# FA Myths thread # 1



## James (Oct 12, 2009)

*"all other FA are attracted and turned on by fat in the same way that I am"*



> *(Please read the following before posting a response)*
> 
> This is the first topic for discussion in relation to the FA board project "FA Myths and Misconceptions". The above myth was suggested for discussion by Tad and will be discussed for 2 weeks in this thread before being edited and ultimately posted to the FA Myths and Misconceptions sticky.
> 
> ...


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## Jon Blaze (Oct 12, 2009)

Oh that's a good one. 

I think the whole "Preference vs fetish" is a big subject here. I eventually evolved into thinking that FA, as a concept can exist on either level since they're extremely different.

I'm actually writing a blog right now about my perception of "Curvy" as well in regards to women of all sizes, because similar to this thread, I wanted to shed some light on people that think I think like everyone else on many levels: Whether it's because I'm man, whether it's because I'm an FA, and so on... I don't know if I should post it here because it's probably going to be really long. lol


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## Jon Blaze (Oct 12, 2009)

Another comment:

I remember hearing a comment on Curvage where one of the posters said that he was attracted to gaining and not fat, and then I just thought to myself I'm not technically in either of those groups in themselves. Just thought it was interesting. lol


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## Webmaster (Oct 12, 2009)

I think there are two separate issues. 

The first one is the attraction to fat and fatness. There, I have found a very remarkable similarity of experience, desires and fantasies in FAs. When I was exploring my FA-ness, I often thought no one else could possibly feel the same way I do and thrill over the same fantasies, and then I'd find that other FAs had gone through the exact same experience, almost as if we were all running the same program. So I do believe there are some basic similarities in the way FAs experience their attraction and the power fat holds over us.

The second is our individual preferences. Those can be quite varied and there are definitely those who prefer pears, apples, hourglass or some other figure type.

Maybe it's a little bit like some other traits that people are attracted to in a person. For example, we can feel a basic attraction to intelligence or a sense of humor or some other trait that is really mandatory for us to click with a partner, but still have very different physical preferences.


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## James (Oct 12, 2009)

Until I had met other FAs for whom it was a reality, I'd always kind of presumed that bisizual FAs (i.e. FAs who are equally sexually attracted to fat or thin women) weren't for real. I remembered being an awkward teenager and wishing that I was attracted to thin women as it would have made life easier at the time. It seemed to me that bisizual FAs were clinging on to a similar notion... but as I say, I have encountered enough examples of genuine bisizuality since then to know that it does legitimately exist. Some surveys on dims have put the proportion at two-thirds of FAs being bisizual but I'm not so sure its that much. Anecdotally speaking, its probably morelike 10-25% of the FAs that I've met personally that would fall into the bisizual category.


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## jonah-uk (Oct 12, 2009)

i certainly find a lot of thinner women very attractive, but the desire stops at looking really - there's no impetus to want to take things further


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## Jon Blaze (Oct 12, 2009)

Another thing to consider for those that aren't bisizual is where your range begins.

I am, but my "Thin" range is very narrow. You could almost say it's on a societal level. 

But my "Big" range starts just above that and ends at ssbbw. I'm sure many FAs don't, for example, start at 250 lbs for example. 

Also to add to the recent comments: There's nothing wrong with finding thin women attractive aesthetically speaking. lol


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## The Orange Mage (Oct 12, 2009)

certain places on the internet have enlightened me that there are those who call themselves FAs but are disgusted by double chins, hanging bellies, and cellulite. go figure.


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## olwen (Oct 12, 2009)

Jon Blaze said:


> Another thing to consider for those that aren't bisizual is where your range begins.
> 
> I am, but my "Thin" range is very narrow. You could almost say it's on a societal level.
> 
> ...



