# SSBBW in the Workplace



## FatAndProud (Jun 23, 2008)

I thought about making this in the 'Supersize Issues' thread but I thought against it...The reason being is because I need pretty much everyone's opinion because it's bothering me.

Recently, I've been busy getting my things together; school, a job, and charity work. I feel I work so hard to be something good, but then there's the haters. The haters that always bring me down from my cloud 9! I try to ignore them but man, is it hard sometimes! 

I was taking my grandparents to the Urologist (my grandpa is having bladder problems after his surgery a couple of days ago....he's 86. we're all worried..) and this woman (older...late 70's, early 80's) was talking to my grandparents in the waiting room. I was sitting further away from my grandparents because I was just reading a magazine. This older woman must've thought I was separate from them...ANYWAYS, my grandpa went into the Dr. and I was waiting for my grandma to come back, so I sat down again. The woman said to her husband, IN A LOUD OUTDOOR VOICE, "God, how much do you think _that one_ over there weighs? I cannot imagine Jimmy Simmons (or something, I have no clue who that is) at 450lbs!" And I looked at her......ignored it. Then I saw my grandma walking toward me...and then the woman said, "Oh! I bet she's nothing more than 70lbs! I'm a healthy 106lbs!" and that's when I lost it. I said to the woman, "Ma'am if you're going to talk ignorant about people, please do it so I don't have to hear it. Thanks." and that's when she became mega bitch and I walked out. I would've said worse, but I don't cuss in front of my Grandma!!!! lol

Ok, and now...Onto what is really bugging me....I recently started a job working in Dietary at a nursing home. It's hard work. Not gonna lie. I know this. My weight does affect my performance. Ok, whatever. But recently, someone saw me use my foot to get one of these trays (like a lunch tray) off of a cart.... because it's difficult to bend over and get it...they told my boss about it...and my boss asked me if I wanted a back brace? Fuck no I don't. I just know what I can and cannot do. I've been fat all my life. I mean, gosh. I know I shouldn't put my foot on the tray...but I was cleaning it...that's why I was grabbing the tray...and I clean the cart. So what's the big deal? Plus, I hate getting uniforms. I'm fat. scrubs + fat girl = hell.

Guys, I'm sad right now


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## Chaser_of_Lemmings (Jun 23, 2008)

I don't pity you (seeing as I find pity to be insulting) but I do understand from an outside perspective. My girlfriend isn't huge, and admittedly, she's lucky enough to be both in a circle of very accepting friends and boast a body shape that's typically described as "curvy", but at 210lbs and a 5'2" frame, her fatness is undeniable. Her troubles have been described to me thusly:

"When you're fat, people associate 90% of the things you do because you're fat, regardless of their nature. If I'm in a bad mood, people think it's because I'm the "fat bitch" stereotype who's mad about her weight; it has nothing to do with me having a bad day like skinny people. If I'm sweaty, it's because I'm a lazy, fat cow, not because I just ran two miles around the neighborhood in summer heat.

On top of that, when I perform an action that IS related to my weight, i.e. sitting on a suitcase or bumping a jammed door shut with my huge butt, it becomes stigma. If you're a skinny person reaching between a car seat for loose change, and your stick-like arms help you get it, no one bombards you with comments of "oh, my, what a skinny girl. How much do you weigh?" etc. If I dare throw my weight around, it turns into either mockery or a pity party; either way, there is drama. A fat girl doing anything weight-related has to be called out and hung on a social cross, if just to reinforce the mindset that she is fat and therefore she is different, and that her peers will always see her weight before they look at her."

Sorry for the length, but I'm just wondering if you sometimes come into contact with similar troubles. Oddly enough, my girlfriend is coming to Dimensions Forums soon to accompany me (I'm new), partially to look for such similarities in other people. Hope this is something you can relate to.


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## StarScream! (Jun 24, 2008)

I'm a guy, but I will weigh in on this topic. I have worked in management at most of my jobs, and have heard and had to deal with some crazy stupid things.

I've heard people in upper management blame mistakes on someone being fat; I've seen people perfectly qualified for a job get turned down over more fit, less qualified applicants, and Ive heard and seen horrible remarks and gestures in private over someones weight. 

I hired in to every job at a pretty much entry level position, and just busted my ass to move up and prove myself. However, at one of my last jobs, I had worked there for 2 and half years and I got an infection in my leg and was hospitalized for pretty much a month and a half. After that things where different, and they totally blamed my weight for being the reason I had gotten ill. When I actually got the infection because I had gotten attacked by bugs mowing my yard which had left me with a couple of open sores, and the next night I fell in the mosh pit at a Shinedown concert. By the time I got home my leg was in trouble. Of course it had nothing to do with my weight.

Anyways, the woman who was CEO of my company told me that she would give me a paid hour per day to work out in the company gym. I know she was just trying to help, in her skinny, arrogant, condescending way. But what the hell, I cancelled my Pure Fitness membership, and just started working out there. Screw em

One last thing. I do believe that the work world looks down on overweight women, more then overweight men. Fat guys are often seen as lazy, and antisocial, yet nerdy, and normally intelligent. Where as it seems they just think overweight girls are lazy, dumb, and even a little mental. Its disgusting, but unfortunately Ive seen it as a manager in 4 different work environments.

On a lighter note: scrubs + fat girl = :smitten:


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## SSBBW Shelly (Jun 24, 2008)

Hey all, I was skimming through the threads and found this one. It speaks near and dear to my heart because my first boss was like that woman. He has no problems telling me that i was overweight, and even went so far as to send me to the kitchen (i worked at DQ) because i was "not appealing to the eye." Now, mind you, I was 16 at the time. My weight was hovering somewhere around 200lbs (its almost 400 now). I finally told his wife after one of his little tirades, "You have to deal with him, I don't. I quit." The thing is, its not about your weight or mine. Theres an asshole in every crowd. Don't let these folks stink up your life.


