# ..Bad dates



## Waxwing (Nov 2, 2007)

No, not a Raiders of the Lost Ark reference, but spectacularly bad romantic encounters.

I'm sure there have been threads like this before, but I had a particularly bad date the other night and thought I would share:

I had been out with this dude a couple of times before, and the other night we went to dinner. Nice! Cocktail before dinner, wine, cocktail after dinner. Me? Fine. Him? Not so much.

So he slurred at me that there was no way he could get home and could he please crash with me. Sigh...okay, even though clearly there would be no sexy time with the aforementioned massive alcohol consumption. Disappointing, but oh well.

He passed out on my bed. I watched Blade Runner. At some point in the middle of the night he woke up, and in sauced confusion mistook my entire bedroom floor for a toilet. 

Good god no. Oh yes. Yes he did. All over everything. Pee as far as the eye could see. I spent hours cleaning.

There's really no more to the story; it was just so insane that I had to share.

Bring your own horror stories to the party, please.


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## Jack Skellington (Nov 2, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> No, not a Raiders of the Lost Ark reference, but spectacularly bad romantic encounters.



I have to admit, the first thing that popped into my head when I read that was Raiders.


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## Waxwing (Nov 2, 2007)

Jack Skellington said:


> I have to admit, the first thing that popped into my head when I read that was Raiders.



Yeah I was hoping that. Heee. 

Now I feel a little guilty for connected Raiders to floor pee.


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## mossystate (Nov 2, 2007)

Waxy...did you rub his nose in it?


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## Waxwing (Nov 2, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Waxy...did you rub his nose in it?



HA! No, but I did make him leave. In retrospect I feel somewhat bad about that. I, of all people, understand the drunken stupidity. I was just so horrified and disgusted.

Now if other people don't share, I'm going to feel like a freak for dating Pee Boy.


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## Emma (Nov 2, 2007)

Oh God I did the drunken pee thing. I'm so ashamed lol


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## Waxwing (Nov 2, 2007)

CurvyEm said:


> Oh God I did the drunken pee thing. I'm so ashamed lol



Yes but did you do it in someone else's house? Because we've all had some bad nights at home. Lord knows I have.


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## snuggletiger (Nov 2, 2007)

Wow that really is a bad date. Bad beyond bummer. Sorry you had that happen at your crib.


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## Emma (Nov 2, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> Yes but did you do it in someone else's house? Because we've all had some bad nights at home. Lord knows I have.



Someones bed LOL The shame! I was however being bought shots all night and the toilet was like 2 floors away so I passed out in a dead sleep. eeek.

At home I normally have 3 or 4 wee's at least after a night out lol


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## Waxwing (Nov 2, 2007)

CurvyEm said:


> Someones bed LOL The shame! I was however being bought shots all night and the toilet was like 2 floors away so I passed out in a dead sleep. eeek.
> 
> At home I normally have 3 or 4 wee's at least after a night out lol



OH NO! Oh that's awful. I'm so sorry. 

I hear you-- if I'm drunk I will pee about every ten minutes. Knock on wood, it's always been in the proper place. At least so far.


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## Ample Pie (Nov 2, 2007)

I want to reply to this thread, but all I can must is maniacal laughter---not at the topic but due to the absolute badness of any date I'd have to reference.


I just about fell over backward with insane laughter.


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## mimosa (Nov 2, 2007)

Wow, Waxwing.....I don't even know what to say.:blink: I don't think I've had dates like that. But I have known others with similar situations. Best of luck with future dates.:bow:


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## Emma (Nov 2, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> OH NO! Oh that's awful. I'm so sorry.
> 
> I hear you-- if I'm drunk I will pee about every ten minutes. Knock on wood, it's always been in the proper place. At least so far.



Yeah I was so mortified at the time that I had to run away and get a £200 taxi to a friends house. Now I'm not that bothered about it anymore since I found out my Dad got drunk and shat in my grandmas shoe cupboard LOL

Runs in the family I think ;-)


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## Maxx Awesome (Nov 2, 2007)

Yipes! This has gone from a "Bad Dates" thread to "Most Unusual Place You've Answered Nature's Call" thread.


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## Waxwing (Nov 2, 2007)

CurvyEm said:


> Yeah I was so mortified at the time that I had to run away and get a £200 taxi to a friends house. Now I'm not that bothered about it anymore since I found out my Dad got drunk and shat in my grandmas shoe cupboard LOL
> 
> Runs in the family I think ;-)



Oh man. I can't stop laughing. Wow that is too much.

And I love those "i'll spend all of my money on a cab just to get the hell out of here" moments. Heeee.


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## elle camino (Nov 2, 2007)

hahahaha what! how would you even go about shitting in a cupboard!

great thread btw.


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## OfftoOtherPlaces (Nov 2, 2007)

Boy, hope I never get that drunk. Bathroom breaks are supposed to make a date less awkward, not more.

I've gotta say, all my dates have been pretty ho-hum on the disaster scale.


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## stan_der_man (Nov 2, 2007)

I once went on a date with a girl who (as I later discovered) was seriously bi-polar / manic depressive. She went from giddy to nearly suicidal one second to the next. I very quickly figured out what subjects not to talk about, drove her home, gently brought the date to an end and eased myself out of her life.


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## T'Rina-MsXXL (Nov 2, 2007)

This makes getting stood up for halloween (I sort of suspected it was going to happen before hand) almost OK


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## Maxx Awesome (Nov 2, 2007)

The problem is, the first post was SO sensational nobody can really top it. As far as bad dates go, having someone urinate all over your floor is about as bad as it can get.
Worst I've got is a girl asking me "Where is this relationship going?" about a fortnight after I met her... ZOINKS!:blink:


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## liz (di-va) (Nov 2, 2007)

oh sweet jebus, I dunno what I'd do, waxwing. BLIMEY.

Bad dates are so fun (in retrospect), yah? They make the greatest stories later, although I think I've blocked a lot of them out to be honest. 

There was the guy who did the fake-pat-down "Oh I forgot my wallet" during dinner and stuck me with the tab.

Or the yuppie I still like to imitate who did the fake gun-shootin thing at the waiter when he ordered his food, like ta-pow, I'd like the brownie, ta-pow!

Oh! I know, the guy who turned out to have been kicked out of college for stalking a coworker (I discovered later). He was yicky.


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## Theresa48 (Nov 2, 2007)

Long ago in another lifetime I refer to as "my naive youth" I was set up on a blind date by my best friend (?) in college. I was so excited! She told me all kinds of stories about how funny and smart the guy was...she even thought him cute. When I first saw him, I should have turned around and climbed (ummm...ran up) the five level staircase back to my dorm room because he literally stank of putrid, stale cigarettes and had a dandruff looking substance flaking off his eyebrows and eyelashes. (Hmmm...this is not to say that people who smoke stink...my mom and ex-spouse smoked and never smelled like this guy. Or, that people with dandruff are horrible looking. They aren't.) However, for whatever crazy reason, I was worried about hurting his feelings so we went to the campus movie. On the way there (we walked) he mentioned he was a wanted man and had to stay out of well lit areas for fear of being shot or beaten. He was a former leader of the "Hell's Angels" motorcycle gang and they were after him. He then asked me if I might like a swig of his special home brew which he carried in his pocket flask. I decided hurt feelings or not...this guy was not someone I should go any further down the sidewalk with and simply turned around and went back to my dorm room where I tried to strangle my "former" best friend/room mate. That was the only blind date I attempted. Now I laugh about the whole thing. On reflection, the experience could have been a lot worse....especially after reading the OP's story. LOL


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## PamelaLois (Nov 2, 2007)

Back about 100 years ago, when I was in college, I went out with this guy a couple times but after the second date I realized he had some serious control issues and would probably be the abusive type. He assumed we would be going out the next night and said he would be by to pick me up at 7. I politely declined and said I wasn't really interested in seeing him again. To my complete and utter shock, he then backhanded me across the face and screamed "WHAT?!?!? I'm not good enough for you BITCH!?!?" I stood there for a second, my face stinging thinking "Dude, you just made a serious mistake" (He forgot that I had recently earned my first degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do). I curled up my fist and threw a right cross. When he regained consciousness I told him "Remember, some women hit BACK!" and walked away. Never saw him again.


