# Mutual Attraction?



## Zowie (Feb 28, 2010)

Bon, chéris, I've got a question. Or a matter of opinions.

Being, I guess as you call an FFA (took me forever to figure out all the letter-thingers), how do large men react to girls of various sizes loving them for their physique?
I mean, I've never been an object of desire, so I can image what it'd be like to have someone lusting after you just because of your body. (I KNOW there's more to it than that, but let's just use it as a start)

Are men flattered? Or do you just accept it and think us girls are a bunch of goofs? Does it have to do at all with your self-estime? Because reading around there seems to be quite the spectrum of it, going from "I'm god's gift to women" to "I look terrible and will never find love".

So so so, opinions, speculations, answers. I want them.
And of course girls, tell me what you think, or experiences to do this this. I love hearing people talk.


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## djudex (Feb 28, 2010)

It so completely depends on the guy involved. Someone say like myself or Escapist would probably take it and play right back but there are quite a few heavier gents who have never encountered someone who likes them for their bodies and would likely be completely unaware of any attempts to compliment them and worst case scenario they would think you're making fun of them. It's all about the object of affection in question.


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## Zowie (Feb 28, 2010)

That's my one big fear, that'll I'll compliment a guy and he'll take it badly. It'd break my heart.
Now, what about an emotional level? Does it make anyone feel warm and fuzzy to be considered beautiful?


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## djudex (Feb 28, 2010)

I'm warm and fuzzy all the time, it's a side effect of being a BHM! 

I will say that when I've got someone who thinks I'm hot shit it's like being high, I'm elated and walking on clouds so that probably counts as warm and fuzzy.


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## rabbitislove (Feb 28, 2010)

Gods gift to women eh? You wouldnt be referring to the Escapist would you? (Thats not meant to insult him, I say "thank you" to God every night for 500 lbs of sexy. Chicken, on the other hand, has to donate mass amounts of money to the church and paint the vestibule )

Jokes. Anyway.

Guys Ive been with in real life have pretty much all freaked out, and Ive gotten some pretty nasty reactions and had it used against me. Ive learned not to let it phase me, because no matter how much I got yelled at, I realize a) its not me and b) nasty words are not as painful as hiding who you truely are.


So in the meantime Im a total flamer and dont hide my preferences for the big fellas. (It was a long process. Thanks for helping Dims!!)I hope one day I get to hook up with a BHM who loves his size and into being fat. At the moment, I just kind of put it out there like "You do what makes you happy, but I love the way you look" and "You have a sexy body. Why do you even wear clothes?"


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## Bearsy (Mar 1, 2010)

Honestly for the longest time, whenever someone showed any amount of interest in me I would think that there must be something terribly wrong with her, or that they're just messing with me and I'd back off. 

Quite a fucked up mentality, I know.

But now that I've moved past it, there's no one interested, haha.

I do have a difficult time taking a compliment though. I'm trying to work on that.


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## escapist (Mar 1, 2010)

Wow, um thanks for the honorable mention lol. I was actually put on notice to read this thread hehehe. So far I'll just agree with most everything said. I'm playful anyways so I can't help but knock the ball back if it gets tossed in my court. The more playful the interest the more playful I'll respond. Once though Chicken had to point out to me I was totally bouncing this one girl off my belly and squishing her agaisn't the wall. She's desensitized me so much to the FFA/BHM play stuff that I don't even notice I'm doing it anymore :blush: ....Holy Crap, she just totally caught me right now playing with my belly as I turned to read her what I was posting! I can't believe how oblivious I am to it now. Since I can be so unobservant of my own fat play its actually nice that an FFA can just enjoy as the random fun that it is.




djudex said:


> *I'm warm and fuzzy all the time, it's a side effect of being a BHM!*
> 
> I will say that when I've got someone who thinks I'm hot shit it's like being high, I'm elated and walking on clouds so that probably counts as warm and fuzzy.



I'm hoping they make those NASA liquid cooling suits in Big-Azz-MoFo-Size myself.


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## chicken legs (Mar 1, 2010)

bionic_eggplant said:


> how do large men react to girls of various sizes loving them for their physique?
> 
> Are men flattered? Or do you just accept it and think us girls are a bunch of goofs? Does it have to do at all with your self-estime? Because reading around there seems to be quite the spectrum of it, going from "I'm god's gift to women" to "I look terrible and will never find love".
> 
> .



Hindsight is a funny thing. If a guy knows about me before hand, or knows the "you're hot **drools** look, they usually react really well to me loving their physique. However, when they don't know me, or not good with reading body language (because usually I'm speechless and drooling) they usually run..lol.

OMG...a really good friend and totally Hot Guy picked up on my love of big men (he was big boned but not beefy yet...and got a kick that I really did just like him because of his personality). One night, he asked to meet me at the Hard Rock Casino and ambushed me with this totally hot BHM (about 6'3 350ish dark hair, green eyes...yes I remember it well..lol). I just stared at him like..wooowwaa..and he looked like he was going to eat me alive. I actually stepped behind my friend and peaked at him from around my friends body...lol.

My friend was totally giggling at my reaction because I totally froze. God I wished he prepped me because He was HOT:eat2:. If only we exchanged phone numbers so I could have talked to him because there was no way I could do it in person.

