# Things the opposite gender should know



## Bearsy

This is for men and women. Do you have anything that you wish the opposite gender knew or understood about you? Misunderstandings, complaints, questions? Just curious what people have to say.


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## spiritangel

Just because its girl time or close to girl time does not mean if I am angry or upset I do not have a valid reason


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## taobear

That some of us guy are not out just to get laid..... I want a relationship with a lady who knows who I am and won't get confused about why I spend time with her. I can't tell you how many times I have been chased off because I was too kind. Too me love is not just about sex it's about giving of yourself and receiving in kind. I guess I'm a bit old fashioned. But I have never enjoyed sex without a deeper connection, not that I'm all that experienced but this F buddy business and one night stands never had any appeal to me. If that is all there is I'll stick with porn at least you don't have to worry about where that smell is coming from or is my partner having a good time or if they have something you can't wash off with Ajax.


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## CarlaSixx

Just because I have male friends does NOT mean they're trying to get in my pants, nor does it mean they have been in my pants in the past. And it doesn't mean they're all gay, either.


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## escapist

I look forward to hours of joyful laughter as this thread fills up.




...just so I make sure I contribute something I'll say this: 

"Getting angry at us for not reading your mind is like getting angry at yourself for not being able to fly. It's not just futile, it's physically impossible."


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## Sasquatch!

Just because I'm a guy does not mean I will sleep with you.

Back off or next time, I will bring my rape alarm.


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## spiritangel

if I tell you something and you dont remember it it doesnt mean I havent told you or that I am dreaming I have told you. You just need to learn to listen better and not tune out  thats regression to the past two relationships lol I am sure not all men forget important stuff we say


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## Twilley

Be direct as possible. Don't worry about hurting our feelings, don't think it's going to reflect poorly on you. Say what you mean.


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## spiritangel

Twilley said:


> Be direct as possible. Don't worry about hurting our feelings, don't think it's going to reflect poorly on you. Say what you mean.



can I say ditto to that so over guys who cant get to the point and say whats bugging them and the like


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## Tad

If you want something, and you want us to know you want it, say that you want it. 

If you like something, and want us to know that you like it, then say you like it. 

If you don't like something, and want us to know that you don't like it, then say that you don't like it.

And "Hey, do you remember that time when X......" does not mean you've said that you liked it and want to do it again.


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## theronin23

Please don't make comments about men, like I'm not one, while you're talking to mel

Example:
"I wish guys would talk to me."

Uhhh...last time I checked, I am a guy, and I'm talking to you. So yeah.


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## chicken legs

If you want us to care about you then takes notes on our personality because we are taking notes on yours. Details go a long way. Example, if you remember she likes a particular candy bar and you pick one up, without her asking for it, its better than bunch of roses or a big box of chocolates. However, don't make a big deal that you remembered and expect her to suck your cock for it..lol. That just negates all the goodness.

Just because we want to fuck you doesn't mean we actually want a full relationship. In this day in age, sometimes we just want one regular lover while we sort our shit out.

Guys with pets or gardens are soooooo attractive to me. However, its also very cool when guys take an interest in my hobbies. They don't have to participate but just realize its my happy place and don't fuck with it. Likewise, just because you really like something doesn't mean I want to actually participate in it.


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## Hozay J Garseeya

When i say, "make me a sandwich!" I'm not being cute . . 
Make me a fucking sandwich!!!


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## taobear

Twilley said:


> Be direct as possible. Don't worry about hurting our feelings, don't think it's going to reflect poorly on you. Say what you mean.



I agree 100%


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## taobear

chicken legs said:


> If you want us to care about you then takes notes on our personality because we are taking notes on yours. Details go a long way. Example, if you remember she likes a particular candy bar and you pick one up, without her asking for it, its better than bunch of roses or a big box of chocolates. However, don't make a big deal that you remembered and expect her to suck your cock for it..lol. That just negates all the goodness.
> 
> Just because we want to fuck you doesn't mean we actually want a full relationship. In this day in age, sometimes we just want one regular lover while we sort our shit out.
> 
> Guys with pets or gardens are soooooo attractive to me. However, its also very cool when guys take an interest in my hobbies. They don't have to participate but just realize its my happy place and don't fuck with it. Likewise, just because you really like something doesn't mean I want to actually participate in it.



Uh okay LOL


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## KittyKitten

Kind of close to what Carla said, in reference to boyfriends, just because a guy calls me to say hi does not mean he wants to get some, so don't get jealous because you know I love only YOU.


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## taobear

chicken legs said:


> If you want us to care about you then takes notes on our personality because we are taking notes on yours. Details go a long way. Example, if you remember she likes a particular candy bar and you pick one up, without her asking for it, its better than bunch of roses or a big box of chocolates. However, don't make a big deal that you remembered and expect her to suck your cock for it..lol. That just negates all the goodness.
> 
> Just because we want to fuck you doesn't mean we actually want a full relationship. In this day in age, sometimes we just want one regular lover while we sort our shit out.
> 
> Guys with pets or gardens are soooooo attractive to me. However, its also very cool when guys take an interest in my hobbies. They don't have to participate but just realize its my happy place and don't fuck with it. Likewise, just because you really like something doesn't mean I want to actually participate in it.



What if we need a relationship to really want to fuck and a medical record maybe a birth certificate if you look young maybe some proof that there is no husband in the closet. You never know I have been shot at once and cut twice over old boyfriends.


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## taobear

Maybe thats because I'm just plain old white trash LOL


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## Melian

spiritangel said:


> Just because its girl time or close to girl time does not mean if I am angry or upset I do not have a valid reason



Inspired by this post ^

1. I am often angry for a valid reason (usually work or douchebags).
2. I will still fuck during girl time, provided that the bed doesn't look like an abbatoir when we're done.


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## theronin23

Melian said:


> Inspired by this post ^
> 
> 1. I am often angry for a valid reason (usually work or douchebags).
> 2. I will still fuck during girl time, provided that the bed doesn't look like an abbatoir when we're done.



Mmmm, Crime Scene Sex.


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## CarlaSixx

Just because I flirt back doesn't mean I realize I'm flirting back all the time, and doesn't always mean I'm actually interested. Take it as a compliment when I'm single, and if it's my partner, don't read into it if it looks like I'm flirting with others. Most times, I can't even tell what is flirting and what is not. So if I'm with you and doing it to someone else, it's nothing serious. Otherwise I would already not be with you.


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## taobear

theronin23 said:


> Mmmm, Crime Scene Sex.



LMAO Now thats funny. Just make sure you wear gloves, you don't want to contaminate the scene


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## taobear

CarlaSixx said:


> Just because I flirt back doesn't mean I realize I'm flirting back all the time, and doesn't always mean I'm actually interested. Take it as a compliment when I'm single, and if it's my partner, don't read into it if it looks like I'm flirting with others. Most times, I can't even tell what is flirting and what is not. So if I'm with you and doing it to someone else, it's nothing serious. Otherwise I would already not be with you.



Oh I'm sorry. You may flirt in a dishonest manner. But I always mean what I say and always say what I mean. Any questions?


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## Melian

taobear said:


> LMAO Now thats funny. Just make sure you wear gloves, don't want to contaminate the scene



I would prefer if latex gloves were worn, yes.


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## taobear

Melian said:


> I would prefer if latex gloves were worn, yes.



anything else in latex??


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## taobear

Sorry getting carried away I guess


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## CarlaSixx

taobear said:


> Oh I'm sorry. You may flirt in a dishonest manner. But I always mean what I say and always say what I mean. Any questions?


Why don't we all think the same? It would make things easier lol.


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## taobear

CarlaSixx said:


> Why don't we all think the same? It would make things easier lol.



I don't know darlin. It's your world and I'm just a squirrel


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## theronin23

taobear said:


> LMAO Now thats funny. Just make sure you wear gloves, you don't want to contaminate the scene



I have a box of 'em in my nightstand. And yes melian. Latex. None of that nitrile bullshit.


....What?! I have a degree in Crime Scene Technology, what else would I use them for? Don't answer that.


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## taobear

theronin23 said:


> I have a box of 'em in my nightstand. And yes melian. Latex. None of that nitrile bullshit.
> 
> 
> ....What?! I have a degree in Crime Scene Technology, what else would I use them for? Don't answer that.



I'm so tempted to answer though.


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## Lavasse

How about looking to see if the toilet seat is down and putting it down yourself instead of taking 20 minutes to bitch at us for not putting it down! You didn't walk into the bathroom backwords with a little horn going beep beep beep and then sit down and go splash. No, you walked in, looked right at the toilet, weren't paying attention and plopped down. And you yell at us for not being observant


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## Lavasse

taobear said:


> I'm so tempted to answer though.



MASTURBATION!!! there I said what we all were thinking!


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## taobear

Lavasse said:


> How about looking to see if the toilet seat is down and putting it down yourself instead of taking 20 minutes to bitch at us for not putting it down! You didn't walk into the bathroom backwords with a little horn going beep beep beep and then sit down and go splash. No, you walked in, looked right at the toilet, weren't paying attention and plopped down. And you yell at us for not being observant



I love this board. LOL


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## taobear

Lavasse said:


> MASTURBATION!!! there I said what we all were thinking!



Not quite but I'll agree. That too.


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## theronin23

Lavasse said:


> MASTURBATION!!! there I said what we all were thinking!



Masturbation with a latex glove?!?! Unless there's a LOT of lube involved I have one word for you



OOOOOOWWWWWWWWW


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## Lavasse

theronin23 said:


> Masturbation with a latex glove?!?! Unless there's a LOT of lube involved I have one word for you
> 
> 
> 
> OOOOOOWWWWWWWWW



Its like ultra safe sex, your the only one involvd AND your using 5 condoms


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## theronin23

Lavasse said:


> Its like ultra safe sex, your the only one involvd AND your using 5 condoms



Sorry, I think i'd go pocket pussy before I'd go latex glove. You run just a little bit dry with the lube and it's gonna HURT.


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## CarlaSixx

Latex gloves are also useful for milking the prostate.

Yup.

I said it.


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## Lavasse

CarlaSixx said:


> Latex gloves are also useful for milking the prostate.
> 
> Yup.
> 
> I said it.



I don't know about you all but that my butthole pucker


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## chicken legs

taobear said:


> What if we need a relationship to really want to fuck and a medical record maybe a birth certificate if you look young maybe some proof that there is no husband in the closet. You never know I have been shot at once and cut twice over old boyfriends.



I stalk my prey before engaging in intimate relationships. You can find a lot with a little snooping and a social security number without being in a serious relationship. However, like a Carfax report, it still doesn't include everything. So you kinda have to go with your gut even after you have info.


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## taobear

chicken legs said:


> I stalk my prey before engaging in intimate relationships. You can find a lot with a little snooping and a social security number without being in a serious relationship. However, like a Carfax report, it still doesn't include everything. So you kinda have to go with your gut even after you have info.



I'm sorry but I don't give out my SS# well maybe for you chicken :eat2:


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## chicken legs

taobear said:


> Oh I'm sorry. You may flirt in a dishonest manner. But I always mean what I say and always say what I mean. Any questions?



heheh....this is why I ended up parting in the Gay Bars. Straight guys can get so pissy when we play around.


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## chicken legs

Lavasse said:


> How about looking to see if the toilet seat is down and putting it down yourself instead of taking 20 minutes to bitch at us for not putting it down! You didn't walk into the bathroom backwords with a little horn going beep beep beep and then sit down and go splash. No, you walked in, looked right at the toilet, weren't paying attention and plopped down. And you yell at us for not being observant



Hey man..hiya been.


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## theronin23

CarlaSixx said:


> Latex gloves are also useful for milking the prostate.
> 
> Yup.
> 
> I said it.



...I should have known "Don't answer that" would open the flood gates lol



Lavasse said:


> I don't know about you all but that my butthole pucker



You trying to tell me you wouldn't at least try it?



chicken legs said:


> heheh....this is why I ended up parting in the Gay Bars. Straight guys can get so pissy when we play around.



I don't know, I think doesn't get the joke guy is a little less of an accomplishment online, because there isn't a sarcasm button after all lol.

But, still, I laughed.


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## chicken legs

taobear said:


> I'm sorry but I don't give out my SS# well maybe for you chicken :eat2:



Don't worry, I won't ask...and you'll never know...muahahah


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## taobear

chicken legs said:


> heheh....this is why I ended up parting in the Gay Bars. Straight guys can get so pissy when we play around.



Thats just mean besides you like it when we get pissy


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## taobear

CarlaSixx said:


> Latex gloves are also useful for milking the prostate.
> 
> Yup.
> 
> I said it.



Oh my if you promise to be gentle you never know


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## chicken legs

CarlaSixx said:


> Latex gloves are also useful for milking the prostate.
> 
> Yup.
> 
> I said it.



I fell in love with latex because of my gynecologist.:wubu:..However, it was slightly embarassing too.:happy:


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## Lavasse

chicken legs said:


> Hey man..hiya been.



Eh I haven't been doing so great lately but thats why I came here to be with people who understand.


And no theronin23 I don't consider a procotology exam foreplay lol


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## chicken legs

taobear said:


> Thats just mean



hehhehe..What..lol


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## taobear

chicken legs said:


> hehhehe..What..lol



Okay if your flirting now I'm willing and ready right here, right now


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## chicken legs

taobear said:


> Okay if your flirting now I'm willing and ready right here, right now




No I'm not flirting just yet but if you show me the nekkid goodness...I'll see what I can do.


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## taobear

chicken legs said:


> No I'm not flirting just yet but if you show me the nekkid goodness...I'll see what I can do.



what would you like to see??? You have a cam?? LOL


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## Zowie

Latex Gloves... are good for inflating and drawing a face on. 

But then again, so are condoms.


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## RentonBob

If I say something, take it at face value, don't look for a deeper hidden meaning. There is none


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## taobear

bionic_eggplant said:


> Latex Gloves... are good for inflating and drawing a face on.
> 
> But then again, so are condoms.



Prostate massage sounds more interesting LOL


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## JenFromOC

RentonBob said:


> If I say something, take it at face value, don't look for a deeper hidden meaning. There is none



Whatever....LOL....is this a personal attack? haha


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## BigChaz

taobear said:


> Prostate massage sounds more interesting LOL



There is a joke here


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## JenFromOC

I tend to ask my partner if I look fat in a particular outfit. I also ask my sister, my brother, my mom, my friends, etc. I expect an honest answer, because truthfully, I am obviously on the chubby side. I just want to know if the outfit contributes to my positive assets rather than the flaws. It's not a trick question, but I can only speak for myself.


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## BigChaz

JenFromOC said:


> I tend to ask my partner if I look fat in a particular outfit. I also ask my sister, my brother, my mom, my friends, etc. I expect an honest answer, because truthfully, I am obviously on the chubby side. I just want to know if the outfit contributes to my positive assets rather than the flaws. It's not a trick question, but I can only speak for myself.



I know this trick.

Not falling for that crap again!


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## JenFromOC

BigChaz said:


> I know this trick.
> 
> Not falling for that crap again!



The problem is....I need a fucking answer! If we're getting ready to go out, I need an honest opinion. Shit.


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## Zowie

JenFromOC said:


> I tend to ask my partner if I look fat in a particular outfit. I also ask my sister, my brother, my mom, my friends, etc. I expect an honest answer, because truthfully, I am obviously on the chubby side. I just want to know if the outfit contributes to my positive assets rather than the flaws. It's not a trick question, but I can only speak for myself.



On the other hand, it's very dissapointing when you think you look great just to have your significant other say that it's not flattering, thus making you feel self-contious until you can get home and change.


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## Boris_the_Spider

I have answered 'yes' to that question before, I was being honest. It did not end well for me.


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## fatkid420

men dont get hints ladies, make it clear what you want and its much easier for all of us.


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## Zowie

fatkid420 said:


> men dont get hints ladies, make it clear what you want and its much easier for all of us.



Not all women get hints either. Hints are shitty either way.


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## JenFromOC

bionic_eggplant said:


> On the other hand, it's very dissapointing when you think you look great just to have your significant other say that it's not flattering, thus making you feel self-contious until you can get home and change.



If I thought I looked great, I wouldn't ask if I looked fat.


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## RentonBob

JenFromOC said:


> Whatever....LOL....is this a personal attack? haha


LOL! No, not at all... General observation that I've seen quite a few women do


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## taobear

CarlaSixx said:


> Just because I have male friends does NOT mean they're trying to get in my pants, nor does it mean they have been in my pants in the past. And it doesn't mean they're all gay, either.



I don't know I have never had a girl.. friend I didn't think about at least once.................................................. A day hee hee hee


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## project219

bionic_eggplant said:


> Latex Gloves... are good for inflating and drawing a face on.
> 
> But then again, so are condoms.



Condoms make horrible things to draw on... the faces always drip off.


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## calauria

Just because I'm friendly with you does not mean I want you or want to fuck you. If I want to fuck you, then I will tell you I want to fuck you or something similar to that effect, so in other words if I don't say "Let's fuck", don't assume that I wanna fuck.


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## Hozay J Garseeya

Melian said:


> I would prefer if latex gloves were worn, yes.



So . . . You wanna finger paint?


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## calauria

fatkid420 said:


> men dont get hints ladies, make it clear what you want and its much easier for all of us.



You can say that again!! You sure don't any kind of hints!!!! LOL!!!


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## escapist

chicken legs said:


> No I'm not flirting just yet but if you show me the nekkid goodness...I'll see what I can do.



No saving to my hard drive please that poor computer has seen enough porn to corrupt the pope.


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## theronin23

escapist said:


> No saving to my hard drive please that poor computer has seen enough porn to corrupt the pope.



Resisting...catholic...and...pope...jokes....sooo...difficult.


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## mercy

The main thing for me: just because previous girls you were with are like that, does not mean I am. There isn't a secret formula to understanding girls. Try talking to me.


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## SailorCupcake

If a girl is pissed off and you don't understand why, don't blame her period. That's just icky and weird.


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## Tad

JenFromOC said:


> I tend to ask my partner if I look fat in a particular outfit. I also ask my sister, my brother, my mom, my friends, etc. I expect an honest answer, because truthfully, I am obviously on the chubby side. I just want to know if the outfit contributes to my positive assets rather than the flaws. It's not a trick question, but I can only speak for myself.



See, the problem is if your partner is an FA, where the honest answer would always be (without even looking) "I hope so!" 

Broader point to the women: guys may know what classy and tasteful clothing is, but if you are in the bedroom asking about an outfit, classy and tasteful is not going to be what we are looking for in the outfit at first take. Be specific in what you want to know. ("Does this look tight" "Do you think this is emphasizing my hips?" "When I move are the buttons pulling?")


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## mercy

Oh and here's a key one:

If you're that desperate for penetration that you wanna skip the foreplay, maybe you should go and take care of it yourself and then we can have proper sex afterwards, yes? Vaginas don't work how you think they do, boys.


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## CarlaSixx

We do like being told we're naturally beautiful and that we don't need makeup. It makes us try harder, but it makes us more confident, too.


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## Zowie

Myeah, one for me would be that I dont aim to look sexy and turn heads. I would rather dress to look classy, and trying to stuff me into a miniskirt and lowcut blouse just makes me feel like a skank. No offense to the girls who do have that style, its just not for me.


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## Dibaby35

My boobs are not free for you to touch at any damn time you want. This is soooooo annoying you guys have no idea. Also it can hurt!


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## Zowie

...You know, Im afraid this thread is going to start a lot of bitching towards to opposite sex now. Guys are disgusting pigs and women are nagging shrews. 
So men, even though we complain, we still love you.


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## Tad

bionic_eggplant said:


> Myeah, one for me would be that I dont aim to look sexy and turn heads. I would rather dress to look classy, and trying to stuff me into a miniskirt and lowcut blouse just makes me feel like a skank. No offense to the girls who do have that style, its just not for me.



Yup. Guys can just need a bit of training on this front.


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## Buffetbelly

I've had great success with the ladies by slavishly following the trendy example set by my personal hero and role model,* Herbie Popnecker*: http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=75045


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## OneWickedAngel

"Mami", "Baby girl", "Boo" etc., are not the appropriate ways to address a woman whose attention you'd like to attract, unless she: gave birth to you; is a female under ten years of age or you are trying to assist in curing her hiccups. 

Do not be surprised if the woman you just told "You look like my future ex-wife.", does not _get it_ and responds in a negative manner. 

If you see a woman on the street and you honestly complimented her properly and she does not respond, do not presume she's an inconsiderate bitch and immediately verbally abuse her. Unless you stopped her in her tracks and know with an absolute certainty you have her attention, she could have been preoccupied and did not see/hear you and/or she may not have even realized you were speaking to her. This is especially true if you are walking in opposite directions of each other.


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## rabbitislove

OWA I missed you!!  That made me smile, even though its sad but true.

Id like the opposite sex to know to be honest. Dont lie to me about wanting a relationship when you only want sex, and dont treat me like Im a sexual object.

Also, "huh huh you must be soo flexible because of all that yoga" when we first met will not get you leid. 

And is it so much to ask for a nice guy (actual nice, not self proclaimed self righetous nice) who hasnt been to prison or an addict (ex or still using). Serious.


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## willowmoon

mercy said:


> Oh and here's a key one:
> 
> If you're that desperate for penetration that you wanna skip the foreplay, maybe you should go and take care of it yourself and then we can have proper sex afterwards, yes? Vaginas don't work how you think they do, boys.



For all the guys that have spent most of their adult years watching porn only and not being with ... oh, I dunno ... an ACTUAL WOMAN ... this is solid advice. Even a little foreplay goes a long way. I would imagine porn flicks would make many guys think otherwise.


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## OneWickedAngel

rabbitislove said:


> OWA I missed you!!  That made me smile, even though its sad but true.
> 
> Id like the opposite sex to know to be honest. Dont lie to me about wanting a relationship when you only want sex, and dont treat me like Im a sexual object.
> 
> Also, "huh huh you must be soo flexible because of all that yoga" when we first met will not get you leid.
> 
> And is it so much to ask for a nice guy (actual nice, not self proclaimed self righetous nice) who hasnt been to prison or an addict (ex or still using). Serious.



RABBIT! What hole have you been hiding in woman?! I have friend who is a yoga instructor and OMG! -the amount of times have I overheard that "flexible" nonsense said to her! I can just imagine how often it is said in general. Obviously, each time you hear it, it's just like the very first time !


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## freakyfred

'Men are useless' jokes are for fridge magnets. Not our faces.


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## willowmoon

SailorCupcake said:


> If a girl is pissed off and you don't understand why, don't blame her period. That's just icky and weird.



Exactly. But many guys make assinine comments like that, sadly.


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## Dibaby35

A joke can be funny once. But doing it over and over and over again...ohh its not funny. I have an ex that every time he would call..pretend to be ordering a pizza. I have no clue why he thought it was funny to this day. Oh and I know you guys are saying.."why didn't u just tell him" I did! Flat out. "Honey this is not funny anymore". Then I broke it off with him finally and then he was with someone else and then called me out of the blue at work who knows why..with guess what..the same damn line. LOL I hung up.


What I'm trying to say here is that Yes we adore a funny guy but trying so damn hard is not funny at all and a huge turn off. Take the ques from your girl when they give them to you.


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## fatkid420

willowmoon said:


> Exactly. But many guys make assinine comments like that, sadly.



because girls play the "i dont feel good cause (insert reason here)" card all the time. guess what ladies, men feel pain too it is a sign that we are alive, we just dont want to sound like whiney bitches so we keep it to ourselves.

*puts in manpon*

sorry ladies its that time of the month :doh:


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## willowmoon

SailorCupcake said:


> If a girl is pissed off and you don't understand why, don't blame her period. That's just icky and weird.





willowmoon said:


> Exactly. But many guys make assinine comments like that, sadly.





fatkid420 said:


> because girls play the "i dont feel good cause (insert reason here)" card all the time. guess what ladies, men feel pain too it is a sign that we are alive, we just dont want to sound like whiney bitches so we keep it to ourselves.
> 
> *puts in manpon*
> 
> sorry ladies its that time of the month :doh:



Wow, dude. Just WOW. And no I don't mean World of Warcraft. Maybe you're meeting the wrong women (?)


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## fatkid420

willowmoon said:


> Wow, dude. Just WOW. And no I don't mean World of Warcraft. Maybe you're meeting the wrong women (?)





SailorCupcake said:


> If a girl is pissed off and you don't understand why, don't blame her period. That's just icky and weird.



i cant help it that god decided to punish women with periods because they tricked us simple minded men into eating the forbidden fruit. 

men would have been much better off had god not created women, we could have just sat in caves masturbating all day and been happy as a pig in shit.

^^ im probabaly going to hell for the above comment, for the record; it was worth it.


----------



## theronin23

fatkid420 said:


> men would have been much better off had god not created women, we could have just sat in caves masturbating all day and been happy as a pig in shit.




After actually saying that, my guess is that's how you will end up. Good luck,bro.


----------



## chicken legs

fatkid420 said:


> i cant help it that god decided to punish women with periods because they tricked us simple minded men into eating the forbidden fruit.
> 
> men would have been much better off had god not created women, we could have just sat in caves masturbating all day and been happy as a pig in shit.
> 
> ^^ im probabaly going to hell for the above comment, for the record; it was worth it.



Maybe you should go gay...BAM...woman problem solved.


----------



## Zowie

chicken legs said:


> Maybe you should go gay...BAM...woman problem solved.



I know JUST the guy for him! He's got a nice beard too.


----------



## JenFromOC

theronin23 said:


> After actually saying that, my guess is that's how you will end up. Good luck,bro.



I'm no psychic....but I think he'll end up ok LOL


----------



## djudex

rabbitislove said:


> "huh huh you must be soo flexible because of all that yoga" when we first met will not get you leid.



Fuck, now I have to think of a new line....


----------



## Zowie

JenFromOC said:


> I'm no psychic....but I think he'll end up ok LOL



...Are you guys seeing each other?


----------



## rabbitislove

djudex said:


> Fuck, now I have to think of a new line....



Like you need a line...


----------



## rabbitislove

OH WOW! Not only is every BHM I meet in real life a raging sexist, but now I can get them 24/7 on my computer! CHRISTMAS EVERYDAY OMG!!!!!

I mean about fatkid, which is a shame. Such a great beard, such a cute kid.


----------



## escapist

rabbitislove said:


> OH WOW! Not only is every BHM I meet in real life a raging sexist, but now I can get them 24/7 on my computer! CHRISTMAS EVERYDAY OMG!!!!!
> 
> I mean about fatkid, which is a shame. Such a great beard, such a cute kid.



Hey now, I'm not sexist, I think everybody should just be my slave and do my bidding!   :happy:


----------



## MasterShake

calauria said:


> Just because I'm friendly with you does not mean I want you or want to fuck you. If I want to fuck you, then I will tell you I want to fuck you or something similar to that effect, so in other words if I don't say "Let's fuck", don't assume that I wanna fuck.


Did...did you just come on to me?


----------



## johniav

To all women: tell the truth. If you are not happy just say I'm no longer happy. And don't make up a reason if you don't have one that is detailed. Just don't go away mad, girl just go away. If you don't be honest with us when you want out, us men will be condemned to an eternity that would make lucifer take pity on our situations.


----------



## JenFromOC

johniav said:


> To all women: tell the truth. If you are not happy just say I'm no longer happy. And don't make up a reason if you don't have one that is detailed. Just don't go away mad, girl just go away. If you don't be honest with us when you want out, us men will be condemned to an eternity that would make lucifer take pity on our situations.



This goes for men too....my ex was just miserable with me, but never said anything. Finally, I just left. I wish people would just be honest about stuff.


----------



## taobear

rabbitislove said:


> OH WOW! Not only is every BHM I meet in real life a raging sexist, but now I can get them 24/7 on my computer! CHRISTMAS EVERYDAY OMG!!!!!
> 
> I mean about fatkid, which is a shame. Such a great beard, such a cute kid.



Not all of us men think this way Rabbit. I for one love women I think they are the closest a man can come to experiencing divinity. If they share a love that goes beyond the physical. Of course love in it's self is more than the physical. Or should be.
:bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::blush:


----------



## MasterShake

taobear said:


> Not all of us men think this way Rabbit. I for one love women I think they are the closest a man can come to experiencing divinity. If they share a love that goes beyond the physical. Of course love in it's self is more than the physical. Or should be.



"What are you, gay?"






"Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's love: hard and fast".

*(just teasting, taobear!)

**(sorry guys, just a bit giddy about how awesome the new Futurama has been!)


----------



## Zowie

MasterShake said:


> "What are you, gay?"
> 
> "Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's love: hard and fast".
> 
> *(just teasting, taobear!)
> 
> **(sorry guys, just a bit giddy about how awesome the new Futurama has been!)



You are so sexy... would you like some champaygane?

Hahaha, he's one of my favourite characters. I need to go watch that now.


----------



## MasterShake

bionic_eggplant said:


> You are so sexy... would you like some champaygane?



"I never realized you were such a COINasseur!"


----------



## taobear

MasterShake said:


> "What are you, gay?"
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> "Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's love: hard and fast".
> 
> *(just teasting, taobear!)
> 
> **(sorry guys, just a bit giddy about how awesome the new Futurama has been!)



LOL no but sometimes I used to wonder then I check it out and realize I don't have a gay bone in my body


----------



## MasterShake

taobear said:


> LOL no but sometimes I used to wonder then I check it out and realize I don't have a gay bone in my body


Why...you want one?

(Sorry, sorry...but just like your mom, that was too easy!)


----------



## taobear

MasterShake said:


> Why...you want one?
> 
> (Sorry, sorry...but just like your mom, that was too easy!)



I knew that post was a mistake LOL

No I'm okay but thanks for the offer big boy...


----------



## Amandy

mercy said:


> The main thing for me: just because previous girls you were with are like that, does not mean I am. There isn't a secret formula to understanding girls. Try talking to me.



This, please.


