# Louise is outraged



## Russell Williams (Apr 24, 2011)

by the following news story I found.

Stuck on the tarmac for 7 hours due to the massive snowstorm in the Northeast, some passengers on a Delta flight resorted to cannibalism. Members of the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, or NAAFA, became famished after the onboard snacks were all eaten.

Eight members of NAAFA were on their way to NAAFA headquarters in Oakland, California, when flights were canceled at Newark airport. Bertha Lipowitz, a 450 pound Camden resident, suffered a heart attack two hours into the delay. The plane ran out of snacks two hours later. After complaining of severe hunger pangs, the other seven NAAFA members decided to consume Lipowitzs corpse. Horrified onlookers were unable to stop the feeding frenzy.

After seven hours on the tarmac, authorities were able to enter the plane and remove what was left of Lipowitzs corpse. There are no laws in New Jersey against cannibalism when the death is the result of natural causes, so the other NAAFA members were free to travel to Oakland. 

Frances White, NAAFA co-chair, defended the actions of her members. There is nothing in the NAAFA charter that prohibits the consumption of human flesh.


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## crayola box (Apr 24, 2011)

The source is deadseriousnews.com, and on sites where everyone and everything is made fun of I feel like NAAFA is fair game so I'm not outraged by this.

It's when serious news outlets report "evil fatties are destroying the world" with all their obesity epidemic stories that I get annoyed.


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## Emma (Apr 24, 2011)

Its not really a news story though is it?


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## mossystate (Apr 24, 2011)

Oh, I thought it was going to be one of Russell's depositing something he himself created...have people go after him...then he comes back to give more information and explain the ' message '.

damn

Was just another piece of lame Fat People Eat Everthang And Stuff. People could at least be creative.


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## Jes (Apr 24, 2011)

Look, I was on that plane, and it was no laughing matter. I never wanted a bag of pretzels so much in my life...lucky for me cartilage has that same satisfying crunch.

Russell, if Louise is apt not to find this kind of thing funny (and I can't blame her), consider not sharing it. Not everyone has the same sense of humor and sometimes, offensive things can be funny, even to the group being made fun of. But it's not for everyone.

I try, when I can, not to feel slighted or take offense at things that are very, very tangential to my life. 

But I am NEVER flying Delta again!


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## Russell Williams (Apr 24, 2011)

mossystate said:


> Oh, I thought it was going to be one of Russell's depositing something he himself created...have people go after him...then he comes back to give more information and explain the ' message '.
> 
> damn
> 
> ...


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## penguin (Apr 24, 2011)

I thought it was funny.


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## herin (Apr 24, 2011)

I thought it was funny too.


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## mango (Apr 25, 2011)

*This thread should be moved to the relevant section of the Library because it is a fictional weight gain story.


That is all.

*


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## mossystate (Apr 25, 2011)

Russell Williams said:


> It is nice to know that I have such loyal followers. I will try to include you on my email list so you can see my letters to the editor and such stuff.
> 
> Right now I can send you some stuff about the Methodist church wanting to boycott certain companies that do business in Israel.
> 
> What other areas of my intinterests are you espically interested in?



If you send more crap like that to my inbox, I will be reporting you. :bow:


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## Shosh (Apr 25, 2011)

Russell Williams said:


> mossystate said:
> 
> 
> > Oh, I thought it was going to be one of Russell's depositing something he himself created...have people go after him...then he comes back to give more information and explain the ' message '.
> ...


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## TimeTraveller (Apr 25, 2011)

crayola box said:


> The source is deadseriousnews.com, and on sites where everyone and everything is made fun of I feel like NAAFA is fair game so I'm not outraged by this.
> 
> It's when serious news outlets report "evil fatties are destroying the world" with all their obesity epidemic stories that I get annoyed.


Yes it's good to keep it all in perspective. Not to mention the way my sweetie nibbles on my arms it's actually a pleasant experience.


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## Jes (Apr 25, 2011)

TimeTraveller said:


> Yes it's good to keep it all in perspective. Not to mention the way my sweetie nibbles on my arms it's actually a pleasant experience.



