# Instant Attraction



## LeoGibson (Sep 1, 2011)

I wanted to throw this one out there and get some other folks thoughts on this subject.Let me preface this by saying, I'm married and not out there trying to get myself some side.This just seems to be a phenomena I have noticed and have thought about many times and wonder what others think about it.

Here goes, I was out and about in public the other day and there was a woman that just the minute I saw her it was like an electric jolt right to the old happy place. Now, before you say yeah dummy,that proves she was a woman and that is a typical response for a hetero male, it was more than that.It was a blast of pure sexual attraction on a primal level. Now she wasn't unattractive by any means,but not a hugley attractive woman either.She was the type that some would like and some would not. The particulars really don't matter. But there was something in her that just triggered something in me.

Now the second part of the equation, is that we just glanced at each other in passing, in the space of a couple of seconds, not a word was spoken.But in that brief exchange of glances and a half-smile it was almost as if a whole conversation played through and I don't know how I knew and I guess technically since nothing was pursued you can make the case that I could never truly "know", but I could tell in her return glance that the feeling was totally mutual and all it would require was to make the move and she was interested as well. I knew this as much as I know the sky's blue and water's wet. It was just a psychic knowledge almost.

So, I'm either slightly deranged and need to seek out a nice relaxing thorazine treatment to quell the voices that tell me these things,or some other people have had situations like this as well. I'd be curious to hear either way.


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## CarlaSixx (Sep 2, 2011)

Definitely have had that happen before.


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## KittyKitten (Sep 2, 2011)

This has happened to me quite a few times. The person may not be the greatest looking (crooked teeth, cocked eyes), but I get that electric jolt between my legs when I look at that person. Nothing weird at all.


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## BLK360 (Sep 2, 2011)

I have this happen when I wake up in the morning. Life is attractive in general. But as for specific situation, I only remember once for sure, and I ended up stopping her, talking to her, and that lead to the worst relationship of my life. lol.


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## LeoGibson (Sep 2, 2011)

I guess the first part of the scenario is fairly well explainable,the attraction part and some people you just click to and some you don't. For me though, the second part is what intrigues me the most. The knowing that the feeling is reciprocated. That what you are sending out they are picking up on and sending it right back to you. How you can know something so strongly without having a conversation. I wonder what it is,a scent? Vibration? An energy of sorts? Telepathy maybe? Some long repressed trait in our DNA that every once in a while pops back out to the forefront? I have no real theory as of yet.


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## Melian (Sep 2, 2011)

Hm...I've sort of had this happen, once: the first time I saw my (future) husband, I was awestruck by how hot he was. He didn't know I was alive for a few years after that, though, and when we met, he hated my guts for about a year...and then he loved me. Men!


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## Tad (Sep 2, 2011)

Melian said:


> Hm...I've sort of had this happen, once: the first time I saw my (future) husband, I was awestruck by how hot he was. He didn't know I was alive for a few years after that, though, and when we met, he hated my guts for about a year...and then he loved me. Men!



We like to make you work for it, woo us, you know, the whole fairy tale chase.... 

Every few years I'll see someone that instantly grabs my attention and imprints their image on my brain....but even when I was single, my reaction to that was generally to first freeze and then to carefully never look them in the eye, in case they could see what a fool I was. So no idea if it was ever mutual ( but I doubt it.)


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## Surlysomething (Sep 2, 2011)

It's happened twice to me that are memorable. And it's a crazy-ass thing for sure.


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## theronin23 (Sep 3, 2011)

I'm trying to find a shorter word than yes to agree with everyone about this happening.

That has happened with every girlfriend I've ever had. And it's known to stay even after breaking up. Even though I hate them there's still that gut, primal animal attraction.


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## bettylulu (Sep 3, 2011)

LeoGibson said:


> I guess the first part of the scenario is fairly well explainable,the attraction part and some people you just click to and some you don't. For me though, the second part is what intrigues me the most. The knowing that the feeling is reciprocated. That what you are sending out they are picking up on and sending it right back to you. How you can know something so strongly without having a conversation. I wonder what it is,a scent? Vibration? An energy of sorts? Telepathy maybe? Some long repressed trait in our DNA that every once in a while pops back out to the forefront? I have no real theory as of yet.



