# I'm puzzled...



## MissStacie (Sep 19, 2010)

In recent days, there are a couple of threads that have either been started or have re-emerged here on Dims, both having to do with a couple of celebrities losing weight/more weight. I'm quite puzzled...

While I realize that this is a size acceptance site and we talk about accepting people at any size...etc, I cannot help but wonder why people post here and lament about these celebs losing weight. If we liked them before they lost weight, shouldn't we still like them AFTER? 

I moved to Germany a year ago this month. I've lost almost 70lbs since I moved. OH, THE HORRORS! Are any of you going to like me any less because of it? I'd hate to think that any of you liked me simply because I was bigger...

I guess I find it funny that while we hate it when people judge us by our larger frames,negatively, we turn right around and judge THEM by now having a smaller frame.

Thoughts?


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## spiritangel (Sep 19, 2010)

i would hope that the people I have become friends with will like me bigger or smaller, or the same as I am 

would hate to think that size is the only reason for the friendships ect


I just watched Gok Wan's too fat too young and was sooo impressed by Dawn French I cant remember he exact wording

but she said if you hate yourself when your fat then dont stay that way
if you hate yourself skinny dont stay that way

it is important to like yourself that is the most important thing 

as I said I am paraphrasing but I was really impressed with what she said and how it was said I think that is such an important thing that we can like and accept ourselves for who we are and if we dont like it then we change it. I know it isnt that simple all round but yeah just my thoughts


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## LovelyLiz (Sep 19, 2010)

I agree that if you like someone's work, or just like someone in general, having them change their weight shouldn't affect your appreciation of their work or talent or whatever. 

But I think that some of what's going on when people lament over a celebrity's weight loss is much less about that particular individual and his/her choices, and more that it's an instance of a larger social assumption that it's better to be thinner than fatter; and it's that assumption that can be troubling for people. I mean sure, there are some posters that are like, "What, why can't X celebrity be attractive to me anymore!? She's too thin now! I can't jerk off to her! Boo-hoo!" 

But I think for a lot of other people, it's not just about that. It's about looking at the messages that are sent in our society about fatness, and being glad when there are some people in the public eye who are bucking the system that says you have to be thin to be popular/talented/beautiful/etc. And when that person then chooses to be thin, there's a way it can feel like the larger social project of trying to help the culture at large realize that fat people can be awesome too is set back. And for fat people, it can feel like a bummer. Not because celebrity X isn't allowed to do whatever the hell he/she wants with his/her body, I think it's less about that particular instance, and more about the larger goals. I don't think many of us want to say, "Make fat celebrities stay fat! Even if they don't want to!" But we can still be aware of messages society believes and how they are perpetuated, etc.


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## Surlysomething (Sep 19, 2010)

Jennifer Hudson's Weight Watchers commercials come on my tv screen constantly. The way she talks about her weight loss annoys the crap out of me because of the past things she's said positively about being a bigger girl.

I happened across an article about her weight loss online and that's where I found the quote about her size. I thought it was interesting. I typed her name into the search engine here and the topic was already broached so I put the quote there.

I hope that clears of some of the puzzling aspect of things. I didn't realize the thread was that old when I added the quote. If she's happy, awesome. But having it all over the place because she's making money promoting Weight Watchers and how in the past she admitted not having a problem with her weight is pretty ridiculous. 

It was in my brain at the time. I wouldn't be too worried about it. I'm sure tomorrow I will be wondering why there are so many goddamn tire commercials on my screen.


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## Jon Blaze (Sep 19, 2010)

I think Surly hit the nail on the head.

At least for me, that's the reason I would have a problem. I have no issues with people that want to change their size in either direction, but the moment they take some sort of moral high ground stance, depending on how severe it is I might have a problem with them in that regard. But that has nothing to do with the weight. Even if they didn't lose or gain any weight I could still have the same feelings if their attitude shifts too much or was never positive to begin with.

With celebs I have no issues with the widespread ads or anything, but to go from saying "I'm content with how I am" to being xyz sucks can be aggravating. I would just hope at the very least they can be neutral about the whole thing i.e. "It didn't work for me, but I can't speak for everyone." I know that if for some reason I had to leave the community for example, there's no way in hell I'm going the fat people suckkkk route.

But some celebs that happen to be big don't even say comments to begin with like that. Like Queen Latifah. As far as I know she never said any comments like that, so when she lost weight I had no issues with it at all. More importantly afterward she didn't go the high ground route, so I have no issues. 

So for me it's not that you do it: It's how you express it. Do what you want, but don't be baffled if there's repercussions from the people that supported you before if you turn into an evangelist. Of course there's a fine line between being that and just expressing happiness at your personal success.


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## AnnMarie (Sep 19, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> But I think that some of what's going on when people lament over a celebrity's weight loss is much less about that particular individual and his/her choices, and more that it's an instance of a larger social assumption that it's better to be thinner than fatter; and it's that assumption that can be troubling for people.




This. Mostly it's this. The stupid bullshit of X looked better X way is the same at any internet site on the planet, but I think a lot of it here is the loss of someone "like us". 

It's nice to have someone in Hollywood who at least resembles you in some way - the "everyman" feeling of a larger celebrity, and when they lose it just can feel like another message to the WORLD that thin is better than fat, and that's all they ever really wanted to be. Which very well may be true - just like _most_ fat people, they'd rather be thin. As stated - they were seemingly a champion until they could "undo" the fatness... then it was like "wow, thank GOD that's over... that sucked and I hated every minute of it."

Finding a fat celeb who's going to stay fat and unapologetic is unlikely... even if they came directly from the mean streets of Dims, since we know pretty much the same percentage here would pick thin all things being equal.


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## thirtiesgirl (Sep 19, 2010)

Sarah Rue is the semi-celeb that gets to me. She was one of the few more disproportionately shaped fat women in popular media, prior to signing a deal with Jenny Craig. While I'm not going to pronounce judgment on her choice to lose weight and become a paid spokesperson for Jenny, I will admit to disappointment that she fell prey to the media machine's constant, ever-changing and ridiculously harsh judgment of women's bodies and chose to lose weight rather than accept herself as she was. My hope is that she finds happiness in who she is, and if that means she prefers to be thinner, then that's the way it is. I know certain elements of my life would change and perhaps improve if I was thinner, too. But I know where my weight plateaus, and I know myself well enough to have made peace with what I'm willing and not willing to do to achieve a more socially acceptable body shape. And whatever choice I make, the decision is mine and not up for judgment by others.


