# FFA's: could You See Yourself Dating a Skinny Man?



## StrawberiPai (Jan 26, 2009)

I know this is a sensitive subject so I'm approaching it with caution... :bow:

I've always wondered what anyone else would say to this question. I'm really wondering if I'm just a horrible person when I say that I really can't see myself dating a thin guy.

It's not as if I would say no to a guy just because he's not bigger, but when I close my eyes and think about the guy I want to be with, he's always been big. If I try to force myself (and I do have to force myself) to picture a slender-type of boy, it doesn't feel right. =/

Maybe it's just because I'm only comfortable imagining, like, my DREAM guy and anything less then that isn't what I want? Or am I just a bad person? 

What do you guys say? >> When you picture a 'boyfriend' in your head, is he always bigger?

On a side note, am I the only one who imagines fake boyfriends? XD


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## SoliloquyOfaSiren (Jan 26, 2009)

StrawberiPai said:


> I know this is a sensitive subject so I'm approaching it with caution... :bow:
> 
> I've always wondered what anyone else would say to this question. I'm really wondering if I'm just a horrible person when I say that I really can't see myself dating a thin guy.
> 
> ...



Eh as I have said many times...personality is everything to me. I've dated thin guys, muscular guys, and chubby guys. I can definitely say I prefer my men to be bigger, but I'm not going to ask someone to be something theyre not. So if I did happen to be attracted to a thin guy and things worked out I wouldn;t mind being with him....although the physical attraction for me wouldnt really be there


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## Love.Metal (Jan 26, 2009)

My boyfriend IS skinny...I went from dating a 350lb. BHM *drools* to dating a normal, 150lb. guy. 

It's a helluva transition, but personality and morals win out over physicality. 


Oh, but I do totally have an obese imaginary boyfriend.
He's effin' hot. 

<3


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## SoliloquyOfaSiren (Jan 26, 2009)

Love.Metal said:


> My boyfriend IS skinny...I went from dating a 350lb. BHM *drools* to dating a normal, 150lb. guy.
> 
> It's a helluva transition, but personality and morals win out over physicality.
> 
> ...



I totally agree *nods*


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## escapist (Jan 26, 2009)

I think any time your not with your "Dream" partner your selling yourself short. I can't imagine going "If only they were this or that" I've been there done that. 10 years down the road you start doing and thinking crazy things. So do yourself a favor, love the relationship your in, with the person your with. Don't waist time and energy hoping for it to be something different than it is.

Or as Opra said it  :

Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough. - Oprah Winfrey :bow:


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## WhiteHotRazor (Jan 26, 2009)

escapist said:


> I think any time your not with your "Dream" partner your selling yourself short.



Stephen Stills would disagree with you.


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## kinkykitten (Jan 26, 2009)

I've dated a couple of skinnier men in the past, and I have to admit they did nothing for me. I was sexually frustrated all the time. To go with that, they were total JERKS, If they had been decent guys with personality then that would have been a different thing all together.

Now I never have to worry about this issue. I've found the BHM I want to spend the rest of my life with of whom I'm attracted to in everyway.. Mentally, personality wise and asthetically. :wubu:


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## SoliloquyOfaSiren (Jan 26, 2009)

kinkykitten said:


> I've dated a couple of skinnier men in the past, and I have to admit they did nothing for me. I was sexually frustrated all the time. To go with that, they were total JERKS, If they had been decent guys with personality then that would have been a different thing all together.
> 
> Now I never have to worry about this issue. I've found the BHM I want to spend the rest of my life with. :wubu:



Ahhh btw whens the wedding??


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## kinkykitten (Jan 26, 2009)

SoliloquyOfaSiren said:


> Ahhh btw whens the wedding??



 We are hoping May. I can't wait :smitten:


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## SoliloquyOfaSiren (Jan 26, 2009)

kinkykitten said:


> We are hoping May. I can't wait :smitten:



Aww  too bad youre overseas...I would love to have been part of such a beautiful union


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## Ichida (Jan 27, 2009)

I have dated skinny and chubby and skinny does nothing for me sexually - and if there is no sexual tension they are just friends in the end!

My guy was thinner when we started dating BUT he loves eating, so I got to enjoy that. I would love him thin or thick but he groans (half heartedly now) that he will never lose his water wings (love handles) around me.

Its funny, before I met him i dreamed of his body type, nice and chubby as my dream guy.

Don't settle, but don't let some FUN relationships pass you by either!


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## Melian (Jan 27, 2009)

My dating days are over, as Im now engaged to the sexiest, most amazing man Ive ever met *gushes, but when I was still on the market, I dated men of all sizes. The thinner ones were usually chosen based on personality and often had pretty faces, so they werent horrible or anything  just didnt really do it for me. Thats cool though, since everyone needs to go through a weeding out phase where they narrow down the qualities that they absolutely need in a partner. 

