# I WISH they wouldn't do that: (F)FA version



## thatgirl08 (Jan 23, 2011)

Don't you wish they were all more stylish?


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## superodalisque (Jan 23, 2011)

great thread idea in general, yes i do. it would show a respect of BBWs and BHMs much better. i know its a matter of personal tastes etc... and i respect that people are not all made of exterior ecoutrements, but i would love it when people show up looking in a way so to impress a BBW or BHM. so many people just think we (BBWs BHMs) should just take what we can get. its nice when people who are admirers and supporters don't show up in ways that make us look as though we play into that stereotype. i don't think its too much to ask someone to show up looking washed, groomed and as though they put a little thought into how they looked because fat folk are worth it. that would go a long way towards creating an atmosphere where fat people would feel more like displaying some of the self esteem that others often feel they seem to lack. actually feeling valuable enough to require more of that definitely would. it can be awfully depressing to show up somewhere in a ballgown and have your counterparts show up in an old tee and jeans and not quite looking or smelling fresh.


btw: Thanks to the folks who always show up and make an effort! you are wonderful!


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 23, 2011)

Yeah, that's a common complaint about bashes I've heard. I've never been to one, but I've seen lots of picture and the girls are always so well dressed.. and most of the guys are too, but then there's always a few that come with jeans with holes and 5 oclock shadow. It's disrespectful really. It just plays into the whole idea that you need to put in less effort to woo a fat woman.


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## cinnamitch (Jan 23, 2011)

Don't overdo it on the Cologne and styling products. Honestly I am fine with a good clean soap smell and i hate running my fingers through hair and feeling either an oil patch or getting my fingers stuck in the hair.


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## Shosh (Jan 23, 2011)

thatgirl08 said:


> Yeah, that's a common complaint about bashes I've heard. I've never been to one, but I've seen lots of picture and the girls are always so well dressed.. and most of the guys are too, but then there's always a few that come with jeans with holes and 5 oclock shadow. It's disrespectful really. It just plays into the whole idea that you need to put in less effort to woo a fat woman.



I think it is important for men to take the time to put themselves together for these kind of occasions. So agreed!

There is a time and place for jeans and a t shirt, and guys can look hot in those, but they should make an effort to look good for social occasions. No doubt.


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## Famouslastwords (Jan 23, 2011)

cinnamitch said:


> Don't overdo it on the Cologne and styling products. Honestly I am fine with a good clean soap smell and i hate running my fingers through hair and feeling either an oil patch or getting my fingers stuck in the hair.



Heck most guys I dated wouldn't even let you TOUCH their hair, that says something!


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## ThatFatGirl (Jan 23, 2011)

Isn't this thread kind of the same as this thread?


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## AmazingAmy (Jan 23, 2011)

That thread is about things we want them to do, while this one is about things we don't want them to do. It'll probably procure similiar answers, but it's still worth seeing what happens.

Ditto on the making an effort thing. I know that's something that can be applied across the board, not just FAs, but I have got the impression from some FAs that fat women don't need to be impressed because they should be grateful for whatever they can get, yadda yadda. It's not true - we want well groomed partners and definitely won't settle.

Nothing else comes to mind yet that's FA specific...


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 24, 2011)

ThatFatGirl said:


> Isn't this thread kind of the same as this thread?



In a way. This thread is intentionally loaded though. Reference the "I wish BBWs wouldn't do that" thread.


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 24, 2011)

To be serious for a second though, I've found certain aspects of sex to be less fulfilling with an FA. I hate to make sweeping generalizations, but I'm going to anyway because that's sorta what this thread is about. In my experience, FAs tend to be significantly more hesitant to do certain things that most people would consider a normal part of sex.. i.e. touching/playing with each other, oral, trying different positions, etc. It's easy to write it off as it just being the people I've been involved with, but it just seems like from what I've heard from other girls, things that have been said on this board, and my own experiences, that the fat stuff becomes the foreplay and the focus and replaces these other aspects of sex. I wish FAs wouldn't do that.


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## The Orange Mage (Jan 25, 2011)

This thread has the potential of being the best, let's not let it die, now.


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## Dromond (Jan 25, 2011)

thatgirl08 said:


> To be serious for a second though, I've found certain aspects of sex to be less fulfilling with an FA. I hate to make sweeping generalizations, but I'm going to anyway because that's sorta what this thread is about. In my experience, FAs tend to be significantly more hesitant to do certain things that most people would consider a normal part of sex.. i.e. touching/playing with each other, oral, trying different positions, etc. It's easy to write it off as it just being the people I've been involved with, but it just seems like from what I've heard from other girls, things that have been said on this board, and my own experiences, that the fat stuff becomes the foreplay and the focus and replaces these other aspects of sex. I wish FAs wouldn't do that.



