# Experiences of FA confidence?



## superodalisque (Nov 17, 2009)

everyone focuses on BBWs being confident but what about FAs? what have your experiences been? do you find the FAs you've met to have confidence that applies to other parts of his life as well as to you? what percentage of FAs would you say are confident? how does this reality affect you?


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## Filly (Nov 17, 2009)

Interesting post Superodalisque!!

Not having met many FA's myself, I'm definitely not in the best position to provide much meaningful input to this thread. However, I am interested to see what some of the responses are! 

I think there is a perception out there that many FA's are submissive and somewhat shy. I dont know whether there is actually any validity to that theory, but from my (VERY limited) exposure to FAs at the April NJ Bash, I would have to state that some of the FAs I met were less 'out there' than their significant others. I could be WAY off the mark there, but that was my perception. Important to note however, that the Bashes are kind of catered to (SS)BBWs so women may appear more outgoing in those situations due to the feeling of freedom some might experience at BBW events.

Anyway, I've kind of gone off on a tangent.....

I think it likely that there is as much variety of personalities in the FA community as there is in the population more generally. 

Interested to see what people have to say!


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## kieran1394 (Nov 18, 2009)

I'm confident as hell, truust me. Although, I have noticed that a lot of other fellow FA's aren't all that confident for some reason.

I guess it depends on the person.


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## superodalisque (Nov 18, 2009)

kieran1394 said:


> I'm confident as hell, truust me. Although, I have noticed that a lot of other fellow FA's aren't all that confident for some reason.
> 
> I guess it depends on the person.



it definitely depends on the person. but i'm looking for good ole stereotypes and generalizations


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## luv4biggurls (Nov 18, 2009)

I'm the same proud Afro-Cuabn/Japanese brutha with a lovely bbbw or ssbbbw on my arm or not. I have confidence in my abilities and I carry myself with honor and respect. Most are worry what other think....I'm free from all my insecurities. I have meditated and worked hard to get myself to this point...Super as usual you ask good questions...I still hope to chat with you one [email protected]


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## superodalisque (Nov 18, 2009)

luv4biggurls said:


> I'm the same proud Afro-Cuabn/Japanese brutha with a lovely bbbw or ssbbbw on my arm or not. I have confidence in my abilities and I carry myself with honor and respect. Most are worry what other think....I'm free from all my insecurities. I have meditated and worked hard to get myself to this point...Super as usual you ask good questions...I still hope to chat with you one [email protected]



its nice that you do, but i'm really not looking for opinions of FAs of themselves. say hey anytime.


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## Inhibited (Nov 18, 2009)

> Filly said:
> 
> 
> > Not having met many FA's myself, I'm definitely not in the best position to provide much meaningful input to this thread. However, I am interested to see what some of the responses are!
> ...


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## superodalisque (Nov 18, 2009)

Inhibited said:


> > Am in the same situation Filly i have never met an FA either, though i must admit until becoming a member of Dims i never knew FA's existed, sure i have had BF's but i never knew how i was meant to be treated. Since being a member i have learnt that umm how can i put it FA's like the whole body and they take you out in public.. I really hope not all FA's are submissive and shy i need someone who doesn't hold back....
> 
> 
> 
> so are you only thinking of sexual confidence or do you need other kinds of confidence as well?


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## Inhibited (Nov 18, 2009)

> Def in all areas, but i wouldn't really call it confidence, they are just being themselves, just being natural, i have heard some people say that they like going out and showing their ssbbw/bbw girlfriend off i don't want to go out for those reasons, am not trying to say that i'm worth showing off but, i want to go out coz that is where we feel like going weather it be somewhere quiet or loud..i'm not good at explaining myself i could go on and on trying to find the right words, but i hope you get what i'm trying to say...
> 
> I really liked how luv4biggurls, he sounds natural like his not trying to prove anything..


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## thatgirl08 (Nov 19, 2009)

Interesting thread. I think first of all, you're going to see vast differences when looking at closeted FA's and non closeted FA's. In my experience, to no suprise, closeted FA's are less confident, not just in orientation related stuff but in general life as well. Other than that, I'd say confidence really varies by person just like it does in the general population.


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## Sweet Tooth (Nov 21, 2009)

I've met FAs who had no confidence and couldn't bring themselves to talk to a fat woman if their life depended on it. I've met FAs who had a serious case of white knight syndrome and saw their "job" to rescue poor, sad BBWs... and sometimes felt we all were poor, sad BBWs. I've met some who thought they became FAs because they grew to be attracted to what they thought they could get... which I think makes them unconfident. I've met some who had confidence in spades without much to back it up... the sort who act like they're doing us a favor. And I've met some who just loved BBWs, who appreciated life, and who didn't need to prove themselves, hide their preferences, justify their choice of dates, or act like a relationship needed to be an imbalance of "levels" and of favors.


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## Tania (Nov 21, 2009)

Sweet Tooth said:


> And I've met some who just loved BBWs, who appreciated life, and who didn't need to prove themselves, hide their preferences, justify their choice of dates, or act like a relationship needed to be an imbalance of "levels" and of favors.



Word. And I don't think this is necessarily a "confidence" issue. Frankly, I think "confidence" as a standard is kind of a red herring. Months ago we had a big discussion here at DIMS about what confidence is and isn't, and the only thing I took away from it was a deep conviction that people who use the same words are not always speaking the same language. "Confidence" is a term with plentiful and varying denotations. A certain degree of healthy self-esteem is a must for most of us it seems, but self-esteem is NOT the same thing as self-confidence. And confidence, for that matter, does not necessarily encompass fundamental human essentials such as ethical fortitude, moral constancy, or other-regardingness.


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