# Is BBW the most PC term?



## patmcf (Apr 26, 2010)

In the past year I have been very open about my preference for BBW's. Friends, family, and skinny suitors are all aware of what has become an exclusive preference. Its what I am, its what I like and I am happy with it. As I am just now having the pleasure of dating BBW's, I have much to learn. My first question is what do prefer to be called? I know labeling someone isn't necessarily the most positive thing, however, I find it difficult to avoid this when size is what I am attracted to. A follow up question would be: is it alright to tell a girl I am attracted to her because of her size?

Thanks.


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## spiritangel (Apr 26, 2010)

Amanda , cause thats my name so I preffer to be called by that

I have no problem with the fact I am considered an SSBBW, I am comfortable in my own skin and owning the fact I am fat, 

Still preffer to be thought of as myself though rather than a label but that could just be me


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## Keb (Apr 26, 2010)

Personally, I'd rather be told I'm beautiful as opposed to being told my size is attractive. There are other women my size, and I've got nothing against them, but if someone is courting me, I'd prefer to be the only woman on his mind. So...while it's fine to like her size, like HER first, last, and above all else. The whole thing. The brain, the voice, the bod, the moves. I'm not just a BBW. I'm Keb. If all that attracts you to me is my size, then what happens if I get smaller/bigger? What happens if a more bountiful woman walks in? Granted, I'm probably somewhat insecure, but...I'd rather be one of a kind. My size is part of who I am, but it's far from the whole picture.


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## spiritangel (Apr 27, 2010)

Keb said:


> Personally, I'd rather be told I'm beautiful as opposed to being told my size is attractive. There are other women my size, and I've got nothing against them, but if someone is courting me, I'd prefer to be the only woman on his mind. So...while it's fine to like her size, like HER first, last, and above all else. The whole thing. The brain, the voice, the bod, the moves. I'm not just a BBW. I'm Keb. If all that attracts you to me is my size, then what happens if I get smaller/bigger? What happens if a more bountiful woman walks in? Granted, I'm probably somewhat insecure, but...I'd rather be one of a kind. My size is part of who I am, but it's far from the whole picture.



Here here well said,


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## Fallenangel2904 (Apr 27, 2010)

I agree first and foremost I want someone to like me for the person that I am above all. I don't want someone who is solely interested in my fat obviously, and not the person that comes with it. That goes with out saying. Lets face it though, people have preferences and physical attraction obviously plays a big part in what leads you to someone. If a person is- say attracted to red hair on a mate, its not to say that ALL red heads would do it for them, but it would be the physical attribute that would lead them to be interested in that person. 

I'm getting off the topic here, but anyway....when explaining your preference to people outside the BBW community the term BBW might be confusing for some. I would just say I'm attracted to bigger girls. Simple and to the point. You don't really have to label it as liking BBW. BBW, Big Girls, Curvy, Voluptuous...all good terms to use. I know may of us have had the word fat used in a derogatory way over the years, and there is this almost fear to use it in reference to being big by a lot of people. Quite frankly until I got into the size acceptance community I HATED the word fat, but I openly call myself fat these days- and in a good way. Our society spends so much time hyping the word up, I feel like we shouldn't make it a negative word- but that's just me. So referring to myself as a fat chick. fatty girl etc are terms I openly use, but wouldn't recommend that unless you are sure someone is okay with it honestly. 

As far as telling someone you are attracted to them because of their size- depends on how you approach that. Not all big girls are accepting of themselves. Sadly the positivity that alot of the woman on this board show about their size isn't how everyone feels who is fat. I know before i got into the BBW scene I didn't even know there was a preference for bigger woman by a lot of men quite honestly. Regardless, just be honest about what you like. As long as you don't approach it in a creepy way that might put someone off I think its fine to make it known. Like I said its a preference. Some like red heads, some like big girls lol 

Seems like your very open about your preference to others which is awesome and I commend you on that!


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## Keb (Apr 27, 2010)

I loaned my sweater to an 11yo girl a couple weeks ago. I noted it might be large, but it'd warm her up. She asked if I'd be offended if she said I was bigger than her. It made me grin; why should I be offended by something that's pretty darn obvious? (She also said she loves my bear hugs. Love that kid.)

