# How prevalent are FA's?



## Scout112 (Apr 3, 2006)

Hello,

I am brand new to this Board/Forum and so excited to have found Dimensions and this site. Up until recently, I had no idea there were men who actually found BBW's attractive.

So, just a quick question... how prevalent are FA's? Could I be working next to one right now? Or are they just a scarce percentage of the population.

I know this is a difficult question to answer, and maybe some of you guys have a better idea than us women will.

Thanks for the info.


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## moonvine (Apr 3, 2006)

I don't mean to discourage you, but they seem to be pretty rare. (The good thing is, of course, that they are out there! )

Then there is the issue of finding one that hasn't had sex with every fat woman in your geographical area (this is important to me - may not be to you, in which case your search will be easier).

But yes, there could be one working right next to you.


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## fatgirl33 (Apr 3, 2006)

Samantha always tells me that FAs never seemed to exist when she was looking for one, but the moment she stopped looking - they were everywhere! :doh: 

I guess it's just one of those things... If you concentrate on one thing too hard you miss everything else that is happening around it.

Personally I know a number of FAs who are pretty up-front about it. Okay, I probably know more people who go, "Ewww, fat!" ...but I think the tide is turning.

Brenda


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## Zoom (Apr 3, 2006)

Wherever I go, I try to be prevalent, but it's no good in a room with more than two people.


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## Ash (Apr 3, 2006)

They're around, and if you open yourself up to the possibilities, you'll notice when a guy is checking you out. However, there is some challenge in finding an "out" FA. They're the only ones who are acceptable.


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## Jane (Apr 3, 2006)

I think many men are attracted to confidence and then the rest doesn't matter so much. I don't care if a guy is specifically attracted to fat, I just want to be with one who wants to be with ME.


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## collegeguy2514 (Apr 4, 2006)

im an FA, and i've yet to meet another guy (in real life of course) who shared my feelings. im only 21 though.


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## SchecterFA (Apr 4, 2006)

There are more out there than you think ... and this is discounting closeted FA's. Those are everywhere.


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## jack (Apr 4, 2006)

In my experience, more guys are attracted to (at least somewhat) bigger girls than thinner girls. However, guys who are attracted to very fat women are a little harder to find.


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## OpalBBW (Apr 4, 2006)

Well, I've been getting hit on alot more here lately. But I'm with all others about the FA's who aren't "out" I wouldn't even bother. I want a man who is willing to say exactly what he feels about the person he's with, fat or not. Too many guys want big girls and just sleep with them, but never take them out in public. Good FA's will let themselves be known, just take the time to look for them.


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## UberAris (Apr 4, 2006)

actuialy I have a friend in my English 101 who is an FA, We're out there, and aparently where you least suspect


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## Jon Blaze (Apr 4, 2006)

I think FA's aren't a majority, but they I don't think they should be too hard to find if you look around.


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## babyjeep21 (Apr 4, 2006)

I personally have never dated an FA. I'm really not thinking there are too many in Indiana, but hey... that is just me. I do notice when guys look and check me out; that doesn't mean they approach and do alot of talking. In my opinion, if you don't have the guts to at least smile at me and say hi, you're just not interested. So, obviously they're out there... Just not always local.


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## toni (Apr 4, 2006)

When someone tells me they are a Fa (or they love big girls) I proceed with caution. I know not all Fa's are scavengers but I have yet to have a good experience with one on a romantic level. I find the men that are not self proclaimed big girl lovers seem to be the ones that last the longest and treat me better.

I know there are prob some very nice ones out there, I have not had the chance to deal with any in that type of relation.

To answer your question though, there are many men out there that like big girls. You shouldn't have a hard time trying to hook up.


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## EtobicokeFA (Apr 4, 2006)

FA are out there, it just are not that eazy to spot!


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## Littleghost (Apr 4, 2006)

There's also a possibility few have considered; the approach. I'd say I'm an 'out and out' FA, but I'm also shy. If I'm interested in some one I'll try to get to know them, but the last thing I'd do, is bluntly go up and hit on them. I never thought that worked well or made anyone comfortable. Think of it this way, wouldn't you be a bit freaked out if a guy (politely) came up and said he was an FA? Kinda makes things awkward. Plus, this is supposedly the modern age, girls can help too. You never know, just giving a guy a small opening might be all he needs.

Needs training wheels for his tongue,
--Littleghost


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## moonvine (Apr 4, 2006)

Littleghost said:


> There's also a possibility few have considered; the approach. I'd say I'm an 'out and out' FA, but I'm also shy. If I'm interested in some one I'll try to get to know them, but the last thing I'd do, is bluntly go up and hit on them. I never thought that worked well or made anyone comfortable. Think of it this way, wouldn't you be a bit freaked out if a guy (politely) came up and said he was an FA? Kinda makes things awkward. Plus, this is supposedly the modern age, girls can help too. You never know, just giving a guy a small opening might be all he needs.



Well, I don't think that you have to go up to someone and say you are an FA, though I have a friend who will go up to women and say something like "I just had to tell you I think you are a beautiful BBW." 

If someone came up and said "You're very pretty!" I wouldn't be freaked out at all. If they came up and said "I'm an FA!" yeah, that would be a bit strange.

I personally am really attracted to confident, outgoing men. They make me weak in the knees the same way fat women make some men weak in the knees. If I have to make the first move, I'm probably never going to do it, because that just isn't my thing. I'm aware that I'm probably missing out on some great men this way, just like some men who only date thin women are missing out on some great fat chicks. I'm not sure I can really change that about myself, though.


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## babyjeep21 (Apr 4, 2006)

Littleghost said:


> There's also a possibility few have considered; the approach. I'd say I'm an 'out and out' FA, but I'm also shy. If I'm interested in some one I'll try to get to know them, but the last thing I'd do, is bluntly go up and hit on them. I never thought that worked well or made anyone comfortable. Think of it this way, wouldn't you be a bit freaked out if a guy (politely) came up and said he was an FA? Kinda makes things awkward. Plus, this is supposedly the modern age, girls can help too. You never know, just giving a guy a small opening might be all he needs.
> 
> Needs training wheels for his tongue,
> --Littleghost



I don't discount that at all! It is very true. Unfortunately, sometimes we only have small windows of opportunity. The confidence issue affects all of us. I just try to smile and look friendly. *shrug* That is a bit of an opening. I wouldn't think that you would have to openly state that you're an "fa" to a bigger woman. If you're approaching her with interest, she's going to know that you're not exactly turned away by the sight of a curvy woman.


