# The Fat Morality Quiz



## Ash (Aug 13, 2010)

*The Fat Morality Quiz*

This is for fat people only. Duh.

This quiz is designed to determine whether you're a good fatty or a bad fatty based on your behaviors and my random measurement criteria that means nothing. This quiz requires math. Take off your shoes if you need to, even though you probably can't see your feet anyway.

In each category, find the option that best describes you and add or subtract accordingly. If none of the options fit, you get 0 points for the category. Sorry, I'm really fat and probably going to die soon. I don't have time to assign point values to every possible answer.

*Everyone starts with a score of 0.*

_Nutrition(choose one. Don't be greedy.):_
Add 6 points if you eat healthily all the time.
Add 4 points if you eat healthily some of the time.
Subtract 4 points if you like junk food.
Subtract 6 points if you never met a Cheeto you didn't like (and eat.)

_Exercise (choose one):_
Add 6 points if you exercise all the time
Add 4 points if you exercise sometimes
Subtract 4 points if you are a couch potato.
Subtract 6 points if you are immobile.

_Response to Visual Stimuli:_
Study these images:
View attachment donut_bacon_burger_0.jpg
View attachment 3ChocoTaco.jpg

Add 10 points if neither of these images appeal to you.
Add 5 points if one of these images appeals to you.
Subtract 5 points if you drooled a little.
Subtract 20 points if you licked your screen.
Subtract 21 points if you moaned a little WHILE licking your screen. 


_Choices (choose one):_
Add 20 points if you got fat completely accidentally
Add 2 points if you've made a few bad choices that have made you fat.
Subtract 2 points if you've made a lot of bad choices that have made you fat.
Subtract 20 points if you got fat completely on purpose.

_Diets:_
Add 1 point for every diet you've been on in your life. 

_Transgressions:_
Subtract 1 point for every cookie or bag of chips you've eaten this week.

*Now tally them up. I'll give you a few minutes extra in case you need to find a calculator.* 

Results!
_35 points and up_: You are a Gold Star Fatty! You did everything right! You win the prize. How did you even get fat, anyway?

_10 to 34 points :_ You tried your hardest, didn't you? It's okay. You're a PRETTY good fatty. Work on it.

_9 points to -9 points:_ Eek. You're straddling the line, amigo. Shape up or ship out.

_-10 points to -34 points:_ You are irresponsible and bad. Repent before it's too late!

_-35 points and below:_ HORRIBLE FATTY! You are probably going to hell for this. There won't be bacon there because God loves bacon and he doesn't love you.

*Post your scores if you dare!*

**Disclaimer: This quiz is meant for comedic purposes only. Any resemblance to real posters, living or dead, or threads, active or locked, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Mmmm Choco Taco.


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## mango (Aug 13, 2010)

_Fatty Distraction Test:_








If you scrolled down to look at the above image before completing your quiz, subtract a further 2 points.


:eat2:


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## Inhibited (Aug 13, 2010)

I scored -2 so i guess i need to ship out


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Aug 13, 2010)

mmmmm chocco taco!!!!! WANT. Wait, what was the question?


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## LillyBBBW (Aug 13, 2010)

I got negative 23.


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## Emma (Aug 13, 2010)

I got distracted by the donut burger and forgot how to do maths.


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## Dmitra (Aug 13, 2010)

Bonus extra distraction: Imagine beautiful Ashley eating the tasty chocco taco . . . slowly.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Aug 13, 2010)

Dmitra said:


> Bonus extra distraction: Imagine beautiful Ashley eating the tasty chocco taco . . . slowly.



screw that! lol. I want the chocco taco! dont make me cut a bitch!!!! :eat2:


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## thirtiesgirl (Aug 13, 2010)

Hmm. Not really into labeling myself as a "good" or "bad" fatty, even in fun. I'm just a fatty, ok?


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Aug 13, 2010)

thirtiesgirl said:


> Hmm. Not really into labeling myself as a "good" or "bad" fatty, even in fun. I'm just a fatty, ok?



....that was the point I think Ash was trying to make. We are all fat and there should be no such thing as good vs bad fatty.


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## tonynyc (Aug 13, 2010)

*Now... if this were going to be a "fair" fight ... we would have pictures of this*


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## dcoyote (Aug 13, 2010)

+7 line straddler


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## CarlaSixx (Aug 13, 2010)

+15

Dammit. 