----------



## calauria

If you just want sex, just fucking say so, you might get cursed out or you might score, it depends......but still be honest. Don't waste my time pretending that you want a long term relationship. Not only will you just piss me off, you might just get fucked up, as well!!


----------



## taobear

calauria said:


> If you just want sex, just fucking say so, you might get cursed out or you might score, it depends......but still be honest. Don't waste my time pretending that you want a long term relationship. Not only will you just piss me off, you might just get fucked up, as well!!



Of course I want sex but thats a byproduct of a caring relationship otherwise it's safer, cheaper and easier just to masturbate. That way you can have any woman you want and none of this do you love me crap. 

I don't know I just know what I want and it ain't a one night thing. I want a real transcending experience that goes on and on. LOL 
But I have been called crazy too.


----------



## djudex

rabbitislove said:


> Like you need a line...


----------



## freakyfred

djudex said:


>



Oh wow nostalgia bomb. Good times.


----------



## taobear

freakyfred said:


> Oh wow nostalgia bomb. Good times.



lol no kiding


----------



## rabbitislove

djudex said:


>



In there eh? Im not a cheap floozy Buy me dinner first, we got a deal. 

Actually, you can just get me a personal pan pizza from pizza hut and we're good. I am that cheap...:blush:


----------



## rabbitislove

taobear said:


> Not all of us men think this way Rabbit. I for one love women I think they are the closest a man can come to experiencing divinity. If they share a love that goes beyond the physical. Of course love in it's self is more than the physical. Or should be.
> :bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::blush:



Sorry to insult Taobear, although Im not sorry about all the Futurama references it brought about  (Good job Shake and all involved!)

The BHMs Ive dated in real life havent been class acts, so it makes me sad when I do see blatant misogyny on this board, being as it is part of a fantasy and all. However, I really do like this and think its a great attitude.

Cookies for Tao


----------



## Paquito

I find eating an apple and causing the fall of humanity to be a huge turn-on.

Jus' sayin.


----------



## Lavasse

If you like us tell us, if you don't like us tell us. Please stop using the I'm not ready for a relationship right now, I'm not saying never just not right now line. I don't care if it's true it just confuses the hell out of us lol:doh:


----------



## Paquito

If I'm acting awkward/nervous/quiet around you, I'm probably crushing real hard. :blush:


----------



## Bearsy

This is my most popular thread!

And all I've got to add is, please, ladies... Be concise. If there's something you like, or want, or don't like or want, please let us know.


----------



## Bearsy

Also question: Do women that work in food-service, i.e. waitressing, not appreciate getting hit on?


----------



## escapist

Bearsy said:


> Also question: Do women that work in food-service, i.e. waitressing, not appreciate getting hit on?



No they just don't like it when guys who they aren't attracted to do it. I've dated waitresses and whatnot that I picked up from my favorite places to eat and we had nothing but good times. I know I'm not the exception to the rule here either. I worked in the food industry for some time before I got into computers and it was VERY common to go home or go on a date with someone you met as a guest in the restaurant. I doubt its just a Vegas thing either but it seemed pretty equal guys hitting on waitresses and women hitting on waiters. Actually I know its not just a Vegas thing cause I saw the same exact thing happen in other states I was a food server in. Customers going out with servers....its really common, however just realize they can be VERY picky.


Chicken legs made a good comment cause we are talking about it...I worked in Casual restaurants she worked in high end. So the atmosphere and mood were very different and that may be a factor. I should also note the later the shift (ie Grave or Swing shift) the more you see it.


----------



## chicken legs

We appreciate flirting in the way of tips, but you can slip your info in the tip. However, I only have experience in steakhouses, night clubs, ultra lounges, conventions, and banquets.


----------



## Ninja Glutton

The opposite gender should know that turning down one day of hanging out does not automatically mean a lack or loss of interest. Sometimes we just need to be alone.


----------



## taobear

rabbitislove said:


> Cookies for Tao



mmmmmmmmm cookies 

And I think the armpit hair is okay never even thought about it. Now pubes are different that's where I eat and I don't like hair in my food. LOL


----------



## fatkid420

chicken legs said:


> Maybe you should go gay...BAM...woman problem solved.



what part of what i said would indicate i am interested in men? 

im saying women arent worth the hassel, its just better to be alone

im not falling for that again.


----------



## fatkid420

rabbitislove said:


> OH WOW! Not only is every BHM I meet in real life a raging sexist, but now I can get them 24/7 on my computer! CHRISTMAS EVERYDAY OMG!!!!!
> 
> I mean about fatkid, which is a shame. Such a great beard, such a cute kid.



women are good for three things, cooking, cleaning, and vagiana's.


----------



## escapist

fatkid420 said:


> women are good for three things, cooking, cleaning, and vagiana's.



WOW where are those women? I mean seriously? I've been a better cook than any woman I've ever dated. The cleaning well, so far I've only had one of them that was pretty good at that. Soooooo yeah, I'm just not seeing it.


----------



## Zowie

Paquito said:


> If I'm acting awkward/nervous/quiet around you, I'm probably crushing real hard. :blush:



Or you're thinking abou punching them in the dick. 



Bearsy said:


> Also question: Do women that work in food-service, i.e. waitressing, not appreciate getting hit on?



Depends on the girl, and depends how you hit on her. If you're just being a jerk and hitting on her because you can and she's got a vagina, she'll spot you a mile away. If you actually have a purpose and want to talk to her, I think she'd give you more time, no?



fatkid420 said:


> women are good for three things, cooking, cleaning, and vagiana's.



Show me your genitals.


----------



## HDANGEL15

*Now I am really confused...how did you get from *i am happy to be back in a relationship with someone who loves me as much as i love them* at 9:45am yesterday (what I am happy about thread) to....*:doh:



fatkid420 said:


> women are good for three things, cooking, cleaning, and vagiana's.


----------



## fatkid420

HDANGEL15 said:


> *[F]Now I am really confused...how did you get from *i am happy to be back in a relationship with someone who loves me as much as i love them* at 9:45am yesterday (what I am happy about thread) to....[/FONT]*:doh:



thank you for riding on the BiPolar express.

its a long story and one which really isnt good for a public forum.


----------



## Melian

fatkid420 said:


> women are good for three things, cooking, cleaning, and vagiana's.



No! Not my vagiana!


----------



## djudex

Melian said:


> No! Not my vagiana!



Your vagiana indeed!


----------



## djudex

rabbitislove said:


> In there eh? Im not a cheap floozy Buy me dinner first, we got a deal.
> 
> Actually, you can just get me a personal pan pizza from pizza hut and we're good. I am that cheap...:blush:



Aww you're not cheap!

It'd cost like $700 to fly out there and buy you that pizza


----------



## spiritangel

Even if we have been together a long time compliments go a long way

women will always at some time need reassurance and understanding as well as patience just like I am sure men do somedays

Dont lie or make promises you cant keep (and yes same for women) as it just destroys our relationship a little at a time 

Actually listen and pay attention is a big one


dont start talking to me and first conversation start talking about sex because I will think that is all you are after and you may be a nice guy but I will never find out as that is a huge turn off


oh and we are not all jelous and what not sometimes we just genuinely do not like some of the women in your life especially if they mistreat you


----------



## Dibaby35

escapist said:


> WOW where are those women? I mean seriously? I've been a better cook than any woman I've ever dated. The cleaning well, so far I've only had one of them that was pretty good at that. Soooooo yeah, I'm just not seeing it.



This goes along with where are the men that actually know how to fix things? Can I just say a guy thats handy with his tools (not just that one..lol) is such a turn on. Really if I came home from work and he made me like a new china cabinet I think I would pass out and he would get sex for a week straight. LOL

P.S. I cook and clean lol


----------



## spiritangel

I can do a few handy things at times, I suck at housework, but I do try my best and I am an awesome cook so you know it balances

also if we are living together we share the chores if I am working from home doesnt mean I am there all the time so I have to do it all


----------



## Paquito

bionic_eggplant said:


> Or you're thinking abou punching them in the dick.
> 
> 
> 
> Depends on the girl, and depends how you hit on her. If you're just being a jerk and hitting on her because you can and she's got a vagina, she'll spot you a mile away. If you actually have a purpose and want to talk to her, I think she'd give you more time, no?
> 
> 
> 
> Show me your genitals.



Nah, if I'm about to go dick-punching, I'm pretty obnoxious about it. I'm like one of those out of conrtol teens on Maury, my middle fingers in the air yelling "YA'LL DON'T KNOW ME, YA'LL DON'T KNOW MY BUSINESS."


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Ninja Glutton said:


> The opposite gender should know that turning down one day of hanging out does not automatically mean a lack or loss of interest. Sometimes we just need to be alone.



That goes both ways. Sometimes, all I really want to do is curl up with a good book and/or nap the day away, because I need to wind down and recharge; it's nothing personal.


----------



## spiritangel

Oh and dont assume I am going to know I am being hit on just because I am a woman some of us just dont get the whole subtle signal thing at all and need to have it blatently spelled out 

also being in a relationship does not spell death or the end of your freedom I am happy to do sepperate things at times and dont need to live in your pocket to be happy, just dont make me your last priority


----------



## Tad

Dibaby35 said:


> This goes along with where are the men that actually know how to fix things? Can I just say a guy thats handy with his tools (not just that one..lol) is such a turn on.



About this.....ladies, sadly the Y chromosone is not, by itself, sufficient to make one a handy-man. If it needs fixing I might take a shot at it, but do understand that I'm starting from scratch, with no idea of what I'm doing. At best it will take a while, with a few false starts along the way. If it is bugging you a lot.....why don't you see if you can fix it? Or we can have a talk about our budget and see if we can afford to hire someone who actually knows what they are doing.

Yes, some guys are really good at that sort of thing, but it is not automatic.


----------



## willowmoon

fatkid420 said:


> women are good for three things, cooking, cleaning, and *vagiana's*.



Oh and they're also good for spell checking. 

Seriously, though -- you really feel this way? Or is just merely to elicit a response from people?


----------



## FishCharming

isn't Vagiana the capitol of Slovinia?

and my 2 cents: some things should stay in your past. you may not regret them but that doesn't mean i want to know about it! Unless it's something i need to know for health's sake, keep it in the closet with the rest of your skeletons. the second you tell me about that time you took a bunch of E and woke up in a Circus Orgy, you lose "possible future mother of my next child" status and get downgraded to "drunken poke behind a dumpster and appointment for STD screening" status.


----------



## rabbitislove

djudex said:


> Aww you're not cheap!
> 
> It'd cost like $700 to fly out there and buy you that pizza



I know. Today I had to choose to either...
a) Fly to Alberta
b) Pay my rent.

Lets just say Ive found my shack for next year, but there will be no sex in said shack. Maybe pizza if I can russle together some change under the couch


----------



## rabbitislove

fatkid420 said:


> women are good for three things, cooking, cleaning, and vagiana's.



Sexism is more effective if you can spell vagina correctly. I dont know what a vagiana is. 

I only cook and clean for myself and those who can spell vagina correctly


----------



## taobear

rabbitislove said:


> I know. Today I had to choose to either...
> a) Fly to Alberta
> b) Pay my rent.
> 
> Lets just say Ive found my shack for next year, but there will be no sex in said shack. Maybe pizza if I can russle together some change under the couch



No sex for a year? Me thinks you might regret that.


----------



## fatkid420

rabbitislove said:


> Sexism is more effective if you can spell vagina correctly. I dont know what a vagiana is.
> 
> I only cook and clean for myself and those who can spell vagina correctly



why do i have to take the time to correct my errors when others can read it just fine. and i take it back women are actually good for four things, cooking cleaning, vagina's and her sister's vagina.


----------



## Zowie

fatkid420 said:


> why do i have to take the time to correct my errors when others can read it just fine. and i take it back women are actually good for four things, cooking cleaning, vagina's and her sister's vagina.



Alright, we all got the Jon Lajoie joke. (Fun fact, hes from the city next to mine!)
In other news... Actually, I have nothing else to tell the other gender. My only complains are to my ex-boyfriend, and he doesnt exactly represent the entire male population.


----------



## chicken legs

oan seriously? *I've been a better cook than any woman I've ever dated.* The cleaning well, so far I've only had one of them that was pretty good at that. Soooooo yeah, I'm just not seeing it.[/QUOTE]

Whatever. I barely have time to smell the food he cooks..lol. As far as cleaning...lets just say I'm love latex gloves..lol and huffing fumes..and don't get me started on tools for cleaning...**insert tim allen style grunt***. They say this bathroom is for men...but I want one too dang it.


----------



## chicken legs

fatkid420 said:


> what part of what i said would indicate i am interested in men?
> 
> im saying women arent worth the hassel, its just better to be alone
> 
> im not falling for that again.



What part does.. you have issues only a shrink can help so don't bother women with your issues until you get over them. However, I don't want you to be lonely so.....


----------



## Boris_the_Spider

Well this thread went fast in an ugly direction. Guess it was inevitable.


----------



## spiritangel

to get thread back on track

please dont withold affection after all it is one of the best bits about being in a relationship and I give good 



*HUG*


but not all women are mega affectionate either so get to know us as indaviduals, just like not all men are (insert whatever you want here)


----------



## djudex

rabbitislove said:


> I know. Today I had to choose to either...
> a) Fly to Alberta
> b) Pay my rent.
> 
> Lets just say Ive found my shack for next year, but there will be no sex in said shack. Maybe pizza if I can russle together some change under the couch



I would just like to take a moment to say I think you made the wrong choice  Besides, isn't the man supposed to chase after the girl?

....wait, does that count as misogynistic?


----------



## WillSpark

I personally feel the opposite gender should know that I genuinely appreciate having them around. They make up the majority of my friend base.


----------



## spiritangel

djudex said:


> I would just like to take a moment to say I think you made the wrong choice  Besides, isn't the man supposed to chase after the girl?
> 
> ....wait, does that count as misogynistic?



I am an old fashioned girl at heart I want to be chased and not do the chasing but then again I am also not every woman some women want to do the chasing is a hard call hmmm wonder if this is why there are so many single people cause we all have our own wants needs ect and they dont always match up


----------



## Bron82

Lavasse said:


> If you like us tell us, if you don't like us tell us. Please stop using the I'm not ready for a relationship right now, I'm not saying never just not right now line. I don't care if it's true it just confuses the hell out of us lol:doh:



Ditto!! Women, some of us anyway, feel EXACTLY THE SAME WAY!! 

Only guys don't typically say something like "I'm not ready for a relationship right now." I find that they typically say things like "Oh! I don't like you that way. I didn't mean to lead you on." 

REALLY, Casanova? 

How else was I supposed to take your comments when you text me things like "Feel free to think about me while you're in there. " or "Care if I join ya. " when I told you I was going to grab a shower and get ready for bed?


----------



## Zowie

WillSpark said:


> I personally feel the opposite gender should know that I genuinely appreciate having them around. They make up the majority of my friend base.



Veeeeeery true. Thank you Will. Most of my friends are guys, and they keep me sane.


----------



## Heyyou

when we have sex, don't just lay there and look pretty


----------



## Surlysomething

When you say you want a strong, independent woman, know what one really is first before you waste my time.


----------



## calauria

Hot steamy romance and treating me very special makes me super horny and you'd probably get nookie 500 times a day, but treat me like shit and you gets nada, cause you just killed it.


----------



## rabbitislove

djudex said:


> I would just like to take a moment to say I think you made the wrong choice  Besides, isn't the man supposed to chase after the girl?
> 
> ....wait, does that count as misogynistic?



I did. I have an apartment with a balcony overlooking the rockies, but you sir are a brick house. Damn :doh:

Annd being an FFA, Im used to doing the pursuing so being pursued would be nice. 

Did we just hyjack another thread to flirt with each other. Gosh darnit, it is our worst (and only) flaw


----------



## MasterShake

rabbitislove said:


> The BHMs Ive dated in real life havent been class acts.


I'm a class clown, does that help???


----------



## taobear

rabbitislove said:


> I did. I have an apartment with a balcony overlooking the rockies, but you sir are a brick house. Damn :doh:
> 
> Annd being an FFA, Im used to doing the pursuing so being pursued would be nice.
> 
> Did we just hyjack another thread to flirt with each other. Gosh darnit, it is our worst (and only) flaw



What do we have to do rabbit knock you over the head with a club ??
:bow::bow::bow::bow::bow:


I have been flirting with all you gals nothing yet.


----------



## Dibaby35

Tad said:


> About this.....ladies, sadly the Y chromosone is not, by itself, sufficient to make one a handy-man. If it needs fixing I might take a shot at it, but do understand that I'm starting from scratch, with no idea of what I'm doing. At best it will take a while, with a few false starts along the way. If it is bugging you a lot.....why don't you see if you can fix it? Or we can have a talk about our budget and see if we can afford to hire someone who actually knows what they are doing.
> 
> Yes, some guys are really good at that sort of thing, but it is not automatic.



Oh I completely understand what your saying. I just brought it up because someone mentioned earlier that women don't cook and clean anymore. So I just countered with men don't really fix things anymore either. 

Hell I'm a single mom with a home to take care of it. I've learned to do it all..*key super woman song*..yeah I mow the lawn, take out the garbage, etc..


----------



## Lamia

Unsolicited hugs are the best!! I love affection and cuddling and when my man comes up and hugs me as a simple gesture, not as a preamble to sex, it makes me very happy.


----------



## Craiger16

3 things:

1) If one person is hungry and you say your not hungry but then proceed to eat the pizza they just ordered, it gets annoying. Just say "yeah I would like some too." This is why I order large pizza's every time, because if I order just enough for me and you eat some... then I'm still hungry bah! 

2) Ladies the "I don't want to ruin the friendship" excuse is lame! To pour your heart out to a guy and get really close to him to the point you feel safe, and then go and date jerks who dont listen to you only to come crying back to us because we're always "there for you" but you could never date us because we are "too good of friends" is just terrible.

Not to be a "bad" friend but eventually we will move on from you if you treat us that way. If you don't have feelings for us or are not attracted to us you need to be honest so we don't keep hoping for something that isn't going to happen.

This last one goes for everyone:
3) *Dont Cheat*. No matter what, no excuse, no "I didn't think this would happen, no "I was drunk", no "I didn't want to hurt you" NO!

Suck it up, break it off, then go and do whatever, it's not a great feeling for the person when just got broken up with but at least they don't feel lied to and cheated on.

These 3 points are based off past experiences. They are things I wish people knew. But because I took a stand with # 2 I am much better off for it.


----------



## theronin23

Craiger16 said:


> 2) Ladies the "I don't want to ruin the friendship" excuse is lame! To pour your heart out to a guy and get really close to him to the point you feel safe, and then go and date jerks who dont listen to you only to come crying back to us because we're always "there for you" but you could never date us because we are "too good of friends" is just terrible.
> 
> Not to be a "bad" friend but eventually we will move on from you if you treat us that way. If you don't have feelings for us or are not attracted to us you need to be honest so we don't keep hoping for something that isn't going to happen.



See here for advice on that very subject.


----------



## msbard90

when a girl gets all made up for no reason at all, it's honestly for no reason at all. We're girls. Its what we like to do.


----------



## chicken legs

theronin23 said:


> See here for advice on that very subject.



I totally agree. Don't pretend to be friends when all you want to do is fuck her. You have to be honest with your intentions just as much as her. This is why I ended up with so many gay guy friends. I got tired of the bullshit from straight guys. Even if I was honest with my intentions of either being friends or being just lovers...it still got messy. SOOOOOOOOOO annoying.


----------



## chicken legs

fatkid420 said:


> women are good for three things, cooking, cleaning, and vagiana's.



If you have enough money you can get ...a cook, a maid, and a hooker.


----------



## movieinw

That some of us guy are not out just to get laid..... I want a relationship with a lady who knows who I am and won't get confused about why I spend time with her


----------



## fatkid420

chicken legs said:


> If you have enough money you can get ...a cook, a maid, and a hooker.



lady, look at my profile pic, does it look like i have money? i cant even afford a haircut

i might as well change my name to dirtpoorfatkid


----------



## chicken legs

fatkid420 said:


> lady, look at my profile pic, does it look like i have money? i cant even afford a haircut
> 
> i might as well change my name to dirtpoorfatkid



ahahahah...well damn


----------



## fatkid420

chicken legs said:


> ahahahah...well damn



so with that said do you feel like doing some charitable volunteer work for a while? i would be forever in your debt. i promise not to stick my hands down my pants or pick my nose even once while you are here. what do you say? See you soon? :bow:


----------



## chicken legs

fatkid420 said:


> so with that said do you feel like doing some charitable volunteer work for a while? i would be forever in your debt. i promise not to stick my hands down my pants or pick my nose even once while you are here. what do you say? See you soon? :bow:



I'd rather help you get a makeover and be you wingman.







Honestly..I just subscribed to betterself.net. It has lots of good advice.


----------



## Craiger16

theronin23 said:


> See here for advice on that very subject.


 
I did something very similar to that two and a half years ago...

It worked for me, but my point was that girls could realise what they are doing and even my gf admitted how dumb of an excuse it was.

BTW if I've been a good friend and a shoulder to cry on for you for a long time chances are I want more than just sex. I think it's a little close minded to always assume that's all we're after.

anyway it all worked out: 

View attachment jbcwroo2.jpg


----------



## fatkid420

chicken legs said:


> I'd rather help you get a makeover and be you wingman.



that was my DUI nick nolte point in my life

regrettably i cannot have you as a wingman because a wingman is a friend and friends are not people i want to sleep with. with that being said, because you have a vagina i cannot have you as a friend.

i have a credit card with my avatar picture as the personal logo, its the shizzy shizzy bang bang


----------



## chicken legs

This could go for either gender..but

Smaller people have a natural fear of being destroyed by bigger people when it comes to close physical/emotional contact. So if you don't have a warm/pleasing/nurturing personality ..be prepared to be alone...or have many bouts of loneliness.


----------



## Bearsy

chicken legs said:


> I'd rather help you get a makeover and be you wingman.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Honestly..I just subscribed to betterself.net. It has lots of good advice.



I'll take that offer if he doesn't want it. I could use both.


----------



## Surlysomething

If you say you're going to call, call. It's not rocket science and we don't expect a marriage proposal out of it.

Just like you hate that we think you're mind readers, we also hate having our time wasted. It IS just as important as yours.


----------



## lovelocs

chicken legs said:


> This could go for either gender..but
> 
> Smaller people have a natural fear of being destroyed by bigger people when it comes to close physical/emotional contact. So if you don't have a warm/pleasing/nurturing personality ..be prepared to be alone...or have many bouts of loneliness.






And how warm/pleasing/nurturing does a 5'9" 250 lb black woman have to be put others at ease? 

I'll tell you when I get there...


----------



## TraciJo67

lovelocs said:


> And how warm/pleasing/nurturing does a 5'9" 250 lb black woman have to be put others at ease?
> 
> I'll tell you when I get there...


 
I was more wondering why smaller people would actually have that fear?


----------



## chicken legs

lovelocs said:


> And how warm/pleasing/nurturing does a 5'9" 250 lb black woman have to be put others at ease?
> 
> I'll tell you when I get there...



ahahahah...ok


----------



## lovelocs

I could see it as a feeling that some smaller people might have, especially if they've been hurt or bullied by a larger person (and how many people haven't).

But personally, I'm scared of all non-nurturing, cold, antagonistic people, no matter what their size. 

I think it's a shame that people use the phrase "gentle giant" as if it's some kind of oxymoron. As if large and aggressive go hand in hand. I've been on the receiving end of a lot of aggression (physical and emotional), and I've confused a shitload of people by not fighting back. I think it can be even worse for men.


----------



## escapist

Ok, I'll chime in on this one. Smaller People Fearing Big People.

Once upon a time (yeah like high school era) I was perplexed at why some of my friends were acting weird around me. This was after my last major growth spurt when I went from 5'8 215ish to 6'2"ish 311 lbs-ish. My then long time friend told me, "Its because your huge and you scare people because you hurt them without even trying!". At 16 I hospitalized a 25 year old body builder by loosing it and smashing him into a brick wall until I broke his ribs and knocked him unconscious. Later in life (19 years old) I was doing Jujutsu and broke a few guys in the school and sent them to the hospital.

None of these experiences were particularly thrilling or exciting and fun. Quite the opposite, the one when I was 16 was purely cause I panicked, blacked out and went into defensive rage and hospitalized my friend who was just trying to play around. An action that to this day has this particular friend on egg shells around me and afraid to drink or party with me. I doubt he will ever truly understand how bad I felt about that night or the hospital bill I gave him. As a strange side note he seems to love telling the story to strangers if I'm around. I get a bit self-conscious every time he does it, and get to relive just a tiny amount of the regret.

To me the fear seems healthy and warranted. I continued with my martial arts training to never loose control again. I can toss a 240 lb man like he is nothing. I've choked out much bigger well trained guys as a bouncer and while training myself. Thankfully I've learned to control not just my body but my emotions. This is one of the major factors in my relationship with Chicken Legs who as a BBW is still 1/2 my weight and size. Thankfully with a bit of Jedi Mind Trick and some PUA skills she forgets that I'm HUGE next to her.

So, I help my little background story helps clear up why someone smaller might fear someone bigger. It does seem normal to me now days. For a while though, it really hurt. I felt like Frankensteins monster unlovable, and unloved. I'm just glad that its really not that case and I'm just as lovable huge (once you get to know me) as I would be small. :happy:


----------



## TraciJo67

I don't usually attribute great strength to fat people. I can see feeling intimidated by a large (and angry!) person, if his non-verbal cues are at all menacing, or in a potentially threatening situation. But I don't understand feeling intimidated by the mere presence of a fat person? They aren't any more likely to be violent than another person of any size. 



escapist said:


> Ok, I'll chime in on this one. Smaller People Fearing Big People.
> 
> Once upon a time (yeah like high school era) I was perplexed at why some of my friends were acting weird around me. This was after my last major growth spurt when I went from 5'8 215ish to 6'2"ish 311 lbs-ish. My then long time friend told me, "Its because your huge and you scare people because you hurt them without even trying!". At 16 I hospitalized a 25 year old body builder by loosing it and smashing him into a brick wall until I broke his ribs and knocked him unconscious. Later in life (19 years old) I was doing Jujutsu and broke a few guys in the school and sent them to the hospital.
> 
> None of these experiences were particularly thrilling or exciting and fun. Quite the opposite, the one when I was 16 was purely cause I panicked, blacked out and went into defensive rage and hospitalized my friend who was just trying to play around. An action that to this day has this particular friend on egg shells around me and afraid to drink or party with me. I doubt he will ever truly understand how bad I felt about that night or the hospital bill I gave him. As a strange side note he seems to love telling the story to strangers if I'm around. I get a bit self-conscious every time he does it, and get to relive just a tiny amount of the regret.
> 
> To me the fear seems healthy and warranted. I continued with my martial arts training to never loose control again. I can toss a 240 lb man like he is nothing. I've choked out much bigger well trained guys as a bouncer and while training myself. Thankfully I've learned to control not just my body but my emotions. This is one of the major factors in my relationship with Chicken Legs who as a BBW is still 1/2 my weight and size. Thankfully with a bit of Jedi Mind Trick and some PUA skills she forgets that I'm HUGE next to her.
> 
> So, I help my little background story helps clear up why someone smaller might fear someone bigger. It does seem normal to me now days. For a while though, it really hurt. I felt like Frankensteins monster unlovable, and unloved. I'm just glad that its really not that case and I'm just as lovable huge (once you get to know me) as I would be small. :happy:


----------



## spanky.pinata

i know this isnt the case for all women, in fact im sure there is a very good reason for the stereotype, but i would love men to know that when i say nothing is wrong i mean that *NOTHING* is wrong.

In fact its usually about the 5th time i've been asked "are you sure there's nothing wrong?" that there is now in fact something seriously wrong, like that fact that i'm going to stab you for asking so many times.

anyone else get this!?


----------



## escapist

TraciJo67 said:


> I don't usually attribute great strength to fat people. I can see feeling intimidated by a large (and angry!) person, if his non-verbal cues are at all menacing, or in a potentially threatening situation. But I don't understand feeling intimidated by the mere presence of a fat person? They aren't any more likely to be violent than another person of any size.



True enough, and as its been stated before I'm I have an athletes muscle mass laired by fat. I was never angry in any of those situations. I generally have happy disposition. The only thing that even came close to angry was when I panicked in fear and hospitalized my friend when he "jokingly" put me in a headlock.

The thing is my potential to do serious damage is there weather I want it to be there or not. I shattered a guys color bone and I swear I didn't even try. I just happened to collide into him a little harder than I meant too. The damage to my rep was already set before I even finished high school. I broke the football teams kicker's leg because my coach told me to hit him as hard as I could. I looked at the coach and asked him if he was sure...keep in mind I was 311 lbs. I was still growing and not far off from being the size of "The Fridge" (a size I have now passed).

I think thats the point chicken legs was making. She's talking like someone say 140 lbs vs someone 220 lbs. Let alone someone my size who is 500 lbs.


----------



## chicken legs

TraciJo67 said:


> I was more wondering why smaller people would actually have that fear?



Have you ever seen a petite lineman.lol? How about story of David and Goliath? Have you ever seen contact sports where there is a weight or height advantage? Actually you would rarely see that because it would be considered unfair. 

Its so funny that we just came back from the pool and saw two sisters (adults) trying to dunk each others head in the water. The younger sister was about 140 and the older sister was about 230. The older sister kept over powering the younger sister time after time. Until the younger sister got out of the pool.


----------



## LovesBigMen

chicken legs said:


> Have you ever seen a petite lineman.lol? How about story of David and Goliath? Have you ever seen contact sports where there is a weight or height advantage? Actually you would rarely see that because it would be considered unfair.
> 
> Its so funny that we just came back from the pool and saw two sisters (adults) trying to dunk each others head in the water. The younger sister was about 140 and the older sister was about 230. The older sister kept over powering the younger sister time after time. Until the younger sister got out of the pool.



