# Long Distance Relationships



## bigmac (Jul 27, 2009)

Since BBWs and FA fill sort of a niche market in the larger dating economy it seems that a lot of us can't find their significant other locally and end up in long distance relationships. Myself, I married a girl that lives about 200 miles away -- not that far I know but enough to require that one of us quit their job and relocate. Most of the jobs in our respective occupations (criminal law and social work) are funded by state and county government and since the good old State of California is having some monetary issues there's not much hiring going on. So we're stuck seeing each other only on the weekends -- Monday's suck, hence this post.

Anyone else hating Mondays for this reason?


----------



## QuantumXL (Jul 28, 2009)

Well, I'm not employed, however, i understand your pain. We didn't get to see each other for 2 years, with the occasional 1-3 week trip with one another. We were on the verge of psychotic madness. I have no other way to put it. We had a 1,500 mile gap in between us, with the ability of only me being able to go down to see her. But man did i enjoy those 1-3 weeks we had together. Now we live together, and all is strong and well. We are ironing out the major problems we had before, and making them into strengths.


----------



## Fascinita (Jul 28, 2009)

QuantumXL said:


> Well, I'm not employed, however, i understand your pain. We didn't get to see each other for 2 years, with the occasional 1-3 week trip with one another. We were on the verge of psychotic madness. I have no other way to put it. We had a 1,500 mile gap in between us, with the ability of only me being able to go down to see her. But man did i enjoy those 1-3 weeks we had together. Now we live together, and all is strong and well. We are ironing out the major problems we had before, and making them into strengths.



Congrats! Good work.


----------



## ThatFatGirl (Jul 28, 2009)

I used to hate crawling into work on Mondays with a passion, not only because they inevitably meant I had said goodbye to my sweetie the day before, but also because I hated my evil, evil boss. I wanted to quit my job for years, but once I got in a relationship with my now-hubby, I knew I had to stay for the liberal time off it provided (16 vacation and 4 personal days). Being able to take as many three day weekends as I was able to got us through the two years and 550 miles we spent apart.

I don't know how this has been for you, but I found marrying before we actually lived in the same city together made things even more difficult. It just made that time that we weren't together resonate with "We SHOULD be together!" all the more and the reality that we couldn't yet, even more frustrating. 

Hang in there and good luck! Hopefully you'll be living together sooner than you know it and this time will just be a memory you'll reflect on as a difficult time you made it through to get to the good times you have now.


----------



## ryder (Jul 28, 2009)

When I first met her, Monday was just another day of the week. I worked at the radio station practically every day. The more I fell in love with her, the harder it was to realize just how far apart we were. We lived four states apart from each other. Over a period of twenty months, I twice flew out to see her for one week at at time before I ultimately gave up my radio career (I hated my boss with a passion) to be with her. We are now married with her staying employed, and I am unable to find any kind of radio gig anywhere nearby. Still, we keep going every day knowing we got lucky finding each other and being able to capitalize on the long distance relationship issue.
I say "good luck to everyone in a long-distance relationship!", and please remember that "today's impossibilities are tomorrow's miracles".


----------



## petunia805 (Jul 28, 2009)

LOL...we didn't just _get married_. NOOOO, we got married, had a baby, and set up not one, not two, but 3 households together to accommodate all our brood. No one can say we do things on a small scale. Thankfully, my government J.O.B. lets me take 3 day weekends everyother week, and gives me 5 paid vacation weeks and 9 holidays a year.

Finding the love-of-your-life in the fa/bbw dating pool is no small accomplishment in my opinion. These waters can be shallow and muddy at times. Not everyone who jumps in is someone you would want to date let alone marry! I once started chatting with a gentleman from Dims, who seemed nice and was only 50 miles away. He told me one day that he was going to stop talking to me because I was "geographically undesireable." 50 MILES!! OK, fine. But when I found my now hubby, 200 miles wasn't even an issue. He asked me out for dinner, and drove down to take me out, with every intention of driving back home after the date. (That didn't happen, but that is for another thread) We've been together every weekend except ONE since the day we met! We do what we have to to make it happen. I guess my point is that if you are lucky enough to find someone, who loves, appreciates, admires and respects you, who makes you crazy with lust, who makes you laugh and lifts you up, then don't let distance be the thing that keeps you from taking a chance. The love of your life COULD be next door....or in the next state.


