# Sexy Sandra's Problem Projections (1-8)- by Samster (~BBW, Intrigue, Imagery, ~SWG )



## Observer (Nov 22, 2008)

_~BBW, Intrigue. Imagery, ~SWG - _Office politics takes mutiple turns in this eight chapter soap opera

*Sexy Sandra's Problem Projections
by Samster*​
*Chapter 1*

The monotonous hum of computers and fingers tapping on a keyboard filled the open plan office of the &#8216;Document Production Unit’. Based in the head office of Cawthorne’s Solicitors &#8211; a eight hundred employee Yorkshire law firm &#8211; the department had the unenviable task of typing up hundreds of legal documents. 

Seated at her desk, Diane Armstrong looked at her team’s output. Fifteen typists made up the team and they were all working flat out. The firm had a huge commercial property deal to type up and had been flat out for days. She bit her lip and fired a quick email to the firm’s commercial property partner advising him that the document would be with him by the close of play.

“Hopefully,” whispered Diane to herself. 

“Mrs Armstrong,” said one of her girls, “I’ve finished part 12. Could you check it over?”

Diane nodded and took hold of the folder. With a sigh, she put on her glasses, opened the massive file and began to proof read. Not one spelling or reference could be wrong and Diane was responsible for ensuring that was so.

For a good ten minutes she focused before a click clack of heels entering the office forced her to look up. Diane’s eyes narrowed as her boss approached..

Sandra Elwood!

Now if Diane was honest she was seethingly jealous of the glamorous Sandra. They were about the same age, in their early forties, but whereas Diane looked every bit her years it was impossible to tell with Sandra. Diane knew her age to be either forty-two or -three as they had gone to school together, but all the girls in the typing pool speculated wildly. The agreed figure was mid thirties, and whatever she said Diane couldn’t convince anybody otherwise. 

Grudgingly, however, Diane had to admit she could see why. Sandra was stunning. She was the most glamorous office hottie imaginable, with everything about her being just perfect. She had long, perfectly straight platinum blonde hair, her skin was creamy perfect, her nails were always manicured and her look was jaw dropping. Standing 5ft4, Sandra was short, but she sported the most amazing hourglass figure ever.

Of itself all that didn’t really bother the somewhat less glamorous Diane, but the fact that the blonde glamour queen knew just how gorgeous she was infuriated her. Always gazing at her reflection or running her fingers through that perfect hair, Sandra Elwood was a hottie who knew just how hot she was.

Since the position of Customer Excellence Director had been created for her all this had intensified, with long lunches at the salon or beauty parlour mixed in with an ever-increasing level of arrogance. While Sandra brown-nosed shamelessly with the firm’s partners and solicitors, she clearly enjoyed her position of power over the other support staff.

“Diane,” snapped the advancing blonde, “I just spoke with James Simmons, and he told me that your report still isn’t ready?”

“What?”

“The projections?”

“We’re working on it.”

Sandra stepped over to the junior manager’s desk and peered down. Her gold necklace dangled down and Diane gasped at her sugary perfume. Sandra ran a long French manicured finger over the report and glared at Diane. 

Quietly she whispered, “That’s not good enough. I emailed the targets out, and nobody’s got back to me…”

Diane gulped. She hadn’t received the targets. Normally she received her team’s monthly targets two weeks before the report and had plenty of time to prepare them. From her experience Sandra Elwood was incompetent and had probably simply forgotten to email out the projections. Now she was trying to cover her ass before a partner found out.

Her eyes settled on the Customer Excellence Director’s perfectly manicured fingers and her long acrylic nails. She was sporting a huge diamond wedding ring that had been given by her latest husband. Another point of jealousy; he was good looking, rich and charming. Unlike her own life partner.

“Well, I’ll email them across again,” snapped Sandra, “and I need them by three o’clock tomorrow.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” sighed Diane.

“Good. I’m going to Ziniz for lunch with Jenny from twelve ’til two,” continued business Barbie, “so you can leave the report on my desk.”

Diane ground her teeth and nodded. “So while I’m sweating over this blasted report you’re sitting with Jenny “the bimbo” Preston from HR chatting about whatever latest cosmetic procedure you’re both having…”

With that Sandra rose, tugged down on her skirt and flashed her picture perfect smile to the typing pool. Automatically the seated women smiled back in return.

“How are you girls?” cooed Sandra.

They all continued to smile and nodded.

“Good.”

“We’re fine.”

“That’s great,” purred Sandra, “and you know if I can help with anything, please just email me your ideas. I’m always happy to hear from you, although it may take a while to get back ’cos I’m such a busy bee.”

The typists just nodded. None had any ideas and they were all a little intimidated by Sandra. Not because she was ever mean to them &#8211; she was in fact very nice &#8211; but because she was so picture perfect and close to the firm’s partners. While the girls saw partners as untouchable, godlike figures, Sandra could always be seen laughing and joking with them.

“Well keep up the good work and keep busy,” said Sandra before twirling on her heels and heading for the door. Quietly she whispered to Diane. 

“Remember that report is to be ready when I get back from lunch or else...”

With her hip swaying, wiggling walk the blonde yummy mummy headed for the door. She was wearing a charcoal grey pencil skirt that cupped a firm, yet decidedly rounded derriere and clamped in tightly at her knees. That in turn splayed her legs out and forced her bump and grind walk. It was a wiggling walk which forced her D-cup breasts to wobble slightly within the confines of a skin tight black top. 

The door closed behind her and one of the girls in the typing pool said dreamily.

“Isn’t Sandra sooooo gorgeous?”

“Yeah, have you seen her wedding ring?”

“It’s massive and she’s so lovely…”

“…they’ve got one of those new houses in Bawtry…”

“…she’s got three kids you know, two boys and a girl, and I saw them in Donny last week. They’re so cute and her daughter’s so pretty …”

“I don’t know how she keeps her figure”

Diane didn’t say anything. She couldn’t bad mouth a director and from past experience knew nobody would listen anyway. But her anger was boiling as she stormed to herself:

“She just prances into the office making demands and I’m supposed to do what she says? Well Sandra Elwood’s just some stuck up snob if you ask me… Oh goodness, we’ll never get this report done, and I’ll have Sandra and a partner breathing down my neck!”

“Stop gossiping girls,” snapped Diane, “and get to work on this report. It needs finishing by one.”

The typists shut their mouths and got to work. They all knew their boss hated Sandra Elwood because she was jealous. From their experience Sandra was always nice, friendly and helpful. She was also always the centre of any office gossip and fun to follow.

Walking back across the office complex, Sandra noted with satisfaction the glances and outright stares she received from the men in the different departments. One solicitor looked ready for a coronary as he watched her deliciously curved derriere wiggle past, and a clerk standing by the photocopier just gawked. The blonde office MILF smiled at the effect &#8211; she loved showing off.

Wiggling her way along the corridors, however, she felt the pinch of her too tight office skirt. Sandra had a truly jaw dropping, curvaceous figure that in her early forties had softened up a little. She was far from fat, but her hips had widened and a tiny little belly had popped out. The silver belt she wore pinched in at her waist and added to the hourglass look. Sandra also hoped it hid her minor tummy.

“Hello Sandra!” shouted James Simmons as the bit of blonde office totty wiggled past his office. “Have you got a moment?”

Stopping in her tracks, the preening executive fixed her best ever smile and wiggled her way in.

“For you James, I’ve got more than a minute.”

“Splendid.”

In his forties, James was a top earning partner at the firm and had a soft spot for Sandra. He was a fan of the over-the-over-the-top Barbie doll look and just couldn’t get enough of her. Part of him dreamed of an office affair, but then he remembered his own wife and the cost of divorce. Given the fact that sexy Sandra was married with three kids, he had to accept it was very much a fantasy. But he enjoyed the flirting.

The partner rose from his desk and stepped across the spacious office. He stood close &#8211; closer than he probably should &#8211; but Sandra always seemed to enjoy their harmless flirtations.

“Wow, it feels like a long time since I last saw you, sexy Sandra. What’s it been: a week now?”

She smiled at the nickname. It flattered her ego, and James Simmons was a good looking guy. Part of her just wanted to sneak away with him for a weekend and forget about any of the consequences. Indeed, it was a relief for Sandra that he seemed to have some self control &#8211; she’d have indulged her considerable sexual appetite long ago.

“Hah…I was on holiday last week.”

“Oh I see. Where was it you went again?”

“Can’t you remember?”

He chuckled at that.

“Off the top of my head you were working on your tan in Greece.”

“That’s right…I was in my little bikini on the beach every day.” Sandra winked: “You know in Greece you can sunbath topless.”

James gulped.

“Now that’s quite vision.”

“My husband liked it.”

“I bet he did.” 

The two stood in silence for a moment. It was awkward. James desperately wanted to grab hold of the blonde beauty and devour her. What’s more, he had a good feeling she wouldn’t stop him. But then he thought about all that would happen afterwards. He sighed and returned to business.

“Could you email across the targets for your departments? Roderick Cawthorne’s coming down from Leeds, and we need them.”

Sandra bit her lip. This was the targets she’d forgotten to send to her staff before going on holiday. The three managers that worked for her were, at the moment, scrambling to prepare a forecast that normally took two weeks in a day. The executive Barbie was desperate to avoid revealing her own inadequacies so she said:

“We’ve had a few problems, but I’m chasing my team for the report.”

“As long as we have it for tomorrow.”

“It’ll be done for tomorrow.”

“Excellent.”

At that comment Sandra turned on her heels and headed for the door. She didn’t want to keep talking about the report. Somewhere inside her very blonde brain she knew storm clouds were approaching. The key was to make sure it rained on her staff and not herself.

Later that day, Diane Armstrong sat with her two managerial colleagues in the staff canteen. All three worked under Sandra Elwood and all three women had just been dropped into hot water with the late arriving email. They had been given an impossible task and on past form all were expecting the blame to fall squarely on their shoulders.

“…How did she ever get that job?” groaned one.

“Easy,” explained Diane. “She’s a blonde dolly bird, and that’s what all the partners here want. She just shakes that big butt and those stupid boobs around and gets away with murder.”

“True.”

“Although, have you noticed there’s a bit more to her bum lately?”

Diane bit her lip and thought.

“Are you saying the beautiful Sandra might have put on some weight?”

“Yeah, haven’t you noticed? That skirt she’s wearing today is really too tight even for her.”

“Mmm…Sandra always dresses to impress”

“Yeah but not THAT tight.”

As if on cue the dolly bird in question entered the canteen. She was chatting with a solicitor from the matrimonial department and ignored her three managers. But they didn’t ignore her. The conversation quietened as they watched her perform her wiggly walk across the canteen. 

No doubt her skirt was tight - maybe even too tight. The grey charcoal material was cupping a spectacularly curved bubble butt and testing the fabric to its limits with each step. For a moment the skirt looked ready to pop, followed by a brief moment of release, followed by more pressure. The effect was devastatingly sexy, but for the three at the table it also showed the effects of an increasingly plump posterior.

“She has put on a little…” whispered Diane.

Across the canteen Sandra and Jenny were laughing and giggling, with Sandra twirling on her heels and placing a hand on her counterpart’s arm. In doing so she was also showing off her profile to the critical eyes. Her hips had definitely widened and the material was struggling to cover them and while her belt pinched in her waist, the slight “muffin tops” suggested a softened middle lurked beneath. Her upper half was dominated by her over pumped boobs, but the girls couldn’t help noticing a general softening. Her cheeks looked just a little chubby and was there the hint of a double chin…?

“She has definitely filled out a bit.” 

They watched as Sandra stacked her tray at the canteen. It was a generous lunch. A baked potato filled with coleslaw, a side plate of salad, a chocolate brownie, a glass of orange juice, and cup of hot chocolate. Walking carefully across the canteen, the blonde glamour puss carefully placed the tray on the table and sat down. 

As she sat, her pencil skirt almost looked ready to pop, with softened thighs and hips pushing the material. Her belt looked tortured as her tummy pushed out and as she crossed her legs the top rode up revealing the small of her tanned back. No doubt Sandra Elwood’s outfit had been bought before she’d begun to fill out. 

“Look at all the food she’s got too?”

“No wonder she’s putting on weight…”

“Jenny’s gained some too”

“Yeah she’s got a big bum now.”

“I’d love to see those two get fat.”

Diane groaned.

“Not that it does us any good…we’ve still got that stupid report to finish.”

“I suppose.” 

Glancing up from her meal, Sandra noticed her three managers gossiping. She frowned; with the report she’d dropped on them, they should be working away, not sitting around chatting. Nervously she ran a finger through her straight, platinum blonde hair extensions and thought about the disaster if the report wasn’t finished. 

“Excuse me Jenn,” she said to her lunch partner. “I’ve just got to have a quick word with my staff.”

“Can’t have them sitting round gossiping eh?” chirped Jenny as she dug into her own generous lunch.

Carefully Sandra rose from her chair, running her soft hands down her tightly packed skirt and tugging down. Then, stepping across the canteen, she fixed her management team with a perfect, yet fake smile. The smile never cracking, she stood by their table and said quietly.

“Is that report finished?”

“Um…no…”

“Well then why are you sitting around gossiping? You ignored my email two weeks back, and I expect it finished by tomorrow…” She paused for effect. “…otherwise heads will roll.”

The three women sat at the table gulped. Sandra didn’t say anything more; she just spun back around and headed over for her table. Hopefully they understood after that. “They better understand, or one of them is getting sacked…”

“What a bitch!”

“Yep.” 

With a contented smile Sandra settled back down to her lunch and noted her three managers trooping out of the canteen. Jenny raised a perfectly pencilled eyebrow and commented.

