# E Harmony



## collared Princess (Feb 26, 2012)

I was just wondering if any has ever had an ad or responded to an ad on any of these dating sites? 
I don't want to spend money if they are only for "society's perfect"..
Anyone have any experience with them?


----------



## EMH1701 (Feb 26, 2012)

Tried eHarmony once, my date did not even show up. Waste of money. Also, I found out later that they discriminate against gays & lesbians. So if you care about not discriminating against others, you should probably use another site.


----------



## Still a Skye fan (Feb 27, 2012)

I met a nice gal on Yahoo.com and dated for awhile. Unfortunately, things just didn't work out...not much in common and we ended things peacefully.

I have pages on other date sites, eharmony included but haven't had any further success.

I'm currently seeing a kind, sweet girl who approached ME first and found me interesting, which I think is kinda cool. Again, we don't have a great deal in common but we're taking things slow to see if things work out. I enjoy being with her, so we'll see what happens next.

Dennis


----------



## Dromond (Feb 27, 2012)

I met my wife through an Internet dating site. My success story isn't a guarantee of happiness for anyone else, though. Your mileage may vary.


----------



## Mishty (Feb 27, 2012)

eHarmony rejected me twice,I'm part of this small amount of undateable freaks.

They are pretty lame, I'd try Match first or maybe some of the size friendly type sites.


----------



## shinyapple (Feb 27, 2012)

I tried to join eHarmony a few years ago and like Mishty, was rejected as well. I don't know if it's size related or my personality wasn't their "type", but it's not a place I would go to again. As Dro said, YMMV in most any online dating environment.


----------



## CarlaSixx (Feb 27, 2012)

I also tried E harmony with very bad results. Though I did meet one guy from there and we remain friends. But that's not because of attraction.

I'd say your best bet is really a free site, but Match has worked for some of my friends. Lavalife as well, though it is for an older group (40-60s) and most will just want sex. But there's some diamonds in the rough.


----------



## Saoirse (Feb 27, 2012)

Eharmony is a piece of shit. They now offer a gay/lesbian site, which was developed by Eharmony people, but they only did it after people complained about it a lot.

PoF is a lot of creepers, although I did meet once nice guy on there. The rest just wanted to be spanked by someone other than their wife.

I've been using OkCupid. My bestie found his new bf on OKC, and I feel you can get a lot more out of your profile than other dating sites. I have yet to meet anyone from it, but I have been talking to some nice guys.


----------



## Deven (Feb 27, 2012)

eHarmony is a Christian dating site, even though they never state it. They reject people on a lot of different things, including "not happy enough."  

Chemistry.com brought it's mission to light when they launched an ad attacking eHarmony.

I met a guy on eHarmony, and there was absolutely no chemistry. At all.


----------



## bigmac (Feb 27, 2012)

DevenDoom said:


> eHarmony is a Christian dating site, even though they never state it. They reject people on a lot of different things, including "not happy enough."
> 
> Chemistry.com brought it's mission to light when they launched an ad attacking eHarmony.
> 
> I met a guy on eHarmony, and there was absolutely no chemistry. At all.



Both my wife and I were rejected by e-Harmony before we met. If I'd know it was a Christian site I wouldn't have wasted time filling out their stupid questionnaire. They reject people who don't fit their idea of what a good date should be (i.e. conservative and religious).


----------



## willowmoon (Feb 27, 2012)

DevenDoom said:


> eHarmony is a Christian dating site, even though they never state it. They reject people on a lot of different things, including "not happy enough."
> 
> Chemistry.com brought it's mission to light when they launched an ad attacking eHarmony.
> 
> I met a guy on eHarmony, and there was absolutely no chemistry. At all.



But surely those "29 levels of compatibility" should guarantee success, right? :JOKE:


----------



## Diana_Prince245 (Feb 27, 2012)

I'm very proud of having been rejected by e-harmony 

Both of my sisters met their husbands on match.com, and I've met some decent guys through there.


----------



## Emma (Feb 27, 2012)

Mishty said:


> eHarmony rejected me twice,I'm part of this small amount of undateable freaks.
> 
> They are pretty lame, I'd try Match first or maybe some of the size friendly type sites.



