# Fat people: Do you like fat on the opposite sex?



## That Guy You Met Once (Mar 18, 2010)

It's a simple question, asked mainly out of curiosity. I'd like to know how many FA and FFAs are themselves fat.

BTW: 

I'm enthusiastically voting yes.


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## Bearsy (Mar 20, 2010)

I'm not a big fan of big people... I'm generally attracted to petite ladies... but it's not so cut and dry, because I know a few BBWs whom I find absolutely beautiful.


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## Tracyarts (Mar 20, 2010)

Neither, I don't have a solid preference one way or the other when it comes to body shape and size. So, I find *some* fat guys attractive, just like I find *some* skinny guys attractive. Although I mostly have wound up in relationships with guys who ranged from the larger side of average to slightly less than supersized. 

Tracy


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## Keb (Mar 20, 2010)

I like guys who make me feel feminine, and guys I can cuddle with. So while not an FFA per se, I do like a bit of padding.


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## swedishiron (Mar 20, 2010)

Once again I will say it; check out the singles listing for MOST BBWs (example FantasyFeeder site) and they only want THIN/physically fit men - what HYPOCRITES!


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## Keb (Mar 20, 2010)

swedishiron said:


> Once again I will say it; check out the singles listing for MOST BBWs (example FantasyFeeder site) and they only want THIN/physically fit men - what HYPOCRITES!



For most of us, I'd say it's no more hypocritical than having brown hair and liking red on a partner. Only a few fat people choose to be fat. 

That said, I don't care too much what body type my guy has. I think the range I prefer is "overweight" or the high end of "normal", not obese (while I am most certainly obese myself), but his affection for me matters far more than what he looks like. I will confess to admiring a well-built arm and chest, but bulgy muscles scare me. 

So please tell me there is an averagish guy out there for me!


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## Carrie (Mar 21, 2010)

swedishiron said:


> Once again I will say it; check out the singles listing for MOST BBWs (example FantasyFeeder site) and they only want THIN/physically fit men - what HYPOCRITES!


Ah, okay, so fat women attracted to thin men are hypocrites. So by that, ahh, logic, thin men attracted to fat women are hypocrites, too, yes?


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## mossystate (Mar 21, 2010)

swedishiron said:


> .... - what HYPOCRITES!



Oh, so sorry...you have just lost the $2.54 you had when you entered the Final Jeopardy round. Please accept this box of opened Rice-a-Roni as a consolation prize. 

the flavor packet was removed...oops

Come on...that is just a silly comment.


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## CleverBomb (Mar 21, 2010)

Carrie said:


> Ah, okay, so fat women attracted to thin men are hypocrites. So by that, ahh, logic, thin men attracted to fat women are hypocrites, too, yes?


Still out of rep for the day. 
But yeah. 


It comes down to this; the community here is largely comprised of two groups:
Fat people (mostly, heterosexual women), and people who are attracted to fat people (mostly, heterosexual men). There isn't necessarily much overlap. 

-Rusty


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## StarWitness (Mar 21, 2010)

Re: Fat Men







"I'm sooooo into you..."


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## tummytubby (Mar 21, 2010)

I fancy thin, fit men, married to one also.
But with a nice looking chubby man I'll turn my head!
And if hub gains a few, I wouldn't mind either, as long as he feels right about it. Beeing a long-distance runner I think he wouldn't though.


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## TallFatSue (Mar 21, 2010)

Then there's a certain thin man who didn't like fat girls, and he told me in no uncertain terms when we first met. Evidently he changed his mind because we've been married almost 28 years. It turned out he was overcompensating because despite his pre-conceived notions he fell in love with the fattest girl he ever met anyway, but he didn't know how to handle so much fat. It was a romance out of a screwball comedy.  He sure learned, and now he handles my fat as much as possible. :smitten:


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## verucassault (Mar 21, 2010)

I am not attracted to fat men, usually. Opposites attract, I say. I do however like big, powerfull men who might by someone's standard be unfit or fat. I dig rugby players alot, but its not rule. Or former athletic build. my general rule is someone just average. a dude not thin and might have tummy, that doesnt interfere with penetration, ha!

In my experience men that have been most critical of my size have been fat men. so i dont know what that is all about


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## bigmac (Mar 21, 2010)

Carrie said:


> Ah, okay, so fat women attracted to thin men are hypocrites. So by that, ahh, logic, thin men attracted to fat women are hypocrites, too, yes?



Attracted to fine -- but if they're going to go down the "I want someone to like me for me" or "I want someone who can look past the fat" road then YES they are hypocrites if they don't reciprocate.


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## verucassault (Mar 21, 2010)

phew, glad i am not a hyprocrite, i never asked anyone to looks past the fast or just like me for my awesome personality. my fat needs to make him happy in the pants because its his preference.


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## joswitch (Mar 21, 2010)

mossystate said:


> Oh, so sorry...you have just lost the $2.54 you had when you entered the Final Jeopardy round. Please accept this box of opened Rice-a-Roni as a consolation prize.
> 
> the flavor packet was removed...oops
> 
> Come on...that is just a silly comment.



O.M.G. I agree with mossy. 

Swedishiron - look what you did!

The sky is falling! The sky is falling!  

*sings* it's the end of the world as we know it... it's the end of the world as we know it...


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## joswitch (Mar 21, 2010)

StarWitness said:


> Re: Fat Men
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Zoidberg FTW!

"Look at me - Zoidberg! The home owner!"


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## Allie Cat (Mar 21, 2010)

I'm fat... I guess. 5'11" and 218 last time I was weighed and measured. But I count myself as a FA first and a fat person second, and I'm trying to lose weight. Does that make me a hypocrite, to like fatness on other women but hate it on myself? Meh.


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## BBW Goddess Anna (Mar 21, 2010)

I like men of all shapes and sizes, even ones shorter than me!! As for women, though, I find myself far more attracted to curves and soft squishy bodies. Thin women seem less feminine in my eyes. Not that they are, but it seems that way when it comes to physical attraction.


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## Fat Brian (Mar 21, 2010)

I think there is a truism here that confuses most male FA's. We have an attraction to a fat partner, but very rarely does that partner have the same attraction. Most of the BBW's here have the same attractions as any other woman regardless of size. The BBW's are here because of a defining physical characteristic, while the FA's are here because of a sexual interest. When the BBW's don't share the fantasy with the FA's or the FA's don't understand the realities of being fat is where the friction lies.

Case in point, I married a beautiful BBW who is now fully in the SSBBW ranks. I was about 300 lbs when we got married and am about 350 now. While I love her gain over the last 10 years she would be fine if I dropped 100lbs or more. She loves me for me but I am not her "type" and if I got ambitious about weight loss I would have her full support. She knows I enjoy her size but recently she has started to lose a little because she got too big for her comfort. We can find a happy medium in the low 300's and she wants to be there again. Being fat myself I have a better understanding of her limitations because to a certain extent they are mine also.

There is no hypocrisy in being fat but not having the kink for fat, you see it on the BHM board all the time and the BBW's here should be able to express themselves without that accusation.


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## CleverBomb (Mar 21, 2010)

Fat Brian said:


> I think there is a truism here that confuses most male FA's. We have an attraction to a fat partner, but very rarely does that partner have the same attraction. Most of the BBW's here have the same attractions as any other woman regardless of size. The BBW's are here because of a defining physical characteristic, while the FA's are here because of a sexual interest. When the BBW's don't share the fantasy with the FA's or the FA's don't understand the realities of being fat is where the friction lies.
> 
> Case in point, I married a beautiful BBW who is now fully in the SSBBW ranks. I was about 300 lbs when we got married and am about 350 now. While I love her gain over the last 10 years she would be fine if I dropped 100lbs or more. She loves me for me but I am not her "type" and if I got ambitious about weight loss I would have her full support. She knows I enjoy her size but recently she has started to lose a little because she got too big for her comfort. We can find a happy medium in the low 300's and she wants to be there again. Being fat myself I have a better understanding of her limitations because to a certain extent they are mine also.
> 
> There is no hypocrisy in being fat but not having the kink for fat, you see it on the BHM board all the time and the BBW's here should be able to express themselves without that accusation.


Still can't rep (I went on a rep binge yesterday) but Brian just explained what I meant by my previous post better than I did. 

-Rusty


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## joswitch (Mar 21, 2010)

CleverBomb said:


> Still can't rep (I went on a rep binge yesterday) but Brian just explained what I meant by my previous post better than I did.
> 
> -Rusty



Got him for ya!


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## Keb (Mar 21, 2010)

Divals said:


> I'm fat... I guess. 5'11" and 218 last time I was weighed and measured. But I count myself as a FA first and a fat person second, and I'm trying to lose weight. Does that make me a hypocrite, to like fatness on other women but hate it on myself? Meh.



Doubt it. After all, nothing against homosexual people, but if most of us were attracted only to the elements our bodies have, there would be a lot fewer people in the world. They say opposites attract, because complementary unions fill in the, er, gaps.


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## Jon Blaze (Mar 22, 2010)

swedishiron said:


> Once again I will say it; check out the singles listing for MOST BBWs (example FantasyFeeder site) and they only want THIN/physically fit men - what HYPOCRITES!



LOL QUE
Hey smart guy: If you're going to defend FAs for having preferences, then you need to defend BBWS that have preferences too. Your post is HYPOCRITICAL.


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## LovelyLiz (Mar 22, 2010)

I voted "yes" though I don't exclusively like fat men - I am radically open in terms of physical types.

And while I agree with what some other people have said that the contrast between a soft, fat body and a hard, thin/toned body can be super fun...there's also something to be said for the feeling of familiarity and comfort that can come from being with someone of a similar body type.

P.S. I think maybe the poll should be "Fat people: Do you like fat on the gender you are attracted to?" since not everyone is attracted to the opposite sex. Just a thought.


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## ChubbyPuppy (Mar 22, 2010)

I am a fat FFA. A FFFA I guess. Oh yay more silly acronyms. I'm just a fat chick who loves guys bigger than me. My boyfriend towers over me by more than a foot and outweighs me by 100 pounds, and I am not what most would consider a small girl. (well, height-wise I am, but I am _round_.) Of course, I have to say it hasn't been exclusive in the past. I've dated a couple skinny FAs and they were pretty hot too, but nothing compared to my bf now. :wubu:


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## calauria (Mar 22, 2010)

joswitch said:


> O.M.G. I agree with mossy.
> 
> Swedishiron - look what you did!
> 
> ...



LOL!!
So funny...lol


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## mossystate (Mar 22, 2010)

Aw...fuck. I have that boy on ignore, and then you had to go and quote him.


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## stldpn (Mar 22, 2010)

I do find it interesting. I see bbws kvetch eternally about men who won't be seen in public with them. And yet, I don't hear it so much from the bbw who are also real time ffas and dating a fat dude. Sometimes it seems a simple matter of choosing between realistic or mostly celibate.

BTW In my experience, if a guy is having trouble acheiving penetration, it's not the fat that's an issue.


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## OneHauteMama (Mar 22, 2010)

I'm a FFA...and a BBW... But that doesn't mean a more trim guy wouldn't have a chance with me. I'll give anyone a shot, but I do have preferences...

That said, I have had more than a few FA's who were NOT BHMs who I found incredibly sweet and attractive. For me it's not SO much the outer shell, it's what's inside... But I personally enjoy the outside of a Lindt Lindor Truffle as much as the inside, so maybe it _is_ the outside too...

Shit I just totally confused myself LMAO


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## chicken legs (Mar 22, 2010)

I love fat on the opposite sex and the same sex..hehehe. Actually I gained weight on purpose to handle bigger men. However, I am feeling the need to get balanced again and that usually results in weightloss. I'm not sure how that will effect my personal life. I usually lose my sex drive...moving chakras and whatnot does that to me. Plus, I'm really jonesing for some indoor skydiving and that means I have to get under 160 (210..5'6 now). When I'm smaller most big guys (who are the fatty side) are usually to insecure to be with me and I can't get past first base with them.


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## CPProp (Mar 22, 2010)

In a nut shell Yes, cuddling up to a fat warm female body of the opposite sex is the personification of bliss .


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## UWSGuy (Mar 22, 2010)

swedishiron said:


> Once again I will say it; check out the singles listing for MOST BBWs (example FantasyFeeder site) and they only want THIN/physically fit men - what HYPOCRITES!



theres no such thing as hypocrisy when it comes to attraction

there's only "lucky" (the people you are attracted to are attracted to you) and "unlucky" (the people you are attracted to aren't attracted to) 

that's all there is to it


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## That Guy You Met Once (Mar 23, 2010)

I'm glad to see so many yeses. (That word never looks like it's spelled right.)


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## That Guy You Met Once (Mar 23, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> When I'm smaller most big guys (who are the fatty side) are usually to insecure to be with me and I can't get past first base with them.



That's when you just tackle them.


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## Just_Jen (Mar 23, 2010)

ill completely admit that i am most attracted to skinny men.
I think for me it's the whole having something that you can't have (i.e. being skinny)..i just think it's plain hawt 

though obviously it all changes when personality is counted in too because then it could be anyone as long as they are amazing ^^


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## Sensualbbwcurves (Mar 23, 2010)

Well...I personally am not a FFA, but I find myself physically attracted to men that are more husky than fat...I like to call it fat combined with muscle! I love when the man I am with is hard and soft all @ the same time.


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## That Guy You Met Once (Mar 23, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> However, I am feeling the need to get balanced again and that usually results in weightloss. I'm not sure how that will effect my personal life. I usually lose my sex drive.



I'm exactly the same way whenever I lose weight. Very little interest in sex. It's bizarre.


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## mossystate (Mar 23, 2010)

I prefer a bit of gristle.


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## Rosie (Mar 25, 2010)

swedishiron said:


> Once again I will say it; check out the singles listing for MOST BBWs (example FantasyFeeder site) and they only want THIN/physically fit men - what HYPOCRITES!



How does that make them hypocrites? 


hyp·o·crite&#8194; &#8194;/&#712;h&#618;p&#601;kr&#618;t/ Show Spelled[hip-uh-krit] Show IPA 
noun
1.a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs. 
2.a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, esp. one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements. 


If someone is saying that weight should not matter in choosing a dating partner, but will not themselves date a fat person, then that is being a hypocrite. It is not being a hypocrite to be fat and choose to not date fat ppl, there's no law anywhere saying that a fat person can't prefer thin partners. 

BTW, in your mind is a thin person who wants a fat partner a hypocrite?


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## Tau (Mar 26, 2010)

swedishiron said:


> Once again I will say it; check out the singles listing for MOST BBWs (example FantasyFeeder site) and they only want THIN/physically fit men - what HYPOCRITES!



Its not hypocritical to have a preference - and just because I'm a fatty doesn't mean I'm turned on by other fatties. How does that even make sense?? I'm attracted to men who are physically powerful, generally really lean but I do love me some muscle too. That does not mean i find fat men ugly, or sit in some kind of nasty judgement of them. They are just not as likely to turn my head as the skinnier variety do. Its ok to like what you like.


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## Tau (Mar 26, 2010)

verucassault said:


> phew, glad i am not a hyprocrite, i never asked anyone to looks past the fast or just like me for my awesome personality. my fat needs to make him happy in the pants because its his preference.



Exactly - do not look past anything. I want a partner who is attracted to all of me - I figure any partner I have would want the same


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## That Guy You Met Once (Mar 30, 2010)

Tau said:


> Its not hypocritical to have a preference - and just because I'm a fatty doesn't mean I'm turned on by other fatties. How does that even make sense?? I'm attracted to men who are physically powerful, generally really lean but I do love me some muscle too. That does not mean i find fat men ugly, or sit in some kind of nasty judgement of them. They are just not as likely to turn my head as the skinnier variety do. Its ok to like what you like.



Nothing with that.

However, what I DO find immensely hypocritical is the mentality that "women are meant for childbirth, so they just naturally carry fat better. Men, on the other hand, are SUPPOSED to be fit." Total bullshit, and it bugs me to no end.


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## thatgirl08 (Mar 30, 2010)

I like a wide range of guys. Generally speaking, lanky or chubby and a little muscular is what I'm most attracted to but occasionally I find myself attracted to the 6pack/super muscular or fatter-than-chubby guy but it's more rare.


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## swedishiron (Mar 30, 2010)

It IS HYPOCRITICAL when you as BBW want people to accept who you are despite your size which distinguishes (the most) YET you won't show the same acceptance for a male JUST BECAUSE OF HIS SIZE. When you state you WON'T DATE "FATTIES" as you will OFTEN found stated in the dating profiles of BBW - DAMN RIGHT THEY ARE HYPOCRITES.


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## thatgirl08 (Mar 30, 2010)

There's a difference between accepting someone and being physically attracted to them. There is nothing hypocritical about not being attracted to something.. even if you are that thing. You're a man, you want to date women.. is that hypocritical? There's plenty of big girls that like and date big guys.. stop crying over the few who don't.. christ.


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## Paquito (Mar 30, 2010)

swedishiron said:


> It IS HYPOCRITICAL when you as BBW want people to accept who you are despite your size which distinguishes (the most) YET you won't show the same acceptance for a male JUST BECAUSE OF HIS SIZE. When you state you WON'T DATE "FATTIES" as you will OFTEN found stated in the dating profiles of BBW - DAMN RIGHT THEY ARE HYPOCRITES.



So are thin men who won't date thin women because of preferences hypocrites too?


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## Jon Blaze (Mar 30, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> There's a difference between accepting someone and being physically attracted to them. There is nothing hypocritical about not being attracted to something.. even if you are that thing. You're a man, you want to date women.. is that hypocritical? There's plenty of big girls that like and date big guys.. stop crying over the few who don't.. christ.



Because it needs to be repeated...


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## mossystate (Mar 31, 2010)

swedishiron said:


> It IS HYPOCRITICAL when you as BBW want people to accept who you are despite your size which distinguishes (the most) YET you won't show the same acceptance for a male JUST BECAUSE OF HIS SIZE. When you state you WON'T DATE "FATTIES" as you will OFTEN found stated in the dating profiles of BBW - DAMN RIGHT THEY ARE HYPOCRITES.



No..................


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## PunkPeach (Mar 31, 2010)

I tend find something I love about everyone's body, I think the human body is beautiful. When it comes to men the things that catch my eyes first, the smile, eyes, and hands have absolutely nothing to do with how big his jeans are. That being said I tend to end up with extremes, my guys always tend to be either uber skinny or have a belly that can be loved on for days, not so many in between, not on purpose, just the way it tends to be.


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## Tau (Mar 31, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> There's a difference between accepting someone and being physically attracted to them. There is nothing hypocritical about not being attracted to something.. even if you are that thing. You're a man, you want to date women.. is that hypocritical? There's plenty of big girls that like and date big guys.. stop crying over the few who don't.. christ.



So bears repeating - WHAT SHE SAID!!!


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## Tau (Mar 31, 2010)

Seventy-Seven said:


> Nothing with that.
> 
> However, what I DO find immensely hypocritical is the mentality that "women are meant for childbirth, so they just naturally carry fat better. Men, on the other hand, are SUPPOSED to be fit." Total bullshit, and it bugs me to no end.



People say a lot of stupid things to justify attraction. The thing is though attraction should never have to be justified. You like what you like and thats it. Sure there may be some pretty messed up, long buried, subconscious reasons why you like what you like but digging them up and analysing them and mocking them and calling them hypocritical :doh: won't change what your body and mind react to and find attractive.

I think its about how people phrase, word, contextualise what they find attractive. I can't stand, for instance, men who say things like: Pear shaped women are better than apple shaped women. That pisses me off cos I'm an apple and it hurts my feelings. I also can't stand people who say: Race X of woman is better than Y because blahblahblah. I'm not asking you to stop liking what you like. To demand that somebody stop finding something attractive is just stupidity because it won't work - what I do demand is that you speak about your preference in relation to me in a respectful manner otherwise best believe you will hear about it and it won't be pretty. If you can't then do it where I can't hear.


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## bigmac (Mar 31, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> There's a difference between accepting someone and being physically attracted to them. There is nothing hypocritical about not being attracted to something.. even if you are that thing. You're a man, you want to date women.. is that hypocritical? There's plenty of big girls that like and date big guys.. stop crying over the few who don't.. christ.



I agree. However, the unfortunate reality is that there are a lot of large women who don't accept large men. I fluctuate between large and muscular and just large (depending upon how much time I have to workout) -- during my leaner phases I've been party to many (and I do mean many) conversations where fat girls have disrespected and disparaged fat guys in every imaginable way -- and this was at BBW events that are supposed to be safe places for fat people. Are these ladies (and I'm using the term loosely) hypocrites -- I say yes.


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## LovelyLiz (Mar 31, 2010)

Tau said:


> SNIPPED
> I think *its about how people phrase, word, contextualise what they find attractive.* I can't stand, for instance, men who say things like: Pear shaped women are better than apple shaped women. That pisses me off cos I'm an apple and it hurts my feelings. I also can't stand people who say: Race X of woman is better than Y because blahblahblah. I'm not asking you to stop liking what you like. To demand that somebody stop finding something attractive is just stupidity because it won't work - what I do demand is that you *speak about your preference in relation to me in a respectful manner* otherwise best believe you will hear about it and it won't be pretty. If you can't then do it where I can't hear.



YES. (Tau, you are so awesome, btw.) When people speak in disrespectful generalities like, "Women/men with big bellies are just not sexy" they're making this objective assessment of sexiness for everyone. It's sloppy language, since it's almost never objectively true (most characteristics have some people who find them sexy). It's much different to say, "I tend to be attracted to women/men with flatter stomachs" than "Fat stomachs are hideous." Does it go without saying that someone is stating their opinion? Sort of. But I think it's still just respectful to make it clear that you are not excluding someone from the definition of "sexy" or "beautiful" in the way you talk about those categories.



bigmac said:


> I agree. However, the unfortunate reality is that there are a lot of large women who don't accept large men. I fluctuate between large and muscular and just large (depending upon how much time I have to workout) -- during my leaner phases I've been party to many (and I do mean many) conversations where fat girls have disrespected and disparaged fat guys in every imaginable way -- and this was at BBW events that are supposed to be safe places for fat people. Are these ladies (and I'm using the term loosely) hypocrites -- I say yes.



I'm not sure what you mean by "don't accept" large men. I don't think fat women are under any obligation to _date_ or _be attracted to_ fat men, but I completely agree that we certainly owe them general human kindess - and absolutely not to "disrespect and disparage" them. And it does seem to me that all people are better off when they can see the beauty in every type of human body out there (not that they have to want to have sex with every body, but to see the beauty in it is a good thing).

Especially since almost all fat women know what it's like to be disparaged and disrespected on the basis of our looks, it does seem somewhat hypocritical to treat others that way. In my own journey, as I have become more comfortable in my own skin and have learned to see the beauty in myself, it has given me a much broader perspective of what qualifies as beautiful in others. I don't really have any firm physical preferences in terms of dating or attraction. I have no problem with people who do, as long as like Tau said, they express that in a way that still acknowledges that people who may not fit their preference can still possess beauty in their own way.


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## thatgirl08 (Mar 31, 2010)

bigmac said:


> I agree. However, the unfortunate reality is that there are a lot of large women who don't accept large men. I fluctuate between large and muscular and just large (depending upon how much time I have to workout) -- during my leaner phases I've been party to many (and I do mean many) conversations where fat girls have disrespected and disparaged fat guys in every imaginable way -- and this was at BBW events that are supposed to be safe places for fat people. Are these ladies (and I'm using the term loosely) hypocrites -- I say yes.



I've never been to a bash but I find it really hard to believe that the majority of BBWs are sitting around saying disrespectful things about fat men. I think too often people confuse "not interested" as being disrespectful but no one is under any obligation to be attracted to something or someone. I'd also like to point out that in "real life" it seems to be quite the opposite, with many fat people dating other fat people and while this may not be due to explicit attraction, it's pretty common. Lastly, if you look up thread there's a few guys saying they prefer or are also interested in thinner women. Notice no one called them hypocrites.


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## Jes (Mar 31, 2010)

Christ, are we still bickering over this? Where's William when you need him?*
Maybe next, Dims can debate something original like: Mac v. PC, or Coke v. Pepsi!

*and yes, I know where he is.


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## Tau (Mar 31, 2010)

Jes said:


> Christ, are we still bickering over this? Where's William when you need him?*
> Maybe next, Dims can debate something original like: Mac v. PC, or Coke v. Pepsi!
> 
> *and yes, I know where he is.



I LOL'd!! 

And thank you mcbeth


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## stldpn (Mar 31, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> I've never been to a bash but I find it really hard to believe that the majority of BBWs are sitting around saying disrespectful things about fat men. I think too often people confuse "not interested" as being disrespectful but no one is under any obligation to be attracted to something or someone. I'd also like to point out that in "real life" it seems to be quite the opposite, with many fat people dating other fat people and while this may not be due to explicit attraction, it's pretty common. Lastly, if you look up thread there's a few guys saying they prefer or are also interested in thinner women. Notice no one called them hypocrites.



Yeah I'm just going to say that whether you believe it or not... it does happen. I don't think it's the not interested that people would call disrespectful. I wouldn't say that the majority of the ladies who are doing it even realize that what they're doing and saying about a guy is unkind to say the least. That added to the fact that these women seem to be well insulated among a group of ladies that also pretends to be clueless about the fact that whether you're "interested" or not the whole point of most gatherings is to socialize in a positive way.

Whether it's a bash or a dance, common sense party etiquette applies. Inclusive environments (Like large Event Coordinated parties) foster introductions that don't have to be romantic, just because you're not hot for someone doesn't mean you have the right to shut them down rudely when they come to you trying to introduce themselves. If you consider it rude for a guy to knock you down as we make a beeline for a smaller girl, it is just as rude to do the same thing to us. I have to say, party manners really are a sore spot for me, the poor party manners of a few, tolerated by the majority without question have biased me toward all organizations that claim to bring the fat community together.


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## superodalisque (Mar 31, 2010)

i'm attracted to guys of various sizes. they all have something special about thier bodies to like. but more than size or shape its the personality the confidence the character the intellect the style etc... that i love. special reference for big guys: they feel wonderful and warm and make you feel enveloped by sensuality and the pressure of their bodies is just luscious!


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## bigmac (Mar 31, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> I've never been to a bash but I find it really hard to believe that the majority of BBWs are sitting around saying disrespectful things about fat men. I think too often people confuse "not interested" as being disrespectful but no one is under any obligation to be attracted to something or someone. I'd also like to point out that in "real life" it seems to be quite the opposite, with many fat people dating other fat people and while this may not be due to explicit attraction, it's pretty common. Lastly, if you look up thread there's a few guys saying they prefer or are also interested in thinner women. Notice no one called them hypocrites.



Not interested great -- but sitting around making jokes about how they could never go out with a guy who couldn't find his you know what or making jokes about how a guy at the bar is as wide as he is tall -- that's just not right.

It seems that some BBWs (a minority) become queen bees at BBW events and act as mean and nasty as thin queen bees are apt to act.

FYI -- the above insults were uttered by BBWs at events in the San Francisco Bay area.


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## Carrie (Mar 31, 2010)

bigmac said:


> Not interested great -- but sitting around making jokes about how they could never go out with a guy who couldn't find his you know what or making jokes about how a guy at the bar is as wide as he is tall -- that's just not right.
> 
> *It seems that some BBWs (a minority) become queen bees at BBW events and act as mean and nasty as thin queen bees are apt to act.*


And this surprises you...why? We're people. Some of us are nice, some of us are less nice, some of us are jerks. Just like - you guessed it - thin people! It seems like you're holding fat women to a different standard of behavior than thin women, which is neither fair or reasonable, and is also what the OP seems to be doing in his original post. 

Speaking of which, let's recap, because I think you're reading a lot of subtext into it that just isn't there. 


swedishiron said:


> Once again I will say it; check out the singles listing for MOST BBWs (example FantasyFeeder site) and they only want THIN/physically fit men - what HYPOCRITES!


I *get* that it's hypocritical for a fat woman to physically *criticize* fat men because of their fat, I do. But he doesn't say anything about that, does he? Just that having the attraction itself is hypocritical. So I say again, if a thin man isn't a hypocrite for finding fat women attractive, why on earth would the reverse equal hypocrisy? None of the "explanations" I've heard so far have made a bit of sense to me.


