# Is it a "buyer's market" for FAs when it comes to BBW?



## CadorBolin (Dec 6, 2007)

When I started to date larger women about 10 years ago, I didn't find it nearly as difficult to get women to go out with me as compared to when I was in college where I limited myself to 'skinny' women. I attributed that to the fact that society tells people they should reject "fat" women--so with less available men being willing to be with women of size the laws of supply and demand take effect. A half-decent looking FA could get himself a harem of hot BBWs if he tried hard enough.

I've been in a long term stable relationship (with a BBW) for a few years now, so I am completely unaware of the current going-ons. I'm wondering--with the advent of the internet (people finding out that it's OK to be attracted to big women) has the situation changed where the FA:BBW ratio has improved from the women's point of view?


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## Seth Warren (Dec 6, 2007)

Actually, in a healthy society, it is always a "buyers market" for men, as the number of women are twice their number. Any species that wants to survive will always have a greater number of women (assuming sexual reproduction is in play).


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## mossystate (Dec 6, 2007)

We tend to be a tad more visible.


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## Giraffes?Giraffes! (Dec 6, 2007)

CadorBolin said:


> When I started to date larger women about 10 years ago, I didn't find it nearly as difficult to get women to go out with me as compared to when I was in college where I limited myself to 'skinny' women. I attributed that to the fact that society tells people they should reject "fat" women--so with less available men being willing to be with women of size the laws of supply and demand take effect. A half-decent looking FA could get himself a harem of hot BBWs if he tried hard enough.
> 
> I've been in a long term stable relationship (with a BBW) for a few years now, so I am completely unaware of the current going-ons. I'm wondering--with the advent of the internet (people finding out that it's OK to be attracted to big women) has the situation changed where the FA:BBW ratio has improved from the women's point of view?



I cant tell if i'm offended by this post or not.....


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## Giraffes?Giraffes! (Dec 6, 2007)

Giraffes?Giraffes! said:


> I cant tell if i'm offended by this post or not.....



I've decided that i'm not.


Carry on.


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## Spanky (Dec 6, 2007)

Related to nature, 104 boys are born to 100 girls. By the end of the first year, the same number of girls slightly overtake the number of boys and the difference continues to grow until death. Why is that?? X sperm swim slower and live longer (the turtles) and the Y sperm swim faster and don't live as long (the wabbits). Maybe that is the same trait as the whole human condition. Women live longer than men in the US, by about 6 years. Why? I think it was much worse for women before medicine was able to lower the number of deaths due to childbirth. In the same time, way more men die in domestic killing (drug turf wars, etc) and foreign wars (Iraq, Afganistan, Gulf, etc). 

If everything was completely equal, work, education, food, happiness, I think women would still live longer due to the special protections nature provides them for and during the child bearing years. 

Like the great Cos said, "My wife has to deal with these braindead people all day (their children) and she is going to outlive me? I must be sick or something!"


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## Jes (Dec 6, 2007)

Spanky said:


> Women live longer than men in the US"



Not if they're married to Drew Peterson, they don't.

Or Scott Peterson.

Or Mark Hacking.


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## Spanky (Dec 6, 2007)

Jes said:


> Not if they're married to Drew Peterson, they don't.
> 
> Or Scott Peterson.
> 
> Or Mark Hacking.



"I don't hear you unless you knock"


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## superodalisque (Dec 6, 2007)

actually i think its a buyers market for ssbbw particularly. especially if they aren't too afraid or too unhealthy to leave the house and have a little confidence. not many women reach super size and a lot of those are married. 

i think a lot of assumptions that there aren't enough men to go around comes from women feeling desperate. they believe everything they hear in the media about their desireability. in a way i think this becomes a self fullfilling prophecy. when a woman doesn't feel attractive she often isn't. also think some FAs help the idea along because its benefits them. i think that some love supporting the idea that the only person who wants a fat woman or is sexually attracted to her is a dyed in the wool card carrying FA.


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## mossystate (Dec 6, 2007)

superodalisque said:


> actually i think its a buyers market for ssbbw particularly. especially if they aren't too afraid or too unhealthy to leave the house and have a little confidence. not many women reach super size and a lot of those are married.
> 
> i think a lot of assumptions that there aren't enough men to go around comes from women feeling desperate. they believe everything they hear in the media about their desireability. in a way i think this becomes a self fullfilling prophecy. i also think some FAs help the idea along because its benefits them. i think that some love supporting the idea that the only person who wants a fat woman or is sexually attracted to her is a died in the wool card carrying FA.




I approve this message...* stamp *...*w* That is why I shall keep my eyes WIDE open.


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## superodalisque (Dec 6, 2007)

yep! don't let anyone manipulate you if you are an ssbbw--world wide we are very rare


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## Fascinita (Dec 6, 2007)

Seth Warren said:


> Actually, in a healthy society, it is always a "buyers market" for men, as the number of women are twice their number. Any species that wants to survive will always have a greater number of women (assuming sexual reproduction is in play).




Hi Seth,

As cute as you are, I still have to ask you: Can you cite the source for the above? If it's science, I'm sincerely curious as to whose.

Thank you.


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## Rowan (Dec 6, 2007)

Seeing as how im quite single....I'd like to find some buyer's please  lol


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## Seth Warren (Dec 6, 2007)

Fascinita said:


> Hi Seth,
> 
> As cute as you are, I still have to ask you: Can you cite the source for the above? If it's science, I'm sincerely curious as to whose.
> 
> Thank you.




It was mentioned in a Cultural Anthropology course I took years ago. I may still have the textbook kicking around somewhere, but it would take a lot of digging.

So far, quick Google searches for variations of the phrase "gender dispersion in a healthy culture" have yielded many online directories for various university courses, but no articles. I'll have to do a more targeted search, methinks.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Dec 6, 2007)

Spanky said:


> Women live longer than men in the US, by about 6 years. Why?



Women read the directions.


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## CleverBomb (Dec 6, 2007)

...or, from here on my phone, quote properly, but LOL.
-Rusty


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## Tooz (Dec 6, 2007)

CadorBolin said:


> A half-decent looking FA could get himself a harem of hot BBWs if he tried hard enough.



I'm picky as hell.


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## Spanky (Dec 6, 2007)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> Women read the directions.



I thought it was that women ASK for directions. We men drive around for hours too proud to ask for any. 

With GPS, we shall live longer!


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## SuperMishe (Dec 6, 2007)

Giraffes?Giraffes! said:


> I've decided that i'm not.
> 
> 
> Carry on.



LOL!! It only took you _*one*_ minute to decide? You should have waited, decided, and then you wouldn't have had to post at all! LOL!


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## elle camino (Dec 6, 2007)

CadorBolin said:


> A half-decent looking FA could get himself a harem of hot BBWs if he tried hard enough.


ick. moretextmoretext


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## SuperMishe (Dec 6, 2007)

Rowan said:


> Seeing as how im quite single....I'd like to find some buyer's please  lol



LOL Rowan - perhaps we should sport Century 21 signs on our real estate!!


