# Is there minimum requirement to be considered a BHM?



## Panzito (Jun 22, 2019)

I'm not sure if it really exists


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## FlabbyFrank (Jun 22, 2019)

Judgement call


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## LarryTheNoodleGuy (Jun 23, 2019)

I think it's like porn, you know it when you see it. Some don't consider me that big at all, others are like OMG you are HUGE what happened???


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## Starling (Jun 24, 2019)

Yeah, I don’t think there’s a set “minimum” - a relatively fit guy with a chubby face and a bit of a belly will usually register as a “BHM” to me more than an objectively heavier guy who carries weight more evenly.


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## DragonFly (Jun 24, 2019)

Starling said:


> Yeah, I don’t think there’s a set “minimum” - a relatively fit guy with a chubby face and a bit of a belly will usually register as a “BHM” to me more than an objectively heavier guy who carries weight more evenly.


Good point - it’s not easy to give it an exact scientific measurement. My idea of a BHM starts with stocky/sturdy... and that is to my eye.


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## loopytheone (Jun 24, 2019)

Yeah, I think if you consider yourself a BHM, you are free to use the label. I guess as an objective minimum, you probably don't count as one unless you are at least overweight by BMI standards (so for a 6 foot guy, that would be 185 lbs). 

Everybody has their own 'standard' for what they consider a BHM or not, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.


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## LarryTheNoodleGuy (Jun 25, 2019)

The other thing is it's up to the receiver, I find. Like when I was "thin" and I took off my shirt on a date, one time my partner said "Oh! I thought you were lean!" "Naw, I'm squishy. Is that ok?" "Yeah, I'm just sayin'."


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## BigElectricKat (Jun 25, 2019)

As some here know, I've been sorta struggling with this very issue ever since I found Dims. To some I'm not big enough, especially for the FFAs in attendance. And of course to others I'm too fat (I am only recently being able to use that word when describing myself or others). It's why I posed the question on whether I should consider gaining, even though that is not something I'm comfortable with at present.
Plus I am loathe to refer to myself as a B-H-M. More like a BOM (big okay man).


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## squeezablysoft (Jul 3, 2019)

I know one when I see one. I've seen guys who were barely overweight, bmi wise, who tickled my FFA fancy, as well as guys who were slightly obese, bmi wise, who didn't register with me at all. Agree with @Starling that faces (double chin+adorable chubby cheeks=❤) and bellies are key points of assessment, for me I also look for those cute pudgy hands and an ample seat (I appreciate large posteriors, and I am incapable of dishonesty ). I do wonder the same thing about the BBW side, still grappling with whether or not I can/should/"qualify to" identify as a BBW, if there is a thread on this topic I'd be most grateful if someone could point me to it.


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## sarahe543 (Jul 3, 2019)

If I look at a guy and I have to catch my breath, that's a BHM.


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## kinkykitten (Aug 11, 2019)

You just know.... if I see a head turner I’m like yup lol. I love really obese men, but chubby, stocky or squishy counts


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## LarryTheNoodleGuy (Aug 12, 2019)

kinkykitten said:


> You just know.... if I see a head turner I’m like yup lol. I love really obese men, but chubby, stocky or squishy counts



Bless you, my dear!


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## BigElectricKat (Aug 12, 2019)

kinkykitten said:


> You just know.... if I see a head turner I’m like yup lol. I love really obese men, but chubby, stocky or squishy counts


Well, now I'm hopeful again.


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## sarahe543 (Aug 12, 2019)

Moobs. All of the moobs. Sorry not sorry


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## Shotha (Aug 12, 2019)

I think that anyone who self-identifies as a BHM, should be accepted as one. Whether or not they're big enough to be attractive to me is another question. I think that any gainer, who longs to be a BHM, is at least a BHM on the inside.


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## BigElectricKat (Aug 13, 2019)

sarahe543 said:


> Moobs. All of the moobs. Sorry not sorry


Well, I have that going for me at least.


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## LarryTheNoodleGuy (Aug 13, 2019)

sarahe543 said:


> Moobs. All of the moobs. Sorry not sorry



Bless you, too!


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## AmyJo1976 (Aug 13, 2019)

sarahe543 said:


> Moobs. All of the moobs. Sorry not sorry


Moobs on top of a big belly are super sexy!


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## sarahe543 (Aug 13, 2019)

Hell yeah when he sits down *swoon*


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## SSBHM (Sep 24, 2019)

loopytheone said:


> Yeah, I think if you consider yourself a BHM, you are free to use the label. I guess as an objective minimum, you probably don't count as one unless you are at least overweight by BMI standards (so for a 6 foot guy, that would be 185 lbs).
> 
> Everybody has their own 'standard' for what they consider a BHM or not, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.