“You seem to have them under the thumb.”

“Mmmm…”

“Diane Armstrong’s looking old and ugly,” smirked Jenny.

“Yeah, I had to sit her away from my office,” Sandra shrugged. “I think ugly staff members reflect badly on me.”

“That’s so true.”

“You know me and Diane went to school together?”

“Oh?” gasped the second Business Barbie. “I never would have guessed! She looks like ten years older than you with all those yucky wrinkles.”

“Yeah, and did you see Amy Parsons in accounts?”

“She’s getting soooo fat…”

So the two Business Barbies sat gossiping about the failing figures of their female colleagues. Both knew they were the office’s leading glamour queens, and loved their positions. All the partners flirted with them, gave them cushy senior management jobs and were wrapped around their little fingers. It was a good situation for the two office hotties, and they loved taking full advantage.

(Continued in post five of this thread)


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## Kenster102.5 (Nov 22, 2008)

Wow, this is really good stuff, please continue.


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## Lardibutts (Nov 23, 2008)

Good to see Samster writing back in his South Yorkshire heartland. 
I always think of you and the characters youve shaped with pleasure as I drive past along that dismal stretch of the A1.

*A request: *We are long overdue an update at the recruitment agency as well. Maybe perhaps incorporating another snapshot of that overused regional airport with one flight a day to Belgium.


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## samster (Nov 24, 2008)

Lardibutts, how can you call the South Yorkshire stretch dismal? All that beauty that greets you as you drive through the rolling hills and spectacular countryside. Mixed in of course we have the power stations, call centres, disused coal mines and distribution hubs but this only adds to the beauty. It always surprises me we don't see more tourists here in the heartland of England


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## Observer (Nov 24, 2008)

*Chapter 2*

At 5.35pm Sandra was lowering her admittedly plump posterior down into the black leather seats of her Mercedes CLK coupe. The sleek, sexy coupe had been a birthday present, and the extremely vain Sandra loved posing around in it. With the private number plate 42 SJE and her good looks, she got glances as she drove past. More worrying for Sandra, however, was the fact that the 42 signified the birthday shed been bought the car. Not something she wanted to advertise.

Ouch! she yelped slightly as she settled down.

The belt really was digging into her soft middle. Glancing round the office car park first to check nobody was watching, she unclipped the buckle and took a deep breath. With a worried look she eyed the belly roll that popped out  but at least she could breathe again.

I guess I need to lose some weight, sighed Sandra as she turned the ignition key and slipped the gear lever into drive. 

Pulling out into the slow-moving rush hour traffic along Lakeside Boulevard, the blonde office babe glanced down at her plump middle. The belt had done a good job of hiding the belly that had spread out over the years. It was far from fat, and on a forty-something-year-old woman it was hardly worth comment. But on Sandra Elwood it was an issue. She had to look her absolute best, and a tummy didnt add to her blonde heartbreaker appeal.

Maybe I should get a tummy tuck? she asked herself.

Then she remembered the family finances. She and her husband took home good salaries, but they had a monster mortgage, car payments and , her daughter taking driving lessons and wanting a car, so a tummy tuck would have to wait. Besides, Sandra had already spent a small fortune on her boob job, porcelain veneers, botox, hair extensions and a vast monthly array of beauty products and treatments.

I guess maybe I should diet?

The yummy mummy puzzled over that as she drove past the Lakeside Village designer outletsMaybe a little retail therapy after her stressful day at the office?

With that thought, she didnt need much persuading. Retail therapy was the best kind of therapy in the world for sexy Sandra.

Inside the Ann Summers outlet, Sandra perused the shelves full of sexy thongs and bras. Inside her blonde head she could picture James Simmons peeling her out of her sexy little lace panties and doing what she knew her boss wanted. A rush ran through her pampered body, and Sandra grabbed the pink lace thong and headed for the counter. 

Maybe James wont be able to resist

So while Sandra browsed the retail outlets and dreamed of her office affair, her minions were hard at work preparing the impossible. Diane had already called her husband and announced she would be late home. Sitting at her desk, poring through predictions, her head filled with the vision of Sandra Elwood. She hated just about everything about her glamorous boss. 

When theyd first met Sandra had been married to a local football player, but had promptly divorced him as soon as his career dived and the money ran out. Then shed moved onto her second husband who was rich and began to climb the corporate ladder. Something shed been very effective at. While the hard-working Diane made a meagre £25,000 gross, she was sure Sandras figure was more like £50,000 for doing half the work. 

Combined with her husbands hefty salary, that got Sandra a nice house in Bawtry, money to burn on her vanity and a flash new car. 

Just because shes pretty

Diane slammed her pen into the desk. No doubt her boss would be swanning around in her Mercedes, posing and preening herself while Diane was making up for her stupidity. 

For a brief moment Diane imagined screwing up the report just to make Business Barbie look a fool in her meeting. Oh what Id pay to see the look on your face when you saw the figures were all wrong 

But then Diane thought about the office politics. The partners would side with sexy Sandra  they always did  and Diane would be in hot water.

Its just not fair

Diane mulled on that point for a while, then got back to work. By midnight the first draft of the report still wasnt finished, but Diane needed to sleep. She walked slowly out of the office, past the security desk and into the car park. Walking slowly towards her three-year-old Fiat Punto, she once again thought about Sandra  Youll pay for this one way or another.

At the precise moment Diane was turning the ignition key in her Fiat, Sandra was lounging in her well padded bed and trying to sleep  without much success. She could picture a meeting with all the firms senior partners where she didnt have her report. Part of her wished shed mentioned the whole thing to James Simmons and got the meeting postponed, but Sandra couldnt stand the idea of her mistake being exposed. Instead, shed dug in and built up her problems. Ive just got to be perfect

You cant sleep? groaned a male voice next to her.

Nope.

Whats up?

Nothing, she snapped.

Well if nothings up, mumbled her husband Kevin as he wrapped his arm round her, why dont you snuggle up and go to sleep?

Sandra did as advised and buried her blonde head in her husbands chest. For all his many faults, she loved her second husband. Everyone thought shed married him just for his money, but that was only partly true. Sure, Sandra had given some thought to his financial position, but he also made her feel safe and secure. Whats more, hed bought her a Mercedes for her birthday last year. What more could a girl want?

Hed opposed her promotion to Director, saying they didnt really need the money and pointed out she might struggle with the responsibilities. Sandra had told him to stop holding her back and taken the money.

Kev, she whispered I think Im crap at my job.

Im sure your not.

Um

He reached across and kissed her cheek. It tasted of a vast array of beauty creams she wore for bed, but she smelled soft and soapy. 

Whatever youre worrying about, just forget it, go to sleep and deal with it in the morning.

Okaybut

Please, Sandra babes, go to sleep!

With that she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. Part of Sandra Elwood felt guilty about the way shed treated her managers, but the dominant part just wanted to save her own skin.

* * * * *

The following morning her husband Kev got up early as usual and Sandra set about her make-up. Making herself look as beautiful as possible was quite a task, but the ageing glamour girl was well used to it. Her smooth, botoxed face was rapidly made up with blushers, make-up, mascara and generous applications of pink glossy lip gloss. In Sandras opinion, you could never have enough lip gloss.

Breakfasts ready! shouted her husband from downstairs.

The shout was followed by her teenage daughter, Jennas, footsteps. For her part, Sandra managed to tear her eyes away from the bathroom mirror and padded across into the bedroom. She was far from ready.

Her big, beautiful eyes settled on her reflection in the full length bedroom mirror. In her push up bra and panties she looked plump. Not fat but a soft little belly pooched out and her bubble butt wobbled behind. Oh I need to look my best today if Im gonna survive this meeting

With a sniff she grabbed the Trinny and Susannah wonder knickers and hoped they lived up to the claim. Slipping out of her panties the yummy mummy got her first taste of lycra control wear.

The skin coloured lyca slid up over her widened hips and with a grunt up over her tummy. It was snug but not overly uncomfortable. She could feel the lycra squeezing and flattening her paunch and with a gasp Sandra checked out her sleek profile. She looked amazing. Her bum still jutted out in a sexy bubble but her tummy was no more.

Oh good my bellys gone

Sandra patted her now flat middle and marvelled at the effect. Soooo much better than diet and exercise

With a self satisfied smile across her pretty face, she opened the cupboard door and inspected her array of work suits. She had twenty different outfits and just couldnt be seen wearing the same outfit twice in one week. That would just ruin her image. Working through the rails, she puzzled on what to wear. Part of her said go conservative with a knee length skirt or trousers suit for the partners meeting, but the other part said go sexy. 

With the mess Ive made, I need em looking at my boobs and bum today, not my work

That thought led her to a sexy little suit shed bought a few months back at Selfridges in Manchester. It was a black Dior skirt suit with flashy gold pin-stripes. The outfit sported a form-fitting jacket that gripped around her boobs and a short, sexy little skirt that walked that fine line between corporate sexy and corporate tarty. For Business Barbie that fitted her look fine.

Im gonna get away with whatever I want today, she laughed to herself.

Combined with a pair of tall Jimmy Choo heels, the look was devastating. Being rather short, Sandra lived in her heels and balancing atop the pointed bullets was now natural to her. 

The suit was snug fitting without being too tight and Sandra couldnt resist blowing herself a kiss before twirling on her heels and heading down for breakfast.

Wow you look stunning! gasped Kev as his wife entered the kitchen.

I know, she purred.

Have you lost weight mum? her teenage daughter asked,

A little, lied Sandra, running her hands down her middle.

I dont remember you dieting.

Im always dieting.

Kev looked over from the toast and jam he was eating at his hot wife. She was pouring a cup of hot chocolate and in her corporate outfit looked quite the snazzy little office babe. Checking out the way her plumped up butt cheeks were testing the pin striped fabric in contrast to her flat tummy, he had to wonder how shed achieved the look. 

Looks to me like youve lost some of that tummy he chuckled, while passing across a stack of toast.

Sandra turned her nose up and carried her mug of hot chocolate back to the breakfast bar.

Its my fantastic genes; I lose weight so easily, she explained before boosting herself up onto the breakfast seat. She crossed her bronzed legs, tugged down at the hem of her short skirt and tucked into her breakfast.

Absently she ran a long acrylic nail round the waistband of her skirt  Trinny & Susannah had certainly managed to obliterate her tum.

so you both thought I was getting fat? queried Sandra with a concerned look across her pretty face.

Kev decided to answer that as diplomatically as possible. He placed a hand on his considerable paunch and said:

I think weve both got some middle age spread.

Sandra looked at her husbands fat belly and then at her own firm middle. She smiled smugly and said.

You maybe, she purred but Im still trim and sexy. You really could do with losing some weight Kev.

Hey, I remember what you looked like last night, he countered.

Oh mum! laughed her daughter, You got some of those wonder knickers!

I did not!

Sandra shot her daughter a warning glance as she slid off her chair and reached down to the dishwasher. Her bubble butt pooched out deliciously and Kev couldnt stop looking. Without doubt Sandra had gained weight over the years, and her bum had been most affected. He reached across and administered a loving, playful slap to that soft behind.

Ouch!

Now thats one sexy bum, he winked at their daughter, and trust me, theres no wonder knickers on that!

Their daughter laughed and Sandra smiled.

Naughty boy! she scolded, And at this time in the morning whats Jenna supposed to think?

She planted a kiss on his cheek and wiggled across the kitchen to find her coat. It was an £800 leather Ellie Tahari coat shed bought for Christmas, and it now fitted her like a second skin. Slipping it on, sexy Sandra struggled it around her D-cup boobs and gave up with the top two buttons.

Striking a models pose, she flashed her husband a pearly white smile and asked, How do I look?

Awesome!

Sandra frowned.

Is that all?

Kev rose from his chair and walked over to his posing wife. Some might call Sandra vain and just a little conceited, but over the years Kev had come to accept just how important his wifes appearance was to her. Just one throw-away comment could knock her confidence and have Sandra fretting about her fat bum or bad hair for an entire day, while looking absolutely stunning to all who saw her. Wrapping his arms round her waist he said:

You look an absolute ten babehotter than ever.

Satisfied, she kissed him.

I knowCome on Jenna, Ill drop you off at college.

He patted that perfect, peachy behind as she wiggled past and out of the door. A rush ran through his body as he felt the soft jiggle and wobble and once again he wondered where her tummy had gone. I cant wait to find out tonight


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## Observer (Dec 7, 2008)

*Chapter 3.*

Standing together in Cawthorne Solicitors &#8216;Document Production Unit’, the three junior managers looked out at the car park. The view itself of the Lakeside Business Park was unspectacular, with the BT call centre, the M18 and a KFC dominating the landscape. But that wasn’t what they were looking at. They were focusing on the silver Mercedes coupe that has just rolled into the car park.

“Jeeze, all this and she rolls up at nine.” 

“It probably takes her all that time to fix up her make-up.”

“Well,” snickered Diane, “I’d say our tarty little leader has a shock coming her way.”

“Have you seen how short her skirt is?”

“She’ll need more than that today…”

The three managers nodded. They had a plan that they hoped would expose the glamorous Customer Excellence Director for the lazy incompetent she was. It had been completely impossible to finish the report, but it was agreed that all would let Sandra believe it would be ready right until just before Roderick Cawthorne arrived. That way the firm’s owner would know just what had happened.

Sandra breezed into reception at dead on 9am, her blonde mane the picture of perfection and her figure more ravishing than ever. Her tummy had indeed been flattened, and sexy Sandra’s hourglass figure looked the absolute picture of perfection inside her form fitting Dior suit. 

