# Looking For Feeders And Feedees



## Leah33 (Oct 16, 2006)

Hi all. I am a producer working on "The Dr. Keith Ablow Show." Dr. Keith is a forensic psychiatrist, who has been in private practice for over 29
years. He is the author of several best-selling books including, Inside
the Mind of Scott Peterson and has appeared as a recurring guest on
numerous television shows including Good Morning America, Court TV, Oprah,and Larry King. Dr. Keith now has his own nationally syndicated daytime talk show, which premiered on Monday, September 11th.

Since recently discovering the community of feeder's and dimensions magazine, it got me thinking. The public is not aware of this lifestyle and I would LOVE to do a show focusing on the support and lifestyle of feeders. I find it absolutely fascinating and courageous. In the thin world of media and entertainment, I applaud you for what you do. If you are interested in appearing on this show, or if you have any further questions, please call me toll free 888-372-2569 ext 4279.

Be sure to check out our website at drkeith.warnerbros.com


-- 
Leah Kaplan
Associate Producer
The Dr. Keith Ablow Show
1325 Avenue of the Americas
30th Floor
New York, NY 10019
(212) 506-4279
[email protected]


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## AnnMarie (Oct 16, 2006)

Just to be clear, the Weight Board of this forum (Dimensions) is only one aspect of it... there's a common misconception from the outside that everyone here is a feedee/feeder, simply not the case. 

Also, this post may not be well-received due to many past run-ins with the press who want to do an "interesting, thought-provoking" piece which turns into nothing but a people zoo, modern-day freak show once it's time for air date. 

We're (seasoned fat girls and guys who dig 'em, etc.) a suspicious bunch after years of being burned by empty promises at the expense of our dignity.


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## Gordo Mejor (Oct 16, 2006)

Leah33 said:


> psychiatrist,
> author of several best-selling books including, “Inside the Mind of Scott Peterson”,
> daytime talk show...




Where have we seen this before?


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## Renaissance Woman (Oct 16, 2006)

Note it's not about size acceptance or discrimination fat people face or unrealistic standards of beauty created by the media--it's straight to the "feeder/feedee lifestyle." Yeah, completely "thought provoking" and not in any way exploitative. 

And since when did a career in forensic psychiatry prepare somebody to be a tv talkshow host? And how does it help here? Is he going to delve into the psyche of feeders/feedees once they're dead? Or just assume a bunch of stuff about their personality makeup when they won't go on the show?


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## SamanthaNY (Oct 16, 2006)

Leah33 said:


> The public is not aware of this lifestyle...
> I would LOVE to do a show focusing on the support and lifestyle of feeders.
> I find it absolutely fascinating and courageous.
> In the thin world of media and entertainment, I applaud you for what you do.


the _support_? 
_fascinating _and _courageous_?
_applaud _what [they] do?

Hinky. I get the feeling she's not sure what the topic is really about. 

My prediction: public attention would spell disaster, in many ways.


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## MisticalMisty (Oct 16, 2006)

I just got a pm from this lady. I told her it's not a wise decision to assume anyone is a feeder and wants to be involved with such a project. Check your pm boxes ladies and gents


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## Leah33 (Oct 16, 2006)

I understand why you would be skeptical about the topic of this show. I can assure you that this wouldn't be any kind of "freak show." If you have seen our show, Dr. Keith is doing a series of "Inside the Mind Of..." We already did the opposite end of this, with a show on "Inside the Mind of Anorexics." We truely want to eduacte the public about the lifestyle of feeders/foodie's, the support from your community, and about size acceptance.

I respect you for not wanting to come on the show. But for anyone interested, you know where to find me.

Leah


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## altered states (Oct 16, 2006)

Has anyone checked out the website? He's having John Mark Karr and Nick Carter on in the same week. That's pretty fucking wild.


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## Ample Pie (Oct 16, 2006)

my gimmick sense is tingling.


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## AnnMarie (Oct 16, 2006)

tres huevos said:


> Has anyone checked out the website? He's having John Mark Karr and Nick Carter on in the same week. That's pretty fucking wild.



Yeah, was actually on some "news" program last night that the attorney for Karr is claiming they (the show) got him (Karr) drunk prior to the interview - Dr. A denies that. 

*shakes head*


**edit because it may just be the most confusing sentence ever constructed**


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## altered states (Oct 16, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> Yeah, was actually on some "news" program last night that the attorney for Karr is claiming they (the show) got him drunk prior to the interview - Dr. A denies that.
> 
> *shakes head*



"Welcome to the Ablow Show. First up tonight, John Mark Karr and Scott Peterson. Then Nick Carter will sing a song for us. And after that, a positive and nonexploitive look into the online world of feeders and feedees..."

I, for one, can't wait.


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## Jes (Oct 16, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> Also, this post may not be well-received due to many past run-ins with the press who want to do an "interesting, thought-provoking" piece which turns into nothing but a people zoo, modern-day freak show once it's time for air date.
> .


Imaging me saying, from under a burlap bag over my head: "I am not an animal!"


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## Jes (Oct 16, 2006)

Leah33 said:


> I understand why you would be skeptical about the topic of this show. I can assure you that this wouldn't be any kind of "freak show." If you have seen our show, Dr. Keith is doing a series of "Inside the Mind Of..." We already did the opposite end of this, with a show on "Inside the Mind of Anorexics." We truely want to eduacte the public about the lifestyle of feeders/foodie's, the support from your community, and about size acceptance.
> 
> I respect you for not wanting to come on the show. But for anyone interested, you know where to find me.
> 
> Leah


foodie's whats? or was that just foodies?


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## activistfatgirl (Oct 16, 2006)

Is it a free-for-all yet, or do I have to wait? Cmon!

*tugs on the sleeve of an invisible majority and whines*

I wanna hiiiiiiiiiijack.....


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## activistfatgirl (Oct 16, 2006)

Click this link for a story entitled, "Seal Bit Woman's Nose Off" and because I like this community, I'll note it includes a picture. Animals can be scary business.


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 17, 2006)

Leah33 said:


> I understand why you would be skeptical about the topic of this show. I can assure you that this wouldn't be any kind of "freak show." If you have seen our show, Dr. Keith is doing a series of "Inside the Mind Of..." We already did the opposite end of this, with a show on "Inside the Mind of Anorexics."



Are you fucking kidding me? INSIDE THE MIND OF??? Are you insinuating that we're abnormal? That Dimensions folk should be eating their meals in rubber rooms instead of dining rooms?

Take your daytime talk show series and GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!


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## wavetank (Oct 17, 2006)

i'm gonna call. just to see what happens. more to report tomorrow.


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## FatAndProud (Oct 17, 2006)

So ghey.


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## charlieversion2 (Oct 17, 2006)

Well I just sent her an email about the whole shabang, I too will report when I hear about this. As someone who was approched by MTV's real life, I have my doubts.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Oct 17, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> Are you fucking kidding me? INSIDE THE MIND OF??? Are you insinuating that we're abnormal? That Dimensions folk should be eating their meals in rubber rooms instead of dining rooms?
> 
> Take your daytime talk show series and GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!



More importantly, there's an insinuation that feeders/feedees have eating disorders...

"Anorexics" (people suffering from anorexia nervosa; there's no group of people actually called that as it would be as rude as calling people with cancer "cancies" and forming someone's entire identity off a disease) are no more on the same spectrum with feedees than octopi are with pine cones. We're talking about a mental and physical illness vs. a sexual activity and/or lifestyle. 

It irritates me that anyone would think that anorexia is vaguely sexual or has anything to do with vanity, or that feederism is due to a mental problem. Compulsive overeating (COE) would be on the opposite end of the spectrum. FORCING or bullying your partner to overeat is a problem. There's a difference between choosing something and being too sick to realize or care about the consequences.


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## StrawberryShortcake (Oct 17, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> More importantly, there's an insinuation that feeders/feedees have eating disorders...
> 
> "Anorexics" (people suffering from anorexia nervosa; there's no group of people actually called that as it would be as rude as calling people with cancer "cancies" and forming someone's entire identity off a disease) are no more on the same spectrum with feedees than octopi are with pine cones. We're talking about a mental and physical illness vs. a sexual activity and/or lifestyle.
> 
> It irritates me that anyone would think that anorexia is vaguely sexual or has anything to do with vanity, or that feederism is due to a mental problem. Compulsive overeating (COE) would be on the opposite end of the spectrum. FORCING or bullying your partner to overeat is a problem. There's a difference between choosing something and being too sick to realize or care about the consequences.



I hear yah


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## SamanthaNY (Oct 17, 2006)

activistfatgirl said:


> Click this link for a story entitled, "Seal Bit Woman's Nose Off" and because I like this community, I'll note it includes a picture. Animals can be scary business.


First thought? Heidi Klum has got a real problem on her hands if her husband is biting other women.

Why read for comprehension? Assumptions are so much more fun. 

View attachment seal.jpg


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## Jes (Oct 17, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> That Dimensions folk should be eating their meals in rubber rooms instead of dining rooms?
> 
> !!


We should be eating our big, big, big, big sloppy meals inside of rubber rooms.


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## TONYS (Oct 17, 2006)

It appears to me that this would be a freak show to a degree, sensational, and with the attutudes in our society about fat to begin with imagine the response. Think of all the glares simply by being fat, living in a fat phobic world amplifiy that on a tv show with a room full of gawkers. Then add into it the psychiatric angle oooooohhhh boy. Reasearch is one thing a tv show is another.


Here is a little about forensic psychiatry. Forensic psychiatry is a branch of .medicine which focuses on the interface of law and mental health. It includes psychiatric consultation in a wide variety of legal matters (including expert testimony), as well as clinical work with perpetrators and victims. This web page focuses on forensic work with attorneys, courts, or other parties involved in actual or potential litigation.

What is a forensic psychiatrist? A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who has completed several years of additional training in the understanding, diagnosis, and treatment of mental disorders. A forensic psychiatrist is a psychiatrist who has additional training and/or experience related to the interface of mental health (or mental illness) and the law.

Is a forensic psychiatrist the same thing as a forensic psychologist? No. Psychiatrists are physicians with specialty training in the understanding, diagnosis, and treatment of mental disorders. This includes biological evaluations and treatments (such as laboratory tests and medications), psychotherapy, and family & social issues. Doctoral-level (e.g., Ph.D.) psychologists are professionals in their own right, and may have special expertise in topics not usually studied in detail by psychiatrists (such as psychological testing).