I do love ecstatic full-body nibbling, myself. I'm sure you do, too, TT.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 25, 2011)

I don't understand the outrage. I'd love for somebody to eat me. 

PS--People, get your facts straight. It wasn't pretzels. It was roasted almonds. Sheesh.


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## Dromond (Apr 25, 2011)

Shosh said:


> The Methodist Church. Another church that has had it's fair share of sex scandals.
> Israel will continue to thrive and survive, regardless of any proposed boycott.
> Believe that.


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## Shosh (Apr 26, 2011)

Dromond said:


>



I have zero clue about why you inserted that picture, but whatever, that is pretty usual for around here.

If you read what Russell wrote, about the Methodist Church boycotting companies that do business in Israel, you would understand what I wrote.

The Methodist Church like other Xtian denominations have plenty of scandal in their ranks, and they wish to make Israel come off in a bad light, please

Israel as always will prevail.


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## The Orange Mage (Apr 26, 2011)

I think this might need a trip to Hyde Park, as this thread hopped out of the frying pan of insanity and into the oven of nastiness.


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## Angel (Apr 26, 2011)

*OFF TOPIC!* (that's also why I think D. posted the pic)



Shosh said:


> The Methodist Church. Another church that has had it's fair share of sex scandals.
> Israel will continue to thrive and survive, regardless of any proposed boycott.
> Believe that.





Shosh said:


> I have zero clue about why you inserted that picture, but whatever, that is pretty usual for around here.
> 
> If you read what Russell wrote, about the Methodist Church boycotting companies that do business in Israel, you would understand what I wrote.
> 
> ...



So Russel likes to have a little fun here, too.

Then he post about something in his personal (religious or spiritual) life which was NOT an attack on anyone here or against anyone's religion or spiritual beliefs.

Then an off topic and uncalled for dig at the Methodist Church.

Then a pic 'saying' WHAT was that for?

Then another off topic dig at the Methodist Church and *CHRIST*ian denominations.


Rather than castigating all Christian denominations and passing judgement on all of them maybe you should attempt to understand 

1.) the reasonings behind the discussions of boycotting particular companies
2.) that Israel is a country (or state if you prefer) and not a religion
3.) that all churches and all religions and all countries have had scandals (gasp! even among the tribes. Ever read the OT?)
4.) that not all believers, or all Christians, or all denominations hate or despise Israel or those of the Jewish faith
5.) that true believers know and understand the significance of Israel and that of the Jewish people
6.) that most believers know that it wasn't the Jews that killed Jesus; and therefore believers don't hate Jews or the nation of Israel
7.) that believers know that the Jews are God's chosen people
8.) that when possible, believers are to aid in helping God's chosen return to their homeland
9.) that believers know Israel will be protected
10.) that the Scriptures (the Scriptures in the Bible that Christians and believers read) even tell us that God will destroy any nation that rises up against Israel

Why is there so much hatred for those who understand more about the relationship between God and Israel and between God and the Jewish people than many Jews understand themself?


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## TimeTraveller (Apr 26, 2011)

The Orange Mage said:


> I think this might need a trip to Hyde Park, as this thread hopped out of the frying pan of insanity and into the oven of nastiness.


This seems to happen pretty easily here. Maybe fat acceptance is an emotional topic, and what some think is levity strikes a raw nerve in others? I see it to some extent in some of my other forums, but probably more in my 6 months on Dimensions than 6 years anywhere else. (Maybe science forums are too dull to get all worked up and travel forums are full of happy people planning their vacations?) There's also a certain amount of "king or queen of the hill" element everywhere. I'm hardly blameless and I've probably made insensitive jokes too. If so, I apologize.


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## Shosh (Apr 26, 2011)

Angel said:


> *OFF TOPIC!* (that's also why I think D. posted the pic)
> 
> 
> 
> ...



He needs to stay on the " Fun Topic" he started and not bring Israel into it.
But then again bashing Israel is a common theme here.
I know very well who I am, and what I stand for, and I do not need a lecture.
Thanks so much.


