# General Anxiety Thread



## loopytheone

I know there is a thread about panic attacks on here but I couldn't find a recent one about anxiety in general. I have an anxiety disorder, especially social anxiety, and sometimes I just want a place to talk about it. 

So does anybody else here have anxiety problems/disorders? Do your friends/family have these problems? I think it would be cool to hear from anyone. 

Today I have been working really hard on cleaning out my room and I had to go out of the front door to the dustbins to put the first out of several handfuls of rubbish into the rubbish bin. This already filled my with anxiety and dread but when I got out there I saw one of the things I fear most... children. There was a group of about five of them and they looked around ten years old. My heart was pounding as I went to my bin and they all stared at me... then they started talking to me, asking me my name and what year at school I am in (seriously, I am 24 years old but I get asked that a lot). And I can't describe how anxious it made me, I feel like they are/were mocking me and waiting for me to come back out... the rubbish is going to have to wait, I can't go back out there not-knowing if they might be hanging around somewhere near that I can't see them. I'd ask my sister to do it for me but now I am all anxioused up I am too anxious to do that. 

I hate how normal things can become such a huge challenge. Anyone else have any experiences?


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## Dr. Feelgood

Ten-year-old children are not "normal things": they are creatures from hell that have clawed their way into our universe, and you are being perfectly sensible to feel anxiety about them. They probably were, in fact, mocking you (Why else should a gang of them accost you? What business is it of theirs what your name is?) preparatory to a bit of bullying. You were lucky not to be attacked and robbed (or worse): mobs of ANY age ought to trigger your warning systems. I'm sorry that the world works this way, but you only have to read the newspaper to see that it does. Trust your feelings.


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## Tad

My wife has moderate anxiety issues--not crippling in general, but you won't get her driving or going down an escalator, amongst other things, and after dealing with most people for any length of time she'll be exhausted from being at such a high level of anxiety. I've gotten used to working around it over the years--and needless to say, have gotten reasonably good at not triggering it much (although some times I figure she'll just have to cope.....can't totally avoid every stressful situation, but I've learned to just steer us through those ones mostly).


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## loopytheone

Thank you both for the advice, it does make me feel better to know that I am not completely crazy for being so anxious about things like this. 

Tad, I understand your wife not wanting to drive completely. I have a driving license and have had since I was 20 and I can count the number of times I have driven since on one hand (it has happened twice). I only started getting driving lessons as my mother forced me into it and I'd have panic attacks before even getting in the car... I ended up having five driving tests before I finally passed, mainly because of the anxiety. On my first test I stopped the car to do one of the manoeuvres and just burst into tears I was so scared. Frankly I am a danger to myself and others on the road just from being so anxious and it was a complete blight on my life having to have driving lessons all those years, not to mention I had to pay for it myself. 

Honestly, I wish at age 18 I had not been so afraid of my mother and had the confidence to tell her I didn't want to drive. But we live and learn and I have a very pretty pink ID card now that also lets me drive a car in an emergency. :happy:


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## Dr. Feelgood

Your driving story reminds me of my own. When I was sixteen I took a drivers' education course at school, which involved my driving a car , along with three other kids, under the watchful eye (and duplicate controls) of an instructor. I could barely function behind the wheel. I suddenly realized how big and powerful the car was and how much damage it could do in unskillful hands (i.e. mine). Week after week I bumbled and froze, and I nearly flunked the course; somehow, in the last two weeks I developed enough confidence to do the job right. Your 'problem' may simply be that you are intelligent enough to foresee possible threats before they arrive: I have noticed that really stupid people invariably assume success will be theirs, no matter what, _because they want it_!


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## moore2me

All quotes have been snipped by M2M to illustrate points . . . .



loopytheone said:


> I know there is a thread about panic attacks on here but I couldn't find a recent one about anxiety in general. I have an anxiety disorder, especially social anxiety, and sometimes I just want a place to talk about it.
> 
> but when I got out there I saw one of the things I fear most... children. There was a group of about five of them and they looked around ten years old. My heart was pounding as I went to my bin and they all stared at me... then they started talking to me, asking me my name and what year at school I am in (seriously, I am 24 years old but I get asked that a lot). And I can't describe how anxious it made me, I feel like they are/were mocking me and waiting for me to come back out... the rubbish is going to have to wait, I can't go back out there not-knowing if they might be hanging around somewhere near that I can't see them.



*Ten yr olds often run in packs (like gophers or crows). It takes a little (but not too much) quick thinking to stay ahead and somewhat control them. Just remember you are older, wiser, stronger and can call 911 very fast. But, the best way to control these "little treasures" when they are congregated in a small pack is to tempt them with something they really like. I suggest cash. 

At that age you can generally use small amount to achieve desired results. I would tell them "I need some help putting this trash in the dumpster. Can I hire a few of you guys to help me carry some stuff?" I would not let them in my house, just let them handle the stuff outside. Also, make sure the stuff is in a closed, black bag so they can't see what's inside and won't be tempted to scavenge it. Also, try and give each little helper the same amount - tell them up front too - I'd try a dollar minimum.*



Dr. Feelgood said:


> Ten-year-old children are not "normal things": they are creatures from hell that have clawed their way into our universe, and you are being perfectly sensible to feel anxiety about them. They probably were, in fact, mocking you (Why else should a gang of them accost you? *What business is it of theirs what your name is?)* preparatory to a bit of bullying. You were lucky not to be attacked and robbed (or worse): mobs of ANY age ought to trigger your warning systems.