Now this is the sort of thing I was hoping to see in this thread.


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## The Orange Mage (Jan 25, 2011)

Agreed, and her point is one I know I've been guilty of before. Eh, it's what happens when you're a liposexual (to borrow a term from Blackjack I think?) first and a heterosexual second. (In this I mean chronologically and not in terms of intent. I'm saying I knew I was an FA way before I knew what sex was in the slightest.)


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## bigmac (Jan 25, 2011)

thatgirl08 said:


> Don't you wish they were all more stylish?



I have to wear a suit and tie all week. Dockers and a Polo shirt are the best anyone's going to get out of me on the weekend.


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## Blackjack (Jan 25, 2011)

The Orange Mage said:


> Eh, it's what happens when you're a liposexual (to borrow a term from Blackjack I think?) first and a heterosexual second.



It was, and thank you for using it.

Also, agreed, unfortunately. The disconnect with sexual desires can and will cause issues like that.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jan 25, 2011)

thatgirl08 said:


> To be serious for a second though, I've found certain aspects of sex to be less fulfilling with an FA. I hate to make sweeping generalizations, but I'm going to anyway because that's sorta what this thread is about. In my experience, FAs tend to be significantly more hesitant to do certain things that most people would consider a normal part of sex.. i.e. touching/playing with each other, oral, trying different positions, etc. It's easy to write it off as it just being the people I've been involved with, but it just seems like from what I've heard from other girls, things that have been said on this board, and my own experiences, that the fat stuff becomes the foreplay and the focus and replaces these other aspects of sex. I wish FAs wouldn't do that.



(I'm not saying this to be a bitch and just disagree with you...) I just find this really interesting, as this hasn't been my experience at all. I've been with 4 FAs, and I can honestly say none of them were like that at all. Maybe part of it is that it's just not possible to be having sex with an ultra-size (500+) woman and not be willing to try different positions? The same thing is not always going to work.


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## Christov (Jan 25, 2011)

Most sexual positions are uncomfortable or hilarious. 

During my adventures in screwing, I have only found three that were any good.

Just saying.


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## Dromond (Jan 25, 2011)

Christov said:


> Most sexual positions are uncomfortable or hilarious.
> 
> During my adventures in screwing, I have only found three that were any good.
> 
> Just saying.



Let me guess: Missionary, doggy, and cowgirl.


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## Christov (Jan 25, 2011)

Dromond said:


> Let me guess: Missionary, doggy, and cowgirl.


Yes, yes, no.


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## Dromond (Jan 25, 2011)

Okay then, I got nuthin. Only the first two have ever worked for me. I was wild-ass guessing on the third.


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## Christov (Jan 25, 2011)

The third is one where the lady crosses her legs and lifts them up. It's in the Kama Sutra, and if you haven't got any lube, you're in for an uncomfortable journey.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jan 25, 2011)

Scissors and folded deck chair work for me pretty well. LINKS ARE NOT SAFE FOR WORK OR KIDS: http://www.sexinfo101.com/foldeddeckchair.shtml http://www.sexinfo101.com/sp_scissors.shtml

Edit: I take it back, it's not quite scissors. It's a modified version.


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## Christov (Jan 25, 2011)

On an unrelated note; does anybody get annoyed when you're having sex but slowly slipping out of position because you can't get any traction on the bedsheets?


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## cinnamitch (Jan 25, 2011)

Christov said:


> On an unrelated note; does anybody get annoyed when you're having sex but slowly slipping out of position because you can't get any traction on the bedsheets?



Um if you are on the bed turn around so she is at the foot of the bed and you can plant your feet against the headboard or wall( if there is no headboard).Gives you added push power


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## Christov (Jan 25, 2011)

cinnamitch said:


> Um if you are on the bed turn around so she is at the foot of the bed and you can plant your feet against the headboard or wall( if there is no headboard).Gives you added push power


Tried that, but in reverse. I thrusted a bit too hard and my partner hit her head on the wall.

We laughed.

Well, I did.


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## cinnamitch (Jan 25, 2011)

Christov said:


> Tried that once. I thrusted a bit too hard and my partner hit her head on the wall.
> 
> We laughed.
> 
> Well, I did.



Well if she is turned around at the foot of the bed she shouldn't hit a wall. Unless the foot of the bed is against a wall


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## AmazingAmy (Jan 25, 2011)

Christov said:


> On an unrelated note; does anybody get annoyed when you're having sex but slowly slipping out of position because you can't get any traction on the bedsheets?



Have sex on a bouncey castle from now on.


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## Dromond (Jan 25, 2011)

Try lower threadcount sheets.


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## penguin (Jan 25, 2011)

AmazingAmy said:


> Have sex on a bouncey castle from now on.



That sounds fun.