How is forensic psychiatry useful to the legal process? When legal matters involve issues outside lay expertise, lawyers and judges regularly seek consultation from professionals in a wide variety of fields, including medical specialties. Sometimes the expertise is sought in an effort to provide the best possible information to judges or juries, but there are many other situations in which a prudent attorney or other party may request consultation.

http://www.reidpsychiatry.com/reidfaq.html u can read more here.


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## activistfatgirl (Oct 17, 2006)

SamanthaNY said:


> First thought? Heidi Klum has got a real problem on her hands if her husband is biting other women.



This reminds me how one time Seal was doing a concert on my birthday and I wanted to go, but I decided against it cause I was only turning 23 and it seemed like the kind of show older adults go to. Like "Contemporary Adult" genre folks.

And what's up with his face?


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## altered states (Oct 17, 2006)

activistfatgirl said:


> This reminds me how one time Seal was doing a concert on my birthday and I wanted to go, but I decided against it cause I was only turning 23 and it seemed like the kind of show older adults go to. Like "Contemporary Adult" genre folks.
> 
> And what's up with his face?



What, you don't want to get "a little crazy" with the old folks? To sweeten the pot, I hear Rod Stewart might make an appearance.

He had lupus as a kid.


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## altered states (Oct 17, 2006)

Jes said:


> foodie's whats? or was that just foodies?



Give her a break. She's simultaneously posting solicitations on nambla.com and the grammar can get a bit sloppy.

I was thinking it should be Lance Bass rather than Nick Carter on the show, in case Leah is still reading. Just saying.


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## activistfatgirl (Oct 17, 2006)

tres huevos said:


> What, you don't want to get "a little crazy" with the old folks? To sweeten the pot, I hear Rod Stewart might make an appearance.
> 
> He had lupus as a kid.



I'm turning 27 next month. It's finally appropriate for me to go see Seal and Rod Stewart in concert, and I'm OK with that.


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## altered states (Oct 17, 2006)

activistfatgirl said:


> I'm turning 27 next month. It's finally appropriate for me to go see Seal and Rod Stewart in concert, and I'm OK with that.



Nonsense. Seal himself isn't old enough to go to one of his concerts.


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## activistfatgirl (Oct 17, 2006)

Ha Ha!

I forgot to mention: I'm looking for a date to the Seal concert. I want you to come with a big box of danishes and feed them to me during the show. I'll eat and eat and eat and eat until I explode!


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## altered states (Oct 17, 2006)

activistfatgirl said:


> Ha Ha!
> 
> I forgot to mention: I'm looking for a date to the Seal concert. I want you to come with a big box of danishes and feed them to me during the show. I'll eat and eat and eat and eat until I explode!



It would be a killer opening act, I'll give you that.


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## TONYS (Oct 18, 2006)

I made contact and addressed my issues. The issues I have revolve around sensationalism, gross missrepresentation, and a furthering of ignorance relating to the subject/preference. I would be in favor of it only if there were a group of us who fully, to the best of our ability understood some of the workings, made a concerted effort for enlightenment, to those who most liokely are not seeking it. If we were to agree, for the purpose of dialouge, such out come should be approved unanimously be the "round table" group. It would seem, however, that to get to and root-core would be a rather in-depth undertaking.

To me I was born this way and have no choice as a feeder. IT is not something I chose, but merely struggle to live out as best as I can. I am not a deviant, I don't hurt any one am kind, and am only seeking to express my love with some one who understands and is of the same preference. This whole subject is so similar to many other struggles people of color, or preference have had to face.

Some of our bbw/fa brothers have even been hard on us via bad actions of a few. SO for the time being I assume we will remain closeted as much as is possible and seek for our expression between couples.


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## ManOWar (Oct 18, 2006)

As incredible as it may seem, perhaps some things are meant to remain between consenting adults, and not to be displayed on that great equalizer for people to judge and gawk at---the tube.

I've never seen a show of this nature that doesn't make people look pathetic. Again and again, I hear stories of producers promising this and that as far as how the finished product will look. "Respect and dignity" and all that b'loney. Add a free limo and a fabulous hotel room to the mix, and you think Mr. Producer is your buddy.

He's not. 

I wouldn't go near this with a 50-foot funnel.


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## GordoNegro (Oct 18, 2006)

What will probably happen as conflict makes for good tv is; to have a board member here express and opinion or their honesty about themselves and then get confronted by self-hating bbw or their family members angry at their horrible feeder exes who fattened them and abandoned them. Probably choosing board members whose personalities make for good tv when backed into a corner, as to exploit themselves further as opposed to intelligent convo or walking away.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Oct 18, 2006)

activistfatgirl said:


> Ha Ha!
> 
> I forgot to mention: I'm looking for a date to the Seal concert. I want you to come with a big box of danishes and feed them to me during the show. I'll eat and eat and eat and eat until I explode!



This ALWAYS happens when I'm in a relationship. ALWAYS.

ETA: Why don't you and I go on this show, AFG? What's hotter than LESBIAN feederism? Huh? Huh?


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## Renaissance Woman (Oct 18, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> This ALWAYS happens when I'm in a relationship. ALWAYS.


TSL, I hereby formally withdraw my attempt to steal you away from Ryan. Uh, bad time in my life right now, it's not you it's me, let's still be friends, etc., etc. And I'm sending back that box of danishes you had delivered to my house. It just doesn't seem proper to accept them now. I'm sure you understand.


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## activistfatgirl (Oct 18, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> This ALWAYS happens when I'm in a relationship. ALWAYS.
> 
> ETA: Why don't you and I go on this show, AFG? What's hotter than LESBIAN feederism? Huh? Huh?



Well, remember, there are such things as "open" relationships. It is 2006 after all.


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## activistfatgirl (Oct 18, 2006)

Renaissance Woman said:


> TSL, I hereby formally withdraw my attempt to steal you away from Ryan. Uh, bad time in my life right now, it's not you it's me, let's still be friends, etc., etc. And I'm sending back that box of danishes you had delivered to my house. It just doesn't seem proper to accept them now. I'm sure you understand.



Ren Woman, I think you're jumping to conclusions. Take a few minutes to think this through. She was only trying to help me out. You're still the only one. After Ryan. And Danishes. And me.


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## Mini (Oct 18, 2006)

I think you're all being completely and totally unreasonable. This woman is from the ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY. Surely you can take her word that it won't be played for scandal.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Oct 18, 2006)

Renaissance Woman said:


> TSL, I hereby formally withdraw my attempt to steal you away from Ryan. Uh, bad time in my life right now, it's not you it's me, let's still be friends, etc., etc. And I'm sending back that box of danishes you had delivered to my house. It just doesn't seem proper to accept them now. I'm sure you understand.



Can I still bring that 20x size Hostess cupcake?


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## activistfatgirl (Oct 18, 2006)

Mini said:


> I think you're all being completely and totally unreasonable. This woman is from the ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY. Surely you can take her word that it won't be played for scandal.



I take this to mean you're not in on the danish party then?


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## Mini (Oct 18, 2006)

activistfatgirl said:



> I take this to mean you're not in on the danish party then?



I'm on it like a cowboy on another cowboy.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Oct 18, 2006)

He can play a hysterical relative. And for no reason, while he's crying and screaming nonsense, he can rip apart a ten-tier wedding cake and throw it at us.


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## Renaissance Woman (Oct 18, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> He can play a hysterical relative. And for no reason, while he's crying and screaming nonsense, he can rip apart a ten-tier wedding cake and throw it at us.


Ooh, me, me! I want to rip apart a wedding cake and throw it at people! And then Mini can come in and shove danishes in all our mouths and we'll all jump on him and have an orgy right there on stage! 

Now THAT'S good tv! :eat2:


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Oct 18, 2006)

That sounds AWESOME. (Great idea! Why don't we all call her number suggesting this OVER AND OVER AND OVER?)


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## CuteyChubb (Oct 18, 2006)

Do you think if I pretend to be a feedee they'll give me lots of money and pick me up in a limo? I mean, I did take a semster of drama AND I'm fat.


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## Renaissance Woman (Oct 18, 2006)

CuteyChubb said:


> Do you think if I pretend to be a feedee they'll give me lots of money and pick me up in a limo? I mean, I did take a semster of drama AND I'm fat.


What do you mean, "pretend?" You're fat. OBVIOUSLY you're a feedee.

Sheesh, some people just can't follow basic logic.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Oct 18, 2006)

CuteyChubb said:


> Do you think if I pretend to be a feedee they'll give me lots of money and pick me up in a limo? I mean, I did take a semster of drama AND I'm fat.



I can't take you seriously unless you wear a leather bra!


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## CuteyChubb (Oct 18, 2006)

I'll wear the leather bra and carry a duffle with Hostess snack cakes. I'll even leave crumbs and cream on the corners of my mouth. The fat slob look.

Seriously, take your talk show exploitationpalooza and get lost.


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## Fairia (Oct 18, 2006)

My guess is, and as much at times I watch talk shows, talking about ourselves and all the BBW, SSBBW, FA, Feed/er and foodie side of the story to Dr. Keith's could also have consequences as taking our story to Dr. Phil. 

I remember on another forum I belong to that a producer was looking for participants for a British documentary on the giantess fetish. Even there, the members had their doubts and reluctant to think they would be taken seriously or if this was some shlock ploy for bizarre entertainment.

But then, how would you guys feel if we have small discussions with the public outside of the online forum, like taking these discussions to universities or libraries, etc.?


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## RedVelvet (Oct 25, 2006)

Leah33 said:


> Since recently discovering the community of feeder's and dimensions magazine, it got me thinking. The public is not aware of this lifestyle and I would LOVE to do a show focusing on the support and lifestyle of feeders. I find it absolutely fascinating and courageous. In the thin world of media and entertainment, I applaud you for what you do. If you are interested in appearing on this show, or if you have any further questions, please call me toll free 888-372-2569 ext 4279.




What utter horseshit. What pandering BS! 

Kiss my freckled ass.


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## SamanthaNY (Oct 25, 2006)

One of our members has agreed to appear on the show.


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## BBWDREAMLOVER (Oct 25, 2006)

SamanthaNY said:


> One of our members has agreed to appear on the show.


Yeap I sure have!!
And??
I find it pretty sad that if everyone thinks they want to make feeders/feedees look like sickos why no one would want to go and defend this??
Oh wait maybe because most of you already think that way..............
I've certainly seen you slam feeders & feedees in chat


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## RedVelvet (Oct 25, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> Yeap I sure have!!
> And??
> I find it pretty sad that if everyone thinks they want to make feeders/feedees look like sickos why no one would want to go and defend this??
> Oh wait maybe because most of you already think that way..............
> I've certainly seen you slam feeders & feedees in chat



You really think you are gonna win that battle? You against the people who are producing and editing that show as they see fit?