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## CleverBomb (Nov 3, 2007)

CurvyEm said:


> <snip>shat in my grandmas shoe cupboard LOL
> 
> *Runs* in the family I think ;-)



*groan*

-Rusty


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## BlondeAmbition (Nov 3, 2007)

I've had the awkward blinddates which are never really fun.. but I think my worst date would have to have been the night I went to the theater to see _Jackass_ back in November of 2002. I had been out once or twice before with this guy and our first date had been such an awesome time. On this particular night though, we both thought it would be hilarious to get high (this was the end of my pothead days) and watch Johnny Knoxville and the gang attempt to kill themselves doing the usual stupid shit they do.

Anyway at some point during the movie, I became very aware of my date's freakish laugh.. and from there my paranoia just snowballed. I cut the date short and never called him again... which was sorta too bad because until that night, we were both pretty smitten. :doh:


Oooh.. My girlfriend had a horrible date a few weekends ago... She'd gone out on a Saturday night with some guy, they had drinks and dinner, spent most of the night discussing themselves and what they were both looking for in a relationship.. when she met up with us for a girls night out, she said it had been an enjoyable evening.

The next night (Sunday), he invited her over to watch a movie and the second she was through his door, he was all over her. Apparently the the conversation that followed went something like this:

Friend: "Just so you know, I don't want to sleep with you tonight because I don't really know you yet."

Guy: "I completely agree, I don't think we know each other enough yet..."

Friend: "I'm really glad we both agree on this."

Guy: "Me too... buuuut _I do think a blow job is in order_."

Annnnd from that point she left and never called him again. 

Pfffffft. Seriously, _who_ says that!? What a loser.


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## Canadian (Nov 3, 2007)

BlondeAmbition said:


> Guy: "Me too... buuuut _I do think a blow job is in order_."
> 
> Annnnd from that point she left and never called him again.
> 
> Pfffffft. Seriously, _who_ says that!? What a loser.



The gentleman was direct and open, and I respect him for it.
Honest people are few and far between nowadays, and personally, I think that kind of candidness is commendable.


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## Dhaunae (Nov 3, 2007)

Canadian said:


> The gentleman was direct and open, and I respect him for it.
> Honest people are few and far between nowadays, and personally, I think that kind of candidness is commendable.



I would have to agree on that point. Maybe a loser move on his part but at least he was honest about it. Far too many people would rather beat around the bush than be honest about their intentions. I would have laughed at him, came up with some witty retort and made my way out of there. 

Let's see.. worst date was a couple of months ago.. I met a guy through yahoo and we talked for a good month before going out to see Pirates of the Caribbean3. He was well aware of my size and when he picked me up he honked and waited for me to come outside instead of coming to the door. So we head down to the theater and as we head in he walks about three feet away from me, then we get in to pay and he was expecting me to pay for both of our tickets.. Um no. I'll pay for mine but hell if I was paying for his. We don't even stop to get a drink before going in and then the whole time sitting in there he was oogling another woman and leaning away from me as if I had some contagious disease. Again when we went back to the car he was walking a ways away from me like he was ashamed to be seen with me. Bleh.


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## Zoom (Nov 3, 2007)

I'll tell you about a bad date in advance!

I have a date with my combo meal later today. She always goes down well at first, but I always leave alone.


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## BlondeAmbition (Nov 3, 2007)

Canadian said:


> The gentleman was direct and open, and I respect him for it.
> Honest people are few and far between nowadays, and personally, I think that kind of candidness is commendable.



Really? I disagree. There are different, _tactful_ ways this guy could've suggested that oral sex could still occur.. but his wording, _"I think a bj is in order?"_ I feel that was extremely pompous of him to assume. He might as well have said, "Blow me beautiful." 

Maybe if it had been _discussed_ instead of _assumed_, her reaction would've been entirely different but I think right about then, she felt about as important as a bottle of lotion.


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## Ash (Nov 3, 2007)

Canadian said:


> The gentleman was direct and open, and I respect him for it.
> Honest people are few and far between nowadays, and personally, I think that kind of candidness is commendable.



It sounded more like a command than a guy merely trying to be honest. Not commendable from where I'm sitting. 

Having any sort of expectation about what sort of sexual act a girl should perform is presumptuous and rude.


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## BlondeAmbition (Nov 3, 2007)

Ashley said:


> It sounded more like a command than a guy merely trying to be honest. Not commendable from where I'm sitting.
> 
> Having any sort of expectation about what sort of sexual act a girl should perform is presumptuous and rude.



Thank you!


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## mossystate (Nov 3, 2007)

Maaaaybe I am wrong..but..I smell that Canadian was being facetious....maaaaaybe.


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## Jack Skellington (Nov 3, 2007)

PamelaLois said:


> When he regained consciousness I told him "Remember, some women hit BACK!" and walked away. Never saw him again.



That was awesome.


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## Blackjack (Nov 3, 2007)

Zoom said:


> I'll tell you about a bad date in advance!
> 
> I have a date with my combo meal later today. She always goes down well at first, but I always leave alone.



You should consider yourself lucky that she goes down at all.


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## CleverBomb (Nov 3, 2007)

BlondeAmbition said:


> Oooh.. My girlfriend had a horrible date a few weekends ago... She'd gone out on a Saturday night with some guy, they had drinks and dinner, spent most of the night discussing themselves and what they were both looking for in a relationship.. when she met up with us for a girls night out, she said it had been an enjoyable evening.
> 
> The next night (Sunday), he invited her over to watch a movie and the second she was through his door, he was all over her. Apparently the the conversation that followed went something like this:
> 
> ...



If that had been a joke, it would have been a pretty good one, actually.
Delivered straight and seriously? Appalling.

-Rusty


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## ZainTheInsane (Nov 3, 2007)

I was told this by a girl I met at SUNY Fredonia...let's call her Beth for the moment...

Beth was dating this guy...let's call him Pete...and I asked her how they first met. At the current time I believe Pete was passed out on the floor, and there were several drunks around the room, myself being buzzed. She wasn't completely sober either, otherwise I likely wouldn't have heard this story.

So, Pete, Beth, and several other members of their church youth group went on a trip that they had raised funds for, and gotten ready for during the past year. I believe she said it was at a resort in Charlotte (sp?) but I could be wrong. In any case, as is inevitable with a lot of church youth groups...guys+girls on the same trip, of the ages between 15-18, tend to mingle. So, they went out, convinced someone out there they were 21, bought booze, and proceeded to get toasted.

Now, at the time Pete and Beth were not dating, and only knew each other as friends. Somehow they ended up in the same room together with a few other people (likely for their propensity for partying) all getting nice and drunk. Having a crush on Pete, and not wanting to get a hang-over herself, Beth encouraged Pete to drink plenty of water, and did so herself.