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## CastingPearls (Jan 25, 2011)

AmazingAmy said:


> Have sex on a bouncey castle from now on.


THIS is on my bucket list.


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 26, 2011)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> (I'm not saying this to be a bitch and just disagree with you...) I just find this really interesting, as this hasn't been my experience at all. I've been with 4 FAs, and I can honestly say none of them were like that at all. Maybe part of it is that it's just not possible to be having sex with an ultra-size (500+) woman and not be willing to try different positions? The same thing is not always going to work.



That's interesting. I've been with three FAs and found it to be true for the ones I was with (and I can't think of any specific examples at the moment but I KNOW I've heard that before on this board.) 

You make a good point though about the positions at your size. The only time I've really had people be creative with positions (excluding my current boyfriend who isn't an FA) is when things weren't working in whatever position we were doing because of my size. 

It's possible that my experiences have more to do with age.. my FA partners & I have always been between the ages of 17 and 21. It could just be an experience thing. The only reason I tend to not lean towards this as an explanation is because I've had sexual experiences (not necessarily sex but in that realm) with a handful of non-FAs and never found that to be true for them.

The other thing I thought of was that maybe it has something to do with the fact that I was the first fat girl for all three of the FAs I slept with.. so maybe they were just like, overwhelmed (I hate to use this word because it makes me sound vain and stupid but I can't think of how else to word it) by being with a fat girl for the first time. Not that I think I'm the shit or anything, but I remember the first time I did anything with a feeder (which at the time was the main component in my sexuality.. as I would assume being with a fat girl is to an FA).. it was intense, and overwhelming, because a lot of the things I had been wishing to come true were suddenly actualizing in front of me.

Also, all three were feeders. Maybe feeders are more inclined to focus on just fat than guys that just identify as FAs? 

The experiences I had with all three FAs/feeders were fantastic and I wouldn't trade them because they played a vital role in my sex life at the time, but I guess in a way I've moved past that to want different things.. or at least to want certain things more. Feederism/fat fetishism will always be in the back of my mind somewhere but in the current moment I really want different positions, oral, long makeout sessions, toys, and having sex in crazy places.. the things most people would consider to be in the realm of normal-ish. And, I've found it extremely difficult (impossible, actually) to find an FA that has those similar interests. With the way I currently feel about sex, my boyfriend and I are definitely on the same page more than I would be with any of the people I've been with in the past despite the fact that he is not an FA and has zero interest in feederism.


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 26, 2011)

Christov said:


> Most sexual positions are uncomfortable or hilarious.
> 
> During my adventures in screwing, I have only found three that were any good.
> 
> Just saying.



Lots of those complicated karma sutra ones are uncomfortable/hilarious but really.. only 3?! haha. I have a solid 8 or so I like on a regular basis but I'm always open!


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## AmazingAmy (Jan 26, 2011)

I can only do three positions - a version of dogy style where I'm almost lying on my front; the spoon; and what that 101 website calls the drill. And a few variations of the drill like the deckhair, etc - though my last partner only ever wanted to do the drill. I can't actually do plain old missionary as I have a lot of fat my inner thighs (wow, I'm going on about that a lot lately, sorry, it just keeps being relevant).

I wish I could do/try more positions, but I've always been in circumstances where the guy (FA or not) either gave up right away or got too comfortable with the position that works best (the drill) and didn't want to try anything else. It makes me sad as I feel that no one will ever have the patience.  I know that's not specifically an FA problem, but it was the first time with a fat girl for the last FA I was with, and I could tell that he really hadn't expected it to be a challenge. He hadn't even considered fantasy vs reality, and he just acted so embarrassed sometimes.

I hope my next FA partner has a little more patience with me.


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## Oirish (Jan 26, 2011)

I just can't understand this "lack of patience" I've heard mention of a few times now. When I'm with a girl I LOVE to experiment and try new things! Finding out what works with a particular girl is so variable from one to the next. That's what makes it so much fun  
Anyone who doesn't want to put in the effort to see what gets their partner off is likely a boring lay. I know this is a cliche but I enjoy myself most when I know I'm satisfying my partner. What can I say, I like to feel like a stud (not that I am). Nothing in the world like a job well done


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## Dr. Feelgood (Jan 26, 2011)

Oirish said:


> I enjoy myself most when I know I'm satisfying my partner. What can I say, I like to feel like a stud (not that I am). Nothing in the world like a job well done




IMO this _makes_ you a stud!


