# about being a bhm...



## nala (Dec 21, 2005)

I don't know if I'm being to straight forward or even if there're any of you that want to anwser this question but I'm just wondering... How do you feel about yourself and the fact that you're heavier? I mean I know that there are some people here on the boards that try to gain 'cause they find a fuller figure more beautiful and are very confident about their larger body, but does that apply to the majority of the men over here? Have you always liked being big or is it more like you kinda accepted the fact that you are, or always have been. 

Did this board make you feel more confident about your body in every day life, I mean knowing that there are girls who think heavier guys are more attractive? Did it make you more willing to believe a girl you're dating when she says she likes you heavier, than before you visited this board? 

Just wondering 'cause I've read a couple of beginner posts (and including my own thoughts) from which I get the impression that it was never expected to exist nor was the preference, as it does for men who are attracted to bigger women.   

love Nala


----------



## GunnDancer (Dec 21, 2005)

Honestly, when I was a younger man I found it hard to accept my body...but since coming to the board I have been made to feel like I'm handsome and..it makes me feel good  I can safely say that.


----------



## extra_fat_guy (Dec 21, 2005)

I was the same way. When I was younger I felt that I wasn't attractive. But now this board has made me more confident. I was amazed that so many women thought I was handsome. I truely didn't think that any women could be attracted to a big guy until I found this board.


----------



## Zandoz (Dec 21, 2005)

For me it's a matter of acceptance of what I am...up to the point where I started to have health and mobility issues. It was just what I am and have been for almost all my life...for the most part just as the fact that I have blue eyes and dark brown hair. 

As far as being attractive goes, I know that to the overwhelming majority of folks, I'm not. Do I have a problem with that? No. Everyone is entitled to their preferences...no matter how that influences their feelings for me. I certainly do not hold it against any who do not find me attractive...and to be honest, I'm more than a bit skeptical of those that *seem* to find me so. History has proved a lot of that comes from trying to be nice, rather than any actual feeling.

Having said all that, some how fate managed to bring me together with a very special lady. Nine years ago today, she married this ole troll. To this day I do not know why, but it sure works for me!


----------



## BigFusionNYC (Dec 22, 2005)

I've always been very comfortable in being heavy. I have never felt bad or sorry for myself. I have never fitted into the "norm"...like the fat guys you see on the talk shows that have no friends, have never dated a woman, and sit at home and sulk and/or cry because they are 'fat and ugly'. I've had the good fortune of making amazing friends whom are of all sizes, but I am the biggest. I've always been rather confident in myself and like at a party I'm not sitting in a corner, I'm working the room. i.e. New Year's Party at my friends house, I arrived at 12:40am and the people started chanting my name, everyone was half asleep before I got there and I kept everyone (even the little old ladies) up til like 5am. It's all on how you carry yourself, and me, I'm me, I'd be the same at 500 lbs and at 150 lbs. I've always liked being bigger because I can eat more delicious food, and it's sort of a power trip to be the biggest (or one of the biggest) people in the room. I don't buy into the fat = ugly propaganda or fat = bad, that's all scared thin people jargon, they're afraid a fat guy will eat them so they attack first with their verbal quips, such as, "damn, you're fat" - my reply "thanks for the information, what are you, the Prime Minister of the Blatantly Obvious?" 

As for the dating situation, I've dated many girls that were "fat tolerant" (that is, they didn't care if I was fat) and I dated girls that were FFA's, some of which were feeders. There are women that love the fat boys (they're just difficult to find). Lately the FFA well has dried up so to speak but it doesn't bother me, I'm fat, so for me it's being fat, and fat is me. Fat Jorge, Big Jorge - the teddy bear that hugs back, and that's all I got to say about that


----------



## AtlasD (Dec 22, 2005)

I think there are a lot of ladies who actually prefer heavier men, but are reluctant to express or act on this because of the pressure society and the media (especially the media) places on thin being acceptable or desirable. I have gained 15 pounds in the last four months and am trying to gain another five. My wife, who is usually very outspoken with her thoughts and opinions has said absolutely nothing negative, and I am getting a lot of hints that she likes me heavier (stroking my belly at night, extra deserts in my lunch). Will she come right out and say she likes me chubby? Probably not, because that is so alien to American culture. She is a size 14-16, I think she is absolutely gorgeous, and I tell her so. She keeps saying Im crazy- again, because this is so out of step with what our society regards as desirable or even normal. These boards may be the only place where big is beautiful can be expressed without getting derision and ridicule in return. If people would just come out and tell the truth, I think we would find a lot more FFAs and admirers of BBWs than we would expect.