Later than night, after Pete passed out, and the others either left or passed out as well, Beth was awoken by this wet feeling. She woke up and looked up to find Pete pissing on her back. Further inspection made her realize that not only had he peed on her bed and her, but he had also pissed all over the wall, and floor. After he stopped pissing, he walked over to the other bed, and collapsed on top of some passed out drunks, and proceeded to snore. Beth meanwhile, was left gawking at the mess she felt she had to clean up before it stunk up the whole place.

Now, I don't know why or how, but somewhere after this interesting experience with Pete, she ended up dating him, up until I left Fredonia about a year after she told me this story.

Just to note, after she finished the story, I just about choked on my drink laughing, and I ended up having to rush to the bathroom because I was laughing so hard I was in danger of pissing myself. 

Moral of the story...apparently pissing while drunk on a hot girl's back is one way to ask her out...


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## Canadian (Nov 3, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Maaaaybe I am wrong..but..I smell that Canadian was being facetious....maaaaaybe.



 ....Hooray!


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## GrowingBoy (Nov 3, 2007)

I was in gradual school, and answered an ad. We talked over the phone, she seemed normal, so I agreed to pick her up at her home. 

I knocked on her door and when she came out I knew something was wrong. I was in my 20s and the ad had said she was in her 30s, but she looked way older than that. 

So I asked her if she was married or had been married. She told me she had left her husband and kids (who were now in college, almost my age); she said she couldn't live with them any more due to chemical sensitivity, and that her family thought she was crazy. 

By then we were on the freeway headed towards a restaurant and she asked me if I had ever worked for the government. I had been doing part-time work for a company with a contract from EPA, so I told her that, and she started screaming about how the "government was watching her" and that I was sent by the DoD. She then tried to open the door and get out of the car -- while it was moving at full speed. 

I immediately locked the doors and told her calmly that if she was uncomfortable, I would take her home, but that I wasn't going to let her kill herself on a first date. She seemed to calm down and I drove her back home. 

It only lasted 30 minutes or so, but it felt like hours.


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## Ash (Nov 3, 2007)

^Winner...


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Nov 3, 2007)

I had one blind date. I have told this story before so the short version :

I picked him up at the train station.

Within 5 minutes of being in my car he unzipped his fly - pulled out his penis and said to me - "What do you think of this???"

I turned around drove back to the train station - told him to ge out of my car.

End of date.


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## Canonista (Nov 3, 2007)

She had a scent "down there" so bad it could peel paint. 

She also had back hair.

I spared her feelings, but didn't ask her out again.


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## Canonista (Nov 3, 2007)

ZainTheInsane said:


> Moral of the story...apparently pissing while drunk on a hot girl's back is one way to ask her out...




Marking his territory? Maybe his package was so impressive she was willing to overlook being peed on?


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## TraciJo67 (Nov 3, 2007)

Some of these stories are hilarious ... some are just sad. Yikes. Waxwing, there is no way I could top your 'bad date' story, but I have one that is at least cringe-worthy. Not an actual date, but still ....

When I was in college, I spent a summer semester taking a few extra classes. I was roomed with a very sweet girl, and we got along quite well ... until her boyfriend, who (the story went) had been discharged from the military, showed up one day and basically wanted to live with us. He was a tiny little blowhard of a guy with a foul mouth, extremely ill-mannered, and he quite obviously felt that he was Something Else. Which he was -- we just didn't agree on quite what that special 'something' was. My roommate begged me to let him stay for a few days while they attempted to find more permanent housing for him, and I reluctantly agreed. On the first night, I woke up to the sound of her fervent whispering. Perhaps I wouldn't have heard, if they weren't laying 3 feet above me, in the upper bunk. The conversation went something like this:

She: "I'm not comfortable doing this, what if she wakes up?"
He (snickering): "We could always ask her to join us."
She: "Oh my God, Link [yes, I swear to Goddess, his name was Link] how could you say something like that? Don't you love me? What kind of girl do you think I am? I told you, I'm never going to do that!"
He (soothing): "Honey, please, I was only joking ... God, how could you think I was serious? Look at how FAT she is! No way would I touch that!" 

Nice. 

I interrupted his desperate attempt to molly-coddle her into "at least a handjob" by faking a restless sleep sound and rolling over. The next day I asked her to make him leave. Bye-bye he went, and she and I remained friends. Fast forward a few months, and Fall semester is in progress. By this time, she has a dorm room of her own, and the charming non-student, non-working Link has comfortably set up shop with her. She and I remained in phone contact, but I refused to have anything to do with him. One night, right before the Thanksgiving holidays, I get a phone call. It is Link, and he's so distraught that at first I can't even make out what he's saying. Finally, I figure out that my friend has gone home for the holidays, he's in the room alone, and he just found out that his mother died. I'm his only "friend" on the whole campus, and he knows that he's imposing, but could I come over to be with him in his time of sorrow? I hemmed and hawed for a few minutes, and desperately tried to gracefully bow out, but in the end my kinder nature took over and I agreed to walk across campus in sub-zero Minnesota weather to keep him company in his sad, disconsolate hour of need. Fast forward through a few awkward minutes of uncomfortable conversation about his poor dead mother. Four minutes into the grief fest, he throws himself into my horrified, frozen arms and starts to sob. And nuzzle my breasts. And sob. Five minutes into the vigal, I began to realize that his idea of comfort may include a mercy fuck. As I try to extract myself (first gently, then with frenzied desperation) he clings more tightly and then ... yes, his hand creeps up and cups a breast. Link was, at best, 5'2" and 125 pounds. At that time, I was 5'6" and probably 200. It was no contest. I was out the door before he even realized that what hit him had, in fact, been my fist directed straight into his flapping yawp. When I called his girlfriend a few days later, to express my "condolences" for the poor departed Mrs. Link (and give her the downlow on what a creep he is), I wasn't surprised to learn that the dearly departed had made her way into the light many years before Link discovered that he had a thing for fat chicks after all. Sadly, she chose to believe his version of events, but their romance was doomed anyway. As it turns out, Link had been overly generous in describing how he and Uncle Sam parted ways. He apparently didn't feel that he was being all that he could be, so he tendered up a resignation letter in the form of slithering away when nobody was looking. Yes ... Link really *was* missing  ... and when he was found, he was promptly returned to face desertion charges.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 3, 2007)

Hey Waxy....at least he did the pee thing while you were just dating...he could have waited until you married him to pull that on you


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 3, 2007)

Canadian said:


> The gentleman was direct and open, and I respect him for it.
> Honest people are few and far between nowadays, and personally, I think that kind of candidness is commendable.



I wouldn't call a guy that told me I needed to blow him on the second date a gentleman.....:huh:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 3, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Maaaaybe I am wrong..but..I smell that Canadian was being facetious....maaaaaybe.




I hope so...and you are probably right because I have seen him make sarcastic jokes like that in other threads.


***finished reading the thread finally  
Glad he was kidding


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## Wayne_Zitkus (Nov 3, 2007)

Maxx Awesome said:


> Worst I've got is a girl asking me "Where is this relationship going?" about a fortnight after I met her... ZOINKS!:blink:


I had a girl ask me when I was going to convert to Judaism so we could get married.

On our second date. :doh:


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## mossystate (Nov 3, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I hope so...and you are probably right because I have seen him make sarcastic jokes like that in other threads.
> 
> 
> ***finished reading the thread finally
> Glad he was kidding



Gee, Green, you sure go off...half-cawked!!!