I sincerely hope this comment doesn't derail this thread or is out of place and if so then Mods, by all means please delete it, but I'm sure there are many bbws over 250lbs or even 350lbs who have been told by more than one FA that we are too small. I know I have been told that several times, so I really do wonder if the number of FAs whose range starts at or near super size is small. I'd think it was at least 1/3rd. But I don't have any statistics to back that up, only personal experience. But more often than not I've been told I'm the wrong shape regardless of size. But that leads to another good myth to bust which is that all FAs prefer pear shape women because that certainly isn't true, as I've had enough admirers over the years to suggest otherwise.


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## James (Oct 12, 2009)

olwen said:


> I sincerely hope this comment doesn't derail this thread or is out of place and if so then Mods, by all means please delete it, but I'm sure there are many bbws over 250lbs or even 350lbs who have been told by more than one FA that we are too small. I know I have been told that several times, so I really do wonder if the number of FAs whose range starts at or near super size is small. I'd think it was at least 1/3rd. But I don't have any statistics to back that up, only personal experience. But more often than not I've been told I'm the wrong shape regardless of size. But that leads to another good myth to bust which is that all FAs prefer pear shape women because that certainly isn't true, as I've had enough admirers over the years to suggest otherwise.



The focus of this project is on clearing up myths that FAs believe erroneously or indeed, showing that there is truth in them. Your personal and anecdotal experience is relevant towards helping do that in this case... i.e. are FAs all turned on in the same way or not..? (Your post helps us by sharing your experience is that FAs have different aesthetics along a variety of axes... which is a perfectly fine contribution..! )

For information to all, those posts that are relevant and constructive, with regards to addressing the myth in question, are welcome. 

Also, feel free to add your suggested myth (all FAs prefer pear shape women) to the suggestions thread


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## rollhandler (Oct 13, 2009)

I consider myself a student of the human condition. As such, and from the FA perspective, I fully believe that for every size and shape and desire, there are others out there to fit it, admire it, and crave it. For every yin there is a yang etc. 

So by that very logic I have also observed that by nature and nurture through experience and the process of personal growth and maturing there are as many ways of desiring BBWs and BHMs as there are FAs to experience it in the world. Many have similar tastes but for most there is some point of division that differs from the next persons. 

I think this myth comes from the social need to fit in somewhere. FAs have a hard enough time fitting in with the desires that make us what we are but, to think that our specific version of FA in our manner of desire is strange or differs from every other FA might make us somehow feel that we don't belong or fit with our own social group. As such we look for those with similarities of experience and manner of preference seeking to connect with specific people that share OUR version of FA more and overlook or deny the differences to fit better with our peers instead of embracing the differences of individuality within the common factors that all FAs share. FA attraction and desire is a common experience we share individually and in different ways.

Rollhandler


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## musicman (Oct 13, 2009)

As Conrad suggested above, I think it depends on where you are in your own personal journey. At first you are amazed (and perhaps overjoyed) to find that there are other guys who like fat women, so you focus on that. Then later, you are equally amazed (and perhaps disappointed) that all FAs don't like them as fat as you like, or shaped the same way. You puzzle about that for a while, and then you begin to develop an appreciation for the true diversity of human preferences.

I like what Rollhandler said about the desire to fit in. That certainly explains a lot of what we feel, in relation to how we think other people feel (or how we think they should feel, etc. etc.)


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## Tad (Oct 13, 2009)

First thought: how this comes about.

I think that part of where this may come from is that most of us start off feeling alone as an FA--everyone else seems to like thin people except for 'me.' We might hope that we aren't the only one, but I think most FA had at least some period of time when they only FA they knew was themself. This period is probably shorter for those who came of age since the Web became widespread, and it became possible to find out about others anonymously, but I think there would still be some time before the young FA would find that information.

So until you start to interact with other FA, your only model for what it means to be an FA is......yourself. And really, that is logical in a lot of ways, so I wouldn't call it a bad thing as a starting assumption. I guess the issue is when people become invested in that ego-centric definition of an FA, and aren't willing to accept other views of it.