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## Ash (Dec 6, 2007)

Um. Just for the record...

This fat girl is part of no harem.


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## mossystate (Dec 6, 2007)

Harem..ummm....yeah. Anytime I see that kind of talk, I know it is never ' just kidding ' around.


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## Fascinita (Dec 6, 2007)

CadorBolin said:


> A half-decent looking FA could get himself a harem of hot BBWs if he tried hard enough.



In this parlance, what is the difference between an "FA" that has a harem of "hot BBWs" and a guy who sleeps with fat women because he finds that "fat girls are easy"?

My other thought is that not everyone who reads on the internet that it's "OK" to be attracted to fat people actually is comfortable living that out in life. In their public life.

Thanks. Bye.


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## GWARrior (Dec 6, 2007)

well excuse me Cador, but just becuse we're fat doesnt fucking mean we dont have standards. "half-decent FAs" are not gonna cut it.

how rude!


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## CadorBolin (Dec 7, 2007)

I seem to have hit a nerve, I didn't mean to offend--honest!

It's just that topics of supply and demand really interest me.

I've lived through the commidities depression, dotcom crash and now the housing bubble is about to create an economic storm of manure hitting the proverbial fan.

I was just wondering if because now that size acceptance is more mainstream (because of the internets--the "real" mainstream media nowadays) if there is less of a "man shortage" for BBW, that is all.


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## superodalisque (Dec 7, 2007)

CadorBolin said:


> . A half-decent looking FA could get himself a harem of hot BBWs if he tried hard enough.



your right, he could. translation of hot:f---able. unfortunately the quality of the bbw would be so low it would take several to make just one decent woman, definitely not the type anyone would seriously want to have a relationship with. that is assuming that a relationship is the goal. and, really, thats about all a half decent guy who wants a harem should get.

PS: i am 44 and i don't think there ever was a man shortage for bbw/ssbbw. they were even rarer when i was a girl. the shortage is and was in confidence. 

and yes people are likely to get their dander up when you commodify a human being when it comes to emotions. in the world of the heart there is no land labor or rent. maybe you should have asked the question about something like say--prostitution.



*is a harem of one* :kiss2:


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## k1009 (Dec 7, 2007)

I've noticed that the fatter I get, the lower the quality of the men who approach me. Coincidence? I still pay as much attention to my hair and skin, I get a regular manicure and pedicure, I dress well, in short I look as best as I possibly can whatever size I am. I don't think I'm hot but I'm not unattractive, and my size is the only "me" factor that's changing. 

Another thing I've noticed is that guys who are a LOT older than me, at least twice my age, have few qualms trying to chat me up. What is with this? Wouldn't have happened 30, 40 kilos ago.

So yes, I think it is a buyer's market. I think a lot of undesirable men have looked at what society finds hideous in a woman - her weight - and decided to aim for the bottom of the barrell, knowing they won't get the hotties they really want.


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## Dravenhawk (Dec 7, 2007)

I am not sure what side of the fence one sits FA or BBW if you are truely sincere there should be plenty of buyers. A harem building player "FA" is going to get made and a bad rep among a rare and extremely limited pool of BBWs. Women do TALK and word does get around especially with the internet these days. This kind of guy will find himself lonely on those chilly winter nights. Closet FAs who are ashamed of thier association with BBWS around thier "cool" friends will also find themselves short of "buyers". 

BBWs who live in thier thinner selves of years gone by or what I like to call thin chicks wearing a fat suit may initially attract a sincere FA but will muddle themselves into isolation and drive off true love because this kind of woman loves herself on the condition of impossible thiness that may never be realized and therefore never allows the love and admiration of another in. 

A sincere FA sees a woman of size as exquizite beauty. Her size gains his initial attraction and affection If there is love there even if she loses a substansial amount of weight he will remain by her side. After the ooohs and the aaaahs of a the physical stuff have passed by if there is enough common ground for a relationship to have a solid foundation it will prevail. Perferably FA's like their woman in just two sizes big and BIGGER as long as it remains healthy and practical. A sincere FA doesn't mind being seen in public with a woman in excess of 400 lbs as a matter of fact this guy is proud of it.

What is truely rare is a woman with "fattitude" who has a positive outlook on her bigness. This kind of woman takes pride in adding to her dimensions of weight and girth, not because this pleases her man but because this pleases HER. BBWs that see themselves as big and powerful as well as womanly who throw thier weight around playfully who relish every bite of food as if it were their last are extrordinally RARE. If you are an FA who has the attentions of a woman such as this, you are one lucky bastard!! 

I myself was "on the market" for just under a week when Mellie snapped me up like I was the last piece of cake in the world. FA meets BBW it doesn't get any better than this.

Dravenhawk


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## Littleghost (Dec 7, 2007)

GWARrior said:


> well excuse me Cador, but just becuse we're fat doesnt fucking mean we dont have standards. "half-decent FAs" are not gonna cut it.
> 
> how rude!



Well, the only reason I'm not completely decent right now is it's bedtime. Just in case you were wondering. :blush:


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## CadorBolin (Dec 7, 2007)

superodalisque said:


> and yes people are likely to get their dander up when you commodify a human being when it comes to emotions. in the world of the heart there is no land labor or rent. maybe you should have asked the question about something like say--prostitution.
> 
> *is a harem of one* :kiss2:



Fair enough, I re-read what I wrote and it does seem rather nonchalant. I did come from a small town with really high unemployment and very few single women (a "buyer's market" from their perspective), so I am used to speak in terms of economics when viewing at all of the things in life.

Speaking of prostitution, some studies have shown that the number of paying customers for the oldest profession has decreased because of the internet...


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## chicagosecretagent (Dec 7, 2007)

CadorBolin said:


> Fair enough, I re-read what I wrote and it does seem rather nonchalant. I did come from a small town with really high unemployment and very few single women (a "buyer's market" from their perspective), so I am used to speak in terms of economics when viewing at all of the things in life.
> 
> Speaking of prostitution, some studies have shown that the number of paying customers for the oldest profession has decreased because of the internet...



Where are those studies? I have a feeling you're totally talking out of your ass again. Since prostitution is neither legal nor regulated in the United States, I'm curious as to how economists would discern the downturn of the sex trade. I call bullshit. 

And by the way, my standards haven't changed because I am fat. My partners still have to be childless, master's or PhD educated, taller than me, single, funny, loving, kind, interesting and marriage minded. A big fat wallet helps too. Your insinuation that a fat woman would be happy to have any half decent man is offensive and misogynistic.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 8, 2007)

mossystate said:


> I approve this message...* stamp *...*w* That is why I shall keep my eyes WIDE open.