Still, when it comes to romance, I'm going to assume if you've asked me out that my body is not unattractive to you. So tell me about everything else. Ask me about everything else! Isn't that what it's about? Getting to know another person?


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## Adrian (Apr 27, 2010)

About a month ago I was talking to a doctor about my wife, I referred to her as a "BBW". He asked, "what is a BBW?" To which I responded, "it stands for Big Beautiful Woman." He just nodded for he then understood I have a real preference for large women, for I said it with emphasis and pride!


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## LovelyLiz (Apr 27, 2010)

I feel like BBW can be kind of an "in" term for people on the inside of various fat communities. In that way, it makes me feel a little like a weirdo...like there's this special term for me that's ambiguous and in code because heaven forbid we talk about me being a fat woman, or about other fat women, in a straightforward way. 

For the sake of clarity, and also so I don't feel like I'm some kind of "specialized" woman only certain "specialized" men can be attracted to, I like to be referred to in as obvious and normal terms as possible. Saying anything like "big girls", "larger women", "fuller figured women", whatever - those are just normal ways of saying that you dig the fat women and it gets the point across easily without having to speak in weird code words.


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## bigjayne66 (Apr 27, 2010)

Folks can label me as they think fit as long as it is not insulting...
I also prefer guys who love the softness and sensuality that a large lady has to offer but also is prepared to see through the fat too and look at the whole picture.


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## spiritangel (Apr 27, 2010)

Keb said:


> I loaned my sweater to an 11yo girl a couple weeks ago. I noted it might be large, but it'd warm her up. She asked if I'd be offended if she said I was bigger than her. It made me grin; why should I be offended by something that's pretty darn obvious? (She also said she loves my bear hugs. Love that kid.)
> 
> Still, when it comes to romance, I'm going to assume if you've asked me out that my body is not unattractive to you. So tell me about everything else. Ask me about everything else! Isn't that what it's about? Getting to know another person?




I did a fairy party for a friends daughter (was an awesome party) and was half expecting some of those things that we know kids cant help saying what stunned me was how many of the girls told me how beautiful I was, totally made all the work for the party well worth it


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## truebebeblue (Apr 27, 2010)

patmcf said:


> In the past year I have been very open about my preference for BBW's. Friends, family, and skinny suitors are all aware of what has become an exclusive preference. Its what I am, its what I like and I am happy with it. As I am just now having the pleasure of dating BBW's, I have much to learn. My first question is what do prefer to be called? I know labeling someone isn't necessarily the most positive thing, however, I find it difficult to avoid this when size is what I am attracted to. A follow up question would be: is it alright to tell a girl I am attracted to her because of her size?
> 
> Thanks.




Surely her size is not ALL you are attracted to right?
Make sure if you are telling her the reasons you like her that you sandwich the size/shape of her in between less shallow qualities. If her fatness IS the only determining factor you should tell her. Appearance alone gives very little foothold for a relationship and she should be able to make the decision if she wants to date someone solely interested in her size.

I personally would make a quick exit and be irritated,I find the idea offensive.

I also HATE the term BBW.... I think its awkward and not always accurate.
I prefer fat but I have a pretty thick skin and confidence level.


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## LoveBHMS (Apr 27, 2010)

truebebeblue said:


> Surely her size is not ALL you are attracted to right?
> Make sure if you are telling her the reasons you like her that you sandwich the size/shape of her in *between less shallow qualities*. If her fatness IS the only determining factor you should tell her. Appearance alone gives very little foothold for a relationship and she should be able to make the decision if she wants to date someone solely interested in her size.
> 
> I personally would make a quick exit and be irritated,I find the idea offensive.
> ...



i honestly don't think it's fair to say it's a 'shallow quality' or that liking somebody's size or shape is shallow. It is part of who we are. As posted above, no FA likes _every_ fat woman or man, but it is probably going to be the first or one of the first things somebody notices.

i don't think semantics are tremendously important. i personally say "chubby chaser" which everyone understands, or just "fat guys". Nobody knows what "BHM" means so i don't use it outside the community.


