# how did (guys) come to terms with ur FAness?



## meepmeep (Dec 20, 2010)

Hi,

i am just wondering how the guys here came to terms with their preferences? I myself have known for a long time that i am mostly exclusively attracted to bbws/ssbbws and was wondering how the guys here have come to terms with that? How did ur friends react? How did ur parents react? How have u dealt with the stigma or the perception (incorrectly) that you may be dating big girls because u cant get a skinny girl? (i know this is incorrect..but i think sometimes people think that is why we date bigger girls). Additionally, when u are out an about..do and ur friends point out a skinny girl they find attractive and u dont..what do u saY? Do u point out a fat girl that u find attractive and say "thats my type of girl"? How open are u with ur preferences with people? Thanks, i am just looking for some advice/perspective. cheers
Anthony


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## Meddlecase (Dec 20, 2010)

There was never a need for me to come to terms with my attraction to big girls. I've never seen anything wrong with it. I've never taken any flack for it from friends and family either. Even if I did, that's white noise. If I like something, I like it. I don't care how anyone else feels about it.


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## Fat Brian (Dec 20, 2010)

Growing up fat myself I never had any problem accepting my FAness. I didn't grow up believing many anti-fat stereotypes since I was fat and I knew they weren't true. My dad doesn't care, my mom doesn't understand, she hates herself fat and just doesn't get it. I never really cared what my friends thought, I hate people anyway and really don't give two shits what their opinion of my ladies were.


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## meepmeep (Dec 20, 2010)

i dunno...i consider myself (as do many other people) to be a very good looking guy...and i just think that people think i cant get a skinny girl... so i date fat girls. I think people look down on me for my preferences. I dont like thinking like this..and i just want some advice to get over this way of thinking...


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## Meddlecase (Dec 20, 2010)

People will look down on you for pretty much anything. Worrying about things like that won't help in the slightest. It's not exactly easy for some people, I know, but you have to get into a mindset where the importance of other's opinions when it comes to your personal preferences is marginalized to a point where they doesn't matter.


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## Jon Blaze (Dec 20, 2010)

Meddlecase said:


> People will look down on you for pretty much anything. Worrying about things like that won't help in the slightest. It's not exactly easy for some people, I know, but you have to get into a mindset where the importance of other's opinions when it comes to your personal preferences is marginalized to a point where they doesn't matter.



This.

Put the ball in your court. It's not about what they think. It's about how you feel about liking what you like. 
Gaining confidence in myself and learning more about how I feel is when things got easy for me. 
People will assume many things about you. If they're really curious, it's as simple as clarifying it


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## disconnectedsmile (Dec 20, 2010)

meepmeep said:


> i am just wondering how the guys here came to terms with their preferences?


I "came out of the closet" at age 16. 
At that time i had two choices: live a life of secrecy and self-loathing, or just tell my friends at the time how I felt.
And self-loathing was not an option for me.



meepmeep said:


> How did ur friends react?


Aside from a few light-hearted jabs, as friends are wont to make, they were all cool with it. The girls I was friends with sure as hell admired me for it.



meepmeep said:


> How did ur parents react?


My only family is my aunt. She’s doesn’t care one way or the other.



meepmeep said:


> How have u dealt with the stigma or the perception (incorrectly) that you may be dating big girls because u cant get a skinny girl?


By not dealing with it. I know the truth about myself, and that’s all I need.



meepmeep said:


> Additionally, when u are out an about..do and ur friends point out a skinny girl they find attractive and u dont..what do u saY? Do u point out a fat girl that u find attractive and say "thats my type of girl"?


Everyone I know now knows full well that I am exclusively attracted to fat women.



meepmeep said:


> How open are u with ur preferences with people?


Very. I never, EVER hide it. Again, self-loathing is not an option.

Also, this, a thousand times this:


Meddlecase said:


> I've never taken any flack for it from friends and family either. Even if I did, that's white noise. If I like something, I like it. I don't care how anyone else feels about it.


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## meepmeep (Dec 20, 2010)

thanks for the replies gents. But how did u get to the point of "not caring". its easy to say...'i just dont care'...but how does one get there?


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## Jon Blaze (Dec 20, 2010)

For me it was gaining confidence in myself. The more confident I got, the less I cared about what other people think.


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## disconnectedsmile (Dec 20, 2010)

meepmeep said:


> thanks for the replies gents. But how did u get to the point of "not caring". its easy to say...'i just dont care'...but how does one get there?


there's really no easy answer for this. it's something you learn over time.
good people i knew growing up always taught me something very important:
always apologize when you do something wrong, but *never* apologize for who you are.


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## CarlaSixx (Dec 20, 2010)

meepmeep said:


> thanks for the replies gents. But how did u get to the point of "not caring". its easy to say...'i just dont care'...but how does one get there?



