# For Women Only: What Do You Wish Men Knew?



## rainyday (Feb 7, 2007)

If you're a man, stop! 

I'm making two of these threads, one for men and one for women. Men, just this once please let the women have their say without commenting. If each side knows they won't be attacked by the opposite sex for their words, maybe we'll get truer answers and might all learn something.

So women, what do you wish men knew about dating, about relationships, about interacting with you and about women in general? When you hear men talking, what do you wish you could tell them but never felt you could? Here's your chance.




Exception: Not everybody here is hetero-oriented, and Id like all to be part of the discussion. If youre male and attracted to men and theres something you wish other men knew, feel free to post in this thread.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Feb 7, 2007)

If you are not going to call - say so.


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## Ash (Feb 7, 2007)

Silence isn't always a sign of anger/sadness/general bitchyness. 

And when I *am* angry, sad, or just generally bitchy, you don't have to take it upon yourself to try to fix me.


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## liz (di-va) (Feb 7, 2007)

Something along the lines of: it's okay to say what you mean, say what you feel. Nothing's that scary that it can't be said, and disappearing hurts infinitely more than just saying the truth. You don't save anybody any pain that way, rather the opposite. (Not to mention, if you really love someone you will cause them pain at some times whether you want to or not.) 

On another level: do remember that not everyone who is expressive and affectionate is spending the rest of their time knitting blankets for their hope chest. Don't worry so much.

Also: y'all are delicious.


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## liz (di-va) (Feb 7, 2007)

Oh and also: I'd be happy to read the other thread! See what's to know!


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## rainyday (Feb 7, 2007)

liz (di-va) said:


> Something along the lines of: it's okay to say what you mean, say what you feel.



I'm with you. Even if it hurts I'd rather hear the truth.


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## fatgirlflyin (Feb 7, 2007)

If I come to you with a problem that doesn't neccessarily mean that I'm looking for you to fix said problem. Sometimes I just need a person to bounce my own ideas off of while trying to come up with my own solution.

Also, when a woman says she feels unimportant or unwanted an answer of "I'm here aren't I? If I wasn't happy I'd be somewhere else." just doesn't cut it. All that's going to do is make those insecure feelings worse.


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## rainyday (Feb 7, 2007)

1. The reason we ask a lot of questions isn't because we want to drive you up the wall. Honest.

2. All those little things you do everyday that show you care--the little kindnesses you do without us asking. Even if we forget to say so, we adore you for them. They're worth so much more than much showier things.

3. When you put stuff up on high cupboards we can't reach, inevitably the time we'll need it is when you're not around. 

4. Don't blow smoke up our skirts. We can sense insincerity a lot easier than you realize.

5. There are much bigger ones than this, but. . . When we call you for dinner, get your ass to the kitchen.


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## love dubh (Feb 7, 2007)

Hetero-oriented women can and do look at other men, and do find others attractive. Don't become a jealous monster over it. We all know that hetero-oriented men check women out too, yet that seems to be less problematic than a woman checking a guy out. Get over yourself, men.


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## BigCutieSasha (Feb 7, 2007)

For me it would be: 
1:I wish men knew how much a little extra effort with a girl would go. Sometimes just a random phone call or text saying you were thinking about her, or saw something funny and wanted to tell her. Not all girls need the whole nine yards. But yes, RRA (random romantic acts) mean more than I think guys know.

2: Some girls just like it simple and straight forward. 

3: When you are with a girl, don't take her for granted as though she will always be there. The next day is always a new day to show you care. (I actually dated a guy a long time ago who said he didn't need to try for me anymore because he already had me, so there was no need to impress.) 

4: Dont lie! Being honest is always best policy. Plus karma will bite you in the ass, because we usually have ways of finding stuff out even when you think your tracks are covered.

5: Don't cheat. If you feel you are going to want to be with another woman, or man, whatever, tell us and break it off first (being honest). Don't make us look like a fool.

6: Understand that we have hormones that we can't always control. Its not always your fault when we are upset, so you don't have to fix us. Just be there for us if we want that.

lol Im sure there are others but those are my big ones.


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## LoveBHMS (Feb 7, 2007)

1. This tweaks Sandie's a little bit, but *don't say you're going to call and not do it.*

2. If you're not interested, that is fine. I won't open a vein over you, but once you know you're not interested, don't lead me on or keep calling me or email me just to stay in touch.

3. If you do something wrong, don't try to turn the situation around and focus on my reaction to what you did. In other words, if you show up a hour late, I'm going to get angry. Don't then tell me that I'm overreacting or that you hate it when I get so worked up over nothing or that you don't like it when I yell and I'm ruining our evening by shouting at you.

4. It is fine for me to need reassurance about your feelings.

5. Whatever your last girlfriend or wife did to you wasn't my fault and is not representative of all women.

6. Don't complain to me about problems you're not working to change.

7. Dont' try to see what you can get away with as far as being a jerk. Don't push the envelope just to see if you can or to see how much I like you.

8. Not all women play games. Most of us are straighforward, honest, and respectful and hope you'll be the same way.

9. You are not less of a man for apologizing. If I ask you to do something and you do it, you are not "whipped." Everything is not a power struggle.


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## BigCutieSasha (Feb 7, 2007)

rainyday said:


> 5. There are much bigger ones than this, but. . . When we call you for dinner, get your ass to the kitchen.



lol I love this woman  And I agree.


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## MisticalMisty (Feb 7, 2007)

1. Don't make promises you can not keep. Instead, say I will try. If you use the words "I promise" I expect a complete and total follow through.

2. If you make plans with me and get cold feet, have a change of heart, something comes up, LET ME KNOW. Don't just stand me up. I'm worthy of a phone call, text message, im, email. If this wasn't 2007, I would understand. However, everyone is overly accessible and the bullshit about not being able to get in touch with me isn't going to fly.

3. If YOU initiate contact with me, either continue the contact or let me know that you are no longer interested in communicating. Do NOT just fall off the planet. It's rude.

4. When chatting with me for the first time, do not immediately ask my stats. Ask my name, show interest in who I am as a person, not just my body.

5. I'm not a mind reader either. I will give you time to cool off, rage, any of those things. However, if the problem is ME..please tell me so I can assess the issue and see if there was a misunderstanding on either of our parts.

6. If we are dating, I don't expect to hear from you everyday. However, I do expect to hear from you a couple of times a week. One of those times needs to be a phone call. Communication is key to a successful relationship.

I have more..lol..will post later


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## calauria (Feb 7, 2007)

Sometimes, really, get over yourselves!


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## Carrie (Feb 7, 2007)

Interesting how many of us agree that it's the little things that matter so much to us. 

Some guys get it. 

Honestly, guys, this kind of thing makes us positively _swoon_. :wubu:


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## SamanthaNY (Feb 7, 2007)

Honestly, the disappearing-thing is really my only general beef with men. And in my limited experience -there's very few guys who _don't_ do it (thankfully I got one of 'em). 

What the hell is with that, anyway? Something isn't going their way, so they just... fade away? Do they actually think we don't notice? Are they that infantile about control issues that they think they can take their toys and go home... then show up months later expecting us to play with them like nothing's happened? The excuses are always lame "um, I forgot I had another girlfriend"; "I couldn't find a phone" (for THREE weeks??); "I was in Vegas"... and yet they cling to them and defend them vehemently instead of just telling the truth - which is often that they were just feeling too pressured.

So here's what I'd say: 

Grow a pair. Take responsibility for your actions and tell a girl what's going on in your head. If you wanna go... go! But have the courage to inform the person before you do.


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## saucywench (Feb 7, 2007)

To rainy, for creating this thread.

To Ashley, for: 
Silence isn't always a sign of anger/sadness/general bitchyness. 

And when I *am* angry, sad, or just generally bitchy, you don't have to take it upon yourself to try to fix me.

To Ella, for:
If I come to you with a problem that doesn't neccessarily mean that I'm looking for you to fix said problem. Sometimes I just need a person to bounce my own ideas off of while trying to come up with my own solution.

To Sasha, for:
6: Understand that we have hormones that we can't always control. Its not always your fault when we are upset, so you don't have to fix us. Just be there for us if we want that.

To Love BHMS, for:
5. Whatever your last girlfriend or wife did to you wasn't my fault and is not representative of all women.
---
I'll have more to say later--something that requires more effort than copy and paste.


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## JoyJoy (Feb 7, 2007)

Women can have passionate feelings about something without it automatically meaning we're going through PMS. But you know what? Even when we are, we can't help how nature affects us, so making comments about it is only going to make things worse for you.


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## activistfatgirl (Feb 7, 2007)

That I feel deeply sorry for you that you don't even have the ability to cry when its really clear that you want to and need to.


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## calauria (Feb 7, 2007)

Not to wake me up when I'm sleeping.


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## calauria (Feb 7, 2007)

OH!! I just thought of something else!!

Fellas, just say what you mean and mean what you say and stop fucking around with it.


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## MisticalMisty (Feb 7, 2007)

The rest..lol

7. I’m a super sized woman. If you find that I’m your ideal woman in your fantasies, but yet can’t quite bring it upon yourself to date me. Leave me alone. I don’t need you to waste my time.

8. Again, I am a super sized woman. You have to be open to changes in plans and please be flexible. If we get to a restaurant that can’t accommodate me, please don’t make a scene, that doesn’t help matters. You have to be aware that there are places that I don’t fit and plans may need to change quickly. 

9. If you are not open about your preference to your family and friends and feel the need to hide me, that won’t fly. I am not dumb and will realize what is happening and we will have a state of the union address. I am a loud and proud fat girl and I’ll be damned if I date anyone who is remotely ashamed to be with me.

10. Finally, a relationship is give and take. I am one of the most loving and giving individuals you will meet. I am very compassionate and caring. If I am your girlfriend, I will be a friend, a lover, a confidant, and someone you can share your hopes and dreams. I will respect you. I will not lie or purposely hurt you. I will rejoice in your successes and help ease the agony of your defeats. However, I am no doormat and I expect to be treated with dignity and respect. I expect you to value my individuality and I will honor yours as well.


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## Carrie (Feb 7, 2007)

Don't put me up on a pedestal. The look in your eyes, the tone of your voice when I come tumbling down shreds me to my core. Don't worship me - I don't want to be worshipped. Instead, _love_ me, for all my idiosyncracies, faults and foibles. At the end of the day, I'm just a girl.


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## AnnMarie (Feb 7, 2007)

I'm single and looking. 














_(oh....and all the stuff the girls before me mentioned, too)_


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## BigBeautifulMe (Feb 7, 2007)

If there is a problem with the relationship, _speak up_ and give me a chance to work on it with you. Don't keep it bottled up inside for over a year and then break up with me because I never read your mind and tried to solve it. Just as you're not mind readers, neither are we.

Do NOT get angry or annoyed with us when we cry about something! That is the worst possible response you could have. If you're going to claim to be the "rational, logical" gender, then BE rational and logical and realize that our body chemistry is different and we are going to cry when we are upset. Don't ask us to be rational and logical at those moments in time. If you want that, date another man. 

If you want us to STOP crying, then don't try to solve our problem - some problems can't be solved. Comfort us, embrace us, tell us you love us and you're not going anywhere. If we want a solution, we'll ask.

Cleaning and cooking are not woman's work, they are the work of both people in the household, _especially_ if we're both working.

Don't treat us differently around your buddies than you do when it's just you and I. Okay, you don't have to call me "schnookie wookums" when you're around your buds, but don't suddenly start acting as if you don't care about me. That just shows me what an ass you are, and I'm not going to put up with that for long.


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## activistfatgirl (Feb 7, 2007)

If you ever want to date a woman like me, don't assume I'm like other women, and don't assume you're like other men, or that there are perfect delineations of what each should be.

And you get bonus points with women like me if you: like boys, would kiss a boy, are open, have feelings, and don't say things like "all men act like this".


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## Carrie (Feb 7, 2007)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Do NOT get angry or annoyed with us when we cry about something! That is the worst possible response you could have. If you're going to claim to be the "rational, logical" gender, then BE rational and logical and realize that our body chemistry is different and we are going to cry when we are upset. Don't ask us to be rational and logical at those moments in time. If you want that, date another man.



Thank you. I've never understood this mentality - I think it's the same as me telling a man TO cry, in order for us to have a conversation. Sure, I think some women overdo it and turn on the waterworks in order to manipulate, but believing that that's why we all do it is just kind of sad. We get wound up, we get emotional, and it has to go somewhere - voila! Tears. 

Men may find it annoying occasionally, understandably, but asking us to be what we're simply NOT is unreasonable. I wouldn't ask my mate to yell, or cry in order to express himself. If his style is to remain calm and logical and rational during times of stress, fine, I respect that. I would expect him to respect the way I express myself, as well, and not ask me to change. Edited to add: however, just as there are extremes in crying, there are extremes of the logical/rational thing, too! Both are bad. 

I've always found gender differences fascinating. Writing this, I'm sitting here wondering to myself if the whole crying thing *is* a product of our biology, or a product of our upbringing, or both. Little girls are expected to cry. Little boys are taught not to cry, and to be stoic and tough. So is the fact that we tend to cry when we get upset just a by-product of our being raised to feel like it's okay? Is it just a matter of feeling comfortable enough with expressing an emotion that outwardly that makes women more likely to cry? And for guys, are they just so "trained" that it's NOT okay, that it's practically inconceivable? I don't know, though I lean towards thinking it's a 50/50 mix of nature vs. nurture. 

I love thinking about this stuff.


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## missaf (Feb 7, 2007)

1- Every woman is different, and has her own built-in "I am a Woman" manual that you need to take the time to observe and decode. Don't stereotype us all together.

2- I like to be friends first, but don't ever assume that being friends ends the road to a more intimate and forever relationship.

3- If your girl's a Tomboy, don't forget she still likes to be made to feel like a woman. After she washes off the axel grease, she still might like to snuggle and be passionately pampered.