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## Jon Blaze (Oct 13, 2009)

rollhandler said:


> I consider myself a student of the human condition. As such, and from the FA perspective, I fully believe that for every size and shape and desire, there are others out there to fit it, admire it, and crave it. For every yin there is a yang etc.
> 
> So by that very logic I have also observed that by nature and nurture through experience and the process of personal growth and maturing there are as many ways of desiring BBWs and BHMs as there are FAs to experience it in the world. Many have similar tastes but for most there is some point of division that differs from the next persons.
> 
> ...



Great sum up comment.


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## wrench13 (Oct 14, 2009)

FA Myth # 3

More to do with FA who are 'out'. The Myth, especially amoung friends and family - "FAs find ALL fat women attractive and sexy" . Wrong. We find individual women attractive, as our tastes and wants dictate. If I have one more person ask me if Mrs Hogget from 'Babe" is sexy....


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## Shosh (Oct 14, 2009)

wrench13 said:


> FA Myth # 3
> 
> More to do with FA who are 'out'. The Myth, especially amoung friends and family - "FAs find ALL fat women attractive and sexy" . Wrong. We find individual women attractive, as our tastes and wants dictate. If I have one more person ask me if Mrs Hogget from 'Babe" is sexy....



Magda Szubanski who played Mrs Hogget, is one of Australia's most beloved comic actors. You definately would not like her now, because she has lost a lot of weight.
This is what she looks like now.

View attachment 0,,6898823,00.jpg


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## mergirl (Oct 14, 2009)

I think this thread is difficult, because there may be Fa myths that we personally don't subscribe to but some Fa's might well do.. So i would say that:

Myth 4 = All Fas are the same.

I get the impression from many posts that this is something that is actually believed. Like in threads such as "Is sex with Fa's good?". Well that would depend on the Fa.. With some it would be shit.. and with others (me for example) it would be a life altering experience that would blow your mind resulting in multiple orgasms.

We are all very different, not just in our personalities but in the way we view other people and in the way we identify as fa's and relate to fat people too. I think this is an important thing to remember, lest we will forever be met with mistrust because someone met an Fa who was mean.


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## Tad (Oct 14, 2009)

Just a reminder that there is another thread (a sticky) for posting proposed new myths. This one is specifically for talking about myth 1. 

By the way, it is not that we made some big decision that this was the biggest myth or anything like that, it was simply an easy one that we chose.

And Mer, I think what you said may sort of be the flip side of this myth. Attracted in the same way and to the same things could probably have been simplified to "are all the same."

-Tad


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## marlowegarp (Oct 14, 2009)

wrench13 said:


> FA Myth # 3
> 
> More to do with FA who are 'out'. The Myth, especially amoung friends and family - "FAs find ALL fat women attractive and sexy" . Wrong. We find individual women attractive, as our tastes and wants dictate. If I have one more person ask me if Mrs Hogget from 'Babe" is sexy....



I know! ARRRGH! I am 25. Kathy Bates is NOT attractive to me. Are you on crack?!


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## BothGunsBlazing (Oct 14, 2009)

marlowegarp said:


> Kathy Bates is NOT attractive to me. Are you on crack?!


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## mergirl (Oct 14, 2009)

marlowegarp said:


> I know! ARRRGH! I am 25. Kathy Bates is NOT attractive to me. Are you on crack?!


I think Kathy bates is hawt!!!:wubu:


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## marlowegarp (Oct 14, 2009)

Mer, I think, to use the words of your fellow Scot Robert Burns, your tastes "gang aft agley".


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## mergirl (Oct 14, 2009)

Tad said:


> Just a reminder that there is another thread (a sticky) for posting proposed new myths. This one is specifically for talking about myth 1.
> 
> By the way, it is not that we made some big decision that this was the biggest myth or anything like that, it was simply an easy one that we chose.
> 
> ...


