# Creeping Censorship



## steve-aka (Feb 26, 2010)

Is it me or does there seem to be a disconcerting bit of behind the scenes censorship going on around here at Dims lately?

Case in point: I was just crafting a response to GoldenDelicious's "should I stay or should I go?" thread about mergirl's recent banning and when I went to post it, the thread had been closed. Before it was closed there was a great post by TraciJo67 which questioned the reasoning behind mer's ban, but now it has been removed. Why? It wasn't overly negative, it merely questioned whether there may have been personal reasons behind the ban. Are respectful questions like these, that just so happen to call out certain higher ups, verboten here? Frankly, these bowdlerizing actions sort of creep me out. They say to me that certain things, no matter how civil in tone, are simply NOT allowed and that sort of bearing stumbles onto a slippery slope.

Sure the site owner and the mods have certain powers and I'm all for 'em. But where is the line demarcating abuse of those powers? When does the good of all become the good of the few? Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Now, I'm not privy to all that mergirl may have done around here, or what she may have done in private to piss off certain powers that be, but I've always had lovely encounters with her. I found her to be funny, intelligent, witty and refreshingly assertive without being pompous or insulting, unlike a certain someone around here who's always so full of himself and his self-deluded and so-called "cleverness" that it really puzzles me as to why he wasn't banned LONG ago. 

But I digress. The bottom line for me is that mer was FAR from the worst example of someone who uses this site for "needling and lecturing". I feel she brought a spark of impish fun to this place and was definitely a cheerleader for trying to get people here involved in various tasks, such as the Dimensions Reading Group, which she spearheaded. I believe it's a shame to have her permanently banished from Dimensions when she brought so much to it.

But what do I know? I'm just a faceless prole blending with the thousands of other faceless proles who make up the bulk what Dimensions is. Power to the people...I guess.


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## TraciJo67 (Feb 26, 2010)

Frankly, I'm shocked that I haven't been stealth banned yet. Hell, enough people dislike my persona around here, they'd celebrate to see BANNED in red flashing letters dancing around my username. No need to do it quietly, in other words. Mergirl was one of the most relentlessly cheerful personas ever to grace the halls of Dimslandia. Yes, she needled. But her barbs were rather pointed, in one direction. I truly do not get the reasoning behind her ban. But then, I don't care. That's right. I don't care. We all get that this is not a democracy. If anyone had reason to question that before, certainly, it's not being questioned now. 

Especially since the Man Behind The Curtains Himself broke one of his own hard 'n fast rules by posting the contents of a private message onto the board. Golly Gee Willikers, Conrad .. did you hand yourself a hefty infraction?


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## GTAFA (Feb 26, 2010)

Ha... i thought this thread was going to be about Google's lawsuit in Italy, where they've been held responsible for a post in a public space (they supposedly didn't take it down fast enough).

To criticize Conrad for his behaviour is to mistake this site for a truly public place. Don't forget: it's his ass that can be sued. He can make whatever rules he wants, and is only as good as the people enforcing those rules. People make mistakes.

Give him a break already. If the lawmakers like the ones in Italy have their way, there will be much much tighter monitoring and control over what's posted all over the internet. It's totally impractical, of course, and seems unfair to me. But that doesn't mean anything (what I think is fair... ha), if the tendencies of countries such as Iran, China and now Italy disrupt the earlier consensus in other countries that seemed to support freedoms of speech. 

*http://blogs.computerworld.com/15648/google_execs_sentenced_in_italy*


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## TallFatSue (Feb 26, 2010)

I haven't had any run-ins or infractions with the mods. As far as I'm concerned Conrad can do whatever he pleases with Dimensions and it's perfectly fine with me. He's the captain of this ship and the mods are his crew, and I can't imagine anyone doing better jobs in what are often thankless tasks. I'm thankful the Dimensions ship exists at all, and it's a privilege to sail with them. 

On the other hand, lately I've felt the need to be verrrry careful what I post lest I receive verbal depth charges from certain members. I'm not alone: I remember a post a few weeks ago to the effect that often when someone has something positive to say about her size or her life, others immediately tar and feather her for it. People do need to share their problems (I have many but I'd simply rather not dwell on them), but they also need to share their successes (I have many of those too) without being made to feel they have no business being here. Kinda like scurvy stowaways on the Dimensions ship. Who'd 'a' thunk accentuating the positive could be majorly politically incorrect? 

Oh well, I suppose every ship has a problem with corrosion to some extent. But it's still very seaworthy (methinx I need another cruise).


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## CrankySpice (Feb 26, 2010)

Oh, for Pete's sake, people. If you've been around Dimensions long enough (as most of you have) then you know the rules by now. 

I understand that it's great for shits and giggles to try and push the envelope as far as you can, but you must understand that do it often enough or harshly enough and you are going to suffer the consequences. Crying foul or suggesting that you had NO IDEA a ban was possible for your behavior is disingenuous at best. Downright stupid, otherwise.

And as for the super-secret double probation stealth bans - Pah-leeze. Give it a rest already. Now that you don't get to wear your martyr's badge of honor under your avatar, you all have to pull a GWB and start spreading the fear and terror that ANYONE at ANY MOMENT is going to abducted by the black van of random ban-dom. You know it isn't true. You know it. You're just angry that there's no visible proof of your grand sacrifice for the anti-Dims crowd. How dare you be denied!

Get over it, and get over yourselves.


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## Saoirse (Feb 26, 2010)

Well then... why was Mergirl banned? Why are her username/avatar still around? Why was the other thread closed?

THIS MAKES NO SENSE! :doh:


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## ChubbyBubbles (Feb 26, 2010)

It's quite simple...as long as you conform and kiss ass, you won't be banned. Enough said.


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## TraciJo67 (Feb 26, 2010)

CrankySpice said:


> Oh, for Pete's sake, people. If you've been around Dimensions long enough (as most of you have) then you know the rules by now.
> 
> I understand that it's great for shits and giggles to try and push the envelope as far as you can, but you must understand that do it often enough or harshly enough and you are going to suffer the consequences. Crying foul or suggesting that you had NO IDEA a ban was possible for your behavior is disingenuous at best. Downright stupid, otherwise.
> 
> ...


 
If I were stealth banned, I'd only be surprised at the stealth of it. Not the ban of it. 

Mergirl's ban, though ... yes, that did shock me.

Have you really seen anything that she's written here that would be worthy of a permanent ban? I mean, come on -- we can do a search for all of her recent posts. A truly determined person could find just about everything she's ever written here. 

Bottom line, though -- if Conrad banned her for the reason that *I* suspect (he dislikes her immensely), well then ... it's still his site. Nothing we can do about it but piss 'n moan. Having said that, though -- it would be nice if he was at least forthright about it. You know, so the rest of us won't be shocked and awed when one day we do find ourselves unable to log in


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## Paquito (Feb 26, 2010)

Man I miss that Scot.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Feb 26, 2010)

GREAT SCOT! lol. Couldn't help myself.


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## SoVerySoft (Feb 26, 2010)

Two points:

1. Sure, search her posts, the venomous posts were deleted. You won't see them.

2. Kiss ass? are you kidding me? I'd say just don't be nasty about this place, and that should be enough. No ass kissing required.


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## Saoirse (Feb 26, 2010)

SoVerySoft said:


> Two points:
> 
> 1. Sure, search her posts, the venomous posts were deleted. You won't see them.
> 
> 2. Kiss ass? are you kidding me? I'd say just don't be nasty about this place, and that should be enough. No ass kissing required.



More venomous than some of the others posts that appear here by posters who havent been banned? Nope.


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## SoVerySoft (Feb 26, 2010)

Saoirse said:


> More venomous than some of the others posts that appear here by posters who havent been banned? Nope.



You don't know that.


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## Saoirse (Feb 26, 2010)

SoVerySoft said:


> You don't know that.



Not 100%, only mods can know that... but I know mergirl for the most part was kind, fun and engaging.


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## Mathias (Feb 26, 2010)

Saoirse said:


> Not 100%, only mods can know that... but I know mergirl for the most part was kind, fun and engaging.



Because somebody is fun and engaging doesn't mean that they don't pay the consequences when they break the rules.


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## ChubbyBubbles (Feb 26, 2010)

SoVerySoft said:


> Two points:
> 
> 1. Sure, search her posts, the venomous posts were deleted. You won't see them.
> 
> 2. Kiss ass? are you kidding me? I'd say just don't be nasty about this place, and that should be enough. No ass kissing required.



Nothing personal towards you SVS, but I do find a lot of ass kissing going on here. Of course it's only my opinion. (although I've been getting a lot of positive rep for that comment...) I understand that Conrad has his rules and he is "the captain of his ship", still we are all adults and I feel we have the right to our own opinions whether he agrees or not. As long as people aren't doing anything illegal or bullying members, I don't see why banning should ever be considered. No one should be punished for voicing their opinions. I feel like one has to walk on eggshells and choose their words wisely when it comes to posting for fear of being banned. I also see a lot of "clicks" in which certain people are "allowed" to say and do what they want without fear because of their "status" with Conrad. Nothing personal towards Conrad either since I've never met the man, however, I can say I'm not impressed with the direction Dimensions is heading and if he's running this ship, well, need I say more? Again, just my opinion.


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## SoVerySoft (Feb 26, 2010)

ChubbyBubbles said:


> Nothing personal towards you SVS, but I do find a lot of ass kissing going on here. Of course it's only my opinion. (although I've been getting a lot of positive rep for that comment...) I understand that Conrad has his rules and he is "the captain of his ship", still we are all adults and I feel we have the right to our own opinions whether he agrees or not. As long as people aren't doing anything illegal or bullying members, I don't see why banning should ever be considered. No one should be punished for voicing their opinions. I feel like one has to walk on eggshells and choose their words wisely when it comes to posting for fear of being banned. I also see a lot of "clicks" in which certain people are "allowed" to say and do what they want without fear because of their "status" with Conrad. Nothing personal towards Conrad either since I've never met the man, however, I can say I'm not impressed with the direction Dimensions is heading and if he's running this ship, well, need I say more? Again, just my opinion.



So you think the members here who defend Dimensions are ass kissing? Well, as so many ass kissers have said before, I really just don't understand why people who don't like it here are still here. They should just go. Seriously.

And you know I am not usually cantankerous but I have reached my limit. This is really pissing me off.


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## steve-aka (Feb 26, 2010)

I'm so sick of the "it's Conrad's site, he can do whatever he wants" argument. Sure it's his site, sure he's incredibly awesome for starting Dimensions and maintaining it all these years and putting up with the piles upon piles of administrative and technological nightmares. I applaud the man, he's a king among FAs surely! And I mean this with the utmost of sincerity.

HOWEVER, if it weren't for the members of this site, Dimensions would be nothing. The people who participate herein, the ones who dare to post their opinions and views, to put themselves out there for ridicule and rebuking, they are the reasons why this place persists. To question the fairness of the banning of a member who, as far as I can tell, was a positive and insightful person should not only be allowed but encouraged by the people who run this place. To do otherwise would be admitting that this place is despotic and that the participants have no say in how to shape this community. This will foster resentment, as it already has, and ultimately less people will find solace within the confines of Dimension's hallowed halls.

I'm not saying there should be some sort of People's Party revolution to overthrow the powers that be. Far from it. What I am saying is the powers that be should be careful not to consider themselves above the very rules they've put into place and certainly NOT single people out simply because those people rub them the wrong way. As I stated previously, mergirl certainly didn't do anything worse than some people who are still members in good standing. And, taking these facts into consideration, her banning seems unfair and intolerant. And those are certainly not traits I've come to expect here at Dimensions. But things can change, apparently.


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## ChubbyBubbles (Feb 26, 2010)

SoVerySoft said:


> So you think the members here who defend Dimensions are ass kissing? Well, as so many ass kissers have said before, I really just don't understand why people who don't like it here are still here. They should just go. Seriously.
> 
> And you know I am not usually cantankerous but I have reached my limit. This is really pissing me off.



You have missed my point. It's not about defending Dimensions...it's about certain people can get away with posting pretty much anything because they are, I'll use the term "favorites" as opposed to say, someone like me, who doesn't post very often. I'm not pointing fingers to anyone in particular, just that I have seen it first hand and I know I'm not alone.


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## steve-aka (Feb 26, 2010)

SoVerySoft said:


> I really just don't understand why people who don't like it here are still here. They should just go. Seriously.



So, by this same argument does that mean when you're in a store or at a restaurant or wherever and you get accosted by lipophobic jerks making disparaging comments about your size you should just leave instead of putting up a fight? Even if said place has been welcoming and accommodating to you in the past? 

The fact that we're still here, debating this issue, is a testament to how much we love Dimensions! Because of this love, to tolerate letting things change for the worst, as we perceive it, is just not acceptable. Dimensions IS worth fighting for, no matter who the fight is with...this week.


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## TraciJo67 (Feb 26, 2010)

You know what? I'd have a lot of respect for any moderator, and for He Who Walks Behind The Rows for that matter, if as a group you'd just admit that moderation is anything but fair and even-handed. Just admit it. Really. Nobody is going to think any less of you. We're human. We cut slack - sometimes lots & lots of it - for those we like, and allow very little of it for those we don't. In keeping with the stated intent of this website, where FA's carry more weight (so to speak) than BBW/BHMs would, it's reasonable to assume that an outspoken female is going to be moderated more closely than would be an FA, all other considerations aside. 

