# Toxic Work Environment



## LinathSuru (Feb 17, 2012)

I've mentioned before in my youtube videos that I'm working in a very conservative office, but my office is a lot of other things too. We have six employees. Of the six I'm the newest one brought on as of almost three years ago (May makes three years).

One of my coworkers is mildly racist. Another is much more outspokenly racist. (I don't think either of these people consider themselves such, but if you listen to them, you know). All of them are extreme Republicans who blast Rush Limbaugh on the radio through my entire workday.

I'm the only woman in the office. The youngest in the office. The newest in the office. The heaviest in the office.

The last is the other part of why this atmosphere is toxic. It's bad enough to listen to them talking about 'blacks' or 'frogs' in the way they do, but we work closely with health records....

One of my coworkers in particular.. And I'm right next to his office.. And regularly hear him saying, "She weighs xxx lbs. And she wonders why she's injured!"

Just today, literally, I overheard him telling another coworker, "You know that [client's] employee who had Gastric Bypass? She still weighs over 300 lbs. And she wonders why she's having headaches! I just don't understand people like her."

It just grates, and grates, and _grates_. I could go to my boss (president of the company), but how would he manage this situation? Surely in such a small office where all the guys are on one page and in agreement they'd have to know who complained about their comments.

But really, I get up every day and come to my office and do my work, but this wears on me. Someday I just know I'm going to confront him about it. "Really, what do you think of me? Do you say that when I'm out with a migraine? Would you say it's my own fault if I broke my ankle?"

It's always there under the surface. I just can't afford it right now. I support myself and my husband and to a smaller degree my own parents. The economy has been hard on us all...

How much longer can I tolerate this toxic atmosphere before doing something? I don't know...

Here's a question for some of you other folks though, when the time does come to do something about it.. What would you do? Confront him directly or speak to your boss? Some other avenue I'm overlooking perhaps? 

What I'm trying to do now is find a new job so that when I finally do confront him my loved ones don't hurt for my lost income.


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## Fat Brian (Feb 17, 2012)

If you have a good relationship with your boss and he doesn't strike you as being too similar to the other employees I would go to him and tell him about the issues you have. I would probably stick to the size related comments, things that apply to you and make you uncomfortable. Maybe there is a way you could work from home or you could have a more private area away from the troublemakers. I don't know if he would be able to get them to change their behavior but at least you could insulate yourself from them.


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## Jeeshcristina (Feb 17, 2012)

LinathSuru said:


> I've mentioned before in my youtube videos that I'm working in a very conservative office, but my office is a lot of other things too. We have six employees. Of the six I'm the newest one brought on as of almost three years ago (May makes three years).
> 
> One of my coworkers is mildly racist. Another is much more outspokenly racist. (I don't think either of these people consider themselves such, but if you listen to them, you know). All of them are extreme Republicans who blast Rush Limbaugh on the radio through my entire workday.
> 
> ...



I was going to say that you could be living where I am, and then realized that you do! I'm not really surprised by your co-workers, honestly, in a place like Texas, it's not uncommon at all. I would be careful of how you approach the subject, because it is very sensitive. I know how it feels to be at your breaking point though. I think that honestly, they don't mean to hurt your feelings or offend you, and they may have a case of foot in mouth disease. In Texas, you just assume everyone is a super conservative ultra religious right wing person. I know it's wrong, but they do, and it's not usually meant with malice. On several occasions, I'd listen to the kind of racist comments and wonder if they just didn't know any better or what the deal was...but sadly, that is part of the culture here. I would mention it to your boss, if you had a good relationship with him, but finding a job in a more balanced environment may be necessary. That type of boys club is so difficult to be in, I tried it before and decided it just wasn't worth it. That being said, there are legal options if you feel you're being discriminated against in any way, and you should talk to you boss if you feel singled out.

Good luck!


