# Tired of BBWs that ignore big men



## swedishiron (Feb 8, 2006)

I am so tired of BBWs that will practically through themselves on averaged size men but treat big guys like shit. I see it all the time at BBW parties to point i stopped attending. you will see 5 girls dancing with skinny guy ? whats the point?


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## EvilBob (Feb 8, 2006)

The heart wants what the heart wants...


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## AnnMarie (Feb 8, 2006)

I think that would be akin to me going to a club and being pissed at all the guys dancing with skinny chicks. I mean, honestly... people like what they like, and their own physical preferences often have nothing to do with what their own build is like. 

I think rather than being upset about the girls with the average guys, you need to spend more time looking at the girls who AREN'T dancing with them.

My friend and I run events in MA, we have a lot of big guys who come, and there are girls who dig them - no doubt. Is it as many as dig the "average" guy? Probably not, I won't lie. Similar to how not as many men like fat girls as like "average" girls. But there are far less BHMs who attend our events compared to average guys, so it works out ok for everyone. 

Anyway, I understand the annoyance, anyone of size can, but you really need to look for those who are looking for you, rather than at those who aren't. If I spent all my time thinking about the guys out there who don't want me... I'd never leave the house.


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## NFA (Feb 9, 2006)

Everyone has a right to their own physical preference. You aren't owed the attention of fat women and shame on you for thinking you are. I know I'd never want anyone telling me that I should be attracted to thin women, so I've no interest in doing that in reverse.


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## Tracyarts (Feb 9, 2006)

Never had a preference myself. Men could be fat, thin, short, tall, dark, fair, old, young, etc... 

But for some people there is a distinct preference. 

I mean, if it is okay for men to focus only on supersized women, or only on pearshaped women or only on tall women, etc... then it is perfectly okay for women to focus only on their preference.

Everybody wants what they want, even if what they want is not a specific physical type. Many times, it is though. 

If it is okay to reject a woman for being too thin, then it is okay to reject a man for being too fat.

What's good for one is good all around.

Tracy


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## shirmack (Feb 9, 2006)

Well Im Gonna Venture Out On A Very Thin Psychological Limb Here And Say That Big Girls Go After Smaller Guys As An Ego Boost Much As Most Big Guys Go After Smaller Girls As An Ego Boost I Share Your Frustration As I Am A Med To Large Guy Who Likes Bigger Girls Especially Blondes But I See The Other Point Of View As Well There Is My Hypothesis At Least


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## AZ_Wolf (Feb 9, 2006)

Just based on how many BBW sites there are of all manner on the internet compared to those for BHM, I'd definitely say that more "skinny to mainstream" men like BBWs than such women like BHMs. So it wouldn't be at all unusual to see a BBW mobbed on the dance floor by skinny guys.

If she's the sort of woman that gets more turned on by contrast, then that's who you'd see on the dance floor with her. I don't exclusively like thin women, but I, as a BHM, definiely find the contrast between a thin(ner) woman and myself alluring, so I can understand that.

Also, when I was in college and into fitness, I was _buff_. Not to where I had muscles bulging all over, but I was definitely in conventionally great shape. But I was almost universally ignored by women because I'm also short.

I learned to deal with it. Be yourself, and don't let anyone else's preferences get to you too much. Hey, even now in the BHM community my shortness is often a large bucket of cold water on most women. Just do your own thing and wait to meet someone who can appreciate that.


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## William (Feb 9, 2006)

swedishiron said:


> I am so tired of BBWs that will practically through themselves on averaged size men but treat big guys like shit. I see it all the time at BBW parties to point i stopped attending. you will see 5 girls dancing with skinny guy ? whats the point?


Hi 

Until recently (I mean in the 2000s) I would say you were correct. When I first came to Fat Acceptance, fat men were not thought to need Fat acceptance, but at the same time not thought to be masculine or attractive by BBWs in Fat Acceptance because of their Fat. Fat-a-tude only applied to BBWs. 

I am glad to say there are plenty of BBWs now putting in a good word for BHMs, maybe it is just that more BBWs really believe in Fat Acceptance and can extend it to BHMs. Maybe more BBWs truly feel good about themselves and can be themselves.

Anyway I like Fat Acceptance in 2006

William


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## ruby (Feb 9, 2006)

I'm a size 8 ffa and just because I see an attractive BHM doesn't mean he is going to be interested in me. I've put myself out there and I've even been rejected. Right after being rejected, I ask myself, "WHY?" But I realize that it really doesn't matter. There could be 1,000,000 reasons, but if I worry about it, I'll only drive myself nuts. I just try to leave the house with a positive attitude. I try to be confident and sincere, without carying the pain from my previous rejection. I realize that if I carry hurt, I will turn others off. 
Hope this helps.


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## missaf (Feb 9, 2006)

I'm sorry you're running into women you hope would be attracted to you and aren't. It's a big world out there with many varying tastes. If you'll read the other threads you'll see you're not alone, and you'll see that your situation is not indicative of everyone'e experiences. 

Hang in there.


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## EvilBob (Feb 9, 2006)

OK... maybe this is too blunt, but...

I have found that when women aren't paying any attention to you, it is generally a matter of YOU and not THEM.

Some guys have unpleasant personalities and don't know it.

Some guys just give off the creepy-crazy vibe.

This is not 100% accurate -- but it has held true in my life. 

So, when things are going south for you with the ladies - don't worry so much about hitting the gym. Think more about a few of these things:

_Why are you talking to them?_ If you are talking to them because you want them to love you or sleep with you, most women can sense that from a mile away... and avoid it.

_Would you be happy if you simply became casual friends with them?_ If not, then you are approaching with bad intentions... and that isn't hard for them to see either.

_Do you need something from them? _ Sometimes you may not even realize that you are truly in need of something from the person -- acceptance, love, assurance, etc.. It is OK to be needy -- we all are -- but if you are approaching a woman because, deep down, you *need* something, you will surely frighten them off.

If you approach with honorable intentions and an open heart, you would be surprised how receptive ALL people will be -- not just women.

