# Questions on Stealth Feeding



## DrFeeder (Apr 15, 2007)

One of the most amazing things about my "Ask Dr. Feeder" site is the number of letters I get from guys who want to know how to fatten up their girlfriends withs without the girlfriend knowing. I call that "stealth" feeding. Now I'm sure some of them aren't really serious about doing it, they just like fantasizing about it. But some of them must be serious. 

My questions:

1. Whatever you think about "normal" (i.e., consensual) Feeding, don't you agree that stealth feeding is messed up?

2. Is it even possible? I mean, it seems like if a guy was trying to make you fatter, it would be pretty obvious. Am I wrong? Has anyone here been a victim of stealth feeding? Or actually practiced it themselves?

--Dr. Feeder


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## eightyseven (Apr 15, 2007)

I'm not into feederism whatsoever so I'm probably a terrible person to comment on this... but I do recall a specific episode of "Malcom in the Middle," I show I enjoyed early in my high school years. The mother of the main character was pregnant and the father began to realize that he liked his wife's new "largeness." So he had to figure out a way to keep her that size or bigger even after the pregnancy. He began putting weight gain supplements in her food and drinks and silly things like that. Again, this is a television show... but who knows what people will do these days.


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## AnnMarie (Apr 15, 2007)

Is there a reason you placed this on the paysite board? It should be on the weight board, unless you're specifically asking the paysite girls only. 

Please let me know so I can move the thread to the appropriate place.


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## Fuzzy (Apr 15, 2007)

*move this to another board?*


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## Waxwing (Apr 15, 2007)

hurry up and move it so i can stick my nose in and opine for a few hours.


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## SamanthaNY (Apr 15, 2007)

Stealth fusing:

Using an industrial strength glue (which bonds instantly and near permanently to the skin) to fuse two body parts together whilst the glue-ee is asleep or otherwise incapacitated. Most effective when used on particularly sensitive areas. 

Just saying.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Apr 15, 2007)

So then stealth feeding would be like dropping gumdrops into her mouth while she's asleep?


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Apr 15, 2007)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> So then stealth feeding would be like dropping gumdrops into her mouth while she's asleep?



If she doesn't choke to death, she's going to be PISSED.

Seriously, I think playing a kink scene is cool, but really slipping someone extra calories on the sly, not cool.


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## BothGunsBlazing (Apr 15, 2007)

mmm 

HOT 

BUTTER

INJECTION


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## DrFeeder (Apr 15, 2007)

You're right, I meant to put it in the Weight Board. Sorry everyone.


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## Waxwing (Apr 15, 2007)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> So then stealth feeding would be like dropping gumdrops into her mouth while she's asleep?


 
Now, Doc, that's a choking hazard! (incidentally, two drs is going to confuse me) 

I'm going to assume that for the purposes of this discussion at least "stealth feeding" is the practice of causing your mate to ingest more calories than they a) think they're ingesting or b) would like to ingest. Likely you're talking about the latter, and in that case I don't think I can type anything disapproving enough. 

I can't think of any conceivable excuse for this. Wait...I....nope, can't do it. Not ok. It couldn't be something that you had agreed to previously, otherwise it wouldn't really be 'stealth'**, so no, there is no time at which this would be ok.

**I can see a situation in which you would talk about this beforehand, like "see how much you can stealth feed me", and if that's the case then whatevever, but if it's truly not something the other party knows about, then damn.

PS: if this isn't what you meant, forgive me for bein' all Judgy McBitch about it.


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## Waxwing (Apr 15, 2007)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> mmm
> 
> HOT
> 
> ...



I've warned you before about these stealth butter injections! They hurt!


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## love dubh (Apr 15, 2007)

But you'll rival TSL'S BUTTER DIET!

I can see a fight to the death in your future.


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## DrFeeder (Apr 15, 2007)

One woman claimed to have done it by putting lots of olive oil in whatever she was cooking in order to fatten up her husband...not because she particularly wanted him fat; it was just to get him to get off her back about her own weight gain!

I really doubt the veracity of that one, but you never know...


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Apr 15, 2007)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> mmm
> 
> HOT
> 
> ...



Nah. Maire is right. The butter diet makes ya lose, fool. Shows what you know.


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## elle camino (Apr 15, 2007)

heyyyyy...is this an entire ground-up german chocolate cake sprinkled on my salad?