That's the billion dollar question. My personal opinion, and maybe it's a little esoteric or metaphysical, is that we are constantly sending out and receiving signals. Maybe you and she were just tuned into the same frequency and clicked on another level. I think just about everyone has has an experience when you just couldn't be around someone. You think to yourself, "I don't know what it is about that person, but they give me the willies." Sort of the opposite of instant attraction. 

Or maybe we both need that thorazine vacation. ;-)


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## olwen (Sep 3, 2011)

That has kinda happened to me once. I was sitting next to a handsome older man on the bus and we started talking and it was like an instant rapport and this little kid who was sitting in front of us (his seat was perpendicular to us) asked us if were were married. Why he asked us that I have no idea, but we went along with it without thinking about it and we were finishing each others sentences. It was kind of awesome actually. But then my stop came and I had to go. I don't remember his name and it didn't occur to me to ask for his number till after I got off the bus. I coulda kicked myself.


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## olwen (Sep 3, 2011)

LeoGibson said:


> I guess the first part of the scenario is fairly well explainable,the attraction part and some people you just click to and some you don't. For me though, the second part is what intrigues me the most. The knowing that the feeling is reciprocated. That what you are sending out they are picking up on and sending it right back to you. How you can know something so strongly without having a conversation. I wonder what it is,a scent? Vibration? An energy of sorts? Telepathy maybe? Some long repressed trait in our DNA that every once in a while pops back out to the forefront? I have no real theory as of yet.



Past life recollections maybe?


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## LeoGibson (Sep 3, 2011)

theronin23 said:


> I'm trying to find a shorter word than yes to agree with everyone about this happening.
> 
> That has happened with every girlfriend I've ever had. And it's known to stay even after breaking up. Even though I hate them there's still that gut, primal animal attraction.



This is slightly different than what has my curiosity up. I get primal attraction, that part is pretty understandable and I think even scientifically explainable. My interest is in the nonverbal part where, and we are talking in the blink of an eye here, no words are spoken, just a look and you know that the other person feels just as you do. That's what I can't explain.



bettylulu said:


> That's the billion dollar question. My personal opinion, and maybe it's a little esoteric or metaphysical, is that we are constantly sending out and receiving signals. Maybe you and she were just tuned into the same frequency and clicked on another level. I think just about everyone has has an experience when you just couldn't be around someone. You think to yourself, "I don't know what it is about that person, but they give me the willies." Sort of the opposite of instant attraction.
> 
> Or maybe we both need that thorazine vacation. ;-)



Hah, maybe on the vacation part. But exactly that, your post brings to mind how it can work in another way as well. The times in passing you can see someone and an instant jolt of disgust or hatred or whatever negative feeling you have hits you and you can feel the same negativity from them. That one for me has happened a time or two, but it is far more rare than the good feeling sexy time discernment.



olwen said:


> Past life recollections maybe?



While I don't rule much out, I'm inclined not to believe in past lives. Maybe I would if someone ever said, "Hey, in a past life I was Queen Victoria's chambermaid and I emptied her bedpan every morning." But instead it's always,"I was Queen Victoria in my past life."

So either everyone was royalty and the peons weren't allowed to reincarnate or it's all hokum.:doh:


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## olwen (Sep 3, 2011)

LeoGibson said:


> This is slightly different than what has my curiosity up. I get primal attraction, that part is pretty understandable and I think even scientifically explainable. My interest is in the nonverbal part where, and we are talking in the blink of an eye here, no words are spoken, just a look and you know that the other person feels just as you do. That's what I can't explain.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I've read that being a "celebrity" in a past life is rare for most. Most people had average lives. There are a few good books on the subject:

Journey of Souls and Destiny of Souls both by Michael Newton and pretty much anything by Sylvia Brown. They are quite interesting and you can get a past life astrology reading from any astrology site. They don't go into great detail, obviously, cause that's not what they do, but they can give you an idea of what themes have been present in past lives, as they come up over and over until you resolve them. 

