# Feederism and Health



## LoveBHMS (Dec 22, 2009)

In another thread, it was suggested that this might be a good topic to discuss. The health issue frequently seems to be the proverbial "third rail" of feederism, so I think it would be great for the community if we had a discussion about it.

One thing that has long bothered me is that within size acceptance, there are often attitudes of anger or resentment when it comes to fat and health. Fat people get angry when they are presumed to be unhealthy. Fat people get angry when they are presumed to have various diseases, or if it's assumed that a health issue is weight related when it may not be. Many posts on the Main Board link to media reports of links between obesity and health or longevity.

Yet when it comes to feederism or erotic weight gain, it feels as if suddenly health is a major issue. Feeders are presumed to not care about health. Gainers are presumed to not care about their own health, to be slowly killing themselves, or to be unaware or unconcerned of health risks involved in gaining. So it feels like on one hand we get the message "It's against size acceptance to say fat is unhealthy" yet on the other hand we get the message that feederism is dangerous. These two seem to be at odds.

Then there is the issue of how gainers feel about their own health. Many of the ones who post here have said either that they monitor their health and would stop gaining if it were affected, and some take the attitude that health risks are worth it because being fat is so important to them. The notion of "health" is also pretty broad; there is no hardcore definition of what is healthy and not healthy. A fat person can have average blood pressure or cholesterol, yet have limited mobility or be at greater risk if s/he falls down. A gainer may know all the risks and take them anyway, or it's possible some gainers are making mistakes as far as health risks. What does the community or a partner owe them as far as intervention or ceasing to encourage it?

Lastly there is the issue of "Do feeders just want to rub one out and not care about the health of their partner?" To me this is a complex question and one where I think an honest discussion is warranted. 

If you are speaking from a strictly sexual context, the answer may be no, because there may be no partner involved. If you are excited by porn involving women with huge breasts, you may not 'care' about the risks of implants, you just want to get off. If you subscribe to paysites to see a gaining woman, you may just be a customer buying a service. Are you a bad person, or should you feel guilty if you don't think about the woman as person when it's strictly a commercial relationship?

With a live partner, husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend the equation obviously changes. There would be a balance between fulfilling your needs and what your partner wants, and this goes for BOTH FEEDER AND GAINER. I think it's very important to note that there are situations where the gainer wants to gain beyond where the feeder is comfortable because s/he likes it so much. Obviously the gainer should get the final say because it's his/her body, but OTOH, if you're in a relationship, do you have a responsibility to ensure the feeder's emotional well being as well?


----------



## LillyBBBW (Dec 22, 2009)

Me personally? I wish this were posted in the protected forum rather than this one. This is such a personal issue. My answers are all very tame and tepid but still, I'm not one to post something so sensitive in an open forum where people are merely a hand's breath away from accusing us all of the death of every fat person who dies. Why do you keep using this forum anyway LoveBHMS?? Gees, as if the last clusterfuck in here wasn't distasteful enough.


----------



## natasfan (Dec 22, 2009)

it is shown that feederism is not good for health.


----------



## mergirl (Dec 22, 2009)

natasfan said:


> it is shown that feederism is not good for health.


hehe.. sorry 
I may even have to rep you for making me giggle!!

ETA-Actually, no rep for you..it would keep me awake at night!!


----------



## KHayes666 (Dec 22, 2009)

mergirl said:


> hehe.. sorry
> I may even have to rep you for making me giggle!!
> 
> ETA-Actually, no rep for you..it would keep me awake at night!!



Why does that make you giggle?



LoveBHMS said:


> In another thread, it was suggested that this might be a good topic to discuss. The health issue frequently seems to be the proverbial "third rail" of feederism, so I think it would be great for the community if we had a discussion about it.
> 
> One thing that has long bothered me is that within size acceptance, there are often attitudes of anger or resentment when it comes to fat and health. Fat people get angry when they are presumed to be unhealthy. Fat people get angry when they are presumed to have various diseases, or if it's assumed that a health issue is weight related when it may not be. Many posts on the Main Board link to media reports of links between obesity and health or longevity.
> 
> Yet when it comes to feederism or erotic weight gain, it feels as if suddenly health is a major issue. Feeders are presumed to not care about health. Gainers are presumed to not care about their own health, to be slowly killing themselves, or to be unaware or unconcerned of health risks involved in gaining. So it feels like on one hand we get the message "It's against size acceptance to say fat is unhealthy" yet on the other hand we get the message that feederism is dangerous. These two seem to be at odds.



I too wonder the same thing. Why is it that so many people get offended when asked if they have any health problems but are the first to point out that feederism/ewg is hazardous to your health?


----------



## mergirl (Dec 22, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> Me personally? I wish this were posted in the protected forum rather than this one. This is such a personal issue. My answers are all very tame and tepid but still, I'm not one to post something so sensitive in an open forum where people are merely a hand's breath away from accusing us all of the death of every fat person who dies. Why do you keep using this forum anyway LoveBHMS?? Gees, as if the last clusterfuck in here wasn't distasteful enough.


You could always start an identical thread in the protected part of the forum... I take from Love's post that there are a few issues that non feeders/feedees might want to address too, though i agree it seems like its the kind of thing that might lead to another clusterfuck. 
I see what you are saying *Loves* about the whole the promotion being here that being fat is not always unhealthy but when it comes to feederism it is seen as something harmful. I'm guessing this is because the people who are saying its unhealthy think that all feeders would like to see a person become 'as fat as is possible' and that all feedees would like to become as fat as possible. I think the difference is in the .."as possible".
I think people are wary of a fetish that seems in many cases not to have any ending, almost like it is a fetish that cant be satisfied. Ie. how fat is enough? Whereas, if you are fat and not 'gaining' you can remain the same weight for a long time. Hu..that sounds a bit obvious.
Anyway, i'm guessing that this is the difference.