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## FatAndProud (Jun 24, 2008)

Thanks y'all. I'm just hoping when I get out of school and do what I want to do for a living....that things'll be different....I hope!


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## Ashlynne (Jun 24, 2008)

FatAndProud said:


> Ok, and now...Onto what is really bugging me....I recently started a job working in Dietary at a nursing home. It's hard work. Not gonna lie. I know this. My weight does affect my performance. Ok, whatever.



I was just wondering ... does your weight really affect your performance? Are there parts of the job you are really unable to do because of your weight? Or do you just perform your duties in a _different manner_ than most?

If you were unable to do your job, the boss would have reason to criticize you. Perhaps, though, you just are more creative in the methods you use to get your job done?


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## moore2me (Jun 24, 2008)

FatAndProud said:


> I thought about making this in the 'Supersize Issues' thread but I thought against it...The reason being is because I need pretty much everyone's opinion because it's bothering me.
> 
> Recently, I've been busy getting my things together; school, a job, and charity work. I feel I work so hard to be something good, but then there's the haters. The haters that always bring me down from my cloud 9! I try to ignore them but man, is it hard sometimes!
> 
> ...



*Here's my thoughts on the incidents you described:*
1) The fat bashing biddy in the urologist's waiting room - since you did not want to say anything in front of your grandma, you were right to just leave. *You are a good granddaughter to respect your family so much - she should be proud of you for having so much control.**

2) In your work at the nursing home, I have two observations.*
A)Nursing homes have people with dementia and alzheimer's as you well know. When folks have these brain disorders, they often have marked changes in their personalities. Be aware that some of the residents (not all) may very well make caustic comments about your weight. It is their disease talking - they are not in their real minds. They cannot control what they say and probably won't remember it a few hours later.

B)About your picking up the trays with your foot. Nursing homes are constantly fighting a nasty battles with staph infections. A really nifty place to pick up staph bacteria is on the floor (where your feet are) - I'm sure you know this. And a great way to pass staph on to patients is to introduce the bacteria onto their personal food trays or onto their personal hygiene bed trays used for wound and bandage changes, etc. Your co-worker was right in flipping out about you using your foot. If a health regulating authority caught someone doing that, the same reaction probably would have happened, plus a fine. It's a matter of life or death for some of the older patients who would die (or will die) from staph infections.

I do sympathize with you in your back pain tho. I have back trouble too, and it is vexing. Some things that have helped me are exercising the muscles in the back, sleeping with a pillow under my legs, pain relieving over the counter medication + anti-inflamatories, and using my upper body strength (arms) instead of my legs. Also, I keep a straight chair nearby to sit in or use for support when I need to if my back starts to hurt. 

I have a question. Does the bottom of the lunch tray cart have to be used? How about not putting tray in the last two racks? This would not just help you, but would also help the nurses aids and the nurses out on the floor. I'm sure they have back problems too and would welcome any job modification that would give them some relief. Using a couple of extra tray carts is a whole lot cheaper than paying for a couple of back injuries to employees via. worker's compensation.

Another idea: Or could you sit in a chair in the kitchen and move the bottom trays to a higher rack.


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## FatAndProud (Jun 24, 2008)

Ashlynne said:


> I was just wondering ... does your weight really affect your performance? Are there parts of the job you are really unable to do because of your weight? Or do you just perform your duties in a _different manner_ than most?
> 
> If you were unable to do your job, the boss would have reason to criticize you. Perhaps, though, you just are more creative in the methods you use to get your job done?



I guess you could say I do things differently. I'm not huffing and puffing doing the job, I just know my limits! Like I have to set things out completely because it's hard to move in the tiny space we're allowed. I am able to do my job completely. Every complaint that was made about me had NOTHING to do with my work. It's always something stupid. I get my job done and I get it done well.


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## Tooz (Jun 24, 2008)

I find that, sometimes, older women (like, older older women) will say some...interesting things. Weekend before last, my mom and I went downtown to an art festival. My mom has an autoimmune that affects her hip, so sometimes she just has to sit down for a second. For the record, my mom is maybe 40-50 pounds smaller than me, I think. I don't know, she's not open about weight issues. Anyway, there was a thin old woman in the front of this antiques shop, sitting in a chair. She was dressed in a pretty glamorous fashion. She was nice enough, too. There was a white plastic lawn chair next to her-- the kind they sell at Wal*Mart for like 6.88 that are kinda rickety. Anyway, my mom asked if the chair was free, and if she could sit there. The woman looks her up and down, and says in a sort of tut-tut tone, "I don't know honey, can you?" It was very clear she thought my mother would break the chair. My mom just was like, "yeah, I can :|" and sat with no problem. The woman said something else that I can't remember, but neither of the things she said were directly insulting. The backhanded nature of them seemed almost more bothersome to me.

I didn't say anything, even though I was standing right there. When older people say things like that, I generally let it slide. Sometimes, it doesn't matter WHAT it is. They'll pick whatever stands out about you and scrutinize it. This, of course, does not stand true for all, or even most, older people.

Still burned me up, though. Sorry you had to deal with crap like that.


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## FatAndProud (Jun 24, 2008)

moore2me said:


> *Here's my thoughts on the incidents you described:*
> 1) The fat bashing biddy in the urologist's waiting room - since you did not want to say anything in front of your grandma, you were right to just leave. *You are a good granddaughter to respect your family so much - she should be proud of you for having so much control.** Thanks
> 
> 2) In your work at the nursing home, I have two observations.*
> ...



Thank you for your post


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## moore2me (Jun 24, 2008)

Dear Fat and Proud,

A couple of more observations about the food tray cart.
1) How about a tool that you could use to reach out and pull trays toward you or push them toward the edge? Something simple like an elongated hook. It could even be stainless steel so it could go thru the dishwasher. (You could use an industrial stirring spoon and bend it into the shape you need.)

