# FEEDEE contra FEEDER



## Miss_Scandinavia (Apr 4, 2006)

Well.. just a late night thought

Is it hard to be a slim feeder and encourage gaining without yourself put one some weight?

Im not that skinny as I use to be, but trying to lose some weight, and I think I look more sexy as really slim, and I like the difference between the bodies (just feel that his double your weight).

- Of course in some of my fantasies, I also gain, but I think thats only fantasy). But will there always be a feedee in a feeder and converted?

On the other hand, Id love to work out and slim down, while his gaining.


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## GrowingBoy (Apr 4, 2006)

"Is it hard to be a slim feeder and encourage gaining without yourself putting on some weight?"

As you get older it's hard to keep slim without working at it. Exercising is more fun with a partner, and if he's not exercising, it might be harder for you to exercise too. Similarly, if you are feeding your partner lots of fattening food, it might be hard not to try some yourself. 

>Im not that skinny as I used to be, but trying to lose some weight

Are you really determined to lose, or are you just "trying"? While "trying" might work today, in a decade, it probably won't have much effect 

>I think I look more sexy if I were really slim, and I like the difference >between the bodies (just imagine that he's double my weight).

Remember, "sexy" is in the eye of the beholder. Your partner might or might not think you're sexy if you lose weight. He might even like you plumper. Now of course in your fantasy it might be sexier if you were slimmer and he were larger....

>On the other hand, Id love to work out and slim down, while he is gaining.

This plays to the contrast fantasy, I think. 

Imagine your slim body working out, glistening with sweat, growing more muscular and leaner every day. At the same time imagine your partner watching, eating more and more fattening food" 

In the same vein: 

"Imagine a deal where for every pound you lose, your partner agrees to gain 2-5 pounds."


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## bigwideland (Apr 4, 2006)

Miss_Scandinavia said:


> Well.. just a late night thought
> 
> Is it hard to be a slim feeder and encourage gaining without yourself put one some weight?
> 
> ...



I like the idea of opposite, of my size to hers being a big difference, with me the larger clearly. But this is a warming idea I am not hung up on it more a fantasy as you say. But for you why stop at double the size why not three or more time your weight.


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## bigwideland (Apr 4, 2006)

Miss_Scandinavia said:


> Well.. just a late night thought
> 
> Is it hard to be a slim feeder and encourage gaining without yourself put one some weight?
> 
> ...



I saw your weight is 65 kg, mine is 192.2 today, so that is a ratio of 2.95, and I am only 4 cm taller than you, have a dream about that.


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## AZ_Wolf (Apr 4, 2006)

GrowingBoy said:


> Imagine your slim body working out, glistening with sweat, growing more muscular and leaner every day. At the same time imagine your partner watching, eating more and more fattening food"
> 
> In the same vein:
> 
> "Imagine a deal where for every pound you lose, your partner agrees to gain 2-5 pounds."



Yeah! I think this might be more a male view on this kind of fantasy, but I can say that if a FFA made statements like this around me, she would *certainly* get my attention.  :shocked:


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## Reads4Work (Apr 4, 2006)

If I remember correctly, Miss Scandinavia is not wanting someone who is eating a lot of fattening foods and getting really large. So I think she can have her cake and eat it too so to speak. Some of us are larger, but workout regularly. Personally I don't like fattening foods. I prefer simply larger portions of everything. Getting larger doesn't mean eating any and everything that causes you to gain mass amounts of weight. So I think in terms of working out, she can do smaller weights, with more repetitions, while the boyfriend/husband can do heavier weights with fewer repetitions. She'll get smaller, and he'll gain more mass.


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## Garfield (Apr 5, 2006)

Miss_Scandinavia said:


> Im not that skinny as I use to be, but trying to lose some weight, and I think I look more sexy as really slim, and I like the difference between the bodies (just feel that his double your weight).
> ...
> On the other hand, Id love to work out and slim down, while his gaining.


Oh, I love the thought too...


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## Miss_Scandinavia (Apr 5, 2006)

*Growingboy:* Thats exactly what Id like (making a deal with him)! That sounds so sexy.  

*Bigwideland:* I dont think Id like if he were that big. Twice my size is enough ;-)

*Reads4Work:* Your memory is very good. I dont prefer only fattening food (that wouldnt be healthy). Actually I dont think about how many calories the food contents. I just love cooking, and I often use cream in the food Im making. BUT, its important with variety foods.

*Garfield:* Yes, I believe were thinking the same way.


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## BigFusionNYC (Apr 6, 2006)

I've always liked slim FFA's and have had thin feeders. I really enjoy the contrast of a thin female body laying on top my big fat jiggly gainer body. If you are a good feeder, it doesn't matter if you are thin or heavier, as long as you like what you're doing and you and your feedee are on the same page about things.