I think genuinely falling in love with someone of your "type" helps, too, but this is something you'll eventually come to terms with on your own, too


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## Elfcat (Dec 20, 2010)

meepmeep said:


> Hi,
> 
> i am just wondering how the guys here came to terms with their preferences? I myself have known for a long time that i am mostly exclusively attracted to bbws/ssbbws and was wondering how the guys here have come to terms with that?



I was curious about fat girls from really early on, first or second grade. Obviously it wasn't a sexual turn-on at that point, but I seemed to have "fat girl detectors" in my brain that I just always noticed when a fat girl was around. At that point all sorts of humor and other tropes about fat girls were flying around, and unfortunately I repeated some of them. But I think at one point when these tropes started turning from just simple physical humor to insinuations of ugliness or unlovability, I found myself thinking, "OK, I was willing to go with it being funny the way their bodies jiggle or they squeeze through places, but I've never thought of them in a bad way."

When in 5th and 6th grade we got some in-class readings of Judy Blume's books _Sheila the Great_ and _Blubber_, I noticed a few things. First, I created visions of Sondra van Arden stuck in the milk door and felt some new and strangely pleasant feelings. Second, when Linda Fisher and this one uncooperative guy were pushed together and forced to kiss, I thought about it and realized I probably would enjoy kissing the fat girl.

It was not long after, as I remembered and made up various stuckage and tight clothes and jiggly scenes with fat girls in my mind, that I figured out what I was doing wrapped up in a thick comforter every night. If I had any doubts about where this was all leading, they ended the day my nudist family took me on the latest of our periodic outings to Elysium, a private nudist park in Los Angeles County's Topanga Canyon. A blonde, buttery looking woman, just about on the border of mid-size and supersize, like say Sandie Szabo or Kelly Kay, ambled across the grass and plopped down by her husband.... and I instantly saw the future I wanted for myself. It probably wasn't coincidence that I was happy as a clam when a tall supersize blonde in 6th grade (oh let's see, Terra or Valerie or my own wife Kat as a young girl) made me her Sadie Hawkins Day catch.



> How did ur friends react?



Sadly, said SSBBG moved away over the summer after the first semester of 6th grade. I only had one really traumatic incident in junior high school the next semester, where some of the guys saw my despair at one fat girl giving me a glacial shoulder, surrounded me one day in the quad by the oak tree, and chanted "fat, fat, fat" at me, ending with her name. The whole situation embittered me, and I thus call 7th grade my mean year, where I pretty much hated and snapped at everyone, including the girl who had rejected me. The summer after this, I thought about it all and decided I was going to be a lover of fat girls full-bore and to hell with anyone else but them.

That. of course, was the rub: how best to say this to the fat girls themselves, already seeded with emotional mines set to go off at the mere mention of the word.



> How did ur parents react?



My mother was a bit perplexed at my sentiments, and I've had to train her pretty much my whole life. My father, bless him, was a gay Reichian humanist school psychotherapist who probably would have smashed a cop car window during Stonewall had he stayed in New York, so he was pretty cool about it. In fact for my going to college present he asked a BBW friend of his to give me a massage. I started massaging her back, and things soon led to a dark room in the house's periphery where I lost my virginity.



> How have u dealt with the stigma or the perception (incorrectly) that you may be dating big girls because u cant get a skinny girl? (i know this is incorrect..but i think sometimes people think that is why we date bigger girls).



Mostly just called the bull when I heard it.



> Additionally, when u are out an about..do and ur friends point out a skinny girl they find attractive and u dont..what do u saY?



"Yeah, I can see that, she looks nice". Of course if she is one of those skinny girls who still have the soft look, I'll mention that as well.



> Do u point out a fat girl that u find attractive and say "thats my type of girl"?



Definitely, I say, "A symphony to my eyes!"



> How open are u with ur preferences with people?



Extremely. Partly, I hope, to be an example to those like you who are still sussing these things out.



> Thanks, i am just looking for some advice/perspective. cheers
> Anthony



No problem, it is always wonderful to hear from a potential new comrade in the struggle to make the world a better place for all shapes of the people.


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## Elfcat (Dec 20, 2010)

meepmeep said:


> thanks for the replies gents. But how did u get to the point of "not caring". its easy to say...'i just dont care'...but how does one get there?



For me the answer is purely political. I consider hostility toward fat people as one element of the systematic program of fascism promoted by certain factions in this society which unfortunately make a whole lot of money and get a whole lot of social and media influence peddling terror and ugliness and misery. I consider the assertive expression of fat-positivity to be an act of insurrection against these.


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## TimeTraveller (Dec 20, 2010)

_i am just wondering how the guys here came to terms with their preferences?_
No big deal. I met my future wife when we were in 2nd grade so I came to terms with my preference before I even knew I had a preference.

_How did ur friends react?_
"You're weird." "And loving it." 

_How did ur parents react?_
When my sweetie & I formally began to date in high school, my mother said she was unhealthy. My father said no son of his would date a fat girl, and he tried to break us up. He even called her mother to demand she keep her daughter away from me! I almost had a full-blown fist fight with my father. He probably could have trounced me, but I would have at least torn out a piece of him, so he backed down. My father constantly tried to persuade me to date a nice petite cutie, brain optional, but he no longer actively interfered. He did refuse to attend our wedding though, which was the last straw. 

