# I can't be the only fat person to go to college.



## thatgirl08 (Sep 5, 2009)

I'll keep this short but basically, I saw the desks at the college I'm going to starting Tuesday and they appear to be terribly small. I discussed the situation with a few people, including students who have gone to the school for a year already, and everyone thinks I'm going to be fine but I'm still pretty :/ about the situation. The sucky part is that short of making a request, I don't think I'll have a chance to try the desks out beforehand. The last thing I want to do is get there and try to squeeze in and I can't. I'm terribly nervous about this. This is the kind of shit that makes me wish I wasn't fat sometimes because it's like, something so simple as the desks become this huge issue. Some people have suggested requesting special desks but honestly, I'd rather drop out and take online classes and YES I'm actually considering this because of the damn desks. This is ridiculous, I know but I can't help it. I'm not really even sure what I'm expecting from this thread but a little reassuring, some suggestions or a story/concern of your own is more than welcome.


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## BigBeautifulRed (Sep 5, 2009)

Hey, 
I noticed people larger than myself sitting at a table or something. I know some classes have tables. They're small so that they can squeeze more fish into the net, and make tuition cheaper. My suggestion, try to get an end-seat


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## fiore (Sep 5, 2009)

Hey, Thatgirl.

Couple of things. First of all, no, you're not the first fat person to go to college. I'm sure you know that already.

Secondly, I don't know what school you're heading off to, but neither of the 2 colleges I went to (one small liberal arts, then to large state school) had uniform furniture throughout the campus. The chairs and desks and tables and lab stations etc etc varied from room to room, floor to floor, building to building, campus to campus. So if you saw something that made you nervous, don't worry. It may only be that room.

If you're really worried about it, go take a walk around campus during odd hours or over the weekend when there won't be classes going on and take a look for yourself. You really should be walking around getting yourself acquainted with campus anyway. Try out the desks. If one classroom is a bad situation, go snag a bigger desk from down the hall and drag it in there. Then make sure to get to class early to take the good seat.

I know the horrific scenario you're playing in your head. Go for the preemptive strike. Go check it out. I know I went on lots of late night breaking into science lab type adventures in college. It will be fun, and it will give you some feeling of ownership over the school. (sounds weird, i know, but until i violated the school I didn't feel like I belonged. oooh. saucy.) I'm not saying steal things, but go sneaking around and seeing for yourself. You'll be armed and ready and you'll have already performed a recon on the territory. You'll feel in control.

I was an RA - if any other freshmen need to talk, message me, haha!


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## tonynyc (Sep 5, 2009)

Hopefully others can offer some suggestions - but, in the interim 

You might want to check the School's website regarding "Requesting Reasonable Accommodations"


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## thatgirl08 (Sep 5, 2009)

Hey Fiore, I don't mean to shoot you down because I appreciate the advice but all the rooms are locked and I'd have to make a special request to try a desk. I'd rather not do that. I did go check out my specific class rooms - all have the desks I mentioned.. how'd I get lucky enough to pick those classrooms?  Thanks to everyone for their suggestions, I appreciate it.


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## Inhibited (Sep 5, 2009)

Not to sure if the furniture in this link is the type of desk/chair you are talking about, but it has measurements, not to sure if it will be helpful or not, as i'm sure you have already googled in regards to the situation. 
http://www.made-in-china.com/showro...-Classroom-Chair-Desk-College-Desk-Chair.html


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## AnotherJessica (Sep 5, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> Hey Fiore, I don't mean to shoot you down because I appreciate the advice but all the rooms are locked and I'd have to make a special request to try a desk. I'd rather not do that. I did go check out my specific class rooms - all have the desks I mentioned.. how'd I get lucky enough to pick those classrooms?  Thanks to everyone for their suggestions, I appreciate it.



At my college, a lot of the classrooms had a combination of different desks and some were a little larger than others. I always went to class early before other students got there and that way I could scope out a more comfortable desk. I'm pretty big and I was never able to not fit into one. Sometimes it was a tight fit and not the most comfortable thing but I managed just fine. That was my experience, I don't know if that helps at all though.


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## LovelyLiz (Sep 5, 2009)

I totally resonate with you on this. At my undergraduate school there were some classrooms that only had those chairs w/ attached desks...and it was a tight squeeze. Tho I also agree with Fiore that most colleges do have different set-ups from room to room, and I found that even among those chairs w/ desks, some styles/models were bigger than others. But the anticipation and anxiety of whether it will work out; that can be hard. I've totally been there.

Once I was in a big lecture-hall type class in an auditorium (with movie theater style seats and teeny desks that fold down). It was pretty much full occupancy and I didn't really like sitting in the seats because 1) half my stomach would end up on top of the little desk, and 2) I didn't like having to fold myself into an origami swan to keep from crowding the person next to me. My solution? Sit in the back on the floor. There I could spread out, lean against the wall, and not worry about desks or crowding other students, etc. I also felt kind of like the badass philosopher chick who does things with my own style and in my own way. Desks?! Who needs 'em.  

I know that won't work in *every* class - like if it's a really small class or everyone sits in a circle or something. But hey, the floor is always there as a last resort. 

If it's any consolation, after I did my undergrad degree I've now gone to two graduate schools, and both of them have large tables w/ chairs instead of the chair w/ built in desk variety. Hopefully that will continue to be the wave of the future.


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## olwen (Sep 5, 2009)

Hey, TG8. Don't freak out too much about the desks. Everyone is right in saying that the desks will not be uniform from room to room. Some will be smaller than others, some will have tops that move, some won't. When I was in college, I just got to class as early as I could so I could snag two desks - one to sit in, and the other to use as a table top. Well I'm left handed and since there was never enough room in the desk for me to neither move or breathe comfortably, nor was there room on the table for my belly and my notebook, I just used another desk. If you are right handed you can still do the same thing, just slide another desk over to you and write on it. If someone tried to sit in that desk, I just politely told them I needed it. There were times when classes were full and I couldn't take a second desk. When that happened, I took a regular chair (if there was one) to sit in and a desk to write on. If there wasn't a chair, then I borrowed the Professor's chair and if a Prof didn't want to give up the chair, then I asked if I could use a corner of their desk to write on. 

Sure it made me stand out if I had to do that, but you know, I put myself thru college and I would tell myself that I didn't spend my hard earned money to waste my time feeling weird about using two desks or whatever it is I needed to do. No one ever got in my face about it, and as the semesters progressed no one seemed to care or notice. Just do what ever it is you need to do to get that piece of paper!


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## olwen (Sep 5, 2009)

womanforconversation said:


> I totally resonate with you on this. At my undergraduate school there were some classrooms that only had those chairs w/ attached desks...and it was a tight squeeze. Tho I also agree with Fiore that most colleges do have different set-ups from room to room, and I found that even among those chairs w/ desks, some styles/models were bigger than others. But the anticipation and anxiety of whether it will work out; that can be hard. I've totally been there.
> 
> Once I was in a big lecture-hall type class in an auditorium (with movie theater style seats and teeny desks that fold down). It was pretty much full occupancy and I didn't really like sitting in the seats because 1) half my stomach would end up on top of the little desk, and 2) I didn't like having to fold myself into an origami swan to keep from crowding the person next to me. My solution? Sit in the back on the floor. There I could spread out, lean against the wall, and not worry about desks or crowding other students, etc. I also felt kind of like the badass philosopher chick who does things with my own style and in my own way. Desks?! Who needs 'em.
> 
> ...



I actually never sat on the floor in those lecture rooms. I just picked an end row seat so I could lean away from the next person, and put my bag in my lap for an even surface to write on.


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## Shosh (Sep 5, 2009)

Hey Thatgirl,

I can understand you feeling nervous about this, but an education is your right, and the college has a duty of care to accomodate students of all differing physical abilities and characteristics, they do here in Australia anyway.

Don't you dare not go to college! It will all sort itself out.

I wish you lots of success in your studies.:bow:


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## LovelyLiz (Sep 5, 2009)

olwen said:


> I actually never sat on the floor in those lecture rooms. I just picked an end row seat so I could lean away from the next person, and put my bag in my lap for an even surface to write on.



Yeah, I've done that before too. But with the floor, I always had a plan B even if all the end seats were already taken by the time I got to class.


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## Vespertine (Sep 5, 2009)

Girl, do I know where you are coming from. Those desks with the chairs attached suck. 

I'm sure that if you contacted your school about your concerns, you would find sensitivity there. College is a big expense, and remember that you're paying /them/, so they have to make you comfortable. The school will likely want to avoid possible lawsuits if nothing else and will help you.

I used to leave the desks up (there were always some that flipped up) and I would bring a clipboard to write on. That might be uncomfortable for some, but it never bothered me. The floor or steps in a large lecture works too. 

Hang in there, lots of us made it through this stuff! Don't give up the college experience!


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## Fallenangel2904 (Sep 5, 2009)

I know what your talking about and those chair SUCK! At my old school we had them, and I had the same anxiety. I fit into them, but it was tight and I wasn't able to have all my books on the table at the same time. Your best bet would be, get to class really early and try it out before hand. I bet you will be able to make it in. I have a rather large tummy myself, and it took some careful positioning, but I fit into them. I was surprised I fit, but I did. If not, I agree with one of the previous responses. There are chairs where the desk part stay up, I would suggest keeping it up and working with a notebook that is sturdy enough to take notes from while on your lap. But seriously, try it out before you panic. I REALLY hope things go okay for you girl. ::hugs:: I've been there and I know how you feel! Keep us posted!


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## QueenB (Sep 5, 2009)

i usually go to classrooms extra early to find out shit beforehand. in my experience the desks are pretty much like the ones in high school (picking the usual dark blue seat desks that are usually roomier), so if you could fit in those, you should be able to fit at your college's desks.

in a classroom with theater seats (that had a little desk that flipped up) i usually get to class early and put my stuff on the chair to the left of me. that way i could flip up that chair's desk instead of mine and just write on that one. it's a little awkward because if you're right-handed, you kind of have to turn your body to write on the desk, but it's more comfortable than writing practically on my belly imo, since my lap is covered by it. 

contacting your college like everyone else said is good advice, too, if you're extra worried.


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## Famouslastwords (Sep 5, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> I'll keep this short but basically, I saw the desks at the college I'm going to starting Tuesday and they appear to be terribly small. I discussed the situation with a few people, including students who have gone to the school for a year already, and everyone thinks I'm going to be fine but I'm still pretty :/ about the situation. The sucky part is that short of making a request, I don't think I'll have a chance to try the desks out beforehand. The last thing I want to do is get there and try to squeeze in and I can't. I'm terribly nervous about this. This is the kind of shit that makes me wish I wasn't fat sometimes because it's like, something so simple as the desks become this huge issue. Some people have suggested requesting special desks but honestly, I'd rather drop out and take online classes and YES I'm actually considering this because of the damn desks. This is ridiculous, I know but I can't help it. I'm not really even sure what I'm expecting from this thread but a little reassuring, some suggestions or a story/concern of your own is more than welcome.



Girl, I went to a small community college that had small desks, unless your belly is disproportionately large you should fit. I'm almost 400 and I fit in them.


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## BBWTexan (Sep 5, 2009)

Though I was lucky enough to have the table/chair set-up in most of my classes, I did have to deal with a couple of desk situations during my years in undergraduate and grad school. Everyone's different in how they handle situations, but I'm the type who will avoid asking for special accomodations at all costs - even to my own discomfort. That's just my choice.

So, here's how I handled the desks I encountered:

Behold your standard slide-in-from-the-left-side desk (this picture is strikingly similar to the desks we had)

View attachment left desk.jpg


I made sure I got to class extra early and I immediately went to the row of desks farthest to the left and then I went to the last desk in the row. I could squeeze a myself into the desk, but inevitably I would have part of my ass hanging off the left side. I was willing to deal with this for a 50-minute class and because of my seating location, no one could see my left side. This helped me deal with the situation because, at the very least, I didn't feel self-conscious or embarrassed. The only one who knew about my overhang was me. I was also fortunate enough to have an empty desk in front of me because I would just put my left foot up on the wire shelf on the bottom of that desk and it helped to alleviate some of the discomfort. 

I should note here that I'm a very bottom-heavy gal, so if you're built differently, you might not even have the overhang I mentioned. 

