# Understanding Feederism



## Rowan (Jun 13, 2007)

Forgive me for posting...but i have to know...

I can understand loving food and such...but why would you want to be so heavy that you cannot take care of yourself and you have to rely on someone else?? What guarantees that person staying there???

just would like some input from those who want to be so big they cant take care of themselves adequately, in order to try to understand...

thanks...


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jun 13, 2007)

From what I understand, very few actual feeders want this. Mostly it's a kink. Watch the S/O eat a whole pie once a week and that's that.


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## Waxwing (Jun 13, 2007)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> From what I understand, very few actual feeders want this. Mostly it's a kink. Watch the S/O eat a whole pie once a week and that's that.



That's what I understand of it as well. I think that immobility is for the most part a fantasy-only thing.


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## Kimberleigh (Jun 13, 2007)

Just curious about why this is on the foodee board. 
Imho, foodies are a *long, long, long* way from the feeder thing. 
Wouldn't this topic be better served on the weight board?


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## SoVerySoft (Jun 13, 2007)

Kimberleigh said:


> Just curious about why this is on the foodee board.
> Imho, foodies are a *long, long, long* way from the feeder thing.
> Wouldn't this topic be better served on the weight board?



Yeppers. Moving it now


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## Ample Pie (Jun 13, 2007)

I do not want to be immobile. I do not want anyone around me who wants me immobile. It may be nice to pretend and play about such things but the truth is I'm a pretty independent girl and there's no way I'd want to lose that just for some jollies.


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## ashmamma84 (Jun 13, 2007)

Rowan said:


> Forgive me for posting...but i have to know...
> 
> I can understand loving food and such...but why would you want to be so heavy that you cannot take care of yourself and you have to rely on someone else?? What guarantees that person staying there???
> 
> ...



I've wondered the same thing too, but never really wanted to ask for fear of being flamed.

However, I will say that I'm a foodie --that isn't the same thing as being a feedee or feeder. I just really care/enjoy/love food; but I don't intentionally want to gain or make myself immobile.


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## AnnMarie (Jun 13, 2007)

I think you should read THIS thread, it has input and discussion from many here and should answer most of your questions. 

I've actually made that thread a sticky now, I think it will be helpful for other newbies and also for more people to add to it over time. 

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=21321


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## bigplaidpants (Jun 13, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> That's what I understand of it as well. I think that immobility is for the most part a fantasy-only thing.



*nods*

And, for all its worth, I think many FA's fantasize also (like myself) about either themselves or a partner so big as to render them immobile, but don't necessarily fantasize about them _as _immobile. In other words, the immobility isn't the point of the fantasy....but a consequence of it.

Make sense?

I mean, if you're into immobility for the sake of immobility....fantasize about a tree.


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## bigplaidpants (Jun 13, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> I think you should read THIS thread, it has input and discussion from many here and should answer most of your questions.
> 
> I've actually made that thread a sticky now, I think it will be helpful for other newbies and also for more people to add to it over time.
> 
> http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=21321



Kewl. I was hoping someone would be cite a reference. Thanks, AM.

Ever thought about indexing the threads? We need a Dim reference librarian.


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## Wagimawr (Jun 13, 2007)

bigplaidpants said:


> Ever thought about indexing the threads? We need a Dim reference librarian.


We've got one, and sticking a thread index on top of the Story index he already has to muck with would probably cause some sort of mental meltdown on Observer's part (thanks, Observer!).

Sticky's do well for now, I think.


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## bigplaidpants (Jun 13, 2007)

Wagimawr said:


> We've got one, and sticking a thread index on top of the Story index he already has to muck with would probably cause some sort of mental meltdown on Observer's part (thanks, Observer!).
> 
> Sticky's do well for now, I think.



Your right. The Story room is well organized. Forgot. :bow:


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## Wagimawr (Jun 13, 2007)

No biggie. Besides, he who thinks of the job does it, am I right?


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## Suze (Jun 13, 2007)

i will never understand it completely, but i can accept it..to a sertant degree.


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## waistrel (Jun 14, 2007)

Rowan said:


> I can understand loving food and such...but why would you want to be so heavy that you cannot take care of yourself and you have to rely on someone else??



Well, you're conflating two issues here. A fetish for weight gain is separate from a fetish for immobility or dependence. People can have either, both, or neither.