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## babyjeep21 (Feb 7, 2007)

I don't really consider myself a difficult person. I'm clear about what I need and what I want when I'm in a relationship.

I like having something to look forward to and I'm absolutely giddy when a man follows through after saying he's going to do something.

What I don't need, is to hear the word "*soon*". When a man says "soon", that doesn't give me a clear answer. I know that it's not intentionally evasive; but, it doesn't give me security, doesn't give me something to look forward to, it doesn't really do anything for me... Sometimes, I think men use the word "soon" as a way to pacify a woman.

I don't mean to be anal... I just need a little something extra. And maybe that's not a bad thing.


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## Tina (Feb 7, 2007)

I think one of the biggest problems between the sexes is when each gender expects the other to behave like them. Men and woman simply are wired differently, for the most part. Some break the mold, but many do not. If you want a woman who acts like a man when it comes to issues of emotion and such, date a guy. Likewise for the women.


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## Carrie (Feb 7, 2007)

babyjeep21 said:


> What I don't need, is to hear the word "*soon*".



Yeah. I'm not too crazy about "soon", myself.


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## Jane (Feb 7, 2007)

Guys, I think you all know this, but: Once you really open up and show that you analyze SOME things just as thoroughly as we do, don't try to play the "I want, I grunt" card. That works, Not So Much Anymore.

When I ask you "What's Wrong" more than once, guess what, I've figured out that something is wrong. No, it may not be me (which you can say). If it's work, you can say, "Work." I'll offer to help, you say its something you have to work out. Voila...we know what is going on, it's nothing we've done, and we get that same, "Whew" reaction you do when you find out it's not you that's bothering us. 

I don't care if you cry, I won't think less of you (I'm not your Uncle Bobby telling you to buck up and quit acting like a girl). Just leave most of your baggage at the door, and come on in. ....That's what the ladies were saying when commenting about old girlfriends, exwives and the like.

I am a strong, confident woman who really likes who I am. And, yes, there are times I will need reassurance. We all do. YOU do...

You're not my father. I had one, I loved him, you are not him. Don't try to act like my you are my daddy, and we'll get a long for more than 2 minutes.

Basically, I love men. I like the look of them, the smell of them, the maleness of them.


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## Carrie (Feb 7, 2007)

Don't try to be a superhero for me. It's admirable that you want to be the best version of YOU that you can be for me, but don't push me away because you feel like you don't deserve me until you reach your goals. I'm dating you, not your potential. Let me help you make that journey, and you can help me with mine.


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## babyjeep21 (Feb 7, 2007)

Carrie said:


> Don't try to be a superhero for me. It's admirable that you want to be the best version of YOU that you can be for me, but don't push me away because you feel like you don't deserve me until you reach your goals. I'm dating you, not your potential. Let me help you make that journey, and you can help me with mine.



Can I just get down and worship you for this post right now (even though you stated that you don't want to be worshipped in a previous post)?


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Feb 7, 2007)

As a married woman this is what I want men (who are not my husband) to know:

I'm married - I love my husband - don't come on to me.

Don't tell me you just want friendship from me and the first chance you get - kiss me or grab my ass - or tell me you love me and want to make love to me. Please. If you are just my friend you will respect my marriage and our friendship.

I love having male friends. But, telling me how beautiful I am and telling me how sexy I am every single time we talk is out of bounds.

Be just my friend - if you wouldn't do it to your guy friends don't do it to me.

The sad part of this for me is if you are important to me and I love you as a friend - all of the things I listed will lead me to ending our friendship. And it will break my heart. If you really do love me - why would you want to hurt me???


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## calauria (Feb 7, 2007)

1. Don't get all Dr. Phil on me when I vent about a problem. I know you are trying to help, but I only need your support, In other words shut up and listen. LOL!!

2. Did I mention don't bother me while I'm sleeping? LOL!!

3. Don't make me give up my girls night or weekend out!! We ain't thinking about men around that time, so find something to occupy yourself!! LOL!!

4. Don't expect me to iron your clothes, cuz I ain't doing it. I don't iron my own clothes. I hang them up as soon as the dry stops. I'll do that for you though.:wubu: 

5. When you're having male PMS, I'm disappearing until it subsides, cuz I'm not trying to hear it.

6. I'm not about to argue with no man.

7. I'm not about to argue with no man.

8. I'm not about to argue with no man. That's too much stress!!! LOL!!


I think I'll have more later!! LOL!!


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## Carrie (Feb 7, 2007)

babyjeep21 said:


> Can I just get down and worship you for this post right now (even though you stated that you don't want to be worshipped in a previous post)?



I said I didn't want to be worshipped by men. Women, sure. Worship away. :batting:


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## fatgirlflyin (Feb 7, 2007)

Its ok if you want to cry, I'm capable of being strong enough for the both of us. 

Its ok for you to show fear, I can be brave.

Its ok for you to be silly sometimes. I can be silly right along with you or I can be the level headed one.

And you know when we go out to eat? Its ok to order for me (I'm one of the wierd girls that like that). Because when you order correctly and you order what I like it shows me that you listen, that you pay attention to my likes, and my dislikes. That makes me feel all girly, and sometimes feeling that way, that's just kinda nice...


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## ripley (Feb 7, 2007)

Self-esteem:


Just because I don't spend all day telling everyone how hot I am doesn't mean I have bad self-esteem. Some of us just have a quieter (and in my opinion, more genuine) self-image.

Don't assume that if I make a self-deprecating remark (usually 'cause I think it sounds funny) that I have bad self-esteem.

Just because there might be something about myself that I don't like, doesn't mean I think I'm not sexy, or worthwhile.

I like genuine compliments. But don't try to "save" me or enlighten me or prop me up with your compliments. I hear in the other thread (haha rainyday, got around your "For Men Only" rule) "don't try to change me"....well, don't try to change me either, even if in your opinion it's for the better.



Chat Interaction:


Don't PM me and say the exact same thing you've said to the last ten girls you've messaged on the sidebar. I'm an individual, and bulk mailings aren't the way to go. Say something that makes me think you see me as an individual.

You make me feel like crap when you PM me and then tell me how hot some other woman's pic is on the sidebar, or how sexy you find some paysite woman.

"I wish I could rub your belly" is a skeevy thing to say to a stranger. Period.




Random things:


Sometimes I cry. You don't _have_ to do anything, solve anything, fix anything, or feel guilty about anything when I cry, but it would be nice if you hugged me and said "Shhh, it's okay." It's one of those little things that will make me love you. Sometimes girls just gotta cry.

Don't put in so much effort in the beginning to make me love you if it's not things you want to keep doing. I get used to it, and then when you stop I feel like everything has changed, and feel ignored or unloved.

Just because I need reassurance that you love me sometimes doesn't mean I doubt you; it means I doubt myself. I need to know you still find me interesting and sexy.

Sometimes I'm irrational. I know that. Just try to ride it out the best you can.  If you want someone completely rational all the time...well, that's not me.


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## liz (di-va) (Feb 7, 2007)

SamanthaNY said:


> Honestly, the disappearing-thing is really my only general beef with men. And in my limited experience -there's very few guys who _don't_ do it... What the hell is with that, anyway? Something isn't going their way, so they just... fade away? Do they actually think we don't notice?



I have a theory, a very deeply-held pet theory, that Disappearing, like much (to be honest) hurtful male behavior, has its roots in the chivalrous instinct gone awry. They don't wanna be the ones to hurt you; they're supposed to be the ones _saving_ you. Helping you. So they _*can't handle it*_. When stuff happens that makes them mad at you, or things are unmanageable, or whatever. It doesn't make this behavior any easier, especially over the age of, say, 18, when you should maybe know better, but I think that's where it comes from. It's what makes Southern men, therefore, especially tricky  (if you ask me). Have seen it happen quite a bit ("seen" = had it break my heart! but not just me).

That's my theory and I'm stickin to it. I think. Just not sure what to _do_ about it...


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## Butterbelly (Feb 7, 2007)

I just want to say, I love this thread. I can't wait to see what the men have written in their thread. 

1. Do NOT ever underestimate me. Just because you think you're pulling a fast one on me doesn't mean I didn't know about it long before.

2. If you care about me and for me...say it, don't assume that I already know that. I like hearing it.

3. Don't try to change me. Either you like me or you don't, you can't mold me into the person you'd "like" to be with.

4. I'm a complex being. I know I can be difficult at times, but don't constantly rub that in my face. You can get further with me in a conversation if your tone is positive and not negative.

5. Whatever you do...DO NOT roll your eyes at me when I'm speaking about something important.

6. If I blow up about something, I'll be fine in five minutes. Just give me a hug and reassure me.

7. If I'm an important person if your life (girlfriend, significant other) don't hide me from the other important people in your life. That can kill someone's self-esteem in an instant.

8. If I ask you for your advice that's one thing...otherwise, I don't want it.

9. Men...do NOT ever think you can date multiple women and try and keep it a secret. We're not that stupid!

10. Don't list the things that you find wrong in me without examing yourself first. There is nothing worse than someone being critical of you. I'm hard enough on myself...I don't need your help.

11. Respect me and I will respect you.

12. If I give you an inch, don't you dare think about taking a mile. I'm too quick for that shit. (see #1)

13. I like my space and privacy...I'm not being evasive, I'm being me. If I feel something is important enough to tell you, I will...otherwise, stay out of my business.

14. And for God's sake...if I'm dating you, at least make an effort to come visit me. I hate it when I have to be the one driving to see you all the time. There is NO excuse for that (unless your carless).

15. Last and not least...damnit, pick up the phone and call me. Surprise me with a phone call from you. Don't make me call you all the time. Show me that you care enough to hear my voice, know what's going on in my life, and reassure me that you're there and thinking of me.


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## Tooz (Feb 7, 2007)

I didn't read all of these, but for me, here are two I thought of right off:

1: Please don't compare me with other females or pass off things I do as female things. It can be a problem because I've never fit in with other women, and this a) reminds me of it and b) makes me feel very factory-issued and un-special.

2: Compliment me (complement?)! It makes an impression on me if it's sincere.


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## SamanthaNY (Feb 7, 2007)

If you act one way with me, when we're alone together... and then completely different (i.e., aloof and stand-offish, or clingy and overbearing) when we're around your friends or other people? 

Bad sign. 

If we're riding in the car on a nice day - and you stop by the side of the road to pick wildflowers for me from an open field? 

Good sign. Good, good sign.


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## RedVelvet (Feb 7, 2007)

1. I understand....deeply understand, that when I cry it pushes unconscious buttons of shame for you....My crying often makes you feel as if you are failing me, or are inadequate. But, you need to understand you are wrong...My crying is an involuntary act..I cry when I am pissed and frustrated more than when I am sad. I am not trying to manipulate you. If I could NOT cry, I would.

2. You, on the other hand? You get to cry more...if you can. I understand if you cant.

3. The lovely, small thoughtful things you do for me ARE a lovely way of saying you love me..and I know you feel actions speak louder than words....but....I need the words too.

4. When you give me unsolicited advice I feel small.

5. Yes, I am a badass...this doesnt mean that I don't have moments of crippling insecurity.

6. I am scared of commitment too....All smart people should be. The trick is to know the difference between a respectful fear of commitment and a pathological one.

7. Disappearing? That is some kinda pussy shite. Its human....but man....what a pussy you are!

8. There is a difference between "men" and "guys". 

9. Some women LOVE gender roles...especially when tempered by emotional intelligence..

10. There is a difference between being a "man who loves women" and a "man who loves to fuck women"....we can tell, btw..

11. If you arent sure if you need a shower or not...you do.

12. Messy houses are not charming after age 22.

13. I love you more than you know, and would do anything for you.


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## ashmamma84 (Feb 7, 2007)

Communicate, communicate, communicate. I can't read your mind...I am your partner, not your psychic. If there's a problem, it can't be fixed until it's acknowledged. 

Crying is not a sign of weakness - it's a sign that you trust me enough to open up and be vunerable. You are a human too, and there's nothing wrong with being in touch with your feelings.

I am your lover, not your maid. Become familiar with the trash can, washer/dryer and mop/broom.

Do not mistake my kindness for weakness. Just because I make your dinner and do your laundry, doesn't mean it's what I'm SUPPOSED to do...

Love me for who I am, not what I have to potential to become. Let's enjoy the here and now.


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## Donna (Feb 7, 2007)

For the love of everything holy, please, please:

1. Put the toilet seat down
2. Rinse your beard trimmings out of the sink
3. Put the top back on the milk
4. Don't leave the tuna fish out on the counter 
5. No man has ever died while running the vac, loading the dishwasher or mopping a floor

In all seriousness, though, I have to agree with a lot of what you ladies have written. You've said it far better than I ever could, so I resorted to cheap humor. :blush: I will add my own serious one, though. Simply because I consider myself a bit of a feminist, does not mean that I do not adore and appreciate the girly things in life. One can be soft and tough, dear.


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## kerrypop (Feb 7, 2007)

ripley said:


> Chat Interaction:
> 
> 
> Don't PM me and say the exact same thing you've said to the last ten girls you've messaged on the sidebar. I'm an individual, and bulk mailings aren't the way to go. Say something that makes me think you see me as an individual.



AHHH do you remember the days of 

...a/s/l?


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Feb 7, 2007)

Men's Guide to Dating Me:

The one thing I do not accept, under and circumstances, is someone doing something "for my own good" behind my back. I will find out, and I will make you pay. You have to sleep sometime.

I'm a big fan of vengeance. You fuck me over, and the lack of patience I exhibit in every other area of my life is made up for in this one. I'll wait years, decades if I have to in order to pay you back. Misery has no statute of limitations; I can dole it out whenever is convenient to me.


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## MisticalMisty (Feb 7, 2007)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Men's Guide to Dating Me:
> 
> The one thing I do not accept, under and circumstances, is someone doing something "for my own good" behind my back. I will find out, and I will make you pay. You have to sleep sometime.
> 
> I'm a big fan of vengeance. You fuck me over, and the lack of patience I exhibit in every other area of my life is made up for in this one. I'll wait years, decades if I have to in order to pay you back. Misery has no statute of limitations; I can dole it out whenever is convenient to me.



