# Anti-Fat Friends



## BigBeautifulRed (Dec 9, 2008)

do you have a friend who is your good friend and doesnt see you as fat but then will say things about fat people and it kinda hurts? My roomate is a really good friend of mine, our boyfriends are cousins and practically brothers and we are good friends but sometimes she says things about how she used to be so fat, how hard it must be to be fat. etc. 

one time, ooo it really got to me. She was like "I mean I could never be that fat (refering to a tv special about someone who was immobile) my sister is a 9/10 and she can never find clothes." WHAT THE F***!!!! your sister is
still in juniors sizes and shes 24!

When she says stuff about fat people makes me think, and maybe I'm paranoid but I bet she says stuff about me to others like "Amy, is really pretty but if she lost some weight she could be gorgeous." I know she doesn't think I'm ugly, not yet at least because she told me that the first time she saw me she thought I was really pretty out of the blue one day. She also sometimes makes comments about my big butt or chest and I just reply "yeah be jealous". Maybe I'm wrong but she prob is jealous since she is 20 years old and still can shop in little girl sizes. Seriously one of my fists are bigger than her chest. 

And my boyfriends cousin, has said to her before appearntly that he thinks big boobs and big butts are gross. She told me that, like what am I supposed to say? Um okay? I was like "Well John loves that about me and wouldn't ever want me any other way" And I know I am going to be a bigger girl later in life, and I know John will stand by me no matter what anyone else thinks. 

I know this turned out to be a rant but curiosity is sitll abound. How do you respond to double faced pepole who are anti-fat?


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Dec 9, 2008)

If somebody says "You know, you could be so pretty if you lost some weight" respond with "You could be so pretty if you had radical plastic surgery." 

Thankfully I have had few knowingly anti-fat friends.


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## BigBeautifulRed (Dec 9, 2008)

hahah thats a good one. I'm good on my feet, it's just sometimes, it hurts. I'm sure you know the feeling as well.


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## g-squared (Dec 9, 2008)

One of my closest friends is this way kind of. I'm a kind of big guy, but she doesn't really acknowledge that. Though, it's clear from talking to her that she associates being fat with being unattractive to some degree. Sometimes she'll make a remark, that makes me think, "haha, have you seen me".


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## littlefairywren (Dec 9, 2008)

An old friend of mine that I was quite close to had a terrible habit of making fun of fat people whenever we went shopping or out together. She would make snide remarks about them as they walked by. I asked her if she had an issue with fat people (it seemed to be mainly women). She denied having a problem and suggested I was a "bit too sensitive" Of course she never looked at me that way! Yeah right!

I let her know that what she was doing was what other people did to me. She could not see the link. Needless to say we are no longer friends. Too much bad energy!


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## elle camino (Dec 9, 2008)

nope. anyone i know who's got some kind of shitty attitude about fat is summarily ousted from the 'potential friend' pool, no exceptions. luckily it very rarely comes to that since i'm way fat myself, so if someone's got a problem with fat people they generally tend not to gravitate towards me (no pun intended) as a friend. 

the closest i ever come to worrying about all that is VERY occasionally i'll make a friend at school (so the kind of friend you don't really hang out with after the quarter's over), who'll gripe about her own body and how she'd like to lose weight to look better, yada yada. being the kind of person i am, however, i've never had any problem with nipping that in the bud immediately by having a conversation along the lines of "well i actually _am_ fat and i happen to think i'm pretty alright looking, so this whole topic is pretty boring and a little bit irritating to me. so maybe save all that for another friend of yours who's more apt to sympathize."
it's just that easy, really. i've never had anyone get pissed about it or act weird afterward, we just move on to another discussion. 

but like i said, those aren't serious, long-term friends of mine. my real friends are as body-positive and size-accepting as i am, if not moreso. 
guess maybe i've lucked out a bit in that regard, but it's also a result of carefully weeding out the lameos over the years.

edit: also a lot of my friends are fat themselves. that helps too.


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## Melian (Dec 9, 2008)

A lot of my female friends are fat, but there was this one thin woman who was sort of in our circle a few years ago - she managed to blatantly insult everyone time and time again, to the point where she was just dismissed. She'd mention how she was going to the gym that day and this friend or that friend really needs to come, too. If the friend actually went, she'd mock her the whole time, saying that she wasn't trying, looked gross, etc. Or she'd brag about whatever small size clothing she was wearing, stuff like that. I don't know how some people put up with her crap for as long as they did, however, some of it was likely due to pity, for reasons I won't mention here.

So a little over a year later, she starts coming out again, despite the fact that everyone can't stand her...and she's fat. Wonder what she's saying now?


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## bunzarella (Dec 9, 2008)

I don't think I have one fat friend. All of my friends are stereotypically thin and attractive, both men and women. It's just how it all played out. Sometimes, they do make comments about fat people, or even me being fat. I don't take it as an insult or caddy remark. That's what friends do, they knitpick on each other's faults. Not necessarily the nicest thing in the world, but you know that every one does it.

I am most of my friends' only fat friend. And I think I am all of my males friends only female fat friend. A few have told me straight up that they don't really talk to fat people but I am an exception. I don't take that as a problem. I am honored by that. That means I am fucking awesome. 

You can only get upset by things you allow yourself to get upset by. If skinnier people think they are fat and want to lose weight, who are we to tell them otherwise? The majority of women have body issues, be it too small, too big, weird hips, one bigger boob than the other...if they aren't happy with themselves...let them try to change it. They will (hopefully) eventually realize that its not their body they are upset with...if they don't realize that, then you saying "i'm fat and I look okay" isn't going to help their ridiculous issues anyway.


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## Ruffie (Dec 9, 2008)

I thankfully don't have any "friends" that are anti fat. I do however have some staff at work and family that feel this way. I have heard them putting down people who are overweight, dress differently or don't put themselves together as they feel they should. How do I deal with it. By taking opportunities to use teachable moments to provide education and let them know I know of their prejudice.
We deal with at risk youth and alot of times the staff has trouble understanding why the kids have trouble getting past where they are, the attitudes people have about them when they try to get them jobs, training or assistance through social agencies. I relate that to my struggles as a fat person because I to am judged by how I look rather than the merits of what I have to offer as a woman. When I explained how I have been denied proper medical care, jobs, insurance, men dismiss me without a second glance and so on because of what I look like it sometimes turns on a light bulb.

With family and people who I am getting to know that display the anti fat vibe or out and out sentiment. I simply avoid much contact with them. My life is challenging enough, and I have decided to live my life as best as I can to just be me, body and soul. Anyone who cannot support that is not welcome along for the ride!
Ruth


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## BigBeautifulRed (Dec 9, 2008)

g-squared said:


> One of my closest friends is this way kind of. I'm a kind of big guy, but she doesn't really acknowledge that. Though, it's clear from talking to her that she associates being fat with being unattractive to some degree. Sometimes she'll make a remark, that makes me think, "haha, have you seen me".



exactly how i feel


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## BigBeautifulRed (Dec 9, 2008)

kmdkml said:


> An old friend of mine that I was quite close to had a terrible habit of making fun of fat people whenever we went shopping or out together. She would make snide remarks about them as they walked by. I asked her if she had an issue with fat people (it seemed to be mainly women). She denied having a problem and suggested I was a "bit too sensitive" Of course she never looked at me that way! Yeah right!
> 
> I let her know that what she was doing was what other people did to me. She could not see the link. Needless to say we are no longer friends. Too much bad energy!



she doesnt make fun of people in public, its just sometimes or once when we were watching the tv special so i know the thoughts are there.


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## TraciJo67 (Dec 9, 2008)

bunzarella said:


> I am most of my friends' only fat friend. And I think I am all of my males friends only female fat friend. A few have told me straight up that they don't really talk to fat people but I am an exception. I don't take that as a problem. I am honored by that. That means I am fucking awesome.



Well, take "fat" and substitute "minority". Would you want to be friends with someone who wouldn't normally talk to a black person ... but THAT black person is an exception (because he/she doesn't appear "too" black or "too" ethnic).

I'm not friendly with bigots. Period. The very notion makes me ill, frankly. And I don't care if I'm the awesome exception to a person like that, because it's not about the other person at all. It's about me, and what I'm comfortable with.


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## gangstadawg (Dec 9, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> Well, take "fat" and substitute "minority". Would you want to be friends with someone who wouldn't normally talk to a black person ... but THAT black person is an exception (because he/she doesn't appear "too" black or "too" ethnic).
> 
> I'm not friendly with bigots. Period. The very notion makes me ill, frankly. And I don't care if I'm the awesome exception to a person like that, because it's not about the other person at all. It's about me, and what I'm comfortable with.


i heavily agree. that "but your an exception" phrase is bullshit.


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## Tad (Dec 9, 2008)

I'm not quite in that situation, but I do have one friend who, when he is being candid, has little but disdain for any woman who is not absolutely scrawny. My wife is no stranger to plus sizes.

There have been a couple of times where he came very close to killing a friendship that started in grade school with ill considered comments, and although we've managed to stay friends there is a distance that would not be there otherwise.

I don't think he is too impressed with my weight either, but he's less toxic about fat on guys.

It is definitely a case of deciding that the balance of the things says it is worth putting up with knowing what he thinks, even if he's learned to keep his mouth shut about the subject most of the time.


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## No-No-Badkitty (Dec 9, 2008)

I think a lot of these people who "hate" fat, only hate it out of fear. Much like any self proclaimed superior group they have to find some one (anyone) to be the sacrificial cow. Someone has to be the symbol for their own internal failures.
Fat people are easy targets simply because it's still PC to pick on them.


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## AnnMarie (Dec 9, 2008)

Thread title, for my life, is an oxy-moron. 

I won't allow it. If you know me, you know I'm fat and fine with it... deal or get lost. There's no way in hell anyone who's a friend of mine would make a fat-hating comment without finding out very damn quick how I feel and how that just impacted our friendship.


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## thatgirl08 (Dec 9, 2008)

I absolutely love my friends more than anyone and I wouldn't trade them for anything but they do make the occasional anti-fat comment and they occasionally overstep the line but I have no problem telling them to shut the fuck up. I know they don't do it to hurt me, I think they just don't always think before they speak. I mean, we're still in high school.. I think it's really hard for people to seperate themselves from the general "this is what is attractive" mentality at this age. 

I also find a lot of their comments come from the fact that they simply don't understand what it's like to be a fat girl. There are just certain things I'm more sensitive too and certain things that are just.. different. Sometimes they seem more inconsiderate than purposely mean. You know, some of them still drag me into stores and hold up junior sized clothes and go "this would be so cute on you!" I realize something like that probably shouldn't bother me.. and it doesn't as much anymore.. but it certainly used to because I was like shit, I just want to be able to wear the same stuff as them but anyway, my point is like, it didn't click with them that duh.. I'm too big for juniors clothes.

I give my friends a little slack though because I know I've said some pretty dumb things to them in the past too.

EDIT: I just wanted to add that I think you need to determine for yourself whether your friends are being mean on purpose and whether they really mean what they say or not. I know that overall my friends are well meaning and care about me so it doesn't bother me as much.


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## Cors (Dec 9, 2008)

Any negative weight-related comment, even if it is not about me or someone my size generally makes me bristle. I can't NOT call them out on something like that even if they don't have bad intentions and it is just going to trigger a pointless argument I find it impossible to be good friends with someone who feels the need to build themselves up by tearing others down. Grrrr. 

And well, I can understand why some think fat people can be seen as easy targets to pick on but I think that also depends on where you are and what the majority is. People who stick out in some way (ethnic minority, queer, too fat, too thin, funny accent, weird clothes etc.) usually end up getting bullied or made fun of. People do point and stare if they see say, a US size 16 girl in Asia because it is so rare. In the US, where size 16 is the national average, someone who is a size 0 (yes, you can be too thin even for Hollywood - look at how Nicole Richie and Mary Kate Olsen got bashed at their lowest weights) or a size 24 is so much more likely to get flak for their size. 

I am insecure though, and know that the person who made that comment is likely to be as insecure (and possibly


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## BigBeautifulRed (Dec 9, 2008)

we spar back and forth, its fun sometimes. Today I zinged her quite good. She goes " I think my boobs are getting smaller" and I go " If you wanna call those tumors coming off your chest boobs" yeah petty and kindergardenish I know but we both deal. Besides I know John would never let her get away with seriously hurting me. He wouldn't let anyone.


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## Chimpi (Dec 9, 2008)

At this moment, there are only two situations that have come up in my mind. Both of them only half relate to this thread:

Our company invests in t-shirts, not only for advertisement, but as slogans. These t-shirts that we get in are free of charge, given out for renting an instrument, purchasing an instrument, taking lesson(s) or otherwise doing business with us. The last batch we received in are pretty cool shirts; at least I like them.
Before the boss ordered them, he came into the repair shop to tell us about them, just so that we had a heads up. After he was through telling us, I asked, "Will there be really fat sizes? You know, for me and others fatter than I?" He couldn't just say yes. He had to politicize it as much as possible. "Yes, we will be getting in sizes for people that require a larger size than myself and some other employees we have here. I try to include everyone as much as possible."
Listen, asshole. I'm fat. It's a word that describes me. Get over it.

The other situation comes about every once in a while, where a co-worker will be talking about someone, and they'll say something like "... and some fat guy was standing in my way, so I said [usually something like "excuse me" is put in this spot]." I respond, "Fat like me? Or like, fatter than I am?"
There's never a response.

This political, anti-fat, immature bullshit really gets on my nerves, sometimes. Sometimes it is hard to keep a level head and remember that people are influenced for so long, they're set in their ways. Many of those people are oftentimes good people. But it really makes me just want to release napalm on the entire planet.


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## bunzarella (Dec 10, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> Well, take "fat" and substitute "minority". Would you want to be friends with someone who wouldn't normally talk to a black person ... but THAT black person is an exception (because he/she doesn't appear "too" black or "too" ethnic).
> 
> I'm not friendly with bigots. Period. The very notion makes me ill, frankly. And I don't care if I'm the awesome exception to a person like that, because it's not about the other person at all. It's about me, and what I'm comfortable with.



I am comfortable with whomever...how can you discriminate against bigots? Doesn't that make you one in the same? I am the minority more than that...I'm their only Jewish friend too...i don't care if they hate people, hell I hate people. Take what people say however you want...if you take it as an insult, it will be an insult....if you take it with a grain of salt...your life will be a lot more fun...


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## elle camino (Dec 10, 2008)

bunzarella said:


> ...how can you discriminate against bigots? Doesn't that make you one in the same?


no.......................


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## Mini (Dec 10, 2008)

bunzarella said:


> I am comfortable with whomever...how can you discriminate against bigots? Doesn't that make you one in the same?



What you are effectively saying, possibly without even realizing it, is that there's a moral equivalency between having biases and rejecting those biases. Fuck that, it's a ridiculous argument.

I am a better person than one who advocates slavery, or oppression, or segregation of the races, or any of that shit, and SO ARE YOU. We know that it's fuckin' wrong because we DO discriminate against the assholes who think like that.


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## FaxMachine1234 (Dec 10, 2008)

Mini said:


> What you are effectively saying, possibly without even realizing it, is that there's a moral equivalency between having biases and rejecting those biases. Fuck that, it's a ridiculous argument.
> 
> I am a better person than one who advocates slavery, or oppression, or segregation of the races, or any of that shit, and SO ARE YOU. We know that it's fuckin' wrong because we DO discriminate against the assholes who think like that.



True 'Nuff. You've just gotta snip negative people out of your life whenever possible; you'll live longer.