I personally have only the former. I do find that the idea of women gaining weight to be just as appealing as the idea of them simply being fat. But even in my wildest fantasies of women who are implausibly huge, their lives, mobility, and health are completely unrestricted by their size. I personally want people with whom I'm involved to be independent, and in no way under my control.


If I were to speculate about the workings behind a fetish for immobility or or disability, I would guess that it's similar to any other BDSM/power exchange fetish. Many people are interested in giving or taking control. You're right that this is a huge risk, but that's the whole point: the level of trust that that would require is, presumably, what is so powerful to people on either side of that exchange. It's the same level of trust required to allow someone to tie you up, but less ephemeral.

While it's not something that I would want to participate in myself, I'm certainly not willing to condemn those who would. As long as they're freely and happily making their own decisions--even decisions to surrender control--more power to them.


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## boots (Jun 14, 2007)

In all honesty, it seems rather unlikely that anyone into immobility is going to reply to that question. The feeders because they'll instantly be flamed or picked apart, and the feedees because they'll instantly be set upon by a barrage of feeders searching desperately for that rare sort of feedee that would share their forbidden desire, even if only in fantasy .


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## Rowan (Jun 14, 2007)

First off...i wasnt sure which board to put the question on....so thank you to the lovely moderators for putting it where it should be.

secondly...Im just trying to understand the feederism thing. I referenced the immobility, because a huge majority of the posts that i see that are talking about feeders/feedee's many times talk about getting so big they need someone to help them. 

I myself love food as well...obviously...but i was just trying to grasp some kind of understanding as to that particular lifestyle.


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## Waxwing (Jun 14, 2007)

bigplaidpants said:


> I mean, if you're into immobility for the sake of immobility....fantasize about a tree.


 
Great. Now I'm all hot and bothered. 

I think that we all fantasize about things that wouldn't necessarily be practical/safe/legal to engage in in real life. That's why fantasies are fun. You can take everything to the extreme and fully explore what turns you on without anyone being harmed. 

Up with fantasies!!


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## Ample Pie (Jun 14, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> Up with fantasies!!



and down with pants


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## exile in thighville (Jun 14, 2007)

snipping this from a dead thread cuz i think i'll get much use out of it:

"at the end of the day i doubt any feeder wants a 1000 lb immobile chick even if it was hypothetically possible...it's nice to go outside and on dates and do stuff. plus our dicks aren't big enough to make it through all that jelly. but really, the whole appeal is the fantasy, my girl being bigger than your girl. if women could get up to 1000 lbs in real life, we'd want them at 2000. the hot part is the idea of extremes...like a female getting so big she gets stuck in a cave. of course we don't think through how we plan on calling an excavation crew...we've already came by then and now we want to cuddle and maybe watch a movie on tnt. the difficulty doesn't arouse us, it's the _idea _that she's so dedicated to a hot fantasy that she'd get to a point where it's interrupting her real life."


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## TONYS (Jun 14, 2007)

I have found that there are some feedees who do want total immobility. They have a deep desire for it, need it and want it. I feel that some of those who indeed desire it, seem to want it to fulfill a infantile type fantasy. I think the psychological bent seems to indicate a desire to with draw, be cared for, and have no worries or concerns. Another twist to it is like a total submission to a person who will care for them, total trust and intimacy. Of course the end result may not be satisfactory to either person. There are some relationships however that do indeed thrive in that situation.

There is another type of feedee that does indeed want to remain mobile and as independent as possible, yet achieve the largest possible body size, however such size may cause some degree of immobility. I know from my personal experience I do love the upper size ranges, but do not like immobility, I do not like my partner to be dependent upon me totally, want her to be happy at whatever size she needs to be. For both of us immobile fantasies are not even a part of our life.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 14, 2007)

Rowan said:


> First off...i wasnt sure which board to put the question on....so thank you to the lovely moderators for putting it where it should be.
> 
> secondly...Im just trying to understand the feederism thing. I referenced the immobility, because a huge majority of the posts that i see that are talking about feeders/feedee's many times talk about getting so big they need someone to help them.
> 
> I myself love food as well...obviously...but i was just trying to grasp some kind of understanding as to that particular lifestyle.



You should read the thread that AnnMarie pointed to Rowan. It's got everything you always wanted to know but were afraid to ask. The concept was fully exhausted in there and I doubt too many feeders/feedees want to go through it again here. If we do it for you, we'll have to do it over and over again for everybody who comes in here and asks that question which seems to happen on a fairly regular basis.

