# To gain, or not to gain....



## Mishty (Apr 14, 2008)

Ok, I have an odd question.

Recently within the last 6 months,I lost around 50 pounds,unintentially of course.(medical reasons)
I got great feedback from everyone around me, from sweet compliments, to little notes of encouragement from co-workers and of course the little "gasps" of diet-gone-right pleasure from annoying younger women.
I'm not an attention whore at all, but I felt kinda awesome pleasing everyone, my mom off my back about my weight, my friends excited about my new figure....
but

I've gained 12 pounds back in about two and half weeks! I've been eating whatever came my way, gorging on fast food, eat late, late night snacks full of carbs and peanut butter...
I'm not sure if I'm being a rebel because of the attention, or if I've really enjoying this myself, it's really strange. I like not being able to fit in the jeans i just bought, I love the little "you were doing so good's" and "should you be eating that's".
Now, does stuffing myself silly, and watching my belly in the mirror for changes make me a feedee?
Is this the same thing as yo-yo dieting?

It's all kinda weird...
So, if some of you lovely people can just give me a lil input, I'd really appreciate it a whole lot!

Thanks

-Misty


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## simon_squarepants (Apr 14, 2008)

Hiya. I think this whole labelling system is pointless really - why do we have to have to put everyone into categories? However, as far as the whole feedee thing goes, I've always considered a feedee to be someone who overeats with the intention or desire to gain weight, and who gets a kick out of the resulting extra pounds. That's as opposed to a foodee, whose focus is on the food (obviously) and for whom weight gain is just a side-effect, welcome or otherwise.

So if you've been trying to gain weight - and I guess if you've gained 12 pounds in 2 and a half weeks you weren't exactly dieting - then I guess that might make you a feedee. Well I guess only you can really say. There's nothing wrong with enjoying being slimmer, but I always think that if a girl even needs to wonder whether she should make herself really fat then she's obviously got that desire, cos most women wouldn't even consider it!

I hope that was some help (I'm sure it wasn't lol)

Cya 

Simon


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## Mishty (Apr 14, 2008)

simon_squarepants said:


> I always think that if a girl even needs to wonder whether she should make herself really fat then she's obviously got that desire, cos most women wouldn't even consider it!




Thankyou for responding!

I do hate labels of any kind, but I just wanted to know if I jumped tracks from "fat-girl" to "foodee" to "feedee".....

It's all kinda confusin at times!

:batting:


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## Tad (Apr 14, 2008)

I have no answers for you, but do have some questionsand hopefully they will help you to some answers? In all of the questions Im not trying to suggest that the answer is yes, because I have no idea. Up to you to decide what the answer is (and to respond publicly or to keep it to yourself)

Anyway, here goes:

- Do you think some of your enjoyment could be a sort of perverse pleasure, the joy of flaunting popular standards/being a rebel?
- Is being a BBW a major part of your identity? If so, does getting fatter again make you feel more like yourself?
- What is the balance between enjoying the unfettered eating and enjoying the weight gain? (that is, it sounds like you are probably enjoying both, but which is stronger?)
- Did you feel uncomfortable at all with the attention for losing weight?
- Do you like the attention, both from losing and gaining?
- Is change more exciting or more disturbing?
- Is the fact that a bunch of guys will have read your post and gotten hot and bothered by talking about your pants getting tight more interesting or off-putting?
- Did you feel sexier at your heaviest, lightest, or for you is that not really related to weight?
- When your weight was higher and stable, did you feel like you were invisible to people sometimes? If so, did that change with the losing?
- Would you rather have a guy tied to a chair and drive him into a sexual frenzy without touching him by what you say and do, or be tied to a chair and have a guy drive you into a sexual frenzy without touching you, but what he says and does?
- When you have eaten a lot in the last couple of weeks, are you thinking about how it will be making you bigger? Afterwards are you in a more sexual mood, or not?


Just some notes that might explain a few of the questions. 

Feedee is a very loosely defined word. There are some who would love to be made fat, a whole loss of control, partner making them more sexy thing, and there are also those who would more love to gain to turn on a partner, much more in control, enjoying how it enthralls their partner more and more. Some love being fat, some mostly like the process. For some the eating and being full are a major part of the appeal, for some those are just means to an end.