2) Do the tray cart have a brake so that when you are trying to wrestle trays out of them, the cart does not move? It would be easier on your back if the cart was immobile. Either set the brakes or if no brakes, make some little wheel chocks to keep it from moving. See pictures below. (Just made from little wooden blocks.) 

View attachment tray cart.JPG


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## Amatrix (Jul 2, 2008)

that sucks. i am sorry your boss treated you like that....
my similar story....
i started working at Walmart, like 3 weeks ago.

I do ICS which is supposed to be Inventory Control Specialist. I was supposed to be taking things out of moving bins, which are like huge stacks of stuff on these motorized tracks, then placing it on a smaller cart and putting it out for people to buy. 

I had on my application I had been a cashier for about 6 years, all my life actually.so to go from that... to something else was a bit of a change.

At the interview you are asked "can you preform all the work that is issued to you?" and all i said back was " i dont know what work with be issued to me...tell me more about the job." then i got the same reply..."you will learn more about it once you get on, but basically you stock shelves." When I was starting my first day I noticed no one as big as me in the back room and kinda let it go.
I am 5' 7" tall and approximately 380 pounds.

my first issue is that *ALL* the ladders we are supposed to use are meant for 200 pounds including the items you are carrying of course.
I am just about double that...
SO I team up with another girl who ends up being afraid of ladders...:doh:
So I can no get into my bins. I can not get items off the top shelf for people, or to do price changes. I can not lift heavy things into the bins for inventory check ups.

I also end up doing truck, which is throwing freight all the time. The truck team tends to be younger males, with one other girl there besides me.They *ALL* ignore me... especially when I get the furniture. All the furniture says "Team Lift" the average furniture package is about 90 pounds, and i on average have to deal with over 150 separate furniture packages.

None of the back braces fit me... I tried."You can order one... if you need to." is the response I got.

Then I get yelled at by management, because my khaki pants are more of a cotton weave. I also am made fun of because I dont own jeans. I wear the cotton khaki because it breaths better then real khaki which I honestly have not found in my size, same with the jeans.

I do the outside sales every weekend too, taking and moving all 10 racks of clothes/toys/etc. All by my self.

I work twice as hard as anyone else there. I honestly feel this way.A few people have seen it, caught on.

What embarrasses me, is one specific manager always asks me to get into the bins, with the ladder and pull different things for him. Even after I have had this conversation about how there is a weight limit in the ladder more then 5 times, he feels the need to go over the radio and tell everyone in the whole store who works there that I need help, "because she cant use the ladders."

The whispers, and taunting gets to me.I am glad I put in for a cashier... I will make more money and not have to deal with stupid people.

Also the last time i went to the doctor she *DID NOT* even make eye contact with me or even use my name... just said "you..." or "she" to my mom when I stopped talking to her all together.
what made me walk out of her office though was the fact that i had to lose weight, because I was clearly unhappy.
I went in with a swollen throat, and a fever that I had for over a week.
She gave me a prescription for some weight loss drug.
Did not even address my main concerns.

people are rude sometimes. I love it  when someone yells from a car something about being fat... and then laugh as they drive off being twits. it makes me laugh because, well... duh.:doh: 

i never try to make my weight an issue, but like with the ladders im not going to be put into danger... and just because im big doesnt mean im super strong. and just because im fat doesnt mean i dont work.
i try.
thats my moto.
try to forget, try to work harder, try to be better.

you got a bum rap though. really... you were cleaning the trays, and even the cart.im glad your sticking up for yourself.
:happy:


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## chubby_austrian_gal (Jul 3, 2008)

Amatrix said:


> that sucks. i am sorry your boss treated you like that....
> my similar story....
> i started working at Walmart, like 3 weeks ago.
> 
> ...




oh my god, that really makes me speechless...
how can people be such assholes?


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## Amatrix (Jul 3, 2008)

chubby_austrian_gal said:


> oh my god, that really makes me speechless...
> how can people be such assholes?



i honestly dont know.

but i wanted to thank everyone for the pms and reps and stuff.i will get back asap!
makes me feel like im not a loser, and i am worthy of some respect.

i tend to let people step on me in the workplace, and im working on it.

thanks everyone for your support.
:bow::happy:


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## op user (Jul 6, 2008)

Amatrix,

I feel for you. The problem that comes often in a workplace is that people only need to point out that a co-worker is somewhat less good than them to feel they are better. They point other people mistakes and the think they are much better.

To stay in the subject it is ridiculous to ignore safety limits like they do with you and the steps. 

I am glad you move post.

op user

Ps. Great pics on the swimsuit thread.


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## Amatrix (Jul 6, 2008)

op user said:


> Amatrix,
> 
> I feel for you. The problem that comes often in a workplace is that people only need to point out that a co-worker is somewhat less good than them to feel they are better. They point other people mistakes and the think they are much better.
> 
> ...



thanks for the comments and advice. and liking the suit.

i was just trying to make the OP see that she isnt alone. might not be the same circumstances, but we are both hard working women who know and understand out limits, just as i recognize they are different limits.

but... we shouldnt be treated any less then anyone else.


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## TallFatSue (Jul 6, 2008)

Lately I've been verrrry bitchy, but if I can get through July in one piece I might return to my old friendly wise ass self. My poor dear hubby Art has been afraid to be around me, and I withdrew from my various online forums after I caught myself snapping at people. 

I'm an office manager, and I do enjoy my job because most of the people I work with are great. May was a fabulous month. Then about mid-June my workplace went to hell in a handbasket. My boss went on medical leave for 6 weeks, and his temporary replacement is being a royal jerk and making everyone's lives miserable. Methinx he's a 30-something trying to make a name for himself in the worst way (his wife's sister's father-in-law (?) is one of our company bigwigs). To show that he's the boss now, he criticizes everyone for the least little thing, or otherwise tries to keep people off balance. For example: 2 male members of my staff were headed toward the washroom, and His Royal Jerkiness asked them with a sneer, "Need to hold each others' hands, do we?" :doh:

Well, His Royal Jerkiness is also making an issue out of my size. He's tossed out pointed comments about certain people needing to "pull their weight" and certain departments needing to "cut the fat". He looked me straight in the eye while saying that, but later claimed he wasn't singling me out. Then he began to offer suggestions about what I should and should not eat, as well as some weight loss advice. 