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## Seth Warren (Sep 19, 2010)

thirtiesgirl said:


> Sarah Rue is the semi-celeb that gets to me.



She was so hot in _Gypsy 83_. My reptile brain weeps for what has become of her.


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## Ample Pie (Sep 19, 2010)

When and if I participate in these discussions (and mind you, I would as it pertains to Sarah Rue), it isn't so much a lament about the person's change in weight as it is a lament that this world, Hollywood, etc is set up to put soooo much pressure on celebrities to be a certain way and I do sometimes feel like they're sort of beaten into making the changes they make. That aspect is sad.

However, if I like a celebrity's work, I like their work. Their change in size doesn't change that and I try to take into consideration that maybe they just wanted the change in weight and, so, more power to them! If they're happy, there can be no complaints from me. My lamentation is only that it seems so many of them are forced into the change if they want to maintain their careers.

And their work should stand on its own--it should be enough to maintain their careers.


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## joswitch (Sep 19, 2010)

Seth Warren said:


> She was so hot in _Gypsy 83_. My reptile brain weeps for what has become of her.



I just googled this.
Wow. She was hott, huh?

Her change from POW! to identikit ordinary reminds me of Sophie Dahl's weightloss back in the day...

Oh, well, all is temporary...
Except teh diet industry, that shall stand eternal...


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## Paquito (Sep 19, 2010)

I don't hate celebrity weight loss. If it's what they want, then kudos and bravo all around. But some of the messages they send are fucked up. Like in Hudson's Weight Watchers promo, where she mentions that she loves herself that much more when she observes the difference in her body.

I don't support how it comes across as "oh I was fine being fatter I guess, but I can only love myself more now that I've lost weight."

But again, if she's happier thinner, then I'm glad for her.


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## joswitch (Sep 19, 2010)

MissStacie said:


> In recent days, there are a couple of threads that have either been started or have re-emerged here on Dims, both having to do with a couple of celebrities losing weight/more weight. I'm quite puzzled...
> 
> While I realize that this is a size acceptance site and we talk about accepting people at any size...etc, I cannot help but wonder why people post here and lament about these celebs losing weight. If we liked them before they lost weight, shouldn't we still like them AFTER?
> 
> ...



My liking of people, as friends, or the enjoying of their work as artists, has pretty much zip to do with their weight...

Whereas, whether or not I fancy someone has something to do with their weight... And yes, let's face it - I, like lots of other people will sometimes watch a film or TV show even if it's crap, just cos it has someone in it that I think is hott.... So when that chick does the big shrink I will be, oooh, a bit disappointed... For five minutes... And it does mix in with a vague and mostly unjustifiable sense of "Traitor!".... (see Sophie Dahl) 
But as they all do that, it's only a question of when, it doesn't even surprise me anymore... 
So, yeah, I'm over it.

Oh, except when they use it to $$sell more weight loss propaganda bullshit...
Then I'm all angry and shiz...
*shakes fist*


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## indy500tchr (Sep 19, 2010)

joswitch said:


> And it does mix in with a vague and mostly unjustifiable sense of "Traitor!".... (see Sophie Dahl)
> But as they all do that, it's only a question of when, it doesn't even surprise me anymore...
> So, yeah, I'm over it.
> 
> ...



Who is Sophie Dahl and why is she so bad when it comes to this topic?


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## thirtiesgirl (Sep 19, 2010)

indy500tchr said:


> Who is Sophie Dahl and why is she so bad when it comes to this topic?



She's the granddaughter of Roald Dahl who wrote James & the Giant Peach, Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, etc. She was a plus-sized model (although on the thinner side of plus) in the UK in the early 2000s. She lost some weight later in her career and, to my knowledge, hasn't done any modeling since. She's written a few books, including a cookbook, and writes for various magazines. She also did a short cooking series for BBCtv. Personally, I think she's stunningly beautiful in a perfect features sort of way, and reminds me a little bit of Debbie Harrie in some of her photos.

Here's a "now and then" pic montage of her:


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## indy500tchr (Sep 19, 2010)

thirtiesgirl said:


> She's the granddaughter of Roald Dahl who wrote James & the Giant Peach, Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, etc. She was a plus-sized model (although on the thinner side of plus) in the UK in the early 2000s. She lost some weight later in her career and, to my knowledge, hasn't done any modeling since. She's written a few books, including a cookbook, and writes for various magazines. She also did a short cooking series for BBCtv. Personally, I think she's stunningly beautiful in a perfect features sort of way, and reminds me a little bit of Debbie Harrie in some of her photos.
> 
> Here's a "now and then" pic montage of her:



I think she looks lovely either way. 

Wondering why Joswitch thinks she is more of a traitor compared to the other celebrities that have lost weight.


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## Russ2d (Sep 19, 2010)

I hate hearing about it because I'm attracted to fat women and don't want less of them in the world, especially when it is VERY likely that she is losing weight only to conform to our current unnatural standards.

It's ridiculous, the less natural curves a woman has the more she is promoted as beautiful, worse, we are now well within the insane realm of the more masculine a woman appears the more Hollywood and other media outlets declare them as somehow "ideal".

My last thought on this is that it's not news, I don't want to see this crap pop up on my Yahoo, or as news attached to my e-mail implying that this is something important that I should know about. It reminds me of an interview I read with Kirstie Alley where it came across that she actually felt that the people of the world were deeply interested and concerned over her desire to lose weight- that we we're all behind her somehow in her efforts... just sad


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## indy500tchr (Sep 19, 2010)

Russ2d said:


> I hate hearing about it because I'm attracted to fat women and don't want less of them in the world, especially when it is VERY likely that she is losing weight only to conform to our current unnatural standards.
> 
> It's ridiculous, the less natural curves a woman has the more she is promoted as beautiful, worse, we are now well within the insane realm of the more masculine a woman appears the more Hollywood and other media outlets declare them as somehow "ideal".



I hate hearing that I am not "normal" by societies standards and am not ever going to be stick thin like these celebrities. You also have to realize that the US as a whole is far fatter than the VERY small handful of celebrities on TV. We just hear about them because well...they are on TV. They by no way shape or form represent what the US looks like by far. I try to ignore the media as much as I can b/c those people don't represent what normal Americans look like....only what a lot of them think we should look like.