My two cents... or maybe three.
EB


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## FatAndProud (Feb 9, 2006)

Dude, the skinny chicks dig BHM. I think because HELLO...The BHM always gets the beautiful skinny wife. I.E. Homer Simpson...Uh the husband on The King Of Queens...It could go on forever. 

It's the BBWs turn to get some much deserved skinny people attention lol.

No but I don't think size or whatever matters. As long as he's clean, funny, and smart. Then I'm down.


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## Buffetbelly (Feb 9, 2006)

That's beautiful, Bob! I think you need to change your nick to "Brotherly Bob" or "Bob the Wise".

Your advice rings true. Too many people go to BBW-BHM events expecting all the injusticies done to them in high school to be reversed in a single evening. And I wish more slender FFA's had the courage to attend such events since slender male FA's obviously have no such inhibition.


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## FatAndProud (Feb 9, 2006)

Oh I disagree, many slender FAs do have inhibitions, especially around their friends. It sickens me so much. Why can't people just say, "HEY I LOVE FAT!!"

It's almost like the whole gay-coming-out-thing. I guess fat people are extremely taboo in today's society.


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## Jes (Feb 9, 2006)

EvilBob said:


> OK... maybe this is too blunt, but...
> 
> I have found that when women aren't paying any attention to you, it is generally a matter of YOU and not THEM.
> 
> ...



EB is my new BFF.
Mostly b/c he knows about the creepy-crazy vibe some guys give off. Bob, this might mean you're not totally a guy...maybe you're like a Euro guy. Or part cat or something. I didn't know guys could know about that vibe...


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## NFA (Feb 9, 2006)

HEY, I LOVE FAT!

Its really quite easy. But indeed, some guys are closet about it. I can only hope they have the human decency not to date a fat girl while in the closet. If they don't care to know what they're missing, they ought to be willing to take the consequences.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Feb 9, 2006)

Okay. Why wouldn't a BBW like you, you ask? Here are your other two posts:

"I just want a lick !:smitten:"

"I'd love to take you out to eat Deidrababe...or you do you prefer eating in ? :eat2:"

CREEPY! Creepy, creepy, creepy, creepy CREEP! If you constantly sexualize women, they're going to be creeped out, whether they're 100 or 700 lbs. I've dated skinny and big men alike, and you know what: If they treated me like a sex object, they got dropped hard and fast.

Women don't like it when you blame them instead of taking responsibility for your lack of attractiveness. Why are you entitled to their attention when you're hostile towards them? No one owes you anything, bucko. Get over yourself.


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## FatAndProud (Feb 9, 2006)

NFA said:


> HEY, I LOVE FAT!
> 
> Its really quite easy. But indeed, some guys are closet about it. I can only hope they have the human decency not to date a fat girl while in the closet. If they don't care to know what they're missing, they ought to be willing to take the consequences.



Heh, HEY I LOVE FAT TOO!!! :eat2: 

More people just need to stop being...like you said...closet FAs and the world NEEDS to have a massive orgy. lol :wubu: 

Problem solved


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## TallEnglishman (Feb 9, 2006)

ruby said:


> I realize that if I carry hurt, I will turn others off.



Too many in the BBW/BHM/FA/FFA community parade their insecurities and hostility like badges of honour. 

:eat2: :eat2: :eat2: :eat1: :eat1: :eat1:


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## Jack Skellington (Feb 10, 2006)

Women that like macho guys with short hair don't want to date me! Damn them all to hell for their preferences! All women should be worshipping the ground I walk regardless of their personal likes and dislikes! 

Actually, I'm just kinda spooky looking so I creep everyone out. Eh, it has it's perks.

Seriously, no person of any size owes you a date and listen to EvilBob.


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## TaciturnBadger (Feb 10, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> If I spent all my time thinking about the guys out there who don't want me... I'd never leave the house.



Absolutely on point!!!!!!

--B.


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## Echoes (Feb 10, 2006)

swedishiron said:


> I am so tired of BBWs that will practically through themselves on averaged size men but treat big guys like shit. I see it all the time at BBW parties to point i stopped attending. you will see 5 girls dancing with skinny guy ? whats the point?



Yes, how dare anybody have a preference!


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## TallEnglishman (Feb 10, 2006)

Echoes said:


> Yes, how dare anybody have a preference!



Preferences, they sure slow the whole game down tsk tsk (lol)

:eat1: :eat1: :eat1: :eat2: :eat2: :eat2:


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## FatAndProud (Feb 10, 2006)

Exactly...but when we turn the lights out...everyone is the same


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## ThatFatGirl (Feb 10, 2006)

FatAndProud said:


> Exactly...but when we turn the lights out...everyone is the same



Who wants the lights out?? Lights on is more fun.


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## TallEnglishman (Feb 10, 2006)

ThatFatGirl said:


> Who wants the lights out?? Lights on is more fun.



Depends how they're angled 

:eat2: :eat2: :eat2: :eat1: :eat1: :eat1:


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## Jes (Feb 10, 2006)

I think the OP was also saying that there's a difference between finding someone unattractive to you personally, and finding someone unattractive to you personally AND treating that person somewhat badly. I can appreciate that. I don't mind if a guy doesn't think I'm hot--but if he ignores me in a social setting (and it happens, we've all seen it happen. I can never get the bartender to see me when I'm out, I often can't get guys to move for me when I'm trying to sit at a table, or make my way to the bathroom) that's just shitty.


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## Emma (Feb 10, 2006)

sprintpimp said:


> Well Im Gonna Venture Out On A Very Thin Psychological Limb Here And Say That Big Girls Go After Smaller Guys As An Ego Boost Much As Most Big Guys Go After Smaller Girls As An Ego Boost I Share Your Frustration As I Am A Med To Large Guy Who Likes Bigger Girls Especially Blondes But I See The Other Point Of View As Well There Is My Hypothesis At Least



I'll have to say you're wrong there. I go after thinner men because *I'M* attracted to them rather than bigger men.

You know a bit of punctuation here and there wouldn't go a miss. And what's with all the Caps?


