# Mojo Jojo!



## ZainTheInsane (Jan 31, 2007)

No, no this is not about a monkey...

This thread is about cocks, penises, dicks, whatever you want to call your member...

Guys, if you're at all comfortable with your man-hood pipe up...no I'm not looking for size comparisons...I'm just looking to begin a thread concerning men's health, and reproductive organ...

Feel free to post anything you like, as long as you keep it clean, and related to hygiene, and men's health issues...

And for the women who will undoubtably read this thread...good for you...keep negative comments to yourself, and let the guys try to be comfortable with talking like you girls did on this thread...http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17965

Or something like that...yeah...

I am sooooo going to get attacked for this...


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## AnnMarie (Jan 31, 2007)

Have a ball fellas (literally, have two!)


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## Blackjack (Jan 31, 2007)

What the fuck does that title have to do with dicks?

Seriously... I do *NOT *want to discuss my penis in a thread that shares a name with a villain in a cartoon starring prepubescent fingerless superheroines.


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## ZainTheInsane (Jan 31, 2007)

Blackjack said:


> What the fuck does that title have to do with dicks?
> 
> Seriously... I do *NOT *want to discuss my penis in a thread that shares a name with a villain in a cartoon starring prepubescent fingerless superheroines.



Then ask her to change it...first off...and second Mojo is the term for a man's sexual drive...and Jojo has been the name used to refer to the male sexual organ in earlier decades...so I don't wanna hear it...Jack


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## Blackjack (Jan 31, 2007)

ZainTheInsane said:


> Then ask her to change it...first off...and second Mojo is the term for a man's sexual drive...and Jojo has been the name used to refer to the male sexual organ in earlier decades...so I don't wanna hear it...Jack



Common modern-day usage and references usually are more prominent in the mind than archaic slang.


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## Tooz (Jan 31, 2007)

Blackjack said:


> What the fuck does that title have to do with dicks?
> 
> Seriously... I do *NOT *want to discuss my penis in a thread that shares a name with a villain in a cartoon starring prepubescent fingerless superheroines.



HEY. Mojo Jojo is the best.


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## ZainTheInsane (Jan 31, 2007)

Blackjack said:


> Common modern-day usage and references usually are more prominent in the mind than archaic slang.



True, but my brain is fried from classes all day, and then a debate club until late...so...yeah, it was the best I could come up with...

:doh: now you know my horrible secret  

You must die by ninja cunning!!!


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## Blackjack (Jan 31, 2007)

tooz said:


> HEY. Mojo Jojo is the best.



Awesome character, yeah... not so great a title for a thread meant to discuss the male sex organ.


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## Santaclear (Jan 31, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> Have a ball fellas (literally, have two!)



Thanks, babe.


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## Spanky (Jan 31, 2007)

The REAL question is if the ladies like their pencils sharpened or not. 

How we "feel" about our dicks?? Hey Blackjack! How does that sound go again??


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## Fuzzy (Jan 31, 2007)

I always did have that fear that I'd strip naked in front of the girl of my dreams... only to hear her burst out laughing. :shocked:


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 31, 2007)

Penises: The poor man's clitoris. Anyone? Anyone?

I kid, I kid. They're okay. 

*Drops a pin.*


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## Blackjack (Jan 31, 2007)

Spanky said:


> Hey Blackjack! How does that sound go again??


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## ZainTheInsane (Jan 31, 2007)

hmmm, this thread needs less insanity and more penis talk...ummm...hmmm...I'm gonna just shut up now...


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## Spanky (Jan 31, 2007)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> *Drops a pin.*



Yea, but sharpened or unsharpened. C'mon TSL.  

And Blackjack, thanks, buddy, knew you'd cum up with something.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 31, 2007)

Spanky said:


> Yea, but sharpened or unsharpened. C'mon TSL.
> 
> And Blackjack, thanks, buddy, knew you'd cum up with something.



You know, sharpened or unsharpened, I'm not worried with. It's all good.

As long as it's CLEAN!