Haha this did make me laugh xD.


----------



## vanilla_gorilla_503

chicken legs said:


> Have you ever seen a petite lineman.lol? How about story of David and Goliath? Have you ever seen contact sports where there is a weight or height advantage? Actually you would rarely see that because it would be considered unfair.



actually, i was 6'4" 345 when i was playing and i had all sorts of advantages..lol funny thing is ..i wasn't the biggest lineman on the field.


----------



## djudex

escapist said:


> True enough, and as its been stated before I'm I have an athletes muscle mass laired by fat. I was never angry in any of those situations. I generally have happy disposition. The only thing that even came close to angry was when I panicked in fear and hospitalized my friend when he "jokingly" put me in a headlock.
> 
> The thing is my potential to do serious damage is there weather I want it to be there or not. I shattered a guys color bone and I swear I didn't even try. I just happened to collide into him a little harder than I meant too. The damage to my rep was already set before I even finished high school. I broke the football teams kicker's leg because my coach told me to hit him as hard as I could. I looked at the coach and asked him if he was sure...keep in mind I was 311 lbs. I was still growing and not far off from being the size of "The Fridge" (a size I have now passed).
> 
> I think thats the point chicken legs was making. She's talking like someone say 140 lbs vs someone 220 lbs. Let alone someone my size who is 500 lbs.



I too can attest to this. When you naturally have the physique that people like we do then other folks can get very intimidated. I can pick up a full sized couch and carry it on one shoulder (well outside I can, inside the roof gets in the way ) or sling a 200 pound person over each shoulder and walk around. I remember one particular time at work we had replaced a fairly heavy and bulky part of a machine and one of my coworkers asked if I needed help carrying it out just as I tucked it under my arm and picked up my tool kit in the other hand. He looked at me with a stunned glaze and said "Oh, I guess not...", turned out it had taken two of them to carry it inside.

You learn real quick-like that a gentle touch is the way to go otherwise you leave a trail of destruction in your wake and it takes a while to shake that ogre persona that you get from not being careful. It's hard not to be nervous around the human equivalent of a rhino.


----------



## Dibaby35

Surlysomething said:


> If you say you're going to call, call. It's not rocket science and we don't expect a marriage proposal out of it.
> 
> Just like you hate that we think you're mind readers, we also hate having our time wasted. It IS just as important as yours.



Amen I'm so tired of the stupid phone games. The "wait 3 days to call" crap. If you like someone. Call them. I won't think your stalker material either. That would be the calling 20 times a day crap. Yeah don't do that. LOL


----------



## TraciJo67

chicken legs said:


> Have you ever seen a petite lineman.lol? How about story of David and Goliath? Have you ever seen contact sports where there is a weight or height advantage? Actually you would rarely see that because it would be considered unfair.
> 
> Its so funny that we just came back from the pool and saw two sisters (adults) trying to dunk each others head in the water. The younger sister was about 140 and the older sister was about 230. The older sister kept over powering the younger sister time after time. Until the younger sister got out of the pool.


 
I got all that, I just wasn't framing it in the context that you meant. I was thinking that I wouldn't be afraid of a person that I was in a relationship with, no matter what the size, because the threatening intent wouldn't be there. I wasn't thinking about accidents, as Escapist and a few others highlighted.


----------



## BLUEeyedBanshee

spanky.pinata said:


> i know this isnt the case for all women, in fact im sure there is a very good reason for the stereotype, but i would love men to know that when i say nothing is wrong i mean that *NOTHING* is wrong.
> 
> In fact its usually about the 5th time i've been asked "are you sure there's nothing wrong?" that there is now in fact something seriously wrong, like that fact that i'm going to stab you for asking so many times.
> 
> anyone else get this!?



Oh I get this...and definitely agree. I'll also add when I say something I mean it...like "I'll meet you out there I have to finish something up here first." That does NOT mean that if you go I'll be pissed for having to drive myself to the destination.

Also please please please DO NOT ASK PERMISSION to do something. Communication is great, if you want to go somewhere, just mention you're going. That way I won't include you in whatever I'm planning. And NO I won't be pissed about that either.

Hmmm...maybe I should just say, each woman is different, and just because you had an ex that was a complete control freak doesn't mean every woman is. Also if you had a passive-aggressive crazy ex, doesn't mean that every woman is passive aggressive. In fact, there are some very straight-forward blunt women out there. (I'm sure I'm not alone)


----------



## joswitch

taobear said:


> What if we need a relationship to really want to fuck and a medical record maybe a birth certificate if you look young maybe some proof that there is no husband in the closet. You never know * I have been shot at once and cut twice over old boyfriends.*



Holllllyyyyy f*ck dude! that's some bad luck you've had there!


----------



## joswitch

Melian said:


> Inspired by this post ^
> 
> 1. I am often angry for a valid reason (usually work or douchebags).
> 2. I will still fuck during girl time, provided that the bed doesn't look like an abbatoir when we're done.



Note to men:
buy two, (so when one is in the wash, you still have one to use)
big, thick, black or dark brown towels...
To be thrown on bed for happy adult fun times during that time of the month.

Before throwing said towels in washing machine, soak in COLD SALT WATER - this removes blood (any and all blood - easier when it's fresh and still wet)... then rinse with fresh water.... then throw in machine....

Trust me on this, dudes.


----------



## joswitch

Lavasse said:


> How about looking to see if the toilet seat is down and putting it down yourself instead of taking 20 minutes to bitch at us for not putting it down! You didn't walk into the bathroom backwords with a little horn going beep beep beep and then sit down and go splash. No, you walked in, looked right at the toilet, weren't paying attention and plopped down. And you yell at us for not being observant



In the nighttime girls go to pee in the dark so as not to wake themselves up...
If they sit on the cold toilet seat...
Or, worse, fall INTO the toilet...
Cos the seat was up...
They will wake up...
And they will wake up mad pissed....

Just go with it dude, you can't stop the tide coming in or the sun rising!


----------



## joswitch

JenFromOC said:


> I tend to ask my partner if I look fat in a particular outfit. I also ask my sister, my brother, my mom, my friends, etc. I expect an honest answer, because truthfully, I am obviously on the chubby side. I just want to know if the outfit contributes to my positive assets rather than the flaws. It's not a trick question, but I can only speak for myself.



So, if your partner goes "yeah, you look fat and hott!" how would that go down with you???


----------



## joswitch

mercy said:


> Oh and here's a key one:
> 
> If you're that desperate for penetration that you wanna skip the foreplay, maybe you should go and take care of it yourself and then we can have proper sex afterwards, yes? Vaginas don't work how you think they do, boys.



Note to dudes:
Provide her with orgasm(s) BEFORE yours.


----------



## joswitch

escapist said:


> *No they just don't like it when guys who they aren't attracted to do it. *I've dated waitresses and whatnot that I picked up from my favorite places to eat and we had nothing but good times. I know I'm not the exception to the rule here either. I worked in the food industry for some time before I got into computers and it was VERY common to go home or go on a date with someone you met as a guest in the restaurant. I doubt its just a Vegas thing either but it seemed pretty equal guys hitting on waitresses and women hitting on waiters. Actually I know its not just a Vegas thing cause I saw the same exact thing happen in other states I was a food server in.* Customers going out with servers....its really common, however just realize they can be VERY picky.*
> 
> 
> Chicken legs made a good comment cause we are talking about it...I worked in Casual restaurants she worked in high end. So the atmosphere and mood were very different and that may be a factor. I should also note the later the shift (ie Grave or Swing shift) the more you see it.



^Goes double for working in a bar.
Been there done that.
Was ridiculous!
In a good way!


----------



## joswitch

fatkid420 said:


> women are good for three things, cooking, cleaning, and vagiana's.



Sounds to me like you need to hire a housekeeper and buy some sex toys, fella.


----------



## escapist

djudex said:


> *I too can attest to this. When you naturally have the physique that people like we do then other folks can get very intimidated*. I can pick up a full sized couch and carry it on one shoulder (well outside I can, inside the roof gets in the way ) or sling a 200 pound person over each shoulder and walk around. I remember one particular time at work we had replaced a fairly heavy and bulky part of a machine and one of my coworkers asked if I needed help carrying it out just as I tucked it under my arm and picked up my tool kit in the other hand. He looked at me with a stunned glaze and said "Oh, I guess not...", turned out it had taken two of them to carry it inside.
> 
> You learn real quick-like that a gentle touch is the way to go otherwise you leave a trail of destruction in your wake and it takes a while to shake that ogre persona that you get from not being careful. It's hard not to be nervous around the human equivalent of a rhino.



ROFL I had an incident like that at work too! I thought they meant for me to do it myself. After I hauled the huge piece of equipment they all just looked at me stunned I don't recall what was said anymore only that they meant for me to help them not do it all myself.



TraciJo67 said:


> I got all that, I just wasn't framing it in the context that you meant. I was thinking that I wouldn't be afraid of a person that I was in a relationship with, no matter what the size, because the threatening intent wouldn't be there. I wasn't thinking about accidents, as Escapist and a few others highlighted.



Yep, its a very real aspect of some of our lives as djudex and others pointed out. I tend to be as gentle and careful as I can, but hell last night I almost took out chicken legs's legs when things got a bit playful. I can't ever put more than 1/2 my body weight on her. If I lay on her its never more than a moob or so unless I'm holding the rest of my bodyweight over her. I almost always have a close eye on her breathing, and make sure I give her breaks for air if I see her lacking oxygen at all. Every once and a while she has to tap me to get up because its just a bit to much.

She repeats very often, "I'm glad your nice". :happy:




joswitch said:


> ^Goes double for working in a bar.
> Been there done that.
> Was ridiculous!
> In a good way!



OMG I almost forgot about when I worked in a bar as a bouncer HELL YEAH your right! Just remember its VERY common for the bouncers to be dating the waitress & bartenders as well so be careful if your going to hit on them at any of those kinds of clubs.


----------



## Tad

You know what, when you and Djudex talk about that sort of thing, it makes me a bit surprised that more women aren’t into the big, tall, burly, strong sort. That sort of combination of strength and mass has to make for one hell of a potent physical presence.

I don’t think I’d ever really realized how divergent the &#8216;big guy’ world was. I mean, I knew some guys are taller than others, and some stronger than others, but I guess because I never had much interest in brawn, I never really paid attention to the degree of difference that could make. Now I wonder how much overlap there even is between the women who like the &#8216;big & strong’ and women who like &#8216;fat’ (with the implication of not so physically capable).


----------



## chicken legs

TraciJo67 said:


> I got all that, I just wasn't framing it in the context that you meant. I was thinking that I wouldn't be afraid of a person that I was in a relationship with, no matter what the size, because the threatening intent wouldn't be there. I wasn't thinking about accidents, as Escapist and a few others highlighted.





Tad said:


> You know what, when you and Djudex talk about that sort of thing, it makes me a bit surprised that more women aren’t into the big, tall, burly, strong sort. That sort of combination of strength and mass has to make for one hell of a potent physical presence.
> 
> I don’t think I’d ever really realized how divergent the &#8216;big guy’ world was. I mean, I knew some guys are taller than others, and some stronger than others, but I guess because I never had much interest in brawn, I never really paid attention to the degree of difference that could make. Now I wonder how much overlap there even is between the women who like the &#8216;big & strong’ and women who like &#8216;fat’ (with the implication of not so physically capable).



Now apply that brawn and size difference to the bedroom. I have seen many smaller partners get worn out and leave...or just keep there distance emotionally and physically.


----------



## Dibaby35

joswitch said:


> Note to dudes:
> Provide her with orgasm(s) BEFORE yours.



This is your best advice ever...lol


----------



## joswitch

Dibaby35 said:


> This is your best advice ever...lol



Not just advice... It's a way of life...


----------



## TraciJo67

That was ... well. Far more information than I was looking for. I'll leave it at that.

I guess because I've almost always been bigger than the men I've been with, the idea of size being equated to power didn't compute with me. OK. It does now.


----------



## spiritangel

I am not a china doll I will not break if your touch is more than a gentle whisper, and if you grab me anywhere to hard ect I have a voice and will let you know

Please dont put me on a pedalstool its a long way to fall, and I would rather be an equal


----------



## Esther

Tad said:


> You know what, when you and Djudex talk about that sort of thing, it makes me a bit surprised that more women arent into the big, tall, burly, strong sort.



LOTS of women are into that!! Some like 'em toned, others like 'em on the fatter side (like myself).... but either way, I don't think the big, strong lumberjack type is missing out on any love.


----------



## Esther

I certainly don't want to paint all men with one brush, but this one in particular goes out to many of the men I know:

Please don't act like your girl is a monster when your friends are around. Saying things like "Oh I just had to take a break from the old lady" or "She let me hang out with you guys tonight" is not only disrespectful... it makes you look like a whipped little bitch.


----------



## spanky.pinata

Esther said:


> ... it makes you look like a whipped little bitch.



second!! =)


----------



## Lavasse

spanky.pinata said:


> second!! =)



That's cause most of us are lol


----------



## BigChaz

Esther said:


> I certainly don't want to paint all men with one brush, but this one in particular goes out to many of the men I know:
> 
> Please don't act like your girl is a monster when your friends are around. Saying things like "Oh I just had to take a break from the* old lady*" or "She let me hang out with you guys tonight" is not only disrespectful... it makes you look like a whipped little bitch.



This this this this this this this. This.

I hate it so much when men call their wives their "old lady". It's also disgusting when I hear a guy call his wife "mom" like his children do. Ugh. It's so demeaning, dis-respectful, and gross.

How are you supposed to show a woman you love her when you are calling her an old lady? I guarantee that is not making her feel sexy about herself.


----------



## djudex

Esther said:


> I certainly don't want to paint all men with one brush, but this one in particular goes out to many of the men I know:
> 
> Please don't act like your girl is a monster when your friends are around. Saying things like "Oh I just had to take a break from the old lady" or "She let me hang out with you guys tonight" is not only disrespectful... it makes you look like a whipped little bitch.



I've never understood guys like this. If the woman you're in a relationship with makes you so miserable that you need to escape from her then wtf are you doing with her?? If you're with her it should be because you love her and don't want to be without her. Don't get me wrong, we all need our space now and again but the whole 'I finally have some freedom' mentality makes me go


----------



## OneWickedAngel

BigChaz said:


> This this this this this this this. This.
> 
> I hate it so much when men call their wives their "old lady". It's also disgusting when I hear a guy call his wife "mom" like his children do. Ugh. It's so demeaning, dis-respectful, and gross.
> 
> How are you supposed to show a woman you love her when you are calling her an old lady? I guarantee that is not making her feel sexy about herself.



OMG! Early in our relationship my late-husband thought it was cute to call me his "little babushka" because he swears he heard Gomez Addams say it to Morticia. I have no idea, I couldn't recall it, but it didn't matter I did not like it. So, of course, being my loving husband, he would call me that now and again just to annoy me. Worse he would do it in a loving tone, but I just did not like it and he didn't get it. It was bad enough in private, but he forgot himself one day and said it in public, in front of friends. Let's just say it was one of the exactly five times in our twenty-year marriage that I made a public scene. That's how much it annoyed me. One evening, three days after my outburst, while waiting at a light, we observed this hunched-over, wrinkly, really little old lady pushing an over-stuffed granny cart across the street. It was early summer and she wore a light wool coat over a heavy calf length dress. She actually wore an apron and yes, a her gray head was bound by a kerchief. I looked at my husband pointed at the old lady slowly making her way right in front us and declared "THAT, you stupid motherf*cker, is a babushka and you are to NEVER call me that again!" He looked at the little old lady, he looked at me, his mouth dropped. I think he was about to apologize but the light had changed and cars were honking behind us, so he drove. I don't know if it was the visual of the old lady, or my recent back-to-back outbursts that did it, but to his credit, he never called me that again. Except once in an anniversary card when he wrote something about being a curmudgeon to my babushka, but that was many years later and by then it was funny. 

So people, if you know for a fact your partner does not have a problem with being called some stupid pet name now and then, I still think it's insulting and disrespectful - unless you're into that but, fine. However, if you know s/he doesn't like it, especially when you've been asked/told/screamed at about it, JUST DON'T DO IT!


----------



## Paquito

OneWickedAngel said:


> OMG! Early in our relationship my late-husband thought it was cute to call me his "little babushka" because he swears he heard Gomez Addams say it to Morticia. I have no idea, I couldn't recall it, but it didn't matter I did not like it. So, of course, being my loving husband, he would call me that now and again just to annoy me. Worse he would do it in a loving tone, but I just did not like it and he didn't get it. It was bad enough in private, but he forgot himself one day and said it in public, in front of friends. Let's just say it was one of the exactly five times in our twenty-year marriage that I made a public scene. That's how much it annoyed me. One evening, three days after my outburst, while waiting at a light, we observed this hunched-over, wrinkly, really little old lady pushing an over-stuffed granny cart across the street. It was early summer and she wore a light wool coat over a heavy calf length dress. She actually wore an apron and yes, a her gray head was bound by a kerchief. I looked at my husband pointed at the old lady slowly making her way right in front us and declared *"THAT, you stupid motherf*cker, is a babushka and you are to NEVER call me that again!"* He looked at the little old lady, he looked at me, his mouth dropped. I think he was about to apologize but the light had changed and cars were honking behind us, so he drove. I don't know if it was the visual of the old lady, or my recent back-to-back outbursts that did it, but to his credit, he never called me that again. Except once in an anniversary card when he wrote something about being a curmudgeon to my babushka, but that was many years later and by then it was funny.
> 
> So people, if you know for a fact your partner does not have a problem with being called some stupid pet name now and then, I still think it's insulting and disrespectful - unless you're into that but, fine. However, if you know s/he doesn't like it, especially when you've been asked/told/screamed at about it, JUST DON'T DO IT!



I love you. :wubu:

I'm not ready for a commitment to marriage yet, but I will get there someday. :happy:


----------



## chicken legs

fatkid420 said:


> that was my DUI nick nolte point in my life
> 
> regrettably i cannot have you as a wingman because a wingman is a friend and friends are not people i want to sleep with. with that being said, *because you have a vagina i cannot have you as a friend.*
> 
> i have a credit card with my avatar picture as the personal logo, its the shizzy shizzy bang bang



LOL...my friends (guys and girls) never could understand how I can be attracted to someone and not want to fuck them. The thing is I can be attracted to both sexes from time to time. So I had to mature quickly when it came to controlling my desire so I wouldn't make the other person uncomfortable. Plus good friends are hard to find, and I never fuck (in any sense) my friends anyway. Think of it like this. You're really good friends with this guy and one day he tries to kiss you or feel you up...would'nt you feel a tad bit betrayed. Would you be pissed that they have been harboring a crush for you and trying to cozy up to you when you aren't even gay? Would you say "no thanks I just want to be friends" and hope they let it go so you can resume your friendship? 

Sorry for the rant it wasn't directed at you. You really brought a good point that a lot of people can't handle being friends with someone they are attracted to. For many I guess its like going to the grocery store hungry. 
For straight guys reading this...just imagine she has a dick. For straight women reading this..just imagine he has vagina. If you're a freaky like me..just get over it..dam..lol.


I really like this article in Psychology Today called "Can men and Women Be Friends". It has 5 challenges to a male-female friendship...

1. Defining the Relationship: Friends or Lovers?
2. Overcoming Attraction: Let's Talk About Sex
3. Establishing Equality: The Power Play
4. The Public Eye: Dealing with Doubters
5. The Meeting Place: Finding Friends

The article also discusses 6 basic truths about female-male friendships...

1. Friendship Is Not Equal Opportunity
2. Men Benefit More from Cross-Sex Friendship
3. But Women Benefit, Too
4. Cross-Sex Friendships Are Emotionally Rewarding
5. It's Not All About Sex
6. Male-Female Friendships Are Political


----------



## KittyKitten

Esther said:


> I certainly don't want to paint all men with one brush, but this one in particular goes out to many of the men I know:
> 
> Please don't act like your girl is a monster when your friends are around. Saying things like "Oh I just had to take a break from the old lady" or "She let me hang out with you guys tonight" is not only disrespectful... it makes you look like a whipped little bitch.



I hate when guys are not bold enough to kiss n' hug up on you in front of their friends!


----------



## escapist

happyface83 said:


> I hate when guys are not bold enough to kiss n' hug up on you in front of their friends!



Its ok, I hate it when girls are the same way!


----------



## KittyKitten

Can men and women be friends? I don't know. I have a tough time having male friends off line who don't become sexually interested in me. Too many want to be FWBs. It sucks because I am the only girl in my family, and I feel like I click a little better with dudes.


----------



## chicken legs

happyface83 said:


> Can men and women be friends? I don't know. I have a tough time having male friends off line who don't become sexually interested in me. Too many want to be FWBs. It sucks because I am the only girl in my family, and I feel like I click a little better with dudes.



I know what you mean..Its like can we just be friends without benefits. Just jackoff before we hang out....dang...lol.


----------



## djudex

happyface83 said:


> Can men and women be friends? I don't know. I have a tough time having male friends off line who don't become sexually interested in me. Too many want to be FWBs. It sucks because I am the only girl in my family, and I feel like I click a little better with dudes.



You can still be friends with a sexual interest, it shouldn't be that big a deal as long as you're both mature about it. If I'm friends with a woman and I'm sexually attracted to her I'll let her know (within reason of course) because it's not something you have to act on if you choose not to. Just because I'm sexually attracted to you doesn't mean that I can't not have sex with you and still hang around with you. If it's going to happen it'll happen, if not then oh well, just don't be a creeper about it.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

happyface83 said:


> Can men and women be friends? I don't know. I have a tough time having male friends off line who don't become sexually interested in me. Too many want to be FWBs. It sucks because I am the only girl in my family, and I feel like I click a little better with dudes.





chicken legs said:


> I know what you mean..Its like can we just be friends without benefits. Just jackoff before we hang out....dang...lol.



Yes, men and women can be friends. I have my FWBs, but the majority (90%) of my hetero male and gay/bi female friends were just that, friends and nothing else. We flirt notoriously and talk major crap, but for the most part the subject of sex has never been an issue. For the very few occasions it does become an issue, it's exactly as Djudex stated. We discuss it where it either becomes something more or it became a non-issue. I have only had two who felt they could not deal with me as just a friend (one before sex, one after) and the friendship dissolved.


----------



## Paquito

happyface83 said:


> Can men and women be friends? I don't know. I have a tough time having male friends off line who don't become sexually interested in me. Too many want to be FWBs. It sucks because I am the only girl in my family, and I feel like I click a little better with dudes.



It's completely possible. Most of my friends are girls, and I don't spend our time together trying to fuck them.


----------



## WillSpark

Paquito said:


> It's completely possible. Most of my friends are girls, and I don't spend our time together trying to fuck them.



Here here!

Honestly, I may be making a leap here but if your only friends of the opposite gender want to fuck you, you're making the wrong kind of friends.
(or the right kind, I guess, if you'd prefer to think of it that way)


----------



## lovelocs

Men should know:
.
I may be as tall as a man.
I may weigh as much as a man.
I may be able to work, play and ride
at your side, 
just like a man.
That doesn't make me a man.
.
And yeah, men and women can be friends without it turning sexual. You just have to train the friendship in the direction you want it to go. We can teach people how to treat us, and in a good friendship, it's worth it.


----------



## Zowie

happyface83 said:


> I hate when guys are not bold enough to kiss n' hug up on you in front of their friends!



Hah, well, it goes the other way too. My oh-so-innapropriate ex would be constantly groping, kissing, rubbing, no matter who I was talking to. Shit, I make an effort to look respectable, and it doesn't really work if someone keep putting his hands all over me.



Paquito said:


> It's completely possible. Most of my friends are girls, and I don't spend our time together trying to fuck them.



Same here, most of my friends are guys. I'm sure everyone's thought about boning everyone else, but we'd never act on that thought.


----------



## escapist

happyface83 said:


> Can men and women be friends? I don't know. I have a tough time having male friends off line who don't become sexually interested in me. Too many want to be FWBs. It sucks because I am the only girl in my family, and I feel like I click a little better with dudes.



I can be friends but it doesn't mean I'm not going to crave someone I'm actually attracted to. I've had a few female friends where there was a VERY strong mutual attraction. It was just not something either of us could act on due to current relationships. I'm not saying its easy, but they are still very worth while and amazing relationships especially if you can learn how to avoid inappropriate behavior and or chats. It was never a bad thing either. I know if things had been in a situation where any of those relationships could have been perused we both would have felt a whole lot better because we waited till we could be with each other....in short we would have had strong attraction and trust from the start.

Occasionally there were glances smiles and "looks" only once or twice did i ever discuss it with any of them where we had to just go with the "Yeah, I'm there too" give a longing look, then a hug, and let it go so we could continue being friends.


----------



## JenFromOC

A little affection goes a long way. Yup.


----------



## Surlysomething

JenFromOC said:


> A little affection goes a long way. Yup.



Agreed. And it's free, whatdoyouknow?


----------



## fatkid420

Paquito said:


> It's completely possible. Most of my friends are girls, and I don't spend our time together trying to fuck them.



notice the word "trying", admit you at least spend all your time thinking about banging them, its okay though because all men think about sex all throughout the day. God made us this way so blame him. Your balls make sperm at a rate of 50,000 a minute  i read that in sex for dummies!.


----------



## HDANGEL15

escapist said:


> I can be friends but it doesn't mean I'm not going to crave someone I'm actually attracted to. I've had a few female friends where there was a VERY strong mutual attraction. It was just not something either of us could act on due to current relationships. I'm not saying its easy, but they are still very worth while and amazing relationships especially if you can learn how to avoid inappropriate behavior and or chats. It was never a bad thing either. I know if things had been in a situation where any of those relationships could have been perused we both would have felt a whole lot better because we waited till we could be with each other....in short we would have had strong attraction and trust from the start.
> 
> Occasionally there were glances smiles and "looks" only once or twice did i ever discuss it with any of them where we had to just go with the "Yeah, I'm there too" give a longing look, then a hug, and let it go so we could continue being friends.




*SHOCKED AGAIN....what e said to a tee 

I have a few amazingly close MALE FRIENDS, that I camp with, travel with year after year...we call it brother/sisterhood..and it works for me. They always have my back, treat me with nothing but A TON of respect, and beefup my EGO whenever they have a chance and vice-versa..

*


----------



## Paquito

What the opposite gender should know: not all men are horndogs that just follow whatever their dick wants.


----------



## LovesBigMen

happyface83 said:


> Can men and women be friends? I don't know. I have a tough time having male friends off line who don't become sexually interested in me. Too many want to be FWBs. It sucks because I am the only girl in my family, and I feel like I click a little better with dudes.



Haha well I gotta tell you it's really easy for me to have guy friends cause I always end up being the friend haha I never end up being anything more. I guess its a good thing cause I don't want my friends thinking of me that way it just would be weird haha.

Just try being friend like as possible or maybe you are doing that and the guys are just dumb xD


----------



## WillSpark

fatkid420 said:


> notice the word "trying", *admit you at least spend all your time thinking about banging them, its okay though because all men think about sex all throughout the day. God made us this way so blame him. *Your balls make sperm at a rate of 50,000 a minute  i read that in sex for dummies!.



1. I don't. I make this statement because it applies to me as I'm in the same situation, and in no way am I asshole enough to spend my time thinking about banging my good friends, because that's what they are. I don't think about banging anyone much, anyway. I think more about building a relationship, and about the person, first.

2. lolGod.


----------



## fatkid420

WillSpark said:


> 1. I don't. I make this statement because it applies to me as I'm in the same situation, and in no way am I asshole enough to spend my time thinking about banging my good friends, because that's what they are.



i got the following from your last comment:

1. your good friends you speak of are all guys, are imaginary, or you are just being dishonest with the forum readers but most importantly yourself. 

2. What does being an asshole have to do with anything?

3. I noticed in your second part you change your wording to "good friends". does this mean that you think about banging your not so good friends, or how about their friends? 

let me guess, you dont masturbate either because its gross? 

to have lustful thoughts is part of life. if you dont feel them for the females who are around you i would definitely look into the possibility of being a hoto. if you have all these female friends and you arent banging them or thinking of banging them then what do you with these people socially?


----------



## fatkid420

My advice for women to eat bananna every night before bed and your man will be loyal, faithful, and tell all his boys he has the best woman in the world...


----------



## Zowie

Alright, thats enough. Fatkid, youre being offensive for absolutely no reason, except maybe to bug the shit out of us. Either give it up and be civil, or leave the board.
Wheres Symmetry Breaker when you need him? At least he came off as intelligent.


----------



## Dibaby35

fatkid420 said:


> My advice for women to eat bananna every night before bed and your man will be loyal, faithful, and tell all his boys he has the best woman in the world...



I must be tired today because my first thought was "what does potassium have to do with anything?" I need some sleep..lol


----------



## Tad

bionic_eggplant said:


> Alright, thats enough.



I agree......and 'ignore' it is


----------



## OneWickedAngel

bionic_eggplant said:


> Alright, thats enough. Fatkid, youre being offensive for absolutely no reason, except maybe to bug the shit out of us. Either give it up and be civil, or leave the board.
> Wheres Symmetry Breaker when you need him? At least he came off as intelligent.



And to quote:
"*people dont understand that all i say is just bullshit. i like to read responses to stupid shit i say because people take it so serious lol.*"

He posts something asinine. Someone responds. Threads get temporarily trashed over unnecessary bullshit. Rinse and repeat. 
*IGNORE HIM* people.


----------



## Paquito

WillSpark said:


> 1. I don't. I make this statement because it applies to me as I'm in the same situation, and in no way am I asshole enough to spend my time thinking about banging my good friends, because that's what they are. I don't think about banging anyone much, anyway. I think more about building a relationship, and about the person, first.
> 
> 2. lolGod.