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## URTalking2Jenn (Dec 10, 2008)

Most of my friends aren't anti-fat per say, they just don't talk about it in front of me, in less it's in there golden quote. "Jenn you would be so pretty if you only lost some weight." 

One of my very good friends, would stand up for me when I would talk about my family's view of me being fat, and she always had good things to say to me about my weight. Then she got engaged and everyone thought I would be her maid of honor, but she never asked me. Later I found out that she didn't want me in her wedding because I was so much fatter then everyone that she didn't want me to mess up the "look," and she didn't think I could fit into the dress she wanted. That took me for a loop, it came out of no where and yet, she still acted like everything was totally the same. 

On the other hand, when my best friend got engaged, who is a stick, she went out of her way to make me feel loved and she had me pick out the dresses for the wedding so I would feel good at her wedding. We had both been friends with the other girl and she was just as mad as I was. She even made a big deal about in front of our old friend.


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## Cors (Dec 10, 2008)

Cors said:


> Any negative weight-related comment, even if it is not about me or someone my size generally makes me bristle. I can't NOT call them out on something like that even if they don't have bad intentions and it is just going to trigger a pointless argument. I find it impossible to be good friends with someone who feels the need to build themselves up by tearing others down. Grrrr.
> 
> And well, I can understand why some think fat people can be seen as easy targets to pick on but I think that also depends on where you are and what the majority is. People who stick out in some way (ethnic minority, queer, too fat, too thin, funny accent, weird clothes etc.) usually end up getting bullied or made fun of. People do point and stare if they see say, a US size 16 girl in Asia because it is so rare. In the US, where size 16 is the national average, someone who is a size 0 (yes, you can be too thin even for Hollywood - look at how Nicole Richie and Mary Kate Olsen got bashed at their lowest weights) or a size 24 is so much more likely to get flak for their size.
> 
> I am insecure though, and know that the person who made that comment is likely to be as insecure (and possibly



even more so). 

Sigh must not post when I am tired and annoyed. :/


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## bunzarella (Dec 10, 2008)

Mini said:


> What you are effectively saying, possibly without even realizing it, is that there's a moral equivalency between having biases and rejecting those biases. Fuck that, it's a ridiculous argument.
> 
> I am a better person than one who advocates slavery, or oppression, or segregation of the races, or any of that shit, and SO ARE YOU. We know that it's fuckin' wrong because we DO discriminate against the assholes who think like that.



It is a ridiculous argument, I agree. I was just throwing it out there. Not necessarily everything I say I totally agree with. I like to see what people have to say to other arguments that what everyone else would write. That being said, it is true that I hang with people I don't agree with all the time. Just because they feel one way about something doesn't make them a "bad person." 

As for the "and SO ARE YOU" part...why must you assume you know me and how good of a person I am? I think I am a good person, but I have completely different feelings about many of the things I sure you feet strongly about, so I could be a "bad person" in your eyes. So be it. I'm content with who I am and who I hang with...and if i am their only fat friend because they hate other fatties...that's fine with me. I'm not going to complain.


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## TraciJo67 (Dec 10, 2008)

bunzarella said:


> It is a ridiculous argument, I agree. I was just throwing it out there. Not necessarily everything I say I totally agree with. I like to see what people have to say to other arguments that what everyone else would write. That being said, it is true that I hang with people I don't agree with all the time. Just because they feel one way about something doesn't make them a "bad person."
> 
> As for the "and SO ARE YOU" part...why must you assume you know me and how good of a person I am? I think I am a good person, but I have completely different feelings about many of the things I sure you feet strongly about, so I could be a "bad person" in your eyes. So be it. I'm content with who I am and who I hang with...and if i am their only fat friend because they hate other fatties...that's fine with me. I'm not going to complain.



If your "friends" hate other fatties, then they aren't doing you any favors by tolerating you. Because that is, in essence, what they are doing. You honestly think they can separate their fat phobia as related to other people from their feelings about you? If they aren't saying it to your face, they are most assuredly doing it behind your back. It is what bigots do. 

I don't think that you're a bad person at all. I think you just need to learn a bit more about separating the wheat from the chaff. Eventually, you will.


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## bunzarella (Dec 10, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> If your "friends" hate other fatties, then they aren't doing you any favors by tolerating you. Because that is, in essence, what they are doing. You honestly think they can separate their fat phobia as related to other people from their feelings about you? If they aren't saying it to your face, they are most assuredly doing it behind your back. It is what bigots do.
> 
> I don't think that you're a bad person at all. I think you just need to learn a bit more about separating the wheat from the chaff. Eventually, you will.



No no, they say it to my face and I am fine with that. I know who and what I am. It is no secret that i am fat and I have no problem letting the world know. I make fat jokes, they make fat jokes, everyone makes fat jokes. And then we make fun of them for whatever (geekiness, hairiness, etc). What you DON'T know about me is that I am content with myself so I don't have complexes when people make mention to my size. That's probably WHY I am their only fat friend, because I don't cry about a comment here and there. 

As for separating the wheat from the chaff as you said, I have done that. I don't waste my time with people who aren't my friends. I know who is out for my greater good and who is out to have a laugh. I'm not going to say "you don't know my friends and me and how we are together" because that is a lame argument, but until you meet them, and see how they are, you probably shouldn't hate on them just because they have good taste in fat people. I don't befriend many fat people because I find them to have major issues in general. In fact I don't befriend anyone with major body issues because I find them to be cliche and boring. Mental and social issues are WAY more interesting in people!!!


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## LisaInNC (Dec 10, 2008)

My oldest brother thinks fat women are gross and often comments, " I would never date a fat woman, they are gross!" and I usually say, "well thats ok cause fat women dont date ugly men"


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## TraciJo67 (Dec 10, 2008)

bunzarella said:


> No no, they say it to my face and I am fine with that. I know who and what I am. It is no secret that i am fat and I have no problem letting the world know. I make fat jokes, they make fat jokes, everyone makes fat jokes. And then we make fun of them for whatever (geekiness, hairiness, etc). What you DON'T know about me is that I am content with myself so I don't have complexes when people make mention to my size. That's probably WHY I am their only fat friend, because I don't cry about a comment here and there.
> 
> As for separating the wheat from the chaff as you said, I have done that. I don't waste my time with people who aren't my friends. I know who is out for my greater good and who is out to have a laugh. I'm not going to say "you don't know my friends and me and how we are together" because that is a lame argument, but until you meet them, and see how they are, you probably shouldn't hate on them just because they have good taste in fat people. I don't befriend many fat people because I find them to have major issues in general. In fact I don't befriend anyone with major body issues because I find them to be cliche and boring. Mental and social issues are WAY more interesting in people!!!




Well, if it works for you.


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## blueeyedevie (Dec 10, 2008)

As far as fat negative friends I have always been around people that were like just what you explained. When I was a teenager it was so bad. I use to stay with a friend, whose mother would go on and on about us fatties and talk about how fat she was when she was quite a bit smaller than I was. Then I had no confidence and no respect for myself. Things have since changed. When I run into a friend or someone I am getting to know that has a bad attitude about themselves (which is basically what it boils down to) I let them know that being fat is OK, it has its perks and that they really should take a long look in the mirror and see if it is what they see that is bothering them so much or is it what they cant see.


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## LillyBBBW (Dec 10, 2008)

Chimpi said:


> At this moment, there are only two situations that have come up in my mind. Both of them only half relate to this thread:
> 
> Our company invests in t-shirts, not only for advertisement, but as slogans. These t-shirts that we get in are free of charge, given out for renting an instrument, purchasing an instrument, taking lesson(s) or otherwise doing business with us. The last batch we received in are pretty cool shirts; at least I like them.
> Before the boss ordered them, he came into the repair shop to tell us about them, just so that we had a heads up. After he was through telling us, I asked, "Will there be really fat sizes? You know, for me and others fatter than I?" He couldn't just say yes. He had to politicize it as much as possible. "Yes, we will be getting in sizes for people that require a larger size than myself and some other employees we have here. I try to include everyone as much as possible."
> ...



I've used that response too and get no reply. Chances are the person wasn't nearly as fat as I am. It's fun.

In the long run I rarely kept friends like that except for political reasons. Now days the dynamic has changed a bit. We're getting old. Old enough to watch our parents spend time in hospitals, old enough to see ourselves deteriorate in small ways and worry about future health concerns. People are either thinking about or in the process of doing things to improve or prevent health issues. I don't usually discuss my health practices. It would take too long and it's not my style anyway. The conversations usually consist of cheerleading about their diets to lose weight, control type II diabetes, etc. This isn't really a problem but on three separate occasions with three completely unrelated individuals the conversation turned to some famous dead fat person like Luther Vandros or Nel Carter and how awful it is that they're dead. Best to not get defensive about it and let it pass but at this point I do find it's getting a little irritating.


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## Ruffie (Dec 10, 2008)

Bunzerella it boils down to this for me. I certainly have friends that do not agree with everything I do. And I am sure they feel the same about some of my life choices and views. I have some friends that are concerned with my health being overweight, but that is very different from making negative comments about fat people around me. They show their concern by checking in with me after I go to the docs to ensure I am ok, exercising with me, and sharing healthy food with me. I can respect that, cause it comes from the heart and is not pushed on me. I have had the opposite in my life though. 
I had a friend who was an incredibly kind and generous person. She has overweight relatives of whom she speaks negatively all the time and struggles with her own weight. She has a new diet, exercise routine and advise on what I need to do to be all I can be every time I see her. I have told her I dieted form the age of 8 to 22 and that is why I am the size I am, and am not interested in trying all the latest stuff, please don't push this stuff on me. She persists. And what bothers me the most is how she does it with her own kids. She has one son naturally thin like his dad and the other two like her. She harps and bitches at the other two, measures what they can eat on their plate and cooks only healthy food for them and lets the other one eat whatever he wants. I had to sort of let the friendship drop because I can't stand the way she is with her kids, her sisters, and with me. So cause our husbands are friends too we get together once in a while, but when he goes to their place for coffee I stay home so as not to snap on her and damage the guys friendship. She doesn't respect the boundaries I have tried to set with her, doesn't respect that my fat is a part of who I am, and tries to impose her views whether its on health and nutrition, politics, social issues or whatever on me. That is not the give and take of a good friendship.
Perhaps what the other posters are trying to get across to you is to evaluate for yourself if these people do have best interests at heart. I have mostly thin friends too, but I am careful to only keep the ones that like me for me, all of me body and soul. Those that don't become acquaintances.
Ruth


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## bunzarella (Dec 10, 2008)

Ruffie said:


> Perhaps what the other posters are trying to get across to you is to evaluate for yourself if these people do have best interests at heart. I have mostly thin friends too, but I am careful to only keep the ones that like me for me, all of me body and soul. Those that don't become acquaintances.
> Ruth



I appreciate your anecdote. I understand what you are getting at and I get why people are concerned. I know I am young and young people think they know everything and blah blah blah, but I do know about a few things and social relationships is probably my main one. I didn't have any friends in middle school and up through most of high school. I actually hung out with the losers cuz I was a loser. But I learned a lot from that and now I choose my friends VERY VERY wisely. Yes, they make fun of me. Yes, they are concerned about me. No, they never make me feel inadequate or disgusting or worthless. Yes, they go to the gym with me. No, they never tear me down to actually be hurtful. I know what I am doing when it comes to people I decided to spend time with. I don't waste my time...ever! I don't talk to people not worth my time. And if these friends turn out to be wastes of time...I don't slowly end the friendship, I'd drop em...just like that. I'm a strong person who is proud of who she is and I got that way FAR before dimensions came into my life.


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## No-No-Badkitty (Dec 10, 2008)

I think I understand what Bunzilla is saying. And in some ways I do agree.
One of the things that comes with total PC is the loss (or maybe even fear) of humor. We need to be able to laugh at ourselves. Always. As well as look at and even examine the downfalls and shortcoming that being (what ever that may be) what we are. I think one of the best people to do this is Carlos Mencia. He has a point that we create prejudice by fearing it. We create divisions by forcing ourselves to be the same.
True bigots only have power with their words because we give it to them. By fearing a word, a thought, or a belief we empower them to hurt us (any one not just fat people). When we no longer fear those words, reclaim them, use them, we defuse them. They no longer have what ever magical force they possessed because we have chosen to take it away.


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## TraciJo67 (Dec 10, 2008)

No-No-Badkitty said:


> I think I understand what Bunzilla is saying. And in some ways I do agree.
> One of the things that comes with total PC is the loss (or maybe even fear) of humor. We need to be able to laugh at ourselves. Always. As well as look at and even examine the downfalls and shortcoming that being (what ever that may be) what we are. I think one of the best people to do this is Carlos Mencia. He has a point that we create prejudice by fearing it. We create divisions by forcing ourselves to be the same.
> True bigots only have power with their words because we give it to them. By fearing a word, a thought, or a belief we empower them to hurt us (any one not just fat people). When we no longer fear those words, reclaim them, use them, we defuse them. They no longer have what ever magical force they possessed because we have chosen to take it away.



I wasn't reading what bunzarella wrote as an otherwise decent person having stereotypical "concerns" about fat people in general (that, I can deal with, as I think it's ignorance, not inherent bias). What I read was this:



bunzarella said:


> A few have told me straight up that they don't really talk to fat people but I am an exception. I don't take that as a problem. I am honored by that. That means I am fucking awesome.



Well, no. Bunzarella may be fucking awesome for many reasons, but being an "exception" to the "stereotypical" fat person isn't one of them. 

And this:



bunzarella said:


> I don't befriend many fat people because I find them to have major issues in general.



... just makes my heart sing


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## AnnMarie (Dec 10, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> ... just makes my heart sing



Yeah, there's something in those last two quotes about the exception that proves the rule.... it's just.... out... of.... reach.... but.... uuuggghhhh.... 

I can see it over there.


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## Mini (Dec 10, 2008)

bunzarella said:


> As for the "and SO ARE YOU" part...why must you assume you know me and how good of a person I am? I think I am a good person, but I have completely different feelings about many of the things I sure you feet strongly about, so I could be a "bad person" in your eyes.



This is why I rarely give people the benefit of the doubt. Damn you, conscience! That's the last time I listen to you.


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## supersoup (Dec 10, 2008)

everything i wanted to say in regards to reading the insanity of the "my friends won't stoop to talk to fatties, but i'm told i'm an exception, woot that's so cool" anecdote has already been said.

i shall be doling out bacon rep to you folks. EVEN THOUGH I WOULDN'T NORMALLY STOOP TO REPPING YOU KINDS OF PEOPLE, I'LL MAKE AN EXCEPTION TODAY.


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## Suze (Dec 10, 2008)

bunzarella said:


> I am most of my friends' only fat friend. And I think I am all of my males friends only female fat friend. A few have told me straight up that they don't really talk to fat people but I am an exception. I don't take that as a problem. I am honored by that. That means I am fucking awesome.


i'm sorry, but this is just pathetic, bunz.


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## gangstadawg (Dec 10, 2008)

susieQ said:


> i'm sorry, but this is just pathetic, bunz.


i have to agree.


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## SamanthaNY (Dec 10, 2008)

bunzarella said:


> I don't think I have one fat friend.
> I am most of my friends' only fat friend. And I think I am all of my males friends only female fat friend. A few have told me straight up that they don't really talk to fat people but I am an exception. I don't take that as a problem. I am honored by that. That means I am fucking awesome.
> if i am their only fat friend because they hate other fatties...that's fine with me. I'm not going to complain.
> I don't waste my time with people who aren't my friends. I don't befriend many fat people because I find them to have major issues in general. In fact I don't befriend anyone with major body issues because I find them to be cliche and boring. Mental and social issues are WAY more interesting in people!!!
> I don't waste my time...ever! I don't talk to people not worth my time. And if these friends turn out to be wastes of time...I don't slowly end the friendship, I'd drop em...just like that. I'm a strong person who is proud of who she is and I got that way FAR before dimensions came into my life.


