# Buffie, Fatlane, and Friends!



## fatlane (Feb 3, 2006)

OK, we're re-inventing our show now that Buffie's come back from the nail salon. We're keeping Buffie and Fatlane in the title because, well, that's where the franchise is, but since we have so many recurring guests/segments/stuff like that, we felt it best to go with an "and Friends!" in the title.

We're fortunate to have booked CANDYE KANE, ladies and gentlemen! CANDYE KANE is our musical act and house band for at least the first month! Yes, yes! (applause)

For our guests, we'll have pretty much whoever walks on in. We're keeping that part of the format open. We also have more than one camera, so we can get our guests in the same shot as me and Buffie. We're quite excited about that.

So, sing along if you know the words! Here's Candye Kane belting out the old standard, "Miss Bessie's Barbecue!" (Wild, raving applause!!!)

_HEY!
MISS BESSIE!
You sure got some fine barbecue

Hey, Miss Bessie
You sure got some fine barbecue
Hey, Miss Bessie
You sure got some fine barbecue
I'll be around to get some
Tonight around a quarter to two
_


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## fatlane (Feb 3, 2006)

Thanks for the music, Candye! (Applause)

Well, for our first segment, we've sent our roving reporter Lee Ballou to Thailand to report on the JUMBO QUEEN contest they have every year. Here's a sample of what he found:


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## AnnMarie (Feb 3, 2006)

I'm completely curious about the meaning of the proudly displayed propane/gas tank. 

Do tell, Mr. Ballou.


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## fatlane (Feb 3, 2006)

-ly Ballou here at the site of the Jumbo Queen contest, where the sponsors include the Phuket Propane Company. Their slogan: _"When someone offers you our competitor, you just say, PHUKET!"_

In fact, a recent runner-up in the Jumbo Queen contest was the daughter of the Phuket Propane Company's president. Contestants enter from all walks of Thai life with but one thing in common: they're fat and beautiful. OK, two things. There are separate weight categories, plus an overall winner.

There's also a series of videos on the subject. They're all in Thai, but after watching them, I've learned that fat is the universal language, provided you fast-forward past the parts where there isn't anyone fat on the screen.


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## Buffie (Feb 3, 2006)

Terrific Tip of the Day! 

Avoid a Paula-Abdul-esque thumb-nail infection. Take your own files to the salon and bring them home with you after their use. That way you know it's only your cooties under your cuticles.  LoL

On tomorrow's show... How to waste a weekend without getting wasted.


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## fatlane (Feb 3, 2006)

Say, Buffie, how big are you? According to http://japundit.com/archives/2005/05/04/584/ , the winner of the heavyweight division was just over 400 lbs. With a little training and a lot of tacos, I bet you could take her down, easy!


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## AnnMarie (Feb 3, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Say, Buffie, how big are you? According to http://japundit.com/archives/2005/05/04/584/ , the winner of the heavyweight division was just over 400 lbs. With a little training and a lot of tacos, I bet you could take her down, easy!



I'm already there!


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## fatlane (Feb 3, 2006)

SCORE! And you're HAWT, too!

Er, I mean, you have beautiful eyes and a remarkable wit.

So, what are the entrance requirements? Lee?

****

Well, as far as I can tell, the biggest one is being able to read entrance forms written in Thai.

****

Thank you, Lee!

So, AnnMarie? Buffie? Any chance of you gals learning enough Thai to fly down to Bangkok and bring the trophy and the attendant cash prize back to the State?


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## Buffie (Feb 3, 2006)

I'm holding steady at 5'8" and 360-ish. At my height, Fatlane... hrm... But I can certainly put away the tacos. In fact, I had tacos TWICE this week. For me, that's a record! Kickass, huh?

I'm diggin the new avatar, btw.


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## fatlane (Feb 3, 2006)

That's great news on the taco front, Buffie! Goes well with the rest of your front! (rimshot)

Avatar courtesy of Elton, Atkinson, and Laurie, Ltd. 

So how about the Thai courses? Any chance of those?


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## Buffie (Feb 3, 2006)

AnnMarie would stomp the competition. She'd send those other girls home cryin. I'm certain of it. 

Me... I freeze up when I'm put on the spot. I'd just stand in the middle of the stage and stutter, then possibly pass out, fall down, bounce back the other way and give myself a concussion. Not cute. Not at all.


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## AnnMarie (Feb 3, 2006)

fatlane said:


> That's great news on the taco front, Buffie! Goes well with the rest of your front! (rimshot)
> 
> Avatar courtesy of Elton, Atkinson, and Laurie, Ltd.
> 
> So how about the Thai courses? Any chance of those?




MMMmmm, Laurie. 

:wubu:


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## fatlane (Feb 3, 2006)

Please don't chew on my leg. Thank you.

So, AnnMarie, it looks like you've been nominated to represent the States in the Jumbo Queen contest. 

Here's your first lesson in Thai:

_*Mai chawp khun, dag ling*_ _I don't like you, monkey arse._

Repeat it three times until you've got it right. Then we move to the next phrase.


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## Buffie (Feb 3, 2006)

Mmmm, Bean. ~Giggle SNORT!~


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## fatlane (Feb 3, 2006)

Looks like we'll be booking a bevy of British actors in the coming weeks...

Someone look up the Thai for, "We'll be right back after these messages!"


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## Buffie (Feb 3, 2006)

British boys have accents! Meeee-ow!


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## AnnMarie (Feb 3, 2006)

I'm working on my line, but I don't believe I have the intonation quite right. 

I sound like the lady at my Chinese food place?


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## Jane (Feb 3, 2006)

Buffie said:


> AnnMarie would stomp the competition. She'd send those other girls home cryin. I'm certain of it.
> 
> Me... I freeze up when I'm put on the spot. I'd just stand in the middle of the stage and stutter, then possibly pass out, fall down, bounce back the other way and give myself a concussion. Not cute. Not at all.


That's the reason God made Xanax.....


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## fatlane (Feb 3, 2006)

Buffie: Spot on, dear.

AnnMarie: I'll have the Orange Peel Beef with a side of white rice.

Jane: You are the Hunter S. Thompson of this crew. I hope. Got any 'ludes?


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## Buffie (Feb 4, 2006)

I tried a Xanax once, Jane... on a Saturday afternoon. An hour after I took it, life was reallllllly goooooood and then suddenly it was Wednesday. Magic! hee hee!!! If you are the Hunter of the group, I demand you turn over all fire arms and barrels of gun powder RIGHT NOW. We shall not have you punching your card even a nanosecond before your time. Ya hear?

AnnMarie, I'll have the beef and green peppers, add cilantro... spring rolls... a side of dim sum and some peanut sauce, please. No 'and den'. 

You, Meester Fatlane... you need some fashion schooling. Start slow, with some classics. Brush up on your Halston and Bob Mackie, maybe some Chanel. Then move on to shoes and bags, LV, Hermes. But please don't pull some crap-tastic Greg Lake manuver and start prancing around in silk Versace shirts just because you now know the difference between French seams and pin seams. Leave that to the used car salesmen in Boca Raton. (No offense to used car salesmen in Boca Raton.)

Coming up next week... We investigate the mysterious origins of old shoes in the middle of the street. Why is there only one? How did it get there? Who's wearing the other shoe? Do they realize it's lost? We turn up more questions than answers, I'm afriad. Don't miss this must-see episode.


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## AnnMarie (Feb 4, 2006)

Jane.... Chinese?


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## Jane (Feb 4, 2006)

What, who? No, that wasn't Chinese, I was simply chewing on my tongue...darn old 'ludes anyway. FL why did your remind me I had them. Some kind of chemical reaction happens after 15 years in the bottom of a clutch purse with three Chicklets and 1/2 a pack of menthols.

Buffie...they've demoted me down to 2x4's. Darn ATF anyway.


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## fatlane (Feb 4, 2006)

Oh please, Buffie, I'm not totally fashion-illiterate! I don't wear white socks with a dark suit, for instance.

AnnMarie, you're doing great with your Thai lessons. Keep it up, and you'll be Jumbo Queen 2006!

Jane, gimme one of them Chicklets and see what kinda buzz I get from in.

NOW! LIVE IN THE STREET! OLD SHOES!!!







*SHOCKING!!!*


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## fatlane (Feb 4, 2006)

Coming up later on this forum... My 3000th post, so don't go away, we got a great show for you today! First, we gotta pay some bills... Candye, take us to the break...

_(Candye sings "I Put a Spell on You")_


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## fatlane (Feb 4, 2006)




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## fatlane (Feb 4, 2006)

And we're back! 

OK, like I promised... my 3000th post! Coming up next!


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## fatlane (Feb 4, 2006)

*POST NUMBER 3000!!! FREAK OUT!!!*





2, 3, 4! FREAK OUT, BABY!





have a nice trip, see you next fall...





All power to the people with oven mitts, right now! RIGHT ON!





EVERYBODY GET FREEEEEEAAAAAAAKYYYYYY! DUUUUUUUUDE!!!





Suzy Creamcheese, what's gotten into you?


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## AnnMarie (Feb 4, 2006)

Nice to see the 3000 mark!!  Congrats. 

And Jane... No, I have to put in the Chinese order, so I need to know what you... 

You know what, never mind, it's been a while and I'm sure Buffie has had more tacos by now.


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## Buffie (Feb 4, 2006)

3000th POST!!! WOW!!! That's amazing! Jane, whip out the fuzz-covered, slightly-pefume flavored purse-bottom candy, let's celebrate FatLane's 3000th pos.... ~record scratch~ Tacos? Did AnnMarie say Tacos? Where? ~Sniff Sniff~ I think the smell is coming from over here.


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## fatlane (Feb 4, 2006)

Everyone over to Buffie's place for a TACO FRENZY!!!






























Yo quiero dies y nueve tacos, por favor.


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## Jane (Feb 4, 2006)

Sorry, it was the 'ludes.....missed all that Chinese food. Next time, just assume Lo Mein....unless I tell you differently.

One Chicklet, fuzz picked off (as much as possible), wiped on my shirt, and handed to FL.

Am I running the camera on this segment?


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## fatlane (Feb 4, 2006)

Put the camera on the tripod and....

whoa...






DUDE! THE CATS ARE FULL OF STARS!!!


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## Jane (Feb 4, 2006)

MAN!!!! Now I have to clean another Chicklet.....Stars, huh?


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## Buffie (Feb 4, 2006)

You guys took to long, the tacos are gone. Does anyone else wish they could sing like Barry Manilow?

Hey, know what's tasty? Steen. (Some kind of wine from South Africa, a little dry but mostly sweet, light, even with tacos.)

Drinka Pinta Buffie-a Day!


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## Buffie (Feb 4, 2006)

Uh, you guys... I think I might be a little drunk. I don't know how it happened. Max went to the deli for some cheese and I didn't want his glass to get warm, so I drank it and then I finished mine and might have had another and he's still not home and it's been like 27 minutes. Do you think he'll be mad at me?


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## Jane (Feb 4, 2006)

Let him taste the wine on your lips. That should help.


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## Buffie (Feb 4, 2006)

Hey, know what else? I watched this Lisa Loeb show. She's so cute. Anyway, I am kinda not well-sighted. Max put me on garage restriction over a year ago because his tool box kinda hit my car when I was pulling into the garage and it kinda bounced off the car and went through the wall and maybe broke some stuff and maybe it is because I kinda don't see so well. But someone jacking with my eyes??? An eye doctor??? No way, man. I can't do it. What do they do to your eyes? Do they touch them? I could never wear contacts and I don't think I'll look Lisa Loeb cute in glasses. Max had to get new glasses this week and if we didn't have insurance they would have cost almost $600!!! Can you freakin BELIEVE that? $600 bucks for glasses?? Are you kidding me? Dammit people. Maybe I should get a job at Lens Crafters or something. Moses.


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## Buffie (Feb 4, 2006)

That's a keen idea Jane! You're cooler than Hello Kitty!


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## Jane (Feb 4, 2006)

They don't pay the LensCrafters people enough!!

I was office manager for an eye doctor and ran the lens lab as well.

I get to make the "new glasses" adventure on Valentine's Day. No choice. I can't judge distance at night now, and nearly broke my neck going down steps the other night. My friends have been driving me the last month or so, when we're out at night.

Mine will cost about that much, and trust me, I wheedle, and harass opticians as much as possible to get the price down.


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## Jane (Feb 4, 2006)

Buffie said:


> That's a keen idea Jane! You're cooler than Hello Kitty!


Well, thank you. After all, what choice does he have? You've already consumed the wine, which should lead to happiness for him later in the evening.


Where the heck is FL? And are we ever coming back from commercial????


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## fatlane (Feb 4, 2006)

We've BEEN back from commercial! What are you guys doing here yakking in the Green Room?

We've got famed taco chef, Oscar Jimenez, doing a segment right now! We need Buffie out there ten seconds ago for a tasting!

Oh yeah, say hi to the camera crew filming this.

And the mantids. Don't you see the mantids, too?


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## Jane (Feb 4, 2006)

Thank God for the tripod.

Sure, FL, we see them....sure we do.


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## fatlane (Feb 4, 2006)

And Jane, you've got to do the weather, but not to Steve Martin-y this time, K?


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## Jane (Feb 4, 2006)

50% chance of rain....it will or it won't.....if there are no clouds, chances are it won't. (Think Hippy-Dippy Weatherman)

Back to you, FL.


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## Buffie (Feb 5, 2006)

Wow, that was a good nap. Sup? How's everyone doing?


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## AnnMarie (Feb 5, 2006)

I'm still hungry.

Plus, I've forgotten almost all of my Thai. Apparently it's definately something you lose if you don't use.

*sigh*

Now I'll NEVER be Miss Jumbo Queen


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## Buffie (Feb 5, 2006)

Aww, drag. I'm kinda hungry too. 

I think I know some Japanese and a little Bulgarian. But I can't spell any of it, so I'll have to tell you next time I see you. Remind me. I think you'll find the phrases highly useful in your travels. 

Damn the Miss Jumbo Queen title! It doesn't suit you any way. It implies no super powers, so unique wit. Pish tosh, you don't need it woman! By the power vested in me by the Oklahoma State Board of Cosmetology, I now pronounce you, AnnMarie BigCutie to be Miss Goddess Mega-Babe Universal Wonder Princess. (Queens are old. You don't quailfy for old.)


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## Buffie (Feb 5, 2006)

Hee hee hee! These are my teeth. 

View attachment TEETH.jpg


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## bigcutiekaroline (Feb 5, 2006)

Yep...those are your teeth! lol
Why for art they there?
Sillies!

I made nacho dip tonight....where were you Buff?
I waited and waited.....but then I ate it ....sorry!!!


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## fatlane (Feb 6, 2006)

OK, so we essentially need the Jumbo Queen thing here in the US, but with super-powers or something as good... how about whoever lands in the top ten of a US version of the contest gets to appear in a rebuttal commercial to follow every diet and rail-thin fashion commercial. 

Let's open up the phone lines to talk about this.

Hello, caller! You're on the air!


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## Jane (Feb 6, 2006)

Yeah, long time viewer, first time caller here.....

I wanna move that Jumbo Queen thing here, 'cause this is 'Merica, and we deserve all the Jumbo Queens.

Thank you.


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## fatlane (Feb 6, 2006)

OK, so the consensus is in... now do we keep the name or do we make changes as some have suggested?

Let's take another call.

Hi! You're on the air!


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## Buffie (Feb 6, 2006)

Uhm Hi, I'm Eiffub Jones... uhhh first time caller. Shout out to my peeps in Delaware.

To that Karoline chick, uh like next time you make the nachos, maybe you should send out a signal or something...uh... maybe like the one they use to call Batman? 

That Fatlane guy is pretty funny. The cute chicks seem to dig him and stuff. I like Jane and AnnMarie, too. They're tits. Totally. Uhh, yeah, so uh, I like your show and keep up the great work and stuff. Uhh, as for a new title, you could call it uhh Buffie Knows EVERYTHING or The Buffie Worship Hour? 

Yeah, those are my suggestions. Thanks. Uhh bye.


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## swamptoad (Feb 6, 2006)

Buffie, first time listener...long time caller *wait did I say that incorrectly?*

Then why do we still have that durned fortune telling eight ball...

and why are my question marks standing on their heads ¿¿¿¿¿

Swamptoad next puts down the tin cup and string and walks around the corner and mingles with the rest of the cast.


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## Buffie (Feb 6, 2006)

Well hello there, Swaptoad. Welcome. Watch your step. Fatlane leaves his stuff lying around every where, don't trip and fall. 

Your thoughts on tacos?


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## fatlane (Feb 6, 2006)

We're sorry for the interruption, but we've just received word that BUFFIE'S, repeat, BUFFIE'S PM box is full and she cannot receive any more PMs. Until such time as she clears it out, authorities are advising persons post their messages to her in open forums, placing portions they want kept secret in codes. That is all.

**********

Well, that explains why MY message didn't go through. So, here it is, in code:

Yes... I was in _(homina homina)_ for a year, before I _(yadda yadda yadda)_. Then I accidentally got _(content redacted for reasons of national security)_, so I _(wink wink)_ with a _(nudge nudge)_.

So who do you do the _(expletive deleted)_ for?


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## Buffie (Feb 6, 2006)

I fixed it, Fatlane... Sorry... I never delete old messages because I'm in a perpetual state of duh. ~sheepish grin~


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## fatlane (Feb 6, 2006)

Excellent news. I sent the real one just now.

I'll leave the other one as it is because SOMEONE won't let us edit our older posts... I won't mention any names :COUGH:ANMARIE:COUGH: but it's someone who has appeared on this very show...


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## fatlane (Feb 6, 2006)

And, Buffie, the producers told me to talk with you about changing your title. "Senior Member" just isn't hip enough for the kids. You've got to have a relevant title if we're gonna hook the 18-29 crowd.


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## Buffie (Feb 6, 2006)

~Shocked!~ You CAN'T edit old posts, even just a little old. Piddle. Guess I'll actually have to spell check as I go, now. Phooey.

Senior Member... you don't like my Senior Member? Well... I don't quite know what to say. And even if I did, I don't know how to change it, so now what?


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## Buffie (Feb 6, 2006)

Notice anything different?


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## Fuzzy (Feb 6, 2006)

Meow??????


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## Buffie (Feb 6, 2006)

Meow meow! Purrrrr. MEOW!


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## bigcutiekaroline (Feb 7, 2006)

Cats? I thought I heard cats.....................? Who let the cats in? Dammit Buffie.......no pets on the set........you promised!!! They keep getting into my bowl of milk I have to drink with my m & m's........Sigh........:eat1:


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## fatlane (Feb 7, 2006)

Whooooooaaaaa.... that second chicklet.... without the hair removed....................

Thanks to Jane's psychoactive purse, Buffie's purring, and Karoline's scolding, I'm now having the wildest trip... I see Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood with Buffie as Henrietta Pussycat and Karoline as Lady Aberlin... And, oh! It's Handyman Negri with Queen Sara!

IT IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND TODAY WE WILL LEARN ABOUT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS!!! LET'S ALL SEE WHAT CHEF BROCKETT IS COOKING!!!


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## Jane (Feb 7, 2006)

This is Chef Brockett....we've got to go to the store before we cook....someone ate everything in the kitchen. Damn that crew.

Back to you.


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## fatlane (Feb 7, 2006)

I know why _I'm_ up this early, but what are _you_ doing up this early, Jane?


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## swamptoad (Feb 7, 2006)

View attachment tacobell.JPG



Okay, who's been pulling these pranks or why didn't anyone let me on this? Oh well too late now. *BUMMER* View attachment argh.gif


And, speaking of being up early ....has there already been a breakfast taco invented yet?


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## Jane (Feb 7, 2006)

fatlane said:


> I know why _I'm_ up this early, but what are _you_ doing up this early, Jane?


Work, work, work, work....they make me show up!!!!! ((Sobbing))


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## fatlane (Feb 7, 2006)

Mr. Toad! YES! There ARE breakfast tacos! There are also breakfast taco's, but I don't want to harp about grammar right now.

Jane! YES! Work! I remember now! You're supposed to catalog my wardrobe! Get that done, chop-chop!

I have to go play golf now. Ugh. Anyone want to trade?


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## AnnMarie (Feb 7, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Excellent news. I sent the real one just now.
> 
> I'll leave the other one as it is because SOMEONE won't let us edit our older posts... I won't mention any names :COUGH:ANMARIE:COUGH: but it's someone who has appeared on this very show...



Hey, don't blame me! I have no issue with the edit thing, and think it should be longer, but I don't make the rulez.


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## fatlane (Feb 7, 2006)

Well, Just don't set the edit time as negative, or we won't be able to post at all!

Who's on tap for tonight's show? I heard we booked Grace Slick to sing "White Rabbit". Was that already planned or does it have anything to do with Jane's fuzzy chicklets?


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## bigcutiekaroline (Feb 7, 2006)

Weren't you golfing? Fatlane quit raiding the audiences purses........Only Jane's Chicklets have the magic powers.....


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## swamptoad (Feb 7, 2006)

Grace Slick! 

*YAY*

View attachment eatme.jpg


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## fatlane (Feb 7, 2006)

Apparently I'm not golfing, but bowling. The drugs just made me hallucinate something fierce. Feirce. Fierce. Yeah, that's it... fierce.

_One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small,
And the ones that mother gives you
Don't do anything at all.
Go ask Alice
When she's ten feet tall.
And if you go chasing rabbits
And you know you're going to fall,
Tell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillar
Has given you the call.
Call Alice
When she was just small.
When the men on the chessboard
Get up and tell you where to go
And you've just had some kind of mushroom
And your mind is moving low.
Go ask Alice
I think she'll know.
When logic and proportion
Have fallen sloppy dead,
And the White Knight is talking backwards
And the Red Queen's "off with her head!"
Remember what the dormouse said:
"Feed your head. Feed your head. Feed your head"

_


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## Jane (Feb 7, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Apparently I'm not golfing, but bowling. The drugs just made me hallucinate something fierce. Feirce. Fierce. Yeah, that's it... fierce.
> 
> _One pill makes you larger
> And one pill makes you small,
> ...


Never try to golf using a bowling ball. I've broken more putters that way.....oh yeah, I'll be driving the golf car. I know where the beer is kept....carry on.


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## fatlane (Feb 7, 2006)

Well, I think I'll bring in the viewers with some reporting about porn...


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## fatlane (Feb 7, 2006)

I have no shame at all. I call it "soft news", but we all know what it really is.

Should have some great ratings tonight. Up the advertising rates.


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## swamptoad (Feb 7, 2006)

Is it okay if Barney tags along too?

He says that he wants to help watch over the beer.

View attachment barney.jpg


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## fatlane (Feb 7, 2006)

NO! Barney's our competition! And that purple dinosaur's not welcome either!


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## swamptoad (Feb 8, 2006)

Ok. oops:doh: 

Better let him down gently.

Can we go to commercial break?


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## Jane (Feb 8, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Jane! YES! Work! I remember now! You're supposed to catalog my wardrobe! Get that done, chop-chop!


Let's see, frilly shirt, frilly shirt, overly-brocaded waist coat, 2, 3, 4; silly short pants.....women's panties, wait.....FL, what the heck are these doing in your underwear drawer?


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## Jane (Feb 8, 2006)

fatlane said:


> I have no shame at all. I call it "soft news", but we all know what it really is.
> 
> Should have some great ratings tonight. Up the advertising rates.


Heck, you can even sell Soft Porn in Oklahoma.


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## fatlane (Feb 8, 2006)

S.T.: see if you can book Charo. I love it when Charo's on the air, and I want to be the next Howard Cosell! Better get the Bay City Rollers, too!

Jane: NO QUESTIONS! CATALOG! CHOP-CHOP!

And now... some CORN PORN!!!


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## bigcutiekaroline (Feb 8, 2006)

Do you really think veggies are a good topic for this show? Let's do an audience poll and find out if it is all aobut veggies or let me see.....maybe TACOS!!!!!


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## swamptoad (Feb 8, 2006)

What if the poll results win in favor of Tacos?

Do the other audience members get upset and start throwing tomatoes?

View attachment la-tomatina.jpg
:shocked: 

Charo performs:

*YAY ratings!*

View attachment charolv3.jpg


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## Jane (Feb 8, 2006)

The audience said they only want to hear about the frilly women's underpants in your arsenal O' clothese, FL.

Sorry, ratings is all!!!!!!!


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## fatlane (Feb 8, 2006)

OK, we'll do the underpants thing and then another tomato toss and Charo closes out the show!

This is one for the anniversary compilation, for sure!


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## Jane (Feb 8, 2006)

WRITERS!!!!! Script edit....we need an entire segment on FL's collection o' women's frilly underpants.


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## swamptoad (Feb 8, 2006)

Speaking of frilly... can we have a joke of the day?

Joke-O-Day

brought to you by:

*advertisement*

View attachment bonkers.jpg


"Frilly Knickers"

Once upon a time, there was a woman working at a lingerie counter, and a customer came to the counter with a pair of frilly panties and said shed like to buy them, adding, but only of you can embroider `If you can read this, youre too close. on the back. 

So, the saleswoman took the panties to the tailor in back, and described the rather unusual request. 

The tailor said, Well, she sounds like a stick in the mud, but I can do that. Does she want block letters or script? 

Since the saleswoman didnt know, she went back around to the counter, and asked, do you want that in block letters or script? 

The customer replied, with a smile, Braille.

Also, where's the weather report?


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## fatlane (Feb 8, 2006)

Can you make that into a skit with Buffie? Thanks!

Who's our other guest tonight?


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## Jane (Feb 8, 2006)

The other guest was Larry the Shivering Chipmunk, but he's a no show....fill FL, fill.....


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## fatlane (Feb 8, 2006)

I'll see if I can get Pat Robertson and Harry Belafonte on to have a debate. We'll have them sit on opposite sides of Buffie.


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## Jane (Feb 8, 2006)

A Buffie buffer? Whoa.....


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## bigcutiekaroline (Feb 8, 2006)

and you think this will make them debate????? They will be drooling fools with marbles in their mouths.....Bad idea Fatknuckles!


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## swamptoad (Feb 8, 2006)

Pat Robertson and Harry Belafonte?

*YIKES*

oops I forgot:doh: 

silly me....RATINGS!


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## Buffie (Feb 8, 2006)

swamptoad said:


> View attachment 3032
> 
> 
> 
> ...




     

Oh my sorrow! ~Falls backwards onto a fainting couch.~ I have no more tears left to shed. I've wept them all away upon hearing such tragic news. WHY can't it be Yesterday!?!? WHY??? WHY??????? (Does it make me an asshole that I'm not a fan of Paul McCartney, because I'm just not. Never was. Am I a jerk now?)

Karoline, I have a serious question for you. ~Putting on my best British accent.~ Who? Who who? Who? Who let the dogs out?

I wanna change my shoes and sing at the same time. I don't wanna sit next to Pat Roberwhatever. He smells like God Squad. The other dude, he's cool though. He sings banana songs. He doesn't change his cardigan at the same time, but we forgive him, right, cuz not everyone is so talented as dear Mr. Rogers. 

Maybe I should be watching the Grammys... but I TiVo'd it and now I'm obligated to watch and where are the hot blonde guys? Keith Urban!? Excuse me, but he looks like he's a month past due for a flea dip. Mariah is looking good though. She looks healthy. And that hair! Ohmigoodness, to die for hair. Like a princess. NO! Like Rapunzel! Holy shit, that's Faith Hill... egads, what did Tim McGraw DO to her?! She looks like a Texas soccer mom. I'm puzzled. This is not cool. No free tacos, craptacular Grammys. 

Thank goodness there's at least ONE good show on TV, right? Are ya with me? Fatlane? AnnMarie? Jane? Karoline? Toad? Yes? Everyone?


----------



## fatlane (Feb 8, 2006)

I always try to watch award shows through a drug-induced haze. All I had this year was store-brand diet cola.






Yeee-haw. Some buzz. Some haze. Crap, I've had better hazes from staying up past my usual bedtime... no wonder The Man encourages his drones to consume caffeine at work!

It's all a plot.

Later on B,F,&F, we'll have the Iron Chefs on with the secret ingredient of FAJITAS!!!

So don't go away!


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 8, 2006)

swamptoad said:


> Speaking of frilly... can we have a joke of the day?
> 
> Joke-O-Day
> 
> ...


I've got one-
Oh yeah, sponser:doh: 
--Joke-O-Day Brought to you by the freindly folks down at:
*Weed World*; "Weed makes the world go round."

In a fancy paris restaurant, there is a magical wish granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth-if you lie you disappear. One day a blond, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror. The brunette goes first.

"I think I'm the smartest woman on Earth."
Poof! She disappears.

The redhead goes next.

"I think I'm the prettiest woman on Earth."
Poof! She disappears.

The blonde goes last.

"I think-"
Poof! She disappears.


----------



## Jane (Feb 8, 2006)

Please patronize our sponsor, Chicklets, with the new flavor, "Been In Jane's Old Purse Too Long." Which comes in both fuzzed and defuzzed versions (FL prefers the fuzzed).

Back to you FL....


----------



## Buffie (Feb 8, 2006)

Back to Fatlane, pfft. ~Shoves him off desk and takes microphone.~

Back to me. I've been rooting around in Jane's purse for an hour and you guys won't BELIEVE the stuff I found in there. Jimmy Hoffa, a velvet Elvis, the master copy of the Paris Hilton sex tape, some fat chick named Kelli (HA) and this odd little key. Jane, what's the key for? Can I have it? It's sparkly. I could glue pink jewels to it and wear it as a necklace! Ohhh, I like it.

Hee hee, TH3_GH0$T told a great blonde joke! Applause! Ha ha ha ha haaa!!!

Oh, I've got a joke! This guy goes to a psychologist and he lays on the couch, writhing and flailing and repeating "I'm a teepee! I'm a wigwam! I'm a teepee!!! I'm a WIGWAM!!!! I'M A TEE PEE!!! I'm a WIGWAAAAAMMMM!!!!" and the psychologist looks at the guy and says "I know what your problem is... You're too tense." (TWO TENTS... Get it!? Get it???) Did I spell wigwam correctly?


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 8, 2006)

**Pun-derful Headlines**

Oh yes! The Grammy's!

..and there were couples...plenty of lovely couples. The couple who met in a revolving door are still going round together. I don't just write this down for nothing. To write with a broken pencil is pointless. 

Egads! In other news today there was a fight in the candy store. Two suckers got licked. And then there was this terrible thief. A thief who stole a calendar and got twelve months. What's the world coming to?


----------



## Jane (Feb 8, 2006)

Buffie, that's the key to the Pink Cadillac. We have to have that key to make the Pink Girl runs.

I will have you a copy made which you can bejewel and wear as a necklace.







This is the official Pink Girl T-Shirt.....


----------



## Buffie (Feb 8, 2006)

Somebody gag me, Bruce Springsteen's hair!!! AAAK!


----------



## Buffie (Feb 8, 2006)

I think I'm going to need one of those t-shirts! Jane, it's pink-tastic!!! Can I borrow your car? I wish my car were pink. I asked to get it painted pink for Valentine's Day and do you know what he said!? NO! To me! The nerve of that man. But he offers to have my wheels chromed. Yeah, some consolation... men!

~Giggles~ Toad!!! =)


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 8, 2006)

movie...where's dinner?
Pass the Chicklets (hold the fuzz) :eat1:


----------



## Buffie (Feb 8, 2006)

Hot Blonde! Score! Thank you Sting! Heaven help me, his accent, purrrrrr...

Waitaminit...MY EYES!!! MY EYESSSSS!!! What is that next to him!? Oh geezus, who coughed up the Sheryl Crow? Can we get a mop?


----------



## Buffie (Feb 8, 2006)

No fuzz? C'mon Ghost, where's your sense of adventure!?


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 8, 2006)

I've been down that road...I turned back at kiwi.


----------



## Buffie (Feb 8, 2006)

Kiwi, now that's a fuzzy fruit. 

Dudes, these Grammys are messing with my head! Who's the siren singing with Christina Aguilera's voice!? Is that? No way, that's not Christina, is it? Can't be. Where are the leather chaps? The piercings? The crotch-less Flying Nun costume?


----------



## fatlane (Feb 8, 2006)

Hello. Guess what I found.






We're live and I don't mind Buffie shoving me off my desk at all as long as someone large and comfy lands on top of me. Since Buffie's doing the play-by-play on the Grammys and Jane's getting more chicklets ready, could I have AnnMarie or Karoline drop by? 

Thank you and WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Is it me or am I really getting shorter and furrier?


----------



## Buffie (Feb 9, 2006)

When did James Taylor get old? That's wierd. Y'know, he could still sing me the phone book... what a voice, meow!

Bob Moog died? I'm really sad now. So sad that I need a chicken sandwich. Back later... maybe. I'm really really sad. Damn you Grammys!


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 9, 2006)

And the hair-dos and hair-don'ts! 2006 is full of them. One celeb *named witheld* stated: At first I hated my haircut, but now it's growing on me. And such gorgeous teeth! My oh my! The Paparazzi got a full sentence from one of the celebrities with *Purdy Pearly Whites!* "Be true to your teeth, or they will be false to you." stated another celeb (NAME WITHHELD FOR CONFIDENTIALITY)

Now, I know what you are going to say. Seven days without a pun -- now can that make one weak? Yes it can.

I like kiwi! very tasty!


Oh yeah... in other *Taco-Related news*

Largest Taco

The largest taco in the world weighed 750 kg (1,654 lb) and measured 10.95 m (35.9 ft) long and 86 cm (33.8 in) wide. It was made by the city of Mexicali and Cocinex SA de CV, in Mexicali, Baja California, Mexico, on March 8 2003.

The taco was made up of 536.4 kg (1,182.5 lb) of grilled steak, 84.82 kg (186 lb) of dough, 81.2 kg (179 lb) of onion and 48.25 kg (106.3 lb) of cilantro. Eight grills were used to cook the meat and a staff of approximately 80 people were involved in the entire process, which lasted about six hours.

The record was broken during the 100th anniversary celebrations of the city of Mexicali.

This tidbit of knowledge was brought to you in part by this strange advertisement:

View attachment 80s_advert-Wrigleys_Spearmint_keeps_you_buzzin.jpg


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 9, 2006)

it's that gum where if you pull on it it shocks you something


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 9, 2006)

Oh no!

Robert Moog has passed away?

Moog's instruments made the first leap from the electronic avant garde, into commercial popular music. The Beatles bought one, as did Mick Jagger who bought a hugely expensive modular Moog in 1967 (unfortunately this instruments was only used once, as a prop on a film set and was later sold to the German experimentalist rockers, Tangerine Dream). 

I learned that he developed his ideas for an electronic instrument by starting out in 1961 building and selling Theremin kits and absorbing ideas about transistorised modular synthesisers from the German designer Harald Bode. 

Here's a short clip of the "unique" theramin.

http://www.obsolete.com/120_years/machines/theremin/video.html


----------



## fatlane (Feb 9, 2006)

Cancel Moog as a guest, but BOOK THAT TACO! I want to see Buffie eat it! What ratings!

She might have to make a few trips, though... We'll have to shoot it full of preservatives on day one, or have her eat it in a refrigerated compound.


----------



## Jane (Feb 9, 2006)

Buffie said:


> I think I'm going to need one of those t-shirts! Jane, it's pink-tastic!!! Can I borrow your car? I wish my car were pink. I asked to get it painted pink for Valentine's Day and do you know what he said!? NO! To me! The nerve of that man. But he offers to have my wheels chromed. Yeah, some consolation... men!
> 
> ~Giggles~ Toad!!! =)


Buffie, there was not a doubt that you were a Pink Girl already. I don't bring the shirt out for "Just Anyone." Of course you can borrow "the Caddie" it's the property of the Pinks, so any pink can check it out.

p.s. Don't tell FL, but he's a Stud Boy, as is Swampie. Ghostie is going to have to step up to the "Chicklets challenge" but I have faith.


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 9, 2006)

*YIKES*

Let me get this straight.....

"Eighty" people helped make that *SUPER TACO* and you only want "one" person to eat it?


----------



## Jane (Feb 9, 2006)

swamptoad said:


> *YIKES*
> 
> Let me get this straight.....
> 
> "Eighty" people helped make that *SUPER TACO* and you only want "one" person to eat it?


She knew the job was dangerous when she took it.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 9, 2006)

We'll make a fortune on the DVD sales alone.

The feeders will buy two copies, at least.


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 9, 2006)

DVD cases sometimes have Bonus DVDs inside also with extra stuff.

Do you want any of the follwing included: bonus dvd, commentary, trailers, behind-the-scenes, and/or in some instances also the choice of commentary during the whole film.

---back on track to taco discussion---

Beck said that Satan gave him a taco.

:SOME OF THE DETAILS:

Satan gave me a taco
And it made me really sick


----------



## fatlane (Feb 9, 2006)

Release a DVD, _sans_ extras as a bootleg version. Let's beat the street on this one. Then, in four months, release the uncut version "Too much taco for TV!".

After that, we cut a deal with Criterion for a $45 version with commentary and other distractions. Finally, the "Deluxe Edition" for $15 and people will think they're getting a bargain when, in fact, the Deluxe Edition is just the bootleg with some bonus scenes from the uncut version.


----------



## Jane (Feb 9, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Release a DVD, _sans_ extras as a bootleg version. Let's beat the street on this one. Then, in four months, release the uncut version "Too much taco for TV!".
> 
> After that, we cut a deal with Criterion for a $45 version with commentary and other distractions. Finally, the "Deluxe Edition" for $15 and people will think they're getting a bargain when, in fact, the Deluxe Edition is just the bootleg with some bonus scenes from the uncut version.


Merchandising, Merchandising, that's where all the profits come from.

Oh, it's a Profit thing.....


----------



## abluesman (Feb 9, 2006)

What are you going to use as background music for the Taco Extravaganza DVD?

May I suggest Jethro Tull -- "Locomotive Breath".


----------



## fatlane (Feb 9, 2006)

Yes, and we'll have William Hung sing it!


----------



## Buffie (Feb 9, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Cancel Moog as a guest, but BOOK THAT TACO! I want to see Buffie eat it! What ratings!
> 
> She might have to make a few trips, though... We'll have to shoot it full of preservatives on day one, or have her eat it in a refrigerated compound.



~BBBRRRUUUUURRRRRAAAAAAPPPPPPP~ :eat1: Too late, ate it. Sorry, I thought craft services dropped it off. I mean, it IS in my contract rider, so I naturally assumed... :eat2:

I'm honored to be allowed access to your sweet ride, Jane. You're totally tits in my book. But ya knew that anyway.

And now... a moment of blaring theramin in honor of the dearly departed Mr. Moog. ~wrrruuurrrrllllooooooo wrrrruuuurrrrllllooooo wrrrrrruuuurrrrrlllllooooo~


----------



## fatlane (Feb 9, 2006)

Great. All that taco and no video...

On the other hand, you're now a bajilliondy pounds, so that'll beat Dr. Phil's numbers - BOTH WAYS.

Rock.

Now let's put on a SHOW!


----------



## Buffie (Feb 9, 2006)

And now... THE KITTY SHOW!!! WHOOOO!!! ~Applause Applause Applause!~ 

View attachment incharge.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Feb 9, 2006)

Thank goodness the cat's paw is where it is or AnnMarie would have to see this thread SHUT DOWN, even if we ARE on cable...


----------



## Buffie (Feb 9, 2006)

What good is our show if they censor the p*$$y?!


----------



## Buffie (Feb 9, 2006)

Buffie said:


> What good is our show if they censor the **BLLEEEPPPP**?!



WHAA HA HA HAAAAAAH AHHHHA HAA HA HAHAAAA!!!!

Perhaps she who laughs last laughs loudest, but she who laughs first jiggles when she does it! :bow:


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 9, 2006)

Jane said:


> Buffie, there was not a doubt that you were a Pink Girl already. I don't bring the shirt out for "Just Anyone." Of course you can borrow "the Caddie" it's the property of the Pinks, so any pink can check it out.
> 
> p.s. Don't tell FL, but he's a Stud Boy, as is Swampie. Ghostie is going to have to step up to the "Chicklets challenge" but I have faith.


With thine trusty blade and steed thy shalt conquer any of your challenges!
(Bring on the fuzz)


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 9, 2006)

Buffie said:


> WHAA HA HA HAAAAAAH AHHHHA HAA HA HAHAAAA!!!!
> 
> Perhaps she who laughs last laughs loudest, but she who laughs first jiggles when she does it! :bow:


He who laughs last thinks slowest.
-Confucius:bow: 

That should be another Joke-O-Day


----------



## fatlane (Feb 9, 2006)

Who could say no to your laughing, Buffie?

The camera loves you and you love it right back!


----------



## AnnMarie (Feb 9, 2006)

Oooop, looks like the censors got at some of it.


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 9, 2006)

Goddamn commie censors...


----------



## Jane (Feb 9, 2006)

A round of Fuzzy Chicklets....bartender....out of my purse, it's behind the bar.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 9, 2006)

YAY!


----------



## Jane (Feb 9, 2006)

fatlane said:


> YAY!


I believe that is HOORAH!!!! Just to keep in character.


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 9, 2006)

just wondering...how do u change the member thing under the avatar?


----------



## fatlane (Feb 9, 2006)

Hard to keep in character with all these dang psychoactive chemicals...


----------



## Jane (Feb 9, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Hard to keep in character with all these dang psychoactive chemicals...


Tell me.....


----------



## fatlane (Feb 9, 2006)

SAUSAGE TIME!

Flashback...


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 9, 2006)

Oh no!

We might need a bigger supply of tomatoes.

View attachment fozzy.jpg


----------



## AnnMarie (Feb 9, 2006)

TH3_GH0$T said:


> just wondering...how do u change the member thing under the avatar?



Over 100 posts and over 30 rep points.


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 9, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> Over 100 posts and over 30 rep points.


Thanks.
100 posts will be a peice of cake:eat1: 
as for the rep...they'll just have to be good posts.


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 9, 2006)

Anyways, coming up I'm gonna search all over the world for the world's biggest doughnut and the biggest coffee. then annmarie and buffie can eat it, hell the rest of us might even have some. Just don't double dip...


----------



## fatlane (Feb 9, 2006)

Try this place, dude!


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 9, 2006)

now for the coffee...


----------



## fatlane (Feb 9, 2006)

These guys may have a clue or two...


----------



## Fuzzy (Feb 9, 2006)

Mmmmm.... Donut...


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 10, 2006)

Hey ...that's my line!

View attachment homer.jpg


----------



## AnnMarie (Feb 10, 2006)

TH3_GH0$T said:


> Anyways, coming up I'm gonna search all over the world for the world's biggest doughnut and the biggest coffee. then annmarie and buffie can eat it, hell the rest of us might even have some. Just don't double dip...




Okay, if you give us the donut, we're free to double dip all we want! I've met her and I'm not afraid of her cooties (in fact, I think my cooties and her cooties would get along swimmingly.)


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 10, 2006)

ok, you two can have it. I'll just get them to bake another one.
Maybe some cheese too. You can't have enough cheese.


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 10, 2006)

View attachment cheese2.gif



cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese! (your picture)


----------



## fatlane (Feb 10, 2006)

Way too much chaos... cut to a musical segment!

_Beefsteak charlie says to porky the pig
I can see the party lights
Someone's throwin' a bash and it sure looks big
Down at the slaughterhouse tonight
Say, let's get together and hit the buffet
You might as well stuff yourself
They'll only throw it away

Old colonel sanders says to elsie the cow
Golly, baby you're the one
Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce,
Pickle, cheese, onions on a sesame seed bun
Say, we just got time for a roll in the hay
Might as well stuff yourself
They've come to take you away

I know where you're going, I can tell
Don't go looking for me down in hamburger hell
Don't misunderstand me, I wish you well
Don't go looking for me down in hamburger hell_


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 10, 2006)

Say! -- Is there gonna be any dancing to that musical number? What kind?


----------



## fatlane (Feb 10, 2006)

*BHANGRA!!!*


----------



## Jane (Feb 10, 2006)

So, that Irish Waterdance thingee is out this season, huh?


----------



## fatlane (Feb 10, 2006)

Waterdance? Is that liked a dried-up version of Riverdance?


----------



## Fuzzy (Feb 10, 2006)

That's the peepee dance boys do when they need to go, but don't want to leave their Xbox game-in-progress.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 10, 2006)

Well, no, then. 

Bring on the dancing girls!


----------



## Jane (Feb 10, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Waterdance? Is that liked a dried-up version of Riverdance?


Small budget version. It's a drought, you know.


----------



## EvilPrincess (Feb 10, 2006)

Jane, the water commission just called. They are requesting a more conservative approach, "The Moisture Dance". Think Green!


----------



## Fuzzy (Feb 10, 2006)

SweatDance!


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 10, 2006)

how about we just do the conga with skantily clad women and call it a dance number? 
Save some people some sweat and/or river/water.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 10, 2006)

NO! BOLLYWOOD! WE DO BOLLYWOOD!

(Crashes around the set, stinking of MadDog 20/20)

BIG PRODUCTION NUMBERS HAI! YE BAHHUT ACHHA SHOW HAI! NAACHENGE AUR GAAYENGE, YAAR! MAIN DIWANI HOON! MERE DIL KUSHIE HAI!

(Flops around in motions vaguely suggestive of the big production numbers from "Devdas")

RE DHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLA RE!!!


----------



## AnnMarie (Feb 10, 2006)

God, not again.


----------



## Fuzzy (Feb 10, 2006)

Glass of water for Mr. Fatlane.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 10, 2006)

An ocean refuses no river...

(Staggers back to dressing room)


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 11, 2006)

Do I hear a soliloquy in the distance?


----------



## fatlane (Feb 11, 2006)

No. We shall dance in ancient veiled and masked styles, because of their exquisite beauty. Anyone who doesn't watch this show doesn't DESERVE to be counted in television ratings!


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 11, 2006)

so...no scantily clad women?


----------



## fatlane (Feb 11, 2006)

Not tonight... we save that stuff for after the Olympics.


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 11, 2006)

*Sweet*(Swet)(n)(adj):#1-the state of being totally awesome(See Awesome). ex. "That was freakin' sweet man."
#2-some other definition...something to do with taste or some s***. I don't know...


Straight out of the dictionary.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 11, 2006)

And now, an advertisement...

http://www.fatlaneonline.com/bugging.asp

Enjoy!

(Disclaimer: It is supposed to be funny. All subscriptions which result from it are unintentional and do not resemble anyone, living or dead.)


----------



## Jane (Feb 11, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> God, not again.


ROFLMAO!!!!!

I swear, I had nothing to do with the MadDog. Chicklets were my limit, and honestly, have you ever heard of anyone crashing about a set due to Chicklets? Decriminalize Chicklets......Decriminalize Chicklets.....De....they're what? They're legal? Even the fuzzy ones? Well, then....

Carry on....


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 11, 2006)

They're legal? Great. I just spit mine out.
Well...5 second rule...


----------



## fatlane (Feb 11, 2006)

I have no idea how it happened, but I woke up in an apartment belonging to a group of transvestites. The crazy thing was, they were unisex transvestites dressed up as unisex transvestites of the opposite gender.

Crazy, hazy days...


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 11, 2006)

fatlane said:


> I have no idea how it happened, but I woke up in an apartment belonging to a group of transvestites. The crazy thing was, they were unisex transvestites dressed up as unisex transvestites of the opposite gender.
> 
> Crazy, hazy days...


whoa...I'm getting dizzy...


----------



## fatlane (Feb 11, 2006)

TH3_GH0$T said:


> whoa...I'm getting dizzy...


Those chicklets are strong stuff, aren't they?


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 11, 2006)

I'll say. Especially when they've been on the ground for 5 seconds.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 11, 2006)

Drivin' that train... high on cocaine...


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 11, 2006)

He, he. Cocaine.


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 11, 2006)

Cocaine?

View attachment coke.JPG


----------



## fatlane (Feb 11, 2006)

_Lost my house
Lost my job
Lost my wife...
Cocaine..._


----------



## Jane (Feb 11, 2006)

fatlane said:


> _Lost my house
> Lost my job
> Lost my wife...
> Cocaine..._


Man, don't blame the drugs........


----------



## fatlane (Feb 11, 2006)

I'm leaving my home in Tucson, Arizona
For some California grass.


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 11, 2006)

Did you know that California Grass was used to camouflage military installations in World War II?


----------



## FatAndProud (Feb 11, 2006)

Drugs are bad mmmk.


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 11, 2006)

FatAndProud said:


> Drugs are bad mmmk.



*LOL*:doh: 

yes, indeed.


----------



## FreeThinker (Feb 12, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Drivin' that train... high on cocaine...


Cocaine cannot kill my pain
Cocaine cannot kill my pain
Cocaine cannot kill my pain
Like a freight train through my brain
Cocaine cannot kill my pain

*CCKMP*--Steve Earle

*ejected from the studio by Security*


----------



## FatAndProud (Feb 12, 2006)

I recently found out...(because I'm slow) that when cops arrest or search someone with cocaine...and they need to figure out if it is in fact cocaine...they rub it on their gums and their gums become numb...

crazy crazy cooters.

oral gel works the same way.


----------



## FreeThinker (Feb 12, 2006)

FatAndProud said:


> I recently found out...(because I'm slow) that when cops arrest or search someone with cocaine...and they need to figure out if it is in fact cocaine...they rub it on their gums and their gums become numb...
> 
> crazy crazy cooters.
> 
> oral gel works the same way.


*shouts from back of studio*

Oral Gel cannot kill my pa--*OOF!*


----------



## FatAndProud (Feb 12, 2006)

FreeThinker said:


> *shouts from back of studio*
> 
> Oral Gel cannot kill my pa--*OOF!*



Haha!!! Maybe not but it can numb other parts of their bodies besides the gums if used incorrectly..I bet that's how Loraina Bobbit did it.


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 12, 2006)

I just got back from rehab...they told me to stay away from cocaine and fuzzy chicklets. You have any fuzzy gum Jane?


----------



## fatlane (Feb 12, 2006)

Well, it's time for a really big show!

Tonight's guest: ED SULLIVAN!







With special musical guest: LAWRENCE WELK!






Aaaaaaand now... Heeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Buffiiiiiie and Fatlaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane!


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 12, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Well, it's time for a really big show!
> 
> Tonight's guest: ED SULLIVAN!
> 
> ...


(Hot obsessed teen girl)like, ohmygod, I can't believe it's them! ahhhhhhhh!! (ear shattering scream)
Can I, like, get your autographs?!?!


----------



## fatlane (Feb 12, 2006)

Of course you can, and if everyone in the audience will check under their seats, they'll see... A NEW CATCHER'S MITT!!!


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 12, 2006)

(Hot obsessed teen girl's less hot and obsessed but still very hot and obsessed freind)Like, I love baseball! And, like, where's Th3_Gh0$T? I want him to sign my butt!


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 12, 2006)

If you say so...anyone have a sharpie?


----------



## fatlane (Feb 12, 2006)

No you don't. You want a Mai Tai.


----------



## Ericthonius (Feb 12, 2006)

Oh thrills! I ruined my last catcher's mitt delivering a baby!
Oh Jeepers! I knew tonight was the night to brave the cold and wait in line at the studio to be in the audience! What a keen time! A new mitt and to be serenaded by the Great Welk! Himself! 
I wonder if the Andrews Sisters came with him?
Oh I hope that they play, "_Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree With Anyone Else But Me_"!


----------



## fatlane (Feb 12, 2006)

We got all kinds of sisters...

Andrews







Pointer






Lennon






Twisted






Wilson






We got all kinds of sisters here!


----------



## Jane (Feb 12, 2006)

TH3_GH0$T said:


> I just got back from rehab...they told me to stay away from cocaine and fuzzy chicklets. You have any fuzzy gum Jane?


Let me pick the little pieces of tobacco off and.....yes!! Yes!!! It is FUZZY GUM Time!!!!!


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 12, 2006)

:eat2: exquisite, another one for the lady with my signature on her pants...


----------



## Jane (Feb 12, 2006)

Here's another....


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 12, 2006)

...and NOW....

an up-close image of one those miniature toy surprise frisbees from the 80s

View attachment tony.jpg


----------



## FatAndProud (Feb 12, 2006)

Those frisbees were pretty frickin' cool back when I used to run...


----------



## fatlane (Feb 12, 2006)

And that's Buffie's cue... WHERE IS BUFFIE???


----------



## Buffie (Feb 13, 2006)

What?! What did I miss? Sorry for the absence... I was at dinner with some friends. Very cool friends, actually. We were laughing cuz Dick Cheney shot one of his friends today. I would never shoot my friends, though... at least most of my friends are safe. All of you are certainly safe. You guys are great. For reals.

Anyone here have a frenemy? Y'know, someone who pretends to be your friend, but they do kinda rotten stuff to you? I think there was an episode of Sex and the City about frenemies. 

Candye Kane sent an email tonight about some of her frenemies in the blues community who fault her for being sexy AND big and some of them say she puts that first place above her music. What crap! Her music is fantastic and yes, she is big and she is definately sexy and she does cool boob tricks on the piano and anyone who talks smack about her for doing so is just JEALOUS! 

How about ethics vs. morals? Anyone wanna take a swing at that? Anyone wanna take a swing at someone riding on their moral high-horse and hopefully knock em off? LOL I'll take a swing! 

Oh, one more thing... Buffalo Wild Wings is discontinuing their Thai sauce and I, for one, think it's criminal.

I see a hater took us down to 4 stars, too. Took ya a while, since we made it to 6 pages with 5 stars. Buffie knows who did it, though. I absolutely know who and I find it pretty funny. Hey, it's alright. If you were here right now, I'd lick your face and make you smile, even though you don't wanna smile. But I'd do that for you, because I want you to have a good time! That's just one of the many services we offer here.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 13, 2006)

I try not to make friends with anyone, so I can justifiably mistrust the entire world. I have, sadly, made friends, so that makes me an utter and worthless failure should I choose to cling to that twisted view of the cosmos. Which I don't.

Yes, Jealousy MUST be in play! Heaven knows *I* wish I had boobs like that. Then again, I'd never get anything done!

I think it's ethically wrong to assume those who claim a moral high ground will always behave ethically. Morally speaking, that is.

I just read that as "morally spanking". Now I have IDEAS. Yummy.

And to help Buffie, we must now schedule a location shoot in Thailand. What day is good for you, Buff-o-meister-tron?


----------



## Buffie (Feb 13, 2006)

Any day is a good day for going to Thailand, Fatlane. 

I'm jealous of you because you've got crazy fly arteestic skillz AND you live in one of my most favorite-ist cities. Lucky dawg. 

You saw Moral Spanking and I saw Nick Nolte in your avatar. We're hallucinating in stereo! Sweet!

Guess what... y'all are gonna be jealous of me cuz I've still got onion rings to finish!!! Hee hee hee!!! YUM-ion rings, that is.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 13, 2006)

Grrrr! I MUST HAVE THOSE ONION RINGS!!!

Where'd you get them from?


----------



## Jane (Feb 13, 2006)

The onion rings at Buffalo Wild Wings are darn good!!!!


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 13, 2006)

View attachment main_logo.jpg


Buffalo Wild Wings

BASKET O ONION RINGS

Our large portion of crispy beer-battered onion rings fried to a golden brown, served with our Southwestern Ranch dressing

Can we use the grill also?

Let's have a cookout!

View attachment grill2.JPG


----------



## fatlane (Feb 13, 2006)

DAMN YOU WINTER SNOWSTORMS IN THE NORTHEAST!

Then again, less winter for the rest of us!


----------



## Buffie (Feb 13, 2006)

Jane said:


> The onion rings at Buffalo Wild Wings are darn good!!!!



Ohhhhhmmmmmiiiiigaaaawwwwwdddddduuuuuhhhh are they ever, Jane. :eat2:

The first BWW I visited was on NW Expressway in OKC and it soon became a second home, especially on Tuesdays and Wednesdays when there were cheap wings and legs. Now there's a BWW even CLOSER to my KC home and oddly enough, I don't make it there nearly as often as I did when I lived back home. C'est la vie. This is the land of BBQ and my poor Thai wings get put on the back burner way too often. (It's no coincidence that BBQ, BWW and BBW share some letters.)

Ah, the onion rings. Knock the ice of that grill, Toadiekins... there hasn't been a snowstorm yet that propane couldn't remedy. 

Fatlane, next time I snag a basket o'rings, I'll toss some your direction. LOL Get it?! Get it!??! Ring Toss!!!  

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this IS what happens to your brain when you accidentally inhale too much hairspray as a teenager.


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 13, 2006)

So.........

BTW, a BBW can take her BMW to BWW and have some BBQ
becuz BAM! they are good. (more letter-sharing)


----------



## fatlane (Feb 13, 2006)

Ring toss. I love it! Let's make it a weekly segment!


----------



## Buffie (Feb 13, 2006)

You're so keen! I dig! =) Nice mastery of the alphabet! Happy V-Day, Swaptoad! 

~To the hater who keeps knocking down the rating... PM me and just get it out of your system, lawd. Let's have a chat. Tell me what's really bothering you. I already know, but tell me again, anyway.~


----------



## Buffie (Feb 13, 2006)

*Idea* We could have an M&M Ring Toss... Karoline could booty bump giant M&Ms through a hoola hoop. Every time she scores, I'll eat a taco. Sound good? Yes? Yes, I think so, too.


----------



## Buffie (Feb 13, 2006)

Sugars to the sweetness who bumped us back up to 4 stars! You're a darlin and I hope Cupid is good to you tomorrow! SMOOCH!


----------



## Jane (Feb 13, 2006)

Buffie said:


> Ohhhhhmmmmmiiiiigaaaawwwwwdddddduuuuuhhhh are they ever, Jane. :eat2:
> 
> The first BWW I visited was on NW Expressway in OKC and it soon became a second home, especially on Tuesdays and Wednesdays when there were cheap wings and legs.


Buffie, that's the one I go to!!!!!!


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 13, 2006)

*YaY*

Ring Tosses, the ever-rewarding Taco, and 

G i G a N t I c

M & M s 

getting bumped, bumped, bumped.....

inside the.....

View attachment 187326SDC.jpg



I am also .....pondering why Jane is MIA ?&#191;?&#191;?


----------



## Jane (Feb 13, 2006)

swamptoad said:


> *YaY*
> 
> Ring Tosses, the ever-rewarding Taco, and
> 
> ...



Where is the Grail?????


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 13, 2006)

grail? 
I want a gigantic grail with gigantic m&ms...mmm:eat2:
In fact, I'll eat the m&ms when Karoline makes it through the hoop.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 13, 2006)

Wow... looking at psychedelia and listening to the Beatles, John Lennon, and The Grateful Dead... our next guest will be Horatio Sanz and we'll try and summon up Timothy Leary's ghost.

Musical guest will be a reunion of Austin, Texas' infamous 13th Floor Elevators. Slip into this house and you will find a show tonight to absolutely blow your mind!


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 13, 2006)

Musical Guests! *hand claps*

what kinda dancing can we do?

Can I mosh!?!?!?

oh yeah.... _that_ picture sorta reminded me of _this_:

View attachment wonder.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Feb 14, 2006)

Mosh to psychedelia? 

Hmmm....

I don't think that'll be a good idea. You might stomp on the hippies in the front.


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 14, 2006)

This picture is from the Gallery of Psychedelic Sketches & Diary Pages by 

Hans Taeger 

- from the early 70's. 

This picture reminds me of Valentines Day:

View attachment love.jpg



I've decided not to mosh, afterall. *hehehe*


----------



## FatAndProud (Feb 14, 2006)

*drops acid*

Groooovy man.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 14, 2006)

swamptoad said:


> This picture is from the Gallery of Psychedelic Sketches & Diary Pages by
> 
> Hans Taeger
> 
> ...



Dude. Where's the picture?


----------



## FatAndProud (Feb 14, 2006)

It's there...I see it. It reminds me of one of those Tropical Women with the tall fruit hats or something. haha


----------



## Ericthonius (Feb 15, 2006)

FatAndProud said:


> It's there...I see it. It reminds me of one of those Tropical Women with the tall fruit hats or something. haha



I see it too! I guess this was the inspiration for the, "*Carmen Miranda Warning*?" As in,"You have the right to remain psychedelic, the right to wear fruit on your head and to have Xavier Cugat lead the band at your Bar Mitzvah. Do you understand these rights as I've explained them to you? Will you now get off the ceiling of your own volition?"


----------



## Jane (Feb 15, 2006)

Ericthonius said:


> I see it too! I guess this was the inspiration for the, "*Carmen Miranda Warning*?" As in,"You have the right to remain psychedelic, the right to wear fruit on your head and to have Xavier Cugat lead the band at your Bar Mitzvah. Do you understand these rights as I've explained them to you? Will you now get off the ceiling of your own volition?"


OMG!!! And here I thought.....but I believe you have the right interpretation.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 15, 2006)

I'm over here with Shaquille Mendeleev, the father of way-out chemistry.


----------



## Jane (Feb 15, 2006)

Who's our next guest/victim?


----------



## fatlane (Feb 15, 2006)

OH CRAP THERE'S A SHOW TONIGHT!!!

Totally forgot it.... ahhhh... start calling around... see who you can find.... uhhhh... maybe someone's walking by or on the soundstage next door...

LET'S MOVE PEOPLE! IM STARTING TO FORGET MY PUNCTUATION


----------



## Jane (Feb 15, 2006)

Sorry, FL the only ones I found were:

1) Larry King
2) Jerry Springer and
3) Kate Moss

Fortunately, Kate has agreed to a pie eating contest.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 15, 2006)

Excellent! We'll run with all three! 

Do Springer or King want in on the pie?


----------



## Jane (Feb 15, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Excellent! We'll run with all three!
> 
> Do Springer or King want in on the pie?


King wants to simply look at the pie (all those bypass surgeries)
Jerry Springer wants to interview it.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 15, 2006)

OK, so we'll have Karoline and Buffie take on Moss. Loser gets to clean out the funk under my toenails.

ON STAGE, EVERYONE!!!


----------



## Jane (Feb 15, 2006)

Moss is backstage crying. Buffie and Karoline look so much better than she does, she just broke down.

I hope I wasn't out of line, but I gave her a Fuzzy Chicklet. And a Twinkie.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 15, 2006)

(Kate Moss staggers out on the stage and dives into the pile of pies...)

ROLL FILM! We'll put this bit in after the monologue! Buffie! Karoline! Hit the pie! LET'S MOVE!

Best. Show. Ever.


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 16, 2006)

*LOOKS*

*GASPS*


......ponders what kinda dive was that?.....

:shocked:


----------



## fatlane (Feb 16, 2006)

Magic, I tell ya! Double our ad rates!


----------



## Jane (Feb 16, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Magic, I tell ya! Double our ad rates!


We're are already sold half way through next season...


----------



## fatlane (Feb 16, 2006)

THEN TRIPLE THEM AND RE-BOOK THE ADS!

Ka-ching!


----------



## Jane (Feb 16, 2006)

I guess this means we boot all the Public Service Announcements, too, since they're free!!!!!


----------



## fatlane (Feb 16, 2006)

Gone! We only take _private_ service announcements!


----------



## Buffie (Feb 16, 2006)

Jane said:


> Buffie, that's the one I go to!!!!!!




No it's NOT! Get right outta town. I knew I liked you. You're an Okie! Jane, you RULE!


----------



## fatlane (Feb 16, 2006)

Musical guest tonight: MERLE HAGGARD!


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 16, 2006)

Oh Sweet! 

He plays the very first electric guitar that I learned how to play --- the Fender Telecaster. Mine was black with a white pick guard, though.

View attachment fender.jpg


RATINGS RATINGS RATINGS

Ladies and Gentlemen!

It's.....

View attachment Hag-upclose.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Feb 16, 2006)

THE BUFFIE AND FATLANE SHOW!!!

Boy, how about them Abu Ghraib pics... they keep showing up... it's like someone keeps raiding Dick Cheney's porn collection! (rimshot)

I mean, come on! If we want to see that sort of thing, we'll go to the paysite ourselves! (rimshot)

AND I'M JUST GETTIN' STARTED HERE!!!


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 16, 2006)

Aren't those rimshots known to frighten small children in the audience....or perhaps those children will get a kick out of it! heh.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 16, 2006)

This ain't no kid's show...

... AND I'M NOT PUTTIN' YOU ON!!!


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 16, 2006)

....Well ya know what! Some of those kids must've snuck in.:doh: 

What are we going to have to do with the meddlesome kids that are monkeying around in the balcony, eh?


----------



## fatlane (Feb 16, 2006)

Throw dead geese at them.


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 16, 2006)

Those geese are mighty heavy to chunk so far and high!

Lets use the one of the stage props.....now where is that catapult and does it actually work?

Oh please...I can't go through with this....this is just going to be tooooo messy! can we try something else???

Someone get Gallagher....

Let him smash some fruit and see how far it goes....

He can aim into the balcony, for sure!!!


----------



## Buffie (Feb 16, 2006)

And now... arriving LIVE on our set... THE PENISMOBILE!!!! 

View attachment 003147Penismobile.jpg


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 16, 2006)

Oh my stars!!!