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## The Orange Mage (Apr 26, 2011)

TimeTraveller said:


> This seems to happen pretty easily here. Maybe fat acceptance is an emotional topic, and what some think is levity strikes a raw nerve in others? I see it to some extent in some of my other forums, but probably more in my 6 months on Dimensions than 6 years anywhere else. (Maybe science forums are too dull to get all worked up and travel forums are full of happy people planning their vacations?) There's also a certain amount of "king or queen of the hill" element everywhere. I'm hardly blameless and I've probably made insensitive jokes too. If so, I apologize.



Fat Acceptance is a (IMO) liberal topic. So is not approving of every little thing Israel does. That's all, really.


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## Angel (Apr 26, 2011)

Shosh said:


> He needs to stay on the " Fun Topic" he started and not bring Israel into it.
> But then again bashing Israel is a common theme here.
> I know very well who I am, and what I stand for, and I do not need a lecture.
> Thanks so much.



It wasn't a lecture. I was just trying to explain that not every believer or Christian is anti-Israel or anti-Jew. 

Heaven is going to be full of Jews and Christians and some Jewish Christians. 


... and hopefully no cannibals!


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## Shosh (Apr 26, 2011)

Angel said:


> It wasn't a lecture. I was just trying to explain that not every believer or Christian is anti-Israel or anti-Jew.
> 
> Heaven is going to be full of Jews and Christians and some Jewish Christians.
> 
> ... and hopefully no cannibals!



Ok. Point taken, and thank you.


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## Jes (Apr 26, 2011)

this thread just gave me the hiccups.


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## SuperMishe (Apr 26, 2011)

Jes said:


> this thread just gave me the hiccups.




Are you sure that wasn't Lipowitz's liver?


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## Sasquatch! (Apr 26, 2011)

Sure, articles like this are a bit childish but why bother getting worked up about it? Seriously.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 26, 2011)

Jes said:


> this thread just gave me the hiccups.





SuperMishe said:


> Are you sure that wasn't Lipowitz's liver?



It gave me gas but I'm pretty sure it was that ginger ale she polished off after all the food was gone.


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## snuggletiger (Apr 26, 2011)

Angel said:


> It wasn't a lecture. I was just trying to explain that not every believer or Christian is anti-Israel or anti-Jew.
> 
> Heaven is going to be full of Jews and Christians and some Jewish Christians.
> 
> ...



I thought you were right. I don't know how Israel got into the topic other then Russell mentioning he had some other stuff like the Methodist Church boycotting Israel. Then whammy the thread takes a weird turn. The post went from people having fun and a few laughs to suddenly a discourse on religion. Just crazy.


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## mossystate (Apr 26, 2011)

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.


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## Dromond (Apr 26, 2011)

When all you have is a metaphorical hammer, every topic looks like a metaphorical nail.


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## Jes (Apr 26, 2011)

The truth is that many people take every opportunity to feel slighted, and unfortunately, the responsibility then falls on you to never give them that opportunity. It's dysfunctional, but something to keep in mind.


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## snuggletiger (Apr 26, 2011)

Jes but why should those people be coddled to? why should the rest of us walk on eggshells so certain people don't "feel persecuted". Personally I think most of that is a put on act but it is what it is. Resume our normally scheduled funnies.


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## Jes (Apr 26, 2011)

snuggletiger said:


> Jes but why should those people be coddled.



Well that's certainly a fair question... I was thinking more about my work situation, in which a bunch of antisocial, troubled people try to ignore one another while still reacting to insults and slights that never actually happened! So in that sense, in order to get along, you have to be 2 steps ahead at all times.

If you strip away the need to kowtow in order to get along, then there's no reason to coddle anyone.


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## CAMellie (Apr 26, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> I don't understand the outrage. I'd love for somebody to eat me.
> 
> PS--People, get your facts straight. It wasn't pretzels. It was roasted almonds. Sheesh.