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## fat hiker (Apr 7, 2006)

Reads4Work said:


> Some of us are larger, but workout regularly. Getting larger doesn't mean eating any and everything that causes you to gain mass amounts of weight. So I think in terms of working out, she can do smaller weights, with more repetitions, while the boyfriend/husband can do heavier weights with fewer repetitions. She'll get smaller, and he'll gain more mass.



Sounds like an excellent plan - tends to produce a big guy who remains mobile and healthy. And, of course, the more muscle you carry, the more fat you can carry on top of it!


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## Scandi (FFA) (Apr 8, 2006)

But I still havent received any answers to this questions yet:

*Will there always be a feedee in a feeder and converted?*


_Well, I have changed my username from: Miss_Scandinavia to: Scandi (FFA)
People thought Miss = model, and now people are thinking that FFA = lesbian *lol* Its not easy ;-)_


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## estrata (Apr 8, 2006)

Scandi (FFA) said:


> But I still haven’t received any answers to this questions yet:
> 
> *Will there always be a feedee in a feeder and converted?*
> 
> ...



Okay, here is my short answer.

Yes, definitely.  

Here is my long answer! ^_^

So in a feeder/feedee relationship where it is NOT based on SM/BD (I can't give an opinion on those that are), the feeder is probably going to be a gainer who can’t or doesn’t want to gain weight themselves. So they find someone who is willing to gain weight, and enjoy the weight gain through them.

My example, here, is me! Yay!  

So I’m a female “feeder”, I guess. But the reason I am a feeder is because I can’t, or shouldn’t, gain weight. My heart sorta sucks, or it could if I put stress on it. It was good for getting out of gym class when I was young &#8211; not good for being a gainer. ^_^

My husband is my “feedee”. He isn’t a gainer, however he has no problem gaining weight. Trust me, we’ve talked about it A LOT. He enjoys the feeling of being full &#8211; he finds it cozy. Not arousing, but it makes him happy. And he doesn’t mind being able to eat the foods he wants (who does??), and getting bigger. Obviously we have discussed the health issue at length, but I won't deal with that here because that's not your question.  

Now I do get a bit jealous, seeing him gaining weight and enjoying all these snacks and yummy treats. I think, man I want a belly like that!

But what keeps me from gaining while he is is the fact that he doesn’t want me to. Honest and true, and it’s not a bad thing. He is gaining weight for me because I find it attractive, and I will exercise and stay fit for him because he finds that attractive. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. Marriage, in the end, is finding compromises that make both of you happy. True, you should accept your partner for who they are. But I would love my husband if he was 60lb, and he would love me if I was 400lb. But because we love eachother and enjoy doing things that make the other happy, I would much rather be fit to fulfill his sexual desires than be 400lb to fulfill mine. Maybe if I didn’t have the medical reason it would be different, I don’t know. But personally, I find our situation pretty agreeable. And as long as we keep open communication, I can’t see any problems of resentment or what have you cropping up.

So yes, I will always be a gainer at heart. But there is no reason why you can’t be a gainer inside and still enjoy being fit with a gaining partner. As long as there is motivation for you to stay fit, you shouldn’t have much trouble. And I’ve found that, while fattening up my hubby, I actually eat less because I want him to eat more. I end up giving him half my sandwich even if I’m not totally full, and so forth. 

The new diet, fatten up your partner and loose weight yourself, in this week's Cosmo!


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## Buffetbelly (Apr 10, 2006)

I started out in my 20's as a feeder, but was never really successful at it. Then a few years back I discovered that enjoyed being a feedee :eat1: and I was spectacularly successful at it! 

These days I eat so much that everyone around me gets less to eat as I tend to grab anything not nailed down ("You gonna eat that? <CHOMP> :eat2: Oh, you were? Sorry!"). At restaurants, I finsh my own meal quickly then eat "samples" from everyone else --I'm helping keep all my friends slim!


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## nico7_uk (May 20, 2006)

Im interested in this thread, I spent a bit of time thinking about the psychology of feeding since I was quite unhappy about my sexuality for a while. I am a slightly repressed feedee, I fantasize about it a lot but havent met someone into it - who I click with anyway. I have done some gaining, but mostly in online relationships and I decided to stop until I meet someone who I really like. I have had feeder fantasies too, and sometimes it seems like there is a thin line between the two (feeder or feedee) and sometimes my thoughts about feeding someone are powerful, but then even more powerful when I imagine a woman thinking those thoughts about me! So sometimes its as though i switch roles in the middle of a fantasy, but mostly these days Im interested in being a feedee and not a feeder at all. I think its possible though that I may have gone through a guilt reaction to feeder fantasies and kind of switched them around. 