_How have u dealt with the stigma or the perception (incorrectly) that you may be dating big girls because u cant get a skinny girl?_
What stigma? I dated skinny girls too, but it didn't work out because our personalities didn't mesh.

_Additionally, when u are out an about..do and ur friends point out a skinny girl they find attractive and u dont..what do u saY?_
Yeah, she's cute.

_Do u point out a fat girl that u find attractive and say "thats my type of girl"?_
Sure.

_How open are u with ur preferences with people?_
I'm not in their face about it, but don't hide it either. Funny thing, I see many married couples of all kinds where the husband charges ahead and his poor wife tags along, as if he's afraid to be seen with her or wants to lose her in the crowd. I'm proud to be seen my supersize wife and gladly walk by her side. 

_But how did u get to the point of "not caring". its easy to say...'i just dont care'...but how does one get there?_
I don't know and I don't care. I've always been an independent thinker, so having a fat girlfriend and later a fat wife was hardly my only non-mainstream choice. 

It's not that I set out to date and marry a very fat girl, but rather that the right girl for me happened to be very fat. Great mind, wonderful personality, über-voluptuous package. Three for three! :smitten:


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## dedhart (Dec 20, 2010)

meepmeep said:


> thanks for the replies gents. But how did u get to the point of "not caring". its easy to say...'i just dont care'...but how does one get there?



Why do you care so much what others think? Think of it this way, whatever social stigma you may feel being the guy that likes fat girls, is probably very miniscule compared to the stigma of being a fat girl.

Oh and there were times when a co worker has pointed out some skinny little thing, with mouth all adrool, I just said I don't know what he finds so sexy about those little toothpick legs of hers, apparently he liked that, but I have some little toothpick legs of my own that I don't find particularly sexy, lol.


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## Fat Brian (Dec 20, 2010)

meepmeep said:


> thanks for the replies gents. But how did u get to the point of "not caring". its easy to say...'i just dont care'...but how does one get there?



Think about it this way, do you care who your friends date ? If one of them dated a girl that wasn't up to your standards would you make fun of him or her ? I didn't hang out with a super cool group of guys and just having a girlfriend period was better than most of them could say for themselves. If they say something and you stand up and defend your preference they will leave you alone. If you act like you're trying to hide something they will never leave you alone, stand up and nip it in the bud.


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## Still a Skye fan (Dec 20, 2010)

I've been an FA looooooooong before I first read the term here when I stumbled upon Dimensions sometime in 1995 or so (yes, I've been here a while) and I realized that's what I was.

I've never had any flack from my parents or friends. I am who I am.


Dennis


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## kioewen (Dec 21, 2010)

meepmeep said:


> 1. how the guys here have come to terms with that?
> 2. How did ur friends react?
> 3. How did ur parents react?
> 4. How have u dealt with the stigma or the perception (incorrectly) that you may be dating big girls because u cant get a skinny girl?
> ...



1. My whole life I've had tastes very, very different than just about anyone I know, in everything, from art to politics. I just recognized it as one other way in which the world around me and I were completely at odds.

2. The friends I've had have always recognized my (to them) eccentric values, tastes, and opinions, so I'm sure that they just took it as one more example of my being extreme.

3. Never really discussed it, but I'm sure they recognized it based on who I pursued. Traditional family, so such things weren't discussed. IMO, that's the way it should be.

4. Hah. That presumes that a person can actually get a big girl more easily than a skinny girl. I actually think the opposite is true. Seriously. I've had far more interest from underweight women than from curvy women.

5. I think you're asking what people say when a friend points out a skinny girl that he thinks is hot. I tell him he's crazy and that she looks like a famine victim. Truth.

6. Yes, but I don't use the term "fat," which is offensive and inaccurate. Also, I don't say, "thats my type of girl," but "That, on the other hand, is an _actually_ attractive girl" (or words to that effect), to indicate the contrast with their choices.

7. I don't trumpet it, but I don't hide it. As open as I am with my tastes in politics, literature, art, etc., which is that I always try to influence those people with whom I come into contact to come around to my way of thinking.


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## Tad (Dec 21, 2010)

It is true, some people will judge you by your partnerthe more widely desirable your partner is, presumably the harder it is to win their affection, and so that reflects on how desirable you are. And if you date someone that other people wouldnt date if they were in your shoes, that highlights a difference in values between you, which makes you seem a little less familiar, a little less one of us.

The thing is that with your own behavior you can largely nip both of those things in the bud. It is in fact pretty easy, even natural, you just need some gumption, kind of a social double-or-nothing ploy.

With regard to the desirableness of your partner, it is very simple: you make it clear that you think she is extremely desirable and that you are very fortunate to have won her affections. Talk up all her good qualities, say how smitten you are with her, hug her and kiss her around family and friends, and generally leave no possibility that you settled for her and would prefer someone else. 