It's Conrad's playground, we get that .. believe me, we reeeeealllly do. I think a lot of the ire and frustration would be immediately reduced if the mod squad would just admit that yes, things get overlooked. Sure, some of the moderators are a bit ... heavy-handed. And OK, some of the members here have pretty much a lifetime pass to be as blatantly obnoxious as they'd like to be. It's the insistence that all is fair and even-handed, all is well, all is well, all manner of things are well ... despite observable evidence to the contrary ... that doesn't go down well. Not even with the Kool-Aid.


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## Saoirse (Feb 26, 2010)

steve-aka said:


> The fact that we're still here, debating this issue, is a testament to how much we love Dimensions! Because of this love, to tolerate letting things change for the worst, as we perceive it, is just not acceptable. Dimensions IS worth fighting for, no matter who the fight is with...this week.



This. :bow:


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## SoVerySoft (Feb 26, 2010)

steve-aka said:


> So, by this same argument does that mean when you're in a store or at a restaurant or wherever and you get accosted by lipophobic jerks making disparaging comments about your size you should just leave instead of putting up a fight? Even if said place has been welcoming and accommodating to you in the past?
> 
> The fact that we're still here, debating this issue, is a testament to how much we love Dimensions! Because of this love, to tolerate letting things change for the worst, as we perceive it, is just not acceptable. Dimensions IS worth fighting for, no matter who the fight is with...this week.



I appreciate what you're saying, but why don't those folks message Conrad privately with their legitimate concerns instead of creating inflammatory threads that generate mob mentality?


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## Saoirse (Feb 26, 2010)

SoVerySoft said:


> I appreciate what you're saying, but why don't those folks message Conrad privately with their legitimate concerns instead of creating inflammatory threads that generate mob mentality?



open discussion is healthy.


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## SoVerySoft (Feb 26, 2010)

Saoirse said:


> open discussion is healthy.



I think we've proven that it is not always the case when done for show and for their own entertainment, as many people have been doing here. They stir the shit and then take it back to others to share and enjoy. 

It's hard to keep that from happening, so that's why it might be more effective (and that's what the goal is here, right? to effect change?) to address the person privately who can make a difference.


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## exile in thighville (Feb 26, 2010)

SoVerySoft said:


> I really just don't understand why people who don't like it here are still here. They should just go. Seriously.



i got a dell laptop that's now out of warranty. it had a problem. they tried to charge me $129 for a single phone call to walk me through fixing it. i'd like to get a new computer. but i can't afford a new one nor do i know the first thing about building one myself. now pretend it was dell i just quoted above.


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## Paquito (Feb 26, 2010)

Do you think we're all gonna get get banned for this?


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## steve-aka (Feb 26, 2010)

SoVerySoft said:


> I appreciate what you're saying, but why don't those folks message Conrad privately with their legitimate concerns instead of creating inflammatory threads that generate mob mentality?



Perhaps because the individuals who make up the mob feel powerless and ignored. Perhaps because those individuals see certain other individuals who day in and day out, year after year get away with copious amounts of snarky cajoling and general assholery yet they STILL remain members here. However, when another person - and this is admittedly from my viewpoint, but apparently others share my opinion as well - does things that are at the very least no worse than the previously mentioned people yet gets singled out and permanently banned for them, some level of distrust in the upper power structure is bound to follow. Now I'm not saying there has been an abuse of power here or overt favoritism, only the perception of such, and, in a way, when you're in the dark, as most of us are, to the inner workings of the ruling elite, that can be all it takes to lose confidence in them.

Thank you for your response!


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## Angel (Feb 26, 2010)

The following is what is seen before anyone can register for the Dimensions Forums. If the box directly before "I have read, and agree to abide by the Dimensions Forums rules" one can't register or post on the forums.

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/register.php

Dimensions Forums Rules

Forum Rules
In order to proceed, you must agree with the following rules: 


Forum Rules

Registration to the Dimensions forum is free! We do insist that you are 18 or of legal age wherever you are (whichever is older) and abide by the rules and policies detailed below. If you agree to the terms, please check the 'I agree' checkbox and press the 'Register' button below. If you would like to cancel the registration, click here to return to the forums index.

Although the administrators and moderators of Dimensions Forums will attempt to keep all objectionable messages off this forum, it is impossible for us to review all messages. All messages express the views of the author, and neither the owners of Dimensions Forums, nor Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd. (developers of vBulletin) will be held responsible for the content of any message.

By agreeing to these rules, you warrant that you are of legal age and will not post any messages that are obscene, vulgar, sexually-oriented, hateful, threatening, or otherwise violative of any laws.

The owners of Dimensions Forums reserve the right to remove, edit, move or close any thread for any reason.


I have read, and agree to abide by the Dimensions Forums rules.


Register



If there were no moderating this place would become a free-for-all. Some posters seem to think that it already is and that anything goes. We all know that there are moderators, that posts sometimes get edited or deleted, and that there is a system in place where those that continually break the rules face the possibility of being banned if they don't heed warnings. We're all adults. We know when we are pushing buttons and we know when we have overstepped lines. It's not that difficult to express an opinion (even a differing opinion) without setting yourself up for your posts to be edited, deleted, or to be the cause of receiving an infraction(s).


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## NancyGirl74 (Feb 26, 2010)

Saoirse said:


> open discussion is healthy.



Open discussion _is_ healthy but there comes a point when a topic just starts to become beating a dead horse. I don't know what went down with Mergirl so my comments are not about that subject. Its nun my biz anyway. 

What I _am_ talking about is the constant complaints. Sure, we all have them and it is nice to be able to vent them. However, there comes a point when we have to realize that we're just beating our heads against the wall because while some things might change most things won't. People say it over and over again..._If you don't like it here go elsewhere_. This "us vs. them" thing gets tiring after a while. Whether its Fatties vs. FAs, BHM vs. BBW, BBW vs. SSBBW, Liberal vs. Conservative, Posters vs. Mods, OR Fat Liberal BHM Posters vs. Conservative SSBBW FA Mods, someone is always standing against someone else here. Frankly, it's exhausting, like dealing with stubborn children who are holding their breath until they get what they want. Personally, I think Conrad and the Mods should let 'em hold their breath. They'll either pass out and carry on or they'll pass out and move on. Either way the whining about "me vs. them" will finally stop...Hopefully.


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## Sandie S-R (Feb 26, 2010)

Saoirse said:


> Not 100%, only mods can know that... but I know mergirl for the most part was kind, fun and engaging.



I effing *GUARANTEE* you that people do *NOT* get shown the door for being kind, fun and engaging. 

*NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN BANNED FOR BEING A SWEETHEART.* 

Seriously.

People are banned for ranting and raving that this place should be something that they want it to be rather than what it is. People get banned for being disrespectful of the rules here and stomping all over them. People get banned here for leveling personal attacks at others here that they don't like. People get banned here for repeatedly doing all of the above even after having been warned ad nauseam to knock it off. 

And this mass "stealth" bannings crap is just that. C.R.A.P. 2 people (count it folks TWO) people were "shown the door". That is all. Not thousands, not hundreds, not even in tens. 

*TWO - simply 2. 

That's it. 

2. 
*

So get over the huge conspiracy nonsense that you all are going to be hit over the head and dragged off to ban land in handcuffs. 

The management is pretty forgiving and pretty lenient here. Conrad generally gives people a lot of chances before being permanently banned. Point in fact, TraciJo is still a member here.


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## CrankySpice (Feb 26, 2010)

ChubbyBubbles said:


> It's quite simple...as long as you conform and kiss ass, you won't be banned. Enough said.



So what do you define as ass-kissing? Playing by the rules? Having fun without feeling the need to monitor what anyone else considers fun? Wanting a place to be the thriving, fun, positive place you know it used to be and could still be? 

Which of those is ass-kissing?


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## exile in thighville (Feb 26, 2010)

Sandie S-R said:


> Point in fact, TraciJo is still a member here.



you know i'm spoken for, you scoundrel. stop sniffing round my door.


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## Ernest Nagel (Feb 26, 2010)

I'm just curious why my earlier post in this thread was deleted? No big deal but I was just trying to make a point that all entities change and evolve over time. We can either be accountable for proactively shaping the direction of that change, piss and moan about how bad things are or move the f>ck on. 

There are a lot of people I miss who simply chose to take their traffic elsewhere for whatever reason. I wish we spent more time considering those who've been _self_ banned rather than _stealth_ banned. Of course there's no one to blame for their departure except perhaps ourselves and where's the fun in that?


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## Angel (Feb 26, 2010)

NancyGirl74 said:


> Frankly, it's exhausting, like dealing with stubborn children who are holding their breath until they get what they want. Personally, I think Conrad and the Mods should let 'em hold their breath. They'll either pass out and carry on or they'll pass out and move on.




I suggest that a new forum be created. There will be only two continuing threads. No new threads. 

Thread #1
Complaints about Dimensions forums and how the forums are ran. Complaints about *unfair* treatment. (Posts _must_ be substantiated with facts, proof, and links.)


Thread #2
Demands! I demand to know why! I demand an explanation! I demand that things be *my* way! I demand! I demand! I demand! etc.




Special Rules for this forum: Limit 5 Complaint posts. Limit 5 Demands posts. If you exceed either Limit you get locked into this new Forum and cannot post in any other Forum at Dimensions, ever!


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## Sandie S-R (Feb 26, 2010)

Ernest Nagel said:


> I'm just curious why my earlier post in this thread was deleted? No big deal but I was just trying to make a point that all entities change and evolve over time. We can either be accountable for proactively shaping the direction of that change, piss and moan about how bad things are or move the f>ck on.
> 
> There are a lot of people I miss who simply chose to take their traffic elsewhere for whatever reason. I wish we spent more time considering those who've been _self_ banned rather than _stealth_ banned. Of course there's no one to blame for their departure except perhaps ourselves and where's the fun in that?



It was removed because it was off-topic and inappropriate. It was the type of post that starts a massive hijack of nonsensical posts which ends in lol cats pictures. We've had enough of that here as it is. 

Now back to your regularly scheduled discussion.


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## Sandie S-R (Feb 26, 2010)

Angel said:


> I suggest that a new forum be created. There will be only two continuing threads. No new threads.
> 
> Thread #1
> Complaints about Dimensions forums and how the forums are ran. Complaints about *unfair* treatment. (Posts _must_ be substantiated with facts, proof, and links.)
> ...




Holy crap, that is effing brilliiant!! I'm taking this to Conrad. 

Seriously. 

:bow:


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## LillyBBBW (Feb 26, 2010)

steve-aka said:


> So, by this same argument does that mean when you're in a store or at a restaurant or wherever and you get accosted by lipophobic jerks making disparaging comments about your size you should just leave instead of putting up a fight? Even if said place has been welcoming and accommodating to you in the past?
> 
> The fact that we're still here, debating this issue, is a testament to how much we love Dimensions! Because of this love, to tolerate letting things change for the worst, as we perceive it, is just not acceptable. Dimensions IS worth fighting for, no matter who the fight is with...this week.



I think so Steve. I may be wrong but if a guy calls you a name in a restaurant, it's irritating and rude but not illegal. If you put up a fight, that is illegal. Sputtering around outside about how the management of the restuarant is showing favoritism, bla bla fishcakes, misses the bigger issue. YOU are a lawbreaker, the other guy is an obnoxious fool. It's shitty but it's true.


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## Blackjack (Feb 26, 2010)

Sandie S-R said:


> It was removed because it was off-topic and inappropriate. It was the type of post that starts a massive hijack of nonsensical posts which ends in lol cats pictures. *We've had enough of that here as it is.*



For this statement I want to have your children.


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## kayrae (Feb 26, 2010)

does that mean star trek gifs will be no more?


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## exile in thighville (Feb 26, 2010)

yawnananananananana


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## superodalisque (Feb 26, 2010)

i don't come here as much any more because honestly i'm getting bored with the lack of positive stuff in general and the lack of constructive activity and personal honesty for the most part. anytime anyone brings up anything that could build something, connect people and form commonality it becomes a dumb political battle that retards everything. the real problem dims has right now is that it _is_ getting to be a bit retarded. if we aren't careful its going to start to look like the other sex interest sites with nothing special to hold people here except the same old tired empty headed drives that have been around forever. having more than that is what made dims dynamic and special for a long time. already the activity on the boards is pointing that way. why not just go ahead and make this a place to critique paysites and see freebee pix. thats pretty much what it will become if discourse dumbed down to a large degree. hey, there is a lot of money to be made in that but then at some point i guess maybe FAs would get tired of talking to people who'd only deal with them if they get paid. and there are other places that are more explicit that they can view.

dims won't evolve if people don't get over trying so hard to be right that they can't be decent to each other and supportive when its no skin off their teeth. it won't evolve if people try to continually to live in a past that doesn't exist anymore. the naive days when people thought that fat people could be divorced from SA for the sexual interest of a few is over. we just aren't that unexposed ignorant or desperate anymore. so since the cattle refuse to be hearded into the box canyon the take won't be as good anymore. people want thier freedom and they do what it takes to get it. and whats more they aren't going to leave the young tender and naive to be taken advantage of unopposed.