Are you a scorpio?  Kidding..lol..




Well..are you?


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Feb 7, 2007)

Now I am 1000% sure I love you completely!!!:wubu: 






TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Men's Guide to Dating Me:
> 
> The one thing I do not accept, under and circumstances, is someone doing something "for my own good" behind my back. I will find out, and I will make you pay. You have to sleep sometime.
> 
> I'm a big fan of vengeance. You fuck me over, and the lack of patience I exhibit in every other area of my life is made up for in this one. I'll wait years, decades if I have to in order to pay you back. Misery has no statute of limitations; I can dole it out whenever is convenient to me.


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## LillyBBBW (Feb 7, 2007)

Be direct when making plans together. If you prefer to go off with friends or your plans have changed tell us so that we can make other plans. We have lives too. 

Stop putting yourself down by wondering why we're with you. We're with you because we think you are totally cool. :wubu: And stop courting this fear that we'll dump you for someone better. It is its own self fulfilling prophecy.

Chicks cry. Sometimes for no reason. No one knows why. It's some kind of built in stress equilizer or something, I don't know - and some have it worse than others. It's not intentional so don't hurt yourself getting too bothered over it. Just let it pass.


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## SparklingBBW (Feb 7, 2007)

If you wouldn't swallow it, then don't expect me to either. Jus sayin! :eat2:


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## BBWTexan (Feb 7, 2007)

Here's just what I could think of offhand. Additionally, there might be women who share these sentiments, but they really apply to me specifically:

I'm not any other woman that you've ever encountered in your entire life. If you're interested in getting to know me, do just that and don't assume that I have the same needs and behaviors as anyone else.

Don't assume I can't handle the truth - no matter what it might be. I might not like it, but I'd rather know it now instead of finding out later. And, for the record, I *Can* handle it. I didn't get this far not being able to handle things.

What you guys do is not so mysterious. It may sound funny to you, but there is a weird women's intuition that we have and we can usually tell when you're up to something... and even then we can usually figure out what it is you're up to. It's the 'why' you do those things that we don't understand.

Just because I'm a relatively confident and independent woman doesn't mean that I don't sometimes want to feel 'soft.' And when I do get like that, there's no need to freak out - I'll be back to normal in no time.

I'm just not much of a cryer when it involvs my own issues. Unless it's an unusual circumstance, I won't cry when I get upset about personal things, but I will bawl like a little baby at the end of the movie version of Casper. I'm just sentimental like that.

Get to me intellectually, hit my funny bone. The "nice" things are just that and although I appreciate them when they're genuine, they aren't the way to my heart or my soul.

Please don't ever do anything for me that you think you have to/need to do. Do things for me because you want to. A backrub or a gentle touch will get you farther than flowers any day of the week. 

And, despite all of your quirks (I have my own as well), I'm a big fan. I like the men folk.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Feb 7, 2007)

Genarose54 said:


> If you wouldn't swallow it, then don't expect me to either. Jus sayin! :eat2:




OK but I'm not sure which is more gross --- swallowing or spitting. 
(and no I am not going to be the first to say which I do):huh:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 7, 2007)

1. I am more than my tits and ass- this body encloses a soul and mind so tread carefully. 

2. Don't ever ridicule me, make me feel guilty, make me feel like I'm not entitled to, or crazy for feeling/thinking how I do. Respect my thoughts and feelings- they are every bit as important as yours.
If I cry, don't try to make it seem like I'm manipulating you. Let me have my feelings and say what I'm trying to say- if you do this for me, then when you're angry and punching the wall, I won't stop you to call you manipulative. 

3. We are on equal ground- what's good for the gander is good for the goose. I don't do "double standards". If it's okay for you to have female friends and go out with the guys whenever you choose, then it's the same for me. Pretty simple concept....
If I have worked all day just like you, then I don't feel like cooking, cleaning etc. any more than you do- however, I do it so don't give me shit and help me when I ask for it. 

4. If you want me to act like a lady, then be a gentleman.

5. Don't be a p*ssy- I'm interested in a man- not a boy that can't face the consequences of what he has done. I expect you to be as strong as I am.

6. See me as another human being like yourself- I'm not some alien being just because of our differences.

7. The title of Dad is an important role- treat it as such.

8. If you don't support your children from a previous relationship, then don't ask me out. If you are unable to give a damn about your own children, I'm not foolish enough to think that you can care for me.


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## Donna (Feb 7, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> OK but I'm not sure which is more gross --- swallowing or spitting.
> (and no I am not going to be the first to say which I do):huh:



More humour....What's the difference between like, love and showing off?








Like = Spitting

Love = Swallowing

Showing off = Gargling


please God, someone laugh at my crass joke


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Feb 7, 2007)

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  







Donnaalicious said:


> More humour....What's the difference between like, love and showing off?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## herin (Feb 7, 2007)

I agree with alot of what the ladies posted here, but here are a few of my own. (maybe they were others' too, i dunno)

1. I cry when I'm sad. I cry when I'm angry. Hell, sometimes I even cry when I'm happy. I guess I'm just leaky. 

2. Once a month, for a few days I will act like a psycho meanie. It's called PMS. Never ever ask me if it that time of the month. 

3. I love how protective you are of me.

4. If you want me come and get me. If you say you are going to call me, then call me. Please don't lead me on.

5. It's the little things that matter. 

6. If what I cooked tastes like crap, tell me. If I think you like it, I will cook it again and in greater quantities. :doh:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 7, 2007)

oh I want to add another...

Don't do something stupid that you know is going to piss me off, then when I get angry say "you must be on your period"
Don't blow me off and act like my anger is unreasonable - especially when I have made it clear what's bothering me.


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## babyjeep21 (Feb 7, 2007)

Don't worry about trying to understand me...

99% of the time, I don't even understand myself.

Just be there. Listen.

You know what is nice? When I get to hear your voice.

Yeah... it's fun to talk on the computer and send text messages. But, (once again) that only does so much for me. I need to hear your voice... it's masculinity, it's tenderness. I don't expect to talk to you or see you every day... But hearing your voice just gives me a special feeling. Don't you want to be able to make me feel like that with just a few minutes of your time?


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## rainyday (Feb 7, 2007)

herin said:


> 2. Once a month, for a few days I will act like a psycho meanie. It's called PMS. Never ever ask me if it that time of the month.



I have a friend who keeps a statue on her coffee table. When the statue faces one way, the seas are calm. The days of the month when it faces the other way, her hubby knows that means proceed at your peril. Eliminates him having to ask. I thought it was pretty funny when she explained it.


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## Eclectic_Girl (Feb 8, 2007)

rainyday said:


> I have a friend who keeps a statue on her coffee table. When the statue faces one way, the seas are calm. The days of the month when it faces the other way, her hubby knows that means proceed at your peril. Eliminates him having to ask. I thought it was pretty funny when she explained it.



Because if he asks and it's not true, we get pissed at him for being a dick.

And if he asks and it is true, we get pissed at him for being right.

The only good time for a man to ask "Are you on your period?" is when he's offering to go get the heating pad.


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## Sweet Tooth (Feb 8, 2007)

*I'm a big girl. I can handle it. I might get mad, but I might actually respect you more [perhaps the only salvaging thing] if you just grow some balls and be honest with me. 

*If I cry, it's because I'm upset or frustrated. It's not a personal attack. You don't need to fix me. Simply allow my emotions to exist. Let me vent. I appreciate your opinion, and I will take it into consideration if it's thoughtful, but that's only part of what I need to get through a difficult time. It's not like tears are poisonous.  

*When I have PMS, I'm not dreaming up new complaints out of nowhere. My emotions are simply more at the forefront, so there's less for them to get through before they come spewing out of my mouth. Don't say I don't really feel that way. 

*Chocolates are great gifts [if you don't go bargain bin on me]. Flowers are beautiful [though know the ones I like, not just the ones that are common to give any woman]. But sometimes, I like gadgets just as much as you do. Take me to Best Buy and I'll adore you. 

*If you spill something, wipe it up. This goes for kitchens, garages, and bathrooms, especially. 

*We're not incompetent. Sometimes we know you need to feel useful, and that's why we ask you to do something we know perfectly well we could do ourselves. 

*When we don't like a guy, we still try to be nice. We like having guy friends, too. Since we're all about relationships, don't assume we want to date you simply because we didn't blow you off immediately. 

*There is really, REALLY no need to be jealous of our gay male friends when they grab our breasts. They're simply curious. It's nothing sexual. 

*After a fight, I may need some time to process things and think about things. Should you be scared? Perhaps. But I have a right to examine my feelings and process new information, and you don't have a right to demand I give an answer immediately.

*Every once in a while, I have a dream where you screw up big time. It might be kissing my best friend or something equally as horrible. The next day, I will be upset. It's silly, but my emotions were affected even if my mind knows it's some story line from the TV show I watched too late the night before.

*Yes, we do need lipstick in 17 different shades of pink. It's a small way of making ourselves feel better. Don't seek to understand, just appreciate the results. 

*Sometimes, we just need someone to go above and beyond for us. It's not testing you. It's not training you. It's just a need to be special enough to be worthy of a grand gesture... and then you need to let us know we're special enough to be worthy of a grand gesture by DOING the grand gesture. We're not mind readers either.

*Consider me a set of pearls. I don't want to be locked in a safe like a valuable jewel while you take the paste copy out in public. I'm most lustrous when worn. That's when my full beauty comes through. Need an interpretation of this metaphor? It means, let me live and be real, fully engaging in and participating in life with you. Don't stick me up on a pedestal, suddenly thinking less of me when I prove I'm human just like you. Accept me as an imperfect, but beautiful, creation.


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## BitsyAintMyName (Feb 8, 2007)

Everything isn't a race or competition. You don't have to prove anything to me and I hate that some things tend to get down to a pissing contest. Even the most considerate of men end up doing it without realizing it. Example, I became a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament organizer and judge so there could be official tournaments at my fav card store and when I told my friend Chris he immediately did the same thing. He just didn't want to be outdone by me. My brother is always competing to do incredibly dumb/mundane things like answer the phone or see who's at the door. He doesn't know that I don't care and that his "races" are only for his benefit. He's 9 and I'm 23 btw. I wish men were competing to ask me out. That's my idea of healthy and productive competition.

Also, if you like a woman you need to make yourself clear. A woman could get the wrong idea if you do alot of nice stuff for her or just act overly friendly and then not say you like her. Stop staring if you're not going to do anything. When people stare at me its for 1 of 2 reasons: 1. I'm fat(and I don't care) or 2. I'm talking to myself(I have ADD and its how I remember stuff). So unless you state your intent I'm going to assume you think I'm a fat crazy chick. *lol*


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## curvalicious (Feb 8, 2007)

Love me for more than my belly.

Don't judge me.

Get to know the real me and now what's just on the outside.

And I do enjoy a good stubble kiss every once in a while


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 8, 2007)

Eclectic_Girl said:


> Because if he asks and it's not true, we get pissed at him for being a dick.
> 
> And if he asks and it is true, we get pissed at him for being right.
> 
> The only good time for a man to ask "Are you on your period?" is when he's offering to go get the heating pad.



My ex-husband would ask me if I was- but because he saw the physical signs. He never used it as a way to insult me or my gender so I was never once bothered by his question.


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## Friday (Feb 8, 2007)

Don't assume that it's menopause or PMS and fercriessake don't make comments to other women about so and so's 'hormonal' problems. This applies whether you're making comments about *her* behavior or her reaction to *yours*. Some men are jerks and so are some women and every time you write us and our feelings/actions off as hormones it's an insult.


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## Renaissance Woman (Feb 8, 2007)

Ask specific questions in bed. "Is that okay," "How's that," and the like aren't going to give you the specific information you need, as most women are likely to respond with generic "yes" and "fine" answers. Instead, ask specifics:

"Faster or slower?"
"Harder or softer?"
"Should I move up? Down? Right? Left?"
"Up/down, back/forth, or in circles?"

Every woman's got her own sweet spot that's gonna get her where she wants to go, but not everyone is forward enough to tell you if you're a half inch too low and not going fast enough. Take the initiative and ask for detailed directions.


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## LoveBHMS (Feb 8, 2007)

When you talk about your ex wife or girlfriend, we have our own ways of interpreting what you're saying. In general, we don't mind if her name comes up if it's relevant to the conversation [Have you ever gone to London? Yes, Mary and I went there last spring.] or if you're discussing you relationship in a rationale manner [One reason we split up was that she was so close with her mom and sister, she would often choose to spend time with them instead of with me. I think you should make your partner a priority.]

What we can't stand are transparent attempts to tell us how to behave if we want the privilege of keeping you. These are typically negative remarks about the ex that we are virtually certain she would see differently.

"My ex was really materialistic" [Translation, she wanted to go someplace nicer than Denny's.]

"My ex would always pitch a fit if I forgot her birthday, she acted like it was the end of the world or something." [Translation, I coudn't be bothered to note her birthday on my calendar or in my Blackberry and it upset her. I should not be expected to extend simple courtesies just to make you happy.]

"My ex was really demanding." [Translation, don't ever ask me for a favor. If you ask me to do something that isn't that big of a deal and i don't feel like doing it and you get angry, I'll accuse you of being demanding.]

"My ex would always freak if I didn't call her the exact second I said I would." [Translation, I never call when I say I will and you better not complain about it.]

"My ex could be really cold." [Translation, unless you allow me to walk all over you without the slightest resistance, I'm going to be a jerk to you.]

"She got hysterical over the smallest things" [Translation, I forgot to pick her up at the airport and left her stranded/left our checking account overdrawn without telling her/skipped her mother's funeral to play poker/cheated on her/lied to her/ and she had the temerity to express her displeasure. I am far too much of a wimp to apologize or try to make it right when I've hurt somebody. You're so lucky to have me that you'd better think twice before putting me in a position of feeling guilty about something, because if I feel that way, I'll disappear on you.]

