# What makes someone undateable to you?



## Canonista (Apr 10, 2007)

What traits/habits/lifestyle would eliminate someone from consideration for dating, no matter how nice they were otherwise?

1. Serial breeders: too many "baby daddy's"

2. Cat rancher

3. Apron strings- gotta be free from mommy

4. Physically abusive relationship in past 2 years.

5. More than two physically abusive relationships ever.

6. Drinks/has DUI arrest record.

What is it you just can't overlook no matter how hard you try?


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## DeniseW (Apr 10, 2007)

I don't date anymore because I'm married but for me the main dealbreaker was smoking. I hate it, hate it, hate it. Also having no job, no car, too many kids with other women......and more than one ex-wife


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## Blackjack (Apr 10, 2007)

A pulse. ..


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## Canonista (Apr 10, 2007)

Blackjack said:


> A pulse. ..



Well there you go with them high standards again!


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Apr 10, 2007)

1) Overbreeder

2) Stupid

3) Not clean

4) Pseudointellectual

5) Hates animals

6) Narcissistic


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## LoveBHMS (Apr 10, 2007)

I once dated a guy that wasn't so much a momma's boy but really emotionally enmeshed with his family of origin. He spent a huge amount of his social time with them, went on vacations with them, talked to them daily, and talked about them constantly.

It is so emotionally trying. I mean, you'd expect to compete with another woman, but not with a guy who'd rather go to a baseball game with his father then go on a date.


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## ActionPif (Apr 10, 2007)

Blackjack said:


> A pulse. ..



In that case, I've got some real lookers lined up for yourself:




















The desaliniation plant may be a rough one to get off the proveribal ground, but judging by your (only) stated non-preference, you two should get along famously. 

:bow:


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## Tooz (Apr 10, 2007)

1: Children or a desire to spawn them.
2: Hatred of cats.
3: Lack of intelligence.
4: An unattractive voice.

That's all I can think of for now. Also, yay, 1,000th post!:batting:


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## GeorgeNL (Apr 10, 2007)

Negativity. Someone who's only able to see the down side of everything. A positive spirit makes life so much sunnier.


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## activistfatgirl (Apr 10, 2007)

*1.* Homophobia
*2. *Sexism/racism/classism/ihateeveryoneism
*3. *Stayathomeism (meaning only wantin' to be a homebody and not have adventures)
*4.* Apathy and lack of ambition
*5. *Raging capitalism unless said person is very attractive and fun, whereby 5 will be ignored as long as gifts and sex are plentiful.
*6. *Major social anxiety/not outgoing/painfully shy. (Stay at home with mother, you loser.)
*7. *The little things: Calling me "babe" before you know me, kicking puppies, hatin' kittens, littering and not recycling, having ThisiswhatIDOism:not being adaptable to different cultural, musical, and entertainment experiences (NO I will not go out with you to your favorite bar every night! Also similiar to people with stayathomeism.)


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## Blackjack (Apr 10, 2007)

activistfatgirl said:


> NO I will not go out with you to your favorite bar every night!



Now you've done it. You've gone and broken their hearts.






SEE? THEY'VE LOST THE WILL TO LIVE!


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## activistfatgirl (Apr 10, 2007)

ha ha, i love that movie. but those guys are pretty undateable, unless they're willing to go salsa dancing with me tomorrow and bobsledding saturday.

eta: have i ever told the story about the boy here in MI that only EVER wants to "rent a movie". I'm confident that even without hope for what ELSE "renting a movie" usually means, that he's serious about it. It's what he DOES. And I can't stand it. I see him call or IM and I'm like "hmmm, I don't feel like a movie" and its done.


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## BubbleButtBabe (Apr 10, 2007)

1. Rude
2. Stupid
3. whiny high pitched voice ( I love a man with a very deep voice!)
4. Mama's boy..I was married to one of them and wont do it again!
5. Unemployed
6. Drunk
7. Druggie
8. Way to young!( I do not care if you love older women..If you are the same age or younger then my children...Move on!)
9. Abusive
10. Ill mannered
11. No respect for self or any one else

I have a few more but that is the short list of how I feel..


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## Dr. Feelgood (Apr 10, 2007)

What makes women undateable?



My wife.


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## Waxwing (Apr 10, 2007)

1. stupidity
2. social/political ignorance
3. shitty taste in music
4. an inability to understand why Mr. Show is hilarious
5. flip flops or man sandals of any kind


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## tonynyc (Apr 10, 2007)

1. Rudeness
2. Smoker
3. Lack of Common Sense
4. Lack of Ambition


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## AnnMarie (Apr 10, 2007)

I'll go by things that have occurred in my past that became part of my list: 


Unwillingness/inability to please me sexually after having been told what to do/how to do it (this isn't a jailbreak either - we're talking BASICS!!) 

Controlling/manipulative treatment of me or others

Inconsiderate smokers

Prejudice on pretty much any level

Twitchy (hard to nail down, but I know it when I see it)

Diminutive features (not what you're thinking....)

No sense of humor or appreciation of sarcasm

Pretentiousness

Dislike or indifference towards animals

No preference for dating fat girls

No oral sex (there are a few exceptions, but it's always going to be a problem)

Active addict/alcoholic, etc.

Far off my political leanings

It sounds like a bunch of issues, but they actually very rarely come up, and pretty much never more than one thing at a time.... so not a big deal.

Other things but not in a "serious" manner because it would just NEVER happen: 


combovers
thong underwear
football pants (you know what I mean... big, baggy, striped in bright colors... eeewww!!!)
spitting!!!!!!
unclean
toothless or really, really messed up teeth (I mean Halloween mask messed up!!)


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## onecurvybabe (Apr 10, 2007)

1. lazy
2. no motivation or goals
3. affraid to try new things
4. liars
5. criminal history
6. doesn't floss!!=0)


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## Tina (Apr 10, 2007)

I have to say that AFG pretty much made my list for me, with just a few exceptions:

--A tendency towards violence.
-- Public nose picker and/or snot flinger -- meaning blowing one's nose without a tissue and just letting it fly. *shudder*
-- Smokers
-- Liars, and particularly compulsive liars.
-- Unrepentant and profuse litterers. If you litter and have no intention to stop, I don't want to be around you, let alone in a realtionship with you. Now that I look, I see that AFG kind of included that one. Oh well.  
-- Total slobs, both in their grooming and housekeeping. I'm not anal about cleanliness, and don't at all expect a perfect house, but I cannot handle a filthy, beyond messy house.

I'm lucky, though, because my darling Biggie isn't any of those things.


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## ripley (Apr 10, 2007)

Bad hygiene.
Pomposity. 
Stupidity.
Lack of compassion.
Not liking pets/animals.
Shame over me/my weight.
Extremely differing politics.
Constant stressing/drama/angst.
Smoker.
Heavy drinker.


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## Chimpi (Apr 10, 2007)

activistfatgirl said:


> *3. *Stayathomeism (meaning only wantin' to be a homebody and not have adventures)



I was sitting there thinking "What in the world could she mean by _stay - yath - ohme - ism_"??? *sigh*

I'm pretty lenient, but some major ones would be:

Smoker
Inability to show emotion
Lack of appreciation for the small things
Inconsiderate towards other human beings
Constant wreckless driving
A drunkard/druggie
The attitude that 'jazz music' is the greatest form of expression in the world

Even when it comes to some of those, I'm pretty lenient. I think AnnMarie did a wonderful job of adding "inconsiderate" in front of smoker.


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## clynn (Apr 10, 2007)

Men who use sarcasm at inappropriate times because they don't know how to connect with people.


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## Tina (Apr 10, 2007)

Chimpi, I think she meant Stay At Home ism, meaning boring person who never wants to go out and experience new things.

I should have added:

-- alcoholic or drug-addicted to my list.


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## ripley (Apr 10, 2007)

Tina said:


> I should have added:
> 
> -- alcoholic or drug-addicted to my list.



Well that rules Biggie out; we all know he's rollin' with the homies sellin' crack on the corner. He's so gangsta it's not even funny. 




 A joke if you're really that credulous.


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## elle camino (Apr 10, 2007)

honestly, first and foremost: shitty taste in music. it's just never going to work. there is NO way i can respect a guy who listens to fucking nickelback. i won't even sit in the same room with a korn cd. it's just...all it takes is the most tenuous thread of intelligence and creative thought to realize that some music is just horrible, and if that's missing then it's going to cause problems in pretty much every other aspect of the relationship. 

there are more but i feel obligated to explain them all for some reason, so i only have energy for the one right now.


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## BLUEeyedBanshee (Apr 10, 2007)

1. married
2. more than one divorce
3. has children and not involved in their lives
4. abusive 
5. no sense of humor
6. inability to respect elders
7. smoker, heavy drinker, drug user (actually prefer someone like me, always been drugfree.)
8. unaccepting of differences (racist, sexist, etc)

That's about it.


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## Takera (Apr 10, 2007)

Reason I wouldn't date someone...
Lets see.... 

1. Tabacco use, whether smoking or chewing

2. Drug use

3. Ingnorance, and/ or the inability to see other points of veiw as being valid and worthy in their own right, even if you don't necessarily agree Also being closed to learning about new ideas and new ways of viewing the world.

4. Controlling personalities

5. No ambition, or goals and/ or jobless or not getting an education for a potential job

6. Fundementalist tendencies in any part of life (especially religion)

7. Fascination with any type of violence... especailly a fascination with guns. 

8. Someone who never wanted to do things for fun ... like go dancing and traveling 

9. Unwillingness to see to my needs in bed as well as theirs... including unwillingness to experiment.

10. No desire or care for family, or friends. they should at least be involved in their family but not "mama's boys". 

11. Someone who only dated me for fun... and didn't care about my opinions or thoughts or heart... only my body... (I know this sounds egotistical but it's a very real fear... considering the type of guys that like me and the fact that I have no intentions of getting any bigger... But I'm scared I'm not strong enough to make my desires the priority)

Minor Issues:
~ Tighty Whities 
~ Wearing only tube socks to bed
~ No liking to read 
~ Not tolerating Anime or Manga
~ Not tolerating Star Trek
~ Sex Changes

Ok maybe I'm picky...:blush:


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## GoddessNoir (Apr 10, 2007)

Having had children out of wedlock, especially if they are younger, (under 10), if it happened when he was a young guy and he hasn't had any since, I think I can deal.

Having more than one child, especially if with more than one woman.

Someone who is close minded, not ambitious or has low self esteem.

Someone who is not gainfully employable.

Bad teeth and hygiene.

Someone too small (thin or short).

Any association with drugs, excessive alcohol, criminal behavior and any of those other "bad things" are a given.

Someone who is not honest or forthcoming.

Someone who is irresponsible and not willing to be an adult.


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## Mini (Apr 10, 2007)

Biggest issue, bar none, is stupidity. I've dated an idiot. Won't do it again.

There are some other things (poor hygiene, lack of self-respect, too uptight, no sense of humor, etc.), but general dumbness is the King of the Deal-Breakers.


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## AnnMarie (Apr 10, 2007)

Chimpi said:


> Even when it comes to some of those, I'm pretty lenient. I think AnnMarie did a wonderful job of adding "inconsiderate" in front of smoker.



Yeah, to be perfectly honest I PREFER non-smokers greatly (I've never smoked a cig in my life), but I also realize that it is a very real thing for some people and if I eliminated all manner of smokers from my dating pool, I'd not have had my last 3 boyfriends. 

With that said... NONE of them smoked around me, they all are perfectly happy to smoke outside, etc. And as long as that's the only impact it has on me, I'm ok. The smell sucks, yes... but most of them were happy to brush up so they could get a smooch.


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## Fuzzy (Apr 10, 2007)

Is that all I need to do to get a smooch?  

Nevermind what Mrs. Fuzzy might think.


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## Fuzzy (Apr 10, 2007)

I know, I know. I've tried to keep out of the all the new singles threads since I'm totally not single. And perverted.


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## elle camino (Apr 10, 2007)

Mini said:


> too uptight


lollin @ this


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## stan_der_man (Apr 10, 2007)

Tina said:


> ...
> 
> -- Public nose picker and/or snot flinger -- meaning blowing one's nose without a tissue and just letting it fly. *shudder*



I hear you on that one Tina. A true gentleman always blows snot-rockets out of sight and earshot from the ladies.   

Here's one that I haven't heard yet... I don't like to emphasize negativities per se, so I'll put it this way:
Mental stability is sexy.

fa_man_stan


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## Tina (Apr 10, 2007)

Ha!! Yeah, Stan, it's so much better that way. Do it when she's not lookin'! 


ripley said:


> Well that rules Biggie out; we all know he's rollin' with the homies sellin' crack on the corner. He's so gangsta it's not even funny.


True!! Rip, he's so far gone into it that he cannot even say "hippopotamus" or "citrus" correctly! If you don't believe me, ask him when you see him. It's the first sign he's completely wasted.