I dont think all enjoyment of gaining has to be feedee related per se. There can be the pleasure of flaunting the rules, there can be the pleasure of being a performer of sorts who garners attention for what you do, there can be the pleasure of going down a road without knowing where it will lead you. For some people one or more of those can be very strong things.

For some people being fat is part of who they are. How they see themselves, how they are used to interacting with others, how they expect others to see them. In that case no longer being fat can be quite disturbing because it changes part of their identity, which can be a very uncomfortable thing. So regaining ones identity can also be a really strong drive.


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## stillblessed23 (Apr 14, 2008)

Well Misty I can completly identify with you and that is cool. 
I had recently lost 40lbs and everyone in my life notices. Most people at work are always pointing it out or congragulating me. Then there is my best friend me and her almost got to our heaviest weight together lol. The only difference is she just loves food. She hates her body at that size and alwys obsesses over it.She can't help but be jealous of my weight loss and tells me all the time. I on the other hand loved myself bigger as far as vanity reasons go. I think I physically like being smaller,and by smaller I still mean 295 lbs lol, because I can just get more done in the course of a day. I am not so tired and I just feel healthier. But as far as being a feedee I think I have always been that. 
I think you need to look at what makes you feel better about yourself and then weigh the pros and cons of losing or gaining. I'm still on the fence. My biggest thing is I had to lose weight according to my doctor if I ever wanted to get pregnant. That was a bigger desire for me then being over 400lbs which is what I used to want. I am an attention whore though lol. I think I feed off of the attention ppl give me for my weight whether it is going up or down. I agree with the others that labels are overratted but if you truly enjoy being heavier than you just may be a feedee.


-Michelle


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## braindeadhead (Apr 14, 2008)

Labeling people is really stupid..... and a real time saver!

Sorry, that just always makes me laugh (Its a take off on an Onion story from a ways back)

I have no idea if your a feeedee or not. But since I'm a feeder its going to taint my imput. I think you should go with it for a while and enjoy it. IF you stop enjoying it or your health becomes a concern then stop. 

There is nothing wrong with enjoying the rush you get now... Sit and revel in the silliness of things for awhile


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## Bagalute (Apr 14, 2008)

Interesting questions and answers so far. I have nothing to add except that I think many of the things mentioned can add up or combine rather than exclude each other. Plus there's the physical effect: depending on how fast you have lost your weight, your body may not have adjusted to your changed needs on energy input yet and might be "defending its fat" so to speak (sorry, I'm not firm on all the bio/nutrition vocab in english)...


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## imfree (Apr 14, 2008)

Be careful if you are going to keep gaining,
a change of 12 lbs in two and a half weeks
sounds kinda' risky, it would probably be
safer to slow down.


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## boots (Apr 17, 2008)

OK, it's simple...

Are you sexually aroused by any physical aspect of your weight gain (look, feel, the weight itself, or the physical effect of weighing more)? If yes, then you're a feedee.

Is there any reason to give a rats ass if you can call yourself a feedee? Only if you're looking for someone who is completely indifferent towards or, most likely, gets off on watching you gain weight...along with whatever other romantic and intellectual requirements you have in a significant other; that's why labels aren't pointless when it comes to dating, because people have preferences.

Why should or shouldn't you gain weight? The only thing you need to ask yourself is how much weight are you willing to gain to get off on gaining weight. Of course you could like a dozen non-sexual aesthetic qualities or lifestyle preferences that come along with gaining x amount of weight in x amount of time. You could also get off on or otherwise enjoy pleasing your partner who wants to fatten you up, but all those are secondary. The central issue is: How much does it turn you on, and how important is that pleasure to you.

Some "feedees" might enjoy gaining 10 lbs, when it happens naturally, intentionally or not, and enjoy being a little softer and squishier while living an otherwise active life full of all sorts of wonders, like traveling, bicycling, or maybe even being president some day. Some aspire to gain 1000 lbs and are content with living a significantly shorter life that revolves around food, fat, and eventually helplessness. A life where every single day is spent in pure ecstasy, as a star burns bright, so to speak. 