"If I was like five minutes late she'd go ballistic" [Translation, I was always at least half an hour late. I'm probably passive aggressive and am chronically late because it's how I express my passive aggresssion.]


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## Aliena (Feb 8, 2007)

1)My wanting to be alone, is NOT a statement of how I feel about you. I would just like to be alone. 

2)Learn to read my mind, because speaking vocally is sometimes annoying, as well as being overrated. 

3)Sometimes I just want to fuck. 

4)If I ask you how old do I look, always answer with this equation: age - ten years. It will get you laid every time. 

5)Always, ALWAYS tell the truth, except when doing any of the math equations regarding weight and age. (those are love truths anyways)


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## Aliena (Feb 8, 2007)

rainyday said:


> I have a friend who keeps a statue on her coffee table. When the statue faces one way, the seas are calm. The days of the month when it faces the other way, her hubby knows that means proceed at your peril. Eliminates him having to ask. I thought it was pretty funny when she explained it.



My mom used to wear a baseball cap. She said she told my dad that if the cap was on frontwards, all is well. If it was on backwards, you didn't want to fuck with her. 

Hey, they've been married for almost 50 years.


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## bigsexy920 (Feb 8, 2007)

My comment I'm about to make will include me as well BUT, 

Why are so many women posting on this thread whereas hardly any men posted on the women only thread of the same topic ?

Women.. we are real butinski's


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## bigsexy920 (Feb 8, 2007)

Well for me. 

I don't really care about your stuff and how much you have and how much you make. I care about are you happy with what you are doing. 

I don't care how much you make, I care that you get up and go to work and be productive. 

I don't care how much you love how my body looks I care how much you love who I am 

I'm not big into crying and carrying on, so if I do, it usually means there is something really wrong and I'm not just doing it to upset your world. 

We can't make you feel gulity about something you should have no gulit for. I have found over the years if you are feeling guilty about something, you ususally are. Even for me, If I feel some gulit, than I HAVE done something to feel that way. 

I'm strong but sometimes I need you to be stronger. 

I'm sure there is more. I have to agree with most of what has been posted in this thread.


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## bigsexy920 (Feb 8, 2007)

I'm busting chops girls. Sorry, Its a Jersey thing.  

YES I did notice a lot of similarities.


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## JoyJoy (Feb 8, 2007)

Sweet Tooth said:


> *Sometimes, we just need someone to go above and beyond for us. It's not testing you. It's not training you. It's just a need to be special enough to be worthy of a grand gesture... and then you need to let us know we're special enough to be worthy of a grand gesture by DOING the grand gesture. We're not mind readers either.
> 
> *Consider me a set of pearls. I don't want to be locked in a safe like a valuable jewel while you take the paste copy out in public. I'm most lustrous when worn. That's when my full beauty comes through. Need an interpretation of this metaphor? It means, let me live and be real, fully engaging in and participating in life with you. Don't stick me up on a pedestal, suddenly thinking less of me when I prove I'm human just like you. Accept me as an imperfect, but beautiful, creation.


 YES! YES! YES! I couldn't say it better, so I won't try, but these completely apply for me, as well. 

I don't want to be your woman at home, keeping house, whom you only let into your world when you're hungry or want sex. If we're a couple, that means we're sharing a life together..all of life. This means more than just sharing space, it means enjoying common interests, having conversations about things besides the mundane that fire up more than a few brain cells and require both of us to expose who we are to the other. I don't expect you to bare yourself to me completely (everyone needs to keep a part of themselves just for themselves), but knowing that there is a special part of you that is mine alone, to me, is mandatory in a healthy relationship. 

If you can read this thread with an open mind and not get defensive....that's a huge plus for you. Constructive advice/criticism can be an excellent and useful tool...and that goes for both genders. (Thanks rainy, my dear...you rock!)


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 8, 2007)

Sweet Tooth said:


> *Consider me a set of pearls. I don't want to be locked in a safe like a valuable jewel while you take the paste copy out in public. I'm most lustrous when worn. That's when my full beauty comes through. Need an interpretation of this metaphor? It means, let me live and be real, fully engaging in and participating in life with you. Don't stick me up on a pedestal, suddenly thinking less of me when I prove I'm human just like you. *Accept me as an imperfect, but beautiful, creation.*



This is beautiful- thanks


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 8, 2007)

(This will mostly apply to men who are strangers on the net that approach me)

Yep, I have another..... if you think it's okay to ask me for my measurements, weight, picture, etc up front without getting to know me first- all so you won't "waste your time talking to me" or make me "prove my attractiveness/worthiness" beforehand then it should be okay for me to ask you the balance of your checking account and net worth before you bother me with your personal questions.


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## RedVelvet (Feb 8, 2007)

No one can ask me my measurements without providing both a bank statement and picture of their cock first....

I have my values....


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## calauria (Feb 8, 2007)

1. Look, I'm a sickly person, just because I've started dating you doesn't mean I'm gonna miraculously heal!!!! Get over yourself!! 

2. If you just want to have sex, then just say so, but if that is not what I want, then you'll just have to accept that. Don't go pretending you care about me, just to get some bootie!! You are a sorry LOSER if you have to LIE to get someone to have sex with you!!

3. If you disappear on me, FINE!!! Take your coward ass on!! I can get over you, but don't contact me in the future, because you WILL get your feelings hurt!!

4. If you cheat on me, I will forgive you, but I WON'T take you back.

5. If I seem too strong and to the point to you, then move on, you are not the man for me!!

6. Don't take advantage of my love, because I'll NEVER EVER do that to you!!

7. If you ever feel that I've done something wrong, come talk to me. I will listen, we can work it out.

8. I'm a GOOFBALL. Silly and crazy!! You'd have to like that about me!!


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 8, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> No one can ask me my measurements without providing both a bank statement and picture of their cock first....
> 
> I have my values....




Cock pics, FTW


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## Jane (Feb 8, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Cock pics, FTW



Photoshop made those unreliable.


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## ripley (Feb 8, 2007)

Sweet Tooth said:


> *Consider me a set of pearls. I don't want to be locked in a safe like a valuable jewel while you take the paste copy out in public. I'm most lustrous when worn. That's when my full beauty comes through. Need an interpretation of this metaphor? It means, let me live and be real, fully engaging in and participating in life with you. Don't stick me up on a pedestal, suddenly thinking less of me when I prove I'm human just like you. Accept me as an imperfect, but beautiful, creation.



This reminds me of a quote from a book I really like, _The House of Mirth_ by Edith Wharton: "His father was the kind of man who delights in a charming woman: who quotes her, stimulates her, and keeps her perennially charming."


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## elle camino (Feb 8, 2007)

jerking someone around who's been nothing but honest and open with you, waiting for them to let their guard down and trust you before you turn tail and run away with no explanation whatsoever, is fucking evil and cruel and makes you an indisputably shitty person. 
and you wonder why some women have such low opinions of men.


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## LoveBHMS (Feb 8, 2007)

The single best and most reliable indicator that you are a complete dickhead is if you sigh and say, "You know, women just don't like nice guys."

You know who never uses that phrase?

Men that are actually nice.

Every man I have ever encountered who has said that was light years away from being nice.


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## SamanthaNY (Feb 8, 2007)

Some of you guys are well versed at old-fashioned touches. Opening a door, holding a chair, helping us to put on our coat, your hand in the small of our back to guide us through a crowd. And you're as nice and respectful to the friends of the woman you're dating, and you are to her. Bravo to you - your value is rarely lauded, and that's a shame. 

There are so many little unspoken things like that, and doing them really shows us that you care, and that you're a gentleman. 

Thank you.


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## LoveBHMS (Feb 8, 2007)

elle camino said:


> jerking someone around who's been nothing but honest and open with you, waiting for them to let their guard down and trust you before you turn tail and run away with no explanation whatsoever, is fucking evil and cruel and makes you an indisputably shitty person.
> and you wonder why some women have such low opinions of men.



The explanation is about 99.9% of the time that they are a spineless, classless piece of trash who, if asked with a gun to his head why he behaved that way would say, "Because I couldn't stand the thought of seeing her get all emotional. I just can't deal with big crying scenes. It was just easier *for me* to just run away. And all i care about is what's easiest for me. Which is why i'm such a prick."


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## elle camino (Feb 8, 2007)

what sucks is that i really consider myself an intelligent, perceptive person. i don't understand how i repeatedly fail to see these things coming.
i feel so fucking worthless.


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## JoyJoy (Feb 8, 2007)

elle camino said:


> what sucks is that i really consider myself an intelligent, perceptive person. i don't understand how i repeatedly fail to see these things coming.
> i feel so fucking worthless.


Don't feel that way...really. It has happened to everyone, most more than once. Some of the most beautiful, intelligent women I know repeatedly have such things happen to them. I can't explain it, just know you're not alone.


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## LoveBHMS (Feb 8, 2007)

elle camino said:


> what sucks is that i really consider myself an intelligent, perceptive person. i don't understand how i repeatedly fail to see these things coming.
> i feel so fucking worthless.



Double EFF that.

It's the guy that is worthless. THE GUY. Not you.

Also, seriously not being patronizing or sycophantic here, lots of guys do in fact get intimidated and cut and run. They figure they'll take off to eliminate the risk of getting kicked to the curb. A man who thinks he's not good enough for you is *always* right. Beauty, style, smarts, and confidence can work against you if the man is a dickless wonder. Some of them are secretly thinking "maybe she'll realize she can do better....damn, i better take off now so I don't get hurt. Cause my little boy ego could never handle it."


----------



## elle camino (Feb 8, 2007)

thanks guys.
i really don't want to seem like i'm fishing for sympathy, here. i'm just messed up in the head right now. i'm not thinking clearly. all i can focus on is this shitty sadness and disappointment and how idiotic i feel. 
usually i can just remind myself that, you know. there are people in the world who have cancer, AIDS orphans, fucking refugees wandering the earth starving and homeless, and it'll put my stupid little life and my problems in perspective. but right now i'm just consumed by this.


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## Donna (Feb 8, 2007)

SamanthaNY said:


> Some of you guys are well versed at old-fashioned touches. Opening a door, holding a chair, helping us to put on our coat, your hand in the small of our back to guide us through a crowd. And you're as nice and respectful to the friends of the woman you're dating, and you are to her. Bravo to you - your value is rarely lauded, and that's a shame.
> 
> There are so many little unspoken things like that, and doing them really shows us that you care, and that you're a gentleman.
> 
> Thank you.




YES, YES, YES!!!!!!!


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## Jane (Feb 8, 2007)

We really, really will like you for who you are. That's who we want to know.


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## Donna (Feb 8, 2007)

We're not all bitter, self absorbed bitches.


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## Jane (Feb 8, 2007)

Just as you getting out your fishing tackle, using sno-seal on your boots, or getting out you auto repair manual should be a clue to us, there are things that should be clues to you.

"We're not mind readers" is a cop-out. Neither are we, but handwriting...wall...get the connection?


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## Donna (Feb 8, 2007)

I nearly forgot this one....


You know that look I give you when you step out of the shower in the morning, naked and wet, smelling of yourself, soap and shampoo? It's NOT disgust or me checking for shrinkage. It IS pure lust.
:wubu:


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## Donna (Feb 8, 2007)

Oh and a p.s. to my above post....

Quickies have a time and a place and after the aforementioned shower and before we get dressed for work is that time and that place.

That is all!
:blush:


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## Jane (Feb 8, 2007)

Donnaalicious said:


> Oh and a p.s. to my above post....
> 
> Quickies have a time and a place and after the aforementioned shower and before we get dressed for work is that time and that place.
> 
> ...




Wet man, wet hair....swoon!!!!!!


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## BitsyAintMyName (Feb 9, 2007)

Don't assume we're gonna say no to kinky sex stuff. Just ask. You just might be surprised.


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## kerrypop (Feb 9, 2007)

Donnaalicious said:


> I nearly forgot this one....
> 
> 
> You know that look I give you when you step out of the shower in the morning, naked and wet, smelling of yourself, soap and shampoo? It's NOT disgust or me checking for shrinkage. It IS pure lust.
> :wubu:



Oooh! It's true, it's true. That is one of my favorite parts of the day, and I'm always happy when I'm around to see it.:smitten:


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## TearInYourHand (Feb 9, 2007)

LoveBHMS said:


> The single best and most reliable indicator that you are a complete dickhead is if you sigh and say, "You know, women just don't like nice guys."
> 
> You know who never uses that phrase?
> 
> ...



seriously. i love nice guys. just not the ones who suck.


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## kerrypop (Feb 9, 2007)

LoveBHMS said:


> The single best and most reliable indicator that you are a complete dickhead is if you sigh and say, "You know, women just don't like nice guys."
> 
> You know who never uses that phrase?
> 
> ...



On this one...I'm going to have to disagree. I have been known to be attracted to douchebags, and several girls I know have been in the same boat. Sometimes there is just something about a cocky guy... I dont know!

In addition, I just asked Stan (who, I will vouch for in the face of all womanhood, is one of the nicest guys ever..but I'm biased ) and he remembers that in college the girls DID go for the jerks. 

Girls are weird.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Feb 9, 2007)

Don't tell me to "drop it." If my feelings about something are unresolved, it is not fair of you to insist on the end of the conversation before we've solved whatever issue it is we're having. Just because it's resolved or over for you, doesn't mean it is for me. You telling me to drop it and refusing to speak about it anymore, makes me feel like you are controlling me as a parent would a misbehaving child. That is not something I will tolerate.


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## Tina (Feb 9, 2007)

I agree, BBM. I wouldn't do that to my guy, and don't expect him to do it to me. If the other person is just getting too upset, I don't mind putting the conversation off for a little while. But to give orders? Nah. That doesn't fly with me. I'm very understanding, but anyone who would be, and is, my mate, understands that we are equal, and that I am not an underling to be ordered around. I hate to fight and am always willing to put it aside until cooler heads prevail; but if it's a real problem (and not just something fleeting), it cannot be put aside forever and must be dealt with or the relationship will suffer.


