# What about "smaller" bbw?



## southern_belly (Jan 11, 2010)

I have been reading and looking at pictures on this forum, and while I think this is a great place, I can see that I don't seem to "fit" here. I will admit to being a bit disappointed by this because I don't "fit" the mainstream ideal of beauty either. 

I am 5'5" and weigh about 215 pounds. I look like I weigh less, as I have a lot of muscle under my fat. I have been called fat since I was little, but I have also been worshipped by some of my former boyfriends. 

My question will likely sound stupid, and I have seen newbies get reamed for asking basic questions (usually by the same few people), but I want to know if there are distinctions for people who have been described as bbw but who are also on the small end. I wear a size 16.

Thanks.


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## Jon Blaze (Jan 12, 2010)

The need for distinction as well where everything begins is a subjective thing. There are as probably as many people that feel there is a need to discern bbws from ssbbws (Much larger women than you) as people that feel no need to make a designation between the two.

Usually the term "BBW" would be something applied to you, or that with added descriptors like "Mid-sized," or "Smaller."

I personally would just say "BBW" if I felt the need to say anything.

You are right in that some of the site is dedicated to much larger women, but that isn't what is intended initially. It's suppose to be for big people to varying degrees and their admirers. You are sure to find some that would be rude and snub you for being too small for them/to be here (Rude I know), but you will also find some like myself that will accept you with open arms. You are only just a slight bit smaller than the person I'm dating now. 

Best of luck to you.


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## Tad (Jan 12, 2010)

Southern;

I think part of what happens is that FA who are most interested in super-size partners have the hardest time meeting them in real life, and see relatively few to enjoy oggling as they go about their daily routine, so are more apt to come on-line and be active on here. I'm pretty sure that there are more guys into women your size than into SSBBW, but they may be less common at sites like this.

There are other women around Dimensions who are in your size range, and many have commented similarly....both how they don't seem to get as much attention, and how some guys have contacted them seemingly only to ask if they'd like to get a lot bigger :doh:

I guess all I can really say is take the message of size acceptance and beauty at any size and absorb it as best you can from here or from similar sites, and go about your daily life with your head up and your eyes open for admiring glances.

(For what it is worth, to me you sound like a delightful, cuddly, size just as you are. )


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## Tooz (Jan 12, 2010)

I can't speak for every woman here (most certainly), but I think everyone, any size, is welcome here. I know as a new member it can be difficult to navigate what really turns out to be a minefield on the forums, but I'm sure you will find a lot of nice people if you're willing to give it a go.

At any rate, welcome. I hope you decide to stick around.


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## Cors (Jan 12, 2010)

Welcome Southern! 

Your question isn't stupid at all. There are a few people here who insist that this site is for fat acceptance and define fat as strictly above X size, but many of us are for size acceptance in general and have a broader understanding of what fat is. I am considered small in most parts of the world, but I have shared my own version of the fat experience and most people have been understanding. Whenever some nameless, faceless guy starts talking about on how a woman is too small and should gain more weight, he usually gets shot down pretty fast. Such comments have no place here, except perhaps on the Erotic Weight Gain board. 

There are some smaller BBWs who do feel the way you do - check out this thread.


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## bigjayne66 (Jan 12, 2010)

southern_belly said:


> I have been reading and looking at pictures on this forum, and while I think this is a great place, I can see that I don't seem to "fit" here. I will admit to being a bit disappointed by this because I don't "fit" the mainstream ideal of beauty either.
> 
> I am 5'5" and weigh about 215 pounds. I look like I weigh less, as I have a lot of muscle under my fat. I have been called fat since I was little, but I have also been worshipped by some of my former boyfriends.
> 
> ...



I used to be around your size until my husband died suddenly
I am over 400 nowadays but your size is cool too,in my eyes even average is ok,it's just SKINNY thats uncool !!!


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## Tam (Jan 12, 2010)

Im some pounds over your weight, and May be i look fatter because i have a big belly. But i think most FA preffer SSbbw.


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## LovelyLiz (Jan 12, 2010)

southern_belly said:


> My question will likely sound stupid, and I have seen newbies get reamed for asking basic questions (usually by the same few people), but I want to know if there are distinctions for people who have been described as bbw but who are also on the small end. I wear a size 16.



Welcome! I agree with everyone who said this is a place more broadly about size acceptance, whatever that size happens to be. Skinny, thin, average, fat, very fat, it's all good.

One thing I have noticed recently, is that sometimes (especially outside the size-acceptance community) women who are in the small/mid-ranges of weight, try to keep their theoretical distance from women who are on the higher end of BBW or are SSBBW. Now, when you say you want to know if there's a "distinction" for BBWs like you on the smaller end, is this something you would want, or just something you're wondering about?

