting man who was old enough to be my father and in the end my friends asked him to leave because he was being so lewd to everyone.
> 
> I don't have a problem with people not finding me attractive. In fact, as a general rule, it is what I'm hoping for. I just find it interesting that the people most likely to make rude/disapproving comments about my size are BHM rather than thinner guys. There really wasn't anything more to that than a simple observation.



I wonder if this is because, while both sexes face weight based discrimination, it seems to be more socially acceptable for a man to be fat than for a woman.


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## Melian (Sep 10, 2015)

I'm a thin woman and have dated some pretty fat guys, but no one really seems to say anything about it. If anything, they tease me for being a "chubby chaser," but don't actually mean any harm.


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## lille (Sep 10, 2015)

Melian said:


> I'm a thin woman and have dated some pretty fat guys, but no one really seems to say anything about it. If anything, they tease me for being a "chubby chaser," but don't actually mean any harm.



I've never had anyone say anything to me, but we have gotten looks while out together, though I don't know whether that's the size difference or the age difference.


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## landshark (Sep 10, 2015)

lille said:


> I wonder if this is because, while both sexes face weight based discrimination, it seems to be more socially acceptable for a man to be fat than for a woman.



I agree. I don't know why this is but my wife has noted it as well. She also has picked up on a difference between the looks she gets with her wedding ring and without it. She was too big for it for a long time and often got a LOT of dirty looks out and about with our kids, but no wedding ring. Like people just assumed she was a fat welfare mom out of wedlock.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 10, 2015)

I have frequently told my boyfriend that one of us has GOT to be thin...and it ain't me  

(he's actually a little pudgy though)

Also feel the need to share that I cracked up one of my co-workers today during a meeting. One of the maintenance guys walked in to report something to the manager...and there were comments about him being "cute" when he left. I said he was attractive though he is "too skinny". There were tears in her eyes when she stopped chortling. She then commented about me wanting "thick". I wanted to say DUH ... I just won't say where


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## youareneverready (Sep 11, 2015)

I'm pretty small and have got the odd comment in public once or twice when with a bigger guy, although in those cases I don't know if the guy was big enough for that to be the main motivation behind the comment (other than people just being assholes). If anything, I like to think that if people do see a contrast in levels of attractiveness due to size difference (or any other difference) then they can see it as demonstrative of just how subjective attractiveness is. Sadly I feel that's not usually the case.


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## Blockierer (Sep 11, 2015)

A short true story:
I was asked by a friend where I met my wife. I told her that my later wife found my add on a dating site for big people. My friend was absolutely flabbergasted and said: "But you are not big. You are really not big".  
This was very amusing.


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## landshark (Sep 11, 2015)

^ I had a similar experience years ago before I was married. It was during the phase in my life where I was "coming out" as a chubby chaser, fat admirer, whatever we're called. At one point I put up an OLD profile on a BBW personals site. I had suppress my attraction to fat women long enough and was resolved to finally give in to it. I figured one god way would be to limit my options on the OLD front. I had an OLD profile on another site and even though I stated I prefer to meet "people with extra pounds" I'd still get notes from lean girls. Most guys would consider this a good problem to have, and I didn't hate it. But when a girl reads my profile and tells me she can cure me of my attraction to fatties it's a bit of a turnoff. So I found a BBW site and tried that. And I did well but some of the women I met were like, "you don't need to be here." That's irrelevant! I want to be here! Some of the worst critics have been the very women I've tried to date! And it's hard to blame them in some ways. Society tells them they're not as desirable so when someone says the opposite they don't just automatically accept it.