Has the driver fallen asleep???


----------



## Jane (Feb 17, 2006)

FL, Buffie, I've booked Oklahoma Senator Tom Coburn on to explain why he considers "Schindler's List" dirty, and how pictures of the dead, naked bodies turn him on. I kid you not. He considers Schindler's List obscene, and the man is an ob/gyn by trade.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 17, 2006)

Goes right there with the odd vehicle Buffie located... Looks like we're headed for cable, though...


----------



## Jane (Feb 17, 2006)

Odd? She just borrowed one of the ones in my garage.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 17, 2006)

We're headed for SCRAMBLED cable...


----------



## bigcutiekaroline (Feb 20, 2006)

Can i ride in the penis mobile???? Please....I promise to be gentle with it......lol


----------



## Jane (Feb 20, 2006)

You can have the keys to penismobile #2 anytime.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 20, 2006)

I am SO not getting into that thing! No way!


----------



## Buffie (Feb 21, 2006)

I only have one request... do *I* get to drive the PenisMobile?!


----------



## fatlane (Feb 21, 2006)

That's it! I'm taking a VACATION this week!

Unless you can find a legmobile. And I want it to be a _stocky_ car, too.


----------



## Buffie (Feb 21, 2006)

Hee hee... he made a car joke! Stocky car!!! Ha ha haaa!!!!!


----------



## Buffie (Feb 21, 2006)

It was a double joke, too!!! A car joke AND a leg joke! Clever... very clever!


----------



## fatlane (Feb 21, 2006)

That one's a keeper, for sure.

Coming up next: Tesla coils and Van der Graaf generators in a shocking series of electrifying revelations! Don't touch that clicker!


----------



## Jane (Feb 21, 2006)

Buffie, Fatlane, all, I think you should have the studio audience look under their seats. We have keys to penismobiles for everyone in the cast, crew, and audience. (Take THAT Oprah)

And FL's request is in the parking lot.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 21, 2006)

Hey Moe! I've got a leg up! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!


----------



## Buffie (Feb 22, 2006)

And here's Buffie with an Off-Topic Non-Sense Interjection... 

Hey Fatlane, your flip-off picture RULES!!! 
My girlz, YOU rule.
Everyone else, You also Rule!

What rules especially much this evening? I just reserved a room for Misse, Max and me-self in Vegas BABY!!! Yeah!


----------



## Fuzzy (Feb 22, 2006)

What flip-off picture?


----------



## Buffie (Feb 22, 2006)

In the Hey Artist thread... kinda back there, not a new thread, but I just saw it today and it's Fab! LOL


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 22, 2006)

"Hello....Hello...Hello"


----------



## fatlane (Feb 22, 2006)

It's one way to deal with... stress...


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 22, 2006)

"I'm a knucklehead ... and I'm PROUD!"

(Well, soitanly -- nyuck, nyuck!)

View attachment PPCandlesticks.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Feb 22, 2006)

Coming up next: Three guys with funny haircuts who seem to nevertheless bag all the classy dolls. Don't go away!


----------



## Jane (Feb 22, 2006)

I'm over here busy doing the Curly Shuffle.


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 22, 2006)

That Curly Shuffle is tough to do Jane! 

You gotta do something like flip your left leg back, then use that momentum to slide the right foot back along on the floor. There's use of lots of momentum. I imagine it takes lots of practice.


----------



## Jane (Feb 22, 2006)

swamptoad said:


> That Curly Shuffle is tough to do Jane!
> 
> You gotta do something like flip your left leg back, then use that momentum to slide the right foot back along on the floor. There's use of lots of momentum. I imagine it takes lots of practice.


Didn't say I was doing a good job, or that I was upright. LOL


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 22, 2006)

|||----|||||||||-|||----
|||----|||---|||-|||----
|||----|||---|||-|||----
|||----|||---|||-|||----
|||----|||---|||-|||----
||||||-|||||||||-||||||-


----------



## fatlane (Feb 22, 2006)

Curly! Shut up and shuffle!

I'll deal.


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 22, 2006)

Poker?! I want to play.

*Puts on poker face and lights a cigar*


----------



## fatlane (Feb 22, 2006)

Seven card stud. Nothing wild. Ever. $5 ante, three raise limit, $50 limit per raise.

(Deals down cards...)


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 22, 2006)

*throws in $5*


----------



## fatlane (Feb 22, 2006)

Two down and TH3_GH0$T gets a seven... Buffie's got an eight... Karoline's got the Jack... Cowboy for Jane... Swamp's got a five... dealer gets a nine. 

Jane, you got high card. What's your open?


----------



## Jane (Feb 22, 2006)

$20.00 to open.


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 22, 2006)

*sighs and throws in $20*


----------



## Buffie (Feb 22, 2006)

Who's winning? Am I winning? I need shoes. Strappy leather platform sandal shoes with a stacked heel.

The first person to post a pic of fabulous strappy leather platform sandals with a stacked heel wins a free ride in the PenisMobile.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 26, 2006)

Incentive for me to NOT hit Google Image search.

Call. Next card... TH3_GH0$T gets a three of clubs, no help there... Buffie's got another eight... nice pair, Buffie... Karoline gets a four, same suit as the Jack... Ace of hearts for Jane... Swamp's got a Jack of hearts... dealer gets a deuce.

Buffie to open this round.


----------



## Fuzzy (Feb 26, 2006)

*wanders thru.. loooking for a hidden honey stash...*


----------



## fatlane (Feb 26, 2006)

You want us to deal you in on the next hand there?


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 26, 2006)

Whoooa...w-where the 'ell am I...? What page is this? Oh...Whaddi miss?


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 26, 2006)

Oh! *is somehow instantly not drunk anymore and picks up his cards*


----------



## fatlane (Feb 26, 2006)

*looks around to see any cracks in the poker faces while waiting for Buffie to bet*


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 27, 2006)

*raises left eyebrow dramatically in Buffies direction*


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 27, 2006)

*steps away from the table and then proceeds to stick chewing gum (without being noticed by any of the players) on a hidden video camera that was recording everybody the whole time* 

..Zzzzzz... ---> the security personnel who are supposed to be watching the video camera are also NOW surprisingly asleep. 

< ahem >

*coughs*

Lets play cards!!!

I'm betting this rare and authentic Buffalo Nickel.


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 27, 2006)

*Turns arched eyebrow to swamp* I'll see your nickle...and raise you a-*pauses for dramatic effect*-nother nickle.


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 27, 2006)

*pulls out a magnifying glass*

Glances at your nickel....

*pauses*

hmmmmm...... studies the nickel .....

Other players glance in my direction and ....*wide-eyed and all at once hold their breath.*

Yes, I'll see your Nickel!

Fatlane wipes sweat from his forehead ...and *all at once the players slowlly exhale.*

The love fern, which is not too far away, photosynthesizes.

I'll raise you *reaches into pocket* this bottle cap for a free 1 liter sprite.


----------



## Jane (Feb 27, 2006)

Gets haughty that she lost the lead just so FL could make a "Nice Pair" joke about Buffie.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 27, 2006)

Nickels? What are you, CHIPMUNKS???


----------



## Jane (Feb 27, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Nickels? What are you, CHIPMUNKS???


I think it's a homage.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 27, 2006)

Homage? Is that a massive tribute or does it mean they're just happy to see me?


----------



## Jane (Feb 27, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Homage? Is that a massive tribute or does it mean they're just happy to see me?


BOTH!!!! One would wish.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 27, 2006)

Good thing I'm not a homagephobe.


----------



## Jane (Feb 27, 2006)

Fer Shure!!!!


----------



## Buffie (Feb 27, 2006)

Exactly what are you and your eyebrow trying to say, Ghost? I think Jane and Fatlane and Swamptoad are up to something, all that nickel talk. Secret code, I just know it.

I forgot... are we playing Go Fish or Slap Jack? 

Tonight, on my way home from work, I saw with my very own eyes and less than 30 feet away from me, the thing I which would make my life complete... a Pink Porsche. The color of MAC's Petunia Frost nail polish, old school 911, targa top. Hot. 

~Waves to Fuzzy~

Raise your hand if you're so glad to see New Wave return to the music scene!


----------



## Jane (Feb 27, 2006)

Gives Buffie a big ol' hug!!!!


----------



## Buffie (Feb 27, 2006)

Awww, thanks Jane! That's so generous of you! I probably don't deserve hugs, as I'm a spoiled pain in the a$$... but thank you!!!


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 27, 2006)

*turns brow back to Buffie (dramaticly, of course) awaiting her bet*


----------



## fatlane (Feb 27, 2006)

Let's have a lottery, then, with first prize: a pink Porsche!

Whaddya say to that, Buffiesteress?


----------



## Buffie (Feb 27, 2006)

I bet the farm! (Always wanted to say that, thanks for the opportunity Ghost.)

Lottery, those are ohkay, but I always forget to check my numbers. Can't you just GIVE me the car? Who else would want it?


----------



## Jane (Feb 27, 2006)

She got one of the penismobiles.....geez, are you never satisified girl?

Have I told you I want "I Can't Get No (Satisfaction)" played at my funeral?


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 27, 2006)

your welcome.
And she's got a point there^^
Oh wait, maybe AnnMarie would want it.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 27, 2006)

We do a lottery so everyone else buys a ticket to go towards buying the Porsche, then we RIG the lottery so you win and then you do a free set of you driving in your pink Porsche so as to distract everyone from our rigging the lotto.

Simple, no?


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 27, 2006)

supurbley awesome plan...


----------



## fatlane (Feb 27, 2006)

Which part, the rigged lottery or the free picture set?


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 27, 2006)

all of it...except you need to fit me getting some m&m's in there somewhere.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 28, 2006)

See Karoline for the M&M concession.


----------



## Jane (Feb 28, 2006)

Why does the plot of "A Simple Plan" keep running through my mind?


----------



## fatlane (Feb 28, 2006)

Because I look like Tom Paxton on a bad day?


----------



## Jane (Feb 28, 2006)

I see which you chose to look like out of the male leads. ROFL

Billy Bob is one scruffy character in that one.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 28, 2006)

OK, so I look like Billy Bob Thornton on a bad day...


----------



## Jane (Feb 28, 2006)

Don't we all.

Okay, good Billy Bob, with his old weight vs bad Billy Bob weighing the 120 pounds he seems to weigh now....no blood vial...damn, you know, I do look better than Billy Bob. WHOO HOO!!!


----------



## fatlane (Feb 28, 2006)

Actually, I look like BBT in _The Apostle_. Man, I love that movie!


----------



## Buffie (Feb 28, 2006)

Hey ya'll... what the wierdest word you heard today?

In other news, the Pink Porsche owner called me back today (I left my number in his car). It's cherry and he doesn't want to sell... and the car was also owned by a doctor whom I loathe. Bad mojo. He can keep his pink death trap. I'll stick with the kitty-mobile for now.

For a skinny chick, Lisa Loeb is about the cutest thing ever.

Name 4 things you'll do next week that will probably embarass your parents.

Kisses!


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 28, 2006)

weirdest word...I'd have to say F***tard. It's like saying "you f***in' retard" in one word. pretty sweet.


----------



## Buffie (Feb 28, 2006)

That's one of my FAVORITE words, Ghost. As Fatlane will tell you, I collect swears. They're more useful than most people think. Bad habits give people character and since I don't smoke and I don't drink enough to be considered a drinker, I curse instead. Not always at inappropriate moments, but whenever possible. LOL It's fun to let them rip and make holier-than-thou people feel uncomfortable and it reminds me that I don't take myself too seriously. Foul language is an underrated art.


----------



## Chimpi (Feb 28, 2006)

What about foul language in front of children that you did not realize were there?
I fall under that spell all too often back in my repair shop. A common trait for people to practice in a repair shop, the ever so popular swear words.
Shitballs is my alltime favorite. *looks and sees a 5 year old*
"S***!!!!!!!!!!"

Hoah to Buffie for support the use of those ever so popular words!!

... They're just words! People can take them in however they wish to. If someone were to call me a "Mother F***er" I would look at them and hear "I'm a retard, pardon my insults that do not offend a baby"...
Or something corny like that.


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Feb 28, 2006)

Rolf...^^ 
what would you recomend for a good insult then?


----------



## Chimpi (Feb 28, 2006)

Intelligent remarks usually get to me...
When someone has the knowledge to know how to really dig deep. Otherwise, you're just clawing at a Steel Door.
Those are the best!!
Or... just use a french accent...
"MOZAIR SZYUCKAIR"
Pronounce it just like that


----------



## fatlane (Mar 1, 2006)

I prefer hot, steaming piles of vengeance-filled curses. I really get a kick out of making someone's blood run cold as I tell him how I'm gonna crucify him upside down and rip his eyes out so I can use them in a ping-pong game his mother will be forced to watch as she's tied down in a chair over a fire ant pile. We will pour one jar of honey on her every time a point is scored.

Then I get serious.


----------



## Jane (Mar 1, 2006)

Ah, I see others utilize my verbal 2x4.

I find the old ones are the best. 

I especially love to launch into the pompous ones who think "Profanity is the sign of a small vocabulary." ..... No, actually I have a vast vocabulary of profanities, but thank you for asking.


----------



## fatlane (Mar 1, 2006)

www.insultmonger.com has the best insults and the worst pop-ups.


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Mar 1, 2006)

Vaya al infierno Marica No sirves para nada Mierda Pequena *and* Hacete coger *while* Tu puta madre me la chupa!
lol. Swearsaurus.


----------



## Fuzzy (Mar 1, 2006)

But why is the rum gone?


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Mar 1, 2006)

rum...? whyy is the rum gone? I drank it alll thatsss whyy...stand up and figh... *passes out*


----------



## fatlane (Mar 1, 2006)

You want some gin, rummy?


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Mar 1, 2006)

*mutters something about a bar fight and twitches*


----------



## Buffie (Mar 2, 2006)

Tears are rolling down my face I am laughing so hard! I luv swear stories. Chimpi, way to go for the most un-PC swearing practice of all... involving minors! LOL 

Fuzzy, adore ADORE your avatar. 

Fatlane, Jane, Ghost, how goes? Well? Yes? Mmmgood.

Idol predictions? Anyone?


----------



## fatlane (Mar 2, 2006)

I predict Terry will use the idol this week or next to get immunity.


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Mar 4, 2006)

*wakes up* I goes fine, thanks for asking Buffie.


----------



## fatlane (Mar 4, 2006)

Man, we got pre-empted by NCAA Basketball.

Nuts.


----------



## Buffie (Mar 5, 2006)

Morning, Ghost. 

Basketball!? Fatlane, bummer, dang.

Kinda feeling blah today... So I'm going to fix it with retail therapy later. But before I do, I would like to say that you folks are really nice. This is probably like the longest thread ever to NOT involve a fight or a major disagreement. We just can't have that.

~Shoves Fatlane~ Whacha gonna do bout it? Huh? ~Poke Poke~ 
Where's Karoline? I'm taking her M&Ms! Ha! She'll definately wanna tangle over that. Haaa ha ha ha haaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Mar 5, 2006)

We deserve a pat on the back. And Maybe a page in the book of world records....
--but to get back on subject--
M&M's...we took them already didn't we precious...all ours...
*pokes Fatlane*


----------



## Jane (Mar 5, 2006)

Having a GREAT weekend. Now going to brunch (but as I tell my friend, when it's at noon, it's not friggin brunch, it's lunch).


----------



## Buffie (Mar 5, 2006)

Where ya gonna eat, Jane? Leah's Skyline over on 1-35 and SE 15th... one of the best greasy-spoon diners in all of OKC. Just a suggestion.


----------



## Chimpi (Mar 5, 2006)

TH3_GH0$T said:


> We deserve a pat on the back. And Maybe a page in the book of world records....
> --but to get back on subject--
> M&M's...we took them already didn't we precious...all ours...
> *pokes Fatlane*



HEY!!! THOSE ARE MY M&M'S YOU MOZAIR SUCKAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GIVE THEM BACK!!!
*runs after Th3_GH0$T*


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Mar 5, 2006)

Nasty, filthy Hobbitses, they trys to take it from us. We won't let them, will we precious? No, no tricksey Hobbitses is getting our M&Ms. We keep them nice and safe. GOLLUM!


----------



## Jane (Mar 5, 2006)

Buffie said:


> Where ya gonna eat, Jane? Leah's Skyline over on 1-35 and SE 15th... one of the best greasy-spoon diners in all of OKC. Just a suggestion.


We ended up at Ingrid's Kitchen at Villa and NW 36th. They have a brunch that has both their breakfast and lunch stuff, so whatever someone is in the mood for, they can munch down. Good food. Plus, my friend paid!!!!!

We will try Leah's someday.


----------



## fatlane (Mar 5, 2006)

Dude. How's this for random science?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lake_Vostok

Wow.


----------



## Buffie (Mar 6, 2006)

Random Swoon of the Day...

The singer for The All American Rejects.

Holy Moses on a Pogo Stick that guy is ***HOT*** !!!

If I could afford to hire a cabana boy, he's currently at the top of the list.
In your fake life, who's your cabana boy?


----------



## fatlane (Mar 6, 2006)

I will gladly lend my fantasy cabana boy to you, Buffie, as I really don't need a cabana _boy._


----------



## Buffie (Mar 6, 2006)

TWO cabana boys!? I get TWO? Sweet! Now I have a driver, too. For that, Fatlane, you get a cabana girl, an extra large bag of Karoline-bait... errr... M&Ms and a pimped out '71 Buick Riviera Boattail.


----------



## fatlane (Mar 6, 2006)

A cabana girl? How about a cabana woman, so I don't get in trouble with the feds?

And because women can tend to be more... zaftig...


----------



## swamptoad (Mar 6, 2006)

Somebody say........


M & M s ?¿?¿?¿?

View attachment mnmsline.gif


----------



## fatlane (Mar 6, 2006)

No. They did not. Move along, son.


----------



## Buffie (Mar 6, 2006)

Purr purr purrr.... "Move Along" is an All American Rejects song and the video is a one way ticket to dreamy-boy-town. MMMMEEEEOOOOWWWW!!!!


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Mar 7, 2006)

fatlane said:


> No. They did not. Move along, son.


The government can't hold us down forever! Power to M&Ms! Peace in Nam!


----------



## swamptoad (Mar 7, 2006)

*YaY* M&Ms!!!!

View attachment main_top_right.gif


----------



## fatlane (Mar 7, 2006)

I am _so_ not a crook. The people of this board need to trust their Fatlane and, well, your Fatlane is _not_ a crook.


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Mar 7, 2006)

That's what they all say...commie!


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Mar 7, 2006)

*audience gasps*


----------



## fatlane (Mar 8, 2006)

Takes one to know one... IVAN!!!


----------



## Buffie (Mar 8, 2006)

Random Brag of the Day...

Misse and Buffie and our adorable skinny friend have DEPECHE MODE TICKETS! We're AWESSSSSOME!


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Mar 8, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Takes one to know one... IVAN!!!


*audience gasps again*


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Mar 8, 2006)

another random brag....
THIS IS MY 100TH POST!!!!!!!!


----------



## Buffie (Mar 8, 2006)

Congratulations, Gh0$t!!! YAY!!! 100 hugs to you!


----------



## fatlane (Mar 8, 2006)

Man, when I hit 4000 posts... WHOO-HOO!!!


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Mar 8, 2006)

:shocked: that's gonna be a party!


----------



## Buffie (Mar 8, 2006)

My funky number cool posts I hit all in the last month... first, it was 350 which is the engine that was in my '70 Camaro RS. Then it was 362, which was my current weight that week. After that, 420. ~evil grin~ Most recently 440, which is the engine in Max's Mopar and just yesterday, 442 and my '69 Olds has 442 stripes, even though it's only a Cutlass S.


----------



## fatlane (Mar 8, 2006)

TH3_GH0$T said:


> :shocked: that's gonna be a party!



Available ONLY on Pay-Per-View!


----------



## Fuzzy (Mar 9, 2006)

Damn. I need to get the Dish.


----------



## Jane (Mar 9, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Available ONLY on Pay-Per-View!


I hope you've noticed, FL, since we now have a place and permission to hijack threads, we never do.

Where is the passion?


----------



## fatlane (Mar 9, 2006)

Well, I've been busy.


----------



## Buffie (Mar 12, 2006)

I have Depeche Mode tickets... just in case anyone forgot.


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Mar 12, 2006)

Ratings are at an all time low people! We need to find a way to get more viewers...perhaps more M&M's...I've got it, A celebrity guest!


----------



## Jane (Mar 12, 2006)

Ed Harris is our celebrity guest this week....hot off the Daily Show.


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Mar 12, 2006)

nice...now for more M&M's


----------



## bigcutiekaroline (Mar 12, 2006)

Dammit people...stopped touching my M & M's! Put them down Buffie...nice and slow....easy now.....don't want to spill them.......I am not afraid to use my superhero powers .........
Damn......you people are in so much trouble....teasing and taunting me ........
I am going to go sit over here and eat the M & M 's till I can think of what I am going to do with you all........one at a time.....starting with Fatlane...I know he is behind all of this........and then there is that Ghost.....I ain't afraid of no Ghosts.....
And Buffie???? You are nto getting off lightly either........

:eat1: :eat1: :eat1: :eat1: :eat1: :eat1: :eat1: :eat1: 
Still thinking........


----------



## Fuzzy (Mar 12, 2006)

Mmmmmm..... Chocolate...


----------



## fatlane (Mar 13, 2006)

Shock-o-lot. Say "shock-o-lot". That way, people think we're gonna have Johnny Depp on to talk about his latest movie, "Chocolat II: The REVENGE!"


----------



## Buffie (Mar 13, 2006)

bigcutiekaroline said:


> Dammit people...stopped touching my M & M's! Put them down Buffie...nice and slow....easy now.....don't want to spill them.......I am not afraid to use my superhero powers .........
> Damn......you people are in so much trouble....teasing and taunting me ........
> I am going to go sit over here and eat the M & M 's till I can think of what I am going to do with you all........one at a time.....starting with Fatlane...I know he is behind all of this........and then there is that Ghost.....I ain't afraid of no Ghosts.....
> And Buffie???? You are nto getting off lightly either........
> ...



!!! But Karoline! I have Depeche Mode tickets! 
:shocked:


----------



## fatlane (Mar 13, 2006)

Erm...

Depeche Mode sucks. Sorry, had to say that.

Hey, kids, how about a fireworks spectacular!


----------



## Buffie (Mar 13, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Erm...
> 
> Depeche Mode sucks. Sorry, had to say that.




*BLASPHEMY!!!!!!!*


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Mar 13, 2006)

Oooohhhh...fireworks...
Is that Disneyland?


----------



## bigcutiekaroline (Mar 13, 2006)

Fuzzy said:


> Mmmmmm..... Chocolate...


Fuzzy I am not afraid to use my weight advantage to protect what's mine.......let yu be warned!!!!! :bow:


----------



## bigcutiekaroline (Mar 13, 2006)

Buffie said:


> !!! But Karoline! I have Depeche Mode tickets!
> :shocked:


You take me and I will share....those are the conditions....
psstttt....Buffie....I hear fatlane might be the one who sucks......shhhhhhh


----------



## fatlane (Mar 14, 2006)

I will show you GOOD music!






DJ TIESTO!!!


----------



## swamptoad (Mar 14, 2006)

*Yay*

I wanna hear...

"Adagio for Strings"


----------



## fatlane (Mar 14, 2006)

_(throws on some fat beats and dope rhythms...)_


----------



## bigcutiekaroline (Mar 14, 2006)

Buffie I think Fatshoulders is ignoring us....what do you think?????


----------



## fatlane (Mar 14, 2006)

I am not ignoring you. You guys have just been off at the concert all this time while I was WORKING.


----------



## bigcutiekaroline (Mar 14, 2006)

oh shit.....Wow...did I have a good time??? 
Someone has to work..........


----------



## swamptoad (Mar 14, 2006)

Let's all share some M&M's.....

View attachment minis.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Mar 14, 2006)

bigcutiekaroline said:


> oh shit.....Wow...did I have a good time???
> Someone has to work..........


And where's Buffie? Hung over? 

Does she have any idea how _impossible_ it is to find a stand-in actress with a body like hers? Hair, we can match. Wigs are fantastic these days. But bodies? Forget about it...


----------



## bigcutiekaroline (Mar 14, 2006)

swamptoad said:


> Let's all share some M&M's.....
> 
> View attachment 4430


Swamptoad are you trying to kill me.....
I am having palpatations....i don't know if it is because people are touching my M&M's or if it is just due to the picture of them........


----------



## bigcutiekaroline (Mar 14, 2006)

fatlane said:


> And where's Buffie? Hung over?
> 
> Does she have any idea how _impossible_ it is to find a stand-in actress with a body like hers? Hair, we can match. Wigs are fantastic these days. But bodies? Forget about it...


She's hanging but will be here.....we may need a bit more time in Makeup this am .....You know she would enver let you down.


----------



## fatlane (Mar 14, 2006)

Well, if she keeps this absenteeism up, she'll let me down.


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Mar 15, 2006)

swamptoad said:


> Let's all share some M&M's.....
> 
> View attachment 4430


that looks so good...:eat2:


----------



## Chimpi (Mar 15, 2006)

I once ate an entire bag of M&M's.
It gave me a great feeling of non-hunger.
I was so pleased with thy-self.
I went and bought another bag of M&M's.
This bag of M&M's was much harder.
To empty down, because it just didn't compare.
The first M&M's were just the bestest.
Nothing compared to that first M&M's.
I want my M&M's back.
Fortunately for everyone,
I would have to throwed up the M&M's.
In order to get them back.

I'm in love with those M&M's.
They satisfied me.


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Mar 15, 2006)

*golf clap*
beautiful


----------



## swamptoad (Mar 15, 2006)

bigcutiekaroline said:


> Swamptoad are you trying to kill me.....
> I am having palpatations....i don't know if it is because people are touching my M&M's or if it is just due to the picture of them........



No Way! :shocked: 

*Yikes*  

I just wanted to share...that's all.....

Why...oh Why!!!


----------



## fatlane (Mar 15, 2006)

Didn't D12 do rap about not touching M&M's? Or was that 36 Mafia?


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Mar 15, 2006)

D12...no....but they might have mentioned M&Ms...
36 Mafia...idk...


----------



## bigcutiekaroline (Mar 15, 2006)

I will "rap" all of you for touching them! lol
Back off people.......
Fatlane you promised they were all for me...... 
I am going to my dressing room to sulk......now you are short Buffie and Me!!!


----------



## fatlane (Mar 15, 2006)

Special musical guest... EASY-E!

Whaddya mean he's dead?

Is he Tupac dead or really dead?

Really dead, huh...

Man, the show tonight is in a tough predicament...


----------



## swamptoad (Mar 15, 2006)

....Well....what about Weird Al Yankovic.....

Can we see a LIVE performance from him?


----------



## fatlane (Mar 15, 2006)

Not if he dies on the way to the studio. Any chance of a sattellite hookup?


----------



## swamptoad (Mar 15, 2006)

:doh: *did I just hear a rimshot?*

Take us to a commercial break....Fatlane, purdy please?

We've gotta pay for those expensive satellites.


----------



## fatlane (Mar 15, 2006)

Yes. RUN SOME COMMERCIALS! RUN A LOT OF COMMERCIALS! I AM SELLING OUT ***RIGHT NOW***!!!


----------



## swamptoad (Mar 15, 2006)

Buffie, Fatlane, and Friends! is brought to you in part by:

View attachment 3.jpg


Twizzlers --- "Makes mouths happy!"

View attachment 7.jpg


"Clap on, Clap off" --- The Clapper

View attachment 23.jpg


and by M&M's... *smile*

...and especially by viewers like you.....Thank-You. :bow:


----------



## fatlane (Mar 16, 2006)

What? We're on public television?

(Dick Cavett is next guest, followed by Charlie Rose)

Guess we are... Please welcome our musical guest act, _Don Music!_


----------



## Buffie (Mar 17, 2006)

Karoline!? Where's my Karoline!?!?!? What did you DO!? I have Depeche Mode tickets! This can't be happening!!! KKKKAAAARRRRROOOOOOLLLLLIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNEEEEE!!!!!


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Mar 17, 2006)

bigcutiekaroline said:


> I will "rap" all of you for touching them! lol
> Back off people.......
> Fatlane you promised they were all for me......
> I am going to my dressing room to sulk......now you are short Buffie and Me!!!


We've still got Anne Marie!
...wherever she is...


----------



## fatlane (Mar 17, 2006)

I'm about to walk off, then be my own guest host!


----------



## bigcutiekaroline (Mar 20, 2006)

Oh God Buffie's back???? Thank God.....
I was trying to stall them Buffster.......really I was....I was trying my best but that Fatbutt guy is mean and then they were stealing my M & M's and then I had to take them away from them and then I started sulking and then I went to my dressing room and I was waiting and waiting and waiting for you and it felt like a really really long time....then this one time.......


----------



## fatlane (Mar 20, 2006)

Is that _really_ Buffie or is it Swamptoad in an inch of makeup and falsies?


----------



## swamptoad (Mar 20, 2006)

*lol*

_ME_...wearing falsies??? :shocked:


----------



## fatlane (Mar 20, 2006)

Oh jeez. I knew it.

Either we tell everyone the truth or see if we can cover this up.


----------



## swamptoad (Mar 20, 2006)

Why that's imposterous!

It was an imposter who looked like me....

See.... (my face is scruffy and is weathered with dirt and mud:doh: )

What's this world coming to?  :shocked: 

Hurry....let's get Scooby Doo and the rest of the gang and follow the trail of make-up...

....then we will split up eventually ...and then look for more CLUES....

Can we drive the Mystery Machine around the set? Or is that forbidden?


----------



## fatlane (Mar 20, 2006)

All right! Coming up next on the gender-bender issue of the show... David Bowie!


----------



## bigcutiekaroline (Mar 20, 2006)

Damn...I could have sworn it was Buffie.....I am losing it....next time I am squeezing something just to make sure they are real........


----------



## fatlane (Mar 20, 2006)

Don't we have to hire a union guy to do that?


----------



## swamptoad (Mar 20, 2006)

M&M's anyone?

View attachment M&M's.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Mar 20, 2006)

I'll get the union guy to start squeezing them.


----------



## Jane (Mar 21, 2006)

(tapping foot).....

People, ORGANIZE.....NOW

We're on in 5-4-3-2-1.....




Mumbling...bunch of damn drama queens and soap opera stars....sheesh!!!!!


----------



## fatlane (Mar 21, 2006)

Hey, there! Time for a monologue, right?

Seems as though there were these two cue card holders and, aw, c'mon guys, it's a great joke! 

_(cue card holders walk out on strike)_


----------



## Jane (Mar 21, 2006)

I can't rep FL, would someone do it for me, and I'll do the same for you sometime.


----------



## fatlane (Mar 21, 2006)

We're almost at our rep goal, but we need your support for threads such as this which have been abandoned by advertisers. Send whatever you can, be it a nickel, a dime, or a dollar to:

CASH
c/o the exposed waterpipes
second-largest men's room
Dallas Greyhound station


----------



## Jane (Mar 21, 2006)

fatlane said:


> We're almost at our rep goal, but we need your support for threads such as this which have been abandoned by advertisers. Send whatever you can, be it a nickel, a dime, or a dollar to:
> 
> CASH
> c/o the exposed waterpipes
> ...


Just down the street from Gene's Music Box....oh...the memory of the smells.....gag!!!!


----------



## fatlane (Mar 21, 2006)

Ooooh! I Got Four Cans!!!


----------



## bigcutiekaroline (Mar 26, 2006)

I thought we dicussed the pictures of M & M's??????
Please do not feed the guest stars.......lol


----------



## Jane (Mar 26, 2006)

Oh, right, guest stars on a sugar buzz.....I don't think so!!!!


----------



## fatlane (Mar 27, 2006)

Coming up next, Jack Palance: he was dead, but he got better! Stay tuned!


----------



## Jane (Mar 27, 2006)

Next week: Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.


----------



## fatlane (Mar 27, 2006)




----------



## swamptoad (Mar 28, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Coming up next, Jack Palance: he was dead, but he got better! Stay tuned!



Speaking of Jack Palance.

I was watching my 30 years of National Geographic DVD this past Friday and I heard the young voice of Jack Palance doing some narration.


----------



## fatlane (Mar 28, 2006)

Let's go do some one-handed pushups in his memory.


----------



## Buffie (Mar 29, 2006)

Hi everyone, whatcha think of my new hair?


----------



## swamptoad (Mar 29, 2006)

Cool! Looks groovy.

Can I touch it? 

*ponders why did I attempt those one-handed push-ups*

OUCH! SORE! PAIN! :doh:


----------



## fatlane (Mar 29, 2006)

It's the INVASION OF THE STOLEN AVATARS!

Coming up next, it's the Fatlane and Fatlane and Fatlanes show!


----------



## Jane (Mar 29, 2006)

Hey, FL, our guests are FL, FL and FL.


----------



## fatlane (Mar 29, 2006)

With musical guest... Nathan Fatlane!


----------



## Buffie (Mar 29, 2006)

And a surprise appearance by Jes!


----------



## fatlane (Mar 29, 2006)

... and special guest host, KELLIGRL!


----------



## Buffie (Mar 29, 2006)

You play dangerous games, FatFur. I must admit, I reaaaalllly like that about you.


----------



## bigcutiekaroline (Mar 29, 2006)

You guys are off your rockers.......did you know that?


----------



## Buffie (Mar 29, 2006)

Off me rocker eh, miss thang? Well... we'll just see who's avatar goes missing next, won't we? ~Insert E-VILE Laughter Here~


----------



## AnnMarie (Mar 29, 2006)

Buffie said:


> You play dangerous games, FatFur. I must admit, I reaaaalllly like that about you.



The avatar stealing is freaking my ass out!! I never realized how much I just look at the picture and not the name. 

I couldn't figure out why Jes was giving anyone sandpaper licks. 

:doh:


----------



## fatlane (Mar 29, 2006)

bigcutiekaroline said:


> You guys are off your rockers.......did you know that?



_Off_ my rocker?

Honey, I sat down and _CRUSHED_ my rocker!

Video in the next issue of _Bulge!_


----------



## fatlane (Mar 29, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> The avatar stealing is freaking my ass out!! I never realized how much I just look at the picture and not the name.
> 
> I couldn't figure out why Jes was giving anyone sandpaper licks.
> 
> :doh:



Give in to the dark side... you know you wanna!


----------



## Fuzzy (Mar 29, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> The avatar stealing is freaking my ass out!! I never realized how much I just look at the picture and not the name.
> 
> I couldn't figure out why Jes was giving anyone sandpaper licks.
> 
> :doh:



Yeah, I'm learning to do that too.


----------



## bigcutiekaroline (Apr 1, 2006)

I don't even see avators.....to me you are all Red X's..........
You meant to tell me we all don't look alike?????
Now I AM scared!!!

Fatlane that wasn't a rocker you crushed that was a rocket......and I think you may still have part of it up your........  
It is a good look on you though......  
Luv ya!


----------



## fatlane (Apr 1, 2006)

Something is messed up with your internet and images, Karoline. Is Canada initiating an embargo of pictures from the US?


----------



## Jane (Apr 2, 2006)

FL, I had a strange dream. I looked up and everyone looked like you, but I got better.

Can you interpret this dream?


----------



## bigcutiekaroline (Apr 2, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Something is messed up with your internet and images, Karoline. Is Canada initiating an embargo of pictures from the US?


Initiating?? Lol are you hinting there fatllips????


----------



## fatlane (Apr 2, 2006)

And we're back!

Jane, if you're a baker, you're in deep, deep trouble. If you're a butler, you should come out of this OK, though.

Karoline: I blame Canada. Yes I do. If for no other reason than for the ratings grab.


----------



## Jane (Apr 3, 2006)

I'm a candlestick maker.....


----------



## fatlane (Apr 3, 2006)

Well that's messed up. I was sure you were a butler or a baker.

Good thing all this is rather subjective... do you have a _relative_ in the baking or butlering industry? Because I was sure picking up on some kind of vibe like that.


----------



## Jane (Apr 3, 2006)

Strangely enough, NO. One would think but.....NO. My mother was a fabulous baker, but she's gone now.

As for butling...my poor son couldn't wait to grow up, get out of the house, and stop bringing me stuff. We used to have "While you're up"...waitouts.

So one could say that both baking and butler occupations were maintained, so you must be psychic like that guy on TV. (Every bit as, anyway)


----------



## fatlane (Apr 3, 2006)

Your mother is trying to tell you something about your son.

BAM! I love it when a psychic reading comes together.

I'm picking up on "blue". Tell me about "blue".


----------



## Jane (Apr 3, 2006)

Blue Ray...old coach and neighbor or

Blue dress I wore to dinner Saturday night or

Blue jeans I wore yesterday or

Blue eyes, my son and my friend...

Or it could be left over from the red eyes from the hangover...yours not mine.


----------



## fatlane (Apr 3, 2006)

Yes, your son... is he about to go on a trip of some sort?


----------



## bigcutiekaroline (Apr 3, 2006)

fatlane said:


> And we're back!
> 
> Jane, if you're a baker, you're in deep, deep trouble. If you're a butler, you should come out of this OK, though.
> 
> Karoline: I blame Canada. Yes I do. If for no other reason than for the ratings grab.


Oh Fatknees.....what the hell are you talking about????
lol.....


----------



## fatlane (Apr 3, 2006)

OK, Karoline, when was the last time you saw a picture from Canada? Yesterday, right? Well, you live there.

I don't see ANY pictures from Canada, EVER. Therefore, they're having an image embargo. And I want to know WHY!


----------



## Jane (Apr 4, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Yes, your son... is he about to go on a trip of some sort?


Nope, got back about 3 weeks ago....OOOOO Psychic lag zone.


----------



## swamptoad (Apr 4, 2006)

We finally got a psychic for the show?

I like candlestick making.

Fatknees, word!:doh:


----------



## fatlane (Apr 4, 2006)

But he's about to go on another trip... I know this... I <i>feel</i> this... but he should not go on this trip. Pray for him that he does <i>not</i> go on this trip!


----------



## bigcutiekaroline (Apr 5, 2006)

fatlane said:


> OK, Karoline, when was the last time you saw a picture from Canada? Yesterday, right? Well, you live there.
> 
> I don't see ANY pictures from Canada, EVER. Therefore, they're having an image embargo. And I want to know WHY!



Maybe you were a bad boy and and the God's decided that you didn't deserve any Canadian pictures????? Or it could all be a huge evil plot to make you go quietly insane. I am picking the first one cause then it may involve spankins!!!:shocked:


----------



## fatlane (Apr 7, 2006)

I have been in the trunk of a car for the last three days.

I'm OK now.

And, yes, I deserved it.


----------



## bigcutiekaroline (Apr 7, 2006)

fatlane said:


> I have been in the trunk of a car for the last three days.
> 
> I'm OK now.
> 
> And, yes, I deserved it.


That was YOU in the trunk with me?????:shocked: :shocked: 
OH MY GOD! Shhhh don't tell anybody!! 
But I am gonna have to say...yes You did deserve it....lmao


----------



## fatlane (Apr 11, 2006)

Man, wouldn't you know it... this time I tried on a pair of concrete sneakers. Took 'em off when I realized they were a health hazard at the bottom of the East River.

And, uh... no more Mafia jokes for a while...


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Jul 4, 2006)

*sticks head through the door and looks around*


----------



## swamptoad (Jul 4, 2006)

A present for everyone ----->


View attachment MandM.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Jul 4, 2006)

I was working with Carrie on pay-per-view while Buffie was in prison.


----------



## swamptoad (Jul 4, 2006)

Buffie went to prison?


----------



## swamptoad (Jul 4, 2006)

fatlane said:


> I have been in the trunk of a car for the last three days.
> 
> I'm OK now.
> 
> And, yes, I deserved it.



Did you piss off Trunk Monkey?


----------



## fatlane (Jul 4, 2006)

She went to prison, yeah. It was our Ground Hog Day show. I can't say any more about it except that the burns have healed nicely and her nails have grown back.


----------



## Buffie (Jul 7, 2006)

I look AWFUL in orange. Thank goodness for that phase in high school when I watched Steve McQueen movies for 10 hours a week.


----------



## Timberwolf (Jul 7, 2006)

Good to have the show back.
Welcome back, Buffie.


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Jul 7, 2006)

*steps in*


----------



## fatlane (Jul 8, 2006)

Hey, we're on hiatus anyway. Summer.


----------



## FreeThinker (Jul 8, 2006)

How 'bout just a highlight reel, then?



.


----------



## fatlane (Jul 9, 2006)

Yes, Buffie's highlights are real.

What?

I don't think I understood your question, there.


----------



## Buffie (Jul 9, 2006)

What? I don't have highlights. I get a few foils of different colors when I go for my touch ups, but if we're being technical, and we always are, I don't have actual highlights. It's just my natural glow bouncing off my shiny, movie-star hair. That's all. The gleam is magnified by my brilliant teeth. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to looking in the mirror. 

~Fatlane says: Please pardon Buffie, she's been watching a little too much of the Janice Dickinson show.~


----------



## fatlane (Jul 9, 2006)

Those aren't highlights? Man, I need to brush up on my cosmetology.


----------



## FreeThinker (Jul 9, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Those aren't highlights? Man, I need to brush up on my cosmetology.


Hah!

"Brush"!

A hair gag!

*looks around*

Okay, maybe it's me...


----------



## Timberwolf (Jul 9, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Hey, we're on hiatus anyway. Summer.


Doh, summer break. :doh:
*sigh*

I don't like summer break. It's boring.


----------



## fatlane (Jul 9, 2006)

_(Previously posted on page one of this thread.)_

-ly Ballou here at the site of the Jumbo Queen contest, where the sponsors include the Phuket Propane Company. Their slogan: "When someone offers you our competitor, you just say, PHUKET!"

In fact, a recent runner-up in the Jumbo Queen contest was the daughter of the Phuket Propane Company's president. Contestants enter from all walks of Thai life with but one thing in common: they're fat and beautiful. OK, two things. There are separate weight categories, plus an overall winner.

There's also a series of videos on the subject. They're all in Thai, but after watching them, I've learned that fat is the universal language, provided you fast-forward past the parts where there isn't anyone fat on the screen.


----------



## FreeThinker (Jul 9, 2006)

Love the upcut at the beginning.

Who was the radio sketch-comedian who did that all the time?

His producers hated him, as they thought it made them look bad...


----------



## fatlane (Jul 9, 2006)

Bob and Ray, with Bob Elliott as Wally Ballou.


----------



## FreeThinker (Jul 9, 2006)

Thank you.

*off to the Ajax Liquor Store now*


----------



## fatlane (Jul 9, 2006)

This portion of the BF&F show is brought to you by the Monongahela Metal Foundry, makers of fine ingots since 1885!


----------



## porkchop (Jul 9, 2006)

I will just take all the m & m presents over here at the check in desk....no need to take them anywhere else.......
Trust me...they will be safe! :eat1:


----------



## fatlane (Jul 9, 2006)

Well, helloooo, there... you know, green is my FAVORITE color... you want a job as an intern?


----------



## Obesus (Jul 9, 2006)

How could you?! I just finished watering the brains and they were looking so lovely today...all shimmery and shiny! How could you intern this, this...painted woman...green at that! I am heartbroken and need to talk to my Henchman's local 2393 union rep! I demand a.......errrr.......uhhhhh....how about an M&M? That sounds fair!   



fatlane said:


> Well, helloooo, there... you know, green is my FAVORITE color... you want a job as an intern?


----------



## porkchop (Jul 10, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Well, helloooo, there... you know, green is my FAVORITE color... you want a job as an intern?


I would love a job.......but I am alittle bit afraid of being canablised.......:shocked:


----------



## swamptoad (Jul 10, 2006)

fatlane said:


> _(Previously posted on page one of this thread.)_
> 
> -ly Ballou here at the site of the Jumbo Queen contest, where the sponsors include the Phuket Propane Company. Their slogan: "When someone offers you our competitor, you just say, PHUKET!"
> 
> ...



I thought about Groucho Marx after reading this post. :doh:


----------



## swamptoad (Jul 10, 2006)

porkchop said:


> I will just take all the m & m presents over here at the check in desk....no need to take them anywhere else.......
> Trust me...they will be safe! :eat1:




*Yikes*

Hark!

M & M robber!

:shocked:


----------



## porkchop (Jul 11, 2006)

swamptoad said:


> *Yikes*
> 
> Hark!
> 
> ...


Fully trustworthy!
Girl Guides Honour!:eat2:


----------



## fatlane (Jul 17, 2006)

Obesus, I'm promoting you to do the cooking segments on the show. If you can do them in a ritualistic fashion, that'd be fan-friggin-tastic.


----------



## swamptoad (Jul 17, 2006)

I want a promotion too, purdy please?


----------



## fatlane (Jul 18, 2006)

swamptoad said:


> I want a promotion too, purdy please?



Sure. You're still cleaning the toilets, but you can use a brush now.


----------



## Obesus (Jul 18, 2006)

My "tater-pasta whammo surprise special" is cooked in a real alchemical furnace emblazoned with the Voorish sign and prayers from the "Revelations of Glakki to His Holy Ones" muttered over it for hours on end...hmmmmm...maybe that is why the pasta has been a bit gluey lately....AHA! Less muttering, more cooking! AHA! :shocked: :bow: 
Shri Shri Swami Jalaram Jalanandaji (Joy through union with food!)



fatlane said:


> Obesus, I'm promoting you to do the cooking segments on the show. If you can do them in a ritualistic fashion, that'd be fan-friggin-tastic.


----------



## fatlane (Jul 18, 2006)

Obesus said:


> My "tater-pasta whammo surprise special" is cooked in a real alchemical furnace emblazoned with the Voorish sign and prayers from the "Revelations of Glakki to His Holy Ones" muttered over it for hours on end...hmmmmm...maybe that is why the pasta has been a bit gluey lately....AHA! Less muttering, more cooking! AHA! :shocked: :bow:
> Shri Shri Swami Jalaram Jalanandaji (Joy through union with food!)



Ratings GOLD, buddy! We'll give you a theme song, too, if you like. What would it be?


----------



## Jack Skellington (Jul 18, 2006)

I want to do the fortune telling segment of the BF&F show. I just got a new Magic 8 Ball I've been wanting to try out.


----------



## fatlane (Jul 18, 2006)

Jack Skellington said:


> I want to do the fortune telling segment of the BF&F show. I just got a new Magic 8 Ball I've been wanting to try out.



How magic is it? And can it get Buffie out of her dressing room to flounce over to you and give it a good shake if you know what I mean and I think you DO know what I mean.


----------



## Jack Skellington (Jul 18, 2006)

fatlane said:


> How magic is it?



It belongs to a Witch that's got to count for something.



> And can it get Buffie out of her dressing room to flounce over to you and give it a good shake if you know what I mean and I think you DO know what I mean.



Let me check....

Okay it says "My sources say no."


----------



## fatlane (Jul 18, 2006)

Well, do something with it to get her to do that. Make it a fortunetelling shoe or designer handbag if you have to.


----------



## swamptoad (Jul 18, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Sure. You're still cleaning the toilets, but you can use a brush now.




*Phew*

Now where can I wipe my hands?


----------



## fatlane (Jul 18, 2006)

On anyone who doesn't move fast enough.


----------



## Obesus (Jul 18, 2006)

....to maintain the slightest shred of thread relevance, it would have to be the theme from pop TV show..."_BUFFY_ the Vampire Slayer." Ahem!:bow: 
Speaking of which, where might le grande dame du Buffy be in this thread, eh? Kidnapped to Barsoom? (Note the clever "Barsoom-Bazoom" aliteration, with deepest apologies to the memory of Edgar Rice Burroughs and the living and breathing reality of our dear Miss Buffy! :smitten: )



fatlane said:


> Ratings GOLD, buddy! We'll give you a theme song, too, if you like. What would it be?


----------



## fatlane (Jul 19, 2006)

Buffy's at the Taco Convention in Los Alamos, New Mexico. She'll be back when they run out of tacos.

Theme song is OK, corporate was just worried you'd go with "The Thong Song".


----------



## Buffie (Jul 20, 2006)

Yes, tacos... yesssss. Dammit! I just remembered I forgot my M&Ms at work! Sonofabitch!


----------



## fatlane (Jul 20, 2006)

OK, no tacos left in New Mexico or along I-10.


----------



## FreeThinker (Jul 20, 2006)

fatlane said:


> OK, no tacos left in New Mexico or along I-10.


Hee...

Keeping us updated on how *Hurricane Buffy* is tracking...


----------



## fatlane (Jul 20, 2006)

She just blew through Anaheim.


----------



## Obesus (Jul 20, 2006)

Why that's only a few hundred miles from here...Miss Buffie will hopefully be making a retro-rocket braking and reversing maneuver right along the Southern Hills area of Frisco...and even then, I will probably manage to miss her completely! :doh: I am cursed! Cursed, I say! :shocked: 



fatlane said:


> She just blew through Anaheim.


----------



## porkchop (Jul 21, 2006)

Buffie said:


> Yes, tacos... yesssss. Dammit! I just remembered I forgot my M&Ms at work! Sonofabitch!


I am not at your work...I am right here beside you......silly Buffie!!!!!


----------



## fatlane (Jul 21, 2006)

Coming up next, Steely Dan will be talking about their latest project, a Hollywood lawsuit, so don't go away, always interesting with those two.


----------



## Buffie (Jul 23, 2006)

Hurricane Buffie is traveling with Tropical Storm Porkchop and we are on a crash course to consume all the tacos and M&Ms we can find! Surrender!!! WHAA HA HA HAAA <~That's my dastardly villian laugh.


----------



## fatlane (Jul 23, 2006)

STAY AWAY FROM THE MEXICAN RESTAURANTS!!!

They'll likely go for the 50-gallon drums of M&M's, so stay clear of the wholesale stores.


----------



## Buffie (Jul 23, 2006)

Costco and On The Border are shaking in their corporate boots.


----------



## porkchop (Jul 23, 2006)

It is escalating to a catagory seven.....evacuate people...evacuate.....:eat1:


----------



## Obesus (Jul 23, 2006)

Miss Buffie....I am thinking a quick course at the Fatlane School of Dastardly laughing might be in order. There is the ever popular "Muahahahahahah", the more advanced "Heh Heh Heh" delivered in a stoccato burst and many, many others too dastardly to even reveal to the delicate minds of our genteel Board visitors! I am validating completely the essentially dastardly nature of your laugh here, but with just a touch here and a whammy-bar there, you could in the Big Time! :bow: Ahem.



Buffie said:


> Hurricane Buffie is traveling with Tropical Storm Porkchop and we are on a crash course to consume all the tacos and M&Ms we can find! Surrender!!! WHAA HA HA HAAA <~That's my dastardly villian laugh.


----------



## Obesus (Jul 23, 2006)

I am just a couple of miles from the Pacific Ocean...would that be safe enough? Should I fear a Tsunami of M&M enjoyment headed my way? Will the avalanche of tacos hurt a lot? I am concerned...very very concerned! :shocked: Hmmm...also a bit hungry here for some unaccountable reason...hmmmmmmmmmm!


porkchop said:


> It is escalating to a catagory seven.....evacuate people...evacuate.....:eat1:


----------



## Buffie (Jul 23, 2006)

Obesus said:


> Miss Buffie....I am thinking a quick course at the Fatlane School of Dastardly laughing might be in order. There is the ever popular "Muahahahahahah", the more advanced "Heh Heh Heh" delivered in a stoccato burst and many, many others too dastardly to even reveal to the delicate minds of our genteel Board visitors! I am validating completely the essentially dastardly nature of your laugh here, but with just a touch here and a whammy-bar there, you could in the Big Time! :bow: Ahem.



This is interesting. Where do I sign up?


----------



## Obesus (Jul 23, 2006)

...by putting a couple of crisp one dollar bills into a cigar box and burying it in the middle of your backyard. Our people will retrieve it around 3AM when you have completely forgotten about it and then we will be in touch with you ASAP! (If you throw a cookie and M&M or three in, the response will be faster!)
Bring out the true potential in your dastardly laugh, or ALL of your money back!  



Buffie said:


> This is interesting. Where do I sign up?


----------



## Buffie (Jul 23, 2006)

Obesus said:


> ...by putting a couple of crisp one dollar bills into a cigar box and burying it in the middle of your backyard. Our people will retrieve it around 3AM when you have completely forgotten about it and then we will be in touch with you ASAP! (If you throw a cookie and M&M or three in, the response will be faster!)
> Bring out the true potential in your dastardly laugh, or ALL of your money back!



Obesus! I have to dig a hole!? That's manual labor. Note to self: Hire hole-digger who smokes cigars.


----------



## Obesus (Jul 23, 2006)

Totally forgot about the fingernails......ohhhhh, how could I and how did I becomed possessed by the demon of Stoopnocacy?????...I am verframmused and bemused with the heat here...it is....almost in the 80's....mind turned to jello or gelatin, not sure which....if you need a kindly ol' cigar-smokin' digger of dirt, I think I can find someone to fit the bill...works cheap...maybe a couple of thousand! Petty-cash, no doubt!   (hey, we have to make up for the cheap $2 school-course somehow!)



Buffie said:


> Obesus! I have to dig a hole!? That's manual labor. Note to self: Hire hole-digger who smokes cigars.


----------



## Timberwolf (Jul 24, 2006)

Obesus said:


> I am just a couple of miles from the Pacific Ocean...would that be safe enough? Should I fear a Tsunami of M&M enjoyment headed my way? Will the avalanche of tacos hurt a lot? I am concerned...very very concerned! :shocked: Hmmm...also a bit hungry here for some unaccountable reason...hmmmmmmmmmm!


Although I feel quite safe over here... Is there any chance that the M&Ms tsunami could reach the german coast?


----------



## porkchop (Jul 24, 2006)

Timberwolf said:


> Although I feel quite safe over here... Is there any chance that the M&Ms tsunami could reach the german coast?


At the rate this rampaging storm of deliciousness is growing you can not guess how far reaching it can become...no one is safe....no one....*Buffie's evil laugh here...*


----------



## Timberwolf (Jul 24, 2006)

porkchop said:


> At the rate this rampaging storm of deliciousness is growing you can not guess how far reaching it can become...no one is safe....no one....*Buffie's evil laugh here...*


... ... ...:shocked:... Whooooaaaa! :shocked: *looks for shelter* :shocked:


----------



## fatlane (Jul 24, 2006)

Here's a riddle for you kids out there!

Q: How do you catch a Buffie?

A: Make a noise like a taco and drop the nets on her before she rends you limb from limb.

Q: How do you catch a Porkchop?

A: Make a noise like an M&M and drop the nets before she makes you melt in her mouth, not in her hand.

NO DOUBLE ENTENDRES, PLEASE!!!


----------



## Jane (Jul 24, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Here's a riddle for you kids out there!
> 
> Q: How do you catch a Buffie?
> 
> ...


Triple okay?


----------



## fatlane (Jul 24, 2006)

Jane said:


> Triple okay?



Don't hurt yourself.


----------



## Obesus (Jul 25, 2006)

Coinae Greek, Gothic, Proto-Indo-European, Akkadian, Medieval Sanskrit (versus classical), Voorish Tongue, French...etc.????? Hmmmmmmm? Eh? 



fatlane said:


> Don't hurt yourself.


----------



## Obesus (Jul 25, 2006)

_Zen Koan with a little extra whammy on the side._



fatlane said:


> Here's a riddle for you kids out there!
> 
> Q: How do you catch a Buffie?
> 
> ...


----------



## fatlane (Jul 25, 2006)

Obesus said:


> Coinae Greek, Gothic, Proto-Indo-European, Akkadian, Medieval Sanskrit (versus classical), Voorish Tongue, French...etc.????? Hmmmmmmm? Eh?



I'd prefer Avestan puns for tonight.

_So Zoroaster walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Hey buddy, what's with the fire in your hand?"_


----------



## Obesus (Jul 25, 2006)

....and keeps staring at the horse tending bar....the horse finally says to him..."Hey, what do you think you are staring at?" The guy says...."Well, I just can't believe that the _parrot_ finally sold the bar!"  

I would tell the one about the Bear in the Bar in Billings..but it is long and requires my active use of accents and hand gestures!:bow: 



fatlane said:


> I'd prefer Avestan puns for tonight.
> 
> _So Zoroaster walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Hey buddy, what's with the fire in your hand?"_


----------



## fatlane (Jul 25, 2006)

Give it your best shot, O Be Sus.

Now, to get back on topic, how about some treats?

Nipples of Venus, anyone?







Quick, before the moderators get them all!


----------



## Obesus (Jul 25, 2006)

Must have been using electron-spin rates for automatic nipple-removement equipment! Heard tell o' that, down Eleusis-way! Hail Buffie! :smitten: 




fatlane said:


> Give it your best shot, O Be Sus.
> 
> Now, to get back on topic, how about some treats?
> 
> ...


----------



## fatlane (Jul 25, 2006)

Ah, the Eleusinian Mysteries... I once began a Machenesque tale related to those very rites and a certain tree with an unusual hollow, fillable only by an earth mother... Clever trousers among you will guess at the inevitability of the magickal rites in the tale...


----------



## Jane (Jul 25, 2006)

Sometimes we enjoy watching you two mentally mutually masturbate.




















Oh yes, I DID go there.


----------



## fatlane (Jul 25, 2006)

You are exhibiting decadent capitalist running-dog tendencies, Jane. 

(Makes notes on a list)


----------



## Obesus (Jul 28, 2006)

Awwww...I love the cute pooches when they run around and yip at each other! The part about the decadent capitalists, I have to ponder a bit...I am thinking I had best go read some Guattari on that one...maybe Jacque Lacan..even Deleuze...ohhhh...maybe Baudrillard or Lyotard...perchance Virilio, but no Derrida...too intellectual...and something on schizoanalysis fer absolute sure....A Thousand Plateaus comes to mind....I always get inspired by the Nomad War Machine bits...reminds of the cute little poochies yipping and nipping at each other!  



fatlane said:


> You are exhibiting decadent capitalist running-dog tendencies, Jane.
> 
> (Makes notes on a list)


----------



## Jane (Jul 28, 2006)

fatlane said:


> You are exhibiting decadent capitalist running-dog tendencies, Jane.
> 
> (Makes notes on a list)


Running dog, perhaps.
Capitalist, no.
*Power to the people* (and those cute puppies Obie posted).


----------



## Obesus (Jul 28, 2006)

I am sensing a mighty solidarity of purpose and action here, with diversity, warmth, empathic tolerance and global concern. A few poochies and bunnies here and there too....oooooooh....cuddly!  



Jane said:


> Running dog, perhaps.
> Capitalist, no.
> *Power to the people* (and those cute puppies Obie posted).


----------



## Jane (Jul 28, 2006)

Me, or the poochies? 'Cause I can tell those puppies have something on their minds. They are not wandering aimlessly through life, those adorable creatures have a sense of purpose...wetting on a tree though it may be. 

I could get along with those two dogs, kinda like two gentlemen of Mr. Obie and Mr. FL.

(I'm ignoring the fake bunny in favor of the cookies.)


----------



## porkchop (Jul 28, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Here's a riddle for you kids out there!
> 
> Q: How do you catch a Buffie?
> 
> ...


Although I really really like not being seen as carnivorous as Buffie....lol.....I think that you need to understand that she won't actually render you limb from limb......just give her your tacos......everything will be just fine......
Now if anywhere on you was made of chocolate.....then you may be in trouble.....


----------



## Obesus (Jul 29, 2006)

For some reason, that conjures up images of exotic things happening in far-away places involving strange rituals and really fat men in monk's robes chanting over the Godiva logo! Just a thought. :bow: 



porkchop said:


> Although I really really like not being seen as carnivorous as Buffie....lol.....I think that you need to understand that she won't actually render you limb from limb......just give her your tacos......everything will be just fine......
> Now if anywhere on you was made of chocolate.....then you may be in trouble.....


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jul 29, 2006)

Oh my. I have nothing to contribute, except I'm torn. Hating Derrida and loving puppies? Are you friend or foe, Obesus?


----------



## Timberwolf (Jul 29, 2006)

Maybe a friendly foe?


----------



## Obesus (Jul 29, 2006)

"I'm in _love_ with Jacques Derrida..." But do we need to consider sweet puppies as symptomatic of the end of history....do they represent post-Hegelian a-historical antiteleologies? Hmmmmmmm....could be! But then again, maybe they are just little Mahayana Buddhas romping around in the Buddha-field! :bow: 



TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Oh my. I have nothing to contribute, except I'm torn. Hating Derrida and loving puppies? Are you friend or foe, Obesus?


----------



## Obesus (Jul 29, 2006)

"How do you catch a unique rabbit?" Social worker over at the County told me that one...sort of as an acuity test/Zen check-in...I flunked! I think sooooo much...it hinders...hence my fierce work on being in the body and living in heart and intuition! :bow: 



Obesus said:


> _Zen Koan with a little extra whammy on the side._



PS...thanks to my ex-wife Suzi for modelling the very Cinder Bunny in person!

What WAS this thread about?


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jul 29, 2006)

Obesus said:


> "I'm in _love_ with Jacques Derrida..." But do we need to consider sweet puppies as symptomatic of the end of history....do they represent post-Hegelian a-historical antiteleologies? Hmmmmmmm....could be! But then again, maybe they are just little Mahayana Buddhas romping around in the Buddha-field! :bow:



I'm a puppy lover. I just have to convince Ryan we need a puppy once I move to Cali. Hmm.


----------



## fatlane (Jul 29, 2006)

If I were made of chocolate, I would need to leave Texas at once.


----------



## porkchop (Jul 29, 2006)

fatlane said:


> If I were made of chocolate, I would need to leave Texas at once.


Just stroll over to Canada...we will help you out....


----------



## Jane (Jul 29, 2006)

fatlane said:


> If I were made of chocolate, I would need to leave Texas at once.


Now, you know you're our little chocolate hunny bunny......


----------



## fatlane (Jul 31, 2006)

CHANGING THE SUBJECT

With us today is Leroy Hazzard, Director of R&D at M&M/Hershey, here to show us some of his latest concoctions.

As far as we can tell, he's not made of chocolate.

Or tacos.


----------



## Buffie (Aug 1, 2006)

*POP* Did I hear tacos? *POP*


----------



## FreeThinker (Aug 1, 2006)

Ladies and gentlemen, Buffie's back!



*applause*



And Buffie's FRONT!



*wild applause, cat-calls, grown men screaming like teenage girls at a mid-sixties Beatles concert*


----------



## Buffie (Aug 1, 2006)

Hee hee hee! Nutty thing, you! We all know people were throwing rotten tomatos and cabbage... or was that stuff meant for the tacos? You creeps! How about throwing some cheese and jalapenos, too?! Gah!


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 1, 2006)

*throws tacos*


----------



## porkchop (Aug 1, 2006)

fatlane said:


> CHANGING THE SUBJECT
> 
> With us today is Leroy Hazzard, Director of R&D at M&M/Hershey, here to show us some of his latest concoctions.
> 
> ...


Come on Fatlane...I have to meet him.....pleassssse.........
I am begging you...
Did he bring any samples???


----------



## fatlane (Aug 3, 2006)

Yes, they're in the green room right now.

Next to the taco buffet.


----------



## Obesus (Aug 4, 2006)

....about the safety and health advisability of M&M's and Tacos in such near proximity....the possibility of a Buffie/Porkchop hyper-collision near the Planck limit could have disastrous results in 11-Dimension Calabi-Yau space! The entire Universe could implode...or worse! I advise a little more distance over there, if you please! 
Ahem!
I am going to the kitchen for snackies! :eat2: 




fatlane said:


> Yes, they're in the green room right now.
> 
> Next to the taco buffet.


----------



## porkchop (Aug 4, 2006)

Oh Obesus...you aren't going to the kitchen for snacks.....you are going to grab a front row seat for all the action in the Green room...
Come on Buffie....race ya there! Last one there is a skinny chick!!!:eat2:


----------



## Jane (Aug 4, 2006)

And here, I thought the taco/M&M collision was a chemical thing.


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 4, 2006)

Well, we're just learning something new every day...


----------



## fatlane (Aug 4, 2006)

And it's all LIVE on the show! Please recalibrate your equipment after the main shock to account for the new gravitational centers in our local system.


----------



## Jane (Aug 4, 2006)

Done and done....oh yeah, and done.


----------



## Obesus (Aug 5, 2006)

I need the adjustment parameters, most kindly, please! The gravitron wave alone will knock out most of the electronic equipment in the known world and when it hits the EM spectrum, wowzers! Quarks bouncing around for at least a couple of lightyears! Should be quite a light-show up there in the Aurora Borealis. My main concern is that neutrino production in the Sun's core is not disrupted...now that could have consequences! My main hope is that the reverse-bounceage effect of the Buffie/Porkchop/Taco/M&M collision might just dampen the worst of it...and be a really really good floor-show too!  :bow: 
I will eschew the lead shielding to witness this...am I not brave?  



Jane said:


> Done and done....oh yeah, and done.