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## AnnMarie (Mar 31, 2010)

swedishiron said:


> *It IS HYPOCRITICAL when you as BBW want people to accept who you are despite your size *which distinguishes (the most) YET you won't show the same acceptance for a male JUST BECAUSE OF HIS SIZE. When you state you WON'T DATE "FATTIES" as you will OFTEN found stated in the dating profiles of BBW - DAMN RIGHT THEY ARE HYPOCRITES.




What about fat women WHO DON'T WANT TO BE ACCEPTED DESPITE THEIR SIZE, BUT WITH THEIR SIZE FULLY INCLUDED WITH ALL THE REST OF THEM??? IS IT OK THAT THEY HAVE OPINIONS ABOUT WHO THEY FIND ATTRACTIVE?

ARE THEY HIPPO-CRITS TOOO???


Just checking.


And I would like a link to that personal ad, or any of the many you reference - you know the ones where the women say "won't date FATTIES". It didn't happen without a screenshot. And if the ad was created any moment after this second, it doesn't count - you scamp.

kthnxbai.



*emphasis in quote added*


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## thatgirl08 (Mar 31, 2010)

Obviously saying mean shit about other fat people is .. uh mean. Surprised? Anyone? This thread isn't about that.. it's about what you find attractive. Maybe you guys need to reread the OP.


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## DitzyBrunette (Mar 31, 2010)

Back on topic...
I'm attracted to men built like Kevin James and Seth Rogen. Chunky guys. I've never been attracted to very large men. I am not attracted to really thin men. I like big arms, broad shoulders, and tall. Big does not necessarily mean really muscular. Just big and solid. I also think a 6 pack is a turn off and I will NEVER cuddle a man with a 6 pack stomach. I want him to have a soft stomach to lay on, cuddle and stroke when we're lying together.


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## thatgirl08 (Mar 31, 2010)

oh my god Seth Rogen <3<3<3 forever.


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## DitzyBrunette (Mar 31, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> oh my god Seth Rogen <3<3<3 forever.



Yesss... I saw The 40 Year Old Virgin in the theater the day it came out and I immediately went "Oh WOW, who is HE?!" when he came onscreen. I've followed his career ever since. He's gorgeous.


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## thatgirl08 (Mar 31, 2010)

DitzyBrunette said:


> Yesss... I saw The 40 Year Old Virgin in the theater the day it came out and I immediately went "Oh WOW, who is HE?!" when he came onscreen. I've followed his career ever since. He's gorgeous.



Absolutely.. I loved his character in Knocked Up<3.


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## Micara (Mar 31, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> oh my god Seth Rogen <3<3<3 forever.



Ditto on Seth Rogen!!! YUMMY!!! :smitten:

I like all different kinds of guys, as long as they're nerdy.


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## iwasneveranormalgirl (Mar 31, 2010)

aahhh Seth Rogen is without doubt AMAZING 

I'd say it really depends! I'm attracted to all body types and I have definitely found some VERY sexy big men!


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## DitzyBrunette (Mar 31, 2010)

Micara said:


> I like all different kinds of guys, as long as they're nerdy.



Give me a smart man in glasses any day of the week!


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## Littleghost (Apr 1, 2010)

Jes said:


> Christ, are we still bickering over this? Where's William when you need him?*
> Maybe next, Dims can debate something original like: Mac v. PC, or Coke v. Pepsi!
> 
> *and yes, I know where he is.



Mac totally beats Pepsi. I can't word process on a 6-pack for crap.


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## bigmac (Apr 1, 2010)

Carrie said:


> And this surprises you...why? We're people. Some of us are nice, some of us are less nice, some of us are jerks. Just like - you guessed it - thin people! It seems like you're holding fat women to a different standard of behavior than thin women, which is neither fair or reasonable, and is also what the OP seems to be doing in his original post.



Of course some fat folks are jerks -- that's to be expected. But if you seek the benefits of BBW events and then turn around and slam other fat people you're not only a jerk you're a hypocrite too.

BBW events give plus size ladies a place were they can wear what they want and strut their stuff without fear of ridicule -- BBWs go to events (a least in part) because of the size friendliness -- events are places were they feel safe. In return for these benefits I don't think its too much to ask that they refrain from slamming other fat people at events. Its not a higher standard -- its just common sense. If your not prepared to size friendly stay home.


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## stldpn (Apr 1, 2010)

bigmac said:


> Of course some fat folks are jerks -- that's to be expected. But if you seek the benefits of BBW events and then turn around and slam other fat people you're not only a jerk you're a hypocrite too.
> 
> BBW events give plus size ladies a place were they can wear what they want and strut their stuff without fear of ridicule -- BBWs go to events (a least in part) because of the size friendliness -- events are places were they feel safe. In return for these benefits I don't think its too much to ask that they refrain from slamming other fat people at events. Its not a higher standard -- its just common sense. If your not prepared to size friendly stay home.



Yes but you're forgetting the one essential issue Mac. These events despite being advertised as size friendly events always end up revolving around the BBW and the FAs therefore ( as I've been reminded so many times) they can be as nasty as they want to BHMs because the events are "not about" them.


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## LovelyLiz (Apr 1, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Yes but you're forgetting the one essential issue Mac. These events despite being advertised as size friendly events always end up revolving around the BBW and the FAs therefore ( as I've been reminded so many times) they can be as nasty as they want to BHMs because the events are "not about" them.



Am I missing something? Because there are plenty of BHMs who are FAs. Or, to put it in non-super-acronymy-lingo: plenty of fat guys like fat women, so they are absolutely in the target demographic of the event... Eh?


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## stldpn (Apr 1, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Am I missing something? Because there are plenty of BHMs who are FAs. Or, to put it in non-super-acronymy-lingo: plenty of fat guys like fat women, so they are absolutely in the target demographic of the event... Eh?



Maybe you have missed something, advertising a space/event as size friendly ie Big People's dances etc etc. People get the strange idea that the event is community oriented and doesn't necessarily REVOLVE around the BBWs and their little subset. I support the right of BBWs to have events and spaces that are their own. But if you put it out there as size friendly, you're attempting to attract a wider audience and you've gone ahead and implied that BHM and FFAs will be welcome. "Or, to put it in non-super-acronymy-lingo:" you've rolled out the red carpet for *Everyone* not just BBW and their admirers. 

Think of it this way, you see an event advertised as Size Friendly and even though you may not really dig heavily on big guys you decide to go because it seems like it should be a good place to meet people in a comfortable environment. You show up and find that the event has mostly been marketed to FFAs and BHMs. But in the corner there's a contingent of people who make you feel uncomfortable by mocking you quietly but obviously from across the room. Nobody else seems to hear them, especially not the event coordinator that just collected your money. You attempt to socialize anyway(after all you drove an hour to get here). You pick a decent looking Big guy with an interesting shirt. You approach him and say something like, "I couldn't help but notice your shirt, what are those inkblots?"And at that point, the guy informs you that he got it from "ebay" and he's doesn't "dig" big girls. He knows absolutely nothing about you, but because you aren't his physical ideal you aren't worth speaking to. You spend the rest of your time there milling about trying not to feel embarrassed but being very mindful of the fact that all you have to do to get shot down with some of these people is compliment their outfit. Would you consider that a discouraging experience? Especially for someone who may already be a little shy and introverted due to size? Well, I've just described a reverse role adaptation of what I've experienced myself and heard from other Big Guys in other BHM groups as a "typical" experience for a large BHM.

For my money, sometimes big girls miss a lot, mostly because they're too set in some ridiculous romantic physical preference that magically gives them the right to be just as discourteous to BHMs as the rest of the world. Big guys get two choices play the game and pretend that nothing is wrong, or leave. I'm not claiming guys don't engage in rude behavior too. But as a community, I think we should be doing A LOT better than that.


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## mossystate (Apr 1, 2010)

I admit I have not read everything in this thread. There is not enough Grey Goose on the planet. 

Are there throngs of fat women sneering and snarling at fat men at the ' events ' ? I mean, if there are individuals who are being jerks, isn't that just...life? 

Now, if the planners of bashes...etc...see and hear ugliness and they do nothing to step in, then yeah, not cool. I am thinking some folks are just pissed...royally...at those who have a simple preference. I am not seeing annnnnybody giving the thumbs-up to rudeness.

You have the right to be upset and vocalize that upset to people who are there in part to make sure respect is shown...but you ain't guaranteed a fawning chicken in your pot. Piss and moan at those in charge of allowing such rampant fugly. Oh, and, get the word out yourself. Fact is, a majority of these events ARE geared towards fat women and ' fa's ' ( small or large ). Until more of the other groups and subsets are strutting through the doors, nothing is gonna change, and you will continue getting pissed off that Susie over there is being a jerk.


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## stldpn (Apr 1, 2010)

mossystate said:


> Are there throngs of fat women sneering and snarling at fat men at the ' events ' ? I mean, if there are individuals who are being jerks, isn't that just...life?
> 
> You have the right to be upset and vocalize that upset to people who are there in part to make sure respect is shown...but you ain't guaranteed a fawning chicken in your pot. Piss and moan at those in charge of allowing such rampant fugly. Oh, and, get the word out yourself. Fact is, a majority of these events ARE geared towards fat women and ' fa's ' ( small or large ). Until more of the other groups and subsets are strutting through the doors, nothing is gonna change, and you will continue getting pissed off that Susie over there is being a jerk.




I can only say that for me it's less the selected "jerks" and more the silent acceptance of rude behavior by "everyone else" that keeps me away from the events. 

I used to go to bear events, and they're one of my only barometers for this sort of thing. Sniping wasn't encouraged or justified by the majority of that community. It simply struck me as a shame that it was so easily tolerated at the "big dances" I attended, because "attraction and preference" factored so little into who would dance with me/talk to me at those events. fat/thin/muscular/hirsute/hairless/even female there were plenty of hookups going on, but having fun in a warm environment was the real goal.


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## Weirdo890 (Apr 1, 2010)

I LOVE fat on the opposite sex. That's primarily why I'm here. I like talking with and talking about issues pertaining to the type of women I'm attracted to. I love the sense of community here. :happy:


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## superodalisque (Apr 1, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I can only say that for me it's less the selected "jerks" and more the silent acceptance of rude behavior by "everyone else" that keeps me away from the events.
> 
> I used to go to bear events, and they're one of my only barometers for this sort of thing. Sniping wasn't encouraged or justified by the majority of that community. It simply struck me as a shame that it was so easily tolerated at the "big dances" I attended, because "attraction and preference" factored so little into who would dance with me/talk to me at those events. fat/thin/muscular/hirsute/hairless/even female there were plenty of hookups going on, but having fun in a warm environment was the real goal.



i couldn't agree with you more. i've seen lot of people be down right rude to big guys. you'd think even if they weren't attracted at least they'd recognize a friend or a potential comrade in arms. until people adjust thier behavior folks are going to continue to feel unwelcomed. i have to say though that the events that have a lot of dims members are a lot better. people are much more sensitive and aware. you should try some of those. but please don't stay at home. you need to give people a chance to know you.

PS: i know we often disagree reolitics but i promise not to stab you if i cyu in person


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## Carrie (Apr 1, 2010)

bigmac said:


> Of course some fat folks are jerks -- that's to be expected. But if you seek the benefits of BBW events and then turn around and slam other fat people you're not only a jerk you're a hypocrite too.
> 
> BBW events give plus size ladies a place were they can wear what they want and strut their stuff without fear of ridicule -- BBWs go to events (a least in part) because of the size friendliness -- events are places were they feel safe. In return for these benefits I don't think its too much to ask that they refrain from slamming other fat people at events. Its not a higher standard -- its just common sense. If your not prepared to size friendly stay home.


We're pretty clearly talking about two different things here: the right for everyone to be attracted to whomever they're attracted to, and the a-holes who express that preference in a negative, hateful way. The difference between "I am attracted to thin men" vs. "I am attracted to thin men, and ewww, fat guys are gross." Like Mossy said, I don't see anyone defending the latter here. We are simply objecting to the ridiculous blanket statement the OP originally made, that fat women who are attracted to thin men are hypocrites. That's all he said in his post. Not that fat women who say derogatory things about fat men are hypocrites. See how that's two very different things?


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## stldpn (Apr 2, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> i couldn't agree with you more. i've seen lot of people be down right rude to big guys. you'd think even if they weren't attracted at least they'd recognize a friend or a potential comrade in arms. until people adjust thier behavior folks are going to continue to feel unwelcomed. i have to say though that the events that have a lot of dims members are a lot better. people are much more sensitive and aware. you should try some of those. but please don't stay at home. you need to give people a chance to know you.
> 
> PS: i know we often disagree re : politics but i promise not to stab you if i cyu in person



stab me? who's planning to stab me? now you've got me paranoid 

honestly, I always find it interesting that when this issue crops up there are always a few people here who would rather rep me privately rather than share their experiences and chance pissing off someone who is obviously operating out of the mindset that BHMs who raise the issue are just a whiny minority who never shut up. I'm guessing some of them are still playing the game.


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## bigmac (Apr 3, 2010)

Carrie said:


> We're pretty clearly talking about two different things here: the right for everyone to be attracted to whomever they're attracted to, and the a-holes who express that preference in a negative, hateful way. The difference between "I am attracted to thin men" vs. "I am attracted to thin men, and ewww, fat guys are gross." Like Mossy said, I don't see anyone defending the latter here. We are simply objecting to the ridiculous blanket statement the OP originally made, that fat women who are attracted to thin men are hypocrites. That's all he said in his post. Not that fat women who say derogatory things about fat men are hypocrites. See how that's two very different things?



Of course people have the right to be attracted to whomever they like. Just don't bitch about outcome if you make imprudent choices.

I like to analogize finding a mate with buying a car. In both cases you'll have a multiplicity of choices within your price range. For example if you have 15k to spend you can buy a shiny new entry level car, or you can buy a very nice midsized car that's only a year or two old, or you can buy a more used giant SUV or 4X4 with a six inch lift and monster off-road tires, or an even more used exotic sports car. The choice is yours -- you can spend your 15k any way you want -- but just don't complain that your 4X4 gets crappy mileage, or that your exotic sports car is unreliable and cost a fortune to fix. You make a choice live with the trade offs.

Likewise, everyone has a certain amount of romantic capital with which to procure a mate (a good looking doctor obviously has more romantic capital than a guy who sleeps under the freeway). If you choose to passover the reliable, hard working but balding 40 year old accountant or the nice but potbellied 45 year old electrician for a 25 year old playboy type bar tender with washboard abs don't be surprised when he cheats, doesn't pay his share of the rent, or otherwise misbehaves. After all you chose him for his looks not his reliability.


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## stldpn (Apr 3, 2010)

bigmac said:


> If you choose to passover the reliable, hard working but balding 40 year old accountant or the nice but potbellied 45 year old electrician for a 25 year old playboy type bar tender with washboard abs don't be surprised when he cheats, doesn't pay his share of the rent, or otherwise misbehaves. After all you chose him for his looks not his reliability.



I can second that emotion. It's no coincidence that men and women joke that only older well off fat guys have big Dicks. They all want the model type, cute, well-hung, the right amount of hair in the right amount of places, muscular but more importantly thin,and most importantly a self made millionaire. There is a reason that Wozniak, Jobs, and Markkula invested time and money into something that would make their nerdiness a ticket to the millionaires club. And yes I capitalized it on purpose.


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## Ruby Ripples (Apr 3, 2010)

any chance the waambulance could take away the whiners and get this thread back ON TOPIC!


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## AnnMarie (Apr 3, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I can second that emotion. It's no coincidence that men and women joke that only older well off fat guys have big Dicks. They all want the model type, cute, well-hung, the right amount of hair in the right amount of places, muscular but more importantly thin,and most importantly a self made millionaire. There is a reason that Wozniak, Jobs, and Markkula invested time and money into something that would make their nerdiness a ticket to the millionaires club. And yes I capitalized it on purpose.



Gee, that explains the piss poor, slightly doughy, gangly guys I've dated. They actually even appeared to be nice, supportive, loving, caring people. 

Believe it or not, some of us actually find/pick partners based on a host of issues, but physical attraction may be included there and there is nothing wrong with that.


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## mossystate (Apr 3, 2010)

Wow, Holy Personal Issues.

Just in time for Easter.

Ruby, stop chatting up all those hot young men and let them get back to driving that waambulance. Sheesh.


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## stldpn (Apr 3, 2010)

What can I say it feels good to be the whiny one every great once in a while.


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## mossystate (Apr 3, 2010)

Heh. Except there is this little thing called, " previous posts ", where we all can keep tabs on one another.


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## stldpn (Apr 3, 2010)

mossystate said:


> Heh. Except there is this little thing called, " previous posts ", where we all can keep tabs on one another.



Which is why you're always the snarky one, until you feel like someone's been unfair to something you care about.


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## thatgirl08 (Apr 3, 2010)

Is it your fatness or the big flaming pile of shit that is your attitude about women and what they want that turns women off? Not sure.


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## mossystate (Apr 3, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Which is why you're always the snarky one, until you feel like someone's been unfair to something you care about.



Dude, where have I said or implied that I LOVE fat men being harmed in any way? Gee, seems I actually said fat boys deserve lots of respect, like any human being.

You are actually not really caring about the general treatment of fat men. You are angry that you are not personally getting whatever you want. That's called life...again.


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## stldpn (Apr 3, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> Is it your fatness or the big flaming pile of shit that is your attitude about women and what they want that turns women off? Not sure.



At least I'm honest with myself about it. Women are often the enemy. No matter how much I love them. I've never hurt a lady, but I don't always get that level of concern returned for my feelings. And yes that's a personal issue but it really isn't one I dwell too hard on,at least until someone is insistent that I should pretend I don't have feelings on a subject.


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## thatgirl08 (Apr 3, 2010)

That can't even be a real post.


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## stldpn (Apr 3, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> That can't even be a real post.



why not?


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## thatgirl08 (Apr 3, 2010)

"Women are the enemy."


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## stldpn (Apr 3, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> "Women are the enemy."


 What it's not okay for me to quote Jerry Maguire even if I feel like it?


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## bigmac (Apr 3, 2010)

Ruby Ripples said:


> any chance the waambulance could take away the whiners and get this thread back ON TOPIC!



Whose whining -- just stating some observations. Personally, I'm happily married -- she's in the kitchen cooking dinner right now (and she's pregnant too).

And since when did we ever stay on topic.


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## disaster117 (Apr 3, 2010)

I couldn't decide whether to vote for the 'kind of' choice or the 'maybe on certain people' one, but ultimately I voted for the latter. I like fat girls a lot more than fat guys...but I'm generally more interested in dating men, and I definitely prefer average-ish men, so I decided to vote for 'not generally'.


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## DitzyBrunette (Apr 4, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> Is it your fatness or the big flaming pile of shit that is your attitude about women and what they want that turns women off? Not sure.



If I was gay, you'd be my first pick. :wubu:


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## LoveBHMS (Apr 4, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I can second that emotion. It's no coincidence that men and women joke that only older well off fat guys have big Dicks. They all want the model type, cute, well-hung, the right amount of hair in the right amount of places, muscular but more importantly thin,and most importantly a self made millionaire. There is a reason that Wozniak, Jobs, and Markkula invested time and money into something that would make their nerdiness a ticket to the millionaires club. And yes I capitalized it on purpose.



This just infuriates me. This whole line of thinking that there are all these wonderful men who get ignored by women simply because they're "too nice". The fuck. First off, there are dozens of posts about MEN going to bashes and ignoring throngs of nice BBW and SSBBW and trying to hook up with only paysite girls. No way is it just women who do this. 

Secondly it never ceases to amaze me how women are just expected to shower love and attention on men just because they're "nice". i am not even sure what "nice" means but i've found by and large it equates with a guy being not particularly attractive, outgoing, or interesting but being "nice". Oftentimes these "nice" guys either aren't actually nice (I've personally been hit on by not one, but TWO men who were engaged and lied about it and told me that 'women don't like nice guys'....as if cheating on your fiancee places you in the nice category) or they have other objectionable qualities that turn women off.

Why are females supposed to simply overlook the fact that they might not be attracted to somebody and be with them because the fact of their being "nice" somehow give us this imperative?



> If you choose to passover the reliable, hard working but balding 40 year old accountant or the nice but potbellied 45 year old electrician for a 25 year old playboy type bar tender with washboard abs don't be surprised when he cheats, doesn't pay his share of the rent, or otherwise misbehaves. After all you chose him for his looks not his reliability.



And this? Why is it that every man who is boring or not conventionally attractive automatically gets tagged as nice? Or that somebody who is conventionally attractive has to get tagged as probably dumb, unreliable, and a cheater? Sure choosing somebody only for looks isn't a good idea but neither is assuming that the "balding accountant" is going to be such a great catch.


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## wrestlingguy (Apr 4, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Maybe you have missed something, advertising a space/event as size friendly ie Big People's dances etc etc. People get the strange idea that the event is community oriented and doesn't necessarily REVOLVE around the BBWs and their little subset. I support the right of BBWs to have events and spaces that are their own. But if you put it out there as size friendly, you're attempting to attract a wider audience and you've gone ahead and implied that BHM and FFAs will be welcome. "Or, to put it in non-super-acronymy-lingo:" you've rolled out the red carpet for *Everyone* not just BBW and their admirers.
> 
> Think of it this way, you see an event advertised as Size Friendly and even though you may not really dig heavily on big guys you decide to go because it seems like it should be a good place to meet people in a comfortable environment. You show up and find that the event has mostly been marketed to FFAs and BHMs. But in the corner there's a contingent of people who make you feel uncomfortable by mocking you quietly but obviously from across the room. Nobody else seems to hear them, especially not the event coordinator that just collected your money. You attempt to socialize anyway(after all you drove an hour to get here). You pick a decent looking Big guy with an interesting shirt. You approach him and say something like, "I couldn't help but notice your shirt, what are those inkblots?"And at that point, the guy informs you that he got it from "ebay" and he's doesn't "dig" big girls. He knows absolutely nothing about you, but because you aren't his physical ideal you aren't worth speaking to. You spend the rest of your time there milling about trying not to feel embarrassed but being very mindful of the fact that all you have to do to get shot down with some of these people is compliment their outfit. Would you consider that a discouraging experience? Especially for someone who may already be a little shy and introverted due to size? Well, I've just described a reverse role adaptation of what I've experienced myself and heard from other Big Guys in other BHM groups as a "typical" experience for a large BHM.
> 
> For my money, sometimes big girls miss a lot, mostly because they're too set in some ridiculous romantic physical preference that magically gives them the right to be just as discourteous to BHMs as the rest of the world. Big guys get two choices play the game and pretend that nothing is wrong, or leave. I'm not claiming guys don't engage in rude behavior too. But as a community, I think we should be doing A LOT better than that.



I had to look twice to see if this post was an April Fool's joke, because of the day it was posted.

I run the New Jersey Bash with my partner, Bernadette. Our events are listed as BBW/FA events on the internet, simply because our efforts are focused toward reaching the largest part of this community. While that is the case, we do market towards every part of our community, including the ones that Berna and I don't necessarily participate in, including BHM's, feeders and feedees, etc. Your accusation that event coordinators don't want to hear about problems after they take your money is insulting to me, and I believe it's not founded on fact. 

In doing our marketing, we promote our event as size friendly, and it is. Ask anyone who attends our events. Look at our photos, and you'll see lots of big guys with big girls, big guys with thinner girls, thin guys with big women, and everything else in between.

As an event promoter, I can't account for the personal dynamic between people. We can't monitor every conversation to see if someone is the victim of "size unfriendliness". Has the possibility that your personal attitude may be affecting how you are received by the opposite sex occurred to you?

Let me give you a personal case in point. In running our events, I do a ton of worrying about making sure things run smoothly. My partner is just the opposite, she is cool, calm, and collected. Many people at our last event told me afterward that I looked angry, and therefore, unapproachable, even though some of these people find me very engaging here in the forums, or in chat. I never noticed it. Perhaps the same may be true of you, and women sense a chip on your shoulder because you've experienced rudeness on one or two occasions, and your sense of "they're making fun of me" is heightened, but in error.

I've attended "fat" events all over the US and Canada, and have seen some nastiness at all of them, including ours. Typically, however, it's based on a personal interaction completely unrelated to whether a person is fat or not.

For me, the idea of attending dances and bashes is to find social interaction, whether it's with the "community", for a sexual encounter, or a relationship. Some of my good friends go to events simply to hang out with their other friends, and have little interest in meeting someone of the opposite sex. That's not so wrong, is it? Perhaps a good way to start is to do the same, meet people that you've had friendly chat online with, and hang out with them. 

Brother, people get shot down at dances and events all the time. I'm old, bald, and don't look like I used to years ago. Yet, when I go to events held by others, I dance, talk, and have fun. During my single times, I've been shot down as well, but that's part of life, and has nothing to do with your fatness in general, just how your fatness relates to the person who shot you down. It's a numbers game. 

From author and speaker Tom Hopkins:



> *I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed: and the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I fail and keep trying.*


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 4, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> This just infuriates me. This whole line of thinking that there are all these wonderful men who get ignored by women simply because they're "too nice". The fuck. First off, there are dozens of posts about MEN going to bashes and ignoring throngs of nice BBW and SSBBW and trying to hook up with only paysite girls. No way is it just women who do this.
> 
> *Secondly it never ceases to amaze me how women are just expected to shower love and attention on men just because they're "nice". i am not even sure what "nice" means but i've found by and large it equates with a guy being not particularly attractive, outgoing, or interesting but being "nice". Oftentimes these "nice" guys either aren't actually nice (I've personally been hit on by not one, but TWO men who were engaged and lied about it and told me that 'women don't like nice guys'....as if cheating on your fiancee places you in the nice category) or they have other objectionable qualities that turn women off.*
> 
> ...



Lol, this....all of it. I tried to rep Loves for this one. She said it far better than I ever could. :bow:

I just got into an argument last week with STDLDODOOD over being bi-sizual. Seems us women are always going to be wrong unless we like exactly whatever flavor of the day a man tells us to. 

The assumption that "less than conventionally attractive" men are automatically grade-A prime choice when it comes to having a partner and the beefcakes HAVE to be assholes is absurd.

Neither of my ex-husbands were models....not by a stretch. They both knew how to mistreat me. I have been on dates with nice looking _gentlemen_- the looks really have no bearing on how a man will treat you. 

The guys in this thread telling women they are wrong not to date only XYZ men.....do they automatically go for the partner they don't find physically attractive? 

I'm willing to bet a lot of money that they don't.....


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## bigsexy920 (Apr 4, 2010)

The whole bash talk is off topic but stldpn. Have you been to a bash? 

Just curious, many people comment on what the bashes are and are not but never actually attend. I have said and always will say - a bash is what you make it. We provide the venue where you can use it as you wish, like Phil said. 

On topic, in general I like men that are not fat. However over the years of attending bashes and being here at dimensions Ive noticed that my eye has wandered. There have been certain larger men that I have found myself attracted to. 

I think the main hang up I had with big men is that big men remind me of family - father, brothers uncles cousins. All types of men that I dont look at in a sexual way. So yeah it has taken some time to see them in a differnt light.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 4, 2010)

bigmac said:


> I agree. *However, the unfortunate reality is that there are a lot of large women who don't accept large men.* I fluctuate between large and muscular and just large (depending upon how much time I have to workout) -- during my leaner phases I've been party to many (and I do mean many) conversations where fat girls have disrespected and disparaged fat guys in every imaginable way -- and this was at BBW events that are supposed to be safe places for fat people. Are these ladies (and I'm using the term loosely) hypocrites -- I say yes.



Ermmmmm....why did you leave out the part that there are a LOT of fat men that don't find BBW attractive?


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## disaster117 (Apr 4, 2010)

bigsexy920 said:


> On topic, in general I like men that are not fat. However over the years of attending bashes and being here at dimensions Ive noticed that my eye has wandered. There have been certain larger men that I have found myself attracted to.
> 
> I think the main hang up I had with big men is that big men remind me of family - father, brothers uncles cousins. All types of men that I dont look at in a sexual way. So yeah it has taken some time to see them in a differnt light.



I definitely can see where you're coming from. I have a couple family members like that as well, two of my uncles are pretty big guys and they're just like teddy bears to me now, and even since I was little, and big men do remind me of them. Interesting point, never thought about it that way.


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## bigmac (Apr 4, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Ermmmmm....why did you leave out the part that there are a LOT of fat men that don't find BBW attractive?