His Royal Jerkiness has been temporary king of the department for only 2 weeks, but last Thursday he definitely went too far (thank goodness Friday was a holiday). I'm not the most graceful woman when I get out of certain chairs. I need to get my center of balance over my feet, and sometimes I also need to grab the armrests and give myself the old heave-ho. This is probably compounded because after 5 or 6 years of my weight holding steady at 450lb, this year I've gradually crept up to 480lb. Last Thursday he watched me haul myself out of a chair and quipped, "Need a crane, do we?" I probably shouldn't have said it, but I shot back, "Only if it has a wrecking ball with your name on it." 

My regular boss has to stay off his feet for 6 weeks (2 down, 4 more weeks to go), but several of us may volunteer to carry him around the office in a sedan chair if it will get His Royal Jerkiness off our backs sooner. Some of my coworkers want to quit, but I try to persuade them not to apply a permanent solution to a temporary problem.


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## Amatrix (Jul 8, 2008)

TallFatSue said:


> To show that he's the boss now, he criticizes everyone for the least little thing, or otherwise tries to keep people off balance. For example: 2 male members of my staff were headed toward the washroom, and His Royal Jerkiness asked them with a sneer, "Need to hold each others' hands, do we?" :doh:
> 
> Well, His Royal Jerkiness is also making an issue out of my size. He's tossed out pointed comments about certain people needing to "pull their weight" and certain departments needing to "cut the fat". He looked me straight in the eye while saying that, but later claimed he wasn't singling me out. Then he began to offer suggestions about what I should and should not eat, as well as some weight loss advice.
> 
> His Royal Jerkiness has been temporary king of the department for only 2 weeks, but last Thursday he definitely went too far (thank goodness Friday was a holiday). I'm not the most graceful woman when I get out of certain chairs. I need to get my center of balance over my feet, and sometimes I also need to grab the armrests and give myself the old heave-ho. This is probably compounded because after 5 or 6 years of my weight holding steady at 450lb, this year I've gradually crept up to 480lb. Last Thursday he watched me haul myself out of a chair and quipped, "Need a crane, do we?" I probably shouldn't have said it, but I shot back, "Only if it has a wrecking ball with your name on it."



that is really terrible.
 i was so mad i had to seriously go yell outside at no one.
i seriously want to cut his balls off and fry them in some hot oil....
anyways-
welcome back.

what you really need a crane for is his inflated ego. 

i hope you can survive until your boss comes back.

file a law suit.for real. sue him for discrimination.


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## FatAndProud (Jul 8, 2008)

oh heck no. i will be damned if i get RUDE weight comments from someone. i got called a fat-ass from my previous employer. i looked her straight in the face and said, "takes one to know one." and i walked out that day. i didn't get fired. but i had every reason to walk out..

i may be fat, but i still am human! Who'da thunk it?!


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## TallFatSue (Jul 11, 2008)

Amatrix said:


> file a law suit.for real. sue him for discrimination.


Nahhhh. Just because my first name is "Sue" doesn't mean my middle name is "Litigation" because the "remedy" often becomes worse than the "problem." On the other hand, I do believe in karma. My faith has been justified. 

I was on a business trip for a couple days. This morning one of our big muckymucks stopped by to chat, because apparently there was a minor mutiny while I was away. There has been a flood of last-minute vacation requests, and the common denominator was they came from people directly associated with His Royal Jerkiness. To make a long story short, King Jerk has been re-assigned, and now *I* will fill in for my boss for a few weeks, and my assistant will fill in for me. Oh. Swell. In actuality the 2 of us will probably cover the 3 jobs together until my boss comes back from medical leave, but many people regularly take vacations in July anyway, so the workload should be okay. 

What a goofy week! Last May I was in Philadelphia with some of our sales and PR people to try to nail down a contract which ultimately went to one of our competitors. It was a shame to lose that client, but we're having a busy year, and we might not have had enough capacity anyway. This week that same client awarded some minor overflow work to us as the second-place bidders, so our lead salesman went to Philadelphia to iron out the details, and that client wanted me there too. Officially I was there as office manager to work out our staffing, but unofficially methinx our clients wanted me there as our resident straight talker. 

Wednesday and Thursday we ate lunch in downtown Philadelphia, once at City Tavern and I think the other restaurant was called The Fork. Last May I suspected one of our client's bigwigs was an FA, and now I'm positive. My colleague wanted to meet a friend downtown for dinner, so Mr. Bigwig suggested he and his wife take me to the Riverview Inn in nearby Pennsville, New Jersey for the all-you-can-eat seafood buffet they have every Wednesday evening. Apparently they've been there several times before, and the server asked if I was his wife's sister. His wife is almost as fat as I am, and he encouraged both of us to enjoy the buffet. Mr. Bigwig obviously knew how to pamper very fat women, and his wife and I were so blissfully bloated we could hardly move. We sat and watched the sun set over the Delaware River to let our über-caloric buzzes ease off somewhat before he eased us back into his nice roomy car. On the way back, we crossed the bridge into Delaware and he drove us to the Washington Street Ale House in Wilmington for after-dinner drinks and some extra desserts. Needless to say, a handsome 50-something man with 2 enormous women got more than a few stares, especially because his wife and I both wore light summer clothes with bare arms and legs. It was after midnight when I finally got back to my hotel. :eat2:

Well, to help smoothe ruffled feathers in the wake of King Jerk, we're having sub sandwiches catered into the office for lunch today, so I'd better go lend a helping hand.


