# Sassy/Bitchy fat girls.



## Pitch (Jun 7, 2011)

--Of which I am one.

I've been hearing a lot of sizeist comments to do with big girls and how half of us have "bad attitudes". Even in the FA/SA community. They usually go something like this.

Non FA: "Oh, she's just a bitch/outspoken/etc to make up for being fat. She's just bitter, blah blah blah." You know, because thin to average sized women are NEVER bitches. Ever. Thin women are all uniformly sweet as candy and _lope_ through their lives like gazelle. Attitude somehow directly correlates to weight for these people.

FA: (Saw this comment on Curvage) "I wont date a sassy BBW. It seems like BBWs go one of two ways, either they become bitches because they've been treated like dirt or they become total sweet hearts." He then went on about liking the latter, obviously.

So, I was thinking that even if I weighed 110 pounds instead of 280 that my attitude would most likely be the same. Oh yeah, and thin/average women also can have rocky pasts and get treated like dirt. And get called bitches. 

I guess this is another facet of lookism? You can't just be a bitch if you are fat or "unnatractive" (supposedly). Its just you acting out because of these factors. You can't JUST be outspoken, it seems. You cant JUST not be interested in any bullshit.

*You're a big mean fatty. Or just mad because you're "ugly". *

The non-logic of lookists, sexists, sizeists and narcissists baffles me.You'd think this kind of stuff would die out in middle school, right!? So, like...maybe it ties into the submissive/purity myth thing, as well? I think this is one of the many reasons fat is a feminist issue.

Do BHM experience or know of an equivalent to this?
Other thoughts?


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## HeavyDuty24 (Jun 7, 2011)

i have actually heard the "o there just nice because there fat,being nice is all they have" more then the "just being bitchy because there fat" thing.


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## bbwlibrarian (Jun 7, 2011)

The truth is that, yes, in the eyes of the sizeist world, we're all at fault (thanks to our weight) for whatever segment of our personalities/bodies/minds that is deemed unacceptable to the dominant cultural minority. The real truth is that to a certain extent we all project certain personality traits to compensate for internal insecurities, but this is not always a dominant factor in the structuring of one's external self.

Isn't the "funny fat guy" trope considered a semi-equivalent stereotype in the BHM community? Guys, can you chime in?


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## Azrael (Jun 7, 2011)

Unfortunately people happen to be very judgemental and while it is true that some women act pretty mean it's not to say that this isn't any different than what people do on a daily basis to everyone.

I remember getting the stereotype of being a satanist by a couple of people and ofcourse I had the general "stay away from that man" type of thing because of my look.

It's really nothing new, people will judge based on appearance, even on weight.

While it is usually more directed at women, that's not to say that everyone isn't judged in a similiar way as well.


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## Kamily (Jun 7, 2011)

Well I am fat and sassy. In my opinion, they can either like me for who I am or get the fuck outta my way. Its their loss.


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## Pitch (Jun 7, 2011)

HeavyDuty24 said:


> i have actually heard the "o there just nice because there fat,being nice is all they have" more then the "just being bitchy because there fat" thing.



Heard this, too. Alongside and worse than that is the whole "Fat girls give the best head" thing which I think makes me so angry that I want to burst into flames. It has nothing to do with weight/skill and more to do with it being followed up with "Because they are desperate for any/all attention".


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## Fox (Jun 7, 2011)

Most people do have the same attitude thin as they do fat. Some don't , but many do. I don't think all mean big girls are mean because of being what society thinks of them. Sometimes, it's just brain chemistry. A golden heart or a snake could be found in any person of any size, color, religion, sexuality, etc. That's why it's not right to judge an entire group of people for how they look.


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## CastingPearls (Jun 7, 2011)

Sour grapes. When the riff-raff out themselves, they make it that much easier for us to dismiss them and find others more worthy of us.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Jun 7, 2011)

Pitch said:


> Heard this, too. Alongside and worse than that is the whole "Fat girls give the best head" thing which I think makes me so angry that I want to burst into flames. It has nothing to do with weight/skill and more to do with it being followed up with "Because they are desperate for any/all attention".



i completely agree,it's crazy how some people think bigger girls have zero to no standards,how they are the best at sex as you say,and that they are the most desperate and horny.not true and not right.


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## Tracii (Jun 7, 2011)

I was at a club and overheard two guys talking.
One said go hit on the fat chick I'll bet she is hard up Ha Ha Ha.
My BF happened to be standing right next to them at the bar getting a beer and he told them thats my lady you little fuck! You couldn't handle her anyway.
Ricky is soo tactful sometimes.LOL
The two vanished quickly.
Yeah it hurt when I heard that because I'm very picky about who I hang with.
I guess I could have quipped some smart ass comment back but I didn't want to stoop to their level.


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## Pitch (Jun 7, 2011)

Tracii said:


> I was at a club and overheard two guys talking.
> One said go hit on the fat chick I'll bet she is hard up Ha Ha Ha.
> My BF happened to be standing right next to them at the bar getting a beer and he told them thats my lady you little fuck! You couldn't handle her anyway.
> Ricky is soo tactful sometimes.LOL
> ...



You're a better person than I am, though. I'd stoop really fast to their level....violently. Guys who do that make my nethers shrivel up.


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## bigmac (Jun 7, 2011)

Sassy and Bitchy are two totally different things. Why are they always being lumped together?


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## Tracyarts (Jun 7, 2011)

" Sassy and Bitchy are two totally different things. Why are they always being lumped together? "

Well, "bitchy" means different things to different people. In my context, it's not a compliment. But some people feel differently. I think a big part of it is the fact that some women have "claimed" or "owned" the word in an attempt to take away the negative power behind it. But the problem there is that it only works with people of a like mind. Go around bragging about being a bitch to the general public and some of us are going to assume you're not a nice person, and just don't care. 

From my context, the best way to describe sassy versus bitchy is this: Strong women use sassy as a tool. Weak women use bitchy as a crutch. In my context, sassy is strength of personality and will. Bitchy is what you try to pass off for it when you have neither. Unless you're just a piece of shit with a bad attitude. But then again, that's a no-brainer. 

But if somebody enjoys being a bitch, and that's just who they are, more power to them, the world can't all be full of nice people. However, I'm at a stage in my life where my time and energy are too important to waste on people like that regardless of why they behave the way that they do. Just because you're bitchy doesn't mean that you're less of a person, it just means that you're not the type of person I wish to engage with.