*Dr Feelgood is a wise magi and knowledgeable about the demons that inhabit the netherworld. I can compare him to Constantine. May I add that they reason minor demons want your name is because they have more powers to control you when they have your name. You just get their name too. Say "My name is ______(lie - make on up if you think they are from hell), What's your name?" *



Tad said:


> My wife has moderate anxiety issues--not crippling in general, but you won't get her driving or going down an escalator, amongst other things, and after dealing with most people for any length of time she'll be exhausted from being at such a high level of anxiety. I've gotten used to working around it over the years--and needless to say, have gotten reasonably good at not triggering it much (although some times I figure she'll just have to cope.....can't totally avoid every stressful situation, but I've learned to just steer us through those ones mostly).





loopytheone said:


> Thank you both for the advice, it does make me feel better to know that I am not completely crazy for being so anxious about things like this.
> 
> Tad, I understand your wife not wanting to drive completely. I have a driving license and have had since I was 20 and I can count the number of times I have driven since on one hand (it has happened twice). I only started getting driving lessons as my mother forced me into it and I'd have panic attacks before even getting in the car*... I ended up having five driving tests before I finally passed, mainly because of the anxiety. On my first test I stopped the car to do one of the turns and just burst into tears I was so scared. Frankly I am a danger to myself and others on the road *just from being so anxious and it was a complete blight on my life having to have driving lessons all those years, not to mention I had to pay for it myself.
> 
> Honestly, I wish at age 18 I had not been so afraid of my mother and had the confidence to tell her I didn't want to drive. But we live and learn and I have a very pretty pink ID card now that also lets me drive a car in an emergency. :happy:





Dr. Feelgood said:


> Your driving story reminds me of my own. When I was sixteen I took a drivers' education course at school, which involved my driving a car , along with three other kids, under the watchful eye (and duplicate controls) of an instructor. I could barely function behind the wheel. I suddenly realized how big and powerful the car was and how much damage it could do in unskillful hands (i.e. mine). Week after week I bumbled and froze, and I nearly flunked the course; somehow, in the last two weeks I developed enough confidence to do the job right. Your 'problem' may simply be that you are intelligent enough to foresee possible threats before they arrive: I have noticed that really stupid people invariably assume success will be theirs, no matter what, _because they want it_!



*Well Loopy,
I must say that the less people driving on the road, the better the environment is and the artic glaciers get to live a little long. But, I would not deny the pleasure of piloting a thousand+ pounds of steel at a lethal speed to anyone. I am sorry that this image is seared on your mind and is curbing your driving experience.

But, keep in mind fast driving is a traditional way of blowing off steam in America. It's fun, it's a little bit of danger, and it's legal (as long as you are not drunk, not exceeding legal speed limits, obey other traffic rules, and don't hurt anyone). If you still don't want to drive, then hiring a taxi, riding a bike, or driving a scooter are alternatives and will certainly save you money. (One car payments (or Mr M2M's) can often exceed $600 a month for six years, plus insurance which is usually around $100 a month - and don't forget the expense of gasoline. It takes about $60 to $70 to fill up one of our vehicles.) So, not having a personal car to support would give me around $820 a month in my pocket for retirement, or for cruises, or for shoes, or Old Charter 10. *


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## Jah

Obviously not driving due to mental illness is more common than I thought. I have that same problem. I turned up to the driving test and was so nervous that the testing officer refused to test me. Apparently it's necessary to show confidence and be calm when driving. Anxiety isn't the only reason I can't drive though and I have visual hallucinations that make driving a very dangerous thing for me.


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## lypeaches

In the last 10 years or so I have experienced anxiety attacks. There was one year that was really pretty bad, and driving was very difficult. I did develop a fear of driving over a bridge, which continues to this day. I can do it now, but damn, it's not easy...heart races, sweaty palms, etc. It's bad enough that I will drive a different route if it's at all reasonable. I'm still a little nonplussed by this, because I used to love driving, doing long road trips, etc. I don't know what flipped the switch in my head to become anxious about it now. 

At one point, I could see myself going down the path to full on agoraphobia. The thing that helped me was swimming laps, frequently. Something about the zen-like solitude combined with physical movement that clicked with my mind. I don't know if it would work for anyone else. I suspect everybody has to find their own thing. I have tremendous sympathy for those who suffer with anxiety...its sucks the big one. There are some situations which you *know* will trigger it, but then there are also just random attacks that you have no control over. It's no fun at all.


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## lille

Dr. Feelgood said:


> Ten-year-old children are not "normal things": they are creatures from hell that have clawed their way into our universe, and you are being perfectly sensible to feel anxiety about them. They probably were, in fact, mocking you (Why else should a gang of them accost you? What business is it of theirs what your name is?) preparatory to a bit of bullying. You were lucky not to be attacked and robbed (or worse): mobs of ANY age ought to trigger your warning systems. I'm sorry that the world works this way, but you only have to read the newspaper to see that it does. Trust your feelings.



Do you spend any time around children? They're curious by nature and ask a million questions about everything, including people's names. The average group of ten year olds is in no way dangerous, just obnoxious.

Loopy, if they come by again moore2me gave some good advise about asking their names and giving them tasks. Kids that age love to be given little responsibilities that make them feel capable and more grown up. However, if you do bribe them expect them to show up again in the future looking for more.


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## MattB

Thanks for posting this thread Loopy, I have anxiety myself and it's been really difficult lately. Sucks that there are so many here that have it, but I always find it reassuring to hear others talk openly about it.

I won't get into all of my particular triggers, but interesting to see so many people mention driving. I was a fairly late driver (early 20's) even though I took driver's ed in high school. I literally couldn't bring myself to take the test until I got to the point where I desperately needed a car for work. Once I did I learned to love driving, although admittedly it does cause my issues sometimes since I have to travel far for work a few times a week. A few of my driving routes involve rather long stretches in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes I crank the tunes, roll down the windows and love it. Other times, well, it freaks me out. Tad- I have escalator issues too, as well as stairs. 

I've been in sales for years, and I'm pretty good at it when the anxiety doesn't kick in. It's a mixed blessing that I can work from home if needed because on the one hand if I'm having a bad day I can stay in, but on the other hand I know that I should be out so that causes stress which leads to more anxiety. Just can't win sometimes.

It's really messed up to have to deal with this. I gave a presentation in front of my company last year- no problem felt great. A couple of weeks ago visiting a client, (one person) I had to excuse myself from the meeting since I felt I was going to pass out. 