I love the idea of a slim and athletic feeder making me fat, and there are i suspect vague needs of being nurtured, and surrendering to someone..and this nurturing or maybe dare i say it maternal thing can also sometimes be seen in the desire for a big woman. I wonder if many other feedees missedout on a bit of mothering or feeding in some way when they were small? i mean a fantasy about being fed and made bigger seems to hold something of the mother/infant situation no? 

Its also occurred to me after reading a bit about Jung and his pyschology that if he is right and that we all have an anima or animus (internalised archetype of the opposite sex that is often projected onto partners) then perhaps my anima is the feedee energy..

Anyway sorry for getting all analytical! Or possibly this is all a complicated load of crap in denial of being a bit of a greedy bloke!
Ive always had these fantasies and I accept them as wonderful nowadays - my own secret world, and although Ive no desire to become too fat to do certain activities I love doing, or really make someone else fat, I definitely need to find a relationship that can hold them..my last gf just could not deal with it! 

I hope this slightly crazy exploration may be of interest, maybe theres something you can relate to in there..and I do like that idea of yours Miss Scandinavia - you lose a pound I gain two, I'd take you up on that any day!


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## SolariS (May 21, 2006)

Hi Scandi,

If you are bigger in your fantasies and you have a relationship with someone who helps you live it out, I think it is pretty likely you will start gaining sooner or later. 

It is up to you if you keep it under control. If you say you feel sexier slim, then this might be true but soemthing inside you wants you big, also.

I believe, that yes, a feeder can be very slim. But if you have the wish deep inside you to be big sometimes, play with your fat and like the growing, although it´s only a tiny bit, it´s just a matter of time until you try it. And living in a feeding relationship even more.


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## Skinny1 (May 23, 2006)

I think the "appeal" of feederism works both ways. I love to pamper and spoil a big lady with seductive meals.....but also find the idea of being stuffed powerful. I think it works both ways for most of us.

FAT is what makes it erotic.


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## Mercedes (Jun 26, 2006)

bigwideland said:


> I saw your weight is 65 kg, mine is 192.2 today, so that is a ratio of 2.95, and I am only 4 cm taller than you, have a dream about that.


 
:wubu: Can I dream too? Pleease? :smitten:


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## Garfield (Jun 26, 2006)

Mercedes said:


> :wubu: Can I dream too? Pleease? :smitten:


You can - my weight is 128 kg - less than bigwideland's but more than 2 times Your's...


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## zonker (Jun 28, 2006)

estrata said:


> But what keeps me from gaining while he is is the fact that he doesnt want me to. Honest and true, and its not a bad thing. He is gaining weight for me because I find it attractive, and I will exercise and stay fit for him because he finds that attractive. I dont think there is anything wrong with that. Marriage, in the end, is finding compromises that make both of you happy. True, you should accept your partner for who they are. But I would love my husband if he was 60lb, and he would love me if I was 400lb. But because we love eachother and enjoy doing things that make the other happy, I would much rather be fit to fulfill his sexual desires than be 400lb to fulfill mine. Maybe if I didnt have the medical reason it would be different, I dont know. But personally, I find our situation pretty agreeable. And as long as we keep open communication, I cant see any problems of resentment or what have you cropping up.
> 
> So yes, I will always be a gainer at heart. But there is no reason why you cant be a gainer inside and still enjoy being fit with a gaining partner. As long as there is motivation for you to stay fit, you shouldnt have much trouble. And Ive found that, while fattening up my hubby, I actually eat less because I want him to eat more. I end up giving him half my sandwich even if Im not totally full, and so forth.
> 
> The new diet, fatten up your partner and loose weight yourself, in this week's Cosmo!



What's seems odd (but may be totally natural) is how many people here seem to be willing to change their roles from feeder to feedee or feedee to feedere -- even if just in fantasy. Maybe it all goes back to that golden rule saying: "Do unto others as you would want done unto you." Or something like that.

I personally love both feedee and feeder roles in fantasy and in reality. I think that the things we do for our loved ones are often the very things we wish our loved ones would do for us. It seems totally natural to me.

I do agree, though, from personal experience and from talking with others: It's difficult to remain thin if you are a feeder. Because ultimately, there is something you find sexy about the food and about gaining weight. And what you wish for others, you will also end up wishing for yourself -- even subconsciously. And what's a little additional adipose between friends, anyway, whether it's her adipose or mine?


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## GordoNegro (Jun 29, 2006)

Its hard to remain thin as a good feeder because good food and good conversation go hand in hand. Quiet moments at the table without much going on, may not be as enjoyable to either party unless the body language is evident. Playing the feedee role helps being a feeder in my eyes as the previous post said do unto others as you would have unto yourself.
I wouldn't eat marbles or any other non-food items others have suggested as I would not even think of asking one to do so for me if it was a fetish of mine regardless.
Knowing that slow gains are not a bad thing especially if you plan to grow old with someone as slow gains can become rapid overtime.


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