----------



## Buffie (Aug 5, 2006)

porkchop said:


> Oh Obesus...you aren't going to the kitchen for snacks.....you are going to grab a front row seat for all the action in the Green room...
> Come on Buffie....race ya there! Last one there is a skinny chick!!!:eat2:



Oh No She Dit-nt!  LOL... I took a pic for you while I was in Vegas cuz I wished you were there... 

View attachment GreenM&MontheStrip.jpg


----------



## Obesus (Aug 5, 2006)

This just changes the whole face of Superstring P-Brane model Cosmology....forever...I need to lie down for a bit.....I feel very weak... 
Must place taters under pillow and perhaps I will feel better!:shocked: 



Buffie said:


> Oh No She Dit-nt!  LOL... I took a pic for you while I was in Vegas cuz I wished you were there...


----------



## Buffie (Aug 5, 2006)

I'm a little worried about ya, O.


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## Obesus (Aug 5, 2006)

Especially when mashed with mayo! Oh...of course, I would never put _those_ under the pillow as a tranquilizer sleep-aide...the fried ones work much better!   :doh: :shocked:  



Buffie said:


> I'm a little worried about ya, O.


----------



## Jane (Aug 5, 2006)

Four degrees before tap dead center...Obes.

Some movies give you the code.


----------



## Obesus (Aug 5, 2006)

Wowzers! That is some definite Cosmological Constant-Blackbody radiation curves comin' off that wavefront event thar'! I am expecting hailstorms soon!
Thanks for the info...it was very, very helpful!



Jane said:


> Four degrees before tap dead center...Obes.
> 
> Some movies give you the code.


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 5, 2006)

Hmmm... I seem to be living on the far end here... No changes, yet...


----------



## Obesus (Aug 6, 2006)

...to hit you in about three point five-nine hours there, good buddy! Niner Niner! Uhhhh...does that last phrase there mean anything? I am suddenly unsure! 
Aw heck...enjoy the aroma of delicious tacos and M&M's wafting along with that wave thar'! (Do M&M's have a delicate aroma? Porkchop?)



Timberwolf said:


> Hmmm... I seem to be living on the far end here... No changes, yet...


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 6, 2006)

Funny... still nothing...
Do I live in an other Dimension?

M&Ms have an aroma... over here, that means... :eat2:


----------



## porkchop (Aug 6, 2006)

Ahhhh Buffie.......sweety...I miss you too! Thanks for the photo!!! But you're still a skinny chic! :shocked: 

O.......yes there is a very sweet intoxicating m & m aroma....it comes from deep inside......and floods your senses.....it is unforgetable....and stays with you for days.....


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 6, 2006)

Buffie a skinny chick???? :shocked:

I _*must*_ be living in an other Dimensions...

*scratches his head confusedly*

No gravity-or-what-the-heck-waves... 
Just a lame aroma from M&Ms... 
A skinny Buffie... 





Well, let's give it a try...

*places a 40-ton truck filled with tacos in front of Buffie's house*


----------



## Obesus (Aug 6, 2006)

I forgot to mention that since the actual occurence of the great Buffie-Porkchop collision of ought-six ('06) still exists only as a Fenyman-diagram on a blackboard in a room over at the Lawrence-Livermore National Laboratory, you probably won't actually feel anything in your _body_....but the probability wave is looking totally awesome; the trajectories are looking clear, the x-ray detectors on the Chandra Space Telescope have already picked up the activity returning to Earth via quantum entanglement from the Crab Nebula (hmmmmmm....Crab Tacos....yummers :eat1: ) Dude, this is just phenomenal, at least in a virtual-probabalistic sense...and the sub-Planck-Length folks are already having a par-tay with the neutrinos! It might even generate some physical activity beyond the elastic collisions when Buffie and Porkchop actually lightly bump into each other and go..."Oopsie! Didn't see you there...the Tacos/M&M's were distracting me!" Of course, since they will both say exactly the same thing at exactly the same second with the slight mirror-variation of tacos vs. M&M's, that is what will set up the whole wave-thingy! QED  



Timberwolf said:


> Funny... still nothing...
> Do I live in an other Dimension?
> 
> M&Ms have an aroma... over here, that means... :eat2:


----------



## Obesus (Aug 6, 2006)

Days, you say? I had best call the DARPA boys on this one....this might have to go up for a look-see as a potentially powerful substitute for that sub-sonic pre-synaptic neural stuff they have been working on for a few decades! Senses flooded....ooh...gotta' get me a bag o' thems....they come in the 50 lb bag, I assume?
Now, the "skinny Buffie" concept...as with all things in Relativistic Physics, it may seem counter-intuitive, but if we look at from the right viewpoint, it becomes clear. It is simply that Buffie is moving at close to lightspeed to get at them tacos, so she is contracting along the major axis due to Fitzgerald-Lorenz contraction. It is purely an artifact of your viewpoint and the contraction effects. Buffie does look a tad hungry though...a Taco might be a _good_ idea! :eat1: 



porkchop said:


> Ahhhh Buffie.......sweety...I miss you too! Thanks for the photo!!! But you're still a skinny chic! :shocked:
> 
> O.......yes there is a very sweet intoxicating m & m aroma....it comes from deep inside......and floods your senses.....it is unforgetable....and stays with you for days.....


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 6, 2006)

It's all clear now... 
Seems like I'm really living on the absolutely far end over here... :doh:
The wave finally arrived!

What a wonderful, awesome experience... :smitten: *sigh*

And my taco-truck-test proved that Buffie's body is still voluptuous - maybe a little more right now...  
... it was an optical illusion caused by various factors (TMTL)...

*whew*

*trying to cool down*


----------



## Obesus (Aug 6, 2006)

Our friends Buffie and Porkchop create universal havoc just by slightly bumping into each other at a buffet and politely excusing themselves...who woulda' thunk? Now that we have the universal TOF (Theory of Fat), we can really hunker down and get on with even more important things...taters! Yay! 



Timberwolf said:


> It's all clear now...
> Seems like I'm really living on the absolutely far end over here... :doh:
> The wave finally arrived!
> 
> ...


----------



## Jane (Aug 6, 2006)

That Obe has some nice taters!!!!


----------



## Obesus (Aug 7, 2006)

But right now, I'm a feelin' a tad peckish for some pasta primavera...yet another member of the food group beginning with the letter "P"....as in pasta, po-tatos, pie, pieroshki, etc! Yummy! :eat2: 
Maybe I can talk Buffie and Porkchop into some nice pieroshki or plantain!  Not!  



Jane said:


> That Obe has some nice taters!!!!


----------



## porkchop (Aug 7, 2006)

Timberwolf said:


> Buffie a skinny chick???? :shocked:
> 
> I _*must*_ be living in an other Dimensions...
> 
> ...


LAME?????? A "lame" aroma from m & m's?????? I am deeply trouble by this....deeply.........(and having a rather eloborate snit over it!)  

And...yes I know Buffie isn't skinny....I am taunting her...trying to encite her into taco/m & m eating battle.........sigh.........


----------



## porkchop (Aug 7, 2006)

Obesus said:


> But right now, I'm a feelin' a tad peckish for some pasta primavera...yet another member of the food group beginning with the letter "P"....as in pasta, po-tatos, pie, pieroshki, etc! Yummy! :eat2:
> Maybe I can talk Buffie and Porkchop into some nice pieroshki or plantain!  Not!


How about PEROGIES>>>>with bacon onions and sourcream????
I am positive that I can be prodded into not passing up this positively popular "P" product!!!


----------



## Obesus (Aug 7, 2006)

The lad was obviously, as were we all, in the middle of the subtle but profound effects of the GBPCE (Great Buffie-Porkchop Collision Event) of ought-six and his sniffer was clearly out of whack due to the quantum effects! I understand your snit and empathize with you completely and fully, but I beg of you to take into account the fact that the entire Universe was going through a case of the frammuses when he said that! Have tender mercy! I plead with you.....:bow: 
Now, having said that, we have more than adequately explained the perceptual effects around the Buffie-major-axis-Fitgerald-Lorenz contraction and that is quite real, so I suggest that we either slow Buffie down from lightspeed a bit or else take up your suggestion for an eating battle of the Century....or maybe both!  Any volunteers for setting up such an event? I know it is dangerous work, but the rewards are so deep and....rewarding!   



porkchop said:


> LAME?????? A "lame" aroma from m & m's?????? I am deeply trouble by this....deeply.........(and having a rather eloborate snit over it!)
> And...yes I know Buffie isn't skinny....I am taunting her...trying to encite her into taco/m & m eating battle.........sigh.........


----------



## Obesus (Aug 7, 2006)

Bacon, onions and sour cream...mmmmmm.....ooooooooh....oops, excuse me, got a bit lost there! YES, I am certain, Miss *P*orkchop, that *P*erogies and *P*eroshkis could be had, and I am sure that there is little or no need for *P*rodding you to enjoy these *P*opular and *P*ositively, *P*alpitatingly delicious "*P*" *P*roducts even accounting for my usual advanced state of *P*ernicious *P*erceptual *P*er-*P*lexity over here! I think I am seeing it quite clearly! :eat1: I am feeling a tad *P*eckish over here for some *P*umpkin *P*ie as well...must needs get me a slice! :eat2: 



porkchop said:


> How about PEROGIES>>>>with bacon onions and sourcream????
> I am positive that I can be prodded into not passing up this positively popular "P" product!!!


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 7, 2006)

porkchop said:


> LAME?????? A "lame" aroma from m & m's?????? I am deeply trouble by this....deeply.........(and having a rather eloborate snit over it!)


No need to bother... I found out that the "lame" aroma of the M&Ms I had was caused by a side-effect of this bouncitron-wave that ran through the universe after you and Buffie met. Right now, the aroma of my M&Ms is similar to your description... :eat2:


porkchop said:


> And...yes I know Buffie isn't skinny....I am taunting her...trying to encite her into taco/m & m eating battle.........sigh.........


The skinny Buffie was just an optical illusion caused by an interaction of the bouncitron waves and some echoes of your taunting of Buffie (some other factors influenced this thing, too, but the complete explanation would keep me writing for hours...:doh...
Uhm... your eating battle... well... I don't want to disappoint you, but... this test with the taco-filled truck... It was an extreme training for Buffie... Just imagine her vaporizing 40 tons of tacos in a fraction of a second... Do you think you can keep up with that? :eat1: :eat1: :eat1: :eat1:


----------



## porkchop (Aug 7, 2006)

Timberwolf said:


> No need to bother... I found out that the "lame" aroma of the M&Ms I had was caused by a side-effect of this bouncitron-wave that ran through the universe after you and Buffie met. Right now, the aroma of my M&Ms is similar to your description... :eat2:
> 
> The skinny Buffie was just an optical illusion caused by an interaction of the bouncitron waves and some echoes of your taunting of Buffie (some other factors influenced this thing, too, but the complete explanation would keep me writing for hours...:doh...
> Uhm... your eating battle... well... I don't want to disappoint you, but... this test with the taco-filled truck... It was an extreme training for Buffie... Just imagine her vaporizing 40 tons of tacos in a fraction of a second... Do you think you can keep up with that? :eat1: :eat1: :eat1: :eat1:


Well thank GOD! I was having trouble keping my nose in the air that high.... I knew you must have been under some extreme influences.....I am so very glad you have come around to the chocolate side!!!:wubu: 

Now as for this battle of the bellies....I think I am up for it.....definitely...BRING IT ON!!! Where is Buff anyways??? Has she gone into fasting for our show down??? I must sleuth out her where abouts....don't want her having any secret weapons now!


----------



## porkchop (Aug 7, 2006)

Obesus said:


> Bacon, onions and sour cream...mmmmmm.....ooooooooh....oops, excuse me, got a bit lost there! YES, I am certain, Miss *P*orkchop, that *P*erogies and *P*eroshkis could be had, and I am sure that there is little or no need for *P*rodding you to enjoy these *P*opular and *P*ositively, *P*alpitatingly delicious "*P*" *P*roducts even accounting for my usual advanced state of *P*ernicious *P*erceptual *P*er-*P*lexity over here! I think I am seeing it quite clearly! :eat1: I am feeling a tad *P*eckish over here for some *P*umpkin *P*ie as well...must needs get me a slice! :eat2:


Did someone say PUMKIN PIE???


----------



## fatlane (Aug 7, 2006)

I would have posted earlier, BUT SOMEONE LEFT THE ROBOTS UNATTENDED.

:: taps foot angrily, awaiting apologies and rapid action ::







Thank goodness this isn't Japan, or we'd be up to our asbestos in robot rampage.


----------



## Obesus (Aug 8, 2006)

Please, Master....don't speak harshly to me....I am delicate and sensitive...I had a troubled youth without the benefit of a nice red fez to wear to keep my noggin from the burning rays of the Sun....it was THE MEERKATS! Yes...that is it, the Meerkats were playing around with the experiment that we never ever ever ever talk about...you know...the Buffie and Porkchop robots that we are planning to unleash upon the world...yes....I was shooing the Meerkats away and this horrible tragedy occurred...I am thinking a nice greeting card with sweet condolences to the victim's family? I'll rush right down to the Walgreen's to pick one up! That's it...yup....gotta' go! :bow: 



fatlane said:


> I would have posted earlier, BUT SOMEONE LEFT THE ROBOTS UNATTENDED.
> 
> :: taps foot angrily, awaiting apologies and rapid action ::
> Thank goodness this isn't Japan, or we'd be up to our asbestos in robot rampage.


----------



## Obesus (Aug 8, 2006)

Lots and lots of *P*umpkin *P*ie with Whi*pp*ed Cream and Ice Cream too.......
Oh dear....now we are looking at a Porkchop/Obesus collision at the pie shoppe! Will the torture of it all never stop...oh, the humanity! Get the gauges out again, lads and lasses!:shocked: 



porkchop said:


> Did someone say PUMKIN PIE???


----------



## Buffie (Aug 8, 2006)

porkchop said:


> Well thank GOD! I was having trouble keping my nose in the air that high.... I knew you must have been under some extreme influences.....I am so very glad you have come around to the chocolate side!!!:wubu:
> 
> Now as for this battle of the bellies....I think I am up for it.....definitely...BRING IT ON!!! Where is Buff anyways??? Has she gone into fasting for our show down??? I must sleuth out her where abouts....don't want her having any secret weapons now!



You are so on! Ohmigawd! I will eat the hell outta some tacos. You'll need an umbrella for all the taco shrapnel (did I spell that right?). For reals!


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 8, 2006)

What about a kevlar paravent?


----------



## porkchop (Aug 8, 2006)

Did you see that pie??????????
I think I am in love........
Maybe you should just bow out gracefully Obesus.....then no one will get hurt! 

And Buff.....ever had a m & m shell in the eye....remember to wear protective eye wear.......


----------



## Obesus (Aug 8, 2006)

Bow out? Gracefully? *P*-shaw! Did I mention that I take size 58 pants? You will, Miss *P*orkchop, must needs to circumvent my bulk to even get at them thar' *p*ies! I am big, I am fat and I am faster than heck! Aha! I keep yelling back at them skinny little kids on the street as I pass 'em by like a steam engine; "Get a horse there, sonny!" I will most certainly be gracious and allow you your half of the pies, but when it comes down to those last few bites, there will be a wild and glazed expressione' in my eyes! Aha! :shocked:  



porkchop said:


> Did you see that pie??????????
> I think I am in love........
> Maybe you should just bow out gracefully Obesus.....then no one will get hurt!
> 
> And Buff.....ever had a m & m shell in the eye....remember to wear protective eye wear.......


----------



## Buffie (Aug 8, 2006)

I give, Timberwolf... what's a kabob pantalope? 

M&M in the eye! Porkchop, you wouldn't! Would you? 

Why do you look so familiar sometimes, Obesus? Seriously, when people say you look like someone, what name do you hear over and over?


----------



## Obesus (Aug 8, 2006)

Yo!, Burl Ives! I also get Yo! Santa Claus! There was some other show-biz person, but I can't think of who it was exactly...I will have my people research the matter....Victor Buono? Sidney Greenstreet? Maybe, a bit...too perky for Orson Welles....Sam Kinnison? Ron Howard I used to get a lot when I was thinner...?



Buffie said:


> Why do you look so familiar sometimes, Obesus? Seriously, when people say you look like someone, what name do you hear over and over?


----------



## Jane (Aug 9, 2006)

NAH, they're not it...but I'm not telling.


----------



## Obesus (Aug 9, 2006)

....ahhhhh....uuuuuuuh...errrrrrr....duhhhhhhhh.....Homer Simpson with a goatee? A fat Maynard G. Krebs? Porky Pig? Oooooh...I am stretching!



Jane said:


> NAH, they're not it...but I'm not telling.


----------



## Obesus (Aug 9, 2006)

everybody says I look just like Lon Milo Duquette, the distinguished Thelemite and Crowley scholar! At the last SF Magick Meetup meeting, Mike even said I have the very same characteristic toothy grin! That has to be it...that is what everyone says these days!


----------



## porkchop (Aug 9, 2006)

Buffie said:


> I give, Timberwolf... what's a kabob pantalope?
> 
> M&M in the eye! Porkchop, you wouldn't! Would you?
> 
> Why do you look so familiar sometimes, Obesus? Seriously, when people say you look like someone, what name do you hear over and over?


Buffie...I would never hurt you on purpose but I can't be held liable or responsible for any flying debree from this here eat off......:eat1:


----------



## porkchop (Aug 9, 2006)

Obesus said:


> Bow out? Gracefully? *P*-shaw! Did I mention that I take size 58 pants? You will, Miss *P*orkchop, must needs to circumvent my bulk to even get at them thar' *p*ies! I am big, I am fat and I am faster than heck! Aha! I keep yelling back at them skinny little kids on the street as I pass 'em by like a steam engine; "Get a horse there, sonny!" I will most certainly be gracious and allow you your half of the pies, but when it comes down to those last few bites, there will be a wild and glazed expressione' in my eyes! Aha! :shocked:


I believe you ahve never delt with the wide hips of a hungry woman....
When used to their fullest they can be a very aggressive and effective obstacle clearing device. We are talking about pumpkin pie with whipped cream and ice cream......they will be reved up and in full swing ......so beware....


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 10, 2006)

Well, I think I'd better stay hanging around (literally) up here with my cam... seems to be getting interesting...

Who'll get the pie? Porkchop? Obesus? Or, as the laughing third, Buffie?
Or perhaps some surprise guest? Or fatlane?
Maybe we'll know after the next commercial break... So stay tuned...


----------



## Obesus (Aug 10, 2006)

Obstacle clearing? Ahem! Seems to me we might have something of a standoff here...immovable object meets infinite force kind of physics problem. 
Well, I shall be the perfect gentleman and allow you a most easy, commodious and untrammeled access to them pies, why yes I will, but you must reckon with the power, the majesty, the glory of....the Belly! Aha! :bow: I only bring the belly into play when there is serious business about...and pumpkin pies with whipped cream and ice cream is very serious business, as you note...we shall have our respective people discuss the peace-making proposals over pie, eh?  



porkchop said:


> I believe you ahve never delt with the wide hips of a hungry woman....
> When used to their fullest they can be a very aggressive and effective obstacle clearing device. We are talking about pumpkin pie with whipped cream and ice cream......they will be reved up and in full swing ......so beware....


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 10, 2006)

Well, shouldn't there have been a commercial? 
I think I'll have to take a look after it...


----------



## Buffie (Aug 10, 2006)

Obesus said:


> ....ahhhhh....uuuuuuuh...errrrrrr....duhhhhhhhh.....Homer Simpson with a goatee? A fat Maynard G. Krebs? Porky Pig? Oooooh...I am stretching!



That's it!


----------



## Buffie (Aug 10, 2006)

porkchop said:


> Buffie...I would never hurt you on purpose but I can't be held liable or responsible for any flying debree from this here eat off......:eat1:


Fair enough. :bow:


----------



## porkchop (Aug 11, 2006)

Obesus said:


> Obstacle clearing? Ahem! Seems to me we might have something of a standoff here...immovable object meets infinite force kind of physics problem.
> Well, I shall be the perfect gentleman and allow you a most easy, commodious and untrammeled access to them pies, why yes I will, but you must reckon with the power, the majesty, the glory of....the Belly! Aha! :bow: I only bring the belly into play when there is serious business about...and pumpkin pies with whipped cream and ice cream is very serious business, as you note...we shall have our respective people discuss the peace-making proposals over pie, eh?


Well that sounds like an excellent idea.....did I mention Buffie is "my people", she represents me.....so...you will have your work cut out for you....
She tends to have a few secret weapons that she uses...(or whips out) at will.....Please be prepared.


----------



## porkchop (Aug 11, 2006)

Buffie said:


> Fair enough. :bow:


GAME ON PEOPLE!!!!


----------



## Buffie (Aug 13, 2006)

porkchop said:


> Well that sounds like an excellent idea.....did I mention Buffie is "my people", she represents me.....so...you will have your work cut out for you....
> She tends to have a few secret weapons that she uses...(or whips out) at will.....Please be prepared.



Who me? ~makes innocent face~


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 13, 2006)

I think you'd better try practising that look some more...
Somehow it didn't work...


----------



## fatlane (Aug 13, 2006)

OK, so what's good to eat in China? We're taking your calls on the ups and downs of culinary traveling in the Middle Kingdom.


----------



## Buffie (Aug 13, 2006)

Timberwolf said:


> I think you'd better try practising that look some more...
> Somehow it didn't work...




:shocked: What's that, again? Didn't work. I can't imagine why.


----------



## Buffie (Aug 13, 2006)

fatlane said:


> OK, so what's good to eat in China? We're taking your calls on the ups and downs of culinary traveling in the Middle Kingdom.



I don't know if they serve these in China, but since I eat them at Chinese restaurants, it's easy to see why I'd assume it's eaten in China, right? 
Y'know those little fried bread things with the sugar on them? Ohmigawd, those are GOOOOD! I call them Chinese doughnuts, although I think they are actually whump-um biscuits, deep fried and rolled in granulated sugar. Yum yum!


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 13, 2006)

Buffie said:


> :shocked: What's that, again? Didn't work. I can't imagine why.


Maybe it's just me... It doesn't seem to be easy to fool me...
No clue why...


----------



## fatlane (Aug 13, 2006)

Buffie said:


> I don't know if they serve these in China, but since I eat them at Chinese restaurants, it's easy to see why I'd assume it's eaten in China, right?
> Y'know those little fried bread things with the sugar on them? Ohmigawd, those are GOOOOD! I call them Chinese doughnuts, although I think they are actually whump-um biscuits, deep fried and rolled in granulated sugar. Yum yum!


 YES. I will eat those. No chicken, though. I don't want to get the motherluvvin SARS.


----------



## Obesus (Aug 14, 2006)

Hopefully you are not in Guangdong province, which is the famous "ground-zero" for many forms of influenza and virus...if so, you might want to consider a portable antiviral immersion tank...I think the one from the lab ought to do..I can have it sent over parcel post!  



fatlane said:


> YES. I will eat those. No chicken, though. I don't want to get the motherluvvin SARS.


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 14, 2006)

Obesus said:


> Hopefully you are not in Guangdong province, which is the famous "ground-zero" for many forms of influenza and virus...if so, you might want to consider a portable antiviral immersion tank...I think the one from the lab ought to do..I can have it sent over parcel post!


Wouldn't it be faster to send it via eParcel?


----------



## fatlane (Aug 14, 2006)

Yes, we can use our 3-D printers on the other side to reconstruct the units.


----------



## Obesus (Aug 15, 2006)

....but what about the nifty and subtle lighting effects?  



fatlane said:


> Yes, we can use our 3-D printers on the other side to reconstruct the units.


----------



## fatlane (Aug 15, 2006)

That's gonna be tricksy. Looks like we'll have to recalibrate the oscilliscope for that one.


----------



## Buffie (Aug 17, 2006)

fatlane said:


> YES. I will eat those. No chicken, though. I don't want to get the motherluvvin SARS.



AAAAAK! SARS!!! I worked with this girl who seriously thought she had SARS. For like, weeks... she called in all the time and coughed and hacked and went to the doctor a dozen times. Turned out, she was just smoking too much pot and had to cut back to 3 bowls a day.


----------



## Buffie (Aug 17, 2006)

Timberwolf said:


> Maybe it's just me... It doesn't seem to be easy to fool me...
> No clue why...


Timberwolf! Your shoe is untied.












Nothing? No? Not even a glance?


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 17, 2006)

Nope.

I would have recognized that as I walked over here...


----------



## Obesus (Aug 17, 2006)

....that means that we have to reintercalinate the framulohyperoidoscope and dehingeulate the Buffiemeter....that would be just about nearly almost impossible in the 10th dimension....my advice, wear a surgical mask at all times and carefully coat your whole personnage in lots of vaseline! Oooooooh....yick! Yucky, but safe and hygienic!  



fatlane said:


> That's gonna be tricksy. Looks like we'll have to recalibrate the oscilliscope for that one.


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 17, 2006)

What about taking it to the 11th Dimensions? I've heard it should be easy to do impossible things there...

(Just an idea...)


----------



## fatlane (Aug 17, 2006)

New format: More Buffie, lots more Buffie. 

View attachment if_you_only_knew.jpg


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 17, 2006)

Great!


----------



## fatlane (Aug 17, 2006)

Keep buying the tacos for the green room spread, and we'll have more Buffie in more ways than one.


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## porkchop (Aug 18, 2006)

Perhaps we can use that image to create a signal light to shine in the sky when the tacos are fresh? You know like how Gotham calls Batman......
We could call it the Buffilluminator!


----------



## fatlane (Aug 18, 2006)

that's kinda long... how about... the Buffsignal?

Oooooh, if it gets Buffie to show up in a leather catsuit with thigh-high boots, a cowl, and a cape, I am SO IN for that. Heck, I'd get turned on if Obesus showed up dressed like that.


----------



## fatlane (Aug 18, 2006)

CLARIFICATION: Obesus, put those thigh-highs down. I got over-excited, there.


----------



## Obesus (Aug 18, 2006)

I suppose that if you _absolutely_ have to have more Buffie, then we can fire up the Buffietron and start the process! Uhhhhh....I wasn't supposed to mention that, was I? Ooops-a-daisy! At least I didn't mention the cosmic interferambulator....ooooooh....I am going to go have some taters because now I am upset!  



fatlane said:


> CLARIFICATION: Obesus, put those thigh-highs down. I got over-excited, there.


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 18, 2006)

Obesus, you needed a formula to recalibrate the Buffiemeter, right? Try this one:
*buffie&#178;=((tacos+salsa)&#179;+(M&Ms+cheesecake&#178&#178&#178;*


----------



## Obesus (Aug 19, 2006)

You rock! That has to be the best thing going since magnetohydrodynamics was invented! :shocked: 
 


Timberwolf said:


> Obesus, you needed a formula to recalibrate the Buffiemeter, right? Try this one:
> *buffie²=((tacos+salsa)³+(M&Ms+cheesecake²)²)²*


----------



## porkchop (Aug 19, 2006)

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm cheesecake!


----------



## fatlane (Aug 19, 2006)

Of course, one shouldn't keep Buffie squared. Buffie, like pi, are _round._


----------



## Jane (Aug 19, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Of course, one shouldn't keep Buffie squared. Buffie, like pi, are _round._


You are right that buffie....buffie....God, I can't even type it....squared thingee...That's Just Wrong. It's Wrong I Tell You!!!!


----------



## Obesus (Aug 19, 2006)

You mean cheesecake(s) in the plural, of course...since the ol' Obesus is now gonna' have to get him some o' them thar'! We second your nomination! Cheesecakes it is! Huzzah! :bow: 



porkchop said:


> mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm cheesecake!



Is is quite proper to have fruity cheesecakes or choclatey cheesecakes? I am thinking over here in the Fog o' Frisco that the only rightly proper cheesecake is the true and original format! What thinkst thou? Eh?


----------



## Obesus (Aug 19, 2006)

It was just an artifact of the original Buffietron process..we have corrected it in detail and it is now hyperround...however it is spinning so quickly with taco frenzy that I cannot secure an image. Say, this must needs remind one, that I need to invite Miss B. out for a delicious Taco at one of our famous SF Taquerias, should she ever choose to visit the City by the Bay! Hmmmm...that thought did not occur until I mentioned....the BUFFIETRON! AHA!:shocked: 



Jane said:


> You are right that buffie....buffie....God, I can't even type it....squared thingee...That's Just Wrong. It's Wrong I Tell You!!!!


----------



## fatlane (Aug 19, 2006)

I am so glad Buffie is a well-rounded person. Figuratively speaking, of course.


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 19, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Of course, one shouldn't keep Buffie squared. Buffie, like pi, are _round._


Well, that's easy: 
_*Buffie²=(pi²*r)²*_
You see?


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 19, 2006)

Timberwolf said:


> Well, that's easy:
> _*Buffie²=(pi²*r)²*_
> You see?


Ooops... twisted sisters...er, formulas...
_*Buffie²=(r²*pi)²*_


----------



## fatlane (Aug 19, 2006)

Buffie = tan(x)(pi), where x = the number of tacos on the buffet table.


----------



## Obesus (Aug 19, 2006)

....and it sounded really, really, really important! Not that Tacos aren't the staff of life, but we need dessert to go with that dynamite coffee, dude! :eat1:  



fatlane said:


> Buffie = tan(x)(pi), where x = the number of tacos on the buffet table.


----------



## fatlane (Aug 19, 2006)

Obviously, my equations need modification to account for newly observed data. Mayhap we should organize an expedition to view the Buffie in her natural surroundings to better understand this elusive slyph of beauty.

Obesus, timberwolf, and swamptoad can share the three-man tent. I get porkchop and jane as my tentmates in the one-man-two-woman tent.

Hey, that's all they had at the Wal-Mart when I went tent shopping. Besides, we don't need manly tents for the women.


----------



## Jane (Aug 19, 2006)

Road trip!!!! YAY!!!!!!!


----------



## fatlane (Aug 19, 2006)

We could do like Alton Brown's "Feasting on Asphalt".


----------



## porkchop (Aug 19, 2006)

Obesus...we can share the tent if you are bring the eats.....:eat2:


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## porkchop (Aug 19, 2006)

sorry Fatlane....ya gotta bribe me with something.....lol


----------



## Obesus (Aug 19, 2006)

Timber, Swamp and me will have a grand ol' time playing "Call of Cthulhu, Live" with full theatrical props and costumes...I am thinking a full reenactment of "At the Mountains of Madness", complete with the Ford Trimotor airplane! Should take a couple of weeks....kewl! Chance to bond.:bow: 



fatlane said:


> Obviously, my equations need modification to account for newly observed data. Mayhap we should organize an expedition to view the Buffie in her natural surroundings to better understand this elusive slyph of beauty.
> 
> Obesus, timberwolf, and swamptoad can share the three-man tent. I get porkchop and jane as my tentmates in the one-man-two-woman tent.
> 
> Hey, that's all they had at the Wal-Mart when I went tent shopping. Besides, we don't need manly tents for the women.


----------



## fatlane (Aug 19, 2006)

See those 120 cans in my avatar? Well, they're all #10 cans full of green M&Ms.

You want 'em? You bunk in MY tent.


----------



## Obesus (Aug 19, 2006)

My people are working the cheescake by the truck option with Master Fatlane, so I think it will work out to our mutual advantages!  :eat2: :eat1: 



porkchop said:


> sorry Fatlane....ya gotta bribe me with something.....lol


----------



## porkchop (Aug 19, 2006)

fatlane said:


> See those 120 cans in my avatar? Well, they're all #10 cans full of green M&Ms.
> 
> You want 'em? You bunk in MY tent.


You bring the cans...I will bring the sleeping bag.....


----------



## Obesus (Aug 19, 2006)

Hope you don't mind that all the food will start with the letter "P"...peas, perogies, potatoes, pastas, pizzas, pies and such! It is one of the peculiar habits of which I am inordinately fond and acclimated! :bow:  :eat1: 



porkchop said:


> Obesus...we can share the tent if you are bring the eats.....:eat2:


----------



## Obesus (Aug 19, 2006)

...the behind the scenes cigar-smoke filled rooms...I am downcast and heartbroken....Ok well then, all the cheesecake for me! AHA!  



porkchop said:


> You bring the cans...I will bring the sleeping bag.....


----------



## fatlane (Aug 19, 2006)

Obesus said:


> My people are working the cheescake by the truck option with Master Fatlane, so I think it will work out to our mutual advantages!  :eat2: :eat1:



I'll see your cheesecakes and raise you a lunch wagon in my caravan!







Plenty of old-time, down-home cookin' there!


----------



## porkchop (Aug 19, 2006)

Maybe this wagon will have booths that turn into sleeping quarters.....???


----------



## Obesus (Aug 19, 2006)

...all I can offer is some lousy perogies and FL has a whole fleet of lunchwagons with booths that turn into sleepers...it ain't fair, I tell ya'....we poor and downtrodden Dimensioneers need a union or sumtin'!  



porkchop said:


> Maybe this wagon will have booths that turn into sleeping quarters.....???


----------



## porkchop (Aug 19, 2006)

I hear your perogies are never lousy.......


----------



## fatlane (Aug 19, 2006)

Your table awaits... aw, heck, there's room for everyone if we rent a private train. Is it in the budget?


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## Obesus (Aug 19, 2006)

Might take a bit though...they usually respond by passenger pigeon! 



fatlane said:


> Your table awaits... aw, heck, there's room for everyone if we rent a private train. Is it in the budget?


----------



## Jane (Aug 19, 2006)

GOD!!!! I feel so CHEAP!!!!


----------



## fatlane (Aug 19, 2006)

Jane said:


> GOD!!!! I feel so CHEAP!!!!



Hey, we can't afford first class plane seats.


----------



## Jane (Aug 19, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Hey, we can't afford first class plane seats.


I don't fly.

You got that van ready yet?


----------



## fatlane (Aug 19, 2006)

Wait, is it van or train? I'm confused here.


----------



## Obesus (Aug 19, 2006)

That mysteriously fits inside a three-personnage tent...what, you never read "House of Leaves"? Sheesh!  :bow: 



fatlane said:


> Wait, is it van or train? I'm confused here.


----------



## fatlane (Aug 19, 2006)

OK, then, we're using modern magical realism to accomplish our trip. Works for me. Borges and Marquez will be in tent #3.


----------



## Obesus (Aug 19, 2006)

Rock on, dude! Slap in Carlton Mellick III and you're on!



fatlane said:


> OK, then, we're using modern magical realism to accomplish our trip. Works for me. Borges and Marquez will be in tent #3.


----------



## fatlane (Aug 20, 2006)

Done and done!

VRRRRROOOOM!


----------



## Buffie (Aug 20, 2006)

Jane said:


> You are right that buffie....buffie....God, I can't even type it....squared thingee...That's Just Wrong. It's Wrong I Tell You!!!!



They used to be square... but then I remembered to take the tissues out of the box. 
 

HUGS TO JANE!!!


----------



## Buffie (Aug 20, 2006)

fatlane said:


> New format: More Buffie, lots more Buffie.



Fatlane! Are you awesome or something because wow! That's totally cool of you. I feel like a muse. One who wears leather boots and kitty ears! (Note to self, procure leather boots.)

Thank you! I'm blushing to the max. :wubu:


----------



## Buffie (Aug 20, 2006)

Timberwolf said:


> Ooops... twisted sisters...er, formulas...
> _*Buffie²=(r²*pi)²*_



Buffie doesn't understand real math... let alone math jokes. :doh: 

Don't judge! It's hard for some people.


----------



## Buffie (Aug 20, 2006)

Obesus, you so silly! All your words and stuff! hee hee! I likes.


----------



## Buffie (Aug 20, 2006)

porkchop said:


> You bring the cans...I will bring the sleeping bag.....


 
Sleeping bag? Tent? Girlfriend, you are twice the woman I am. There are BUGS outdoors!!!! :shocked:


----------



## Jane (Aug 20, 2006)

Buffie said:


> Sleeping bag? Tent? Girlfriend, you are twice the woman I am. There are BUGS outdoors!!!! :shocked:


Actually, she's probably right. To observe the Buffie in her native habitat I think a hotel with room service would be a better hunting ground.


----------



## Obesus (Aug 20, 2006)

Miss Buffie, I am deeply honored to have been "hee-hee'd" by your noble and prestigious self, but I am....NOT WORTHY! Not worthy, not worthy, not worthy!  



Buffie said:


> Obesus, you so silly! All your words and stuff! hee hee! I likes.


----------



## fatlane (Aug 20, 2006)

Jane said:


> Actually, she's probably right. To observe the Buffie in her native habitat I think a hotel with room service would be a better hunting ground.



That's how we lure her in... you guys just keep the cameras rolling. Hopefully, she'll be in thigh-high boots when she shows up. I want that on camera.


----------



## Jane (Aug 20, 2006)

fatlane said:


> That's how we lure her in... you guys just keep the cameras rolling. Hopefully, she'll be in thigh-high boots when she shows up. I want that on camera.


and EVERYONE says post pix plz tanx


----------



## Obesus (Aug 20, 2006)

Oooooooh....I am thinking we better call Oliver Stone over for this one...wowzers! Epochal! Filmatic! Kodascopic!  



fatlane said:


> That's how we lure her in... you guys just keep the cameras rolling. Hopefully, she'll be in thigh-high boots when she shows up. I want that on camera.


----------



## fatlane (Aug 20, 2006)

OK... we wait... for the thigh-highs... couldn't get Stone, but I got Art Linklater... OK, everyone make a noise like a taco so she gets up here to the room...


----------



## Jane (Aug 20, 2006)

fatlane said:


> OK... we wait... for the thigh-highs... couldn't get Stone, but I got Art Linklater... OK, everyone make a noise like a taco so she gets up here to the room...


Hmmmm...a noise like a taco














CRUNCH


----------



## fatlane (Aug 20, 2006)

:: behaves like meat in a corn tortilla ::


----------



## Buffie (Aug 20, 2006)

Jane said:


> Actually, she's probably right. To observe the Buffie in her native habitat I think a hotel with room service would be a better hunting ground.



Can I get an Amen?


----------



## Buffie (Aug 20, 2006)

Obesus said:


> Miss Buffie, I am deeply honored to have been "hee-hee'd" by your noble and prestigious self, but I am....NOT WORTHY! Not worthy, not worthy, not worthy!



Duuuude, that's so COSMIC. I was watching a "Best of" Mike Meyers tonight. Wiiiild.


----------



## Buffie (Aug 20, 2006)

And the winner for "Best Line for Most Hilarious Out-of-Context Use" goes to.................



fatlane said:


> :: behaves like meat in a corn tortilla ::


----------



## fatlane (Aug 20, 2006)

Buffie said:


> And the winner for "Best Line for Most Hilarious Out-of-Context Use" goes to.................



It'll all be worth it if you're wearing thigh-high boots.


----------



## Buffie (Aug 20, 2006)

fatlane said:


> It'll all be worth it if you're wearing thigh-high boots.



Do you know how many auctions come up when you plug pink-glitter-thigh-high-plus-size boots into eBay? ~pout~


----------



## fatlane (Aug 20, 2006)

These lace up. I don't mind if they don't close all the way. Lattice laces are good.


----------



## Jane (Aug 21, 2006)

You try to walk in them first, FL.


----------



## fatlane (Aug 21, 2006)

Walk? I just want her to look SASSY! in them.


----------



## Jane (Aug 21, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Walk? I just want her to look SASSY! in them.


Oh, my bad.


----------



## fatlane (Aug 21, 2006)

OK, now hush!

:: blows the call of the wild taco ::


----------



## Jane (Aug 21, 2006)

fatlane said:


> OK, now hush!
> 
> :: blows the call of the wild taco ::


Ring, ring....Room Service


----------



## Buffie (Aug 27, 2006)

WHERE? ~sniff sniff~ 



fatlane said:


> OK, now hush!
> 
> :: blows the call of the wild taco ::


----------



## fatlane (Aug 27, 2006)

(BBC Announcer Voice)

HERE we see the WILD Buffie in her own... element... this... proud CREATURE... attracted to... TACOS and PINK PUMPS...


----------



## Obesus (Aug 28, 2006)

Should I prepare the tacos with or without the exotic chutney spices?




fatlane said:


> (BBC Announcer Voice)
> 
> HERE we see the WILD Buffie in her own... element... this... proud CREATURE... attracted to... TACOS and PINK PUMPS...


----------



## Obesus (Aug 28, 2006)

Let me tell you right here folks, that a restaurant chain called "The Pink Taco" is really trying to get Cardinals stadium renamed "Pink Taco Park." Well, folks, let me just tell you that when I Googled this matter I came up with some fascinating concepts, like releasing 100 bushels of crabs into the stadium and such, which has some esoteric meaning in some religion somewhere, I am sure: here is the matter at hand!

http://digg.com/football/Pink_Taco_Stadium_New_Home_of_the_AZ_Cardinals

Now, when I Image-Googled, let me just tell you that I was exposed to some pretty explicit material involving some kind of roughian performing gynecological exams of some sort on a steamy young lady...which I WILL NOT PUT into the clean and family-based environment of this here forum...nosirreebob! I did collect a few specimens for private examination later, which I am sure will be edifying! It is a vast relief to have studied this matter and to have conluded that it is completely and absolutely ridiculous!
Thanks to my special contacts out there...E...you rock! :bow:


----------



## fatlane (Aug 28, 2006)

Obesus, thank you for going where no man has gone before in finding the zero-entendre version of a "pink taco".


----------



## Obesus (Aug 28, 2006)

Just doing my conscientious duty as a fair and objective reporter on this whole Taco esplanade du moment! What fascinates and troubles me is that an American firm in the conservative and aspiring city of Scottsdale, AZ would create a furore of such magnitude in our age of good taste and refined moral values: troubling and perplexing, eh?

"In a city aspiring to be defined by its good taste, a new Mexican restaurant, the Pink Taco, is opening with a name that some find offensive. Scottsdale Mayor Mary Manross was so put off by the name, a slang term for vagina, that she asked its owner to change it. "I don't appreciate anything that offends more than half the population," Manross said. I really didn't want to see a business with that name opening anywhere here." 

Sounding more strip club than cantina, the restaurant isn't coy about the double entendre."

My mind is reeling with the cosmic implications, but dang, that thar' taco does looks pretty good, I must say! Yummers! :eat1: :eat2:  
Hmmmmmm...I must needs get me some foodstuffs and tasty comestibles..this talk about tacos is making me awful hungry-like! I have attached a piccy of a good ol' American type pure and wholesome hot dog to clear the air of any Freudian and troubling thoughts! Thank you!



fatlane said:


> Obesus, thank you for going where no man has gone before in finding the zero-entendre version of a "pink taco".


----------



## fatlane (Aug 28, 2006)

Mental note: start eating more Greek food...


----------



## activistfatgirl (Aug 28, 2006)

I've decided that it would be fun to go around and condemn things I don't understand, sorta like the good ole U.S. of A. Guess what? the "Buffie, Fatlane, and Friends" thread is getting my first BOOHISS stamp!


----------



## Buffie (Aug 28, 2006)

activistfatgirl said:


> I've decided that it would be fun to go around and condemn things I don't understand, sorta like the good ole U.S. of A. Guess what? the "Buffie, Fatlane, and Friends" thread is getting my first BOOHISS stamp!



Tacos... painted pink... of all things... AND grumpy kitty pictures!!!! It's my lucky day!!!!! YAY!!!!


----------



## porkchop (Aug 28, 2006)

I thought the cat was going for the bowl cut.....lol


----------



## Blackjack_Jeeves (Aug 28, 2006)

*GASP* Limecat returns?!?!?! Oh his power is too great!!!


----------



## fatlane (Aug 28, 2006)




----------



## Buffie (Aug 28, 2006)

porkchop said:


> I thought the cat was going for the bowl cut.....lol


Would he then be a Beatle or a cat?

Sings... I wanna hold your pawwwww, I wanna hold your paw!


----------



## Buffie (Aug 28, 2006)

fatlane said:


>




      

Fatlane, that is so wrong! So deliciously WRONG!


----------



## swamptoad (Aug 28, 2006)

M&Ms anyone?

View attachment 800px-M%26M%27s_Plain.jpg


----------



## Ericthonius (Aug 29, 2006)

Only one question:

_Is that, 'Pussy-Taco'? Or, 'Taco-Pussy'?_







fatlane said:


>





*But you DID Post Pic-Pls&Thx!*


----------



## swamptoad (Aug 29, 2006)

Looks more like... don't you even dare add hot sauce! :shocked:


----------



## fatlane (Aug 29, 2006)

Spanish rice, anyone?


----------



## Jane (Aug 29, 2006)

It's cool outside this morning, there's a nip of fall in the air....almost BUFFIE DAY!!!!!


----------



## fatlane (Aug 29, 2006)

Any day that ends in "Y" can be BUFFIE DAY if you have enough CATS, TACOS, and M&Ms on hand!


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 29, 2006)

OK, let's see...
One house full of cats...
One taco-filled catering truck...
One pick up truck of M&Ms...

Would this be enough for a Buffie Day (or two)?


----------



## Obesus (Aug 30, 2006)

Like a good ol' sandwich, a cup o' Joe and a few Donut Stix to perk ya' up. Now all this fancy talk o' M&M candies and tacos is fine, well and dandy, but where is the ol' pepper, the spirit and the pizazz, eh? Well, I am havin' me a nice sammich, a cup o' Joe and some Donut Stix right now and I will tell you that they are just heavenly! Right up there with that pumpkin pie and whipped cream. C'mon over to the ranchero if you have a mind to do so and sit yourself down up front in the Fortress of Despair while I make you a nice and special sandwich of your own! :bow:


----------



## porkchop (Aug 30, 2006)

Obesus said:


> Like a good ol' sandwich, a cup o' Joe and a few Donut Stix to perk ya' up. Now all this fancy talk o' M&M candies and tacos is fine, well and dandy, but where is the ol' pepper, the spirit and the pizazz, eh? Well, I am havin' me a nice sammich, a cup o' Joe and some Donut Stix right now and I will tell you that they are just heavenly! Right up there with that pumpkin pie and whipped cream. C'mon over to the ranchero if you have a mind to do so and sit yourself down up front in the Fortress of Despair while I make you a nice and special sandwich of your own! :bow:


Dammit people....it is early morning here and all this talk of m & m's and doughnuts has my stomach saying..."um hello? Did you forget about me? it has been a bit......" and I have NEITHER !!! Neither I say! What is a girl to do...?


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 30, 2006)

*shoves a sandwich and a bag of M&Ms over the pond*


----------



## porkchop (Aug 30, 2006)

Timberwolf said:


> *shoves a sandwich and a bag of M&Ms over the pond*


Well thank you Sir! You shouldn't have...but since you did... :eat1:


----------



## Buffie (Aug 30, 2006)

Jane said:


> It's cool outside this morning, there's a nip of fall in the air....almost BUFFIE DAY!!!!!



Buffie Day?! What's that? Sounds like fun! Let's drink Pink beer!!!! :eat2:


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 30, 2006)

Buffie said:


> Buffie Day?! What's that? Sounds like fun! Let's drink Pink beer!!!! :eat2:


Pink? Well, if you've got some green beer with pink dots...


----------



## Buffie (Aug 30, 2006)

Pink dots like ice cream Dots? In beer? Like a beer float? Uhh... hmm... I'm not sure what to think about that. But hell, I'll try anything once. Why not?


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Aug 31, 2006)

Buffie said:


> Pink dots like ice cream Dots? In beer? Like a beer float? Uhh... hmm... I'm not sure what to think about that. But hell, I'll try anything once. Why not?


Hmm...beer float...I'll take one too...after all Dots are the Ice Cream of the future...


----------



## porkchop (Aug 31, 2006)

You guys can keep the beer just give me the dots...


----------



## Jane (Aug 31, 2006)

porkchop said:


> You guys can keep the beer just give me the dots...


I'll take her beer.


----------



## porkchop (Aug 31, 2006)

Jane said:


> I'll take her beer.


See it all works out!!


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 31, 2006)

*cue for a Beatles tune*

... we can work it out...


----------



## Jane (Aug 31, 2006)

Where is Free when I need him? If I'm going to drink TWO beer allotments, I need a driver.

(Hope he's having fun on vacation.)


----------



## fatlane (Aug 31, 2006)

The producers want us to do more science stuff like on Mythbusters. I say we go with exploding cans of pudding.


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Aug 31, 2006)

fatlane said:


> The producers want us to do more science stuff like on Mythbusters. I say we go with exploding cans of pudding.


In the microwave?


----------



## fatlane (Aug 31, 2006)

OK. That and getting Buffie stuck in very skimpy lab coats. There's some kind of science we can do with that, right?


----------



## TH3_GH0$T (Aug 31, 2006)

fatlane said:


> OK. That and getting Buffie stuck in very skimpy lab coats. There's some kind of science we can do with that, right?


There HAS to be...if not let's make it up...


----------



## fatlane (Aug 31, 2006)

um... is it possible to rip a tight lab coat simply by breathing heavily?


----------



## Ericthonius (Aug 31, 2006)

Buffie said:


> Buffie Day?! What's that? Sounds like fun! Let's drink Pink beer!!!! :eat2:



Yep! It does sound like fun and I know how to make the beer pink!

Add tomato juice to the beer until the desired pinkness is achieved. A/K/A, 'Irish Bloody Mary.'


----------



## Buffie (Aug 31, 2006)

fatlane said:


> OK. That and getting Buffie stuck in very skimpy lab coats. There's some kind of science we can do with that, right?


~Sings~ Fat chick in a little coat...


----------



## Buffie (Aug 31, 2006)

Ericthonius said:


> Yep! It does sound like fun and I know how to make the beer pink!
> 
> Add tomato juice to the beer until the desired pinkness is achieved. A/K/A, 'Irish Bloody Mary.'



Yummers! I'll take two!


----------



## fatlane (Sep 1, 2006)

Buffie said:


> ~Sings~ Fat chick in a little coat...



We could also check on the urban legend that people have eaten so many tacos in one sitting, it caused a button to pop off the lab coat they were wearing, yet left their 6" pink stilletto f*** me pumps untouched. I think cat ears were also involved in this legend...


----------



## Jane (Sep 1, 2006)

fatlane said:


> We could also check on the urban legend that people have eaten so many tacos in one sitting, it caused a button to pop off the lab coat they were wearing, yet left their 6" pink stilletto f*** me pumps untouched. I think cat ears were also involved in this legend...


I checked snopes. This is NOT a just a legend. WHEW It's good to have some of your childhood faith restored.

Oh, I've started laying in some of the supplies for Buffie Day. I always get so excited this time of year.

I can't wait for Buffie Claus to show up!!!!!!! (Thank you FL for that one!!!)


----------



## fatlane (Sep 1, 2006)

You better watch out, you better not cry
You better not pout, I'm telling you why
Buffie Claus is comin' to town

She's making a list, checkin' it twice
Gonna load up on tacos and rice
Buffie Claus is comin' to town...


----------



## Buffie (Sep 2, 2006)

You guyses are so silly silly! Buffie Claws. ~Giggles~ 

Jingle Buff Jingle Buff Jingle all... hold on a minute...

Jiggle Buff Jiggle Buff Jiggle all the way!!! That's better. =)

Hugs and junk and purrs and stuff like that for you crazy kids. Hope y'all are having a dandy Labor Day weekend.


----------



## fatlane (Sep 2, 2006)

Workin' hard to please all you folks out there in TV land!


----------



## porkchop (Sep 2, 2006)

Maybe we can get the fans to call in with their favourite songs o' Buffie???


----------



## fatlane (Sep 2, 2006)

Obesus will accompany on bagpipes and theremin.


----------



## porkchop (Sep 2, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Obesus will accompany on bagpipes and theremin.


I can play the spoons......if that will help....


----------



## fatlane (Sep 2, 2006)

I got two turntables and a microphone.


----------



## porkchop (Sep 2, 2006)

Oh my....aren't we high tech!!!


----------



## fatlane (Sep 2, 2006)

Damn skippy we're high tech. And this is my 5997th post. I need to get ready for post #6000.


----------



## porkchop (Sep 2, 2006)

you prepare and I will help you out...


----------



## fatlane (Sep 2, 2006)

Gettin' ready. And with this post, I'm one closer.


----------



## porkchop (Sep 2, 2006)

So is your hair all combed and your shirt tucked in...?
You have to be ready for the cameras....


----------



## fatlane (Sep 2, 2006)

I'm looking damn smokin' hot. And here's number 5999.


----------



## porkchop (Sep 2, 2006)

Let's have us some music please...
Ladies and Gentlemen....please welcome........
FATLANE!!!!!!!!!


----------



## fatlane (Sep 2, 2006)

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=11748

BAM.

I kick it up a notch just by lookin' at it.


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 3, 2006)

Yeah. Quite cool...


----------



## Jane (Sep 3, 2006)

FL......where it's at.....


----------



## fatlane (Sep 3, 2006)

Tag, you're it.


----------



## Obesus (Sep 3, 2006)

...did I lose control over the clean, technological and scientific format of this thread? Things were going so well....and then this "Fatlane" character hits his 6,000th post and all hell breaks loose...like somethin' outta' Iwo Jima! Uhhhh.....just noticed that he started this yar' thread here....oopsie! Gotta' run, I hear my date callin' me...name o' Lil Debbie...damn, that woman can cook! Yee-Haw! :smitten: :eat2: :eat1:


----------



## fatlane (Sep 3, 2006)

Nobody doesn't like [NAME WITHHELD TO AVOID LEGAL ENTANGLEMENTS]!


----------



## Obesus (Sep 3, 2006)

Vampira? Buffie? Porkchop? Ohhhhh...I'll think of it....I just know I will!  



fatlane said:


> Nobody doesn't like [NAME WITHHELD TO AVOID LEGAL ENTANGLEMENTS]!


----------



## fatlane (Sep 3, 2006)

Dude. Those Chinese propaganda posters... I never can get enough of them.


----------



## porkchop (Sep 3, 2006)

Would someone please help me out of this damn pig costume....it is sooo hot in here!!!


----------



## fatlane (Sep 3, 2006)

Right after the photo shoot... wallow for me baby, WALLOW! 

:: snaps the awesome camera with high shutter speed and properly-set f stop ::


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 3, 2006)

Well, have some ice to cool down... I can't find a way to open it... Uhm, Obesus, would you be so kind to explain this mechanism to me?


----------



## Obesus (Sep 3, 2006)

Well, sure, you just give it a twist like this......errrr.....why is it ticking now? Uhhhhhh...gotta' run! Seeya! :shocked: 



Timberwolf said:


> Well, have some ice to cool down... I can't find a way to open it... Uhm, Obesus, would you be so kind to explain this mechanism to me?


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 4, 2006)

*taking a close look at the graphic*
Oh, I see. . .
Here, porkchop, some more ice for you to kkep cool, this will be some kind of hot dance if I don't get it right. . . 
Oookayy, carefull... ah, found it... now turn it clockwise... the ticking stops...
*starts to sweat, a drop falls onto the mechanism*
Uh-oh... *a clicking sound* Huh? It opens? 
OK, porkchop, you're free again...


----------



## fatlane (Sep 4, 2006)

Next episode will be live on location exactly 12,000 miles away from whatever it is Obesus brought to the surface. Don't miss it.


----------



## Buffie (Sep 4, 2006)

porkchop said:


> I can play the spoons......if that will help....


Bagpips, spoons and a theremin. I smell "Top 40!" 

~puts fingers in ears, just in case~



~.... realizes too late that nails are a bit too long... ouch...~


----------



## fatlane (Sep 4, 2006)

_You must spread some Reputation around before *giving it to Buffie* again._

Say... is this rep message implying we're having carnal relations? IF SO, WHAT BUFFIE AND I DO IN THE CATERING TRAILER IS NONE OF ITS BUSINESS AND I WISH IT WOULD KEEP FROM BLABBING ABOUT IT ALL OVER THE SET!


----------



## Obesus (Sep 4, 2006)

...that was just a complicated piece of Elder God machinery that I was handed by some friendly fat dude with an elephant nose when I was standing over by that cavern entrance in Golden Gate Park...errrr...the entrance that isn't there anymore, now that I look for it! Omigosh...that thing could have repurcussions or percussions or even Robitussins involved! Yikes!:shocked: 




fatlane said:


> Next episode will be live on location exactly 12,000 miles away from whatever it is Obesus brought to the surface. Don't miss it.


----------



## fatlane (Sep 4, 2006)

_You must spread some Reputation around before *giving it to Obesus* again._

These rumors are getting vicious. First Buffie, now Obesus... _and I'm not even running for office!_

When will these lies and innuendo cease?


----------



## porkchop (Sep 4, 2006)

Slow down with shovellling in the ice .....you will drown me in here....
are we almost done with the picture shoot...I think Buffie's butt is getting sore sitting on that little stool...


----------



## fatlane (Sep 4, 2006)

_You must spread some Reputation around before *giving it to porkchop* again._

AIIIIIIIEEEE! I AM NOT SLEEPING WITH THIS, OR ANY OTHER INTERN!!!

What am I, the victim of a vast authoritarian conspiracy?


----------



## Obesus (Sep 4, 2006)

....minions, henchpersons and interns! That is power...take poor me for instance...I only have 3.65 Gigs of photo images stored on the old D drive 55.65 still to go...but I will get there! Soon I will have POWER of my own! Muahahhahhahah! Uhhhhhh....oops! Gotta' git go and water brains before the kittens start messing with them again!  
You kewl, K?



fatlane said:


> _You must spread some Reputation around before *giving it to porkchop* again._
> 
> AIIIIIIIEEEE! I AM NOT SLEEPING WITH THIS, OR ANY OTHER INTERN!!!
> 
> What am I, the victim of a vast authoritarian conspiracy?


----------



## fatlane (Sep 4, 2006)

THE BRAINS DO NOT NEED WATERING WHILE I AM TRYING TO FEND OFF A BIG OL' GREEN THING THAT PROBABLY STARTS WITH A Z AND ENDS WITH -ON OR SOME OTHER SCI FI ENDING! GET ME MY LAZOR BLASTER!!! NOWWWW!!!!







Or do you want me to take out a want ad to find out if good help is still hard to find? NOW BRING ME MY FIREPOWER!!!!


----------



## Jane (Sep 4, 2006)

Hands FL his sonic disruptor....only thing I could find, Dude. Told you to plug everything else in to recharge, but No......


----------



## Obesus (Sep 4, 2006)

That is what I get for trying to type the word "Dude" in the pitch dark of the Fortress of Plentitude here....I dropped some pasta alfredo too....must needs get me some mood lighting in here...!  




Obesus said:


> ....minions, henchpersons and interns! That is power...take poor me for instance...I only have 3.65 Gigs of photo images stored on the old D drive 55.65 still to go...but I will get there! Soon I will have POWER of my own! Muahahhahhahah! Uhhhhhh....oops! Gotta' git go and water brains before the kittens start messing with them again!
> You kewl, K?


----------



## Obesus (Sep 4, 2006)

...this here thingamajiggybobbadoodle!?????




fatlane said:


> THE BRAINS DO NOT NEED WATERING WHILE I AM TRYING TO FEND OFF A BIG OL' GREEN THING THAT PROBABLY STARTS WITH A Z AND ENDS WITH -ON OR SOME OTHER SCI FI ENDING! GET ME MY LAZOR BLASTER!!! NOWWWW!!!!
> 
> Or do you want me to take out a want ad to find out if good help is still hard to find? NOW BRING ME MY FIREPOWER!!!!


----------



## Obesus (Sep 4, 2006)

...thank you muchsomely for the sonic disruptor, but as I was cleaning out the Crypt in the Fortress of Plentitude, I found his mighty ATOMIC BLASTER! The day is won, methinks! Thankies anyhoo!  



Jane said:


> Hands FL his sonic disruptor....only thing I could find, Dude. Told you to plug everything else in to recharge, but No......


----------



## Obesus (Sep 4, 2006)

...that this has turned into a vast Role-Playing-Game, somehow???? Could it be that vast cosmic forces have entered the Buffietron and Porkchoptron and created a NEW REALITY? Hmmmmm? Pst Pix Plz Tnks! :shocked:


----------



## Obesus (Sep 5, 2006)

Found the smoke-ring gun! Now FL's life is safe! Relief!


----------



## Ericthonius (Sep 5, 2006)

Obesus said:


> Found the smoke-ring gun! Now FL's life is safe! Relief!


I didn't realize that the old _*Camel*_ billboard from _Times Square_, last seen in, "_A Night at the Opera_", starring the Marx Brothers, had broken it's chains and was on the loose. Searching for it's nemesis, FL.

I'd 'a never guessed. It's been in hiding since it was taken down in 1966, it seems. Waiting for it's _chance_.


----------



## Obesus (Sep 5, 2006)

The profound passions of the objet trouve, the discarded bit of litter thrown in the gutter for our Dadaist artist to discover, the Marxian economies of desire and repression...the sheer dumfiddlery of it all! Oh, the humanity! 



Ericthonius said:


> I didn't realize that the old _*Camel*_ billboard from _Times Square_, last seen in, "_A Night at the Opera_", starring the Marx Brothers, had broken it's chains and was on the loose. Searching for it's nemesis, FL.
> 
> I'd 'a never guessed. It's been in hiding since it was taken down in 1966, it seems. Waiting for it's _chance_.


----------



## Ericthonius (Sep 5, 2006)

Obesus said:


> The profound passions of the objet trouve, the discarded bit of litter thrown in the gutter for our Dadaist artist to discover, the Marxian economies of desire and repression...the sheer dumfiddlery of it all! Oh, the humanity!



Yes, indeed! I'm glad to see that you too were schooled in the ways of Marx and Lennon...
View attachment all-hail.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Sep 5, 2006)

OK, Green thing gone, but HOW AM I TO DEAL WITH THIS PROBLEM???


----------



## Obesus (Sep 5, 2006)

...that really really scary HTML code that comes up when you punch the dealy-frammus? Oooooh....gives me the heebie-jeebies and hives too!



fatlane said:


> OK, Green thing gone, but HOW AM I TO DEAL WITH THIS PROBLEM???


----------



## fatlane (Sep 5, 2006)

Somebody get this guy a shave and a fish.


----------



## Obesus (Sep 5, 2006)

Jenny Finn!



fatlane said:


> Somebody get this guy a shave and a fish.


----------



## Buffie (Sep 6, 2006)

fatlane said:


> _You must spread some Reputation around before *giving it to Obesus* again._
> 
> These rumors are getting vicious. First Buffie, now Obesus... _and I'm not even running for office!_
> 
> When will these lies and innuendo cease?



Lies? Whateva. Everyone knows you're a man-whore. :shocked:


----------



## fatlane (Sep 6, 2006)

Buffie said:


> Lies? Whateva. Everyone knows you're a man-whore. :shocked:



Not lately. I'm in a 12-step program.


----------



## Jane (Sep 6, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Not lately. I'm in a 12-step program.


That's 4 steps back, 8 steps forward.


----------



## Buffie (Sep 6, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Not lately. I'm in a 12-step program.


Oh really? Name 3 steps.


----------



## fatlane (Sep 6, 2006)

Gimme three steps, gimme three steps mister
Gimme three steps towards the door
Gimme three steps, gimme three steps mister
And you'll never see ol' me no more


----------



## Obesus (Sep 6, 2006)

Does this mean that I should cancel your knitting class tonight? I would take over, but I have a touch of the galloping frammuses in my noggin! Ouch! 



fatlane said:


> Gimme three steps, gimme three steps mister
> Gimme three steps towards the door
> Gimme three steps, gimme three steps mister
> And you'll never see ol' me no more


----------



## fatlane (Sep 6, 2006)

Musical guest: Vera Bila, don't go away!


----------



## Obesus (Sep 6, 2006)

She is the fabulous Romany singer who was invited to a fancy reception in her honor and astonished the reporters by devouring almost the entire catering effort! Russia it was, where that happened, I believe...she is noted for her hearty appetite.....hey, wait a minute, you don't mean...you can't possibly mean..a three way taco/m&m/Romany delicacies eat-off between Buffie, Porkchop and Vera? Oh, my goat in himmel! :shocked: 
Can I sell tickets at school? Please?! Pretty please?!



fatlane said:


> Musical guest: Vera Bila, don't go away!


----------



## fatlane (Sep 6, 2006)

Obesus, you might just have gotten promoted to "Assistant Producer". Now start booking the talent and the tacos!


----------



## Obesus (Sep 6, 2006)

Gonna' be some sweet down home Romany style Country music with a British beat! Wa-hooooey! OK...I have 2,500 tickets already printed up and I am thinking, gosh...I will have to do some calculation on the respective competitors taco-gustatory capabilities....I mean Vera ate a whole table's worth o' goodies! Dang! Maybe a test match, just for calculation purposes?
I have my people in touch with everyone else's people to do lunch with their people so we can talk about talking to people about talking! Yay!   



fatlane said:


> Obesus, you might just have gotten promoted to "Assistant Producer". Now start booking the talent and the tacos!


----------



## fatlane (Sep 6, 2006)

Get a camera crew so we can have a "Making of" bonus on the DVD we'll sell later.