The two men sat in reception gawked, and Sandra couldn’t resist a sexy wink as she stepped into the lift. 

“Oh I look so totally hot…” 

Wiggling her way into the typing pool office, Sandra focused on her prey. Brushing her hair over her shoulder, the dolly bird director fixed her eyes on Diane Armstrong and smirked. Diane looked fraught and tired in contrast to her own glowing look, but the report looked to be bound and ready on her desk.

“I take it you’ve got me my report?” purred Sandra.

“Yeah it’s there.”

“Good,” chirped Sandra, taking hold of the report. “What does it say?”

“Aren’t you going to read it?”

“Of course I am,” lied Business Barbie. “I just expect an overview.”

Diane rolled her eyes. No way would Sandra Elwood bother to read all that. She probably wouldn’t understand half of it anyway.

“I think we can shave another 5% off on targets,” sighed Diane.

“I should certainly expect so,” pouted Sandra. “Maybe if you and the other managers didn’t spend so long sitting in the canteen gossiping…ummmm…?”

Diane didn’t respond to that. 

“Now turn that frown upside down, and wipe that hard-done too look off your face, and start smiling again. You screwed up on this report, and don’t let team performance slip just because of that. Otherwise I’ll have to put you through a disciplinary.”

“But…”

“Don’t argue Diane!”

“Yes Sandra.”

“I expect my managers to be happy and smiley.” She tugged on her skirt. “Because your attitude reflects on me.”

Diane forced a smile as her blood boiled. Oh how she wanted to put Sandra Elwood back in her place. That silly blonde bimbo should never have progressed beyond legal secretary, and now she was a director. 

“Well just watch out for what’s coming…” she told herself.

As Diane brooded, Sandra headed back out of the office, the door closing behind her. One of the typists said.

“Oh doesn’t Sandra’s hair look awesome…”

“Yeah I’m so jealous…”

“She’s amazing, and I think she’s lost a bit of weight…”

That caused Diane to snap.

“Shut up about that silly blonde tart and get back to work!!”

The girls blinked and gasped. They knew their boss hated Sandra Elwood, but they’d never heard anything that blatant. Jealousy is such a nasty thing, and Sandra was always so nice to them

Returning to her office, Sandra sank her soft derriere down into her leather chair of fired up her computer. Her assistant, Janet, had appeared with her morning cup of tea and a tray of biscuits. Sexy Sandra leaned back in her chair and took a sip of the piping hot sweet tea. The report was safely on her desk and Business Barbie felt happy. “Thank goodness it’s done…”

“Ooo Janet,” asked Sandra “what time’s Roderick Cawthorne due here?”

“About ten I think.”

Sandra glanced at her Gucci wristwatch. She was now looking forward to her meeting.

“Great…um…Janet…?”

“Yes?”

“Could you take a look at the report just to check its okay?”

Janet nodded and took the folder. Her role as Sandra Elwood’s assistant paid well. but also brought with it a whole range of responsibilities. Early on Janet had accepted her boss was really nothing more than a glamorous office bimbo who’d been promoted way above her level. So while Sandra was the public face of the department Janet ran the show. Which suited her; she took home a hefty salary, Sandra looked after her, and she had none of the responsibility.

So while Janet pored over the report, Sandra browsed the internet. She was thinking about another holiday, and was checking out deals for Marbella when Janet shouted:

“Sandra, this is last month’s report!”

“Whaa…?”

“Its last month’s report. All the dates are even wrong.”

Business Barbie’s jaw dropped, and her eyes bulged as she comprehended what had been said. She didn’t have her report. “Yikest!!! And Roderick Cawthorne’s here in less than an hour…”

“We’re screwed!” 

Janet remained quiet. It was moments like this when she was happy not to take home a director’s salary. Even with all her make-up and fake tan Janet could see her boss’ face going crimson red.

“Are you okay Sandra?”

“That bitch Diane!!!” 

With that, Business Barbie hauled herself up from her chair, tugged on the hem of her skirt, and power wiggled across the department. Her usual sexy smile was replaced by a jaw-clenching grimace, and her beautiful eyes were pure venom. She hurled the office door open to the Document Production Unit and glared, pointing a long finger nail at Diane Armstrong.

“You!!! Out here now!!!” she snapped.

As one, the typists looked up from their work. They’d never seen Sandra Elwood mad before, but she looked furious at that point. Each typist was relieved the anger was directed at their boss.

Diane was much calmer. Obviously Sandra, or rather Janet, had actually read the report. “She looks ready to explode…”

The two women stepped out into the corridor. As soon as the office door shut Sandra hissed.

“You gave me last month’s report!”

“I know,” replied Diane calmly.

Business Barbie’s blonde brain whirled at the response. At first she’d hoped it was a mistake, but now it was slowly fitting together in her mind. “I’ve been set up…”

Stepping in closer, Sandra pointed a finger at Diane again.

“I told you I wanted that report done and ready! I’m gonna report you to HR and…”

Diane took hold of the pointed finger and pushed back. She laughed.

“I think the only one with a meeting with HR is going to be you, Sandra. We all know you forgot to email the targets, and as soon as somebody checks your “sent” Items it’s going to be obvious.”

Sandra bit her glossy lip. That was true. She already had two complaints against her, and if her best friend wasn’t also office HR manager she’d have gone through disciplinary. This was going to be very bad. She tried to think of something to do…

Tugging her finger free from her tormentor, the blonde yummy mummy twirled on her heels and ran as best she could down the corridor. In a formidable pair of Jimmy Choos and a too tight skirt it wasn’t the fastest spring and far more of a wiggle and a waddle. But it was the best Sandra could do.

Just before her office door she stopped and shouted at Diane.

“You’ll wish you hadn’t done this to me you frumpy, ugly bitch!!!” 

“Very nice Sandra,” shouted Diane in return. “Now let’s see if you can write a report in half an hour.”

Sandra didn’t respond to that. She stepped into her office and slammed the door hard. Janet looked in horror as the Customer Excellence Director took hold of the report and hurled it across the office before gasping for breath in the middle. 

“Oh my word …Are you okay Sandra?”

“Nooo…” she whispered. “I think I’m gonna get sacked.”

Janet took charge.

“Listen, call James and explain. Maybe he can do something?”

Sandra tugged on her blonde extensions and nodded. As usual she was going to go with Janet’s plan. She took hold of her desk phone and keyed in the partners extension and waited.

“Hello. James speaking.” said the professional voice.

“James. It’s Sandra.” 

“Hi Sandra,” he said. “Oh by the way, I still don’t have the administrative report. Any chance you could drop it off before Roderick gets here?”

Business Barbie sighed and plopped her butt down on her chair. She could picture the upcoming humiliation in her head. “Everyone’s going to know just how useless I am…”

“Um…errr…that’s…um…what I was calling about…”

“Oh”

“I…wwwwweelllll…you seeeeeeee….don’t have the…um…report.”

“What?!”

There was a silence and Sandra repeated:

“I don’t have the report James.”

That comment led to another long silence. A terrified Sandra bit her lip and waited for the response.

“Well why didn’t you bloody well tell me earlier?” snapped James. “Roderick Cawthorne’s almost here, and we don’t even have the bloody operations report. If I’d have learnt earlier…”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’ve got a feeling we’re both going to be sorry,” he sighed.

Sandra fought back the tears and said:

“James, what’s going to happen to me?”

“I don’t know,” he muttered. “I’ll try and contain it. I just wish you’d told me sooner.”

Then he slammed the phone down.

Sandra buried her head in her hands. Roderick Cawthorne had a fearsome reputation, and she’d only met him a few times at office parties. He’d sacked partners and directors for all kinds of mistakes, and Business Barbie had an idea she was next on the list. The thought of losing her job was crushing. Sandra loved posing around as a director; she liked her office, her PA, her reserved parking space, and the status she got around town. “I’m going to end up Kev’s stay-at-home bimbo wife…”

Ten minutes later, Roderick Cawthorne stepped into the reception of his Doncaster office. Aged sixty, Roderick was one of the Yorkshire region’s leading lawyers, and ran a sprawling firm with thirty equity partners and offices in Leeds, Sheffield and Doncaster. He was a tall, bulky man with a bald head and a huge jaw. Standing in a precisely pressed pin striped suit, he looked every bit the senior partner of a commercial law firm.

He shook hands with James Simmons, managing partner for the Doncaster office, and walked across the James’ office. The two chatted about the overall performance of the office &#8211; Roderick had no time for small talk and really didn’t care about James’ wife, family or whatever. He was only interested in the smooth running of the office.

“The office certainly looks smart.” he said as he walked in. “Believe it or not I went to the Sheffield office last week, and some of the male solicitors weren’t even wearing a tie.”

“Shocking.”

“Bally slack is what it is.”

“Indeed,” sighed Steve. He didn’t want a conversation about slack. Not only did he fancy Sandra Elwood, but he also knew her socially. He played golf with her husband; his daughter went to the same college, and every year the Elwood’s attended his Christmas party. But no doubt she had been slack, and on past form Roderick could be brutal.

“So, onwards with business,” continued Roderick. “As you know, a priority for this office is improving the administrative efficiency. You know you spend more per admin head than any other office?”

“I didn’t know that.”

“About 3% more,” he barked, “which isn’t good enough. So I’m particularly interested in your support services report…”

Just bloody typical, thought James to himself, we usually get through that in five minutes and now it’s the first thing he’s asked for…poor Sandra!

“Ah, well we may have a problem there.”

“A problem?”

“I don’t actually have the report.”

“You don’t have the report?” gasped Roderick incredulously. “Well why the bally hell not?”

James puzzled on an explanation. Truth was, he didn’t have a good one.

“It hasn’t been finished yet.”

“Who’s responsible for the blasted thing?”

“Our Customer Excellence Director, Sandra Elwood.”

“Well than get this Sandra Elwood in here immediately and I want an explanation. It’s just this kind of slack-handed approach that got your costs up 3%.”

James tried to think of something to say but couldn’t. He picked up the phone and dialled his blonde office fantasy’s number. This could be painful. “Oh Sandra, why couldn’t you have done your job properly just once?”

Business Barbie, however, wasn’t to be underestimated. She’d placed a frantic phone call her best mate and office HR Manager, Jenny Preston, for advice. The two were close, and Jenny had quickly told some Roderick Cawthorne horror stories, but then blurted out a whole stream of confidential information. It seemed the Doncaster office was about to undergo some restructuring, and slowly but surely an idea was forming in Sandra’s head.

While Sandra Elwood may have been clueless at how to manage and run a sixty-employee department, she was an ace at office politics. Mixed in with her glamorous looks, that was, after all, why she was a director. 

So when the call came through, Sandra rose with a little more confidence from her chair and headed for the door.

“Good luck Sandra,” whispered Janet.

“Thanks.”

“If you pull this off do I get to be a manager?”

Sandra placed a hand on her assistant’s shoulder and smiled.

“Of course you do &#8211; I need a management team I can trust.”

Walking down the corridor, Sandra noted the looks she was getting from her junior managers. The typists were oblivious to what was happening, but her three managers had a smug look across their faces. No doubt they predicted her head to roll. 

“You stupid cows will pay…” thought Sandra to herself “I didn’t get from office junior to director by being a push over…”

Eventually she walked across the office complex and reached James Simmons’ office. While her own was tucked away with a view of the M18, James had a huge office with a view over the lake. Maybe not spectacular like Canary Wharf or the Manhattan skyline, but for Doncaster it was a big deal.

After taking a deep breath, Business Barbie knocked on the door and stepped in.

“Hi Mr Simmons, and hi Mr Cawthorne,” she said confidently, noting where both men’s eyes were.

It was only natural. Both men soaked up her bombshell looks and their roaming eyes flicked between her long blonde hair, boobs and her perfectly curved derriere. The conclusions, however, were contrasting.

James desperately wanted to unpeel Sandra from her snug fitting suit and get his hands on the forbidden fruits. He spent hours every day fantasising about what he would do with Sandra Elwood. Indeed, the thought passed many a boring hour.

Roderick, however, wasn’t surprised. Every time there was a screw up in his firm, he found some dolly bird manager or director asleep at the wheel. Across departments, partners promoted pretty secretaries and assistants way beyond their limited ability, and he had a whole middle management team populated by air headed bimbos. “This one could be made an example of…”

“Take a seat Sandra,” said James formally. “As I’m sure you’re aware, this meeting is about your report.”

Sandra nodded and smiled. Pooching her rear out, Business Barbie settled down in her chair, crossed her legs, ran a finger through her hair and turned to Roderick Cawthorne. 

“Thank you so much for seeing me,” she purred, “and I hope I haven’t inconvenienced you?”

“Of course you dashed well inconvenienced me!” barked Roderick to the squirming director, “I drove all the way from Leeds and you haven’t even finished it.”

Sandra never missed a beat. She focused the angry senior partner with her big, beautiful brown eyes and played her cards.

“I apologise for that, but I wanted to talk this over in person with you.”

Roderick was about to shout back when Sandra continued.

“…now I work really hard for my department, and I love my girls. but I think we may be a little inefficient…”

“Oh…”

James frowned. He hadn’t seen this coming. The biggest inefficiency he could make out in the department was Sandra herself. but he kept his mouth shut. Over the years he’d watched Sandra worm and manipulate her way up the corporate ladder. and could see another star performance coming on.

“I’ve only been in my current role for a year. but I feel we’re a little top heavy on middle management. and I wanted to suggest a re-profiling…” She bit her lip and pretended what she said was hard for her. “Now my managers do their best, but I feel we could cut costs without hurting productivity.”