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## Santaclear (Apr 10, 2007)

- Constant stench.
- Making bird sounds and spitting while I'm trying to talk on the phone.
- Loud, incredibly irritating voice.
- Previously married more than four times. 
- Sucker punches.
- Too serious.
- Always insulting everyone.
- Pyromaniac.
- Incessant shrill whiner.
- Choking me while I'm trying to drive.


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## Blackjack (Apr 10, 2007)

fa_man_stan said:


> Mental stability is sexy.



Come on, you act like it's bad not knowing just who's coming to dinner when invite your girlfriend over.


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## AnnMarie (Apr 10, 2007)

Fuzzy said:


> Is that all I need to do to get a smooch?
> 
> Nevermind what Mrs. Fuzzy might think.



LOL... I'd give you a smooch with Mrs. Fuzzy's blessing. You've always been so good to me, a smooch seems in order.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 10, 2007)

1. Wayyyyy too much die hard love of George Bush- my last bf was a republican but we finally agreed to disagree and not discuss politics  
If he had kept on some tangent about Bush, I'm sure it would have been our ultimate demise. I really prefer men that can see some things the way I do at least part of the time. 

2. Stupidity and an inherent talent at f*cking up everything

3. Pushiness/control issues- I'm capable and not looking for Daddy at 38 years old- I prefer a man that sees me as intelligent. 

4. Poor hygiene- don't be lazy

5. being a sponge that "borrows" money from everyone - yet never seem to pay it back 

6. Irresponsibility- I hate grown men that act like children- I already have three and don't need a fourth that still needs his ass kicked so he can finally grow up

7. Whininess/bitchiness- it's not likeable in a woman- guess what guys? It's not any better when you do it 

8. Bad attitude/lifelong "victim"- Get over it and move on with your life- a troubled/hard past doesn't mean the world owes you jack 

9. Too religious- I believe in God but don't adhere to any religion- I don't push my beliefs onto others and they can do the same

10. Substance abuser- need I say more?

11. A man that doesn't understand that my children come first 


**** BIGGEST REASON TO NOT DATE A "MAN": he doesn't support or visit his children that he has with other women- eff that and him
Walk the line...


Oh and I agree with AFG- who wants a bump on the log?


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## stan_der_man (Apr 10, 2007)

Blackjack said:


> Come on, you act like it's bad not knowing just who's coming to dinner when invite your girlfriend over.



See, that's the whole problem Blackjack, I was uncomfortable dating more than one woman at a time... (back when I was single...)

fa_man_stan


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## Allie Cat (Apr 10, 2007)

Hmm. There's not much that really makes someone undateable, but here's the deal breakers:

Lack of hygiene. Sorry, but humans have this annoying habit of becoming stinky and slimy if they don't bathe themselves on a regular basis. This includes brushing teeth. -.-

Lack of personality.

Hating me 

Being a conservative or religious fundamentalist.

Not being able to deal with my eccentricities.

Being controlling and/or manipulative.

Being a smoker or a druggie... I can't stand cigarettes, and drugs just kind of bother me. Like saying real life isn't good enough or something.

Being fugly... though if I met someone with a great personality who was nice and didn't hate me or anything I would probably find myself not really caring what they looked like.

I think that's it.

=Divals


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 10, 2007)

elle camino said:


> honestly, first and foremost: shitty taste in music. it's just never going to work. there is NO way i can respect a guy who listens to fucking nickelback. i won't even sit in the same room with a korn cd. it's just...all it takes is the most tenuous thread of intelligence and creative thought to realize that some music is just horrible, and if that's missing then it's going to cause problems in pretty much every other aspect of the relationship.
> 
> there are more but i feel obligated to explain them all for some reason, so i only have energy for the one right now.




Oh yeah, let me add "men that think there is something wrong with you if you don't like country music" but otherwise I'm pretty open about the music (I do hate country music though and would not spend long periods of time listening to it)


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Apr 10, 2007)

Here is my list of dealbreakers:

1. Smoking
2. Controlling personalities
3. Drama queens
4. Selfishness
5. Excessive drunkenness/drug addictions
6. Religious fundamentalism (I'm religious but I don't believe there is only one true religion or one true religious interpretation.)
7. Ultra-conservatism
8. Arrogance
9. Bigotry, esp racial and religious
10. Ignorance
11. Physical unattractiveness
12. Materialism


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## Ash (Apr 10, 2007)

Dealbreakers:

- Taking oneself too seriously
- Rudeness to people who are only trying to do their jobs (waitresses, etc.)
- Radically different political beliefs
- Not a fat-lover.
- Closeted fat-lover. 
- Excessive drinking.
- Narrow minds


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## Waxwing (Apr 10, 2007)

prominent placement on the Sex Offender Registry


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## Jack Skellington (Apr 10, 2007)

activistfatgirl said:


> *4.* Apathy and lack of ambition



Eh, whatever.


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## KnottyOne (Apr 10, 2007)

Being psycotic or controlling
Have low self confidence or self esteem.

I will deal with everything else, maybe even the psycotic one a lil. But if a they lack confidence or is always complainging about how bad their life is and how they have it so rough, I wont even give them the time of day.


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## love dubh (Apr 10, 2007)

-Not a controlling douche. Like GEF, I don't need nor do I want, a Daddy.
-No groping. Respect my body, and learn the rules of the game.
-No shitty music. I have a definition of shitty music, and if you listen to it, you're out.
-No hardcore drugs.
-Not an alcoholic.
-Don't call me stupid (yes, I've dated a guy that did that).
-No conversatives.
-No capitalists.
-No religious fundementalists.
-Must be "pro-life," as in, pro-lives that already exist, not pro-the lives of potential taxpayers.
-Feminist.


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## Jack Skellington (Apr 10, 2007)

Drugs
Smoking
Alcoholic
Doesn't drive me places. 
Doesn't buy me stuff.
Expects me to work outside the home. That is so not gonna happen.
Physically and emotionally abusive.
Doesn't compliment me. If I worked my arse off all day cleaning and cooking, I want to hear more than supper is just okay.


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## ripley (Apr 10, 2007)

Jack Skellington said:


> Doesn't drive me places.
> Doesn't buy me stuff.
> Expects me to work outside the home. That is so not gonna happen.
> 
> Doesn't compliment me. If I worked my arse off all day cleaning and cooking, I want to hear more than supper is just okay.



Mom?......


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## Violet_Beauregard (Apr 10, 2007)

First off...this thread is hilarious!! I LOVE what everyone has written!!!! 

My deal breakers:

1. drug use, alcohol abuse, inconsiderate smoker
2. lack of responsiblity
3. inability to manage their funds
4. lack of gainful employment
5. lack of basic intelligence
6. lack of respect for me as a person
7. lack of compassion and sensitivity
8. respectful - treats a lady, like a lady/acts like a gentleman
9. unwilling to mesh with me sexually
10. needs to remember the little things... romantic things
11. go the extra step to show me you care
12. uneducated

I'm sure there are more, but those are the stand outs.....


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## Waxwing (Apr 10, 2007)

Lots of the responses, I've noticed, contain the 'no hard drugs' rule. I can see not wanting to be with someone who abuses drugs or alcohol, but is someone taking drugs very infrequently a deal breaker? 

I'm just curious, because it's not something that ever really makes my list. I don't care if they do or not, as long as they're not junkies. I can't think of any drug I haven't tried, but I've not done any in a while. I don't mind if someone else does, though.


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## Allie Cat (Apr 10, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> Lots of the responses, I've noticed, contain the 'no hard drugs' rule. I can see not wanting to be with someone who abuses drugs or alcohol, but is someone taking drugs very infrequently a deal breaker?
> 
> I'm just curious, because it's not something that ever really makes my list. I don't care if they do or not, as long as they're not junkies. I can't think of any drug I haven't tried, but I've not done any in a while. I don't mind if someone else does, though.



I wouldn't think that infrequentness or past use would be a deal breaker. It depends how frequent, ya know?

=Divals


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## Jack Skellington (Apr 10, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> but is someone taking drugs very infrequently a deal breaker?



Yes, yes it is.


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## Wagimawr (Apr 10, 2007)

Canonista said:


> What is it you just can't overlook no matter how hard you try?


1) Smoking: tobacco only - if someone wants to smoke other things, they can go right ahead, no objections from me - just keep it in moderation.
2) Use of other drugs: I don't have time to deal with junkies and/or addicts, no matter how attractive they may be.
3) Drinking too much: a few drinks is cool (even getting sloshed *once* in a while), but if you can't drink without getting drunk, forget it.
4) Facial/body piercings: I feel so alone saying this (mainly cause it seems like every time I turn around, another pretty girl's gone and shoved a stud or ring through something), but metal placed in the eyebrow/lip/nose/chin/tongue or elsewhere in the face just are the antithesis of attractive to me - any other man-made holes in the body (tummy or nipple piercings) also just seem so utterly pointless to me; strangely enough, I have absolutely no problem with tattoos.
5) Not being free to date: an open relationship is good for physical stuff, but beyond that, not so much - in the case of somebody who has a bf/husband, forget it.
6) Hardcore outdoorsy types: I don't like camping (or hardcore hiking/biking/climbing, never have, and if somebody's totally into that, it just won't work for either party.

I'm sure there's other things, but these are the ones that I've got to make sure aren't present, before I get too interested.


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## Waxwing (Apr 11, 2007)

It's interesting to learn people's views on drugs. I agree that a junkie is not on the list of datables, but occasional use of anything is okay with me. 

And, Jack, I respect the 'no drugs at all' thing. I hope I didn't sound insulting about it. I'm just interested as to why it's an issue for people. 

Oh , Wagimawr, I second the no spouse or significant other thing. I could NEVER date someone who was already in a relationship or was married, even if they had an "open" situation. I just wouldn't feel right.


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## Jack Skellington (Apr 11, 2007)

Wagimawr said:


> 4) Facial/body piercings:



I gotta add that to my list too. 

I hate, hate, *HATE* body piercing. Not big on tattoos either. One or two small tasteful tats are tolerable. Anything past that and it stops being remotely sexy and crosses over into the sideshow/carney look in my opinion.


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## AnnMarie (Apr 11, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> It's interesting to learn people's views on drugs. I agree that a junkie is not on the list of datables, but occasional use of anything is okay with me.
> 
> And, Jack, I respect the 'no drugs at all' thing. I hope I didn't sound insulting about it. I'm just interested as to why it's an issue for people.
> 
> Oh , Wagimawr, I second the no spouse or significant other thing. I could NEVER date someone who was already in a relationship or was married, even if they had an "open" situation. I just wouldn't feel right.



I think for me it's just a difference of approach to life. I don't freak out about pot as long as it's not around me, or needed to "be with" me... that drives me mental. I hate the smell too... ick. 

But someone who is always needing some sort of escape (even if they're not a junkie) is approaching life in a whole different way than I do, and we're not likely to find much common ground. I'm not an escapist other than "movies/tv" or something, but I don't do anything to my body or mind to alter my reality. The idea of someone doing it makes me uneasy, and if that's part of their life... we're going to have issues. 

On a purely "present" standpoint, I don't want drugs anywhere near me. Not in my house, car, around me, etc. They're illegal, I don't do them... I'm not risking anything about my own freedom or the way others perceive me, etc for someone else's drugs. Nope! Same reason I won't buy cigs for people. Buy your own... I don't even want to be the person who buys them.

Also, there are certain drugs which I really find repulsive. Coke, anything you shoot, smoking crack, meth, etc.... even something considered "recreational" by some would be a huge NO for me.

I hope that helps some.


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## Takera (Apr 11, 2007)

> I wouldn't think that infrequentness or past use would be a deal breaker. It depends how frequent, ya know?




It's hard to say... past use really isn't a big deal... but even pot can have a detrimental affect on a relationship, if that's more important to a person than the relationship. But over all it really seems like something that would be on a case by case basis. Frankly a lot of things on these list are case by case. For example, I have roommate that swore up and down she'd never date someone who was "taken" but in a moment of desperate weakness started a relationship with a married man. I think a lot of things can be worked around or with... because love (and lust for that matter) are blind, and often these things aren't noticed until after the initial fall. But that's just my opinion. 

There are dealbreakers, that turn people off from one another, but is just one dealbreaker enough to ruin a potential relationship? Or do many dealbreakers have to be present? Or is it just a question of degree?

Just curious


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## Waxwing (Apr 11, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> I think for me it's just a difference of approach to life. I don't freak out about pot as long as it's not around me, or needed to "be with" me... that drives me mental. I hate the smell too... ick.
> 
> But someone who is always needing some sort of escape (even if they're not a junkie) is approaching life in a whole different way than I do, and we're not likely to find much common ground. I'm not an escapist other than "movies/tv" or something, but I don't do anything to my body or mind to alter my reality. The idea of someone doing it makes me uneasy, and if that's part of their life... we're going to have issues.
> 
> ...