Ahh sorry i have my study hat on and so when i post here its because my brain is frazzled and i need a break. lmao. 
I know just from my experience of talking to other fas online for about 9 years that we are turned on by fat (that sounds very objective somehow) in different ways and for different reasons. I have a friend who considers herself bi-sizual, in that she is attracted to women of all different shapes and sizes (I mean very dramatically -so she fancies people who are very thin to women who are over 400lbs). She isn't really and Fa per say and she is attracted to big women because she is submissive and the idea of someone being somehow 'more' than her appeals to her. Though, she does like the feel and look of their bodies i know that her attraction is fundimentally different from mine. Her reason for liking big women (and their fat) is because to her this greater size =dominant power. I am not a submissive-I think i have a few reasons for liking big women and liking fat (i think they might even be seperate).*Socially* I actually feel more comfortable around big women for some reason, although i have met many different bbws some of which are not in ANY way relaxing people, somehow i feel more at ease. I can't really explain this and actually before i was a bit more comfortable within myself and within my sexuality being around big women would make me nervous, if i was sexually attracted by them. 
*On a physical level* I Love the different shapes that big women can be, i Love the way they move and how thier bodies are infinitly interesting to me. I love softness and curves and jiggles and everything about a fat womans body. 
*Fat* I actually understand how 'parts' of bodies can be seen as sexually arousing. I loath to admit but i can see a picture or a video of a fat belly and be aroused (esp side views btw), actually Male bellies do it for me too- Fat and a belly preference over ride my gender sexuality. -In real life 1) i prefer relationships with women 2)I dont compartmentalize people into 'parts'-ie i HAVE to be attracted to their personalities as well as thinking they have a pretty face etc.
I guess the question was just about fat but i added in the other parts because for me generally 'fat' without a context is not a turn on for me. On a base level i love 'fat' when it is shaped around a body part- especially bellies, though i love fat bottoms, arms, legs..hmm everything really. I can be turned on by seeing 'art' (lmao) etc where just one part is shown. Which means of course i am a terrible pervert and deviant and in real life would like to go out with a torso!  ---Nah.. all i am saying is that i wonder if all Fa's can objectify body parts in the same way i can on a fantasy level or if you have to think about the full package. 
Gah! I need to study.. so no proof reading .. haha.. like i ever do!! x


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## mergirl (Oct 14, 2009)

marlowegarp said:


> Mer, I think, to use the words of your fellow Scot Robert Burns, your tastes "gang aft agley".


Lmao! I happen to think she is a very handsom woman!! Weirdly enough i also have a 'thing' for evolutionary biologist Olivia Judson. I have no idea why.. she isn't even fat, nor an axe weilding psychopath.
Thats her in the foreground btw. 

View attachment oliviajudson_1.jpg


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## Silver Fox (Oct 15, 2009)

I don't have a lot to add to this thread except that for me this is such an obviously ludicrous myth. It's like saying that everyone prefers chocolate ice cream over all the other flavors. There are some people who don't even like ice cream!


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## bbwsrule (Oct 16, 2009)

Hopefully I understand what the "myth" is to answer this way...

1. I have a strong preference for big bellied BBWS, not Pears. Just my preference, nothing more. There seem to be a lot of us apparently from the "belly lovers" thread.

2. Even with this preference, there is wide variation in the attractiveness of women, and big women, to me. Same I'm sure for men who prefer thin women.

So, most definitely all FA's don't view fat/fat attraction the same way!


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## Weirdo890 (Oct 17, 2009)

mergirl said:


> I get the impression from many posts that this is something that is actually believed. Like in threads such as "Is sex with Fa's good?". Well that would depend on the Fa.. With some it would be shit.. and with others (me for example) it would be a life altering experience that would blow your mind resulting in multiple orgasms.
> 
> .



 Uh-huh. Do you have any proof to back that up? *raises eyebrow*


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## mergirl (Oct 18, 2009)

Weirdo890 said:


> Uh-huh. Do you have any proof to back that up? *raises eyebrow*


Sure. Just look at the smiling face of my gf in her pics!