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## ThatFatGirl (Jan 26, 2011)

AmazingAmy said:


> I can only do three positions - a version of dogy style where I'm almost lying on my front; the spoon; and what that 101 website calls the drill. And a few variations of the drill like the deckhair, etc - though my last partner only ever wanted to do the drill. I can't actually do plain old missionary as I have a lot of fat my inner thighs (wow, I'm going on about that a lot lately, sorry, it just keeps being relevant).
> 
> I wish I could do/try more positions, but I've always been in circumstances where the guy (FA or not) either gave up right away or got too comfortable with the position that works best (the drill) and didn't want to try anything else. It makes me sad as I feel that no one will ever have the patience.  I know that's not specifically an FA problem, but it was the first time with a fat girl for the last FA I was with, and I could tell that he really hadn't expected it to be a challenge. He hadn't even considered fantasy vs reality, and he just acted so embarrassed sometimes.
> 
> I hope my next FA partner has a little more patience with me.



I hope so too! Judging from the couple of photos I've seen of you, I think the issue is more with your partner than with your thighs. My thighs are.. well, trust me when I say considerably wider than yours, I'm certain. Missionary has never been a problem with any of my partners throughout the years (and at various weight levels) with one exception and his penis was about the size of my thumb. I don't know.. patience goes a long way, as do pillows and varying angles. Find a patient guy, practice, play and have fun - I'm sure your position repertoire will grow.


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## CastingPearls (Jan 26, 2011)

AmazingAmy said:


> I can only do three positions - a version of dogy style where I'm almost lying on my front; the spoon; and what that 101 website calls the drill. And a few variations of the drill like the deckhair, etc - though my last partner only ever wanted to do the drill. I can't actually do plain old missionary as I have a lot of fat my inner thighs (wow, I'm going on about that a lot lately, sorry, it just keeps being relevant).
> 
> I wish I could do/try more positions, but I've always been in circumstances where the guy (FA or not) either gave up right away or got too comfortable with the position that works best (the drill) and didn't want to try anything else. It makes me sad as I feel that no one will ever have the patience.  I know that's not specifically an FA problem, but it was the first time with a fat girl for the last FA I was with, and I could tell that he really hadn't expected it to be a challenge. He hadn't even considered fantasy vs reality, and he just acted so embarrassed sometimes.
> 
> I hope my next FA partner has a little more patience with me.


Amy, trust me, it's not your thighs. It's the men. I have very large thighs and am able to enjoy quite a few positions. It's them, not you.


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## AmazingAmy (Jan 26, 2011)

ThatFatGirl said:


> I hope so too! Judging from the couple of photos I've seen of you, I think the issue is more with your partner than with your thighs. My thighs are.. well, trust me when I say considerably wider than yours, I'm certain. Missionary has never been a problem with any of my partners throughout the years (and at various weight levels) with one exception and his penis was about the size of my thumb. I don't know.. patience goes a long way, as do pillows and varying angles. Find a patient guy, practice, play and have fun - I'm sure your position repertoire will grow.





CastingPearls said:


> Amy, trust me, it's not your thighs. It's the men. I have very large thighs and am able to enjoy quite a few positions. It's them, not you.



I hope so. I'm beginning to get really down about the amount of women on here - plenty of them much bigger than me - who aren't having the trouble I am. I wish I could afford to go back to the gym and work on the strength in my legs in case that helps.

Ack, I just want to meet a new FA and get these doubts out of the way. :doh:


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## joswitch (Jan 26, 2011)

thatgirl08 said:


> Yeah, that's a common complaint about bashes I've heard. I've never been to one, but I've seen lots of picture and the girls are always so well dressed.. and most of the guys are too, but then there's always a few that come with jeans with holes and 5 oclock shadow. It's disrespectful really. It just plays into the whole idea that you need to put in less effort to woo a fat woman.



Or, maybe they are bohemian rocker types who don't care about clothes and only wear a posh shirt at a wedding and a suit for funerals? *cough*:blush:

Either way, if you're someone who's bothered or put off by scruffy men, how great to be able to chose not to pay them any attention from the very first moment you meet them!
You can give them the body swerve in favour of the nice-clothes guys and not waste any time with those scruffbags!


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## AmazingAmy (Jan 26, 2011)

Aw Joswitch, you're not sore that some people like to see a minimum show of effort, are you? It's hardly unreasonable.


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## joswitch (Jan 26, 2011)

thatgirl08 said:


> To be serious for a second though, I've found certain aspects of sex to be less fulfilling with an FA. I hate to make sweeping generalizations, but I'm going to anyway because that's sorta what this thread is about. In my experience, FAs tend to be significantly more hesitant to do certain things that most people would consider a normal part of sex..* i.e. touching/playing with each other, oral, trying different positions, etc. *It's easy to write it off as it just being the people I've been involved with, but it just seems like from what I've heard from other girls, things that have been said on this board, and my own experiences, that the fat stuff becomes the foreplay and the focus and replaces these other aspects of sex. I wish FAs wouldn't do that.



Really??? How bizarre.

Well, we're Not All Like That.

Although some of us are scruffy.