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## Dhaunae (Nov 3, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I had one blind date. I have told this story before so the short version :
> 
> I picked him up at the train station.
> 
> ...



I think I would have kicked him out of the car right then. The audacity of some people. The more I read these bad date stories, the more I think I shouldn't get back into the dating scene.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 3, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Gee, Green, you sure go off...half-cawked!!!



Yeah, I'm still hoping to find the other half.....


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## Wayne_Zitkus (Nov 3, 2007)

Dhaunae said:


> The more I read these bad date stories, the more I think I shouldn't get back into the dating scene.


Don't give up - I thought I was done with dating when a long-term relationship ended, but I went to a singles dance for plus-size folks back in NJ. I met Sandie at that dance, and this February we celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary.


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## natesnap (Nov 3, 2007)

A couple months ago I was set up on a blind date. The story was that she was a friend of a friend, new to the state, and my friend thought she should meet some new people. We talked on the phone beforehand and everything seemed good to go. 

The date rolls around and we hit the movies and grab dinner. At dinner is when things fell apart. We got along great and shared some interests and got to talking about our signs. We found out we were both Scorpios. I asked her when her birthday was and she told me she was going to be turning 17 on oct. 26th. I damn near drowned on my coke, I was 19 and having a date with a 16 year old.

I faked a work emergency and got her home asap. She went for a hug, I returned with the "ass-out-half-hug". She tried to kiss me but I wiggled out of her grasp like a ninja. I then explained to her how I felt really uncomformtable with the illegality of such a union and told her we should part ways. 

The date went really well if you deducted the "To Catch A Predator" factor.


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## mossystate (Nov 3, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Yeah, I'm still hoping to find the other half.....



I will check the jars in my garage.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 3, 2007)

mossystate said:


> I will check the jars in my garage.




pickled cawk...that's got to be good!


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## themadhatter (Nov 3, 2007)

Alright, well I'm not sure that this qualifies as a 'bad date' so much as a bad hook-up, but this happened to a suite-mate of mine sophomore year of college (he's the one with the broken arm, it will make sense later). Now I warn you, this is veeerrrryyyyyy graphic, but given the trend in stories from the rest of this thread I should think this belongs here. Let's hit the way-back machine to a time called 2002......

Well, my friend is having a light Saturday night, studying, paper-writing, all the usually student stuff, and decides to turn in fairly early, around 1 a.m. Now, and this is critical to the story, the beds in this room (of which there are two), are lofted, about 7 ft. off of the ground.
So, he turns over to go to sleep, lights off, yadda yadda, then suddenly his roommate busts in all over some girl. Well, the sleepy fellow decides to be a team player and pretend to be asleep. Good on him. So the two drunken lovebirds start getting it on in the middle of the room (these rooms are roughly 10x10, at best 10x12), and he keeps up the charade of being asleep, when all of a sudden...
The girl exclaims: "I want you to do me in the ass."
Needless to say, our team-player is taken aback by this, but still he decides to be cool and let his roommate get on with his business. There is a sound of shifting positions, etc. etc., and then it's back on....until a very short while later....
The 'gentleman,' as we shall call him, exclaims "Oh my god! You're shitting on me!!!!!" At which point he promptly expunges the entire contents of his stomach onto the girl's back.
Despite his best efforts and iron will, at this instance our esteemed hero (the 'sleeping guy'), can no longer control himself and breaks out laughing sooo hard that he falls off of the lofted bed, onto the floor and breaks his arm!
So you can only imagine what the R.A. would see upon walking into this room...

And that, my friends, is the definition of a bad hookup/date.
Oh how I miss you Chapel Hill...


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## Emma (Nov 4, 2007)

Ok I'll play too. 

I met this guy online one afternoon. He had an OK picture, not really my type but he seemed a nice guy and we chatted all afternoon. His picture was quite a normal one you see on a dating site. Naked shoulders (picture was only from there up) sat up against his headboard, he had quite nice spikey brown hair but wasn't smiling. 

We were both a bit bored and since he only lived 10 minutes away we decided to go to the pub that evening. I got ready and walked the 5 minutes to the pub near me. When I arrived he was already there standing outside. He looked nothing like his picture. He was about 10 years older, horrible dress sense, flat horrid hair, shirt tucked into his pants really tight (I tend to go for a different dress type) horrible glasses and worst of all when he opened his mouth he had no teeth apart from one little snaggletooth. 

By this point I'm pretty disapointed and realise that he's not really my type. I decided to stay out for a few drinks with him and then make my excuses. So we have a few beers and stuff and he gets up to do kareoke argh. This really freaks me out so I had a few doubles and a couple of shots of tequilla and he does the same. We both start getting pretty drunk and end up chatting away quite a bit. I decide (probably due to alcohol) that I'll stay and have more drinks but loads of his friends turn up. They're all bouncers, and one woman is like the head doorwoman for the whole of my town. They're all really nice to me and start 'welcoming me to the family' and telling me all sorts of stuff like 'no one will ever mess with me again' and talking about how they run the town and no one gives them trouble. 

They all wanna go to this club I've never been to or even heard of, they go on and on so in the end I agree to go. I get there and it's the worst place ever. Full of fake smoke, real smoke, 50 year old alcoholics, smackheads (heroin addicts) 15 year old teenagers in tracksuits and just loads of scummy people really. Everyone in there is looking at me weird because I'm dressed totally differently to them all and I was really getting scared. Then this woman starts having a really bad asthma attack so we call an ambulence then outside she admits she has some teriminal disease or other so everyone gets really upset. I didn't really care because I don't know her and certainly don't want to be around a load of people all sad about it. She goes off in the ambulence and I realise I'm a good 7 miles from home but thankfully this guy got me a taxi and I went home. 

Cue the next day he starts texting me, saying how he really likes me and stuff. He'd been putting his arm around me all night the night before and trying to touch me and stuff but i'd been politely moving away because I don't like to be mean. So I tell him that he's not really my type but we can still be friends. He constantly made loads of sexual comments to me online then the last straw was when I said I was hungry and he was like "oh i'll give you a jumbo sausage covered in mayonaise" it made me sick so I blocked him and haven't heard from him since.


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## BlondeAmbition (Nov 4, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> Some of these stories are hilarious ... some are just sad. Yikes. Waxwing, there is no way I could top your 'bad date' story, but I have one that is at least cringe-worthy. Not an actual date, but still ....
> 
> When I was in college, I spent a summer semester taking a few extra classes. I was roomed with a very sweet girl, and we got along quite well ... until her boyfriend, who (the story went) had been discharged from the military, showed up one day and basically wanted to live with us. He was a tiny little blowhard of a guy with a foul mouth, extremely ill-mannered, and he quite obviously felt that he was Something Else. Which he was -- we just didn't agree on quite what that special 'something' was. My roommate begged me to let him stay for a few days while they attempted to find more permanent housing for him, and I reluctantly agreed. On the first night, I woke up to the sound of her fervent whispering. Perhaps I wouldn't have heard, if they weren't laying 3 feet above me, in the upper bunk. The conversation went something like this:
> 
> ...



Ahahahaha too funny! Thank you for the chuckle. I would've be laughing much louder if my roommate wasn't sleeping in the other room!

Thanks for sharing *TraciJo67*!


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## Maxx Awesome (Nov 4, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Within 5 minutes of being in my car he unzipped his fly - pulled out his penis and said to me - "What do you think of this???"


That's rule #1: When in doubt, whip it out!