Because its irrelevant to this discussion -- fat guys who like thin girls don't often go to BBW events -- why should they if they're not looking for a BBW.

When fat guys go out to regular everyday bars, clubs, and events they're often subject to ridicule by a certain type of mean spirited thin girl. My original point was that its hypocritical for fat girls to engage in the same mean spirited behavior at BBW events given that they got to these events, at least in part, to avoid having such behavior directed at them. Seems fairly straight forward to me.


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## stldpn (Apr 4, 2010)

bigsexy920 said:


> The whole bash talk is off topic but stldpn. Have you been to a bash?



I would never claim my experience as extensive but Dimensions was not my first introduction to size friendly shenanigans.When I was doing my thing the first time around I was never aware of "bashes," I attended a little over a handful of dances in MA before I decided that they were in fact just a waste of time and money for a guy like me. Save the dancing shoes for holidays and weddings. I don't think (in fact I know) I never identified a bash advertised here as the source of my issues. Most of the ones shown here are at least straightforward enough to put BBW in the name. All the same, rolling stag at an event like that, prolly not something I'm going to jump on anytime soon.


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## stldpn (Apr 4, 2010)

wrestlingguy said:


> For me, the idea of attending dances and bashes is to find social interaction, whether it's with the "community", for a sexual encounter, or a relationship. Some of my good friends go to events simply to hang out with their other friends, and have little interest in meeting someone of the opposite sex. That's not so wrong, is it? Perhaps a good way to start is to do the same, meet people that you've had friendly chat online with, and hang out with them.
> 
> Brother, people get shot down at dances and events all the time. I'm old, bald, and don't look like I used to years ago. Yet, when I go to events held by others, I dance, talk, and have fun. During my single times, I've been shot down as well, but that's part of life, and has nothing to do with your fatness in general, just how your fatness relates to the person who shot you down. It's a numbers game.
> 
> From author and speaker Tom Hopkins:



Look Phil you can feel offended if you like. I took care to refer to my experiences as size friendly advertised events. Mine were almost exclusively referred to as BIG dances. The implication being that there was no previous understanding that I was a second class citizen at the event. And that, dear sir, has been my primary grievance. In my life I have spent most of my "cruising" time outside the size friendly scene and I met people without issue in all of the stereotypical ways. I'm a flirt and shockingly easygoing irl. I'm sure that more than once I've been shot down in the real world because someone had an issue with my weight. I've certainly felt unspoken pressure to lose the weight once I was in the relationship. But, even then, it took going to a dance to be told directly that my weight was the reason why my company was being refused. I never went to dance with the idea that I was going to score, I went because as I stated in my original mock up...



> it seems like it should be a good place to meet people in a comfortable environment



I found out differently. I was very perturbed to find out differently, as a point of fact. And since I've been vocal (pretty much ever since) about my impressions and experiences, I've realized that it's probably not just me who has the issue. And the consistent desire to paint me out as a whiny malcontent ever since, has only solidified my understanding of the fact that it's an issue that bbws will
Do you see why I'd rather just go to a bar now and not deal with the mindfuck involved in an event where I don't feel welcome despite the invitation?


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## stldpn (Apr 4, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Secondly it never ceases to amaze me how women are just expected to shower love and attention on men just because they're "nice". i am not even sure what "nice" means but i've found by and large it equates with a guy being not particularly attractive, outgoing, or interesting but being "nice". Oftentimes these "nice" guys either aren't actually nice (I've personally been hit on by not one, but TWO men who were engaged and lied about it and told me that 'women don't like nice guys'....as if cheating on your fiancee places you in the nice category) or they have other objectionable qualities that turn women off.
> 
> Why are females supposed to simply overlook the fact that they might not be attracted to somebody and be with them because the fact of their being "nice" somehow give us this imperative?
> 
> ...



Do you have to be attracted to talk to somebody? Do you have to be attracted to behave like a civilized human being? Apparently some people do. 

It sounds like it's difficult for you to "talk" to someone you wouldn't consider conventionally sexy. I'll vouch not all the good looking guys are bad men, not all the bores are princes, but talking is the only way that I know to find out. I have found that men who know they're in demand for their looks, generally aren't willing to share the really personal parts of themselves with someone they consider a prospective lay. I've also personally found that what mamma said is true. "So when you find Ms. Perfect, what in the hell is she going to want with you?" If you chase the world's idea of perfection, you probably would get an even match.


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## DitzyBrunette (Apr 4, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Lol, this....all of it. I tried to rep Loves for this one. She said it far better than I ever could. :bow:



I got her even before I saw you tried. I also agree with everything she said. 




> The assumption that "less than conventionally attractive" men are automatically grade-A prime choice when it comes to having a partner and the beefcakes HAVE to be assholes is absurd.



Also, if I see one more guy claim "All women want Brad Pitt!" I will scream. Some of us don't find his particular brand of douche to be attractive. 



> The guys in this thread telling women they are wrong not to date only XYZ men.....do they automatically go for the partner they don't find physically attractive?



I always find this on BBW sites - men get pissed off when women don't want to date just anything with a penis, they think we're not allowed to have a type. However, let's not forget why they are actually ON this site - they have a type, they want big women. They're allowed, we're not. Bullshit.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 4, 2010)

bigmac said:


> Because its irrelevant to this discussion -- fat guys who like thin girls don't often go to BBW events -- why should they if they're not looking for a BBW.
> 
> When fat guys go out to regular everyday bars, clubs, and events they're often subject to ridicule by a certain type of mean spirited thin girl. My original point was that its hypocritical for fat girls to engage in the same mean spirited behavior at BBW events given that they got to these events, at least in part, to avoid having such behavior directed at them. Seems fairly straight forward to me.



You're whole argument about bashes seems irrelevent to the entire thread, IMO. I see fat FFAs down on the BHM board feeling hurt/dissed quite a bit because those guys prefer those cute little FFAs. 
Don't those guys get to enjoy/have their preference? Why would you try to declare it any differently for a fat woman?
That's one hell of a double standard I'm smelling off your post. 



DitzyBrunette said:


> I always find this on BBW sites - men get pissed off when women don't want to date just anything with a penis, they think we're not allowed to have a type. However, let's not forget why they are actually ON this site - they have a type, they want big women. They're allowed, we're not. Bullshit.



What I find most annoying is the sense of entitlement I detect among some of them. They find a fat woman attractive.....but seem to have an attitude of doing her a huge favor for it or being a prince for wanting to fuck a fat woman. 
No one is a prince for wanting to fuck a thin woman. No one is a prince for wanting to fuck a fatty. 
Unless a guy thinks he is doing a fat woman a great honor to simply want to fuck her, she doesn't owe a man any great favors in return for that hard dick. 
We all get equal ground. Period.


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## thatgirl08 (Apr 4, 2010)

DitzyBrunette said:


> If I was gay, you'd be my first pick. :wubu:



lolllll thanks


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## bigsexy920 (Apr 4, 2010)

I'm sorry that the parties didnt go well for you in MA. I have to say that was the first place that I began to notice BHM's in a differnt light. I liked seeing that the parties up there that I went to really had a very broad spectrum of people. 

I think you should try it again sometime. Try a bash I think they are more personal than just a dance. At a bash people spend time together all weekend and I think some - not all people connect on a more friendly plane rather than trying seek a connection in one night in a few hours time. You are a nice looking guy I'm surprised you would have an issue at all. 



stldpn said:


> I would never claim my experience as extensive but Dimensions was not my first introduction to size friendly shenanigans.When I was doing my thing the first time around I was never aware of "bashes," I attended a little over a handful of dances in MA before I decided that they were in fact just a waste of time and money for a guy like me. Save the dancing shoes for holidays and weddings. I don't think (in fact I know) I never identified a bash advertised here as the source of my issues. Most of the ones shown here are at least straightforward enough to put BBW in the name. All the same, rolling stag at an event like that, prolly not something I'm going to jump on anytime soon.


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## LoveBHMS (Apr 5, 2010)

> Do you have to be attracted to talk to somebody? Do you have to be attracted to behave like a civilized human being? Apparently some people do.



What? Of course not. Your attitude is really insulting. The only thing i can think of to say here is that if you're talking about bashes in particular, it makes sense to think that _some_ attendees to go to those events looking for sex. If that is the case, they're probably not going to spend a lot of time talking to somebody whom they don't find sexually appealing. I'm not at all saying anybody should be impolite, but the bottom line is if they're looking to hook up and they know they are not attracted to fat guys, no, they're not going to spend a lot of time with you. The same way that men who only like SSBBW or BBW *are going to bashes in the first place, because they're attracted to fat women.*



> It sounds like it's difficult for you to "talk" to someone you wouldn't consider conventionally sexy. I'll vouch not all the good looking guys are bad men, not all the bores are princes, but talking is the only way that I know to find out. I have found that men who know they're in demand for their looks, generally aren't willing to share the really personal parts of themselves with someone they consider a prospective lay. I've also personally found that what mamma said is true. "So when you find Ms. Perfect, what in the hell is she going to want with you?"



Maybe your mom should have instilled some self confidence in you. Just a thought.



> If you chase the world's idea of perfection, you probably would get an even match.



I have to lol at this one. Ask all the FFA on this board if they're chasing "the world's" idea of perfection. I don't think we are. We're chasing our idea of perfection but we're also well aware that the guys we chase may not be interested. Some fat guys may only want fat women and lots of the FFA are thin. Some fat guys only want thin women and they're not going to be interested in the SSBBW or BBW. Some fat guys are gay and not going to hook up with ANY woman of any size. That's just how it is and this is a lesson most people learn when they're around 15.


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## superodalisque (Apr 5, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Do you have to be attracted to talk to somebody? Do you have to be attracted to behave like a civilized human being? Apparently some people do.



this is what i find disturbing, that guys are ignored and even treated in a hostile way sometimes just because some women may not be sexually attracted. and there are women who are rude etc... i've seen it with my own eyes. i agree that no one owes it to a man to be attracted to him. but does anyone really have to be attracted to be polite and treat him as they'd want to be treated. i mean when FAs point out who they are NOT attracted to and elaborate on why and ignore those outside of their preference a lot of BBWs get upset because it can be done in a rude and objectifying way that doesn't take the person into account. i think the same applies with BHMs. 

what i can't understand is why its not ok for FAs to do that to BBWs but it is ok for BBWs to treat someone else that way. i think the problem is there needs to be more emphasis on friendship and not just finding intimate partners by some of the folks at the bashes etc... i know a LOT of BHMs and most of them feel very uncomfortable and unwanted at bashes, so much so that they try a few times and then never come back. the numbers of BHM at any dances i've been to across the country always have been very small. i don't think they are all lying about how they feel or are crazy. and they are NOT all bad guys who deserve that treatment. instead of trying to find out why things are the way that thay are and fix that we tend to invalidate their experiences and tell them its all their fault. i'm sure we wouldn't want that done to us. the least people can do is listen.

these aren't the 1st BHMs who have mentioned this. most of the BHMs i know feel this way. so why can't we at least be more conscious of being supportive when we do see them even if its just as friends? wouldn't BBWs want the same? after all we have some long threads here where people go on and on about not being attracted to BHMs and why. i could never picture that being tolerated re:BBWs. just because someone is a man it doesn't mean he can't also share some of the same feelings that we have. i think it might be important not to let the negative experiences we might have dating etc... color all of the relatioships we have with men. we might be missing out on something special that could really enrich our lives. it might be nice to have all kinds of relationships with people who share our experiences , who we don't need to explain every issue to. i mean, don't BBWs often say that FAs who only talk to women they are attracted to are shallow. what does that make BBWs who do the same to BHMs? if its okay for us to do that then how can we demand another kind of behavior from FAs?


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## superodalisque (Apr 5, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> What? Of course not. Your attitude is really insulting. The only thing i can think of to say here is that if you're talking about bashes in particular, it makes sense to think that _some_ attendees to go to those events looking for sex. If that is the case, they're probably not going to spend a lot of time talking to somebody whom they don't find sexually appealing. I'm not at all saying anybody should be impolite, but the bottom line is if they're looking to hook up and they know they are not attracted to fat guys, no, they're not going to spend a lot of time with you. The same way that men who only like SSBBW or BBW *are going to bashes in the first place, because they're attracted to fat women.*
> 
> 
> 
> ...



i think it would be interesting if BBWs turned around what you say here and imagine if an FA were saying this to them. how would they feel about this attitude being launched at them. then imagine how a BHM must feel about being told that every social meeting is mainly about being a sex object for someone else and that who they are as a person has no place there. no one owes it to them to be civil and that they lack confidence because they feel slighted when someone is rude to them. there is no diffference in trying to top BBWs or BHMs. everyone needs to be able to voice their concerns. everyone needs to feel respected. being sexually attracted or not sexually attracted to someone isn't an excuse to treat them as though they aren't a human being without feelings.


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## stldpn (Apr 5, 2010)

DitzyBrunette said:


> I always find this on BBW sites - men get pissed off when women don't want to date just anything with a penis, they think we're not allowed to have a type. However, let's not forget why they are actually ON this site - they have a type, they want big women. They're allowed, we're not. Bullshit.



I've never gone anywhere with the explicit intention of getting laid. I know some people do. But, I'm not one of them. The insinuation that I and anyone else who complains about rudeness are just disappointed about not getting laid is a bit rude in and of itself. If a guy goes to a bar with the sole intention of getting laid it's fair to call him skeezy. If he approaches a chubby chick because he assumes it's a slam dunk he's infantile. But, by and large, I don't know any big guys that stupid. All I've ever heard big boys ask for is a little respect and a lot less condescension.


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## LoveBHMS (Apr 5, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> i think it would be interesting if BBWs turned around what you say here and imagine if an FA were saying this to them. how would they feel about this attitude being launched at them. then imagine how a BHM must feel about being told that every social meeting is mainly about being a sex object for someone else and that who they are as a person has no place there. no one owes it to them to be civil and that they lack confidence because they feel slighted when someone is rude to them. there is no diffference in trying to top BBWs or BHMs. everyone needs to be able to voice their concerns. everyone needs to feel respected. being sexually attracted or not sexually attracted to someone isn't an excuse to treat them as though they aren't a human being without feelings.



Are you serious? I NEVER said every social meeting was about being a sex object. What i said was (and you can go back and READ MY POST) that some bash attendees go with the aim of having a sexual encounter and that they will focus on those whom they find sexually appealing. I also never ever ever said it was ok to be rude or disrespectful.


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## stldpn (Apr 5, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Are you serious? I NEVER said every social meeting was about being a sex object. What i said was (and you can go back and READ MY POST) that some bash attendees go with the aim of having a sexual encounter and that they will focus on those whom they find sexually appealing. I also never ever ever said it was ok to be rude or disrespectful.



No one ever says it's OK to be rude and disrespectful. Mostly they just imply that the feelings of the person being disrespectful could be valid. Ie. 


> it never ceases to amaze me how women are just expected to shower love and attention on men just because they're "nice"


Cause it's ok to be rude if you're able to make an assumption about what someone else is thinking. assumptions also are apparently not rude at all.


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## stldpn (Apr 5, 2010)

bigsexy920 said:


> I'm sorry that the parties didnt go well for you in MA. I have to say that was the first place that I began to notice BHM's in a differnt light. I liked seeing that the parties up there that I went to really had a very broad spectrum of people.
> 
> I think you should try it again sometime. Try a bash I think they are more personal than just a dance. At a bash people spend time together all weekend and I think some - not all people connect on a more friendly plane rather than trying seek a connection in one night in a few hours time. You are a nice looking guy I'm surprised you would have an issue at all.



I think an event would be more of a consideration for me if I was attending it as a couple. But again, attending as a single guy, not something I'd be interested in, I can head downtown and find people who are a lot more into the idea of networking and being friendly.


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## bigmac (Apr 5, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> You're whole argument about bashes seems irrelevent to the entire thread, IMO. I see fat FFAs down on the BHM board feeling hurt/dissed quite a bit because those guys prefer those cute little FFAs.
> Don't those guys get to enjoy/have their preference? Why would you try to declare it any differently for a fat woman?
> That's one hell of a double standard I'm smelling off your post.



Damn, some people see double standards everywhere! Hey if a BHM is going to waste his life waiting for a FFA supermodel while ignoring real people he could actually have a relationship with he's an idiot. And if that BHM goes around talking smack about BBWs he's an asshole as well.

People are of course free to "enjoy their preference" -- just don't bitch if you find yourself old and alone. 

You would not believe how many times I've heard ladies say "I can't believe he did that to me" after she threw herself at a hot player and the hot player subsequently moved on (often the same night). If that's the kind of guy you want to hook up with knock yourself out -- just don't act surprised when things go to shit. 




Green Eyed Fairy said:


> What I find most annoying is the sense of entitlement I detect among some of them. They find a fat woman attractive.....but seem to have an attitude of doing her a huge favor for it or being a prince for wanting to fuck a fat woman.
> No one is a prince for wanting to fuck a thin woman. No one is a prince for wanting to fuck a fatty.
> Unless a guy thinks he is doing a fat woman a great honor to simply want to fuck her, she doesn't owe a man any great favors in return for that hard dick.
> We all get equal ground. Period.



Sense of entitlement? -- well if expecting to be treated civilly is entitled why yes. 

As for the rest of your comment -- WTF?


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 5, 2010)

bigmac said:


> Damn, some people see double standards everywhere! Hey if a BHM is going to waste his life waiting for a FFA supermodel while ignoring real people he could actually have a relationship with he's an idiot. And if that BHM goes around talking smack about BBWs he's an asshole as well.
> 
> People are of course free to "enjoy their preference" -- just don't bitch if you find yourself old and alone.
> 
> ...



Lol I may be getting old but I'm still not quite alone.  Thanks so much for your "well-meaning" advice but you really seem to talk down to people in your posts. Doesn't take you too far if you expect people to listen or take you seriously. 
Your assumptions about women in general are also quite insulting.

Sorry you have trouble understanding the rest of my post but then again it wasn't you I quoted.....seems like some of the ladies understand me even if you can't manage to get it. That's surprising though....since you like to talk about how blunt you are.....seems like my own post was pretty damn blunt and quite to the point. 

Drop that heavy baggage you carry. Women might talk to you or other men more at bashes if you don't seem so burdened by past bitterness. 

No one likes a bitter woman......it's the same thing for the menfolk.


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## bigmac (Apr 5, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> This just infuriates me. This whole line of thinking that there are all these wonderful men who get ignored by women simply because they're "too nice". The fuck. First off, there are dozens of posts about MEN going to bashes and ignoring throngs of nice BBW and SSBBW and trying to hook up with only paysite girls. No way is it just women who do this.



Who said it was just women -- I find the paysite groupies a rather strange bunch who are wasting their time chasing illusions while ignoring real word opportunities.




LoveBHMS said:


> Secondly it never ceases to amaze me how women are just expected to shower love and attention on men just because they're "nice". i am not even sure what "nice" means but i've found by and large it equates with a guy being not particularly attractive, outgoing, or interesting but being "nice".
> 
> Why are females supposed to simply overlook the fact that they might not be attracted to somebody and be with them because the fact of their being "nice" somehow give us this imperative?
> 
> And this? Why is it that every man who is boring or not conventionally attractive automatically gets tagged as nice? Or that somebody who is conventionally attractive has to get tagged as probably dumb, unreliable, and a cheater? Sure choosing somebody only for looks isn't a good idea but neither is assuming that the "balding accountant" is going to be such a great catch.



And I don't think I ever used the word nice -- if I did it was a mistake -- as I'll agree "nice" is often synonymous with boring. However, If you want to sleep with the cool, exciting, hot young guy go for it -- just don't delude yourself that he's going to carry you off the country and build you a beautiful house with a white picket fence. On the other hand the guy who spent the last 15 years going to grad school and building a career probably hasn't had as much time to workout as the guy who works part time at Starbucks and who's still living in his mother's house.

Also, its been my experience that a lot (certainly not all but a significant number) of conventionally attractive people -- both male and female -- skate by on there looks and therefore do indeed become dumb over the years even if they weren't to start with. They also get accustomed to getting what they want when they want it which can make them both unreliable and prone to cheating.

Since I'm now at an age when looks start to fade its actually kind of fun to see acquaintances who had previously traded on their looks have to adjust to new realities.


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## DitzyBrunette (Apr 5, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I've never gone anywhere with the explicit intention of getting laid. I know some people do. But, I'm not one of them. The insinuation that I and anyone else who complains about rudeness are just disappointed about not getting laid is a bit rude in and of itself. If a guy goes to a bar with the sole intention of getting laid it's fair to call him skeezy. If he approaches a chubby chick because he assumes it's a slam dunk he's infantile. But, by and large, I don't know any big guys that stupid. All I've ever heard big boys ask for is a little respect and a lot less condescension.



Uh.. question: Why did you quote my post, and then go on a rant about getting laid at bashes? I never said anything about anyone getting laid or not at a bash. You quoted this, by me:
"_I always find this on BBW sites - men get pissed off when women don't want to date just anything with a penis, they think we're not allowed to have a type. However, let's not forget why they are actually ON this site - they have a type, they want big women. They're allowed, we're not. Bullshit._"

..and then claimed you never looked for sex at a bash, which had absolutely NOTHING to do with what I wrote. Your reading comprehension skills are lacking...


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## Carrie (Apr 5, 2010)

bigmac said:


> However, If you want to sleep with the cool, exciting, hot young guy go for it --


I find it interesting that you seem to be automatically equating "thin" with these other adjectives - cool, exciting, hot, young, or with the "hot bartender" or something example you used earlier, or that "thin" somehow automatically indicates a full head of hair or wealth. All we said was "thin". There are a lot of kinds of thin, just as there are a lot of kinds of fat, and they don't all equal "conventional" attractiveness. Or douchebags, for that matter.


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## stldpn (Apr 5, 2010)

Carrie said:


> I find it interesting that you seem to be automatically equating "thin" with these other adjectives - cool, exciting, hot, young, or with the "hot bartender" or something example you used earlier, or that "thin" somehow automatically indicates a full head of hair or wealth. All we said was "thin". There are a lot of kinds of thin, just as there are a lot of kinds of fat, and they don't all equal "conventional" attractiveness. Or douchebags, for that matter.


Please do tell us how much you feel the need to stick up for thin guys. Let me guess being a skinny dorky guy in HS is so much harder than being the funny fat guy.:doh:
I'm sure that next I'll get to hear a variant of the theme about how fat guys don't really have it all that bad. Especially since no fat guy in the thread has complained about how bad he's gotten it in life unless it's been at the hands of a BBW or her obviously much more attractive(and therefore worth talking to) thin friends.


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## Jon Blaze (Apr 5, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Please do tell us how much you feel the need to stick up for thin guys. Let me guess being a skinny dorky guy in HS is so much harder than being the funny fat guy.:doh:
> I'm sure that next I'll get to hear a variant of the theme about how fat guys don't really have it all that bad. Especially since no fat guy in the thread has complained about how bad he's gotten it in life unless it's been at the hands of a BBW or her obviously much more attractive(and therefore worth talking to) thin friends.



Playing oppression olympics doesn't help your point.
Everyone's mileage varies.


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## Paquito (Apr 5, 2010)

Will fat guys ever win? 

DAMN YOU SOCIETY


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## Carrie (Apr 6, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Please do tell us how much you feel the need to stick up for thin guys. Let me guess being a skinny dorky guy in HS is so much harder than being the funny fat guy.:doh:
> I'm sure that next I'll get to hear a variant of the theme about how fat guys don't really have it all that bad. Especially since no fat guy in the thread has complained about how bad he's gotten it in life unless it's been at the hands of a BBW or her obviously much more attractive(and therefore worth talking to) thin friends.


Actually, I wasn't sticking up for thin guys, I was sticking up for fat women who are attracted to thin men, and are, as a result, maligned by some fat men who consider their preferences to be a personal affront. 

I will admit, I find this conversation kind of mind-boggling. I'm not insulted when a fat man doesn't find me attractive, because it's not about me, it's about *him* and his preferences. I don't take that personally, because it's not about me. And I certainly don't _expect_ one to find me attractive out of a sense of what, compassion and moral obligation because we're both fat? I would far rather be single forever than have someone be with me for that reason. 

I get why it's sucky for a fat woman to be hateful towards a fat man, _especially_ in a size-friendly environment, I really do. We all seem to, and as it's been said several times, that's just common decency we're talking about. I'm still just really puzzled by the anger I'm sensing towards thin men and fat women who are attracted to them, though. I'm guessing it's a result of your own personal experiences, which is understandable, we're all a result of our experiences. I'm sorry (honestly, sincerely) that fat women - or anyone - have made you feel bad, that's never fun. But really, unfortunate as it is that you've been hurt, what does it have to do with our right to have physical preferences in a mate? Anyone who has ever been burned in the love department knows without a shadow of a doubt that physical attraction is NOT a guarantee that someone will be nice to you and treat you well, so why does it matter so much, who doesn't want to fuck you? Just enjoy the people who do, and about whom you feel the same way. 

And don't be a dipwad, nobody here is saying fat men have it easy. Fat is fat, it's not easy for anyone.


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## LoveBHMS (Apr 6, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Please do tell us how much you feel the need to stick up for thin guys. Let me guess being a skinny dorky guy in HS is so much harder than being the funny fat guy.:doh:
> I'm sure that next I'll get to hear a variant of the theme about how fat guys don't really have it all that bad. Especially since no fat guy in the thread has complained about how bad he's gotten it in life unless it's been at the hands of a BBW or her obviously much more attractive(and therefore worth talking to) thin friends.



If there is one overiding theme of this board, it's that everyone has his or her own preferences or turnons or kinks or fetishes or orientations or attractions. Those are innate and not in any way a reflection of that individual's personality. They can't be helped. The only thing any of us has control over is how we treat others, and we should always treat everyone, even those to whom we are not attracted or even find physically undesirable, in a polite and respectful manner.


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## Ruby Ripples (Apr 6, 2010)

How come one person has managed to vote on three of the options on the poll? Alan Koenig? And Barrel appears to have voted on two. I havent looked any further than that, but... wth? lol


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## Make_Lunch_Not_War (Apr 6, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> If there is one overiding theme of this board, it's that everyone has his or her own preferences or turnons or kinks or fetishes or orientations or attractions.



On the whole, perhaps, but over the many years of this board there have been plenty examples of personal preferences being openly attacked and told how offensive their preferences are. Just ask some of the posters on the weight loss surgery board or men who get turned on by encouraging women to gain so much weight as to clause immobility if they've ever had posts of theirs condemned to high-holy-hell.

To me, having the right to your own preferences, turnons, kinks, fetishes, orientations or attractions includes having them respected by others, even if the "others" consider them to be abominable. I'm not talking here about disagreeing with someone's preference; I'm talking about demonizing them for said preference.

I'm just saying.


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## Blackjack (Apr 6, 2010)

Ruby Ripples said:


> How come one person has managed to vote on three of the options on the poll? Alan Koenig? And Barrel appears to have voted on two. I havent looked any further than that, but... wth? lol



The poll was made so that people could vote for more than one option.


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## stldpn (Apr 6, 2010)

Jon Blaze said:


> Playing oppression olympics doesn't help your point.
> Everyone's mileage varies.



I'm not playing oppression olympics. But the statements I've mentioned concerning BBWs who happily stick up for the supposed thin underdogs in ways that (let's be perfectly honest here) wouldn't be played to such fanfare if it were being said by a BHM re: thin girls, are more than just a little grating. Milage varies but asking for sensitivity without the ability to extend it to people in similar situations is pretty damn petty.


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## LovelyLiz (Apr 6, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I'm not playing oppression olympics. But the statements I've mentioned concerning BBWs who happily stick up for the supposed thin underdogs in ways that (let's be perfectly honest here) wouldn't be played to such fanfare if it were being said by a BHM re: thin girls, are more than just a little grating. Milage varies but *asking for sensitivity without the ability to extend it to people in similar situations is pretty damn petty*.



Pretty much everyone in this thread has agreed with you on that bolded statement, and have made that clear over and over. Some people have simply pointed out that some people are just jerks and are going to be mean...they aren't saying that's how people _should_ be, but that it is the reality of how it is, and not to be surprised that some fat women (like some of the people in every "category") are rude jerks.

To get back on topic, yes, I like fat on men. Give me a fat man, a thin man, an average man, a chubby man, a skinny man, whatever; as long as he has a big...HEART.


