# FFAs: What are you hoping to see here?



## keith (Nov 5, 2005)

I was wondering, as i don't really recall having seen a thread like this (or maybe this would be a good topic for a poll).

Are you looking for pictures? if so, what kinds? individual shots or big guys in groups? fully clothed/partially clothed/nekkid/full monty? shots which give perspective on a guy's size? action shots?

do you prefer the verbage? bhm sighting stories by other ffas? first hand accounts by bhm? funny tales? anecdotes that highlight the impact of our considerable bulk?

something else entirely? food stories, personal histories, favorite passtimes/restaurants/parks/stores/beaches/vacation destinations/etc? you name it!

please don't be shy. i (and i'm sure many others) am really looking forward to hearing what you have to say.

Thanks!
~keith


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## Jeannie (Nov 5, 2005)

Excellent question Keith!

I hate to say it but I think our little board is the most boring board of the entire site. I've always been frustrated by the lack of conversation here. It seems for the_ most_ part, the guys just want to post pics of their bellies hoping for some encouragement or praise. I understand why they do that but I don't understand why that's the extent of the participation here. A lot of REALLY cute guys show up, post a pic and then we never hear from them again. WTH is that about??  It can't be that it's a guy thing because there are talkative, interesting, and funny guys posting and starting threads all over this site! Is it that there isn't a big enough female audience here so they figure what's the point, no one is reading anyway?? I can say this if that's the case. If you guys would TALK, be real, not just a belly pic, you'll attract a lot more women to this board!! We aren't the visual creatures you guys are (for the most part), we want to know what is in your head and in your heart! Don't you want us to love you for more than your body guys???? Are you afraid we won't? Pffffft! We will. Just give us a chance. [/*Rant*]

*something else entirely? food stories, personal histories, favorite passtimes/restaurants/parks/stores/beaches/vacation destinations/etc? you name it!*

This would be my first preference. I want to know what our gorgeous guys are into when not on this board! I'd love to hear about people's pets, movies they enjoyed, books they're reading. Anything and everything that shows some* personality* of our posters and gets some conversation going. 

*do you prefer the verbage? bhm sighting stories by other ffas? first hand accounts by bhm? funny tales? anecdotes that highlight the impact of our considerable bulk?*

This next!  

*Are you looking for pictures? if so, what kinds? individual shots or big guys in groups? fully clothed/partially clothed/nekkid/full monty? shots which give perspective on a guy's size? action shots?*

Certainly pics too! Go look at the ladies paysite board for some ideas!!   
They wear clothes and look sexy as hell!!! Ok, so maybe you can't put on a french maid outfit (well maybe _some _of you can!  ) but you can try to be creative in what you are posting! I hate to single someone out here but *BigWideLand* does this to perfection!! He shows us his personality, not just his belly! He should be your role model guys!!  We gets all kinds of interesting shots of him, clothed and unclothed and they are always SO MUCH fun to see. ( Geepy is like that too! We see his humor! :smitten: ) You guys get that right? If the ladies of the pay site just posted pics of *nothing but* their bare bellies for months and months, can you imagine the rioting that would break out!!?? People would be very disappointed and then they would lose interest and go away. Don't let happen here! 

Whew, I haven't even had any coffee yet this morning. I never expected to sit down and rant for an hour. :doh: 

I hope ya'll don't hate me for speaking my mind about this. I've said all this before and you're probably sick to death of me but I only want the best for our board. I *love* it and I'm devoted to it because of you guys. Where else can I flirt with, oogle, *get to know*, and get to love such a wonderful group of guys that in my eyes are the *sexiest* on this planet? There isn't any place! I guess that's why I want so much more here. Conrad has given us this site to use as we see fit. I hope everyone will try to make it the best board on the site. 

Sorry Keith, I hope I haven't shut down this thread with my speech. You asked an excellent question and I hope it sparks a lot of new threads and new conversation! ((((((((K)))))))) I guess you _knew_ I wouldn't be shy about responding to this.  



keith said:


> I was wondering, as i don't really recall having seen a thread like this (or maybe this would be a good topic for a poll).
> 
> Are you looking for pictures? if so, what kinds? individual shots or big guys in groups? fully clothed/partially clothed/nekkid/full monty? shots which give perspective on a guy's size? action shots?
> 
> ...