And, despite being single for 2+ years... These stories are making me reluctant to get "back in the scene" so to speak. I'd like to thank every woman that turned me down over the past 2 years for sparing me some potentially horrific consequences...:shocked:


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## Rowan (Nov 4, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> No, not a Raiders of the Lost Ark reference, but spectacularly bad romantic encounters.
> 
> I'm sure there have been threads like this before, but I had a particularly bad date the other night and thought I would share:
> 
> ...



Dear god...i have my own guy pee story...so sad i almost dont want to share...but you know im a loudmouth so i will.

This guy..and this was years ago...we went out..got trashed..came back home...no sex..then again he was so trashed he probably couldnt figure out how to use it anyhow. Anyway...so im laying in bed with him and i hear this noise...he started to pee in my bed!!!! I kicked him out of my bed and i was like "What the fuck is wrong with you???" and he in his drunken stupor realized what he was doing and went to the bathroom. 

I made him sleep on the floor the rest of the night lol


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## Rowan (Nov 4, 2007)

fa_man_stan said:


> I once went on a date with a girl who (as I later discovered) was seriously bi-polar / manic depressive. She went from giddy to nearly suicidal one second to the next. I very quickly figured out what subjects not to talk about, drove her home, gently brought the date to an end and eased myself out of her life.



you know...you really dont have to tell about our date here...not nice.

LMAO

just kidding of course..no..i did not go on a date with stan


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## wrestlingguy (Nov 4, 2007)

Rowan said:


> Dear god...i have my own guy pee story...so sad i almost dont want to share...but you know im a loudmouth so i will.
> 
> This guy..and this was years ago...we went out..got trashed..came back home...no sex..then again he was so trashed he probably couldnt figure out how to use it anyhow. Anyway...so im laying in bed with him and i hear this noise...he started to pee in my bed!!!! I kicked him out of my bed and i was like "What the fuck is wrong with you???" and he in his drunken stupor realized what he was doing and went to the bathroom.
> 
> I made him sleep on the floor the rest of the night lol


 
Jesus.....I'm wishing I could rep you for that pee story! I hope you gave him the pee sheets to sleep with on the floor. That is what i call "piss drunk":bow:


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## Rowan (Nov 4, 2007)

wrestlingguy said:


> Jesus.....I'm wishing I could rep you for that pee story! I hope you gave him the pee sheets to sleep with on the floor. That is what i call "piss drunk":bow:



Yes it was...and i have one of ME...and i'll tell it to you in private sometime...hilarious...just very humiliating lol


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## NancyGirl74 (Nov 4, 2007)

Well, I have a story but it's more about me being a mess than my date... 

He was an FA and that at the time I was new to the whole fat appreciation thing and very new in my journey of self acceptance. I didn't get his very open admiration for my body but I liked it and I liked him. Anyway, on one of our dates we went to a casual diner for lunch. I was wearing my new jeans (the first pair I had had in years) and as he really enjoyed the view I was feeling pretty good about myself. Lunch was great and everything was going well. However, as we were leaving the diner my date said to me "I bet those people in there never saw such a big ass in a pair of jeans before." Now to him this was a compliment and a turn on. To me...well, lets just say I wigged out a tad. I got in my car and sobbed. He tried to explain what he had meant and he apologized over and over. I just told him to get out of my fucking car. Please understand, I rarely swear and I had never cried in front of him before. Plus, we were in my neck of the woods which is to say in the middle of nowhere. He didn't get out of the car but he did give me my space and he never mentioned the jeans again until I did first. When I finally wore them again (after quite a while) he was very reassuring that my ass looked great and was not too big or too small. 

LOL poor guy.


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## Rowan (Nov 4, 2007)

NancyGirl74 said:


> Well, I have a story but it's more about me being a mess than my date...
> 
> He was an FA and that at the time I was new to the whole fat appreciation thing and very new in my journey of self acceptance. I didn't get his very open admiration for my body but I liked it and I liked him. Anyway, on one of our dates we went to a casual diner for lunch. I was wearing my new jeans (the first pair I had had in years) and as he really enjoyed the view I was feeling pretty good about myself. Lunch was great and everything was going well. However, as we were leaving the diner my date said to me "I bet those people in there never saw such a big ass in a pair of jeans before." Now to him this was a compliment and a turn on. To me...well, lets just say I wigged out a tad. I got in my car and sobbed. He tried to explain what he had meant and he apologized over and over. I just told him to get out of my fucking car. Please understand, I rarely swear and I had never cried in front of him before. Plus, we were in my neck of the woods which is to say in the middle of nowhere. He didn't get out of the car but he did give me my space and he never mentioned the jeans again until I did first. When I finally wore them again (after quite a while) he was very reassuring that my ass looked great and was not too big or too small.
> 
> LOL poor guy.



awww....im glad that you like you now though...cuz you're a hottie


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## T'Rina-MsXXL (Nov 4, 2007)

Probably one of the worse dates I ever had was a guy I had gone out with once or twice and who I was REALLY NOT attracted to, but I was willing to hang out with him as a friend and I told him this.
He asked me to go to the YMCA and go swimming with him and so I met him at a local restaraunt and rode in his truck there. I was wearing a dress over my swimsuit which was a skirt suit I really liked, nothing very sexy just black with a wild pattern on it. When we got to the Y we soaked in the hot tub and he kept trying to touch me, sit next to me and when I moved across the tub from him he followed, finally since there were kids sitting on the edge of the tub i told him to stop touching me and moved again. This time he grabbed my feet and put them in his lap and pushed up against me. I jumped up and got in the pool and he just stood on the edge of the pool WATCHING me, watching my every move and wouldn't get in the water, it was creepy. So creepy I told him it was time to leave.
I showered off and put my dress on over a light weight bra and went out to his truck putting my wet suit in the back. The whole way to the restaraunt he talked about how much he wanted to go homewith me and touch me while I basicly clung to the door and wondered if I was going to have to get out at a light or jump. 
Finally we got to my car and As I was getting out I told him I didn't think we would be meeting again. 
He said "Dont tell me I dont get to see these." as he grabbed the neck of my dress and pulled on it and groped my chest.
I said no and got out of the car and ended up leaving my suit in his car.
Finally after a month or so he contacted me and I asked him to bring me my suit to the restaraunt and he said he wouldn't, only bring it to my house. When I made it clear that he was NOT comming to my house he told me he was working as a security gaurd at a festival in the park and that the only other place he would meet me was in the park AFTER DARK. 
NO
Not a chance.
I just gave up on the suit and blocked his messages after that.


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## ripley (Nov 4, 2007)

Don't mean to derail the thread (loving the stories), but where is the fun of getting so drunk you piss or shit yourself? I mean, I've puked, but sheesh.


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## CleverBomb (Nov 5, 2007)

ripley said:


> Don't mean to derail the thread (loving the stories), but where is the fun of getting so drunk you piss or shit yourself? I mean, I've puked, but sheesh.


And if you have to be told by your friends how much fun you had (because you don't remember anything after the fourth shot), did you really have fun

(Something about trees falling in forests goes here.)

-Rusty


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## RevolOggerp (Nov 5, 2007)

W... T... F... !?

That's unbelievable! Jeez!

That's one reason why I try to avoid social gatherings that take place after binge drinking... especially after parties. There's always someone who's wasted. Ugh!