Am I required to respect the feeder lifestyle merely because it exists?


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 25, 2006)

RedVelvet said:


> What utter horseshit. What pandering BS!
> 
> Kiss my freckled ass.



kiss my fat one too


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## BBWDREAMLOVER (Oct 25, 2006)

RedVelvet said:


> You really think you are gonna win that battle? You against the people who are producing and editing that show as they see fit?
> 
> Am I required to respect the feeder lifestyle merely because it exists?


I can damn sure fight the battle!!!!
and if you expect anyone to respect your lifestyle HELL YES YOU SHOULD!!!
What you think you deserve respect and we don't because you disagree we our lifestyle? PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


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## RedVelvet (Oct 25, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> I can damn sure fight the battle!!!!
> and if you expect anyone to respect your lifestyle HELL YES YOU SHOULD!!!
> What you think you deserve respect and we don't because you disagree we our lifestyle? PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE




Actually..no..I dont need you to respect anything about my lifestyle.

I don't think I 'deserve' respect for anything other than my basic humanness....But my sex life?..Fuck...respect from you about THAT is not required for me to feel ok.

Hope you are in the same place. I can't imagine needing respect from others about how I fuck.


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## BBWDREAMLOVER (Oct 25, 2006)

RedVelvet said:


> Actually..no..I dont need to you respect anything about my lifestyle.
> 
> I don't think I 'deserve' respect for anything other than my basic humanness....But my sex life?..Fuck...respect from you is not required for me to feel ok.
> 
> Hope you are in the same place.


I don't need anyones respect nor care if they do agree with my lifestyle choices. I do however respect others & their choices because it is their choice to make not mine and it is also not my place to judge them. 
You just want to be able to badmouth something you disagree with and that is just ignorance to me.

Just out of curiosity, what are your views on feederism??


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## SamanthaNY (Oct 25, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> Yeap I sure have!!
> And??
> I find it pretty sad that if everyone thinks they want to make feeders/feedees look like sickos why no one would want to go and defend this??
> Oh wait maybe because most of you already think that way..............
> I've certainly seen you slam feeders & feedees in chat


It's no secret I don't find the lifestyle appealing, but I'm not here to argue or challenge you (or be challenged myself) about it. This thread isn't about feeding. It's about how the Ablow show is going to portray our community. 

What I object to is the show misrepresenting and potentially demonizing and ridiculing _all _of us, feeders and non-feeders alike - which is what I anticipate is going to happen. If your appearance can prevent that from happening, great - kudos to you for putting yourself out there and speaking your mind. From the way the Ablowers have conducted themselves on the boards, however, I think that's a great challenge. 

BBW, FA, Feedee, Feeder - even if I don't agree with everyone's lifestyle choices, I'll still support you against an outsider wanting to put us on display for entertainment. I seriously doubt that the Ablow show is going to offer _anything _positive, and certainly not the privacy we all deserve.

I hope I'm pleasantly surprised.

P.S. I'm not badmouthing you - or feederism. I'm badmouthing Ablow, and what I think he's going to do.


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## Mini (Oct 25, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> I don't need anyones respect nor care if they do agree with my lifestyle choices. I do however respect others & their choices because it is their choice to make not mine and it is also not my place to judge them.
> You just want to be able to badmouth something you disagree with and that is just ignorance to me.
> 
> Just out of curiosity, what are your views on feederism??



Not to speak for her, but I don't believe she's a fan.


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## RedVelvet (Oct 25, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> I don't need anyones respect nor care if they do agree with my lifestyle choices. I do however respect others & their choices because it is their choice to make not mine and it is also not my place to judge them.
> You just want to be able to badmouth something you disagree with and that is just ignorance to me.
> 
> Just out of curiosity, what are your views on feederism??



Your argument is so convoluted and strange...not really sure how to respond.

You seem to be saying anyone who doesn't agree what you do for fun is ignorant. A simply ridiculous statement. The fact that I don't personally embrace birdwatching doesnt make me ignorant either. Just makes me disinterested and bored with the idea of bird watching.

As to your "just out of curiousity" question......My views on feederism are this: I find it baffling, unappealing, and I could never participate myself.

I would, of course, never tell someone that they couldnt, or shouldnt do it themselves, of course..thats their choice. Salud..enjoy.

What I am not required to do, though..is "respect", and by that I mean...."Admire, esteem, etc", the feeder lifestyle.

I respect your right to do it..but I dont have to respect the lifestyle itself....any more than I am required to respect snake handling in a church as a fascinating way to spend ones Sunday.

Real simple.


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## BBWDREAMLOVER (Oct 25, 2006)

Thank you, when I was approached I was told it was about bbws who love their curves and the men who love them now that I've found this out I'm not sure of me going. I'd like for the people who are going to be positive also if their not my battle will be much harder. I don't want anything negative to be said about this community or feederism. To know this may be their agenda infuriates me!


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## BBWDREAMLOVER (Oct 25, 2006)

RedVelvet said:


> Your argument is so convoluted and strange...not really sure how to respond.
> 
> You seem to be saying anyone who doesn't agree what you do for fun is ignorant. A simply ridiculous statement. The fact that I don't personally embrace birdwatching doesnt make me ignorant either. Just makes me disinterested and bored with the idea of bird watching.
> 
> ...


No it isn't it's really simple actually.........I have no issues nor feel anyone who disagrees with my lifestyle is ignorant I do however feel someone who chooses to badmouth a persons lifestyle choice, whatever it may be, because they disagree with it or it is disinteresting to them is being ignorant and childish. This world is already full of enough hate............why add more?


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## RedVelvet (Oct 25, 2006)

fuck yeah!

This isnt about FEEDING! This is about not letting them treat you, or anyone else..as a joke.

ON these shows...the house always wins...even if your argument is good! They can make it be about anything they want.....

I just want this community to be respected as the diverse place it is...


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## BBWDREAMLOVER (Oct 25, 2006)

RedVelvet said:


> fuck yeah!
> 
> This isnt about FEEDING! This is about not letting them treat you, or anyone else..as a joke.
> 
> ...


AS I DO, so why let them portray it that way and not at least have someone on this show defending us?
Their going to do the show anyway.............Do we really wanna let them do this without a fight??
Come on, Dimensions deserves a fight!!


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## RedVelvet (Oct 25, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> No it isn't it's really simple actually.........I have no issues nor feel anyone who disagrees with my lifestyle is ignorant I do however feel someone who chooses to badmouth a persons lifestyle choice, whatever it may be, because they disagree with it or it is disinteresting to them is being ignorant and childish. This world is already full of enough hate............why add more?



oh GOOD CHRIST.....

I fucking give up...

You are the one that asked me what my veiws are...Good GOD.

When I posed the question "Am I required to respect a lifestyle simply because it exists".....I am thinking about the audience you will be dealing with....

As well as my own feelings ....which are...in reality, fairly neutral at this point, having been very upset in the past...but whatever the fuck....
Enjoy!


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## RedVelvet (Oct 25, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> AS I DO, so why let them portray it that way and not at least have someone on this show defending us?
> Their going to do the show anyway.............Do we really wanna let them do this without a fight??
> Come on, Dimensions deserves a fight!!





Ok....can I say while I admire your spirit....and while I think its good...

These kinds of venues are SET UP, EXPLICITLY...to humilate and exploit.

I think the venue is a bad one...

thats just me


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## SamanthaNY (Oct 25, 2006)

Read all the posts here, Dream (there are several threads now)- and come to your own conclusions about it. Granted, we're a suspicious group when these talk shows come to call, but I think it's justified here. The Ablow show told you the subject was BBW and admirers, but clearly they've been trolling  (with multiple names - never a good sign) for input about feeding here on the board, and have posted clear indications (despite many responses) that they don't perceive a difference between fat people and feeding, and I'm sure they're not going to look upon either group favorably or supportively. I suspect they're telling you one thing, when they plan to cover another subject all together, and ambush you in the process. 

Let's all try to avoid fighting with eachother for the time being and present a united front against bad intentions from outsiders. We can all go back to fighting eachother afterwards  .

In terms of defending Dimensions - that's certainly a cause I can get behind, if there's a level playing field. With it being _their _show, _their _editing, _their _commentary - that won't happen. It's a case of picking your battles - for me, this is one to avoid. I'm not trying to convince you of my viewpoint - merely to get all the input you can so you can make your own informed decision.
 
One last thing though, and something I've learned the hard way - you can only give away your privacy once.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 25, 2006)

Great post, Samantha 
and what you said about privacy- so true


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 25, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> I don't need anyones respect nor care if they do agree with my lifestyle choices. I do however respect others & their choices because it is their choice to make not mine and it is also not my place to judge them.
> You just want to be able to badmouth something you disagree with and that is just ignorance to me.
> 
> Just out of curiosity, what are your views on feederism??



I'm a feeder myself, and I adore you and all the other gorgeous feedees that pass through here, so I'm behind you in this regard.

However, the point WAS made that this TV show is not going to play a fair game. You'll defend people like us and probably sound great doing it, but the odds are that the finished product will conveniently exclude your strongest statements and spend more time on the guests that allow themselves to be dissected and ultimately humiliated.
Members of our ranks have agreed to TV and documentaries countless times before, and it seems that in each and every one of those times, the TV producers cut and paste quotes together to tell the story that THEY were set out to tell...not necessarilly the story told by their guests.

These people want a freak show, and they're going to manipulate the footage to make sure it translates as such when it finally airs on TV.


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 25, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> Come on, Dimensions deserves a fight!!



And if you mention this website, rest assured that every prepubescent miscreant who watches this show will come here to be a pain in the ass.


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## AppreSheAte (Oct 25, 2006)

may i suggest an experiment? 

whatever the show is about, there perhaps should be some active experience by the producer.


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 25, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> Come on, Dimensions deserves a fight!!



I've got more to add on this. You're right, Dimensions does deserve a fight, but you'll be the one-legged woman in the ass-kicking contest if you appear on Dr.Ablow.

I fight for Dimensions and feederism all the time, but charging out on a horse isn't the only way to do it. I HELP IT GROW. Case in point, I've introduced this website to many fat girls over the past eight years, and some of them have taken to it so well that they now have paysites of their own. The point is that Dimensions becomes bigger and stronger with each new member...and definitely more productive than NAAFA is, was, or ever will be (PS where the fuck are THEY during all this?). 
And feederism? I fight that battle in the bedroom, and I always win. No two feeders are the same (which is why this debate will never die), but I tend to take a more sensual approach to it, and I'm always successful. One night with me and a carton of ice cream and you'll see what I mean.

So yeah, fight for Dimensions and fight for feederism, but fight SMART.