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## Littleghost (Apr 4, 2006)

Sorry. I tend to get frustrated when people ask 'where all the FAs are'. I should be used to it as I've been on this site forever, and newbies should always get that extra welcoming attitude from us. I feel like jumping up and down in front of the computer and waving my hands, "HERE I AM!" but that'd just knock crap off of my desk.

Amatuer night at the social club,
--Littleghost


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## HassanChop (Apr 4, 2006)

It's not socially acceptable, so I think the guys that prefer more plush, ripe women tend to keep a little on the DL. I would guess it's a fairly considerable number, though.....


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## Ash (Apr 5, 2006)

I've known quite a few Hoosier FAs...and a couple IN Indianapolis. You just have to wait them out . 



babyjeep21 said:


> I personally have never dated an FA. I'm really not thinking there are too many in Indiana, but hey... that is just me. I do notice when guys look and check me out; that doesn't mean they approach and do alot of talking. In my opinion, if you don't have the guts to at least smile at me and say hi, you're just not interested. So, obviously they're out there... Just not always local.


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## Fuzzy (Apr 5, 2006)

The problem remains that too many FAs are bassackwards shy around women, and willl never fess up to their wants and desires.


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## swamptoad (Apr 5, 2006)

I have no idea how prevalent FA's are. But I would guess that we aren't so rare...and that our numbers are growing! 

Now I am wondering about the number of *shy* FA's


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## Webmaster (Apr 5, 2006)

Scout112 said:


> I am brand new to this Board/Forum and so excited to have found Dimensions and this site. Up until recently, I had no idea there were men who actually found BBW's attractive.
> 
> So, just a quick question... how prevalent are FA's? Could I be working next to one right now? Or are they just a scarce percentage of the population.



Not so long ago I answered a very similar question with the below:

Okay, let me go about this scientifically... From a genetic point of view, nature would likely have it so that weight distribution roughly parallels attraction to certain body types. Which would mean that as long as you are around one standard deviation away from the mean weight of the female population, at least 32% of the male population would probably still be generically attracted to you. If you are still around two standard deviations, then your chances drastically fall, and generically only 5% are still attracted. Get beyond three standard deviations, and we're talking just one percent.

Now there are probably forces that counteract this theory. For example, our society teaches us that average or slender body types are good and fat ones are bad, hence a percentage of those who would normally be fine with, or even drawn to, a larger size will be influenced towards thinner partners. On the other hand, some who like extreme things may be enamored with that very fact and deviate towards the other side.

Now that, of course, does not take personality and personal magnetism into consideration. Some people who look "ideal" according to conventional wisdom can be dull as hell, whereas others who are nowhere near that ideal can be veritable people magnets due to their personalities and qualities. Personally, I think that accounts for quite a bit.

So the bottomline is that those who are very far away from societal norm definitely face an uphill battle. They may encounter those who are seeking exactly their type, but then chances are that personalities may be standard deviations apart. If things click on both curves, then we have a Dimensions relationship.


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## Vince (Apr 5, 2006)

Did someone say 'standard deviation'? Well, Conrad, I take it that about 32% of men will be interested in 200 pound women, 5% interested in 300 pound women, and less than 1% want women over 400 pounds. I take it the same mechanism works in reverse? Therefore women will not be so interested in men if they are really heavy. The likelihood that a 400 pound woman will be with a 400 pound man is vanishingly small. 

Are we to conclude that being attracted to very large people is a deviation? Statistically speaking, of course. 

If personalities are distributed at random in populations then the likelihood that a 400 pound person would have a magnetic personality might be less than 1 in 10,000. Naw, that can't be right. Why we have plenty of evidence here on Dimensions that weight and personality go hand in hand.


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## babyjeep21 (Apr 5, 2006)

Ashley said:


> I've known quite a few Hoosier FAs...and a couple IN Indianapolis. You just have to wait them out .



I can't say I've really looked (not that looking helps). It's been less than a year since I found out what an FA was. So all in good time, right?


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Apr 5, 2006)

Vince said:


> If personalities are distributed at random in populations then the likelihood that a 400 pound person would have a magnetic personality might be less than 1 in 10,000. Naw, that can't be right. Why we have plenty of evidence here on Dimensions that weight and personality go hand in hand.[/COLOR]



One word: Experience. That's what we 'mericans call a variable,


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## Tragdor (Apr 5, 2006)

I am also confused exactly how "out" you have to be to an uncloseted FA. I really don't tell the majority of people I know that I am, that doesn't mean that I am ashamed of it it just means that I don't talk to those people about my preferences.


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## moonvine (Apr 5, 2006)

Tragdor said:


> I am also confused exactly how "out" you have to be to an uncloseted FA. I really don't tell the majority of people I know that I am, that doesn't mean that I am ashamed of it it just means that I don't talk to those people about my preferences.




Well, I think the definition of an "uncloseted FA" varies according to the person defining it. 

For me, an uncloseted FA is willing to 1. be seen with me on dates in public, holding my hand and what not if appropriate (if we are dating). 2. introduce me to his friends/family what have you. That's really all I can think of at the moment. 

Uncloseted FAs will have sex with you, but not be seen in public with you. They "date" you by coming to your house (generally with food) and watching a movie or something if you are lucky, then nailing you. I think Traci (not TraciJo!) coined the term "couch date" for this. They would never ever tell their friends and family about you. 

Certainly I don't think it is necessary for anyone to jump up and down saying "I'm an FA!" or tell all their friends (their friends will be able to figure out what they like if they are the observant type).

Just my opinion.


