# Help desperately needed for one of our own!



## FEast

Please note that this post is not for the faint of heart, so please don't read further if you'd rather not know about the possible perils of extreme obesity that have befallen a beloved member of our community. For those of you who've chosen to read on despite my admonition, the sad tale below was related to me by Lexi, with whom many of you are familiar. She started Fat Fantasy many years ago, and her efforts have brought pleasure to many over the years. This is a long post, so if you don't have time to read it now, please come back when you do, as you might have some answers for a special person who's desperate for help. 

As I've reported here in the past, Lexi has fallen on some very hard times in the last couple of years, in part due to the devastation that was visited upon her home and office during several hurricanes. She's also been having severe medical problems, most of which we've kept under wraps until now. However, she's become so desperate, we thought it was time to seek help and advice from the helpful folks at this fine forum. The state of Florida has treated Lexi horribly, and, in particular, the Florida medical "professionals." The only doctor she was ever able to get to come to her home is now refusing her even the basest of medical care, and has even stopped prescribing meds that are required to keep Lexi alive.

Please understand that this is in no way meant to be a cautionary tale, although I suspect some may take it that way. Instead, we've decided to bring her problems to a venue in which she feels safe and where others may have had similar problems and possible solutions. We also know that some of you are in the medical profession, and might be able to offer helpful advice. Here, therefore, is Lexi's story. I've added some details at the end to clarify a few things.

Many of you know me from my website. Some of you who are members of it know about a few of my troubles. A thread on DIM discussed Fear of Gaining, and I am living proof as to to what the reality is at the end of that fear.

As many of you watched me grow larger and were extremely complimentary about my size, it was also my biggest nightmare. My size over the last fifteen years became my prison. I am serving a life sentence inside the walls of my bedroom. There is no outside light for me to enjoy. Even the most hardened prisoner is occasionally allowed even five minutes of exercise outside. My only exercise is my daily frightening walk to my shower. 

You might ask why it scares me. Well, over the last six months I have fallen nine times. Each episode required the assistance of between seven to twelve paramedics and fire rescue people. Getting me up is a painful, stressful, and humiliating procedure. I usually hurt for a week afterwards from the bruises that result. I normally end up unable to use my arm for a week as well, since it is already so badly strained from falls and having to pull myself out of bed. 

Why do I fall? Well, so far we have only discovered one bed that works for me. It's made by Sealy, and is called Reflexions. Its a latex bed. I need a king size to function and turn my body when I get into bed, and I sit on it sideways, in order to support my girth. There are some bariatric mattresses out there, but so far all the ones we tried did not work well for me. I could not sit or lay comfortably on them. They also tended to cut off my circulation. Due to my weight, shape, height, and short legs, I have great difficulty getting in and out of the bed, especially in.

On December 24, I became really ill. I fell on the floor as my weight accelerated to over seven hundred pounds. I had gained fifty pounds in only three weeks, and they had no idea why, since I had not changed my eating habits or was eating unhealthy food. The doctors, of course, do not believe that. They prefer to think I was in denial and inhaling pizzas by the dozens. 

Rescue workers came to my house to take me to the hospital. When they finally managed to get me to a sitting position on the bed, they tried to pull me up to stand, and I fell again on the floor. They lifted me back up, and it took four men to keep me standing. They wound up having to drag me across the floor on a tarp, after trying airbags and all sorts of fun tortures. It took over twelve hours to get me out of my house. 

They tried to put me in eleven different ambulances. I was too big for all of them. I measured four feet by four feet around. I did not fit through any of the ambulance doors, so they decided to transport me in my own van. They threw a mattress in it, and helped me walk in on my lift. The paramedics rode with me. I have been on oxygen for fifteen years, so, of course, it came with us, too. We had called ahead to the hospital and explained the circumstances. They gave me permission to bring my own bed, so an ambulance carried it for me. We got a police escort to the hospital since my van has no siren.

When I arrived at Florida Hospital in Orlando, the trauma team head nurse came out as we had planned. She told me to walk out of the van and get on the big boy bed transport. I calmly explained to her that I was unable to walk. She told me it was all in my head, and I could. The rescue workers were now out of their assigned county, so they had to take their ambulance and leave. They told the nurse I needed oxygen and left. The nurse told me if I wanted my oxygen, I would have to walk to it and get it. I again calmy stated I could not walk, but that I must have my oxygen. I was outside in the heat and blazing sun, with no air conditioning or oxygen, so my condition was deteriorating. I knew my oxygen saturation level was rapidly dropping, as I was not feeling right, and knew the signs.

The charge nurse came out and told four male patient techs to go into my van, grab me, and pull me to my lift. My husband explained to the nurse quite patiently, without losing his temper (not an easy feat, under the circumstances), that my lift was not secured in place. It had to be locked into position, and had a weight max of 1,000 pounds. Since I weighed 700 pounds by myself, three big men joining me was unsafe. She did not care. They came in and dragged me by my arms; my feet were not even on the ground. They pulled this big boy bed up by the van, and when I got to the lift, I was quite unstable, as I still had no oxygen, and my legs were not carrying me well.

The nurse said I should jump up onto the bed. Now, for the average size person, that might work. However, the bed was about six inches higher than my butt, and was up past my breasts. Needless to say, I couldnt jump up onto it, but they pushed me, and I started to fall. Suddenly there were ten guys and nurses trying to break my fall and get me on their transport. This was all done in front of their hospital, and without my oxygen. They sprained my arm, and I wound up with bruises all over my body, but they eventually landed me on the transport.

They finally admitted me to the hospital after forcing a doctor to take me as a patient. My (in my opinion) worthless quack of a doctor did not return calls from the hospital staff. In fact, it was not until the day I was being released that she finally got around to calling them. Because my weight gain had been so sudden and rapid, they realized I was retaining tremendous amounts of fluids, so the hospital put me on very strong diuretics and a catheter, as I was obviously unable to get in and out of the hospital bed for frequent trips to the bathroom. The photos of my hospital stay are in my members' area if anyone wants to see them. 

They prescribed some medications, then tried to evict me a day later since I had no insurance and Medicaid refused to pay for my care. However, they had no choice but to keep me since they could not find a way to get me out. I do not fit in the ambulances, and they broke my lift to my van. They ended up having to fix it to get me home. 

The doctor they assigned me did not want to take care of me. In fact, the whole time I was in there, he came closer than six feet of me only once. After I complained about him to the staff, he decided he should at least listen to my lungs. That was the extent of his examination.

I was sent home to my own doctor, who never came to see me again. She is the only home visiting doctor in my area. They did put me on home health. They also gave me a CNA to help me for two weeks since when they were loading me into my van, they dropped a big canister of oxygen on my foot and fractured it.

Since I've been home these past few months, things have gotten worse. I have no medical help. My doctor refuses to respond. Even when she finally does order a test for me, she refuses to give me the results. She also ordered the home health people to remove the catheter I've been on for months, knowing I am unable to get off the bed more than once or twice a day, yet I still have to continue to take diuretics twice a day. The only way I can manage is to sit on diapers, which have to be changed hourly, and my home health hours have been cut in half, necessitating family and friends to come to my rescue when they're available, or my sitting in my bodily fluids until someone has time to help, which sometimes takes hours.

I am in serious trouble, and have no clue what to do now. My husband is burned out trying to care for me twenty-four hours a day. He feels like he is watching me die, which he might very well be. In a last desperate humiliating attempt to seek help, I am reaching out to all of you to see if anyone knows of something I can do that I have not yet thought of or tried. If anyone knows of any resources, please post them here or e-mail me. I'm unable to write much because of the chronic excruciating pain in my arm and hand, but I can read what you write. We are drained physically, mentally, and financially trying to deal with all of this.

Lexi's family and I have exhausted everything we can think of to try to help her. We've tried to find doctors who will come to her home, or get somebody in authority to do the right thing for her. We thought perhaps she could go to a hospital outside Florida that accommodates obese patients, but even they are unable to take someone of her size. Despite the fact that she's lost weight due to the fluids being washed out of her system, she's still too big to fit through even their doorways, among other things, even if a way could be found to transport her. 

After much research, we've discovered that the doctor who had been willing to (occasionally) come to her home over the past few years, has a terrible reputation, and has left many patients in the lurch. She often provides only palliative care, then removes even that, and refuses to provide medications that will prolong a patient's life, giving rise to thoughts of Kevorkian. The only reason Lexi hasn't gotten rid of her and reported her to the authorities is that, for some reason, she's still willing to prescribe home health care, which Lexi desperately needs and cannot get without a doctor's approval.

I was going to post a photo or two of Lexi's hospital experience for those who aren't members of her site, but decided that this post, in itself, is upsetting enough. While she was in the hospital, her family and I desperately tried to get help for her. I called the hospital administration and patient representative, all to no avail, and her abusive treatment continued. I searched the Internet for home care for her, but came up against one brick wall after another. I've wracked my brain for ways to help her every time she has yet another bad experience, but have run out of ideas. 

Personally, I believe she has to get out of the state of Florida, but where can she go that will give her the appropriate care? Is there any place that can actually accommodate her? In Florida, if she didn't have family to help, they'd force her into a nursing home, and we all know what would undoubtedly happen there. This nearly happened to her several years ago, when she was living alone, but there was no nursing home that could facilitate someone of her size, so the authorities backed off. I know that in NYS, she'd have all kinds of professionals trying to get help for her, but in Florida, they just don't seem to care.~Sadly and frustratedly, Fuchsia

Okay, I changed my mind (woman's prerogative  ) and decided to include some photos after all. Some are way too graphic and even more depressing than these, so I tried to choose some that were supportive of this post, without going over the top. In order to observe the rules for posting photos on the Main Board, I've obliterated Fat Fantasy's copyright tags, and pray these photos will never find their way to one of those ugly hate sites.






​


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## FitChick

I'm truly sorry to hear of this situation!

I was watching Discover Health channel (satellite) and they featured a facility/home for very obese people. Some of the people they showed were bigger than 700 lbs. I think its in Missouri, though I could be wrong.

I'll go to the Discover network website and see if I can find the name of it and where it is.


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## SamanthaNY

What a terribly sad story. The only thing that came to mind in terms of health care for someone this size is a facility in Andover, Ohio - specializing in health care for special needs patients. It was focused in the tv program that fitchick is referencing above. If you read the testimonial, I think you will see a situation similar to Lexi's. I believe their focus is a weight loss program and while that may not be what you're looking for, they have facilities for people up to and over Lexi's current weight and experience in treating the severely obese, so perhaps they can at least give you some advice as to how to proceed.

I hope that you find the resources, and quickly, to help Lexi.


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## JoyJoy

I've not heard of either of these groups before, so I can't say how effective or reputable they are, and they might be avenues you've already looked into, but...I found these links to advocacy groups on the American Academy of Family Physicians site:

American Obesity Association 1250 24th Street, N.W., Suite 300 Washington, D.C. 20037 Telephone: 1-800-98-OBESE Fax: 1-202-776-7712 http://www.obesity.org 

Council on Size and Weight Discrimination P.O. Box 305 Mount Marion N.Y. 12456 Telephone: 845-679-1209 http://www.cswd.org 

Perhaps they can, at the very least, assist in getting Lexi effective and competent immediate care in Florida while searching for a long-term solution?

I will keep Lexi and her friends and family in my thoughts and prayers, and hope for improved health and comfort for her.


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## loves2laugh

i was thinking about the same facility. it sounds as though lexi wouldnt mind losing some weight- i think the trip to the midwest is definitly worth it. as for florida- forget it- my friend who is not obese has problems with floridas medical community. 
lexi is in my prayers and i will be looking into something for her.


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## FitChick

Samantha, thanks for posting that link! I tried finding it on Google but for some reason thought they said it was in Missouri!


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## EbonySSBBW

SamanthaNY said:


> What a terribly sad story. The only thing that came to mind in terms of health care for someone this size is a facility in Andover, Ohio - specializing in health care for special needs patients. It was focused in the tv program that fitchick is referencing above. If you read the testimonial, I think you will see a situation similar to Lexi's. I believe their focus is a weight loss program and while that may not be what you're looking for, they have facilities for people up to and over Lexi's current weight and experience in treating the severely obese, so perhaps they can at least give you some advice as to how to proceed.
> 
> I hope that you find the resources, and quickly, to help Lexi.



I was so looking for just that information but couldn't remember the name of that show. I'm so glad that you found it. I have seen a few different stories of very large patients who stayed at that facility. That seems like a really good option for Lexi.

FEast, I'm so sorry to hear about everything that Lexi is going through. It's really sad and upsetting. I will keep her in my prayers and I hope that she is able to find a solution very soon.


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## loves2laugh

posted a brief call for help on the naafa convention forum. maybe soemone there can help.


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## Tina

I would try to contact every politician in the area, from the top on down, to try to get these agencies to fall in line. Often Governors and Congresspeople will help you, and sometimes, they are the only ones that asministrators will listen to.

I'm very sorry for your horrible experiences and the inhumane way you were treated, Lexi. I wasn't sure if I wanted to scream, or cry, when reading your experiences. You deserve much better treatment than that.


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## Brenda

I am so sorry to learn of Lexi's health problems and the poor treatment she has received.

Unfortunately I know of no resources to help her. My own sister who was about Lexi's seize but had more mobility died two years ago in large part to the lack of treatment by medical professionals. 

I hope she can get the help she needs and can regain her health.


Brenda


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## SamanthaNY

In addition to what Tina suggested - I would also consider contacting local media agencies, since this situation sounds quite dire. Many local TV stations and newspapers have consumer reports - where reporters help citizens get fair treatment from retailers or institutions by publicizing their situation. This will mean a lot of attention on Lexi - but also on the health professionals who aren't responding to her needs. It's sad that she needs to endure that potential humiliation of going public, but if it gets her the help she needs, it could greatly improve, or even save her life.


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## Donna

If you wish to get the media involved, try the Orlando Sentinental. They are good about doing human interest peices and taking up causes. The number direct to the newsroom is (407) 420-5411

Governor Bush might not be much help, but his Lt Governor should be.
Toni Jennings, Florida Lt. Gov
email: [email protected]
phone: (850) 488-7146

Orange County Adult Services
400 W Robinson St S1014
Orlando, FL 32801
(407) 245-0410

and finally....
Agency For Health Care Administration
for the state of Florida
Hotline phone: (888) 419-3456


Hope one of these resources helps.


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## Lexi

SamanthaNY said:


> What a terribly sad story. The only thing that came to mind in terms of health care for someone this size is a facility in Andover, Ohio - specializing in health care for special needs patients. It was focused in the tv program that fitchick is referencing above. If you read the testimonial, I think you will see a situation similar to Lexi's. I believe their focus is a weight loss program and while that may not be what you're looking for, they have facilities for people up to and over Lexi's current weight and experience in treating the severely obese, so perhaps they can at least give you some advice as to how to proceed.
> 
> I hope that you find the resources, and quickly, to help Lexi.




Yes I saw that show as well. There are quite a few that lose there that are large. There have also been quite a few deaths there. I did put in an application there 9 months ago and have followed up several times.I have over 300 people still ahead of me there. They told me my case is not urgent enough. Most of their patients come due to a severe heart problem or high blood pressure and are already hospitalized.I did call all around the country and have not found another center like that one.

Thank you for responding.I appreciate any and all comments. I am in so much trouble now due to no mobility.

Lexi


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## Lexi

loves2laugh said:


> i was thinking about the same facility. it sounds as though lexi wouldnt mind losing some weight- i think the trip to the midwest is definitly worth it. as for florida- forget it- my friend who is not obese has problems with floridas medical community.
> lexi is in my prayers and i will be looking into something for her.



I have actually been losing weight.I put MYSELF on medifast.My doctor refused to cooperate with the medifast nurse. They are in Maryland and so I am trudging along blindly on the program against the nurses advice since she has no way to guide me without my test results.My doctor has even refused to give me the results of my tests. I had to get the home care chaplain to get them for me so i could even see my last blood work.I am trapped though since no other doctor will take me on. If I just fire her then I will also lose the jhome care nurse and thats the only medical help I have at all now is her coming once a month. 

Thank you for the prayers. Everything helps


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## activistfatgirl

Lexi,

Would it help to put public pressure on this doctor to be more responsive to you?


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## Lexi

Donnaalicious said:


> If you wish to get the media involved, try the Orlando Sentinental. They are good about doing human interest peices and taking up causes. The number direct to the newsroom is (407) 420-5411
> 
> Governor Bush might not be much help, but his Lt Governor should be.
> Toni Jennings, Florida Lt. Gov
> email: [email protected]
> phone: (850) 488-7146
> 
> Orange County Adult Services
> 400 W Robinson St S1014
> Orlando, FL 32801
> (407) 245-0410
> 
> and finally....
> Agency For Health Care Administration
> for the state of Florida
> Hotline phone: (888) 419-3456
> 
> 
> Hope one of these resources helps.



Hi Donna,

Thank you I will call them up in the morning. I did call channel 9 as well to their action 9 news help but they did not respond yet. We will see what happens.

Thanks

Lexi


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## ThatFatGirl

Lexi, I can't offer any better advice than what has been offered, just wanted to tell you I'm sending good thoughts and prayers your way. I hope you're in better health with the care you need very soon.


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## Lexi

Brenda said:


> I am so sorry to learn of Lexi's health problems and the poor treatment she has received.
> 
> Unfortunately I know of no resources to help her. My own sister who was about Lexi's seize but had more mobility died two years ago in large part to the lack of treatment by medical professionals.
> 
> I hope she can get the help she needs and can regain her health.
> 
> 
> Brenda



Brenda,

I am so sorry to hear about your sister.Recently on my birthday in July all my children came down with my grand kids to suprise me. I later found out that they were scared I was dying. It hit me pretty hard as t how close I just might be to that.At this point I cant get off my bed more then one time a day and it takes two people to get me up so I do not fall. I can walk about 20 feet once I am up.I could get up a few more times a day but my should and arm are seriouslly injured and pulling up aggravates it more.

Thank you for sharing about your sister.

Lexi


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## Donna

Here's something that just occurred to me.....if this is a matter of poor physician practice, have you contacted a personal injury attorney to gain assistance and the needed medical attention?


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## Lexi

Donnaalicious said:


> Here's something that just occurred to me.....if this is a matter of poor physician practice, have you contacted a personal injury attorney to gain assistance and the needed medical attention?




yes actually I contacted them while I was still in the hospital. I also filled quite a few HIPAA allegations against them for things that happened. One evening the charge nurse started screaming in the halls I dont care what it takes call home depot rent a forklift for her to ride down the street to go home.I just want her out of my hospital tonight. The hospital had wanted me to leave from the moment I got there.Since they did not have any proper medical equipment to take care of a Super Supersize patient they were at a loss as to how to care for me.In their ultimate wisdom they felt it was better to not listen to the patient who knows their own body and follow their medical care plan that was designed for a 200 lb person which is their idea of fat.

My husband would go to the cafeteria at the hospital and in the line to pay people would be talking about me. He was even told about the fattest person they'd seen was on the 3rd floor.People kept walking by my room and staring.

They did not respect my right to privacy at all.My medical records laid on a table outside my door and ciar my husband a few times caught laundry workers and non medical people grazing through them like it was a magazine gawking.

Un beknownst to them we took many pictures of this ordeal 

Lexi


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## sirumberto

Lexi said:


> yes actually I contacted them while I was still in the hospital. I also filled quite a few HIPAA allegations against them for things that happened. One evening the charge nurse started screaming in the halls I dont care what it takes call home depot rent a forklift for her to ride down the street to go home.I just want her out of my hospital tonight. The hospital had wanted me to leave from the moment I got there.Since they did not have any proper medical equipment to take care of a Super Supersize patient they were at a loss as to how to care for me.In their ultimate wisdom they felt it was better to not listen to the patient who knows their own body and follow their medical care plan that was designed for a 200 lb person which is their idea of fat.
> 
> My husband would go to the cafeteria at the hospital and in the line to pay people would be talking about me. He was even told about the fattest person they'd seen was on the 3rd floor.People kept walking by my room and staring.
> 
> They did not respect my right to privacy at all.My medical records laid on a table outside my door and ciar my husband a few times caught laundry workers and non medical people grazing through them like it was a magazine gawking.
> 
> Un beknownst to them we took many pictures of this ordeal
> 
> Lexi



Go get em. I work in the medical field and HIPPA is usually a pain in the butt, but this is where its usefulness shines through. Show them that the right to privacy extends to everyone.

Edit: I hope JCAHO gives them so deep an audit they'll be tasting latex from the hospital version of a full cavity search.


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## Jane

Lexi said:


> Hi Donna,
> 
> Thank you I will call them up in the morning. I did call channel 9 as well to their action 9 news help but they did not respond yet. We will see what happens.
> 
> Thanks
> 
> Lexi


Talk to your attorney before you go onair and say the wrong thing, please.


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## Brenda

Lexi,

Thanks for your kind words.

Hearing your story really brings back the memories about my dear sisters death and I know you can have a different ending than hers. I think the suggestions about calling the news and contacting state agencies is a great idea. When I was able to get to my sister during her illness it was not until I basically got in the doctors face and DEMANDED care for her that anything was done. Unfortunately it was just too little too late. While the nature of her illness could have killed even the most healthy thin young person she was just not given treatment because they could not get over her weight. They deemed her unfit to live based on it and that sadly is the way many doctors view fat people.

I just recalled hearing about a rehab facility in New York for very large people. I think it was on Long Island and was featured on a TLC documentary about a man who weighed a 1,000 lbs. I am looking for it on a search in google but coming up dry. 

From what I recall they were able to help others who were your size regain mobility and were equpped to handle problems associated with the supersized.


Brenda


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## Miss Vickie

Lexi, how awful.  I wish I could come down there and help you. The only real advice I have, in addition to what the others have said, is to see about working with the hospital's administration. Maybe they have a patient advocate who could help? A social worker? Whenever we discharge patients, we have a plan, and there are many steps that are taken, including coordination of follow up care and home health for patients who need it. I'm still at a loss as to why this was never done for you. While I don't think there's necessarily a law for it, I do know that JCAHO (the organization that accredits hospitals) will ding a hospital if such things aren't taken care of, and you soooo don't want to get dinged by JCAHO. You might try throwing JCAHO's name around (prounounce "jayco") and see if that helps, particularly if you're dealing with hospital administration. Also, the medical licensing board should be made aware of the treatment you've received at the hands of these doctor(s). You could file a complaint with the state medical board. And finally, your medical records are YOURS, and belong to YOU. It is against the law for them not to give them to you. You'll have to sign something for a release, but you should be able to get ALL of your records, including blood tests, and only have to pay a nominal copying fee.

Again, Lexi, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope you're able to get the help you need and deserve.


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## Pear320

Could this possibly be the place in New York?

*60 bed obesity unit

Brookhaven Rehabilitation and Health Care Center
250 Beach 17th Street
Far Rockaway, NY. 11691

www.brookhavenrehab.com 

PH: 718-471-7500
Fax: 718-327-9074


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## LookingAround

Lexi,

My heart goes out to you. I'll keep you in my prayers. I don't know how much this helps, but I watched a medical program that featured a young lady who seemingly had nothing wrong with her. In her early twenties she started to gain weight rapidly, she had hair growth in places she hadn't had before, and she developed a hump on the base of her neck. She went to doctors who dismissed her problems as an uncontrollable appetite, and for about a year and a half no doctor would look past her weight. She finally did some internet research and came across a site that detailed her symptoms exactly, and she learned that it was Cushing Disease. She talked her doctor into administering tests for Cushings, and sure enough she had it. They treated her and she lost weight, she lost the hump, and her hair growth receded. I mentioned this to encourage you or a loved one who assists you to scour the internet for your symptons. 

Encouragement.


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## SamanthaNY

The symptons _aren't_ the issue here. Did you read any of these posts?


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## BBWMoon

Lexi,

Since I read Fuchsia's initial Post, this afternoon, I've been thinking about you all day. At first, I was appalled. I was beside myself how poorly you've been treated right down to them breaking your foot with the oxygen canister.
Where is the professional care? It was as if you were careened around a circle of blind Doctors who weren't willing to open their eyes. It's really unbelievable how you were NOT TAKEN CARE OF. I found myself quite sad.

Now, hours later, I'm angry.  

I'm angry at those Blind eyes, but I'm seething at the Blind IGNORANCE.

There's noticeable despair in your story, the end of the road kind, and if anything, IT IS UTMOST IMPORTANT that you do not lose HOPE in this situation. Don't let the bastards win, Lexi. Don't tolerate ignorance.

I'm thinking of you...

and trying to figure out if there's anything I can do...

~Allie


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## Lexi

BBWMoon said:


> Lexi,
> 
> Since I read Fuchsia's initial Post, this afternoon, I've been thinking about you all day. At first, I was appalled. I was beside myself how poorly you've been treated right down to them breaking your foot with the oxygen canister.
> Where is the professional care? It was as if you were careened around a circle of blind Doctors who weren't willing to open their eyes. It's really unbelievable how you were NOT TAKEN CARE OF. I found myself quite sad.
> 
> Now, hours later, I'm angry.
> 
> I'm angry at those Blind eyes, but I'm seething at the Blind IGNORANCE.
> 
> There's noticeable despair in your story, the end of the road kind, and if anything, IT IS UTMOST IMPORTANT that you do not lose HOPE in this situation. Don't let the bastards win, Lexi. Don't tolerate ignorance.
> 
> I'm thinking of you...
> 
> and trying to figure out if there's anything I can do...
> 
> ~Allie



I have had so many emotions lately about everything that has happened to me. What I listed on the forum here is not even a 10th of what has actually occurred. It is demeaning, humiliating, annoying , dehumanizing, ignorant , outrageous, depressing , and a whole basket of other adjectives. As I sit in my cell each day I think about the loss of seeing my children and grandkids, integrating with society and yes actually having the privilege to do simple things like shower and go to a bathroom when you want to. Standing up when I want to, eat when I wish to, walk out a front door and see the light. These things most people do without thinking are a planned activity for me. Someone elses plan not my own..

Each day I try to get up and make every moment of the day count towards getting out of this hole. I am in.I keep getting knocked down. My husband is so very burnt out. We have been fighting now for 3 years through all of this medical BS. Yes I am at the end of my rope. I feel like I am approaching the end of my life.Yet I still hasve that voice inside this fat lady that says NO you havent sung yet. Everyone knows it is not over until the fat lady sings.

Lexi


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## SamanthaNY

I'm torn here, Lexi. I've struggled with whether to post any of these concerns since I don't want to take away from your plea for help. I sympathize with your plight, and have tried to offer some resources for you. I'm disgusted that the medical community seems to have abandoned you so thoroughly - but that's also confusing for me; your claims describe offenses so egregious (and illegal), and I personally have never experienced anything close to that (having encountered my share of size-prejudiced professionals). I don't doubt the veracity of your claims - however, I have to express my confusion over how you got to where you are today. Wasn't there any way to sound the alarm bells earlier? I'm assuming that your health has declined over a number of years, with a series of events all accumulating to this point where you need aggressive help. But why weren't concerns raised 2 years ago, or 200 pounds ago, when you might have had more options available? I imagine at some past point, you would have had much more control over your own situation, and not at the mercy of the health community, who now receive all the blame. 

I suppose I'm asking this not just for myself, but for anyone else who posted on and/or read that 'fear of gaining' thread. I hope when/if I see changes in my own abilities that I will be able to recognize them and act appropriately - but perhaps it's not that easy. I'm hoping that some disclosure from you can help shed some light on that for all of us.


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## Rainahblue

Lexi said:


> yes actually I contacted them while I was still in the hospital. I also filled quite a few HIPAA allegations against them for things that happened. One evening the charge nurse started screaming in the halls I dont care what it takes call home depot rent a forklift for her to ride down the street to go home.I just want her out of my hospital tonight. The hospital had wanted me to leave from the moment I got there.Since they did not have any proper medical equipment to take care of a Super Supersize patient they were at a loss as to how to care for me.In their ultimate wisdom they felt it was better to not listen to the patient who knows their own body and follow their medical care plan that was designed for a 200 lb person which is their idea of fat.
> 
> My husband would go to the cafeteria at the hospital and in the line to pay people would be talking about me. He was even told about the fattest person they'd seen was on the 3rd floor.People kept walking by my room and staring.
> 
> They did not respect my right to privacy at all.My medical records laid on a table outside my door and ciar my husband a few times caught laundry workers and non medical people grazing through them like it was a magazine gawking.
> 
> Un beknownst to them we took many pictures of this ordeal
> 
> Lexi



That is very insightful of you and your hubby, Lexi. Document everything, start a journal centered around your experiences with these insensitive, unprofessional people, photos, video... I've found from previous experiences that sometimes having extensive documentation can make all the difference.

I'm keeping you in my thoughts, and please let me know if there's anything I can do from where I am: writing letters, signing a petition, _anything _that might help you get the care you need and deserve.​


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## Brenda

Samantha.

While I am not Lexi I think I have some insight on how a situation gets to this point. Once your body gets to the point where you are having difficulty walking and doing daily activities it is a herceulean effort to turn things around. Since you are now getting nearly no exercise it takes very little food to sustain your weight and only a bit more to cause additional gain. Depression, isolation and sheer boredom make it very easy to turn to food for a pick me up because your life has become so small there seems like there is little else available to you.

I think the warning bells go off when we are 300 lbs or 400 lbs or whatever and for whatever reasons we choose not to deal with the situation. We see ourselves as big but fairly healthy so we think we will be fine. Or we have a sa spouse or partner who is happy to do the things for us we can no longer do for ourselves. But one semi serious injury or illness could put us into a spiral of weight gain and immobility that could put any of us in Lexis situation.

I know this because I watched my sister go through this. She felt she was betraying Size Acceptance and was so afraid of dying from surgery that she would not consider it when her weight was beyond what she could manage and have any sort of a life. All along she bought the lie that you should eat what you want and your body would reach set point. Ironically if she had had WLS she might be alive today.

Brenda


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## TallFatSue

My warning bells sound when I'm much above 450lb. I've been as heavy as 465lb and began to fell some effects on my mobility and general well-being which kinda scared me. I felt clumsier and a little out-of-sorts. After I brought myself back down to 450lb (my 6ft height sure helps) everything seemed fine again. All things being equal I'd probably be better off if I lost 200lb, but I'd need to starve myself the rest of my days, and that's no life for me. So, careful obesity management seems the way to go. I have regular checkups and so far my doctor gives me a clean bill of health.

I can sure sympathize about falling too. One night I slipped on a bathroom rug and bonked my head on the counter as I went down. It's not easy to haul up a woman my size lying on the floor in a heap in a corner, half-asleep and seeing stars. Luckily Art woke up when he heard me crash, and we both carefully gave me the old heave-ho. Luckily too my pratfall injured my dignity much more than my body.

So in terms of health, well-being and just plain logistics, 450lb is my imaginary line in the sand.


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## Aliena

Brenda said:


> Samantha.
> 
> While I am not Lexi I think I have some insight on how a situation gets to this point. Once your body gets to the point where you are having difficulty walking and doing daily activities it is a herceulean effort to turn things around. Since you are now getting nearly no exercise it takes very little food to sustain your weight and only a bit more to cause additional gain. Depression, isolation and sheer boredom make it very easy to turn to food for a pick me up because your life has become so small there seems like there is little else available to you.
> 
> I think the warning bells go off when we are 300 lbs or 400 lbs or whatever and for whatever reasons we choose not to deal with the situation. We see ourselves as big but fairly healthy so we think we will be fine. Or we have a sa spouse or partner who is happy to do the things for us we can no longer do for ourselves. But one semi serious injury or illness could put us into a spiral of weight gain and immobility that could put any of us in Lexis situation.
> 
> I know this because I watched my sister go through this. She felt she was betraying Size Acceptance and was so afraid of dying from surgery that she would not consider it when her weight was beyond what she could manage and have any sort of a life. All along she bought the lie that you should eat what you want and your body would reach set point. Ironically if she had had WLS she might be alive today.
> 
> Brenda


 

Excellent post Brenda. I am really sorry for the loss of your sister; I realize how much you love her and how much she meant to you. 

I am on the precipice of Lexi's life right now. I am homebodied myself for the most part, but able to get out as needed. I have a husband that will do anything for me, even when I am struggling to do it myself. If the pain is kicking in, it's easier to give in and let the man do it for me. It doesn't mean I didn't care or don't care about my situation, it simply means I hurt and I just don't have the strength. 

Samantha, right now isn't about the why did you do this and not do that. It's about a lovely lady that has the RIGHT to medical care and by golly should be getting it regardless her size. 
This is where size acceptance civil rights would be best to come into play right now. 

Lexi, I am really sorry that you are going through this. I can imagine ( as I have for myself) just how isolated you are feeling right now and the exasperation that comes along with it when the will is ready, but the body refuses. 

Donnalicious is sooooo write; contact an attorney. I can not believe that wench of a nurse had the audacity to yell like that in the hallway. I guess I am a little mouthy, because that bitch would have gotten a tongue lashing from me. 

FWIW--my husband works at a top 100 credited hospitals. They are very protective of the HIPPA oath and rights. If a patient were to find out his records were violated by someone other than his health care professionals, they'd be automatically terminated. 
Has your husband printed up some of these pictures and sent them to the administrators of this hospital. 

And another thing,--I am under the impression that a Dr. can not drop a patient unless he gives them 30 days to find another physician. Your Dr. is still responsible for you Lexi. If I were you, I'd remind her of that and the repercussions that can result from malpractice, especially when you're keeping a journal of all the calls missed and the hands off way she is treating you. 

Boy, oh boy--get yourself a lawyer honey. 

I wish I was in Florida. I'd love to come meet you and see if there were something we could do together. 

And praise GOD and the Lord Jesus Christ that you have a wonderful husband who loves you and does help you in your time of need. 

I am saying prayers for you Lexi--if you'd like to talk or just vent, please PM me and we can pass email information. 

Take care-- 
Dee


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## Donna

In Samantha's defense, I think her post and her questions have merit. Yes, there is a lot about size acceptance and better health care rights at play here. And resources to fix those issues have been given. Samantha was probably extrapolating Lexi's story and going the next step, though, as many of us did I am sure. I found myself reading the saga of what happened and applying it to my own struggle with weight and my own fears of becoming immobile. I believe THAT is the core of the issue Sam was trying to get at, NOT to chastise Lexi.

Maybe I am reading more into Sam's post than I should and I have NO right to speak for her. I just know her question seemed valid to me and not in the least bit disrespectful.


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## Emma

I'm just watching the jerry spinger show where he 'saved' an obese couple. The man is over 700lbs and immobile. They're flying him to a clinic in lauderdale, florida that specialises in people his size. He didn't say the name of the place but I'll watch it all to see if I can get the name. This show is from '97 so I don't even know if this place still exists but it's worth checking out.


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## GPL

I'm so sorry to hear this all, Lexi 
My thoughts are with you, hun!

I think it's unbelieveable how the treat you. How on earth can people do this 

Superduper tight hugs, GPL.


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## Angel

I am appalled by the insensible and callous stupidity expressed by those who supposedly are educated and otherwise are fairly intelligent. It never ceases to amaze me how that fellow humans feign ignorance while trying to disguise their arrogance and cruelty.

Yes, the medical profession has failed Lexi. Individuals can use every excuse they can think of, but it is no excuse for their personal lack of compassion. Sadly in our society, the supersized and ultrasized are _blamed_ rather than being treated with respect or with dignity. Though we are visible for all to see, some choose to see us as invisible and nonexistant. Though we speak and express our concerns, some choose to not hear us or choose to not even listen. Some individuals find it easier to turn away or continue blaming the obese patient rather than offering assistance or guidence. 

Lexi, you need to somehow look within yourself and find the strength and determination to fight with all of your might. As long as there is breath, there is hope. No matter what anyone says, do not give up. You fight for what you need. Don't be afraid to tell others what you need. Don't be afraid to demand whatever it is that you feel will help your health improve. Don't let the inconsiderate excuses for human beings silence you or destroy your will to live. You _can_ fight your way back to a better existance and to improved health. It may not be easy, and it may not happen over night, but it is possible. While searching for medical help, try to begin to make positive differences in your life. Take each day as it comes. Try to chose healthier foods. Try to move, even if it is while in bed. Move your arms, hands, wrists, ankles, feet, etc. Talk to your doctor or home health nurse about the possibility of physical therapy. Ask if there is a therapist who can come to your home. Even if medical coverage will only cover one home visit, the therapist can show and give you a simple routine that will help to improve your strength and muscle tone. It is a slow and sometimes painful process, but it is doable. Sometimes you may have to look at it as _it's me against the world_ and realize that you are the only person who can make yourself better. When you find that determination, you'll find the strength to fight your way back. It can be done. I know it can. Whether or not you find the medical assistance you need today or tomorrow, you can begin your own road to recovery right this very minute. Give yourself that chance. You deserve it.


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## Lexi

CurvyEm said:


> I'm just watching the jerry spinger show where he 'saved' an obese couple. The man is over 700lbs and immobile. They're flying him to a clinic in lauderdale, florida that specialises in people his size. He didn't say the name of the place but I'll watch it all to see if I can get the name. This show is from '97 so I don't even know if this place still exists but it's worth checking out.



Hi Em

Yes, there used to be a facility in the Lauderdale area back in the 90's. That closed down in 99. I did years ago go to one up in Durham NC. It is called Structure house. There is also the rice house there. However, both of those said they do not have the capabilities to handle a person with my immobility.

Lexi


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## Lexi

Angel said:


> I am appalled by the insensible and callous stupidity expressed by those who supposedly are educated and otherwise are fairly intelligent. It never ceases to amaze me how that fellow humans feign ignorance while trying to disguise their arrogance and cruelty.
> 
> Yes, the medical profession has failed Lexi. Individuals can use every excuse they can think of, but it is no excuse for their personal lack of compassion. Sadly in our society, the supersized and ultrasized are _blamed_ rather than being treated with respect or with dignity. Though we are visible for all to see, some choose to see us as invisible and nonexistant. Though we speak and express our concerns, some choose to not hear us or choose to not even listen. Some individuals find it easier to turn away or continue blaming the obese patient rather than offering assistance or guidence.
> 
> Lexi, you need to somehow look within yourself and find the strength and determination to fight with all of your might. As long as there is breath, there is hope. No matter what anyone says, do not give up. You fight for what you need. Don't be afraid to tell others what you need. Don't be afraid to demand whatever it is that you feel will help your health improve. Don't let the inconsiderate excuses for human beings silence you or destroy your will to live. You _can_ fight your way back to a better existance and to improved health. It may not be easy, and it may not happen over night, but it is possible. While searching for medical help, try to begin to make positive differences in your life. Take each day as it comes. Try to chose healthier foods. Try to move, even if it is while in bed. Move your arms, hands, wrists, ankles, feet, etc. Talk to your doctor or home health nurse about the possibility of physical therapy. Ask if there is a therapist who can come to your home. Even if medical coverage will only cover one home visit, the therapist can show and give you a simple routine that will help to improve your strength and muscle tone. It is a slow and sometimes painful process, but it is doable. Sometimes you may have to look at it as _it's me against the world_ and realize that you are the only person who can make yourself better. When you find that determination, you'll find the strength to fight your way back. It can be done. I know it can. Whether or not you find the medical assistance you need today or tomorrow, you can begin your own road to recovery right this very minute. Give yourself that chance. You deserve it.



Angel,

You had some very good suggesstions in your message. I agree with you . Where there is still breath there is hope. I am going to put that up on my wall.

I do have a pgysical therapist that is going to come 5 times. I was able to get the hospitals risk managment program to pay for the visits since medicaid denied it. I figured since they contributed to my shoulder pain they can help try to fix it.I have been trying to get my Dr to give me a cortisone shot for 8 weeks now. The Physical therapist did give me the rubber bands to use to work out with but with the shoulder pain and arm pain I have she said she would not recommend doing it until I got a shot. We even attempted to use ETPS therapy on it but it did not h elp. Nurmerous calls by both the physical therapist and occupational therapist to the Doctor did not help me obtain the cortisone.In the past I usually needed it once to twice a year as I have a rotor cuff problem and neurological damage in my left arm. The only way I have been able to get up from the bed is by two people blocking me legs from sliding and me falling and using a hand to lift me up while I hold a rope thats anchored into a stud in the ceiling. Frankly that is what keeps damaging my shoulders more but its the only way to get me up the one time a day.

On a positive note I have more movement in my legs then I had before . I have been working those muscles.


I do speak up and so does Ciar when he feels I am in danger. Its so hard to spend all day and night fighting.Its extremely stressful.I am currently doing medifast to try and lower my weight as fast as I can to try to regain my mobility.I need my doctor to cooperate so I can get the medical tests that I need done and the corrected medication that I need.I will keep fighting though.

Lexi


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## crazygrad

I haven't read the whole thread (really busy these days) but have you looked into programs at Duke University? THey have many different obesity related programs. I think they are structured around weight loss, but perhaps one of them would suit your needs and get you some medical attention while taking off some weight to help you get back your health and mobility.
Best to you.


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## fatgirlflyin

that I'm gonna sound like a cold hearted bitch here, but I've just got to say this anyway.

Several times I've seen you mention excersizes or activities that you should be doing but you just dont because it hurts too much. Of course it hurts, but you have to move anyway. You are in a position where you've got take your health seriously, more seriously than you did when you allowed yourself to gain to 700 pounds. 

I dont know what its like to live life at your weight, I do know what its like to live life at mine of just over 300 pounds. When I decide to go for a jog does it hurt? Damn skippy it does, all this fat bouncing around hurts but I'd deal with the hurt of bouncing fat any day over the reality of immobility. 

I'm not trying to be mean here, the doctors and hospital had no right to treat you the way they did. I just dont want to see you become more of a victim, not only of the way you were treated but the way you dont treat yourself. You can't be passive in a time like this, if it takes 2 people to get you out of bed then get those 2 people to help you get out of bed as much as you can stand it. Those rubber bands hurt? Then do something else with your arms, use a can of veggies and pump weights with it. Just move, you've gotta move otherwise that bed is gonna be your deathbed. 

Lexi, I dont know you personally nor have I ever chatted with you on the boards but I hope that things all work out for you. I hope that you are able to find adequate health care and I also hope that you decide to aggresively pursue your own good health.