Tracy


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## dynezt (Jun 7, 2011)

I totally agree with Tracy.
If a girl's sassy, she's usually confident while a bitchy girl tends to be insecure.
I like sassy girls


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## PunkyGurly74 (Jun 7, 2011)

I personally love the pathetic men who will volunteer that they want to date a big girl, not because they are attracted to them..but, they are just so much nicer and easier to get along with - because we had to develop a personality because we didn't have looks... :: gags and rolls eyes:: 

Just because I can be nice, pleasant and affable doesn't mean I always am. And it has nothing to do with my GD weight. Sometimes I'm non communicative, sometimes, I'm upset.. I'm a person ..not so non-entity who has no feelings besides "nice" i.e. doormat - which I am not...they just need to keep stepping.


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## LoveBHMS (Jun 7, 2011)

I've said this before but the only difference between fat people and skinny people is the fat. 

Most, if not all people's personalities are shaped in part due to challenges they face. But it's equally possible for a fatty to develop a sassy personality or to be withdrawn. Somebody could say "well i'm not attractive so I'll make sure to be nice and friendly" or they could say "I'm not attractive which sucks so I just won't talk to anyone" or they could say "Being picked on for my looks is so awful that it's made me hate everyone. I hate the whole world and I'm going to be mean and hurtful towards every single person I meet."

That being said, some personality traits are just innate, and some are a reflection of upbringing. It's also possible that somebody's looks don't affect their personality at all. I work with a fat guy who said he was always treated the same by his parents as they treated his siblings and that there were tons of fatties in his church so he never seemed very remarkable anyway and his size wasn't an issue.

My point is the fact of somebody being sassy or bitch may not have a thing to do with their weight.


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## Sasquatch! (Jun 7, 2011)

My ears are burning.


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## NancyGirl74 (Jun 7, 2011)

Fat is a size, not a personality trait. I think people forget that just as they forget that blonde is a hair color and not a personality trait. The word "fat" has come to mean more than the size of one's body. If you are deemed fat and bitchy it is somehow worse than just being bitchy. Just like if you are seen as fat and sweet all kinds of meaning comes with that label, too. If we dress down we are fat slobs. If we dress up we are fatties trying to prove something. In the eyes of many *FAs if you are fat with attitude you are a confident BBW. If you are fat and shy you have no self esteem. People deal with being labeled all the time but I think it is to a higher degree if you are fat. Because when you are fat you are not just bitchy, confident, casual, and etc. You are a fat bitch, a fat girl with confidence, fat slob, and so on. Being fat is exhausting...and I don't mean just dealing with having a fat body. I mean all the labels that come with being fat. At least we're not labeled "jolly" any more. I, for one, am not a "jolly" person...fat or not. 

*This is strictly my personal and very generalized observation based on my own experiences.


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## SarahLaughsAlot (Jun 7, 2011)

Attitudes cannot be predefined. They are unique to ones own personality. Do i have to page dr. freud  lol. Personality if formed from past experiences. People do generalize personalities like "She's laid back" or "She's so bitchy". What happened in her life to make her that way though? We also have id, ego and super ego. Which i'm not getting into psych 101, but it has a lot to do with peoples personality and as my papaw would say your turn about you. My main argument here is, people generalizing that they wouldn't date a bitchy bbw, well i wouldn't date a bitch either lol just saying! BBW's and Skinny Girls are both capable of being bitchy and sassy, and sometimes is their only defense mechanism to being hurt. I quote it best "Behind every hateful, cold, bitter woman, is a scared, hurt, shaken soul"- unknown.


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## butch (Jun 7, 2011)

Maybe we need a "Sassy Fat Friend" on youtube, to go along with all the "Sassy Gay Friend" videos?


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## Surlysomething (Jun 7, 2011)

I've been called "intimidating" a lot. Not bitchy or sassy. 

I guess you can all live in fear. Haha.


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## bigmac (Jun 7, 2011)

Surlysomething said:


> I've been called "intimidating" a lot. Not bitchy or sassy.
> 
> I guess you can all live in fear. Haha.




Intimidating can be good -- gets rid of a lot of people you didn't want to talk to anyway.


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## Surlysomething (Jun 7, 2011)

bigmac said:


> Intimidating can be good -- gets rid of a lot of people you didn't want to talk to anyway.


 
I live alone in the city. I have to have an edge and it's served me well.

When people do talk to me though they're genuninely surprised. I had an old co-worker stop by my home some years ago and he was visibly shocked by how comfortable and inviting it was. HAHAHA. I guess he though I would live in some minimalistic, HR Geiger-esque suite.


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## Tad (Jun 7, 2011)

There are certainly guys in general, not just FA, who complain about women who have traits like: standing up for themselves, not rolling over to please men, calling guys on their BS, and focusing on living their lives in a manner that pleases themselves. 

If you are dating, I imagine you'll meet more than your share of these guys.....'cause not a lot of them are in long term relationships. 

Or to put it another way, you'll meet plenty of people in this world who want you to give them your money, you'll meet lots of people who want you to give them your time, and you are naturally careful and leery about both. When you meet people who want you to give them your identity, don't feel any more guilt about saying 'no' than you would to people looking to leach more visible resources from you.


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## Pitch (Jun 7, 2011)

Just to clarify, let's not twist what I mean by "bitchy".

I dont mean someone who is a right bold cunt. I essentially still mean outspoken, still charming, maybe a low tolerance for bullshit.

Tad kind of clarified it here for me.



> There are certainly guys in general, not just FA, who complain about women who have traits like: *standing up for themselves, not rolling over to please men, calling guys on their BS, and focusing on living their lives in a manner that pleases themselves. *




That kind of bitchy/sassy. Not someone who is straight up _evil._


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## FatAndProud (Jun 7, 2011)

butch said:


> Maybe we need a "Sassy Fat Friend" on youtube, to go along with all the "Sassy Gay Friend" videos?



"She's a stupid bitch!" lol!!


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## Tau (Jun 7, 2011)

The word sassy brings to mind cartoon westerns hehehe! Like the Cowboys of Moo Mesa!

Fat is no signifier of personality. Idiots and those who are weak and pathetic will always say stupid things. Do you - bitchy, sassy, whatever. Long as you're happy and comfy in your skin and with your attitude everybody else can really just go away. Also, some of the characters on Curvage can be...special. They really aren't worth taking seriously.


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## penguin (Jun 7, 2011)




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## succubus_dxb (Jun 7, 2011)

I can be an asshole and pretty funny, I just happen to have a huge ass too.