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## Tooz (Apr 27, 2010)

Call me a BBW and you'll get snark. I think it is an incredibly idiotic term. I am not "curvy," "big," or "large," I am fat, just like I am tall. Down with euphemisms.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Apr 27, 2010)

If there's a single main idea running through these posts, it's that different people react differently to different terms. Duh.  But remember that conversation is only _partly_ about expressing your feelings; a lot more of it is about bonding with another person, and it helps to consider what you want to say from the point of view of the person you're talking to. If the lady is beautiful, every guy she's ever dated has told her so; _you_ tell her she's smart, or funny, and she'll realize you appreciate her. If she's a rocket scientist, don't tell her she's bright; she knows that. Tell her she's pretty, or compassionate, or principled. In other words: don't go for the obvious; talk up some of her other good points.

P.S. You are allowed to enthuse over specific body parts AFTER you have met her parents (but not in front of them).


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## Webmaster (Apr 27, 2010)

As many know, the terms "BBW" and "Big Beautiful Woman" were coined by the late Carole Shaw (though there are claims of earlier use) who used, and trademarked, them for her BBW magazine that she started in 1979. I bought the magazine and trademarks in 1998 (see here) and published it for several more years. The terms gained wide acceptance and so, unlike Carole, I never enforced the trademarks, though it did bother me that the porn industry for a while appropriated them as just another genre/category. As is, I think it's a much better term than "FA" and so I am not surprised that many choose to use it.


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## orin (Apr 27, 2010)

I think the term BBW is overused .... when i see a bountiful woman i am attracted to i never use any terms referring to her size. When it comes to beauty I prefer bigger women, but I do not think there is a difference between a smaller woman and bigger womans beauty really ... beauty is beauty.

BUT BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMEN ... from my understand is meant to refer to a woman of size that is ACTUALLY ATTRACTIVE ... not just any woman of size. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 

For me it is much more than just having size, it is shape, prettyness and how she carries herself that helps me to classify her as an actual BBW.


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## stan_der_man (Apr 27, 2010)

Webmaster said:


> As many know, the terms "BBW" and "Big Beautiful Woman" were coined by the late Carole Shaw (though there are claims of earlier use) who used, and trademarked, them for her BBW magazine that she started in 1979. I bought the magazine and trademarks in 1998 (see here) and published it for several more years. The terms gained wide acceptance and so, unlike Carole, I never enforced the trademarks, though it did bother me that the porn industry for a while appropriated them as just another genre/category. As is, I think it's a much better term than "FA" and so I am not surprised that many choose to use it.



You would be amazed Conrad, many of the younger people have no idea where the term "BBW" came from. Even if you attempted to enforce your trademark on the term "BBW", court precedent regarding words that become popular terminology such as "xeroxing" (from Xerox) and "tivo-ing" (from Tivo) have been ruled fair game to be used in certain circumstances without the need to seek permission from the trademark holder. Besides, since the days of Carole Shaw being publisher, BBW Magazine has faded into obscurity, very few of the younger people know that there used to be a printed version of "BBW Magazine", let alone that you still maintain a website of said name. Seriously.


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## patmcf (Apr 27, 2010)

truebebeblue said:


> Surely her size is not ALL you are attracted to right?
> Make sure if you are telling her the reasons you like her that you sandwich the size/shape of her in between less shallow qualities. If her fatness IS the only determining factor you should tell her. Appearance alone gives very little foothold for a relationship and she should be able to make the decision if she wants to date someone solely interested in her size.
> 
> I personally would make a quick exit and be irritated,I find the idea offensive.
> ...



Yeaah. I really don't think liking someone because of their appearance is "shallow." I also wasn't really making the point that the only reason I want to be with a woman is because of her size. Ideally, I want a woman who I have a strong emotional connection with and who I also feel attracted to.


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## mossystate (Apr 27, 2010)

Hate the term BBW. It is cheesy, and not in a good way.


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## Webmaster (Apr 27, 2010)

Oh, I am fully aware of that and simply wanted to offer some historic background. Carole did enforce the trademark, but I never had any intention (nor the resources) to. I published BBW Magazine between 1999 and 2003, so the magazine hasn't existed in seven years, though the website is still up. I wish we had generated full PDFs of each issue as, fashions aside, they contained a lot of material that remains as relevant today as it was when the mags were created. 




stan_der_man said:


> You would be amazed Conrad, many of the younger people have no idea where the term "BBW" came from. Even if you attempted to enforce your trademark on the term "BBW", court precedent regarding words that become popular terminology such as "xeroxing" (from Xerox) and "tivo-ing" (from Tivo) have been ruled fair game to be used in certain circumstances without the need to seek permission from the trademark holder. Besides, since the days of Carole Shaw being publisher, BBW Magazine has faded into obscurity, very few of the younger people know that there used to be a printed version of "BBW Magazine", let alone that you still maintain a website of said name. Seriously.