185?! You just made me feel like a SSSSBHM!


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## Shotha (Sep 24, 2019)

I don't think that it's possible to set a standard for being a BHM. We all have different ideas about what is "big" and what is "handsome". We're all right, because we all set the mark where big and handsome are in our own eyes.

I find that the issue has an interesting twist in my own experience. From as far back as I can remember, I wanted to be fat. Eventually, I became a gainer and most people now consider me fat. However, my personal feeling about this is that I've always been fat on the inside. So, I think that we need to be generous enough to allow others to self-identify in the way that they feel about themselves.

A lot of people nowadays address me as "big man", "big guy" or "big boy". I've started to let these people know that I would prefer to be addressed as "fat man", "fat guy" or "fat boy". I didn't set out to get big; I set out to get fat. There are plenty of people, who are big without being fat. So, this thread raises for me the question as to whether there should be a term "FHM" either alongside or instead of the term "BHM". I actually think that the word "big" used as a euphemism for "fat" is quite insulting, as it implies that being fat is such a terrible thing that we mustn't even mention it. This is true of euphemisms in general. Euphemisms tend to erase people and their identities.

In short, I believe that if you feel that you're a BHM, that is enough to qualify for the title. (We should start using the terms BHM and FHM as titles.)

FHM Shotha


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## alk27alk27 (Sep 28, 2019)

For me a BHM is at lest 200. Even at my fattest (191 ibs ) I didn’t feel like a BHM. Of course when I get fat it all goes straight to my stomach, so I look like a beach ball with sticks coming out of it. I don’t “fat” very well.


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## SSBHM (Sep 29, 2019)

alk27alk27 said:


> For me a BHM is at lest 200. Even at my fattest (191 ibs ) I didn’t feel like a BHM. Of course when I get fat it all goes straight to my stomach, so I look like a beach ball with sticks coming out of it. I don’t “fat” very well.


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## SSBHM (Sep 29, 2019)

happens to the best of us! lol

62" waist with limbs here.


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## Shh! Don’t tell! (Sep 29, 2019)

alk27alk27 said:


> For me a BHM is at lest 200. Even at my fattest (191 ibs ) I didn’t feel like a BHM. Of course when I get fat it all goes straight to my stomach, so I look like a beach ball with sticks coming out of it. I don’t “fat” very well.



If it makes you feel any better, a lot of people actually love that body type.


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## alk27alk27 (Sep 29, 2019)

Well if you meet any women that like that send them my way


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## voluptuouslover (Nov 2, 2020)

I just thought the same damn thing when I read that.....before I thought to myself HMMMM..am I?
When I saw at 6' 185 lbs. I laughed to myself doubting myself. I guess I qualify 6' 2" and almost 260 Lbs. with a 52" gut sticking out in from of me.


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## BigElectricKat (Nov 3, 2020)

Yay!!! I make the minimum requirements!!! Not sure how I feel about that.


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## Barrett (Nov 3, 2020)

Does a BMI of 54.64 meet the standard?


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## Shotha (Nov 3, 2020)

Should we even be trying to classify ourselves as BHM's? Isn't it more about how others perceive us? That will vary depending on, who perceives us. It's all about beauty being in the eye of the beholder. I know people who think that I'm a BHM and others who think that I'm a repulsively fat bastard. So how can we set a standard where all who meet that will be BHM's? There will always be disagreement over this.


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## littlefairywren (Nov 3, 2020)

Shotha said:


> Should we even be trying to classify ourselves as BHM's? Isn't it more about how others perceive us? That will vary depending on, who perceives us. It's all about beauty being in the eye of the beholder. I know people who think that I'm a BHM and others who think that I'm a repulsively fat bastard. So how can we set a standard where all who meet that will be BHM's? There will always be disagreement over this.


Very well said, Shotha. Good lord I just realised that you're my "neighbour" lol. Hello over there


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## Shotha (Nov 3, 2020)

littlefairywren said:


> Very well said, Shotha. Good lord I just realised that you're my "neighbour" lol. Hello over there



I'll just put my mask on and jump over the ditch to say hello in person.


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## littlefairywren (Nov 4, 2020)

Shotha said:


> I'll just put my mask on and jump over the ditch to say hello in person.


I just might beat you to jumping over the ditch.


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## Shotha (Nov 4, 2020)

littlefairywren said:


> I just might beat you to jumping over the ditch.



Then make sure that you jump high enough to clear the hurdles on our side.


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## AmyJo1976 (Nov 5, 2020)

I think you should just be yourself and not worry about titles or categories. If someone has a preference other than what you are, they will let you know, but you'll never find out unless you take that step and find out!

I myself enjoy a huge fat man, but I might be willing to look past that if their personality suits me. I'm saying that if I were single of course lol!


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