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## FatAndProud (Sep 11, 2015)

Lean guys are gross to have sex with. When I say lean, I mean like less than 165lbs. I like a man that eats, not watches his weight. I also like softness for when we cuddle, when I tease him, and so on. Let's face it, skinny is just an acquired taste, just as fatness is lol


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## fuelingfire (Sep 12, 2015)

I have run 3 marathon, countless half marathons, weight lift 4 times a week, are only a vegan diet, I weight 210 and it's mostly muscle. At the gym people ask me for diet advice and weightlifting tips all the time. A lot of lifters ask me if I am in competitions, which I am not. I just enjoy exercising. The vegan diet is just because I think it's healthier. I only dated thin girls when I was in high school, because that's what I was "supposed to do." But the whole time I was wishing I was with fat girls. Around the age of 18, I realized it really it was fair to the thin girls I had been dating, to always want to be with someone else. When I started dating fat girls I felt content with relationships.


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## lucca23v2 (Sep 12, 2015)

eh.. as far as physical stuff, the only requirement I have is that they be taller than I am. But even that changes. I dated someone for a year and a half that was a good 5 to 6 inches shorter. Needless to say he enjoyed it because it put him closer to my breast... (what is it about boobs that men/women can't get over. It is like staring at a car wreck, you don't want to look, but you can't look away)


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## landshark (Sep 12, 2015)

^ I once dated a quite voluptuous woman who was about 6'2" or so. She was big: Thick torso, big butt, thick legs, and boobs that were so big I almost didn't know what to do with them! I'm 5'7" and at the time was ~150 so rail thin. Runner's build. So not only was she noticeably taller than me but she also liked to wear heals when we'd go out in public. Between her size/weight and height we got some looks. She was AA and I'm white, so the fact we were inter-racial just made it that much more mind blowing for some who'd see us together!


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## phelan4022 (Sep 18, 2015)

I've been a BHM (5'11" 315lbs) and I've been an ultra marathoner (smallest I ever was at 185) and I've settled into a happy medium as I've gotten older and busier, I bike to and from work about 6 miles each way every day and I eat healthy, just enjoying sweets, etc., when I want them. I'm about 230 now. This is just to give you an idea of my backstory, I've always been into everything from curvaceous women up to SSBBWs. To answer the question directly, I see it as an application of gender archetypes. Men are fit, strong and capable of providing, women are soft and nurturing and fertile. Jung did a lot of research into archetypes and the collective unconciousness and he theorized that a lot of the elements of our attractions, etc, tie into these ancient archetypes. This has always made the most sense to me. In a perfect world, it would be marvelous to find a woman that embraced her curves but could also keep up with me on a long ride, but reality is far from perfect and I have often found myself attracted to women whose relative level of fitness was very much inverse of mine. I encourage anyone close to me to be active enough to stay healthy though


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## landshark (Sep 26, 2015)

^ Good post. Some of the partners I've had over the years would certainly not be able to participate on some of the physical outdoor activities I pursue. That was a calculated decision I had to make at one point as I decided that I was going to pursue relationships with bigger girls: some of them would not be able to share that little part of my life. 

Now my wife, even as her weight loss efforts are a bit of a roller coaster is a different story. She's an athlete at heart and despite her weight can hike and put a lot of more fit people to shame in the weight room. We have kayaks and SUP boards. She is over the max weight on one of the boards and that makes it hard, but she's surprisingly good at it anyway and will be even better when she shaves off a few pounds more.

And I think that's one of the things that makes me so fortunate. I like bigger girls, true. But really it's shape I like more than anything else. And my wife has a great figure that will still be greatly appealing to me even as she loses weight. So it'll be the best of both worlds. We'll be able to be active and pursue some of the outdoor activities we like and I'll still have a wife who's bod just drives me crazy.


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## civicspeed (Sep 26, 2015)

I am fit and I am very into my BBW wife!