Don't let the desks stop you - there's always a solution.


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## Suze (Sep 5, 2009)

i remember having to squeeze myself into one when i was in junior high (and considerably larger than i am now) Not. fun.
thankfully it was only 1 specific classroom, but having to do that in every class...? ugh. 
i really hope you find a solution to this. 

how old are those desks anyway? it's about time they ditch the chair + desk in one crap. >: (


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## MsGreenLantern (Sep 5, 2009)

Oh god, I hated those desks. I definitely had some I couldn't fit in at ALL, but in the same room there were a few I could manage with. I always got to class early to assure I got a desk I could use. I also was lucky enough to have polite people, who if they saw I couldn't manage, would offer to switch. Sounds like a fairytale, but it's true. The worst part for me was when my belly smooshed a bit over the desk part and took up some of my writing/book room.


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## Paquito (Sep 5, 2009)

I'm actually having a similiar issue at my college too. For my classes in lecture-style halls, we have seats that swivel out of the desk part (kinda like at fast food restaurants where the chair is attached to the table and comes out), which is kinda difficult to both get into and be comfortable in. But one of my classes almost did me in completely. The desks are smaller than the standard high school ones, and I knew there was no chance in hell I was gonna fit in those. I was about to ask for a different place to sit when voila, the table portion was movable! Thank god, I was able to sit in it (though I have to write in my lap).


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## bigmac (Sep 5, 2009)

MODS - Please delete


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## petunia805 (Sep 5, 2009)

Hey thatgirl08 - Tonynyc has the answer for you, so I wanted to point it out again.



tonynyc said:


> Hopefully others can offer some suggestions - but, in the interim
> 
> You might want to check the School's website regarding "Requesting Reasonable Accommodations"



YES. THIS.

I have gone to both Community College, and a 4 year University and couldn't fit into any of the desks. I had Texas's problem of butt hang as well as the belly on the desk mentioned earlier. I was hovering in the 420lbs range in Community College and later closer to 510lbs at the University. 

The point is that BOTH of them are REQUIRED BY LAW to make reasonable accommodations for you. I went to the disability offices of both institutions, and told ONE PERSON my situation. They made arrangements to have a chair and table that separate from each other placed in the classrooms on my schedule for my use. They were labeled "Reserved for specific student - DO NOT USE" and that let other students know Not to sit there. No one sat in them, no one even mentioned them. The professors knew that they were for me, so if anyone had tried, they would have been asked to move long before I got there. 

I dunno about you, but my time is valuable, and I can't be wasting time getting everywhere 10 minutes before everyone else, to be sure I can sit down. You pay your fees like everyone else, and have the right to sit and learn like everyone else. Not our fault they chose to buy seats for ADULTS from the same people that make them for tiny teens. 

Know your rights. Be Proactive. Don't get discouraged.

By the way....what's your major?


(sorry about the previous post - in my zeal to reply, I forgot to make hubby log out when I kicked him out of his chair.)


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## KHayes666 (Sep 5, 2009)

Not to kill the mood or anything, but I wouldn't be complaining about college too much.

My parents worked themselves to death to provide for me and my sister, and because they drained their own funds so we all could live....they couldn't afford for me to go to college.

They're about to file for bankruptcy in order to keep my younger sister in college, but someone had to take a bullet and that someone was me. I never went, and probably never will because I simply can't afford it.

Normally I'd agree with the bitching about small desks, hell even high school ones were snug and I was 152 pounds my senior year.......but for someone who never could afford to go, it hurts to see people put it down. Again, I agree about the desks but be more appreciative that you're there period, others aren't able to go.


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## Suze (Sep 5, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> Not to kill the mood or anything, but I wouldn't be complaining about college too much.
> 
> My parents worked themselves to death to provide for me and my sister, and because they drained their own funds so we all could live....they couldn't afford for me to go to college.
> 
> ...


are you fucking serious???


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## AnnMarie (Sep 5, 2009)

Anyway - about those desks. 



All colleges have accessibility offices now, so you're welcome to contact them even if it's about trying the desk beforehand. They're designed to deal with these types of issues and are very sensitive to meeting student needs. 

I wish I'd known about that possibility when I was in school because by senior year I had anxiety issues surrounding even going to/getting to class (5th floor walk up brownstones in Boston with only 15 mins between classes and sometimes 8 blocks away) and it made everything much harder for me. 

The mental weight of something as simple as a chair that fits is something that can make your entire experience different, so while I fully understand not wanting to make a case about a chair - I urge you to reconsider or at the very least get a chance to try the chair on before classes so that piece of anxiety has been addressed. 

No one should miss an education because of a chair. It's something that's easy to address - so please let them and get what you deserve in regard to your college experience.


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## AnotherJessica (Sep 5, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> Not to kill the mood or anything, but I wouldn't be complaining about college too much.
> 
> My parents worked themselves to death to provide for me and my sister, and because they drained their own funds so we all could live....they couldn't afford for me to go to college.
> 
> ...




Not to derail the thread by replying to this but plenty of people including myself get no financial help from their parents for college and still manage to attend. Not that college is even the right choice for everybody but if you wanted to go, there are options such as scholarships, student loans, etc. I really don't think it should be the responsibility of parents to pay for their child's college education. Sure, it's nice if they can afford to help but as I said, there are other options available to you.


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## vardon_grip (Sep 5, 2009)

I echo others that have posted before about the need to notify the school to help you fit your needs. They can't help if they don't know. 
Besides, just about every school in the nation has a stack of these or can get a stack of these...





(Holds 500lbs COST-$19.99)

In the mean time, if you are so inclined, there are portable beach chairs that
you can tote along with you to class. Never worry about not having a place to sit ever again! Just kick out that crappy, small desk; unfold your beach chair then kick back and let the waves of higher learning wash over you. 






(Holds 500lbs. Weighs 11lbs. COST-$49.95 Has TWO drink holders)
http://www.livingxl.com/store/en_US...=true&catID=cat70187&prodId=X1003&id=cat70187


Good Luck.


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## kayrae (Sep 5, 2009)

Just to echo everyone else's sentiments about notifying the college beforehand. They will provide a desk and chair for you because it's mandated by law to reasonably accommodate you. And I'm saying this as someone who has worked in a college for over 10 years.


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## Weeze (Sep 5, 2009)

Woman. We talked about this. You'll be fine  
I think you may also be getting some first-day jitters along with the desk issue. Breath.
If you can't fit, let someone that seems cool know. If you're not comfortable going to some students with disabilities whatever guy, don't. If you're comfortable going to say, your women's studies prof about it, do it. It's been my experience that you don't necessarily have to go to one SPECIFIC person about a problem, because pretty much anyone with authority would be able to help you out, or get you to the right people that can. 


Oh, and Khayes. I work 2 jobs and partially supporting my family, and I'm still in college. You'd be suprised with the amount of help the government can actually give you if you do it right.


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## frankman (Sep 5, 2009)

krismiss said:


> [...]If you're not comfortable going to some students with disabilities whatever guy, don't. If you're comfortable going to say, your women's studies prof about it, do it.[...]



Ultimate thread derail post sequence activated: 

I absolutely love your example. Don't go to a whatever-_guy_, go to a prof-_girl_! Not just a girl, but a girl who teaches girls about the history of girls. Because sexism is alive and instilled in every one of us.

I mean absolutely no disrespect, Krismiss, I actually really like the posts I've read from you. It just that I love how this is the first example to pop up in your head; chicks helping chicks. It's real and it happens to everyone. That's how deep sexist cultural stigma goes. Great stuff.

Carry on.


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## Weeze (Sep 5, 2009)

frankman said:


> Ultimate thread derail post sequence activated:
> 
> I absolutely love your example. Don't go to a whatever-_guy_, go to a prof-_girl_! Not just a girl, but a girl who teaches girls about the history of girls. Because sexism is alive and instilled in every one of us.
> 
> ...



*sigh* I used the term "guy" in place of person, just like people say "the dude" in place of PERSON. I went to elementary school in the 90's. It rubbed off. How do I know whether or not the disabilities dude is a male or female? I don't
Oh. and. way to assume the women's studies prof. is female. Aren't guys capable of teaching women's lit and such?


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## frankman (Sep 5, 2009)

krismiss said:


> [...]
> Oh. and. way to assume the women's studies prof. is female. Aren't guys capable of teaching women's lit and such?



Great stuff, catching me on my own shit. That's just... Wow.:bow:


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## Weeze (Sep 5, 2009)

frankman said:


> Great stuff, catching me on my own shit. That's just... Wow.:bow:



hehehe i'm good :wubu:


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## Fallenangel2904 (Sep 5, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> Not to kill the mood or anything, but I wouldn't be complaining about college too much.
> 
> My parents worked themselves to death to provide for me and my sister, and because they drained their own funds so we all could live....they couldn't afford for me to go to college.
> 
> ...



I agree with what your saying- don't take it for granted- but she wasn't complaining, she was just genuinely worried about the situation, she wasn't bitching. To have to fear something as simple as not being able to fit in a chair is a horrible feeling- I know- so she merely came to us for support. I see nothing wrong with it. 

Having said that- I myself have NO support financially from family. I am putting myself though college 100 percent by myself. I grew up with a lot of financial hardship, and from an early age knew there was no way my family would be able to contribute to my education. I have student loans up the ASS, as do a lot of people who are not fortunate enough to have their parents pay their way. I'm not knocking you at all, I'm just saying not everyone has parents to put them through college, but plenty of people do it on their own.


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## BBWTexan (Sep 5, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> Not to kill the mood or anything, but I wouldn't be complaining about college too much.
> 
> My parents worked themselves to death to provide for me and my sister, and because they drained their own funds so we all could live....they couldn't afford for me to go to college.
> 
> ...



Would you go into a thread about the trouble with booths in restaurants and respond that no one should complain because some people can't afford to eat out?

I have a BBA and an MBA that I paid for (and am still paying for) 100% on my own with no financial help from my parents or anyone else. If you want to go to college, there's a way. Look into Stafford Loans and scholarships; that's how I did it. I also worked two jobs while in school full-time in order to cover the gaps. It's not easy, but if you want it bad enough you can make it happen all on your own. If you choose not to pursue an education, that decision is yours and yours alone. It's not fair to come in here and trivialize the concerns and issues of others just because of your situation. I realize you were just trying to point out that people should be grateful for what they have, but the point here is that these other issues (no seating, etc) can often prevent people from having that very thing. 

I'd be happy to point you in the direction of some financial options for education as I became quite and expert throughout undergrad and grad school - shoot me a PM if interested.


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## Tooz (Sep 5, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> I'll keep this short but basically, I saw the desks at the college I'm going to starting Tuesday and they appear to be terribly small. I discussed the situation with a few people, including students who have gone to the school for a year already, and everyone thinks I'm going to be fine but I'm still pretty :/ about the situation. The sucky part is that short of making a request, I don't think I'll have a chance to try the desks out beforehand. The last thing I want to do is get there and try to squeeze in and I can't. I'm terribly nervous about this. This is the kind of shit that makes me wish I wasn't fat sometimes because it's like, something so simple as the desks become this huge issue. Some people have suggested requesting special desks but honestly, I'd rather drop out and take online classes and YES I'm actually considering this because of the damn desks. This is ridiculous, I know but I can't help it. I'm not really even sure what I'm expecting from this thread but a little reassuring, some suggestions or a story/concern of your own is more than welcome.



You might wanna read my threads on Dims about this at UB.

Where are you going?


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## thatgirl08 (Sep 5, 2009)

Tooz said:


> You might wanna read my threads on Dims about this at UB.
> 
> Where are you going?



MCC in Rochester. Where can these threads be found?

Thank you to everyone who responded (minus Khayes..)


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## Dr. Feelgood (Sep 5, 2009)

Thatgirl, I believe (along with Krismiss) that you'll be fine. Here's why:

(1) I've seen your picture, and you're about the same size as (or smaller than)several of my students who have no problems with the furniture.

(2) You are a WHOLE LOT smaller than a lady friend of mine (6 feet tall, 400 pounds) who went through 4 years of college without needing special accommodation (she did have trouble with calculus, though ).