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## That Guy You Met Once (Apr 6, 2010)

It may be blatantly off-topic, but I'm glad we got to talk about the issue of fat guys being insulted at acceptance events. I wouldn't have guessed that happens.


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## stldpn (Apr 6, 2010)

Carrie said:


> Actually, I wasn't sticking up for thin guys, I was sticking up for fat women who are attracted to thin men, and are, as a result, maligned by some fat men who consider their preferences to be a personal affront.
> 
> I will admit, I find this conversation kind of mind-boggling. I'm not insulted when a fat man doesn't find me attractive, because it's not about me, it's about *him* and his preferences. I don't take that personally, because it's not about me. And I certainly don't _expect_ one to find me attractive out of a sense of what, compassion and moral obligation because we're both fat? I would far rather be single forever than have someone be with me for that reason.
> 
> ...



Would you like me to link the posts where it's been explicitly said that fat men have it easy? I'll give you one anonymous example and then you can tell me again that it NEVER happens here.



> A fat and tall guy may get messed with by other guys but the feel of it is not nearly as demeaning as when a gentleman slight of build is picked on by their male peers



I've not asked people to forgo preference only prejudice. I would not and do not string people along out of kindness. I do resist the idea that this uncomfortable subject is one that can't be spoken about. Because suppression of open talk about feelings means that everyone goes off in their little corners thinking they know what the motivation behind someone else's actions are without having any clue. It's a soul searching question, and telling someone they're only whining is the easier answer but not the one that resolves the issue.


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## Larry G (Apr 6, 2010)

I'm a guy, and I like it on certain girls. I even have seen fat porn, and I think it's sexy. It really depends on just where the fat distributes itself. :eat2:

I certainly like bigger girls than twigs, lol. Even thin girls I like are kinda meaty.

Anyway, I'm speaking from a complete physical, carnal perspective here. It's what's on the inside of a person that counts. I hope I didn't offend, just my two.

Larry


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## Larry G (Apr 6, 2010)

Woah, I see there's a debate here as to whether or not fat women and fat men have it easier. Well I'm a fat guy and as someone who's been morbidly obese to having lost a lot of that weight and gotten to "slightly pudgy" - "normal fat".

It's a little bit of both, and I think I can speak with some validity since I am a fat man and have walked in those shoes.

In some ways, women have it tougher, their looks are ridiculed to push them societally down to near emaciated proportions. Men don't have it quite so bad. In addition, they are pressured to primp themselves and put on make-up and all that jazz.

Speaking for fat men, I think BBW and SPBBW women have it a lot easier than BHM-sized men. There is a sense of sisterhood amongst very large women that men simply do not have at all. As a big sized man, I didn't have the plethora of large sized boutiques available to large sized women, and was completely shunned by society. Want a job? Ha, not at that size. Want a date? Don't be silly. People on the street laugh and taunt at you when you're that size, sometimes it even gets violent. It's darn scary and lonely life most of the time as a BHM. When you're that sized, you're also emasculated as a man because you "allowed yourself to get so out of control" and you end up facing many of the same problems as a woman, yet have NONE of the sisterhood and support that women would have in that situation.

Now as a slightly pudgier man who's 150 lbs thinner but still medically obese, but "normal", well the situation is different. Everyone flirts with me, like everyone, which is at the same time both hot and kinda disturbing. I can go out looking my mankiest, and the girls will flock at me and give me the eye like I was that vampire dude, lol.

So in that sense, it's "unfair". Yet at the same time, I have a feeling if I were a very larged sized BBW, I would have been married with 2.2 kids and a picked fence right now instead of single.

So in the end, both fat men and fat women face difficult, yet not altogether the same, challenges being a larger sized, in a world designed for smaller people. We need to stop tearing each other down and start SUPPORTING each other. The grass isn't always greenier, it's different.

Right now, my only problem is I could have anyone I wanted, it's just that those years being beat down for having the nerve of the sin of being extra-large makes me timid and shy, but I do it anyway. Anyway, let's come together people because we'll get nowhere blaming each other. We all face the same challenges. It's ironic, I find the most support from very thin girls with eating disorders than I do sometimes from my fellow fat people. "Food" for thought.

Larry


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## superodalisque (Apr 6, 2010)

Seventy-Seven said:


> It may be blatantly off-topic, but I'm glad we got to talk about the issue of fat guys being insulted at acceptance events. I wouldn't have guessed that happens.



yep its sad. i've seen eye rolls, people literally turn their backs and folks just plain ignoring them at a table. of course not every BBW at events does this for sure. most women are totally nice but there are enough who aren't that make it obvious why BHMs don't show up much. the behavior i've mentioned was to people who they hadn't had a chance to speak a word to and didn't know so its not about a response to a guy being rude.


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## Carrie (Apr 6, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Would you like me to link the posts where it's been explicitly said that fat men have it easy? I'll give you one anonymous example and then you can tell me again that it NEVER happens here.
> 
> I've not asked people to forgo preference only prejudice. I would not and do not string people along out of kindness. I do resist the idea that this uncomfortable subject is one that can't be spoken about. Because suppression of open talk about feelings means that everyone goes off in their little corners thinking they know what the motivation behind someone else's actions are without having any clue. It's a soul searching question, and telling someone they're only whining is the easier answer but not the one that resolves the issue.


Okay, hold on. I think you read my statement, "nobody here is saying fat men have it easy" and thought I was referring to Dimensions, while I actually was referring to just this discussion, where I don't recall anyone saying that (in fact, I think you were the one who brought it up?). I've seen statements like that made around here on Dims, sure, but I don't engage with them. I really think the whole "who has it worse" debate is asinine and ridiculous (who wants to "win" a debate like that??), and personally believe that the difficulties of being a fat person of either gender probably stack up pretty evenly, when all is said and done (and btw, one of the challenges I *do* see for fat men is that a lot of websites and events and such presented as "size friendly" do tend to be much more about bbw than bhm). If someone wants to do the suffering debate, they can, but I honestly don't see the point of it, unless it's just a desperate need for validation of some kind. Life is hard. Life is hard as a fat person. Life is hard for average sized people. Old news (to me, anyway), but if it's not to you, have at it. But please, don't accuse me of engaging in it when I say that not all thin men are douches. That's really kind of not even remotely a little teensy bit the same thing. 

I'm against prejudice, too, having experienced a lot of it myself as a fat woman. But when a fat man doesn't find me attractive, I don't chalk that up to prejudice. I chalk it up to his preference for thin girls, _not his distaste for fat girls_. I think that because that's how MY preferences work. They're about the qualities that give me that yummy jolt in my solar plexus, they're not comprised of a default list of things that don't turn me off. Am I really so unique in that? I'm thinking probably not.


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## That Guy You Met Once (Apr 6, 2010)

Larry G said:


> I find the most support from very thin girls with eating disorders than I do sometimes from my *fellow* fat people. "Food" for thought.



Maybe, considering them your "fellow" fat people is the problem.

Just because someone has the same body type, interests, or experiences as you doesn't mean they're good people.

Even though, sexually, I love fat on both genders, I don't consider all fat people, FAs, or even members of the acceptance community to be "brothers," "comrades," or "in the same boat as me."

No more than I consider all black people, writers, or people with my eye color to be any of those things.


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## superodalisque (Apr 6, 2010)

unfortunately that is true. there are just as many fat asshats as there are thin ones.


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## Larry G (Apr 6, 2010)

Seventy-Seven said:


> Maybe, considering them your "fellow" fat people is the problem.
> 
> Just because someone has the same body type, interests, or experiences as you doesn't mean they're good people.
> 
> ...



Yep, I agree. And, I was just using the term "fellow" as a descriptor in body type, only. It seems though that of all the "groups", we're the first ones to tear ourselves down probably because we see things in other people we hate in ourselves.

Like if I'm eating something, with a group, I'd almost always usually eat with a thin person because I'm way self-conscious, and a fat person is more like to criticize what I'm eating and give me dieting advice. Very odd, and yes I'm generalizing way too much.

But I'm complex, I"m fat and I hate it, but I like fat women, so I dunno. Life is strange.


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## AnnMarie (Apr 6, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> yep its sad. i've seen eye rolls, people literally turn their backs and folks just plain ignoring them at a table. of course not every BBW at events does this for sure. most women are totally nice but there are enough who aren't that make it obvious why BHMs don't show up much. the behavior i've mentioned was to people who they hadn't had a chance to speak a word to and didn't know so its not about a response to a guy being rude.




I've absolutely done that to assholes and creeps, and will probably continue to do so. I know plenty of chubby/fat guys, they come to our events over and over to meet with friends and girlfriends (fat AND thin) and all is right with the world. Nice, fun, cool guys. 

If someone assumes that I'm treating someone like a jerk because they're fat they know nothing about me and have a HUGE chip on their shoulder. Jerks are jerks, I don't care about the size package they come in. I'm not going to be extra nice to a fat guy who's an ass just because we share adipose-familiarity. 


And I realize that no one is suggesting I be nice to jerks, my point is simply that assuming you know why an eyeroll is happening can be dangerous if you don't know the previous interactions/circumstances. 


____ moving along in post_____
One of the biggest assholes I know is a fat guy that I've known from events. He's always had an attitude, found out that I prefer thin guys years and years ago, and demonized me - called me out in conversation after conversation, in front of others, over the fact that I'm apparently shallow, looking for trophies, and I would be "very fucking sorry some day when" he has WLS and all the girls want him. 

EWWWWW. Not ewww because he's fat, ewww because what an attitude, what a chip, what a horrible approach. I never said boo to him about what I like and don't, he never asked me out, he never got turned down by me, but finding out what I prefer was enough to make me a stuck up bitch who was "too good" to go out with a fat guy. 

Screw that. I'm sick of the shit. I don't care who thinks they have it worse - it's not about that. I'm living my own life, but I do NOT need a bunch of crap about who I will and won't date based on anything - race, size, age, kinks, whatever. 

Now, based on this giant ass that I know, do I think all fat guys are like that?? NO, that would be nuts. Most guys I know, fat or thin, are nice guys, cool guys, and they're pretty much all FAs who love fat girls (and if they're not FAs, that's cool too).

It's about taking people as they are and letting that be your guide, and every single person here is saying that and agreeing - no one should be treated unfriendly because of size, it makes absolutely no sense.


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## Samantha (Apr 6, 2010)

There are handsome men of all shapes and sizes, but being as big as I am I dont have stamina. If you paired me together with a man that didn't have the stamina to make up for what I lack, well the sexual aspect of my relationship would not be fufilled and that relationship would eventually fail. 

Of course I could have taken this in a lot more raunchy of a direction... but ill sugar coat it.


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## Jon Blaze (Apr 6, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> *Pretty much everyone in this thread has agreed with you on that bolded statement, and have made that clear over and over. Some people have simply pointed out that some people are just jerks and are going to be mean...they aren't saying that's how people should be, but that it is the reality of how it is, and not to be surprised that some fat women (like some of the people in every "category") are rude jerks.*
> 
> To get back on topic, yes, I like fat on men. Give me a fat man, a thin man, an average man, a chubby man, a skinny man, whatever; as long as he has a big...HEART.



Exactdemundo!


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## bigmac (Apr 6, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> yep its sad. i've seen eye rolls, people literally turn their backs and folks just plain ignoring them at a table.




Yup, this has happened to me. At the 2007 Vegas Bash I walked up to a BBW and said hi. She looked me up and down and then turned and walked away without saying a word.


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## Blackjack (Apr 6, 2010)

I really fail to understand why there's such a shitfest over the fact that fat people have varied preferences just like _everyfuckingbody else_.

How _dare _you fatties think that you can be like everyone else.


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## superodalisque (Apr 7, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> I really fail to understand why there's such a shitfest over the fact that fat people have varied preferences just like _everyfuckingbody else_.
> 
> How _dare _you fatties think that you can be like everyone else.



its fine for someone to have a preference but they don't have to be rude to everyone else to have one. i think what the guys are trying to say is that they've felt the sting of rudeness. i don't understand why they don't seem to have the right to ask for a little politeness or to express what they've experienced and how they felt about it.


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## thatgirl08 (Apr 7, 2010)

Okay.. has anyone in this entire thread said that it's okay to treat other people like shit? Like welcome to not being a dick 101.


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## superodalisque (Apr 7, 2010)

AnnMarie said:


> I've absolutely done that to assholes and creeps, and will probably continue to do so. I know plenty of chubby/fat guys, they come to our events over and over to meet with friends and girlfriends (fat AND thin) and all is right with the world. Nice, fun, cool guys.
> 
> If someone assumes that I'm treating someone like a jerk because they're fat they know nothing about me and have a HUGE chip on their shoulder. Jerks are jerks, I don't care about the size package they come in. I'm not going to be extra nice to a fat guy who's an ass just because we share adipose-familiarity.
> 
> ...



it makes complete sense to give the cold shoulder to someone inappropriate and acting entitled etc... but what i'm talking about is people that i know for sure have been strangers to the guys i'm talking about and were rude right off the bat without waiting to see what kind of person they were at all. i'm sure thats not what you're talking about. i agree with you totally that no one should be treated differently because of their size. but as we all know it happens and fat people are not immune to being as prejudiced as everyone else. pretending otherwise is just not honest and saying that people who are the objects of it are always at fault just seems kind of cold hearted.


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## Ruby Ripples (Apr 7, 2010)

bigmac said:


> Yup, this has happened to me. At the 2007 Vegas Bash I walked up to a BBW and said hi. She looked me up and down and then turned and walked away without saying a word.



Did you consider that maybe she looked you up and down trying to think who you were, then recognised you from pics online, and that is why she walked away? Nothing to do with your size. But all to do with your attitude?


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## stldpn (Apr 7, 2010)

Ruby Ripples said:


> Did you consider that maybe she looked you up and down trying to think who you were, then recognised you from pics online, and that is why she walked away? Nothing to do with your size. But all to do with your attitude?



I think you're just reaching now aren't you? It could only happen to fat guy for some other reason, but if it was a fat woman relating it would you be so quick to doubt it?


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## Littleghost (Apr 7, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> its fine for someone to have a preference but they don't have to be rude to everyone else to have one. i think what the guys are trying to say is that they've felt the sting of rudeness. i don't understand why they don't seem to have the right to ask for a little politeness or to express what they've experienced and how they felt about it.



I think it's _how_ they're going about it that's the problem. The "brokenrecord-fullblinderson-supernegative-nodifferingopinionisvalid-ivegotitfarworsethanyou" approach tends not to get received well. I've yet to figure out why.  Perhaps they just need to be persistent.


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## stldpn (Apr 7, 2010)

Littleghost said:


> I think it's _how_ they're going about it that's the problem. The "brokenrecord-fullblinderson-supernegative-nodifferingopinionisvalid-ivegotitfarworsethanyou" approach tends not to get received well. I've yet to figure out why.  Perhaps they just need to be persistent.



So I'm curious, if you'd been treated rudely and people were pretending you were hallucinating it, what would your "ever so much more appropriate" response be? 

Before you begin, please note a few things though. Your characterization of myself and big mac as


> brokenrecord-fullblinderson-supernegative-nodifferingopinionisvalid-ivegotitfarworsethanyou


 BHMs has already tipped your hand as somebody who may not be particularly in tune with the issue from any point of veiw other than that of an outsider. Which is why, generally, BHMS tend to write off your opinions in matters like these so easily. The fact that the issue is recurring means that it's not resolved. Several men have pointed it out and been labeled whiny in the process. And while we all apparently agree that it's not nice to be rude, we apparently can't agree that the feelings of BHMs "might" be valid issues that need to be addressed. Because again there's this persistent thing about how it "couldn't possibly be happening the way you say" despite the fact that several people have experienced it and have reported it.


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## DitzyBrunette (Apr 7, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> i don't understand why they don't seem to have the right to ask for a little politeness or to express what they've experienced and how they felt about it.



They totally have the right to ask for politeness. No one said they didn't. STLDPN is making it seem like all fat women are rude to him all the time just because he's fat. A lot of us seem to think it's for other reasons.


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## stldpn (Apr 7, 2010)

DitzyBrunette said:


> They totally have the right to ask for politeness. No one said they didn't. STLDPN is making it seem like all fat women are rude to him all the time just because he's fat. A lot of us seem to think it's for other reasons.



I said it was an issue. I said that the women who were doing it might not even realize how petty it makes them look. Everyone made it seem like I *must *be an asshole because THAT thing that I was reporting NEVER happens. Then when other people started affirming that it actually kinda does happen, and yes they have actually noticed, and/or it's happened to them. Gee wiz now it must only happen to Fat guys who are also assholes.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 7, 2010)

Ruby Ripples said:


> Did you consider that maybe she looked you up and down trying to think who you were, then recognised you from pics online, and that is why she walked away? Nothing to do with your size. But all to do with your attitude?




Oh how I laughed.....and it's a lousy time to be out of rep. I definitely owe you some


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## AnnMarie (Apr 7, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> pretending otherwise is just not honest and saying that people who are the objects of it are always at fault just seems kind of cold hearted.



Right. I'm cold-hearted, rigid, unapproachable, and shallow. My post clearly says they're always at fault. It certainly doesn't say exactly the opposite of that, that no one should be treated poorly because of their size. 

Serenity now.


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## superodalisque (Apr 7, 2010)

AnnMarie said:


> Right. I'm cold-hearted, rigid, unapproachable, and shallow. My post clearly says they're always at fault. It certainly doesn't say exactly the opposite of that, that no one should be treated poorly because of their size.
> 
> Serenity now.



i never meant to say that you personally were cold hearted etc...or that you personally had said that they were always at fault. i was talking about how the discussion appeared to be going in general. and i agreed with you that no one should be treated differently because of their size.


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## AnnMarie (Apr 7, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> i never meant to say that you personally were cold hearted etc...or that you personally had said that they were always at fault. i was talking about how the discussion appeared to be going in general. and i agreed with you that no one should be treated differently because of their size.




Okay. I guess the quoting of my paragraphs long post with a single paragraph underneath it made me think otherwise. 

My bad.


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## superodalisque (Apr 7, 2010)

AnnMarie said:


> Okay. I guess the quoting of my paragraphs long post with a single paragraph underneath it made me think otherwise.
> 
> My bad.



i really don't see how responding to a post with a point of view with my own point of view has anything to do with characterizing someone in ways i have no way of knowing anything about.


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## Blackjack (Apr 7, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> i really don't see how responding to a post with a point of view with my own point of view has anything to do with characterizing someone in ways i have no way of knowing anything about.



Typically if you quote a post, you're replying _directly to that poster_. So a statement is gonna be taken as being made directly to whoever was quoted unless otherwise stated.


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## superodalisque (Apr 7, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> Typically if you quote a post, you're replying _directly to that poster_. So a statement is gonna be taken as being made directly to whoever was quoted unless otherwise stated.



i can understand that. but, if i wanted to say someone was something i'd just say it straight out. that wasn't what i said. sometimes its good to look at what someone actually says instead of inferring things--especially once they've said that wasn't their intent. i have no reason to call AnnMarie any names and i've never seen _her_ do those things to anyone. as far as i knew this was just a discussion. i think people here need to relax about taking things so personally.


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## Littleghost (Apr 7, 2010)

stldpn said:


> So I'm curious, if you'd been treated rudely and people were pretending you were hallucinating it, what would your "ever so much more appropriate" response be?
> 
> Before you begin, please note a few things though. Your characterization of myself and big mac as BHMs has already tipped your hand as somebody who may not be particularly in tune with the issue from any point of veiw other than that of an outsider. Which is why, generally, BHMS tend to write off your opinions in matters like these so easily. The fact that the issue is recurring means that it's not resolved. Several men have pointed it out and been labeled whiny in the process. And while we all apparently agree that it's not nice to be rude, we apparently can't agree that the feelings of BHMs "might" be valid issues that need to be addressed. Because again there's this persistent thing about how it "couldn't possibly be happening the way you say" despite the fact that several people have experienced it and have reported it.



I'm not going to really hash it out, because honestly, you seem the type of person who is far more interested in arguing things rather than discussing and getting results. I base this on pretty much every post I've read by you, so if that's an unfair conclusion, it's as accurate as it can be on a web board.

My characterization was of the the posts made here on thread, not the situation you're talking about. Frankly, the "ew no" option on kinda pissed me off, but at the very least, it refers to the opposite sex, NOT STRICTLY BHMs. To reiterate, this thread isn't about hating BHMs. It's about whether or not people are attracted to the same body type that they have. And since this is a board about fat people and those that like them, skinny people who like skinny people are naturally excluded. _Rightly so.

_I'm not saying that the events that you're talking about in the real world haven't happened, in fact, I have little to no reason to disbelieve you. The *ONLY* issue I would raise with it is that you're reading into the things on this thread and tying them unjustly into your own experiences. Which would lead some people to believe that you _might_ be reading into/exaggerating the experiences you've had. If you weren't reading into the posts made here, they'd be far more likely to believe you, and they should. But that would also mean that you'd probably realize that what you're talking about and what the thread is about are *two different things.* Which has been said before many times. Which is what you've had your blinders on about.

This is called hijacking the thread, and it's the major problem. If you have an issue to bring up, create it in an *appropriate thread.*

That being said:
Fat women who are attracted to thin men are no more hypocritcal than: Thin men who like fat women, fat men who like thin women, thin women that like fat men, white people who like black people, the list goes on.

And for the record, yes I'm skinny, which means that while I obviously haven't experienced being a fat man rejected by a fat woman, it doesn't make my point any less valid. I'm an outsider only why people should be responding positively to blanket accusations and misreading their statements. People are attracted to what they are attracted to, not what they _should _be. And while *anyone* getting rejected by someone that they think would find them attractive is crappy, it's also how life works, fat acceptance or no. What would make my point less valid is if I was incapable of or didn't want to take other people's views and experiences into account. But since that more accurately describes your one track approach, I'll just quit while I'm ahead.

A word of advice that will probably be ignored: Try to think what the person is trying to say, rather than what you've made up your mind that they will say.

Edit: Focus on the positive as well as the negative to have a more objective and approachable viewpoint; just look at all those fat people on the poll who said yes to other fat people! Don't just paint things in black and white.


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## LovelyLiz (Apr 8, 2010)

Littleghost said:


> SNIPPED
> Edit: Focus on the positive as well as the negative to have a more objective and approachable viewpoint; just *look at all those fat people on the poll who said yes to other fat people!* Don't just paint things in black and white.



QFT. That is such a great point, and the proof is right at the top of the thread!


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## stldpn (Apr 8, 2010)

Oi I love it when you condescend to me. Referencing other threads in which I steadfastly denied your infinite knowledge of scientific principles that well, just don't have anything to do with the things that are going on in this thread. Your referencing hyde park as if it were a place to truly gauge the decorum and manners of others. And now you'd like to hold the pretension that it wasn't you that opened the can of worms with your sarcasm and obvious distaste for the subject of fat men having feelings. Your desire not to hash things certainly fills out the page doesn't it? The important result of the discussion might have been a bit of recognition that fatand the attitudes we have toward it is a larger issue than attraction. Something that may or may not be difficult to accurately understand from an FA point of veiw. 

Discussions almost always evolve. And your assertion that I hijacked it is not exactly accurate. BBWs began responding to a comment about fat hypocrisy and I chose to join the conversation and provide examples. What followed were the thread participants ideas. Are those so hard to live with? The cost of a public forum is being subjected to the opinions you don't understand or agree with as long as you'e reading.

I have viewed the polling results. Quite a few of them are self identified as FAs. But then I've also had this discussion with women who tell me they ARE FFAs they just don't like guys that are more than 40lbs overweight. Here in America being a male less than 40lbs overweight is pretty average. Thus they still don't feel obligated to behave with civility toward a fat guy like me cause I must be responding out of a position filled with bitterness. I find that mostly amusing since my own effort toward romantic liasons with bbw have been sporadic at best.

This didn't have to be a discussion about negativity. But I'm not the person who started the negativity, and when I feel someone is being strictly derogatory toward me, (especially in the I don't like or understand them as a group but I'm too chicken shit to admit my prejudice way) I'm unlikely to be sweet and understanding.

Just a btw I really don't think I'm the one that's been over thinking these things. I've had a long time to consider the things that happened a long time ago during the MA events I attended and plenty of time to compare them to experiences I've had outside the community. I made the decisions about what behavior I was willing to accept, and I don't raise the issue but I'll continue to discuss it with those that are willing to despite the fact that the opinion is unmercifully attacked.



Littleghost said:


> I'm not going to really hash it out, because honestly, you seem the type of person who is far more interested in arguing things rather than discussing and getting results. I base this on pretty much every post I've read by you, so if that's an unfair conclusion, it's as accurate as it can be on a web board.
> 
> My characterization was of the the posts made here on thread, not the situation you're talking about. Frankly, the "ew no" option on kinda pissed me off, but at the very least, it refers to the opposite sex, NOT STRICTLY BHMs. To reiterate, this thread isn't about hating BHMs. It's about whether or not people are attracted to the same body type that they have. And since this is a board about fat people and those that like them, skinny people who like skinny people are naturally excluded. _Rightly so.
> 
> ...


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## Carrie (Apr 8, 2010)

stldpn said:


> This didn't have to be a discussion about negativity. But I'm not the person who started the negativity, and when I feel someone is being strictly derogatory toward me, (especially in the I don't like or understand them as a group but I'm too chicken shit to admit my prejudice way) I'm unlikely to be sweet and understanding.


The thing is, nobody here posts in a vacuum. You have also posted pretty negative things in the confessions thread on the BHM board about the silly "hot boy" thread in the lounge because there are so many thin men in it (though the "hot girl" thread leans just as much towards thinness, but I haven't seen anyone up in arms about it). You truly do come across, in this thread and elsewhere, as someone who has a real problem with fat women who prefer thin men, and *that's* what a lot of us are responding to. It's just genuinely puzzling. I mean, I've reached out to fat men here at Dims several times and gotten no response. Whether it's because I'm fat and they prefer thin, or because I'm redheaded, or my stinky personality, who knows? I considered the lack of response rude on an individual basis, but it certainly didn't make me any angrier than the thin men I've reached out to here and received no response. Rude is rude. I wasn't more expectant of a positive response from the fat ones because we're both fat. 

Just out of curiosity, have you dated thin FA/FFA? How do you feel about their preference for someone of your size? 

As for the general suckiness of BHM being treated rudely or dismissively _because of their size_ at fat-oriented events, I don't know how many different ways people in this thread can agree that it sucks. Some of us have even gone on to agree that "fat oriented" resources do tend to lean heavily towards fat women and that fat men can become marginalized as a result. I think it's a topic very much worthy of its own discussion, frankly. I'm sorry I called you a dipwad earlier, but good grief. I mean, I say "all thin men aren't douches" and you launch into a sarcastic tirade of, "ooooh, please tell me how thin guys have it just as bad as fat guys!". That was kind of a ludicrous leap to make. I shouldn't have called you a name, though, so apologies for that.


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## CuppyCakeSSBBW (Apr 8, 2010)

I don't tend to have a type. I am attracted to personality more than anything. However, when it comes to larger men, it's about how they wear their fat. If the fat creates a curvy appearance, then I don't find it attractive on a man, as I consider curves to be a feminine quality. FOr that reason, I find a lot of big women beautiful, and don't have as easy a time seeing beauty in fat men. There are also plenty of big men who don't fall into the category I described, and still seem masculine, so then I might find them attractive.

I don't even know if that made sense. Sigh.


PS - I hate it when people say it's hypocritical for big girls not to like big guys. Being fat doesn't mean that we're not entitled to have a preference, just like everyone else does. I repect that not everyone is attracted to me, so don't I have the right not to be attracted to everyone?