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## BBWDREAMLOVER (Oct 25, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> And if you mention this website, rest assured that every prepubescent miscreant who watches this show will come here to be a pain in the ass.


I signed the agreement to appear before seeing these threads or their trolling and was told the show was about BBWs who love their curves and the men who love them. 
Now I have no clue what to do or how to get out of this................I spoke to her on the phone and it wasn't up to par to me. 
She told me the show was about bbws who love their curves and the men who love them so I then asked her what that had to do with feederism. She said its just a small part of it and I said exactly it is a very very small part of it and is not what Dimensions is about. That BBWs are not all into feederism so why would this subject be connected to this show? When I asked her to tell me the titile of the show specifically she said she didn't have the title in front of her.


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 25, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> When I asked her to tell me the titile of the show specifically she said she didn't have the title in front of her.



Well, my dear, you have the title in front of YOU. It was posted here, on this board (twice), by representatives of the Dr.Ablow TV Show. And now, hopefully, you see exactly why some of us are urging you to no-show. Personally, I don't know how you can get out of this, nor have I heard of signing agreements/release forms before you even board the plane. I've appeared on two shows and a documentary thus far (don't worry, they were filmed by and for OUR people), and I didn't have to sign anything until five minutes before the camera started rolling.
Call them to cancel. If they give you any trouble, I suggest calling an attorney.


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## Renaissance Woman (Oct 25, 2006)

Dream, what specifically does the agreement say? Are there any penalties if you back out? If there aren't, then screw 'em. If there are, there's got to be a loophole somewhere. 

The fact that your son is going with you--I can only see this as an opportunity for them to ambush you about how you're setting a bad example for him and how you're a bad role model. Not telling you the title? They know you'll back out if you know it. 

If something doesn't feel right about the whole thing, go with those feelings!


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## SamanthaNY (Oct 25, 2006)

It's an agreement to appear, with the usual heretofore's etc, releasing them from liability, and holding you from appearing anywhere else for a period of time. I don't think there's any legal obligation here as long as you notify them in advance, in writing. I would make a copy of both their introductory posts here, citing that they are giving conflicting information and you are no longer comfortable appearing. If you give them advance notice (with a copy of the agreement indicating you now withdraw), they can't claim any monetary damages (for airfare, etc). 

If they try to force you to appear, tell them you'll go to your local news media, where you'll tearfully say that you're being pressured by a national television show. They won't play hardball once they realize you've got bigger balls . 

They're no doubt planning this show for a November release - which is sweeps month. They're going to structure it to be sensationalistic enough to attract more viewers... with that in mind, I can't see how anyone is going to be portrayed in a positive light.


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## AppreSheAte (Oct 25, 2006)

Could someone actually combine an interesting and entertaining show with being informative, open minded, and respectful? 

That sounds like quite a challenge, but Velvet in Paris seems to have won over a lot of support by being fairly outrageous. 

In my opinion, Rhonda might be our perfect representative to showcase beauty, size and, dare I say, fat eroticism. I wish somehow someone could show her support and help her do this rather than simply cast stones and ruin this opportunity. 

I was just thinking that I wish Rhonda would get discovered as a movie star... perhaps that is bit far fetched, but who knows maybe this could be a big break.

Well, that is my 2 cents.

By the way, my earlier comment about wondering if the producer would do an experiment, I still think is a reasonable suggestion, if what it is about provides some insight into why food, weight gain, size, and eroticism is somehow linked at least inside some of us. I wasn't proposing some dastardly deed, just an innocent experiment that could help to introduce the attitude. Wish Leah would take me up on it. 

Should I take cover? Are the stones going to come my way now?


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## SamanthaNY (Oct 25, 2006)

> I wish somehow someone could show her support and help her do this rather than simply cast stones and ruin this opportunity.


We are showing her support (are you?), and no one has "ruined this opportunity" for her. The choice to appear is hers and hers alone, and she is quite capable of making that decision. 

Btw, just what opportunity *do *you see for Dream, with all of the evidence you see here of what the show might actually be like? Or is it possible that the opportunity of which you speak is for yourself - to see her on television, risking her own privacy (and more) while you remain safely cloaked. 



> By the way, my earlier comment about wondering if the producer would do an experiment, I still think is a reasonable suggestion


Are you on glue? You expect someone outside this community to purposely eat to gain weight, and you think that will magically give them "insight" into the world some enjoy here? Get real - even if it were possible to instantly develop the desire, it's not gonna happen just cuz some goober on a website thinks it's 'wicked cool'.



> Wish Leah would take me up on it.


Why don't you ask her? In fact... why don't YOU go on the show, instead of just pushing for Dream to do it? Clearly you're ideal for the show, since you understand the "_opportunity_" it presents. Right?


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 25, 2006)

Samantha, I think he just wants to see her on free TV so he can get his fix without having to subscribe to her site or pay for her videos on clips4sale. There's no point in debating with him.


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## Mini (Oct 25, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> Samantha, I think he just wants to see her on free TV so he can get his fix without having to subscribe to her site or pay for her videos on clips4sale. There's no point in debating with him.



Cockblocker.


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## AppreSheAte (Oct 26, 2006)

Of course I'd have to get my tivo fixed.

I don't know what Dream would have to submit herself to. I think she can control whether she stays or goes even once the show starts. I would encourage her to make that clear, and to receive her expenses paid in advance. 

I still see it as an opportunity. Not just for Dream, but for our community.

Lastly, I have to say, I wouldn't expect Leah to gain. I think there is so much more emotion, psychology, and even fantasy to how we think or act than simply physical change. I'm probably not saying it exactly right, but I think half or more of our country doesn't understand food, their emotions, or their own sensuality. The few who do have a clue, that self express themselves, self-actualize are very rare. Dream, I think, might be one of the few. So, I stand by what I said, I think it would be very interesting for Leah to gain exposure to a different perspective about something much bigger than food, size, weight, or sex... imagination, fantasy, eroticism, and creative confident self-expression... a lot like Dream.

now, where do i get my tivo fixed at?


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## Leah33 (Oct 26, 2006)

I just read the many responses received on this post. I understand why
everyone has been so defensive. We are producers and in your eyes we are
making a show for entertainment purposes. While that is partially the case,
we are trying to get our viewers to open their minds to new walks of life,
or on some shows we are resolving family or personal issues. Dr. Keith is
smart, funny, and good hearted. We want our guests to have the best
experience during their appearance. And we want to deliver a reputable show. Keep in mind our names are in the credits. We would not want to attach our names on a show we didn't believe in.

The titled of our show is "FATabulous." The stories are still in the works,
but we will have women on our show who are large, beautiful, and confident. They love every curve of themselves and have relationships with men who love and adore them.

When I first posted, I found a site on Feeders and it was a subject I was
not familiar with. In the past few weeks, I have done the research and I am
educated now on that subject. I was silly for categorizing bbw and feederism in the same category. They are two TOTALLY different things. When you try to book guests for a topic in mind, you don't necessarily get what you are seeking. The show is no longer about feederism, which I originally posted. It is about being fat and fabulous. Will we mention feeders? It is too early to tell. What I can promise you, is that we will not exploit, humiliate, or even lie to one of our guests. Everyone will be aware of what their position is on the show and prepared with questions that will be asked by Dr. Keith.

I hope this posting clarifies things a bit. Every guest on our show will contribute their perspective on their particular lifestyle choice and their position is not dictated by us. Everyone is portraying the position they hold. You have every right to question me. You have no reason to trust me. Please let me earn your trust. I would love for you to call me with questions. I will be happy to answer them.

My toll free number is 888-372-2569 ext 4279.

I wish you all well.

Leah


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## BBWDREAMLOVER (Oct 26, 2006)

Leah33 said:


> I just read the many responses received on this post. I understand why
> everyone has been so defensive. We are producers and in your eyes we are
> making a show for entertainment purposes. While that is partially the case,
> we are trying to get our viewers to open their minds to new walks of life,
> ...


I'd like to say Thank You for at least trying to explain yourself and reasons for the original post. I'm glad you understand or at least attempt to understand our concerns.....


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## AppreSheAte (Oct 26, 2006)

leah, i'm glad you provided a response. i hope that your show is a success.


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## Tori DeLuca (Oct 27, 2006)

Interesting....


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## exile in thighville (Oct 27, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> Yeap I sure have!!
> And??
> I find it pretty sad that if everyone thinks they want to make feeders/feedees look like sickos why no one would want to go and defend this??
> Oh wait maybe because most of you already think that way..............
> I've certainly seen you slam feeders & feedees in chat



why go along with their notion that it requires defense? don't even dignify them with a response.


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## exile in thighville (Oct 27, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> I don't need anyones respect nor care if they do agree with my lifestyle choices.



then why are you doing the show? that's my point exactly. also, you contradict this statement right below when you ask her opinion on your lifestyle "just out of curiosity", but more out of a need to defend yourself, which you have the right not to.


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## exile in thighville (Oct 27, 2006)

i just get nauseous coming to the weight board at this point because every post turns into a world vs. feederism thing. we get it; no one likes the abnormal, but they still want to study and do experiments on them. but i am sick and sad and fucking depressed because i was apparently born with the only sexual fetish ever that requires its practioners to contstantly have to defend themselves, in their own forum no less. i expect the outside world to hate but i always assumed the members of a size acceptance forum knew a little something more about "acceptance" in general, even if they don't like what i do. my point is that the worldview won't change, freaks remain freaks and they'll find other freaks to be their mate and live a happy life with sex as their own goddamn business. the best thing to do is not allow ourselves to be used as guinea pigs for the world to fashion horror movies and talk show episodes about.


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## BBWDREAMLOVER (Oct 28, 2006)

dan ex machina said:


> why go along with their notion that it requires defense? don't even dignify them with a response.


because its my choice!!


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## BBWDREAMLOVER (Oct 28, 2006)

dan ex machina said:


> then why are you doing the show? that's my point exactly. also, you contradict this statement right below when you ask her opinion on your lifestyle "just out of curiosity", but more out of a need to defend yourself, which you have the right not to.


i don't see it as a contradiction, curiosity was the reason i asked if you wish to read more into it thats you but don't put it off as me contradicting myself.


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## BBWDREAMLOVER (Oct 28, 2006)

dan ex machina said:


> i just get nauseous coming to the weight board at this point because every post turns into a world vs. feederism thing. we get it; no one likes the abnormal, but they still want to study and do experiments on them. but i am sick and sad and fucking depressed because i was apparently born with the only sexual fetish ever that requires its practioners to contstantly have to defend themselves, in their own forum no less. i expect the outside world to hate but i always assumed the members of a size acceptance forum knew a little something more about "acceptance" in general, even if they don't like what i do. my point is that the worldview won't change, freaks remain freaks and they'll find other freaks to be their mate and live a happy life with sex as their own goddamn business. the best thing to do is not allow ourselves to be used as guinea pigs for the world to fashion horror movies and talk show episodes about.