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## disconnectedsmile (Apr 27, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Saying anything like "big girls", "larger women", "fuller figured women", whatever - those are just normal ways of saying that you dig the fat women and it gets the point across easily without having to speak in weird code words.



when the topic of preference comes up, i just tell people i like fat girls.


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## LovelyLiz (Apr 27, 2010)

disconnectedsmile said:


> when the topic of preference comes up, i just tell people i like fat girls.



very clear. i can dig it.


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## gobettiepurple (Apr 27, 2010)

*I prefer being called Round. I think Fat has such a negative connotation in today's society. I also enjoy being called pleasantly plump, but only amongst friends . . . lol. I just personally don't like BBW. but whatever, you can't always be PC! *


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## disconnectedsmile (Apr 27, 2010)

gobettiepurple said:


> *I prefer being called Round. I think Fat has such a negative connotation in today's society.*


fat is only a hurtful word if you let it be hurtful.
fat is no more harmful than the words "bald," "old," "pale" or "short."
fat is an adjective, and a beautiful one at that.


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## orin (Apr 27, 2010)

disconnectedsmile said:


> fat is only a hurtful word if you let it be hurtful.
> fat is no more harmful than the words "bald," "old," "pale" or "short."
> fat is an adjective, and a beautiful one at that.



awesome response ....

your avatar creeps me out a bit ....


but i like that ...


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## gobettiepurple (Apr 27, 2010)

*is not my preferred term. But you are right, words only have as much power as we give them.*


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## stan_der_man (Apr 27, 2010)

Webmaster said:


> Oh, I am fully aware of that and simply wanted to offer some historic background. Carole did enforce the trademark, but I never had any intention (nor the resources) to. I published BBW Magazine between 1999 and 2003, so the magazine hasn't existed in seven years, though the website is still up. I wish we had generated full PDFs of each issue as, fashions aside, they contained a lot of material that remains as relevant today as it was when the mags were created.



I know this is bit of a thread derail, but I've been wondering this for a while...

Maybe I'm naive of how the magazine business works, but I would think you are sitting on a potential gold mine here owning the copyright to BBW Magazine? I imagine you have decent advertisement revenue income from BBW Magazine Online in it's current form and all, but why haven't you promoted BBW Magazine more, or reworked some of the fabulous material that was in the original magazine? You have instant name recognition with BBW Magazine, I do believe it was an internationally known magazine back when it first came out... certainly nationally known here in the United States. The porn industry may be appropriating the term or "category" of BBW, but you could probably assert your copyrights over other magazines that specifically use the term BBW in their name. I know this is easier said than done, and legal action is always expensive, and doesn't necessarily bring a worthwhile result. But seriously, there are so many people here on Dims and elsewhere that would more than likely be eager to contribute to a renewed version of BBW Magazine, who are creative and motivated to do so. You don't need PDFs of old material Conrad... create new material, or have a group of volunteers create new material. BBW Magazine could be a center piece in promoting pride for being a large sized woman and promoting a positive image for those who appreciate large sized people as it once was. (Or see if you can get volunteers to scan old copies of BBW Mag and offer them as free downloads for iPads / computers just to see how much potential interest there might be...? You might be able to get some free press coverage doing such a thing...? ) I know that BBW Magazine Online is technically a continuation of the printed BBW Magazine, but it's been forgotten, at least it's not as well known as it was, certainly by the young generation. BBW Magazine would be a lot easier to go mainstream than a renewed Dimensions Magazine, thus having a potentially greater audience. I may be blowing sunshine here, but I personally think that BBW Magazine has a hell of a lot more potential than what is presently being done, potential not only for influencing society and promoting pride, but also financial success for you and BBW Magazine (whether it be in print or electronic... perhaps one of the first electronic mags for the iPad sold through Apple...?) I know I can be your worse critic at times Conrad, but I just think there is so much potential here for you and many others. I'm curious as to your take on this...