It's just so weird that we're expected to want to bang every woman we come in contact with. I've never thought of my friends that way, but I guess we're a couple of weirdos. I mean the fact that I can be around friends I've known for years and not immediately start dry humping them is so wrong. I must be homosexual. 



bionic_eggplant said:


> Alright, thats enough. Fatkid, youre being offensive for absolutely no reason, except maybe to bug the shit out of us. Either give it up and be civil, or leave the board.
> Wheres Symmetry Breaker when you need him? At least he came off as intelligent.



You are awesomesauce.


----------



## theronin23

fatkid420 said:


> My advice for women to eat bananna every night before bed and your man will be loyal, faithful, and tell all his boys he has the best woman in the world...



Hey look everyone!








it's fatkid "Dice" Clay! Eat a banana, OHHH!


----------



## vardon_grip

fatkid420 said:


> i got the following from your last comment:


What I get from your comment is this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQotcW-KBIs&feature=related

Only a maricón doesn't know how to spell joto.


----------



## Paquito

vardon_grip said:


> What I get from your comment is this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQotcW-KBIs&feature=related
> 
> *Only a maricón doesn't know how to spell joto.*



I've been waiting to use this again.


----------



## FishCharming

it's waaaaaaay easier being friends with women i'm not attracted to. If i'm really interested in a woman i have a hard time being friends b/c i end up trying too hard to keep it platonic and wind up coming off as a jerk, lol.


----------



## fatkid420

vardon_grip said:


> Only a maricón doesn't know how to spell joto.




sorry i am insensitive to the spanish language, hoto's loco's for life!


----------



## fatkid420

Paquito said:


> It's just so weird that we're expected to want to bang every woman we come in contact with. I've never thought of my friends that way, but I guess we're a couple of weirdos. I mean the fact that I can be around friends I've known for years and not immediately start dry humping them is so wrong. I must be homosexual.



who said anything about expected? expected to is not the proper term i would use, more like its primal instinct programmed in our brain for the purpose of procreation. just because we are in the 21st century doesn't change thee fact we still use the reptilian part of our brain to reason. 

i just dont buy it for a second that you dont have impure thoughts about these friends you claim to have, i dont even know what these females look like or if they exist and i am already fantasizing.  

acting on your thoughts is completely different then just the thought itself. you claim to have neither which is just an out right lie. you cant lie to another dude bro, you can lie to yourself if you like.


----------



## Paquito

To the opposite gender, I want you to look at the above post. I want you study it very carefully. I know it has to burn to read through all of that nonsense, but I need you to do it.

Now, you need to know that not all guys are this way. You're going to get a fair share of men with this attitude, but just know that they don't speak for the rest of us.


----------



## fatkid420

Paquito said:


> To the opposite gender, I want you to look at the above post. I want you study it very carefully. I know it has to burn to read through all of that nonsense, but I need you to do it.
> 
> Now, you need to know that not all guys are this way. You're going to get a fair share of men with this attitude, but just know that they don't speak for the rest of us.



you must know that courtesy requires dishonesty. its hard to expect people to tell the truth when we as children are indoctrinated to believe that some lies are acceptable.

for example, when you take a child to their grandparents house for dinner and they are preparing some special dish which tastes like shit. we teach the children to lie to grandma as to not hurt her feelings. just like we teach children not to call fat people fat because they get embarrassed or offended when the child is in fact making an accurate and truthful observation. the kid is just being honest, something you were brainwashed into loosing long ago. 

what you are doing here paquito, i would have to say that your deceptive posts in this thread and numerous denials of having impure thoughts about your female friends again and again indicates to me you are attempting to save whatever image you are trying to portray here on dimensions. that type of lie would fall under the greed category, which is one of the three fundamental reasons humans lie, but i digress.

i just choose to speak on behalf of all the men afraid to comment on this post. if i have these feelings and other males i have spoke with have these feelings then one must assume based on the fact you are male and are wired as a sexual creature you too have them. like i said we are visual creatures and women are beautiful, every single woman on this earth has some quality or feature which is exquisite.


----------



## Esther

BigChaz said:


> It's also disgusting when I hear a guy call his wife "mom" like his children do. Ugh. It's so demeaning, dis-respectful, and gross.



I find that weird, too. Why would you want to fuck someone you call "mom"?



djudex said:


> Don't get me wrong, we all need our space now and again but the whole 'I finally have some freedom' mentality makes me go



Exactly... if you really can't stand being around your girl, why even date her?


----------



## Esther

fatkid420 said:


> just because we are in the 21st century doesn't change thee fact we still use the *reptilian part of our brain* to reason.



I thought we used the frontal lobe for that.


----------



## spiritangel

that making broad sweeping generalisations about all fat chicks or even women in genral is gonna get you bitch slapped or ignored


----------



## MasterShake

Paquito said:


> To the opposite gender, I want you to look at the above post. I want you study it very carefully. I know it has to burn to read through all of that nonsense, but I need you to do it.
> 
> Now, you need to know that not all guys are this way. You're going to get a fair share of men with this attitude, but just know that they don't speak for the rest of us.


Broquito,

Bro, brosef, brohan - you can't lie to a bro, brah. You also can't like to your penis, brah. And your penis can't lie to you, brah. But your hooker-maid-cook can lie to her vagina, brah, and her vagina can lie right back, brah.

You getting this brah? We're all brahs, brah, bros before hoes, hotos before photos, bananas before tacos brah. Yer throwing fatbrohan420 under the bus brah. Just cus he's getting his taco meat from another vendor's hot plate don't mean you leave your bro behind, brah. Eatin' ain't cheatin', brah.

Brah.


----------



## MasterShake

theronin23 said:


> Hey look everyone!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> it's fatkid "Dice" Clay! Eat a banana, OHHH!


Wow, Jon Stewart has aged nicely!


----------



## OneWickedAngel

:doh: Check please!


----------



## theronin23

MasterShake said:


> Broquito,
> 
> Bro, brosef, brohan - you can't lie to a bro, brah. You also can't like to your penis, brah. And your penis can't lie to you, brah. But your hooker-maid-cook can lie to her vagina, brah, and her vagina can lie right back, brah.
> 
> You getting this brah? We're all brahs, brah, bros before hoes, hotos before photos, bananas before tacos brah. Yer throwing fatbrohan420 under the bus brah. Just cus he's getting his taco meat from another vendor's hot plate don't mean you leave your bro behind, brah. Eatin' ain't cheatin', brah.
> 
> Brah.



Even Dog The Bounty Hunter thinks you said brah too much in this post.


----------



## Bearsy

So... what does one do when they drunkenly make out with their best female friend? 
Light groping included.


----------



## Zowie

Bearsy said:


> So... what does one do when they drunkenly make out with their best female friend?
> Light groping included.



Brush one's teeth?

But no... well if it's a good vibe, go make out some more, get off the internet.
If it's not... continue with life as is. No one really cares that much.


----------



## FishCharming

Bearsy said:


> So... what does one do when they drunkenly make out with their best female friend?
> Light groping included.



shoot for drunkenly making out with heavy petting included. The key here is not to let things get awkward now. keep everything normal, without pretending like it didn't happen and you just might be looking at the beginnings of a relationship, or at least a FWB situation.


----------



## chicken legs

Paquito said:


> It's just so weird that we're expected to want to bang every woman we come in contact with. I've never thought of my friends that way, but I guess we're a couple of weirdos. I mean the fact that I can be around friends I've known for years and not immediately start dry humping them is so wrong. I must be homosexual.
> 
> 
> 
> You are awesomesauce.



I don't know about homosexual but I thought you were on the bisexual side?


----------



## thirtiesgirl

chicken legs said:


> If you want us to care about you then takes notes on our personality because we are taking notes on yours. Details go a long way. Example, if you remember she likes a particular candy bar and you pick one up, without her asking for it, its better than bunch of roses or a big box of chocolates. However, don't make a big deal that you remembered and expect her to suck your cock for it..lol. That just negates all the goodness.



Testify. I couldn't have written this better myself. I concur 110%. Guys, _pay attention_.



JenFromOC said:


> I tend to ask my partner if I look fat in a particular outfit. I also ask my sister, my brother, my mom, my friends, etc. I expect an honest answer, because truthfully, I am obviously on the chubby side. I just want to know if the outfit contributes to my positive assets rather than the flaws. It's not a trick question, but I can only speak for myself.



I understand where you're coming from. I learned long ago to never ask "do I look fat in this?" because the answer is always inevitably, yes. I look fat in everything...because I'm fat. What I ask instead is "do I look attractive in this?", "Does this color look good on me?", "Do these pants fit me well?", "Does this top show off my boobs?" or "Do my boobs show too much?" if you're trying to play them down. That kind of thing.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

I've been holding this one back because I'm sure I'll get lots of flak from the straight guys here. But that's Ok; I've got my flak jacket ready.

Guys, for those of you who have a hard time keeping it up with a condom on, practice masturbating with one, Ok? You'll get better at it, I promise.


----------



## Paquito

chicken legs said:


> I don't know about homosexual but I thought you were on the bisexual side?



Nope, must be confusing me with someone else.


----------



## FishCharming

oh, here's one! ladies, please for the love of god give up the little girl voice! dont say pwease in that childish tone, it is creepy as hell... just dont do it.


----------



## fatkid420

Paquito said:


> Nope, must be confusing me with someone else.



its okay to be bisexual, 

a bisexual is someone who sticks their hands down the front of someone else pants and is happy with whatevere they find.


----------



## MasterShake

theronin23 said:


> Even Dog The Bounty Hunter thinks you said brah too much in this post.


Brah?!! 

Brah! 

Brah..? :batting:

Brah. 

Brah! 

(_The five stages of being a Brah_)


----------



## joswitch

fatkid420 said:


> you must know that courtesy requires dishonesty. its hard to expect people to tell the truth when we as children are indoctrinated to believe that some lies are acceptable.
> 
> for example, when you take a child to their grandparents house for dinner and they are preparing some special dish which tastes like shit. we teach the children to lie to grandma as to not hurt her feelings. just like we teach children not to call fat people fat because they get embarrassed or offended when the child is in fact making an accurate and truthful observation. the kid is just being honest, something you were brainwashed into loosing long ago.
> 
> what you are doing here paquito, i would have to say that your deceptive posts in this thread and numerous denials of having impure thoughts about your female friends again and again indicates to me you are attempting to save whatever image you are trying to portray here on dimensions. that type of lie would fall under the greed category, which is one of the three fundamental reasons humans lie, but i digress.
> 
> i just choose to speak on behalf of all the men afraid to comment on this post. if i have these feelings and other males i have spoke with have these feelings then one must assume based on the fact you are male and are wired as a sexual creature you too have them. like i said we are visual creatures and women are beautiful, *every single woman on this earth has some quality or feature which is exquisite*.



^Nope.
Plenty of horrible people out there.
Some of them are women.
The skanky toothless crackhead woman who tries to beg money and curses at you when you say "no".... Nothin' "exquisite" about her....


----------



## joswitch

deleted..............


----------



## chicken legs

MasterShake said:


> Brah?!!
> 
> Brah!
> 
> Brah..? :batting:
> 
> Brah.
> 
> Brah!
> 
> (_The five stages of being a Brah_)



DUUUUUDE...


----------



## MasterShake

chicken legs said:


> DUUUUUDE...


I'm not your dude, pal! 

(obscure reference?)

So, back on topic, now that the ladies are done whining about other people's pet names for each other, and the men are done trying to look classy and sensitive to the ladies, can people start being honest in this thread?


----------



## calauria

thirtiesgirl said:


> I've been holding this one back because I'm sure I'll get lots of flak from the straight guys here. But that's Ok; I've got my flak jacket ready.
> 
> *Guys, for those of you who have a hard time keeping it up with a condom on, practice masturbating with one, Ok? You'll get better at it, I promise.[/*QUOTE]
> 
> Oh gosh, girl tell me about it!! As soon as the condom is put on it dies... Geez fellas!! lol!!


----------



## joswitch

calauria said:


> thirtiesgirl said:
> 
> 
> 
> I've been holding this one back because I'm sure I'll get lots of flak from the straight guys here. But that's Ok; I've got my flak jacket ready.
> 
> *Guys, for those of you who have a hard time keeping it up with a condom on, practice masturbating with one, Ok? You'll get better at it, I promise.[/*QUOTE]
> 
> Oh gosh, girl tell me about it!! As soon as the condom is put on it dies... Geez fellas!! lol!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I held off on responding to this before:
> 
> Ladies, there have been huge efforts to get dudes to use bloody condoms.
> They are cold.
> They are rubbery.
> They smell utterly unsexy. (Apart from some lucky dudes have latex fetish)
> They often slay a boner.
> We , men, have NO conscious control over that boners boning (or not).
> There's no muscle in it, it cannot be "fixed" by work or effort.
> Practicing wanking into condoms doesn't make them "sexy"...
> Though it will take some of the pleasure out of wanking. :sigh::doh:
> *You can't really train yourself to get "better" at not being turned off by condoms*... You can only hope to be with someone you find so hott that it most of the time overrides that turn-off...
> 
> 
> But - *Responsible guys use condoms*.
> That may mean that sometimes sex is a little awkward, at that "wait, I've got to get the bloody condom on!" moment, or requires a couple of goes around to get going...
> A little sympathy*, and maybe proactive participation**, rather than blame, is more likely to get the result you desire i.e. sex with condom.
> 
> *No-one likes to get grief for trying to do the right thing.*
> 
> *Also, dudes:
> Durex ribbed.
> Best of a bad job.
> And I've tried them ALL.
> At least you can feel SOMEthing with ribbed.
> *
> (*think of the things that turn you off, ladies. Bad breath? Hairy backs? Poor hygiene? Teeth missing? Lives with his mom? No car? Surly, uncommunicative, unloving? If you "practiced" having sex with some of those turn-offs in place, do you think over time you'd enjoy it more? Probably not, eh?
> 
> **i.e. foreplay! Yes, some men need that too! Sex is not a spectator sport - just lying there, does not cut it.)
Click to expand...


----------



## LoveBHMS

> (*think of the things that turn you off, ladies. Bad breath? Hairy backs? Poor hygiene? Teeth missing? Lives with his mom? No car? Surly, uncommunicative, unloving? If you "practiced" having sex with some of those turn-offs in place, do you think over time you'd enjoy it more? Probably not, eh?



If the only thing standing between a woman and a potentially deadly disease was a hairy back, she'd probably work pretty hard at learning to like it. Condoms are not intended to annoy you, they're intended to protect _both_ partners.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

joswitch said:


> *You can't really train yourself to get "better" at not being turned off by condoms*... You can only hope to be with someone you find so hott that it most of the time overrides that turn-off...



Actually, this is not true. There _is_ a mind-body connection, guys, and if you're not willing to practice using your light saber with the safety on, you're just not going to make it to Jedi master. Capiche?

I had a sexual partner who seriously lost his boner every time the condom went on. I mean, _every time_. I've had other partners who might lose it occasionally, or lose it and have to work on finding it again. But this guy couldn't keep it up _at all_ once the condom was on. Once the condom was on and the boner gone, it wasn't coming back.

Since I don't do bareback with casual sex partners, we weren't able to do the deed until he figured out how he was going to handle it. I suggested that he start masturbating with a condom on, and within about a month, things improved to the point that he could keep a boner for a few minutes with a condom. Within 2 months, the issue was practically gone.

The more he practiced and got used to the feeling of having a condom on, the better he got. Additionally, his _brain_ got used to it too, since he usually spent a fair amount of time fantasizing while he was jerkin' the gherkin. Once that brain-body connection started happening on a regular basis, wearing a condom was no problem for him when we had sex.

Lastly, consider this: why do guys always expect women to take care of the birth control and pop or inject potentially harmful hormones into our bodies that can often lead to blood clots, or insert uncomfortable IUDs, when getting better with a condom is only a matter of practice doing something you guys do on a regular basis anyway? I get tired of having the birth control issue always left up to women when it's _your_ spunk we're trying to avoid. You take care of the spunk. We'll take care of the rest.


----------



## joswitch

thirtiesgirl said:


> Actually, this is not true. There _is_ a mind-body connection,


 
Which is tenuous at best. You don't live in a male body, so yeah, maybe qualify your statements a little to acknowledge that.




> guys, and if you're not willing to practice using your light saber with the safety on, you're just not going to make it to Jedi master. Capiche?
> 
> I had a sexual partner who seriously lost his boner every time the condom went on. I mean, _every time_. I've had other partners who might lose it *occasionally*, or lose it and *have to work on finding it again.*



Occasionally = pretty normal.

Also:
I notice how you put the onus on the guy - in your world HE, and he alone, is responsible for his being turned on.
I've also noticed how some women (online etc.) put the blame for their not being turned on, onto their man.
So whatever happens, it's the guys fault.
That's ever so fair, huh? /sarcasm

Seriously, there should be at least two people ACTIVELY taking part in sex.
Sex should not be something done to you or by you, it's something you do with / together.



> But this guy couldn't keep it up _at all_ once the condom was on. Once the condom was on and the boner gone, it wasn't coming back.
> 
> Since I don't do bareback with casual sex partners, we weren't able to do the deed until he figured out how he was going to handle it. I suggested that he start masturbating with a condom on, and within about a month, things improved to the point that he could keep a boner for a few minutes with a condom. Within 2 months, the issue was practically gone.
> 
> The more he practiced and got used to the feeling of having a condom on, the better he got. Additionally, his _brain_ got used to it too, since he usually spent a fair amount of time fantasizing while he was jerkin' the gherkin. Once that brain-body connection started happening on a regular basis, wearing a condom was no problem for him when we had sex.



^Just cos it worked for that ONE guy, does not mean it works for most, or all guys.

Also, I'd like us to take a moment to imagine a scenario where a woman found herself utterly turned off by sex, or some part of it... Now imagine her bloke advising her to practice on her own to get "better" at it.
Doesn't sound so funny haha that way round, huh?



> Lastly, consider this: why do guys always expect women to take care of the birth control and pop or inject potentially harmful hormones into our bodies that can often lead to blood clots, or insert uncomfortable IUDs, when getting better with a condom is only a matter of practice doing something you guys do on a regular basis anyway? I get tired of having the birth control issue always left up to women when it's _your_ spunk we're trying to avoid. You take care of the spunk. We'll take care of the rest.



You missed this in my last post, then:
*Responsible guys use condoms.*


----------



## joswitch

LoveBHMS said:


> If the only thing standing between a woman and a potentially deadly disease was a hairy back, she'd probably work pretty hard at learning to like it. Condoms are not intended to annoy you, they're intended to protect _both_ partners.



You missed the point, entirely. :doh:

and you clearly missed this too:
*
Responsible guys use condoms.*

Maybe I should just put it in my sig, eh?


----------



## Guinness

joswitch said:


> You missed the point, entirely. :doh:
> 
> and you clearly missed this too:
> *
> Responsible guys use condoms.*
> 
> Maybe I should just put it in my sig, eh?



Every guy here owes you some rep.


----------



## rabbitislove

MasterShake said:


> Brah?!!
> 
> Brah!
> 
> Brah..? :batting:
> 
> Brah.
> 
> Brah!
> 
> (_The five stages of being a Brah_)



Where is that "curse you rep gods" kitty when you need him?

This is AMAZING and I cant rep you anymore


----------



## Zowie

..Why is there an argument over this? Condoms suck for both partners, but you gotta live with them. The alternatives are waaaaay worse.


----------



## rabbitislove

Call me crazy but I actually dont mind condoms. I love the Trojan pleasure pack, Ive been getting it since I started having sex. (Especially the shared pleasure, and her pleasure, those are great )


----------



## thirtiesgirl

joswitch said:


> Which is tenuous at best. You don't live in a male body, so yeah, maybe qualify your statements a little to acknowledge that.



Hon, men and women aren't all that different. I'm not going to get aroused unless my mind's involved, and as much as you might want to argue that 'the little head' is in control for all men (which I really think is a disservice to men), I don't think the tent pole will rise without a little mental stimulation.



joswitch said:


> Also:
> I notice how you put the onus on the guy - in your world HE, and he alone, is responsible for his being turned on.



You misconstrue my words. He's not responsible for being turned on. He's responsible for getting the condom on his tallywhacker. In my experience, it's not a job that should take more than 15 seconds, and is usually done right before penetration. 15 seconds is really not enough time for a guy to lose his hard-on, and if he does, that's a problem because it kind of ruins the moment, wouldn't you agree? I'm happy to help with with that process once or twice, but if I continually have to coax an erection from a guy because he can't keep it up with a condom on, he's not going to make it as my sexual partner. I like a guy with some _experience_, not a guy who just talks the talk, but can't walk the walk.



joswitch said:


> Also, I'd like us to take a moment to imagine a scenario where a woman found herself utterly turned off by sex, or some part of it... Now imagine her bloke advising her to practice on her own to get "better" at it. Doesn't sound so funny haha that way round, huh?



Are you young enough to not yet know the difference between having sex and a hard-on? Just because you get a boner doesn't mean you've had good sex. I'm not advising the guy to get better at sex; just learn to maintain his erection. Geez. You'd think I'd told you to build the Empire State Building or something with all the complaints you're making here.


----------



## djudex

thirtiesgirl said:


> Lastly, consider this: why do guys always expect women to take care of the birth control and pop or inject potentially harmful hormones into our bodies that can often lead to blood clots, or insert uncomfortable IUDs, when getting better with a condom is only a matter of practice doing something you guys do on a regular basis anyway? I get tired of having the birth control issue always left up to women when it's _your_ spunk we're trying to avoid. You take care of the spunk. We'll take care of the rest.



Actually I'd totally be okay with getting a vasectomy. Shoot some babymakers into a test tube for posterity and get the ol' happysack slipknot done.


----------



## MasterShake

bionic_eggplant said:


> ..Why is there an argument over this? Condoms suck for both partners, but you gotta live with them. The alternatives are waaaaay worse.


Er, technically, if the actual _alternative_ was worse, men would accept condoms whole-heartedly! 

Now, if we're speaking about the potential _consequences_ of the alternatives.... 

I'm finding the condom talk hilarious - I never knew they were so similar to politics (it's always the other side's responsibility) 

Not to touch that thread with a ten-foot penis (dammit - where's the pervy animated suggestive eyebrow-raising smiley when I needs it?!!), but to just make a few comments:



joswitch said:


> Ladies, there have been huge efforts to get dudes to use bloody condoms.


This could be your problem right here (ba dum ting!).

(I keed, I keed my British brothers from another mother...country)



> We , men, have NO conscious control over that boners boning (or not).


This is partially true. Believe it or not ladies, sometimes the little guy (or, in MasterShake's case, the Tremendously Large Guy...dammit, where's that smiley?!! Someone get on this!!!) does have a mind of its own regarding arousal - sometimes getting perky when you don't want it to , sometimes taking the night off when you want it working overtime.

Condoms are no fun, but I've never had a problem with them. But I can't really blame some guys if that is a big mental or physical turn off.



> There's no muscle in it, it cannot be "fixed" by work or effort.


Here I must disagree. I put a whole lot of muscle and work into my penis, and I find the effort usually pays off - heck, sometimes the results are noticeable in minutes!!!



> Durex ribbed.


I swear to G-d you wrote "djudex" there. 



thirtiesgirl said:


> Lastly, consider this: why do guys always expect women to take care of the birth control and pop or inject potentially harmful hormones into our bodies that can often lead to blood clots, or insert uncomfortable IUDs, when getting better with a condom is only a matter of practice doing something you guys do on a regular basis anyway?


And to think the pill used to be liberating!



> I get tired of having the birth control issue always left up to women when it's _your_ spunk we're trying to avoid. You take care of the spunk. We'll take care of the rest.


It always comes back to the semen! Maybe if you ladies could keep your eggs out of our sperm, there wouldn't be any issues here in the first place!



rabbitislove said:


> Where is that "curse you rep gods" kitty when you need him?
> 
> This is AMAZING and I cant rep you anymore


No prob, I still :wubu: all the same!


----------



## djudex

MasterShake said:


> I swear to G-d you wrote "djudex" there.



...I HAVE A NEW GOAL IN LIFE!! I WILL NOT REST UNTIL THERE IS A DJUDEX BRAND OF CONDOMS!!

They even slang up good - "Hey brah, you have any djudes in yer drawer?"


----------



## Paquito

djudex said:


> ...I HAVE A NEW GOAL IN LIFE!! I WILL NOT REST UNTIL THERE IS A DJUDEX BRAND OF CONDOMS!!
> 
> They even slang up good - "Hey brah, you have any djudes in yer drawer?"



You can't even spell the brandname right. You are a marketing disaster.


----------



## MasterShake

djudex said:


> ...I HAVE A NEW GOAL IN LIFE!! I WILL NOT REST UNTIL THERE IS A DJUDEX BRAND OF CONDOMS!!
> 
> They even slang up good - "Hey brah, you have any djudes in yer drawer?"


"Brah, Ima 'bout to hit that, brah!"
"Brah, you need a brah?"
"Nah brah, I'm brahbacking it."
"Brah! Real brahs use brahs!"
"For brah?!"
"For brah, brah! You gotta wrap that brah! You don't know what kind of brahs she got down there. You want little brahs running around in 9 months?!!"
"No way brah! Um...you got any brahs, brah?"
"Only the best, brah - DJUDEX brand brahs, brah. Brahhed for her pleasure, brah!"


----------



## FishCharming

as soon as the male birth control pill becomes available i am all over that shit! and the whole argument that men wouldn't be responsible enough to take it is nonsense; i don't know any guys who wouldn't eat that little pink pill religiously, no matter the side effects!

and condoms suck, hands down; wearing a condom is like eating your favorite food while it's inside a ziplock bag. that doesn't mean i won't wear one, i'm not stupid. it just means that i'd prefer a monogamous relationship where contracting a disease isn't a possibility.


----------



## MasterShake

I r disapoint that no 1 has made an "every sperm is sacred" post yet!

PEOPLE YOU NEED TO GET ON THE BALL HERE!!!


----------



## RentonBob

rabbitislove said:


> Call me crazy but I actually dont mind condoms. I love the Trojan pleasure pack, Ive been getting it since I started having sex. (Especially the shared pleasure, and her pleasure, those are great )



I don't mind condoms either, especially since it means I'm having sex lol.... :bow:


----------



## FishCharming

Every sperm is sacred! Using a condom is an insult to God! and so is premarital sex! and overindulging in food! Repent and submit yourself to God's mercy!

... ... ... or maybe just go eat some ice cream, all good either way


----------



## thirtiesgirl

djudex said:


> Actually I'd totally be okay with getting a vasectomy. Shoot some babymakers into a test tube for posterity and get the ol' happysack slipknot done.



Yay! :applause: ^5!



MasterShake said:


> Condoms are no fun, but I've never had a problem with them. But I can't really blame some guys if that is a big mental or physical turn off.



And I don't feel I'm blaming here. What I'm saying is: I know it happens sometimes. But if it happens more often than not, it's time to get some practice, so that when the moment arrives, we don't have any false starts.



MasterShake said:


> And to think the pill used to be liberating!



I understand you're going for humor here, and while I agree that, on the surface, the pill is liberating, for fat women who have blood pressure and cholesterol issues, the pill can be hazardous. Since this is a size acceptance board, I would assume most guys would take that into consideration.



MasterShake said:


> It always comes back to the semen! Maybe if you ladies could keep your eggs out of our sperm, there wouldn't be any issues here in the first place!



Hey, they're hidden away in their secret place, just floating around, doing their own eggy things. It's _your_ sperm who are fighting their way up there, like manifest destiny or something, to find them and turn them into spawn.


----------



## calauria

joswitch said:


> calauria said:
> 
> 
> 
> I held off on responding to this before:
> 
> Ladies, there have been huge efforts to get dudes to use bloody condoms.
> They are cold.
> They are rubbery.
> They smell utterly unsexy. (Apart from some lucky dudes have latex fetish)
> They often slay a boner.
> We , men, have NO conscious control over that boners boning (or not).
> There's no muscle in it, it cannot be "fixed" by work or effort.
> Practicing wanking into condoms doesn't make them "sexy"...
> Though it will take some of the pleasure out of wanking. :sigh::doh:
> *You can't really train yourself to get "better" at not being turned off by condoms*... You can only hope to be with someone you find so hott that it most of the time overrides that turn-off...
> 
> 
> But - *Responsible guys use condoms*.
> That may mean that sometimes sex is a little awkward, at that "wait, I've got to get the bloody condom on!" moment, or requires a couple of goes around to get going...
> A little sympathy*, and maybe proactive participation**, rather than blame, is more likely to get the result you desire i.e. sex with condom.
> 
> *No-one likes to get grief for trying to do the right thing.*
> 
> *Also, dudes:
> Durex ribbed.
> Best of a bad job.
> And I've tried them ALL.
> At least you can feel SOMEthing with ribbed.
> *
> (*think of the things that turn you off, ladies. Bad breath? Hairy backs? Poor hygiene? Teeth missing? Lives with his mom? No car? Surly, uncommunicative, unloving? If you "practiced" having sex with some of those turn-offs in place, do you think over time you'd enjoy it more? Probably not, eh?
> 
> **i.e. foreplay! Yes, some men need that too! Sex is not a spectator sport - just lying there, does not cut it.)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Well, I read that there is a gel that will be available soon that will kill the HIV/AIDS virus. I'm not sure about other STIs. It would be great if a gel was invented that would kill everything.
Click to expand...


----------



## CastingPearls

calauria said:


> joswitch said:
> 
> 
> 
> Well, I read that there is a gel that will be available soon that will kill the HIV/AIDS virus. I'm not sure about other STIs. It would be great if a gel was invented that would kill everything.
> 
> 
> 
> well....except for the people using it...LOL
Click to expand...


----------



## Zowie

MasterShake said:


> And to think the pill used to be liberating!