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## ZainTheInsane (Jan 31, 2007)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> You know, sharpened or unsharpened, I'm not worried with. It's all good.
> 
> As long as it's CLEAN!



Dirty whether it be a vagina or penis is icky...keep it clean, keep it well groomed peoples...for the sake of all that is pink and fleshy...keep the cocks and clits clean!!!


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 31, 2007)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Penises: The poor man's clitoris. Anyone? Anyone?
> 
> I kid, I kid. They're okay.
> 
> *Drops a pin.*




Agreed. I mean you guys can't control when it get hard or not - and it can not want to cooperate at the most inconvenient times - and you can't have mutiple orgasms.

Having a clitoris? PRICELESS!:happy:


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 31, 2007)

ZainTheInsane said:


> Dirty whether it be a vagina or penis is icky...keep it clean, keep it well groomed peoples...for the sake of all that is pink and fleshy...keep the cocks and clits clean!!!



On the flip side, nothing more irritating (literally) than someone who uses strong soaps. Ouch.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 31, 2007)

ZainTheInsane said:


> Dirty whether it be a vagina or penis is icky...keep it clean, keep it well groomed peoples...for the sake of all that is pink and fleshy...keep the cocks and clits clean!!!




Honey Woody Allen once said:

"If it aint dirty you aint doin it right."

Some guys like some funk!!!


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## Fuzzy (Jan 31, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Agreed. I mean you guys can't control when it get hard or not - and it can not want to cooperate at the most inconvenient times - and you can't have mutiple orgasms.
> 
> Having a clitoris? PRICELESS!:happy:



*laugh* 

"Not now Dick! Not now! I can't go onstage with a woody!"


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## Spanky (Jan 31, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Agreed. I mean you guys can't control when it get hard or not - and it can not want to cooperate at the most inconvenient times - and you can't have mutiple orgasms.
> 
> Having a clitoris? PRICELESS!:happy:



And with all that, we can't birth a 8 or 9 lb baby through one either. 

And even though, I am strangely glad that is the case.


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## ZainTheInsane (Jan 31, 2007)

Spanky said:


> And with all that, we can't birth a 8 or 9 lb baby through one either.
> 
> And even though, I am strangely glad that is the case.



ummm...you birth through the vagina...not the clit...


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## sean7 (Jan 31, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Agreed. I mean you guys can't control when it get hard or not - and it can not want to cooperate at the most inconvenient times - and you can't have mutiple orgasms.
> 
> Having a clitoris? PRICELESS!:happy:



We can make them nod, and we can pee in the air.

Anybody? anybody?


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## AnnMarie (Jan 31, 2007)

ZainTheInsane said:


> ummm...you birth through the vagina...not the clit...



Quit being so literal, he's just talking about our gender-specific tools of the trade.


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## Blackjack (Jan 31, 2007)

sean7 said:


> We can make them nod, and we can pee in the air.
> 
> Anybody? anybody?



We can also make spots on the wall.

BEHIND US.


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## AnnMarie (Jan 31, 2007)

Spanky said:


> Yea, but sharpened or unsharpened.



I'm familiar with both and they all have their charms.


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## ZainTheInsane (Jan 31, 2007)

sean7 said:


> We can make them nod, and we can pee in the air.
> 
> Anybody? anybody?



Oh, and we can sign our names in snow, and we can piss on someone else from a distance, and we can, if having consumed enough liquid, pee in a toilet from 10 feet away.

Freshman year of college was way too much fun...


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## Fuzzy (Jan 31, 2007)

Writing your name in the snow. Course, if a woman can do that...


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## Spanky (Jan 31, 2007)

ZainTheInsane said:


> ummm...you birth through the vagina...not the clit...



I don't piss out my balls either. But people are including them in this discussion of penises.

Can we just consider the clit as part of the greater vaginal area?? The 'burbs maybe?


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## curvalicious (Jan 31, 2007)

at least we don't have to worry about someone peeing in the urinal right next to us.

we have stalls.

we all know how homophobic you guys get if the guy next to ya gets too close.