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## Ernest Nagel (Feb 17, 2012)

"Am I to set my life upon a throw,
Because a bear is rude and surly? No
A moral, sensible, and well-bred man,
Will not affront me, and no other can." ~
Cowper.Conversation, Line 191.See Dwelling.


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## LinathSuru (Feb 17, 2012)

Fat Brian said:


> If you have a good relationship with your boss and he doesn't strike you as being too similar to the other employees I would go to him and tell him about the issues you have. I would probably stick to the size related comments, things that apply to you and make you uncomfortable. Maybe there is a way you could work from home or you could have a more private area away from the troublemakers. I don't know if he would be able to get them to change their behavior but at least you could insulate yourself from them.



This might be the route to go when the time comes. It probably will be. As much as I'd love to go off on the offending coworker(s), that would likely solve nothing and just be entirely unprofessional on my part. 



Jeeshcristina said:


> I was going to say that you could be living where I am, and then realized that you do!



Too funny! 



Jeeshcristina said:


> I'm not really surprised by your co-workers, honestly, in a place like Texas, it's not uncommon at all. I would be careful of how you approach the subject, because it is very sensitive. I know how it feels to be at your breaking point though. I think that honestly, they don't mean to hurt your feelings or offend you, and they may have a case of foot in mouth disease. In Texas, you just assume everyone is a super conservative ultra religious right wing person. I know it's wrong, but they do, and it's not usually meant with malice. On several occasions, I'd listen to the kind of racist comments and wonder if they just didn't know any better or what the deal was...but sadly, that is part of the culture here. I would mention it to your boss, if you had a good relationship with him, but finding a job in a more balanced environment may be necessary. That type of boys club is so difficult to be in, I tried it before and decided it just wasn't worth it. That being said, there are legal options if you feel you're being discriminated against in any way, and you should talk to you boss if you feel singled out.
> 
> Good luck!



I'm not being discriminated against or I would have acted. I am being offended on a regular basis by their careless comments, but I'm fairly certain there's no legal action for that... Nor would it probably be worth it. I honestly think these folks are pretty nice folks and my job's a decent one.. But it is so grating to hear the things they say. So often I find myself wondering how they grew up to think some of this stuff is okay.

The other day the offending coworker told me how lucky they were I was hired rather than the girl who interviewed before me because she was black and they wouldn't have been able to play Rush Limbaugh through the office and talk trash about Obama the way they do. >.>

He goes on and on about these employee's weights and health, and then offers me his left over McDonald's fries because he hates to throw food away.

I don't think he means harm by it, or any ill at all, but how can he not realize that what he's saying might be offensive? A few times now I've tried approaching him subtly about it when opportunity presented itself... He just doesn't catch the hint.



Thanks for sharing your thoughts Jeeshchristina and Fat Brian. If nothing else it felt good to get it off my chest. I'll just wait this out and proceed with caution and we'll see where things lead.




Ernest Nagel said:


> "Am I to set my life upon a throw,
> Because a bear is rude and surly? No
> A moral, sensible, and well-bred man,
> Will not affront me, and no other can." ~
> Cowper.Conversation, Line 191.See Dwelling.



A choice quotation, and one I would agree with on most occasions. After a long enough time though, it's hard to remain callous to what is being said around me.


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## Jes (Feb 17, 2012)

LinathSuru said:


> What I'm trying to do now is find a new job so that when I finally do confront him my loved ones don't hurt for my lost income.



Start right now making a list of what you hear, when you hear it, etc. After a few weeks, ask to speak to your boss, tell him what's bothering you, tell him why you feel it's impacting your work/the work the office does, and show him the documentation you have. Offer to have a meeting with your colleagues with the boss there to moderate the discussion. Let him sit with everything you'e said for awhile and also let him know you plan to make another appointment with him in a week or so to discuss where you all go from here.