“Sounds good,” rasped Roderick breathlessly. This blonde dolly bird was surprising him. “Please continue.”

“I think it would add value if HR could help me analyse my department and we could prepare you another report in two weeks…”

“What kind of analysis?” Roderick asked.

“One with a focus on cost cutting,” purred Sandra. “Now I know I take a generous salary…”

Roderick reached across and took hold of his beautiful blonde minion’s hand. No doubt he had a loyal follower here, and he rewarded loyalty above all else.

“I pay my directors well,” he explained, “so that they can make the tough but necessary decisions you are considering. Please conduct your analysis and do so with assurance your own position is secure.”

“Thank you!” responded Sandra, trying to hide the relieved smile from her face. 

“John Southern, our HR Partner, can come down from Leeds to help with the analysis,” reasoned Roderick.

Business Barbie was anxious to avoid that. Jenny Preston would cover her own inadequacies and happily point the gun where Sandra wanted it. 

“I’d rather not inconvenience him…” rushed Sandra.

James too was anxious to avoid another senior partner nosing round his office, so he suggested:

“If I could interject here…”

“Absolutely, interject away old man!” barked Roderick.

“Firstly, I have every confidence in Sandra here’s analysis, and Jenny Preston, our office HR manager, does a splendid job, and I’m sure John Southern is very busy. It may be more cost effective to keep this one in-house, and I’m anxious to create minimum disruption.”

“John Southern is busy,” agreed Roderick. “I tell you what: do your analysis and we’ll all meet next week to discuss… Well, without further ado please return to your post Sandra…a pleasure to meet you.”

Sandra reached across and formally shook the owner’s hand before heading out of the office. As the door shut behind her, Roderick remarked:

“Sporty little filly that one, eh?”

“Oh yes, Sandra’s a real diamond.”

“Wouldn’t like to cross her though…”

James laughed. “No Roderick, believe me you wouldn’t!”

There was truth in that statement. Business Barbie called into the office of Jenny Preston on the way back to her department, and a plan was formed. A full and complete analysis of the department would be conducted, but the conclusion was clear from the start. The two blonde babe friends looked out for each other, and a big red cross was resting over the employee file of Diane Armstrong. 

Never, ever underestimate a Business Barbie.

* * * * *

7pm at the Doncaster North Travel Lodge, and Business Barbie was lying on her back with her legs wrapped around her boss.

Her soft white thighs encircled his hips, squeezing their creamy smooth inner surfaces against him, urging him to ever deeper pulsating probing within her moistly succulent womanhood.

Her wonderfully ample arse was dimpling and undulating its shuddering nakedness against the mattress as she pumped her neatly fleecy crotch upwards against him with greedy urgency.

Her saline-boosted breasts lolled and rolled lusciously athwart her arching ribcage and she seemed coated in a glowing veneer of sweaty arousal.
The usually perfectly arranged blonde mane was wildly tossed, and strands of it trailed damply across her gasping and pouting countenance, those big brown eyes glazed and heavy-lidded in a sensual eyelash-shivering trance.
Concerns about whether she looked fat or not had long since disappeared, along with her inhibitions and her tummy-taming miracle knickers.

Each of their rhythmic pelvic thrusts and retreats found its rhyming carnal corollary in the other’s perfectly matched gasping, moaning, writhing.
Both would have been completely naked - except that, even in their nookie nook’s bed Sandra still wore her wickedly spike heeled Jimmy Choos:

“Oh Gawd…I’m…ummmm…such a bitch…!” She crooned as she rode her thighs even higher along his flanks and renewed her purchase on him, pulling him even deeper within her, refusing even the slightest hint of withdrawal. He felt the cold spindles of her stilettos brush the backs of his thighs:

“Oh Jeeessse! Oh Yessss!!!”

The two kept going. Business Barbie could feel her partner pulsating inside her as he eventually allowed himself release. He gripped her plumply upholstered hips almost painfully hard and moaned. The primitive sound of his hoarse, ecstatic cry gave her the nudge she needed to crest the wave.

Her big brown eyes closed and experienced the firework display of orgasm popping and sparkling.

The two collapsed together on the motel bed like a boneless heap, gasping, panting and trying to remember all the times they’d flirted round the office that had led to that moment.

“That was so wrong…” gasped James Simmons.

“…but so totally right.”

Eventually it would also have consequences.

(continued in post 8 of this thread)


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## mddubya (Dec 8, 2008)

Great story, it reads like a novel. Your writing abilities amaze me. Bravo, bravo.


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## Observer (Dec 15, 2008)

*Chapter 4.*

Several weeks passed by, and Diane Armstrong was disappointed to note there appeared to be no fall-out from the late report. Sandra Elwood continued to be her snotty, lazy self and the only noticeable difference was Jenny Preston spending more time around the department. She spent most of her time chatting with Sandra or gossiping with the girls in the typing pool, so Diane thought nothing of it. Both Sandra and Jenny were two peas in a pod so it made sense they stuck together.

So she wasnt really all that concerned when she received an email from Sandra informing her about a review meeting. 

That changed as soon as she walked into Meeting Room Seven.

Across the table was a show of blonde perfection; Sandra Elwood and Jenny Preston were about to commence an execution Business Barbie style.

Thank you for attending Diane, chirped Jenny. Could you please take a seat.

The two blondes exchanged smug smiles. They made a formidable team. Both had worked for Cawthornes for over fifteen years, and had progressed from office juniors to senior management positions. Both had strong alliances with the offices partners, and were a bad duo to cross. Diane was about to find out just how bad.

This is a formal meeting, explained Jenny, which is why, in line with policy and procedure, Ive asked Sandra as your immediate manager to attend. Are you happy with that?

Id rather she wasnt groaned Diane.

Jenny chose to ignore that comment. She wanted Sandra around so they could vouch for each other if needs be.

In association with head office in Leeds, weve conducted a re-profiling exercise of our support services departments, and have decided to re-align certain members of staff

Jenny flashed her smile. While Sandra managed to make her fake smiles look genuine Jenny didnt quite have that ability. The smile looked fake and plastic; Diane knew what was about to come next.

Unfortunately we concluded your role isnt in line with our cost cutting measures so weve been forced to evaluate your contribution

The condemned women sighed. Oh the language of HR

Which means? asked Diane.

Weve decided to move you into a new role with a different team.

There was a silence. Sandra ran a long nail through her hair, re-crossed her legs and smiled smugly before saying:

I hope you understand this has been very difficult for us, and I really do value your contribution to my team.

Her voice was insincere and her expression told Diane the story. This was Sandras revenge for the report incident. Before shed worked for Sandra Elwood shed heard stories that she wasnt a good woman to cross, but hadnt taken heed. So far as Diane was concerned she was just some air-headed bimbo whod flirted her way to the top. But now Diane was seeing the other side

Jenny continued:

Thank you Sandra. It has been very difficult, but unfortunately we dont have any other management level roles available in the office so

What a bloody joke! groaned Diane.

We dont think its funny, purred Sandra. Im going to be so sad to lose you from my team.

I bet you are! This is all about that stupid report?

No it isnt.

For Pete's sake! shouted Diane. Have you actually checked Sandras Sent Items? She never sent the stupid targets!

I did send them.

No you didnt!

Yes I did!!!

Jenny cut across. She didnt want this to blow up into a full on shouting contest. She knew full well Sandra hadnt sent the email, but that wasnt important.

we do have a position vacant in the company commercial department

But thats a secretarial role! shouted Diane.

Both Business Barbies smiled in unison. It was indeed a secretarial role. Diane Armstrong would be removed from management for good, and a clear message would be sent to all other junior managers. 

Yes it is, smirked Jenny.

Its an interesting position, added Sandra, and George Elliot is such a nice man to work for.

There was a silence before Diane managed to mumble:

Whats the salary?

With her fake smile across her face Jenny answered the question.

The most we could offer is £17,000

Diane gulped. That was an £8,000 pay cut. Her first response was to storm out of the room and be gone for good. Then she remembered her familys position. Her husbands job wasnt stable, and they had the mortgage. With Doncasters smaller firms making redundancies, there were few jobs going, so she needed the job. 

Sitting back in her chair, she eyed the two blonde managers. They both looked so perfect with their silky smooth skin, crystal white teeth, make-up, hair extensions, botox and boobs jobs. Both looked like butter wouldnt melt in their mouths, but Diane knew she was the victim of a hatchet job. _Oh why did I try to take on Sandra Elwood?_

So do you want to take it? queried Jenny with a raised eyebrow.

The role does have potential for future promotion, lied Sandra.

Still Diane couldnt respond.

In her head she knew what she wanted to do. _Oh how Id love to re-arrange youre snotty, stuck up facesId bang your heads together and believe me youd both need nose jobs to go with the boob jobs_

We understand if you need time to think about it. 

Ill take it, she groaned.

Thats fantastic! chirped Jenny. Im sure youll enjoy working for George. Now it might be best if you take the rest of today off while Sandra organises for your things to be moved Jenny smiled to save you any embarrassment.

Thanks, grunted Diane.

There was a long silence which was broken by Sandra saying:

Thats all, Diane. Head home now, and I hope there are no hard feeling. Were just doing our job.

The demoted manager could think of a million things to say, but at that point all she could say was:

I understand.

Thats great Diane.

Jenny had the final say: 
Ill make sure your salarys amended for payroll.

Gee thanks.

With that, Diane stumbled out of the meeting room and the two blondes closed their notepads. Somewhere in their heads, they were already explaining away what theyd just done as following instructions from partners. It was easier that way. 

That seemed to go well, said Sandra as she rose from her chair.

Yeah, but I hate doing it. 

Me too. 

Their satisfied smiles gave the lie to that statement.

Did you get that email from Roderick Cawthorne? asked Jenny as they headed out into the office block.

Yeah, it was sooo nice what he said.

Yup.

Hey, Jenn, what are you doing for lunch?

Pizza Express?

Sounds good.

Sitting at her desk for the afternoon, Sandra felt contented. Her two remaining managers were suddenly giving her total respect, and the department was humming along to perfection. Shed received nice emails from Roderick Cawthorne and James Simmons; no doubt she was secure in her position. 

Lazily she browsed the Selfridges website looking for sale items while sipping on the cup of tea her assistant had made her, and wasted the afternoon away.

*Interlude*

As always in the business world things returned to normality very quickly. The computers kept humming and the keyboards kept tapping, but there were subtle changes.

Diane swallowed her pride and returned to a mere legal secretary role. The pay was horrible, but her boss was nice, and she was glad to be away from Business Barbie. She met Sandra in the canteen and smiled nicely, but Diane just waited for the day she could return the favour. 

James Simmons was having a new lease of life after bedding sexy Sandra at the Travel Lodge. Soon the partner started to see all the hot little pieces of office ass around him as potential conquests. Before long hed added two secretaries and Jenny Preston to the notches on the bed post. 

One of the amusing surprises of his late leg-over success with the firms Number One and Two blonde hotties was how similar they both were  even down to their strategic choice of flab-managing magic underwear! They were both still incredibly gorgeous, of course, but somehow never again quite so unreachably intimidating in his fantasies. In fact, he was developing quite a taste for the office bimbos, and it was becoming like a drug he wanted more and more of.

Sandra herself continued as normal. Secure again in her position, she enjoyed a steady work day mixed in with trips to local restaurants and beauty salons. Her diet and exercise program never really started, and she continued to rely on Trinny & Susannahs wonder knickers. 

She flirted daily with James while explaining away their trip to the Travel Lodge as a one-off affair After all Sandra still loved her husband. And besides, she kind of fancied a BMW for her next birthday

But time does its thing, and the sands thereof had not finished running...


----------



## Observer (Dec 20, 2008)

*Chapter 5*

The spreadsheet was far from interesting; the facts and figures showed the latest Cawthorne’s Solicitors customer satisfaction survey. Gazing at the graphs and data, Sandra Elwood almost found herself drifting into a mid-afternoon slumber. As Customer Excellence Director, it was her job to prepare a complete annual report. It was a long, boring task, and the blonde office hottie was relieved when her desk phone began ringing.

“Hi! Sandra speaking.”

“Sandra, it’s me.”

“James!” she chirped “What can I do for you?”

“Loads of things,” he chuckled.

Sandra laughed before glancing over to check her office door was closed. Some of the conversations she had with her boss, James Simmons, were best kept away from her PA.

“Don’t be rude.”

“Of course not. Are you alone, sexy Sandra?”

“Yep.” 

“Good. Then I’m just checking you’ve remembered you’re accompanying me to tonight’s Business Link presentation…”

“How could I forget?”

“It’ll be great fun.” 

Sandra bit her glossy lip and crossed her legs: a tricky manoeuvre with her lush thighs, and in such a tight skirt. Just the thought of being illicitly alone with James again was making her grow a little moist inside her very snug spandex panties. She tried to limit her state of arousal, but hoped there would be more to their night together than just a Business Link presentation and a networking buffet.

“…mmmm…”

“I’m still on the train on my way up from London…” He paused. “…Any chance you can pick me up at five thirty at the station, sexy Sandra?”

“Of course I can, babe.”

“Good.”

The line went dead. Dreamily, Business Barbie tried to focus back on her report, with limited success. Her office affair was so much fun, but she dreaded being caught. She was on her third husband now, and with three kids by her previous partner Sandra didn’t want another divorce. She sort of loved Kev, but her boss was just so irresistible.

The tall, slim businessman stepped down from the first class carriage onto Doncaster station’s Platform Four at just after 5.30. It was cold, and a gust of freezing dry air rushed past him as he walked across the platform and towards the subway. The sounds of trains and rush hour travellers bounded off the walls of the stairwell and grew stronger as he walked along.