And Bigmac, 200 miles is nothing! I'd drive 1000 miles to be with you! (well maybe FLY...but you get the point :wubu


----------



## Tad (Jul 28, 2009)

Back when we were dating my wife and I had over two years of long distance relationship, during which we mostly saw each other one weekend a month (and ran up brutal long distance phone bills, as this was before there were cheap long distance phoning option in Canada, and before there was instant messaging or even widely available email). Mondays were not so bad in general, in fact on the weeks we couldnt see each other they were almost a relief, as work made a good distraction for eight hours. Even after we had been together I found work was often a good distraction, better than being alone in my apartment anyway.

It was tough, no doubt. Really we were in limbo in a lot of ways, not really forming other social attachments or building strong roots where we were, because our spirits were so far away from our bodies, and we were living for the next time we were together. But we went ahead and got engaged after a couple of years of that, and very shortly after that I found work close enough to where she was at university that we could live together. 

For us, there is no question that the two years was worth the cost, frustration, and all of that. I think you can only know that for sure in hindsight, but I guess that is the case for relationships in general?


----------



## joh (Jul 28, 2009)

Having recently entered a semi-long distance relationship (hour and half drive, but with her entering college this upcoming semester and me with one year of highschool still to go it is difficult) it is very encouraging hearing so many successful long distance relationships!

Just from the ~month we've been together, it has been tougher than normal. Fortunately she stays over for a night every week which helps a lot, and if we're lucky we get to see each other a second time. It really helps when the second occasion of the week is spread out a few days from our last visit. Quenches my desire to see her just a little bit longer, holding me over until our next meeting


----------



## Fonzy (Jul 30, 2009)

Its wonderful to hear about all the successful stories on here folks, but its also a wee bit depressing aswell, since my own story is still in the very early stages! Is 7300 kilometers or 4530 miles too far ?


----------



## petunia805 (Jul 30, 2009)

Fonzy said:


> Its wonderful to hear about all the successful stories on here folks, but its also a wee bit depressing aswell, since my own story is still in the very early stages! Is 7300 kilometers or 4530 miles too far ?


 
only if you let it be.. Eventually, though, someone is going to have to move.


----------



## Duniwin (Aug 2, 2009)

My girlfriend and I are about 150 miles apart, and it's not ideal, but we're working it out. Right now is tough becuase I am working at camp and don't have time for anything else, but I still miss her a lot.
My biggest problem is lack of my own transportation. I'm working on that problem and once I own a car, I plan on us spending more time together.


----------



## Rowan (Aug 2, 2009)

Mike and I are in what you'd call a LDR I suppose, he lives about 2 hours away. Ive been totally fortunate that he has driven up here as much as he has to see me since ive been recovering from my surgery. Once I am back to work and have a regular paycheck again starting on the 10th of august, we will get to see one another more often, as I will be able to travel down there to see him as well. But its definitely hard because we do miss one another quite a bit in between visits. Talking every day helps, but it certainly isnt the same as being together.


----------



## Sugar (Aug 2, 2009)

LDR's are hard not matter what. I'm in Colorado and my boyfriend is in NYC. We'll get to see each other in August, October and November. We do talk all day thru text and calls and on YIM...but nothing can replace quiet couple time. 

Despite the difficulty of being thousands of miles from him...we are both sure this is what we want and we work daily to get to a place were we are together. We are worth it.


----------



## ksandru (Aug 6, 2009)

Fonzy said:


> Its wonderful to hear about all the successful stories on here folks, but its also a wee bit depressing aswell, since my own story is still in the very early stages! Is 7300 kilometers or 4530 miles too far ?




I met my hubby Nick in 2003. When we first started chatting, I was living in CT and he was a Romanian living in Denmark. So that was quite a distance to overcome!  After many phone calls, webcam chats & IM'S we finally met one another in 2002 and decided we wanted to be together on a permanent basis. He came here in 2003 and we married in November of the same year. Almost 6 years later, with 2 beautiful boys and a home, we're still going strong! So long distance relationships can definitely work. We're living proof!


----------



## exile in thighville (Aug 6, 2009)

more like long dickstance relationships eh eh


----------



## Fonzy (Aug 6, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> more like long dickstance relationships eh eh



What ya on about Mr. Exile? 

