# I'm pretty sure I'm "fatsexual"



## Jeff In Wichita (Aug 9, 2011)

In my life I've dated a lot and had one very long term (8yr) relationship. Every girl I've dated has been at least a little "over" weight. I had to go to a strip club with some customers a couple weeks ago and I realized that I'm not even a little bit sexually attracted to thin women. I must play-act attraction to most women around friends and clients just so that I don't appear gay. I wouldn't want to be with a thin woman any more than I'd want to be with a man. Thin women don't even turn my head. I was just at Office Depot picking up some supplies for work and three very curvy BBWs were walking in as I left. I was mesmerized. I can't not look at a rounded plump woman, but have no interest in "hot" strippers or thin traditionaly-attractive women. Now, I know that the definition of a fetish is needing some novel thing to get aroused but I don't think it's a fetish. I just have no attraction to any persons who are not female and plump. It's my SEXUALITY, not a fetish. 

Does anyone else feel this way? 

I'm not complaining. I'm proud of it and wouldn't change it if I could. Large women are so beautiful!


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## Saoirse (Aug 9, 2011)

I'm pretty sure the majority of men on this site know what you're talking about.


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## Fat Brian (Aug 9, 2011)

It doesn't seem you qualify as a "fatsexual" though. Normally the term fatsexual is applied to someone who is attracted to fat people of either gender, like a pansexual but one that only likes fat people.

You do seem to have pretty classic FA feelings, and its not a fetish if you love the person more than the fat.


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## Lamia (Aug 9, 2011)

To me a guy that prefers fat women is like a guy who prefers blondes or brunettes. It's just your preference happens to be for a body type that's despised by the majority of society and so you will be criticized for it. 

Just remember that people might mock your perference and if they do their probably not people worth your time or effort.


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## MadLordOfMilk (Aug 9, 2011)

Barring a few exceptions, I am pretty similar. That being said, my attraction to thin girls was absolutely confirmed by one particular female who was _quite_ fantastic with... Well, you know.  However, for me that is very much the exception rather than the rule.


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## JulianDW (Aug 10, 2011)

Jeff In Wichita said:


> Now, I know that the definition of a fetish is needing some novel thing to get aroused but I don't think it's a fetish. I just have no attraction to any persons who are not female and plump. It's my SEXUALITY, not a fetish.
> 
> Does anyone else feel this way?
> 
> I'm not complaining. I'm proud of it and wouldn't change it if I could. Large women are so beautiful!



I feel that way too; I have a friend who calls just about every sexual preference he doesn't consider attractive a fetish. To me thats being a little harsh and even closed minded, as if there is a sort of standard that every 'normal' person should be attracted to. To me, no two people on earth are exactly the same, so one can expect that people's preferences in partners aren't going to be exactly the same. 



Fat Brian said:


> ... and its not a fetish if you love the person more than the fat.


I like this way of thinking! ^


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## superodalisque (Aug 13, 2011)

sorry, but i don't think women of my size are despised by most of society. in my experience most of society does not despise me. i think we need to be careful not to accidentally ghettoize ourselves just because we aren't the main sexual attraction for absolutely every man on earth. 

just because the op isn't attracted sexually to thin women it would not mean he despises them. and it doesn't mean he never met a fat woman he could despise. i think most men who aren't attracted to fat women, in particular, don't actually despise them. if they do they are some ignorant immature person if they think any female owes it to them to always be someone they must be sexually attracted to. tg i don't personally deal with too many people like that who have such a narrow view of womanhood and the purpose in life of women as a whole. most people don't give a damn. they're too busy looking for the people they ARE actually attracted to and trying to get along in a world that's hard on them too in different ways.


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## superodalisque (Aug 13, 2011)

i think it depends on how the guy interacts with the person that makes it a fetish. if there is no human connection then its a fetish. if its only focus on the object/objectification then its a fetish. if there is respect and human connection its not a fetish. i think a man whose focus is so called "average" women can have that as a fetish just as well as any other man can have a fetish for something considered outside of the ordinary. it depends on the specific case and the specific person. as long as she is first foremost and always a complete person to you, then no, you aren't a fetishist.


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## SoVerySoft (Aug 13, 2011)

I actually really like the term fatsexual. So many people dislike the term "FA" and this seems like a great alternative.


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## The Orange Mage (Aug 13, 2011)

I heard the term from Blackjack and I love it as well. It explains things pretty damn simply, at least in my case.


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## Blackjack (Aug 13, 2011)

The Orange Mage said:


> I heard the term from Blackjack and I love it as well. It explains things pretty damn simply, at least in my case.



I used "liposexual"... I don't think I've ever said "fatsexual".