Thats really what got me and Escapist together..talking before hand and chatting a lot via the net and phone (we live in the same town and dated but I'm quiet in person). I would say it took at least 3-6 months for me to be my chatty self and thats only because Escapist takes the edge off by joking with me alot and getting my jokes in turn.:happy:


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## desertcheeseman (Mar 1, 2010)

I think it's hard for many guys to imagine being wanted by women just because of their bodies. In Western culture (and in the US especially) men are conditioned that their attractiveness as mates is solely due to their ability to provide (income, personality, etc.) and that they should not care about their appearance. Men who take pains to make themselves look attractive are labeled by other men (and women also) as "vain" and "metrosexual" and a host of other unflattering names that speak ill of their sexuality. So it's often a hard thing for a man, especially one who has spent a good deal of his life bombarded by cultural messages saying that his fat makes him ugly and that women will only want him for his money, to grasp that a woman could lust after him in the same way that he lusts after them.

I was one of those men. It took me a long time (and a lot of persuasion by motivated females in my life) to realize that I was sexy just the way I was. I also admit that all the praise and comments I get whenever I post a picture of myself on the Dimensions Forums helps a lot too. Knowing this has helped me present a better image of myself by taking good care of my body (through exercise, diet, hygiene, grooming, choosing clothes that accentuate my body rather than hide it, etc). Looking good makes me feel good, and gives me a much more positive outlook on life that enables me to succeed. I think every man needs and wants to hear that he is attractive... but sometimes it's a hard want to admit.


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## desertcheeseman (Mar 1, 2010)

escapist said:


> Once though Chicken had to point out to me I was totally bouncing this one girl off my belly and squishing her against the wall. She's desensitized me so much to the FFA/BHM play stuff that I don't even notice I'm doing it anymore :blush:



I'm a dude and even I have to admit that's pretty hot. No wonder she got jealous.


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## chicken legs (Mar 1, 2010)

desertcheeseman said:


> I'm a dude and even I have to admit that's pretty hot. No wonder she got jealous.



I'm one of the weird ones who don't get jealous over people. I did however get turned on. He was a bit tipsy and I could tell he was totally enjoying engulfing this 5'2 woman in his belly and she was also a bit tipsy and giggling the "omg I'm turned on and don't know what to do about it" giggle. I read alot of FA/FFA type stories in the Library and on other sites and never read anything like what I saw. I just wish I had writing skills...and now I'm turned on again.:eat2:


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## Melian (Mar 1, 2010)

Rabbit and I have had similar experiences - fat guys usually freaked out, got pissed off or had some other negative reaction to me. I'm married now (chunky guy...wouldn't call him "fat" though), and my husband still thinks something is wrong with me for liking fat guys, but it doesn't really bother him. This is the best scenario I've ever experienced :S


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## escapist (Mar 1, 2010)

bionic_eggplant said:


> Bon, chéris, I've got a question. Or a matter of opinions.
> 
> Being, I guess as you call an FFA (took me forever to figure out all the letter-thingers), how do large men react to girls of various sizes loving them for their physique?
> I mean, I've never been an object of desire, so I can image what it'd be like to have someone lusting after you just because of your body. (I KNOW there's more to it than that, but let's just use it as a start)
> ...



I think another good place to look is the Objectification thread. No its not a huge thread right now but it certainly talks about your topic I think. You really seem to have a good grasp of the reactions and its range of possible impacts. I'd have to say over my lifetime I've experienced almost all of them. 

I'm sure plenty here think I'm more in the "I'm god's gift to women" category but it just isn't so. Even when I was 245 lbs. or so I couldn't get the girl I wanted because I was too good looking or something. I was making out with the girl I wanted and she freaked out after about 10-20 minutes. It crushed me she didn't say a word other than "I gotta go". A few days later I was hanging out with her and our friends and I confronted her. She said, "You can have any girl out there, so me?". I was just crushed that she couldn't feel how much I really liked her.

Now after rabbitislove's comment I may need to rethink my position. I may perhaps be ok with the thought that I am God's gift to some women. I'll bet I could increase that factor if I came with a life-sized duplicate in chocolate.




desertcheeseman said:


> I'm a dude and even I have to admit that's pretty hot. No wonder she got jealous.



It wasn't just hot it was just one of many times we've had a lot of fun. Both chicken and the other girl are such cuties, I can't help but want to play with them and bounce them on my belly.



chicken legs said:


> I'm one of the weird ones who don't get jealous over people. I did however get turned on. He was a bit tipsy and I could tell he was totally enjoying engulfing this 5'2 woman in his belly and she was also a bit tipsy and giggling the "omg I'm turned on and don't know what to do about it" giggle. I read alot of FA/FFA type stories in the Library and on other sites and never read anything like what I saw. I just wish I had writing skills...and now I'm turned on again.:eat2:



Grrrrrr and now people might understand why you say its ok to play, you just want them to sign a wavier so you can take pics and video




.

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My Final word on this, sure I'm flattered. Flirting is fun, I'm one of the sick ones who usually enjoy's the entire experience. As long as someone can really read me and can step in time with the rhythm, whats not to love?


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## Buffetbelly (Mar 1, 2010)

One thing I can say for sure is that FFA's are addictive as heck. Once you have had a relationship where you are genuinely desired and showered with physical affection it is very hard to go back to a relationship where your body is politely tolerated at best or at worst treated as an unpleasant intruder in your own relationship.