If you feel no kinship with fat people, waste no time, and feel best with people who deride fatties ("oh... but not _you_"), I just have to ask... why are you spending your time (omg! ther goz ur timez!) _here_, ground zero for the dreaded, "issue-ridden" fat people you profess to exclude from your life?

This can be a fantastic place for many - I'm just curious as to what possible value could there be for you here.


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## LillyBBBW (Dec 10, 2008)

SamanthaNY said:


> If you feel no kinship with fat people, waste no time, and feel best with people who deride fatties ("oh... but not _you_"), I just have to ask... why are you spending your time (omg! ther goz ur timez!) _here_, ground zero for the dreaded, "issue-ridden" fat people you profess to exclude from your life?
> 
> This can be a fantastic place for many - I'm just curious as to what possible value could there be for you here.



To meet men of course.


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## JoeFA (Dec 12, 2008)

I think it's really annoying about how in your face people can be when talking about their opinions. Like i have a friend who is the exact definition of anti-fat, so whenever we're walking about town or something and he encounters or even just sees a larger person from a distance, he'll immediately start talking about how disgusting and unatural they are, even when that person is quite nearby and can probably hear him.

I know thats really harsh, but i wont just dislike him for that. Maybe if i was fat myself i would, but i only like fat women, as a preference to other, slimmer women. It doesn't come down to size, but if i can find a woman whose kind, friendly, fun to be around and also fat, then i'm in dreamland .

People are entitled to their opinions, and i say that to my friend whenever he's beeing to overly mean towards fat people, and i dislike it when he does it a little also, but like i said people are entitled to their own opinions about anything. You may not like them but have to accept them and work with that.

So whenever he's been going on about this too long, i'll say "Ok fair enough, you can have your own opinion, but you don't have to been an absolute dickhead about it mate", and then he'll either hit me, not that hard mind, or change the subject in compliance with what i've said, depending on his mood at the time.

I think you should either learn to live with criticism, though i understand for alot of people that can be very hard, if it's particularly malicious criticism, or just not talk to that friend for a while or just plain confront them about it.


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## TraciJo67 (Dec 12, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> I think it's really annoying about how in your face people can be when talking about their opinions. Like i have a friend who is the exact definition of anti-fat, so whenever we're walking about town or something and he encounters or even just sees a larger person from a distance, he'll immediately start talking about how disgusting and unatural they are, even when that person is quite nearby and can probably hear him.
> 
> I know thats really harsh, but i wont just dislike him for that. Maybe if i was fat myself i would, but i only like fat women, as a preference to other, slimmer women. It doesn't come down to size, but if i can find a woman whose kind, friendly, fun to be around and also fat, then i'm in dreamland .
> 
> ...




.... or you could just kick that kind of "friend" to the curb, which is exactly what I'd do. 

You choose to live with his rude, malicious, contemptible behavior. Bully for you. I'd choose none of your above options -- I'd simply lose his phone number, and not later. Why reason with a bigot? And not talking to him for a while -- uh, would the silent treatment cure him of major assholery? And nope, I'm not too sensitive. And yep, I agree, everyone is entitled to his/her opinions ... even the bigoted and hateful ones. Express them in front of me, though ... and I'm gone, baby, gone. 

<insert cartoon vamoose cut-out here>


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## JoeFA (Dec 12, 2008)

Well i was kinda saying what i said as an example, not a definite decision for all others to follow. He's just the only friend i know who hates fat people. And maybe it's just cause we both are from a public school, dont know if you know much about english ones but the people there, as a group, can be a bit mean to certain types of people, jews, gays and fat people. I'm not saying i agree with that at all, i'm just saying i have a friend who has such views towards fat people and seeing that i like him alot, apart from his one fault, i don't want to just cut him out of my life, and it's not as if i dont make myself clear about such issues. I do tell him that yes he's entitled to his opinion, but that he should shut up about it cause not everyone agrees with it (me for one).


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## TraciJo67 (Dec 12, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> Well i was kinda saying what i said as an example, not a definite decision for all others to follow. He's just the only friend i know who hates fat people. And maybe it's just cause we both are from a public school, dont know if you know much about english ones but the people there, as a group, can be a bit mean to certain types of people, jews, gays and fat people. I'm not saying i agree with that at all, i'm just saying i have a friend who has such views towards fat people and seeing that i like him alot, apart from his one fault, i don't want to just cut him out of my life, and it's not as if i dont make myself clear about such issues. I do tell him that yes he's entitled to his opinion, but that he should shut up about it cause not everyone agrees with it (me for one).



Well, if it works for you.


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## Ruffie (Dec 12, 2008)

But Joe I am simply curious. Are you open about your preference for fat women with this friend? And if so how does he react? Because is you are an open FA at some point your girlfriends might come in contact with this friend and will know his feelings about their excess weight. What happens then? You are then torn between your girlfriend and friends feelings?
Just something to consider.


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## Ichida (Dec 12, 2008)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> If somebody says "You know, you could be so pretty if you lost some weight" respond with "You could be so pretty if you had radical plastic surgery."
> 
> Thankfully I have had few knowingly anti-fat friends.




**recovers for a coughing fit** oh my gosh can I steal that? That is too perfect....


When an old friend went anti fat I turned to him and said "If they are a freak for being fat, what does that make me for liking it?". Yeah. I dropped him so fast his skinny ass didn't even have time to bounce.


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## JoeFA (Dec 12, 2008)

Ruffie said:


> But Joe I am simply curious. Are you open about your preference for fat women with this friend? And if so how does he react? Because is you are an open FA at some point your girlfriends might come in contact with this friend and will know his feelings about their excess weight. What happens then? You are then torn between your girlfriend and friends feelings?
> Just something to consider.



I don't have a girlfriend.........right now, but yeah i do worry about when i get a girlfriend who is on the large side if they ever meet, which is likely because he's always interested when i get a new girlfriend, me likewise with him, so it is a worry. But i hope if that does happen he'll be nice enough to appreciate her for who she is. It's just a very bad habit he has, which might even go away if he gets to know a few fat women as well as i know some.


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## Ichida (Dec 12, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> I don't have a girlfriend.........right now, but yeah i do worry about when i get a girlfriend who is on the large side if they ever meet, which is likely because he's always interested when i get a new girlfriend, me likewise with him, so it is a worry. But i hope if that does happen he'll be nice enough to appreciate her for who she is. It's just a very bad habit he has, which might even go away if he gets to know a few fat women as well as i know some.



If he can't see people for who they are now why would he suddenly switch just because you are dating her? You should be preparing him now, if that is the case, telling him that you don't want to hear comments like that, even if he feels them. It isn't a bad habit - it shows an intolerance. A bad habit is wiping your nose on the back of your hand, hateful comments are just mean. If you find that special someone and he says something insensitive or cruel it will reflect badly on YOU in her eyes - how can she trust that you truely love her rolls if you are friends with a fat hater? Just keep that in mind.


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## JoeFA (Dec 12, 2008)

Ichida said:


> If you find that special someone and he says something insensitive or cruel it will reflect badly on YOU in her eyes - how can she trust that you truely love her rolls if you are friends with a fat hater? Just keep that in mind.



Obviously you've never been out with someone like me, though i don't know why you would have seeing as i don't know you at all and you may be a man. Anywho, yeah i get what your saying but because we're such great friends i don't want to jeopardise that friendship just because there is one blip about his personality and views, although it is quite a troubling one, i can live with it if he's considerate if i end up going out with a BBW/SSBBW. I know i'd do the same if he was going out with someone i didn't like that much, so i guess i can only hope he will do the same, and if he doesn't well then i'll talk to him. But you must understand that we are really good friends and when put in a situation where a friend of such high importance to you express a strong dislike for something you are actually quite partial to, in this case large women, then you have to try and put this into context with his pros, not just looking at one bad thing and blowing it totally out of proportion. Maybe you think different. Well, that is what opinion is about. Not everyone is going to agree on everything. YOU just keep that in mind.


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## TraciJo67 (Dec 12, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> Obviously you've never been out with someone like me, though i don't know why you would have seeing as i don't know you at all and you may be a man. Anywho, yeah i get what your saying but because we're such great friends i don't want to jeopardise that friendship just because there is one blip about his personality and views, although it is quite a troubling one, i can live with it if he's considerate if i end up going out with a BBW/SSBBW. I know i'd do the same if he was going out with someone i didn't like that much, so i guess i can only hope he will do the same, and if he doesn't well then i'll talk to him. But you must understand that we are really good friends and when put in a situation where a friend of such high importance to you express a strong dislike for something you are actually quite partial to, in this case large women, then you have to try and put this into context with his pros, not just looking at one bad thing and blowing it totally out of proportion. Maybe you think different. Well, that is what opinion is about. Not everyone is going to agree on everything. YOU just keep that in mind.



You have to do what's right for you. 

I think that people have been expressing that this isn't just an annoying habit or a personality glitch on his part. It's a major character flaw. The man isn't even considerate enough to keep his views *quiet* (you mentioned that he sometimes says things within earshot of his intended victim). And the "something" that you are partial to isn't an object. We're not discussing Nintendo vs. Wii or a Ford vs. Chevy. I honestly don't see how you can fail to understand that. 

I don't see how you can reconcile your preference for shapely women, and your involvement at a place like Dims, with such a glaringly obnoxious characteristic in your friend. He's not going to like any of your prospective dating choices because he's a fat-phobic bigot. That's quite an obstacle for you to overlook, far less ask any woman that you're dating to tolerate.


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## JoeFA (Dec 12, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> You have to do what's right for you.
> 
> I think that people have been expressing that this isn't just an annoying habit or a personality glitch on his part. It's a major character flaw. The man isn't even considerate enough to keep his views *quiet* (you mentioned that he sometimes says things within earshot of his intended victim). And the "something" that you are partial to isn't an object. We're not discussing Nintendo vs. Wii or a Ford vs. Chevy. I honestly don't see how you can fail to understand that.
> 
> I don't see how you can reconcile your preference for shapely women, and your involvement at a place like Dims, with such a glaringly obnoxious characteristic in your friend. He's not going to like any of your prospective dating choices because he's a fat-phobic bigot. That's quite an obstacle for you to overlook, far less ask any woman that you're dating to tolerate.



I don't just date fat girls, it's just i prefer them to thinner girls. But if i like a thinner girl enough, i'll go out with her, i'm not fixated with physique, it's just a preference. And you may call him a bigoted whatever you said, but thats just one aspect of him, and one i know is wrong and immorale, but you have to understand he's a really good friend of mine, something i'm pretty sure i've stressed quite a few times now, and i can't just stop being friends with him on that basis, also seeing as i've known him since secondary school (junior high i think for you americans, correct me if i'm wrong).

And i don't view women as objects, like you said i see this whole thing as a comparison between such things as Nintendo DS and Wii consoles or Ford vs Chevvy. To be honest, thats just offensive and ill founded. I said i feel partial to women of larger sizes not out of any views about women merely being objects, nothing more, i said that because I AM PARTIAL, meaning i like or prefer, LARGER WOMEN. To be honest, I can't see how YOU fail to understand that.


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## TraciJo67 (Dec 12, 2008)




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## BigBeautifulRed (Dec 17, 2008)

I disagree this thread has become a deep drawn out observation of society and how we really are our own.


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## bunzarella (Dec 17, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> To meet men of course.



Funny, but definitely not true. I came here originally because a friend of mine is a member and showed it to me. For a short while I was really intrigued by this site. How fat people came together and all that. I got over my intrigue. Sure, I think its great that you guys all find support in each other and all that. You find people with similar stories and similar pasts who can help you through those hard days or share a good 1000 calorie cookie recipe. 

Now I come back every once in awhile when I wanna see whats going on. The intrigue hits me occasionally. 

Sorry if you think its pathetic that I don't have fat friends. Sorry if you think its pathetic that I am most of my friends' only fat friend. Sorry if you think my life is pathetic...sometimes it works both ways....I'm happy with the way I am..have been before being introduced to dimensions. My being fat ISN'T what drives my life. If you don't like the way I live...why bash it? Not once have I bashed your ways of life...but it seems as though if you don't worship fat people and gaining weight and wanting to remain fat, you aren't welcome to have an opinion here. If that is the case, I shall leave and not bother your little bubble world anymore.


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## JoeFA (Dec 17, 2008)

bunzarella said:


> My being fat ISN'T what drives my life. If you don't like the way I live...why bash it?



In her defense, alot of people like to bash....

And if you don't know what i mean, i mean, quick check your kids aren't looking, M A S T U R B A T E....


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## bunzarella (Dec 17, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> In her defense, alot of people like to bash....
> 
> And if you don't know what i mean, i mean, quick check your kids aren't looking, M A S T U R B A T E....



Wow...1. I have NO kids...2. TOTALLY out of context...


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## TraciJo67 (Dec 17, 2008)

bunzarella said:


> Sorry if you think its pathetic that I don't have fat friends. Sorry if you think its pathetic that I am most of my friends' only fat friend. Sorry if you think my life is pathetic...sometimes it works both ways....I'm happy with the way I am..have been before being introduced to dimensions. My being fat ISN'T what drives my life. If you don't like the way I live...why bash it? Not once have I bashed your ways of life...but it seems as though if you don't worship fat people and gaining weight and wanting to remain fat, you aren't welcome to have an opinion here. If that is the case, I shall leave and not bother your little bubble world anymore.



I don't think that it's pathetic that you don't have fat friends.

I don't think that your life is pathetic.

I don't think that you need to worship fat people/feeders/feedees in order to belong at Dims.

You are welcome to your opinion.

What I do think is pathetic is that you are the only fat friend to a group of people whom you say hate other fat people simply because they are fat. That doesn't mean that I think *you* are pathetic. I just wonder why you are OK with people who think it's perfectly acceptable to denigrade others. 

You don't owe me an explanation, nor anyone else. You did, however, comment. This is a message board. Unless you contain your remarks to very benign statements, you are never going to get full agreement from others. We're all free to disagree. It's how a message board works.

You are extrapolating a whole lot of intent on the part of other people here, bunzarella. Nobody is implying what you've highlighted above. Not even close.


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## JoeFA (Dec 17, 2008)

bunzarella said:


> Wow...1. I have NO kids...2. TOTALLY out of context...



I felt it needed saying......you don't pass up an oppurtunity like that and not regret it....


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## bunzarella (Dec 17, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> I don't think that it's pathetic that you don't have fat friends.
> 
> I don't think that your life is pathetic.
> 
> ...



Well I appreciate the welcome...

I hang out with who I hang out with because they are my friends. We make fun of everyone and everything. That's how we are. Do they really actually HATE fat people? Who knows? Do they make fun of fat people? Definitely. Do I? Yes. Do I make fun of Jews? Yep! I am a Jew. Do I make fun of midgets? Sure. I am not a midget. What I am saying is...we don't discriminate who we make fun of. And I think they may feel the same way I do about the majority of fat people.....Im from a small town...most of the fat people in my town (excluding me) are lame, boring, self-loathing people. THAT is probably why they hate fat people and accept me...because though i can be lame and boring (sometimes), I don't loath myself. Being fat is just something I am. Someday I may be skinny...probably not, but it could happen. It's not WHO I am and I don't make it WHO I am. I don't see a fat person when I look in the mirror. Maybe that's a psychological problem I need to fix, but hell, I'm content with it, so why change?