For one if this depresses you that bad you should seek help. _"i am sick and sad and fucking depressed because i was apparently born with the only sexual fetish ever that requires its practioners to contstantly have to defend themselves"_ You have obviously not came to terms with your choices
Also the show is NOT about feederism, it is a topic however that may come up, and?? 
Whats the big deal?
Everyone {into feederism} seems to just wanna hide........are ya'll that embarrassed of your choices? So terrified the world will see it as freakish........what does the world not see as freakish?? everything and anything not persay "normal" 
You know how many fetishes/preferences there are that people consider freakish yet the people who enjoy them don't hide they embrace their desires. Why shouldn't we?


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 28, 2006)

Dream, it's not that easy. It's obviously easy for people like us to talk about it HERE. But still, even HERE, an online community put together just for us, debates over feederism are still hot to the touch.
To this day, it's still tough for me to connect with girls who have never heard of Dimensions, and there are still many. There are hundreds upon thousands of fat girls who are still behind on the size acceptance movement itself, let alone being open to getting fatter. Hence, there are still many women in the world who are insecure with their looks, as beautiful as they may be, and introducing the idea of getting them fatter drives them insane.
Case in point, I had met a girl at the club over five years ago and she had me completely captivated. Beautiful, many common interests, and just as sarcastic and rough around the edges as I am. We connected right away, and I kept thinking to myself "finally...a keeper". She was a mere 220lbs. A waif compared to the women I prefer, and even at that size, she was very weight-obssessed. I tried SO MANY times to make her feel at ease in her body, telling her constantly that there was nothing wrong with her. One day, she tried to pick my brain about this and asked about what I would consider as an ideal, and I showed her a picture of our very own Heather Boyle. SHE...FLIPPED...OUT. She even went as far as to call me "odd". You all know Heather...am I odd for finding her attractive? At that point, finding the Loch Ness monster would have been easier than talking about feederism, and the relationship ended soon after.
Just like how politically correct conversations/practices set no guidelines for fat women, neither do fetishes. Anything and everything is easily acceptable with the exception of getting aroused to see a girl willingly get fatter. These days, I can tell a girl that I'm into babysitting, cross-dressing, being pissed on, etc...but as soon as I say "I think it's very sexy to see a girl get fatter by choice", I'm suddenly breaking taboos.
Guys like me are lucky to have people like you who are open to it, but FINDING you is the problem.


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## BBWDREAMLOVER (Oct 28, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> Dream, it's not that easy. It's obviously easy for people like us to talk about it HERE. But still, even HERE, an online community put together just for us, debates over feederism are still hot to the touch.
> To this day, it's still tough for me to connect with girls who have never heard of Dimensions, and there are still many. There are hundreds upon thousands of fat girls who are still behind on the size acceptance movement itself, let alone being open to getting fatter. Hence, there are still many women in the world who are insecure with their looks, as beautiful as they may be, and introducing the idea of getting them fatter drives them insane.
> Case in point, I had met a girl at the club over five years ago and she had me completely captivated. Beautiful, many common interests, and just as sarcastic and rough around the edges as I am. We connected right away, and I kept thinking to myself "finally...a keeper". She was a mere 220lbs. A waif compared to the women I prefer, and even at that size, she was very weight-obssessed. I tried SO MANY times to make her feel at ease in her body, telling her constantly that there was nothing wrong with her. One day, she tried to pick my brain about this and asked about what I would consider as an ideal, and I showed her a picture of our very own Heather Boyle. SHE...FLIPPED...OUT. She even went as far as to call me "odd". You all know Heather...am I odd for finding her attractive? At that point, finding the Loch Ness monster would have been easier than talking about feederism, and the relationship ended soon after.
> Just like how politically correct conversations/practices set no guidelines for fat women, neither do fetishes. Anything and everything is easily acceptable with the exception of getting aroused to see a girl willingly get fatter. These days, I can tell a girl that I'm into babysitting, cross-dressing, being pissed on, etc...but as soon as I say "I think it's very sexy to see a girl get fatter by choice", I'm suddenly breaking taboos.
> Guys like me are lucky to have people like you who are open to it, but FINDING you is the problem.


_"it's still tough for me to connect with girls who have never heard of Dimensions, and there are still many"_

I talk to people everyday who enjoy many things things alot of people would consider "freakish". When I talk to someone who exhibits confidence in his/her choosen preference/fetish it makes me more open to it and wanting to know more about it and seeing if it is something I might enjoy also. When they seem unsure, scared I feel they themselves have not come to terms with their preference/fetish and are still unsure they even like it enough to make it a part of their life. 


_"Guys like me are lucky to have people like you who are open to it, but FINDING you is the problem"_ 

I may be one of few but I'd like that to change and sitting in my house being scared to tell people hey I'm fat, I love being fat I wanna be fatter and I'm happy is not going to change anything {except me getting fatter  } 


_"There are hundreds upon thousands of fat girls who are still behind on the size acceptance movement itself, let alone being open to getting fatter"_


Fat women are not the only women with these insecurities either. This isn't a issue that just pertains to fat girls either or women for that matter. A positive self image is something everyone should have no matter size,race,preference/fetish...............

_"I had met a girl at the club over five years ago and she had me completely captivated. Beautiful, many common interests, and just as sarcastic and rough around the edges as I am. We connected right away, and I kept thinking to myself "finally...a keeper". She was a mere 220lbs. A waif compared to the women I prefer, and even at that size, she was very weight-obssessed. I tried SO MANY times to make her feel at ease in her body, telling her constantly that there was nothing wrong with her. One day, she tried to pick my brain about this and asked about what I would consider as an ideal, and I showed her a picture of our very own Heather Boyle. SHE...FLIPPED...OUT."_


Now I have to say to me it was wrong of you not to share this with her in the beginning. To me its like a man dressed as woman not telling the man shes attempting to date shes a man. Thats my personal opinion.......I am always open from day one with my preferences/fetish. I think it was shelfish on your part not to tell her and I don't blame her for her reaction, You yourself said 

_"There are hundreds upon thousands of fat girls who are still behind on the size acceptance movement itself, let alone being open to getting fatter"_ 

So why would you not be upfront with her???


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## exile in thighville (Oct 28, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> because its my choice!!



your choice affects how i am viewed. no offense to you personally, but i wouldn't want you or anyone going on tv to try and explain something so personally relevant to people who don't want to hear it. they want you in the center ring of their freak show. i'd be content forever with the knowledge that anyone who wants to know about this fetish knows where to look once they discover themselves. if the man was a true psychologist, he'd have the respect for offbeat human sexuality to not use his subjects as puppets for his platform.


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## exile in thighville (Oct 28, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> For one if this depresses you that bad you should seek help. _"i am sick and sad and fucking depressed because i was apparently born with the only sexual fetish ever that requires its practioners to contstantly have to defend themselves"_ You have obviously not came to terms with your choices
> Also the show is NOT about feederism, it is a topic however that may come up, and??
> Whats the big deal?
> Everyone {into feederism} seems to just wanna hide........are ya'll that embarrassed of your choices? So terrified the world will see it as freakish........what does the world not see as freakish?? everything and anything not persay "normal"
> You know how many fetishes/preferences there are that people consider freakish yet the people who enjoy them don't hide they embrace their desires. Why shouldn't we?



i embrace my desire with my girlfriend and this forum, what more do i want? just because i don't wear a sign that reads "my dick gets hard when i think about women gaining weight" doesn't mean i'm "hiding." my fetish would become a public issue if say, politicians tried to ban it or limit my rights due to my sexuality. that's when i would speak out for my rights. but frankly, no one is ostracizing feeders by not knowing they exist, and fat admiration is a no-brainer. you like what you like, and no psychologist can guilt into otherwise. the rest of the world should be embarassed not to know that at least. but the most fucked-up thing you said is this:

"are ya'll that embarrassed of your choices?"

i'm sorry, you don't deserve the privilege to speak for any community if you think sexual orientation is a choice. i certainly didn't ask for the boner that underage violet beauregarde gave me when she turned blue and inflated and it wouldn't hurt to take sexual-fetish-related-depression-and-guilt off my personality. yes, i am that embarassed. if you could stop being turned-on by something you feared your friends would discover, you wouldn't? it would certainly make my life alot fucking easier, not having to come here and be reminded i could enable some poor woman to become immobile and die. yeah i deal with it fine, life's too short to try to ignore what arouses me and it's made for some wildly explosive escapades that i can never brag about to anyone i know in real life. plenty of you may take issue with this, but while not everyone wants to be normal, i'm almost positive no one wants to be ostracized. just so we're clear, i'm not ashamed at all of loving fat women, i'm ashamed of what i need them to do in my mind to get me off. i am at least grateful that my fetish is only well-known enough to have episodes made about it on malcolm in the middle and just shoot me rather than ratings blitzes like lost or 24 so only a third of the country gets to hear punchlines about it. feederism will never be accepted until fat itself is, which is gonna be a long time, and even then, plenty of people are gonna think it's fucked up. you're not going to change the mind of a doctor or the majority of a studio audience, though.


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## exile in thighville (Oct 28, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> _"it's still tough for me to connect with girls who have never heard of Dimensions, and there are still many"_
> 
> I talk to people everyday who enjoy many things things alot of people would consider "freakish". When I talk to someone who exhibits confidence in his/her choosen preference/fetish it makes me more open to it and wanting to know more about it and seeing if it is something I might enjoy also. When they seem unsure, scared I feel they themselves have not come to terms with their preference/fetish and are still unsure they even like it enough to make it a part of their life.
> 
> ...



pepper spray? most girlfriends and wives do not want to hear about their husband's "ideal", you know, the one that's 200 pounds heavier. i know from personal experience that no girl wants a stick to be measured against.


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## AtlasD (Oct 28, 2006)

Call me cynical, but the function of the media is not to inform. The function of the media is to boost ratings and sell ad time.

Leah33 can profess good will all she wants, but bottom line, its the advertisers that operate this show. What is their motivation? Usually its cash. I am curious about the advertisements that will run on this proposed segment. Will it be all weight loss commercials? Or will there be more size positive ads for clothing, fitness or whatever?

BBWDreamLover, good luck, I sincerely hope this show is not going to be yet another exploitative and sensationalized piece on the obesity epidemic. Reasoned and objective discussion is a wonderful thing, but it is seldom found on commercial television.