I recently had my commitment to my relationship questioned by someone who shall remain anonymous. I was being more sarcastic than anything else about the distance thing in my first post (bragging rights, still have the furthest one ). To me distance is like alot of other things such as money, height, weight, age and time.................. just a number used to quantify things. I am at a point in my life where I have both the tools and options at my disposal to allow me to reduce the 4530 miles between me and my other half, down to nothing. I've never been in a long distance relationship before and as a result I have no personal experience as to whether or not they work, but what I do know is that the distance part is but one small hurdle which both my muffin and myself are prepared to overcome because we both feel that each other is worth it!


----------



## ssflbelle (Aug 6, 2009)

I wish a lot more man thought as you do and have the tools available to them to become involved in a long distance relationship. Even though I traveled to meet men very few have traveled my way. 



Fonzy said:


> ). To me distance is like alot of other things such as money, height, weight, age and time.................. just a number used to quantify things. I am at a point in my life where I have both the tools and options at my disposal to allow me to reduce the 4530 miles between me and my other half, down to nothing.


----------



## Tina (Aug 7, 2009)

My husband and I were in a LDR for over 3.5 years before we were married, and almost 4.5 years before we actually started living together. 

LDRs have its challenges, that's for sure. It can work, but of course some things must be understood, and it helps to have the attitude that if it's meant to be it will be, and there is no reason to rush into anything. Matter of fact, IMO, someone pressuring me into hurrying up and getting together would have been a red flag for me and would have made me back away.


----------



## bmann0413 (Aug 9, 2009)

Yeah, me and my ex-girlfriend actually broke up BECAUSE of the distance. I'm in Louisiana, she was in Florida. We both decided that it'd be best if we stayed friends though. But I'll view this as a learning experience. That is what a failure is, after all.


----------



## NoWayOut (Aug 11, 2009)

Yeah, mine is kind of a double pain because I've chosen a life that can require me to move around quite a bit. In the last two years, I've lived in Virginia, Missouri, New Jersey and have now moved to Idaho. Even with that moving, I haven't met anyone while living in one of those states that was critical enough to stay for. Most of the girls I talk to live too far away for me to see them.

So it's hard. It might just be a sacrifice of this life, I don't honestly know. But when I work late, which is always, it makes talking with someone who's far away harder.


----------



## CurvaceousBBWLover (Aug 11, 2009)

LDRs can seem and sound interesting. I would be willing to consider one if I had the money and vacation time.


----------



## MissStacie (Aug 11, 2009)

Hi there,

I've been in a LDR with my love and fellow Dims member, Boris, for 18 mos now and we've been lucky to manage to have gotten together 3 times, he's been here once, and I've gone to Germany twice. I can't say that its always been easy, because when you love someone, all you want to do is be WITH THEM, and the big old pond between us and of course, finances, keep that from happening easily.

However, I have to say that while it was hard, I'm happy that we've had to depend on modern technology to develop our relationship because I sincerely feel that I know him better than I know most people that I see on a daily basis. A lot of times, new relationships are carnal in nature and while that is NOT a bad thing at all, it sometimes gets in the way of developing the EMOTIONAL and PERSONAL part of the relationship. I love every email, every text and every phone call we've ever had because its allowed me to learn about him, inside and out, his mind and heart, and aside from him being the sexiest man I've met, his mind and heart are even sexier..

So, long story summarized: Don't be afraid of LDR's....they can work out marvelously well....We're getting married September 26th!

Stacie


----------



## petunia805 (Aug 12, 2009)

That's fantastic Miss Stacie!!

I have to agree with you about the development of a deeper relationship. I think that I have probably spent more time actually TALKING to my husband that to any other person in my life. and we've only been together 2 years next month. I know just about everything about him, his family, his wants, needs, desires, dreams. Its great. He knows me better than anyone in the world, and that is such a good feeling. I credit the distance for making that happen. 

Again, so very happy for you! Congrats!



MissStacie said:


> Hi there,
> 
> I've been in a LDR with my love and fellow Dims member, Boris, for 18 mos now and we've been lucky to manage to have gotten together 3 times, he's been here once, and I've gone to Germany twice. I can't say that its always been easy, because when you love someone, all you want to do is be WITH THEM, and the big old pond between us and of course, finances, keep that from happening easily.
> 
> ...