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## Fuzzy (Apr 15, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> ..the practice of causing your mate to ingest more calories than they think they're ingesting...



How about that situation? Cooking calorie rich foods that he/she adores knowing that due to their current level of activity he/she will fatten up over time.


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## Miss Vickie (Apr 15, 2007)

Manipulating another human's body without their knowledge or permission is wrong. Very very wrong. But yes, it's possible, if the person in question has no morals and does the majority of the cooking.


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## Waxwing (Apr 15, 2007)

DrFeeder said:


> One woman claimed to have done it by putting lots of olive oil in whatever she was cooking in order to fatten up her husband...not because she particularly wanted him fat; it was just to get him to get off her back about her own weight gain!
> 
> I really doubt the veracity of that one, but you never know...



Yeah that sounds iffy, but you never know. The plus side is that in every other respect that would be incredibly good for you!

I'm waiting for other people to weigh in on this, because this very topic came up in the past few days. I think that this has happened to people here. I just think that it would seem like such a violation.


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## Waxwing (Apr 15, 2007)

Fuzzy said:


> How about that situation? Cooking calorie rich foods that he/she adores knowing that due to their current level of activity he/she will fatten up over time.


 
Well, if he/she doesn't WANT to gain weight and doesn't realize that what you're cooking will have that impact, then no, that's deeply uncool. If he wants to gain weight, then rock on, but to do so behind someone's back so to speak is fiercely dishonest and craptastic.


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## elle camino (Apr 15, 2007)

...and why does my soy milk taste like melted french vanilla ice cream?


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## Waxwing (Apr 15, 2007)

elle camino said:


> ...and why does my soy milk taste like melted french vanilla ice cream?



can you stop making me laugh for a minute so i can finish my tea? thank you.


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## elle camino (Apr 15, 2007)

ok but seriously do you think it's odd that my boyfriend puts three entire cherry pies on top of my breakfast grapefruit?


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## DrFeeder (Apr 15, 2007)

There are where-do-you-draw-the-line issues, like say the feeder does nothing more than buy lots of ice cream? And the unintentional feedee eats it and doesn't complain?

I think that's grey area...but if the UF tells him to stop buying so many tempting goodies and he goes ahead anyway, that's messed up...but surely UF knows at that point that things are majorly wrong...


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## Waxwing (Apr 15, 2007)

DrFeeder said:


> There are where-do-you-draw-the-line issues, like say the feeder does nothing more than buy lots of ice cream? And the unintentional feedee eats it and doesn't complain?
> 
> I think that's grey area...but if the UF tells him to stop buying so many tempting goodies and he goes ahead anyway, that's messed up...but surely UF knows at that point that things are majorly wrong...



Well if you're inhaling ice cream all day you may not know that the feeder is purchasing it for the sole purpose of inflating you, but you know that eating a metric ton of ice cream is going to widen that butt a bit. So in that case, sure, it's the eater's choice to eat it.

I thought that you were talking about secret lard basting or somesuch-- adding calories that weren't readily apparent.

Elle, I love you so so much right now. And please give me one of the pies. Thank you.


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## DrFeeder (Apr 15, 2007)

> I thought that you were talking about secret lard basting or somesuch-- adding calories that weren't readily apparent.

Well, I suppose that's the ideal method...gee...you sound like you've done this before...


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## elle camino (Apr 15, 2007)

alright _seriously_ seriously, i think the reality of this fantasy (?!?) is so asinine that i can't buy that there are that many people who are that into it. if you give it ANY thought whatsoever, it makes zero sense at all. 
i mean, if your lady isn't fat and you know she doesn't want to _get_ fat, then you've gotta know that even if you DO somehow succeed in 'stealth feeding' her up to whatever weight is your goal, she'll be effing miserable and feel shitty all the time and will very very likely not want you to even see her naked, much less be the BBW sex kitten of your dreams. 
so...
what's the appeal of that?
does this figure into some larger, more generalized 'i want to date a very unhappy person whom i never have sex with' fetish?


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## Waxwing (Apr 15, 2007)

I have to agree that this doesn't sound enticing to me either. If feederism is your bag, then it would seem that you would want your partner to be into it as well. Right? Am I missing some essential piece of the puzzle?


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## DrFeeder (Apr 15, 2007)

I totally agree, I think it's messed up, improbable, and wouldn't be satisfying if you didn manage it...yet I get all these letters. Wanted to get a reality check from you all. Thanks!