----------



## Obesus (Sep 6, 2006)

That's why YOU the boss! :bow: :bow: :bow: Uhhh do you have any spare super-8 film laying around?



fatlane said:


> Get a camera crew so we can have a "Making of" bonus on the DVD we'll sell later.


----------



## fatlane (Sep 7, 2006)

Super 8, comin' up!


----------



## Obesus (Sep 7, 2006)

...that that thar' place is whar the Super-8 film lives? Might it be? Proper, like!:bow: (In geezer-mode today)


----------



## Jane (Sep 7, 2006)

Obesus said:


> ...that that thar' place is whar the Super-8 film lives? Might it be? Proper, like!:bow: (In geezer-mode today)


Don't encourage him when he stoops this low...bending over maybe...stooping, NO.


----------



## porkchop (Sep 7, 2006)

Can I have a menu list ahead of time so that I can prepare??? One likes to be in the best shape they can be for these things.......


----------



## Obesus (Sep 7, 2006)

So far, I am thinking that the menu will consist of tacos, tacos, some more tacos, M&M's, M&M's, some more M&M's, some Romany delicacies, about which I have no clue whatsoever yet and then I will be bringing a couple of buckets of donut stix for myself so that I don't get too hungry watching all that eatin' goin' on...maybe some Pasta Alfredo! Fatlane can bring his own dang donut stix! Harumph...imagine, sticking me with all of the details! Harumph!
Sound good?  I just want to make sure that all parties are happy with the menu! 



porkchop said:


> Can I have a menu list ahead of time so that I can prepare??? One likes to be in the best shape they can be for these things.......


----------



## porkchop (Sep 7, 2006)

Sounds amazing...
Can we some shrimp on that fetticini alfredo??
Pleassssssssssseeeee...
And if you are doing sticks...why not some garlic bread sticks??? Sound good?


----------



## fatlane (Sep 7, 2006)

Gonna have a crawdad boil, too!


----------



## Obesus (Sep 7, 2006)

That thar' is a mass o' fine-lookin' seafood of some kind or other! Yummy! I am now reconsidering my earlier hasty "harumphs' in the matter of being stuck with the menu, now that you have brought along these tasty treats..whatever they may be! Yummalicious! :eat2: :eat1:  



fatlane said:


> Gonna have a crawdad boil, too!


----------



## Obesus (Sep 7, 2006)

Why sure, I'll be happy to share and slap on a few pound o' shrimp while I am at it...lovin' that there seafood type foods! 



porkchop said:


> Sounds amazing...
> Can we some shrimp on that fetticini alfredo??
> Pleassssssssssseeeee...
> And if you are doing sticks...why not some garlic bread sticks??? Sound good?



Garlic bread sticks...gonna' need quite a few of them thar'! Sure!


----------



## porkchop (Sep 8, 2006)

Obesus said:


> Why sure, I'll be happy to share and slap on a few pound o' shrimp while I am at it...lovin' that there seafood type foods!
> 
> 
> 
> Garlic bread sticks...gonna' need quite a few of them thar'! Sure!


If you could veto any brocolli in the fettecini that would be good....no way I am eating brocolli....none....


----------



## Jane (Sep 8, 2006)

porkchop said:


> If you could veto any brocolli in the fettecini that would be good....no way I am eating brocolli....none....


Okay, I'm taking her beer, now her brocolli.

No one better sit within 10 feet of me. This is a warning.


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 8, 2006)

Any chance to find out the reason why?


----------



## Jane (Sep 8, 2006)

Beer, brocolli....think about it.


----------



## porkchop (Sep 8, 2006)

Jane can sit beside me at all meals....I will descreetly pass her all of my unwanted items.....and love her for it!!!


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 8, 2006)

Jane said:


> Beer, brocolli....think about it.


Well, I don't drink beer and I don't eat broccoli... So, clues stay away from me...

You may PM me if you don't want to spread it around here...


----------



## Jane (Sep 8, 2006)

Timberwolf said:


> Well, I don't drink beer and I don't eat broccoli... So, clues stay away from me...
> 
> You may PM me if you don't want to spread it around here...


Both are gas inducing substances.


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 8, 2006)

I see... I don't need any special food for some time past... Just a little stress and I feel like a balloon...


----------



## fatlane (Sep 8, 2006)

Balloon, huh... so you want LutherVKane as our next guest?


----------



## Obesus (Sep 9, 2006)

Foe of Werewoofs with his faithful sidekick Desmond? Him? I thought he was only interested in blood-gas! ROFL!



fatlane said:


> Balloon, huh... so you want LutherVKane as our next guest?


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 9, 2006)

Werewoofs? Foe?  :shocked: (imagine these two expressions in my face at the same time)


----------



## Obesus (Sep 9, 2006)

One of the main members of the SF Magick Meetupgroup has the theory that everyone in the world is either a werewoof, vampyr, witch or zombie. It is kind of a personality test for the occult. So, he and I have devised various tests and have determined ourselves to be werewoof people. This is interesting, since when I was living at the Vats in SF back in the Punker days, Kristine Ambrosia and I had a pet woof named Guinevere, who was half woof and half Shepherd pooch. She was actually much more woof, since we also had two unclipped Dobermans and G. was extremily territorial and wild compared to the big poochacuses. I am a also Bear, Pooch and Bunny Clan person as a shaman...Woof is in there with the Poochacus clan since they are closely related.
Now, when the "Nightwatch" movie came out from Russia with a similar theme...of the World being divided up into opposing camps of Werewoofs, Vampyr, etc, we did a double-take and thought, hmmm.this thing may have some thoughts to it! So, we continue to explore our werewoofacusness and enjoying the occasional vampyr or zombie-baiting! Hence, the Luther Kane reference (even though I know that FL was referring to the Luther V. Kane of Body Inflation fame) was cool...and slightly spooky! :shocked: :shocked: :shocked: 



Timberwolf said:


> Werewoofs? Foe?  :shocked: (imagine these two expressions in my face at the same time)


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 9, 2006)

You know, I was asking because of two reasons:
1. I'm a casual werewolf (or woof, as you say)
2. My dictionary doesn't know the term "foe", and I'm lost in guessing...

Uhm... BTW, who's Luther Kane? Is he part of that movie you mentioned?


----------



## fatlane (Sep 9, 2006)

Nochnoy Dozor looks like a good film to check out... noted and filed away for reference...


----------



## Obesus (Sep 9, 2006)

I _knew_ youse was French, or sumthin' like dat!  :bow: 



fatlane said:


> Nochnoy Dozor looks like a good film to check out... noted and filed away for reference...


----------



## fatlane (Sep 9, 2006)

_Les laisser manger le g&#226;teau!_


----------



## Obesus (Sep 9, 2006)

Ya' know...and someday I may even figure out how to work it as fancy as you! Oooooooooh...."To let eat the cake"....oh, playin' Marie Antoinetta over there, eh? Well, J'ai déjà mangé le fichu gâteau! Is what I gots to say to that! Eh? Hah! Well then! Aha! Full o' beans tonight I am, I am! :bow: 



fatlane said:


> _Les laisser manger le gâteau!_


----------



## fatlane (Sep 9, 2006)

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart!


----------



## Obesus (Sep 9, 2006)

Maybe a pudding or two...just to change the pace from French to Irish, just found out that the Grove Press centenary edition of the works of Samuel Beckett can be had for a mere $63 American! Whoa! I am sure I can find a second job or wait until my next paycheck...I am obsessed with "Waiting for Godot"...expresses me life in existential terms, it does! After this public announcement, back to Buffie, Porkchop and Friends....I got me some existential cookin' to get busy with and it don't involve the beans at'all atol! Hmmm...wasn't someone else in that group somewhere....oh...Timberwolf! Kewl! :bow: 



fatlane said:


> Beans, beans, they're good for your heart!


----------



## fatlane (Sep 9, 2006)

Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaquaqua with white beard quaquaquaqua outside time without extension who from the heights of divine apathia divine athambia divine aphasia loves us dearly with some exceptions for reasons unknown but time will tell and suffers like the divine Miranda with those who for reasons unknown but time will tell are plunged in torment plunged in fire whose fire flames if that continues and who can doubt it will fire the firmament that is to say blast hell to heaven so blue still and calm so calm with a calm which even though intermittent is better than nothing but not so fast and considering what is more that as a result of the labors left unfinished crowned by the Acacacacademy of Anthropopopometry of Essy-in-Possy of Testew and Cunard it is established beyond all doubt all other doubt than that which clings to the labors of men that as a result of the labors unfinished of Testew and Cunnard it is established as hereinafter but not so fast for reasons unknown that as a result of the public works of Puncher and Wattmann it is established beyond all doubt that in view of the labors of Fartov and Belcher left unfinished for reasons unknown of Testew and Cunard left unfinished it is established what many deny that man in Possy of Testew and Cunard that man in Essy that man in short that man in brief in spite of the strides of alimentation and defecation wastes and pines wastes and pines and concurrently simultaneously what is more for reasons unknown in spite of the strides of physical culture the practice of sports such as tennis football running cycling swimming flying floating riding gliding conating camogie skating tennis of all kinds dying flying sports of all sorts autumn summer winter winter tennis of all kinds hockey of all sorts penicillin and succedanea in a word I resume flying gliding golf over nine and eighteen holes tennis of all sorts in a word for reasons unknown in Feckham Peckham Fulham Clapham namely concurrently simultaneously what is more for reasons unknown but time will tell fades away I resume Fulham Clapham in a word the dead loss per head since the death of Bishop Berkeley being to the tune of one inch four ounce per head approximately by and large more or less to the nearest decimal good measure round figures stark naked in the stockinged feet in Connemara in a word for reasons unknown no matter what matter the facts are there and considering what is more much more grave that in the light of the labors lost of Steinweg and Peterman it appears what is more much more grave that in the light the light the light of the labors lost of Steinweg and Peterman that in the plains in the mountains by the seas by the rivers running water running fire the air is the same and then the earth namely the air and then the earth in the great cold the great dark the air and the earth abode of stones in the great cold alas alas in the year of their Lord six hundred and something the air the earth the sea the earth abode of stones in the great deeps the great cold on sea on land and in the air I resume for reasons unknown in spite of the tennis the facts are there but time will tell I resume alas alas on on in short in fine on on abode of stones who can doubt it I resume but not so fast I resume the skull fading fading fading and concurrently simultaneously what is more for reasons unknown in spite of the tennis on on the beard the flames the tears the stones so blue so calm alas alas on on the skull the skull the skull the skull in Connemara in spite of the tennis the labors abandoned left unfinished graver still abode of stones in a word I resume alas alas abandoned unfinished the skull the skull in Connemara in spite of the tennis the skull alas the stones Cunard. . . tennis . . . the stones . . . so calm . . . Cunard . . . unfinished . . .


----------



## fatlane (Sep 9, 2006)

Today... I am the luckiest man... on the face of the earth.


----------



## Obesus (Sep 9, 2006)

That is, like *dark green*, man! I am diggin' on your wolf-crackers! Dancin' the Funky Chicken! Two turntables and a microphone!



fatlane said:


> Given the existence yada yada yada of Puncher and Wattmann it is established beyond all doubt that in view of the labors of Fartov and Belcher left unfinished for reasons unknown of Testew and Cunard left unfinished, blag blag blag . . .


----------



## fatlane (Sep 10, 2006)

Next up on "Buffie, Fatlane, and Friends", we take on a little epic dinner theater with Buffie playing the lead in "The Good Woman of Setzuan", so don't touch that dial!


----------



## Obesus (Sep 10, 2006)

Bertolt Brecht...who knew? I am ashamed, since my days of German lit are long gone and sorely missed...I need me some Gunter Grass, auf Deutsch, dammit! :bow: Muchas gracias or as they say, "Danke sehr, fu(e)r die Auskunft" (sorry about the umlautless keyboard...dadburn MicroSoft!)



fatlane said:


> Next up on "Buffie, Fatlane, and Friends", we take on a little epic dinner theater with Buffie playing the lead in "The Good Woman of Setzuan", so don't touch that dial!


----------



## fatlane (Sep 10, 2006)

Gesundheit!


----------



## Obesus (Sep 10, 2006)

I am wordy and prolix and frammoushy and mushy and referential and postmodernist and wordy and more prolix and more self-referential and even more words and not even a breathing stop and you just need ONE WORD!
Brilliant.



fatlane said:


> Gesundheit!



Wasn't it about time we started cooking or something...I will read from the cookbook...hot dogs and tacos it is...m&m pie for dessert and then some tasty Romany dishes for dessert-dessert...I am bringing pants with an elastic waistband, myself!:eat1: :eat2: 

Notice obscure image of world-famous fibreglass doggie from San Francsico eatery.."Doggie Diner" out by the Zoo...long gone and mucho missed!


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 10, 2006)

Looks like that doggie's got a M&M bow tie...

Deutsch scheint ja echt in Mode zu sein...


----------



## Obesus (Sep 10, 2006)

You have the sharp eyes of the true woof! I am thinking that the poochacus here is definitely and appropriately dressed with the M&M bow tie...which brings up an odd thing...my ex-wife was obsessed for a while with the dream she had about "LEMON M&M's"...she even did a painting of one of them in yellows on a stark black background, which was wowzers...I am thinking that this may be what Doggie is wearing...the mythical "LEMON M&M!" :shocked:   Maybe Porkchop should know about this, so that we can get a writing campaign going to the M&M folks for such a thing to happen in real life!



Timberwolf said:


> Looks like that doggie's got a M&M bow tie...
> 
> Deutsch scheint ja echt in Mode zu sein...



Vielleicht, Ich kann aber ein bisschen Deutsch!


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 10, 2006)

Obesus said:


> You have the sharp eyes of the true woof!


Well, maybe my new glasses were a little helpful... 
No setup changes, though, but the old ones were ten years old...





Obesus said:


> Vielleicht, Ich kann aber ein bisschen Deutsch!


And it looks better than many germans' writing...


----------



## Obesus (Sep 10, 2006)

...has anyone SEEN the Buffster or Porkchop 'round these parts for the last millenium or so? We needs to get us the feedbag on! :eat1: This here thread is a' startin' ta look like the Foodee Board over here! Right about time thar'!!


----------



## porkchop (Sep 10, 2006)

Well we were waiting for you three to start talking english again!!!
Are you finished???


----------



## Obesus (Sep 10, 2006)

...we lads are all through with our fancy-shmancy talkin', yakkin' and frammusing; we have come back to Earth (ceptin' Timberwolf, since what he lives in outer space; although we hope he would drop in) and we are ready to join you-all in the first ever annual Buffie/Porkchop Taco/Pie eatin'-event...see, I reckoned that a picture of beeeeeautiful pie would lure you back...although it also made me rush out to the local market for a re-up on peach pie with ice cream, myself! Yummalicious! Ahem, gotta' loosen them dang XXXXL elastic waistband pants thar'....now we just need to get everyone in one place all at the same time with oodles of delicious food...I gotta' be thinking Vegas, right?  I'll be talkin' to my people about the arrangements with those people over there at the place where there are people....hey, Viva Las Vegas, it's:
Food capital of the Western World! :shocked: 



porkchop said:


> Well we were waiting for you three to start talking english again!!!
> Are you finished???


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 11, 2006)

I'd love to drop in! Outer space is sometimes really boring...
Vegas, you say? Is there anywhere a place to land my flying saucer? Or would it be better if I'd take my '34 Pontiac Coup&#233; shuttle?


----------



## Obesus (Sep 11, 2006)

It would be less conspicuous...like in Vegas, they see 'em alla' time, especially if it is really big and silvery with lotsa' flashing lights and wooshing sounds! It would also maybe remind the girls that they need to be near plates and forks (since it is a saucer, it will have certain shape-effects to jog their memories back to the concept of food) and it would be sure handy to make a quick getaway after we lam outta' that all-you-can-eat buffet after we shut it down! See, I am thinkin' ahead...although that is dangerous without FL around! :bow: 



Timberwolf said:


> I'd love to drop in! Outer space is sometimes really boring...
> Vegas, you say? Is there anywhere a place to land my flying saucer? Or would it be better if I'd take my '34 Pontiac Coupé shuttle?


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 11, 2006)

I see... Like these in the elder movies... As mine isn't that much shiny (see my avatar), I'll have to build another one... Say, you Holy Henchman, how much time will I have? (For this is a great idea, which I'm sure even your Creative MasterMind will have to admit...)


----------



## porkchop (Sep 11, 2006)

Vegas works for me...I can work on my tan as well .....Excellent idea!!! YOu let me know where and when and I will arrive with Buffie in tow!! She is very excited about the tacos....can't talk about anything else.....


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## fatlane (Sep 11, 2006)

Let's not forget the Las Vegas Chinatown, a favorite haunt of mine.


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## Obesus (Sep 12, 2006)

The Taj Mahal, the new Postmodernist McDonald's springing up in Cal-I-forny and the Flatiron building! Ahem, did I mention my degree in architectural history! Ahem! :bow:


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## fatlane (Sep 13, 2006)

I'll see your Alhambra and raise you a Hermitage.


----------



## Jane (Sep 13, 2006)

I raise you with a Fallingwater:


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## fatlane (Sep 13, 2006)

I'll see your Wright and raise you a Gaudi.


----------



## Jane (Sep 13, 2006)

Gaudi is Wright. That's the Gaudiest thing I've ever seen.

Great, now I've pinched my pun nerve from overuse.


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## Jane (Sep 13, 2006)

I see that Gaudi, and raise you a giant Texas dildo!!!!











Oh yes, I DID, Mr. FL!!!!!


----------



## fatlane (Sep 13, 2006)

I see the Reunion Tower every time I go through downtown... I'll raise you an igloo.


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## Jane (Sep 13, 2006)

fatlane said:


> I see the Reunion Tower every time I go through downtown... I'll raise you an igloo.



That's what made me think of you.

I see your igloo and raise you a Sod House


----------



## fatlane (Sep 13, 2006)

I'll see your sod house, raise you a Louis XIV original, and wonder why I didn't declare a three-raise limit before we started playing architectural poker.


----------



## Jane (Sep 13, 2006)

fatlane said:


> I'll see your sod house, raise you a Louis XIV original, and wonder why I didn't declare a three-raise limit before we started playing architectural poker.


This isn't architectural STRIP poker?

I'm most Dreadfully Embarrassed......:wubu: 

I see that Louie Louie and raise you the Transamerica Pyramid


----------



## fatlane (Sep 13, 2006)

Fine. I'll raise you the whole damn LAS VEGAS STRIP.


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## Jane (Sep 13, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Fine. I'll raise you the whole damn LAS VEGAS STRIP.


OOOO a seque to the the Strip, Huh? Playing dirty are ya?

I see you(r) strip, and I raise you Central Park


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 14, 2006)

How do we call this? Poster strip?


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## fatlane (Sep 14, 2006)

Central Park? NEW YORK STRIP!


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## Jane (Sep 14, 2006)

Beef tenderloin...no knife needed...


----------



## fatlane (Sep 14, 2006)

Clara Peller... no beef needed...


----------



## Jane (Sep 14, 2006)




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## fatlane (Sep 14, 2006)

Meatloaf.


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## porkchop (Sep 14, 2006)

People People....clothes back on please.....
We have a show to do....did you all forget!!!!
Now....Fatlane quit trying to coveryourself with posters....you aren't fooling anyone....
Concentrate people!!!


----------



## Jane (Sep 14, 2006)




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## Jane (Sep 14, 2006)

porkchop said:


> People People....clothes back on please.....
> We have a show to do....did you all forget!!!!
> Now....Fatlane quit trying to coveryourself with posters....you aren't fooling anyone....
> Concentrate people!!!


I thought we were ordering from the caterers....:doh:


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## fatlane (Sep 14, 2006)




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## Jane (Sep 14, 2006)

Uncle Kracker​


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## fatlane (Sep 14, 2006)

Jollywood, Jollywood
Chippa-chippa-chee-chee


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 14, 2006)

Seems like they can't find an end...


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## Obesus (Sep 17, 2006)

Name, Obesus...gonna' clean up this damn thread and hang me a few varmints! I am thinkin' we need to have us a down-home style bar-b-cue, vegetarian style, with some tender tasty vittles and lots o' taters with mayo on the side (oh...you-all call that "Tater-salad") Ahem...got me my bar-b-cue tongs rightch here! :shocked: 



Timberwolf said:


> Seems like they can't find an end...


----------



## Jane (Sep 17, 2006)

Burnt Weenie Sandwich​


----------



## fatlane (Sep 17, 2006)




----------



## Jane (Sep 17, 2006)

Tongue Sandwiched between Lips​


----------



## Obesus (Sep 17, 2006)

I can tell you are on a roll and rolls are good when they are smothered in gravy....errrr...uhhhhh...I mean dinner rolls, not the kind when you get fat...oh well....maybe we could drag this thread of doom back to the realities of the Vegas FOODIST event and start looking at Buffet menus for Buffie and Porkchop....I plan on elastic-waistband pants, myself...size 58! Dang! :eat1: 
pretty please? I wanna' see all the cute pretty fat ladies eatin'!  :bow:


----------



## Jane (Sep 17, 2006)

Oh, dang, I guess so (and my photobucket account has to be demanding money soon with the number of pics I upload when we get into one of these free-for-alls)


----------



## Obesus (Sep 17, 2006)

That is why I post them to Dimensions off my hard drive and then wipe them all out when it gets full....no coins harmed in the free-for-all at'all. I have a whole separate 60gig hard-drive just for photos and files and I have mad-insane Google skills...oooooh, I am cheating! Persnickety thing that I am!  :bow: 
PS...meet the other new sheriff in town!



Jane said:


> Oh, dang, I guess so (and my photobucket account has to be demanding money soon with the number of pics I upload when we get into one of these free-for-alls)


----------



## fatlane (Sep 17, 2006)

(Inside of the Tres Hombres album cover.)


----------



## Obesus (Sep 17, 2006)

PINHEAD! Aha! Since you are ignoring my Hello Kitty Darth Vader! Aha! If you had any idea exactly how many folders I had to wade through to find that one, there would be new-found respect for the ol' Obesus over here!  



fatlane said:


> (Inside of the Tres Hombres album cover.)


----------



## fatlane (Sep 18, 2006)

... I choose you, Cthulhachu!


----------



## Jane (Sep 18, 2006)

Obesus said:


> That is why I post them to Dimensions off my hard drive and then wipe them all out when it gets full....no coins harmed in the free-for-all at'all. I have a whole separate 60gig hard-drive just for photos and files and I have mad-insane Google skills...oooooh, I am cheating! Persnickety thing that I am!  :bow:
> PS...meet the other new sheriff in town!


Okay, Hello Kitty Darth Vader is definitely "different..." (and officially stolen).


----------



## Obesus (Sep 18, 2006)

I have lost the good fight...there is no hope...that just...wins. The best I can do is a measly poster from: "A Shoggoth on the Roof!" Aha! Hope! 



fatlane said:


> ... I choose you, Cthulhachu!


----------



## fatlane (Sep 18, 2006)




----------



## Obesus (Sep 19, 2006)

...ooooh, you have made the Great Ancient Ones very upset! They do not like to be mocked! Aha!


----------



## fatlane (Sep 19, 2006)




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## Obesus (Sep 20, 2006)

"Hilarious sexually charged Kirk & Spock flick on YouTube" by Tina 

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12431

Rockin'!


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## fatlane (Sep 20, 2006)

Kirk and Spock at Disney on Gay Day. Enjoy.


----------



## Buffie (Sep 20, 2006)

What's up y'all? Know why youse guys are so rad... because you don't judge! You don't seem to judge me, anyway... not that I think everyone else does. I'm just sayin, that's one reason why you kids are so kickass in my book. 


Edited to add:
What's been going on? Catch me up in 50 words or less, please. Thanks!




(Wonders how many read 'book' but saw 'boob'?)


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## Jane (Sep 20, 2006)

Buffie said:


> What's up y'all? Know why youse guys are so rad... because you don't judge! You don't seem to judge me, anyway... not that I think everyone else does. I'm just sayin, that's one reason why you kids are so kickass in my book.
> 
> 
> Edited to add:
> ...


We judge you....oh yes we do. We judge you as fan-fuckin-tastic.

50 words....if a picture is worth a thousand words, just take a little glimpse.


----------



## fatlane (Sep 20, 2006)

Well, Buffie, I just finished the finishing touches on my first collection of illustrations. You can see more about them at my website... if you can't guess where it is, it has the www thingy in the front, a com at the end, and there's a fatlaneonline in the middle. There are some periods, too, but for the life of me I can't remember which one comes first and which one comes second.


----------



## Buffie (Sep 20, 2006)

Jane said:


> We judge you....oh yes we do. We judge you as fan-fuckin-tastic.
> 
> 50 words....if a picture is worth a thousand words, just take a little glimpse.



Jane! You my girl! My Okie girrrrl! Sending goood hugs your way, babe.


----------



## Buffie (Sep 20, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Well, Buffie, I just finished the finishing touches on my first collection of illustrations. You can see more about them at my website... if you can't guess where it is, it has the www thingy in the front, a com at the end, and there's a fatlaneonline in the middle. There are some periods, too, but for the life of me I can't remember which one comes first and which one comes second.



You are sooooo naughty. That's alright... I'm naughty, too. I've been watching the MTV again. Totally feels like I fell off the wagon. I am so ashamed! But I TiVo'd the VMAs and I watched it again because I wanted to see OK Go do the treadmill dance, which... as Misse said... is PURE GENIUS! ~Heart OK Go~ Anyway, that really annoying new Beyonce song came on and it just made me feel irritated! 

I'll check out your site, Mister. I will I will.


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## fatlane (Sep 20, 2006)

Check quickly. I just got a nastygram from my bank about a lack of financial solvency. Send whatever you can, be it a nickel, dime, or a dollar!


----------



## Buffie (Sep 20, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Check quickly. I just got a nastygram from my bank about a lack of financial solvency. Send whatever you can, be it a nickel, dime, or a dollar!


Yeah, I got one of those letters, too. They automatically issue one to you if you're a hard-working middle-class intelligent individual living in the midwest. All of our friends got them, also. Sucks butt, huh?

Why can't *I* be the crazy redneck who wins Powerball for once?


----------



## fatlane (Sep 20, 2006)

Buffie said:


> Yeah, I got one of those letters, too. They automatically issue one to you if you're a hard-working middle-class intelligent individual living in the midwest. All of our friends got them, also. Sucks butt, huh?
> 
> Why can't *I* be the crazy redneck who wins Powerball for once?



Coming up next on BF&F: Stickin' it to The Man. We'll take your calls at 1-214-844-BUFF


----------



## Buffie (Sep 20, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Coming up next on BF&F: Stickin' it to The Man. We'll take your calls at 1-214-844-BUFF



First caller, you're on the air...


----------



## fatlane (Sep 20, 2006)

_Hey, Buffie, first time long time. I was just listening and I was wondering how exactly you plan to stick it to The Man. Could you give folks like me some tips?_


----------



## Jane (Sep 20, 2006)

With no KY...that's how.


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## fatlane (Sep 20, 2006)

Thank goodness we're on cable.


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## Buffie (Sep 20, 2006)

~BLUSHING!~ Jane! Fatlane! Vulgar! Adore it! Please continue.

In the meantime... did I mention I brought back my MySpace? I did! I need mental help.


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## fatlane (Sep 20, 2006)

Buffie said:


> ~BLUSHING!~ Jane! Fatlane! Vulgar! Adore it! Please continue.
> 
> In the meantime... did I mention I brought back my MySpace? I did! I need mental help.



Sounds like you need hypnosis. I'm ready to help.

_Just relaaaaaaaaax... feel your body becoming heavier, and less clothed..._


----------



## Buffie (Sep 21, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Sounds like you need hypnosis. I'm ready to help.
> 
> _Just relaaaaaaaaax... feel your body becoming heavier, and less clothed..._



I'm having an Office Space flashback. I don't know why.


----------



## fatlane (Sep 21, 2006)

Buffie said:


> I'm having an Office Space flashback. I don't know why.



Just relaaaaaax... and your eyelids are getting heavier... you're falling into a trance... and you're sending me your credit card numbers with expiration dates...


----------



## Buffie (Sep 21, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Just relaaaaaax... and your eyelids are getting heavier... you're falling into a trance... and you're sending me your credit card numbers with expiration dates...



If only it were that easy. Silly boy, I already have a membership to your site. I bought it with Mr. Buffie's PayPal. I'm sneaky like that. 

Worth every cent, btw.


----------



## Obesus (Sep 21, 2006)

You most radical excellent! We have had many fantastic journeys and flights of imagination while you were off on your "other" job, doing that highly important work for those people with some fancy offices in Washington...whose name I cannot mention, because it would compromise national security in several foreign nations! (Wink,wink, nod, nod, say no more, say no more!) Need I mention Navel Intelligence? Hmmmmm...oopsie, spilled the beans!  Ok then, I am sure we all breathed a sigh of relief over your reappearance...sigh! Is that more than 50 words? I am wordy! :bow: 
The Timster


----------



## Buffie (Sep 21, 2006)

Smaller words, Obesus. When talking to Buffie, think small little tiny words. Write it down if necessary. 




~LOL!~


----------



## Obesus (Sep 21, 2006)

Oh majestic Buffie from where you are at over there in that place where you are, which name of said place escapes me...oh! Kansas City, most of which is not in Kansas, but Missouri. I think, or something like that on that order. Must needs coffee....:shocked: hugs!  I live in a place where fog tends to cloud our vision most of the time...we adjust, kinda'!



Buffie said:


> Smaller words, Obesus. When talking to Buffie, think small little tiny words. Write it down if necessary.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 21, 2006)

May a foghorn be helpful?


----------



## fatlane (Sep 21, 2006)

Timberwolf said:


> May a foghorn be helpful?



You had to say that...


----------



## Obesus (Sep 22, 2006)

...ceptin' Ludwig Von Drake!


fatlane said:


> You had to say that...


----------



## fatlane (Sep 22, 2006)

Let's not forget the rest of the gang!


----------



## Obesus (Sep 22, 2006)

Like this? Eh?


----------



## fatlane (Sep 22, 2006)

Stupid TRIPOD!!! 

Now I feel like posting a piccie from everyone's past...


----------



## Obesus (Sep 22, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Now I feel like posting a piccie from everyone's past...



Like, uh, how far back, exactly, dude? Like, I'm the girl in that incarnation, not the most famous Black Magician of the Century, Lemarchand!


----------



## fatlane (Sep 22, 2006)

So you want some fat magic? Ask our own for some of that...


----------



## Obesus (Sep 22, 2006)

...famous cultural commentator and FA, Wilson Barbers? He kewl. Wait a minute...I am having a total flashback...maybe...just maybe I can focus the little TV set inside my head here and see myself in the PAAAAAAASSSSST!
Or was that the future?



fatlane said:


> So you want some fat magic? Ask our own for some of that...


----------



## fatlane (Sep 23, 2006)

Ned Sonntag can help us with the Time issues.


----------



## swamptoad (Sep 23, 2006)

I wanna know who's doing the commercials. How are we paying for all of this?¿?¿?


----------



## fatlane (Sep 23, 2006)

Oh, the irony!


----------



## Jane (Sep 23, 2006)

Okay, Ewwwwwww!!!!!!!!


----------



## fatlane (Sep 23, 2006)

The horror. The horror.


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 23, 2006)

Aaaaaaarrgghh!

*runs in panic*

Take that away!


----------



## fatlane (Sep 23, 2006)

Well, she put on a bit of weight since that picture was taken. All due to the pregnancy, of course. 

View attachment ans64.jpg


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 23, 2006)

*whew*

Thank goodness...


----------



## porkchop (Sep 24, 2006)

You people are scaring me.....
she wasn't good looking big or small....


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 24, 2006)

It was more about the online diet pill, or whatever that was...

The rest is just good old yo-yo-effect...


----------



## fatlane (Sep 24, 2006)

Gentlemen! To yo-yos!


----------



## fatlane (Sep 28, 2006)

And now, to help pay my bills. Literally.

I made a new book. It's like a graphic novel, only it's in a PDF file and has the pictures on one side and words on another. 64 pages of yummy art, both written and drawn. Swing by my site to find out more about how you can give back to that Dim Board member you just can't seem to rep as often as you'd like.


----------



## Obesus (Sep 30, 2006)

...to handle urgent County matters and I come back to total and unmitigated chaos...sheesh! I will have to call in the enforcers again!


----------



## fatlane (Sep 30, 2006)

Hear, hear. End that fascism!


----------



## Jane (Oct 1, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Hear, hear. End that fascism!


Wouldn't that be loverly.


----------



## fatlane (Oct 1, 2006)

Hey, how did Obesus edit his post 10 hours after making it?


----------



## Timberwolf (Oct 1, 2006)

Good question... :blink:


----------



## Obesus (Oct 11, 2006)

I am after all, a Holy Man and I may just have some hidden mystical powers that the rest of us are a tad shy on! Nyaaaaaah! Nanner Nanner, Nanu Nanu!  Or maybe not! It could be! Aha! Yes, it could be! That's it then! Yes! Of course, I knew it all along! Huzzah! Yay!:bow: 



Timberwolf said:


> Good question... :blink:



PS...who let this thread get back to page FIVE!??? I am verframmused!


----------



## Timberwolf (Oct 12, 2006)

Obesus said:


> I am after all, a Holy Man and I may just have some hidden mystical powers that the rest of us are a tad shy on! Nyaaaaaah! Nanner Nanner, Nanu Nanu!  Or maybe not! It could be! Aha! Yes, it could be! That's it then! Yes! Of course, I knew it all along! Huzzah! Yay!:bow:


:doh: :doh: How could I forget that? 





Obesus said:


> PS...who let this thread get back to page FIVE!??? I am verframmused!


Seems like everyone is/was on vacation or anything similar... And as I can't do the complete show by myself...


----------



## fatlane (Oct 12, 2006)

I think we're on hiatus or something. I'm writing a novel during the season break. Maybe we come back on again in January on USA or something.


----------



## Timberwolf (Oct 12, 2006)

As an installment or a rerun?


----------



## Obesus (Oct 13, 2006)

Or some such rubbish, and now that I am over my difficulties with "falsch-amour", I am ready and rarin' to frammus us some fine Buffie-Porkchop eatin'-contest actione'! Feedbag-wise, that is! I am bakin' me some taters and putting on the cookin' eeee-quip-ment, righto, yessirree, Bob! I am thinkin' some butter might be good on them taters! Yuppers!


----------



## porkchop (Oct 13, 2006)

I heard the word butter.....it was calling me in my sleep....did someone mention butter?

small note to self...wear sunglasses when on Dimensions....the green glare from fatlane's can collection is almost blinding!


----------



## fatlane (Oct 13, 2006)

OK, whoever eats the most butter wins a can.


----------



## porkchop (Oct 14, 2006)

Wins a can? One of your cans? Or a can of something absolutely, uncontroversially amazing?


----------



## fatlane (Oct 14, 2006)

One of my many, many cans. I'll even fill it with the munchie of your choice.


----------



## porkchop (Oct 20, 2006)

How very thoughtful of you....now do we have the dimensions on this can....?
Can i say...order a Buffie burger in it?


----------



## fatlane (Oct 20, 2006)

The can's on Dimensions. What? Who? I AM, ONCE AGAIN, SO CONFUSED!


----------



## Obesus (Oct 20, 2006)

Can I make you some nice split-pea soup? How about I polish that special equipment in the lab extra-special good!? May I speak to those government funding people about that top-secret Buffie-Porkchop-tron project that you have been working on? Would that ease the confusion? :bow:


----------



## fatlane (Oct 21, 2006)

Split those peas.. quarter them, please... You know how I feel about irregular textures when I'm frazzled like this. Do whatever you must to ease the confusion. Mi dinero es su dinero. Remember to pillage first, burn later.


----------



## Jane (Oct 21, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Split those peas.. quarter them, please... You know how I feel about irregular textures when I'm frazzled like this. Do whatever you must to ease the confusion. Mi dinero es su dinero. Remember to pillage first, burn later.


I always get that confused, then there I am picking among the burned items for something I can salvage.


----------



## porkchop (Oct 21, 2006)

Yes....the question was..."what are the dimensions of the Dimensions can?"
I need to know size so that I can decide what goodies I want you to fill it with before you send it......simple enough really Fatlane.....
Just read real slow and I think you will grasp on to what I am asking....


----------



## Timberwolf (Oct 21, 2006)

As far as I can say it is quite dimensive... I'd guess a Buffie Burger and some Obesus Fries should be fitting in there...


----------



## fatlane (Oct 21, 2006)

If not, we'll _make_ 'em fit!


----------



## Obesus (Oct 22, 2006)

...back in the olden' days, when we used to sit around the Dimensions cracker-barrel and eat dill pickles with our Buffie-Burgers (TM) and Obesus Fries (Reg) we used to top them off with some nice M&M's. Too bad everyone is on a diet round these yar' parts! Ain't heard the sound of folks eatin' and chewing' foods in quite a whiles, by crackety gum! It's them gol' durn wimmen!


----------



## Timberwolf (Oct 23, 2006)

That must have been before my time...


----------



## porkchop (Oct 23, 2006)

M & M's on a Buffie burger....now there is an image for the mind, body and soul!


----------



## fatlane (Oct 23, 2006)

I gotta take that news sittin' down. Phoo! Pshaw! Jiminy Crickets! Swell!


----------



## porkchop (Oct 28, 2006)

You sit yourself downa dn enjoy the show.....let is know when you need your medication....


----------



## fatlane (Oct 29, 2006)

I got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell.


----------



## porkchop (Oct 30, 2006)

fatlane said:


> I got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell.


Ummm I think you are hallucinating again Fatlane......Cowbells? Cowbells?


----------



## fatlane (Oct 30, 2006)

Are you saying I'm an udder failure?


----------



## Timberwolf (Oct 30, 2006)

fatlane said:


> I got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell.


I found something...


----------



## porkchop (Oct 31, 2006)

maybe just "udderly ridiculous...."


----------



## fatlane (Nov 1, 2006)

Timberwolf said:


> I found something...



OK, not that much cowbell.


----------



## Obesus (Nov 19, 2006)

Just for the rhythm section.....it adds a nice hoof-clappin' beat!  



fatlane said:


> OK, not that much cowbell.


----------



## fatlane (Nov 20, 2006)

NOT NOW, MAN! CAN'T YOU SEE I AM IN CHINA?

Oh, wait, the earth's not flat. Of course you can't.

AND WHY IS THE EARTH NOT FLAT?

I WILL TELL YOU.

IT IS BECAUSE A CERTAIN MINION WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS HAS BEEN LAX IN HIS IRONING DUTIES AND IT CURLED UP WITH ALL THIS HUMIDITY!!!


----------



## Timberwolf (Nov 20, 2006)

Have you seen that sack of rice fall over?

What do you think how much interest that caused over here?


----------



## Obesus (Nov 22, 2006)

It must be because of the goats! Yes, that is it, the goats are soaking up all of the moisture with their sheeny coats! Yes! Aha! I knew it! I will speak to them at once...let no one accuse this here minion of onioning the day away! Ahem! Perchance Miss Buffy might have some thoughts on goat fur and its' role in Earth-roundening, since she is an expert on roundy things!??? 
Ahhhhhhhhh....huh? That one confused me something fierce!
Timmy da Goatherd (and part-time cabin lad for Flat Earth adventures, Inc.)



fatlane said:


> NOT NOW, MAN! CAN'T YOU SEE I AM IN CHINA?
> 
> Oh, wait, the earth's not flat. Of course you can't.
> 
> ...


----------



## fatlane (Nov 22, 2006)

Snap to! That's better. Now, if you're good and email/PM me, I'll set you up with a link to some great Chinese heavy metal, reminiscent of the best of the late 80's hair bands who still had guitar players not afraid to solo!


----------



## Obesus (Nov 23, 2006)

Rock on, dude! Just in time for Tenacious D and "The Pick of Destiny!" Gotta' go plunk my eeeelectric banjo, on the mighty Casio WK-1600!!!


----------



## Obesus (Nov 26, 2006)

Back, in the far far distant past ages of humankind, folks cared about this here thread..it meant something to 'em..the zaniness, the sly humor, the repartee', the Buffie-trons and Porkchop-trons running around Fatlane's secret laboratory-castle, just like it was an episode of "Get Smart"...now, it is relegated to the dusts of the aeons, slowly gathering moss and fungus around the edges...sigh...well...get the Buffie Burgers a' rollin' and fetch them M&M's! I'm a' fightin' fer this here thread and gonna' make it jes to shine! (Note subtle peace-offering to Miss Jes..I am just SURE that she must be mad at me for something...) :bow: I leave you with these immortal words..."Them gol' durn wimmen! Dad-gummit!" :blush:


----------



## fatlane (Nov 26, 2006)

It's the end of an era, what-what.

Maybe we should reformat with Jim J. Bullock instead of Buffie?


----------



## Obesus (Nov 26, 2006)

I just knew there had to be some nifty fat-positive thing in there somewhere with Mr. Bullock! He kewl! I am still trying to LURE Buffie and Porkchop back here with vague rumours of tacos, burgers, candies and fine pix of Gabby Hayes! :bow: 



fatlane said:


> It's the end of an era, what-what.
> 
> Maybe we should reformat with Jim J. Bullock instead of Buffie?


----------



## fatlane (Nov 28, 2006)

By the way, there are no tacos in China, at least none that don't taste like eggrolls. They need help.


----------



## Buffie (Nov 29, 2006)

Tacos, you say?


----------



## FreeThinker (Nov 29, 2006)

Buffie said:


> Tacos, you say?



*wild applause*


(or wild applesauce...something like that. I think I've watched The Larry Sanders Show too often...)






*Hey, now!*​




.


----------



## Buffie (Nov 29, 2006)

You're such a goof, FT! I likes. Miss ya'll, BTW. PorkyChoppy, O-B, Fatlane! Hugs Hugs Hugs. 

BTW again, we FINALLY have a TACO BUENO in Kansas City!!! YAY!!! YAAAAY!!! So guess what, I ate 2 tacos tonight! Yum Yum Yuuuuum!

I ~heart~ Bueno and I ~heart~ all of you!


----------



## Obesus (Nov 30, 2006)

Obe wan kenobi dances the happy hamster dance of joy! Miss Buffie has been rescued from the gross iniquities if life and has returned to the bosom of our beloved thread...errrrr.....uhhhhhhhh...maybe I will rephrase that to be a tad more delicate for the faint of heart! Miss Buffie, we shore missed ya'! Glad to hear about the Tacos! Goldurnit and a dagnabit too!  
Whew...I better take my meds before I get too excited here! :bow: 



Buffie said:


> You're such a goof, FT! I likes. Miss ya'll, BTW. PorkyChoppy, O-B, Fatlane! Hugs Hugs Hugs.
> 
> BTW again, we FINALLY have a TACO BUENO in Kansas City!!! YAY!!! YAAAAY!!! So guess what, I ate 2 tacos tonight! Yum Yum Yuuuuum!
> 
> I ~heart~ Bueno and I ~heart~ all of you!


----------



## Buffie (Nov 30, 2006)

Ohhh... is that a cake you've got there?


----------



## FreeThinker (Nov 30, 2006)

Buffie said:


> Ohhh... is that a cake you've got there?



He's just glad to see you.


----------



## Buffie (Nov 30, 2006)

FreeThinker said:


> He's just glad to see you.



Perv! 

Just kidding! 

Cake does sound good though. I watched a Modern Marvels about snack foods... ohmigawd that was not easy. Major munchies. Totally snowed in. Bad combo. :eat2:


----------



## fatlane (Dec 1, 2006)

The Chinese tacos are like chopped up fajitas inside a corn tortilla that tastes suspiciously like an eggroll. They have a long way to go... I had to hit two Mexican joints back in Texas to get my taco jones taken care of.


----------



## Obesus (Dec 10, 2006)

The whole concept of Chinese tacos just seems ever so slightly..ahhhhh...HERETICAL! AHA! I am sure they are lovely and I usually go over to a Chinese restaurant over here on South Van Ness to get some breakfast donuts to tide me over until the Rainbo Bakery Thrift Shop opens and I can get me my Lil' Debbie jones under control...but, somehow, there just seems to be that lack of IMPRIMATUR! AHA! Nobody expects the SPANISH INQUISTION to be feeding babes!



fatlane said:


> The Chinese tacos are like chopped up fajitas inside a corn tortilla that tastes suspiciously like an eggroll. They have a long way to go... I had to hit two Mexican joints back in Texas to get my taco jones taken care of.


----------



## Buffie (Dec 10, 2006)

Hey Fatlane, O-B, know what's cosmic? 

Yesteday I had a hair appointment, and Misse had her hair appointment right after mine. Anyway, that's not the cosmic part. The first far-out thing is that I kept thinking all morning that Chinese sounded good for lunch. During our appointment, out of nowhere, Misse said "Let's get Chinese buffet for lunch!" Wild, huh? 

Anyway, second and MOST cosmic, thing... we went to this buffet over by the salon and it was a Chinese AND Taco Buffet! For real... it was like 2/3rds Chinese food and the other part was Mexican, with tacos and nachos! We are definitely going back!


----------



## Obesus (Dec 11, 2006)

That is what we call, in the Shaman/Holy Man type biz, a totally synchronistic and cosmic set of events! I am thinking I need to explore this strange Mexican-Chinese thing more...there must be something in it! There is a Latino-Irish society here in Frisco that has been around for over 100 years, and my ex-wife is half Latina; half Bavarian-Irish so I have several approaches into the Mexican part of the mystery...but then, I need to learn me some Mandarin...it is crucial around these here parts anyhoo...helps with dinner ordering! Thanks for sharing a double- whiz-bang cosmic moment! :bow: 
Tacos and Spicy Eggplant...mmmmmmmmmm :eat1: 



Buffie said:


> Hey Fatlane, O-B, know what's cosmic?
> 
> Yesteday I had a hair appointment, and Misse had her hair appointment right after mine. Anyway, that's not the cosmic part. The first far-out thing is that I kept thinking all morning that Chinese sounded good for lunch. During our appointment, out of nowhere, Misse said "Let's get Chinese buffet for lunch!" Wild, huh?
> 
> Anyway, second and MOST cosmic, thing... we went to this buffet over by the salon and it was a Chinese AND Taco Buffet! For real... it was like 2/3rds Chinese food and the other part was Mexican, with tacos and nachos! We are definitely going back!


----------



## fatlane (Dec 11, 2006)

Buffie said:


> Hey Fatlane, O-B, know what's cosmic?
> 
> Yesteday I had a hair appointment, and Misse had her hair appointment right after mine. Anyway, that's not the cosmic part. The first far-out thing is that I kept thinking all morning that Chinese sounded good for lunch. During our appointment, out of nowhere, Misse said "Let's get Chinese buffet for lunch!" Wild, huh?
> 
> Anyway, second and MOST cosmic, thing... we went to this buffet over by the salon and it was a Chinese AND Taco Buffet! For real... it was like 2/3rds Chinese food and the other part was Mexican, with tacos and nachos! We are definitely going back!



As Obesus cannily observed, this is definitely in harmony with the Tao.

There's a great Chinese buffet in San Antonio that's run by a Cambodian dude. Jawsome stuff to eat there. I plan to return when I return to the Alamo City.


----------



## Buffie (Dec 12, 2006)

So we're in agreement... the next fab food fad will be the Chaco Buffet. 

Let us pray.


----------



## fatlane (Dec 12, 2006)

I just had some BBQ pork. It was good right down to the bone. Yum.

Say, Buffie, how come all the big MO cities have to split off with another state? I'm thinking of St. Louis and Kansas City, in particular.


----------



## Buffie (Dec 12, 2006)

I'm convinced it was for purposes of tax bull-shittery on one side or another.


----------



## fatlane (Dec 13, 2006)

So does the rest of MO live "on the edge" like that? Most of the rest of it?


----------



## Buffie (Dec 13, 2006)

fatlane said:


> So does the rest of MO live "on the edge" like that? Most of the rest of it?



I honestly don't know. Better to ask a native MO-ian. From what I can tell, living on the 'edge' around here means driving down Prospect with your doors unlocked... or Quindaro if you're on the KS side.


----------



## swamptoad (Dec 13, 2006)

Buffie said:


> Hey Fatlane, O-B, know what's cosmic?
> 
> Yesteday I had a hair appointment, and Misse had her hair appointment right after mine. Anyway, that's not the cosmic part. The first far-out thing is that I kept thinking all morning that Chinese sounded good for lunch. During our appointment, out of nowhere, Misse said "Let's get Chinese buffet for lunch!" Wild, huh?
> 
> Anyway, second and MOST cosmic, thing... we went to this buffet over by the salon and it was a Chinese AND Taco Buffet! For real... it was like 2/3rds Chinese food and the other part was Mexican, with tacos and nachos! We are definitely going back!



I've been to a buffet once like that.


----------



## Buffie (Dec 13, 2006)

Dude, SWEET! That means its not a fluke! An honest to goodness trend might be developing as we speak. 

The Chaco Buffet - Food of the Future!


----------



## swamptoad (Dec 13, 2006)

Yep!

I wish that there were more of 'em.


----------



## fatlane (Dec 14, 2006)

I thought they were only in Texas.

Good to see they've spread.

Tell us more about this "Prospect Street" of which you speak.


----------



## FreeThinker (Dec 14, 2006)

fatlane said:


> There's a great Chinese buffet in San Antonio that's run by a Cambodian dude. Jawsome stuff to eat there. I plan to return when I return to the Alamo City.



Don't forget to make that left turn at Albuquerque.


----------



## Jane (Dec 14, 2006)

FreeThinker said:


> Don't forget to make that left turn at Albuquerque.



Damn you, Free, stealing my lines.


----------



## fatlane (Dec 14, 2006)

Just don't steal John DeLorean's lines, and you'll be fine.


----------



## FreeThinker (Dec 14, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Just don't steal John DeLorean's lines, and you'll be fine.


----------



## fatlane (Dec 14, 2006)

Say hello to my little friend.


----------



## FreeThinker (Dec 14, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Say hello to my little friend.



I don't need a straw, thanks.





_(ooh, I shouldn't have said that!)_


----------



## fatlane (Dec 14, 2006)

He shoot Coca-Cola
He say one and one and one is three


----------



## Buffie (Dec 17, 2006)

fatlane said:


> I thought they were only in Texas.
> 
> Good to see they've spread.
> 
> Tell us more about this "Prospect Street" of which you speak.



I miss Texas food. Everywhere I have ever eaten in Texas has been yum-yum. No kidding.

Prospect (I think it's Ave.) is where the serial killer Terry Blair dumped a lot of his bodies. You hear about Prospect on the news a lot, usually related with a crime story. Every city had a major street or part of town like that, don't they?


----------



## fatlane (Dec 18, 2006)

Sounds great. Did they find all the bodies? Or do they still crop up there from time to time?


----------



## Buffie (Dec 20, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Sounds great. Did they find all the bodies? Or do they still crop up there from time to time?



As far as anyone knows, they've all been removed and given proper funerals. Most of Prospect still looks like a dump but its a thousand times better now that Blair has been put away.


----------



## fatlane (Dec 20, 2006)

Well, he sure sounds icky.

Let's talk about enchiladas. Can they substitute for tacos?


----------



## Jane (Dec 20, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Let's talk about enchiladas. Can they substitute for tacos?



Oh, I am Most Dreadfully embarrassed....

(Jane takes FL away to give him a good talking to....enchiladas as a substitute for tacos...shaking head)


----------



## fatlane (Dec 21, 2006)

The producers told me to go with the "controversial talk" format...


----------



## Obesus (Dec 24, 2006)

My confusion grows and grows...I studied the "Henchman's Guide to Proper Miniondom" and the "Magical Mystical Book of Destinies" but still the mightiness of your wisdomes escape me....am I hopeless? 
Your henchperson, Obie.



fatlane said:


> The producers told me to go with the "controversial talk" format...


----------



## fatlane (Dec 24, 2006)

Let's see if we can't get some Hottentots from the Antipodes on the show...


----------



## Obesus (Dec 24, 2006)

Wasn't it Herr Sanger who invented the Antipodal Space-Bomber and then passed on the instructions to Herr Von Braun, aka Mr, NASA!? Giggling with delight over here in the Antipodes! Say...there must be some Hyperborean thingy going on right now...I am feeling lights moving from the North on the Inner Planes........ Oh...just Santy Claus....no probbo!



fatlane said:


> Let's see if we can't get some Hottentots from the Antipodes on the show...


----------



## fatlane (Dec 25, 2006)

Santa Claus can have his Hyperborea. There are more tacos in the Antipodes, as Buffie will tell you.


----------



## Obesus (Dec 27, 2006)

"Antipodal tacos!" YES! This is the concept for a new chain of restaurants for which I have eternally searched! Yes! Now I just need some seed-monies! AHA! I will approach the Antipodal folks and see if we can get a TV/movie tie-in..."Buffie and the Antipodal Tacos of Doom!" Whole new Sci-Fi epic! YES! I am charged...and perhaps I shouldn't have had that second cup o' joe this morn...but just think of it all!  



fatlane said:


> Santa Claus can have his Hyperborea. There are more tacos in the Antipodes, as Buffie will tell you.


----------



## fatlane (Dec 27, 2006)

Hey, I'd like two crunchy tacos and a medium Pepsi. Name's Doom.


----------



## Buffie (Dec 27, 2006)

~Crawls out from under her chair.~ 


Is it over? 

~Looks for evidence of the fat man in red or fire-hazard trees covered in shiny plastic junk.~


----------



## FreeThinker (Dec 27, 2006)

Buffie said:


> ~Crawls out from under her chair.~
> 
> 
> Is it over?
> ...



"Fire-hazard trees covered in shiny plastic junk"?

I'll have you know that there was the most beautiful fire-resistant chrome tree in here, covered with with FLASHING, ILLUMINATED plastic junk!

Dee-luxe! 

Most Christmassy trailer in the park, I tell ya what!


I was wondering why that chair was so _high_...


----------



## Buffie (Dec 27, 2006)

FreeThinker said:


> "Fire-hazard trees covered in shiny plastic junk"?
> 
> I'll have you know that there was the most beautiful fire-resistant chrome tree in here, covered with with FLASHING, ILLUMINATED plastic junk!
> 
> ...



How many channels you pick up with that thar tree? 
 

The chair isn't high. He is in a medically induced state of relaxation! He has a prescription, dammit.

...oh



Not _that_ kind of high.








my bad :doh:


----------



## FreeThinker (Dec 27, 2006)

That tree don't help the reception too much, but who needs TV when ya can just picture all the Nascar ornaments racin' 'round it, and gettin' zapped by them Star Trek ships.

I thought the chrome mudflap girl angel on top was classy.


----------



## Buffie (Dec 27, 2006)

I ~HEART~ the 75 Chrome Shop girlie! I've seen her in a BBW version, too! Sweeeeet.


----------



## fatlane (Dec 28, 2006)

Speaking of chrome and Big Berthas...


----------



## FreeThinker (Dec 28, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Speaking of chrome and Big Berthas...



Nice bike...for a trailer queen.*



*trailer queen: A motorcycle that accumulates most of its mileage being carried on a trailer, instead of being ridden. No offense to trailer queens of the human variety.


----------



## Timberwolf (Dec 28, 2006)

Is it invisible?


----------



## fatlane (Dec 28, 2006)

Still... cool to pose on!


----------



## FreeThinker (Dec 28, 2006)

Timberwolf said:


> Is it invisible?



Strange thing...sometimes it shows up for me, sometimes not.

It's the Brigadoon of bikes.

Try quoting fatlane's post, and cut out the part between where it has the IMG and /IMG in brackets, and paste it into your browser. That's what I had to do.


----------



## FreeThinker (Dec 28, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Still... cool to pose on!



Heck, yes!


----------



## fatlane (Dec 28, 2006)

The server eats the images every now and then.

No need to ask why...


----------



## Buffie (Dec 29, 2006)

Last time I posed on a bike I almost laid it down. This was not a popular manuver in the opinion of the owner... 

That bike looks like it costs many thousands more than the lovely-but-semi-economical V-Star, and I'm not what you'd call a financial risk taker. 

Trailer Queen... cute!


----------



## fatlane (Dec 29, 2006)

How about posing on top of a riding mower with powder coating?


----------



## Buffie (Dec 29, 2006)

fatlane said:


> How about posing on top of a riding mower with powder coating?



Hrm... I'm considering this. Does it come in any shade of Porsche? :batting:


----------



## fatlane (Dec 29, 2006)

Yes. "Convertible Blue".


----------



## Buffie (Dec 29, 2006)

What hue of blue?


----------



## fatlane (Dec 29, 2006)

Any hue to make you say, "Whew!"


----------



## Buffie (Dec 29, 2006)

Whew like ohh or whew like eww?


----------



## fatlane (Dec 29, 2006)

The first one.

Is this a case of instant messaging by way of Dim Board?


----------



## Buffie (Dec 29, 2006)

Kinda sorta... until my Wi-Fi crashes anyway.


----------



## fatlane (Dec 29, 2006)

Well, don't drive your wi-fi if you're the slightest bit tiddly. Should cut down on the crashes.


----------



## Buffie (Dec 29, 2006)

Tiddly. That's a new one to me.


----------



## fatlane (Dec 29, 2006)

It shouldn't be, given how it compliments your... eyes.


----------



## Buffie (Dec 29, 2006)

=P 


Sillypants.


----------



## fatlane (Dec 29, 2006)

So how tiddly are you right now?


----------



## Timberwolf (Dec 29, 2006)

FreeThinker said:


> Strange thing...sometimes it shows up for me, sometimes not.
> 
> It's the Brigadoon of bikes.
> 
> Try quoting fatlane's post, and cut out the part between where it has the IMG and /IMG in brackets, and paste it into your browser. That's what I had to do.


Well, would be nice if there were any


----------



## fatlane (Dec 29, 2006)

I know I had them when I first posted the image...


----------



## Buffie (Dec 30, 2006)

fatlane said:


> So how tiddly are you right now?



About 10 or 11 winks. How tiddly are you?


----------



## fatlane (Dec 30, 2006)

I tiddled out soon after posting that.


----------



## Obesus (Jan 1, 2007)

When did we move off my scientific and mad-scientific fixations into the land of tiddlies, winks and Porsche colors? I am distraught, discommodious and frammoushed, big time! As I recall, I had to call in the big pink guy one time before to police things around these parts...when we have these huge reality shifts, could someone please hold up a big international safety-orange sign that says "REALITY SHIFT AHEAD!" Thank you for your kind attention to this matter!
Your own, faithfully waiting, Obe-wan-kenobi!:bow:


----------



## fatlane (Jan 1, 2007)

I'll see that security will be tighter on the set for the coming year... 

View attachment day4-42.jpg


----------



## Jane (Jan 1, 2007)

fatlane said:


> I'll see that security will be tighter on the set for the coming year...



Pants, too, I have a feeling.


----------



## Timberwolf (Jan 1, 2007)

Too many chrismas tacos, huh?


----------



## Obesus (Jan 1, 2007)

You are far too kind to your lowly, undeserving henchperson! I thank you from the bottom of the depths of my insidious mind! AHA!



fatlane said:


> I'll see that security will be tighter on the set for the coming year...


----------



## Obesus (Jan 1, 2007)

AKA Lil' Debbie (Tm) who created this waistline crisis...damn her eyes!



Timberwolf said:


> Too many chrismas tacos, huh?


----------



## Buffie (Jan 1, 2007)

Obesus said:


> When did we move off my scientific and mad-scientific fixations into the land of tiddlies, winks and Porsche colors? I am distraught, discommodious and frammoushed, big time! As I recall, I had to call in the big pink guy one time before to police things around these parts...when we have these huge reality shifts, could someone please hold up a big international safety-orange sign that says "REALITY SHIFT AHEAD!" Thank you for your kind attention to this matter!
> Your own, faithfully waiting, Obe-wan-kenobi!:bow:



WHERE did you find a fooking HELLO KITTY Darth Vader? That is the most twisted thing I have seen this year. For the real! =)


----------



## Obesus (Jan 2, 2007)

It was found in a friend's Live Journal thingy and she found it out of the Goth Milk costume thingy and speaking of thingies..here is a thingy that is just WRONG! Ya-hoooooey!  




Buffie said:


> WHERE did you find a fooking HELLO KITTY Darth Vader? That is the most twisted thing I have seen this year. For the real! =)


----------



## fatlane (Jan 2, 2007)

Goat milk?


----------



## Buffie (Jan 3, 2007)

Got Goth Goat Milk?


----------



## fatlane (Jan 3, 2007)

I will favor anyone who can produce a goth goat with a double sawbuck.


----------



## mango (Jan 3, 2007)




----------



## fatlane (Jan 3, 2007)

Coming up next: TORTELVIS!


----------



## Obesus (Jan 4, 2007)

How about a farpheluptigus with a frammistan on the widget? Or maybe a doo-hicky hut with a half-shell on a camel?



fatlane said:


> I will favor anyone who can produce a goth goat with a double sawbuck.


----------



## Buffie (Jan 4, 2007)

Oh... you guys wanna play the "Let's make the other person mutter to themselves 'I don't get it' game" I see! Well.....

So this one guy says to the other "Do you think Elle Macpherson should wear shorter bangs?" 

View attachment 55_I%20don't%20get%20it..jpg


----------



## fatlane (Jan 4, 2007)




----------



## Buffie (Jan 4, 2007)

I do believe that's an Eva Gabor wig and I also believe the style is called "Acclaim" and that particular color is RS29.


----------



## fatlane (Jan 5, 2007)

Buffie said:


> I do believe that's an Eva Gabor wig and I also believe the style is called "Acclaim" and that particular color is RS29.



This gives me a new idea for a game... STUMP THE BUFFIE!


----------



## Timberwolf (Jan 5, 2007)

Rules, please...


----------



## fatlane (Jan 5, 2007)

Find makeup colors/styles that you think Buffie won't be able to figure out.


----------



## Jane (Jan 5, 2007)

And Good fuckin' Luck!!!!!!


----------



## Buffie (Jan 6, 2007)

Jane said:


> And Good fuckin' Luck!!!!!!



Yep... what she said. 


... I'm slipping off my wooden soled white leather MIA sandal and drawing a line in the sand with my OPI Designer Series "Dazzle" tipped toe. 

:happy:


----------



## Obesus (Jan 6, 2007)

My favoritest designer of all time! Kewlest! He has been BBW friendly in past years here and there.....he certainly loves women's shapes versus a lot of high fashion designers! :bow:


----------



## fatlane (Jan 6, 2007)

Here's my entry... a simple handbag...


----------



## Buffie (Jan 9, 2007)

I haven't had time to really research this, but the leather looks like something Hilfiger would do (and I hardly consider him a 'designer'), however, the hardware says Etienne Aigner, so you may have officially stumpped me. Misse? Wanna take a shot at this? You're the purse guru. 


... Still looking at it... and that rolled leather handle looks SO Vuitton, but the fact that it is riveted kinds throws me off that path. 

This is a trick question!


----------



## HotBBWnKC (Jan 9, 2007)

Humm well the "H" pattern with the leather strapping looks like a Salvatore bag (I am lost for the last name). Umm mostly Neiman Marcus sales I think... Try researching that!!


----------



## Buffie (Jan 9, 2007)

I KNEW you'd nail it. That's why you my gurl.


----------



## HotBBWnKC (Jan 9, 2007)

No pink in his handbag line either, I am starting to think handbags are against us.....


----------



## Buffie (Jan 9, 2007)

HotBBWnKC said:


> No pink in his handbag line either, I am starting to think handbags are against us.....



W.... T.... F....

Handbag makers, if you hear me... we want PINK dammit! Is that too much to [email protected]#$%&g ASK!? 

Take your 'earthtones' and cram them in your skinny, overpriced ass!

Also, can we please get off the gold-tone hardware bandwagon? For the real... ever hear of silver-tone? Some of us don't rawk the gold, k? 

Kathy Van Zeeland or whateverthehellyournameis, make your shit better. Everyone I know who has one of your bags has complained about parts falling off. Guess? You hear that? You, too. Once upon a time, you made excellent bags. The last two that Misse had? PARTS FELL OFF! 

Michael Kors, get over yourself bro. You junk is cute, but it ain't $400-cute. 

Coach, quit feeding me the same tired design in different colors and patterns. I know its your 'thing' but let's get with the 2007, ohkay?

I'm not forgetting about you, Fendi. Oh my sweet sweet Fendi. For so long you have dazzled me with color and allured me with your simple elegance... BUT WHY does most of the Fendi I can afford look like tiny luggage? I don't want your logo prints. I want your big shiny buckles and crystal studded straps!

This purse rant is going to crash my Wi-Fi, I have a feeling...


----------



## HotBBWnKC (Jan 9, 2007)

WHOOOAAA that blew my hair back.... You tell em girl!!


----------



## Buffie (Jan 9, 2007)

That's super cosmic! You're calling me right now.




Its like I JUST TOOK MY FIRST CALLER on the BF&F Show! Ohmigawd! I'm sooo having a moment. I didn't even get to say "Caller, you're on the air," but that's alright. I will say it next time! Sweeeet.