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## FatAndProud (Jun 7, 2011)

penguin said:


>



GAH! I can't give you rep! lol


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## luvbigfellas (Jun 7, 2011)

I'm generally a sweet, nice FFA. It's just that occasionally, even I can get annoyed and thus sassy....there's also that smartass streak that my mother seems to think is a problem but I see as a gift!

I've known some just...BITCHES....full-out manipulative, bitchass girls who are basically criminals and con artists, just not with the arrests/jail time. Seems like I always find these people...and they call me a wuss. (Ha.)


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## Sasquatch! (Jun 7, 2011)

You're all my bitches.


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## Kamily (Jun 7, 2011)

penguin said:


>



LMAO Thats great!


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## Zandoz (Jun 7, 2011)

I married a very sassy BBW 15 years ago...no regrets and no wishes she were otherwise.

It was asked about the BHM side of the equation. Most of my life I've seriously intimidated most folks because of my size and appearance (right now around 500lbs, shaved head, goatee)...Biker dude is a frequent mis-evaluation. But that is totally from those who don't know me at all. With those who get to know me, I frequently get the opposite stereotype...Jolly old fat man. Though closer to reality, it's still not me.


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## superodalisque (Jun 7, 2011)

i think people have a problem with "sassy" or "bitchy" BBWs only because she's someone who just won't take their shit. they love to throw bones at fat women who take crap and agree that they're substandard by claiming they're nice. people love encouraging women of all sizes to be self martyring doormats. i think they feel its especially easy to do with fat women who think those people are all they can get, or that they are lucky to have anyone. unfortunately there are times when some fat women agree.


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## gangstadawg (Jun 8, 2011)

superodalisque said:


> i think people have a problem with "sassy" or "bitchy" BBWs only because she's someone who just won't take their shit. they love to throw bones at fat women who take crap and agree that they're substandard by claiming they're nice. people love encouraging women of all sizes to be self martyring doormats. i think they feel its especially easy to do with fat women who think those people are all they can get, or that they are lucky to have anyone. unfortunately there are times when some fat women agree.



the question is what is "shit" or "bullshit" a person has to take? what can be considered those things can vary from person to person. i deal with this kinda stuff at my job ( i sell computer parts and help out on tech support while doing it) and i have dealt with women ( and costumers in general) that prolly would be labeled bitchy.
for example a woman wanted a windows 7 upgrade disc for her windows 95 system and i told her that windows xp or vista are the only ones that can be upgraded to windows 7 using the upgrade disc and then she wanted me to search our inventory system for a product that does NOT exist which i showed her microsofts web site about the win 7 upgrade instead to show her proof that what she wants cant be done and she would have to do a full install and her system may not meet windows 7 specs.she got mad and said that she wont take that "bullshit" info i gave her and stormed off and told my manager that she wasnt helped.

i can understand if what i was doing was giving her the run around but what i did was show her that it cant be done and told her what could be done but to her what i did was giver her "shit".


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## superodalisque (Jun 8, 2011)

gangstadawg said:


> the question is what is "shit" or "bullshit" a person has to take? what can be considered those things can vary from person to person. i deal with this kinda stuff at my job ( i sell computer parts and help out on tech support while doing it) and i have dealt with women ( and costumers in general) that prolly would be labeled bitchy.
> for example a woman wanted a windows 7 upgrade disc for her windows 95 system and i told her that windows xp or vista are the only ones that can be upgraded to windows 7 using the upgrade disc and then she wanted me to search our inventory system for a product that does NOT exist which i showed her microsofts web site about the win 7 upgrade instead to show her proof that what she wants cant be done and she would have to do a full install and her system may not meet windows 7 specs.she got mad and said that she wont take that "bullshit" info i gave her and stormed off and told my manager that she wasnt helped.
> 
> i can understand if what i was doing was giving her the run around but what i did was show her that it cant be done and told her what could be done but to her what i did was giver her "shit".



sure, there is always someone who gives someone crap especially in a retail situation. but thats a whole lot different than what i'm talking about. fat women are generally expected to lay down for anything people throw at them. they're supposed to sacrifice their health well being and self esteem. thats quite a bit different than people being frustrated because they can't get something they want to happen in a product and walking away five minutes later in a huff. what fat women go through would be like that woman being with you nearly 24/7 harping on the very same thing all of th time--no let up. that woman wasn't asking you to change who you were. she just wanted a product.

i think the major problem for women is that they are expected to actually BE that product in ways that men are not. in society in general its accepted to prescribe what each and every fat woman should be. the major problem with that is generally speaking none of it includes any caring for what a fat woman actually wants.


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## PhiloGirl (Jun 8, 2011)

Surlysomething said:


> I've been called "intimidating" a lot. Not bitchy or sassy.
> 
> I guess you can all live in fear. Haha.



OMG, I'll never forget my freshman year of high school, when some girl actually signed my yearbook "I used to be afraid of you..." and it bothered me for so long! I was utterly timid and sweet my freshman year of high school - and if I was the fattest girl in school, this girl was 2nd (and gorgeous, I might add)... so WTF... I still wonder about that comment, obviously.


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## Tori (Jun 8, 2011)

Ugh, I'm so sick of being told that I have a bitchy attitude because I'm fat. No, I have a bitchy attitude when I'm tired/sick/annoyed/cranky. It doesn't matter what size I am. Lol. I'd be the same no matter WHAT size I am.


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## spiritangel (Jun 8, 2011)

I have lost count of how many people see my posts on dimms or see my pics and think total sweetheart no backbone, will put up with anything cause she is fat

my ex told me during the post break up stuff that I made a mockery of the adage "Fat girls are easy" as in easy to be with because he pretty much failed to fullfill every promise he ever made to me, showed me little respect and was a jerk a large portion of the time and I called him on it at times and told him I wasnt impressed by it 

ie there is an expectation of us just putting up with bad behaviour I am sure skinny girls get it as well


case in point I had a brief chat on a dating site yesterday

a man was enraged that I DARED to have Non Smokers only please in my introduction

he was well built (well his pic only showed his chest so he could have been ugly as sin but he did have an ego)

He told me my thinking was completely wrong and that by ruling out smokers I would end up with second best 

I told him the Truth I am worth the very best wont settle for second bestand some guy is going to be damn lucky to have me.