(3) If you DO need special accommodation -- for any reason -- some wise people have coached you on how to get it.:happy:

(4) Both high schools and colleges order their furniture from the same catalogs. If you made it through high school with all your limbs, there is every reason to expect you will do the same in college. This is not to say that you will find college desks comfortable, but nobody else does either.


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## Tooz (Sep 5, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> MCC in Rochester. Where can these threads be found?
> 
> Thank you to everyone who responded (minus Khayes..)



Just go to my profile and find like "TOOZ MADE THESE THREADS" or whatever, lol. Some might be helpful, but it might be more to let you know you aren't alone. I spent a lot of time in the student advocacy offices, the disability offices and equity offices.


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## olwen (Sep 5, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> Not to kill the mood or anything, but I wouldn't be complaining about college too much.
> 
> My parents worked themselves to death to provide for me and my sister, and because they drained their own funds so we all could live....they couldn't afford for me to go to college.
> 
> ...



Dude, neither of my parents could afford to send me or any of my sisters to college. All four of us put ourselves thru college. We all worked either full time or part-time, got financial aid, student loans and scholarships. Hell, I had to scramble when my financial aid ran out, but I still found a way to finish. 

Now, I work full-time, I pay my half of the rent and I'm still working on applying to school for a second degree. That your parents can't afford to send you is no excuse not to go. Where there is a will there is a way.


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## katherine22 (Sep 5, 2009)

olwen said:


> Dude, neither of my parents could afford to send me or any of my sisters to college. All four of us put ourselves thru college. We all worked either full time or part-time, got financial aid, student loans and scholarships. Hell, I had to scramble when my financial aid ran out, but I still found a way to finish.
> 
> Now, I work full-time, I pay my half of the rent and I'm still working on applying to school for a second degree. That your parents can't afford to send you is no excuse not to go. Where there is a will there is a way.



Before I would allow furniture to be the determinant of whether I went to college, I would sit my big fat ass on the floor. To avoid seeing my face in the local newspaper furniture that was appropriate would be provided.


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## MatthewB (Sep 5, 2009)

Hey, *thatgirl*, I think I've seen girls at my campus today who are probably bigger than you, and, since this is a state university, there's probably accomodations here, so, if they've got 'em here, them must have them at Rochester.


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## tonynyc (Sep 5, 2009)

petunia805 said:


> Hey thatgirl08 - Tonynyc has the answer for you, so I wanted to point it out again.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



================

*Just adding to point made by Petunia805*

*This was from the MCC website -hope this is the right college you were referring to*

*Monroe Community College* recognizes the importance of encouraging and helping students with disabilities reach their full potential. In accordance with the *Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973,* *the College ensures that admission, services, activities, facilities, and academic programs are accessible to and usable by qualified students with disabilities*. 

*Reasonable accommodations *are available to students who identify themselves as having a disability and as being otherwise qualified for admission to the College. 

Each student is responsible for providing documentation of his/her disability and requesting appropriate accommodations. The intent of reasonable accommodations is to provide all students with the same opportunities for success and for mastery of academic skills. 


*Steps to Take
*

File an application for admission to the College.


Submit proof of disability documentation.


Complete placement testing.


Make an appointment with a counselor in the Counseling and Advising Center on the Brighton Campus or Student Services Center at the Damon Campus: 

for advisement and registration information and assistance 

to review documentation 

to request academic support services


Make an appointment with Arlene Phillips, Coordinator of Services for Students with Disabilities, on the Brighton Campus or Michael Johnson, Counselor, on the Damon Campus to arrange for support services. 
EXCEPTION: All deaf or hard of hearing students should contact Barbara Arnone, Advisor, Counseling and Advising Center.


Attend the College Orientation program.


*Meet with each of your instructors during the first week of classes to discuss your accommodation needs. *

*Source:*

MCC


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## Mathias (Sep 5, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> Not to kill the mood or anything, but I wouldn't be complaining about college too much.
> 
> My parents worked themselves to death to provide for me and my sister, and because they drained their own funds so we all could live....they couldn't afford for me to go to college.
> 
> ...



Do you even think before you post? Let me tell you something. I use a power chair to get around my campus, and the school is required BY LAW to provide accommodations for me, and all others who ask for it.

Last semester the school put me on the second floor because the head of residence more or less told me that they didn't have anywhere else to put me. Should I have not been pissed? The elevator broke EIGHT FUCKING TIMES! One of which while I was still inside of it. The other broke at 8:30 one morning and wasn't fixed until 3:30 that afternoon. Should I have just "dealt" with the fact that I was stuck in my room all day and couldn't get food, and had to give my roommates my id so they could get food for me, or the fact that I missed all of my classes that day? Should I have been more appreciative then Kevin?

Am I bitching too much for you?


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## mediaboy (Sep 5, 2009)

Mathias said:


> Do you even think before you post? Let me tell you something. I use a power chair to get around my campus, and the school is required BY LAW to provide accommodations for me, and all others who ask for it.
> 
> Last semester the school put me on the second floor because the head of residence more or less told me that they didn't have anywhere else to put me. Should I have not been pissed? The elevator broke EIGHT FUCKING TIMES! One of which while I was still inside of it. The other broke at 8:30 one morning and wasn't fixed until 3:30 that afternoon. Should I have just "dealt" with the fact that I was stuck in my room all day and couldn't get food, and had to give my roommates my id so they could get food for me, or the fact that I missed all of my classes that day? Should I have been more appreciative then Kevin?
> 
> Am I bitching too much for you?



Burn the fucking building down.


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## Mathias (Sep 5, 2009)

mediaboy said:


> Burn the fucking building down.



I'm on the 1st floor this time around.


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## squurp (Sep 5, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> I'll keep this short but basically, I saw the desks at the college I'm going to starting Tuesday and they appear to be terribly small. I discussed the situation with a few people, including students who have gone to the school for a year already, and everyone thinks I'm going to be fine but I'm still pretty :/ about the situation. The sucky part is that short of making a request, I don't think I'll have a chance to try the desks out beforehand. The last thing I want to do is get there and try to squeeze in and I can't. I'm terribly nervous about this. This is the kind of shit that makes me wish I wasn't fat sometimes because it's like, something so simple as the desks become this huge issue. Some people have suggested requesting special desks but honestly, I'd rather drop out and take online classes and YES I'm actually considering this because of the damn desks. This is ridiculous, I know but I can't help it. I'm not really even sure what I'm expecting from this thread but a little reassuring, some suggestions or a story/concern of your own is more than welcome.



Some states require public institutions to accommodate people of size. If you make a request to the university, they make you more comfortable.


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## Paquito (Sep 5, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> Not to kill the mood or anything, but I wouldn't be complaining about college too much.
> 
> My parents worked themselves to death to provide for me and my sister, and because they drained their own funds so we all could live....they couldn't afford for me to go to college.
> 
> ...



complaint of desk size = hatred of higher education and and lack of desire to be there.

Totally makes sense.


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## KHayes666 (Sep 6, 2009)

Mathias said:


> Do you even think before you post? Let me tell you something. I use a power chair to get around my campus, and the school is required BY LAW to provide accommodations for me, and all others who ask for it.
> 
> Last semester the school put me on the second floor because the head of residence more or less told me that they didn't have anywhere else to put me. Should I have not been pissed? The elevator broke EIGHT FUCKING TIMES! One of which while I was still inside of it. The other broke at 8:30 one morning and wasn't fixed until 3:30 that afternoon. Should I have just "dealt" with the fact that I was stuck in my room all day and couldn't get food, and had to give my roommates my id so they could get food for me, or the fact that I missed all of my classes that day? Should I have been more appreciative then Kevin?
> 
> Am I bitching too much for you?



Remind me to wheel you to the nearest empty elevator shaft, OF COURSE I think before I post. For someone like me who's been hearing about my sister being afraid she won't be able to afford school, watching my mom cry because she can barely help her.....and then have other people bitch about the sizes of chairs, it does get to me.

I may be a rotten sonovabitch in the eyes of many here but I do have a heart. When my family is sad and worried, I feel their pain. 

So what you were stuck in your room all fucking day, you got a day off is what it ammounted to. You still made it to virtually all your other classes before and after right? How many times did we oversleep in high school or not do homework that led to a low grade, shit happens sometimes. 

Why do you think I don't bitch about my job anymore, because others are less fortunate than I am. So many millions of people are out of work and I'm not one of them, so i'm not going to bash my job that people would love to have to support their families.

I never had a chance to enjoy BC, Northeastern or UAB, so for people that are enrolled in their respective schools....just be a little more greatful. The seating may suck, the elevators may break, the food may taste like shit, classes on campus could be a mile away from one another, people may bump into the scenery and may talk like a hayseed....but when its all over you'll have something that puts you a cut above a lot of other people (me included) in the job market. Plus in some cases you'll meet your potential best men/maids of honor, drinking buddies, sorority girls, frat brothers....and other social situations and people that may positively impact your life in one way or another.

That's all I'm saying, certain things may be an inconvienience but the greater good that comes from it far outweighs the bad.


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## Angel (Sep 6, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> *Remind me to wheel you to the nearest empty elevator shaft*, OF COURSE I think before I post. For someone like me who's been hearing about my sister being afraid she won't be able to afford school, watching my mom cry because she can barely help her.....and then have other people bitch about the sizes of chairs, it does get to me.
> 
> I may be a rotten sonovabitch in the eyes of many here but I do have a heart. When my family is sad and worried, I feel their pain.
> 
> ...



You know, that very first half of a sentence .... the attitude behind it.... invalides anything and everything you have to say. 


Was that an attempt at sarcasm or a cowards attempt at a veiled threat?


.... or another one of your immature childish I-don't-have-the-balls-to-actually-post-anything-that-will-get-me-banned-but-I'll-get-as-close-to-a-personal-attack-as-I-can posts?


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## AnotherJessica (Sep 6, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> Remind me to wheel you to the nearest empty elevator shaft, OF COURSE I think before I post. For someone like me who's been hearing about my sister being afraid she won't be able to afford school, watching my mom cry because she can barely help her.....and then have other people bitch about the sizes of chairs, it does get to me.
> 
> I may be a rotten sonovabitch in the eyes of many here but I do have a heart. When my family is sad and worried, I feel their pain.
> 
> ...



Brick wall.


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## KHayes666 (Sep 6, 2009)

Angel said:


> You know, that very first half of a sentence .... the attitude behind it.... invalides anything and everything you have to say.
> 
> 
> Was that an attempt at sarcasm or a cowards attempt at a veiled threat?



It was sarcasm because honestly I can't deal with anymore BS from ppl. If I was to threaten someone I'd walk up to that person face to face, shove him backwards and say "Lets go"

Go ahead and invalidate everything I say, after the week I had and what I saw with my own two eyes....ppl's opinions of me on the internet are the least of my worries.


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## Angel (Sep 6, 2009)

I edited my previous post. You might want to read that.


and panic attacks are no excuse for behaviour.


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## KHayes666 (Sep 6, 2009)

Angel said:


> I edited my previous post. You might want to read that.
> 
> 
> and panic attacks are no excuse for behaviour.



excuse for behavior??? I was saying it caused me several typos, never said anything about behavior. Way to put words in my mouth *claps*

If I wanted to personally attack someone, I wouldn't be passive aggressive about it. People who know me know when I attack, I go right for the jugular.

What he said was a post of sarcastic questions toward me so I responded with a sarcastic response, you call that a personal attack?


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## shiba09 (Sep 6, 2009)

i dunno i've got kind of a belly and i go to college.

p.s

the women on this forum are OH SO SEXY!!


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## Famouslastwords (Sep 6, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> Not to kill the mood or anything, but I wouldn't be complaining about college too much.
> 
> My parents worked themselves to death to provide for me and my sister, and because they drained their own funds so we all could live....they couldn't afford for me to go to college.
> 
> ...



Jesus Christ, what a fucking pity party. At least you have parents. My parents are dead and I'm still going to college. My parents were pieces of shit drug addicts who didn't save shit for college either. If you want to go you'll find a way. Maybe the problem is you have an excuse not to go so you're using that as a crutch or maybe you don't want to go. Maybe you're afraid of the big bad loan. I don't know. But I do know she has a valid concern, and you shat all over it. You know it's when you say insensitive shit like this that knocks you lower and lower in my opinion. I know you don't give a shit about anybody's opinion of you, least of all some girl who you barely know online's opinion, but still.