He climbed the stairs into the station entrance hall, walked past the ticket office and stepped out into the drop off bay. Directly in front of him were the station taxis, and across from them was the short stay car park. James glanced round quickly, his eyes resting on the silver Mercedes CLK coupe. He noted the private number plate; 42 SJE. 

Walking quickly across, he tapped on the passenger window and then opened the door.

“James!” 

“Hi Sandra,” he said as he hurled his lap top case into the back seat and settled down into the passenger seat. The heating was running, so the car was warm and filled with the scent of Sandra Elwood’s sugary perfume. He closed the door and settled down.

“How was your meeting?” asked the blonde Business Barbie as she slipped the Mercedes into drive and pulled out into the rush hour traffic.

“Good &#8211; very good in fact,” he said, unbuttoning his overcoat and throwing it into the back seat. “We should get some good business out of it.”

“Great!”

He checked out his companion. It was dark, but with the mixture of street and car lights he could make out the way her long, perfectly straight platinum blonde hair cascaded across her shoulders and down her back. It glittered against the neon light and contrasted directly with the jet black suit she was wearing. A short, sexy little skirt showed off her fake tanned legs as she worked the brake and accelerator.

“Naughty boy!” scolded Sandra playfully.

“What was that for?”

“That was for being a naughty boy,” she answered with a mischievous grin. “I can see you staring at me. Why, you’re practically drooling, James!”

“Maybe I am,” he chuckled, “Maybe I am.”

He smiled to himself as he contemplated the night ahead. No doubt this would be an interesting Business Link presentation after all.

Coming up on 8.15, the presentation had ended and the delegates were milling around the bar and buffet area. James was standing with a half empty pint of Guinness in hand and chatting with a senior manager from the council. To his right, Sandra Elwood was returning from the bar with a glass of white wine.

As the man from the council droned on about new zoning plans, he watched as the sexy blonde Barbie doll took a sip of her wine. In her snug fitting little business suit she looked hotter than hell. As soon as it was polite to do so, he excused himself and headed back over to his MILFy colleague.

“Interesting presentation eh?”

Sandra smiled brightly.

“Yeah, lots of great ideas.”

“Oh, what do you think the most useful idea was?”

Business Barbie tugged on her blonde extensions nervously and tried to think. Truth was, she’d glazed over through the whole presentation. It was boring, and Sandra had struggled to keep her eyes open.

“I thought all the ideas were useful.”

“So no particular one stood out?”

“Um…err…no, they were all great.”

James rolled his eyes. Predictably, the firm’s Customer Excellence Director had barely understood anything in the presentation, and might as well have been watching the Disney channel. In fact, she might have got more from Disney. Sandra Elwood was nothing more than a bubble headed bimbo with a great body. “Oh but what a great body!”

Leaning closer so no one could hear their conversation James murmured:

“You know we could sneak off an hour early and nobody would notice.”

“Room at the Sleep Inn again?” queried Sandra.

“That’s what I’m thinking.” He glanced at his Rolex wristwatch and continued: “Let’s have another half-hour mingling then do a runner.”

“Sounds good babes!”

She finished her glass of wine and headed back to the bar. James set to work on another prospective client. He was a master networker and before long was working the room with skill. Sandra chatted aimlessly to the swarm of guys who were crowding round her and distributed business cards like confetti. The following day she would no doubt receive a barrage of emails from guys pretending to be interested in the services of Cawthorne’s Solicitors but not observant enough to notice her wedding ring.

At 8.45 Diane Armstrong was driving her unassuming Fiat Punto along the A6182 past the Keepmoat Stadium on her way home. She glanced over at the new football station, home of Doncaster Rovers, and looked at the structure. Surrounded by the office blocks, fast food outlets and the retail park it was just another modern building. None of the character or charm of the old Belle View stadium. But then that was, reflected Diane, the “Spirit of Doncaster”.

She sighed and tried to focus on the road. Since being demoted to a Legal Secretary salary she’d taken a second job typing for a local architect and was working eleven hour days. The money wasn’t great, but it supplemented the family income to the point where they could keep their house &#8211; as long as her husband managed to hold his job down, that was. 

A set of headlights appeared from the Keepmoat Stadium car park, and a silver Mercedes pulled out in front. Diane hit the brakes and blinked. She’d almost been asleep at the wheel and ploughed into the back of the sleek, sexy coupé. Slowly re-gaining her focus, she followed the Mercedes, her eyes blurring around the tail lights and then settling on the yellow number plate; 42 SJE. 

“Sandra Elwood!”

Instinctively Diane dropped back. Since crossing the office glamour puss, life had become increasingly difficult for Diane. It somehow intimidated her following on the road. 

“With my luck I’ll probably end up crashing into the back of her and getting sued…” reasoned Diane.

So she followed on at a safe distance as they worked slowly around the mass of roundabouts and call centre’s. They passed the Cawthorne’s Solicitors office, and Diane noted the only cars in the car park were those of the security guy and James Simmons’ Bentley. “Obviously he’s working late.”

A mile or so along, she frowned. Sandra Elwood’s Mercedes was slowing and pulling into the car park of the Sleep Inn. 

“What could she be doing?” Diane’s heart beat quickened as she considered the possibilities. Instinctively she pulled into the car park and ground to a halt. She killed the engine and watched as the Mercedes pulled to a stop outside the motel. 

Then the passenger door opened, and Diane couldn’t hold back a big cheesy smile. James Simmons had just stepped out!

_“The little slut’s sleeping with him!”_ she realized.

His oxford heels thudded on the asphalt as he walked past the parked cars and rooms. The Sleep Inn was an old style motel and far from upmarket, but that was why he’d chosen it. A room was paid for in cash at reception, and there was no lobby. You simply stepped from your car into your room and nobody saw. At least that was the plan.

Reaching into his leather wallet, the wealthy partner handed the clerk two £20 notes and asked for a room with a double bed. The clerk nodded, handed over a room key and glanced out of the window. He noted the silver coupe with the hot blonde at the wheel. She had the interior light on and was fixing up her make-up. No doubt these two were sneaking off for a little extra-marital affair.

“Enjoy your stay.”

“I will,” responded James, noting where the clerk’s eyes were. He reached back into his wallet and handed over another £20.

“You never saw me, right?”

“Never clapped eyes on yer pal.” 

Satisfied, James walked back out and got back into the passenger seat. He looked down at the key and checked the room number. 

“We’re in Sixty-nine, dude!” he laughed, “just around the corner.”

Sandra finished her make-up, smiled, and drove slowly around the car park, checking the door numbers. She never noticed the Fiat, and wouldn’t have recognised it even if she had. James had reached across the centre console and his fingers were tickling her bare thighs. Sandra bit her lip; the sensation wasn’t unpleasant.

“That’s nice!” she purred. 

“Well, you’re a horny little minx.” 

“Uh-huh!”

Business Barbie trembled slightly as her boss’s hand moved slowly up her thighs and under the hem of her short skirt. She breathed deeply, audibly, as he moved his hand further and higher, until she could feel the tips of his fingers caressing the inside of her soft thighs. Her spandex “control thong” made it difficult for him to get to her already moist centre.

“You’re wearing your wonder knickers again,” James remarked as the car stopped outside room number sixty nine.

“Mmmm…”

“…but not for long…”

Sandra killed the motor, opened the door, and the two stepped out into the cold night. He wrapped an arm round her sexy bum as he fumbled with the key and squeezed those luscious curves. For years he’d watched that perfect posterior wiggle around his office and dreamed of doing just what he was about to do. Devouring the hot blonde office bimbo was becoming an all-consuming passion.

The door opened and the two crashed into the warm room.

He grabbed hold of her wrist, pushed her hard against the bedroom wall and knelt down between her legs, lifted her skirt and, after a brief but vehemently elastically resistant struggle, managed to lower her moist gusseted lycra shape wear to pinch-thighed half-mast. He started to tongue her. 

“Oh, wow!” she murmured above him.

Sexy Sandra gasped for breath and quickly experienced an incredibly powerful orgasm. 

“Mmmmmm!”

While she was still reeling, her tanned legs shaking, she felt his tongue being replaced by something far more forceful and conventional inside her pussy. Her fleecy plumpness pulsated and throbbed internally, gripping him avidly, milking him until he exploded inside her. In unison they each placed a hand on the other’s mouth as they came, desperate not to wake the neighbours.

“Oh my bloody G--!” gasped James as they collapsed onto the bed, sexy Sandra still on top of him. Her pretty face glistened with sweat and she was breathing deeply.

“Incredible!” he stammered, wiping the sweat from his own brow.

Sandra Elwood rolled over, her manicured fingers running around him.

Yet again they both had occasion to marvel at how something so morally illicit could feel so physically perfect and satisfying.

“Promise never to tell Kev,” she whispered.

“Yep…and you never tell my wife.”

Sandra nodded. The affair would stay their little secret. Neither wanted, nor could afford, a divorce.

Ten minutes later, the two crept back out of the room like naughty teenagers and got back into Sandra’s car. She turned the ignition key, put the headlights on, and headed back out of the Sleep Inn car park. 

The clerk smiled as he watched the Mercedes pull back out onto the road. He glanced at his watch. The guy had paid sixty quid for a thirty minute stay. “Why couldn’t he just have banged her in the back of the car?” He shrugged. For some reason the rich ones always preferred a motel room.

Diane, meanwhile, followed on. She couldn’t quite believe what she’d just seen. It was sleazy and wrong; she knew both Sandra and James were married. Her head spun as she followed them back to Cawthorne’s Solicitors. She stopped in the lay by next to the office car park and watched as the office’s managing partner stepped out of the Merc and walked over to his Bentley. Diane turned her car lights off as Sandra, now alone, drove back out of the car park.

For brief moment when the adulterous blonde Barbie looked left and right to check for oncoming traffic Diane thought she was busted. But no, Sandra pulled across and headed back home oblivious. Minutes later James’ Bentley Continental followed. No doubt they were both going back to their families as if nothing had happened.

_“Well, now I know your dirty little secret,” _said Diane to herself.

The question was how to use it.

As the Bentley’s tail lights disappeared into the distance, Diane turned the ignition key. The feeble Fiat engine spluttered and died… Her eyes settled on the petrol gauge. It was empty. She’s been so engrossed in the little affair she’d been watching that the amateur sleuth had completely forgotten she was almost out of petrol.

“Screw you Sandra bloody Elwood!” she shouted, her fists banging on the steering wheel.

Then, with a resigned expression on her face, she opened the car door and stepped out into the freezing night air. Wrapping herself in her overcoat, she began her walk. It was a good three miles to the nearest petrol station. 

Once again Diane rued her decision to cross sexy Sandra. _“But someday… some day very soon, you’ll regret what you did to me, slut…” _

(Continued in post 11 of this thread)


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## curvluver (Dec 24, 2008)

Great Story!

Can't wait to see where this goes next!!!! :eat2:


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## Observer (Dec 28, 2008)

*Chapter 6*

Walking from the Armstrong familys six-year-old car, Diane brooded about her lot in life. It was Saturday, and she was attending a family wedding at the Marriot Swallow Hotel in Sheffield. 

Even though it was a Saturday, the demoted manager couldnt stop thinking about work - they say knowledge is power, but Diane Armstrong couldnt see how that was true. Power was having lots of money, owning a company or having a big job. Without any of those, knowledge was worthless. She knew her nemesis, Sandra Elwood, was having an affair with the offices managing partner, but what use was that knowledge?

For the remainder of the week shed puzzled over ways of making Sandra pay, but came up with zilch. She had no actual proof. Whats more, affairs and office romances were common at Cawthornes Solicitors. So it was no big deal anyway. Over lunch shed set the rumour whirling about Sandra and James, but that had been met with a response of so what? It seemed everybody sort of expected it anyway.

You know what Sandras like. 

Or Shes on her second husband anyway.

Or James Simmons is kind of sexy, so it makes sense.

All added up, the impact had been minimal. She sighed.

Youre not thinking about work again? questioned her husband Stewart.

Yeah. 

Just forget it and relax. Have fun today. Were gonna be just fine.

Diane nodded. She would do her best. The Sheffield Marriot was a huge country mansion that had been converted into a resort. It sported huge grounds and a fitness club, and they were booked in for the night. All in all, it probably was an opportunity to relax and settle down.

Yeah I suppose its going to be good. 

Absently she checked out the entrance to the country hall. A black BMW X5 was slowly driving down the lane leading into the car park. The hulking 4x4 was a couple of years old but was spotlessly clean and sported the private number plate KL 9940. 

another one of those idiots who buys a second hand car and tries to hide it with a private number platebut then I guess the thing cost about £20,000 so who am I to talk

Then she gasped Oh no!!!!!

What?

Sandra Elwood!!!

Sexy Sandra was indeed seated in the passenger seat of her husbands BMW, and was checking her reflection out in her compact. The blonde bombshell was far too engrossed in her lip gloss to notice pedestrians as she lovingly pasted yet more Estee Lauder onto her lips. As the car stopped in a parking space, she pouted for herself and looked across to her husband Kevin.

Kev, how do I look?

Great.

Not entirely convinced, Sandra glanced back at her reflection. She was, indeed, close to perfect, flashing herself a crystal white smile.

I look stunning!

This was a statement of truth. Sandra Elwood did indeed look stunning. 

Carefully, she squinted at her reflection, applied just a little extra lip gloss, and pouted with satisfaction. All dolled up for the wedding, Sandra looked her absolute best. Shed spent the morning at the Elements beauty salon in Doncaster having a whole range of preparatory work  she was sporting long acrylic nails, picture perfect make-up, her extensions had been touched up, a bronzed San Tropez tan had been applied, and a whole range of facial treatments performed. 