----------



## LoveBHMS (Dec 22, 2009)

Can the mods please move this to the Erotic Weight Gain forum? 

LillyBBBW is correct, i misplaced it.


----------



## eduardo_weisz (Dec 22, 2009)

LoveBHMS said:


> Can the mods please move this to the Erotic Weight Gain forum?
> 
> LillyBBBW is correct, i misplaced it.



I am folowing this site for a long time now but I feel I don´t have much to say. I didn´t even know there are private discussions here .....

The thing is that I am interested in this discussion. How do I do to follow it?

If the question is inconvenient send me an answer in private or by e-mail.

Thanks!!!!!!


----------



## Jes (Dec 22, 2009)

eduardo_weisz said:


> I am folowing this site for a long time now but I feel I don´t have much to say. I didn´t even know there are private discussions here .....
> 
> The thing is that I am interested in this discussion. How do I do to follow it?
> 
> ...


The Weight Gain forum is protected only in that Mods won't tolerate unpleasant comments from those who don't find the topics exciting/erotic/positive. It is not, however, a closed, unreadable forum. So just check the boards and see if this topic turns up!


----------



## mergirl (Dec 22, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> Why does that make you giggle?



Well for one he said "It is shown that.."..
Where? what study? what has shown this? 
Secondly, [moderator edit] the way he has phrased it and in the context it is in made me giggle, because he made quite a random statement and generally only asks when women will be reaching 500lbs.
giggle giggle giggle!!!!!
It doesn't make you giggle? Or have a manly guffaw?
Actually, natasfan might be able to answer at least one of the questions about the dissonence between 'fat' -seen as 'can be healthy' and 'gaining on purpose' -seen as unhealthy. 
One one hand he exclaims that 
"It is shown that feederism isn't good for health" while on the other every other post is "when will you be 500lbs"... etc
I think this is one of the reasons people can see that fat can be healthy while still frowning on feedism and consider it to be unhealthy.
What happens after 500?


----------



## Jes (Dec 22, 2009)

mergirl said:


> .
> What happens after 500?



for whom? the woman in question or natasfan?


----------



## Weirdo890 (Dec 22, 2009)

I see this as a personal choice. People know the risks and if they want to do this. more power to them. If a person is forced into being a feedee or gainer, then that is when I object.


----------



## mergirl (Dec 22, 2009)

Jes said:


> for whom? the woman in question or natasfan?


Well both. I guess it was rhetorical.


----------



## Ash (Dec 22, 2009)

Weirdo890 said:


> I see this as a personal choice. People know the risks and if they want to do this. more power to them. If a person is forced into being a feedee or gainer, then that is when I object.



Perhaps this is a topic for another thread, but I'd like to hear some cases of people who have been forced into being a feedee or gainer. This is something we always hear, but it kind of has urban legend status.


----------



## Weirdo890 (Dec 22, 2009)

Ashley said:


> Perhaps this is a topic for another thread, but I'd like to hear some cases of people who have been forced into being a feedee or gainer. This is something we always hear, but it kind of has urban legend status.



Actually, that's a good idea. I'm sure it's actually happened, but I've never heard any specific cases. Should I start the thread?


----------



## mergirl (Dec 22, 2009)

Ashley said:


> Perhaps this is a topic for another thread, but I'd like to hear some cases of people who have been forced into being a feedee or gainer. This is something we always hear, but it kind of has urban legend status.


See, i was actually wondering about this. Has it ever happened? The only time i have heard about it was in that rediculous docu 'fat girls and feeders'. Though, if someone _was_ forced or manipulated into being a 'feedee' would they be allowed to post their story here?? I'm thinking probably not. I also think that if you have been manipulated in a relationship (any) then perhaps its too embarressing to talk about it in a lot of cases. 
I'm not sure it is an urban legend but i think maby it is rare (but then i guess, so is feedism??) and i doubt it would be talked about, especially not here.. Though i could be wrong.
Actually, that model taylor?? (will find out later) claimed to be a victim of a feeder in the afore mentioned docu.. doesn't she still kick about here? Maby she would tell her story.


----------



## Weirdo890 (Dec 22, 2009)

mergirl said:


> See, i was actually wondering about this. Has it ever happened? The only time i have heard about it was in that rediculous docu 'fat girls and feeders'. Though, if someone _was_ forced or manipulated into being a 'feedee' would they be allowed to post their story here?? I'm thinking probably not. I also think that if you have been manipulated in a relationship (any) then perhaps its too embarressing to talk about it in a lot of cases.
> I'm not sure it is an urban legend but i think maby it is rare (but then i guess, so is feedism??) and i doubt it would be talked about, especially not here.. Though i could be wrong.
> Actually, that model taylor?? (will find out later) claimed to be a victim of a feeder in the afore mentioned docu.. doesn't she still kick about here? Maby she would tell her story.



I actually started a thread about that.


----------



## Ash (Dec 22, 2009)

(other thread's already started. nothing to see here)


----------



## katorade (Dec 22, 2009)

I think the difference is that there are many reasons why people are fat, some benign and some unhealthy, but feeding with the specific intent to gain is a very focused area that is more black and white than just "being fat".