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Jul 11, 2008)

TallFatSue said:


> Nahhhh. Just because my first name is "Sue" doesn't mean my middle name is "Litigation" because the "remedy" often becomes worse than the "problem." On the other hand, I do believe in karma. My faith has been justified.
> 
> I was on a business trip for a couple days. This morning one of our big muckymucks stopped by to chat, because apparently there was a minor mutiny while I was away. There has been a flood of last-minute vacation requests, and the common denominator was they came from people directly associated with His Royal Jerkiness. To make a long story short, King Jerk has been re-assigned, and now *I* will fill in for my boss for a few weeks, and my assistant will fill in for me. Oh. Swell. In actuality the 2 of us will probably cover the 3 jobs together until my boss comes back from medical leave, but many people regularly take vacations in July anyway, so the workload should be okay.
> 
> ...



I'm happy that your company reassigned King Jerk. Nobody should have to go through what he did to you.


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## tjw1971 (Jul 11, 2008)

Unlike a lot of people, I'm not one of those "out and out Wal-Mart haters". I really don't care that they built one around here that was supposedly on land that was "once an Indian burial ground", so they're "pure evil" ... or the people who cry incessantly about their low wages. (They never pointed a gun to anyone's head that I know of, and FORCED them to accept a job with them. The pay scale was also, presumably, mentioned at least once before they were hired.)

Still, it's also clear that store managers get away with a LOT of nonsense and bad decision-making in that chain.

Why would you ever use those garbage 200lb. weight-limit ladders for your employees stocking shelves, for one thing? With all the injuries suffered each year from people falling off ladders anyway, it's clearly an item where you don't want to cut corners.

I imagine more often than not, an employee using one of those things exceeds the rated limit by at least a little bit, every time they carry something medium to larger-sized to put on a shelf.

But this is the same company that ordered an ex-g/f of mine to pour out a whole case of perfectly good glass containers of grape juice, just because the labels were mis-printed slightly on them. (She tried to get them to donate the juice to a charity that needed such things - but no. They'd have none of that! Down the drain with ALL of it, and we better not catch you taking any home, or you're fired!)




Amatrix said:


> i honestly dont know.
> 
> but i wanted to thank everyone for the pms and reps and stuff.i will get back asap!
> makes me feel like im not a loser, and i am worthy of some respect.
> ...


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## Fatgirlfan (Jul 11, 2008)

Amatrix said:


> thanks for the comments and advice. and liking the suit.
> 
> i was just trying to make the OP see that she isnt alone. might not be the same circumstances, but we are both hard working women who know and understand out limits, just as i recognize they are different limits.
> 
> but... we shouldnt be treated any less then anyone else.



Take heart, you probably won't work there for all of your working life. I hope you do get the cashier job. I don't get it! I shop at walmart and I see fat women working there all of the time, it sucks that some of the employees treat you like that.

Also I seen teen boys in car bravely spout mean remarks to big girls as they bravely race away in a car. People who do things like that are pieces of shit.


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## Amatrix (Jul 12, 2008)

TallFatSue said:


> Nahhhh. Just because my first name is "Sue" doesn't mean my middle name is "Litigation" because the "remedy" often becomes worse than the "problem." On the other hand, I do believe in karma. My faith has been justified.
> 
> I was on a business trip for a couple days. This morning one of our big muckymucks stopped by to chat, because apparently there was a minor mutiny while I was away. There has been a flood of last-minute vacation requests, and the common denominator was they came from people directly associated with His Royal Jerkiness. To make a long story short, King Jerk has been re-assigned, and now *I* will fill in for my boss for a few weeks, and my assistant will fill in for me. Oh. Swell. In actuality the 2 of us will probably cover the 3 jobs together until my boss comes back from medical leave, but many people regularly take vacations in July anyway, so the workload should be okay.
> 
> ...



lol awesome.
im glad things worked out, even if it puts more stress on you.
karma does have a very strange way of working out. 

i video taped my manager asking me to get on the ladder the other day because "no one else can carry my weight here..." and also him climbing on the racks, and using his pager to ask others to help me because i "seem to have an inability to work sometimes."

he smiled and saw me doing this- then said a suggestive remark as well.

called the hotline and asked several times what i could do to fix this situation. and was faced with the skit of "you illegally taped private happenings at walmart, so... we dont feel bad. even if it was a company violation."

asked to speak to someone higher up... and finally after a few hours was talked to and made a report. burned 2 copies, one for me and one to send in as evidence. a safety coordinator should be showing up at the store so i can deliver this tape to him by hand.
everything is now under investigation.
:happy:
either way... now i have documentation of my claims.




tjw1971 said:


> Unlike a lot of people, I'm not one of those "out and out Wal-Mart haters". I really don't care that they built one around here that was supposedly on land that was "once an Indian burial ground", so they're "pure evil" ... or the people who cry incessantly about their low wages. (They never pointed a gun to anyone's head that I know of, and FORCED them to accept a job with them. The pay scale was also, presumably, mentioned at least once before they were hired.)
> 
> Still, it's also clear that store managers get away with a LOT of nonsense and bad decision-making in that chain.
> 
> ...



i am not an out and out hater of there either... i mean there are *plenty* of jobs here, but wanted one asap. sick of looking for work- most involves working on a rig, or out in the coal mines.
i am delicate and wish to not work out there... people die from that stuff every other month.

i was kinda peeved about the ladders, and still am. like... come on. most people do weight over 180 pounds and most of the boxes or packages we do carry are over 20 pounds.

my wage isnt low, but i honestly dont think im making enough. im making 10.65 an hour- but working the jobs and picking up the slack of the people who make 12-13 an hour. yea i asked them, they are all a level above me. go figure right? i mean honestly if i had known what was all involved in my job- i wouldnt have taken it. i asked more then 3 times... and everyone repeated that i would just figure it out. and that ICS simply means inventory control. i have never worked a job like this before- my norm is cashiering, running a register, people. not things, or space for things. i figured as ICS i would be handling product- not the way its shipped or where its placed/stored.