I realize that some of the daily struggles across the spectrum of weight can vary quite a lot, and in that way there is some benefit to people being able to share experiences with other women in their specific weight range, because the experiences have a higher chance of being similar. But I also feel like sometimes women take comfort in their smaller size by comparing themselves to others who are bigger, and thinking they are better. And that kind of separation is unhelpful. (I'm not at all saying that's what you are doing, your question just brought up this thought I recently had about the distinctions between size categories and how it's both helpful and unhelpful.)


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## rustydog7 (Jan 12, 2010)

I love all fat girls from just barely starting to fill out to very fat I love you all. I especilly like watching a woman gain.


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## southern_belly (Jan 12, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Welcome! I agree with everyone who said this is a place more broadly about size acceptance, whatever that size happens to be. Skinny, thin, average, fat, very fat, it's all good.
> 
> One thing I have noticed recently, is that sometimes (especially outside the size-acceptance community) women who are in the small/mid-ranges of weight, try to keep their theoretical distance from women who are on the higher end of BBW or are SSBBW. Now, when you say you want to know if there's a "distinction" for BBWs like you on the smaller end, is this something you would want, or just something you're wondering about?
> 
> I realize that some of the daily struggles across the spectrum of weight can vary quite a lot, and in that way there is some benefit to people being able to share experiences with other women in their specific weight range, because the experiences have a higher chance of being similar. But I also feel like sometimes women take comfort in their smaller size by comparing themselves to others who are bigger, and thinking they are better. And that kind of separation is unhelpful. (I'm not at all saying that's what you are doing, your question just brought up this thought I recently had about the distinctions between size categories and how it's both helpful and unhelpful.)



No, I do not at all wish to split hairs about who is smaller than whom, and I don't think being smaller makes a person better in any way. I mainly just want to talk to like-minded people, but want to be sure to use the correct terminology in this community I am now participating in. I think it is the sociologist in me. I don't want a distinction; I just want acceptance.

Having said that, I do know what it is like for someone to think they are superior because they are smaller in size. It feels like crap when it happens, and I would never want anyone to feel that way: one, because it is not what i believe to be true, and two, because it is just plain wrong. 

I like that you asked me these questions, though, because I am here for true discussion, not just to post pictures of myself or flirt (which I am sure I will also do!)


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## southern_belly (Jan 12, 2010)

Jon Blaze said:


> The need for distinction as well where everything begins is a subjective thing. There are as probably as many people that feel there is a need to discern bbws from ssbbws (Much larger women than you) as people that feel no need to make a designation between the two.
> 
> Usually the term "BBW" would be something applied to you, or that with added descriptors like "Mid-sized," or "Smaller."
> 
> ...



This response was so kind and exactly what I needed for my first foray in this community. Thanks for patiently explaining a few basics to me without making me feel silly.


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## southern_belly (Jan 12, 2010)

bigjayne66 said:


> I used to be around your size until my husband died suddenly
> I am over 400 nowadays but your size is cool too,in my eyes even average is ok,it's just SKINNY thats uncool !!!



I'm sorry to hear that about your husband's death. A friend of mine died a few years ago, and I put a lot of weight after her death. It was also sudden and very hard to accept (and some days I still can't).


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## southern_belly (Jan 12, 2010)

Tad said:


> Southern;
> 
> I think part of what happens is that FA who are most interested in super-size partners have the hardest time meeting them in real life, and see relatively few to enjoy oggling as they go about their daily routine, so are more apt to come on-line and be active on here. I'm pretty sure that there are more guys into women your size than into SSBBW, but they may be less common at sites like this.
> 
> ...



Thank you so much! I really am a proponent of size acceptance for everyone and ended friendships with people over their abusive language toward large people. It makes me sick to hear people talk like that.


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## southern_belly (Jan 12, 2010)

Cors said:


> Welcome Southern!
> 
> There are some smaller BBWs who do feel the way you do - check out this thread.



The thread you recommended is awesome and exactly the kind of discussion I am craving. Thanks so much!


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## bigjayne66 (Jan 12, 2010)

southern_belly said:


> I'm sorry to hear that about your husband's death. A friend of mine died a few years ago, and I put a lot of weight after her death. It was also sudden and very hard to accept (and some days I still can't).



At the time it was hard to bear,so I turned to eating as a comfort thing,and I got way out of control....


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## Adrian (Jan 13, 2010)

The focus on the SSBBW comes from its inception. Dimensions Magazine was started in the 1980s and the women of which it focused on were larger than their competitor "BUFF Magazine." The Internet became part of our life and Dimension Magazine became Dimension On-line.
I don't think there is any effort to exclude any BBW regardless of their size but, it started as a media for SSBBWs.

I do hope you feel welcome here, for you are not the only "mid-size BBW" (MS-BBW) or BBW on the forum.