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## Sandie_Zitkus

Now I'm gonna sound like a bitch - but what does it matter HOW she got to the present weight????? I think Lexi is dealing with enough from the outside world right now and needs only support from us. About 6 years ago I got sick with gout. From there is was a downward spiral where my health was concerned. And I gained weight rapidly - due to immobility. I was close to 500 lbs and close to immobility before I knew it. It was terrifying. The depression I was in also stopped me form seeing the excess weight I was gaining. And I still have a way to go to getting all my mobility back - but the last thing I needed or need now is people paying Sunday morning quarterback telling me what I *SHOULD* be doing. It's cruel and demoralizing. 

Lexi I wish there was something more I could do to help you. Take the good stuff from here and leave the rest of it behind. There are a lot of good people here who know what you are going through and wish you well.


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## fatgirlflyin

It doesn't matter, I also didn't ask because its none of my business. 

Lexi absoultely needs support but support comes in more forms than hand holding and commiserating. I can be just as supportive saying I feel for you and I'm sorry for the pain you are going through but please be strong and if no one will help you then help yourself. 

My grandfather was a very obese man, with major mobility issues. He chose to give up because it was just too hard rather than fight and regain his health. 

If you felt that my post was Monday morning quarterbacking then that's fine, you are entitled to your opinion but hindsight is 20/20.


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## Angel

Lexi said:


> I have been trying to get my Dr to give me a cortisone shot for 8 weeks now. The Physical therapist did give me the rubber bands to use to work out with but with the shoulder pain and arm pain I have she said she would not recommend doing it until I got a shot. We even attempted to use ETPS therapy on it but it did not h elp. Nurmerous calls by both the physical therapist and occupational therapist to the Doctor did not help me obtain the cortisone.In the past I usually needed it once to twice a year as I have a rotor cuff problem and neurological damage in my left arm. The only way I have been able to get up from the bed is by two people blocking me legs from sliding and me falling and using a hand to lift me up while I hold a rope thats anchored into a stud in the ceiling. Frankly that is what keeps damaging my shoulders more but its the only way to get me up the one time a day.



Lexi, 
The doctor may not want you to have the cortisone shot for a reason. I can only speak from my experience. I was told that the shots are not a good idea if a patient has fluid retention issues. The shots can cause additional fluid retention in the extremities (arms and/or legs). Sometimes the doctor has to make choices based upon what worse consequences may arise. Though it's not pleasant, we can live with pain. Fluid retention can be extremely detrimental. It can lead to difficulty in breathing or worse, to loss of life. Perhaps ask if instead a mild pain reliever could be prescribed for the time being. 

When they tried the ETPS therapy, was it near or on the shoulder joint? It didn't bring any relief, even temporarily? I ask because you mentioned that you are basically using your arm strength when trying to get up. If the electrodes were placed near the injured joints, and you still had pain in your arms, you may have additionally injured the bursa in your upper arms. That can happen when a person tries to lift more weight than what their muscles are capable of lifting. With a supersize person, it can happen when basically only using the arms to pull the body up into a standing position or when trying to pull the body's weight up steps or stairs. When the bursa become inflamed, or if they burst, there is a constant pain between the shoulder and just above the elbow, where your upper arm muscles are located. It can be extremely painful until the bursa heal. Bursitis can take up to four months to heal. If the doctor can't (or won't) visit to better access your pain, possibly explain to the physical therapist exactly where the pain is, and what type of pain it is, and how often it lasts, and if movement makes it worse.

I can honestly tell you, that most professionals in the medical field just don't have the experience of dealing with people of our size. Because they haven't treated many super and ultra sized patients, they don't always know what the right treatment is. Even with most medications, trials and dosages are only standard for those weighing up to 220 pounds.


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## Michaela

*1. Nobody deserves to be treated the way you were treated and I really hope you'll feel better in the near future.*

but

2. Didn't you see that coming ? You didn't gain to over 700 lbs over night, right ?

I know it' s none of my business but this is an open message board, so...

3. Doesn't anybody know someone with power (politician, celebrity...) who can help her ?


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## Lexi

Angel said:


> Lexi,
> The doctor may not want you to have the cortisone shot for a reason. I can only speak from my experience. I was told that the shots are not a good idea if a patient has fluid retention issues. The shots can cause additional fluid retention in the extremities (arms and/or legs). Sometimes the doctor has to make choices based upon what worse consequences may arise. Though it's not pleasant, we can live with pain. Fluid retention can be extremely detrimental. It can lead to difficulty in breathing or worse, to loss of life. Perhaps ask if instead a mild pain reliever could be prescribed for the time being.
> 
> When they tried the ETPS therapy, was it near or on the shoulder joint? It didn't bring any relief, even temporarily? I ask because you mentioned that you are basically using your arm strength when trying to get up. If the electrodes were placed near the injured joints, and you still had pain in your arms, you may have additionally injured the bursa in your upper arms. That can happen when a person tries to lift more weight than what their muscles are capable of lifting. With a supersize person, it can happen when basically only using the arms to pull the body up into a standing position or when trying to pull the body's weight up steps or stairs. When the bursa become inflamed, or if they burst, there is a constant pain between the shoulder and just above the elbow, where your upper arm muscles are located. It can be extremely painful until the bursa heal. Bursitis can take up to four months to heal. If the doctor can't (or won't) visit to better access your pain, possibly explain to the physical therapist exactly where the pain is, and what type of pain it is, and how often it lasts, and if movement makes it worse.
> 
> I can honestly tell you, that most professionals in the medical field just don't have the experience of dealing with people of our size. Because they haven't treated many super and ultra sized patients, they don't always know what the right treatment is. Even with most medications, trials and dosages are only standard for those weighing up to 220 pounds.




YES!!!! Thank you. That's exactly where it is injured and exactly how it was injured. I was trying to explain it to the PT and the OT but they were not understanding it. Now I have the words I need. This is great. Networking with others helps so much. Thank you for your information.

Yes, about the cortisone I am aware of that side effect and the others. I had discussed that with her a few shots ago. She agreed that it was a better way to go since i am dependent on my arms t get in and out of bed.
She and I both know that pain pills are not the option in my case. They put me under too deep and cause me breathing difficulties. I have been using motrin and arthritis strengtyh tylenol. She told me to use hydrocodone for the pain but a week ago but I did try one and it still causes me breathing difficulties.I asked for a milder one and so far have not gotten anything prescribed. So I'm not holding my breath.Mostly I am using meditation for pain relief.

Lexi


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## Angel

Ella Bella said:


> that I'm gonna sound like a cold hearted bitch here, but I've just got to say this anyway.
> 
> Several times I've seen you mention excersizes or activities that you should be doing but you just dont because it hurts too much. Of course it hurts, but you have to move anyway. You are in a position where you've got take your health seriously, more seriously than you did when you allowed yourself to gain to 700 pounds.
> 
> I dont know what its like to live life at your weight, I do know what its like to live life at mine of just over 300 pounds. When I decide to go for a jog does it hurt? Damn skippy it does, all this fat bouncing around hurts but I'd deal with the hurt of bouncing fat any day over the reality of immobility.
> 
> I'm not trying to be mean here, the doctors and hospital had no right to treat you the way they did. I just dont want to see you become more of a victim, not only of the way you were treated but the way you dont treat yourself. You can't be passive in a time like this, if it takes 2 people to get you out of bed then get those 2 people to help you get out of bed as much as you can stand it. Those rubber bands hurt? Then do something else with your arms, use a can of veggies and pump weights with it. Just move, you've gotta move otherwise that bed is gonna be your deathbed.
> 
> Lexi, I dont know you personally nor have I ever chatted with you on the boards but I hope that things all work out for you. I hope that you are able to find adequate health care and I also hope that you decide to aggresively pursue your own good health.




I'd like to mention something here. The pain that a young and healthy 300 pound mobile person experiences while or after jogging is not the same type of pain that a person with a joint injury experiences or that a person having barely any cartilage experiences.


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## Lexi

Michaela said:


> *1. Nobody deserves to be treated the way you were treated and I really hope you'll feel better in the near future.*
> 
> but
> 
> 2. Didn't you see that coming ? You didn't gain to over 700 lbs over night, right ?
> 
> I know it' s none of my business but this is an open message board, so...
> 
> 3. Doesn't anybody know someone with power (politician, celebrity...) who can help her ?


Hi Michaela,

Feel free to give out your point of view. I want to get all feedback I can so that I can try to figure out a game plan to get back my mmobility.

In answer to your question; I was not gaining on purpose. That never was my intention. I did try to speak to my local representative. All she did was tell me that my county was trying to buy a bariatric ambulance. I have since discovered that even after coming to my house so many times over the years for emergencies and having actually on this last time giving them my measurments. the new ambulance will not be wide enough to fit me in.

Sigh


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## fatgirlflyin

Angel said:


> I'd like to mention something here. The pain that a young and healthy 300 pound mobile person experiences while or after jogging is not the same type of pain that a person with a joint injury experiences or that a person having barely any cartilage experiences.



No where in my post did I say that it was the same. In fact what I said was that I DO NOT know what its like to live life at 700 pounds but that I knew how I (I being me) feels at my 300 pounds. 

So that goes without saying that if it hurts me its gottat be more painful for someone heavier than me...


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## EbonySSBBW

Ella Bella said:


> No where in my post did I say that it was the same. In fact what I said was that I DO NOT know what its like to live life at 700 pounds but that I knew how I (I being me) feels at my 300 pounds.
> 
> So that goes without saying that if it hurts me its gottat be more painful for someone heavier than me...




I think that what she is referring to is the way that you spoke about exercise. You said "Of course it hurts, but you have to move anyway." The point is that there is a "good" hurt and a "bad" hurt when it comes to exercise. If a person has an injury or sickness and it hurts to exercise that doesn't mean that they should just suck it up and push on. They could end up doing even more damage to themselves. Since none of us really know Lexi's condition or exactly everything that she is dealing with I don't really think it is our place to prescribe any time of exercise program for her. That is why she needs *professional* help which is the purpose of this thread.


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## PrettyLynn

lexi, i am so, so sorry that this happened to you! i'm glad others were able to offer advice, since i can't.... most of all, i hope you are able to get well quickly... second to that, i hope you make life very hard for the people who wronged you.

my thoughts are with you.


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## fatgirlflyin

EbonySSBBW said:


> I think that what she is referring to is the way that you spoke about exercise. You said "Of course it hurts, but you have to move anyway." The point is that there is a "good" hurt and a "bad" hurt when it comes to exercise. If a person has an injury or sickness and it hurts to exercise that doesn't mean that they should just suck it up and push on. They could end up doing even more damage to themselves. Since none of us really know Lexi's condition or exactly everything that she is dealing with I don't really think it is our place to prescribe any time of exercise program for her. That is why she needs *professional* help which is the purpose of this thread.



I didn't prescribe an excersize program, just said that in my opinon that some movement is better than none. I can't imagine any doctor telling anyone that they should lay in bed with no movement. I was just suggesting that if it hurts to do one thing why not try doing something else that doesn't hurt?

Again this is all only my opinion, just like all the other posts about how patients should be treated by doctors were opinions of other people. I didn't see any posts from a professional with the exception of Miss Vickie.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Ella Bella said:


> It doesn't matter, I also didn't ask because its none of my business.
> 
> Lexi absoultely needs support but support comes in more forms than hand holding and commiserating. I can be just as supportive saying I feel for you and I'm sorry for the pain you are going through but please be strong and if no one will help you then help yourself.
> 
> My grandfather was a very obese man, with major mobility issues. He chose to give up because it was just too hard rather than fight and regain his health.
> 
> If you felt that my post was Monday morning quarterbacking then that's fine, you are entitled to your opinion but hindsight is 20/20.


 
Until you walk a mile in another's shoes - you have no idea and you are being VERY judgemental. I think it's mean and unnecessary.


----------



## Lexi

Ella Bella said:


> that I'm gonna sound like a cold hearted bitch here, but I've just got to say this anyway.
> 
> Several times I've seen you mention excersizes or activities that you should be doing but you just dont because it hurts too much. Of course it hurts, but you have to move anyway. You are in a position where you've got take your health seriously, more seriously than you did when you allowed yourself to gain to 700 pounds.
> 
> I dont know what its like to live life at your weight, I do know what its like to live life at mine of just over 300 pounds. When I decide to go for a jog does it hurt? Damn skippy it does, all this fat bouncing around hurts but I'd deal with the hurt of bouncing fat any day over the reality of immobility.
> 
> I'm not trying to be mean here, the doctors and hospital had no right to treat you the way they did. I just dont want to see you become more of a victim, not only of the way you were treated but the way you dont treat yourself. You can't be passive in a time like this, if it takes 2 people to get you out of bed then get those 2 people to help you get out of bed as much as you can stand it. Those rubber bands hurt? Then do something else with your arms, use a can of veggies and pump weights with it. Just move, you've gotta move otherwise that bed is gonna be your deathbed.
> 
> Lexi, I dont know you personally nor have I ever chatted with you on the boards but I hope that things all work out for you. I hope that you are able to find adequate health care and I also hope that you decide to aggresively pursue your own good health.




Ella,

No, I do not think you are cold hearted. I do understand the point you are trying to make. Of course I do not want to stay imobile so I do try to make the most of the bad situation I am in and move what I can. My step daughters and I spend an hour each day singing to the 70's music I like and they dancve on the floor and I dance in my bed.I move my waist and I turn at the waist. I reach for my toes which I can still touch 

Plus the singing to the music helps my lungs LOL

Lexi


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Lexi said:


> Ella,
> 
> No, I do not think you are cold hearted. I do understand the point you are trying to make. Of course I do not want to stay imobile so I do try to make the most of the bad situation I am in and move what I can. My step daughters and I spend an hour each day singing to the 70's music I like and they dancve on the floor and I dance in my bed.I move my waist and I turn at the waist. I reach for my toes which I can still touch
> 
> Plus the singing to the music helps my lungs LOL
> 
> Lexi



Thats great Lexi. I'm glad that you didn't think I was being cold hearted. I spoke only out of concern, not judgement and maybe a little of that past pain from watching my grandpa go through what he did. LMAO @ touching your toes, I dont know if I can do that myself its been so long since I've tried.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Until you walk a mile in another's shoes - you have no idea and you are being VERY judgemental. I think it's mean and unnecessary.



I was being neither mean nor judgmental but again, your opinion and you are entitled to it.


----------



## EbonySSBBW

Lexi said:


> Ella,
> 
> No, I do not think you are cold hearted. I do understand the point you are trying to make. Of course I do not want to stay imobile so I do try to make the most of the bad situation I am in and move what I can. My step daughters and I spend an hour each day singing to the 70's music I like and they dancve on the floor and I dance in my bed.I move my waist and I turn at the waist. I reach for my toes which I can still touch
> 
> Plus the singing to the music helps my lungs LOL
> 
> Lexi



Good for you Lexi.  I think it's great that you are able to keep a positive attitude after all that has happened to you. I'm also glad that you have things that you can do to have some fun. Stay strong!


----------



## Wayne_Zitkus

Ella Bella said:


> I was being neither mean nor judgmental but again, your opinion and you are entitled to it.


You may not have meant to be mean or judgmental, Ella Bella, but that's how your posts came across to many of us.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

There was a post on here that pointed out that I said I was gonna sound like a cold hearted bitch, and while I was responding to Lexi's post it disappeared?

I didn't see who posted it, nor was I able to read the entire post. Just that last line caught my eye about it must be something about the being a cold hearted bitch. So I hope that whoever posted it that your little dig brought a smile about for you. 

Its not always easy going against what you know to be the popular opinion and doing so in a public forum. I said what I felt I needed to say and I said it out of care for a fellow human being. I wasn't disrespectful in any way, shape, or form and it saddens me to no end that because I posted something that someone disagreed with that they in turn felt the need to disrespect me.  

Ok that was my wah wah moment, I'm done now.


----------



## activistfatgirl

This thread needs to return to well wishes to Lexi and no more "how'd you get there" posts. Of course anyone in this position is getting that all over the place.

Let's hope that this thread stays friendly for other very SS folks to contribute how they got out of this place, if they did. Their advice might be very helpful.

People saying "why didn't you stop at 300???" and things to that affect do not create safe space, even with the best intentions.


----------



## JoyJoy

"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to activistfatgirl again."


----------



## EbonySSBBW

Ella Bella said:


> There was a post on here that pointed out that I said I was gonna sound like a cold hearted bitch, and while I was responding to Lexi's post it disappeared?
> 
> I didn't see who posted it, nor was I able to read the entire post. Just that last line caught my eye about it must be something about the being a cold hearted bitch. So I hope that whoever posted it that your little dig brought a smile about for you.
> 
> Its not always easy going against what you know to be the popular opinion and doing so in a public forum. I said what I felt I needed to say and I said it out of care for a fellow human being. I wasn't disrespectful in any way, shape, or form and it saddens me to no end that because I posted something that someone disagreed with that they in turn felt the need to disrespect me.
> 
> Ok that was my wah wah moment, I'm done now.



The post that you are referring to was posted by me. However, you are completely wrong. My post simply quoted the part of your post where you told Lexi to use cans to pump as weights and that it did sound a little like you were prescribing exercise. The last sentence said: Yes, there were others that also gave advice but yours stood out to me. I guess it was that whole cold-hearted bitch thing. 

I deleted the post after reading Lexi's post to you. She is so kind and if she is able to be ok with things that people are saying to her then that's all that is important. I don't want to sit here and discuss her when she is right here to speak for herself. Therefore, I let it go...sometimes it is important to do that especially when we are getting off track from what this thread is really for. Especially at times when you are unsure of what exactly was said or who said it and are basing everything on assumptions.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

I was just thinking. What about hospitals in your area where WLS is performed on a regular basis. Not suggesting you get surgery, that's a private and personal choice. But they would have to have equipment large enough and sturdy enough for a supersize person would they not?


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist

Ella, I understand your point. I think even Lexi understands that she's going to have to drastically change her life.

Lexi, this list of fat friendly doctors might possibly help of someone hasn't posted it already: http://cat-and-dragon.com/stef/fat/usa/us_fl.html


----------



## Angel

Ella Bella said:


> I was just thinking. What about hospitals in your area where WLS is performed on a regular basis. Not suggesting you get surgery, that's a private and personal choice. But they would have to have equipment large enough and sturdy enough for a supersize person would they not?



Not necessarily. WLS isn't typically preformed on individuals weighing over 500 pounds. Most medical equipment is only rated for up to 450 pounds, often not even rated for above 350.

One of the main concerns is getting approval for treatment. Morbid obesity, or super morbid obesity alone is not a good enough reason to be hospitalized. There have to be severe or life threatening complications to be approved for hospitalization and for treatment.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Angel said:


> Not necessarily. WLS isn't typically preformed on individuals weighing over 500 pounds. Most medical equipment is only rated for up to 450 pounds, often not even rated for above 350.



I didn't know that, I just thought for sure there would be sturdy equipment and understanding doctors there of all places.  It was a thought...


----------



## TraciJo67

Ella Bella said:


> I didn't prescribe an excersize program, just said that in my opinon that some movement is better than none. I can't imagine any doctor telling anyone that they should lay in bed with no movement. I was just suggesting that if it hurts to do one thing why not try doing something else that doesn't hurt?
> 
> Again this is all only my opinion, just like all the other posts about how patients should be treated by doctors were opinions of other people. I didn't see any posts from a professional with the exception of Miss Vickie.



Actually, what you said was "damn skippy" it hurts when you go out and jog, and your entire post implied that exercise should hurt (or that movement is so important, she should ignore the pain). Quite a number of postings here are disappointingly judgmental in tone & implication.

I am not a medical professional either, so I can't advise you, Lexi. I don't think it matters how you got to be where you are at; what matters now is how to get you in a better place. I'm sure that you are taking professional advise with regard to your diet & exercise program. I sent you an email a few days ago - I'm sure that you are overwhelmed right now. Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do to help, even if it's just to provide a friendly ear.


----------



## BBW Betty

Lexi, I'm so sorry you've had to deal with all this crap, especially from medical professionals. I don't have an y advice to offer, just ((((hugs)))). Will be sending prayers and good thoughts your way.

Betty


----------



## Rainahblue

Lexi, I'm even more in awe of you.
Despite what you're currently going through, you come across as a patient, intelligent woman who loves herself enough to seek help. Laying your story out for the world to see cannot be easy, but you handle it with pride, dignity, and kindness no matter what judgements are spoken.

 *Hoping I can be like Lexi when I grow up.*​


----------



## Lexi

SamanthaNY said:


> I'm torn here, Lexi. I've struggled with whether to post any of these concerns since I don't want to take away from your plea for help. I sympathize with your plight, and have tried to offer some resources for you. I'm disgusted that the medical community seems to have abandoned you so thoroughly - but that's also confusing for me; your claims describe offenses so egregious (and illegal), and I personally have never experienced anything close to that (having encountered my share of size-prejudiced professionals). I don't doubt the veracity of your claims - however, I have to express my confusion over how you got to where you are today. Wasn't there any way to sound the alarm bells earlier? I'm assuming that your health has declined over a number of years, with a series of events all accumulating to this point where you need aggressive help. But why weren't concerns raised 2 years ago, or 200 pounds ago, when you might have had more options available? I imagine at some past point, you would have had much more control over your own situation, and not at the mercy of the health community, who now receive all the blame.
> 
> I suppose I'm asking this not just for myself, but for anyone else who posted on and/or read that 'fear of gaining' thread. I hope when/if I see changes in my own abilities that I will be able to recognize them and act appropriately - but perhaps it's not that easy. I'm hoping that some disclosure from you can help shed some light on that for all of us.




Samantha,

Thanks for writing. Without writing pages upon pages about my medical struggles over the last 15 years I am going to attempt to condense it all into a few paragraphs. I became homebound literally overnight 15 years ago.

I went to take a test for insurance a breathing test lung function. I was approximately 350 lbs then. I was driving a car, working, raising 3 kids and relatively active. That night after taking the test I ended up being taken by ambulance to the hospital. I was diagnosed with double pneumonia and placed on oxygen. I gained 30 lbs in 3 weeks while in the hospital. I was sent home still on IV antibiotics and on oxygen. My condition deteriorated. They could not figure out what was causing it. Years later it was analyzed and the doctors figure there was a bacterium inside the doctors machine. I must have gotten in that day and it went right through me. Since I had no symptoms before that. Since that time my weight has been going steadily up. There have been many associated problems related to it including hemorrhaging so bad for 2 years they were transfusing me weekly with 10 units of blood. Many times I came very close to dying before they could get the blood into me.

There were many hospitalizations with pneumonia and weeks in icu. Many bouts of unexplained weight gains where I would suddenly gain 30 - 40 lbs very fast for no reason. I would diet and stay on a low sodium 2 percent diet. Its hard when you diet and still gain. It gets very depressing. Yes there were many times when I ate and deserved the gain. Food definitely is something I enjoy. However as most people that have reached my size dieting and losing and gaining became a bad cycle which makes it even more difficult to achieve weight loss and mobility.

For the last 5 years my husband has faithfully helped me 24 /7 to try to get me more mobile. We keep getting stopped at each turn. Before he was with me I had help only sporadically and sometimes none for a week at a time. I could not leave my room since I did not fit through the door. I could not get groceries . Those times I had to rely on pizza delivery and Chinese food. Not bad for the taste buds but not good for weight.. Many times when I would take photos of my models they would run up to the grocery store for me afterwards. I have to say I have a great group of ladies on my site and they helped me through many times when no one else was there.

I would like to tell you that yes you will notice the signs of immobility creeping up on you.If things are still going good for you health wise and lifestyle wise then you may not make the changes you should make to survive and keep yourself healthy and mobile. For me my website was good and bad. Yes it gave me great strength and friendship, It helped me a bit financially and allowed me at times to survive. It helped me give other people positive feeling about themselves at whatever weight they were. However I did get so caught up in doing my website that I stupidly allowed myself to continue rising in weight.


----------



## Lexi

Rainahblue said:


> Lexi, I'm even more in awe of you.
> Despite what you're currently going through, you come across as a patient, intelligent woman who loves herself enough to seek help. Laying your story out for the world to see cannot be easy, but you handle it with pride, dignity, and kindness no matter what judgements are spoken.
> 
> *Hoping I can be like Lexi when I grow up.*​



Hi Raina.

You made me smile tonight. Thank you that is a very nice comliment.


----------



## crazygrad

If you have a local WLS surgery center that is a Center of Excellence, you may have better luck finding a facility taht can accomodate a person of higher size. In order to maintain that ranking, they have to people and facilities to accomodate a wide range of sizes so you might luck finding help of some kind with such a facility.


----------



## Lexi

crazygrad said:


> If you have a local WLS surgery center that is a Center of Excellence, you may have better luck finding a facility taht can accomodate a person of higher size. In order to maintain that ranking, they have to people and facilities to accomodate a wide range of sizes so you might luck finding help of some kind with such a facility.



Yes actually back in 1996 I was scheduled to have the surgery. The morning of the surgery the hospital sent me home and had cancelled the surgery. The physician had lost 2 patients in the past week and they decided it was to great a risk.A few years latr I saw the Dr on 20/20 being exposed for all the suits against him. He actually lost his license in florida.

Then about 18 months ago I tried to get it again through celebration hospital in Florida. However with my oxygen use for the last 15 years they were not comfortable scheduling it. They want me to get down to 450 before reconsidering it.


----------



## loves2laugh

Lexi said:


> Yes actually back in 1996 I was scheduled to have the surgery. The morning of the surgery the hospital sent me home and had cancelled the surgery. The physician had lost 2 patients in the past week and they decided it was to great a risk.A few years latr I saw the Dr on 20/20 being exposed for all the suits against him. He actually lost his license in florida.
> 
> Then about 18 months ago I tried to get it again through celebration hospital in Florida. However with my oxygen use for the last 15 years they were not comfortable scheduling it. They want me to get down to 450 before reconsidering it.




HOLY CRAP TALK ABOUT LUCK!


----------



## crazygrad

If you're interested in WLS at a later date, that's somethign to think about when you're stronger, but for now, you may be able to find a doctor or program that can provide both facilities that will work for you and doctors experienced in working with people with exceptional issues that are at least in part due to weight. There is a program at OSU called Living Well that pre surgery folks are supposed to take (others take it as well)- 6 mos. of nutrition and exercise work done with professionals who are accustomed to working with the obese at a range of sizes, and conditions ranging from heart disease, to apnea, to high blood pressure and diabetes and more. You want look at university medical centers in your area and find if they have such a program. the emphasis is on healthy weight loss through sustainable lifestyle changes including eating, exercise, stress management and so on. OSU's program has a fitness center with a trained staff on hand to monitor exercisers- you might be interested in finding such a program so someone can be there to watch your exercise, and keep you safe and motivated. Good luck


----------



## Theatrmuse/Kara

Dear Lexi:

Let me begin this by saying I really admire the strength you have shown coming forward asking for advice. You have proven yourself a strong woman that is trying to find a solution or answer to help you achieve a healthier YOU.

The best advice I have noted is to contact an attorney and the advice to document all your dealings with those health professionals you have come in contact with during this time.

Second, I advise you to contact NAAFA, which is in the middle of its' annual convention this week, so I would call after Monday and leave a message for Carole Cullem, co-chair of NAAFA. (Last year I was co-chair with Carole and NAAFA has began the process developing of a fund that would help retain an attorney for discrimination cases. I am not certain of the outcome but am CERTAIN that Carole will be able to give you good legal advice.)

My email is [email protected] and I will be contacting Carole myself if you would like and would like you to email me so we can work together.

YOU, right now, TODAY are the main priority and hopefully NAAFA and some of us NAAFAians will be able to champion with you side by side!
Big fat hugs to you tonight, 
Kara (Brewer Allen)


----------



## BBWMoon

Lexi,

When you mentioned Hydrocodone, I flinched a little. When I first injured my back a few years ago, I slowly took pain pills to get through my days. At first it was a life saver, because otherwise I couldn't move... but I hated taking the pills and ended up rarely doing so. I gained about 75lbs. This was my life event change from below 350 to shooting up above 400. I was out of work for two months, but I didn't sit there binge eating.

I strongly believe aside from a lower mobility period, the drugs affected my body enough to cause such a weight gain.

Of course, it's only my opinion... but just be careful with pain medication.

Also, I recently researched Lymphedema and they claim that people who do have this illness retain a lot of fluid. Is it possible that you have this? Diurectics don't necessarily work with Lymphedema, it's a different treatment due to injured/affected Lymph nodes.

~Allie


----------



## Lexi

BBWMoon said:


> Lexi,
> 
> When you mentioned Hydrocodone, I flinched a little. When I first injured my back a few years ago, I slowly took pain pills to get through my days. At first it was a life saver, because otherwise I couldn't move... but I hated taking the pills and ended up rarely doing so. I gained about 75lbs. This was my life event change from below 350 to shooting up above 400. I was out of work for two months, but I didn't sit there binge eating.
> 
> I strongly believe aside from a lower mobility period, the drugs affected my body enough to cause such a weight gain.
> 
> Of course, it's only my opinion... but just be careful with pain medication.
> 
> Also, I recently researched Lymphedema and they claim that people who do have this illness retain a lot of fluid. Is it possible that you have this? Diurectics don't necessarily work with Lymphedema, it's a different treatment due to injured/affected Lymph nodes.
> 
> ~Allie



Hi there

Well I also do not like Hydrocodone because it can be quite addictive. I have seen a few people trying to get off of it after they realized what had hapened. They went through a major withdrawal on it.I have never taken pain medication for more then a day or two. I hate taking meds as it is. I only actually take two medications.I take levothyroxide and I take bumetanide which is a water pill.Yes I have been diagnosed with Lymph edema.

I am glad you were able to overcome the effects of hydrocodone


----------



## Lexi

Theatrmuse/Kara said:


> Dear Lexi:
> 
> Let me begin this by saying I really admire the strength you have shown coming forward asking for advice. You have proven yourself a strong woman that is trying to find a solution or answer to help you achieve a healthier YOU.
> 
> The best advice I have noted is to contact an attorney and the advice to document all your dealings with those health professionals you have come in contact with during this time.
> 
> Second, I advise you to contact NAAFA, which is in the middle of its' annual convention this week, so I would call after Monday and leave a message for Carole Cullem, co-chair of NAAFA. (Last year I was co-chair with Carole and NAAFA has began the process developing of a fund that would help retain an attorney for discrimination cases. I am not certain of the outcome but am CERTAIN that Carole will be able to give you good legal advice.)
> 
> My email is [email protected] and I will be contacting Carole myself if you would like and would like you to email me so we can work together.
> 
> YOU, right now, TODAY are the main priority and hopefully NAAFA and some of us NAAFAians will be able to champion with you side by side!
> Big fat hugs to you tonight,
> Kara (Brewer Allen)




Yes that is a very good suggestion. I will do that on monday. I will get my thoughts together and my info and email you. Thanks for your help.

Lexi


----------



## Les Toil

Lexi, you've consistantly been one of the kindest and sweetest women I've encountered in the online BBW community. I'm really, really hoping all the help and assistance you need comes your way. Even though you've already displayed the might of Hercules in the face of the worst human hurdles, I wish you continued strength in all of this.

Sincerest hugs,
Les


----------



## BBWMoon

Lexi,

Aside from your weight, "What If" you're retaining a large amount of fluid due to the Lymphedema. It's quite possible that the Diurectics are just staving off the new fluid, but not releasing the actual retention. 

If you were able to aggressively fight the fluid retention, it might help you regain control of some mobility??? 

http://www.lymphnet.org/resourceGuide/treatmentCenters.htm#inPatientTreatmentProgram

I read that Lymphedema holds the hand of Obesity and that one may cause the other, in either order. (Still under speculation).

They suggest Ace bandages are good with compression, also.


----------



## Michaela

Lexi, would you mind making your miserable situation public if it really helped you ? Not in a humiliating way of course...
I think it is worth a try.


----------



## Emma

Michaela said:


> Lexi, would you mind making your miserable situation public if it really helped you ? Not in a humiliating way of course...
> I think it is worth a try.



I was thinking of posting that now. I've been sat racking my brain trying to think of a way to help her. So much so I even dreamed about it. The only thing I can think of is asking her to forward her letter to all that chatshows, newsshows and things like that. Yes it could be humiliating but if they can help her regain her life then I'm sure it's worth it but that's probably something she's already concidered. Even contacting the diet people could be an option. Theres got to be something/someone who can help her. I hate sitting here and not being able to do anything.


----------



## Santaclear

I have nothing to add Lexi but my best wishes that you'll get through this and find the strength to get to a better situation on all fronts. :wubu:


----------



## Jane

Santaclear said:


> I have nothing to add Lexi but my best wishes that you'll get through this and find the strength to get to a better situation on all fronts. :wubu:


I second that.


----------



## Lexi

Santaclear said:


> I have nothing to add Lexi but my best wishes that you'll get through this and find the strength to get to a better situation on all fronts. :wubu:



Thank you.It is nice to know there is a friendly force behind me in this battle


----------



## CuteyChubb

Lexi, I can't give you medical advice but I did read something about a very large man losing weight on the Zone diet. I've never tried it myself but perhaps by reading about him you might find encouragement in knowing you are not alone and it is far from impossible to turn your situation around. I read every one of the posts in this thread just to make sure I wasn't telling you about him when someone else already had. My heart goes out to you. I will remember you in my prayers. Please try to remember that although your circumstances seem very hard, there is always someone else who has even bigger problems. That's what I try to remember when I get down. You have lots of people who are rooting for you. Don't give up.

http://www.thefatproblem.com/entry/1235-pounds-manuel-uribe-loses-200-pounds-without-surgery/


----------



## Carol W.

Lexi, dear, you good, good woman: my heart literally aches for what you are going (and have gone) through. I have myself experienced just enough of what you are dealing with-no means as horrendous, believe me-to literally wince and cringe as I read your story. You have received many good wishes here-please let me add my own to them. Copious prayers will be heading your way......


----------



## mossystate

Lexi, onward and upwards!! I hope you are able to get the help you need, and the strength to accept and handle the tough work ahead of you!And I wish for you all the emotional support you can gather around you.

As for the question of..how did you get to this place..I have to say..we all have our 'brick walls'..and for our own very personal reasons, sometimes we have to hit them many times before we know we are worth so very much..I do not need to know...'why'...I just hope to hear of your progress and to know you are doing for YOU!

If I had a dime for every time I have heard..."Monique, why aren't you doing ____________?...I would have at least a couple of rolls of dimes..*wink*


----------



## SamanthaNY

Lexi said:


> Samantha,
> 
> Thanks for writing. Without writing pages upon pages about my medical struggles over the last 15 years I am going to attempt to condense it all into a few paragraphs...


Lexi - thank you for taking the time and effort to answer my questions. I admire the grace with which you're addressing this thread, especially because I'm sure it can't be an easy thing to do. 

I've been thinking more about advocates that might help you. Is there a way you can contact a local congressman/woman or some other type of local politician? They'll usually respond well to requests from citizens (I've utilized mine for things as seemingly minor as snow removal), and they might have the pull (especially in conjunction with local media) to get you help in a more timely manner - and if nothing else, then they can be instrumental in kicking the butts of the folks that have already denied you help. I know this sounds like a goofy idea - but give it a try... I think it might at least be a sounding board and perhaps lead to other resources. 

The only other thing I can think of - and I cringe to even type it - is one of the weight loss 'gurus' like Richard Simmons and/or Dr. Phil. I know, I know... they make me wanna hurl too - but, they're high profile - and you can bet that they have top notch doctors and hospitals at their disposal. If we're talking about saving your life, perhaps dealing with those devils isn't such a bad thing.


----------



## Lexi

Michaela said:


> Lexi, would you mind making your miserable situation public if it really helped you ? Not in a humiliating way of course...
> I think it is worth a try.



I am open to doing whatever it takes to get free from this situation!


----------



## Emma

Does anyone know how to contact Gina (ArealFG)? I can't remember what weight she got up to, but she was immobile and unable to stand and she managed to get the help that saved her life, so she might have a contact or two that would help?


----------



## FEast

I wanted to thank everyone who replied in this thread. Much good advice was offered, and Lexi may just find the help she needs. I know that she very much appreciates your kindness and caring.

I'm also posting so that this thread will again appear in the "New Posts" (bumping it), in case someone missed it last week and might have something helpful to offer.

Thanks, everybody!~Bountifully, Fuchsia


----------



## missaf

CurvyEm said:


> Does anyone know how to contact Gina (ArealFG)? I can't remember what weight she got up to, but she was immobile and unable to stand and she managed to get the help that saved her life, so she might have a contact or two that would help?


 
She's a member on the board, she might see this post, we hope!

Lexi, I've been thinking of you for quite some time, and for the most part, everyone has given the advice I would give. Stay strong, and take one day at a time. 

It can't hurt, you can always ask Richard for help.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

I was going to suggest Richard Simmons too. He seem to be able to move mountains when it comes to getting help for very fat people. It's worth a shot.




missaf said:


> She's a member on the board, she might see this post, we hope!
> 
> Lexi, I've been thinking of you for quite some time, and for the most part, everyone has given the advice I would give. Stay strong, and take one day at a time.
> 
> It can't hurt, you can always ask Richard for help.


----------



## FEast

I wrote to Richard several years ago on Lexi's behalf and never got so much as an acknowledgement. Perhaps I'm jaded, but I think perhaps he helps only those whom he can use to promote his business in some way. Hope I'm wrong...


----------



## Angel

FEast said:


> I wrote to Richard several years ago on Lexi's behalf and never got so much as an acknowledgement. Perhaps I'm jaded, but I think perhaps he helps only those whom he can use to promote his business in some way. Hope I'm wrong...




Early 1990s. A typical day. I was at home, alone, watching television. The phone rang. I answered. "Hello?"

"Hi W____! How are you today?" I didn't recognize the voice. It sounded like a Hispanic male. The background noise made me think that whoever the caller was, that they were on an airplane flight.

"I'm fine." The word fine was articulated in a way that probably sounded like more of a unspoken question: Who is this? 

"W_____, this is Richard Simmons." This person didn't sound like the highly energetic and bubbly personality that I had seen on television. His voice was one of a sincere and caring individual. Richard went on to explain that two of my friends had sent him a letter expressing their concern for me. He told me their names and related part of what they had written. Richard and I talked for probably 20 minutes. He was very kind and very understanding. 

About two weeks later Richard sent a card and a photo. He had said that I could write if I wanted. I did write back, thanking him for his kindness and for his concern. I also wrote a long and detailed letter about my life as a fat female. I decided to express more about some of the issues that had been briefly discussed during the previous phone conversation. I think that I sent along a photo of myself, too.

A couple months later, I received a package in the mail. Richard had sent his then current Deal-A-Meal and one of his VHS tapes. I was also invited to his gym in California and told that I could continue to write or get in contact with him if I needed him to call me again. 

I told my physician about Richard's call. My doctor the told me that he had met Richard once. He said that Richard was a very humble and quiet person, and wasn't like what we see on television. 

One of my skinny female friends also met him. He was in a mall promoting one of his books or tapes, and spotted her. It was during the winter and she was wearing some type of a very fluffy furry looking coat. He walked up to her and hugged her and told her that he liked her coat!

From what I have read and heard, Richard freely gives of his time. A few years back, he came to a local medical center to speak with patients who had endured knee or hip replacements. His purpose for being there was to encourage those in attendance to try to remain as active as possible and to not give up even if they were experincing pain. There was no charge to those who attended.

Richard gives of his time and from his heart because he understands what it is like to be fat. He understands the difficulties that some of us face on a daily basis. His business may be that of one helping those who so desire to lose weight, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't have compassion or concern for fat people. In fact, that is exactly why he does what he does.

I am sure that Richard receives thousands of letters a week. Feast, you could try contacting someone by phone at Slimmons (the gym) in California. There used to be receptionists that you could talk to there.


----------



## Russell Williams

Everything I say you've probably already done or thought about doing and rejected but I will make my suggestions anyway.

1. Over the years your work has has brought pleasure to many people. It is now time for those who have enjoyed your work to try to help you in your time of need.

2,You state, "They are in Maryland and so I am trudging along blindly on the program against the nurses advice since she has no way to guide me without my test results. My doctor has even refused to give me the results of my tests." 

I live in Maryland and if you think it useful it is possible that I can go visit the place. I can envision a dialogue that starts:

Russell: I am here because Lexi needs some information about the program.

Worker: We do not release confidential information.

Russell: (as he hands a cell phone to the worker) I understand that. That is why Lexi is on the other end of this phone and is anxious to talk to you. It is a free call.

Worker: I do not know who is on that cell phone.

Russell: True, but you have Lexi's phone number. Feel free to use this cell phone to call Lexi. For you it is a free call.

Worker: I am too busy to do that right now.

Russell: I understand. That is why I brought about six hours of paperwork that needs to be done. I can sit right here and do it.

3. When a hospital employee makes a bigoted or non-caring statement write it down, read it back to them, and ask them if they are being correctly quoted. If they say that they said no such thing do not argue. Ask for and write down the revised quote. Keep the notepad visible. If bad treatment is being rendered say, "Am I correct in writing down that at 9:25 p.m. August 20, 2006...occurred.

There are those who might argue that such things should not be done because such activities will antagonize the medical professionals.

It can also be argued that some of the medical professionals are acting as if they do not care whether you live or die. Do not go quietly into the night. Fight as if you are willing to die fighting for decent medical treatment and maybe you will get the decent medical treatment that will allow you to live.

I do not know if it will make a difference but I am willing to make phone calls and sound as if I am someone important. If you e-mail me that you would like my input I will e-mail you my phone number. If you choose to give me your phone number I will call you. 

Yours truly,

Russell Williams -- author, Declaration of Fat Independence


----------



## Russell Williams

I know or know people who know three women who at some time in their lives have weighed between 750 and 850. If Lexi wants, I can either give Lexi's phone number to them or ask for their permission to give their phone numbers to Lexi.

A friend of mine, who has weighed as much as 530 pounds, has always been treated with great kindness and consideration at the local medical facilities.

Yours truly,

Russell Williams


----------



## Jane

You know, Russell, that is all such a generous offer, and I have a feeling you are just the person who would follow through on what he offered.


----------



## missaf

Russel strikes me as one of the strongest and most charismatic activists we have. I always love his posts and his concern and love for all of us shines through.


----------



## SamanthaNY

Lexi - any updates?