It will probably feel very scary to do this, which is why I'm telling you to document everything starting right now. Make talking points for your discussion and bring them with, too.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Feb 17, 2012)

Jes has given you great advice; if you need to confront the problem, this is the way to do it. All I want to add is: how badly do you need to confront the problem? From your post, I get the idea that these guys are not _trying_ to get your goat; they're just insensitive assholes. But if they decide they hate you and they deliberately _try_ to break you down -- and they back each other up and cover for each other -- how much worse will it be? I get the impression that you need to keep your job, and you've said that if you complain to the boss, they'll know who did it. If the boss reprimands them, are they the kind of guys who will feel humiliated and want to get back at you any way they can? I don't know the answers to these questions, and I'm not trying to dissuade you from speaking out: in fact, I admire your courage for being willing to do so. Whatever you decide to do, good luck.


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## Tad (Feb 17, 2012)

Reading this, my thoughts went down two paths.

The simpler is “the best revenge is living well.” Go find a better job, enjoy it, and leave them behind. This may not be possible, but if the environment is irrevocably toxic, that is probably a good goal.

This other one is harder to explain. I’m going to try a metaphor, my apologies if it fails miserably.

Imagine your co-workers as a bunch of old bulls in a pasture. All they really want to do is eat their grass in peace, but being bulls they still have to maintain some pride. They will snort, they will toss their heads, they will generally make it clear that they are not to be messed with and you should give them lots of room. (oh, and being bulls, you know what all that grass will turn into by the time it reaches the other end…)

If you challenge any of those bulls directly, they probably won’t back down, and they can probably still trample you. If they are not giving you enough space, maybe you could get the farmer to do something about it, but if you are all sharing a pasture, how much could he really do?

On the other hand, those bulls don’t really want to fight, and they don’t want to be uncomfortable….really they just want to get on with eating their grass. You could try and make like the other bulls, and hope that they’ll give you the same respect and distance….but they might take that as a challenge, coming from the youngin. Or you can just try to make it easier for them to eat their grass (and drop their BS) somewhere else.

The equivalent of tossing your head and snorting and generally carrying on like a bull would probably be to start making similar comments, about patients who are more like them. “Geez, he’s a smoker, no wonder he needed a lung transplant at 57.” “Hunh, car accident with no seat belt. Mid-life crisis and he had to show off?” “Another case of colon cancer, geez all that barbecue is rough on good ol boys.” Or whatever. The point being that if it is fair to make comments, the comments can sting at them too. This might get them to back off on the comments, or at least not do them so close to you, but it could escalate thing.

The less confrontational path would probably be a more subtle campaign to change the culture of the office. 
-	Perhaps ask if it would be OK if you could wear sound cancelling headphones (if you can afford them), “because the discussion of patient files is distracting and, frankly, kind of disturbing. I never know if it could be my mother you are talking about.” 
-	Or skip the headphones, and just mention your issue with such discussions. 
-	If you are allowed to decorate your cube at all, maybe put up posters or even buttons from groups that promote all forms of equality. 
-	Find events with equality as a theme, try to go to them, and then talk about them—it doesn’t sound like these guys want to come out and sound bigoted, so they are not so apt to take you on about such things (this could be gay pride, something about racial integration or immigrant support…..the details almost don’t matter, just go, then talk about having gone, and what a great cause it is, and how it is maybe a bit sad that in this day and age people still need to fight for basic respect.)
-	Never call them directly on their comments, just regularly make more progressive comments.

There is no guarantee that this will work (part of why you keep job hunting). But then again….it is possible that the guy who is so bigoted on race has a cousin who is gay, but doesn’t bring up gay rights because he knows the other guys are down on it. And one of those may not be big on gays, but things the racism in the office is pretty stupid, but just doesn’t say anything.

I wouldn’t rate your odds of changing them a ton as all that high….but you know, even twenty years ago I remember being large companies where people had the walls postered with &#8216;the page 3 sunshine girl’ from the daily tabloid paper, and everyone just kind of accepted that sexism…until it was brought up, and down the pictures went, with very little comment. They may be too stuck in their ways, but, sometimes people surprise you.