And YAY AnnMarie for making it a sticky.


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## TCUBOB (Jun 14, 2007)

Hey Waxy -- I saw this totally hot fat tree that was totally immobile on my way to work today.



Waxwing said:


> Great. Now I'm all hot and bothered.
> 
> I think that we all fantasize about things that wouldn't necessarily be practical/safe/legal to engage in in real life. That's why fantasies are fun. You can take everything to the extreme and fully explore what turns you on without anyone being harmed.
> 
> Up with fantasies!!


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## Rowan (Jun 14, 2007)

LillyBBBW said:


> You should read the thread that AnnMarie pointed to Rowan. It's got everything you always wanted to know but were afraid to ask. The concept was fully exhausted in there and I doubt too many feeders/feedees want to go through it again here. If we do it for you, we'll have to do it over and over again for everybody who comes in here and asks that question which seems to happen on a fairly regular basis.
> 
> And YAY AnnMarie for making it a sticky.



Oh im going to...i just wanted to make sure people knew i wasnt trying to be mean to anyone...just trying to understand is all.


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## Ned Sonntag (Jun 14, 2007)

Hmmm I could write a book on the subject... or not...


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## bigplaidpants (Jun 14, 2007)

Rebecca said:


> and down with pants



That's Big. Plaid. Pants......thank you.


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## bigplaidpants (Jun 14, 2007)

Rowan said:


> Oh im going to...i just wanted to make sure people knew i wasnt trying to be mean to anyone...just trying to understand is all.



Rowan. First, your right. Redheads do kick a$$.

Second, for all its worth, I didn't think you were being mean to anyone. Not at all. Feederism and immobility are just well traversed subjects here on Dim, well before I was a poster....and have been carried out with varying degrees of "success" as a topic of conversation. As topics, they usually polarize pretty quick, with some good rejoinders and insights in between.

Any snippy comments (like mine about the tree could have been taken that way), I would take as just an attempt to light hearted. I know mine was. 

You're asking a great question.....


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## bigplaidpants (Jun 14, 2007)

TCUBOB said:


> Hey Waxy -- I saw this totally hot fat tree that was totally immobile on my way to work today.



The thing that's kewl about this fantasy is that when a tree really does get moved, they need a big truck. Big wheels. Everything. Just imagine how *BIG *it is.


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## marlowegarp (Jun 14, 2007)

Ned Sonntag said:


> Hmmm I could write a book on the subject... or not...



I wish someone would. Tired of seeing it in the WTF section of other size-positive literature.


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## big_gurl_lvr (Jun 14, 2007)

Just my three words... I think that feederism can be cool when it has normal relationship background. Trust, respect, care etc. I'm not saying love... just normal values that you should have dealing with other ppl. No matter if they are your family, friends, lovers or whatever.... I just can't imagine pushing and manipulating somebody to get immobile.... or say it more precise bigger than that person would like to be. If she is doing it only for her feeder it is not cool cause I think we are getting into mind control/taking advantage on somebody to get selfish satisfaction issue. I think with feederism is same thing like with alcohol... everything can be fun if you know when to stop... or lets say better use it carefully.


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## Nico (Jun 14, 2007)

I can't speak for anyone but myself, obviously. And as for me, it's a bit complicated. Lemme see if I can make this understandable:
I am attracted to fat women. I am turned on by a woman gaining weight. Now, there are two main types of fantasies related to this: 1) a skinny woman who gains weight, which doesn't necessarily (but could) result in her assuming massive proportions. A lot of the time though, just enough to make her moderately fat is sufficient. And 2) an already fat woman who becomes so obese she has trouble moving around. Yeah, I have to say a woman who's a bit impeded by her weight can be...... stirring. (I'm particularily fond of the way some ladies waddle) Another enticing aspect is the lazyness. There is something really sexy about a fat woman sitting on the couch (in exercise clothes which are way too tight for some reason) who eats constantly while making minor demands of me ("Honey? Bring me the chocolate! And the whipped cream! And the peach cobbler! And the..." etc.) 
However, although I like to fantasize about feeding a woman into immobility I am satisfied to have that remain just a fantasy. In reality, when it comes to that special someone, I want a woman who is happy with herself. And it's pretty hard to be happy when you can't even get up once in a while. And as much as I want her to be as into her fatness as I am..... I would never wish her to become so huge that she would have to depend entirely on me for everything. Besides, what's the point of having a girlfriend if you can't slow dance with her under the stars? And I really can't be happy with someone who wants to do something just to get my rocks off. 