Bwahahahahahahahahaha! I snorted chocolate milk!


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## snuggletiger (Apr 26, 2011)

oooh Roasted Almonds, now I want Blue Diamond smoky almonds.


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## Jes (Apr 26, 2011)

edited. double post.


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## moore2me (Apr 26, 2011)

Angel said:


> It wasn't a lecture. I was just trying to explain that not every believer or Christian is anti-Israel or anti-Jew.
> 
> Heaven is going to be full of Jews and Christians and some Jewish Christians.
> 
> ...



Heaven probably won't be fully of cannibals, BUT if some of them accepted Christ as their Savior - you may meet a few ex-cannibals. Missionaries targeted this population.


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## penguin (Apr 26, 2011)

moore2me said:


> Heaven probably won't be fully of cannibals, BUT if some of them accepted Christ as their Savior - you may meet a few ex-cannibals. Missionaries targeted this population.



Oh, I don't know, I'd have thought heaven would be full of them. All those years spent eating the Body of Christ during mass and all.


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## herin (Apr 26, 2011)

penguin said:


> Oh, I don't know, I'd have thought heaven would be full of them. All those years spent eating the Body of Christ during mass and all.



Oh my goodness! Seriously, you crack me up!!


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## Dromond (Apr 26, 2011)

penguin said:


> Oh, I don't know, I'd have thought heaven would be full of them. All those years spent eating the Body of Christ during mass and all.



It was only Catholics who believed in transubstantiation, and they don't anymore. Officially at least.


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## The Orange Mage (Apr 26, 2011)

Was that a recent change of stance? Last time I went (2002-ish) things were still that way.


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## penguin (Apr 26, 2011)

Dromond said:


> It was only Catholics who believed in transubstantiation, and they don't anymore. Officially at least.



I'm pretty sure my mother eats Jesus on a fairly regular basis.


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## Dromond (Apr 26, 2011)

The Orange Mage said:


> Was that a recent change of stance? Last time I went (2002-ish) things were still that way.



That's why I said "officially." At the second Vatican Council of 1967, transubstantiation was removed as Catholic doctrine. However, many Catholic churches to this day continue to adhere to the belief in defiance of the Vatican. Mind you, the Vatican doesn't really care if they do.



penguin said:


> I'm pretty sure my mother eats Jesus on a fairly regular basis.



That's a heavenly experience, I'm told.


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## penguin (Apr 27, 2011)

Dromond said:


> That's a heavenly experience, I'm told.



Sex with Jesus has got to be the best sex ever...though he might find it a bit weird if you call out his dad's name in bed.


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## moore2me (Apr 27, 2011)

I am always looking for a kool story line and this thread is the find of the month  and amazingly it get better every day!!! The story (or the movie) could go either horror, or comedy, historical adventure or all three. I think the screenplay could combine several genres. . . . a combination of Zombieland + Airport + Exodus + Alive + Ship of Fools.
*
Executive summary*  Snowstorm. Fully loaded passenger plane trapped. Bertha Lipowitz traveling with other fat passengers appears to die but instead has been paralyzed by an alien zombie virus. At the same time the aliens fire a beam at her seatmates that make them insanely hungry for Jewish human brains. Berthas paralyzed head is eaten alive by folks in nearby rows. The zombie herd is now bellowing in rage  and consume the heads of other gentile passengers. 

Now only zombies are left on the plane  except the pilot whose door is locked. The heroic pilot screams over the radio If you hear my voice  you know whats going to happen and you know what I want you to do for me. He then asks his co-pilot to set a course for . . . . a small village in the Amazon jungle where a troop of bogus cannibals are living in hopes of being discovered by Hollywood or the Vatican. Who will find the natives first?