I'm inclined to think that me and that guy on the bus must have had a past life where we got along swimmingly and that we might not have any issues to resolve in this one, but it's nice to just connect so to speak even if briefly. 

I find this past life stuff to be really interesting. If I ever have an opportunity to have a past life reading done, I'll do it.


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## CarlaSixx (Sep 3, 2011)

I'd just like to comment on the post above mine and say that while Sylvia Browne's books do contain some good stuff, just remember that she herself is basically a quack and at least 80% of every book she's had her name on is actually written by ghost writers. People get paid by her to write something, and she takes all the credit.


---


As for the "they eyes do the talkin'"... well... I can't explain it. I've had it happen and be major fireworks. And one time I found the person again after years of looking for them. And it was the same. He's married, now, I believe. But there's still a whole "don't let these two in a room together" kind of vibe and no flirtatious talk is involved. It's just by the energy, I guess.

I do believe it's people getting on each other's identical wave length. A sort of "soul understanding" for lack of a better term. It's magical. I'll give you that much.


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## olwen (Sep 3, 2011)

Awww, there's some interesting stuff in some of those books. Ah well, at the very least they are entertaining.


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## bettylulu (Sep 3, 2011)

Another good one about past lives is Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian Weiss. He is a psychiatrist and was skeptical of past lives until a patient started talking about a past life during a hypnosis session. It's really interesting.


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## CarlaSixx (Sep 3, 2011)

olwen said:


> Awww, there's some interesting stuff in some of those books. Ah well, at the very least they are entertaining.



They are really good and ver informative, but there's some stuff that's wrong and especially her own predictions. She herself is a quack, not so much so those that write for her. It just sucks that she refuses to credit the writers. They get a nice pay, but it's really hard to quote published work when you don't get credit. 

A good friend of mine has written for Sylvia in the past and has been published in Sylvia's books. But she refuses to write for her anymore. Others are way better at crediting the real authors.


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## one2one (Sep 4, 2011)

I had a similar experience when I met an ex-fiancé for the first time. It was a blind date; we'd talked on the phone a few times before and then met for dinner one night. When he walked in and we looked at each other the attraction was immediate and profound. I barely had time to register what he was wearing as he was walking toward me asking if a hug was alright, which I heard him say at the same time I was hearing my own voice in my mind say, "Oh my God, I'm in so much trouble." When he suggested we get a table and turned to go to the hostess stand I had to pull my hand away and put it behind my back because I realized, just in the nick of time, that I'd reached up and was about to put my fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck. All of that happened within about ten seconds.

I don't know if there's a single answer for it because I think there are a couple things that can be happening. First, when the reaction is that intense it has a way of rendering both people a bit defenseless. For lack of a better word ones 'guard' comes crashing down. Instead of the polite conversation we tend to make when we meet someone, there is a elemental vulnerability in which we are closer to our instinctual, primal essence. It seems likely to me that it would also follow that both people are emitting and receiving some very strong signals, not just biochemically (pheromones), but telepathically as well. It's a part of our nature that we often forget we have.

I think people pick up on the energy being given off from other people all the time. If you were both experiencing the same thing, she could very well have been 'hearing' your reaction to her almost as if it were a question she then answered in the same way, before she had any time to think about it at all. I also don't rule out something like destiny or soul recognition, but I understand not everyone is inclined to agree. I think I've believed for pretty much all of my adult life that reincarnation makes more sense than anything else (if you believe in the existence of the soul before birth and after death it's a pretty short step to make), but I never really thought much more than that about it until I stumbled upon an opportunity to do a past life regression a few years ago.

I was neither Queen Victoria nor her chambermaid in any of them, and the rest of the story I'll just keep to myself.


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## TheMildlyStrangeone (Sep 5, 2011)

Thread goes from normal sexual response in humans to past-live recollections...


