# The wrong type of 'fat'?



## Maize (May 31, 2018)

One thing that I've run into in the past is that it seems like I'm the wrong _kind_ of 'fat' for a lot of people who like fat men. 

In particular, a lot of people seem to be really focused on the single big, round Buddha belly, and although not always, they also often prefer a less fat rest-of-the-body with more focus on a thin or build or "Dad Bod" physique coupled with a massive, nearly-spherical belly.

I'm fat all over (possibly because I've just always been fat, rather than it being a side-effect of intentional weight gain), and I have to wear my pants over my belly rather than under, so I have a sort of "double belly" look rather than a single large, round belly. Also, my presentation varies anywhere between "business casual" and "quirky femme-ey nerd", so I don't really channel the lumberjack or biker vibes much.

If you like fat men, is there a specific 'type' of fat men that you like, or just anybody of considerable size?


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## loopytheone (May 31, 2018)

Well, I can appreciate people of any shape and size, I think the variation in bodies, especially fat ones, is incredible.

For what it is worth though, I strongly prefer guys that are fat all over. I love bellies, and I tend to prefer single ones, but my ideal is a person that is well balanced and soft and fat all over. I mean, I love fat fluffy arms, thick thighs, big butts etc etc. The whole lumberjack/biker vibe that some people go for isn't to my taste either. I mean, the people who like that look and rock it look lovely and I'm glad they are comfortable and appreciated in their aesthetics. But I guess I tend to go for a 'boy next door' type of look? Clean and casual. Nerdy things are always appreciated though! I'm a huge nerd so it's kinda a given for me that my partner be as well! 

I know what you mean about being the wrong 'type' of fat for a lot of people though. I'm a girl and I'm big all over, without the thick dramatic curves the famous models tend to have; no exaggerated hips or breasts or tiny waist.


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## LeoGibson (May 31, 2018)

Honestly I think it’s all about personal preference really. I think just like it breaks down in the non-fat world about liking this one because of their swimmers body, or that one because of their muscles it’s the same in the fat world. For some yes you’ll be the wrong kind of fat for their preference and for others perfect and for a lot it will just be enough that you’re fat, then it’s up to who you are as a person. I can look at myself as a good example of that. I’m not what most would call attractive, but I have a certain look about me and while many women aren’t into it, those that are, they’re very much into it. Like the old expression goes, you might not be someone’s cup of tea, but you just might be someone else’s shot of whiskey!


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## DragonFly (May 31, 2018)

I’ve often felt like I am the wrong kind of fat... just like you said. I think it happens on both sides of the spectrum. I admit I do have a soft spot for the all over big guys. I can appreciate the big round belly, but the all over big is my preference. Interesting thoughts.


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## Tad (Jun 2, 2018)

For sure not all people who like fat partners are attracted to all fat people -- we all have our preferences  When it comes to guys though, in my mind the two big dominant axis for mapping attraction are how much the admirer wants 'big' and how they feel about soft versus hard. Some FFA (and gay/bi male FA) seem to like fat as one component of being big and burly, (but typically also want some degree of height, wider shoulders, deeper chest, etc as part of the mix). And some seem to like the 'hard fat' that you described with the ball belly and less fat elsewhere, while others really like softness. Those seem to be the two dimensions where I most often hear someone liking one end of the scale but not the other.


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## lille (Jun 2, 2018)

As Tad said, everyone has a slightly different preference just like people who are into thinner people also prefer certain body types over others. I personally prefer soft all over.


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## hommecreux (Jun 3, 2018)

I'm pretty self conscious about this too. Being fluffy all over makes me happy, but I think that I've just had to accept that certain people like certain things aesthetically and if they don't like me for who/what I am or look like, I can't do anything to change that. It is pretty frustrating though.


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## clockworklove (Jun 3, 2018)

There are always lots of people that like what you're rocking, no matter where you are on the 'type of fat' spectrum. I personally love that 'soft fat all over' build, and I feel like a decent amount of FFA fiction represents that type of body!


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## DragonFly (Jun 3, 2018)

clockworklove said:


> There are always lots of people that like what you're rocking, no matter where you are on the 'type of fat' spectrum. I personally love that 'soft fat all over' build, and I feel like a decent amount of FFA fiction represents that type of body!


I agree with that. My love ( passed away) was big all over and a belly. I guess the best of both worlds. I just loved his squishy sides, and legs.


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## AmyJo1976 (Jun 4, 2018)

DragonFly said:


> I agree with that. My love ( passed away) was big all over and a belly. I guess the best of both worlds. I just loved his squishy sides, and legs.


Sounds like we share the same tastes girl!