Me too. I joined up to see my matches out of curiosity, turns out I'm an undateable freak too


----------



## supersonicsuper (Feb 27, 2012)

I actually met my husband on Eharmony... We have been married for almost six years. Some of the other people I met through the site were a little strange... One guy went out with me because he told me he had a fantasy about being with a BBW. That date didn't last long.


----------



## spaz-fa (Feb 27, 2012)

In my opinion dating online is just like any other situation without the physical contact. Talking in chat rooms and on blogs isn't that different from going out to clubs or bars is it. The more I think about it the more similar some charge. Some bars and clubs charge a cover charge. Not everyone in either of these places is who they say they are single/married etc. Be social and not afraid to meet new people regardless of the situation or location is my best advice.


----------



## EMH1701 (Feb 27, 2012)

DevenDoom said:


> eHarmony is a Christian dating site, even though they never state it. They reject people on a lot of different things, including "not happy enough."



Wow. So people suffering from depression are never allowed to find anyone? That strikes me as rather prejudiced.


----------



## penguin (Feb 27, 2012)

I couldn't be bothered filling out all the questions eharmony had. And their ads shit me to tears, so it's another reason I want to stay away from them. They only show people who had good dates, not people who had good dates and then got into a good relationship. It doesn't say much for the product when the people promoting it are telling you they're not getting what they signed up for.


----------



## collared Princess (Feb 27, 2012)

You guys have some great advice..I think I might try match.com maybe


----------



## one2one (Feb 27, 2012)

I tried eHarmony because a friend of mine met her husband through them, and they really are perfect together. However, I'm not a big fan of the fact that you can't search the site, and A LOT of the matches they sent me are way outside the geographic range I was hoping for (and selected). I was also surprised to see many profiles without photos or much information, just a few of the multiple choice type questions answered. Like every other site. The Christian connection explains why most of the profiles I received were over the top on stating their spiritual perspectives.

I've also tried Large Friends, but there are so many scammers who can get on the site, although briefly because they get booted pretty fast once they're reported to the admin., that it was exhausting trying to figure out who might actually be safe to talk to. There were also lots of great profiles for men I'd definitely be interested in, but they were too far away, and I was determined to find someone local.

It just got to the point that I wasn't even responding to winks, anymore. In fact, I owe a few men here a big apology for that. :doh: 

My inbox is open if you'd like it personalized.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 27, 2012)

Plenty of Fish aka POF is free to try. Everything on it is free. Hence, you can meet some "creepers" but then nothing ventured nothing gained. You won't be any worse off money wise anyway. 
And I met my bf there- we now shack up. I did have some dates from match.com. For the money I paid, it was okay. Just glad I tried POF too.

I thought e-harmony was bullshit- especially on those "free weekends" where you can't talk to or see anyone's photo (I never paid any money so beyond free weekends I can't tell you about it). I can make my own decisions/hook-ups without all their "guidance" though.


----------



## AnnMarie (Feb 27, 2012)

I haven't had a ton of success in general with it, but OKC is free as well, and the people that I've talked to, in a very broad general sense, have been a little more interesting than some other sites I've been on. 


The guy I'm seeing right now contacted me through OKC. It's gone well.


----------



## CarlaSixx (Feb 27, 2012)

OkCupid has had the best success for me, personally. I've only met one creepy person on there and most others were cool. I'd say if you want something that's going to show you some level of compatibility while still being open-minded and with no charge, that's the best. Match.com costs money after the first week I believe, but OKC is always free along with POF, and well... OKC has wayyyy better people than POF or it's counterpart (eVow).


----------



## sweetfrancaise (Feb 28, 2012)

So... out of curiousity, seeing as we're talking online dating, what do you ladies include on your profiles? 'Cause honestly I get the worst replies and I'm wondering if it's my profile (the pictures?), my area, what. And boy, the dates I have gone on are much more fun to tell than they were to endure.


----------



## JerseyGirl07093 (Feb 28, 2012)

sweetfrancaise said:


> So... out of curiousity, seeing as we're talking online dating, what do you ladies include on your profiles? 'Cause honestly I get the worst replies and I'm wondering if it's my profile (the pictures?), my area, what. And boy, the dates I have gone on are much more fun to tell than they were to endure.