Whatever you do, good luck in getting yourself into a healthier working environment.


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## CastingPearls (Feb 17, 2012)

Jes said:


> Start right now making a list of what you hear, when you hear it, etc. After a few weeks, ask to speak to your boss, tell him what's bothering you, tell him why you feel it's impacting your work/the work the office does, and show him the documentation you have. Offer to have a meeting with your colleagues with the boss there to moderate the discussion. Let him sit with everything you'e said for awhile and also let him know you plan to make another appointment with him in a week or so to discuss where you all go from here.
> 
> It will probably feel very scary to do this, which is why I'm telling you to document everything starting right now. Make talking points for your discussion and bring them with, too.


This is the best course of action to take. I had to do it myself. I was looking for a new job anyway, had already had a free consult with an attorney to see what my options were (which totally empowered me), but one day, it was just the last straw and I went to one of the owners (I answered directly to them) and I explained why I was leaving (the person who was being the most bigoted and discriminating was a relative of his, as was most of management, except me, so there was no way he could or would do anything to stop the behavior). I made him aware of my notes, (even jotting down on a desk calender counts) and asked him to lay me off so I could collect unemployment and although he asked me to reconsider, he typed a letter himself, stating that I was being laid off because my position had been eliminated and I collected for about about 8 weeks until I found another much better job. 

Don't confront your coworkers, nor take any revenge against them, please. It could backfire and hurt you. Success is the best revenge.


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## Donna (Feb 17, 2012)

Since I work in HR for a major health care organization, your post left me piqued. How big is the company you work for? Is your boss/owner the only course of action? Is there an HR department/person you can go to? An Ethics and Compliance Officer? 

Is there any chance anyone else could be walking down a hallway and hear these comments? Visitors or customers who could over hear such conversations? One of my biggest concerns is that making comments such as you describe regarding a person's medical records is a potential HIPAA violation. The general rule of thumb for HIPAA is that info is shared/discussed it should be done in a clinical fashion and on a "need to know only basis". These statements are clearly not being shared as a need to know and are the opposite of clinical. 

Loud, blaring music (or in this case, Rush Limbaugh's particular brand of verbal diarrhea,) and racists remarks can also be construed as creating a hostile work environment. 

Jes and Casting Pearls have offered some very helpful and sound advice. Document what is happening with dates, times, and notes regarding the conversations. Keep the notes where no one else can find them. Do not confront the toxic coworkers unless there is no way around it...they could turn it around and use that confrontation against you. I've worked in similar toxic environments and been in situations similar, so I think I know how powerless you feel. Morally, no one should have to tolerate that kind of behavior from their coworkers. But I am also a realist and knowing the law, I know it does happen all the time. I don't say that to discourage you from attempting to fix it. I know you feel like you would be singled out by everyone else should your boss take any kind of punitive action against your coworkers. However if the situation is handled correctly there is no need for you to be singled out.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Feel free to private message me here anytime if you need to chat about this privately.


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## moore2me (Feb 17, 2012)

LinathSuru said:


> (snipped) . . .
> 
> It's always there under the surface. I just can't afford it right now. I support myself and my husband and to a smaller degree my own parents. The economy has been hard on us all...
> 
> ...



There was an important saying during WWII with the US Navy . . .* "Loose Lips Sink Ships!. * This idle, malicious gossip of your male co-workers may just possibly sink the ship of your boss's business. Why? 

Confidentiality of medical records are very heavily regulated by several major government "big dogs". *HIPPA* and *OSHA* are two of the federal Rottweilers that have detailed laws about confidentiality of medical records. These regulators are not amused by your co-workers tossing about names of people and joking about patients infirmities. The federal authorities also commonly conduct inspections and issue fines in cases involving violations of their regs. The fines for egregious violations (very bad, very prevalent) can be over millions of dollars. 