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## LoveBHMS (Feb 9, 2007)

kerrypop said:


> On this one...I'm going to have to disagree. I have been known to be attracted to douchebags, and several girls I know have been in the same boat. Sometimes there is just something about a cocky guy... I dont know!
> 
> In addition, I just asked Stan (who, I will vouch for in the face of all womanhood, is one of the nicest guys ever..but I'm biased ) and he remembers that in college the girls DID go for the jerks.
> 
> Girls are weird.



That guys who go out of their way to tell you how nice they are are never the nice ones. It's not at all that that women (and men) don't go for jerks, but that in my experience, men who makes a point of telling you how nice they are, tend to not be nice.


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## SparklingBBW (Feb 9, 2007)

You know the age-old dichotomy between women and men with it comes to things like the guy buying a woman flowers for no reason, and the guy being hesitant to do this because he views it as a waste of money cause they're just gonna die in a week? I've had this debate/conversation with several guys (and gals who were trying to get their guys to buy them flowers) who experienced a lightbulb moment when I explained the flower thing to them in this way: 

It's pretty much understood these days that people learn in different ways. Some need to read it to learn it, some need to hear it to learn it, and some need to draw it or write it to learn it..etc....but the point is this...this is also how people FEEL LOVE (and other emotions) from their partners. 

So the key to a harmoneous relationship is to find out HOW your partner feels your love and then do those things because that is what works for them. 

Does she need to hear "I love you."? Then say it and say it often. (Even if you think she should already "know" you love her.) 
Does she need to feel your love through actions? Then do those things like kissing her passionately or filling up her gas tank. 
Does she need you to write her love notes or send her cards or flowers? Then just do it because believe me, if your gal is feeling your love, she'll also make sure you are feeling hers! <grin> 

And ladies, this goes both ways (as I'm sure you are aware but I wanted to be fair to both sides). If your fella feels your love by you leaving him alone to watch football all day Sunday, then give him that once in a while and while he's doing it, treat him to a meat, meat and more meat (with some potatos and beer on the side) dinner while he does it. 

If he loves working on cars then he'd love it if you'd say, honey, the lawn will wait, why don't you change the oil on your precious Betsy, and btw, I picked up a case of that heavy-weight oil Brand X you love so much. 

And if his idea of love is you wearing that sexy cheerleader outfit you saw on Ebay while you do the wild thing, well then surprise him by greeting him at the door one night with it on...believe me, you both will get the idea that you really do love and respect one another...lol. 

And if you're trying to explain this to your guy because he just doesn't get it say this to him: 

Honey, Valentine's Day to me is like Blowjob and Steak Day to you. Quid pro quo...and perhaps you'll see the lightbulb going off in his eyes in understanding. 

-Hope this wasn't too rambling, and as always, this is just MHO, take it or leave it. lol 

Gena


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## SamanthaNY (Feb 9, 2007)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Don't tell me to "drop it." If my feelings about something are unresolved, it is not fair of you to insist on the end of the conversation before we've solved whatever issue it is we're having. Just because it's resolved or over for you, doesn't mean it is for me. You telling me to drop it and refusing to speak about it anymore, makes me feel like you are controlling me as a parent would a misbehaving child. That is not something I will tolerate.


Thank you for saying this. 

I wanted to respond with something like this, but you handled it much better than I would have.


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## Carrie (Feb 9, 2007)

Genarose54 said:


> Honey, Valentine's Day to me is like Blowjob and Steak Day to you.



So, so true! One of the best things I've ever read here, Gena.


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## calauria (Feb 9, 2007)

Genarose54 said:


> You know the age-old dichotomy between women and men with it comes to things like the guy buying a woman flowers for no reason, and the guy being hesitant to do this because he views it as a waste of money cause they're just gonna die in a week? I've had this debate/conversation with several guys (and gals who were trying to get their guys to buy them flowers) who experienced a lightbulb moment when I explained the flower thing to them in this way:
> 
> It's pretty much understood these days that people learn in different ways. Some need to read it to learn it, some need to hear it to learn it, and some need to draw it or write it to learn it..etc....but the point is this...this is also how people FEEL LOVE (and other emotions) from their partners.
> 
> ...




I absolutely concur!!!


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## RedVelvet (Feb 9, 2007)

Genarose54 said:


> You know the age-old dichotomy between women and men with it comes to things like the guy buying a woman flowers for no reason, and the guy being hesitant to do this because he views it as a waste of money cause they're just gonna die in a week? I've had this debate/conversation with several guys (and gals who were trying to get their guys to buy them flowers) who experienced a lightbulb moment when I explained the flower thing to them in this way:
> 
> It's pretty much understood these days that people learn in different ways. Some need to read it to learn it, some need to hear it to learn it, and some need to draw it or write it to learn it..etc....but the point is this...this is also how people FEEL LOVE (and other emotions) from their partners.
> 
> ...




There is a brilliant book that expands on just this idea called "The Five Love Languages"...(or is it four?)

Words, Acts of Service, Gifts, etc...almost exactly like you expressed it..

Arent you the clever one?


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## Jane (Feb 9, 2007)

It's kinda like going all out cooking a meal for a guy...good wine, good food, proper ambiance...hours spent cooking.

It won't take a week for it to "be gone" but it's the experience that's the key.

Oh, and the "Type of Love" thing? I need all three, four, five whatever the hell it is, and yes, I will still ask you!!!!!

However, one of the most romantic things I ever heard was this story:

A young woman had grown up in a very loving, giving family. She knew how much her parents loved each other, but she had never heard her father tell her mother. Of course, Dad was a quiet guy (farmer), but STILL.

She asked her mother one day why Dad never said, "I love you" to her.

Mom said, "The day we got married, your father said to me, 'I love you. If that ever changes, I'll let you know.' After that, he's just shown it every day."


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## Allie Cat (Feb 9, 2007)

LoveBHMS said:


> That guys who go out of their way to tell you how nice they are are never the nice ones. It's not at all that that women (and men) don't go for jerks, but that in my experience, men who makes a point of telling you how nice they are, tend to not be nice.



What if you're talking to someone and they say that you're nice, and then you say 'but girls don't like nice guys'?

Does that count?

Though it's generally the immature, annoying girls who don't like nice guys. As you get older those girls tend to either drop out of society/school/life or become mature and nice... or at least mature.

=Divals


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## fatgirlflyin (Feb 9, 2007)

Jane said:


> Mom said, "The day we got married, your father said to me, 'I love you. If that ever changes, I'll let you know.' After that, he's just shown it every day."



You know, I'm 32 years old and I don't think I've ever heard my father say to my mother I love you. I dont think I've heard it the other way around either. I know that they love each other though. They've been married 32 years (yes I was born in sin LOL) and the little things they do for each other just scream love. My mom always has a meal waiting for my dad when he gets home, and growing up if my dad had to work late my mom would feed us and then wait to eat herself until my dad got home. My dad doesn't let my mom do any kind of manual labor, if there's something around that house that needs to be fixed he does it. Mom doesn't even usually have to ask, just mention that something's broken. 

I say I love you all the time, wont leave the house without saying I love you cuz you just never know when it will be the last time. I agree with Gena though, you should just find what works for you, there is no universal way to show your love for someone else. As long as they "get" that you love them that's all that matters, no one else needs to "get" it too.


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## GWARrior (Feb 9, 2007)

This has been said, more than once:

GET OVER YOURSELVES.

If i beat you at a video game, dont pretend your controller was acting up. 

Dont pretend to know everything. It gets annoying really quick.

ugh. boyfriends :doh:


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## kerrypop (Feb 9, 2007)

I guess this is for boys, but girls too... 

Don't go to bed mad at me! Never! Resolve it before you sleep on it. It'll make waking up easier in the morning.


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## Renaissance Woman (Feb 9, 2007)

Do not think that we do not like the appearance of your genitalia. You may find the whole setup awkward, weird-looking, or unattractive, but there are a whole bunch of us who feel the opposite. Fear not.


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## kerrypop (Feb 9, 2007)

Renaissance Woman said:


> Do not think that we do not like the appearance of your genitalia. You may find the whole setup awkward, weird-looking, or unattractive, but there are a whole bunch of us who feel the opposite. Fear not.



Hooray!!! This one is the best one yet!


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## BitsyAintMyName (Feb 9, 2007)

Renaissance Woman said:


> Do not think that we do not like the appearance of your genitalia. You may find the whole setup awkward, weird-looking, or unattractive, but there are a whole bunch of us who feel the opposite. Fear not.



Damn right! Imagine having to deal with a square penis. *lol* Sometimes I feel sorry for men. They don't have boobs and their genitalia is often in a vulnerable position. Dirty pillows and indoor plumbing are such luxuries...*sigh*


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## saucywench (Feb 10, 2007)

As I've watched this thread develop and unfold, I've tried to think of what I could add. I never read that book, _Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus_. If I ever read any "self-help" books along those lines at all, I have long since forgotten the message. But I awoke this morning and was struck by the following thoughts:

When a man and a woman enter into a conversation that centers on feeling, and emotion, such conversation represents an opportunity for (mutual) understanding of a much deeper and more fundamental level. For me, and I feel secure in speaking for most women, this is why feelings are important. This is why we feel the need to talk about things. This is how we make sense of life. This is how we are wired. Our feelings are fundamental elements of what make us women, and your counterparts in the human species--and they should be respected and given their due. Because, after all, that ability is a critical component in what draws men to women--it helps men to understand themselves as much as it helps us women to understand men. While often it is a typical male response to dismiss or discount those feelings or desires to talk things out, this need should never be considered as trivial or insignificant in comparison to men's innate sense for logic and order and rationalization. There is an organic reason for those differences, and valuing those differences can only aid in understanding ourselves, the opposite sex, and our place in this world.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 10, 2007)

^^I'm listing that as one of the best posts I have ever read on the forum- Thanks Saucy


and I tried to read that Men are from Mars - didn't finish because I decided the author was a pompous asshole that doesn't know Jack


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## scarcity (Feb 10, 2007)

I want my dad and boyfriend to know that they can't buy my love

I want my bf to know that I can't control my mood

I want my bf to know that he can't get me out of a bad mood, he'll just make it worse.


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## This1Yankee (Feb 12, 2007)

FIRST - I love both of these threads. LOOOOOOOVE. Thanks boys for your end of the bargain, much appreciated.

Next, here are my 'things', because I really think that it differs from woman to woman, dependant on experiences/upbringing/a slew of other reasons.

1.) If you can smell yourself, and it's not smellin' pleasant, then TRUST that I can smell ya too. SHOWER, please darling.

2.) While I adore the pet names, especially the ones that you have specifically made up for me, I like to know that you remember my actual name. And try not to say it ONLY when you are mad and want my attention, because then I will start to associate you with my mother...no need to get in to how MUCH you don't want that.

3.) Don't wait until after I have gotten home from work and am tired and want to just chill to bring up a complaint with my behavior, performance with something, etc. I would really much rather you just call me during the day and get it over with then. I am bound to be more understanding and agreeable if you aren't ruining my 'de-compress' time.

4.) I NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY OR WITH THINGS LEFT UNRESOLVED. I hate it, sleeping next to someone that doesn't even LIKE you at the moment is ludacris. I'll go on the couch, and I'm not being 'dramatic' about it...I just really don't want you to breathe all hot and loud in my ear for the next 8 hours, because I'm liable to do something not nice.

5.) I won't be jealous unless you give me a reason to be. If you suddenly aren't being completely honest and open with me, then I will put my guard back up. 

6.) I would prefer to have sex on a daily basis. 

7.) I really like pictures, and I especially like ones with the both of us in them.

8.) Being a little posessive is hot. I like knowing that you don't want anyone else to be with me but you, and that you would be really upset if I were to walk away. 

9.) I have read it before here, but yes, I am one of those girls that like the little romantic things. Don't go crazy with it, I don't need to know every 5 minutes that you miss me, but an unexpected phone call at work, text message, note left on the car window...those are super sweet things that let me know that you appreciate and care for me.

10.) If you ask me something, I will tell you. I could go on and on with this list, because I really have nothing to hide. If there is something that you want/need to know, don't beat around the bush, because I won't either.

11.) Don't be super polite around my family. They are really sensitive to 'asshole', and sometimes if you are too formal and cool, it can come across that way. 

12.) I don't expect you to read my mind, but I do think that you should know me well enough to read my behaviors. When I am upset/sad/angry/depressed/stressed/worried I should hope that you have SOME clue as to what it's about based on your knowledge of my life at that moment. 

Finally - No, it doesn't get old to hear that you like me/love me. EVER. Feel free to tell me whenever the mood strikes you or you think it in your own head.


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## Jane (Feb 12, 2007)

This1Yankee said:


> FIRST - I love both of these threads. LOOOOOOOVE. Thanks boys for your end of the bargain, much appreciated.
> 
> Next, here are my 'things', because I really think that it differs from woman to woman, dependant on experiences/upbringing/a slew of other reasons.
> 
> ...




Good list.


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## Eclectic_Girl (Feb 12, 2007)

Good list, especially this one:




This1Yankee said:


> 5.) I won't be jealous unless you give me a reason to be. If you suddenly aren't being completely honest and open with me, then I will put my guard back up.




And its corollary,
5a.) I won't be needy unless you give me a reason to be. If you pull away from me without explanation, I will feel insecure and try to pull you in closer. It's perfectly fine for you to need time alone or to want to process something by brooding on it instead of talking about it. All you have to do is let me know that you're working through something and reassure me that you'll be back when you're ready. I'm not unreasonable. But please recognize that experience has taught me that pulling away = the end.


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## Still a Skye fan (Feb 12, 2007)

I appreciate the information, ladies...thanks.