 
That absolutely sounds reasonable! The *needing* of anything would be problematic, and I definitely understand that certain drugs are just off limits. It's a very visceral reaction people have. And I'm the same way-- I'm wholly okay with any drugs except crack. That's the one I could never accept someone I was with even trying. For some reason that's the one that crosses the line. Even we, the debauched, have standards.


----------



## UberAris (Apr 11, 2007)

off the top of my head: low self esteem


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## Allie Cat (Apr 11, 2007)

Takera said:


> It's hard to say... past use really isn't a big deal... but even pot can have a detrimental affect on a relationship, if that's more important to a person than the relationship. But over all it really seems like something that would be on a case by case basis. Frankly a lot of things on these list are case by case. For example, I have roommate that swore up and down she'd never date someone who was "taken" but in a moment of desperate weakness started a relationship with a married man. I think a lot of things can be worked around or with... because love (and lust for that matter) are blind, and often these things aren't noticed until after the initial fall. But that's just my opinion.
> 
> There are dealbreakers, that turn people off from one another, but is just one dealbreaker enough to ruin a potential relationship? Or do many dealbreakers have to be present? Or is it just a question of degree?
> 
> Just curious



I think it's a question of degree, usually, but some are either yes or no (such as the smoking thing). ...mrow.

=Divals


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## eightyseven (Apr 11, 2007)

1) Excessive drama 
2) Overly demanding
3) Lack of ambition
4) Poor communicator
5) Outward aggression
6) Poor teeth/general hygeine
7) Terribly innapropriate/wack hairstyle


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## Friday (Apr 11, 2007)

People who disrespect other people and base snap judgements on limited information. For example, 'I saw this person at the welfare office, therefore they must be a slacker/loser/ho.' or whatever.

People who don't need experience to know what something/anything is about. Not in a 'you have to smoke crack to know it's a bad thing' experience way, but in a 'I haven't done any research or had any experiences of my own but I've heard from at least one other human being and it's what I want to believe so I do.' way.

People who lack empathy or the ability to put themselves in others shoes.

People who can't see how lucky they are to be warm, well fed and reasonably secure.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Apr 11, 2007)

Ben, you left off "Doesn't like man sandals." You and waxwing, alas, will never be an item, apparently. 

(If you missed the post I'm referring to, anyone, it's here: http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=406239&postcount=15 )


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## Waxwing (Apr 11, 2007)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Ben, you left off "Doesn't like man sandals." You and waxwing, alas, will never be an item, apparently.
> 
> (If you missed the post I'm referring to, anyone, it's here: http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=406239&postcount=15 )



It is true. I hate them. 

Friday, thanks for bringing up the issue of blind belief in what you're told without personal research. I always toss that in the "general stupidity" category, but it bears mentioning on its own.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Apr 11, 2007)

I'm a pretty flexible person, so I don't have many deal breakers, but here are the ones that come to mind:

1. An addict (drugs, alcohol, gambling, whatever)
2. Unemployed, not in school, no good excuse, and not trying to change the situation.
3. Absolutely 100% averse to having children in the next 10 years.
4. Wants to change my body in any direction (gain/loss) and would be unhappy were no changes to occur.
5. Doesn't stimulate me (intellectually, with a sense of humor, physically, etc)
6. Not willing to consider a temporary LDR, and not near my location (You people know who you are.  You're really giving up all THIS just because you're scared of an LDR? Seriously? Um, okay.  Oh wait - wrong thread for that). If there's any chance at all that I might talk you into it in the future, then it's not a deal breaker. If there's no hope, then - yeah, I guess it is.


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## Canonista (Apr 11, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> It is true. I hate them.



I love my Birkenstocks! Laced up shoes with socks are like a prison. I just can't stand having my feet covered up. Of course, I do understand how that kills the first impression.


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## Carrie (Apr 11, 2007)

Santaclear said:


> - Making bird sounds and spitting while I'm trying to talk on the phone.



This actually made me lol (literally). At 4:31am. That's sayin' something.


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## cute_obese_girl (Apr 11, 2007)

Dealbreakers: 

1. Manipulative/controlling 
2. Substance abuser 
3. Too religious or preachy 
4. Political ultra conservative 
5. Paranoia (feelings of co-workers, family, the world is out to get you) or major mental illness. 
6. Closed minded/bigotry 
7. Dislike of animals especially if they can't handle a housecat. 
8. Clinginess or talking about moving in together after only a couple of dates (Usually men aren't thought of as dying to jump into a committed relationship, and yet they find me). 
9. Insistence on watching professional wrestling on a regular basis especially if I am in the house. 
10. The inability to watch a movie with less than 30mins of explosions/shootouts or the desire to watch a movie starring a wrestler (I don't buy the act on the mat so please, for the love of all things cinematic, do not bring it to the big screen). I don't mind action movies sometimes, but someone please tell my why they still allow Bruce Willis to star in them? Even Ahnold gave it up to be a governor.


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## Luvs2laff (Apr 11, 2007)

GeorgeNL said:


> Negativity. Someone who's only able to see the down side of everything. A positive spirit makes life so much sunnier.



You hit the nail on the head, George! Everyone here has some pretty good lists, but n has egativity has got to be about the worst trait.

Here's my list:


Negativity (obviously).
Poor self image - especially if she goes on about how ugly/unloveable she is.
Takes herself (or her opinions) too seriously and unable to laugh at herself.
Unintelligent - and I don't mean un/under-educated - I met some real idiots at university, and similarly I have met really smart people who only finished high school - that said, I need someone with whom I can talk and who will stimulate my mind.
Unwilling to take me as I am - am I perfect? Hard though it may be to believe, I am not. You don't have to love every characteristic and foible of mine, but I don't want someone who will love me only if I change.
Someone who is a pushover - obviously I am human and like getting my way, but I want someone who has a backbone and who will push back and help me see the error of my ways.
Someone who is over-dramatic - not everything has to be a crisis.
No chemistry - I know this is really vague, but there has to be at least a modicum of physical attraction (on both sides) for the relationship to work.


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## Jane (Apr 11, 2007)

Deal breakers:

1) Police involvement at any time. 
2) Anything which could bring about police involvement

There are more (believe it or not) but these are REALLY high on my list.


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## activistfatgirl (Apr 11, 2007)

Smoking really is the worst thing someone can do to their dating life. Almost all of the responses included it! Very interesting.

I do understand. I quit smoking this fall for about 3 months and I was HORRIFIED when I kissed my first smoker as a non-smoker. It definitely gave me a sense of how truly repulsive it is to other people. I find it affecting my dating life in very tangible way, now. If I can't brush my teeth I don't feel like kissin', and it comes up a lot.

Though I have perfected the brushing my teeth while driving move...

Being a reluctant smoker, I never know what to go for. Other smokers scare me cause I don't want to get locked in with this forever. People who HATE smokers scare me because it creates constant guilt and uncomfortable feelings. I tend to go for folks who don't like it, but are more lenient about it, cause I'm not one to quit for someone else. It's all about me lovin' myself.


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## KnottyOne (Apr 11, 2007)

Here's one I just thought of. If they come from a broken home. That is a total deal breaker. Divorce is ok, but if they are living with any family members who are constantly screaiming or at each others throat, I just dont want to handle that anymore. I've been with a few girls like that and they can't seem to get their aggression out towards their parents so it comes out at me. God, all the shit I've had to go through over that. And yea, I really don't need you to bring your issues from home to the table, I'm willing to help, but not when you are CONSTANTLY bringing me down.


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## _broshe_ (Apr 11, 2007)

lets see, deal breakers for my self

1) excessive smoking
2) unsupportive of relationship
3) excessive drinking, once in a while is ok (like new years), but i better not need to drive you home every damn night (like i did for a prior friend...).
4)Sorry, but needs to be roman catholic, i can't deal with religous diffrences, and i do plan to raise my kids as Roman Catholics. 
5)no rap music
6) should like/want kids in next 5-10 years, not before 5

the following are not nessesarily deal breakers, but would cause major issues

1) I'm the chef in the kitchen (funny story on that one)
2) dislike of country music
3) Whining, I can tollerate a bit, i grew up with 4 sisters, I know what is comming, but push me over, and i'll send you packing


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## Jes (Apr 11, 2007)

activistfatgirl said:


> ha ha, i love that movie. but those guys are pretty undateable, unless they're willing to go salsa dancing with me tomorrow and bobsledding saturday.
> 
> eta: have i ever told the story about the boy here in MI that only EVER wants to "rent a movie". I'm confident that even without hope for what ELSE "renting a movie" usually means, that he's serious about it. It's what he DOES. And I can't stand it. I see him call or IM and I'm like "hmmm, I don't feel like a movie" and its done.



oh, i totally know that guy. he lives here in PA.

and in every other state in america.

i also know the guy who dislikes capitalism and is turned off by people who have to throw money around all the time.

which is great. 'til he tells you that he's not willing to have a first meeting over a cup of coffee b/c 'why spend $2, when you can make it yourself for 10 cents???'

TWO DOLLARS. For a social outing. And a chance to meet ME, who is FABULOUS.

sorry, loser. Also? He says into the phone: "I bet you're one of those women who would object to coming to my apt. for a first meeting, right?" (and he says it in a real whiny voice). 

To which I said: Uh, yeah. Isn't that EVERY WOMAN, though?? Apparently, it's not, and a good number of personal-ad women have indeed come to his apt. for a first meeting. (and no, he wasn't afraid to leave, he had a job. He just thought it was materialistic to make the effort to go and get coffee or a drink). 
good times!


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## Wagimawr (Apr 11, 2007)

activistfatgirl said:


> Being a reluctant smoker, I never know what to go for. Other smokers scare me cause I don't want to get locked in with this forever. People who HATE smokers scare me because it creates constant guilt and uncomfortable feelings. I tend to go for folks who don't like it, but are more lenient about it, cause I'm not one to quit for someone else. It's all about me lovin' myself.


With the whole "lovin' myself" mindset, it's hard (for me, at least) to understand why somebody would choose to smoke in the first place - it should be pretty obvious by now that it's a pretty dangerous and dumb idea, yet people who're otherwise very smart fall into the trap of being smokers, for reasons I can't comprehend.


KnottyOne said:


> And yea, I really don't need you to bring your issues from home to the table, I'm willing to help, but not when you are CONSTANTLY bringing me down.



Agreed - if somebody's in a mess, that's one thing, but if somebody's *constantly* in a mess, then that's problematic, for them (obviously) but for anybody who gets involved, even peripherally.


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## Jes (Apr 11, 2007)

eightyseven said:


> 7) Terribly innapropriate/wack hairstyle



ok, so no dating donald trump for you, then.

but seriously--example? Image google please.


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## eightyseven (Apr 11, 2007)

Jes said:


> ok, so no dating donald trump for you, then.
> 
> but seriously--example? Image google please.



How's this... 

View attachment BadHairDay.jpg


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## Jes (Apr 11, 2007)

eightyseven said:


> How's this...



i honestly can't believe you'd post that picture of Liz Di-va here, son!!


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## eightyseven (Apr 11, 2007)

Jes said:


> i honestly can't believe you'd post that picture of Liz Di-va here, son!!



I know for a fact that this photo is from an Australian charity function wher hundreds of people did their worst hairstyle and somehow raised money for... something. I swear I looked it up. I would have never put a photo of someone who wasn't trying to look silly, or that would have been cruel.

But nice try on guilting me... hehe


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## Jes (Apr 11, 2007)

eightyseven said:


> I know for a fact that this photo is from an Australian charity function wher hundreds of people did their worst hairstyle and somehow raised money for... something. I swear I looked it up. I would have never put a photo of someone who wasn't trying to look silly, or that would have been cruel.
> 
> But nice try on guilting me... hehe



haha. Yeah, but you have to admit, she does look a bit like our liz! oh wait--has she posted the goofy fun icam pix outside the clubhouse? i don't recall. but she has a few with big-ish hair and that grin ...


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 11, 2007)

Jane said:


> Deal breakers:
> 
> 1) Police involvement at any time.
> 2) Anything which could bring about police involvement
> ...



I'm not sure what you mean by police involvement? :doh:


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## Jane (Apr 11, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I'm not sure what you mean by police involvement? :doh:



Anything involving people who can arrest you.