As for me, I find the jiggly feeling when I walk sensual and pleasurable. I have always wanted to be pudgy, and had to wait until middle age before I finally got the confidence to act on my desire. Better late than never!


----------



## Jes (Dec 22, 2005)

I absolutely don't doubt your experience, Atlas, but I have to say for the record...I find it completely insane that a wife in a good relationship with her husband would think him 'crazy' for telling her she's cute.

And I'm sure she's said that to you, and thinks so, but I mean, I can't imagine doing that in my life. I don't think everyone finds me (or should find me) attractive, but when I've been with someone who I trust somewhat (i.e., not a complete stranger off the street that I met 3 seconds ago), and that person pays me a compliment, I believe it. I am totally and thoroughly willing to believe it. And I honestly never thought there were people who wouldn't.


----------



## ConnieLynn (Dec 22, 2005)

Zandoz said:


> I'm more than a bit skeptical of those that *seem* to find me so.
> 
> Having said all that, some how fate managed to bring me together with a very special lady. Nine years ago today, she married this ole troll. To this day I do not know why, but it sure works for me!



Happy anniversary! I think you are attractive and I never ever fib. 

I've found with age and acceptence of who I am that it seems I have become more attractive to people. I have no doubt it is the confidence factor. That's why I'm so glad to see so many younger folks here... I could have used the self acceptence 20 years ago.


----------



## nala (Dec 22, 2005)

Having said all that, some how fate managed to bring me together with a very special lady. Nine years ago today, she married this ole troll. To this day I do not know why, but it sure works for me![/QUOTE]

Happy anniversary and congratulations to you and your special lady, Zandoz!


----------



## Zandoz (Dec 22, 2005)

ConnieLynn said:


> Happy anniversary! I think you are attractive and I never ever fib.
> 
> I've found with age and acceptence of who I am that it seems I have become more attractive to people. I have no doubt it is the confidence factor. That's why I'm so glad to see so many younger folks here... I could have used the self acceptence 20 years ago.




{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Connie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I really do not see it as fibbing, lying, or anything bad...more a matter of trying to be kind...and over the years I've had a few eventually admit their intent.


----------



## nala (Dec 22, 2005)

I just can't help finding it so strange that of all cultures the American culture (read: especially media) seems to be so hung up on fysical appearance and with that tends to emphasize the wrong values as it comes to fysical appearance and being of "normal size". Having so many larger people as citizens, this should be the very culture where size acceptance starts.


----------



## Zandoz (Dec 22, 2005)

nala said:


> Having said all that, some how fate managed to bring me together with a very special lady. Nine years ago today, she married this ole troll. To this day I do not know why, but it sure works for me!



Happy anniversary and congratulations to you and your special lady, Zandoz![/QUOTE]


Thank you!


----------



## missaf (Dec 23, 2005)

America's melting pot of society issues is more about separation than unification now days, at least in my opinion. We can now, thanks to a global economy and the internet, separate ourselves from the mainstream and deal with those we aonly wish to, and when that doesn't work, we fragment our social orders into another subset. This is a good and bad thing, but for the most part, we need to be using this board as a temporary retreat and home for unifying our message and then get right back out there and spread teh word


----------



## pickleman357 (Dec 24, 2005)

I had a 38" waist a year ago. I'm now up to a 44".

There's this feeling of being complete that I'm starting to get as I get bigger. I worked out so I could do some hard jobs and I lost like 10" off of my waist in like 3 months. I didn't understand where it went. It almost felt like I was chopping off a part of my body.

I like being fat, it just feels right. Maybe when I'm bigger I might feel more complete, who knows....


well, back to snacking! :eat1:


----------



## Fat Gary NYC (Dec 26, 2005)

pickleman357 said:


> I had a 38" waist a year ago. I'm now up to a 44".