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## joswitch (Sep 19, 2010)

thirtiesgirl said:


> She's the granddaughter of Roald Dahl who wrote James & the Giant Peach, Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, etc. She was a plus-sized model (although on the thinner side of plus) in the UK in the early 2000s. She lost some weight later in her career and, to my knowledge, hasn't done any modeling since. She's written a few books, including a cookbook, and writes for various magazines. She also did a short cooking series for BBCtv. Personally, I think she's stunningly beautiful in a perfect features sort of way, and reminds me a little bit of Debbie Harrie in some of her photos.
> 
> Here's a "now and then" pic montage of her:



And, back when she was modelling she was pretty much the ONLY plus-size (plus-size in the fashion industry sense, which is actually small by FA/BBW standards, but at least her bones were covered) model on the catwalk... Or anywhere else mainstream....

See also, before :
















And after  :








Ack, I just realised that face-wise, in some of her before pics she looks a lot like my BBW gf from about 3 years ago... Oh, teh melancholy, it burnzzzzz...


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## Cynthia (Sep 19, 2010)

I believe strongly that people should have autonomy over their bodies. What galls me is when celebrities invariably do the "I was fat and miserable; now I'm thin and worthy" song and dance after weight loss. For once, I would love to see a formerly fat celebrity continue to vigorously champion size rights and challenge messages that devalue fat people. And, yes, I'm sure that some here would call that hypocrisy, but I counter that size rights isn't about the fat. It's about respecting each other as human beings with the right to make independent decisions about our bodies.


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## Russ2d (Sep 19, 2010)

> But as they all do that, it's only a question of when, it doesn't even surprise me anymore...



Exactly, it's only a question of when, the pressure is so great that basically they'll all surcome eventually.


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## indy500tchr (Sep 19, 2010)

Russ2d said:


> Exactly, it's only a question of when, the pressure is so great that basically they'll all surcome eventually.



If it hasn't gotten to me in 33 years I highly doubt it will. There's this thing called free will that a lot of us have that doesn't allow media to brainwash us. I've been told I've been too fat and to go on a diet so I can be a normal weight since the age of 7 and look where it got me?


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## mossystate (Sep 19, 2010)

Eh...fat women who have small breasts and hips and who are wee of butt, and are mostly belly...they are not going to be viewed as ' feminine ' by most people, including here...no way...no how. Eh. Blah. Oh, and, bodies that have few curves...those are actual natural bodies, same as their currrrvy sisters. It's true. 
---
Cynthia...your post...:bow::bow::bow:


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## CastingPearls (Sep 19, 2010)

indy500tchr said:


> If it hasn't gotten to me in 33 years I highly doubt it will. There's this thing called free will that a lot of us have that doesn't allow media to brainwash us. I've been told I've been too fat and to go on a diet so I can be a normal weight since the age of 7 and look where it got me?


I was three. I was told by my own father that if I didn't knock the weight off before ten I was doomed. He was also fat and remains so to this day. He hates his body. I choose not to hate mine and in fact, embrace it. But it can be very tough when it seems like the entire world thinks you're defective.


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## Russ2d (Sep 19, 2010)

indy500tchr said:


> I hate hearing that I am not "normal" by societies standards and am not ever going to be stick thin like these celebrities. You also have to realize that the US as a whole is far fatter than the VERY small handful of celebrities on TV. We just hear about them because well...they are on TV. They by no way shape or form represent what the US looks like by far. I try to ignore the media as much as I can b/c those people don't represent what normal Americans look like....only what a lot of them think we should look like.



Indeed... I do my best to ignore it too but damn it's everywhere.
The 'media world' has more technology and power then ever before in human history and its' primary goal is to sell stuff- shows, products, concepts etc.

I've talked about this many times but in a nut shell women's bodies are a cash cow (I know ). It's profitable to get you into a war with your body, and it can be done under the guise of 'helping' you. 

The basic message is always the same- 

"You're ugly and unhealthy, now buy this."


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## Russ2d (Sep 19, 2010)

indy500tchr said:


> If it hasn't gotten to me in 33 years I highly doubt it will. There's this thing called free will that a lot of us have that doesn't allow media to brainwash us. I've been told I've been too fat and to go on a diet so I can be a normal weight since the age of 7 and look where it got me?



NO NO, I was referring to those inside of the Hollywood/media bubble, it seems every actress or media employ goes that way- thank god not every woman in the real world has fallen for this (although unfortunately many have). Kudos to you for not!


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## indy500tchr (Sep 19, 2010)

Russ2d said:


> Indeed... I do my best to ignore it too but damn it's everywhere.
> The 'media world' has more technology and power then ever before in human history and its' primary goal is to sell stuff- shows, products, concepts etc.
> 
> I've talked about this many times but in a nut shell women's bodies are a cash cow (I know ). It's profitable to get you into a war with your body, and it can be done under the guise of 'helping' you.
> ...





Russ2d said:


> NO NO, I was referring to those inside of the Hollywood/media bubble, it seems every actress or media employ goes that way- thank god not every woman in the real world has fallen for this. Kudos to you



both very good points and I agree


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## bmann0413 (Sep 20, 2010)

Me, I have no problem with celebrity weight loss... too much. I mean, if that's what they want to do, then it's all on them. It's their weight, not mine.

Sometimes it does make me feel a little upset when my favorite actresses loses weight, but then I just shrug it off.


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## LoveBHMS (Sep 20, 2010)

People gain and lose weight for a variety of reasons, many if not most of which are private. The mere fact of somebody being a celebrity doesn't burden that individual with having to disclose the reasons for weight loss or feelings about his or her body. Who's to say whether or not any public statements about how much a fat actress loves her body or loves being big weren't fake to begin with or were not the result of public pressure. Maybe she was totally miserable being fat but thought she had to pretend otherwise.

There really isn't any such thing as "pretty" or "not pretty". It's all subjective. Sophie Dahl looked "better" to an FA when she was fat, and likely looks "better" to a non FA now that she's skinny.

I totally agree with the OP. It is very unsettling to come here and see people's choices about their bodies being scrutinized.


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## joswitch (Sep 20, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> People gain and lose weight for a variety of reasons, many if not most of which are private. The mere fact of somebody being a celebrity doesn't burden that individual with having to disclose the reasons for weight loss or feelings about his or her body. *snip*



And yet they almost always do!
And almost always in order to pimp a weightloss book / DVD!
For lots of $$$$$$!
Which whoring out of their "privacy" is, oddly enough, why a lot of people are disinclined to respect their "privacy"...

In fact you can pretty much draw a direct correlation between people's ire at an ex-fat celeb, and how much cashing in on their weightloss that ex-fat celeb has done.

For instance - I bear la Dahl no ill will... 
Sure, I miss seeing her all supercurvy in teh media, but meh - she never set herself up as a fat spokesperson (tho' the media pushed her to be such) nor as a weightloss advocate later... So no beef with her really...