I don't think it's what you're writing in your profile. Creepy guys are going to be creepy no matter what you write and I don't think they even bother to read most of what you write anyway.

I've tried E Harmony a long time ago. That survey takes FOREVER to fill out and I don't even know if it makes a difference. From things I've heard people say they are matched with people that don't even seem to fit what they are looking for. Another thing I noticed back then was that anyone who fills out a survey and profile can get a match but if you're a paying member (and I was for a month or so) those people will show up on your matching list but they don't have privileges to contact you or anything. Most of the matches I got weren't much of a match. Then you have to go through 'stages' of contact to 'get to know each other better' and that takes a while. The ONE person I actually got past a few stages with stopped contacting me after I didn't answer one of his questions fast enough. He actually told me that. 
I've never had much luck online. I guess you can meet nice people anywhere, you just have to weed them out from the creeps.


----------



## LifeTraveller (Feb 28, 2012)

JerseyGirl07093 said:


> I don't think it's what you're writing in your profile. Creepy guys are going to be creepy no matter what you write and I don't think they even bother to read most of what you write anyway.



I think that sums it up....

I've not had any experience with E Harmony, but my "adopted" daughter did and what she experienced wasn't really bad, but it wasn't all that good either, so she lasted about a month. She also tried "Christian Singles", but there are trolls no matter where you go. She a very bright, ambitious young educator, who knows what she wants, and won't "settle". I don't blame her for that, and why should you. . 

Although I am very thankful my wife "lowered" her standards and gave me an opportunity to prove my worth. . It was the kind of relationship I wish everyone could have. . Neither of us were perfect, but ended up perfect for one another... Funny how it works sometimes. . I miss her so...


----------



## Jes (Feb 28, 2012)

sweetfrancaise said:


> So... out of curiousity, seeing as we're talking online dating, what do you ladies include on your profiles? 'Cause honestly I get the worst replies and I'm wondering if it's my profile (the pictures?), my area, what. And boy, the dates I have gone on are much more fun to tell than they were to endure.



I've always heard less can be more. Men rarely read the entire ad anyway, so you're not capturing who/what you want be being wordier. Every woman here will tell you that if her ad says: Man must live in city of Portland and want a long-term relationship: she gets tons of messages saying: Hey, I live in Seattle and I'm looking for casual sex. Let's meet!: So, obviously, they're not reading. I wouldn't go out of your way to put down a bunch of stuff that you will then feel bummed the guy ignores. If someone approaches you and doesn't have what you want, ignore it. If someone seems a possibility, you can always talk more privately (email). Good luck!


----------



## Saoirse (Feb 28, 2012)

I think there's a fine balance when it comes to dating profiles. I find that some folks put waaaaaaaay too much. Its like, Yea great, you're deep and you know what you want, but I dont wanna read a fucking novel. And then there's the people that put hardly anything or dont have a single picture. Thats just creepy.

I find a paragraph or so for each section is sufficient. You want others to know what you're about, but you don't want to bore the shit out them with blocks and blocks of words.

I honestly have a very hard time filling out profiles. I don't like talking about ME and MY ambitions/goals/dreams. I just feel weird talking about myself.


----------



## AnnMarie (Feb 28, 2012)

Saoirse said:


> I think there's a fine balance when it comes to dating profiles. I find that some folks put waaaaaaaay too much. Its like, Yea great, you're deep and you know what you want, but I dont wanna read a fucking novel. And then there's the people that put hardly anything or dont have a single picture. Thats just creepy.
> 
> I find a paragraph or so for each section is sufficient. You want others to know what you're about, but you don't want to bore the shit out them with blocks and blocks of words.
> 
> I honestly have a very hard time filling out profiles. I don't like talking about ME and MY ambitions/goals/dreams. I just feel weird talking about myself.



I'll agree with all of this - I think a paragraph per section works out pretty well in general and gives just enough to know if you might want to talk more. And pictures are so important.


----------



## EMH1701 (Mar 2, 2012)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Plenty of Fish aka POF is free to try. Everything on it is free. Hence, you can meet some "creepers" but then nothing ventured nothing gained. You won't be any worse off money wise anyway.
> And I met my bf there- we now shack up. I did have some dates from match.com. For the money I paid, it was okay. Just glad I tried POF too.