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## OriginalCyn (Apr 5, 2006)

...middle-class (and above) European-American men are sincerely grossed-out by the sight of blubber. Their biggest fear is that they'll marry someone and she'll "go fat" on them, and they'll "have" to get divorced, cheat on her, or fantasize about the latest PMOTM (or suchlike) in order to have sex with her. (The above is based on both personal observation and on things that I've read over 40-odd years.)

The stats seem to be more-favorable with some European-born Europeans and with many other ethnic groups. Working-class and underclass folks also seem to be relatively tolerant of (or even appreciative of) fat. (This is based solely on personal observation.)

A big problem, at least among White Americans in my own social class, is that fat is seen as being declasse. This means that a man's social status is severely lowered among his peers if he's seen with a fat woman. So, EVEN IF HE ACTUALLY LIKES/PREFERS FAT WOMEN, he'll often not be willing to be seen with one.

What it boils down to is this, IMO:
If you are a European-American woman, and you're looking to date men who are at least middle-class and of your own ethnic background, your dating pool is severely limited. And some of the men who ARE in your dating pool will disappoint you by being unwilling to be seen with you in public. Dating people of a different nationality, social class, or ethnic background may have some inherent "culture clash" issues that you may or may not want to try to work around--but dating outside of your usual social circle may be the only practical way to increase the size of your dating pool. I don't think that compromising my personal values is a worthwhile trade-off for having a mate. So--in my own case--if the man does things that indicates that he's ashamed of me, or if his culture is male-dominant, or if he likes to take advantage of the "desperation" that so many fat women exhibit, then he's not the guy for me, and having no man is far better than having THAT man.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Apr 5, 2006)

Interesting points, Cyn. It's weird though when I reflect on the men who are most important in my life: My brothers and male friends. All of them have dated heavier women, and most of them are middle class. Who knows what it is?


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## TraciJo67 (Apr 5, 2006)

Cyn, you raise an interesting point. I'm not sure that I agree with it - but only because I really haven't given the idea much thought, and it hasn't been my personal experience. Then again, I don't have a lot of dating experience; I met the man that I eventually married at the age of 19, and we've been together for 19 years. 

From what limited personal experience I have had, and ancedotal information received from other friends of both sexes, it seems to me that most men -- European or not -- are OK with moderate body fat. Recently, I started noticing an increase in attention as I approached & slipped under the 200 lb mark. I can also remember when men seemed to stop "seeing" me -- when I gained a lot of weight, while in my early 20's. And again, in my personal experience, men who *did* seem to appreciate my heavier body were usually African American or Asian (particularly Indian). I really don't think that the majority of men are *that* picky when it comes to body size, within the mid-ranges. And really, most women are considered overweight these days anyway (though I think that many of us in this group have a very different notion of what 'overweight' really is, and it has nothing to do with BMI charts). 

My husband really prefers plus-sized women. He thought that I was fine as I was (high 200's), and he especially liked my body at 210-220. We met & began dating when I was very thin. I've asked him, had I been at my highest weight when we first met, would he have dated me? He responded that he likely would not have, because my higher weight was really outside of his preference - but that if he'd gotten to know me well before the possibility of romantic involvement, he could have easily seen himself falling for me. In my experience, I had to work harder for everything when I was heavy -- respect, social standing, job opportunities, etc. Sometimes, I'd feel overwhelmed, believing that I had to somehow "earn" respect that would just naturally be extended to a thinner person. I really don't know how much of this was my low self esteem, and how much was real. IMO, it was somewhere in the middle. I experienced definite bias, some of which I am only now aware of now. Eeek, I didn't mean to veer off on this particular tangent -- just really wanted to provide a backdrop for the point I'm really trying to make, which is that I'm not surprised my romantic pursuits would have also required getting past some initial prejudice. Saddened, a bit. Not surprised.


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## voidhead (Apr 5, 2006)

Littleghost said:


> There's also a possibility few have considered; the approach. I'd say I'm an 'out and out' FA, but I'm also shy. If I'm interested in some one I'll try to get to know them, but the last thing I'd do, is bluntly go up and hit on them. I never thought that worked well or made anyone comfortable. Think of it this way, wouldn't you be a bit freaked out if a guy (politely) came up and said he was an FA? Kinda makes things awkward. Plus, this is supposedly the modern age, girls can help too. You never know, just giving a guy a small opening might be all he needs.
> 
> Needs training wheels for his tongue,
> --Littleghost



This is pathetic. Grow some balls dude...


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## moonvine (Apr 5, 2006)

voidhead said:


> This is pathetic. Grow some balls dude...



Nothing like a nice supportive board. Sheesh.

Personally I think people who attack other people on webboards for no apparent reason are pretty pathetic. BWDIK.


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## Jane (Apr 5, 2006)

And yet, LG's approach of simply coming up and talking would work MUCH better with most women I know than a blatant "I like fat girls. Wanna screw?" 

It's all a give and take, and that's part of the fun.


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## TraciJo67 (Apr 5, 2006)

voidhead said:


> This is pathetic. Grow some balls dude...



Wow, that's harsh. And untrue. I do not believe the dude in question needs to "grow a pair" -- he's plenty OK as he is. So he's a bit shy. That's endearing, and VERY attractive to many women. 

I'll take shy over arrogant any day of the week (and twice on Sunday  )


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## voidhead (Apr 5, 2006)

I estimate that about 10%-15% of the male population in the US are Fat Admirers. 

What I mean by this is that while most men prefer SLIGHTLY thick/curvy women, about 15%-20% would prefer overweight women and actively seek fat on their partner. 

There are more FAs out there than people think...I know a few myself... but almost all of us are in the closet about it. I also have no idea how many of those FAs are attracted to partners who are seriously overweight as in like 350 Ibs or more. I suspect, however, that all FAs are more or less of the opinion that bigger is better (within moderation of course). 

Also I think it is true that other cultures are more accepting of fat and even lower classes within US society are more accepting of fat. 