I'd gladly trade my 60" for your 44".

I wish I wasn't fat but since I'm not doing anything about it I have to accept it.

I suppose if I found a FFA my viewpoint might differ.


----------



## NoseyTClown (Jan 4, 2006)

From my perspective, it's a bit hard to believe that FFAs exist, 'cause I never met one. It's like a dream that I am afraid to believe in. Although I'm happy in my weight, I secretly dream of being much, much fatter (dare I say huge?). But in the world today, I'd pretty much close off any chance for a relationship if I allowed myself to let go. So I'm in constant tension - fat or not? I dopn't get my hearts desire, but I also don't get anything else either.

Sheesh. Life is unfair.


----------



## noob (Feb 2, 2006)

Fat Gary NYC said:


> I'd gladly trade my 60" for your 44".
> 
> I wish I wasn't fat but since I'm not doing anything about it I have to accept it.
> 
> I suppose if I found a FFA my viewpoint might differ.



I always wondered if there were fat people that would trade places with me (a skinny guy).


----------



## zonker (Feb 2, 2006)

noob said:


> I always wondered if there were fat people that would trade places with me (a skinny guy).



Sure, then I'd go get some Krispy Kreme donuts and start fattening that little skinny body up. :eat1: 

Well, hmm, actually, I have some Krispy Kreme donuts here anyway, but it sure would be fun to grow a new belly all over again. Besides, there just aren't enough fat people in the world  :eat2:


----------



## zonker (Feb 2, 2006)

nala said:


> I don't know if I'm being to straight forward or even if there're any of you that want to anwser this question but I'm just wondering... How do you feel about yourself and the fact that you're heavier? I mean I know that there are some people here on the boards that try to gain 'cause they find a fuller figure more beautiful and are very confident about their larger body, but does that apply to the majority of the men over here? Have you always liked being big or is it more like you kinda accepted the fact that you are, or always have been.
> 
> Did this board make you feel more confident about your body in every day life, I mean knowing that there are girls who think heavier guys are more attractive? Did it make you more willing to believe a girl you're dating when she says she likes you heavier, than before you visited this board?



This board and some email FFAs gave me the confidence to gain. Eventually, my partner and lover also joined in and expressed the notion that she loved my growing belly. And I feel better now about myself at 225 pounds than I ever did as a 135-pound scrawny little guy. I feel better emotionally, physically, and I feel sexier, and I believe I look better. I have a lot more confidence in myself, and I'm not as shy as I used to be. I just needed to get a little belly going to change my life for the better.


----------



## noob (Feb 4, 2006)

zonker said:


> Sure, then I'd go get some Krispy Kreme donuts and start fattening that little skinny body up. :eat1:
> 
> Well, hmm, actually, I have some Krispy Kreme donuts here anyway, but it sure would be fun to grow a new belly all over again. Besides, there just aren't enough fat people in the world  :eat2:



It's a deal


----------



## zonker (Feb 6, 2006)

noob said:


> It's a deal


If only that were possible.  

But believe me, if you are interested in gaining, you can have the time of your life . . . I have, and I've never regretted it. :eat1:


----------



## fatterisbetter (Feb 6, 2006)

Today I am definitely proud of my considerable girth. I like the way I can feel my big flabby gut sway when I walk or the sensation of my bulk pushing against a tight clothing item. I started going thru active gaining spurts maybe ten yeras ago, in college. Up to that time I had been a big kid but never fat enough to get a lot of negative attention about it. But I have always as long as can remember admired big, fat guys (not sexually, but just impressed). To this day I remember being super impressed by my grandpa's huge gut at the age of 5. Once I started gaining a lot I was old enough not to feel insecure about my preferences anymore. I think it also helped that by that time I had met my future wife who was alway very complementary about my being "a big guy". Once we got married and started to settle down my weight literaly exploded (my wife also packed on a good chunk but not nearly as much). Today I definitely qualify as supersized but at the same time I am probaly the most contented I have ever been. Looking back I think I've always been ment to have a big flabby gut hang down my front.:eat2:


----------



## noob (Feb 11, 2006)

zonker said:


> If only that were possible.
> 
> But believe me, if you are interested in gaining, you can have the time of your life . . . I have, and I've never regretted it. :eat1:



Don't I know it...  