I've done my years looking over my shoulder.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 11, 2007)

Jane said:


> Anything involving people who can arrest you.
> 
> I've done my years looking over my shoulder.




ahhh yes, but this brings to mind for me a man I dated years ago (before I married my second husband). It seemed that every time I went to his house, the police were there looking for him, or he was telling about having to go to court or pay court fines for bad checks he had passed around. I told him I was interested in someone else........ (there was no one else- I just didn't want to be involved with a man that didn't seem to understand that police looking for you all the time is a BAD THING :huh:  :doh: )


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## Butterbelly (Apr 11, 2007)

My deal-breakers:

1. Lack of respect for themselves and others.
2. Lack of intelligence and common sense.
3. A "serial" dater.
4. Unemotional, can't express their emotions.
5. Unemployed and can't keep a job.
6. Has emotional baggage from a previous relationship.
7. Has more than one ex-wife.
8. Egocentric.
9. Too attached to his mother.
10. Cannot stand up for themselves.
11. No addictions (smoking, drinking, drugs, gambling)
12. Absolutely NO criminal record.


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## babyjeep21 (Apr 11, 2007)

What makes someone undateable to me?

I really could agree with almost everything the women have written...

But for me 2 MAJOR deal breakers....

Lack of Follow Through: If you say you're going to do it.... DO IT. Call when you say you're going to and show up when you're supposed to. (Cause I'm not putting up with that shit anymore.)

AND

If They Have to Choose Between Me and Another Girl: If you have to think about whether or not you want to be with me... Go pick someone else. Cause I don't want you. I'm giving, loving, caring, and will go out of my way to please you and make you happy. If you're taking time to second guess whether or not you want that, then you don't freakin deserve it.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 11, 2007)

babyjeep21 said:


> What makes someone undateable to me?
> 
> I really could agree with almost everything the women have written...
> 
> ...




*yells a loud, resounding ~AMEN~ from the back pew*


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## supersoup (Apr 11, 2007)

**lacking a sense of humor, as i loooove to laugh and be silly at times.

**lacks intelligence and common sense. 

**doesn't like/appreciate/care for spontaneity.

**i don't mind if there's drinking/smoking, but i wouldn't want an alcoholic or a drug addict.

**kids are in no way a deal breaker, but kids you don't take care of are. be a man.

**doesn't express his love of fatties openly.

**would be upset if my weight changed. if you'll *DIE!!!!!!* because i lose 60 pounds, or gain them, move on. love me for me and place no expectations on my body.

**drama king. i'm laid back and i can not stand drama. 

**close minded. if you are going to talk about how you hate gay people, black people, religious people, or the letter people, walk on by me. everyone is free to love whom they want, be whom they want, and believe in what they want, and i don't want to hear how you think it's wrong. prejudice has no place in this heart, i don't want it to have a place in yours.

**doesn't like kids, isn't open to the possibility of having them. i have three godbabies that i adore like no one else, and if you can't share that with me, i'm not interested. i don't know if i'll ever have kids, but i don't think i'd want to be with someone that's adamantly against it. 

i may think of more, but this is off the top of my head.


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## supersoup (Apr 11, 2007)

oh, and add jeep's to mine.

brilliant.


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## Surlysomething (Apr 11, 2007)

*-liars*
-users
-druggies
-marrieds
-multiple breeders
-bad hygiene
-bad teeth
-no job


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## Waxwing (Apr 11, 2007)

I found it really interesting that everyone listed smoking. I honestly know fewer than five people who *don't* smoke. Not everyone smokes regularly, but everyone I know smokes sometimes. 

I do it far less often than I used to, but I certainly don't care if someone else does it. I'm also a very polite smoker, as is everyone I know, and we would never do it indoors, or upwind of a non-smoker, etc, because to force it on other people is just shitty. But the hatred for it I don't get. If it's not in your house, or in your face, calm down. That's why god made mints. 

In case anyone is compiling demographic statistics, my friend group has an average age of 34, an average education level of Masters Degree...but we're ALL IN BANDS. I just realized that's the key. Ha.  



activistfatgirl said:


> Smoking really is the worst thing someone can do to their dating life. Almost all of the responses included it! Very interesting.
> 
> I do understand. I quit smoking this fall for about 3 months and I was HORRIFIED when I kissed my first smoker as a non-smoker. It definitely gave me a sense of how truly repulsive it is to other people. I find it affecting my dating life in very tangible way, now. If I can't brush my teeth I don't feel like kissin', and it comes up a lot.
> 
> ...



Edited to add that it's dawning on me that with my attitude on drugs and smoking, nobody on this board is ever going to ask me out.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Apr 11, 2007)

Nah, WW, I'm cool with occasional smokers too. And I'm fine with drugs so long as they're not abused. My boyfriend doesn't like drug use. Answer: I don't bring pot in our house.


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## Waxwing (Apr 11, 2007)

Surlysomething said:


> *-liars*
> -users
> -druggies
> -marrieds
> ...



Inexplicably I read this last item as "nose job", and I thought, "my that's awfully specific and odd."


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## Tina (Apr 11, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> I do it far less often than I used to, but I certainly don't care if someone else does it. I'm also a very polite smoker, as is everyone I know, and we would never do it indoors, or upwind of a non-smoker, etc, because to force it on other people is just shitty. But the hatred for it I don't get. If it's not in your house, or in your face, calm down. That's why god made mints.


Can't speak for anyone else, but my reasons are these:
It gets into everything, and removes the good smell from things. If you enjoy nice smells and find that everything on you now smells from the person who is smoking near you, it's just not attractive.

As an ex-smoker (Marlboro in the red box) for twenty+ years, I have found that the chemicals they put in those things do weird things to a person. First, they make it exceedingly hard to quit once you're hooked. When you're trying to quit, the siren call can often be too hard to ignore for many. I found myself romantacizing cigarettes and the experience of smoking -- where and when I smoked, how it felt so good and tasted good. And it was total bullshit. When I tried one after having quit, it made me feel instantly exhausted, and it tasted like crap. But the mind of an addict romantacizes the substance of their choice -- it's part of the addiction and the area of the brain that wants to continue the addiction. BUT, once a person has quit for long enough, it's like getting all of that crap out of one's system often amplifies the reaction of disgust and leaves the person realizing just how much cigs stink, from the smoke to the ashtrays, to the vestiges left behind on clothing, skin and breath. Just the experience of breathing it in while someone is outside a building smoking and one has to run the 'smoke gauntlet' is disgusting. And this isn't even addressing the fact that most of us ex-smokers know that if we ever get past our disgust, that siren call might just not be ignored one day. Why risk the chance of starting to smoke again by living with someone who does it, whether it's indoors or not?

It's funny, because many smokers think that people who feel this way are being dramatic, or something, but it's very real, no drama attached. It's gross. I don't mean to hurt you with this, but this substance can cause a _very_ visceral reaction in some, and often does. Smoking is a certain deal-breaker for me. When I smell my lover's chest, I want to smell him, not smoke. When I nuzzle his neck and face, again, I want to smell his scent, not the vestiges of cigarette smoke, and all of the chemicals with which they are infused.


> In case anyone is compiling demographic statistics, my friend group has an average age of 34, an average education level of Masters Degree...but we're ALL IN BANDS. I just realized that's the key. Ha.


Well, there ya go, musicians are a different breed. And I know that first hand.


> Edited to add that it's dawning on me that with my attitude on drugs and smoking, nobody on this board is ever going to ask me out.


This is just a small sampling of the board members here. It's true that many fewer people smoke these days, though, so yes, your odds are reduced. As for drugs, if it's weed, we do have some smokers on the board -- both admitted, and I feel very certain those who have not, and will not, admit it publically. Which is fine, as this is not what one could call a pro-weed board.


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## Waxwing (Apr 11, 2007)

Not hurtful at all, Tina! Interesting and totally understandable. I'm well aware that it's kind of gross, and really, I'd love to quit for good. Yes, I like it, but I also like, you know, being alive. You're right it's murder to quit-- and that's even without the chemicals (I smoke additive free, organic cigarettes. Still? HOOKED). I've quit for a year at a time, several times, and still it calls. 

The fact that you're a former smoker makes so much sense to me. People I know who have managed to quit are tempted YEARS after, and it's just not worth it to be around it. 

I'm not really upset about it; I'm just fascinated by the notion that my little world is not necessarily representative of the world as a whole.  Truth is, when I'm hanging out with nonsmokers I never smoke. I just feel it's rude. I won't even go outside to do so, in case the residual reek bugs someone.


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## Tina (Apr 11, 2007)

Heh. "Residual reek."  

I smoked Beedies for a while, oo, which I really liked, but realized that it wasn't helping anything. Didn't realize at the time that they were actually worse for me than cigarettes! Bleh.

If you are able to just not smoke for stretches at a time, then it sounds to me like you have more of a situation addition than a chemical addiction. If you can replace the cigs in the situation with something that you really like, you might have some success. Zyban works, too, IME, Wax.


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## Waxwing (Apr 11, 2007)

Beedies, ironically, give me a headache. No, I definitely enjoy the tobacco part of the equation.

Zyban, eh? Hm! I'll check it out! Thanks!


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## chocolate desire (Apr 11, 2007)

My deal breakers
1. If he can only cook things in a microwave.
2. If his ideal of income is selling beer cans when he is done drinking.
3.If his teeth is darker than my skin. 
4.If the sound of his voice makes me want to put a hollow point through my temple.


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## Fuzzy (Apr 11, 2007)

*Undateable:* (if I were still dating)

*Non-Religious* (doesn't matter who you believe in, as long as you do..)
*Fringe Far-Left Wing Nut Job* (Hey, when I'm conservative..)
*Vegan* (My ancestors didn't climb to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables)
*Mass Piercings* (Ears are fine, gotta have something for the diamond earrings to hold onto)
*Mass Tattoos* (fewer the better)
*Easily Offended* (people make mistakes, they're human)
*Doesn't Forgive Others* (the lonliest people hate their neighbors)
*Doesn't Forgive Self* (You can be your own worst critic)
*Doesn't Like Kids* (Nuff said)
*Doesn't Like Family* 
*Irreverent*


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## kathynoon (Apr 11, 2007)

My list:

- Negative or full of anger. I want someone who I feel good when I am around
- Excessive cursing, racist language, sexist language, ...
- Needing alcohol before they can start having fun
- Doesn't believe in God
- Doesn't treat me or my family and friends with respect
- Wants to string me along while he continues to date other women
- Thinks that each date should consist solely of sex
- Yells a lot
- Need to dominate every decision and every situation
- Does not think I am beautiful


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## QtPatooti (Apr 11, 2007)

Controlling
Sexist, racist and other discriminatory attitudes
"I'm Always Right" attitude
Cannot appreciate that I am close to my family
Inconsiderate smoker
No sense of humor
Uptight
Extreme political attitudes


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## liz (di-va) (Apr 11, 2007)

eightyseven said:


> How's this...





Jes said:


> i honestly can't believe you'd post that picture of Liz Di-va here, son!!



HEY!!!!!!    :huh:   Low follicular blow.


----------



## Aliena (Apr 11, 2007)

Chimpi said:


> [*]The attitude that 'jazz music' is the greatest form of expression in the world



You mean it isn't?? :huh: :blink: :happy: 

*People who think that Jazz music isn't the greatest form of expression in the world. :wubu: 
--------------
*People who can't be honest--even unto themselves
*People who carry double standards
*People who are angry, at anything and everything
*People who are detatched
*People who don't have ambition and/or work
*People that don't think about their future finances


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## Jack Skellington (Apr 11, 2007)

kathynoon said:


> - Doesn't believe in God



Hey! I believe in her.


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## Jack Skellington (Apr 11, 2007)

QtPatooti said:


> Uptight



Uptight is such an ugly word. We prefer prudish.


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## liz (di-va) (Apr 12, 2007)

I would challenge you to a duel, Jes, but I cannot see


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## ripley (Apr 12, 2007)

Liz is a hottie (and also smart and way funny)...if I was a lesbian I'd be mooning over her constantly.


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## liz (di-va) (Apr 12, 2007)

ripley said:


> Liz is a hottie (and also smart and way funny)...if I was a lesbian I'd be mooning over her constantly.



I would rep you for that lovely compliment, but again, I cannot see to do so, Ripley. Wipley. *clicks around*


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## Ryan (Apr 12, 2007)

My list, in no particular order: 

Alcohol/drug abuse: It can make a person hard to deal with, not to mention all the legal problems that can occur because of this. 

Smokers: I hate the smell. 

Unwilling to tolerate my hobbies/interests: She doesn't have to love things like NASCAR, World Rally Championship and UFC. She just has to be okay with the fact that *I* love things like NASCAR, World Rally Championship and UFC. 

Has children: I don't hate children and I'm not opposed to having children if the woman I marry wants them, but I'm not interested in raising someone else's kid(s). 

Sense of humor "issues": A lot of the things I find funny are pretty tasteless and insensitive, so they can't get all butt-hurt about it. It's sort of like the hobbies/interests thing: she doesn't have laugh at what I laugh at, but she needs to be okay with the fact that *I* find certain things funny. 