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## joswitch (Jan 26, 2011)

Christov said:


> Most sexual positions are uncomfortable or hilarious.
> 
> During my adventures in screwing, I have only found three that were any good.
> 
> Just saying.



Mish. Doggy. Her on top. 
Right?


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## joswitch (Jan 26, 2011)

Dromond said:


> Let me guess: Missionary, doggy, and cowgirl.



Yup. somemorechars


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## joswitch (Jan 26, 2011)

Christov said:


> The third is one where the lady crosses her legs and lifts them up. It's in the Kama Sutra, and if you haven't got any lube, you're in for an uncomfortable journey.



Oh, never tried that. Kama Sutra is mostly a huge piss take, I reckon, after having read it.

Three other good 'uns IMexperience:

4 - "Butterfly" I think it's called (her lying back body on bed, feet on floor, fella kneeling on floor).

5 - Don't know what it's called, but when you start in Mish or Butterfly and then she pulls / you push her knees up to her shoulders (ish).

6 - "Knee trembler" - her braced against the wall with hands, legs spread. Kinda like doggy stood up. You need to be similar heights / leg lengths and have good strength/stamina. Hehehe. Happy memories.


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## The Orange Mage (Jan 26, 2011)

Multi-quote. Can you has?


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## joswitch (Jan 26, 2011)

AmazingAmy said:


> Aw Joswitch, you're not sore that some people like to see a minimum show of effort, are you? It's hardly unreasonable.



Nope. Each to their own. 

When I turn up for a date / night-out I will have showered and shaved, my clothes will be clean, but I almost certainly won't look like anyone's "stylish" or "well-groomed". No-one has ever described me as such. Lolz!

(This has zero to do with my being an FA. I hatehatehate wearing high / tight collars, suits and ties.)

And yeah, my most fave, comfy rockingest jeans evAR have HUGE holes in the knees. Cos they're old and I cannot find any that fit like them anywhere to replace them, but I love them and I'm not chucking them out. 

I claim MicroRockStar immunity to all dress codes. I turn up to weddings in my best double-chinese-dragons shirt (when I am sat out of the way at the back) and tell people they're good luck. They are, too. At least it has a collar.  


Altho' I will be dragooned into a monkey suit as joint-best-man for my bro's upcoming wedding. I can stand it for one damn day, you have to tow the line when you're in the actual wedding party.


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## The Orange Mage (Jan 26, 2011)

I have a my own funky style but even I, when confronted with my brother's wedding, cut off most of my hair I'd been growing for over two years, shaved off the neckbeard, and got a damn fine lookin' suit. I looked damn good!


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## joswitch (Jan 26, 2011)

AmazingAmy said:


> I can only do three positions - a version of dogy style where I'm almost lying on my front; the spoon; and what that 101 website calls the drill. And a few variations of the drill like the deckhair, etc - though my last partner only ever wanted to do the drill. I can't actually do plain old missionary as I have a lot of fat my inner thighs (wow, I'm going on about that a lot lately, sorry, it just keeps being relevant).
> 
> I wish I could do/try more positions, but I've always been in circumstances where the guy (FA or not) either gave up right away or got too comfortable with the position that works best (the drill) and didn't want to try anything else. It makes me sad as I feel that no one will ever have the patience.  I know that's not specifically an FA problem, but it was the first time with a fat girl for the last FA I was with, and I could tell that he really hadn't expected it to be a challenge. He hadn't even considered fantasy vs reality, and he just acted so embarrassed sometimes.
> 
> I hope my next FA partner has a little more patience with me.



Patience on both sides IS a really big deal with teh sexay - agreed. 
Especially the first couple times when either / both of you are probably well nervous.

A willingness to try something else when A, B, C or even G aren't going to plan is pretty essential too.

Sure you'll find someone with such qualities soon, Amy!


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## joswitch (Jan 26, 2011)

The Orange Mage said:


> I have a my own funky style but even I, when confronted with my brother's wedding, cut off most of my hair I'd been growing for over two years, shaved off the neckbeard, and got a damn fine lookin' suit. I looked damn good!



Weddings. It's a thing. You just gotta conform to the norm for the day.

Hair's not a problem for me, nor is a beard, hasn't been for years. The greyer I get (started when I was 20), the shorter my hair and the more clean shaven I go.