I started running lately, and although I still don't love it (nor do my knees) I will say it's helping with the anxiety.


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## loopytheone

You are welcome Matt, I thought it would be helpful to have a thread where we could share out experiences and thank you for sharing yours. 

I know I have good days and bad days as well, some days I will be okay and able to cope but other days I just can't cope with it at all. 

That said, does anybody else here find that the idea of something makes you more anxious than the thing itself? Like right now I am waiting for a friend to come round and I am moderately anxious, hyped up and very jumpy and stressed because I know he is going to come in, I am going to have to see him and talk to him and be in the same room as him and that all seems overwhelming and scary. All my family have gone out as well and I feel like a little lost sheep. But I know that once he gets here it will be cool and we'll have fun and laugh and talk about pokemon and science and watch him get covered in kisses from my dogs. I've known this guy as my best friend from uni, so over 6 years now and still the thought of having to see him and talk to him makes me so anxious. I just wish I could get rid of the stupid anxiety at the thought of doing anything.


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## Dr. Feelgood

loopytheone said:


> That said, does anybody else here find that the idea of something makes you more anxious than the thing itself?



I think everybody has this experience at least once in a while ... or perhaps had it as a child, when we hadn't developed coping strategies yet. Remember when you were little and had to get a shot at the doctor's office? I remember how terrified I was, and how much it hurt! And now I go in every October to get my flu shot, and it's no big deal: it doesn't really hurt -- just the slightest pinprick -- yet it's exactly the same sensation I found agonizing as a child. The pain was in my body, but the _suffering_ was in my mind.


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## lypeaches

loopytheone said:


> You are welcome Matt, I thought it would be helpful to have a thread where we could share out experiences and thank you for sharing yours.
> 
> I know I have good days and bad days as well, some days I will be okay and able to cope but other days I just can't cope with it at all.
> 
> That said, does anybody else here find that the idea of something makes you more anxious than the thing itself? Like right now I am waiting for a friend to come round and I am moderately anxious, hyped up and very jumpy and stressed because I know he is going to come in, I am going to have to see him and talk to him and be in the same room as him and that all seems overwhelming and scary. All my family have gone out as well and I feel like a little lost sheep. But I know that once he gets here it will be cool and we'll have fun and laugh and talk about pokemon and science and watch him get covered in kisses from my dogs. I've known this guy as my best friend from uni, so over 6 years now and still the thought of having to see him and talk to him makes me so anxious. I just wish I could get rid of the stupid anxiety at the thought of doing anything.



All the time . For seemingly simple things, like going to the market. 

Over the years, I try my best to just put myself on "automatic", and not entertain internal discussions about said activity, because they are stress inducing. Helps me to make lists of tasks, and then just follow the list, deviations not allowed (within reason of course). Then, like you said, the actual thing is not so bad, and I get positive reinforcement that way.


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## Tad

Loopy, let us just say that any out of town trips I take with my wife had better be worth it, because for the 36 hours before we leave I just have to assume that she is not responsible for anything she says or does--anxiety just drives her a bit nuts.

Once we are five minutes into the trip, all is well.

Dinner with my family isn't quite as stressful, but same general pattern.


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## AuntHen

Dr. Feelgood said:


> Ten-year-old children are not "normal things": they are creatures from hell that have clawed their way into our universe, and you are being perfectly sensible to feel anxiety about them. They probably were, in fact, mocking you (Why else should a gang of them accost you? What business is it of theirs what your name is?) preparatory to a bit of bullying. You were lucky not to be attacked and robbed (or worse): mobs of ANY age ought to trigger your warning systems. I'm sorry that the world works this way, but you only have to read the newspaper to see that it does. Trust your feelings.




I think maybe you are getting them mixed up with the 12 year olds? While kids can be cruel during the prepubescent/pubescent years, this age group (as well as many of them) are highly inquisitive. Or better yet, nosey!

Loopy, I am sure you have good reasons for your anxiety but children will surprise you. I think it would actually be a good learning experience (as long as they are just asking questions, casually talking, not being rude or disrespectful, etc) to engage in conversation with them.

I understand anxiety with kids as I have it with teens but after working as a teacher for a year (which, you want to talk about anxiety), I have come to really appreciate and endear them all!

Just my 2 cents.


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## Tad

I like kids, even the more difficult ones seem to have redeeming qualities. But _packs _of them can get a bit.....challenging. They can get so busy in one-upping each other that that they forget to keep a grip on reality. In several years of coaching soccer I quickly learned to put groups of friends on the field at different times--they would always moan about it, but it was better for the whole team to break them up.


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## AuntHen

I understand that but all she said was that they were asking her questions. She said she felt they were mocking her... either they talked to her in a way that made her feel that way or her anxiety led her to feel that way regardless of how they were talking.

Maybe they thought she was just interesting and was one of the few neighbors they didn't know. Anyway, I don't minimize what you felt but just saying it could be a stepping stone to engage in things that are a bit out of your *comfort zone* once in awhile, to help get through or over the anxiety. That age group, I have found, is still full of innocence and wonder


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## loopytheone

Hey guys, thank you for all the advice. 

I am not great at reading people's intentions, especially when I am anxious and I have an innate fear of children after being really tormented when I was growing up. I am short and look younger than I actually am so I tend to make an easy target for people. 

I actually don't mind kids that much if there is one of them or one or two of them. But there was a whole gang of them I don't know if I just think like this because of my anxiety but I have found that one kid is fine, two kids is fine, and a group of kids take on a pack mentality and do things that they would never normally do alone. One of the other kids was telling the one talking to me to 'stop it and leave her alone' so I am guessing they were trying to mock me in some way. But like I said I am super sensitive to it because I am expecting to be mock or have things thrown at me and such so I'm not good at objectively analysing what they are actually saying/doing.