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## CastingPearls (Apr 27, 2010)

BBW is okay with me and is becoming far more common, ie: a lot less requests for a definition. Plus a lot of people I speak with are relieved there is an actual lingo especially for textspeak, social networking and emails. My Indian-born internist was delighted with the term and jotted it down in her notebook of American-isms. 

Most of the other descriptives are harmless to me although I think 'fluffy' is too cutesy and dances on the edge of nauseating. 

For me a lot of it is more about the sentiment behind the word and the class or charm of the person using it.


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## KittyKitten (Apr 27, 2010)

I like the word 'voluptuous' or 'thick mamasota'. It just sounds juicy.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 27, 2010)

happyface83 said:


> I like the word 'voluptuous' or 'thick mamasota'. It just sounds juicy.


Voluptuous is always a winner.


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Apr 27, 2010)

The term BBW is what it is. I like it!

I would never tell a woman (or suggest to her) that the only reason or the main reason I was attracted to her was her size. I would hope to be attracted to the whole package, just like I would not want someone to be attracted to me only or mainly because I am a black man.


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## hal84 (Apr 27, 2010)

It's not what you call, it's what you answer to that makes all the difference.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 27, 2010)

Personally, I like Your Majesty. That works for me.


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## kayrae (Apr 28, 2010)

I prefer to be called fat. But sure, I'll use the acronyms.


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## Webmaster (Apr 28, 2010)

These are good contemplations, Stan, and I can tell you what my take on it is. What you describe is exactly why I did not let BBW die back in 1998. I saw all of its potential and I could not stand the thought that it would be permanently gone. I felt it was a great opportunity to spread the word of size acceptance to all those millions of plus-sized women who were not reached by NAAFA and traditional size acceptance groups.

So we published BBW for four more years. I bought it very much against the objections of my accountant who pointed out that BBW had never made a profit, and that it most likely never would because advertisers simply do not support plus-size in any meaningful way. I took it on anyway, and Sally and her crew created four years' worth of truly excellent magazines. But advertising revenue was almost non-existent and BBW was essentially subsidized by my tech publications and me personally. In its current form, BBW essentially is a compilation of old but timeless content. Whatever ad revenue it generates is negligible and pays some of the interest in lingering debts. It wouldn't be enough to pay a fraction of today's health insurance for one single person, let alone compensation.

I know how to do magazines, but doing print magazines is no longer a feasible thing to do. Yes, there seem as many print mags on the newsstands as ever, and I have no clue how they do it as print ad revenue is essentially gone. Magazines, even old and traditional ones, are closing every week. They simply go away, even when they have a credible web presence. No one picks them up, even for free. Media has simply changed forever. 

I got out of the print business in 2005 when ever dwindling ad revenue simply made the $60,000 print bills for each issue of a tech mag (we usually printed about 100,000 copies), plus the cost of mailing and distribution, plus then simply throwing away the copies that did not sell on newsstands made print unfeasible (and, given the giant waste, really unconscionable). There's still print, but look at all the newspapers closing and the general uncertainty as to where media is headed.

Yes, a new BBW would probably get media coverage, some old content never goes out of style, new content can be created, and there'd be distribution channels via the current odd mix of online venues ranging from slick web presences to all those dozens of intermixed social media, etc. Yet, quality content is never cheap, and creating something, anything, is time-consuming. 

The question then becomes what sets media as we knew it apart from the myriads of blogs and FB pages and clubs. Does it actually still make sense to create a branded media project? Part of the allure of magazines used to be that they were all glitzy and elegant and professionally done, showing a perfect world in perfect pictures and prose. That does not come cheap. Today, you can get all the words and all the pics and all the advice and whatever else you want online, in one way or another. 

Problem is, no one knows anymore what we want and need. Print is still around. I subscribe to perhaps a dozen magazines, but they get thinner and thinner, and there are fewer and fewer ads to support them (as evidenced by the fact that by now even serious publications accept ever more dubious ads). All have an online presence that probably costs them plenty, but I hardly ever go to their websites and I don't think any magazine websites are a big success. 