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## sean7 (Jan 31, 2007)

Spanky said:


> I don't piss out my balls either. But people are including them in this discussion of penises.
> 
> Can we just consider the clit as part of the greater vaginal area?? The 'burbs maybe?



Sure. Since our penises have an AREA CODE OF THEIR OWN. oh yea  .


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## Fuzzy (Jan 31, 2007)

Its time for the Urinal Game! Can you pick the right urinal to use?

http://gamescene.com/The_Urinal_Game_game.html


*(Hey! This is my 5,000th post!)*


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## Blackjack (Jan 31, 2007)

curvalicious said:


> we all know how homophobic you guys get if the guy next to ya gets too close.



Because every one of "us guys" gets all sorts of creeped out whenever we come in contact with our own.


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## sean7 (Jan 31, 2007)

curvalicious said:


> at least we don't have to worry about someone peeing in the urinal right next to us.
> 
> we have stalls.
> 
> we all know how homophobic you guys get if the guy next to ya gets too close.



It's not that, it's the fact that the guy's getting close to you while you're peeing. Pretty awkward methinks. That's why we focus only on our business.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 31, 2007)

Spanky said:


> I don't piss out my balls either. But people are including them in this discussion of penises.
> 
> Can we just consider the clit as part of the greater vaginal area?? The 'burbs maybe?



ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!! *The Burbs* I love it!!!!!!!!!!


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## Spanky (Jan 31, 2007)

curvalicious said:


> at least we don't have to worry about someone peeing in the urinal right next to us.
> 
> we have stalls.




Good point. BUT, everytime I have been to any event with more than 100 people, and I have to go to the Men's Room, I go in, badda boom badda bing, and I am out. Po' ladies are still waiting in line. Still waiting. Still waiting.....

Oh, and then they come into the Men's room to take up the one or two stalls we have.


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## Santaclear (Jan 31, 2007)

I'd talk about my penis but I don't want to piss off my balls.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 31, 2007)

curvalicious said:


> at least we don't have to worry about someone peeing in the urinal right next to us.
> 
> we have stalls.
> 
> we all know how homophobic you guys get if the guy next to ya gets too close.



At least guys can hit the mark. Have you never had to deal with a pulic toilet covered with pee because the last woman refused to sit????????? DISSS-GUSTING!!!!


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 31, 2007)

Santaclear said:


> I'd talk about my penis but I don't want to piss off my balls.




No you can't leave the twins out.


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## Blackjack (Jan 31, 2007)

curvalicious said:


> at least we don't have to worry about someone peeing in the urinal right next to us.
> 
> we have stalls.



Just wanted to note this, as well.

When there's someone leaning (or looking) over towards me at the urinal, I'd consider it a bit similar to someone peering over or under the stall walls or door. It's not homophobia; it's an unwelcome invasion of privacy.


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## Fuzzy (Jan 31, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> At least guys can hit the mark. Have you never had to deal with a pulic toilet covered with pee because the last woman refused to sit????????? DISSS-GUSTING!!!!



I never had to deal with "squatters" until I worked for a gas station. I had a customer storm up to me and ask why the ladies is so filthy. OMG!


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## curvalicious (Jan 31, 2007)

Spanky said:


> I don't piss out my balls either. But people are including them in this discussion of penises.
> 
> Can we just consider the clit as part of the greater vaginal area?? The 'burbs maybe?



I love the 'burbs!!!!


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## curvalicious (Jan 31, 2007)

Blackjack said:


> Just wanted to note this, as well.
> 
> When there's someone leaning (or looking) over towards me at the urinal, I'd consider it a bit similar to someone peering over or under the stall walls or door. It's not homophobia; it's an unwelcome invasion of privacy.



yeah I realized that after I posted it about the whole stalls situation.
my bad!


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## liz (di-va) (Jan 31, 2007)

Damn. These threads (This & the Other) are seeing more action than....[insert hilarious but PC analogy here]. You know. Something or other. People love the Parts!


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## liz (di-va) (Jan 31, 2007)

No, no! Didn't mean to kill thread dead! Penises are great. Talk amongst yourselves.