It's also that feeding is a practice, and not the actual person. Fat people are a little more comfortable pointing out the health risks of being a feedee because, statistically, it's a practice that is unhealthy by definition (referring to feeding with the purpose of massive weight gain). The attitude towards it becomes a little bit more flexible when it's narrowed down to the individual, and how that individual responds to becoming heavier.

I'd also add that a lot of times, what comes off as judgment or anger may actually be concern for the practicing individual. It's just so much easier to sound dismissive and uncaring when you're talking about an activity rather than actual people.


----------



## eduardo_weisz (Dec 22, 2009)

I don´t know if I should post it here. I don´t really get this forum thing ...... I am the only one using a real name here .....
So ..... it´s just a personal opinion but I think that fat positive is about fighting prejudice. It is a almost comic attitude about self-affirmatiom that with good humour delivers a serious message. It is less about thinking that doctors are stupid than about showing that they cannot provide answers. 
A fat person does not eat because she's actually hungry. She eats because she is happy, she eats because she is said and when she is not happy nor said she eats because it's tasty! Thus when a doctor speaks about diets or WLS he is assuming that the problem of obesity is about hunger and not about the person´s relationship with food the reasonable reaction seems to be mockery. Do you agree?
The same apply to that university that wants to prevent obese students from graduating. It is clearly a discriminatory posture. A posture that would prevent people like Oppenheimer and Popper to get a degree. What does those guys think they are?

On the other hand feederism is something more personal. How would someone feel if his/her partner dies from obesity related diseases? What to say? She is dead but it was worth it .... I had a lot of fun? How can someone possibly not to worry about it? 



katorade said:


> I think the difference is that there are many reasons why people are fat, some benign and some unhealthy, but feeding with the specific intent to gain is a very focused area that is more black and white than just "being fat".
> 
> It's also that feeding is a practice, and not the actual person. Fat people are a little more comfortable pointing out the health risks of being a feedee because, statistically, it's a practice that is unhealthy by definition (referring to feeding with the purpose of massive weight gain). The attitude towards it becomes a little bit more flexible when it's narrowed down to the individual, and how that individual responds to becoming heavier.
> 
> I'd also add that a lot of times, what comes off as judgment or anger may actually be concern for the practicing individual. It's just so much easier to sound dismissive and uncaring when you're talking about an activity rather than actual people.


----------



## katorade (Dec 22, 2009)

eduardo_weisz said:


> So ..... it´s just a personal opinion but I think that fat positive is about fighting prejudice. It is a almost comic attitude about self-affirmatiom that with good humour delivers a serious message. It is less about thinking that doctors are stupid than about showing that they cannot provide answers.
> A fat person does not eat because she's actually hungry. She eats because she is happy, she eats because she is said and when she is not happy nor said she eats because it's tasty! Thus when a doctor speaks about diets or WLS he is assuming that the problem of obesity is about hunger and not about the person´s relationship with food the reasonable reaction seems to be mockery. Do you agree?





Herein lies one of the big issues, though. Fat people eat for the same reasons thin people eat, for the most part. Everyone loves food. Everyone gets hungry. Many people, fat and thin, seek food out as a way to find comfort. Food affects us both physically and psychologically, and it takes a lot to get to the bottom of the issues that someone might have when eating is involved. Sometimes, though, there are no issues and a person is fat regardless of a healthy relationship with food. On the other hand, someone could be thin and have a hideous diet.

When it DOES become a problem/disorder, food-related issues are some of the most difficult to explain and treat, and I think that might lie at the bottom of why a lot of people are scared of the prospect of being a feedee. It's so closely related to other behaviors that are or are considered a disorder that they can be very frightening to face or be "okay" with.


----------



## squurp (Dec 22, 2009)

natasfan said:


> it is shown that feederism is not good for health.



You'll need to cite a source, if you intend to making this sweeping statement believable. 

Shown by who? what journal was the research based article published in?


----------



## LillyBBBW (Dec 23, 2009)

Well I've been fat for most of my life. I look at pics of myself as a kid and to my eyes I don't look fat at all. I was constantly referred to as fat though even as a baby so what do I know? *shrugs* My visceral response is one of contentment. I'm perfectly okay with being fat. There are days when I wish I was a size 6 because I want to fit in to a particular dress I saw or obtain a role I covet in an opera. There are days when I want to be a gaining 530 pound pear too. I would never have had any aversion to being fat at all had I not been ostracized and ridiculed about it all the time from childhood. The shame and so fourth was a societal/environmental creation and I went to ridiculous lengths to lose weight. I am weight loss resistant so I suffered horribly because of this. I spent time in hospitals, lost locks of my hair, missed periods, suffered heart arrhythmia - all in an extreme attempt to get that proverbial "thumbs up" from everyone to be something I was never meant to be. I was blessed with a wide ass, huge tits and a body that is happier being large and that's the way it goes. 

I think generally this is the case for lots of people. You've got a fat ass, a wide nose, thick calves or whatever and that's the hand you've been dealt. Some people don't want those things and that's fine I guess. If they want to run themselves ragged trying to obtain the appearance they like that's their prerogative I guess. I prefer to keep my hair and not lose valve function in my veins however so no more dieting and extremes for me thanks.

I *know* this is the right choice for me. Given my extensive experience in this body and a critical examination of my family history I know that scientifically this is the best course of action for me: a moderate lifestyle balance of square meals and regular activity. When all is said and done I'm left at 400 pounds, sometimes more and sometimes less. So far this is what works for me. Extreme gaining would not be wise nor would any extreme losses so I'm left to just dream about it. When it stops working for me I will do something else. A few years ago a good friend of mine was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. He isn't all that big. Probably only 30 or so pounds overweight and he's much younger than I am, but this diagnosis was traumatizing for him. Because of what he was going through, this of course gave him permission to blast me out about my weight and insist I accept his ominous prophecy of what is to come. "...Sure you're healthy now but whatcha gonna do when it all comes to get you? You better do something before it's tooooo LATE... late... la..." *sigh* I had to stop speaking to him because his attempts to save me became unacceptable. There aint nobody scary enough to make me go back to what I was before, lying in that hospital. The prospect of risking a heart attack to reduce my risk of diabetes is insanity. 