The whole "couch date" post was also dead-on. I used to do this all the time with many girls. To this day my friends from high school would be shocked to know how many of the random fat girls they probably never even knew existed I had slept with. When it comes down to it, however, none of these fat girls were confident or interesting enough to validate me doing anything more than couch dating them*.

I will gladly be seen with a BBW in public if she is worth it.

The problem with Fat Culture, as I see it, is threefold:

1) The women are uncomfortable with their bodies, shy, and lack confidence in themselves. This is incredibly unnattractive. So many girls act as though their fat is a secret, or somehow temporary. Fat girls need to flaunt what they've got and feel sexy about themselves. Once you FEEL sexy, you ARE sexy. IT IS ACTUALLY EASIER FOR ME TO PICK UP SKINNY CHICKS!!! There have been so many skinny girls who come on to me and I have to let them down gently. The fat chicks, by contrast are much harder to approach by and large.

2) The FAs are timid little bitches for the most part. Many of us are very intelligent, which is cool but it can also mean that we are shy and socially awkward. FAs need to be confident! Just be cool. You don't need a fucking one-liner. Smile at her, say hi my name is ______ what's yours? If you are worth a shit then she will be into you. If you are uninteresting, then you don't deserve to get laid (or exist for that matter) anyway. Chances are you're the only guy who has/will hit on her all night. If you do find a girl who is confident, interesting and has a personality, allow her to graduate from your school of couch fucking and bring her out in the real world for all to see!!!

Which brings me to:

3) Once you've found a woman who is worth more than couch fucking*, treat her properly. IF NOT YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE. The more FA couples out there on the streets, the more confidence it gives other undercover FAs to be open about their sexuality, which is awesome, because there is nothing worse than a fat girl settling for a fat guy just because she can't do better. Or for that matter a fat guy settling for a fat chick...

Fat couples are just such a turn-off...just imagine that nasty sloppy gorilla sex...

Contrast is the key!!!




*NOTE: If the girl lacks confidence in herself, is uninteresting, or is timid due to issues with her size, she is NOT worth dating and you may couch fuck her because she is only perpetuating the problems inherent in most BBWs.


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## voidhead (Apr 5, 2006)

TraciJo67 said:


> Wow, that's harsh. And untrue. I do not believe the dude in question needs to "grow a pair" -- he's plenty OK as he is. So he's a bit shy. That's endearing, and VERY attractive to many women.
> 
> I'll take shy over arrogant any day of the week (and twice on Sunday  )



I am distinguishing between timidity and confidence, not timidity and arrogance here, although I understand your point.

You see I probably come off as arrogant on these forums but I am modest person. Many people lack confidence because they actually ARE pathetic. They know they can be better people but fail to take the steps needed to implement this change. I just hate seeing all these FAs who do the whole community a disservice because they are too afraid to approach fat women. This in turn just perpetuates the fat girl's lack of confidence because no one approaches her, which in turn makes her unapproachable and the cycle repeats itself.


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## Littleghost (Apr 5, 2006)

Jane said:


> And yet, LG's approach of simply coming up and talking would work MUCH better with most women I know than a blatant "I like fat girls. Wanna screw?"
> 
> It's all a give and take, and that's part of the fun.


Let's just all be thankful that "BigDemon" isn't a more appropriate title for me.  
--Littleghost


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## SailDude (Apr 5, 2006)

I agree with you, the tide is turning! We're everywhere!



fatgirl33 said:


> Samantha always tells me that FAs never seemed to exist when she was looking for one, but the moment she stopped looking - they were everywhere! :doh:
> 
> I guess it's just one of those things... If you concentrate on one thing too hard you miss everything else that is happening around it.
> 
> ...


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## UberAris (Apr 5, 2006)

Littleghost said:


> There's also a possibility few have considered; the approach. I'd say I'm an 'out and out' FA, but I'm also shy. If I'm interested in some one I'll try to get to know them, but the last thing I'd do, is bluntly go up and hit on them. I never thought that worked well or made anyone comfortable. Think of it this way, wouldn't you be a bit freaked out if a guy (politely) came up and said he was an FA? Kinda makes things awkward. Plus, this is supposedly the modern age, girls can help too. You never know, just giving a guy a small opening might be all he needs.
> 
> Needs training wheels for his tongue,
> --Littleghost



Yeah I agree with ya, I too can be shy sometimes when I see an intrest, but when i finaly work up the nerve, I usialy just try to talk to the girl at first, then if she seems intrested, take it a step further. That usialy what works for me.


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## charlie (Apr 5, 2006)

Would it be too rash to say that in general its the "guys fault". I rarely see the same in reverse, if a gal likes a big guy, she dates him, rarely does she seem to have the hang-ups that guys have with big girls.


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## Jane (Apr 5, 2006)

I've always thought most men were much more bothered by peer pressure than most women. It must be that "team" thing.


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## TraciJo67 (Apr 5, 2006)

voidhead said:


> I am distinguishing between timidity and confidence, not timidity and arrogance here, although I understand your point.
> 
> You see I probably come off as arrogant on these forums but I am modest person. Many people lack confidence because they actually ARE pathetic. They know they can be better people but fail to take the steps needed to implement this change. I just hate seeing all these FAs who do the whole community a disservice because they are too afraid to approach fat women. This in turn just perpetuates the fat girl's lack of confidence because no one approaches her, which in turn makes her unapproachable and the cycle repeats itself.



I see a few flaws in your logic here.

First, you aren't responsible for my self esteem (speaking generally here). And I do not base my self esteem on how often I'm approached. I also own some responsibility for letting someone know that I am interested, if that is the case. 

Lots of people need encouragement in order to approach someone they find attractive. If I were single, I know I would - I'd be looking for cues, both verbal & non; even then, I'm pretty risk aversive, and I'd have to be pretty damn interested to take the risk. That's not pathetic, and .... well, unkind thoughts headed your way, if you think otherwise  

Finally, what makes you think that fat women lack confidence? And what makes you think that, if this is true of some fat women, you have any responsibility for "fixing" that?


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## pickleman357 (Apr 6, 2006)

I'm a very proud FA.