Maybe your sister should've picked a cheaper college! How's that for insensitivity? Maybe she should've gone to a community college for her AA then got her Bachelor's at a Uni. Maybe your sister is too selfish to think about anyone but herself.

I can't believe I just sunk to your level... now I'mma be in the corner hanging my head in shame.


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## Angel (Sep 6, 2009)

Nope. I don't see any sarcasm whatsoever in this post:



Mathias said:


> Do you even think before you post? Let me tell you something. I use a power chair to get around my campus, and the school is required BY LAW to provide accommodations for me, and all others who ask for it.
> 
> Last semester the school put me on the second floor because the head of residence more or less told me that they didn't have anywhere else to put me. Should I have not been pissed? The elevator broke EIGHT FUCKING TIMES! One of which while I was still inside of it. The other broke at 8:30 one morning and wasn't fixed until 3:30 that afternoon. Should I have just "dealt" with the fact that I was stuck in my room all day and couldn't get food, and had to give my roommates my id so they could get food for me, or the fact that I missed all of my classes that day? Should I have been more appreciative then Kevin?
> 
> Am I bitching too much for you?




KHayes666-

There is a world of difference between 1.) the physical challenges and the mobility challenges that someone who is disabled faces and 2.) not having mommy and daddy pay for college.

Have you ever heard the phrase _walk a mile in their shoes_?

Take a minute and think about your life and all the freedoms you have; and all the possessions you have; and the healthy and physically abled body you have, and all the things you enjoy doing and are capable of doing that involve freedom of movement.

Try to imagine what your life would be like if all of that was either taken away or you could no longer participate in anything you enjoyed that involved physical movement or mobility. Imagine life without the ability to walk or without having any muscle control or strength in your legs. Ever again.





There is absolutely no comparison.


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## MatthewB (Sep 6, 2009)

I agree; I have a condition similar to that, and there's no way I'd wish it onto other people... unless I just couldn't stand them, of course.


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## cinnamitch (Sep 6, 2009)

How is it that someone can come on here, basically insult a poster with an honest concern about accommodations, then insult someone who has a disability and threaten to push them down an elevator shaft while telling everyone that their problems are not a big deal since his are bigger and just be grateful, and has exhibited this behavior before and has managed to avoid being banned? I will take chair activism any day over this BS.


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## frankman (Sep 6, 2009)

Angel said:


> I edited my previous post. You might want to read that.
> 
> 
> and panic attacks are no excuse for behaviour.



By all means keep pounding on Hayes, you all seem to be enjoying it, but the entire "chair situation" is a panic attack too. Come on, taking internet courses for a fucking desk that's not big enough? How is that not panicking? 
Panic attacks seemingly ARE an excuse, at least to create a thread with plenty of (mostly kind) responses...

Broken elevators? Veiled threats? Where the fuck do you get this shit? Tell the dude how he might still apply, what kind of loans there are, make yourselves useful. God knows it's bound to be just as important to him as the size of a chair is to people who already go to college. You want to be the morally superior party? Post links. Show him how easy it is to apply for college. Post pictures of student loan contracts with 2 cup holders. Show him the same courtesy you show the OP. Don't say: "even I made college and I [whatever your personal/physical problem may be]". Tell him how he can do the same thing.

And yeah, this post could have been a whole lot nastier, but I'm too big a pussy to actually post stuff that gets me banned. Go figure.


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## frankman (Sep 6, 2009)

Mods please delete.


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## Friday (Sep 6, 2009)

Kevin, you keep reaching new lows. I'm truly amazed. Quit your whining, get off your pity pot and do something about if you actually have any desire to go to college. Somehow I doubt it though. Too much effort and it'd cut in to your crying time.


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## Gingembre (Sep 6, 2009)

Soo....back to the chairs....


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## KHayes666 (Sep 6, 2009)

*meditates for a minute then points my double .45's in different directions*

Famous....you said your parents were piece of shit drug addicts. My parents are alive, well and very much did everything in their power to take care of me and my sister. Because your parents sucked should mean I shouldn't care about mine in your eyes? When you get a phone call at 2 in the morning from your sister in hysterics because someone you care and love for dearly is crying their eyes out....would you have any time for nonsense? Just because your parents were garbage (in YOUR words not mine) doesn't mean I can't feel for mine any less. Your point is you learned to survive without them, and I can survive without mine...but seeing mine in pain after all they've done for me still hurts. I won't be able to understand having lousy parents, but maybe you can understand that when my family hurts, I do too.


*points in another directions*

cinnamitch.....i can name 8 posters off the top of my head that have personally attacked people with far more severity far more times than I have and were never reprimanded. Again, I didn't even attack someone so I don't know what your beef is....unless there's some feeling of animosity you're not telling us about perhaps?

*points in another direction*

Angel, in terms of physical sense there's no way to compare to someone in a wheel chair. But the overall point is I would have done anything back in the day to go to college and I couldn't, the emotional pain is still there. I may have two functioning legs but that doesn't mean I can't feel for my 83 year old aunt who was in a horrific car crash about 5 months ago that only now is able to walk again. Pain comes in many forms, so when someone with a ride to college I never got is bitching about the seating, its the same inside as someone in a wheel chair listening to someone saying they bumped their knee and it hurts to walk. Physically no, but emotionally it still hurts either way.

*points in final direction*

Matty, sarcastic questions deserve sarcastic responses...nothing personal, just business. Your elevator sucks and my work is 25 minutes in traffic, we both have shit about our daily lives that we both go through for the greater good. Yours being an education, mine being a paycheck. Not saying the broken elevators isn't important, but when you have the opprotunity you have that others don't, at least try to shrug the bad stuff off. 

Big shout out to Frankman too, thanks for at least trying to understand why my head's been spinning for 3 days


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## Red (Sep 6, 2009)

So yes back to the _chairs_...I am pretty sure like many have said before that it is a duty of the college to accomodate you. If it helps, don't think of yourself just as a student but also as a customer. You're paying and deserve to be comfortable just as anyone else studying there would. You shouldn't have to put up with anything that could hinder your learning experience, maybe email the college and clearly explain your concerns and see what their initial response is. I bet you wont be the first person to bring up this query.


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## Tooz (Sep 6, 2009)

Hayes- you wonder why you sit alone at bashes?

Regarding chairs, now that I have some time.

Rachel, I think it might be uncomfortable, but you can probably fit. You are smaller than me I believe, and your build makes it so that you might be ok. I would say to go when there's no one there, find a desk you like (sometimes there's more than one type) and then speak with the professor about "reserving" it or showing up early to claim it.

For all my missed classes and time spent in various offices, I ended up cramming myself in the desks as best I could. I always wondered how people I saw who were bigger than me coped.

I guess the reality is...school is important, and you gotta trudge through.


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## deepreflection (Sep 6, 2009)

Everyone has pretty much said what needs to be said so I'll add +1 and my own experience because you're not alone.

As a guy who is big in the middle and weighed between 310 and 340 while attending two schools, I fit in all but the worst circumstance(s). I have sat uncomfortably from time to time, because the discomfort of asking for accommodation isn't something I would do. Now that I'm older I find that I'm tired of the cookie cutter world or lazy people stopping me from doing something so reasonable as sitting to conduct normal business. 

If you can reinforce yourself with a friend for support, make a visit
Psych yourself up to call the office that handles accommodation
Visit the school and test things out
Change your class "section" to one held in another room.
Grab a regular chair and bring a sturdy notebook or laptop to record your notes. I actually prefer this today, I'm a laptop fan.
If the desks flip-top, flip it up and sit. Clipboard/laptop again.
And, look at a tablet PC because if handwriting is part of how you learn or you need hard-to-type things like diagrams and formulas a Tablet PC is *AWESOME* for this. PM or reply and I can go into greater detail
That will get you going! I've done all these things and you are not alone. 

You are paying them for your education! FWIW, I work at a U. and I'm relieved when I help someone get setup with what they need. I remember what I went through. Most folks don't ask. Instead they choose to work from an unlevel playing field. They work harder and shouldn't have to. They owe you to work around the fact that although their purchasing agent only bought one model of desk, their clientele come in all sizes. Fat people are brilliant too. They know that much without argument or scene.


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## intraultra (Sep 6, 2009)

Just adding in my experience to perhaps help....I am around 280 and my belly sticks out moreso than I am wide, which meant I too was terrified of those chairs with the desks attached, but I _always_ managed to fit. Sometimes very uncomfortably, I'll admit, but I always fit. Also, if you can get there early, try out a few different chairs...for some reason some were roomier than others and I was able to learn where the bigger ones were so I could go for one those when I got to class.


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## fatgirlflyin (Sep 6, 2009)

I think someone already said this but the chairs in college classrooms are pretty much the same as the ones in high school so if you did ok in HS you should be ok in college. Your's is a very real fear, one that a person who doesn't LIVE in a fat body wouldn't understand so I'm glad that you posted it here, looking for reassurance. I hope that all these responses have made you feel a little less uneasy about starting school. 

I'd like to go a little off topic, as an old fart (cuz I feel like that some days) one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't stay in college when I started it right out of high school. I'm taking classes now through University of Phoenix to obtain my degree, because between kids and a full time job I just don't have time to go sit in a traditional classroom, but I know how much I missed out on (totally my choice) and I can't help but feel a little bit envious when I hear people sharing college stories. 

Please please please don't let yourself miss out on the frienships and experiences that you'd find in college, not because you are worried about not fitting in a seat. I am also someone who would rather be uncomfortable than do something to call attention to me so I know just how hard it can be to ask for special accomodations. I just hope that if you do need them, you ask for them. You don't want to find yourself at 35, taking college classes online because you have no choice and wishing you did it the other way when you had the opportunity.\


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## Gingembre (Sep 6, 2009)

deepreflection said:


> They owe you to work around the fact that although their purchasing agent only bought one model of desk, their clientele come in all sizes. Fat people are brilliant too. They know that much without argument or scene.



Great post, but I am repping you for this bit. :bow:


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## TraciJo67 (Sep 6, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> Pain comes in many forms, so when someone with a ride to college I never got is bitching about the seating, its the same inside as someone in a wheel chair listening to someone saying they bumped their knee and it hurts to walk.



It's not even in the same constellation, Kevin. 

I wanted to stay out of this mess, because Dog knows, you aren't going to listen to any kind of criticism, constructive or otherwise. But the highlighted sentence? I'm aghast.

Kevin, you didn't go to college because it wasn't a priority for you. Period. The end. Had you wanted to go, *really* wanted to go, you would have found a way. You know this to be true, no matter how much you might gasp and moan and fight against it.

My parents didn't pay a dime towards my college education. They didn't have the money. My husband's family did manage to finance his undergraduate degree -- he paid for his graduate degree by working his ass off as a full-time groundskeeper for the university that he was attending, and he plucked chickens for a local factory, part-time. I didn't have to work as hard as he did, but I worked at least part-time throughout college and full-time while attending graduate school. I have many thousands of dollars of loans that I am still paying back, considering that I didn't "pay as you go" like my husband did. Most of the people who have responded in this thread have also told you that THEY didn't get a free, parent-funded ride themselves -- they went out and obtained loans and grants, all of which are FREELY AVAILABLE to people who wish to go to college and do not have the means to pay for it privately. 

Again. You didn't go to college because, for whatever reason, you chose not to go. Your pity party is misdirected. The only good news here is that, once you acknowledge your own culpability in your life not turning out as you'd like it to be, you are then free to make whatever changes you need to. Up to and including going to college.


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## Weeze (Sep 6, 2009)

Frankman, the chair situation is a VALID "panic". Khayes is just trying get us all to go "aw, poor kevin" and since no one's doing it, he keeps at it. 

Thatgirl has a valid concern about her FAT BODY, and she made a thread about it on a site for people with FAT BODIES. There's nothing wrong with that. 
There *is* something wrong with someone coming on here and telling her to stop whining just because he's jealous that she has the drive to do something and he doesn't.
That's all it boils down to.

EDIT: KEVIN. Ride to college?!?! She NEVER said anyone was paying for it for her, IN FACT I think she's actually said she works a FEW jobs because she's paying for it ON HER OWN.