Total party-girl or total homebody: I think I'm kinda in the middle when it comes to a social life. Sometimes I like going out and other times I like staying home. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a woman who _always_ needed to be at a club or party, or who _never_ would go out for a night on the town. 

Different political/philosophical views: I don't expect the women I date to agree with me on every single issue, but there needs to be a fair amount of overlap. So socialists, communists, liberals and neocons need not apply. 

Taste in movies/music/TV shows: It makes it easier if we like some of the same things.


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## jamie (Apr 12, 2007)

liz (di-va) said:


> I would rep you for that lovely compliment, but again, I cannot see to do so, Ripley. Wipley. *clicks around*



I am mooning over liz right now...cuz she can roll with the gold hoops...Jlo style.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Apr 12, 2007)

I'm mooning Liz right now. You just can't see. Darn this lack of webcam.

Here's an artist's rendition:

( ( )


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## jamie (Apr 12, 2007)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> I'm mooning Liz right now. You just can't see. Darn this lack of webcam.
> 
> Here's an artist's rendition:
> 
> ( ( )



And 7000 boys' hearts just fell....all that excitement and then the let down..shame on you evil temptress!


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## BigBeautifulMe (Apr 12, 2007)

I tried to put lots of spaces in between, but they got removed when I posted. LOL


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## liz (di-va) (Apr 12, 2007)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> I tried to put lots of spaces in between, but they got removed when I posted. LOL



Plus - lady - yer missin half a cheek! :huh:


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## liz (di-va) (Apr 12, 2007)

jamie said:


> I am mooning over liz right now...cuz she can roll with the gold hoops...Jlo style.



Don't, um, be fooled by the rox that I got. *erm*


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## Canonista (Apr 12, 2007)

Ryan said:


> Sense of humor "issues": A lot of the things I find funny are pretty tasteless and insensitive, so they can't get all butt-hurt about it. It's sort of like the hobbies/interests thing: she doesn't have laugh at what I laugh at, but she needs to be okay with the fact that *I* find certain things funny.



A-freakin'-men!

I forgot about the perpetually offended humor nazi "butt hurt" types. Yeah, they're undateable too. 


Some of the "undateable" aspects of people described here can only be learned AFTER you start dating someone. What eliminates people from consideration BEFORE the first date?


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## Brenda (Apr 12, 2007)

Pickiness.


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## Tina (Apr 12, 2007)

Heh.  . . . .


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## chocolate desire (Apr 12, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Oh yeah, let me add "men that think there is something wrong with you if you don't like country music" but otherwise I'm pretty open about the music (I do hate country music though and would not spend long periods of time listening to it)


What???How can you like me and HATE country music? lol.

One more to ad to my list..If he dont like sports he might not get a date with me.(sports talk works when nothing else does)


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## Jes (Apr 12, 2007)

liz (di-va) said:


> Plus - lady - yer missin half a cheek! :huh:



it's a 3/4 shot, you know?


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## This1Yankee (Apr 12, 2007)

Cross yourself off the list if the following pertains to you:

~bad teeth
~smells bad
~small. (This does not necessarily mean short, as I can deal with guys that are only slightly taller than I, but you better be a big guy if you are going to be 5'9" and trying to take me out. Less than 5'9" is a deal breaker.)
~clingy
~incompatible upbringing. (If you grew up in a cult, look elsewhere)
~whiny voice. Ew.
~completely devoid of all spirituality. (don't have to be Christian)
~OVERLY hyped about religion
~cheesy sense of humor, constantly. (It gets old, quick)
~dumb. (If you can't name 3 synonyms for any one word in the english language...move along)
~receding hairline (this is ignored if your hair is REALLY short, like buzzed)
~broke. (I understand situational things, but if after 3 months you still haven't paid for a date...we gots issues)
~lacking an adventurous spirit
~sexually robotic and monotonous. (if I want a machine, I can go get one)
~incompatible in bed (hey, sometimes it happens)
~greedy
~Republican (okay, this is not a deal breaker, but if you are severe right-wing, we aren't going to get along)
~narrow minded
~hasn't moved on from previous relationships (I just don't want to deal with your unresolved baggage, sorry)

That is all, for now. Subject to change TOTALLY depending on whether or not the guy truly makes me crack up laughing, and if he's insanely good looking. Yep.


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## Jane (Apr 12, 2007)

Having lists....


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## truebebeblue (Apr 12, 2007)

5. flip flops or man sandals of any kind[/QUOTE]

Mandals!hehehehehe


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## Carrie (Apr 12, 2007)

elle camino said:


> honestly, first and foremost: shitty taste in music. it's just never going to work. there is NO way i can respect a guy who listens to fucking nickelback. i won't even sit in the same room with a korn cd. it's just...all it takes is the most tenuous thread of intelligence and creative thought to realize that some music is just horrible, and if that's missing then it's going to cause problems in pretty much every other aspect of the relationship.
> 
> there are more but i feel obligated to explain them all for some reason, so i only have energy for the one right now.



Ironically, musical snobbishness/elitism is one of a very few major turn-OFFs that I have. Musical preferences are very unique and personal and have little to do with intelligence, in my opinion. And this coming from a reformed music snob, who worked in a funky little record store throughout high school and thought that anyone who didn't like The Clash or the Sex Pistols was clearly pathetic, stupid and sad. 

Elle, if you could see my eclectic musical collection and knew nothing about me, you might assume, based on your comments above, that I'm an idiot with not a creative thought in my empty head. Oh my god, a Dolly Parton CD? Yep. My parents used to play her records when I was a little kid, so I have pretty fond memories of that. Her music makes me feel happy, and comforted. Is she corny and tacky? Hell, yes, unapologetically so, but the woman can write a song. I also have a Britney Spears song on my iPod, and other simplistic and silly pop songs mixed in with my Tom Petty, Warren Zevon, Maria McKee, Genesis, Rush, Stevie Wonder, Dixie Chicks, The Clash.... the list goes on. So you're pretty familiar with me from my posting here. Does my having the Britney Spears song on my iPod make you think less of my intelligence, or just that maybe that song happens to appeal to me on some level of which you're unaware? 

Yes, there's music out there that I consider shitty, and maybe deciding that you couldn't be with anyone who likes Nickelback because you would go bonkers and lose your mind if you had to listen to one single Nickelback song is a little iffy, but okay, if it means that much to you, but then to draw the conclusion that anyone who listens to Nickelback is dumb and lacking creativity is particularly harsh and quite closed-minded. People go through weird musical phases throughout their lives, some of which may be unpalatable to others. It's all part of the journey. It doesn't make someone an idiot, though I do think that perhaps there's something to be said for people being in similar phases of the journey in terms of compatibility. Maybe that's more what you're getting at, I don't know. 

I hate Steely Dan. My ex-hubby is a huge Steely Dan fan, and while I have always hated Steely Dan with the passion of a thousand burning suns, I just chalked it up to him getting something out of them that I didn't, and that was about it. We agreed that he wouldn't play Steely Dan when I was around, and I wouldn't play Journey around him, because he hated it (yes, Journey. I'm a child of the 80's, and I heart Journey, so there). We're no longer together, but I'm glad I didn't hold his musical taste against him when we met, or I would have missed out on meeting one of the most important people in my life. 

I like you, elle, and god knows we share a common love of cupcakes smitten, so I hope you'll take this reply in the spirit in which it was intended - as an older, more experienced woman sticking her nosy nose in and lecturing and giving unsolicited advice to someone who probably just wants her to stfu and mind her own stupid business. (Umm. That sounds really funny in my head, but my sense of humor is a bit off lately, so just to clarify, that's said jokingly. ).


ETA sumpin' I thought of after hitting submit.


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## chunkeymonkey (Apr 12, 2007)

1) people who cant admit they are wrong............
2) someone who never apologizes
3) people who spews venomous negativity
4) when someone has high expectations of someone..... thats when I call it a night and walk away.
LOL now that I think of it I have high expectations Damn it......whats a girl to do.


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## GWARrior (Apr 12, 2007)

i like to think i can deal with a lot but there are definitly somethings that piss me off...

-the whole "but i had a bad childhood!". suck it up and do something with your life. i know your parents didnt beat you so stop acting like they ruined your life.

-agreeing with EVERYTHING I SAY. have your own damn opinions and bring them up!

-if youre friends are immature little pricks, i wont want to be around them. or you.

-elitist pricks! especially when it comes to music. my ex is a huge metal head and he hates all music that isnt metal. so i got a lot of "Your music sucks!" during our relationship.

-if you are seriously against pot and alcohol then we cant be together. i dont care if its not your thing and you choose not to do it, but its my thing and im gonna do what i want.


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## Daknee (Apr 12, 2007)

1 Low Self Esteem or knowledge of self worth
2 Co-dependency
3 narrow mindedness
4 Not adventureous enough. Likes the same ol same ol


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Apr 12, 2007)

As a married woman I can only say what would be a deal breaker if I was single:

If he was married.

It's the only thing I can think of. Lists will leave out some pretty interesting people who you will never meet because of them.

For instance I once dated this guy who:


Had no car.
Had 2 kids and an ex from hell.
Was renting a room (at 40 years of age) it was all he could afford.
Was with his kids every weekend
Had no money (it all went to his kids)
His ex harassed us constantly.
Needed dental work (he gave to his kids first)
Worked 3 jobs
I could only see him a couple of hours a week.
We met in a bar.
He was a horrible dresser.

So you know what I did? I married him.:wubu: It was the best thing I ever did.


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## Carrie (Apr 12, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> It's the only thing I can think of. Lists will leave out some pretty interesting people who you will never meet because of them.
> 
> For instance I once dated this guy who:
> 
> ...



Wow. This is pretty much the best post I've read in quite a while.


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## pattycake (Apr 12, 2007)

Things that would prevent someone getting a *FIRST* date with me...

*Smoker.
*Inability to drink in moderation (if I witness you being an obnoxious drunk I will be unwilling to get involved with you.)
*Shorter than me (there are plenty of short women you can date.)
*Have previously dated one of my friends or sisters.
*Quite clearly already in a relationship.
*Poor hygiene/bad breath/filthy fingernails.
*Known criminal.


Things that would prevent someone getting a *SECOND* date with me..

*Crap sense of humour.
*Bad taste in music/movies/TV shows.
*Too much unresolved baggage that you won't deal with but won't keep to yourself.
*Ignorant and bigoted attitudes.
*Cheap. (If you don't want to pay for a date, take me to do something free, don't take me to something expensive and then expect me to pay for it all. I don't mind going halves but I don't want to be stuck with a huge bill unexpectedly. I also don't mind you being poor, but you have to live within your means.)
*Rude (won't get off your cell phone/won't stop checking out other women right in front of me/talks over me.)
*Bad kisser.
*Isn't even nice to me.
*Boring and miserable.

There are many more but this'll do for now!


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## Daknee (Apr 12, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> As a married woman I can only say what would be a deal breaker if I was single:
> 
> If he was married.
> 
> ...



Great surprise ending (or begining) this is a great example of not judging a book by it's cover. From the inital sound of your list he sounded like a loser but in reality a winner. On the other hand there are those that have loser characteristics and are Then again there are those that have a winning resume but are real losers.


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## mrman1980uk (Apr 12, 2007)

Smokers
Religious nuts
The inarticulate
The irrational
The dishonest
Those lacking a sense of duty
People with incompatible long-term life goals


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## mrman1980uk (Apr 12, 2007)

love dubh said:


> ...No conversatives....



Do you just mean the lunatic ultra right-wing American conservatives, or do you include the more moderate British variety, or all people who work on the basis that, if things aren't broken, they shouldn't be fixed, and need a good deal of convincing that something is broken in the first place?


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## Paw Paw (Apr 12, 2007)

1. Jacked up teeth
2. Your babies daddy still spends hours at your place" seeing his child"
3. More concerned about my income than me
4. No job and not looking
5. No love for animals
6. Spend more time with mom than anyone else
7. Not clean in house or person
8.LOUD
9.Talking bad about someone who is not"Hood" or has good things going on
10. 5'10" tall and weighs less than me

There is more. I just know it when I see it.

Sorry Elle. ( look at sig.)

Peace,
2P.


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## ClashCityRocker (Apr 12, 2007)

hm...good topic
-close-minded
-self-centered
-baggage from past relationships(learned that one the hard way)
-lack of drive
-rebels without a cause(STAND FOR SOMETHING PLEASE)
-immaturity(common sense is a MUST)
-whiners
-no understanding of art, music, etc(at least be open to learn)
-speaking without thinking


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## mrman1980uk (Apr 12, 2007)

This1Yankee said:


> ~dumb. (If you can't name 3 synonyms for any one word in the english language...move along)



Now, I take this as a challenge to find words that have no synonyms. Can you find three synonyms (not phrases or abbreviations) for: deoxyribonucleic acid; phenoxymethyl penacillin; dimethylglyoxime; adjective; synonym; atonym; word; English; language; the?