Very proud. When my buddies are oogling this toothpick that went by, I'll litteraly say, "Pft, what's so hot about a washing board?" Or;
"I want ribs on my plate, not my woman"
"Why not just hump a mop? Same feeling, but you don't have to talk to it afterwards"
"I'd break her in two!"
etc.

Yes, this might seem harsh.... but concidering ALL of the negitive comments that have been uttered about BBWs, they had it coming.


And I have this suggestion for all the BBWs out there looking for FAs. Be f***ing proud that your fat. At least to me, nothing is more of a turn off then a woman who's ashamed of her body when I know she's absolutly beautiful in her big, soft body.

Be who you are and be proud of it, and you will find a guy that likes or even you, just the way you are.


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## TraciJo67 (Apr 6, 2006)

pickleman357 said:


> I'm a very proud FA.
> 
> Very proud. When my buddies are oogling this toothpick that went by, I'll litteraly say, "Pft, what's so hot about a washing board?" Or;
> "I want ribs on my plate, not my woman"
> ...



Thin women have nothing to do with any negative comments that may be made by insensitive louts who call themselves men. For that reason, your insults towards them are .... well, insensitive. Lout-like.


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## pickleman357 (Apr 6, 2006)

TraciJo67 said:


> Thin women have nothing to do with any negative comments that may be made by insensitive louts who call themselves men. For that reason, your insults towards them are .... well, insensitive. Lout-like.



So, no thin woman has ever said something bad about a fat woman?

I never insult women because of the way they look. Never. This whole thing is about size acceptance is that we all should accept people the way they are. Fat, thin, chunky, whatever.

I still think thin women are beautiful. They just don't do it for me. 

I just like to get across the point that I prefer larger women and I'm not shy about it.
The whole fat acceptance movement can use all the positive publicity it can get!


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## TraciJo67 (Apr 6, 2006)

pickleman357 said:


> So, no thin woman has ever said something bad about a fat woman?



We're talking about two separate issues here. You seemed to imply that it was OK to insult thin women becuase you're accustomed to hearing other men say unflattering things about fat women. To me, the issue isn't about what other women think or say -- it's about it not being OK to make rude comments about anyone, fat or thin. But then again, you did a good job of saying the same thing below  



> I never insult women because of the way they look. Never. This whole thing is about size acceptance is that we all should accept people the way they are. Fat, thin, chunky, whatever.
> 
> I still think thin women are beautiful. They just don't do it for me.
> 
> ...


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## pickleman357 (Apr 6, 2006)

TraciJo67 said:


> We're talking about two separate issues here. You seemed to imply that it was OK to insult thin women becuase you're accustomed to hearing other men say unflattering things about fat women. To me, the issue isn't about what other women think or say -- it's about it not being OK to make rude comments about anyone, fat or thin. But then again, you did a good job of saying the same thing below




Alright, can you define what you concider a 'rude comment' is?

And if stating that I don't like thin women is rude, I'm open to suggestions on how to go about showing that I do not like thin women in _that way_, when the guys around me are drooling over them.

I'm really bad with words, so really, help would definatly be welcomed


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## TraciJo67 (Apr 6, 2006)

pickleman357 said:


> Alright, can you define what you concider a 'rude comment' is?
> 
> And if stating that I don't like thin women is rude, I'm open to suggestions on how to go about showing that I do not like thin women in _that way_, when the guys around me are drooling over them.
> 
> I'm really bad with words, so really, help would definatly be welcomed



You said, when talking with your buddies, this is how you discuss thin women:



> "Pft, what's so hot about a washing board?" Or;
> "I want ribs on my plate, not my woman"
> "Why not just hump a mop? Same feeling, but you don't have to talk to it afterwards"
> "I'd break her in two!"
> etc.



I don't mean to act as if you've committed the worse sin in the world here. It's just that (in my opinion) I don't see a moral difference between making fun of fat women vs. making fun of thin women. 

Though I know that your remarks above were probably more intended for humor. I don't think you are unkind at all, and I don't mean to imply any differently.

BTW -- stating that you aren't sexually attracted to thin women is quite different than saying that you'd just as soon hump a mop, don'tcha think?


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## pickleman357 (Apr 6, 2006)

TraciJo67 said:


> BTW -- stating that you aren't sexually attracted to thin women is quite different than saying that you'd just as soon hump a mop, don'tcha think?



LOL, Well, when you put it that way, yeah you're right  


So what do you suggest? I'm not going to be all laywerish and say "I do not find that woman sexually attractive, but I am not saying that she is ugly by making this statement and I still believe she is a pretty woman." every time.

I mean, I've been thinking about this. How can you compliment a woman, or say she's not my type, without coming off as rude or look like you're trying pick her up?


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## Gil3 (Apr 6, 2006)

Scout112 said:


> Hello,
> 
> I am brand new to this Board/Forum and so excited to have found Dimensions and this site. Up until recently, I had no idea there were men who actually found BBW's attractive.
> 
> ...



I've been a FA for as long as I can remember. I'm not going to lie..Even though I find some thinner women very beautiful (Eva Mendes, Catherine Zeta Jones ), I am *insanely* attracted to BBWs, and that's what I prefer. Yes, BBWS are more appealing to me in every way. I'll admit, society has tried to condition us all to think that this is wrong, and I even questioned myself at some point when I was younger. Nonetheless, I blew it off, and have no shame in my preferences. There is nothing more beautiful than a BBW, and even moreso, one who is comfortable with herself. Before I met my current gal, who is a wonderful person and BBW, BTW, I was sitting in a bookstore, and three women sat at a table not too far from me, and one was a BBW, and the other two were thin. I kept looking at the BBW , and one of the women asked me what was wrong. I said "your friend is very attractive". She said "oh, you mean her". meaning her other thin friend, and I said "no, Her", the BBW. She didn't expect that, but there was no harm intended. 

So sure, we are out here. Some are upfront about their FA, and others keep it hidden.


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## TraciJo67 (Apr 6, 2006)

pickleman357 said:


> I'm not going to be all laywerish and say "I do not find that woman sexually attractive, but I am not saying that she is ugly by making this statement and I still believe she is a pretty woman." every time.