By the time I got to my current man, I was totally aware of what I wantedand he had it! He is brilliant, hilarious, loving, has excellent taste in every form of media, as well as clothing, hes hygienic, extremely tall, has a perfect face and meets my squishiness requirements (yes, eventually a range of equally-acceptable body types became obvious).

Anyway, IF I was still dating, I would probably never date another skinny guy simply because Ive learned that his body just isnt sexually appealing, and that can end up causing huge problems later on, as well as totally overshadowing his positive traits.


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## anybodys (Jan 27, 2009)

I don't think you're a bad person for knowing what you want. I dated a skinny guy and while it was fun some of the time, there was always that frustration that he physically wasn't *enough.* Not to sound mean, but that's what it was-- I felt like all my meals were delicious but tiny and too infrequent.


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## MaryElizabethAntoinette (Jan 27, 2009)

Love.Metal said:


> My boyfriend IS skinny...I went from dating a 350lb. BHM *drools* to dating a normal, 150lb. guy.
> 
> It's a helluva transition, but personality and morals win out over physicality.
> 
> ...



I have an obese imaginary boyfriend too!! He's my Jiminy. (it's funny cuz Chris hates Jiminy so much, he's just _that_ real.).




But on another note... to answer the question... I've dated many thin guys before for personality, but personality doesn't cut it all the time.

My ex boyfriend Graham was a sponsored mountain biker, a sound engineer, a multi-millionare, and eccentrically intelligent to boot. But he was fit. No matter how much my mind loved him, and no matter how well we worked together... I was sexually starved. 
After all, as an FFA, there was no way I could completely ignore my instincts and just pretend I didn't need a fatter man to be happy. 
So, I ended up leaving him, for Chris. 

It's funny, I got sick of dating men for their personalities, so when I turned 18, I purposely went out to look for a fat man. I waited for a while too... cuz I wasn't going to lie and join these sites before I turned 18 (hense why I joined on my 18th birthday). So now my birthday is also my dimensions anniversary... I'm a goof.


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## Diego (Jan 27, 2009)

I have much versatility in my taste and also in bed.  So with an open mind i can date a lot of the guys.


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## Cors (Jan 27, 2009)

I am generally attracted to older, fatter women and used to date them exclusively but I have been with a younger, thinner male for almost a year now and it is the most stable loving relationship I have ever had. I was so besotted with his personality that I would have been okay with the idea of having a celibate relationship. The physical attraction did come later, which was a pleasant surprise since we didn't actually expect that. 

However, as much as I love him, I don't think I can deal with it if he actually looks and acts male because that is too much of a turn-off. So yes, I can be with someone who isn't "my type" but it has to be someone I am at worst neutral about, and they definitely have to make up for it in other ways.

I don't have an imaginary big girlfriend, but I occasionally poke at his balls and tell him how good it might be if he had been born female.


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## cammy (Jan 27, 2009)

Been with all types - I absolutely love men.

Although fat is my ultimate preference.


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## ThatOneGirl (Jan 27, 2009)

I don't think I've ever done "skinny", but last year I dated a really athletic jock-type guy. He was easily the 'best' guy I've had in terms of personality and knowing how to treat a girl, but his body did less than nothing for me, which really sucked. There was a brief period where his coach told him he had to gain at least 50 pounds to keep playing football, and I was ridiculously excited. Then he decided to quit football instead. Then I broke up with him...not for that exact reason, but it certainly didn't help haha. After that I promised myself not to be with anyone I wasn't attracted to, which means I don't think I've even looked twice at a guy who wasn't at least chubby in a loooong time.


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## Tad (Jan 27, 2009)

Curses, cant rep any of the posts that I want to rep!

Mary-Antoinette, I love how non-random your story is. Cool to see how your mind works.

Cors: for some reason your post had me all but giggling, especially that last bit! I shouldnt laugh at what is a real and true quandary, but the mental image is just too funny. Although just how hes avoided looking male for all of this time I dont know, that must take some talent!

Cammy: I love how succinct that is. Great to see someone who has it worked out that clearly


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## Cors (Jan 27, 2009)

edx said:


> Cors: for some reason your post had me all but giggling, especially that last bit! I shouldnt laugh at what is a real and true quandary, but the mental image is just too funny. Although just how hes avoided looking male for all of this time I dont know, that must take some talent!



He doesn't have to try I guess. Exceptionally pale, thin, somewhat delicate features, minimal blond soft body hair and shaved everywhere else. I do love androgynous and butch women so its not too much of a stretch. ;D


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## Esther (Jan 27, 2009)

That does not at all make you a bad person!! Everybody has preferences, and you really can't help that. I understand that dating is not about imagining a "perfect" person and then seeking that person out, shooting everyone down who doesn't fit your requirements - but it's also not about dating people you're completely unattracted to just because you feel bad about those preferences.