<Whew> I could go on forever, but I'll spare you all..... just this once.


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## lemmink (Jun 15, 2007)

People wanna be amputees. Others want to be eaten. There's no real rational reason behind any fetishism and you just have to say each to their own.


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## exile in thighville (Jun 15, 2007)

lemmink said:


> People wanna be amputees. Others want to be eaten. There's no real rational reason behind any fetishism and you just have to say each to their own.



and a fair majority of even those people who "want" it don't actually "want" it. keep in mind the cannibal fetishist on the internet could also be a lawyer, father, accountant, whatever. the biggest misconception about people with extreme fetishes is that it rules their lives or by having a crazy fetish people automatically have bogus priorities. and i assume most people settle for internet fulfillment like porn or pics or whatever since it's fairly hard to find a partner willing to do cannibal or amputee play anyway. it's also painful.


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## KnownIssues (Jun 16, 2007)

Is it just me or does the term _feederism_ automatically make it sound like a disease one must get cured of to be _normal_?


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## Totmacher (Jun 16, 2007)

It's just you... or maybe I've got a little more self esteem than I thought. As I see it you're confusing diseases, like recidivism, argyrism, giganticsm, etc. with beliefs like deism, masochism, heckerism, and so forth. Feederism isn't a pathology, it's a way of thinking and enjoying life. How you manifest this particular facet of your being is up to you.


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## AtlasD (Jun 17, 2007)

Previously posted in another thread some time ago, but perhaps still relevant-

Any subject as sensitive as this needs discussion, and this forum is one of the few places where this can happen.

There is always a hazard with single theme relationships. Lets assume a couple shares a passion for kayaking. They kayak whenever and wherever they can, kayaking dominates their discussions, all their friends kayak. For some reason- injury, health issues, or loss of interest- one partner no longer can kayak or desires to kayak. The relationship dissolves because the one common thread holding it together has been broken. If a long-term relationship is to survive there must be multiple and diverse shared interests.

Feederism cannot go on forever in a relationship. Just as there is no such thing as infinite weight loss, there also cannot be infinite weight gain. At some point a limit is reached, and where does the relationship go from there? Hopefully there are other shared interests and the relationship continues to develop. But if weight gain is the dominant theme, with few or no other facets to the relationship, then the relationship is doomed, and very likely with someone being emotionally hurt.

What consenting adults do is between them and nobody elses business. If two people want to engage in gaining activity thats their business and their right. The key, of course, is mutual consent and understanding especially if feeding is a key component to the relationship. If the feedee decides that he or she no longer wants to gain, then there is no consent for continued weight gain, and the dynamic of the relationship has changed. There has to be a discussion and consensus between the couple on what will happen when this point is reached, and the discussion has to take place before its reached. 

Any relationship needs to have some thought about the future. Five years seems like a huge length of time to many people, but it goes by so fast. If a couple is serious about the relationship, they need to discuss where they will be a year from now, five years from now.

Finally- ( I can hear you screaming wont this guy shut up?)- Feederism cannot be generalized into good or evil categories; the spectrum and intensity ranges too widely (no pun intended). Most people are put off by extremes and feederism is no exception. (At what point does more fat merely become more fat?) Yet this thread has demonstrated it is possible to have a meaningful discussion on the topic. Most of us participate in these boards because the prevailing culture is intensely hostile to the concept of fat people being esthetically attractive. For the most part, we are here to share our feeling that fat is not ugly, and is, for us, pleasurable- a premise that meets with scorn and derision in our current culture. Feederism, mild or extreme, for good or for ill is a part of the fat esthetic culture; its counterpart in mainstream society is deliberate weight loss to achieve the ideal figure- and its extreme manifestation (anorexia) is as abhorrent as feeding to immobility and/or illness. Discussion and dialogue is valuable because it may help avoid the extremes.


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## Rowan (Jun 17, 2007)

lemmink said:


> People wanna be amputees. Others want to be eaten. There's no real rational reason behind any fetishism and you just have to say each to their own.