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## Mathias (Sep 6, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> *meditates for a minute then points my double .45's in different directions*
> 
> Famous....you said your parents were piece of shit drug addicts. My parents are alive, well and very much did everything in their power to take care of me and my sister. Because your parents sucked should mean I shouldn't care about mine in your eyes? When you get a phone call at 2 in the morning from your sister in hysterics because someone you care and love for dearly is crying their eyes out....would you have any time for nonsense? Just because your parents were garbage (in YOUR words not mine) doesn't mean I can't feel for mine any less. Your point is you learned to survive without them, and I can survive without mine...but seeing mine in pain after all they've done for me still hurts. I won't be able to understand having lousy parents, but maybe you can understand that when my family hurts, I do too.
> 
> ...



Way to miss my point, and be a dick about it. You're probably better off not even going to college if you think for one second that the OP, myself or anyone else aren't appreciative of college as a whole just because we feel a need isn't being met, which by the way you never even clarified. Remind me not to shove one of my wheelchair handlebars down your throat.


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## Famouslastwords (Sep 6, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> *meditates for a minute then points my double .45's in different directions*
> 
> Famous....you said your parents were piece of shit drug addicts. My parents are alive, well and very much did everything in their power to take care of me and my sister. Because your parents sucked should mean I shouldn't care about mine in your eyes? When you get a phone call at 2 in the morning from your sister in hysterics because someone you care and love for dearly is crying their eyes out....would you have any time for nonsense? Just because your parents were garbage (in YOUR words not mine) doesn't mean I can't feel for mine any less. Your point is you learned to survive without them, and I can survive without mine...but seeing mine in pain after all they've done for me still hurts. I won't be able to understand having lousy parents, but maybe you can understand that when my family hurts, I do too.



Well I'm not exactly saying that you can survive without your family. I'm saying you can go to college without their help. And you can. Everyone has said it. You should be grateful you have parents that are worth a damn and put your own damn self through college instead of throwing yourself a pity party like you have been.


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## Sweet Tooth (Sep 6, 2009)

I've been on both sides of the classroom equation. When I was a size 20-22ish undergrad, I'd have classes in lecture halls with seats that left me with bruises by the end of the class. I'd try to get tables, but even the skinny people prefer those to uncomfortable seats. I truly struggled sometimes to be motivated to go to class, and I know just plain physical discomfort was a big factor. I was fortunate that my college experience led me to find and embrace size acceptance, though, so perhaps the struggle was worth it.

As a grad student, I'd gotten enough confidence to just make my needs known. People who don't have these issues just don't realize sometimes that the seating is insufficient. It looks wide or deep enough to them, and they just don't think. It's not callousness or prejudice. It's just a matter of not thinking that far. I was fortunate that most of my profs chose to use conference rooms rather than classrooms for my classes. It meant cushy rolling chairs and tables rather than tiny desks.

This last summer*, I had to take a class that met in a traditional classroom. The seats were those things with the half desks that raised up. What I did was this... I found a left-handed desk [usually on the left wall of the room], raised up the arm, sat in it, and put another desk sideways in front of me to use as my writing/laptop space. It worked really well for me. Sure, it would've been better to have a table, but sometimes you have to just make do.

As an administrator, I insist on having at least some tables in all classrooms. It's not just fat people. It can be a really tall guy. The one who struggles the most is one student who's a semi-pro football player. Very tall and very wide. It's amazing how many people will just drop out of school rather than struggle with this, so I beg you to find your strength and seek a solution rather than missing out on educational opportunities. Online classes are okay, but there's something about the whole atmosphere of being with your professor and fellow students in a classroom that isn't easily replicated. Plus, you'll feel so much better having made your request and realizing that the world hasn't come to an end over it.

* About size 28/30 currently, so that should give you an idea of my size and desk issues.


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## frankman (Sep 6, 2009)

krismiss said:


> Frankman, the chair situation is a VALID "panic". Khayes is just trying get us all to go "aw, poor kevin" and since no one's doing it, he keeps at it.
> 
> Thatgirl has a valid concern about her FAT BODY, and she made a thread about it on a site for people with FAT BODIES. There's nothing wrong with that.
> There *is* something wrong with someone coming on here and telling her to stop whining just because he's jealous that she has the drive to do something and he doesn't.
> ...



What makes you think you can decide his is not? If you don't feel like going "aw kevin", then don't. Instead, you people tore him a new asshole. 

I wasn't saying that thatgirl08 has no right or reason to be nervous or anything, but let's face it; she's not the first fat person to go to college, dollars to donuts she's not even the first fat person to attend her specific college, and none of the solutions to her chair/desk problem require more or less original thought than Hayes' problem.

He called this thread trivial, you all called his problem trivial. No wait, if only you did that; you went above the call of duty to tell him he was wrong and tried to fucking destroy him.

That's what it boils down to imho.


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## Weeze (Sep 6, 2009)

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

banned.


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## superodalisque (Sep 6, 2009)

i'm an adjunct and i also take classes. i've been around the system for years. i'm busy and i don't feel like bothering with special arrangements so when i'm not teaching myself, whether observing or taking someone else's class, i just sit in a regular chair--armless. thats my simplest solution personally. i'm comfy like that and there are usually plenty around. i'm not sure if thats what your after because i know a lot of people don't like feeling "different". i guess over these lo many years i really don't care at all anymore if i ever really did-- as long as i'm happy.

respectul advice: i have a lot of fat students. i'll tell you what i tell them. don't make this into a bigger issue for you than it has to be. don't let inanimate objects like beds chairs and sofas terrify traumatize and worry you--or otherwise take over your life. don't cultivate shame and self pity. any horizontal surface you can sit on and will hold you--use it. in a dorm room old books bricks and cinder blocks are your friends. don't be afraid to be different. make it cool that you are different. you are no longer in high school and its time to be an adult and put everything you are going through in its true perspective. in the scheme of things sitting in class shouldn't take up too much of your time because you have much better things to think about--like saving the world and making accomodations for everyone else when you get in a position of power. if you concentrate on that you should be ok. otherwise do something constructive besides complain. organize and protest if you have to. if you aren't a part of the solution you are the problem, not just a part of it.


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## superodalisque (Sep 6, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> Not to kill the mood or anything, but I wouldn't be complaining about college too much.
> 
> My parents worked themselves to death to provide for me and my sister, and because they drained their own funds so we all could live....they couldn't afford for me to go to college.
> 
> ...



i agree sometimes you have to concentrate on the fact that there is something valuable that you do have that others don't. americans tend to take a lot of things for granted--a college to go to and enough food to eat in order to get fat in the first place. we need to travel more and see what the world is composed of. we need to get out of ourselves sometimes. it can help you through the hard days. but it is a good thing other people can help you to mitigate your problems while you are at college.


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## ladle (Sep 6, 2009)

Your Mum Goes to College! 

View attachment kip.jpg


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## Surlysomething (Sep 6, 2009)

This is a legitimate size issue, right? I didn't know not being able to afford college had anything to do with size.

Silly me.

I think it's a lot harder for younger people to go and ask about personal issues like the one the OP is talking about. Being older I don't really have a problem asking for the things I want. And i'm not sure if anyone would agree with this or not but I like to sort of make a joke about it to put EVERYONE at ease and not set myself up for disgusting jokes. 

"You see my ass? It won't fit in THAT!" Haha.


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## crayola box (Sep 6, 2009)

Most people have already covered your various options so just wanted to add one small thing:

you said the rooms are locked so its impossible to go over the weekend or off hours etc. and I can see how maybe going early and having who ever is already there watch you try diff chairs might not be the most attractive option, but perhaps you can get there at the end of another class the day before and try the chairs then- most people will be concerned with leaving and wont notice or care that you are in there testing out the chairs....especially at a community college where there are many night classes for the people who work during the day.. also i know you said the rooms are locked but you may give it a shot anyway. In my experience who ever is in charge of locking the doors often overlooks it or forgets to do it in a timely manner so you have a little lee way between when a class ends and when a door is locked. 

Also unless your school is more state of the art then most there is a good chance that at least some of the chairs in the room are of the variety where the little half desk swivels a bit to make more room, as opposed to the full rectangular desk that comes with the newer chairs...though in my experience those tend to have more space between the chair and desk part then do the half desks so I have no idea if what I just said is at all helpful...

Anyway, good luck on your first day - seriously don't let the chairs keep you from fully enjoying college!


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## tonynyc (Sep 6, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> Not to kill the mood or anything, but I wouldn't be complaining about college too much.
> 
> My parents worked themselves to death to provide for me and my sister, and because they drained their own funds so we all could live....they couldn't afford for me to go to college.
> 
> ...



_
To take your argument in a different light.. Consider yourself blessed. You might not see it that way-but, when/if you decide to pursue higher education ( you don't owe anything to anyone- you do this on your terms)...

There are plenty of Non traditional student (Older Students) that decide to go back to school when the time is right. Some colleges even offer "Life Experience" Credits which my allow you to enter college as an advanced student (based on your life experience). Take the time to go to a Community College/Sr. College and speak with a Guidance Counselor. You never know.

You are a young man (time flies) and if this is something you want to do. make the step to do it. You don't want to wake up and it's suddenly 20-30 years later and u say to yourself ... "Why didn't I make the step to go to college"  

Make the steps Now... 

You and Thatgirl08 have one that one precious commodity "Youth and Time" AND that doesn't last forever... 

_


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## thatgirl08 (Sep 6, 2009)

Tooz said:


> Just go to my profile and find like "TOOZ MADE THESE THREADS" or whatever, lol. Some might be helpful, but it might be more to let you know you aren't alone. I spent a lot of time in the student advocacy offices, the disability offices and equity offices.



Ah, found them! Thanks :]



frankman said:


> I wasn't saying that thatgirl08 has no right or reason to be nervous or anything, but let's face it; she's not the first fat person to go to college, dollars to donuts she's not even the first fat person to attend her specific college, and none of the solutions to her chair/desk problem require more or less original thought than Hayes' problem.



These issues are always trivial to the ones not experiencing them. Until you know what it's like to be a 360 pound teenage girl, do NOT tell me my issues are trivial. You take things like this for granted. How many times do you have to worry that you're going to get somewhere and there will be no where for you to sit or at least nowhere comfortably? Do you ever have to worry about checking ahead or making special accommodations? Or that when you do, people are going to be sitting there judging you? This site is about size acceptance and this IS a size issue. This is one place where I shouldn't have to worry about bringing up this issue and where I shouldn't be ridiculed for being concerned. If you don't 'get it' which clearly neither you or Hayes does, then I don't get why you're here.

Thank you so so so much to every other person who has responded. I've appreciated all the advice and the sympathy. It makes me feel better knowing that some of you have experienced this. My plan is to basically try out the desks as soon as I can and then go to the disability office if necessary. Once again thanks to everyone offering support.


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## katorade (Sep 6, 2009)

frankman said:


> What makes you think you can decide his is not? If you don't feel like going "aw kevin", then don't. Instead, you people tore him a new asshole.
> 
> I wasn't saying that thatgirl08 has no right or reason to be nervous or anything, but let's face it; she's not the first fat person to go to college, dollars to donuts she's not even the first fat person to attend her specific college, and none of the solutions to her chair/desk problem require more or less original thought than Hayes' problem.
> 
> ...



The problem is that he started out berating her problems and making it sound very "me vs. you". He could also have very well said that he thought the problem was going to be not that big a deal and she'll have bigger worries over the next few years, but he didn't. In fact, he didn't even take into account whether or not SHE was readily able to afford an education, either. Not many people can these days!

He set himself up when he replied to Famous. He said it himself. Just because she feels bad about her situation doesn't mean he can't feel bad about his own, or that it's any less trivial in his eyes. The same thing applies to his argument against Thatgirl. Plain and simple. 

Also, she *does* have a very valid worry, and was well within her rights to post it. She's nervous! Everyone was nervous about something when they started college. It's a really scary time in one's life to be 18 and dipping your toes into the world of independence, and sometimes those fears can compound and really peak your anxiety. All she needs is some reassurance that she's not alone and that there ARE ways to handle the situation without making a big stink. 