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## Jes (Feb 10, 2006)

CurvyEm said:


> You know a bit of punctuation here and there wouldn't go a miss. And what's with all the Caps?



He's German.


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## missaf (Feb 10, 2006)

The point is Bigger IS Better


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## Laina (Feb 10, 2006)

Jes said:


> I think the OP was also saying that there's a difference between finding someone unattractive to you personally, and finding someone unattractive to you personally AND treating that person somewhat badly. I can appreciate that. I don't mind if a guy doesn't think I'm hot--but if he ignores me in a social setting (and it happens, we've all seen it happen. I can never get the bartender to see me when I'm out, I often can't get guys to move for me when I'm trying to sit at a table, or make my way to the bathroom) that's just shitty.



See, now there's an opinion I can totally understand. What threw me about the OP, I guess, was his comment that you'll see "five girls dancing with a skinny guy". 

Now, granted, I dance with guys I'm not attracted to...my favorite dance partner is my (very gay) platonic (very skinny) male friend. On the other hand, I'm not going dancing to meet guys who're interested in me--even before The Boyfriend came along, I was averse to dating guys I met at clubs. If I WERE going dancing hoping to score a possible partner...there'd be no point in me dancing with a guy I didn't want to date! Shallow as it may seem, physical attraction is an important factor for me, so if I were "dancing to date", I would likely not be dancing with a large number of thin men. With that said...

I don't understand the attitude that fat girls have to date fat guys. Does that mean that those of us at the opposite end of the spectrum are locked into dating only skinny people? If so, I'm in some serious trouble! I love my boys big, but I'm a little on the itsy-bitsy side myself (I'm 5'4 and weigh in at an astounding 107 lbs...yeah, I'm diesel. =P)

But I can relate to Jes's take on the post. My boyfriend seems, somehow, to turn invisible when we go out. I don't understand it in the slightest, as I can't take my eyes off of him...but every boy in the room apparently forgets he's there--I've actually cut nights short because men have walked up to us, wedged themselves between he and I and offerred to buy me drinks.  Seriously, who does that? Even if he weren't my boyfriend...does being disgustingly rude to a lady's escort EVER score you a date?
/rant.


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## FatAndProud (Feb 10, 2006)

ThatFatGirl said:


> Who wants the lights out?? Lights on is more fun.



Haha, true!!


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## bigbass (Feb 10, 2006)

Big or small, bhm or bbw, makes no difference. Rude is rude, regardless of size and its unfortunate that i find i am running into more and more rude people everyday. Treat people the way you want to be treated, have confidence in yourself and watch the rude people finish last when the game is over.

Preferences are just that, some people prefer sports cars and some prefer suv's. doesn't mean that a person that prefers one can not be polite to the other. Just my 2 cents.


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## ruby (Feb 10, 2006)

"And I wish more slender FFA's had the courage to attend such events since slender male FA's obviously have no such inhibition."

I don't like to make generalizations. I am only speaking from a one-time personal experience. As a ffa trying to meet a bhm at a "Large Encounter's" event, I found that: 
1. there were very few (maybe 1 or 2) bhm. 
2. I am a very friendly person and the bbws were very unfriendly towards me. Perhaps some people go to these places so they will not have to look at slimmer folks. I never returned to such an event. I realize that it was probably unfair not to give it a second try. Maybe a few attendees simply had a bad day. I try to give people the benefit of a doubt.

Ruby


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## Jackoblangada (Feb 10, 2006)

Laina said:


> But I can relate to Jes's take on the post. My boyfriend seems, somehow, to turn invisible when we go out. I don't understand it in the slightest, as I can't take my eyes off of him...but every boy in the room apparently forgets he's there--I've actually cut nights short because men have walked up to us, wedged themselves between he and I and offerred to buy me drinks.  Seriously, who does that? Even if he weren't my boyfriend...does being disgustingly rude to a lady's escort EVER score you a date?
> /rant.



I can't tell you how often this has happened to me. Seriously, average guys cannot even possably concieve of the idea that a thin, attractive woman would be interested in a great big fat guy. 
They seem to think I am there as some sort of shield they need to get around to get to the hot girl. Very very annoying. But on the bright, side really fun to see the look of shock on thier face when the hot girl turns and plants a big wet sloppy tongue kiss on the fat boy.


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## Missy9579 (Feb 10, 2006)

I thimnk its a common misconception that big girls should, or have to like big guys.....

Everyone has preferences.....

Violoet


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## AnnMarie (Feb 10, 2006)

Laina said:


> See, now there's an opinion I can totally understand. What threw me about the OP, I guess, was his comment that you'll see "five girls dancing with a skinny guy".
> 
> Now, granted, I dance with guys I'm not attracted to...my favorite dance partner is my (very gay) platonic (very skinny) male friend. On the other hand, I'm not going dancing to meet guys who're interested in me--even before The Boyfriend came along, I was averse to dating guys I met at clubs. If I WERE going dancing hoping to score a possible partner...there'd be no point in me dancing with a guy I didn't want to date! Shallow as it may seem, physical attraction is an important factor for me, so if I were "dancing to date", I would likely not be dancing with a large number of thin men. With that said...
> 
> ...



You're in MA, you and your guy should come hang out at the events!


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## William (Feb 10, 2006)

Hi

I do not think that the original poster was saying that Fat Women have to date Fat Men. What he was complaining about was that so few Fat Women at BBW Dances respond to Fat Men.

I have not been to many BBW Dances, but the photos I see of most events lean toward saying he is right.

On the other hand this may just be a preference of Fat Women that attend BBW Dances, I can not believe how many Fat Men and Woman I met online that have never even heard of Fat Acceptance.

William




Laina said:


> I don't understand the attitude that fat girls have to date fat guys. Does that mean that those of us at the opposite end of the spectrum are locked into dating only skinny people? If so, I'm in some serious trouble! I love my boys big, but I'm a little on the itsy-bitsy side myself (I'm 5'4 and weigh in at an astounding 107 lbs...yeah, I'm diesel. =P)
> 
> /rant.