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## Saoirse (Feb 26, 2010)

Its nice to see that genuine questions and concerns are shrugged off or laughed at.


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## BLUEeyedBanshee (Feb 26, 2010)

I'm sorry, I scrolled back through the thread Saoirse and I don't see, what questions have been shrugged off or laughed at?


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## Saoirse (Feb 26, 2010)

steve-aka said:


> Case in point: I was just crafting a response to GoldenDelicious's "should I stay or should I go?" thread about mergirl's recent banning and when I went to post it, the thread had been closed. Before it was closed there was a great post by TraciJo67 which questioned the reasoning behind mer's ban, but now it has been removed. Why? It wasn't overly negative, it merely questioned whether there may have been personal reasons behind the ban. Are respectful questions like these, that just so happen to call out certain higher ups, verboten here?



how 'bout them questions?


----------



## Ernest Nagel (Feb 26, 2010)

Sandie S-R said:


> It was removed because it was off-topic and inappropriate. It was the type of post that starts a massive hijack of nonsensical posts which ends in lol cats pictures. We've had enough of that here as it is.
> 
> Now back to your regularly scheduled discussion.



OK, well then, I somehow missed that memo. :doh: If off topic and inappropriate is no longer tolerated you're gonna need a LOT more mods around here, jmo. In the spirit of good Dimizenship I'll just ban myself until I see how _that's_ gonna be enforced. On my behalf I don't think I've ever posted an LOL cat and I was actually trying to make a point. :goodbye:


----------



## BLUEeyedBanshee (Feb 26, 2010)

Saoirse said:


> how 'bout them questions?



Isn't there a message in the thread mentioned, containing a rather detailed explanation from the webmaster?

As for why some messages were deleted, I'd assume the webmaster felt they were unnecessary and deleted them, and then locked the thread that really served no purpose after his explanation was given.


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## Saoirse (Feb 26, 2010)

BLUEeyedBanshee said:


> Isn't there a message in the thread mentioned, containing a rather detailed explanation from the webmaster?
> 
> As for why some messages were deleted, I'd assume the webmaster felt they were unnecessary and deleted them, and then locked the thread that really served no purpose after his explanation was given.



Did you get to read the WHOLE thread before it was mangled and locked? Cause none of the posts were unnecessary.


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## BLUEeyedBanshee (Feb 26, 2010)

And that is your opinion that they were unnecessary, and you are entitled to that opinion.


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## Saoirse (Feb 26, 2010)

BLUEeyedBanshee said:


> And that is your opinion that they were unnecessary, and you are entitled to that opinion.



im taking that as a no.


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## BLUEeyedBanshee (Feb 26, 2010)

You may take that as whatever you wish to take it as. 

If he felt that the other posts were unnecessary that that is what he felt and they were trimmed away. He personally addressed the OP. I don't really see why there is such a problem.

And I will speak for myself as a moderator, I don't see any heavy handed censorship going on. I really don't. I don't understand the source of the current paranoia at all.


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## superodalisque (Feb 26, 2010)

the biggest overall problem is that people are so busy saying no. what is it that we have to say yes to? is there anything?


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## bigsexy920 (Feb 26, 2010)

OMG when will it end - Really, like Randi said if you don't like it you don't have to stay - Its not a dell -its a web site - you are not stuck using us cause you have nothing else. Go be miserable someplace else. Which I'm sure you already are.


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## Saoirse (Feb 26, 2010)

I dont see what so hard to understand. 

People are still here because they have friends here. They've shared their lives on here. They've helped build this community. Telling them to just up and leave when they question the direction of their internet home is disrespectful, rude and arrogant.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Feb 26, 2010)

Sandie S-R said:


> The management is pretty forgiving and pretty lenient here. Conrad generally gives people a lot of chances before being permanently banned. Point in fact, TraciJo is still a member here.


 
Point in fact, Sandie - many of the infractions that I've received have been from you, and in at least two instances, they were issued for very dubious reasons. And I know damn well that not every moderator would have agreed with the action that you took. Point in fact, Sandie -- not everyone -- not even every moderator -- thinks that I'm the problem. I expressed my astonishment that I haven't already been banned because I do know that I'm very unpopular with -- well, you, for starters. And people who are very unpopular with the moderators at Dims generally have a limited shelf life, so to speak. 


And, for evidence that some people are golden no matter how obnoxiously they behave -- I need only look at Dan's response! Howdy, Dan! How's that mandatory ignore thing working for you? It would have worked great for me, had you, y'know, actually IGNORED me ;o)


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## bigsexy920 (Feb 26, 2010)

Then quit bitch bagging and enjoy your friends. I mean really if all people are going to do is bitch cause they dont get their way or dont agree with the rules how can you enjoy your friendships and community. 

Its like school you dont follow the rules that are set up, you get detention, you continue to violate those rules you are suspended, and it still continues you are kicked out of school ..IT's SIMPLE 

Dosent matter if you like them or agree with them or how they are enforced it is what it is. 


Saoirse said:


> I dont see what so hard to understand.
> 
> People are still here because they have friends here. They've shared their lives on here. They've helped build this community. Telling them to just up and leave when they question the direction of their internet home is disrespectful, rude and arrogant.


----------



## Sandie S-R (Feb 26, 2010)

TraciJo67 said:


> Point in fact, Sandie - many of the infractions that I've received have been from you, and in at least two instances, they were issued for very dubious reasons. And I know damn well that not every moderator would have agreed with the action that you took. Point in fact, Sandie -- not everyone -- not even every moderator -- thinks that I'm the problem. I expressed my astonishment that I haven't already been banned because I do know that I'm very unpopular with -- well, you, for starters. And people who are very unpopular with the moderators at Dims generally have a limited shelf life, so to speak.
> 
> 
> And, for evidence that some people are golden no matter how obnoxiously they behave -- I need only look at Dan's response! Howdy, Dan! How's that mandatory ignore thing working for you? It would have worked great for me, had you, y'know, actually IGNORED me ;o)



You know, Traci, the funny thing is, I bet had you and I met outside of Dims, we'd probably be friends. I've even told you, recently in fact, in PM that I like you personally. I think you're funny. I think you are quite intelligent and personable (most of the time). 

What I don't like, is that you blatantly bully people here who don't agree with you or think like you. You blatantly disrespect this site, it's premise and it's rules, and are hell bent on continuing your tirade against Dimensions and Conrad in any way possible. 

If you followed the rules here and were respectful of other's opinions (and their rights to them) whether you agree with them or not, and quit bullying people, you and I would have absolutely no problem with each other. 

Seriously.


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## NancyGirl74 (Feb 26, 2010)

bigsexy920 said:


> Then quit bitch bagging and enjoy your friends. I mean really if all people are going to do is bitch cause they dont get their way or dont agree with the rules how can you enjoy your friendships and community.
> 
> Its like school you dont follow the rules that are set up, you get detention, you continue to violate those rules you are suspended, and it still continues you are kicked out of school ..IT's SIMPLE
> 
> Dosent matter if you like them or agree with them or how they are enforced it is what it is.





I love it when you get feisty!


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## Angel (Feb 26, 2010)

Saoirse said:


> I dont see what so hard to understand.
> 
> People are still here because they have friends here. They've shared their lives on here. They've helped build this community. Telling them to just up and leave when they question the direction of their internet home is disrespectful, rude and arrogant.



Many of us consider this our "internet home". The truth, though, is that we are just visitors and posters on a website. We contribute but we don't own anything here except our opinions. We're not entitled to anything except , maybe, that we will be treated with respect *if* we show respect to others. 

_That_ being said, the direction of this site, whether we agree with it or not, has been stated. We can either continue to contribute in a positive manner (in whatever way we can or choose to do) or we can choose to openly disrupt, openly question every move, and openly stir things up every time we or one of our friends gets in trouble. (edited to add: or we can choose to visit and read but not participate or post)


I'm sure that each of the Mods consider this their "internet home", too. They wouldn't be putting in the hours, time, or effort if they felt otherwise. Have you ever stopped to consider what it's like putting in 40 or 50 hours or more a week for ..... no monetary compensation whatsoever, and having the same few posters continually be "disrespectful, rude, and arrogant" towards them (and fellow posters); and have those same few posters questioning their (the Mods') every move?


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## mossystate (Feb 26, 2010)

There is no room for any truths or honesty...no matter the ' side '... in this thread.


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## disconnectedsmile (Feb 26, 2010)

free2beme04 said:


> Do you think we're all gonna get get banned for this?



probably not, but this thread will be removed shortly. or at least half the posts in it.
i'm screen-capping this one to prove it, at one time, existed.


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## kayrae (Feb 26, 2010)

To be fair, I love open communication. And people who aren't afraid to express their own opinions. Because I'm not a child. And if I'm acting up (yeah, yeah... my behavior lately has been childish), I don't really mind getting bitch-slapped for it. And sometimes my communication style devolves into needling and needling people until I get my questions answered. So this is my way of saying that I'm sad that certain people aren't here anymore. I really am. 

And hey, cool kids, I've never gotten an infraction ever, so nyah


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## supersoup (Feb 26, 2010)

Saoirse said:


> I dont see what so hard to understand.
> 
> People are still here because they have friends here. They've shared their lives on here. They've helped build this community. Telling them to just up and leave when they question the direction of their internet home is disrespectful, rude and arrogant.



this is me. my friends are here, my family is here, my boyfriend and i met because of this board. i totally understand questioning a place that is home to them on the internet, BUT, when the person who owns the privately owned place you've built your nest in, and his self appointed team of moderators, informs you that you've crossed the line as far as the rules of said home...there's no gray area there. you follow the rules, or you don't and accept the consequences with it. you go the direction the ownership wants it, or you don't. if conrad decided tomorrow that you have to submit a photo of yourself completely nude, face buried in a cake, waving an FA flag, in order to post on this board, i'd have to either submit the photo, or post elsewhere. yeah, it would suck, and i'd be really angry, but i don't own the board. and yeah, i would think it was completely asinine, and totally fucking inappropriate, but i would either abide by the rules, or i'd leave. i just don't understand the vitriol that comes along with all these questions. so many people are mad and wondering why they can't have an adult discussion about these issues, but most everything is peppered with such distaste and disgust and just plain nastiness, that of course it's moderated and weeded out, BECAUSE THE ENTIRE BOARD HAS PATCHES OF IT. it needs to end, it really does. it's disgusting.


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## LillyBBBW (Feb 26, 2010)

kayrae said:


> To be fair, I love open communication. And people who aren't afraid to express their own opinions. Because I'm not a child. And if I'm acting up (yeah, yeah... my behavior lately has been childish), I don't really mind getting bitch-slapped for it. And sometimes my communication style devolves into needling and needling people until I get my questions answered. So this is my way of saying that I'm sad that certain people aren't here anymore. I really am.
> 
> And hey, cool kids, I've never gotten an infraction ever, so nyah



That's because you've never called someone a bitch assed ho. That will get you closer to infraction valhalla.


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## bigsexy920 (Feb 26, 2010)

I like your posts - the ones that Ive read. I dont read every single post. I think its important to communicate - but some people seem to be on a mission. 



kayrae said:


> To be fair, I love open communication. And people who aren't afraid to express their own opinions. Because I'm not a child. And if I'm acting up (yeah, yeah... my behavior lately has been childish), I don't really mind getting bitch-slapped for it. And sometimes my communication style devolves into needling and needling people until I get my questions answered. So this is my way of saying that I'm sad that certain people aren't here anymore. I really am.
> 
> And hey, cool kids, I've never gotten an infraction ever, so nyah


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## NancyGirl74 (Feb 26, 2010)

kayrae said:


> And hey, cool kids, I've never gotten an infraction ever, so nyah



Me too! Now I think I'll head over to the "I don't feel like I belong here" thread.


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## exile in thighville (Feb 26, 2010)

i think the dell analogy sufficed


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## NancyGirl74 (Feb 26, 2010)

supersoup said:


> *snip* -- if conrad decided tomorrow that you have to submit a photo of yourself completely nude, face buried in a cake, waving an FA flag --*snip*.




I think a _Post A Pic Of Yourself Naked With Your Face In Cake_ thread should be started just for shits and giggles. Naturally, it should be voluntary and not mandatory...but a good idea is still a good idea.


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## tonynyc (Feb 26, 2010)

NancyGirl74 said:


> Me too! Now I think I'll head over to the "I don't feel like I belong here" thread.



*That only applies if you're an Eagles fan.*


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## NancyGirl74 (Feb 26, 2010)

exile in thighville said:


> i think the dell analogy sufficed



Can we start banning people for constant snarkiness?



tonynyc said:


> *That only applies if you're an Eagles fan.*



LMAO!