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## Fuzzy (Jan 31, 2007)

Its hard for FA/admirers to talk about themselves.

I'd much rather talk about the womens.


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## liz (di-va) (Jan 31, 2007)

Fuzzy said:


> Its hard for FA/admirers to talk about themselves.
> I'd much rather talk about the womens.



I dunno why but this cracked me up. Like...the scene in Fatso when everybody starts talking about food at the diet meeting (which I haven't seen in a million years and don't know how I'd like it now or if this is a terrible analogy, but whatever). Conversations always devolving back to delicious things...

Now, no more offtopic tangents! Feel free to talk about the junk.


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## XGuy (Jan 31, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> At least guys can hit the mark. Have you never had to deal with a pulic toilet covered with pee because the last woman refused to sit????????? DISSS-GUSTING!!!!



Apparently you haven't (which is no surprise) used a lot of men's bathrooms lately. Here's the thing, men don't put the toilet seat down... why? Because they are lazy. This works both ways, they don't feel the need to put it up either.

Nothing like having raging squirts only to find you have to practicly scrub the toilet seat before you feel comfortable touching it... and then you just try not to think about the ground your standing on in bare feet.

Of course I've been known to spit on the bathroom floor once or twice, but theres something more sanitary about spit than urine.


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## cactopus (Jan 31, 2007)

ZainTheInsane said:


> No, no this is not about a monkey...
> ...I am sooooo going to get attacked for this...



Well I actually thought it might have been about Jojo gaining weight.. Feh!


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## bigplaidpants (Jan 31, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> ...I mean you guys can't control when it get hard or not...



Ah....the blight of adolescence. I basically didn't wear sweat pants or shorts from about 12-15. 

....never knew when ole Joe wanted to play "tent."


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## bigplaidpants (Jan 31, 2007)

cactopus said:


> Well I actually thought it might have been about Jojo gaining weight.. Feh!



I did, too. :doh:


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## Fatgirlfan (Jan 31, 2007)

Is it wrong and a sin to take it out for a test drive? If so why? Does everyone do it?


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## MisticalMisty (Jan 31, 2007)

Spanky said:


> I don't piss out my balls either. But people are including them in this discussion of penises.
> 
> The 'burbs maybe?



LMFAO..damn the rep system...


the clit would have to be the 'burbs in my area..hell...the area is the size of Texas!

LOL

The stars at night *clap clap clap* are big and bright *clap clap clap* deep in the heart of Texas


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## MisticalMisty (Jan 31, 2007)

XGuy said:


> Of course I've been known to spit on the bathroom floor once or twice, but theres something more sanitary about spit than urine.



Don't ask me why or how I know this..lol..but urine is quite sterile..UNLESS the person is taking meds or has an infection.

People drink it..it won't kill you to step in it..just gross ya out a little bit..LOL


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## MisticalMisty (Jan 31, 2007)

Fatgirlfan said:


> Is it wrong and a sin to take it out for a test drive? If so why? Does everyone do it?



The same reason people fornicate......boredom 

Kidding


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## AnnMarie (Jan 31, 2007)

MisticalMisty said:


> Don't ask me why or how I know this..lol..but urine is quite sterile..UNLESS the person is taking meds or has an infection.
> 
> People drink it..it won't kill you to step in it..just gross ya out a little bit..LOL



I was going to post the same, it's mentioned sometimes on survival shows, etc. 

Anyway, I'd rather step in NEITHER spit or urine, but I find spitting to be one of the most disgusting habits men have (say that because I don't think I've seen a woman spit (they way men do) in my life... but I'm sure someone does it). 

Sorry, hijack over. 

Up with penis!


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## Fuzzy (Jan 31, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> (*say that because I don't think I've seen a woman spit (they way men do) in my life*... but I'm sure someone does it). !



Guess you've never seen a gal chew tobacco/ pinch snuff?