Whats more, a week prior to that, the somewhat self-absorbed Sandra had spent a day at MYA having her botox refreshed, lips enhanced, and a chemical skin peel.

The cumulative effect of all that cosmetic attention was jaw dropping.

Satisfied, she opened the passenger door and stepped down onto the asphalt. Kevin was already hauling the suitcases from the boot, and the couple walked slowly to the hotel reception.

I hope your family are at least a bit nice to me this time, fretted Sandra as she recalled previous family dos.

Im sure they will be.

Um

Sandra wasnt so sure. Shed been married to Kevin for five years, but the relationship with his family had always been frosty. Kevin Liddell already had two kids by his first wife, and had indulged in an affair with the blonde heartbreaker. That in turn had led to them frequenting almost every hotel in South Yorkshire before they got busted. His wife divorced him, and Sandras previous husband threw her out of the house. After that theyd moved in together. Their marriage was far from perfect, but both preferred it to being alone.

Are your mum and dad here?

Yep.

Oh Kev, you are gonna look after me?

Dont worry he laughed. Youll be safe.

I wonder with your mum sometimes

Stepping into the reception area of the hotel, Sandra glanced at another mirror and frowned as much as she could after all the botox and chemical peels. She was looking plump. Not fat by any means, but at forty-two, with three kids and an affluent lifestyle, the blonde beauty was definitely carrying around a layer of extra padding. Her blue D&G jeans were a little too tight, and sexy Sandra wasnt wearing any of her shape wear. Shed planned to be as comfortable as possible for the drive over and change into her party dress at the hotel. With horror she noted her slight pot belly pooching over the waistband.

These jeans really are too tight! 

Concerns about her weight were amplified as an elderly female voice shouted across the reception area.

Hello, Kevin my dear! cooed Ann Liddell, before turning to her home-wrecking, dolly bird daughter-in-law and asking: 

Sandra, are you putting on weight?

Underneath her fake tan Sandra blushed furiously, nervously tugging on her long blonde hair extensions. She was terrified of her mother in law.

Umerrr

Kevin cut in. No she isnt. Now what room are you in? Ill carry your bags.

310, barked Ann as she was inspecting blondies plump buns and belly. Those jeans hardly fit her.

Mum please

Not like your dress, which is so amazing, sniped Sandra sarcastically as she sucked her middle in. Did you make it yourself, Ann?

Yes I did, the old lady responded. As you well know I was a seamstress.

Yeah, but by the looks of it youve been retired a long time.

But at least it fits me.

That led to an awkward silence. Pushing past, Sandra stormed towards the lift, her spiked heels thumping hard on the floor, her bubble butt wobbling slightly within its denim-cupped second skin. She wasnt going to have her look insulted by some frumpy seventy-year-old woman.

Keep that old hag away from me, she whispered to her husband.

Kevin nodded. His wife and his mother were definitely best kept at a safe distance. Otherwise sparks would fly. And a little tiff about fashion sense was small fry compared to a discussion about marriage vows

Meanwhile, in room 417 Diane was flicking through the hotel brochure. There wasnt much else to do. Her husband had gone for a walk around the grounds, and the room itself was small. 

_£90 for a night and its like a postage stamp!_ she thought. The room had a creaky double bed, a view of the car park. and even connected to the next room with a thin door. Fortunately that room appeared to be unoccupied, but at £90 a night Diane would have expected more.

_I should go down and complain._

Then she heard clattering and banging from next door, followed by her nemesis voice.

Your mum is a total frickin bitch! bawled thar familiar voice. Like she can talk with her fat ass and

Calm down Sandra babe, said a deep male voice.

Im not fat!

I know youre not babe

Okay Ive got a bit of a belly, but she can go scew herself!

Diane smiled  that was the Sandra Elwood she knew lurked behind the picture perfect facade. For all her professional polish, Sandra was a Donny girl. Curiosity took over, and Diane tip-toed over to the dividing door. She listened closely; it sounded like the couple were bringing in suitcases and dumping them on the floor.

And this rooms crap Sandra was moaning. I thought we booked a suite?

No. Im not paying £150 for a bloody hotel room for this stupid wedding. You know moneys tight right now.

Yeah, cos you didnt pay your taxes

Dont start, Sandra.

Diane smiled at that  it was nice to know all was not 100% perfect in the land of Sandra Elwood. The way Sandra boasted at work, it was like her husband was a millionaire, but his BMW was a good few years old, and this hinted that they needed her salary. _That explains why she was so desperate about her job_

Then the nosey neighbour spotted the keyhole. She couldnt resist crouching down and peering through. For weeks shed obsessed over the blonde bimbo, and this was her chance to see her behind the scenes. Already Diane had heard Business Barbie say things shed never have said at workmaybe there would be more.

Peeking through the keyhole, Diane watched Sandra carrying a silk, peachy gold coloured dress across the room. Kevin then stepped across into view  it was the first time Diane had seen him but he was a devastatingly good looking guy. He had a hefty build, tanned skin and short jet black hair. He was carrying a suit.

That dress is new?

Yep, chirped Sandra as she held it up for him. I got it at Robinsons.

He groaned. How much was it?

£300.

Cripes Sandra, how did you pay for it?

Credit card.

What! And we just paid for all Jennas driving lessons

I look gorgeous in it, pouted Sandra, and I have to look gorgeous.

He slumped down on the bed, whilet Sandra lay the dress carefully down over the bedside table. She then padded back across the room over to her husband. Without her heels Diane was shocked at just how short the middle-aged Barbie doll was. No wonder she always wears those killer heels and she has got a bit of a belly

Sandra pooched her rear out and sat on the bed next to her husband. She wrapped an arm around his shoulder and said soothingly:

Aw Kev, stop worrying  well be fine sweetie. She kissed him. My jobs secure

How can you be sure? You said there was talk of redundancies? 

Trust me babes, Im like totally secure, and youll be making loads a money again soon. You always do.

Thanks.

Diane backed away from the keyhole. Suddenly she felt bad listening into that. They were a couple having a private conversation, and Diane wasnt really a peeping Tom. However much she hated the woman, it felt bad listening in. Still, she couldnt help but smile at the totally secure comment  
_Yeah, as long as James Simmons is banging your brains out at the Sleep Inn you're safe. _

Then she thought about the redundancies comment. 

_Oh but wait a minute - she may be safe but I bet Im right in the firing line_

Fifteen minutes later, Diane couldnt resist another peep through the keyhole. Her husband was still out walking, and she could hear her neighbours banging around. Diane crouched down once more and took a look. Her heart fluttered at the sight.

Kevin was standing in his boxers and showing off a beefy bod. Big pecs, strong arms and a true rugby players build. Sure, he had a bit of a gut, but overall Diane was impressed. How could Sandra cheat on him?

Diane enjoyed watching as he stepped into his trousers. Then her blonde nemesis stepped into view. Diane gulped  it was Sandra in a pair of pink panties. She was topless, her boob job holding hard and firm in front of her. Absolutely, for a lady of forty-two she had an impressive chest. But the rest of her looked more her age.

A plump pot belly bulged over her panties, and two plump butt cheeks wobbled behind her. Sexy Sandra had grown soft over the years. Diane wanted to criticise, but compared to her own figure the middle-aged Barbie was positively svelte.

_But you are starting to go to pot,_ she said to herself. _Its all downhill from now, Sandra._

For a brief moment Diane imagined a really fat Sandra Elwood, all that beauty lost as she blimped out._ For once youd actually have to use your brain rather than your body_

Kev, asked Sandra, have you seen my slip?

Um Kevin shrugged which one?

The one I got last week.

Kevin rose and placed a hand on his wifes belly.

The one that hides your yummy tummy?

Yeah that one, she laughed, and stop calling it a yummy tummy.

But it is he chuckled as he tickled her middle.

Stop it! I cant get into that dress without it, and I dont want your mum calling me fat all day.

Just ignore her.

I cant Kev.

Everybody else does.

He rummaged around in the case as Sandra stood watching. It was funny for Diane; she was used to a picture perfect Barbie doll posing around the office. But with her husband, in what she assumed was the privacy of her room, the performance was gone. For a brief moment Diane thought she might be a normal, decent person.

Eventually Kevin handed across a body coloured slip that looked suspiciously polyester and spandex in composition. Ah, so thats how she keeps her figure

Thanks Kev.

Goodbye to your yummy tummy.

Stepping into the slip, Sandra tugged upwards. The Lycra clung around her soft milky thighs, rolling their film of excess upwards in a plump, pinched tide ahead of its waistbands advance. She worked the flab-consuming garment with delicately finger-tipped concentration until it had encapsulated her full hips in its bulge-smoothing grip. Sandra paused and took a deep breath. It clearly was a squeeze. 

She bit her pink glossy lip and renewed her efforts. The Lycra rolled and flipped and snaked over her quiveringly protesting butt cheeks and the jiggly protrusion of her belly. Finally the slip was fully adjusted to prime figure enhancing position, its high waistband reaching to just below Sandras suspiciously firm, bountiful and buoyant breasts. Her abs were sleek, her tummy flat, her waistline pared by at least a couple of inches, and her ass was high and rounded, and as firm and still as a Playboy centrefolds. The effect was impressive.

Remind me to diet Kev, grunted the blonde bombshell as she ran her hands down along her tighter than skin Lycra coating. I really need to slim down a bit.

Yeah whatever

Seriously Kev, I need to diet.

She padded back out of view and towards the bathroom. For a few more minutes Diane ogled Kev and his pecs as he buttoned his shirt up. Then the door to her room opened. She shot upright and smiled as her husband stepped in. He didnt need to know shed been peeping through the keyhole.


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## Observer (Jan 3, 2009)

*Chapter 7*

Andy Weston was an expert on weddings, and this wasnt a bad one. 

Not amazing  like the one where the groom parachuted in  but pretty good all the same. The Marriott was a first class hotel with beautiful grounds. That had worked well for the formal photographs. Which was a relief for the photographer; the bride herself was somewhat plain looking and had needed all the help she could get from the scenery. The weather had held up and, while it was chilly, there was a brilliant blue sky and perfect sunshine. 

All right folks, shouted Andy to the amassed family, can I have Kevin, Sandra and their two girls for a photo with the bride and groom

An elderly voice shouted back:

The two girls arent Sandras.

Shut up mum!

Sandra shot her mother in law an evil look while taking hold of her husbands arm. At every opportunity she reminded whoever would listen that sexy Sandra was wife number two. Similarly, she would also explain how wonderful wife number one had been and how perfect the Liddell family had been before Sandra arrived. 

Walking across to get their photograph taken, Sandra switched into her hip swaying, bottom wiggling walk. Her white-gold coloured satin dress really was snug around her curvy figure, and almost as a unit the men of the two families stood and stared. 

Okay Kevin and Sandra, said Andy, if you could step over here

He smiled. There was always a Sandra at every wedding. The foxy older woman in some glitzy designer dress and making all the men go wild. It made a good photograph.

thats it: stand either side, and if you girls could stand either side of mum.

Shes not our mum! piped Kevins twelve year old daughter Nicole.

No, shes dads blonde bimbo, added Carla.

Im not a bimbo!

Nervously, Sandra tugged on her blonde extensions. Kevs two daughters hated her with a passion. However much she tried to be nice to them, they threw it back at her. Not for the first time, she held back the tears and thought how much simpler things had been with her last husband. Before he caught her cheating and threw her out of the house, that was.

Dont talk to Sandra like that!!! shouted Kevin at his daughters.

But

Do it again, Carla, and youll be in your bedroom the rest of the day.

B-b-but

Im not kidding!

Noticing the look in their fathers eyes, the two girls grudgingly stood next to their step-mum and forced a smile. And, as always, Sandra automatically flashed her crystal white, picture-perfect smile for the camera. Anxiously, she waited for the photographer to finish so she could get away from Kevs daughters. She wouldnt put it past them to have another go at her.

Oh Gawd I cant wait to get back home 

Walking back after the photo Kevin, his arm wrapped round his wifes waist, whispered:

Sorry they said that to you.

She didnt respond. What his daughters had said stung. 

You want to go get a drink?

Yeah.


Watching with interest, Diane noted the stress in the blonde Business Barbies face. With all the botox and chemical peels it was hard for Sandra to actually show real emotion, but at that point the blonde looked hurt. Like she wanted to cry, but was in fact forced to smile. 

Kind of how I feel when Im around her at work

It was funny, reflected Diane, outside of work shed lost some of that swaggering confidence. She was clinging to her husbands arm like a scared little girl and beating a retreat for the bar. No doubt the little slut wasnt popular with the Liddell family. Shed be even less popular if they knew what she was doing with James Simmons

Thats Sandra Elwood from work, she said to her husband.

Not the Elwood?

Yep, the very one.

Well I finally got to see her.

Shes a total bitch, snapped Diane.

I suppose.

Stewart watched the glamorous blonde dolly bird wiggle her way back into the hotel. Every night for the past few years hed heard stories about The Elwood. He sat listening as she told him of the long lunches, idiocy and complete incompetence of the firms Customer Excellence Director. 

The more pragmatic Stewart had advised his wife to back off and try to make friends with her. Hed reasoned that it was never a good idea to get on the wrong side of your boss. That prediction had proved correct when Diane had finally been moved to a different department, demoted, and taken a pay cut.

Whos her relation here?

Kevin Liddells her third husband, explained Diane. She got caught having an affair with him. Dont you remember? It was a few years back and her ex threw her out

Maybe I remember you saying something.