Of course, that could just emphasize how different you are, but again it is very simple, emphasize the things that are in common with others. Dont talk about how you love seeing her belly jiggle or how turned on you get at seeing her triple chin. Instead talk about her awesome curves, her great smile, how much fun you have, how she can kick your ass in some video game, the things shes doing with her life, and so on. Emphasize the things that most people care about in their partner, and it will be clear that you are not really that different.

Yes, there might be a bit of resistance and a bit of probing, but so long as you keep up a very positive front, it probably wont be that bad (yes, you could have a real jerk in your circle of family and friends who wont let it go, but that can happen with anyone dating anyone. Jerks are jerks)


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Dec 26, 2010)

meepmeep said:


> Hi,
> 
> i am just wondering how the guys here came to terms with their preferences? I myself have known for a long time that i am mostly exclusively attracted to bbws/ssbbws and was wondering how the guys here have come to terms with that? How did ur friends react? How did ur parents react? How have u dealt with the stigma or the perception (incorrectly) that you may be dating big girls because u cant get a skinny girl? (i know this is incorrect..but i think sometimes people think that is why we date bigger girls). Additionally, when u are out an about..do and ur friends point out a skinny girl they find attractive and u dont..what do u saY? Do u point out a fat girl that u find attractive and say "thats my type of girl"? How open are u with ur preferences with people? Thanks, i am just looking for some advice/perspective. cheers
> Anthony



Well, I did not have to do too much work to accept my FAness. I like all women but prefer larger women. Yes, there were those who had a problem with it, but I never lost any sleep over their issues. Honestly, self-acceptance comes with getting older and knowing that people are often going to attack you verbally instead of affirming you.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Dec 26, 2010)

meepmeep said:


> thanks for the replies gents. But how did u get to the point of "not caring". its easy to say...'i just dont care'...but how does one get there?



I agree with what the other posters have said about this, but I want to add my $.02: the confidence to dismiss others' opinions when they run counter to your values is part of growing up, and it develops slowly out of the growth of your own character. When you're in your teens -- or even in your twenties -- you still haven't completely worked out who you are. This is especially true somewhere like the U.S., where you have considerable social mobility, freedom of religion, and a diverse population with many different views and values. The more people and ideas you encounter, the clearer it becomes which ones resonate with your own deepest feelings and beliefs. We humans are an imitative lot, and we are always looking to see how others react; this is natural. And you gradually get to the point where you know whose opinions matter to you and whose don't, sometimes so gradually that you're not aware of it until it's already happened. Stay tuned to Dims: there are a lot of fine people here who represent just about every background and intellectual position known to man: about all we have in common is a commitment to respect our common humanity (and certain aesthetic proclivities )


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## Adrian (Dec 27, 2010)

It was simple for me to come to terms with being an FA! I lived in a ghettto where all the little boys had BBWs in their families! When some little boy would say something against a 'woman of size', he immediately was chastized by the other boys. I did not deal with any sizable number of boys who did not like BBWs until I got to kindergarten but, I still had a several boys who felt like I did. I was just arrogant enough to refuse to go into the closet as the number of youngmen who did not like BBWs increased. When my family moved and later when I started dating, I was willing to get in the face of anyone who did not like the size of my first girlfriend. I have always been this way.



Dr. Feelgood said:


> I agree with what the other posters have said about this, but I want to add my $.02: the confidence to dismiss others' opinions when they run counter to your values is part of growing up, and it develops slowly out of the growth of your own character.


I fully agree with your position.


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## The Orange Mage (Dec 27, 2010)

Mildly off-topic, but I love these kinds of threads because I read-pronounce "FA-ness" as "eff anus," and I get some laughs from it because I'm an immature dork.


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## Blockierer (Dec 27, 2010)

_i am just wondering how the guys here came to terms with their preferences?_
*I've always known that lots of men exist that have the same preference than I. I've always liked the idea to be the lover of a fat women. *

_How did ur friends react?_
*I've never got rude comments.*

_How did ur parents react?_
*They were happy that I'm not gay.*

_How have u dealt with the stigma or the perception (incorrectly) that you may be dating big girls because u cant get a skinny girl?_
*I tell everybody I like girls with boobs and butt. *

_Additionally, when u are out an about..do and ur friends point out a skinny girl they find attractive and u dont..what do u saY?_
*I agree, a skinny girl can be beautiful.*

_Do u point out a fat girl that u find attractive and say "thats my type of girl"?_
*Hmm, I'm married. *

_How open are u with ur preferences with people?_
*I'm married to a supersized BBW, everybody can see it. 
*
_But how did u get to the point of "not caring". its easy to say...'i just dont care'...but how does one get there?_
*I opened my eyes and saw a lot of fat-thin couples, so I knew fat admiration is ok. *


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## Adrian (Dec 27, 2010)

Blockierer said:


> _Do u point out a fat girl that u find attractive and say "thats my type of girl"?_
> *Hmm, I'm married. *


My wife oftens points out women for me to take a look at while we shop at a store!
I told her shortly after we got married forty-five years ago that, "a woman is as old as she looks but, a man isn't old until he stops looking!"