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## Emma (Feb 11, 2006)

BigCutieViolet said:


> I thimnk its a common misconception that big girls should, or have to like big guys.....
> 
> Everyone has preferences.....
> 
> Violoet



Yeah it's like expecting all fat men should be attracted to fat women.


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## TallEnglishman (Feb 11, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> If they treated me like a sex object, they got dropped hard and fast.



So their luck was in then?  

:eat2: :eat2: :eat2: :eat1: :eat1: :eat1:


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## Ryan (Feb 11, 2006)

swedishiron said:


> I am so tired of BBWs that will practically through themselves on averaged size men but treat big guys like shit. I see it all the time at BBW parties to point i stopped attending. you will see 5 girls dancing with skinny guy ? whats the point?



I don't think anyone should treat others like crap simply because of their size. But that doesn't mean that people can't have preferences when it comes to who they find attractive.


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## NFA (Feb 11, 2006)

William said:


> I do not think that the original poster was saying that Fat Women have to date Fat Men. What he was complaining about was that so few Fat Women at BBW Dances respond to Fat Men.



So, he wasn't saying that they have to date fat men, he was just angry that they don't?

Complaining that fat women won't date fat men IS the same thing as saying they should have to date fat men. Same thing you've said about million times, William, so I'm not shocked you're leaping to defend such an obnoxious complaint.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Feb 11, 2006)

NFA said:


> So, he wasn't saying that they have to date fat men, he was just angry that they don't?
> 
> Complaining that fat women won't date fat men IS the same thing as saying they should have to date fat men. Same thing you've said about million times, William, so I'm not shocked you're leaping to defend such an obnoxious complaint.



If you allow women preferences, next they'll be wanting equal rights and pay. How can this do anything other than snowball, I ask?


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## Laina (Feb 11, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> If you allow women preferences, next they'll be wanting equal rights and pay. How can this do anything other than snowball, I ask?




Ah! OMG, you're right! Take their shoes and get 'em pregnant.

Hehehe.


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## Laina (Feb 11, 2006)

Jackoblangada said:


> I can't tell you how often this has happened to me. Seriously, average guys cannot even possably concieve of the idea that a thin, attractive woman would be interested in a great big fat guy.
> They seem to think I am there as some sort of shield they need to get around to get to the hot girl. Very very annoying. But on the bright, side really fun to see the look of shock on thier face when the hot girl turns and plants a big wet sloppy tongue kiss on the fat boy.



*hugs*

Exceptionally annoying...unfortunately, shocking the hell out of them doesn't soothe his hurt feelings, or his wounded ego...which means I have hours of work ahead of me before I can get down to what really matters after a night out--getting naked and naughty. =P

Whoa. Holy TMI, Laina. =)


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## extra_fat_guy (Feb 11, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> If you allow women preferences, next they'll be wanting equal rights and pay. How can this do anything other than snowball, I ask?




_We never should have given women the right to vote_. LOL. :doh: That started everything. LOL


But really many people are attracted to different things, and nobody can force someone to be attracted to them.


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## missaf (Feb 11, 2006)

While I love being a citizen and love my right to vote, sometimes I believe women had more influence in politics by other methods ;-)


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## Laina (Feb 11, 2006)

extra_fat_guy said:


> _We never should have given women the right to vote_. LOL. :doh: That started everything. LOL
> 
> 
> But really many people are attracted to different things, and nobody can force someone to be attracted to them.



I think I love you.

Voting, by the way, was not really the start of it. Letting us keep our tongues is where you went wrong. A woman who cannot speak cannot rebel.

(Yep, I actually had to end a date because a guy told me that. Wheee!)


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## William (Feb 11, 2006)

Hi 

No they are not the same thing

You have basically have three groups

1. Fat Women should date Fat Men
2. Some Fat Women should date Fat Men because some Fat Women like Fat Men or choose dates based on personality (which statistically should be the winner)
3. Fat Women should not date Fat Men

I consider myself part of group two and I have not met anyone from group one and I do not consider the first poster to be in group one, although he may be closer than most people.

I am not saying anything that most Fat Men have not said by voting to stay as far as they can from any thing like a BBW Dance.

I have to give credit to the Dimensions BHM/FFA Forum as being best that traditional and non-traditional Fat Acceptance has to offer to Fat Men.

William




NFA said:


> So, he wasn't saying that they have to date fat men, he was just angry that they don't?
> 
> Complaining that fat women won't date fat men IS the same thing as saying they should have to date fat men.  Same thing you've said about million times, William, so I'm not shocked you're leaping to defend such an obnoxious complaint.


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## Laina (Feb 11, 2006)

William said:


> Hi
> 
> No they are not the same thing
> 
> ...



I remember when your views weren't quite so moderate and I'm glad to see they've changed some...but no matter how many times I read the OP's comments, I still get the feeling that he's angry at BBWs for not wanting to be with BHM. Perhaps that wasn't his intention, but that's exactly how it reads to me (and, apparently, a lot of other people).


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## William (Feb 11, 2006)

Hi 

Laina

No you were quite right I can be quite verbal about BHMs and Fat Acceptance 

Unless answering a post like this I tend to think of Fat Acceptance as Fat People and their supporters (Friends) 

William




Laina said:


> I remember when your views weren't quite so moderate and I'm glad to see they've changed some...but no matter how many times I read the OP's comments, I still get the feeling that he's angry at BBWs for not wanting to be with BHM. Perhaps that wasn't his intention, but that's exactly how it reads to me (and, apparently, a lot of other people).


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## NFA (Feb 11, 2006)

Yes, William, they are the same thing. You cannot make the complaint that fat women aren't interested in fat men without implying that they have some obligation to do so. The OP's intent was clear, as is your intent in defending it no matter what semantics you wish to indulge in.


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## Tina (Feb 11, 2006)

NFA, just in general, I think that one *can* complain about a situation without saying the group/person you're complaining about is obligated to change. They are not automatically entwined. This is not specific commentary on the OP, but just in general.


