# Tales from the tailor



## MisticalMisty (Mar 26, 2010)

I had to take some pants to be hemmed today. I've been blessed with a really short inseam. So short, that petites have to be hemmed a couple of inches.

We end up at Lone Star Tailor and the proprietor is a small, older Asian lady.

We walk in and she tells me to change etc. While I'm changing she tells Rob, "You and your wife must be good cook..she is BIG." lol

Rob just agrees and I walk out and tell her he doesn't get to take any credit for this...and run my hands over my body.

As I am up on the platform, she starts telling me that I shouldn't eat after 6pm. She doesn't and she goes hungry, but she lost 20 lbs. 

Next, we move on to how if I would drink 10 glasses of water a day I would lose 100 lbs.

The funniest thought was when we mentioned we were selling our house and she said "Oh..you guys have BIIIIGGG house?" I think she thought I would need a huge house.

I was in stitches when we left. It was just so funny to me.


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## indy500tchr (Mar 27, 2010)

Misty...you are far too kind. I would have taken my business elsewhere. I don't need to be lectured by somebody who has no business doing so and why would I want to give my money to somebody who isn't respectful to their clients?


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## Dr. Feelgood (Mar 27, 2010)

The lady probably didn't mean to be disrespectful, especially if she was elderly. Although Chinese-Americans today have pretty much absorbed the majority prejudice, a previous generation saw fat as a sign of health and prosperity: I remember reading that in Hong Kong, "you are fatter" was once considered an elegant compliment! The fact that she simultaneously offered weight loss advice may be due to her noticing that virtually all American women seem to want to lose weight -- it doesn't have to mean she agrees with them.


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## MisticalMisty (Mar 27, 2010)

I didn't feel like she was being disrespectful. In fact, I actually asked Rob before going who ran it and when he told me..I pretty much expected it.

It was annoying, but I don't think she meant any harm.


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## LovelyLiz (Mar 27, 2010)

Yeah, I don't think she meant any harm either. Other cultures tend to be much more upfront about talking about weight, etc. That same thing has happened to me at Chinese/Chinese-American tailors. They just assume that if you are fat you want to lose weight. 

Usually when they start in with the diet tips I just say, "Actually, I'm fine how I am, thank you." And if they keep going, I continue to politely (and firmly) say I'm really not interested. But that's just me - often I need to feel like I owned my voice in a situation like that. But if it really wasn't a big deal, I would probably just laugh and ignore it too.


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## ashmamma84 (Mar 27, 2010)

Yep. The same has happened to me as well with my tailor. She's an older asian woman as well and she used to say..."Oh you are getting so fat!" And I would just say, "Yes I am and I love it!" That would confuse her and she'd move on to other things like my clothes. 

I did have to nip her antics in the bud after awhile just because it was getting old...plus, I visit the tailor/dry cleaner pretty often. I give her a lot of business and when I go I just don't want to be bothered with it. I want to just pick up my stuff and go.


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## Tina (Mar 28, 2010)

Ash, I adore your reaction to her. It is, of course, a pure Ash response. :wubu:

Misty, what Rob did is great. 

I wonder what she would have done had you told her that she shouldn't lose weight because she's too thin already... Not because I think that people should be told to change their body, or that it should have to do with size, but more because I like the visual or the look on her face I 'see' when I imagine you saying that to her. Probably a "does not compute" look, much like it seems that Ash's tailor had.


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## MissStacie (Apr 1, 2010)

When I took my bridesmaid dress and my wedding dress in to be altered, I took it to the best one we have in Schenectady, which is owned by Anna...a little Korean woman.

My bridesmaid went first..not a word was said. I came out and stepped onto the rise thing..and first thing out of her mouth...complete with a Home Alone horrified look(with hands on each side of her face, too!), was "Ohhhhh....so much fabric!!!!".. I just bit my tongue in half from kicking her in the mouth, and stood there while she pinned my "tons o'fabric" dress.

The thing is, the dresses came out amazing, wonderful work and she even fixed a tiny hole that *I* made in the dress while putting it on. Sometimes, you just have to be the "bigger person"....quite literally!