* Here's how I see the casting and production . . . (Feel free to add your suggestions, volunteer for roles, or remove your name if offended.) *

1. Working title . . . Was Bertha Lipowitz Kosher?
2. Director . . . . . . . Quentin Tarantino
3. Pilot . . . . . . . . . . Forrest Whitaker or Russell Williams
4. Co-Pilot . . . . . . . Louise Williams or
5. Bertha Lipowitz. (Self) or 
6. Leader of Zombies . . . ImFree 
7. Cast of Zombies . . . M2M, CastingPearls, Tina, volunteers???
8. Chief of Faux Cannibals. . . TraciJo67
9. List of Faux Cannibals (may require partial nudity). . . Susannah, Mango, penguin, joswitch, volunteers???
10. Hollywood Agent  Jiminy Glick
11. Vatican Agent - Dromond


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## LalaCity (Apr 27, 2011)

moore2me said:


> * Here's how I see the casting and production . . . (Feel free to add your suggestions, volunteer for roles, or remove your name if offended.) *
> 
> 1. Working title . . . Was Bertha Lipowitz Kosher?
> 2. Director . . . . . . . Quentin Tarantino
> ...



I volunteer for the part of the beautiful-but-chaste nun who's torn between her devotion to Jesus and her smoldering desire for the buff co-pilot.


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## LalaCity (Apr 27, 2011)

Oh yeah, and I think her name was actually Lourdes Maria Lipowitz (the eponymous protagonist of the film). At least that's what I remember from the book.


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## Dromond (Apr 27, 2011)

Does the role of Vatican agent come with a mitre? Because I've always wanted a mitre.


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## penguin (Apr 27, 2011)

moore2me said:


> Woohoo! I can do this. When we do start filming??


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## CastingPearls (Apr 27, 2011)

Dromond said:


> Does the role of Vatican agent come with a mitre? Because I've always wanted a mitre.


Only if you wear bunny ears underneath it.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 27, 2011)

moore2me said:


> I am always looking for a kool story line and this thread is the find of the month  and amazingly it get better every day!!! The story (or the movie) could go either horror, or comedy, historical adventure or all three. I think the screenplay could combine several genres. . . . a combination of Zombieland + Airport + Exodus + Alive + Ship of Fools.
> *
> Executive summary*  Snowstorm. Fully loaded passenger plane trapped. Bertha Lipowitz traveling with other fat passengers appears to die but instead has been paralyzed by an alien zombie virus. At the same time the aliens fire a beam at her seatmates that make them insanely hungry for Jewish human brains. Berthas paralyzed head is eaten alive by folks in nearby rows. The zombie herd is now bellowing in rage  and consume the heads of other gentile passengers.
> 
> ...


Zombie QUEEN, M2M, ZOMBIE QUEEN!!!!!


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## moore2me (May 1, 2011)

*(M2M's responses in blue. Sorry it took so long - but several required thoughtful and lengthy research.)*



LalaCity said:


> I volunteer for the part of the beautiful-but-chaste nun who's torn between her devotion to Jesus and her smoldering desire for the buff co-pilot.


*
LaLa - Great idea about adding a nun's part. I would add that you study the movie "Black Narcissus" to see a great performance of a nun with smoldering love for a man. She is driven insane and does some very naughty things. (Not sexy naughty - homicidal naughty.) Also, are you content with the casting of the co-pilot or would you suggest another buff person?*



penguin said:


> Woohoo! I can do this. When we do start filming??



*We start filming as soon as the banana boat docks from its round trip from Sierra Del Feugo and Billy's crew can extract all the tarantulas again. Then all the casting members (including yourself) must have had the appropriate shots for that part of the tropics where we be filming. (Partial list of innoculations include malaria, dengue fever, cholera, hepatitis A, B, and C, rabies, foot rot, tularemia, parrot fever, leprosy, and liver flukes.*



Dromond said:


> Does the role of Vatican agent come with a mitre? Because I've always wanted a mitre.





CastingPearls said:


> Only if you wear bunny ears underneath it.



*Please Elaine, let's act like the mature adults we are and try not to offend the Catholic church!*

*Now Dromond - on the mitre you requested. Would that be a mitre saw, a mitre box, or a mitre hat? To hold down confusion, I pasted pixs below for clarity. And on the hat, I understand it has changed looks over the years just as womans' hat in fashion have.*



CastingPearls said:


> Zombie QUEEN, M2M, ZOMBIE QUEEN!!!!!