He then pulled this reverse crap on me and was like I am not a smoker but I wanted you to see it from their side

he also played the overweight card but your overweight you shouldnt be so choosy
turned around again and was like but I am a smoker

my retort was that at least I wasnt an arrogant arsehole

sorry but I have self confidence and self esteem and goodbye and have a nice life

The FA I met a couple of months back was shocked when we started talking because I have a wicked sense of humour and that Aussie habbit of razzing friends

again thanks to a video or two and some dimms posts there was an expectation of sweetness and light and that I would put up with anything 

If it makes me a bitch to want a partnership, where I am treated with love, respect and compassion just as I would treat the man I am with, where I dont want to sweep problems under the carpet but deal with them and where I know I am worthy of deep love, affection, passion and wont settle for less

then I am a bitch or high maintanance or any other lable that someone wants to throw at me because they dont know how to handle who I am.

What is sad is that its those people who say these things who seem to shout the loudest at times.

I wont sit there and take passive agressive behaviour lightly, I wont let someone manipulate me emotionally or treat me poorly nor will I settle for lack of chemistry or crumbs of affection

If that makes me a fussy bitch so be it

I am worth it. I know some man will truly be lucky to have me in his life and I would hope when I do meet him that I feel truly lucky and blessed to have him in mine.

I am sure there are some complete bitches out there just as there are some complete bastards but until you get to know someone you have no idea truly who they are and even then there is often a deep hurt underlying the behaviour not always after all some people are just born that way.

I had this as my facebook status last week after discussing this issue with a friend "I have theory high maitance and needy is code for I cant handle her"

hmm think I have rambled enough for now hope I made my point and its not just a jumble of words


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## superodalisque (Jun 8, 2011)

spiritangel said:


> "I have theory high maitance and needy is code for I cant handle her"



yeah it does pretty much mean "i'm too lazy to do the minimum in a relationship--even reciprocate".


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## penguin (Jun 8, 2011)

superodalisque said:


> yeah it does pretty much mean "i'm too lazy to do the minimum in a relationship--even reciprocate".



I disagree. Some women are high maintenance, some are low. Neither is a bad thing in and of itself. We all have different standards and expectations for relationships, and all that matters is what works for us. There's nothing wrong with being high or low maintenance, but you have to admit some women expect a lot more out of their relationships than others. A woman who expects only the best of everything, to be lavished with attention and expensive gifts and won't go out without perfect hair, make up and dress is someone I would consider high maintenance. YMMV and so on.

Sometimes people pull out the high maintenance card because they don't want to give what the other person wants, though that other person isn't actually asking for anything much, so it can be a case of them being lazy.


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## CastingPearls (Jun 9, 2011)

spiritangel said:


> If it makes me a bitch to want a partnership, where I am treated with love, respect and compassion just as I would treat the man I am with, where I don't want to sweep problems under the carpet but deal with them and where I know I am worthy of deep love, affection, passion and wont settle for less
> 
> then I am a bitch or high maintenance or any other label that someone wants to throw at me because they don't know how to handle who I am.
> 
> ...



I have to laugh at how high-maintenance is defined very differently by different people; Men who don't think the woman is worth it. Men who think they aren't worth it themselves and I also have to laugh at how often women use it against each other when vying for a man's attention ie; look at me, a lot less trouble, a lot less demands, what a bargain! etc.

I am absolutely high-maintenance in the respect where my level of expectation for love and attention is exactly lavish to coin a word because that's what I give in return. I bring a great deal to the table and want someone as equally matched as possible. Settling is not an option.

I DON'T require anyone to be a millionaire or buy me diamonds and pearls in order to buy or obtain my love. That's earned over time with love, affection and respect. Anything else is just frosting. I DO take good care of myself FOR myself and it shows. The appearance of superficiality is very deceiving especially to those who delude themselves into believing the worst of someone rather than the best, so they can feel better about their own shortcomings.

Men don't respect women who don't respect or value themselves. They MAY pay attention for a short time and then move on to the next easy available woman looking for attention or an equal cheap thrill. Those are the men I don't want and those are the men those women are welcome to have. 

YMMV


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## Pitch (Jun 9, 2011)

spiritangel said:


> I have lost count of how many people see my posts on dimms or see my pics and think total sweetheart no backbone, will put up with anything cause she is fat
> 
> my ex told me during the post break up stuff that I made a mockery of the adage "Fat girls are easy" as in easy to be with because he pretty much failed to fullfill every promise he ever made to me, showed me little respect and was a jerk a large portion of the time and I called him on it at times and told him I wasnt impressed by it
> 
> ...



Repped. _Hard_.


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## Surlysomething (Jun 9, 2011)

Y'all need to condense your epic posts. I have no attention span.

Haha.


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## bigmac (Jun 9, 2011)

Sassy women tend to be low maintenance -- this is they can take care of their own shit.

Bitchy is almost by definition high maintenance -- when faced with an obstacle or inconvenience a bitchy person will complain rather than just take care of things.

My rule of thumb -- if you can't leave your significant other alone for six months she's too high maintenance. If a person can't take care of life's day to day stuff while you're away she's not much of a partner.


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## SarahLaughsAlot (Jun 9, 2011)

i believe in an equal partnership. lol call me normal! i mean i do like high maintenance activities like getting my nails done, pedicures, and shopping til i drop. but i work and i pay for those things i would never expect my significant other to pay for those things. Even though most girls won't admit it we do those things for them =). All though i am not cheap and i am a very classy girl. i do work and take pride in my appearance so that who ever i'm with will be proud that i'm with them, and no this isn't an attack on people who don't get their hair done and tan, and other things, but it's personal i like those things. it's all on what you like and the kind of people you date =)


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## RoseVivaciou (Jun 9, 2011)

I tend to be on the side of the 'token joker fat bird' the one where they say shes a big girl, nice face and funny. Early 20s this would extend to if the other female friends of mine who got themselves in trouble, would then call me over to stand behind them to scare of people who were wanting to smack them. needless to say they arent my friends anymore.

As for the "she carries it well" 

Most time I am the charmer, feisty and blunt. Not because of my size, more a genetic thing from generations of feisty women who speak their mind nowt to do with my size. My size just fog horns it.


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## ConnieLynn (Jun 9, 2011)

I'm sassy. Been sassy since birth. Also opinionated, stubborn, and sometimes bossy I can be incredibly sweet as well. None of which came about from me being fat.

I stand up for myself. That's not bitchy. It's confidence and self-respect.

I resent being put in a position where I have to bitch. If I feel myself going there, I walk away. If I'm in a relationship and find myself bitching, it's because the relationship is out of balance and it's time to fix it or bail.