And I still think it totally is. I mean, yes, it's only the chick's responsability to take them, but at least I know if I get preggers it's my own fault. It's not a problem I want, and I would have a lot of trouble putting trust into a guy if there was such a thing as the "male pill".

But either way... icky diseases are icky. Like Fish said, it's just better to stay in a monogamous relashionship where a certain amount of trust can be accorded to get rid of the damned condom.


----------



## joswitch

bionic_eggplant said:


> ..Why is there an argument over this? Condoms suck for both partners, but you gotta live with them. The alternatives are waaaaay worse.



This is *not* an argument about whether to use condoms or not.
*Condoms should be used.*

The argument is about three things, the first two are mainly to do with attitude:

1 - It's mad presumptuous of a woman to presume she knows better than a man/men how his/their body(ies) responds sexually, to any one particular act/thing, in the face of personal testimony to the opposite. (testimony *snerk*  ) 
And it's mad presumptuous of a man to presume he knows better than a woman/women how her/their body(ies) responds sexually, to any one particular act/thing, in the face of personal testimony to the opposite.

Given, of course, that both are of roughly equal "experience". There's room for teaching and learning by doing, clearly from both sides... Not so much room for lectures and "here take this - go and train yourself"... 

The point of this thread, as titled, was for men to tell women stuff - about men. And for women to tell men stuff - about women.


2 - There's a frequent attitude - but by no means 100% of people - that sex is something men do TO women. And that therefore all concerns re. the getting of bonerz and the making of all moves pre- and during sex is down to men. That attitude was implicit in 30sgirls post. I strongly disagree with that attitude.


3 - A man's penis and its boner status or not, is only tenuously linked to conscious control. It does not have any muscle tissue in it, nor bones, nor joints. It's not a miniature arm, that we could do dumbbell curls with.  It's made of spongey tissue that fills up with blood, (that blood reservoir is in the spleen - which is why guys who lose their spleen cannot get teh bonerz) and the little muscles that control the filling blood vessels are not part of a man's voluntary / consciously controlled muscle set.
There's a lot of subconscious (mind) and physiological (body) stuff going on.
Yes, you can try and create subconscious associations through entrainment (build your own fetish!) but whether or not that will work - *mileage will vary greatly* depending on what you're trying to entrain to and on the individual. Results are very far from guaranteed - contrary to 30sgirl's original assertion.


----------



## calauria

joswitch said:


> Which is tenuous at best. You don't live in a male body, so yeah, maybe qualify your statements a little to acknowledge that.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Occasionally = pretty normal.
> 
> Also:
> I notice how you put the onus on the guy - in your world HE, and he alone, is responsible for his being turned on.
> I've also noticed how some women (online etc.) put the blame for their not being turned on, onto their man.
> So whatever happens, it's the guys fault.
> That's ever so fair, huh? /sarcasm
> 
> Seriously, there should be at least two people ACTIVELY taking part in sex.
> Sex should not be something done to you or by you, it's something you do with / together.
> 
> 
> 
> ^Just cos it worked for that ONE guy, does not mean it works for most, or all guys.
> 
> *Also, I'd like us to take a moment to imagine a scenario where a woman found herself utterly turned off by sex, or some part of it... Now imagine her bloke advising her to practice on her own to get "better" at it.
> Doesn't sound so funny haha that way round, huh?*
> 
> You missed this in my last post, then:
> *Responsible guys use condoms.*



Actually, sex therapists do suggest women to masturbate a certain way in order to be able to have an orgasm with a male partner.


----------



## djudex

Paquito said:


> You can't even spell the brandname right. You are a marketing disaster.



That's the slang version, djudes.

Brah, dude, djudes....work with me here!!


----------



## Paquito

I'd be fine with getting a vasectomy too. Maybe save some in a sperm bank, but I really have no desire to reproduce.

Djudes: Keep your little brahs in place, brah!


----------



## thirtiesgirl

joswitch said:


> The point of this thread, as titled, was for men to tell women stuff - about men. And for women to tell men stuff - about women.



I am telling you something about women, but with all your defenses up and your argumentative attitude, you keep missing it. Let me try it again: women don't like it when you can't keep it up with a condom on. There. Does that make more sense? Now stop whining and go get some practice.


----------



## calauria

All of you have some smart ass mouths. And, I LOVE IT!!! LOL!!

Cheeky, so cheeky!


----------



## thirtiesgirl

calauria said:


> All of you have some smart ass mouths. And, I LOVE IT!!! LOL!!
> 
> Cheeky, so cheeky!



Heh. Sorry, my inner bitch couldn't stay contained any longer, apparently. She fought her way to the surface on that one.


----------



## calauria

thirtiesgirl said:


> Heh. Sorry, my inner bitch couldn't stay contained any longer, apparently. She fought her way to the surface on that one.



Oh, don't apologize!! That's a very effective and attractive quality in a woman. A person has no choice but to listen to what you have to say.


----------



## Zowie

calauria said:


> Oh, don't apologize!! That's a very effective and attractive quality in a woman. A person has no choice but to listen to what you have to say.



...I dunno, I consider myself damned horrid if I decide to have attitude. I would never call it attractive, no?


----------



## MasterShake

bionic_eggplant said:


> ...I dunno, I consider myself damned horrid if I decide to have attitude. I would never call it attractive, no?


What's wrong with a woman having a little sass and swagger, a little piss and vinegar, a little fish and chips, a little mesquite and honey-flavored, a little peanut butter and jelly, a little milk and cookies, a...wait, what were we discussing?


----------



## MasterShake

joswitch said:


> It's mad presumptuous of a woman to presume


----------



## joswitch

thirtiesgirl said:


> Hon, men and women aren't all that different. I'm not going to get aroused unless my mind's involved, and as much as you might want to argue that 'the little head' is in control for all men (which I really think is a disservice to men), I don't think the tent pole will rise without a little mental stimulation.



Men and women DO differ.
Especially in the sexxay pipes department.
Yeah, conscious thoughts have tenuous something to do with boners.
But it ain't the main thing.
Exhibit A: *morning glory* / morning wood. (sorry, can't post pics, forum rules)
No, it isn't THAT hard pretty much every morning cos I was having a sexxay dream. Doesn't matter what I was dreaming of. If anything at all.

And:

I'm not speaking for "all" men.
But, honey (as we're on such familiar terms here,  ), I am a man.
And you ain't.
And I know from direct, first hand experience that your belief that all men can entrain themselves so that condoms never, ever cause an "issue" during sex - just isn't so. And I'm not unique in that experience.




> You misconstrue my words. He's not responsible for being turned on.



Turned on is what this is all about.
Turned on = boner.
Not turned on = no boner.
Condom = turn off.
Yeah, we gotta live with it.
And be as upbeat and positive about it as possible.
But let's not pretend it'd never a problem, nor that if a guy "just practices and tries hard enough" it'll be ok, every time. 
Cos y'know, maybe it won't, sometimes.
And that oughtta be ok. (see below)



> He's responsible for getting the condom on his tallywhacker. In my experience, it's not a job that should take more than 15 seconds, and is usually done right before penetration. 15 seconds is really not enough time for a guy to lose his hard-on,



That depends.
Is it dark? 
Do I have one of my hands busy still attending to her pleasure while I'm trying to open the packet with my teeth?
Have I tried to put the damn thing on the wrong way round the first time?
Did I just get a cramp in my leg?

And 

Is there a woman sat watching me and then looking critically at a stop watch, tutting and sighing when it the hand creeps up to the 15 second mark? Cos - yeah - boner slayer!

Also: tallywhacker??? :huh:



> and if he does, that's a problem because it kind of ruins the moment, wouldn't you agree?



F'sure.

But it's not the end of happy fun times, if the two of you can put it aside, go around the houses together (kissing, hands, oral, all that good stuff) 
maybe he can get you to the O some other way... 
and then maybe you can try again, and lots of times - it works great then! 

It is the end of happy fun times, if she just kinda lies there, doesn't touch you or kiss you, stares at you and maybe sighs and is all peeved and shiz...

I've been with girls who've shown the former attitude and they've tended to be girls that I've gone on to have LTRs with, and who have had mucho orgasmos off the back of that.
I've been with girls who've shown the latter attitude - and yeah - that's their last date with me.



> I'm happy to help with with that process once or twice, but if I continually *have to coax an erection* from a guy because he can't keep it up with a condom on, he's not going to make it as my sexual partner.



^This implies that you're at least joining in. Cool.
Seriously, there are women out there who just. lie. there. and expect.
Do not want. 

And yeah, if it's EVERY time? IssUE! 



> I like a guy with some _experience_, not a guy who just talks the talk, but can't walk the walk.
> Are you young enough to not yet know the difference between having sex and a hard-on? Just because you get a boner doesn't mean you've had good sex. I'm not advising the guy to get better at sex; just learn to maintain his erection. Geez. You'd think I'd told you to build the Empire State Building or something with all the complaints you're making here.



^Didja even look at my profile pic?
If so, I'll take it as a complement that you might think I'm "young".
And yeah, of course I know there's loooaaaads more to good sex than getting a boner!* It was you who was complaining, specifically, about the lack of/unreliable bonerz in your bed!*

And y'know what? 
You'd be waaaaay better off advising guys to get better at sex - 
better with their hands, 
better with oral, 
better with toys...
All of THOSE types of sex are under conscious control!
We, guys, can learn those skills and employ them - on demand!
Anxiety* can = less bonerz.
Not worrying, cos you've already given her Os pre-bonering can = more bonerz! 
And that was what you were after with your original post, wasn't it!?
(e.g. *about getting / keeping bonerz / getting bloody condoms on / keeping bloody condoms on)

And finally:
*Ladies - a request* - 
DO tell your man the way YOU, in particular, like (or do not) those hands/oral/toys things.
If your fella is GGG he'll go out of his way to provide you pleasure.
And will probably love doing so, for you.
Yeah, some of us are already good at this, what with experience and observation. 
But all women are not the same**! 
So maybe your needs are different to his last (2 or 3 or 6) gfs!?

(**e.g. I had a female friend who can ONLY come with vibration (a fair % of women have this, apparently). She has faked orgasm every single time she has sex with her BF for five bloody years.... cos she didn't want to "hurt his feelings" by asking for what she needs.... like: "baby, do me with this vibe, please!". I think that's v.sad. For both of them. )


----------



## Buffetbelly

Sounds like we have a lot of sensitive new age guys here on the BHM/FFA board:

*Sensitive*[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][FONT=Arial, sans-serif]New-Age[/FONT][/FONT]*Guys*
*from the Christine Lavin LP "Attainable Love"*​ 

*Spoken: Sing along, it will help you with your male bonding kind-of-thing...*​ 
*Who like to talk about their feelings?*
*(Sensitive New-Age Guys)*
*Who's into crystal, who's into healing?*
*(Sensitive New-Age Guys)*
*Who like to dress like *[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Richard [/FONT][FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Simmons[/FONT][/FONT]*?*
*(Sensitive New-Age Guys)*
*Who are hard to tell from women?*
*(Sensitive New-Age Guys)*
*Who like to cry at weddings, who think "Rambo" is upsetting?*
*(Sensitive New-Age Guys)*
*Who tape "Thirty-Something" on their VCR's?*
*(Sensitive New-Age Guys)*
*Who's got child-on-board stickers on their cars?*
*(Sensitive New-Age Guys)*​ 
*Whose last names are hyphenated?*
*(Sensitive New-Age Guys)*
*Who loved "Three Men and a Baby", a *[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][FONT=Arial, sans-serif]movie[/FONT][/FONT]* I hated?*
*(Sensitive New-Age Guys)*
*Who's consciousness is constantly raising?*
*(Sensitive New-Age Guys)*
*Whose tax-free income is amazing?*
*(Sensitive New-Age Guys)*
*Who think that red meat is disgusting?*
*(Sensitive New-Age Guys)*
*Who's into UFO's, channelling, and dusting?*
*(Sensitive New-Age Guys)*
*Who believes us when we say we have pre-menstrual syndrome?*
*(Sensitive New-Age Guys)*
*Who doesn't know who plays in the Seattle Kingdome?*
*(Sensitive New-Age Guys)*​ 
*Spoken: Let's ask these guys who plays in the Seattle Kingdome...*
*Hey, do you know who plays in the Seattle Kingdome?*
*(Mumble...mumble...)*
*Oh, good answer, good answer!*​ 
*Who likes *[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][FONT=Arial, sans-serif]music[/FONT][/FONT]* that's repetitious?*
*(Sensitive New-Age Guys)*
*Who likes *[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][FONT=Arial, sans-serif]music[/FONT][/FONT]* that's repetitious?*
*(Sensitive New-Age Guys)*
*Who's concerned about your orgasm?*
*(silence)*
*Spoken: ...Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute, you guys said you were sensitive?*
*(Well, Christine...we're sensitive -- but we're not *that* sensitive!)*​ 
*I guess it's more important that they have 'em*
*(Sensitive New-Age Guys)*
*Who carries the baby on his back?*
*(Sensitive New-Age Guys)*
*Who thinks that Shirley McLaine is on the inside track?*
*(Sensitive New-Age Guys)*
*Who sings on singalongs even when they can't stand stupid singalong *[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][FONT=Arial, sans-serif]songs[/FONT][/FONT]*?*
*(Sensitive New-Age Guys)*​ 
*(Spoken: Thank you for sharing.)*​


----------



## joswitch

calauria said:


> Actually, sex therapists do suggest women to masturbate a certain way in order to be able to have an *orgasm with a male partner*.



Really? I can see the idea of masturbating to get to know your own unique sexual response... So you might share what you need, to get off, with your bloke... That seems all good.....

But that (bolded) and I'm assuming you mean during penetration, yeah? Seems... weird... and backward(s)
It puts onus on her, to magically "adapt", which might just not be possible.....
Anatomical variation being what it is....
What about all those women who can only O with direct clitoral stim?
And what about all those women who can only O with vibration?
Men have hands and lips and tongues!
And we can go to Ann Summers and buy "powertools"! 

But kinda besides the point, there's a big difference between talking to your therapist about some concern you have, and getting some advice, versus your partner saying "you must do... THIS. Or.... FAIL."


----------



## Paquito

Thank you for this insightful post. 



Buffetbelly said:


> Sounds like we have a lot of sensitive new age guys here on the BHM/FFA board:
> 
> *Sensitive *[COLOR=orange !important][FONT=Arial, sans-serif][COLOR=orange !important][FONT=Arial, sans-serif]New-Age[/FONT][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR]* Guys
> from the Christine Lavin LP "Attainable Love"
> *
> 
> *Spoken: Sing along, it will help you with your male bonding kind-of-thing...
> 
> Who like to talk about their feelings?
> (Sensitive New-Age Guys)
> Who's into crystal, who's into healing?
> (Sensitive New-Age Guys)
> Who like to dress like *[COLOR=orange !important][FONT=Arial, sans-serif][COLOR=orange !important][FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Richard [/FONT][COLOR=orange !important][FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Simmons[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR]*?
> (Sensitive New-Age Guys)
> Who are hard to tell from women?
> (Sensitive New-Age Guys)
> Who like to cry at weddings, who think "Rambo" is upsetting?
> (Sensitive New-Age Guys)
> Who tape "Thirty-Something" on their VCR's?
> (Sensitive New-Age Guys)
> Who's got child-on-board stickers on their cars?
> (Sensitive New-Age Guys)
> 
> Whose last names are hyphenated?
> (Sensitive New-Age Guys)
> Who loved "Three Men and a Baby", a *[COLOR=orange !important][FONT=Arial, sans-serif][COLOR=orange !important][FONT=Arial, sans-serif]movie[/FONT][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR]* I hated?
> (Sensitive New-Age Guys)
> Who's consciousness is constantly raising?
> (Sensitive New-Age Guys)
> Whose tax-free income is amazing?
> (Sensitive New-Age Guys)
> Who think that red meat is disgusting?
> (Sensitive New-Age Guys)
> Who's into UFO's, channelling, and dusting?
> (Sensitive New-Age Guys)
> Who believes us when we say we have pre-menstrual syndrome?
> (Sensitive New-Age Guys)
> Who doesn't know who plays in the Seattle Kingdome?
> (Sensitive New-Age Guys)
> 
> Spoken: Let's ask these guys who plays in the Seattle Kingdome...
> Hey, do you know who plays in the Seattle Kingdome?
> (Mumble...mumble...)
> Oh, good answer, good answer!
> 
> Who likes *[COLOR=orange !important][FONT=Arial, sans-serif][COLOR=orange !important][FONT=Arial, sans-serif]music[/FONT][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR]* that's repetitious?
> (Sensitive New-Age Guys)
> Who likes *[COLOR=orange !important][FONT=Arial, sans-serif][COLOR=orange !important][FONT=Arial, sans-serif]music[/FONT][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR]* that's repetitious?
> (Sensitive New-Age Guys)
> Who's concerned about your orgasm?
> (silence)
> Spoken: ...Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute, you guys said you were sensitive?
> (Well, Christine...we're sensitive -- but we're not *that* sensitive!)
> 
> I guess it's more important that they have 'em
> (Sensitive New-Age Guys)
> Who carries the baby on his back?
> (Sensitive New-Age Guys)
> Who thinks that Shirley McLaine is on the inside track?
> (Sensitive New-Age Guys)
> Who sings on singalongs even when they can't stand stupid singalong *[COLOR=orange !important][FONT=Arial, sans-serif][COLOR=orange !important][FONT=Arial, sans-serif]songs[/FONT][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR]*?
> (Sensitive New-Age Guys)
> 
> (Spoken: Thank you for sharing.)*​


----------



## MasterShake

joswitch said:


> And I know from direct, first hand experience


Have you tried second hand? Because then it's like a total stranger. Especially if you make it go asleep first, and then it's like a totally hot stranger who's into choking.

In fact, being left-handed, I hear that my right hand is a total slut FFA - wait, no, that's what I tell my left hand to make it jealous enough to accept a three-way.

A totally hot, slutty, three-way. My hands have been bad boys - er, girls - er, hands!

_(the above totally sounds better in the Coach McGuirk voice)_








> Also: tallywhacker??? :huh:


Wait...you and her have been having an entire discussion based on the word "boner" - A WORD I HAVEN'T USED SERIOUSLY SINCE I WAS 13! - yet you're hung up on the word "tallywhacker"???! 






"Whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his johnson."







"You mean my johnson?"


----------



## thirtiesgirl

joswitch said:


> Turned on is what this is all about.
> Turned on = boner.
> Not turned on = no boner.
> Condom = turn off.
> Yeah, we gotta live with it.
> And be as upbeat and positive about it as possible.
> But let's not pretend it'd never a problem, nor that if a guy "just practices and tries hard enough" it'll be ok, every time.



From my experience, 9 times out of 10, it will.



joswitch said:


> But it's not the end of happy fun times, if the two of you can put it aside, go around the houses together (kissing, hands, oral, all that good stuff)
> maybe he can get you to the O some other way...
> and then maybe you can try again, and lots of times - it works great then!



Oy vey. Don't tell me I have more testosterone than you do. :doh: When I'm in the moment and ready to have sex, I don't want to sightsee around my apartment. When I'm ready to have sex, you'd better jump on it before the moment's gone.



joswitch said:


> And y'know what?
> You'd be waaaaay better off advising guys to get better at sex -
> better with their hands,
> better with oral,
> better with toys...
> All of THOSE types of sex are under conscious control!
> We, guys, can learn those skills and employ them - on demand!
> Anxiety* can = less bonerz.



Look, all I'm asking for is a guy who can keep a condom on and keep his erection. If I have to do too much teaching of other stuff, I'm not going to waste my time with him. I'm fine with telling him what I like once or twice, but if he doesn't pay attention and get it the first time, he won't be getting it again, if you get me.



joswitch said:


> Also: tallywhacker??? :huh:



You're the one from the UK. Don't you Brits have all kinds of funny words for things?


----------



## thirtiesgirl

MasterShake said:


> Wait...*you and her* have been having an entire discussion based on the word "boner" - A WORD I HAVEN'T USED SERIOUSLY SINCE I WAS 13! - yet you're hung up on the word "tallywhacker"???!



Um, that would be "you and _she_."

[/grammar bitch]


----------



## djudex

thirtiesgirl said:


> You're the one from the UK. Don't you Brits have all kinds of funny words for things?



What ho old bean, what say we get the spare tyre from the boot of the Hillman, jaunt on over to the chemists, pick up a packet of fags, head to the pub, read the agony aunt in the paper and wait for an argy-bargy between a couple of ginger pavees?

Wait, what?


----------



## Esther

joswitch said:


> What about all those women who can only O with direct clitoral stim?



A lot of women are like this. I like the diq as much as the next straight girl, but the "OMG VAGINA HE SHOOTS HE SCOOOOREZZZ" style sex just doesn't work for me. Never has, and I doubt any special masturbation will change that.

Also: birth control pills are not good for you. As much as I hate the feel/smell/unsexiness of condoms, I just kept getting sicker and sicker from the pill and it got to a point where I couldn't pollute my body with that shit any further. It would be unfair of a guy to ask me to do that to myself again.


----------



## FishCharming

ummm... is keeping an erection while wearing a condom really an issue? it's never happened to me and i've never even heard of it happening to anyone else so i think you might be focusing on one particular guy's hang up...

but hey, i might be wrong 

but really, i'd be more concerned about that guy b/c either a) he was a virgin and that's all sorts of yikes! or b) he has sex without wearing a condom and that's all sorts of yuck!


----------



## calauria

joswitch said:


> Really? I can see the idea of masturbating to get to know your own unique sexual response... So you might share what you need, to get off, with your bloke... That seems all good.....
> 
> But that (bolded) and I'm assuming you mean during penetration, yeah? Seems... weird... and backward(s)
> It puts onus on her, to magically "adapt", which might just not be possible.....
> Anatomical variation being what it is....
> What about all those women who can only O with direct clitoral stim?
> And what about all those women who can only O with vibration?
> Men have hands and lips and tongues!
> And we can go to Ann Summers and buy "powertools"!
> 
> But kinda besides the point, there's a big difference between talking to your therapist about some concern you have, and getting some advice, versus your partner saying "you must do... THIS. Or.... FAIL."



LOL!! Well, the masturbation technique is a simulation of penetrating intercourse with a male, so the female can become sensitive to the stimulation and hopefully start to have orgasms this way.


----------



## Esther

FishCharming said:


> ummm... is keeping an erection while wearing a condom really an issue? it's never happened to me and i've never even heard of it happening to anyone else so i think you might be focusing on one particular guy's hang up...



I've never come across this problem either.


----------



## FishCharming

whoops, double post


----------



## thirtiesgirl

FishCharming said:


> ummm... is keeping an erection while wearing a condom really an issue? it's never happened to me and i've never even heard of it happening to anyone else so i think you might be focusing on one particular guy's hang up...
> 
> but hey, i might be wrong
> 
> but really, i'd be more concerned about that guy b/c either a) he was a virgin and that's all sorts of yikes! or b) he has sex without wearing a condom and that's all sorts of yuck!



I don't mean to kiss and tell, but in the past when I dated more frequently, I tended to attract the more, um..._inexperienced_ type. And maintaining an erection with a condom was a problem. I've also dated more experienced partners for whom this was not a problem, or very rarely a problem. But for a few of the sweet but misguided young men I've spent my time with, it could be very hard for them to close the deal when wearing a French envelope.*


*aka, condom - put that in your pipe and smoke it, djudex. I know some funny expressions, too.


----------



## MasterShake

Esther said:


> A lot of women are like this. I like the diq as much as the next straight girl, but the "OMG VAGINA HE SHOOTS HE SCOOOOREZZZ" style sex just doesn't work for me. Never has, and I doubt any special masturbation will change that.


See, I took his comment to be about the idea that if the woman knows what gets her off (i.e. because she gets her(self) off) then she can tell the guy that, instead of "just lying there" expecting the guy to be an expert and know exactly what ticks her tock.



> but the "OMG VAGINA HE SHOOTS HE SCOOOOREZZZ" style sex just doesn't work for me


BTW, are you saying that you wouldn't appreciate my use of NBA Jam sayings during intercourse?

"Boom-shaka-laka!"
"The Monster Jam!"
"Jams it in!"
"A spectacular dunk!"
"Wild Shot!"
"Slam-a-jamma!"
"From Downtown!"
"For Three!"
"He's on fire!"
"Get that outta here!"
"Baseline leaner!!"
"From long range!"
"Grabs the rebound!"
"The nail in the coffin!"
"Whoomp, there it is!"
"Puts up a brick!"
"Can't buy a bucket!"
"Is it the shoes?!?"
"Tenacious D!"


----------



## joswitch

calauria said:


> Well, I read that there is a gel that will be available soon that will kill the HIV/AIDS virus. I'm not sure about other STIs. It would be great if a gel was invented that would kill everything.



just quoting you cos something went wrong when quoted previously, making it look like I said that.. 
interesting - you got a link?


----------



## joswitch

thirtiesgirl said:


> I am telling you something about women, but with all your defenses up and your argumentative attitude, you keep missing it. Let me try it again: women * don't like it when you can't keep it up with a condom on. * There. Does that make more sense? Now stop whining and _go get some practice_.



^The bolded bit came through loud and clear from the start. 
No way to miss it.
And - duh. 
What dude ever imagined that a woman might ever like that? Really?

I'm not arguing that YOU and most women don't like the "curse of the condom".
Fair enough. You're entitled to that.

Men like the "curse of the condom"... EVEN LESS.
It can be an unpleasant and humiliating feeling.
Especially if there's someone else, right there, blaming you for it.
*Unless, of course, you understand that, bonerz are largely involuntary and it's just one of those things, no big deal, suck it up, have some other adult fun and try again later.*
Yeah, dudes, you can try "practising" on your own - but don't kill yourself if it doesn't bloody work, you are not a freak! The way you feel during wanking does not = the same as during sex with someone else!


^The underline bit - *you served that up as though it's something that will work for all men all the time. 
You're just wrong about that.*

Also:
that sneery, dismissive attitude you're putting out there? 
That's not gonna help your "quest for bonerz" nor for good sex.
Unless you can find a submissive masochist dude, maybe with a latex fetish...


And FTR
- I was lucky enough, over the years, to have a number of LTR realtionships with GGG gfs, and when the "curse of the condom" cropped up - *rarely* - as it tends to, they were cool about it. We'd do other adultfuntimes stuff and go around again half/an hour later, and generally - second time lucky! I appreciated their patience and general GGG coolness. And I showed my gratitude - mainly in the giving of orgasms.
:batting:


----------



## joswitch

calauria said:


> LOL!! Well, the masturbation technique is a simulation of penetrating intercourse with a male, so the female can become sensitive to the stimulation and hopefully start to have orgasms this way.



Yeah, I got that.
But, yeah, women have a high degree of anatomical and responsive variation... right?
That "therapy" assumes all women can and should orgasm the same way, ?during penetrative intercourse!!??? and that one treatment does for all.


----------



## joswitch

thirtiesgirl said:


> From my experience, 9 times out of 10, it will.


What? That's unclear...
Do you mean 9 out of 10 your past bfs who've had curse-of-condom are cured by your "practice"??? What's your total sample size there? Did you keep notes? Next to your 15 second stopwatch? 

Or do you mean that: 
you consider that if only 1 in 10 efforts to shag with a condom= "no go" - to be an acceptable failure rate? Cos in my experience it's* rarer* than 1in10 fail, and it *does* have a strong correlation with can't-be-bothered-to-participate-I'll-just-lie-here-and-maybe-complain-some girls...

Also - 
how would you know what it is that allowed any man to "fix" curse-of-condom? 
You have NO IDEA what he did, or thought or felt to get over it - cos.... you ain't him!!
He'll've told you whatever you wanted to hear.
No doubt.



> Oy vey. Don't tell me I have more testosterone than you do. :doh:



Some more sneer with your snark, ma'am?



> When I'm in the moment and ready to have sex, I don't want to sightsee around my apartment.



"Go round the houses" is a euphemism! (FFS)
To be explicit - when the curse-of-condom strikes - 
go for hand/oral sex instead....
and then maybe go for penetration again a bit later...
has worked well for me and mine in the past...
mostly...
Sure, it won't work for everyone.
But me and gfs have had a lot of joy from that.


> When I'm ready to have sex, you'd better jump on it *before the moment's gone.*
> Look, all I'm asking for is a guy who can keep a condom on and keep his erection. If I have to do too much teaching of other stuff, I'm not going to *waste my time with him*. I'm fine with telling him what I like once or twice, but if he doesn't pay attention and get it the first time, he won't be getting it again, if you get me. *snip*



^Impatient AND fickle too! Awesome! 
No pressure at all on your "misguided young men", I'm sure! /sarcasm


----------



## joswitch

Esther said:


> A lot of women are like this. I like the diq as much as the next straight girl, but the "OMG VAGINA HE SHOOTS HE SCOOOOREZZZ" style sex just doesn't work for me. Never has, and I doubt any special masturbation will change that.
> 
> Also: birth control pills are not good for you. As much as I hate the feel/smell/unsexiness of condoms, I just kept getting sicker and sicker from the pill and it got to a point where I couldn't pollute my body with that shit any further. It would be unfair of a guy to ask me to do that to myself again.



^I'm not promoting the pill at all here.
Responsible guys use condoms.


----------



## willowmoon

Well I haven't read all of the posts on the condom issue, but I would have to agree that yeah, condoms aren't fun but they are a necessary evil sometimes. And yep, putting one on used to be an erection killer for me, but it's like thirtiesgirl mentioned before -- practice, practice, practice. After a while, it's not as much of an issue. 

Do I prefer one? Hell to the no. But will I wear one if needed? Yep.


----------



## Tad

We used condoms for a number of years. I can't say I ever favored them, but they got their the job done and seldom interfered with us getting our job done. When the sponge came back on the market we gave that a try, once. I can give you almost the exact date (just have to count backwards by forty weeks). More recently my wife developed some issues that are kept in check by hormonal birth control, so I've not had to worry about it for a few years....although I'm sure some day we'll be back to having a box in the bedside table.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Getting somewhat back on topic...