----------



## Jane (Jan 9, 2007)

"Long time viewer, first time caller..."


----------



## Buffie (Jan 9, 2007)

Jane said:


> "Long time viewer, first time caller..."



My SECOND caller! Awesome.

"Caller, you're on the air." - In my best morning-show host/used car salesman voice...


----------



## Timberwolf (Jan 10, 2007)

Well, I just called to say that I'm feeling sleepy... Zzzzzz...


----------



## fatlane (Jan 10, 2007)

HotBBWnKC said:


> Humm well the "H" pattern with the leather strapping looks like a Salvatore bag (I am lost for the last name). Umm mostly Neiman Marcus sales I think... Try researching that!!



... Ferragamo is the last name. You got it. Great.

Next one:






In what city did this show take place?


----------



## HotBBWnKC (Jan 11, 2007)

Yay, did I pass? Oh wait, I am not in class.... Nevermind... :doh:


----------



## HotBBWnKC (Jan 11, 2007)

Buffie said:


> That's super cosmic! You're calling me right now.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Yay, I called at just the right time. So now I will be expecting you to answer my call next time with your best radio voice!!


----------



## fatlane (Jan 11, 2007)

Back to the contest and yes, you're in the mix on Team Buffie, HBKC.


----------



## Obesus (Jan 12, 2007)

....with eight of our psychiatrists and _something_ just comes over me...I _know_ I have to say it: "Am I CRAZY....." short pause and they all yell "Well, hell, ya, fer sure!!!"...and then I kick in with: "...or didn't the mental health counselor used to do that?" Yeeeeeeeee-haawwwww...imagine that; being straight-man to a bunch of shrinks! I think I need to get me a life! Back to the Buffie show, starring Fatlane and a host of wacky folks! Uhhhhh....host of zingy folks....OK! :blush:


----------



## fatlane (Jan 12, 2007)




----------



## Obesus (Jan 13, 2007)

.....and raise ya' a Gothic Lolita....


----------



## Buffie (Jan 13, 2007)

fatlane said:


> ... Ferragamo is the last name. You got it. Great.
> 
> Next one:
> 
> ...


 
Y'know, runway isn't my forte, but I'm going to take a stab in the dark here. The clothes are rich in color, demure and flowing, which has not been typical of recent Milan and Paris shows. I'm going to go with Tokyo or Bangkok.


----------



## fatlane (Jan 14, 2007)

Close. Mumbai.


----------



## porkchop (Jan 16, 2007)

How 's it all been around here??? Miss me????


----------



## fatlane (Jan 16, 2007)

For us to miss you would imply we were shooting at you.

I would never open fire on a green M&M. They are best eaten... ALIVE!


----------



## Obesus (Jan 16, 2007)

I have had my mystics and seers working around the clock to find out the reasons for your mysterious disappearance...we have missed you no end! I must daresay the old thread just hasn't been the same...but, now you are back and there is singing and dancing and happy peasant pagan people pointing at the stars and comets with lights shining through their tears of joy! Oh there shall be a celebration tonight at Chez Obesus....out of M&M's though...have to console myself with taters and cookie snack-cakes!
Seriously though, good to have you back! :bow: 



porkchop said:


> How 's it all been around here??? Miss me????


----------



## fatlane (Jan 17, 2007)

This just in... root beer said to be good for the soul... film at 11.


----------



## Jane (Jan 17, 2007)

Obesus said:


> I have had my mystics and seers working around the clock to find out the reasons for your mysterious disappearance...we have missed you no end! I must daresay the old thread just hasn't been the same...but, now you are back and there is singing and dancing and happy peasant pagan people pointing at the stars and comets with lights shining through their tears of joy! Oh there shall be a celebration tonight at Chez Obesus....out of M&M's though...have to console myself with taters and cookie snack-cakes!
> Seriously though, good to have you back! :bow:



And Missy, have you ever seen what mystics and seers charge for Overtime? It's not pretty, let me tell you.


----------



## fatlane (Jan 17, 2007)

We've already exceeded the mystics budget for January 2007 and are close to the cap on the seers allotment.


----------



## porkchop (Jan 18, 2007)

Gasp!!!!....Eaten ALIVE!!!!?????!!!!! I knew it wasn't safe to come back yet.....:eat2:


----------



## Timberwolf (Jan 18, 2007)

You know, M&Ms only taste good if they're eaten alive, for they get bad very soon after being killed...


----------



## fatlane (Jan 18, 2007)

Best thing about them is one needen't dip them in chocolate before chowing down.


----------



## Obesus (Jan 19, 2007)

Is....that...uhhhhhhhh.....permitted?  I thought they were just there for the clever colors and UFO type designy part!


----------



## Obesus (Jan 19, 2007)

This suddenly popped up on a zillion places around the Dim Boards and elsewheres:

http://www.becomeanmm.com/



Obesus said:


> Is....that...uhhhhhhhh.....permitted?  I thought they were just there for the clever colors and UFO type designy part!



I highly approve! Huzzah!


----------



## fatlane (Jan 19, 2007)

I have already found one M&M who isn't for eating... 

View attachment mnm.jpg


----------



## porkchop (Jan 19, 2007)

Dear God people STOP!!! STOP I say....stop eating the M & M's....they are mine....all mine....


----------



## porkchop (Jan 19, 2007)

Obesus said:


> This suddenly popped up on a zillion places around the Dim Boards and elsewheres:
> 
> http://www.becomeanmm.com/
> 
> ...



VERY COOL!!!! :wubu:


----------



## fatlane (Jan 21, 2007)

I think we've got a lock on the sponsorship deal!


----------



## porkchop (Jan 25, 2007)

THE PRINCESS with a Problem

Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, the PRINCESS. 
But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what! 
Metal, wood, stone, anything she touched would melt. 
Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. 
The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter? 
He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, 
"If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured." 
The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan. 

The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth. 
THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE. 
The first brought a sword of the finest steel. 

But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted. 
The prince went away sadly. 

The second prince brought diamonds. 

He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted. 
He too was sent away disappointed. 

The third prince approached. He told the princess, "Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there." 

The princess did as she was told, though she turned red.

She felt something hard. She held it in her hand. And it did not melt!! 
The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed. 
And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after. 

Question: What was in the prince's pants? 

M&M's of course. 

They melt in your mouth, not in your hand. 
What were you thinking??


----------



## fatlane (Jan 25, 2007)

That's gonna get us pulled off the ClearChannel stations...


----------



## Jane (Jan 25, 2007)

fatlane said:


> That's gonna get us pulled off the ClearChannel stations...



Proof there is a God.


----------



## Timberwolf (Jan 25, 2007)

Jane said:


> Proof there is a God.


Are you sure? :blink:


----------



## Jane (Jan 25, 2007)

Timberwolf said:


> Are you sure? :blink:



No, but I have an idea.

(Watched Dogma WAY too many times)


----------



## Timberwolf (Jan 25, 2007)

Ah, ideas... there are so many of them...




...too many, sometimes...


----------



## fatlane (Jan 25, 2007)

What say we have a special pudding-themed episode?


----------



## Buffie (Jan 26, 2007)

Buffie's idea...

A call-in show!

Callers, let us know what you'd say to long-lost best friends! 

Tonight, mine called me and I called him an un-PC slur, a hooker, a ho, and booger-snot. He called me a variety of fat-themed nicknames and then we talked about the Bring-Back-The-Buzz-Dawg and why he hates my hair.

I love him and I miss him and I wish he were here right now.


----------



## fatlane (Jan 26, 2007)

:: Calls in to own show ::

Hey Buffie, wassup?


----------



## Buffie (Jan 26, 2007)

Sup wit you? Did you check your email? 

I know you're long, but I didn't know you were lost.


----------



## fatlane (Jan 26, 2007)

Oh I checked it all right.

My only question is do you wanna have the action posted here or in the clubhouse?


----------



## Buffie (Jan 26, 2007)

What is this action of which you speak?


----------



## fatlane (Jan 26, 2007)

I think you know.

No, wait, you wouldn't ask if you knew.

Er, um... do I have to lay it all out for you in black and white?


----------



## Buffie (Jan 26, 2007)

Eventually yes. But you don't have to right now because I'm going to go have a little bit of nachos and then sleepy time. 

Hold that thought, FL. We talk action soon.

Sweet taco dreams to you. Ooops, that my dream. Sorry.

Uhhh....
Sweet arty stuff and cute chunky chick dreams to you! Better? Yes, much.


----------



## fatlane (Jan 26, 2007)

Indubitably. It paints a pretty picture, it does.


----------



## Obesus (Jan 26, 2007)

But back to SERIOUS matters.....world domination! Aha! http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html
I am thinking that we need a new Evil Overlord around these here parts...one who is pudding-friendly! :shocked: 
BTW, if you want a good time, image-Google "pudding" and you will be treated to some Austrian women...who seem to be pudding-wrestling or some such! Much too much for our family-oriented Dim-Boards here. Why the chap below them has covered his head in pudding and then saran-wrapped it, remains a mystery, though!


----------



## fatlane (Jan 27, 2007)

Wow... and I gotta follow _that?_

DISCO PUDDING!


----------



## fatlane (Jan 27, 2007)

By the way, Obesus and I went to Croatia and shot a video. Check it out and let us know what you think of it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VP2u7n1In5A


----------



## Timberwolf (Jan 27, 2007)

! :bounce: (I wish I had a better matching smiley...)


----------



## fatlane (Jan 27, 2007)

Our leading ladies were delicious, weren't they?


----------



## herin (Jan 27, 2007)

Obesus said:


> But back to SERIOUS matters.....world domination! Aha! http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html
> I am thinking that we need a new Evil Overlord around these here parts...one who is pudding-friendly! :shocked:



I am loving the overlord list! And ya know, fyi? I am pudding friendly.


----------



## fatlane (Jan 27, 2007)

Well hop on in, hon! We got a whole hot tub full of pudding here!


----------



## herin (Jan 27, 2007)

Yahoo! Fat girl in pudding...sounds like fun


----------



## fatlane (Jan 27, 2007)

Oh believe us, it IS!


----------



## Obesus (Jan 28, 2007)

...we swung around, Moscow-like and did a few films with Messer Chups on the way back home to Serbia...give us the glad-hand on these little ditties,eh!?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MwbreHkZbg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiyxQJNPjvE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIZZQrD622o



fatlane said:


> By the way, Obesus and I went to Croatia and shot a video. Check it out and let us know what you think of it.
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VP2u7n1In5A


----------



## Obesus (Jan 28, 2007)

If that got your interest, we might just be making you-all an honorary member of the International Order of Lackeys, Henchpersons and Minions! Wa-hooooey! Yee-haw! Pudding...fat folk and...MAD SCIENTISTS....it is just an unbeatable combo! 



herin said:


> I am loving the overlord list! And ya know, fyi? I am pudding friendly.


----------



## Obesus (Jan 28, 2007)

...to Messer Chups' song, "Super Megara"...the samples in the song at the beginning and end are the voice of Criswell in Ed Woods' even-more-bizarre-than-usual 1965 film, "Orgy of the Dead." It turns out that he was too drunk to actually direct the movie, so his screenplay was turned over to soft-corn porn director "A.C.Stephens." The movie is essentially a series of interminable striptease acts, but the kicker is that the girls are obviously dancing to some kind of music, and it isn't the same music that you are hearing! Criswell's lines were even more bizarre than usual: "Yes, she pleases me, so I will permit her to live in the world of the snakes; but now I must speak with the Wolfman and the Mummy!" Wha????? What the hell is he talking about? The movie stars a moth-eaten version of the Mummy and Wolfman characters and is just a hoot if you have enough coffee to stay awake during the whole thing! Ed Woods was also commissioned to do one of the early tie-in books...a picture book with some of the lines from the movie, but the photos were not taken directly from the movie...they came from some other photo sessions totally unrelated....!?????? Wowsers!


----------



## fatlane (Jan 28, 2007)

I knew there had to be an Ed Wood tie in somehow.


----------



## Obesus (Jan 28, 2007)

...there might be a bit of a "*tie-up*" as well as a "tie-in", as we observe the illustration on the cover of the paperback (A Greenleaf "Classic," so-called...one assumes that they use that word loosely!) depicting young horror-author "Bob" and his wife tied to stakes in the graveyard of horror as the Wolfman and the manic blonde play in the fog! Oooooh...I shouldn't ought to have done that, but for once, the Master plays straight-man to the minion and look at the poor results! I am ashamed.:blush: 

Did I mention that Crispin Helion Glover is going to be playing Montag the Magnificent in the remake of Herschel Gordon Lewis' classic "The Wizard of Gore"???? Ramses Fuad, crazed Egyptian caterer cannot be far behind, methinks! Muahahahah 



fatlane said:


> I knew there had to be an Ed Wood *tie in *somehow.


----------



## fatlane (Jan 28, 2007)

And I notice the Bob reference as well... We can cut to the chase and point out how Criswell and L. Ron Hubbard bear a resemblance to each other... Was Plan Nine the Babalon Working?

We'll be back with the answer right after this commercial break. Don't go away.


----------



## Obesus (Jan 29, 2007)

Now I am all a quiver, just thinking about Connie's sacred panties...wonder if BOB was trying them on????????! Yes..I see it all now....the links..Ned...Ned Sonntag! Where are you when we need some support over here! We bow again, before the Master, for all is set aright in the COSMOS! :bow: 



fatlane said:


> And I notice the Bob reference as well... We can cut to the chase and point out how Criswell and L. Ron Hubbard bear a resemblance to each other... Was Plan Nine the Babalon Working?
> 
> We'll be back with the answer right after this commercial break. Don't go away.



Uhhhhh...I hope we have not gone too far astray again...is Buffie involved in some intimate way with all of this? Hmmmmmmmm?


----------



## Ned Sonntag (Jan 29, 2007)

What's all this about? Anyway can I have post#1147?


----------



## Jack Skellington (Jan 29, 2007)

Ned Sonntag said:


> What's all this about?



I have no idea. But then, I never do. So it's business as usual!


----------



## Jack Skellington (Jan 29, 2007)

Obesus said:


> If that got your interest, we might just be making you-all an honorary member of the International Order of Lackeys, Henchpersons and Minions! Wa-hooooey! Yee-haw! Pudding...fat folk and...MAD SCIENTISTS....it is just an unbeatable combo!



Are you the bully of your school or even the victim of bullying? Do you watch movies of costume heroes and think “Wow, that guy is a pussy. I sure hope a much cooler bad guy kicks his ass.”

I am not a mind reader stranger. You like so many others are drawn to the sexy action packed lifestyle of the professional henchman.


----------



## Obesus (Jan 29, 2007)

It is a long and heartbreaking story involving Ed Wood and his cabal of Hollywood henchpersonnages, including Criswell, L. Ron Hubbard, J.R. Bob Dobbs and that dastardly Jack Parsons...at least I think those are the personae dramatis of the story...somehow H. Spencer Lewis must fit in there too...say, three of those characters have letters instead of first names because it sounded snappier....SAY, that is what *I *need to do...*T.John *O'Neill, it is then! History is made. Hmmmm...maybe T.J. "Damian" O'Neill, arch-foe of the Anti-Pope....errrrrr....it might be time for my meds here. Ahem.
The Correlationistas have arrived!  



Ned Sonntag said:


> What's all this about? Anyway can I have post#1147?


----------



## herin (Jan 29, 2007)

Obesus said:


> If that got your interest, we might just be making you-all an honorary member of the International Order of Lackeys, Henchpersons and Minions! Wa-hooooey! Yee-haw! Pudding...fat folk and...MAD SCIENTISTS....it is just an unbeatable combo!



Heck yeah! I always thought I would make a great minion. On a side note, is it weird that I have always wanted to be arrested for mayhem??


----------



## Obesus (Jan 29, 2007)

Truth be told, good henchpersonnages are a rarity these days...those who can dance the ballet of the sap and the tango of the brass knuckles are a dying breed, so all we have are those darn thugs...worhless; completely worthless, I tell you! Now the good minion these days earns top dollar, since lackeys are so commonplace and plentiful...a well-trained minion is worth a pile of gold to the Mad Scientist with some "black-budget" funding (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more)  Take Master Fatlane, for example. He houses his minions in style and sends them to the local community college for art history courses and other cultural accoutrements as well as the usual "how to water brains" sort of biology stuff. The man is a saint of Science and should be nominated for some big-wig prize off in Stockholm or somewhere Norwegian. :bow: 



Jack Skellington said:


> Are you the bully of your school or even the victim of bullying? Do you watch movies of costume heroes and think Wow, that guy is a pussy. I sure hope a much cooler bad guy kicks his ass.
> 
> I am not a mind reader stranger. You like so many others are drawn to the sexy action packed lifestyle of the professional henchman.


----------



## Obesus (Jan 29, 2007)

Herin, I think we should induct you into the Order this week... just as soon as I water Master Fatlane's garden of brains and make sure the kittens are not getting into that closet with the robots again...wink, wink! Mayhemmage is an art-form all in itself and requires great courage and fortitude...learning how to drive a huge diesel truck might be a good entry into that line of service-oriented work since it is easier to smash things with large trucks than bare-handed, although the old trusty atomic hand-cannon works wonders in a pinch when the Master needs some mayhem...where the line is drawn between miniondom and henchpersonnage is a tricky thing!  



herin said:


> Heck yeah! I always thought I would make a great minion. On a side note, is it weird that I have always wanted to be arrested for mayhem??


----------



## Timberwolf (Jan 29, 2007)

Ned Sonntag said:


> What's all this about? Anyway can I have post#1147?


I think I'll wait for post #4711...


----------



## fatlane (Jan 29, 2007)

Obesus: Oh pshaw, t'waren't nothing.

Ned: Of course you can have 1147. Wink wink nudge nudge say no more.

Everyone else: If the above is confusing you, here's something you should be able to wrap your brains around.


----------



## porkchop (Jan 29, 2007)

Do you think M & M's will melt in pudding????


----------



## fatlane (Jan 29, 2007)

Only one way to find out.

Hop on in and we'll see if you melt.

Actually, you won't melt in our hands, so maybe we should hold you...


----------



## Buffie (Jan 30, 2007)

So what are you guys talking about? I tried to guess by just looking at the pictures but unless you're talking about horror movies where devil guys have lasers that shoot pudding and nacho ninja stars....

Y'know what's weird? I thought I saw ZZ Top performing on Miss America just now! LOL I know, duh! There's clearly and error on the satellite schedule. Because there is no damn way I'm watching ZZ Top, yet the Info button says Miss American and it's correct. Nuh uh. 

But for a second I was all "ohmigawd, I've gotta stop taking my meds with Miller Lite."

I hope I didn't misssspell anything. I'm sleepy and my brain is numb.


----------



## Obesus (Jan 30, 2007)

Let us just say that while the Buffie is away, the kittens will play and I am, I fear, the worst offender; the very ringleader and chief henchpersonnage of the "Wild Kittens" gang around here...I have been found out and I will take my punishment with courage, as long as it involves some nice pudding and a stern spanking from Mistress Buffie! 
While you were off in Buffie-land, we did figure out the secret structure of the dread Illuminati...it involves Criswell and that darn Ed Wood! At least we think so!  ZZ Top rules, btw! Yahooooey :bow: 



Buffie said:


> So what are you guys talking about? I tried to guess by just looking at the pictures but unless you're talking about horror movies where devil guys have lasers that shoot pudding and nacho ninja stars....
> 
> Y'know what's weird? I thought I saw ZZ Top performing on Miss America just now! LOL I know, duh! There's clearly and error on the satellite schedule. Because there is no damn way I'm watching ZZ Top, yet the Info button says Miss American and it's correct. Nuh uh.
> 
> ...


----------



## Buffie (Jan 30, 2007)

I think I speak for everyone here... which is me... when I say "who is Criswell?"


----------



## Obesus (Jan 30, 2007)

Jeron Criswell King (August 18, 1907  October 4, 1982) born Jeron Criswell Konig, and known by his stage-name *The Amazing Criswell*, was an American psychic who was famous for his wildly inaccurate predictions. Criswell was born with the last name of Konig but later changed it to King and often represented it as his middle name, frequently credited as Jeron King Criswell.

Criswell found cinematic infamy in the movies of Ed Wood, including Plan 9 from Outer Space (filmed 1956, released 1959) Night of the Ghouls (filmed 1959, released 1987) and Orgy of the Dead (1965). He was portrayed by actor Jeffrey Jones in the biopic Ed Wood (1994), in which it is suggested that Criswell was simply a showman and never claimed to be a real psychic. However, those who knew him, such as actress and fellow Plan 9 alumna Maila Nurmi ("Vampira"), have disputed this. According to writer Charles A. Coulombe, whose family rented an apartment from the psychic, Criswell told Coulombe's father "_ had the gift, but  lost it when I started taking money for it."

Criswell was a flamboyant figure, best remembered for his spitcurled hair, his stentorian speaking style, and his sequined tuxedo. He was the possessor of a coffin, in which he claimed to sleep, and which found its way into a later Ed Wood film, the pornographic Necromania from 1971.




Buffie said:



I think I speak for everyone here... which is me... when I say "who is Criswell?"

Click to expand...

_


----------



## porkchop (Jan 30, 2007)

Buffie said:


> I think I speak for everyone here... which is me... when I say "who is Criswell?"



Thank you Buffie for speaking for me as well....there was no way I was jumping into that whole conversation.....
I think they just like to use big words to confuse us.....


----------



## Obesus (Jan 30, 2007)

No, not trying to confuse, we just like obscure cheesy horror movies and fascinatingly strange and arcane stuff! It adds spice and pep to our dull, dreary, isolated and lonely lives as FA's and Fat Tantric Holy Men....you know, like sneaking that copy of "Fate" magazine or "UFO Times" into your physics book at High School? I mean, we are nerdly geeks, after all! :bow: 




porkchop said:


> Thank you Buffie for speaking for me as well....there was no way I was jumping into that whole conversation.....
> I think they just like to use big words to confuse us.....


----------



## porkchop (Jan 30, 2007)

Obesus said:


> No, not trying to confuse, we just like obscure cheesy horror movies and fascinatingly strange and arcane stuff! It adds spice and pep to our dull, dreary, isolated and lonely lives as FA's and Fat Tantric Holy Men....you know, like sneaking that copy of "Fate" magazine or "UFO Times" into your physics book at High School? I mean, we are nerdly geeks, after all! :bow:



I accept the explanation...thank you...:wubu: Where were you when I needed help passing my physics course...??? lol


----------



## fatlane (Jan 30, 2007)

Britney can help with your physics...


----------



## Obesus (Jan 30, 2007)

I was working on astronomy over at U.C.Berkeley so I probably didn't get your call here in the home in Frisco until too late at night...or something like that! At any rate, if you ever need science help again or Fat Tantric Holy Man type advice, just let me know and I will respond ASAP or faster! :bow: I will probably also bring some M&M's, just be neighborly and such!!! :blush: 



porkchop said:


> I accept the explanation...thank you...:wubu: Where were you when I needed help passing my physics course...??? lol


----------



## porkchop (Jan 31, 2007)

Obesus said:


> I was working on astronomy over at U.C.Berkeley so I probably didn't get your call here in the home in Frisco until too late at night...or something like that! At any rate, if you ever need science help again or Fat Tantric Holy Man type advice, just let me know and I will respond ASAP or faster! :bow: I will probably also bring some M&M's, just be neighborly and such!!! :blush:



Mmmmmmmmmmmm m&m"s? :eat2: I am almost tempted to take a course in something so I can seek your help!!!  Thank you so very much for your kind support!


----------



## fatlane (Jan 31, 2007)

Put 'em in the particle accelerator and see what they're made of!


----------



## Obesus (Feb 1, 2007)

I did as you said....and the results are both astounding and fascinating...I believe we have an entirely new class of fundamental particles...M&Matrons...they behave like Tau Leptons, but have the heaviest mass of any particle yet discovered and the particle flavor is not of this earth....never recorded before. Our psych-lab minions report that these new particles cure depression and increase the roundabiliosity factor....I am stunned...and racing down to the Mini-mart store to get me some of this wonder-medication and entirely new form of matter to put it to the personal test! Bingo! Thanks for the suggestion... once again, you will win some big-shot science prize off in Croatia or some other exotic place! :bow: 



fatlane said:


> Put 'em in the particle accelerator and see what they're made of!


----------



## Timberwolf (Feb 1, 2007)

Interesting... Maybe I should get me some of them, too...


----------



## fatlane (Feb 1, 2007)

CELEBRATION! UNZA UNZA TIME!

http://video.google.com/url?vidurl=...rc=sr2&usg=AL29H23DOZrszoHF51WgxWHxArR6Q5Sz4g


----------



## Obesus (Feb 2, 2007)

You the MAN; this the sauce! Man, I don't know exactly how you do it, but you are out there, like coolsville, daddy-O! As far as Gypsy-punk, though, I still favor Szeki Kurva, aka The Fighting Cocks! Approved by the Pope!:bow: 



fatlane said:


> CELEBRATION! UNZA UNZA TIME!
> 
> http://video.google.com/url?vidurl=...rc=sr2&usg=AL29H23DOZrszoHF51WgxWHxArR6Q5Sz4g


----------



## mango (Feb 3, 2007)

*Anyone here into banana preservation??

 * 

View attachment CondomBanana.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Feb 3, 2007)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=627gRcGJLX8

The continuing adventures of Fabio and Mufasa in Molotov's "Amateur".


----------



## fatlane (Feb 3, 2007)

http://video.google.com/url?vidurl=...rc=sr1&usg=AL29H22Dg1NVDuB16xYnVIB6nJZLPTfA-Q

A very metal Charlie Brown Christmas.


----------



## Obesus (Feb 3, 2007)

I am soooooo glad that you caught the You-tube virus-bug!  It compliments your magic Google-searchin' fingers! Muchas Gracias! :bow: 



fatlane said:


> http://video.google.com/url?vidurl=...rc=sr1&usg=AL29H22Dg1NVDuB16xYnVIB6nJZLPTfA-Q
> 
> A very metal Charlie Brown Christmas.


----------



## Obesus (Feb 3, 2007)

To paraphrase the great Viennese Psychologist, I think it fair to say that: "Sometimes a banana is really good with a little whipped cream and a couple of big red cherries and....uhhhhhhhh....oooooooh, somehow that doesn't sound quite right....I think I will closet myself with the DSM-IV-TR....uhhhhhhh, this isn't coming out quite right here...maybe a nice cold shower....oh frammus! This Freud guy has me coming and going...heck.  



mango said:


> *Anyone here into banana preservation??
> 
> *


----------



## Jane (Feb 4, 2007)

Obesus said:


> To paraphrase the great Viennese Psychologist, I think it fair to say that: "Sometimes a banana is really good with a little whipped cream and a couple of big red cherries and....uhhhhhhhh....oooooooh, somehow that doesn't sound quite right....I think I will closet myself with the DSM-IV-TR....uhhhhhhh, this isn't coming out quite right here...maybe a nice cold shower....oh frammus! This Freud guy has me coming and going...heck.



Well, coming anyway.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 4, 2007)

_From http://dsmivtr.org/2-1faqs.cfm :_

Q: What does it mean if a diagnosis is not included in the DSM?

A: It means it's a load of hooey and should never have been a diagnosis in the first place. It means the Scientologists have one more rock to throw at the psychiatric profession as a whole. Do not discuss non-DSM diagnoses within 50 meters of Tom Cruise. It means that, as of 1994, it is invalid and not worthy of being a focus of research or treatment.


----------



## Jane (Feb 4, 2007)

fatlane said:


> _From http://dsmivtr.org/2-1faqs.cfm :_
> 
> Q: What does it mean if a diagnosis is not included in the DSM?
> 
> A: It means it's a load of hooey and should never have been a diagnosis in the first place. It means the Scientologists have one more rock to throw at the psychiatric profession as a whole. Do not discuss non-DSM diagnoses within 50 meters of Tom Cruise. It means that, as of 1994, it is invalid and not worthy of being a focus of research or treatment.



It means the psychiatrist is not getting paid, and they better find another diagnosis.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 4, 2007)

Q: The last big revision was DSM-IV in 1994. How do I find out about the reasons for making these changes?

A: Hey, we gotta make our money somehow. If we don't update, we don't eat.


----------



## Jane (Feb 4, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Q: The last big revision was DSM-IV in 1994. How do I find out about the reasons for making these changes?
> 
> A: Hey, we gotta make our money somehow. If we don't update, we don't eat.



http://www.dsmivtr.org/codingalert.cfm

Because Sleep Disorders pay, and they pay big.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 4, 2007)

www.netvibes.com

Cool stuff, my friends. One day, we'll all be an RSS feed...


----------



## Obesus (Feb 4, 2007)

Am I sensing a bit of touchiness around our headshrinker friends? Hey, they are pretty much all big ol' Axis II types anyhoo! You sort of have to be, to exist in the profession... My favorite wacky diagnosis is "Math disorder"...I think that one is pretty sure to get dropped from DSM-V! :doh: 



Jane said:


> It means the psychiatrist is not getting paid, and they better find another diagnosis.


----------



## Obesus (Feb 4, 2007)

...to the American Psychiatric Association and their big brother type enforcers, AHIMA, the American Healthcare Information Management Association...the changes in the DSM are actually made on the authority of a "panel" of shrinks, but one of them usually takes final responsibility and writes the clinical description. What is fascinating is that if you walk around San Francisco, you will see more and more of the black, white and blue striped flags with the big red heart, standing for SM/BD relationships in the house! Even back in the 80's I knew Psychologists who were practising SM/BD and trying to organize to get the paraphilias out of the DSM asap! I haven't been active in the community for almost 15 years, but I have a little bit of community pride and astonishment that they finally got their acts together and started organizing...now, if fat people could follow that act with a bit of self-identifying bravado! How many times have we talked about some sort of symbol or logo for fat admiration?????? How about one for fat pride???????:bow: 



fatlane said:


> Q: The last big revision was DSM-IV in 1994. How do I find out about the reasons for making these changes?
> 
> A: Hey, we gotta make our money somehow. If we don't update, we don't eat.


----------



## Obesus (Feb 4, 2007)

Back on track with the Buffie and Fatlane show...featuring this week's musical guests, the Wipeouters:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUpbg1uL29o&mode=related&search=


----------



## fatlane (Feb 5, 2007)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-o4Eh236w4


----------



## Obesus (Feb 12, 2007)

Moving right along from Natacha Atlas into the Mysteries of the Giza Death-Star, I think it is about time that we give this thread its' inherent right to cut loose and dance on the carpet until it falls down on its' tuchus! Or some such bellydance type concept!  :bow: Die we miss Buffie along the turn at Damascus? Hmmmmmmmmm? :doh:


----------



## fatlane (Feb 12, 2007)

I think it's absolutely high time someone exposed those piles of limestone for what they are!






It's like a BOMSIGHT down there!


----------



## Obesus (Feb 13, 2007)

...but the Buffie is a *Bombshell*! I think we have angered the Buffie-wan-kenobi..she has avoided this thread for ever so long...I am distraught and beframmused.  



fatlane said:


> I think it's absolutely high time someone exposed those piles of limestone for what they are!
> It's like a BOMBSIGHT down there!


----------



## Buffie (Feb 14, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ...but the Buffie is a *Bombshell*! I think we have angered the Buffie-wan-kenobi..she has avoided this thread for ever so long...I am distraught and beframmused.



Oh sweetie no. Haven't been avoiding. Been gone. For the real. Days at a time. 

The Buffie's schedule is a little... uhhh... full. And let's not forget I'm still recovering from SARS.

Because I've whined to everyone else, I'm going to whine to you, too.

2007 blows chunks.

I lost my big toenail on my right foot because I literally cannot walk and chew gum at the same time.

I got bird flu. It felt like bird flu anyway. It was a sinus infection that progressively became bronchitis and was heading in the direction of pneumonia until the fecking drugs finally started doing what they should have done a week prior. That junk has stayed with me for a goddamned month. ~pout~ I even missed almost a week of work! 

But wait... it gets worse!

The weekend before last, I was curling my hair and I DROPPED MY CURLING IRON on my BOOB! Huge grody looking burn on the side of my left booby. It is so wrong! Ask HotBBWnKC, she saw it. It is healing really well though. Glad for that.

I really should get a business interruption policy to cover things like this. Anyone here sell weird insurance? 

And I've been spending a lot of time at the office because tax season is upon us and I got behind when I was sick.

I WISH I would have been here rather than any of the above. 

Thanks for thinkin I'm a bombshell. That's purty sweet of yas.

Happy Valentine's Day! :wubu: :kiss2:


----------



## Obesus (Feb 14, 2007)

That is just terrible.....the Master Fatlane and I and all of our Dims-folk are sending you massive healing vibes and get-well crescendos! May the good luck bunnies of Spring bring you....uhhhhh..good luck! :bow: 
PS...whining is really good for the soul...our therapists and psychiatrists do it with me all the time! It seems to help them with their simple woodland-creature type lives!  



Buffie said:


> Oh sweetie no. Haven't been avoiding. Been gone. For the real. Days at a time.
> 
> The Buffie's schedule is a little... uhhh... full. And let's not forget I'm still recovering from SARS.
> 
> ...


----------



## fatlane (Feb 14, 2007)

I once got a curling iron burn on the backside of my arm. Took years before it went away.

Yowch.

Our rain dances go out to you, Buffie.


----------



## Buffie (Feb 15, 2007)

Thanks guys!

Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs!!! 

Nite nite.

~Buf


----------



## fatlane (Feb 15, 2007)

Buffie said:


> Thanks guys!
> 
> Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs!!!
> 
> ...



Nick at Nick at back at'cha.


----------



## Buffie (Feb 16, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Nick at Nick at back at'cha.



I don't know what language that is, but it's go mojo. Kinda like some secret guy-code Frank Sinatra would have used with Sammy and Dean. LOL 

Dooooo Beee Dooo Bee Doooooooooooo.


----------



## Obesus (Feb 21, 2007)

Kewlsville, like totally deck there, Fatlane, Daddy-O...dark green, man. I think I need to break out my copy of "The Hipster's Handbook" and take a long walk down Valencia Street over by my work, which is, according to the Handbook, "Ground Zero of hipsterdom!" Check out the Maxwell!   




Buffie said:


> I don't know what language that is, but it's go mojo. Kinda like some secret guy-code Frank Sinatra would have used with Sammy and Dean. LOL
> 
> Dooooo Beee Dooo Bee Doooooooooooo.


----------



## Jane (Feb 21, 2007)

Obe, I am SO stealing that to send to my son.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 21, 2007)

Holy crap. I'm on the moon and I'm getting great wireless reception here! This is so awesome! Here's a pic I just snapped. Gorgeous view.






I can't believe they just left that buggy sitting there. We put a new battery in it and it still runs! We did donuts around the US flag nearby. Too bad there aren't any good restaurants up here. Space tourism is yet in its infancy.


----------



## Timberwolf (Feb 21, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Holy crap. I'm on the moon and I'm getting great wireless reception here! This is so awesome! Here's a pic I just snapped. Gorgeous view.
> 
> I can't believe they just left that buggy sitting there. We put a new battery in it and it still runs! *We did donuts around the US flag nearby.* Too bad there aren't any good restaurants up here. Space tourism is yet in its infancy.


:doh:And I was wondering about these dust clouds...


----------



## FreeThinker (Feb 21, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Holy crap. I'm on the moon and I'm getting great wireless reception here! This is so awesome! Here's a pic I just snapped. Gorgeous view.
> 
> I can't believe they just left that buggy sitting there. We put a new battery in it and it still runs! We did donuts around the US flag nearby. Too bad there aren't any good restaurants up here. Space tourism is yet in its infancy.



*HEY!





Get off my land!*​

.


----------



## Buffie (Feb 21, 2007)

FreeThinker said:


> *HEY!
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Whaaa ha ha haaaaaaaa!    

PERFECT.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 22, 2007)

Sez you.


----------



## Obesus (Feb 22, 2007)

I'll see your duck and raise you a Porky Pig-cowpoke! Nanner Nanner! 




fatlane said:


> Sez you.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 22, 2007)

Now I need to pull out all the stops after eating a smoked meat pizza. Yummers.


----------



## Obesus (Feb 23, 2007)

...and raise you an alternate history thingy with a Holy Blood, Holy Grail kinda' twang! Smoked meat? Ooooooooh...my weakness....ahhhhh...you exploit my vulnerable area! AHA!:blush: 



fatlane said:


> Now I need to pull out all the stops after eating a smoked meat pizza. Yummers.


----------



## fatlane (Feb 23, 2007)

That's just wild, man.


----------



## Obesus (Feb 24, 2007)

Fine arts cafe'! Over there, down Prague-town way!


fatlane said:


> That's just wild, man.


----------



## Obesus (Feb 25, 2007)

Since you are obviously off on one of your delicate diplomatic missions, I will save the thread single-handedly and with alacrity! Were you here in your august presence, the dialog would go something like this:
"Yes, Obesus, I get it, now...Munch can be prounounced _two_ ways....as "munch," as in "to munch" a tasty snack product and then, again, as "Munch" prounounced "Moonk"..the famous Norwegian Symbolist painter, Edvard Munch. Ah, disciple Obeusus...I see that your dazzling wit has again struck across the starlit skies like a meteor!" 
"Ahem...Yes, Master Fatlane...I owe it all to *you* and those fabulous Community College art appreciation classes that you keep forcing me to attend! :blink: " Behind every great minion, there stands a mad scientist with a big ol' bull-whip and a checkbook ready to whip out for the registrar! We shall not discuss which shadowy agency is really financing my classes, at this time! Thank you for your kind attention, one and all. :bow: 



Obesus said:


> Munch's Fine arts cafe'! Over there, down Prague-town way!


----------



## fatlane (Feb 26, 2007)

This one's a must-read you simply must read.


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 26, 2007)

Howdy folks!

View attachment taco_2.gif


----------



## Obesus (Feb 26, 2007)

It is part of the Miskatonic University curriculum for my Master's Degree in Medieval Metaphysics...and I note with some interest that the cover is a drawing by none other than our beloved artiste', Austin Osman Spare....ahhh...I am loving those dark and foggy nights out on the moors!  



fatlane said:


> This one's a must-read you simply must read.


----------



## Obesus (Feb 26, 2007)

Swamptoad...thank you for awakening the Master Fatlane and I from our deuce'd reveries! Tacos it is then.....let there be tacos and Buffies, M&M's and Porkchops everyone in every home! Avast! :bow: 





swamptoad said:


> Howdy folks!


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 27, 2007)

Well,, the buffet looks mighty delightful. Wish I could partake in a smackerel of somethin' or other right about now. :eat2:


----------



## fatlane (Feb 27, 2007)

_Your search - Osman Spare taco - did not match any documents.

Suggestions:

* Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
* Try different keywords.
* Try more general keywords.
* Try fewer keywords._

Curses!


----------



## porkchop (Feb 27, 2007)

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....M & M"s..............have you seen the new Easter ones coming out????????? Yummy!!!!:eat2: :wubu: :wubu:


----------



## fatlane (Feb 27, 2007)

Show us a preview, if you can.


----------



## FreeThinker (Feb 27, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Show us a preview, if you can.



Is it just me, or did that sound just the slightest bit lecherous?








Just me, then?






Hm.


----------



## Janet (Feb 27, 2007)

Obesus said:


> Tacos it is then.....let there be tacos and Buffies, M&M's and Porkchops everyone in every home! Avast! :bow:



 Is anyone else just a little freaked out that a poster named porkchop appeared in this thread shortly after this?????


----------



## Obesus (Feb 27, 2007)

For ages and ages, two of our most steadfast posters to this thread have been the redoubtable Miss Buffie, whose love for tacos is known far and wide and the Canadian Delight herself, Miss Porkchop! Hence, when I was replying to our own lad Swamptoad, I mentioned "Porkchops" as in the poster, not the tender meat! Things do get a bit frammused here from time to time, since we have so many puns and amusements involving food. Now, Miss Porkchop is a world-class lover of M&M's, so when I was referring to "Porkchops and M&M's" it was as if with one sweep of the hand, so to speak....the thread-postress and her most favorite snack in one phrase.....one imagined Buffie and Porkchop enjoying a buffet of Tacos and M&M decorated desserts....
Have I helped to clear or muddy the deep waters of this thread? I am most often accused of the muddying sort of activity, and it is my nature to be dark and obscure in many matters...since I am a designated Fat Holy Man and Seer of the anomolous....



Janet said:


> Is anyone else just a little freaked out that a poster named porkchop appeared in this thread shortly after this?????


----------



## Janet (Feb 28, 2007)

Well, I did wonder why you capitalized "Porkchops".

Thank you for 'splainin'.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled program.


----------



## Obesus (Feb 28, 2007)

Lend us a bit of linkage to such things...Easter M&M's bring visions of sheer delight to mind and tastebud alike...did I ever mention that my dear ex-wife was fascinated with the idea of "Lemon M&M's"???....she even did a small painting of them....:bow: 



porkchop said:


> mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....M & M"s..............have you seen the new Easter ones coming out????????? Yummy!!!!:eat2: :wubu: :wubu:


----------



## Obesus (Feb 28, 2007)

This thread has become so long and burthened with so many in-jokes and references that it may need a really good Spring-cleansing....or a thread guide and dictionary!!!...we need to get back to the fundamentals..Fatlane, Buffie, Porkchop, and our crew of zanies, new and familiar! I do wish to bid you a formal "welcome" to the thread ....we look forward to sharing out frivolous amusements with you in future! :bow:  



Janet said:


> Well, I did wonder why you capitalized "Porkchops".
> 
> Thank you for 'splainin'.
> 
> Now, back to your regularly scheduled program.


----------



## swamptoad (Feb 28, 2007)

*Commercial Break*

Salute Your Shorts! It's Donkeylips, Sponge, Ug, Z.Z. and the rest of the gang from Camp Anawanna.

View attachment 4509104622.jpg


YAY!!! Awesome Video Games!!!

View attachment kq1_3_16.gif


Groovy slap-on bracelets!

View attachment TieDyedSlapBracelets.jpg


My Pet Monster

View attachment my%20pet%20monster_large.jpg


It's Tandy 1000!!!


----------



## SchecterFA (Feb 28, 2007)

swamptoad said:


> *Commercial Break*
> 
> Salute Your Shorts! It's Donkeylips, Sponge, Ug, Z.Z. and the rest of the gang from Camp Anawanna.
> 
> View attachment 15897




That's giving me quite a flashback.


----------



## porkchop (Feb 28, 2007)

I just love it when I cause confusion....


----------



## Obesus (Feb 28, 2007)

This thread is becoming its' own major eco-system with sub-tributaries and meandering riverlets! You need a scorecard to keep track of the players. Miss Porkchop, I think the only thing you cause around these parts is merriment and fun!  We do need a new M&M drive, though, since these new-fangled Easter models are coming out....I say we have a virtual M&M songfest around our virtual campfire! What say? :eat2: Custom colors and messages? We need to have a contest for the special "Porkchop" deluxe custom M&M, methinks.

http://www.mymms.com/customprint/index.asp?src=111399&sc_cid=dr_mmno_m1d0600dmm11036



porkchop said:


> I just love it when I cause confusion....


----------



## Obesus (Mar 5, 2007)

....that Miss Buffie has recently posted a jaw-droppingly wonderful post on the Pay-site board...nope....not even gonna' mention it at all...but as I sink into my twilight years, it is good to know that the young-un's are still gatherin' around the electronic campfire to celebrate Buffie-Day as is the tradition here...for "Every Day Is Buffie-Day!" round these 'yar parts! Pardner!
PS...how _does_ Gabby get his hat to do that wonderful "been sat on by a horse" look? Hmmm?


----------



## swamptoad (Mar 5, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ....that Miss Buffie has recently posted a jaw-droppingly wonderful post on the Pay-site board...nope....not even gonna' mention it at all...but as I sink into my twilight years, it is good to know that the young-un's are still gatherin' around the electronic campfire to celebrate Buffie-Day as is the tradition here...for "Every Day Is Buffie-Day!" round these 'yar parts! Pardner!
> PS...how _does_ Gabby get his hat to do that wonderful "been sat on by a horse" look? Hmmm?



Gabby?

He sorta looks like Boomer from "The Wilderness Family", I reckon. I rented that movie for the kids a while back. 

If you haven't seen it, you jus' gotta see it. I've loved this movie ever since I was a kid. :bow:


----------



## Obesus (Mar 5, 2007)

George "Gabby" Hayes was considered the finest character actor ever to appear in Hollywood Westerns during the 40's and 50's...and he was funnier than heck...he invented the catastrophic expression: "Them gol' durn women" which still gets me chuckling in unrestrained mirth. Gabby had his own comic books during the 1950's and every once in awhile I just gets me all nostalgic and weepy over them kinda' things! It is worthwhile to rent an old-timey Roy Rogers movie with Gabby in it, just to watch the humor!

http://www.surfnetinc.com/chuck/pals-gh.htm

I mean, I love me my existential Italian Sphagetti Westerns and Clint Eastwood "Pale Rider"/"High Plains Drifter" movies, but everyoncet in a while...



swamptoad said:


> Gabby?
> 
> He sorta looks like Boomer from "The Wilderness Family", I reckon. I rented that movie for the kids a while back. I will explore "Wilderness Family" thanks for the tip!
> 
> If you haven't seen it, you jus' gotta see it. I've loved this movie ever since I was a kid. :bow:


----------



## Buffie (Mar 5, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ....that Miss Buffie has recently posted a jaw-droppingly wonderful post on the Pay-site board...nope....not even gonna' mention it at all...but as I sink into my twilight years, it is good to know that the young-un's are still gatherin' around the electronic campfire to celebrate Buffie-Day as is the tradition here...for "Every Day Is Buffie-Day!" round these 'yar parts! Pardner!
> PS...how _does_ Gabby get his hat to do that wonderful "been sat on by a horse" look? Hmmm?



Don't drop your jaw too far, OB. Then you'll have to wear a night retainer. Tsk tsk.

Buffie-Day? We like this idea! But y'know what would be more fun? An Obesus History Month! Or maybe Fatlane Tuesday? Perhaps Porkchop-over? Free-Thinker Season? Swamptoad Savings Time? Janet Planet Day? 

Well... I think that just about plans our year. 

~wipes off hands~

My work here is done.


Just kidding. Y'all know I'll be back for more lame interjections and shit that makes no sense whatsoever. 

Random happening today - the elevator on my side of the building smelled like bug spray all afternoon. Gross. I kept riding in it, hoping for some sort of Naked Lunch experience, but it never happened.

I also sat through the most boringest 2 hour meeting ever and I am 20 IQ points dumber just for having thought about it again. Did you know that premium tax is fully earned in South Carolina? They'll only issue a credit in the case of a flat cancellation within 45 days of the effective date of the policy. Stingy wenches.


----------



## Obesus (Mar 6, 2007)

I find that kind of stuff just fascinatin'! Of course, my job involves daily consultation of the California Welfare and Institutions Code, the Business and Professions code and most fascinatingly, CFR 42 part 2 and CFR 45 part 2! Zingers! I especially like the parts about protected healthcare information on emergency band radios....the stuff o' dreams! Say....we should have us a seminar day, along with all of those wonderful events that you dreamed up! I am all up for it! Uhhhhh...errrrr...that didn't sound quite right! :batting: :blush: 



Buffie said:


> I also sat through the most boringest 2 hour meeting ever and I am 20 IQ points dumber just for having thought about it again. Did you know that premium tax is fully earned in South Carolina? They'll only issue a credit in the case of a flat cancellation within 45 days of the effective date of the policy. Stingy wenches.


----------



## FreeThinker (Mar 7, 2007)

Buffie said:


> ...Free-Thinker Season...


I'm not too sure I like the implications of that... 

View attachment FreeThinker Season.jpg


----------



## Buffie (Mar 7, 2007)

Obesus said:


> I find that kind of stuff just fascinatin'! Of course, my job involves daily consultation of the California Welfare and Institutions Code, the Business and Professions code and most fascinatingly, CFR 42 part 2 and CFR 45 part 2! Zingers! I especially like the parts about protected healthcare information on emergency band radios....the stuff o' dreams! Say....we should have us a seminar day, along with all of those wonderful events that you dreamed up! I am all up for it! Uhhhhh...errrrr...that didn't sound quite right! :batting: :blush:



~snort~ :blink: huh? :huh:

LOL 

Is that the face you get when people ask "so, what do you do?".... because that's the look I get. 

Freaks of a feather...


----------



## Buffie (Mar 7, 2007)

FreeThinker said:


> I'm not too sure I like the implications of that...



Hee hee! I hadn't even thought of that. Interesting concept, hrm? I mean, for other people. Not necessarily "Free Thinker" Season. Maybe "Rotten Guy Who No One Likes" Season, something like that.


----------



## FreeThinker (Mar 7, 2007)

Buffie said:


> Hee hee! I hadn't even thought of that. Interesting concept, hrm? I mean, for other people. Not necessarily "Free Thinker" Season. Maybe "Rotten Guy Who No One Likes" Season, something like that.



See my new user title.


----------



## Buffie (Mar 7, 2007)

Awww! Poor Free Thinker. 

But *I* like you.

=)


----------



## Janet (Mar 8, 2007)

Buffie said:


> Janet Planet Day?



I really really like this! 

But everyday is Janet Planet Day for me!!


----------



## Buffie (Mar 8, 2007)

Janet said:


> I really really like this!
> 
> But everyday is Janet Planet Day for me!!



Makes sense... since you're Janet... and you're on this planet (most likely).


----------



## Obesus (Mar 11, 2007)

...has me renewing the sub-thread on Astronomy and Physics...I just loooooove them sub-threads! They give me a chance to philosophize right out loud, every oncet in a blue moon! :bow:


----------



## porkchop (Mar 13, 2007)

Ummmm...Buff? What does Porkchopover entail???? I am a touch worried here.....lol.....explain more fully....pretty please...lol


----------



## Obesus (Mar 21, 2007)

...of page 4 or even page 5 or worse? Should I bump it to the mighty glory of 1st on the list for two seconds? Should I take a guess that a "porkchopover" is a delicious pastry designed by Miss Buffie specifically to tempt Porkchop away from her beloved M&M's? Should I just get back to the business of being a Fat Tantric Holy Man and leave it all alone? Come back tomorrow for the shocking answers!  :bow:


----------



## Timberwolf (Mar 21, 2007)

Well, you just did it, Obe-Wan!


----------



## Obesus (Mar 22, 2007)

I think I did do so...yes...and again and again, I shall raise the banner of our thread high in to the sinking Sun of interest and energy...for, "The Sun never sets on the Buffie, Fatlane and Friends" thread-empire! You too, our dear friend, have aided this gallant and seemingly hopeless attempt to get Buffie, Porkchop, the Master and the other contestants back to the straight and narrow path of our big ol' food-chompin' contest! Salute!:bow:


----------



## Timberwolf (Mar 23, 2007)

Well, you know, life would be kinda boring and meaningless without this show, don't you think?


----------



## Buffie (Mar 23, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ...has me renewing the sub-thread on Astronomy and Physics...I just loooooove them sub-threads! They give me a chance to philosophize right out loud, every oncet in a blue moon! :bow:



Does this mean you have just mooned me?


----------



## Buffie (Mar 23, 2007)

porkchop said:


> Ummmm...Buff? What does Porkchopover entail???? I am a touch worried here.....lol.....explain more fully....pretty please...lol



PorkChoppie girlie! It's like Passover, except different. Porkchopover doesn't have a religious meaning. It's more just an excuse to party.


----------



## Obesus (Mar 24, 2007)

Ohmigosh...there has, indeed been mooning and I am be-moaning my mooning activities, although there was an aspect of Buffiesque moon-goddessing as well as moonism per se involved in the mooning activity. I think the best thing I can do now, as designated thread Fat Tantric Holy Man is to do the traditional "Pointing to the Moon" that them Zen fat holy men love to do, mostly so that folks can admire their pointy fingers! Uhhhhhhhh.....it is such a long story! Have I gotten myself into sufficient trouble to warrant a stern spanking yet? I think I have devolved into lunar lunacy!:bow: :batting: 



Buffie said:


> Does this mean you have just mooned me?


----------



## Obesus (Mar 24, 2007)

Porkchop's house, Buffie's house or the castle/manse/laboratory complex of Master Fatlane??????????? I will bring the coffee n' tater tots! I think I have some Disco-techno-superbeat musica and I can teach folks how to do the Japanese Para-Para dance! Whoopeeeeee!  



Buffie said:


> PorkChoppie girlie! It's like Passover, except different. Porkchopover doesn't have a religious meaning. It's more just an excuse to party.


----------



## Buffie (Mar 24, 2007)

Obesus said:


> Ohmigosh...there has, indeed been mooning and I am be-moaning my mooning activities, although there was an aspect of Buffiesque moon-goddessing as well as moonism per se involved in the mooning activity. I think the best thing I can do now, as designated thread Fat Tantric Holy Man is to do the traditional "Pointing to the Moon" that them Zen fat holy men love to do, mostly so that folks can admire their pointy fingers! Uhhhhhhhh.....it is such a long story! Have I gotten myself into sufficient trouble to warrant a stern spanking yet? I think I have devolved into lunar lunacy!:bow: :batting:



Why do they point at the moon? Is that akin to howling at the moon? I think Ozzy barks at the moon... at least he says he does. 

Spongmonkeys like the moon. They sing about it, too. http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/ 

View attachment spongmonkey1.gif


----------



## porkchop (Mar 25, 2007)

I am all for parties miss Buffie!!! And somewhat relieved that I am not being sacrificed in anyway! I say bring it on here at my place.....I will supply the M & M's ofcourse...lol


----------



## Timberwolf (Mar 27, 2007)

Are ghosts allowed at this party?


----------



## FreeThinker (Mar 27, 2007)

Timberwolf said:


> Are ghosts allowed at this party?



No spirits after hours...sorry.


----------



## Timberwolf (Mar 27, 2007)

Well, could someone resurrect me, please?


----------



## Obesus (Mar 27, 2007)

....at your service, sir! This won't hurt a bit.....just a few essential salts...then, muahahahaha!  



Timberwolf said:


> Well, could someone resurrect me, please?


----------



## Timberwolf (Mar 27, 2007)

Er... uhm... would you mind my rethinking my request?


----------



## Obesus (Mar 27, 2007)

Understandable....although we do have the atomic reactor core option too! Just as long as you don't mind being a bit glow-in-the-dark for a few years!



Timberwolf said:


> Er... uhm... would you mind my rethinking my request?


----------



## Obesus (Mar 27, 2007)

You lead a fascinating life of danger, intruigue and good and evil ninja-kittens! 
Here is the moon pointing story...Ho-Tei, the fat zen monk, is sitting there enjoying the moon-rays, when a tourist from Yokohama comes over and asks him where the Moon is. Ho-Tei smiles and points up at the sky. The tourist just stares as Ho-Tei's finger and says..."what a lovely finger you have!" Ho-Tei realizes that the tourist has attention deficeit disorder and just goes on enjoying the moon rays! :bow: 



Buffie said:


> Why do they point at the moon? Is that akin to howling at the moon? I think Ozzy barks at the moon... at least he says he does.
> 
> Spongmonkeys like the moon. They sing about it, too. http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/


----------



## Timberwolf (Mar 27, 2007)

Obesus said:


> Understandable....although we do have the atomic reactor core option too! Just as long as you don't mind being a bit glow-in-the-dark for a few years!


Well... to be honest, I think I'll stick to the classic resurrection methods...


----------



## Obesus (Mar 27, 2007)

You mean......Peanut butter and Jelly on toast? OK, be that way! :huh: 



Timberwolf said:


> Well... to be honest, I think I'll stick to the classic resurrection methods...


----------



## Obesus (Mar 31, 2007)

This thing needs some perkin' fer sure! I am thinking maybe a big ol' shot of cartoon surrealism, Tex Avery style!


----------



## Obesus (Mar 31, 2007)

That just makes me sooooooooo happy!  



Obesus said:


> This thing needs some perkin' fer sure! I am thinking maybe a big ol' shot of cartoon surrealism, Tex Avery style!


----------



## porkchop (Mar 31, 2007)

Obesus said:


> You mean......Peanut butter and Jelly on toast? OK, be that way! :huh:


absolutely nothing wrong with peanut butter and jam on toast! But I can go one better for you....peanut butter and banana....now THAT is a ressurection!!!:smitten:


----------



## Obesus (Apr 1, 2007)

:eat2: In it's fried version, wasn't that Elvis' all time favorite snackie? In honor of both you, Miss Porkchop, and the King, I am going to have me one o' them bad boys, right now! Yummers!



porkchop said:


> absolutely nothing wrong with peanut butter and jam on toast! But I can go one better for you....peanut butter and banana....now THAT is a resurrection!!!:smitten:


----------



## Obesus (Apr 4, 2007)

I am sensing a certain lack of Va-Va-Va-Voom in the thread as of late, so I am resorting to a low and possibly risky trick here,,,I am going to post a photo of some FOOD in the beleagured hopes that it will pull our Ms. Buffie and Porkchop and the Master back into a posting frenzy! Hope, does spring eternal, after all....so here, is a photo of FOOD!


----------



## FreeThinker (Apr 4, 2007)




----------



## Timberwolf (Apr 4, 2007)

No, thanx, just finished breakfast. :bow:


----------



## fatlane (Apr 4, 2007)

Wow, you won't believe what just happened to me.


----------



## fatlane (Apr 4, 2007)

Oh yeah, musical guest today is Grong Grong!

http://cousincreep.com/antipodeanunderground/?p=30 <- has a neato MP3 download for you Alternative Tentacles fans!


----------



## porkchop (Apr 4, 2007)

Silly ones! I am here...no need to post food....I am always around but just sometimes silent! :blush: Please forgive! You know I love you all...even when I am a little invisible!


----------



## fatlane (Apr 4, 2007)

You? Little?

You big kidder, you!


----------



## porkchop (Apr 4, 2007)

Was that a FAT joke?????:doh:


----------



## Timberwolf (Apr 4, 2007)

If you ask me this was one of the thinnest jokes I've ever heard...


----------



## fatlane (Apr 4, 2007)

Well, I didn't want to steal from John Pinette's material.

By the way, fatfans, GET JOHN PINETTE'S "I'M STARVING" DVD. OH MY GOSH IT IS SO DAMN FUNNY.

It also has about double the material from the Comedy Central version of the show. GET IT GET IT GET IT GET IT GET IT! For an encore, John does his infamous "Chinese Buffet" bit. He's at the top of his form on this DVD. GET IT NOW!


----------



## porkchop (Apr 5, 2007)

BAD Fatlane....very BAD!


----------



## porkchop (Apr 5, 2007)

But I will let you make it up to me...send the Easter Bunny around twice.....with the appropriate chocolate ofcourse!:wubu:


----------



## fatlane (Apr 5, 2007)

Easterbunnysignal is up and we're waiting for his call to coordinate the drop-off!


----------



## Obesus (Apr 6, 2007)

The Easter Bunny is just a' waitin' to coordinate da whole ting wit youse!


----------



## fatlane (Apr 6, 2007)

Got the Oester stone, as well! Gonna have a GOOD time this year!


----------



## Obesus (Apr 8, 2007)

As a major influence upon nascent Xtianity, we reflect this morning on the Persian religion of Mithras with its' symbolism of the risen and reborn Sun! Then, Google gives us this! Cosmic, dude....that photo is entitled "Mithras n' me."



fatlane said:


> Got the Oester stone, as well! Gonna have a GOOD time this year!


----------



## Jane (Apr 8, 2007)

Obesus said:


> As a major influence upon nascent Xtianity, we reflect this morning on the Persian religion of Mithras with its' symbolism of the risen and reborn Sun! Then, Google gives us this! Cosmic, dude....that photo is entitled "Mithras n' me."



Remarkably un-Persian looking women there, Obie!!!!


----------



## Obesus (Apr 8, 2007)

One has to admit that the little animal ears transcend the spacetime continuum like a cool-gone breeze! (Apologies to Chuck Berry there...)
I am thinking that we might needs to extend the empire of Mithras a bit more towards the direction of the rising Sun to include these lovely warrior-esses, but they do rock! :bow: 



Jane said:


> Remarkably un-Persian looking women there, Obie!!!!


----------



## porkchop (Apr 8, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Easterbunnysignal is up and we're waiting for his call to coordinate the drop-off!



I'mmmmmmm stillllllllll waitinggggggggggggggg!:eat2:


----------



## Obesus (Apr 9, 2007)

Lemme sit down with you here and let you know a few things about Master Fatlane.  He is the salt of the Earth, a friend to the downtrodden and a swell guy, but, he is also a MAN OF MYSTERY! He lives a life of daring international crime-fighting and is a fierce opponent of conspiracy and enemy infernal machines! He abhors violence, so usually confronts his enemies with piercingly witty Zen Koans and other riddles to befuddle and cloud their minds. Yes, Master Fatlane is actually none other than.....Kent Allard aka...the SHADOW! Muahahahah! Hence, you might be waiting awhile for your chocolate bunny goodies to arrive from his supply planes. Ahem. 



porkchop said:


> I'mmmmmmm stillllllllll waitinggggggggggggggg!:eat2:


----------



## Buffie (Apr 9, 2007)

Do you guys know if there's a Klingon translation for "boobs"?


----------



## porkchop (Apr 9, 2007)

Obesus said:


> Lemme sit down with you here and let you know a few things about Master Fatlane. He is the salt of the Earth, a friend to the downtrodden and a swell guy, but, he is also a MAN OF MYSTERY! He lives a life of daring international crime-fighting and is a fierce opponent of conspiracy and enemy infernal machines! He abhors violence, so usually confronts his enemies with piercingly witty Zen Koans and other riddles to befuddle and cloud their minds. Yes, Master Fatlane is actually none other than.....Kent Allard aka...the SHADOW! Muahahahah! Hence, you might be waiting awhile for your chocolate bunny goodies to arrive from his supply planes. Ahem.



Do you guys know that I am NOT a good "waiter"?


----------



## Buffie (Apr 10, 2007)

porkchop said:


> Do you guys know that I am NOT a good "waiter"?



But are you a good "wader"? How about a doggie paddler? Back stroker?


----------



## Obesus (Apr 10, 2007)

ngech (n) valley[, woman's cleavage] [confirmed at qep'a' wejDIch by Okrand]
The valley-like metaphor works par-tic-u-larly well in your case!

Then there is also: Tkuqrr, a Klingon word, meaning "not getting any." which works well for the Rev here... 



Buffie said:


> Do you guys know if there's a Klingon translation for "boobs"?


----------



## Buffie (Apr 10, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ngech (n) valley[, woman's cleavage] [confirmed at qep'a' wejDIch by Okrand]
> The valley-like metaphor works par-tic-u-larly well in your case!
> 
> Then there is also: Tkuqrr, a Klingon word, meaning "not getting any." which works well for the Rev here...



I *knew* it! I knew there was something. I tried every Klingon translator on the net and got bupkis. But I just had a feeling you or FatLane would know. 
Thanks, OB!

~Smooooch~


----------



## porkchop (Apr 10, 2007)

Buffie said:


> But are you a good "wader"? How about a doggie paddler? Back stroker?



hahahahahahahahah!
you slay me Buffster!
Yes I am a good wader...doggie paddler...back stroker....breast stroke too!!


----------



## Obesus (Apr 10, 2007)

Methinks we must needs us a pool party! Eh? Now, I am NOT going to create an international incident over the "breast stroke" bit, but it does create no small visual in my mind.  



porkchop said:


> hahahahahahahahah!
> you slay me Buffster!
> Yes I am a good wader...doggie paddler...back stroker....breast stroke too!!


----------



## Buffie (Apr 11, 2007)

porkchop said:


> hahahahahahahahah!
> you slay me Buffster!
> Yes I am a good wader...doggie paddler...back stroker....breast stroke too!!



~snort~

Porkchop said "breast"!!! 

Hee hee hee!!!


----------



## FreeThinker (Apr 11, 2007)

Buffie said:


> ~snort~
> 
> Porkchop said "breast"!!!
> 
> Hee hee hee!!!



And remember, when you say "breast", you've said a _mouthful!_


----------



## Buffie (Apr 11, 2007)

FreeThinker said:


> And remember, when you say "breast", you've said a _mouthful!_



Hee hee hee! Mouthfull. Whose mouth?   :happy:


----------



## Timberwolf (Apr 11, 2007)

Oh, well...

You are not alone, Obe-Wan, you are not alone... *sigh*


----------



## fatlane (Apr 11, 2007)

I was sick the last two days. That's all anyone here needs to know. So if anyone shows up and asks where I was yesterday or the day before, you just say I was sick. Like that. "He was sick." Don't elaborate. Just those three words. Repeat them like a broken record or a looped techno sample if you have to.

Thanks. You guys are the best.


----------



## Obesus (Apr 11, 2007)

...of ze doktor's notes, eh? Wink-Wink!  



fatlane said:


> I was sick the last two days. That's all anyone here needs to know. So if anyone shows up and asks where I was yesterday or the day before, you just say I was sick. Like that. "He was sick." Don't elaborate. Just those three words. Repeat them like a broken record or a looped techno sample if you have to.
> 
> Thanks. You guys are the best.