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## BothGunsBlazing (Apr 15, 2007)

I don't know why but every time I think of this .. it involves a mallet and a feed bag. 

that isn't very stealth though haha


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## Waxwing (Apr 15, 2007)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> I don't know why but every time I think of this .. it involves a mallet and a feed bag.
> 
> that isn't very stealth though haha



man you would suck at espionage


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## Tina (Apr 15, 2007)

elle camino said:


> alright _seriously_ seriously, i think the reality of this fantasy (?!?) is so asinine that i can't buy that there are that many people who are that into it. if you give it ANY thought whatsoever, it makes zero sense at all.


I'm sure this isn't an epidemic, but I'm also sure there are some out there who do this. I heard of one woman who was putting performance drugs in her husband's cereal... These stealthy things happen, lousy as they are, and if it happens even once it's too often.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Apr 15, 2007)

I just tried stealthily putting a Cadbury egg in Ryan's mouth. He didn't seem to turn into the BBW sex kitten of my dreams and he didn't eat the candy. What an inconsiderate asshole.


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## BothGunsBlazing (Apr 15, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> man you would suck at espionage



yeah, it's especially bad since every time I attempt this.. I'm always wearing my conniving suit that day!


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## AnnMarie (Apr 16, 2007)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> I just tried stealthily putting a Cadbury egg in Ryan's mouth. He didn't seem to turn into the BBW sex kitten of my dreams and he didn't eat the candy. What an inconsiderate asshole.



Try it on me. I guarantee different results.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Apr 16, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> Try it on me. I guarantee different results.



Now that's better!


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Apr 16, 2007)

Is this why Wayne likes to cook so much???????????


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## supersoup (Apr 16, 2007)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> I just tried stealthily putting a Cadbury egg in Ryan's mouth. He didn't seem to turn into the BBW sex kitten of my dreams and he didn't eat the candy. What an inconsiderate asshole.



thanks to you, i just swallowed my cookie whole from laughing.

wait...does this mean the keebler elves are stealth feeding me?!

effers.


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## Waxwing (Apr 16, 2007)

the keebler elves are shifty, pointed-shoe-wearing little bastards. hell yes that's what they're doing. those guys will shoot you as soon as look at you.

(oh man now i want evil cookies)


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 16, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> Well if you're inhaling ice cream all day you may not know that the feeder is purchasing it for the sole purpose of inflating you, but you know that eating a metric ton of ice cream is going to widen that butt a bit. So in that case, sure, it's the eater's choice to eat it.
> 
> I thought that you were talking about secret lard basting or somesuch-- adding calories that weren't readily apparent.
> 
> Elle, I love you so so much right now. And please give me one of the pies. Thank you.




Yeah, I don't think buying goodies that the "unsuspecting" person willingly eats just because they are there is the same as adding calories on the down low- this is from a compulsive overeater too. I'm enough of a bitch to throw that food out if I TRULY didn't want to eat it- I don't think a person cajoling me to eat is the same thing as "stealth" feeding.

However, if I stated I was dieting and someone claimed to be assisting me by making me low calorie smoothies in the blender yet were adding weight gain powder to it- then I might take issue with that because it's deceptive. I think therein is where the difference lies.


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## LoveBHMS (Apr 16, 2007)

I tried explaining this to a friend, and I think I came up with a good analogy. Most kinks are fun if you have a partner to share them with. *Healthy* kink is between two willing partners, just as healthy normal sex and rape are the same physical action but they are totally different if one person does not want to do it.

Stealth feeding, to me, would be the same thing as being into S&M but just slapping your partner across the face. If you were a true Domme, that would not be any fun. What you'd want is a partner who got off on being dominated or being hit or got off on the pain. Just like if you were a sub, you probably would not orgasm from being mugged or from falling on a patch of ice and breaking your leg. It's still pain and still domination, but it's participatory.

Buying ice cream when your partner says "please don't buy ice cream" is not being a stealth feeder it's being a straight up inconsiderate jerk.


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## Waxwing (Apr 16, 2007)

what she said. EXACTLY.


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## alienlanes (Apr 16, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> I have to agree that this doesn't sound enticing to me either. If feederism is your bag, then it would seem that you would want your partner to be into it as well. Right? Am I missing some essential piece of the puzzle?