Back off Monique....she is marrying me....but you can be our plaything :eat2:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 8, 2007)

GWARrior said:


> well excuse me Cador, but just becuse we're fat doesnt fucking mean we dont have standards. "half-decent FAs" are not gonna cut it.
> 
> how rude!



A guy that is willing to discuss having a harem in a place that he must know is full of women isn't half decent, imo


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 8, 2007)

superodalisque said:


> the shortage is and was in confidence.




One of the best things I have ever seen on this forum......:bow: 



superodalisque said:


> and yes people are likely to get their dander up when you commodify a human being when it comes to emotions. in the world of the heart there is no land labor or rent. maybe you should have asked the question about something like say--prostitution.



Women are people, too. Funny how some don't seem to get it......:doh:


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## gangstadawg (Dec 8, 2007)

superodalisque said:


> actually i think its a buyers market for ssbbw particularly. especially if they aren't too afraid or too unhealthy to leave the house and have a little confidence. not many women reach super size and a lot of those are married.
> 
> i think a lot of assumptions that there aren't enough men to go around comes from women feeling desperate. they believe everything they hear in the media about their desireability. in a way i think this becomes a self fullfilling prophecy. when a woman doesn't feel attractive she often isn't. also think some FAs help the idea along because its benefits them. i think that some love supporting the idea that the only person who wants a fat woman or is sexually attracted to her is a dyed in the wool card carrying FA.


i wish it was a lot of ssbbws in detroit.


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## Sweet Tooth (Dec 8, 2007)

I dunno about a buyer's market, but I'm getting kinda tired of renters.







Seriously, I'm in the process of buying a house and I saw this thread. It made me realize that I dated too many men who are at a stage of their life where they're playing the "settled" game, but still can't commit to a place to live even though they could recite their heartfelt reasons why it makes poor economic sense. I just never translated it to relationships. 

But it should've been a sign....


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## Rowan (Dec 8, 2007)

Ashley said:


> Um. Just for the record...
> 
> This fat girl is part of no harem.



I thought you were part of Soup's harem?  lol


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## Rowan (Dec 8, 2007)

SuperMishe said:


> LOL Rowan - perhaps we should sport Century 21 signs on our real estate!!



I know right? lol It could say "BBW for rent, dates and gifts required" LMAO


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## Candy_Coated_Clown (Dec 8, 2007)

k1009 said:


> I've noticed that the fatter I get, the lower the quality of the men who approach me. Coincidence? I still pay as much attention to my hair and skin, I get a regular manicure and pedicure, I dress well, in short I look as best as I possibly can whatever size I am. I don't think I'm hot but I'm not unattractive, and my size is the only "me" factor that's changing.
> 
> Another thing I've noticed is that guys who are a LOT older than me, at least twice my age, have few qualms trying to chat me up. What is with this? Wouldn't have happened 30, 40 kilos ago.
> 
> So yes, I think it is a buyer's market. I think a lot of undesirable men have looked at what society finds hideous in a woman - her weight - and decided to aim for the bottom of the barrell, knowing they won't get the hotties they really want.




Well the thing is that it is the assumption here that is crazy. People can't just assume that because someone is overweight that they can't attract anyone, will take just about any date offer that comes their way and live in complete desperation and will hand over sex immediately. However, people -do- assume these things and although being much larger in size is not everyone's cup of tea, there's going to be someone out there that can be match and not every overweight person feels bad about their fatness. It's automatically assumed that if you are fat, then you must feel ashamed.

I have a couple of friends online who currently use dating sites and they are plus-sized as well. A few of them have repeatedly complained about men that will get mad once rejected by them or after reading their ad and send an email saying they need to get realistic with their standards and who are they kidding with their tall list of orders and preferences. Apparently, if you are overweight, you should lower your standards and be happy to get anything that comes your way.

That's the mindset that some people have. 

And I think it is ridiculous to assume someone is less of a catch because of their weight. What this really means is that they don't have any value as a complex and 3Dimensional person. Their value comes down to their weight. More weight = less quality, forget the rest. Forget that they are still attractive, might be intelligent, might have some talent with something, might possess an interesting personality or anything else. 

And if a relationship is built around limitations initially, it just won't work in the long-run regardless. What happens if said guy suddenly feels he has more options for whatever reasons? Will he just up and leave the woman he settled for due to his previously perceived lack of dating leverage? Most likely, and many marriages are based on this which leads to divorce later or "we grew apart..."

ok I might be rambling...lol but wanted to shoot some thoughts out there as your post made me think of a few things.


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## Keb (Dec 9, 2007)

Candy_Coated_Clown makes some excellent points, but I think that the assumptions are based on some real circumstances. It does seem like there are a lot fewer people who prefer their partner fat than there are fat people to be their partners, and vice versa. It also seems clear that only some fraction of those who prefer a larger partner (or don't find their attraction at all affected by size) are willing to deal with the side effects of societal disapproval, possible health issues, and so on--and will therefore seek the thinner people to partner regardless of their preferences.

Though I think the obesity epidemic has been grossly overblown by the media, there does seem to be a statistically significant increase in overweight people. So there probably are more choices for the FA or FFA who wants to find a fat partner than the other way around. There may not, however, be any more people they'd really be compatible with than for any other person, since there's so much more involved in what makes a good relationship than the simple equation of FA + BBW = Heaven.

It does all mean that many BBWs will never see the volume of attention paid to their thinner friends, which isn't very confidence inspiring. I'm not sure I'd want too much attention of that sort, though. I'd settle for just enough from the right person.


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## Canadian (Dec 9, 2007)

Although unlikely, I do feel the need to say that if by some strange twist I were to become an Egyptian Pharoah, or perhaps even just an Arabic prince of some sort, I would give serious consideration to developing a "harem of hot bbws".

I haven't quite pinned down a specific turn of events that would result in me becoming a Pharoah, but I am digging in to it. It wasn't a career move that I had considered previously, but I do think I could have some success in that field.

And I know some of you find the idea of a "harem" degrading, but I should say that the women in my harem would be treated very, very well. They would live in my palace in the desert, and there would always be good entertainment and shit. Like... jugglers, perhaps even some sort of egyptian magician, like a sword swallower or something. It'd be good times.