----------



## Obesus (Apr 11, 2007)

We are sharing a moment here....the innocence, the wide-eyed wonder, the abandon and joie d' vrie....ah, that is what life is all about! Uhhhhhhh...what are we talking about, again? Oh.....Miss Porkchop...yes, "sigh" it is...would only that the world were a place where pool parties really existed.... 



Timberwolf said:


> Oh, well...
> 
> You are not alone, Obe-Wan, you are not alone... *sigh*


----------



## Timberwolf (Apr 11, 2007)

fatlane said:


> I was sick the last two days. That's all anyone here needs to know. So if anyone shows up and asks where I was yesterday or the day before, you just say I was sick. Like that. "He was sick." Don't elaborate. Just those three words. Repeat them like a broken record or a looped techno sample if you have to.
> 
> Thanks. You guys are the best.


So he was sick...
Poor guy. It's not nice to be sick...


----------



## fatlane (Apr 11, 2007)

Doctor Detroit Rock City...


----------



## Jane (Apr 11, 2007)

He's sick, I tell you. Sick, sick, sick.


----------



## Obesus (Apr 11, 2007)

That Fatlane was most likely sick. That would explain his two-day absence rather handily, eh? Probably a freak accident..I can picture the poor chap covered head to toe in bandages......"shiver" :bow:


----------



## Wayne_Zitkus (Apr 11, 2007)

(I've been thinking of posting the following to this thread for months now....)

Buffie, Fatlane, and Friends - oh, MY! 
Buffie, Fatlane, and Friends - oh, MY!


----------



## fatlane (Apr 11, 2007)

Just can't shake the Motor City Madness that obesus started... The Amboy Dukes are next...


----------



## Obesus (Apr 11, 2007)

I do believe that you have perfectly captured the essential phantasia and down-home surrealism that marks this thread! Fits perfectly! Muchas Gracias!:bow: 



Wayne_Zitkus said:


> (I've been thinking of posting the following to this thread for months now....)
> 
> Buffie, Fatlane, and Friends - oh, MY!
> Buffie, Fatlane, and Friends - oh, MY!


----------



## Obesus (Apr 11, 2007)

Yes....I see what you mean!

http://home.att.net/~s.m.geer/bands.htm

then there is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtsovfxfDZs



fatlane said:


> Just can't shake the Motor City Madness that obesus started... The Amboy Dukes are next...


----------



## fatlane (Apr 12, 2007)

Jawsome linx, O-Dad... I did not know, for instance...






had a Dee-troit connection.


----------



## Obesus (Apr 12, 2007)

That there was a lot of Cal-i-forny Dee-troit cross-pollination! Bands were probably booked by the same agency for a whole scad-o-cities, but them two were probable top o' the list! Yup, dadgummit! 





fatlane said:


> Jawsome linx, O-Dad... I did not know, for instance...
> 
> had a Dee-troit connection.


----------



## FreeThinker (Apr 13, 2007)

Don't forget this one-time _D_-troit resident...


----------



## fatlane (Apr 13, 2007)

You mean _this_ Mr. John Lee Hooker?


----------



## porkchop (Apr 13, 2007)

A girl can't say the word breast? What's wrong with breast? No one wants me to say the word breast?  BREAST BREAST BREAST BREAST BREAST BREAST BREAST!!!!! 

Oh yeah...and Fatlane was SICK SICK SICK SICK! :batting: 

Not that I am saying that Fatlane being sick has anything to do what so ever with my breast........I will leave it at that.....


----------



## Obesus (Apr 13, 2007)

I think we rather enjoyed your use of the "B"-word and a couple of us sighed deep sighs even....measures of regret about the bleakness of our worlds in comparison with such a lovely thing....sigh....there it is again! Still, it is my job as desgnated Board Holy Man to offer you soothing and comforting thoughts, so I append the following imago in the hopes that it may mollify and bring you to that peace of mind that we all seek to attain in our own ways! I give you, the best medication of all...the chemical formula for M&M's! Behold!



porkchop said:


> A girl can't say the word breast? What's wrong with breast? No one wants me to say the word breast?  BREAST BREAST BREAST BREAST BREAST BREAST BREAST!!!!!
> 
> Oh yeah...and Fatlane was SICK SICK SICK SICK! :batting:
> 
> Not that I am saying that Fatlane being sick has anything to do what so ever with my breast........I will leave it at that.....


----------



## fatlane (Apr 13, 2007)

Here's a pair of glorious breasts!


----------



## Jane (Apr 13, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Here's a pair of glorious breasts!



And, to parphrase Roseanne, "They're nice and long like mine."


----------



## Obesus (Apr 14, 2007)

That one just doesn't know what the heck to say....so, instead of saying anything at all, I am going to post a piccy of......The Honeymooners! Aha!
Surrealism always trumps the non-sequitur moments in life!  



Jane said:


> And, to parphrase Roseanne, "They're nice and long like mine."


----------



## fatlane (Apr 14, 2007)

We'll just stroll on, then.


----------



## Obesus (Apr 14, 2007)

Took me close to almost 15 seconds to figure out that was David Hemmings from a little movie called "Blow-Up"....gotta' get me a DVD o' that...critical movie there...muchas gracias for the reminder-amento! Antonioni-a-roni too!
Did I mention that an old friend gave me the boxed Werner Herzog/Klaus Kinski set? Who's gonna' bring the popcorn? Maybe we could fly Porkchop and Buffie in from the netherworlds over there where they are at!



fatlane said:


> We'll just stroll on, then.


----------



## fatlane (Apr 14, 2007)

Great DVD... found it used one day at the old used media store... in there with the used media...






Cool Britannia, my friends, cool Britannia...


----------



## Obesus (Apr 14, 2007)

Whoa....the Y-Birds with Jimmy...yes, it was Oct 23rd, 1966 and I saw that legendary show of the Yardbirds with both Jeff Beck and Jimmy Page here at the Fillmore West, although truth be told, it was entirely Jeff's show..Jimmy was mucking about, but didn't really try to steal the stage. Probably a wise move, since this was during the phase when the final album was having less than stellar success...some interesting sound experiments though! Kewl-dude you art, eh! Jimmy's big deal that night was the pair of goggles he had on...at one point in the show he said...."They're psych-e-delic goggles, man!" That went over with a thud! Memories! Oh...and after the show, I was standing outside waiting for my ride, when the Yardbirds came pouring out the front door and loaded into Bill Graham's old black car to go back to the hotel...Jeff was surprisingly short! Who knew?



fatlane said:


> Great DVD... found it used one day at the old used media store... in there with the used media...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## porkchop (Apr 16, 2007)

Obesus said:


> I think we rather enjoyed your use of the "B"-word and a couple of us sighed deep sighs even....measures of regret about the bleakness of our worlds in comparison with such a lovely thing....sigh....there it is again! Still, it is my job as desgnated Board Holy Man to offer you soothing and comforting thoughts, so I append the following imago in the hopes that it may mollify and bring you to that peace of mind that we all seek to attain in our own ways! I give you, the best medication of all...the chemical formula for M&M's! Behold!



Finally!!! It is mine!!!! I knew you would come thru for me Obiwan....From the bottom of my bottom I thank ye!!!!!!:bow:


----------



## Wayne_Zitkus (Apr 16, 2007)

Jane said:


> And, to parphrase Roseanne, "They're nice and long like mine."


Like the old joke about all the retired people living in Florida:

Q - What's the most popular bra size in Fort Lauderdale?

A - 36 Long.


----------



## Timberwolf (Apr 16, 2007)

porkchop said:


> Finally!!! It is mine!!!! I knew you would come thru for me Obiwan....From the bottom of my bottom I thank ye!!!!!!:bow:


That's quite deep thankfulness...


----------



## fatlane (Apr 16, 2007)

Obesus said:


> Whoa....the Y-Birds with Jimmy...yes, it was Oct 23rd, 1966 and I saw that legendary show of the Yardbirds with both Jeff Beck and Jimmy Page here at the Fillmore West, although truth be told, it was entirely Jeff's show..Jimmy was mucking about, but didn't really try to steal the stage. Probably a wise move, since this was during the phase when the final album was having less than stellar success...some interesting sound experiments though! Kewl-dude you art, eh! Jimmy's big deal that night was the pair of goggles he had on...at one point in the show he said...."They're psych-e-delic goggles, man!" That went over with a thud! Memories! Oh...and after the show, I was standing outside waiting for my ride, when the Yardbirds came pouring out the front door and loaded into Bill Graham's old black car to go back to the hotel...Jeff was surprisingly short! Who knew?



Then came the New Yardbirds, although they changed their name for some reason... something about the occult Mr. Page having a discussion with the Moon or something of that nature...


----------



## Buffie (Apr 17, 2007)

Wayne_Zitkus said:


> Like the old joke about all the retired people living in Florida:
> 
> Q - What's the most popular bra size in Fort Lauderdale?
> 
> A - 36 Long.



Oh Wayne! So wrong. You've been hanging around with Fatlane and OB or something and it shows. ...We just expected better from you. tsk tsk tsk


----------



## fatlane (Apr 17, 2007)

I vote for "or something." I wouldn't stoop to such humor, not when I could reach for soemthing on a much higher plane.


----------



## porkchop (Apr 17, 2007)

Timberwolf said:


> That's quite deep thankfulness...



Cheeky!!! Very Cheeky!!!


----------



## fatlane (Apr 17, 2007)




----------



## Obesus (Apr 20, 2007)

Sometimes you make it challenging to follow an act like that, so I spend days wringing my hands and pondering and eating cakes and worrying about what to post and eating cakes and sitting in the rain and such....and this is one of those times that I just have to think outside the box....cheeky monkey...OK then! Behold! AHA! BEHOLD! THE CHEEKY MONKEY DANCERS!!!!!! AHA AHA AHA! BEHOLD! Ahem. Thank you, for your kind attention to this matter!


----------



## fatlane (Apr 20, 2007)

Which reminds me, later on in the show, we're going to present Oscar Wilde's adaptation of Flaubert's historical epic, SALAMMBO, so stay tuned, kiddos!


----------



## Obesus (Apr 20, 2007)

Puppies! Heck with Slammbo or whatever....puppies!  



fatlane said:


> Which reminds me, later on in the show, we're going to present Oscar Wilde's adaptation of Flaubert's historical epic, SALAMMBO, so stay tuned, kiddos!


----------



## fatlane (Apr 20, 2007)

How did we go from blood-drenched Carthaginian epic to puppies, that's what I want to know.

WHERE IS THAT PRODUCER!


----------



## Jane (Apr 20, 2007)

fatlane said:


> How did we go from blood-drenched Carthaginian epic to puppies, that's what I want to know.
> 
> WHERE IS THAT PRODUCER!



But DAMN those are some CUTE PUPPIES!!!!!! Cute puppies on a mission.


----------



## Timberwolf (Apr 20, 2007)

I guess they have the license to lick...


----------



## fatlane (Apr 20, 2007)

Dangit. And I was getting all wound up to launch off "Flaubert Week" on the show.

Well, for those interested few out there, here's the pertinent link to the pertinent text:

http://www.gutenberg.org/files/1290/1290-h/1290-h.htm

Highly recommended reading if you like your French Decadents the way I do... in English...


----------



## Obesus (Apr 21, 2007)

Well, French literary decadence' it is you want eh? I'll see your dang Flaubert and raise ya' an Octave Mirbeau! Hummmmmmph!  



fatlane said:


> Dangit. And I was getting all wound up to launch off "Flaubert Week" on the show.
> 
> Well, for those interested few out there, here's the pertinent link to the pertinent text:
> 
> ...


----------



## Buffie (Apr 21, 2007)

Fatlane, I'm still just a little bit miffed at you for the Steely Dan thread. Just FYI. 

~grins~

Why are you standing in your spangled leather poncho and your elevator shoes?
Bodacious cowboys such as you, friend, will never be welcome here high in the Dim-dome.


----------



## Timberwolf (Apr 21, 2007)

Is that a spider on your back?


----------



## fatlane (Apr 21, 2007)

No, it's a monkey on my back.

OK, for you, Buffie... what sort of other thread do you want to have me launch? JUST FOR YOU REMEMBER!!!


----------



## fatlane (Apr 21, 2007)

OK, Buffie... how's this as a peace offering? 

View attachment smbw063.jpg


----------



## Buffie (Apr 22, 2007)

Timberwolf said:


> Is that a spider on your back?



:shocked: :shocked: :shocked: :blink: 

Hissy cow #2 over new car...

Got in tonight, had top off all day (the car's top!) and there are WEBS across the top!!! ICK yuckyuckyuckyuckyuck

-shudder-


----------



## Buffie (Apr 22, 2007)

fatlane said:


> No, it's a monkey on my back.
> 
> OK, for you, Buffie... what sort of other thread do you want to have me launch? JUST FOR YOU REMEMBER!!!



Uhmmmm. Hmmm. Thinking. Still thinking. Hmmmmmm. I dunno. What do you want to talk about? 

That's possibly the most dangerous question I've ever asked someone.


----------



## Buffie (Apr 22, 2007)

fatlane said:


> OK, Buffie... how's this as a peace offering?



You're so awesome. For the serious.

Did you know I have a folder on my puter called FL Pix and I keep all the kickass drawerings you send me. 

Today I dub thee Mister Radness Arteest of Chunky Monkey-ettes and Bewebs.

Thank you! From the bottom of me heart. :wubu:


----------



## Jane (Apr 22, 2007)

Buffie said:


> You're so awesome. For the serious.
> 
> Did you know I have a folder on my puter called FL Pix and I keep all the kickass drawerings you send me.
> 
> ...



He is better than a kick in the pants (most of the time) isn't he.


----------



## Obesus (Apr 22, 2007)

The World holds its' breath while we await that moment of destiny when you step up to the microphone, take that awesome '62 Fender Strat in your capable hands and give us the answer to Buffie's question! 



Buffie said:


> Uhmmmm. Hmmm. Thinking. Still thinking. Hmmmmmm. I dunno. What do you want to talk about?
> 
> That's possibly the most dangerous question I've ever asked someone.


----------



## fatlane (Apr 23, 2007)

Dude. That's _desacrotic._ And I just made up that word, so its meaning is quite flexible at the moment.

Speaking of flexible, anyone here want to show off for the camera?


----------



## Obesus (Apr 24, 2007)

...and here I thought I was being perfectly plantismal. I apologize for my deioticoerobotic behavioristics in the magnetowireoptical fields! As I know, you are always fond of the old saying: "Two routes are known: *Plantismal* (5.8/9) on the southeast face (facing Disaster Dome) and Bring Your Own Wheelbarrow (10a) a fractured offwidth crack on the northeast face."




fatlane said:


> Dude. That's _desacrotic._ And I just made up that word, so its meaning is quite flexible at the moment.
> 
> Speaking of flexible, anyone here want to show off for the camera?


----------



## fatlane (Apr 24, 2007)

So long as the resonance of the crystals in the cablebox have been properly calculated PRIOR to testing with the electron gun, I don't see any problem with the plan of action you've laid out.


----------



## Obesus (Apr 24, 2007)

...as always, I humbly follow in the shadow of your wisdom! :bow: Uhhhh...errr....wasn't that supposed to be "shining light" of your wisdom? uhhhhh, whatever..OK, I will take the lab wheelbarrow up over Disaster Dome in order to find the next topic for our beloved thread! If my suspicions are correct, though, it will involve none other than our own dear Miss Buffie and the all encompassing and all pervasive influence upon her life of DEVO!!!!! AHA!  Thought you had me buffaloed there, eh? Ach! Back to subservient mode! Ahem. :bow: Praise Bob and pass the Habafropazipulops in that pipe over there, son!



fatlane said:


> So long as the resonance of the crystals in the cablebox have been properly calculated PRIOR to testing with the electron gun, I don't see any problem with the plan of action you've laid out.


----------



## fatlane (Apr 24, 2007)

Taking the first hit on a google image search for "Buffie", we find...






Wow. That's a Buffie I never ever expected to see.


----------



## Obesus (Apr 24, 2007)

I found my DEVO dollies eight pages in on the "Buffie-Lunch" search. I do believe me that Google hath become the new means of prognostication, so boot it true! BEHOLD! The Buffie-BUDDHA, according to GOOGLE! Methinks we have discovered the true WAY to a popular Surrealism with a capital "S"! Zounds!  



fatlane said:


> Taking the first hit on a google image search for "Buffie", we find...Wow. That's a Buffie I never ever expected to see.



It's the oddest thing, if I GOOGLE the word "Buffiesque", it leads me full circle here to this very thread and one of my own very posts...is that COSMIC, or what?


----------



## Buffie (Apr 25, 2007)

Jane said:


> He is better than a kick in the pants (most of the time) isn't he.



You don't lie Jane!


----------



## Buffie (Apr 25, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Dude. That's _desacrotic._ And I just made up that word, so its meaning is quite flexible at the moment.
> 
> Speaking of flexible, anyone here want to show off for the camera?



I can bend the first joints of my fingers independently... like knuckles. Cool, huh?

:happy:


----------



## Buffie (Apr 25, 2007)

Obesus said:


> I found my DEVO dollies eight pages in on the "Buffie-Lunch" search. I do believe me that Google hath become the new means of prognostication, so boot it true! BEHOLD! The Buffie-BUDDHA, according to GOOGLE! Methinks we have discovered the true WAY to a popular Surrealism with a capital "S"! Zounds!
> 
> 
> 
> It's the oddest thing, if I GOOGLE the word "Buffiesque", it leads me full circle here to this very thread and one of my own very posts...is that COSMIC, or what?



Oh yeah? Then what's the most Obesusesque thing you've Googled?


----------



## fatlane (Apr 25, 2007)

Chuckwalla (Sauromalus obesus)

Order: Squamata
Family: Iguanidae (iguanid lizards)
Spanish name: iguana
Distinguishing Features

The chuckwalla is a large, bulky lizard reaching nearly 16 inches (40 cm) with folds of loose skin on the sides of its body. The color varies between sexes and with the age of the individual. Adult males have black heads and forelimbs; their trunks may be black, red, orange, gray, or yellow. Females and juveniles may have gray or yellow banding.

On the inside of the male’s thigh are well-developed femoral pores, which are small openings that allow secretions to be exuded. These secretions are thought to be a way of marking areas.
Range

A resident of southwestern deserts in the United States and Mexico, the chuckwalla is found in southeastern California, southern Nevada, southwestern Utah, western Arizona, eastern Baja California, and northwestern Mexico.
Habitat

Strictly a rock dweller, the chuckwalla is found in rocky outcrops, lava flows, and rocky hillsides of the Great Basin, Mohave and Sonoran deserts.
Life history

This herbivorous lizard emerges from hibernation in mid to late February, although it may be seen in rock crevices close to the surface on any warm winter day. During the active season, it emerges in the early morning to bask in the sun. It is active in temperatures as high as 102ºF (39ºC). When disturbed it seeks shelter in rock crevices and gulps air, wedging itself in a crack, thus making it extremely difficult for predators to extract it. During summer an average of 6 eggs are laid; hatchlings emerge in late September. The chuckwalla feeds mainly on annuals, but also eats perennials; it will consume insects on occasion.
Comments

If food resources are abundant, large male chuckwallas become territorial during certain parts of the year. Below the “tyrant”male, the other males will set up a dominance hierarchy based on size. When food is scarce, no territoriality is exhibited and some males form a hierarchy centered around food resources rather than the size of the animal. Often in these lean times, reproduction will not occur.


----------



## Obesus (Apr 26, 2007)

....the Google response to: "Obesus esque" AHA!  


Buffie said:


> Oh yeah? Then what's the most Obesusesque thing you've Googled?


----------



## Buffie (Apr 26, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Chuckwalla (Sauromalus obesus)
> 
> Order: Squamata
> Family: Iguanidae (iguanid lizards)
> ...



Awww! He's so cute! I want one. Can I get one in pink? Do you think he would try to eat my cats?


----------



## Buffie (Apr 26, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ....the Google response to: "Obesus esque" AHA!



Normally I loathe foul tempered poop-machine birds like ducks and geese, but that one is SOOOO ADORABLE!!!

His little spiked feathers, how sweet!

I saw a TV show about Daniel Pinkwater the other day and for whatever reason, I thought about you.


----------



## Obesus (Apr 26, 2007)

My friend, Luna Aldeberan, and I are in the midst of writing a Science Fiction book set in San Francisco in the early sixties with all kinds of strange, bizarre and odd bits of surreal humor! Somehow, you just _know_...your feminine intuition is flawless! :bow: 



Buffie said:


> Normally I loathe foul tempered poop-machine birds like ducks and geese, but that one is SOOOO ADORABLE!!!
> 
> His little spiked feathers, how sweet!
> 
> I saw a TV show about Daniel Pinkwater the other day and for whatever reason, I thought about you.


----------



## Buffie (Apr 26, 2007)

Obesus said:


> My friend, Luna Aldeberan, and I are in the midst of writing a Science Fiction book set in San Francisco in the early sixties with all kinds of strange, bizarre and odd bits of surreal humor! Somehow, you just _know_...your feminine intuition is flawless! :bow:



Dude, if that isn't the quintessential definition of cosmic then I don't know what is!


----------



## Timberwolf (Apr 26, 2007)

Well, at least we could call it buffic... or so... :huh:


----------



## Obesus (Apr 26, 2007)

Gotta' ponderously ponder the concept of changing my name over to Chuckwalla from Timmy da Hamsta'....gonna' walk in to the boss' office this morning pound and thump on her desk and loudly demand that she call me Chuckwalla and nothing but Chuckwalla from now on! Good thing she won't be there today!  From the Ponderosa Of The Mind over here in the place where I am at...



fatlane said:


> Chuckwalla (Sauromalus obesus)


----------



## Obesus (Apr 26, 2007)

We have captured a photo of the absolute magnificence of the buffic aura using advanced satellite based Kirilian photography in a staggering new technology borrowed from reverse-engineered alien spacecraft! Or something like that!  
There is also a picture of a bunny cause she is cuteamous!



Timberwolf said:


> Well, at least we could call it buffic... or so... :huh:


----------



## fatlane (Apr 26, 2007)

Obesus said:


> My friend, Luna Aldeberan, and I are in the midst of writing a Science Fiction book set in San Francisco in the early sixties with all kinds of strange, bizarre and odd bits of surreal humor! Somehow, you just _know_...your feminine intuition is flawless! :bow:


_Fat Men From Space?_

I read that title back when I was in the sixth grade. Lovely tale of a boy and his tooth fillings geting radio reception... and the aliens who loved potato pancakes... good times...


----------



## fatlane (Apr 26, 2007)

Obesus said:


> We have captured a photo of the absolute magnificence of the buffic aura using advanced satellite based Kirilian photography in a staggering new technology borrowed from reverse-engineered alien spacecraft! Or something like that!
> There is also a picture of a bunny cause she is cuteamous!








I'll get the chanting started now!


----------



## Jane (Apr 26, 2007)

fatlane said:


> I'll get the chanting started now!



Interesting headdress, FL. I didn't know you were a princess, too.


----------



## fatlane (Apr 26, 2007)

That's a Buffie headdress... or a Buffy one, should one go with the alternative Canadian spelling.


----------



## Obesus (Apr 27, 2007)

BEHOLD! The Buffie-Buffet....in an anechoic chamber...is that a huge chunk of cheese that she has there? Mmmmmmmm, yummers, that piece of cheese sure looks good enough to eat! Buffet away!!  



fatlane said:


> That's a Buffie headdress... or a Buffy one, should one go with the alternative Canadian spelling.


----------



## fatlane (Apr 29, 2007)

This just in... pineapple in Hawaii, tastes just like regular pineapple, but BETTER!

Also, I may have eaten the best cheeseburger of my entire life at the Cheeseburger Waikiki restaurant. Too bad I can't post tastes...


----------



## Buffie (Apr 30, 2007)

So, if y'all got stuck in an elevator together, how long until someone pinches someone else on the butt and everyone thinks Jane did it? 

Just askin.


----------



## Jane (Apr 30, 2007)

Buffie said:


> So, if y'all got stuck in an elevator together, how long until someone pinches someone else on the butt and everyone thinks Jane did it?
> 
> Just askin.



Actually, (cough) it was me.


----------



## Buffie (Apr 30, 2007)

Jane said:


> Actually, (cough) it was me.




:doh: 





I can't BELIEVE I didn't know.


----------



## Timberwolf (May 2, 2007)

Buffie said:


> So, if y'all got stuck in an elevator together, how long until someone pinches someone else on the butt and everyone thinks Jane did it?
> 
> Just askin.





Jane said:


> Actually, (cough) it was me.


Fourteen minutes? I would have guessed about five... :huh:


----------



## fatlane (May 3, 2007)

Buffie said:


> :doh:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



You can tell it's Jane after you get used to her... _style..._


----------



## Jane (May 3, 2007)

fatlane said:


> You can tell it's Jane after you get used to her... _style..._



It's all in the rub.


----------



## porkchop (May 3, 2007)

Well I want to know who farted...????


----------



## Jane (May 3, 2007)

porkchop said:


> Well I want to know who farted...????



Oh, that would be me, too.


----------



## porkchop (May 3, 2007)

Jane said:


> Oh, that would be me, too.



lol...should have known that too!


----------



## Timberwolf (May 3, 2007)

Thank goodnes I wasn't in that fridge, er, elevator...


----------



## fatlane (May 3, 2007)

porkchop said:


> Well I want to know who farted...????



Then again... whoever smelt it...


----------



## porkchop (May 4, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Then again... whoever smelt it...



Who ME?? Never!!!


----------



## fatlane (May 4, 2007)

I'll need character witnesses from your mother, father, and ex-boyfriends before I believe that.


----------



## Timberwolf (May 4, 2007)

Is there any proof that it wasn't _you_, FL?


----------



## porkchop (May 4, 2007)

fatlane said:


> I'll need character witnesses from your mother, father, and ex-boyfriends before I believe that.



Hmmmm that may be a bit difficult.....lol...let me talk to my people and get back to you.....


----------



## fatlane (May 4, 2007)

You talk to your people and I'll have my people stay in touch with yours and Timberwolf's.

I have to squelch the rumors his people be spreadin'.


----------



## porkchop (May 4, 2007)

fatlane said:


> You talk to your people and I'll have my people stay in touch with yours and Timberwolf's.
> 
> I have to squelch the rumors his people be spreadin'.



Rumours have a tendency towards truth...lol
My people may require communing with the spirits...it may take a while


----------



## fatlane (May 5, 2007)

porkchop said:


> Rumours have a tendency towards truth...lol
> My people may require communing with the spirits...it may take a while



If you guys are gonna start communing with the spirits, you better start your individual tabs at the bar. I ain't paying to get a bunch of ingrates all liquored up.

COMING UP NEXT! We'll interview Deborah Voigt about her recent battle with the Royal Opera over her weight. Don't go away. http://www.bigpeople.org.uk/html/opera_singer.html 

View attachment deborahvoight.jpg


----------



## Buffie (May 5, 2007)

Timberwolf said:


> Fourteen minutes? I would have guessed about five... :huh:



I think fourteen minutes shows tremendous restraint on Jane's part. I, for one, am proud of her. She's made so much progress. :happy:


----------



## Jane (May 5, 2007)

Buffie said:


> I think fourteen minutes shows tremendous restraint on Jane's part. I, for one, am proud of her. She's made so much progress. :happy:



Thank you Buffie. You know, "Life is short, better to fill it with memories than anything you have to dust."


----------



## porkchop (May 5, 2007)

Ladies did Fatlane just call us ingrates?????


----------



## fatlane (May 6, 2007)

Yes I did but I think Buffie's buying, so go ahead... LOVE HER AND HATE ME... you know you want to, anyway...

::acts all emo in the corner::


----------



## Timberwolf (May 6, 2007)

Look, an emoticon!


----------



## fatlane (May 8, 2007)

Everybody go to www.zefrank.com and get the "I'm About to Whip Somebody's Ass" song!


----------



## porkchop (May 8, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Yes I did but I think Buffie's buying, so go ahead... LOVE HER AND HATE ME... you know you want to, anyway...
> 
> ::acts all emo in the corner::



oh please!!!!!!!!! Everyone...Fatlane has given us permission to not only drink ...but use Buff's show expense card....YIPPEEEE!!! Oh ...and he also has asked that we ignore him while he has a little snit over there in the corner!!!


----------



## Buffie (May 9, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Yes I did but I think Buffie's buying, so go ahead... LOVE HER AND HATE ME... you know you want to, anyway...
> 
> ::acts all emo in the corner::



Have you been sniffing ink?! 

I am not the buyer, I am the buyee. See how that works? 

YOU have the Y chromosome. That means YOU make the purchases. Porkchippie, Jane and meself, we are holders of the mighty XX in our flawless genetic codes, therefore we cheerfully accept your purchases. 

Now as our Beyonce would say "I bought it" and we have, on frequent occasion, "bought it" for ourselves. However, we are flattered and appreciative when others buy it for us, as it allows us to save our hard earned pennies for things like kitty food and trips to the spa. 

Thank you and you're welcome.


----------



## fatlane (May 9, 2007)

That only works when you do that thing you do. Then I do the thing you just described.

Make that XX WORK, baby!


----------



## Timberwolf (May 9, 2007)

-..- -..- -..-. -..- -.--


----------



## fatlane (May 9, 2007)

That's a nice morse-l of a post, there...


----------



## Timberwolf (May 10, 2007)

And quite useful if your voice is out for a little vacation...


----------



## fatlane (May 10, 2007)

Yes...

but...

MY VOICE IS NOT OUT SO I WILL SHOUT AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS HAHAHAHA CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW VERIZON GUY LOLOLOLOLORRZZZ HAHAHAHA!!!


----------



## Timberwolf (May 11, 2007)

Huh? Did you say something?


----------



## fatlane (May 14, 2007)

yes

















yes, i did


----------



## Timberwolf (May 14, 2007)

You seem to be rather far away from me...
It took quite some time until your words arrived. And they are so faint...

Where are you?


----------



## Obesus (May 15, 2007)

...is in the lab-or-a-tory, concocting his wild inventions and infernal devices to spring upon an unexpecting public! AHA! That would explain why his words seem Dim to you. Ahem.


----------



## Timberwolf (May 15, 2007)

I see... in a blindfolded manner...


----------



## fatlane (May 15, 2007)

AND SOMEBODY BETTER CLEAN UP THIS MESS! 

WHO CRASHED THE STAR CRUISER? WHO? _*WHO?*_


----------



## Jane (May 15, 2007)

fatlane said:


> AND SOMEBODY BETTER CLEAN UP THIS MESS!
> 
> WHO CRASHED THE STAR CRUISER? WHO? _*WHO?*_



Okay, I've fessed up to every other damn thing. I ain't taking the fall for this one. Nope.


----------



## porkchop (May 15, 2007)

Ohh...uummmm...ahhhh...I have no idea who did it...
:blink:


----------



## Timberwolf (May 15, 2007)

What would you do if you were stalked by an unknown star cruiser that won't reply? I tried all known frequencies and all konwn ways of greeting...


----------



## swamptoad (May 16, 2007)

Timberwolf said:


> I see... in a blindfolded manner...



eye sea ewe...
dew ewe sea mi ?¿?¿?


----------



## Timberwolf (May 16, 2007)

When squirrels talk...


----------



## porkchop (May 16, 2007)

Did you try offering m & m's? It usually works for me!!!:eat2:


----------



## Timberwolf (May 16, 2007)

Uhm... are you a squirrel?


----------



## porkchop (May 16, 2007)

nope! alot bigger than a squirrel!
Are you a squirrel?


----------



## Timberwolf (May 16, 2007)

Sometimes...


----------



## porkchop (May 16, 2007)

sometimes? Care to elaborate?
you look kinda like a relative of mine...a mean looking relative..but a relative noless!


----------



## fatlane (May 16, 2007)

You knuckleheads are dodging the major issue of our show's STAR CRUISER having been CRASHED on a KUIPER BELT OBJECT which, for the un-astronomical among you, is WAY THE HELL OUT THERE PAST PLUTO and it's gonna be hellaciously expensive to fix it and equally as expensive to bring it back.

And Jane... you're typically a responsible person. Just about everything that's gone wrong around here, you've been responsible. But I believe you this time.

And Obesus was with me at the Miskatonic University Metaphysical Studies Symposium, so that rules him out...

Which leaves...

Hmmmm...

If there were any hull breaches where there were two "m" characters next to each other, I think I might know who's to blame for this one...


----------



## porkchop (May 16, 2007)

oh sorry Fatlane...I was taken away by the image before me of the lushess chocolatey treat...you are right...the important part is the retrieval of the thingy...from whatsitsplace.....ummmmmyeah...nope...no nothing about that!


----------



## Timberwolf (May 16, 2007)

fatlane said:


> You knuckleheads are dodging the major issue of our show's STAR CRUISER having been CRASHED on a KUIPER BELT OBJECT which, for the un-astronomical among you, is WAY THE HELL OUT THERE PAST PLUTO and it's gonna be hellaciously expensive to fix it and equally as expensive to bring it back.
> 
> And Jane... you're typically a responsible person. Just about everything that's gone wrong around here, you've been responsible. But I believe you this time.
> 
> ...


Well, as it may have been me who caused that crash, I'll send my recovery (space)vehicle to get that mess of a star cruiser back to earth. OK?


----------



## fatlane (May 16, 2007)

See that you do.

Folks at home, don't go away, we'll be right back with Dawn French!


----------



## Obesus (May 17, 2007)

Uhhhhhhh...I think I may have accidentally left one of the Buffietrons or Porkchoptrons switched on, and you know how those android thingies are...a little bit, errrrr, uhhhhhhh.....erratic! Yeah, that was it, an erratic android...it was the lab kittens what turned 'em on, yeah, it was them dang kittens again, fer sure! By Jimmeny crickers! :doh: Yeah, maybe some bunnies were involved too..._fierce_ bad bunnies!




fatlane said:


> You knuckleheads are dodging the major issue of our show's STAR CRUISER having been CRASHED on a KUIPER BELT OBJECT which, for the un-astronomical among you, is WAY THE HELL OUT THERE PAST PLUTO and it's gonna be hellaciously expensive to fix it and equally as expensive to bring it back.
> 
> And Jane... you're typically a responsible person. Just about everything that's gone wrong around here, you've been responsible. But I believe you this time.
> 
> ...


----------



## fatlane (May 17, 2007)

Obesus... remove those bunnies to a penal colony on Venus... that should take the hop out of their days...


----------



## Obesus (May 17, 2007)

The _special_ penal colony on Venus with the soft fuzzy carpets and specially delicious carrots....._that_ penal colony...fer sure, asap! Wilco!





fatlane said:


> Obesus... remove those bunnies to a penal colony on Venus... that should take the hop out of their days...


----------



## Jane (May 17, 2007)

porkchop said:


> oh sorry Fatlane...I was taken away by the image before me of the lushess chocolatey treat...you are right...the important part is the retrieval of the thingy...from whatsitsplace.....ummmmmyeah...nope...no nothing about that!



I'm a AAA member, lets give them a call.


----------



## Timberwolf (May 17, 2007)

Your spacecraft is "on the hook", FL, shall I get it to my space station for repairs?


----------



## porkchop (May 17, 2007)

Jane said:


> I'm a AAA member, lets give them a call.



Oh Jane...thank you so much for the offer...you are a true gem!~


----------



## fatlane (May 17, 2007)

THANK YOU JANE!

Well, that's at least a problem that's getting solved.

Now, about all the M&M and taco residue coming from one of the dressing rooms. You ladies know anything about THAT?


----------



## Buffie (May 18, 2007)

But the MOST interesting thing is... When you read this thread in reverse order, it actually M A K E S S E N S E.


~Is afraid. Very afraid.~


----------



## fatlane (May 18, 2007)

OH MY GOSH YOU ARE SO RIGHT

Damn, Buffie, I guess you just won the entire Internet.

Now what?


----------



## Buffie (May 18, 2007)

fatlane said:


> OH MY GOSH YOU ARE SO RIGHT
> 
> Damn, Buffie, I guess you just won the entire Internet.
> 
> Now what?



Won the net? If that's anything like this game my rotten friends call "winnng dinner" then I don't wanna play.

The rules of "Winning Dinner" is that there aren't any rules except that whomever unintentionally says something that makes someone else at the table either guffaw or do a spit-take, then the person who said it gets the "priveledge" of picking up all the empty beverage containers and taking them to the trash. (No, we're not really the fine-dining kind of crowd, are we?)

Sometimes, I think my friends cheat though. I think some lazy bum doesn't want to be called "Winner" so he or she spits or laughs obnoxiously at some non-sequitur thing and then they know THAT person is stuck with the icky little task. 

Oh, one other thing, sometimes it's not just beverage containers. If more than one person names you "Winner", they all pile their rubbish on YOUR tray, then stack their trays under yours and make you clear the whole dang table. Rude!

No rude games here. It's law. Only reindeer games.


----------



## porkchop (May 18, 2007)

Don't worry buff...we won't make you clear anything. You are the STAR! STAR I say! That is what we pay people for. (oh and I'm not doing it either....) 
Now back to the debris coming from the change room......that would most certainly NOT being any taco or m & m debris that would be impossible. There is never any debris left of those items! It must be the tubes that Obesus is running through the washroom and down the walls of our rooms to the basement. Check that out! Now I am worried!


----------



## Timberwolf (May 18, 2007)

Well, here's your as good as new (repaired and improved) space cruiser, fatlane.

Please excuse me, I'll have to go and save the intergalactic easter bunnies...
And the last word, too...

See ya!


----------



## fatlane (May 18, 2007)

Buffie: You seriously need some new friends. Give those guys two weeks' notice, then take out an ad in Greensheet.

Porkchop: that effluent tested positive for candy shells and taco sauce. Try and explain _that_ away.

Timber: Is there a warranty on the repairs?


----------



## Timberwolf (May 18, 2007)

Yes. Five years or 100,000,000 light years.
Exception: Don't mess with the Borg, for this would void warranty.


----------



## fatlane (May 18, 2007)

Noted.













so...

















what's next?


----------



## Buffie (May 19, 2007)

porkchop said:


> Don't worry buff...we won't make you clear anything. You are the STAR! STAR I say! That is what we pay people for. (oh and I'm not doing it either....)
> Now back to the debris coming from the change room......that would most certainly NOT being any taco or m & m debris that would be impossible. There is never any debris left of those items! It must be the tubes that Obesus is running through the washroom and down the walls of our rooms to the basement. Check that out! Now I am worried!



Waitaminit. People are getting -paid- around here? Paid what? Cash?

Because Jane and Fatlane both told me that the only compensation anyone receives is a 3-pack of thong underwear and a free watch battery coupon. 

WHO are you making out with to get paid??? I DEMAND to know. Who else is getting paid around here??? Huh??? What's up with that? What did I ever do to ya'll. I feel like the shafted guy on Survivor. Geez. Why don't you just vote me off the thread or something. 

~HUFF~


----------



## Obesus (May 19, 2007)

The bunnies thank you for your kindness! :bow: 




Timberwolf said:


> Well, here's your as good as new (repaired and improved) space cruiser, fatlane.
> 
> Please excuse me, I'll have to go and save the intergalactic easter bunnies...
> And the last word, too...
> ...


----------



## Obesus (May 19, 2007)

...the Minions, Underlings and Lab Assistant's International local sets strict pay rates based on the 14th Century Kopeck. Unfortunately, the Kopeck was not worth a lot back then, so I make about $12 a week...but it is fascinating, important and _honest_ labor! Uhhhh, at least most of it is fairly honest, here and there. Well, no matter, because the important thing here is that we need to recognize as a group, that Buffie and Porkchop are extreme examples of cuteism, cuteosity, cuteamousness and cutehood! I think that settles the whole matter nicely! Of course, I dare not reveal the secret crushes that I harbor towards them both...that would set up psychodynamics of a profound sort within my beady little mind! AHA! I shall remain silent on the matter and you shall not drag One word out of me! AHA!



Buffie said:


> Waitaminit. People are getting -paid- around here? Paid what? Cash?
> 
> Because Jane and Fatlane both told me that the only compensation anyone receives is a 3-pack of thong underwear and a free watch battery coupon.
> 
> ...


----------



## Buffie (May 19, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ...the Minions, Underlings and Lab Assistant's International local sets strict pay rates based on the 14th Century Kopeck. Unfortunately, the Kopeck was not worth a lot back then, so I make about $12 a week...but it is fascinating, important and _honest_ labor! Uhhhh, at least most of it is fairly honest, here and there. Well, no matter, because the important thing here is that we need to recognize as a group, that Buffie and Porkchop are extreme examples of cuteism, cuteosity, cuteamousness and cutehood! I think that settles the whole matter nicely! Of course, I dare not reveal the secret crushes that I harbor towards them both...that would set up psychodynamics of a profound sort within my beady little mind! AHA! I shall remain silent on the matter and you shall not drag One word out of me! AHA!



:wubu: 

Awww! Did you hear that PorkChippy? OB's crushin on us. :happy:


----------



## Obesus (May 19, 2007)

Why, who could have told you my deepest secrets! The scoundrel shall pay dearly for his indiscretion! Ah, tis' strooth! I do harbor crushes upon our two feminine thread-leaders, being you and Miss Porkchop...sigh, unrequited love doth burden the soul, especially when split in twain and divided by the continent's mighty majesty, but, *AHA*, I am a holy man, so all shall be well! Uhhhhhh...not exactly sure how, but I am sure it will all piece itself together! :batting: 




Buffie said:


> :wubu:
> 
> Awww! Did you hear that PorkChippy? OB's crushin on us. :happy:


----------



## Buffie (May 19, 2007)

Obesus said:


> Why, who could have told you my deepest secrets! The scoundrel shall pay dearly for his indiscretion! Ah, tis' strooth! I do harbor crushes upon our two feminine thread-leaders, being you and Miss Porkchop...sigh, unrequited love doth burden the soul, especially when split in twain and divided by the continent's mighty majesty, but, *AHA*, I am a holy man, so all shall be well! Uhhhhhh...not exactly sure how, but I am sure it will all piece itself together! :batting:



So maybe it's stupid question week in Buffie's world... but...

This SCOUNDREL is getting paid and I'm not??? WTF already! 

Also, I've always wanted to know what precisely earns one the designation of "Holy". Is it like an agent designation, like CLU or CIC or is it like when you become a doctor and get a PHD or MD or whatever? I've always wanted a designation of some sort. Like 'Buffie - Certified Glitter Inspector' . 

What would Timberwolf's designation be? 'Timberwolf - Hungry... Like the Wolf' ? Hmmm...


----------



## Obesus (May 19, 2007)

....they told me, "Son....." Big pause. "You..._are_ a priest!" I was like,"Uhhhhhh...anything else?" Vocational tester was all, like, "Nope. That's it." So, I have some certification on the "Holy" thing right there...that and I look so much like the fat Buddha that little Asian children run over and whack me on the belly alla' time, for good luck! Add to that the horror that I couldn't get a date if it fell on top of me and you have the celibate, magic-practising, pagan-lore nature-priest kind of thingy going on!
Now, on the pay matter, remember that the Master Fatlane is approximately 15.67 years behind on my pay, so I expect a check for a rousing $800 sooner or later...maybe as soon as we land that "special" contract with NASA!  

Also, now, since I run a California Nonprofit Educational Corporation, I can't see any reason why I can't print up a big ol' fancy certificate and make you just about anything you want to be, in the area of glitter or nail polish or blackbody radiation detectress or whatsome-ever! :bow:

I am thinking, "Timberwolf, certified Spatial Pilot, Inertial guidance guy and Faster Than Light Mechanic Dude." Has a nice ring! 



Buffie said:


> So maybe it's stupid question week in Buffie's world... but...
> 
> This SCOUNDREL is getting paid and I'm not??? WTF already!
> 
> ...


----------



## Timberwolf (May 19, 2007)

Well, actually, I was certified as a "Magic Space - Wolf" some years ago, but Obe-Wan's suggestion doesn't sound that bad, either. 
There is a reason for him being a certified holy man...


----------



## Obesus (May 19, 2007)

Or "woofasuses" as we refer to them out here in the Wild West of Frisco-Town! Noble creatures, magical and otherworldly...space-wolves especially! :bow: The Space-Wolf treads the daunting depths of stellar lanes and gaseous weirdly glowing nebulae, searching for the Truth....and performing deeds of Justice...ahhhhhh!




Timberwolf said:


> Well, actually, I was certified as a "Magic Space - Wolf" some years ago, but Obe-Wan's suggestion doesn't sound that bad, either.
> There is a reason for him being a certified holy man...


----------



## fatlane (May 20, 2007)

Obesus is also paid in the form of room and board. I give him room on the set for his stuff and he gets 16 sq. ft. of pressure-treated plywood each month to use _as he sees fit._ That's right, he's also got _some degree of personal freedom._ How many minions can say that? ONE. Obesus. I'm a great employer, even if I'm a tad bit in arrears as regards payroll.

Porkchop gets paid so we can dock her check. She _is_ the M&M budget, so to speak.

And for YOU, Buffie... you're on a profit-sharing plan. When we got profits, you share.

How do we get profits? Well, shake your money makers and _find out._

Work it, girl!


----------



## Obesus (May 20, 2007)

Just how many of these little duckies I can cut out of that plywood! Master also gives me the occasional hunk of knotty pine, which means I can express my PININGS for Buffie and Porkchop! It is also just amazing how well Master can predict these lame jokes out there in the mental ozone...he must be psychic...why....say.....he IS!!!! Speaking of personal freedom, errrr, uhhhh, could I borrow the keys to the submersible tonight...I have a matter to attend to down in the Marianas Trench! 



fatlane said:


> Obesus is also paid in the form of room and board. I give him room on the set for his stuff and he gets 16 sq. ft. of pressure-treated plywood each month to use _as he sees fit._ That's right, he's also got _some degree of personal freedom._ How many minions can say that? ONE. Obesus. I'm a great employer, even if I'm a tad bit in arrears as regards payroll.


----------



## fatlane (May 20, 2007)

So long as you don't interrupt my research, I don't mind what you do with the submersible.

Let me clarify... so long as you don't interrupt my research, incur any damages, or forget to return your library books, I don't mind what you do with the submersible.


----------



## porkchop (May 20, 2007)

Buffie said:


> :wubu:
> 
> Awww! Did you hear that PorkChippy? OB's crushin on us. :happy:



I heard!! I am blushing as we speak! What a sweety he is. Sending warm, chocolatey smooches your wasy oh cute bald one! :wubu:


----------



## porkchop (May 20, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Obesus is also paid in the form of room and board. I give him room on the set for his stuff and he gets 16 sq. ft. of pressure-treated plywood each month to use _as he sees fit._ That's right, he's also got _some degree of personal freedom._ How many minions can say that? ONE. Obesus. I'm a great employer, even if I'm a tad bit in arrears as regards payroll.
> 
> Porkchop gets paid so we can dock her check. She _is_ the M&M budget, so to speak.
> 
> ...




Buffie...I never see a dime...I swear...I think we consume my pay in chocolate and tacos! Now give me some sweet Buffie pouts and let's try and earn some profit! You put on the music and we can shake our money makers together...that ought to get them sending in the big cheques! :batting:


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## fatlane (May 20, 2007)

Or _checks_, when we broadcast in America...


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## Obesus (May 20, 2007)

Were you ever to come to our beloved city of Fog and frammuses, consider yourself invited to a typical beatnik coffeehouse in the Valencia gulch hipster ground-zero area, for an ultra-fine cup o' cappucino, a smorgasboard of M&M's and a reading of some uber-kewl beatnik poety...like, dark green...straight out of the fridge! :wubu: 



porkchop said:


> I heard!! I am blushing as we speak! What a sweety he is. Sending warm, chocolatey smooches your wasy oh cute bald one! :wubu:


----------



## Obesus (May 20, 2007)

Fetch the NEA grant applications and let's see what my all-purpose California nonprofit can do, once I have a business plan like THAT in mind! Wa-hoooooooooey! 



porkchop said:


> Buffie...I never see a dime...I swear...I think we consume my pay in chocolate and tacos! Now give me some sweet Buffie pouts and let's try and earn some profit! You put on the music and we can shake our money makers together...that ought to get them sending in the big cheques! :batting:


----------



## Obesus (May 20, 2007)

That piccy has a kinda' Lovecrafty Azathothy thing going on...way kewl! You da Man! :bow: 



fatlane said:


> So long as you don't interrupt my research, I don't mind what you do with the submersible.
> 
> Let me clarify... so long as you don't interrupt my research, incur any damages, or forget to return your library books, I don't mind what you do with the submersible.


----------



## fatlane (May 21, 2007)

Obesus said:


> That piccy has a kinda' Lovecrafty Azathothy thing going on...way kewl! You da Man! :bow:



Of course I am. Now hand me the BBQ sauce. We're at a very delicate junction in the ritual.


----------



## Jane (May 21, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Of course I am. Now hand me the BBQ sauce. We're at a very delicate junction in the ritual.



Oh, FL, someone purchased BBQ sauce instead of invoking the sacred recipe.


----------



## fatlane (May 21, 2007)

Jane said:


> Oh, FL, someone purchased BBQ sauce instead of invoking the sacred recipe.



That's not good. As in bad. We got a few hours before it gets critical, so get something simmering, NOW.

OK? Just NOW. No need to panic if we get it started NOW.


----------



## Jane (May 21, 2007)

fatlane said:


> That's not good. As in bad. We got a few hours before it gets critical, so get something simmering, NOW.
> 
> OK? Just NOW. No need to panic if we get it started NOW.



Are you kidding? I always keep a supply. Send the team of huskies over to pick it up. It's in the fridge, in the glass jar, so it doesn't eat through. ALL PRECAUTIONS WERE TAKEN.


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## fatlane (May 21, 2007)

Jane said:


> Are you kidding? I always keep a supply. Send the team of huskies over to pick it up. It's in the fridge, in the glass jar, so it doesn't eat through. ALL PRECAUTIONS WERE TAKEN.



Did you use honey, sugar, or brown sugar as a sweetener?


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## Jane (May 21, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Did you use honey, sugar, or brown sugar as a sweetener?



Sugar in equal parts to the vinegar. I'm sorry, you've seen the Recipe of the Sevens, and it CLEARLY calls for sugar.


----------



## porkchop (May 21, 2007)

Obesus said:


> Were you ever to come to our beloved city of Fog and frammuses, consider yourself invited to a typical beatnik coffeehouse in the Valencia gulch hipster ground-zero area, for an ultra-fine cup o' cappucino, a smorgasboard of M&M's and a reading of some uber-kewl beatnik poety...like, dark green...straight out of the fridge! :wubu:



You have a deal! I love lattes.....would it be possible to get one of them?


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## Obesus (May 22, 2007)

....a coffee beverage invented by the Capuchin monks of Italy....is a seriously aesthetic experience, but YES, Miss Porkchop...lattes you may have, indeed! I like the Chai-latte myself...mysterious spices of India! (One likes a little mystery and adventure for coffee, eh?! :eat2: :kiss2: )




porkchop said:


> You have a deal! I love lattes.....would it be possible to get one of them?


----------



## fatlane (May 22, 2007)

Jane said:


> Sugar in equal parts to the vinegar. I'm sorry, you've seen the Recipe of the Sevens, and it CLEARLY calls for sugar.



You have chosen wisely.

The ritual may now continue!


----------



## fatlane (May 22, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ....a coffee beverage invented by the Capuchin monks of Italy....is a seriously aesthetic experience, but YES, Miss Porkchop...lattes you may have, indeed! I like the Chai-latte myself...mysterious spices of India! (One likes a little mystery and adventure for coffee, eh?! :eat2: :kiss2: )



What other brewed beans have you got? Or tree barks? Some _Pausinystalia yohimbe_, perhaps?


----------



## Obesus (May 23, 2007)

....aka Frop....grown by the Yeti-synin in the snows of the Himalayas....like, what else, Dude-Meister?




fatlane said:


> What other brewed beans have you got? Or tree barks? Some _Pausinystalia yohimbe_, perhaps?


----------



## fatlane (May 23, 2007)

Ayahuasca? Did you bring the ayahuasca?


----------



## Obesus (May 24, 2007)

But I brought some nice Ginger-beer! Golly gosh that sounds good right about now...gotta' slosh me down some o' that! :eat2: 

[QUOTE/]=fatlane;447899 Ayahuasca? Did you bring the ayahuasca?[/QUOTE]

Know what else? this is my 1,500th post, but this darn thread has just about as many posts as I have done in my whole careering here! Frammus!


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## fatlane (May 24, 2007)

I'll hava a sasparilly, myself.


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## Jane (May 24, 2007)

Root beer....BAH!!!!!


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## fatlane (May 25, 2007)

Chaara'at'ka. 

View attachment smredword.jpg


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## Obesus (May 25, 2007)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOU9yIgWZQo&mode=related&search=



fatlane said:


> Chaara'at'ka.


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## Timberwolf (May 26, 2007)

Must be pidgeon dutch...


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## Obesus (May 26, 2007)

I strongly resemble that remark! (Goes to Google old Three Stooges reel where Curly-Joe uses that line on Moe!)




Timberwolf said:


> Must be pidgeon dutch...


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## fatlane (May 26, 2007)

Watch all the puns! I don't want to get in dutch with Jane!


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## Timberwolf (May 26, 2007)

Do you prefer to go dutch?


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## Jane (May 26, 2007)

Double Dutch....chocolate.


----------



## fatlane (May 27, 2007)




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## Obesus (May 28, 2007)

You are just too good over there! Sometimes you post the most jaw-dropping piccies and I am left here thinking....what the heck am I going to repond to _that_ with? 

http://www.godmademefunky.com/doubledutchbus.htm

AHA!


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## fatlane (May 28, 2007)




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## porkchop (May 28, 2007)

did someone say fudge?:eat1:


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## fatlane (May 28, 2007)

Only if you want us to.


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## porkchop (May 28, 2007)

My mistake...it was the word "Chocolate"....I in turn translated it to fudge...
But you go ahead....Say it...say the word.....


----------



## FreeThinker (May 28, 2007)




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## Obesus (May 29, 2007)

...verily...I shall say the word again....FUDGE!  Oh, that does sound good...fudge...mmmmmmm. Must needs get me some fudge! Quick, fetch the fudge! :eat1: Oh fudge! I forgot the fudge! Fudgesticks and frammuses!


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## Obesus (May 29, 2007)

....despicable!



fatlane said:


>


----------



## mango (May 29, 2007)

*.. I have that exact Super Fly movie poster framed on my wall.

 *


----------



## porkchop (May 29, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ...verily...I shall say the word again....FUDGE!  Oh, that does sound good...fudge...mmmmmmm. Must needs get me some fudge! Quick, fetch the fudge! :eat1: Oh fudge! I forgot the fudge! Fudgesticks and frammuses!



lol....well kinda what I had in mind! I was more thinking along the lines of warm...dripping...smoothly silky....hot fudge! But beggars can't be choosers...so I will accept any and all fudge!


----------



## Obesus (May 29, 2007)

Nothing like a beautiful Latte coffee beverage and some freshly made warm and delicious fudge.......oooooooooooh...........:eat1: :eat1: :eat1: :eat1: Oh, I gotta' keep this part of the thread going....ahhhhhhhhh:eat2: :eat2: :eat2: 



porkchop said:


> lol....well kinda what I had in mind! I was more thinking along the lines of warm...dripping...smoothly silky....hot fudge! But beggars can't be choosers...so I will accept any and all fudge!


----------



## Timberwolf (May 29, 2007)

So this is fudge, yes?


----------



## Obesus (May 30, 2007)

Yes, this _is_ the fudge of which we speak...rich, buttery, creamy....pure sugar, butter and chocolate, heated into an exquisite, soft, delicious and SINFUL concoction of pure caloric delight. One pictures oneself presenting Miss Porkchop with a large and lovely selection of fudge varietals along with delicious latte, topped in whipped cream and a sprinkling of powdered chocolate....oh my! That is just the thought, eh? 



Timberwolf said:


> So this is fudge, yes?


----------



## Buffie (May 30, 2007)

Gah. I'm such a butt cheese. I let you guys get to another page before I said hey, what's up, how's your day and all that. My sorry bad.

So... hey. What's up? How's your day? 

Tell me about the last time you broke the law! You can use a fake name if you want. I won't nark.


----------



## Obesus (May 30, 2007)

Grand Theft...and whooooo, was it ever grand...I still have $28,000 restitution to go after paying it off for eight years...only a year on house detention and four months in the beautiful San Bruno CJ-7 facility., but I made it to TRUSTEE!!! Wa-hoooey!...My advice, crime don't pay, avoid the Mexican tar heroin and be good little bunnies! Oh, I have heard *much* to-do about the women loving "bad boys"...well, partner, no such thing...not once, has my criminal felony past ever enticed a young lady into any sort of dalliance, nosireebob! I'll vouch on that in a court of law! I do have good luck attracting lesbians half my age for some reason...maybe I need me a good Tarot card reading over here in the dang fog! :bow: Other than that, the day has been grand, Miss Buffie....oh, there is no bad attached to you in any way shape or form...you are, after all, goddess of all delightfulness and MISTRESS of the thread, if you catch my drift! (kneels)



Buffie said:


> Gah. I'm such a butt cheese. I let you guys get to another page before I said hey, what's up, how's your day and all that. My sorry bad.
> 
> So... hey. What's up? How's your day?
> 
> Tell me about the last time you broke the law! You can use a fake name if you want. I won't nark.


----------



## Buffie (May 30, 2007)

Obesus said:


> Grand Theft...and whooooo, was it ever grand...I still have $28,000 restitution to go after paying it off for eight years...only a year on house detention and four months in the beautiful San Bruno CJ-7 facility., but I made it to TRUSTEE!!! Wa-hoooey!...My advice, crime don't pay, avoid the Mexican tar heroin and be good little bunnies! Oh, I have heard *much* to-do about the women loving "bad boys"...well, partner, no such thing...not once, has my criminal felony past ever enticed a young lady into any sort of dalliance, nosireebob! I'll vouch on that in a court of law! I do have good luck attracting lesbians half my age for some reason...maybe I need me a good Tarot card reading over here in the dang fog! :bow:



No effin way! For the serious???
:blink: 

Wow. Ohkay. So let's jot that down under 'Things We Would Never Assume About Obesus'. Wild man. You're probably FULL of tasty little secrets like that, aren't you? I'd bet money on it.


----------



## Obesus (May 30, 2007)

...to have their criminal pasts, for where else do you truly learn to be holy, except in jail! Am I wrong? It is for true and makes for a good reform type inspiring story...oh and that is how I got my current job, managing the administrative details of our mental health programs....I was going through treatment for addiction and started working for the program...the next step is the Master's in Business Admin with emphasis in organizational psychology! :bow: I have discussed all this on the boards, but I guess that was, like waaaay before the new boards or just when they were going up...who knew? Oh.....I will not mention the article in People Magazine that had one of my performance art pieces in it...nope, I just won't. There are many odd twists in the life of the Obesus!  



Buffie said:


> No effin way! For the serious???
> :blink:
> 
> Wow. Ohkay. So let's jot that down under 'Things We Would Never Assume About Obesus'. Wild man. You're probably FULL of tasty little secrets like that, aren't you? I'd bet money on it.


----------



## Buffie (Jun 1, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ...to have their criminal pasts, for where else do you truly learn to be holy, except in jail! Am I wrong? It is for true and makes for a good reform type inspiring story...oh and that is how I got my current job, managing the administrative details of our mental health programs....I was going through treatment for addiction and started working for the program...the next step is the Master's in Business Admin with emphasis in organizational psychology! :bow: I have discussed all this on the boards, but I guess that was, like waaaay before the new boards or just when they were going up...who knew? Oh.....I will not mention the article in People Magazine that had one of my performance art pieces in it...nope, I just won't. There are many odd twists in the life of the Obesus!



Makes sense. Wisdom certainly comes from a mix of learning what to do and what NOT to do. 

What's organizational psychology? I don't think I've ever heard of it. 

Article in People! Get down with your bad self, Mister. What issue?


----------



## porkchop (Jun 1, 2007)

Obesus said:


> Grand Theft...and whooooo, was it ever grand...I still have $28,000 restitution to go after paying it off for eight years...only a year on house detention and four months in the beautiful San Bruno CJ-7 facility., but I made it to TRUSTEE!!! Wa-hoooey!...My advice, crime don't pay, avoid the Mexican tar heroin and be good little bunnies! Oh, I have heard *much* to-do about the women loving "bad boys"...well, partner, no such thing...not once, has my criminal felony past ever enticed a young lady into any sort of dalliance, nosireebob! I'll vouch on that in a court of law! I do have good luck attracting lesbians half my age for some reason...maybe I need me a good Tarot card reading over here in the dang fog! :bow: Other than that, the day has been grand, Miss Buffie....oh, there is no bad attached to you in any way shape or form...you are, after all, goddess of all delightfulness and MISTRESS of the thread, if you catch my drift! (kneels)



I think you are not looking at the right people...lol....maybe not a Tarot card reading but a new pair of glasses? 
Everyone has some fun and highjinxes in their past....some not as high in the hinxes as others... but something none the less. Myself how ever...I haven't even got a speeding ticket...lol....I am a chicken!!!:doh:


----------



## Timberwolf (Jun 1, 2007)

A chicken... Though you look more like a M&M...


----------



## Buffie (Jun 1, 2007)

Timberwolf said:


> A chicken... Though you look more like a M&M...



:huh: 
Ugh... that made me think of chicken-flavored M&Ms. Ewwww.

Yet her name is Porkchop... A pork-flavored chicken M&M? A candy-coated porkchop dinner wth chicken fried rice? Maybe that's a secret from her past? Hmmm... I think we've uncovered an oddly flavored mystery, folks.


----------



## Buffie (Jun 1, 2007)

Most retarded thing Dr. Phil said today...

"I don't care how flat you make a pancake, it's still got two sides."


WTF? 

He's actually a robot, isn't he? A robot with a tiny little alien operating him from a control panel hidden in the moustache.


----------



## Obesus (Jun 2, 2007)

Organizational Psychology is the study of how individuals and groups function in corporate settings and how they communicate or fail to communicate...these are usually specialists who work in HR departments on touchy situations or with companies who are failing because of staff issues. It is a fascinating thing! 



Buffie said:


> Makes sense. Wisdom certainly comes from a mix of learning what to do and what NOT to do.
> 
> What's organizational psychology? I don't think I've ever heard of it.
> 
> Article in People! Get down with your bad self, Mister. What issue?



The piccy is me, from the July 14th, 1986 issue of People, 100 pounds ago! I would be the reclining figure in the middle with the sinister folks around me!! Memories....the photo was shot in in Frisco at 3AM at the old Art Motel, which was basically a gutted motel with no roof...it was pouring rain...wild!


----------



## Obesus (Jun 2, 2007)

I have to leave them 28 year old psychology students alone and mix with the hip crowd, the in crowd, the people downtown, where all the lights are bright....oooooops! Started getting carried away with both Ramsey Lewis and Petula Clark at the same time! I promise to be more appropriate and leave the belly dancers alone too!  Oh, I am a _hopelessly_ wild and crazy guy!  Thanks for the support, though...muchas gracias! I do need new glasses...maybe when the County schedules that next cost of living adjustment...around 2015!!!:doh: 



porkchop said:


> I think you are not looking at the right people...lol....maybe not a Tarot card reading but a new pair of glasses?
> Everyone has some fun and highjinxes in their past....some not as high in the hinxes as others... but something none the less. Myself how ever...I haven't even got a speeding ticket...lol....I am a chicken!!!:doh:


----------



## Buffie (Jun 2, 2007)

Obesus said:


> Organizational Psychology is the study of how individuals and groups function in corporate settings and how they communicate or fail to communicate...these are usually specialists who work in HR departments on touchy situations or with companies who are failing because of staff issues. It is a fascinating thing!
> 
> 
> 
> The piccy is me, from the July 14th, 1986 issue of People, 100 pounds ago! I would be the reclining figure in the middle with the sinister folks around me!! Memories....the photo was shot in in Frisco at 3AM at the old Art Motel, which was basically a gutted motel with no roof...it was pouring rain...wild!



Thanks for the People Pic! Have you ever written an auto-biography? I honestly think you should.

Organizational psychology sounds like something that is greatly lacking in business, despite it's vital importance to the survival and success of corporations. The reason it perplexed me before was because I was thinking about "organizational" in the more neat-freak sense of the word... but it's meant in the social sense. Duh on me!!! LOL 

Hello, Buffie, it's _ psychology _ , which did you *think* it would be?? Gawd. _answering myself_ Well, hello yourself. It could have been meant in the other sense because like neat-freakness is a reason why people sometimes seek psychologists help. omg. Deeerrrr... ever heard of OCD? 
:doh: 

What have you learned about it so far? Like say... what is an organizational psychologist's perspective on nepotism?