What she doesn't need are snarky comments from people that have absolutely no idea how humiliating or uncomfortable it can be in ANY setting where size might pose a problem. I know whenever I see a tiny seat as the only available place to sit my heart starts racing because I think of all the times it's been an issue in my life where there _wasn't_ anything I could do about it. It's even worse now that I am both fat and have a physical disability. I didn't have many problems with seating before (except for airplanes. Just fit!), but now that I have a very difficult time both sitting down and standing up, I have to have very specific seating available to me.

TG, maybe you could go in during night class times like crayola said, and rather than sneak into a leaving class, ask a janitor with an administrator's permission (maybe call one earlier in the day and request a signed letter or staff notification) if they would unlock a door for you so you could test them out and tell them they could observe if it was a safety issue. Janitors have seen some crazy fucked up stuff so a fat girl testing seats won't even be a blip on the radar, lol.


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## itsfine (Sep 6, 2009)

I always fit into my furniture at school and I am about 300 lbs. If you are uncomfortable, just talk to the teacher after class, there are there to help you succeed!

(As a side note, I went to state college, worked 54 hours a week to pay for the $20,000 a year + living expenses. 

My parents paid for my older brother to go to a much more expensive school, where he dropped out of! (and he could have gone to the state school I chose to attend for free due to a handicap). Because they are paying for his mistakes, I got maybe $20.00 to help me when I first moved in. My parents never visited/didn't attend graduation because they couldn't afford a good enough car to make the 5 hour drive. I picked up the slack. 

Here is where I am peeved - If I am working 54 hours a week, taking 18 credit hours at the same time, the last thing I want to worry about is fitting into the seats. If you are uncomfortable, how will you be able to get the full advantage for what you are paying for?! I think for 20,000 (or more for some others) it is not unreasonable to ask for a chair and table to sit at. 

So, you may not have sympathy on someone worried about fitting into a seat -- I feel bad that your parents can't give you money for college and know that can be stressful, but take some initiative! Work hard! If you aren't willing to work now, why would you even want to sign up for school?)


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## thatgirl08 (Sep 6, 2009)

frankman said:


> By all means keep pounding on Hayes, you all seem to be enjoying it, but the entire "chair situation" is a panic attack too. Come on, taking internet courses for a fucking desk that's not big enough? How is that not panicking?
> Panic attacks seemingly ARE an excuse, at least to create a thread with plenty of (mostly kind) responses...



Somehow I missed this earlier. You don't know what panic attacks are clearly.. they aren't an excuse to act like an asshole. & yes, before you ask, I do know about panic attacks. A little too well. They wrecked the last year of my life. Do everyone a favor, stay the fuck away from me and any other fat girl. It's sickening how some 'admirers' are quick to turn around and trivialize fat girl issues.


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## Paquito (Sep 7, 2009)

frankman said:


> What makes you think you can decide his is not? If you don't feel like going "aw kevin", then don't. Instead, you people tore him a new asshole.
> 
> I wasn't saying that thatgirl08 has no right or reason to be nervous or anything, but let's face it; she's not the first fat person to go to college, dollars to donuts she's not even the first fat person to attend her specific college, and none of the solutions to her chair/desk problem require more or less original thought than Hayes' problem.
> 
> ...



Considering that he took a thread about a size issue and warped it into calling all of the people who related to having comfort and mobility issues ungrateful of having an education, he gets no sympathy from me. Seriously, if someone could explain to me how worrying about desk size means not giving a damn about college, please point it out to me.


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## crayola box (Sep 7, 2009)

was laying here in bed letting my brain wander and what it came up with was this:

I bet there are a number of people who may not have seen this thread for various reasons but do read the events threads. So i was thinking maybe you can post a question about the desks at MCC on the northeast board in a NY thread, perhaps there are other dimmers in Rochester who have taken classes at MCC and can give first hand experiences and advice...


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## thatgirl08 (Sep 7, 2009)

crayola box said:


> was laying here in bed letting my brain wander and what it came up with was this:
> 
> I bet there are a number of people who may not have seen this thread for various reasons but do read the events threads. So i was thinking maybe you can post a question about the desks at MCC on the northeast board in a NY thread, perhaps there are other dimmers in Rochester who have taken classes at MCC and can give first hand experiences and advice...



Ah good idea. I actually know of one Dimmer who has for sure but it totally didn't even cross my mind to ask him. Thank you!


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## Famouslastwords (Sep 7, 2009)

In other news my kitty likes to eat lite whipped topping. Teehee.:wubu: Oh and marshmallows. What a silly kitty!


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## MatthewB (Sep 7, 2009)

Famouslastwords said:


> In other news my kitty likes to eat lite whipped topping. Teehee.:wubu: Oh and marshmallows. What a silly kitty!


Do you join her in feasting on marshmallows?


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## MatthewB (Sep 7, 2009)

Sorry, double-post.


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## moore2me (Sep 7, 2009)

*Some of Moore2mes responses to previous posters:*

Thatgirl08  If you know what rooms you will be in, find out when they will be open. Sometimes you have to make it 15 or 20 minutes early to a class to check out a room. I have done this. I have also taken chairs out of other classrooms and dragged them down the hall to the room where my class was. As OPs have suggested, I have stolen teachers chairs, used attached desk chairs and sat sideways pulling another desk for writing on, and carried a folding chair in the trunk of my car for emergencies. I have also sweet talked gentlemen into bringing chairs into the room for me when I needed them. 

And, if I was surprised and found myself in a bind and couldnt fit into a set in an emergency situation, as SurlySomething suggested, I have been known to boldly declare my outrage. I make sure most folks in the room can hear my plight (heck they knew what was going on anyway) . . . 
Theres no way my fat butt will fit into that little desk.. . . Too much junk in the trunk.

Mr. Hayes  I am sorry to hear of your parents financial problems. You are fast reaching the age when you feel the need to start taking care of your parents. I have just crossed that threshold myself and it is a new role for me, realizing that my mom may need help with money. As to your sisters and your own education, its not the end of learning just yet. I did not finish my MA until I was in my late 40s by going at nights after work. There were a few in my class that were in their 50s and 60s too. And you should check with your school financial aid office for grants and loans. You would be surprised what is available. I had a substantial grant from the Kellogg Foundation (yes, the cereal family) for a MA degree.

Now, as to your distain of our desk phobia, may I explain. I know you hang around these boards because you appreciate the beauty behind a voluptuous womans body. Well, when we have to cram that tender flesh into a too small, cold, steel cage for 1-3 hours without padding can you imagine what happens? We get bruises, sore spots, and our circulation cut off. Its extremely difficult to learn when you are clamped in a torture device. Its not that were being whiney children, we just dont want to be put back on the Inquisitors rack. 

Mathias  Being wheelchair bound and dependent on an elevator for access to the ground floor in a building is something most able bodied people dont fully understand. What folks should realize is that you could burn to death on the 2nd floor due to a broken elevator. I have a small understanding of what you go thru in that I have extreme difficulty using stairs (due to multiple sclerosis). I was in a hotel once and the fire alarm went off in the middle of the night. I was on the 7th floor. The elevators were locked out, I almost never got down the stairs  it was very scary. I can only imagine how powerless one would feel to depend on an elevator for safety & mobility and have it inoperable.

Mediaboy  You can see why your suggestion for Mathias to burn the building down is a very bad idea.

But, as many OPs pointed out, the best way to assure decent seating is to request accommodation from the office. Dont be scared, put on your big girl pants and do it. You have the right to request reasonable accommodations for ADA defined disabilities. And as SweetTooth stated, there are others who also need seating accommodations  tall folks, football players, people with back problems, etc. There are even more  people who have vision or hearing problems & need to sit close to the board & teacher. I have had blind people with canes or dogs as well in my classes. 

And probably most difficult disabilities to ask accommodations for is to be a fat girl with MS. In that situation you need a seat for a fat butt and one close to the door (for bladder problems and intestinal problems). Hell, you might as well stay home. But how about if you need the college credits to maintain job certifications or if your employer requires you to upgrade your skills? Again, I would just put on my big girl pants and do it.


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## superodalisque (Sep 7, 2009)

absolutely perfect moore!


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## Famouslastwords (Sep 7, 2009)

MatthewB said:


> Do you join her in feasting on marshmallows?



Actually, it's my boy kitty! And sometimes I do!


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## supersizebbw (Sep 7, 2009)

sorry to hear about your anxiety about starting college...i definitely understand where your coming from since last semester i had 2 classes in particular that had those tiny seats with the armrest (i'm 311pounds so obviously couldn't fit in). luckily they were the ones with the adjustable armrest, so since i couldn't fit into the seat when the armrest was up i'd move it out of the way and just take the notes down on my laps on a sturdy notebook. if i was lucky there'd be an empty seat infront to rest my notebook so that my back didn't strain too much when taking notes. i hope you'll be able to find something that'll work for you hun . xoxo



thatgirl08 said:


> I'll keep this short but basically, I saw the desks at the college I'm going to starting Tuesday and they appear to be terribly small. I discussed the situation with a few people, including students who have gone to the school for a year already, and everyone thinks I'm going to be fine but I'm still pretty :/ about the situation. The sucky part is that short of making a request, I don't think I'll have a chance to try the desks out beforehand. The last thing I want to do is get there and try to squeeze in and I can't. I'm terribly nervous about this. This is the kind of shit that makes me wish I wasn't fat sometimes because it's like, something so simple as the desks become this huge issue. Some people have suggested requesting special desks but honestly, I'd rather drop out and take online classes and YES I'm actually considering this because of the damn desks. This is ridiculous, I know but I can't help it. I'm not really even sure what I'm expecting from this thread but a little reassuring, some suggestions or a story/concern of your own is more than welcome.


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## bigmac (Sep 7, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> ... I don't think I'll have a chance to try the desks out beforehand. .... Some people have suggested requesting special desks but honestly, I'd rather drop out and take online classes ... .



Two things to add. I know its hard to ask for assistance (I'm a very shy person and generally don't like asking for help myself). However, your education is too important -- you need to get the whatever accommodations you need to be successful. I'll bet that if you talk to your schools disability office (as my wife Petunia805 did) they will be very helpful and nonjudgmental. Take a friend to advocate for you if you don't think you can do it your self. The disability office will also be able to get you into all your classrooms early so you can see if any accommodations are even needed. Its not too late -- go to the disability office or disability liaison first thing Tuesday morning, before classes start.

Second, while its possible to learn content from online courses, such courses cannot offer a complete college experience. You learn as much discussing topics over coffee with class mates after class as you do in the lecture hall. Don't deny your self the total experience -- its your tuition money make the most of it.


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## petunia805 (Sep 7, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> Not to kill the mood or anything, but I wouldn't be complaining about college too much.
> 
> My parents worked themselves to death to provide for me and my sister, and because they drained their own funds so we all could live....they couldn't afford for me to go to college.
> 
> ...



Wow. Really?? I hate to join the band wagon here but...damn. Have you even looked into the possibility of going to college? I would venture to guess that you had not, because if your financial situation is as grim as you imply, then you probably qualify for the aforementioned "ass" load of student loans, not to mention some grants thrown in for good measure. PLUS, if you went to a community college first, where it is far less expensive for the first two years, and _*worked your ASS off *_and got really good grades, the 4 year institutions would probably sweeten the deal for you with some scholarships. There really is no excuse for not getting yourself an education...if you really want one.

My parents couldn't afford to pay my way either. They lived paycheck to paycheck. I'm 35+ years old, and still plugging away at my education, because I have had to work full time, raise my children, and care for an elderly grandparent since graduating from high school. The cards were stacked against me too, but it came down to a matter of priorities. 

I don't think Thatgirl08 was "bitching" in any way. She was having anxiety, and came to us for some support regarding a situation many of us fatties have probably faced at one point or another. This would be the place to find that sort of support - am I right?? She was not whining or boo-hooing her situation in the least...you on the other hand...


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## SparkGirl (Sep 7, 2009)

_*Is that the guy from Napoleon Dynamite?*_


ladle said:


> Your Mum Goes to College!


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## ladle (Sep 8, 2009)

SparkGirl said:


> _*Is that the guy from Napoleon Dynamite?*_



Nope...it's me about to go out on a date...
SWOOOON:smitten:


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## thatgirl08 (Sep 8, 2009)

So, today is the first day.. I leave in about 2 hours :x Wish me luck!