Businesses have been brought to their knees and have closed their doors when the bloodbath is over. And then, there can be civil cases when the specific people whose records were defamed find out and sue to BeJesus out of the company charged to hold the medical records in safekeeping or insurance processing. Most written final reports of OSHA and HHS (Health and Human Services) findings are public records, so the first violations make handy publically available records for the second trial - the civil trial. (This type of litigation is still ongoing in the asbestos industry.)

*I think that informing your boss that there may be a potentially severe problem lurking and growing in his/her business would be doing the company a great favor.* Tell them you like working for the company and you don't want to see them hurt by some careless violations of government confidentiality regulations. If you want to stay on your co-workers good side, say that you think if they understand the gravity of the "Loose Lips" chattering about peoples medical records, the problem should stop or at least become silent thoughts only.

*If you want some kudos or some possible atta girls you could even volunteer to study the regs and present a training session to your fellow employees.* (There is a lot of free training material online that you can use.) The government also requires keeping records of such training, which you could also volunteer to do (this won't be hard either) and will make you a more valuable employee.

*OSHA  General Industry  Access to Medical Records* 29 CFR 1910.1020 (link below)
http://www.osha.gov/pls/oshaweb/owadisp.show_document?p_table=STANDARDS&p_id=10027

Also, * OSHA Construction  Access to Medical Records *29 CFR 1926. 33 (link below)
http://www.osha.gov/pls/oshaweb/owadisp.show_document?p_table=STANDARDS&p_id=10619

*HIPPA Regs by HHS (US Dept of Health and Human Services)*
http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/privacy/
 http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/privacy/hipaa/faq/notice_of_privacy_practices/index.html

_To provide individuals with an accounting for disclosures, does a covered entity have to document each medical record that may be accessed by a public health authority in the course of surveillance activities that involve all patient records?_
http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/privacy/hipaa/faq/public_health_uses_and_disclosures/465.html

_Are the following types of insurance covered under HIPAA: long/short term disability; workers' compensation; automobile liability that includes coverage for medical payments?_
http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/privacy/hipaa/faq/smaller_providers_and_businesses/364.html

_Who must comply with HIPAA privacy standards?_
http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/privacy/hipaa/faq/privacy_rule_general_topics/190.html


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## LinathSuru (Feb 18, 2012)

Donna and moore2me, they're definitely in violation of HIPAA. Have been since I got on the job. No outside people would ever overhear the kinds of comments they make except perhaps a particular friend of the president's who's been using our conference room as an office every-so-often since losing his job with one of our clients. I know so many details I don't need to about so many claims (we're a risk management company and a lot of information comes through our hands). 

It's quite possible the president doesn't realize just how far it goes and this could well be a solution for my work environment as they don't make comments about me or directed at me (it's always about the claimants). Not sure how I didn't think of this myself.

As for HR, we're a company of six employees. None of them are HR. My boss (the president) has made clear I can talk to him if anything should bother me in the office, especially since I'm the only woman there. He's very considerate himself and minds what he says around me and to a degree keeps the other folks in line. I know he would listen, the only thing that stopped me from talking to him directly was the fear of possible resentment on the parts of the offending coworkers.

I think I'll do a combination of what Jes suggests and what you two (Donna and moore2me) brought up. If I document the violations of HIPAA I'm overhearing (which covers at least of 90% of their sizeist comments) it's something I'm fairly certain can be handled decisively and logically rather than through emotion.

I'm feeling so uplifted now. Still irks me I can't do anything about their racist comments directly, but maybe if I address my concerns with my president regarding that while giving him the documentation of the HIPAA violations we can integrate the solutions together.



Gosh, I started this thread mainly to get this all off my chest, but I'm so _so_ glad I did. I've gotten a lot of good advice and insight from all of you and I'm grateful for it. I'll keep y'all posted how things work out. 