I'm one of the ones who gets testy when people start going on about how fat is so unhealthy. I nearly died three times in the pursuit of weight loss and wasn't sick at all till I ruined my health with extreme sports and diets. It is an emotional issue for me. People love to cite the instances of some fat person who died but will totally gloss over the fact that there are just as many if not MORE deaths associated with weight loss. These issues are personal and a decision that a person should be allowed to make within their own best interests and not according to what someone else has lived or experienced. You know someone who got fat and died? I know several who got thin and died or died trying. Just because it's downplayed as "natural causes" in the media and not sung about on every Oprah show doesn't make it any less a reality. The fact is that gaining holds risks, weight loss holds risks and doing nothing holds risks as well. We could all roll around on the ground arguing about it all day in one of these threads but at the end of the day I've resigned myself to allow people to make their own choices and live their lives as it pertains to them.


----------



## LoveBHMS (Dec 23, 2009)

That brings up a good point Lilly.

It's possible to endanger one's health in many ways including weight loss, weight gain, getting plastic surgery, getting breast implants, or using Botox.

Those would all potentially be examples of things somebody might do to be more attractive to a partner. As a feeder, I absolutely think about the health of the person who is gaining weight. To many people, I would be considered an ogre for encouraging somebody to get fatter when there are possible health risks. But is has to be true that plenty of men and women both will encourage partners to lose weight to be more attractive but there is very little talk of that being wrong.

What about a man who complained that his wife didn't look as young as she used to and she got plastic surgery? Just going under general anesthesia can be fatal. Breast implants can cause many health problems, yet are men really maligned for wanting their partners to be bustier?


----------



## LillyBBBW (Dec 23, 2009)

Generally I am thumbs down on anyone who pressures someone to do something that is risky. It happens all the time though and the happenstance isn't nearly as sinister as it's made out to be at times. A friend of mine pressured her husband before they were married to get a new pair of glasses. The guy was wearing ashtrays on his face and she thought he would look cooler if he got some better frames. Eventually he took her advice and everyone at his office went on and on about what a positive influence she was on him because his fashion sense improved. I've known guys who dumped a lover because he thought she was trying to change him.  Anything like that is unstable territory. 

We tend to judge people harshly who do things to please a partner though. Women will keep their hair long even though they would like to try a pixie. Things like this are much more common than people realize though I don't think most people are intentionally wanting to pressure their partner. A lot of people have an intrinsic desire to please their partner though essentially if they were TRULY against getting new glasses or eating a crumb cake s/he could refuse and it wouldn't matter at all. The love in a relationship usually goes beyond these issues but what are you going to do? If you like big boobs, you like big boobs. Suddenly your S.O. decides she wants to go get breast implants and it's all your fault, you boob looker you. You could rip your eyes out I suppose. Otherwise convincing her that it isn't necessary is a tall order and the guilt remains. And if she dies you're a cretin. Sorry, those are the rules. I think there IS some responsibility there but I'm uncertain where one should draw the line. Ultimately it's up to your partner to live the way they would like but its difficult to know if what they are doing is what they truly want or if they are just trying to please you. Ultimately it could be that what they want _IS_ to please you and that's tough to navigate. I don't know what the answer is except that people need to have their own boundaries and stick to them.


----------



## Melian (Dec 23, 2009)

squurp said:


> You'll need to cite a source, if you intend to making this sweeping statement believable.
> 
> Shown by who? what journal was the research based article published in?



LOL! He's not going to cite a journal, or even return to this thread, because there are no pics here (look at his post history).

He's probably off at the paysite board asking someone if she's ever eaten anything bigger than her head.


----------



## KHayes666 (Dec 23, 2009)

Melian said:


> LOL! He's not going to cite a journal, or even return to this thread, because there are no pics here (look at his post history).
> 
> He's probably off at the paysite board asking someone if she's ever eaten anything bigger than her head.



You forgot asking everyone if they're close to 500 pounds......no matter if they're visibly not even close.


----------



## Ernest Nagel (Dec 23, 2009)

Not like it's a zero-sum game but if physical health comes at the expense of emotional well-being what good is it, really? I know people with limited mobility, chronic pain and a much lower than average life expectancies (both weight related and not) who are as happy as the law allows. Many of them contribute to the world in extraordinary ways and maintain fulfilling, wonderful relationships.

I also know people who have "perfect" bodies, enjoy almost super human health and are miserable individuals, inside and out. Who's better off? What you look like isn't connected to how engaged you are with life or what you get out of it unless you let it be, jmo.

I'm not a feeder and I can't honestly pretend to understand it but I respect the rights of others to choose what works for them. Something that harms us on one level may nourish us on another. I rode dirt bikes and and sky dived for years. Aside from the immediate risks it took a terrible toll on my knees and back. I deal with pain every day but I wouldn't trade those experiences for perfect knees and ten more years of life. Some might call that crazy but I call it _my choice_. If it kills you but you die doing what you love you're a fortunate soul. Whoever's left behind may feel very differently but we each have to choose how to live our own lives.