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## LoveBHMS (Sep 20, 2010)

So somebody can earn money. Big deal. Millions of people go to Weight Watchers and pay for it, yet Jennifer Hudson can GET paid to go. Good for her. 

What annoys me, and i think this is part of what the OP was getting at, is this whole idea that anything a person does is somehow suspect and due to social manipulation and pressure rather than personal choice. Without knowing somebody personally, you have no idea why they're losing or gaining weight. Some people may have health or mobility issues at lower weights, some may simply be unhappy being fat. Some may have a partner who prefers a different size. Some newspaper ran an article about how a fat actress had trouble finding a designer who could give her an outfit for an awards show; something like that sounds like a total pain and inconvenience. Even those who like being fat will admit that being thin is easier; it's easier to find clothes, it's easier to move, it's easier to fit in booths and airline seats, it's easier to not have to listen to criticism of being fat.


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## joswitch (Sep 20, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> So somebody can earn money. Big deal. Millions of people go to Weight Watchers and pay for it, yet Jennifer Hudson can GET paid to go. Good for her.



No. Bad for her.
Cos as soon as she, or any celeb, signs up for that they are serving the fat / hate / shame money-go-round, which sucks on a global scale.



> What annoys me, and i think this is part of what the OP was getting at, is this whole idea that anything a person does is somehow suspect and due to social manipulation and pressure rather than personal choice.


Most people are quite easily socially programmed. 
That's why billions is spent on bloody advertising - cos it works.
If that annoys you? Tough. That's reality. Deal with it.



> Without knowing somebody personally, you have no idea why they're losing or gaining weight. Some people may have health or mobility issues at lower weights, some may simply be unhappy being fat. Some may have a partner who prefers a different size. Some newspaper ran an article about how a fat actress had trouble finding a designer who could give her an outfit for an awards show; something like that sounds like a total pain and inconvenience. Even those who like being fat will admit that being thin is easier; it's easier to find clothes, it's easier to move, it's easier to fit in booths and airline seats, it's easier to not have to listen to criticism of being fat.



I don't actually care why someone chooses to lose.
Their body. Their right. Their choice.
I only care when they choose to further propagandize the weightloss pusher agenda.
Then, they've crossed the line, from "In charge of my own destiny" to "Fucking with everyone else's heads for $$$$"


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## Tau (Sep 20, 2010)

The ones who bother me are the ones who were super vocal about how much they LOVED their fat bodies and would never change for anything. I distinctly remember reading articles and watching interviews where celebs like Sophie Dahl and Ozzie Osbourne's daughter said exactly this. Next thing their thin and OMG life was so awful as a fat girl and they thank God they saw the light and lost the weight. That makes me mad cos say what you will it makes the rest of us who actually do like our bodies and don't want to be size zero look like lying, miserable blobs who're just in denial cos we don't have the money to hire a personal trainer and spend 16 hours a day working out.


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## Carrie (Sep 20, 2010)

Tau said:


> The ones who bother me are the ones who were super vocal about how much they LOVED their fat bodies and would never change for anything. I distinctly remember reading articles and watching interviews where celebs like Sophie Dahl and Ozzie Osbourne's daughter said exactly this. Next thing their thin and OMG life was so awful as a fat girl and they thank God they saw the light and lost the weight. That makes me mad cos say what you will it makes the rest of us who actually do like our bodies and don't want to be size zero look like lying, miserable blobs who're just in denial cos we don't have the money to hire a personal trainer and spend 16 hours a day working out.


This is pretty much how I feel about it, too (also agree w/AnnMarie's earlier post very much). Everyone has the right to do as they wish with their own bodies and follow their bliss wherever it takes them, but it does sting a bit when celebs who were previously publicly happy and comfortable with their larger sized bodies turn around and talk about how miserable they really were. I wish they'd just stick to how happy they are now in their smaller bodies, or shut up about being happy fat if they're really not. I just feel pretty certain that it gives the anti-fat brigade even more smug certainty that no one can possibly be fat and content when celebs peddle the "look at me now!! look at how gross and miserable I was then, back when I was lying and pretending to be happy!!" schtick.


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## EtobicokeFA (Sep 20, 2010)

Carrie said:


> This is pretty much how I feel about it, too (also agree w/AnnMarie's earlier post very much). Everyone has the right to do as they wish with their own bodies and follow their bliss wherever it takes them, but it does sting a bit when celebs who were previously publicly happy and comfortable with their larger sized bodies turn around and talk about how miserable they really were. I wish they'd just stick to how happy they are now in their smaller bodies, or shut up about being happy fat if they're really not. I just feel pretty certain that it gives the anti-fat brigade even more smug certainty that no one can possibly be fat and content when celebs peddle the "look at me now!! look at how gross and miserable I was then, back when I was lying and pretending to be happy!!" schtick.



True. But isn't strange that a number of celebs have sang the praises of their love (or acceptance) of being a fat person, until they make a big enough name for themselves, then suddenly start singing the praises of being thin?

And I mean were they really miserable about their weight before they got famous? Or did they something happen after the fact.


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## joswitch (Sep 20, 2010)

EtobicokeFA said:


> True. But isn't strange that a number of celebs have sang the praises of their love (or acceptance) of being a fat person, until they make a big enough name for themselves, then suddenly start singing the praises of being thin?
> 
> And I mean were they really miserable about their weight before they got famous? Or did they something happen after the fact.



Money happened!!

It goes like this:

Dietpusher: "Hi, newly famous fat person! We'll give you $$$$ to lose weight on and endorse our pill / programme / DVD / book / group"
Newly famous fat person: "Awesome! Where do I sign up!"


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## LovelyLiz (Sep 20, 2010)

joswitch said:


> Money happened!!
> 
> It goes like this:
> 
> ...



Money might be a piece of the puzzle, but I don't think it's that simple. 

Another aspect, that also has to do with the fame directly, is that when you're not very famous, and not thin, you're maybe getting crap from some people about your weight, but a lot of people just ignore your size or don't make a huge deal out of it. The more famous you are, a significantly higher number of people will be paying constant attention to your weight, writing about it, talking about your body in excruciating detail... I imagine that can be wearing as well. 

Again, I have no idea what propelled any specific celebrity to lose weight - but just acknowledging the power of what Carrie called the "anti-fat brigade."