----------



## Russell Williams

I can not find any messages from Lexi. However she has never spoken to me and does not know me. She probably has better and closer and more trusted resources then I can be.

Russell


----------



## FEast

SamanthaNY said:


> Lexi - any updates?


Perhaps Lexi will give you an update today, although that depends on the state of her arm. Some days the pain is excruciating, some days she can type. In the meantime, here's what I know about her circumstances:

The hospital's home care division forced her doctor to visit her. However, at best, it was a very unsatisfactory meeting.  She questioned everything Lexi told her, declined to examine her, and made all kinds of threats. Also, Lexi told her that fluids had been pouring out of her body for days, and the doc insisted she prove it by showing her the soiled diapers. Upon seeing them, the doc called the pharmacy and cancelled Lexi's potassium Rx! So much for "do no harm," huh? That's an electrolyte imbalance just waiting to happen!  I didn't get into the rest of the details of the visit with her, because I was too upset, and it makes me feel so helpless. And if _I_ feel this way, can you imagine how _she_ must be feeling?!

In the meantime, the "doc" also said she was reporting Lexi to social services...again. They, in turn, will probably try to force her into a nursing home against her will, which they've tried to do in the past when she was living alone. What I don't get is that she now has family and aides helping her, but they're maintaining that she's a danger to herself, and she'll have to hire a lawyer to fight it. What I also don't get is why they'd try to force her into a nursing home when there are none that can accommodate her! The same hospital that kicked her out after treating her so abominably and insisting they were not set up for someone of her size now maintains that their affiliated nursing home can take her!  

One good thing has come out of all of this. She has finally found a bed that she can get in and out of more easily, so she'll be able to be more mobile and get back and forth to the bathroom more often, thus hopefully building up some of her muscle and ability to get around more easily.  The problem is, however, that it costs about $6,500, and she doesn't have the money.  She's hoping that her customers will buy more of her videos, and more will join her site, and is planning a sale to get that started. In the meantime, if anyone is interested in donating to her cause, I'll be happy to tell you how to make a donation if you contact me.

Bottom line is that Lexi is one of our own, and she is in dire straits. I'd give anything to get her out of the State of Florida (and caution any fat person who's considering moving there). She's tried to get the media involved, as well as her legislators, but thus far to no avail. She thanks you all for your concern and advice, and welcomes any further input you might have. I, too, THANK YOU! :bow: ~Bountifully, Fuchsia


----------



## snuggletiger

That's just so sad.


----------



## Dark_Hart

this is really sad


----------



## love dubh

hmmmm....

Let's say that there are about 200 active members here at Dimensions.

Now let's say that each member donates, oh, 20 to 40 bucks.

That's between 4000 and 8000 bucks!

Not to mention whatever she gets from her site.

And if we all saved our $1, our $5 from getting our morning coffees and little things throughout the day, it'll add up to that 20!

Just a suggestion.


----------



## Emma

Yeah I've easily spent $40 today on crap. A CD, some lunch and some other bits. I could go without that if it would help someone else, it's only a small loss from us all but if we all do it we could easily raise enough for the bed.


----------



## FEast

Thank you, Maire and Em. Your hearts are definitely in the right place. If everybody here donated even $1, she might be able to get financing for the rest. 

However, I've had exactly one offer of help so far, and that was from Traci Jo, who offered her expert advice as to how Lexi might acquire the bed through a governmental plan. Only problem is that it takes a doctor to recommend it, and it's obvious she has no doctor, at least not one to speak of.~Bountifully, Fuchsia


----------



## Lexi

FEast said:


> Perhaps Lexi will give you an update today, although that depends on the state of her arm. Some days the pain is excruciating, some days she can type. In the meantime, here's what I know about her circumstances:
> 
> 
> Thank you Fuchsia
> 
> I appreciate you helping out and updating everyone. My situation is not getting better at all. My doctor told me that if she gives me a shot of cortisone then I will feel better and she prefers I stay in pain for now with it so I don't want to use it. As I explained to her I understand I would not want to redamage it but a shot usually lasts 6 months and at least that would give me a lot of painfree time. However, that is not meant to be for me.
> 
> Through the help of a lot of you great people I did find a bed that will work for me.Affording it is a different story.It would allow me to get out of bed from a high spot and into bed from a lower position so I can do it without missing. Unfortunately with a mattress the cost is 6400 with shipping.Here is a link to the bed in case anyone wants to see it. I am sure there are others out there that might benefit from this bed.
> 
> http://www.bariatricbeds.com/LowBed800.htm
> 
> The Matress is the one below
> 
> http://www.bluechipmedical.com/prevent.htm
> 
> 
> If anyone has any ideas how I can get the bed please let me know. I only have medicaid and from what I was told today they will not pay for it. I am willing to do whatever I need to to make it happen. Thank you traci for your help with your idea but my doctor will not cooperate with my getting the bed.She did not even sign the papers i needed to get a power chair a few months ago so I still do not have one. I had my physical therapist that I had when i first came home from the hospital write a letter of medical necessity and fax it to my doctor for her signature. The social worker said the dr did not feel it was a medical necessity and that I had to learn to live with my situation. The bottom line I feel and this is just my opinion. I think she feels fat is not an acceptable disability.
> 
> I had a meeting earlier today with the division of social services that deals with the handicapped.Apparently, they had an "annonymous" call to their office saying that I was not able to continue care of myself safely in my home.They met my husband and my step daughter who is 23 and helps me out a lot. After speaking to Ciar at great length they did determine that I had adequate safe home care.That my falls were not because of someones negligence but more due to lack of mobility.They told me they would fill out the forms to get me on a list for some assistance in my home to help my family take care of me. Then they laughed and said dont expect to hear anything because you will probablly stop being disabled before you ever reach the top of the list.They said they knew people that had been on it over 5 years.
> 
> Thank you all for standing behind me and being so supportive.It really helps.
> If some of you wrote on here and I didn't personally acknowledge you it is just that I am in a lot of pain and typing makes it worse. I do appreciate all of you though.
> 
> Lexi


----------



## TraciJo67

Lexi said:


> FEast said:
> 
> 
> 
> Perhaps Lexi will give you an update today, although that depends on the state of her arm. Some days the pain is excruciating, some days she can type. In the meantime, here's what I know about her circumstances:
> 
> 
> Thank you Fuchsia
> 
> I appreciate you helping out and updating everyone. My situation is not getting better at all. My doctor told me that if she gives me a shot of cortisone then I will feel better and she prefers I stay in pain for now with it so I don't want to use it. As I explained to her I understand I would not want to redamage it but a shot usually lasts 6 months and at least that would give me a lot of painfree time. However, that is not meant to be for me.
> 
> Through the help of a lot of you great people I did find a bed that will work for me.Affording it is a different story.It would allow me to get out of bed from a high spot and into bed from a lower position so I can do it without missing. Unfortunately with a mattress the cost is 6400 with shipping.Here is a link to the bed in case anyone wants to see it. I am sure there are others out there that might benefit from this bed.
> 
> http://www.bariatricbeds.com/LowBed800.htm
> 
> The Matress is the one below
> 
> http://www.bluechipmedical.com/prevent.htm
> 
> 
> If anyone has any ideas how I can get the bed please let me know. I only have medicaid and from what I was told today they will not pay for it. I am willing to do whatever I need to to make it happen. Thank you traci for your help with your idea but my doctor will not cooperate with my getting the bed.She did not even sign the papers i needed to get a power chair a few months ago so I still do not have one. I had my physical therapist that I had when i first came home from the hospital write a letter of medical necessity and fax it to my doctor for her signature. The social worker said the dr did not feel it was a medical necessity and that I had to learn to live with my situation. The bottom line I feel and this is just my opinion. I think she feels fat is not an acceptable disability.
> 
> I had a meeting earlier today with the division of social services that deals with the handicapped.Apparently, they had an "annonymous" call to their office saying that I was not able to continue care of myself safely in my home.They met my husband and my step daughter who is 23 and helps me out a lot. After speaking to Ciar at great length they did determine that I had adequate safe home care.That my falls were not because of someones negligence but more due to lack of mobility.They told me they would fill out the forms to get me on a list for some assistance in my home to help my family take care of me. Then they laughed and said dont expect to hear anything because you will probablly stop being disabled before you ever reach the top of the list.They said they knew people that had been on it over 5 years.
> 
> Thank you all for standing behind me and being so supportive.It really helps.
> If some of you wrote on here and I didn't personally acknowledge you it is just that I am in a lot of pain and typing makes it worse. I do appreciate all of you though.
> 
> Lexi
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Lexi, I'm so sorry that you are going through this run-around. It happens, and it's extremely frustrating when you're already struggling with your health. From what you've said here, your doctor is clearly either incompetent, or so fat-phobic that it effectively renders her so. You are clearly an articulate woman, and I think it may help if you write a letter to your physician, stating clearly how your weight is affecting your health, mobility, and quality of life. You should clearly express to her exactly what it is you require from her, and why, and why the action that she's taken to date is inadequate. I would CC it to the Department of Human Services in your state, and to her direct supervisor, and make sure that who you send this to is clearly marked. I wouldn't write anything at this point about legal action -- your doctor should get the message that the letter is documentation of your concern & of her possible liability. And if SHE doesn't get the message, her superiors definitely will.
> 
> This website provides you with more information, if you would like to pursue a complaint (though I would try the letter of concern to your doctor first):
> 
> www.citizen.org/HRG/QDSITE/FAQ.htm
> 
> I hope this helps.
Click to expand...


----------



## Lexi

Russell Williams said:


> I know or know people who know three women who at some time in their lives have weighed between 750 and 850. If Lexi wants, I can either give Lexi's phone number to them or ask for their permission to give their phone numbers to Lexi.
> 
> A friend of mine, who has weighed as much as 530 pounds, has always been treated with great kindness and consideration at the local medical facilities.
> 
> Yours truly,
> 
> Russell Williams



Russel if you can email me at [email protected] I can give you my #.It woulld be great to talk to them. Thank you


----------



## MissToodles

Lexi, have you tried to contact Lynn Mcafee? I'm sure someone here may know of her email address. 

http://www.cswd.org/medlynn.html


----------



## fatlane

OK, I am up for donating some cash. What's the PayPal email address I can send some money to? Enough talk, let's have some action.

Whatever religion or lack thereof we may subscribe to, we're supposed to be moral and helpful people. Lexi's in a trap and the most important thing right now is to get her out of that trap. 

I have some undiagnosed stuff and it's hard for me to sift through all the suggestions people make to determine the ones I've heard before and the ones I haven't. By now, most are ones I've heard before. I don't know what kind of action I can take to improve my situation, but Lexi's lucky enough to have something of a plan. Let's make this happen.

So what's the PayPal account I can send to?


----------



## Carrie

fatlane said:


> OK, I am up for donating some cash. What's the PayPal email address I can send some money to? Enough talk, let's have some action.



Same. .


----------



## leighcy

I am so sorry to hear about your horrible ordeal, Lexi.  This post made me cry. I would also love to help, so if anyone sets up a Paypal account, I'll be happy to donate some money.


----------



## Jane

Carrie said:


> Same. .


Ditto.
damned 10 minimum


----------



## fatlane

Jane said:


> Ditto.
> damned 10 minimum



That'll get on the Conservatives' radar. They love that word for some reason.

HEAR THAT ALL YOU CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIANS? I, THE ANARCHIST CHRISTIAN, CHALLENGE YOU ALL TO A DUEL OF CHARITY! WINNER GETS TO GO TO HEAVEN!


----------



## Jay West Coast

fatlane said:


> That'll get on the Conservatives' radar. They love that word for some reason.
> 
> HEAR THAT ALL YOU CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIANS? I, THE ANARCHIST CHRISTIAN, CHALLENGE YOU ALL TO A DUEL OF CHARITY! WINNER GETS TO GO TO HEAVEN!


 

Count that _two_ not-conservative Christians ready to duel. I'm in.


----------



## FEast

Lexi is overwhelmed (and embarrassed) by your offers of support, so she asked me to reply. We're going to get something set up, and all donations will most definitely be appreciated. Keep an eye out here for further info, and THANK YOU, everybody! :wubu:


----------



## Jane

FEast said:


> Lexi is overwhelmed (and embarrassed) by your offers of support, so she asked me to reply. We're going to get something set up, and all donations will most definitely be appreciated. Keep an eye out here for further info, and THANK YOU, everybody! :wubu:


Money where our mouths are Feast and Lexi. We say it, we need to live it.


----------



## Theatrmuse/Kara

Just give us the when and where for donations. 

Lexi, did you phone Carole Cullem with NAAFA yet.........I still am waiting for your info.......remember [email protected].

Sounds like the fat community wants to help..........just let us!
Hugs, Kara


----------



## Lexi

Theatrmuse/Kara said:


> Just give us the when and where for donations.
> 
> Lexi, did you phone Carole Cullem with NAAFA yet.........I still am waiting for your info.......remember [email protected].
> 
> Sounds like the fat community wants to help..........just let us!
> Hugs, Kara



Hi Kara,

Yes I am composing a email to you now. I will phone her tomorrow. I was just giving them time to get back from convention plus I have been in a lot of pain these last few days.I have also been bogged down trying to get through this adult services mess and tracking down some resources to try to get a bed.

Check your email in the am and mine will be there.

Thank You again

Lexi


----------



## jeannieo

I don't post here often - and I don't know Lexi at all. I just read through this thread. I can't tell you how much it moved me. I'd be absolutely happy to donate to the bed she needs. I've been in a somewhat similar situation - but nowhere near as bad. Do we have any info on where and how to donate yet?

I wish Lexi lived in Mass. I was 660lbs and had life saving surgery at Mass General in Boston. I am down to 320lbs. Not necessarily from WLS but because I had surgery to remove a pancreatic tumor after suffering for three years with extremely low blood sugar. I was treated very shabbily by every NH hospital I went to and they kept attributing my low blood sugar to my weight. They couldn't have been more wrong.

But I finally went first to Lahey Clinic in Burlington, MA. They diagnosed me with an insulinoma and sent me on to the best surgeon at Mass General. I was ALWAYS treated with the utmost respect, kindness, and compassion from both hospitals. At times it seemed they went out of their way to make me comfortable. I can't believe physicians, nurses and hospitals could treat someone so terribly! I hope karma comes back to bite them someday.


----------



## FEast

Oh, man, I was just finishing editing a post about this when it was somehow deleted; how darned frustrating, especially this late at night!  Ah, well, let me try again.

We've found a PayPal account where you can make a donation towards Lexi's bed. It's:

[email protected]

Lexi is extremely grateful for everybody's kindness. :wubu: I just got off the phone with her, and she told me that she's beginning to receive e-mails from people who want to donate, so I wanted to post this asap. Please send whatever you can spare, even if it's just $1. If we all pitch in, she'll have enough in no time. It turns out that the company that sells the bed is very tiny, so they don't offer financing, which means Lex will have to come up with the full amount.  

I'm sure she'll give you an update in a few days, and as an additional incentive (for those who need it  ), I'm sure she'll post photos of her new bed with her in it eventually. This is a wonderful opportunity for you to directly help one of our own, and know that you've done a really good thing.

I'm very proud of you all for stepping up to the plate. I often feel very helpless when Lexi tells me her problems (and what I've told you is only the tip of the iceberg; she's had more devastating problems since I've known her than a honey-covered person tied to an anthill), and your generosity will restore this old woman's faith in mankind. :bow: 

I truly believe that much of her shabby treatment is caused by "professionals" who are fat phobic. They have decided that Lexi got this way on her own, is totally to blame for her problems, thus doesn't deserve the kind of help they willingly give to others. Her own doctor is obviously disgusted by her size, and is determined to punish her for it. How many of us can relate to this and tell personal stories of similar discriminatory treatment? I suspect a scary number of us can.  ~Bountifully, Fuchsia


----------



## love dubh

Getting all up on the situation is what I like to do best.

Here's me in for donating.

<33333333 x 6.23x10^23

I have a PayPal account, but I don't know how to use it. What about a money order?  Or an envelope with money in it?


----------



## FEast

maire dubh said:


> Getting all up on the situation is what I like to do best.
> 
> Here's me in for donating.
> 
> <33333333 x 6.23x10^23
> 
> I have a PayPal account, but I don't know how to use it. What about a money order?  Or an envelope with money in it?


Pay Pal's pretty easy to use. But for those who can't figure it out confused: you seem pretty smart to me  ) or for those who'd prefer to mail a donation, you can send it to:

Alexis Adams
P. O. Box 195864
Winter Springs, FL 32719

Thank you!~Bountifully, Fuchsia


----------



## FEast

jeannieo said:


> I don't post here often - and I don't know Lexi at all. I just read through this thread. I can't tell you how much it moved me. I'd be absolutely happy to donate to the bed she needs. I've been in a somewhat similar situation - but nowhere near as bad. Do we have any info on where and how to donate yet?
> 
> I wish Lexi lived in Mass. I was 660lbs and had life saving surgery at Mass General in Boston. I am down to 320lbs. Not necessarily from WLS but because I had surgery to remove a pancreatic tumor after suffering for three years with extremely low blood sugar. I was treated very shabbily by every NH hospital I went to and they kept attributing my low blood sugar to my weight. They couldn't have been more wrong.
> 
> But I finally went first to Lahey Clinic in Burlington, MA. They diagnosed me with an insulinoma and sent me on to the best surgeon at Mass General. I was ALWAYS treated with the utmost respect, kindness, and compassion from both hospitals. At times it seemed they went out of their way to make me comfortable. I can't believe physicians, nurses and hospitals could treat someone so terribly! I hope karma comes back to bite them someday.


Thank you for the info, Jean! I suspect Lexi's not the only one who'll be glad to have it. I'm glad you finally got the help you needed. I've often found that it sometimes takes a great deal of perserverence on the part of the person who has the least energy to fight such terrible treatment to get the proper diagnosis and treatment. It's certainly happened to me, and I suspect it's happened to lots of others here, too.~Bountifully, Fuchsia


----------



## Theatrmuse/Kara

Hey Lexi....got your email this morning and responded in turn! Going to paypal now to help you with your new bed. God Bless and hang in there, sweetie! We are all in this big ole world together.:smitten: 
Big fat hugs, Kara


----------



## fatlane

Money sent. Here's hoping SOMEONE in the system there gets moved by this plight and expedites state aid. We'll do our part as best we can, so don't stop trying, Lexi!


----------



## Lexi

jeannieo said:


> I don't post here often - and I don't know Lexi at all. I just read through this thread. I can't tell you how much it moved me. I'd be absolutely happy to donate to the bed she needs. I've been in a somewhat similar situation - but nowhere near as bad. Do we have any info on where and how to donate yet?
> 
> I wish Lexi lived in Mass. I was 660lbs and had life saving surgery at Mass General in Boston. I am down to 320lbs. Not necessarily from WLS but because I had surgery to remove a pancreatic tumor after suffering for three years with extremely low blood sugar. I was treated very shabbily by every NH hospital I went to and they kept attributing my low blood sugar to my weight. They couldn't have been more wrong.
> 
> But I finally went first to Lahey Clinic in Burlington, MA. They diagnosed me with an insulinoma and sent me on to the best surgeon at Mass General. I was ALWAYS treated with the utmost respect, kindness, and compassion from both hospitals. At times it seemed they went out of their way to make me comfortable. I can't believe physicians, nurses and hospitals could treat someone so terribly! I hope karma comes back to bite them someday.



Hi Jean,

I am happy to hear that there are positive hospital/doctor stories to be told. It gives me hope that out there somewhere there is still help thats available.Gives me renewed faith to keep fighting. I have never been the type of person to give up. I just have to keep overturning more boulders that are in my way. Some of them are darn heavy to move by yourself. Thats why its great to have friends like all of you out there. When the load gets to tough to handle it by yourself so many nice people offer to help.

Big Hugs

Lexi


----------



## Lexi

Theatrmuse/Kara said:


> Hey Lexi....got your email this morning and responded in turn! Going to paypal now to help you with your new bed. God Bless and hang in there, sweetie! We are all in this big ole world together.:smitten:
> Big fat hugs, Kara




Thank you so much Kara. I am getting excited. Every day when i stand up to go shower I panic that I am going to end up on the floor since the beds so far down from being broken. Now I see some hope that I am getting closer to getting a bed. Then I can actually get up more then once a day and start to reclaim my mobility.Now that put a big ole smile on my face today. Thank you so much for your help.

Lexi


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## Lexi

fatlane said:


> Money sent. Here's hoping SOMEONE in the system there gets moved by this plight and expedites state aid. We'll do our part as best we can, so don't stop trying, Lexi!




Thanks so much for your support. It is really sad to have to fight a fat phobic doctor in order to get help. The sad part is that she is NOT skinny. She is around 225 lbs herself.You would think she would be sympathetic NOT APATHETIC.

Thanks again for your help.

Lexi


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## Jane

Sent. Best of luck.


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## 4honor

I am the sole owner of a jewelry business. I have donated to Lexi via company check (since paypal takes a part of the $$ you send) and am challenging every business owner on the boards to make SOME contribution to this worthy cause.


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## TallFatSue

Lexi said:


> It is really sad to have to fight a fat phobic doctor in order to get help.


Agreed. It's a mystery to me why doctors don't realize that they harm themselves as much as their patients if their attitudes and environments scare away patients rather than help them. It makes as much sense as shopkeepers who drive away their own customers.

There are tiny glimmers of good news here and there. This afternoon I was paging through some office furniture catalogs, trying to maintain a friendly and productive workplace for my staff. I came across this literature which is also on their website. It's more for the healthcare industry than a regular office like mine, but it's still nice to see some companies are trying to accommodate obese people.

Steelcase Office Furniture: Obesity and Its Effects on the Spatial Environment
http://www.steelcase.com/na/obesity...articles_knowledgedesign.aspx?f=16417&c=21753


> Obese patients are individuals who need to visit their physicians regularly. Often times the discomfort they feel when entering the traditional medical facility discourages their willingness to keep an appointment therefore decreasing their chance of receiving good healthcare.
> [snip]
> Being able to fit into a chair without the worry of breaking the seat or getting stuck in it is where we as a manufacturer can make a difference.
> [snip]
> Are there seats available for larger people within the seating areas? Will the patient fit into the seating? Can the seating accommodate all scenarios of people and human interaction that may take place? Is the seat high enough for easy access and sturdy enough to provide support when sitting down and pulling up?


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## BBWMoon

TallFatSue said:


> Agreed. It's a mystery to me why doctors don't realize that they harm themselves as much as their patients if their attitudes and environments scare away patients rather than help them. It makes as much sense as shopkeepers who drive away their own customers.
> 
> There are tiny glimmers of good news here and there. This afternoon I was paging through some office furniture catalogs, trying to maintain a friendly and productive workplace for my staff. I came across this literature which is also on their website. It's more for the healthcare industry than a regular office like mine, but it's still nice to see some companies are trying to accommodate obese people.
> 
> Steelcase Office Furniture: Obesity and Its Effects on the Spatial Environment
> http://www.steelcase.com/na/obesity...articles_knowledgedesign.aspx?f=16417&c=21753




I totally support Steelcase. I have a Steelcase chair at work for me, and now all of my employees. I removed the arms on my chair for my comfort.

The Criterion chair which I have is 800.00 retail but I found a good quality used Business Furniture dealer in the NY area, and paid just 175.00 a chair.

No complaints.


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## BBWMoon

I just sent my Donation through PayPal.

If You're next to read this and haven't done so, and are able to...
Please do!

All the Best to you, Lexi!


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## Lexi

BBWMoon said:


> I just sent my Donation through PayPal.
> 
> If You're next to read this and haven't done so, and are able to...
> Please do!
> 
> All the Best to you, Lexi!



Thank you very much. Its very much appreciated.If I can get this bed I will be able to get up and down much more safely and more often which will enhance my mobility.Thank you so much for your donation towards it.

Lexi


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## Sweet Tooth

Brenda said:


> <snipped>
> I know this because I watched my sister go through this. She felt she was betraying Size Acceptance and was so afraid of dying from surgery that she would not consider it when her weight was beyond what she could manage and have any sort of a life. All along she bought the lie that you should eat what you want and your body would reach set point. Ironically if she had had WLS she might be alive today.
> 
> Brenda



Size acceptance doesn't need martyrs. We need people of all sizes leading the best life they're able to live.

I'm so sorry for your sister's passing, Brenda. I've seen mild cases of how people have been treated here and in chat for losing weight. It's horrible to think that the only use such people have for you is for your fat.

Lexi, I'm very sorry for all the horrible treatment you've had to endure. Knowing how hard it is when my infertility doctor lectures me about weight and gives me a hassle [although it isn't my health that's causing problems], I can't imagine how horrible it must be to NEED care and have it refused!

This is only my opinion, so feel free to take it as you choose. But I think you do what you have to do at this point. You raise a ruckus. Go public. Is it better to have your pride and be dead because you haven't been given proper medical treatment? Do what you must do to get yourself taken care of. Your friends here will support what you need to do. Even if they don't agree with every choice you might make, they aren't in your shoes and they should be happy to have you amongst them regardless of what it took. May you kick insensitive butt.


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## Emma

I have to wait a week or two to donate when I've got some money but rest assured I will. But I was thinking maybe we could have a seperate thread that could be made into a sticky so that more people could see it. Especially in the paysite area. Lexi is one of the original models that paved the way for all other BBW models. If the paysite girls could all donate the fee that one person pays for a month on their site to lexi then we would be a lot closer to the goal of getting the bed. 

What do people think?


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## ThatFatGirl

CurvyEm said:


> But I was thinking maybe we could have a seperate thread that could be made into a sticky so that more people could see it. Especially in the paysite area. Lexi is one of the original models that paved the way for all other BBW models. If the paysite girls could all donate the fee that one person pays for a month on their site to lexi then we would be a lot closer to the goal of getting the bed.
> 
> What do people think?



It would be great if every faction of this community felt inspired to give. How about all the guys who encouraged Lexi to get this size? How about every guy who ever wanked at the idea of her immobility? 

A sticky on all the boards would be great. Hopefully _everyone_ will feel the compassion to help out someone who really needs it.


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## Emma

ThatFatGirl said:


> It would be great if every faction of this community felt inspired to give. How about all the guys who encouraged Lexi to get this size? How about every guy who ever wanked at the idea of her immobility?
> 
> A sticky on all the boards would be great. Hopefully _everyone_ will feel the compassion to help out someone who really needs it.



I've posted it on the paysite board. No replies as of yet. Hopefully it will be made into a sticky. I hope the guys give too. Instead of one month at a paysite they could donate the money to her. I'm sure they've seen enough of her to feel compelled to give. I only wish I could give more. If I wait till my student loan comes through I can afford maybe $200 but it isn't nearly as much as I'd like to give.


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## Missy9579

I have been reading this thread from the begining, and opted not to post, because I knew that my posting would not be what everyone wanted to hear. But I have now decided to post.

Why not instead of taking the $6,000 that you want for a new bed,,,,which will enable you to continue to stay at the weight that you are, take it and fly to MA, to see the doctor that another chatter posted about? Why not take it and go ANYWHERE where there is a doctor who is willing and able to help you. I have a friend who weighs about 550 pounds and lives in Hollywood, FL, who has a willing and able surgeon for the lap band surgery, and will do it laproscopically. There are doctors out there who would be more than willing to help you. And as I said this new bed will only allow you the comfort to stay at the weight that you are. And give you no reason to loose weight, since you will have the comfort of this new bed.

Also, have you spoken to a lawyer about filing suit against the doctor, and the hospital? If things are as bad as you say, then there is definitly negligence on their part....file suit, maybe you would get the money you need that way? I see a lot of people making wonderful suggestions, and I am wondering if you are following through with each and every one of them?

I cant help but think that there is much more that can be done, and wondering if it is being done, or if asking for donations is the only step that you want to take. I am all for helping people who need it, as long as I see them helping themselves.

You said that social services would be called and they would try and force you into a nursing home. Maybe a few months in a nursing home or rehab facility would not be so bad. I worked as a CNA for over 5 years, in rehab and nursing homes. Maybe a strict diet, which would be folowed to the T in a nursing home, would help you loose the first part of the weight that you seem to so deperatly want to loose? You say you will do anything to be freed from this situation, why not that?

I think that there are a lot of other things that can be done. And I know that none of this is what anyone wanted to hear, but I am a firm believer if you bring something to an open forum, then you must be prepared to hear the good, and the bad, and peoples honest opinions.

Good luck


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## Sandie S-R

Guy and I just made a donation, Lexi. We both hope it helps you to more health and mobility. 

Hang in there!


----------



## Lexi

BigCutieViolet said:


> I have been reading this thread from the begining, and opted not to post, because I knew that my posting would not be what everyone wanted to hear. But I have now decided to post.
> 
> Why not instead of taking the $6,000 that you want for a new bed,,,,which will enable you to continue to stay at the weight that you are, take it and fly to MA, to see the doctor that another chatter posted about? Why not take it and go ANYWHERE where there is a doctor who is willing and able to help you. I have a friend who weighs about 550 pounds and lives in Hollywood, FL, who has a willing and able surgeon for the lap band surgery, and will do it laproscopically. There are doctors out there who would be more than willing to help you. And as I said this new bed will only allow you the comfort to stay at the weight that you are. And give you no reason to loose weight, since you will have the comfort of this new bed.
> 
> Also, have you spoken to a lawyer about filing suit against the doctor, and the hospital? If things are as bad as you say, then there is definitly negligence on their part....file suit, maybe you would get the money you need that way? I see a lot of people making wonderful suggestions, and I am wondering if you are following through with each and every one of them?
> 
> I cant help but think that there is much more that can be done, and wondering if it is being done, or if asking for donations is the only step that you want to take. I am all for helping people who need it, as long as I see them helping themselves.
> 
> You said that social services would be called and they would try and force you into a nursing home. Maybe a few months in a nursing home or rehab facility would not be so bad. I worked as a CNA for over 5 years, in rehab and nursing homes. Maybe a strict diet, which would be folowed to the T in a nursing home, would help you loose the first part of the weight that you seem to so deperatly want to loose? You say you will do anything to be freed from this situation, why not that?
> 
> I think that there are a lot of other things that can be done. And I know that none of this is what anyone wanted to hear, but I am a firm believer if you bring something to an open forum, then you must be prepared to hear the good, and the bad, and peoples honest opinions.
> 
> Good luck



Hi Violet,

Thanks for responding. I think I also know the person your speaking about.We have been speaking on the phone and online if it the same one.

I have tried to get the surgery done actually.In fact I was actually just about 6 hours away from surgery when the hospital decide to stop the procedure.The physician had lost two patients in the recent past. One actually the night before. They felt due to my size and anestesia risks do to my oxygen use it would not be safe to proceed. I actually ended up seeing that Dr on a 20-20 broadcast a few years ago that he had lost his license. I also had my husband go to celebration Hiospital in Orlando where they regularly do the surgery and I was evaluated for the procedure. All the doctors felt that i need to reduce below 500. They felt around 450 lbs.

Yes, I agree with you that I reduce is an excellent option. I have been doing that since June 1st long before my bed broke.I have also been doing physical therapy and ETPS therapy.So I am doing a lot to change my situation. The bed breaking put a big damper in it. I have a lot of health issues that make it a slow process. I am using the Medifast diet.I have lost I feel approcimately 50-60 lbs on that so far.I cant really tell as I am not mobile enough to step onto the scale without busting my head. The fact that my doctor does not cooperate with the medifast nurse hampers me since I can not tell my different levels like ppotassium and magnesium.

After my experience in the hospital I am a bit gun shy about submitting to the
whole nursing home experience.Other then my hospital experiences I have only left my house maybe 5 times in 15 years.My bedroom and bathrooms are built to accomodate my shape and size.I have actually places my self on the waiting list for Andover nursing center in Ohio and I was told it could take well over 18 months to two years to even reach the point of being considered
When I was in the hospital iin Orlando the social workers called several nursing home none of which had any means to accomodate me other then what the hospital had which was nothing.Because of my shape a lot of the standard bariatric equipment does not work on me. Everyone says I'm a difficult shape to handle 

As far as flying to MA that wouuld be an amazing feat to pull off. I was actually asked to due a tv show in another country a while back and they were going to have me seen by their doctors over there. It became such a costly enterprises to move me into a plasne that they gave up.As the paramedics found out I dont even fit into the special bariatric ambulance.I am exactly four feet in each directions sitting.I dont fit through the frame of it.

If I can keep losing on this medifastI feel I can regain my mobility and lose the wight I need to function in society again.As all of you know I have nothing against being big. But I am not healthy and I am not happy so its time to change my life around.I want to live to watch my grandkids grow up.I want to have friends again that I actually get to see.I want to go to the parties everyone else goes to,. I have to do this there is no choice anymore.

Yes, I have contacted quite a few lawyers but in Florida pressing a malpractice or negligence suit is not only costly but a long tedious process. They do not want to take a case that is not going to bring in enough money to be worth it. When I was in the hospital and going through all of what I did I spoke to a number of attorneys that ciar had contacted. So far no one wanted to take the case.I did file HIIPa violations against them.It is in the hearing process right now. I also did file an intent to sue and have been speaking bacvk and forth to risk managment at the hospital over the last few months. So far I am not getting anywhere fast with it.

Yes I have followed through with most every idea on here that has been presented to me on the board or in email.It is going to take time I guess for something to click in and work.

Im confident that somehow everything will come together as it is meant to be.

Thank again for writing.

Lexi


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## ThatFatGirl

BigCutieViolet said:


> I think that there are a lot of other things that can be done. And I know that none of this is what anyone wanted to hear, but I am a firm believer if you bring something to an open forum, then you must be prepared to hear the good, and the bad, and peoples honest opinions.
> 
> Good luck



Actually, Violet, I'd say she has been prepared for all kinds of responses and has gracially replied to all, even those who seem to propose to know better what's good for her than she does herself. Including yours.

If this bed helps her get up from laying down and to the bathroom on her own, I'd say she more than deserves that little bit of dignity and better safety than her current situation provides. 

When did Lexi say she wanted to spend her life in bed? Your post wasn't even directed to me and I'm having a hard time not feeling offended for Lexi. I guess I just wouldn't assume to know someone's situation based on the little glimpse of it I get through posts here and my perception of someone based on their internet presence. That's all.


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## Missy9579

All I have to say is that I see a lot of excuses being made, even in your response to my post. She tried to have the surgery done years ago.....and it failed,,,,but how many times has she tried to get it done after that? 1 doctor that said you need to be that certain weight....I would call every single hospital and speak to every doctor that i could.,....not 1 that said i should be 500 pounds....as I said,,,my friend who lives in Hollywood,,,weighs 550 pounds and has a surgeon ready and willing to do her surgery.

As far as the nurisng home, if you NEED to be there then they NEED accomodate you. Simple as that. I saw my fair share or LARGE patients while working in one, we had to get a special double hospital bed for one woman, but we had to provide it for her. Especially since most are state funded. And as I said,,,,a strict diet could do a lot of good. As I am sure you, or any of us do not eat as healthy as we should at home. Gun shy or not, if it COULD help, then try it. You said you would do ANYTHING to be freed from this situation....

Flying out of your state would be expensive, but so is buying a $6000 bed....are you saying that it would cost more than $6000 to fly to MA, to see a doctor who could obviously help you?

Many people suggested going to the media....that it was a great way to get human intrest and maybe there would be people to come forth to help you...when should we expect to see a story or television piece on your situation? Im sure 1 of the many media sources would eat up this story.

I am sorry but I see a lot of excuses being made. I feel like you got yourself into this situation. You do not get imobile overnight. Why was it not enough at 500 or 600 pounds to want to get healthy? Im not a jaded person or cold hearted....I think there are a lot more that could be done. If these people around her care so much about her, they should be on the phone 24/7 calling the whole US for some answers. I watch TLC programs constantly about people such as the half ton man, or the 700 pound woman and they are able to find help , and a way to loose the weight, There are facilitys out there. And I think finding somewhere for you to go to be healthy would be a better approach than buying something to keep you at home, where you have managed to become so unhealthy.

Im not assuming anything in my posts, I am merely stating what I see, read, and what my opinion is. And it is simply that more should be done, than sitting around wiating for people to bail her out of a situation that she had fun getting into (benefiting financially from it). 

My other question is, what happend if she reasies $2000 for thsi bed, and it will be another year before she is able to save the $4000, will that $2000 be refunded, or will it be promised to sit in an account untouched, only for the bed?

Im not picking a fight, I just want to see every single option explored....


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## Dibaby35

Well first off...everyone needs a bed. Thats just sort of common sense. I don't know how not helping her with a bed is gonna help her. That's just ridiculous. So yeah what you guys are doing is great.

Second, Lexi if you are truely interested in WLS you really need to start doing some research. I'm almost positive that my Lap-band doctor, Dr. Santiago Horgan, has done people as large as you. If he doesn't I would bet they have information on who could help you. The thing is you need to search out for the best ones. Always checking their surgerical histories and what not. At the time I was doing my surgery I didn't have much choice...since he was the only one in the chicago area doing the surgery. But now its wayyy different. Also alot of the doctors go around the country proctoring other doctors. So it may be that he can work on you in a different part of the country. Just start calling...it can't hurt is what I always say. Also check out this website. It lists all the doctors that are approved to do the surgery.

http://www.lapband.com/lapband/portal.do

Before anyone jumps on my back I'm not trying to push the surgery. It's just that she said she was interested in the surgery still and I'm trying to get her the best info possible. I do believe it could help her and I think the Lap-band is wayy less riskier then the bypass. Hope things go well for you Lexi..take care.


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## Missy9579

Dibaby35 said:


> Well first off...everyone needs a bed. Thats just sort of common sense. I don't know how not helping her with a bed is gonna help her. That's just ridiculous. So yeah what you guys are doing is great.
> 
> Second, Lexi if you are truely interested in WLS you really need to start doing some research. I'm almost positive that my Lap-band doctor, Dr. Santiago Horgan, has done people as large as you. If he doesn't I would bet they have information on who could help you. The thing is you need to search out for the best ones. Always checking their surgerical histories and what not. At the time I was doing my surgery I didn't have much choice...since he was the only one in the chicago area doing the surgery. But now its wayyy different. Also alot of the doctors go around the country proctoring other doctors. So it may be that he can work on you in a different part of the country. Just start calling...it can't hurt is what I always say. Also check out this website. It lists all the doctors that are approved to do the surgery.
> 
> http://www.lapband.com/lapband/portal.do
> 
> Before anyone jumps on my back I'm not trying to push the surgery. It's just that she said she was interested in the surgery still and I'm trying to get her the best info possible. I do believe it could help her and I think the Lap-band is wayy less riskier then the bypass. Hope things go well for you Lexi..take care.




Thats exactly my point. IF she wanted the surgery, as she said she had tried to get before, there is some doctor out there, somewhere who will help her. Its a matter of wanting it, and investing the time and effort into finding it.

Yes, everyone needs a bed, Im not disagreeing, but instead of spending all the time and money researching and buying a special bed, put it to better use, research doctors, and spend the money to take yourself where you need to go to have surgery, or be wherever a doctor can help you.

Also, while poking aorund on Lexis site, as I was just curious what it was about, something on there was very disturbing to me. I dont know Lexi, I dont much of the model world before 3 years ago, but I see her site is all about her wanting to get fat. I didnt know this. So she WANTED To be this big, and benefit financially while getting there, and now that she IS this big, she wants help to not be anymore. It positivly confuses me. Also while poking around on her wish list, it's so very nice to see the array of shoes, sex toys and food items on there, instead of even 1 thing that she may need to improve her health. Put the bed on there, see if you can some money out of fans on there, or people who support your website. Tell the men who are members of your site to fore go it for a month, rather than saying on the plus size board that those men should send you the money they would pay to belong to a site.

I am sorry, I have read and read, and thought and though, and I just can NOT wrap my head around how someone can want this so badly, to be this big, get there, see its hard and want help to get back out of it. She brought it on herself. Again, if she was doing all she could to help herself, it would be one thing, but i refuse to donate to buy her a bed so she can lay in it and have phone sex for her site.

I do not believe anyone should have a hard life, or live in pain. At all. I am not cold hearted. I am simply being realistic... and stating that I see plenty of ways she could help herself, without asking for money from others. BUt it seems easier to just ask for the money. I would rather pay your telephone bill after you call every single hospital and surgeon in the US looking for the help, then send money for this bed.

Help yourself, and then maybe more people would help you.

Again, im not being mean,just realistic....and i know many of you do not agree with me,. and will even give me a hard time for my posts, but I know many of you support me and my ideas, by the amount of reps I have received


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## FEast

Dibaby35 said:


> I'm almost positive that my Lap-band doctor, Dr. Santiago Horgan, has done people as large as you.


I'm really having trouble sitting on my hands and not answering Violet's posts. However, Di, you obviously mean well, so I'd just like to point out here that Lexi has very severe breathing problems, and is on oxygen 24-7, as she's previously stated.

As someone who suffers "only" from asthma and almost died from anesthesia complications during a "simple" D&C a few years ago, I can tell you that I'd never recommend someone with Lexi's respiratory problems have this surgery...or any other surgery, for that matter. 

I was so traumatized by what happened to me (have told only a few people here the details, and still haven't been able to bring myself to post about it, even when the opportunity presents itself, since I don't want to frighten everybody too much, although it _is_ a cautionary tale), if I'm ever handed a diagnosis that will require me to have surgery or die, I'm afraid I'll have to opt for the latter. 

Sadly, that would be more palatable than the possible alternative of being totally paralyzed for the rest of my life, which, as a friend once put it, must be akin to being buried alive. Having now experienced what that total paralysis feels like (albeit for "just" a few hours), with the ensuing terror and inability to communicate in any way, I can tell you that he hit the nail right on the proverbial head.~Bountifully, Fuchsia


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## Missy9579

I also would just like to point out that I am not a 300 pound girl who is ignorant to the trials and tribulations of being extremely fat. For over a year I lived with one of my best friends who weighed 550 pounds at the time. People in chat know who I am speaking of. I helped her, with what she needed help with, i supported her in any way that I could, I went to her doctors appointements, I did all that I could to make her life as easy as I could, while NEVER enabeling her to stop doing what she could. During this time she supported me in ways that I needed. emotioanlly and financially. We were a great team and I loved and still love her very much.

But i watched everyday the troubles she had, the pain she had, and the rustration she had for her limitations. I know what it is about. I saw it first hand.