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## superodalisque (Dec 9, 2007)

Keb said:


> Candy_Coated_Clown makes some excellent points, but I think that the assumptions are based on some real circumstances. It does seem like there are a lot fewer people who prefer their partner fat than there are fat people to be their partners, and vice versa. It also seems clear that only some fraction of those who prefer a larger partner (or don't find their attraction at all affected by size) are willing to deal with the side effects of societal disapproval, possible health issues, and so on--and will therefore seek the thinner people to partner regardless of their preferences.
> 
> Though I think the obesity epidemic has been grossly overblown by the media, there does seem to be a statistically significant increase in overweight people. So there probably are more choices for the FA or FFA who wants to find a fat partner than the other way around. There may not, however, be any more people they'd really be compatible with than for any other person, since there's so much more involved in what makes a good relationship than the simple equation of FA + BBW = Heaven.
> 
> It does all mean that many BBWs will never see the volume of attention paid to their thinner friends, which isn't very confidence inspiring. I'm not sure I'd want too much attention of that sort, though. I'd settle for just enough from the right person.



i can understand how you might feel the way that you do. but i have to say lovingly, enough with surmising and sighing over there sweetie. here are a few hard numbers. maybe they will raise your spirits. they may need some adjustment but i think they are relatively close. 

2007 estimates from the american obesity association and the US census:

population of US males 150,508,000
population of US females 155,318,200

estimation of (US) FAs 10% of the male population
estimation of women (US)with a BMI of 40 and over 6.3%

ratio of US american males to females 1.31:1
ratio of FAs (US) to women(US) with BMI of 40 and over 1.53:1

the percentage of FAs in the american population is the male population may be an underestimation because it came from the old Kinsey report but i wanted to be conservative here. personally i think the gaining exposure to fat women and frankly online pornography have helped the male population to experience more in relation to the physical desireability of fat women. i believe FAs tend to know about and accept their preference much earlier than previous generations. i think just being out there and being seen more than previously has changed things somewhat. i know a lot of men who had never seen a bbw nude and have no idea of what to expect but were curious. 

then when you think of the world wide situation the ratio would deifinitely increase because as we know americans are the fattest in the world. bbws in the US have little worldwide competition. when i travel to europe i see very few bbws and i've met absolutely NO ssbbw. i know thats antedotal evidence though. they may be there but well hidden because of shame. also the way that european cities are built make it nearly impossible for ssbbw to get around. in general there are no laws mandating handicap access. many buildings don't have elevators. many that do have elevators that are constantly breaking down. the towns have a lot of cobblestones--very hard on the feet! people walk quite a bit. many towns don't have easy or economical daily access to cabs for short jaunts. many towns have great public transport but they would be hard for bbws not in the best shape to use. as a side note, its also a very difficult place for the aged. and since european countries are aging at an astounding rate ( they have a large ratio of the elderly) maybe things will change soon and bbws will be freed from their restraints there.


i also believe the numbers of FAs would increase in ratio in countries elsewhere because other cultures are not as fat phobic as we are in the US--especially non europeans. the idea that you have to be thin is pretty much a caucasian european focus --but not always. caucasians are a minority worldwide. when i am in africa and central and south america i am treated with a lot of care and awe. you are considered to be very rich and very lucky if you are so fat. in japan i am considered lucky like a big ol rabbit's foot. in africa i am considered a luxury item. i get courted by the wealthiest and most educated men there because i would be a trophy wife. 

instead of worrying how fat we are, i think bbws need to think more about getting out-- the logistics and the will. a lot of the women i know only feel comfortable going to bashes. thats like going to a club to meet your soul mate. it probably won't happen. its very hard to truly get to know some one in such an artificial atmosphere. 

i think we just need to be out in public more in a self accepting ways. ( i have news for you, its hard for an FA to meet you if you aren't out to be met) we should go to the beach in our bikinis with other people who aren't fat, so that people who aren't aware become accustomed to us and what we look like under our clothes. sometimes you have to take a hit for progress. we should get on with the business of living. we should take a class or go to a lecture or to the theatre if we want to. we need to educate ourselves about how to get people to accomodate us without being ashamed. we need to stop talking ourselves out of being a part of the human race socially. we have to stop treating ourselves as though our bodies are disgusting. other people learn to approach us by how we approach ourselves. in our daily life we have to become advocates for ourselves and others. its exciting to look at all of the progress that has been made and think of all that we could accomplish. one day there won't just be a bbw miss america contest but a miss america who just happens to be a bbw.


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## furious styles (Dec 9, 2007)

CadorBolin said:


> A half-decent looking FA could get himself a harem of hot BBWs if he tried hard enough.



*trendwhores*

a half-decent looking non-fa could get himself a harem of hot (i'm speaking disconnectedly as to illustrate my point) skinny girls if he tried hard enough. the problem is, no guy tries hard enough. except possibly hugh hefner and some kings.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Dec 9, 2007)

k1009 said:


> I've noticed that the fatter I get, the lower the quality of the men who approach me.
> Another thing I've noticed is that guys who are a LOT older than me, at least twice my age, have few qualms trying to chat me up. What is with this?



I call ageism! Seriously, haven't you noticed that it takes a lot of guys a long time to grow up? So by the time they realize that beautiful women come in all sizes, they already have their AARP cards.


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## k1009 (Dec 9, 2007)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> I call ageism! Seriously, haven't you noticed that it takes a lot of guys a long time to grow up? So by the time they realize that beautiful women come in all sizes, they already have their AARP cards.



But the oldies hitting on me aren't really up on Byzantine empresses . The oldies who are trying for a root are of the same caliber as the young ones who've apparently decided that my excess poundage now makes me fair game for a sleazy pickup line. Lordy, I'm so upbeat about all this! Nice blokes approach me too, but this is a negative thread so I felt like sharing negative experiences.

A friend's grandfather who worked against the Nazis and has traveled everywhere you can name as well as speaking ten million languages and happily chatting about anything and everything sometimes pinches my bum. I am a kind and generous person and can appreciate that he likes his ladies large so I don't slap him. See how un ageist I am?


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## liz (di-va) (Dec 9, 2007)

I think Felecia is really really really really cool. Okay, as you were.

Something else to note in all this that I often think about. It may not be true wherever you look, but it was the case where I worked and at other orgs: men place more personal ads than women.


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## southernfa (Dec 9, 2007)

superodalisque said:


> i believe FAs tend to know about and accept their preference much earlier than previous generations.



But what about the old argument that the Western preference for thinness is largely a post-war fashion. Doesn't that suggest that earlier generations had a better appreciation of size? There was also the issue that back in the '70's fitness and exercise was particularly fashionable. Remember the social jogging clubs? We don't see much of that any more (thank God).



superodalisque said:


> when i am in africa and central and south america i am treated with a lot of care and awe. you are considered to be very rich and very lucky if you are so fat. in japan i am considered lucky like a big ol rabbit's foot. in africa i am considered a luxury item. i get courted by the wealthiest and most educated men there because i would be a trophy wife.



That must be very gratifying.  We have something similar here with the Polynesian community where size equates to 'Mana' ~ prestige/honour/status



superodalisque said:


> instead of worrying how fat we are, i think bbws need to think more about getting out-- the logistics and the will. a lot of the women i know only feel comfortable going to bashes. thats like going to a club to meet your soul mate. it probably won't happen. its very hard to truly get to know some one in such an artificial atmosphere.
> 
> i think we just need to be out in public more in a self accepting ways. ( i have news for you, its hard for an FA to meet you if you aren't out to be met)



I think this is the nub of the issue. At the end of the day, when size-acceptance issues and statistics and all are done, achieving a relationship is still something of a numbers game. You have to get out and meet people in appropriate venues/social circles.