This fat girl ain't easy or bitchy, but I can be pretty damn jolly


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## superodalisque (Jun 9, 2011)

penguin said:


> I disagree. Some women are high maintenance, some are low. Neither is a bad thing in and of itself. We all have different standards and expectations for relationships, and all that matters is what works for us. There's nothing wrong with being high or low maintenance, but you have to admit some women expect a lot more out of their relationships than others. A woman who expects only the best of everything, to be lavished with attention and expensive gifts and won't go out without perfect hair, make up and dress is someone I would consider high maintenance. YMMV and so on.
> 
> Sometimes people pull out the high maintenance card because they don't want to give what the other person wants, though that other person isn't actually asking for anything much, so it can be a case of them being lazy.




in this case i was thinking of being loved and respected and being with someone i can love and respect. whatever that means for someone, i don't feel its too much. the feeling of mutual respect has to be there. i don't believe in the high maintenance or low maintenance stuff. however, i do believe that different people have different requirements to set the groundwork for mutual respect and that can't be ignored long term.


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## hiddenexposure (Jun 9, 2011)

FatAndProud said:


> GAH! I can't give you rep! lol


Jaime to the rescue!


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## FatAndProud (Jun 10, 2011)

hiddenexposure said:


> Jaime to the rescue!



I knew someone would have my back


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## littlefairywren (Jun 10, 2011)

Based on a lot of the opinions in this thread, I guess I must fall under the high maintenance category. Both in respect for myself as a woman and the belief that I am worthy of my partners love. Not only am I aware of what I have to offer in my love for him, but know that what I have to offer is of true value, and not shared with all and sundry. 

The fact that I love getting my nails done, like doing my hair and makeup each day pretty much seals the deal. I doubt very much that my SO views me as high maintenance though. Interestingly it would probably be other females that would have that opinion. Not exactly sassy, and only bitchy if I am pushed to my limits and whomever sees that side of me probably deserved it by then.


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## anneblithe (Jun 10, 2011)

I think most of the time, I get categorized as "sweet." I get comments like, "You're always smiling!" and hear the "Awwww..." comments tossed around a bit. This is all fine and well- I am pretty accepting of others and supportive. I don't mind it until I am confused with a doormat. Sweet? Yes. Ready to give up my last shred of dignity to meet some twisted ego need another person has? No. The truth of the matter is that I love to argue about things that don't matter (It's fun). I tell people when they're standing on my nerves. None of this makes any difference though. In the end, people describe me as sweet, and then if I'm lucky, maybe smart. I wouldn't mind being identified with a bit of sassiness. Bring it on!


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## SarahLaughsAlot (Jun 10, 2011)

anneblithe said:


> I think most of the time, I get categorized as "sweet." I get comments like, "You're always smiling!" and hear the "Awwww..." comments tossed around a bit. This is all fine and well- I am pretty accepting of others and supportive. I don't mind it until I am confused with a doormat. Sweet? Yes. Ready to give up my last shred of dignity to meet some twisted ego need another person has? No. The truth of the matter is that I love to argue about things that don't matter (It's fun). I tell people when they're standing on my nerves. None of this makes any difference though. In the end, people describe me as sweet, and then if I'm lucky, maybe smart. I wouldn't mind being identified with a bit of sassiness. Bring it on!



i often get the sweet card to, and i too always have a smile. i mean i don't think that being sassy is a bad thing. sometimes i wish i had the nerve to be sassy! lol


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## luscious_lulu (Jun 10, 2011)

Sasquatch! said:


> You're all my bitches.



Is that a promise? :batting:


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## luscious_lulu (Jun 10, 2011)

Sassy and bitchy are two very different things. I think people often mistake outspoken with bitchy. 

I am sassy, outspoken and at times bitchy. None of which is necessarily a bad trait. Even bitchy has it's place. For the most part I am a sweet woman who is respectful of other people. I have an extremely low tolerance for bullshit and stupid people, though. I was raised to speak my mind and not to be afraid to have an opinion and not to make excuses for my opinions. Oddly enough it was my father who encourage me to be this way.


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## butch (Jun 10, 2011)

I think there are different types of high maintenance, and for me, the attention to grooming and appearance is not what I worry about when I worry about high maintenance, nor people who demand respect and reciprocracity from their partners. The high maintenance that I shy away from (and is something men and women have in equal number) are the people who are emotionally high maintenance in a stagnant, self-centered way, bordering on a personality disorder focus on the self and inability to grow.

Those people, who can't function without using you as a mirror to reflect their emotionally imature view of themselves and the world (the revolves only around them) are the kinds of high maintenance that I can do without. I have had experience in the past with people like this, and am glad now that I'm better at avoiding them.

I think strong relationships demand a kind of 'high maintenance' on the part of both people. I want to maintain a damn good relationship, and I'll do what I need to do, as long as my partner is equally invested in the relationship. That is the least I can do to insure a relationship that holds together through it all, to the end.


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## hiddenexposure (Jun 10, 2011)

anneblithe said:


> I think most of the time, I get categorized as "sweet." I get comments like, "You're always smiling!" and hear the "Awwww..." comments tossed around a bit. This is all fine and well- I am pretty accepting of others and supportive. I don't mind it until I am confused with a doormat. Sweet? Yes. Ready to give up my last shred of dignity to meet some twisted ego need another person has? No. The truth of the matter is that I love to argue about things that don't matter (It's fun). I tell people when they're standing on my nerves. None of this makes any difference though. In the end, people describe me as sweet, and then if I'm lucky, maybe smart. I wouldn't mind being identified with a bit of sassiness. Bring it on!



I get this too... a great deal


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## luscious_lulu (Jun 10, 2011)

butch said:


> I think there are different types of high maintenance, and for me, the attention to grooming and appearance is not what I worry about when I worry about high maintenance, nor people who demand respect and reciprocracity from their partners. The high maintenance that I shy away from (and is something men and women have in equal number) are the people who are emotionally high maintenance in a stagnant, self-centered way, bordering on a personality disorder focus on the self and inability to grow.
> 
> Those people, who can't function without using you as a mirror to reflect their emotionally imature view of themselves and the world (the revolves only around them) are the kinds of high maintenance that I can do without. I have had experience in the past with people like this, and am glad now that I'm better at avoiding them.
> 
> I think strong relationships demand a kind of 'high maintenance' on the part of both people. I want to maintain a damn good relationship, and I'll do what I need to do, as long as my partner is equally invested in the relationship. That is the least I can do to insure a relationship that holds together through it all, to the end.



I agree with this 100% butch.


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## superodalisque (Jun 10, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> Men don't respect women who don't respect or value themselves. They MAY pay attention for a short time and then move on to the next easy available woman looking for attention or an equal cheap thrill. Those are the men I don't want and those are the men those women are welcome to have.
> 
> YMMV



here here!!!!