But hey, I like this one too. Even though my term is classier and eats with a pinky up and all that fancy shit.


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## mossystate (Aug 13, 2011)

lol...yes, I would laugh if some man used that term with me


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## superodalisque (Aug 13, 2011)

mossystate said:


> lol...yes, I would laugh if some man used that term with me



yeah, i would think it was pretty weird too. what the heck is fat sexuality anyway? i'm human. i'm sexual. i happen to be fat. big deal. i think it sounds goofy and creepy. people who have sex with a fat partner are pretty average to me in a country where over 60% of people are fat. i wish people would stop trying to make me and other fat folks into some outside sex or something.


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## SoVerySoft (Aug 14, 2011)

Personally, I like when a guy is fatsexual. I LIKE that he has the preference. And I want to know, and not wonder, if he prefers me at this size, or is simply accepting me at this size.


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## BlueBurning (Aug 14, 2011)

Jeff In Wichita said:


> In my life I've dated a lot and had one very long term (8yr) relationship. Every girl I've dated has been at least a little "over" weight. I had to go to a strip club with some customers a couple weeks ago and I realized that I'm not even a little bit sexually attracted to thin women. I must play-act attraction to most women around friends and clients just so that I don't appear gay. I wouldn't want to be with a thin woman any more than I'd want to be with a man. Thin women don't even turn my head. I was just at Office Depot picking up some supplies for work and three very curvy BBWs were walking in as I left. I was mesmerized. I can't not look at a rounded plump woman, but have no interest in "hot" strippers or thin traditionaly-attractive women. Now, I know that the definition of a fetish is needing some novel thing to get aroused but I don't think it's a fetish. I just have no attraction to any persons who are not female and plump. It's my SEXUALITY, not a fetish.
> 
> Does anyone else feel this way?
> 
> I'm not complaining. I'm proud of it and wouldn't change it if I could. Large women are so beautiful!



I'm pretty much in the same boat that I have an almost exclusive attraction to females who plump-ssbbw. Though if a smaller girl has a cute face I can be just as attracted to them as to a bigger girl.


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## superodalisque (Aug 14, 2011)

maybe it might be more important to worry less about whether a man likes a woman at her size and more about whether he likes her period. men are much more complicated than that. if a man does not like you physically he isn't going be attracted or to step to you anyway. maybe women need to get the confidence to actually believe it when a man approaches instead of having to pick apart his sexual history in order to just respond to him. compiling some kind of sexual dossier of past conquests isn't going to tell you anything about your chances if you aren't fully connected to and certain of your own desirability. just maybe men deserve a little more credit for being a total person? after all, there are a lot of women of a particular size that any man could be attracted to. there is someone for everyone unless they have nothing else to offer other than their size. if that's all she's got that's a small hand to be playing anyway--especially for the long term. who cares if he never had a fat partner before or has always exclusively had them. it tells you absolutely nothing about whats going to happen with you. you have the power to maintain and mature his interest in a fat woman forever if you truly believe in yourself. you can lose him even if you are exactly the body type he craves. 

i don't think its a guys problem. i think women just need to be less fearful and drop being so certain of their lack of feminine desirability before they even engage with a guy. there are no guarantees. there is no absolute certainty of failure or victory. exchanging one bullshit meaningless security blanket term for another is not going to make much of a difference one way or another. either it works or it doesn't. the only thing that will truly make a difference is when we, each of us, start realizing that there is nothing wrong with ANY of us and we are truly fine just the way we are whether we are fat or whether we find fat people desirable. there is no need to explain or label yourself just do what you do and live. you can't expect equality for yourself if you are engaging in the very same self marginalization you accuse others of. be the man and not the term. act don't talk. live don't philosophize. don't apologize and second guess what is already undeniably and hopefully obviously true.


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## The Orange Mage (Aug 14, 2011)

Blackjack said:


> I used "liposexual"... I don't think I've ever said "fatsexual".
> 
> But hey, I like this one too. Even though my term is classier and eats with a pinky up and all that fancy shit.



Ah shit, you're right. :doh: I had forgotten!


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## *Goofy*Girl* (Aug 14, 2011)

SoVerySoft said:


> Personally, I like when a guy is fatsexual. I LIKE that he has the preference. And I want to know, and not wonder, if he prefers me at this size, or is simply accepting me at this size.



Me too. And that is why these are the only guys I will date now.


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## Blockierer (Aug 14, 2011)

Nothing's wrong with being fatsexual.  I'm fatsexual too!
I like the term.