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## stldpn (Apr 8, 2010)

Carrie said:


> The thing is, nobody here posts in a vacuum. You have also posted pretty negative things in the confessions thread on the BHM board about the silly "hot boy" thread in the lounge because there are so many thin men in it (though the "hot girl" thread leans just as much towards thinness, but I haven't seen anyone up in arms about it). You truly do come across, in this thread and elsewhere, as someone who has a real problem with fat women who prefer thin men, and *that's* what a lot of us are responding to. It's just genuinely puzzling. I mean, I've reached out to fat men here at Dims several times and gotten no response. Whether it's because I'm fat and they prefer thin, or because I'm redheaded, or my stinky personality, who knows? I considered the lack of response rude on an individual basis, but it certainly didn't make me any angrier than the thin men I've reached out to here and received no response. Rude is rude. I wasn't more expectant of a positive response from the fat ones because we're both fat.
> 
> Just out of curiosity, have you dated thin FA/FFA? How do you feel about their preference for someone of your size?
> 
> As for the general suckiness of BHM being treated rudely or dismissively _because of their size_ at fat-oriented events, I don't know how many different ways people in this thread can agree that it sucks. Some of us have even gone on to agree that "fat oriented" resources do tend to lean heavily towards fat women and that fat men can become marginalized as a result. I think it's a topic very much worthy of its own discussion, frankly. I'm sorry I called you a dipwad earlier, but good grief. I mean, I say "all thin men aren't douches" and you launch into a sarcastic tirade of, "ooooh, please tell me how thin guys have it just as bad as fat guys!". That was kind of a ludicrous leap to make. I shouldn't have called you a name, though, so apologies for that.



Negative depends on the audience in many cases. To clarify what was said in the confessions thread? A BHM mentioned the way that threads in the common areas that had sprung up have very very few references to BHMs and when they do, the best we seem to be able to do is the small guys who look like they've been ripped from the pages of GQ. This was my response. Which you may note was not one that everybody thought of as a minority wingnut job. The consideration of where you post being and who you post to almost as important as what you post I stand behind the exchange had there. It is insensitive to shove it in my face that you spend so much time drooling over the world's idea of what a perfect man is and therefore reinforcing it. And then when someone says something about it there is a desire to roll out a defensive post about how really you're being super nice just allowing me to draw breath. I and others have a right to feel a bit discouraged by that, and we certainly have a right to do it on the BHM boards without being told we're being whiny. By and large most of the thin girl pictures I see added are those put up by members of the BHM/FFA board of actual members. I have few issues with people sharing pictures of themselves. But that wasn't what was going on in that case. Body image issues are sensitive for all of us, and there are ways to have a preference without rubbing someone else's nose in it. You can go anywhere on the net to gossip about whether Tom or Brad has a nicer butt why do you have to do it in front of me? Take it to the BBW board and no one will have a right to say anything about the way you promote your preference.

I don't know who you've reached out to here. Doesn't really matter to me. I don't need the reach out just a little consideration for the way things really are perceived by guys of size. I happen to be a bhm who generally falls under the majority community approved version of what a fat guy should look like. Ie. I'm more muscular and less soft. But telling a guy with moobs and a big butt that he's unattractive because his qualities aren't as "masculine" is just as reprehensible as poking fun at a bbw who may also have hormonal issues because of her weight. 

I've dated an ffa not a bbw but not a thin girl either. The whole of the experience was both interesting and frightening. I doubt I would date someone again whose only common interest was my body. Many people also know that I still self identify as a Bear and there are obviously elements of that community that are fat positive and negative. The difference I see in that community is that many of the individuals in it are looking for activity partners rather than sex partners.


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## Littleghost (Apr 8, 2010)

Don't bear a grudge much, do we?  Totally wasn't even talking about Hyde Park. Although I should know better by now than to get involved with certain posting types.



stldpn said:


> Oi I love it when you condescend to me. Referencing other threads in which I steadfastly denied your infinite knowledge of scientific principles that well, just don't have anything to do with the things that are going on in this thread. Your referencing hyde park as if it were a place to truly gauge the decorum and manners of others. And now you'd like to hold the pretension that it wasn't you that opened the can of worms with your sarcasm and obvious distaste for the subject of fat men having feelings. Your desire not to hash things certainly fills out the page doesn't it? The important result of the discussion might have been a bit of recognition that fatand the attitudes we have toward it is a larger issue than attraction. Something that may or may not be difficult to accurately understand from an FA point of veiw.
> 
> Discussions almost always evolve. And your assertion that I hijacked it is not exactly accurate. BBWs began responding to a comment about fat hypocrisy and I chose to join the conversation and provide examples. What followed were the thread participants ideas. Are those so hard to live with? The cost of a public forum is being subjected to the opinions you don't understand or agree with as long as you'e reading.
> 
> ...


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## stldpn (Apr 8, 2010)

Littleghost said:


> I'm not going to really hash it out, because honestly, you seem the type of person who is far more interested in arguing things rather than discussing and getting results. I base this on pretty much every post I've read by you, so if that's an unfair conclusion, it's as accurate as it can be on a web board.


So you didn't fully read my posts in hyde park before you responded to them? Or are you trying to tell me that you've done some sort of in depth sampling of everything I've ever posted?


Littleghost said:


> Don't bear a grudge much, do we?  *Totally wasn't even talking about Hyde Park.* Although I should know better by now than to get involved with certain posting types.


I'm thinking you make a point of not even paying attention to what you yourself are posting let alone attempting to take a post by another person and fully understand what's being said. This is why I'm sarcastic some days. 

My opinion may not need much but it's worth


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## bigmac (Apr 9, 2010)

Ruby Ripples said:


> Did you consider that maybe she looked you up and down trying to think who you were, then recognised you from pics online, and that is why she walked away? Nothing to do with your size. But all to do with your attitude?



Nice try -- but not likely -- I don't believe I had any photos posted back then, and I'm quite civil IRL. I'll stick to my original interpretation of events.


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## Weeze (Apr 9, 2010)

"welcome to not being a dick"

Dude... I love how every thread bigmac enters/creates turns into a shit storm. I'm sorry, but is anyone else noticing that? I like skinny menz. I like fat menz. I like big wimmins, I like skinny wimmins. I don't understand why this is so difficult for people to understand. You like what you like. End.
God, you'd think William was still here.


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## BothGunsBlazing (Apr 9, 2010)

Weeze said:


> "welcome to not being a dick"
> 
> Dude... I love how every thread bigmac enters/creates turns into a shit storm. I'm sorry, but is anyone else noticing that? I like skinny menz. I like fat menz. I like big wimmins, I like skinny wimmins. I don't understand why this is so difficult for people to understand. You like what you like. End.
> God, you'd think William was still here.


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## Saoirse (Apr 9, 2010)

I feel like all these "nice" guys that women aren't interested in are... boring? I like nice guys, but they have to be kinda interesting and fun as well. You can be the nicest guy on the planet, but if you're just sitting in the corner pouting about no one liking you... sucks to yer asmar.

That being said- Im usually attracted to tall, skinny socially awkward dudes. But Ive been into men of all sizes.


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## bigmac (Apr 9, 2010)

Weeze said:


> "welcome to not being a dick"
> 
> Dude... I love how every thread bigmac enters/creates turns into a shit storm. I'm sorry, but is anyone else noticing that? I like skinny menz. I like fat menz. I like big wimmins, I like skinny wimmins. I don't understand why this is so difficult for people to understand. You like what you like. End.
> God, you'd think William was still here.




OK -- How's this for my next thread? _I think puppies are cute. What does everyone else think?_


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## Saoirse (Apr 9, 2010)

puppies rock.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 10, 2010)

Weeze said:


> "welcome to not being a dick"
> 
> Dude... I love how every thread bigmac enters/creates turns into a shit storm. I'm sorry, but is anyone else noticing that? I like skinny menz. I like fat menz. I like big wimmins, I like skinny wimmins. I don't understand why this is so difficult for people to understand. You like what you like. End.
> God, you'd think William was still here.



You are wonderful  :bow:



Saoirse said:


> I feel like all these "nice" guys that women aren't interested in are... boring? I like nice guys, but they have to be kinda interesting and fun as well. You can be the nicest guy on the planet, but if you're just sitting in the corner pouting about no one liking you... sucks to yer asmar.
> 
> That being said- Im usually attracted to tall, skinny socially awkward dudes. But Ive been into men of all sizes.



That's true.....it's up to each of us as individuals to "stand out". Do any of the "boring people" look for other boring people to spend their time with or do they, too, want someone that is more interesting in some aspect?


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## hot'n fluffy (Apr 12, 2010)

But there is some hot average and skinny chicks too, so I guess I'm attracted to femenine beauty, regardless of size.


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## thatgirl08 (Apr 12, 2010)

BothGunsBlazing said:


>



You haven't posted in like, 6 months and you come back with this? I'm dying.


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## bigmac (Apr 12, 2010)

Saoirse said:


> I feel like all these "nice" guys that women aren't interested in are... boring? I like nice guys, but they have to be kinda interesting and fun as well. You can be the nicest guy on the planet, but if you're just sitting in the corner pouting about no one liking you... sucks to yer asmar.
> 
> That being said- Im usually attracted to tall, skinny socially awkward dudes. But Ive been into men of all sizes.




I've never been called boring -- I've been called odd, strange, weird, psycho, pompous, grumpy, irritable, short tempered, even snobby -- I've even been called a jerk and an asshole on occasion -- but never boring.

I'll agree with you -- nice only gets you so far.


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## KittyKitten (Apr 12, 2010)

I'm the size of Buffie the Body/Jennifer Hudson--lower end of BBW--thick, plumper, voluptuous, _gordita_, _mamasota_, stacked whatever you want to call it. 

I strongly prefer slender, athletic men with a nice muscular tone--Dmitry Chaplin http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_g6A8N02GBWE/SQhQ-fDoioI/AAAAAAAAAV8/AsPicfLvU2U/s400/1564204667_4f5570418f.jpghas one of the sexiest bodies on a man--I like dancer builds. That V shape gets me going.

But I also like husky, bearlike men. I just don't prefer hugely obese men the size of Chris Farley.

The men that come to me tend to be slender, I don't know why. 

But I have noticed that sites geared towards bbws have their share of whiny extra big men who complain about fat women being hypocrites because they don't want them. Tough sh-t. Many of them are the main ones chasing after bony women.


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## stldpn (Apr 12, 2010)

happyface83 said:


> But I have noticed that sites geared towards bbws have their share of whiny extra big men who complain about fat women being hypocrites because they don't want them. Tough sh-t. Many of them are the main ones chasing after bony women.



Thank you for the glorious illustration of why fat men chase "bony" girls. There's no win to this argument. It's normally the only one we're presented with by bbws when the discussion comes up. It's the reason why many big BHMs assume BBW have a lot of self hatred (the prevalent notion that fat is the main thing that makes a man unattractive ie all fat people are unattractive). It's why it's so damn difficult to have any respect for a woman who thinks it's ok to dump on you and label you whiny because that's easier than actually thinking about someone else's feelings. I'm sure that there are those that will have a field day with this post but, hell, this is a damn good example of why fat men have such a big issue with the complicity of fat women in these types of attitudes.

My life could be just that much easier if I wasn't attracted to big girls and dealing with women who seem to think this is a constructive attitude.


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## KittyKitten (Apr 12, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Thank you for the glorious illustration of why fat men chase "bony" girls. There's no win to this argument. It's normally the only one we're presented with by bbws when the discussion comes up. It's the reason why many big BHMs assume BBW have a lot of self hatred (the prevalent notion that fat is the main thing that makes a man unattractive ie all fat people are unattractive). It's why it's so damn difficult to have any respect for a woman who thinks it's ok to dump on you and label you whiny because that's easier than actually thinking about someone else's feelings. I'm sure that there are those that will have a field day with this post but, hell, this is a damn good example of why fat men have such a big issue with the complicity of fat women in these types of attitudes.
> 
> My life could be just that much easier if I wasn't attracted to big girls and dealing with women who seem to think this is a constructive attitude.



Why so emotional? That is my preference, I prefer athletic to husky build men. You want to complain about it, that's on you, _guey._ You can't force someone to want a certain type. It's not self hatred (another excuse) but knowing what you like. Some men like blondes, others like brunettes. Some like dark skin, some like light skin. It's a preference.

I find fat attractive more so on a woman--they are the softer sex. Men tend to have a more muscular build, thus that is what many women like. My opinion.All the larger ladies on this site are absolutely beautiful--that fat enhances their beauty. 

If a man wants a bony broad, that's his preference. I'm not going to moan. Because I know there is a hell of a lot of men that like my thick thighs. But every single time, I see a bitter post from some super big man who laments big women don't want him. Ok, so what? He can find someone for himself that will find him attractive. Sounds like he is the one with the insecurity. 

If that is you in that picture, I would classify you as husky and many women love that type and you are a very handsome man. I like big men just not overly obese. I have my limits--I think we all do. No need to get hurt.


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## Nutty (Apr 12, 2010)

poor stldpn  ( I don't have any of the problems he has, but he is only expressing himself about what has happened to him in the past).


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## KittyKitten (Apr 12, 2010)

Nutty said:


> poor stldpn  ( I don't have any of the problems he has, but he is only expressing himself about what has happened to him in the past).



He has nothing to worry about, he is a good looking husky man.


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## KittyKitten (Apr 12, 2010)

And_ guey _means 'homie or dude' in Spanish, it's not an insult.


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## Nutty (Apr 13, 2010)

Well i have done my job defending someone. BACK TO THE BATCAVE! (Runs away from thread....for now ;P)


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## stldpn (Apr 13, 2010)

happyface83 said:


> Why so emotional?
> 
> I find fat attractive more so on a woman--they are the softer sex. *Men tend to have a more muscular build,* thus that is what many women like. My opinion.All the larger ladies on this site are absolutely beautiful--that fat enhances their beauty.



you ask why so emotional? it's indignation. What right do you have to tell me what a man should be? Would it be acceptable for me to tell all the ladies here that being obese made them less womanly? That the increased rates of infertility, diabetes, and skin conditions that they experience make it a-ok for me to treat them like second class citizens? Or better yet that I'm so lazy and unimaginative that we could never experience a fulfilling sex life? I could go for miles with the crap that I've seen spouted and affirmed by BBWs who say it's only a preference. It's not about preference it's about the underlying attitudes that always seem to accompany the preference.


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## KittyKitten (Apr 13, 2010)

stldpn said:


> you ask why so emotional? it's indignation. What right do you have to tell me what a man should be? Would it be acceptable for me to tell all the ladies here that being obese made them less womanly? That the increased rates of infertility, diabetes, and skin conditions that they experience make it a-ok for me to treat them like second class citizens? Or better yet that I'm so lazy and unimaginative that we could never experience a fulfilling sex life? I could go for miles with the crap that I've seen spouted and affirmed by BBWs who say it's only a preference. It's not about preference it's about the underlying reasons for the preference.




"Men tend to have a more muscular build, thus that is what many women like."

I never even said what I think YOU should be, but this is what I hear from many women--both small and large. Perhaps it is more than a preference, I do not know. Don't attack the messenger. But I can speak for myself and believe me I am proud of my curves. 

You are right, I have no right to tell you what a man should be, stldon, and I never did. 

Obviously this post goes deep for you.


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## stldpn (Apr 13, 2010)

happyface83 said:


> He has nothing to worry about, he is a good looking husky man.



:doh: Yes I'm a good looking fat dude. But don't you find it hypocritical that there is this unwritten rule about what kind of fat is "acceptable" on a man? Seriously WTF? What are we fat nazis now?


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## AnnMarie (Apr 13, 2010)

stldpn said:


> you ask why so emotional? it's indignation. What right do you have to tell me what a man should be? Would it be acceptable for me to tell all the ladies here that being obese made them less womanly? That the increased rates of infertility, diabetes, and skin conditions that they experience make it a-ok for me to treat them like second class citizens? Or better yet that I'm so lazy and unimaginative that we could never experience a fulfilling sex life? I could go for miles with the crap that I've seen spouted and affirmed by BBWs who say it's only a preference. It's not about preference it's about the underlying attitudes that always seem to accompany the preference.



She's wrong to speak that way about big guys, so harshly - but you're just as wrong to cast all that bullshit toward other BBW. And she's like one of out a thread of tons of people who responded that way. But you'll take her one example of being that way and use it for life to justify your bitter attitude towards fat women who don't prefer big guys?

Don't you see that as asinine?

It just seems like a sad way to expend energy, focusing on such negativity when there were so many women here who actually prefer big guys, and women here who don't, but also defended everyone's right - guy/gal/big/skinny/whatever - to not be shit on because of someone not being attracted to them. 

I think you want to see only the bad, and that's really unfortunate. Maybe it's a way you justify things, that we're all the fucked up ones so it's not your fault and you play no role in your perceived issues with large women? I don't know, not saying that's the case, but I have to wonder with all this steam.


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## AnnMarie (Apr 13, 2010)

stldpn said:


> :doh: Yes I'm a good looking fat dude. But don't you find it hypocritical that there is this unwritten rule about what kind of fat is "acceptable" on a man? Seriously WTF? What are we fat nazis now?




Whew - Godwin! Can we all go home now?


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## KittyKitten (Apr 13, 2010)

stldpn said:


> :doh: Yes I'm a good looking fat dude. But don't you find it hypocritical that there is this unwritten rule about what kind of fat is "acceptable" on a man? Seriously WTF? What are we fat nazis now?



Stldpn, the question was asked if I like fat on the opposite sex. I'm just stating what I prefer on a man. I can't help what I like. I admit I could have left out that 'whiny' part, but still it is what it is. I think as humans, we all have certain things we like and don't like. 

Even women have an unwritten rule on what kind of fat is unacceptable--is hourglass or pear shape better than apple? Is Raven Symone or Jennifer Hudson fat more acceptable than Monique before her weight loss? 

There is even an unwritten rule on unacceptable lightness or darkness in certain communities, etc. It goes on. You are taking this too personal.


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## mossystate (Apr 13, 2010)

WTF! There is NO " we ". I mean...really?!? Why is it still so hard to understand that there are fat people who can be a little/a lot jerky with how they vocalize what they like, and that is simply people being fully human...good and bad. I never EVER imagine that a fat person is going to be more understanding when it comes to ...anything. That's just me and my ' allowing ' fat people to be like anybody else.


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## KittyKitten (Apr 13, 2010)

Finally, I have no right to tell a man what he should be, but YOU have no right to judge me or any other woman as a self hater due to her preference. 

You sound like some black women I know who calls a black man a self hater because he happens to date a white girl. Same concept. 

We like who we like. With that said, have a good night.


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## stldpn (Apr 13, 2010)

happyface83 said:


> Finally, I have no right to tell a man what he should be, but YOU have no right to judge me or any other woman as a self hater due to her preference.
> 
> You sound like some black women I know who calls a black man a self hater because he happens to date a white girl. Same concept.
> 
> We like who we like. With that said, have a good night.



Several of these women wanted to know how a guy could get the impression that BBW are hypocritical. The fact that fat women single out fat and especially it's distribution on a man as a primary reason that he is less masculine is part of it. The fact that we as men have our own issues with body and fat makes us very aware of the self loathing that women are encouraged to participate in by society. The fact that I've actually seen it put in writing that some of you women feel that you're "beating the system" by getting thin partners. The entire package makes BHM say WTF.


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## AnnMarie (Apr 13, 2010)

Wait, I'm trying to hear you - so you are saying that you think fat women who go out with thin guys are doing it for trophies? Like "see what I got - betcha didn't think I could!" type thing?

I'm just checking. 

I really can't figure out what I find more insulting about that - our supposed motives, or the inability to grant us permission to have our own wants and desires. 

A gentleman for sure.


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## LoveBHMS (Apr 13, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Several of these women wanted to know how a guy could get the impression that BBW are hypocritical. The fact that fat women single out fat and especially it's distribution on a man as a primary reason that he is less masculine is part of it. The fact that we as men have our own issues with body and fat makes us very aware of the self loathing that women are encouraged to participate in by society. The fact that I've actually seen it put in writing that some of you women feel that you're "beating the system" by getting thin partners. The entire package makes BHM say WTF.



I'm just wondering about all the "nice" skinny women you passed over to even bother going to a BBW party. What i find funniest about this whole thread is you want to pursue women based on how they look and then get angry when you get chosen or not chosen based on how you look.

As far as fat distribution, there is a reason certain paysite girls make more money than others. A woman with an exagerated pear shape is going to appeal to certain FAs, as is a woman with a massive belly or massive breasts. Even men who like thin women usually have "types" and that often have to do with fat distribution or even just a particular look--a thin woman can be a busty Playmate, a waifish runway model, a hypertoned personal trainer, a thin but curvy model for Maxim or another mens' magazine, or just plain slender. Those are all very different looks and all have their admirers.

As far as somebody who'd see another person as nothing but a trophy and evidence of having "beaten the system", are you really interested in a woman that shallow and superficial?


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## Carrie (Apr 13, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I could go for miles with the crap that I've seen spouted and affirmed by BBWs who say it's only a preference. It's not about preference it's about the underlying attitudes that always seem to accompany the preference.





stldpn said:


> Several of these women wanted to know how a guy could get the impression that BBW are hypocritical. The fact that fat women single out fat and especially it's distribution on a man as a primary reason that he is less masculine is part of it.


It's sad that you assume that all fat women who date thin men feel this way about fat men, and I think it pretty well explains why you're so passionate about this. 

I know you must cringe whenever you read the "men are supposed to be muscular, therefore masculine" comments. I do, too. I also cringe whenever I read posts where thin women are characterized as "bony", "anorexic", or looking like little boys. And you'd better believe I cringe when I read posts by professed "FA"s who express disgust at women who are "sloppy fat" or possess characteristics common to most fat women, like this darling little gem, in the ironically titled thread, "Your favorite fat girl features". I don't think anybody here is immune to it, and it sucks when some people can't express what turns them on without expressing what turns them off. I wish they could. But don't you understand that that's not always the case? People who prefer redheads don't always think blonds are dumb. Men who prefer short women don't always think tall women are unfeminine. I'm sure it _feels_ very personal when you read the "fat men are less masculine" crap, but your assumption that any fat woman who is attracted to thin men does so because of some deep-seated hatred of or disgust for fat men is just really misinformed and unfortunate.


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## Tooz (Apr 13, 2010)

None of the options on this poll pertain to me. I do not feel the answers properly fit someone who prefers average to moderately chunk dudes.


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## Aust99 (Apr 13, 2010)

Tooz said:


> None of the options on this poll pertain to me. I do not feel the answers properly fit someone who prefers average to moderately chunk dudes.



I'm with you on this one Tooz...


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## DitzyBrunette (Apr 13, 2010)

I agree with both of you ladies above as well, so I just voted Yes. I like chubby guys and am not attracted to very thin men so since I do like some fat on a guy I figured Yes worked.


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## bigmac (Apr 13, 2010)

stldpn said:


> .... The fact that I've actually seen it put in writing that *some of you women feel that you're "beating the system" by getting thin partners*. The entire package makes BHM say WTF.




Don't try to say this isn't true. My ex accused me if deceiving her because I wasn't the thin person I represented myself to be (we met during a thin phase). She repeatedly told me she never wanted to be a fat couple -- being a fat couple would (in her mind) lead people to conclude that she couldn't do any better than a fat guy. And she's not alone -- for a lot of fat girls a thin boy friend is validation.

Ironically the 6'7" former Marine with washboard abs my ex chose as her next BF turned out to be an unemployable crack addict who in the end totally destroyed her life. In fact he messed her up so bad I can't even feel good about it.


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## Carrie (Apr 13, 2010)

bigmac said:


> Don't try to say this isn't true. My ex accused me if deceiving her because I wasn't the thin person I represented myself to be (we met during a thin phase). She repeatedly told me she never wanted to be a fat couple -- being a fat couple would (in her mind) lead people to conclude that she couldn't do any better than a fat guy. And she's not alone -- for a lot of fat girls a thin boy friend is validation.
> 
> Ironically the 6'7" former Marine with washboard abs my ex chose as her next BF turned out to be an unemployable crack addict who in the end totally destroyed her life. In fact he messed her up so bad I can't even feel good about it.


Are we really going to go here? I've dated three fat guys. One was a stellar person whom I liked very much but we had zippo physical chemistry, the other two I had significant physical chemistry with, but they were hiding wives. 

Assholes come in all shapes and sizes.


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## Weeze (Apr 13, 2010)

my money's on carrie for this one, boys


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## KittyKitten (Apr 13, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Several of these women wanted to know how a guy could get the impression that BBW are hypocritical. The fact that fat women single out fat and especially it's distribution on a man as a primary reason that he is less masculine is part of it. The fact that we as men have our own issues with body and fat makes us very aware of the self loathing that women are encouraged to participate in by society. The fact that I've actually seen it put in writing that some of you women feel that you're "beating the system" by getting thin partners. The entire package makes BHM say WTF.



Fat men do this all the time, *many *of them take thin women as 'trophies'. Don't give me that. How many times I've gone out and seen a fat chubby man dating some bony chick--stop lying like you've never seen it. I see this so much more than the reverse. 

They are trophies because Hollyweird says so and these weak minded men believe that tripe. But then again, who can I judge? That is their preference, right?


If a woman finds a fat man less masculine than a muscular one, how in the hell is that self loathing? Please tell me. Scientifically speaking, women have MORE BODY FAT (due to higher estrogen levels) than men and men tend to be more MUSCULAR to higher levels of the hormone testosterone and muscle mass.

So how in the hell is it self loathing if a woman chooses to have a mate that is muscular? According to her, muscular=masculine. That's not self hatred, that's a preference. 

Most of the men (black, latino, white, Arab, etc) I knew in my life are naturally attracted to women with 'meat on their bones' and who are curvaceous. Why? That is evolutionary biology. Study after study proves this theory. There is not a day that I don't go by without some dude staring at my large boobs, hips and ass lustfully (I'm not complaining). "Hey pretty lady, can I get your phone number", "you are beautiful", my boyfriend can't keep his hands off me. But I'm self loathing--whoa is me, huh? 

Throughout human history, men TENDED to find attraction with women with fuller figures. While women looked for fit and athletic mates or mates who were big and strong to protect them--not overly obese. This is how a human's brain is naturally wired.

It is only now many are warped by the vicious media to prefer bone thin models, but even then, most men I know don't go by that type of thinking unless they are brain washed by the media. 


No wonder many women on here stated their preference for muscular and tall males even though the women themselves were softer and fuller figured. 


You poo poo over the fact that many women on here don't want huge, soft bellied men. They are just going by natural biology and preference. 

My initial post was harsh because I was frankly sick and damn tired of hearing the complaints from super huge men about larger women not finding them attractive.


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## Weeze (Apr 13, 2010)

lol fight between stldpn and happyface is killing me


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## KittyKitten (Apr 13, 2010)

bigmac said:


> Don't try to say this isn't true. My ex accused me if deceiving her because I wasn't the thin person I represented myself to be (we met during a thin phase). She repeatedly told me she never wanted to be a fat couple -- being a fat couple would (in her mind) lead people to conclude that she couldn't do any better than a fat guy. And she's not alone -- for a lot of fat girls a thin boy friend is validation.
> 
> Ironically the 6'7" former Marine with washboard abs my ex chose as her next BF turned out to be an unemployable crack addict who in the end totally destroyed her life. In fact he messed her up so bad I can't even feel good about it.



Bigmac, I love you, my brother, but assholes come in all shape and sizes. Believe me. ALL shapes and sizes and races. That is why I learned to never prejudge a person. 

But I will never stay with a man if he is abusive and a jerk, nah, I have too much pride and love of myself for that! Your friend obviously had some issues. Deep issues.


Some fat girls need a thin boy for validation, right, but not all. For most it is a natural biological preference towards more muscular men.

And we sure as hell know that many fat men want a thin girl for validation 'cause they are brainwashed by Hollyweird!


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## Tooz (Apr 13, 2010)

Weeze said:


> lol fight between stldpn and happyface is killing me



I'm waiting for some prominent world location (or, hell, the whole world) to go up in a mushroom cloud


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## stldpn (Apr 13, 2010)

AnnMarie said:


> Wait, I'm trying to hear you - so you are saying that you think fat women who go out with thin guys are doing it for trophies? Like "see what I got - betcha didn't think I could!" type thing?
> 
> I'm just checking.
> 
> ...



You're going to make me thread surf to find the poster who put that out there aren't you? Because my assurance that it was put out there in a shockingly open way is never enough. 



Just_Jen said:


> ill completely admit that i am most attracted to skinny men.
> *I think for me it's the whole having something that you can't have (i.e. being skinny)..i just think it's plain hawt *
> 
> though obviously it all changes when personality is counted in too because then it could be anyone as long as they are amazing ^^



I think that there are definite reasons why a Fat FA would get the idea that BBW have very distorted criteria for what makes a good mate.


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## LovelyLiz (Apr 13, 2010)

stldpn said:


> You're going to make me thread surf to find *the poster *who put that out there aren't you? Because my assurance that it was put out there in a shockingly open way is never enough.