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## superodalisque (Jun 10, 2011)

luscious_lulu said:


> I agree with this 100% butch.



me too!!!!


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## bostonguy (Jun 11, 2011)

I thinking monitroing attitude is a big thing. But I also think people have the attitude of what they do because what has happened to them in life. I would consider myself a short cute guy with a few extra pounds. Not fat or thin, I havegood family and friends that have stuck with me. The do point out on ocassion I can be mean or bitchy which I consider true myself. So, I am trying to work on it. I do tell them I will always be sarcastic! And they are cool with that. 

P.S. I prefer sassy mature big girls.


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## russianrobot (Jun 11, 2011)

"*sizeist*"?!?!?!?

what the fuck is that word?


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## ConnieLynn (Jun 11, 2011)

russianrobot said:


> "*sizeist*"?!?!?!?
> 
> what the fuck is that word?



Really?

Sizeist: a person who discriminates against people based on their size


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## CastingPearls (Jun 11, 2011)

Google search is still working last time I checked, right?


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## ThikJerseyChik (Jun 11, 2011)

penguin said:


>



So happy I can Rep you~!


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## ThikJerseyChik (Jun 11, 2011)




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## Pitch (Jun 13, 2011)

ThikJerseyChik said:


>




I am so stealing this.


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## JulianDW (Jun 13, 2011)

Today in my American Literature class we discussed this topic (without the 'fat' aspect) while we were on the subject of feminism. This concept of bitchy/sassy girls gained some notoriety when womens' rights activist wanted equality in things such as voting rights and education. People against this movement didn't think women should be acting 'out their place'(or 'bitchy/sassy'), when in reality the feminist just wanted the same rights as the people who were usually the ones opposing them. We also dicussed how feminism is actually a branch off humanism because they both deal with how to treat people... sooo I've come to the conclusion that anyone who doesn't like sassy girls, just doesn't like humanity.


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## Gspoon (Jun 13, 2011)

It isn't as much the weight when it comes to seeking a relationship though. One would think that the physical appearance would be what started the kindling, but the personality is what lives within the rest of that flame.

Some people like sass and others don't. I do every now and then, but in reality I don't care what they are like or what they do, as long as they know I love them and they love me. Sassy/Bitchy fat girls are so funny sometimes though! They say some of the most hilarious stuff, and they will laugh with you. So in reality, I can say sassy fat girls are awesome 

Besides... sassyness generally leads to keeping me on my toes, which will keep the relationship alive... for me at least


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## gangstadawg (Jun 14, 2011)

Gspoon said:


> It isn't as much the weight when it comes to seeking a relationship though. One would think that the physical appearance would be what started the kindling, but the personality is what lives within the rest of that flame.
> 
> Some people like sass and others don't. I do every now and then, but in reality I don't care what they are like or what they do, as long as they know I love them and they love me. Sassy/Bitchy fat girls are so funny sometimes though! They say some of the most hilarious stuff, and they will laugh with you. So in reality, I can say sassy fat girls are awesome
> 
> Besides... sassyness generally leads to keeping me on my toes, which will keep the relationship alive... for me at least



sassyness and bitchiness are not the same thing. i can tolerate sassyness to an extent but bitchiness or diva-ish attitudes i dont and i consider them both to be in the same line as being a asshole or a dick.


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## Amatrix (Jun 14, 2011)

Just another sassy/bitchy fat chick checking in...

How you doin' girlfran?

People assume many things about me, but learn I am really nice. I have an edge to me that came out when I learned the internet was not always my personal hug box... and just because someone thinks I am pretty doesn't mean I have to be nice to them when they abuse my kindness. I have no problem letting people get away with a few mistakes, but sometimes I do get to the bitch mode when I just can no longer handle it and no longer want to.
Do I consider myself high maintenance? No, because I generally learn more about people then they do about me, and I enjoy being single/personal time. Diva... no, I dont demand or expect things from people and generally am not let down because of this.

So thank you internet and other bitches out there for helping me.:wubu:

Sassy for life.
Outspoken because I have the right to be.
And bitchy when I have a reason.


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## russianrobot (Jun 14, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> Google search is still working last time I checked, right?



that's not really the point,

its just a stupid sounding word, yeah say it real fast, or in a loud bar/club and see how many people mistake it for racist LoL

was there a problem with size acceptance? fat acceptance?

we just needed a new word with "ist" to describe a certain segment of the population?

more fun stuff from the under 25 crowd hahah


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## russianrobot (Jun 14, 2011)

gangstadawg said:


> sassyness and bitchiness are not the same thing. i can tolerate sassyness to an extent but bitchiness or diva-ish attitudes i dont and i consider them both to be in the same line as being a asshole or a dick.



you are 1000% correct sir


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## CastingPearls (Jun 14, 2011)

russianrobot said:


> that's not really the point,
> 
> its just a stupid sounding word, yeah say it real fast, or in a loud bar/club and see how many people mistake it for racist LoL
> 
> ...


Yeah I see your point but I don't use words based on how well they're received in a loud bar/pub. There are lots of stupid things besides words that thrive in those place though. 

PS--Um...Google again..the word was coined back in the 80's at least so the under 25 crowd? Try again.


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## OneWickedAngel (Jun 14, 2011)

Being sassy, bitchy or just a bitch, is in the eye of the beholder. 

Being sassy will get the point across without causing butthurt.

_OMG you really like SuckyBandName? Fine -it's your car- when in Rome, but ugh!_​
Being bitchy may (intentionally) cause some butthurt, but generally not want to make someone want to use a backhand. 

_Really? SuckyBandName sucks! Major loss of respect points! C'mon, they're worse than SuckierBandName! You seriously need to change the ish before my aural cavities fill with hemoglobin._​
Being a bitch shoves the point without lube, regardless. 

_WTF?! No @#%*^ing way I'm listening to SuckyBandName! Only a/an &%$#@ would listen to that! Oh wait, you listen to it? * Press eject and tosses CD* Not any more._​
And none of it has damned thing to do with being fat. We have so much of a hard time trying to win because _the ubiquitous they_ keep thinking we're losers in everything but weight. We're either belligerent or we're jolly. We're jolly, but really we're the sad clown. The reason we are sad is because we're too lazy to be belligerent. Grrr!


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## LovelyLiz (Jun 15, 2011)

Every time I read the title to this thread, I keep wishing it was a pic thread. I'd have some contributions.


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## Pitch (Jun 16, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> Every time I read the title to this thread, I keep wishing it was a pic thread. I'd have some contributions.