----------



## squurp (Dec 23, 2009)

Melian said:


> LOL! He's not going to cite a journal, or even return to this thread, because there are no pics here (look at his post history).
> 
> He's probably off at the paysite board asking someone if she's ever eaten anything bigger than her head.



Well, if he can't cite a source, then we all know he's spouting bullshit. If he does cite a source, we can have a real discussion about how research is funded, and how it is used incorrectly. certainly, he has a chance to respond.


----------



## Melian (Dec 24, 2009)

squurp said:


> Well, if he can't cite a source, then we all know he's spouting bullshit. If he does cite a source, we can have a real discussion about how research is funded, and how it is used incorrectly. certainly, he has a chance to respond.



No.......you see, he's not going to respond. He is a hilarious one-line troll...practically a meme. 

Ah, never mind.


----------



## LoveBHMS (Dec 24, 2009)

there is nobody with a higher post count and less rep than "natasfan".


----------



## KHayes666 (Dec 24, 2009)

LoveBHMS said:


> there is nobody with a higher post count and less rep than "natasfan".



Alright, lets not make fun of the guy too much. Least he normally keeps his presence on the boards where he's allowed to say that he says.

I didn't know that about the most post/less rep category....I figured I'd be in the top 5 of that lol


----------



## tonynyc (Dec 24, 2009)

Ernest Nagel said:


> Not like it's a zero-sum game but if physical health comes at the expense of emotional well-being what good is it, really? I know people with limited mobility, chronic pain and a much lower than average life expectancies (both weight related and not) who are as happy as the law allows. Many of them contribute to the world in extraordinary ways and maintain fulfilling, wonderful relationships.
> 
> *I also know people who have "perfect" bodies, enjoy almost super human health and are miserable individuals, inside and out. Who's better off? What you look like isn't connected to how engaged you are with life or what you get out of it unless you let it be,* jmo.



*A*h... but this is the dilemma- are those folks with percieved "perfect" bodies truly healthy... the "lifestyles" of some athletes can also be questioned.


----------



## HugeFan (Dec 29, 2009)

I'm well aware that this post may get censored, as a few of mine have been, for being politically-incorrect, at least in the context of these boards. I've been reading and posting on these forums, on and off, for over a decade, but once you're out of step with the party line, you may find yourself the enemy. Sorry to sound confrontational, please read all of what I have to say, you may find something worth pondering within it, or at least a laugh. 

I really do find interesting the impact a lack of reality, perspective, and personal responsibilty can have on someone's view of things. Nowhere is this more evident, it seems, than in what I'll just point to as the world of feederism/SSBBW/and especially 'ultra-ssbbw.' As my thoughts center around the realization that things tend to be a matter of spectrums, degrees, and shades of grey, they do pertain to the whole community, just to a lesser extent.

I'm sorry, but I'm just damn sick of hearing posters pretend like they're confused by the passing of a member of our community, often what you'd say premature, who falls under the ultra-sized tag, four or five hundred pounds plus. 

The reality is that being that size carries with it certain health risks. So does smoking. So does drinking too much, or, maybe, not enough. Don't exercise enough, and you're at risk for an early demise, but don't be biking on that mountain trail at 3 am because you may go sailing. Enjoy the benefits from that fish you broiled for dinner, but the mercury in its flesh will bite you in the ass....but you'll still need to get it checked with a colonoscopy. 

If things weren't complicated enough for you years ago, we're well into the era of 'good' and 'bad' cholesterol. I have no idea what parts of an egg are good for me, or if garlic is only good for keeping that emo-looking kid that the Twilight movies are making popular away, or if it'll stop a heart attack.

Popular media often wants to portray being overweight as a death-sentence. The reality is that being somewhat overweight may well have no impact on one individual, while it might be very negative towards another, and even have a positive impact on another. It's just one factor to consider. It's contextual, it's variable, and it can't be stated categorically as a health influence. But it is a factor to be considered. 

Is being a 'ssbbw' a death sentence? Of course not. And what's a 'ssbbw?' Depends, right? Every ssbbw is a different size, has different health, different genes, different habits. But is being more overweight a generally negative contributing health factor? Yep. Sorry. 

Here's the thing. Weighing 450 lbs is unhealthy. So is drinking too much, or smoking, or riding a motorcycle, or for that matter not eating your asparagus. Or eating too much of it. I guess it's human nature to present a full-throated defense of one's lifestyle, but it comes at the cost of credibilty. 

I'll say this and leave it: for those of you who will firebomb my thoughts, and then delete them, what would you say to the person posting on their respective forums: 'Yeah Jim ran a smoking fetish paysite, and went through 4 packs a day, but I can't understand how he died of lung cancer at 43!' or 'Well sure I go through 2 things of bourbon a day, but I make do and function alright....society says it's unhealthy, but they're just discriminating.'

My point could be made without discussing feederism, and I do believe that that is a whole different ball of wax. But it is pertinent in that, as mentioned already, we see two faces from people here, one loudly proclaiming that 'there's nothing unhealthy about being XXX weight', and then turning around with the other yelling '...then that ass coerced her into gaining weight and making her unhealthy.' I believe that an undue influence and abusive nature of a Feedee/Feeder relationship may very well occur, but I don't see that its inherent. 

All of these things point to one general trend, one which I feel is incredibly counter-productive to the entire goal of this board and this community...This board and the people who post on it should strive towards empowerment. With that comes responsibility. If we want a 'movement', or argument, or even just a preference to have any kind of reasonable credibilty, it has to go beyond just simple Pollyanna optimism and blind hope. 