So perhaps it's all a part of the ongoing democratization of information dissemination process that we've been seeing over the past decade. Information dissemination has ceased to be a costly exclusive, hence the price of information has crashed so much that it's hardly feasible anymore to do it for a living. There will undoubtedly emerge new ways to somehow make media feasible, but there isn't one now (when I look at some tech webpages, they are now 5% information and 95% ads, where-to-buy, commercial links, social media links, comments, more ads and then a few more ads). What's left are niche markets where old-media expertise remains marginally useful, and that's about it.

Could a BBW project as you describe it be created? As it once was, no, or at least not as anything but a subsidized vanity project (like the new Newsweek is for Bloomberg). As a volunteer project, conceivably, with extraordinary coordination effort and immense drive and political skills.

So that's how I see it now. 







stan_der_man said:


> I know this is bit of a thread derail, but I've been wondering this for a while...
> 
> Maybe I'm naive of how the magazine business works, but I would think you are sitting on a potential gold mine here owning the copyright to BBW Magazine? I imagine you have decent advertisement revenue income from BBW Magazine Online in it's current form and all, but why haven't you promoted BBW Magazine more, or reworked some of the fabulous material that was in the original magazine? You have instant name recognition with BBW Magazine, I do believe it was an internationally known magazine back when it first came out... certainly nationally known here in the United States. The porn industry may be appropriating the term or "category" of BBW, but you could probably assert your copyrights over other magazines that specifically use the term BBW in their name. I know this is easier said than done, and legal action is always expensive, and doesn't necessarily bring a worthwhile result. But seriously, there are so many people here on Dims and elsewhere that would more than likely be eager to contribute to a renewed version of BBW Magazine, who are creative and motivated to do so. You don't need PDFs of old material Conrad... create new material, or have a group of volunteers create new material. BBW Magazine could be a center piece in promoting pride for being a large sized woman and promoting a positive image for those who appreciate large sized people as it once was. (Or see if you can get volunteers to scan old copies of BBW Mag and offer them as free downloads for iPads / computers just to see how much potential interest there might be...? You might be able to get some free press coverage doing such a thing...? ) I know that BBW Magazine Online is technically a continuation of the printed BBW Magazine, but it's been forgotten, at least it's not as well known as it was, certainly by the young generation. BBW Magazine would be a lot easier to go mainstream than a renewed Dimensions Magazine, thus having a potentially greater audience. I may be blowing sunshine here, but I personally think that BBW Magazine has a hell of a lot more potential than what is presently being done, potential not only for influencing society and promoting pride, but also financial success for you and BBW Magazine (whether it be in print or electronic... perhaps one of the first electronic mags for the iPad sold through Apple...?) I know I can be your worse critic at times Conrad, but I just think there is so much potential here for you and many others. I'm curious as to your take on this...


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## CPProp (Apr 28, 2010)

when asked tend to say holdsome women - this usually has the response don't you mean wholesome - reply - no I like women that have plenty to get hold of .


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## truebebeblue (Apr 29, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> i honestly don't think it's fair to say it's a 'shallow quality' or that liking somebody's size or shape is shallow. It is part of who we are. As posted above, no FA likes _every_ fat woman or man, but it is probably going to be the first or one of the first things somebody notices.
> .



Beauty is only skin deep... in every physical variety.

if someone said "like you because you are skinny/fat/have huge boobs/are a blonde/black/other purely physical trait" I would think they were weird and shallow or one handed typing(lol).
He didn't ask if it was okay to mention he liked her size,he asked if it was okay to say he was attracted to her BECAUSE of her size. 
That's why I gave the two options of my opinion. 

I know it took me a long time to realize that FAs can be and are often times just as shallow as men who like supermodels.It's just a different slant on what they desire. 

Not saying the OP is shallow,I see he followed up and said he wasn't just looking a fat girls shell...that's awesome.

True


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## SuperSizedAngie (Apr 29, 2010)

I like the term BBW, but then again I can't remember a time when those three words didn't describe me.