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## NFA (Feb 11, 2006)

"I'm sick of BBWs that wont' date fat men" is a specific complaint about BBWs that primarily date thin men. The only honest way to interpret such a complaint is that he wants such women to change to suit his needs. It may not be an explicit demand, but take pains not to say what you're implying wins no sympathy from me. There could have been a way to express frustration at not finding BBWs who are into fat men without attacking those who are not, but the OP didn't go that route and deserves no benefit of the doubt for the choices he didn't make.


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## cutebbwisobhm4life (Feb 11, 2006)

I have read through many of these posts.....and although not thoroughly, I must let the world know (at least this corner of the world who choose to read this thread) that I am a BBW who has been wondering where all the wonderful, loving, caring BHM's have been my whole life?????

I find that alot of BHM's I come in contact with are looking for petite/average women. I know we all have our preferences, and I don't disrespect any BHM who chooses to be with/date or be attracted to an average size woman. 

I just happen to be extremely attracted to BHM's for my own reason. I just can't help thinking of how incredible his big strong arms will feel around me. I guess my BHM crushes started with the most famous BHM of all......yes folks, that would be Santa Clause himself. All my childhood crushes and the few boyfriends I have had in my day have all been BHM's....to me there is nothing in this world like a BHM who is content with who he is, and who is attracted to BBW's as well. I would love to have a Valentine BHM this year, but it's getting pretty close....but I am looking....but for a local BHM....upstate NY area, within an hours' drive of Albany, NY. (+/- depending on how cute he is....LOL) 

Feel free to make your presence known to me....like Buckwheat once said, I am WOOKIN PAH NUB !!!!!! Muah to all you BHM's who think there is noone out there who will adore you for the big handsome strong men you are. BRING IT ON !!!!! I DARE YOU !!!!!! :eat2: :kiss2: :smitten: :wubu:


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## FatAndProud (Feb 11, 2006)

To put it simply....FAT people NEED love too. haha


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## William (Feb 11, 2006)

Hi Tina

I mean why even have Fat Acceptance if people have the right to feel, think and act as they please. With that attitude we Fat People should just accept what society grants us. 

I do not think that Swed was saying that All Fat Women should be into Fat Men. Swed was complaining that at all the events that he has gone to Fat Men in general were being ignored by Fat Women.

The real question is if his statement is true, not the questions that have been raised.

William




Tina said:


> NFA, just in general, I think that one *can* complain about a situation without saying the group/person you're complaining about is obligated to change. They are not automatically entwined. This is not specific commentary on the OP, but just in general.


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## William (Feb 11, 2006)

I agree with that 

William



FatAndProud said:


> To put it simply....FAT people NEED love too. haha


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## Tina (Feb 11, 2006)

NFA said:


> "I'm sick of BBWs that wont' date fat men" is a specific complaint about BBWs that primarily date thin men. The only honest way to interpret such a complaint is that he wants such women to change to suit his needs. It may not be an explicit demand, but take pains not to say what you're implying wins no sympathy from me. There could have been a way to express frustration at not finding BBWs who are into fat men without attacking those who are not, but the OP didn't go that route and deserves no benefit of the doubt for the choices he didn't make.



Yes, but in your post to William, you said


> You cannot make the complaint that fat women aren't interested in fat men without implying that they have some obligation to do so.



Yours was a general statement that I took issue with and disagreed, hence the wording in my post that it was a general statement and not specifically about the OP.

And William, I agree. Just by reading these boards one can see that the original post is true specifically in swedishiron's experience, but not necessarily everyone's experience. I know that certainly I have been ignored by the large men in my area. But that's okay because I already have a honey. When I didn't, it sometimes irked me, but I figured, "to each their own."


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Feb 11, 2006)

William said:


> Hi Tina
> 
> I mean why even have Fat Acceptance if people have the right to feel, think and act as they please. With that attitude we Fat People should just accept what society grants us.
> 
> ...



People can think whatever stupid thing they want. Join the Flat Earth Society or the KKK. Lots of people with stupid ideas. However, it's the obligation for representatives of humanity to say, "Y'know what, just because someone is black or fat or queer doesn't make them any less deserving of love and respect than you." Acceptance is not an issue because it's about liking BBWs; it's about treating them like human beings. As a fat, bisexual woman, if I accept the way society treats me, I not only pardon the mistreatment I endure, but the mistreatment of every other gay, fat, or female person. I won't tolerate anything less than equal treatment, because I deserve nothing less, and the same goes for every person here.


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## William (Feb 11, 2006)

Hi

Dating and Socializing may not be the true meaning of Fat Acceptance, but it is the most frequent event in Fat Acceptance and what the general public thinks of when they hear of Fat Acceptance.

Also I can not count the posts that I have read by BBW venting about how skinny men in clubs ignore them and how even Fat Men in clubs ignore them. How is that any different from Swed's original post? Why this double standard when a BHM says the same-thing?

William




TheSadeianLinguist said:


> People can think whatever stupid thing they want. Join the Flat Earth Society or the KKK. Lots of people with stupid ideas. However, it's the obligation for representatives of humanity to say, "Y'know what, just because someone is black or fat or queer doesn't make them any less deserving of love and respect than you." Acceptance is not an issue because it's about liking BBWs; it's about treating them like human beings. As a fat, bisexual woman, if I accept the way society treats me, I not only pardon the mistreatment I endure, but the mistreatment of every other gay, fat, or female person. I won't tolerate anything less than equal treatment, because I deserve nothing less, and the same goes for every person here.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Feb 11, 2006)

William said:


> Hi
> 
> Dating and Socializing may not be the true meaning of Fat Acceptance, but it is the most frequent event in Fat Acceptance and what the general public thinks of when they hear of Fat Acceptance.
> 
> ...


 
Right. Just like people perceived once that all black people and women were stupid. People's opinions need to change. Throwing the towel in is just lazy. I don't give anyone near me who broaches the subject to walk away without an inside understanding.

I'd love to see the posts you're talking about, because I've never seen one from a woman on these boards. Even if such a post existed, I'd say the exact same thing: Attraction is attraction. Now, I've seen posts of women complaining they were teased, but being teased is a different ballgame than being ignored.