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## Obesus (Nov 5, 2005)

...be so bold as to comment, without seeming intrusive or gauche, I shall expostulate. The situation seems to be like a High School dance where everyone is a wallflower. The chaps are all desperate for some kind of validation and probably have very limited social and conversational skills and most of the lasses are shy. I really doubt that a lot of folks here have been on a date, or even just been out for coffee in a non-date setting. It is a situation where those few who have some social skills must model the behavior. It is a slow and agonizing process, but the few who have some bit of experience around relationships, nay, even having a chat in a coffee house, must needs come forth and parlay and show that one doesn't explode into a thousand shards of glass, glinting in the sunlight after just talking with a member of the oppositional sex! :bow:


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## loves2laugh (Nov 5, 2005)

AMEN jeannie. 
pictures arent enough- talk- and i dont mean about what you like sexually. 

later gators!
ingrid


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## sweetnnekked (Nov 5, 2005)

Obesus said:


> ...be so bold as to comment, without seeming intrusive or gauche, I shall expostulate. The situation seems to be like a High School dance where everyone is a wallflower. The chaps are all desperate for some kind of validation and probably have very limited social and conversational skills and most of the lasses are shy. I really doubt that a lot of folks here have been on a date, or even just been out for coffee in a non-date setting. It is a situation where those few who have some social skills must model the behavior. It is a slow and agonizing process, but the few who have some bit of experience around relationships, nay, even having a chat in a coffee house, must needs come forth and parlay and show that one doesn't explode into a thousand shards of glass, glinting in the sunlight after just talking with a member of the oppositional sex! :bow:




I've found the women on this board or any other board to be anything but shy.
Are the guys searching for validity, acceptance? Of course they are! The amount of BBW adoration sites far outnumber the BHM admiration sites. And even the BBW sites that cater to both BBW&BHM only seem to have the guys in there as a token
I think women have had much more time and have had many more mediums to empower themselves as BBW's than have men as BHM's. Even in art, BBW's have been portrayed as beautiful sexy creatures whereas BHM's are virtually non-existant. 
Men have always been told to be strong and not show our emotions or to not share our feelings, some things that come naturally to women.
Luckily, things are changing and some men are finding it easier to break free of these so called "masculine traits" and connect with women on their level. 
But give us some time and encourage us whenever possible. You've had centuries, we've had but a mere flicker in the flame on the candle of time!!
How's that for wisdom, baby!?!


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## Shylla (Nov 5, 2005)

I say "Hear here!" to what Jeannie had to say. Very well put, and I agree with much of what you said.

The main reason I am here is to chat with other FFA's and BHM's. I believe that there are many more FFA's than those that are vocal about it, but it is rare to see any conversation about it or a website devoted to it, and I am here to be counted, and to share with others.

I'm not here to hit-on anyone, or look for a relationship. It's nice to see pictures (I'm partial to the ones that are clothed or more than just belly shots myself -- I understand if someone isn't brave enough to show their face, like I'm not yet, but there is much, much more to a man than a belly), but they're not the reason I visit, and I'm reluctant to leave many compliments on them, as I don't want to seem like I'm trying to get too friendly with anyone. I leave what compliments I do as encouragement for you all to be proud of yourselves. I have a BHM of my own, and I'm not looking for more than friendship with another. But, pictures are appreciated, as it is so rare to see a BHM who is proud of his body.

Relevent topics, stories, and so on are of course the most interesting to me, but I like to know many things about your lives, really. I want to know who other FFA's and BHM's are, and what makes each of us who we are. Meeting FFA's who are similar to myself is the most appreciated. It makes me feel like I'm not alone or weird. I really love to talk to anyone who wants to, though. I've met a few great guys here, and unfortunately fewer girls, and I'd like to get to know more of you regulars and newbs.

I'm not really a shy person (in response to someone who wondered -- my name doesn't mean I'm shy; it's a variation of the name scylla), but I'm not used to discussing being a FFA, or my appreciation for BHM's. It's all still pretty new to me. Perhaps that's why I don't have a whole lot more to say on this board, but I'm trying. I visit about every other day or so.

There's a sum-up of how I feel, about why I am here.


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## It's Just Me (Nov 6, 2005)

My short answer is: What Jeannie said.

That, and I value good conversation and a sense of humor probably more than anything else.



Jeannie said:


> Ok, so maybe you can't put on a french maid outfit



Here's where Jeannie and I differ. I definitely want to see pictures of all you BHMs in your french maid outfits.


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## keith (Nov 6, 2005)

and wowsers! what a masterfully stated reply! :smitten: Of course, i had high hopes, I just didn't expect you to exceed them so magnificently.