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## olly5764 (Dec 27, 2010)

took some flack for it when I was younger, but once folks saw that it wasn't a passing phase, people just take the view that "it's your choice"


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## IrishBard (Dec 27, 2010)

_i am just wondering how the guys here came to terms with their preferences?_
I liked larger girls for a long time, it has to be said. I guess my first really moment of going "she's gorgeous," was a girl when I was in my early teens who I was smitten over. however, she was... less than enthused and thought I was being an arse. 

I didn't really have any moment of revelation in that sense, but on the other hand, my preference is relatively slight.

_How did ur friends react?_
Occasional ribbing about me dating large girls, I rib back with comments about their girlfriends. 

_How did ur parents react?_
As I've stated before, my parents are completely fine. Considering my brother is eccentric wanna-be playboy with extremely bizarre senses of foreplay, my parents aren't particularly fussed about it. 

_How have u dealt with the stigma or the perception (incorrectly) that you may be dating big girls because u cant get a skinny girl?_
on a few occasions, yes, I have felt that stigma. but on the other hand, I have also gotten skinny girls as well. when I was younger, I often played wingman to friends who were trying to get at girls with big friends. On 7/10 occasions, I ended up making friends with the big girl in question, and ipso facto, got the girl my friend was after to be friends/aquintences with me as well. by the end of the year, I had more female friends than most of my flat mates. 

_Additionally, when u are out an about..do and ur friends point out a skinny girl they find attractive and u dont..what do u saY?_
"Meh, she's good, but not my cup of tea." in a similar way I would say about movies or drinks.

_Do u point out a fat girl that u find attractive and say "thats my type of girl"?_
not really. unless it's pointing at my current girlfriend.

_How open are u with ur preferences with people?_
open, but generally don't make a big deal of it.

_But how did u get to the point of "not caring". its easy to say...'i just dont care'...but how does one get there?_
I never really cared much to begin with. how one gets to that situation I can't help you with. For me, my focus with finding love has always been on brains, wit and kindness. the fact my girlfriend is a gorgeous plus-sized woman is really just an added bonus. I would have loved her if she was stick thin or the size of a large island nation.


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## eriofool (Dec 28, 2010)

ive never really had to hide it i guess. maybe i get a little unfair leeway for being hispanic idk. 
Ive always just had an attraction and an appreciation for beauty at any size. 
ive dated women who were 110lbs and i found certain things about them attractive. ive dated women who were 280lbs n they have there own unique things i find attractive as well.
I think its an attraction to a beautiful face that makes the biggest impression on me. yes, i have a preference for bigger women and my family and friends no and accept that but if i met a girl who was nice, caring, beautiful, and thin.... well that would not stop me from dating her or talking to her.

Im an equal oppurtunity dater to say the least.
my last gf was 5'1 and 110. very pretty.
the current girl im seeing is 5'10 and 245lbs. equally beatiful yet in her own way.


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## bmann0413 (Dec 30, 2010)

How did I come to terms? Finding this website out of the blue. Seriously.


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## Knox91 (Dec 31, 2010)

This is such a great an interesting thread. It really inspired me to take the time and join this forum. Thanks for posting this meepmeep, it's a great discussion.

[QUOTE...........................

i am just wondering how the guys here came to terms with their preferences? 
[QUOTE...........................

For me, as a youngster most all of the girls I had crushes on in Elementary school had the 'softer' look to them.. Of course, I didn't notice that at the time. By the time I hit Junior High I had noticed mt reaction to curvy girls, and in High School I began to date several of the more voluptuous girls in school. I was thin as a rail and well liked, and never received and flack for it. I think because I never thought of it in a way of being ashamed. I genuinely liked the girls I dated and was attracted to them. 

The first time I really understood that I had a definite preference was at a 'Haunted Woods' event during Halloween. There was a very pretty, but large girl with our group and while other guys were trying to end up next to other girls I was trying to end up with her. I held her hand through the whole thing, had a blast, and when it was over I knew that I was seeing something different. It was a good feeling to have that realization. 

[QUOTE......................... How did ur parents react? 


My Dad doesn't get it, but I never felt the need to please him in this area. I wanted to be with those that made me happy. That's it.

[QUOTE........................How have u dealt with the stigma or the perception (incorrectly) that you may be dating big girls because u cant get a skinny girl? 

I did date thinner girls too. I didn't let anything decide who I liked other than how I felt about someone. 

[QUOTE....................... Additionally, when u are out an about..do and ur friends point out a skinny girl they find attractive and u dont..what do u saY? Do u point out a fat girl that u find attractive and say "thats my type of girl"? 


Yes, I do. My close friends expect it, and a few of them are the same anyway, so that is great.

[QUOTE.......................How open are u with ur preferences with people? 