----------



## Obesus (Jun 2, 2007)

The autobiography will definitely happen, after the two Sci-Fi novels in progress, a book of my articles collected from magazines and books, the mighty Obesonomicon, and a few other assorted projects...one of my big areas is conspiratology...Ned Sonntag and I are sure that the Great Ancient Ones have a plot afoot to fatten us all up......for DESSERT! Muahahahaha! Hmmmmmm...back to the cheesy sci-fi novel #1 chapter 3! 



Buffie said:


> Thanks for the People Pic! Have you ever written an auto-biography? I honestly think you should.
> 
> Organizational psychology sounds like something that is greatly lacking in business, despite it's vital importance to the survival and success of corporations. The reason it perplexed me before was because I was thinking about "organizational" in the more neat-freak sense of the word... but it's meant in the social sense. Duh on me!!! LOL
> 
> ...


----------



## fatlane (Jun 3, 2007)

Law-breaking, eh?

OK, my lawyer says it's cool for me to mention this episode, so here goes...

In 1987, I was a fresh kid just outta high school with more than a passing interest in politics and Doing the Right Thing. So I'm on the UT campus and everyone's talking about Reagan and the Iran-Contra thing, and I'm shootin' off my mouth with all kinds of teenagery opinions and then this older feller, looked like he was a graduate student or something, glares at me. That glare was one of those "shut the hell up you ignorant punk because I've got scars older than you" looks.

So I shut up and listened to him. He was a Nicaraguan refugee from the Sandinistas, so he said, and totally drew me in with his tales of narrow escapes and derring-do. As I listened, I began to forgive Reagan, as I was seeing things from his perspective. Soon, he had my phone number and said he'd give me a call sometime and we'd get together to do "something useful", as he put it.

Two days later, he calls me and we meet at the Come-Back Bar and Grill off Guadalupe and after a BBQ sandwich, he has me walk with him to his apartment. He hands me a briefcase and tells me I'll get $50 if I just keep it at my place for one night. I figure, sure, why not? I take it home. I didn't even think to open it.

The next morning, around 6AM, the Nicaraguan's banging on my apartment door. I answer, he rushes in and demands the case. I show him where it is. He grabs it, throws fifty bucks on the table, and runs out the open door. Not thirty seconds later, four Austin PD officers charge past my apartment in the direction the Nicaraguan ran.

I never got so much as investigated, but I'm pretty sure that fifty bucks wasn't clean, honest money, if you know what I mean.


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## porkchop (Jun 4, 2007)

you guys sure your not undercover feds or something?  
You sure have some good stories .... how does one get involved in things like this ....? I am trying desperately to think of soemthing that would even count in terms of something like your stories....oh wait I know....Does using my sisters ID for a year to get into bars count?


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## Obesus (Jun 5, 2007)

Impersonatin' yer own dear sister, eh? Well, we have ways of dealing with the likes o' you! How about a nice Latte' and some creamy fudge??? :batting: 



porkchop said:


> you guys sure your not undercover feds or something?
> You sure have some good stories .... how does one get involved in things like this ....? I am trying desperately to think of soemthing that would even count in terms of something like your stories....oh wait I know....Does using my sisters ID for a year to get into bars count?


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## Buffie (Jun 5, 2007)

Obesus said:


> conspiratology



Yeah, but can you *proooove* it??? 

 

No, seriously, tell me more about confirmed conspiracies, please.


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## Buffie (Jun 5, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Law-breaking, eh?
> 
> OK, my lawyer says it's cool for me to mention this episode, so here goes...
> 
> ...



What do you think was in the case??? 

While Pulp Fiction was a really good movie, I don't like to watch it very often because I'm always frustrated that they never show us WHAT'S IN THE CASE! Some people *want* to know what's in the dang case! I'm one of them!!!


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## Buffie (Jun 5, 2007)

porkchop said:


> you guys sure your not undercover feds or something?
> You sure have some good stories .... how does one get involved in things like this ....? I am trying desperately to think of soemthing that would even count in terms of something like your stories....oh wait I know....Does using my sisters ID for a year to get into bars count?



TOTALLY counts.

Me, too. From my early teens until I didn't need it anymore, I was 22 and my name was Gloria!!! Whoo hoo!!! 

I wasn't breaking the law at the time, but I got pulled over by my own dad once. 

Oops, my bad. 

I <was> breaking the law. Sorta. It wasn't actually *me*. I was only driving, but 2 of my 3 friends that I wasn't supposed to have in the car that I wasn't supposed to be driving had open containers. Bacardi and Coke. And we were under 18. And out past curfew. And I think one of them was not buckled up. But still, how completely UNawesome of him! WAY! Even in the midst of the terror of having my dad, who resembles an angry shaved gorilla even when he's in a -good- mood, screaming in my face in front of my _cool_ friends, I managed to muster enough of my wits to be oh mi GAWD pissed off at him. 

He didn't give me a ticket, because he knew he would have to pay for it (I chose to start summer classes at the community college instead of get a job that year). But let's just say my mum was furious FURIOUS for having to drive me to school since dad didn't just take away the keys, but took off the distributor cap and plug wires and locked them in the gun safe. Yeah, that sucked ass. 

Taking the damn car apart was a bit extreme. Geezus, it's not like I burned down an old-folks home or something. Parents! Squares!!!


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## Obesus (Jun 5, 2007)

...I got da evidence buried in a cigar box out in the backyard, yeah, that's it, sure! Yeah, OK! Uhhhhhh.....I am not too sure what I am exactly talking about, but I think I am pretty sure about the cigar-box! 




Buffie said:


> Yeah, but can you *proooove* it???
> 
> 
> 
> No, seriously, tell me more about confirmed conspiracies, please.



Oh! You mean REAL confirmed conspiracies....uh....like OK...for a book called "Secret and Suppressed" edited by the late Jim Keith, I tell all about a shady 18th Century masonic society called the "Herrenhutter" or "Moravian Brethren"...and do you know what they did....the members got together with the lodge ladies and had SEX inside a big blue velvet box so that the "Papa" of the Lodge could watch and ogle and such! That is CONFIRMED! OK...next on the hit parade! Uhhhhh Rasputin was involved in a whole pile of strange things!  Oh k...the Illuminati are NOT right wing at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There I said it. Oh....ahhhhhhh....I am a (gulp)...uhhhhh..."Salutem Punctis Trianguli! Light, Life and Love! Licht, Lebt und Lieben! Ewige Blumenkraft!


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## Buffie (Jun 5, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ...I got da evidence buried in a cigar box out in the backyard, yeah, that's it, sure! Yeah, OK! Uhhhhhh.....I am not too sure what I am exactly talking about, but I think I am pretty sure about the cigar-box!
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Evidence in a cigar box? For some reason I pictured something more un-orthodox from you. Like how I assume so much? 
 

I did not know that about the 18th century masonic society. Why does it seem like a lot of conspiracies are wrapped around someone's repressed kink? 

Do you think there would be fewer conspiracies if more people were cool with their own sexshuwahl thangs?


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## Obesus (Jun 5, 2007)

oh, golly darn, I was just kidding!  The only way "evidence" actually happens is the usual hard research into parallel patterns, repeating events and themes and motifs that are suggestive...for example, The 9th Century "House of Wisdom" in Cairo, the 18th Century Bavarian Illuminati, the Order of the Golden Dawn, the Ordo Templii Orientis and AMORC all have 9 degrees of initiation...in the last three organizations, the degrees are identical...the are all found in a Masonic Lodge active in Berlin around the year 1800 called "Der Gold und Rosenkreuzer"...beyond the obvious Kabbalistic systems that they all share, there are even deeper patterns to the nine degrees that are echoed in a lot of Masonic and illuminized groups that have existed over the past 200 years...see how it works!?

The sexual motif for secret societies is fairly common, mostly because until the late 20th Century, that kind of kinky stuff was almost impossible to talk about or to do except behind closed doors. If you wanted some social support, then you needed to form a fancy society! Why, Dimensions operates kind of the same way...we tend to forget that we speak a special language here with unusual terminology that most outsiders don't understand...we all share a common viewpoint that fat is cool and we are all the total opposite in terms ot beliefs to just about everyone "outside"...hmmm, we are kind of like a secret kinky little society in a sort of way! :bow: I think a lot of secret societies are just dying off for lack of interest...folks love their mysteries and speculations about secret history, but the Internet seems to be getting more action than the Lodge rooms these days....young kids are just not that interested in joining anything, much less a strange society with funny costumes.
Timothy, Magister Templi, XIII Illuminatus de Avingon!  
http://freemasonry.bcy.ca/anti-masonry/miller_e/occult_theocrasy.html




Buffie said:


> Evidence in a cigar box? For some reason I pictured something more un-orthodox from you. Like how I assume so much?
> 
> 
> I did not know that about the 18th century masonic society. Why does it seem like a lot of conspiracies are wrapped around someone's repressed kink?
> ...


----------



## fatlane (Jun 7, 2007)

J. Edgar Hoover was a repressed kink, and lookit HIS secret society.

There's so much crap that goes on, it isn't even funny. Democracy? Please.

That reminds me of the time I *think* I witnessed a murder. That's why I'm so fascinated with the movie _Blow-Up_. It's almost a story out of my past, except I didn't have sex with a bunch of skinny models wrapped in purple paper.

I mean, how can you go back and investigate a murder scene when all the evidence is gone? All I can say is, watch out when you go to state parks on days that they're normally closed.


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## Buffie (Jun 7, 2007)

I don't EVEN know what you guys are talking about. If you don't mind my asking, what are your IQs? Low 200s? Dang.


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## Timberwolf (Jun 8, 2007)

Er... High five?


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## fatlane (Jun 8, 2007)

Buffie said:


> I don't EVEN know what you guys are talking about. If you don't mind my asking, what are your IQs? Low 200s? Dang.



It's all a matter of exploring the frontiers of sanity.


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## porkchop (Jun 8, 2007)

Obesus said:


> Impersonatin' yer own dear sister, eh? Well, we have ways of dealing with the likes o' you! How about a nice Latte' and some creamy fudge??? :batting:


Well I don't know...is there gonna be undercover people hidden anywhere in sight...?? This isn't a sting is it???


----------



## fatlane (Jun 8, 2007)




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## Obesus (Jun 9, 2007)

...state lines or city, county and municipality incorporated areas during this giftage! This is strictly legit and legal, no sting involved, although the fudge itself smacks of being highly illegal, immoral and fattening! Just the way it is supposed to be! :eat2: Now I just need a travel grant from the National Endowment for the Arts for this thing...hey, it could BE performance art, for all I know! :bow: 



porkchop said:


> Well I don't know...is there gonna be undercover people hidden anywhere in sight...?? This isn't a sting is it???


----------



## Obesus (Jun 9, 2007)

Back when I was in Junior High, around 1963, they gave us the infamous IQ tests developed back at Stanford during the 50's. I had already been placed in a special "gifted track" back in 6th grade and was doing highly accelerated studies, but one day, the vice-principal asks me and another lad to come to a room usually used by the school counselor. We are thinking, like WTF, and then Mr. Vice-Principal introduces us to a cheesy looking guy in polyester and new dude starts extolling the virtues of MENSA to us. Holy crappola! Sergei and I looked at each other and concluded in our silent way that this guy was two bricks short of a pile. We politely declined. Then there was the time in High School when our Advanced Placement college-level English class had to debate and I decided to take my debate partner as this viciously brilliant lad whose father was the Indian Ambassador to the US...this kid was 13, a high school senior, doing college level physics and headed for Stanford to work on particle physics! For our topic, I chose the philosophy of the Marquis De Sade, as espoused in "Philosophie Dans Le' Boudoir"...the classes' collective jaws all dropped, but we rocked and the teacher was vastly amused. Then, there was my first Phi-Beta Kappa Alpha of California meeting at UC Berkeley, after I graduated in Medieval Art History with a 3.99 average and hit the 99th percentile on the GRE. There were these two young kids at the meeting..maybe 12 or 13 and I asked one of the PBK dudes who they were...they were GRADUATE STUDENTS...doctoral candidates in physics! My jaw dropped...this kind of thing really happens...but my mentor at PBK said that they were so brilliant that the only people who could even hope to understand them were their graduate advisors and each other...I think they spoke in some kind of coded language, like the ones that twins develop! WOW! Yes....been some brainy places in my day! Woot! :bow: 



Buffie said:


> I don't EVEN know what you guys are talking about. If you don't mind my asking, what are your IQs? Low 200s? Dang.


----------



## porkchop (Jun 9, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ...state lines or city, county and municipality incorporated areas during this giftage! This is strictly legit and legal, no sting involved, although the fudge itself smacks of being highly illegal, immoral and fattening! Just the way it is supposed to be! :eat2: Now I just need a travel grant from the National Endowment for the Arts for this thing...hey, it could BE performance art, for all I know! :bow:



Well ok then! Coffee is on! You had to bring up the big F word didn't you? geez loise now I am going to be craving that all day and it is only 630 in the morning....dammit!:eat2: 
Now about that performance thingy...lol...do I need to be in costume? Just checking...


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## porkchop (Jun 9, 2007)

Obesus said:


> Back when I was in Junior High, around 1963, they gave us the infamous IQ tests developed back at Stanford during the 50's. I had already been placed in a special "gifted track" back in 6th grade and was doing highly accelerated studies, but one day, the vice-principal asks me and another lad to come to a room usually used by the school counselor. We are thinking, like WTF, and then Mr. Vice-Principal introduces us to a cheesy looking guy in polyester and new dude starts extolling the virtues of MENSA to us. Holy crappola! Sergei and I looked at each other and concluded in our silent way that this guy was two bricks short of a pile. We politely declined. Then there was the time in High School when our Advanced Placement college-level English class had to debate and I decided to take my debate partner as this viciously brilliant lad whose father was the Indian Ambassador to the US...this kid was 13, a high school senior, doing college level physics and headed for Stanford to work on particle physics! For our topic, I chose the philosophy of the Marquis De Sade, as espoused in "Philosophie Dans Le' Boudoir"...the classes' collective jaws all dropped, but we rocked and the teacher was vastly amused. Then, there was my first Phi-Beta Kappa Alpha of California meeting at UC Berkeley, after I graduated in Medieval Art History with a 3.99 average and hit the 99th percentile on the GRE. There were these two young kids at the meeting..maybe 12 or 13 and I asked one of the PBK dudes who they were...they were GRADUATE STUDENTS...doctoral candidates in physics! My jaw dropped...this kind of thing really happens...but my mentor at PBK said that they were so brilliant that the only people who could even hope to understand them were their graduate advisors and each other...I think they spoke in some kind of coded language, like the ones that twins develop! WOW! Yes....been some brainy places in my day! Woot! :bow:



And just think Buffie....they still like to hang out with us 'uns!


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## Obesus (Jun 9, 2007)

It is part of my _duty_ to remind our threaders and threadettes that we must needs to select foods from the latte-fudge food pyramid on a regular, if not daily (I would say hourly) basis! I _do_ work for the Federal Fudge Agency (FFA), after all! I am a fudge-tester and certifier of no small reknown! Costumes are not involved...this is a "stealth" performance;verrrrry Postmodernist and ultra-hip! 



porkchop said:


> Well ok then! Coffee is on! You had to bring up the big F word didn't you? geez loise now I am going to be craving that all day and it is only 630 in the morning....dammit!:eat2:
> Now about that performance thingy...lol...do I need to be in costume? Just checking...


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## Obesus (Jun 9, 2007)

I am, after all is said and done, the dumb-cluck dullard lab assistant and minion, whilst Master FATLANE is the certified, well-funded and highly placed certified Super-Genius! My only thought on that is that I have never quite figured out exactly which branch of Science it is that Master Fatlane practices. I have always assumed that he was so gosh-darn smart that he did a whole bunch of them all at once, so that it looks kinda' jumbly to the untrained eye. I suppose that explains the odd-looking lab equipment in the hovering green glowing disc-type thingies hovering out in the parking lot....who knows! Gosh, he is smart!  



porkchop said:


> And just think Buffie....they still like to hang out with us 'uns!


----------



## Jane (Jun 9, 2007)

Obesus said:


> I, after all, am the dumb-cluck dullard lab assistant and minion, whilst Master FATLANE is the certified, well-funded and highly placed certified Super-Genius! My only thought on that is that I have never quite figured out exactly which branch of Science it is that Master Fatlane practices. I have always assumed that he was so gosh-darn smart that he did a whole bunch of them. I suppose that explains the odd-looking lab equipment in the hovering silver disc-type things hovering out in the parking lot....who knows! Gosh he is smart!



Alchemy...without a doubt.


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## Obesus (Jun 9, 2007)

...but he learned it from some little grey-colored guys that hang around the lab all the time....big, cute eyes, kinda' like kitty-cats! They are swell guys, although English is not their strong point! :shocked: 



Jane said:


> Alchemy...without a doubt.


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## Jane (Jun 9, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ...but he learned it from some little grey-colored guys that hang around the lab all the time....big, cute eyes, kinda' like kitty-cats! They are swell guys, although English is not their strong point! :shocked:



I see you haven't read my "Kitty Mama" thread in the Clubhouse. Dealing with their urine smell gets to me. He needs to either potty or litter-box train them, or they need to learn to "go" outside. In a spaceship, that can be problematic. However, we are talking about MY pleasure and comfort here, so they better learn.

(Damn alien urinators and their male-cat-pee smell.)


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## fatlane (Jun 9, 2007)

Obesus said:


> I am, after all is said and done, the dumb-cluck dullard lab assistant and minion, whilst Master FATLANE is the certified, well-funded and highly placed certified Super-Genius! My only thought on that is that I have never quite figured out exactly which branch of Science it is that Master Fatlane practices. I have always assumed that he was so gosh-darn smart that he did a whole bunch of them all at once, so that it looks kinda' jumbly to the untrained eye. I suppose that explains the odd-looking lab equipment in the hovering green glowing disc-type thingies hovering out in the parking lot....who knows! Gosh, he is smart!



*BEHOLD HERE IS MY SCIENCE*

_
Life is not a dream. Careful! Careful! Careful!
We fall down the stairs in order to eat the moist earth
or we climb to the knife edge of the snow with the voices of the dead dahlias.
But forgetfulness does not exist, dreams do not exist;
flesh exists. Kisses tie our mouths
in a thicket of new veins,
and whoever his pain pains will feel that pain forever
and whoever is afraid of death will carry it on his shoulders.

--Federico Garcia Lorca_


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## Obesus (Jun 9, 2007)

Did you know that I went to the exact same High School as Carol Channing AND Johnny Mathis????? HMMMMMMMMM? S. Dali, on the other hand, went to a completely DIFFERENT High School, somewhere else!!! AHA! Are we sensing a _pattern_ here?????




fatlane said:


> *BEHOLD HERE IS MY SCIENCE*
> 
> _
> Life is not a dream. Careful! Careful! Careful!
> ...


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## fatlane (Jun 10, 2007)

Obesus, you've hit on a fascinating theory... there seem to be two groups of people in the world: those who are among your high school alumni, and those who are not.

Provide me with the results of a longitudinal study to see if there are any other groups of people. If not, we move with _Operation Reunion_ as planned!


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## Obesus (Jun 11, 2007)

Maybe them little grey guys took everyone else away???!!! AHA! It could be the work of dastardly fiends from another dimension, or maybe everybody else is at a really big picnic in Golden Gate Park!  



fatlane said:


> Obesus, you've hit on a fascinating theory... there seem to be two groups of people in the world: those who are among your high school alumni, and those who are not.
> 
> Provide me with the results of a longitudinal study to see if there are any other groups of people. If not, we move with _Operation Reunion_ as planned!


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## fatlane (Jun 11, 2007)

Excellent. Now to collect the brains.


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## Obesus (Jun 12, 2007)

.....that you made me take that class in "Elementary brain-specimin collection for fun and profit" at the local community college! That is one less thing to worry about in my busy life!   



fatlane said:


> Excellent. Now to collect the brains.


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## fatlane (Jun 12, 2007)

Even more fun will be the _*NEW PROJECT*_ I'm putting together so you can work towards your higher-than-education goals.


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## Obesus (Jun 12, 2007)

"NEW PROJECT"!!!...that one...ahhhhh, I won't mention it to a soul! I am the very model of discretion!  

QUOTE=fatlane;466291]Even more fun will be the _*NEW PROJECT*_ I'm putting together so you can work towards your higher-than-education goals.[/QUOTE]


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## fatlane (Jun 14, 2007)

Yes, new project... the one you know nothing about so you _will_ be the very model of discretion. You can't reveal any secrets you know nothing about.

Except for the time when you borrowed my yacht and then called 911 about the guy I had tied up to a chair in the hold. But now we know how to work with those situations. When you discover those little surprises, call me before you call 911 - from a different phone. I don't want any Hardy Boys types looking at the phone records and noticing that earlier call to me. 

But, yes, we have it all worked out. Sort of. I'll send you an email.


----------



## Jane (Jun 14, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Yes, new project... the one you know nothing about so you _will_ be the very model of discretion. You can't reveal any secrets you know nothing about.
> 
> Except for the time when you borrowed my yacht and then called 911 about the guy I had tied up to a chair in the hold. But now we know how to work with those situations. When you discover those little surprises, call me before you call 911 - from a different phone. I don't want any Hardy Boys types looking at the phone records and noticing that earlier call to me.
> 
> But, yes, we have it all worked out. Sort of. I'll send you an email.



Yep, Obe has to learn, "What happens with the Pink Girls ends with the Pink Girls." It can be a matter of national security.


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## fatlane (Jun 14, 2007)

What's said on national television stays on national television.


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## Obesus (Jun 15, 2007)

I am thinking you said: "Call the national television about the NEW PROJECT", the one that I am guessing involves drilling to the Earth's core to collect rare radioactive materials for the Hyper-Buffie and Porkchop-tron advanced models? ?????? Should I make it Oprah or Dr. Phil?? I can also send out for burgers, tacos and lattes! Fudge for Porkchop is always tasteful and tasty too!  Am I not the world's bestest minion??? 



fatlane said:


> What's said on national television stays on national television.


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## fatlane (Jun 18, 2007)

Are you not>


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## porkchop (Jun 19, 2007)

Obesus said:


> I am thinking you said: "Call the national television about the NEW PROJECT", the one that I am guessing involves drilling to the Earth's core to collect rare radioactive materials for the Hyper-Buffie and Porkchop-tron advanced models? ?????? Should I make it Oprah or Dr. Phil?? I can also send out for burgers, tacos and lattes! Fudge for Porkchop is always tasteful and tasty too!  Am I not the world's bestest minion???



Yes...Yes you are!
:wubu: :eat1: :eat2:


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## fatlane (Jun 23, 2007)

OK, everybody meet me down at the waffle house! I got a great idea, but I don't want to discuss it in front of the riff-raff. 

View attachment IMG_6670.JPG


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## Jane (Jun 23, 2007)

Scratches head...thinks Waffle House...no riff raff?

Obviously FL has been into the magic mushrooms again.


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## porkchop (Jun 27, 2007)

I've been waiting at the Waffle House for a while now...WHERE ARE you guys?


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## Timberwolf (Jun 27, 2007)

Is it possible that there is more than one Waffle House?


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## Obesus (Jun 27, 2007)

You will find what you seek at the _PANCAKE PALACE_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Waffles..are....so....so...goshdarn...frippy-frothington! Pancakes......mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm :eat2: :eat1: :eat2: :eat1: 
Gotta' get me some pancakes......(trances out and loosens belt)



Timberwolf said:


> Is it possible that there is more than one Waffle House?


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## Timberwolf (Jun 27, 2007)

The Paincake Palace? :blink: :huh:


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## Obesus (Jun 27, 2007)

Evil pancakes....pancakes of EVIL and *PAIN*! Yes! Muahahahahahahah! Bad, _evil_ pancakes!  AHA! The Conspiracy rages anew, across discarded, useless belts and hopelessly stretched elastic waistbands! Muahahahhahahahahahah!:shocked: 
Sorry....damn DSL has been out a few days and I think I am suffering from post-traumatic-postlessness....OH....in Deutschland, I think they may be called something other, if they even exist as such, per se...what do the Franzosich call them? Crepes? HA! Out here in the Wild West, we call 'em Griddle Cakes!! that's what my hero, Gabby Hayes woulda' called 'em! :eat2: Ya' eat 'em with masses o' MAPLE SYRUP n' BUTTER (Trances again in ecstasy)



Timberwolf said:


> The Paincake Palace? :blink: :huh:


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## Timberwolf (Jun 27, 2007)

Just chewing on some american pancaces... but I took some nutella instead of maple syrup and butter...

I think the french pancaces would be crepes. These are bigger in diameter, but very thin. You literally can read the newspaper through them...

The german Pfannkuchen are about the same diameter than the crepes, but a little thicker, though not as thick as the american version.


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## Obesus (Jun 28, 2007)

Timberwolf, you have no idea how reassuring it is to me to hear that not only are German cookies called "Keks" and that German cake is called "Kuchen", but that the whole "Pfannkuchen" concept exists as a reality in our World is just comforting...just plain comforting! This means that my sacred quest, my holy journey towards "The perfect pancake" can now take on entirely new DIMENSIONS! AHA! I even made a funny there! Sort of.... :bow: 



Timberwolf said:


> Just chewing on some american pancaces... but I took some nutella instead of maple syrup and butter...
> 
> I think the french pancaces would be crepes. These are bigger in diameter, but very thin. You literally can read the newspaper through them...
> 
> The german Pfannkuchen are about the same diameter than the crepes, but a little thicker, though not as thick as the american version.


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## Timberwolf (Jun 28, 2007)

Yeah, the perfect pancake has many faces, so to speak.


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## Obesus (Jun 28, 2007)

That is very, _very_ Zen! If I point my finger at the pancake, will we look at my finger and say "Oh, what a lovely finger!" or shall we pour syrup on the pancake and enjoy the heck out it? Light fire, make pancake! :bow: 



Timberwolf said:


> Yeah, the perfect pancake has many faces, so to speak.


----------



## porkchop (Jun 28, 2007)

Here's my list....from most favourite to just plain love...
Crepes
French toast
waffles
pancakes

Love em all! If ever you have the chance for crepes...try them with a bit of fresh squeezed orange juice (from a slice of orange) and sprinkle some sugar on them, roll them up...and voila! Amazing! 
Now about Maple syrup.....you have to only eat the real stuff...none of this fake syrup stuff...
Growing up we actually tapped our own trees and collected the sap, boiling it down to syrup. I was forever spoiled and cannot eat the fake stuff! OH Canada!!! (Kinda appropriate with Canada Day almost here!)


----------



## Obesus (Jun 28, 2007)

...as a knight of the holy pancake, I am touched by your pancake sincerity and your loyalty to the true maple! I am off to enjoy some Kids in the Hall in your honor! Salut, eh?! :bow: 
PS...were you to ever actually be in a position to take me up on my infamous Latte' offer, you know that a varietal selection of the pancakes would complement said Latte's perfectly! Zoot, alors! :bow: 



porkchop said:


> Here's my list....from most favourite to just plain love...
> Crepes
> French toast
> waffles
> ...


----------



## porkchop (Jun 30, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ...as a knight of the holy pancake, I am touched by your pancake sincerity and your loyalty to the true maple! I am off to enjoy some Kids in the Hall in your honor! Salut, eh?! :bow:
> PS...were you to ever actually be in a position to take me up on my infamous Latte' offer, you know that a varietal selection of the pancakes would complement said Latte's perfectly! Zoot, alors! :bow:



Now you're just teasing me with that offer....
Sweet heaven.....
:wubu: :wubu: :wubu: :wubu:


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## Obesus (Jun 30, 2007)

It is a simple causal chain to make it happen....I file for the California Non-profit Corporate status (which is no piece of CAKE! :eat2: )...and then apply for a grant to study some specific bits of architecture in Montreal (which are supposed to be coded for Templar symbolism) and I simply drift over in your direction with the lattes, pancake varietals and Omighosh...I almost forgot the FUDGE! See, I have my plans...I just need to accomplish a few simple legal filings and grant apps and voila! (Or something in that order!) I will talk to my legal department on Monday...that would be my "Nonprofit Corporations for Dummies" book!:shocked: 
:smitten: My true concern is fitting all 315 pounds of me into them little dinky airplane seats...now that might take something!  



porkchop said:


> Now you're just teasing me with that offer....
> Sweet heaven.....
> :wubu: :wubu: :wubu: :wubu:


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## porkchop (Jul 4, 2007)

You make it seem all sooooo simple!   lol
Now to the task of fitting into the seat on the plane......slide one hip in and let the other kinda sink in with gravity....maybe that will work....or sometimes ...like at the movie theatre..... I sit on the edge and slide bakwards with my hips and thighs UNDER the arm rests.....that tends to work the best there. It is all about trial and error! 
Stop with the fudge pictures already! I think I gain just looking at them!:doh:


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## Obesus (Jul 7, 2007)

Miss Porkchop, I was just emulating international Creamy Rich Fudge Day there...you ARE familiar with that holiday, eh?  Well, I certainly wouldn't want you gaining from the mere sight of some electronic Creamy Rich Delicious Fudge, so I will switch over to the much more chaste and pure exemplar of Ice Cream, dripping with whipped cream and sauces....all very refreshing, hardly fattening at all; just a few calories here and there and _just_ the thing for this deucedly hot weather! :batting: 
Thank you for the airline seating advice, by the way...as soon as my fiscal people figure out the grant thingy, I will put it to grand use! Avec!  



porkchop said:


> You make it seem all sooooo simple!   lol
> Now to the task of fitting into the seat on the plane......slide one hip in and let the other kinda sink in with gravity....maybe that will work....or sometimes ...like at the movie theatre..... I sit on the edge and slide bakwards with my hips and thighs UNDER the arm rests.....that tends to work the best there. It is all about trial and error!
> Stop with the fudge pictures already! I think I gain just looking at them!:doh:


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## porkchop (Jul 7, 2007)

So I made chocolate cookie dough the other day....baked some cookies with some of it...but the rest is in the fridge...I ask you all...Is it wrong to just periodically take spoon fulls of it to just snack on????? I mean I wouldn't want to be breaking any kind of rule here..... Should I maybe have it on icecream? Whatcha think?:eat1:


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## Obesus (Jul 7, 2007)

...subsections 94-124.6 of the International Food Association's "Guidance on Cookie Dough" and the general legal opinion of the Cookie Dough Inner Council is that periodic spoon fulls of dough are allowable under the guidelines of the famous "Dresden" conference of 1964; i.e., on an "as needed" basis. Now, where you do run into problems is with the matter of the ice cream....we have more of a _philosophical_ problem with that one. Is the cookie dough going on top of the ice cream or is the ice cream going on top of the cookie dough? There are proprieties and principles involved here! :eat1: :batting: 
Oh dear....why do I suddenly feel an irresistable, unshakeable craving for _PANCAKES_ smothered in Maple Syrup?  Oh, right, it is breakfast time!  



porkchop said:


> So I made chocolate cookie dough the other day....baked some cookies with some of it...but the rest is in the fridge...I ask you all...Is it wrong to just periodically take spoon fulls of it to just snack on????? I mean I wouldn't want to be breaking any kind of rule here..... Should I maybe have it on icecream? Whatcha think?:eat1:


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## porkchop (Jul 8, 2007)

I knew you would have a theory, essay, lecture or thesis on this for me! I just knew it! Thanks for the knowledge and the leniency of the whole topic! I tried the cookie dough on TOP of the icecreammmm....oh dear GOD! FANTASTICO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I am in love!


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## Obesus (Jul 9, 2007)

If I may be so bold as to address you directly....allow me to settle my mind on this matter. What you are telling me is that you put the cookie dough on _TOP_ of the ice cream in contradistinction to the laws of physics and nature and it was _GOOD_, indeed better than anyone had a right to expect! Well, this is one of those moments in the history of science when a breakthrough is had by a novel procedure and the result is astonishing! Well done! So now, the experiment must needs be replicated in laboratories around the world...this one in par-tic-u-lar! I am guessing, that since you are a choclately personnage, you might have picked chocolate ice cream as the bedding for the cookie dough...am I close? Well, I am tomorrow bright and early off to requisition the appropriate scientific supplies...nothing but the finest materials and we shall see the glory of your discovery for ourselves! Huzzah! :bow: 



porkchop said:


> I knew you would have a theory, essay, lecture or thesis on this for me! I just knew it! Thanks for the knowledge and the leniency of the whole topic! I tried the cookie dough on TOP of the icecreammmm....oh dear GOD! FANTASTICO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I am in love!


----------



## swamptoad (Jul 9, 2007)

porkchop said:


> I knew you would have a theory, essay, lecture or thesis on this for me! I just knew it! Thanks for the knowledge and the leniency of the whole topic! I tried the cookie dough on TOP of the icecreammmm....oh dear GOD! FANTASTICO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I am in love!




Somethin' else to try would be to crumble a reese's cup to a considerably diminuitive size and mix it thoroughly with your icecream. 1 reese's cup broken thoroughly apart per one bowl of icecream... or if you prefer it more peanut-buttery or chocolatey... then VOILA.. crumble the second as well. :doh:  This process is slow in comparison to the blizzard maker of DQ, alas, the effort is well worth it and you also save some of your money. :bow: 

Of course, there's nothing really ingenius about this. Just something I like to make for myself or other people. :happy:


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## fatlane (Jul 9, 2007)

OK, I got back from my travels... let me tell you all about the fried pizza I had up in Gettysburg... 

View attachment IMG_7347.JPG


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## Obesus (Jul 10, 2007)

Where WERE you, exactly? I mean that could have been Gettysburg, INDIA or Gettysburg, PERU or Gettysburg, MARS! Details. We need the details on that pizza! What a concept. Ahem! I am now returning to my usual quiet and blase' self, O Master o' mine! (Grovels and scrapes, diffidently)



fatlane said:


> OK, I got back from my travels... let me tell you all about the fried pizza I had up in Gettysburg...


----------



## porkchop (Jul 10, 2007)

Obesus said:


> If I may be so bold as to address you directly....allow me to settle my mind on this matter. What you are telling me is that you put the cookie dough on _TOP_ of the ice cream in contradistinction to the laws of physics and nature and it was _GOOD_, indeed better than anyone had a right to expect! Well, this is one of those moments in the history of science when a breakthrough is had by a novel procedure and the result is astonishing! Well done! So now, the experiment must needs be replicated in laboratories around the world...this one in par-tic-u-lar! I am guessing, that since you are a choclately personnage, you might have picked chocolate ice cream as the bedding for the cookie dough...am I close? Well, I am tomorrow bright and early off to requisition the appropriate scientific supplies...nothing but the finest materials and we shall see the glory of your discovery for ourselves! Huzzah! :bow:



When I say on top ...I mean on top! I tried it on vanilla icecream as that was what was on hand....but my favourite is always chocolate...so the next time that will be the case. I am doubley sure of it's success!


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## porkchop (Jul 10, 2007)

swamptoad said:


> Somethin' else to try would be to crumble a reese's cup to a considerably diminuitive size and mix it thoroughly with your icecream. 1 reese's cup broken thoroughly apart per one bowl of icecream... or if you prefer it more peanut-buttery or chocolatey... then VOILA.. crumble the second as well. :doh:  This process is slow in comparison to the blizzard maker of DQ, alas, the effort is well worth it and you also save some of your money. :bow:
> 
> Of course, there's nothing really ingenius about this. Just something I like to make for myself or other people. :happy:



You have a wonderful Idea!! If one could only save the peanut butter cup unitl one gets some icecream....that would be the true issue.


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## porkchop (Jul 10, 2007)

fatlane said:


> OK, I got back from my travels... let me tell you all about the fried pizza I had up in Gettysburg...



Sooooo....Talk!:eat2:


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## fatlane (Jul 10, 2007)

Obesus said:


> Where WERE you, exactly? I mean that could have been Gettysburg, INDIA or Gettysburg, PERU or Gettysburg, MARS! Details. We need the details on that pizza! What a concept. Ahem! I am now returning to my usual quiet and blase' self, O Master o' mine! (Grovels and scrapes, diffidently)



OK, it was Gettysburg, PENNSYLVANIA. The one on earth. Near the battlefield by the same name. It was a fun little eatery called Dunlap's. Yes, the name of the place did strike an inner chord. Entered the place, I did, and looked at the menu, did I. Then I quit talking like Yoda.

I had a nice enough burger there, but the highlight of the meal was the fried pizza. It's a little dough, cheese, and pepperoni rolled up in an egg roll wrapper and then deep fried. Marinara sauce came with it for dippin' purposes.

Another must-try in that region, which extends southward into the Shenanndoah Valley by the way, is to partake of the Amish Meat Sticks. Much better than jerky, they're sold up by the cash registers at the convenience stores where one gets gasolines. They go at a rate of two for a dollar and they look like long, thin sausages. They are divinely inspired forms of preserved meat, I tell you!

Along the way, I also managed to nosh upon pickled green tomatoes and pickled onions to my great delight. 

Then there are the ribs at Corky's in Memphis. I ordered a rack of dry ribs and then applied Corky's excellent sauce to them. I had moments of rib perfection there. Truly I did. They are a place to be visited, waited for, then eaten at. Make your travel arrangements accordingly.


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## Obesus (Jul 10, 2007)

...has reached all-time high levels...we need to start a club or something, like the "Buffie/Porkchop/Fatlane travelogue of Food" show....I would get cable just to watch it...someday when the Master travel to SF, I will show him some of our miserable cuisine over here in this foodless town!


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## fatlane (Jul 10, 2007)

Foodless town? That's not a good thing. You'll start eating the wainscotting, like rats! 

Then again, deep fried wainscotting with BBQ sauce might not be so bad.

But it won't be as good as the ribs, so... find some meat there, O-dad. I don't care what matter of meat it is, so long as it's not human flesh. You know how I like to save that up for special occasions.


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## porkchop (Jul 11, 2007)

fatlane said:


> OK, it was Gettysburg, PENNSYLVANIA. The one on earth. Near the battlefield by the same name. It was a fun little eatery called Dunlap's. Yes, the name of the place did strike an inner chord. Entered the place, I did, and looked at the menu, did I. Then I quit talking like Yoda.
> 
> I had a nice enough burger there, but the highlight of the meal was the fried pizza. It's a little dough, cheese, and pepperoni rolled up in an egg roll wrapper and then deep fried. Marinara sauce came with it for dippin' purposes.
> 
> ...



Atrue trip...after my own heart! What did you do...eat your way across the country??? Any why...why...why weren't the rest of us invited????
Answer that.
I know Obesus wanted to ask....so I did it for him!


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## fatlane (Jul 11, 2007)

I was on a mission from God.


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## stan_der_man (Jul 12, 2007)

fatlane said:


> I was on a mission from God.



Except that you didn't go hungry, bow bow bow...

rrrrrrrrrruubbbbaaaaaaaaaabiscuiiiiiiiitt


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## Obesus (Jul 12, 2007)

....yes, I was just about to ask the Master why he didn't at least Fed-Ex us some samples!  It strikes me that we are veering dangerously close to both the weight boards and the food boards here and I propose a brief respite or interlude in our foodism to discuss something of slightly lesser importance, but one which calls all of our attentions to focus......where does everyone find pants with elastic waistbands? I have found the nurses's scrubs to be discreet and tastefully stylish when I have that urge for....uhhhhhh....FOOOD!:bow: (Couldn't stop myself there! :eat1: :eat2: )

The Piccy is last year's birthday party at work, when I was stylishly thin and emaciated compared to now!


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## Buffie (Jul 12, 2007)

OB has cake. Did everyone get a piece?


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## Obesus (Jul 12, 2007)

....to muh Ponderosa, where I ponder ponderously on the ponderosity of it all and have some fine, fine cake! Y'all are invited! :eat1: Don't forget your GPS thingies; the fog is awful thick 'round these parts!  



Buffie said:


> OB has cake. Did everyone get a piece?


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## porkchop (Jul 12, 2007)

Buffie said:


> OB has cake. Did everyone get a piece?



I DID NOT get any cake!
darn it!

HI BUFF! How goes it?


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## porkchop (Jul 12, 2007)

fatlane said:


> I was on a mission from God.



Yeah right! Give us the real scoop.


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## Obesus (Jul 12, 2007)

I certainly mailed a piece, addressed to: "Porkchop, Canada." It didn't arrive yet? Oh dear, perhaps I should have been a bit more specific about it all!   



porkchop said:


> I DID NOT get any cake!
> darn it!
> 
> HI BUFF! How goes it?


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## porkchop (Jul 12, 2007)

Obesus said:


> I certainly mailed a piece, addressed to: "Porkchop, Canada." It didn't arrive yet? Oh dear, perhaps I should have been a bit more specific about it all!



That is what was in that envelope??????????:doh:


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## fatlane (Jul 12, 2007)

Speaking of elastic waistbands, is it me, or are nurses as a professional group generally quite overweight? Not all, but many...


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## Obesus (Jul 12, 2007)

Should have used a sturdy box....well. I just live for them learning experiences! Will do better next time, promises.....:blink: :eat1: :blush: 




porkchop said:


> That is what was in that envelope??????????:doh:


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## Obesus (Jul 12, 2007)

Why do I suddenly feel Ed McMahon coming through my psychic channel? The answer is YES...there are many large folks in the healthcare industry, which is why a lot of manufacurers of nurses scrubs carry them up to XXXXXL and higher! I am modelling the very tight XXXL version in the piccy, but have since moved to the more commodious XXXL Royal Blue. I think a lot of people in healthcare were born under the sign of Cancer...belly folks! :eat1: 


fatlane said:


> Speaking of elastic waistbands, is it me, or are nurses as a professional group generally quite overweight? Not all, but many...


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## porkchop (Jul 13, 2007)

Obesus said:


> Should have used a sturdy box....well. I just live for them learning experiences! Will do better next time, promises.....:blink: :eat1: :blush:



Alright then!


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## porkchop (Jul 13, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Speaking of elastic waistbands, is it me, or are nurses as a professional group generally quite overweight? Not all, but many...



I think about half and half in my experience. Maybe it has something to do with the type of person it takes to be a nurse is predisposed to being a care giving type such as a mother who in turn likes to nurish and feed her loved ones. My aunt was and my sister has just become a nurse...both or on the soft and lovable side of things!


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## fatlane (Jul 13, 2007)

This is why I love a trip to the doctor. O tempora! O mores! O nursing scrubs!


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## Obesus (Jul 15, 2007)

....yes...nurses with sharp things and tubes and scanners and.....(breathes heavily) YES! YES! you *dragged it out of me*....I have a minor medical fetish...just a small thing....nothing really, nothing at all. (composes self) Yes, I do feel much better...YOU HAVE CURED ME! :bow: ahem. Must go watch "Silent Hill" Ahem.:shocked: 




fatlane said:


> This is why I love a trip to the doctor. O tempora! O mores! O nursing scrubs!


----------



## fatlane (Jul 16, 2007)

I enjoy inflatable pets, myself.


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## Obesus (Jul 17, 2007)

....quickly, very quickly, how about them pumpkin pies....mmmmmm...there was a bodacious punkin' pie just a settin' at work up in the staff office on the second floor today and...well, I took me a private booth for that slice o' pie! MMMMMMMMMMMMMM...bo-dacious! Coulda' used some _whipped_ cream but my resources were limited! 

http://www.zonicweb.net/badalbmcvrs/hallofsh.htm


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## fatlane (Jul 17, 2007)

Try sinking your teeth into one of these, then:


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## porkchop (Jul 17, 2007)

fatlane said:


> I enjoy inflatable pets, myself.



Oh Dear GOD! I prefer smaller sized dogs....lol 

View attachment me094.jpg


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## fatlane (Jul 17, 2007)

porkchop said:


> Oh Dear GOD! I prefer smaller sized dogs....lol








You're not the only one who likes smaller-sized dogs!

:evil:


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## porkchop (Jul 17, 2007)

fatlane said:


> You're not the only one who likes smaller-sized dogs!
> 
> :evil:


not exactly what I was thinking...lol


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## fatlane (Jul 17, 2007)

OH NOES I THOUGHT U WOULD LIEK TEH DOG!!!

Now I gotta find it a new home...


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## porkchop (Jul 17, 2007)

fatlane said:


> OH NOES I THOUGHT U WOULD LIEK TEH DOG!!!
> 
> Now I gotta find it a new home...



tell you what...you eat half of it first and let me know what YOU think...


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## Obesus (Jul 17, 2007)

But how about that Pan American Exposition of 1915? Anyone going to be going? I hear they have fabulous *PANCAKES!*:eat2:
PS....that is a cute little bear in the bottom corner with the lady...as our friend Lynnore puts it: "Bears are the new deers." 

View attachment PPIE_Postcard.jpg


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## porkchop (Jul 17, 2007)

pancakes you say...I am in line for some breakfast...


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## fatlane (Jul 17, 2007)

BREAKFAST! YUMMERS!


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## Timberwolf (Jul 17, 2007)

This breakfast actually breaks up the frame...


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## fatlane (Jul 17, 2007)

It's a big breakfast.


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## Obesus (Jul 18, 2007)

How ABOUT that Claude Shannon fellow; inventor of communications theory! Wild and Crazy guy without whom none of this electrons moving around in the Internet in purposeful ways forming communication stuff would exist! Lets' hear a goldarn shout out for good 'ol CLAUDE!

That Guy De Bord fellow is pretty nifty too! 

View attachment claude shannon.jpg


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## fatlane (Jul 18, 2007)

Yay him!

OK, kids, be good now... I have to go to Denton for a few days. Stay out of the pantry and, whatever you do, be nice to aliens!


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## porkchop (Jul 18, 2007)

oh God ...that looks perfect! Yep I would stand in line for that!:eat2:


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## porkchop (Jul 18, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Yay him!
> 
> OK, kids, be good now... I have to go to Denton for a few days. Stay out of the pantry and, whatever you do, be nice to aliens!



You want US to be good???? I was going to tell YOU to behave! Be good...stay out of trouble ...and DON"T talk to the Aliens!:shocked:


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## Buffie (Jul 19, 2007)

PorkChoppie, your doggie pic was tres sexy... and so sweet! Awww!!!

Anyone feel like whining about something? Anything? I'm in the mood to listen to a good whine.


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## porkchop (Jul 19, 2007)

Buffie said:


> PorkChoppie, your doggie pic was tres sexy... and so sweet! Awww!!!
> 
> Anyone feel like whining about something? Anything? I'm in the mood to listen to a good whine.



Thank you Miss Buffie!  kisses for you! He is absolutely adorable...:wubu: His name is Butterscotch. 

Hmmm...want me to wine about something....
Let's see.....I has been rainy and cloudy but damn hot for over a week now. It sucks...the only thing it has going for it is that I am not on holidays. If I was I would be REALLY whining...


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## fatlane (Jul 20, 2007)

I got whining for ya...

I ordered this set of DVDs from Hong Kong, thinking they were the complete works of Hiyao Miyazaki, the famed Japanese animator. I'm a huge fan of his, and I was really eager to get this full Studio Ghibli set... or so I thought... turns out the package I got JUST TODAY did not contain the DVD set I thought I purchased when I hit the "buy it now" button on eBay and transferred the PayPal monies to his account... nooooooo...

Stupid US postal service couldn't even spot the goofus, which makes me OH SO PROUD of our boys in blue stripes searching the mail for dangerous stuff. For, you see, the idiot in Hong Kong sent me his OPIUM STASH instead of a DVD set. Now, instead of some fun DVDs for the whole family, I've got several ounces of Yunnan Primo in my house and there's NO WAY I can move that on eBay legally. And I emailed the hoser and he's already sold the DVD set I thought I bought because he thought that when he saw it after sending me his stash that he somehow had another DVD set, which he promptly auctioned off, no doubt so as to raise funds in order to purchase more opium of which he was suddenly and unexpectedly low on for some unknown reason.

And now he wants me to send it back to him. He's willing to pay for shipping, but it doesn't really work that way, does it? Not when there is a person on this end who isn't totally zoned out on poppy juice.

Idiot. I hate dealing with stoners. They have no concept of my reality.


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## Obesus (Jul 20, 2007)

Possibly some pepper or a bit of sass? Well, Rocky here thinks Claude Shannon is just peachy keen and dandy!



fatlane said:


> Yay him!



View attachment 250px-RocketJSquirrel2.jpg


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## Obesus (Jul 20, 2007)

You must be froppin' mad! :shocked: 



fatlane said:


> I got whining for ya...
> 
> I ordered this set of DVDs from Hong Kong, thinking they were the complete works of Hiyao Miyazaki, the famed Japanese animator. I'm a huge fan of his, and I was really eager to get this full Studio Ghibli set... or so I thought... turns out the package I got JUST TODAY did not contain the DVD set I thought I purchased when I hit the "buy it now" button on eBay and transferred the PayPal monies to his account... nooooooo...
> 
> ...



View attachment Stang-thu.jpg


----------



## Wagimawr (Jul 20, 2007)

fatlane said:


> whining


You seem a little stressed, you should take something for that.


----------



## Jane (Jul 20, 2007)

fatlane said:


> I got whining for ya...
> 
> I ordered this set of DVDs from Hong Kong, thinking they were the complete works of Hiyao Miyazaki, the famed Japanese animator. I'm a huge fan of his, and I was really eager to get this full Studio Ghibli set... or so I thought... turns out the package I got JUST TODAY did not contain the DVD set I thought I purchased when I hit the "buy it now" button on eBay and transferred the PayPal monies to his account... nooooooo...
> 
> ...



I get angry EACH AND EVERY TIME that happens.


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## porkchop (Jul 20, 2007)

lol...ok fatguy wins the whinning contest...


----------



## Obesus (Jul 20, 2007)

Speak up there, youngster....I am mostly deaf and in my dotage! I would mostly say that this fellow here wins the whinnying contest! Don't you think so too? :bow: 



porkchop said:


> lol...ok fatguy wins the whinning contest...



View attachment 04412.jpg


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## Buffie (Jul 21, 2007)

FL, I hope you take this the right way, because you know I so effing dig you...

But with you, I can't tell if this actually happened to you or if it's something cooked up in your wonderfully wacky head. Either way, both situations are so very... appropos for you. =) 

Kind of like... I don't know... I just don't. 


You should make films.







fatlane said:


> I got whining for ya...
> 
> I ordered this set of DVDs from Hong Kong, thinking they were the complete works of Hiyao Miyazaki, the famed Japanese animator. I'm a huge fan of his, and I was really eager to get this full Studio Ghibli set... or so I thought... turns out the package I got JUST TODAY did not contain the DVD set I thought I purchased when I hit the "buy it now" button on eBay and transferred the PayPal monies to his account... nooooooo...
> 
> ...


----------



## porkchop (Jul 21, 2007)

I second, third and fourth what Buffie said!


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## Obesus (Jul 21, 2007)

I'M takin' the fifth on the whole thing!  I never, never, never open Master Fatlane's mail here at the Castle of Doom...well, not usually, except unless it comes with really pretty postage stamps from foreign countries!



porkchop said:


> I second, third and fourth what Buffie said!



View attachment stamp3a.jpg


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## Obesus (Jul 21, 2007)

Special films that strange looking men in trenchcoats take away from the lab when it is really really late at night...of course, they never involve the BUFFIETRONS! That would be wrong! :shocked: 



Buffie said:


> FL, I hope you take this the right way, because you know I so effing dig you...
> 
> But with you, I can't tell if this actually happened to you or if it's something cooked up in your wonderfully wacky head. Either way, both situations are so very... appropos for you. =)
> 
> ...



View attachment Men_In_Black_Agenta.jpg


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## fatlane (Jul 21, 2007)

Honestly, we could make some AWESOME B movies with the crew here! And I've already got the ideas, enthusiasm, and angora necessary to make it happen!


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## Obesus (Jul 21, 2007)

Where do I line up for the angora? Silky smoooooooooooth...:shocked: 




fatlane said:


> Honestly, we could make some AWESOME B movies with the crew here! And I've already got the ideas, enthusiasm, and angora necessary to make it happen!



View attachment make your own damn movie.jpg


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## fatlane (Jul 21, 2007)

Who needs instructions on how to make a movie? LET'S JUST DO IT!!!

SCENE ONE: A BAKERY

_Buffie and Porkchop are eating lots of food. They eat for 90 minutes straight and gain a bajilliondy pounds._

*FIN*


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## Obesus (Jul 21, 2007)

...Of Carl Gustav Jung done as a MUSICAL with a bajillion chorus girls! They could be fat too! 



fatlane said:


> Who needs instructions on how to make a movie? LET'S JUST DO IT!!!
> 
> SCENE ONE: A BAKERY
> 
> ...



View attachment Jung-MDR.jpg


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## fatlane (Jul 23, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ...Of Carl Gustav Jung done as a MUSICAL with a bajillion chorus girls! They could be fat too!



I'd have to write dialogue for that... I was hoping the profits from my first film could help support more ambitious ventures, like those with actual film in the camera.


----------



## Obesus (Jul 23, 2007)

Wink! Wink! Nod-nod, say no more, say no more! I am sure there must be some WWII vintage film laying around some abandoned quonset hut in AREA 51....maybe, if we ask very politely?  We could claim that we represent the Little Giant Vacuum Cleaner Company outta' Walla Walla, Washington!  



fatlane said:


> I'd have to write dialogue for that... I was hoping the profits from my first film could help support more ambitious ventures, like those with actual film in the camera.



View attachment 4sdf56a.jpg


----------



## Buffie (Jul 24, 2007)

Oh oh oh oh!!! Idea!

Let's make a night-vision sex tape and release it on the internet!

The role of Paris Hilton will be played by OB. FL and Porkchop will be Tommy and Pamela. Jane as Tonya Harding.

.... Uhhh... Wagimawr, Swamptoad and Timberwolf can fight over who will play Kid Rock, Colin Farrell and Fred Durst.


----------



## porkchop (Jul 24, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ...Of Carl Gustav Jung done as a MUSICAL with a bajillion chorus girls! They could be fat too!



Buffie...I think they think we are fat and like to eat....now where the hell would they get that idea from????   :eat1: :wubu:


----------



## porkchop (Jul 24, 2007)

Buffie said:


> Oh oh oh oh!!! Idea!
> 
> Let's make a night-vision sex tape and release it on the internet!
> 
> ...



Will I be Tommy or Pamela?:doh:


----------



## fatlane (Jul 24, 2007)

porkchop said:


> Will I be Tommy or Pamela?:doh:



The skinnier person should be Tommy. That would be me. Looks like you gotta dye your hair blond...


----------



## Obesus (Jul 24, 2007)

....a little wig-action here and there, bit of a girdle there and here....a few fast costume changes...like _really_ fast, but for a 315 pound dude, I move fast!  Whatcha think?  I already have the monk's robe and the Hellraiser T-shirt for the rocker dudes!  




fatlane said:


> The skinnier person should be Tommy. That would be me. Looks like you gotta dye your hair blond...



View attachment van_project_series[1]a.jpg


----------



## Obesus (Jul 24, 2007)

Uhhhhhh....around here? Ohhhhhhhhhhh! Light dawns! You and Miss B. are...omigosh....I better take a cold shower over here....el pronto!!!! :blush: 



porkchop said:


> Buffie...I think they think we are fat and like to eat....now where the hell would they get that idea from????   :eat1: :wubu:


----------



## Obesus (Jul 24, 2007)

Who might they be?  I remember something about Tonya Harding...wasn't she famous for waffles or something?   


Buffie said:


> Oh oh oh oh!!! Idea!
> 
> Let's make a night-vision sex tape and release it on the internet!
> 
> Paris Hilton, Tommy and Pamela, Tonya Harding, Kid Rock, Colin Farrell and Fred Durst.


----------



## fatlane (Jul 24, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ....a little wig-action here and there, bit of a girdle there and here....a few fast costume changes...like _really_ fast, but for a 315 pound dude, I move fast!  Whatcha think?  I already have the monk's robe and the Hellraiser T-shirt for the rocker dudes!



GOOD NEWS! I've already scouted out the location! It's out of this world! John Waters said he'd produce it, too! 

View attachment IMG_7008.JPG


----------



## Obesus (Jul 24, 2007)

Totally rockin' and kewlest kewler than kewl. You the Man! No, YOU the man! I mean YOU really the MAN! :bow: 



fatlane said:


> GOOD NEWS! I've already scouted out the location! It's out of this world! John Waters said he'd produce it, too!


----------



## fatlane (Jul 24, 2007)

The best part is that we get all the tacos Buffie can't eat!


----------



## Obesus (Jul 25, 2007)

That would be DIVINE! You still the MAN!



Obesus said:


> Totally rockin' and kewlest kewler than kewl. You the Man! No, YOU the man! I mean YOU really the MAN! :bow:



John Waters, big man in drag...ahhhhhhh....Obe very slow tonight...it is the oppressive heat of the fog in the SF hills! 

View attachment divine.jpg


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## Jane (Jul 25, 2007)

I see that my threats to kneecap people have left me type-cast.


----------



## fatlane (Jul 25, 2007)

Well, involvement in this film ought to change you from "typecast" to "torpedoed career" in a FLASH!


----------



## Obesus (Jul 26, 2007)

Got the pro-quality microphone...at least the sound will be wicked-good! Hey, isn't that how they talk in Massachusetts? I must be morphing! 

View attachment 501752.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Jul 26, 2007)

Yes, this is certainly wicked cool.

And I know a good key grip.


----------



## Obesus (Jul 27, 2007)

...that there is a German movie about the one woman I have ever had a crush on..Gudrun Ensslin, aka the brains of the Baader-Meinhof Gang, aka the Red Army Faction....of course, she died in Stammheim Prison in October 1977 so there is not much chance of a date, I suppose...big sigh....oh, I am feeling all sloppy and romantic this evening....maybe I should Deutscher "Amazon" yon filme.... 

View attachment gudrun.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Jul 27, 2007)

Get "Zucker Baby" while you're at it.


----------



## Jane (Jul 27, 2007)

Don't forget to include Miranda Richardson


----------



## Obesus (Jul 27, 2007)

Gosh that was depressing....but not as 296.32 as "The Marriage of Maria Braun"...., oh, this all got started because we have to list the languages that all of our staff speak on our County cultural competence report und Ich kann ein bisschen Deutsch! Dia Rit too! Well, now that I am becoming thoroughly morose, I might as add my Herzog/Kinski box set to the pile on top of the Fassbinders. 



fatlane said:


> Get "Zucker Baby" while you're at it.



View attachment fassbinder.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Jul 28, 2007)

I used to have a Herzog avatar... apparantly, I look like the guy...






_(Above: crazy hijinks on the set of *Cobra Verde* as Kinski tries to murder Herzog.)_


----------



## Obesus (Jul 28, 2007)

Dude, we all know you got da' cultural rep! Herzog? Natch! :bow: 




fatlane said:


> I used to have a Herzog avatar... apparantly, I look like the guy...
> 
> 
> 
> ...



View attachment BLIT0037.jpg


----------



## Obesus (Jul 28, 2007)

Klaus Kinski apparently hated acting and directors, but felt that "it beat cleaning toilets"......wow! That gives me hope! Saaaaaaaay....I am in a mood to watch me some "Nosferatu" 

View attachment klaus_kinskiaa.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Jul 30, 2007)

There's also a character based on Kinski in the Pixar release, _Ratatouille._


----------



## porkchop (Aug 1, 2007)

fatlane said:


> The skinnier person should be Tommy. That would be me. Looks like you gotta dye your hair blond...



hmmmm....will I be a believable blonde?


----------



## porkchop (Aug 1, 2007)

Obesus said:


> Uhhhhhh....around here? Ohhhhhhhhhhh! Light dawns! You and Miss B. are...omigosh....I better take a cold shower over here....el pronto!!!! :blush:



OH PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Like ya had no clue....:blink:


----------



## Obesus (Aug 1, 2007)

...sometimes I am confused and weak and sayyy....that is a new avatar there! Like, *rockin'!* Kewlest! Perkosity plus! Suddenly focused! Sometimes, I do have difficulty purchasing clues from the clue truck when it drives by....I sorta' suspected, but then I wasn't totally sure...there were reservations...mostly to Vegas, but I never kept them...what are we talking about here? Oh....well, sure, of course, I knew that! I was just bluffing because.....uhhhhhh.......ohhhhhh.....ummmmmm.....on accounta' because!  :wubu: 



porkchop said:


> OH PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Like ya had no clue....:blink:


----------



## porkchop (Aug 1, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ...sometimes I am confused and weak and sayyy....that is a new avatar there! Like, *rockin'!* Kewlest! Perkosity plus! Suddenly focused! Sometimes, I do have difficulty purchasing clues from the clue truck when it drives by....I sorta' suspected, but then I wasn't totally sure...there were reservations...mostly to Vegas, but I never kept them...what are we talking about here? Oh....well, sure, of course, I knew that! I was just bluffing because.....uhhhhhh.......ohhhhhh.....ummmmmm.....on accounta' because!  :wubu:



Age should not be used as an excuse.....just ask fatlane...


----------



## Obesus (Aug 1, 2007)

I do refer to FL as the "Master" since I am his minion, lackey and henchperson all combined (they are three separate job-functions, after all!) but I am actually his senior by many, many, many, many, many, many, many decades. Why, I was already old when little Moses was a cabin-boy on the Ark!  So, I think that I will switch my story and say that I was in a momentary state...yes, that's it, I was in a state....mostly California!  Sayyyy, that reminds me, I owe you a fine latte and some fudge-alicious treats...I need to talk to my fiscal people again and see if the crystal ball looks any brighter! I am hoping that the Vegas trip is still on for the minion, lackey and henchperson's international association annual to-do! Hoping you can make it! This year's presentation involves "What to do with the World once you have conquered it!"  



porkchop said:


> Age should not be used as an excuse.....just ask fatlane...



View attachment lackeys.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Aug 1, 2007)

Let's all go to Goa tomorrow for a trance party, what say?


----------



## Ned Sonntag (Aug 1, 2007)

Obesus said:


> I do refer to FL as the "Master" since I am his minion, lackey and henchperson all combined (they are three separate job-functions, after all!) but I am actually his senior by many, many, many, many, many, many, many decades. Why, I was already old when little Moses was a cabin-boy on the Ark!  So, I think that I will switch my story and say that I was in a momentary state...yes, that's it, I was in a state....mostly California!  Sayyyy, that reminds me, I owe you a fine latte and some fudge-alicious treats...I need to talk to my fiscal people again and see if the crystal ball looks any brighter! I am hoping that the Vegas trip is still on for the minion, lackey and henchperson's international association annual to-do! Hoping you can make it! This year's presentation involves "What to do with the World once you have conquered it!"


Dogsbody....


----------



## Obesus (Aug 2, 2007)

...this is also true, but there is more of a distinctly laboratory setting..I think that is why Master Fatlane's first priority is that my lab coats be professionally cleaned, creased, sharp and that the embroidery "Property of Fatlane Labs, a Transylvanian Nonprofit Corporation" be immaculately detailed!



Ned Sonntag said:


> Dogsbody....



View attachment step_5_final.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Aug 2, 2007)

For some reason, I feel compelled to post a poster of a film I have never seen, but have instead seen the Bollywood remake thereof:


----------



## Obesus (Aug 3, 2007)

...and raise you a Ramses Fuad....I just love that "Issshtar....Ishtaaar!" 

View attachment fet2.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Aug 3, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ...and raise you a Ramses Fuad....I just love that "Issshtar....Ishtaaar!"



I respond with "Battle Royale"


----------



## Obesus (Aug 3, 2007)

...which is hard to do, since the link was recalcitrant and I will re-raise you a 
Dagon, which may reflect the fact that I am on a frammoush tonight and need comforting!



fatlane said:


> I respond with "Battle Royale"



View attachment Battle_Royale_19a.jpg


View attachment dagonasdfs.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Aug 4, 2007)

Bring it, O-dad! The powers concentrated will mount to massive levels, ere we are done here!


----------



## Obesus (Aug 5, 2007)

...but my magickal invocations paid off...meet..."The Tripper"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:shocked: How could a movie about a homicidal maniac who thinks he is Ronald Reagan not be good?



fatlane said:


> The powers concentrated will mount to massive levels, ere we are done here![/QUOTE]
> 
> [ATTACH=full]24214[/ATTACH]


----------



## fatlane (Aug 5, 2007)

Wrestling Women vs. the Aztec Mummy

BONUS! Lots of Mexicans dressed up as Chinese Fu Manchu types!

And they're totally serious about the wrestling, too!


----------



## Obesus (Aug 5, 2007)

...is here! Night of the Chicken Dead! Humans...the other white meat! Bingo-ramaa!!! How could a movie set in a military theme style chicken restaurant called "The American Chicken Bunker." being built over sacred burial land run by a large southern man with a white suit and goatee NOT be good?  

View attachment thumb.jpg


----------



## Obesus (Aug 5, 2007)

The Devil's Own Chicken! 7'4*, 400 pounds of enraged poultry! Man, it's getting to be all about chicken retribution!



fatlane said:


> Wrestling Women vs. the Aztec Mummy
> 
> BONUS! Lots of Mexicans dressed up as Chinese Fu Manchu types!
> 
> And they're totally serious about the wrestling, too!