I'd imagine that a lot of these letters come from closeted feeders who are too chicken to tell their partner what they really want.


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## alienlanes (Apr 16, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> what she said. EXACTLY.



What she said about what she said. Exactly.


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## LillyBBBW (Apr 16, 2007)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> I don't know why but every time I think of this .. it involves a mallet and a feed bag.
> 
> that isn't very stealth though haha



I was laughing my head off till I realized you wrote "mallet" and not "mullet."


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## LoveBHMS (Apr 16, 2007)

DrFeeder said:


> There are where-do-you-draw-the-line issues, like say the feeder does nothing more than buy lots of ice cream? And the unintentional feedee eats it and doesn't complain?
> 
> I think that's grey area...but if the UF tells him to stop buying so many tempting goodies and he goes ahead anyway, that's messed up...but surely UF knows at that point that things are majorly wrong...



Either your partner is into erotic weight gain or s/he is not. If you are going to participate in this, you need to have open and honest communication about your activities and what is going to happen to the gainer/feedee's body. There is a reason that practitioners of BDSM have safe words, it's an understanding that the sub person has limits to the amount of pain that s/he can take and when that person uses the safe word, the domme STOPS.

If you are going to play with this or any other kink, you need to talk first. As with most kinks, the sub is really the one in control, and if you are respectful and healthy, the sub/feedee/gainer sets the limits and the domme/feeder respects them. It's disrespectful and flat out wrong to try to screw with the other person's limits just because YOU may want them to look different. Once the other person says "I will eat this much" or "i will gain this much" or "I will participate in feedapaloozas once a week but no more" that is it. You don't agree to something and then buy ice cream with the hopes that it will be eaten.


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## LoveBHMS (Apr 16, 2007)

SlackerFA said:


> I'd imagine that a lot of these letters come from closeted feeders who are too chicken to tell their partner what they really want.



if you are practicing this in a healthy and respectful manner, the subject of stealth feeding would not even exist.

If you just wish your partner were fatter, then maybe you just have a straight up preference for women larger than your current partner is. The answer is not to trick or manipulate her into changing her body into something that's more to your liking. Keep in mind feeding and being an FA are two different things.

If you get off on feeding a willing partner, then you either have to tell your partner what you want and hope for the best, hire a pro, or satisfy your desires some other way. Because "stealth feeding" is bullshit, it's not practicing a healthy kink with a willing partner, it's basically straight up cruelty and disrespect.

If you truly get off on the idea of fattening a woman without her consent, then you're a dickbag who probably does not deserve to have a girlfriend.


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## Waxwing (Apr 16, 2007)

LillyBBBW said:


> I was laughing my head off till I realized you wrote "mallet" and not "mullet."



a mullet and a feed bag? that's a hot outfit.


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## Waxwing (Apr 16, 2007)

LoveBHMS said:


> If you truly get off on the idea of fattening a woman without her consent, then you're a dickbag who probably does not deserve to have a girlfriend.


 
Dickbag. Heeeee. I'm 12. 

I may have asked this earlier but in case I forgot-- are there people who actually do engage in this stealth feeding silliness or is it wholly confined to fantasy? What kind of dillhole would actually do it? 

Question 4000: is it even possible? It seems like a stretch for me. Your body is pretty aware of what you're feeding it, even if your personal home chef doesn't explicitly state it. I mean, after a week or so of lard shavings on my ceasar salad, I'd know that I was consuming more food than I had realized. Quite simply, you'd feel weird.


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## LoveBHMS (Apr 16, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> Dickbag. Heeeee. I'm 12.



Nope, can't take credit at all. "Dickbag" is the wholly owned province of Miss Elle Camino. I learned it from her.


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## alienlanes (Apr 16, 2007)

LoveBHMS said:


> if you are practicing this in a healthy and respectful manner, the subject of stealth feeding would not even exist.



My point exactly. But unfortunately there are men who _don't_ know how to have a healthy, consensual kink relationship. This is just speculation on my part, but I'd imagine that the typical "stealth feeder" is an older married guy who's ashamed of his desires and doesn't know how to broach the subject.

Us young'ns who grew up with the Internet and Dan Savage know how to have an honest and non-coercive kinky sex life, but a lot of older folks don't. The Anglophone world is still weighed down with plenty of Puritan baggage.

Does that excuse them? *Absolutely not.* But I think it explains them.