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## Dr. Feelgood

Remember, too, that fat9276's experiences with large numbers of kids were as a teacher: someone in a position of authority with the power of the school establishment supporting her. As such, her situation was considerably different from yours. This is not to discount her advice, but merely to point out that circumstances alter cases, and you have to make your decisions on a case-by-case basis. Don't be afraid to listen to your intuition.


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## moore2me

Hi Doc - Me again,

I have some partial info on the painful shot thingy and the changes over the years. Every since I was sweet 14 I worked in hematology (blood letting) labs in hospitals. Since I started out as a unpaid grunt (or candy striper) I got the lowest job they had - I washed blood letting equipment. I washed glass syringes, metal needles, glass slides, spinal tap needles, and glass urine collection bottles and all sorts of test tubes. Here's the scoop - they were reusing needles for all kinds of shots. And dopey little people like me were washing them in black "concrete" sinks. And then I sterilized everything in an autoclave.

You can only imagine how many needle tips were blunted by all that handling and washing I did. Not on purpose of course, but my hands were soapy and slippery and sometimes I wore Playtex gloves. This was eons before AIDS - we still had hepatitis, but gloves were usually optional. A shot with those reused needles probably did hurt more.

I continued my bloodletting experience into a job after high school at my local hemalotology lab. Because I had experience, I again got the coveted job of cleaning needles, glass syringes, spinal tap equipment, petri dishes and all manner or used glassware. Again this was before AIDS, stuff I washed (that I didn't break) was autoclaved for reuse. I continued to accidentally bang stuff around (I was a teenager) and dropped some things I had to reclean. I admit some needles were accidentally blunted or even curved. I'm sure if the doc or nurse noticed anything major wrong with them she/he would use another sharp (unless the shot was already drawn up with medicine).

Fast forward to the last thirty years or so. We began making needles that we not reusable. It became too dangerous to mess with sharps due to the AIDs epidemic. We also became better at making sharps - we have needles now that are almost as small and painless as a mosquitos' beak. I gave myself injections for twenty years (probably as penance from fate) and I couldn't feel anything when I injected. 

So, yes those shots probably hurt more when we were little. I didn't mean to dull the needles but it happened.


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## Dr. Feelgood

So much for my machismo (sigh). I'm glad to have this info, though -- especially since it comes from someone who _knows_! :bow:


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## AuntHen

Dr. Feelgood said:


> Remember, too, *that fat9276's experiences with large numbers of kids were as a teacher*: someone in a position of authority with the power of the school establishment supporting her. As such, her situation was considerably different from yours. This is not to discount her advice, but merely to point out that circumstances alter cases, and you have to make your decisions on a case-by-case basis. Don't be afraid to listen to your intuition.



Well no, I said I was a teacher, true but that was just one set of experiences. I have worked with children in different scenarios (where there was no "authority" per se) since I was about 15 or 16. I am just very protective towards them. 

And yes, Loopy, you know your limitations and I have not walked in your shoes. I do, however understand anxiety, as I have it in social situations and from time to time in public settings. I know how paralyzing and stressing it can be, so I feel for you. I truly do. *Hugs*


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## loopytheone

I saw a psychiatrist today and apart from being annoying and telling me I am not trying hard enough and need to take responsibility for myself (because having chronic fatigue syndrome and panic attacks whenever I leave the house makes me so inclined to try) she changed my medication to one that is actually an anti-anxiety drug. And she is going to contact a psychiatrist for me so hopefully I can get some help with my anxiety. 

It irks me when they say I am not trying hard enough. Until my fiance dumped me out of the blue, said the worst things possible to me and destroyed all my plans for the future I was doing really well. I had just increased my hours at my voluntary job, I was working 6 hour shifts which doesn't sound like much but was something a year ago I never thought was possible for me and I was working 10 hours a week. But all the stress and upset of what happened with the ex has made my anxiety come back to the point where I can't even sit quietly in my own house without having panic attacks for no real reason. I think I should be supported for being aware enough to know that I need help in recovering and getting to a point where I can work on my anxiety by myself again, not told that I am not trying hard enough just because I had a perfectly understandable relapse...


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## lille

loopytheone said:


> I saw a psychiatrist today and apart from being annoying and telling me I am not trying hard enough and need to take responsibility for myself (because having chronic fatigue syndrome and panic attacks whenever I leave the house makes me so inclined to try) she changed my medication to one that is actually an anti-anxiety drug. And she is going to contact a psychiatrist for me so hopefully I can get some help with my anxiety.
> 
> It irks me when they say I am not trying hard enough. Until my fiance dumped me out of the blue, said the worst things possible to me and destroyed all my plans for the future I was doing really well. I had just increased my hours at my voluntary job, I was working 6 hour shifts which doesn't sound like much but was something a year ago I never thought was possible for me and I was working 10 hours a week. But all the stress and upset of what happened with the ex has made my anxiety come back to the point where I can't even sit quietly in my own house without having panic attacks for no real reason. I think I should be supported for being aware enough to know that I need help in recovering and getting to a point where I can work on my anxiety by myself again, not told that I am not trying hard enough just because I had a perfectly understandable relapse...



I'm sorry your psychiatrist was not at all understanding. Psychiatrists go to medical school which tends to affect the way they think about mental illness especially compared to counselors who are trained in a much more holistic, humanistic approach.


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## Jah

loopytheone said:


> I saw a psychiatrist today and apart from being annoying and telling me I am not trying hard enough and need to take responsibility for myself (because having chronic fatigue syndrome and panic attacks whenever I leave the house makes me so inclined to try) she changed my medication to one that is actually an anti-anxiety drug. And she is going to contact a psychiatrist for me so hopefully I can get some help with my anxiety.
> 
> It irks me when they say I am not trying hard enough. Until my fiance dumped me out of the blue, said the worst things possible to me and destroyed all my plans for the future I was doing really well. I had just increased my hours at my voluntary job, I was working 6 hour shifts which doesn't sound like much but was something a year ago I never thought was possible for me and I was working 10 hours a week. But all the stress and upset of what happened with the ex has made my anxiety come back to the point where I can't even sit quietly in my own house without having panic attacks for no real reason. I think I should be supported for being aware enough to know that I need help in recovering and getting to a point where I can work on my anxiety by myself again, not told that I am not trying hard enough just because I had a perfectly understandable relapse...