But that does raise a dilemma which can give rise to the apparence of a lack of FAs (or for that matter, BBWs); local context. What is an FA or BBW supposed to think if they can find no corresponding, suitable BBWs or FAs in their social circle?

Although NZ has it's own 'obesity epidemic', I can think of three BBWs in the several hundred people I personally know and have contact with (maybe a few more if I include elderly aunts). None of whom would be appropriate even if I was looking. If I was looking, I would have to widen my social circle and given an already tight schedule that would mean neglecting something else.

So, should someone who has a particular physical preference be prepared to make significant choices to their life to accommodate that. From the BBW point of view, should they accept a man primarily because he finds them physically attractive.

Should sexual preference be that big an issue in our choice of partner? If we can't find someone with whom there is mutual physical attraction, should we compromise for the sake of other compatibilities?

As an observation, and I am very open to being corrected on this; when I drive past the local college I notice that the girls are bigger than they were in my day and the boys still seem attracted. Maybe, there is a generational effect, maybe fat-aversion is being naturally bred out.


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## James (Dec 10, 2007)

CadorBolin said:


> A half-decent looking FA could get himself a harem of hot BBWs if he tried hard enough.



I believe these are also known as 'FA myspaces'?


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## RedVelvet (Dec 10, 2007)

Harem? ew?

Half decent looking isn't enough tho...I am picky as hell.


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## CandySmooch (Dec 10, 2007)

Jes said:


> Not if they're married to Drew Peterson, they don't.
> 
> Or Scott Peterson.
> 
> Or Mark Hacking.



Don't forget Michael Peterson! The writer who threw his wife down the stairs & claimed it was a fall!

Or Robert Blake, OJ


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## TraciJo67 (Dec 10, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Harem? ew?
> 
> Half decent looking isn't enough tho...I am picky as hell.



I'd be delighted to be part of a harem! In fact, wrap my ass up & send me to the Middle East! And who are you to judge, Arv?


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## Paw Paw (Dec 10, 2007)

If it is a buyer's market, then I just aint got enough money!

I have lamented on this for a long time. I tend to find that there has been so much ridicule dumped on the BBW, that they tend to be suspicious of everyone. 

In the past, I have spent time around some women, and everything is cool. I ask them out, and they act like I am setting them up for a fall. 

Peace, 
2P.


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## superodalisque (Dec 12, 2007)

i think your right about western preference and history. maybe i should have qualified myself and limited that to recent history.



southernfa said:


> But what about the old argument that the Western preference for thinness is largely a post-war fashion. Doesn't that suggest that earlier generations had a better appreciation of size? There was also the issue that back in the '70's fitness and exercise was particularly fashionable. Remember the social jogging clubs? We don't see much of that any more (thank God)...
> 
> But that does raise a dilemma which can give rise to the apparence of a lack of FAs (or for that matter, BBWs); local context. What is an FA or BBW supposed to think if they can find no corresponding, suitable BBWs or FAs in their social circle?...
> 
> ...




your right about your concerns about what FAs and BBWs think in relation to thier own personal experience. i didn't want to negate those experiences. i just wanted to say that it may not be as dire in reality as has been built up in their own mind. sometimes knowing the alternative answer can have a freeing effect. if you feel a little hopeful when you leave the house on a saturday night maybe your hope will cause you to attract more than you thought possible.


personally i feel that sexual preference shouldn't be as much of an issue as its made here. but i know thats an individual thing. i'm not a man so i can't say for sure. and what we call sexual attraction--are you sure thats all it is? or is it a complex of things that we oversimplify. today are we afraid to say that we fell in love? are we comfortable with the idea of falling in and out of love? i see attractive people all of the time but i don't want all of them as lovers. and personally i have no desire to sleep with anyone of a certain type. so when people discuss preference i often feel like the odd man out. 

i think that if you love someone you don't have to ask how far you will go to accomodate their issues. if its really love then you just do it because you couldn't see yourself being with anyone else. at least, thats how i've experienced it. it would be like leaving someone who might contract cancer or get into a car accident. i can't speak for NZers but if you are an american you have a good chance of getting cancer or getting into an auto accident. you could meet one of those bbws who never really have a lot of health problems--who knows?

relationships are really tough. its hard work. sexual attraction isn't enough alone. you'd better love the person and build some friendship as well. maybe sometimes people blame sexual preference for the lack of attraction but its really something else missing from the relationship. people lose desire for others inside of their preference every day but its not blamed on the sex.

lets seperate fashion from sexual attraction. i think men will always be attracted women of various sizes and always have been. its my opinion that some "specialize" but only a few. those would be men at either end of a bell curve, radical FAs at one end and men who found any fat entirely disgusting at the other end. i think nature provides for the variations. i think there is a partner for everyone wherever they fall on the curve (pun intended  ). maybe fatter is more acceptable now simply because thats whats available. all women are desireable. i think men just desire what they see around them. if they happen to be bigger then thats what they happen to desire. its a matter of exposure . thats why i believe that big girls need to get confidently out and be seen. in an evolutionary sense it might take too long to breed out certain preferences and populations would suffer.


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## southernfa (Dec 12, 2007)

superodalisque said:


> your right about your concerns about what FAs and BBWs think in relation to thier own personal experience. i didn't want to negate those experiences. i just wanted to say that it may not be as dire in reality as has been built up in their own mind. sometimes knowing the alternative answer can have a freeing effect. if you feel a little hopeful when you leave the house on a saturday night maybe your hope will cause you to attract more than you thought possible.



Good point. Personally, I enjoy the fact that we don't all come in different shapes and sizes but being about as average as you can get; I think I tend to overlook that fact that being a pronounced shape or size does come with baggage of all sorts.



superodalisque said:


> personally i feel that sexual preference shouldn't be as much of an issue as its made here. but i know thats an individual thing. i'm not a man so i can't say for sure. and what we call sexual attraction--are you sure thats all it is? or is it a complex of things that we oversimplify. today are we afraid to say that we fell in love? are we comfortable with the idea of falling in and out of love? i see attractive people all of the time but i don't want all of them as lovers. and personally i have no desire to sleep with anyone of a certain type. so when people discuss preference i often feel like the odd man out.