I don't believe that our other ffas will be put off by the depth and breadth of your response. in fact, i would imagine that given the number of talking points that have been introduced, people will be drawn out to either confirm or contradict. hmmm, there doesn't seem to be an emoticon for crossing you fingers and hoping really hard that the lovely ladies on this board will really "seize the thread" and make their feelings known.

hugs!
~keith


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## keith (Nov 6, 2005)

:shocked: - just kidding! 
However, I think it'll take a little time, before i'm personally ready for that one. but I suppose if you never ask, you'll never really find out.  Any takers? Bueller? Bueller?






It's Just Me said:


> Here's where Jeannie and I differ. I definitely want to see pictures of all you BHMs in your french maid outfits.


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## tankgirl (Nov 6, 2005)

Shylla said:


> I say "Hear here!" to what Jeannie had to say. Very well put, and I agree with much of what you said.
> 
> The main reason I am here is to chat with other FFA's and BHM's. I believe that there are many more FFA's than those that are vocal about it, but it is rare to see any conversation about it or a website devoted to it, and I am here to be counted, and to share with others.
> It's nice to see pictures (I'm partial to the ones that are clothed or more than just belly shots myself -- I understand if someone isn't brave enough to show their face, like I'm not yet, but there is much, much more to a man than a belly), but they're not the reason I visit, and I'm reluctant to leave many compliments on them, as I don't want to seem like I'm trying to get too friendly with anyone. I leave what compliments I do as encouragement for you all to be proud of yourselves. I have a BHM of my own, and I'm not looking for more than friendship with another. But, pictures are appreciated, as it is so rare to see a BHM who is proud of his body.
> ...


 
That's where I say... what she said. Cept I ain't GOT me own BHM, I got an SO of a slightly smaller calibre, don't need a(nother) puppy, just looking for more intelligent conversation. Kinda like.... reminding me that there IS intelligent life SOMEwhere on this planet... 
Heh. Shylla, if you want, email or IM me some time, I've got all three (AIM, MSNM, and YIM) active most the time. Us FFAs oughtta band together, and all that.
From the heart, girl, from the heart.
Peace.


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## Fortune Cookie (Nov 6, 2005)

I love pics, but I'm also all about the written word. It's just as fun for me to see the words "bulging belly" strung together as it is to see a pic of it. I love reading stories, sightings, and thoughts. 

Just my two cents!

Fortune Cookie


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## It's Just Me (Nov 6, 2005)

keith said:


> :shocked: - just kidding!
> However, I think it'll take a little time, before i'm personally ready for that one. but I suppose if you never ask, you'll never really find out.



LOL, I guess those French maid outfits are something you have to work up to. But I suppose it never hurts to ask. So how do you feel about bunny suits?


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## cute_obese_girl (Nov 7, 2005)

First of all I have to say that I also have to agree with Jeannie's comments about what us FFA's want out of this board.

Secondly...



sweetnnekked said:


> Men have always been told to be strong and not show our emotions or to not share our feelings, some things that come naturally to women.
> Luckily, things are changing and some men are finding it easier to break free of these so called "masculine traits" and connect with women on their level.
> But give us some time and encourage us whenever possible. You've had centuries, we've had but a mere flicker in the flame on the candle of time!!
> How's that for wisdom, baby!?!



You guys don't have to start with your deepest, darkest feelings. Women are always interested to find out what guys are thinking about even if it is about T.O. from the Eagles being suspended from this weeks game. Some women will jump in on the matter and some won't. But it will get the conversation going. I think the problem with this board is that the men post things that will only get a response from the women. You guys should mix it up and use this board as an opportunity to talk to each other too and make a few buddies along the way. When that starts happening it will be more like the other parts of this site where threads get responses from both sexes and a good flow of conversation happens.

Just my thoughts.


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## Fullback4439 (Nov 7, 2005)

I agree with everything that has been said here. I just think for me & maybe for the other guys as well, it's just so hard finding FFAs. The BHM/FFA chat room is almost always empty, sending PMs doesn't seem to work either. I'd love to meet a FFA and talk about everything under the sun including love of body size.

I hope more ffas come out of the wood work. A group chat would be great. One on one chats even better!

I'd love to share with some quality people out there. 

I've posted a couple of pics hoping some would want to contact me & have this kind of dialogue. I've gotten a few complements which I appreciate, but definitely looking for more.

I hope this board and these posts get us going toward that.

Stephen (no pic this time hehe)


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## Jeannie (Nov 7, 2005)

I'm loving these responses. Thank you so much *Keith* for getting this thread started!

*Cute_Obese_Girl *made an excellent point about not needing to see you guys bare your soul here. That's always welcome of course but just taking some steps to communicate in _any_ way (besides saying - "Hey, tell me what you think of my pic!") is what so many of us are hoping to see. 