My friend is the nicest most giving caring person I know. And now, as her life goes on she is realizing that she wants to live more, and is considering lap band surgery, and as I stated has a surgeon lined up who will do it no problem.


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## gypsy

FEast said:


> I was so traumatized by what happened to me (have told only a few people here the details, and still haven't been able to bring myself to post about it, even when the opportunity presents itself, since I don't want to frighten everybody too much, although it _is_ a cautionary tale), if I'm ever handed a diagnosis that will require me to have surgery or die, I'm afraid I'll have to opt for the latter.
> 
> Sadly, that would be more palatable than the possible alternative of being totally paralyzed for the rest of my life, which, as a friend once put it, must be akin to being buried alive. Having now experienced what that total paralysis feels like (albeit for "just" a few hours), with the ensuing terror and inability to communicate in any way, I can tell you that he hit the nail right on the proverbial head.~Bountifully, Fuchsia



That is YOU. Regardless of what you think should or should not be done, how is it your business to say how someone in Lexi's position should live or die? And if Lexi has a gaining site? Then perhaps part of the proceeds of all the memberships to that site should go towards that bed. It is, after all, what helped this situation come to fruition.


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## FEast

Okay, I can't take anymore of this, and stay quiet. Violet's posts have really gotten under my skin, and while I usually prefer to sleep on something that makes me so mad, I feel compelled to make a couple of points here.

To begin with, Lexi never asked anybody for a penny, either here or anywhere else in these forums. I came here, as a friend who knows what's she's been through far more than most, to see if anybody might have some advice for her. This got the ball rolling, as I knew it would, because there are a lot of very smart people here, including some in the medical profession and other appropriate fields, who might know of things of which we hadn't thought or of which we didn't know.

If it evolved into some kind souls taking up a collection for her to try to help her get through these very bad times, why is that such a terrible thing? Nobody said anybody _MUST_ make a donation, and I see no need for this whole thing to devolve into snarky, accusatory posts by someone who's never walked even a few steps in Lexi's shoes. 

And someone who's in the modeling field herself should know that we tell fans things they want to hear all the time, just as other businesses do, if it means we can keep them happy. I'm not saying that we should cheat them, but I certainly use "language" with FAs that non-FAs would react to very differently, and my customers appreciate that.

I also know things about Lexi's personal life and why she wound up in the business that she did, and it's not a pretty story. Again, someone who's never been in Lexi's shoes, and who undoubtedly has her own story as to why she, too, is in this business, shouldn't be so ready to criticize Lexi.

Methinks perhaps that, just as I try not to react in anger and sleep on it before responding, someone who is undoubtedly hung over from last night's drinking spree (freely reported by her in these forums) might be feeling just a tad grouchy today, and should sober up completely before attacking someone who is obviously very much down.~Bountifully, Fuchsia


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## FEast

gypsy said:


> That is YOU. Regardless of what you think should or should not be done, how is it your business to say how someone in Lexi's position should live or die?


I fear that I didn't make my point as well as I might have, but was upset by what's being said, and for that I apologize.

What I meant is that I'd hate to see somebody in Lexi's poor health jeopardize their life with surgery, when there are other options open to her. Then again, If I had no other choice, I, PERSONALLY, would choose death. 

Why on earth would I have come here looking for help for Lexi if I wanted her to die? If that was the case, I could have kept my mouth shut and let the chips fall where they may. Sorry for any confusion.~Bountifully, Fuchsia


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## RedVelvet

FEast said:


> I'm sure [Lexi will] give you an update in a few days, *and as an additional incentive (for those who need it  ), I'm sure she'll post photos of her new bed with her in it eventually. * This is a wonderful opportunity for you to directly help one of our own, and know that you've done a really good thing.




Ah.....I see.


----------



## Lexi

BigCutieViolet said:


> All I have to say is that I see a lot of excuses being made, even in your response to my post. She tried to have the surgery done years ago.....and it failed,,,,but how many times has she tried to get it done after that? 1 doctor that said you need to be that certain weight....I would call every single hospital and speak to every doctor that i could.,....not 1 that said i should be 500 pounds....as I said,,,my friend who lives in Hollywood,,,weighs 550 pounds and has a surgeon ready and willing to do her surgery.
> 
> As far as the nurisng home, if you NEED to be there then they NEED accomodate you. Simple as that. I saw my fair share or LARGE patients while working in one, we had to get a special double hospital bed for one woman, but we had to provide it for her. Especially since most are state funded. And as I said,,,,a strict diet could do a lot of good. As I am sure you, or any of us do not eat as healthy as we should at home. Gun shy or not, if it COULD help, then try it. You said you would do ANYTHING to be freed from this situation....
> 
> Flying out of your state would be expensive, but so is buying a $6000 bed....are you saying that it would cost more than $6000 to fly to MA, to see a doctor who could obviously help you?
> 
> Many people suggested going to the media....that it was a great way to get human intrest and maybe there would be people to come forth to help you...when should we expect to see a story or television piece on your situation? Im sure 1 of the many media sources would eat up this story.
> 
> I am sorry but I see a lot of excuses being made. I feel like you got yourself into this situation. You do not get imobile overnight. Why was it not enough at 500 or 600 pounds to want to get healthy? Im not a jaded person or cold hearted....I think there are a lot more that could be done. If these people around her care so much about her, they should be on the phone 24/7 calling the whole US for some answers. I watch TLC programs constantly about people such as the half ton man, or the 700 pound woman and they are able to find help , and a way to loose the weight, There are facilitys out there. And I think finding somewhere for you to go to be healthy would be a better approach than buying something to keep you at home, where you have managed to become so unhealthy.
> 
> Im not assuming anything in my posts, I am merely stating what I see, read, and what my opinion is. And it is simply that more should be done, than sitting around wiating for people to bail her out of a situation that she had fun getting into (benefiting financially from it).
> 
> My other question is, what happend if she reasies $2000 for thsi bed, and it will be another year before she is able to save the $4000, will that $2000 be refunded, or will it be promised to sit in an account untouched, only for the bed?
> 
> Im not picking a fight, I just want to see every single option explored....




Violet,

Again, I do appreciate your taking time to respond. I just think you might have misread a few things in my reply. Before I actually Posted this I read further down your comment about my site. NO I am not a Gainer. I did not do this on purpose. What you see on my site are photos and that is it. I do have models that have chosen to do that but NO that was never my intention or fantasy. I do allow others their fantasy though. That is their right and their path.

In your writing you said you see excuses being made and you feel I got myself to this weight and i should have stopped before imonility. Ok you are right I should have stopped. I hope others do stop so they do not have to suffer.What does that change? I am still dealing with the same issue I was an hour ago. Coulda Woulda Shoulda does nothing to fix my problems. What will is telling others about it so it gives them vision to see what can happen to them. It gives me a avenue to try and get help.If you stop looking at ways to try to lay blame and ridicule that we can get past that an network together to find not only me an ansdwer for my situation but for many others that are reading this that also need help.

First of all I did say that I had tried to get the surgery again recently. My husband went to celebration hospital in Orlando last September to speak with them about my potential to be a candidate for surgery. They in turn checked with some doctors that did high risk patients in Ft Lauderdale and West Palm Beach. They went as far as reviewing my medical records. In fact they also set up for a dietitian to come out and help me. All the surgeons involved felt that due to my height and shape I would not be a good candidate for Laparoscopic surgery. I am happy for your friends that is. If thats the way she chooses. I was also on that television show in the UK recently. They put me in touch with Dr Fobi in California when they were here at my house filming. I did get to speak with his people who did not seem to think it was feasible for me until I lost weight and was off of the oxygen for a while. My lungs are very oxygen dependent after 15 years of using it. He was concerned about that since breathing complications were not something that is good to deal with during a high risk surgery.

Getting many opinions is a great idea. Scouting out different doctors and such. I am not avidly seeking out surgery to be my option. While I know it has helped many people I do not feel it is my way.

In your response you stated That if I NEED to be there then they Need to accommodate you There is a big difference in Accommodating you and Accommodating you in a safe way for you and a comfortable way . Their idea of Accommodating me in the hospital was to place me into beds that were futher damaging my body due to their structure and mattresses and they were accommodating me by washing me in bed.They Accommodated me by trying to stuff me into Hoyer lifts that were not built for my shape.End result the Mattresses cut off my circulation and lowered my blood pressure, The CNAs were hurting their backs trying to keep me clean. With the Hoyer lift they tried it 4 times and they dropped me 4 times. In the end they Dropped a hugh canister of Oxygen on my foot trying to stop from dropping me again because they tried to use the wrong bed.It was explained to me by Risk Management they did all of that to try to accommodate me.YES they did attemptto accommodate me. I do not argue that they did try to accommodate me. What I do feel is that if they had listened to me as the person that knows the most about my body and how I move best then a lot if not all the discomfort involved would have been eliminated.There is no need for them to accommodate me. I can shower here at home and not need a bed bath. If I get this bed I will be able to mobilize a lot easier.I of course will continue my medifast and will continue in my journey towards better health. 

You mention that you watch TLC all the time. Well I watched Discovery and found the story of Connie Jackson the Incredible Shrinking Woman. I found a way to get in contact with her and in turn she helped me get on Medifast. She used that as well. There are many people even larger then me using that as an option to Bariatric surgery. Up until I found her I was interested in the surgery as a last resort. Here is a link to her in case anyone is interested. Please tell her I sent you to her if you are interested. She is friend of a nurse practitioner that actually set my account up with medifast. She is very aware of my situation and has also put the word out to try to find another medical doctor or a nurse practitioner to come out to see me .

http://www.five.tv/programmes/extraordinarypeople/womanwholost/

My situation was brough to the Dimensions Family of people for advice, information ,brainstorming, networking. When you are scared, worried, apprehensive and at a loss for what to do you naturally seek out friends and family. After 8 years of having my site up, and reading Dimensions board faithfully this has become a home, a family and a place where I can find a friendly face. I do appreciate each and every one of you .It saddens me that I did allow myself to get to this point. No there I no excuses I have for that.Excuses do not help anyway. They can change nothing.

Thank you all for your continued support, your friendship, and your compassion.


----------



## Missy9579

FEast said:


> We've found a PayPal account where you can make a donation towards Lexi's bed. It's:
> 
> [email protected]
> 
> Lexi is extremely grateful for everybody's kindness. :wubu: I just got off the phone with her, and she told me that she's beginning to receive e-mails from people who want to donate, so I wanted to post this asap. Please send whatever you can spare, even if it's just $1. If we all pitch in, she'll have enough in no time. It turns out that the company that sells the bed is very tiny, so they don't offer financing, which means Lex will have to come up with the full amount.
> 
> I'm sure she'll give you an update in a few days, and as an additional incentive (for those who need it  ), I'm sure she'll post photos of her new bed with her in it eventually. This is a wonderful opportunity for you to directly help one of our own, and know that you've done a really good thing.
> 
> I'm very proud of you all for stepping up to the plate. I often feel very helpless when Lexi tells me her problems (and what I've told you is only the tip of the iceberg; she's had more devastating problems since I've known her than a honey-covered person tied to an anthill), and your generosity will restore this old woman's faith in mankind. :bow:
> 
> I truly believe that much of her shabby treatment is caused by "professionals" who are fat phobic. They have decided that Lexi got this way on her own, is totally to blame for her problems, thus doesn't deserve the kind of help they willingly give to others. Her own doctor is obviously disgusted by her size, and is determined to punish her for it. How many of us can relate to this and tell personal stories of similar discriminatory treatment? I suspect a scary number of us can.  ~Bountifully, Fuchsia




It seems to be asked that EVERYONE give even a dollar in this here thread, and I know that many people feel like they are being guilted into trying to make them give money, when they strongly feel the same way that I do. They, and I refuse to enable her to be like this any longer. And buying he rthis bed will only do that. There have been many posts similar to the above one, like on the paysite board telling the men to give money to lexi instead of joining a pay site. Maybe it hasnt been asked for by Lexi, but it sure has been asked for by you.

If you wanted the ball rolling, as you say , and looking for smart people to help, then try the media, as MANY people have suggested but a few have called the local media in the area and no one with this situation has contacted them, even though she says she is taking and doing all that is suggested.

If we want to turn this into a model debate, yes I model, But i am not sitting here gaining hundreds of pounds in front of a camera, profiting from it, BLOWING those profits and then turning to others for more money to abilme out of the situation I willingly got myself into. 700 pounds does NOT happen overnight. Its so nic ethat you care about what your customers apprecaite, but maybe if you had cared a little more about lexis health before it got to where it is, instead of about your customers, then we wouldnt be having this thread. I am not critisizing Lexi for modeling at all, its been great for me, and a fun time. I am just saying, she got herself into this situation, take the respoinsibility, dont say I dont know how it happened, but now I need help to fix it. Take ALL The steps needed to fix it, and not just the free money. Stop having phone sex, and use your phone time to call centers and doctors, to find someone to help her.

And my dear, i am surely not hung over today, nor grumpy or cranky from my drinking last night. I feel fantastic and have been a productive member of society today. I am simply highly opinionated on this subject. Asking for help from other people, before doing all you can to help yourself, is ignorant, in my opinion, and being this is an open forum, I am expressing my opinion.

And I can not state enough about how many people agree with me, but simply want to avoid confrontation, or arguments. Not I,,,,I have balls


----------



## Jane

BigCutieViolet said:


> It seems to be asked that EVERYONE give even a dollar in this here thread, and I know that many people feel like they are being guilted into trying to make them give money, when they strongly feel the same way that I do.



Geez, so guilt is what this is all about....

(Being a mother, I can do this)

Waves magic wand..."I Hereby Absolve You of All Guilt."

Now, quit ragging on Lexi. She hasn't asked you for money, others have. Bitch at them.


----------



## Lexi

BigCutieViolet said:


> It seems to be asked that EVERYONE give even a dollar in this here thread, and I know that many people feel like they are being guilted into trying to make them give money, when they strongly feel the same way that I do. They, and I refuse to enable her to be like this any longer. And buying he rthis bed will only do that. There have been many posts similar to the above one, like on the paysite board telling the men to give money to lexi instead of joining a pay site. Maybe it hasnt been asked for by Lexi, but it sure has been asked for by you.
> 
> If you wanted the ball rolling, as you say , and looking for smart people to help, then try the media, as MANY people have suggested but a few have called the local media in the area and no one with this situation has contacted them, even though she says she is taking and doing all that is suggested.
> 
> If we want to turn this into a model debate, yes I model, But i am not sitting here gaining hundreds of pounds in front of a camera, profiting from it, BLOWING those profits and then turning to others for more money to abilme out of the situation I willingly got myself into. 700 pounds does NOT happen overnight. Its so nic ethat you care about what your customers apprecaite, but maybe if you had cared a little more about lexis health before it got to where it is, instead of about your customers, then we wouldnt be having this thread. I am not critisizing Lexi for modeling at all, its been great for me, and a fun time. I am just saying, she got herself into this situation, take the respoinsibility, dont say I dont know how it happened, but now I need help to fix it. Take ALL The steps needed to fix it, and not just the free money. Stop having phone sex, and use your phone time to call centers and doctors, to find someone to help her.
> 
> And my dear, i am surely not hung over today, nor grumpy or cranky from my drinking last night. I feel fantastic and have been a productive member of society today. I am simply highly opinionated on this subject. Asking for help from other people, before doing all you can to help yourself, is ignorant, in my opinion, and being this is an open forum, I am expressing my opinion.
> 
> And I can not state enough about how many people agree with me, but simply want to avoid confrontation, or arguments. Not I,,,,I have balls



Violet,

First of all when you make a statment you should first check out your facts.
When I started this site back in 1998 I was already 550 lbs and almost imobile.I had not left my house in years. So this site was not my means to getting large.It was my means of trying survive being large. Like many other large people I was continuosly on a diet to try to lose weight.I would yo yo like everyone else.

I do not sit on my pphone having phone sex day in and day out. I can not even remember when the last phone call I had even was. Not this year for sure.If you had looked on my site in the NON members area you could tell I have NOT update my site in months due to my illness and very sporadically since lasst year when I first got ill.The content that was posted in 80 percent of the case was stuff already in my inventory that I had not yet put up. I was imobile due to a catheter and not able to shoot.As any of my site members that might be left could tell you notes were posted months ago in my webboard in my members area apologizing for my lack of posting anything.
I say might be left because of the fact that I have been ill and not sitting on any cameras and not posting.My site is not currently doing anything. My shoulder and arms are in constant pain so processing photos is a painful project with editing ,cropping and copyrighting photos.

You say my gain did not happen overnight.No it did not.It took eight more years to go from 550 to 700.The last jump from 650 to 700 happened withinh a 30 day span with a water gain. That is what brought me to the hospital.
I gained 15 lbs a year from 98 till now and that it what brought m,e here.
I did not ask anyone to donate to me.I just asked for suggestion. Their donations are a pleasant suprise of support and compassion for my situation.I hope you do not need that same compassion one day. If you do I hope you find rthe same lovely type of people I have. No one has to feel guilted into helping me. If my site was generating anything more then breaking even on the costs of hosting it Id of already bought the bed myself.Im not a panhandler.I wanted to keep my site up as long as I could because I do still have so many nice photos for people to see that have not yet gone up.I enjoy talking to all the friends I have made while having my site.

For some reason your sounding bitter to me.I'm not sure why.I am sure you are a very nice person and I am so glad you could be there for your friend.

Best of Luck to you and your friend.

Lexi


----------



## Mercedes

Lexi, do you think that a postal order from a far away country with different currency would work if I posted it directly to 

Alexis Adams
PO Box 195864
Winter Springs 
FL 32719

I never did anything like this before, but if you think my money won't be lost it will be on the way.

And people, please realise that it is frustrating now if you post stuff like she SHOULD have done this or SHOULD have done that.

Unfortunately Lexi is in this situation now, and relies upon us for her help.

I could be getting, for example, diabetes tomorrow - what good would it do me if people start telling me I should have eaten less sugars or whatever? Heck I 'got' it now and I can't change the past and if you want to support me support me now not tell me what I SHOULD HAVE done to avoid the situation!!! 

I'm not an english speaker but I sure know this saying : It's useless crying over split milk...


----------



## ripley

A friend and I were discussing this the other night, and she said that many of us here are one accident away from being in Lexi's position ourselves. If, heaven forbid, I ever end up in such dire straits I hope that no one brings up my past lifestyle to throw it in my face. 

I know nothing about Lexi, her site/s, how/why she gained, if she profited from it, if she doesn't "deserve" to get our financial help, or if her plea to get paysite subscribers to donate to her and forego a month of some other paysite is pissing off other paysite women who want that money for themselves. It seems to me that there should be a sisterhood amongst paysite owners...not this "my paysite is better than yours because I don't do XYZ." Vi...you keep snidely referring to phone sex. My question to you is...what other work do you recommend for her? What else could she do to put food on the table, toilet paper in the bathroom, dish soap in the sink? Is doing something some could consider immoral a reason to suspend compassion? 

I hear a lot of people saying "Why didn't she stop?" I'd like to direct their attention to the sticky thread above, entitled "Fear of gaining." Many of us fear this very thing because IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANY OF US. One accident. One broken bone. If it was so easy to stop being fat, would any of us be as fat as we are? If it was that easy to put on the brakes, would we EVER see anyone over 200 pounds? 

You say you've got balls, Vi...but I just saw you in chat bragging that you got two cans from this, and someone telling you you'd get more...and you keep saying how there are so many people that agree with you. That's fine; this is a message board and people are entitled to their opinions. But please...don't think you're some brave soul championing a moral high ground. You're a pawn that some bored, bitter people have pushed forward to do their ugly work. If you don't think Lexi deserves donations, don't donate. 

Just have a little decency, and don't kick someone while they're down.


----------



## Lexi

Mercedes said:


> Lexi, do you think that a postal order from a far away country with different currency would work if I posted it directly to
> 
> Alexis Adams
> PO Box 195864
> Winter Springs
> FL 32719
> 
> I never did anything like this before, but if you think my money won't be lost it will be on the way.
> 
> And people, please realise that it is frustrating now if you post stuff like she SHOULD have done this or SHOULD have done that.
> 
> Unfortunately Lexi is in this situation now, and relies upon us for her help.
> 
> I could be getting, for example, diabetes tomorrow - what good would it do me if people start telling me I should have eaten less sugars or whatever? Heck I 'got' it now and I can't change the past and if you want to support me support me now not tell me what I SHOULD HAVE done to avoid the situation!!!
> 
> I'm not an english speaker but I sure know this saying : It's useless crying over split milk...



Yes that would work fine. Thank you very much for your generosity and compassion.

Lexi


----------



## ThatFatGirl

ripley said:


> I hear a lot of people saying "Why didn't she stop?" I'd like to direct their attention to the sticky thread above, entitled "Fear of gaining." Many of us fear this very thing because IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANY OF US. One accident. One broken bone. If it was so easy to stop being fat, would any of us be as fat as we are? If it was that easy to put on the brakes, would we EVER see anyone over 200 pounds?
> 
> You say you've got balls, Vi...but I just saw you in chat bragging that you got two cans from this, and someone telling you you'd get more...and you keep saying how there are so many people that agree with you. That's fine; this is a message board and people are entitled to their opinions. But please...don't think you're some brave soul championing a moral high ground. You're a pawn that some bored, bitter people have pushed forward to do their ugly work. If you don't think Lexi deserves donations, don't donate.
> 
> Just have a little decency, and don't kick someone while they're down.



Ripley, you said it perfectly. Thank you.


----------



## activistfatgirl

Jane said:


> Geez, so guilt is what this is all about....
> 
> (Being a mother, I can do this)
> 
> Waves magic wand..."I Hereby Absolve You of All Guilt."
> 
> Now, quit ragging on Lexi. She hasn't asked you for money, others have. Bitch at them.



Jane is right. Violet, please step back. If this upsets you so, leave this area. You're being very judgemental on a situation you ultimately don't understand. 

If I did the same thing to your recent posts I'd say that you have a problem with judging others. That's what I see from the surface. But I do not believe that.

I can not donate right now, but I would if I had extra funds. And to do so is *MY* choice and no others'.


----------



## activistfatgirl

ripley said:


> A friend and I were discussing this the other night, and she said that many of us here are one accident away from being in Lexi's position ourselves. If, heaven forbid, I ever end up in such dire straits I hope that no one brings up my past lifestyle to throw it in my face.



Exactly, Ripley. I'm glad not everyone is about throwing stones like a few of our companions. Let's hope they never end up here.


----------



## BBWMoon

ripley said:


> A friend and I were discussing this the other night, and she said that many of us here are one accident away from being in Lexi's position ourselves. If, heaven forbid, I ever end up in such dire straits I hope that no one brings up my past lifestyle to throw it in my face.
> 
> I know nothing about Lexi, her site/s, how/why she gained, if she profited from it, if she doesn't "deserve" to get our financial help, or if her plea to get paysite subscribers to donate to her and forego a month of some other paysite is pissing off other paysite women who want that money for themselves. It seems to me that there should be a sisterhood amongst paysite owners...not this "my paysite is better than yours because I don't do XYZ." Vi...you keep snidely referring to phone sex. My question to you is...what other work do you recommend for her? What else could she do to put food on the table, toilet paper in the bathroom, dish soap in the sink? Is doing something some could consider immoral a reason to suspend compassion?
> 
> I hear a lot of people saying "Why didn't she stop?" I'd like to direct their attention to the sticky thread above, entitled "Fear of gaining." Many of us fear this very thing because IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANY OF US. One accident. One broken bone. If it was so easy to stop being fat, would any of us be as fat as we are? If it was that easy to put on the brakes, would we EVER see anyone over 200 pounds?
> 
> You say you've got balls, Vi...but I just saw you in chat bragging that you got two cans from this, and someone telling you you'd get more...and you keep saying how there are so many people that agree with you. That's fine; this is a message board and people are entitled to their opinions. But please...don't think you're some brave soul championing a moral high ground. You're a pawn that some bored, bitter people have pushed forward to do their ugly work. If you don't think Lexi deserves donations, don't donate.
> 
> Just have a little decency, and don't kick someone while they're down.




Well Said, Ripley.


----------



## Lexi

ripley said:


> I hear a lot of people saying "Why didn't she stop?" I'd like to direct their attention to the sticky thread above, entitled "Fear of gaining." Many of us fear this very thing because IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANY OF US. One accident. One broken bone. If it was so easy to stop being fat, would any of us be as fat as we are? If it was that easy to put on the brakes, would we EVER see anyone over 200 pounds?
> 
> .



Thats a very good point. Most of us would not choose to be Fat if we had been able to STOP and be thin. We would see very few BBW at all. I remember everytime I reached to the next plateau 200,250,300 and so forth I always said "I'll never let myself get past this". It was easy to say but hard to do.At 25 years of age I was pretty small not a BBW at all.We never know what our life path will bring us. I think the most important thing we can do is keep moving forward in the best way possible. Looking back is not going to get us anywhere and takes away time from our progress.

Thanks for posting.

Lexi


----------



## Emma

Hows the weather up there on your high horse Violet?

Isn't it interesting how not one of these people who support you have not come forward to say what they think?


----------



## activistfatgirl

CurvyEm said:


> Hows the weather up there on your high horse Violet?
> 
> Isn't it interesting how not one of these people who support you have not come forward to say what they think?



Ugh, don't say that CurvyEm. They can just go ahead and rep her again and hopefully not cause more grief.


----------



## Emma

activistfatgirl said:


> Ugh, don't say that CurvyEm. They can just go ahead and rep her again and hopefully not cause more grief.



You're right. We don't want any more grief. I just seem to find it funny that every time someone is 'fighting a battle' on a webboard against everyone else they claim people have repped/pmd them to give their support.


----------



## Missy9579

ripley said:


> A friend and I were discussing this the other night, and she said that many of us here are one accident away from being in Lexi's position ourselves. If, heaven forbid, I ever end up in such dire straits I hope that no one brings up my past lifestyle to throw it in my face.
> 
> I know nothing about Lexi, her site/s, how/why she gained, if she profited from it, if she doesn't "deserve" to get our financial help, or if her plea to get paysite subscribers to donate to her and forego a month of some other paysite is pissing off other paysite women who want that money for themselves. It seems to me that there should be a sisterhood amongst paysite owners...not this "my paysite is better than yours because I don't do XYZ." Vi...you keep snidely referring to phone sex. My question to you is...what other work do you recommend for her? What else could she do to put food on the table, toilet paper in the bathroom, dish soap in the sink? Is doing something some could consider immoral a reason to suspend compassion?
> 
> I hear a lot of people saying "Why didn't she stop?" I'd like to direct their attention to the sticky thread above, entitled "Fear of gaining." Many of us fear this very thing because IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANY OF US. One accident. One broken bone. If it was so easy to stop being fat, would any of us be as fat as we are? If it was that easy to put on the brakes, would we EVER see anyone over 200 pounds?
> 
> You say you've got balls, Vi...but I just saw you in chat bragging that you got two cans from this, and someone telling you you'd get more...and you keep saying how there are so many people that agree with you. That's fine; this is a message board and people are entitled to their opinions. But please...don't think you're some brave soul championing a moral high ground. You're a pawn that some bored, bitter people have pushed forward to do their ugly work. If you don't think Lexi deserves donations, don't donate.
> 
> Just have a little decency, and don't kick someone while they're down.




everyone is entitled to their opinion,. and I understand that you are just expressing yours. But since you called me out on a few things, I will take the time to answer them.

I do not think that I want the money for myself, or am being selfish, or diminishing whatever sisterhood you feel there should be between paysite girls. I have loved doing my site, it has given me the chance to have some extra pocket money,and to make myself debt free, and in case you have not heard, i am also retiring from it in October. I do not need or want to do it any longer. I am not suspending my compasion because of the phone sex, I am simply not freely handing it out because I feel, and its a personal opinion, that there can be a lot more done to find Lexi the help that she needs, aside from buying a new bed. My point was, use the phone to find that, and not have phone sex. There are MANY work at home jobs one can do, if they were so motivated....from taking surveys, to telemarketing, to ebaying, and many more to boot. But, again, I could care less what one does to make some money, and if phone sex was what she wanted to do , then do it. Im not one to judge anyones morals, by far.

And I state that I do have balls, because many people have come to me, AFTER I posted my first post, saying thats exactly what they were wondering, thats exactly what they would have said. If I am the only person to say it, then that is fine, but I surely am not a pawn, in anyones game.

As I said before, I lived with someone who was 550 pounds,,,,and for a year i watched as she got up each and every morning, and walked down the stairs, as we lived on the second floor, drive to her workplace that she had worked at for 17 years, park her car, walk the distance to her office, and work. Then come home and walk back up the stairs. It wasnt always easy, hell,most times it was hard and painful, but she did it. And I was very proud of her I know whats its about to be fat, and need help, but i also know there is a difference between just letting go, and to keep trying to help yourself. If I was already imobile at 550 pounds, then I would make it a POINT to not let that become any higher of a weight. And I would hope my friends and family would help as well.

I understand that what is done, is done. Nothing can change that, but I do feel that by having this bed, and being able to remain in the same exact environment that got her to be this unhealthy, would be doing her NO good. 

I am far from a judgemental person, but if I do feel strongly about something, I will let it be known. I will not step back from a thread because others do not agree with what i am saying. Thats not how an open forum works, nor I. I am not trying to get anyone to agree with me, but to simply state my opinion. And that is, that if there was an environment that made someone SO unhealthy, then they need to remove themselves from it, not enable them to stay in it.


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist

BigCutieViolet said:


> And I can not state enough about how many people agree with me, but simply want to avoid confrontation, or arguments. Not I,,,,I have balls



If you really felt you were right, it wouldn't matter how many people did or didn't disagree with you. Surely you're not falling for the old "If the majority believes it, it must be right." In that case, killing imperfect babies at birth, slavery, abuse of women, and burning people of different religions was okay at different points in history. So let's drop that. 

It doesn't take balls to dissent on a message board, especially if you're getting petted for doing this. 

Yes, in large part, this is self-inflicted, but nonetheless, there's very little a 700 lb. person can do for herself. You don't know what she's tried; you're just making assumptions. 

Until you've suffered from extreme mobility problems from weight, you don't get to pass judgement. You have no idea how humiliating it is to be completely helpless and then be chastised for self-infliction and threatened by "medical professionals." Maybe going through that as someone who suffered on the worst end of anorexia gives me a little more fucking sympathy and the abilility to pull out a dollar or two instead of sitting on my ass passing judgement and giving out nasty, snarky high fives to fellow cowards who can temporarily forget their own low self-esteem by criticizing others.

If you think people with weight problems are so disgusting, don't donate and don't bother. I'm sure we've all heard how disgusting and awful we are already. If people like Lexi and myself offend you so much, ignore us.


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## Missy9579

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> If you really felt you were right, it wouldn't matter how many people did or didn't disagree with you. Surely you're not falling for the old "If the majority believes it, it must be right." In that case, killing imperfect babies at birth, slavery, abuse of women, and burning people of different religions was okay at different points in history. So let's drop that.
> 
> It doesn't take balls to dissent on a message board, especially if you're getting petted for doing this.
> 
> Yes, in large part, this is self-inflicted, but nonetheless, there's very little a 700 lb. person can do for herself. You don't know what she's tried; you're just making assumptions.
> 
> Until you've suffered from extreme mobility problems from weight, you don't get to pass judgement. You have no idea how humiliating it is to be completely helpless and then be chastised for self-infliction and threatened by "medical professionals." Maybe going through that as someone who suffered on the worst end of anorexia gives me a little more fucking sympathy and the abilility to pull out a dollar or two instead of sitting on my ass passing judgement and giving out nasty, snarky high fives to fellow cowards who can temporarily forget their own low self-esteem by criticizing others.
> 
> If you think people with weight problems are so disgusting, don't donate and don't bother. I'm sure we've all heard how disgusting and awful we are already. If people like Lexi and myself offend you so much, ignore us.




I appearantly missed the post that I made saying fat people were disgusting, and you appearantly missed the one saying my best friend that i LIVED with weighed 550 pounds and she is the best person I know, and that I saw FIRST hand what weight can do to a person. Every single person I am friends with is fat, and I have NO problem with it.


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## TheSadeianLinguist

When did I say you found fat people disgusting? You obviously do find people with weight problems like severe obesity disgusting and seem to think they only want to exploit the situation by getting free goodies. And if you think Lexi's awful, you must think I'm pretty awful too. Nursing homes and care centers do not always accomodate. They often HURT people from a lack of knowledge. (My stomach nearly ruptured after an internal blockage from being overfed and not given enough liquids.) I can understand someone NOT wanting to be forced into medical care, because medical care often does not understand eating and weight disorders and often will damned near kill you with their "treatments." Come back and pass shitty judgement when you actually know what you're talking about instead of just saying, "Well, my fat friend had surgery, so you should be able to also! You're just not trying!" You don't have a clue what it's like to live with this sort of thing and you're not interested in learning.


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## BBWMoon

Lexi,

I don't know you. I've never visited your site. I really don't know FEast either, though I've heard lovely things about her, and have read her beautiful posts for several years now.

I do know you're going through a great hardship right now, and your friend (Not You) posted here for Advice. Some of us asked for a way to donate, and you've accommodated us to do so.

I look back this past year and know that we have lost a few people here at Dimensions. I don't know the exact reasons for their deaths, but I am aware that they died. Some can look at the huge amount of visitors that come here, and think... so what, I didn't know them... or who cares, no one can tell they're gone.

Well, I can...

Enough negativity. Enough. We deal with the everyday fat-phobic bastards.

Being Fat isn't a trip to CandyLand. We're all real... Reality does hurt.

What I've learned these past few years is to be gracious. To act positively and be assertive for my own health, and to calm down and live.

Stevie Smith wrote a poem called "Not Waving, But Drowning".

There are some people so far out in their own pain that we don't realize that they're drowning. As far as I'm concerned, I'm here. If there's anything I can do, I will... If not, I'm here to be an ear... a smile... & hopefully a good friend.

Even if it is just kind words. When I had my injury... there were a lot of Dimensions People who were there for me. I'll never forget that.


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## mossystate

This post is not about taking the focus off Lexi.I was not able to work for quite a period of time(or was working sporadically) because of anxiety.I did not have the full blown panic attacks that I know many people suffer, but due to my not having the amount of self-confidence I would have liked, I saw some very dark days.There were people who could not believe that I couldn't...'just'..do this...that..etc..etc..etc.I will always be thankful to those who helped me with a variety of things..from helping me with money..or inviting me out for some wonderful times that I might not be able to afford(because..gee...they liked my company, and did not see me first, or at all, as some charity case).

The people who 'gave' to me did so with no strings attached.I was not forever approaching my friends and family.They helped because they loved me.The helped because they saw...ME...and they knew that helping me would give me hope.This is not to say some did not have advice for me , but most kept even that, positive.I do understand people becoming frustrated with those they think could do more for themselves..or get help doing more for themselves, but I do not see Lexi whining.I see Lexi being so goddamn kind to ALL who are responding to this thread!

Nobody is being guilted into giving money.What a crime to want to be comfortable and be able to sleep ok..breathe ok..so you can better take on the problems that are before you.Once that 'dollar' leaves a persons hand, to be received by another, of course the hope is it is used to make a real difference,but if you give a gift with expectations attached,better you just close your wallet..that money is shit.

One paycheck away..one broken bone away..one episode of violence..one huge personal loss of a loved one...one paralyzing smack of anxiety....any human being can be hit with something to stop their world as they know it.The ones who dig themselves out should be seen as inspiration, but only if their attitude is not pure..'pick yourself up by your bootstraps'

I also agree with TGF, the men who admire Lexi for her size, need to step UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Theatrmuse/Kara

Once again, I am reminded why I chose the quote I use in all my posting and emails. To me, it explains all.:doh: 

Hang in there, Lexi! There is brotherly/sisterly love and many here will step up to the bat!
Hugs, Kara:kiss2:


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## Jane

BigCutieViolet said:


> And I state that I do have balls,


I have huevos. Unless they're hanging out in the breeze, they ain't balls.

You have absolutely made me nauseous with this bullshit you're pouring out.

"There but for the Grace..." You being under 400 lbs and ragging on someone who is larger is NO FUCKING DIFFERENT than the 115 pound girls who look at my 270 pound body and are disgusted.


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## steely

BigCutieViolet said:


> And I state that I do have balls, because many people have come to me, AFTER I posted my first post, saying thats exactly what they were wondering, thats exactly what they would have said.



Instant karma's gonna get you
gonna knock you right on your head
You better get yourself together

Heaven forbid you ever need help,cause what you put out there comes back to you.It also comes back to the people cheering you on.


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## moonvine

CurvyEm said:


> You're right. We don't want any more grief. I just seem to find it funny that every time someone is 'fighting a battle' on a webboard against everyone else they claim people have repped/pmd them to give their support.




That's because



> THE LURKERS SUPPORT ME IN E-MAIL
> 
> (by Jo Walton)
> 
> The Lurkers support me in email
> They all think I'm great don't you know.
> You posters just don't understand me
> But soon you will reap what you sow.
> 
> Lurkers, lurkers, lurkers support me, you'll see, you'll see
> off in e-mail the lurkers support me, you'll see.
> 
> The lurkers support me in email
> "So why don't they post?" you all cry
> They're scared of your hostile intentions
> they just can't be as brave as I.
> 
> Lurkers, lurkers, lurkers support me, you'll see, you'll see
> off in e-mail the lurkers support me, you'll see.
> 
> One day I'll round up all my lurkers
> we'll have a newsgroup of our own
> without all this flak from you morons
> my lurkers will post round my throne.
> 
> Lurkers, lurkers, lurkers support me, you'll see, you'll see
> off in e-mail the lurkers support me, you'll see.


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## Missy9579

*sigh* you can all think I am a terrible, heartless person, and that is fine. I do not really care what a bunch of strangers think of me. I am not ragging on Lexi because of her weight, but because of what she is NOT doing to help herself. I would have the same words for someone in a similar situation who weighed 115 pounds.

I am not a fat hater, as every single one of my friends are fat. I like fat, and I liek people who help themselves. I am far from perfect, and I will be the first to admitt that. I have needed help in my life, and it has been given to me, but surely not handed to me on a silver platter..I had to work to get the help that I needed. And do what i could for myself before someone else would do for me.

I only posted all of this to be sure every option was being explored, and as I said before and still believe, that she needs to be outside of her home for help. Her home is where she has been and what has allowed her to become this unhealthy, and unless rmeoved from the situation which helped get her here the changes wont come, or they will be short lived.

I believe no one should live a shitty life and if there is a way to improve hers, then yes she should do it. But I think that if the media was involved, which many have suggested, more people thanj ust on our board would step forward, knowledgeable people, more than us, people with far greater resources than we have. If everyones suggestion was followed then I am all for it.

I dont hate fat, and it seems many people think from my posts that I do. I am just a regular girl, who reads the boards because I find them helpful and informative, I post occasionally, and maybe often on certain threads that I have passion for. This is one of them.


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## TheSadeianLinguist

I don't think you're terrible or heartless. I think you're incredibly ignorant and afraid, and that often comes across as mean-spirited. I'll say it again, because obviously you didn't get it the first two times: We get that you're okay with SOME fat. And BTW, that argument of, "Oh, I've had really fat women/blacks/gays as friends," is the oldest bigot's defense in the book. 

You don't know what she has or hasn't done, and Lexi does not owe it to you to make you a laundry list of all the shit she's been through just to appease you. 

Oh, and if you weren't concerned about the opinions of strangers, you wouldn't be bragging about how many people support you. People who truly believe what they're espousing don't care what others think.

She and others have tried to contact the media. Nothing happened. Just bleating, "You're not a'doin all you CAN. You got to contact the MEDIA," is ridiculous. It's not working. However, this bed would enable her to get up more easily. Getting up and moving is the first step in her getting to regain some mobility. Dumping her in a local care center so some slack-jawed doofus can bring her broiled chicken and salad and scrub her down with a rag on a stick does nothing for a problem that needs to get resolved IMMEDIATELY. She needs to start rebuilding her muscle mass, and in understaffed, underfunded standard care centers, they don't have the time, equipment, or ability to take care of this. She can't just throw herself in any home; this is something that has to be researched. And as it turns out, if you read, the places with this stuff, like Andover, are packed to the gills. She needs immediate help, hence the efforts others are putting forth to get the bed. Do you get it yet?


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## SpiceSquirrel

Paul (http://bigpaulak.livejournal.com), the man who was featured on Dr. Phil, regained the weight he lost on the diet Dr. Phil had him on. He now weighs about 800 pounds. Paul just filled out the paperwork for Brookhaven Rehabilitation & Health Care Center(www.brookhavenrehab.com/bariatric.html). If someone on the Dimensions knows him, maybe they could contact him on Lexi's behalf and get information about Brookhaven and contacting Dr. Phil.


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## Miss Vickie

Don't you guys think you're beating up on Vi just a little too much? I mean I think she expressed her views articulately and without malice, but some of the attacks on her have become very personal in nature. She expressed her concern that Lexi hasn't done enough to help herself; I think that since she's being asked to donate money it's within her rights to ask what Lexi has done, in order for her to feel okay to give money to this cause.

I appreciate Lexi's responses because they've been very even handed. I think it's hard to have to defend yourself in a public arena such as this, especially when it comes to something so personal as one's health and medical care. But since it was brought into the open (presumably with Lexi's permission) I think it's okay for her to answer respectfully asked questions, such as Vi asked.

Vi stated her feelings, she got jumped on, and now she's having to defend herself which is, sadly, derailing a thread which should be about Lexi. I don't think Vi is ignorant -- she lived with a 550 pound person, after all. However, I think it's true that for those of us who haven't lived Lexi's life, we're ALL ignorant. I had a teensy tiny taste of it and it was enough to send me to a surgeon's office. I can't imagine living as Lexi lives. But I'm not sure a bed is the answer, either. :/ It's just so hard to know.

Anyhow, I think any more piling on on Vi is unfair and does nothing to help Lexi. I realize that my view may be unpopular but so be it. Just please, if you need to slam me, do it privately and try to get this thread back to what it should be about: Lexi's plight and how to help her.

Thanks.