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## Mathias (Feb 26, 2010)

supersoup said:


> this is me. my friends are here, my family is here, my boyfriend and i met because of this board. i totally understand questioning a place that is home to them on the internet, BUT, when the person who owns the privately owned place you've built your nest in, and his self appointed team of moderators, informs you that you've crossed the line as far as the rules of said home...there's no gray area there. you follow the rules, or you don't and accept the consequences with it. you go the direction the ownership wants it, or you don't. if conrad decided tomorrow that you have to submit a photo of yourself completely nude, face buried in a cake, waving an FA flag, in order to post on this board, i'd have to either submit the photo, or post elsewhere. yeah, it would suck, and i'd be really angry, but i don't own the board. and yeah, i would think it was completely asinine, and totally fucking inappropriate, but i would either abide by the rules, or i'd leave. i just don't understand the vitriol that comes along with all these questions. so many people are mad and wondering why they can't have an adult discussion about these issues, but most everything is peppered with such distaste and disgust and just plain nastiness, that of course it's moderated and weeded out, BECAUSE THE ENTIRE BOARD HAS PATCHES OF IT. it needs to end, it really does. it's disgusting.



QFT. It's like all of this bullshit is starting to become normal it's happened so much.


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## exile in thighville (Feb 26, 2010)

NancyGirl74 said:


> Can we start banning people for constant snarkiness?



sure i'll set up a conference call with north korea


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## Wagimawr (Feb 26, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> the biggest overall problem is that people are so busy saying no. what is it that we have to say yes to? is there anything?


Is fat sexy?

I think that's something just about everybody here can say yes to.


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## CleverBomb (Feb 26, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> That's because you've never called someone a bitch assed ho. That will get you closer to infraction valhalla.


Why would one call a person a bitch assed ho? After all, one just doens't use the epithet, "bitch assed ho" in normal conversation. 
Unless the person being called a "bitch assed ho" was in fact a bitch assed ho. In that case, it might well be accurate to refer to them as a "bitch assed ho" though it still would be impolite and outside the bounds of polite discussion to use "bitch assed ho" to describe the aforementioned bitch ass ho in a public setting.
Now if one were to use the phrase "bitch assed ho" in a context where sarcasm or irony inverted it, or to refer to a friend as a "bitch assed ho" in jest and said friend was amenable to being called a "bitch assed ho," well, that might be tolerable.

It goes without saying that analysis and discussion of the use of the phrase "bitch assed ho" is acceptable. In fact, I think there hasn't been any prior investigation of the appropriateness of the use of "bitch assed ho" in this forum. 

-Rusty


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## kayrae (Feb 26, 2010)

exile in bannedville you're next


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## Paquito (Feb 26, 2010)

Maybe I'll buy some KayRaeBanneds in the Dims Market Place.


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## mossystate (Feb 26, 2010)

SoVerySoft said:


> I appreciate what you're saying, but why don't those folks message Conrad privately with their legitimate concerns instead of creating inflammatory threads that generate mob mentality?



You assume people have not done this. And, I do not think that any human being needs to do what someone has asked of them, but I know that some of the responses/answers left me more confused than anything. Sometimes, things have to be ' taken to the streets '. I am not even talking about the more ' colorful ' expressions of personality out here. See, some people think there has never been any confusing messages on this site. To this day, I think that much of the rancor could have been calmed, if only some courageous conversations had happened. They didn't...life of course goes on...but it doesn't change the facts that there are some easy targets when the conversation moves to who and what causes problems. Becomes very simplistic. That can happen from more than one camp.


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## SoVerySoft (Feb 26, 2010)

mossystate said:


> You assume people have not done this. And, I do not think that any human being needs to do what someone has asked of them, but I know that some of the responses/answers left me more confused than anything. Sometimes, things have to be ' taken to the streets '. I am not even talking about the more ' colorful ' expressions of personality out here. See, some people think there has never been any confusing messages on this site. To this day, I think that much of the rancor could have been calmed, if only some courageous conversations had happened. They didn't...life of course goes on...but it doesn't change the facts that there are some easy targets when the conversation moves to who and what causes problems. Becomes very simplistic. That can happen from more than one camp.



M, I am not saying that PMing Conrad would always get people the answers or changes they seek, but the odds are better than posting it here.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Feb 26, 2010)

Sandie S-R said:


> You know, Traci, the funny thing is, I bet had you and I met outside of Dims, we'd probably be friends. I've even told you, recently in fact, in PM that I like you personally. I think you're funny. I think you are quite intelligent and personable (most of the time).
> 
> What I don't like, is that you blatantly bully people here who don't agree with you or think like you. You blatantly disrespect this site, it's premise and it's rules, and are hell bent on continuing your tirade against Dimensions and Conrad in any way possible.
> 
> ...


 
Wow, Sandie. I feel almost not stabbed in the back with the ghost of past infractions. Kind of warm 'n cozy on the inside (if a bit overcrispy on the outside) because, clearly, you're not attempting to pigeon-hole me as a bullying troublemaker and setting yourself above it all by reassuring me that you like me, you really, really wanna like me. 

So how about we meet up at the Olive Garden? We can get some nice young slip of a thing to snap photos of us slurping up the noodles ala 'Lady and The Tramp'. I am, of course, the Tramp. The role of young slip is up for grabs, though I do have a few suggestions


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## mossystate (Feb 26, 2010)

I know I was vague, but trust me when I say that sometimes one really has to take it to the streets. lol


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## SoVerySoft (Feb 26, 2010)

mossystate said:


> I know I was vague, but trust me when I say that sometimes one really has to take it to the streets. lol



And apparently underground, as well.

oh, yes...I should also "lol"


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## mossystate (Feb 26, 2010)

SoVerySoft said:


> And apparently underground, as well.
> 
> oh, yes...I should also "lol"



The groups that were started to talk about Dims? They are not all that underground. Anybody can join them. It's a pretty natural outcome. To be heard is a normal human reaction. Oh, and my ' lol ' was pretty much just that....errr?


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## stan_der_man (Feb 26, 2010)

In the absence of clear guidance from The Chief, perhaps we should start a thread called "_What would Conrad do_", bow our heads, put our hands together and offer him our PMs.







Those who do not heed His word shall simply face eternal bannation.


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## SoVerySoft (Feb 26, 2010)

I am not a mod of this board, so I won't delete your post. But while it still stands, I want to say that I love how you give us a perfect example of the disrespect that pushes us to the limit. Thank you, Stan.


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## steve-aka (Feb 26, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> I think so Steve. I may be wrong but if a guy calls you a name in a restaurant, it's irritating and rude but not illegal. If you put up a fight, that is illegal. Sputtering around outside about how the management of the restuarant is showing favoritism, bla bla fishcakes, misses the bigger issue. YOU are a lawbreaker, the other guy is an obnoxious fool. It's shitty but it's true.



By fight I didn't mean fisticuffs, I meant defending yourself verbally. Speaking up to the bully and letting him know he's being an intolerant bigot. It may be legal for the dude to be irritating and rude but that doesn't make it right either.


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## Weeze (Feb 26, 2010)

Alright, let's stop beating around the bush.

I know why Katorade and Mergirl were banned. I KNOW EXACTLY WHY.




oh, you wanna know? OK.

They did something, whatever it is... is actually none of your business... but they did something that the SITE MODS or SITE CREATOR did NOT LIKE. Therefore, they were removed. You don't like something someone's doing, you don't let it keep happening, if you have that power.

End of story. End of discussion. The commies aren't hanging out in the fucking bushes. Come. On.


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## kayrae (Feb 26, 2010)

I'm banning you too! Shut your face!!!


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## Saoirse (Feb 26, 2010)

krismiss said:


> Alright, let's stop beating around the bush.
> 
> I know why Katorade and Mergirl were banned. I KNOW EXACTLY WHY.
> 
> ...



sooo... you dont really know.


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## Wagimawr (Feb 27, 2010)

If you believe the hype, they don't even know.

Eh, they weren't showin their bodies anyway.


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## Weeze (Feb 27, 2010)

Saoirse said:


> sooo... you dont really know.



Ummmmmm, what did I do to you? C'mon, I like lisa and kate, but is anyone ever completely innocent when something happens? Think. Please. This people being banned for NO FUCKING REASON thing is ridiculous.


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## Sandie S-R (Feb 27, 2010)

stan_der_man said:


> In the absence of clear guidance from The Chief, perhaps we should start a thread called "_What would Conrad do_", bow our heads, put our hands together and offer him our PMs.
> 
> 
> 
> ...





SoVerySoft said:


> I am not a mod of this board, so I won't delete your post. But while it still stands, I want to say that I love how you give us a perfect example of the disrespect that pushes us to the limit. Thank you, Stan.




Ditto, Stan. You've hit a new low. 

Thanks for sharing.


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## stan_der_man (Feb 27, 2010)

SoVerySoft said:


> I am not a mod of this board, so I won't delete your post. But while it still stands, I want to say that I love how you give us a perfect example of the disrespect that pushes us to the limit. Thank you, Stan.





Sandie S-R said:


> Ditto, Stan. You've hit a new low.
> 
> Thanks for sharing.



You're both welcome.  Although you do see the ridiculousness of this situation all the way around, don't you? So a... ehem... not even an infraction or anything for this post?


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## Wagimawr (Feb 27, 2010)

You're infracted in my heart, Stan.


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## Sandie S-R (Feb 27, 2010)

stan_der_man said:


> You're both welcome.  Although you do see the ridiculousness of this situation all the way around, don't you? So a... ehem... not even an infraction or anything for this post?



Not the least bit funny, Stan. Not at all. 

Nope Stan. Leavin' this one up to Conrad. 

I'm done with the bull shit.


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## steely (Feb 27, 2010)

bigsexy920 said:


> Then quit bitch bagging and enjoy your friends. I mean really if all people are going to do is bitch cause they dont get their way or dont agree with the rules how can you enjoy your friendships and community.
> 
> Its like school you dont follow the rules that are set up, you get detention, you continue to violate those rules you are suspended, and it still continues you are kicked out of school ..IT's SIMPLE
> 
> Dosent matter if you like them or agree with them or how they are enforced it is what it is.



Hard to "enjoy your friends" when they disappear overnight.


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## Redhotphatgirl (Feb 27, 2010)

I am a long time dimmer and I don't usually come out in the sunshine and show my face. Some of you know me in reality some of you don't. 

I have some issues with moderation here at Dims but in my opinion it is home. It is the holy halls of mystery I stepped thru when I first started reading paper dimensions mags. Where i learned i can be anything i want even if i dont meet normalicy standards in the USA.

I have allot of fat people i can call my friends here.

Bottom line is you are guests here. Either be decent to each other and act like guests the kind you would like in your own home or go the hell away to your own home where if you want you can throw garbage on the floor and shit on the ceiling.


Some times I get moderated and I feel snarky but at times I feel snarky cause some of you look down on me and mine for what I chose to do with my own bbw ism and fa beliefs.

Any of you who ever really spent time talking to me know I can show my large ass with the best of them. But pissin and moaning and bitching and griping get you no where.

There were good points in this thread. Really the Mods get tired of hearing it. Shit I get tired of some of you refering to conrad as a demi god

And stan that stuff was just really really disrespectful and i have always felt respect for you .


I have always found Conrad had an open door policy for discussing of issues by hitting his email. But you guys also have to remember even as large as it is This board is not his life. Some one has to be in charge and he is it.

So if you do not like the rules of his sand box then get out of it. And stay out. Personally for me and mine I am staying. Even if i feel welcome on few boards anymore.


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## bigsexy920 (Feb 27, 2010)

Again, they still exist in life - there are other sites that they are a part of everyone knows that - you can still enjoy them. 
If you are really friends- a web site wont make or break that. 



steely said:


> Hard to "enjoy your friends" when they disappear overnight.


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## Tooz (Feb 27, 2010)

I personally think it's stupid to ban two people who actually contribute to the boards like they did when the numbers of actual contributors is dwindling as it is...


JUST MY TWO CENTS.


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## Saoirse (Feb 27, 2010)

Tooz said:


> I personally think it's stupid to ban two people who actually contribute to the boards like they did when the numbers of actual contributors is dwindling as it is...
> 
> 
> JUST MY TWO CENTS.



thats some shit i can get behind. :bow:


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## Saoirse (Feb 27, 2010)

krismiss said:


> Ummmmmm, what did I do to you? C'mon, I like lisa and kate, but is anyone ever completely innocent when something happens? Think. Please. This people being banned for NO FUCKING REASON thing is ridiculous.



you didnt do anything to me. i just disagreed with your post. is that alright?


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## Ruby Ripples (Feb 27, 2010)

stan_der_man said:


> You're both welcome.  Although you do see the ridiculousness of this situation all the way around, don't you? So a... ehem... not even an infraction or anything for this post?



The utter irony of your post made me gasp. Given that you youself made THE single most awful, devastatingly nasty, vicious, tantrumous rule-breaking post that I have EVER seen on Dimensions. Im sure you know the one, when you realised that no amount of your shouting would get you access to the ssbbw-only forum, so you attacked us all as a group, and our "issues".

You not only were not banned or suspended, you actually had some people sucking up to you after it. 

That post and the no suspension after it, has almost killed Dimensions for me. 

I have nothing else to add to this thread at the moment, but I just could NOT let your post with the Jesus picture go, as in your own case it is SO far from the truth.