Psychiatrists can be awful. The one that I see is awful to me too. In fact, I've never heard of a nice one. When I wasn't working they said they expected me to work full time. Now that I'm working part time they have said that full time is too much for me. I think psychiatrists just get a power trip and enjoy being nasty and that's why they go for the job.


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## loopytheone

I went shopping today with my mother and had a few episodes. Firstly when she was asking me to cross the road by yelling and flailing her arms in my personal space whilst everyone else wandered around and stared at us, apparently not understanding that this mad me anxious and when I said 'just stop' I wasn't saying it for a laugh. 

I also had a panic/anxiety attack in the changing rooms. There were no members of staff around to count how many clothes I had or anything so I just took my clothes and went into the changing room. Which was fine except that the 'used clothes rack' for want of a better word, as in the corridor bit next to my cubicle. Whilst I was trying on the last of my clothes an employee came to sort those clothes and the noise and the fact that there was somebody out there so close to me totally freaked me out. I somehow got it into my head that because I hadn't asked anybody if I could be in there then I would be in trouble if they found me and I couldn't even bring myself to call to my mother for help. So for about ten minutes I just listened to the woman moving the clothes and kept trying to peek out of the door to see if she was gone yet, getting more and more worried all the time. In the end I managed to open the door and call my mother and eventually manage to convince her to come into the cubicle with me so I could calm down. Didn't help all that much as she kept asking me questions all the time when I was trying to calm down, despite how many times I asked her to stop and how many times I have told her in the past that asking me questions in that situation is the worst thing she can do. 

I managed to get out of the supermarket and go home, all weak and light headed and trembling all over but I am feeling better now. I guess in a way it was a victory because I managed to convince myself to go shopping and stay out until I had tried on everything I wanted instead of going home scared.


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## lypeaches

Good for you Loopy, that definitely is a victory! 

No one can raise anxiety faster or higher than a mother, in my experience.


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## lizzie_lotr

lypeaches said:


> Good for you Loopy, that definitely is a victory!
> 
> No one can raise anxiety faster or higher than a mother, in my experience.




I completely agree with you! Mothers have that unique ability to raise anxiety!! 

Good job Loopy!!! Keep up the awesome work!!


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## loopytheone

lypeaches said:


> Good for you Loopy, that definitely is a victory!
> 
> No one can raise anxiety faster or higher than a mother, in my experience.





lizzie_lotr said:


> I completely agree with you! Mothers have that unique ability to raise anxiety!!
> 
> Good job Loopy!!! Keep up the awesome work!!



Thank you both, that means a lot! :happy:


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## moore2me

Jah, I firmly believe (along with many others) that problems in the mind 
are organic in nature. In that I mean they are chemical or physical or disease or trauma or some other damage in origin. You can compare them to diabetes or a broken arm.

As with diabetes or a broken arm, there are needed treatments for both. Ignoring the treatments may cause the patient long term harm. As with 
physical health issues, mental health issues usually cannot be healed by the patient alone (ie. "Get a grip on yourself.")

And as with physical health problems, it doesn't matter where you are located (your home, in your car, at your office). The same set of problems just follow you where ever you go.


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## Jah

moore2me said:


> Jah, I firmly believe (along with many others) that problems in the mind
> are organic in nature. In that I mean they are chemical or physical or disease or trauma or some other damage in origin. You can compare them to diabetes or a broken arm.
> 
> As with diabetes or a broken arm, there are needed treatments for both. Ignoring the treatments may cause the patient long term harm. As with
> physical health issues, mental health issues usually cannot be healed by the patient alone (ie. "Get a grip on yourself.")
> 
> And as with physical health problems, it doesn't matter where you are located (your home, in your car, at your office). The same set of problems just follow you where ever you go.



Huh?? What?? How is this in any way relevant to what I've said in this thread or any other.


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## loopytheone

I was just talking to my sister after she got back from the doctor and apparently her doctor told her that the progesterone-only pill can have anxiety and depression as side effect. I don't take the pill but I did have my first progesterone contraceptive injection a couple of months ago which kinda coincides with my anxiety getting worse... I thought, surely the doctors wouldn't be stupid enough to give somebody who regularly sees them for anxiety and depression a drug that has that as a side effect, right? Then I remembered that they had my sister on the combination pill for about three years before they realised that the type of migraines she's been having even since she was a little kid mean that taking the combination pill puts her at about 10 times the risk of stroke. 

So yeah, I am definitely asking them about that.

...after I have been to the job centre to explain that no, I still can't work, then go to an assessment to explain to the people at the benefits place that no, I still can't work. Until I can consistently walk around my own estate without having panic attacks I am pretty sure working is off the cards...


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## Jah

I was put on the pill a few months ago for hormone reasons and the doctor warned me about it possibly making my depression and anxiety worse. I was bleeding so much that I didn't care about the risks. I didn't end up having problems with it anyway. Did the doctor give you any warning? If not, then they should have. It really sucks to have panic attacks. Before I went on medication I had an average of six a day and all the help I got in therapy didn't work.


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## lille

I'm writing my last paper of the year tonight and I have an interview for an internship on Tuesday and my anxiety is through the roof. It shouldn't be, it's not like the interview is tomorrow and the paper isn't very difficult. And the anxiety is making it hard to focus on the paper which of course increases my anxiety. Even going for a walk in the sunshine didn't help.