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## PeanutButterfly (Sep 20, 2010)

While I wouldn't say I'm against celebrity weight loss, I do lament the loss of "one of own". As a girl who's always been plus size, I view chubby/fat actresses and media images as role models. Growing up watching all the stick thin celebrities out there kinda sucked, so when I found someone like America Ferrera who was gorgeous, down to earth, successful AND fat that gave me someone to look up to. 

What bothers me is when women, like America Ferrera, like Sarah Rue, like Jennifer Hudson go from curvy to down right thin. It basically sends the message that their bodies weren't good enough and that mine isn't either. While I have enough self esteem to love myself and know this is not the case, seeing these women affirm this seems like a "traitor" move to me. I mean it's their bodies and they should do what makes them happy, it just sucks to think that the entire time I admired them for being such a great role model and so confident they were wishing they could be a size 2. It seems hypocritical to do interviews with 17 about loving yourself and make movies like "Real Women Have Curves" and then to go get rid of most of your curves...

While I still would go to the movies or watch a TV show with these women in it, I don't feel the same connection or even respect I once did for them. It may not be the politically correct, "we love everyone no matter what answer", but it's the truth.


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## superodalisque (Sep 20, 2010)

i only feel bad if someone couldn't feel comfortable being big even if its something they really wanted in their heart. if they decide to lose weight i don't take it as an indictment on myself or how i look at all. i don't make those kinds of comparisons. i'm me. they are them. how i feel about me is all up to me. i can't help it but it bothers me when i see a guy making much over how it really bothers him that one woman, he'll probably never meet, decided to lose weight to make herself happy. it smacks of a kind of entitlement and hankering after control that i'm not comfortable with.


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## LovelyLiz (Sep 21, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> i only feel bad if someone couldn't feel comfortable being big even if its something they really wanted in their heart. if they decide to lose weight i don't take it as an indictment on myself or how i look at all. i don't make those kinds of comparisons. i'm me. they are them. how i feel about me is all up to me. i can't help it but it bothers me when i see a guy making much over how it really bothers him that one woman, he'll probably never meet, *decided to lose weight to make herself happy*. it smacks of a kind of entitlement and hankering after control that i'm not comfortable with.



Well, I just don't know that we can say she (whoever "she" is in any individual case) decided to lose weight to "make herself happy." Maybe that's why she did it, and if so, great. But all of us fat people know the kind of pressure that exists to lose weight on the basis of larger social stigma and assumptions about fatness and fat people. Can a fat person choose to lose weight for whatever reason they want? Of course. But I think we can be bummed out when it's for reasons that are based in fat-hate.

The thing is, with these celebrities, we really have no idea why they lost the weight. And we probably never will. Even if they tell us their reasons, who knows if those are the real reasons or if it's just a calculated way of expressing something, y'know?


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## superodalisque (Sep 21, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Well, I just don't know that we can say she (whoever "she" is in any individual case) decided to lose weight to "make herself happy." Maybe that's why she did it, and if so, great. But all of us fat people know the kind of pressure that exists to lose weight on the basis of larger social stigma and assumptions about fatness and fat people. Can a fat person choose to lose weight for whatever reason they want? Of course. But I think we can be bummed out when it's for reasons that are based in fat-hate.
> 
> The thing is, with these celebrities, we really have no idea why they lost the weight. And we probably never will. Even if they tell us their reasons, who knows if those are the real reasons or if it's just a calculated way of expressing something, y'know?



your exactly right about that. and truth be told THEY may not know exactly why either. if its pressure they are succumbing to maybe they need to go down that road to find out whats true for them. maybe they need to know for themselves if skinny really does make them happy or not. but, i still can't understand what mirroring fat prejudice with thin prejudice can do for any woman except make her feel unacceptable at any size she is small or large. i guess what i'm saying is anything that can contribute to any woman hating any size body she's in or feeling dissatisfied with herself makes me uncomfortable. 

all of it interjects someone's else's expectations on her. maybe its time for women to decide for themselves what they in particular should look like based on how they actually feel and not looking at themselves through the eyes of another. it might be hard for them to do that if the rest of us can't let go of the idea that when it comes to someones else's happiness or comfort our opinions really count for much in the scheme of things. maybe we're giving ourselves too many rights when it comes to another person's choice about how they should exist in the world. i know its pie in the sky idealism to think that people should or would put the brakes on impressing their will or expectations on someone else but thats where i am right now.


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## Inhibited (Sep 21, 2010)

I think the problem for me is that those who have lost weight often judge overs who haven't they seem to have the attitude if i can do it you can do it too. I for one am proud of anyone who achieves their ideal weight its a lot of hard work.

I get ppl coming up to me at the gym all the time telling me that they have lost this and that which is great but losing weight isn't a goal of mine and ppl just don't get how you can be happy and confident without losing weight like they have...


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## superodalisque (Sep 21, 2010)

Inhibited said:


> I think the problem for me is that those who have lost weight often judge overs who haven't they seem to have the attitude if i can do it you can do it too. I for one am proud of anyone who achieves their ideal weight its a lot of hard work.
> 
> I get ppl coming up to me at the gym all the time telling me that they have lost this and that which is great but losing weight isn't a goal of mine and ppl just don't get how you can be happy and confident without losing weight like they have...



i get that. it wasn't my goal to lose the weight i lost and i'm always getting congratulated. it shows a lot on my face and from the waist up and i look like i've lost a whole lot more than i have. it gets on my nerves. but people don't do it to be mean but to acknowledge the hard work they THINK i've done. my weight loss was, for the most part, was through no real effort on my own.

even though i hate the assumption that everyone wants to and should lose weight i am all for the "you can do it " team. a lot of people who just want to lose a little to help their mobility or something are also bombarded with the idea they can't or that its a biologically impossibly. for most people its not. it might be extremely hard, much harder than it would be for anyone else but not impossible. the can't crew pisses me off much more than the can crew and that has nothing to do with supporting dieting. i just hate people telling fat people they can't do something. i think maybe thats part of what pisses off some ex fat people and why they might get so gung ho. i'm not so sure its just about being better but just being angry about how people told them they couldn't do things for so long. i don't think they always mean the ' if i can do it..." thing as a judgement so much as an encouragement. maybe they remember when they thought it was entirely too hard and just about everyone else thought so too. they feel they did it and so they know you can. it might not come out right but i don't think its always coming from a bad place.


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## LoveBHMS (Sep 21, 2010)

> Money happened!!
> 
> It goes like this:
> 
> ...