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## exile in thighville (Feb 27, 2010)

it took me a little while to appreciate stan

ms. ripples on the other hand i used to think was awesome


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## exile in thighville (Feb 27, 2010)

anyway dimensions' biggest downturn of the last 365 days has more to do with the War on Humor than any invisible bullshit


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## TallFatSue (Feb 27, 2010)

This topic reminds me of a problem employee we described as "The Perennially Aggrieved" or "The Perennially Outraged". Less charitably we also called him "Richard Head". "RH" loved to needle everyone and keep them off balance, or take offense where none was intended, but he never came right out and did anything that we could discipline him for more than slap on the wrist. In other words, "RH" was a disruptive element who knew how to play the system, push everyone's buttons and watch them fight, but he never completely crossed the line. His work was adequate, so we couldn't fault him there. Then 4 or 5 years ago during a year-end meeting he tossed out casual insinuations as usual. After one comment I politely but firmly asked him to explain himself, and I simply would not let it go. All he did was backpedal and dig himself in deeper and deeper. Finally he yelled at everyone in the conference room, stood up, shouted "I quit!", marched out the door and drove away. Immediately I adjourned our meeting and told our personnel manager and our attorney.

The next morning "RH" came to work as if nothing had happened, and personnel informed him that his resignation was legal and accepted. The jerk had half an hour to clean out his office, turn in his keycards, and be escorted out of the building. Someone who had no idea what had happened asked "RH" where he was going. "That fat-ass bitch Sue just fired me!" Our personnel manager corrected him: "No, she didn't. You quit in front of 6 witnesses, and we accepted your resignation." *

That was the most gut-wrenching action I've ever taken, and given the size of my gut I know what I'm talking about. After "RH" left, we convened a quick staff meeting to explain the "RH" had left the company, and the news actually drew applause. It happened to be a few days before Christmas that year, so someone mentioned it was a great gift. Wow. I knew "RH" had inspired resentment around the company, but I hadn't realized how deep it was. Some of us were afraid "RH" might come back with guns blazing, but that never happened. We later learned that "RH" tried to sue us, but attorneys said he didn't have a case. The problem with disruptive elements like him is that they complain that the world is out to get them, and are oblivious that the real problem is them. 

PS. * After all these years, I just realized that our personnel manager did not dispute the comment about my being a fat-ass bitch. :doh: I might need to have a word with him when I'm back in the office. Naaaahhhh....


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## Sandie S-R (Feb 27, 2010)

steely said:


> Hard to "enjoy your friends" when they disappear overnight.



As mentioned above *ONLY TWO (2)* people were removed for bad behavior (bullying others, disrespecting the rules of posting, etc., recently). 


Here would be my suggestion. It appears to me that you have made a lot more friends here than just the 2 people who were removed. So enjoy all the other friends you have here.

If you really miss the other 2 people that much - you can find them easily on facebook - they are very active there.


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## Paquito (Feb 27, 2010)

When did the Main Board become more of a war zone than Hyde Park?

This is a bad sign people.


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## superodalisque (Feb 27, 2010)

Wagimawr said:


> Is fat sexy?
> 
> I think that's something just about everybody here can say yes to.



a big resounding YES! hehe

and its also beautiful, sweet , intelligent, worthy of respect and many other things i think we'd agree on too


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## exile in thighville (Feb 27, 2010)

sexy is subjective, tolerating others' views of it is what we can agree on

OR CAN WE


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## Wagimawr (Feb 27, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> intelligent, worthy of respect


Sorry, can't hear you over the fapping.

But I agree.


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## superodalisque (Feb 27, 2010)

exile in thighville said:


> anyway dimensions' biggest downturn of the last 365 days has more to do with the War on Humor than any invisible bullshit



i think thats pretty much true. it happened in chat too. it went from full happy and robust to nearly empty when people decided to come and lurk like vultures just to make sport of other people and to make them feel bad about themselves their life decisions and their points of view. sometimes its fine to be serious but its not a cardinal sin to just have fun either. it is okay to play. and its definitely not ok to set yourself up as the final judge of other humans beings and make assertions regarding things you don't have any way to know the full story about.

on the other hand IMO it also went down because there was no new naive innocent meat anymore. people started protecting talking to each other and stopped being pitted against each other as much. there began to be true friends and people stopped keeping secrets and whitewashing things that were done when they were new by folks who came there specifically to take advantage of that . so there wasn't a lot of need for those folks to show up anymore since they didn't have their cloak of secrecy that came from the embarrassment of the other people who felt ashamed about being vulnerable to that. there were a lot of things at work. there had been genuine meaness in a lot of ways on all sides of the chat issue. it had to come to a head eventually. secrets were not going to be kept forever and people were not going to be able to use those occurrances as a platform to abuse everyone either. if the shame and the lies i have spoken of had never gotten to that point in the first place none of it would have ever happened.

right now i think there are growing pains because i think the BBW community as a whole is having to take an honesty pill that its refused to swallow or a long time. everyone has to take their medicine eventually. sometimes there is a price to be paid for taking what looks like the easy way out. nothing is easy. secrets don't always stay secret. maybe its time to just get on with it so that people can trust each other again. the bad thing about not being open or at least appearing to tell the truth is that it takes a long time to build trust again. the longer people wait the longer its going to take to get back to a place where people can trust each other enough to actually relax again. secrets don't help a sense of trust. even the appearance of it should be avoided. because its inevitable that what people don't know and imagine is going to be much much worse than the reality. if everything is done honestly its natural for anyone to think "what are you hiding then?".


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## Ernest Nagel (Feb 27, 2010)

Sandie S-R said:


> It was removed because it was off-topic and inappropriate. It was the type of post that starts a massive hijack of nonsensical posts which ends in lol cats pictures. We've had enough of that here as it is.
> 
> Now back to your regularly scheduled discussion.





superodalisque said:


> i think thats pretty much true. it happened in chat too. it went from full happy and robust to nearly empty when people decided to come an lurk like vultures just to make sport of other people and to make them feel bad about themselves their life decisions and their points of view. sometimes *its fine to be serious but its not a cardinal sin to just have fun either. it is okay to play.*



Apparently you're wrong, SO. See Mod post #36 from this thread (above) re a post of mine deemed lacking suitable gravitas and duly removed. NO HORSEPLAY of ANY KIND! Ya gotta be _grim_ to be Dims. Groovy Jesus or better to open. I've learned my lesson and pass it on in totally appropriate contrition and remorse. :blush:


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## exile in thighville (Feb 27, 2010)

mods, by definition, even the ones i like, have a way of chopping off the tops on all the books on the shelf so they're all the same size


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## Blackjack (Feb 27, 2010)

Ernest Nagel said:


> Apparently you're wrong, SO. See Mod post #36 from this thread (above) re a post of mine deemed lacking suitable gravitas and duly removed. NO HORSEPLAY of ANY KIND! Ya gotta be _grim_ to be Dims. Groovy Jesus or better to open. I've learned my lesson and pass it on in totally appropriate contrition and remorse. :blush:



Ernest, I like you and all, but you seriously need to get over your butthurt over this.


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## steve-aka (Feb 27, 2010)

Ernest Nagel said:


> I'm just curious why my earlier post in this thread was deleted? No big deal but I was just trying to make a point that all entities change and evolve over time. We can either be accountable for proactively shaping the direction of that change, piss and moan about how bad things are or move the f>ck on.





Sandie S-R said:


> It was removed because it was off-topic and inappropriate. It was the type of post that starts a massive hijack of nonsensical posts which ends in lol cats pictures. We've had enough of that here as it is.





Ernest Nagel said:


> OK, well then, I somehow missed that memo. :doh: If off topic and inappropriate is no longer tolerated you're gonna need a LOT more mods around here, jmo. In the spirit of good Dimizenship I'll just ban myself until I see how _that's_ gonna be enforced. On my behalf I don't think I've ever posted an LOL cat and I was actually trying to make a point.





stan_der_man said:


> In the absence of clear guidance from The Chief, perhaps we should start a thread called "_What would Conrad do_", bow our heads, put our hands together and offer him our PMs.
> 
> 
> 
> ...





SoVerySoft said:


> I am not a mod of this board, so I won't delete your post. But while it still stands, I want to say that I love how you give us a perfect example of the disrespect that pushes us to the limit. Thank you, Stan.





Sandie S-R said:


> Ditto, Stan. You've hit a new low.
> 
> Thanks for sharing.





stan_der_man said:


> You're both welcome.  Although you do see the ridiculousness of this situation all the way around, don't you? So a... ehem... not even an infraction or anything for this post?





Sandie S-R said:


> Not the least bit funny, Stan. Not at all.
> 
> Nope Stan. Leavin' this one up to Conrad.
> 
> I'm done with the bull shit.





Ruby Ripples said:


> The utter irony of your post made me gasp. Given that you youself made THE single most awful, devastatingly nasty, vicious, tantrumous rule-breaking post that I have EVER seen on Dimensions. Im sure you know the one, when you realised that no amount of your shouting would get you access to the ssbbw-only forum, so you attacked us all as a group, and our "issues".
> 
> You not only were not banned or suspended, you actually had some people sucking up to you after it.
> 
> ...



The above chain of posts gleaned from this thread represents a clear example of one of the points I was getting at with my initial post - how the rules here seem to be unevenly applied. 

Nagel posts something that on the surface seems off-topic but upon further scrutiny is relevant and thought provoking. 

His post is removed.

Then along comes Stan with a mocking post that, although humorous, is far less pertinent to the discussion than Nagel's post. This post is fervently reviled by no less than two mods yet still it stands untouched. 

However, that's not enough for Stan. He actually has the temerity to gloat about how he hasn't been censured for it! Then Ruby chimes in that this is not even the first time Stan's gotten away with stuff like this. That he's done even worse things. Yet still he's treated with kid gloves.

This inequitable enforcement of the rules here on Dims is troubling. Proof that there are some who can basically do whatever they want without fearing reprisal, whereas others get infractions for similar activities. This calls into question the fairness of the enforcement. What sort of get out of jail free card does Stan have? Is he Conrad's fishing buddy? Why is it that penalty must only be dealt out by "The Chief" in the case of Stan? Is Stan akin to some sort of foreign delegate here in Dims-land with diplomatic immunity? Does he get carte blanche to do whatever he wants, only answerable to one person, thus leaving the rest of the mods powerless to do anything about him? Judging by the above responses from the moderators, the answer seems obvious.

If this is the case then, to paraphrase Sandie, I gotta say that's bull shit.


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## SoVerySoft (Feb 27, 2010)

Steve, we've left it up to Conrad, who actually has a life and isn't here every second.

Also, it is possible he saw the post but felt, as I did, that it was a good example of the disrespect we get so often now. And I think the post was ludicrous, and perhaps Conrad did as well, so no harm letting it stand while letting it serve as that example.

But I can't speak for him. These are just my thoughts on the matter.

So you can see that every situation has different ways to be viewed. Things are not always black and white - there are infinite shades of gray.

There are quite a few mods, we are all individuals who often are in a position to make a judgment call and there is no possible way we can make identical decisions.

I am sorry you feel we are inconsistent, but perhaps that is one way of looking at it. I think we are just people.


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## Tooz (Feb 27, 2010)

Sandie S-R said:


> As mentioned above *ONLY TWO (2)* people were removed for bad behavior (bullying others, disrespecting the rules of posting, etc., recently).



Yes, only two when there are others who quite obviously deserve it more.

Look, I understand moderation is a shit job. Believe me, I understand. I think, however, if you are going to apply the rule, apply it evenly. Again, just my two cents.

Think that brings it to four cents in this thread.


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## Tooz (Feb 27, 2010)

stan_der_man said:


> In the absence of clear guidance from The Chief, perhaps we should start a thread called "_What would Conrad do_", bow our heads, put our hands together and offer him our PMs.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I am not 100% familiar with Stan's apparent "history," but I don't see why this is so offensive. Honestly? Sometimes I really get the feeling Conrad is regarded as some kind of deity around here. If you just knee-jerk react to what I said in anger, maybe give yourself a sec to chill and then really THINK about it. There is a lot of crying to him and seriously exalting him. Yes, he runs a forum. Yes, it is gracious of him to host it/have a server/whatever. In the end, however, he is just a dude who likes fatties.

You know?

Maybe Dims isn't important enough for me to be shitting cubes over this.

P.S. I don't agree with the SSBBW forum per se anymore either, so maybe this skews my opinion on a lot of things.


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## SoVerySoft (Feb 27, 2010)

Tooz said:


> Yes, only two when there are others who quite obviously deserve it more.
> 
> Look, I understand moderation is a shit job. Believe me, I understand. I think, however, if you are going to apply the rule, apply it evenly. Again, just my two cents.
> 
> Think that brings it to four cents in this thread.



Like I have said before, I think sending PMs to Conrad would be the best way to make your opinions known. Mods don't ban people without an okay from Conrad unless they are obvious spammers or trolls.

I think folks seem to think that we are power-hungry ogres who randomly exercise our control over others. Truth is we have the tools, but not the power. And I doubt any of us would want that power. Important decisions like who gets banned and who doesn't are not up to us. We do give input of course, but the final decision is Conrad's.


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## Tooz (Feb 27, 2010)

SoVerySoft said:


> I think folks seem to think that we are power-hungry ogres who randomly exercise our control over others.



I sympathize with this. Anyone in any type of administrative position (I use "administrative" sort of loosely here) will pretty much catch flak because they are seen as the responsible ones.