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## JoeFA (Dec 17, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> I just wonder why you are OK with people who think it's perfectly acceptable to denigrade others.



People are allowed their own opinions, however mad, crazy or hurtful, i think everyone here BUT you has stressed that. You probably have, but you don't seem to be following that idea too closely.

And anyway, society has made people like the one bunzarella is friends with, or at least a lot of the people in society have, into fat-hating, insecure people. If they feel insecure about themselves, they blame it on the fat ones. It's peer pressure, built up by certain peoples dislike of persons fatter than themselevs, for whatever reason, reasons which i have no idea about. But i know that we are certainly not encouraged to be fat, so young children, when their most vulnerable and suceptible to ideas, perhaps unfair and even malicious ones, are told, either by their parents or informative advertising, that to be fat is wrong, pretty much. So, in order to be what society tells them to be, in terms of a "healthy" physique, they try to stay as thin as possible, making fun of those fatter than themselves, making the fatter ones hate themselves, just because they are fat. It's a malicious circle. Well more like a chain, cause it all ends with everyone heaping abuse on fat people.

I am saying it's wrong, definitely, but am also saying that those people who are perhaps more insulting towards larger people than themselves have been told, and their relatives before them, to be thin, and not to be fat. Anything but that, it seems, is good, making fat people the victim to this rediculous fasade which is just so infuriatingly stupid. Again, something which is caused by generations of hate/dislike of fat people or a desire to be thin, not the people who currently insult fat people. They have been told to want to be thin, not fat, since they were infants. Can't blame them.


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## goodthings (Dec 17, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> I don't have a girlfriend.........right now, but yeah i do worry about when i get a girlfriend who is on the large side if they ever meet, which is likely because he's always interested when i get a new girlfriend, me likewise with him, so it is a worry. But i hope if that does happen he'll be nice enough to appreciate her for who she is. It's just a very bad habit he has, which might even go away if he gets to know a few fat women as well as i know some.



hating anyone for who ever they may be is NOT A HABIT! Brushing your teeth after you floss is a habit. :doh:


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## goodthings (Dec 17, 2008)

Ichida said:


> If he can't see people for who they are now why would he suddenly switch just because you are dating her? You should be preparing him now, if that is the case, telling him that you don't want to hear comments like that, even if he feels them. It isn't a bad habit - it shows an intolerance. A bad habit is wiping your nose on the back of your hand, hateful comments are just mean. If you find that special someone and he says something insensitive or cruel it will reflect badly on YOU in her eyes - how can she trust that you truely love her rolls if you are friends with a fat hater? Just keep that in mind.



hells ya! Good point, I definately do not want to date a man who has fat hating friends and is ok with it.


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## goodthings (Dec 17, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> Obviously you've never been out with someone like me, though i don't know why you would have seeing as i don't know you at all and you may be a man. Anywho, yeah i get what your saying but because we're such great friends i don't want to jeopardise that friendship just because there is one blip about his personality and views, although it is quite a troubling one, i can live with it if he's considerate if i end up going out with a BBW/SSBBW. I know i'd do the same if he was going out with someone i didn't like that much, so i guess i can only hope he will do the same, and if he doesn't well then i'll talk to him. But you must understand that we are really good friends and when put in a situation where a friend of such high importance to you express a strong dislike for something you are actually quite partial to, in this case large women, then you have to try and put this into context with his pros, not just looking at one bad thing and blowing it totally out of proportion. Maybe you think different. Well, that is what opinion is about. Not everyone is going to agree on everything. YOU just keep that in mind.



If you are such good friends, should he not respect you enough to refrain from mentioning his hate of fatties and should you not be able to be honest with him about your attraction?


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## gangstadawg (Dec 17, 2008)

goodthings said:


> If you are such good friends, should he not respect you enough to refrain from mentioning his hate of fatties and should you not be able to be honest with him about your attraction?


i agree with this statment.


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## JoeFA (Dec 18, 2008)

goodthings said:


> If you are such good friends, should he not respect you enough to refrain from mentioning his hate of fatties and should you not be able to be honest with him about your attraction?



Or should i not respect him for being who he is, people can find change difficult, WHATEVER the reason.

And it is a habit, one that has been honed into us by an anti-fat society over the last few decades or so, meaning that people don't view it as an issue, as they're being told being fat is wrong, so assume it is ok to taunt fat people, seeing as they've been told to be the opposite of that, thin, is good and being fat is bad. You get what i'm saying. And what i'm saying you must understand i think is wrong, but you have got to cut these people some slack, which is what i do with my friend. OK!?


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## SamanthaNY (Dec 18, 2008)

When we accept bad, hateful behavior - just to "cut these people some slack", we surround ourselves with negativity instead of fighting it, and soon it becomes a couple of more decades of anti-fat society. When we accept and participate in derision of the very people we are, or those we are attracted to, then we are at worst a traitor to our own heart, and at best duplicitous in our nature. 

You can't hold up the banner of acceptance or appreciation and cut haters some slack. You either be true to yourself and walk the walk, or... don't. 

Choose what you wish - but when you stand for bad behavior, just don't pretend for one second that you're not contributing to the problem. You ARE the problem.


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## LillyBBBW (Dec 18, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> Or should i not respect him for being who he is, people can find change difficult, WHATEVER the reason.
> 
> And it is a habit, one that has been honed into us by an anti-fat society over the last few decades or so, meaning that people don't view it as an issue, as they're being told being fat is wrong, so assume it is ok to taunt fat people, seeing as they've been told to be the opposite of that, thin, is good and being fat is bad. You get what i'm saying. And what i'm saying you must understand i think is wrong, but you have got to cut these people some slack, which is what i do with my friend. OK!?



Man I don't care if he's Queen Elizabeth. People who say stuff about gooks, fags, liberals and fat people are not worthy of my respect. It's about having some standards. I could see if this were a peg legged uncle that one has to put up with but to just sit there grinning like a scarecrow while a good friend makes offensive comments about people you claim to like speaks volumes about you whether you believe so or not. It says you halfway believe most of the shit he says in the first place. You wouldn't hang around him if he made constant racial slurs or talked of kicking puppies or something. Gawd, I'm not even sure if you HAVE any boundaries -- he could call your mother a whore and you'd still extol his vast virtues.


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## TraciJo67 (Dec 18, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> Or should i not respect him for being who he is, people can find change difficult, WHATEVER the reason.
> 
> And it is a habit, one that has been honed into us by an anti-fat society over the last few decades or so, meaning that people don't view it as an issue, as they're being told being fat is wrong, so assume it is ok to taunt fat people, seeing as they've been told to be the opposite of that, thin, is good and being fat is bad. You get what i'm saying. And what i'm saying you must understand i think is wrong, but you have got to cut these people some slack, which is what i do with my friend. OK!?




I don't respect bigots. Period. I don't cut them slack. I don't try to understand why they feel the way that they do. I leave that for their psychiatrists, and for the unfortunate people that MUST deal with them (family, employers, etc). I certainly don't grant them the title of friend. And I don't get behind the idea that because society "says" it's OK to make fun of someone who differs from the norm that we should empathize with their bigotry. It's NOT OK. We learn from a very young age that it's wrong to treat others badly (or at least, we SHOULD be learning that basic lesson about, among other things, good manners). 

I find it amusing that you're trying to lump me in with your friend by suggesting that I'm being "mean" to you. Joe, you lost me at "my friend makes fun of fat people, sometimes within their earshot, and I'm fine with that." I don't respect your opinion, AT ALL, and I sleep just fine at night, knowing that I've shared that with you, in exactly the terms that I have. People earn my respect. That said, they don't automatically get excluded from that possibility simply because of *what* they are (fat, disabled, black/brown/yellow/green, gay, straight, etc). 

And the bottom line, whether you believe it or not, is that I'm not being intentionally "mean" to you, or to bunzarella. I'm trying to point out, in rather straightforward terms (in other words, lacking any kind of ambiguity at all) that your "friends" aren't worthy of that title. And you do yourself a serious disservice by suggesting that we should try to understand anything at all about someone who would be intentionally cruel to fat people ... just because they are fat. I find myself wondering, what goes wrong in society, when people think that this is understandable behavior?!?! I know that you aren't openly agreeing with your friend ... but the fact that you extend ANY kind of empathy AT ALL to his behavior means that you are granting tacit approval, nonetheless. Remaining quiet, explaining it away, minimizing it, excusing it in any way at all = complicity.


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## JoeFA (Dec 18, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> Man I don't care if he's Queen Elizabeth. People who say stuff about gooks, fags, liberals and fat people are not worthy of my respect. It's about having some standards. I could see if this were a peg legged uncle that one has to put up with but to just sit there grinning like a scarecrow while a good friend makes offensive comments about people you claim to like speaks volumes about you whether you believe so or not. It says you halfway believe most of the shit he says in the first place. You wouldn't hang around him if he made constant racial slurs or talked of kicking puppies or something. Gawd, I'm not even sure if you HAVE any boundaries -- he could call your mother a whore and you'd still extol his vast virtues.



I wouldn't go far as letting him call my mother a whore, and just because he sometimes insults fat people doesn't mean he's a racist or an animal abuser....as you seem to have suggested, wrongly. He's not totally immorale, just on one front. If he were racist and abusive towards animals, then yes i would not tolerate him. But it's just one thing, one thing which i try and deter him from doing, and he does listen. Though it's HARD to change people's OPINIONS, especially an opinion which has been forced onto him since he was a child, that people who are fat are bad, people who are thin are good. I can't stress that point enough, and all of you people seem to be ignoring that fact, a fact which is that society, or the children's parents (who may in turn have been told the same by their own parents, or society, and so on), are telling young children that being fat is very bad, meaning they have a negative feeling towards fat people. That's all there is too it, unless of course a person irrationally hates fat people or has had a bad experience with a fat person which might trigger a hate of large people.

That's what i believe, and my friend does not just hate fat people irrationally, he's been told that fat people are bad when he was younger, as pretty much everyone who is well informed about current affairs is, triggering a negative opinion of fat people. It's a simple as that, but you all seem to think, though i have said several times this is not true, SEVERAL TIMES, that people like him are just bigoted idiots, who are also racist and abusive towards everything, even tiny, cute little puppies. THESE THINGS DO NOT GO HAND IN HAND. Please understand that, i can't be bothered to say it again.


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## cinnamitch (Dec 18, 2008)

Opinions?
It was Hitlers opinion that the only good Jew was a dead Jew
It was the KKK's opinion that the African Americans needed to "learn their place"
It was a long held opinion that women didnt need schooling because they were only going to be wives and mothers after all

See that is one bad thing with opinions, too many times they turn into actions because no one bothered to stand up and say that the original opinion was wrong. 

Dude, i am here to tell you your friends opinion is WRONG and your opinion that its ok because he is your friend is even worse. It is people like you who enable people like him to hurt me emotionally by calling me names or talking about me. How dare you profess to be attracted to and admire large ladies when you support someone who would find joy out of attacking her for her size. If that is what you consider FA, then someone needs to hand you the instruction manual for FA cause son , you just aint got it figured out


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## BothGunsBlazing (Dec 18, 2008)

Okay, so, if he were racist or abusive towards animals, you wouldn't tolerate him? 

What is the difference between a child being brought up to hate people of a different race/religion and one who is taught to hate fat people?

This is my biggest problem with size acceptance and why it is seemingly always going to be constantly marginalized. It's okay to hate fat people. It's completely rational. I mean, after all, being fat IS a personal choice and unlike the color of ones skin, you can choose to just lose weight and there ya go, no more life issues! 

Putting up with this shit is like throwing an anchor out and saying, yeah, I'm OK with intolerance. Yep, you can pick and choose whom you hang out with, but you may want to throw in your FA card, because no respectable FA would let that continue to go on and do nothing about it.

Actually, scratch FA from that last bit and replace it with person.


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## cinnamitch (Dec 18, 2008)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Okay, so, if he were racist or abusive towards animals, you wouldn't tolerate him?
> 
> What is the difference between a child being brought up to hate people of a different race/religion and one who is taught to hate fat people?
> 
> ...



Yep Yep Yep


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## LillyBBBW (Dec 18, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> I wouldn't go far as letting him call my mother a whore, and just because he sometimes insults fat people doesn't mean he's a racist or an animal abuser....as you seem to have suggested, wrongly. He's not totally immorale, just on one front. If he were racist and abusive towards animals, then yes i would not tolerate him. But it's just one thing, one thing which i try and deter him from doing, and he does listen. Though it's HARD to change people's OPINIONS, especially an opinion which has been forced onto him since he was a child, that people who are fat are bad, people who are thin are good. I can't stress that point enough, and all of you people seem to be ignoring that fact, a fact which is that society, or the children's parents (who may in turn have been told the same by their own parents, or society, and so on), are telling young children that being fat is very bad, meaning they have a negative feeling towards fat people. That's all there is too it, unless of course a person irrationally hates fat people or has had a bad experience with a fat person which might trigger a hate of large people.
> 
> That's what i believe, and my friend does not just hate fat people irrationally, he's been told that fat people are bad when he was younger, as pretty much everyone who is well informed about current affairs is, triggering a negative opinion of fat people. It's a simple as that, but you all seem to think, though i have said several times this is not true, SEVERAL TIMES, that people like him are just bigoted idiots, who are also racist and abusive towards everything, even tiny, cute little puppies. THESE THINGS DO NOT GO HAND IN HAND. Please understand that, i can't be bothered to say it again.



No we hear you, it's just that we're not buying what you're selling. If your freind pushes negative stereotypes about gays or people of a different race because he's been told all his life to do so then this is wrong, but negative stereotypes about fat people are good clean fun and should not be disturbed. Afterall, if we'd all just eat more salads and take the stairs more often. What the hell are you doing here man? Why would you even post in this thread?


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## JoeFA (Dec 18, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> No we hear you, it's just that we're not buying what you're selling. If your freind pushes negative stereotypes about gays or people of a different race because he's been told all his life to do so then this is wrong, but negative stereotypes about fat people are good clean fun and should not be disturbed. Afterall, if we'd all just eat more salads and take the stairs more often. What the hell are you doing here man? Why would you even post in this thread?



It's a thread about anti-fat friends, i have one to a certain extent.

I'm so sorry for posting in the wrong thread, what must i have been thinking when i thought it would be good to contribute my own experiences with such a friend, seeing as that would be totally irrelevant to a thread entitled "Anti-Fat Friends". 



If you haven't guessed yet, that was sarcasm. It's a little harder to write it than say it.


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## TraciJo67 (Dec 18, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> It's a thread about anti-fat friends, i have one to a certain extent.
> 
> I'm so sorry for posting in the wrong thread, what must i have been thinking when i thought it would be good to contribute my own experiences with such a friend, seeing as that would be totally irrelevant to a thread entitled "Anti-Fat Friends".
> 
> ...



What part of *"YOU ARE POSTING ON A MESSAGE BOARD IN WHICH MANY OF US HAVE PERSONALLY EXPERIENCED HATEFUL REMARKS AND OVERT BIAS AND YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO EXCUSE THAT BEHAVIOR ON THE PART OF YOUR FRIEND"* haven't you understood, Joe?


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## LillyBBBW (Dec 18, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> It's a thread about anti-fat friends, i have one to a certain extent.
> 
> I'm so sorry for posting in the wrong thread, what must i have been thinking when i thought it would be good to contribute my own experiences with such a friend, seeing as that would be totally irrelevant to a thread entitled "Anti-Fat Friends".
> 
> ...



It seemed clear to me that this was a thread to talk about how to cope with anti fat friends, not to crow about how your friends make fun of us and you think that's the way it should be.