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## PunkyGurly74 (Jan 26, 2011)

joswitch said:


> 4 - "Butterfly" I think it's called (her lying back body on bed, feet on floor, fella kneeling on floor)



Anything with a boy on his knees....:: fans self:: hehehehehe


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## PunkyGurly74 (Jan 26, 2011)

AmazingAmy said:


> I can only do three positions - a version of dogy style where I'm almost lying on my front; the spoon; and what that 101 website calls the drill. And a few variations of the drill like the deckhair, etc - though my last partner only ever wanted to do the drill. I can't actually do plain old missionary as I have a lot of fat my inner thighs (wow, I'm going on about that a lot lately, sorry, it just keeps being relevant).
> 
> I wish I could do/try more positions, but I've always been in circumstances where the guy (FA or not) either gave up right away or got too comfortable with the position that works best (the drill) and didn't want to try anything else. It makes me sad as I feel that no one will ever have the patience.  I know that's not specifically an FA problem, but it was the first time with a fat girl for the last FA I was with, and I could tell that he really hadn't expected it to be a challenge. He hadn't even considered fantasy vs reality, and he just acted so embarrassed sometimes.
> 
> ...



Amy, anyone who gives up that quickly on sex is not truly motivated and is totally uninterested in your pleasure. Sadly, having had years of sex with people who didn't care a whit about me or like my ex (we dated for almost 2 years) - blamed my size for the bad sex..when it was actually him who had issues with my size and his ahem size but wouldn't fully admit that. So, see - his problem.

I am sorry that your partners have sucked... your pics are adorable...I would totally make out with you  All i can say is that now I am very selective ...because you know..I have a wonderful toy at home that requires less effort and isn't as disheartening as bad/unconnected/no orgasm for me sex. 

And it is not patience with you...remember..you have what they want...you control if/when they are going to have sex. And really anyone who is into you and who is a good partner is all about exploration and making sure both your needs are met. Don't be shy either - tell him what you want.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jan 26, 2011)

thatgirl08 said:


> [snip]
> 
> It's possible that my experiences have more to do with age.. my FA partners & I have always been between the ages of 17 and 21. It could just be an experience thing. The only reason I tend to not lean towards this as an explanation is because I've had sexual experiences (not necessarily sex but in that realm) with a handful of non-FAs and never found that to be true for them.



I was thinking the same thing yesterday, but hesitated to say that as I didn't want you to feel like I was dismissing your opinions based on your age. I completely agree that's probably a big part of it. 

Your other points make a lot of sense as well.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jan 26, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> Amy, trust me, it's not your thighs. It's the men. I have very large thighs and am able to enjoy quite a few positions. It's them, not you.



This. What everyone else is saying. My thigh is probably the size of your waist (lol). It is NOT you. Not even close, honey.


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## bigmac (Jan 26, 2011)

PunkyGurly74 said:


> Amy, anyone who gives up that quickly on sex is not truly motivated and is totally uninterested in your pleasure. ...
> 
> And really anyone who is into you and who is a good partner is all about exploration and making sure both your needs are met. Don't be shy either - tell him what you want.



Sex shouldn't be a chore. If a partner has be get _motivated_ its likely you're not sexually compatible.

If either party wants the other to do stuff that party does not enjoy its just not going to work.


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## LovelyLiz (Jan 26, 2011)

bigmac said:


> Sex shouldn't be a chore. If a partner has be get _motivated_ its likely you're not sexually compatible.
> 
> *If either party wants the other to do stuff that party does not enjoy its just not going to work.*



I agree basically with the first statement, but with the bolded part, I disagree. I mean, YES, if the ONLY stuff one partner wants to do is stuff the other person does not enjoy, then it's not going to work. But in any healthy relationship, there's always some amount of compromise and sacrifice, yeah? Part of loving another person is sometimes doing stuff for/to them that might not be at the top of your list, but that you know they enjoy a lot. It's nice for there to be a good number of things you BOTH enjoy, but being giving in bed (and elsewhere in the relationship) means from time to time you do stuff that you don't necessarily enjoy in and of itself.


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## bigmac (Jan 27, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> I agree basically with the first statement, but with the bolded part, I disagree. I mean, YES, if the ONLY stuff one partner wants to do is stuff the other person does not enjoy, then it's not going to work. But in any healthy relationship, there's always some amount of compromise and sacrifice, yeah? Part of loving another person is sometimes doing stuff for/to them that might not be at the top of your list, but that you know they enjoy a lot. It's nice for there to be a good number of things you BOTH enjoy, but being giving in bed (and elsewhere in the relationship) means from time to time you do stuff that you don't necessarily enjoy in and of itself.



I think there's a difference between situations where the requested act is -- as you put it -- not at the top of the other partner's list and situations where the requested act is to some extent disagreeable for the other partner. If the partner's gut reaction to the request is neutral or better -- what the hell -- go for it. But if the partner's gut reaction is negative there's going to be serious compatibility issues. If one partner is always asking the other to do acts that are disagreeable to the requestee sex soon becomes a chore -- at which point the relationship's pretty much doomed.