And in response to your question - yes, I have dated slim guys, and it was alright. I found I just prefer heavier guys, but I never would have known that if I hadn't dated different types!


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## Amandy (Jan 27, 2009)

Have I? yes
Would I again? no


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## persimmon (Jan 28, 2009)

I think thin guys can be sexy and good-looking, and I've dated a few in my time--hell, my TV crush is Spike from Buffy, and he's all about the angular--but they're sexy in a different, more generalised way for me than fat guys.

p


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## CherryRVA (Jan 28, 2009)

I have dated thin guys and I have dated heavier guys.

I vastly prefer BHMs. My first really great sexual experience was with a BHM and I guess I was chasing that ever since, until I met my current guy.

Perhaps it was my failing in choosing the wrong type of person, but it just seemed like every skinny guy I was with before was a closet FA. They'd be just fine with us in private, but around other people, they just didn't want to fess up. Then I was with an out and out FA for 7 years (my ex husband), but he was rather controlling and boring at the same time. We just didn't match at all and he was not skinny, but not BHM either.

I have to say following my heart and dating a BHM has made me a much happier lady and welcoming a 3rd into our relationship, a BBW, has made me even more joyful. :wubu:


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## Bellyjeansgirl (Jan 30, 2009)

persimmon said:


> I think thin guys can be sexy and good-looking, and I've dated a few in my time--hell, my TV crush is Spike from Buffy, and he's all about the angular--but they're sexy in a different, more generalised way for me than fat guys.
> 
> p



I think they can be insanely sexy. Spike - agreed!

But when I think about me actually being with him in bed, I'll pass. It just doesn't do anything for me. 

On another note, I'm finding myself incredibly attracted to a guy that had his stomach stapled. Mind you, he somehow managed to gain back some weight even with his surgery. He's at 260 now. 

I *should* be frustrated that he can't eat a lot, but I find his current weight completely attractive. I'm so confused. Generally I'd shoot for over 300, but I can't get this guy out of my mind.

I know he's never going to have abs so perhaps that's a consolation, but I wouldn't even mind it if he dropped some more weight. (Not that I'd encourage it of course!) 

Either way, I'm completely boggled by my latest object of every wet dream.


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## bexy (Jan 31, 2009)

Cors said:


> He doesn't have to try I guess. Exceptionally pale, thin, somewhat delicate features, minimal blond soft body hair and shaved everywhere else. I do love androgynous and butch women so its not too much of a stretch. ;D



This makes me want to see pics!


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## ntwp (Jan 31, 2009)

I dated both thin and fat guys before meeting my husband, who is fat. There was a point in my life when I finally realized I could never be with a thin man, and I'm glad I never looked back. I figure with how many fat guys are out there, and lack of FFAs, that it would be doing a disservice to myself and to the fat guys out there to not go with my gut (no pun intended) feeling and do what I wanted, which was be with a sexy fat man (done and done!)


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## jujuspice93 (Feb 23, 2009)

Honestly, i've dated both and I have absolutely adored both. It's always been what I wanted in a man and who he was rather than what he looked like. I've dated two huge men and one was a jerk while the other I thought was the love of my life. I've dated many single men and one of them I thought was intensely passionate (but all the ladies know how that goes). Right now I'm with my favorite guy that, although isn't jiggly or has a huge ass or large belly...... sorry, got lost on a tangent, he fullfills me in the way he simply cares so much and he loves me so much. So yeah, I'm a screaming FFA and I'm into ssbhms, but my guy loves me entirely and we click. I can give up my preferences if he makes me so happy.


.....that doesn't mean i can't look or flirt :eat2::eat2:


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## viracocha (Feb 23, 2009)

StrawberiPai said:


> On a side note, am I the only one who imagines fake boyfriends? XD



Oh, definitely not. I love playing with the "what if..." buttons. ~~_what if he was 6'4", and dark haired, with soulful eyes and a utility belt?_ :smitten:

Really, I don't believe myself when I say I'll only date someone with _x_ trait. Of the boys I've seriously dated, none of them (granted all 2) have fit any template. I've certainly grown from knowing the people around me, especially ones that I wouldn't have thought to get to know better.

There is a caveat: if someone dates me, chances are they won't be skinny for the duration of the relationship. I bake way too much for my primary taste tester to have a 30" waist. :eat2:


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## chicken legs (Feb 24, 2009)

i have dated many shapes, sizes, and body fat percentages, but i go gaga over the really big ones...:eat2::eat1:


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## Olga_NYC (Feb 25, 2009)

Personally, I wouldn't want a thin guy. It may sound shallow but hey, most people won't date someone who is overweight and that's shallow too lol 

I am okay with "football player" type of guys, not skinny though. 