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## swordchick

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> I don't think you're terrible or heartless. I think you're incredibly ignorant and afraid, and that often comes across as mean-spirited. I'll say it again, because obviously you didn't get it the first two times: We get that you're okay with SOME fat. And BTW, that argument of, "Oh, I've had really fat women/blacks/gays as friends," is the oldest bigot's defense in the book.
> 
> You don't know what she has or hasn't done, and Lexi does not owe it to you to make you a laundry list of all the shit she's been through just to appease you.
> 
> Oh, and if you weren't concerned about the opinions of strangers, you wouldn't be bragging about how many people support you. People who truly believe what they're espousing don't care what others think.
> 
> She and others have tried to contact the media. Nothing happened. Just bleating, "You're not a'doin all you CAN. You got to contact the MEDIA," is ridiculous. It's not working. However, this bed would enable her to get up more easily. Getting up and moving is the first step in her getting to regain some mobility. Dumping her in a local care center so some slack-jawed doofus can bring her broiled chicken and salad and scrub her down with a rag on a stick does nothing for a problem that needs to get resolved IMMEDIATELY. She needs to start rebuilding her muscle mass, and in understaffed, underfunded standard care centers, they don't have the time, equipment, or ability to take care of this. She can't just throw herself in any home; this is something that has to be researched. And as it turns out, if you read, the places with this stuff, like Andover, are packed to the gills. She needs immediate help, hence the efforts others are putting forth to get the bed. Do you get it yet?


 
AMEN TO THAT!


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## fatlane

Violet-

For the record, I helped get that ball rolling on the collections. I don't care how Lexi got there. She's there. Time for every one of us to get off our asses and help. Job's friends lectured him on how he must have done something to displease God when that had nothing to do with it. It's better to be overly compassionate than not.

For the record, I actually do have balls. I live in fear of zippers gone wild and stray misplaced kicks. You wouldn't want balls, not for a million dollars. And if you did have them, you'd have one hell of a twist on your paysite.

We're not having a pity party for Lexi. This is a rescue operation of sorts. If we want to shoot her some bucks and not give a care if she buys a bed or heroin, that's our business. We started the fundraiser, not Lexi or Foosh.

Don't brag about the cans, either. I got 120 stashed in my other avatar.

Leave her alone if you don't want to help. It's not time for busybody stuff. As for me, I'm doing the charity thing.


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## TheSadeianLinguist

Miss Vickie said:


> Don't you guys think you're beating up on Vi just a little too much? I mean I think she expressed her views articulately and without malice, but some of the attacks on her have become very personal in nature. She expressed her concern that Lexi hasn't done enough to help herself; I think that since she's being asked to donate money it's within her rights to ask what Lexi has done, in order for her to feel okay to give money to this cause.
> 
> I appreciate Lexi's responses because they've been very even handed. I think it's hard to have to defend yourself in a public arena such as this, especially when it comes to something so personal as one's health and medical care. But since it was brought into the open (presumably with Lexi's permission) I think it's okay for her to answer respectfully asked questions, such as Vi asked.
> 
> Vi stated her feelings, she got jumped on, and now she's having to defend herself which is, sadly, derailing a thread which should be about Lexi. I don't think Vi is ignorant -- she lived with a 550 pound person, after all. However, I think it's true that for those of us who haven't lived Lexi's life, we're ALL ignorant. I had a teensy tiny taste of it and it was enough to send me to a surgeon's office. I can't imagine living as Lexi lives. But I'm not sure a bed is the answer, either. :/ It's just so hard to know.
> 
> Anyhow, I think any more piling on on Vi is unfair and does nothing to help Lexi. I realize that my view may be unpopular but so be it. Just please, if you need to slam me, do it privately and try to get this thread back to what it should be about: Lexi's plight and how to help her.
> 
> Thanks.



Stating your feelings is dandy. However, when someone starts bragging about how tough they are when they're kicking someone when they're down, then I get a little testy. If someone's going to dish it out, I'll happily serve it back to them. 

On Lexi though: More importantly, I'll give ANYONE a chance. No one should have to go this battle alone if they're genuinely interested in changing. We should all make a conscious effort to empathize with people who are suffering and seek an answer. And a bed that would help her with her mobility seems to be a start. 

Some of the "wicked dissenters" are correct. Sam's correct that Lexi seriously needs to examine exactly what led to this. Ella's correct that activity has GOT to be upped, bit by bit. We ALL needs kicks in the ass. What none of us need is trying to convince others to stop from helping.


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## Missy9579

I never bragged that I was tough, what i did say was that I was not affraid to say what many people wanted to say, I was not affraid to ask what many wanted to know. I was not affraid to open a can of worms, that no one else wanted to open. Which was questioning what was being done, and not just taking what was being told to me.

I understand she needs help. I was just saying that i am not sure that this bed is the answer to everything. I think there are many other ways to spend money that people want to send, Hire a private physician, one who will sign what she needs signed to get the helpand equipment she needs, hire a nutritionist, to give you a healthy eating plan,,,just, other ways as well. A bed wont help, if nothing else changes. As I have said, being in her home, is how she got this way, and I dont know that staying in her home, in a more comfy bed, is going to help her get out of it.

Think what you want of me, but just know, I am only being honest. I am not ignorant, I am not jaded or heartless. I can not stress enough that I , probably more than ANY of you know what stuff an extremely obesse person goes through everyday, having lived with my old roommate. I saw it first hand everyday. And I did everything i could for her, but I never once enabled her to give up, or do nothing for herself.

I think this will be my last post, unless something very worth of a response comes out. Thank you for those who have listened to what I have to say, and hopefully the answers Lexi needs, are found


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## Theatrmuse/Kara

"What none of us need is trying to convince others to stop from helping."

Let the choir say AMEN!!!!


----------



## missaf

I don't think it's a matter of not helping, but a matter of how to help.


----------



## Tina

BigCutieViolet said:


> I understand she needs help. I was just saying that i am not sure that this bed is the answer to everything. I think there are many other ways to spend money that people want to send, Hire a private physician, one who will sign what she needs signed to get the helpand equipment she needs, hire a nutritionist, to give you a healthy eating plan,,,just, other ways as well. A bed wont help, if nothing else changes.



I have to say, I think this is an excellent suggestion. After all, if Lexi can get a _real_ doctor, that doctor would be able to get her the bed -- and much more -- to help her improve her quality of life. And maybe such help and support will assist her to make the changes she has talked about making.


----------



## out.of.habit

BigCutieViolet said:


> I can not stress enough that I , probably more than ANY of you know what stuff an extremely obesse person goes through everyday, having lived with my old roommate. I saw it first hand everyday. And I did everything i could for her, but I never once enabled her to give up, or do nothing for herself.



It is frustrating to be told what we do and do not know about any given subject. Just as you repeatedly report that you know more about what it is like to be fat through vicarious experiences than any number of diverse weights and sizes equally represented here, it would be useful to you and others to openly recognize that you too are not all-knowing and all-understanding. This is not meant to be hurtful; you simply don't know everything. Me neither.
Perhaps Lexi is different from your old roommate, who was extremely obese, whom of which you never enabled to give up, whom of which you saw firsthand, every day. Perhaps the help she needs is different than that your vast knowledge can lend to. I think that we all appreciate your help in brainstorming the varied options that may not yet have occurred to anyone, as you certainly offered a less popular point of view. Perhaps the problem lies in the communication of your ideas, and the phrasing of your many paragraphs. While I understand that you do not care how you come across to strangers, I wonder if you would care if you realized how deaf people become when offended. Even if you don't intend to cause any anger or upset, it has been occurring, and it does matter. Please try not to justify this because "the truth is hard to hear." People have been getting on your case, and that must be frustrating for you, understandably. I bet it seems like no one's getting the point. There's a reason for that. In turn, you're probably not inclined to 'hear' much of what you've been readining in response. We rally around Lexi out of love, care, and a want to protect her from the harm we feel like we can prevent- the harm that less thought-out words can cause, the harm that more-opinionated and 'tough love' folks can put forth. We are doing what we have under our control to help her get through this. From a message board, this includes support, information, advice, and even donations. You're trying too! It's the blame that is getting in the way. The difference is when you type there's blame that can't be hidden, that can't be erased. This is the part that people are having the most trouble with, I think. It's not that your ideas are awful, its just the message that Lexi isn't doing what you perceive to be enough, and what you wrote came across as condemning.
To me, anyway.

Ah, this has gotten too verbose, and it is too late to be sure that I'm being articulate. I apologize, but I'm going to post anyway, this is too important to wait for another day.
*
Lexi, you are incredibly gracious, patient and centered, regardless of what is said or suggested. I am so awed by this quality; you make me want to try harder to be that way. I have so much hope and faith for the outcome of this situation. 
Here's some unconditional, old-fashioned, 100% pure support.*


----------



## Lexi

BigCutieViolet said:


> I never bragged that I was tough, what i did say was that I was not affraid to say what many people wanted to say, I was not affraid to ask what many wanted to know. I was not affraid to open a can of worms, that no one else wanted to open. Which was questioning what was being done, and not just taking what was being told to me.
> 
> I understand she needs help. I was just saying that i am not sure that this bed is the answer to everything. I think there are many other ways to spend money that people want to send, Hire a private physician, one who will sign what she needs signed to get the helpand equipment she needs, hire a nutritionist, to give you a healthy eating plan,,,just, other ways as well. A bed wont help, if nothing else changes. As I have said, being in her home, is how she got this way, and I dont know that staying in her home, in a more comfy bed, is going to help her get out of it.
> 
> Think what you want of me, but just know, I am only being honest. I am not ignorant, I am not jaded or heartless. I can not stress enough that I , probably more than ANY of you know what stuff an extremely obesse person goes through everyday, having lived with my old roommate. I saw it first hand everyday. And I did everything i could for her, but I never once enabled her to give up, or do nothing for herself.
> 
> I think this will be my last post, unless something very worth of a response comes out. Thank you for those who have listened to what I have to say, and hopefully the answers Lexi needs, are found




I want to answer your questions because maybe it will settle a possible misunderstanding.

1. I do not need to hire a nutristionist as Medicaid has paid for one. They were out at my house and recommended a liquid protein diet and agreed Medifast was an excellent choice.

2. I have had Physical therapy. Not paid for by Medicaid but donated by the hospital due to the fact that they injured my arm and foot while I was there.They in turn also gave me ETPS and Band therapy which was later dropped due to the fact that it was futher injuring my arm and shoulder.
Physical therapy DiD agree that I needed to find a bed and before I decided that it would be good for me I ran it by the Physical therapist who is not actually on my case anymore. She said that indeed it would be excellent choice for me and if I did have a bed and was able to start amulating a bit more then Occupational therapy could also come in and begin working with me.Occupational therapist and Physical therapists each work on seperate areas of the body.

The occupational therapist was on my case when I first came home from the hospital and was the one that installed the rope in my ceiling beams to help me get up with. That is what is seriously damaging my shoulder each time they have to help me stand up.I hold onto the rope with my left arm and my husband pulls me up with his hand ho;ding mine. My feel are blocked from sliding out by his foot on my right and by someone else on my left.

With this new bed I would not be standing up from a low point and I could stand with just someone blocking my foot from sliding out. That will give my shoulder time to heal a bit and then go back to doing my therapy.I already purchase the ETPS machine they trained me how to use so I can do it myself.

3. As far as getting a Private doctor. GREAT idea however,I am not mobile. I do not fit in any vehicles at present time. I have no way to get to anyones office.I can not even put my legs down on the ground for more then 20 minutes at a time or they swell beyond a point that I can stand up at all.I sit 24/7 on a bed with my legs in the position of a split.I cannot sit down in a bed and pull myself in.I have to face the bed and roll in and then back into a sitting position.Icannot walk more then 25 feet at one time if that.I do not fit on a hospital bed or stretcher.When I was in the hospital room they actually had mme on my own bed from home as the barriatric bed they had that would supposedly accomodate to 850 lbs did not ACCOMODATE me.They could not even find a way for me to use the bathroom in the hospital room. My husband actually went out and bought a REAL toilet at home depot broughtt the special seat that attaches to it from home and he was given permission to work with the hospital engineer to install it out in the open inside my room. It took three days of my being there before they let him do that. They could not accomodate my using a bathroom for 3 days.My point is how would I go out to a dr. There would be no way to use a bathroom even if they figured out how to get me there.

Of course then we would have the problem of how we would get me into the Drs building and office.Most doctors offices do not have ACComodations for HUGE stretchers. They also dont have twelve hefty guys to carry it in and out for them.That is why I say finding a doctor over a bed would not be a wise choice.

If I fire my doctor I will also lose my home health nurses and Physical therapist. They all come from the same place. They only come out in an emergency but its better then nothing. Unfortunately they cant do much without the doctors cooperation. That is why this doctor is even still listed as my doctor.If I could get out of my house I would h ave had a doctor a long time ago.My RN's from the home health , My friends, My family,My neighbors, The hospital Chaplain, all have dilligently searched to find a doctor to come to me. They do not exist. 

Therefore, even the Medical Professionals(physical therapists and Occupational) feel that a bed is my most important link towards gaining mobility. Since I am currently on a diet even if it is not supervised. They can all tell I am losing weight by the way My skin is feeling.If I manage to buy this bed and my mobility increase I will lose even faster from being able to move around.

I understand you had a 550 lb friend that you saw do all these things and is going to have surgery. That is not me that is her. I am a different height, a higher weight,I am on oxygen. I may or may not be older,I am happy for her that she can climb stairs still. For me I could climb stairs once I got over 475.
Different people, different shapes, different phases of mobility. Again, I am very happy she had you.I am sure you have and continue to make her quality oof life better.

I do not mind answering any questions about my situation.I hope this can also be used to help others that may be in my situation.

Lexi


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## Tina

Are there any doctors for hire (other than the horrid one you already have) who will come to your house for an extra fee? If there are, the money would be well spent there. I find that nurses are the best people to talk to about doctors, if you know any personally. They have all the dish and all the dirt, and they know what is up. You might find a doctor who would come to your home that way, if you can offer extra dough. for the home visit.


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## Lexi

out.of.habit said:


> It is frustrating to be told what we do and do not know about any given subject. Just as you repeatedly report that you know more about what it is like to be fat through vicarious experiences than any number of diverse weights and sizes equally represented here, it would be useful to you and others to openly recognize that you too are not all-knowing and all-understanding. This is not meant to be hurtful; you simply don't know everything. Me neither.
> Perhaps Lexi is different from your old roommate, who was extremely obese, whom of which you never enabled to give up, whom of which you saw firsthand, every day. Perhaps the help she needs is different than that your vast knowledge can lend to. I think that we all appreciate your help in brainstorming the varied options that may not yet have occurred to anyone, as you certainly offered a less popular point of view. Perhaps the problem lies in the communication of your ideas, and the phrasing of your many paragraphs. While I understand that you do not care how you come across to strangers, I wonder if you would care if you realized how deaf people become when offended. Even if you don't intend to cause any anger or upset, it has been occurring, and it does matter. Please try not to justify this because "the truth is hard to hear." People have been getting on your case, and that must be frustrating for you, understandably. I bet it seems like no one's getting the point. There's a reason for that. In turn, you're probably not inclined to 'hear' much of what you've been readining in response. We rally around Lexi out of love, care, and a want to protect her from the harm we feel like we can prevent- the harm that less thought-out words can cause, the harm that more-opinionated and 'tough love' folks can put forth. We are doing what we have under our control to help her get through this. From a message board, this includes support, information, advice, and even donations. You're trying too! It's the blame that is getting in the way. The difference is when you type there's blame that can't be hidden, that can't be erased. This is the part that people are having the most trouble with, I think. It's not that your ideas are awful, its just the message that Lexi isn't doing what you perceive to be enough, and what you wrote came across as condemning.
> To me, anyway.
> 
> Ah, this has gotten too verbose, and it is too late to be sure that I'm being articulate. I apologize, but I'm going to post anyway, this is too important to wait for another day.
> *
> Lexi, you are incredibly gracious, patient and centered, regardless of what is said or suggested. I am so awed by this quality; you make me want to try harder to be that way. I have so much hope and faith for the outcome of this situation.
> Here's some unconditional, old-fashioned, 100% pure support.*




Thank you so much for that Pure Support. I can sure use it.
I learned a long time ago that mistakes are a part of being human. I have learned to appreciate my mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Yes I am in a very tough spot right now.Probably the hardest and most humiliating of my life. Still I do see a light at the end.I can visualize myself smaller. I can see myself walking around,driving and interacting in society.If I can keep that vision I believe I can claim it and make it happen.And most important learn from mistake of getting so large that it rendered me useless to myself.

I was just sitting in bed thinking. The last time I was out driving around on my own there were still full service gas stations around. I have NO clue how to pump gas. Thats a good sign.I must subconciouslly know I am going to make it out of here. 

Lexi


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## Lexi

Tina said:


> Are there any doctors for hire (other than the horrid one you already have) who will come to your house for an extra fee? If there are, the money would be well spent there. I find that nurses are the best people to talk to about doctors, if you know any personally. They have all the dish and all the dirt, and they know what is up. You might find a doctor who would come to your home that way, if you can offer extra dough. for the home visit.



Hi Tina,

I have asked around to nurses,neighbors,friends,chropractors,nutristionists and more. My husband asks everywhere he goes. We never give up. I agree with you If I could find a dr to do that it would be wonderful.


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## jeannieo

It's really sad that this thread has turned into what it has. I feel sad that Lexi has to justify herself and I think she has been extremely polite and forthcoming with her answers. 

No matter how much any of us has sympathy for (or lack thereof) for her plight - we just don't understand. You can know all the people in the world who are severely obese. But until you've been there yourself - you can't possibly understand. My highest weight was 660 - and I'm the one who had surgery at Mass General. And even at that weight - I don't understand what Lexi is going through. I was still relatively mobile. I could still drive. (Thank God I was made tall to carry that extra weight)

I had so many people questioning me. Why don't I just diet. Why don't I just exercise. But nobody knew WHY I was so obese and VERY RAPIDLY gaining. I did have a medical problem attributing to my weight. And it took a lot of seeing some pretty ingnorant doctors to finally get some help. So to assume that she's not doing enough - doesn't seem fair. We're not with her 24/7. We don't live in her body. 

What it comes down to - give it you want - if you don't want to, then don't. Easy as that. Just let it go. Life is way too short to be arguing.


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## fatlane

:: Staggers in like Dr. House ::

What this woman needs is help, not a lecture. It wasn't just food that got her this way. Look at this.

:: Holds up some kind of medical frammistan that will explain everything during the last five minutes of the show, but not until a lot more people have been verbally abused by the brusque Dr. House ::


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## Jane

Brilliant Curmudgeon Admirier....


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## Angel

I wonder how many people have read through this entire thread and just shook their head. I always thought that skinny people who disliked fat could be cruel......


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## out.of.habit

Lexi said:


> I was just sitting in bed thinking. The last time I was out driving around on my own there were still full service gas stations around. I have NO clue how to pump gas. Thats a good sign.I must subconciouslly know I am going to make it out of here.
> 
> Lexi



You're right, you are going to make it out of there. You really are. *hug*


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## Aliena

SpiceSquirrel said:


> Paul (http://bigpaulak.livejournal.com), the man who was featured on Dr. Phil, regained the weight he lost on the diet Dr. Phil had him on. He now weighs about 800 pounds. Paul just filled out the paperwork for Brookhaven Rehabilitation & Health Care Center(www.brookhavenrehab.com/bariatric.html). If someone on the Dimensions knows him, maybe they could contact him on Lexi's behalf and get information about Brookhaven and contacting Dr. Phil.


 

Well in the middle of all this muck, I'm just wondering if anyone, who is on Lexi's team of helpers, has noticed SpiceSquirrle's post? 
I'd hate to see this excellent post get passed over, afterall it could be a positive option. 



Lexi honey, you hang in there. While I understand the points being made on all sides, it doesn't negate my ability to relate to your plight on every level. (I too am a supersized person, with severe mobility problems, one-breath-away from your situation if I'm not careful) 
I can feel your tears through these web-pages, all the frustrations you must be feeling toward the medical community, their treatments or lack there of. Please know there are people out there who care about your future. By the way, I find it absolutely uplifting that you are keeping your wits about you. You have been polite, kind, and positive to everyone in what is surely a difficult, life threatening situation and I want to thank you. 




We fat people must stick together, (regardless of different dogmas) because it is ultimately us against them. (bigots that is--race, income, religion, sexuality, and of course, FAT) 

Hugs Miss Lexi--


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## Lexi

Aliena said:


> Well in the middle of all this muck, I'm just wondering if anyone, who is on Lexi's team of helpers, has noticed SpiceSquirrle's post?
> I'd hate to see this excellent post get passed over, afterall it could be a positive option.
> 
> 
> 
> Lexi honey, you hang in there. While I understand the points being made on all sides, it doesn't negate my ability to relate to your plight on every level. (I too am a supersized person, with severe mobility problems, one-breath-away from your situation if I'm not careful)
> I can feel your tears through these web-pages, all the frustrations you must be feeling toward the medical community, their treatments or lack there of. Please know there are people out there who care about your future. By the way, I find it absolutely uplifting that you are keeping your wits about you. You have been polite, kind, and positive to everyone in what is surely a difficult, life threatening situation and I want to thank you.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> We fat people must stick together, (regardless of different dogmas) because it is ultimately us against them. (bigots that is--race, income, religion, sexuality, and of course, FAT)
> 
> Hugs Miss Lexi--




Hi thanks for writing. Yes I did see her comment.I may have missed answering her.I did contact Brookhaven a few times.I just did again yesterday.I am still waiting on their reply.It would still be amajor feat to get me to a place so far. Not impossible but extremely comnplicated and expensive.

Im hoping that they might at least have resource info that might help. Every little bit helps

Hugs to you too


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## Russell Williams

I am a volunteer with the local cold weather shelter. When someone comes in at night,homeless, cold, hungry, and sometimes drunk and sometimes crazy, the shelter volunteers are not in the habit of asking them a lot of questions about how they arrived at this situation in life. Their immediate need is food, warmth, and a place to sleep and that is provided.

In the past I was an volunteer paramedic with a local ambulance service. Again, when someone was in a dangerous situation we where not in the habit of asking them questions about things they may have done or not done months and years ago before deciding if they were worthy of our help. I would render first aid treatment and transprotation based on medical need without attempting to determine from their past activities if they were worthy of my assistance.

When someone is in a dangerous situation spending time speculating about how they arrived in that situation tends to be wasted time. The problem is to get them into a less dangerious situation not to tell them all the different life choices they might have made along the way.

Russell


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## Angel

As always, Russell, excellent post.


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## Missy9579

Russell Williams said:


> I am a volunteer with the local cold weather shelter. When someone comes in at night,homeless, cold, hungry, and sometimes drunk and sometimes crazy, the shelter volunteers are not in the habit of asking them a lot of questions about how they arrived at this situation in life. Their immediate need is food, warmth, and a place to sleep and that is provided.
> 
> In the past I was an volunteer paramedic with a local ambulance service. Again, when someone was in a dangerous situation we where not in the habit of asking them questions about things they may have done or not done months and years ago before deciding if they were worthy of our help. I would render first aid treatment and transprotation based on medical need without attempting to determine from their past activities if they were worthy of my assistance.
> 
> When someone is in a dangerous situation spending time speculating about how they arrived in that situation tends to be wasted time. The problem is to get them into a less dangerious situation not to tell them all the different life choices they might have made along the way.
> 
> Russell




So you feed them for a night, and then the next day they go right back out, into the same world that sent them to you, needing the help. What does that solve long term? How many times do you have to see the same people in the same situation, before you realize you are only putting a bandaid on a gaping wound? And that unless something changes with their WHOLE situation, they will continue to self destruct.

I see your point, but, I am not about putting a bandaid on a situation. Fix it right the first time, and maybe you wouldnt see the people in the same situatin, tomorrow, or the next day.


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## Wagimawr

Help first, advise second.

When someone's in danger, it's NOT okay to immediately jump on them for how they got into that mess.

I see your point too, but just because you help them first and THEN help them to understand why it happened doesn't mean you aren't "fixing it right".


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## formerking

BigCutieViolet said:


> I see your point, but, I am not about putting a bandaid on a situation. Fix it right the first time, and maybe you wouldnt see the people in the same situatin, tomorrow, or the next day.


 
For many problems there is no permanent fix and alleviation is the best one can and should do in a civilized world. 

Mankind faces so many problems that, for the sake of logic, it wouldn't matter, if a collision with an asteroid would put an end to it all. Mankind would have existed unnoticed and would have died unnoticed leaving no memory behind. But everyone clings to that live.


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## Angel

BigCutieViolet said:


> So you feed them for a night, and then the next day they go right back out, into the same world that sent them to you, needing the help. What does that solve long term? How many times do you have to see the same people in the same situation, before you realize you are only putting a bandaid on a gaping wound? And that unless something changes with their WHOLE situation, they will continue to self destruct.
> 
> I see your point, but, I am not about putting a bandaid on a situation. Fix it right the first time, and maybe you wouldnt see the people in the same situatin, tomorrow, or the next day.



You know what, Violet? Not everyone's life changes overnight. Not everyone has a friend who can offer them a better place to live or a better place to accomodate them and their *needs*. For some, there is only one world, and that is the world that they are presently living in. Sometimes you have to look at the present and not at long term. Ever hear of _one day at a time_? Unless *YOU* have all the answers, why not try showing a little compassion instead of constantly judging and asking questions that are none of your business? How would you like it if you found yourself in a life threatening desperate condition, and instead of being shown care and compassion, you were barraged with one judgemental question after another? _How did YOU get so fat? Why did you let YOUR life get so messed up? Why didn't YOU do anything to help yourself five years ago before YOU became this fat? Why should anyone help you in a monetary way when YOU have a paysite? _ Your comments and questions *ARE* judgemental no matter how pretty you think you are painting them! 

This thread is *NOT* about you, Violet! It is about Lexi and about finding help for Lexi. If you want a thread about yourself, go start it someplace else! If you want your friends to pat you on the back, do something constructive instead of ripping someone apart when they are facing a life threatening situation! Yes, a life threatening situation! Don't you get it??? When someone is in a life threatening situation, you treat them immediately. You don't ask stupid questions. You don't think long term. You think about saving their life NOW and doing whatever is necessary to help them to live and survive TODAY!

You keep comparing Lexi's situation to that of your former roommate's who was at that time mobile and active and able to work and drive. If you have taken the time to read Lexi's responses you would know that she is not in the same physical shape that your friend was in. Being 550 pounds and mobile is not comparable to being 750 and basically homebound, bedbound, and immobile do to *health* problems. You may have lived with a super size woman, but you obviously have no idea of the issues that someone in Lexi's situation has to deal with on a daily or hourly basis.

You keep inferring that Lexi isn't doing enough. What have *YOU* done since this thread began? Have you done anything besides question, pass judgement, complain, brag, or pat yourself on the back? Have you tried to help at all? Have you did any research? Have you shown even an ounce of compassion towards Lexi? Have you even said a prayer for her?

Maybe one day you will realize that offering help and showing someone a little compassion can go a long way. Maybe one day you will realize that life isn't so simple. Maybe one day you will realize that giving someone just a little attention will give them hope and a reason to try to begin to pull themself together. Maybe one day you will realize that not everyone is as perfect as you think yourself to be. Maybe one day you will realize that lifestyle changes take time and that they do not happen overnight. Maybe one day you'll realize that what you see as a temporary bandaid may indeed be the catalyst that forever positively changes a person's life.


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## Carol W.

Amen, Angel and Russell. And Violet, if, in future, YOU are ever in need, may you receive more compassion and understanding than you have shown in this thread. Shit happens-life happens-and we can only hope that we will be helped as and when we need it by our fellow human beings, as we go about trying to help ourselves.....


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## Missy9579

I never said this thread was about me. At all. Nor have I ever wanted it to be. 

As far as what have I done, I have made suggestions. I have made points. Why not take the money and hire a private physician...one NOT associated with medicare. Money talks, and I am almost positive if all the doctors in the area were called and told a private pay patient needed a doctor to do a house call, that there would be at least one who would do it. And then that doctor could do and sign whatever Lexi needed to get her health better. To get her the equipment and services that she needs. They said they have been looking, but many doctors who accept medicare are underpaid for the services they provide in the office, and surely would not want to go to someones house. Write to Dr.Phil, write to Oprah, write to anyone that may be able to help. My suggestion of maybe going into a nursing home for a few months. They will accomodate you. If the bed doesnt work for you, tell them you want a gel mattress, or the ones that are electric and move the pressure around so that there are no pressure points. There are things out there that can be done.

And maybe I am playing devils advocate. But there are always 2 sides to a situation. The side peopole want to hear and see, and then the side they do not. And if I am showing that side, then I am sorry. But I think eyes need to be opened. Yes i agree Lexi needs help, I have never said she should not get help. I have simply questioned the ideas and sort of help she has sought out. And I do not think there is anything wrong with that. I have said that no one should live a life of misery. Or be in pain. But I think that there should also be many more ideas and options than just getting a new bed.

I am not stopping anyone from helping Lexi. Do whatever you want to, NOr am I saying she should not have help. And I am also not jumping all over people in a mean and nasty way for expressing their opinion. Its theirs and they are certaintly entitled to express it.


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## fatlane

In the Book of Job, Bildad proposes the traditional Jewish view, which corresponds to the Islamic Mu'tazili view, that God rewards the righteous and punishes the wicked. Job believed the wicked and righteous are both punished together. Elihu rebukes both those views: there is suffering in the world, but redemption is also possible. Through our sufferings, we find value in our lives.

At the end of the Book of Job, Job repents of his dim view of things, his friends repent of their accusations, and Job forgives his friends. Job is then restored. 

There is a good lesson in this for us all. In spite of sufferings, God is compassionate. If we, therefore, wish to be more Godlike, we should become more compassionate in our lives.

Speaking of compassion, how's things at your end, Lexi? Wouldn't want to ignore you in all this moral debating.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Im going to make a non-lexi post for a sec if it is ok. *Lexi honey, I wish you all the best and I know you will be fine and it will all work out for you*

Now as far as being homeless....I can tell you people you can end up in shit situations without it being their fault. 4 months ago I was homeless and it was not even 1% my fault. I was room mates with my sister and 2 days before rent was due she told me she was half short of hers. I did not make enough to pay both shares of rent which meant we had to move (and went our seperate ways). Since all the utilities were in my name she didn't feel the need to keep on top of them even though she was supposed to be paying them to pay be back for the huge deposit I put on the place. So here I am now...unable to get a place of my own. I only had ONE friend step forward to help me and that was only because Mike straight up asked her. If it were not for this one friend, I would be homeless. On the street, homeless....and not my fault AT ALL. I had my rent, I was pulling my share. Even those who love you most can fuck you over royally.

Now back to Lexi. I haven't posted on this thread because I have mixed emotions. I was one of the people in chat cheering Vi on. Not recently, but when she first spoke up....because she was playing devils advocate...and that needs to happen a lot more than it in fact does. She raised some good points. I don't agree with her 100% but I dont agree with anyone 100%. I do think the focus needs to go back to how to help Lexi now.

When I first read the post. I was angry. Not at anyone...well ok maybe myself. Because I found myself headed down the same path. And I gain weight faster than anyone on this board I assure you. I gained 50 pounds in the past 2 months without eating 24/7 and it was not water gain. Shit happens. Depression happens. Abuse happens. I have since changed my circumstances with the help of my fiance. Not everyone has someone to lean on. I have also taken matters of my health into my own hands reguardless of what my fans think...I have given them far too much say in my personal life...and if that attention seeking, self destruction doesn't stop, I will end up just like Lexi...or worse. That's why I was angry.....because I saw myself doing the same exact things. And I too have medical reasons for gaining weight hella fast.

Sorry this post is so scattered. I made it to defend people. To defend Russell...to defend Vi....to defend Lexi. We are ALL right. Now it is time to do something. Lexi needs help. I have no clue how to help her...Im nowhere near Florida......I also have no money if you read the above you would know why...I'm at a loss as to what to do for her. If it were me I would probably contact Dr Phill. Once again...I know you people hate him...but this really isnt about who you like and who you dont. He has helped people and does interviews for the housebound from satellite. Yes he is a fat man who preaches weightloss....so what....I used to be a collections agent who probably has more debt than any of my customers. He has resources....I've seen him transport people who couldnt even roll over in bed without help much less sit up. How do you contact him? Hell if I know....but it's what I would do...I would have someone help me contact him.

Lexi....you are 4 feet in every direction....you are very large no doubt but not impossible. I know in my own life if I am having a fat day things work a lot less nicer for me...just the way I fit in general. I know we are worlds apart since I can still walk....I caught my self destruction in time..partially thanx to you. But I'm just saying...do not give up. I'm sorry the hospital experiences have been so painful for you. I also hope that P.T. is working for you in gaining a larger range of motion. Have you ever seen the videos where you work out in a chair? Yes I realise people she still needs a bed...not exercise advice. I can't help with the bed....so I am helping the only way I know how. I'm trying to make Lexi see that there is hella bright light at the end of the tunnel.

Now Lexi darling. What is Medifast? When I first read it I thought it was like one of those diet pills you get from GNC. I think I am thinking of something else....I hope I am. This is safe for you right? I mean if your Dr's aren't behind you are you sure it is ok for your heart etc? I realise your Dr's are the equivilant of baboons with a clipboard....I was just checking...sometimes things have bad interactions...but Im sure you already weighed out those issues.

I wish I could do more......but all I can do now is cheer you on from the sidelines. Im serious about Dr. Phill. Maybe he could help get the bed...maybe he could help get you into a center. I know there is a bariatric center in NYC....I would love to go to one of those.

And to everyone else...please dont wasnt your time flaming me....it took alot for me to be able to post on this thread....I have so many personal emotions and experiences clouding my thoughts.

All in all Lexi needs a new bed and Lexi needs to lose weight. The question is who, when, how, where and by what means. I'm sure Lexi has went over and over in her mind about the crap she did over the years to put herself here...but wishful thinking can't reverse the facts.

I dunno...maybe everyone will hate me and this will be my last post...who knows.

I wish you the best Lexi...I just woke up so this is probably one crazy post,


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## Lexi

BigCutieViolet said:


> I never said this thread was about me. At all. Nor have I ever wanted it to be.
> 
> As far as what have I done, I have made suggestions. I have made points. Why not take the money and hire a private physician...one NOT associated with medicare. Money talks, and I am almost positive if all the doctors in the area were called and told a private pay patient needed a doctor to do a house call, that there would be at least one who would do it. And then that doctor could do and sign whatever Lexi needed to get her health better. To get her the equipment and services that she needs. They said they have been looking, but many doctors who accept medicare are underpaid for the services they provide in the office, and surely would not want to go to someones house. Write to Dr.Phil, write to Oprah, write to anyone that may be able to help. My suggestion of maybe going into a nursing home for a few months. They will accomodate you. If the bed doesnt work for you, tell them you want a gel mattress, or the ones that are electric and move the pressure around so that there are no pressure points. There are things out there that can be done.




Violet just as point of correction I do not have and am not qualified for Medicare.There are actually more benefits if I was sadly. I have Medicaid.Secondly we have tried to get Private Pay Physicians. Even in the hospital the Doctors were refusing to take my ccase right and left simply because I am high risk and not good odds for their malpractice insurance.I even agreed to sign waivers stating i would not sue if anything happened and no one would see me.The ER doctor that was on the night I was brought in was going to put a catheter in me and give a water pill and try to send me home on home health since my doctor that sent me there has no hospital privledges anywhere and no doctors wanted to take me on. I saw the records showing all therefusals. The one that the hospital finally convinced to take did not even want to touch me he stood 6 feet across the room klooked atme and said oh your just fat and walked out to write scripts for the fat lady. Did not even notice I was in mid sentence explaing to him what my symptoms were. He was already out the door.Its unfortunate but doctors do not want to go out of their way to help high risk patients. They take too much time.Once they get pit on as doctor of record they cant just derop you. Thats why most just say no.

As far as writing Oprah and Dr Phil not only have I writeen,my kids and family have to.I also senr federal express to a few of her produces a portfolio on me. I had also sent it to Monyel Williams.

Thanks again for your thoughts.

Lexi


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## Lexi

fatlane said:


> In the Book of Job, Bildad proposes the traditional Jewish view, which corresponds to the Islamic Mu'tazili view, that God rewards the righteous and punishes the wicked. Job believed the wicked and righteous are both punished together. Elihu rebukes both those views: there is suffering in the world, but redemption is also possible. Through our sufferings, we find value in our lives.
> 
> At the end of the Book of Job, Job repents of his dim view of things, his friends repent of their accusations, and Job forgives his friends. Job is then restored.
> 
> There is a good lesson in this for us all. In spite of sufferings, God is compassionate. If we, therefore, wish to be more Godlike, we should become more compassionate in our lives.
> 
> Speaking of compassion, how's things at your end, Lexi? Wouldn't want to ignore you in all this moral debating.




Actually, knowing there are people out there that care really helps. I have met sspme really nice people that have emailed privately or im'md and offerred some great ideas things they have tried and worked. In fact Russell gave me a great idea this morning that Ciar is out there working on this afternoon.

Thanks for asking it put a smile on my face.

Lexi


----------



## Missy9579

Lexi said:


> Violet just as point of correction I do not have and am not qualified for Medicare.There are actually more benefits if I was sadly. I have Medicaid.Secondly we have tried to get Private Pay Physicians. Even in the hospital the Doctors were refusing to take my ccase right and left simply because I am high risk and not good odds for their malpractice insurance.I even agreed to sign waivers stating i would not sue if anything happened and no one would see me.The ER doctor that was on the night I was brought in was going to put a catheter in me and give a water pill and try to send me home on home health since my doctor that sent me there has no hospital privledges anywhere and no doctors wanted to take me on. I saw the records showing all therefusals. The one that the hospital finally convinced to take did not even want to touch me he stood 6 feet across the room klooked atme and said oh your just fat and walked out to write scripts for the fat lady. Did not even notice I was in mid sentence explaing to him what my symptoms were. He was already out the door.Its unfortunate but doctors do not want to go out of their way to help high risk patients. They take too much time.Once they get pit on as doctor of record they cant just derop you. Thats why most just say no.
> 
> As far as writing Oprah and Dr Phil not only have I writeen,my kids and family have to.I also senr federal express to a few of her produces a portfolio on me. I had also sent it to Monyel Williams.
> 
> Thanks again for your thoughts.
> 
> Lexi



Thank you for clearing that up for me, I do not know the difference between medicare and medicade. I know that I live in CT an dunless you are under 18 or over 65, they offer no program that gives you health insurance. I have also been declined for several private policys because of my weight.

Maybe we should all write to Dr.Phil. Maybe he can ignor ethe few letters you have written, but maybe he wouldnt ignore 100 letters, or more. I have seen him do interviews with home boung patients, and also bring a woman who weighed 700 pounds to his show. He has resources. Maybe he could contact the bed comapny and get a better deal, or maybe they would give it to you for promotion on his show, sinc ethey are a small company.

I have tried to think of the non smut, actually helping talk shows and I have thought of Oprah, Dr.Phil, and Tyra Banks.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

BigCutieViolet said:


> Thank you for clearing that up for me, I do not know the difference between medicare and medicade. I know that I live in CT an dunless you are under 18 or over 65, they offer no program that gives you health insurance. I have also been declined for several private policys because of my weight.
> 
> Maybe we should all write to Dr.Phil. Maybe he can ignor ethe few letters you have written, but maybe he wouldnt ignore 100 letters, or more. I have seen him do interviews with home boung patients, and also bring a woman who weighed 700 pounds to his show. He has resources. Maybe he could contact the bed comapny and get a better deal, or maybe they would give it to you for promotion on his show, sinc ethey are a small company.
> 
> I have tried to think of the non smut, actually helping talk shows and I have thought of Oprah, Dr.Phil, and Tyra Banks.




I actually think thats a good idea. Lets bombard them. Maybe the talk shows didnt even get your stuff Lexi...they pick and chose...and being pushy could be the key...and if 100 of us write letters....they are more likely to be seen. If there is one thing I can do....I can write.....I can write well...despite my performance here on the boards, lol. Count me in if it's what you want.