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## DreamyInToronto (Apr 29, 2010)

patmcf said:


> In the past year I have been very open about my preference for BBW's. Friends, family, and skinny suitors are all aware of what has become an exclusive preference. Its what I am, its what I like and I am happy with it. As I am just now having the pleasure of dating BBW's, I have much to learn. My first question is what do prefer to be called? I know labeling someone isn't necessarily the most positive thing, however, I find it difficult to avoid this when size is what I am attracted to. A follow up question would be: is it alright to tell a girl I am attracted to her because of her size?
> 
> Thanks.



patmcf, please marry me!!! :bow:

xoxoxox


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## Lovelyone (Apr 30, 2010)

I prefer to be referred to by my name Terri. If it comes up and you have to describe my size I prefer to be described as plus-sized. (or super plus-sized if that tickles your fancy). I'm not thrilled about the term BBW cos not all women fit that term. I use ssbbw as a descriptor of my size in this forum and at dances or when I am talking to people who might know the term--but I rarely use it in everyday language with people who wouldn't have a clue of what it means. 
As we've seen from this thread, "BBW" can encompass many different meanings, but if you say to someone "My girlfriend/boyfriend is plus-sized" they seem better to have an understanding that you aren't going to be bringing an average sized person to the party.


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## willowmoon (Apr 30, 2010)

I guess I have a mixed take on the term "BBW." Sometimes to me it comes across as the same connotation as a porno/sex term, much like MILF, S&M, BDSM, etc, etc, ad nauseam. However, I do like the meaning of the initials "BBW", and that makes perfect sense to me, as I'm typically not attracted to rail-thin women.


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## LoveBHMS (Apr 30, 2010)

willowmoon said:


> I guess I have a mixed take on the term "BBW." Sometimes to me it comes across as the same connotation as a porno/sex term, much like MILF, S&M, BDSM, etc, etc, ad nauseam. However, I do like the meaning of the initials "BBW", and that makes perfect sense to me, as I'm typically not attracted to rail-thin women.



i don't think porno and sex have the same meaning, necessarily. But even so, nothing wrong with using a term denotative of sexuality--that is what "gay" or "lesbian" is. i used the term "MILF" when i had a partner with a sexual fetish for older women, i said i was with a "MILF Hunter". While sexual activity and behavior are of course private matters, sexual preference and orientation can, i think, be discussed in public.


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## exile in thighville (Apr 30, 2010)

i'm just fat(tm)


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## willowmoon (Apr 30, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> i don't think porno and sex have the same meaning, necessarily. But even so, nothing wrong with using a term denotative of sexuality--that is what "gay" or "lesbian" is. i used the term "MILF" when i had a partner with a sexual fetish for older women, i said i was with a "MILF Hunter". While sexual activity and behavior are of course private matters, sexual preference and orientation can, i think, be discussed in public.



Well said, and I prob'ly shouldn't have linked porn & sex together like that. Sometimes I'm a [email protected]$$.


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## KittyKitten (May 1, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> i don't think porno and sex have the same meaning, necessarily. But even so, nothing wrong with using a term denotative of sexuality--that is what "gay" or "lesbian" is. i used the term "MILF" when i had a partner with a sexual fetish for older women, i said i was with a "MILF Hunter". While sexual activity and behavior are of course private matters, sexual preference and orientation can, i think, be discussed in public.



The term MILF makes me throw up. I've seen it's variations. I've also seen PILF--President I'd Like to F.


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## LoveBHMS (May 1, 2010)

happyface83 said:


> The term MILF makes me throw up. I've seen it's variations. I've also seen PILF--President I'd Like to F.



i said i used it, not that anyone else should. i do want to say that i consider it a _fairly_ mainstream term, and i think if somebody chooses to, he can use his sexuality to at least partly define himself. Some gays or lesbians will put rainbow stickers on their cars, or FAs will wear "Fat Chicks Only" t-shirts. If somebody chooses to do that, it is up to them. One of the best things i read on this site was the idea that being an FA is "not common but it is normal". There have been discussions about how "out" FAs want to be and whether or not they choose to be proactive in stating their preference. In the case of my former partner, he had a fetish that was "normal" but as with FA, something that would be very obvious to anyone around him as it was clear he was with women many years older than himself. We both had no problem using a term that basically stated the obvious but that gave him a chance to own his sexuality.

There is really no need to be so rude about it.


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## luscious_lulu (May 1, 2010)

disconnectedsmile said:


> fat is only a hurtful word if you let it be hurtful.
> fat is no more harmful than the words "bald," "old," "pale" or "short."
> fat is an adjective, and a beautiful one at that.