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## GWARrior (Jan 31, 2007)

I spit. But only when Im outside and even then, only when Im smoking. And I try not to do it in front of people.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 31, 2007)

Fuzzy said:


> I always did have that fear that I'd strip naked in front of the girl of my dreams... only to hear her burst out laughing. :shocked:



I actually did burst out laughing at a man one time, many years ago, when he showed me his penis. But it was due to being young and nervous.......... but I'm laughing silently to myself again right now.....but that is because I was soooo stupid and loud when I laughed....not because of how it moved or anything.... I mean, I'm not a mean person....just flaky....


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## activistfatgirl (Jan 31, 2007)

I love diversity
Penises are great
So many diff'rent kinds
Man's box of crayons.

The Skin, Part One
So Eighteen and white
Staring at this extra skin
What do I do now?

The Skin, Part Two
HI Lil Soldier,
I love your purple helmet
Miss the baggy pants.


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## ZainTheInsane (Jan 31, 2007)

activistfatgirl said:


> I love diversity
> Penises are great
> So many diff'rent kinds
> Man's box of crayons.
> ...



 nice haikus


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## love dubh (Jan 31, 2007)

When squatting, you LIFT the seat. Sweet Jesus, is it that hard to understand?!

And the inequaltiy of bathrooms has made me sneak into the men's room now and again. 

Why does it take so long, do you ask?

Men can just walk up to the stall, whip it out, and take a piss. Rezip. Flush. Wash hands(MAYBE...I've seen many men not do this. It's fucking gross.)

Women has to get into the stall, wipe down the seat, lay down toilet paper/seat covering, unbutton/unzip the pants, sit, piss, stand up, rebutton/rezip, use the foot to push the toilet paper/seat covering into the toilet, flush, open stall, maneuver to get out of said stall (You have to stand astride over the toilet to have enough room to open the fucking door. Yes, thin women have trouble too.), and then wash your hands.


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## Jack Skellington (Jan 31, 2007)

love dubh said:


> And the inequaltiy of bathrooms has made me sneak into the men's room now and again.



Ive always been envious of womens restrooms in department stores. Clean, with tables, carpet, mirrors and potted plants. Potted plants in a mens room? Forget it. You know some guy would just take a whiz in it and carpet in a mens room would obviously be futile. 

Mens rooms generally consist of a filthy bare cement floor with a single drainage whole in the center, three urinals surrounded by a mine field or urine and one or two toilets that are the stuff of nightmares.


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## rainyday (Feb 1, 2007)

activistfatgirl said:


> The Skin, Part Two
> HI Lil Soldier,
> I love your purple helmet
> Miss the baggy pants.



So many times in this thread I've wanted to rep [size=-2](like now)[/size] but I'm thwarted at every turn.



ETA: Oops, thought I was still in the coochie thread--I meant that one--but this thread has been good as well.


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## abluesman (Feb 1, 2007)

MisticalMisty said:


> Don't ask me why or how I know this..lol..but urine is quite sterile..UNLESS the person is taking meds or has an infection.
> 
> People drink it..it won't kill you to step in it..just gross ya out a little bit..LOL



I was told by a Doctor that urine IS sterile. In fact, when faced with no medical supplies (like on a hiking trip or something), you can use urine to wash out a wound. (I know, I know..... EEEEEWWWWW).


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## HOOD_BOSS (Feb 1, 2007)

I call mine, HERCULES! (Notice the CAPS)


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## Brit (Feb 1, 2007)

Whys huld I worry about size? It's only performance that matters.


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## ZainTheInsane (Feb 1, 2007)

abluesman said:


> I was told by a Doctor that urine IS sterile. In fact, when faced with no medical supplies (like on a hiking trip or something), you can use urine to wash out a wound. (I know, I know..... EEEEEWWWWW).



Hahahaha...the Romans used to save their urine to brush their teeth with...because it has ammonia in it.


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## AnnMarie (Feb 1, 2007)

love dubh said:


> ...wipe down the seat, lay down toilet paper/seat covering, unbutton/unzip the pants, sit, piss, stand up, rebutton/rezip, ...



Uhm, for me (you know, maybe a personal thing), I prefer one more step between piss and stand up.


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## Brit (Feb 1, 2007)

ZainTheInsane said:


> Hahahaha...the Romans used to save their urine to brush their teeth with...because it has ammonia in it.