As for me, I've never really had a bad date. If I had to say that there was one, I'd probably say that there was one gal that I was trying to go out on a date with... but her friends kept popping up at the last minute and tagging along with us. One time, I rented a DVD and we agreed to watch the movie together at her place. When I got there, her friends were already there. Apparently, they showed up to talk to her roommate and all ended up staying and watching the movie with us. Another time, I was going to take her out for dinner. When I got to her place to pick her up, her friends were there already. This time, they stopped by to see what was up with her. She said she was going out to dinner with me and they all assumed they were going too. So, I got stuck eating at the restaurant with her and her friends who kept blabbing away all night long.


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## BothGunsBlazing (Nov 5, 2007)

Ahahah .. this isn't really a disaster date, but since this thread is randomly or was on the topic. I was at work eating starbursts one day and I had to use the bathroom. I guess the last thing I had was a cherry one. I go and use the urinal and before I flush I'm like .. ew candy mouth .. so I spit in the urinal and look down and must have gone completely retarded because I was like .. 

HOLY SHIT. I AM PISSING BLOOD. 

this is the end .. this is the end .. I am diseased .. oh god oh god .. 

*leaves bathroom and googles what it could be a symptom of immediately*

for some reason Wikipedia failed to mention that eating a red starburst and spitting into the toilet is an excellent way to make it appear that something is horribly wrong.

haha I'm not sure if I should be hitting submit reply or not. This is all sorts of nasty and irrelevant.


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## BothGunsBlazing (Nov 5, 2007)

I have a few bad date stories, but they all make me sound incredibly shallow.


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## Rowan (Nov 5, 2007)

I hold my alcohol VERY well...its not my fault if others cant


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## Canonista (Nov 5, 2007)

Rowan said:


> I hold my alcohol VERY well...its not my fault if others cant



You can hold mine while you're at it. I don't drink on dates. I have two relatives who died from alcoholism related deaths, and two friends who have permanent lifelong disabilities from being hit by drunk drivers. Also, I exist because my mother got drunk and was raped.

Add to that my nearly 7 years as a cab driver seeing drunks every day. I watched more than one "regular" fall down that slippery slope over those years. It's an ugly decline.

A couple drinks with dinner is fine, but I get really uncomfortable around people visible signs of intoxication. I start looking for reasons to get them home and end the date.


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## Mitchapalooza (Nov 5, 2007)

My first date that ever went real bad was with a girl that I had met online. she was real nice and we went to eat and my credit card didnt work so she paid for it (which was embarrasing) and then she was very very intelligent and worked for the EPA as some sort of scientist(which most would say is awesome). she was so smart that all she talked about was molecular stuff that I didnt understand. She probably thought I was the biggest idiot. I called her after that and got the hint. She was a bbw and intelligent so it was at first like a dream come true but I guess I was not on her level ya know


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## Mitchapalooza (Nov 5, 2007)

My second dat that went bad was with a lady that had no cell phone ettiquite and would not put her cell down for a minute and the entire time at the restaraunt she was talking about some drama with an ex that used to beat on her to all her friends and we didnt really even get to talk


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## Admiral_Snackbar (Nov 5, 2007)

My first foray into online dating involved an online friend who hooked me up with a female friend who lived in Nebraska. After talking quite nicely online and on the phone with her for over a month, along with the regular correspondence of photos, she came into town to spend a weekend with me.

Everything was fine until when, after she arrived, she indicated that she had some medical issues I need to be concerned about. When she unpacked her bag and took out a small box of meds, I got worried. She was on about a dozen different medications for various conditions and neglected to tell me she had severe epilepsy and a host of other vestibular issues (nothing STD-related). After a long talk about things in general, it segued into her rather lengthy history of abuse by past boyfriends and other psychological issues (apparently some of the meds she had were anti-psychotics), she stated she had fallen in love with me and wanted to stay there for a while (1-2 weeks). 

At this point I said as delicately as possible (apparently being the only 'nice guy' she's ever known) that the feeling was not mutual, and that she was in fact going to go home that weekend, she basically had an anxiety attack and said she felt like the stress was going to trigger a seizure. Here I was, a person I knew only a month, getting into a situation where I might have but to call an EMT and get her treatment. There was the added concern that she might think that I was abusing her as well and would call the local police. It went from very weird to unreal in the space of 6 hours. 

After locking herself in my office and calling her friend in NE, he managed to calm her down enough and arranged to get her at the bus depot. I still wonder if in a way I was dreaming the whole thing. My friend was mortified over it, realizing only afterwards that she was very dishonest about what her intentions were. When we had been shopping earlier in the weekend I hadn't realized she bought about a dozen little postcards, and after she went back home, and even after repeated phonecalls that it was not going to move forward, it was not going to work out, I started getting the cards at the rate of about one per week, with cutesy little notes on them (apparently while she was in La La Land) about how she "loved" our time together and "hoped we could get together soon for a wonderful weekend!" It was a very strange combination of sadness for her and fear for the unknown. I kept wondering if I would suddenly get inundated with magazine subscriptions or find her on my doorstep one morning with a huge suitcase.

Since I believe that you do learn something from even the worst experiences, it did increase the accuracy of my Psycho Chick (Qu'est-ce que c'est?) Detector, not to mention forever after ensuring that anything even approaching a blind date would require a completely neutral territory for first contact. I remember my friend in NE feeling so bad he offered to reimburse me for all the money I spent that weekend out of a sort of dude camaraderie.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 5, 2007)

Mitchapalooza said:


> My second dat that went bad was with a lady that had no cell phone ettiquite and would not put her cell down for a minute and the entire time at the restaraunt she was talking about some drama with an ex that used to beat on her to all her friends and we didnt really even get to talk




Jeez, how rude. Sounds like you didn't miss much by not getting date #2 with that one.


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## mossystate (Nov 5, 2007)

I am on one right now...the asshole is giving me grief about being online....where have all the good men gone...


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## Canonista (Nov 5, 2007)

mossystate said:


> I am on one right now...the asshole is giving me grief about being online....where have all the good men gone...



Hey, if he doesn't love your family he's not good enough for you!


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## TraciJo67 (Nov 5, 2007)

mossystate said:


> I am on one right now...the asshole is giving me grief about being online....where have all the good men gone...



Hey, so am I ... and mine is taking umbrage with the fact that my husband and child have tagged along. What is it with picky men nowadays? Fuck 'em, I say. Well, not literally. Well ...


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## mossystate (Nov 5, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> Hey, so am I ... and mine is taking umbrage with the fact that my husband and child have tagged along. What is it with picky men nowadays? Fuck 'em, I say. Well, not literally. Well ...



My date is now sitting on the arm of the couch...and I feel something poking the back of my neck....pfft.


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## TraciJo67 (Nov 5, 2007)

mossystate said:


> My date is now sitting on the arm of the couch...and I feel something poking the back of my neck....pfft.



Don't worry, hon. I think it's just a lamb chop.


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## mossystate (Nov 5, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> Don't worry, hon. I think it's just a lamb chop.




Well, he IS bleating...hmmmm..guess some roleplay...


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## bluewine (Nov 5, 2007)

I love dating, I think I am a good date. I am not real good in the relationship arena. It's sad to hear stories of dates that go bad.








Waxwing said:


> No, not a Raiders of the Lost Ark reference, but spectacularly bad romantic encounters.
> 
> I'm sure there have been threads like this before, but I had a particularly bad date the other night and thought I would share:
> 
> ...


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## ActionPif (Nov 6, 2007)

You know folks, nothing really riles up that dormant, but volcanic, fury within myself like a bad date. They're just such an inexcusable, barbarically unfair waste of life and, perhaps worst of all, nothing can ever be learned or dug up from such a bottomless pit of irrapturous despair.