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## Jes (Feb 11, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> People can think whatever stupid thing they want. Join the Flat Earth Society or the KKK. Lots of people with stupid ideas. However, it's the obligation for representatives of humanity to say, "Y'know what, just because someone is black or fat or queer doesn't make them any less deserving of love and respect than you." Acceptance is not an issue because it's about liking BBWs; it's about treating them like human beings. As a fat, bisexual woman, if I accept the way society treats me, I not only pardon the mistreatment I endure, but the mistreatment of every other gay, fat, or female person. I won't tolerate anything less than equal treatment, because I deserve nothing less, and the same goes for every person here.


You're so uppity. I don't know what we're going to do about you.


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## AnnMarie (Feb 11, 2006)

Jes said:


> You're so uppity. I don't know what we're going to do about you.



Spanks??


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Feb 12, 2006)

Jes said:


> You're so uppity. I don't know what we're going to do about you.



You know, if everyone keeps saying that like they have been, I'm going to start to suspect it's true!


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## missaf (Feb 12, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> As a fat, bisexual woman,



I sorta resemble that remark!  

Back to what you were really saying. Yeah, sure, the OP has a prejudice, an opinion that needs to shift, but he brought it up here where we can lovingly and fatteningly correct his bias in a non harmful way and set him back out into the world with a new outlook on fat.

That being said, I do not consider it my job to equalize prejudices in the world. I won't force my views down someone's throats, and would be happy to see them change, one spoonful at a time rather than shoveling acceptance down their throats all at once.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Feb 12, 2006)

Agreed. Acting Hitler-esque solves nothing. I think you respond with equal emotions. If someone is chuckling at a fat person, it's inappropriate to go militant and lecture the evils of teasing fatties. However, it's not in my personality to let things go. I'll instead drag the dead horse across the desert, asking what's funny about it. Is it nearly as funny at the mocker's glasses or mustache or odd nose? That's just moi.


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## NFA (Feb 12, 2006)

On the rare occassion I've seen a woman make remarks like those of the OP and William's long history, I've responded in the same way. While I do think a lot of men and women like thin people out of social conditioning more than natural desire, the bottom line is that there is no useful way to distinguish that, nor is it something you can ever blame an individual for. You've got to respect people's preferences insofar as they do not presume a preference allows for a judgement of a moral failing on the part of those who do not meet it. Which is also why I'm quick to point out the silliness of some FA's who indulge in the "BBWs are a better brand of human" explanation for why they are FA's. Its unfair to assume a moral inferiority on the part of people you're not physically attracted to. Its wrong when done to BBWs and BHM's, and its wrong when done by FA's. I'm very consistant in expecting a level of respect for one's being, whether in the form of their body or their physical preference. Simply put, William, you are inventing a hypocrite where none existed, because you think that would better justify your complaint. Much like when you accused fat activists of being hateful towards men without any honest cause for your complaint. You simply lied about a quote of a non-fat activist that wasn't even hateful in the first place. Easy to attack someone when you don't need to be troubled by what they actually say and do, isn't it?


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## William (Feb 12, 2006)

NFA

I have no idea what you are talking about, but I think that I know who you are. 

Simply put if people in Fat Acceptance are not going to think and act any differently than the people in the general public then what is the need for Fat Acceptance in the first place?

William (My real name)




NFA said:


> On the rare occassion I've seen a woman make remarks like those of the OP and William's long history, I've responded in the same way. While I do think a lot of men and women like thin people out of social conditioning more than natural desire, the bottom line is that there is no useful way to distinguish that, nor is it something you can ever blame an individual for. You've got to respect people's preferences insofar as they do not presume a preference allows for a judgement of a moral failing on the part of those who do not meet it. Which is also why I'm quick to point out the silliness of some FA's who indulge in the "BBWs are a better brand of human" explanation for why they are FA's. Its unfair to assume a moral inferiority on the part of people you're not physically attracted to. Its wrong when done to BBWs and BHM's, and its wrong when done by FA's. I'm very consistant in expecting a level of respect for one's being, whether in the form of their body or their physical preference. Simply put, William, you are inventing a hypocrite where none existed, because you think that would better justify your complaint. Much like when you accused fat activists of being hateful towards men without any honest cause for your complaint. You simply lied about a quote of a non-fat activist that wasn't even hateful in the first place. Easy to attack someone when you don't need to be troubled by what they actually say and do, isn't it?


----------



## Laina (Feb 12, 2006)

William said:


> NFA
> 
> I have no idea what you are talking about, but I think that I know who you are.
> 
> ...



Wow...was that meant to sound threatening, or did it happen by accident? 

And again, Fat Acceptance does not equate with "you must date anyone who asks you, regardless of your personal preferences". I'm thin and cute and quirky, and big guys have turned me down. That's fine, that's their right. Maybe I wasn't what they were looking for, or maybe they were attached to someone else...maybe any number of things prevented them from being interested in me. If *I* were to start ranting that it's not fair that fat guys ignored me, because they should *obviously* be flattered by my attention, it would be insulting. It's no different when a BBW says that thin guys *have* to like her, or a BHM complains about BBWs being more interested in thinner guys. It's insulting, because it implies that whatever group isn't interested is wrong--and should be stripped of their free will.

Think about it for a second before you dive down my throat. You wouldn't date someone that you weren't entirely attracted to--it would be unfair to you, unfair to them, and likely would lead to a messy ending. Why? Because we have an inherent need to feel like we're attractive to our mates. It's part of the human sex drive. So while I can understand being disappointed (hell, I've been upset to see a cute guy walk away, too) it's simply not fair to expect every woman to date every man who approaches her, or vice versa. Love works best when it occurs naturally, as opposed to being coerced from someone via guilt trips about how they should want you...because after all, isn't that what the Acceptance Movement is all about?


----------



## William (Feb 12, 2006)

Hi Laina

I think that NFA just has a agenda here and is including issues from another internet area that I posted on.

None of my statements has been directly about what a individual person's preference should be or have to be and neither was Swed's first post. He commented on a room full of BBWs at a dance. People of both genders in Fat Acceptance have shared of having a wide range of preferences in dates. If this is true then there should be a mix of people dancing at a BBW Dance if all the different sizes and genders were present (well thin women would be a small minority).