Why the hell not? I think you should print up some quick-reference disclaimers as well. Better yet, save a tree & wear it on a t-shirt  

I'm not the morality police - really, I wish I hadn't brought it up at all. We all say things with our friends that we would not publicly share. I have a male coworker with an obvious physical condition that older men are frequently known for (lets just say he appears to be carrying a sack of grapefruit in his pants) and I would absolutely die if he knew of some of the remarks I've laughed at & jokes I've contributed to that are at his expense. 

The thing is, it's pretty obvious that you don't mean to be insulting, you're just having fun with your friends while getting a point across to them. 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go hump a mop


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## bellylover (Apr 6, 2006)

I think FAs are more prevalent than you think. The problem is: they are difficult to spot. Everyone recognizes a BBW when he sees one, but how do you know whether that man that you just crossed is an FA? Ill come back to that later.

It is important to differentiate between FAs. I would say there are at least 4 categories: 
* in the closet  they will not date a BBW. They are too shy or too concerned with social pressure. They might even be denying it to themselves. To comply with social pressure, they might also be making negative comments on BBWs
* in between  they are ready to date BBWs, but might need a little push. When they are in group with friends, they would probably not go and approach the BBW in the disco. They might keep their relationship in the beginning rather low profile towards the outside world. Or they might start with a chubby girl and then gradually heavier. 
* out the closet  they have no problem dating a BBW. They might not tell the entire world they are an FA, but when they find the right girl, they have no problem starting a relationship with a BBW.
* open  they have no problem telling the world they are an FA.

But all of this is relative. An FA might be out of the closet for dating mid-size BBWs, but not yet for SSBBWs, even if a SSBBW is his preferred body type. This scale also slides: usually, the older we FAs grow, the more we come out of the closet. Someone I knew was always commenting on bigger girls, but when I met him several years later, he was with a nice BBW girlfriend!

Seriously, if I would go back to university, I would study sociology and I would make my thesis about FAs, because this is something that we really need: a good sociology study on FAs. A good objective study on this subject would really bring this subject to the peoples attention and make it socially much more acceptable. Many people would be surprised to see how many of us are out there (or even surprised to see there are any). It could also be a good confidence boost for both BBWs and FAs.

Voidhead, I find your comments really disrespectful. Your attitude will only make unconfident BBWs feel even less confident.


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## UberAris (Apr 6, 2006)

> I think FAs are more prevalent than you think. The problem is: they are difficult to spot.



Hmm you have a point.. maybe we should make like a special code sign to say "Hey! I'm an FA!!!"


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## MsGreenLantern (Apr 6, 2006)

yeah, I like that idea Aris. Signs, you all need signs. 

Its like...walking around on campus I KNOW some guys are FAs, but they are with a group of friends who would belittle them for it. Its sooo common at my school for guys to be closeted in this issue. I'm pretty sure the only openly FA guys I've seen here have been untraditionals (30ish and above) or really confident seniors.


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## UberAris (Apr 6, 2006)

See I was lucky that way, I had a bunch of friends that knew my prefrance, and said nothing bad about it... hell one of my friends even set me up on a date or 2


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## ChickletsBBW (Apr 6, 2006)

moonvine said:


> I don't mean to discourage you, but they seem to be pretty rare. (The good thing is, of course, that they are out there! )
> 
> Then there is the issue of finding one that hasn't had sex with every fat woman in your geographical area (this is important to me - may not be to you, in which case your search will be easier).
> 
> But yes, there could be one working right next to you.




*laughs* ok moonvine.. i gotta bite on this one.. lol
I can't help but keep wondering if you're basically referring to someone *I* used to date here in Austin *laughs* that you and I both know?
seriously.. it's funny (and sad) cuz you're right lol
There seem to be more bbw admirers in San Antonio these days.. however i'd say about 4 years ago there were MANY more here in Austin.. they seem to have dwindled away although I do talk to a UT hottie once in a while.. however.. they're still in the closet (of course)


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## pickleman357 (Apr 6, 2006)

bellylover said:


> * open  they have no problem telling the world they are an FA.
> 
> Seriously, if I would go back to university, I would study sociology and I would make my thesis about FAs, because this is something that we really need: a good sociology study on FAs. A good objective study on this subject would really bring this subject to the peoples attention and make it socially much more acceptable. Many people would be surprised to see how many of us are out there (or even surprised to see there are any). It could also be a good confidence boost for both BBWs and FAs.



If you ever do taht thesis, make sure you drop me a line a get my 2 cents. I would love to help because I'm definatly in the "open" catagory.... maybe a little too much :doh:


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## moonvine (Apr 7, 2006)

ChickletsBBW said:


> *laughs* ok moonvine.. i gotta bite on this one.. lol
> I can't help but keep wondering if you're basically referring to someone *I* used to date here in Austin *laughs* that you and I both know?
> seriously.. it's funny (and sad) cuz you're right lol
> There seem to be more bbw admirers in San Antonio these days.. however i'd say about 4 years ago there were MANY more here in Austin.. they seem to have dwindled away although I do talk to a UT hottie once in a while.. however.. they're still in the closet (of course)




I don't think I am referring to that person. I went on one date with that person and he didn't care for me at all and certainly didn't try to have sex with me. At least I think it was that person. 

I'm more thinking of one guy who is heavily into Renfaires..and well, almost all of them really. Except Lew, who is awesome but too old for me.
He is the only FA I have EVER met in Austin, BTW. And I've lived here 7 years now. My last bf did live here, but he moved here from San Antonio.


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## The Weatherman (Apr 7, 2006)

UberAris said:


> See I was lucky that way, I had a bunch of friends that knew my prefrance, and said nothing bad about it... hell one of my friends even set me up on a date or 2



Yeah, we definitely need a secret handshake. There should probably be a forum on it or something at the NAAFA convention in Vegas.