Dennis


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## supersoup (Jun 19, 2007)

bump.

i wish that the mens knew there is no hidden agenda in what i'm saying. hello means hello, a laugh means i'm happy, and when i hug you tight, yes it's just because i want you close. nothing hidden, no reading in between the lines needed.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jun 19, 2007)

Don't expect me to stroke you when you have insecurities yet criticize me for having mine.......


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## Violet_Beauregard (Jun 19, 2007)

I wish all men knew that we are not f**king mind readers.

COMMUNICATION...... is that so damned tough????


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## mossystate (Jun 19, 2007)

Don't expect me to listen, make eye contact, interject comments when appropriate,as you tell your VERY detailed story...and then not extend me the same courtesy. I am not your personal 'earth mother'..all giving...forgiving...understanding.


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## cammy (Jun 19, 2007)

Give me honest and complete information so I can make the best decision for me. Anything you say is fine - just give it to me straight.


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## RedVelvet (Jun 20, 2007)

Don't be such a fucking pussy. It's just a conversation. It won't kill you.


Also, I really like the little unconscious dance you do when you are happy.



And your big dick.


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## TraciJo67 (Jun 20, 2007)

It's OK to show vulnerability.


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## Arrhythmia (Jun 20, 2007)

Please note that you cannot be the man that I deserve and desire if you cannot be the man you feel you should be first.


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## Jane (Jun 20, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Don't be such a fucking pussy. It's just a conversation. It won't kill you.
> 
> 
> Also, I really like the little unconscious dance you do when you are happy.
> ...



There is that.


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## Ample Pie (Jun 20, 2007)

I'm sure I'm rehashing some of what's been said, but:

* Please don't asssume that my openness equals easiness. It doesnt and Im not. I may have blown 900 guys (I havent), but I can guarantee that doesnt mean Ill blow you. I do what I do because I want to, not because Im desperate to be with someone or whatever. Im sexual, to be sure, but Im not easy. I may just be the best lay you ever had, but youd have to earn it because otherwise Id probably just lie there. And yeah, you bet your ass Im willing to earn it too.

* Please don't hate yourself. You should like yourself before you go trying to inject yourself into my life. I totally love to support my friends, but if you hate yourself theres no way Ill ever be able to pick up the pieces for you and it isnt even worth my time or your time for me to tryId just end up failing and wed both end up feeling so much worse.

* Don't make jokes about periods or pms. You will never understand what its like, so its best to lay off the period jokesunless you want me to show you what it feels like to bleed and bleed and bleed and feel like shit. Since you cant understand what its like, you should just try to be a big enough man to back away from the subjectfurthermore, it wouldnt kill you to keep chocolate in your glove box. Dont offer it, but casually let your girl know its there. Think of it as a tire iron for your relationshipdangerous if used wrong but imperative in case of an emergency youd like to get out of alive. At the very least youll score points for seeming to understand, even if you dont. _[general tip: if the woman you're with is suffering from pms, just hug her. It may take all of your courage, but itll help you both in the long run, trust me.]_

---

oh yeah, this too:



activistfatgirl said:


> And you get bonus points with women like me if you: like boys, would kiss a boy, are open, have feelings, and don't say things like "all men act like this".


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## The Obstreperous Ms. J (Jun 20, 2007)

Eclectic_Girl said:


> Good list, especially this one:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Oh man, these two could not have been said better.


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## Ho Ho Tai (Jun 20, 2007)

Eclectic_Girl said:


> 5a.) I won't be needy unless you give me a reason to be. If you pull away from me without explanation, I will feel insecure and try to pull you in closer. It's perfectly fine for you to need time alone or to want to process something by brooding on it instead of talking about it. All you have to do is let me know that you're working through something and reassure me that you'll be back when you're ready. I'm not unreasonable. But please recognize that experience has taught me that pulling away = the end.



I guess we all need something like that little hour glass that tells us that our computer is doing something, and just be patient. Sometimes, for reasons I know not, the hour glass isn't portrayed and I figure the computer is hung - whether it is or not. My response is, not patience, but the three finger salute.

I guess you are saying that, with men, it's either the hourglass or the one-finger salute.









*An hourglass for REALLY great thoughts.*​


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## Athena9950 (Jun 20, 2007)

Men WISH they knew the secrets of witchcraft! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry...


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## cammy (Jun 20, 2007)

Where's the men's version of this thread? I want to be enlightened by their expositions.


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## Carrie (Jun 20, 2007)

cammy said:


> Where's the men's version of this thread? I want to be enlightened by their expositions.



Ask and ye shall receive.


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## rainyday (Jun 20, 2007)

supersoup said:


> bump.



Leave it to a woman to dig up something from the past so we can complain some more. 

(Kidding, Soup. Fun to see it again.)


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## Carrie (Jun 20, 2007)

rainyday said:


> Leave it to a woman to dig up something from the past so we can complain some more.



Heh! I predict a lot of repetition in this thread.


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## Pookie (Jun 20, 2007)

Okies... *coughs and begins*

Those comments about other women and their figures, faces and how you find them attractive.... makes me SUPER insecure. Please keep them to share with other guys and not me. I dont like to hear it at all.

Yes I want to hold your hand in public.

Yes I get pissed at idiot drivers on the road and if you cant drive you cant complain at me because you dont know what its like.

Approaching me telling me what to do doesnt work, yes I am a submissive but not to anybody who wanders by... its a gift and you dont deserve it if your first comments are demands of me.

Also approaching me as nothing but a big girl doesnt work, there is a mind, interests, hobbies, music... loads of stuff that need to be shared if you expect some form of conversation, simply telling me you want my body isnt enough.

Yes I am also bisexual, but I am faithful to who I am with. Asking "do you want a girl instead of me" is akin to me asking do you want a blonde instead of a brunette? Its not all about the physical, I am drawn to emotional contact too you know!! And if I am yours, then I am yours until there is a reason to leave... simply 'a girl' is not a reason.

Dont presume things... I dont like chocolate, I hate trashy novels, I will DIE before I watch Bridgit Jones. Girls are not cut out of cookie dough, approach each one in a new light and see her for who she is.

These last points are kinda address to my ex husband rather than men in general, I would hate for my boyfriend to think these where addressed to him at all.
Arrogance sucks, show some frickking humilty sometimes
Yes I'm crying, yes I'm upset... how about leaving me the hell alone so I can deal with it.
No I dont know whats wrong, thats how it works sometimes, I dont know so just let it ride out. You dont need to be a Knight in Armour no matter how good that makes you feel.... making me feel worse in the process isnt on.


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## supersoup (Jun 20, 2007)

rainyday said:


> Leave it to a woman to dig up something from the past so we can complain some more.
> 
> (Kidding, Soup. Fun to see it again.)



 

<3

now get back to workin' on your feedee!!


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## Jack Skellington (Jun 20, 2007)

Athena9950 said:


> Men WISH they knew the secrets of witchcraft! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!



I think I may have a pretty good idea what they are. But then I am a different sort.

Yes, well, nevermind.


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## RedVelvet (Jun 20, 2007)

Jack Skellington said:


> I think I may have a pretty good idea what they are. But then I am a different sort.
> 
> Yes, well, nevermind.




Well....I love you for it, Jack....

Me...and the Unicorns.


----------



## Esme (Jun 20, 2007)

I thought unicorns only liked...

nevermind.


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## Ample Pie (Jun 21, 2007)

If you're going to talk to me online, fill out your various online profiles--otherwise it looks like you have something to hide. And it's really peeving when my profile is filled out and yours is empty and you're still asking me for information...how bloody one-sided and unfair.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 21, 2007)

AMEN!!!!  
Somebody gets it. I _could not_ agree more!​


Rebecca said:


> If you're going to talk to me online, fill out your various online profiles--otherwise it looks like you have something to hide. And it's really peeving when my profile is filled out and yours is empty and you're still asking me for information...how bloody one-sided and unfair.


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## Allie Cat (Jun 21, 2007)

Rebecca said:


> If you're going to talk to me online, fill out your various online profiles--otherwise it looks like you have something to hide. And it's really peeving when my profile is filled out and yours is empty and you're still asking me for information...how bloody one-sided and unfair.



I know I'm in the wrong thread but I agree with you over 9000%.

=Divals


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## BeaBea (Jun 21, 2007)

I'm loving both of these threads... 

Here mine; 

Its not the words, it's the actions: If you prove you love me in the way you look at me and the way you treat me then I dont need to hear it on an hourly basis. Likewise if you think telling me you love me means you get to treat me like crap then you're in for a surprise. 

And on a more personal note... If I take the time and trouble to say I like something in a -certain- way I'm not saying it just to make conversation or to open a debate. Trying things your ex girlfriends liked, things you read in Playboy and things you saw on Channel X wont work. I know, I've tried them all before.... Now that said, if they ring your bell then thats fine and lets have at it. But when it comes to the, ah, final act please believe me that on this one single, tiny, subject in the world then I AM the expert. Thank you!! 

Tracey xx


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## RedVelvet (Jun 21, 2007)

Rebecca said:


> If you're going to talk to me online, fill out your various online profiles--otherwise it looks like you have something to hide. And it's really peeving when my profile is filled out and yours is empty and you're still asking me for information...how bloody one-sided and unfair.




oh HELL yes! Gods....Here's me with pages of verbiage, 20 pictures, and you with nothing,no pics (or maybe one) and then you ask me what I like to do for fun, and can you see more pictures?

Tard.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jun 21, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> oh HELL yes! Gods....Here's me with pages of verbiage, 20 pictures, and you with nothing,no pics (or maybe one) and then you ask me what I like to do for fun, and can you see more pictures?
> 
> Tard.




I would bitch slap those a-holes if I could......


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## Jane (Jun 21, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I would bitch slap those a-holes if I could......



Virtual bitch-slapping, fun, yet not illegal.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jun 21, 2007)

Jane said:


> Virtual bitch-slapping, fun, yet not illegal.



Some even PM me asking me to do it again.....


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## Eclectic_Girl (Jun 21, 2007)

BeaBea said:


> Its not the words, it's the actions: If you prove you love me in the way you look at me and the way you treat me then I dont need to hear it on an hourly basis. Likewise if you think telling me you love me means you get to treat me like crap then you're in for a surprise.



I may have to embroider this on a pillow...


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## Ho Ho Tai (Jun 21, 2007)

Eclectic_Girl said:


> I may have to embroider this on a pillow...



Better yet - tattoo it on his butt, backward, so he can read it in a mirror. And tattoo a target next to it, in case he forgets.


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## ModelFormerlyKnownAsBCD (Jun 21, 2007)

I know it will be construed as bitchy, and Yeah, it is bitchy, but I gotta say it.

Just because you're mother says your handsome doesn't mean everyone else thinks so, too. 

You're "game" isn't nearly as interesting to us as the real you may be.

Drop the attitude and just be genuine.


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## Eclectic_Girl (Jun 21, 2007)

Ho Ho Tai said:


> Better yet - tattoo it on his butt, backward, so he can read it in a mirror. And tattoo a target next to it, in case he forgets.



Actually, the pillow is for me, so _I_ don't forget...


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 10, 2007)

Anytime I see a man "down" the feminists of our time, many of whom I hold great respect for, I don't feel "shamed" or embarrassed. Instead, it reaffirms my belief that the feminists are correct. Not cool......

Don't believe that any woman that speaks up for other women is "against men"- it's ignorance to do so.




***I thought us ladies needed our thread bumped, btw


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## Miss Vickie (Jul 10, 2007)

Thanks for bumping this! I was wondering where it had wandered off to, and I can't seem to get the search function to work.

Guys, here's how things work around the house. If we're both working equally, then we're both responsible for getting things done. That means either we each notice stuff on our own and take care of it as time allows (this is ideal) or else if one of us notices something and can't do it we'll bring it to each other's attention. That is not nagging, despite what my ex had led me to believe. Ideally, though, we'd love it you'd notice stuff and take care of it. Some of us (me) will even perform sexual favors because we're so grateful (and because we have the time). Seriously! Who knew that washing dishes unasked was such a freakin' aphrodisiac?


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 10, 2007)

To go along with what Miss Vickie said.... I'm not your damn momma. If I was your momma, then you had best believe that you would damn sure be a GOOD man


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## BeaBea (Jul 11, 2007)

Generally;
If you take us out on a date and have the slightest intention of seeing us again please be aware that the timing of your next call is crucial. If you leave it more than three days I'm going to assume you didn't like me and move on.

Specifically;
I wish that one particular man could get it into his thick head that the Natural Bio Yoghurt in the fridge is there because I eat it. I swear if he makes one more off colour joke about 'alternative' uses I'm going to go to my shouty/angry place.

Tracey xx


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## Keb (Jul 11, 2007)

One sincere compliment goes a very long way. Being noticed is a wonderful feeling.


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## cammy (Jul 11, 2007)

I hate those intimate conversations about us and our relationship as much as you do, but "we" are very important and sometimes stuff needs to be discussed or we'll end up living parrallel lives instead of growing stronger as a couple - and I'll be unhappy . And when Mom's unhappy...


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## Shala (Jul 11, 2007)

cammy said:


> I hate those intimate conversations about us and our relationship as much as you do, but "we" are very important and sometimes stuff needs to be discussed or we'll end up living parrallel lives instead of growing stronger as a couple - and I'll be unhappy . And when Mom's unhappy...



OMG! This is so true!!


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## rainyday (Jul 11, 2007)

I absolve myself. I can't stop him--I tried. Now that he knows how to jerk the chains it's too tempting. And my cats will _never _go outside.


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## activistfatgirl (Jul 11, 2007)

rainyday said:


> I absolve myself. I can't stop him--I tried. And my cats will _never _go outside.



Rainy, I knew that was gonna be a fight--the cats. I was like, "hell no! my cats are gonna be planted ON YOUR FACE!" hehehehehe


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## gypsy (Jul 13, 2007)

If you are married/involved in a relationship...

DO NOT DO ANYTHING BUT BE MY FRIEND.

We get *really* pissed off when we find we were "the other woman" unwittingly. ESPECIALLY when you made a point to tell us otherwise.