View attachment wrestler_06_04.jpg


View attachment wrestler_06_05.jpg


View attachment wrestler_06_01.jpg


----------



## porkchop (Aug 7, 2007)

focus people....:doh:


----------



## Obesus (Aug 7, 2007)

*YES!* That is the problem with boys...we tend to be easily distracted with Aztec mummies and giant chickens, whilst the women are left discussing Hegel, Hobbes and Locke in the den. Oooooooh, I don't know what hit me, but it must have been a sacred ancient curse...oooooh...I just LOVE ancient sacred curses....ACH! Yes, back to Buffie, Porkchop, M&M's and Friends! AHA!   :blush: Must needs more lattes.....and yummalicious chocolate thingies. (You note how I avoid the dreaded F.... word!):eat1: 




porkchop said:


> focus people....:doh:


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 7, 2007)

porkchop said:


> focus people....:doh:


Sorry, my focus is out of order...

Er... What did you say?


----------



## fatlane (Aug 7, 2007)

_Puberty Love_, anyone?


----------



## porkchop (Aug 8, 2007)

Obesus said:


> *YES!* That is the problem with boys...we tend to be easily distracted with Aztec mummies and giant chickens, whilst the women are left discussing Hegel, Hobbes and Locke in the den. Oooooooh, I don't know what hit me, but it must have been a sacred ancient curse...oooooh...I just LOVE ancient sacred curses....ACH! Yes, back to Buffie, Porkchop, M&M's and Friends! AHA!   :blush: Must needs more lattes.....and yummalicious chocolate thingies. (You note how I avoid the dreaded F.... word!):eat1:



I did take note of your avoidance tactic there...but I must point out that even the mention of your avoidance sets the tides for thoughts and affections....dammit!:eat2:


----------



## porkchop (Aug 8, 2007)

Timberwolf said:


> Sorry, my focus is out of order...
> 
> Er... What did you say?



well put an out of order sign on it then....I will send a technician...


----------



## porkchop (Aug 8, 2007)

fatlane said:


> _Puberty Love_, anyone?



Fatlane please don't tell me that you were once in love with giant evil tomatoes....?


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 8, 2007)

porkchop said:


> well put an out of order sign on it then....I will send a technician...


Too bad... No signs at hand... Technician was there, didn't find any fault...
But my focus still doran't wotk,,,


----------



## Obesus (Aug 8, 2007)

....for a good ol' Buffie, Fatlane, Porkchop, Obe, Timberwolf, Jane and friends cookout on the beach! How about it. gang? :smitten: :eat2: So, we'll all meet down at the end of Judah Street, where the N-streetcar stops? I will bring the tater salad! Yummers! Oh...bring electrically heated flight suits, since it is _freezing_ out there!  

View attachment ocean beach.jpg


----------



## Obesus (Aug 8, 2007)

Please to be allowing me to explain. "Puberty Love" is the big dynamic hit musical song from the movie "Killer Tomatoes." It is likely, though that the Master did have his moments during his exotic and exciting youth as a young Mad Scientist. However, it is highly unlikely that any of those moments involved tender regard towards this cousin of the Deadly Nightshade! (_Solanaceae Atropa Belladona_) Ahem!  



porkchop said:


> Fatlane please don't tell me that you were once in love with giant evil tomatoes....?



View attachment 1061lg.jpg


----------



## Obesus (Aug 8, 2007)

I have requested the operations department to have a look-see...we shall get to the root of this with a good Failure-Mode Effect Analysis!  




Timberwolf said:


> Too bad... No signs at hand... Technician was there, didn't find any fault...
> But my focus still doran't wotk,,,



View attachment amdim.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Aug 18, 2007)

This just in!

I've been out!

Now I'm in!

So everyone freak out...

_Suzy Creamcheese, honey, what's got into you?_


----------



## Obesus (Aug 18, 2007)

Oh, I was a gonna' post the obituary thread for our beloved thread, but the MASTER is back..the MAN is here and he reminds me of THE GTO'S!!!!!!! AHA!





fatlane said:


> This just in!
> 
> I've been out!
> 
> ...



View attachment gto_cd.jpg


View attachment gto.jpg


View attachment sgtos.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Aug 18, 2007)

It's like we're all family here...


----------



## porkchop (Aug 19, 2007)

Timberwolf said:


> Too bad... No signs at hand... Technician was there, didn't find any fault...
> But my focus still doran't wotk,,,



Damn...now I am out of ideas!


----------



## porkchop (Aug 19, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ....for a good ol' Buffie, Fatlane, Porkchop, Obe, Timberwolf, Jane and friends cookout on the beach! How about it. gang? :smitten: :eat2: So, we'll all meet down at the end of Judah Street, where the N-streetcar stops? I will bring the tater salad! Yummers! Oh...bring electrically heated flight suits, since it is _freezing_ out there!



ahhh Obi do we have to wear the suits??? Come on...think of an alternative....You know I don't fit too well into those..


----------



## Obesus (Aug 19, 2007)

You might try suggesting to our friend, Timberwolf, that he try frammbulating the interferambulator to the left this time and I bet it will work! 



porkchop said:


> Damn...now I am out of ideas!



View attachment full.jpg


----------



## Obesus (Aug 19, 2007)

and the fabulous Flo and Eddie! Pachaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang! :shocked: 



fatlane said:


> It's like we're all family here...



View attachment dweezil_zpz_amsterdam.jpg


View attachment 5Big_jun.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Aug 19, 2007)




----------



## Obesus (Aug 19, 2007)

Now I am all mellow and such and trippin' down the cobblestones, feelin' groooooooooooooooooovy! Thanks!  



fatlane said:


> Turtles



View attachment feelin.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Aug 20, 2007)

There's just something special about that late '60s photography...


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 20, 2007)

Obesus said:


> You might try suggesting to our friend, Timberwolf, that he try frammbulating the interferambulator to the left this time and I bet it will work!


Er... sorry, but there is no such thing...
mY focud srill fadse farst... :huh:







Aaaarrgghh! Can't concerntrate...


----------



## fatlane (Aug 20, 2007)

I think I found it... try this for your mashup madness and rep me as appropriate:

BEATALLICA






FREE MP3 downloads at http://www.sinister.com.au/_dloads/beatallica/garagedayz.php
http://www.sinister.com.au/_dloads/beatallica/beatallica.php

Dude.


----------



## Obesus (Aug 21, 2007)

Omnis Trekkicus Bandicus Pagicus! 

http://www.trekkies2.com/soundtrack_bands.php

I am liking thee Klingon Metal band "Stovokor"

"Beatallica" is just soooo wrong in sooooo many ways! Perfect! Brilliant! 

View attachment t2_bands_nki.jpg


View attachment t2_bands_stovokor.jpg


----------



## Obesus (Aug 21, 2007)

I meant to interferammbulate the interferometer AFTER dunking it in hot cocoa at a temperature of 100C.....with some marshmallows on top! Yummilicious! Might attract Porkchop and Buffie back too! 




Timberwolf said:


> Er... sorry, but there is no such thing...
> mY focud srill fadse farst... :huh:
> 
> 
> ...



View attachment interferambulator.jpg


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 21, 2007)

fatlane said:


> I think I found it... try this for your mashup madness and rep me as appropriate:
> 
> BEATALLICA
> 
> ...


Gotta spread some dudes around before I'm able to rep you again...

, dude!


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 21, 2007)

Obesus said:


> I meant to interferammbulate the interferometer AFTER dunking it in hot cocoa at a temperature of 100C.....with some marshmallows on top! Yummilicious! Might attract Porkchop and Buffie back too!


Great... now I just have to find a suitable interefereometer and a cup big enough to dunk the i. in it... :doh:


----------



## fatlane (Aug 21, 2007)

Perhaps they'll return if we show them the...


----------



## Obesus (Aug 22, 2007)

The CHEMISTRY of LOVE...lots of dopamine and serotonin! Norephinephrine too! Yummers! 

View attachment love-8.jpg


----------



## Obesus (Aug 22, 2007)

Company and cocoa distillery, outta' Walla Walla Washington...we can help you out with that!



Timberwolf said:


> Great... now I just have to find a suitable interefereometer and a cup big enough to dunk the i. in it... :doh:



View attachment wileycoyoted.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Aug 22, 2007)

What say we head down the Funway on my Kamakiri?


----------



## porkchop (Aug 23, 2007)

[/Lost me AGAIN!!!:doh: CENTER]​


----------



## Obesus (Aug 23, 2007)

You are at a Japanese heat-pipe convention! 

"The growth in popularity of heat pipes has had a profound effect on the CPU cooling market. Just about every company that wants to be competitive needs at least one model that takes advantage of heat pipe technology as consumers are creating a great demand for these. Coolers that utilize heat pipes are usually either very powerful, overclocking coolers or silent, sometimes even fanless, ones. 

The Kamakiri marks Scythe's first foray into fan-cooled, heat piped powered, CPU coolers. For some time Scythe has sold their fanless heatsink, the NCU-2000, which uses a modified heatpipe known as a "heatline". The Kamakiri is a major step away from this as it utilizes a high-flow 80mm fan but it can operate very quietly as well. If nothing else the Kamakiri is a interesting and ambitious exercise in design- let's see how it works out..."




fatlane said:


> What say we head down the Funway on my Kamakiri?



View attachment kamakiri_parts.jpg


----------



## Obesus (Aug 23, 2007)

The Master Fatlane is obviously embroiled himself in deep reflections on CPU heatsinks while he is abroad on one of his "secret" mission for THOSE people! I suggest that we simply be supportive, warm, empathic and validating. In other words, humor him while he is in this massive fugue state! Ahhhhh, how about some nice cocoa? :eat2: 



porkchop said:


> [/Lost me AGAIN!!!:doh:



View attachment hot-cocoa.jpg


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 23, 2007)

He is in a fungus state? :huh: ? :blink: ?  ?


----------



## Obesus (Aug 23, 2007)

That you should bring up the FUNGI FROM YUGGOTH, since it is they precisely whose beastly lusts the Master caters to....like drawings of fat babes and such! Who knew? :blush: 



Timberwolf said:


> He is in a fungus state? :huh: ? :blink: ?  ?



View attachment cochorns.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Aug 23, 2007)

I think we can have a Majestic time if we can just get Twelve of us together... we might just have the space, man.


----------



## Obesus (Aug 24, 2007)

Yeeeesssssssss...the number 12 resonates with your presentiments!!!



fatlane said:


> I think we can have a Majestic time if we can just get Twelve of us together... we might just have the space, man.



View attachment mi go 65adfs4a.jpg


----------



## Obesus (Aug 24, 2007)

We have truly entered THE TWILIGHT ZONE! For those who eschew the study of the Mystical Arts, "Majestic 12", or "Majic 12" was the codename for a secretive group of individuals called together after the supposed crash landing of a UFO at Roswell New Mexico in 1947 by President Harry Truman..their purpose: to investigate the true meaning of UFO activity over American Air Space...true? The Debate Rages on!!!!!!!!!
My question...do the aliens dig fat babes or not? I wanna' know, man! :bow: 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Majestic_12 

View attachment 524px-Majic6.jpg


View attachment majestic12.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Aug 24, 2007)

My guess is that the spacemen were looking for Rock and Roll. Plump earth women were just a happy, but accidental discovery for them.

Somebody hand me an oscilliscope. NOW.


----------



## Obesus (Aug 25, 2007)

Look, learn and listen! The secret to interstellar travel revealed...outer space cat-sonic waves! Behold the majesty! 



fatlane said:


> My guess is that the spacemen were looking for Rock and Roll. Plump earth women were just a happy, but accidental discovery for them.
> 
> Somebody hand me an oscilliscope. NOW.



View attachment space_arpa.jpg


----------



## porkchop (Aug 25, 2007)

Obesus said:


> The Master Fatlane is obviously embroiled himself in deep reflections on CPU heatsinks while he is abroad on one of his "secret" mission for THOSE people! I suggest that we simply be supportive, warm, empathic and validating. In other words, humor him while he is in this massive fugue state! Ahhhhh, how about some nice cocoa? :eat2:



Well if you give me some hot cocoa...I think all will be well....for now....he better come out of this soon though...I think I may need more marshmallows with this cocoa...


----------



## Obesus (Aug 25, 2007)

Involving marshmallows and PIRATE PEARLS! Could be a treasure! :eat1: 



porkchop said:


> Well if you give me some hot cocoa...I think all will be well....for now....he better come out of this soon though...I think I may need more marshmallows with this cocoa...



View attachment marshmallows.jpg


View attachment krp3.jpg


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## fatlane (Aug 25, 2007)

The chocolate from Jupiter has arrived.


----------



## Obesus (Aug 26, 2007)

...and that we had best clean the carpets and get the taco-stains off of the doilies and such! 

View attachment messy_cuisine_logo2a.jpg


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## fatlane (Aug 27, 2007)

Here's the taco filling... we just need to get a corn tortilla wrapped around it...


----------



## Timberwolf (Aug 27, 2007)

Maybe we should take the spit out of it, first...


----------



## Obesus (Aug 28, 2007)

...that you have a fabulously fantastic idea there! Maybe some oven mittens? Heat-proof, that is, I say! 



Timberwolf said:


> Maybe we should take the spit out of it, first...



View attachment coolskin_oven_gloves_sm_opt.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Aug 28, 2007)

Well, if anybody's spit on it, I say we order a new one.


----------



## Obesus (Aug 29, 2007)

Like, OCD time, fer sure!



fatlane said:


> Well, if anybody's spit on it, I say we order a new one.



View attachment 11561.jpg


----------



## fatlane (Aug 29, 2007)

Precisely.

Now, where was I?

_Earth?_ Or somewhere else?


----------



## Obesus (Aug 30, 2007)

You on New URTH, man! Like wild n' crazy, hazy, lazy place! :bow: 



fatlane said:


> Precisely.
> 
> Now, where was I?
> 
> _Earth?_ Or somewhere else?



View attachment TheUrthOfTheNewSun%281stEd%29.jpg


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## Buffie (Aug 30, 2007)

You're right, OB. I'm effin lost. Someone recite me some Cliff's Notes or something, k?


----------



## Obesus (Aug 31, 2007)

Here is exactly what happened. We were just rolling around the beloved thread and suddenly there was a break; an opening into another DIMENSION (get it? Har-har!) and there was *Rod Serling*...the rest is history! Say, it is just absolutely fantabulastic to have you back! We even cleared off the dinner tables and washed the doilies! :bow: :wubu: I think it is time we brought this show back to Earthiness with a good ol' pre-Autumn Taco fest! Eh?



Buffie said:


> You're right, OB. I'm effin lost. Someone recite me some Cliff's Notes or something, k?



View attachment separated.jpg


----------



## Buffie (Aug 31, 2007)

Twilight Zone... ahhh... Yeah. Sorry. Got distracted by the pic. Anyone ever tell you that you look like a shavey-headed version of the singer for okGo? I just now noticed that. But if you don't think so, I understand. Sometimes people do see it the same. 

I'm glad to be back but I admit I'm .................. exhausted. To the point I haven't been myself much. Proof? There's a taco in my fridge and it's been there for more than a couple of hours. It isn't that I don't want the taco, because I DO. But I am literally too sleepy to eat it tonight. 

Even my biorhythms today were funky and my death prediction said -
Buffie: At age 28 the artificial intelligence software you programmed becomes self aware and devours you. You will be saved to disk though, so no worries.

Nothing about tacos. At least I don't die from choking on cat hair.


----------



## Obesus (Sep 1, 2007)

...that the secret to interstellar travel lies in faster than light cat-sonic vibrations???? We are definitely glad to see you back, Buffie...Master Fatlane has been moping something fierce without you! :blush: 
Just a few Buffie-centric illustrations for your amusement!



Buffie said:


> Twilight Zone... ahhh... Yeah. Sorry. Got distracted by the pic. Anyone ever tell you that you look like a shavey-headed version of the singer for okGo? I just now noticed that. But if you don't think so, I understand. Sometimes people do see it the same.
> 
> I'm glad to be back but I admit I'm .................. exhausted. To the point I haven't been myself much. Proof? There's a taco in my fridge and it's been there for more than a couple of hours. It isn't that I don't want the taco, because I DO. But I am literally too sleepy to eat it tonight.
> 
> ...



View attachment space_arpa.jpg


View attachment swingin.jpg


View attachment bo5_wwdd_lg.jpg


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## Buffie (Sep 1, 2007)

It's a kitty on a keyboard! OHMG! Precious!

Where's FL? I want to give him hugs. No moping. No no.

Hugs for you, too, OB aka El Guapo! =)


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## Obesus (Sep 1, 2007)

Yes, the okGO thingy is there...but how about Nick Barker from Dimmu Borgir? I just need the shades and a few drum lessons! I can already twang and whack keys! The main thing is that I look like a rocker-dude, because I am! :bow: :shocked: 



Buffie said:


> Twilight Zone... ahhh... Yeah. Sorry. Got distracted by the pic. Anyone ever tell you that you look like a shavey-headed version of the singer for okGo?



View attachment NickBarker.jpg


View attachment OKGo1.jpg


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## Buffie (Sep 1, 2007)

I don't know Dimmu Borgir. That's not surprising, because I don't know anything that isn't on VH1. 

Yes, it is important that you look like the rock star we all know you are. Ahmen.


----------



## Obesus (Sep 2, 2007)

Ya know, out here in Frisco, we tend to be a tad _eccentric_, as a whole *CITY*! I am actually the normal, grounded, stable one in my group of friends so you can just imagine the rest! I don't consult on a daily basis with dead rock stars and I am not on disability for anything...although the Mental Health Clinic where I work is driving me slowly _crazy_....we do have our local faves, like "I Am Spoonbender" and the late lamented "Coachwhips" and I gave up many years ago trying to keep up with all the new bands just in this city alone. Many are the times that I think about the vast universe of rockers out there and I just despair because so much of it is so interesting and I will never hear it. Without used CD's from our friends at Amazon, I would be totally lost. Now, I am much favored of the Industrial and Doom Metal scenes, but every once in awhile someone suggests something of interest...Dimmu Borgir is a symphonic Black Metal band from Norway that I heard about from the Director of our Adolescent Program (Natch). They are sometimes similar to Cradle of Filth from England, but with a much deeper musical ability and sound...they rock! As you point out, the key thing with rockin' is to look like you rock and then to actually do it! Beards of biblical length are key and ZZTop are godlike in that respect! :bow:  :smitten: 



Buffie said:


> I don't know Dimmu Borgir. That's not surprising, because I don't know anything that isn't on VH1.
> 
> Yes, it is important that you look like the rock star we all know you are. Ahmen.



View attachment zztop.jpg


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## Timberwolf (Sep 2, 2007)

Some sharp dressed men, so to speak... 

(I wonder if they still wear cheap sunglasses...)


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## fatlane (Sep 3, 2007)

HEY! I am back! Once again! And I had no idea I'd left! 

I seem to be ending all my sentences with exclamation points! This is something new I seemed to have picked up! It's a bit annoying, too! I can't seem to shake the habit! It may be a psychological dependency! I wonder if Obesus can look it up in DSM-IV or whatever Roman numeral the DSM is on now!

Hey, Buffie! I still need your pixxor for your new avatar! Send it along ASAP! 

I just returned from visiting with an elderly relative! It was good to see her! I like respecting my elders and what-not!

Well, I can't say anything sad or downbeat with exclamation points everywhere! I CAN GET ***MAD***, HOWEVER! But I prefer to be happy!

... or _ironic!_


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## Obesus (Sep 4, 2007)

You have picked up a serious case of Exclamation Overperk Disorder (310.56) which is described in the DSM-IV-TR as "The inability to remain dour and overly sober when presented with the realities and contingencies of the World's most fun-est and wackiest forum thread, marked by gleeful and wild abandon and some dependence on strong coffee when typing ....etc. etc." I think you are just on a good perk!!! I use exclamation points all over the place, mostly on accounta' 'cause I am totally irrepressible and such and too perky for my own good!!! Aha!!!! Whoa!!! That is such fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!  :shocked: :shocked: Uhhhhh maybe that strong cup of coffee I am having might be having some slight effect there too...!
:shocked: There is hope...I am starting a 12-step group tomorrow...or maybe Saturday...


fatlane said:


> HEY! I am back! Once again! And I had no idea I'd left!
> 
> I seem to be ending all my sentences with exclamation points! This is something new I seemed to have picked up! It's a bit annoying, too! I can't seem to shake the habit! It may be a psychological dependency! I wonder if Obesus can look it up in DSM-IV or whatever Roman numeral the DSM is on now!
> 
> ...



View attachment perkier than hell.jpg


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## fatlane (Sep 4, 2007)

I'm already in a 12-step program for the ellipsis... I should join one for exclamation marks, as well!


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## Buffie (Sep 4, 2007)

fatlane said:


> HEY! I am back! Once again! And I had no idea I'd left!
> 
> I seem to be ending all my sentences with exclamation points! This is something new I seemed to have picked up! It's a bit annoying, too! I can't seem to shake the habit! It may be a psychological dependency! I wonder if Obesus can look it up in DSM-IV or whatever Roman numeral the DSM is on now!
> 
> ...



Emailing you now! =) 

As in RIGHT now.

This very moment.

Now.


----------



## fatlane (Sep 5, 2007)

Folks, I have *just* been emailed by Buffie. What this will lead to, WE DO NOT KNOW!


----------



## porkchop (Sep 5, 2007)

Let us know ..lol...


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## Buffie (Sep 5, 2007)

I sent him a poison email full of the absolutely most boring thing ever know to mankind!!!

He should be in a coma for at least 72 hours starting from the moment he reads it.

Whaaaa ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

So, Choppy, what's new with ya? Been shoe shopping lately?


----------



## Fatgirlfan (Sep 6, 2007)

Can I come in ? I brought a big cake. But It's only for the ladies.
Fatlane! I'm upset about the chemicals with those CH3 clusters.
I want everyone one to know that I saw the ghost of Elvis. He told me to dress like him for a whole year. I said : but Elvis, why for one year. He said not to agrue with a ghost, 'cause it just aint polite. So...........I'm dressing
like Elvis!!


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## Buffie (Sep 6, 2007)

Methinks you'll fit in well around here.


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## Fatgirlfan (Sep 6, 2007)

Oh I almost forgot! ALBATROS! DID ANYONE ORDER ALBATROS? now my voice is sore. I may have to keep my voice down. I'll go buy icecream.
Tell me your orders! I want to volunteer to the resident movie critic. Is the job open? Who cares I'll take it anyway.


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## Buffie (Sep 6, 2007)

Ohhh... movie critic! Critique away! I haven't seen anything recently, so tell us what we should avoid, please! =)


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## FreeThinker (Sep 6, 2007)

Fatgirlfan said:


> I want to volunteer to the resident movie critic.



So, what did you think of "Happy Birthday, Wanda June?"


----------



## fatlane (Sep 6, 2007)

Buffie's email was fantastic and entrancing: here is an excerpt:

"slept with a hillbilly"

There will be more excerpts later, so be sure to stay tuned.


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 6, 2007)

But... but... I... I don't have any tuna in the house...!?!


----------



## Buffie (Sep 6, 2007)

fatlane said:


> There will be more excerpts later, so be sure to stay tuned.



:doh:


You wouldn't dare!


----------



## fatlane (Sep 6, 2007)




----------



## fatlane (Sep 6, 2007)

Buffie said:


> :doh:
> 
> 
> You wouldn't dare!



OH BUT I WOULD! 

Here's another snippet:

"throw away the cheese"

More to come, so stick around everybody!


----------



## Buffie (Sep 6, 2007)

fatlane said:


> OH BUT I WOULD!
> 
> Here's another snippet:
> 
> ...



Ha! Jokes on YOU, FL. These people are clever. They *already know* I'm daft. No surprises today. Waah wahh...


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## fatlane (Sep 6, 2007)

Buffie said:


> Ha! Jokes on YOU, FL. These people are clever. They *already know* I'm daft. No surprises today. Waah wahh...



Then I'll quote you selectively... I'll be back in a minute with the selective selection...


----------



## Buffie (Sep 6, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Then I'll quote you selectively... I'll be back in a minute with the selective selection...



Ohkay, now I'm actually a little bit worried. :huh:


----------



## fatlane (Sep 6, 2007)

Buffie said:


> Ohkay, now I'm actually a little bit worried. :huh:



And well you should be!

_...I just wanted ... you ... everywhere baby... 
...I do ... -poke poke- ...you... Yes...
...you know what... to create ... next time...
...you ... really good bowl of soup...
_


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## fatlane (Sep 6, 2007)

That's all, folks, until Buffie sends me another email. To reveal any more would be ungentlemanly and unfair to the states of both Ohio and Kentucky for reasons I am not at liberty to discuss.

You'll just have to wonder about what's in between those mystical three dots...


----------



## Obesus (Sep 7, 2007)

...discovered on the floor of the Fatlane castle/manse/laboratory; cut out, ransom-note style: "Wendigo", "Yuggoth", "Y'golonac" and the exclamation. "Ia! Ia!." I will not mention that which may not be mentioned, for to mention it would be mentioning it! Oh, bother; AZATHOTH! Dammit. Now these may or may not have been from Miss B's now infamous email, but, apparently, our Miss B. has been hob-nobbing with the Cthulhu Cultists again...most likely discussing the niceties of running shoes, for when the Great Ancient Ones come a callin', the feet had best be movin' and fast! :bow: The Master's ever so faithful and confidential lab assistant, yours, truly and sincerely, Obe.



fatlane said:


> That's all, folks, until Buffie sends me another email. To reveal any more would be ungentlemanly and unfair to the states of both Ohio and Kentucky for reasons I am not at liberty to discuss.
> 
> You'll just have to wonder about what's in between those mystical three dots...



View attachment azasml.jpg


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## Buffie (Sep 7, 2007)

Ewww, Obesus! That picture looks like something my cat hacked up the other day.


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## Obesus (Sep 7, 2007)

...the offending cat-frammus has been magically replaced by a glowing rainbow-hewed whatchamathingit that is basically the same thing but neater! AHA!  Yes, I _*am*_ the designated Board Holy Man and Magickista'! AHA!



Buffie said:


> Ewww, Obesus! That picture looks like something my cat hacked up the other day.


----------



## fatlane (Sep 7, 2007)

Buffie sent another email to me. The word "naughty" was in the text. Needless to say, this is a good sign. Women never use the word "naughty" to be disapproving. They use words like "jerk", "scum", "bastard", and the such-like. "Naughty", on the other hand, is always nice.

More advice from my upcoming book, _How to not Enrage Women_, right after these messages.


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## porkchop (Sep 7, 2007)

Buffie said:


> I sent him a poison email full of the absolutely most boring thing ever know to mankind!!!
> 
> He should be in a coma for at least 72 hours starting from the moment he reads it.
> 
> ...



I HAVE bought some new shoes ...wearing them tomorrow night...cute little kitten heels///open back...black with sequins....adorable...and COMFORTABLE..believe it or not.

How are you doing little little one?


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## Fatgirlfan (Sep 7, 2007)

well, I did not expect to get the job! I need to see some movies,

I have seen "Knocked up " and " Death Sentence"

my Grades for each

Knocked up----------A-
Death Sentence------C+

Knocked Up -
My first impression was another sophmoric movie with predictable lame jokes that only high school students would like. Well parts are very sophmoric, but it was funny and smart. It has someone to hate-the anorexic co-worker. She is fat-phobic and baby phobic. You also get a first hand look at the plastic and look -obsessed word of t.v. news.


Death Sentence-
I wanted to see this because unlike most movie out now, it looked like a movie that wasn't aimed at kids and high school students. I also like Kevin Bacon. You know there was a rumor that everyone is seven degrees removed from Kevin Bacon. Well the movie is a revenge oriented with plenty of violence and gore to go around. Kevin Bacon kicks ass though! His character is satisfying to watch. You may catch yourself scoffing at some of the plot, some parts just make you go "hmmmmmmmm". But take a deep breath and enjoy the ride. High intensity movie fans won't be disapointed.


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## Fatgirlfan (Sep 7, 2007)

Did everone like the cake. But everyone I mean the ladies.


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## fatlane (Sep 8, 2007)

MOVIE REVIEWER!

You need to also discuss the movies' relevance to Chimpanzees. Apparantly, this show is a huge hit in monkey houses across the nation, and the producers want us to appeal more to our simian numbers. We've already got a sponsorship from Chiquita because of our ape ratings. Next week, Lancelot Link will be our guest...


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## porkchop (Sep 8, 2007)

Fatgirlfan said:


> Did everone like the cake. But everyone I mean the ladies.



The cake was most excellent! thank you oh so much for thinking of us girls!


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## Obesus (Sep 8, 2007)

"MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!"

Deepest apologies to Richard Harris....
 Say, this song is positively SURREALIST!
That was the great era of Surrealist-Pop, along with Jonathan King's "Everyone's Gone to the Moon"
Inexplicable and inscrutable.... 

View attachment cake-lg.jpg


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## Obesus (Sep 8, 2007)

Then there is always the greatest movie ever made and one that you absolutely positively want to be doing a massive heroin cold-turkey detox while watching! The greatest movies always either star professional wrestlers or are made by Werner Herzog! 



fatlane said:


> MOVIE REVIEWER!
> 
> You need to also discuss the movies' relevance to Chimpanzees. Apparantly, this show is a huge hit in monkey houses across the nation, and the producers want us to appeal more to our simian numbers. We've already got a sponsorship from Chiquita because of our ape ratings. Next week, Lancelot Link will be our guest...



View attachment hell.jpg


View attachment return%20to%20frogtown.jpg


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## fatlane (Sep 9, 2007)

Indeed.

Below is a link to the infamous "Bubblegum" speech as done by Mr. Piper hisself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wp_K8prLfso


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## Obesus (Sep 10, 2007)

As I read this very post, I am wearing Fright Rag's famous "They Live" "OBEY" T-Shirt...from the very same movie as what you just You-tubed linked us to! I am impressed! :bow: 




fatlane said:


> Indeed.
> 
> Below is a link to the infamous "Bubblegum" speech as done by Mr. Piper hisself:
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wp_K8prLfso



View attachment obey.jpg


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## fatlane (Sep 13, 2007)

... I need to log out for a while due ot financial reasons.

IE, I need to work a second job for a while.


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## Obesus (Sep 13, 2007)

I am feelin' your pain there....if I wasn't takin' me a three day break from the 60 hour weeks, I would be all a breakin' down in tears for ya'....and such! Hope it is not too traumatic! Llamas, AWAY!



fatlane said:


> ... I need to log out for a while due ot financial reasons.
> 
> IE, I need to work a second job for a while.



View attachment llama2.jpg


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## Timberwolf (Sep 14, 2007)

What about a Cama?


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## Obesus (Sep 14, 2007)

My brother, I am thinking more of a Rama, or maybe a Rama-lama ding-dong!



Timberwolf said:


> What about a Cama?



View attachment rama.jpg


View attachment d768233js01.jpg


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## Buffie (Sep 16, 2007)

Time for the "OR" game, OB. You have to pick one of the two and you have to tell why.

Stevie Ray Vaughn -OR- BB King?


----------



## Obesus (Sep 16, 2007)

*B.B.King *on accounta cause I just saw his picture in a magazine and I saw him live one time in 1966 and he was awesome-est! Also his name ends in the Royal word, "King" and begins with the Buffie letter, "B", not just once, but twice! Did I win an opportunity for tea snack luncheon with Miss Buffie or a Catamaran or anything? I think my answer was just right! :smitten: 



Buffie said:


> Time for the "OR" game, OB. You have to pick one of the two and you have to tell why.
> 
> Stevie Ray Vaughn -OR- BB King?


----------



## Buffie (Sep 16, 2007)

Obesus said:


> *B.B.King *on accounta cause I just saw his picture in a magazine and I saw him live one time in 1966 and he was awesome-est! Also his name ends in the Royal word, "King" and begins with the Buffie letter, "B", not just once, but twice! Did I win an opportunity for tea snack luncheon with Miss Buffie or a Catamaran or anything? I think my answer was just right! :smitten:



Tea on a catamaran? I'm so there.

Ohkay...

Modern Marvels -OR- How Its Made?


----------



## porkchop (Sep 16, 2007)

the big question is....will it be the same without FL?


----------



## Buffie (Sep 17, 2007)

porkchop said:


> the big question is....will it be the same without FL?



He's leaving? For how long? 

He's not leaving! Is he? Are you sure? I mean, I'm sure you're sure, but what? Where is he going?

Second job. That sucks. And I can say that because I have a second job, too. (And a third, but I'm not in the mood to talk about it and I wouldn't have this problem if cute shoes and fast cars weren't so $%^&* expensive.)


:huh: 

You're not leaving, right PorkChippy?


----------



## Obesus (Sep 17, 2007)

...as a 60 hour a week personage, I too am feeling the suffering...soon I will be adding the online MBA thingy on top of it all like a pile of marzipan icing on a hamburger....yick and yuck....but I gotta' do this thing because San Francisco is EXPENSIVE, just to breathe in...and I am taking care of the Mama and my ex-wife, so it is a lot...I wish you and FL much rest in the meager spaces you may call your own...sigh! (strains of cameraderie type music..."Lilly Marlene" and such...) 
PS...I can't answer your last "or" question, because I do not watch the TV except for strange foreign DVD films....ooooh I just bought David Cronenberg's two student films: "Stereo" and "Crimes of the Future" from AmazonUK...they are not so easily available in the US...oooooh...now I have to get that multi-region DVD player....ach! It is a racket, I tell 'ya! :shocked: 



Buffie said:


> He's leaving? For how long?
> 
> He's not leaving! Is he? Are you sure? I mean, I'm sure you're sure, but what? Where is he going?
> 
> ...


----------



## porkchop (Sep 17, 2007)

Buffie said:


> He's leaving? For how long?
> 
> He's not leaving! Is he? Are you sure? I mean, I'm sure you're sure, but what? Where is he going?
> 
> ...



FL has to spend more time away from us..sigh....so sad....but we will keep everything running as it should be until he comes back.

And Mr. Obi...don't even think of going off in the great blue yonder ....we will only let one go...that is all...you have to stay because the Ms. Buffsterette and I have our magical webs surrounding you!! 

I am going no where...lol Don't you worry lifttle Buffster....


----------



## porkchop (Sep 17, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ...as a 60 hour a week personage, I too am feeling the suffering...soon I will be adding the online MBA thingy on top of it all like a pile of marzipan icing on a hamburger....yick and yuck....but I gotta' do this thing because San Francisco is EXPENSIVE, just to breathe in...and I am taking care of the Mama and my ex-wife, so it is a lot...I wish you and FL much rest in the meager spaces you may call your own...sigh! (strains of cameraderie type music..."Lilly Marlene" and such...)
> PS...I can't answer your last "or" question, because I do not watch the TV except for strange foreign DVD films....ooooh I just bought David Cronenberg's two student films: "Stereo" and "Crimes of the Future" from AmazonUK...they are not so easily available in the US...oooooh...now I have to get that multi-region DVD player....ach! It is a racket, I tell 'ya! :shocked:



If you read this post again...I think you may find why you are feeling that san Fran is expensive to live in....lol....it may be cheaper to stick to tv....


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 20, 2007)

porkchop said:


> If you read this post again...I think you may find why you are feeling that san Fran is expensive to live in....lol....it may be cheaper to stick to tv....


Well... allow me to disagree...


----------



## porkchop (Sep 20, 2007)

Timberwolf said:


> Well... allow me to disagree...



Disagree with what specifically???


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 21, 2007)

Er... well... I wish I still knew...


----------



## porkchop (Sep 22, 2007)

Timberwolf said:


> Er... well... I wish I still knew...



Does anyone know what is going on? I just knew we would be non functioning without FL.........:doh:


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 22, 2007)

Say, where is Obe-Wan?


----------



## porkchop (Sep 22, 2007)

Timberwolf said:


> Say, where is Obe-Wan?



Oh dear God...He is missing too???? We are doomed ...doomed I say...


----------



## Timberwolf (Sep 23, 2007)

Is doomsday, already?


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## Obesus (Sep 24, 2007)

I regret to say that I am taking a break from taking a break from leaving this thread in utter despair...the Master FL was, truly, like a guiding light to us, but now he is gone and my emotions, although quivery, are gradually coming back to their senses...and saaaaaaaaaaaaaaay....what's for dinner? Porkchop, Buffie, somehow without the FL's awesomal "shine" pervading the whole dang thread, you suddenly stand out in perspective and whoa doggies...hey! You're both *girls!* Barely noticed that! Timberwolf, as always, you are the very voice of reason and a fine personnage to play bouncy ball with here! HEY, this could be FUN! Yahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooey! Whiz-bangers! Bring on the party hats and noisemakers! Wahooooey! We're obviously in deep trouble here, but it is fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where's the CLOWN emoticons? 



porkchop said:


> FL has to spend more time away from us..sigh....so sad....but we will keep everything running as it should be until he comes back.
> 
> And Mr. Obi...don't even think of going off in the great blue yonder ....we will only let one go...that is all...you have to stay because the Ms. Buffsterette and I have our magical webs surrounding you!!
> 
> I am going no where...lol Don't you worry lifttle Buffster....



View attachment Our_Fearless_Leader_with_the_trek_in_the_background[1]a.jpg


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## Obesus (Sep 24, 2007)

:eat2: ...as always, you are the very voice of reason, but San Francisco has a peculiar history in the arts and after all, I am an artiste in a City of artistes! We must always seek out the most recondite; the most obscure, the most tangential and obscurantist materials possible...why, this is a City of little quaint videostores where you can actually find the early films of Marcel Duchamp and Man Ray on VIDEO! Damn! So, the question of actually watching TV..well, besides all of that, there are the Government Alien Mind Control rays to consider, which videocasettes and DVD's do not emit as strongly, as we all know! But, infinite thanks for the suggestion. Say, we are having the Kenneth Anger/Charlie Chaplin film festival in November in my fabulous front room with a few of the gang...you could send a proxy!  Free Cappucinos! :eat1: :eat2: 



porkchop said:


> If you read this post again...I think you may find why you are feeling that san Fran is expensive to live in....lol....it may be cheaper to stick to tv....



View attachment seagullcover2.jpg


----------



## Obesus (Sep 24, 2007)

I am feelin' ya', dude! I know where you're comin' from and I support you two thousand percent! What were we talking about? Oh! TV...well, sure, that stuff will rot your brain out...but....OLD TV shows on DVD...that is a whole different matter..."Kids in the Hall", "Millenium", "Twin Peaks", "The X-Files", "Poltergeist, the Legacy".......oh yeah! Lovin' it! Like I said, you are just about a _brother_ to me! I'm gettin' all misty here...group hug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  



Timberwolf said:


> Well... allow me to disagree...


----------



## Obesus (Sep 24, 2007)

This is comrade Timberwolf's way of expressing the deeply troubling and perplexing problems of modern life in a world that we never created and that has been forced upon us by lackeys of dark and hostile alien forces!!!!!!!! Yes! Monty Python....THEY are the ones who actually covertly rule the World! AHA! Thought I wouldn't figure it out? Well, I did! It was the bit about the Spanish Inguisition!!!! YES!   



porkchop said:


> Disagree with what specifically???



View attachment post-7-71517-Monty_Python_Spanish_Inquisition.jpg


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## Obesus (Sep 24, 2007)

It had something to do with those damned Martian flying saucers that keep hovering around so annoyingly...you know, the ones with the little green me in them...bothersome, really!:shocked: 



Timberwolf said:


> Er... well... I wish I still knew...



View attachment mars02.gif


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## Obesus (Sep 24, 2007)

Yes! The posting has taken on its' usual droning, nasal, quality and I am slipping into a deep sleep......oooooooooh......Miss Porkchop.....your eyelids are getting heavy...the ticking of the watch is slowing downnnnnnnn and...SAY! The thread is back to normal! Kewl!



porkchop said:


> Does anyone know what is going on? I just knew we would be non functioning without FL.........:doh:



View attachment Rod.gif


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## Obesus (Sep 24, 2007)

I am, indeed and profoundly HERE!, but where is _here_, after all..........well......I am HERE! Yes! That settles it! Yay!



Timberwolf said:


> Say, where is Obe-Wan?



View attachment auto-circle.jpg


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## Obesus (Sep 24, 2007)

....as long as there is an M&M (TM) candy bar or a "Lil Debbie" (TM) snack cake to be had on this planet and as a long as there is a funcional espresso machine, I will stand by your side to carry on the proud tradition of this amazingly humongous soon to be 2,000 posts thread! YES! Say, I owe you a latte', don't I? :wubu: 




porkchop said:


> Oh dear God...He is missing too???? We are doomed ...doomed I say...


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## Obesus (Sep 24, 2007)

...if I may be forgiven for slipping into the familiar case, here, I must say that it is not Doomsday on this planet in this universe at this time, although there is an infinity of possible Earths where that may be the case...until then, we gonna' PARTY like it's 1999! :eat1:  :bow: 



Timberwolf said:


> Is doomsday, already?



View attachment 7520a.jpg


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## Timberwolf (Sep 24, 2007)

Whew... 
OK. Obe-Wan is there, wherever that may be, I'm here, somewhere between the Dimensions', but... where is the party?


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## Buffie (Sep 24, 2007)

Do you guys ever wonder why Pam Anderson likes boys who look like they need baths? She looks like she showers regularly. Why does she like dirty boys? That's gross.


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## Timberwolf (Sep 24, 2007)

Y'know... my interest in things related to Pam Anderson is about as big as a scrap of paper...


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## swamptoad (Sep 24, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ...if I may be forgiven for slipping into the familiar case, here, I must say that it is not Doomsday on this planet in this universe at this time, although there is an infinity of possible Earths where that may be the case...until then, we gonna' PARTY like it's 1999! :eat1:  :bow:



Can we party to The Residents version or must it be Prince's version of 1999?


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## Timberwolf (Sep 24, 2007)

A very important question!


(Though I still don't know where the party should be... :huh


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## Obesus (Sep 26, 2007)

Natch-ola!




swamptoad said:


> Can we party to The Residents version or must it be Prince's version of 1999?



View attachment rebb.jpg


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## Obesus (Sep 26, 2007)

Like, where else could we have such a party? We fat-folk and fat-supporting folk will show them all how to boogie down! Maybe change a few minds, open a few new attitudes! Damn!



Timberwolf said:


> A very important question!
> 
> 
> (Though I still don't know where the party should be... :huh



View attachment lazytown.jpg


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## Timberwolf (Sep 26, 2007)

Interesting concept...


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## porkchop (Sep 27, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ....as long as there is an M&M (TM) candy bar or a "Lil Debbie" (TM) snack cake to be had on this planet and as a long as there is a funcional espresso machine, I will stand by your side to carry on the proud tradition of this amazingly humongous soon to be 2,000 posts thread! YES! Say, I owe you a latte', don't I? :wubu:



ahhh...you remembered.....I am wiltng away...I have not had my quota of lattes recently.....I must remedy this......


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## Obesus (Sep 28, 2007)

....you know that deep within my very soul is the burning, longing, desperate desire to Fed-Ex you a lovely latte from the Muddy Waters coffee house on Valencia street, here in Frisco....I am just afraid that they might mess it up a bit before it got to you over there...my people are talking to the Fed Ex folks about a magnetic containment system...I mean these lattes rock! :eat2: :smitten: 




porkchop said:


> ahhh...you remembered.....I am wiltng away...I have not had my quota of lattes recently.....I must remedy this......



View attachment cyclotron-artist-view.jpg


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## fatlane (Sep 28, 2007)

Almost done with the big job... I'll need to draw after this... and I owe Buffie an avatar, don't I?


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## Obesus (Sep 29, 2007)

Felicitations, cat! It is like, straight outta' the fridge to see you again, man! Strictly hip-city! Wild, Daddy-o, like, wild!  

View attachment beatniks.jpg


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## fatlane (Sep 29, 2007)

Just a few more bombing runs, and I'll have my 20 mission crush completed. 

View attachment flobomber.jpg


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## Obesus (Sep 29, 2007)

Crushing....YES! Crushing! I'm crushing your head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 



fatlane said:


> Just a few more bombing runs, and I'll have my 20 mission crush completed.



View attachment 5b75cba84048dd83b5699a926da95aaa.jpg


View attachment CrushYourHead.jpg


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## fatlane (Sep 29, 2007)

I will ignore that comment. You will NOT crush my head, and that is a command.

Obey.


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## Obesus (Sep 29, 2007)

I seeeee youuuuuuuuu haaaave beeeeeen studying hypnossssssissss...... 

View attachment hypnotic_M.jpg


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## fatlane (Sep 30, 2007)

No, I've been studying the Civil War and the impact it had on late 19th Century men's hairstyles... imagine what would have happened had Burnside sported THIS style: 

View attachment burnside.jpg


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## Obesus (Sep 30, 2007)

...and what happens is that Bootsy Collins suddenly appears out of nowhere in the year 1958 and creates interstellar HAVOC!




fatlane said:


> No, I've been studying the Civil War and the impact it had on late 19th Century men's hairstyles... imagine what would have happened had Burnside sported THIS style:



View attachment 142bootsy_2.jpg


View attachment dayaftertomorrow8.jpg


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## Jack Skellington (Sep 30, 2007)

Obesus said:


> although there is an infinity of possible Earths



Seriously? I heard there is actually only like a around half a dozen or so. Infinite, wow, that's like kinda freaky.


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## Obesus (Sep 30, 2007)

Based on Hugh Everett's 1957 "Many Worlds" interpretation of Quantum Physics...it is definitely freaky, but it is still kicking in theoretical physics as one of the "decoherence" explanations of quantum paradox...one that doesn't require quantum wavefunction collapse, which is problematic! 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Many-worlds_interpretation




Jack Skellington said:


> Seriously? I heard there is actually only like a around half a dozen or so. Infinite, wow, that's like kinda freaky.



View attachment quantum-image.jpg


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## fatlane (Sep 30, 2007)

Which means somewhere, somehow, John C. Calhoun was a boxing promoter: 

View attachment calhoun.jpg


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## porkchop (Sep 30, 2007)

so FL is almsot back with us....yes! I am realizing that suddenly...he may be the source of my constant confusion on here....sigh....well we must put up with the bad to get the good.

Yes...Obi...I will definitely keep praying for a way to fed ex me a latte......I know it will happen one day!


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## Buffie (Sep 30, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Almost done with the big job... I'll need to draw after this... and I owe Buffie an avatar, don't I?



You don't owe me anything, FL! Except a kidney, should I need it later. And maybe a cornea because I almost lost an eye during a mascara mishap the other day. 

Know something? You all talk so effing far over my head. Seriously. I have to Google and Wiki most of the stuff you guys post. Maybe it's a good thing because it forces me to enrich my vocabulary. But reading technical manuals isn't exactly something Buffies do of their own volition.

How do you know all this stuff? Didn't you have ANY brain rot toys as children??? No? I'm not judging. Just wonderin.


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## Obesus (Sep 30, 2007)

Famous Monsters of Filmland, cheesy sci-fi, Fantastic 4 comics, the Marquis De Sade, Aurora Wolfman models...the usual!  _I luv da woofases...they vewy vewy good! _ Of course, I was only 9 or 10!:batting: Oh, and of course, I was a Roman Catholic altar boy, so there went my whole life straight down the drain, with all that Latin and thuggery...



Buffie said:


> You don't owe me anything, FL! Except a kidney, should I need it later. And maybe a cornea because I almost lost an eye during a mascara mishap the other day.
> 
> Know something? You all talk so effing far over my head. Seriously. I have to Google and Wiki most of the stuff you guys post. Maybe it's a good thing because it forces me to enrich my vocabulary. But reading technical manuals isn't exactly something Buffies do of their own volition.
> 
> How do you know all this stuff? Didn't you have ANY brain rot toys as children??? No? I'm not judging. Just wonderin.



View attachment wolfaurora1lg.jpg


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## porkchop (Oct 1, 2007)

Don't try and fool me Obeseus.....lol.....you? a good catholic alter boy? hmmmm...do we have any proof of this?


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## porkchop (Oct 1, 2007)

Don't worry Buffie...I had piles of barbies and dolls...all with no need of huge stimulation of the brain....also...a little pacman machine and atari....my brain is part mush ......if ya want a non multi brain cell conversation you just come to me..


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## fatlane (Oct 1, 2007)

Mostly comics and cheesy movies, yeah. Obesus and I independently discovered the same set of films, literature, and music that falls into the category of "off-beat". So... maybe we should discuss on-beat things for a while?

I LIKE DRUMS


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## porkchop (Oct 2, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Mostly comics and cheesy movies, yeah. Obesus and I independently discovered the same set of films, literature, and music that falls into the category of "off-beat". So... maybe we should discuss on-beat things for a while?
> 
> I LIKE DRUMS



lol...drums? that is how you are drawing Buff and I into the conversation...? You need to talk to woman a little more...to practise your technique!!!:doh:


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## Obesus (Oct 3, 2007)

Confíteor Deo omnipoténti, beátæ Maríæ semper Vírgini, beáto Michaéli Archángelo, beáto Joanni Baptístæ, sanctis Apóstolis Petro et Paulo, ómnibus Sanctis, et vobis, fratres (tibi, Pater), quia peccávi nimis cogitatióne, verbo et ópere: mea culpa, mea culpa, mea máxima culpa. Ideo precor beátam Maríam semper Vírginem, beátum Michaélem Archángelum, beátum Joánnem Baptístam, sanctos Apóstolos Petrum et Paulum, omnes Sanctos, et vos, fratres (te, Pater), oráre pro me ad Dóminum Deum nostrum

Kevin and I were the LAST two altar boys trained to do the old Tridentine Mass...as a matter of fact, the first time we said mass together, the priest came out right before and said; "Boys, the Mass is going to be in English today and I want you to reverse everything you learned as far as moving around the altar, because we will be facing the faithful today." i.e., the effects of Vatican II were immediate and disconcerting for folks raised in the old Church! Oh...and my other great story....I was 18 and me mum had been working for the church for many years, so I was hanging around the rectory one day and a priest comes over to me, introduces himself and suddenly asks me if I have a girlfriend, I says: "Well, gosh no, father!" He says: "Good! Now, has anyone talked to you about the Jesuit Seminary down in Cupertino?" I came THAT close to being a Jesuit! Holy crap! :bow: I am glad that today I am merely a Fat Holy Man...wow, that was close!



porkchop said:


> Don't try and fool me Obeseus.....lol.....you? a good catholic alter boy? hmmmm...do we have any proof of this?



View attachment opusdei9348.jpg


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## Obesus (Oct 3, 2007)

...with his secret James-Bond type spy activities around the World! I am sure that he is just a stunner with the women when he is not involved in his experiments and secret work! But, say, while you are waiting for his return, how about we talk about kittens, romantic pirate stories, lattes' and anything but fudge? :doh: 



porkchop said:


> lol...drums? that is how you are drawing Buff and I into the conversation...? You need to talk to woman a little more...to practise your technique!!!:doh:



View attachment B000FIKU7K_01_LZZZZZZZ.jpg


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## porkchop (Oct 3, 2007)

Obesus said:


> :eat2: ...as always, you are the very voice of reason, but San Francisco has a peculiar history in the arts and after all, I am an artiste in a City of artistes! We must always seek out the most recondite; the most obscure, the most tangential and obscurantist materials possible...why, this is a City of little quaint videostores where you can actually find the early films of Marcel Duchamp and Man Ray on VIDEO! Damn! So, the question of actually watching TV..well, besides all of that, there are the Government Alien Mind Control rays to consider, which videocasettes and DVD's do not emit as strongly, as we all know! But, infinite thanks for the suggestion. Say, we are having the Kenneth Anger/Charlie Chaplin film festival in November in my fabulous front room with a few of the gang...you could send a proxy!  Free Cappucinos! :eat1: :eat2:



Free Cappacino's ? Screw the proxy...lol I am THERE!


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## porkchop (Oct 3, 2007)

Obesus said:


> Confíteor Deo omnipoténti, beátæ Maríæ semper Vírgini, beáto Michaéli Archángelo, beáto Joanni Baptístæ, sanctis Apóstolis Petro et Paulo, ómnibus Sanctis, et vobis, fratres (tibi, Pater), quia peccávi nimis cogitatióne, verbo et ópere: mea culpa, mea culpa, mea máxima culpa. Ideo precor beátam Maríam semper Vírginem, beátum Michaélem Archángelum, beátum Joánnem Baptístam, sanctos Apóstolos Petrum et Paulum, omnes Sanctos, et vos, fratres (te, Pater), oráre pro me ad Dóminum Deum nostrum
> 
> Kevin and I were the LAST two altar boys trained to do the old Tridentine Mass...as a matter of fact, the first time we said mass together, the priest came out right before and said; "Boys, the Mass is going to be in English today and I want you to reverse everything you learned as far as moving around the altar, because we will be facing the faithful today." i.e., the effects of Vatican II were immediate and disconcerting for folks raised in the old Church! Oh...and my other great story....I was 18 and me mum had been working for the church for many years, so I was hanging around the rectory one day and a priest comes over to me, introduces himself and suddenly asks me if I have a girlfriend, I says: "Well, gosh no, father!" He says: "Good! Now, has anyone talked to you about the Jesuit Seminary down in Cupertino?" I came THAT close to being a Jesuit! Holy crap! :bow: I am glad that today I am merely a Fat Holy Man...wow, that was close!


Sooooo...you can transcribe some latin onto the screen...still not actual proof......


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## porkchop (Oct 3, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ...with his secret James-Bond type spy activities around the World! I am sure that he is just a stunner with the women when he is not involved in his experiments and secret work! But, say, while you are waiting for his return, how about we talk about kittens, romantic pirate stories, lattes' and anything but fudge? :doh:



Kittens, romantic pirate movies, lattes and what was that aobut fudge? :smitten: lol Now you've done it....yep....we are in big trouble Buff.....wea re talking about Fudge....yep...fudge.....What flavours fo fudge?


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## Obesus (Oct 3, 2007)

....would consciously and willfully go around dressed in an approximation of the Mighty TORQUEMADA...founder of *THE SPANISH INQUISITION*!?????????
Hmmmmmmm? I rest my case. To further my case, I am going to shout: FUDGE, FUDGE, FUDGE! Muahahahahahahah! Torture! AHA!




porkchop said:


> Sooooo...you can transcribe some latin onto the screen...still not actual proof......



View attachment Toprquemada.jpg


View attachment post-7-71517-Monty_Python_Spanish_Inquisition.jpg


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## porkchop (Oct 3, 2007)

Obesus said:


> ....would consciously and willfully go around dressed in an approximation of the Mighty TORQUEMADA...founder of *THE SPANISH INQUISITION*!?????????
> Hmmmmmmm? I rest my case. To further my case, I am going to shout: FUDGE, FUDGE, FUDGE! Muahahahahahahah! Torture! AHA!



Ahhh but it is near halloween and that leads me to be a thinking that ANYONE can get a costume these days...... 
Now about this fudge....you do know you are dealing with two BBW's??? Any mention of fudge has our immediate attention? Do you realize the power and skill we both have deep inside of us? Buff...you sit on him I will search out the fudge....


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## fatlane (Oct 3, 2007)

Roll tape on this one. We might make it into a regular segment.


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## Obesus (Oct 4, 2007)

I am down on my knees, begging for mercy...I'm givin' up the fudge...I know your superhuman skills come out whenever the "F" word comes up! :eat2: 
The altarboy thing was a lark, a mere jest, a ludibrium, a play upon words and an oxymoron, although completely founded in the reality of my past history. Ahhhhhhh....ooooh. I think I am in BIG trouble here. (I had best hide myself somewhere safe...ahhhh....I will seek sanctuary posing as a 56 year old 315 pound altarboy with a snow-white goatee....THAT won't arouse any suspicions! AHA!) :bow: When did I lose control? :batting: The thread is erupting around me like a volcano...but, *muy caliente*!  

Speaking of costumes:




porkchop said:


> Ahhh but it is near halloween and that leads me to be a thinking that ANYONE can get a costume these days......
> Now about this fudge....you do know you are dealing with two BBW's??? Any mention of fudge has our immediate attention? Do you realize the power and skill we both have deep inside of us? Buff...you sit on him I will search out the fudge....



View attachment 45646f5sd45.jpg


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## porkchop (Oct 4, 2007)

Obesus said:


> I am down on my knees, begging for mercy...I'm givin' up the fudge...I know your superhuman skills come out whenever the "F" word comes up! :eat2:
> The altarboy thing was a lark, a mere jest, a ludibrium, a play upon words and an oxymoron, although completely founded in the reality of my past history. Ahhhhhhh....ooooh. I think I am in BIG trouble here. (I had best hide myself somewhere safe...ahhhh....I will seek sanctuary posing as a 56 year old 315 pound altarboy with a snow-white goatee....THAT won't arouse any suspicions! AHA!) :bow: When did I lose control? :batting: The thread is erupting around me like a volcano...but, *muy caliente*!
> 
> Speaking of costumes:



just tell us where the fudge is Holy Man!:eat2:


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## Obesus (Oct 5, 2007)

Let me see here.... just where did I put that massive stock of delicious tri-favor fudge? Hmmmmm....I am getting on in years, you know...let me see here....ahhhhhhh...yes...
*the VAULT OF DOOM! *AHA! This is where I store my Little Debbie snack cakes, Fudge, Latte and Cappucino makings as well as my old ALTARBOY outfit!
Here is the combination if you dare! suolubafsiegduf  Of course, should you fail to enter the correct code within 45 seconds, the "defensive" system comes online and the outcome might involve delicious latte coffee beverages and COMFY CHAIRS!!!!!!!!! :shocked: 



porkchop said:


> just tell us where the fudge is Holy Man!:eat2:



View attachment vault.jpg


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## fatlane (Oct 5, 2007)

I was wondering where my pound of raspberry ripple went. I was gonna give that to Buffie for our 2nd anniversary show!

What else is in that vault?


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## Obesus (Oct 6, 2007)

What a complete surprise! I wasn't expecting you back for a little bit, eh?! Well, let me just positively state that I absolutely do NOT have the experimental Kitchen Robot in there and there are absolutely NO Buffietrons nor Porkchoptrons........NONE...at least not too many! It was just a little scientific experiment while you were gone! OK.....I did it...send me to my room without cappucinos....I am a big boy, I can take it..... 



fatlane said:


> I was wondering where my pound of raspberry ripple went. I was gonna give that to Buffie for our 2nd anniversary show!
> 
> What else is in that vault?



View attachment kitchen-robot1_12.jpg


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## porkchop (Oct 7, 2007)

the VAULT???? I knew there was a secret room...lead the way big guy....YOU can enter the combo.....and bring FL too...I need to know where everyone is when there is fudge involved!


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## Obesus (Oct 7, 2007)

Foiled again! You win there, Miss Porkchop....I know when I am defeated. I will allow the great fudge caper of '07 to end in peace and quiet....(little does she know that I am, in my own evil supergenius way, about to pull the ultimate fudge-trickery, by substituting the ultra-fudge with an inferior brand from a small shop nearby! Mauahahahahah!)  


porkchop said:


> the VAULT???? I knew there was a secret room...lead the way big guy....YOU can enter the combo.....and bring FL too...I need to know where everyone is when there is fudge involved!



View attachment fudge.jpg


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## porkchop (Oct 8, 2007)

Obesus said:


> Foiled again! You win there, Miss Porkchop....I know when I am defeated. I will allow the great fudge caper of '07 to end in peace and quiet....(little does she know that I am, in my own evil supergenius way, about to pull the ultimate fudge-trickery, by substituting the ultra-fudge with an inferior brand from a small shop nearby! Mauahahahahah!)



ummmm...you do know that you said all of that outloud ...right? That I can hear you???? :doh:


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## Buffie (Oct 9, 2007)

Our Porkchippie is clever like that, OB. Tsk tsk tsk. You should know better.

Fatlane, it gives up the raspberry ripple or it gets the hose.


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## Obesus (Oct 9, 2007)

Jame Gumb....oooooooh, now I am all warm and Halloweeny and such! Oh, Miss Buffie, you have made an old helpless man's day! Blessings on ye! Oh...well, I assumed that my secret writing was, well, SECRET! Ya' know? They just don't build secret writing like they used to...ratssssssssss...foiled again! Muahahahahaha! OK, alright, already, everyone over to my house for a fudge and latte' party! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!  



Buffie said:


> Our Porkchippie is clever like that, OB. Tsk tsk tsk. You should know better.
> 
> Fatlane, it gives up the raspberry ripple or it gets the hose.



View attachment 397213.jpg


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## Buffie (Oct 9, 2007)

Another Silence quote for OB...


-sssslurp-ssssslurp-sssslurp-ssssslurp-sssslurp-ssssslurp-sssslurp-ssssslurp-sssslurp-ssssslurp-sssslurp-ssssslurp-sssslurp-ssssslurp-sssslurp-ssssslurp-sssslurp-ssssslurp-sssslurp-ssssslurp-


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## Obesus (Oct 9, 2007)

Great Caeser's Ghost, too! I guess my secret writing didn't work so well...maybe next time I will make the font really really really tiny! Yes...there ya' go! Ok...fudge and latte party at my house! Whoops-a-doozle! Yay! :blink: 


porkchop said:


> ummmm...you do know that you said all of that outloud ...right? That I can hear you???? :doh:



View attachment lackeys.jpg


View attachment DollMan.jpg


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## Obesus (Oct 9, 2007)

Uhhhhhh.....oh.....the little doggie? The really crazy guy behind the plastic in the prison when Clarissa walks by? Ooooooh, you got me on that one! (But then, you da' Buffster!) Hey, this is _fun_!  



Buffie said:


> Another Silence quote for OB...
> 
> 
> -sssslurp-ssssslurp-sssslurp-ssssslurp-sssslurp-ssssslurp-sssslurp-ssssslurp-sssslurp-ssssslurp-sssslurp-ssssslurp-sssslurp-ssssslurp-sssslurp-ssssslurp-sssslurp-ssssslurp-sssslurp-ssssslurp-


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## porkchop (Oct 9, 2007)

Obesus said:


> Great Caeser's Ghost, too! I guess my secret writing didn't work so well...maybe next time I will make the font really really really tiny! Yes...there ya' go! Ok...fudge and latte party at my house! Whoops-a-doozle! Yay! :blink:



Fudge AND Latte's????? You put the plastic on the furniture right??? This could be messy....:eat2:


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## porkchop (Oct 9, 2007)

Buffie said:


> Our Porkchippie is clever like that, OB. Tsk tsk tsk. You should know better.
> 
> Fatlane, it gives up the raspberry ripple or it gets the hose.



Why thank you Miss Buffie! And might I say that I believe you to be unbelievably clever as well!


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## fatlane (Oct 9, 2007)

Buffie: the fudge is yours. Enjoy.

Everyone else: Let's rehearse for our Halloween special.


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## Obesus (Oct 10, 2007)

Uhhhhhh....I mean, I am doing it pronto! Yes! That sounds better! Will-do, roger, wilco and out!



porkchop said:


> Fudge AND Latte's????? You put the plastic on the furniture right??? This could be messy....:eat2:



View attachment messy_cuisine_logo2a.jpg


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## Obesus (Oct 10, 2007)

...when my eyes beheld an eerie sight.....my monster from his slab began to rise and then suddenly, to my surprise, he whacked the heck out of me! Serves me right!  



fatlane said:


> Buffie: the fudge is yours. Enjoy.
> 
> Everyone else: Let's rehearse for our Halloween special.



View attachment d_262.jpg


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## porkchop (Oct 10, 2007)

okay...sorry fatlane...now what part was I playing again???


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## Obesus (Oct 10, 2007)

Thelemic, dude! I remember going over to the Ordo Templii Orientis house in Berkeley back in the mid 1980's and everybody was all, like, "93, dude." Uncle Al was clearly rolling around in his grave!  Ned! Ned Sonntag! Lad, where are you? We're on page *93* over here, dammit!  
(Oh, the "93" current in Thelemic Magick is the current of the New Aeon...the so-called "Blasting-current." Who knew? :batting: 

View attachment ac-1934.jpg


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## fatlane (Oct 13, 2007)

Buffy and Porkchop will play the trick-or-treaters, and I'll play the guy that only gives out "fun size" candies.


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## Obesus (Oct 14, 2007)

AS I averred in a previous portion of this very thread, your skills and talents with women verge on the Bond-esque! You are, as we can now appreciate, the true "ladies-man" of the thread! You go, there, Tiger! :bow: 



fatlane said:


> Buffy and Porkchop will play the trick-or-treaters, and I'll play the guy that only gives out "fun size" candies.



View attachment 17897.jpg


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## porkchop (Oct 14, 2007)

fatlane said:


> Buffy and Porkchop will play the trick-or-treaters, and I'll play the guy that only gives out "fun size" candies.



FunSize??? hmmmmm...interesting...very interesting..
What are we wearing for costumes?


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## Obesus (Oct 14, 2007)

I am as yet unable to find the Master's secret sketchbooks, but I fear that he has something like *THIS* in mind: (or not!) 

View attachment 4006-large.jpg


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## Tina (Oct 14, 2007)

Started a new thread for this. It's here, for you subscribers.


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