I would say a way to reduce the accusations is be more transparent about the banning process so people can't speculate, maybe?


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## Ernest Nagel (Feb 27, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> Ernest, I like you and all, but you seriously need to get over your butthurt over this.



Thank you BJ but I think it serves the mods and Dims to hold them to a reasonable standard. My deleted post was in their defense if anyone bothered to read the whole thing. There are plenty of people here I wouldn't think twice about their dissing me; totally expected. As I've said many times I respect the Mods and Conrads work and recognize how frustrating it must be. Nothing personal. At the same time if I ever learned any truth as a student of history here it is - “This and no other is the root from which a tyrant springs; when he first appears he is a protector.” ~ Plato


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## exile in thighville (Feb 27, 2010)

who would pee their pants over a picture of the buddy christ

seriously you guys are soggy cereal


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## Blackjack (Feb 27, 2010)

Ernest Nagel said:


> Thank you BJ but I think it serves the mods and Dims to hold them to a reasonable standard. My deleted post was in their defense if anyone bothered to read the whole thing. There are plenty of people here I wouldn't think twice about their dissing me; totally expected. As I've said many times I respect the Mods and Conrads work and recognize how frustrating it must be. Nothing personal. At the same time if I ever learned any truth as a student of history here it is - This and no other is the root from which a tyrant springs; when he first appears he is a protector. ~ Plato



It _is _possible to get your point across without such childish behaviour as you've shown in this thread.


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## mossystate (Feb 27, 2010)

SoVerySoft said:


> Steve, we've left it up to Conrad, who actually has a life and isn't here every second.




But why is it being left for him...that's the rub. I got a two point infraction ( not looking for feedback, just needed an example ) for saying something like, " has anybody defined what is...is? ", on the thread Conrad started.. What Dims Is And What It Is Not. A lighthearted bit of fluff was worth two infraction points. 
Stan meant to jab Conrad. I think from someone else, the Buddy Christ pic could have been mere silliness, but not from Stan ( and I thought it was fairly amusing ). He plants all kinds of stuff, hoping to get infracted...yet, never happens. I am not talking about bannanation...I am talking about simple infractions that many get for much...much...less.
Makes one have to believe that there are friendly protections. If somebody like Steve is asking, then ' you ' should know that it is not all that outrageous to wonder. This is not about thinking that moderating a website is a walk in the park. I think we really need to get past that mantra.


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## chicken legs (Feb 27, 2010)

steve-aka said:


> The above chain of posts gleaned from this thread represents a clear example of one of the points I was getting at with my initial post - how the rules here seem to be unevenly applied.
> 
> Nagel posts something that on the surface seems off-topic but upon further scrutiny is relevant and thought provoking.
> 
> ...



Yeah I'm in the "never ending infraction" group for starting a thread directed at other readers of the library and ended up getting attacked by people who rarely even visit the library and were pissed because HP got shut down and decided to spread the joy. Then I got a warning for responding after some bs popped up after I posted a comment that mentioned I was "thin" at a point in my life. I don't know what all happened in HP before it got closed but whatever happened added with everyone getting fired in the country has effected the mood of Dims. So I blame the crappy economy on the crappy mood of Dims. 

Oh and I also blame the recent Health Care reform bs and the subsequent attacks on fat contributing to the lack of humor on the boards.


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## BigIzzy (Feb 28, 2010)

free2beme04 said:


> When did the Main Board become more of a war zone than Hyde Park?
> 
> This is a bad sign people.



correction: when did darn near every thread become a war zone?

ok, thats better! (woooosh....ducks, woah! hey! thats my head...woooosh...hey!)


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## steve-aka (Feb 28, 2010)

SoVerySoft said:


> Steve, we've left it up to Conrad, who actually has a life and isn't here every second.
> 
> Also, it is possible he saw the post but felt, as I did, that it was a good example of the disrespect we get so often now. And I think the post was ludicrous, and perhaps Conrad did as well, so no harm letting it stand while letting it serve as that example.
> 
> ...



Yes. I understand that every situation is different. But by how many degrees do those differences rate? And by how much does the individual involved influence the rating?

My point is that one post, relatively relevant, is removed by the moderators. Another post, almost completely irrelevant, remains even though it's soundly chastised by the same moderators. How is this fair? Better yet, how does this prove to the rest of us that the moderators are actually effective in their tasks here? I realize that Conrad may not be here every second to pass judgment, but isn't that the primary reason for the existence of the other mods? I mean, if you cannot remove Stan's post based upon not only your judgment, but the similar judgment of one of your moderator peers then what's the point of having anyone be a moderator besides Conrad?


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## LoveBHMS (Feb 28, 2010)

Well i can't speak for Conrad or the mods, but it's clear from several posts that Conrad has issues with allowing people to be martyrs. Stan loves to provoke them, as evidenced by his annoyance that he wasn't infracted for his Jesus post. My guess is the mods feel it's better to just ignore him rather than indulge his outsized need for attention.

There are a few other posters on here who take some weird pleasure in breaking the rules and provoking, or trying to provoke the mods and/or webmaster. Those are posters whose only reason for being here seems to be shit stirring and creating drama. I think everyone is just tired of them and at this point is just hoping they'll get tired of having less of an audience. One of the worst offenders actually recently commented on how annoyed she was that people had stopped posting on a board which she made a point of trolling and bullying people. Hopefully once these types are cut off from their need to incite problems, they'll quit.


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## exile in thighville (Feb 28, 2010)

serious question: why would stan be infracted for the jesus post


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## SoVerySoft (Feb 28, 2010)

steve-aka said:


> ...I realize that Conrad may not be here every second to pass judgment, but isn't that the primary reason for the existence of the other mods? I mean, if you cannot remove Stan's post based upon not only your judgment, but the similar judgment of one of your moderator peers then what's the point of having anyone be a moderator besides Conrad?



What you are failing to understand is that in this one instance, we have left it for him to make a decision. If he hasn't taken action yet, or has decided not to take action, I don't know. I am not in his head. 

But for us, or another mod, to do something about it once we've put it into his hands, that would be overstepping, in my opinion. 

I assume you will somehow take this response and turn it into another global fault of Dimensions, so I am not sure why I bother to respond to you. It just seems to make things worse.


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## LillyBBBW (Feb 28, 2010)

exile in thighville said:


> who would pee their pants over a picture of the buddy christ
> 
> seriously you guys are soggy cereal



Possibly Conrad, who would view it as a personal attack? Just a guess.


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## Angel (Feb 28, 2010)

I'm a nobody here. I don't post photos (maybe posted 5 total since 2001). I don't reveal details of my personal or sexual life for those who "enjoy" such details. My post count isn't all that high. One thing I do is read.

Each of us have our own reason for being here. Sometimes those reasons change. Sometimes I think that certain individuals stay only to provoke, as witnessed by the continual barbs in their posts. 

I used to have respect for someone. The person was an asset to this community and to size acceptance beyond this forum. That person crossed a line here on these forums. Sad thing is that what was posted was offensive to those closest to the individual. Some reacted to the offensive post. Rather than taking the concern to heart the poster has chosen to alienate those who showed concern or questioned the offensive post. Ever since then, the individual has *used* the forums as a means to "get back" at a select couple others. Not only do those whom the barbs and jabs are aimed at see, but others here see also. 

If you want to be something in this life you can't ride the skirt tails of someone else. If you want recognition, you work for it yourself and you earn it yourself. You have to forge your own unique path to success or notoriety. No one gets a free pass in life unless they are born with a silver spoon. We don't always get the pats on the back from those who we think should be telling us "well done". 

Holding onto bitterness hurts yourself more than anyone else, including the one whom the bitterness is held for. The bitterness permeates whatever environment you inhabit, both online and in your day to day life. Holding onto bitterness affects your attitude and demenor. Other see it. Others feel it. Even those closest to our heart.

They say that friends don't let friends drive drunk. If you are a true friend you look out for your friends. I often wonder if any of this individuals' friends here have taken the time to explain how the individuals' posts come across to everyone else who reads them. I wonder if any of the friends have shown genuine concern for the individuals' well being as far as the bitterness inside only harming the one holding that bitterness. I wonder if any of those friends have expressed concern, because obviously there is some deep seated hurt behind the bitterness. Sometimes friends and those closest to us don't say anything when we are making an ass of ourself because they don't want to personally offend us or lose our friendship. Sometimes friends and family will overlook our behavior. Sometimes they will even side with us and egg us on, because after all they won't be the one reaping the rewards. (- rewards not meaning the immediate reactions or laughs; but rather the long term results of peers and friends losing the respect they once held for us)


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## steve-aka (Feb 28, 2010)

SoVerySoft said:


> What you are failing to understand is that in this one instance, we have left it for him to make a decision. If he hasn't taken action yet, or has decided not to take action, I don't know. I am not in his head.
> 
> But for us, or another mod, to do something about it once we've put it into his hands, that would be overstepping, in my opinion.



Fair enough.



SoVerySoft said:


> I assume you will somehow take this response and turn it into another global fault of Dimensions, so I am not sure why I bother to respond to you. It just seems to make things worse.



I'm sorry you feel this way. I assure you it is NOT my intention to make things worse but to do the opposite. However, sometimes things gotta get a little messy before they get better. 

Just so you know, I love it here at Dimensions. I love the community that's sprung up in the neighborhood Conrad has cleared out of the internet wilderness for it. My respect for him and the moderators such as yourself who donate their free time to keep this community thriving is boundless. However that doesn't mean it's a blind, fanatical sort of respect, but one that questions and challenges in hopes of better understanding and perhaps even improving this plot of land we dwell on. And to me this not only shows respect for the landlord but it shows respect for the tenants too. And isn't that a win-win situation?

Thank you for being open to this discussion.


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## steve-aka (Feb 28, 2010)

exile in thighville said:


> serious question: why would stan be infracted for the jesus post



Just so you know, I thought Stan's post was hilarious. Truly inspired satire.

However, I was using it as an example of how things here seem to be one way for some people and another way for others.


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## SoVerySoft (Feb 28, 2010)

steve-aka said:


> ......Thank you for being open to this discussion.



I appreciate this post, thank you.




steve-aka said:


> Just so you know, I thought Stan's post was hilarious. Truly inspired satire.
> 
> However, I was using it as an example of how things here seem to be one way for some people and another way for others.



We all need to be aware that human behavior has so many nuances that it is impossible for everyone to interpret it the same way. Also, we often don't know what's going on behind the scenes. Was this a behavior that appeared one way on the surface but the intent was not as it appears? Are we reading too much into it? Not enough into it?

Given that, it is not easy for the moderators to react in exactly the same way. That might be viewed as inconsistency, and technically, if we are viewed as a single entity ("Dimensions Moderators") that would be correct. But we are not robots. We are individuals who are truly trying to do the most thorough, consistent and even handed job we can. Our styles differ, just as our personalities differ.

Be patient with us as we try to be with you. It's hard for all of us.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 28, 2010)

free2beme04 said:


> Man I miss that Scot.



I do as well



superodalisque said:


> i don't come here as much any more because honestly i'm getting bored with the lack of positive stuff in general and the lack of constructive activity and personal honesty for the most part. anytime anyone brings up anything that could build something, connect people and form commonality it becomes a dumb political battle that retards everything. the real problem dims has right now is that it _is_ getting to be a bit retarded. if we aren't careful its going to start to look like the other sex interest sites with nothing special to hold people here except the same old tired empty headed drives that have been around forever. having more than that is what made dims dynamic and special for a long time. already the activity on the boards is pointing that way. why not just go ahead and make this a place to critique paysites and see freebee pix. thats pretty much what it will become if discourse dumbed down to a large degree. hey, there is a lot of money to be made in that but then at some point i guess maybe FAs would get tired of talking to people who'd only deal with them if they get paid. and there are other places that are more explicit that they can view.
> 
> dims won't evolve if people don't get over trying so hard to be right that they can't be decent to each other and supportive when its no skin off their teeth. it won't evolve if people try to continually to live in a past that doesn't exist anymore. the naive days when people thought that fat people could be divorced from SA for the sexual interest of a few is over. we just aren't that unexposed ignorant or desperate anymore. so since the cattle refuse to be hearded into the box canyon the take won't be as good anymore. people want thier freedom and they do what it takes to get it. and whats more they aren't going to leave the young tender and naive to be taken advantage of unopposed.



Truth as I see it :bow:



Saoirse said:


> I dont see what so hard to understand.
> 
> People are still here because they have friends here. They've shared their lives on here. They've helped build this community. Telling them to just up and leave when they question the direction of their internet home is disrespectful, rude and arrogant.



I have to wonder.....what if most everyone actually DID leave? 

Be careful what you wish for.......



kayrae said:


> exile in bannedville you're next



I.....chortled. I love threads that make me chortle.......



free2beme04 said:


> Maybe I'll buy some KayRaeBanneds in the Dims Market Place.



This was a nice follow up



kayrae said:


> I'm banning you too! Shut your face!!!



And the laughs continued.....



Wagimawr said:


> If you believe the hype, they don't even know.
> 
> Eh, they weren't showin their bodies anyway.







Tooz said:


> I personally think it's stupid to ban two people who actually contribute to the boards like they did when the numbers of actual contributors is dwindling as it is...
> 
> 
> JUST MY TWO CENTS.