As Carrie has said, very eloquently, about five million times now - why fixate on what ONE poster said, and use that to confirm negative viewpoints? There are over 100 fat people who have said in the poll above that they like fat on a person of the opposite sex. Plenty of fat women (including me) who find all sizes of men hot. 

No one is denying that *some *fat women express their preferences for a thin partner in disrespectful or hurtful ways. Most people are saying, "Hey, it's good to be respectful when expressing preferences. Some fat people are. Some fat people aren't. That's just because fat people are people." 

So to take what one poster said and from that make claims about what BBWs in general are like? That's really unfair.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 13, 2010)

Carrie said:


> Ah, okay, so fat women attracted to thin men are hypocrites. So by that, ahh, logic, thin men attracted to fat women are hypocrites, too, yes?


WIN. I love faulty logic.

I'm married to an average-sized guy. However, I've dated all types. Size is never what jumps out at me. However, in rebelling against fat-stereotypical behavior, I refused to date very small very short men. The combination just isn't attractive to me personally anyway.


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## stldpn (Apr 13, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> I'm just wondering about all the "nice" skinny women you passed over to even bother going to a BBW party. What i find funniest about this whole thread is you want to pursue women based on how they look and then get angry when you get chosen or not chosen based on how you look.
> 
> As far as fat distribution, there is a reason certain paysite girls make more money than others. A woman with an exagerated pear shape is going to appeal to certain FAs, as is a woman with a massive belly or massive breasts. Even men who like thin women usually have "types" and that often have to do with fat distribution or even just a particular look--a thin woman can be a busty Playmate, a waifish runway model, a hypertoned personal trainer, a thin but curvy model for Maxim or another mens' magazine, or just plain slender. Those are all very different looks and all have their admirers.
> 
> As far as somebody who'd see another person as nothing but a trophy and evidence of having "beaten the system", are you really interested in a woman that shallow and superficial?



Well generally (since you've made the choice to talk about me I'm going to talk about myself and hope that you'll have the courtesy not to paint me as self centered) I don't pursue women based on how they look. Or I should say based on how fat they are. I've gone to dances and events where obviously the majority of people there were FAs and BBWs so I've been in that position of trying to make the strictly friendly conversation and being treated like a repulsive animal. I've also gone thru the more conventional social scenes and gotten numbers and dinner dates with reasonable amounts of success. I might have been turned down on occasion because they were disgusted by my size but they never made a point of telling me so. BBWs at those events told me flat out that their disinterest was weight related. 

Pay sites are not reality. And if we're using pay sites as a gauge of reality I'm not sure we're really in touch with it. To me the pay site area of this board is much more representative of the strictly FA population you have here. You can watch the viewer numbers rise and fall based on when they take lunch at the office. It seems the area is mostly wank fodder. And I don't really visit very often because I don't feel the need to add to the pile of "You're so hot" posts.

You do realize that many people want to marry above their station right? When I was in Boston there were ladies who would come from as far away as Somerville and Waltham to hang out in the bars near BUMC in the hope that they could score themselves a nice young "doctah." It's classless, but there are a lot of people who do it without even realizing they're doing it. The fact that BBW do it? not a big shock. The fact that they don't recognize it ? hypocritical to the extent that they talk about wanting someone to respect them as a woman when they make that many assumptions about what fat means on men


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## stldpn (Apr 13, 2010)

bigmac said:


> Don't try to say this isn't true. My ex accused me if deceiving her because I wasn't the thin person I represented myself to be (we met during a thin phase). She repeatedly told me she never wanted to be a fat couple -- being a fat couple would (in her mind) lead people to conclude that she couldn't do any better than a fat guy. And she's not alone -- for a lot of fat girls a thin boy friend is validation.
> 
> Ironically the 6'7" former Marine with washboard abs my ex chose as her next BF turned out to be an unemployable crack addict who in the end totally destroyed her life. In fact he messed her up so bad I can't even feel good about it.



I suppose I've been lucky enough that this has never been the issue for me. Unfortunately there are many ways that people use others to fulfill some sort of societal need to be in a relationship with someone who is better looking, more successful, etc. etc. Guys do it to, but it's disturbing when the same attitudes we're asked to dispel are reinforced by individuals seeking external validation.


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## stldpn (Apr 13, 2010)

happyface83 said:


> Fat men do this all the time, *many *of them take thin women as 'trophies'. Don't give me that. How many times I've gone out and seen a fat chubby man dating some bony chick--stop lying like you've never seen it. I see this so much more than the reverse.
> 
> They are trophies because Hollyweird says so and these weak minded men believe that tripe. But then again, who can I judge? That is their preference, right?
> 
> ...



Here we go again when a BHM has an issue it's because he's a whiny bitch right? He's the one that needs to change? Because his body state isn't "natural". I got news for you. This is the first time in history that such a large portion of the population has been this friggin fat. No matter what factors you blame it on it, you can't fall back on the "well this is what's natural."

We have worshiped the mother icons for thousands of years because women with fat deposits were more likely to bear children successfully. And we have also revered fat men because fat was a sign of successful hunting, farming, and wealth. Here and Now we as a society are pulling back on the stick and encouraging everyone to "think thin" because food is abundant. There's no "natural" argument that justifies a preference. There's only the underlying societal justifications.


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## Tooz (Apr 13, 2010)

Attn: Chunklebutt men-

Come see me. Talk to me. Maybe I take care of you.


...actually you do not have to be chunky, I might still be interested



Seriously this argument is never gonna end.


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## stldpn (Apr 13, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> As Carrie has said, very eloquently, about five million times now - why fixate on what ONE poster said, and use that to confirm negative viewpoints? There are over 100 fat people who have said in the poll above that they like fat on a person of the opposite sex. Plenty of fat women (including me) who find all sizes of men hot.
> 
> No one is denying that *some *fat women express their preferences for a thin partner in disrespectful or hurtful ways. Most people are saying, "Hey, it's good to be respectful when expressing preferences. Some fat people are. Some fat people aren't. That's just because fat people are people."
> 
> So to take what one poster said and from that make claims about what BBWs in general are like? That's really unfair.



It really galls you ladies that I can find postings right in the thread that actually illustrate my point doesn't it? BHMs are well aware that you ladies don't want to admit your prejudices openly. And the majority of us don't want to argue because BHMs are honestly willing to accept the conditional acceptance of the group with the hope that ladies might recognize we face many parallel issues. I've seen no end of women reporting that fat guys are always hypercritical of them and yet I've never seen it with my own eyes. I accept it and when it's put in front of me I attempt to remind myself to be more conscientious. 

But being a guy who honest to god has more interest in the type of person someone is internally, I don't abide well with the philosophy that says we shouldn't confront the prejudice of others. I don't get sidetracked by the fact that you throw it out there that bhms chase thin girls because I know that's nothing but apologetics for your own behavior. 

I'm not the one who continually insists that the attitudes don't exist or that BHM have no real issues they're just whiners. We tap dance around it all day but it's the truth. BHM are told by BBW constantly that being so skinny it's frightening is a preferred masculine body type.


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## That Guy You Met Once (Apr 13, 2010)

Tooz said:


> Attn: Chunklebutt men-
> 
> Come see me. Talk to me. Maybe I take care of you.
> 
> ...




But I'm over here. You're all the way over there.

Do you still think this could work out?


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## Carrie (Apr 13, 2010)

so one time? this fat guy? came up to me and was all, "ewww, you're fat!" and I'm all "yeah, you know you want some of this" and he's all "no I don't, fattymcfatfatfatterson," and I'm all, "oh". 

I really think he did, though.


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## stldpn (Apr 13, 2010)

Carrie said:


> so one time? this fat guy? came up to me and was all, "ewww, you're fat!" and I'm all "yeah, you know you want some of this" and he's all "no I don't, fattymcfatfatfatterson," and I'm all, "oh".
> 
> I really think he did, though.



So Jr High


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## mossystate (Apr 13, 2010)

stldpn said:


> It really galls you ladies that I can find postings right in the thread that actually illustrate my point doesn't it? BHMs are well aware that *you ladies don't want to admit your prejudices openly*. And the majority of us don't want to argue because BHMs are honestly willing to accept the conditional acceptance of the group with the hope that ladies might recognize we face many parallel issues. I've seen no end of women reporting that fat guys are always hypercritical of them and yet I've never seen it with my own eyes. *I accept it and when it's put in front of me *I attempt to remind myself to be more conscientious.
> 
> But being a guy who honest to god has more interest in the type of person someone is internally, I don't abide well with the philosophy that says we shouldn't* confront the prejudice of others*. I don't get sidetracked by the fact that you throw it out there that bhms chase thin girls because I know that's nothing but apologetics for your own behavior.
> 
> I'm not the one who continually insists that the attitudes don't exist or that BHM have no real issues they're just whiners. We tap dance around it all day but it's the truth. BHM are told by BBW constantly that *being so skinny it's frightening *is a preferred masculine body type.



I know I don't want to admit something I am not guilty of, but that is just me...and most of the other women in this thread. Errrrr. 

I accept that there is ugly shit said to fat men...as have many other women in this thread.

You are still saying that preference is a prejudice. No matter how many times you want to bring your personal issues into it, that is what you continue to do. You refuse to see how many fat women are on your side in terms of not being OK with any fat person being told they are not fine the way they/we are.

Being so skinny it is frightening? Wowza. This just screams that you are angry that not every woman is in a lineup for you. Way to mock another body type, while you complain about the same thing. Go you.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 13, 2010)

Carrie said:


> so one time? this fat guy? came up to me and was all, "ewww, you're fat!" and I'm all "yeah, you know you want some of this" and he's all "no I don't, fattymcfatfatfatterson," and I'm all, "oh".
> 
> I really think he did, though.


This really happened to me. In fact, the fattest boy in my 8th grade science class nick-named me Jupiter. And tortured me relentlessly. And got all his mongrel friends to join in. And he was secretly in love with me. Jr-High? Yeah. Oh and that nickname followed me all throughout high-school, courtesy of him.
Only thing is now it's 25 years later and he's still eating his words. And his heart out.


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## LovelyLiz (Apr 13, 2010)

stldpn said:


> It really galls you ladies that I can find postings right in the thread that actually illustrate my point doesn't it? BHMs are well aware that *you ladies don't want to admit your prejudices openly*. And the majority of us don't want to argue because BHMs are honestly willing to accept the conditional acceptance of the group with the hope that ladies might recognize we face many parallel issues. I've seen no end of women reporting that fat guys are always hypercritical of them and yet I've never seen it with my own eyes. I accept it and when it's put in front of me I attempt to remind myself to be more conscientious.
> 
> But being a guy who honest to god has more interest in the type of person someone is internally, I don't abide well with the philosophy that says we shouldn't confront the prejudice of others. I don't get sidetracked by the fact that you throw it out there that bhms chase thin girls because I know that's nothing but apologetics for your own behavior.
> 
> I'm not the one who continually insists that the attitudes don't exist or that BHM have no real issues they're just whiners. We tap dance around it all day but it's the truth. BHM are told by BBW constantly that being so skinny it's frightening is a preferred masculine body type.



About the bolded text above, I don't know if you'd like me to include photos of me making out with fat men (which has happened on more than one occasion, very, very recently)...or what would convince you that PLENTY OF BBWs ARE NOT PREJUDICED AGAINST FAT MEN????

All I'm trying to help you see is that there are no "you ladies" as you talk about BBWs -- BBWs are a diverse bunch. 

What is unclear about that?


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## Paquito (Apr 13, 2010)

Tsk tsk tsk, you crazy women, thinking you have the right to preferences, or even really having thoughts that are different from that of men.

Next thing you know, they'll be wanting to leave the kitchen.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 13, 2010)

free2beme04 said:


> Tsk tsk tsk, you crazy women, thinking you have the right to preferences, or even really having thoughts that are different from that of men.
> 
> Next thing you know, they'll be wanting to leave the kitchen.


Wait----isn't that what the ubiquitious THEY like about the general US--that we're DIFFERENT???


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## stldpn (Apr 13, 2010)

mossystate said:


> I know I don't want to admit something I am not guilty of, but that is just me...and most of the other women in this thread. Errrrr.
> 
> I accept that there is ugly shit said to fat men...as have many other women in this thread.
> 
> ...



I'm angry that some fat women think they're so slick nobody recognizes their bullshit. If you've ever talked some dumb nonsense about how a man is less attractive or less of a man because he's fat I'm talking about you. The fact that you continue to stand up and tell everybody that that isn't you or that everybody's a jerk sometimes or best yet that you just don't like whiny fat guys, well that lets me know there's a fair chance that at some point it might have been you that said something you are not very proud of now. I never said all BBW, I never said you personally. I named off characteristics and personal experiences. If the shoe fits wear it. I never said I was entitled to love or interest, just courtesy and respect, that must be too much to manage.


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## stldpn (Apr 13, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> About the bolded text above, I don't know if you'd like me to include photos of me making out with fat men (which has happened on more than one occasion, very, very recently)...or what would convince you that PLENTY OF BBWs ARE NOT PREJUDICED AGAINST FAT MEN????
> 
> All I'm trying to help you see is that there are no "you ladies" as you talk about BBWs -- BBWs are a diverse bunch.
> 
> What is unclear about that?



Oi, everyone's diverse, if you're not prejudiced why argue? The assumption that most fat men presume that they are entitled to be liked by a fat woman is prejudicial. The assumption that I'm whiny cos I'm fat prejudicial. The assumption that fat is less masculine prejudicial. The idea that I don't have every right to dislike the way I'm treated and have it acknowledged that I'm not imagining things or making them up? I didn't come up with these BBWs threw them back at me.


----------



## CastingPearls (Apr 13, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I'm angry that some fat women think they're so slick nobody recognizes their bullshit. If you've ever talked some dumb nonsense about how a man is less attractive or less of a man because he's fat I'm talking about you. The fact that you continue to stand up and tell everybody that that isn't you or that everybody's a jerk sometimes or best yet that you just don't like whiny fat guys, well that lets me know there's a fair chance that at some point it might have been you that said something you are not very proud of now. I never said all BBW, I never said you personally. I named off characteristics and personal experiences. If the shoe fits wear it. I never said I was entitled to love or interest, just courtesy and respect, that must be too much to manage.


You're right. You ARE entitled to courtesy and respect. Fat girls are no different than thin girls in their preferences, prejudices and even bigotry. We're just bigger. In an ideal world we should 'know better' because we share a common characteristic. However, it's not that simple. We are each the sum total of all our experiences and react and respond accordingly right or wrong. I hope that you find love with someone who appreciates you for everything you bring to the table, if you haven't already because you deserve it.


----------



## LovelyLiz (Apr 13, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Oi, *everyone's diverse, if you're not prejudiced why argue?* The assumption that most fat men presume that they are entitled to be liked by a fat woman is prejudicial. The assumption that I'm whiny cos I'm fat prejudicial. The assumption that fat is less masculine prejudicial. The idea that I don't have every right to dislike the way I'm treated and have it acknowledged that I'm not imagining things or making them up? I didn't come up with these BBWs threw them back at me.



To answer the above question: I am stating my disagreements in order to point out that the generalizations you are making about a group that I am a part of are untrue (as generalizations).


----------



## LoveBHMS (Apr 13, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I'm angry that some fat women think they're so slick nobody recognizes their bullshit. If you've ever talked some dumb nonsense about how a man is less attractive or less of a man because he's fat I'm talking about you. The fact that you continue to stand up and tell everybody that that isn't you or that everybody's a jerk sometimes or best yet that you just don't like whiny fat guys, well that lets me know there's a fair chance that at some point it might have been you that said something you are not very proud of now. I never said all BBW, I never said you personally. I named off characteristics and personal experiences. If the shoe fits wear it. I never said I was entitled to love or interest, just courtesy and respect, that must be too much to manage.



So you've basically paired down your argument to "some fat women have at some time been jerks to some fat men". I'm sure everyone on this board would agree with that.


----------



## bigsexy920 (Apr 13, 2010)

I haven't read this entire thread but it seems to me someone needs to get laid, by a thin guy, a fat guy, a fat girl and a thin girl. Not all together but hey if that's what you like go for it.


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## Fat Brian (Apr 13, 2010)

Fat people need the kind of solidarity midgets have. Midgets stick together man ! They always have each others tiny backs.

If a person has a bad attitude or is rude they just are, there isn't any point in wasting time over it. Fat women don't have to like fat men, end of story.


----------



## DitzyBrunette (Apr 13, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I never said I was entitled to love or interest, just courtesy and respect, that must be too much to manage.



*NO ONE HERE SAID YOU WERE NOT ENTITLED TO COURTESY AND RESPECT.*


JFC....


----------



## KittyKitten (Apr 13, 2010)

It’s funny how some men get all righteous when women have physical preferences for men, yet men can talk all day long about how a woman needs to stay in shape or in this situation how big and luscious she is, or have a certain shape, she must be hourglass, pear, nice big belly, have their hair looking good as well as other superficial things.

Yes, I know that men tend to be more visual than women (sometimes, now- don’t get it twisted), but I’m gonna need people to stop putting on their ethics caps when it suits them. 


Please, stop the damn whining. There's always something for everyone. We all have our special type we are most naturally attracted to. And unless you are a damn trained psychologist, you don't know squat about how someone feels about herself.


----------



## mossystate (Apr 13, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I'm angry that some fat women think they're so slick nobody recognizes their bullshit. If you've ever talked some dumb nonsense about how a man is less attractive or less of a man because he's fat I'm talking about you. The fact that you continue to stand up and tell everybody that that isn't you or that everybody's a jerk sometimes or best yet that you just don't like whiny fat guys, well that lets me know there's a fair chance that at some point it might have been you that said something you are not very proud of now. I never said all BBW, I never said you personally. I named off characteristics and personal experiences. If the shoe fits wear it. I never said I was entitled to love or interest, just courtesy and respect, that must be too much to manage.





Who is being slick? Seriously. Who. I see crap and it is right in the open. I don't like that YOU are whining about things you have no right whining about. Notice I didn't say that you do not have the right to ' whine ' when somebody is saying that fat men are not attractive, and not just saying THEY are not attracted to fat men. Whining is not what is happening when a person is calling out bad and rotten behavior. You are whining when you continue with the anger at women just not attracted to men who look like you. Again...a person saying " fat men are not masculine...are not attractive "...those people are asssssholes. A person saying, " I am not attracted to fat men, I like bodies that look like XYZ "....not assssssholes. 

And, the whole scary skinny comment from you tells me all I need to know about how much of this is about sour grapes. Separate the differences. Maybe.


----------



## bigmac (Apr 13, 2010)

bigsexy920 said:


> I haven't read this entire thread but it seems to me someone needs to get laid, by a thin guy, a fat guy, a fat girl and a thin girl. Not all together but hey if that's what you like go for it.




Good point -- unfortunately my wife's 200 miles away and won't be home till Friday -- so I guess I'll just bitch and moan till then.


----------



## AnnMarie (Apr 13, 2010)

All I know is that when you've got me, Mossy, and Loves all posting on the same side of something, you've got to see how far off the mark you are.


----------



## cinnamitch (Apr 13, 2010)

I have no problem f**kin a fat guy, (and enjoy it quite a bit), but damn there is no way i will ever do da deed with an OBNOXIOUS fat man. :batting::batting:


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## Tooz (Apr 13, 2010)

bigsexy920 said:


> I haven't read this entire thread but it seems to me someone needs to get laid, by a thin guy, a fat guy, a fat girl and a thin girl. Not all together but hey if that's what you like go for it.



I am the one who needs to get laid


----------



## bigsexy920 (Apr 13, 2010)

I generally more attracted to a big girl then a big guy..... so maybe we can work something out 



Tooz said:


> I am the one who needs to get laid


----------



## stldpn (Apr 14, 2010)

mossystate said:


> Who is being slick? Seriously. Who. I see crap and it is right in the open. I don't like that YOU are whining about things you have no right whining about. Notice I didn't say that you do not have the right to ' whine ' when somebody is saying that fat men are not attractive, and not just saying THEY are not attracted to fat men. Whining is not what is happening when a person is calling out bad and rotten behavior. You are whining when you continue with the anger at women just not attracted to men who look like you. Again...a person saying " fat men are not masculine...are not attractive "...those people are asssssholes. A person saying, " I am not attracted to fat men, I like bodies that look like XYZ "....not assssssholes.
> 
> And, the whole scary skinny comment from you tells me all I need to know about how much of this is about sour grapes. Separate the differences. Maybe.



:doh: You know we've already run through this portion of the argument like three pages ago I fit into the acceptable forms of fat guy, but wtf does that mean acceptable form of fat guy? that's only just more judgmental BS that's put on fat men by fat women.

I hear consistent criticism of BHMs who like small girls. But it's never fair when the shoe is on the other foot is it?


----------



## CastingPearls (Apr 14, 2010)

stldpn said:


> :doh: You know we've already run through this portion of the argument like three pages ago I fit into the acceptable forms of fat guy, but wtf does that mean acceptable form of fat guy? that's only just more judgmental BS that's put on fat men by fat women.
> 
> I hear consistent criticism of BHMs who like small girls. But it's never fair when the shoe is on the other foot is it?


Has it ever occurred to you that the reason why some people aren't attracted to you has NOTHING to do with your appearance?


----------



## mossystate (Apr 14, 2010)

stldpn said:


> :doh: You know we've already run through this portion of the argument like three pages ago I fit into the acceptable forms of fat guy, but wtf does that mean acceptable form of fat guy? that's only just more judgmental BS that's put on fat men by fat women.
> 
> I hear consistent criticism of BHMs who like small girls. But it's never fair when the shoe is on the other foot is it?



Hey, I never said I think you are acceptable!  Stldpn, I don't think you read that last post of mine...at all. That's cool, as I have skimmed a bit, myself.

Anybody who is angry that a fat boy merely says he is attracted to thin women...now actually read this...ok?...............that person needs to get a huge life...as does any fat boy who whines when a fat woman says she prefers thin men.

I like the sound of the palm of my hand as it spanks a dead horse. It's true...I do.


----------



## LoveBHMS (Apr 14, 2010)

stldpn said:


> :doh: You know we've already run through this portion of the argument like three pages ago I fit into the acceptable forms of fat guy, but wtf does that mean acceptable form of fat guy? that's only just more judgmental BS that's put on fat men by fat women.
> 
> I hear consistent criticism of BHMs who like small girls. But it's never fair when the shoe is on the other foot is it?



Where are these constant criticisms of BHM who like small girls? Where? Certainly not on the BHM/FFA board. Maybe there are some fat women who like fat guys and they get sad or frustrated when they get passed over for thin women, but disappointment that somebody isn't interested is far from criticism.

And what is up with this "shoe on the other foot" nonsense when a big part of this thread has been about fat women _rejecting_ fat men? Seriously? You've moved from "fat women are jerks to fat men because the fat women all want skinny men" to "fat men get criticized for being with skinny women." If the fat women don't even *want fat men in the first place* whyever would they be criticizing them for being with thin women? Wouldn't it be more like "good riddance. So glad the thin women took them off our hands."


----------



## LovelyLiz (Apr 14, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> You're right. You ARE entitled to courtesy and respect. Fat girls are no different than thin girls in their preferences, prejudices and even bigotry. We're just bigger. In an ideal world we should 'know better' because we share a common characteristic. However, it's not that simple. We are each the sum total of all our experiences and react and respond accordingly right or wrong. I hope that you find love with someone who appreciates you for everything you bring to the table, if you haven't already because you deserve it.





CastingPearls said:


> Has it ever occurred to you that the reason why some people aren't attracted to you has NOTHING to do with your appearance?



What a difference a day makes.


----------



## stldpn (Apr 14, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> Has it ever occurred to you that the reason why some people aren't attracted to you has NOTHING to do with your appearance?



Has it ever occured to you that I don't give a crap if someone isn't attracted due to chemistry? Chemistry is something you discover after you talk to someone. And guess what? generrally not a big issue for me.

Superficial ( I don't like them cuz they're... fat.. have a big nose... etc) those I get to hear from minute one. If you're going to berate me please make the attempt to understand the basic experiences that touched all of this off. The suggestion that I should "get laid" is a simple personal attack that has very little bearing on the actual issue. Getting laid is not my issue. It's treatment treatment treatment. And the fact that while everyone says that big guys deserve to be treated decently they still insist on attaching some kind of retarded barb to the comment. Ie you deserve to be treated well, but that's not really my fault that you get treated crappy? If I hadn't struck a nerve you'd just be quiet wouldn't you?


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## Tooz (Apr 14, 2010)

Hi stldpn

You remind me of someone.

Tooz


----------



## Paquito (Apr 14, 2010)

BothGunsBlazing said:


>





Tooz said:


> Hi stldpn
> 
> You remind me of someone.
> 
> Tooz



I solved the puzzle.


----------



## Aswani (Apr 14, 2010)

Well there's a few things we've learned from this thread.

* Physical attraction is a lot more important to women than many of us realized.

* We've accepted all of our life that the vast majority of fat men in the world may not necessarily be into fat women, but we don't accept that most fat women may not necessarily be into fat men.

My own personal view is that fat makes the body soft and cuddly and it creates extra curves, therefore it's more of a feminine characteristic. Fat on a man doesn't really add any extra masculinity to them, but in my opinion fat enhances a woman's femininity. A full butt and full bosoms looks superb on a woman. Not so much on a male. Of course this opinion is coming from a heterosexual FA's point of view.


----------



## Weeze (Apr 14, 2010)

God hates fat men.... and puppies.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 14, 2010)

Aswani said:


> Well there's a few things we've learned from this thread.
> 
> * Physical attraction is a lot more important to women than many of us realized.
> 
> ...



I think we've found our winner. I love it when someone acts like their whole world has gone topsy-turvy at the realization of the simple things. 

Don't take things for granted.


----------



## stldpn (Apr 14, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I think we've found our winner. I love it when someone acts like their whole world has gone topsy-turvy at the realization of the simple things.
> 
> Don't take things for granted.



Why don't you rep him for assuring us that fat men are indeed effeminate lumbering beasts too.


----------



## stldpn (Apr 14, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Where are these constant criticisms of BHM who like small girls? Where? Certainly not on the BHM/FFA board. Maybe there are some fat women who like fat guys and they get sad or frustrated when they get passed over for thin women, but disappointment that somebody isn't interested is far from criticism.
> 
> And what is up with this "shoe on the other foot" nonsense when a big part of this thread has been about fat women _rejecting_ fat men? Seriously? You've moved from "fat women are jerks to fat men because the fat women all want skinny men" to "fat men get criticized for being with skinny women." If the fat women don't even *want fat men in the first place* whyever would they be criticizing them for being with thin women? Wouldn't it be more like "good riddance. So glad the thin women took them off our hands."



I've seen it used as a justification no less than 6 times that fat men are ALWAYS chasing skinny chicks. I hate it when everyone spends their time composing the indignant response based on what they think has been said rather than reading what's been stated.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 14, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Why don't you rep him for assuring us that fat men are indeed effeminate lumbering beasts too.


I think fat men are masculine. I think fat men are hot. I think wildy insecure and paranoid fat AND thin men AND women are anal cavities.

And you know you care. Otherwise you wouldn't keep posting on this thread. You're in a pissing contest with yourself. 

And just because I respond to a thread doesn't mean someone struck a chord. I swat flies because they're infectious disease carrying parasites not because they make valid points.


----------



## stldpn (Apr 14, 2010)

happyface83 said:


> Its funny how some men get all righteous when women have physical preferences for men, yet men can talk all day long about how a woman needs to stay in shape or in this situation how big and luscious she is, or have a certain shape, she must be hourglass, pear, nice big belly, have their hair looking good as well as other superficial things.
> 
> Yes, I know that men tend to be more visual than women (sometimes, now- dont get it twisted), but Im gonna need people to stop putting on their ethics caps when it suits them.
> 
> ...



Can anyone here point to a post anywhere on the board where I've stated a specific preference? Search it... you won't find me talking about shelf butts or how big is big enough or how big is too big. 

How many times on average would you say that women here define their "preference" and opinion about what they think is sexy in an average week? I see you guys doing it even when it's unnecessary to do so. And much of the more overt and nasty stuff is directed toward other women. I'm not saying FAs don't do it. But I will say that from what I've seen the fat guys here are not very likely to get specific about what they want on the public parts of this forum. I know I don't. My preferences don't need to be publicized because I recognize that they are not only my own personal thoughts they could be considered offensive to others.