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## UberAris (Apr 8, 2006)

you reminded me of the secrete\ hand shake of the Stone Hammers (simpsons episode)


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## MisticalMisty (Apr 8, 2006)

voidhead said:


> The whole "couch date" post was also dead-on. I used to do this all the time with many girls. To this day my friends from high school would be shocked to know how many of the random fat girls they probably never even knew existed I had slept with. When it comes down to it, however, none of these fat girls were confident or interesting enough to validate me doing anything more than couch dating them*.



This has got to be one of the most disgusting things I have heard in my life. It's not up to the girls to "validate" you dating them. It's called decency and respect. HOW DARE YOU say that a girls lack of confidence gives you the right to treat her like a piece of trash..to Fuck her and send her on her way.



voidhead said:


> I will gladly be seen with a BBW in public if she is worth it.



Every fat woman is worth being seen with in public. HELL every woman, whether thin or fat is worth being seen with in public. The audacity of that comment has me seething with anger. 



voidhead said:


> The problem with Fat Culture, as I see it, is threefold:
> 
> 1) The women are uncomfortable with their bodies, shy, and lack confidence in themselves. This is incredibly unnattractive. So many girls act as though their fat is a secret, or somehow temporary. Fat girls need to flaunt what they've got and feel sexy about themselves. Once you FEEL sexy, you ARE sexy. IT IS ACTUALLY EASIER FOR ME TO PICK UP SKINNY CHICKS!!! There have been so many skinny girls who come on to me and I have to let them down gently. The fat chicks, by contrast are much harder to approach by and large.



Not every fat woman is uncomfortable with her body, hiding anything or trying to deny their fatness. A fat girl doesn't need to flaunt what she has to be sexy. Maybe it's you and not the fat girls. Maybe they sense a vibe from you. I get the vibe that you are a closeted fa who actually thinks that you have a right to "couch date" the women you don't feel are worth your time. SHAME ON YOU



voidhead said:


> Chances are you're the only guy who has/will hit on her all night. If you do find a girl who is confident, interesting and has a personality, allow her to graduate from your school of couch fucking and bring her out in the real world for all to see!!!


I'm seriously at a loss for words..that statement infuriates me to no end. You infer that fat women are desperate enough to need you to pity them and "hit on her." You infer that fat women are SOOOO desperate that you will make their night by fucking them. Is this really how you think? Is this your perception of fat woman and how FAs should behave? 



voidhead said:


> 3) Once you've found a woman who is worth more than couch fucking*, treat her properly. IF NOT YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE. The more FA couples out there on the streets, the more confidence it gives other undercover FAs to be open about their sexuality, which is awesome, because there is nothing worse than a fat girl settling for a fat guy just because she can't do better. Or for that matter a fat guy settling for a fat chick...
> 
> Fat couples are just such a turn-off...just imagine that nasty sloppy gorilla sex...
> 
> Contrast is the key!!!



I was wondering why no one had commented on your post. You've obviously have to be a troll or something. You are posting at a FAT ACCEPTANCE SITE. How can you sputter off such things? You've seriously got to get a clue.






voidhead said:


> *NOTE: If the girl lacks confidence in herself, is uninteresting, or is timid due to issues with her size, she is NOT worth dating and you may couch fuck her because she is only perpetuating the problems inherent in most BBWs.



You're an ass, through and through and I hope that any person that knows you in person or may have the misfortune of meeting you realizes this and doesn't give you the time of day. God forbid a fat girl has her first fa experience with someone like you..*Shudders*


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## Tina (Apr 8, 2006)

What she said. *rep*


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## Blackjack_Jeeves (Apr 8, 2006)

Misty, I'd rep you, but I did so recently... So I was gonna rep Tina for repping you, and it won't let me do that either.... so um....... KUDOS! It needed to be said (I'm bad with words and hate yelling...), and I truly hope that person does not dare to post again on these forums. Thank you Misty! :bow:


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## Jane (Apr 8, 2006)

BJ I did it for you.


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## MisticalMisty (Apr 8, 2006)

Blackjack_Jeeves said:


> Misty, I'd rep you, but I did so recently... So I was gonna rep Tina for repping you, and it won't let me do that either.... so um....... KUDOS! It needed to be said (I'm bad with words and hate yelling...), and I truly hope that person does not dare to post again on these forums. Thank you Misty! :bow:


LOL...thanks..I appreciate it


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## UberAris (Apr 8, 2006)

yeah, that was an odd interuption on an otherwise serious topic...


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## MisticalMisty (Apr 8, 2006)

UberAris said:


> yeah, that was an odd interuption on an otherwise serious topic...




agreed..grrr


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Apr 8, 2006)

Agreed 100% with Misty.


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## UberAris (Apr 9, 2006)

I do too whole heartedly (hope I spelled that right :-X)


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## bellylover (Apr 9, 2006)

Tx all. Nice discussions like this shouldn't been spoilt by soemone like that. I already wondered why no one reacted on this before me.


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## Jordan (Apr 9, 2006)

Im Just Curious at what age did you know you where an FA


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## bellylover (Apr 9, 2006)

I have had an interest in fat for as long as I can remember. It started with a kind of interest/admiration for the fat kid at school and evolved to fat girls as a teenager.


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## Jordan (Apr 9, 2006)

Yeah Same with me It started as an admiration that became a prefernace and now im and definate FA, and it's not an easy thing to be at my age. 
Not that That will put me off


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## CleverBomb (Apr 9, 2006)

MisticalMisty said:


> This has got to be one of the most disgusting things I have heard in my life. It's not up to the girls to "validate" you dating them. It's called decency and respect. HOW DARE YOU say that a girls lack of confidence gives you the right to treat her like a piece of trash..to Fuck her and send her on her way.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Exactly.
How do you do this "rep" thing?

Re: grandparent post to this: WTF? This MUST be a parody troll (at least, I hope it is, for the sake of my gender's honor.)

-Rusty


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## voidhead (Apr 10, 2006)

Haha thanks for the feedback girls. Yes, I am a real FA out in the world...not a troll and also not "in the closet".

I'm simply of the opinion that a lot of people I meet are inherently uninteresting and I therefore choose to spend time with those who are worth my time. 