One such example, indeed, happened to me, around Thanks,taking time last year. Hark, I happened upon a date that looked to be decent to the eyes enough, certainly what I would look for in a prospective date. 

Now you will excuse me for sharing this detail, which I'm sure is a common practice with those seeking dates: I like to feel my dates before committing to them. Not intensively, no, as one would not want to ruin some of the hidden treasures of surprise and wonderment that a good date can bring to you. But enough to get a general idea if the date is even worth my time.

Well, that night, my date felt just the way I had always dreamed: moist, soft, and extremely, dare I say, appetizing. "Splendid," I so shortsightedly exclaimed to myself at the time, "this will surely be my best date yet!"

Without any further hesitation, I pulled my date toward me with fiery, impassioned precision. I, more gently, reeled the object of my affection towards my mouth, waiting for that climatic moment oh-so-breathlessly. And the moment came......










and the damn thing had a pit it in. What a waste of my time. Worst.Date.Ever.


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## themadhatter (Nov 6, 2007)

ActionPif said:


> and the damn thing had a pit it in. What a waste of my time. Worst.Date.Ever.



Haha, you cheeky bastard. Well done, standing ovation!


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## ActionPif (Nov 6, 2007)

themadhatter said:


> Haha, you cheeky bastard. Well done, standing ovation!




Only the cheekiest in bastardry for my friends here at the Dimensions Love Depot. But, honestly, I do love a good date...especially with cream cheese, some sugar, and maybe even a walnut in there on top.

Tell me...which date am I talking about NOW?  :bow:


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## SMA413 (Nov 6, 2007)

Action, you crack me up.



As far as bad dates go, do awkward dates count? On Saturday night, I met up with a friend of mine from high school who I haven't talked to since junior year probably. We had just recently started talking again and he was coming in town to visit his family. The whole night was filled with constant talking and then periods of silence. I think what made it worse was the uncertainty of the date status. Was it really a date or just two friends hanging out? I dunno- but he and I made plans to get together again in a few weeks when he comes back for Thanksgiving. We'll see what happens.


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## cold comfort (Nov 6, 2007)

ActionPif said:


> You know folks, nothing really riles up that dormant, but volcanic, fury within myself like a bad date. They're just such an inexcusable, barbarically unfair waste of life and, perhaps worst of all, nothing can ever be learned or dug up from such a bottomless pit of irrapturous despair.
> 
> One such example, indeed, happened to me, around Thanks,taking time last year. Hark, I happened upon a date that looked to be decent to the eyes enough, certainly what I would look for in a prospective date.
> 
> ...




muahahahahahahahaha. god i love seeing your posts. i'm going to start stalking your recent posts link on your profile.

just thought i should make you aware of this.

well done, sir. well done indeed.


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## cold comfort (Nov 6, 2007)

SMA413 said:


> Action, you crack me up.
> 
> 
> 
> As far as bad dates go, do awkward dates count? On Saturday night, I met up with a friend of mine from high school who I haven't talked to since junior year probably. We had just recently started talking again and he was coming in town to visit his family. The whole night was filled with constant talking and then periods of silence. I think what made it worse was the uncertainty of the date status. Was it really a date or just two friends hanging out? I dunno- but he and I made plans to get together again in a few weeks when he comes back for Thanksgiving. We'll see what happens.




awkward dates are definitely no fun, i can vouch for that too ... but considering you have a, uh, future date pencilled in and also taking into consideration some of the previous stories on here ... if that's the worse you've seen, man, i would count your lucky stars, gal! :happy:

good luck with the next one!


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## themadhatter (Nov 6, 2007)

ActionPif said:


> Only the cheekiest in bastardry for my friends here at the Dimensions Love Depot. But, honestly, I do love a good date...especially with cream cheese, some sugar, and maybe even a walnut in there on top.
> 
> Tell me...which date am I talking about NOW?  :bow:



Wow, you kind of make it sound like a hardware store.....a hardware store I would frequent, but a hardware store nonetheless.
And just one more time: Hardware store.


...I'm thinking this is going to be incredibly misconstrued. Oh well!


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## cold comfort (Nov 6, 2007)

hardware store.


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## RevolOggerp (Nov 9, 2007)

Bad dates suck. Sometimes, my bad dates would be with my ex-girlfriend... starting fights for no good reason. Ugh!


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## Admiral_Snackbar (Nov 9, 2007)

ActionPif said:


> and the damn thing had a pit it in. What a waste of my time. Worst.Date.Ever.


 A lady walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre...so the bartender gives her one.


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## lostNScad (Nov 9, 2007)

RevolOggerp said:


> Bad dates suck. Sometimes, my bad dates would be with my ex-girlfriend... starting fights for no good reason. Ugh!



I think this is a good point...bad dates are not always with new people...sometimes if you are a in a relationship that is headed nowhere the time you spend together seems tedious...yet neither of you are willing to just call it off....one of those weird things


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## CandySmooch (Nov 19, 2007)

I had met this guy online - I don't remember how, but we were both EMT's - had common interests - had hit it off on the phone etc etc. I don't remember the initial first meeting. He was decent enough to go out with a few more times. We both worked night shifts and had planned a late date. He came over that early morning after getting off work and we went to sleep (no sex). A few hours into sleeping - I noticed this horrible body odor........WTF? I wasn't able to sleep any longer so I woke up. He slept the day away as many of us night shifters do - while I started getting ready for our date that night - I came and went from the room making plenty of noise so he'd wake up. He was snoring loudly and the odor kept getting worse! It was horrific, funny how I hadn't noticed it before on our previous meetings. It was coming from his pores, his breath - it just hung in the air! 

No matter, I kept trying to wake him up so we could go on our "date". I had been ready for hours and was growing tired of waiting for him.......seriously how long can one person sleep in one stretch? We had gone to sleep at 6am.........it was now MIDNIGHT!! He slept in my apt. for 18 hours! Not what I had planned when I offered for him to come over. Finally he gets up and wants to go for pizza an hour drive away. I'm pretty peeved about the whole deal, but happy he's awake at least. 

So we get to "His" all night pizza joint right after all the bars let out so its crowded, loud & chock full of drunks. Romantic.....he walks up and orders 2 single slices of pizza & pays for it immediately, he didn't ask me any kind that I liked and I didn't bring any money with me. So he gets his pizza, sits down and proceeds to inhale it, I was sooo hungry but embarrassed about the whole situation afterall we had taken MY car and used MY gas, he NEVER came off as being the type of guy to not pay for a lady. He then asks why I didn't get anything, I told him I had left my money at home. I can't remember if he offered to get me some or not nor did I care at this point as it was 3am and I just wanted to go home and have him leave. 

We get home and he kisses me, but we've made it clear there would be no sex involved so he proceeds to dry hump me all over my apt. and his stinkiness is there. Now previous to this point we had shared some very emotional things between us, things I had opened up too soon about. ONE being that for a long time I blamed myself for my fathers death (he collapsed on the kitchen floor at home with me there, I'm an EMT so I performed CPR and "worked" his code to the hospital where 2 weeks later we had to "pull" the plug. He never recovered). 

So after this idiot leaves after his dry humpfest he seemed to enjoy - I knew never again. I still chatted with him online but that was it. He wanted to see me again in which I politely declined using the "better friends" blah blah blah. I had never picked up the crazy vibe from him, but after that he kept calling my phone.......repeatedly.............all night..................I had to shut it off..............when I turned it on the next day...........I shit you not he left me over 20 voicemails..........and they were crazy!!!!!! 