Not all weight loss is the result of some conspiracy, and it's not all down to social manipulation. Some people just want to lose weight and it's entirely possible that a celebrity or anyone else has his or her private reasons including health that they don't want to make public. Second guessing somebody's reasons or motivations for doing what they do is a lot more offensive than scrutinizing their body and making insulting proclamations about whether or not you bear them any ill will for having the gall to lose weight.

The simple truth is that lots of fat people hate being fat and all the insisting in the world about conspiracies and true motivation and lies from the medical community isn't going to change that.


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## Ruffie (Sep 21, 2010)

Cynthia said:


> I believe strongly that people should have autonomy over their bodies. What galls me is when celebrities invariably do the "I was fat and miserable; now I'm thin and worthy" song and dance after weight loss. For once, I would love to see a formerly fat celebrity continue to vigorously champion size rights and challenge messages that devalue fat people. And, yes, I'm sure that some here would call that hypocrisy, but I counter that size rights isn't about the fat. It's about respecting each other as human beings with the right to make independent decisions about our bodies.



I wonder however if the organizations would want them as a champion for size rights. I have seen people who are mid sized and even smaller - well lets be honest women primarily, who feel marginalized by these communities. They aren't "fat" enough in some and note I said SOME people in the organizations minds to have experienced the discrimination or health problems that a larger person has experienced. If a celebrity who lost a great deal of weight continued to be a champion for fat rights there are those of us that would embrace it and be grateful for the attention that they would bring to the cause, but sadly there would be so many more that would see it as being phoney and that they couldn't truly champion our rights because they were not happy being fat and sold themselves out by losing weight . I agree with you that unfortunately many would view it-on both sides of the issue as hypocrisy and I for one find that truly sad.


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## LovelyLiz (Sep 21, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Not all weight loss is the result of some conspiracy, and it's not all down to social manipulation. Some people just want to lose weight and it's entirely possible that a celebrity or anyone else has his or her private reasons including health that they don't want to make public. Second guessing somebody's reasons or motivations for doing what they do is a lot more offensive than scrutinizing their body and making insulting proclamations about whether or not you bear them any ill will for having the gall to lose weight.
> 
> The simple truth is that lots of fat people hate being fat and all the insisting in the world about conspiracies and true motivation and lies from the medical community isn't going to change that.



I agree with much of what you said here, at least as it pertains to individuals' motives, which I agree remain a mystery. But you take a much more fatalistic approach, it seems, about whether we can move as a society toward one where maybe some of the reasons people choose to lose weight (ie, pure aesthetics, fat-hate, etc.) diminish in some of their influence or persuasive power. Using particular instances (like celebrity weight loss) to talk about some of these other reasons, while still knowing that we'll never know exactly the motivations of celebrity X, is something that can be helpful in bringing social messages to light and discussing them critically.

Living as a fat person in our culture does mean that the ways fatness is thought about, and how fat (and formerly fat) people talk about their weight in the public eye, can affect my everyday life because it contributes to the general perception of fat. And I do have hope that while, as you say, some "fat people hate being fat" - some of those people are able to shed some of that self-hatred when they begin to see things from other perspectives. Of course some will still hate being fat, and I don't at all think we should force anyone to have any kind of body; if anyone wants to lose weight, for whatever their own reasons, fine. But we can still have the conversation.


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## Russ2d (Sep 21, 2010)

> Not all weight loss is the result of some conspiracy, and it's not all down to social manipulation.



Come on let's get serious here. Don't play make believe that we live in some kind of non-manipulative non-pressure society. The pressure on women to be skinny is ENORMOUS and EVERYWHERE; TV, Movies, Magazines, Books, ADs, Commercials, and the monster money machine Diet/Diet Products/Exercise/"Health"/Drug Industries

The fantasy that women and girls are not being influenced by these CONSTANT messages levied at them is quite insane

Celebrities are told what to look like. Hollywood runs on formulas and one of them is that women must be super thin, the more bone thin the better, or even masculine looking. Look at all the actresses over the years who have slowly but surely gone down the weight-loss hole. Try naming them, and you'll find that it's 90% of them. So what we're supposed to believe that they all woke up one day and independently decided for themselves that their bodies needed changing? Ridiculous

One of my favorite cases in point is when Patricia Arquette exposed what she encountered behind the scenes when a Medium Producer told her (on a show where she play's a mother mind you) "Honey, you need to lose some weight." When she discovered they were dead serious she almost, and to her credit, quit the show. An isolated incident? I think not 

It's about money, you want to work, you want the role, you got to be thin. Hey you've lost weight, now write a book, sell a video, tell your story, sponsor our product. It's also about peer pressure, when a celebrity loses weight they almost always become "role model" preachers, with the media backing them up 100% for the rest of us; how many times have we seen this- "She lost 30 lbs, here's how she did it" or "Her best body yet, read her secrets inside" or "How did she do it? We'll tell you."

But despite what they tell you, most of the "secrets" are actually just plain ol drugs, surgery, airbrushing, and now the far more sophisticated photo and film manipulations.



Basing this not on this one thread but on many posts outside the Paysite Forum I think Dimensions has become a weird place. What was suppose to be an oasis for the fat and their admirers, a place where size acceptance meant accepting fat people (last time I checked thin people really don't need an acceptance movement) Dimensions has become almost a quasi weight-loss site to me.

Joswitch made this point in a different post:

On Dims mention weight-loss and a great many will have a lot of positive and supportive things to say.
Mention weight-gain or disappointment in someone's weight-loss and watch the sparks fly.


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## CarlaSixx (Sep 21, 2010)

Commenting on something I saw on the first page...

How does having a few masculine traits make someone less of a woman? I mean, honestly!

I am all woman. But I do have some masculine features. Yeah, I'm fat, but fat does not equal femininity! But do I really have to slather on makeup every day, show as much cleavage as possible, and wear hair that's at _least_ past my shoulders to be considered feminine? HELL TO THA MOTHA EFFIN NO!

I am a woman. All woman. So are those celebrities. I think femininity is NOT a look but rather an attitude and how you carry yourself in life.

To say that "oh she's got a strong jaw and short hair" makes her masculine is outrageous! Case in point: Kiera Knightley. 

Not to mention you'e probably undermining their talents just because you go "I want a chick with big boobs, big butt, and long hair." And you pass them right by because a dude can't get up from looking at that. Insane! 

It's all in the attitude.

[/rant]

As for the woman Joswitch mentioned... dang she was stuuuuunning before!  She used to have the figure most women I know would _die for!_

-----

As for the original intent of this thread:

I don't mind when celebrities lose weight. If they do it in a very unhealthy manner, or look sickly after weight loss, then yeah, I will care. It's just common sense. If they look like a starving child, I'm going to be concerned, but that's all. 