Agreed. With the proviso that as a guy, you do want them all as lovers. 
For about 2 seconds. LOL (Reminds me of a Greek sales rep who visited me once. The hair, the deep brown eyes, the perfect complexion, beautiful cheekbones, the perfume, the gold jewelry, the expensive clothes; I damn near asked HIM out on a date...)



superodalisque said:


> lets seperate fashion from sexual attraction. i think men will always be attracted women of various sizes and always have been. its my opinion that some "specialize" but only a few. those would be men at either end of a bell curve, radical FAs at one end and men who found any fat entirely disgusting at the other end. i think nature provides for the variations. i think there is a partner for everyone wherever they fall on the curve (pun intended  ). maybe fatter is more acceptable now simply because thats whats available. all women are desireable. i think men just desire what they see around them. if they happen to be bigger then thats what they happen to desire. its a matter of exposure . thats why i believe that big girls need to get confidently out and be seen. in an evolutionary sense it might take too long to breed out certain preferences and populations would suffer.



I agree and have posted on other threads to the effect that here we have sizeable Polynesian communities were size is not an issue at all as far as I can see.


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## jeremys_sbbw (Dec 12, 2007)

So, Im new here and I've mostly just skimmed through the topics but I thought I'd throw a little into this one. It seems people are in a tiz over the "bbw harem" thing. 

I wasnt offended by this. Should I have been offended by this?..I dont know. All I know is if a man wanted to have a harem of hot bbws and there were women willing to do that then...fine. It's not like I'd deny having a handfull of hot, long haired, tattoo covered men. Would that be offensive to them?

It isnt like that guy was on here calling all bbw's easy whores or anything. He was just typing what was on his mind, right? And as the man is part of this bbw community I dont think he'd really be saying nasty things about bbw's...hes obviously an FA...

......

If I've totally missed the point of the thread, Im sorry...as I said, I was skimming through and thought I'd throw in my two cents.


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## liz (di-va) (Dec 12, 2007)

Keb said:


> Candy_Coated_Clown makes some excellent points



This sentence cracks me up.

Sometimes I think about having my own harem, a la H. Hefner. Hottie FAs to ease me into my dotage, with their frolicking and dogs and sweet attentive ways. Oh and all those chefs.

all done </tangent>


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## superodalisque (Dec 12, 2007)

jeremys_sbbw said:


> So, Im new here and I've mostly just skimmed through the topics but I thought I'd throw a little into this one. It seems people are in a tiz over the "bbw harem" thing.
> 
> I wasnt offended by this. Should I have been offended by this?..I dont know. All I know is if a man wanted to have a harem of hot bbws and there were women willing to do that then...fine. It's not like I'd deny having a handfull of hot, long haired, tattoo covered men. Would that be offensive to them?
> 
> ...



you are right. i don't think he meant any harm either. he just wants to know. but i guess there is some sensitivity to the activity. so sometimes when you mention harem around here things blow up. i have taken a lot of hits for my screen name for that very reason. i have personally seen a lot of hareming going on at bashes etc... adults should do what they like, its their own personal business. but i also know the women who always come out on the short end and guys who get plastered with an unsavory reputaton by the same women who were 100% willing partners. its sort of depressing and really sad to watch. plus there is an air of desperation about it that i find unsavory and a bit detrimental to the public image of BBWS. it as though they are crawling all over this one guy because he is the only one who will give them the time of day. he can do whatever he likes. its the "come on girls lets get laid for once in our lives" mentality thats so pitiful. that infamous episode of CSI wasn't so far off base. for me there is nothing of fat acceptance in it( here i'm speaking of the activity and not bashes as a whole) in even though a lot of people involved often site that as the pretense. its seems to be just a lot of guys getting off on the power and a lot of women anxious to get laid by anybody at any cost and deluding themselves about exactly what it is they're doing. i know this is part of personal growth sometimes but it doesn't mean its pretty.


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## Dhaunae (Dec 13, 2007)

Rowan said:


> Seeing as how im quite single....I'd like to find some buyer's please  lol



Hehe, me too Rowan.


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## Rowan (Dec 13, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Harem? ew?
> 
> Half decent looking isn't enough tho...I am picky as hell.



Dayum girl...you be picky as you want with your bad self cuz the man in the pic is damn hot!!! lol

(Edit: If this be a man who is part of the genetic persuasion, please forgive my hot comment...and introduce me...LMAO)


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## RedVelvet (Dec 13, 2007)

Rowan said:


> Dayum girl...you be picky as you want with your bad self cuz the man in the pic is damn hot!!! lol
> 
> (Edit: If this be a man who is part of the genetic persuasion, please forgive my hot comment...and introduce me...LMAO)




Thats my long term guy....recently reconciled after being together for 7 years, and then split up, and then back together, as if it never happened....somehow...

Not a good picture of him, really.....

he's....perdier in person.

Thanks for saying so..I'll let him know that I am not the only one who recognizes his charms.


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## gangstadawg (Dec 14, 2007)

Rowan said:


> Seeing as how im quite single....I'd like to find some buyer's please  lol


ill take the case! ( harvery birdman attorney referrence)


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## waldo (Dec 15, 2007)

Keb said:


> It does seem like there are a lot fewer people who prefer their partner fat than there are fat people to be their partners, and vice versa. It also seems clear that *only some fraction of those who prefer a larger partner *(or don't find their attraction at all affected by size) are willing to deal with the side effects of societal disapproval, possible health issues, and so on--and will therefore seek the thinner people to partner regardless of their preferences.





superodalisque said:


> i can understand how you might feel the way that you do. but i have to say lovingly, enough with surmising and sighing over there sweetie. here are a few hard numbers. maybe they will raise your spirits. they may need some adjustment but i think they are relatively close.
> 
> 2007 estimates from the american obesity association and the US census:
> 
> ...



It might be more realistic to include the percentage of women with BMI above 30, which is the cutoff for obese. According to this articlethe adult female obesity rate is about 35%. Also, as Keb pointed out you really need to consider that only a fraction of FAs will actually openly follow their orientation, even with a smaller BBW in the BMI range of 30-40. If we optimistically assume that percentage at 50%, it will be 50% of 10% or about 5% of the overall male population.

So the ratio of obese women to available FAs is very likely more around 35% : 5 % or 7 : 1. I recall someone posting months back that the apparent ratio of single women to men at the typical BBW social event is in the range of 6 or 7 to 1.

The one caveat is the uncertainty around whether the percentage of FAs is really approximately 10% or is actually higher. I think it could be higher if you include the qualifier that some guys will be attracted to women in the smaller BBW range only.

Another consideration is that the percentage of fat women with 'fattitude' is actually also rather small. So when you match up the percentage of women who are fat and have fattitude with the percentage of men who are open FAs you might get closer to the optimal 1 : 1 ratio. But then the question remains: why don't more men show up at these BBW events? I think BBWs and FAs need to find other ways to hook up as you also suggested.


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## Tina (Dec 15, 2007)

Been very busy, so I admit not reading the posts in this thread, so what I've said may have already been said, and better than I will say it, but...