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## TraciJo67 (Sep 8, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> So, today is the first day.. I leave in about 2 hours :x Wish me luck!



Best of luck to you! College was one of the best times of my life, I envy you the fresh opportunity. Make the most of it.


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## fatgirlflyin (Sep 8, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> So, today is the first day.. I leave in about 2 hours :x Wish me luck!



Thinking lots of good thoughts for you, I hope your day goes great!


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## Rowan (Sep 8, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> So, today is the first day.. I leave in about 2 hours :x Wish me luck!



Good luck! I'm sure you'll be fine. I actually had a lot of anxiety about going to my math class this semester myself because i wasnt sure about the chairs. Sure enough, they do have the chairs with attached desks, but i had called ahead of time and let them know that i am larger and they had a desk with an office chair waiting there for me. So if you go to class today and the seating isnt adequate, call the office that does the ADA accomodations and they will get a desk and chair in there for you.


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## Surlysomething (Sep 8, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> So, today is the first day.. I leave in about 2 hours :x Wish me luck!




Good luck!


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## Fallenangel2904 (Sep 8, 2009)

I have my fingers and toes crossed for you today girly!  Let us know how everything goes!!


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## msbard90 (Sep 8, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> I'll keep this short but basically, I saw the desks at the college I'm going to starting Tuesday and they appear to be terribly small. I discussed the situation with a few people, including students who have gone to the school for a year already, and everyone thinks I'm going to be fine but I'm still pretty :/ about the situation. The sucky part is that short of making a request, I don't think I'll have a chance to try the desks out beforehand. The last thing I want to do is get there and try to squeeze in and I can't. I'm terribly nervous about this. This is the kind of shit that makes me wish I wasn't fat sometimes because it's like, something so simple as the desks become this huge issue. Some people have suggested requesting special desks but honestly, I'd rather drop out and take online classes and YES I'm actually considering this because of the damn desks. This is ridiculous, I know but I can't help it. I'm not really even sure what I'm expecting from this thread but a little reassuring, some suggestions or a story/concern of your own is more than welcome.



There's this one particular building at my college that has THE TEEEEENNNNNIIIEEESSSSTTT TINIEEESST DESKS EVER, but i didn't know it. So for an entire semester, I squeezed my fat ass into those desks, which is completely and totally embarassing, especially when the desk lifted up every time I tried to get out of it. :/ However, that was just an exception. I'd say 99 percent of the other desks at the entire school are just fine, maybe a little bit of a squeeze but nothing to really worry about. There's nothing you can do about it now, since your classes are already picked out, but if you know that a particular building has really small desks, next semester, try to pick classes that arent in that building if you can. Trust me, no one is even concerned if you are looking a little tight in the desk, and they sure as hell aren't going to go up to you and say, "damn you fattty go find a fatty desk".. Trust me, it's not high school or middle school. These kids barely know you and don't give a crap if you are tight in the desk chair or not. they're not even looking. trust. 

much love,
melissa xoxox


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## Mathias (Sep 8, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> So, today is the first day.. I leave in about 2 hours :x Wish me luck!



You'll be fine! Good luck!


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## Spanky (Sep 8, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> So, today is the first day.. I leave in about 2 hours :x Wish me luck!



All the luck in the world to you, thatgirl! College is a great time. Make sure you enjoy it. It ends all too soon. 

I think most of the suggestions here, when pointed at your question, were very good. 

You did give me an idea about fold-able/portable chairs that you find in so many stores now. How great it would be to have your simple chair and maybe a small writing table you could carry in a sack over your shoulder, room to room, set up quickly and fold back up to head to the next class across campus. 

I wonder if there are things like that, more specialized (heavier duty). 

Just thinking (typing) out loud. I understand you don't want to stand out. But either way, (1) you will figure out a solution and quickly, I know this, and (2) a week or so from now, you will be wiser with your answer and probably will have forgotten the problem in the first place. 

I sure hope so! 

Again, good luck!


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## deepreflection (Sep 8, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> So, today is the first day.. I leave in about 2 hours :x Wish me luck!



The first day is the most exhilarating! All the luck in the world, thatgirl08.


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## superodalisque (Sep 8, 2009)

msbard90 said:


> There's this one particular building at my college that has THE TEEEEENNNNNIIIEEESSSSTTT TINIEEESST DESKS EVER, but i didn't know it. So for an entire semester, I squeezed my fat ass into those desks, which is completely and totally embarassing, especially when the desk lifted up every time I tried to get out of it. :/ However, that was just an exception. I'd say 99 percent of the other desks at the entire school are just fine, maybe a little bit of a squeeze but nothing to really worry about. There's nothing you can do about it now, since your classes are already picked out, but if you know that a particular building has really small desks, next semester, try to pick classes that arent in that building if you can. Trust me, no one is even concerned if you are looking a little tight in the desk, and they sure as hell aren't going to go up to you and say, "damn you fattty go find a fatty desk".. Trust me, it's not high school or middle school. These kids barely know you and don't give a crap if you are tight in the desk chair or not. they're not even looking. trust.
> 
> much love,
> melissa xoxox



respectfully: i love you but i'd never suggest anyone chosing a class by seat size just call ahead, give the accessability office your class schedule and stop worrying. if its possible to fit don't use the different seat. oyu can just leave it empty. maybe sit in a regular armless chair. already this has taken up too much of her time worrying when a simple phone call could have setted it one way or another. one thing about worries--its good to dispell them with practical action as soon as you can and not torture yourself unneccesarily. when the ball gets rolling you always wonder why you gave yourself such a fit about it. don't sacrifice a minute you don't have of your life like that--says the oldster. 

your right!!! nobody cares if your shifting in your seat. they are too busy worrying about whether they read enough or understood enough not to seem totally out of it if someone asks them a question. plus they have thier own personal problems. one thing you are happy to learn after high school is that when people start to really grow up they don't have the time to access your every move at every minute of the day. and, the older you get the more thats true.


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## moore2me (Sep 8, 2009)

*Thatgirl08,

How did it go today? Inquiring minds want to know?*

(And now that you are in college you should spend three hours a day studying for each hour you are in a course. So, what are you doing online? Go do your homework and self study even if you don't have any actual homework. And one of the worst study habits is to wait and try to do everything right before a test - it makes for bad results and bad retention.)

No, I'm not being mean or cranky with you. Just giving you some advice from a serial loser who tried and had to restart her undergraduate degree twice and her graduate degree four times before I could finally complete them. You should have seen how I had to beg to be allowed in the program the 4th time. It was pitiful.


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## thatgirl08 (Sep 8, 2009)

Thank you so much to everyone who wished me luck & responded. I really appreciate it! The first day went pretty good.. I had to park a half mile from the building in overflow parking and it was not fun walking there in the 80 degree weather but I made it all the same. The desks were fine in both of my classes today. The first rooms desks have much more room between the chair & desk but the seat was so small it got uncomfortable after awhile but it was manageable.. the second rooms desks have less room between chair & desk but the seat itself has an actual little cushion on it and it's much bigger so it was actually way more comfortable. Both were definitely okay enough for me to work with. My guess is I'll encounter similar desks tomorrow so i should be good but I'll update :]

ETA: M2M, I haven't gotten my books yet so no hw or studying for me yet!! Tomorrow though.


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## Fallenangel2904 (Sep 9, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> Thank you so much to everyone who wished me luck & responded. I really appreciate it! The first day went pretty good.. I had to park a half mile from the building in overflow parking and it was not fun walking there in the 80 degree weather but I made it all the same. The desks were fine in both of my classes today. The first rooms desks have much more room between the chair & desk but the seat was so small it got uncomfortable after awhile but it was manageable.. the second rooms desks have less room between chair & desk but the seat itself has an actual little cushion on it and it's much bigger so it was actually way more comfortable. Both were definitely okay enough for me to work with. My guess is I'll encounter similar desks tomorrow so i should be good but I'll update :]
> 
> ETA: M2M, I haven't gotten my books yet so no hw or studying for me yet!! Tomorrow though.



YAY! I'm so happy it worked out!! You were on my mind today while I was in class so it's nice to know it all went smoothly!  Now the hard part comes....the actual class itself! lol  Glad you had a good first day!


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## nykspree8 (Sep 9, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> Thank you so much to everyone who wished me luck & responded. I really appreciate it! The first day went pretty good.. I had to park a half mile from the building in overflow parking and it was not fun walking there in the 80 degree weather but I made it all the same. The desks were fine in both of my classes today. The first rooms desks have much more room between the chair & desk but the seat was so small it got uncomfortable after awhile but it was manageable.. the second rooms desks have less room between chair & desk but the seat itself has an actual little cushion on it and it's much bigger so it was actually way more comfortable. Both were definitely okay enough for me to work with. My guess is I'll encounter similar desks tomorrow so i should be good but I'll update :]
> 
> ETA: M2M, I haven't gotten my books yet so no hw or studying for me yet!! Tomorrow though.



wohooo, glad to hear. The desks at my college are fucking tiny, I can barely fit in them, I'm not even joking lol. Would it kill them to make the desks a little bit bigger?? I get in one, and that's it. Forget trying to get comfortable or being able to move if you have to scratch your ass, you're stuck where you are for the rest of class.


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## msbard90 (Sep 9, 2009)

superodalisque said:


> respectfully: i love you but i'd never suggest anyone chosing a class by seat size just call ahead, give the accessability office your class schedule and stop worrying. if its possible to fit don't use the different seat. oyu can just leave it empty. maybe sit in a regular armless chair. already this has taken up too much of her time worrying when a simple phone call could have setted it one way or another. one thing about worries--its good to dispell them with practical action as soon as you can and not torture yourself unneccesarily. when the ball gets rolling you always wonder why you gave yourself such a fit about it. don't sacrifice a minute you don't have of your life like that--says the oldster.
> 
> your right!!! nobody cares if your shifting in your seat. they are too busy worrying about whether they read enough or understood enough not to seem totally out of it if someone asks them a question. plus they have thier own personal problems. one thing you are happy to learn after high school is that when people start to really grow up they don't have the time to access your every move at every minute of the day. and, the older you get the more thats true.



yeah thats definitely true, but I know that my college offers many different days/times/buildings with the same professor, so it's not like you are missing out on anything. But I'm not sure if thats how it is everywhere. I'm lucky enough to have a choice of building, well pretty much.


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## jewels_mystery (Sep 9, 2009)

yay. I am glad to hear it went well. I can relate about the size of the chairs. By the time I graduated, I mastered the art of half sitting in a char. lol


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## thatgirl08 (Sep 9, 2009)

jewels_mystery said:


> yay. I am glad to hear it went well. I can relate about the size of the chairs. By the time I graduated, I mastered the art of half sitting in a char. lol



Yeah like half of my butt definitely hangs off some of the seats haha.


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## Weeze (Sep 9, 2009)

nykspree8 said:


> wohooo, glad to hear. The desks at my college are fucking tiny, I can barely fit in them, I'm not even joking lol. Would it kill them to make the desks a little bit bigger?? I get in one, and that's it. Forget trying to get comfortable or being able to move if you have to scratch your ass, you're stuck where you are for the rest of class.



Do you..
scratch your ass in front of people?


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## Blackjack (Sep 9, 2009)

krismiss said:


> Do you..
> scratch your ass in front of people?



You don't?


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## Crystal (Sep 9, 2009)

Gah, being at UT...not only are the chairs/desks a problem, but just getting around in general. The campus is HUGE and walking over a mile to each of your classes isn't much fun.


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## nykspree8 (Sep 9, 2009)

krismiss said:


> Do you..
> scratch your ass in front of people?



Of course I do, and even ask those people for assistance depending on the severity of the itch!


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## thatgirl08 (Sep 9, 2009)

CrystalUT11 said:


> Gah, being at UT...not only are the chairs/desks a problem, but just getting around in general. The campus is HUGE and walking over a mile to each of your classes isn't much fun.