*Thank you for the nomination for "Zombie Queen" - Elaine. However, I would prefer to be a henceman or second in command. I always get into real trouble when I'm in charge and it never turns out well. My hero is Renfro in Dracula. He served the master, all he wanted for pay was "little lives" and to eat bugs off the prison walls when they finally caught him. I think we all know what happened to his boss - Dracula. * 

View attachment mitre saw4.jpg


View attachment mitre box3.jpg


View attachment blues bro4 (670x800) (536x640) (235x280).jpg


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## imfree (May 1, 2011)

moore2me said:


> I am always looking for a kool story line and this thread is the find of the month  and amazingly it get better every day!!! The story (or the movie) could go either horror, or comedy, historical adventure or all three. I think the screenplay could combine several genres. . . . a combination of Zombieland + Airport + Exodus + Alive + Ship of Fools.
> *
> Executive summary*  Snowstorm. Fully loaded passenger plane trapped. Bertha Lipowitz traveling with other fat passengers appears to die but instead has been paralyzed by an alien zombie virus. At the same time the aliens fire a beam at her seatmates that make them insanely hungry for Jewish human brains. Berthas paralyzed head is eaten alive by folks in nearby rows. The zombie herd is now bellowing in rage  and consume the heads of other gentile passengers.
> 
> ...





moore2me said:


> *(M2M's responses in blue. Sorry it took so long - but several required thoughtful and lengthy research.)*
> 
> 
> *
> ...



As leader of the zombies (whom I thought was Rod Argent, but now it's me!), I will draw a deep full breath and do a 130db blast of "Day-O" with my unamplified voice and lead my zombie subjects in a rousing, you guessed it, "Banana Boat", when that banana boat docks. Belafonte would have been proud! There, I've done my damage and now I can go back to bed and try to sleep!


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## moore2me (May 1, 2011)

Edgar,

I am impressed! I did not know it was possible for a human to produce 130 dB with their vocal cords without amplification. Or, is this a trait peculiar to zombies? This sound thingy may fit into the script, Perhaps, your character tenderizes brains, etc, using sound (sort of do it yourself microwaves). I am pretty sure 130 dB at 5 ft or less would break eardrums. Those of you not familar with this volume & pressure, try to think standing directly next a racing engine of a 747.


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## imfree (May 1, 2011)

moore2me said:


> Edgar,
> 
> I am impressed! I did not know it was possible for a human to produce 130 dB with their vocal cords without amplification. Or, is this a trait peculiar to zombies? This sound thingy may fit into the script, Perhaps, your character tenderizes brains, etc, using sound (sort of do it yourself microwaves). I am pretty sure 130 dB at 5 ft or less would break eardrums. Those of you not familar with this volume & pressure, try to think standing directly next a racing engine of a 747.



You declared me a Zombie, M2M, but remember, I was a ChiaHead in life and neither biologists, nor acoustic scientists have completely figured out what makes us tick, or in my case, beller loudernhail. Think how quiet a 747 engine would sound compared to an Aerosmith Steve Tyler on steroids! "Scream on, scream on, scream until your face turns bluuuu-ue!". Distance is everything, though, 'cuz a full-powered rock singer really does up to 130db, as the mic gets it, about an inch from the lips.


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## daddyoh70 (May 1, 2011)

penguin said:


> Oh, I don't know, I'd have thought heaven would be full of them. All those years spent eating the Body of Christ during mass and all.



I've eaten his body and drank (drunk, drunken, drinked?) his blood too. Does that make me a cannabalistic vampire?  And where does this get me on the list of movie credits? And whoever is writing this movie better pen a steamy make out scene with me and the beautiful but chaste nun...:smitten:


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## Dromond (May 1, 2011)

moore2me said:


> *Now Dromond - on the mitre you requested. Would that be a mitre saw, a mitre box, or a mitre hat? To hold down confusion, I pasted pixs below for clarity. And on the hat, I understand it has changed looks over the years just as womans' hat in fashion have.*



I'll take all three. The hat for me, the tools for Jackie.