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## escapist (Mar 1, 2010)

Buffetbelly said:


> One thing I can say for sure is that FFA's are addictive as heck. Once you have had a relationship where you are genuinely desired and showered with physical affection it is very hard to go back to a relationship where your body is politely tolerated at best or at worst treated as an unpleasant intruder in your own relationship.



WOW, I can't imagine even putting up with that . I really hope you never experience such a thing again now that you know it can be different. :happy:


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## stldpn (Mar 1, 2010)

BHMs and fat admiration I think can still be a touchy thing, even for some of us who've been around the community for a minute. Done my fair share of dances and community stuff and came away with thoroughly mixed feelings.

I've heard some of the BBWs complain that male FAs only chase big girls because they're socially inept etc. etc. etc. And I'd like to hope that's mostly just bitterness and pessimism on their part. But at the same time, I have to look around and admit that some of the skinny male FAs do seem kinda nerdy and sheltered. I've had women tell me that big guys only seem interested because they assume that "big people belong together" and as a veteran of many a blind date I know that people make those kinds of stupid assumptions all the time. I've read more than a few rants about blatant objectification, and that definitely exists too. There are also lots of guys who seem to be middle of the road very average individuals who just happen to like big girls the same way other men prefer latinas. I have to think that some of the same issues/cross section exists among the ffas.

As a guy, I don't mind a bit of harmless or flirtatious fun. Putting your hands/body on my fat, I can get a little defensive about if you're presumptuous about it.

That said, I confess I often feel the need to question the motivations of the ladies I meet who expresses serious interest and identifies as an ffa. The whole are you really into me.... really into my body... or really into both? It can be discouraging I think mostly because you never really know what someone is like until they give you the deeper glimpses into their personality. Like any relationship you have to make that initial investment.


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## stldpn (Mar 1, 2010)

escapist said:


> WOW, I can't imagine even putting up with that . I really hope you never experience such a thing again now that you know it can be different. :happy:



It happens to A LOT of guys and girls. Guys get it a little more often because.. well I don't want to be rude but women often look at social, academic and, financial status when they go hunting for a mate. Women also have the tendency to treat men like fixer-upper housing. They come in seeing lots of potential not realizing that the neighborhood and support structure of the house won't change. There are *a lot* of Large professionals and academics.


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## MasterShake (Mar 1, 2010)

rabbitislove said:


> Gods gift to women eh? You wouldnt be referring to the Escapist would you?


Presumably.

Now, on the other hand, if they were referring to God's gift to _Him/Herself_...then we're talking about me!


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## TheMildlyStrangeone (Mar 1, 2010)

Believe it or not, only one of the women I have slept with was an FFA. It was definitely an awesome experience that I wish could happen again but alas it was just a one-night stand. I had never had someone pay so much attention to my stomach just rubbing it while we were making it. Definitely was a change of pace to have someone like you because of your weight and not in spite of it.


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## desertcheeseman (Mar 1, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> I'm one of the weird ones who don't get jealous over people. I did however get turned on. He was a bit tipsy and I could tell he was totally enjoying engulfing this 5'2 woman in his belly and she was also a bit tipsy and giggling the "omg I'm turned on and don't know what to do about it" giggle. I read alot of FA/FFA type stories in the Library and on other sites and never read anything like what I saw. I just wish I had writing skills...and now I'm turned on again.:eat2:



Now I wish I had actually _been_ there. I might have to learn some moves from escapist


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## escapist (Mar 1, 2010)

:blush: This is such a contrast to the Hatery of me on the confession thread. I just wanted to say thanks to those who actually get me. Heck I really don't even mind those who hate me. Like I say, at least I'm expressing myself. Better to have people who love you and people who hate than to have people who don't even know you exist. :happy:



desertcheeseman said:


> Now I wish I had actually _been_ there. I might have to learn some moves from escapist



The only move that was really important was we were all just having good fun. If I remember that day correctly I was having fun cooking and feeding everybody, the silly, flirty, fun stuff just happened as a result of everybody being in a good mood and enjoying the moment (The rest was all just sub-communication and knowing what to read and how to react). It was all just a vibe in the air that you could feel. I would say thats 90% of it, finding the vibe and just having fun with it.

-------------------
There are a ton of good points, and points of view all over this thread.


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## Paquito (Mar 1, 2010)

escapist said:


> :blush: This is such a contrast to the Hatery of me on the confession thread. I just wanted to say thanks to those who actually get me. Heck I really don't even mind those who hate me. Like I say, at least I'm expressing myself. Better to have people who love you and people who hate than to have people who don't even know you exist. :happy:



Glad to see that we were all civil enough to keep it to one thread.


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## chicken legs (Mar 1, 2010)

free2beme04 said:


> Glad to see that we were all civil enough to keep it to one thread.



Now now lads...play naughty so I can spank(and grope) your big behinds.


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## Paquito (Mar 1, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> Now now lads...play naughty so I can spank(and grope) your big behinds.



Only if you take us to the Cheesecake Factory.


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## Bearsy (Mar 1, 2010)

desertcheeseman said:


> I think it's hard for many guys to imagine being wanted by women just because of their bodies.