If what Swed said he observed is true then that is problem for BHM. I think that the title of this thread should have been "Do BBWs at BBW Dances ignore BHMs"

Historically experiences of Fat Women being ignored and worse have been a part of the Fat Acceptance dialog, there is no reason it should not be the same for Fat Men.

I am not into the BBW Dance scene, but have found BBWs in general to be interested in BHMs.

William




Laina said:


> Wow...was that meant to sound threatening, or did it happen by accident?
> 
> And again, Fat Acceptance does not equate with "you must date anyone who asks you, regardless of your personal preferences". I'm thin and cute and quirky, and big guys have turned me down. That's fine, that's their right. Maybe I wasn't what they were looking for, or maybe they were attached to someone else...maybe any number of things prevented them from being interested in me. If *I* were to start ranting that it's not fair that fat guys ignored me, because they should *obviously* be flattered by my attention, it would be insulting. It's no different when a BBW says that thin guys *have* to like her, or a BHM complains about BBWs being more interested in thinner guys. It's insulting, because it implies that whatever group isn't interested is wrong--and should be stripped of their free will.
> 
> Think about it for a second before you dive down my throat. You wouldn't date someone that you weren't entirely attracted to--it would be unfair to you, unfair to them, and likely would lead to a messy ending. Why? Because we have an inherent need to feel like we're attractive to our mates. It's part of the human sex drive. So while I can understand being disappointed (hell, I've been upset to see a cute guy walk away, too) it's simply not fair to expect every woman to date every man who approaches her, or vice versa. Love works best when it occurs naturally, as opposed to being coerced from someone via guilt trips about how they should want you...because after all, isn't that what the Acceptance Movement is all about?


----------



## missaf (Feb 12, 2006)

William said:


> I am not into the BBW Dance scene, but have found BBWs in general to be interested in BHMs.
> 
> William



William, I'm going to go against the grain here and say there's no reason to place generalizations onto a subculture and expect those generalizations to carry over into other venues. People are people, they are who they are and they're attracted to any number of things. 

It goes beyond fat and it gets into the personalities and charisma of the people involved. The tone in the OP's post indicates he's not very forward and was watching from the outside of the activities at the dance rather than jumping in with both feet. If you're lurkinging in the corner, are you going to get noticed? 

There's no way for us on the outside of that situation to know what really happened, we see his anger, and we see his view, but do we really understand it all?


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## William (Feb 12, 2006)

Hi Missaf

What is weird about this conversation is that if you look at my first response to Swed you will see that I said that he was basically wrong. That is why I am wondering about NFA's intentions.

I agree with you that only Swed knows what he experienced , I have tried not support or oppose it.

I do disagree with the statement some have made that Swed said that Fat Women must Dance with Fat Men. 

He said that it has been his experience at several BBW Events that BHMs were being ignored by BBWs.

For the record I replied that I found BBWs supportive of BHMs.

William



missaf said:


> William, I'm going to go against the grain here and say there's no reason to place generalizations onto a subculture and expect those generalizations to carry over into other venues. People are people, they are who they are and they're attracted to any number of things.
> 
> It goes beyond fat and it gets into the personalities and charisma of the people involved. The tone in the OP's post indicates he's not very forward and was watching from the outside of the activities at the dance rather than jumping in with both feet. If you're lurkinging in the corner, are you going to get noticed?
> 
> There's no way for us on the outside of that situation to know what really happened, we see his anger, and we see his view, but do we really understand it all?


----------



## NFA (Feb 12, 2006)

Ah, so then William you ARE suggesting that fat women are obligated to date you.

And if you think you know who I am, then you know what I'm talking about because I've held you accountable for your dishonesty in the past. You remembered what I was talking about then. Remember. You found some article to discussed the ways fat people are stereotyped in our culture. In absense of ANY honest reason to conclude so, you went ahead and posted repeatedly on multiple venues that this meant fat acceptance was endorsing and encouraging those stereotypes. When people called you for this dishonest assessment, you just ignored them and kept on attacking. THAT is what I am talking about, William.

I could see how you could be confused. I might have chosen to bring up your support and encouragement for a fat-hate site that approved of violent fantasies about fat activists. That was pretty slimey of you, too. But the whole lying to make a point thing seemed more on topic.


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## William (Feb 12, 2006)

Hi NFA

I can not help if you read things into my posts, so believe what you want. 

If I had a problem with you I would come right out and say so and say exactly what the problem is, I would not make repeating innuendos of something no one else understands.

So again what exactly are you talking about aside from PHATSA which I did like parts of. I am still not sure of the owners intentions because he was a non-Fat Admirer Thin Male and I questioned him openly on the site. Still there was a lot of great Fat People on there that did not feel welcomed at NAAFA. Like me most have found homes on Yahoo Groups.

William



William







NFA said:


> Ah, so then William you ARE suggesting that fat women are obligated to date you.
> 
> And if you think you know who I am, then you know what I'm talking about because I've held you accountable for your dishonesty in the past. You remembered what I was talking about then. Remember. You found some article to discussed the ways fat people are stereotyped in our culture. In absense of ANY honest reason to conclude so, you went ahead and posted repeatedly on multiple venues that this meant fat acceptance was endorsing and encouraging those stereotypes. When people called you for this dishonest assessment, you just ignored them and kept on attacking. THAT is what I am talking about, William.
> 
> I could see how you could be confused. I might have chosen to bring up your support and encouragement for a fat-hate site that approved of violent fantasies about fat activists. That was pretty slimey of you, too. But the whole lying to make a point thing seemed more on topic.


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## voidhead (Feb 18, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Okay. Why wouldn't a BBW like you, you ask? Here are your other two posts:
> 
> "I just want a lick !:smitten:"
> 
> ...



Well when a woman poses in a sexual manner like the pin-ups do, they are inviting themselves to be "sexualized". 

I mean what the fuck do you think men do with these pictures; pick up a nice frame for them and mount them over the fireplace? No, they masturbate to them and enact sexual scenarios with the woman in the photograph. 