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## ClashCityRocker (Apr 12, 2007)

mrman1980uk said:


> Now, I take this as a challenge to find words that have no synonyms. Can you find three synonyms (not phrases or abbreviations) for: deoxyribonucleic acid; phenoxymethyl penacillin; dimethylglyoxime; adjective; synonym; atonym; word; English; language; the?



lol.

i tried to come up with witty-ass synonyms for all of those, but they were all freakin sentences.


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## Santaclear (Apr 12, 2007)

Great posts, Carrie (musical taste) and Sandie Z.


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Apr 12, 2007)

I really enjoyed reading this one. Sandy's response shows maturity as well as a willingness to accept different types of people.

If I had a nickel for all the personal ads I've read by women who say they will not date a man unless he is 6 feet tall or more and is wealthy, I would be a rich man. 






Sandie_Zitkus said:


> As a married woman I can only say what would be a deal breaker if I was single:
> 
> If he was married.
> 
> ...


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## BigBeautifulMe (Apr 12, 2007)

Okay, first of all, she said ANY word in the English language, not every word. I'll play along, but I'm rebuting your statement that these are words with NO synonmys. Some of them just don't have three. I'll do what I can though.

deoxyribonucleic acid: DNA. Of course.  Yes, it's really an acronym rather than a synonym, but with something this specific, that's as close as you're going to get.  
phenoxymethyl penacillin: Pretty sure this is spelled "penicillin," but I can't help you with a synonym. 
dimethylglyoxime: eh? 
adjective: Finally, words I know. adjective: descriptor. descriptive word.
synonym: in some contexts, one could use the word "similar" alone.
atonym: assuming you mean antonym? Again, in some contexts, one could use the word "opposite" alone.
word: utterance.
English: British.
language: idiom, dialect, tongue.
the: If you'll allow me a phrase instead of a single word, "this particular" would be a good example.

</dorky senior English major>


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## ripley (Apr 12, 2007)

You know what? Almost none of y'all would date me. And I'm frickin' *amazing*.


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## supersoup (Apr 12, 2007)

ripley said:


> You know what? Almost none of y'all would date me. And I'm frickin' *amazing*.



WRONG.

i'd totally date you. as much as a straight woman could. scrabble, awesome take out, and some hetero spooning with the dogs? i'm in.


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## ripley (Apr 12, 2007)

supersoup said:


> WRONG.
> 
> i'd totally date you. as much as a straight woman could. scrabble, awesome take out, and some hetero spooning with the dogs? i'm in.



Hetero spooning with scrabble, take out, and the dogs? I'm so there.


I <3 soupy.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 12, 2007)

ripley said:


> You know what? Almost none of y'all would date me. And I'm frickin' *amazing*.



They probably just wouldn't date me because I'm a proud, mean bitch  but I'm amazing at it


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 12, 2007)

CurvaceousBBWLover said:


> I really enjoyed reading this one. Sandy's response shows maturity as well as a willingness to accept different types of people.
> 
> If I had a nickel for all the personal ads I've read by women who say they will not date a man unless he is 6 feet tall or more and is wealthy, I would be a rich man.



and only if I had a nickel for every personal ad where a man says he wants a woman with certain measurement and weight requirements....... If I was 38/24/36 fuck yeah he better be rich and all that considering I see a lot of men not minding to ask for what they want straight out.


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## TearInYourHand (Apr 12, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> 1. stupidity
> 2. social/political ignorance
> 3. shitty taste in music
> 4. an inability to understand why Mr. Show is hilarious
> 5. flip flops or man sandals of any kind



I can't rep you again, but Mr. Show is fuckin hilarious! Right on. 

But, flip flops???? Nothing wrong with that


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## SparklingBBW (Apr 12, 2007)

Must never describe my "girls" as numberless gallons of massive undulating udder-breasts (or udder-bosoms). 

:blink: 

Gena


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## TearInYourHand (Apr 12, 2007)

I think absolute dealbreakers are stupid. I judge every potential date on a case by case basis.


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## Takera (Apr 12, 2007)

TearInYourHand said:


> I think absolute dealbreakers are stupid. I judge every potential date on a case by case basis.



I think you're right, abouththe case by case attitude....but at the same time there are just some things that are fundamental differences between people, where a relationship would be difficult to say the least. 

But hey I've seen a lot of strange pairings that I'd never thought would work... Still think my favorite is my friend's aunt the Jehovah's witness and a her Catholic husband... they make it work and they're happy. It is possible to work around somethings, and if you're happy that's all you can ask from life right?


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## Tina (Apr 12, 2007)

Genarose54 said:


> Must never describe my "girls" as numberless gallons of massive undulating udder-breasts (or udder-bosoms).
> 
> :blink:
> 
> Gena



That sounds way too specific, Gena. Sounds like a rather traumatic past is coming back at you.


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## Jack Skellington (Apr 13, 2007)

Genarose54 said:


> Must never describe my "girls" as numberless gallons of massive undulating udder-breasts (or udder-bosoms).



Is jubblies acceptable?


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## BothGunsBlazing (Apr 15, 2007)

Anime faces.

lots of 'em.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 15, 2007)

TearInYourHand said:


> I think absolute dealbreakers are stupid. I judge every potential date on a case by case basis.



I see where you are coming from but I suspect a lot of what people are naming here is probably based on bad past experiences they don't care to repeat- I know that mine was and case by case anyone with those characteristics just isn't for me.


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## Waxwing (Apr 15, 2007)

TearInYourHand said:


> I think absolute dealbreakers are stupid. I judge every potential date on a case by case basis.



I think that's largely true, unless your deal breaker is something like "shoots other people in the face for fun."


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## Wagimawr (Apr 15, 2007)

TearInYourHand said:


> I think absolute dealbreakers are stupid. I judge every potential date on a case by case basis.


So somebody having an absolute dealbreaker would be an absolute dealbreaker for you?


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## TearInYourHand (Apr 15, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> I think that's largely true, unless your deal breaker is something like "shoots other people in the face for fun."





Wagimawr said:


> So somebody having an absolute dealbreaker would be an absolute dealbreaker for you?



Haha good points guys!!!!!!

But hey, is there not something sexy about someone who shoots other people in the face for fun...come on!! 

I kid! I kid!


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## Miss Vickie (Apr 15, 2007)

Okay well, I'm married but...my only absolute deal breaker would be smoking. I cannot abide it. Not the idea of it. Not the smell of it. I fully cop to being irrational about it, but there ya go. 

Big ol' turnoffs are mean spiritedness, dishonesty, stupidity, ignorance, arrogance and sloppiness. I'm by no means a neat freak, but the older I get the neater I get and clutter and crap really get to me. That's not to say I wouldn't have a relationship with a slob, but I wouldn't live with them. Been there, done that...


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## Canonista (Apr 16, 2007)

If I didn't have a girlfriend other habits that would exclude a woman fron consideration are:

1. Addiction to cell phone. I like the saying "dance with the one who brung ya", which means if you're prone to being distracted by conversations with people who aren't in the room then I'm never going to get to know you on a date.

2. Bad driver. I'm not talking about tickets, I'm talking about things like not letting people into your lane when they signal (pretending to ignore them), or being constantly on the horn. I married an ill-tempered woman once. I won't date one.


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## snuggletiger (Apr 16, 2007)

If the woman starts making jibes ala Don Imus or Don Rickles thats an automatic Sayonara. Somehow sweet nice women shouldn't become shock jocks to stand out.


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## BigCutieSasha (Apr 16, 2007)

-Baby Momma Drama.
-Doesn't like my cats.
-A non FA.
-Still "close" with ex girlfriends.
-Won't believe in a high power spiritually or religiously.
-Is anti-social.
-Doesn't have a good relationship with their parents and family.
-Has ever done serious drugs beyond the "natural" ones.
-Drinks excessively.
-Doesn't have goals for his future.
-Doesn't ever want children.
-Someone who lies.
-Someone who has cheated in past relationships.
-Someone who isn't open to new music, art, places and people.
-Severe difference in political views.
-Emotionally distant and won't connect.


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## James (Apr 16, 2007)

Low self esteem... 

dishonesty. I wont lie to you. Dont lie to me... it ruins things.

not being able to laugh at themselves. taking themselves too seriously.

a skinny girl (h'obviously)

tries to hard to be what they think you want to see rather than just being themselves.

someone who will get on with and get involved with my friends. I'll be wanting to spend time with them... dont overpossess my time! 

and I hesitate to add it but I dated a girl with a child by another dude before. I wouldnt say it'd make a girl totally undateable but I know from the experience I had that it wasnt an easy gig...


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## The Obstreperous Ms. J (Apr 16, 2007)

I will not tolerate:

A Religious zealot
A Political ostrich
A Habitual Liar
Someone who is emotionally stunted (and not actively working to remedy that)
People lacking a passion in life.



My mother always said to keep the one that you had the best sex with, the rest can be dealt with.

She's been married for almost 40 yrs!!!


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## Waxwing (Apr 16, 2007)

BigCutieSasha said:


> -Doesn't ever want children.



This one comes up fairly often, which made me remember that one of my deal breakers is someone who absolutely wants children. I don't, and I wouldn't want someone else to sacrifice that and miss out.


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## Violet_Beauregard (Apr 16, 2007)

Addition to my list....


A prison stay.... that would be an issue.....


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## Tooz (Apr 16, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> This one comes up fairly often, which made me remember that one of my deal breakers is someone who absolutely wants children. I don't, and I wouldn't want someone else to sacrifice that and miss out.



Yeah, it's a problem for me, too. I don't want kids, and I'm pretty sure I never will. If I change my mind, I'd rather adopt, even then.


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## Violet_Beauregard (Apr 16, 2007)

I'm with you guys too. I love kids, but I know they're not for me. I'd probably accept a guys kids, but I just don't want my own. I've never had the desire to have my own. 




Tooz said:


> Yeah, it's a problem for me, too. I don't want kids, and I'm pretty sure I never will. If I change my mind, I'd rather adopt, even then.


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## BigCutieSasha (Apr 17, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> This one comes up fairly often, which made me remember that one of my deal breakers is someone who absolutely wants children. I don't, and I wouldn't want someone else to sacrifice that and miss out.


 
Yeah, I have a friend who married a man and she knew she didn't want kids. But he has always wanted kids. So now after 4 years they are divorcing because of this one issue. SO its something I must have and be clear on when considering dating someone. 
To each their own. I don't hate one anyone who doesn't want kids. I would rather people who don't want kids not have them and end up resenting the kids. So rock on for anyone who doesn't want kids.


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## TheMildlyStrangeone (Apr 17, 2007)

It's funny to me to read all of these because when I was younger I was absolutely against being with someone who smoked or drank. I was certain that I would never date a girl who did those things. Then as time passed I did those things and realized that I liked doing them at that point in time. I don't drink or smoke anymore but date a girl who smokes oddly enough. I ask her to quit only because I don't want her health to be compromised down the road. Those were really the only prerequisites I had. I think If I were in the situation to date again, I wouldn't date a girl who didn't share my passion for music. Even if our tastes disagree, I just want someone would loves music as much as I do.


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## Fuzzy (Apr 17, 2007)

Have we already had the "things that makes someone extremely date-able?" thread?


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## elle camino (Apr 17, 2007)

we really should. 
yin and yang.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Apr 17, 2007)

Wasn't that the "turn ons" thread?


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## alienlanes (Apr 17, 2007)

Here's my list. I think my standards are high but not unreasonable 

1. Don't not be intelligent. This is the big one. If you're not a reader, we'll run out of things to talk about pretty quickly. And if we're going to correspond online, make the effort to spell and punctuate correctly or I'll lose interest faster than you can say "hi how u doin tonite."

2. Don't be looking for a "white knight." I'm a gentle, considerate person, but I'm not a therapist. On the other hand, don't be so proud of your own sarcasm that you never let yourself be sincere.

3. Don't be conventionally materialist/consumerist/careerist and don't expect me to be. Be passionate and ambitious about your music, your painting, or your dissertation, not about your SUV and your bank balance. (But don't be irresponsible with money. I may be a bohemian, but I have no interest in dying in a garret.) 

4. Don't expect me to take an interest in spectator sports. Yes, I'm a guy. No, I don't care about baseball or football. Deal. Actually, don't expect me to be interested in anything that's conventionally "macho," except maybe for Home Improvement type stuff. (But don't be too put off by the occasional outburst of boyish geekiness... a Y chromosome does give one a certain predilection for spaceships and big explosions. )

5. Don't be politically apathetic. I'm a lefty, but I'd rather date a thoughtful conservative than someone who just didn't care. Same goes for religion/spirituality.

6. Don't have shitty taste in music. (Five years ago this would have been #1, but I've mellowed out since then.)

And finally, a physical one:

7. Don't wear too much makeup. I think it's gross. I'd rather look at none at all than at too much. Just a personal preference, but what can I say, it's a strong one.