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## CastingPearls (May 2, 2011)

M2M you misunderstood. I was volunteering for ZOMBIE QUEEN. <must be in caps at all times for full regal cannibalistic effect>

If you have a problem with ZOMBIE QUEEN, ZOMBIE EMPRESS will suffice, I suppose.


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## moore2me (May 5, 2011)

Dromond said:


> I'll take all three. The hat for me, the tools for Jackie.



*Dromond - Consider it written into your contract. Excellent choices.*



CastingPearls said:


> M2M you misunderstood. I was volunteering for ZOMBIE QUEEN. <must be in caps at all times for full regal cannibalistic effect>
> 
> If you have a problem with ZOMBIE QUEEN, ZOMBIE EMPRESS will suffice, I suppose.



*Yes, it was a misunderstanding on my part. I think you will be a most excellent ZOMBIE QUEEN. I also think the script calls for you to be elevated to the status of ZOMBIE EMPRESS as the zombie hive goes international. As to having your title in all CAPS - you are already starting to become a queen - congrats! Next command?

Also, the Casting Director wants to know who you fancy for him to recruit as your personal slaves to carry your palaquin?*



daddyoh70 said:


> I've eaten his body and drank (drunk, drunken, drinked?) his blood too. Does that make me a cannabalistic vampire?  And where does this get me on the list of movie credits? And whoever is writing this movie better pen a steamy make out scene with me and the beautiful but chaste nun...:smitten:



*daddyoh - This is a difficult question to answer about you being a cannibalistic vampire. Perhaps I am not equal to the task. There are two problems. One school of thought is that a human's blood is part of a their body. Therefore, a human that drinks another person's blood would be a cannibal. The Druids and the Aztecs did this in ancient times. 

A vampire cannibal would have to be consuming the body or fluids or other vampires. This act does not happen very often in film or fiction and is pretty much uncharted territory. The Blade Trilogy came pretty close to this action and it definitely did not end well for any of the participants. But before I get to chasing this rabbit too far into the briar patch, how did a vampire work it's way into this script????? Are you trying to pad your role? 'Mo money????

(And I hear the beautiful and chaste nun will jump any man who gets within 5 feet of her. As to a steamy makeout scene, we have staff already hired to hose her down with ice water once she latches on to some poor unsuspecting guy.)*


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## penguin (May 5, 2011)

Now we need to discuss wardrobe and how much screen time I'll get.


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## moore2me (May 5, 2011)

penguin said:


> Now we need to discuss wardrobe and how much screen time I'll get.



*With your approval, there will be naked intramural mud wrestling to determine screen time standings. Winner #1 gets 15 minutes. Winner #2 gets 10 minutes. Lesser standings work at night wearing glo sticks for as long as they can stand the tsetse flies and roving jungle carnivores. (All will be issued automatic weapons, bullets, and a Bear Gryllis survival knife for personal defense.)

You may design your own wardrobe as long as you do not use endangered species. Cats, dogs, common bush meat, skunks, nutria, possums, pythons, anacondas, rays, catfish, sea lampreys, nurse sharks, and wild boars will be allowable skins for your costume. If you raise your own fur animals such as mink, cinchillas, rabbits, or raccoons this will be permitted with a document certifying you raised them as domestic fur bearing, farm animals. You will get a stipend for your work and material toward your wardrobe.* *You will also be required to watch the movie "Fur" starring Meatloaf from the Masters of Horror Collection.*


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## penguin (May 5, 2011)

If I'm going to be involved in any sort of wrestling, Amazing Amy has to be part of it too!


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## moore2me (May 5, 2011)

penguin said:


> If I'm going to be involved in any sort of wrestling, Amazing Amy has to be part of it too!



*penguin, I too am a Amy Fan. I like your taste in rasslers. Do you want to do a tag team mud rasslin with Amy on your side or do you want a match with Amy?*


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## moore2me (May 5, 2011)

Duplicate post - not enough sleep again and trying to typpe.