Anyway, my thoughts:

While I've had similar anecdotal experiences, I tend to think in these cases we project our desires, rather than what reality reflects. We are hardwired to reproduce, so naturally, when you made eye contact with a sexually attractive female, your body felt the want to reproduce with her. She doesn't even have to be a stunner for you to react physiologically. Maybe her large lips were bursting with a lush red color (indicating she is fertile, thus stimulating your sexual evolutionary response). But I digress. 


Optimistic, non-Debbie Downer view:

She totally wanted to bone you dude.


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## LeoGibson (Sep 5, 2011)

TheMildlyStrangeone said:


> Thread goes from normal sexual response in humans to past-live recollections...
> 
> 
> Anyway, my thoughts:
> ...



I agree with that assessment for most normal situations, the physiological response is true in most cases and looks really dont matter. Something about a certain person will set you off i.e. full red lips or whatever long held idea of fertility hardwired in us. I see that several times a day. I have that attraction quite a bit. I totally get that and the psycho therapeutic logical answer for it. It is a regularly occuring phenomena I think.

What I am referencing happens far, far less frequently. The last previous episode was probably 5-7 years ago. But what your saying may well be true because even though I *think* I *know*. You really can't know 100% unless you follow up on it and I did not.

On an anecdotal aside, the one time I did have this happen back in my younger single days and I followed up on. Not one word was spoken previously, I had this feeling and was by myself and in a city far away from my home and I threw caustion to the wind and went for it. I walked up to introduce myself and touched her on the small of the back and she turned and instantly kissed me,and you can pretty much guess how the rest of it went. It was a one time thing and for me ultimately turned out to be unfulfilling because it lacked any real depth of emotion, but that is another issue for a different subject. It didn't seem as we *knew* each other and there was zero relationship potential. So any past life knowledge I don't think existed. I do however think it is one of those things that isn't easily or readily explainable. Some things are a little bit beyond the pale of what science can explain logically.

As far as the other just random physiological responses of a normal regular nature, I will agree and continue to think for my own ego's sake as I get older, oh yeah, they so want to do me.


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## CarlaSixx (Sep 5, 2011)

Think it is different than human attraction. 

I've followed up on it with the last person it happened with. I got that lightning three times with him before I followed up. Had no idea he would go for someone like me, and boy... Those lightnig strikes kept raining down! :wubu: It led to a very quick and rocky relationship, but I swear one of the most life changing relationships I've ever been in. And it all started from a look. Still when I think of him, there's some kind of inner reaction. There's some kind of chemistry there, forever. But were we to meet again, it would not work out despite knowing how crazy the sparks will fly. 

In fact, it was others that were telling me the energy between us was insane. One person said it was like watching a private moment. I thought it was one sided, but thank goodness for following it up. Haha. 

Being single does make that easier though


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## Specter (Sep 5, 2011)

I've had this happen to me a few times. It usually happens when you least expect it to, when your not thinking about anything in particular, your just in the right place at the right time.

When I was younger I used to fall in love *alot*. It's like in a movie where a second becomes a minute in slow mo. Time stops except for you and that person. They way they smell, the way they walk, the way they're dressed, maybe it's just something you see in them that they're supconciously exuding. It's a beautiful thing. I wish life had more moments like that.

And about previous lives, I believe I was myself in a previous life except certain things that happened in a previos life are slightly different. Like I have dreams about a certain situation and weeks or even months later I'll be going through the situation and it'll be exactly like the dream or something changed, de ja vu like. 

There's this guy who used to lay down on a couch, close his eyes and self hypnotise/put himself in a trance while someone jotted down what he wrote and it was if he could foretell the future. I think there are people who can subconciously see things others can't, they have a connection to the world on another level, astral even.

There's just things in this world we will never explain, like the weird feeling before something bad happens or how we can tell someones staring at us.