Dan ex machina, I have to say this- when you showed your prospective lady friend a picture of another women (it doesnt matter if its Heather Boyle or Paris Hilton)- you blew it big time. We have to love each other for what we are, and not what we want us to be.


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## BBWDREAMLOVER (Oct 28, 2006)

dan ex machina said:


> i embrace my desire with my girlfriend and this forum, what more do i want? just because i don't wear a sign that reads "my dick gets hard when i think about women gaining weight" doesn't mean i'm "hiding." my fetish would become a public issue if say, politicians tried to ban it or limit my rights due to my sexuality. that's when i would speak out for my rights. but frankly, no one is ostracizing feeders by not knowing they exist, and fat admiration is a no-brainer. you like what you like, and no psychologist can guilt into otherwise. the rest of the world should be embarassed not to know that at least. but the most fucked-up thing you said is this:
> 
> "are ya'll that embarrassed of your choices?"
> 
> i'm sorry, you don't deserve the privilege to speak for any community if you think sexual orientation is a choice. i certainly didn't ask for the boner that underage violet beauregarde gave me when she turned blue and inflated and it wouldn't hurt to take sexual-fetish-related-depression-and-guilt off my personality. yes, i am that embarassed. if you could stop being turned-on by something you feared your friends would discover, you wouldn't? it would certainly make my life alot fucking easier, not having to come here and be reminded i could enable some poor woman to become immobile and die. yeah i deal with it fine, life's too short to try to ignore what arouses me and it's made for some wildly explosive escapades that i can never brag about to anyone i know in real life. plenty of you may take issue with this, but while not everyone wants to be normal, i'm almost positive no one wants to be ostracized. just so we're clear, i'm not ashamed at all of loving fat women, i'm ashamed of what i need them to do in my mind to get me off. i am at least grateful that my fetish is only well-known enough to have episodes made about it on malcolm in the middle and just shoot me rather than ratings blitzes like lost or 24 so only a third of the country gets to hear punchlines about it. feederism will never be accepted until fat itself is, which is gonna be a long time, and even then, plenty of people are gonna think it's fucked up. you're not going to change the mind of a doctor or the majority of a studio audience, though.



contradiction

_"yes, i am that embarassed"
"'I'm not ashamed at all of loving fat women"_

Just for the record I NEVER said I would change the mind of The Dr or the Audience or attempt such I said and I quote
_"If this show changed one womans view about herself I would feel my effort was worth it."_

One last thing.....I don't speak for this community I speak for myself.


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## LoveBHMS (Oct 28, 2006)

dan ex machina said:


> pepper spray? most girlfriends and wives do not want to hear about their husband's "ideal", you know, the one that's 200 pounds heavier. i know from personal experience that no girl wants a stick to be measured against.



So how or why, when a 220 pound woman asked you about your ideal did you show her a picture of a woman who is about 200 pounds bigger? You already knew she didn't like her size, so did you somehow think if you showed her a picture of a larger woman that would magically make her think "aha, he does like big women."

We FA's can get pretty arrogant sometimes, and i include myself in this, thinking that if only the objects of our attention could be made to understand that we find them attractive, then that would make them think differently about their own feelings about their size. I had a lengthy thread on the BHM board about this, moaning about how a BHM I knew didn't think he was hot. I finally saw the light after reading input from dozens of men and women of various sizes. The light being this: "It doesn't matter what you think of him. It matters what he thinks of himself." To believe that our love or admiration or preference is somehow transformative is to believe in fairy tales. i.e. "My feelings about her will change her feelings about herself."

And I was thinking was BBWDreamer already said, that she would speak for herself, not the whole SA universe. I can't believe she owes it to anyone to be their spokesperson. If she goes on that show she will undoubtedly say "This is me and this is how I think/feel about my size and this is what I want."

I say go for it.


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## lemmink (Oct 28, 2006)

LoveBHMS said:


> So how or why, when a 220 pound woman asked you about your ideal did you show her a picture of a woman who is about 200 pounds bigger? You already knew she didn't like her size, so did you somehow think if you showed her a picture of a larger woman that would magically make her think "aha, he does like big women."



He didn't - that little story originated, I think, via the Bruceman.


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## LoveBHMS (Oct 28, 2006)

You're right. I made a mistake for which I apologize.


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 28, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> So why would you not be upfront with her???



I was. The relationship wasn't very long, and I actually tackled this subject early on. After years upon years of her mother pounding the idea into her head that fat girls never go anywhere in life, it appeared that my efforts to change her mind didn't stand a chance. Naturally, it was nice to not have to starve herself whenever we went out, but the thought of her getting fatter didn't sit well with her. It weirded her out, and it ultimately complicated things. The one that came before her was with me for two years and was significantly fatter. And yeah, she knew my story and reluctantly let herself eat more and did gain some, but even after two years, she was still VERY uncomfortable with talking about it.

Don't be quick to make assumptions that I'm hiding behind a mask when it comes to feederism. Certainly don't forget that for every confident feedee such as you, there's at least 15-20 insecure women who try to live on salads and rice cakes. I address this issue fairly early, actually. Sometimes I luck out, most times I don't. Of the many women I've dated over the years, only TWO have been open to it, and one of them eventually made an appearance on Big Cuties as Echo.

So don't talk to me like I'm some closet case when you don't have all of your facts together. I don't see how explaining any of this to a psychiatrist is going to do me any good, either, but if you're confident that you're going to educate people on this particular broadcast, then be my guest. Or his guest, rather.


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 28, 2006)

LoveBHMS said:


> So how or why, when a 220 pound woman asked you about your ideal did you show her a picture of a woman who is about 200 pounds bigger?



Because when the bitch salivates over every muscle man she sees on television, it's fair game. Not all of us are willing to live on steroids and other assorted substances like the employees of World Wrestling Entertainment, just like not all of us are confident in our beauty and size like Heather Boyle.

In the end, showing her that picture probably saved my ass, because out she went, and a much fatter, cuter, OPEN-MINDED girlfriend took her place and stuck around for four years.


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## LoveBHMS (Oct 28, 2006)

sorry.

I mistakenly mixed up your and Dan's remarks.


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## BBWDREAMLOVER (Oct 28, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> I was. The relationship wasn't very long, and I actually tackled this subject early on. After years upon years of her mother pounding the idea into her head that fat girls never go anywhere in life, it appeared that my efforts to change her mind didn't stand a chance. Naturally, it was nice to not have to starve herself whenever we went out, but the thought of her getting fatter didn't sit well with her. It weirded her out, and it ultimately complicated things. The one that came before her was with me for two years and was significantly fatter. And yeah, she knew my story and reluctantly let herself eat more and did gain some, but even after two years, she was still VERY uncomfortable with talking about it.
> 
> Don't be quick to make assumptions that I'm hiding behind a mask when it comes to feederism. Certainly don't forget that for every confident feedee such as you, there's at least 15-20 insecure women who try to live on salads and rice cakes. I address this issue fairly early, actually. Sometimes I luck out, most times I don't. Of the many women I've dated over the years, only TWO have been open to it, and one of them eventually made an appearance on Big Cuties as Echo.
> 
> So don't talk to me like I'm some closet case when you don't have all of your facts together. I don't see how explaining any of this to a psychiatrist is going to do me any good, either, but if you're confident that you're going to educate people on this particular broadcast, then be my guest. Or his guest, rather.


_"One day, she tried to pick my brain about this and asked about what I would consider as an ideal, and I showed her a picture of our very own Heather Boyle. SHE...FLIPPED...OUT"_

This is what you said not something I assumed and obviously since she was so surprised with what your "ideal" woman looked like, you left that out...............I'm sure had she known this upfront her reaction would not of been so extreme.


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## exile in thighville (Oct 28, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> contradiction
> 
> _"yes, i am that embarassed"
> "'I'm not ashamed at all of loving fat women"_
> ...



that's not a contradiction. check the original context. one's a fetish and one's a preference. if you don't know that by now, again, dequalify yourself, pronto.


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## exile in thighville (Oct 28, 2006)

LoveBHMS said:


> did you somehow think if you showed her a picture of a larger woman that would magically make her think "aha, he does like big women."



actually, i did. and i said it was a mistake.


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## exile in thighville (Oct 28, 2006)

LoveBHMS said:


> You're right. I made a mistake for which I apologize.



we all make mistakes.


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## BBWDREAMLOVER (Oct 28, 2006)

dan ex machina said:


> that's not a contradiction. check the original context. one's a fetish and one's a preference. if you don't know that by now, again, dequalify yourself, pronto.


Sweetie look up the words in the dictionary...........also why would I dequalify myself from speaking for myself. 

*ashamed - 
unwilling or restrained because of fear of shame, ridicule, or disapproval*

*embarassed-
made to feel uncomfortable because of shame or wounded pride*



*In your post you say*

_"yes, i am that embarassed. if you could stop being turned-on by something you feared your friends would discover, you wouldn't?"_ 

*then say in the same post* 

_"'I'm not ashamed at all of loving fat women"_


btw no I wouldn't, if my friends can't accept me as I am their not my friends.


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## exile in thighville (Oct 28, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> Sweetie look up the words in the dictionary...........



not that i should have to reiterate this, but i doubt you've been through a dictionary in awhile:

fet-ish: any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion (as feederism does with the physical property of fatness)

pref-er-ence: The selecting of someone or something over another or others. (such as the persons of fat women)

(helpful hint: the one with the word "object" is the one i could live without, not that life isn't sweet with)


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## BBWDREAMLOVER (Oct 28, 2006)

dan ex machina said:


> not that i should have to reiterate this, but i doubt you've been through a dictionary in awhile:
> 
> fet-ish: any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion (as feederism does with the physical property of fatness)
> 
> ...




*ashamed - 
unwilling or restrained because of fear of shame, ridicule, or disapproval

embarassed-
made to feel uncomfortable because of shame or wounded pride*



*In your post you say*

_"yes, i am that embarassed. if you could stop being turned-on by something you feared your friends would discover, you wouldn't?" _

*then say in the same post* 

_"'I'm not ashamed at all of loving fat women"_


btw no I wouldn't, if my friends can't accept me as I am their not my friends.


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## mossystate (Oct 28, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> Because when the bitch salivates over every muscle man she sees on television, it's fair game. Not all of us are willing to live on steroids and other assorted substances like the employees of World Wrestling Entertainment, just like not all of us are confident in our beauty and size like Heather Boyle.
> 
> In the end, showing her that picture probably saved my ass, because out she went, and a much fatter, cuter, OPEN-MINDED girlfriend took her place and stuck around for four years.