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## penguin (May 5, 2011)

moore2me said:


> *penguin, I too am a Amy Fan. I like your taste in rasslers. Do you want to do a tag team mud rasslin with Amy on your side or do you want a match with Amy?*



As long as we get to wrestle, it's all good


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## Super Fan (May 6, 2011)

Umm Cannibalism, ok all the real cannibals that i read about were thin like Jeffrey Dahmer, Ed Gein and Sawney Bean, so you could tell that they just made all that up.


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## CastingPearls (May 6, 2011)

Super Fan said:


> Umm Cannibalism, ok all the real cannibals that i read about were thin like Jeffrey Dahmer, Ed Gein and Sawney Bean, so you could tell that they just made all that up.


The fat cannibals were/are the ones that were never caught. DUH.


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## penguin (May 6, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> The fat cannibals were/are the ones that were never caught. DUH.



Or just the ones they were saving for later.


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## daddyoh70 (May 8, 2011)

moore2me said:


> *
> 
> daddyoh - This is a difficult question to answer about you being a cannibalistic vampire. Perhaps I am not equal to the task. There are two problems. One school of thought is that a human's blood is part of a their body. Therefore, a human that drinks another person's blood would be a cannibal. The Druids and the Aztecs did this in ancient times.
> 
> ...


*

I see I was a little vague with my species question. Perhaps I should have asked if it made me a vampire and a cannibal. Hmmm, food and drink from the same container! Either way, that's for the writers to figure out. As long as I get my scene with the nun... and front row seats to the rassling match!!! *


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## moore2me (May 10, 2011)

daddyoh70 said:


> I see I was a little vague with my species question. Perhaps I should have asked if it made me a vampire and a cannibal. Hmmm, food and drink from the same container! Either way, that's for the writers to figure out. As long as I get my scene with the nun... and front row seats to the rassling match!!!



daddyoh70,

With those front row seats, you will have have to pay extra if you want a sheet of plastic to keep the mud off of your clothes or a raincoat to wear. Neither item is returnable 'cause in the last hot girl mud rasslin' match the rented tarps and raincoats were ruined by some of the customers. (Our bouncers could not keep up with all the pervs and when the lights were turned down in the audience, it was . . . well, you can only imagine.) 

Camera footage will be included in our movie of course. However, this will require the picture to receive an "X" rating in Salt Lake City, Peoria, Montreal, and certain small towns in Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Georgia that have the ability to show motion pictures. 

However, if this sexy thing gets too politically hot, your producer (M2M) will fold like a cheap card table and will leave the state or country that is trying prosecute. I have no desire or ambition to end up as a poster girl for freedom of the press or free speech involving porn. I have no problems whatsoever with ratting out any of my co-producers if I think the some hate group has me in their cross hairs. I have been known to make a disguisting display of crying like a girl, screaming like a stuck pig, and fainting like my cousin Eugene. 

(Or was that crying like a boy, screaming like my cousin Eugene, and fainting like a hog nose snake? I bet some of you readers didn't even know that hog nose snakes would faint?)


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## moore2me (May 13, 2011)

Attention DIMMERS - Due to some unreasonable demands placed on the cast of this movie too many brave souls have dropped out. We are in need of fresh talent. I have fired that crazy, unstable producer M2M and I am going to run things myself - the right way. Let me introduce myself, I am Ms Hopewell, M2M's twin sister.

I apologize for any wierdness my sister threatened the cast with. Sis is now locked in the basement and cannot come out until she returns to being a good girl. Now back to our movie . . . 

We need more zombies and faux cannibals. The open casting call will be held a week from today. Persons who have already accepeted roles in the movie are still on contract and will not need to retest - your roles are secure. Thanks for your consideration.

I am posting using M2M's ID. I have made her let me access her computer.


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## imfree (May 13, 2011)

Aaah, I sure hope you're the evil twin. DimmerLand's been deddernhail for far too long and we need to rock this place again!


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