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 27, 2011)

AmazingAmy said:


> I can only do three positions - a version of dogy style where I'm almost lying on my front; the spoon; and what that 101 website calls the drill. And a few variations of the drill like the deckhair, etc - though my last partner only ever wanted to do the drill. I can't actually do plain old missionary as I have a lot of fat my inner thighs (wow, I'm going on about that a lot lately, sorry, it just keeps being relevant).
> 
> I wish I could do/try more positions, but I've always been in circumstances where the guy (FA or not) either gave up right away or got too comfortable with the position that works best (the drill) and didn't want to try anything else. It makes me sad as I feel that no one will ever have the patience.  I know that's not specifically an FA problem, but it was the first time with a fat girl for the last FA I was with, and I could tell that he really hadn't expected it to be a challenge. He hadn't even considered fantasy vs reality, and he just acted so embarrassed sometimes.
> 
> I hope my next FA partner has a little more patience with me.



I've had an FA or two write off missionary because I carry a lot of the weight in my belly. The main issue was slipping out because they couldn't get close enough. One thing my current boyfriend showed me that made it a lot easier is instead of just spreading my legs and putting my feet on the bed, to actually lift my legs up off the bed as he gets into position and then wrap my legs around him as far as possible. I know this sounds like it'd be difficult to do but I'm pretty out of shape and I can hold the position for a good 10 minutes or so. It helps him to get a lot closer to me. 

Also, this isn't missionary but it's really similar. Lay on your back, lift your legs a little off the bed, have him get into position and then swing your legs up so they're resting on his shoulders and he's kind of like, kneeling in front of you. I <3 this position.

I think in my past relationships I wrote off most positions because I thought I was too fat/out of shape for them but I'm realizing more and more that that is really not the case.


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## OneWickedAngel (Jan 27, 2011)

thatgirl08 said:


> ...snip...
> I think in my past relationships I wrote off most positions because I thought I was too fat/out of shape for them but I'm realizing more and more that that is really not the case.


Quoted for truth!


I wish some wouldn't get all in a huff because some BBWs cannot always hang in there for the long endurance sessions. Even at their most physically comfortable, I'm thinking it's safe to guess that forty-plus minutes of pounding (even with position changing), is going to wear on the average fat gal. There's a difference between satiated sore and rubbed raw.


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## Oirish (Jan 27, 2011)

AmazingAmy said:


> I hope so. I'm beginning to get really down about the amount of women on here - plenty of them much bigger than me - who aren't having the trouble I am. I wish I could afford to go back to the gym and work on the strength in my legs in case that helps.
> 
> Ack, I just want to meet a new FA and get these doubts out of the way. :doh:




If you want to smuggle yourself over in my buddy's luggage when he comes to CA from London in March I'd be happy to try and assuage those doubts


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## KittyKitten (Jan 27, 2011)

Guys know better than to step up to me with sloppy looking clothing, bad grammar, and lack of hygiene. I don't get these types of guys. Happyface83 won't tolerate it. No thugs for me.


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## bigmac (Jan 27, 2011)

happyface83 said:


> ... No thugs for me.



But someone must like thugs since BBW events seem to go out of their way to attract them (at least in California and Nevada).


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## KittyKitten (Jan 27, 2011)

bigmac said:


> But someone must like thugs since BBW events seem to go out of their way to attract them (at least in California and Nevada).



Yeah, but I can only speak for myself.


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## AmazingAmy (Jan 27, 2011)

joswitch said:


> Patience on both sides IS a really big deal with teh sexay - agreed.
> Especially the first couple times when either / both of you are probably well nervous.
> 
> A willingness to try something else when A, B, C or even G aren't going to plan is pretty essential too.
> ...





PunkyGurly74 said:


> Amy, anyone who gives up that quickly on sex is not truly motivated and is totally uninterested in your pleasure. Sadly, having had years of sex with people who didn't care a whit about me or like my ex (we dated for almost 2 years) - blamed my size for the bad sex..when it was actually him who had issues with my size and his ahem size but wouldn't fully admit that. So, see - his problem.
> 
> I am sorry that your partners have sucked... your pics are adorable...I would totally make out with you  All i can say is that now I am very selective ...because you know..I have a wonderful toy at home that requires less effort and isn't as disheartening as bad/unconnected/no orgasm for me sex.
> 
> And it is not patience with you...remember..you have what they want...you control if/when they are going to have sex. And really anyone who is into you and who is a good partner is all about exploration and making sure both your needs are met. Don't be shy either - tell him what you want.