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## penguin

When I went back on birth control a couple of years ago, I tried ones that worked wonderfully for me before I got pregnant, only to find that they spun me into episodes of horrible anxiety and depression. I had no idea that pregnancy would alter my system that way! I tried the NuvaRing, which had me frazzled and anxious for the entire month. I'd used it for three years previously and had no side effects and loved it. I switched back to the pill I'd been on before that, a triphasil one, and it sent me plummeting down into very dark depression where it got worse as the hormones increased. If I missed a pill, I was fine. I stopped that after 2.5 months because it wasn't worth it. I haven't tried any hormonal birth control since, and quite frankly I'm scared to. 

I was on Prozac for about six months recently, and part of the reason I went for help was because anxiety was rearing up a lot more, along with the depression. Going shopping was like going through hell, which scared me because it had never been like that before. There were too many people around, it was too noisy, and I just had to get out. It didn't help that this was leading up to Christmas, so it was always crowded. I stopped taking it about two months ago now, and I'm feeling good, though I do still get the occasional bout of anxiety. 

Something I've found that's helped me a lot is to crochet. I love to crochet anyway, but if I sit and focus on that when my mind is racing and trying to work me up like that, then I find it easier to get through it and calm down. I guess because it's keeping my hands, and eyes busy, that it helps soothe my mind. I had a few things happening last Thursday, and even though I knew that they'd be fine and that I was getting worried for nothing, I was almost overwhelmed by anxiety. I had to stop doing what I working on and sat down to crochet for an hour. I felt a lot better after that.

Finding a hobby like that, to keep hands and eyes busy, might help. I remember reading something years ago about some kind of therapy where you would talk about your issues while you had to focus your eyes on certain things. I don't remember what it's called, but keeping your eyes busy like that seemed to help. I'm all for people taking up crochet, it's usually easy and portable, and you can have a great sense of accomplishment when you've completed a piece.


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## lille

penguin said:


> Finding a hobby like that, to keep hands and eyes busy, might help. I remember reading something years ago about some kind of therapy where you would talk about your issues while you had to focus your eyes on certain things. I don't remember what it's called, but keeping your eyes busy like that seemed to help. I'm all for people taking up crochet, it's usually easy and portable, and you can have a great sense of accomplishment when you've completed a piece.



I think you're thinking of EMDR, which does involve eye movement but it's for trauma reprocessing. The idea is that traumatic memories aren't processed correctly by the brain, causing PTSD symptoms and moving the eyes rapidly back and forth while recalling the memories helps the brain to reprocess the memories correctly.


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## Saisha

penguin said:


> Finding a hobby like that, to keep hands and eyes busy, might help. I remember reading something years ago about some kind of therapy where you would talk about your issues while you had to focus your eyes on certain things. I don't remember what it's called, but keeping your eyes busy like that seemed to help. I'm all for people taking up crochet, it's usually easy and portable, and you can have a great sense of accomplishment when you've completed a piece.



Wish I could rep you  Great idea 

There are many studies out that have proven how beneficial being creative is good to help reduce stress, lower blood pressure, improve eye/hand coordination, helping with dementia etc. It's just not keeping one's eyes busy but also having to focus on the here and now / repetition factor vs. dwelling on problems etc.


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## Jah

penguin said:


> Finding a hobby like that, to keep hands and eyes busy, might help.



While the relaxation exercises never worked me. Keeping myself busy like that is what worked for me and helped me get through a lot of anxiety.


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## penguin

lille said:


> I think you're thinking of EMDR, which does involve eye movement but it's for trauma reprocessing. The idea is that traumatic memories aren't processed correctly by the brain, causing PTSD symptoms and moving the eyes rapidly back and forth while recalling the memories helps the brain to reprocess the memories correctly.



That would be it! I don't know if it would work well for those with severe anxiety. My anxiety has never been in the severe range so I don't know what that's like, so I'm not sure how well it would work.



Saisha said:


> Wish I could rep you  Great idea
> 
> There are many studies out that have proven how beneficial being creative is good to help reduce stress, lower blood pressure, improve eye/hand coordination, helping with dementia etc. It's just not keeping one's eyes busy but also having to focus on the here and now / repetition factor vs. dwelling on problems etc.



I feel so much calmer after crocheting for a while. It forces me to pay attention something other than what's working me up, and I get something tangible at the end of it.



Jah said:


> While the relaxation exercises never worked me. Keeping myself busy like that is what worked for me and helped me get through a lot of anxiety.



I'm glad it's worked for you  I'm a big fan of crochet and suggest people take it up all the time, even more so when it can have a calming effect like this.


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## lille

EMDR is more for trauma processing than anxiety. 

As a future expressive arts therapist I'm a huge proponent of creative hobbies as coping mechanisms. Drawing, painting, playing or listening to music, writing, sewing, knitting, crocheting, dancing, etc. I need to be better about blockin out one for me to be creative. I had a weekly art journal last semester and that was good for me.


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## Tad

Anyone have advice on helping someone with anxiety get through university? My son is kind of spiraling -- distracting himself from academics so as not to stress out about it, then not doing well, then stressing more because of that so avoiding thinking about it harder .... (Plus has non-verbal learning disorder, which essentially means he only works well with what he can express in words/logically, and isn't very self-aware of his own state or generally good at picking things up intuitively (which adds stress when dealing with people ..)

At this point trying to keep him from complete flame out this term (today he panicked and dropped one class after seeing he had 49% on the first quizz). We are trying to get him to talk with someone professional, but that takes time to get arranged. In the meantime any advice about how to talk about such things in ways that may penetrate/be absorbed?


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## DragonFly

I think a Mala Mantra type of meditation might help with the anxiety. You can google and see videos and how to explaination. I’m a fan of the traditional Buddhist mantras. For me it is a combination of the physical manipulation of the mala, the complexity of the spoken mantra and the focusing of the meaning, it takes all of my brainpower and actually gives me a break. I’ve taught several people this method and it has done a good job in lowering anxiety. Sort of stops the freak out in real time. Most mantra cycles can be done in 8-15 minutes. My favorite


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## Shotha

Tad said:


> Anyone have advice on helping someone with anxiety get through university?