There goes my "bad girl" image


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## bigpulve (Aug 13, 2010)

+19. I wish I had more points for working out though.


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## tonynyc (Aug 13, 2010)

........+20


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## Ash (Aug 13, 2010)

Yes, BPD, exactly. There's no "right" or "wrong" way to be fat. 

P.S. Y'all better step off of my Choco Taco.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Aug 13, 2010)

Ashley said:


> Yes, BPD, exactly. There's no "right" or "wrong" way to be fat.
> 
> P.S. Y'all better step off of my Choco Taco.




I'll wrestle you for it!!!


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## bigpulve (Aug 13, 2010)

tonynyc said:


> ........+20


Those god damn bag of chips yesterday knocked me into second.


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## Carrie (Aug 13, 2010)

Ashley said:


> Choices (choose one):
> Add 20 points if you got fat completely accidentally
> Add 2 points if you've made a few bad choices that have made you fat.
> Subtract 2 points if you've made a lot of bad choices that have made you fat.
> Subtract 20 points if you got fat completely on purpose.


Um... there's no option here for fell into a chocolate river at Willy Wonka's factory and emerged fatter than the sun. Were you _trying_ to exclude me?


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## Risible (Aug 13, 2010)

So how many points to put down the bag of Cheetos to do the math? That's gotta be worth somethin right there.


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## Paquito (Aug 13, 2010)

-60.

Deathfatz BIOTCH.


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## LillyBBBW (Aug 13, 2010)

Paquito said:


> -60.
> 
> Deathfatz BIOTCH.



I am too fat to stalk you which is causing me great mental distress.


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## Paquito (Aug 13, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> I am too fat to stalk you which is causing me great mental distress.



You know where my last stalker went? 3rd moob roll from the left.


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## supersoup (Aug 13, 2010)

-54


my work is done here.


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## LillyBBBW (Aug 13, 2010)

Paquito said:


> You know where my last stalker went? 3rd moob roll from the left.



Moob roll death. :smitten:


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## CastingPearls (Aug 13, 2010)

I'd like to take this quiz but I'm too busy eating pie.


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## SuperMishe (Aug 13, 2010)

mumble mumble -5
mumble mumble grumble +15
da da da then 7 x (2x + y) / 12
carry the 2

Ummm.... -82.356

Is that good?? Did I win??


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## AnnMarie (Aug 13, 2010)

I sprained a gelatinous digit counting, but I have hit -45 (thank you, bag of Oreos). 



> _-35 points and below:_ HORRIBLE FATTY! You are probably going to hell for this. There won't be bacon there because God loves bacon and he doesn't love you.


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## Sasquatch! (Aug 13, 2010)

I estimate between +5 and +15....Hmm....


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## Wagimawr (Aug 14, 2010)

Ashley said:


> There's no "right" or "wrong" way to be fat.


I dunno, making a quiz when you could be eating seems pretty "wrong" to me.


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## Ash (Aug 14, 2010)

Wagimawr said:


> I dunno, making a quiz when you could be eating seems pretty "wrong" to me.



Dude, I can multitask. I'm eating a burrito as I type this.


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## moore2me (Aug 14, 2010)

Fellow Immorals,

Chocolate Tacos have been my passion all summer. I think they are the best ice cream treats in the store. I found them accidentally (like a iron finds a magnet) at Walmart's ice cream aisle. They sell a box of 4 for $2.50. With tremendous willpower I only get one box a week. I ration them for every other day. (Mr. M2M is strictly a NuttyBuddy man, so he doesn't bother my stash.)

Once I saw that picture I couldn't concentrate on the quiz either. Heck, it's been about 105 degrees during the day here for three or four weeks. Our favorite things are ice, water, ice cream, whatever is cold, air conditioning, getting nekkid, getting wet, and sitting under a fan.


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## Britty (Aug 14, 2010)

I didn't bother to read any of the words, but can someone tell me where to get that ice cream thingy?


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## Ash (Aug 14, 2010)

Britty said:


> I didn't bother to read any of the words, but can someone tell me where to get that ice cream thingy?



CHOCO TACO. Available wherever ice cream novelties are sold. They used to have them at Taco Bell, too. Those were the days.


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## Angel (Aug 14, 2010)

_*Count*_ the cookies I ate?!?!?!!!