If a male actually has to ask "Was it good for you?" it better be in complete humor; otherwise a) it screams insecurity in his performance (which for me is a huge turn off) b) inexperienced in what a completely turned on/out female looks/feels/sounds like or c) it wasn't that good and he may have just been faked out. 

Trust me, when it's good for us, you won't _ever_ have to ask.


----------



## Jes

escapist said:


> As a strange side note he seems to love telling the story to strangers if I'm around. I get a bit self-conscious every time he does it, and get to relive just a tiny amount of the regret.
> :



Maybe if you paid the hospital bills you caused him he'd shut his yap.


----------



## mossystate

willowmoon said:


> Well I haven't read all of the posts on the condom issue, but I would have to agree that yeah, condoms aren't fun but they are a necessary evil sometimes. And yep, putting one on used to be an erection killer for me, but it's like thirtiesgirl mentioned before -- practice, practice, practice. After a while, it's not as much of an issue.
> 
> Do I prefer one? Hell to the no. But will I wear one if needed? Yep.



yeah...no birth control is fun and/or without problems for the user...a bajillion women can testify


----------



## joswitch

Sod this for a game of soldiers, I'm off out.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

joswitch said:


> ^The bolded bit came through loud and clear from the start.
> No way to miss it.
> And - duh.
> What dude ever imagined that a woman might ever like that? Really? ...



*yawn*



joswitch said:


> What? That's unclear...
> Do you mean 9 out of 10 your past bfs who've had curse-of-condom are cured by your "practice"??? What's your total sample size there? Did you keep notes? Next to your 15 second stopwatch?
> 
> Or do you mean that:
> you consider that if only 1 in 10 efforts to shag with a condom= "no go" - to be an acceptable failure rate? Cos in my experience it's* rarer* than 1in10 fail, and it *does* have a strong correlation with can't-be-bothered-to-participate-I'll-just-lie-here-and-maybe-complain-some girls...
> 
> Also -
> how would you know what it is that allowed any man to "fix" curse-of-condom?
> You have NO IDEA what he did, or thought or felt to get over it - cos.... you ain't him!!
> He'll've told you whatever you wanted to hear.
> No doubt.



The lady doth protest too much. 
I swear, Jos, you're whining so much about this, I'm beginning to think there's a deeper issue here.


----------



## joswitch

Whatthefuckever.


----------



## vardon_grip

thirtiesgirl said:


> *yawn*
> The lady doth protest too much.
> I swear, Jos, you're whining so much about this, I'm beginning to think there's a deeper issue here.



It is bullshit to make that kind of comment. There is no reason to make it personal.

There have been a several occasions (one recently) where a man posted his opinions on the workings of the female anatomy. It never goes well. The point of the disagreement is "how can a man tell a woman what is going on with her body?" They are right to complain. The same applies here. 

There are several reasons why a man may lose his erection while putting on a condom. From what I have read, a lot of them are anxiety based; but they are not the only reasons. Also, the source of that anxiety can come from the partner. There is no one-fix-cures-all with either sex. I have been with women who don't like sex with the lights on, women who don't like to remove very much clothing, women who produce very little natural lubrication, women whose natural lubrication dries up as a reaction to condoms, women who can only orgasm one particular way...and you know what? It never helps to call them out on it or treat them like they are defective. Because they aren't "wrong" or defective. Also, I have to be open to the possibility that it's something I am doing/not doing and that it is not my partner-then try to remedy the problem. 

Want the lights off? Easy. Don't like to get naked? No prob! A little dry? Do you want silicone or water based and do you like scented, unscented or warming lube? Can only orgasm while doing a headstand while dressed as Bo Peep? I'm down with thaaaaaaat! I could be a dick and bitch about it or just care a little and work through it. Good sex is the responsibility of both involved. (or eight, depending how you swing)

You don't like that some men lose their erection whenever they try to put on a condom. Great. No problem with your comment.
You want to tell men how to "train" themselves to keep an erection as the cure all, tell men how the male body works and to stop whining and get some practice? 
That's more bullshit.


----------



## Buffetbelly

I used to have this problem with wiltage applying a condom, and I discovered it was because the condoms were too small. Getting them two sizes larger pretty much took care of the issue. Hope this might be helpful to other guys...


----------



## BigChaz

I just use heatshrink wrap and a heat gun....


----------



## thirtiesgirl

vardon_grip said:


> It is bullshit to make that kind of comment. There is no reason to make it personal.



Ah, and young Joswitch has never gotten personal with me, calling me out on my choice of expression and insinuating that I'm an unfeeling, demanding bitch who couldn't keep a partner interested if I tried? _Right._ Yes, how dare I actually ask for something that I want. How dare I expect my sexual partners to be able to keep an erection with a condom. How wrong of me. Mea culpa. Forgive me for expecting something better. I never should have stepped out of line.

 <--- This damn smiley doesn't even convey the level of "yeah, right" that I feel at this moment, but it will have to do.


----------



## Zowie

BigChaz said:


> I just use heatshrink wrap and a heat gun....



Judging by how hard it is to get heatshrink wrap off anything... that must be some crazy effective method right there.


----------



## Esther

MasterShake said:


> BTW, are you saying that you wouldn't appreciate my use of NBA Jam sayings during intercourse?



NBA Jam sayings are fine, just NO HOCKEY!!! 





BigChaz said:


> I just use heatshrink wrap and a heat gun....



I work at a record store... I got all the plastic wrap and heat guns you could ever want, baby.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

Esther said:


> NBA Jam sayings are fine, just NO HOCKEY!!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I work at a record store... I got all the plastic wrap and heat guns you could ever want, baby.



I don't usually post video replies, I leave that for chicken legs because she does it so well, but I couldn't help it. 

so . . . can you wrap me up?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3EseGKxExM


----------



## isamarie69

This seems to the hot thread of the week. So i figured it was time I posted Something! 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzkhOmKVW08

:wubu:


----------



## vardon_grip

thirtiesgirl said:


> Ah, and young Joswitch has never gotten personal with me, calling me out on my choice of expression and insinuating that I'm an unfeeling, demanding bitch who couldn't keep a partner interested if I tried? _Right._ Yes, how dare I actually ask for something that I want. How dare I expect my sexual partners to be able to keep an erection with a condom. How wrong of me. Mea culpa. Forgive me for expecting something better. I never should have stepped out of line.
> 
> <--- This damn smiley doesn't even convey the level of "yeah, right" that I feel at this moment, but it will have to do.



Thanks for only reading the first line of my post

Why would anyone think you were unfeeling when you use such warm and tender words like, "Now stop whining and go get some practice." I can just picture the fabric softener commercial playing in the background.

You knew what you were doing when you opened with your salvo and said you were prepared to take flak, so don't play the innocent now. You didn't want anyone to give you flak and you wanted to continue blasting away. Unless I missed something, you were the first to strike with the whining and testosterone comments. You were condescending and you were telling the men here that you had the "solution" to their erection problems. No one says that you have to like it or accept it, but no man wants to hear you bitch about it and then tell them how their body works and how to "fix" the problem. No one wants to hear that they need to be fixed, especially from someone who isn't emotionally invested in them. You don't like it? Fine. No problem. You can leave at any time. 

No woman wants to hear a man tell her what is up with her body and you can imagine that a man will expect the same. You can't relate or advise if you don't have the part being discussed. This isn't about your dignity, rights as a person or your expectations. Don't beat your breast and imply that you are being kept down for expressing your opinion. Play that tune somewhere else. You are the one who tied what you wanted with how the problem was to be fixed. Its been said before-It is perfectly fine for you to express your wants, but don't tell us how to fix a problem that you have no clue about.



I'm on a horse!


----------



## thirtiesgirl

vardon_grip said:


> Why would anyone think you were unfeeling when you use such warm and tender words like, "Now stop whining and go get some practice." I can just picture the fabric softener commercial playing in the background.



Oh, so now you're jumping on the bandwagon too, and relying on sexist commentary to boot? 



vardon_grip said:


> You knew what you were doing when you opened with your salvo and said you were prepared to take flak, so don't play the innocent now. You didn't want anyone to give you flak and you wanted to continue blasting away.



Yes, Vardon, you know me so well. You've got me all figured out.



vardon_grip said:


> Unless I missed something, you were the first to strike with the whining and testosterone comments. You were condescending and you were telling the men here that you had the "solution" to their erection problems.



Ah, I see. So it's "whining" to express my needs, is that it? It's "condescending" to tell men what I want when it comes to sexual gratification? Wow. I wonder how you'd feel if your significant other asked you to just take out the garbage? :doh:



vardon_grip said:


> No one says that you have to like it or accept it, but no man wants to hear you bitch about it and then tell them how their body works and how to "fix" the problem. No one wants to hear that they need to be fixed, especially from someone who isn't emotionally invested in them. You don't like it? Fine. No problem. You can leave at any time.



Yes, and I'm sure that would make your life so much easier, wouldn't it? All these demanding women daring to tell men what they want sexually! How dare they!



vardon_grip said:


> No woman wants to hear a man tell her what is up with her body and you can imagine that a man will expect the same. You can't relate or advise if you don't have the part being discussed.



Oh, hon, this argument is as old as the hills and it's not going to work with me. If you can't keep a stiffy with a condom and choose not to practice masturbating with one, that's your prerogative. But I like a man who can and is willing to take initiative and practice if he needs to, and you're not going to convince me otherwise. You can insult me all you want, call me a heartless bitch, tell me to leave, but that's not going to change my opinion. You're fighting a losing battle here, so I suggest you toss in your chips and try your luck at another table.


----------



## spiritangel

OneWickedAngel said:


> Getting somewhat back on topic...
> 
> If a male actually has to ask "Was it good for you?" it better be in complete humor; otherwise a) it screams insecurity in his performance (which for me is a huge turn off) b) inexperienced in what a completely turned on/out female looks/feels/sounds like or c) it wasn't that good and he may have just been faked out.
> 
> Trust me, when it's good for us, you won't _ever_ have to ask.



umm if your a male you should know the signs of if we have truly had a good time or not there are some dead give aways, that cannot completely be faked at all

so my advice is to learn them and learn them well they will always mean you can read a womans body a lot better 

and yeah if you have to ask if it was good, then chances are it wasnt..................


----------



## spiritangel

vardon_grip said:


> You don't like that some men lose their erection whenever they try to put on a condom. Great. No problem with your comment.
> You want to tell men how to "train" themselves to keep an erection as the cure all, tell men how the male body works and to stop whining and get some practice?
> That's more bullshit.




I think practice putting one on your man, and if you so want to learn to put one on with your mouth that always seems to do the trick, well I have rarely had the condom shrinkage problem with partners but then again I havent had many so may have just gotten lucky...................


----------



## Melian

What the hell kind of guy is going to sit around practice-wanking into a condom?

He should just save himself the annoyance and have a real wank - much more enjoyable than nailing some chick who can't keep him hard.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Melian said:


> What the hell kind of guy is going to sit around practice-wanking into a condom?
> 
> He should just save himself the annoyance and have a real wank - much more enjoyable than nailing some chick who can't keep him hard.



Ah, yes, the "it's always the woman's fault" argument. I was hoping I might not see that one here, but I can't say I'm surprised.


----------



## Melian

thirtiesgirl said:


> Ah, yes, the "it's always the woman's fault" argument. I was hoping I might not see that one here, but I can't say I'm surprised.



Well, I'm a woman, and if my guy was having this issue I would feel that it was at least *partially* due to me.

So sorry to disappoint you, erection-master.

Honestly, the men in this thread have really made the best arguments.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Melian said:


> Well, I'm a woman, and if my guy was having this issue I would feel that it was at least *partially* due to me.
> 
> So sorry to disappoint you, erection-master.
> 
> Honestly, the men in this thread have really made the best arguments.



I see. So you're a "support them no matter what they do" kind of gal. Good for you.


----------



## Melian

thirtiesgirl said:


> I see. So you're a "support them no matter what they do" kind of gal. Good for you.



No. I just disagree with you.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Melian said:


> No. I just disagree with you.



And disagreeing, in this case, means blaming women for their man's inability to keep an erection?


----------



## Melian

thirtiesgirl said:


> And disagreeing, in this case, means blaming women for their man's inability to keep an erection?



You really need to stop putting words into peoples' mouths.

I said I would feel PARTIALLY responsible, if I was in that situation, not that women are responsible for ED.

Personally, if every time I had sex I had to stop, apply a slimy latex item to my body, and then try to resume, it would be pretty damn intolerable and I'd have to be massively aroused to continue. That being said, if a man loses an erection after doing so, I'd say it's pretty understandable. The men who answered your assumption that they could just "get used to it" were intelligent and eloquent (ie. not trolls), but you brushed them off and were extra snarky about it - that is the part with which I disagree.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Melian said:


> You really need to stop putting words into peoples' mouths.
> 
> I said I would feel PARTIALLY responsible, if I was in that situation, not that women are responsible for ED.



Ah, so the woman blaming continues. Partially responsible, wholly responsible... not too much difference from where I stand.



Melian said:


> Personally, if every time I had sex I had to stop, apply a slimy latex item to my body, and then try to resume, it would be pretty damn intolerable and I'd have to be massively aroused to continue.



Condoms really aren't all that slimey on the outside, or haven't you noticed?



Melian said:


> That being said, if a man loses an erection after doing so, I'd say it's pretty understandable.



No, it's not understandable to me. All it takes is a little practice and the guy will get more used to wearing a condom and be able to get the job done. I've had plenty of sexual partners who were able to accomplish it without much trouble, and a handful of them who haven't. When they can't keep it up with the condom on, what I tell them to do is go home and practice and then we can be sexually intimate. Many times when I do, I have to deal with bitching and whining from the guy about how he wants sex _nowwww_, he'll pull out, he'll be careful, there's "more sensation" with bareback sex, etc, etc, ad infinitum. Instead of taking my word for it and accepting my "no" in the moment, and then going home to practice, get better and try another day, he turns into a bratty boy whose been refused sex and doesn't know how to handle it.



Melian said:


> The men who answered your assumption that they could just "get used to it" were intelligent and eloquent (ie. not trolls), but you brushed them off and were extra snarky about it - that is the part with which I disagree.



I'm snarky because what I read from Joswitch and Vardan_Grip is a lot of woman-blaming for the lack of their erections, insinuations that I'm an unfeeling, heartless bitch for telling a guy to go get some practice, and not a lot of understanding.

If what you're saying is true, that women are "partially responsible" for helping their guy keep his erection, and taking Joswitch's statement at face value, that the guys can't control their "little head," it will do what it wills, when it wills it, who would you then blame if you're walking down the street with your guy and he suddenly gets an erection because a girl in a revealing dress passes by? According to you, if the woman is "partially responsible" for keeping her guy stimulated, it's then the woman's fault for wearing such a revealing dress and being "partially responsible" for the guy's erection. According to Joswitch, his "little head" is pulling the strings and simply responding to the stimulus of a woman in a revealing dress. Never mind that he's walking down the street with his significant other at his side. He can't control his thoughts, apparently, and his "little head" will do what it wills and respond to the stimulus he sees.

If this is your line of argument, and Jos's, wouldn't you agree that it's incredibly limiting for both men and women? It lays all the responsibility and blame at women's collective feet for being responsible for guys' sexual stimulation, and takes all the responsibility away from men and paints them as nothing but salivating dogs who leap up at the sound of a bell. I find this line of thinking incredibly limiting and stereotypical. Don't you think guys want to be perceived as something other than salivating dogs that just respond to stimulus, without any thought involved? We can do better than that. Don't you want something better for yourself?


----------



## Zowie

Well, if the guy goes soft and had a problem with the condom, just work with him to get him aroused again, no?

And I'm with Melian, I do consider myself partially responsible if a guy isn't 'interested', although I may also have absolutely nothing to do with it. Look at it the other way, if a girl is a little dry, the guy won't just stare at her at say, "Lubricate, hoe!". It doesn't work that way either.


----------



## FishCharming

bionic_eggplant said:


> Well, if the guy goes soft and had a problem with the condom, just work with him to get him aroused again, no?
> 
> And I'm with Melian, I do consider myself partially responsible if a guy isn't 'interested', although I may also have absolutely nothing to do with it. Look at it the other way, if a girl is a little dry, the guy won't just stare at her at say, "Lubricate, hoe!". It doesn't work that way either.



And there's my new catch phrase!!!

At a restaurant: "Sir, i'm sorry but your card has been declined..."
"Oh yeah? Lubricate ho!!!"

on the highway: "Sir, do you know why i pulled you over?"
"yes officer, because you need to Lubricate ho!!!"

in bed: "ohhhhhhhh yes!"
"Luuuuuuuuuuuubricate HOOOOOOOOOO!!!... now how about you go make me a sammich while i take a nap. Thanks love"

so many applications! i just can't thank you enough eggy!!!


----------



## vardon_grip

spiritangel said:


> I think practice putting one on your man, and if you so want to learn to put one on with your mouth that always seems to do the trick, well I have rarely had the condom shrinkage problem with partners but then again I havent had many so may have just gotten lucky...................



Now that is a great way to involve yourself in the condom process and a great technique! Props to you!


----------



## Zowie

FishCharming said:


> And there's my new catch phrase!!!
> 
> At a restaurant: "Sir, i'm sorry but your card has been declined..."
> "Oh yeah? Lubricate ho!!!"
> 
> on the highway: "Sir, do you know why i pulled you over?"
> "yes officer, because you need to Lubricate ho!!!"
> 
> in bed: "ohhhhhhhh yes!"
> "Luuuuuuuuuuuubricate HOOOOOOOOOO!!!... now how about you go make me a sammich while i take a nap. Thanks love"
> 
> so many applications! i just can't thank you enough eggy!!!



Hahaha, I love it! I think I'll use it at work today. "Would you like a bag for that sir? Only if you lubricate, ho!"


----------



## thirtiesgirl

bionic_eggplant said:


> Well, if the guy goes soft and had a problem with the condom, just work with him to get him aroused again, no?



As I've stated in this thread, I'm fine doing that once or twice. But when I have to put up with it on a constant basis and listen to a guy whine that "condoms are annoying, I can't keep it up, can't we just do it bareback, aren't you on the pill, I swear I'll pull out," etc, that doesn't work for me. So instead of putting the onus on me, it's time for him to go home and practice with a condom and get used to it. How is this so hard to comprehend?



bionic_eggplant said:


> And I'm with Melian, I do consider myself partially responsible if a guy isn't 'interested', although I may also have absolutely nothing to do with it. Look at it the other way, if a girl is a little dry, the guy won't just stare at her at say, "Lubricate, hoe!". It doesn't work that way either.



That's why there are liquid lubricants on the market, for this very reason. And that's why I keep some in my bedside table at all times. If dryness is a problem, I'll take care of it. End of issue. (Although if he were to let me know I was dry by saying "lubricate, hoe," he'd be on the curb faster than the door could hit his ass on the way out.)

If he can't keep it up with a condom, though, and continually has a problem with it, that's an issue. Unfortunately, short of male enhancement pills and penis pumps, both of which have their problems and possible hazards, there is no way for a guy to magically keep an erection, short of working on his mind-body connection.

It's the same way guys work at learning more stamina during intercourse. They concentrate on other things, using their brains as 'interference' of sorts, to help keep them hard and keep them going. The same applies to keeping it up with a condom.

Now, of course, the cock ring is always an option, but I've never had a sexual partner who felt comfortable using one, so it's not something I often suggest. If a guy is into it, though, I'll happily help him out with it and enjoy every minute.


----------



## vardon_grip

thirtiesgirl said:


> Oh, so now you're jumping on the bandwagon too, and relying on sexist commentary to boot?
> 
> Yes, Vardon, you know me so well. You've got me all figured out.
> 
> Ah, I see. So it's "whining" to express my needs, is that it? It's "condescending" to tell men what I want when it comes to sexual gratification? Wow. I wonder how you'd feel if your significant other asked you to just take out the garbage? :doh:
> 
> Yes, and I'm sure that would make your life so much easier, wouldn't it? All these demanding women daring to tell men what they want sexually! How dare they!
> 
> Oh, hon, this argument is as old as the hills and it's not going to work with me. If you can't keep a stiffy with a condom and choose not to practice masturbating with one, that's your prerogative. But I like a man who can and is willing to take initiative and practice if he needs to, and you're not going to convince me otherwise. You can insult me all you want, call me a heartless bitch, tell me to leave, but that's not going to change my opinion. You're fighting a losing battle here, so I suggest you toss in your chips and try your luck at another table.



Man, you must be bruised black and blue from all the breast beating and head smacking!
Lady, you are crazy if....no, that's about it. I know we aren't having the same conversation because you talk about shit that didn't happen. I also didn't insult you, blame you, call you names or tell you to leave. All that stuff comes under the department of crazy, crazy talk! Crazy talk, like 837 cats (each named after a constellation) in someones 1 bedroom apartment...that kind of crazy! It seems to make you happy to pound away at your chest instead of stepping back and examining what people have to say to you.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

vardon_grip said:


> Man, you must be bruised black and blue from all the breast beating and head smacking!
> Lady, you are crazy if....no, that's about it. I know we aren't having the same conversation because you talk about shit that didn't happen. I also didn't insult you, blame you, call you names or tell you to leave. All that stuff comes under the department of crazy, crazy talk! Crazy talk, like 837 cats (each named after a constellation) in someones 1 bedroom apartment...that kind of crazy! It seems to make you happy to pound away at your chest instead of stepping back and examining what people have to say to you.



Again, Vardon, you have sussed me out and know everything there is to know about me. How _do_ you do it? I'm not only crazy (apparently), I also have 837 cats (all named after constellations, apparently) in my 1-bedroom apartment. Don't forget, though, that I also walk down to the mailbox in my muumuu and fuzzy slippers with juice cans in my hair and bleaching solution on my upper lip. You mustn't forget that if you're going to paint a complete picture of the crazy, cat hoarding, "chest pounding" bitch that I am.


----------



## mossystate

thirtiesgirl said:


> Again, Vardon, you have sussed me out and know everything there is to know about me. How _do_ you do it? I'm not only crazy (apparently), I also have 837 cats (all named after constellations, apparently) in my 1-bedroom apartment. Don't forget, though, that I also walk down to the mailbox in my muumuu and fuzzy slippers with juice cans in my hair and bleaching solution on my upper lip. You mustn't forget that if you're going to paint a complete picture of the crazy, cat hoarding, "chest pounding" bitch that I am.



Post pictures!!!

:bow:


----------



## WillSpark

thirtiesgirl said:


> Again, Vardon, you have sussed me out and know everything there is to know about me. How _do_ you do it? I'm not only crazy (apparently), I also have 837 cats (all named after constellations, apparently) in my 1-bedroom apartment. Don't forget, though, that I also walk down to the mailbox in my muumuu and fuzzy slippers with juice cans in my hair and bleaching solution on my upper lip. You mustn't forget that if you're going to paint a complete picture of the crazy, cat hoarding, "chest pounding" bitch that I am.



It was an assessment of the amount of crazy, not a description of you directly.

I'd say more, but this was the only part that needn't get lost in the garble.


----------



## Bearsy

thirtiesgirl said:


> As I've stated in this thread, I'm fine doing that once or twice. But when I have to put up with it on a constant basis and listen to a guy whine that "condoms are annoying, I can't keep it up, can't we just do it bareback, aren't you on the pill, I swear I'll pull out," etc, that doesn't work for me. So instead of putting the onus on me, it's time for him to go home and practice with a condom and get used to it. How is this so hard to comprehend?
> 
> 
> 
> That's why there are liquid lubricants on the market, for this very reason. And that's why I keep some in my bedside table at all times. If dryness is a problem, I'll take care of it. End of issue. (Although if he were to let me know I was dry by saying "lubricate, hoe," he'd be on the curb faster than the door could hit his ass on the way out.)
> 
> If he can't keep it up with a condom, though, and continually has a problem with it, that's an issue. Unfortunately, short of male enhancement pills and penis pumps, both of which have their problems and possible hazards, there is no way for a guy to magically keep an erection, short of working on his mind-body connection.
> 
> It's the same way guys work at learning more stamina during intercourse. They concentrate on other things, using their brains as 'interference' of sorts, to help keep them hard and keep them going. The same applies to keeping it up with a condom.
> 
> Now, of course, the cock ring is always an option, but I've never had a sexual partner who felt comfortable using one, so it's not something I often suggest. If a guy is into it, though, I'll happily help him out with it and enjoy every minute.



I have no problem whatsoever with using a condom, but isn't preventing pregnancy largely your responsibility?
It is your body, right?


----------



## thirtiesgirl

WillSpark said:


> It was an assessment of the amount of crazy, not a description of you directly.
> 
> I'd say more, but this was the only part that needn't get lost in the garble.



Ah, kind of like calling someone's _behavior_ asshole-ish, but not calling them an asshole directly? Is that what you meant? Or am I wrong about the passive aggression?


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Bearsy said:


> I have no problem whatsoever with using a condom, but isn't preventing pregnancy largely your responsibility?
> It is your body, right?



Um, no, not just my responsibility. The spunk is yours. Wrap it up before you slap it up, please.


----------



## Paquito

So...

yea.


----------



## Esther

Bearsy said:


> I have no problem whatsoever with using a condom, but isn't preventing pregnancy largely your responsibility?
> It is your body, right?



The spawn is half yours.


----------



## vardon_grip

vardon_grip said:


> Why would anyone think you were unfeeling when you use such warm and tender words like, "Now stop whining and go get some practice." I can just picture the fabric softener commercial playing in the background.





thirtiesgirl said:


> Oh, so now you're jumping on the bandwagon too, and relying on *sexist commentary* to boot?



Just out of curiosity, where in the Wide World of Sports&#8482; is the SEXIST comment in this quote you highlighted?


----------



## isamarie69

Ok heres the thing some people may not understand, having sex is not just something you do for the man, its not some big favor you should do for him, sex is something that is shared between two people and should be equally gratifing for both( if i have spelling errors over look them im on my phone) and if your having relations with a partner you should want to turn them on and keep them excited, because your excited about them! Maybe showing more interest in the sex and making it clear to the man you want it as much as he does would help keep things rolling. I remember one time i was with a partner and i was well i was visiting the lower levels, and i looked up at him very innocently and said i want it, and he just about lost it then and there! Little words certian looks the way you touch him all let him know you want it just as badly and that hes the only one that can give it to you is whats going to keep him erect during the 1 minute it takes to put on a condom, and i totally agree with everyone else when they say get involved and make it apart of play time. 

Never let a partner you want to come back leave unsatisfied!


----------



## thirtiesgirl

vardon_grip said:


> Just out of curiosity, where in the Wide World of Sports is the SEXIST comment in this quote you highlighted?



Hon, it's not my job to educate you on over 40 years of feminist theory and thought. You'll have to figure that one out on your own.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

isamarie69 said:


> Ok heres the thing some people may not understand, having sex is not just something you do for the man, its not some big favor you should do for him, sex is something that is shared between two people and should be equally gratifing for both( if i have spelling errors over look them im on my phone) and if your having relations with a partner you should want to turn them on and keep them excited, because your excited about them! Maybe showing more interest in the sex and making it clear to the man you want it as much as he does would help keep things rolling. I remember one time i was with a partner and i was well i was visiting the lower levels, and i looked up at him very innocently and said i want it, and he just about lost it then and there! Little words certian looks the way you touch him all let him know you want it just as badly and that hes the only one that can give it to you is whats going to keep him erect during the 1 minute it takes to put on a condom, and i totally agree with everyone else when they say get involved and make it apart of play time.
> 
> Never let a partner you want to come back leave unsatisfied!



While I don't disagree with you, if you have to continually keep up the sweet talk because they continually lose the erection, eventually _this_ gal is going to lose interest. I don't always want to play tickle me Elmo every time the guy loses his erection. If he can't learn to keep it up with a condom on, he either needs to go home and practice or find another girl who is ok with waiting...and waiting...for sexual gratification and/or fucking him at half mast.


----------



## CastingPearls

thirtiesgirl said:


> Again, Vardon, you have sussed me out and know everything there is to know about me. How _do_ you do it? I'm not only crazy (apparently), I also have 837 cats (all named after constellations, apparently) in my 1-bedroom apartment. Don't forget, though, that I also walk down to the mailbox in my muumuu and fuzzy slippers with juice cans in my hair and bleaching solution on my upper lip. You mustn't forget that if you're going to paint a complete picture of the crazy, cat hoarding, "chest pounding" bitch that I am.


Don't forget the coffee mug filled with gin.....


----------



## vardon_grip

thirtiesgirl said:


> Hon, it's not my job to educate you on over 40 years of feminist theory and thought. You'll have to figure that one out on your own.



Right. You can't explain it either, huh? Thanks Oz.


----------



## MasterShake

thirtiesgirl said:


> And disagreeing, in this case, means blaming women for their man's inability to keep an erection?


No, I think it just means they're disagreeing with you. You seem to have a problem distinguishing between criticism of you and criticism of all women.

I haven't seen anyone criticize women. But I have seen a whole lot of criticism of you, as an individual person.



Esther said:


> The spawn is half yours.


So...the decision to abort is half ours too?

/just sayin'...
//rhetorically speaking...
///I think that's what the guy's point was about "your body"...
////so how 'bout that local sports franchise? speaking of which...



Esther said:


> NBA Jam sayings are fine, just NO HOCKEY!!!


So during your orgasm, yelling "He hits it - top shelf! - where momma keeps the peanut butter!!!" would be frowned upon?   



FishCharming said:


> And there's my new catch phrase!!!
> 
> At a restaurant: "Sir, i'm sorry but your card has been declined..."
> "Oh yeah? Lubricate ho!!!"


I sense a new marketing scheme for DJUDEX-brand condoms!