Yikes..your energy in that post bordered on the scary.You said you were captivated by this woman and then she turns into a 'bitch' because she had a preference for men who did not look like you..hmmmm.Reading your posts in this thread has me thinking that you are all about YOUR desires and if some women do not WANT what you desire for them..they are..insane..not confident..a pawn in someones fat-hating game..behind the gettin-fatter-times...close-minded.One of the posters here was right ...arrogant! Next time a feedee whips out a magazine filled with muscled men...you better run to a gym..give the woman what she wants..*L*

Anyway..back to the regularly scheduled thread....


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## BBWDREAMLOVER (Oct 28, 2006)

dan ex machina said:


> that's not a contradiction. check the original context. one's a fetish and one's a preference. if you don't know that by now, again, dequalify yourself, pronto.



One last thing ............. I find it very confusing, disturbing even saddening that someone who states he loves fat women would be so against a fat woman wanting to share her positive self image with others. 
I also have to say for me personally it is shameful to me as a confident & sexy fat woman that people new to this board would see this. To see a man state his love for fat women but then ridicules her for wanting to share her positive self image with others. 
You want more positive fat women? that is me assuming you do but that isn't clear either...................Be a positive FA man!


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## Ample Pie (Oct 29, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> One last thing ............. I find it very confusing, disturbing even saddening that someone who states he loves fat women would be so against a fat woman wanting to share her positive self image with others.
> I also have to say for me personally it is shameful to me as a confident & sexy fat woman that people new to this board would see this. To see a man state his love for fat women but then ridicules her for wanting to share her positive self image with others.
> You want more positive fat women? that is me assuming you do but that isn't clear either...................Be a positive FA man!


 
I don't think he seems like he wants to keep fat women from expressing themselves about being fat, so much as it burns his butt that a fat woman is being asked to jump through hoops and do tricks like a circus act just to justify her existence and also that she's willing to do it. Your point of view is that your presence might have a positive affect for other women. And you're right, it really might. But I also see how distasteful it might be to see people being treated like freaks especially for something you really and wholly want to be seen as 'normal' or at least simply accepted. I think you two are just coming from different places and it's just a matter of disagreeing, which adults can do. 

I do find it disturbing that while he's bummed out that you're being put in a position where you'll need to defend who you are and what you do, he's very defensive about what he does and who he is. I don't think any preference is freakish if it's consensual and respectful. So don't take this as an attack on feeders/feedees; I have no problem with either role or act. But it seems to me that when people go on the offensive about your predilections, you have two choices--you can get defensive or you can tell them to f*ck off and ignore them. I feel bad that ANYONE--ie Dan or You--would feel the need to defend who they are and what they do in this way. Of course you have the right to do so but it sucks that you have to, that this _needs_ that kind of defense, that people can't just live and let live.


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## exile in thighville (Oct 29, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> Sweetie look up the words in the dictionary...........also why would I dequalify myself from speaking for myself.
> 
> *ashamed -
> unwilling or restrained because of fear of shame, ridicule, or disapproval*
> ...



again you pull up two completely different things that i said _out of context_ that may well be "in the same post" and yet (hey check this out) two different ideas. my friends all know i like fat women and don't care. beyond that, it's not their responsibility to accept me based on anything sexual about me because it's not their business. being a feeder is between me and my partner. theoretically if they found out i was a feeder i don't know what they'd think. if they changed their behavior towards me then yes, i'd stop being friends with them (the answer you were looking for?). but i can still accept myself without shouting it from the bloody rooftops. do your friends all know about your kinks or your modeling? if so, more power to you. but you don't know shitfucks about me so end your pale attempts at painting me as a hypocrite.


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## exile in thighville (Oct 29, 2006)

Rebecca said:


> I don't think he seems like he wants to keep fat women from expressing themselves about being fat, so much as it burns his butt that a fat woman is being asked to jump through hoops and do tricks like a circus act just to justify her existence and also that she's willing to do it. Your point of view is that your presence might have a positive affect for other women. And you're right, it really might. But I also see how distasteful it might be to see people being treated like freaks especially for something you really and wholly want to be seen as 'normal' or at least simply accepted. I think you two are just coming from different places and it's just a matter of disagreeing, which adults can do.
> 
> I do find it disturbing that while he's bummed out that you're being put in a position where you'll need to defend who you are and what you do, he's very defensive about what he does and who he is. I don't think any preference is freakish if it's consensual and respectful. So don't take this as an attack on feeders/feedees; I have no problem with either role or act. But it seems to me that when people go on the offensive about your predilections, you have two choices--you can get defensive or you can tell them to f*ck off and ignore them. I feel bad that ANYONE--ie Dan or You--would feel the need to defend who they are and what they do in this way. Of course you have the right to do so but it sucks that you have to, that this _needs_ that kind of defense, that people can't just live and let live.



yeah. hey, i make no bones. you folks have turned me into an asshole. about this stuff anyway. i'll take credit for the rest. 

*returns to the foamy hibernation of boardless ether* :bow:


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## LoveBHMS (Oct 29, 2006)

Rebecca said:


> I don't think he seems like he wants to keep fat women from expressing themselves about being fat, so much as it burns his butt that a fat woman is being asked to jump through hoops and do tricks like a circus act just to justify her existence and also that she's willing to do it.



I don't really see where she and Nicki are "jumping through hoops." In fact, if you read the earlier post by Nicki, she points out that the producers are plus size women and that they are looking for other plus size women and FA's to be in the audience. There is so much resistence to what they are doing based on the fear that they are going to be exploited or made fools of or that this has to be some freak show situation. It's clear that both ladies have spoken with the producers and have worked to make damn sure it won't be like that. I also have zero doubt that should it become a "circus act", that both women would get up and leave. She mentioned upthread she's bringing her son with her, so that alone tells me she's made certain she won't be any kind of a circus act or freak show.

Is it possible, and even likely there will be some negativity? Sure, but all women of all sizes get that every day for every choice they make from the size of their bodies to Botox to how we dress. But I'd rather applaud these two for being strong and self confident and brave enough to go out and put themselves on stage to show what a confident and self assured woman looks like.

Funny thing happened to me last night that made me think of this. I am traveling for work and was in a bar. There was a small group next to me and one woman was talking about her son and how upset she was that he'd gained weight. She was prattling on and on about how big he was, pantomiming a big gut and saying "_his belly actually hangs over his belt_ in the same tone of voice typically used to say _he hasn't bathed for a month_ and at the end of her rant, she says with all the shock in the world, "And he doesn't even mind it! He doesn't CARE!!!!" Listening to her, I realized how funny it was that she was more horrified at the fact that he didn't care about being fat than the actual fat. Like it's terrible enough to be fat, but to NOT CARE about it is worse.


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## BBWDREAMLOVER (Oct 29, 2006)

dan ex machina said:


> again you pull up two completely different things that i said _out of context_ that may well be "in the same post" and yet (hey check this out) two different ideas. my friends all know i like fat women and don't care. beyond that, it's not their responsibility to accept me based on anything sexual about me because it's not their business. being a feeder is between me and my partner. theoretically if they found out i was a feeder i don't know what they'd think. if they changed their behavior towards me then yes, i'd stop being friends with them (the answer you were looking for?). but i can still accept myself without shouting it from the bloody rooftops. do your friends all know about your kinks or your modeling? if so, more power to you. but you don't know shitfucks about me so end your pale attempts at painting me as a hypocrite.


Yes my family and friends know about it all and give me all the love and emotional support I could ask for. 
From what I do know about you.............your not happy being you and thats my *personal opinion*.


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## BBWDREAMLOVER (Oct 29, 2006)

_I don't really see where she and Nicki are "jumping through hoops." In fact, if you read the earlier post by Nicki, she points out that the producers are plus size women and that they are looking for other plus size women and FA's to be in the audience. There is so much resistence to what they are doing based on the fear that they are going to be exploited or made fools of or that this has to be some freak show situation. It's clear that both ladies have spoken with the producers and have worked to make damn sure it won't be like that. I also have zero doubt that should it become a "circus act", that both women would get up and leave. She mentioned upthread she's bringing her son with her, so that alone tells me she's made certain she won't be any kind of a circus act or freak show.

Is it possible, and even likely there will be some negativity? Sure, but all women of all sizes get that every day for every choice they make from the size of their bodies to Botox to how we dress. But I'd rather applaud these two for being strong and self confident and brave enough to go out and put themselves on stage to show what a confident and self assured woman looks like._

*Thank you*


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## exile in thighville (Oct 29, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> lol what do you think insulting my intelligence will achieve??



it got me rep, for one. :doh:


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## Ample Pie (Oct 29, 2006)

Oh, I read earlier posts. I saw the story about this and the people running the show change and change and change again.

I hope the women aren't going to be put on display without regard to their feelings, but I can't say that I have much faith that they won't be. That doesn't mean I don't respect their right to choose to be there. I do. I still feel bad that the kind of exploitation some of us worry about does so often happen.


LoveBHMS said:


> I don't really see where she and Nicki are "jumping through hoops." In fact, if you read the earlier post by Nicki, she points out that the producers are plus size women and that they are looking for other plus size women and FA's to be in the audience. There is so much resistence to what they are doing based on the fear that they are going to be exploited or made fools of or that this has to be some freak show situation. It's clear that both ladies have spoken with the producers and have worked to make damn sure it won't be like that. I also have zero doubt that should it become a "circus act", that both women would get up and leave. She mentioned upthread she's bringing her son with her, so that alone tells me she's made certain she won't be any kind of a circus act or freak show.
> 
> Is it possible, and even likely there will be some negativity? Sure, but all women of all sizes get that every day for every choice they make from the size of their bodies to Botox to how we dress. But I'd rather applaud these two for being strong and self confident and brave enough to go out and put themselves on stage to show what a confident and self assured woman looks like.
> 
> Funny thing happened to me last night that made me think of this. I am traveling for work and was in a bar. There was a small group next to me and one woman was talking about her son and how upset she was that he'd gained weight. She was prattling on and on about how big he was, pantomiming a big gut and saying "_his belly actually hangs over his belt_ in the same tone of voice typically used to say _he hasn't bathed for a month_ and at the end of her rant, she says with all the shock in the world, "And he doesn't even mind it! He doesn't CARE!!!!" Listening to her, I realized how funny it was that she was more horrified at the fact that he didn't care about being fat than the actual fat. Like it's terrible enough to be fat, but to NOT CARE about it is worse.


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## RedVelvet (Oct 29, 2006)

dan ex machina said:


> not that i should have to reiterate this, but i doubt you've been through a dictionary in awhile:
> 
> fet-ish: any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion (as feederism does with the physical property of fatness)
> 
> ...