I notice a lot of people have "no ambition" as a turn-off. Gee, maybe I should change my username if I want to get dates . Items 3, 6 and my user icon should give you a sense of why I'm "SlackerFA," but please don't think I'm _that_ kind of slacker!

And now that all that is said... anyone want to get some coffee?


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 17, 2007)

TheMildlyStrangeone said:


> It's funny to me to read all of these because when I was younger I was absolutely against being with someone who smoked or drank. I was certain that I would never date a girl who did those things. Then as time passed I did those things and realized that I liked doing them at that point in time. I don't drink or smoke anymore but date a girl who smokes oddly enough. I ask her to quit only because I don't want her health to be compromised down the road. Those were really the only prerequisites I had. I think If I were in the situation to date again, I wouldn't date a girl who didn't share my passion for music. Even if our tastes disagree, I just want someone would loves music as much as I do.




I dated a guy that smoked- it was nice to toss his smoking up in his face if he tried to say something about my own bad habits


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## Waxwing (Apr 17, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I dated a guy that smoked- it was nice to toss his smoking up in his face if he tried to say something about my own bad habits



See? Vices can be useful. 

I third the motion that we should have a 'what makes someone datable' thread.


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## Stormy (May 13, 2007)

Tobacco user

Non-marijuana user

Less intelligent than I am

Has young children or desire to reproduce

Doesnt like dogs

Really into cats

Poor hygiene

Dishonest with me

Believes in a supernatural being

Too negative, doesnt enjoy life enough

Overly materialistic

Unable to support himself financially

Too far away from Libertarian

Too prudish or otherwise unwilling to indulge in my kinks

Really into music of any kind  I could go the rest of my life without hearing anymore of it, some is OK but I dated one guy who just had to have music playing 24/7, in his house, vehicle, even all night long while he slept (made him stop that at least when I spent the night). Man, what is so wrong with quiet and the sounds of nature that it needs to be masked/polluted all the time? Same with TV/movies.

Extremely social  I love many natural, outdoor activities alone or as a couple but am not willing to go visit or do things with other people or have guests more than once a month or so and thats pushing it.

City person who does not want to move to a more rural environment, or thinks its boring out here



Tina said:


> Can't speak for anyone else, but my reasons are these:
> It gets into everything, and removes the good smell from things. If you enjoy nice smells and find that everything on you now smells from the person who is smoking near you, it's just not attractive.
> 
> As an ex-smoker (Marlboro in the red box) for twenty+ years, I have found that the chemicals they put in those things do weird things to a person. First, they make it exceedingly hard to quit once you're hooked. When you're trying to quit, the siren call can often be too hard to ignore for many. I found myself romantacizing cigarettes and the experience of smoking -- where and when I smoked, how it felt so good and tasted good. And it was total bullshit. When I tried one after having quit, it made me feel instantly exhausted, and it tasted like crap. But the mind of an addict romantacizes the substance of their choice -- it's part of the addiction and the area of the brain that wants to continue the addiction. BUT, once a person has quit for long enough, it's like getting all of that crap out of one's system often amplifies the reaction of disgust and leaves the person realizing just how much cigs stink, from the smoke to the ashtrays, to the vestiges left behind on clothing, skin and breath. Just the experience of breathing it in while someone is outside a building smoking and one has to run the 'smoke gauntlet' is disgusting. And this isn't even addressing the fact that most of us ex-smokers know that if we ever get past our disgust, that siren call might just not be ignored one day. Why risk the chance of starting to smoke again by living with someone who does it, whether it's indoors or not?
> ...


I agree, from another ex-Marlboro smoker too. Plus there are the health issues, and the cost if youre living together sharing expenses. I dont want to watch someone I love destroying themselves like that, listen to him cough from it, getting worse as times goes on, and likely lose him prematurely due to it.



Jes said:


> i also know the guy who dislikes capitalism and is turned off by people who have to throw money around all the time.
> 
> which is great. 'til he tells you that he's not willing to have a first meeting over a cup of coffee b/c 'why spend $2, when you can make it yourself for 10 cents???'
> 
> ...


Hahaha, he sounds like a loser, but I can think of plenty of free things to go out and do on a first date.


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## BeaBea (May 13, 2007)

It all kind of boils down to one thing:

Dont lie.

This extends to: Dont tell me stuff to 'be kind'. Dont tell me what you think I want to hear. Dont think I will let you get away with fooling yourself.

Everything else is pretty much negotiable but tall, good looking, intelligent, non-smokers probably start with an advantage. I'd take a short, average looking, averagely smart, occasionally smoker who was honest, over a lying-ass George Clooney lookalike anyday though.

Bitter? Me? Lol, never 
Tracey xx


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## Ample Pie (May 14, 2007)

*Political Conservatism
*Addiction
*Unwillingness/inability to deal with my eccentricities
*A lack of general consideration 
--People who litter
--People who don't put their grocery carts in a corral after they use them
--People who are loud in the movies
--etc
(a person who's inconsiderate in general is likely to be a poor friend/lover)
*Sexually incompatible/unwilling to experiment
*Inability to live and let live in general
*Pushy about religion
*Sexist/Racist/Sizist/Homophobic etc
*Violent
*Dishonest
*Inconsiderate smoker
*Untempered insecurity


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## Ample Pie (May 14, 2007)

BeaBea said:


> Dont lie.
> 
> This extends to: Dont tell me stuff to 'be kind'. Dont tell me what you think I want to hear. Dont think I will let you get away with fooling yourself.



Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant.


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## lemmink (May 14, 2007)

Hee, this is a cool one, I loved reading people's responses. (I've now realised I'm positively undateable by soooo many people from this board, lol).

1. Must not be religious in any form. No agnostics, no lapsed... nothing.
2. Must be politically left-wing. Must not be a total activist though.
3. Must be pro-choice. 
4. Vegan for preference, but must at least be okay living in a completely vegan house (animal products are okay outside of the house, not inside).
5. Not prejudiced, but also absolutely Not colourblind. 
6. Must have no interest in sport. 
7. Must not be loud or obnoxious.

I'm not completely anal about those though, I mean if they want to watch a particular sports game once a year I could possibly deal with it, and if they ate a burger at home I could handle it, so long as they scrubbed everything out afterwards and flossed for a week... wait, that is anal, isn't it? Oops. 

I used to have a list of stuff that I HAD TO HAVE in a partner, but my current bf fell into absolutely none of those categories and we ended up gettin' along just fine. (He didn't have a job, was very fair, nerdy, skinny, didn't read, was younger, still in school, had never travelled, didn't have any ambition, etc, etc...) I figure from that that it's probably better to have a list of things that you absolutely can't deal with in a partner rather than a list of things you MUST HAVE. 

I've never actually met anyone who was married before or who had kids, so I've no idea how I'd feel about it if it happened. Never met anyone who was in jail either. Oy, my life is so sheltered...


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## boogiebomb (May 14, 2007)

I hate liars with a passion. 
If she doesn't believe in anything.
If she doesn't regularly say hi to somebody named giene.
Ugly feet. Ugly hands. If her speaking voice sounds like she should be singing lead for Slayer.


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## Jane (May 14, 2007)

Passive/aggressive.


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## Tooz (May 14, 2007)

If they drive an SUV, I am not dating them.


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## ashmamma84 (May 14, 2007)

This is not an exhaustive list, but just to give you an idea...

-uneducated
-lazy
-political views that are way different from mine
-hygiene issues
-anti social
-overzealous religious views
-mean, cruel, etc.


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## Zandoz (May 14, 2007)

My marriage license.


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## liz (di-va) (May 16, 2007)

Not willing to just take a chance. At some point it has to be done!


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## ATrueFA (May 16, 2007)

Speaking as someone thats been proven to be totally undateable, these are what would be deal killers for me:

Not being honest
Poor hygiene
Being a leech or gold digger
Doesn't like animals
Religious zealot
Obnoxious and/or uncaring
Smoker
Cruel to people or animals

and so on... not that it matters as I never get to date anyways...

Dave


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## SuperMishe (May 16, 2007)

1. Someone who looks down his nose at others/thinks he's better than others
2. Doesn't care what others think to the extent of embarassment
3. An effeminate man
4. A smoker
5. Someone who's passive/aggressive
6. Financially insecure
7. A guy who fills his IM's and emails with innuendos
8. Someone who doesn't get my sense of humor!!


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## Forgotten_Futures (May 16, 2007)

clynn said:


> Men who use sarcasm at inappropriate times because they don't know how to connect with people.


 
Doh, I'm out =P


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## SoVerySoft (May 16, 2007)

SuperMishe said:


> 7. A guy who fills his IM's and emails with innuendos



OMG OMG OMG!! YES! And they never understand how tiresome and icky it is!! :doh:


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## Tooz (May 17, 2007)

Guys who complain that they'll be single forever, so everything is pointless.


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## tink977 (May 17, 2007)

1. Stupidity
2. Racism
3. No job, no car, no initiative
4. Treating waiters, etc. badly


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## clynn (May 19, 2007)

Forgotten_Futures said:


> Doh, I'm out =P



Yeah, well, a girl's gotta draw the line somewhere, you know?


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## Sanders (May 19, 2007)

Reading through this thread I have confirmed my suspicions that I will in fact never have a girlfriend.


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## TCUBOB (May 20, 2007)

Stupidity. All else can be overcome, IMHO. But if all you can talk about is why Paris Hilton deserves a pardon, I cannot, and will not ever, be able to date you.

As for me, I'm willing to try anything at least once, but I admit that I'm sometimes a little lacking in the motivation department. It's a character flaw that I work on with degrees of success, along with other flaws, which (HellO!) we all have. You'll either forgive me for my numerous flaws and accept that I'm not perfect and never will be or you won't.

Judging by my luck with the fairer sex, won't is the clear winner.....


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## Fatgirlfan (May 21, 2007)

Hmm I see a patern here. It seems that many of the issues that people have are with people with low socio-economic standing.

-poor education
-bad paying job
-poor hygene.....poor teeth & clothes
-poor social skills
-poor family background


disclaimer--this post is only an opinion and no reflects any ill feeling toward people who may have come from a disadvantaged upbringing.


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## supersoup (May 21, 2007)

Sanders said:


> Reading through this thread I have confirmed my suspicions that I will in fact never have a girlfriend.



ditto, except i shall never have another boyfriend, and it has nothing to do with this thread.



also, you're undateable if you're mean. that's about it.


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## AnnMarie (May 21, 2007)

Fatgirlfan said:


> Hmm I see a patern here. It seems that many of the issues that people have are with people with low socio-economic standing.
> 
> -poor education
> -bad paying job
> ...



I don't want to turn this whole thread around at all, because I think it's really interesting, and I know you posted a disclaimer. 

However, in general, associating all those things with lower socio-economic standing is just awful to me. Hygiene and closeness with family, especially, are not things that are money dependent, and often the people with the closest families are those that have struggled the most. It forces closeness and reliance and sharing and communication in a way that many "advantaged" families may never have (not saying they aren't close families as well... it's not an us/them thing, is my point.)

I don't know, I think you were trying to make a point, which is totally fine, but it sort of sounds like you are lumping issues in with social standing or class, and some of the smelliest humans I've ever met are rollin' in dough - it's about individuals and how they present themselves, not where they come/came from.


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## TCUBOB (May 21, 2007)

SOUP!?!??!?!

"Don't go breakin' my heart....."



supersoup said:


> ditto, except i shall never have another boyfriend, and it has nothing to do with this thread.QUOTE]


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## MsGreenLantern (May 21, 2007)

Hunters. I love animals, and I just have a problem with people enjoying the process of killing living things. Especially since the majority are more worried about the size and head of their kill and not eating it or using all the parts (American Indian style!) I will NOT live in a house with stuffed things, mounted heads, hoofs, antlers, or any other dead body parts in it.

Heavy drinkers are next on the list. I don't have the slightest issue with a man who likes a few beers on the weekend, or one after a hard day at work, but if he goes out bar hopin', or binges on the weekend, I want no parts of him.

I can't handle bad hygene either. If I see a guy digging for gold in his nose without a tissue or washing of the hands right away, or using the bathroom without washing up, or brushing his teeth once a week instead of once (or twice!) a day...nasty.


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## elle camino (May 23, 2007)

i thought of one today, after a recent deluge of unsolicited PMs and IMs. 
lol.


no seriously, 'lol' makes someone completely unattractive, to me.
i know it will seems really nazi and nitpicky to those of you who are fans of the lol, but i'm pretty sure my fellow internet-shorthand haters will feel me on this one. if we're having a conversation in some kinda text-based format (so PMs, IMs, texts, whathaveyou), and i say something kinda funny, and YOU say 'lol'? it's pretty much over. because seriously, if you can't scrape together more than three letters to express that you thought something was funny, because i don't know...words are big and scary and hurt your brain, chances are you're just not that bright. period. also, if you're the kind of person who sees someone type 'lol' and goes 'l. o. l.? what does that mean? oh it means you're laughing at something? haha that's GREAT! how CLEVER! wow! LOL! i'm gonna use that!!', then yeah. we're not going to get along, you and me. 
/rant.