It doesn't come up now because I'm older and married, but when I was younger, I never 'hid' it. I felt the best thing to do was to be 'me' and let the rest think what they will. I do not subscribe to the 'I don't care what people think' statements that people say. Of course you do! But if they care about being my friend, then they will have to accept me for who I am, or we will not be friends anyway, right?

Anyway, thanks to everyone who has posted on meepmeep's thread, Ive enjoyed reading it!


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## Dromond (Jan 4, 2011)

My second girlfriend was a big woman. I've never dated a skinny woman since. I didn't need to "come out of the closet," since I was never "in the closet" to begin with. I'm loud and proud about my love of larger ladies. I've even gotten some incredulous reactions from women whom I've told I wasn't interested in because they were too thin. It's like I was some alien life form. I didn't care. It didn't matter. I'm married to a big woman. I sure as hell don't hide THAT.

I've never understood the whole "closeted FA" thing, because I've never concealed my preferences. It never occurred to me to do so.


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## Anm4521 (Jan 7, 2011)

I stopped caring what people thought a few years ago. One of the girls I was dating was big. like 240ish. I could see some of my friends wanted to say something or comment or ask why I was with her. They are typical dudes who think even a chick slightly out of shape is fat and it's disgusting to them. But only very recently I think I figured out why I like big girls. Maybe it doesn't exactly explain why I initially found my self attracted to bigger girls but I know where my attraction started. When I was 3 or 4 years old we lived in these apartments. I have very foggy memories of playing around the complex and living there. Well there was this older girl named renee (i don't know how im able to remember her name) she was around 10 years old i'd say, atleast 5 or 6 years oldr then me. and was a chubby girl. She was much bigger then me in height and size obviously. and was obsessed with me. thought i was super cute . would pick me up and give me huge hugs and would give me piggy back rides or pick me up and carry me around or let me sit on her lap all the time...and I remember looking forward to it and being turned on by her size and big legs espcially..... So I think thats where my faness originated.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Jan 19, 2011)

Anm4521 said:


> I stopped caring what people thought a few years ago. One of the girls I was dating was big. like 240ish. I could see some of my friends wanted to say something or comment or ask why I was with her. They are typical dudes who think even a chick slightly out of shape is fat and it's disgusting to them. But only very recently I think I figured out why I like big girls. Maybe it doesn't exactly explain why I initially found my self attracted to bigger girls but I know where my attraction started. When I was 3 or 4 years old we lived in these apartments. I have very foggy memories of playing around the complex and living there. Well there was this older girl named renee (i don't know how im able to remember her name) she was around 10 years old i'd say, atleast 5 or 6 years oldr then me. and was a chubby girl. She was much bigger then me in height and size obviously. and was obsessed with me. thought i was super cute . would pick me up and give me huge hugs and would give me piggy back rides or pick me up and carry me around or let me sit on her lap all the time...and I remember looking forward to it and being turned on by her size and big legs espcially..... So I think thats where my faness originated.




wow great story man.i have loved BBW as long as i can remember.my first girlfreind was a BBW.i always loved BBW but i wasn't really open with it,i never really told anyone,only like some freinds and my brother kinda.but once i started getting older i really didn't care what people thought anymore,so i started being more open with my preference.i mean even in high school i made it clear i liked big girls,but only to a certain extent you know.but now i make it well known.lol


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## LifeTraveller (Jan 19, 2011)

I knew from an early age I was attracted to fat girls. The problem with dating them is peer pressure, or at least it was at that time. I like to quote Shakespeare on this one. . "To thine own self be true". Was I going to please my "friends" or myself. You might try to "fit in", but eventually it takes it's toll on you. If your friends are worth keeping, they'll stick with you. . 

Once I made my preferences public, I rarely had any issues. While I admit, there are women of all shapes and sizes I find attractive, my preference is for the SSBBW. . and always will be. . Be yourself, like who you like, and let the others deal with it. .lol It's the only way to be, happy that is. I met and married the love of my life. . Does it really get any better than that????


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## snuggletiger (Jan 19, 2011)

For me its just something I have always been. My friends don't say anything about it. Just something that never comes up.


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## patmcf (Jan 19, 2011)

It has been said in many ways throughout this thread: life is too short to care about what other people think of you. Consider your needs and what makes you happy. And if others are trying to protest something that makes you who you are then they are not worth keeping around. 

Put yourself first and be proud of it.


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## The Fez (Jan 20, 2011)

Had troubled with it for a bit when I was younger. Found dimensions, made a thread like this one in the main boards, got berated left right and centre for it, manned up.

Not that I'm belittling the psychological issues that you might develop with being in the closet or whatever, but that's pretty much it.

Eventually I realised the problem wasn't with what my friends or family would think, it was with me. Honestly at the point I was more open about it, I realised nobody really gave a shit either way.


As for



> How open are u with ur preferences with people?



If they ask me, I'll tell them. Otherwise I don't feel the need to parade the fact I'm an fa all over the place. Anybody that knows me well knows that about me anyway.