the same thing happened to a case of cans. i normally dont deal with the grocery trucks or even items. one case of maple syrup leaked onto the cans- we claimed them and threw them away * a few were dented* instead of donating them.
dont even get me started on their "revolutionary" way of recycling.

i am constantly accused of stealing things anyways- so i started taping my receipts to things like my lunch and so forth. once i brought a lunch thinking i could just eat it and then get back to work- but someone asked me where i got it and someone else over heard this- then complained to a manager about it, who later asked me for the receipt like 4 hours later. after i had eaten and thrown it all away.:doh: because "it sounded suspicious." i was in the break room... no where near the floor. from my car straight to the lounge, and then threw it all away. plus they dont carry the dried pineapple slices i get- they are organic and from a farmers market here. so clearly i stole them...

the hard thing is looking for another job, while your exhausted from day to night shifts... and even double shifts.
i even put in for a cashier, turns out our HR likes to laugh at you when you ask questions, like to your face. and apparently no one has heard of my request to be a cashier, or someone wanting to transfer from one department to another. they dont understand why im not comfortable doing my job- when i simply cant do half of it due to equipment. they admit i push more product then others... and then give me the run around of letting me know later on...basically frustrated right now. 
about to just quit and work at a bank, or even a bar. or even as a waitress.

add to their 78% turn over rate.




Fatgirlfan said:


> Take heart, you probably won't work there for all of your working life. I hope you do get the cashier job. I don't get it! I shop at walmart and I see fat women working there all of the time, it sucks that some of the employees treat you like that.
> 
> Also I seen teen boys in car bravely spout mean remarks to big girls as they bravely race away in a car. People who do things like that are pieces of shit.



there is another woman who i adore there. she is so sweet and a reason i wanted to be a cashier. she is the only one who has listened to me and even talked to me about how to get a transfer. she works on my days off, or during the day. i have been doing night shifts, so kinda hard to run into her. she is a woman who is as big as me, and likes her job.
there are a lot of pregnant women working at mine... at least 22 of them. must be the water?

i know i wont work here forever *thank whatever powers are there*. i was just trying to make some money so i could move and go to school in a bigger city, a trade school. i thank you though, as i kinda let it get the best of me and tend to complain here alot of the time.:happy:
and i agree... its a silly petty thing to do - yelling at someone from a fast moving car really shows how brave you are. 
it still makes me laugh though.people still ask about it, and i tell them about how it just makes me wet myself.

i bet you have a better job now then a cashier at walmart.
it is just walmart.

all your posts make me feel better... thanks guys.


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## fatgirlflyin (Jul 12, 2008)

tjw1971 said:


> Unlike a lot of people, I'm not one of those "out and out Wal-Mart haters". I really don't care that they built one around here that was supposedly on land that was "once an Indian burial ground", so they're "pure evil" ... or the people who cry incessantly about their low wages. (They never pointed a gun to anyone's head that I know of, and FORCED them to accept a job with them. The pay scale was also, presumably, mentioned at least once before they were hired.)
> 
> Still, it's also clear that store managers get away with a LOT of nonsense and bad decision-making in that chain.
> 
> ...



I'd imagine that they don't donate that stuff because they could legally be held liable if someone claimed they got sick from it. I know when I was younger and worked for a restaurant chain that was the reason we didn't donate any of the left over food...


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## TallFatSue (Jul 14, 2008)

Maybe I'm just plain lucky my weight hasn't been a major problem in my career. Or maybe it's because I remembered all those public service messages when I was in high school, "If you want a good job, get a good education." My mother translated that over and over as "You're way too fat ever to find a good husband, so you'd better find a good career." Thanx, Mom!  No, really. 

So I cultivated by brain, got my university degree, began my career, and my professional skills seem to outweigh any literal and figurative baggage I carry by being 6ft tall and between 450 and 500lb. Come to think of it, my fat is probably easier to carry than the baggage other people carry if they have a problem with my size. 

An update on my current situation: His Royal Jerkiness is keeping a low profile. This morning I walked past him and tried to make eye contact, but he didn't "see" me, obviously because I'm a mere slip of a girl. 

PS. In retrospect, one irony of my university years was that several girls on my dorm floor were obviously looking for their "MRS" degree, and were almost livid when my Mr. Right fell practically into my lap. "What does that fat hippo Sue have that I don't have?" Um, a nice personality? And perhaps the ability to recognize a diamond in the rough? One or two of them tried to steal him away from me, not because they really wanted him, but because it should be "easy" to pry him away from the only fat girl he ever dated. They couldn't understand why he wasn't interested in them.


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## TallFatSue (Jul 19, 2008)

Here I am working another Saturday, and my boss should be out for only a couple more weeks. My assistant and I are covering for him, me and her; luckily both of us can handle our 3 jobs reasonably well because July is a major vacation month. His Royal Jerkiness wanted to make a name for himself in the worst way when he filled in for the first few weeks of my boss's medical leave. He sure did. In the worst way. 

It sure is interesting to hear other supersize women's workplace experiences. My experience may be unusual, but my size seems to be an asset as an office manager. Thanx to Ye Olde Double Standarde, strong-willed men are considered assertive whereas strong-willed women are usually viewed as pushy or bitchy. Heavens knows I'm strong-willed and opinionated (really Sue?? :doh, but methinx my physical size has moved me out of the pushy column and into the assertive column. My 6ft height probably helps, because managers tend to be tall, but the physical presence of my 480lb mass probably helps me motivate my staff rather than push them. Some people do belittle or underestimate me because I'm so fat, but even that sometimes helps me because it shows me their true characters without them realizing it. And of course a lifetime of obesity has helped teach me what is and is not truly important in life, and how to think creatively and independently. All in all, my size seems to bring me more good than harm on the job. A positive attitude works wonders too. Must be why my avatar is my favorite photo of myself: assertive, standing tall, best foot forward, proudly displaying my fat, and a smile.