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## bettylulu (Sep 5, 2011)

Specter said:


> There's this guy who used to lay down on a couch, close his eyes and self hypnotise/put himself in a trance while someone jotted down what he wrote and it was if he could foretell the future. I think there are people who can subconciously see things others can't, they have a connection to the world on another level, astral even.



Edgar Cayce and I agree.


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## OneWickedAngel (Sep 5, 2011)

I fully get what you're saying Leo. 

I once had such a "conversation" for someone else in the presence of my late-husband. All we did were lock eyes while passing eye other by, yet the intensity of my reaction to the other person caught me so off guard I froze mid-step for a second. I knew it was reciprocal because, he nearly dropped the wineglass he was holding. We somehow _acknowledged_ the reactions, played on it, finished-up and moved on in the space of the maximum of ten seconds it took for us to pass. And like your encounter not a word exchanged between us, but yeah, were I not married, one crook of his finger and it would have been on!

My husband's best-friend saw the whole thing, and apparently, my saving grace was that whatever look it was I displaying for the other person, paled in comparison to the look I displayed with my husband when my attention was finally returned to him. Or as the erstwhile best-friend succinctly said to me later that evening, "If I couldn't see how hot you are all over for him (my late-husband), I'd swear you were fucking that other guy." 

It is primal, when two sets of pheromones are in harmony, they call to each other at a level only our subconscious can comprehend. It takes our active conscious to not react to it, but we can't deny it.


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## LeoGibson (Sep 6, 2011)

This is exactly the type of situation I was talking about. It's like the difference between a violent thunderstorm and a tornado that pops up out of nowhere and hits like a freight train. It is more rare and usually with a another man but I have felt the exact opposite where instead of lust it was an extreme dislike almost to the point where you want to go to battle Viking style. Same situation just a different feeling.


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## joemurphy (Sep 6, 2011)

Its called 'falling in lust'. Just relax and enjoy the fantasy while it lasts, just watch out for traffic while crossing....


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## CastingPearls (Sep 6, 2011)

Once it happened and I hadn't even looked at him yet. I just felt goosebumps and the hair on my arms standing on end and I turned around at the same time he did and it.was.on. He was also the subject of 'the kiss' in one of the kiss threads.

That flame lasted 14 years. We were involved, then not, then married to others, then bumped into each other while still married and even talked about it because it was still so strong in fact, that others always noticed it too. 

A couple of years ago I had to stop by his business to purchase something and it had been a years since I'd seen him because we'd agreed to totally avoid each other. A friend was with me and although she knew we had a history, she didn't know anything about that magnetic pull between us and when she saw him walk around the corner and see me there (I was looking the other way), she turned to me and grabbed my arm and said, 'Jesus Christ, Lainey. I FELT THAT.' It was like a tangible thing.

I'm very happy to say though that the flame is now totally extinguished. I saw him recently since I moved back to town and I felt nothing. And that felt wonderful.


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## Fat Brian (Sep 6, 2011)

^^^ Totally been there before. There is one person to whom I'm not married that does that to me. I have to avoid her completely.


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## CarlaSixx (Sep 6, 2011)

I have two people like that. And while it sucks to have to avoid them, I guess it's for the best.


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## Fat Brian (Sep 29, 2011)




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## GentleSavage (Sep 30, 2011)

My sophomore year of college I was in my Mysticism class, and one of our first projects was to do something, like a presentation or a performance, of something that we feel elevates us in a certain way. A lot of people just shirked off the assignment and showed their favorite songs, or movies, or whatever. I myself did a poetry reading, so not that hard too.

But one girl who I thought was pretty before sang for hers. And I just sat there staring at her thinking that an angel, or like a fairy, was before my eyes. This led to me having the hugest crush on her for the better part of the next 2 and a half years. 

It was the closest thing to love at first sight I've ever experienced. I know this doesn't really equate to instant sexual attraction, but I'm usually not sexually interested in anyone until I get to know them. IDK. I'm weird.


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## samuraiscott (Oct 9, 2011)

I think all of my relationships have started this way. Instant attraction is very real 4 me.


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