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## BothGunsBlazing (Dec 18, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> haven't you understood, Joe?



Well, seeing as he IS british, I highly doubt it. 

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1022703&postcount=39

Just saying, it's a lost cause with THOSE people.


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## Blackjack (Dec 18, 2008)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Well, seeing as he IS british, I highly doubt it.
> 
> http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1022703&postcount=39
> 
> Just saying, it's a lost cause with THOSE people.



There's two kinds of people I can't stand.

People who are intolerant of other people's culture, and the Dutch.


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## BothGunsBlazing (Dec 18, 2008)

Blackjack said:


> There's two kinds of people I can't stand.
> 
> People who are intolerant of other people's culture, and the Dutch.



Also - Carnies. Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands.


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## Blackjack (Dec 18, 2008)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Also - Carnies. Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands.



And Pikeys.

I fuckin' hate Pikeys.


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## JoeFA (Dec 18, 2008)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Well, seeing as he IS british, I highly doubt it.
> 
> http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1022703&postcount=39
> 
> Just saying, it's a lost cause with THOSE people.



Generalize much?


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## Blackjack (Dec 18, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> Generalize much?


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## JoeFA (Dec 18, 2008)

Blackjack said:


>



No, i got it. It was generalisation, implying that every single British person is an idiot. Now if that's not generalisation, what have you been banging on about when i generalized about country music. Although, that was a fair, if not slightly irrelavant point i put forward.

You may think we're stupid, but your not doing much to convince me that Americans are any different to that.


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## cinnamitch (Dec 18, 2008)

No, he is right you totally missed the point.:doh:


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## JoeFA (Dec 18, 2008)

cinnamitch said:


> No, he is right you totally missed the point.:doh:



Ok then. Why, was it some ultra subtle point, hidden beneath the blatant obviousness that that guy was saying that cause i was british, i wouldn't understand. It's pretty well hidden, or non-existent. And if pressured for my opinion on it, i would say it IS what i said it was, he's generalising. Though i would very much like to hear what he is "actually" talking about, that anti-british, slightly irrational man.


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## elle camino (Dec 18, 2008)

hahahahah no, dude, it was blatantly obvious.


i save these for special occasions, and this is one: lol.


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## cinnamitch (Dec 18, 2008)

Aw but you should just "cut him some slack" you know kinda like you do with your fat hating friend. Makes ya go hmm dont it?


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## JoeFA (Dec 18, 2008)

cinnamitch said:


> Aw but you should just "cut him some slack" you know kinda like you do with your fat hating friend. Makes ya go hmm dont it?



Well i don't like him, so i won't. And i'm only going hmmm cause i have no idea what this other meaning to what he said, that i supposedly missed, is, though you all seem to.....what is it!?!! Hmmm.....


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## cinnamitch (Dec 18, 2008)

So let me get this straight, it is ok for your friend to insult fat people and you cut him slack , but not ok for someone to say something about you being british. Oh pray tell grasshopper, what the hell is the difference?


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## Mini (Dec 18, 2008)

Joe, I gotta level with ya': Your friend is stupid, and you are stupid to post about him here. It's that simple.

Y'see, here's the awesome thing about freedom of speech and expression: It's an excellent vetting process. You can tell a lot about someone by how they use that right, be it to shit on others or whatnot. Your friend is an ass, and letting him get away with his shit says a lot about you, too. Why are you here?


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## Carrie (Dec 18, 2008)

Joe, he was pointing out the ridiculousness of your statement about everyone in the south owning cattle and a gun by making a similar sweeping generalization about British people. He doesn't feel that way about British people (as our Brits here who have met him can attest); he was just trying to illustrate a point. 

As for the rest of it, just imagine for a sec that your dating preference is for black women instead of fat women. You think they're sexy, you've known some in your life you really liked and cared for, and they just generally ring your bell. You're walking along with your friend, you both see a pretty black woman and he yells a racial epithet at her. Is that completely okay with you? Would you just let it go? If the answer is yes, then, well, yikes. If the answer is no, then ask yourself why it's okay for him to be that with with fatties around you, but not with black women (or Arabs, or French girls, or fill-in-the-blank)? How is it different? Hate is hate, and staying silent in the face of it allows it to continue. That's all people are trying to say.


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## JoeFA (Dec 18, 2008)

Carrie said:


> Joe, he was pointing out the ridiculousness of your statement about everyone in the south owning cattle and a gun by making a similar sweeping generalization about British people. He doesn't feel that way about British people (as our Brits here who have met him can attest); he was just trying to illustrate a point.
> 
> As for the rest of it, just imagine for a sec that your dating preference is for black women instead of fat women. You think they're sexy, you've known some in your life you really liked and cared for, and they just generally ring your bell. You're walking along with your friend, you both see a pretty black woman and he yells a racial epithet at her. Is that completely okay with you? Would you just let it go? If the answer is yes, then, well, yikes. If the answer is no, then ask yourself why it's okay for him to be that with with fatties around you, but not with black women (or Arabs, or French girls, or fill-in-the-blank)? How is it different? Hate is hate, and staying silent in the face of it allows it to continue. That's all people are trying to say.



Well great, they're allowed to say it, but i'm also saying something, WHICH NO-ONE HAS NOTICED OR HAS CHOSEN NOT TOO.

Basically, i'm saying people have been told fat is bad, so they pick on fat people, it makes them feel superior. It's wrong, but has been honed into these people, like my friend, for as long as they can remember.

Now can any of you say you have actually, this is directed at FAs, stood up for a fat person who is being criticised, or have chosen not to take part in this. Say in school, did you stand up for the fat kid and tell his or her's verbal abuser to back off? Or did you join in? Or did you just sit there and watch?

I know thats only slightly relevant, but i'm trying to put into context how easy it can be to insult others, seemingly inferior to yourselves, as we are often led to believe by society. It's wrong yes, as well as racism and all these other things being thrown around here, but it is very easy to start becoming a habit, especially when in agroup of people who feel the same. Now i don't do this, but my friend does. I've talked to him, he's starting to stop it. But it's a habit, and YES IT IS, though many of you disagree.

That's all i'm trying to say, in a nutshell.


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## cinnamitch (Dec 18, 2008)

A habit? If my child made a habit of calling people names i would have spanked him in front of the person he insulted, If a friend of mine ever insulted someone based on some predjudiced opinion he had "honed" into them, i would probably turn around and slap them so hard they would be picking up their teeth on the next block. For you to continue to see this as something that is ok utterly amazes me for the simple fact that there is no way in one breath you can call yourself a FA and turn around and support behavior so insulting to the very women you profess to be attracted to. . Go on and keep trying to justify what you are saying cause i am really enjoying the hole you are digging .


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## Carrie (Dec 18, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> Well great, they're allowed to say it, but i'm also saying something, WHICH NO-ONE HAS NOTICED OR HAS CHOSEN NOT TOO.
> 
> Basically, i'm saying people have been told fat is bad, so they pick on fat people, it makes them feel superior. It's wrong, but has been honed into these people, like my friend, for as long as they can remember.
> 
> ...


I don't think anyone here is contradicting that your friend was brought up in a culture that encourages hatred of fat people - I mean, hello, most of us have lived it, you don't have to convince us it exists. And you're right, I think making jackass comments about people based on their appearance can become habitual, and is certainly fed by peer pressure - that still doesn't make it okay. The issue at hand was more of why you seemed essentially okay with his behavior, and why you would just stand by quietly while he says stupid things about fat people. At any rate, I'm really glad to hear you've talked to him (since this thread started, maybe?) and he's trying to work on his behavior, that's great. Just please do the fat girls of the world a favor and don't ever allow him to talk to a fat girlfriend of yours with anything less than the respect she deserves.


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## elle camino (Dec 18, 2008)

actually just do the fat girls of the world a favor and develop another preference.


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## Donna (Dec 18, 2008)

JoeFA, I don't say this to be mean, so please take it in the spirit it is meant. If you are going to continue to stand by quietly while your friend makes negative comments about fat people, and then try to justify that behavior to fat people by stating it is a habit, then please, please, please do not date a fat woman. Do not subject someone purposefully to that kind of behavior.

ETA: Carrie and Elle beat me to it while I took too long typing my response.


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## JoeFA (Dec 18, 2008)

Donna said:


> JoeFA, I don't say this to be mean, so please take it in the spirit it is meant. If you are going to continue to stand by quietly while your friend makes negative comments about fat people, and then try to justify that behavior to fat people by stating it is a habit, then please, please, please do not date a fat woman. Do not subject someone purposefully to that kind of behavior.
> 
> ETA: Carrie and Elle beat me to it while I took too long typing my response.



Well i have so, oops.


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## elle camino (Dec 18, 2008)

oops!

seriously between this thread and the BBW paintings one - you're a piece of work, joe.


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## Carrie (Dec 18, 2008)

I find myself suddenly in desperate need of a tack hammer. For myself.


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## elle camino (Dec 18, 2008)

carrie i just don't think you fat bastards understand that there are people out there who don't like fat people! get it through your stupid fat skulls so we can bone already! sheesh.


are you beguiled yet


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## Carrie (Dec 18, 2008)

dude I am SO beguiled. 

what r u wearing, wide load?


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## elle camino (Dec 18, 2008)

a spitproof poncho for when i finally meet your super cool friends, FA of my dreams.

_and that's it_.


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## Fascinita (Dec 18, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> Well great, they're allowed to say it, but i'm also saying something, WHICH NO-ONE HAS NOTICED OR HAS CHOSEN NOT TOO.
> 
> Basically, i'm saying people have been told fat is bad, so they pick on fat people, it makes them feel superior. It's wrong, but has been honed into these people, like my friend, for as long as they can remember.
> 
> ...



This website is for fat people and the people who like and support them, last time I checked. Why support and understanding for fat-bashing is being touted as a virtue here is beyond me. I would think this sentiment might find a better home elsewhere--for instance, among your fat-intolerant friends--not in a place full of fat people, like Dimensions. 

Oh, wait. Lots of fat people = probably lots of fat "chicks," too. I see.


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## SocialbFly (Dec 18, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> I don't have a girlfriend.........right now, but yeah i do worry about when i get a girlfriend who is on the large side if they ever meet, which is likely because he's always interested when i get a new girlfriend, me likewise with him, so it is a worry. But i hope if that does happen he'll be nice enough to appreciate her for who she is. It's just a very bad habit he has, which might even go away if he gets to know a few fat women as well as i know some.



you know why i worry?? you would rather stay with a friend who knowingly puts you down for your taste, and what praytell, will he do to your supposed future fat girlfriend...and you, you will just simply let him?

great...you might be a great guy, but right there, you made a choice for me...you would never be my choice for that reason...for a boyfriend....just saying


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## Donna (Dec 18, 2008)

Joe, "oops"? Seriously, your response to my post is "oops"? 

What I find really troubling is you continue to try and justify this behavior and then when someone calls you on it you either a) become defensive or you resort to b) something inane (and yes, "oops" is an inane response IMHO.) I am trying very hard not to read between the lines of what you are saying, but it's pretty hard not to when you say things like:



> ...but i'm trying to put into context how easy it can be to insult others, _seemingly inferior to yourselves_, as we are often led to believe by society.



Why in the world would you say that unless you yourself feel that fat people are somehow inferior? How long have you been coming here to Dimensions and you are not grasping the concept that perhaps attempting to justify a negative opinion of fat people is probably a bad idea? You call yourself an FA, but you sure aren't acting like one. At least none of the FAs I know.


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## tonynyc (Dec 18, 2008)

Tsk Tsk JoeFa you blew it and could have had many adoring BBWs just by saying 'Hello' with your English accent... ;but, couldn't stop at "hello"

By the way do support and continue hanging out with your "buddies", "chums" ,"comrades" , "acquaintences" sounds like a path to true happiness


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## SocialbFly (Dec 18, 2008)

Carrie said:


> I don't think anyone here is contradicting that your friend was brought up in a culture that encourages hatred of fat people - I mean, hello, most of us have lived it, you don't have to convince us it exists. And you're right, I think making jackass comments about people based on their appearance can become habitual, and is certainly fed by peer pressure - that still doesn't make it okay. The issue at hand was more of why you seemed essentially okay with his behavior, and why you would just stand by quietly while he says stupid things about fat people. At any rate, I'm really glad to hear you've talked to him (since this thread started, maybe?) and he's trying to work on his behavior, that's great. Just please do the fat girls of the world a favor and don't ever allow him to talk to a fat girlfriend of yours with anything less than the respect she deserves.




you said it so much better than me, thank you Carrie, i tried to rep you but it said i have to try to later, rep bastiches


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## SamanthaNY (Dec 18, 2008)

What is it Wrestlingguy says about changing FAs? 

Yeah. That'd be about Joe.


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## Blackjack (Dec 18, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> Now can any of you say you have actually, this is directed at FAs, stood up for a fat person who is being criticised, or have chosen not to take part in this.



I have.

I do it regularly, at work and with friends.

Ball's in your court now.

Apparently it's the only one over there.


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## LillyBBBW (Dec 18, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> Well great, they're allowed to say it, but i'm also saying something, WHICH NO-ONE HAS NOTICED OR HAS CHOSEN NOT TOO.
> 
> Basically, i'm saying people have been told fat is bad, so they pick on fat people, it makes them feel superior. It's wrong, but has been honed into these people, like my friend, for as long as they can remember.
> 
> ...



I haven't felt compelled to take a stand every time I hear some bigot making comments but I'm not hokey pokeying over there to be their friend either.


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## olwen (Dec 18, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> Or should i not respect him for being who he is, people can find change difficult, WHATEVER the reason.
> 
> And it is a habit, one that has been honed into us by an anti-fat society over the last few decades or so, meaning that people don't view it as an issue, as they're being told being fat is wrong, so assume it is ok to taunt fat people, seeing as they've been told to be the opposite of that, thin, is good and being fat is bad. You get what i'm saying. And what i'm saying you must understand i think is wrong, but you have got to cut these people some slack, which is what i do with my friend. OK!?



No, I don't agree with this. Give him an inch and he'll take a mile. It's like you're saying it's okay for him to be so mean because it's socially acceptable. Is that really what you are saying? 

What *would* you do if he were mean to a future fat girlfriend? If I was with a guy who had a friend like that it would bother me A LOT. I'd think he was lying to me about wanting to actually be with me. Then I'd resent him and his friend and myself for being with him. No, no, nothing about that sounds good at all. It would definitely be a red flag for me.

But I get it, he's your best mate, and his friendship means a lot to you. I do hope for your sake he would accept any future fat women you date.


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## JoeFA (Dec 19, 2008)

Donna said:


> Joe, "oops"? Seriously, your response to my post is "oops"?
> 
> What I find really troubling is you continue to try and justify this behavior and then when someone calls you on it you either a) become defensive or you resort to b) something inane (and yes, "oops" is an inane response IMHO.) I am trying very hard not to read between the lines of what you are saying, but it's pretty hard not to when you say things like:
> 
> ...



Well i was actually taking it from the perspective of people who DO insult fat people. Sorry for trying to express an opinion that is a bit different, but i guess Americans, and seeing as you've been generalizing and bad-mouthing Brits, i can do it too....., don't want to view these "bigots" as people, merely just harmful insults, not considering the thing i've said so many times, THESE PEOPLE HAVE HAD THE IDEA THAT FAT IS BAD FORCED ONTO FOR LIKE FOREVER, meaning since they were little.