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## Jack Secret (Sep 27, 2015)

phelan4022 said:


> I've been a BHM (5'11" 315lbs) and I've been an ultra marathoner (smallest I ever was at 185) and I've settled into a happy medium as I've gotten older and busier, I bike to and from work about 6 miles each way every day and I eat healthy, just enjoying sweets, etc., when I want them. I'm about 230 now. This is just to give you an idea of my backstory, I've always been into everything from curvaceous women up to SSBBWs. To answer the question directly, I see it as an application of gender archetypes. Men are fit, strong and capable of providing, women are soft and nurturing and fertile. Jung did a lot of research into archetypes and the collective unconciousness and he theorized that a lot of the elements of our attractions, etc, tie into these ancient archetypes. This has always made the most sense to me. In a perfect world, it would be marvelous to find a woman that embraced her curves but could also keep up with me on a long ride, but reality is far from perfect and I have often found myself attracted to women whose relative level of fitness was very much inverse of mine. I encourage anyone close to me to be active enough to stay healthy though



That was a really great post. That's pretty much exactly the way I've been thinking for a long time. I would see it as some kind of weird requirement that I stay as physically fit as possible. I would consider it a labor of love. Kind of like the way I insisted that my significant other be accommodated in every way, be it a seat at a restaurant or larger sized furniture around the house, A large car with big comfortable seats, or even things like "sex furniture" (go Google Liberator and you'll get my point). Anyway, enough said.


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## bigmac (Sep 30, 2015)

phelan4022 said:


> ... I see it as an of gender archetypes.* Men are fit, strong and capable of providing, women are soft and nurturing and fertile.* Jung did a lot of research into archetypes and the collective unconciousness and he theorized that a lot of the elements of our attractions, etc, tie into these ancient archetypes. This has always made the most sense to me. ...



Yes, I believe that this is very true. BHM who can project a strong capable image are successful in the dating world. BHM who cannot much less so.


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## landshark (Oct 1, 2015)

I love that sketch, Diana. Thanks for sharing!


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## DianaSSBBW (Oct 5, 2015)

Glad you liked it. I will start searching for more contrast in size art.



happily_married said:


> I love that sketch, Diana. Thanks for sharing!


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## one2one (Oct 6, 2015)

phelan4022 said:


> ... I see it as an application of gender archetypes. Men are fit, strong and capable of providing, women are soft and nurturing and fertile.



I see it in a similar way, I think. Because my attraction is to men, I'm attracted to what I think of as being masculine; all those things that are different from me. Broader shoulders, narrower waist and hips, a more muscular build.



DianaSSBBW said:


> Enjoy! Contrast is cool



I'm immediately drawn to the couple on the left. It's a great sketch, both couples are attractive, and I'm in favor of love in all it's forms, but that's where my focus naturally tends to fall first.


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## landshark (Oct 6, 2015)

one2one said:


> I'm immediately drawn to the couple on the left. It's a great sketch, both couples are attractive, and I'm in favor of love in all it's forms, but that's where my focus naturally tends to fall first.



You and me both. It resonates with me.


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## landshark (Oct 6, 2015)

That sketch is nice but nothing beats the real thing!


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## lucca23v2 (Oct 6, 2015)

HM. .. awesome pic!

Be yourself because everyone else is taken -Oscar Wilde


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## Sweetty (Oct 16, 2015)

Hello  This is me and my ex-bf -


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## Deacone (Oct 16, 2015)

happily_married said:


> That sketch is nice but nothing beats the real thing!



Happily Married; that is a wonderful photo!!! x


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## landshark (Oct 18, 2015)

^ Thank you, everyone. That girl really does have some dangerous curves on her! I'm a lucky guy!


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## DonaldChump (Oct 21, 2015)

im 5'7"ish and about 215. the man i love getting naked with is my height and about 135. hes scrawny and bony and i love it! :eat2:

and hes always been really thin. he drinks a lot of booze but has no beer gut!


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## FatBarbieDoll (Oct 28, 2015)

This thread reminds me of a video on YouTube I watched recently made by well-known SSBBW Dankii Doll. I can post it below but I must warn you: Some of the comments are very fatphobic and cruel; one in particular got over 40 thumbs up and it was a bit depressing.