----------



## GoddessPatty

Well all I can say is Im truly disgusted by alot of these posts and I cant continue reading alot of this thread.
Whats even more disgusting is going into the dim chatroom that I so love to frequent and see hateful comments about this thread being made by people I thought were loving, caring, compassionate, accepting friends. God forbid you being in this situation someday. Maybe then, a light will turn on for you and yours.
Well I feel like vomiting and Im pretty much crying at all I read in this thread.
Here we are fighting for self acceptance due to our size and some of our own are hating. That truly makes me sad!
Lexi, from day one that I came into this worldwide bbw community, you were the very first person that offered me assistance as far as getting me out there involved in the community. That is something I have never forgotten. I, myself, was down and out on my luck. Had just been laid off from my 19 yr state job due to personal problems and living in a hotel for 5 mths due to my house foreclosing. You offered me a place to live and a job as your assistant. You didnt really know me other than knowing that there was a bbw in the world suffering and you werent going to allow it. When I declined the offer because I was scared to move so far away from my kids, you then in turn sent me money. You helped me at a time in my life where I was truly thinking my life had sunken to its lowest point and there was no getting up.
I will forever love you for that Lexi. Im really sad that you are in a situation that you are having trouble getting out of. I wish there was something I could now do for you but I dont really know what I can do other than maybe make calls for you or anything. Im here as your friend who truly cares about you. I have no hidden agendas or mixed feelings about anything you are going through. Just like you were with me. You are a very special, loving woman. NEVER forget that. There are alot of people wanting things to be 100% better for you. Let that be your guide and may things turn around real quick for you.
Contact me if and when you just need someone to talk to Lexi. I love you Lady!!!:kiss2: 

Goddess Patty


----------



## Lexi

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Im going to make a non-lexi post for a sec if it is ok. *Lexi honey, I wish you all the best and I know you will be fine and it will all work out for you*
> 
> Now as far as being homeless....I can tell you people you can end up in shit situations without it being their fault. 4 months ago I was homeless and it was not even 1% my fault. I was room mates with my sister and 2 days before rent was due she told me she was half short of hers. I did not make enough to pay both shares of rent which meant we had to move (and went our seperate ways). Since all the utilities were in my name she didn't feel the need to keep on top of them even though she was supposed to be paying them to pay be back for the huge deposit I put on the place. So here I am now...unable to get a place of my own. I only had ONE friend step forward to help me and that was only because Mike straight up asked her. If it were not for this one friend, I would be homeless. On the street, homeless....and not my fault AT ALL. I had my rent, I was pulling my share. Even those who love you most can fuck you over royally.
> 
> Now back to Lexi. I haven't posted on this thread because I have mixed emotions. I was one of the people in chat cheering Vi on. Not recently, but when she first spoke up....because she was playing devils advocate...and that needs to happen a lot more than it in fact does. She raised some good points. I don't agree with her 100% but I dont agree with anyone 100%. I do think the focus needs to go back to how to help Lexi now.
> 
> When I first read the post. I was angry. Not at anyone...well ok maybe myself. Because I found myself headed down the same path. And I gain weight faster than anyone on this board I assure you. I gained 50 pounds in the past 2 months without eating 24/7 and it was not water gain. Shit happens. Depression happens. Abuse happens. I have since changed my circumstances with the help of my fiance. Not everyone has someone to lean on. I have also taken matters of my health into my own hands reguardless of what my fans think...I have given them far too much say in my personal life...and if that attention seeking, self destruction doesn't stop, I will end up just like Lexi...or worse. That's why I was angry.....because I saw myself doing the same exact things. And I too have medical reasons for gaining weight hella fast.
> 
> Sorry this post is so scattered. I made it to defend people. To defend Russell...to defend Vi....to defend Lexi. We are ALL right. Now it is time to do something. Lexi needs help. I have no clue how to help her...Im nowhere near Florida......I also have no money if you read the above you would know why...I'm at a loss as to what to do for her. If it were me I would probably contact Dr Phill. Once again...I know you people hate him...but this really isnt about who you like and who you dont. He has helped people and does interviews for the housebound from satellite. Yes he is a fat man who preaches weightloss....so what....I used to be a collections agent who probably has more debt than any of my customers. He has resources....I've seen him transport people who couldnt even roll over in bed without help much less sit up. How do you contact him? Hell if I know....but it's what I would do...I would have someone help me contact him.
> 
> Lexi....you are 4 feet in every direction....you are very large no doubt but not impossible. I know in my own life if I am having a fat day things work a lot less nicer for me...just the way I fit in general. I know we are worlds apart since I can still walk....I caught my self destruction in time..partially thanx to you. But I'm just saying...do not give up. I'm sorry the hospital experiences have been so painful for you. I also hope that P.T. is working for you in gaining a larger range of motion. Have you ever seen the videos where you work out in a chair? Yes I realise people she still needs a bed...not exercise advice. I can't help with the bed....so I am helping the only way I know how. I'm trying to make Lexi see that there is hella bright light at the end of the tunnel.
> 
> Now Lexi darling. What is Medifast? When I first read it I thought it was like one of those diet pills you get from GNC. I think I am thinking of something else....I hope I am. This is safe for you right? I mean if your Dr's aren't behind you are you sure it is ok for your heart etc? I realise your Dr's are the equivilant of baboons with a clipboard....I was just checking...sometimes things have bad interactions...but Im sure you already weighed out those issues.
> 
> I wish I could do more......but all I can do now is cheer you on from the sidelines. Im serious about Dr. Phill. Maybe he could help get the bed...maybe he could help get you into a center. I know there is a bariatric center in NYC....I would love to go to one of those.
> 
> And to everyone else...please dont wasnt your time flaming me....it took alot for me to be able to post on this thread....I have so many personal emotions and experiences clouding my thoughts.
> 
> All in all Lexi needs a new bed and Lexi needs to lose weight. The question is who, when, how, where and by what means. I'm sure Lexi has went over and over in her mind about the crap she did over the years to put herself here...but wishful thinking can't reverse the facts.
> 
> I dunno...maybe everyone will hate me and this will be my last post...who knows.
> 
> I wish you the best Lexi...I just woke up so this is probably one crazy post,




H there and you actually made my day with your post.You gave me a great present. You gave me a way to accomplish something good despite the fact that I have spent the last week putting my life out for people to see and editoialize on. I need help there is no doubt. Asking for help does not come easy. I am glad you saw something in my situation that will as you say help you to do what you need to do prevent ending up where I am. Thank you for letting me help you see that. It makes me feel good that someone else will not suffer as me.

Medifast is not the pillold in drug stores. It is a diet formulated by John Hopkins University over 20 years ago.It is used by many thousands of people every day.Please email me if you are interested in more info on it. Im sure i''m not sure I can post the diet info on Dimensions. I would be happy to tell anyone about it that is interested. My email is [email protected]

I hope your situation gets better too

Best Wishes
Lexi


----------



## EbonySSBBW

BigCutieViolet said:


> Thank you for clearing that up for me, I do not know the difference between medicare and medicade.



Perhaps you should have looked that up before you continued on with your judgments and assumptions about what Lexi has or hasn't done in order to justify her need for help.

I totally agree with brainstorming and coming up with ideas that others haven't mentioned. That is not the problem that I have with your posts. It was the judgment that was a bit hard to understand. These were your words: 

_"If we want to turn this into a model debate, yes I model, But i am not sitting here gaining hundreds of pounds in front of a camera, profiting from it, BLOWING those profits and then turning to others for more money to abilme out of the situation I willingly got myself into. 700 pounds does NOT happen overnight. Its so nic ethat you care about what your customers apprecaite, but maybe if you had cared a little more about lexis health before it got to where it is, instead of about your customers, then we wouldnt be having this thread. I am not critisizing Lexi for modeling at all, its been great for me, and a fun time. I am just saying, she got herself into this situation, take the respoinsibility, dont say I dont know how it happened, but now I need help to fix it. Take ALL The steps needed to fix it, and not just the free money. Stop having phone sex, and use your phone time to call centers and doctors, to find someone to help her."_

What is the point of saying nasty things like that? It has nothing at all to do with brainstorming for ways to help. First of all, you are a paysite model and even if you don't participate in phone sex, you are NO different than Lexi. Men aren't joining your site to admire your sense of style. You sell sex. Bottom line. I was just browsing the paysite board and saw such threads from you as...Cookout Cutie and Pizza, Pizza and More Pizza. Is that not using food and weight to sell sex? The only difference is that you weigh less. How dare you judge Lexi for doing the same thing that you are doing. It's ridiculous! You are very lucky that you had a friend to take care of you when you were homeless and unemployed. You are lucky that your friend didn't look back at your life and say well, you should have done this or you shouldn't have done that. You are also lucky that the people you work for didn't look at your website and say, "We don't want someone like YOU taking care of our baby." Would that have been fair? I think that you just need to step down off of the high horse for a bit because, as far as the paysite, you are no different than Lexi. Perhaps then you can give advice and options minus the judgment because some of the ideas are actually worth looking into.


----------



## Missy9579

I surely do not think I am sitting up on a high horse. I do have a paysite. And I am proud of my site. Just to clear up a little bit about my site, for the first 2 years that I had it, I did not show my breasts. So men were paying to see exactly what they could have seen going to the beach from a girl in a bikini. The last year I have showed my breasts, and I agree, that maybe that is selling "sex" And yes, I do eating sets. BUT if i saw my health was in danger, or if I was gaining a rapid amount of weight, bet yer ass I would not be doing them. 

I realize that my job could be affected by my paysite, and I am retiring from my site. It does not fit my lifestyle anymore. And unless you do a paysite as your main and only job, everyone has the chance of having their job effected by their site, if they work with kids, in an office or where ever. There are many horror stories from other models that it has happened to first hand.

I realize that many feel that alot of my words are harsh. I surely have been down and out, and I had people, not even were they my friends at the time help me. But again, it was not handed to me. And when i was going to be homeless, this good person opened her home to me, not for a night, but for as long as I needed it. Had she offered me her home for a night, I would have been going right back into the same situation. She offered not a bandaid, but a solution to the problem, and trust me, I am and will be forever grateful to this person.

Harsh words sometimes hurt, but are sometimes needed as well. No one should bo coddled from peoples opinion, And I am not sorry that I have voiced how I feel. And if that makes any or all of you hate me, or think I am a cold hearted person, then so be it. 

And just so you know, if this story was taken by the media, all of the questions I have asked and more, much worse will be asked. And she and her family will need to be ready for it. Society will NOT understand. The average person DOES hate, or think fat people are lazy, or what not. I dont hate fat, or fat people.


----------



## crazygrad

Witjout posting the details, Medifast, like optifast, is a very low calories liquid diet that is supposed to be done under a dr's care and supervision.

Lexi, I hope you're getting some ideas, both for immediate relief and long-term recovery. I know when I had cancer, thinking long term actually HELPED me cope because it was so easy to give in and assume the worst would happen. Planning and arranging for post-chemo life helped me get through it.

Likewise, needing relief for the moment shouldn't preclude thinking about long term and what you can do and what you have in place to ensure a smooth recovery and the reclaiming and gaining of your health.

I know some of these folks have been mentioned, and frankly I shudder to recommend them since I find some of them icky, but you konw, sometimes we have to slepp with the devil (metaphorically speaking) to accomplish our goals, so here goes-

Richard Simmons
Beach Body (makers of many workouts and make infomercials- they might be interested in helping in exchange for rights to your story) Likewise:
Leslie Sansone
The Firm

Duke University (major researchj hospital with lots of stuff going on in terms of weight management and women's health) Likewise:
Tufts University
Ohio State University

Montel Williams
Oprah
Dr. Phil
Maury
Jerry Springer
Carnie Wilson

Have you checked with andover? I know you mentioned they can't take you but do tghey have suggestions? resources? able to put you in touch with someone at Discovery to profile you? For that matter, what about some of their residents seem to have been forthcoming about their lives. Perhaps one of them has some connections you could call upon.

Lastly, how's your pT coming? Do you like your PT person? Is he/she compassionate and working with you? Does he/she give you different exercises to try when some cause pain? That's what you should be getting- alternatives when one exercise doesn't work.

That's why I keep coming back to hospital programs, not because I'm advacting a certain course of action, but because in a major hospital program you are likely to find: facilities taht can accomodate you; doctors who have experience; therapists with experience; nutritionists with experience, and nurses with experience in dealing with severe weight rpoblems. I know in my pre-surg programs (and again I'm not advocating surgery, but many centers have comprehensive weight management programs of which surgery is only 1 part) about one third of my classmates were over 600-700 pounds. I think a major center might have facilities and staff expereinced in meeting your needs and helping you prep a follow up program.

I wish you the best.


----------



## Missy9579

crazygrad said:


> Witjout posting the details, Medifast, like optifast, is a very low calories liquid diet that is supposed to be done under a dr's care and supervision.
> 
> Lexi, I hope you're getting some ideas, both for immediate relief and long-term recovery. I know when I had cancer, thinking long term actually HELPED me cope because it was so easy to give in and assume the worst would happen. Planning and arranging for post-chemo life helped me get through it.
> 
> Likewise, needing relief for the moment shouldn't preclude thinking about long term and what you can do and what you have in place to ensure a smooth recovery and the reclaiming and gaining of your health.
> 
> I know some of these folks have been mentioned, and frankly I shudder to recommend them since I find some of them icky, but you konw, sometimes we have to slepp with the devil (metaphorically speaking) to accomplish our goals, so here goes-
> 
> Richard Simmons
> Beach Body (makers of many workouts and make infomercials- they might be interested in helping in exchange for rights to your story) Likewise:
> Leslie Sansone
> The Firm
> 
> Duke University (major researchj hospital with lots of stuff going on in terms of weight management and women's health) Likewise:
> Tufts University
> Ohio State University
> 
> Montel Williams
> Oprah
> Dr. Phil
> Maury
> Jerry Springer
> Carnie Wilson
> 
> Have you checked with andover? I know you mentioned they can't take you but do tghey have suggestions? resources? able to put you in touch with someone at Discovery to profile you? For that matter, what about some of their residents seem to have been forthcoming about their lives. Perhaps one of them has some connections you could call upon.
> 
> Lastly, how's your pT coming? Do you like your PT person? Is he/she compassionate and working with you? Does he/she give you different exercises to try when some cause pain? That's what you should be getting- alternatives when one exercise doesn't work.
> 
> That's why I keep coming back to hospital programs, not because I'm advacting a certain course of action, but because in a major hospital program you are likely to find: facilities taht can accomodate you; doctors who have experience; therapists with experience; nutritionists with experience, and nurses with experience in dealing with severe weight rpoblems. I know in my pre-surg programs (and again I'm not advocating surgery, but many centers have comprehensive weight management programs of which surgery is only 1 part) about one third of my classmates were over 600-700 pounds. I think a major center might have facilities and staff expereinced in meeting your needs and helping you prep a follow up program.
> 
> I wish you the best.




Great post, lots of great suggestions.


----------



## EbonySSBBW

BigCutieViolet said:


> And just so you know, if this story was taken by the media, all of the questions I have asked and more, much worse will be asked. And she and her family will need to be ready for it. Society will NOT understand. The average person DOES hate, or think fat people are lazy, or what not. I dont hate fat, or fat people.



First of all, this isn't the Oprah show and you aren't Oprah. I think that most of us here know, first hand, how cruel it can be out there. That's exactly the point! Shouldn't fat people be able to expect more from this community?


----------



## crazygrad

Thanks, BCV, I do think you brought up a good point- the media will be much harsher. Since so many suggestions have been about the media- both local and national personalities- it is helpful to think about what their questions will be and how they will treat Lexi. Even forums that seem sympathetic (like many of the Discovery Channel's programs are) play to an audience that eyes fat people as something akin to garbage. So as harsh as I found some of your posts, I do think it serves as a reminder of what Lexi might find if she pursues some of the media avenues that have been suggested. It kinda reminds me of trial prep- asking nasty question before someone hits the stand so they're prepared when they get it from the opposition. I hesitated to mention certain talk show personalities because I find them exploitative but hell, they do seem to be able to get people medical attention (and they often seem to pay for it) that they couldn't get otherwise. Like I said, we sometimes have to get in bed with people we hate to accomplish our goals.

This isn't to say, Lexi, that you have to go to the media. But if you are looking for some major aid that may be the best route to take. $6000 may get you a great bed, but it won't go very far, medically speaking, if you either hope for or suspect you need a major, in hospital intervention to get your case moving in the right direction.


----------



## Russell Williams

BigCutieViolet said:


> So you feed them for a night, and then the next day they go right back out, into the same world that sent them to you, needing the help. What does that solve long term? How many times do you have to see the same people in the same situation, before you realize you are only putting a bandaid on a gaping wound? And that unless something changes with their WHOLE situation, they will continue to self destruct.
> 
> I see your point, but, I am not about putting a bandaid on a situation. Fix it right the first time, and maybe you wouldnt see the people in the same situatin, tomorrow, or the next day.



I will be happy to hear how to fix the following right the first time. I am personally encountered these situations. The first two were in the shelter the last was in the ambulance.

1) A bipolar who refused to take his medicine.

2) A man who has drunk so much for so many years that he now understands things about as well as some 4 year olds.

3) A man who has cancer of the bones to the point where his hip is broken becauise it has been eaten through with cancer.

I eagerly await your answer to the first two because the shelter will be starting up in about 2 months and I will surely again encounter people like the two mentioned above.

The shelter has a day shelter and those coming to it must spend their time activily working on improving their life situation. Often the start of that is geting a replacement identification card and a social security card.


----------



## ThatFatGirl

EbonySSBBW said:


> Perhaps you should have looked that up before you continued on with your judgments and assumptions about what Lexi has or hasn't done in order to justify her need for help.
> 
> I totally agree with brainstorming and coming up with ideas that others haven't mentioned. That is not the problem that I have with your posts. It was the judgment that was a bit hard to understand. These were your words:
> 
> _"If we want to turn this into a model debate, yes I model, But i am not sitting here gaining hundreds of pounds in front of a camera, profiting from it, BLOWING those profits and then turning to others for more money to abilme out of the situation I willingly got myself into. 700 pounds does NOT happen overnight. Its so nic ethat you care about what your customers apprecaite, but maybe if you had cared a little more about lexis health before it got to where it is, instead of about your customers, then we wouldnt be having this thread. I am not critisizing Lexi for modeling at all, its been great for me, and a fun time. I am just saying, she got herself into this situation, take the respoinsibility, dont say I dont know how it happened, but now I need help to fix it. Take ALL The steps needed to fix it, and not just the free money. Stop having phone sex, and use your phone time to call centers and doctors, to find someone to help her."_
> 
> What is the point of saying nasty things like that? It has nothing at all to do with brainstorming for ways to help. First of all, you are a paysite model and even if you don't participate in phone sex, you are NO different than Lexi. Men aren't joining your site to admire your sense of style. You sell sex. Bottom line. I was just browsing the paysite board and saw such threads from you as...Cookout Cutie and Pizza, Pizza and More Pizza. Is that not using food and weight to sell sex? The only difference is that you weigh less. How dare you judge Lexi for doing the same thing that you are doing. It's ridiculous! You are very lucky that you had a friend to take care of you when you were homeless and unemployed. You are lucky that your friend didn't look back at your life and say well, you should have done this or you shouldn't have done that. You are also lucky that the people you work for didn't look at your website and say, "We don't want someone like YOU taking care of our baby." Would that have been fair? I think that you just need to step down off of the high horse for a bit because, as far as the paysite, you are no different than Lexi. Perhaps then you can give advice and options minus the judgment because some of the ideas are actually worth looking into.



Excellent, excellent post. I would've just repped you for it, but my repping abilities are spent for the moment and seeing your words repeated is a good thing anyway.

This thread has really shown peoples' true colors - some of them truly ugly.

"Judge not lest ye be judged..."


----------



## Lexi

crazygrad said:


> Witjout posting the details, Medifast, like optifast, is a very low calories liquid diet that is supposed to be done under a dr's care and supervision.
> 
> Lexi, I hope you're getting some ideas, both for immediate relief and long-term recovery. I know when I had cancer, thinking long term actually HELPED me cope because it was so easy to give in and assume the worst would happen. Planning and arranging for post-chemo life helped me get through it.
> 
> Likewise, needing relief for the moment shouldn't preclude thinking about long term and what you can do and what you have in place to ensure a smooth recovery and the reclaiming and gaining of your health.
> 
> I know some of these folks have been mentioned, and frankly I shudder to recommend them since I find some of them icky, but you konw, sometimes we have to slepp with the devil (metaphorically speaking) to accomplish our goals, so here goes-
> 
> Richard Simmons
> Beach Body (makers of many workouts and make infomercials- they might be interested in helping in exchange for rights to your story) Likewise:
> Leslie Sansone
> The Firm
> 
> Duke University (major researchj hospital with lots of stuff going on in terms of weight management and women's health) Likewise:
> Tufts University
> Ohio State University
> 
> Montel Williams
> Oprah
> Dr. Phil
> Maury
> Jerry Springer
> Carnie Wilson
> 
> Have you checked with andover? I know you mentioned they can't take you but do tghey have suggestions? resources? able to put you in touch with someone at Discovery to profile you? For that matter, what about some of their residents seem to have been forthcoming about their lives. Perhaps one of them has some connections you could call upon.
> 
> Lastly, how's your pT coming? Do you like your PT person? Is he/she compassionate and working with you? Does he/she give you different exercises to try when some cause pain? That's what you should be getting- alternatives when one exercise doesn't work.
> 
> That's why I keep coming back to hospital programs, not because I'm advacting a certain course of action, but because in a major hospital program you are likely to find: facilities taht can accomodate you; doctors who have experience; therapists with experience; nutritionists with experience, and nurses with experience in dealing with severe weight rpoblems. I know in my pre-surg programs (and again I'm not advocating surgery, but many centers have comprehensive weight management programs of which surgery is only 1 part) about one third of my classmates were over 600-700 pounds. I think a major center might have facilities and staff expereinced in meeting your needs and helping you prep a follow up program.
> 
> I wish you the best.




Thanks you for your well thought out post. You offer many good suggestions. Some that I have tried but a few new ones as well to try tomorrow.When there is a tomorrow there is always hope foe a solution.

I have actually had 3 different PT people. The first was ignorant. They really thought that I should be able to stand up and sit down ten times in a row as exercise without even checking to see how much even 1 stand up was.How much pain and damage it causes. The next two PTs were very nice. No they are no longer on my case. They felt that intil the doctor could solve the pain issues any futher aggravation to my arm,shoulder and neck would be detrimental. Until I can stand up safely they cant do much with lower limb mobility.They did promise to come back after I got a bed. The PT did send out the hospital social worker to write up a medically needy form for Medicaid to get a waiver to get Medicaid to pay for the bed. Medicaid turned it down however saying they did not fund those items.

Yes I have contacted Andover.I am still on the waiting list.

Thank you again for the ideas.

Lexi


----------



## mossystate

ThatFatGirl said:


> Excellent, excellent post. I would've just repped you for it, but my repping abilities are spent for the moment and seeing your words repeated is a good thing anyway.
> 
> This thread has really shown peoples' true colors - some of them truly ugly.
> 
> "Judge not lest ye be judged..."



I covered that rep for you...*L*


----------



## Angel

BigCutieViolet said:


> I realize that many feel that alot of my words are harsh. I surely have been down and out, and I had people, not even were they my friends at the time help me. But again, it was not handed to me. And when i was going to be homeless, this good person opened her home to me, not for a night, but for as long as I needed it. Had she offered me her home for a night, I would have been going right back into the same situation. She offered not a bandaid, but a solution to the problem, and trust me, I am and will be forever grateful to this person.
> 
> Harsh words sometimes hurt, but are sometimes needed as well. No one should bo coddled from peoples opinion, And I am not sorry that I have voiced how I feel. And if that makes any or all of you hate me, or think I am a cold hearted person, then so be it.
> 
> And just so you know, if this story was taken by the media, all of the questions I have asked and more, much worse will be asked. And she and her family will need to be ready for it. Society will NOT understand. The average person DOES hate, or think fat people are lazy, or what not. I dont hate fat, or fat people.



Words are not harsh. It is the person slinging the words who is being harsh. It is the attitude of the person slinging the words that is harsh. You keep making excuses, but you are only digging yourself in deeper and deeper. Curiosity is one thing. Being snidefully judgemental and then trying to sugar coat it with _I was only trying to explore all the options_ is repulsive, and that's putting it nicely! Do you really think people here are that oblivious? One thing is for sure, as you so eloquently stated, "I am not sorry that I have voiced *how I feel*."

You keep putting all this on Lexi- that *she* should find her own solution and take responsibility yet you stated that when you had a problem (might I add not at all comparable to what Lexi is facing) that *your friend* "offered not a bandaid, but a solution to the problem." 

We sometimes do expect society to not understand, but given all the facts that Lexi has so freely given, I'm sure that society would be much more understanding and compassionate than what some in both the medical profession and a select few here have shown.


----------



## Lexi

BigCutieViolet said:


> Thank you for clearing that up for me, I do not know the difference between medicare and medicade. I know that I live in CT an dunless you are under 18 or over 65, they offer no program that gives you health insurance. I have also been declined for several private policys because of my weight.
> 
> .



Violet,

Here are the basic differences between the two.

Medicaid- Everyone is eligble based upon their income and need. If over 19 must have medical necessity.. It is state funded.It is subject to federal regulations and guidelines.In most cases there are no co pay amounts.Rules differ between states.

Medicare you must be 65 or over or qualified by disability
Need to have contributed to Medicare system for required number of years to be eligible

There may be more bt thats the basics.

Lexi


----------



## SoVerySoft

mossystate said:


> I covered that rep for you...*L*




LOL...so did I!


----------



## Lexi

GoddessPatty said:


> Well all I can say is Im truly disgusted by alot of these posts and I cant continue reading alot of this thread.
> Whats even more disgusting is going into the dim chatroom that I so love to frequent and see hateful comments about this thread being made by people I thought were loving, caring, compassionate, accepting friends. God forbid you being in this situation someday. Maybe then, a light will turn on for you and yours.
> Well I feel like vomiting and Im pretty much crying at all I read in this thread.
> Here we are fighting for self acceptance due to our size and some of our own are hating. That truly makes me sad!
> Lexi, from day one that I came into this worldwide bbw community, you were the very first person that offered me assistance as far as getting me out there involved in the community. That is something I have never forgotten. I, myself, was down and out on my luck. Had just been laid off from my 19 yr state job due to personal problems and living in a hotel for 5 mths due to my house foreclosing. You offered me a place to live and a job as your assistant. You didnt really know me other than knowing that there was a bbw in the world suffering and you werent going to allow it. When I declined the offer because I was scared to move so far away from my kids, you then in turn sent me money. You helped me at a time in my life where I was truly thinking my life had sunken to its lowest point and there was no getting up.
> I will forever love you for that Lexi. Im really sad that you are in a situation that you are having trouble getting out of. I wish there was something I could now do for you but I dont really know what I can do other than maybe make calls for you or anything. Im here as your friend who truly cares about you. I have no hidden agendas or mixed feelings about anything you are going through. Just like you were with me. You are a very special, loving woman. NEVER forget that. There are alot of people wanting things to be 100% better for you. Let that be your guide and may things turn around real quick for you.
> Contact me if and when you just need someone to talk to Lexi. I love you Lady!!!:kiss2:
> 
> Goddess Patty




Patty,

Thank you so much for writng. I remember your voice the night I spoke to you. You were wounded inside. I am always one to try to solve everyones problems. Its hard to be the one needing help this time. Its very humbling. The same humbleness I heard in you that night along with sheer desperation. I am so glad I could help you. When I look at your sucesses since then it makes me proud to been just a small part of it.

Thanks for your offer of a chat.I definetly can use a person to talk to.It gets lonely in here 

Keep on suceeding I'm rooting for you tne day I hope to meet you in person. 

All the best

Lexi


----------



## Jane

Lexi said:


> Violet,
> 
> Here are the basic differences between the two.
> 
> Medicaid- Everyone is eligble based upon their income and need. If over 19 must have medical necessity.. It is state funded.It is subject to federal regulations and guidelines.In most cases there are no co pay amounts.Rules differ between states.
> 
> Medicare you must be 65 or over or qualified by disability
> Need to have contributed to Medicare system for required number of years to be eligible
> 
> There may be more bt thats the basics.
> 
> Lexi


In many states/areas within states it's damn near impossible to find doctors who accept Medicaid for adults. One reason Lexi's physician choices have been so limited, I'm sure.

If one has paid into Social Security/Medicare for enough years and been certified as disabled by Social Security for two years, Medicare is available.


----------



## crazygrad

Lexi, You've certainly been gracious under all this. I know I would not be so generous of my self and my spirit under these circumstances, but I'm a bitchy patient.

One last suggestion- have you called local gyms or health clubs? I don't mean to go and workout, but many, especially big clubs, will have PT people, trainers, physiotherapists and so on on staff and many take special programs with different populations- kids, the elderly, the overwieght and so on. They may be able to refer you to someone in the area who can help you that you might not otherwise help since they may not be in a medical system (ie- attached to a hospital).


----------



## Lexi

crazygrad said:


> Lexi, You've certainly been gracious under all this. I know I would not be so generous of my self and my spirit under these circumstances, but I'm a bitchy patient.
> 
> One last suggestion- have you called local gyms or health clubs? I don't mean to go and workout, but many, especially big clubs, will have PT people, trainers, physiotherapists and so on on staff and many take special programs with different populations- kids, the elderly, the overwieght and so on. They may be able to refer you to someone in the area who can help you that you might not otherwise help since they may not be in a medical system (ie- attached to a hospital).




Actually my husband went to a lot of the weight and workout places. His qi gong instructor is trying to research possible ways to help me.

Oh and yes I do have a lot of patience. I learned a long time ago the more patience you have the more you can get done in the correct way. Impatience leads to mistakes.

Thanks

Lexi


----------



## Sandie S-R

BigCutieViolet said:


> So you feed them for a night, and then the next day they go right back out, into the same world that sent them to you, needing the help. What does that solve long term? How many times do you have to see the same people in the same situation, before you realize you are only putting a bandaid on a gaping wound? And that unless something changes with their WHOLE situation, they will continue to self destruct.
> 
> I see your point, but, I am not about putting a bandaid on a situation. Fix it right the first time, and maybe you wouldnt see the people in the same situatin, tomorrow, or the next day.



You know what BCV, your holier than thou attitude is really grating on everyone's nerves. I generally don't jump on people, but this is really not helping anyone, least of all Lexi. I honestly think it is time for you to take a step back from this thread. If you cannot support Lexi, fine. But stop making her jump thru hoops for your help. If you don't wanna help, simply don't. But stop putting her down. 

You've made way too many assumptions about what Lexi has and hasn't done. Quite frankly, she has answered you (point for point), and shown how she has worked every day to try to get out of the situation she is in. Which I find admirable considering how sick she has been. For some reason you seem unwilling to accept it. Which is why I think you need to step back from this.

Like my gramma always said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all".

Another thing my gramma always said, "If you are not a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem".


----------



## SoVerySoft

I sent an email with a link to this thread to the gal who was posting on the weight board from the Tyra show.

Who knows? Maybe they'll decide to help. Or at the very least help publicize Lexi's dilemma.


----------



## Lexi

SoVerySoft said:


> I sent an email with a link to this thread to the gal who was posting on the weight board from the Tyra show.
> 
> Who knows? Maybe they'll decide to help. Or at the very least help publicize Lexi's dilemma.




Thank you that is appreciated.I had never heard of her and I just looked at her show site.I will send her my portfolio on my situation.

Lexi


----------



## Missy9579

Sandie S-R said:


> You know what BCV, your holier than thou attitude is really grating on everyone's nerves. I generally don't jump on people, but this is really not helping anyone, least of all Lexi. I honestly think it is time for you to take a step back from this thread. If you cannot support Lexi, fine. But stop making her jump thru hoops for your help. If you don't wanna help, simply don't. But stop putting her down.
> 
> You've made way too many assumptions about what Lexi has and hasn't done. Quite frankly, she has answered you (point for point), and shown how she has worked every day to try to get out of the situation she is in. Which I find admirable considering how sick she has been. For some reason you seem unwilling to accept it. Which is why I think you need to step back from this.
> 
> Like my gramma always said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all".
> 
> Another thing my gramma always said, "If you are not a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem".




I do not think I should have to step back. Just because what I say does not flow with what the general population cares to say, does not mean that I should not be allowed to say it.

As far as not helping, I think I have made SEVERAL suggestions. Sush as hiring a private physician, which yes Lexi answered and said they have tried, I suggested that everyone write letters to Dr. Phil, since ignoring a few is easy but ignoring hundreds would be much harder. I sugeested she take the money donations and go to MA where the hospitals are far better equiped, and deal with people her size far more often than they do in FL. I suggested she contact Tyra Banks as I have watched her show and know that she does human intrest/help pieces. I have suggested a nursing home for a few months where she could get therapy and on a special eating program. I know everyone is too busy reading what they think is the bad stuff that I wrote to see any of the above suggestions that I have made. But to sit there and say I have done NOTHING but insult her, is untrue.

And like MY momma always said "Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, and most stink"

But that doesn't mean they should not be heard.


----------



## fatlane

BigCutieViolet said:


> I do not think I should have to step back. Just because what I say does not flow with what the general population cares to say, does not mean that I should not be allowed to say it. (SNIP)



Rights are rights, and you're bang to rights. 

However, and there's always a however in cautionary tales such as this one, just because you've got a right doesn't mean it's the right time or place to use that right. 

A soft answer turns away wrath. That's why you should step back. Right now, we're helping Lexi, not defending your position or attacking it. Or at least that's what we're trying to do. I've done some stupid things on this board and the very people who are advising you try a new course were the ones to recommend I take a step back. I'm glad I listened to them and what they had to say meant a lot to me. Let the whole thing cool off and it'll all cool off.

Meanwhile, Lexi, I really hope the suggestions you've gotten thus far - from whoever - and the financial aid you've gotten - from whoever - is able to close the gap. We're here for one of our own.


----------



## Sandie S-R

BigCutieViolet said:


> I do not think I should have to step back. Just because what I say does not flow with what the general population cares to say, does not mean that I should not be allowed to say it.
> 
> As far as not helping, I think I have made SEVERAL suggestions. Sush as hiring a private physician, which yes Lexi answered and said they have tried, I suggested that everyone write letters to Dr. Phil, since ignoring a few is easy but ignoring hundreds would be much harder. I sugeested she take the money donations and go to MA where the hospitals are far better equiped, and deal with people her size far more often than they do in FL. I suggested she contact Tyra Banks as I have watched her show and know that she does human intrest/help pieces. I have suggested a nursing home for a few months where she could get therapy and on a special eating program. I know everyone is too busy reading what they think is the bad stuff that I wrote to see any of the above suggestions that I have made. But to sit there and say I have done NOTHING but insult her, is untrue.
> 
> And like MY momma always said "Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, and most stink"
> 
> But that doesn't mean they should not be heard.




Well you know what, BCV...you're just so freaking right. You, like everyone else, have every right to say whatever you want. You have every right to be offensive, arrogant, presumptuous, insensitive, thoughtless, annoying and any number of other adjectives that I could come up with, but I question why you would want to. As many others have said....this is so not about you, and you *need* to take a step back. 

I suggest that we all keep focused on helping Lexi. She is the one in need, so keep brainstorming people.


----------



## PrettyFatGirl4U

BigCutieViolet said:


> So you feed them for a night, and then the next day they go right back out, into the same world that sent them to you, needing the help. What does that solve long term? How many times do you have to see the same people in the same situation, before you realize you are only putting a bandaid on a gaping wound? And that unless something changes with their WHOLE situation, they will continue to self destruct.
> 
> I see your point, but, I am not about putting a bandaid on a situation. Fix it right the first time, and maybe you wouldnt see the people in the same situatin, tomorrow, or the next day.



Ok BCV-

I've read this entire thread and tried VERY hard to hold my tongue but I can no longer!

You're holier than thou, judgemental proselytizing regarding Lexi is just sickening! You look down your nose at Lexi yet YOU have a website in which YOU have often bragged about your gustatory indulgences and excesses. YOU have bragged about your weight gain and outgrowing of clothes on said website and YOU freely admit you were in a situation with "your 550 pound friend" in which YOU were supported financially as well as given a roof over your head! 

So it's ok for YOU to pander to your clientele to reap financial reward yet you have to audacity to judge Lexi ???

And it's ok for you to take financial support, yet it's not Ok for Lexi in a clearly FAR more dire circumstance? What a hypocrite!!!

BCV, remove the splinter from your own eye before attempting to judge the mote in Lexi's!! If you don't feel Lexi's need is deserving of your financial support don't you dare poison and denigrate the situation more by placing blame! Being a CNA dosen't make you a qualified medical professional and you haven't spent one second walking in Lexi's shoes....so if you have nothing positive to add, how's about just being quiet?

One other rant while I'm feeling the righteous indignation....WHERE are all the Dimensions MEN??? Conrad? Ned? All the rest of the 1000's that view the paysite boards every single day??-- I'm sure all you boys have had a toss or two to Lexi's pics yet it seems to me the ONLY men that have stepped up to the virtual plate are Fatlane and Russell Williams!

So much for community, eh??

I may not agree with Lexi's choices, hell I may not agree with anyone's but I try not to kick someone when they're down and I try not to be judgemental and this "response" from this so called community is nothing but a crying shame!


----------



## ThatFatGirl

PrettyFatGirl4U said:


> One other rant while I'm feeling the righteous indignation....WHERE are all the Dimensions MEN??? Conrad? Ned? All the rest of the 1000's that view the paysite boards every single day??-- I'm sure all you boys have had a toss or two to Lexi's pics yet it seems to me the ONLY men that have stepped up to the virtual plate are Fatlane and Russell Williams!
> 
> So much for community, eh??



I agree with you 110% on everything you said, PFG, but I don't think it's fair to call people out by name here. We have no idea who has sent private messages, emails, etc. Hopefully *many* have contibuted to Lexi's cause without posting about it here.


----------



## PrettyFatGirl4U

ThatFatGirl said:


> I agree with you 110% on everything you said, PFG, but I don't think it's fair to call people out by name here. We have no idea who has sent private messages, emails, etc. Hopefully *many* have contibuted to Lexi's cause without posting about it here.



Yes, I too hope that many have supported Lexi in their own private fashion TFG but I find it very interesting that here is a post almost 250 strong mainly by the *women* of this board. If the women feel comfortable speaking out, again I must ask, where are the men?


----------



## fatlane

:: raises hand ::

Now if we can just get this "guest" guy to send some cards and letters...


----------



## Missy9579

PrettyFatGirl4U said:


> Ok BCV-
> 
> I've read this entire thread and tried VERY hard to hold my tongue but I can no longer!
> 
> You're holier than thou, judgemental proselytizing regarding Lexi is just sickening! You look down your nose at Lexi yet YOU have a website in which YOU have often bragged about your gustatory indulgences and excesses. YOU have bragged about your weight gain and outgrowing of clothes on said website and YOU freely admit you were in a situation with "your 550 pound friend" in which YOU were supported financially as well as given a roof over your head!
> 
> So it's ok for YOU to pander to your clientele to reap financial reward yet you have to audacity to judge Lexi ???
> 
> And it's ok for you to take financial support, yet it's not Ok for Lexi in a clearly FAR more dire circumstance? What a hypocrite!!!
> 
> BCV, remove the splinter from your own eye before attempting to judge the mote in Lexi's!! If you don't feel Lexi's need is deserving of your financial support don't you dare poison and denigrate the situation more by placing blame! Being a CNA dosen't make you a qualified medical professional and you haven't spent one second walking in Lexi's shoes....so if you have nothing positive to add, how's about just being quiet?
> 
> One other rant while I'm feeling the righteous indignation....WHERE are all the Dimensions MEN??? Conrad? Ned? All the rest of the 1000's that view the paysite boards every single day??-- I'm sure all you boys have had a toss or two to Lexi's pics yet it seems to me the ONLY men that have stepped up to the virtual plate are Fatlane and Russell Williams!
> 
> So much for community, eh??
> 
> I may not agree with Lexi's choices, hell I may not agree with anyone's but I try not to kick someone when they're down and I try not to be judgemental and this "response" from this so called community is nothing but a crying shame!



*sigh* you know everytime I say I am done, someone makes a post where I feel I need to come back and defend myself. Instead of focusing on any of the suggestions I have made, everyone wants to harp on my words. And then accuse ME of not helping or not being the one to focus on Lexi. If you do not like what I have to say, ignore me. Continue to help Lexi. 

As far as benefitting financially. I di dnot sit there and reep mounds and mounds of cash. I benefitted by paying a little less rent in exchange for doing the physical stuff around the house she could not do. Laundry that was in the basement, food shopping, vacuming and washing floors. I made dinner each night as she got home later then I did. We BOTH worked full time jobs. She cooked on the weekends. So supported is the incorrect term. I supported myself. I simply maybe worked off a little bit of rent which was a fair exchange for us both.

Maybe none of the men want to comment because they feel the same way that I do, and they do not want to open that can of worms on this post. You tell me so freely if I dont agree with what you all are posting I should not be posting here. SO maybe they just choose not to post. I KNOW that several do at least.

So. for all of you who choose to continue to harp on my words, that is fine. BUt just remember as you sit there and tell me I am taking away from this thread by making it all about me, that YOU are making it all about me. Not I. I could have let this go forever ago, but I kept being dragged through the mud, so I kept responding.

You can all think what you want of me. Its simply your opinion. I know that I am a good person and that is all that counts. Just because I dont give in to what the majority thinks, and voice my opinions, especially about things that I feel strongly about, does not make me a bad person. If everyperson in the world thought alike, and there was no conflict, what a boring world it would be.

Now I am off to go to work. I wont be able to see any posts until after 6pm, and i am sure there will be tons, I just hope they are ones to help Lexi, and not to tell me what an ass I am :-D Since after all, thats what you all are here trying to do, is help Lexi.


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist

New rule: Unless you actually care about the welfare of the woman this thread is about, keep your goddamned advice to yourself. That means EVERYONE.


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## TraciJo67

I have been reluctant to get involved in this discussion. I don't know Lexi, and know very little about her situation. I provide case management & advocacy services for vulnerable adults. Sometimes, I am put in the very difficult position of making recommendations for my clients that run counter to what the client -- or his/her family, for that matter -- really want. Sometimes those recommendations involve a court order, because the family cannot or will not accept the reality of the situation. What I often see is level of denial and enabling behaviors involved that actively hinders the best interest of the affected individual. I am not judging any particulars this situation, just making one very general observation, based on something that BCV said:

_And that is, that if there was an environment that made someone SO unhealthy, then they need to remove themselves from it, not enable them to stay in it. _

This has been a tenet my experience as a social worker. I agree that BCV could have expressed herself with more compassion, but I don't think that everything she said should be discounted. If I were asked to step into a situation as described in this thread, I would be questioning the wisdom of home health care. It is a valid question, and hopefully one that is being seriously contemplated by Lexi & her family.


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist

I think you've got good points, Traci. Certainly, if it were me, I'd make a list of questions to ask care centers locally and abroad. (What sort of care equipment do you have for 700 lb. + people? How much experience, etc...) I'm very hesistant of signing one's life away to a care center before careful research, but I realize the clock is ticking here.


----------



## Mercedes

Hi Lexi,

I just saw this thead and thought I'd post a link to it here just in case you missed it and maybe it interests you.  

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?p=217753#post217753

Wishing you all the best hun!
:bow:


----------



## Tina

I don't know either Violet or Lexi, but I think that while Violet didn't mean to hurt anyone, when it is a situation where someone is in such dire straits, one must take extra care to communicate in ways that don't hurt or insult. I do think that Violet was trying to help, and disagreement and judgement are two different things, but depending upon the style of communication, they can often sound the same. In any case, discussing culpability and blame does nothing to help the present, but can only be lessons for the future.

Lexi, I hope you are able to get the help you need, and then can take steps to work towards having a fuller life again, where you feel more healthy and happy.


----------



## Xenophon

This will make me even more unpopular with hippie fascists, but I must agree with Violet, Gypsy and the others who have emphasised personal reponsibility. It's abominable that the board should try to brow-beat members into a particular brand of 'compassion' which elides culpability, or even denies it completely. I've observed the same phenomenon in Hyde Park. ("Are your moral sentiments functioning as they should ? When did you last shed a tear ?")
It is impossible to be hyper-sized and healthy. One should know this going in, and not complain about it afterwards. My girlfriend is losing weight for health reasons, and is feeling better even after a relatively small loss. If she had elected to remain over 300 lb, she would not have been entitled to bitch about things that come with the territory: backache, etc. Don't complain about what you don't have to put up with. Life is a series of trade-offs. Make your choice and be stoic.