----------



## Haunted (Aug 12, 2009)

petunia805 said:


> That's fantastic Miss Stacie!!
> 
> I have to agree with you about the development of a deeper relationship. I think that I have probably spent more time actually TALKING to my husband that to any other person in my life. and we've only been together 2 years next month. I know just about everything about him, his family, his wants, needs, desires, dreams. Its great. He knows me better than anyone in the world, and that is such a good feeling. I credit the distance for making that happen.
> 
> Again, so very happy for you! Congrats!



I have to agree when all you have is phone calls, text messages, Emails and or a webcam you tend to learn alot more about your partner and yourself. We been together for about 17 months and we'v travelled back and forth about 9 or 10 times and those long stretches apart arte very hard but we have grown so close we can finish each others sentences lol


----------



## PhatChk (Aug 12, 2009)

As I just got dumped because of the distance .. do not recommend it. It was second try and it failed. I am not looking for a third time.


----------



## MissStacie (Aug 12, 2009)

PhatChk said:


> As I just got dumped because of the distance .. do not recommend it. It was second try and it failed. I am not looking for a third time.



I'm so sorry that it didn't work, but to be honest, if BOTH partners are invested and COMMITTED to making a relationship work, then it WILL work. And, if it DOESN'T work, then there might be other incompatibility issues.

Keep your chin up, long or short distance, you'll find your partner!

Stacie


----------



## suebeehoney (Aug 15, 2009)

Here's to relationships, long or short distance....may we all find happy ones!


----------



## SSQT (Aug 15, 2009)

MissStacie said:


> I'm so sorry that it didn't work, but to be honest, if BOTH partners are invested and COMMITTED to making a relationship work, then it WILL work. And, if it DOESN'T work, then there might be other incompatibility issues.
> 
> Keep your chin up, long or short distance, you'll find your partner!
> 
> Stacie



You are oh so right, Miss Stacie! Congrats on the engagement! ;-)


----------



## SSQT (Aug 15, 2009)

petunia805 said:


> only if you let it be.. Eventually, though, someone is going to have to move.



Too true! After only 3 months of traveling 425 miles one way (through Chicago, no less!), many long distance phone calls, and of course online e-mails and chats, I finally moved to be with my honey. You get to the point where you can't stand being apart any longer! We were together 6 years, even got engaged, but it didn't work out. So don't let distance stop you LOL! Best wishes everyone! ;-)


----------



## chocolate desire (Aug 30, 2009)

I have been daiting my guy for one and a half years and we are what seems like light years apart( He is in the UK and I am here in the US) at times. We have had some rough patches and the economy is not helping things at the moment because he has been trying to get here since may. We had dreams of living in Fl before the summer was over we was not even able to go visit..Our love is strong though and I trust him and he trust me at least I think he does lol. I know it is hard for him with me being a model and doing sets with guys for my site but he knows he owns my heart and thats just work that I hope will lead us quicker to our dreams.


----------



## JohnWylde (Aug 30, 2009)

You are right Renee that 4500 miles or so does make it seem like we are an ocean apart at times!

Its also seems to cost a bit more than a bus ride - I'm sure visits must be around $10K so far.

But it is cruel being far apart - I do miss You Renee.

We just spend hours online when we are apart - the internet certainly helps to keep in contact.

John




chocolate desire said:


> I have been daiting my guy for one and a half years and we are what seems like light years apart( He is in the UK and I am here in the US) at times. We have had some rough patches and the economy is not helping things at the moment because he has been trying to get here since may. We had dreams of living in Fl before the summer was over we was not even able to go visit..Our love is strong though and I trust him and he trust me at least I think he does lol. I know it is hard for him with me being a model and doing sets with guys for my site but he knows he owns my heart and thats just work that I hope will lead us quicker to our dreams.


----------



## nykspree8 (Sep 4, 2009)

LDRs are tricky and require a lot of work from both parties involved. They can be very frustrating at times but if you both love each other, trust each other, are committed, and want it to work, then it will


----------



## Big Beautiful Dreamer (Sep 4, 2009)

For a year, I spent four days each week living three hours from my husband and children while finishing graduate school. This year, the children are with me and the husband spends Sunday evening through Friday morning two hours away for his job -- my internship is here.

We've been married sixteen years and the kids are 15 and 11. Also, he's a great guy. I don't know how well it would work if we were dating, or kid-free, or married less time. 

In college I dated someone six hours away. We did great by letter (we wrote each other every day) but lousy when actually together.