Now you don't need to read between the lines to find out that was what i was saying, it is obvious. Though Americans don't seem to be good with obvious, as it seems when some guy in this thread said all british people were a lost cause, prefering to look for some hidden, non-existent yet convenient meaning to it, like say that i'm siding with these people who insult them. I'M NOT! I brought this up cause i said i have a friend who can be insulting to fat people, and that i was trying to stop him doing this. Jeez, Americans are a lost cause.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Dec 19, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> Well i was actually taking it from the perspective of people who DO insult fat people. Sorry for trying to express an opinion that is a bit different, but i guess Americans, and seeing as you've been generalizing and bad-mouthing Brits, i can do it too....., don't want to view these "bigots" as people, merely just harmful insults, not considering the thing i've said so many times, THESE PEOPLE HAVE HAD THE IDEA THAT FAT IS BAD FORCED ONTO FOR LIKE FOREVER, meaning since they were little.
> 
> Now you don't need to read between the lines to find out that was what i was saying, it is obvious. Though Americans don't seem to be good with obvious, as it seems when some guy in this thread said all british people were a lost cause, prefering to look for some hidden, non-existent yet convenient meaning to it, like say that i'm siding with these people who insult them. I'M NOT! I brought this up cause i said i have a friend who can be insulting to fat people, and that i was trying to stop him doing this. Jeez, Americans are a lost cause.



No Joe. It is you who seems to miss the obvious. You can go ahead and proclaim piss to be like lemonade because your friends and neighbors say it is but we Americans are so distracted by the obvious that we don't have the patience or tolerance to kurtsy to this. Go ahead and wallow in shit if you like but don't accuse us of lacking in intelligence because we won't get down there and roll around with you. We don't have time to be sympathetic about some sidewalk Socrates who has probably lived a totally sheltered life trying to deride us about the evils of being fat. You can keep your brutish customs, we're not interested.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing (Dec 19, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> Well i was actually taking it from the perspective of people who DO insult fat people. Sorry for trying to express an opinion that is a bit different, but i guess Americans, and seeing as you've been generalizing and bad-mouthing Brits, i can do it too....., don't want to view these "bigots" as people, merely just harmful insults, not considering the thing i've said so many times, THESE PEOPLE HAVE HAD THE IDEA THAT FAT IS BAD FORCED ONTO FOR LIKE FOREVER, meaning since they were little.
> 
> Now you don't need to read between the lines to find out that was what i was saying, it is obvious. Though Americans don't seem to be good with obvious, as it seems when some guy in this thread said all british people were a lost cause, prefering to look for some hidden, non-existent yet convenient meaning to it, like say that i'm siding with these people who insult them. I'M NOT! I brought this up cause i said i have a friend who can be insulting to fat people, and that i was trying to stop him doing this. Jeez, Americans are a lost cause.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Dec 19, 2008)

BothGunsBlazing said:


>



This ... pretty much says it all. Moreso than would a neatly typed 10-page essay on just how utterly absurd this whole thread is. With bullet points and captions and footnotes, even.


----------



## Blackjack (Dec 19, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> I brought this up cause i said i have a friend who can be insulting to fat people, and that i was trying to stop him doing this.



You're doing a real great job of trying to stop him by sitting here and defending him.


----------



## JoeFA (Dec 19, 2008)

Blackjack said:


> You're doing a real great job of trying to stop him by sitting here and defending him.



Well i could walk away, but then all of you would be like "oh, the british person gives in, america wins....." and all that crap. And i've only spent like 10 minutes replying, combined. OH NO, 10 MINUTES!?!? NOW I CAN'T POSSIBLY TELL HIM TO STOP. I MAY AS WELL GIVE UP. Oh thanks BlackJack, for your always helpful words......


----------



## Blackjack (Dec 19, 2008)

By the way- check your fly, Joe. Your prejudice is showing again.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Dec 19, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> Well i could walk away, but then all of you would be like "oh, the british person gives in, america wins....." and all that crap. And i've only spent like 10 minutes replying, combined. OH NO, 10 MINUTES!?!? NOW I CAN'T POSSIBLY TELL HIM TO STOP. I MAY AS WELL GIVE UP. Oh thanks BlackJack, for your always helpful words......



Joe, you are either intentionally obtuse, or ... well. I vote that you are very well aware that nobody was *actually* making fun of Brits -- that it was, in fact, a (very well done) example of how generalizations are harmful. Irony. It's not just for Americans


----------



## mszwebs (Dec 19, 2008)

Blackjack said:


> By the way- check your fly, Joe. Your prejudice is showing again.



*points and giggles*


----------



## olwen (Dec 19, 2008)

Joe, I'm wondering...if this guy were not your friend would you still be defending him and his behavior?


----------



## LisaInNC (Dec 19, 2008)

Ok...what gives with the Americans against Brits thing? This is the first I have heard of it.


----------



## Paquito (Dec 19, 2008)

Totally late on this situation, but I found 2 cents, and I'm throwing them in.

Joe, in no way, shape, or form is your friend's opinion OK.
In no way, shape, or form is being apathetic to your friend's opinion OK.
Just shugging off his comments about fat people makes you just as guilty as him in the anti-fat ideal in the world. 
And really, since you're an FA, I'd think you'd want to do more for fat people than just jack off to them.

Oh, and since you apparently don't understand the concepts of irony, I'll make try to spell it out for you, since along with Americans (as you say), you don't understand the obvious.
You made a generalization that all people that like country music carry shotguns and have cattle and live in the south.
In response, someone made a generalization that Brits "just don't get it" so that you could see how bad overgeneralizations are and how wrong it is to use them.
Understand yet, Joe"FA"?


----------



## BothGunsBlazing (Dec 19, 2008)

LisaInNC said:


> Ok...what gives with the Americans against Brits thing? This is the first I have heard of it.



Ah, damn, I actually felt bad about making a Heath Ledger joke and him being in The Patriot and all, but yeah, I made a generalization about how all British people are stupid .. to point out how generalizations themselves are stupid and uh, it went horribly, yet hilarious wrong.

and yet, it won't let me remove the attached photo. what the 'ell?


----------



## Surlysomething (Dec 19, 2008)

AnnMarie said:


> Thread title, for my life, is an oxy-moron.
> 
> I won't allow it. If you know me, you know I'm fat and fine with it... deal or get lost. There's no way in hell anyone who's a friend of mine would make a fat-hating comment without finding out very damn quick how I feel and how that just impacted our friendship.





The first thing I thought of as well was "OXY-*MORON*" 

Strong emphasis on the moron part of course.


----------



## SamanthaNY (Dec 19, 2008)

I'm tired of the eggshells here. 

Joe - does your bigot-ass friend have absolutely *zero* self control? Does he spit on clergy? shit on the street? Does he wipe his ass with old ladies' purses? shake his dick at schoolchildren? Pop his zits over the salad bar? And when he does, will you defend that too? Will you stand idly by as he dry-humps your grandmother? Just how much assholic behavior will you accept and defend? (Do I need to state that these are rhetorical? Yeah, I figured.)

Ffs, No one expects _everyone _to have reasonable opinions. I do expect them (and so should YOU) to, at the very least, have some self control and learn when it is not appropriate to express their fuckedupedness. You keep singing this song of opinion and society's crap, as if that makes all of it okay - fine! Cling to that like you're choking a chicken. But... how about you and your friend grow the hell up and learn to have some damn manners and learn to self-censor. Hate whoever the hell you want. Don't pretend that you're any different than your punk ass friend (cuz you're not). Just grow a brain and learn to keep your assholishness to yourselves. 

Christ! Dicks >:|.


----------



## cinnamitch (Dec 19, 2008)

I have a feeling he will be doing a lot of chicken choking if he stays around here.


----------



## No-No-Badkitty (Dec 19, 2008)

LisaInNC said:


> Ok...what gives with the Americans against Brits thing? This is the first I have heard of it.




Me too...so does that mean we have to go back to the south vs north thing too???
If so..I call dibs on the grits.


----------



## Red (Dec 19, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> No, i got it. It was generalisation, implying that every single British person is an idiot. Now if that's not generalisation, what have you been banging on about when i generalized about country music. Although, that was a fair, if not slightly irrelavant point i put forward.
> 
> You may think we're stupid, but your not doing much to convince me that Americans are any different to that.




Joe, Joe Joe Joe...*JOE!*


COME ON dude, you're letting the side down here, sort it out.


People are pissed (myself included) that you admit that you openly stand by and watch your mate berate fat folks and YOU say nothing to stop this happening. *Saying nothing is silent agreement*. This is wrong, very, very wrong. You AGREE with your friend that fatties should be shot-down, why is this Joe? Sounds like you have a lot to work out in that brain of yours.


How is your sexual preference ever going to be 'acceptable' when you, yourself cannot even show the balls to stand up for it.


*If 


you 


want 


to


ever
*

*get it on


with


a


gloriously


fat


and


fabulous



female.....
*


Get some *respect* for yourself, and others.






_*stomps foot in frustration!*_


----------



## Blackjack (Dec 19, 2008)

Red said:


> Joe, Joe Joe Joe...*JOE!*
> 
> COME ON dude, you're letting the side down here, sort it out.
> 
> ...



You damn American sympathizer, how *dare *you be so cruel to the plights of the bigoted!


----------



## JoeFA (Dec 19, 2008)

Ok well, i guess theres nothing left for me to say, seeing as everything i say does get criticised as much as possible. Yeah thanks for that, just giving you an example of an "Anti-fat friend", then saying that i think it's wrong, and i get told i'm a moron just because i didn't understand the fact that some guy was supposedly adding an example of generalization, which i know i did myself, one which was never intended to offend people, one that wasn't that obvious, whatever you say. Oh and "what the 'ell", i might as well just never bother to try and add to something with a perfectly legitimate and relevant answer, seeing as that is sooo not the point with these forums.....

And whoever said that if he wasn't my friend, would i defend him? Well no, the whole point i am is cause he's my friend......


----------



## cinnamitch (Dec 19, 2008)

You're back again?
Sheesh. You know what Joe, i just got to say it, you bring out the bitch in me. A part of me just wants to let you have it with both barrels, but what will that do? Not a damn thing. You obviously have decided that we are all uptight asses who don't have the capacity to understand your devotion to your friend. Ok so be it, be his defender who the hell cares anymore. But i want to give you one final example of how your actions make a lot of us feel


Do you love your Mom? I'm going to assume you do, if not take another well loved female and insert in this hypothetical situation. Now lets say your adored female was oh ugly, Now you love her and accept her less than perfect looks because well duh you love her. Now lets say your friend hates the way she looks and makes comments about her and even does it within her hearing. I mean he even makes whinnying noises as she goes by. Now his actions cause her great pain and she has even cried because of it. HOW WOULD YOU FEEL? If your friends actions made someone you totally loved so unhappy, do you just accept him? I dont think so. I think by your actions regarding fat women, that maybe you are not as into fat women as you think. I mean maybe you have a hard time finding girls, and thought maybe it would be easier to try fat girls. But as a woman who has lived in this fat body for 46 years let me tell you, we dont need people like you. You honestly need to think long and hard about your true feelings and if you still do not see the error in your thinking, you might just want to rethink any kind of relationship with a fat girl.


----------



## mossystate (Dec 19, 2008)

I just remembered that I need to send a Christmas card to my brother... Joel William.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Dec 19, 2008)

mossystate said:


> I just remembered that I need to send a Christmas card to my brother... Joel William.



OK, so it's not kosher to pick on teh fat ... but ... I'm fairly certain that there's nothing in the manual about Anti Mossy Friends. 


So, how goes it, Shitcakes?


----------



## stan_der_man (Dec 19, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> OK, so it's not kosher to pick on teh fat ... but ... I'm fairly certain that there's nothing in the manual about Anti Mossy Friends.
> 
> ...



If it's not kosher to pick on teh fat... at least is it Ok to pinch the fat...? and make "Auntie Mossy" comments....?


Just curious...


----------



## mossystate (Dec 19, 2008)

* wonders if I can stop my Xmas cards from reaching Misty *



It is nearly Christmas. The baby Jesus is wishing you would not be so mean to the Mossything. He has half a mind to crawl out of the manger and give you a good talking to.

Oh, and stop messing up Joe's thread.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Dec 19, 2008)

fa_man_stan said:


> If it's not kosher to pick on teh fat... at least is it Ok to pinch the fat...? and make "Auntie Mossy" comments....?
> 
> 
> Just curious...



I am not only a member, but the President of the Stan der Man Anti Fan Club. Meets every Friday at 2:09 p.m. 

Oops ... don't want to be late to my own party! We serve Little Debbie Snack Cakes and we ALL drink the Kool-Aid.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Dec 19, 2008)

mossystate said:


> * wonders if I can stop my Xmas cards from reaching Misty *
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Jeebus has other things to worry about than who is being naughty or nice to The Mossy. He's fixed his attention to the sad state of the economy in North America (I'm fairly certain that he's already written off the little brown people in the Middle East & Asia because they're not White, Protestant OR [and this is the biggie] Anglo-Saxon. Jeebus did promise that he would restore my shrunken 401(K) savings, so it's all good.


----------



## olwen (Dec 19, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> Ok well, i guess theres nothing left for me to say, seeing as everything i say does get criticised as much as possible. Yeah thanks for that, just giving you an example of an "Anti-fat friend", then saying that i think it's wrong, and i get told i'm a moron just because i didn't understand the fact that some guy was supposedly adding an example of generalization, which i know i did myself, one which was never intended to offend people, one that wasn't that obvious, whatever you say. Oh and "what the 'ell", i might as well just never bother to try and add to something with a perfectly legitimate and relevant answer, seeing as that is sooo not the point with these forums.....
> 
> And whoever said that if he wasn't my friend, would i defend him? Well no, the whole point i am is cause he's my friend......



I'm the one who asked you that, in the hopes that it would make you think....we get that you want to defend your friend. It makes perfect sense for you to want to defend your best friend, but dude where's the line? There has got to be a point at which you say, to your friend "Enough! I'm sick of your shit. If you don't stop saying stupid shit then we're gonna have to rethink this friendship." ...At least that's what I'd do. If you don't want to say something that extreme to him then it means you're afraid he doesn't care enough about your friendship to actually stop doing something you say you don't like, something that makes you uncomfortable....if you don't think he can stop, (you don't think he can if you make excuses for his behavior: 'oh but he can't help it' ) then why would you put up with it? I wouldn't. That's just too much stress for me to deal with. I wouldn't even put up with that kind of bs from a family member let alone a friend. 

If you decide to keep the guy as a friend and he doesn't change, just know that you WILL have to choose between him and any self respecting fat woman you decide to date. To bring the point home even more you'd have to choose between the love of your friend or the possible love of your life. I know which one I'd choose.


----------



## mossystate (Dec 19, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> Jeebus did promise that he would restore my shrunken......




Fun to play fill in the blank, with that line.

So, Jeebus only helps white chicks in Minnesota?  I should have stayed in Lake Bronson!!:doh:


----------



## TraciJo67 (Dec 19, 2008)

mossystate said:


> Fun to play fill in the blank, with that line.



Well, yeah, coz there's so much material to work with there, Mossystain. Good catch! 



> So, Jeebus only helps white chicks in Minnesota?  I should have stayed in Lake Bronson!!:doh:



I soooo did not say that. Stop putting words in my mouth! I'm a player, not a hater! Just ask Joe. He'll tell you.


----------



## JoeFA (Dec 19, 2008)

cinnamitch said:


> I think by your actions regarding fat women, that maybe you are not as into fat women as you think. I mean maybe you have a hard time finding girls, and thought maybe it would be easier to try fat girls. But as a woman who has lived in this fat body for 46 years let me tell you, we dont need people like you. You honestly need to think long and hard about your true feelings and if you still do not see the error in your thinking, you might just want to rethink any kind of relationship with a fat girl.