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## Mishty (Jan 21, 2011)

Anm4521 said:


> she was around 10 years old i'd say, atleast 5 or 6 years oldr then me. and was a chubby girl. She was much bigger then me in height and size obviously. and was obsessed with me. thought i was super cute . would pick me up and give me huge hugs and would give me piggy back rides or pick me up and carry me around or let me sit on her lap all the time...and I remember looking forward to it and being turned on by her size and big legs espcially..... So I think thats where my faness originated.



Now that you mention there have been a number of boys through out my childhood that got pretty excited about hugs and cuddles from me 

I remember as a kid always loving younger kids, and because I was 5'6 and over 200 pounds at a young age, I towered over most of my peers to. I was always carrying kids on my back, or toting them around on my hip, and as I got into my teens, more than once boys I babysat would get overzealous and try to fondle my fat,nothing to weird just awkward groping that made me laugh and scold, more than uncomfortable, young kids that haven't been involved with a fat person sometimes are confused with our bodies and shapes, sometimes repulsed because of what they've heard from other kids and adults. I would much rather have a curious mind, than some child already hating something they didn't understand. 

I see this sometimes with students to, younger boys love to be coddled and hugged by me and the other larger teachers, not many of them, but a few prefer us to the point of not being comforted my smaller teachers ever, most of the times these kids have a larger mother or father. I don't mean to say they're turned on, or already have a preference for softer ladies, but they obviously enjoy cuddling right up to me like I'm their big pillow.


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## CarlaSixx (Jan 21, 2011)

I have to second the observation of young kids connecting to fat.

I'm almost always over at my best friend's place, and she has 2 young kids, one of them is 3 years old. That little one likes to touch and feel. Her mother (my friend) is an apple BBW, and so it's common for her to see jiggly parts, and sometimes she comes up to me to play, and will take her hand over my arms or stomach, even sometimes my boobs(but no grabbies and moves quickly, thankfully). My friend thinks she's comforted by the feel because this little girl looooves soft things, and the fat feels soft for her. But she certainly has a preference to be comforted by the fat women who walk through the door than the skinny ones. In fact, I've never seen her interact with the skinny women that come by. Just the large ones. But she interacts with all the guys, though. Has them all wrapped around her little pinky, haha.

I do think for kids it tends to have something of comfort, but maybe that comfort carries on into adulthood, too.


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## CastingPearls (Jan 21, 2011)

There are quite a few little boys that I babysat (I was also a nanny for a few years) that are now married to BBWs. I often wonder if I had something to do with it. I think I might have. LOL


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## MrRabbit (Jan 21, 2011)

*i am just wondering how the guys here came to terms with their preferences?*
By growing older and less insecure about myself, discovering sites like Dimensions on the internet and by meeting a BBW and falling in love with her.

*How did ur friends react?*
No one ever commented on the fact that my GF was big.

*How did ur parents react?*They didn't really comment on it.

*How have u dealt with the stigma or the perception (incorrectly) that you may be dating big girls because u cant get a skinny girl?*
This never really crossed my mind.

*Additionally, when u are out an about..do and ur friends point out a skinny girl they find attractive and u dont..what do u saY?*
I say I find her too skinny and that I prefer a woman with curves.

*Do u point out a fat girl that u find attractive and say "thats my type of girl"?*
Only when someone would ask me what's my type.

*How open are u with ur preferences with people?*
I don't feel the need to tell everyone that I prefer big girls. But when asked about my preferences, I am open to it. And all my girl friends have been big, so I think it is obvious  

*But how did u get to the point of "not caring". its easy to say...'i just dont care'...but how does one get there?*
In my case - and I think that's true for a lot of people - by growing up and getting over my own insecurities. Not just insecurities about my preference for larger women, but insecurities about *me* in general. Also, there is a point where you realize there is just no other option. My preference for larger women will never go away, so it's either accepting it, or just living in a fantasy world.


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## The Orange Mage (Jan 21, 2011)

I went to make a post here and started a blog by accident.

http://eff-ay.tumblr.com/


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## big_lad27 (Jan 22, 2011)

* i am just wondering how the guys here came to terms with their preferences? *
Wasn't really anything I had to come into terms with, I am 27 now and was more into the fuller figure even in school, to me seeing and being with a bigger girl is way way more appealing then a stick with a head and body parts.

* How did ur friends react? *
My friends would't dare say anything to me, a slap would be issued out 

* How did ur parents react? *
Like someone said above, my Dad really doesn't get, to him every girl should be the model type to find attractive, very shallow. On the other hand my Mam isn't bothered at all, as long as I am happy.

* How have u dealt with the stigma or the perception (incorrectly) that you may be dating big girls because u cant get a skinny girl? *
Not the case at all, I have been with thinner girls in the past but there is just no attraction at all, aesthetically or sexually, there is nothing to cuddle into, just doesn't work for me.