Know what's up, as best you can. Don't stick your head in the sand, unless you're a Saudi who really loves it doggy-style, and you're aware of the risks and benefits. Just own your moments, don't feel the need to make excuses or apologies for them.


----------



## Mini (Dec 29, 2009)

I always wonder if the crusaders spend this much time bitching out smokers and drinkers and skydivers about how their choices are going to kill them.

No one's ever given a satisfactory answer as to how it's any of their fuckin' business. Your concern is noted and ignored. Now go away.


----------



## KHayes666 (Dec 29, 2009)

Mini said:


> I always wonder if the crusaders spend this much time bitching out smokers and drinkers and skydivers about how their choices are going to kill them.
> 
> No one's ever given a satisfactory answer as to how it's any of their fuckin' business. Your concern is noted and ignored. Now go away.



To be fair, second hand smoke could damage other people around them which would make it my business if I was in the same vicinity.

However, if I'm 3,000 miles away and someone says "I'm havin a cigarette" its not my business and it don't concern me.

I get your point though.


----------



## HugeFan (Dec 29, 2009)

Yeah, but you don't get to tell me to go away. I'm just as much a member of this community as you are, even if I don't agree with everything you believe in. Sorry about that. 

Maybe I didn't make myself clear, maybe you didn't pay attention, maybe a bit of both. My point was that somewhat overweight=somewhat unhealthy generally, but not as a rule, extremely overweight=extremely unhealthy generally, more of a rule but not entirely...but there is a correlation. 

It's a risk factor, as is sky-diving, bull fighting, and robot mating  And if you think that heavy-duty smokers aren't the focus of public health policy.....really? They tax the crap out of it, then ban it in everywhere including bars......is that political/economic? Yep. Is smoking healthy? Wanna fight that one?


----------



## Mini (Dec 29, 2009)

HugeFan said:


> Yeah, but you don't get to tell me to go away. I'm just as much a member of this community as you are, even if I don't agree with everything you believe in. Sorry about that.
> 
> Maybe I didn't make myself clear, maybe you didn't pay attention, maybe a bit of both. My point was that somewhat overweight=somewhat unhealthy generally, but not as a rule, extremely overweight=extremely unhealthy generally, more of a rule but not entirely...but there is a correlation.
> 
> It's a risk factor, as is sky-diving, bull fighting, and robot mating  And if you think that heavy-duty smokers aren't the focus of public health policy.....really? They tax the crap out of it, then ban it in everywhere including bars......is that political/economic? Yep. Is smoking healthy? Wanna fight that one?



Maybe I just don't give a shit about things that have nothing to do with me? What responsible, consenting adults ingest, expel, or otherwise fuck around with is no concern of mine, and I cast a wary glance at anyone who pays that much attention either way.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Dec 29, 2009)

Huge fan, you really don't know what you're talking about. Generally, most people who are BBW or SSBBW are not that way deliberately or because they want to be. It's not due to some careless notion or wreckless way of living that they aren't as good at as you are. Some would give anything to be able to walk into a store and buy a dress along side their friends and what not. It's a bit flippant to treat their disposition as some form of damning evidence of their evil or ineptitude at making better life choices. Sometimes the better choice is to accept the things you cannot change, change the things you can and know the difference between the two. Living with guilt that is undeserved is not a part of size acceptance though. 

So you think that the state of being a bbw/ssbbw is self inflicted? Who cares. It aint you, and you don't know what you're talking about unless you've lived it. You can bla bla bla here all you like but it gets deleted because it's annoying, condescending, ill informed and inflammatory. Don't pat yourself on the back like you're exposing some truth that only you have the mental strength to contort into sense. The people who live it every day bear more weight of the truth than you ever will and your affirmations are very surface and hollow.

As for feedees, none of us are dead. When we are you can come here howling and tearing your clothes about the inhumanity of it all just like the others will, I'm sure. It's a bit callous however to preen and gloat over the death of those who weren't into this lifestyle at all and had no control over the state of their bodies or what happened to them as a result. It's kind of sick actually. You don't like this lifestyle, fine. Beating up on those who had nothing to do with it is cruel though. That's why your posts get edited and deleted. 





HugeFan said:


> I'm well aware that this post may get censored, as a few of mine have been, for being politically-incorrect, at least in the context of these boards. I've been reading and posting on these forums, on and off, for over a decade, but once you're out of step with the party line, you may find yourself the enemy. Sorry to sound confrontational, please read all of what I have to say, you may find something worth pondering within it, or at least a laugh.
> 
> I really do find interesting the impact a lack of reality, perspective, and personal responsibilty can have on someone's view of things. Nowhere is this more evident, it seems, than in what I'll just point to as the world of feederism/SSBBW/and especially 'ultra-ssbbw.' As my thoughts center around the realization that things tend to be a matter of spectrums, degrees, and shades of grey, they do pertain to the whole community, just to a lesser extent.
> 
> ...


----------



## HugeFan (Dec 29, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> Huge fan, you really don't know what you're talking about. Generally, most people who are BBW or SSBBW are not that way deliberately or because they want to be. It's not due to some careless notion or wreckless way of living that they aren't as good at as you are. Some would give anything to be able to walk into a store and buy a dress along side their friends and what not. It's a bit flippant to treat their disposition as some form of damning evidence of their evil or ineptitude at making better life choices. Sometimes the better choice is to accept the things you cannot change, change the things you can and know the difference between the two. Living with guilt that is undeserved is not a part of size acceptance though.
> 
> So you think that the state of being a bbw/ssbbw is self inflicted? Who cares. It aint you, and you don't know what you're talking about unless you've lived it. You can bla bla bla here all you like but it gets deleted because it's annoying, condescending, ill informed and inflammatory. Don't pat yourself on the back like you're exposing some truth that only you have the mental strength to contort into sense. The people who live it every day bear more weight of the truth than you ever will and your affirmations are very surface and hollow.
> 
> As for feedees, none of us are dead. When we are you can come here howling and tearing your clothes about the inhumanity of it all just like the others will, I'm sure. It's a bit callous however to preen and gloat over the death of those who weren't into this lifestyle at all and had no control over the state of their bodies or what happened to them as a result. It's kind of sick actually. You don't like this lifestyle, fine. Beating up on those who had nothing to do with it is cruel though. That's why your posts get edited and deleted.