I don't care who has the buyer's, or seller's, market here. No one should feel like they have to settle, and no one should feel like they are doing a favor to a poor, fat person, and that they are just the manna from Heaven the unfortunate fattie needs, and that the fat person should just take what crumbs they have to offer. Screw that. 

There's a lid for every pot, thin or fat, and anyone who feels they are superior for 'rescuing' someone -- or using the odds to slut around to every fat woman possible, or that a fat person should just settle for whatever, and what kind, of attentions they can get, is wrong, wrong, wrong. Hold out for what you really want in a partner -- whether it's a long term relationship, or just some fun. Don't let yourself be made to feel that 'this might be your last chance or only offer.' It won't be.


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## NancyGirl74 (Dec 15, 2007)

I'm not exactly sure what is meant by "buyer's market". I don't think the OP meant it as an offensive term but I've gotta say it rubs me the wrong way. However, to address the issue...There _are_ way more BBWs than there are FAs so yeah the odds are in their favor. I'm sure that leads to a certain amount of playerism. However, those players usually end up getting busted before too long because HELLO we're fat not stupid. Sadly, they usually hurt someone before they are found out. 

Here is kinda sorta a different topic but not really....I've "seen" a few BBWs who collect their own harem of men. Does anyone else notice a "they-use-us-so-we'll-use-them" attitude in the BBW community? I don't mean Dims specifically. I mean in the broader sense. Maybe it's just me.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Dec 15, 2007)

NancyGirl74 said:


> Here is kinda sorta a different topic but not really....I've "seen" a few BBWs who collect their own harem of men. Does anyone else notice a "they-use-us-so-we'll-use-them" attitude in the BBW community? I don't mean Dims specifically. I mean in the broader sense. Maybe it's just me.



Heck, yes. They're called 'headhunters', they come in _all_ sizes, and they tend to collect harems of men whom they keep in line by offering and/or withholding sex. I was 'bagged' by a BBW in Boston several years back -- didn't know about her other boyfriends and was absolutely head over heels in love with her -- and then one of the other suitors showed up. Actually, he broke into her apartment and cut his wrists on her bed. He was messy, but not badly hurt, thank goodness. And I thought, "Shit! This could be me!" and came to my senses. As much as I ever do, anyway.


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## superodalisque (Dec 15, 2007)

waldo said:


> It might be more realistic to include the percentage of women with BMI above 30, which is the cutoff for obese. According to this articlethe adult female obesity rate is about 35%. Also, as Keb pointed out you really need to consider that only a fraction of FAs will actually openly follow their orientation, even with a smaller BBW in the BMI range of 30-40. If we optimistically assume that percentage at 50%, it will be 50% of 10% or about 5% of the overall male population.
> 
> So the ratio of obese women to available FAs is very likely more around 35% : 5 % or 7 : 1. I recall someone posting months back that the apparent ratio of single women to men at the typical BBW social event is in the range of 6 or 7 to 1.
> 
> ...



you've made some great points here! still, FAs are only one small tip of the bell curve. they don't include all of the other men who could find a bbw attractive. exclusive preference isn't ALL interest. 

bash numbers are highly anecdotal. i was at some bashes recently where men out numbered women in large amounts. its phenomena i'm sure a lot of bbws hope becomes a trend. i don't think bash numbers mean very much in the scheme of things though. its like comparing the number of people at a bar to the population as a whole.

i do think its interesting to note why a lot of men don't go to bashes though. one reason they don't attend is because they don't know about them. most bashes are not well advertised. i've never seen such an event in my newspaper either online or in print. they almost never advertise on t.v. or radio. if you aren't already a part of the community you would never know they existed. i think thats why the entire bash thing feels a bit limited and incestious. you have a lot of the same people going to the same bashes for years and years and not a lot of new blood.

then you have people who wouldn't go even if they did know about them. they feel that if a woman has to go to such an event they have low self esteem. they like women who are proud enough to go out where other people go and feel secure. a lot of guys don't want a woman that they feel they have to be an emotional prop for. i'm not saying this is true, just that it is some men's perception. i have a friend who says he is surprised at how he can go to an event and women can be so vivacious but when he approaches the same women out in public they asssume that it is a joke or something until he explains where he met them. he says he doesn't want a woman who only has bash confidence.

then there are men who refuse to identify themselves as FAs. they don't want to be associated with that. not because they are ashamed to like fat women but because of the political implications. they don't like being identified by a preference. some of them even like women of all sizes. they are made uncomfortable at bashes for feeling that way. i have a friend who has attended the vegas bash. he says he won't be returning because he did not like the way that he was expected to"become" his preference. he was no longer a person. he was asked by many people, both male and female, about how he felt about pears, apples,hourglasses, or whether he prefered bbws of a certain race. he said he found it rather uncomfortable to group people in that way--somewhat dehumanizing. for him that mind set was too low on the platonic ladder to be comfortable. 

then i have also talked to men who say that they find the entire bash atmosphere unsavory. they would be the types who probably wouldn't go to a bar either because they are uncomfortable in that situation. they feel that the type of woman they's like to meet probaby wouldn't be there anyway.

personally, i think the main reason bbws have a hard time meeting the men that they like is because of their own emotional limitations--pretty much the same as their average sized sisters. i have small girlfriends who haven't dated in years -literally. they meet in men bars who they find just as unsatisfactory as some of the men bbws complain about meeting at the bashes. i manage to date on average of twice a week when i'm trying. i weigh 440lbs so i am not a small woman. there is seldom a day that some one has not flirted with me seriously. i don't think its unusual. i just think that when bbws get approached in public they aren't necessarily open to anything happening. there is no reason to doubt someone's attraction unless they do something to the contrary. bbws are beautiful. bbws are wanted. there are plenty of men out there who will tell you so if you let them.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 15, 2007)

Tina said:


> I don't care who has the buyer's, or seller's, market here. No one should feel like they have to settle, and no one should feel like they are doing a favor to a poor, fat person, and that they are just the manna from Heaven the unfortunate fattie needs, and that the fat person should just take what crumbs they have to offer. Screw that.
> 
> There's a lid for every pot, thin or fat, and anyone who feels they are superior for 'rescuing' someone -- or using the odds to slut around to every fat woman possible, or that a fat person should just settle for whatever, and what kind, of attentions they can get, is wrong, wrong, wrong. Hold out for what you really want in a partner -- whether it's a long term relationship, or just some fun. Don't let yourself be made to feel that 'this might be your last chance or only offer.' It won't be.




Thank You- exactly :bow:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 15, 2007)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> Heck, yes. They're called 'headhunters', they come in _all_ sizes, and they tend to collect harems of men whom they keep in line by offering and/or withholding sex. I was 'bagged' by a BBW in Boston several years back -- didn't know about her other boyfriends and was absolutely head over heels in love with her -- and then one of the other suitors showed up. Actually, he broke into her apartment and cut his wrists on her bed. He was messy, but not badly hurt, thank goodness. *And I thought, "Shit! This could be me!"* and came to my senses. As much as I ever do, anyway.