200 lbs and over should be good, depending on their height. (for example, I'll take a 180 lbs guy but then he should be under 5'9). 

No 6 ft, 150 lbs guys. That's unacceptable LOL


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## AnyaDServal (Feb 26, 2009)

I've dated guys of all body types literally haha. My first boyfriend was 6'2" and only 120 lbs (no he wasn't anorexic, he had a genetic condition that made him that thin- Marfan's syndrome)...who woulda thunk that I would end up years later with a guy the same height, and 300 lbs! 

And yes, I definitely prefer bigger ^_^. Although there are guys I absolutely adore who are thinner (Christian Bale for instance). It kind of depends you know


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## rabbitislove (Feb 26, 2009)

I have my deviations, and have slept with thinner men.

However, I usually keep the whole thin boy thin a fantasy, because they'll never be as good in real life as sex with a BHM.

Which totally makes me shallow, but Im far from caring...


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## Lavasse (Feb 26, 2009)

As a fat man, ladies I thank you for being loyal to the cause


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## Melian (Feb 27, 2009)

Lavasse said:


> As a fat man, ladies I thank you for being loyal to the cause



*flashes you a BHM gang sign*

*realizes she is a small white/Asian girl*

*epic fails*

oh....


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## stefanie (Mar 2, 2009)

Were I single, I would probably only want to get into a relationship with a (very) fat man. It's just how I roll ...


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## StarMoon (Mar 2, 2009)

viracocha said:


> _what if he was 6'4", and dark haired, with soulful eyes and a utility belt?_ :smitten:



Sounds like the beginning of a 70's porno flick ;


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## geekybibabe (Mar 3, 2009)

I've understood that I was passionately attracted to fat men since I was 15 or 16, but it didn't stop me from dating thin ones, and I eventually married one. 

I'm still over the moon for fat guys (and as I have an open marriage, I sometimes have the opportunity to enjoy them up close...), but at least in a life partner, I am more interested in brains and values.


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## bremerton (Apr 22, 2009)

i have dated thin guys, but i'm just really not sexually attracted to thin guys in general...


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## LoveBHMS (Apr 23, 2009)

I've always thought there had to be something like the Kinsey Continuum for FAs.

Kinsey rated homo/heterosexuality on a scale of 1 to 7; there are some pure homosexuals who will simply never be aroused by the opposite gender, and some pure heterosexuals. However between those 2 polar opposites is a range of sexuality. Some may strongly prefer one gender but be able to be aroused by another. 

I think it's the same with FAs. Some (like Mary) will only be able to be aroused by a fat guy, while others (like me) have a preference for them but am able to be sexually aroused by thin men as well.


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## Novelist (Apr 23, 2009)

Hmm.

I'm not sure.

I like to cuddle, and I don't want to cuddle with a skinny dude. 

There's something about guys that feel like pillows that's really attractive to me.

Most people get heavier after they get married, so I guess it might be okay if his family is heavy (he'd have a better chance of gaining weight), but I wouldn't have any fun at all snuggling with him up until then, so...

I don't know... I don't think I'd rule anyone out... but I'm not sure I'd be attracted to a very skinny person in the first place...


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## stardust77722 (Apr 24, 2009)

Yes and I have but the only thing is he did not stay skinny after we started dating


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## Citrina (Apr 25, 2009)

and thought, "Obviously they haven't met me..."  

For me, a man has to be at least chub-with-potential who likes being chubby or more. I've dated several chubby-to-large guys whom I found cute, but the didn't like their size and weren't turned on by it, and that sucked. 

View attachment Abs ad.jpg


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## Surlysomething (Apr 27, 2009)

Most definitely.

If he treated me right and had qualities that I love, for sure.


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## Laina (Apr 28, 2009)

LoveBHMS said:


> I've always thought there had to be something like the Kinsey Continuum for FAs.
> 
> Kinsey rated homo/heterosexuality on a scale of 1 to 7; there are some pure homosexuals who will simply never be aroused by the opposite gender, and some pure heterosexuals. However between those 2 polar opposites is a range of sexuality. Some may strongly prefer one gender but be able to be aroused by another.
> 
> I think it's the same with FAs. Some (like Mary) will only be able to be aroused by a fat guy, while others (like me) have a preference for them but am able to be sexually aroused by thin men as well.



It's funny, I was thinking of this while I read the original post.

I'm fairly certain I'm pansexual - there's never been a specific type, gender indentity, sex, etc that I have found myself unable to be attracted to so long as the personality worked for me. (I also wish I'd had that vocabulary when I was fifteen and trying to explain for the first time that I didn't care that the guy I was dating had been born a girl and was "pretending" - their word, not mine.)

That definitely translates into my stance as an FFA. I may lust after fat guys, prefer them if all other things are equal, whatever. The bottom line for me is always going to be the person.


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