Dan is, frankly...one of my favorite people this board. He is HUGELY intelligent and articulate, and has managed to come to peace with something he still is conflicted with.

This, of course, makes me sad, in a way. Even though I am not personally a fan of feederism I find the idea that Dan would, on occation, feel bad about his orientation very sad. He has ZERO choice in the matter. None....so the idea of giving him shite about it.....something I used to do, now upsets me.

For me, at this point.....the only thing that concerns me about feeders are ones that go beyond playful fantasy and into the dark stuff...immobility. A circumstance so rare as to be statistically nil, and I dont let it get to me anymore.......

So.. its still not appealing to me....anymore than, say, fetishistic dressing of people as ponys and having them pull carts (a big thing in BDSM)...does absolutely nothing for me either, and in spite of the fact that I engage in a lot of practices that might be considered similar....

And ....well.....I was going to go into a long rant about the fucking difference between loving fat women and that intenal conflict...but Dan has said it beautifully, as always.... and then I was gonna speak of the damn show, which I still think is utterly exploitive...

But really I just wanted to support Dan here....not that he needs it...and not that he probably isnt ticked off at me anyway...but I respect him a lot...


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## BBWDREAMLOVER (Oct 29, 2006)

dan ex machina said:


> it got me rep, for one. :doh:


LMAO!! you must be so excited! 
Since being negative is the only thing your good at it you should be rewarded for it. CONGRATULATIONS!!


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## Mini (Oct 29, 2006)

In fairness to Dan, it *is* rather irksome to be labelled as a hypocrite when one is anything but.


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## BBWDREAMLOVER (Oct 29, 2006)

Mini said:


> In fairness to Dan, it *is* rather irksome to be labelled as a hypocrite when one is anything but.


I disagree but that's my own personal opinion  
*My personal opinion*....he needs help.


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## Renaissance Woman (Oct 29, 2006)

Mini said:


> In fairness to Dan, it *is* rather irksome to be labelled as a hypocrite when one is anything but.


Hypocrite!


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## Mini (Oct 29, 2006)

Renaissance Woman said:


> Hypocrite!



I'm IRKED!


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## RedVelvet (Oct 29, 2006)

BBWDREAMLOVER said:


> LMAO!! you must be so excited!
> Since being negative is the only thing your good at it you should be rewarded for it. CONGRATULATIONS!!




Note the emoticon....changing the entire meaning of the post. Subtle, but crucial.


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## LoveBHMS (Oct 29, 2006)

Rebecca said:


> Oh, I read earlier posts. I saw the story about this and the people running the show change and change and change again.
> 
> I hope the women aren't going to be put on display without regard to their feelings, but I can't say that I have much faith that they won't be. That doesn't mean I don't respect their right to choose to be there. I do. I still feel bad that the kind of exploitation some of us worry about does so often happen.



Remember the old Eleanor Roosevelt line about how nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent? I don't think anyone can exploit these ladies without their consent....and it has not been given. 

Neither Nicki nor Rhonda would allow it. Let's say worst case scenario the whole thing is a big setup. The producers have lied just to get these women to come on the show. Do you really believe either of them will crack under pressure? Because I don't. These are not Jerry Springer show type women who are just looking to get on TV. Without being too mercenary, Nicki's already been on VH1, she's not sitting there thinking how cool it would be to get on some talk show that few people have heard of.

On the other hand, what if the producers are sincere? What if they do want to show happy, sane, healthy BBW's? Both these women are going to know how to present themselves as confident adults who have made a choice about their bodies. An unusual choice? Sure. A choice for which they must receive daily criticism? Sure. But they are adult women who have chosen this path and are willing to defend it and explain it on broadcast television.

I still say many many of the viewers will be closet FA's.


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## Ample Pie (Oct 29, 2006)

and I think you're deluded if you believe that. Of course no one can make them feel inferior without their consent, but you're absolutely niave if you think that the show and its producers/host/creators etc can't tweak things and edit things and make the focus about these ladies needing to defend themselves.

And who's to say that the ripping on them, the degrading of them will be because they "break" at all, who's to say how things will be edited to look later? 

If the ladies themselves were doing the show, if they were in charge of the show, I wouldn't have concern at all. But they aren't. And the people who are don't seem to have their notions, ideas, and plans all hammered out anyway...so what's there to really trust there? 

Sorry, there's nothing but proof that these people aren't looking to exploit their guests and lie about it that's going to convince me that doing the show is a good idea.

I really really really hope that it is positive for the guests doing the show. I have infinite hope that it will be. I also have a healthy amount of cynicism.



LoveBHMS said:


> Remember the old Eleanor Roosevelt line about how nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent? I don't think anyone can exploit these ladies without their consent....and it has not been given.
> 
> Neither Nicki nor Rhonda would allow it. Let's say worst case scenario the whole thing is a big setup. The producers have lied just to get these women to come on the show. Do you really believe either of them will crack under pressure? Because I don't. These are not Jerry Springer show type women who are just looking to get on TV. Without being too mercenary, Nicki's already been on VH1, she's not sitting there thinking how cool it would be to get on some talk show that few people have heard of.
> 
> ...


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## LoveBHMS (Oct 29, 2006)

Gee. Thanks.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I think deluded is pushing it. I don't know either woman personally, but at least being familiar with Nicki's public persona, I think she is pretty media savvy. 

We've all seen Sally Jesse Raphael or Jerry Springer, but this just is not that type of venue. They aren't going to weigh them on stage or have audience members making barnyard sounds. 

What do you think the producers' goal would be? To try to make these women look unhappy? I don't see it working. 

To make them look like freaks? That's in the eye of the beholder. I have no doubt the audience response will range from "WTF are those women doing? I don't believe anyone would intentionally look like that. They must be insane" to "Hey, good for them, I wish I were that self confident" to a mild "Huh, that's interesting. I wouldn't do it, but hey, live and let live."

The most cynical I can get is to say I think their appearing on the show won't harm the SA movement. Right now, we all know being anti-fat is still acceptable, so can this make it worse? Some posters also continue to believe that these two ladies are somehow going to represent all fat people, and thus any viewer will see it and believe all fat women are just like them. I think that is also wrong, Rhonda has clearly said she is reprsenting herself and that's it.


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 29, 2006)

mossystate said:


> Yikes..your energy in that post bordered on the scary.You said you were captivated by this woman and then she turns into a 'bitch' because she had a preference for men who did not look like you..hmmmm.Reading your posts in this thread has me thinking that you are all about YOUR desires and if some women do not WANT what you desire for them..they are..insane..not confident..a pawn in someones fat-hating game..behind the gettin-fatter-times...close-minded.One of the posters here was right ...arrogant! Next time a feedee whips out a magazine filled with muscled men...you better run to a gym..give the woman what she wants..*L*
> 
> Anyway..back to the regularly scheduled thread....



And your post borders on the fuckin' retarded because you're passing judgment before you even heard the whole story. Darleen was wonderful at first, but she began to assume that something was wrong with me because I didn't lie to her, beat her, or dehumanize her like her previous boyfriends did. The relationship ended because of how distant she was becoming...not because she didn't want to gain weight. Strange thing was...she probably would have done it if it weren't for her mother's negative influence.


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## Ample Pie (Oct 29, 2006)

LoveBHMS said:


> Gee. Thanks.
> 
> Maybe I'm wrong, but I think deluded is pushing it. I don't know either woman personally, but at least being familiar with Nicki's public persona, I think she is pretty media savvy.
> 
> ...



The deluded comment was an if, then statement. Don't take it any further than that.

As far as knowing what the producers are up to, I can't. They don't even know.


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## mossystate (Oct 29, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> And your post borders on the fuckin' retarded because you're passing judgment before you even heard the whole story. Darleen was wonderful at first, but she began to assume that something was wrong with me because I didn't lie to her, beat her, or dehumanize her like her previous boyfriends did. The relationship ended because of how distant she was becoming...not because she didn't want to gain weight. Strange thing was...she probably would have done it if it weren't for her mother's negative influence.



Wow..*L* Yeah Bruce, I guess I could only go by the bile filled few posts you made about the evil bitch from hell..true.You certainly painted a picture of this woman not wanting to gain weight.You then stated you showed her the pictures of fat women, only because she wanted you to be all oiled and buff.I guess dehumanizing can mean different things to different people..hmmm.I might become distant if the man I was with wanted me to be something I wasn't and might not ever want to be, knowing that that was really what turned his crank.

Now, I am sure there will a gal who comes along and strokes your ego..bon appetite.

"fuckin' retarded"..oy


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## mossystate (Oct 29, 2006)

Rebecca said:


> The deluded comment was an if, then statement. Don't take it any further than that.
> 
> As far as knowing what the producers are up to, I can't. They don't even know.



I do agree with that last part..seems they need to decide the basic foundation for this program.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 29, 2006)

AtlasD said:


> Dan ex machina, I have to say this- when you showed your prospective lady friend a picture of another women (it doesn’t matter if it’s Heather Boyle or Paris Hilton)- you blew it big time. We have to love each other for what we are, and not what we want us to be.



Good point here..... being told you're nowhere fat enough is as bad as being told you're nowhere thin enough. This is how she could have equated it in her mind even if Bruce? Dan? didnt mean it that way. (even though he did state she was much smaller than he prefers) He essentially showed her she "wasn't enough" - that would hurt anyone and impair any relationship to some degree. 
I wouldnt like some guy riding my ass to lose weight all the time- so the reverse is true, as well.(not saying anyone did this, just making a point)


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 29, 2006)

mossystate said:


> Wow..*L* Yeah Bruce, I guess I could only go by the bile filled few posts you made about the evil bitch from hell..true.You certainly painted a picture of this woman not wanting to gain weight.You then stated you showed her the pictures of fat women, only because she wanted you to be all oiled and buff.



How about I paint a picture of you with your mouth taped shut? Because you're still not making any sense to me. According to you, it's fairgame for her to constantly compare me to substance-enhanced muscle men, and I'm wrong for showing her a picture of Heather Boyle. Talk about bile-filled posts...


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## SamanthaNY (Oct 29, 2006)

If the petty arguing and name-calling doesn't stop, the thread is going to be closed by the mods. 

Come to think of it, that might be a good idea at this point.


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 29, 2006)

I second that.


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## Blackjack (Oct 30, 2006)

SamanthaNY said:


> If the petty arguing and name-calling doesn't stop, the thread is going to be closed by the mods.
> 
> Come to think of it, that might be a good idea at this point.



Dammit Sam, you beat me to it.

Turdbrain.


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