This is very true. I posted some photos of myself on this site and I've received some compliments on my looks. 
They're the first compliments I've ever gotten based on my appearance(other than nice hair or something) and I still am having a difficult time wrapping my head around it. I sure do appreciate it though!


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## chicken legs (Mar 1, 2010)

free2beme04 said:


> Only if you take us to the Cheesecake Factory.



LOL....ok:eat2:

I feel like I'm in a Bhm version of Fantasy Island

heheh...I guess Conrad would be Ricardo Montalban but who would be Tattoo?


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## AZ_Wolf (Mar 1, 2010)

I would be receptive to any positive attention/flirtation I received from a woman anywhere. I don't go to bars or clubs so I wouldn't expect the woman to be pulling any sort of gag by flirting with me (to amuse her friends at their table, etc, as I've read on other threads that had happened to a couple people here). I'd expect she'd just be a normal person showing interest, and reciprocate. I was fit for a long time, but am also quite short, so I would have to say getting used to the mostly negative reactions from women for that reason led me to complete self-acceptance before I ever started to gain weight. So I am me -- if you like it, great, if you don't, that's fine too. Therefore I've never had any trouble dealing with being a BHM.

Though maybe not so H, since whenever I've posted any pics here I've not had a single solitary response.   So maybe I'm too old for most of the 20-something FFAs here, or maybe it's my facial hair, or whatever. But the one time I dated a FFA, I have to say it was a ton of fun (no pun intended  ). Our personalities totally clicked and we were enjoying that, but she also had a ball enjoying my body. I enjoyed that because, simply, who wouldn't enjoy being adored for any reason, in a good relationship, eh?
Otherwise it's just been if there was interest, it was just for me in general, and my weight never came up as a plus or apparent minus. So in general, I expect that to be the best I can hope for in the future. Anything else would just be a huge plus.


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## Zowie (Mar 1, 2010)

Ah, so many good responses, it makes me happy. >w<

Yeah, I guess the main problem would be miscommunication, wouldn't it? If I walked up to a BHM and told him I found him attractive, I think I would either be dismissed as someone looking for a laugh or a weird fetishist.

But again, I think most girls are looking for something else besides physique, at least, I hope. Stunning personalities are just as high on my list, it gives a bad look to FFAs if some girl just outwardly says that all she wants is a belly and doesn't give a shit about the guy attached to it.


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## extra_fat_guy (Mar 1, 2010)

I have only met one FFA, and I met her on here. Since I started posting pictures on here it has opend up a new world to me. I always thought of myself as something women wouldn't want. I enjoy my belly being rubbed. It wouldn't bother me if a woman came up to me, and touched my belly. I would love to find a woman that was into me both physically, and mentally. I want my fat played with in bed, and I love to hear that a woman finds my fat sexy.


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## Boris_the_Spider (Mar 4, 2010)

I definitely used to be in the 'stop fucking staring at me' camp of big guy, and wouldn't for the first minute consider that someone could be 'checking me out'. Now I'm much more confident about who I am and I love it when I see someone taking that slightly longer than normal look or if someone compliments the way I look. Places like here have definitely helped me develop that confidence as well.


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## MaybeX (Mar 4, 2010)

In my younger days, I would have been very leery about a woman who seemed interested in me because of my size. I might not have have believed it or picked up on it.

I've only known one actual FFA, so I might still miss any hints from any gal who wasn't very direct. From what she tells me, I did apparently, in the past. :doh:


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## Zowie (Mar 4, 2010)

Well, I think there's definitely a look I give off if I'm staring at a guy, which is a combination of "He's cute" "He's hot!" "He seems to be *personal attribute*" and the ever "I may be mentally undressing him"
If anything, catch her eye and smile, you'll see how she'll react =D


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## chicken legs (Mar 5, 2010)

One thing I have noticed with big folks is that they forget how intimidating their physical presence is. If guys are reluctant to walk up on you..for any reason, then imagine how hard it is for a woman...and even more so for a petite woman. Unless we get clear signal that you are big and friendly we will just check you out from a distance or just never let on that we are attracted to you

The PUA stuff that Escapist talks about actually works as a disarming agent in regards to big guys (and girls)...(versus the usual way, which is to attract). If the big hottie, that I mentioned earlier in the thread, used some of those PUA techniques to relieve the sexual tension..I would have responded better. I was already attracted to him but my survival instincts kicked in and I ended up backing off big time because he looked like he was going to eat me alive. Don't get me wrong..I loved to be devoured but I want to Know the guy has grace to go along with all that strength.


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## escapist (Mar 5, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> One thing I have noticed with big folks is that they forget how intimidating their physical presence is. If guys are reluctant to walk up on you..for any reason, then imagine how hard it is for a woman...and even more so for a petite woman. Unless we get clear signal that you are big and friendly we will just check you out from a distance or just never let on that we are attracted to you
> 
> The PUA stuff that Escapist talks about actually works as a disarming agent in regards to big guys (and girls)...(versus the usual way, which is to attract). If the big hottie, that I mentioned earlier in the thread, used some of those PUA techniques to relieve the sexual tension..I would have responded better. I was already attracted to him but my survival instincts kicked in and I ended up backing off big time because he looked like he was going to eat me alive. Don't get me wrong..I loved to be devoured but I want to Know the guy has grace to go along with all that strength.



Man, she's giving away all of my secrets!