As for when it comes to a recently bumped thread about Jennifer Hudson, the main issue I have is that she has come so far, been awarded so many things, and she somehow makes it out to be that all that success was meaningless jut because she was a thick girl. Her rant in a recent commercial about "I was living in a world of Can't" is what's got people riled up. If you couldn't do anything before, how come you were so successful BEFORE the weight loss? THAT'S the whole point!

Mind you... I also find some faces can't pull off being thin... Jennifer's being one of them. She's got a face meant to be on top of a bit of pudge. She looks, to me, like a bobblehead doll right now. But that may also be caused by the style of hair she's always got going on. 

So, I don't mind when they lose weight, but when they say everything was meaningless before they lost it, that's what rubs me the wrong way.


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## superodalisque (Sep 21, 2010)

Russ2d said:


> Come on let's get serious here. Don't play make believe that we live in some kind of non-manipulative non-pressure society. The pressure on women to be skinny is ENORMOUS and EVERYWHERE; TV, Movies, Magazines, Books, ADs, Commercials, and the monster money machine Diet/Diet Products/Exercise/"Health"/Drug Industries
> 
> The fantasy that women and girls are not being influenced by these CONSTANT messages levied at them is quite insane



but haven't you bought a myth about fat people yourself? have you bought into the myth that every last fat person hates being fat and feels like a total victim to society?


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## LoveBHMS (Sep 21, 2010)

Russ2d said:


> Come on let's get serious here. Don't play make believe that we live in some kind of non-manipulative non-pressure society. The pressure on women to be skinny is ENORMOUS and EVERYWHERE; TV, Movies, Magazines, Books, ADs, Commercials, and the monster money machine Diet/Diet Products/Exercise/"Health"/Drug Industries
> 
> The fantasy that women and girls are not being influenced by these CONSTANT messages levied at them is quite insane
> 
> ...



What I said was that anyone who wants to lose weight isn't necessarily doing it because of society. There are also health, mobility, comfort, personal aesthetics, and other reasons.

The fact that you focus just on women, coupled with the fact that you yourself workout regularly tells me this is a lot less about size acceptance and a lot more about the hysteria that Traceyarts pointed out, the fear that somebody somewhere is losing weight whether or not it concerns you. Honestly Russ, haven't you said on this very board that men "should be as lean and muscular as possible"? How is that size acceptance? It's not. It's simply your own personal twist on what people should look like and what's attractive and "normal".

And why does it matter if Patricia Arquette played a mother in her show? Does that alone mean she was no longer supposed to be conventionally attractive or that the fact of her being a mother meant she was no longer supposed to fit into a certain mold?


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## MizzSnakeBite (Sep 21, 2010)

Russ2d said:


> *Come on let's get serious here. Don't play make believe that we live in some kind of non-manipulative non-pressure society. The pressure on women to be skinny is ENORMOUS and EVERYWHERE; TV, Movies, Magazines, Books, ADs, Commercials, and the monster money machine Diet/Diet Products/Exercise/"Health"/Drug Industries
> 
> The fantasy that women and girls are not being influenced by these CONSTANT messages levied at them is quite insane
> *
> ...



You know what, as a fat woman, I find the bolded part extremely offensive. It's like you're saying, 'now honey, you really don't know your own mind.' When I was younger, the societal influences played a part, but a *small* part. I wanted to be able to join in on things that because of my size, I couldn't; such as amusement park rides, etc. I wanted to be able to run and play without getting out of breath. Yes, I wanted the boys attention, the cute clothes, but I mainly wanted to be able to run around without my body complaining and in pain. Fast forward to now, and I could care less about the societal influences. When I wake up in pain, my joints screaming, I could care less about men, clothes, and Hollywood. When I'm in tears because my back is killing me because I've been standing for just a few minutes in line, I could care less about men, clothes, and Hollywood. When I was physically unable to run after my dog that got loose, I could care less about men, clothes, and Hollywood. When I have to constantly think about if I can fit though x, y, z, and/or if something will hold my weight, I could care less about men, clothes, and Hollywood. Do you catch my drift? I would like my body to actually work with minimal complaints, and not have to take all these meds because co-morbidity's due to my weight. This has nothing to do with men, clothes, or Hollywood. At this point in my life, I could give a rat's ass about the societal pressures of being fat. I would like my body to work correctly, and it works a hell of a lot better at a lower weight. So sorry for the boner deflation. 

As for the 'backlash' you and Joswitch are complaining about.... To be blunt, expect a backlash when you tell people how they feel and why they're acting a certain way. 

You might come here to lust and fantasize over a fat body, but we get to live with that body. As many have said, it's not all cupcakes and rainbows.


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## Dromond (Sep 21, 2010)

Shame on you for shitting all over their fantasies.


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## MizzSnakeBite (Sep 21, 2010)

Dromond said:


> Shame on you for shitting all over their fantasies.



I know, reality and I are bad like that.


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## Carrie (Sep 21, 2010)

As has been stated previously, people lose weight for all sorts of reasons. Career pressure (as with many celebrities), societal pressure, health reasons, a desire to have more fashion choices or move more easily/without pain, the list goes on and on. We don't know for sure why any person attempts to lose weight unless we hear it from him/her. Does societal pressure exist? Of course it does. But to attribute all efforts at weight loss to it and it alone is overly simplistic at best, and often patently wrong. And I absolutely agree w/Devi that many of us reach a point where our reality trumps societal pressure any day of the week.


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## LovelyLiz (Sep 21, 2010)

Carrie said:


> As has been stated previously, people lose weight for all sorts of reasons. Career pressure (as with many celebrities), societal pressure, health reasons, a desire to have more fashion choices or move more easily/without pain, the list goes on and on. We don't know for sure why any person attempts to lose weight unless we hear it from him/her. Does societal pressure exist? Of course it does. But to attribute all efforts at weight loss to it and it alone is overly simplistic at best, and often patently wrong. And I absolutely agree w/Devi that many of us reach a point where our reality trumps societal pressure any day of the week.



I agree totally. But you guys aren't saying that it's not worth talking about and being critical of the societal pressure aspect, right? (I'm completely on board with saying it's just a small piece in a much bigger pie, ftr.)


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## Carrie (Sep 21, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> I agree totally. But you guys aren't saying that it's not worth talking about and being critical of the societal pressure aspect, right? (I'm completely on board with saying it's just a small piece in a much bigger pie, ftr.)