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## KingColt (Aug 14, 2011)

That´s the very distinction between a preference and a fetish, when it is absolutely necessary for you to get aroused, it qualifies as a fetish. That, at least, is my understanding of it. So you might as well say "I have a fat fetish".


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## bostonbbwluv (Aug 14, 2011)

Labels and names are convenient I agree, and since we primarily use language to express ourselves, it is easy to rely on labels and names, but a misunderstanding can sometimes occur when two people have a different idea of what something means. I am a confirmed FA and cannot get aroused by a thin, skinny or even slightly chubby woman. I tried in good faith to date skinny girls in my teens and early 20's to see "what I was missing" and what I missed was being true to myself. I felt like a phony dating skinny girls and it made me uncomfortable during intimate moments and I'm sure the skinny girls knew something was up--or not up, which was usually the case. My sexual preferences are hardwired and I cannot change them, nor do I want to. The heavenly mold that made me an FA has been cast, cracked and thrown away. There is such limitless freedom in embracing who and what you are and choosing to live it out every day.


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## B-Enhanced (Aug 14, 2011)

SoVerySoft said:


> Personally, I like when a guy is fatsexual. I LIKE that he has the preference. And I want to know, and not wonder, if he prefers me at this size, or is simply accepting me at this size.




I am a fatsexual and I feel this a good definition. Though, it isn't just the fat. The fat is merely another defining quality towards a visual attraction. Like blonde hair, tall, or short. From there you would want to get to know the person for like personal qualities and chemistry. I don't find every fat woman attractive

I am heterosexual first and naturally attracted to women. Within my view when I look around my preference sorts out the thin, to fat, to fattest. From there it is other attributes I find attractive such as hair, personal style and other visual markers of outward appearance. Confidence is big too.

It isn't that I can't see what is attractive about women of thinner stature but it isn't my natural attraction. Unlike other guys I know who can't see anything attractive in someone above a size 2. But the larger girls are the ones that stand out to me as if in High Definition while the rest sort of fade into the background. I see them first while the rest, attractive maybe, but not to my programming.


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## bettylulu (Aug 14, 2011)

superodalisque said:


> i don't think its a guys problem. i think women just need to be less fearful and drop being so certain of their lack of feminine desirability before they even engage with a guy. there are no guarantees. there is no absolute certainty of failure or victory. exchanging one bullshit meaningless security blanket term for another is not going to make much of a difference one way or another. either it works or it doesn't. the only thing that will truly make a difference is when we, each of us, start realizing that there is nothing wrong with ANY of us and we are truly fine just the way we are whether we are fat or whether we find fat people desirable. there is no need to explain or label yourself just do what you do and live. you can't expect equality for yourself if you are engaging in the very same self marginalization you accuse others of. be the man and not the term. act don't talk. live don't philosophize. don't apologize and second guess what is already undeniably and hopefully obviously true.



:bow: AMEN! While I am not opposed to the term fatsexual (I think its sort of cute), I completely agree with everything else. Maybe we can't counteract the overwhelming media messages of "fat=everything undesirable in the known universe", but we can be a positive example of loving yourself and feeling comfortable in your skin no matter what. 

People who like brunettes or healthy butts or athletes or tall people do not feel the need to declare it. They just prefer those types of people.


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## Blackjack (Aug 14, 2011)

Blackjack said:


> Labels describe, not define.
> 
> The sooner people realize this, the happier people will be about it.



I feel like this is relevant here.


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## MrChipz (Aug 14, 2011)

You're obviously not alone, given the number of BBW Web sites. If I were to win the megabucks lottery, I would probably open a new strip joint called The Fatted Calf, with a weekly contest aimed at finding a lady who could take the Guinness World Record away from Norma Stitz. It might never happen, but think of the fun it would measuring the candidates.


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## Tad (Aug 15, 2011)

Where I'd seen people use 'fatsexual' before, it was bisexual FA....that is, they could be attracted to fat members of either gender, but were not particularly interested in thin ones of either gender.

*shrug* As always when people coin terms, not everyone will agree on meaning.


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## Paquito (Aug 16, 2011)

Tad said:


> Where I'd seen people use 'fatsexual' before, it was bisexual FA....that is, they could be attracted to fat members of either gender, but were not particularly interested in thin ones of either gender.
> 
> *shrug* As always when people coin terms, not everyone will agree on meaning.



I find this definition to seem more accurate. It's the definition I've used when explaining it, anyway.


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## Yakatori (Aug 16, 2011)

superodalisque said:


> men deserve...more credit for being a total person...who cares if he never had a fat partner before or has always exclusively had them. it tells you absolutely nothing about whats going to happen with you...there is no absolute certainty of failure or victory...act don't talk. live don't philosophize. don't apologize and second guess what is already undeniably and hopefully obviously true.