 Stacie


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## jewels_mystery (Apr 3, 2010)

indy500tchr said:


> Misty...you are far too kind. I would have taken my business elsewhere. I don't need to be lectured by somebody who has no business doing so and why would I want to give my money to somebody who isn't respectful to their clients?



I agree with Indy. My money speaks volumes. I should not have to pay to be insulted.


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## Fat.n.sassy (Apr 7, 2010)

I agree that people should know better than to insult their customers. However, the elderly seem used to being able to say things that other people can't get away with. :doh:


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## MisticalMisty (Apr 7, 2010)

Fat.n.sassy said:


> I agree that people should know better than to insult their customers. However, the elderly seem used to being able to say things that other people can't get away with. :doh:



I think the elderly just don't give a damn. lol

Again, I didn't feel the least bit insulted. I laughed my ass off..but that's just me.


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## LovelyLiz (Apr 8, 2010)

Fat.n.sassy said:


> I agree that people should know better than to insult their customers. However, the elderly seem used to being able to say things that other people can't get away with. :doh:



I think it's a combination of both age and culture. And honestly, while I do think it's fine to stand up for myself and tell someone I don't want to discuss my weight with them (even if they're saying/doing something that's totally fine and accepted in their culture), it also seems reasonable to cut the person some slack, and not get crazy bent out of shape, and realize they are just speaking out of a different cultural context. It doesn't mean I have to put up with it if I don't want to, but I just try to remember that even though it may be a deeply insulting thing to say in my culture, it may just be some innocuous, neutral, factual mode of conversation in theirs - and they probably mean no harm.


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## Vespertine (Apr 14, 2010)

Ooh, I have a tale too...a little different but... Once I went to a dry cleaner/tailor shop owned by an asian family, and the little daughter (probably 5ish) went UNDER MY SKIRT to look at my hips and butt. She came right up to me as soon as I walked in with this funny, kind of disapproving expression. So I smiled and said hello to her very friendly-- then turned to the woman at the register-- and the kid ducked quick under my long skirt, hands a-groping. (Times I'm very glad to wear leggings under my skirts.) The poor woman ringing me up was really embarrassed. She was shrieking at the kid 'that's very rude to the customer!' and had run around the counter to pick the kid up and haul her away, then said to me 'she just likes your pretty skirt'. LOL. Nice try on a save. 

Can't really fault a kid, curiosity got the best of her I guess, and I'm sure no one in her family looks like me--but I could never go back there.


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## choudhury (Apr 26, 2010)

Tailors seem to be funny people. My future wife was shopping for a wedding dress - those things aren't cheap, and there is major money to be made from selling one, right? But one place she went to basically insulted her when a dress didn't fit right and told her that 'you'll be losing weight for the wedding, of course.' She was humiliated. What was supposed to be a fun experience turned into a demoralizing one. Luckily, she eventually found a place that treated her with the dignity and attention that all brides deserve.

She's had another more recent experience with a local tailor when she went to have some clothes fitted. The tailor basically made some negative comments about her weight.

I can't understand the *business sense *in making clients feel bad about themselves. It either speaks to a prejudice so deep-seated that it becomes self-damaging (as when you chase away a client), or else these people feel that such a client is herslef 'bad for business.' But I can make no sense of the latter argument; who is going to say, 'man, that tailor fixes clothes for a 250-lb woman, I'm not going there!!!'?


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## SuperSizedAngie (Apr 29, 2010)

Honestly for some tailors (and especially for fashion designers,) a lot of them jsut don't know what to do with clothes made for larger ladies. They have no concept of how they're supposed to fit on us, and the techniques used to make a proper fit on a big woman are sometimes very different than a proper fit for a smaller size women. Tailors and fashion designers tend to practice more often with smaller sized people, which explains why some of them are uncomfortable when working with larger clients.


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## violet835 (May 14, 2010)

Hump! That tailor probably just didn't know how to make a perfect wedding dress for the specially endowed people like us.


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