Many fat girls I've hooked up with lacked confidence and personality. Those that did I merely couch fucked. Why not? Why should I spend money and time on a girl who isn't worth it? Those that did have confidence and personality I happily dated. 

Yes, I do have the audacity to use a woman for sex if I am not interested in anything else from her. I also make it clear that I am not interested in a relationship. It's not rape. If she wants something more then she can move on. Most don't, but a few have. I can't hold it against them. If someone IS willing to date them, then they're better off with him anyway. 

I am currently with a beautiful, lively BBW who I enjoy thoroughly because she is confident in herself and has a vibrant personality. She is someone I enjoy hanging out with and who makes herself heard in a room full of people, not to mention dresses nicely. She deserves my attention and I am all too happy to give it to her. 

This world is filled to the brim with boring people who aren't worth shit so if I encounter one of these I take what I want and leave. 

This is why I laugh at the notion of a "soul". You've got all these fuckin people in our world and so many of them are just so dull. They've got their kids, their white picket fence, blah blah blah. Just a bunch of monkeys breeding and eating and defecating. Are all of these people REALLY so important that their petty lives transcend death??? I can't wait to find out. 

And if so, where are these new "souls" coming from? Is God just shitting them out one by one? And how many "souls" can transcend death before it just gets too crowded in the afterlife? I mean what do you do up there anyway...kiss God's ass for eternity? Or suck his cock and get high off the immaculate semen? There is so much information about what goes on in Hell but nothing about Heaven. Heaven must be the most boring place in the world. No sex. No drugs. No rock 'n roll. Just a bunch of ass kissers...BOOORING...


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## Tina (Apr 10, 2006)

And yet, to many you would be considered dull and boorish. It's all relative, eh?


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## Jes (Apr 10, 2006)

Jane said:


> I've always thought most men were much more bothered by peer pressure than most women. It must be that "team" thing.



Right--and it's a larger problem than looks, even. Just HAVING a gf (sex is fine--but the committment thing, that's the whip) will get a guy lots of nagging from other guys. Women tend not to act that way. Hello patriarchy, yet again. 

I have to remind myself of that when I'm sure I'm experiencing something b/c I'm a plain fat chick. A lot of my worries just aren't true. If only fat chicks got dumped, then Brad wouldn't have left Jennifer for Angelina, etc.


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## Tina (Apr 10, 2006)

So true, Jes.


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## Thrifty McGriff (Apr 11, 2006)

I have yet to meet another man with my sexual preference in person, and I really wish I had an "FA" friend in person and not just online. In the meantime, I'm the only one I know of in person.  

I don't know the rarity of "FA"s.


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## pickleman357 (Apr 11, 2006)

well, there's the rarity of FAs in general
the % of them that actually accept the fact that they're FAs
the % of those that are willing to admit it online
then the % of those willing to admit it in person.
and the % of those still that are willing to admit it in public

so yeah, it can be rather rare, which sucks

Hey, I'm only 45 minutes from ya, if my g/f wouldn't kill me, we could go to this club I know and pick up some lovely fat women and show them how beautiful they are!!!


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## Thrifty McGriff (Apr 11, 2006)

Being tired as I was, I didn't even notice the extra four pages on this thread.

After reading Voidhead's input, I can only sigh. Although the last bit about religion gave me a good laugh.


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## TraciJo67 (Apr 13, 2006)

voidhead said:


> Haha thanks for the feedback girls. Yes, I am a real FA out in the world...not a troll and also not "in the closet".
> 
> I'm simply of the opinion that a lot of people I meet are inherently uninteresting and I therefore choose to spend time with those who are worth my time.
> 
> ...



I'd really like to know what makes you think that you are one of the "interesting" and worthwhile people. From where I'm sitting, you're rather dull and predictable. I'd guess that you're also quite deeply depressed (extremely cynical much?), but that isn't my problem. Your verbal diarrhea is lewd and offensive, and I hate stumbling across it. Get some help, guy.


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## Vince (Apr 13, 2006)

Voidhead is a cynic. He is candid and says what is on his mind in a colourful way. He makes me laugh!  I mean, the guy has got a nerve.


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## Friday (Apr 13, 2006)

Void (+ head)

Pronunciation (void) adj.
1. Containing no matter; empty.
2. Not occupied; unfilled.
3. Completely lacking; devoid: *void of understanding**. See Synonyms at empty.
4. Ineffective; useless.

By his own definition, this is what is in his head. I think it's spreading to his soul.

* Bolding is mine.


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## UberAris (Apr 13, 2006)

The guy is asking to be booted, plain and simple. Constantly contradicting himself to save his own arse, on top of that, I find no humor in his quotes, and a blunt unwavering ignorance into FA'ism, size acceptance, and just the over all treatment of women in genral. Quite annoying, quite disgusting.


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## Tina (Apr 13, 2006)

Hi Friday! Nice to see you back again!


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## Thrifty McGriff (Apr 13, 2006)

Friday said:


> Void (+ head)
> 
> Pronunciation (void) adj.
> 1. Containing no matter; empty.
> ...



Haha, you beat me to the punch. Damn!


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## Thrifty McGriff (Apr 13, 2006)

UberAris said:


> The guy is asking to be booted, plain and simple. Constantly contradicting himself to save his own arse, on top of that, I find no humor in his quotes, and a blunt unwavering ignorance into FA'ism, size acceptance, and just the over all treatment of women in genral. Quite annoying, quite disgusting.



Agreed.

Thats all I have to contribute.


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## Friday (Apr 14, 2006)

You know well how to lure me T. :bow: LOL


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## OpalBBW (Apr 15, 2006)

UberAris said:


> The guy is asking to be booted, plain and simple. Constantly contradicting himself to save his own arse, on top of that, I find no humor in his quotes, and a blunt unwavering ignorance into FA'ism, size acceptance, and just the over all treatment of women in genral. Quite annoying, quite disgusting.



May I just say, for the record, THANK YOU! You said that simply so I wouldn't have to get into rant mode.


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