I was thinking "Shit! This could be me!" too.......but in the reverse :blush:


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## RedVelvet (Dec 15, 2007)

superodalisque said:


> i have a friend who has attended the vegas bash. he says he won't be returning because he did not like the way that he was expected to"become" his preference. he was no longer a person. he was asked by many people, both male and female, about how he felt about pears, apples,hourglasses, or whether he prefered bbws of a certain race. he said he found it rather uncomfortable to group people in that way--somewhat dehumanizing. for him that mind set was too low on the platonic ladder to be comfortable.




I .....love......your friend.

What an excellent post! Wow!


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## Tina (Dec 15, 2007)

superodalisque said:


> i have a friend who has attended the vegas bash. he says he won't be returning because he did not like the way that he was expected to"become" his preference. he was no longer a person. he was asked by many people, both male and female, about how he felt about pears, apples,hourglasses, or whether he prefered bbws of a certain race. he said he found it rather uncomfortable to group people in that way--somewhat dehumanizing.


I find an interesting parallel in this to what many women feel, here, when they see threads about apples, pears, etc. Shoe was on the other foot, no? Not saying it was right, because no one wants to be broken down to just a bunch or parts, nor preferences.


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## NancyGirl74 (Dec 15, 2007)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> Heck, yes. They're called 'headhunters', they come in _all_ sizes, and they tend to collect harems of men whom they keep in line by offering and/or withholding sex. I was 'bagged' by a BBW in Boston several years back -- didn't know about her other boyfriends and was absolutely head over heels in love with her -- and then one of the other suitors showed up. Actually, he broke into her apartment and cut his wrists on her bed. He was messy, but not badly hurt, thank goodness. And I thought, "Shit! This could be me!" and came to my senses. As much as I ever do, anyway.



I'm very sorry that happened to you. 

I really have no issue with people playing the field...as long as they are honest about it. I mean both sexes should be free to get their groove on however they like as long as they aren't hurting other parties.


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## pinuptami (Dec 15, 2007)

Tooz said:


> I'm picky as hell.



Ditto....oy.


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## AnnMarie (Dec 15, 2007)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> *snipped*...I was 'bagged' by a BBW in Boston several years back -- ....actually, he broke into her apartment and cut his wrists on her bed. He was messy, but not badly hurt, thank goodness. And I thought, "Shit! This could be me!" and came to my senses. As much as I ever do, anyway.



Look, the blood came out in one wash, it wasn't THAT big of a deal. A girl has to keep her options open. 














 (really, wasn't me, and I'm really sorry that happened.... I just can't leave an easy punch line hanging)


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## southernfa (Dec 16, 2007)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> Heck, yes. They're called 'headhunters', they come in _all_ sizes, and they tend to collect harems of men whom they keep in line by offering and/or withholding sex. I was 'bagged' by a BBW in Boston several years back -- didn't know about her other boyfriends and was absolutely head over heels in love with her -- and then one of the other suitors showed up. Actually, he broke into her apartment and cut his wrists on her bed. He was messy, but not badly hurt, thank goodness. And I thought, "Shit! This could be me!" and came to my senses. As much as I ever do, anyway.



Wow! That is bad! 
I was about to say I never came close to anything that bad and then I remembered my first wife. 
At least there was never any blood...


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## Jon Blaze (Dec 16, 2007)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> Heck, yes. They're called 'headhunters', they come in _all_ sizes, and they tend to collect harems of men whom they keep in line by offering and/or withholding sex. I was 'bagged' by a BBW in Boston several years back -- didn't know about her other boyfriends and was absolutely head over heels in love with her -- and then one of the other suitors showed up. Actually, he broke into her apartment and cut his wrists on her bed. He was messy, but not badly hurt, thank goodness. And I thought, "Shit! This could be me!" and came to my senses. As much as I ever do, anyway.



DAMN! Thanks for the heads up! I had no idea! 
*Stretches*
TIME TO GET RUFF!! Well, with the headhunters.  :wubu:


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## Tina (Dec 16, 2007)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> Heck, yes. They're called 'headhunters', they come in _all_ sizes, and they tend to collect harems of men whom they keep in line by offering and/or withholding sex. I was 'bagged' by a BBW in Boston several years back -- didn't know about her other boyfriends and was absolutely head over heels in love with her -- and then one of the other suitors showed up. Actually, he broke into her apartment and cut his wrists on her bed. He was messy, but not badly hurt, thank goodness. And I thought, "Shit! This could be me!" and came to my senses. As much as I ever do, anyway.


Wow. Sounds like they were both nuts. Glad you were sensible enough to get out of there before she ate you with some fava beans and a nice chianti.


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## Dr. P Marshall (Dec 16, 2007)

CadorBolin said:


> p so I am used to speak in terms of economics when viewing at all of the things in life.




No offense, but if this is how you really think of human relationships...YIKES!


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## stefanie (Dec 17, 2007)

superodalisque said:


> i have small girlfriends who haven't dated in years...



Agreed. It's not just an issue of body size. For some, relationships are hard to start and maintain.



> i weigh 440lbs so i am not a small woman. there is seldom a day that some one has not flirted with me seriously. i don't think its unusual. ... there is no reason to doubt someone's attraction unless they do something to the contrary. bbws are beautiful. bbws are wanted. there are plenty of men out there who will tell you so if you let them.



This has been my experience too. I'm a BBW, and not young. But once in awhile I do get that unabashed stare. Like you say, the simplest explanation is sometimes the best.


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## Suze (Dec 17, 2007)

k1009 said:


> I've noticed that the fatter I get, the lower the quality of the men who approach me. Coincidence? I still pay as much attention to my hair and skin, I get a regular manicure and pedicure, I dress well, in short I look as best as I possibly can whatever size I am. I don't think I'm hot but I'm not unattractive, and my size is the only "me" factor that's changing.
> 
> Another thing I've noticed is that guys who are a LOT older than me, at least twice my age, have few qualms trying to chat me up. What is with this? Wouldn't have happened 30, 40 kilos ago.
> 
> So yes, I think it is a buyer's market. I think a lot of undesirable men have looked at what society finds hideous in a woman - her weight - and decided to aim for the bottom of the barrell, knowing they won't get the hotties they really want.


.
Seconded. (For the most part)
Seriously, I can relate too so much of you're experiences, mate 
(But I don't agree with the quality of men though, it's been pretty good)

As for me, I have never been with a guy around me age...I don't think that is a coincidence, because most younger dudes are more shallow (yes they ARE). 
They have never been twice my age, though (yuk) but around 7-12 yrs older. Heck, my last bf was 33!
Not that it's something wrong with that really. 21 year old guys are just little boys ya' know

Let's not fool ourselves peeps. Some honesty is good, even if it sucks.


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