We could totally turn it into one? 8D


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## russianrobot (Jun 17, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> Yeah I see your point but I don't use words based on how well they're received in a loud bar/pub. There are lots of stupid things besides words that thrive in those place though.
> 
> PS--Um...Google again..the word was coined back in the 80's at least so the under 25 crowd? Try again.



So you are so intent on proving me wrong..

I goggled it

The First Google result is Dictionary.com And your right its there....But if you read real close at the bottom you will see this:

"Dictionary.com's _21st Century Lexicon_
Copyright © 2003-2011 Dictionary.com, LLC"

oh and there is this the citation's page:

*American Psychological Association (APA)*:
sizeist. (n.d.). Dictionary.com's 21st Century Lexicon. Retrieved June 17, 2011, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sizeist

*Chicago Manual Style* (CMS):
sizeist. Dictionary.com. Dictionary.com's 21st Century Lexicon. 

Dictionary.com, LLC. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sizeist (accessed: June 17, 2011).

*Modern Language Association *(MLA):
"sizeist." Dictionary.com's 21st Century Lexicon. Dictionary.com, LLC. 17 Jun. 2011. <Dictionary.com http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sizeist>.

*Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers* (IEEE):
Dictionary.com, "sizeist," in Dictionary.com's 21st Century Lexicon. Source location: Dictionary.com, LLC. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sizeist. 

Available: http://dictionary.reference.com. Accessed: June 17, 2011.
BibTeX Bibliography Style (BibTeX)
@article {Dictionary.com2011,
title = {Dictionary.com's 21st Century Lexicon},
month = {Jun},
day = {17},
year = {2011},
url = {http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sizeist}, 


It seems to have appeared on "New Words & Slangs" on *Merriam-Webster* in 2009

http://www3.merriam-webster.com/opendictionary/newword_display_alpha.php?letter=S&last=770

And The *Urban Dictornar*y in 2010

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sizeist

Thanks for having me Try again. 


P.S. Can you show me your source where you found it was being used in the 80'?? I mean I went back pages and could not find anything before 2002. You know it is okay to be wrong sometimes. We all are on occasion you know.

Anywhoo,

Have a wonderful summer


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## CastingPearls (Jun 17, 2011)

I consider the fact that you were compelled to utilize Google, a public service to everyone at Dimensions.

I don't have to be right and you don't have to be deliberately obtuse and combative. 

You have a nice summer too!


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## TraciJo67 (Jun 17, 2011)

bigmac said:


> Sassy women tend to be low maintenance -- this is they can take care of their own shit.
> 
> Bitchy is almost by definition high maintenance -- when faced with an obstacle or inconvenience a bitchy person will complain rather than just take care of things.
> 
> My rule of thumb -- if you can't leave your significant other alone for six months she's too high maintenance. If a person can't take care of life's day to day stuff while you're away she's not much of a partner.


 
What the bloody litmus test hell?!?!? Who have you been hanging out with? Children?

If you've been with women who cannot look after themselves for ANY period of time at all (reference: adults) ... I don't think I'd be advertising that fact here. While I'm confused and vaguely annoyed by the point you're trying to make, I'm also wondering why such a woman would make it past the first date with you.


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## Pitch (Jun 19, 2011)

russianrobot said:


> So you are so intent on proving me wrong..
> 
> I goggled it
> 
> ...




The internet made you stupid.


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## NurseVicki (Jun 19, 2011)

interesting topic guess I can be sassy or bitchy at times depending on the situation I try not to be bitchy but it may happen when I get stressed Wink Thanks for all the opinions! I think i am more fun loving!


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## Dr. Feelgood (Jun 19, 2011)

What we say often reveals more about us than about who we're talking about. I wonder if the terms "sassy" and "bitchy" are less about female behavior than about male ideas of control?


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## Pitch (Jun 19, 2011)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> What we say often reveals more about us than about who we're talking about. I wonder if the terms "sassy" and "bitchy" are less about female behavior than about male ideas of control?



Clarify, perhaps?


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## Dr. Feelgood (Jun 19, 2011)

Pitch said:


> Clarify, perhaps?



It just seems to me that -- among my male acquaintances, anyway -- the terms "sassy" and "bitchy" are most frequently applied to women who impress me as being independent and self-sufficient. This is just anecdotal evidence, and wholly unscientific, but I wonder if anyone else has observed something similar?


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## ConnieLynn (Jun 19, 2011)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> It just seems to me that -- among my male acquaintances, anyway -- the terms "sassy" and "bitchy" are most frequently applied to women who impress me as being independent and self-sufficient. This is just anecdotal evidence, and wholly unscientific, but I wonder if anyone else has observed something similar?



A woman is sassy until she doesn't put up with crap, then she's bitchy


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## Pitch (Jun 20, 2011)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> It just seems to me that -- among my male acquaintances, anyway -- the terms "sassy" and "bitchy" are most frequently applied to women who impress me as being independent and self-sufficient. This is just anecdotal evidence, and wholly unscientific, but I wonder if anyone else has observed something similar?



Oh yes, I definitely see what you mean. I hear it described a lot for women who aren't submissive. So to speak. Add "Whore/slut/lesbian" to it and they use them all in some secret lexicon of female based insults to describe feminists.


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## russianrobot (Jun 21, 2011)

*Sassy/Bitchy fat girls.*



Pitch said:


> --Of which I am one.



Congratulations, your Roseanne Barr


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## Pitch (Jun 23, 2011)

russianrobot said:


> *Sassy/Bitchy fat girls.*
> 
> 
> 
> Congratulations, your Roseanne Barr




Congratulations, you're trying so hard I can smell burning hair. Go off somewhere, have a seat, a glass of milk and enjoy your Peanutbutthurt&uJelly sandwich. Because you cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck I do not give at the moment.

Also, Roseanne Barr kicks ass. Deuces.


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## VeronicaVaughn (Jun 23, 2011)

I've definitely received the bitch comment but I think it really just boils down to how I'm treated by said person. I've reached a point in my life where I don't really have patience of the energy to put up with someone who cannot respect me as an individual. The word bitch is thrown around so loosely anyhow that it seldom offends me these days anyhow.


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## The Orange Mage (Jun 24, 2011)

A sassy woman is one who puts others in their place. A bitchy woman is one who puts YOU in your place.


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## russianrobot (Jun 24, 2011)

Pitch said:


> Congratulations, you're trying so hard I can smell burning hair. Go off somewhere, have a seat, a glass of milk and enjoy your Peanutbutthurt&uJelly sandwich. Because you cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck I do not give at the moment.
> 
> Also, Roseanne Barr kicks ass. Deuces.