In no way did I suggest being overweight, or a feedee, was evil....And even though, since I said something you didn't like, you're certain I have no clue about anything, I know what it's like to be overweight, and what it's like to lose and gain said weight back.

I'm sorry, but the vast majority of people who'd fall under the SSBBW or SSBHM category could lose weight if they put their minds to it. I'm not talking about being a size 4, but getting somewhat smaller.

That said, I'm not saying that they should do that, or even should want to. My point was simply that people should just admit that being that size, particularly if you're into feederism and gaining, is just one of many lifestyle choices, like drinking, smoking, jogging, etc.

Why is that so wrong? I'm not suggesting any kind of value judgment, despite your attempt to characterize it as such. I don't think it's evil, or bad, or necessarily wrong at all for someone to look at their individual situation, weigh the pros and cons, and go from there.


----------



## Melian (Dec 29, 2009)

HugeFan said:


> In no way did I suggest being overweight, or a feedee, was evil....And even though, since I said something you didn't like, you're certain I have no clue about anything, I know what it's like to be overweight, and what it's like to lose and gain said weight back.
> 
> *I'm sorry, but the vast majority of people who'd fall under the SSBBW or SSBHM category could lose weight if they put their minds to it. I'm not talking about being a size 4, but getting somewhat smaller*.
> 
> ...



I see what you're saying - that being "overweight" CAN be negative to a person's health, in the same way that many everyday activities have this potential, and that it is just one thing to consider - but you must notice that you're phrasing it in a way that is going to piss off a lot of readers and cause them to ignore your point.

Peppering your message with phrases like the one I have bolded is another way to guarantee that readers will react negatively.

Just saying.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Dec 29, 2009)

HugeFan said:


> In no way did I suggest being overweight, or a feedee, was evil....And even though, since I said something you didn't like, you're certain I have no clue about anything, I know what it's like to be overweight, and what it's like to lose and gain said weight back.
> 
> I'm sorry, but the vast majority of people who'd fall under the SSBBW or SSBHM category could lose weight if they put their minds to it. I'm not talking about being a size 4, but getting somewhat smaller.
> 
> ...



OMG HugeFan, I had never EVER even thought of that before! I'm sure neither have the thousands of other SS people out there. You are so clever and enlightening. And you lost 60 pounds on fresh air and diet soda? Gee whiz, that's amazing. You've really reached me.


----------



## Wild Zero (Dec 29, 2009)

HugeFan said:


> I'm well aware that this post may get censored, as a few of mine have been, for being politically-incorrect, at least in the context of these boards. I've been reading and posting on these forums, on and off, for over a decade, but once you're out of step with the party line, you may find yourself the enemy. Sorry to sound confrontational, please read all of what I have to say, you may find something worth pondering within it, or at least a laugh.
> 
> I'm sorry, but I'm just damn sick of hearing posters pretend like they're confused by the passing of a member of our community, often what you'd say premature, who falls under the ultra-sized tag, four or five hundred pounds plus.



The moderation likely has nothing to do with being "politically-incorrect" and everything to do with exploiting a person's death to say that everyone could stand to lose a few pounds.

*I'm sorry but* (meaning I'm not really sorry at all), it's probably more callous and inhumane than someone posting a thread over how they wish someone didn't die because they wanted to see them pass a certain weight milestone or get free videos. One views a person as nothing more than their sexual outlet while the other views them as nothing more than a bullet point for their argument on the fucking internet.


----------



## KHayes666 (Dec 29, 2009)

HugeFan said:


> Too much BS to quote
> 
> *I'm sorry, but I'm just damn sick of hearing posters pretend like they're confused by the passing of a member of our community, often what you'd say premature, who falls under the ultra-sized tag, four or five hundred pounds plus. *



I cant believe I missed this yesterday.

How...DARE...you take the whole community to task not to mention use someone's death as a crutch for your arguement.

I was legitimate friends with 3 people who died this year, and NONE of the 3 died from an illness brought on or became fatal due to their weight. Just for the fact you didn't even THINK to look into why someone died and just made the pitiful assumption "Oh, someone over 500 pounds died? Must have been their weight" shows you aren't exactly the HugeFan you claim to be.

While I'll admit that ssbbw's and ssbhm's won't be competing in the olympics for 40 yard dash times, they're not automatically unhealthy as you claim to be. I bet I can name 3 ssbbw's that can run or move FASTER than you because they're very mobile for their size.

If you're so sick of us continuing to support supersized men and women, why don't you take a walk and not come back?