LOL

I count cookies by the row or by half a package or by the entire package! I'm a good girl if I can stop at one row! LOL


My score? guestimate = -60 or more

Now if you would have asked about pizza, the score would have topped -100! LOL


I hadn't seen this thread until just a few minutes ago. Funny thing is I just woke up after a dream about buying and eating two huge Coco Tacos! :eat2: (and they were HUGE!!! - like half the size of a large pizza and about 4-6 inches thick!  LOL After that dream, the cold pizza in the fridge refused to stop calling my name. I love cold pizza for breakfast. yummmmm! Now that my belly is full again I can go back to bed and get that other 4 hours of sleep! 


Now where do I find one (or TWO!) of those glazed donuts with the sausage, bacon, and egg? I need a feeder!


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## Wagimawr (Aug 14, 2010)

Ashley said:


> Dude, I can multitask. I'm eating a burrito as I type this.


Just checking. Keeping you on the fatty track and such.


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## Inhibited (Aug 14, 2010)

Ashley said:


> CHOCO TACO. Available wherever ice cream novelties are sold. They used to have them at Taco Bell, too. Those were the days.



We need a Taco Bell here, a friend went to America and she craves Taco Bell... hope i get to try it one day...


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## Dromond (Aug 14, 2010)

I actually bothered to do the math. Sprained a brain cell, I did. My total was a big fat goose egg. ZERO. It would have been a positive score but for that Doritos binge I went on last night, curse it all.


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## BBW4Chattery (Aug 14, 2010)

Stop posting picture of delicious food that I don't have in my house people.

Seriously.

WTF?

Have a little compassion.


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## StaySafeTonight (Aug 15, 2010)

Ashley said:


> CHOCO TACO. Available wherever ice cream novelties are sold. They used to have them at Taco Bell, too. Those were the days.



In high school I had a friend who worked at Taco Bell/KFC batter and fry a choco taco for me.... I'm drooling now just thinking about it!


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## Ash (Aug 15, 2010)

StaySafeTonight said:


> In high school I had a friend who worked at Taco Bell/KFC batter and fry a choco taco for me.... I'm drooling now just thinking about it!



I need a friend who can make this happen right now.


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## moore2me (Aug 15, 2010)

It has a facebook page. (I think some Dimmers pixs are on here.)
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Choco-Taco/28663800639

Individual Choco Tacos by are sold by Klondikebars In addition to the 4 pack, they now sell it in a individual unit, called a "On The Go" that should be at places selling individual ice cream treats. A picture is under products & On The Go.
http://www.klondikebar.com/freezer/


Klondike is owned by Ice Cream USA, Here is their corporate website. (The corp also sells Ben & Jerry's and Popsicles.)
http://www.icecreamusa.com/

Side Note - No, I am not a feeder. 'Just using my black belt in shopping. M2M bows a karate bow. :bow:


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## iglooboy55 (Aug 15, 2010)

and i'm a gold star fatty, all 140 pounds.


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## iglooboy55 (Aug 15, 2010)

in which case fuck my job


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## Ash (Aug 15, 2010)

iglooboy55 said:


> in which case fuck my job



You need to put these donuts to better use. HINT.


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## Fuzzy (Aug 15, 2010)

> Subtract 21 points if you moaned a little WHILE licking your screen.



I can't read the screen anymore.. *looks for a bottle of windex*


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## FA Punk (Aug 16, 2010)

I got a 15, I suck don't I. Oh and what was the OP's score? I'm a bit curious.


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## Ash (Aug 16, 2010)

FA Punk said:


> I got a 15, I suck don't I. Oh and what was the OP's score? I'm a bit curious.



-1000. But all of those are for the 1000 cookies I've eaten this week.

(But really, it's something like -57 or something. Paquito beat me.  )


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## Sasquatch! (Aug 16, 2010)

Ashley said:


> Paquito beat me.



He'd beat us all, given the chance. He's a regular Fritzl.


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## iglooboy55 (Aug 16, 2010)

Ashley said:


> You need to put these donuts to better use. HINT.



ok next party i attend i'm bringing donuts.


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## Ash (Aug 16, 2010)

iglooboy55 said:


> ok next party i attend i'm bringing donuts.



I'm printing this out for proof.


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## iglooboy55 (Aug 16, 2010)

Ashley said:


> I'm printing this out for proof.



its fuckin on. coconut for everybody.