That shows utter and complete disrespect for us as women, lovers, friends and companions. And you wonder why a lot of us think you're pigs?


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## The Obstreperous Ms. J (Jul 13, 2007)

Amen Gypsy! Amen!!


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## Tina (Jul 13, 2007)

Now, now, Bio. That was a cute little video and all, but it has been proven that men do have PMS (Penis Movement Syndrome) and you do have monthly hormonal fluctuations that can cause grumpiness, too (just ask us women -- we can detect it!). The only thing is, like Alice Cooper said, only women bleed.


----------



## mossystate (Jul 14, 2007)

don't be so sexist and shopworn in your comments about women, for this tends to be a slippery, dark, two way street

I like when you stop your chattering about every detail concerning your day..let me ask a question now and then

When we go out, dress at least as nicely as you would for work

If you want something from the kitchen, when we are both comfortable..ask..I might very well be happy to get it for you, but when you do the "hey, do you feel like some popcorn?"...thing..ack

Don't spread your legs so wide when you sit on a smaller couch with two other people..they also want a bit of space

Guess what..the chat you sometimes do with your guy friends...yup...that is gossip

Know that when I sit next to you, I am thinking all kinds of fun stuff and if you stop trying to manipulate the energy, fun things will happen more often than not

DO NOT SPIT IN PUBLIC..unless an insect has flown into your mouth..just...don't

Don't make me come find you..just show up at my door.....heh


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jul 14, 2007)

I love you guys - I mean it - I love men as friends and more.

However:

Don't talk to me like I'm an idiot.

Don't be condiscending.

Don't be gross about looking at other women. I know you look - I'm OK with it - just be discreet.

If we are lovers - let me be the aggressor sometimes - I like it.

If you are married - let me know - don't lie about it. I can handle it.

Bring flowers when I don't expect it.


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## Jane (Jul 14, 2007)

mossystate said:


> DO NOT SPIT IN PUBLIC..unless an insect has flown into your mouth..just...don't



This cannot be said enough.

We get that it's a male bonding ritual, or something, but honest to God. DON'T!!!!!


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## Tina (Jul 14, 2007)

I can handle spitting much, much better than flinging snot into the air in a tissueless nose-blowing fest. That, to me, is just the worst. No better than just squatting and taking a crap right on the sidewalk, IMO. I've seen it happen often enough to know that a number of guys do it, too. I've only heard of one woman who does it and it's while she's out riding her bike. Still horribly disgusting, IMO.


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## Jane (Jul 14, 2007)

Tina said:


> I can handle spitting much, much better than flinging snot into the air in a tissueless nose-blowing fest. That, to me, is just the worst. No better than just squatting and taking a crap right on the sidewalk, IMO. I've seen it happen often enough to know that a number of guys do it, too. I've only heard of one woman who does it and it's while she's out riding her bike. Still horribly disgusting, IMO.



Oh, hell, I'd just hit him with a 2x4. Not even a Cluex4, cause I don't think a man like that HAS a clue.


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## Tina (Jul 14, 2007)

Yeah, I don't think so, either. *shudder*


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## Miss Vickie (Jul 16, 2007)

For new fathers: Don't ever underestimate your importance in your child's life. Yes, mama has the boob juice, but you're very important in ways you can't imagine. If your baby is a girl, she will learn all she needs to know about men and relationships with them from her relationship with you, and from watching your interaction with her mum. If your baby is a boy, he will learn how to treat women from watching how you treat his mother. In a few years, you'll notice that he will mimic certain gestures of yours; this isn't by accident. It's how kids learn.

Remember: your kids are watching you, absorbing every little thing you DO, as opposed to listening to everything you SAY. Be involved in their lives. They need you. Oh and the mother of your child? She needs you too. More now than ever.

And yeah, public spitting? Is just gross.


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## Rowan (Jul 16, 2007)

That beer and pizza at my place is NOT a first date...

Ive had way too many morons attempt that one!


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 16, 2007)

Rowan said:


> That beer and pizza at my place is NOT a first date...
> 
> Ive had way too many morons attempt that one!



Oh jeez, you made me laugh 

Yeah, going back into my bedroom to watch the World Series of Poker doesn't count as a date either- as my ex-bf liked to believe


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## RedVelvet (Jul 16, 2007)

Rowan said:


> That beer and pizza at my place is NOT a first date...
> 
> Ive had way too many morons attempt that one!




Ok...I am spoilt, obviously...I have NEVER had someone attempt anything but "dressupnicepickmeupniceplacepayforthemealevenifItryveryhardtohelppay"...ever.

Who ARE these dunces?


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## Rowan (Jul 16, 2007)

Ive never ever gotten one of those like you described! lol


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## BeaBea (Jul 16, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Ok...I am spoilt, obviously...I have NEVER had someone attempt anything but "dressupnicepickmeupniceplacepayforthemealevenifItryveryhardtohelppay"...ever.
> 
> Who ARE these dunces?



Do you want the list? Really? The WHOLE list? Because it's already twenty to one in the morning here and I've barely started and, well, the new Harry Potter gets delivered on Saturday and I just dont think I'll get it all finished.

Tracey xx


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## RedVelvet (Jul 16, 2007)

Rowan said:


> Ive never ever gotten one of those like you described! lol



Darling girl....be willing to be alone rather than be willing to be treated like anything else but wonderful.

I'm serious. I am willing to be alone for the rest of my life rather than deal with one man with no manners.

If you get a fecking WHIFF of anything other than uber-gentleman: cut him off cold...period.

You give off that vibe, that "don't even think of treating me like anything but a lady" vibe...and the dorks slink away. 

Now...occationally, one gets though..

I call those.....meat.


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## RedVelvet (Jul 16, 2007)

BeaBea said:


> Do you want the list? Really? The WHOLE list? Because it's already twenty to one in the morning here and I've barely started and, well, the new Harry Potter gets delivered on Saturday and I just dont think I'll get it all finished.
> 
> Tracey xx



Egads.....how sad.



Sounds like you have a lovely husband tho.....me....I have a a number of engagements and long term relationships......ahem.

Maybe its the scary thing...


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## BeaBea (Jul 16, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Egads.....how sad.
> 
> Sounds like you have a lovely husband tho.....me....I have a a number of engagements and long term relationships......ahem.
> 
> Maybe its the scary thing...



Err, husband? Not me babe. I too have a fine collection of engagement rings but I'm a serial refuser and have twice ducked out when within two weeks of the finish line...

(I may have inadvertantly had someone else's husband once but he was a lying ass dog and I swear I didn't know he was married!) :doh: 

Tracey xx


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 16, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> I call those.....meat.




Am I the only one that gets all worked up and in a tizzy when Red talks dirty? :wubu:


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## Ample Pie (Jul 17, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Darling girl....be willing to be alone rather than be willing to be treated like anything else but wonderful.
> 
> I'm serious. I am willing to be alone for the rest of my life rather than deal with one man with no manners.
> 
> ...



See my signature:

"If there's a choice between being alone with your own beauty and allowing someone else's ugliness to sully it, choose to be lonely."
~Hella Strange

It ain't just about the physical.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jul 17, 2007)

Gentlemen - if at all possible - LONG HAIR!! It might just be me - but I love a guy with long hair!:wubu:


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## RedVelvet (Jul 17, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Gentlemen - if at all possible - LONG HAIR!! It might just be me - but I love a guy with long hair!:wubu:




Which is great!.....because it leaves all the short haired, cleanshaven Clark Kent (as drawn by Alex Ross) types for ME ME ME ME ME ME!!!

Vive la Differance! 

View attachment Superman Alex Ross 7.jpg


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## Tina (Jul 17, 2007)

Yum! Both Superman AND Alex Ross's talent all in one! :eat2: You know what I like, doll!


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## gypsy (Jul 17, 2007)

BeaBea said:


> (I may have inadvertantly had someone else's husband once but he was a lying ass dog and I swear I didn't know he was married!) :doh:



See? SEE?? For any men reading this that are indeed married and don't allude to that fact, go back to post #168. 

Don't you just wanna castrate those guys, Tracey?? There is a Very Special Butter Knife waiting in hell for men like that. And if they escape from hell, I still can find them.


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## cammy (Jul 17, 2007)

I need more sex...or just give over a credit card.


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## Ample Pie (Jul 18, 2007)

If you're insecure, let me know. No, really. It won't make me think you're less of a man. It will, instead, keep me from thinking you're being reserved around me because you're 'just not that into me.' If you are 'just not that into me,' telling me THAT will also help keep things in order. Either one is fine, I just want to be sure I can act and react accordingly.

Tell me when I'm supposed to communicate with you about sex. I don't want to criticize you, but I do want to make it the best we can and to me it's awkward to stop mid-frottage to discuss technique. However, if that's what works for you--feel free to let me know. And please don't be insulted if what you're doing doesn't work for me, it isn't you; we're just all different--really. Also, please, don't try to blame it on me if what you're doing doesn't work on me, because it isn't about blame.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jul 18, 2007)

Emotional honesty is tough.

And hot. Very hot.


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## liz (di-va) (Jul 18, 2007)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Emotional honesty is tough.
> And hot. Very hot.




yeah.
i fucking hate the 10-letter min *big dainty smile*


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## The Obstreperous Ms. J (Jul 18, 2007)

Speaking of hotness: Guys, I love it when you take out the trash, do the dishes, clean up after yourself etc and I didn't ask you, tell you to, or inferred or insinuated in anyway that you should do so.

Seriously, makes me want to ravage you.


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## RedVelvet (Jul 18, 2007)

Just because I like something sexually...that you aren't doing at the moment.....doesn't mean I dislike everything else you do..

I all about the ADDING to the Menu, baby.



Also.............giving head is hard, but pleasurable work. If you think I am good at it...making sounds of appreciation is good.

Your inhibition.....isn't manly....(sorry sweetie).....

Your enthusiasm is!


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## Jes (Jul 18, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Just because I like something sexually...that you aren't doing at the moment.....doesn't mean I dislike everything else you do..
> 
> I all about the ADDING to the Menu, baby.
> 
> ...



Cf my comment in the other thread. Thank god I'm not the only one!!!


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## cammy (Jul 18, 2007)

Touching doesn't always have to be a prelude to sex. Sometimes, I simply want to relish in the feel of your body and feel your hands on mine.


----------



## mossystate (Jul 18, 2007)

Men...please do not say women do not know how to gracefully accept a declaration of your being wrong, when your declaration is filled with 'buts'..you better believe we will be smart enough to see the patronizing crapola and grab you by the...... ...passive agressive is never a fun toy...just aint....


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## Ample Pie (Jul 18, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Men...please do not say women do not know how to gracefully accept a declaration of your being wrong, when your declaration is filled with 'buts'..you better believe we will be smart enough to see the patronizing crapola and grab you by the...... ...passive agressive is never a fun toy...just aint....


also, we're not machines and our responses aren't always going to be evenly measured and weighed. Sometimes, they will just be gut reactions.


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## Miss Vickie (Jul 18, 2007)

The Obstreperous Ms. J said:


> Speaking of hotness: Guys, I love it when you take out the trash, do the dishes, clean up after yourself etc and I didn't ask you, tell you to, or inferred or insinuated in anyway that you should do so.
> 
> Seriously, makes me want to ravage you.



Yesyesyesyesyesyesyes.... a thousand times YES!!! 

Oh, and guys? Telling us we need to learn to do this or that (because in your opinion we don't demonstrate to your satisfaction that we can) is disrespectful. 

Oh, and just one or two more things. Maybe three or four, depending on how wound up I get... 

Men are awesome. I revel in our differences. Please don't feel you need to be in any way feminine to be attractive to us, although many of us do like to see your sensitive and vulnerable sides. Just be you, but let us see the real you; we can take it. Really. And any woman worth her weight in salt won't use your weaknesses against you. If she does? Run for the hills or kick her ass to the curb. 

And I don't really care how big your dick is, or what kind of car you drive, or what your salary is. I care about your heart, your soul, and your intellect. It's your integrity, humor and kindness that I admire -- not whether you're pulling in a 6 figure salary.


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## RedVelvet (Jul 18, 2007)

Miss Vickie said:


> And I don't really care how big your dick is, or what kind of car you drive, or what your salary is. I care about your heart, your soul, and your intellect.




I care about the big dick.



Ok Ok ok ....and your _mind._  

Sheesh.


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## RedVelvet (Jul 18, 2007)

When you play your music really really REALLY fucking loud in your car with the windows rolled down and then screech off when the light turns green (or just before, for added manliness?)

That gets me so hot.

Thats how I know you HAVE the big penis.

Swoony!


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 18, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> I care about the big dick.



You know I don't mind a big dick either..........except when it's attached to an ever bigger dick :doh:


----------



## BeaBea (Jul 18, 2007)

I have one - Woman are NOT designated 'The keeper of the things' 

When you look into the palm of your hand and are astonished that the thing you need doesn't instantly materialise there your first response should be to go and look - not to open your mouth to start shouting 'Where the hell are my...? at me.

The answer will ALWAYS be one of the following - why not do us both a favour, select one at random, and leave me alone.

In the last place you had it
In your coat pocket
The second drawer down
On the shelf under the one you're looking at
Right in front of your face
How the fuck should I know

Thanks awfully 
Tracey xx


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## mossystate (Jul 18, 2007)

Yes, ovaries ( or any human who at one time possessed ovaries ) are not homing devices

Also, along those lines..do not complain about the size of a womans purse, IF you have ever asked a woman to carry something of yours...in said purse...


----------



## mybluice (Jul 18, 2007)

If I ask how you are doing or how your day was please give me more of an answer than fine or okay. I ask because I'm interested and care.

When you tell me you are going to do something, do it. Nothing is more frustrating than someone not following through. 

When we do make plans help make the plans don't tell me you don't care and then complain about what I come up with. 

When I'm upset about something don't placate me. Let me work through my feelings and get off my chest what is bothering me.

The simple things mean so much more than the grand things. Send me that silly card for no reason.