I would like to be eaten too....

oh wait...you mean cannibalism. 

ok...stupid joke lol


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Jun 17, 2007)

Rowan said:


> First off...i wasnt sure which board to put the question on....so thank you to the lovely moderators for putting it where it should be.
> 
> secondly...Im just trying to understand the feederism thing. I referenced the immobility, because a huge majority of the posts that i see that are talking about feeders/feedee's many times talk about getting so big they need someone to help them.
> 
> I myself love food as well...obviously...but i was just trying to grasp some kind of understanding as to that particular lifestyle.



Maybe you mostly read the posts that complain about the dangers and unwiseness of being "feeders and feedees" with only a hazy perception of what that actually entails?


The way I understand it, all it consists of is a desire to see overeating and weight gain in a partner or in oneself. This can be a little, or a lot, but I don't think it's about achieving any particular idea weight or even gaining a certain amount. It's the journey, not the goal. The most arousing part of it is the concept of weight gain.


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## lemmink (Jun 18, 2007)

Rowan said:


> secondly...Im just trying to understand the feederism thing. I referenced the immobility, because a huge majority of the posts that i see that are talking about feeders/feedee's many times talk about getting so big they need someone to help them.
> 
> I myself love food as well...obviously...but i was just trying to grasp some kind of understanding as to that particular lifestyle.



Well... if you want to understand feederism... you've got to see that it's not all about immobility. I think you're wrong about thinking that a majority of the posts on this section of the forum are about people being into immobility... I think you'll find that most people aren't really down with it, although they do lufff weight gain. If you check out this recent thread about people's weight gain fantasies, you won't find any that refer to immobility (I think).

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14552

Technically feederism doesn't have to involve weight gain--even the wikipedia article on it acknowledges this--it can just involve eating piles of food. (And from there you get other elements of feederism, such as stuffing and gaining...) As I'm sure I've mentioned around here before, I've met a pile of feeders IRL who have absolutely no interest in weight gain, and fuckallnoone really interested in feederism AND weight-gain. I'd identify as a feeder first and an FFA a distant second--sure, I love fat blokes, but I'd far prefer to be with a bloke of *any* size who'd be down with being stuffed with food now and then. 

Feederism =/= weight gain, weight gain =/= immobility. I'd guess that those people who honestly are into immobility are a small minority of people into feederism.


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## lemmink (Jun 18, 2007)

Man, how many times can I use "I think" in a paragraph? F'serious, I suck. LOL


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## exile in thighville (Jun 18, 2007)

lemmink said:


> Well... if you want to understand feederism... you've got to see that it's not all about immobility. I think you're wrong about thinking that a majority of the posts on this section of the forum are about people being into immobility... I think you'll find that most people aren't really down with it, although they do lufff weight gain. If you check out this recent thread about people's weight gain fantasies, you won't find any that refer to immobility (I think).
> 
> http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14552
> 
> ...



nah, fuck wikipedia. the major factor of WG in feederism is not to be denied. yeah I could do one of those "you could be a feeder just by erotically spooning ice cream into your lover's mouth" posts, but the fact is, I, and other feeders, are way more pervy than that. i get turned on by calling a girl piggy, tying her up, teasing her, performing erotic acts while she's facedown in some cake. and it's hot as hell. don't think so? good thing you weren't born with my dna that for some reason made me like this shit. the good thing is that my girlfriend digs, too. and that's really all that matters. at the end of the day, your sexuality is between you and your partner(s) and it's not about giving a shit who judges you or supports you on the internet. in a way, i kind of hope this post shocks rowan, but i honestly do want her to come to an understanding. but it shouldn't be about understanding feederism, which is like saying "why do people with a foot fetish like being jerked off with a woman's toes?" they just do. we just do. what there is to understand is the diversity of sexuality in the world and the beauty of its many oddnesses.


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## Tooz (Jun 18, 2007)

dan ex machina said:


> i get turned on by calling a girl piggy, tying her up, teasing her, performing erotic acts while she's facedown in some cake. and it's hot as hell. don't think so? good thing you weren't born with my dna that for some reason made me like this shit. the good thing is that my girlfriend digs, too. and that's really all that matters. at the end of the day, *your sexuality is between you and your partner(s)* and it's not about giving a shit who judges you or supports you on the internet.



I tried to rep you, but this is exactly how I feel. People like what they like. Do I understand love of farts, or poo, or whatever? No. But, that's just great news for me because, hey, I don't have to date someone who likes it. They can find people with similar interests.


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