* Additionally, when u are out an about..do and ur friends point out a skinny girl they find attractive and u dont..what do u say? *
I will always say what I think "She is too damn skinny, bit more meat on the bones and were all good" :eat2:

* Do u point out a fat girl that u find attractive and say "thats my type of girl"? *
That's not something I would do, well not point out people anyway but I would always much prefer and larger girl to pass my eye then a thinner one.

* How open are u with ur preferences with people? *
All the people that know me or even so much as matter to me know I like larger girls.

* But how did u get to the point of "not caring". its easy to say...'i just dont care'...but how does one get there? *
I don't think it's just a point of turning round and saying "I don't care". If you like big girls then that's what you like, I dont see this as a problem, anything that you should have doubts about or worry about what people think


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## _broshe_ (Jan 22, 2011)

1)how the guys here came to terms with their preferences? 

For myself it is fairly simple. Granted as with any relationship, it cannot be based on looks alone. I just like BBWs. pure simple. I never really ever thought twice about it

2) how the guys here have come to terms with that? 
I don't know if it is something i can say I have to come to terms with. it is simple fact that no relationship can last without attraction of some sort. I just have known for some time that it is my preference.

3)How did ur friends react?
they teased me some, and I am a naturally shy guy (trust me the Fact that I even asked my fiance out is a bit of a surprise to me  I go weak around beautiful women) but it was kind of obvious for my buds. that being said, did they ever really stop me from asking out a girl? perhaps, but i think my shyness was a bigger factor

4)How did ur parents react?
well my father doesn't have a say either way (hey my mom is and really never was a pixi) but my mother seems to have something to say ever now and again. but all in all they handle it in stride. 

5)How have u dealt with the stigma or the perception (incorrectly) that you may be dating big girls because u cant get a skinny girl?
Ahh lol, my problem was never not getting a skinny girl. i know a girl who could have doubled as a Brittny Spears double who had basicly told me i could have her any time I wanted.... pretty girl... very pretty, but so effing thin... so nlo I really haven't ha that problem. plenty of thin female friends... more than one stating they would have loved to go out with me, but for either me stating no thank you or personal reasons (one such girl, a great friend of mine, is 16 years my senior, confided in me one day she wished she was 6 or 8 years younger... my poor friend... where are you?).

6) Additionally, when u are out an about..do and ur friends point out a skinny girl they find attractive and u dont..what do u saY? 
I just play along really, but not for nothing, sometimes a girl is just simply quite beautiful no matter what her size. we here can all agree that many of the women here are very beautiful, if not drop dead gourgous, but can you truly say that there aren't some thinner women who are beautiful too? grante or me the first thing I'd always miss is being able to wrap my arms around a plump belly or having a large wounderful ass to grab but thus is life.

7)How open are u with ur preferences with people?
I can't say i hide it too well  granted the hardest person to mention to about your preference is alway for me the girl. I remember my fiance when i told her my preference. she had lost her prior boyfriend... 4 years prior, to some thin girl, and it really put her down some. We were cuddling in bed when I told her, and she looked real confused. she didn't quite understand... and after explaining that I REALLY DO like her at her weight, she procedes to ask "so you won't leave me from some skinny skank?" Ahh my dear, one in a million


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## swarbs (Jan 26, 2011)

My friends are the type that give me absolute hell when I hook up with fat girls...I still haven't really come to terms with my FAness. I mean, I'm easily most turned on by really big girls, like really big, and its just not 'normal' in my city and definitely not for my mates. So yeah, I still havent come to terms yet...not sure if I will.


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## Dromond (Jan 27, 2011)

You could try telling them to go fuck themselves. That would be my reaction.


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## Con (Jan 27, 2011)

Dromond said:


> You could try telling them to go fuck themselves. That would be my reaction.



That has pretty much been my reaction on a large number of occasions, sometimes more politely than that. My parents never used to make any issue of it, once i was happy it was fine, and most of my close friends are used to me, and i never went through some sort of period of adjustment where i had to "come to terms" with liking big women, i just always have preferred them, they're a better match for me anyway, i dont think any tiny skinny girl would be too happy to take on my 6'2" 300 pound whiskey and testosterone fuelled self after going home from a bar or a party, i need a girl who can handle that and give me somethin to actually hold onto without breaking (and no type of woman i'd rather have when i'm in that state than one with plenty of curves and many pounds) and when out with friends in said bars or at parties they wouldnt be surpsrised at all to see me talking to/dancing with/ gettin freaky with a fat girl, it's just me being me....

when i was in my teens sometimes some of the guys would try to mock or tease me about it, and maybe some who were foolish enough now would still do it, but i generally tell them to F*ck off and stop annnoying me. It's only the fact that they'd actually try to embarras me or make me feel bad for doing somethig i enjoy that annoys me, i'm still gonna like my ladies large whether they like it or not


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## Gentleman Zombie (Jan 29, 2011)

Dromond said:


> You could try telling them to go fuck themselves. That would be my reaction.



This pretty much sums up my attitude. If I gave a flying F*** what somebody else thinks, I would have already asked them, otherwise if they're looking for a bad time, they just found it.


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