Treat me with the respect I deserve and I will treat you the same. 

Pay attention to my pace when we are out on the town and walk with me not ahead of me. 

If you've decided it's not working out be a man and tell me. Yes, it will hurt, but the pain will be less than if you just disappear.

I'm sure I will think of others.


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## RedVelvet (Jul 18, 2007)

After many years together, keeping me in the dark about the future..our future.. isn't a way to keep the romance and suspense alive....

...It's a way to create enough resentment to kill all the sex in a 10 mile radius.


TALK to me, you git! Have you not learned that its safe by now?


Also, I fucking adore you. Dork.


----------



## IceTeaPrincess (Jul 18, 2007)

Men of the world: 
If u want to really keep a coveted woman's interest, steer the line right between being a too attentive or clingy yes-man & being an emotionally unavailable prick. Keep in that zone & you'll almost never go wrong.


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## Keb (Jul 18, 2007)

Play with me. I'm competitive, too. I love games. (Stay out of the way when I get killed by an NPC for the umpteenth time and toss the controller across the room, though...) And while I love beating you, I don't mind losing to you either. (Cuz you're more cuddly than an NPC.)


----------



## Jane (Jul 18, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> When you play your music really really REALLY fucking loud in your car with the windows rolled down and then screech off when the light turns green (or just before, for added manliness?)
> 
> That gets me so hot.
> 
> ...




And that "Are they straight pipes or has he no muffler" sound thrills me as well.


----------



## Jane (Jul 18, 2007)

As much as I love you (which is with all my heart if I tell you that) every once in a while (you'll know when) I want you to fuck off. Doesn't mean I love you any less.


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## RedVelvet (Jul 18, 2007)

Jane said:


> And that "Are they straight pipes or has he no muffler" sound thrills me as well.




True! Nothing makes my kitty twitch like hearing loss!


----------



## Stu Gots (Jul 26, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> When you play your music really really REALLY fucking loud in your car with the windows rolled down and then screech off when the light turns green (or just before, for added manliness?)
> 
> That gets me so hot.
> 
> ...



When a guy cruises by with his big red truck or big yellow Hummer, does that just TOTALLY turn you women on?
Are you just head over heels over the guy thinking "if his truck or Hummer's that big, he MUST have a big dick"?

I tell ya guys like that make me laugh my ass off. Especially the ones who cruise around in ragtops thinkin' they're all cool and shit, and are bald, grey-haired ugly bastards. :huh: 

And how come every 30 or 40-something guy with a pickup truck has to have "GIT R DONE" written on his back window??

And, uh.... steel balls hanging off the back of your pickup truck DOES NOT mean you have balls of steel.... it's just another set of stupidass-looking steel balls.


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jul 26, 2007)

Stu Gots said:


> When a guy cruises by with his big red truck or big yellow Hummer, does that just TOTALLY turn you women on?
> Are you just head over heels over the guy thinking "if his truck or Hummer's that big, he MUST have a big dick"?



No. Frankly, these days, I'm more turned on by thoughtfulness and big, throbbing, sexy brains.

It's the really sweet small things that just fucking blow my mind. New boy brought me a soda this morning at work. Color me impressed.


----------



## RedVelvet (Jul 26, 2007)

Email I got this morning:


"Hello beautiful. 

Ok, so today I have to do the following things: {list removed}....I'm just telling you this because in truth I want to be writing you instead, and I didn't want you to think I was ignoring you.

Please know that even though I can't contact you today, you are on my mind constantly, and I really want you to know that. You are with me everywhere I go. Say hi to your Mom!"



Yeah.......this one might be a keeper.


Translation: little, thoughtful, notes are Way.........WAY.......more appreciated than one might think.


----------



## Jes (Jul 26, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Yes, ovaries ( or any human who at one time possessed ovaries ) are not homing devices
> 
> Also, along those lines..do not complain about the size of a womans purse, IF you have ever asked a woman to carry something of yours...in said purse...



i was going to post that! i remember ...who was it? Roseanne, saying the same thing, and I laughed and laughed. It's exactly the right comment for that situation. 'Honey, where are the GOOD scissors?'


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 26, 2007)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> No. Frankly, these days, I'm more turned on by thoughtfulness and big, throbbing, sexy brains.
> 
> It's the really sweet small things that just fucking blow my mind. New boy brought me a soda this morning at work. Color me impressed.




A job, a willingness to pay his own way and maybe even help out turn me on big-time at my age 

Oh, any skills such as plumbing, carpentry, electrical or automotive are always an added bonus


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## liz (di-va) (Jul 29, 2007)

It sounds so bland written down (like the words nice, sweet, thoughtful, etc.) but communication is so...sexy. The desire to spin/build little worlds together.


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## Eclectic_Girl (Jul 29, 2007)

liz (di-va) said:


> It sounds so bland written down (like the words nice, sweet, thoughtful, etc.) but communication is so...sexy. The desire to spin/build little worlds together.



Oh, exactly!

Cuddled up together, making little jokes, talking about everything and nothing, knowing each other so well that you know where it's safe to tease and where to back off and smoothe things over with a kiss...

These are the moments that build the foundation of a relationship that can weather bigger and crazier things.


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## activistfatgirl (Jul 29, 2007)

liz (di-va) said:


> It sounds so bland written down (like the words nice, sweet, thoughtful, etc.) but communication is so...sexy. The desire to spin/build little worlds together.



Yes. Yes. Yes.

It's pretty much a relationship and very gendered cliche, but there's nothing more incredible than a man who is at ease talking about where they're at in the world from the mundane, the painful, to the beautiful. 

I suppose to take this to a generic adage I'd say that I've been more attracted to men who are able to sidestep/overstep the societal norms that shut them down and are able to move forward in life with an ability to be real with their partners and friends. And it can't be forced, either, I suppose. Figure out what is on your mind (if anything) and make small starter attempts at putting it to words. or touches. or text messages for godsakes!

And never do it because you think we'll like it. Do it as an act moving you towards being a well rounded male.


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## Keb (Jul 29, 2007)

If you have kids, be a good daddy. Play with them. Teach them. Carry them around in the mall and give Mom a break. It's incredibly cute--and sexy...and everyone benefits. 

And if you don't have kids, don't be scared of them. I can't say they won't bite (some do) but you look like so much more fun to be with if you're willing to entertain small children or let yourself be amazed by their growing process.


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## Renaissance Woman (Jul 29, 2007)

If you don't like and/or want kids, then don't lie about it because you think that's what all women want to hear. Not all of us like and/or want kids, either. And if you don't and become serious with a woman who does because you've misled her early on, it's going to become a problem down the road.


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## RedVelvet (Jul 30, 2007)

Renaissance Woman said:


> Not all of us like and/or want kids, either.




(waving hands in the air)....

Like me!


Well....ok...I love them on toast with a nice sherry cream sauce.


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## Tina (Jul 30, 2007)

I dunno, Missa, I remember telling a delivery nurse who was in my face, literally, yelling at me not to push to "fuck off." She was unhelpful at best, and was all amped up, which is the opposite of what she should have been at the time. I feel certain it was neither the first nor last time anyone had ever said that to her.


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## MrsSunGoddess (Jan 17, 2008)

Honesty, good or bad, I'd prefer to be with a straight shooter any day, over someone who tells you what THEY think you want to hear.


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## LillyBBBW (Jan 17, 2008)

MrsSunGoddess said:


> Honesty, good or bad, I'd prefer to be with a straight shooter any day, over someone who tells you what THEY think you want to hear.



I'm on board with that MrsSunGoddess, all the way.


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## mossystate (Jan 17, 2008)

Thirded...let me whine..cry...get mad...leave..whatever...better than always ....wondering.


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## ThikJerseyChik (Jan 17, 2008)

I wish the men in MY life knew that just because I don't AGREE with them doesn't mean I have a HEARING problem and they have to RAISE THEIR VOICES!


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## porkchop (Jan 17, 2008)

Remember that it is the little things we get all emotional about(in a good way:wubu....making the coffee in the morning, candles/music for a little romance, putting the steering wheel up for us so we don't have to struggle to get into the car, cleaning the snow off the car for us, picking up dinner instead of asking what I am making, putting on a show you know I will like, surprising us with a favourite drink (must I say latte?)......the little things.

We may not say a huge I love you when you do them...but know that is what we are thinking when you do them.:wubu:


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## RedVelvet (Jan 17, 2008)

You look supercute in a hoodie and mucking about in Home Depot makes me happy.


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## LillyBBBW (Jan 17, 2008)

Your sexuality is NOT GROSS! It's one of my favorite things about you, so relax.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 17, 2008)

I saw in someone's blog today the term "emotional vampire". That's what some of the men in my life seem to have been ....bloodsucking, self-centered, childish, don't care about no one but themselves and always whining. STOP IT! 


and GD, stop asking me out if that's how you are :doh:


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 17, 2008)

I really really like when you text me to just see how I am doing, or when you do so to show compassion about a mutual friend. <3


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## cold comfort (Jan 17, 2008)

MrsSunGoddess said:


> Honesty, good or bad, I'd prefer to be with a straight shooter any day, over someone who tells you what THEY think you want to hear.





LillyBBBW said:


> I'm on board with that MrsSunGoddess, all the way.





mossystate said:


> Thirded...let me whine..cry...get mad...leave..whatever...better than always ....wondering.



Quadrupledededed. Whole-Heartedly. :bow:


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## LisaInNC (Jan 18, 2008)

I wish that guys knew...that if a girl stabs them its because she REALLY cares.


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## Teresa Gordan (Jun 22, 2019)

"FINE" is never an appropriate response when I ask how I look. I will leave if you lie. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.SEX means more than sex. Women enjoy romance. Not calling when you say you call. When we ask if you want us to come over, all we want a simple yes or no.


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## FleurBleu (Jun 23, 2019)

Waiting for us to broach a difficult subject. If you're not doing well/have an issue, tell us. Don't wait for us to drag it out of you.
And I agree with Teresa: when you say you'll call, call. We're often verbal creatures and take things literally.


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## DragonFly (Jun 23, 2019)

This is a totally wonderful thread to dig back up!!! Things have changed a bit since 2008 I’m sure we can come-up with some more things 


Don’t can me Babe, Baby, Sweetie, or My Love in our first communications.
There is never ever going to be a time when I want to receive a picture or video of your penis. Someone might want to, but not me.
If you lose interest, don’t hide or Ghost, just be upfront. I’m going to be, I’ll tell you if I think we should just be friends. 
Asking for pictures with specifics is pretty creepy. Sorry I do t have full body 360 degree photos of myself to send for your approval. 
Realize that if a BBW or SSBBW has any form of Social Media they probably get hit on daily by catfish, men pretending to be soldiers, and all sorts of weird. That means our guards are up, trust has to be earned.


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## Sidhuriel (Jun 23, 2019)

There is indeed never a time where I am interested in a dick pic. Just don't. I am not a visual creature in the way many men proclaim to be and it does NOT exite me.
Pictures are something I'll _maybe _consider when we're married. Not ever on other terms, and then still on my terms.
If I want sex, I will let him know. It's ok if he asks for it if we haven't had sex for a while , but asking me every few hours every day turns me off. 
If I am not interested in sex right now, it does not mean I don't love him. It just means I am tired or physicially unwell. Men seem to have a really hard time understanding this


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## FleurBleu (Jun 23, 2019)

Oh, I so agree about the last item. We express love in so many different way, and the physical one is not always one of them. 
Another one: while I love a nice bra-and-panty set, stockings and other lingerie just makes me feel like a fake. I hate it. I freeze up and can't enjoy intimacy. Just let me be myself.
And another one: when I say small penises are so much more user-friendly when giving head, I mean that as a compliment. Small does not equal inferior. My breasts are small, too, but they're pretty awesome


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## agouderia (Jun 23, 2019)

Sidhuriel said:


> There is indeed never a time where I am interested in a dick pic. Just don't. I am not a visual creature in the way many men proclaim to be and it does NOT exite me.



Dear God - yeees!
Let's face it - primary sexual characteristics have a biological function - but they are not exactly an aesthetic or optical revelation. Same goes by the way for the current trend to vulva pics or paintings - may do great work, doesn't contribute anything for visual pleasure.
Humanity has evolved since baboon times - act accordingly!


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## FleurBleu (Jun 23, 2019)

Hear hear! (And how elegantly put - this goes straight into my quote file.)

I wonder how many guys are reading this? It may say "For women only" but it is followed by "wish men knew" after all.


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## AmyJo1976 (Jun 23, 2019)

I wish men understood I need my "me time" just as much as they need theirs. Often more times than not, they take it as something is wrong or that you're mad at them rather than you just need some alone time.


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## penguin (Jun 26, 2019)

Please look at women as people and not potential personal spank banks. You find fat woman hot? Great! Don’t forget to find out what she’s into and wants and to let her know you value her as a whole.


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## FleurBleu (Jun 26, 2019)

Vibrators aren't a threat. To some of us it's the only way we can come, no matter the guy's equipment or technique. And no, oral doesn't help every woman either.


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## Emmy (Jun 27, 2019)

Just because I hang around and joke like "one of the guys" does not mean I am! I dont want to check out other women with you and you should still hold the damn door :/ Friends or more..im still a lady and you should treat me as such...


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## FleurBleu (Jul 2, 2019)

Most of us can't think of nothing. Our head is always on and often jumping from one thing to the next. Think of reading a Wikipedia article and clicking on every think you come across.
That's just the way our brain works and we can do little about it. "Just relax" doesn't cut it. Instead, ask what you can do to help us focus or if there is something you can take off our shoulders so we don't have to worry about it anymore. Thanks


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## DragonFly (Jul 4, 2019)

In a business situation, I am not, sweetie, hun, a gal, a girl, and my moods, decisions or disagreement with you have nothing to do with the moon or my sexual organs. Ohh yea and my eyes are up here.


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## FleurBleu (Jul 4, 2019)

Manscaping? Absolutely! It makes me want to spend time there


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