I understand why gobettiepurple feels that way. Growing up being told fat is a bad thing, can skew your perception of the word. Depending on how the word is used it can be offensive. Don't be so quick to dismiss her feelings on the word.


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## gobettiepurple (May 1, 2010)

*Thanks lulu! I would rep you but I am out of reps! *


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## Lamia (May 2, 2010)

Fat or BBW it's all good. I don't have a problem being called either. I prefer the term "squishy".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDOhFIX3sWE


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## SuperSizedAngie (May 2, 2010)

Lamia said:


> Fat or BBW it's all good. I don't have a problem being called either. I prefer the term "squishy".






Squishy is very nice. One of the terms my friends and I generally like is "cuddly"


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## KittyKitten (May 2, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> There is really no need to be so rude about it.



Take no offense, I wasn't trying to be rude to you in particular. You didn't do anything to me.


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## patmcf (May 2, 2010)

DreamyInToronto said:


> patmcf, please marry me!!! :bow:
> 
> xoxoxox



I am tempted, considering you have an Uncle Buck quote in your profile


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## patmcf (May 2, 2010)

I want to say that I really appreciate everyone's response to this. Usually when I ask questions such as these the answer invariably returns to subjectivity. What you wish to be called is a personal thing - some will prefer the term BBW and some will not. 

I think sexuality is especially interesting because so many of us (including myself) feel the need to label it in some way or another. I personally do not think skinny women are as attractive as larger women. Consequently, I feel the need to try and define this attraction. That is partially the reason why I asked for the appropriate term. When the subject of sexual preference comes up I will confidently say I am all about BBW's.


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## CastingPearls (May 2, 2010)

patmcf said:


> I want to say that I really appreciate everyone's response to this. Usually when I ask questions such as these the answer invariably returns to subjectivity. What you wish to be called is a personal thing - some will prefer the term BBW and some will not.
> 
> I think sexuality is especially interesting because so many of us (including myself) feel the need to label it in some way or another. I personally do not think skinny women are as attractive as larger women. Consequently, I feel the need to try and define this attraction. That is partially the reason why I asked for the appropriate term. When the subject of sexual preference comes up I will confidently say I am all about BBW's.


My husband is similar. He's very analytical and requires concrete ideas, definitions and terms to fully grasp some concepts and topics.


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## ErrataStigmata (May 3, 2010)

I think a lot of it is how you explain to her that you're attracted to her weight. Simply saying "I'm into BBWs," while it's never been a turn off to me specifically, is a generic compliment. It's like saying to someone "I like blonde hair," rather than "I like your blonde hair." The compliments that have meant the most to me have been personal--"I love your specific curves and shape, I love your softness, etc." We're like any other women, we'd be much happy with a genuine, thoughtful compliment than a blanket term any day.


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## LoveBHMS (May 3, 2010)

ErrataStigmata said:


> I think a lot of it is how you explain to her that you're attracted to her weight. Simply saying "I'm into BBWs," while it's never been a turn off to me specifically, is a generic compliment. It's like saying to someone "I like blonde hair," rather than "I like your blonde hair." The compliments that have meant the most to me have been personal--"I love your specific curves and shape, I love your softness, etc." We're like any other women, we'd be much happy with a genuine, thoughtful compliment than a blanket term any day.



One thing about this, and i found it when i was seeing the aforementioned MILF Hunter. if somebody is into something unusual or an aspect about which somebody might be self conscious, i think it's nice to mention the generic aspect of it because it removes any unease you may have with a situation. 

The MILF Hunter had made an effort to let me know he was attracted to older women. We met when i was between jobs and working as a temp. While we were getting to know each other he'd make comments like "oh i went out on this job and the customer was this hot 50 year old" or he'd ask if i wanted to see a picture of a woman he'd hooked up with and show me a photo of an obviously older female. I think if he hadn't done that and just come on to me outright, i'd have been thinking "are you serious? i'm more than ten years older than you" or "is this a joke?" or even just thought "oh sure he's flirting but clearly when a 20 year old comes around he's going to want to be with her." By letting me know up front what his preference was, i was not self conscious at all.

If you're into fat guys, you're aware they might not like being fat or have even been criticized by a partner for their weight, or feel they are not desirable. Some will feel a partner will, at best, be willing to overlook or accept their weight. By saying "That's what turns me on" you eliminate all of that.


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