*Fullback4439 *, your post brought something to mind I'd like to comment on. Now this probably isn't true for every FFA reading this board, but I think I can safely say that many of us want to get to know you on the board before we begin private chats with you. I've run across many BHM here who would love to have private chats but aren't willing to post on the board. For me, if I don't know anything about your personality, no matter how fine I may think your pic looks, I'm just not going to be very interested in a private chat. Without exception, all the close associations I've made with BHM here have started on the board. When you put yourself out there, showing people you're a nice guy, with intentions of actually communicating and not just looking to have your ego stroked, you'll become so much more attractive to us. We will want to spend time with you privately because we KNOW we already like you. I think it's unreasonable to think that you can lurk 100% of the time, or just posts pics, and expect women to respond enthusiastically to requests for private chats. _Most _women aren't wired that way. And btw, just introducing yourself doesn't count as participating!  Put a little effort into making this board more fun and more interesting for _everyone _and I'm sure your _personal _experience will be much more satisfying. :kiss2:

I _would_ be interested in a group chat but I can guarantee you how it would go. Several BHM would show up and a few FFAs. There would be a few lines of "hey everyone!" and then the private messaging would start because the guys want to talk privately. The group conversation would stall, the lurkers would continue to lurk, the women would be overwhelmed with messages coming in, and the guys would be frustrated because the experience wasn't very satisfying personally. Our group is just too small for it to go any differently unless everyone was willing to keep all the talk public. When you have a chat room like the BBW/FA, there are a lot of people to begin with so the private messaging doesn't stop all the room banter. At least it doesn't when it's busy. I actually haven't been in there in a few years, but last time I was, the conversation in the room moved. Several years ago, we had a group of friends on this board that would get together for regular chats and they were usually quite fun. But the thing was, we were all *friends* on the board first! We didn't private message because we were going there for the group experience. I enjoy chatting with people I know and like from the board (*chatty* noobs too!). Everyone is happy and engaging in that situation and it's fun! Go into the BHM/FFA chat room here and you will see 3 or 4 people in there private messaging. Yawn. So, there is one more reason to participate on the board! If we develop friendships as a group, the way the BBW/FA groups have, chats will be much more likely to happen and when they do it will actually be something enjoyable! I know some people will say they will keep it a "room" experience but what invaribly happens is there will be those that go only to private message and they tie all the women up in private chats causing a very boring situation for those that want a fun group experience. We just don't have enough women (yet) to make the outcome any different unless everyone turns IMs off. Offenders of the no IM rule should be "outed" in the room and publicly flogged!  I don't see it working out any other way.


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## It's Just Me (Nov 7, 2005)

Jeannie said:


> I _would_ be interested in a group chat but I can guarantee you how it would go. Several BHM would show up and a few FFAs. There would be a few lines of "hey everyone!" and then the private messaging would start because the guys want to talk privately. The group conversation would stall, the lurkers would continue to lurk, the women would be overwhelmed with messages coming in, and the guys would be frustrated because the experience wasn't very satisfying personally.



I agree that a group chat could be a lot of fun for everyone. But Jeannie is right about how easily a group chat can degenerate into nothing but IMs. Right now, I don't know anyone on this board, and wouldn't feel comfortable in an IM-chat situation. I would much prefer getting to know people first so that hopefully friendships develop that would make chatting and/or IMing natural and fun. A board like this can be an ideal medium for that to happen.


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## missaf (Nov 7, 2005)

What I find to be true of some (not all) BHMs is that they're looking for support, validation, acceptance, and occasionally a relationship. Others are here simply because they enjoy food and want to share their thoughts out loud. 

Why am I here? This is the only place on the web I've found that allows FFAs to express their desires without being placed in a position for ostracism. I enjoy the conversation and the pictures and the occasional PM chat, but mostly I'm here to show the guys and gals there are ladies out there who enjoy their fat bodies. I'm not a gainer or encourager or feeder, I'm just here...