----------



## WillSpark

thirtiesgirl said:


> While I don't disagree with you, if you have to continually keep up the sweet talk because they continually lose the erection, eventually _this_ gal is going to lose interest. I don't always want to play tickle me Elmo every time the guy loses his erection. If he can't learn to keep it up with a condom on, *he either needs to go home and practice or find another girl who is ok with waiting...and waiting...for sexual gratification and/or fucking him at half mast.*



Just to note, this statement seems off. You've mentioned how you make men wait so that they can go home and practice, and then turn around and complain about waiting. You'd think that working with it that time would involve less waiting for both parties, and therfore limit both of your contradictory complaints, about them not wanting to wait for another day to hopefully fix the problem completely, and you not wanting to wait at the 'current' time to help resolve the issue at hand.


----------



## BigChaz

thirtiesgirl said:


> While I don't disagree with you, if you have to continually keep up the sweet talk because they continually lose the erection, eventually _this_ gal is going to lose interest. I don't always want to play tickle me Elmo every time the guy loses his erection. If he can't learn to keep it up with a condom on, he either needs to go home and practice or find another girl who is ok with waiting...and waiting...for sexual gratification and/or fucking him at half mast.



This post made me lose my boner.


----------



## FishCharming

BigChaz said:


> This post made me lose my boner.



Lubricate Ho!!!


----------



## thirtiesgirl

CastingPearls said:


> Don't forget the coffee mug filled with gin.....



Oy! Have you been using Google earth again? Stop spying, dammit! 



BigChaz said:


> This post made me lose my boner.



Oh, dear. And did you expect _me_ to help you with that??


----------



## thirtiesgirl

MasterShake said:


> No, I think it just means they're disagreeing with you. You seem to have a problem distinguishing between criticism of you and criticism of all women.
> 
> I haven't seen anyone criticize women. But I have seen a whole lot of criticism of you, as an individual person.!



When Melian writes statements like: "What the hell kind of guy is going to sit around practice-wanking into a condom? He should just save himself the annoyance and have a real wank - much more enjoyable than nailing some chick who can't keep him hard," and... "well, I'm a woman, and if my guy was having this issue I would feel that it was at least *partially* due to me," those statements are blameworthy of women. They follow the age-old sexist trope that "it's a woman's job to please her man." They are also critical of me, yes, but I choose to focus on the bigger problem, which is that statements such as these are sexist, harmful and blameworthy of all women, rather than on the individual criticism of me. I can handle the criticism. What I can't handle, because I choose not to, is the damaging stereotype being perpetrated by ignorant statements such as these.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

WillSpark said:


> Just to note, this statement seems off. You've mentioned how you make men wait so that they can go home and practice, and then turn around and complain about waiting. You'd think that working with it that time would involve less waiting for both parties, and therfore limit both of your contradictory complaints, about them not wanting to wait for another day to hopefully fix the problem completely, and you not wanting to wait at the 'current' time to help resolve the issue at hand.



Ok, let me try and help you with this, since you seem to be missing the point. As I've written time and again in this thread, I have no problem helping a guy out once or twice if the condom issue causes the loss of his erection. But if it _continues_ to be a problem, that's a problem for me. There I am in the moment, hot, horny and ready to go...and he's at half mast and we're not reaching blast off (if you'll pardon the mixed metaphors). I don't want to wait for him to get it back up again, or try to help him get it back up again...only to have the poor erection disappear a second, third, fourth...you see where I'm going with this. When I'm in the moment and ready to go, you'd better be, too. If it's a continuous problem when you slap on the rubber, or I help you with the rubber, or whatever series of events occurs, then you need to take that opportunity to go home and practice if you want to have sex with me again. _I'm_ waiting, so he can damn well wait, too, and get in some practice while he's at it so the problem hopefully doesn't reoccur. And not whine at me about "condoms suck, bareback's better, I'll pull out, I promise, I want sex nowwww" and all that b.s. I'm damn pissed off that I have to wait, too, but the guy is lucky that I'm willing to give him another chance and try again another day.

If that's not what he wants to do and he thinks I'm an unfeeling, heartless bitch for expecting him to be able to perform with a condom on, he can go find a gal who assumes men can do no wrong and doesn't mind fucking a guy at half mast.


----------



## vardon_grip

I realized that I need to apologize to thirtiesgirl for my post alluding to her or any type of mental instability. I should not have done it especially after pointing out her personal reference to joswitch. I retract any reference to crazy.


----------



## Esther

MasterShake said:


> So...the decision to abort is half ours too?



Yes. In many cases, I believe it should be.


----------



## djudex

MasterShake said:


> I sense a new marketing scheme for DJUDEX-brand condoms!



"NEW EVARSTRONG DJUDEX CONDOMS - WON'T MAKE YOUR WANG DROOP INTO YOUR TANG! JUST SLIP THE PATENTED EARBUD INTO YOUR AURAL CANAL AND IT WILL WHISPER SWEET NOTHINGS TO YOU AS YOU RUBBERIZE YOUR KING-SIZE! DON'T LOSE YOUR MEATIE AND PISS OFF YOUR SWEETIE!"


----------



## spiritangel

isamarie69 said:


> Ok heres the thing some people may not understand, having sex is not just something you do for the man, its not some big favor you should do for him, sex is something that is shared between two people and should be equally gratifing for both( if i have spelling errors over look them im on my phone) and if your having relations with a partner you should want to turn them on and keep them excited, because your excited about them! Maybe showing more interest in the sex and making it clear to the man you want it as much as he does would help keep things rolling. I remember one time i was with a partner and i was well i was visiting the lower levels, and i looked up at him very innocently and said i want it, and he just about lost it then and there! Little words certian looks the way you touch him all let him know you want it just as badly and that hes the only one that can give it to you is whats going to keep him erect during the 1 minute it takes to put on a condom, and i totally agree with everyone else when they say get involved and make it apart of play time.
> 
> Never let a partner you want to come back leave unsatisfied!



I agree It is always far far better if both people actively participate

and as for the condom thing I already said what I think if you make it part of the fun then it doesnt become this huge deal, and girls you can always practice putting them on bananas or cucumbers if your worried about it hmm there is a dvd floating around the shoalhaven with my hands putting a condom on a banana lol hmm that is neither here nor there the point I am making is the more you make it a part of the whole experience the less chance he will deflate, besides it can be very erotic and fun for you to put one on for him, or to help :-D


----------



## thirtiesgirl

^ Keep in mind, that's not always the case. Sometimes no matter what you do, because the guy doesn't have enough experience using condoms, he's not able to keep it up. "They're too icky," he hasn't practiced enough, etc. You can play around with it as much as you want, but sometimes playing the good girlfriend/good sex partner is not going to help you get what you want.


----------



## spiritangel

I am sorry i dont agree I mean there is always a learning curve with a new partner regaurdless of experience, but just like there are degrees of a female being turned on males can be the same (this is just my experience however and being me I can only speak from what I know) re degrees of hardness mayby a male can back me up on this but I have noticed that depending on what happends pre getting to the actual sex act they can sometimes be harder than others, and there are always gonna be those loosing the momentum moments its what you do in them that makes the overall difference making a partner feel bad for inexperience with condoms is gonna be a mood killer, actually helping out with the refirming much more of a turn on guess its all about how you look at it


----------



## thirtiesgirl

spiritangel said:


> I am sorry i dont agree I mean there is always a learning curve with a new partner regaurdless of experience, but just like there are degrees of a female being turned on males can be the same (this is just my experience however and being me I can only speak from what I know) re degrees of hardness mayby a male can back me up on this but I have noticed that depending on what happends pre getting to the actual sex act they can sometimes be harder than others, and there are always gonna be those loosing the momentum moments its what you do in them that makes the overall difference making a partner feel bad for inexperience with condoms is gonna be a mood killer, actually helping out with the refirming much more of a turn on guess its all about how you look at it



Yes, there's a learning curve. I'm learning about his likes and dislikes, what works for him, what doesn't, as he's learning about mine. But there's also a learning curve when it comes to experience, and I don't just mean experience with sexual partners. Some guys have just not used condoms very much because they've had sexual partners who haven't required it, so they're not used to using them.

What I find amusing is that you and a few other women here, as well as several guys (which isn't a surprise) think that when I ask a guy to get some practice masturbating with a condom, I'm "making him feel bad," as if it's a woman's sole purpose in life to please and be pleasing to all men, and that asking for what I want (which is sex in the moment) is a hideous, boner-shrinking crime. The only man I need to please, if I so choose, is the one I'm currently with, and I do what I can to make that happen. But if, after a reasonable amount of time of doing what I can to please him, he can't keep it up with a condom (and as strange as it may seem to some of you, yes, it _does_ happen), it's obvious that we're not going to be able to have sex. Most of the time, I would _like_ to have sex with the guy, and the only way it's going to happen is if he goes home and gets some practice. In the meantime, we can hang out and do other things, but neither one of us is going to get our rocks off until he gets used to having a condom on. You can tease it as much as you want, but until he's gotten used to it, he's not going to be able to keep it up when the wrapping goes on and neither one of us are going to be able to have partner-sex. And if that's something both of us want, he'll have to work on that part of his learning curve on his own.


----------



## willowmoon

Yeah I haven't read all of the threads on this whole point, but apparently I'm the ONLY guy out here who had to practice initially when it came to putting on a condom so that I wouldn't lose an erection. Obviously I don't enjoy condoms, but I will wear one if a partner would prefer it.


----------



## spiritangel

willowmoon said:


> Yeah I haven't read all of the threads on this whole point, but apparently I'm the ONLY guy out here who had to practice initially when it came to putting on a condom so that I wouldn't lose an erection. Obviously I don't enjoy condoms, but I will wear one if a partner would prefer it.



I doubt you are the only guy lol I have kown guys who wank with them on to save cleanup ect and others who dont, and if a partner was uncomforable with it I am sure I would ask what we both could do to make it easier but I certainly wouldnt demand he wank with one on...............................


----------



## BLUEeyedBanshee

thirtiesgirl said:


> When Melian writes statements like: "What the hell kind of guy is going to sit around practice-wanking into a condom? He should just save himself the annoyance and have a real wank - much more enjoyable than nailing some chick who can't keep him hard," and... "well, I'm a woman, and if my guy was having this issue I would feel that it was at least *partially* due to me," those statements are blameworthy of women. They follow the age-old sexist trope that "it's a woman's job to please her man." They are also critical of me, yes, but I choose to focus on the bigger problem, which is that statements such as these are sexist, harmful and blameworthy of all women, rather than on the individual criticism of me. I can handle the criticism. What I can't handle, because I choose not to, is the damaging stereotype being perpetrated by ignorant statements such as these.



I'm sorry but I have to completely disagree here. What Melian said about being *partially* responsible is (as far as I'm concerned) absolutely true. I also don't feel that the responsibility for sexual stimulation is laid squarely on any one person's shoulders. If you're having sex with someone, shouldn't both parties be involved? If I'm engaging in sexual activity I'm damned sure that my partner is as aroused as I am. 

I don't know but to me the whole OMG if a woman helps stimulate a guy with a condom it's a slap in the face of feminism!!! Is a pretty empty statement. While I do think that everyone is responsible for their own sexual satisfaction, I would be pretty damned pissed if my guy wasn't attentive enough to realize I didn't orgasm. (If that ever happened) Yes both partners are highly responsible for their own satisfaction, but if there isn't any interest in satisfying your partner that would be an extremely shallow and unfulfilling experience. 

Mind you, it's been years since my fiance and I have used condoms. However, when we did, there were times (yes more than one or two times) when it would cause a problem. Am I anti-feminist because I would work *with* him to get past the problem? I don't think so, not in the least. And those who know me would find an assessment of me as a compliant woman bending to societal standards in which a woman MUST please her man to be completely preposterous. 

Stimulating a guy with a condom on is not anti-feminist in any way shape or form. Being an attentive partner (Whether you're male or female) is something that should be valued in a relationship. 

I don't see how you view disagreeing with you is in anywhere near anti-woman. Not in the least. It's simply disagreeing with you. And yes if you haven't guessed I too am a woman. A woman with an independent streak a mile long. And not one above working with my guy to get past a problem rather than telling him to go off and fix it on his own.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

BLUEeyedBanshee said:


> I'm sorry but I have to completely disagree here. What Melian said about being *partially* responsible is (as far as I'm concerned) absolutely true. I also don't feel that the responsibility for sexual stimulation is laid squarely on any one person's shoulders. If you're having sex with someone, shouldn't both parties be involved? If I'm engaging in sexual activity I'm damned sure that my partner is as aroused as I am.



Again, point missed completely. I'm not advocating for not trying to help your partner when he's having an issue keeping it up with a condom. But I've had partners who have this problem _continually_, meaning it doesn't happen just once or twice, and rather than taking matters into their own hands, they continually whine at me and try to convince me to have bareback sex or get on the pill because they can't keep it up with a condom. At that point, they need to do some practicing on their own. It's not my job to teach them how.

I have no problem helping a guy out once or twice when he's dealing with the problem. But if it becomes a continual problem (which I've experienced on more than one occasion) and he starts making it _my_ issue, it's time for him to get some practice or find another sexual partner. The idea that I'm "making a guy feel bad," I should "always strive to please my partner" no matter what his issues are, and that I'm being "a boner-killer" by stating my expectations _is_ a slap in the face of feminism, as far as I'm concerned.

You're a married woman who I'd guess hasn't been in the dating scene in a while. You haven't heard some of the excuses I've heard from men, both experienced and inexperienced, regarding the condom issue. You haven't had them whine at you and try to pressure you into bareback sex or using potentially harmful birth control pills simply because they don't want to put in the time with a little condom practice. In my experience, it happens a _lot_. It's one of the reasons I've curtailed my dating activities. I'm just so tired of hearing it. And I don't feel I'm being a heartless, unfeeling bitch for asking these guys to get some practice before they come knocking on my door again. If I've tried to the best of my ability with them, and the condom issue is still a problem, the problem lies with them and not with me. Step out of your married box for a minute and try to see things from an unmarried person's perspective.


----------



## Zowie

I think this issue should be dropped, because no one seems to be understanding what anyone else is saying.

*Puts on the Mod Hat* fake mod hat is fake...
Drop it!


----------



## Wanderer

vardon_grip said:


> Right. You can't explain it either, huh? Thanks Oz.



(look askance)

Well, the "fabric softener commercial in the background" might have been a good place to start, you know.


----------



## BLUEeyedBanshee

#1 - I'm not married I am engaged.

#2 - I have heard excuses, however, I have been willing to work with any partner I've been willing to have sex with, at any time, in the past. (and it hasn't been so very long since I've been in the dating game, I agree that there are lame duck excuses and people unwilling to work. These people unwilling to work are not gender specific.)

#3 - You're making broad accusations regarding those who disagree with you. 

#4 - I'm not even sure what point you're trying to make anymore.

#5 - I have not seen one person say you should always strive to please your partner. Maybe you're reading more into their responses than I am.


----------



## Tad

It sure sounds to me like Thirties is continuing a discussion/argument she has had with other people at other places and times? Because WOW does she seem set in her position for a discussion which just came up in passing....like this is not a casual conversation topic, but something that has been a real bone of contention? (pun not intended)


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Tad said:


> It sure sounds to me like Thirties is continuing a discussion/argument she has had with other people at other places and times? Because WOW does she seem set in her position for a discussion which just came up in passing....like this is not a casual conversation topic, but something that has been a real bone of contention? (pun not intended)



I knew when I brought the subject up that I'd get flak for it. It happens every time I ask people, especially men, to think about their mind-body connection when it comes to sex, rather than acquiescing to the standard line of thinking that women shouldn't "be demanding" when it comes to sex, we should always be pleasant, helpful and attractive, even if we're not getting what we want from it. The same would have happened if I'd suggested that it might be a good idea for men to practice thinking of other things while having sex to help themselves last longer.

But since we've been told to drop the discussion, it makes no sense to continue it and go on upsetting people because I don't conform to their standard line of thinking. It wouldn't be the first time.


----------



## Paquito

I am so proud of myself for not being the thread derailer for once.

Enjoy it people, because the rest will very likely be my fault.


----------



## Tad

thirtiesgirl said:


> I knew when I brought the subject up that I'd get flak for it.



Actually, I have no comment on the gist of what you were saying, my issue was that you seemed to interpret every reply as flak, no matter what they said. It may not be the case in your head, but you came across--at least to me-- sounding like any answer other than "Oh my, why did I never see that, you are absolutely right!" was going to be 'wrong.' 

Or to put it another way, that you were delivering a lecture to an audience that you had already decided was unappreciative, rather than taking part in a discussion.

So let me take another run at this....what sort of response were you hoping to see?


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

BLUEeyedBanshee said:


> #1 - I'm not married I am engaged.
> 
> #2 - I have heard excuses, however, I have been willing to work with any partner I've been willing to have sex with, at any time, in the past. (and it hasn't been so very long since I've been in the dating game, I agree that there are lame duck excuses and people unwilling to work. These people unwilling to work are not gender specific.)
> 
> #3 - You're making broad accusations regarding those who disagree with you.
> 
> #4 - I'm not even sure what point you're trying to make anymore.
> 
> #5 - I have not seen one person say you should always strive to please your partner. Maybe you're reading more into their responses than I am.



AND ON the 401st Post, The BlueEyedBanshee Spoke, and it was so.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Tad said:


> Actually, I have no comment on the gist of what you were saying, my issue was that you seemed to interpret every reply as flak, no matter what they said. It may not be the case in your head, but you came across--at least to me-- sounding like any answer other than "Oh my, why did I never see that, you are absolutely right!" was going to be 'wrong.'



Because I've heard all the arguments made here before and I don't subscribe to them. Is that so hard to understand?



Tad said:


> Or to put it another way, that you were delivering a lecture to an audience that you had already decided was unappreciative, rather than taking part in a discussion.
> 
> So let me take another run at this....what sort of response were you hoping to see?



I didn't post my initial comment about masturbating with condoms with the intent of starting a discussion. In fact, I was rather hoping no discussion would occur, whether people agree with me or not. But I knew, as I wrote above, that every time I mention issues like this on an internet forum, discussion will occur because there are so many people conditioned to believe that a woman assertively stating what she wants from a sexual partner is an indication of her inability to relate to men, be acquiescent, agreeable and helpful at all times, and, on occasion, an indication of her "hatred" of men. That's why I stated in my initial post that I have my flak jacket at the ready for anyone who chooses to disagree with me. I stand by my opinions and will support them, whether the general consensus is supportive of me or not. I've worked too long and hard on the person I've become and my feelings about certain issues to give up so easily.


----------



## vardon_grip

Wanderer said:


> (look askance)
> 
> Well, the "fabric softener commercial in the background" might have been a good place to start, you know.



Why even reply if you don't have an answer? It looks like you don't have an answer too.
I know that a reference to a commercial that in my mind included the Snuggle bear, fresh mountain berry scent and harp music (like a lot fabric softener/laundry commercials have) in the background is NOT REMOTELY sexist. Unless, MAYBE (and this is a long shot) you are a furry with a Snuggle bug up an orifice or got some weird grudge against harpists or fruit. 

You really got to be reaching to make it sexist.


----------



## joswitch

thirtiesgirl said:


> *snip*
> I'm snarky because *what I read* from Joswitch and Vardan_Grip is a lot of woman-blaming for the lack of their erections, insinuations that I'm an unfeeling, heartless bitch for telling a guy to go get some practice, and not a lot of understanding.
> 
> If what you're saying is true, that women are "partially responsible" for helping their guy keep his erection, and taking Joswitch's statement at face value, that the guys can't control their "little head," it will do what it wills, when it wills it, who would you then blame if you're walking down the street with your guy and he suddenly gets an erection because a girl in a revealing dress passes by? According to you, if the woman is "partially responsible" for keeping her guy stimulated, it's then the woman's fault for wearing such a revealing dress and being "partially responsible" for the guy's erection. According to Joswitch, his "little head" is pulling the strings and simply responding to the stimulus of a woman in a revealing dress. Never mind that he's walking down the street with his significant other at his side. He can't control his thoughts, apparently, and his "little head" will do what it wills and respond to the stimulus he sees.
> 
> If this is your line of argument, and Jos's, wouldn't you agree that it's incredibly limiting for both men and women? It lays all the responsibility and blame at women's collective feet for being responsible for guys' sexual stimulation, and takes all the responsibility away from men and paints them as nothing but salivating dogs who leap up at the sound of a bell. I find this line of thinking incredibly limiting and stereotypical. Don't you think guys want to be perceived as something other than salivating dogs that just respond to stimulus, without any thought involved? We can do better than that. Don't you want something better for yourself?



Yo! WTF! Don't be making shit up and pretending I said it!
*Quote me* or leave my name out of your post! 
Also: your reading comprehension leaves a LOT to be desired.


----------



## joswitch

bionic_eggplant said:


> Well, if the guy goes soft and had a problem with the condom, just work with him to get him aroused again, no?
> 
> And I'm with Melian, I do consider myself partially responsible if a guy isn't 'interested', although I may also have absolutely nothing to do with it. *Look at it the other way, if a girl is a little dry, the guy won't just stare at her at say, "Lubricate, hoe!". It doesn't work that way either.*



Lolz!
I cannot rep you, this is sad...
Cos...
You rule!


----------



## joswitch

thirtiesgirl said:


> If he can't keep it up with a condom, though, and continually has a problem with it, that's an issue. Unfortunately, short of male enhancement pills and penis pumps, both of which have their problems and possible hazards, there is no way for a guy to magically keep an erection, short of working on his mind-body connection.
> 
> It's the same way guys work at learning more stamina during intercourse. They concentrate on other things, using their brains as 'interference' of sorts, to help keep them hard and keep them going. The same applies to keeping it up with a condom.
> 
> Now, of course, the cock ring is always an option, but I've never had a sexual partner who felt comfortable using one, *snip*



So good of you to share *your experience of what it's like to be a man.*
Breathtaking!
/sarcasm


----------



## joswitch

thirtiesgirl said:


> *snip*
> 
> 
> 
> Oh, dear. And did you expect _me_ to help you with that??


----------



## thirtiesgirl

What part of "drop the discussion" is so hard for you to understand?


----------



## joswitch

bionic_eggplant said:


> I think this issue should be dropped, because no one seems to be understanding what anyone else is saying.
> 
> *Puts on the Mod Hat* fake mod hat is fake...
> Drop it!



Sorry Bionic, I was reading the thread sequentially and I didn't read this^ til after I made the last lot of replies.


----------



## Paquito

Everyone just needs to lubricate and move on.

Ho.


----------



## spiritangel

to get this thread back on track erm

Yes I love to cook for you and stuff but would love it if you would occasionally cook for me to


----------



## vardon_grip

BigChaz said:


> This post made me lose my boner.



Yeah, Mxyzptlk whips out the kryptonite condom and the men go weak in the superman.



lrigseitriht!


----------



## BigChaz

Guys, gals, I have a serious problem.

Every time I have a man in my room and we get naked he goes flaccid! Why are all the men in America being born with faulty dicks? As soon as they put the condom on...well...it fades. It's just gone. Everything is right with the situation:

1) They are having sex with *me*
2) I am naked
3) I am involved

I don't see any point of failure in this setup. I am in all three of those steps, so obviously the man is the problem. I think I have the solution though. Every man should go home and put a condom on and masturbate. Train your penis to be remain hard no matter how horrible the situation. Then you will be able to have sex with me.

I can't wait to you boys fix your little (heh) problems. Good luck guys! :smitten:


----------



## isamarie69

I would have really enjoyed hearing from the gay members of Dimensions and their feelings or solutions on this problem.


----------



## isamarie69

joswitch said:


> Yo! WTF! Don't be making shit up and pretending I said it!
> *Quote me* or leave my name out of your post!
> Also: your reading comprehension leaves a LOT to be desired.




I think with this post the fella had the right to defend himself.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

BigChaz said:


> Guys, gals, I have a serious problem.
> 
> Every time I have a man in my room and we get naked he goes flaccid! Why are all the men in America being born with faulty dicks? As soon as they put the condom on...well...it fades. It's just gone. Everything is right with the situation:
> 
> 1) They are having sex with *me*
> 2) I am naked
> 3) I am involved
> 
> I don't see any point of failure in this setup. I am in all three of those steps, so obviously the man is the problem. I think I have the solution though. Every man should go home and put a condom on and masturbate. Train your penis to be remain hard no matter how horrible the situation. Then you will be able to have sex with me.
> 
> I can't wait to you boys fix your little (heh) problems. Good luck guys! :smitten:



I love how mod posts are just completely ignored here. I'm also not surprised to see the woman-blaming continue. If you don't like me, Chaz, just say so, but no need to blame women for what is a male issue.


----------



## BigChaz

thirtiesgirl said:


> I love how mod posts are just completely ignored here. I'm also not surprised to see the woman-blaming continue. If you don't like me, Chaz, just say so, but no need to blame women for what is a male issue.



Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I didn't direct this post at you. This post is about me, honey. I should have known better than to not preface this post with that warning. I am so sorry, darling.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

BigChaz said:


> Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I didn't direct this post at you. This post is about me, honey. I should have known better than to not preface this post with that warning. I am so sorry, darling.



Blow smoke up someone else's skirt, will you please?


----------



## BLUEeyedBanshee

Alrighty now, this time it is the mod posting. I thing we've all had a chance to have our say on the subject of condoms etc. So lets see what other things should the opposite gender know?

Just trying to get things back on track.

/mod


----------



## inkedinto

Re-railing thread attempt 1 - 

Boys - If you tell me all the time how hot and sexy I am.. expect me to start to like you and want to talk to you and see you - and don't be suprized when I get upset because you decide to work everyday instead....especially when I am moving 2 hours away....


----------



## Stevenz1inoc

Soooo...... This one time at band camp......


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

BLUEeyedBanshee said:


> Alrighty now, this time it is the mod posting. I thing we've all had a chance to have our say on the subject of condoms etc. So lets see what other things should the opposite gender know?
> 
> Just trying to get things back on track.
> 
> /mod



Let me try this again . . . 

And on That Day, the Mod spoke . . . and SO IT WAS!!!


----------



## RentonBob

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> Let me try this again . . .
> 
> And on That Day, the Mod spoke . . . and SO IT WAS!!!



So sayeth the mod, so sayeth the flock :bow:


----------



## BLUEeyedBanshee

Ok so here goes - not all chicks love chick flicks. (in fact some of us despise most) Some of us greatly prefer horror and action flicks. 

Oh wait, how about this, males and females both are as varied as any other human being, and each one should be taken as the wonderful individuals we are.


----------



## FishCharming

BLUEeyedBanshee said:


> Ok so here goes - not all chicks love chick flicks. (in fact some of us despise most) Some of us greatly prefer horror and action flicks.
> 
> Oh wait, how about this, males and females both are as varied as any other human being, and each one should be taken as the wonderful individuals we are.



and sometimes guys like chickflicks. personally i love a good romantic comedy


----------



## BigChaz

I use dates as an excuse to see chick flicks. True story.


----------



## spiritangel

If you have lost interest, ect just be honest and tell us, yes were gonna be hurt but it is far better to know where you stand than be left blowing in the breeze wondering what happend to all the promise and potential that seems to have vanished ect and same goes for women to I think that its important to be honest


----------



## adelicateflwr

LOVE it!!


----------



## adelicateflwr

BigChaz said:


> I use dates as an excuse to see chick flicks. True story.



i think it's a great plan!


----------



## WillSpark

This is only something I can say for me and me alone that the opposite sex should know.

Most of the time sex actually plays no specific role in my attraction. I absolutely care about my standards of attractiveness because looks are appealing (that's why it's called attractiveness, duh), but rarely does it translate into anything relating to sexual activity. It's almost always that I'd want to spend time with you, or do something romantic with you, and have a strong conversation and some close contact, but for the most part sex doesn't come into the equation, because for me, and only for me, sex is something I'm willing to give to someone who I can build a strong relationship with, and the relationship itself is so much more important because that's what is going to last.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

adelicateflwr said:


> i think it's a great plan!



oh . . . . shit . . .


----------



## spiritangel

WillSpark said:


> This is only something I can say for me and me alone that the opposite sex should know.
> 
> Most of the time sex actually plays no specific role in my attraction. I absolutely care about my standards of attractiveness because looks are appealing (that's why it's called attractiveness, duh), but rarely does it translate into anything relating to sexual activity. It's almost always that I'd want to spend time with you, or do something romantic with you, and have a strong conversation and some close contact, but for the most part sex doesn't come into the equation, because for me, and only for me, sex is something I'm willing to give to someone who I can build a strong relationship with, and the relationship itself is so much more important because that's what is going to last.




Huggles well said Will


----------



## Zowie

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> oh . . . . shit . . .



You're going to have to stop being creepy, now.


----------



## BigChaz

bionic_eggplant said:


> You're going to have to stop being creepy, now.



That's what SHE said!


----------



## adelicateflwr

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> oh . . . . shit . . .



hahaha!! shut up! check out my avatar! cute, eh?! (non-creepy question) hehe


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

adelicateflwr said:


> hahaha!! shut up! check out my avatar! cute, eh?! (non-creepy question) hehe



I like it, it's a good picture.


----------



## Tad

thirtiesgirl said:


> I didn't post my initial comment about masturbating with condoms with the intent of starting a discussion. In fact, I was rather hoping no discussion would occur, whether people agree with me or not.



Ah, then for your future reference, I'll mention that the surest way to kill off a discussion is to simply not respond. If all you wanted to do was state your case, then not have a discussion about it....then it really is that simple. Make the one post, maybe add to the end that you know not everyone will agree but that you aren't interested in discussing it, then stay away from responding.

Believe me, I've been on that other side, where people just won't seem to leave alone something I'd rather not go on and on about....so the above is speaking from experience.