*Hugs all around*


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## Ernest Nagel (Feb 22, 2012)

"The most important human endeavor is the striving for morality in our actions. Our inner balance and even our very existence depend on it. Only morality in our actions can give beauty and dignity to life." ~ Albert Einstein 

Struggled with whether to post this here, Linath. In the end I felt it would be disrespectful of you to withhold it. I try to live by this, to be a mensch, and often fail but the effort gives me hope and sustains me. Namaste. :bow:


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## Blackhawk2293 (Feb 23, 2012)

LinathSuru said:


> I've mentioned before in my youtube videos that I'm working in a very conservative office, but my office is a lot of other things too. We have six employees. Of the six I'm the newest one brought on as of almost three years ago (May makes three years).
> 
> One of my coworkers is mildly racist. Another is much more outspokenly racist. (I don't think either of these people consider themselves such, but if you listen to them, you know). All of them are extreme Republicans who blast Rush Limbaugh on the radio through my entire workday.
> 
> ...



Unfortunately toxic work environments are part of life when working in confined office environments. In my case I couldn't complain to my boss because she was the one instigating the racial discrimination and all of her minions were in on it... and she had plenty of them.

My initial solution was to take it to our union and initiate industrial action against those involved, the problem with that one is that if you don't have a Union Organizer or Representative that has the will to take on the upper management then your campaign will fail before it even begins.

My ultimate solution was to leave... not just leave the job, I sold my car, I gave up my rented apartment, and then left my country (Australia) as well. I moved to South America for a good portion of last year and did some volunteer work there. After being in a toxic office environment for as long as I was, it was so refreshing to work outdoors with people that actually cared about their work and managers that were able to have a management style other than bully the shit out of people. I don't know how practical that is for you but have a think about it anyway.


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## HereticFA (Feb 23, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> This is the best course of action to take. I had to do it myself. I was looking for a new job anyway, had already had a free consult with an attorney to see what my options were (which totally empowered me), but one day, it was just the last straw and I went to one of the owners (I answered directly to them) and I explained why I was leaving (the person who was being the most bigoted and discriminating was a relative of his, as was most of management, except me, so there was no way he could or would do anything to stop the behavior). I made him aware of my notes, (even jotting down on a desk calender counts) and asked him to lay me off so I could collect unemployment and although he asked me to reconsider, he typed a letter himself, stating that I was being laid off because my position had been eliminated and I collected for about about 8 weeks until I found another much better job.
> 
> Don't confront your coworkers, nor take any revenge against them, please. It could backfire and hurt you. Success is the best revenge.



This is absolutely the best approach in the absence of finding a job before you jump. Since you've been there three years, I'd say to take that experience in the field and sell yourself up to a better paying job somewhere else and shed your stress before you develop stress related health issues that they'll blame on your weight.

You're lucky to be working in the Dallas area since we have a much better job situation than much of the rest of the country. There are plenty of companies around with over 50 employees you should check into as they will probably have a Human Resources department with written policies and procedures. Nowadays it's pretty much a zero tolerance of the kinds of actions you've described in most mid-size and larger companies. At mine, those actions would be the fast track for disciplinary action. If the numerous diversity training classes and refreshers you regularly have to take didn't get the point across to you, I'd say you're probably going to be escorted out the door in short order.

Good luck with whatever path you choose.


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## LinathSuru (Mar 1, 2012)

*Breathes* Well, I've talked to my boss. And rather than 'hide' behind the HIPAA concerns, I let him know why I was originally coming to him and suggested that HIPAA was a concern as well, specially with his friend in the office. I also mentioned the 'racist' nature of some of the things I've heard around here.

I feel pretty scared on the one hand, just cause I don't know how he'll handle it when he addresses it with the guys, but he received it well and that reassures me a bit.

We'll see where this goes from here I suppose. *wriggles a bit.* He won't address it for a while yet because he wants to protect me since he and I were in his office with the door closed for this conversation.

