# Why is there a need...



## KittyKitten (Aug 1, 2010)

to make a designation for female fat admirer (FFA) rather than just the all inclusive FA? Why separate?


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## The Orange Mage (Aug 1, 2010)

One (FA) tends to mean "male, attracted to fat women" and the other (FFA) is for women attracted to fat men.

It's mainly because in conversation here it is sometimes not easily known if someone is male of female, thus this identifier is sometimes used.

Also, it could be because there's some difference between the two in terms of their experiences. Being an FA has its set of circumstances and being FFA has its own as well.


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## LoveBHMS (Aug 1, 2010)

In some cases, particularly a venue that might be related to sexual issues, some of us prefer to self ascribe this way. It is not different from a lesbian calling herself a lesbian rather than just a homosexual. Since being an FA is a bit more open in the gay community, especially when online where nobody knows you, you might also feel it's more important to indicate that you are female to avoid confusion.


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## Amandy (Aug 1, 2010)

Ref: http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=57340

You'll have to pry that extra F out of my cold dead hand.


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## mercy (Aug 4, 2010)

I could do without that extra F.


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## wrestlingguy (Aug 6, 2010)

One of the things that I've seen change during my time at Dimensions since 1997 is the need to separate people who frequent it. I'm pretty sure this wasn't initiated by Conrad, but appears to have come from within the ranks of those who post here.

There were only a couple of forums in the Old School Dims. Over the years, we've created forums that segment groups from the Dimensions world, I suppose so other like minded people can recognize each other, or so they could have a protected forum.

In the case of FFA, there's no forum, so I think it may just have come into play to help identify the like minded people on the forum.

For me personally, I miss the days where everyone kinda talked just as one big group. Seemed like everyone was more tolerant, and learned more from each other via dialogue.


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## LoveBHMS (Aug 6, 2010)

wrestlingguy said:


> One of the things that I've seen change during my time at Dimensions since 1997 is the need to separate people who frequent it. I'm pretty sure this wasn't initiated by Conrad, but appears to have come from within the ranks of those who post here.
> 
> There were only a couple of forums in the Old School Dims. Over the years, we've created forums that segment groups from the Dimensions world, I suppose so other like minded people can recognize each other, or so they could have a protected forum.
> 
> ...



The experience of being male and the experience of being female are just different, as are public perceptions of male and female sexuality. Look at the fact that the vast majority of the bashes and clubs and dances are geared towards male FAs. Additionally, the vast majority of fat-specific porn is fat women and marketed to male FAs.

On a broader level, women's experinces being fat can be different from men's. I've said this before but I've had a partner who was a fat male lawyer and one who was a skinny male tradesman. I got a LOT more grief for being with a skinny blue collar man than a fat white collar one. Men are judged on the attractiveness of their partner; women are too but not to the same degree.

Additionally, I think even though it may be harder for a man to be with a fat woman as far as social or familial pressure, people on some level "get it" that men are sexual creatures with sexual preferences. A female who insists to her friends or family that she just doesn't want a skinny guy, or worse who rejects a skinny guy who looks good on paper, would probably be seen as superficial or just plain dumb for not being interested. My point is just as male and female experiences are different, so are being a male FA and female FA.


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## Webmaster (Aug 6, 2010)

A very valid observation. In the olden days, I set up a Female FA column in Dimensions Magazine because one of our frequent contributors who was a female FA, requested it. I think her column probably resonated with a good number of female FAs.

As for the separation/segmentation, yes, that has been happening over the past few years. The added forums almost invariably came into existence upon requests. The argumentation for such forums was always quite convincingly presented, though those who fight for a new forum are usually not those who later play a major role in a new forum.

Sometimes I wonder if this is all sort of a spirit of the times kind of thing. When you look at history, there are times when people, regions, cultures all seek to combine into larger political entities, and there are times when everyone wants to separate and break into ever smaller groups. Not sure why that happens.

As is, I think the term FFA has its use. No one has to use it if they don't want to, and it's far from perfect, as is the term FA itself. And if it helps in learning more about the FFA preference and orientation, and how it is either the same or different from the male FA experience, then all the better.



wrestlingguy said:


> One of the things that I've seen change during my time at Dimensions since 1997 is the need to separate people who frequent it. I'm pretty sure this wasn't initiated by Conrad, but appears to have come from within the ranks of those who post here.
> 
> There were only a couple of forums in the Old School Dims. Over the years, we've created forums that segment groups from the Dimensions world, I suppose so other like minded people can recognize each other, or so they could have a protected forum.
> 
> ...


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## Amandy (Aug 6, 2010)

Thank you Conrad, I SO appreciate that you have seen the validity in the F that some of us feel is intrinsic to our sexual/gender identity.

I'd argue that having the extra F actually makes the community more welcoming. At first glance, a smaller woman can feel out of place here - the extra F has always said to me, _you have a place in this community too._

I still don't get why the extra F is automatically non-inclusive? It's descriptive, but not necessarily divisive.


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## SnapDragon (Aug 9, 2010)

I just call myself a 'fat fetishist'.

People like to self-identify using a variety of terms. I've known homosexual people identify as gay, lesbian, queer, and so on, and similar variety in the transsexual community. Different terms seem to have different connotations that certain people seem to find more comfortable. I like that there's nothing compromising or subtle about 'fat fetishist', but others may feel at ease using an acronym or something milder and more secretive.


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