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## Blackjack (Apr 14, 2010)

stldpn said:


> And much of the more overt and nasty stuff is directed toward other women.



If that's the best example you can come up with, your argument is sorely lacking.


----------



## stldpn (Apr 14, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> I think fat men are masculine. I think fat men are hot. I think wildy insecure and paranoid fat AND thin men AND women are anal cavities.
> 
> And you know you care. Otherwise you wouldn't keep posting on this thread. You're in a pissing contest with yourself.
> 
> And just because I respond to a thread doesn't mean someone struck a chord. I swat flies because they're infectious disease carrying parasites not because they make valid points.



Does that qualify as a personal attack? I honestly know that the majority of women here will continue to assume they've never done anything wrong. Still it's interesting watching people desperately try to justify the multitude of anti-fat messages they put out. How do I know that women do this? Because men do it too. It's just that when we do it we get called out on it by other men. 

Men are told from our teenage years that we should consider carefully the way we treat women because that's someone else's mother, sister, auntie, or lover. At the same time, the response that I get frequently from women on this issue indicates that that kind of thinking only applies to men and the way they think about women. Consideration of men is something that's not done because even more so in the current culture men are not supposed to have feelings about their own bodies.


----------



## AnnMarie (Apr 14, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I hate it when everyone spends their time composing the indignant response based on what they think has been said rather than reading what's been stated.




Pot? Kettle.


----------



## stldpn (Apr 14, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> If that's the best example you can come up with, your argument is sorely lacking.



site specific to happyface. If you never had the opportunity to read her justifications about why it's ok for her to talk shit about someone she didn't even know you should consider it. There are some great punchlines in there


----------



## mossystate (Apr 14, 2010)

Stldpn, you must quake with fear and anger when you even see the titles of a million of the threads on this site. This place is all about the " what do you find sexy ". You wave away that ' fa's ' " do it ". You have lots of anger for the fat women who " do it ". 

When fa's do it.....I guess that's somehow not " offensive " ( I don't think talking about a preference is, in and of itself, offensive " ). Do you perhaps believe that fat people are to be forever silent...waiting to be noticed? 

Dims = a site to talk allllllllll about preference...in extreme detail. You really do not know this?


----------



## Blackjack (Apr 14, 2010)

stldpn said:


> site specific to happyface. If you never had the opportunity to read her justifications about why it's ok for her to talk shit about someone she didn't even know you should consider it. There are some great punchlines in there



The reasons why she's so amusing are the exact same reasons why she's a bad example for backing up your argument.


----------



## stldpn (Apr 14, 2010)

AnnMarie said:


> Pot? Kettle.



I'll smoke the pot, you can put the kettle on.


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## ampleampleample (Apr 14, 2010)

I like fat on them only if they like it themselves. Nothing more unattractive than someone who doesn't like themself.


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## stldpn (Apr 14, 2010)

mossystate said:


> Stldpn, you must quake with fear and anger when you even see the titles of a million of the threads on this site. This place is all about the " what do you find sexy ". You wave away that ' fa's ' " do it ". You have lots of anger for the fat women who " do it ".
> 
> When fa's do it.....I guess that's somehow not " offensive " ( I don't think talking about a preference is, in and of itself, offensive " ). Do you perhaps believe that fat people are to be forever silent...waiting to be noticed?
> 
> Dims = a site to talk allllllllll about preference...in extreme detail. You really do not know this?



Some FAs do it... I DON'T. Again find the post where I talk about how much I wanna spooge on a super size thigh. It doesn't exist because I don't do it and I really don't frequent the areas where it's encouraged. And trust me it's not encouraged everywhere on this board that's why we gave the FAs their little corner and another to the BBW. Now and then you get to see the fireworks from the Ladies telling some goob why it's not a nice thing to talk that way.

I never said it was ok but there are more than a few people on this site who will tell you that that kind of thing turns them on. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the weird one since that sort of thing seems to be a common turn on in the community.


----------



## stldpn (Apr 14, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> The reasons why she's so amusing are the exact same reasons why she's a bad example for backing up your argument.



Are you kidding me? She's a woman without a filter. She says the things she thinks without thinking about who they will offend. That makes her posts an ideal means of ascertaining what someone might say if they weren't so concerned about being called on it.

BTW I don't think that makes her a evil person though... but apparently I'm not as quick to judge someone I've never met.


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## Nutty (Apr 14, 2010)

Take this sword stldpn:


()======]================================>


It will defend your views!


----------



## mossystate (Apr 14, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Some FAs do it... I DON'T. Again find the post where I talk about how much I wanna spooge on a super size thigh. It doesn't exist because I don't do it and I really don't frequent the areas where it's encouraged. And trust me it's not encouraged everywhere on this board that's why we gave the FAs their little corner and another to the BBW. Now and then you get to see the fireworks from the Ladies telling some goob why it's not a nice thing to talk that way.
> 
> I never said it was ok but there are more than a few people on this site who will tell you that that kind of thing turns them on. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the weird one since that sort of thing seems to be a common turn on in the community.



I don't care whether or not you do it. That's the thing that is so odd about all this. You talk about how it's not nice to talk about specific preferences...and then you use an example about spooge.  There is a lil difference between a man saying he likes fat thighs...and going into great detail, whenever and wherever, about what he wants to dooooo with those thighs.

When you have a ' community ' that is very...very...focused on bodies....you are gonna see body talk inserted into lots of places. 

I like men with fabulous forearms and asses. 

FYI

The More You Know

dun-DUN-Daaaaa


----------



## CastingPearls (Apr 14, 2010)

mossystate said:


> I don't care whether or not you do it. That's the thing that is so odd about all this. You talk about how it's not nice to talk about specific preferences...and then you use an example about spooge.  There is a lil difference between a man saying he likes fat thighs...and going into great detail, whenever and wherever, about what he wants to dooooo with those thighs.
> 
> When you have a ' community ' that is very...very...focused on bodies....you are gonna see body talk inserted into lots of places.
> 
> ...


I like meaty calves. (and I'm not talking the bovine variety)


----------



## rougeherring (Apr 14, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Why don't you rep him for assuring us that fat men are indeed effeminate lumbering beasts too.



seeeeeriously... 

View attachment giveup.jpg


----------



## thatgirl08 (Apr 14, 2010)

I'm dying at that cat picture. Awesome first post sir.


----------



## CastingPearls (Apr 14, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> I'm dying at that cat picture. Awesome first post sir.


I second that emotion.


----------



## stldpn (Apr 14, 2010)

mossystate said:


> I don't care whether or not you do it. That's the thing that is so odd about all this. You talk about how it's not nice to talk about specific preferences...and then you use an example about spooge.  There is a lil difference between a man saying he likes fat thighs...and going into great detail, whenever and wherever, about what he wants to dooooo with those thighs.
> 
> When you have a ' community ' that is very...very...focused on bodies....you are gonna see body talk inserted into lots of places.
> 
> ...



See the thing is I like the chubby shoulders but i can only think of one other person that posts here who knows it. If you could show me where it is I've identified as a a strict FA I'd like to know it.


----------



## stldpn (Apr 14, 2010)

Tooz said:


> Hi stldpn
> 
> You remind me of someone.
> 
> Tooz



btw I've heard nothing but nice things about you too


----------



## stldpn (Apr 14, 2010)

rougeherring said:


> seeeeeriously...



seriously I'm touched that you would go through the trouble of searching through what I'm sure is a vast collection of cutesy kitten media but I do what I want.


----------



## mossystate (Apr 14, 2010)

stldpn said:


> See the thing is I like the chubby shoulders but i can only think of one other person that posts here who knows it. If you could show me where it is I've identified as a a strict FA I'd like to know it.



??????????

I don't care if you talk all the time about preferences...or not. Not doing it doesn't make you better....except perhaps to individual people. That's cool, but you are mad that there are people on this site who talk a lot about body parts. That's Dims' bread and butter. Seriously?


Along with asses and forearms...I love a nice pair of hands.


----------



## stldpn (Apr 14, 2010)

mossystate said:


> ??????????
> 
> I don't care if you talk all the time about preferences...or not. Not doing it doesn't make you better....except perhaps to individual people. That's cool, but you are mad that there are people on this site who talk a lot about body parts. That's Dims' bread and butter. Seriously?
> 
> ...



ok I'm not mad I'm disheartened and disgusted that a site that makes it's "bread and butter" on the premise that size is beautiful can house so many people that are so judgmental towards other people of size. The idea that fat men are less masculine, less sexy in their own right, and less entitled to support from their peers as human beings is an egregious attitude to be found on a site that's supposed to expose people to the idea that it's not only OK to be fat, fat can be sexy.


----------



## CastingPearls (Apr 14, 2010)

mossystate said:


> ??????????
> 
> I don't care if you talk all the time about preferences...or not. Not doing it doesn't make you better....except perhaps to individual people. That's cool, but you are mad that there are people on this site who talk a lot about body parts. That's Dims' bread and butter. Seriously?
> 
> ...


A thick neck. I'm a sucker for a thick neck and wide shoulders.


----------



## mossystate (Apr 15, 2010)

stldpn said:


> ok I'm not mad I'm disheartened and disgusted that a site that makes it's "bread and butter" on the premise that size is beautiful can house so many people that are so judgmental towards other people of size. The idea that fat men are less masculine, less sexy in their own right, and less entitled to support from their peers as human beings is an egregious attitude to be found on a site that's supposed to expose people to the idea that it's not only OK to be fat, fat can be sexy.



You have a rather small group of people who actually say things like, " fat men are less ' masculine ' "..." fat women are only sexy if the weight lands here or there...otherwise ...ew ".

Preferences are to be kept underwraps ( especially from women who are not attracted to fat men )...according to you. Good luck with beating your head against THAT wall on this site. Dang Schlang.


----------



## Nutty (Apr 15, 2010)

I dunno stldpn i think some of these ladies are digging ya.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 15, 2010)

Nutty said:


> I dunno stldpn i think some of these ladies are digging ya.


Very astute observation, Nutman.


----------



## Nutty (Apr 15, 2010)

Nutty is always trying to help.


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## DitzyBrunette (Apr 15, 2010)

Nutty is clearly drunk or something.


----------



## CastingPearls (Apr 15, 2010)

DitzyBrunette said:


> Nutty is clearly drunk or something.


Yeah. Gotta be careful when he gets all Yoda-y on us speaking in the third person.


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## Nutty (Apr 15, 2010)

Nutty will never tell


----------



## DitzyBrunette (Apr 15, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> Yeah. Gotta be careful when he gets all Yoda-y on us speaking in the third person.



I was referring to his not-so astute observation lol. He's only 19, I doubt he's really drinking. Maybe he bumped his head or something.


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## Nutty (Apr 15, 2010)

DitzyBrunette said:


> I was referring to his not-so astute observation lol. He's only 19, I doubt he's really drinking. Maybe he bumped his head or something.



damn she caught me :doh:


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## stldpn (Apr 15, 2010)

Nutty said:


> I dunno stldpn i think some of these ladies are digging ya.



It's not love don't get it twisted.


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## LoveBHMS (Apr 15, 2010)

stldpn said:


> ok I'm not mad I'm disheartened and disgusted that a site that makes it's "bread and butter" on the premise that size is beautiful can house so many people that are so judgmental towards other people of size. The idea that fat men are less masculine, less sexy in their own right, and less entitled to support from their peers as human beings is an egregious attitude to be found on a site that's supposed to expose people to the idea that it's not only OK to be fat, fat can be sexy.



As Mossy pointed out (and as AM said upthread, agreeing with her isn't exactly my bread and butter) FAT PEOPLE ARE JUST LIKE SKINNY PEOPLE. They have prejudices and biases and likes and dislikes and stuff they love and stuff that grosses them out. You're expecting way way way too much from fat women if you expect them to just be fonts of sweetness, light, and sensitivity. But beyond that, many FAs on here have fairly specific ideas regarding gender and size. Lots of the female FA have openly said they dont' want to be fat themselves because they like the idea of a small female/large male couple.

Heck, one prominent male poster outwardly said he thinks men should be lean and muscular and women should be as fat as possible. So the fuck what? That is his preference and his sexuality and his attitude. Do i as a FFA agree? Well no i dont. But again, so the fuck what? Everyone here is not monolithic. 

Whether the Paysite Board is real or fantasy, it still reveals male tastes. There are apple shaped girls whose sites are wildly popular, who make tons of money who still don't appeal to men who love huge breasts. There are young girls who get lavished with praise whenever they update, but they'd have zero appeal to MILFHunters. Some men love gaining and some don't care about it at all. 

Women of all sizes are the same way. NO they won't think everyone is sexy and NO they won't find everyone attractive or masculine.


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## stldpn (Apr 15, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Heck, one prominent male poster outwardly said he thinks men should be lean and muscular and women should be as fat as possible. So the fuck what? That is his preference and his sexuality and his attitude. Do i as a FFA agree? Well no i dont. But again, so the fuck what? Everyone here is not monolithic.



Again I'm being attacked for stating categorically that he has no right to tell me I'm less the man for being heavy? It crosses the line from preference to intentionally hurtful bullshit when it's stated as fact. The whole it's just not natural ass hat ideal. On more than a few occasions I've seen other people taken to task for attacking women in this nature, but I've seen scant evidence that the fat men here will ever enjoy the same treatment. 

Keep in mind that when we talk about masculinity we're talking about something that is more than sexual and more than preference. Men value masculinity as a source of honor, and personal pride. It is a source of virility in it's most positive forms. The bits that make us not only men but people who have the ability to hold our head high. Would we stand behind it and tell him he has a right to his opinion if he was talking about a gay man, a paraplegic, a stay at home dad, a jobless man, or god forbid a guy who was impotent for medical or physiological reasons? Would we say oh he has the right to his opinion? Using fat as a means to steal a part of someone's identity should never be excusable. It is the kind of derision that no one deserves.

I've become convinced over the course of years that the influence of the unattached FA on the size community has done more to pull us apart than bring us together. After all, for large people it's quite impossible for us to remain closeted about who we are. The idea that we have gained understanding from people who see us primarily as sexual objects and rarely consider our more human realities is dubious at best.


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## Tooz (Apr 15, 2010)

there's this thing, it's called diminishing returns


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## stldpn (Apr 15, 2010)

Tooz said:


> there's this thing, it's called diminishing returns



I heard about that it's kinda like when people have nothing to say that provides contradictory evidence but they just keep posting one liners hoping for rep fairies to come find them


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## Blackjack (Apr 15, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I heard about that it's kinda like when people have nothing to say that provides contradictory evidence but they just keep posting one liners hoping for rep fairies to come find them



Before you complain about people not providing evidence, you might want to show some yourself.


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## stldpn (Apr 15, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> Before you complain about people not providing evidence, you might want to show some yourself.



I've provided plenty of my own first hand accounts, I've provided examples in thread,and I've made as many attempts to reiterate the essence of my position with clarity for those that continue to struggle with my interpretation. But since you're not inclined to read any of those thoughts and reply in kind with something that isn't dripping with sarcasm toward me (because obviously the idea is probably less important to you) I see perfectly how you continually find yourself in a position to be judgmental concerning the value of other people and their comments.


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## Tooz (Apr 15, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I heard about that it's kinda like when people have nothing to say that provides contradictory evidence but they just keep posting one liners hoping for rep fairies to come find them



Who said I was looking for rep?

I was on your side at the beginning of this, but the more I read, the more it looked like whining. I'm just sick of seeing this as the most recent thread. Honestly, my advice to you is to let it die. You are never gonna convince them of anything, and the longer you go the more you approach William status.


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## stldpn (Apr 15, 2010)

Tooz said:


> Who said I was looking for rep?
> 
> I was on your side at the beginning of this, but the more I read, the more it looked like whining. I'm just sick of seeing this as the most recent thread. Honestly, my advice to you is to let it die. You are never gonna convince them of anything, and the longer you go the more you approach William status.



Actually I think I knew William from another group. The man I knew used a similar icon and was an advocate for men suffering with gynecomastia. A condition that probably caused him more psychological issues than most. If it's the same William I knew, he always seemed like a gentle enough soul to me. Perhaps the fault was not in the man but in the forum he chose to express himself. Perhaps his heart was hardened by life. On the other hand,the fact that he was inflexible and outspoken about certain things always made him unpopular, maybe the difference is that it didn't make him seem all that evil to me, I simply chose not to bash on him as a person. As I recall he wasn't too fond of mike the co-mod from the other site though, and I could barely blame him Mike was just as outspoken and he happily used his abilities to silence ideas he didn't like. So if it's the same william I knew... fine, I'd rather be like him, I rarely knew him to be quite as overwhelmingly critical concerning the quality of others as some of you guys appear to be toward him even though he's obviously not around to defend himself.


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## Tooz (Apr 15, 2010)

The funny thing is, I'd say most women here, at the very least, don't mind big men.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 15, 2010)

Tooz said:


> The funny thing is, I'd say most women here, at the very least, don't mind big men.


     That's what I've been saying all along.


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## Blackjack (Apr 15, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I've provided examples in thread



You have provided examples, but I'd hardly consider them damning (or even sufficient) evidence, considering that the only examples I've seen from you here are from someone who was only expressing their own preference in a non-hostile way; and someone who I'm still somewhat convinced is a troll. And while the latter has spoken at length in the thread, she has been criticized- often- for being such a bitch about it and other things. Not because she "has no filters", but because she is- get this- someone whose opinions are stated with insult.

And you have flat-out refused to seek evidence in the thread:



stldpn said:


> You're going to make me thread surf to find the poster who put that out there aren't you? Because my assurance that it was put out there in a shockingly open way is never enough.



You gave one example in that post: 



Just_Jen said:


> ill completely admit that i am most attracted to skinny men.
> I think for me it's the whole having something that you can't have (i.e. being skinny)..i just think it's plain hawt
> 
> though obviously it all changes when personality is counted in too because then it could be anyone as long as they are amazing ^^



Now, I may be reading this wrong, but it sounds like she's pretty clearly saying that she enjoys being with someone who has a body that's not like her own- not that she can't have a skinny guy and that's why she wants one. But then again, I'm not reading it as someone who's got a grudge against women who aren't attracted to fat guys.

Not only that, but I find it hard to believe that Jen is attempting to speak for anyone but herself and her own preferences. Wanna know what my first clue was?



Just_Jen said:


> *I think for me*



And just in case you didn't see it



Just_Jen said:


> *I think for me*



Tell me, how the fuck is this representative of what is apparently a systematic and society-wide mission to keep the fat guys down? Especially in the face of other comments in the thread stating _the exact opposite _of what you're claiming?



CastingPearls said:


> I think fat men are masculine. I think fat men are hot.





cinnamitch said:


> I have no problem f**kin a fat guy, (and enjoy it quite a bit)





mcbeth said:


> To get back on topic, yes, I like fat on men.





ChubbyPuppy said:


> I am a fat FFA. A FFFA I guess. Oh yay more silly acronyms. I'm just a fat chick who loves guys bigger than me.





StarWitness said:


> Re: Fat Men
> 
> "I'm sooooo into you..."



Not to mention the 73% of people in the poll who answered either "Yes" or "Generally yes".


Really, I think that the issue here isn't that you're a BHM, but rather the way you've acted here. It isn't your fat, it's _you_. Instead of lashing out at people who aren't attracted to you, try fixing the problem that is your personality.


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## LovelyLiz (Apr 15, 2010)

Aswani said:


> Well there's a few things we've learned from this thread.
> 
> * Physical attraction is a lot more important to women than many of us realized.
> 
> ...



I really liked the first part of your post - and found your key points of the thread to be helpful and on-target.

At the same time, that last paragraph is insensitive toward fat men. Yes, it's just a person stating an opinion, and it's stated blatantly as a personal opinion, but I can see how a fat man (who has moobs or a big booty or whatever) could find that to be rude and hurtful. And, there _is _a double standard when a post like this infamous one in the "favorite fat girl features" thread where the guy mentions things he dislikes about fat women raises countless replies saying that the poster is a jerk and everything he said sucks, etc. (which I am not disagreeing with at all); but the same kind of talk in reference to a fat men may not get people up in arms as much or as quickly.


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## stldpn (Apr 15, 2010)

Tooz said:


> The funny thing is, I'd say most women here, at the very least, don't mind big men.



I don't recall contradicting you on that. But here's something that may or may not be relevant depending on how you look at it... We should all be able to at least say that we don't mind fat people. After all, not minding is akin to not minding that he picks his teeth after dinner because you do it too. However, saying that you "don't mind" is also an admission that it's still an undesirable thing and that you "deal with it" because you have less sensitivity to it and you "don't mind."

There are plenty of people who "don't mind" fat guys. Just like there are plenty of men who "don't mind" fat gals. It takes a bit more to say that you have a preference and feel genuine affection for them and their bodies, true or not?

PS keep in mind nowhere in that statement did I say anyone had to have a preference for fat anything just that "not minding" is a far cry from lust


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## stldpn (Apr 15, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> Really, I think that the issue here isn't that you're a BHM, but rather that you have shown yourself to be nothing but an asshole on here. It isn't your fat, it's _you_. Instead of lashing out at people who aren't attracted to you, try fixing the problem that is your festering pus stain of a personality.



You know Blackjack I don't like you. I spent a long time trying to convince myself that you might have something relevant to say somewhere in the future but since you only come out to critique things in a way that makes it crystal clear that you'll never even be close to civil with me I'm calling it a draw and hoping nobody else quotes you in my presence.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 15, 2010)

Although my husband is average-size he has a number of BHM friends. One in particular offers intellectually stimulating conversation and shares the same musical, comedic and political tastes as I. I have to say I've fantasized about him more than once. I am guilty of the sin of lust, oh yes. But besides our marital statuses, even if I had a free pass I wouldn't hit that because the man is a neanderthal. Unless we (and I mean 'we' as our group of friends) stick to inane chit-chat, someone always ends up getting really annoyed because he is the most combative person I ever met and although I'm always up for a good heated debate his general attitude is so hostile and misguided it is impossible to carry on a normal conversation. Which is a shame because he knows his shit but is convinced nobody else does.


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## Saoirse (Apr 15, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> You have provided examples, but I'd hardly consider them damning (or even sufficient) evidence, considering that the only examples I've seen from you here are from someone who was only expressing their own preference in a non-hostile way; and someone who I'm still somewhat convinced is a troll. And while the latter has spoken at length in the thread, she has been criticized- often- for being such a bitch about it and other things. Not because she "has no filters", but because she is- get this- someone whose opinions are stated with insult.
> 
> And you have flat-out refused to seek evidence in the thread:
> 
> ...




:bow:

tried to rep, but cant.


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## Paquito (Apr 15, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> You have provided examples, but I'd hardly consider them damning (or even sufficient) evidence, considering that the only examples I've seen from you here are from someone who was only expressing their own preference in a non-hostile way; and someone who I'm still somewhat convinced is a troll. And while the latter has spoken at length in the thread, she has been criticized- often- for being such a bitch about it and other things. Not because she "has no filters", but because she is- get this- someone whose opinions are stated with insult.
> 
> And you have flat-out refused to seek evidence in the thread:
> 
> ...


I tried to give you the Orson Clapping GIF that is so deserved in this situation, but failed.


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## Tooz (Apr 15, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I don't recall contradicting you on that. But here's something that may or may not be relevant depending on how you look at it... We should all be able to at least say that we don't mind fat people. After all, not minding is akin to not minding that he picks his teeth after dinner because you do it too. However, saying that you "don't mind" is also an admission that it's still an undesirable thing and that you "deal with it" because you have less sensitivity to it and you "don't mind."
> 
> There are plenty of people who "don't mind" fat guys. Just like there are plenty of men who "don't mind" fat gals. It takes a bit more to say that you have a preference and feel genuine affection for them and their bodies, true or not?
> 
> PS keep in mind nowhere in that statement did I say anyone had to have a preference for fat anything just that "not minding" is a far cry from lust



Dude, I know you don't know me, but when I say "don't mind," I mean "would tap DAT ASS."

Also, what exactly are you hoping to accomplish here?


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## stldpn (Apr 15, 2010)

Tooz said:


> Dude, I know you don't know me, but when I say "don't mind," I mean "would tap DAT ASS."
> 
> Also, what exactly are you hoping to accomplish here?



wait I was supposed to have a map and a destination? not knowing me you might not know that aside from stirring people up I simply stick with threads for as long as they interest me. 

I continue to find it interesting that people who have never engaged in prejudicial behavior feel the need to continue to berated me and tell me that they don't do it. Many of the ladies here started by putting words in my mouth and telling me that mine is a strict case of sour grapes. The fact that they might have had this argument before does not mean that they've had it before with me. I keep getting asked questions some of them pertinent some not so much... I figure the fact that nobody's contacted me threatening me with banishment to williamland means I probably haven't done anything wrong.

Aside from that I find it interesting that everyone here seems to know william and hate his ideas so much that a year after him being banned you still bring him up in reference to almost any posting or poster you don't like. It sounds a little, I don't know ridiculously harsh. I can't imagine searching out someone's avatar and posting it all over the place a full year after they've been gone in an effort to talk smack about them on a friggin web board. I mean really? And ya'll are sayin I'm a creep?

Outside of blocking a few people that I actually kind of knew needed it before this thread I've remained pretty comfortable this entire time. I'm honestly not the kind of person who gets very physically worked up over things that go on on a message board. It is my opinion, and honestly the more ridiculously personal the attacks get the more I know that someone has run out of reasonable material with which to refute my thoughts. And when I say mine I mean mine. Not what william said, not what some other guy said, but what I said. 

So if you're asking what I get? I get the pleasure of knowing that I was right about a few people and pleasantly surprised to find out I might be wrong about a few others.


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## Tooz (Apr 15, 2010)

stldpn said:


> telling me that mine is a strict case of sour grapes.
> 
> 
> everyone here seems to know william and hate his ideas so much that a year after him being banned you still bring him up in reference to almost any posting or poster you don't like.



#1: It really looks like sour grapes to impartial people.

#2: It's not William's ideas that people hate, it's his inability to accept other viewpoints and NOT EVER SHUT UP, EVER that people hate.


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## Tad (Apr 15, 2010)

Tooz said:


> #1: It really looks like sour grapes to impartial people.
> 
> #2: It's not William's ideas that people hate, it's his inability to accept other viewpoints and NOT EVER SHUT UP, EVER that people hate.



QFT ^^^

(OK, nobody is truly impartial, but I have no stake in this argument, and the more I read of your posts the more I think "Wow, if he keeps digging his hole deeper, at this rate he'll be coming out in China soon." Then I wonder if China really is on the opposite side of the globe from where you are, and geography distracts me from the question of why some people won't accept that--right or wrong--they aren't going to win certain arguments).


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## CastingPearls (Apr 15, 2010)

I'm thinking possibly Australia.........

I don't know William and haven't the inclination to search the archives today.
I haven't been here long enough for anyone to contaminate me.

SDLTPN, I look at your profile pic and see that you are EXACTLY my physical type. Too bad you are your own worst enemy.


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## stldpn (Apr 15, 2010)

Tooz said:


> #1: It really looks like sour grapes to impartial people.
> 
> #2: It's not William's ideas that people hate, it's his inability to accept other viewpoints and NOT EVER SHUT UP, EVER that people hate.



impartial people like say? you? and not like say the handful of people who have been pming me to say that they get it, even though most of the ladies here won't because impartial is something that's highly problematic here. I don't see anyone I would consider impartial on this one yet. They all have a set opinion from the jump, starting from the pov that it's an imagined phenom despite the fact that they've supposedly seen the argument before. Flaming in force does not an argument make. 

Hmm from what I saw he posted mainly in the bhm board... granted I only looked at a few posts I'm not much for necromancy but anyway,quite frankly they don't seem to be spending a lot of time shit talking about him on the bhm board. Main boards I see his icon at least once every few weeks. It may be a gag, but still it's pretty much an asshole thing to do.


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## stldpn (Apr 15, 2010)

Tad said:


> QFT ^^^
> 
> (OK, nobody is truly impartial, but I have no stake in this argument, and the more I read of your posts the more I think "Wow, if he keeps digging his hole deeper, at this rate he'll be coming out in China soon." Then I wonder if China really is on the opposite side of the globe from where you are, and geography distracts me from the question of why some people won't accept that--right or wrong--they aren't going to win certain arguments).



there's a winner?