At any rate, I'll keep you posted. Thanks again for all the advice and support. I don't know how I would have handled this without having such a sounding board. *Hugs all around.*


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## Tad (Mar 1, 2012)

Can't rep you just yet, but you have 'bravery rep' coming your way. That took guts, good job, and I hope it all works out well.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Mar 1, 2012)

Tad said:


> Can't rep you just yet, but you have 'bravery rep' coming your way. That took guts, good job, and I hope it all works out well.



I repped her for you ... and me.


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## Surlysomething (Mar 1, 2012)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> I repped her for you ... and me.


 

I repped her too.

It's hard thing to do, confronting your employer. Especially when you're the only woman in the office.


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## LinathSuru (Mar 1, 2012)

Thank you all again. It definitely was a bit nerve-wracking. I told my boss I'm not trying to create waves or anything. He understood. He commented that really the offending coworker needs to be more sensitive. Particularly working so close to the only woman int he office (his office is right by mine). It really does feel good to have taken action though, and I'm prepared if any follow-up action is required on my part, including addressing them directly (and by this I mean in a meeting environment with the boss there or something like that. I doubt it will come to this though.).


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## Ernest Nagel (Mar 1, 2012)

LinathSuru said:


> Thank you all again. It definitely was a bit nerve-wracking. I told my boss I'm not trying to create waves or anything. He understood. He commented that really the offending coworker needs to be more sensitive. Particularly working so close to the only woman int he office (his office is right by mine). It really does feel good to have taken action though, and I'm prepared if any follow-up action is required on my part, including addressing them directly (and by this I mean in a meeting environment with the boss there or something like that. I doubt it will come to this though.).



ACKNOWLEDGE, v.t. To confess. Acknowledgement of one another's faults is the highest duty imposed by our love of truth. ~ Ambrose Bierce 

Muchos kudos, LS. :bow:


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## ThikJerseyChik (Mar 9, 2012)

is to document document document.

I have been in your situation more times then not -- you will need a paper trail when you do decide to act.

Good luck!


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## LinathSuru (Mar 29, 2012)

Just an update for all of those who've followed this...

It seems my boss has spoken with the insensitive coworker because he seems to be much less vocal about topics involving weight and doesn't discuss claimants openly anymore.

However, with the Trayvon Martin killing the racism has gone through the roof around here. Just now insensitive coworker was showing another coworker a video and I heard the other one say "I don't understand how people can do that," to which insensitive responded, "Black people, Man." 

I don't know what they were watching as I was not in the office at that time. I think this particular part of my battle is going to take longer to fight, but I mean to keep bringing to to the boss-man's attention (with lots of documentation).


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## it's only me (Mar 30, 2012)

your best bet is to get a small tape recorder & start recording that way it won't be your word against theirs also it'll be harder to get out of it. i wanted to jump in a while ago i just tried to stay out of it & keep my 2 cents to myself.


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## FA Punk (Mar 30, 2012)

it's only me said:


> *your best bet is to get a small tape recorder & start recording *that way it won't be your word against theirs also it'll be harder to get out of it. i wanted to jump in a while ago i just tried to stay out of it & keep my 2 cents to myself.



I don't think thats legal.


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## it's only me (Mar 30, 2012)

FA Punk said:


> I don't think thats legal.



oh i guess i was wrong, i thought it was legal , i remember back in the 90's when someone recorded something at a company that wouldn't promote AA's(african americans), it was something about leaving the black jelly beans at the bottom of the jar, & some how it got out to the press, i don't know if you remember it or not.
i don't know if they found out who recorded it or not, but it was obvious there was only whites in the meeting & i quess who ever said it thought everyone else felt the same way the rest of them.


