# Getting Pregnant...



## Tigerhawk (Feb 12, 2011)

Obviously I will not be the one carrying the baby. My wife and I started seeking help with fertility. 

The first doctor ran a hormone test and insulin levels. Both came back normal and that doctor told my wife to lose weight or come back when she was ready to have stomach stapling.

We sought the help of a different doctor. The second doctor was much nicer and set up an ultrasound to check for cysts. Afterward we were set up with a gynecologist. The gynecologist explained that there were very small cysts on my wife's left ovary but the right one was fine. She came as close to saying PCOS was evident without ever saying that it was a certainty.

The gynecologist prescribed a pill to induce a period, birth control pills to regulate the absence of periods, and a firmly advised a low carb 1200-1600 calorie diet to lose at least 30 pounds before a follow-up visit in 6 months.

When the gynecologist spoke of dieting, she looked disgusted with our lack of implementing a diet plan for my wife over the past four years. The gynecologist rudely stated, "Are you serious about having a pregnancy or not." 

My wife seems resigned to the follow through on the diet. This is day 4. The past three nights she has complained of hunger. She hates dieting, but she wants to be a mom. I have confidence that she will reach the goal and I will support her. 

I was wondering is the best doctor's advice that we can do or are there more options?


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## Missy9579 (Feb 12, 2011)

I was 310 pounds when I got married last September. I had diabetes and we wanted to start a family. I had PCOS and did not get regular periods. The decisions that I made were the best ones for me.

In November I decided to have lapband surgery. I knew that my best chances of pregnancy were to lose weight. I had lapband in February. I lost on average 11 pounds a month.

We were referred to a fertility doctor. We had consultations and tests and were told Clomid and IUI were our best chances. We were given the go ahead to start in May...I waited until June to start. June we did 50 of clomid, ovidrel and IUI. It was a negative.

In July we did 100 of clomid, ovidrel and IUI....it worked and we would up pregnant with twins. I weighed about 250ish pounds when I got pregnant. 

Our doctors were aware that I was bigger and weight was discussed, although it was never pushed nor were we treated badly because of it. We weren't told we could only do infertility if we lost x amount of pounds.

I think finding a doctor that you are comfortable with but one that is also comfortable with you is important. There are options out there and the above ones were all that we needed.

I am 31 weeks pregnant now with twin boys. I have had not 1 complication, no bed rest, no hospitalization..it's been an all around perfectly healthy pregnancy. I have gained about 23 pounds so far.


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## Miss Vickie (Feb 12, 2011)

Tigerhawk said:


> I was wondering is the best doctor's advice that we can do or are there more options?



Well, it may be THAT doctor's best advice, but that doesn't mean it's THE best advice. I'm a little bit confused by something. Are you having trouble conceiving? Is that why you sought an OB/GYN? If so, then you may need to enlist their help (someone's help!) if your wife had a problem with her ovaries. However, if she can conceive, then you really don't need their permission to have a baby. If your wife can't diet, then... well... have a baby, just like the rest of us, if you can get pregnant. If she has trouble conceiving, some doctors and midwives have had good luck using Metformin (glucophage) to reduce insulin resistance and improve fertility in women with PCOS. 

But if you do get pregnant, I'd encourage you to seek prenatal care (GOOD prenatal care, from a size friendly provider -- perhaps a midwife?) early in the pregnancy, keep careful diet logs (not dieting) and watch the simple carbs. Like it or not, when we're fat we are at greater risk for gestational diabetes. That doesn't mean we WILL, but rather it is one risk factor for gestational diabetes. Many fat women (hands raised) don't have GD. Many thin women DO have it. But being fat increases insulin resistance (and also helps us gain weight) which increases the body's own natural insulin resistance during pregnancy, which is what leads to GD. So you can't eliminate the risk altogether, but that risk can be minimized by eating well during the pregnancy (lean protein, whole grains, salad, whole fruit and avoiding junky food, especially _sweet_ junky food) to keep glucose levels on an even keel. This isn't a weight loss program. It's a sugar control program. While as quaint as it sounds having a big baby, unfortunately there are a lot of risks from out of control hyperglycemia, so it bears keeping good control over. 

I hope you can find a good provider that you can work with who won't make your wife feel badly. And again... midwives? nurse practitioners? Awesome folks, tend to spend a lot more time with their patients, and are really good at the soft touch.  (And no, I'm not biased, why would you ask?)

And in the meantime, it's never too early to take folic acid and prenatal vitamins.


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## Tad (Feb 16, 2011)

Out of curiosity, did they check you out? 

I had a male co-worker with an SSBBW wife, and they could not conceive. The suspicion was of course that this was because his wife is an SSBBW....after appropriate investigation it was found he had very low sperm count and quality, and this was the probably cause, and the treatment could focus on him (last I'd heard his counts were coming up, they were not expecting yet, but he got caught in corporate downsizings and I've not kept up with him since then). And you never would have expected it from him, given that he was big hulking sort of guy who was very active, not the sort where you expect health issues particularly.


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## TinyTum (Feb 16, 2011)

Tad is right... You need a complex sperm analysis to check your sperm count and that they can actually swim...

I've sent you a PM as well.


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## Miss Vickie (Feb 16, 2011)

According to the fertility specialist who came to speak to our class, most of the time it's not either the man or the woman, but a little of both. She may have some trouble with ovulating predictably, and he may have somewhat sluggish sperm. So any fertility specialist worth going to will check BOTH of you.


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## Tad (Feb 17, 2011)

And worth mentioning, sometimes it doesn't seem to be anything about either person, just how their biologies interact or something. I've certainly heard of people who could not have kids together, broke up, then both had kids with new partners without any difficulty.

Human bodies = :doh: a lot of the time


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## CastingPearls (Feb 18, 2011)

Tad said:


> And worth mentioning, sometimes it doesn't seem to be anything about either person, just how their biologies interact or something. I've certainly heard of people who could not have kids together, broke up, then both had kids with new partners without any difficulty.
> 
> Human bodies = :doh: a lot of the time


I was friends with a couple who (she) had six miscarriages and her ob/gyn chalked it up to them not being biologically compatible yet when they divorced and both remarried had three children each without the help of fertility specialists.


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