Saoirse said:


> thats some shit i can get behind. :bow:



Me, too. 

Looky Loos.....do they bring people here? People log into look at pictures or read posts.....the numbers that explain how many people are "viewing" doesn't get the juices flowing like actual posts, now do they? 



exile in thighville said:


> serious question: why would stan be infracted for the jesus post



I took it as more of a hit against blind followers rather than Conrad himself.......Conrad wasn't the one(s) that looked bad in that caricature, now was he......*shrugs*

If he didn't name the "blind followers", how is that a _personal_ attack?

Bottom line though is that it's not up to me to make that decision.....*shrugs again*


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## CleverBomb (Feb 28, 2010)

GEF's right in concurring with Dali's post there. 
The main differentiaton between this and other similar sites is the community and the SA elements.
And purely on the eye-candy and lechery level. this site isn't competitive -- there are places that show more and allow less-restrained comments (and due to the nature of teh internets. there will ALWAYS be a less-grown-up site to draw away the pageviews). That said. I'm pretty sure Chief here doesn't want to go that direction in any case.
It seems to be working for now -- but it works because of what it is. For what it's worth. we're interesting people. and that brings an audience in from the internet to see what we're doing and in a few cases join in the fun. And that's what keeps the lights on.

-Rusty


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## steve-aka (Feb 28, 2010)

SoVerySoft said:


> We all need to be aware that human behavior has so many nuances that it is impossible for everyone to interpret it the same way. Also, we often don't know what's going on behind the scenes. Was this a behavior that appeared one way on the surface but the intent was not as it appears? Are we reading too much into it? Not enough into it?
> 
> Given that, it is not easy for the moderators to react in exactly the same way. That might be viewed as inconsistency, and technically, if we are viewed as a single entity ("Dimensions Moderators") that would be correct. But we are not robots. We are individuals who are truly trying to do the most thorough, consistent and even handed job we can. Our styles differ, just as our personalities differ.
> 
> Be patient with us as we try to be with you. It's hard for all of us.



This is an incredibly sublime and beautiful post. I assure you I will try to be more patient with you and the other wonderful people who freely give their time running things backstage here at this crazy show called Dimensions. Thank you for all you do!


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## exile in thighville (Feb 28, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> Possibly Conrad, who would view it as a personal attack? Just a guess.



i don't think he's so easily offended


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## stan_der_man (Mar 1, 2010)

steve-aka said:


> ...
> Nagel posts something that on the surface seems off-topic but upon further scrutiny is relevant and thought provoking.
> 
> His post is removed.
> ...



Thank you Mr. Aka. Exactly this...



Tooz said:


> I am not 100% familiar with Stan's apparent "history," but I don't see why this is so offensive. Honestly? Sometimes I really get the feeling Conrad is regarded as some kind of deity around here. If you just knee-jerk react to what I said in anger, maybe give yourself a sec to chill and then really THINK about it. There is a lot of crying to him and seriously exalting him. Yes, he runs a forum. Yes, it is gracious of him to host it/have a server/whatever. In the end, however, he is just a dude who likes fatties.
> 
> You know?
> 
> ...



And this... Thank you Tooz. Does every decision made by moderators here have to hinge on Conrad's golden word? Perhaps these sort of situations of inconsistent moderating are the exception, but one would think that delegating of authority and coordination amongst the moderators on consistency of how the rules are enforced would keep these sort of brouhahas from happening.



Ruby Ripples said:


> The utter irony of your post made me gasp.
> ...
> 
> I just could NOT let your post with the Jesus picture go...



Just for the record, as Mossy and others so kindly pointed out, this wasn't a picture of Jesus... it was Buddy Christ. BTW, Are you still mad at me for that comment about ranting that I made to you a while back...?



exile in thighville said:


> it took me a little while to appreciate stan
> 
> ...



I wasn't sure if my Buddy Christ comment would be going overboard... but seeing as that I have your seal of approval Dan, I will consider it a successful post.

My work here is done.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Mar 1, 2010)

stan_der_man said:


> I wasn't sure if my Buddy Christ comment would be going overboard... but seeing as that I have your seal of approval Dan, I will consider it a successful post.
> 
> My work here is done.



LMAO - you are der man!


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## Edens_heel (Mar 1, 2010)

I have definitely noticed a lot of this censorship over my years here, and recently - within the past year or so - it seems to have hit very high levels. I've followed a lot of Mer's posts, and never once did I agree with anything posted that resulted in a ban or infraction, and there have been so many others who spend the bulk of their time offering up posts strictly for the purpose of inciting rage, yet nothing ever seems to happen to them. 

And reading how Conrad responded, not only posting a private message but writing about it in such a childish, condescending manner, without anything approaching respect to that thread's original poster (GD), and then closing that thread before any other responses could be added, has convinced me that my time could be better served elsewhere - as could the size acceptance movement, which this site only seems to partially further nowadays. And of course there are enough loyalists who will never see how imbalanced this site has become, but it truly has seen its best days already passed.

I'll stay for the Lost and gaming threads, and because there are a few people on this site who have come mean a great deal to me, but I can't see anything on this site resembling the promise it once had - the level of moderation has made it clear that its priorities have shifted for the worse.


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## LoveBHMS (Mar 1, 2010)

> I've followed a lot of Mer's posts, and never once did I agree with anything posted that resulted in a ban or infraction, and there have been so many others who spend the bulk of their time offering up posts strictly for the purpose of inciting rage, yet nothing ever seems to happen to them.



This has already been addressed; it's possible and in fact likely that offending posts were removed before you saw them. i don't know either what mergirl posted that broke the rules, but i assume it was something that got deleted and not something that can be read.

i agree with you about the "posts strictly for the purpose of inciting rage" but here's the thing---that is just how it is. As i posted on another thread, my personal response was to realize that certain internet bullies are never going to stop their behaviour so i adjusted my own by just not posting in certain places. Very simple. Do i like that fact that certain boards have basically been killed? No, but that is just how it is. Do i like there being different rules for different posters? No, but that is just how it is and if i don't like it i can just not read this board at all. It's beyond me why the suggestion of just leaving if this board makes you unhappy is met with such anger and hysteria. 



> And reading how Conrad responded, not only posting a private message but writing about it in such a childish, condescending manner, without anything approaching respect to that thread's original poster (GD), and then closing that thread before any other responses could be added, has convinced me that my time could be better served elsewhere - as could the size acceptance movement, which this site only seems to partially further nowadays



He repeated his own private message, not somebody else's. i can't imagine there'd be any rule against repeating something you yourself said in private.


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## kayrae (Mar 1, 2010)

Stan, I'm guessing the Buddy Jesus is offensive because it's Jesus. Substitute Buddy Jesus with Buddha, Amon Ra, or [insert deity here], would the reaction be the same? Probably not. I personally thought it was hilarious.


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## Ruby Ripples (Mar 1, 2010)

stan_der_man said:


> Just for the record, as Mossy and others so kindly pointed out, this wasn't a picture of Jesus... it was Buddy Christ. BTW, Are you still mad at me for that comment about ranting that I made to you a while back...?



I genuinely have not a clue what youre talking about there . Im not MAD at you for you anything. But any respect I might have had for you, disappeared with the post I mentioned earlier in this thread. It was awful, and almost any other member would have been banned for posting it. 

Its clear to me and many others that you are purposely pushing and pushing to see how far you can go, before your personal friends of Mods eventually ban you.


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## SoVerySoft (Mar 1, 2010)

Ruby Ripples said:


> Its clear to me and many others that you are purposely pushing and pushing to see how far you can go, before your personal friends of Mods eventually ban you.



Just a reminder that it is not the mods who make the final decisions about who gets banned in situations like this.


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## steve-aka (Mar 1, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Do i like that fact that certain boards have basically been killed? No, but that is just how it is. Do i like there being different rules for different posters? No, but that is just how it is and if i don't like it i can just not read this board at all. It's beyond me why the suggestion of just leaving if this board makes you unhappy is met with such anger and hysteria.



Hold on here a second. Dims isn't some TV show that was once good but has now jumped the shit shark and the viewers are helpless to do anything about it. It's an interactive community in which some have detected problems. Why can't the members of said community point out these problems in hopes they'll be rectified? Should they just leave a place they've come to love and to call home without a fight?

Hell no!

They should do their best to effect positive change. Just as one wouldn't abruptly pack up and leave someone they love at the first sign of trouble, at least I hope not, one wouldn't leave a place they've come to feel a deep fondness for just because they've detected a few leaks in the plumbing. They do the best they can to fix the problem, or at least alert others who are in a place of power to fix it. 

Whether what you love is a person or a place, it's hard to simply leave without at least trying to make things better.


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## Gendo Ikari (Mar 1, 2010)

steve-aka said:


> Hold on here a second. Dims isn't some TV show that was once good but has now jumped the shit shark and the viewers are helpless to do anything about it. It's an interactive community in which some have detected problems. Why can't the members of said community point out these problems in hopes they'll be rectified? Should they just leave a place they've come to love and to call home without a fight?
> 
> Hell no!
> 
> ...


Forget it Steve, they don't care about us.


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## LoveBHMS (Mar 2, 2010)

steve-aka said:


> Hold on here a second. Dims isn't some TV show that was once good but has now jumped the shit shark and the viewers are helpless to do anything about it. It's an interactive community in which some have detected problems. Why can't the members of said community point out these problems in hopes they'll be rectified? Should they just leave a place they've come to love and to call home without a fight?
> 
> Hell no!
> 
> ...



Because in my opinion fighting is a silly waste of time. This is a privately run internet site, not a relationship. It's not and never has been a two way street. The site has rules, written and unwritten as laid down by the individual who administers it and anyone can post or not post within those rules. 

The fact that certain people like Stan get away with doing whatever they want is to me no different from nepotism at a job. If your boss's brother or kids work with you, they're going to be treated better than other workers. It's just how it is. 

I happen to think the best and sanest thing to do is to simply recognize that you don't make the rules on here and if the place makes you unhappy either cut back or eliminate your participation. It's not up to them to "care about you" because once again, this is not a relationship.


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## Famouslastwords (Mar 2, 2010)

ChubbyBubbles said:


> You have missed my point. It's not about defending Dimensions...it's about certain people can get away with posting pretty much anything because they are, I'll use the term "favorites" as opposed to say, someone like me, who doesn't post very often. I'm not pointing fingers to anyone in particular, just that I have seen it first hand and I know I'm not alone.



If you were to name people they'd give you an infraction for a personal attack.


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## TallFatSue (Mar 2, 2010)

I've had much better luck fighting for positive change in real life than on the internet, which is perfectly fine. I dearly love my parents and my brother. Mom has nagged about my weight all my life, and she still does whenever I see her. Luckily after much effort I could effect positive change with her, albeit not 100%. She still harps about my size whenever I see her ("Doesn't it bother you to have that belly of yours hanging out for all the world to see?" "No, Mom, I relish it."). After she gets her daily nag out of the way, all is well, and then I can reap the benefit of her freshly-baked goodies. Yes, I'm shamelessly bribable. :eat2:

My brother is a great guy and I love him to pieces, but his wife was so fat-unfriendly I could hardly stand to be around her. For years I tried my darndest to reach a truce or at least a cease-fire with my sister-in-law, for my brother's sake and later for their daughter's sake too. If at first you don't succeed, try try try try try again. Finally I had to admit defeat, that I could never effect positive change. I told my brother that much as I love him and my niece, my sister-in-law was so hostile that I simply could no longer set foot in their house. If my S-I-L ever mends her ways, my hand is always extended in love and friendship, but until then, it's probably best I stay away. 

Miracles do happen. Last Thanksgiving my sister-in-law was civil, and by Christmas she was so friendly I thought she must be her good twin from an alternate universe. So I extended my hand in love and friendship -- and S-I-L took it! The kicker is that she arranged for my husband and me to sail with her and my brother on a last-minute Caribbean cruise last month. Unexpected is hardly the word! We had a terrific cruise, and never did I feel the urge to push S-I-L overboard. I'm positive that my social-climbing S-I-L has an ulterior motive, namely to use Art & me as means to insinuate herself with a certain socially-desirable family we have come to know. It matters not. It's simply wonderful to be able to visit my brother, hug my niece, and no longer have my S-I-L heap withering condescension onto me, so I'm shoveling the olive branches onto her. Has anyone else found a formerly-hostile relative become lovey-dovey for whatever reason? 

Anyway these personal examples show that I am perfectly willing to effect positive change in real life, in here and elsewhere -- within reason. For my own sanity I'm also perfectly willing to vote with my feet and take my fat elsewhere.


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## Edens_heel (Mar 2, 2010)

Famouslastwords said:


> If you were to name people they'd give you an infraction for a personal attack.



Exactly - and I've noticed it too. You'd have to be blind not to.


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## steve-aka (Mar 2, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Because in my opinion fighting is a silly waste of time.



Really? So, by this logic you'd say that the civil rights movement was a silly waste of time? That fighting for gay rights is a silly waste of time? That fighting for the rights of fat people is a silly waste of time?