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## grubnboy (Mar 30, 2012)

to be honest. i actually wouldn't bring it up. the office you work in sounds like the kind of place that might let you go, since as you said earlier, they're all on the same page. 

yes you are in the right to complain about it, but that's not going to stop anybody or all of a sudden change the atmosphere. in fact it will likely make it impossible for you to work there, if you don't get outright let go for some reason or another. 

personally, what i would do is to hunt for another job. you've been there 3 years, a few more months won't hurt. look for another gig and when you find it, let your coworkers know how you feel as you're on your way out.


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## Captain Save (Mar 31, 2012)

LinathSuru,

from what I have gleaned of your colleagues in the office, respect and professional behavior will be a long uphill battle lasting several years at best. On one hand, your colleagues would forget completely how to behave if you weren't there to put up resistance to their misdeeds, and would open up your employer to legal situations I'm sure he'd rather avoid. On the other, life is short, and this war may soak up precious years of your own in order to effect change in what sounds like a bastion of hate driven people who may be considerably resistant to change. While it's nice to know who you're working with, I have to agree with the previous poster and encourage your efforts to find a better environment; dealing with outspoken ideological opposites every day at work doesn't sound like a healthy atmosphere, and no paycheck is worth that. You strike me as an intelligent, sophisticated and charming young lady, and I wish you the best of luck in finding something better suited to your temperament and talents.


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## moore2me (Mar 31, 2012)

LinathSuru said:


> Just an update for all of those who've followed this...
> 
> It seems my boss has spoken with the insensitive coworker because he seems to be much less vocal about topics involving weight and doesn't discuss claimants openly anymore.
> 
> ...



My goodness LinathSuru, you seem to attract problem causes like a magnet attracts nails. I know this type of controversy has got to negatively affect your work place job performance. I do have a few things to add to this new development - (some of this may help you.)

*First, it is not illegal in Texas to record work related conversation under two conditions. The first condition is when one of the participants doing the recording is involved and included in the conversation - recording is allowed in the state of Texas. The second type of legal recordings are ones done by the employers (especially when checking quality of service provided*). However, employees should not expect privacy when using the employer's equipment (telephone or computer email) on the employer's time (working hours). 

I have included a few sites that describe what the rules are in such situations. Also, many states (including Arkansas) have identical workplace rules. (These links on legal recording are at the end of my post.)

*The second thought that came to me as I read your posts are these guys in this office have way too much time on their hands  someone needs to give them more work!* If the good old boys can spend time wagging their tongues and offending co-workers with idle chatter, there is time to do some extra on-the-job duties. Its an excellent example of the adage* An idle mind is the devils workplace. 
*
So, a savy office manager or employer should notice or investigate and discover the wasted time and redirect employee job duties. This correction or tune-up of employees daily workload is not something that should be on your shoulders  this is something that a well trained or competent manager should fix. It is not your bad - its the mans error and the company is bleeding money by this wasting of manpower. This is one of the problems raising our insurance and workers comp health costs  one that cannot be blamed on fat people.

And *my third and final comment on this post is probably to call your attention to something you already know  racial discrimination is also a federally enforced violation of our civil rights. To bring this issue into the light in the middle of unfavorable office politics and the traditional bull pen is very, very serious business  especially for a young lady working alone. *Other posters have advised it would probably be better if you found another place to work. Finding a job these days is hard and a person needs a paycheck to keep body and soul together. so quitting is also serious. *However, fighting a racial civil rights issue can be dangerous  for you. Goggle racial hate crimes in Texas* and similar searches and read for yourself if you need more info. 


http://www.twc.state.tx.us/news/efte/references_background_checks.html
http://thelaw.tv/sanantonio/Employment+Law/EMP-1019
http://www.fiddlerlaw.com/4-tips-for-recording-workplace-conversations.php


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## tonynyc (Mar 31, 2012)

Since you have IT skills (did you ever mention which software do you work with?) - you might want to check the job boards like 

dice.com

careerbuilder.com

women for hire

texas Information Technology Jobs

computerworld

if you haven't already done so... No sense being in a place that you are not happy.


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