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## rollhandler (Oct 18, 2009)

mergirl said:


> I get the impression from many posts that this is something that is actually believed. Like in threads such as "Is sex with Fa's good?". Well that would depend on the Fa.. With some it would be shit.. and with others (me for example) it would be a life altering experience that would blow your mind resulting in multiple orgasms.





Weirdo890 said:


> Uh-huh. Do you have any proof to back that up? *raises eyebrow*



Since a smile on your girlfriends face is only evidence of a good time had but not evidence of how it got there and pictures and video are tamperable, I say we all go to Mers' house to witness this "alleged" feat being performed. I'll bring the chips, but someone else has to bring the drinks.
Rollhandler


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## mergirl (Oct 18, 2009)

rollhandler said:


> Since a smile on your girlfriends face is only evidence of a good time had but not evidence of how it got there and pictures and video are tamperable, I say we all go to Mers' house to witness this "alleged" feat being performed. I'll bring the chips, but someone else has to bring the drinks.
> Rollhandler


Yes, cause thats what Lesbians want. Men eating chips and drinking, while watching them having sex!! 
maaahn life is Sooo like porn sometimes...
Now..is anyone here a plumber?.. i have some pipes that need fixed... Me and my blonde bisexual gf have been waiting here with the air con all broken, naked except for highheels! 
Ok... i have never used this smilie before..but it is called for. :doh:


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## CleverBomb (Oct 18, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Yes, cause thats what Lesbians want. Men eating chips and drinking, while watching them having sex!!
> maaahn life is Sooo like porn sometimes...
> Now..is anyone here a plumber?.. i have some pipes that need fixed... Me and my blonde bisexual gf have been waiting here with the air con all broken, naked except for highheels!
> Ok... i have never used this smilie before..but it is called for. :doh:


Dear Penthouse;

I never thought I would be writing to you, but...

-Rusty
(or, you know, not.)


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## rollhandler (Oct 19, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Yes, cause thats what Lesbians want. Men eating chips and drinking, while watching them having sex!!
> maaahn life is Sooo like porn sometimes...
> Now..is anyone here a plumber?.. i have some pipes that need fixed... Me and my blonde bisexual gf have been waiting here with the air con all broken, naked except for highheels!
> Ok... i have never used this smilie before..but it is called for. :doh:



I am a plumber, AND HVAC certified!
Rollhandler


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## mergirl (Oct 19, 2009)

rollhandler said:


> I am a plumber, AND HVAC certified!
> Rollhandler


Ahh but do you have a glazed look, bad acting skills and a 10 inch cock that goes for hours?


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## rollhandler (Oct 19, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Ahh but do you have a glazed look, bad acting skills and a 10 inch cock that goes for hours?



Yes, yes and, no but for plumbing I usually use a 50 foot drain snake and not my cock. *wonders just exactly what kind of pervert she thinks I am*
Rollhandler


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## mergirl (Oct 19, 2009)

rollhandler said:


> Yes, yes and, no but for plumbing I usually use a 50 foot drain snake and not my cock. *wonders just exactly what kind of pervert she thinks I am*
> Rollhandler


I was talking about a stopcock! 
Why all the talk of perversions..


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## Weirdo890 (Oct 19, 2009)

rollhandler said:


> Since a smile on your girlfriends face is only evidence of a good time had but not evidence of how it got there and pictures and video are tamperable, I say we all go to Mers' house to witness this "alleged" feat being performed. I'll bring the chips, but someone else has to bring the drinks.
> Rollhandler



I second this. I can buy drinks, but it'll have to be pop. I can't buy alcohol yet. (only three more months though).


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## Tad (Oct 21, 2009)

Anyone feel like taking a shot at summarizing what has been said so far? Basically this is your chance to give your take on what the important points are. Multiple people are allowed and invited to give a summary. I'll try to take my own shot at it soon-ish, but it won't be until at least Thursday, maybe Friday.


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## James (Oct 25, 2009)

Ok - 2 weeks are up for this one. I'm closing the thread and the editorial group will be synthesizing your replies into a post on the main Myths thread in the next few days. Thanks for your contributions all!


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