Ok now your missing the point, all i've been saying is that i have a friend who insults fat people sometimes, and that it is WRONG, SO I HAVE TOLD HIM TO STOP. Hmm, hypothetical situation. Say theres someone on a forum, and he's making a point, and everyone totally misses that point and starts carping on about loads of stuff which he never said. How do you think he feels?. I'll give you a hint, it makes him feel annoyed, irritated. You could say it brings out the bitch in him.

And i am into fat women, or thinner women, but i would prefer to date a fat woman, that's why my last 2 girlfriends have been fat ones. And if you don't need me, i don't honestly care. I don't need you either, making up stuff that i dislike fat women for having tolerated a few insults to complete strangers by my friend a few times. That's rational, thats something that really makes me want to say i'm sorry for having offended you, though you did kind of assume for yourself that i was doing that, but i wasn't.

I like fat women, i respect them for who they are and was merely adding to this thread something, something which has been blown totally out of proportion and is definitely something you don't want to hear. Though why shouldn't you want to hear it. I have said, numerous times, i don't tolerate whats happening, and the only reason i still am friends with him is that he's a very close friend, and whats the point of getting rid of friends over something that can be resolved, and has been, easily?

You honestly need to think long and hard about how you percieve things, as i think either you don't know how to interpret a group of words or are just looking to piss me off, which is gonna affect your judgement. Again, i in no way have any disrespect for fat people and HAVE resolved the issue, making it no longer an issue.

OK?


----------



## TraciJo67 (Dec 19, 2008)

This (particularly obnoxious phrases bolded): 



JoeFA said:


> I think it's really annoying about how in your face people can be when talking about their opinions. *Like i have a friend who is the exact definition of anti-fat, so whenever we're walking about town or something and he encounters or even just sees a larger person from a distance, he'll immediately start talking about how disgusting and unatural they are, even when that person is quite nearby and can probably hear him*.
> 
> I know thats really harsh, but *i wont just dislike him for that. Maybe if i was fat myself i would*, but i only like fat women, as a preference to other, slimmer women. It doesn't come down to size, but if i can find a woman whose kind, friendly, fun to be around and also fat, then i'm in dreamland .
> 
> ...



Is quite a 360 from this:



JoeFA said:


> Ok now your missing the point, all i've been saying is that i have a friend who insults fat people sometimes, and that it is WRONG, SO I HAVE TOLD HIM TO STOP. Hmm, hypothetical situation. Say theres someone on a forum, and he's making a point, and everyone totally misses that point and starts carping on about loads of stuff which he never said. How do you think he feels?. I'll give you a hint, it makes him feel annoyed, irritated. You could say it brings out the bitch in him.
> 
> <snipped the blah blah blah poor pitiful me routine>



Also ... Joe? JOE!!! Pay attention here: This thread has been hijacked. It is no longer about you. It is officially about ME, and since your constant missing-the-point whine fest is getting rather tiresome, I'd appreciate if you'd just go away. Buh-bye, now. Really. It's been nice 'n all but <yawn> gosh, I'm so tired, and it's getting kind of late ....


----------



## stan_der_man (Dec 19, 2008)

mossystate said:


> Fun to play fill in the blank, with that line.
> 
> So, Jeebus only helps white chicks in Minnesota?  I should have stayed in Lake Bronson!!:doh:



You don't wanna be pissin' off baby Jeebus now, dontcha know.


----------



## Paquito (Dec 19, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> Ok now your missing the point, all i've been saying is that i have a friend who insults fat people sometimes, and that it is WRONG, SO I HAVE TOLD HIM TO STOP.
> 
> OK?



Oh my bad, I guess I must have misinterpreted you saying that you don't mind him making fun of fat people and that you're ok with it since he's your friend. How could we have taken that as anything negative? I guess Dims members just don't get it, huh?

Oh, and if you haven't guessed it, that was sarcasm.


----------



## JoeFA (Dec 19, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> This (particularly obnoxious phrases bolded):
> 
> 
> 
> ...



If it's about you, then why is no-one talking about you? Hmm....now thats a thinker.

Anywho, i'm just defending what i said, and sorry if i can't remember what i said, seeing as it's being interpreted in so many different, equally objective ways. And i like the humour.....shame it's not funny.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Dec 19, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> If it's about you, then why is no-one talking about you? Hmm....now thats a thinker.
> 
> Anywho, i'm just defending what i said, and sorry if i can't remember what i said, seeing as it's being interpreted in so many different, equally objective ways. And i like the humour.....shame it's not funny.



Nobody has to talk about me. *I* know that it's all about me. That's the important thing, right? How *I* interpret it. I'm sure you know exactly what I mean, Mr. "FA".


----------



## JoeFA (Dec 19, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> Nobody has to talk about me. *I* know that it's all about me. That's the important thing, right? How *I* interpret it. I'm sure you know exactly what I mean, Mr. "FA".



I sure do, Mr "It's all about me".


----------



## stan_der_man (Dec 19, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> yada yada yada... dontcha know...
> 
> ...



As I was saying about you earlier TraciJo... I'm really not clear on this "Auntie-Fat Friends" thing... I would gladly be friends with someone's fat auntie. I'm totally not seeing the problem here...




JoeFA said:


> If it's about you, then why is no-one talking about you? Hmm....now thats a thinker.
> 
> yada yada yada...
> ....



If you don't mind Joe, TraciJo and I are having a little conversation here... thx!


----------



## TraciJo67 (Dec 19, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> I sure do, Mr "It's all about me".



You truly don't get the concept of irony, do you? I'm starting to think that you're not deliberately misunderstanding. You just really ... REALLY ... aren't getting it. 

Pardon me whilst I rush out to talk to my cast-iron skillet. I think it may prove a more fruitful exercise.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Dec 19, 2008)

fa_man_stan said:


> As I was saying about you earlier TraciJo... I'm really not clear on this "Auntie-Fat Friends" thing... I would gladly be friends with someone's fat auntie. I'm totally not seeing the problem here...



Stop that, Stan der Man! You're deliberately misconstruing what I've said, and I won't stand for it, do you hear me? Sheesh. I make ONE innocent remark about someone and THIS is the thanks I get.


----------



## JoeFA (Dec 19, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> You truly don't get the concept of irony, do you? I'm starting to think that you're not deliberately misunderstanding. You just really ... REALLY ... aren't getting it.
> 
> Pardon me whilst I rush out to talk to my cast-iron skillet. I think it may prove a more fruitful exercise.



What, you doubted my credibility as an FA, i doubted the likelyhood that this thread is in deed about you, how is that anything to do with irony? And again i like the use of humour.....but i'd prefer it if it was actually funny.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Dec 19, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> What, you doubted my credibility as an FA, i doubted the likelyhood that this thread is in deed about you, how is that anything to do with irony? And again i like the use of humour.....but i'd prefer it if it was actually funny.



So, Joe ... if I told you that it was raining cats and dogs, would you look outside, tell me that all you see is water, and ask me why I lied?


----------



## JoeFA (Dec 19, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> So, Joe ... if I told you that it was raining cats and dogs, would you look outside, tell me that all you see is water, and ask me why I lied?



No, i'd say it actually was then run away laughing as you yourself looked outside, bemused. Maybe, it ain't gonna happen, like i won't be able to convince any of you that i am not a bigoted twatface with a soft spot for fat-haters


----------



## mossystate (Dec 19, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> What, you doubted my credibility as an FA....




I think a guy can admire fat, like some goodies under glass....want to fuck it....want to jerk to it. I would never doubt these things....ever.

It gets a lil trickier when ya have to actually see the person and not want to allign yourself with those of a less than savory nature. Then, the wank fodder gets all self righteous and shit.

 
* sigh *...I know. I wish life were more fair.


----------



## stan_der_man (Dec 19, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> Stop that, Stan der Man! You're deliberately misconstruing what I've said, and I won't stand for it, do you hear me? Sheesh. I make ONE innocent remark about someone and THIS is the thanks I get.



Not at all Tea-Jo, I certainly didn't mean to be misconstructing, I wouldn't do that! You know that I always enjoy insolent remarks about someone and wish to continue our dialog in this thread of yours! :happy:


----------



## stan_der_man (Dec 19, 2008)

mossystate said:


> ...
> It gets a lil trickier when ya have to actually see the person and not want to allign yourself with those of a less than savory nature. Then, the wank fodder gets all self righteous and shit.
> 
> 
> * sigh *...I know. I wish life were more fair.



I can vouch for exactly this same point...I've experienced it myself as a FA. There are times when a FA has to stand up to friends or associates that are saying disrespectful things about fat people, the very people the FA purportedly supports and admires.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 19, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> Man I don't care if he's Queen Elizabeth. People who say stuff about gooks, fags, liberals and fat people are not worthy of my respect. It's about having some standards. I could see if this were a peg legged uncle that one has to put up with *but to just sit there grinning like a scarecrow while a good friend makes offensive comments about people you claim to like speaks volumes about you whether you believe so or not.* It says you halfway believe most of the shit he says in the first place. You wouldn't hang around him if he made constant racial slurs or talked of kicking puppies or something. Gawd, I'm not even sure if you HAVE any boundaries -- he could call your mother a whore and you'd still extol his vast virtues.







cinnamitch said:


> Opinions?
> It was Hitlers opinion that the only good Jew was a dead Jew
> It was the KKK's opinion that the African Americans needed to "learn their place"
> It was a long held opinion that women didnt need schooling because they were only going to be wives and mothers after all
> ...






BothGunsBlazing said:


> Okay, so, if he were racist or abusive towards animals, you wouldn't tolerate him?
> 
> *What is the difference between a child being brought up to hate people of a different race/religion and one who is taught to hate fat people?*
> 
> ...



Looks like the service has started and some are having a word of prayer with you Joe.......it might behoove you to listen if you ever wish to have more than just white male friends that won't allow room for anything/anyone else in your life. I prefer to choose my own friends/lifestyle......and I find stinted, close minded people that follow everything typical like sheep kind of boring......
What a boring fucking thread you have going on here Joe......

Discrimination is discrimination.......look at the bigger picture. Your friend that does not "tolerate" others that are different from him.....why is he so deserving of your "tolerance"? He must think that you are exactly like him because he obviously cannot stand anyone not just like himself- how did he get that idea about you if you did not lead him to believe it yourself? 



LisaInNC said:


> My oldest brother thinks fat women are gross and often comments, " I would never date a fat woman, they are gross!" and I usually say, "well thats ok cause fat women dont date ugly men"






LillyBBBW said:


> We don't have time to be sympathetic about some *Sidewalk Socrates* who has probably lived a totally sheltered life trying to deride us about the evils of being fat.





BothGunsBlazing said:


>





Blackjack said:


> I have.
> 
> I do it regularly, at work and with friends.
> 
> ...





free2beme04 said:


> Totally late on this situation, but I found 2 cents, and I'm throwing them in.
> 
> Joe, in no way, shape, or form is your friend's opinion OK.
> In no way, shape, or form is being apathetic to your friend's opinion OK.
> ...






Red said:


> *Saying nothing is silent agreement*





mossystate said:


> Oh, and stop messing up Joe's thread.



I want to have sex with each and every one of you now......:bow: :wubu:

Well....I always want to have sex with Monique really bad already.....but just added a few more to list this evening  



SamanthaNY said:


> I'm tired of the eggshells here.
> 
> Joe - does your bigot-ass friend have absolutely *zero* self control? Does he spit on clergy? shit on the street? Does he wipe his ass with old ladies' purses? shake his dick at schoolchildren? Pop his zits over the salad bar? And when he does, will you defend that too? Will you stand idly by as he dry-humps your grandmother? Just how much assholic behavior will you accept and defend? (Do I need to state that these are rhetorical? Yeah, I figured.)
> 
> ...



Now YOU really turned me on getting all down and dirty Samantha.....it's so hot...... :batting: 



cinnamitch said:


> I have a feeling he will be doing a lot of chicken choking if he stays around here.



This turned me on, too......but chicken choking always has that effect on me 



fa_man_stan said:


> If you don't mind Joe, TraciJo and I are having a little conversation here... thx!



I can't get turned on by a married man so how about just a simple :bow: ?


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## Duniwin (Dec 19, 2008)

JoeFA said:


> Anywho, i'm just defending what i said, and sorry if i can't remember what i said, seeing as it's being interpreted in so many different, equally objective ways. And i like the humour.....shame it's not funny.



How can you be defending what you said if you don't remember what you said? I'm curious.
I will agree with you: what you said has been interpreted in "many different, equally objective ways".

For the sake of argument, I am willing to assume that, as you say, the issue has now "been resolved, making it no longer an issue."
Does that mean your friend will no longer make offensive comments about fat women?
What will you do if he or someone else, another friend perhaps, makes and anti-fat comment in the future?


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## goodthings (Dec 19, 2008)

I do not agree with Joe, but I think that he is young and does not really understand the world as of yet. Remember that many of us have had to deal with discrimination all of our lives, chances are that Joe has not, and so we need to teach him rather than alienate him. If he does not get bullied off this site, which is kinda how I feel this is going, he will never have a chance to really change his views enough so that he knows his friend is wrong and that Joe is just as wrong to allow his friend to be an anti-fat bigot. He is just a boy and is showing his immaturity and ignorance and we must help him understand better. If he was not able to catch on to the irony it is because he has not developed that level of mature intelligence, so we have to teach him, rather than scorn him.


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## mossystate (Dec 19, 2008)

goodthings said:


> > I do not agree with Joe, but I think that he is young and does not really understand the world as of yet
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## Red (Dec 20, 2008)

Blackjack said:


> You damn American sympathizer, how *dare *you be so cruel to the plights of the bigoted!








This thread is a bit painful to read really. I just hope JoeFA gives it day or two then sits back down to read it from start to finish and starts to understand exactly whats been said.


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## MoonGoddess (Dec 20, 2008)

_No friends, but my husband does it all the time. I see him just twice a year when he comes up from CT. for a visit, and at those times he keeps his mouth pretty much shut. But when we have our daily phone calls and emails, he will sometimes make a comment about a person of size coming into the bicycle shop, alluding to the belief that we cannot ride bikes or do anything healthy. It really bothers me, and I will tear into him for it. He does end up apologizing, but it sickens me that he is such a fat-phobe at heart. He even made a few snarky comments after he got home about how I looked in my pageant gown (the red one floating around on another thread).

Either I am a saint or an asshole for putting up with him._


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## MaryElizabethAntoinette (Dec 20, 2008)

Sadly, many of my friends are anti-fat. Some even refuse to hang out with me whenever my boyfriend is around (since he weighs almost 500 pounds), and it gets pretty awkward having to choose between hanging out with my boyfriend and hanging out with my friends
Although I've been managing it, and slowly it's been getting better because the friends who dislike fat people have started to disappear from the radar: since they are obviously incompatible with my life.

I mean, if someone if going to dislike you on account of your size or even on account of your significant other's size... they aren't worth being your friend.


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## DJ_S (Dec 23, 2008)

fa_man_stan said:


> I can vouch for exactly this same point...I've experienced it myself as a FA. There are times when a FA has to stand up to friends or associates that are saying disrespectful things about fat people, the very people the FA purportedly supports and admires.




Totally!

Recently I was chatting with a dear friend online and she wanted to see my reaction to one of her vids, I jumped up and closed the door... 

I have nothing to hide or am I ashamed, yet wanted to share the moment with my friend alone, well across the ocean via a webcam lol.

The only reason I have done this; my house mates are less then nice when they see a fat person and I mean chubby, not even fat. Seriously fkd up to be honest, I let them know how incorrect this is, but am I a bad person by doing this, (closing the door)?