As long as you can facilitate any lifestyle within that spectrum without inflicting unwanted hardship on another human being, there is no wrong answer to how much you can and should gain except: Whatever is more important to you than your hedonism sets the limit of how much weight you should gain, or if you should gain any weight at all. 

^_____________^


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## Mishty (Apr 19, 2008)

edx said:


> - Do you think some of your enjoyment could be a sort of perverse pleasure, the joy of flaunting popular standards/being a rebel?
> - Is being a BBW a major part of your identity? If so, does getting fatter again make you feel more like yourself?
> - What is the balance between enjoying the unfettered eating and enjoying the weight gain? (that is, it sounds like you are probably enjoying both, but which is stronger?)
> - Did you feel uncomfortable at all with the attention for losing weight?
> ...



These were really helpful, thank you so much for posting them!

The last 3 really made me put certain things into...place.


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## Mishty (Apr 19, 2008)

stillblessed23 said:


> Well Misty I can completly identify with you and that is cool.
> I had recently lost 40lbs and everyone in my life notices. Most people at work are always pointing it out or congragulating me. Then there is my best friend me and her almost got to our heaviest weight together lol. The only difference is she just loves food. She hates her body at that size and alwys obsesses over it.She can't help but be jealous of my weight loss and tells me all the time. I on the other hand loved myself bigger as far as vanity reasons go. I think I physically like being smaller,and by smaller I still mean 295 lbs lol, because I can just get more done in the course of a day. I am not so tired and I just feel healthier. But as far as being a feedee I think I have always been that.
> I think you need to look at what makes you feel better about yourself and then weigh the pros and cons of losing or gaining. I'm still on the fence. My biggest thing is I had to lose weight according to my doctor if I ever wanted to get pregnant. That was a bigger desire for me then being over 400lbs which is what I used to want. I am an attention whore though lol. I think I feed off of the attention ppl give me for my weight whether it is going up or down. I agree with the others that labels are overratted but if you truly enjoy being heavier than you just may be a feedee.
> 
> ...



Thanks Michelle, for the advice.
It's awesome having input from another female!


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## Mishty (Apr 19, 2008)

boots said:


> OK, it's simple...
> 
> Are you sexually aroused by any physical aspect of your weight gain (look, feel, the weight itself, or the physical effect of weighing more)? If yes, then you're a feedee.
> 
> ...





Yet another angle!
Thanks very much for the advice, and the blunt facts, very useful information concerning sexual insight into the feedee lifestyle! :happy:


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## bigirlover (Apr 19, 2008)

...Compliments are always nice and do make you feel good, but when people give you them JUST because you've lost weight makes you feel like they thought you were awful before. That's how I feel anyways. As far as your weight goes, if you are healthy enough now and want to regain the weight go for it! If you want a feeder, hit me up.  I'll give you compliments all the time!


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## KHayes666 (Apr 19, 2008)

Missblueyedeath said:


> Ok, I have an odd question.
> 
> Recently within the last 6 months,I lost around 50 pounds,unintentially of course.(medical reasons)
> I got great feedback from everyone around me, from sweet compliments, to little notes of encouragement from co-workers and of course the little "gasps" of diet-gone-right pleasure from annoying younger women.
> ...



hey Misty.....all I can offer for advice is do what YOU want. If you look in the mirror and love what you see, than people telling you to lose or even gain weight should not matter as much as your own opinion.

I always liked you just the way you are, but if you gain or lose weight and are happy with the results then I'm happy too ;-)


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## Curious Jane (May 1, 2008)

Missblueyedeath said:


> I've gained 12 pounds back in about two and half weeks! I've been eating whatever came my way, gorging on fast food, eat late, late night snacks full of carbs and peanut butter...



very interesting story...what's not clear to me is exactly why you started eating so much. can you explain?

thanks

jane


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## Mishty (May 5, 2008)

Curious Jane said:


> very interesting story...what's not clear to me is exactly why you started eating so much. can you explain?
> 
> thanks
> 
> jane



There really was no reason actually, I just started back into my old habits....but rather enjoyed them, instead of feeling guilty.

Hope that helps...