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## TallFatSue (Aug 2, 2008)

My boss will return from his medical leave next week, and there will be much rejoicing, although he will be on light duty for a while. It's great to work in a place where at least some of the bosses are well liked and respected, and luckily my department also seems to like me. Of course the fact that my immediate predecessor was a truly impressive failure might have something to do with that. 

Anyway, here I am working one more Saturday to help square away everything, and being that I expected to be the only person here in the offices, I dressed for comfort: bare arms, bare legs, sandals, etc. and in general much greater expanses of fat free and unencumbered than usual. 

Then what to my wondering eyes should appear but His Royal Jerkiness, who showed up for some Saturday work too. Well, to make a long story short, we have agreed to a truce because he seems truly repentent for being such a jackass, although methinx it's really because his office shenanigans blew up in his face. Of course I don't trust him, but I might as well be civil. Best of all, he now knows that if he wants to succeed in this company, he damn well better kiss my big fat ass. So he offered to buy me lunch. Does he think I can be bribed that easily? No, but it's a verrrry good start, provided it's somewhere nice. So that 30-something executive wannabe and yours truly, a 50-something fat Amazon, had a pretty nice lunch together whilst burying our respective hatchets.


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## Jon Blaze (Aug 2, 2008)

I'm glad to hear how supportive everyone is being.


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## DuskyJewel (Aug 3, 2008)

TallFatSue said:


> It sure is interesting to hear other supersize women's workplace experiences. My experience may be unusual, but my size seems to be an asset as an office manager. Thanx to Ye Olde Double Standarde, strong-willed men are considered assertive whereas strong-willed women are usually viewed as pushy or bitchy. Heavens knows I'm strong-willed and opinionated (really Sue?? :doh, but methinx my physical size has moved me out of the pushy column and into the assertive column. My 6ft height probably helps, because managers tend to be tall, but the physical presence of my 480lb mass probably helps me motivate my staff rather than push them. Some people do belittle or underestimate me because I'm so fat, but even that sometimes helps me because it shows me their true characters without them realizing it. And of course a lifetime of obesity has helped teach me what is and is not truly important in life, and how to think creatively and independently. All in all, my size seems to bring me more good than harm on the job. A positive attitude works wonders too. Must be why my avatar is my favorite photo of myself: assertive, standing tall, best foot forward, proudly displaying my fat, and a smile.



I also have not found my weight to be an issue once I have landed a position. Like you, I think it has a lot to do with my education and the belief instilled in me to hold my head up. However, I think that message had more to do with my being Black than with being supersized. Interestingly enough, I have worried more about how my race has affected my career than my size. It may be the same thing with my employers. My weight is their secondary concern.

One thing I can say is that how one carries oneself can be more than half the battle and how one reacts to comments when they happen is another twenty-five percent. Of course, you can't necessarily "go off" on your boss and keep your job. However, there is a way you can directly address the comments. Even saying something as simple as "I really don't appreciate that comment" can help. If they come back with a denial of intent or whatever, just repeat the comment calmly and firmly. Don't back down and don't get pissy. Just make certain they know you heard it and will not accept that kind of behavior. Bullies pick on certain kids for the same reason lions chase after certain gazelles. Once fat-haters sense your vulnerability, they will go after you... snide comments, open comments, rude gestures, etc. They may not stop, but making it clear where you stand is an essential step to self-respect in the face of rudeness.

Anyway. 

At my current job, the issue is more about socializing. There are required social activities that bring up my mobility issues and I find myself resenting being subjected to 1) things I don't want to do anyway and 2) a relative lack of sensitivity. While my bosses have been 100% supportive, knowledgeable, and respectful on the larger size issues, it is the small stuff like executive lunches 5 blocks away or company kickball games that annoy me the most. Sometimes I want to yell, "Hello! I am fuck*** fat!":doh:


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## TallFatSue (Aug 25, 2008)

Finally it looks like my life is returning to some semblance of abby normal. Looking back on it, this has been one of my more exciting years, and it's probably why I've had a major weight gain after years of stability. Oh the sacrifices I make! 

Back in May I accompanied some of our sales and PR people to Philadelphia to help with a presentation for a potential account which ultimately went to a competitor. I didn't know why I was even involved because I'm an office manager with a big mouth who tends to tell the truth, unless they wanted me along as a straight shooter who could discuss staffing. My boss's boss told me that my presence was specifically requested by one of the Philadelphia Big Shots whom I had previously met when he visited my company. Then in July back I went to Philadelphia with one of our salesmen when that same company awarded us some overflow work. 'Twas then I suspected that certain Philly Big Shot was an FA, because his wife was as fat as I am! He seemed like the kind of businessman who's used to having his own way, so far be it from me to object when he insisted on going to some of the best restaurants around Philadelphia that week, and nearby Delaware and New Jersey too. Yum! :eat2:

The saga continues. Last week the Philadelphia Big Shot visited our offices in Toledo again to sign some documents for more ongoing work. He had been in Cleveland for business, and decided Toledo was close enough for a visit too. Well, our big company muckymucks had dollar signs in their eyes, so they gave me carte blanche to take Mr. Philly Big Shot and his wife to one of the finer restaurants in Toledo that evening, and to invite my husband along too. Far be it from me to refuse a direct order ( :eat2: ). Methinx our afore-mentioned muckymucks also have an inkling the Philly Big Shot likes fat women, but can't quite come out and say it. Probably the most interesting part about dinner that evening was another chance to chat with Mrs. Philly Big-Shot. Sounds like she stands out more than she'd like at some of their formal functions when many of the other big wheels in Philadelphia bring along their trophy wives, who are often skinny as a rail and much younger. That evening, though, she seemed very happy to be with another supersize woman about her age (I'm 6ft tall and she was probably 5ft6, but we're pretty proportional). I also decided that it must be nice to be rich. Good thing my husband was my designated driver. After a terrific steak and a power dessert, I had an ultra-caloric buzz and double vision. :eat2:

On top of all this professional excitement, for some reason I've been to many more family reunions and gatherings than usual this year. Far be it from me to object when some of my long-lost relatives insist I try their culinary specialites. As usual one of my nosy aunts asked if I was gaining even more weight. She always asks me that, but this time she turned out to be right. My clothes had been getting tighter lately. I had been stable at about 450lb since my early 40s. In fact I even joked that once I reached 450lb I could eat anything and not gain weight. No longer, it seems. When I stepped on a scale a couple months ago I was up to 480lb, and last week I was 495lb. 