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 23, 2008)

DJ_S said:


> Totally!
> 
> Recently I was chatting with a dear friend online and she wanted to see my reaction to one of her vids, I jumped up and closed the door...
> 
> ...




Personally, when I send vids and pics out across the net IN PRIVATE thru the messengers or email....as in not posted openly on a forum, I prefer the recipient be the only one viewing it. That's *my* preference though.....

If she was thin, sent you the video, would you still want to watch in private? Do you do it to respect her privacy or to keep her a secret?
That is where you can do the "morality" check.....if you treat fat and thin the same way, then it's just how you are.....and not "hiding".


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## DJ_S (Dec 23, 2008)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Personally, when I send vids and pics out across the net IN PRIVATE thru the messengers or email....as in not posted openly on a forum, I prefer the recipient be the only one viewing it. That's *my* preference though.....
> 
> If she was thin, sent you the video, would you still want to watch in private? Do you do it to respect her privacy or to keep her a secret?
> That is where you can do the "morality" check.....if you treat fat and thin the same way, then it's just how you are.....and not "hiding".




Yes I would. This being my choice as I dearly value my friends and Yes it's totally out of respect!

I'm tall and proud with all my friends


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## LillyBBBW (Dec 23, 2008)

DJ_S said:


> Totally!
> 
> Recently I was chatting with a dear friend online and she wanted to see my reaction to one of her vids, I jumped up and closed the door...
> 
> ...



No, you're a bad guy if you say, "Hey fellas! Come here quick and check out this half naked blubberpus wobbling on cam to Funkadelics _Flashlight_ before she stops." That would suck.


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## Shosh (Dec 23, 2008)

DJ_S said:


> Totally!
> 
> Recently I was chatting with a dear friend online and she wanted to see my reaction to one of her vids, I jumped up and closed the door...
> 
> ...



Australia has a pretty anti fat culture in general. I have met more people that criticise fat than praise it. It sucks.


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## BigBeautifulRed (Dec 23, 2008)

Susannah said:


> Australia has a pretty anti fat culture in general. I have met more people that criticise fat than praise it. It sucks.


I heard Australia is one of the fattest countries in the world


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## Shosh (Dec 24, 2008)

BigBeautifulRed said:


> I heard Australia is one of the fattest countries in the world



There are many fat people here, but it still has a very anti fat type climate.

Fat people get harrassed and ridiculed routinely.


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## DJ_S (Dec 24, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> No, you're a bad guy if you say, "Hey fellas! Come here quick and check out this half naked blubberpus wobbling on cam to Funkadelics _Flashlight_ before she stops." That would suck.




Well that would Never happen.


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## Cleofatra_74 (Mar 21, 2009)

I have a fellow big chick friend who has been known to make degrading comments about bigger people. Well she used to (in front of me at least). I pointed out to her that she is soooo not a fan of being called mean fat names & it hurts her feelings, so why do it to someone else. I think alot of people say stuff without thinking & then there are just plain mean spirited people. 

I have a male friend who is a 40 something year old married man & was known to say alot of mean fat things to & about larger people. With him I think it was how he was brought up. I like to think that I have helped him (somewhat) realize all 'fat' people aren't lazy fat pigs (his words not mine)

I also know this guy who quite frankly I'd love to smack in the mouth (I'm not usually violent) he has so many issues & tends to take them out of his SSBBW sister in-law. No wonder a woman who is AWESOME can't see that about herself. 

I'm rambling, but I do think it all comes down to really what you think about yourself. I think if your not happy about something in your life it can be easily be put out there in a negative way. I also think because alot of people don't often think before they speak that it can't hurt to maybe make them aware of what they are saying & that some people are hurt by the comments. And you know what if they can't take that into account, are they really who you want in your life????? I for one prefer quality over quantity!


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## Rahero2k3 (Mar 21, 2009)

I have some friends who think its either funny weird or disgusting to date fat chicks, its annoying and wrong and I feel that people shouldn't be made fun of for liking them, everyone is beautiful.


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## disaster117 (Mar 21, 2009)

I feel like I have to act different around certain friends. My one friend who is also a BBW I am completely comfortable around, and then there is one other friend of ours who is like 100 pounds and never gains weight or anything. I could never imagine talking about anything relating to my weight with this skinny friend, ever.

This other friend is also kind of against fat, it seems. She says things with these connotations to them, and it makes me wonder if she really accepts us for who we are or not. One time I was talking to this friend discussing the other BBW friend and how I thought the BBW friend was beautiful, the skinny friend said that she thought she was beautiful too... but she thought "she would be prettier if she lost weight". I immediately responded with how I thought she'd be equally beautiful at any weight, and she just kind of brushed it off. I didn't really think I was the one for her to be telling that to, since that probably means she'd think I was prettier if I lost weight as well. Felt like someone punching me in the stomach, even if she didn't say it about me. That's our friend though, it wasn't like I wasn't expecting something like that to come out of her mouth.


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## Paquito (Mar 21, 2009)

I thought I was pretty lucky in the whole anti-fat friends category, until this week, due to something that happened yesterday.

We were discussing the Half Ton Teen, and one of my friends B said that if he got to 500 lbs, he'd probably start dieting. Which was fine, until one of my other friends said that if B got to 300 lbs, he should do something about it, and she'd feel sad for him.

Not really sure how to take that


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## Tau (Mar 24, 2009)

SamanthaNY said:


> I'm tired of the eggshells here.
> 
> Joe - does your bigot-ass friend have absolutely *zero* self control? Does he spit on clergy? shit on the street? Does he wipe his ass with old ladies' purses? shake his dick at schoolchildren? Pop his zits over the salad bar? And when he does, will you defend that too? Will you stand idly by as he dry-humps your grandmother? Just how much assholic behavior will you accept and defend? (Do I need to state that these are rhetorical? Yeah, I figured.)
> 
> ...



God, I love you:wubu:


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## JoeFA (Mar 26, 2009)

Oh please shut-up.....everyone

We've already resolved this, at least read ALL the comments before yours BEFORE making a comment, which most've you seem to think are valid and intelligent or ones which no-one has said before. Well, if you think that, your wrong.

Cheers, for making this drag on way to long.

So, to avoid future pointless commenting, let me summarise.

I said i have a friend who is abusive towards fat people

Uproar ensues

I apologise and say i'll tell him to stop

Yet more uproar

I assure you i'm doing something to stop

Even more uproar

I guarentee it's been done

Uproar stops

Some idiot re-ignites uproar

Yet more uproar

(Where we are currently, and what i hope will be the final bit of this) I summarise everything, having bid everyone to please STOP

Thank you...


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## LillyBBBW (Mar 26, 2009)

JoeFA said:


> Oh please shut-up.....everyone
> 
> We've already resolved this, at least read ALL the comments before yours BEFORE making a comment, which most've you seem to think are valid and intelligent or ones which no-one has said before. Well, if you think that, your wrong.
> 
> ...



There. Fixed it for you.


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## SamanthaNY (Mar 26, 2009)

No.... *YOU *shut up, Joe. Don't wanna read a thread that's risen from the dead? Then don't click on it. What you (and everyone else) write here, lives on FOREVER. Once it leaves your hands and the edit time expires, you're done. You've given up control of that post. You don't control that, or the thread it appears in, and within board rules (which you've broken with the name calling) _anyone _can say whatever they like. And I hope the friggin' do just that. 

And btw, telling people to stop... often results in the opposite, especially if you do with an arrogant, pissy attitude. 

Like this: 

Have a nice day.

You flouncing drama queen, lol.


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## Suze (Mar 26, 2009)

JoeFA said:


> Oh please shut-up.....everyone


lol


> (Where we are currently, and what i hope will be the final bit of this) I summarise everything, having bid everyone to please STOP
> 
> Thank you...


you wish!


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## Mathias (Mar 26, 2009)

When it comes to friends of mine who say anti fat thing, I lay down the law right then and there, and they've all respected my preference and stopped with the jokes.


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## TraciJo67 (Mar 26, 2009)

Pardon me, just stampeding in for a cheerful resubscribe!


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## mossystate (Mar 26, 2009)

* pops some corn *






because I like fat people





heheheee


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## TraciJo67 (Mar 26, 2009)

*** bump ***


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## Suze (Mar 26, 2009)

CHECK OUT THE PREVIEW FOR THE NEW SUMMER MOVIE "CONFESSIONS OF A DIMS DRAMA QUEEN"

www.dimsdramaqueenmovie.com


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## mossystate (Mar 26, 2009)

My formally fat friend Traci is such a rascal!!!!!!!!!


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## TraciJo67 (Mar 26, 2009)

mossystate said:


> My formally fat friend Traci is such a rascal!!!!!!!!!



My fat is quite _in_formal at the moment, thank you.

Also, 

***bump***


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## mossystate (Mar 26, 2009)

TraciJo67 said:


> My fat is quite _in_formal at the moment, thank you.
> 
> Also,
> 
> ***bump***



_In_formal?


you have shoved that shit into a tux?

post pictures


thanx
:wubu:


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## TraciJo67 (Mar 26, 2009)

mossystate said:


> _In_formal?
> 
> 
> you have shoved that shit into a tux?
> ...



This thread isn't about me and my fat.

It is about Joe and his anti-fat.

Friends, that is.

Let us please return this thread to its originally scheduled topic.

Joe? How are you?


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## mergirl (Mar 26, 2009)

Now. Ive not even read this thread yet, but i'm pretty certain someone here is a cunt!


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## mergirl (Mar 26, 2009)

lol (sorry, couldnt hold that laugh in)


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## TraciJo67 (Mar 26, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Now. Ive not even read this thread yet, but i'm pretty certain someone here is a cunt!



Oh. Me! Me me me me me! Is it me? Can it be me? <waves hand>

Damn. Mossything ALWAYS gets picked.


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## mergirl (Mar 26, 2009)

TraciJo67 said:


> Oh. Me! Me me me me me! Is it me? Can it be me? <waves hand>
> 
> Damn. Mossything ALWAYS gets picked.


Its ok ..we can ALL be cunts!


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## Suze (Mar 26, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Its ok ..we can ALL be cunts!


i thought you had started using fitte by now 
hmmf


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## mergirl (Mar 26, 2009)

susieQ said:


> i thought you had started using fitte by now
> hmmf


Aww..cant i do both  
Fitte fitte fitte fitte! 
actually i have a funny story about mixing up fitte and fika (sp)


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 26, 2009)

TraciJo67 said:


> *** bump ***



My children had a very confused and amazed look upon their faces when I started chortling suddenly..........


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## edino (Mar 28, 2009)

Actually all my friends are thin and they do not care that I weigh 500lbs. Its never mentioned or talked about in front of me. They accommodate me well also; they avoid my limitations which I appreciatte. But I had an interesting experience some time ago when my cousin asked me a favor to house her best friend for a month (she ended up staying two months). We are both the same age range, but she is fit and sporty; basically a total opposite of me. First she would just observe me at home; but once we got more connected she got more open; basically she is very anti fat and she watches every pound; she could not imagine how I could accept to live so big and why I do not appear to take any control. She commented on my food intake, the type of food, that Im not exercising, and all sorts of health risks. She said, you are nice; have a nice face but your body is screaming for exercise and weight loss. I never felt she was embarrassed when around me; but in public she was always very fast to point out I was just a friend; say no more. She was very nice, dont get me wrong, and she was very thankful for the home I gave her.


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## JoeFA (Mar 28, 2009)

Suze said:


> CHECK OUT THE PREVIEW FOR THE NEW SUMMER MOVIE "CONFESSIONS OF A DIMS DRAMA QUEEN"
> 
> www.dimsdramaqueenmovie.com



But if your not into all that, follow this link for the heartbreaking story about "the girl who didn't know how to make a good come back"

http://www.whatatool.com


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## mossystate (Mar 28, 2009)

****bumpsfortraci****


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## Paquito (Mar 28, 2009)

JoeFA said:


> But if your not into all that, follow this link for the heartbreaking story about "the girl who didn't know how to make a good come back"
> 
> http://www.whatatool.com



I for one thought Confessions of A Dims Drama Queen was the epic of our time. Sure, the star was a complete tool who still didn't learn his lesson at the end of the movie, but hell, the ride was great.

Too bad the attempted sequel "the girl who didn't know how to make a good come back" (clearly the director has no concept of CaPiTaLiZaTioN) was uninspired and lacked creativity.


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## Suze (Mar 28, 2009)

JoeFA said:


> But if your not into all that, follow this link for the heartbreaking story about "the girl who didn't know how to make a good come back"
> 
> http://www.whatatool.com


you're right, i suck. i even get people to copy my mistakes. 
*:'(*


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 28, 2009)

mossystate said:


> ****bumpsfortraci****




*does the love hustle for Monique* :wubu:


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## honeyhush (Mar 28, 2009)

One of my best friends is a skinny model wannabe. She makes anti fat comments regularly, about herself mainly though not always. 

To be honest, its just something we get on with. She prefers to be skinny and likes that look, so its not ridiculous to imagine she would find curvier women unattractive. 

If we are talking about a particular girl I will voice my opinion just as much as she voices hers. We just differ in our preferences. Good job we don't pick our friends based on their size eh


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## mergirl (Mar 30, 2009)

Oh i totally do! I weigh potential friends and if they are under 15 stone i tell them to fuck off!! Plus if i see a skinny woman on the street kick her!


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## mergirl (Mar 30, 2009)

humn..that was the laugh sound i made, couldnt help it.. i'm tired about lying about 'loling' ..the sound i made was 'humn'..i was like amusement ..though it was at myself.. so that was a bit sad really....


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## TraciJo67 (Mar 30, 2009)

***bumpety bump bump bumps*** to see all of the enraged responses that are sure to follow yet another "my friend is a fat-phobic goober but I luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuub her anyway" post.


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## Suze (Mar 30, 2009)

JoeFA said:


> Oh please shut-up.....everyone


listen to joe, y'all. or else i have to bring on the popcorn





look at her boob lololol


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## mergirl (Mar 30, 2009)

yeah..well.. someone i knew who was my bestest friend ever said to me..i think Dawn French looks fatter in series two of vicar of dibbley.. she didnt say "I dont mean that in a bad way" quickly enough for my liking" So i tortured her for a few months before killing her and feeding her to my dog and she was my friend since we were 5 but that was too good for her!!!!


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## mergirl (Mar 30, 2009)

Suze said:


> listen to joe, y'all. or else i have to bring on the popcorn
> 
> 
> 
> ...


hahahahahahaha.. oh i WISH i could give you "look at her boob lololol rep" but alas i am out!


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## mergirl (Mar 30, 2009)

Suze said:


> listen to joe, y'all. or else i have to bring on the popcorn
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Btw..is this some kind of feeder Dorian gray?


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## Suze (Mar 30, 2009)

Oh Please Shut Up.....everyone


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## BothGunsBlazing (Mar 30, 2009)




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## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 30, 2009)

mergirl said:


> hahahahahahaha.. oh i WISH i could give you "look at her boob lololol rep" but alas i am out!



It's okay- I got her for ya


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## Santaclear (Mar 30, 2009)

Suze said:


> Oh Please Shut Up.....everyone



You shut up.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 30, 2009)

Santaclear said:


> You shut up.



You should have just looked at her boob instead......


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## Santaclear (Mar 30, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> You should have just looked at her boob instead......



I did, and then I shut up.


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## Paquito (Mar 30, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> You should have just looked at her boob instead......





Santaclear said:


> I did, and then I shut up.



I guess Suze's boob has the power to end anger and fighting.

*sends boob to the Middle East*


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