Rule 34 of the Internet states that, "no matter what it is, it's somebody's fetish," so I'm sure there are some genuine sociopaths out there who get off on the idea of non-consensual stealth feeding. But there are also a lot of repressed, frustrated guys who don't know how to deal openly with their fantasies. All we can do is try to demonstrate by example what sexual honesty looks like and hope that some of them will eventually find their way out of the closet.



> hire a pro



Wait, they have those?


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## alienlanes (Apr 16, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> Dickbag. Heeeee. I'm 12.



I'm a partisan of "douchehammer" myself. I think this makes me somewhere around 9.


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## Waxwing (Apr 16, 2007)

SlackerFA said:


> I'm a partisan of "douchehammer" myself. I think this makes me somewhere around 9.



*ponders* Hmm...douchehammer. I like it.

And your post above? Awesome.


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## LJ Rock (Apr 16, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> I may have asked this earlier but in case I forgot-- are there people who actually do engage in this stealth feeding silliness or is it wholly confined to fantasy?


 
I think this kind of thing is largely relegated (as are so many aspects of true feederism) to pure fantasy. Obviously, there are inumerable flaws with the idea of "stealth feeding" or "seceretely" fattening someone up, not to mention a definate breech of trust and ethics. However, I do think this "stealth feeding" thing is a very common (albeit silly) and seldom-discussed fantasy among many feeders and feedees, and usually plays out something like this:

*Feedee:* Oh goodness! I don't know why I keep gaining weight... I'm just getting bigger and bigger! 

*Feeder:* Oh sweetie, you look fine. You don't need to worry about your weight. 

*Feedee:* Are you sure? I'm not getting too *fat* for you? 

*Feeder:* Why not at all, dear. You are beautiful, the very picture of _perfection_! 

*Feedee:* Well, okay. If you say so... still, I just can't figure it out. 

_*** Feedee waddles off to get more food, as Feeder huddles off into the shadows to admire his secrete stash of *magic weight gain powder* and quietly laughing an *evil laugh* to himself (or *herself*).****_

lol I think this flight of fancy serves two purposes: for the so-called feeder it's a means of satisfying a sexual desire which he or she may not be yet comfortable with enough to fully deal with and accept _himself_ (or *herself*) let alone reveal to his or her *partner.* For the feedee, it is a way of exploring his or her desires to gain weight and get fatter without having to actually take responsibility for their actions: "Oh, it wasn't me! It wasn't my fault I got this way... it was all because of HIM (or HER!)" And yes, I made point of including both genders in each example, because it really does cut both ways. 

In any case, I don't think there is any real issue here to get up in arms about. It's not as if this is something that is going on all over the place all the time. As it has been stated, if someone is really trying to feed you or fatten you up, you're gonna know it... and any success they may be having is because you are choosing to play along.


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## missaf (Apr 16, 2007)

I'm not into feederism, but I am a nurturer, and sometimes to me, that implies a wonderfully delicious and fattening comfort-food meal is just what my friends or my man need. Perhaps it is stealth feeding, but to me, it's just a part of the hospitality I like to show people -- feeding is taking care of their needs.


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## Waxwing (Apr 16, 2007)

Thanks, LJ. That was pretty much what I assumed. It's just too unlikely as a real life scenario-- but fantasies are such great ways to do the things that we can't do in our everyday lives.


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## AnnMarie (Apr 16, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> the keebler elves are shifty, pointed-shoe-wearing little bastards. hell yes that's what they're doing. those guys will shoot you as soon as look at you.
> 
> (oh man now i want evil cookies)



Those sneaky, diminutive bastards tricked me into eating an entire package of E.L. Fudge Doublestuff cookies in two days. Evil, evil tree trolls.

I must have more.


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## Waxwing (Apr 16, 2007)

Truly they are the devil's minions.

mmmm...cookies.


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## chickadee (Apr 16, 2007)

I think this might be like the "I'm on the pill" and the "whoops forgot a pill, now I'm pregnant" thing. I am a big fan of being up-front with your partner and not pulling tricks. 

Now, this is not to say you can't make dinner and use full-fat and butter and stuff. I am just saying that it might be deceitful if someone is trying to lose weight/maintain and you start to give them super high cal stuff. 

I do wonder how people don't notice... of course there is this one time when I gained 30 lbs in 2 months and didn't notice... so it can happen!


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