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## DragonFly (Jun 5, 2018)

AmyJo1976 said:


> Sounds like we share the same tastes girl!


I bet we do! Love that type. They make me smile.


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## ODFFA (Jun 6, 2018)

Another thing worth pointing out here is that the dad bod preference has become a lot more mainstream-acceptable in recent years. I've seen a surprising number of women admit to it very publicly. Not so much with the soft-all-over preference. Which may explain why, "out in the world," you're more likely to come by admissions of dad bod attraction. And you can probably see from the posts above... the scales miiiight be tipped a bit more to the soft-all-over side on a community like this one. 

There are more of us out there, I promise. I recently stumbled upon one of my classmates' engagement pics on facebook and was delighted to see her with a handsome all-over BHM. And the attraction was clear ^_^


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## squeezablysoft (Jun 8, 2018)

It seems to me that fat ppl vary more than slim ppl in terms of body shape. One reason why finding well-fitting clothes is harder when you're heavier. Like, shopping for jeans always leads to a nervous breakdown for me because I can never seem to find a pair where the leg length, waist size and hip size are all in sync with my measurements. So I can well imagine that there are preferences for different types of fat bodies amongst FA/FFA.

Personally I'm definitely into the big and soft and cuddly all over look, really every part of a person being fat is a turn on for me. Big butts are probably my most favorite but I know ppl who prefer those who just have a belly on an otherwise slim or somewhat muscular frame. And of course loads of guys like an otherwise thin girl who just has big boobs and/or big booty, but can't stand the thought of a girl with a round belly.


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## agouderia (Jun 10, 2018)

Maize - what you need to consider is also the issue of basic biologic patterns, which despite all effects of modern civilization still play, naturally not an exclusive one, in mating.

Most men still want their women smaller than they are - and vice-versa. Men are more likely to be sexually aroused by women with broad hips - signifiying fertility - when they are hungry. Women choose men with broaderer shoulders during their fertile days of the month in tests.

If you read through the - much more extensive SS/BBW pages here, you will find way more expressed fans of shorts pears - as body type - than of tall, apple-shaped valkyries. 

F/FA-dom most likely opens the minds of people for attractiveness in a much broader range of body-shapes - but it doesn't overcome all basic ingrained biological stereotypes.


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## hutti (Jun 13, 2018)

Maize said:


> One thing that I've run into in the past is that it seems like I'm the wrong _kind_ of 'fat' for a lot of people who like fat men.
> 
> In particular, a lot of people seem to be really focused on the single big, round Buddha belly, and although not always, they also often prefer a less fat rest-of-the-body with more focus on a thin or build or "Dad Bod" physique coupled with a massive, nearly-spherical belly.
> 
> ...


I love you kiss and hugs,,,


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## BigElectricKat (Jun 13, 2018)

ODFFA said:


> Another thing worth pointing out here is that the dad bod preference has become a lot more mainstream-acceptable in recent years. I've seen a surprising number of women admit to it very publicly. Not so much with the soft-all-over preference. Which may explain why, "out in the world," you're more likely to come by admissions of dad bod attraction. And you can probably see from the posts above... the scales miiiight be tipped a bit more to the soft-all-over side on a community like this one.
> 
> There are more of us out there, I promise. I recently stumbled upon one of my classmates' engagement pics on facebook and was delighted to see her with a handsome all-over BHM. And the attraction was clear ^_^


Now I'm beginning to understand. Maybe it's my body type that puts people off. (or possibly some other factor)


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## Maize (Jun 13, 2018)

hutti said:


> I love you kiss and hugs,,,


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## BountifulBabs (Jun 14, 2018)

I've dated both kinds of BHM that you described. I do prefer big all over, but I'm open minded. My ex was big all over and he had most fantastic legs, so big. He always wore pants so I never saw them before the first time we were intimate. I was blown away. I also like wide and soft backs and chests. There's something about being hugged by an all over big man that I love.


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## LifelongFA (Jun 14, 2018)

I love the variety - no two people carry it the same. Similar sometimes, but always fun adventures exploring and appreciating the uniqueness of each of us


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## ChubbyPear (Jun 15, 2018)

I tend to be the "wrong" type too. I'm a VERY pronounced pear. I have huge hips, butt, thighs, and a bit of belly but I'm almost flat chested. It seems most of the guys who like big women are really attracted to huge boobs, and I just didn't win that particular lotto...


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## BigElectricKat (Jun 15, 2018)

ChubbyPear said:


> I tend to be the "wrong" type too. I'm a VERY pronounced pear. I have huge hips, butt, thighs, and a bit of belly but I'm almost flat chested. It seems most of the guys who like big women are really attracted to huge boobs, and I just didn't win that particular lotto...