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## Tooz (Apr 15, 2010)

stldpn said:


> impartial people like say? you? and not like say the handful of people who have been pming me to say that they get it, even though most of the ladies here won't because impartial is something that's highly problematic here. I don't see anyone I would consider impartial on this one yet. They all have a set opinion from the jump, starting from the pov that it's an imagined phenom despite the fact that they've supposedly seen the argument before. Flaming in force does not an argument make.
> 
> Hmm from what I saw he posted mainly in the bhm board... granted I only looked at a few posts I'm not much for necromancy but anyway,quite frankly they don't seem to be spending a lot of time shit talking about him on the bhm board. Main boards I see his icon at least once every few weeks. It may be a gag, but still it's pretty much an asshole thing to do.



#1: I WAS impartial until I got sick of seeing this damn thread bumped. My thought pattern: "Oh, cool, a poll...hmm, none of the answers really apply to me." A few days pass: "There must be drama. The thread's still being bumped." I read it, and I went from agreeing with you to wondering why you keep going. There you have it.

#2: Saying "I GOT SO MUCH REP FOR X" or "PEOPLE PM ME IN AGREEMENT ABOUT X" is a weak argument. Have them post here if they agree so much.


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## stldpn (Apr 15, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> I'm thinking possibly Australia.........
> 
> I don't know William and haven't the inclination to search the archives today.
> I haven't been here long enough for anyone to contaminate me.
> ...



I'm not your type really... I smell funny and I use my toenails as weapons. 
Besides I've got a woman in my life that compliments my personality already.


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## stldpn (Apr 15, 2010)

Tooz said:


> #1: I WAS impartial until I got sick of seeing this damn thread bumped. My thought pattern: "Oh, cool, a poll...hmm, none of the answers really apply to me." A few days pass: "There must be drama. The thread's still being bumped." I read it, and I went from agreeing with you to wondering why you keep going. There you have it.
> 
> #2: Saying "I GOT SO MUCH REP FOR X" or "PEOPLE PM ME IN AGREEMENT ABOUT X" is a weak argument. Have them post here if they agree so much.



I bump lots of threads and frequently nobody ever bitches when I bump a pic thread but oh well...

I never said I got rep. And It's not my business to tell people that have already engaged in this argument here, on some other board or god forbid experienced it irl that they should speak up. But you know as well as I do that there's always more going on in pm land than you see in a thread. That's why you always get certain people (mostly fas) riding in to the rescue to show their supposed solidarity with the bbws.


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## Saoirse (Apr 15, 2010)

Now you know what its like to be a fat female and have society shit all over you.


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## stldpn (Apr 18, 2010)

Saoirse said:


> Now you know what its like to be a fat female and have society shit all over you.



Oh so now it's just easier to be a guy? Have you ever been a guy? How do you know? Comparison of miseries is also a weak argument or so I've been told. 

Besides that I'm the one standing here telling you that the people who only see you as a sexual object are the issue in this. There's ever so much more to men and women than what resides between the legs. As devout as you may be to the idea that BBWs all get a raw deal, that's how much I believe that fat people in general get a raw deal. The difference is when men point out that we're being marginalized and made to feel shitty about who we are even within this supposedly accepting movement, there's always going to be a contingent that calls us whiny and tells us it must be our shitty personality that keeps the BBWs away. Lo and behold it quickly becomes impossible to hold civil conversations on the matter, specially since once you write someone off personally it's ok to write their feelings off too.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 18, 2010)

I don't know....STPDIDIDO said he doesn't talk about his preferences on here....so it makes me wonder....has he ever been with a thin woman? Ever find one attractive? 
Answer honestly.


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## stldpn (Apr 18, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I don't know....STPDIDIDO said he doesn't talk about his preferences on here....so it makes me wonder....has he ever been with a thin woman? Ever find one attractive?
> Answer honestly.



I have honestly found several thin women attractive. Have I dated any skinny minnie girls? nope. Do I get a degree of secret satisfaction when the tiny asian waitresses at the chinese buffet rub my belly? sure.

But I don't tend to stay single for long periods. I date friends, coworkers, and acquaintances with whom I have something in common. And one of the biggest things I tend to have in common is a love of good food. You don't find that often in girls that obsess over their figure.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 18, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I have honestly found several thin women attractive. Have I dated any skinny minnie girls? nope. Do I get a degree of secret satisfaction when the girls at the chinese buffet rub my belly? sure.
> 
> But I don't tend to stay single for long periods. I date friends, coworkers, and acquaintances with whom I have something in common. And one of the biggest things I tend to have in common is a love of good food. You don't find that often in girls that obsess over their figure.



So....you have never dated a thin woman? If not, isn't that simply your prerogative and not "loyalty to fat people"?

Do you approve of people telling you who you can find sexually attractive or not?


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## stldpn (Apr 18, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> So....you have never dated a thin woman? If not, isn't that simply your prerogative and not "loyalty to fat people"?



I wouldn't call it loyalty only circumstances. Big girls want nothing to do with me, so it's not loyalty. Average ladies took me on because I have my shit together and they thought they might be able to talk me into losing later. It has a lot to do with attitude I figure. Men don't take on women as "projects." We don't see raw material just reality. There are realities we're willing to accept and others we find ill suited. I personally hold a deep and grudging sense that I'd rather engage in coitis without restraint.

I don't believe I've told anyone who they must find attractive. Only that there are more than a few reasons why a BHM would get the idea that BBW are hypocritical in their treatment toward fat men. Constant droning about how fat isn't masculine, it can give people all the wrong ideas apparently.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 18, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I wouldn't call it loyalty only circumstances. Big girls want nothing to do with me, so it's not loyalty. Average ladies took me on because I have my shit together and they thought they might be able to talk me into losing later. It has a lot to do with attitude I figure. Men don't take on women as "projects." We don't see raw material just reality. There are realities we're willing to accept and others we find ill suited. I personally hold a deep and grudging sense that I'd rather engage in coitis without restraint.
> 
> I don't believe I've told anyone who they must find attractive. Only that there are more than a few reasons why a BHM would get the idea that BBW are hypocritical in their treatment toward fat men. Constant droning about how fat isn't masculine, it can give people all the wrong ideas apparently.



Do you realize that.....lots aka the _majority_ of fat men don't find me attractive.....because I'm too fat? 
That's the bottom line.....no one has got to like me/find me attractive.
This knowledge doesn't bother me a bit.....because it gives me the same rights.....to not find _everyone_ attractive.

You don't seem like a wallflower....you said you have dated women. Hells Bells....your GF Lisa is gorgeous.
So....why so much angst over this subject? So what if someone was an asshole once upon a time? You know they're assholes.....and not worth this shit, right? 
You're not changing anyone or anything.....and wouldn't it be best to focus your attention/efforts on those that _do_ find you or other BHMs attractive? Do you really need the whole world to like you? 

I'm guessing the answer is no......


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## stldpn (Apr 18, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Do you realize that.....lots aka the _majority_ of fat men don't find me attractive.....because I'm too fat?
> That's the bottom line.....no one has got to like me/find me attractive.
> This knowledge doesn't bother me a bit.....because it gives me the same rights.....to not find _everyone_ attractive.
> 
> ...



Obviously I don't need anyone here to like me. My issue probably stems from the fact that I identify as an overt pansexual. And for that reason overt physical attraction is low on my list of priorities when I'm seeking a companion. Eye color and whether or not you have a six pack don't figure highly when what you're really looking for is someone that can discuss Titus without referencing the movie and yet they're not too uptight to sit through The Man with Two Brains. Plus you know, make some gestures as though they give a crap about your feelings.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 18, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Obviously I don't need anyone here to like me. My issue probably stems from the fact that I identify as an overt pansexual. And for that reason overt physical attraction is low on my list of priorities when I'm seeking a companion. Eye color and whether or not you have a six pack don't figure highly when what you're really looking for is someone that can discuss Titus without referencing the movie and yet they're not too uptight to sit through The Man with Two Brains. Plus you know, make some gestures as though they give a crap about your feelings.



So now I'm not entirely sure what your argument is about.....that some fat people prefer thin people and that is wrong or if looks don't matter when it comes to attraction. 
You have an attractive gf.....that tends to blow that second argument out of the water, wouldn't you say?


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## stldpn (Apr 18, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> So now I'm not entirely sure what your argument is about.....that some fat people prefer thin people and that is wrong or if looks don't matter when it comes to attraction.
> You have an attractive gf.....that tends to blow that second argument out of the water, wouldn't you say?



I have a ridiculously good looking gf. But having been raised by women, I know that the old jokes about women having to lift a tit to scratch their thigh have a grain of truth to them. As an aging man I'm finding myself less and less elastic. We can't all be jack lalaine. Finding pleasure in youthful flesh is a short lived hobby if the plan is monogamy.


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## LoveBHMS (Apr 19, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I have a ridiculously good looking gf. *But having been raised by women, I know that the old jokes about women having to lift a tit to scratch their thigh have a grain of truth to them.* As an aging man I'm finding myself less and less elastic. We can't all be jack lalaine. Finding pleasure in youthful flesh is a short lived hobby if the plan is monogamy.



This is possibly the single most disgusting and offensive thing i've ever read on this board. I have never head this "joke" and it's not even a little bit funny. If this is your attitude towards women THAT is your problem, not your own size or elasticity.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 19, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I have a ridiculously good looking gf. But having been raised by women, I know that the old jokes about women having to lift a tit to scratch their thigh have a grain of truth to them. As an aging man I'm finding myself less and less elastic. We can't all be jack lalaine. Finding pleasure in youthful flesh is a short lived hobby if the plan is monogamy.



Lol, and saggy balls ain't no better Sweets. You're off track again


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## stldpn (Apr 19, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> This is possibly the single most disgusting and offensive thing i've ever read on this board. I have never head this "joke" and it's not even a little bit funny. If this is your attitude towards women THAT is your problem, not your own size or elasticity.



Are you honest to god that big of a prude? You can find sentiments akin to that in a hallmark "maxine" card.





Aging is not pretty, it's not for the weak of heart or the ridiculously vain. And it's pretty much the reason why all the moaning about how much you love pretty boys is going to come to naught eventually.




Aging gracefully is more often a state of mind than it is a state of body.


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## stldpn (Apr 19, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Lol, and saggy balls ain't no better Sweets. You're off track again



I'm always off track


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## mossystate (Apr 19, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Aging is not pretty.....[snipper] And it's pretty much the reason why all the moaning about how much you love pretty boys is going to come to naught eventually.




Gee, are you not the fat man who so violently complains about those who proclaim fat men are less ' masculine '? Who say that it is not a simple preference ( and you have had many women agreeing with you ), but something carved in stone as ultimate truth?


You live in this society you say diminishes the fat guy. Here you are diminishing the natural aging body. Why are less elastic body parts so ' wrong '...so scary. Are they not just different...like...oh......the difference between your belly, and the tummy area of some " pretty boy " ( I think it is darn sad you don't think fat boys can be pretty boys, but I guess that is just your issue ). 

Dude...really.......you have soaked up what you have been told and seen about aging body parts not being attractive...and you are doing the exact thing you claim you so despise. Aging is not pretty. Fat men are not masculine. You are on the other side of a coin that spends like shit.

Go you.
:bow:

* aging gracefully....kinda like, fat boy...go put on a shirt


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## stldpn (Apr 19, 2010)

mossystate said:


> Gee, are you not the fat man who so violently complains about those who proclaim fat men are less ' masculine '? Who says that it is not a simple preference ( and you have had many women agreeing with you ), but something carved in stone as ultimate truth?
> 
> 
> You live in this society you say diminishes the fat guy. Here you are diminishing the natural aging body. Why are less elastic body parts so ' wrong '...so scary. Are they not just different...like...oh......the difference between your belly, and the tummy area of some " pretty boy " ( I think it is darn sad you don't think fat boys can be pretty boys, but I guess that is just your issue ).
> ...




Did I diminish the aging body? nope. I simply stated the obvious, if we're lucky we all end up looking that way. We all age, we all die, that's why the only parts of you that really matter are the bits that make you, you. Because when you're 80 years old you finally get to the real meat and potatoes of the fact that sex is really more about connection and the way we define our connection to others. If you're lucky enough you get to be that old couple walking down the street (sometimes one pushing the other in a wheelchair) that somebody else calls "cute." But the truth is sex, and what's sexy is defined a lot differently by that point. It's reality. It's why talking down about anyone else's body is so fucking immature and contrarian to the idea of finding lasting connections in life.


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## mossystate (Apr 19, 2010)

Aging is not pretty. It is not for the weak of heart.

Your words. 

Unless you were talking about physical health issues, your words certainly do smack of saying that aging bodies are not pretty bodies. You are now getting all philosophical, but the zing of your message was clear. That 80 year old might very well see beauty in her/his aged parts. Forms change and that means nothing more than that...or shouldn't mean more. As for the seeing old people as ' cute '....fuck that shit. They are not babies. They are adults with dreams and memories and desires. Again, we are fed this bullshit about youth being the only kind of beauty. It is a kind of beauty...not the kind. 


Then and Now pictures like the one you showed. Yeah, you were not saying more than you are admitting. " All your moaning "....you are just so angry that not every woman finds you hot. I think you find great satisfaction in what you think is a near rotting state of Arnie's body. You have gone so far away from rightfully being angry at those individuals who label fat men in ugly ways. I realize your head is never turned by certain bodies. I realize you are far above such things. Ummmmm. Yeah.
Anyway.....I know this is like holding sand while sitting in crashing waves.


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## stldpn (Apr 19, 2010)

mossystate said:


> Aging is not pretty. It is not for the weak of heart.
> 
> Your words.
> 
> ...



I live in an aging body. Most of us do, perhaps my size and desire to compete as an athlete have made some of this clearer to me than to you. I was a guy who played football. I am a guy who only wants to play "catch" now. Arnold's deterioration is normal, natural and in line with the facts of life for everybody else. 

Since you're bound and determined to make the assumption that I'm some sort of senior citizen hating ogre. I'll simply remind you. I'm not the one who's been pushing societal standards like "muscles are masculine, fat is feminine." Your ability to jump on anybody else is, well, limited quite a bit by your desire to stand behind that. A preference for athletic men is a preference right in line with what entertainment tonight tells you is beautiful.

I'm not old by most standards. And yet there are things my body doesn't do quite as well as it did at 18. Indigestion has become a regular reality. Hangovers hurt more. And the list goes on even though I'm only in my mid 30s. My diabetes adds to the list of complications and their severity I'm sure, but the fact remains "I ain't as good as I once was." 

Bottom line, pansexual, fat, tall, opinionated, it's all me. My life partner is the only one who becomes obligated to accept all of it. Everyone else, they just need to understand the fact that their preferences don't give them the right to treat anybody like shit at first sight, including me.


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## LoveBHMS (Apr 19, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Did I diminish the aging body? nope. I simply stated the obvious, if we're lucky we all end up looking that way. We all age, we all die, that's why the only parts of you that really matter are the bits that make you, you. Because when you're 80 years old you finally get to the real meat and potatoes of the fact that sex is really more about connection and the way we define our connection to others. If you're lucky enough you get to be that old couple walking down the street (sometimes one pushing the other in a wheelchair) that somebody else calls "cute." But the truth is sex, and what's sexy is defined a lot differently by that point. It's reality. It's why talking down about anyone else's body is so fucking immature and contrarian to the idea of finding lasting connections in life.



Bull fucking shit.

For one, if i ever called an older person "cute" i'd hope to be smacked into next week because it's rude.

For another, your idea that physical beauty must not coexist with "connection" is ridiculous. Young people can, and do, establish meaningful connections with one another, present OR absent sexual attraction. And that old couple? Why the fuck do you think there was ever a book called "Sex After Sixty"? You referenced a repulsive joke about women's bodies, so i'll reference another old and TRUE joke.

Young girl asks her 85 year old grandmother how old you have to be to stop enjoying sex. Grandma says "Child, you'll have to ask somebody older than me."

If you only want to play catch, that's on you. I live in MA and today was the Boston Marathon. The local paper ran an article on older runners, spotlighting a 71 year old woman who is the defending marathon champion in her age group. The same article noted that the oldest registrant for the marathon is 83. If an 83 year old can run a marathon that YOU can do more than play catch. If you lack the motivation or drive to remain active in sports, that's your issue. Other manage to do it; there are tons of masters athletes in sports ranging from running to swimming to crew. Advances in exercise and nutritional science have given us NFL players active well into their late 30's, and i recall a champion swimmer from the last Olympics who was around 40 and competing with those half her age.

And as for Arnold's "deterioration" keep in mind he took a lot of drugs as a youth and was not in any way naturally muscular.


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## mossystate (Apr 19, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I'll simply remind you. I'm not the one who's been pushing societal standards like "muscles are masculine, fat is feminine." Your ability to jump on anybody else is, well, limited quite a bit by your desire to stand behind that. A preference for athletic men is a preference right in line with what entertainment tonight tells you is beautiful.



The rest of your post was the more of your backpedaling, so I will leave it. You have rigid views of bodies...whodathunkit...not you.

Where the fuck have I said...implied...stood behind...ANYBODY saying that muscles are this and that, fat is that and there? Where. I haven't. In fact, I said right away that that kind of attitude and belief is bullshit. 

A preference for athletic men ( who are not all on the smaller side ) is in line with what one is told is beautiful? It cannot possibly be that those who like that, like it because it speaks to them, and at the same time follow and flow with the normal tides of age..etc..? Really? Can't possibly be that lean lines speak to them, and they love to look at that. Must be that they are mindless robots who allow themselves to be with people they are not truly attracted to. I guess when you post pictures of yourself shirtless...here...you are doing that simply because it was warm in the room.

Soooooooooooo, the only people who are mavericks and do not obsess over certain types and parts are the ones who like The Fat? Weird how I am forever seeing how those who are attracted to fat people are ' hardwired '.

lololololol


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## stldpn (Apr 19, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Bull fucking shit.
> 
> For one, if i ever called an older person "cute" i'd hope to be smacked into next week because it's rude.
> 
> ...



For clarification, I said you'd be lucky to live long enough to be called cute.

I also told you that the joke had a grain of truth concerning the realities of an aging body. Things fall, the adipose bits go first, it's just the way of the world if you don't know it you've got rude shocks ahead. 

I was an internist who treated mostly diabetic clients if you think I've never ordered a sexual health screening for a 80 year old patient in a nursing home and made it sound like something that was routine  It happens. But it only happens because people that age are often in need of connection.

I'm familiar with the boston marathon, I'm also familiar with the fact that they have age groups, they have age groups because a 70 year old doesn't trot as fast as a 20 year old. People who run the marathon at 80 and compete in the Olympics at 40 are the exception not the rule. Please remember too that generation x is the first generation in over 200 years forecast to at a younger age than their forebears.

I still train but not with the idea that I'm going to out-muscle a 20 year old or break my neck in a contact sport.

As per arnie there are several men his age who are also showing their age. Jack nicholson and bob redford do come to mind.


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## mossystate (Apr 19, 2010)

Ok..I see way too much of trying to make it seem that young is the model ( like thin is the model to many )...and that old people should aspire to keep as ' young ' as possible. I do not admire more the old person who runs marathons. That would mean I looked down on the old person who cannot, or does not wish to do such a thing. It's not something you see everyday, but it is not ' better '. For the record....so not my point. I am saying that like fat people, old people, including the bodies they have...are not more or less....they just....are...and those bodies are no less lovely than side by side pictures of a tree in full bloom, and a tree with no leaves...lines different, but not less than.

Many believe that fat people are those who are basically going to seed. Eh, whatcha gonna do.


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## joswitch (Apr 19, 2010)

stldpn said:


> *snip* BHM are told by BBW constantly that being so skinny it's frightening is a preferred masculine body type.



*coughs*
Just a footnote:

Actually verrrrry skinny blokes often run into exactly the same kind of you're-not-masculine rejection you're talking about*... 
I know this, cos I once was that thin...
which is why, at 35lbs heavier now, I laugh my ass off when someone calls me "skinny"! Hah! they don't know from "skinny"....

Carry on.

(*I get the feeling that extreme body type has become more generally acceptable since I was a teen, with emo and all that)...


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## joswitch (Apr 19, 2010)

DitzyBrunette said:


> Nutty is clearly drunk or something.



There's what 14! pages of this? Drunk seems like a good plan, in context...


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## stldpn (Apr 19, 2010)

joswitch said:


> There's what 14! pages of this? Drunk seems like a good plan, in context...



It's been going for days too... I've been through a few captain n cokes since the beginning here.


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## joswitch (Apr 19, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> If you only want to play catch, that's on you. I live in MA and today was the Boston Marathon. The local paper ran an article on older runners, spotlighting a 71 year old woman who is the defending marathon champion in her age group. The same article noted that the oldest registrant for the marathon is 83. If an 83 year old can run a marathon that YOU can do more than play catch..



OT... Marathons - WTF! - 26 fucking miles! Is it just me who thinks WOAH! SCREW that let's get a taxi, or a bus... Or at the very least a bicycle.... Or if we have to - let's walk it - y'know, with some sitting down for lunch...
I mean the first guy who ran a marathon keeled over and DIED straight after!
And people do this shit for fun! 

/end pet rant


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## DitzyBrunette (Apr 19, 2010)

joswitch said:


> There's what 14! pages of this? Drunk seems like a good plan, in context...



It does, so I propose we all shut up and have some rum and coke and get along. 



stldpn said:


> It's been going for days too... I've been through a few captain n cokes since the beginning here.



I don't bother typing anything regarding the disagreement anymore because this is clearly an agree-to-disagree situation. I commend you for your stamina though lol. It's an interesting read, no one can deny that.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 19, 2010)

Funny how some threads make us want to break out the booze. LOL I've had one or four dirty martinis myself throughout the hilarity.


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## Saoirse (Apr 19, 2010)

zomg! i just remembered that i have whiskey in my purse!!


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## Scorsese86 (Apr 19, 2010)

Saoirse said:


> puppies rock.



Saoirse rocks.


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## Carrie (Apr 19, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Everyone else, they just need to understand the fact that their preferences don't give them the right to treat anybody like shit at first sight, including me.


Bingo. And not one person arguing with you in this thread, myself included, has disagreed with this statement; in fact, most of us have agreed with it heartily and said it ourselves. Ironically, I think you've been so hell-bent on broad-brush labeling those of us with preferences as prejudiced and fat-hating that you don't (or won't) recognize that.



I am so going to hate myself tomorrow for posting in this thread again.


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## Scorsese86 (Apr 19, 2010)

DitzyBrunette said:


> It does, so I propose we all shut up and have some rum and coke and get along.



Diet coke and Jack Daniels' is my poison of choice.


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## stldpn (Apr 19, 2010)

Carrie said:


> Bingo. And not one person arguing with you in this thread, myself included, has disagreed with this statement; in fact, most of us have agreed with it heartily and said it ourselves. Ironically, I think you've been so hell-bent on broad-brush labeling those of us with preferences as prejudiced and fat-hating that you don't (or won't) recognize that.
> 
> 
> 
> I am so going to hate myself tomorrow for posting in this thread again.



Let's not open the BS talk about what you "think" my motivations are again, you don't even know what I've been thru today, if you could read my mind you'd bring me a hot plate and a cold beer and leave it at that.:doh:


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## CastingPearls (Apr 19, 2010)

Would anyone else like one?


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## Nutty (Apr 19, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> Would anyone else like one?



Shaken not stirred.


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## DitzyBrunette (Apr 19, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> Would anyone else like one?



Make it an apple martini, take out that olive and YES.




Nutty said:


> Shaken not stirred.



You have a few years to go before we can corrupt you so you can watch but nor partake


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## Nutty (Apr 19, 2010)

DitzyBrunette said:


> Make it an apple martini, take out that olive and YES.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Who says I haven't partaken in those kinds of things


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## DitzyBrunette (Apr 19, 2010)

Nutty said:


> Who says I haven't partaken in those kinds of things



Well who am I to judge, I had my first drink at 16. Ok, 15. That's the truth.


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## Nutty (Apr 19, 2010)

DitzyBrunette said:


> Well who am I to judge, I had my first drink at 16. Ok, 15. That's the truth.



16 
......


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## DitzyBrunette (Apr 19, 2010)

You're a bad boy Nutty. 
We all seem to like it though so carry on.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 19, 2010)

Oh good God, you people are all pikers. LOL I was 7. My parents had a dinner party. They all stepped into the kitchen for some 'thing' and I drained every glass in the room. Then lit the couch on fire. This would not be my last (or most interesting) alcohol induced exploit.


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## Nutty (Apr 19, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> Oh good God, you people are all pikers. LOL I was 7. My parents had a dinner party. They all stepped into the kitchen for some 'thing' and I drained every glass in the room. Then lit the couch on fire. This would not be my last (or most interesting) alcohol induced exploit.



Whoa!  You certainly can heat things up!

I think the most I drank last weekend was 4 medium cups of vodka, 3 beers, 8 culilos, finished off 3/4 a bottle of Captain Morgan, and wine that i mixed with coffee creamer ( I was drunk). I Threw up twice to make room. But i won't do that again till next weekend


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## mossystate (Apr 20, 2010)

Approx 13...swiped a bottle of Cold Duck ( urp ) on Christmas Eve.....gluggluglglug...jumped on my bed for half an hour....puked in every room of the house...Ok, maybe 3/4 of the rooms.............spent Christmas morning on couch, not able to open my gifts. My parents did not get angry, but they were not proud. Can't say they were proud.


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## Nutty (Apr 20, 2010)

mossystate said:


> Approx 13...swiped a bottle of Cold Duck ( urp ) on Christmas Eve.....gluggluglglug...jumped on my bed for half an hour....puked in every room of the house...Ok, maybe 3/4 of the rooms.............spent Christmas morning on couch, not able to open my gifts. My parents did not get angry, but they were not proud. Can't say they were proud.



ouchy!!


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## LovelyLiz (Apr 20, 2010)

Yes, I like fat on the opposite sex.


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## Tooz (Apr 20, 2010)

stldpn said:


> you don't even know what I've been thru today, if you could read my mind you'd bring me a hot plate and a cold beer and leave it at that.:doh:



I'm pretty sure she wouldn't.


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## stldpn (Apr 20, 2010)

Tooz said:


> I'm pretty sure she wouldn't.



You know I find it interesting the person who complained first about the thread being bumped is the one who now insists on bumping it now. Keep pushing it I'm sure the other ladies will thank you.


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## That Guy You Met Once (Apr 22, 2010)

Move along. Nothing to see here.


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## SuperSizedAngie (Apr 29, 2010)

I love men and women of all shapes and sizes, especially bigger men  Bigger women are my second favorite.... It's so much fun being able to cuddle up nice and close with someone without having bones sticking out anywhere.


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## gobettiepurple (Apr 30, 2010)

*I've been attracted to men of all sizes, but it seems like before I found Dims, I had never really heard of skinny guys that were attracted to plump women . . . So most of the guys that have showed interest in me were themselves of a larger persuasion.*


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## CastingPearls (Apr 30, 2010)

That's interesting because only in the past few years did I realize that there are a lot more BHMs that like BBWs than I thought.


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## CPProp (Apr 30, 2010)

SuperSizedAngie said:


> I love men and women of all shapes and sizes, especially bigger men  Bigger women are my second favorite.... It's so much fun being able to cuddle up nice and close with someone without having bones sticking out anywhere.



So happy you said that I was starting to think I was the only one who disliked the feeling of bones - thank you


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## Aurora (Apr 30, 2010)

For me there's nothing better than cuddling under the covers with another soft body like my own. <3

That said, I'm physically attracted to a variety of shapes and sizes, but I always feel _comfortable _with fellow fatties.


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## stldpn (Apr 30, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> That's interesting because only in the past few years did I realize that there are a lot more BHMs that like BBWs than I thought.



I know very few BHMs who would flatly refuse to take a chance on a BBW. However, I'd say it's roughly half and half just like many other things. Half of them don't mind her weight, and the other half really love her fat.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 30, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I know very few BHMs who would flatly refuse to take a chance on a BBW. However, I'd say it's roughly half and half just like many other things. Half of them don't mind her weight, and the other half really love her fat.


Good to know. I don't want to be with anyone who 'doesn't mind' my anything. It's almost like overlooking a flaw IMO. Love me or hate me, I'm an all or nothing woman.


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