----------



## TraciJo67

Xenophon said:


> This will make me even more unpopular with hippie fascists, but I must agree with Violet, Gypsy and the others who have emphasised personal reponsibility. It's abominable that the board should try to brow-beat members into a particular brand of 'compassion' which elides culpability, or even denies it completely. I've observed the same phenomenon in Hyde Park. ("Are your moral sentiments functioning as they should ? When did you last shed a tear ?")
> It is impossible to be hyper-sized and healthy. One should know this going in, and not complain about it afterwards. My girlfriend is losing weight for health reasons, and is feeling better even after a relatively small loss. If she had elected to remain over 300 lb, she would not have been entitled to bitch about things that come with the territory: backache, etc. Don't complain about what you don't have to put up with. Life is a series of trade-offs. Make your choice and be stoic.



Emphasizing personal responsibility does NOT need to be mutually exclusive with compassion and understanding. The latter is sorely lacking in this smug, holier-than-thou diatribe.


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## Tina

I agree, Traci. X, let's just hope your g/f doesn't have a series of injuries, after which each is followed by weight gain no matter what she does. That happened to me, until I was almost unable to walk and just over 450 lbs. I've lost some weight and it has really made a difference, but I am aware that another series of injuries, or my body deciding to go haywire, could set me back worse than where I was before.

It is truly fortunate for you that you are able to speak from a position of sheer ignorance.


----------



## moonvine

Xenophon said:


> It is impossible to be hyper-sized and healthy. One should know this going in, and not complain about it afterwards. My girlfriend is losing weight for health reasons, and is feeling better even after a relatively small loss. If she had elected to remain over 300 lb, she would not have been entitled to bitch about things that come with the territory: backache, etc. Don't complain about what you don't have to put up with. Life is a series of trade-offs. Make your choice and be stoic.



Sigh. No, it is not impossible. I am over 300 and healthy as the proverbial horse. I don't suffer from backache or any other kind of ache, other than the occasional headache brought on by seeing posts like this *on a fat acceptance board.* (I'm used to seeing them in other places).


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Xenophon said:


> This will make me even more unpopular with hippie fascists



That opening line was supposed to leave people open to reading your post how? I've never understood the need for name calling and I see it around here more than I do in my day to day life. Really sad...


----------



## activistfatgirl

I think a lot of us (especially those of us over 300 lbs--which is the majority of Dimensions) will be upset by Xenophon's post, including myself), but maybe we should try to refocus and not spend the next 20 arguing with him. Let's ignore and move on.


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## crazygrad

As a card carryong member of the Tie Dyed Hippie Fascists of America, 
:doh: :doh: 

And now, another suggestion for Lexi:

Lexi, I know you're trying ideas of intervention and possible relocation to a nursing/hospital setting but in the event that those avenues don't work, do you live in an area with a teaching hospital or medical school? If so, you might want to contact someone in their clinical education program and talk with them about being a teachong case. I'm not saying that you should settle for substandard care, teachiong cases are usually very well supervised and you might even get far more attention that you might otherwise. You could get a resident, an attending, another doctor even higher up the food chgain and some med students (usually in the last year) following you and your case. Not only might you be able to some care and follow up (which it sounds like you need), you'd be doing a great service- helping med students and drs early in their careers learn more about compassion, bedside manner and dealing with patients in excpetional circumstances. A well rounded teaching hosp/med school may even have a variety of dpeartments that could help you- nutrition, exercise, cardiology, endocrinology, etc.

Worth a shot or at least a phone call.


----------



## Paul Fannin

Lexi, I am Paul Fannin. May I weigh in on the situation? I do so in open so that my Dimensions friends (and I consider ALL of them as friends) may see my point of view and somehow coordinate a relief effort. No one should walk alone in times of distress. "Oh that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart....But behold, I am a man, and do sin in my wish; for I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me."

It is in that spirit that I offer these words.

First, to address your financial needs I would suggest a coordinated effort among Dimensions lovers, to collect and forward any money donations to you directly, for the purpose of meeting your daily needs so that whatever funds you already have on hand can be used for larger purposes. The person designated to handle these funds should be someone of integrity beyond reproach. 

Second, clearly and concisely evaluate the larger needs you have; such as health and comfort and mobility aides, and their approximate cost so that possible donations can meet or allay those costs. 

Third, does someone at Dimensions know and can contact Dr. Moe Lerner?

Fourth, specifically related to your daily needs: is there anything of entertainment value that would help you emotionally? Personally, I love popular music and can't live without it. A cache of store bought CD's or Pauly's homemade ones might help. Also to the extent that you are able, visit the chatroom. It is unadulterated fun, if not downright whacky! 

Fifth, (and please take this in the spirit intended) I was distressed to read that your husband is burning out with your constant care. I hope that was just hyperbole. But if it isn't, then you or someone needs to rekindle his fire. Next to you yourself, he is the indispensable ingredient for you to recover your health, well-being, and comfort.

I extend my hand of goodwill. I'll pray for you.

Love, 

Pauly


----------



## Lexi

crazygrad said:


> As a card carryong member of the Tie Dyed Hippie Fascists of America,
> :doh: :doh:
> 
> And now, another suggestion for Lexi:
> 
> Lexi, I know you're trying ideas of intervention and possible relocation to a nursing/hospital setting but in the event that those avenues don't work, do you live in an area with a teaching hospital or medical school? If so, you want to contact someone in their clinical education program and talk with them about being a teachong case. I'm not saying that you should settle for substandard care, teachiong cases are usually very well supervised and you might even get far more attention that you might otherwise. You could get a resident, an attending, another doctor even higher up the food chgain and some med students (usually in the last year) following you and your case. Not only might you be able to some care and follow up (which it sounds like you need), you'd be doing a great service- helping med students and drs early in their careers learn more about compassion, bedside manner and dealing with patients in excpetional circumstances. A well rounded teaching hosp/med school may even have a variety of dpeartments that could help you- nutrition, exercise, cardiology, endocrinology, etc.
> 
> Worth a shot or at least a phone call.



Well I think the nearest ones in gainsville about 3 hours from herer.Its worth a try though.I might just be an interesting enough case for them to send someone to see me. I love this networking. Such great ideas 
Thanks for tossing that in.

Lexi


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## JoyJoy

Like others, the tone of some of these posts have sickened me. I feel sure that underneath somewhere, they were well meant, but while reading, I kept getting the feeling that I wasn't on Dimensions anymore, but on some other non-acceptance site. I hope this thread has made people stop and think about not only Lexi, but put a mirror on themselves, as well. Not just regarding weight-related issues, but qualities such as compassion, and the ability to censor ones words before presenting them so that they don't appear judgmental, if that is not what one intends to convey. I know how judgmental and touchy people can get when money is involved, but this is certainly bigger than giving a few dollars. This is a major reason that we're all here: to help each other out in ways that we couldn't easily find elsewhere. 

That being said, I love the suggestion of members of this community sending out letters on Lexi's behalf. In case anyone needs them, I've posted links below for contact info on Richard Simmons, Dr. Phil and Oprah. Perhaps we can all make a difference if we stick together in helping one of our own. For those who don't feel confident in their writing ability, perhaps someone could write a template that could be sent out and adusted as needed for individuals? I'd think that the more we could send, the better the chances of getting someone's attention and getting the help Lexi needs. 

http://www.richardsimmons.com/write_richard.php

http://drphil.com/plugger/respond/?plugID=9164

http://talkshows.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=talkshows&zu=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.oprah.com

*Lexi, *

*I admire you for the grace you've exhibited here and the bravery you've shown by posting here. I can't imagine what you're going through, but the fact that you're taking steps to improve your life shows your strength. I'm glad to be able to help in whatever way I can. *

*Foosh, *

*What a fabulous friend you are. Lexi is lucky to have you in her corner! *


----------



## Lexi

JoyJoy said:


> Like others, the tone of some of these posts have sickened me. I feel sure that underneath somewhere, they were well meant, but while reading, I kept getting the feeling that I wasn't on Dimensions anymore, but on some other non-acceptance site. I hope this thread has made people stop and think about not only Lexi, but put a mirror on themselves, as well. Not just regarding weight-related issues, but qualities such as compassion, and the ability to censor ones words before presenting them so that they don't appear judgmental, if that is not what one intends to convey. I know how judgmental and touchy people can get when money is involved, but this is certainly bigger than giving a few dollars. This is a major reason that we're all here: to help each other out in ways that we couldn't easily find elsewhere.
> 
> That being said, I love the suggestion of members of this community sending out letters on Lexi's behalf. In case anyone needs them, I've posted links below for contact info on Richard Simmons, Dr. Phil and Oprah. Perhaps we can all make a difference if we stick together in helping one of our own. For those who don't feel confident in their writing ability, perhaps someone could write a template that could be sent out and adusted as needed for individuals? I'd think that the more we could send, the better the chances of getting someone's attention and getting the help Lexi needs.
> 
> http://www.richardsimmons.com/write_richard.php
> 
> http://drphil.com/plugger/respond/?plugID=9164
> 
> http://talkshows.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=talkshows&zu=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.oprah.com
> 
> *Lexi, *
> 
> *I admire you for the grace you've exhibited here and the bravery you've shown by posting here. I can't imagine what you're going through, but the fact that you're taking steps to improve your life shows your strength. I'm glad to be able to help in whatever way I can. *
> 
> *Foosh, *
> 
> *What a fabulous friend you are. Lexi is lucky to have you in her corner! *




Yes, Anyone that wants to write on my behalf to the shows is more then welcome to.It would be appreciated. Might be a good idea to run a template letter by me so that the situation that is described to them is accurate.There is strength in numbers.Someone today also suggested to write t some of the shows that come in and redo your room.Perhaps they'd take on a handicap project and the bed could be a part of it.I figure it is worth a try. A question unasked is also unanswered.

I agree with you Foosh is one in a million.


----------



## Spanky

PrettyFatGirl4U said:


> Yes, I too hope that many have supported Lexi in their own private fashion TFG but I find it very interesting that here is a post almost 250 strong mainly by the *women* of this board. If the women feel comfortable speaking out, again I must ask, where are the men?


 
I don't want to take away the focus on Lexi and her situation, but as one (and only one man's opinion) this thread has been one of the most intense I have ever seen. I have lurked for over ten years and been communicating for a few weeks. I have to admit, the topic is over my head because it is about a SSBBW with significant medical problems that are overwhelming. 1) obviously, I am not a woman, BBW or SSBBW, 2) do not know Lexi at all, 3) when a majority of women are this intense AND IT HAS BEEN INTENSE, and have a close relationship by being women or BBW or SSBBW, I think men tend to shy away and simply let it play out. At least this man does. The men who could offer their advice, did, and most others seem to be waiting it out. The women responding here have deep insight and solid information and help. It isn't just sympathy, it is also real empathy as other BBW and SSBBW. Fine, it is being worked through, refined, and focused. When there is a safe way posted to donate, I will, anonymously. 

The whole thing has given me significant pause about weight, the beauty of BBWs and how it plays into overall health. I am thinking about Lexi in my own anonymous way, I bet a lot of men and women not adding to this thread are. I just want to see her situation improve as soon as possible. I can't offer advice. I have none. Safe and secure donation, yes. 

Just one man's opinion, and I think I have learned when it is better to shut up and listen (read) and learn. Obviously, I already broke that here....<fading back into the background>


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## PrettyFatGirl4U

Spanky said:


> I don't want to take away the focus on Lexi and her situation, but as one (and only one man's opinion) this thread has been one of the most intense I have ever seen. I have lurked for over ten years and been communicating for a few weeks. I have to admit, the topic is over my head because it is about a SSBBW with significant medical problems that are overwhelming. 1) obviously, I am not a woman, BBW or SSBBW, 2) do not know Lexi at all, 3) when a majority of women are this intense AND IT HAS BEEN INTENSE, and have a close relationship by being women or BBW or SSBBW, I think men tend to shy away and simply let it play out. At least this man does. The men who could offer their advice, did, and most others seem to be waiting it out. The women responding here have deep insight and solid information and help. It isn't just sympathy, it is also real empathy as other BBW and SSBBW. Fine, it is being worked through, refined, and focused. When there is a safe way posted to donate, I will, anonymously.
> 
> The whole thing has given me significant pause about weight, the beauty of BBWs and how it plays into overall health. I am thinking about Lexi in my own anonymous way, I bet a lot of men and women not adding to this thread are. I just want to see her situation improve as soon as possible. I can't offer advice. I have none. Safe and secure donation, yes.
> 
> Just one man's opinion, and I think I have learned when it is better to shut up and listen (read) and learn. Obviously, I already broke that here....<fading back into the background>




Thank you for posting this Spanky! 

When I've asked where the Dimension's men were in all this I wasn't necessarily expecting some man to step in and save the day! Nor do I expect the men to understand from a first party perspective, what being a BBW/SSBBW/W OF ANY KIND ACTUALLY is like but I found *glaringly* absent a simple "sending good thoughts your way" kind of sentiment of support from the majority of men who frequent this forum.

When a woman posts a new pic there are many cries of "great pic -you're hot!" and 1000's of views of her post but when she's in trouble, there's a deafening silence. Empathy should know no gender and it's disheartening to see the lack of male "participation" in a thread over 250 posts strong and a "community" that professes support and acceptance.


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## jeannieo

Crazygrad - EXCELLENT idea about a teaching hospital! I mentioned before that I went to Mass General and received top notch care - which is, by the way, a teaching hospital of Harvard Medical School. There were times they actually brought in residents, student nurses - all under the supervision of the top doctors - to learn how to talk to, interview, get a case history on, and, yes, examine, an obese person. They always asked - and I was always willing to oblige thinking that perhaps at some point it will help the next 660lb person coming down the pike. I never received sub-standard care.

There's usually a reason a hospital is a teaching hospital. I only wish Lexi lived closer to one. But hey - at least it's closer than Mass


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## Spanky

Point well taken, PFG4U!

With 10,700 views, someone is following this story. At 50 cents per view, hmmm, that would be a lot of money....


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## Xenophon

PrettyFatGirl4U said:


> WHERE are all the Dimensions MEN??? Conrad? Ned? All the rest of the 1000's that view the paysite boards every single day??



Here, telling unpalatable truths. I sometimes think that has been my role in life from a young age.



> I may not agree with Lexi's choices, hell I may not agree with anyone's



I didn't agree with George Best's 'choices', and was consequently annoyed when he got a new liver ahead of more deserving cases. You can't live a certain way and then not expect the logical results. Yet, people do it all the time, as if there were no relation between actions and consequences. D'oh ! :doh:

EDIT: I'd better add that I have equally little sympathy (or less) for anorexics, cutters etc.


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## TheSadeianLinguist

Xenophon said:


> This will make me even more unpopular with hippie fascists, but I must agree with Violet, Gypsy and the others who have emphasised personal reponsibility. It's abominable that the board should try to brow-beat members into a particular brand of 'compassion' which elides culpability, or even denies it completely. I've observed the same phenomenon in Hyde Park. ("Are your moral sentiments functioning as they should ? When did you last shed a tear ?")
> It is impossible to be hyper-sized and healthy. One should know this going in, and not complain about it afterwards. My girlfriend is losing weight for health reasons, and is feeling better even after a relatively small loss. If she had elected to remain over 300 lb, she would not have been entitled to bitch about things that come with the territory: backache, etc. Don't complain about what you don't have to put up with. Life is a series of trade-offs. Make your choice and be stoic.



Did Lexi majorly fuck up at some point? Probably.

We all know we should be eating better, exercising 3x a week, etc. While I'm not making excuses for her, I fully support her changing her life. Facts are facts; damn few people know how to help really supersized people. Most of them aren't even sure how to help themselves. 

That, and it's a lot easier to be kind in this situation, at least for myself. Anyone who actively wants to change deserves support in my book.


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## swordchick

The Dimensions Forums isn't for anorexics, nor cutters. It's for fat people and their admirers. This is supposed to be a place where we can go and not be judge by our fat, no matter if you are 250 lbs. or 700 lbs. This thread was about Lexi, but some people had to make it about themselves. While some might think it is okay to judge Lexi, to make themselves feel better, you will have to deal with being judged as well!

Lexi, you are a wonderful person. Thank you for sharing your life. I hope the best for you.


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## elle camino

i've been keeping up with this thread for a couple of days now, and formulating something of a response. unfortunately, it's shaped up to be less of a response to lexi's situation and how to help, and more of a response to the course the thread itself has taken. so i'm sorry in advance for contributing to the derailment. 
that being said, as a greenhorn in this little community, i am finding it interesting to see how matters like this are dealt with. on another board i post on (a very small, tight knit local punx board that has less to do with music and more to do with nothing and everything all at once), we recently had a somewhat similar situation take place - a kid died in a really tragic accident, and a few of the other people on the board took up a collection to cover what funeral expenses we could for his family. in the thread where the discussion of this took place, the comments were as varied as the posters themselves. some people were overwhelmed with grief, some people were indifferent, some people questioned why donations were necessary, some people were indignant and pissy about the death even being discussed on the board. 
essentially, it was the same deal as this thread: multiple people confronted with deciding how best to help someone else, on a messageboard. there were flare-ups and disagreements (obviously), but it never devolved into this multi-page back and forth. only those who felt like donating did so, and those who felt differently were allowed to speak their minds. and ultimately, we raised over two grand for the family. the point being: the disparities in opinion did not preclude positive actions or sentiments.
i feel like although the average age of that board is signifigantly lower than here, there's a lot more tolerance of differing opinions over there. i mean, if i read the OP correctly, this thread was started in an effort to help lexi. period. suggestions were welcome, and that was the long and short of it. and people poured forth to offer their points of view. that, to me, is the true value of a messageboard. lots and lots of differing input on whatever topic is presented. so at what point was it decided that one type of input is acceptable and another isn't? BCV and others have stated their points of view, just like everyone else. disagreeing and discussing like adults is fine, but to absolutely refuse to tolerate differences in opinion is not only futile, it negates what's valuable about discussing this on a messageboard in the first place - the fact that _all kinds_ of viewpoints will be presented, not just one homogenous sentiment.
just my two cents. 

i sincerely hope for the best for lexi and her family, and were i able to donate i absolutely would. moreover i'm glad that she seems to be taking the suggestions she's getting, both popular and controversial, graciously and to heart.


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## Xenophon

elle camino said:


> BCV and others have stated their points of view, just like everyone else. disagreeing and discussing like adults is fine, but to absolutely refuse to tolerate differences in opinion is not only futile, it negates what's valuable about discussing this on a messageboard in the first place - the fact that _all kinds_ of viewpoints will be presented, not just one homogenous sentiment.



Indeed, and what a _lot_ of sentiment. This forum is rather conformist, and enforces the ideological line stringently. Dissent is not formally abolished, per se, but non-conformists are called all sorts of names like 'uncaring', 'selfish', 'judgemental', etc. 
(To which I reply, "Yes"  )


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## Emma

Xenophon said:


> Indeed, and what a _lot_ of sentiment. This forum is rather conformist, and enforces the ideological line stringently. Dissent is not formally abolished, per se, but non-conformists are called all sorts of names like 'uncaring', 'selfish', 'judgemental', etc.
> (To which I reply, "Yes"  )



What makes you think you're so much better than everyone else?


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## fatlane

Xenophon said:


> Indeed, and what a _lot_ of sentiment. This forum is rather conformist, and enforces the ideological line stringently. Dissent is not formally abolished, per se, but non-conformists are called all sorts of names like 'uncaring', 'selfish', 'judgemental', etc.
> (To which I reply, "Yes"  )



What are you getting out of saying this stuff? What is your purpose in saying this stuff? 

I think you've confused being a "non-conformist" with being an "asshole". And I mean that in an objective sense, not in a judgmental way. This reaction isn't political correctness or strangling dissent. It's an honest assessment of what you've offered thus far. There are ways to be honest without being harsh, cruel, or insulting, but you haven't seem to have found them yet.

Now if you've got any emotional maturity whatsoever, you'll just mutter a few curses under your breath and ignore this thread. You'll move on. If you've got some sick need to kick a person when she's down, then you'll come right on back and claim you're defending your freedom or some crap like that to serve as a passive-aggressive smokescreen for your continued jabs at someone who has had a bout of misfortune.

Seriously, why don't you pick on someone your own size? Hm?

_(This has now become the "argue about whether or not you should be nice to a fat person who's having health problems" thread. I suggest setting up a new thread for actually dealing with Lexi's issues in a non-judgmental way. Someone is about to accuse someone else of behaving like Hitler, and we don't need that on a supportive thread.)_


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## Jane

Xenophon said:


> Indeed, and what a _lot_ of sentiment. This forum is rather conformist, and enforces the ideological line stringently. Dissent is not formally abolished, per se, but non-conformists are called all sorts of names like 'uncaring', 'selfish', 'judgemental', etc.
> (To which I reply, "Yes"  )


Huh, imagine that, what with Conrad advocating size acceptance and whatall.


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## swordchick

fatlane said:


> What are you getting out of saying this stuff? What is your purpose in saying this stuff?
> 
> I think you've confused being a "non-conformist" with being an "asshole". And I mean that in an objective sense, not in a judgmental way. This reaction isn't political correctness or strangling dissent. It's an honest assessment of what you've offered thus far. There are ways to be honest without being harsh, cruel, or insulting, but you haven't seem to have found them yet.
> 
> Now if you've got any emotional maturity whatsoever, you'll just mutter a few curses under your breath and ignore this thread. You'll move on. If you've got some sick need to kick a person when she's down, then you'll come right on back and claim you're defending your freedom or some crap like that to serve as a passive-aggressive smokescreen for your continued jabs at someone who has had a bout of misfortune.
> 
> Seriously, why don't you pick on someone your own size? Hm?
> 
> _(This has now become the "argue about whether or not you should be nice to a fat person who's having health problems" thread. I suggest setting up a new thread for actually dealing with Lexi's issues in a non-judgmental way. Someone is about to accuse someone else of behaving like Hitler, and we don't need that on a supportive thread.)_


 
Right now, I wish I could hug you.


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## Xenophon

fatlane said:


> Now if you've got any emotional maturity whatsoever, you'll just mutter a few curses under your breath and ignore this thread.[/I]



As you wish. I'll go and watch talking cats over at YouTube.
(Curses, etc.)


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## Mercedes

(Edit - it would really be appropriate if guys wanting to argue with each other do so in a separate thread... Otherwise I think it's best for the mods to just delete offensive posts. jmho I think this thread should be kept for giving Lexi support, whether financial or moral support, it's useless crying over what she might have done or what she should have done in the past. Now is the present day and as friends we should only be seeking to give the best support we can for one of our own!)

Hi Lexi, how are you? I hope you're feeling at least a bit better today and that each day goes on to be better than the one before.

I admit I've been thinking a lot about you and praying for you.

I've also been researching the web, for some of the best possible options.

Now this is just my opinion and I might not be giving the correct advice since I'm not large myself and have never taken care of large people but I've read a lot about this and I'm nearly sure I'm not speaking rubbish...

I was of the opinion that you should look into the future. I'm not saying that you are not doing so, far from it! But a comfortable bed which is easy to get in and out of would be a good thing... for the present. But what will be the situation within a year or two if you just get the bed? I'm sure that your long term goal would be to regain mobility - even limited mobility like being able to get in and out of bed alone, and things like using the bathroom would be very desirable.

So this was my idea - rather than opting for the bed why not buy a good quality hoist?

It's not cheap I know, it'd be between $4000 and $5000, but it will not only help you get in and out of bed easily (same like the bed) but it will help you do a ton of other things as well. And that would be the main advantage.

Another thing I would consider would be buying a pool. I do not mean building an in-ground pool, but purchasing one of the intex type above ground ones. They come in depths of 36" up to 52", and the round ones are available in a diameter of 15' and probably they have smaller ones. That way even if you don't have much space where you live, you can still have it installed since they can easily be put in a normal room!

And the hoist can be used to get you in and out of bed.... and into the pool!

Why do I mention the pool? 

First of all I have one myself so I know what I'm talking about.

Secondly they're quite cheap for a pool - some $800 or less would buy you a good sized one, and the smaller come cheaper.

Thirdly, because of the mobility issue.

Trying to regain mobility is hard. It's easy to stay in bed, and in bed there's not much exercise one can do for the legs. And the more one stays in bed the more the leg muscles atrophy and the harder it will be to walk, even if weight is lost. That explains my fear of you buying the bed. What will be happening after 6 months... after one year?

I had one of my legs in plaster for 3 months - after the plaster was removed I couldn't walk without crutches for a further month. Even though I hadn't been bedridden... It was just because the muscles were atrophied. I looked weird, because my atrophied leg was really skinny... But anyway that was so that I give an example.

Water exercise is the best thing you can do. All aches and pains vanish when one is in the water. And I understand that it would be difficult to have transportation to a pool and there would be the ladder difficulty... Hence I recommend this pool plus the hoist to get you in and to help you get in and out of bed.

As soon as you enter the water, all pressure points would be relieved. The water will support most of your weight and you'll be free to kick around and exercise your arms and legs - hence building the muscles indispensible for mobility. And I think there's nothing else capable of giving you good leg muscle workout and leg building strength other than a pool.

The advantage of above ground pools is that they are not deep and so you'll always be able to rest your feet on the bottom, or you can rest by holding to the side of the pool, or just by holding onto something that floats. 

At the same time the exercise will not only burn calories and help you get back to the weight you were when you were mobile but it will also kick your metabolism into working at a faster rate.

Then hopefully as your leg muscles get stronger thanks to the water exercise you might not even be needing the hoist anymore (certainly not for getting in and out of bed) and you could sell it to somebody else hence getting most of your money back!  

It is you who knows what would ultimately be the best for yourself, for the future and my wish is not to influence your judgement. But you're still young and you're a strong girl. I'm sure that with some determination you will do it! I would really like you to give a thought for my opinion though.

Email or pm me if you need some moral support or anything else where I could help!
Much love,
Mercedes :bow:


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## Theatrmuse/Kara

Mercedes............great post with positive suggestions concerning the water walking.........Lexi, I look forward to hearing that you will soon be able to do this kind of thing. I LOVE the water and feel soooooo free while in it. I wish this for you when you are able!!!!!!!!!

Just thinking of ya, Lexi and sending good thoughts your way!

AND there is NOTHING like a good nite's sleep to enable a person to tackle what comes your way in the morning..........for ALL of us! 
Hugs, Kara


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## TheSadeianLinguist

The water walking IS a great idea. Wow.


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## Donna

It is obvious from the descriptions of your ordeal, Lexi, that you have suffered gross negligence on the part of your local medical community. It is truly a shame that in a metroplolis the size of Orange County Florida (one of the bigger counties in this state), you would receive such inadequate care. Not to say it's excusable in a rural community, but in a large county like Orange it is truly outrageous. 

I am surpsised you got no response from our Lt Governer. Her office is historically very good about getting involved when there is a major injustice.

I suggest you contact your lawyer (if you haven't already) ASAP and have him file legal papers on your behalf, siting the statutes set forth in both HIPAA and the ADA acts as it appears *BOTH* have been violated. Any trial attorney worth his salt will have medical and governmental resources at hand to assist you as well with your immediate needs as well as your long term needs. (You mention you have a portfolio of information on your issue, that should make the process that much easier since you have gathered facts/records, etc before hand.) If your attorney refuses or doesn't do as you act, please consult this SITE for an attorney who will.

ALso, I did some research in Orange County and found the following fat friendly doctor in Orange County:
ORLANDO
Elizabeth Heil, Internist, 521 Hwy. 434, Longwood FL (near Orlando)

Also, I found these resources during my research and thought they might be of help:

Tips on Obtainining Good Health Care

Weight Discrimination and Legal Resources


Please keep us posted of your legal journey, it invariably effects us all.


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## Mercedes

Thank you everyone for thinking that I came up with a good idea.  

Lexi, as per my last post I give you a link here:

http://www.intexstore.com/shop/shopdisplaysubcat.asp?id=1&cat=Above+Ground+Pools&menutab=accessories

The smallest above ground pool is 30" deep and 8' in diameter.

They go up to 52" deep and 24' in diameter.

I have one myself - it's 18' diameter and 52" deep.

Depending on the place you would want to have it installed you might be considering the sizes available. Just pm me if you need any help or info!

(btw I don't have commercial interest - if you google 'above ground pools' you'd get a plethora of sites - I can recommend the pool 'I' have though...)


----------



## Donna

I was waiting for a call back from their therapist before providing this resource, but since aqua therapy has been brought up....

Orlando Regional Healthcare offers an aqua therapy class, ran by a licesensed therapist at the YMCA pool. I called this morning and the secretary I spoke with said they indeed could handle and help a patient of Lexi's size with her her health concerns. For appointments, questions or information on fees and insurance coverage, call 407 647-6888 or 407 237-6375.


----------



## Lexi

Donnaalicious said:


> It is obvious from the descriptions of your ordeal, Lexi, that you have suffered gross negligence on the part of your local medical community. It is truly a shame that in a metroplolis the size of Orange County Florida (one of the bigger counties in this state), you would receive such inadequate care. Not to say it's excusable in a rural community, but in a large county like Orange it is truly outrageous.
> 
> I am surpsised you got no response from our Lt Governer. Her office is historically very good about getting involved when there is a major injustice.
> 
> I suggest you contact your lawyer (if you haven't already) ASAP and have him file legal papers on your behalf, siting the statutes set forth in both HIPAA and the ADA acts as it appears *BOTH* have been violated. Any trial attorney worth his salt will have medical and governmental resources at hand to assist you as well with your immediate needs as well as your long term needs. (You mention you have a portfolio of information on your issue, that should make the process that much easier since you have gathered facts/records, etc before hand.) If your attorney refuses or doesn't do as you act, please consult this SITE for an attorney who will.
> 
> ALso, I did some research in Orange County and found the following fat friendly doctor in Orange County:
> ORLANDO
> Elizabeth Heil, Internist, 521 Hwy. 434, Longwood FL (near Orlando)
> 
> Also, I found these resources during my research and thought they might be of help:
> 
> Tips on Obtainining Good Health Care
> 
> Weight Discrimination and Legal Resources
> 
> 
> Please keep us posted of your legal journey, it invariably effects us all.



Hi Donna,

Thanks for the excellent information scouting.  Dr Hell does not see patients out of her office. She was given to me as a contact by Medifast originally. Unfortunatlly though she will only do it in her office. I called her again just now to see if by chance she would change her mind.I really do appreciate all of the info.I keep thinking somewhere there must be a Dr that will.I keep calling around everyday.


----------



## Theatrmuse/Kara

Great job. Donna!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:bow:


----------



## Mercedes

Lexi, I found this for you if you're interested:
http://www.arthurspools.com/pools/frameset.htm

The smaller ones are less than $200 and one with 3' deep water and 15' wide would be $409.99!  

*10ft x 30in**Pool Filter and Video**$179.99*
*12ft x 30in**Pool Filter and Video**$199.99*
15ft x 36inPool, Pump, Filter Cartridge, Cover, Ground Cloth, Ladder, Video and Surface Skimmer $409.99 
15ft x 42inPool, Pump, Filter Cartridge, Cover, Ground Cloth, Ladder, Video and Surface Skimmer Metal Frame$449.99
15ft x 48inPool, Pump, Filter Cartridge, Cover, Ground Cloth, Ladder, Video and Surface Skimmer $499.99
18ft x 48inPool, Pump, Filter Cartridge, Cover, Ground Cloth, Ladder, Video and Surface Skimmer $849.99
18ft x 52inAuto Chlorinator Pool, Pump, Filter Cartridge, Cover, Ground Cloth, Ladder, Video and Surface Skimmer $1299.99
24ft x 52inPool, Pump, Filter Cartridge, Cover, Ground Cloth, Ladder, Video and Surface Skimmer $1299.99

I also found this informative link on *bariatric hoists*. (remember you can sell it once you're mobile!) I'll be posting more if it's OK with you.

http://216.239.59.104/search?q=cache:uJB--IIoXtsJ:www.dlf.org.uk/factsheets/pdf/Choosing_Equipment_for_the_Heavier_Person.pdf+hoist+immobile+obese&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=3


----------



## Lexi

Donnaalicious said:


> I was waiting for a call back from their therapist before providing this resource, but since aqua therapy has been brought up....
> 
> Orlando Regional Healthcare offers an aqua therapy class, ran by a licesensed therapist at the YMCA pool. I called this morning and the secretary I spoke with said they indeed could handle and help a patient of Lexi's size with her her health concerns. For appointments, questions or information on fees and insurance coverage, call 407 647-6888 or 407 237-6375.




Hi Donna,

Yes they also used to do it here near my house at the Ymca.Once I get to a mobile weight that would be great. I have the same issue as I do with any other type of care outside my home I have no way to get there.I do not have a wheelchair that even fits me. I do not fit in any of the standard ones. Wheelchairs of Kansas wanted a crazy wild amount to custom design one that would hold me and move me.My shape is so odd and im so short


----------



## Donna

Lexi said:


> Hi Donna,
> 
> Thanks for the excellent information scouting.  Dr Hell does not see patients out of her office. She was given to me as a contact by Medifast originally. Unfortunatlly though she will only do it in her office. I called her again just now to see if by chance she would change her mind.I really do appreciate all of the info.I keep thinking somewhere there must be a Dr that will.I keep calling around everyday.




Ask her when you call if she can recommend another doctor who DOES do home visits. I am really having a hard time believing there is only one Orange County doctor who makes housecalls. Someone has lied to you I believe. 

I live in a much smaller county south, and over half of the doctor's in this are still do house calls.


----------



## SerraP

Lexi said:


> I keep thinking somewhere there must be a Dr that will.I keep calling around everyday.



I'm not sure if this will help you at all...I don't know anything about the counties, towns, cities, whatnot in your area...but maybe this can help.



> Visiting Physicians
> Bringing Back Old Fashioned House Calls...With Modern Medical Care
> 
> Madkaiker, Prita S., MD, Board Certified, Internal Medicine
> Goodpasture, Audrey B., MD, Board Certified, Internal Medicine
> Patel, Bhavesh, MD, Board Certified, Internal Medicine
> Board Certified, Geriatric Medicine, Board Certified, Home Care
> 435 Clark Road, suite 303, Jacksonville, 32218,...904.764.1707, 1.877.468.732.255, FAX: 904.765.0894
> You Were Referred by callaDr.net
> Serving Duval, Clay, St. Johns, Baker and Nassau counties
> Insurance Plans: Most major insurance plans accepted, please ask us when you call the office.



http://www.calladr.net/Orlando-physicians-doctors-Florida/house-calls-doctor-physician-Florida.htm#House-Call-Calls-Metro-Jacksonville-Physicians

There are also 2 bariatric physicians listed here


----------



## Jane

Donnaalicious said:


> Ask her when you call if she can recommend another doctor who DOES do home visits. I am really having a hard time believing there is only one Orange County doctor who makes housecalls. Someone has lied to you I believe.
> 
> I live in a much smaller county south, and over half of the doctor's in this are still do house calls.


If she's uncooperative, ask her for the name of the last malpractice attorney who won a suit against her.


----------



## Lexi

Donnaalicious said:


> Ask her when you call if she can recommend another doctor who DOES do home visits. I am really having a hard time believing there is only one Orange County doctor who makes housecalls. Someone has lied to you I believe.
> 
> I live in a much smaller county south, and over half of the doctor's in this are still do house calls.




I wish they did here. I have called hospital referral services,I have asked all the CNA, RN, that I encounter. I asked Florida Hospital Administrators(our biggest hospital chain ) I asked doctors I have known while my kids were growing up, friends, 211 info and referal,Jewish family services,christian family services, Tabiis, Chaplains ect. Only one other name was given to me as a home care doctor and hes in Tampa and refuses to take any new patients and only doe medicare geriatric.

So if there is a doctor out there would they PLEASE STAND UP LOL

What county are you in? Perhaps someone from there that does make them might know someone in my tri county area?
Thanks for helping brainstorm

Lexi


----------



## Mercedes

Lexi, I noticed you didn't comment whatsoever on my post... maybe you didn't see it? Maybe it was... I dunno? Well maybe since it was the last post on the page you didn't catch it?



Mercedes said:


> (Edit - it would really be appropriate if guys wanting to argue with each other do so in a separate thread... Otherwise I think it's best for the mods to just delete offensive posts. jmho I think this thread should be kept for giving Lexi support, whether financial or moral support, it's useless crying over what she might have done or what she should have done in the past. Now is the present day and as friends we should only be seeking to give the best support we can for one of our own!)
> 
> Hi Lexi, how are you? I hope you're feeling at least a bit better today and that each day goes on to be better than the one before.
> 
> I admit I've been thinking a lot about you and praying for you.
> 
> I've also been researching the web, for some of the best possible options.
> 
> Now this is just my opinion and I might not be giving the correct advice since I'm not large myself and have never taken care of large people but I've read a lot about this and I'm nearly sure I'm not speaking rubbish...
> 
> I was of the opinion that you should look into the future. I'm not saying that you are not doing so, far from it! But a comfortable bed which is easy to get in and out of would be a good thing... for the present. But what will be the situation within a year or two if you just get the bed? I'm sure that your long term goal would be to regain mobility - even limited mobility like being able to get in and out of bed alone, and things like using the bathroom would be very desirable.
> 
> So this was my idea - rather than opting for the bed why not buy a good quality hoist?
> 
> It's not cheap I know, it'd be between $4000 and $5000, but it will not only help you get in and out of bed easily (same like the bed) but it will help you do a ton of other things as well. And that would be the main advantage.
> 
> Another thing I would consider would be buying a pool. I do not mean building an in-ground pool, but purchasing one of the intex type above ground ones. They come in depths of 36" up to 52", and the round ones are available in a diameter of 15' and probably they have smaller ones. That way even if you don't have much space where you live, you can still have it installed since they can easily be put in a normal room!
> 
> And the hoist can be used to get you in and out of bed.... and into the pool!
> 
> Why do I mention the pool?
> 
> First of all I have one myself so I know what I'm talking about.
> 
> Secondly they're quite cheap for a pool - some $800 or less would buy you a good sized one, and the smaller come cheaper.
> 
> Thirdly, because of the mobility issue.
> 
> Trying to regain mobility is hard. It's easy to stay in bed, and in bed there's not much exercise one can do for the legs. And the more one stays in bed the more the leg muscles atrophy and the harder it will be to walk, even if weight is lost. That explains my fear of you buying the bed. What will be happening after 6 months... after one year?
> 
> I had one of my legs in plaster for 3 months - after the plaster was removed I couldn't walk without crutches for a further month. Even though I hadn't been bedridden... It was just because the muscles were atrophied. I looked weird, because my atrophied leg was really skinny... But anyway that was so that I give an example.
> 
> Water exercise is the best thing you can do. All aches and pains vanish when one is in the water. And I understand that it would be difficult to have transportation to a pool and there would be the ladder difficulty... Hence I recommend this pool plus the hoist to get you in and to help you get in and out of bed.
> 
> As soon as you enter the water, all pressure points would be relieved. The water will support most of your weight and you'll be free to kick around and exercise your arms and legs - hence building the muscles indispensible for mobility. And I think there's nothing else capable of giving you good leg muscle workout and leg building strength other than a pool.
> 
> The advantage of above ground pools is that they are not deep and so you'll always be able to rest your feet on the bottom, or you can rest by holding to the side of the pool, or just by holding onto something that floats.
> 
> At the same time the exercise will not only burn calories and help you get back to the weight you were when you were mobile but it will also kick your metabolism into working at a faster rate.
> 
> Then hopefully as your leg muscles get stronger thanks to the water exercise you might not even be needing the hoist anymore (certainly not for getting in and out of bed) and you could sell it to somebody else hence getting most of your money back!
> 
> It is you who knows what would ultimately be the best for yourself, for the future and my wish is not to influence your judgement. But you're still young and you're a strong girl. I'm sure that with some determination you will do it! I would really like you to give a thought for my opinion though.
> 
> Email or pm me if you need some moral support or anything else where I could help!
> Much love,
> Mercedes :bow:


----------



## Lexi

SerraP said:


> I'm not sure if this will help you at all...I don't know anything about the counties, towns, cities, whatnot in your area...but maybe this can help.
> 
> 
> 
> http://www.calladr.net/Orlando-physicians-doctors-Florida/house-calls-doctor-physician-Florida.htm#House-Call-Calls-Metro-Jacksonville-Physicians
> 
> There are also 2 bariatric physicians listed here




Thank you for the info. Jax is 5 hours away from me.
I did call the Bariatric Doctors as well. Neither of them are actually bariatric doctors. What they are is weight loss clinic.Similar to the LA diet . They both said how sorry they were they could not help but no they could not see their way to do it even for Private payment.

Definetly a good try. I think I am going to send them my photo and my brief synopsis on what I need just in case.

Thanks for the info.


----------



## Lexi

Mercedes said:


> Lexi, I noticed you didn't comment whatsoever on my post... maybe you didn't see it? Maybe it was... I dunno? Well maybe since it was the last post on the page you didn't catch it?




Hi Mercedes

Actually I have been composing a post to you in my word document and just keep getting sidetracked.So I answered some of the smaller easier ones since I made the phone calls to the dr's right when i saw them come through.

The pool was something we were considering as a future plan if we could get the emergency stuff stabilzed. We are trying to figure out the bed situation and a more realistic way for me to bypass the fact that i no longer have a catheter in and I still am not able to get up to a bathroom more then once a day. Shoving things underneath me is starting to damage peoples hands and backs. Especially since Ciar already has a bad back. The only saving grace on it is this beds broken and its bending so he can push it down to shove under me.

The pool is a great idea. Even my physical therapist has always thought that would be my best option.The hoist though might be a problem. They were never successful pulling me up with a hoyer in the hospital.It always dropped me.

Do you have any details on the one you are talking about?

Thanks for all your help.
Lexi


----------



## Mercedes

Thanks for taking the time to reply Lexi  

I haven't done much research on hoists, but I found that the best ones in the situations would be those which are attached to the roof, the bariatric ones.

Such as the picture which is shown in the link here - it supports 980lbs but is quite expensive. http://www.hsccltd.co.uk/obesepatient.asp

The other one which is $4160 supports 588 lbs........

However I will be browsing just in case I find cheaper but still high quality alternatives.