Oh, no, it's totally worth discussion, in my opinion. It's just not going to be very useful if anyone goes into it assuming that everyone who loses weight did it because of that, that's all I meant.


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## LovelyLiz (Sep 21, 2010)

Carrie said:


> Oh, no, it's totally worth discussion, in my opinion. It's just not going to be very useful if anyone goes into it assuming that everyone who loses weight did it because of that, that's all I meant.



Word.  ................


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## Tracyarts (Sep 21, 2010)

" Come on let's get serious here. Don't play make believe that we live in some kind of non-manipulative non-pressure society. The pressure on women to be skinny is ENORMOUS and EVERYWHERE "

In the course of the past eight hours since I have been awake today, I have been bombarded with pressure to conform in ways that range from profound, to personal, to downright trivial. From the media as well as from society. 

The pressure on women to be *any number of things* is enormous and everywhere. And in many cases, surpasses the pressure to be skinny by leaps and bounds because it affects women of all shapes and sizes. 

And as women, we have to choose our battles. 

Some issues are important enough that we take a stand and refuse to cave to the pressure. Some issues aren't important enough to take that stand, so we choose what makes things easier for us or what gets other people off our back. And sometimes what we really want mirrors what society expects us to want so it might appear as if we have caved in to the pressure, when in reality it's just a win-win situation.

Tracy


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## mossystate (Sep 21, 2010)

The huge ' concern ' always makes me wonder if the people are as outraged on the part of women when it comes to any number of other issues.

Openly outraged, and not only because affects ones personal desires- politics...whatever. I sure do keep my eyes and ears open.

Yeah.


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## joswitch (Sep 21, 2010)

MizzSnakeBite said:


> *snip*
> 
> As for the 'backlash' you and Joswitch are complaining about.... To be blunt, expect a backlash when you tell people how they feel and why they're acting a certain way.
> 
> You might come here to lust and fantasize over a fat body, but we get to live with that body. As many have said, it's not all cupcakes and rainbows.



As my name was mentioned: 

I don't think it counts as a "backlash" when people like you, are just saying how you really feel....


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## MizzSnakeBite (Sep 21, 2010)

Carrie said:


> As has been stated previously, people lose weight for all sorts of reasons. Career pressure (as with many celebrities), societal pressure, health reasons, a desire to have more fashion choices or move more easily/without pain, the list goes on and on. We don't know for sure why any person attempts to lose weight unless we hear it from him/her. Does societal pressure exist? Of course it does. But to attribute all efforts at weight loss to it and it alone is overly simplistic at best, and often patently wrong. And I absolutely agree w/Devi that many of us reach a point where our reality trumps societal pressure any day of the week.



You have no idea how relieved and glad I am that someone gets what I'm saying.  



mcbeth said:


> I agree totally. But you guys aren't saying that it's not worth talking about and being critical of the societal pressure aspect, right? (I'm completely on board with saying it's just a small piece in a much bigger pie, ftr.)



No, I'm not saying that. The problem I have is when people keep saying I'm doing something or caving into societal pressures, when they don't know me (or whomever they're talking about) or my motivation(s).


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## joswitch (Sep 21, 2010)

Dromond said:


> Shame on you for shitting all over their fantasies.



Now you're just pandering to the scat-fetishists!
Shame on you, Dromond!


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## Dromond (Sep 21, 2010)

The only one I pander to is my wife. Everything else I say is either serious or not. Some days I'm not even sure if I'm being serious or not.


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## LovelyLiz (Sep 21, 2010)

MizzSnakeBite said:


> No, I'm not saying that. The problem I have is when people keep saying I'm doing something or caving into societal pressures, when they don't know me (or whomever they're talking about) or my motivation(s).



Absolutely! I can see how much that would suck. Some people seem simply not open to hearing a person's experience if it goes against what they've already decided must be the case. It's a sad thing.


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## disconnectedsmile (Sep 21, 2010)

MissStacie said:


> Are any of you going to like me any less because of it?


well, this _is_ dimensions...


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## MizzSnakeBite (Sep 21, 2010)

joswitch said:


> As my name was mentioned:
> 
> I don't think it counts as a "backlash" when people like you, are just saying how you really feel....



Then do you get how......beyond irritating...it is that we often have to provide examples, open up our private lives, to practically prove that we have our own minds? We will say, 'no, we're not wanting to lose weight because of societal pressures,' then we get, 'oh yes you are. You just don't realize it.' As if we don't possibly know what's going on in our own heads.

When I see a commercial of a slender woman running errands, jogging, cleaning without sweat pouring down their face, etc, and I wail to myself, "I wish I was her!," it isn't because I want to look like her, be society's perceived beauty, it's because I want to have the energy to do those things, have a body that is able to stand up to those often mundane activities. It has -nothing- to do with bowing down to society's standards.


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## joswitch (Sep 21, 2010)

Dromond said:


> The only one I pander to is my wife. *snip*



I now have mental image of John Belushi in a panda suit, giving his wife a foot rub...


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## Dromond (Sep 21, 2010)

I do have dark glasses and a fedora, but forget the panda suit. Neither of us are into furries.


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## Inhibited (Sep 22, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> i get that. it wasn't my goal to lose the weight i lost and i'm always getting congratulated. it shows a lot on my face and from the waist up and i look like i've lost a whole lot more than i have. it gets on my nerves. but people don't do it to be mean but to acknowledge the hard work they THINK i've done. my weight loss was, for the most part, was through no real effort on my own.
> 
> even though i hate the assumption that everyone wants to and should lose weight i am all for the "you can do it " team. a lot of people who just want to lose a little to help their mobility or something are also bombarded with the idea they can't or that its a biologically impossibly. for most people its not. it might be extremely hard, much harder than it would be for anyone else but not impossible. the can't crew pisses me off much more than the can crew and that has nothing to do with supporting dieting. i just hate people telling fat people they can't do something. i think maybe thats part of what pisses off some ex fat people and why they might get so gung ho. i'm not so sure its just about being better but just being angry about how people told them they couldn't do things for so long. i don't think they always mean the ' if i can do it..." thing as a judgement so much as an encouragement. maybe they remember when they thought it was entirely too hard and just about everyone else thought so too. they feel they did it and so they know you can. it might not come out right but i don't think its always coming from a bad place.



Actually you make a very good point maybe it is just encouragement from some of them, am going to look at it like that from now on, but i also think from 1 or 2 ppl it is coming from a place of judgement. I know i can do it if i put in the hard work and worked harder at the gym i would just rather eat kfc and lounge in front of the tv than diet and spend more time at the gym...


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