----------



## nykspree8 (Sep 4, 2009)

Rowan said:


> Mike and I are in what you'd call a LDR I suppose, he lives about 2 hours away. Ive been totally fortunate that he has driven up here as much as he has to see me since ive been recovering from my surgery. Once I am back to work and have a regular paycheck again starting on the 10th of august, we will get to see one another more often, as I will be able to travel down there to see him as well. But its definitely hard because we do miss one another quite a bit in between visits. Talking every day helps, but it certainly isnt the same as being together.



2 HOURS DOESN'T COUNT!!! :O lol, jk  Even two hours is rough when you just wanna be with that person and just wish you lived a town away and could just swing on over any time you wanted to


----------



## jakub (Sep 4, 2009)

Nowadays its easier to be with someone with constant touch... You can run Skype 24h per day with HD video, put image of your woman/man on 42'' screen.

I know its not best solution... but better than nothing.


----------



## Tracy (Sep 4, 2009)

These are some great stories that have been posted and I commend those of you who have stuck with it and turned it into happy endings. If I am ever involved in a LDR I hope that I have what it takes to be strong and patient.


----------



## washburn (Sep 19, 2009)

Fonzy said:


> Its wonderful to hear about all the successful stories on here folks, but its also a wee bit depressing aswell, since my own story is still in the very early stages! Is 7300 kilometers or 4530 miles too far ?



read my sig man, it tells it as it is right now for me, dont let distance mess you up.


----------



## Hathor (Sep 19, 2009)

I love LDRs because I'm busy enough as it is. It's easier to communicate and I'm more willing to carve out time from my schedule to speak with someone long distance than someone who lives across town. Weird? Maybe... 

Most of my relationships have been long distance. Some we planned to meet but something inevitably happened and that was that. 

I tend to give 110% and the guy maybe... 45%, so that was always one issue. And then I've always had jobs where it was difficult to get time away (like having no vacation time). Usually the guy didn't want to travel to see me, but go halfway instead. I guess it's intimidating. 

But.... I'm still all for LDRs. =) They're a great thing when both are willing to give 100% to each other.


----------



## Rowan (Sep 19, 2009)

Hathor said:


> I love LDRs because I'm busy enough as it is. It's easier to communicate and I'm more willing to carve out time from my schedule to speak with someone long distance than someone who lives across town. Weird? Maybe...
> 
> Most of my relationships have been long distance. Some we planned to meet but something inevitably happened and that was that.
> 
> ...



OMG you are so preachin to the choir on this one with me darlin! lol


----------



## cityslicker (Sep 19, 2009)

> I recently had my commitment to my relationship questioned by someone who shall remain anonymous. I was being more sarcastic than anything else about the distance thing in my first post (bragging rights, still have the furthest one ). To me distance is like alot of other things such as money, height, weight, age and time.................. just a number used to quantify things. I am at a point in my life where I have both the tools and options at my disposal to allow me to reduce the 4530 miles between me and my other half, down to nothing. I've never been in a long distance relationship before and as a result I have no personal experience as to whether or not they work, but what I do know is that the distance part is but one small hurdle which both my muffin and myself are prepared to overcome because we both feel that each other is worth it!



Distance is only a number that you let get in the way of someone you love and only time will tell if your relationship can survive such a distance.:doh:


----------



## Gingembre (Sep 19, 2009)

Hathor said:


> I tend to give 110% and the guy maybe... 45%





Rowan said:


> OMG you are so preachin to the choir on this one with me darlin! lol



Totally feeling you both on this one!


----------



## Fonzy (Sep 20, 2009)

cityslicker said:


> Distance is only a number that you let get in the way of someone you love and only time will tell if your relationship can survive such a distance.:doh:



Perhaps you didn't read my post completely BRADLEY, but that is essentially what I said, admittedly in rather more words , distance is only a number, as is time created by us mere mortals (humans) to help us quantifiy things, and only time will tell if you EVER clue in to the fact that you won't ever get with my girlfriend to satisfy your animalistic desires. :bow:


----------



## northwestbbw (Sep 20, 2009)

Fonzy said:


> Perhaps you didn't read my post completely BRADLEY, but that is essentially what I said, admittedly in rather more words , distance is only a number, as is time created by us mere mortals (humans) to help us quantifiy things, and only time will tell if you EVER clue in to the fact that you won't ever get with my girlfriend to satisfy your animalistic desires. :bow:



WORD! nicely said. ;p haha


----------



## Fonzy (Sep 20, 2009)

northwestbbw said:


> WORD! nicely said. ;p haha



WORD.......... is I'm slightly pissed lol, but don't tell Larry


----------



## northwestbbw (Sep 20, 2009)

Fonzy said:


> WORD.......... is I'm slightly pissed lol, but don't tell Larry



haha well if you didn't want "Larry" to know you probably shouldn't have posted it on a forum where she can see haha


----------



## Fonzy (Sep 20, 2009)

Touche :blush:


----------



## Rowan (Sep 20, 2009)

ok...as of a bit ago...no more ldr...and got the "oh you're such an amazing gf"

apparently not so much or i wouldnt be single again all of a sudden. *sigh*


----------



## Fonzy (Sep 20, 2009)

Rowan said:


> ok...as of a bit ago...no more ldr...and got the "oh you're such an amazing gf"
> 
> apparently not so much or i wouldnt be single again all of a sudden. *sigh*



Sorry to hear that Rowan  *virtual huggle*


----------



## Rowan (Sep 20, 2009)

ty..just wish i didnt hurt so much


----------



## dynomite_gurl (Sep 22, 2009)

Rowan said:


> ok...as of a bit ago...no more ldr...and got the "oh you're such an amazing gf"
> 
> apparently not so much or i wouldnt be single again all of a sudden. *sigh*



I'm sorry to hear that, but know that with that relationship, there is someone out there who is truly for you


----------



## Tad (Sep 22, 2009)

Rowan said:


> ok...as of a bit ago...no more ldr...and got the "oh you're such an amazing gf"
> 
> apparently not so much or i wouldnt be single again all of a sudden. *sigh*



Sorry to hear that  

I'm sure you are hurting now, but given what you said about the effort being put in from both sides, it might be for the best in the long run? Freeing you up for someone who is up to being a more equal partner with you.

Good luck with the break-up blues.


----------



## BigCutieSasha (Sep 22, 2009)

I'm currently in a LDR, and while it has its moments that require more work than others, it seems to do well for now. I feel like being in a long distance relationship is like losing one of your senses. All your other senses heighten to make up for the one missing, and in LDR's I feel like the physical closeness you don't get to have has to be overcompensated with other areas in the relationship. Like talking more than you would if you were in town together. Also the little things matter so much more. I have over 7,000 miles between me and Ben, but honesty, lots of communication and thoughtful little gestures I think are what keep us going from visit to visit. 

I also started taking on some of the financial burden. Seeing as I would take up two seats on the plane, plus renting a car, and he lives with his brother, it just makes sense for him to visit me, and me help out financially so it doesn't always land on him. 

Skype deserves a shout out considering it's saved us thousands on phone bills costs even though those are still high for us because sometimes the phone is just so much better. 

Props to anyone who is in an LDR.


----------



## Sugar (Sep 22, 2009)

MsSasha said:


> I'm currently in a LDR, and while it has its moments that require more work than others, it seems to do well for now. I feel like being in a long distance relationship is like losing one of your senses. All your other senses heighten to make up for the one missing, and in LDR's I feel like the physical closeness you don't get to have has to be overcompensated with other areas in the relationship. Like talking more than you would if you were in town together. Also the little things matter so much more. I have over 7,000 miles between me and Ben, but honesty, lots of communication and thoughtful little gestures I think are what keep us going from visit to visit.
> 
> I also started taking on some of the financial burden. Seeing as I would take up two seats on the plane, plus renting a car, and he lives with his brother, it just makes sense for him to visit me, and me help out financially so it doesn't always land on him.
> 
> ...



I saw on TV that Vonage now has world wide calling for 24.99 a month. Have you used them?


----------



## wrestlingguy (Sep 24, 2009)

Rowan said:


> ok...as of a bit ago...no more ldr...and got the "oh you're such an amazing gf"
> 
> apparently not so much or i wouldnt be single again all of a sudden. *sigh*



Sorry I didn't see this sooner, Rowan *hug*.

These kinds of breakups are not always about distance, they can happen right in your backyard, if both partners are not on the same page emotionally.

It will always hurt, but remember, don't settle. You deserve better.