Diane laughed at the memory.

He threw her out and she had to drive around in this crappy old Nissan Micra for a few months. It was so funny, and she used to park it right at the back of the car park so nobody could see it.

Stewart rolled his eyes. His wifes workplace was more like a soap opera than a law firm. 

I bet you all were really supportive.

Diane shrugged.

Shes a snobby cow, and it couldnt have happened to a better person. Ive no respect at all for Sandra Elwood. Shes useless at her job and just sits there looking pretty

I get the picture, he cut in.

Shes putting on weight too

For Gods sake Diane, stop the gossiping, groaned Stewart. Im going to go get a drink.

But shes at that bar

Stewart smiled.

I know, I might say hello

You better not!

With that he ambled off into the bar. Although he wouldnt have said it in front of his wife, The Elwood was a babe. Whats more hed heard so much about her that there was a little curiosity thrown in there too. 

She cant be as bad as all that

Standing by the bar Kevin, had purchased a bottle of Chardonnay which his wife was consuming at quite a pace. Sandra gulped the first glass down like she was in a pint drinking contest, and then rapidly moved onto a second. No doubt she had a long day ahead of her.

Your family are total dooners, she groaned between mouthfuls.

I know but

And Ive tried to be nice to your kids, Kev; I really have, but I get nothing back. She finished her second glass. I just want them to like me a teeny little bit.

I know but

Sexy Sandra was filling another wine glass.

And dont get me started on your stupid mum. I go to all this effort to look good and she goes and says Imum Sandra lowered her voice m-m-m-mutton dressed as lamb  and everyone heard!

Youre not mutton dressed as lamb to me.

Aw thanks Kev.

Walking into the bar, Stewart Armstrong couldnt take his eyes off The Elwood. His wifes nemesis was leaning into her husband, talking while knocking back the wine at quite a pace. But that wasnt really Stewarts focus. He was far more drawn to the perfect figure on show in that sexy little dress. Firm derriere pooching out, toned stomach, bronzed legs, and a most impressive chest. All completed by a picture-perfect face and long, perfectly straight platinum blonde hair.

He fixed his best smile on the couple as he stood by the bar.

Hello all! he said cheerily. Lovely service didnt you think?

Sandra looked over at the overweight, balding man whod arrived, and flashed her glittering pearly white smile.

It was beautiful, and I loved the brides dress. She looked sooo pretty!

Aye, good weather for it too.

It is that, agreed Kevin in the boring exchange of pleasantries. Im Kevin Liddell, and this is my wife Sandra.

The two men shook hands and Sandra continued to exhibit her smile.

Good to meet you both.

The three chatted pleasantly as Stewart ordered a round of drinks. They discussed their relationship to the bride and groom. Then the expense of rooms at the Marriot hotel, followed by Stewarts account of the terrible traffic round Sheffield and his difficulties in actually finding the hotel. It was the kind of bland conversation you have with strangers at weddings. Sandra was glazing over when a familiar face joined them at the bar.

Hi Sandra, said Diane.

um Sandra frowned as she sipped on her wine umDiane?

Yes its me.

Oherrhi Diane! chirped the middle-aged Barbie doll with a forced smile. Do ya want some wine?

Im okay; I dont much like wine.

With a condescending sneer Sandra jabbed.

I never imagined you did. How about a pint of lager? I suppose thats more your thing, isnt it?

Diane didnt respond to that. Instead she turned to her husband:

Stewart, they want us outside for the photos.

Oh, wonderful! He smiled at Kevin and Sandra. Well good meeting you both.

Diane took hold of her husbands arm and tugged him away. The last thing she wanted was him making friends with Sandra Elwood. 


By 10pm Sandra was completely wasted on champagne, and her blonde head was spinning. Shed endured a reception dinner seated with her mother-in-law and step-daughters, whod virtually ignored her. Kevs brother had then made fun of her botox and boob job. Then her mother-in-law had proceeded to lecture the table on the evils of vanity and cosmetic surgery. The low point had been Kevs brothers comment:

I just wonder how many of these implants burst

If you ask me, her mother-in-law had added, it serves them right for being so vain in the first place.

After that Kev had told his mother to shut up, and the family had finished the meal in an awkward silence.

With the disco blaring out, sexy Sandra had downed yet more wine before escaping out into the grounds. She was wobbling on her heels and struggling to focus as the world blurred around her. Her arms were splayed out for balance and her hips bumped into the ornate flower pots. The drunken beauty took another sip of wine.

Oh groan, what else? sighed Sandra to herself.

Her life was complicated. She had three kids by an ex-husband who wouldnt speak to her, was on her second husband, and was having an affair with her boss. Whats more, she knew her beauty was fading. It took a huge amount of effort and expense to hold onto her blonde bombshell looks, and sexy Sandra had precious little else to offer when they faded.

Oh nooooo, whats gonna become of me?

Then the tears began to roll. She grabbed hold of the wall for support and cried. The tears were those of a spoilt little girl; the blonde yummy mummy just couldnt understand why she couldnt have exactly what she wanted all the time.

Life could be cruel for a middle-aged glamour queen.

Diane had only stepped out for a smoke, but, hearing the tears, curiosity took over. She walked around the side of the huge stately home and peered across at the bawling blonde. Alcohol was clouding her own judgement, so it took Diane some time to recognise the long blonde hair and hourglass figure as belonging to The Elwood.

Hey Sandra, shouted Diane, you okay?

The voice pulled the blonde from her self-absorbed woe. She glanced over her shoulder.

Diane?

Yeah its me. What you crying about?

Just stuff, sniffed the blonde.

What stuff?

Sandras blonde head was spinning from the champagne. Part of her knew not to talk to Diane, but then as they say, alcohol loosens lips.

I miss my husband, she slurred.

Im sure hes only in the hotel. I can go get him if you want

Noooonot that one

The yummy mummy wobbled on her heels as more tears rolled. For the first time ever, Diane saw The Elwood experiencing what she took to be a human emotion.

You mean Leon?

Ummmmyou know he wont even talk to me? she sobbed And Ive had three kids with him andummmhes a bastard!

Diane resisted the urge to point out that Leon probably had every reason to feel wronged. After all, it was Sandra whod started the affair with Kev and got caught. Shed made her bed, so now she had to sleep in it. Instead, Diane said as soothingly as she could:

Youve got Kev.

I suppose.

There was a pause as Sandra tried to focus. 

You must be so jealous, Diane

What?

My husbands sooo much better looking than yours, and youve got that crappy job, and Im so beautiful and

Shut up Sandra!

Im just saying slurred blondie.

That led to a long silence before Sandra issued a command:

Get me another glass of champagne

I think youve had enough as it is.

Isaidumget me another glass! 

Sandra, were not at work now, so cut the super bitch performance.

You ugly loser  I told you to get me

Years worth of frustration took over at that point, and Diane lashed out. She pushed hard against her tormentors shoulders. For a moment Sandra wobbled on her heels, her arms flailing out for balance before grasping hold of the plant pot. The tall, thin, ornate object wasnt up to the task, and with a loud thud the drunken bimbo from hell crashed hard to the ground. Her butt hit the ground first followed by her blonde head.

Diane gasped. 

Oh heavensare you alright Sandra?


Meanwhile inside the hotel, Kevin was searching everywhere for his wife. He knew shed been hitting the sauce hard, but hed also managed to lose track of her. Now he was kicking himself for doing so and looking frantically. He asked his brother:

Have you seen Sandra?

Nope.

He sighed.

Ive no idea where shes gone.

Probably screwing some random bloke she found.

Get lost!

Kevin stormed out of the disco and checked out the bar. There was no sign of her there. Almost sprinting, he headed up to the bedroom in hope his lady had given up on the family and taken an early night. But she wasnt there either. Now properly worried, he headed back outside and began walking the grounds.

Surely she cant have got lost out here?


Crouching down, Diane cupped the back of the fallen blondes head and felt behind that platinum blonde mane. She dreaded feeling blood. With relief she ran her fingers over a simple bruise  Sandras bum had taken most of the impact. No doubt that was very sore.

You okay? 

That question received only a confused groan in response.

Sandra! Are you alright? she repeated.

At that moment blondie was only aware of a throbbing headache and a completely numb bum. She tried to focus her big brown eyes on Diane with limited success. 

My head hurts!

Thats cos you banged it, soothed Diane. Its only a bruise.

Slowly Sandra connected the dots and recalled what had happened.

You pushed me!

No I didnt,

Yeah you did, and Im gonna tell Kev and hell

Diane thought quickly. She had indeed pushed blondie, and that could cause all kinds of problems. From what hed seen of Kev, hed defend his bitchy blonde wife to the hilt, and she wouldnt put it past Sandra to press charges. Although Sandra couldnt prove anything, it would destroy Dianes career prospects at Cawthornes Solicitors once and for all. So she snarled:

No you wont, you silly little tart! 

That got blondies attention. She shut up and listened as Diane said in a cool voice:

if you do, Ill tell Kev all about your little trip to the Sleep Inn with James Simmons.

Whaa.?

Diane smiled.

I saw you with him last week  so be a good girl and keep your mouth shut. Or else

That sentence was never finished. The thud of shoes on the pavement caused Diane to look back at the advancing Kevin Liddell. He was now in a sprint as he approached his fallen wife, a look of concern on his face.

What happened?

She fell, Diane explained quickly.

Is she okay?

He crouched down, relieved to see Sandra appeared fine. Her dress had ridden up and revealed her control slip; her hair was a mess, and her make-up had run. Fortunately, he there seemed to be no cuts or bruises. She was also quite obviously very drunk.

Oh thank God its you, Kev! 

How much have you drunk Sandra?

Shed finished that bottle of champagne, informed him Diane helpfully.

My head hurts!

Im not surprised.

Kev rolled his eyes. His wife definitely loved her champagne, it was just a shame she couldnt hold it a bit better. All in all, it was lucky shed fallen with Diane around.

Come on; lets get you back to the room.

He took hold of his wifes hands and hauled her up. Shed long since kicked off her heels and walked as best she could alongside her husband. Diane watched as The Elwood buried her head in her husbands chest and stumbled back into the hotel. The walk lacked the usual hip swaying wiggle and was simply functional. 

Thanks for looking after her, shouted Kev.

No problem.

As the doors closed, Diane reached into her bag and pulled out a cigarette. Taking a long drag of her Benson & Hedges, she thought about what had happened. Shed caught a glimpse of the real Sandra Elwood behind the Business Barbie facade. Really, she was just a silly, spoilt bimbo whod allowed herself to be completely consumed by her own self indulgent vanity. Now in her forties, she was paying the price.

And it couldnt be happening to a better person


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## Observer (Jan 15, 2009)

*Chapter 8*

On Monday morning the boardroom of Cawthornes Solicitors’ Doncaster branch held the monthly management meeting. There was a smell of coffee mixed in with cologne and perfume as the offices management team planned ahead. James Simmons sat at the head of the table, the office’s other five partners next to him, and then the office’s four senior directors and managers. 

Sandra Elwood was seated towards the end of the table. It reflected her status in the senior management team. For, while she was a director, she wasn’t a qualified solicitor or partner. So she knew her place. 

In addition, the office hottie was happy to take a back seat. After the wedding she felt worse for wear and had seriously considered calling in sick that morning. Indeed, if it hadn’t been the morning of the monthly management meeting, sexy Sandra would still have been curled up in her comfy bed.

“Oh man this meeting’s boring…I just want to curl up in bed and go to sleep…ouch! My head hurts…” 

The agenda of the meeting was moving on to internal cost cutting measures. Following the completion of a report entitled &#8216;100% Efficiency’ it had been decided that each department should review its support and secretarial staff.

“Moving onto 100% Efficiency,” sighed James, “I know the report’s not popular’ but Moira Hogg-Newton compiled it and Roderick’s keen on it’ so it’s going ahead. Basically, we have to lose four support staff, so, any suggestions?”

“It’s a good excuse to get rid of Lindsey Dellar,” offered Janice Ward, the head of the Family Law department. “She’s a mobile sick note anyway.”

“She had five days off last month,” explained Jenny Preston.

“…and six the month before.”

“Sounds like she’s hardly ever in work,” snorted James.

That suggestion received unanimous approval. Jenny Preston scribbled the name on her notepad, and the often ill secretary’s demise was sealed. As HR Manager, Jenny felt it necessary to add a little guidance.

“One thing to give some thought to is redundancy payouts. It’s the firm’s policy to pay out full redundancy, so we should look at those who are new to departments to keep the cost down.”

That received a few more nods.

“Then I suppose that girl who just joined my department,” sighed another partner, “has to go. What’s her name?”

“Sarah Catch,” chirped Jenny brightly.

“That’s it. A shame &#8211; good girl really.”

“Believe me,” groaned James “nobody’s enjoying this.”

George Elliot cleared his throat and reluctantly added:

“Diane Armstrong just joined my department a month or so back. She’s jolly good at the job, but I suppose with this report…”

Sandra’s blonde head spun. She remembered what Diane had said at the wedding &#8211; in fact she’d thought of little else. Without a doubt, Diane did know about her affair with James Simmons, and equally certainly, she would be prepared to fight back. Being pushed over had been a wake up call for Business Barbie. Now probably wasn’t the best time to get on the wrong side of Diane Armstrong again.

“She’s actually worked for us for over ten years,” said Sandra.

“Yes,” chipped in Jenny, “but because she was just demoted and changed department the redundancy payout will be lower.”

“Diane is also good at her job,” protested George.

“…and she’s been loyal to the firm” added Sandra. “She worked for me and she was an excellent member of my team. I was so sad to lose her and…um…I think she’s an asset to the firm.”