. Now, seriously, yeah it can work just as she described. Often I don't think guys (like myself) fully realize how much pressure they can put on a women with their attention and intentions. Sometimes a lot of heat is good, but if you don't let out a bit of steam you can over-cook your meal :eat1:.


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## taobear (Jul 10, 2010)

djudex said:


> I'm warm and fuzzy all the time, it's a side effect of being a BHM!
> 
> I will say that when I've got someone who thinks I'm hot shit it's like being high, I'm elated and walking on clouds so that probably counts as warm and fuzzy.



Wow I thought I was the only guy that was warm and fuzzy all the time. You learn something new everyday. Of course I knew there were guys out there like that but I had no idea it was connected with being a BHM. It seems to me that women should be flocking to men who are so in touch with themselves and their affectionate nature. 
I always hear women complain about men who are just after one thing. I wish I could think more clearly on this subject, but because of my inexperience and emotional connection it seems almost hopeless. 
I find that with me being a gentleman and the way I latch on to people not just women but men too in platonic relationships. 
I never considered my size an intimidating factor. This is a lot to take in. I think this thread has been, even considering its size, the most helpful to me. I must sleep on it and reread it again.


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## ~da rev~ (Jul 10, 2010)

bionic_eggplant said:


> Well, I think there's definitely a look I give off if I'm staring at a guy, which is a combination of "He's cute" "He's hot!" "He seems to be *personal attribute*" and the ever "I may be mentally undressing him"
> If anything, catch her eye and smile, you'll see how she'll react =D



Well, I'm screwed. I'm terrible with eye contact.


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## taobear (Jul 10, 2010)

~da rev~ said:


> Well, I'm screwed. I'm terrible with eye contact.



I have to psych up for it unless she is just unbelievable cute then I stare in a creepy way I think


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## veil (Jul 10, 2010)

bionic_eggplant said:


> Bon, chéris, I've got a question. Or a matter of opinions.
> 
> Being, I guess as you call an FFA (took me forever to figure out all the letter-thingers), how do large men react to girls of various sizes loving them for their physique?
> I mean, I've never been an *object of desire*, so I can image what it'd be like to have someone lusting after you just because of your body. (I KNOW there's more to it than that, but let's just use it as a start)



you think you haven't, but i suspect otherwise. i used to think that about myself, but as it turns out i was just oblivious. i know that makes me sound egocentric but i'm really not! just... maybe a bit vain.

fun fact: OoD (object of desire) is one of the ways shar rednour defines femme as an identity, and it is also the name of some of my favorite aliens.


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## Sasquatch! (Jul 10, 2010)

I find that someone finding me attractive immediately makes them more attractive.


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## chicken legs (Jul 10, 2010)

Sasquatch! said:


> I find that someone finding me attractive immediately makes them more attractive.



Hrmmmmm.........


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## Sasquatch! (Jul 10, 2010)

Yeah, it's usually an indicator of good taste-that's why


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## chicken legs (Jul 10, 2010)

Sasquatch! said:


> Yeah, it's usually an indicator of good taste-that's why



my bait worked....

I actually wanted to say..

You should reverse it. Realize you are already attractive and have excellent taste, so they should feel more attractive by your attraction to them.


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## bigpulve (Jul 10, 2010)

At this time I probably couldnt even tell if a girl was looking at me.


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## Sasquatch! (Jul 10, 2010)

bigpulve said:


> At this time I probably couldnt even tell if a girl was looking at me.



If she has eyes, is looking your direction and follows you as you move.....then she is probably looking at you.


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## bigpulve (Jul 10, 2010)

Sasquatch! said:


> If she has eyes, is looking your direction and follows you as you move.....then she is probably looking at you.



I would assume I have someone behind me. lol


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## escapist (Jul 12, 2010)

I'm going to admit something here. I can have mixed reactions depending on the woman and how aggressive she is. I'm usually fine when its a cute tiny woman who is supper into me. However apparently if she's SUPER HOT, and SUPER AGGRESSIVE, she can shut me down. I can get very shy very fast when this happens especially if she gets all over me to fast :blush:. For as shy as she may be, chicken legs can be was really aggressive a few times and freaked me out (not that she knew it till now). 

I specifically studied dating strategy's, PUA, and all that to try to stop myself from locking up and freezing when women are direct. Some women seem surprised that I can be like this cause "Big Hot Guys" aren't supposed to be. They forget for years of my life I saw my self as ugly fat kid that nobody wanted. Soooo yeah my mind can turn to mush when a pair of 34E's and beautiful eyes are shoved in my face while she's flirting with me and giving me her number. Thats why I have to use things like, "don't touch me thats five bucks". If I don't I can totally freeze up and become unable to think or talk. Some may find it cute, I don't know I either run or kill attraction by being so shy.


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## FishCharming (Jul 12, 2010)

bionic_eggplant said:


> Bon, chéris, I've got a question. Or a matter of opinions.
> 
> Being, I guess as you call an FFA (took me forever to figure out all the letter-thingers), how do large men react to girls of various sizes loving them for their physique?
> I mean, I've never been an object of desire, so I can image what it'd be like to have someone lusting after you just because of your body. (I KNOW there's more to it than that, but let's just use it as a start)
> ...



awwww, eggy, you're the object of my desire!