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## Ash (Aug 16, 2010)

iglooboy55 said:


> its fuckin on. coconut for everybody.



Speaking my language, sir.


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## Dmitra (Aug 16, 2010)

Man, -4! Hefty heft hefty in a wimpy wimpy wimpy way, alas.


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## CrankySpice (Aug 16, 2010)

what the what.....people are bringing donuts to fatty gatherings now? Why was I not told?


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## Paquito (Aug 16, 2010)

Doughnuts for the DEATHFATZ

An organization I heartily approve of.


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## FA Punk (Aug 17, 2010)

Ashley said:


> -1000. But all of those are for the 1000 cookies I've eaten this week.
> 
> (But really, it's something like -57 or something. Paquito beat me.  )



should I take away points for thinking I can bribe you into a date with cookies and chocolate tocos? Plus, your score could always be worse right lol? So -57 isn't that bad.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Aug 17, 2010)

+13. I'm disappointed in myself.  

Now, change those cookies and chips to m&ms and hotpockets and I'd be at like -100. lol


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## BeaBea (Aug 18, 2010)

fat peeple is awl supposed to be stoopid but iz clever i scored minus elebentyseven jus tooday! Win!


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## Ash (Aug 22, 2010)

iglooboy55 said:


> ok next party i attend i'm bringing donuts.



I am more than happy to report that Mr. iglooboy55 delivers! He arrived at HB tonight with two boxes of yummy donuts. Photo evidence coming soon.

I hereby subtract 20 points from my score--and AnnMarie's and Soup's, too. We're bad, bad fatties.


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## AnnMarie (Aug 22, 2010)

Ashley said:


> I am more than happy to report that Mr. iglooboy55 delivers! He arrived at HB tonight with two boxes of yummy donuts. Photo evidence coming soon.
> 
> I hereby subtract 20 points from my score--and AnnMarie's and Soup's, too. We're bad, bad fatties.



Proof! (this was about 10 mins after they arrived, box one... mmmm) 

View attachment dnt.JPG


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## Paquito (Aug 22, 2010)

I see that some dicks in this thread are trying to out-deathfats me. 

MOTHERFUCKERS *crams down boxes of doughnuts*


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## EtobicokeFA (Aug 23, 2010)

AnnMarie said:


> Proof! (this was about 10 mins after they arrived, box one... mmmm)



If it was my house, he would be asked why he did not bring a full box, and sent for a new one.


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## candygodiva (Aug 23, 2010)

-59 <3 it may have been more, but i couldn't remember the exact number of diets i've been on in my life, so i just guessed 10.


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## AnnMarie (Aug 23, 2010)

EtobicokeFA said:


> If it was my house, he would be asked why he did not bring a full box, and sent for a new one.




hahaha... he brought two full boxes.  We just devoured a good portion of box one in no time flat.


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## Tooz (Aug 23, 2010)

I got ten points.


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## lotboy16 (Aug 25, 2010)

i got a -42. Pretty horrible fatty:eat1:


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## Chunkycheeks (Aug 25, 2010)

mango said:


> _Fatty Distraction Test:_
> 
> 
> 
> ...



loool Mango! and it look so good. I am so hungry who gonna send me something good to eat lol

oh and my score 9...ah well always time to do better lol


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## iglooboy55 (Aug 25, 2010)

Paquito said:


> I see that some dicks in this thread are trying to out-deathfats me.
> 
> MOTHERFUCKERS *crams down boxes of doughnuts*


don't worry, i only had the butternut.
heh heh and anne, why not post that group picture before i left in this thread


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## AnnMarie (Aug 27, 2010)

iglooboy55 said:


> don't worry, i only had the butternut.
> heh heh and anne, why not post that group picture before i left in this thread



Soupy's got it.


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## watts63 (Aug 30, 2010)

I got +34.


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## Your Plump Princess (Aug 31, 2010)

I Had a score of 2. 

.. I'd say I need to shape up. But Round _*IS*_ a shape. So I think I'm Good.


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## 0nlnn (Sep 3, 2010)

Hrm...+15. Now how exactly did I get fat? Ha ha:happy:


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## Elfcat (Sep 5, 2010)

I'm a bad fatty, and I'm not even fat!

I wonder how many skinny people would score negative ignoring the "how you got fat" question.


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## Jon Blaze (Sep 5, 2010)

IT'SSSS... Negative 9000.