He should try to find a peer support group for anxiety, where he lives most of the time. I've found that the peer support model works well.

Exam strategy might be helpful. He could make a revision plan. Part of this should be to work out a timetable for revision and stick to it. He might need someone to make sure that he sticks to it. His mother or someone in an anxiety peer support group could do that. He should plan to do the most important parts of his revision first, i.e. the parts that gain most marks or the ones on which he is weak at but needs to pass the exam. Then, if he just runs out of time, it's not a major disaster. (When helping Sanskrit students plan for an exam recently, I put into there plan to learn the present tense endings before the past tense endings, because the present tense endings are used for the future as well. So, the present tense endings give you twice the number of verb forms and hence twice the marks as the past tense does.) The second part of exam strategy is to use all of the available time. Don't rush out as soon as you've finished answering the questions. If there is time left, check the answers. Look for silly mistakes. Double check everything that you know your not so good at. If there is still time left, put the exam paper and your answers, face down and think about anything but the exam. This is a good time for mantras, meditation, etc. Just before the time runs out, check your answers again. It's surprising how many mistakes you notice, when you look at your answers the second time, with a fresh mind from taking a break.

I hope that this helps.


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## Shh! Don’t tell!

Gotta vent a little:

I’m a little stressed out from being busy and my OCD suddenly decided that the little rash on my arm is because everything around me is covered in flesh eating acid. Fabulous. Just what I wanted right now.


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## Tracyarts

I've been having a lot of panic attacks lately. Especially while sleeping. I'll wake up to the start of a full blown panic attack. 

My primary care provider feels that it's related to perimenopause. Maybe, but it's still getting really old.


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## AmyJo1976

I've had that happen a few times lately as well. Mostly if I dose off on the couch. I'll wake up to my heart racing and be really hot. It has happened while driving once too. I was on a curvy road and started to feel panic. I had to pull over until it passed. I am definitely going to have to see the doctor about it. Happening while driving is really scary!


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## DragonFly

AmyJo1976 said:


> I've had that happen a few times lately as well. Mostly if I dose off on the couch. I'll wake up to my heart racing and be really hot. It has happened while driving once too. I was on a curvy road and started to feel panic. I had to pull over until it passed. I am definitely going to have to see the doctor about it. Happening while driving is really scary!



My panic attacks have happened at the worst times. I was on a work trip and a bunch of us were stuffed in a rental car about to go through the tunnels to get to downtown Pittsburgh. My boss was in the car along with two clients. When I saw the tunnels I began to sweat, hyperventilate, and got this feeling like I wanted to remove all of my skin. I made them pull the car over to the side of the road and I got out of the car. I then spent the next hour sitting on the side of the road refusing to get in the car. The Dr had already prescribed Xanax for me which I took when things got bad. It took like three times my normal dosage to get me loopy enough to get back into the car. Yay for embarrassing myself in front of everyone!


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## ODFFA

Social anxiety confession incoming...

I haven't had *this* much anticipatory anxiety in a long time. There's this virtual social event happening on Sunday, and I've lost hours of sleep over it already. In an attempt at self-compassion, I can often give myself the radical acceptance of saying, "If you only manage to string a few words together and just breathed the rest of the time, you did good. It's an achievement for someone with social anxiety. You're ok." It's not working this time. The stakes feel too high. There's someone very, very dear to me that I am petrified of disappointing or embarrassing. 

All this is leading into some depressive thinking too. Things like, I must be unworthy of love, unworthy of friendship, unworthy of hanging out with people who seem a million times more well-adjusted than me, because of my anxiety. 

Guess I just needed to get that off my chest at 4 AM. And, like Loopy in her original post, I was wondering if anyone else can relate. (Btw, Loopy, thank you for starting this thread.)


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## littlefairywren

((((ODFFA))))


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## Tad

Oh Odette, that sounds awful. Sending as much serenity vibes your way as I can, and I hope you can get some sleep if only from sheer exhaustion. Also hoping that Sunday is far less bad in fact than in anticipation.


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## agouderia

Oh Odette ... I feel for you and can relate so well.

As someone who is hopelessly camera shy, all these virtual events during the pandemic are a major, highly unwelcome challenge for me. While I have absolutely no problem going about social interaction P-to-P - up to speaking to a hall with hundreds of people - a single video-interview makes me panic for days on end. 

But for sake of professional survival, I've had to somehow manage to get into Zoom calls and the like over the past year. 

What helped me was that my best friend - who has no qualms at all of having even the most unattractive pictures of her taken - tutored me online with great patience. Like becoming well acquainted with the technical specifics of each video conference app, ensuring camera angle and background are fine, headset works, adjusting sound, choosing most video-compatible outfit, etc. etc. 

Also - I prepare every call also content-wise meticulously. Where I just need a few notes when discussing the same issue in person or on the phone - for video-conferences I have a precise array of speaking notes, on multi-colored cards, organized along a strategic outline. And still I screwed the most important of all calls up royally because I did something wrong with entering the call via the wrong link.

I'm working on all this continuously, but it doesn't make me happy, it inhibits me professionally and there is nothing I am looking more forward to than being able to simply breeze into a meeting room with my presentation under my arm....

Bonne chance in finding your way of handling this!