Urine was the only substance capable of putting out 'Greek Fire'. They saved it in a barrel.


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## Spanky (Feb 1, 2007)

How little boys pee....

1. Enter bathroom, turn on light.
2. Ignore that the seat is down. 
3. Unbutton, unzip and move pants down JUST BELOW the penis. 
4. Start peeing.
5. OOPS! First shot, forgot to aim down since pants keeping penis in up position, hit the tank and part of the wall before stopping flow. (damn kids got super tight plumbing)
6. OOPS! Second shot, pushed penis down, missed the hole, hit the back part of the seat before getting the last part of the shot in the hole. 
7. Last few squirts mainly go in the hole. Great aim, kid!
8. Start to pull up pants, which release the penis freeing it to REALLY let go of the last few squirts on the floor, shoes, front of the lid and the front of the pants.
9. Then tap the penis a couple times to stop all the dripping (boys never drip, tight plumbing) like Dad tells them. Of course there are no drips by now.
10. Pull up and button pants.**
11. Take little rips out of the toilet paper roll nearby and throw them in the toilet to watch them get wet, soak up, change color. Repeat this at least five to ten times since it is so much fun.
12. Run out leaving the light on, the toilet unflushed and bits/clumps of toilet paper in the bowl, not to mention the "antiseptic" pee-pee left for Mommy when she comes in to sit. 

**Oh, yea, did you notice they forgot to zip up?


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## ZainTheInsane (Feb 1, 2007)

Spanky said:


> How little boys pee....
> 
> 1. Enter bathroom, turn on light.
> 2. Ignore that the seat is down.
> ...



One of the reasons I don't think I yet have the patience to be a father.


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## Spanky (Feb 1, 2007)

ZainTheInsane said:


> One of the reasons I don't think I yet have the patience to be a father.



Actually, it's great! 

I love the first time we left one of them on the changing table sans diaper for 5 seconds (without a cover for the penis). That cold air starts old faithful and you usually get it in the eye. It's that damned tight plumbing. Amazing. 

We old guys become real leakers with age.  

OK, too much information.....


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## ZainTheInsane (Feb 1, 2007)

Spanky said:


> Actually, it's great!
> 
> I love the first time we left one of them on the changing table sans diaper for 5 seconds (without a cover for the penis). That cold air starts old faithful and you usually get it in the eye. It's that damned tight plumbing. Amazing.
> 
> ...



hehe...I'll keep that in mind


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## indy500tchr (Feb 1, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> Uhm, for me (you know, maybe a personal thing), I prefer one more step between piss and stand up.



and a VERY important step that is! I NEVER forget that step.


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## GWARrior (Feb 1, 2007)

Jack Skellington said:


> Ive always been envious of womens restrooms in department stores. Clean, with tables, carpet, mirrors and potted plants. Potted plants in a mens room? Forget it. You know some guy would just take a whiz in it and carpet in a mens room would obviously be futile.
> 
> Mens rooms generally consist of a filthy bare cement floor with a single drainage whole in the center, three urinals surrounded by a mine field or urine and one or two toilets that are the stuff of nightmares.



I have never seen a womens bathroom like that.


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## Oona (Feb 1, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> ...Up with penis!



LOL! ***

shuns the bad thoughts away***


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## cactopus (Feb 1, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> At least guys can hit the mark. Have you never had to deal with a pulic toilet covered with pee because the last woman refused to sit????????? DISSS-GUSTING!!!!



That's better than people who crap using the Roman squat. A buddy of mine has a problem with people doing that at his office... One guy got the entire wall behind the toilet.

Going while standing on the toilet seat seems to be prevalent among certain asian cultures. In Malaysia their bathrooms are like a porcelain lined hole in the ground and you have a hose/bidet style cleaning tool. At least this was the case with the prime minister's palace bathroom. Yes I shook his hands, no I didn't use the bathroom


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 2, 2007)

GWARrior said:


> I have never seen a womens bathroom like that.



they're only in fancy hotels and casinos


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