James nodded. Legal secretaries tended to move jobs every five minutes, and one who’d stuck around for ten years was worth hanging on to. Besides, both a partner and a director had spoken highly of her.

“Fine, we’ll keep her.” He checked his notes. “We ran a disciplinary on Ben Martin last month. How do you find him, Keith?”

Keith shrugged. “I’ve never been comfortable with a male secretary, and he’s not quite up to scratch, so he can go for me.”

“Good.” The managing partner looked at Jenny. “Put his name down too.”

“Yes James.”

Then the meeting moved on to other matters. An hour later, four junior staff members had their fates sealed. The monthly marketing budget was also agreed and the meeting concluded with a fiery debate about reserved parking spaces. Walking out of the meeting, George Elliot smiled at the firm’s Customer Excellent Director.

“Thanks for putting a good word in for Diane like that; she’s a good one you know”

Sandra nodded.

“I love her loads,” she lied shamelessly. “It was a shame I lost her to you.”

“She’s certainly an asset.”

They both headed off to their respective departments. The blonde Business Barbie’s head was still pounding from the weekend. Along with the hangover, she sported a hefty bruise on the back of her head. With a sigh, she stepping into the safety of her office and settled down in her ergonomically shaped leather chair. It seemed like it was going to be a long day.

“You okay Sandra?” asked her assistant.

“Nooo, my head hurts after that wedding.”

“Ah, hangover?”

“Yep.”

Janet smiled at her boss. The normally flawless blonde did look just a little worse for wear.

“I’ll fix you up a nice tea and sort you an aspirin.”

“Ooo thanks Janet babes!”

Business Barbie shifted her weight and watched as her assistant disappeared to fetch her tea and aspirin. She loved having a PA. It boosted her ego no end and made her feel important. Sandra indulged herself in a smug smile &#8211; she’d done well for herself. “I’m not doing bad for a girl with only two O Levels to my name…”

Then her big brown eyes settled on the photograph of her three children and husband. Without a doubt she loved them all.

“No way can I afford another divorce…”


Across the office block, Diane Armstrong watched as her boss returned from the monthly managers meeting. Over the weekend she’d run over the redundancies comment she’d heard through the keyhole and worried. She knew a partner from Leeds had been reviewing staff performance, and her name was bound to be in the firing line.

“Excuse me George,” she said politely to her boss, “can I have a quiet word?”

“Of course you can, let’s go grab a coffee.”

Walking over to the canteen and the Starbucks machine, Diane finally popped the question:

“There’s been rumors circulating about redundancies for support staff…”

George frowned. He had no idea how that rumor had got out, but he didn’t deny it either.

“Possibly.”

Diane gulped. “I was wondering, is my job safe?”

The partner smiled at that. It was much easier telling somebody their job was secure than that they were about to get the chop.

“Nothing for you to worry about my dear,” he said with an arm round her shoulder. “I put a good word in for you at today’s meeting, and so did your old boss.”

Diane raised an eyebrow. “Sandra Elwood put in a good word for me?”

“Indeed, she was positively glowing in her praise. To be honest, I can understand it too. You’re an asset to my department, and I bet she’s peeved she lost you in the first place.”

“No doubt,” mused Diane.

“She’s alright, is Sandra, really,” continued George. “A little too much make-up and lip gloss for me, but her heart’s always been in the right place.”

“Yeah she was a good boss,” lied Diane.

“I remember back when she was just an office junior.” 

“Yeah, Sandra’s done well for herself.”

“Indeed, she was always ambitious. You know a little ambition is good Diane &#8211; you should look at promotion…”

“I’ll keep my eye out on the job board.”

Well that was a turnaround! The Elwood had helped save her job. Doubtless it had something to do with their little chat at the wedding. Still, it was nice to be on the good side of office politics for once. Diane had also thought about the conversation she overheard between The Elwood and her husband. Seemingly they really needed Sandra’s salary. 

_“I suppose I did set her up to get into some serious trouble, so maybe I brought it on myself just a bit?”_ she said to herself.

Diane took hold of a coffee cup and concluded that it was better to stay on the good side of Sandra Elwood.

By mid afternoon Business Barbie was almost literally asleep. Gazing at her computer screen, the figures had become blurred and her eyes were almost closing. More than once she’d had to pinch herself just to stay awake.

Eventually she’d given up on the spreadsheet and headed out of the office. She needed a break. Her heels click-clacked down the corridors, but for once Sandra was just too tired to notice the longing gazes. Walking into the canteen, she grabbed a Starbucks cup and keyed the &#8216;Double Americano’ button. Normally the uber vain hottie avoided coffee because it stained her teeth. However, at that point she just needed the caffeine boost. On her way over to the counter she grabbed a King-sized Mars bar. The hung over director needed a sugar boost too.

“You look tired,” stated the girl at the till.

“Uh-huh.” 

She headed back across the canteen and plopped her butt down in the corner. Greedily, she unwrapped the Mars bar and tucked into the coffee. Slowly the sugar and caffeine started to take effect.

Seated at the other side of the canteen, the three legal secretaries observed with interest. They’d watched The Elwood strut in as usual and ignore them. That was normal &#8211; as a director Sandra saw herself as a cut above the rank and file. They’d also seen her fill up on coffee and purchase the largest chocolate bar she could find. 

“She looks a little worse for wear,” whispered one.

“Yeah, she’s got bags under her eyes.”

“I’m not surprised,” said Diane. “She was at that wedding I was at, and you wouldn’t believe how much she drank.”

“Sandra does like her wine; do you remember the Christmas party?”

The three laughed at the memory of the firm’s Customer Excellence Director getting blindingly drunk at the party. She really did love her wine, but couldn’t quite handle it.

“Remember her dancing with James Simmons?”

“Oh yeah, the bump and grind!”

“At the wedding she drank so much,” laughed Diane, “that she fell over, banged her head, and that husband of hers had to carry her out. So I guess she’s a bit hung over.”

“That poor guy! I don’t imagine Sandra Elwood is exactly feather light!”

“And she doesn’t even use her marriage name. Kevin’s name is Liddell, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but Sandra’s been married that many times that…”

“…I hear you &#8211; she probably has difficulty remembering who she’s married to this week!”

“Hee-hee! Especially when she’s sozzled!”

“Look at that Mars bar she’s stuffing herself with too! I just can’t imagine how she keeps that figure.”

Diane smiled at that. She remembered what she’d seen through the key hole, and she knew exactly how the office glamour queen maintained her figure. Underneath her sexy little business suit she was no doubt squeezed into another of her figure shaping spandex slips. 

“I think she might have a little Lycra help there,” whispered Diane. “Let’s just say when she fell over I got a glimpse.”

The other two gasped. “Ooo like those you see on Trinny & Susannah?”

“Yep.”

“Well there’s a turn up! And her swanning around here like God’s gift all day! I bet all the guys think she’s more the lacy thong type. Bet she thinks they think of her that way too.”

The three looked at the seated executive. She did look spectacular, though; curvy yet firm. It was somehow comforting to know those curves might not be quite so firm underneath.

“I might get me a pair,” whispered one.

“Yeah, Sandra looks great”

“Well I could look just as great wearing bloody miracle knickers!”

“Oh now you’re pushing it, Stella. Sandra always looks great.”

“I suppose. And her husband is so cute.”

“Yeah, he’s gorgeous.”

Diane sighed. Whatever she did she couldn’t win. Sandra Elwood was the office glamour girl, and that wasn’t going to change. If all the secretaries found out she wore shape wear, they’d be off to the Lakeside outlets in a flash to copy. 

As the three got up to return to their desks, Diane glanced back over at Business Barbie. She was sitting alone and really did look under the weather. Her face was buried in her hands and the Mars bar was almost finished. Not only hung over, but sexy Sandra looked stressed too.

“I’ve just got to have a word with The Elwood,” explained Diane as she headed across. 

The other women walked out of the canteen as Diane stepped forward.

“Um…hello Sandra, you got a minute?”

“Hi Diane!” Sandra responded with as much energy as she could muster.

Diane sat down opposite the blonde and prepared her speech. It was going to feel funny thanking Sandra Elwood for something.

“I was talking with George Elliot, and he told me about what you said in the meeting. About me being an asset to the firm.” 

She paused. “So I suppose I want to say thanks.”

That comment earned Diane the picture perfect smile.“My pleasure, Diane sweetie.”

There was a silence as Sandra thought of the best way forward. She remembered what Diane had said about her affair and the Sleep Inn. In fact she’d fretted about it all Sunday, and was terrified at the prospect of it blowing up. The fallout from her first divorce had been almost crushing, and she couldn’t bear the idea of a second. _ “How could I explain that to my kids?”_

“Um…at the wedding, Diane, you said some things that, you know, kinda scared me a bit…”

“Oh?”

Sandra gulped at her coffee and took a final bite of her Mars bar. She leaned closer and whispered: “Things about my personal life…”

“I panicked,” explained Diane. “You were about to tell your husband about me…you know…”

“…Pushing me over?”

“Yep, so I panicked.”

Another silence ensued from that. Instinctively the blonde ran a manicured finger around the bump on her head. It still hurt.

“My head still hurts,” she pouted. “But I kinda understand, and I guess I probably deserved it. I can be a bit of a bitch sometimes, you know, Diane?”

Diane smiled at that. “Believe me I know. I’ve experienced it.”

“I guess you have!” laughed Business Barbie. “Please don’t spread any rumors about me. You have no idea how horrible it was: Leon divorcing me and everybody laughing at me. I nearly had a nervous breakdown back then, and I can’t cope with a second…”

“I didn’t know…”

Blondie tugged on her extensions. “It was very embarrassing for me…” 

Soothingly Diane reached across and took the slightly shaky blonde’s hand. Doubtless Sandra had eaten a lot of humble pie the year of her divorce.

“My lips are sealed.”

“Thanks.”

With a cheeky smile, Diane couldn’t stop herself asking. “So what’s James like in bed?”

“None of your business you nosy bitch!” snapped Sandra. 

The wide eyed blonde performance was suddenly replaced by the confident executive. She rose from her chair.

“You should be getting back to work, Diane!”

There was a rapid echoing of spiked heels as she disappeared out of the canteen. Although Diane couldn’t see it, Sandra was blushing furiously. The idea that Diane Armstrong knew about her affair was humiliating. That feeling, however, was mixed with relief. Sandra could live with just Diane knowing. But if the rest of the office found out…

Still sitting, Diane shook her head - there was obviously a line and that was it. She wasn’t making friends with The Elwood, but a truce of sorts had been declared. Still, things would work out better for both with the battle lines drawn.

At the doorway Sandra paused and shouted. “Hey Diane!”

“What?”

“Thanks babes!”

“Bugger off, yer silly sausage!”

“Same to you, silly mare!”

Sandra winked and wiggled away. Her head was still beating like a drum, but she felt safe. Diane could keep a secret. “Mmm…maybe she needs a small promotion, just to be sure…I’ll have a word with Jenny…”

*Epilogue*

Over the coming weeks proceedings at the offices of Cawthorne’s Solicitors continued as normal. The four redundancies went ahead as planned &#8211; Diane was relieved to have been spared. She was surprised when Jenny Preston invited her to apply for a new Team Leader role. 

After a brief conversation with The Elwood, she wasn’t surprised when Jenny duly offered her the position. For the first time in her career, Diane felt like she was playing the game and winning.

James Simmons landed a major contract as a result of his trip to London, and was snowed under with work. Every day the managing partner arrived in the office for seven and left at eleven. That was the downside of being the boss. With such a workload, he enjoyed checking out the office hotty, but couldn’t muster the energy to follow up on it. Suddenly his wife’s home cooking was far more appealing than office flings.

All this was a relief to Sandra. Recurring memories of her previous divorce scared her off any more extra-marital affairs, so she steered well clear of her boss. Besides, her own husband’s business was picking back up, and he splurged on a long weekend skiing holiday for the family. 

Sitting on a ski lift in Salzburg, Austria, she turned to her husband and gushed:

“This holiday is awesome Kev!”

“It’s pretty good.”

His blonde babe wife placed a kiss on his cheek. Her lips were cold, and he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close. Sandra thought for a moment, then asked the question that had been bugging her for five years.

“Kev…?”

“What?”

“Why did you marry me?”

He smiled and checked her out - it was a serious question. She looked as cute as a button in her pink pom pom hat and matching aerodynamically tight pink ski outfit.

“I suppose I just sort of felt guilty.”

Sandra frowned.

“What do yer mean?”

With a wry smile across his face he continued:

“Well, seeing as it was me who got you divorced, I couldn’t just leave you could I? That just wouldn’t have been cricket. Besides, you’re a blinding good bit of tits and ass. All my mates are jealous.”

She playfully slapped him.

“Oh, so you married me to make your mates jealous?”

“Yep.”

“So you never loved me?”

“Nah…although I suppose you’ve grown on me over the years.”

Blondie frowned and checked out her husband. Was he being serious? He winked at her and answered the question:

“For goodness sake, Sandra, stop being stupid, and give me a proper kiss.”

Sandra planted a big kiss on her man’s lips. Responding, Kev probed his tongue between her plump lips and snaked it around, at the same time reaching over and squeezing her curvy pink Lycra panted rump. Sandra responded with her tongue, entwining it around Kev’s and expressing love and lust without saying a word. She wrapped her arms around her husband, and they hugged close.

“Does that answer you question?” he asked.

“Yep it does” she giggled. “Love you loads Kev!”.

“Me too.” 

THE END!


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## Tad (Jan 16, 2009)

These stories are the best brain candy on a Friday afternoon


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