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## ODFFA

littlefairywren said:


> ((((ODFFA))))





Tad said:


> Oh Odette, that sounds awful. Sending as much serenity vibes your way as I can, and I hope you can get some sleep if only from sheer exhaustion. Also hoping that Sunday is far less bad in fact than in anticipation.





agouderia said:


> Oh Odette ... I feel for you and can relate so well.
> 
> As someone who is hopelessly camera shy, all these virtual events during the pandemic are a major, highly unwelcome challenge for me. While I have absolutely no problem going about social interaction P-to-P - up to speaking to a hall with hundreds of people - a single video-interview makes me panic for days on end.
> 
> But for sake of professional survival, I've had to somehow manage to get into Zoom calls and the like over the past year.
> 
> What helped me was that my best friend - who has no qualms at all of having even the most unattractive pictures of her taken - tutored me online with great patience. Like becoming well acquainted with the technical specifics of each video conference app, ensuring camera angle and background are fine, headset works, adjusting sound, choosing most video-compatible outfit, etc. etc.
> 
> Also - I prepare every call also content-wise meticulously. Where I just need a few notes when discussing the same issue in person or on the phone - for video-conferences I have a precise array of speaking notes, on multi-colored cards, organized along a strategic outline. And still I screwed the most important of all calls up royally because I did something wrong with entering the call via the wrong link.
> 
> I'm working on all this continuously, but it doesn't make me happy, it inhibits me professionally and there is nothing I am looking more forward to than being able to simply breeze into a meeting room with my presentation under my arm....
> 
> Bonne chance in finding your way of handling this!



Aaah, you're all so lovely. Shucks!
It went better than I expected. Way better, actually. I was very nervous, and I'm sure my shyness came across, as it inevitably does, but I was able to still make coherent sounds come out of my mouth enough times to feel like a regular human!

LFW, I've noticed likes and support from you several times over the years I've been on Dims, even though I have mostly stuck to the BHM board. So much appreciated. You're just awesome.

Taddddd! I hardly even know what to say. I feel so rooted for any time you reply to a post of mine, no matter what kind, or on which topic. Your kindness to me has been astonishing. Thank you for being sooo supportive.

Agouderia! It helps so much to hear about the ways in which you can relate, because you're such a badass and I never would've guessed you could. I wrote down questions I could ask too. More prep than most people would ever think to put into a casual social situation . I also misread "tutored" as "tortured" haha, though I'm sure at times it felt like the same thing to you. Sounds like an awesome friend though.

I especially appreciate what you said about feeling out of your depth and inhibited by having to be on camera. That kind of honesty is refreshingly helpful, because anxiety can take a lot from us, even when we're doing all we can to deal with it. And there's a bit of self-compassion in being real enough to acknowledge that sense of loss. I admire you so much for getting through it the way you have been. Géniale! And I realllllly hope you're able to safely get back to being in your element in doing things person-to-person before too long. <3


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## SensoriumPanda

ODFFA said:


> Aaah, you're all so lovely. Shucks!
> It went better than I expected. Way better, actually. I was very nervous, and I'm sure my shyness came across, as it inevitably does, but I was able to still make coherent sounds come out of my mouth enough times to feel like a regular human!
> 
> LFW, I've noticed likes and support from you several times over the years I've been on Dims, even though I have mostly stuck to the BHM board. So much appreciated. You're just awesome.
> 
> Taddddd! I hardly even know what to say. I feel so rooted for any time you reply to a post of mine, no matter what kind, or on which topic. Your kindness to me has been astonishing. Thank you for being sooo supportive.
> 
> Agouderia! It helps so much to hear about the ways in which you can relate, because you're such a badass and I never would've guessed you could. I wrote down questions I could ask too. More prep than most people would ever think to put into a casual social situation . I also misread "tutored" as "tortured" haha, though I'm sure at times it felt like the same thing to you. Sounds like an awesome friend though.
> 
> I especially appreciate what you said about feeling out of your depth and inhibited by having to be on camera. That kind of honesty is refreshingly helpful, because anxiety can take a lot from us, even when we're doing all we can to deal with it. And there's a bit of self-compassion in being real enough to acknowledge that sense of loss. I admire you so much for getting through it the way you have been. Géniale! And I realllllly hope you're able to safely get back to being in your element in doing things person-to-person before too long. <3



I just want to say, @ODFFA is being EXTREMELY modest when she says she was "able to make coherent sounds come out of my mouth enough times". She was kind, shared gorgeous things to the conversation that really showed that she knows her stuff, and I couldn't help but be in awe of how smooth, calm and collected she was when interacting. Anxiety can absolutely take a lot out of us and it's so wonderful to see the support @ODFFA got from you all. I do feel I should apologize a bit for causing the pressure of such a social situation. In the end, all I can say is that I have nothing but admiration for how this wonderful person handled whatever anxiety she was feeling and showed so coolly how wonderful she is. <3


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## AuntHen

I just want to recommend CBD oil for mild to moderate anxiety (and depression). That is all.


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## Jay78

AuntHen said:


> I just want to recommend CBD oil for mild to moderate anxiety (and depression). That is all.


What brand do you take and how much? I’ve tried it and didn’t feel any better.


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## AuntHen

Jay78 said:


> What brand do you take and how much? I’ve tried it and didn’t feel any better.


Did you use a tincture? You have to play around with dosage to find what works and begin to build up in your system. Like 10 mg for 10 days and then start adjusting up if you need to. I have used a few. I really like Garden of Life.


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## Jay78

AuntHen said:


> Did you use a tincture? You have to play around with dosage to find what works and begin to build up in your system. Like 10 mg for 10 days and then start adjusting up if you need to. I have used a few. I really like Garden of Life.


Thanks for the advice. I think I went too low a dose and stopped too quickly expecting quick results!


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## AuntHen

@Jay78 I am using a new full spectrum sublingual (with THC, the Garden of Life is THC free) right now and it's working but don't want to really recommend yet until I have been on it awhile. Here is a link about dosage and various forms (the brand on this link is not one I have used).








What is the best dosage of CBD for depression related symptoms?


Concerning CBD and Depression the questions asked regularly are: How much CBD should I take for depression? What is the best CBD oil for depression? How does CBD work to effect depression? What are the side effects of CBD? In this FAQ, we will answer the above questions, and walk you through...




greenflowerbotanicals.com


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## Shotha

Would CBD oil help me with feeling run down because of my alcoholic neighbours parting all night most nights?


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## AuntHen

@Shotha It has been used/recommended for general wellbeing and relaxation...
Perhaps in your case the kind you smoke would be more beneficial


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## Shotha

@AuntHen I'll ask my doctor about it. I need something to knock me out, no matter what happens around me at night.


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