I really put away the food this past weekend too. My brother's skinny little wife is a major fatphobe who usually greets everyone with air kisses, so of course whenever I see her at a family function I give her a great big enveloping hug and smother her with my fat. Well, ya could have knocked me over with a feather when she invited Art & me over for lunch on Saturday! I usually feel like a cow in a China shop when I visit them because she keeps their house immaculate like a museum, and this was no exception especially with all my newly-acquired fat to disturb the delicate balance of her perfect home. It's always fun to see the look in her eyes when I stand too close to some of her prized vases, as if my hanging belly or my big fat ass might go on a smashing rampage.  I don't know why my brother married her, and I'm still trying to figure out what she's up to, because I can't remember the last time just the 4 of us have spent a day together. What could I possibly have that she wants? Oh well, I made the most of her lunch which was positively delicious, and afterward we sat and talked while I did my best impression of a beached whale sitting back on her sofa, just to annoy her. I wore shorts, sandals and a sleeveless top so all my new fat was on full display. Can't help it, I'm downright proud of my fat, it's a beneficial force of nature that defies control and it's helped make me the woman I am today. Life is good. Later we moved out onto their deck, and I heard a very loud CRACK as I sat in one of their deck chairs. Luckily it was only the sound of the chair scraping against the wooden deck and not any actual damage, but I could see the momentary panic in my sister-in-law's eyes while she kept up a composed exterior. All in all a strange but enjoyable afternoon. 

I don't know if I'm entirely happy to gain so much weight, and it worries me that I might have health and mobility problems if I cross the big 5-uh-oh! After all, I turned 51 this year too. Circumstances this year have sure turned up my appetite for good food and lots of it, and I've had plenty of professional and personal rewards, but all this extra fat just plain slows me down physically. Much as I'd love to go on a wild shopping spree, I don't want my clothes to become so tight I need to replace my entire wardrobe. Oh well, now that things look like they might finally calm down after Labor Day, I may stabilize or possibly drift down toward my previous size. For now though, I'll pretty much go with the flow for my own sanity. 

Sue

PS. I may gradually withdraw from this and other forums for a couple months, but I won't completely disappear. Lately I've noticed some of the PMs and e-mails I receive have politically-charged signatures which are literally longer than the bodies of their messages. I've also noticed more people make not-so-passing references in their posts to the evils of this or that administration. Gadzooks! I get enough ongoing political volleys from the resident liberal and conservative conspiracy theorists in my office, who have completely ruined my appetite for politics. Of course in their case, when they go into political overdrive I can assume they don't have enough work and so I give them more assignments (it's *good* to be a boss  ), which shuts them up for an hour or so until they can't contain themselves anymore. I've heard it all again and again and again, so I'm trying to adhere to a low-politics diet until the election is over. That's about the only diet I'll ever go on.


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## Paul (Aug 25, 2008)

Will miss you Sue, but understand. I'm glad your not disappearing for good since I love your upbeat posts.

Paul.


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## TallFatSue (Aug 28, 2008)

Paul said:


> Will miss you Sue, but understand. I'm glad your not disappearing for good since I love your upbeat posts.


Awwww, thanx. To judge from some of the PMs I've received, I'm far from the only one fed up with politics.

Wow, I am soooo looking forward to Labor Day weekend. I sure need a holiday, and I had also planned to take Friday off to make it a 4-day weekend, but there were some interesting developments here at work (including a welcome respite from politics) so I'll work tomorrow after all. Methinx I enjoy my job. 

1. I've gotten flak from some of our sales people for perceived stepping on toes.  Can't say I blame them. After all, they should be dealing with our clients, not me. I was involved only because that Philadelphia Big Shot requested me. Can I help it if he likes big tall fat women? So I offered my profuse apologies for being pulled into it, and for having such big feet. To soothe hurt feelings, I took some of our sales people out to lunch today, which helped perk them up. Ya gotta make sacrifices like this in the name of company harmony, and to keep open lines of communication. Of course a big delicious lunch at company expense is nice too. :eat2: I explained that I'm making sure everything goes through channels, so any sales commissions go to the right persons. That almost made them turn cartwheels of joy, so all is forgiven. Funny thing is, I thought they wouldn't believe me when I explained that the Philly Big Shot likes fat women, but they understood completely! That led to a funny conversation about the more colorful clients we've had over the years, and some of the stranger things our sales people have done to close deals. Nothing unethical, I was assured, but still an eye opener. At least I didn't need to wear a mini-skirt! 

2. Our resident conservative conspiracy theorist is taking both today and tomorrow off, and there is much rejoicing.  Without him as a sparring partner, our resident liberal conspiracy theorist is reduced to the sound of one hand clapping, because no one will engage him. Even better, he'll take tomorrow off. Does every workplace have annoying characters like these? With both of them away, a blissfully zero-politics atmosphere will reign. That rarely happens, so I'm tempted to work tomorrow in peace and tranquility after all, and save that vacation day for later this year. 

3. My boss said the company would treat everyone to a cookout tomorrow, and also bring in cakes, pies, cookies and other goodies to celebrate very good business this summer. :eat2: Well well well, given the prospect of lotsa food and a relatively quiet workplace, and seeing that my abundant figure is an asset which must be maintained, I've decided to work tomorrow after all. I love my job. I don't know about eating banana cream pie for breakfast, though.


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