According to some people, fat women have no right to prefer/expect a fit partner (DD's man is very fit).

Most of the men I've dated have been thin -- and they have always initiated contact with ME first. I don't demand a thin mate but simply prefer it.

My current partner is very slim, and much older than me, though he does have a small pudge when he bends over.


[ame]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QKbt-P3yyBI[/ame]


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## landshark (Oct 28, 2015)

FatBarbieDoll said:


> According to some people, fat women have no right to prefer/expect a fit partner (DD's man is very fit).



I've encountered this a few times. I've never understood why some people resent it when a fat person has a fit partner. If the fit partner has chosen to be with a fat man or woman, what is it to anyone else? 

Furthermore, to expect a fat person to just prefer or expect other fat people is idiotic. Should blacks prefer only other blacks? Should whites prefer only other whites? Should I have to be with a fit woman because I'm a fit male? 

Our preferences are independent of our own physical characteristics. That's why you see inter-racial couples as well as fit/fat mixed couples. It's pure fat hatred that says fat people should be limited to other fat people. And it's interesting to me that fatbarbiedoll has been approached by her thin partners. This fit male has approached most of the fat women I dated back in the day as well as my wife. 

I don't understand the resentment toward fat women who snag fit men but it's real. There is also some resentment toward the fit men themselves. I've encountered people who attempt to shame me because by dating (and now being married to) a fat woman as a fit male I'm sending a message that it's okay to be fat and still expect a fit partner. Well guess what? It IS okay!


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## FatBarbieDoll (Oct 28, 2015)

One person noted that a fat person who isn't attracted to or won't date fat people must not like their own body.


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## landshark (Oct 28, 2015)

FatBarbieDoll said:


> One person noted that a fat person who isn't attracted to or won't date fat people must not like their own body.



I'm going to watch the video and read the comments later when I'm not at work. That argument doesn't hold water though. What about a fit person like me who wants a fat partner? Do they assume I hate my body?


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## lucca23v2 (Oct 28, 2015)

To be completely honest.. i prefer my men bukt like line backers or wide receivers..not overly fit.. not big like me. It is a preference. I find sex more enjoyable when there is only one big person involved..and since i am the big person.. the guy has to be the "average" by default..lol...

Dont miss understand me.. i know plenty of couples who are both big and have great sex. I am just saying that for me.. for my enjoyment/pleasure.. i prefer for the guy to have the body of an "average" man

Sent from my SM-N920P using Tapatalk


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## fuelingfire (Oct 28, 2015)

FatBarbieDoll said:


> One person noted that a fat person who isn't attracted to or won't date fat people must not like their own body.


 
I would highly encourage people to not read the comments on videos, or news stories about fat people/size acceptance. It bums me out to see so much negativity on a positive topic. I think its so strange that people go out of their way to watch videos about things they think are disgusting and want to comment on them. I dont find feet sexual, so I dont watch videos about that. Why would I waste my time going to an article/video and commenting on it.


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## lucca23v2 (Oct 28, 2015)

Some people just like to spread misery. Others are assholes. *shrugs*


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## GregJ1 (Dec 27, 2015)

Used to be a super fit guy. Work out every day still for over an hour. Aerobic bike, elliptical and traeadmill. Weights. Was as a personal trainer. Age has slowed my metabolism. Pudge happens. Prefer BBW. Contrasts may blur as time goes by


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## beefsteak (Jan 1, 2016)

People are attracted to what they like. Some people have problems with that because its out of the "normal". I've only had one person say something about it while in public which turned into a physical altercation I can happily say that guy carried the worse of end of it. Maybe he was jealous that I was with a thin woman and she was happy. Most people that have issues with others relationships or bodies at insecure or just an asshole.


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## Deannie (Jan 9, 2016)

Lovely picture!



happily_married said:


> That sketch is nice but nothing beats the real thing!


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