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## Zowie (Jul 12, 2010)

FishCharming said:


> awwww, eggy, you're the object of my desire!



Hahaha, thanks, although that was quite old. I'm everyone's object now.


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## theronin23 (Jul 12, 2010)

For me, while I'm still getting used to the idea (after two years in the scene...crazy, I know) that there are girls that find my weight attractive, and there's still skepticism for anyone I don't find on a bhm/ffa type site, I'm very flattered.

And truth be told, I'm kind of a himbo. If I'm sure that a girl is attracted to me...I have less than zero problem showing off for her.


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## FishCharming (Jul 12, 2010)

bionic_eggplant said:


> Hahaha, thanks, although that was quite old. I'm everyone's object now.



lols, i just saw the thread and didn't feel like catching up on it.


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## taobear (Jul 14, 2010)

bigpulve said:


> I would assume I have someone behind me. lol



I have done that and actually looked behind me. LOL


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## taobear (Jul 14, 2010)

bionic_eggplant said:


> Hahaha, thanks, although that was quite old. I'm everyone's object now.



Yes I do think about you on lonely nights. which is every night


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## taobear (Jul 14, 2010)

bionic_eggplant said:


> Hahaha, thanks, although that was quite old. I'm everyone's object now.



maybe we need an updated pic? I'll show you mine if you show me yours. Muaha ha ha ha.


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## theronin23 (Jul 14, 2010)

Holy post whore, Batman.


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## taobear (Jul 14, 2010)

theronin23 said:


> Holy post whore, Batman.



Hey I have no life. What can I say


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## theronin23 (Jul 14, 2010)

You know you can edit posts after the fact to add stuff, right?


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## taobear (Jul 14, 2010)

theronin23 said:


> You know you can edit posts after the fact to add stuff, right?





> You know you can edit posts after the fact to add stuff, right?


 
Yes I did but I'm not sure I have th hang of it yet

see what I mean?


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## johniav (Jul 19, 2010)

Well I'm glad this post was started. As a matter of fact, I like the reactions I get (Its not easy being cool but I have managed it well). But I could only imagine that I would feel awkward If a woman came up to me and told me that she thought my weight was attractive. I would be glad that she would feel that way, but seven years ago I would not have guessed that there would be would be women with those thoughts. I'm all for it though


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## Bearsy (Jul 19, 2010)

taobear said:


> Yes I did but I'm not sure I have th hang of it yet
> 
> see what I mean?



If you click the button to the right of the "Quote" button, and then hit "Post Reply" at the bottom of the page, it will quote every post you chose in one convenient post.


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## spanky.pinata (Jul 19, 2010)

I kinda like how fat guys react when they find out i think they're the hottest thing out there lol. They're so cute and unsure of themselves that its such a turn-on when they finally come out their shell and begin 2 trust that ur serious


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## Bearsy (Jul 20, 2010)

spanky.pinata said:


> I kinda like how fat guys react when they find out i think they're the hottest thing out there lol. They're so cute and unsure of themselves that its such a turn-on when they finally come out their shell and begin 2 trust that ur serious



Yeah that was a huge problem I had growing up and even now. I remember one time a girl asked me for my name and number and I immediately thought she was asking so she could mess with me so I gave her a fake name and number. 
Feels bad man.
:doh:


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## spanky.pinata (Jul 20, 2010)

Bearsy said:


> Yeah that was a huge problem I had growing up and even now. I remember one time a girl asked me for my name and number and I immediately thought she was asking so she could mess with me so I gave her a fake name and number.
> Feels bad man.
> :doh:



Its totally understandable though... and disapointing cause it's our society that allows people TO feel like that...

I used to get uncomfortable with attention from the opposite sex (assuming they were messing with me) but i guess u just kinda have to get over it...and feel sexy regardless.

Nothing works better than confidence, can bluff ur way through ur entire life if u wanted to 

Besides I adore u sexy fat men, and if u guys dont *all* start adoring urself ur on my list *glares* lol


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## Lavasse (Jul 20, 2010)

spanky.pinata said:


> Its totally understandable though... and disapointing cause it's our society that allows people TO feel like that...
> 
> I used to get uncomfortable with attention from the opposite sex (assuming they were messing with me) but i guess u just kinda have to get over it...and feel sexy regardless.
> 
> ...



Oooooh I wanna be on your list


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## vanilla_gorilla_503 (Jul 20, 2010)

bionic_eggplant said:


> Bon, chéris, I've got a question. Or a matter of opinions.
> 
> Being, I guess as you call an FFA (took me forever to figure out all the letter-thingers), how do large men react to girls of various sizes loving them for their physique?
> I mean, I've never been an object of desire, so I can image what it'd be like to have someone lusting after you just because of your body. (I KNOW there's more to it than that, but let's just use it as a start)
> ...



i dont think we're gods gift to women..if that was the case all women would be attracted to a big guy. i love being my size. not only am i a big dude..but im rather tall also...so im just a large human..lol.. kinda sucks trying to drive a sports car..but im a classic car kinda guy so im good. there are days when i do think how much it sucks that girls who like bigger guys are hard to find. not just girls who like a little bit of chub on their man..or a little belly...lol..but a big dude. those are the ones that are few in numbers. it can get depressing.