Well you cared enough to respond :smitten:


What happen to your other avatar pic? I loved the Urban Sombrero you were wearing. 

Is Peanutbutthurt&uJelly' another one of these 'hip' new words?? Or something they just say or dare I say do down Kentucky way?

(Yeah I know Roseanne Barr kicks ass I was watching her before you were born. In Fact on the topic on Fat 80's Stars who were both Sassy & Bitchy and cool enough to date Iggy Pop you gotta Love Dianne Brill....)

But seriously, Have a Nice Day  

View attachment 72-75.dianne.brill.1.jpg


View attachment #1 Elvira & Diane Brill Cheesecake.jpg


View attachment 16803832.jpg


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## SillyLady (Jun 24, 2011)

I did not read all of the replies. So, I apologize if my input has been reiterated a million and two times already. When I read the original post, it made me sit here and ponder for a moment. 

I am not sweet because I have been treated like dirt. Because honestly, I have never really been mistreated (unless you count relationships I have been in) by the public eye. But then again, I tend to be oblivious because I just don't care. I think I am beautiful inside and out. 

I have never been a "bitchy' individual but that is because it just is not my demeanor. Psychologically speaking, there is some truth to how one portrays themself after huge amounts of hurt. Everyone reacts differently. 

Some people are naturally sweet or bitchy sometimes.

But I really found the original post to be quite intriguing and thought provoking. Thanks!! This will probably be on my mind for a while now.


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## Pitch (Jun 24, 2011)

russianrobot said:


> Well you cared enough to respond :smitten:
> 
> 
> What happen to your other avatar pic? I loved the Urban Sombrero you were wearing.
> ...



I ditched the old pic for the new one. Needed something new. 


Also lol "urban sombrero"? ..For real?


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## zabadguy (Jun 24, 2011)

I'll say this "Sassy and Bitchy" in my eyes are very appealing traits,it tells me you have a mind of your own and are not going to be some "sheep' who follows everything someone says...it also provides a bit of a challenge,to which everyone really needs,so i say continue on being "Sassy and Bitchy" if are and if you are not,try itif you don't like it I know I will.....:eat2:


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## russianrobot (Jun 25, 2011)

Pitch said:


> I ditched the old pic for the new one. Needed something new.
> 
> 
> Also lol "urban sombrero"? ..For real?



Well the new Pic is great, serious you have Kick-ass eyes. The Urban Sombrero was something that Elaine came up on Seinfeld. 

Great topic by the way (the original one you started) I have a tendency to digress forgive me 

keep up the fight!


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## genevathistime (Sep 7, 2011)

I was a *bitch *when I was thinner and I'm a *bitch *now. I might just be a *bitch* until the day I die.

Oh well.


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## seavixen (Sep 16, 2011)

It seems like no matter WHAT my behaviour is (and I run the full course), there's always going to be someone who's going to decide it's somehow based upon my size.

If you're funny, it's because of that old fat = hilarious stereotype. Really, any sort of pleasant personality is you "compensating" for your fatness. To get people to like you. Because, really, who would, right?

If you're sarcastic / bitchy / sassy / anything that CAN be perceived as negative (I am so not going to dissect them; it's all relative) then it's because you're jealous, bitter, lonely... you know, all of those things that all fat people must be, because nobody likes them.

I'm really picky about who I spend my time with. I like to be around people I'm comfortable with, and if a social occasion is going to include people who irritate me (or what have you), then I'll generally bow out of it. I've been accused of being jealous for this reason so many times... really? If the person who rubs me the wrong way is a slender woman, I am automatically jealous? Feh. Maybe I don't like being around her because she's a skank and I don't want to hear about her breaking up marriages and buying shoes?

There's an automatic assumption that I think just comes down to a deep-seated prejudice. People assume that a fat person's life or lack thereof MUST revolve around their fatness. Every decision I make must be affected by how fat I am, since it must just bother the crap out of me every hour of my life, warp my emotional state, and shape my personality.

Does it, to a degree? I think everyone is affected by their environment, the way they are treated, and so forth - but, then, I think that people who have a sizeist attitude tend to think that ALL experiences a fat person has must ultimately be a result of their fatness.

I'm pretty sure most people who have anti-fat attitudes are a lot more obsessed with my fat than I am. 

And... some people consider strength of character to be a negative regardless of manners and so forth, so... whatever.


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## thatgirl08 (Sep 17, 2011)

I'm definitely sassy/bitchy. Generally people either think it's hilarious or they want to punch me in the face.. usually depending on whether it's directed at them or not. I'm a lot less confrontational and bitchy then I used to be though.. I've really been working on toning it down a little. It's hard for me though because I find it very difficult to navigate standing up for myself vs out right being a bitch. I think I've gotten better at it, but it's a struggle. In general I feel pretty disrespected by the people in my life but I'm legitimately not sure if I just overreact or not. I probably do, I tend to get emotional about things. So I guess I'm trying to forgive people more.. but I also worry I'm letting people walk all over me. One thing I've really noticed lately that the people in my social circle who are most well liked are also the most used. My best friend/roommate especially falls into this category. She spends a lot of her money on other people.. yet shes a few thousands dollars in debt and her credit is completely wrecked. Shes a manager at her job and is really lax about letting people call in sick, be late, leave early, etc. and often finds herself staying late to make up for other peoples work. She'll pretty much let anyone borrow any of her stuff.. her clothes and shoes, her iPod, her car even.. and so often stuff comes back to her ruined or doesn't even make it back to her. She makes people promises all the time, she refuses to say no.. but also finds herself with minimal free time. Yet when her birthday came around, only like 30 people came to her party.. we invited around 120. Only me and two other people went out to the bar with her to buy her drinks. Only my mom and a handful of our close friends bought her presents or cards. I found it disheartening that so many people were only around when it benefited them. Is it worth being well liked if you have to sacrifice being treated well? I don't think so.. and yeah, she's an extreme example but I still find this a daily struggle in my life.. where do I draw the line? I feel like I've given more than enough chances to some of the people in my life but I keep them around for fear of having no one. Anyway I'm kind of rambling..

I don't really think this has much to do with my size. Maybe on some level I tend to stand up for myself more now because I was teased when I was a kid? I think it's too complex to say for sure. I also think I've been hurt a lot more and impacted a lot more by other things in my life than the bullying and sizeist attitudes.. I think those other experiences are more likely to have contributed to the bitchyness/sassyness.


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