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## DitzyBrunette (Jan 14, 2010)

Tad said:


> Southern;
> 
> I think part of what happens is that FA who are most interested in super-size partners have the hardest time meeting them in real life, and see relatively few to enjoy oggling as they go about their daily routine, so are more apt to come on-line and be active on here. I'm pretty sure that there are more guys into women your size than into SSBBW, but they may be less common at sites like this.



Completely agree with this. I get more attention from men on regular mainstream dating sites than I do on actual BBW sites which always seemed odd to me. I'm not tiny but I'm not SS either so while normally that would be a happy medium for most women, when it comes to meeting men who are into BBW it seems to be a disadvantage.


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## Dantes524 (Jan 15, 2010)

Speaking as a guy, it isn't the size alone that matters, but rather the way you view yourself and the confidence with which you convey your attitude.


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## Jes (Jan 15, 2010)

bigjayne66 said:


> it's just SKINNY thats uncool !!!



Well, Cors DID say it was MOST people who'd been good about her posts, right??


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## Jes (Jan 15, 2010)

My experience at Dims has been that the site is skewed toward SuperSized women, most likely because there are few other places for community and discussion for them outside of Dims. That's a sweeping generalization, but there you go. 

That said, I think there's room for everyone here, male, female and neither/nor.


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## Blueyedevil173 (Jan 16, 2010)

This body type would be particularly admired over at the curvage forums. 

Personally, as a feeder, I always look for a girl who is chubby, but not too big. It's more fun putting weight on a thick girl than on a lady who is already super-sized. Sort of a "blank canvas" kind of thing. That's just my take, but I'll bet I have brethren out there:eat2::eat1:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 17, 2010)

Just keep swimming....you'll find something here for you. This place has a wide variety.....and that works out well for us "smaller" people at times  

Welcome to the forums


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## largebob280 (Feb 6, 2010)

Personally, one reason I visit Dims is because I find BBWs to be physically attractive, and there are not very many forums available for these people to express themselves (in a non-pornographic way, at least). Dims is also generally a positive community, where people that would be considered social deviants in most places can openly discuss their fondness for the beauty of a larger person, or even less socially acceptable behaviors such as the desire to fatten up a partner or get fatter themselves.

In personal relationships, I find that there is more to people than their physical appearance. I have had girlfriends over the years that ranged from a 104 pound woman that periodically struggled with anorexia to a 300+ pound woman. I've never really had what these forums would call an SSBBW girlfriend.

I also understand your frustration. As others have said, you're more of a mid-size person, and, as far as I know, there isn't a forum for that group of people. You'd get ridiculed on a regular forum for being too fat, and you might get harassed on this forum for being too thin. I would hope that the Dims community would be above that type of behavior, but there are always a few insensitive people in any group.


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## fatcow3h (Feb 6, 2010)

yeah i agree taht i too get more attention on a more mainstream dating site than here. i just go with the flow ya know, there are so many cool people on here. there is a big tendency for folks to encourage others to fatten up but i'm ok with that.


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## Oirish (Feb 6, 2010)

I've always said I'm an "equal opportunist". I love women of all sizes and shapes (except for super skinny stick-thin girls). I've dated girls that were very thin and girls on the way to being supersized. They were all gorgeous to me. There are a lot of guys here at Dims that love "smaller BBWs" as well as larger but the most important part of that acronym is "beautiful", not "big". Welcome!  
I think a lot of attention here is given to the larger women because so many of the lovely models posting here fit that category and when a smaller BBW model is posting she is often gaining (which I won't complain about). I've seen quite a few women here that are smaller BBWs or even quite thin girls post photos that have been met with pages worth of positive responses. I think you'll find a lot of quality people here that will like you for you and not constantly push you to gain.


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## Paquito (Feb 7, 2010)

bigjayne66 said:


> it's just SKINNY thats uncool !!!



The way to fight for fat acceptance isn't thin bashing. Just so ya know.


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## bigjayne66 (Feb 14, 2010)

Well when those thin ones who like to fat bash cut us a bit of slack,I will shut up,I accept thin folks as long as they are prepared to accept me and not criticise me over my very large,and still slowly expanding size,even my own mother has jumped on the thin bandwagon and repeatedly says I look repulsive,those folks who have seen pics of me know otherwise,I admire those who are prepared to stand up for the large folks in this world.
sorry rant over...


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## Weirdo890 (Feb 14, 2010)

bigjayne66 said:


> Well when those thin ones who like to fat bash cut us a bit of slack,I will shut up,I accept thin folks as long as they are prepared to accept me and not criticise me over my very large,and still slowly expanding size,even my own mother has jumped on the thin bandwagon and repeatedly says I look repulsive,those folks who have seen pics of me know otherwise,I admire those who are prepared to stand up for the large folks in this world.
> sorry rant over...



It's good that you ranted. You needed to get that out of your system. It's like exorcising evil spirits. Just remember that not all skinny are fat-haters, or at least intentional fat-haters.


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