Yes, especially the part where guys get more credit. I think: you can't/aren't ready to receive the grail if you're still coming at it like this. If you keep that up long-enough, you will end up like this. Girl's got to play it like this to get to here.


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## joemurphy (Aug 16, 2011)

Jeff In Wichita said:


> It's my SEXUALITY, not a fetish.



Dude, lose the need to categorize your self with the 'fatsexual' nonsense. Grow a pair and accept you are attracted to big girls. If your friends can't accept that, then they are not really your friends. And although physical attraction is great its what's inside the wrapper that really counts.....


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## KingColt (Aug 18, 2011)

joemurphy said:


> Dude, lose the need to categorize your self with the 'fatsexual' nonsense. Grow a pair and accept you are attracted to big girls. If your friends can't accept that, then they are not really your friends. And although physical attraction is great its what's inside the wrapper that really counts.....



/thread. Nothing else needs to be said.


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## mybluice (Aug 19, 2011)

Who knew there was 1 guy in Wichita, KS that's attracted to BBW's :huh: and yet I live only 6 miles away :doh: but met someone half the country away.....


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## athena bombshell (Sep 3, 2011)

I've never heard the term "fatsexual", I like it  I never see what people see in thin women, I mean there are pretty ones but I really don't get how they can be prefered over big women. big women are just so beautiful to mo. so soft, so much more to love!


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## Johannes (Sep 7, 2011)

I think it is quite simple. There are certain men who simply are exclusively drawn to voluptuous women! 

I have never been attracted to girls of "normal" weight. I can not feel sexually attracted to a women that has no curves. As simple as that! It does not at all mean that I dislike them. I can very much appreciate all their other qualities, including beauty, but I do not find them sexually attractive!

*However attraction to voluptuous women does not mean that I am attracted to all voluptuous women*. Size is a necessary condition for arousing my attraction, but not a sufficient condition. Their personality, behavior, intelligence and looks determine if I feel attracted to them or not. Sometimes this is immediately apparent that I am not attracted, sometimes it is something that becomes obvious during a conversation. 

Hence I don´t think fat women should feel that a man with a disposition towards fat women thereby disregard all other factors. 

At least *I* could not do that. At one occasion, I met a voluptuous girl with a smashing body and an appealing appearance but with a an attitude and personality that made me decline her offer that we should to have casual sex. I was simply not attracted to her. Many times, even when I was single and looking for a girlfriend I have passed by chances to get acquainted to fat a woman because of one or several negative factors that put me off.

I am aware that there are people of all kinds of sexual inclinations that are "trophy hunters", they just try to have sex with as many casual partners as possible. However I think they make up is just a miniscule part of the population and it is certainly not a problem just in the fat community. Hence I don´t think a fat women should feel overly worried that the man that is courting her is just seeking her fat assets and not her as a person. A good conversation normally reveals if a couple have some common ground for an explorative relationship of some kind.

I also recognize that there are a small number of men who´s preferences for obese women drives them into an obsession that results in efforts to get their partner to increase her weight way beyond what is natural even for an obese woman. Dieting is so often harmful regardless if it is intended for weight loss or weight gain.


I certainly welcome the term "*fatsexual*". I have never appreciated the term "Fat Admirer" as I don´t admire fat women per se, I am sexually attracted to them. Many fat women I certainly admire for their intellect, their stamina or their determination to remain fat despite agressive marketing and government propaganda.

However I noted that "fatsexual" is still a very very unusual word although it appears in "Urban Dictionary". It is easy to understand and the major drawback is that is latin like enaugh! 

"*Liposexual*" is not a good phrase as it refers to "fat tissue" and hence is mostly relevant for Hannibal Lecter and his few followers.

A possible name would be "*obesusexual*" or *"hetroobesusexual"/"homoobesusexual"*. The drawback might be that many women in the "Fat Community" refers to themselves as fat but few as obese. 

Another possibility is *"corpulentusexual"* but it is a bit difficult so say and the phrase corpulent in English is almost exclusively used for description of men.

*"Voluptusexual*" has the drawback that "voluptuosus" in latin means delightful and does not refer to an abundant female body as "voluptouos" does in English.

So my own preference (without being any scholar in Latin) would be *"obesusexual"

So all SSBBW´s and BBW´s; would you like if the men that are attracted to you would be referred to as obesusexual men? Or "fatsxual"?
*


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## lushluv (Sep 8, 2011)

Do we really have to label this attraction? And who are we labeling it for?

Why can't a guy just walk up to me and say, 'Hi, I think you're pretty, wanna go to dinner and a high azz movie?'


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