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## Curious Jane (May 5, 2008)

Missblueyedeath said:


> There really was no reason actually, I just started back into my old habits....but rather enjoyed them, instead of feeling guilty.



no guilt...is that because they were regained pounds instead of new ones? or are you just past worrying about that stuff?


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## largenlovely (May 10, 2008)

great post and great questions....I agree with everyone in that labels suck, but sometimes those labels help us to understand ourselves a little better..so i can see where you're coming from. 

I tooooooootally understand the whole rebellious thing. In fact, it pisses me off if someone makes a comment that i might have lost weight... for a couple reasons. I think first and foremost is the rebellion. It makes me angry that they think i want to conform to their weight standards. for two, i feel like "who the fuck cares" ya know? why are they so concerned to notice if i gain or lose...and even if it's enough of a weight loss to notice, why should this be so important for them to comment on it? (which i guess is still my rotten attitude lol) Now...it's different online in this community being that i have a website, the fellas are GOING to notice a weight fluctuation and i expect that hehe, i just mean like if my gramma says something or whatever.

i've always had that "naughty" little fat girl in me too lol. When i was a teen i would sneak food..as an adult i'm just brazen enough to brag about it. Though i gotta admit, i do miss the fun of all that sneaking to eat food hehe. 

does it make us feedees? i have no idea ...maybe lol





Missblueyedeath said:


> I got great feedback from everyone around me, from sweet compliments, to little notes of encouragement from co-workers and of course the little "gasps" of diet-gone-right pleasure from annoying younger women.
> I'm not an attention whore at all, but I felt kinda awesome pleasing everyone, my mom off my back about my weight, my friends excited about my new figure....
> but
> 
> ...


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## largenlovely (May 10, 2008)

you got repped for this...very thought provoking post. 

let me start a potential contoversy here lol

I've heard some men say that "all fat girls are feedees", whether they want to admit it or not. The generalization sounds absurd, but if you think about it, it does make one wonder. I would definitely say this presumption is ridiculous concerning all bbw's, but would this be so far fetched to think that it could be true of a high number of ssbbw's? 

once you pass from bbw to ssbbw especially, i think one would (at some point) have to question your food motivations. I've only been doing this recently myself..but it has been an interesting journey into my own psyche. Perhaps there is a little bit of feedee in all of us supersized fatties? I don't know...some say it doesn't matter, but there's nothing wrong in self exploration. 

I have to say that there's no black or white when it comes to being a feedee or not though...so many gray areas here. You can enjoy certain aspects and not others..i have no answers though really...mostly just questions lol

anyway, great post here Edx  i enjoyed reading it 



edx said:


> I have no answers for you, but do have some questionsand hopefully they will help you to some answers? In all of the questions Im not trying to suggest that the answer is yes, because I have no idea. Up to you to decide what the answer is (and to respond publicly or to keep it to yourself)
> 
> Anyway, here goes:
> 
> ...


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## taetaegrrl (May 22, 2008)

Whoever commented that "all women who enjoy being bigger are feedees" bothered me a little bit, too. I guess I always thought "feedee" defined a person who enjoys being fed (presumably to the point of being stuffed), anywhere from on a "special occasion" to "on a regular basis".

I don't know that I, personally, get anything special out of anyone else trying to feed me? I may or may not even enjoy that at all, depending on the person and the circumstances.

For that matter, I only *sometimes* get a thrill out of being able to eat a lot at one sitting. I don't ever really do it for myself, either. I think it's more a thing where my "exhibitionist" side takes over. I want to do it in front of someone else who I know is impressed or amazed by it, you know?

On the other hand, it's kind of undeniable fact that if a person wants to be "big", they probably have to eat a lot to achieve that goal. I tend to "clean my plate" when I eat with that fact in mind. (I tend to lose about 30lbs. fairly quickly if I'm not at least mindful of it - because I'm one who can skip meals and not really care otherwise, if I'm involved in other things that interest me.) It's just that calling me a "feedee" seems like it places "focus" on the wrong part of what is sensual to me.





largenlovely said:


> you got repped for this...very thought provoking post.
> 
> let me start a potential contoversy here lol
> 
> ...


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