----------



## KittyKitten

BLUEeyedBanshee said:


> Ok so here goes - not all chicks love chick flicks. (in fact some of us despise most) Some of us greatly prefer horror and action flicks.
> 
> Oh wait, how about this, males and females both are as varied as any other human being, and each one should be taken as the wonderful individuals we are.



True, I hate chick flicks. I've always been a drama, horror, or action film type of girl. I hate the lifetime network.


----------



## SlightlyMorbid

What the opposite gender should know is,

Just wuff me tender? -halo-

ANd put the damn toilet seat down =P


----------



## MrBob

Dear women, 

We are not psychic, we are not some sort of emotionally intuitive modern day Sherlock Holmes. Honestly, we do not have a clue what you're thinking, why you're upset or how we can help. Tell us and if it's us we'll rectify it, if it's something else we'll offer support (NB. If it's something we consider pointless, dumb or plain crazy we will roll our eyes, quick hug and then step away from the crazy lady)

Yours faithfully,
Men

Oh, and you know if you see a guy and you're into him, can you try and be a bit less subtle, as I said we don't know shit about what goes on in your head.

And if we don't mention your new haircut, it's not that we haven't noticed, it's that we don't really know what we should say.


----------



## SlightlyMorbid

Dear men,

Stop littering your laundry around and help with the cleaning =P


----------



## Zowie

Dear men, you're generally pretty awesome and a heck of a lot 'better' than most women. Keep up the good work, and thank you for not being catty.


----------



## GlassDaemon

If I'm angry and you don't know why, but you also don't remember what I said in the last five minutes.... it's not because I expect you to read my mind.... 

If I'm cuddled up to you and kissing your body, I probably want sex, just cause I don't grab life by the horns doesn't mean I don't want it. 

Just because I'm upset and reluctant to say why doesn't mean I expect you to just KNOW, it means I expect you to notice that something is in fact wrong and TALK to me. 

I'm not intentionally not telling you, it's probably a sensitive topic or something I'm embarrassed to admit. Work with me here.

When I say I don't want to do something, I'm not trying to be cute, I really don't want to watch the blood and gore movie. Yes, it will freak me out, yes I will have nightmares, and no matter how much of a macho man you think you are, you're doing me absolutely no good in my nightmares. 

Just because I love you doesn't mean you can put it in my butt. 


^These are a lot of personal ones, getting more personal as I typed lol. It made me feel better/giggle to type it though.


----------



## GentleSavage

Please don't talk about how awful men are when I'm around you, and that all men are the same, etc... Clearly not all men are the same, otherwise you wouldn't be talking to me about it. Girls can be bitches too. Everyone can be an asshole.


Also when you say "I wish I could date/like someone just like you, you're so nice" after you'e rejected my advances for a relationship, it makes me feel like poop.


----------



## SlightlyMorbid

Dear men,

(not aimed at anyone in particular on these boards, so you know)

When we are not appreciative if your advances, know that it is not accepted if you push them on and definitely don't get 'butthurt' with me if I chew you out when you do push the limit with me and I verbally tore your fragile, fickle ego to shreds.

In simple words: Back off. Don't push yourself on me. I like playing with needles and scalpels ._.


----------



## joswitch

spiritangel said:


> If you have lost interest, ect just be honest and tell us, yes were gonna be hurt but it is far better to know where you stand than be left blowing in the breeze wondering what happend to all the promise and potential that seems to have vanished ect *and same goes for women to* I think that its important to be honest



^Yep. Absolutely.

Don't beat around the bush. Grit your teeth, make that phone call and say "Sorry, you're dumped".

Don't waffle and umm and errr, and say it's a temporary timeout, and then change your status on FB. That's some cowardly business.

Make a clean, honest break of it and at least the guy may respect you for not messing him about.


----------



## RedheadinNJ

Dear Men,
-I realize you aren't all the same. The women you meet aren't all the same either and you really shouldn't start out by comparing me to the last woman you were in a relationship with. She isn't here anymore and comparing me to her is a recipe for disaster. And, after the first time I hear about your past you don't need to keep referring to it. You will hear the vaguest details about my past but only if you ask. Why? Because the reality of it is you don't want to hear about him. You want to talk about you. 
-I'm not a mind reader. If you have something to say, just say it. I'm going to be honest with you and I expect the same in return. 
-Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. 
-Don't ask me for the truth if you can't handle it. This covers any and all subject matter. I don't sugarcoat anything...except baked goods. 
-Just because I'm quiet doesn't mean I'm mad at you. As a matter of fact, it probably has absolutely nothing to do with you at all and I don't want to talk about it. However, each time you ask me "What's wrong?" and I say "Nothing", that just increases the chances of me getting mad at you. Since I'm already mad, do you think that's a good idea?
-Yes, I have male friends. Yes, they've been part of my life for years. No, I haven't slept with them and no, I don't intend to. They are not your competition. Actually, if you would get to know them they could probably tell you some great stories about me. 
-Pay attention to the little stuff. I know how you like your coffee, your friends names, the kind of movies and books you like. I expect you to make note of these things about me. You bring me a cup of coffee the way you like it instead of the way I like it; that tells me if you can't be bothered to remember the little stuff, you won't remember the big details either. 
-If I ask you what or how you like or don't like something be specific with the answer. I'm taking notes...I'll remember what you said. You have a much better chance of getting what you want from me if I know what it is. If I have to guess you're probably not going to get it. 
-If I'm going to do girly things and you don't want to go, just say so. Don't come along with me and make my day miserable because you don't want to be there but for some reason think it's required of you. It's not. I would rather go alone and enjoy myself than have you there if you don't want to be. The same goes for me. I might join you the first time if it's something new to me and I think I might enjoy it. If I don't once I get there I'll keep my mouth shut but next time you're on your own. If you're going to do something that doesn't interest me I won't be joining you with the intention of making you miserable while you're there. Go, enjoy yourself, take you time. I'll be right here when you get back. 
-And last...I'm closely watching how you treat or talk about your mother and the other women in your family. If you treat them with love and respect that's extra points for you. If not, bye-bye.


----------



## SlightlyMorbid

Dear men.

Be aware that I have a terrible temper at some times. Test it at your own risk ._.


----------



## Lil BigginZ

SlightlyMorbid said:


> Dear men.
> 
> Be aware that I have a terrible temper at some times. Test it at your own risk ._.



i use to test my ex wife lolololol always say "awwww you're so cute when you're angry" which made the temper tantrum even worse, but it was hilarious lol


----------



## SlightlyMorbid

Lil BigginZ said:


> i use to test my ex wife lolololol always say "awwww you're so cute when you're angry" which made the temper tantrum even worse, but it was hilarious lol



roflmao, that kinda thing mostly gave my boyfriend blue nipples =P

EDIT: 

Men, just because I seem pretty confident, I still have feelings. Just. Gah. Don't fucking play with me -bites down on stressball-


----------



## Lil BigginZ

SlightlyMorbid said:


> roflmao, that kinda thing mostly gave my boyfriend blue nipples =P
> 
> EDIT:
> 
> Men, just because I seem pretty confident, I still have feelings. Just. Gah. Don't fucking play with me -bites down on stressball-



sometimes pushing the right buttons at the wrong time is fun


----------



## MrBob

Lil BigginZ said:


> i use to test my ex wife lolololol always say "awwww you're so cute when you're angry" which made the temper tantrum even worse, but it was hilarious lol



I am guilty of this, nearly had a plate smashed on my head because of it but couldn't resist taking the piss.


----------



## GlassDaemon

RedheadinNJ said:


> Dear Men,
> -I realize you aren't all the same. The women you meet aren't all the same either and you really shouldn't start out by comparing me to the last woman you were in a relationship with. She isn't here anymore and comparing me to her is a recipe for disaster. And, after the first time I hear about your past you don't need to keep referring to it. You will hear the vaguest details about my past but only if you ask. Why? Because the reality of it is you don't want to hear about him. You want to talk about you.
> 
> -Don't ask me for the truth if you can't handle it. This covers any and all subject matter. I don't sugarcoat anything...except baked goods.
> -Just because I'm quiet doesn't mean I'm mad at you. As a matter of fact, it probably has absolutely nothing to do with you at all and I don't want to talk about it. However, each time you ask me "What's wrong?" and I say "Nothing", that just increases the chances of me getting mad at you. Since I'm already mad, do you think that's a good idea?



1. I have only ever had one serious relationship, but I don't think he's ever straight up compared me, but I have felt the stress of the scars his previous girlfriend's have left on him, the insecurity and paranoia. Regardless, I actually like learning about them, they're part of him and I'm a curious one.

2. Yes, oh god, I'm so tired of that crap. I'm a mean nasty person and when I say it blunt and honest it usually catches people off guard and leaves a nasty mark in it's wake. Don't ask the question if you fear the answer.

3. I'm guilty of this, though I may not necessarily be mad at him I am mad, but I like to talk out my problems, sometimes I'm reluctant to discuss them only because I wonder how much he actually cares, or they may be an embarrassing topic for me so it's harder to get out. LIKE A VIRGIN! (Sorry I just had a flash back of how nervous I was as a virgin lol, I'm fairly certain I was the color of a tomato the first time I saw him naked, and my hands shook like MAD when he put his hand over mine and guided me to touch him. Yea, tmi, sorry, shutting up now...)


----------



## ManBeef

Dear ladies,
I am well aware of my yummy factor. But PLEASE stop grabbing my titties && making kissie/suckie fices!!! (Fice, not face, fice) That is my move && I intend on using it till I die. I want it back thank you very much

(I am sure my supple breast are amazing but they need a rest)


----------



## BLK360

A thing for women to know, and I don't speak for all men...just a decent number.

Porn is not always an accurate portrayal of what a man would like to happen in bed. My asshole is off limits, and I don't care in what video you saw some woman giving a man an "old fashioned." (if i'm getting that right.)


----------



## MrBob

Ladies....if you 'poke' me on facebook, I will assume that you want to have sexual relations with me and proceed accordingly. (in a 'How you doin?' way, not creepy sex pest style) Actually, I proceed on that unstated assumption anyway. It does lead to disappointment a lot of the time.


----------



## CastingPearls

LOL I don't 'poke' anyone on FB because I want to have sex with them.okaaaaaay maybe one person but he doesn't poke back so that doesn't count. RIGHT?  I just poke everyone to say Hi and thinking of you.


----------



## That Guy You Met Once

First of all, despite what a lot of movies, sitcoms, and especially anime might say, hitting us is not cool. Unless we really, really deserve it. Molestation, serious harassment, and abuse (physical or verbal) are fine grounds. Merely annoying you or making a slightly rude sexual advance is not.

Secondly, I know it's been said a lot, but you really should be more forthcoming when you like someone.

It might not seem like that big a deal, but here's something to think about: The reason men study "pick up artistry" is so they can learn the subtle signs women give off and charm them more effectively.

So in other words, either you learn to be more assertive, or you'll be seeing a lot more guys like this:







Is being subtle really worth it?


----------



## HeavyDuty24

we don't want to hear about your ex's,sorry.


----------



## Melian

That Guy You Met Once said:


> So in other words, either you learn to be more assertive, or you'll be seeing a lot more guys like this:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Is being subtle really worth it?



Bahahaha...oh jebus.

This is just a hypothesis (coming from a woman who is NOT subtle, at that), but I think that women don't blatantly hit on men because they hate it when men do that to them, so they just feel like they're doing it the classy way or something.

The bulk of men who have hit on me have just been gross about it, approaching when I'm obviously not into it, making some retarded comment about liking my ass or something along those lines, and then not accepting "no" as an answer (well...more like, "go kill yourself," but you get the idea). I bet a lot of other women have been in this situation many times, themselves, so it makes sense that they might want to tone it down when they approach men, just to avoid being "that gross guy." Know what I mean?


----------



## rellis10

HeavyDuty24 said:


> we don't want to hear about your ex's,sorry.



Personally I don't mind this to an extent. I want to know everything about a person if I'm involved with them and these past relationships can have a big impact.

Ok, so maybe not EVERYTHING about the ex's (if he ate frosties for breakfast or his favorite book is harry potter), but if it's important to her then I don't mind. Actually I've been known to ask about ex's before anyway... so really not much of an issue.


----------



## CastingPearls

I have to agree with Rellis. You can learn a lot about a person by how they interacted with their ex's and even how they ended it. It says a lot for example, if they are still friends.....I doubt very much that I would have any jealousy about someone from the past, especially if I were with them now (or it appeared like a sure thing.)

Another good thing is you can tell if they're also really and truly OVER them too.


----------



## MrBob

CastingPearls said:


> LOL I don't 'poke' anyone on FB because I want to have sex with them.okaaaaaay maybe one person but he doesn't poke back so that doesn't count. RIGHT?  I just poke everyone to say Hi and thinking of you.



Well, it turns out I was being poked by a girl today who was interested in riding the Bob train...though I think my charm and persuasiveness on fb chat might have helped a little. Complete stranger too, added me this morning and poked me straight away, apparently I did chat to her briefly at a gig I played about 6 weeks ago but I have no recollection of this at all. Still (just) in her teens too, which does this 32 year old's ego no end of good.

[SMUGMODE=ENGAGED]




[/SMUGMODE]


----------



## samuraiscott

1) ALL MEN are not alike. Some of the males masquerading as men give the rest of us a bad name.

2) I am not your ex boyfriend, so stop assuming all men are exactly alike. Sure, most guys are down for the dirty dirty at any time, but we don't all like the same things. In other words, we can be as complex as you are or as easy to figure out as it is to turn a computer on.


----------



## samuraiscott

Also, no dumping via phone, text, Facebook, IM, or Twitter. Have some courage when it comes to letting us go. I know some of you will say "guys do that crap." It's a coward move for either sex.


----------



## joswitch

SlightlyMorbid said:


> Dear men.
> 
> Be aware that I have a terrible temper at some times. Test it at your own risk ._.



Dear SlightlyMorbid

Thank you for being upfront about your terrible temper.
We appreciate the warning to staythehellaway.


----------



## joswitch

samuraiscott said:


> Also, no dumping via phone, text, Facebook, IM, or Twitter. Have some courage when it comes to letting us go. I know some of you will say "guys do that crap." It's a coward move for either sex.



There's definitely an unspoken dumping etiquette:

Between 1 to 3 dates, dump via text is fine. What? You hardly know each other.

4 or more dates to 6 months (or less) dumping by phone call is fine. A text at that point is really not enough.

6months + a face to face is probably right, unless it's impossible due to distance or similar reason. Feeling a bit awkward, really doesn't cut it. 
I got phone dumped after 3years together! Suuuuuuuuucked.

3rd hand or public announcement dumping (e.g. changing your relationship status on FB) is really out of order and yes, cowardly.


----------



## LeoGibson

Ladies,
Be yourselves at all times.We will either click or we won't.It will work out or it won't.We will last for all time or we won't.Don't become so bogged down in minutiae that you lose sight of yourself.The more free you are, the better chance we have of really enjoying the time we share together.There are no guarantees on how long something will last,but how enjoyable it is, that is completely in our own hands.


----------



## mossystate

That Guy You Met Once said:


> ...making a slightly rude sexual advance is not.



Errrr..wanna explain?


----------



## FishCharming

mossystate said:


> Errrr..wanna explain?



for example, i say "nice shoes! wanna fuck?"

or at least that's how i interpret it 

oooh, or my favorite, "you should come over and see my bedroom, it has an amazing view of the ceiling" 

i have yet to be hit for either of these but i can't say they're wildly successful either, lol


----------



## HeavyDuty24

rellis10 said:


> Personally I don't mind this to an extent. I want to know everything about a person if I'm involved with them and these past relationships can have a big impact.
> 
> Ok, so maybe not EVERYTHING about the ex's (if he ate frosties for breakfast or his favorite book is harry potter), but if it's important to her then I don't mind. Actually I've been known to ask about ex's before anyway... so really not much of an issue.




i actually don't mind it either to an extent,but what i meant was like when they talk about there ex's in a sense like there not quite over them,that's what i meant.like if were on a date and i order something off a restaurant menu and she says "o my ex loved that dish too" it's kinda like ooook or you with him or me? lol.i just don't like it in the vain of when there like comparing you to them in that sense.i don't mind talking about someone ex's,as you say i do want to know everything about a person,that is all fine and good,but when it gets like to the point of what i mentioned above,that's when it gets to be alittle too much i feel.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

CastingPearls said:


> I have to agree with Rellis. You can learn a lot about a person by how they interacted with their ex's and even how they ended it. It says a lot for example, if they are still friends.....I doubt very much that I would have any jealousy about someone from the past, especially if I were with them now (or it appeared like a sure thing.)
> 
> Another good thing is you can tell if they're also really and truly OVER them too.




but if that person mentions there ex all the time it makes me thing there not over them.it's like they have not quite moved on yet


----------



## CastingPearls

HeavyDuty24 said:


> but if that person mentions there ex all the time it makes me thing there not over them.it's like they have not quite moved on yet


That's what my last sentence was directed at.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

CastingPearls said:


> That's what my last sentence was directed at.




o yes i figured as much i was just agreeing with you pretty much.lol if they bring them up every chance they get,there really not over them,i have dealt with those types before haha.lol


----------



## FishCharming

HeavyDuty24 said:


> o yes i figured as much i was just agreeing with you pretty much.lol if they bring them up every chance they get,there really not over them,i have dealt with those types before haha.lol



ugh, especially when they're constantly comparing you to their ex. my ex never took me out, my ex always cancelled plans, my ex never roofied me and tried to sell me on the black market, etc... I AM NOT YOUR DAMN EX, WOMAN!


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## HeavyDuty24

FishCharming said:


> ugh, especially when they're constantly comparing you to their ex. my ex never took me out, my ex always cancelled plans, my ex never roofied me and tried to sell me on the black market, etc... I AM NOT YOUR DAMN EX, WOMAN!




see you know what i mean.lol i don't mind talking about the ex just not in the manner you mentioned all the time ya know.


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## Sasquatch!

Tell me about it.

"My Ex liked it when I did that"
"My Ex was ok with nipple clamps"
"You're not crying. My Ex used to cry after."
"You want more? My Ex could only last 30 seconds."


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## MrBob

Sasquatch! said:


> Tell me about it.
> 
> "My Ex liked it when I did that"
> "My Ex was ok with nipple clamps"
> "You're not crying. My Ex used to cry after."
> "You want more? My Ex could only last 30 seconds."



God I miss that woman!:doh:


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## FishCharming

Sasquatch! said:


> Tell me about it.
> 
> "My Ex liked it when I did that"
> "My Ex was ok with nipple clamps"
> "You're not crying. My Ex used to cry after."
> "You want more? My Ex could only last 30 seconds."



even that shit gets old after a while. all i can think of, while you explain to me all the ways i am better in bed than every other guy you've ever slept with, is what you'll be saying about me to the _*next*_ guy you sleep with.


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## FishCharming

FishCharming said:


> even that shit gets old after a while. all i can think of, while you explain to me all the ways i am better in bed than every other guy you've ever slept with, is what you'll be saying about me to the _*next*_ guy you sleep with.



which i know is bullshit because i am TERRIBLE in the sack. 12 seconds of sweaty grunting followed by an hour of tears and apologies.


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## Forgotten_Futures

SlightlyMorbid said:


> I like playing with needles and scalpels ._.



Are you certain you live in the Netherlands? You remind me of several friends...



SlightlyMorbid said:


> Dear men.
> 
> Be aware that I have a terrible temper at some times. Test it at your own risk ._.



I find myself aroused by this notion. I, too, have an explosive temper and a short fuse.


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## cakeboy

Melian said:


> Bahahaha...oh jebus.
> 
> 
> The bulk of men who have hit on me have just been gross about it, approaching when I'm obviously not into it, making some retarded comment about liking my ass or something along those lines, and then not accepting "no" as an answer (well...more like, "go kill yourself," but you get the idea). I bet a lot of other women have been in this situation many times, themselves, so it makes sense that they might want to tone it down when they approach men, just to avoid being "that gross guy." Know what I mean?



I'm going to hit on you by biting your ass and rubbing my nipples with a bottle of premium vodka. Are you in?

This is much classier than what I usually do, which is make the Facebook duck lips face, dance like Ke$ha after a traumatic brain injury, and yell "Baby I'm going to fuck the wrinkles right out of you!" at cougars. :wubu:


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## SlightlyMorbid

Forgotten_Futures said:


> Are you certain you live in the Netherlands? You remind me of several friends...
> 
> 
> 
> I find myself aroused by this notion. I, too, have an explosive temper and a short fuse.




I indeed live in the Netherlands o.o My origins however, I really don't know much about.



Men have always thought I was sexy when angry. I never know whether to punch them or laugh when they say that.


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## Forgotten_Futures

SlightlyMorbid said:


> Men have always thought I was sexy when angry. I never know whether to punch them or laugh when they say that.



I say again,


Forgotten_Futures said:


> Are you certain you live in the Netherlands? You remind me of several friends...


----------



## Melian

cakeboy said:


> I'm going to hit on you by biting your ass and rubbing my nipples with a bottle of premium vodka. Are you in?
> 
> This is much classier than what I usually do, which is make the Facebook duck lips face, dance like Ke$ha after a traumatic brain injury, and yell "Baby I'm going to fuck the wrinkles right out of you!" at cougars. :wubu:



I'm SO in.

Didn't Ke$ha already have a TBI or two?


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## Cobra Verde

It's not the fault of my entire gender if all your boyfriends have turned out to be bastards.
It just means you're attracted to assholes. Whose fault is that?


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## Cobra Verde

Also, it would't kill you to play with our balls. They're not for decoration...


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## bigmac

Cobra Verde said:


> It's not the fault of my entire gender if all your boyfriends have turned out to be bastards.
> *It just means you're attracted to assholes.* Whose fault is that?




Yes and its not like most of these guys concealing their true colors. You don't know how many times I've watched female friends and acquaintances go for obvious assholes. I gave up trying to warn them -- just sit back and wait for the inevitable "I can't believe he did (whatever he did)" phone call.

And these are smart educated women!


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## Paquito

We find "Nice Guys" just as annoying and full of shit as you do.


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## djudex

My penis makes money and chocolate.

Pull here for prize!


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## bigmac

Paquito said:


> We find "Nice Guys" just as annoying and full of shit as you do.



"Nice guys" aren't any better than assholes. However, there are other options.


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## Forgotten_Futures

bigmac said:


> "I can't believe he did (whatever he did)" phone call.



Obvious unspoken response: "Uhh, I can?"


----------



## WhiteHotRazor

I wanna hear stories about your cat about as much as you wanna hear stories about my truck.


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## The Dark Lady

Some of us love trucks and want to hear all the stories about them.


----------



## sophie lou

You either think i like the top of your head or you just like talking to my tits


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## Anjula

We really really love sex.

Some of us really really like BJ.

Most of you suck at eating pussy, we just won't tell you this. That's not your fault, I personally think its wayyyy harder to give amazing head to woman than to man.

Banana advice wasn't that bad, you're overreacting. It was just funny, if you still think eating banana = good blow job, you've never got a good one.

Also, not all of us go out to find a perfect match, some of us just wanna get laid. Just like guys.

Not all of us like this " I love you, you're my princess" bullshit. 

* maybe it suits only slovakians! Don't get too offended hahaha


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## Cobra Verde

The Dark Lady said:


> Some of us love trucks and want to hear all the stories about them.


I would like nothing more than to hear about ladies' cats.


Well, not _nothing _but you get the idea.


----------



## Amaranthine

sophie lou said:


> You either think i like the top of your head or you just like talking to my tits



Alternatively, feel free to look at my tits because I'm likely staring at yours. It's only fair.


----------



## Mordecai

Amaranthine said:


> Alternatively, feel free to look at my tits because I'm likely staring at yours. It's only fair.



If you're staring at my tits, you'd better be able to do something about it.


----------



## LeoGibson

You should know that those of us that drive big trucks and look down into your car windows in traffic hoping to see a nice breast flash, or a hiked up skirt, or just general freakery, are not all meth-revved creeps waiting for the right opportunity to snatch you out of your car. Mostly we're just run-of-the-mill horndogs hoping to see something out of the ordinary to relieve some of the monotony of a horrendously boring job!


----------



## Sasquatch!

Some of us just want cuddles.


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## Melian

I'm not reading through this whole damn thread just to see if someone has already posted this (or maybe I already posted it...?):

If you seriously want to lose weight, don't pretend that you like the way you look for months and then suddenly want to lose it, even though your gf is obviously VERY attracted to the way you currently look. FFS, this is annoying and it happens every goddamn time. 

Some of us employ a very rigorous selection process to filter out people like you, and don't appreciate liars!


----------



## Mordecai

Melian said:


> I'm not reading through this whole damn thread just to see if someone has already posted this (or maybe I already posted it...?):
> 
> If you seriously want to lose weight, don't pretend that you like the way you look for months and then suddenly want to lose it, even though your gf is obviously VERY attracted to the way you currently look. FFS, this is annoying and it happens every goddamn time.
> 
> Some of us employ a very rigorous selection process to filter out people like you, and don't appreciate liars!



Tell me more of this selection process...


----------



## djudex

It involves pineapple and squid


----------



## Mordecai

djudex said:


> It involves pineapple and squid



No starfish?


----------



## biglynch

You can bet your ass that this summer 95% of men in sunglasses are not wearing them for eye protection. I am not part of the 5% who are.

I will check you out.:happy:


----------



## Cobra Verde

I know this isn't applicable on this particular board but....*YOU ARE NOT FAT*.


----------



## Paquito

Cobra Verde said:


> I know this isn't applicable on this particular board but....*YOU ARE NOT FAT*.



Because fat women aren't attracted to fat men?


----------



## Cobra Verde

Paquito said:


> Because fat women aren't attracted to fat men?













You haven't heard normal-sized or even thin women complaining about how they're "fat" 10,000 times?


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## Paquito

Cobra Verde said:


> You haven't heard normal-sized or even thin women complaining about how they're "fat" 10,000 times?



Your statements about women are boring and reductive. BUT, I did misread your original statement and I apologize for that. Bye.


----------



## Cobra Verde

Oh, fudge.


----------



## Cobra Verde

> 1.) Your original statement implies that there are no fat FFAs. "You are not FAT" + not applicable on this board = no women here are fat.
> 
> 2.) Your statements about women are boring and reductive. Bye.




1) I was referring to the whole board, not this forum. I didn't want any woman here to think I was referring to them.

2)


----------



## Paquito

Cobra Verde said:


> 1) I was referring to the whole board, not this forum. I didn't want any woman here to think I was referring to them.
> 
> 2)



Yeah I apologized for misreading your statement in my edited post.


----------



## Cobra Verde

I'm afraid you don't understand the word, "Bye".


----------



## djudex

I Said Good Day!!


----------



## Cobra Verde

djudex said:


> I Said Good Day!!



_So shines a good post in a weary thread..._


----------



## shandyman

CarlaSixx said:


> Latex gloves are also useful for milking the prostate.
> 
> Yup.
> 
> I said it.



Fancy coming round with a box of gloves


----------



## BearHug2013

If you can cry about a Fictional movie, I can yell at the nonfictional athletes, ok.


----------



## shandyman

Amaranthine said:


> Alternatively, feel free to look at my tits because I'm likely staring at yours. It's only fair.


Cracking deal


----------



## shandyman

Toilet seats !!!

Why should they have to be left down, why?? There is no reason why the default setting for the toilet seat should not be up!


----------



## tankyguy

shandyman said:


> Toilet seats !!!
> 
> Why should they have to be left down, why?? There is no reason why the default setting for the toilet seat should not be up!



I think it's more sanitary to leave the lid down. Then seat position becomes a non-issue.


----------



## biglynch

tankyguy said:


> I think it's more sanitary to leave the lid down. Then seat position becomes a non-issue.



How is it more sanitary?


----------



## Tad

biglynch said:


> How is it more sanitary?



Because when you flush the toilet, apparently there will be very small droplets splashed into the air. If the lid is up, these can float up to a few feet away. I'm sure this depends somewhat on the toilet involved, but I'd rather not take my chances....my house has small bathrooms, our toothbrushes are within the 'drift radius'  So lid down please! 

Also, do you really want to be seeing the inside of the toilet all the time?


----------



## biglynch

Tad said:


> Because when you flush the toilet, apparently there will be very small droplets splashed into the air. If the lid is up, these can float up to a few feet away. I'm sure this depends somewhat on the toilet involved, but I'd rather not take my chances....my house has small bathrooms, our toothbrushes are within the 'drift radius'  So lid down please!
> 
> Also, do you really want to be seeing the inside of the toilet all the time?


 
Yeah I think that was covered by Mythbusters, and im sure it made zero difference. But i might be wrong.


----------



## Mckee

biglynch said:


> Yeah I think that was covered by Mythbusters, and im sure it made zero difference. But i might be wrong.



http://dsc.discovery.com/tv-shows/mythbusters/mythbusters-database/fecal-matter-on-toothbrush.htm


----------



## djudex

I believe the correct term is 'sharticles' aka shit particles.


----------



## bigmac

I'm from the _"you can put the seat down just as easily as I can put it up" _school.

I mean women want to be treated equally -- right?


----------



## loopytheone

I have three toilets in my house and three bedrooms. Everybody gets there own toilet! =D


----------



## SD007

I don't really mind a guy leaving the seat up, but when he's too lazy to put it up and then proceeds to suck at aiming, thus leaving his piss all over the damn place and not bothering to clean it up....






(that's my rage face)


----------



## Tad

SD007 said:


> I don't really mind a guy leaving the seat up, but when he's too lazy to put it up and then proceeds to suck at aiming, thus leaving his piss all over the damn place and not bothering to clean it up....



This ^^^^ (men's public washrooms.....ALWAYS check the seat before you sit down!)


----------



## djudex

Tad said:


> This ^^^^ (men's public washrooms.....ALWAYS check the seat before you sit down!)



Only amateurs poop in the stalls, pros cop a squat in the sink. That way you can get yourself some bidet action at the same time!


----------