I met a really creepy guy through PoF last year. He was good looking, but ultimately a total creep. He admitted to having a cell phone jammer, which is illegal in my state. I thought, WTF, how much of a control freak is he? It's like, so what, he wants to block the woman from calling for help if he rapes her? Big red flag. Never, ever date a guy who admits to having one of those. If he admits to having a cell phone jammer on the date and tells you he brought it along, be assertive and end it right there. Your safety is not more important than his need to be a control freak.


----------



## bigmac (Mar 3, 2012)

sweetfrancaise said:


> So... out of curiousity, seeing as we're talking online dating, what do you ladies include on your profiles? 'Cause honestly I get the worst replies and I'm wondering if it's my profile (the pictures?), my area, what. And boy, the dates I have gone on are much more fun to tell than they were to endure.



For both women and men I'd advise drafting adds that scare away the type of people you don't want as well as attract the type you do want.

For example my old adds made it very clear that I was a liberal atheist who was only interested in well educated women. It worked not a single Republican ever replied and eventually I met my wife.


----------



## Russell Williams (Mar 3, 2012)

spaz-fa said:


> In my opinion dating online is just like any other situation without the physical contact. Talking in chat rooms and on blogs isn't that different from going out to clubs or bars is it. The more I think about it the more similar some charge. Some bars and clubs charge a cover charge. Not everyone in either of these places is who they say they are single/married etc. Be social and not afraid to meet new people regardless of the situation or location is my best advice.



a couple of places to find people that might be suitable and to whom you might be attracted to them they might be attracted to you.

Size acceptance functions. You are not meeting them alone. That they show up at a size acceptance function suggests that they are either large, attracted to large people, or both.

Community service organizations including but not limited to committees in church that are involved in community service. Here are people, most of whom, are compassionate and caring because if they are volunteers they are likely to not be doing it if they do not care to make the world better for others. A person who cares about making life better for others would, hopefully, also care about making life better for their spouse. People involved in voluntary community service are less likely to be totally focused on money, less likely to be intolerant of the differences of others, and more likely to be capable of loving and caring about someone other than themselves.


----------



## musicman (Mar 3, 2012)

bigmac said:


> For both women and men I'd advise drafting adds that scare away the type of people you don't want as well as attract the type you do want.



I totally agree! Personal ads are very different from most other advertising. You don't want to get the maximum number of responses; you only want a few good matches (or even just one if it's the right person). You should be as specific as possible about yourself and what you are looking for (or not looking for). That's how I found my wonderful wife.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 3, 2012)

bigmac said:


> For both women and men I'd advise drafting adds that scare away the type of people you don't want as well as attract the type you do want.
> 
> For example my old adds made it very clear that I was a liberal atheist who was only interested in well educated women. It worked not a single Republican ever replied and eventually I met my wife.





musicman said:


> I totally agree! Personal ads are very different from most other advertising. You don't want to get the maximum number of responses; you only want a few good matches (or even just one if it's the right person). You should be as specific as possible about yourself and what you are looking for (or not looking for). That's how I found my wonderful wife.




I'm in agreement, as well. Quality over quantity- weeding out the responses is tedious and I also find it disheartening and a big time waster. 
After I had a 37 year old brag to me about "having his own place now", I felt the need to cull the responses by saying "I work full time, pay all my bills/debts on time, have my own dwelling and support my children- any man I would consider dating should be able to say the same"
Woooooooo my responses almost dried up to nill there for a bit....and I was okay with that because I knew the ones that responded weren't "faint of heart" or Peter Pan....something I have no patience for at this point in my life. 
Also I made sure to say in the first paragraph, on any site, that if you need/prefer a thin woman, then don't respond to this ad. I was somewhat surprised by some of the responses after that because I wasn't on a BBW centric site. 

Be honest- it saves a lot of time and bullshit in the end.


----------



## sweetfrancaise (Mar 4, 2012)

Thanks for all of your kind responses! I should pare down my profile, it's a tad wordy and I really should be more blunt. And stop responding to people just because I want to be nice and give everyone a chance...

Anyway, back to the original point of the post, I'm glad that I've never invested money in eHarmony. This liberal atheist wouldn't have lasted very long!


----------