----------



## Rowan (Sep 24, 2009)

wrestlingguy said:


> Sorry I didn't see this sooner, Rowan *hug*.
> 
> These kinds of breakups are not always about distance, they can happen right in your backyard, if both partners are not on the same page emotionally.
> 
> It will always hurt, but remember, don't settle. You deserve better.



Thank you hon..its just hard to let someone in like i did and have it end


----------



## chocolate desire (Sep 27, 2009)

LDR are very very hard in these days and times when money is so short but if the love is real and true it will work but BOTH parties have to work on it. As the saying goes where there is a will there is a way. The most important part is dont let the distance have you at a standstill for months and months at a time always try to show that the days are growing shorter for the magic day when you can be together.Even if that day is months or a year away.


----------



## ep3er (Sep 27, 2009)

Well, we lived in Virginia until my wife's government contract job expired on April. I was still employed at a Lexus dealership. She felt into a deep depression and wanted to come back to California because she missed her friends and family.
We decided for her to go ahead and move back with the kids provided that I will join them IF I get a job offer. So I asked for a week off and drove my famikly across the country to Cali. When we got there I applied in person to several dealershipr in the area to no avail.
I flew back to Virginia and it was tough not being with the family. Our long distance relationship wasn't going to work out mainly because I don't believe in them. I started applying onine and calling places trying to score a job anywhere until one morning a Lexus dealer in San Diego called me. I spoke with the lady and based on what we talked, the position was going to be held for me. 
I right away put in my 2 weeks notice, and drove back again. Once I got to Cali I called the Lexus dealer and the HR lady told me she was sorry, the position was given to someone else.
Now I am stuck here, unemployed. I can't go back to my old job because I would have to wait a year to be rehired.
The wife is back working but not earning the same money she used to and we stayed at her grandparent's house.
We started to drift apart little by little and then it happened. Divorce is in the works. She filed about a month ago and I am just waiting for the worse.
She started to go out with her friends after work and I everything is just falling apart.


----------



## dan_shone (Sep 30, 2009)

Am just starting out in a potential long distance relationship, but things are getting complicated already. This thread has been soo helpful and I am going to persever take things as they some.


----------



## dynomite_gurl (Oct 1, 2009)

Are frustrating, complicated, confusing, unknowing,lonely...blah


----------



## cityslicker (Oct 2, 2009)

dynomite_gurl said:


> Are frustrating, complicated, confusing, unknowing,lonely...blah



Don't be sad sweetie. I was in an LDR before, things are definitely difficult! If you ever need to chat, I'm here


----------



## wrestlingguy (Oct 2, 2009)

I think each relationship is unique, and while this thread recommends some guidelines that can be used to measure LDR's, each one should be weighed on its own merits.

The tendency for many people in LDR's is to want to step it up a notch, to bring one of the people into the others life, work, living arrangement. It makes it hard when the other person has situations that tie them to where they are. We're human, and in this world today, we look more towards immediate gratification, rather than to let things develop on their own. From personal experience, I can say that nothing good ever comes out of tampering with nature......and both people involved in LDR's would be far better served by letting nature take its course.


----------



## Sugar (Oct 2, 2009)

dynomite_gurl said:


> Are frustrating, complicated, confusing, unknowing,lonely...blah



(((Hugs))) I know what you mean.


----------



## Sugar (Oct 2, 2009)

wrestlingguy said:


> I think each relationship is unique, and while this thread recommends some guidelines that can be used to measure LDR's, each one should be weighed on its own merits.
> 
> The tendency for many people in LDR's is to want to step it up a notch, to bring one of the people into the others life, work, living arrangement. It makes it hard when the other person has situations that tie them to where they are. We're human, and in this world today, we look more towards immediate gratification, rather than to let things develop on their own. From personal experience, I can say that nothing good ever comes out of tampering with nature......and both people involved in LDR's would be far better served by letting nature take its course.



I agree you can't put both ends against the middle but I think it was Tooz who mentioned on a different thread about LDR's that both people working towards that common goal of being in the same place makes a difference. I fully agree with that because few can do the LD part for years and years. It's a balancing act and if both people don't make an effort to be balanced the whole thing will teeter over.


----------



## dynomite_gurl (Oct 4, 2009)

Here are some links for LDR's that I found. Hope someone finds them helpful. 



http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/26_dating_tips.html

http://lovesagame.com/10-rules-to-make-long-distance-relationships-work/2/


----------