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## Wagimawr (May 23, 2007)

Agreed.

I make it a point to never ever use "lol", except when referencing it or mocking it (and when mocking, "lulz" usually comes into play).

brb is fine, wb is fine, but beyond that there's not much reason to truncate

(on the other hand, "nice " does tend to get old, and that's sometimes my response...)


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## Allie Cat (May 23, 2007)

I'm more likely to say 'lollerskates' or 'lolz' than 'lol.' People saying 'lol' makes me want to shoot them in the face with bazookas.

...shit, I said lol. Agh, I said it again! *shoots self in face with three bazookas, dies*

=Divals


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## Wagimawr (May 23, 2007)

lol

...ish.


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## BeaBea (May 23, 2007)

I had no idea that annoyed people. Now I know why I'm single, lol.

Seriously, I always thought that was a fairly inoffensive shorthand and all this time I've been driving people crazy. Ooops. Now, if you're going to have a go at 'wd' and 'cd' for would and could then I'm right there beside you with my own armed Bazooka...

Tracey xx


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## LoveBHMS (May 23, 2007)

elle camino said:


> i thought of one today, after a recent deluge of unsolicited PMs and IMs.
> lol.
> 
> 
> ...



Elle never runs out of ways to make some of us laugh hysterically when we read her observations and rants.


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## Allie Cat (May 23, 2007)

Something even worse than 'lol,' however, is the dreaded 'u' and 'r' for 'you' and 'are.' It doesn't make you look cool, it doesn't make people ph33r your m4d internet skilz, it just makes you look like you didn't make it past first grade...

I see this more in guys than girls. I wonder why that is.

In short, if you can't be bothered to use correct spelling and grammar, DON'T TALK ON THE INTERNETS! ...gawd.

=Divals


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## ripley (May 23, 2007)

I think I'm pretty smart but I use the dreaded "lol" quite a bit. I really don't care if it bugs people  because I use it to show that I'm joking or get a joke, and with text sometimes it's hard to convey that. Also, I tried to quit and it didn't last. I find it kind of funny that people would see "lol" and say "I'll henceforth have no more to do with you!"


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## elle camino (May 23, 2007)

eh, it's not so much like that.
i mean this is the 'what makes someone undateable' thread, after all. not the 'what makes you hate people with an undying passion' thread. it's something (the use of internet acronyms in leu of actual, y'know. words/conversation.) that, if i'm chatting with a fella and he does, places him in the 'nope!' category. same goes for having long greasy hair, a prison record, or still living with his mom. 
all nopes.


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## ripley (May 23, 2007)

Oh yeah, I understand what you're saying. lol 


I hate "ur" and other things...they don't thrill me but I just wouldn't write a guy off for them.


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## Ample Pie (May 23, 2007)

ripley said:


> Oh yeah, I understand what you're saying. lol
> 
> 
> I hate "ur" and other things...they don't thrill me but I just wouldn't write a guy off for them.



I do for "ur" and its variations, but not for lol. Lol has moments where it makes sense to me. "Ur" does not.


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## Blackjack (May 23, 2007)

I only use "LOL" in a conversation when I'm really LOL'ing in real life. Which isn't terribly often.


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## Carrie (May 23, 2007)

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

I'm feeling contrary today.


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## gypsy (May 23, 2007)

elle camino said:


> i thought of one today, after a recent deluge of unsolicited PMs and IMs.
> lol.
> 
> 
> ...



Hey, I can stop the "lol" anytime I feel like it. *starts practicing for when elle decides to pop into chat*


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## activistfatgirl (May 23, 2007)

I think I hear what Elle's saying. I lol all the time, like mentioned, it's easier via text medium to denote something is funny that way, or that I'm really laughing. 

However, that's different in an unsolicited PM or IM. I just got one that was really short.

Two words.

One of them was "lol".

You don't even have time to capitalize?

To that I say:

Me not LOLing.


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## Smushygirl (May 23, 2007)

I know you all hate it, but I am the world's slowest typist and those euphemisms have been a boon to me. Also, like Kevin, I only use them when I am laughing out loud as many of you make me do! Lighten up, there are plenty of ways to find out you are talking to an idiot without judging them for that.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 23, 2007)

Wagimawr said:


> Agreed.
> 
> I make it a point to never ever use "lol", except when referencing it or mocking it (and when mocking, "lulz" usually comes into play).
> 
> ...




Personally, I'm quite happy to get a "lol" (maybe even a few  ) at some of the jokes I crack 


<is insanely lol'ing to herself right now over this>


and oh, if you get a lol out of me, it's true- just like I never fake laugh in reality

It IS a compliment


One thing negative I will say about "lol" is that I hate it when people are being smartasses in the chess lounges, make some stupid remark and then "lol" at their own stupid remark- that's just retarded.


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## ScreamingChicken (May 23, 2007)

ripley said:


> I think I'm pretty smart but I use the dreaded "lol" quite a bit.



I missed you at the last LOLaholics Anonymous meeting  


Yep, I am guilty of using LOL on numerous occasions. And emoticons


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 23, 2007)

Divals said:


> Something even worse than 'lol,' however, is the dreaded 'u' and 'r' for 'you' and 'are.' It doesn't make you look cool, it doesn't make people ph33r your m4d internet skilz, it just makes you look like you didn't make it past first grade...
> 
> I see this more in guys than girls. I wonder why that is.
> 
> ...




*God  .


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## activistfatgirl (May 23, 2007)

This might be appropriate timing for me to mention that one of the things that might make someone undateable falls under two categories:

1. Having a hard time communicating via written medium. Not talking about typos, but larger problems with sentence structure, etc.

2. Being a grammar nazi. Seriously, I think it reeks of so much classism and elitism and total snobbery. Anyone who tells anyone they don't belong someplace because they don't spell well or use the right vocabulary in context is discriminating hardcore against folks with learning disabilities and different skill sets. I'm firm on my take on this. 

Sorry, Divals. I guess it won't werk out 4 us.  
Elle, you look hot. lol.


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## The Obstreperous Ms. J (May 23, 2007)

activistfatgirl said:


> 2. Being a grammar nazi. Seriously, I think it reeks of so much classism and elitism and total snobbery. Anyone who tells anyone they don't belong someplace because they don't spell well or use the right vocabulary in context is discriminating hardcore against folks with learning disabilities and different skill sets. I'm firm on my take on this.
> 
> .



classicism. Its classicism, not classism.

Sorry AGF.

Love,
The Grammar Nazi.


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## Allie Cat (May 23, 2007)

activistfatgirl said:


> 2. Being a grammar nazi. Seriously, I think it reeks of so much classism and elitism and total snobbery. Anyone who tells anyone they don't belong someplace because they don't spell well or use the right vocabulary in context is discriminating hardcore against folks with learning disabilities and different skill sets. I'm firm on my take on this.
> 
> Sorry, Divals. I guess it won't werk out 4 us.



I didn't say 'if you can't,' I said 'if you can't be bothered...' If there's a legitimate reason for someone to have no grammar or spelling, like a learning disability or just not having much in the way of skills, that's one thing; but if someone has no reason other than pure laziness, well.. ya know.

=Divals


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## activistfatgirl (May 23, 2007)

The Obstreperous Ms. J said:


> classicism. Its classicism, not classism.
> 
> Sorry AGF.
> 
> ...



I don't even know what you're talking about, smart lady.

I'll have to give my rant about book learnin' sometime soon.


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## panhype (May 23, 2007)

lol This thread ! Been following it for a while.

For sure i'm a dating elitee-heee-heee-ist. Not in the sense that i would mercilessly run down a check list and say No, not qualified.
But. Music. Anything without a fat/tight bass/riddim makes me leave the room.. Sorry, i'm addicted to music.
And. Paying the restaurant bills. Wouldn't do that. Sorry, that's the culture i'm rooted in.

*Takes off wolf's clothes*

That doesn't mean i wouldn't pay ever.. JUST FOR A CHANGE i might do that.

I'm a strong follower of the concept of mutuality, of equal positions in the tango. And, more importantly, i need the sensibility being able to capture where people are coming from. Sexy relativism ! Without that i hardly can become 'interested'. But that doesn't mean i could tolerate ANYTHING. Some things just make me feel uncomfortable, like bad addictions (drugs) or a violent nature. But about alot of aspects mentioned so far i couldn't care less. Spelling? Generic language? Been quite close to a girl for a long time whose spelling and level of speech was worse than maybe 99% of all posters here.. it didn't bother me. Why should it? Her personality simply was beautiful. Hmm.. didn't intend to make such a longgg post. Anywayz.


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## Santaclear (May 23, 2007)

The Obstreperous Ms. J said:


> classicism. Its classicism, not classism.
> 
> Sorry AGF.
> 
> ...



Classyism. :bow:


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## The Obstreperous Ms. J (May 23, 2007)

Its malapropism.


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## KittyKitten (May 23, 2010)

In no particular order

1. A man who does not believe in God. I will not marry an atheist nor a religious fanatic (cause I sure as heck am not a saint).

2. Bad hygiene (You can't be stinkin', clean your balls, man)

3. Wimpy (no weak men, no pushovers, you should be protecting ME)

4. Disrespectful (no brainer)

5. Misogynist (I just hate men who have a low opinion of women and blames everyone because of the bit...witch that broke his heart)

6. A man unsure of his sexuality ( I can't have you on the DL, you better know what team you bat for...)

7. Unmotivated men who have no direction in life (no losers)

8. Stingy and cheap men (I ain't saying I'm a goldigger...)

9. Bad, yellowed teeth (a gap between the front teeth is sexy at times, though)

10. Men who spit (just plain nasty)

11. Deceitful (no brainer)


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## Dolce (May 23, 2010)

happyface83 said:


> In no particular order
> 
> 1. A man who does not believe in God. I will not marry an atheist nor a religious fanatic (cause I sure as heck am not a saint).
> 
> ...



Cut, copy, paste.


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## Lamia (May 23, 2010)

Animal Cruelty
If I asked "Do you like cats?" and the reply was "They're ok" or "Yes!" or even "I don't care for animals" then it was cool, but if they told a story about how they used to injure cats or that they hate them and like to run them over it was a NO Reuben. 

Racist jokes or comments
I had a guy I talked to for 2 months we were going to meet and one night while chatting he told some racist joke. He kept saying "come on it's just a joke". I don't care. If you think comparing someone's ethnicity to an animal is funny then you're an inbred, knuckle dragging, banjo picking troglodyte and I want nothing to do with you..period. 

You can't really discern if someone is a back stabbing liar through conversation, but you can look for behaviors and attitudes that might indicate they're a vile human being.


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## KittyKitten (May 23, 2010)

Lamia said:


> Animal Cruelty
> If I asked "Do you like cats?" and the reply was "They're ok" or "Yes!" or even "I don't care for animals" then it was cool, but if they told a story about how they used to injure cats or that they hate them and like to run them over it was a NO Reuben.



Not to mention people who are cruel to animals more than likely would move on to hurting humans. They are disturbed people.


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## Lamia (May 23, 2010)

happyface83 said:


> Not to mention people who are cruel to animals more than likely would move on to hurting humans. They are disturbed people.



Also, where I am from men like to hurt cats specifically, but would never hurt a dog. They're usually abusive to women or controlling.


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## Captain Save (May 24, 2010)

I just went through the whole thread, and learned a lot! I suppose it says a lot about what you need out of a potential mate to have dealbreakers listed this way.

- *Tobacco use*. The few smokers with whom I was briefly involved all had compost heaps in their lungs which no amount of brushing, flossing, gum or mints would eliminate; I won't waste a woman's time that way anymore.

- *Police involvement*. If you are a well known client in the criminal justice system, or are regularly on America's Most Wanted, Dateline NBC, COPS, etc, don't expect me to desire any intimacy with you. I can deal with traffic offenses and public nudity, though. 

- *Religious piety*. I'll be respectful of your religious beliefs; if that includes frequently dragging me to your house of worship when you know we don't share those beliefs, we'll never get more intimate than polite friendship.

- *Style*. If you closely resemble a typical guest on Jerry Springer or Maury, I promise not to stand in the way of someone who will complement your lifestyle and make you happy.

- *Hygiene*. I'm not interested in a high maintenance fashion model; however, if your teeth all resemble the burnt end of the cigarette, and if you can't be bothered to bathe daily, we might have issues. 


There's more, of course, but I'll keep it brief for now.


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