I definitely am interested, I've already started


----------



## PolarKat (Feb 14, 2006)

nala said:


> How do you feel about yourself and the fact that you're heavier? I mean I know that there are some people here on the boards that try to gain 'cause they find a fuller figure more beautiful and are very confident about their larger body, but does that apply to the majority of the men over here? Have you always liked being big or is it more like you kinda accepted the fact that you are, or always have been.
> 
> Did this board make you feel more confident about your body in every day life, I mean knowing that there are girls who think heavier guys are more attractive? Did it make you more willing to believe a girl you're dating when she says she likes you heavier, than before you visited this board?
> 
> Just wondering 'cause I've read a couple of beginner posts (and including my own thoughts) from which I get the impression that it was never expected to exist nor was the preference, as it does for men who are attracted to bigger women.



I never really cared about my size, I like who I am, as a complete person, but the reality is the general population holds an instant bias towards people like us. I still haven't physically met any women who are attracted to "fat" men. And I'm using fat as a relative term. I've seen women who like men in the 200's, but when you cross into the 300's plus and you're not a Wrestler or Sumo. The opinion seems to change real quick. Never heard any women I dated say that she liked me heavier, usually I would get the "I like you the way you are", quickly followed by the "but, you need to loose for your health".





nala said:


> I just can't help finding it so strange that of all cultures the American culture (read: especially media) seems to be so hung up on fysical appearance and with that tends to emphasize the wrong values as it comes to fysical appearance and being of "normal size". Having so many larger people as citizens, this should be the very culture where size acceptance starts.



To pick up on a simmilar thought where Missaf was going, no society gives easy acceptance. It's human nature to be tribal, to pick your group based on nation/religion/race etc.. and create the "us and them" then invent 100's of irrational reasons to hate them, and make yourself feel superior. Before the world became smaller, your neighbours were in your tribe, but since you don't talk to your neighbours anymore, the lines of acceptance became alot narrower of the several years.


----------



## Atilla (Feb 20, 2006)

I've never had a problem being large. i do enjoy being big but i dont actively try to gain weight. i luv myself and i luv my life so there is no need to make any big changes. im not that worried about the health risks either cuz even if i changed to a healthy lifestyle ill probably die early anyway. and that doesnt bother me either.


----------



## fat hiker (Mar 3, 2006)

GunnDancer said:


> Honestly, when I was a younger man I found it hard to accept my body...but since coming to the board I have been made to feel like I'm handsome and..it makes me feel good  I can safely say that.


Hey, I feel the same - this board, plus the website Fat!So? and various FFAs and BBWs have made me come to appreciate my body for what it is - big, handsome, and useful.


----------



## GordoNegro (Sep 22, 2006)

After always being told not to eat too much and not to get fat, it took time to see that fat was not ugly. Even when I would appreciate a ssbbw's beauty upclose I never thought about letting myself go.
Though little by little with adoration and encouragement, I would see the changes in my body as I grew and just felt it was good, not unsightly as others would tell me.
Just the comfort in appreciating someone and being appreciated in return is a beautiful thing.


----------



## Slowfuse (Sep 29, 2006)

AtlasD, I share your experience. My ex (that I still live with) is a size 22, and very sexy. I still desire her very much, but she thinks there's something "wrong" with me for thinking that. I've tried to talk to her about her selfimage. We've had arguments over the fact her self hatred is more important to her than a relationship. No matter how sincere I am, or how hard I try, she won't accept that she is beautiful to me. Am ready to give up...