LoveBHMS said:


> This is a privately run internet site, not a relationship. It's not and never has been a two way street. The site has rules, written and unwritten as laid down by the individual who administers it and anyone can post or not post within those rules.



Yes, and I'm not disputing any of this, well, at least not most of it. I never said Dimensions was a relationship, at least not in the way you seem to mean it. What I did say was that Dimensions is a community. A community not only made up of Conrad but of the moderators and of you and of me and of everybody who posts on the forums. If it was a stagnant place where things were completely closed off from outside influence then these boards wouldn't even exist. If Conrad wasn't interested in hearing what others have to say he wouldn't have allowed us a forum to voice our opinions and he certainly wouldn't be accessible via private messaging. 

We, the people in the Dimensions community, come here to talk about being fat or being attracted to fat and to find people who share our preferences for these things and to get support and gain camaraderie. Now, I certainly can't speak for Conrad but I feel I can be fairly safe in assuming that promoting this sense of communal bonding over adipose admiration and acceptance is the main reason he started this website in the first place.



LoveBHMS said:


> The fact that certain people like Stan get away with doing whatever they want is to me no different from nepotism at a job. If your boss's brother or kids work with you, they're going to be treated better than other workers. It's just how it is.



I'm sorry you have such a defeatist attitude about this. However, to use a variation on your argument, Dimensions is not a job. 



LoveBHMS said:


> I happen to think the best and sanest thing to do is to simply recognize that you don't make the rules on here and if the place makes you unhappy either cut back or eliminate your participation. It's not up to them to "care about you" because once again, this is not a relationship.



Of course I don't make the rules. However, I think that voicing one's opinion _can_ influence how they're enforced here. At least I haven't given up hope that it can. I'm not trying to overthrow the powers that be or belittle Conrad or the mods. I'm just trying to state my perceptions of how the rules sometimes seem to be inequitably implemented here. I'm not the only one that's aware of this either as seen by some of the responses here and in other threads elsewhere, so I'm not on some kind of paranoid quest for power or acknowledgment. 

The bottom line is Conrad and the mods may not care about me personally but they certainly care about their community. If they didn't, why would they have put so much time and effort into creating and enforcing the rules in the first place?


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## LoveBHMS (Mar 2, 2010)

I'd hardly equate arguing with the webmaster of an internet site with the civil rights movement. People really need to get away from the mindset that arguing with a private individual about how he runs a website is the same thing as you being Rosa Parks.

And do you reallly think it's a "defeatist attitude" to say if you don't like the way an internet site is run you should just not post there? To me that is a practical attitude. 

Sure there are things that i don't agree with but who cares? This site is not here to cater to me. I can either deal with things the way they are or i can leave.


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## Wagimawr (Mar 2, 2010)

Y'know, when two sides of the same issue are both feeling like they've been forced out, that's probably a sign there's something horribly wrong...


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## LoveBHMS (Mar 2, 2010)

Wagimawr said:


> Y'know, when two sides of the same issue are both feeling like they've been forced out, that's probably a sign there's something horribly wrong...



It's not really about "sides" though.

This site is what it is. Anyone who does not like it should either leave or learn to deal with it. If you take something like personal relationships and the fact that certain people are treated differently, in many cases those are real life friendships that go back for decades. Are those really going to change? Of course not. If somebody has been in the SA world for years and socializes with mods IRL, are they going to get special treatment? Sure they are. Is that ever going to change? No. There are also dynamics that are long established and honestly i think upsetting them would make things worse. There are posters who've been permabanned for insulting Conrad and posters who've insulted him in public and who gleefully keep posting here. That is just how it is and it's not going to change. Realizing that is not about being forced out, just realizing that you can stay or go but it's so NOT productive to stay and complain about things that won't change.


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## GTAFA (Mar 2, 2010)

CrankySpice said:


> Oh, for Pete's sake, people. If you've been around Dimensions long enough (as most of you have) then you know the rules by now.
> 
> I understand that it's great for shits and giggles to try and push the envelope as far as you can, but you must understand that do it often enough or harshly enough and you are going to suffer the consequences. Crying foul or suggesting that you had NO IDEA a ban was possible for your behavior is disingenuous at best. Downright stupid, otherwise.
> 
> ...



This has been a funny thread, with lots of wit (eg what's above). * Black van of randon ban dom?* cute!:bow:

I remember back in the 1990s there were lots of discussions about possible rules on the forums. Conrad tried to keep it free at first and was largely a disaster. The forums as they are now have become a huge success in my opinion because of the imposition of a kind of order. It was anarchy before. Doesn't anyone remember that? It was like the wild west: only tackier without any of the glamor.


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## msbard90 (Mar 2, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> i don't come here as much any more because honestly i'm getting bored with the lack of positive stuff in general and the lack of constructive activity and personal honesty for the most part. anytime anyone brings up anything that could build something, connect people and form commonality it becomes a dumb political battle that retards everything. the real problem dims has right now is that it _is_ getting to be a bit retarded. if we aren't careful its going to start to look like the other sex interest sites with nothing special to hold people here except the same old tired empty headed drives that have been around forever. having more than that is what made dims dynamic and special for a long time. already the activity on the boards is pointing that way. why not just go ahead and make this a place to critique paysites and see freebee pix. thats pretty much what it will become if discourse dumbed down to a large degree. hey, there is a lot of money to be made in that but then at some point i guess maybe FAs would get tired of talking to people who'd only deal with them if they get paid. and there are other places that are more explicit that they can view.
> 
> dims won't evolve if people don't get over trying so hard to be right that they can't be decent to each other and supportive when its no skin off their teeth. it won't evolve if people try to continually to live in a past that doesn't exist anymore. the naive days when people thought that fat people could be divorced from SA for the sexual interest of a few is over. we just aren't that unexposed ignorant or desperate anymore. so since the cattle refuse to be hearded into the box canyon the take won't be as good anymore. people want thier freedom and they do what it takes to get it. and whats more they aren't going to leave the young tender and naive to be taken advantage of unopposed.



I can't add to your rep but.... REP!


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## LovelyLiz (Mar 2, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> And do you reallly think it's a "defeatist attitude" to say if you don't like the way an internet site is run you should just not post there? To me that is a practical attitude.
> 
> Sure there are things that i don't agree with but who cares? This site is not here to cater to me. I can either deal with things the way they are or i can leave.



The textbook definition of defeatism is acceptance of defeat without struggle.

That last paragraph of yours is the definition of a defeatist attitude. Not saying whether you should or should not have it (though, I think it's probably not the most constructive for a community made up of varied voices), but yes, it is a defeatist attitude.


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## steve-aka (Mar 3, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Sure there are things that i don't agree with but who cares? This site is not here to cater to me. I can either deal with things the way they are or i can leave.



Who cares? Seems like you're the one who doesn't. You're completely missing my point in order to make cute little comments so I will break it down here for you:



steve-aka said:


> ...Dimensions is a community. A community not only made up of Conrad but of the moderators and of you and of me and of *everybody* who posts on the forums. If it was a stagnant place where things were completely closed off from outside influence then these boards wouldn't even exist. If Conrad wasn't interested in hearing what others have to say he wouldn't have allowed us a forum to voice our opinions and he certainly wouldn't be accessible via private messaging.
> 
> ...I don't make the rules. However, I think that voicing one's opinion _can_ influence how they're enforced here. At least I haven't given up hope that it can. I'm not trying to overthrow the powers that be or belittle Conrad or the mods. I'm just trying to state my perceptions of how the rules sometimes seem to be inequitably implemented here. I'm not the only one that's aware of this either as seen by some of the responses here and in other threads elsewhere...
> 
> The bottom line is Conrad and the mods may not care about me personally but they certainly care about their community. If they didn't, why would they have put so much time and effort into creating and enforcing the rules in the first place?


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## LoveBHMS (Mar 3, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> The textbook definition of defeatism is acceptance of defeat without struggle.
> 
> That last paragraph of yours is the definition of a defeatist attitude. Not saying whether you should or should not have it (though, I think it's probably not the most constructive for a community made up of varied voices), but yes, it is a defeatist attitude.



This is exactly why i rarely want to post on the Main Board anymore. Saying "defeatist" implies i have some rationale for being in an argument in the first place. i don't. This site was here for years and it is _privately owned and administered._ Nobody calls me when the server crashes or when it's time to renew the domain registration. The core group here is made up of men and women with personal relationships going back for years. I found it, i chose to post here knowing what the rules were. To suddenly decide it should be changed to cater to me or anyone else is ridiculous. The fact i accept this site for what it is is hardly defeatist.


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## LovelyLiz (Mar 3, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> This is exactly why i rarely want to post on the Main Board anymore. Saying "defeatist" implies i have some rationale for being in an argument in the first place. i don't. This site was here for years and it is _privately owned and administered._ Nobody calls me when the server crashes or when it's time to renew the domain registration. The core group here is made up of men and women with personal relationships going back for years. I found it, i chose to post here knowing what the rules were. To suddenly decide it should be changed to cater to me or anyone else is ridiculous. The fact i accept this site for what it is is hardly defeatist.



You may have what you consider to be very legitimate reasons for not feeling the need to change/influence/contribute to/form the communal ethos of the site. However, if there is something about the site that bothers you, and you decide to accept it without any effort to modify it, that is the definition of defeatist.

However...ironically, what really seems to bother you is that not everyone shares this defeatist attitude; and that is something you'd like to change and that you argue for regularly. 

What a paradox. My mind is imploding.


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## Webmaster (Mar 3, 2010)

I am seeing some excellent observations and positions from all sides, and all these opinions certainly give me a lot to think about and help me in trying to decide how best to administer the Dimensions site and community. I wish I always had an instant solution that worked for everyone, but that is not always possible. 

I know that almost everyone probably has an idea of what's involved in keeping a large site running, on target, and free of spam. I also know that Dimensions cannot be the be all and end all for everyone, and that not everyone is always happy with how things are done, or what Dimensions seeks to address. The important thing then becomes to use creative energy towards working out mutually workable solutions rather than hardening fronts.

No one starts or pursues an argument thinking they are wrong, yet it's always good to remember that over a lifetime, each of us is probably right about as often as wrong. So we do the best we can in a world where governments and political parties are not giving us a shining example as to how that should be done. 

There are about a thousand new posts every day at Dimensions and I can't read them all. Much is everyday conversation and discussion, but there are also good observations, suggestions and indications as to where friction is. If substantial needs are not met, or improperly met, then by all means do PM me. Almost all changes and additions at Dimensions have their initial root in serious commentary and proposals.


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## steve-aka (Mar 3, 2010)

Webmaster said:


> I am seeing some excellent observations and positions from all sides, and all these opinions certainly give me a lot to think about and help me in trying to decide how best to administer the Dimensions site and community. I wish I always had an instant solution that worked for everyone, but that is not always possible.
> 
> I know that almost everyone probably has an idea of what's involved in keeping a large site running, on target, and free of spam. I also know that Dimensions cannot be the be all and end all for everyone, and that not everyone is always happy with how things are done, or what Dimensions seeks to address. The important thing then becomes to use creative energy towards working out mutually workable solutions rather than hardening fronts.
> 
> ...



Thank you so much for this message, Conrad. It really makes me elated to see you taking this seriously, but I had faith that you would. I certainly meant no disrespect when bringing any this up. I was hoping for - and happily received - a great discussion culminating with your fine statement. I have the utmost respect and regards for everything you've done for the Fat Acceptance community over these past several decades. 

I know I haven't been a super-prolific poster but I've been (mostly) lurking around the Dimensions website since its inception in the late 90s and before that I subscribed to the magazine and even used to have some of the old FA-SIG newsletters, so I feel like I've been a part of this community for some time. It pleases me to see that all my efforts here haven't been for naught and that you still care greatly about this awesome and wondrous community that you've fostered and nurtured over all these long years. 

Thank you, sir, for all you've done to help FAs and BBWs across the globe!


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## Allie Cat (Mar 4, 2010)

I would like to make a suggestion.

On another forum that I frequent, there is a sticky thread in one of the sub-forums. In this thread, whenever a member is banned, the mods post that the person was banned and why. I think this is because the forum members tend to be very close to one another and when someone disappears it evokes that same 'black van in the night' feeling that seems to be going on here. Maybe something like that could work for here?

Granted, there would have to be some sort of oversight or possibly consensus - it'd be easy for an unscrupulous mod to ban someone they personally disliked, or who had publicly called out their friend/spouse/lover for being a douchebag, or whatever, and then claim wrongdoing on the part of the ban-ee... but maybe increased transparency would be helpful.

Or maybe not. *goes back under the couch*


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## LillyBBBW (Mar 4, 2010)

Divals said:


> I would like to make a suggestion.
> 
> On another forum that I frequent, there is a sticky thread in one of the sub-forums. In this thread, whenever a member is banned, the mods post that the person was banned and why. I think this is because the forum members tend to be very close to one another and when someone disappears it evokes that same 'black van in the night' feeling that seems to be going on here. Maybe something like that could work for here?
> 
> ...



That sounds good but it seems it would constitute more work for the Mods that's reasonable under the cirucumstances. I still think the automatic implementation of "Banned," "Out To Lunch," or "Temporarily Unavailable," was the overall best solution. That way the Mods don't have to do anything and people know why the user isn't responding to queries.


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