Most of them he was screaming I was a murderer, I killed my father and he was calling the cops on me and I was going to stand trial for it and go to jail and how I was nothing but a crackwhore......where was I going to get my next crack fix.......heroin addict bitch.......who was I going to fuck to get my drugs...........(Hello I'm 300lbs here, how could I possibly do crack, never touched the stuff.) Just insane stuff! I was baffled and quite frankly scared. Who does that? He had to have been leaving me messages all through the night and the funny thing was he was an EMT at a Children's Hospital because he loved working with kids.........his name was Monty and I'll never forget his high pitched screams calling me a murderer and crackwhore. Deeply disturbed dude who hid it so well. They all do..........


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## Violet_Beauregard (Nov 19, 2007)

OH MY LORD..... I hope you changed your phone number. Good God... it's a wonder you managed to make it thru that one alive.... Thank goodness.






CandySmooch said:


> I had met this guy online - I don't remember how, but we were both EMT's - had common interests - had hit it off on the phone etc etc. I don't remember the initial first meeting. He was decent enough to go out with a few more times. We both worked night shifts and had planned a late date. He came over that early morning after getting off work and we went to sleep (no sex). A few hours into sleeping - I noticed this horrible body odor........WTF? I wasn't able to sleep any longer so I woke up. He slept the day away as many of us night shifters do - while I started getting ready for our date that night - I came and went from the room making plenty of noise so he'd wake up. He was snoring loudly and the odor kept getting worse! It was horrific, funny how I hadn't noticed it before on our previous meetings. It was coming from his pores, his breath - it just hung in the air!
> 
> No matter, I kept trying to wake him up so we could go on our "date". I had been ready for hours and was growing tired of waiting for him.......seriously how long can one person sleep in one stretch? We had gone to sleep at 6am.........it was now MIDNIGHT!! He slept in my apt. for 18 hours! Not what I had planned when I offered for him to come over. Finally he gets up and wants to go for pizza an hour drive away. I'm pretty peeved about the whole deal, but happy he's awake at least.
> 
> ...


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## T'Rina-MsXXL (Nov 20, 2007)

CandySmooch said:


> I noticed this horrible body odor............



Sounds like he is the one on drugs, which as I am sure you have run into doing EMT work can reek from the pores


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## Jes (Nov 20, 2007)

T'Rina-MsXXL said:


> Sounds like he is the one on drugs, which as I am sure you have run into doing EMT work can reek from the pores



that would explain the 18 hour sleep fest, too. And quite possibly the insane shrieking.

either way, he sounds like a real winner!


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## CandySmooch (Nov 20, 2007)

Jes said:


> that would explain the 18 hour sleep fest, too. And quite possibly the insane shrieking.
> 
> either way, he sounds like a real winner!



Unfortunately I've had my fair share of "winners"........this is a thread about Bad Dates........not bad relationships........I could share a few more insane moments from my ex-fiance' (not the dude in question above). 

But that would be a lengthy post, but a highly interesting read.


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## snuggletiger (Nov 20, 2007)

CandySmooch said:


> Unfortunately I've had my fair share of "winners"........this is a thread about Bad Dates........not bad relationships........I could share a few more insane moments from my ex-fiance' (not the dude in question above).
> 
> But that would be a lengthy post, but a highly interesting read.



Yikes that's a lot of bad luck.


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## CandySmooch (Nov 20, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> Yikes that's a lot of bad luck.



Unfortunately now that I'm older, I've seen a cycle I must figure out how to break. I believe I must show something that attracts crazy/abusive/stupid men who take advantage of me. Of my 3 serious relationships (not the whack jobs in between), one was a chronic cheater, the next was insanely posessive & became abusive when I tried to end it (resulting in felony property damage & jail time,). Both were police officers too by the way. 

My current relationship with my husband - I realize he is undiagnosed bi-polor - when things are up the relationship is what I'd like to be in - when its down I'm ready to take my son and leave him and all my poessions behind including my first home I worked so hard to buy that is in my name. 

The problem is I'm so optimisitc & naive that I don't realize whats going on until I'm in far too deep and when I realize I can't continue, things always go realllll bad. Its part of a reason why I'm here on this site - to figure out myself.


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## snuggletiger (Nov 20, 2007)

Instability is never good. As I get older I realize peace and tranquility have alot more meaning. Sorry about the undiagnosed bi-polar, that kind of walking on eggshells environment cannot possibly have any upside.


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## T'Rina-MsXXL (Nov 20, 2007)

CandySmooch said:


> I believe I must show something that attracts crazy/abusive/stupid men who take advantage of me.




I honestly believe that abusers can sence who will let them abuse them, and so you have to stop being a victim even unintentionally and auawares.
You might consider taking self defense, even if you are never faced with phyiscal abuse the confidence it gives you and the ability to know you stand a chance in that situation might help change your "scent" to them.
Most women who are abused in any way are not intentional victims, right up until they fall in the same hole again on a different street, then like you said you need to figure out why you do it.
I have been lucky, I have never been abused by a man, but then I have been told by one guy who I later found out was abusive that I "put off too strong a vibe and guys like women who act like they are not in such control of themselves." Six months later he was in prison for asault on his girlfriend and her kids.
I would rather chase off 80% of the guys by being self confident, the ones who want me to be weak, and if it means I might get with the 20% who respect a strong woman and will treat me well.
Not that I think that those are the numbers but my point is I would rather have little if any chance with a man in a relationship then allow myself to be mistreated.


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## sweet&fat (Nov 21, 2007)

Wow- this thread makes me feel so much better... I'm notorious among my friends as having the worst first-date luck ever. One friend actually suggested that I write a book of short stories or send a proposal to This American Life. However, I now realize that my experiences can only be called mundane in comparison to being pissed on!  Here's a brief sampling:

I met one guy for coffee who announced as soon as we sat down that (surprise!) he's getting married next week and just wants a fling. I got up and left...

another showed up for our second date on drugs (he was a psychiatrist and was likely dipping in his own pool) and walked around an art exhibition w/me at the Met clutching his cell phone and a handful of change as if they were life preservers, chuckling to himself and shushing me when I tried to speak to him... charming...

Yet another was a pompous ass who couldn't believe that his previous dates couldn't or wouldn't send him email in French/Spanish/Italian, etc. and yelled at me (and I do mean yelled) over dinner that I wasn't "jewish enough" and that girls like me shouldn't waste their time studying other cultures (I'm an art historian- major field is 20th c European) instead of their own, and that any wife of his would "know that millions of people are out to kill her and her children at any moment." Check please! I'm well aware of anti-Semitism, but I'm not sure I'd include paranoia in the list of things I look for in a partner... yikes! 

Such is the dating pool in NYC!


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 21, 2007)

sweet&fat said:


> I met one guy for coffee who announced as soon as we sat down that (surprise!) he's getting married next week and just wants a fling. I got up and left...



That little devil that guides me sometimes would have told him that I just wanted free dinner first...and THEN left


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## sweet&fat (Nov 21, 2007)

hmm- how do you delete an extraneous post?? (see below)


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## sweet&fat (Nov 21, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> That little devil that guides me sometimes would have told him that I just wanted free dinner first...and THEN left



Wow- I like you! I'll have to remember that for next time... :bow:


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## gravity.plan (May 8, 2008)

I don't have any great stories to add.. but had to say this thread rocks.

It definitely seems like the girls have to weed through more sketchy types than the guys do.


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