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## Obesus (Nov 8, 2005)

Famous German Psychologist...rival to Freud, believed that human potential is really activated by community involvement and developing a sense of contributing to the good of all. Community-building is what I think a good focus for this board could be, since there is a fragmented and defocused community at this point...we do need to be able to have discussions about something more than fat..how we are as human beings and how we can and could interact in more developed ways....I think the real key is social modelling by folks who are more comfortable with the social role, so that others who may not "get" the importance of social life start to join in and really contribute to the richness and depth of the boards...:bow:


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## truetummylover (Nov 13, 2005)

Hi, I am new here. I have been what you call an FFA since I can remember but whenever I shared this with others I was branded as weird and taunted mercilessly. I succumbed to society pressure and never spoke about it again... that is until a few months ago when I met some "friends" online and discovered some yahoo groups. I felt almost free again... at least in these forums. I am not weird and while my SO now knows my preferences and will gently tease me I know it's not in him to gain so I hope I can find others here to share my thoughts and fantasies with. I have even been lucky enough to find an online "friend" who will eat for me and I have actually done so for him. It is a very sensual feeling and I am not ashamed any more to feel that way but I am still hesitant to "come out" to everyone about it. Does any of this make sense? I love the stories and had written some myself which I am trying to get the courage to share since I have been reading all of the ones on this site and feel I should give something back. Now I am rambling and hadn't meant to go on so long... not usually so long winded. It's just nice to find other women who think along the same lines... Thanks for listening


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## SherbetLemon (Nov 14, 2005)

truetummylover said:


> Hi, I am new here. I have been what you call an FFA since I can remember but whenever I shared this with others I was branded as weird and taunted mercilessly. I succumbed to society pressure and never spoke about it again... that is until a few months ago when I met some "friends" online and discovered some yahoo groups. I felt almost free again... at least in these forums.



Yeah, I can really relate to the 'being branded as weird and taunted mercilessly' thing - me too, although not about being FFA - I never got as far as even confessing to like fat guys but I could judge likely reactions from other stuff people said. Since I started lurking on this board, Ive started hinting that this is my preference to various friends and had a positive reaction which was great, and once in a foreign language class which was kind of tricky as I had to field comments about liking fat guys while not speaking in English... I still wouldnt like to bring it up in most general situations with aquaintences though.

As for the board, I like to see discussions about...well not strictly 'serious' topics necessarily but discussions with some substance to them; I don't mean the kind where people just flirt with each other. I've no objection to people doing that but I find it boring and I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now.

Personally, although I think I can see why BHMs would want to post pics and get feedback, since this is a stage non BHMs usually go through as teenagers, I have to say it doesnt grab my attention. 

One thing I really do like is when people recommend other websites related to BHM stuff - TV and film BHMs, news links, FFA websites, etc.


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## missaf (Nov 14, 2005)

I do have to add that something that's wonderful that comes out of posting here is a greater sense of security for going "out there" and being secure in the fact that that my tastes are my own, and while we all dont' agree, we have one thing in common. By complimenting a BHM, or when I go out with a BHM and share with him that he's attractive, and list ALL the reasons why, they also pick up on that confidence and learn that they're acceptable to someone else.

While some BHMs I've met have bad self esteem, my current friend does not. He's comfortable with his size and has even pierced his sexy nipples! We go out to day spas and he walks around without a shirt and is who he is. He teaches high school, and his confidence surprises his students, they don't know what to think until they learn that he's pretty damn cool. I'm proud to show him off when we go places, and I'm proud that we call each other friends


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## AtlasD (Nov 16, 2005)

Desiring to be fat and deliberate weight gain are such alien concepts in our society, that I think a lot of the guys on the board (IMHO) are looking for some support and validation. Or perhaps these concepts are not so alien after all, but they are not as openly expressed as what appears to be a national obession to be thin. The "ideal body" as portrayed in advertising and the media is a long throw from what most of us are, and some of us want to go the opposite route. Obesus referred to the "fat subculture", and we certainly are not mainstream. Is this because we are iconoclasts by nature, or perhaps we are "rebelling" against the corporate advertising that is constantly "telling" us how we should look, dress and eat? If not for this board, where could we express such thoughts without fear of ridicule and derision? I agree, many of the guy posts here are quick hits, a belly shot and run (I am guilty too). But there are some more thoughtful posts from time to time.

I think I am just hard wired to want to be fat, it's been something with me since adolesecence, and only now in my middle age have I found the courage to deliberately act and deliberately gain. Maybe peer pressure doesn't matter anymore. When I walk on cobblestone walkways I can feel my belly wobble, a new sensation for me and one I find pleasurable. A few weeks ago, my wife said "your're getting fat". I just said "yeah, I know". But lately she has been rubbing my soft tummy at night, and she has taken to calling me her "teddy bear". She packs my lunch with goodies. While she has not openly said she likes me fatter, it certainly seems to be the message. There are probably a lot of women all there who prefer their guys on the cuddly side, but again societal pressure make this difficult for them to openly express.

I don't know where this post is going, but I have rambled on enough. Just want to close with a "Thanks, Conrad" for creating this forum.


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