----------



## mergirl (Jan 4, 2010)

Just wanted to chime in to say, riding a motorcycle isn't 'unhealthy'. thanks. x


----------



## squurp (Jan 4, 2010)

HugeFan said:


> I'm well aware that this post may get censored, as a few of mine have been, for being politically-incorrect, at least in the context of these boards. I've been reading and posting on these forums, on and off, for over a decade, but once you're out of step with the party line, you may find yourself the enemy. Sorry to sound confrontational, please read all of what I have to say, you may find something worth pondering within it, or at least a laugh.
> 
> I really do find interesting the impact a lack of reality, perspective, and personal responsibilty can have on someone's view of things. Nowhere is this more evident, it seems, than in what I'll just point to as the world of feederism/SSBBW/and especially 'ultra-ssbbw.' As my thoughts center around the realization that things tend to be a matter of spectrums, degrees, and shades of grey, they do pertain to the whole community, just to a lesser extent.
> 
> ...



You have no clue what you are talking about. You are not up on the research and your understanding of things is very narrow. I have neither the time nor the motivation to coddle you in this area which you are clearly remedial, but you may search my posts and find some enlightenment in this manner. Until you further educate yourself, you offer no benefit to this community.


----------



## EtobicokeFA (Jan 5, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> Huge fan, you really don't know what you're talking about. Generally, most people who are BBW or SSBBW are not that way deliberately or because they want to be. It's not due to some careless notion or wreckless way of living that they aren't as good at as you are. Some would give anything to be able to walk into a store and buy a dress along side their friends and what not. It's a bit flippant to treat their disposition as some form of damning evidence of their evil or ineptitude at making better life choices. Sometimes the better choice is to accept the things you cannot change, change the things you can and know the difference between the two. Living with guilt that is undeserved is not a part of size acceptance though.
> 
> So you think that the state of being a bbw/ssbbw is self inflicted? Who cares. It aint you, and you don't know what you're talking about unless you've lived it. You can bla bla bla here all you like but it gets deleted because it's annoying, condescending, ill informed and inflammatory. Don't pat yourself on the back like you're exposing some truth that only you have the mental strength to contort into sense. The people who live it every day bear more weight of the truth than you ever will and your affirmations are very surface and hollow.
> 
> As for feedees, none of us are dead. When we are you can come here howling and tearing your clothes about the inhumanity of it all just like the others will, I'm sure. It's a bit callous however to preen and gloat over the death of those who weren't into this lifestyle at all and had no control over the state of their bodies or what happened to them as a result. It's kind of sick actually. You don't like this lifestyle, fine. Beating up on those who had nothing to do with it is cruel though. That's why your posts get edited and deleted.



Well said. I always find it funny when every year around this time, people (in general) are generally shocked that a fresh study comes out stating that deaths rates from stroke and heart disease are all dropping, and lifespans are rising while the average American get fatter. 

However, I would to know why does there seem to be witch hunt of people that are perceived to made a conscious decision to being fat (or being the weight they are)? 

Is it because we are still holding on to old myths that deliberately being fat (or fatter) is a wreckless way of living? 

If we can say that being fat and fit has no weight limit. We have to say that regardless of if the weight is deliberately or not.


----------



## Russ2d (Jan 5, 2010)

mergirl said:


> Just wanted to chime in to say, riding a motorcycle isn't 'unhealthy'. thanks. x



It is when you crash


----------



## Russ2d (Jan 5, 2010)

Wild Zero said:


> The moderation likely has nothing to do with being "politically-incorrect" and everything to do with exploiting a person's death to say that everyone could stand to lose a few pounds.
> 
> *I'm sorry but* (meaning I'm not really sorry at all), it's probably more callous and inhumane than someone posting a thread over how they wish someone didn't die because they wanted to see them pass a certain weight milestone or get free videos. One views a person as nothing more than their sexual outlet while the other views them as nothing more than a bullet point for their argument on the fucking internet.



Yup......agreed


----------



## katorade (Jan 5, 2010)

Russ2d said:


> It is when you crash



It's the crashing part that's unhealthy, not the riding.


----------



## mergirl (Jan 6, 2010)

Russ2d said:


> It is when you crash


yes. Living is unhealthy when you die.. 
basically you can make that happen for anything..
eating an apple is unhealthy when you choke on it...etc etc ad infinitum.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Jan 6, 2010)

mergirl said:


> yes. Living is unhealthy when you die..
> basically you can make that happen for anything..
> eating an apple is unhealthy when you choke on it...etc etc ad infinitum.



Running is unhealthy when you have a heart attack. Watching _South Park _is unhealthy when you have a stroke and wake up in hell, and so fourth.


----------



## KHayes666 (Jan 6, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> Running is unhealthy when you have a heart attack. Watching _South Park _is unhealthy when you have a stroke and wake up in hell, and so fourth.



Tying my shoes are unhealthy because when I run afterwards I'll have a heart attack


----------



## mergirl (Jan 6, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> Running is unhealthy when you have a heart attack. Watching _South Park _is unhealthy when you have a stroke and wake up in hell, and so fourth.



Yes exactly! 



KHayes666 said:


> Tying my shoes are unhealthy because when I run afterwards I'll have a heart attack



Well thats more complicated. A bit like second hand smoke.


----------



## KHayes666 (Jan 6, 2010)

mergirl said:


> Yes exactly!
> 
> 
> 
> Well thats more complicated. A bit like second hand smoke.



Then walking outside is hazzardous because I may stroll into someone smoking....what should I do?

I can't stay indoors because I may strut around in my red sequined bathrobe and trip over the phone cord, spilling my wine glass of dr pepper and knocking my trilby hat into the cat's food bowl.


----------



## mergirl (Jan 6, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> Then walking outside is hazzardous because I may stroll into someone smoking....what should I do?
> 
> I can't stay indoors because I may strut around in my red sequined bathrobe and trip over the phone cord, spilling my wine glass of dr pepper and knocking my trilby hat into the cat's food bowl.


yeah, life is a worry alright!


----------