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## moore2me (Sep 5, 2010)

Ill tell you a funny about my Choco Taco fancy. I was shopping in the WalMart two days ago & using their scooter. I was about finished and really, really tired (MS will kick your butt like that on some days). Anyway, I get ice cream and frozen goods last cause the heat in Arkansas is not very forgiving on frozen food being drug around for hours out of the freezer. So, as *I am rounding the aisle for the ice cream there are two young, handsome, 20ish, Air Force type guys having a lively discussion in front of the frozen treats section*. (Our store is close to a large Air Force Base.)

*One of the guys is telling the other about which items in the freezer are allowable on his fitness diet.* He says, These are full of fat, and points to other treats and says, These are full of sugar, and then says, These are full of fat and sugar. And then he points out some sugar free selections and says, If you have a sweet tooth & you must have something sweet have some of these, But remember, they only contain empty calories. Then finally the instruction points to a last low calorie ice cream bar and says,* Heres another one you can have if you need something sweet and cold  but dont blow too many calories on these things.* The other man continually nods in agreement. I notice that they have already stocked their shopping cart with some bananas, broccoli, chicken, and eggs  nothing else. (I wont even go into whats in my cart.)

The minute their lecture stops, I think theyre leaving so I pull up to get a box of the Choco Tacos. I was too quick. The instructor, being a gentleman (rats!!!), looks down on me in the cart and says,* Can I hand you something from the freezer maam? *

I looked at the two of them and started giggling (now, they think this chick must be wacko?) and said,* Theres no way I going to ask you to hand me anything I want from that ice cream freezer. I am not going to fall into that trap! * And I just couldnt stop giggling as the two guys sort of walked away, sort of puzzled but trying to be kind. Sometimes, I just amuse myself. And yes, I did get my Choco Tacos.

_And the Morale is - I may not have much morality, but I try to have fun._


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## Ample Pie (Sep 5, 2010)

I took the test and scored 3.1415926535.


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## georgeee (Jun 20, 2011)

BeautifulPoeticDisaster said:


> I'll wrestle you for it!!!



how come you dont have clips of you wrestling and pinning a small girl? seems you like the idea lol


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## GettingHeavierFL (Jun 24, 2011)

-43 = mmm, I want that donut burger thing, looks great! Think I'll settle for another hunk of cheesecake though.


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## luscious_lulu (Jun 24, 2011)

I'm so screwed. My work just bought a cookie company & there are always cookies in the office. 

I've been a bad, bad fatty...

-1,000,000


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## Xutjja (Jun 25, 2011)

-12 I guess I'm an irresponsible fatty.


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## Omega (Jul 1, 2011)

-35..... I've never eaten a choco taco before lol, looks like I'm headed to walmart to check this out!


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## Super Fan (Jul 5, 2011)

Ample Pie said:


> I took the test and scored 3.1415926535.



Yea Pie now that is the perfect score. :happy:


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## zsazsa (Jul 8, 2011)

I was @ -17 but the last 2 questions got me.. Diets are way too many to count as is the number of cookies I have eaten this week.


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## bmann0413 (Jul 8, 2011)

I couldn't do it. I got too distracted by the food pictures. Taaaaaaaasty.


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## EMH1701 (Jul 9, 2011)

Eh, I don't really think the food in the photos looked that good, but I'm one of those weird people who likes to cook for themselves. Give me a really good steak any day.


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## 1love_emily (Oct 19, 2011)

+29.... wow. Haha!


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## snuggletiger (Oct 19, 2011)

-30 and funny thing is I am skinny.


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## khrestel (Oct 26, 2011)

I don't have enough fingers to count in what kind of balance my diets and cookie bags eaten this week are but +1 before that which is somehow disturbing. Did I lie? I think I'm going to be troubled over this the rest of the day if I don't get some breakfast soon.


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## Clonenumber47 (Oct 31, 2011)

-5 I guess I need to try harder, or less depending on your point of view.

Although I have eaten "The Luther" once, it wasn't something I particularly enjoyed, maybe I just had a bad night. 

Choco Tacos are ok, but I prefer ice cream cookie sandwiches made with large soft toll house chocolate chip cookies.


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## Adrian (Nov 15, 2011)

Ample Pie said:


> I took the test and scored 3.1415926535.


I just love your score, I will try and duplicate it. If only I could get a twenty two and divide it by seven... that would be great.


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