BigBeautifulMe said:


> This. What everyone else is saying. My thigh is probably the size of your waist (lol). It is NOT you. Not even close, honey.





thatgirl08 said:


> I've had an FA or two write off missionary because I carry a lot of the weight in my belly. The main issue was slipping out because they couldn't get close enough. One thing my current boyfriend showed me that made it a lot easier is instead of just spreading my legs and putting my feet on the bed, to actually lift my legs up off the bed as he gets into position and then wrap my legs around him as far as possible. I know this sounds like it'd be difficult to do but I'm pretty out of shape and I can hold the position for a good 10 minutes or so. It helps him to get a lot closer to me.
> 
> Also, this isn't missionary but it's really similar. Lay on your back, lift your legs a little off the bed, have him get into position and then swing your legs up so they're resting on his shoulders and he's kind of like, kneeling in front of you. I <3 this position.
> 
> I think in my past relationships I wrote off most positions because I thought I was too fat/out of shape for them but I'm realizing more and more that that is really not the case.





Oirish said:


> If you want to smuggle yourself over in my buddy's luggage when he comes to CA from London in March I'd be happy to try and assuage those doubts



Thanks guys.  I'm guessing I just haven't had perfect compatibility yet - but then again, who gets that, fat or thin?


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## Dromond (Jan 27, 2011)

The only way to have perfect sexual compatibility is if neither of you want it.


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 27, 2011)

OneWickedAngel said:


> I wish some wouldn't get all in a huff because some BBWs cannot always hang in there for the long endurance sessions. Even at their most physically comfortable, I'm thinking it's safe to guess that forty-plus minutes of pounding (even with position changing), is going to wear on the average fat gal. There's a difference between satiated sore and rubbed raw.



Hell, I think most women - fat or thin - would not want that!


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## superodalisque (Jan 27, 2011)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> This. What everyone else is saying. My thigh is probably the size of your waist (lol). It is NOT you. Not even close, honey.



i think when a guy makes a thigh excuse its more than likely penis size paranoia at work and they have to have an excuse ready for the resulting performance anxiety.


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## CastingPearls (Jan 27, 2011)

If he doesn't love my thighs, he doesn't get what's between them.


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## bigmac (Jan 27, 2011)

Dromond said:


> The only way to have perfect sexual compatibility is if neither of you want it.



I think you're on to something. If you'll only settle for perfection you're sure to be disappointed.


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## toni (Jan 31, 2011)

Christov said:


> On an unrelated note; does anybody get annoyed when you're having sex but slowly slipping out of position because you can't get any traction on the bedsheets?



OH man....story of my life!


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## Adrian (Feb 10, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> If he doesn't love my thighs, he doesn't get what's between them.


Extremely, well said!


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## KittyKitten (Feb 11, 2011)

thatgirl08 said:


> I've had an FA or two write off missionary because I carry a lot of the weight in my belly. The main issue was slipping out because they couldn't get close enough. One thing my current boyfriend showed me that made it a lot easier is instead of just spreading my legs and putting my feet on the bed, to actually lift my legs up off the bed as he gets into position and then wrap my legs around him as far as possible. I know this sounds like it'd be difficult to do but I'm pretty out of shape and I can hold the position for a good 10 minutes or so. It helps him to get a lot closer to me.
> 
> *Also, this isn't missionary but it's really similar. Lay on your back, lift your legs a little off the bed, have him get into position and then swing your legs up so they're resting on his shoulders and he's kind of like, kneeling in front of you. I <3 this position.*
> I think in my past relationships I wrote off most positions because I thought I was too fat/out of shape for them but I'm realizing more and more that that is really not the case.



This is making me hot right now :blush:


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## blueeyedevie (Feb 11, 2011)

On the whole sex topic and Fa's not performing as desired!.... In my experience which ill admit isn't much, It's not FA'S it "certain FA'S" . At a heavier more inexperienced time I was with an Fa that made sure I did not miss out on any of the amazing parts of sex. While on another experience It was all about me being fat and what that did for the guy which equals (boring in my book). Even in long term relationships, sometimes it can be more about me being fat than me being a sexy women. WHICH IS WHAT I wish FA's Would not do! I will say this , I would not mind all the fat play , if all the other goodies of sex were involved. JUST Saying guys give us what we want well give you what you want...


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## olwen (Feb 13, 2011)

thatgirl08 said:


> That's interesting. I've been with three FAs and found it to be true for the ones I was with (and I can't think of any specific examples at the moment but I KNOW I've heard that before on this board.)
> 
> You make a good point though about the positions at your size. The only time I've really had people be creative with positions (excluding my current boyfriend who isn't an FA) is when things weren't working in whatever position we were doing because of my size.
> 
> ...



I haven't had that lack. Every FA I've been with (lets just say more than 4) had no problem with long makeout sessions, oral, different positions (but then at a certain size and shape the number of positions that works takes more creativity - and pillows. LOL), or sex in crazy places. The one thing they ALL do is go straight for the belly while kissing. I don't mind that tho. And if you want them to do something you like to do or to not do something just ask. I have only been with one guy who just couldn't not do what I asked him not to do. Needless to say that ended soon after.


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