----------



## ShyBHM (Sep 30, 2006)

i have always been a shy person publicly and the heavier ii got the more self concious i became , i am very new to these boards so only time will tell if it will change me somwhat . i am currently trying to lose weight slowly coz i have linked my self consious attitude to my weight plus a many number of things in my hermit liek excistance heheh. hmmm i think am am rambling so ill end here


----------



## squurp (Oct 2, 2006)

I have been fascinated by weight gain since I can remember, but until around age 20, I suppressed alot of the desire to gain, and be larger. I think this suppression of my desire was the source of my shyness and lack of confidence early in life, or at least a contributor. At age 20, I found this and other sites, and since have been trying to gain. At times, I have been as much as 250 lbs. I don't know that I can pin down a single thing, but when I am heavier like that, I really feel fantastic, and alive, as well as very aroused. However, my health has been a chronic problem since the age of 22, and my weight has fluctuated, in response to many factors, not the least of which, including medications. So, here I sit, having the last month gone from 205-245-220 lbs. I always feel a little down when I lose weight, and it is frustrating that there are so many people in the world that want to lose, and I want to gain. I surely would trade with someone to be heavier, though, I'd love to go through the process of gaining. 
However, this site is about self acceptance, and I do accept who I am, and I get on with my life, and find joy in everything I can. I still am working towards alleviating health problems, in hopes I will physically feel better, though gaining weight would be an added boom.
That is about it for my contribution.


----------



## AppreSheAte (Oct 2, 2006)

i've been a fa of bbw for a long time, but over the past couple of years i've begun to wonder and experiment with gaining myself. i've gotten up to 270 and then dropped back to 220, which is still a lot bigger than i used to be for most of my adult life at 180. 

recently i started chatting with a ffa and she just gets me thinking more and more about eating and gaining. i guess i just decided to go for it and see how big i would like to be or could get. i'm seriously tempted to shoot for 400 or more. 

wonder if anyone else has traveled this path before me?


----------



## Mr. 23 (Oct 2, 2006)

pickleman357 said:


> I like being fat, it just feels right. Maybe when I'm bigger I might feel more complete, who knows....



I can relate to that for sure. The more I've gained, the more whole I feel. Though I'm only a bit chubby, I really do feel more like the person I'm supposed to be. Only time will tell for sure.


----------



## Tad (Oct 4, 2006)

Same here. Even when I was something like normal weight I felt like really, I was a fat person. I've had a desire to hang with fat people since at leats the middle of grade school, feeling somehow that I should magically fit there better. As an adult I've become moderately fat, and while I have my days of being insecure about it, overall it feels right and I enjoy it. The only issue was that in a stage when I had suppressed my own desire to be fat I fell in love with a gal and then married her, and while I don't regret that overall, there is no question that she is digging my current squidginess much less than I am *sigh.* I think there is a rule somewhere saying you can get what you want, you just can't get all the things you want at the same time.

Regards;

-Ed


----------



## roundbird (Oct 4, 2006)

nala said:


> I don't know if I'm being to straight forward or even if there're any of you that want to anwser this question but I'm just wondering... How do you feel about yourself and the fact that you're heavier? I mean I know that there are some people here on the boards that try to gain 'cause they find a fuller figure more beautiful and are very confident about their larger body, but does that apply to the majority of the men over here? Have you always liked being big or is it more like you kinda accepted the fact that you are, or always have been.
> 
> Did this board make you feel more confident about your body in every day life, I mean knowing that there are girls who think heavier guys are more attractive? Did it make you more willing to believe a girl you're dating when she says she likes you heavier, than before you visited this board?
> 
> ...


When I was young I was very fit and an athlete. I maintained a good level of fitness untill about a year ago when I began to get fat. At first I had concerns, but found it impossible to curb my appetite.
Finding this site has been a real eye opener for me. I was fully in the culture of fat is bad and unattractive and thin is the way to be. Now I'm much more comfortable with my growing body and the knowledge that there are so many women out there who will still be interested


----------



## LoveBHMS (Oct 4, 2006)

but even some who would be more interested once you packed on a few pounds.

Some of us might not have even really noticed you before, but once those darling love handles grew in...it would turn a few heads among some of us.


----------



## roundbird (Oct 6, 2006)

Thank you very much. You're a sweetie!
I'll keep you posted. Still gaining although at a more reasonable pace. One to two pounds a month. This seem to be where I have settled in.

Again, your compliments are richly appreciated!

Truely, R


----------



## AppreSheAte (Oct 6, 2006)

I feel like I'm out of control lately, I just can't stop eating and more, trying to feel stuffed. I just measured my waist - 48.5 inches. ShyBHM, are you about the same? I noticed your pic and thought we looked similar.


----------