I'm confident that you will be surpassing this obstacle and would be needing the hoist only temporarily. That way you will be able to sell it and get most of the money back when you're mobile again.

Hugs and prayers.

[Edit: It's outrageous that these hoists cost so much. I'm in the automotive industry and heck a hoist for a 2 ton car costs the same price... It's not just! I'm determined to find out if there are hoists which go for a better price....]


----------



## Lexi

Paul Fannin said:


> Lexi, I am Paul Fannin. May I weigh in on the situation? I do so in open so that my Dimensions friends (and I consider ALL of them as friends) may see my point of view and somehow coordinate a relief effort. No one should walk alone in times of distress. "Oh that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart....But behold, I am a man, and do sin in my wish; for I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me."
> 
> It is in that spirit that I offer these words.
> 
> First, to address your financial needs I would suggest a coordinated effort among Dimensions lovers, to collect and forward any money donations to you directly, for the purpose of meeting your daily needs so that whatever funds you already have on hand can be used for larger purposes. The person designated to handle these funds should be someone of integrity beyond reproach.
> 
> Second, clearly and concisely evaluate the larger needs you have; such as health and comfort and mobility aides, and their approximate cost so that possible donations can meet or allay those costs.
> 
> Third, does someone at Dimensions know and can contact Dr. Moe Lerner?
> 
> Fourth, specifically related to your daily needs: is there anything of entertainment value that would help you emotionally? Personally, I love popular music and can't live without it. A cache of store bought CD's or Pauly's homemade ones might help. Also to the extent that you are able, visit the chatroom. It is unadulterated fun, if not downright whacky!
> 
> Fifth, (and please take this in the spirit intended) I was distressed to read that your husband is burning out with your constant care. I hope that was just hyperbole. But if it isn't, then you or someone needs to rekindle his fire. Next to you yourself, he is the indispensable ingredient for you to recover your health, well-being, and comfort.
> 
> I extend my hand of goodwill. I'll pray for you.
> 
> Love,
> 
> Pauly




Thanks Pauly

I appreciate your lovely message. It brought a smile to me. Actually I am sitting here listening to one of my favorite dingers Bjork. Though my tastes are eclectic and go all over the board from Rock to Rap. Some of my favorites are Aerosmith, Usher,Andrea Bocelli,70's & 80's music all types,Native American Music as you can tell it varies lol It does lift my spirits though to listen to it.
I appreciate your response. I do need to evaluate what my Major needs are and. I need to design a lomg range plan.

Yes my husband been burnt out for a while. 
Hard not to happen after months of 24/7 care and getting woken up every few hours to help me.Hes hanging in there so far.


----------



## weetabix

Dear Lexi,

That's what people say when you're ill, "Get well soon". In your case I can appreciate the urgency of making some progress soon! I am appalled but not surprized at how incompetant the health staff were. You really do need some extra practical help. 

The range of skills and expertise of your fans must be quite phenominal. It's been mentioned that there could be Doctors, but I bet there are Lawyers, Builders, Engineers and Mechanics. Not forgeting all the contacts people have.

Lets face it, any of us could end up in need of help, especially those living with or as Super Sized people. It may not be possible for everyone to help in a practical way, but let us all at least train our thoughts to ways each of us may help you. 

I believe in the golden rule, help others as you would like them to help you. I think you must be due of a return on your investment 

I really do trust you will get well soon.

Regards,
Weetabix.


----------



## Mercedes

Lexi said:


> Hi Mercedes
> 
> a more realistic way for me to bypass the fact that i no longer have a catheter in and I still am not able to get up to a bathroom more then once a day.


 
Lexi, that's the point I have in my mind. 

So you're still at the hospital, WITHOUT a catheter... and they're not letting you to the bathroom more than once a day???

Well for me that's downright cruel and no way to treat a human being.

*It's far better to be at one's own home with the help of husband and friends... rather than in that humiliating situation.*

I mean, why should you be sitting on diapers if with just a little help you'd be able to do everything by yourself?

Lexi... why are you being kept in hospital? I'm sooo sure you'd be faring better if you go home and do things as you thing would be the best for you to do!

I read all your journals in www.fantasy.net......

Wouldn' it be better to be comfortable at home rather than at the whim of nurses and doctors? At home you can have your oxygen when you feel like it, you'd be able to exercise whenever you feel like it.... and probably the distance to the bathroom would be shorter and you'd have more help as well.

With all due respect to nurses and docs... they are just doing their own job. And at 10PM pr 12PM their job finishes and it passes on to someone else....... only to have it back the next morning or the following.

Why be the whim of all that?

Stand up for it, literally, and try to achieve all that is in your power legally and hopefullly you'll be getting the best treatment possible for the wonderful person you are. xxx

Hugs


----------



## Miss Vickie

She's at home, Mercedes. And as a nurse let me assure you that should any patient of mine need assistance to use the bathroom, she would have it, regardless of how many times it was needed.


----------



## Lexi

Mercedes said:


> Lexi, that's the point I have in my mind.
> 
> So you're still at the hospital, WITHOUT a catheter... and they're not letting you to the bathroom more than once a day???
> 
> Well for me that's downright cruel and no way to treat a human being.
> 
> *It's far better to be at one's own home with the help of husband and friends... rather than in that humiliating situation.*
> 
> I mean, why should you be sitting on diapers if with just a little help you'd be able to do everything by yourself?
> 
> Lexi... why are you being kept in hospital? I'm sooo sure you'd be faring better if you go home and do things as you thing would be the best for you to do!
> 
> I read all your journals in www.fantasy.net......
> 
> Wouldn' it be better to be comfortable at home rather than at the whim of nurses and doctors? At home you can have your oxygen when you feel like it, you'd be able to exercise whenever you feel like it.... and probably the distance to the bathroom would be shorter and you'd have more help as well.
> 
> With all due respect to nurses and docs... they are just doing their own job. And at 10PM pr 12PM their job finishes and it passes on to someone else....... only to have it back the next morning or the following.
> 
> Why be the whim of all that?
> 
> Stand up for it, literally, and try to achieve all that is in your power legally and hopefullly you'll be getting the best treatment possible for the wonderful person you are. xxx
> 
> Hugs



Mercedes

I think you misread t his. I am at home.They had originally sent me home on a catheter but I had so much trouble getting it to flow with my big belly occluding the tube they refused t keep it in.So that left only the other option. Trust me I HATE it.I just cant seem to get anything to work.Fat Supersize Ladies my size can not use a brdpan even though every nurse tells me its all in my head and REALLY I could. NOPE REALLY i can't. I am not agile and i can not fly up and land back down on it.If I could Id fly to the bathroom LOL

I was only in the hospital a few days back in December because they evicted me and said Medicaid refused to pay for more then 3 days of care sick or not. Great medical care system huh


----------



## Mercedes

Lexi I'm sorry I misread it.

Maybe that's why the hoist might be of benefit.

You've been bedbound only very temporary. I read your entire journal ... you spoke of being housebound but only rarely really bedbound if I got it right.

I really pray that this might be the shortest period of time for which you are bedbound.

And I'm really glad you are at home. Though I'm sure that had you been a citizen here life would have been so much easier!!!

My partner had issues too (pancreatitis- not caused by alcohol and not cased by illegal drugs or any other thing) of an unknown cause - he definitely was more comfortable when he was at home under my care than when at hospital.

And I hope that a good hoist would help you transit to the bathroom and back...

And when you get your mobility back you can put it up on ebay or somewhere and help others who have been suffering the same fate...

Hugs and prayers...


----------



## Sweet Tooth

Lexi, I'm trying to sort through the vast amount of information here, so pardon me please if I assume you don't have sufficient nursing care at home.

What about a respite program to provide some home support so your husband can get some breaks? I know they're around, usually not well advertised, and they provide for a variety of needs. Most I know are faith-based, not proselytizing, but simply providing loving care for individuals who might need it [whether due to illness or injury or simply a mom with multiple newborns].

The one I'm most familiar with is Interfaith Caregivers, although they use different names in different areas depending on their "parent" organization.

I don't know if you're a member of a church. I realize if you were, you probably would find it difficult to attend anyway. More and more churches have parish nursing programs.

I can imagine that this is a lot of information to follow up on. I hope something comes through for you soon.


----------



## Lexi

Miss Vickie said:


> She's at home, Mercedes. And as a nurse let me assure you that should any patient of mine need assistance to use the bathroom, she would have it, regardless of how many times it was needed.




Man I sure wish you had been my nurse


----------



## Miss Vickie

Lexi said:


> Man I sure wish you had been my nurse



Honey, if there was any way I could get time off of work and my ass down to Florida, I'd happily do whatever I could to help you. I feel so helpless up here, with my nursing skills and you so far away.  I wish I could at least help your family with body mechanics stuff so that they didn't injure themselves helping you.

If you DO get some good in home help, please ask them to demonstrate (and watch while your family demonstrates back) good ergonomics in caring for you, okay? It doesn't have to wrack out your back to help a plus size person; I know, because I've moved, bed-bathed and turned 300 pound people by myself, with nary an injury. (OTOH I've hurt myself carrying a 7 pound baby from mama's belly to the warmer because I wasn't careful, so go figure!)


----------



## Lexi

Miss Vickie said:


> Honey, if there was any way I could get time off of work and my ass down to Florida, I'd happily do whatever I could to help you. I feel so helpless up here, with my nursing skills and you so far away.  I wish I could at least help your family with body mechanics stuff so that they didn't injure themselves helping you.
> 
> If you DO get some good in home help, please ask them to demonstrate (and watch while your family demonstrates back) good ergonomics in caring for you, okay? It doesn't have to wrack out your back to help a plus size person; I know, because I've moved, bed-bathed and turned 300 pound people by myself, with nary an injury. (OTOH I've hurt myself carrying a 7 pound baby from mama's belly to the warmer because I wasn't careful, so go figure!)



Is it possible for you to explain to me some of the ways they can do it because Ciar has a REALLY bad back and this is killing him and he keeps hurting his wrists which are bad already from all the connstruction work hes done for years.


----------



## Miss Vickie

Lexi said:


> Is it possible for you to explain to me some of the ways they can do it because Ciar has a REALLY bad back and this is killing him and he keeps hurting his wrists which are bad already from all the connstruction work hes done for years.



Lexi I'll PM you with some ideas, and if I can find my nursing fundamentals textbook that had illustrations, I'll scan and send those to you as well. It'll be tough to explain -- it's more of a "show me" than a "tell me" skill -- but I'll give it a shot.


----------



## Theatrmuse/Kara

Good for you Vickie! That will be able to help Lexi and her family immediately! Awesome!
Hugs, Kara


----------



## Lexi

Miss Vickie said:


> Lexi I'll PM you with some ideas, and if I can find my nursing fundamentals textbook that had illustrations, I'll scan and send those to you as well. It'll be tough to explain -- it's more of a "show me" than a "tell me" skill -- but I'll give it a shot.



That wouid be great. Thank you so much. Ciar says his backs already thanking you too


----------



## Squeezemesuze

Lexi,

Donation made through paypal to help you towards the bed.
In our thoughts and prayers

Squeezes
SqueezeMeSuze & Weetabix


----------



## Lexi

Squeezemesuze said:


> Lexi,
> 
> Donation made through paypal to help you towards the bed.
> In our thoughts and prayers
> 
> Squeezes
> SqueezeMeSuze & Weetabix




Thank You..You are both very kind and its much appreciated. Had a response finally today to all my phone calls to lawyers. This ones not in florida but at least they are going to talk to me next week on Friday. Yeah


----------



## Lexi

Theatrmuse/Kara said:


> Dear Lexi:
> 
> Let me begin this by saying I really admire the strength you have shown coming forward asking for advice. You have proven yourself a strong woman that is trying to find a solution or answer to help you achieve a healthier YOU.
> 
> The best advice I have noted is to contact an attorney and the advice to document all your dealings with those health professionals you have come in contact with during this time.
> 
> Second, I advise you to contact NAAFA, which is in the middle of its' annual convention this week, so I would call after Monday and leave a message for Carole Cullem, co-chair of NAAFA. (Last year I was co-chair with Carole and NAAFA has began the process developing of a fund that would help retain an attorney for discrimination cases. I am not certain of the outcome but am CERTAIN that Carole will be able to give you good legal advice.)
> 
> My email is [email protected] and I will be contacting Carole myself if you would like and would like you to email me so we can work together.
> 
> YOU, right now, TODAY are the main priority and hopefully NAAFA and some of us NAAFAians will be able to champion with you side by side!
> Big fat hugs to you tonight,
> Kara (Brewer Allen)




Hi Kara

I finally got in touch with the right person and in turn she set me up to talk to someone who put me in touch with someone and then she put me in touch with a lady that I am going to talk t o on Wednesday morning. Its a long shot but I have seen longshotss pay off well bbefore!


----------



## Theatrmuse/Kara

Lexi said:


> I finally got in touch with the right person and in turn she set me up to talk to someone who put me in touch with someone and then she put me in touch with a lady that I am going to talk to on Wednesday morning. Its a long shot but I have seen longshots pay off well before!



Oh GOOD! I am so happy that someone within NAAFA has sent you to someone that might be able to assist you.......at least legally!

Here's to keeping our fingers crossed for THIS longshot and many others to WORK for you and your situation.

Please keep in touch with me and I will help you however I can!

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, Lexi!:wubu: 
Big fat hugs, Kara


----------



## BeaBea

Hi Folks, 

There is a documentary on BBC3 tonight at 9pm which is called 'F*** Off, I'm Fat' which some people who don't have access to that channel have expressed an interest in. Its a (hopefully) size positive look at how hard it can be living a plus sized life in a 'normal' world. 

It will be hosted so you can view online but if you would like a copy of the DVD I'd be happy to send you one in exchange for a donation to Lexi. I'll also put a copy of the Chubby Chasers documentary which some people missed onto the disk too. 

Just send me an email of your name and address to [email protected] and I'll send you one out. I'm not sure if this is entirely legal, so be quick  

Tracey xx 

Lexi, hope this is ok for you? I'm sending my love and best wishes - T xxx


----------



## Lexi

BeaBea said:


> Hi Folks,
> 
> There is a documentary on BBC3 tonight at 9pm which is called 'F*** Off, I'm Fat' which some people who don't have access to that channel have expressed an interest in. Its a (hopefully) size positive look at how hard it can be living a plus sized life in a 'normal' world.
> 
> It will be hosted so you can view online but if you would like a copy of the DVD I'd be happy to send you one in exchange for a donation to Lexi. I'll also put a copy of the Chubby Chasers documentary which some people missed onto the disk too.
> 
> Just send me an email of your name and address to [email protected] and I'll send you one out. I'm not sure if this is entirely legal, so be quick
> 
> Tracey xx
> 
> Lexi, hope this is ok for you? I'm sending my love and best wishes - T xxx




Hi Tracey you are a sweety ! Thank you so much for thinking of me.This started off to be a really bad day but your good wishes have made it better.

Lexi


----------



## Emma

I've asked a lady I know for some information or contacts because she was at 657 when she got the surgery. She's given me the name of the doctor that did it. 



> http://www.bmc.org/physref/index.as...ys_id=333&dept_id=undefined&hctr_id=undefined ok this is my doctor that helped me with my surgery. i know some other girls that have gone to him with great results. they are not thin but healthier that is
> what matters more he is very straight forward but respects your wishes
> what she can do or someone can do for her, is contact them via email or call or write to them. explain to them what is happening and they maybe able to help her find someone in her area to help her



She also wanted me to let you know that if you want to chat she is here for you because she's been through the same thing. She was very ill and on oxegen too. If you're interested in talking to her I can PM you her email address and/or yahoo name.


----------



## Lexi

CurvyEm said:


> I've asked a lady I know for some information or contacts because she was at 657 when she got the surgery. She's given me the name of the doctor that did it.
> 
> 
> 
> She also wanted me to let you know that if you want to chat she is here for you because she's been through the same thing. She was very ill and on oxegen too. If you're interested in talking to her I can PM you her email address and/or yahoo name.




Hi there,

Thank you very much. Yes I would love to talk with her. My email address is [email protected] they can reach me on aim at nosass123 or yahoo at bbwlexi

thanks


----------



## Lexi

Here is an update on my situation as of today.

I appreciate all of the great suggestions and help that has come my way.Some really good things have come out of it. One of the best things are the new friendships I have made. I want to thank you for all the comments,questions,criticism that this thread continues to bring. Even the harsher critical posts still served their purpose and their insights.

To date these are some of the positive things that have come from this post.
1. A lovely Nurse Practioner that was vacationing in the area came to see me due to a friend of hers on here in Oklahoma seeing the post. She was able to check me out and help heal a few wounds I had.
2.All of you great people helped us brainstorm and we have come up with a few contraptions that we are in the prototype stage of building that will hopefully help me.
3.A few FA's from Dimensions paid for a few days of a CNA help to give Ciar a much needed break.It was quite a suprise when they called from the agency.Whoever you guys are thank you very much.
4. To all of you that donated monetarilly thank you very. I received $451.00 towards purchasing my bed. I did not email each of you back as I know some of you share your email accounts and might not want it to be known.I do thank you for your generosity.
5. I did get to speak with a few attorneys. A few more have to speak with this week. Hopefully one will be able to help. I have been given some ideaas to work on.

I am still in the same situation as far as my health We are still trying to figure out how to get me up off the broken bed each day without futher injury.I also didspeak with some long term care facilities and it does not appear to be the answer for my situation. I do seem to be still losing weight. Just have no idea how much since i cant step up onto the scale safely.

Thanks again 

Lexi


----------



## Dark Willow

All advice that can be of use has no doubt been given already, so just hoping and praying for the best to come out of that far from ideal place you find yourself in. Good luck, my thoughts are with you.


----------



## Indy

Lexi, Please check out this website bariatricrehab.com, it's the website of Mike Dionne a PT specialist who gives seminars around the country on safe transfers of supersize patients. He gave a great presentation at the NAAFA Atlanta convention ansd is located in GA. Best Wishes..


----------



## Lexi

Indy said:


> Lexi, Please check out this website bariatricrehab.com, it's the website of Mike Dionne a PT specialist who gives seminars around the country on safe transfers of supersize patients. He gave a great presentation at the NAAFA Atlanta convention ansd is located in GA. Best Wishes..



Thank you very much I will check that out right now. Much appreciated.

Lexi


----------



## FranklyanFA

FEast said:


> Please note that this post is not for the faint of heart, so please don't read further if you'd rather not know about the possible perils of extreme obesity that have befallen a beloved member of our community. For those of you who've chosen to read on despite my admonition, the sad tale below was related to me by Lexi, with whom many of you are familiar. She started Fat Fantasy many years ago, and her efforts have brought pleasure to many over the years. This is a long post, so if you don't have time to read it now, please come back when you do, as you might have some answers for a special person who's desperate for help.
> 
> As I've reported here in the past, Lexi has fallen on some very hard times in the last couple of years, in part due to the devastation that was visited upon her home and office during several hurricanes. She's also been having severe medical problems, most of which we've kept under wraps until now. However, she's become so desperate, we thought it was time to seek help and advice from the helpful folks at this fine forum. The state of Florida has treated Lexi horribly, and, in particular, the Florida medical "professionals." The only doctor she was ever able to get to come to her home is now refusing her even the basest of medical care, and has even stopped prescribing meds that are required to keep Lexi alive.
> 
> Please understand that this is in no way meant to be a cautionary tale, although I suspect some may take it that way. Instead, we've decided to bring her problems to a venue in which she feels safe and where others may have had similar problems and possible solutions. We also know that some of you are in the medical profession, and might be able to offer helpful advice. Here, therefore, is Lexi's story. I've added some details at the end to clarify a few things.
> 
> Many of you know me from my website. Some of you who are members of it know about a few of my troubles. A thread on DIM discussed Fear of Gaining, and I am living proof as to to what the reality is at the end of that fear.
> 
> As many of you watched me grow larger and were extremely complimentary about my size, it was also my biggest nightmare. My size over the last fifteen years became my prison. I am serving a life sentence inside the walls of my bedroom. There is no outside light for me to enjoy. Even the most hardened prisoner is occasionally allowed even five minutes of exercise outside. My only exercise is my daily frightening walk to my shower.
> 
> You might ask why it scares me. Well, over the last six months I have fallen nine times. Each episode required the assistance of between seven to twelve paramedics and fire rescue people. Getting me up is a painful, stressful, and humiliating procedure. I usually hurt for a week afterwards from the bruises that result. I normally end up unable to use my arm for a week as well, since it is already so badly strained from falls and having to pull myself out of bed.
> 
> Why do I fall? Well, so far we have only discovered one bed that works for me. It's made by Sealy, and is called Reflexions. Its a latex bed. I need a king size to function and turn my body when I get into bed, and I sit on it sideways, in order to support my girth. There are some bariatric mattresses out there, but so far all the ones we tried did not work well for me. I could not sit or lay comfortably on them. They also tended to cut off my circulation. Due to my weight, shape, height, and short legs, I have great difficulty getting in and out of the bed, especially in.
> 
> On December 24, I became really ill. I fell on the floor as my weight accelerated to over seven hundred pounds. I had gained fifty pounds in only three weeks, and they had no idea why, since I had not changed my eating habits or was eating unhealthy food. The doctors, of course, do not believe that. They prefer to think I was in denial and inhaling pizzas by the dozens.
> 
> Rescue workers came to my house to take me to the hospital. When they finally managed to get me to a sitting position on the bed, they tried to pull me up to stand, and I fell again on the floor. They lifted me back up, and it took four men to keep me standing. They wound up having to drag me across the floor on a tarp, after trying airbags and all sorts of fun tortures. It took over twelve hours to get me out of my house.
> 
> They tried to put me in eleven different ambulances. I was too big for all of them. I measured four feet by four feet around. I did not fit through any of the ambulance doors, so they decided to transport me in my own van. They threw a mattress in it, and helped me walk in on my lift. The paramedics rode with me. I have been on oxygen for fifteen years, so, of course, it came with us, too. We had called ahead to the hospital and explained the circumstances. They gave me permission to bring my own bed, so an ambulance carried it for me. We got a police escort to the hospital since my van has no siren.
> 
> When I arrived at Florida Hospital in Orlando, the trauma team head nurse came out as we had planned. She told me to walk out of the van and get on the big boy bed transport. I calmly explained to her that I was unable to walk. She told me it was all in my head, and I could. The rescue workers were now out of their assigned county, so they had to take their ambulance and leave. They told the nurse I needed oxygen and left. The nurse told me if I wanted my oxygen, I would have to walk to it and get it. I again calmy stated I could not walk, but that I must have my oxygen. I was outside in the heat and blazing sun, with no air conditioning or oxygen, so my condition was deteriorating. I knew my oxygen saturation level was rapidly dropping, as I was not feeling right, and knew the signs.
> 
> The charge nurse came out and told four male patient techs to go into my van, grab me, and pull me to my lift. My husband explained to the nurse quite patiently, without losing his temper (not an easy feat, under the circumstances), that my lift was not secured in place. It had to be locked into position, and had a weight max of 1,000 pounds. Since I weighed 700 pounds by myself, three big men joining me was unsafe. She did not care. They came in and dragged me by my arms; my feet were not even on the ground. They pulled this big boy bed up by the van, and when I got to the lift, I was quite unstable, as I still had no oxygen, and my legs were not carrying me well.
> 
> The nurse said I should jump up onto the bed. Now, for the average size person, that might work. However, the bed was about six inches higher than my butt, and was up past my breasts. Needless to say, I couldnt jump up onto it, but they pushed me, and I started to fall. Suddenly there were ten guys and nurses trying to break my fall and get me on their transport. This was all done in front of their hospital, and without my oxygen. They sprained my arm, and I wound up with bruises all over my body, but they eventually landed me on the transport.
> 
> They finally admitted me to the hospital after forcing a doctor to take me as a patient. My (in my opinion) worthless quack of a doctor did not return calls from the hospital staff. In fact, it was not until the day I was being released that she finally got around to calling them. Because my weight gain had been so sudden and rapid, they realized I was retaining tremendous amounts of fluids, so the hospital put me on very strong diuretics and a catheter, as I was obviously unable to get in and out of the hospital bed for frequent trips to the bathroom. The photos of my hospital stay are in my members' area if anyone wants to see them.
> 
> They prescribed some medications, then tried to evict me a day later since I had no insurance and Medicaid refused to pay for my care. However, they had no choice but to keep me since they could not find a way to get me out. I do not fit in the ambulances, and they broke my lift to my van. They ended up having to fix it to get me home.
> 
> The doctor they assigned me did not want to take care of me. In fact, the whole time I was in there, he came closer than six feet of me only once. After I complained about him to the staff, he decided he should at least listen to my lungs. That was the extent of his examination.
> 
> I was sent home to my own doctor, who never came to see me again. She is the only home visiting doctor in my area. They did put me on home health. They also gave me a CNA to help me for two weeks since when they were loading me into my van, they dropped a big canister of oxygen on my foot and fractured it.
> 
> Since I've been home these past few months, things have gotten worse. I have no medical help. My doctor refuses to respond. Even when she finally does order a test for me, she refuses to give me the results. She also ordered the home health people to remove the catheter I've been on for months, knowing I am unable to get off the bed more than once or twice a day, yet I still have to continue to take diuretics twice a day. The only way I can manage is to sit on diapers, which have to be changed hourly, and my home health hours have been cut in half, necessitating family and friends to come to my rescue when they're available, or my sitting in my bodily fluids until someone has time to help, which sometimes takes hours.
> 
> I am in serious trouble, and have no clue what to do now. My husband is burned out trying to care for me twenty-four hours a day. He feels like he is watching me die, which he might very well be. In a last desperate humiliating attempt to seek help, I am reaching out to all of you to see if anyone knows of something I can do that I have not yet thought of or tried. If anyone knows of any resources, please post them here or e-mail me. I'm unable to write much because of the chronic excruciating pain in my arm and hand, but I can read what you write. We are drained physically, mentally, and financially trying to deal with all of this.
> 
> Lexi's family and I have exhausted everything we can think of to try to help her. We've tried to find doctors who will come to her home, or get somebody in authority to do the right thing for her. We thought perhaps she could go to a hospital outside Florida that accommodates obese patients, but even they are unable to take someone of her size. Despite the fact that she's lost weight due to the fluids being washed out of her system, she's still too big to fit through even their doorways, among other things, even if a way could be found to transport her.
> 
> After much research, we've discovered that the doctor who had been willing to (occasionally) come to her home over the past few years, has a terrible reputation, and has left many patients in the lurch. She often provides only palliative care, then removes even that, and refuses to provide medications that will prolong a patient's life, giving rise to thoughts of Kevorkian. The only reason Lexi hasn't gotten rid of her and reported her to the authorities is that, for some reason, she's still willing to prescribe home health care, which Lexi desperately needs and cannot get without a doctor's approval.
> 
> I was going to post a photo or two of Lexi's hospital experience for those who aren't members of her site, but decided that this post, in itself, is upsetting enough. While she was in the hospital, her family and I desperately tried to get help for her. I called the hospital administration and patient representative, all to no avail, and her abusive treatment continued. I searched the Internet for home care for her, but came up against one brick wall after another. I've wracked my brain for ways to help her every time she has yet another bad experience, but have run out of ideas.
> 
> Personally, I believe she has to get out of the state of Florida, but where can she go that will give her the appropriate care? Is there any place that can actually accommodate her? In Florida, if she didn't have family to help, they'd force her into a nursing home, and we all know what would undoubtedly happen there. This nearly happened to her several years ago, when she was living alone, but there was no nursing home that could facilitate someone of her size, so the authorities backed off. I know that in NYS, she'd have all kinds of professionals trying to get help for her, but in Florida, they just don't seem to care.~Sadly and frustratedly, Fuchsia
> 
> Okay, I changed my mind (woman's prerogative  ) and decided to include some photos after all. Some are way too graphic and even more depressing than these, so I tried to choose some that were supportive of this post, without going over the top. In order to observe the rules for posting photos on the Main Board, I've obliterated Fat Fantasy's copyright tags, and pray these photos will never find their way to one of those ugly hate sites.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ​




I have been following this thread since it started but for a lack of something intelligent to add I have kept quiet.Yesterday however, I was speaking to an old friend who has just moved to Dayton Beach Fl and he is also a fellow admirer.I told him about your situation and he told me that he had a cousin that was a nurse practitioner and she had just bought a house in Daytona Beach as well.He said he could contact her and see if she could help you in some way.I just wanted to know if that would be of interest to you.If so please let me know an i will be happy to do it.

I hope everything works out for you soon. I have also made a donation to you this morning.Please continue to let us know how things are going and know that we care.


----------



## Stevej69

I was afraid something may have been seriously wrong since I saw the lack of updates on the website. I had just left the site when you had all of the initial hospital problems. This is Steve down in West Palm Beach. I have spoken with you at various times over the years Lexi, and I really hope you have a turn of good luck and your health improves and and somebody steps up in your area and you get the help you need. I have no clue where that help can come from, local government?, TV stations?, newspapers?. I'm surprised a tv station has not tried to help. They are always looking for things to report on. I wish I personally could help more. I have always wanted to meet you in person Lexi. I could always come up for a weekend to help out if needed. I will look into a few ideas of people/places that might be able to help. If I get any leads, I will pass on the info. Stay strong Lexi, this may be a lowpoint right now, things will get better.


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## Lexi

Stevej69 said:


> I was afraid something may have been seriously wrong since I saw the lack of updates on the website. I had just left the site when you had all of the initial hospital problems. This is Steve down in West Palm Beach. I have spoken with you at various times over the years Lexi, and I really hope you have a turn of good luck and your health improves and and somebody steps up in your area and you get the help you need. I have no clue where that help can come from, local government?, TV stations?, newspapers?. I'm surprised a tv station has not tried to help. They are always looking for things to report on. I wish I personally could help more. I have always wanted to meet you in person Lexi. I could always come up for a weekend to help out if needed. I will look into a few ideas of people/places that might be able to help. If I get any leads, I will pass on the info. Stay strong Lexi, this may be a lowpoint right now, things will get better.



Hi Steve, yes of course I remember you. You kept me company in many lonely times. I do appreciate that. I do hope to get thhe chance to meet you. My situation is much the same. However my medical condition worsened this past week. My blood pressure has dropped dangerously lowmaking me very dizzy. We still have not figured out how to get me off this broken bed. We have tried many things so far including placing four motorcyle jack under the cornerss of my bed and trying to use that to lower and raise the bed. Not a good idea 

Anyway we keep trying to get enough to but the bed in the meantime we still are trying to invent a gadget to do it.

Thanks for writing.


----------



## chocolate desire

Hi Lexi I was wondering if you have talked with anyone involved with Shands Hospital in Gainesville Fl? I ask because last week I found myself in the E.R at a hospital here in South Ga. They could not figure out what was wrong with me (turns out it was just an acute case of stomach virus)and I was told the hospital here was not equipped to handle a person my size so the Doctor called several hospitals from what I was told and after 6 hours Shands agreeded to accept me.It was a long bumpy ride but thy made sure I was well medicated and after being there for 2 hours I was told I would have to remain in the ER until the bed that was ordered for me had arrived(it showed up at 1 AM).I had no less than 15 people attending to me and everyone was very very nice. In fact I got a little upset when it was *assumed* because of my size I could not stand or walk as they offered to to do EVERYTHING for me.The bed had a trapeze bar and had an auto massage.Unlike the hospital you went to they tried to convince me to stay but after a couple days I had some personal things I had to attend to at home.I don't have Fl insurance in fact all I have is medicare.If you have not talked to anyone there please give them a try. 
I hope you a speedy recovery and my hat is off to Ciar for being so steadfast and being a great husband to you.


----------



## Lexi

chocolate desire said:


> Hi Lexi I was wondering if you have talked with anyone involved with Shands Hospital in Gainesville Fl? I ask because last week I found myself in the E.R at a hospital here in South Ga. They could not figure out what was wrong with me (turns out it was just an acute case of stomach virus)and I was told the hospital here was not equipped to handle a person my size so the Doctor called several hospitals from what I was told and after 6 hours Shands agreeded to accept me.It was a long bumpy ride but thy made sure I was well medicated and after being there for 2 hours I was told I would have to remain in the ER until the bed that was ordered for me had arrived(it showed up at 1 AM).I had no less than 15 people attending to me and everyone was very very nice. In fact I got a little upset when it was *assumed* because of my size I could not stand or walk as they offered to to do EVERYTHING for me.The bed had a trapeze bar and had an auto massage.Unlike the hospital you went to they tried to convince me to stay but after a couple days I had some personal things I had to attend to at home.I don't have Fl insurance in fact all I have is medicare.If you have not talked to anyone there please give them a try.
> I hope you a speedy recovery and my hat is off to Ciar for being so steadfast and being a great husband to you.




Actually about 12 years ago I had a surgery at that hospital and back then they did okay with my size. I figured they could again accomodate me and before going to Florida Hospital in Orlando Ciar drove up to Shands with my photo and a brief medical synopsis.They sent him to 5 different places in the hospital.In the end they suggested I try weight watchers. SHEESH At that point Ciar who has Very little patience suggested a few other things to the lady suggesting that and it ended our discussion with that hospital. I did have a social worker call up there recently to try for me but if I do not want to go the gastric bypass route then they really do not have other options.

I am glad yo are feeling better and that your hospital experience was better then mine. Keep in touch


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## SpiceSquirrel

Hi Lexi! You are in my thoughts! Warmest wishes to you! Paul, the guy who was on Dr. Phil, is also trying to get into a clinic. His blog is http://bigpaulak.livejournal.com/ Maybe you two could exchange information with each other.


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## Lexi

SpiceSquirrel said:


> Hi Lexi! You are in my thoughts! Warmest wishes to you! Paul, the guy who was on Dr. Phil, is also trying to get into a clinic. His blog is http://bigpaulak.livejournal.com/ Maybe you two could exchange information with each other.




Thank you for the information. I wrote to him and I also forwarded it throughthe dr phil show.. So far no answer.


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## sonyb

hello Lexi,

first I want to say I'm really sorry for your wholeordeal at the hospital. I feel so bad for you. On TV there is a program on discovery health Channel. Where obesity people can go to get help on their condition. I think it's in Missouri but not sure. Maybe that place will help you. Lexi take it one day at a time.

sonyb
P. S.
I will keep you my thoughts.


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## Mercedes

Hi Lexi! 

How are you?

I noticed your last update in this thread was nearly 3 months ago... got me worried, hope you're OK and better than the last time you posted here!

Or hopefully I missed an update.

Huggles,
Mercedes


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## JoyJoy

Hi Mercedes, 

Lexi recently posted an update here: http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14506


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## Texas Siren

I am so sorry this is happening to you! It is ridiculous that they treated you that way in the hospital there! A good friend of mine died a few years ago of a heart attack, he weighed about 820 lbs. BUT when he went into the hospital for things, even the very small town hospital took great care of him and made sure they had all the equipment they needed to assist him. He actually was going to be going to a rehabilitation center when he passed away. I don't know if it's something they could help you with, but it's called Warm Springs Rehabilitation Center in Texas. They work with obese patients a lot I've been told. I hope it all works out for you. You are in my prayers!


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## jediknight36

if she is willing to get on a boat, try cuba. Its risky, but it would be free. Or try relocating to Canada, england or france. Free health care. It sounds unreasonable, but if you are talking about leaving Florida, then at least get to free care.


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## SocialbFly

i hate to be so negative, but it isnt THAT easy to move to another country when they have *free* healthcare, they make it damn difficult...the docs, the exams, the bills, and if you have trouble getting into a car, how would you get in a plane or a boat, while the suggestion you offer shows empathy, it shows no real life experience...


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## Blackjack

Holy thread necrophilia Batman!


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## SamanthaNY

jediknight36 said:


> if she is willing to get on a boat, try cuba. Its risky, but it would be free. Or try relocating to Canada, england or france. Free health care. It sounds unreasonable, but if you are talking about leaving Florida, then at least get to free care.





SocialbFly said:


> i hate to be so negative, but it isnt THAT easy to move to another country when they have *free* healthcare, they make it damn difficult...the docs, the exams, the bills, and if you have trouble getting into a car, how would you get in a plane or a boat, while the suggestion you offer shows empathy, it shows no real life experience...



Most countries that have 'free' healthcare frown on folks emigrating expressly to enjoy that perk. In many cases, they require 3-6 months of legal residency before you can take advantage of healthcare benefits. Most people experiencing health consequences cannot go that long without treatment/medications. 

And traveling to Cuba is forbidden for Americans, so... bad suggestion there.


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## BeaBea

jediknight36 said:


> if she is willing to get on a boat, try cuba. Its risky, but it would be free. Or try relocating to Canada, england or france. Free health care. It sounds unreasonable, but if you are talking about leaving Florida, then at least get to free care.



Excuse me?? Healthcare is NOT free in the UK. It's paid for by taxation and free at the point of delivery for UK citizens but it IS paid for. Your assumption that it falls out the sky free is naieve in the extreme. Also, Samantha is correct in that residency and/or other conditions have to be met.

Further - do you think poor Lexi is in any fit state to travel? Do you image a long trip is what she needs to help her recovery?

Good grief.

Dear Lexi 

I hope you know I have nothing but the greatest sympathy for you and your positon. I mean no disrespect by the above post but I hope you're getting better advice and more helpful suggestions that this to assist your recovery.

My love to you - Tracey


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## HereticFA

Blackjack said:


> Holy thread necrophilia Batman!



ROTFL (And too true.)

I'd like to add my best wishes to Lexi. I hope things have been better since this thread was originally posted late last summer. Your experiences only illustrate the healthcare horrors so many supersize folks needlessly suffer.


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## Tori DeLuca

Since this thread was resurrected from the dead, I was just wondering how Lexi was doing now. Any updates? I pray her situation is MUCH better!
Tori


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## SoVerySoft

Tori DeLuca said:


> Since this thread was resurrected from the dead, I was just wondering how Lexi was doing now. Any updates? I pray her situation is MUCH better!
> Tori



There is info in this thread.


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## QuantumXL

I do deeply apologize for the American Health care services, for they are as useless as the people who lead the country. But i rather not get into that, and put my 2 cents into this. My girlfriend has been in situations where she has been refused of medication that keeps her sane and up, and she has been in a hospital where she has been refused care for particular reasons i couldn't even think about. What ever happened to doctors gaining their degrees to actually rationalize the situation and look at it and try to put a damn effort to help the person. Does your pay check say you have to take care of your patients? Obviously they don't see what is wrong. Can i ask something? When a person that is not of good physical health asks for physical therapy and nutritional care, wouldn't it only be logical to prescribe these things in a attempt to help this particular person to get into better physical shape? Do you believe that the person wouldn't put an effort to live a better life? You know, this is why I'm going to be a Doctor. So i have the right to look at this ridiculous doctors and tell them "Just give up in life, because life is so much more harder than you think." I give up on Doctors a long time ago. Reasons why i never go to the hospitals anymore. Even me, a normal man can't even get attention in a hospital. Unfortunately i haven't been in the medical field too long. NYS health department is actually very helpful, for you can't screw around here because they know that city people are very picky. I've heard about a couple of obesity clinics that do assist in extensive weight loss, sort of like a fat camp, where your basically put onto a strict diet and exercise. My girlfriend did some research on this in the past, so you can Message her about it. Blueeyedevie is her name on this page. I'm not a big fan of Gaining, for i don't like the outcome (Lifestyle and such) But there are a few people that do like it, so i have no problem with them liking it. For me being in medical profession, being a FA, and in love with a ssbbw it's all a weird balance. But we all my decisions in life that go for the benefits. So live life to the fullest, because life is somewhat short. I'm sorry I wasn't that big of a help, but i can do some research. I really wish i was a doctor right as of now so i can actually come down to florida and help out there. Unfortunatly I'm only Premed. I have a good 7-8 years left. My apologies.


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## Tori DeLuca

SoVerySoft said:


> There is info in this thread.



Thank you SVS! I seem to have missed it when first posted!:doh: :doh: 

thank you again!


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## Tori DeLuca

QuantumXL said:


> I do deeply apologize for the American Health care services, for they are as useless as the people who lead the country. But i rather not get into that, and put my 2 cents into this. My girlfriend has been in situations where she has been refused of medication that keeps her sane and up, and she has been in a hospital where she has been refused care for particular reasons i couldn't even think about. What ever happened to doctors gaining their degrees to actually rationalize the situation and look at it and try to put a damn effort to help the person. Does your pay check say you have to take care of your patients? Obviously they don't see what is wrong. Can i ask something? When a person that is not of good physical health asks for physical therapy and nutritional care, wouldn't it only be logical to prescribe these things in a attempt to help this particular person to get into better physical shape? Do you believe that the person wouldn't put an effort to live a better life? You know, this is why I'm going to be a Doctor. So i have the right to look at this ridiculous doctors and tell them "Just give up in life, because life is so much more harder than you think." I give up on Doctors a long time ago. Reasons why i never go to the hospitals anymore. Even me, a normal man can't even get attention in a hospital. Unfortunately i haven't been in the medical field too long. NYS health department is actually very helpful, for you can't screw around here because they know that city people are very picky. I've heard about a couple of obesity clinics that do assist in extensive weight loss, sort of like a fat camp, where your basically put onto a strict diet and exercise. My girlfriend did some research on this in the past, so you can Message her about it. Blueeyedevie is her name on this page. I'm not a big fan of Gaining, for i don't like the outcome (Lifestyle and such) But there are a few people that do like it, so i have no problem with them liking it. For me being in medical profession, being a FA, and in love with a ssbbw it's all a weird balance. But we all my decisions in life that go for the benefits. So live life to the fullest, because life is somewhat short. I'm sorry I wasn't that big of a help, but i can do some research. I really wish i was a doctor right as of now so i can actually come down to florida and help out there. Unfortunatly I'm only Premed. I have a good 7-8 years left. My apologies.



Posts like yours give me hope for the future. My sister is also pre med and in a few years time we will have not just one but 2 compassionate, professional physicians available. God Bless You....Truly.


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## Heavy_Cream

Could somebody PLEASE tell me how Lexi is doing nowadays?


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## mossystate

Heavy_Cream said:


> Could somebody PLEASE tell me how Lexi is doing nowadays?



Lexi passed away.

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?p=764481#post764481


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## Sandie S-R

Because Lexi passed on some months ago, I am going to close this thread. 


/moderator


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