I'm betting that after that description, you will get plenty of guys who will try and talk at you! Be confident in who you are (not saying that you aren't already) and plenty of people (women and men) will want to get to know you. Remember: It's not how much or how little you have. It's what you do with what you've got!


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## LifelongFA (Jun 15, 2018)

Agree with BEK! There is a significant group of FAs who prefer the extreme pear shape. Some of the most popular SSBBW models are shaped this way. Back in the day, one of the most popular Dimensions Models of all time was Brie Brown, who was known as the "ultimate pear".


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## loopytheone (Jun 15, 2018)

Yeah, if anything I've seen way more FAs that are into pear shapes than other shapes. You can see that reflected in the number of pear shaped fat models and plus size models.


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## BigElectricKat (Jun 15, 2018)

loopytheone said:


> Yeah, if anything I've seen way more FAs that are into pear shapes than other shapes. You can see that reflected in the number of pear shaped fat models and plus size models.


That does seem to be a prevailing theme. However, I think maybe many of the models who are confident enough to do the modeling (nude or otherwise) just happen to be pears because there are loads of big girls that have different shapes out there.


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## BigElectricKat (Jun 15, 2018)

ChubbyPear said:


> I tend to be the "wrong" type too. I'm a VERY pronounced pear. I have huge hips, butt, thighs, and a bit of belly but I'm almost flat chested. It seems most of the guys who like big women are really attracted to huge boobs, and I just didn't win that particular lotto...


Don't feel bad. Apparently I'm the wrong type of fat too. Or the wrong type of something.


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## ChubbyPear (Jun 15, 2018)

loopytheone said:


> Yeah, if anything I've seen way more FAs that are into pear shapes than other shapes. You can see that reflected in the number of pear shaped fat models and plus size models.



Maybe... Even the pear shaped models though still have huge boobs compared to mine... Makes me feel quite inadequate, particularly when I see so many dating ads that say they're looking for a BBW and then specifically mention butt AND boobs in the things they're looking for.


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## BigElectricKat (Jun 15, 2018)

ChubbyPear said:


> Maybe... Even the pear shaped models though still have huge boobs compared to mine... Makes me feel quite inadequate, particularly when I see so many dating ads that say they're looking for a BBW and then specifically mention butt AND boobs in the things they're looking for.


Please don't be down on yourself. I bet that you have something as equally alluring to offer. You just have to come across the right who will see that value in you.


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## JDavis (Jun 16, 2018)

Yes, I agree that men want women smaller than them. I am tall and have a high Fat free mass index (high lean weight relative to height, i.e. very stocky or muscular). I like to joke that I look like a "linebackers mother". I also am fairly small breasts relative to the rest of me. It was a challenge finding dates when I was single, even with the power of the internet helping me.

Fat patterns are also associated with testosterone and estrogen levels. Some people prefer more gender neutral men or women and some more gender non-neutral. My fat pattern is fairly typically feminine, with the fat on the outside of my skin all over, not just in the belly. I think pear shape, like I have, not apple, is also more related to higher estrogen to testosterone levels as well.


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## andycarter (Jun 17, 2018)

I'm big all over, but my legs are so big I look a bit fem. I weigh a lot more than people think, because I'm hiding a lot of weight "down there". Hiding in plain sight. They're hard to miss. But people judge a man's weight by their upper body, not their lower body.


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## Maize (Jun 17, 2018)

ChubbyPear said:


> I tend to be the "wrong" type too. I'm a VERY pronounced pear. I have huge hips, butt, thighs, and a bit of belly but I'm almost flat chested. It seems most of the guys who like big women are really attracted to huge boobs, and I just didn't win that particular lotto...



I have to say that that sounds wonderful, though.


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## BHMluver (Jun 27, 2018)

I understand. I’ve never been attracted to ball bellies or hairless men. Yet, we can not fault what we’re individually attracted to. As well, I’ve learned a nice, OK, DELICIOUS fat body can’t compensate for an angry, self-loathing individual. 

I’m OK w/ my preference but can’t (tired for years & epically failed) make a man who dislikes his body feel good about himself. Confidence, motivation, kindness, a sense of humor are what trips-my-trigger... plus, a freakishly devoted love for animals of all kinds. 

At the end of the day, you just need to live life as a couple albeit, although one partner is much bigger than you. On these fetish sites I see things about stuffing & immobilty. If that’s your thing, than enjoy. Personally, that doesn’t work for me. But hey, whatever blows your skirt up ... just don’t use kids or animals. Lol


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