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## escapist (Jul 20, 2010)

vanilla_gorilla_503 said:


> i dont think we're gods gift to women..if that was the case all women would be attracted to a big guy. i love being my size. not only am i a big dude..but im rather tall also...so im just a large human..lol.. kinda sucks trying to drive a sports car..but im a classic car kinda guy so im good. there are days when i do think how much it sucks that girls who like bigger guys are hard to find. not just girls who like a little bit of chub on their man..or a little belly...lol..but a big dude. those are the ones that are few in numbers. it can get depressing.



You need to be a bouncer or something man, cause being Big ALWAYS worked for me. I know there were some girls that came to the club just to flirt with me. Not to mention the obvious ones who would just come out with it..."WOW YOUR BIG!" *Big Doe Eyes, and GRIN*....."Will you walk me to my CAR?". Ahhhhh good times good times.

My girlfriend will ask, "Are you smiling at them"? She's a big believer in disarming them with wit and charm. I am very flirty and playful and I guess it comes out all the time in person. Its my favorite thing to advise just because it works so well for me. Obviously you need to find what works for you.


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## vanilla_gorilla_503 (Jul 20, 2010)

escapist said:


> You need to be a bouncer or something man, cause being Big ALWAYS worked for me. I know there were some girls that came to the club just to flirt with me. Not to mention the obvious ones who would just come out with it..."WOW YOUR BIG!" *Big Doe Eyes, and GRIN*....."Will you walk me to my CAR?". Ahhhhh good times good times.
> 
> My girlfriend will ask, "Are you smiling at them"? She's a big believer in disarming them with wit and charm. I am very flirty and playful and I guess it comes out all the time in person. Its my favorite thing to advise just because it works so well for me. Obviously you need to find what works for you.



i was a bouncer for 10 years

edit: and i worked at a pretty over the top country bar in oregon at one time..even though i hated the music..i loved the ladies...i can say this: country girls loves them some big men


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## escapist (Jul 20, 2010)

vanilla_gorilla_503 said:


> i was a bouncer for 10 years
> 
> edit: and i worked at a pretty over the top country bar in oregon at one time..even though i hated the music..i loved the ladies...i can say this: country girls loves them some big men



OK, soooooo they do exist and your just not figuring out how to find them outside of that venue? I was gonna say my buddy worked as a Bouncer at a country place in OC who is about my size and he Got TONS OF attention, numbers, and everything else. It was his choice not to date most of the women and he knew it.


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## vanilla_gorilla_503 (Jul 20, 2010)

escapist said:


> OK, soooooo they do exist and your just not figuring out how to find them outside of that venue? I was gonna say my buddy worked as a Bouncer at a country place in OC who is about my size and he Got TONS OF attention, numbers, and everything else. It was his choice not to date most of the women and he knew it.



oh, i know how to find them outside of those days..but like i said they are far and few in between. im sure you do understand the attention you receive as a figure of authority and safety and the attention you receive as someone that is outside of those lines of responsibility away from the night life. those times, in that environment..it comes to you. well, for lack of better words i guess..lol

i have had plenty of luck outside my old line of work..more often than not, the ones i go for..dont go for bhm.


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## chicken legs (Jul 20, 2010)

vanilla_gorilla_503 said:


> i was a bouncer for 10 years
> 
> edit: and i worked at a pretty over the top country bar in oregon at one time..even though i hated the music..i loved the ladies...i can say this: country girls loves them some big men



Random big guy story ahead...

I was in a club and saw this totally huge guy from Chicago. He stood head and shoulders above the rest and was as wide as two of his friends. He was totally giving me the eye but I was completely sober and ran the other direction. After I had a couple of ounces of courage he came up to me again and I flirted back with much bravado...lol. We go back to the bar to flirt it up and a Prince song comes on..lol. Next thing I now, I'm practically humping his huge thigh but I thought I was on the chair. After the song finished I look down and realized "Ohhh shit...thats a big ass thigh I'm on". That realization sobered me up pretty quickly and I made a dash for the bathroom....hahahah...

Fast foward a year later, the guy moves to Vegas and ended up going to the same gym as I. Needless to say...I tooootally chickened out when he gave me the eye. I was on the treadmill and felt my head burning and I look around and see him staring at me. I panicked..lol and left the gym and never really got back to working out until now. In my defense, he hung out with the other huge guys, and they all started giving me the eye. I even had one of the other huge guy's amazon girlfriends come up to my job. In defense of that situation...he had some ginormous thighs and he always seemed to catch me staring. Is it my fault he wore pants that brought attention to his ginormous thighs...(man were they some ginormous thighs)..jeez.

So the story of Chicken Legs..lol.


My friend gives me shit to this day about being such a chicken..lol.

Moral of the story...courage juice can do wonders for us normally timid ones.


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## RJI (Jul 20, 2010)

escapist said:


> You need to be a bouncer or something man, cause being Big ALWAYS worked for me. I know there were some girls that came to the club just to flirt with me. Not to mention the obvious ones who would just come out with it..."WOW YOUR BIG!" *Big Doe Eyes, and GRIN*....."Will you walk me to my CAR?". Ahhhhh good times good times.
> 
> My girlfriend will ask, "Are you smiling at them"? She's a big believer in disarming them with wit and charm. I am very flirty and playful and I guess it comes out all the time in person. Its my favorite thing to advise just because it works so well for me. Obviously you need to find what works for you.