Yeah I feel you on this. MCC is huge as well and because there are so many students and I don't come until 10:30-12 (earliest class is at 8 so people start coming as early as 7) I have to park in the "overflow parking lot" located at one of MCC's sports facility buildings aka like a hundred years away. Here is a map:







Purple circle - the building
Red circle - where I park
Pink squares - normal parking lots that are filled by the time I get there (they fill up around 9 or so generally) 

YEAH. I walk like, at least half a mile maybe more to even get into the building and of course my first class on MWF is in building 6 and my first class on TR is in building 12 and I know it's small but if you can read those.. that's practically at the other side of the building. I mean it takes me at least 20-25 minutes to get to my first class so my guess is between a mile and a mile and a half.. aka, kill me. I'm literally sore from all the walking :x


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## nykspree8 (Sep 9, 2009)

Fuck that. I would get to school 30 minutes early and just drive around waiting for someone to leave their spot.


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## Crystal (Sep 9, 2009)

Ugh, that's horrible. UT's campus is several hundred square acres. Getting from my on-campus apartment to the other side of campus where most of the academic buildings are...I usually have to leave 30 minutes before class. First, I need to have time to take my time in walking to class...and second, I like having a good choice of seat since I barely fit in them.

It seems a bit unfair to have to deal with these sort of things when few others have to (at least it appears that way).


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## LoveBHMS (Sep 9, 2009)

So good to hear it seems to be working out ok.

I'm surprised to hear they don't have some sort of bus or shuttle service if there is that much distance from parking lot to where classes are. That sounds like kind of a pain but hopefully it will get easier as it gets cooler.

Good job grrrrl. Making school a priority is smart and we all know you're a smart one!


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## thatgirl08 (Sep 9, 2009)

nykspree8 said:


> Fuck that. I would get to school 30 minutes early and just drive around waiting for someone to leave their spot.



I tried that today but it was unsuccessful. People are very hesitant to give up the spots unless they know for sure they aren't coming back. By the time I'm done, there's lots of spaces open (I end 1:50 MWF and 3:20 TR) so my guess is most people get in & out earlier than me. I just didn't want to have to wake up early, hah. It starts to fill up again later though when the majority of people come for night classes so I haul ass out of there at 3:20 so I don't have to deal with as much traffic. 



CrystalUT11 said:


> Ugh, that's horrible. UT's campus is several hundred square acres. Getting from my on-campus apartment to the other side of campus where most of the academic buildings are...I usually have to leave 30 minutes before class. First, I need to have time to take my time in walking to class...and second, I like having a good choice of seat since I barely fit in them.
> 
> It seems a bit unfair to have to deal with these sort of things when few others have to (at least it appears that way).



I know, it really does suck. Sounds like we end up walking similar distances.



LoveBHMS said:


> So good to hear it seems to be working out ok.
> 
> I'm surprised to hear they don't have some sort of bus or shuttle service if there is that much distance from parking lot to where classes are. That sounds like kind of a pain but hopefully it will get easier as it gets cooler.
> 
> Good job grrrrl. Making school a priority is smart and we all know you're a smart one!



Yeah I seriously thought the same thing about the shuttles but I was like maybe this is just my laziness talking but it's a pain the ass. & yeah I'm sure it'll be better when it gets cooler.. until it starts to snow that is. ugh. I don't even want to THINK about having to walk that far in the snow!! But, I'll deal with that when it happens. & yeah I'm trying to do well because I realize how important it is. :]


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## superodalisque (Sep 9, 2009)

i hope your health is good enough for the walks. i hope you are wearing shoes with a lot of support and that provides cushioning for the impact on your knees. this is the 1st week and i'm sure it really tires you out. you can feel good about the fact that you'll be getting conditioning though. by next month you'll be feeling a lot better. all of the walking i did in college gave me good heart lung capacity and probably had a lot to do with the fact that i could walk around any huge mall etc... without thinking about it well into my 40s. and even though i had a back injury (not fat) related that i'm recovering from i can still manage to work on 2 campuses every day without it totally killing me. i know its a drag but long term it can be great for a fat girls health. its really good to be strong. just make sure you protect your joints.


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## thatgirl08 (Sep 9, 2009)

superodalisque said:


> i hope your health is good enough for the walks. i hope you are wearing shoes with a lot of support and that provides cushioning for the impact on your knees. this is the 1st week and i'm sure it really tires you out. you can feel good about the fact that you'll be getting conditioning though. by next month you'll be feeling a lot better. all of the walking i did in college gave me good heart lung capacity and probably had a lot to do with the fact that i could walk around any huge mall etc... without thinking about it well into my 40s. and even though i had a back injury (not fat) related that i'm recovering from i can still manage to work on 2 campuses every day without it totally killing me. i know its a drag but long term it can be great for a fat girls health. its really good to be strong. just make sure you protect your joints.



I was thinking the same thing about it being good for me.. I should start wearing sneakers though as I've been wearing Old Navy flip flops and that can't be good for my feet or knees!


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## Crystal (Sep 9, 2009)

Ugh! I am ALL about some Old Navy flipflops, but they're horrible for your feet. I even have small calluses on either side of my feet where the thong straps rub them from walking around campus.

My stupid self thinks, "I can't be walking around wearing tennis shoes all the time, I'll look stupid."

I need to grow up.


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## fffff (Sep 9, 2009)

When I first started college everyone I knew fat, thin or otherwise was daunted and complaining about the amount of walking they had to do. My first few weeks I felt like I had run a marathon by the time I got to class. But by the end of the semester it was easier, and after the first year I was walking all over the place was a breeze.


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## Tooz (Sep 9, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> Yeah I feel you on this. MCC is huge as well and because there are so many students and I don't come until 10:30-12 (earliest class is at 8 so people start coming as early as 7) I have to park in the "overflow parking lot" located at one of MCC's sports facility buildings aka like a hundred years away. Here is a map:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



At UB, I ended up having to just show up 1-2 hours before class started daily.


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## LoveBHMS (Sep 9, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> I was thinking the same thing about it being good for me.. I should start wearing sneakers though as I've been wearing Old Navy flip flops and that can't be good for my feet or knees!



Eeep. No way should you walk more than a couple of steps in flip flops. They won't give you any arch support and you'll wind up with sore feet and legs. Get some good sneakers or even just regular loafers with a good lug sole. PLEASE!!!


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## rainyday (Sep 10, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> I mean it takes me at least 20-25 minutes to get to my first class so my guess is between a mile and a mile and a half.. aka, kill me. I'm literally sore from all the walking :x



If you car's big enough to accommodate a bike, that might make getting in from the parking lot easier. My bike saved me a lot of walking pain in college. Even on the hills where I walked it, I was at least able to hook my heavy backpack full of books onto the handle bars and let my bike carry that weight. Then when I got up the hill I could coast down.


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## moore2me (Sep 10, 2009)

Here's a couple of suggestions that might help with long distance parking:

1. How about bringing a *bicycle on a carrying rack *on the back of your car and when you park, ride the bike to your class? Lock it up, then ride it back to the car? You can get extra size seats now and larger tires for us heavier riders. Also, some bikes come in models that are easily broken down in half and can be loaded inside your car or trunk, reassembled and then used for secondary transportation, or

2. Most colleges have a *public bus route* that comes right thru the heart of campus. Ask your college's traffic safety or parking permit office where you can get a copy of the public bus routes. Try and park your car close to a bus route and get a transfer or student pass that will give you a discount for a short ride near your classroom. Reverse the procedure when class is over, or

3. As OPs have suggested, check and see if the college offers a *parking shuttle.* Many universities that expect older students to enroll, now offer shuttle buses or person carriers (like Disneyland has). 

One of our local universities has a motorized electric carrier that can pick someone up in the parking lot, travel inside a buidling and take a person directly to the floor where they need to go. Of course, this is usually limited to picking up people who look like they are about ready to croak. I know because they stopped and got me one time during a blistering day in August.


And I have to side with the others on the flip flops. You need shoes that will support your feet and weight. Also, as Tony in the self defense section will tell you, if you are assaulted or jumped by a bad man, you need to stomp on his instep with your foot. Doing this with a flip flop will not have the effect as much as would doing it with a good sturdy shoe. And yes, girls can be victims of crime of college campuses. Many of us cannot run but we sure as hell cannot move fast with flip flops on. *Leave the flip flops to the pool or your apartment.*


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## Famouslastwords (Sep 10, 2009)

At my other college (not the new private college I just signed up that's small squeeeeeeeeee) I got dropped off at the handicap drop off area RIGHT BY MY BUILDING and I had to wear tennis shoes. I mean there was still a small walk and three flights of stairs which I finally decided to admit I'm fat and take the elevator.


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## blueeyedevie (Sep 10, 2009)

O my Goodness. I went from reading this tread to just skimming it. Way to much drama... My thoughts. When I first begin to think about getting an education I was barely able to walk to my front room much less across campus. So of course my options were a bit limited. I choose to begin my education on line. Well as some know I have been loosing weight, and now can move quite a bit better than I did, although I am not running or for that matter walking miles yet. I finished my associates and it come time for me to think about my bachelors. Well I knew I was moving to Long Island and I knew Harris loved the idea of sharing a campus with me. Well I begin to have anxiety. What if I can't make the walks, what if I have no sitting that is assessable, what ifs were endless. So I begin my bachelors on line. Anxiety has ruled my life for so long, it has crippled me into loosing my 20's. When I moved up here, there was Harris wanting to take me out to dinner, movies, me wanting to go to Church, again Anxiety was standing in my way. Till one day I decided I was going to take some chances. Harris decided he was going to give me that extra push I needed. Life has been great since I begin to know I am worth being happy. I regret not waiting to start my bachelors when I got here to Long Island so I could have went on campus. I made my choices. Hopefully when it comes to getting my masters I will make a better decision and do it knowing if I am 500 or 200 I am worth what ever it takes for me to get my education.


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## thatgirl08 (Sep 10, 2009)

CrystalUT11 said:


> I even have small calluses on either side of my feet where the thong straps rub them from walking around campus.



Yesss me too! I've had this all summer though because I've lived in this one pair of black flip flops allll summer. But yeah now that I'm doing more walking, it's time to break out the sneakers. 

Thanks again to everyone replying to the thread.. I appreciate the stories/suggestions/etc! :]


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## Paquito (Sep 10, 2009)

CrystalUT11 said:


> Ugh! I am ALL about some Old Navy flipflops, but they're horrible for your feet. I even have small calluses on either side of my feet where the thong straps rub them from walking around campus.
> 
> My stupid self thinks, "I can't be walking around wearing tennis shoes all the time, I'll look stupid."
> 
> I need to grow up.



I ended up causing the tops of a few of my toes to start bleeding because I was walking around in my flip flops so much. And I had a blister on the bottom of my foot.

You'd think I'd have learned my lesson, but I love my flip flops too much to stop wearing them.


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## thatgirl08 (Sep 10, 2009)

free2beme04 said:


> I ended up causing the tops of a few of my toes to start bleeding because I was walking around in my flip flops so much. And I had a blister on the bottom of my foot.
> 
> You'd think I'd have learned my lesson, but I love my flip flops too much to stop wearing them.



Wait, how did walking around in flip flops make your toes bleed!?


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## katorade (Sep 10, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> Wait, how did walking around in flip flops make your toes bleed!?



I'm going to harbor a guess that either the strap going over the big toe and second toe would aggravate the skin and rub it raw, or somebody has my flip-flop curse and always gets the front of their flip-flop wedged on something, it flips under, and I am sent lurching forward, the top of my foot scraping on the *always* abrasive surface.


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## thatgirl08 (Sep 10, 2009)

katorade said:


> I'm going to harbor a guess that either the strap going over the big toe and second toe would aggravate the skin and rub it raw, or somebody has my flip-flop curse and always gets the front of their flip-flop wedged on something, it flips under, and I am sent lurching forward, the top of my foot scraping on the *always* abrasive surface.



Neither of those sound like very much fun :/


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## Paquito (Sep 10, 2009)

katorade said:


> I'm going to harbor a guess that either the strap going over the big toe and second toe would aggravate the skin and rub it raw, or somebody has my flip-flop curse and always gets the front of their flip-flop wedged on something, it flips under, and I am sent lurching forward, the top of my foot scraping on the *always* abrasive surface.



Yea, the flip flops have a band that go over the top of my toes. But I am prone to flip flop failure as well.


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