I worked in College at a Strip Club in Fla as a bouncer and strippers love them some big men! I would have worked there for free...


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## MasterShake (Jul 20, 2010)

As far as I can tell, the moral of this thread is that BHMs need to find where the alcoholic country strippers are.


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## spanky.pinata (Jul 20, 2010)

which is why i highly recommend any fat men moving to Oz. We got free strippers at the pub (which is usually inhabited by big, fat burly men just knocking off work) and god knows our reputation for drinking... =D


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## escapist (Jul 21, 2010)

MasterShake said:


> As far as I can tell, the moral of this thread is that BHMs need to find where the alcoholic country strippers are.



Are you kidding? They can be pretty aggressive, you might be better off if they are still a bit sober or it can be a bit overwhelming when the SUPER HOT ones throw themselves at you.


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## calauria (Jul 21, 2010)

Paquito said:


> Only if you take us to the Cheesecake Factory.



Why do all Cheesecake Factories have a long ass line


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## Bearsy (Jul 22, 2010)

spanky.pinata said:


> which is why i highly recommend any fat men moving to Oz. We got free strippers at the pub (which is usually inhabited by big, fat burly men just knocking off work) and god knows our reputation for drinking... =D



When I come to Australia, you and I are gonna have to get a drink, or ten.


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## vanilla_gorilla_503 (Jul 22, 2010)

RJI said:


> I worked in College at a Strip Club in Fla as a bouncer and strippers love them some big men! I would have worked there for free...



ohhh i know this one..lol


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## escapist (Jul 22, 2010)

vanilla_gorilla_503 said:


> i was a bouncer for 10 years
> 
> edit: and i worked at a pretty over the top country bar in oregon at one time..even though i hated the music..i loved the ladies...i can say this: country girls loves them some big men



ROFL How did I miss the OREGON thing lol. Yeah thats where I was bouncing too! Yep, totally the same thing! I worked the floor and the door & knew 1/2 the people cause I grew up locally. It was pretty funny how girls I had crushes on as a kid were now suddenly interested in me.


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## vanilla_gorilla_503 (Jul 22, 2010)

escapist said:


> ROFL How did I miss the OREGON thing lol. Yeah thats where I was bouncing too! Yep, totally the same thing! I worked the floor and the door & knew 1/2 the people cause I grew up locally. It was pretty funny how girls I had crushes on as a kid were now suddenly interested in me.



yup, born and raised s.e. portland for me. i think i bounced at every club in portland for the most part lol.

hahahaha, the best part about working the door was the girls that used to pay me no mind back in the day were the same ones i was telling they have to wait in line like everyone else.


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## escapist (Jul 22, 2010)

vanilla_gorilla_503 said:


> yup, born and raised s.e. portland for me. i think i bounced at every club in portland for the most part lol.
> 
> hahahaha, the best part about working the door was the girls that used to pay me no mind back in the day were the same ones i was telling they have to wait in line like everyone else.



Yeah I can't pretend I didn't make some of them jump through some hoops.


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## LovesBigMen (Jul 22, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> Random big guy story ahead...
> 
> I was in a club and saw this totally huge guy from Chicago. He stood head and shoulders above the rest and was as wide as two of his friends. He was totally giving me the eye but I was completely sober and ran the other direction. After I had a couple of ounces of courage he came up to me again and I flirted back with much bravado...lol. We go back to the bar to flirt it up and a Prince song comes on..lol. Next thing I now, I'm practically humping his huge thigh but I thought I was on the chair. After the song finished I look down and realized "Ohhh shit...thats a big ass thigh I'm on". That realization sobered me up pretty quickly and I made a dash for the bathroom....hahahah...
> 
> ...



I have learn from this story .
And heck no it's not your fault he was wearing pants that bring attention to his ginormous thighs. Haha they were ment to be looked at  I believe I mean why have nice thighs men if you don't want them to be looked at haha.
I have taken my notes thank you for the lesson :happy:


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## chicken legs (Jul 23, 2010)

LovesBigMen said:


> I have learn from this story .
> And heck no it's not your fault he was wearing pants that bring attention to his ginormous thighs. Haha they were ment to be looked at  I believe I mean why have nice thighs men if you don't want them to be looked at haha.
> I have taken my notes thank you for the lesson :happy:



hahah...could you tell me what you learned..because my brain stops at ginormous thighs.:blush:


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## LovesBigMen (Jul 24, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> hahah...could you tell me what you learned..because my brain stops at ginormous thighs.:blush:



I learned to go and talk to the guy with the ginormous thighs


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## RJI (Jul 24, 2010)

LovesBigMen said:


> I learned to go and talk to the guy with the ginormous thighs



You go girl... lol

Get you some thigh meat.


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## LovesBigMen (Jul 24, 2010)

RJI said:


> You go girl... lol
> 
> Get you some thigh meat.



haha I will thank you WOOT WOOT!


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## spanky.pinata (Jul 27, 2010)

Bearsy said:


> When I come to Australia, you and I are gonna have to get a drink, or ten.



lol u'd probably need ten just to keep up with us


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## shparks (Aug 12, 2010)

I have never actually met a FFA in person. And I just joined these forums today. At this point, I am still finding it difficult to imagine that a woman would be attracted to my body.


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