If you are doing porn, you are inviting others to "sexualize" you.


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## Ladyrose1952 (Feb 18, 2006)

swedishiron said:


> I am so tired of BBWs that will practically through themselves on averaged size men but treat big guys like shit. I see it all the time at BBW parties to point i stopped attending. you will see 5 girls dancing with skinny guy ? whats the point?


 
*Well dear, I for one will gravitate towards a BIG MAN. *
*I appreciate any attention that I get and I will show affection for the man that admires me for who I am. *
*I don't think their size should be a factor in desire.*


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Feb 18, 2006)

voidhead said:


> Well when a woman poses in a sexual manner like the pin-ups do, they are inviting themselves to be "sexualized".
> 
> I mean what the fuck do you think men do with these pictures; pick up a nice frame for them and mount them over the fireplace? No, they masturbate to them and enact sexual scenarios with the woman in the photograph.
> 
> If you are doing porn, you are inviting others to "sexualize" you.



You know, rapists use a similar excuse. "She was acting like a slut, so she deserved it." There's a difference between saying someone looks hot and/or sexy and saying that you want to lick them and fuck them and then wondering why they reject you. And pin-ups are NOT pornography. Chill out on the fucking hostility and learn your terminology.


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## EvilBob (Feb 18, 2006)

Mmmm... misogynisticalicious!


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Feb 18, 2006)

EvilBob said:


> Mmmm... misogynisticalicious!



Don't you even start, Bob!


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## TallEnglishman (Feb 19, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Chill out on the fucking hostility and learn your terminology.



Oh SadeianLinguist, how can I put this without fanning your flames further? You're so... _young_!

 

:eat1: :eat1: :eat1: :eat2: :eat2: :eat2:


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## missaf (Feb 19, 2006)

voidhead said:


> Well when a woman poses in a sexual manner like the pin-ups do, they are inviting themselves to be "sexualized".
> 
> I mean what the fuck do you think men do with these pictures; pick up a nice frame for them and mount them over the fireplace? No, they masturbate to them and enact sexual scenarios with the woman in the photograph.
> 
> If you are doing porn, you are inviting others to "sexualize" you.



Where the heck did this come from? Who brought up porn and pin ups?


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Feb 19, 2006)

TallEnglishman said:


> Oh SadeianLinguist, how can I put this without fanning your flames further? You're so... _young_!
> 
> 
> 
> :eat1: :eat1: :eat1: :eat2: :eat2: :eat2:



This doesn't leave me angry, but leaves me asking, "What's this got to do with the price of tea in China?"


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## Laina (Feb 19, 2006)

voidhead said:


> Well when a woman poses in a sexual manner like the pin-ups do, they are inviting themselves to be "sexualized".
> 
> I mean what the fuck do you think men do with these pictures; pick up a nice frame for them and mount them over the fireplace? No, they masturbate to them and enact sexual scenarios with the woman in the photograph.
> 
> If you are doing porn, you are inviting others to "sexualize" you.



There is a huge, huge difference between inviting someone to "sexualize" you and inviting someone to harass you. 

When I wear a miniskirt, I expect men to look me over--and yes, I anticipate a certain number of comments. But I do NOT date the men who whistle at me. Simple as that. I do not date the kind of men who would yell "Ai mamacita" at my back.

So yes, a woman who posts pictures of herself in the nude, or in provocative poses, expects you to think about her. She is not, however, obligated to date you. She is not even INVITING you to ask her out. Most women who pose this way are doing a job, nothing more. Yeah, we can enjoy that job...but it's just a job. Seeing a flash of my panties does not mean I have to sleep with you.


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## missaf (Feb 19, 2006)

All that being said, I dress attractively, but not provacatively, it's a personal safety thing as a single woman for me. Besides, eluding to my special friends what I have on underneath is far more fun than flaunting it.


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## Laina (Feb 19, 2006)

I am a firm believer that what's concealed is sexier than what's revealed...I'm just also of the opinion that I shouldn't HAVE to be conservative. It is, after all, a personal choice. 

I suppose I toe the line a little bit--I'm a cheesecake girl, which means provocative poses and "oops, my panties are showing" shots. I happen to think that these are attractive specifically because they're not meant to be full-nude, hardcore pornographic shots. If a woman is fully clothed and you accidentally get to see her garters, it's sexy. From my perspective, it's sexier than a woman walking into a room in a bare-all garment and then shedding it...her nudity, at that point, seems anticlimatic.


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## ThikchicStacey (Feb 19, 2006)

Not ALL BBW's like Skinny men....as for me. I like em large and soft....now where can I find one?? lol


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## TallEnglishman (Feb 19, 2006)

Laina said:


> I am a firm believer that what's concealed is sexier than what's revealed...



You're 100% right there, Laina. It's a message a few of the less secure models here and elsewhere could usefully adopt...

:bow: 

:eat1: :eat1: :eat1: :eat2: :eat2: :eat2:


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## bigguy35 (Feb 20, 2006)

<< large & soft.


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## PolarKat (Feb 20, 2006)

Laina said:


> I am a firm believer that what's concealed is sexier than what's revealed...I'm just also of the opinion that I shouldn't HAVE to be conservative. It is, after all, a personal choice.
> 
> provocative poses and "oops, my panties are showing" shots.
> 
> If a woman is fully clothed and you accidentally get to see her garters, it's sexy.



Amen!!
_Where has all the mystery gone.._


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## William (Feb 20, 2006)

Ah 

Memories of a Counselor at Jr. High who made our day when she crossed her legs on stage during school meetings.

William :wubu: 



Laina said:


> ........ If a woman is fully clothed and you accidentally get to see her garters, it's sexy......


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## moonvine (Feb 20, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> I'd love to see the posts you're talking about, because I've never seen one from a woman on these boards. Even if such a post existed, I'd say the exact same thing: Attraction is attraction. Now, I've seen posts of women complaining they were teased, but being teased is a different ballgame than being ignored.



Well, I hadn't posted about it (at least I don't think so), but I'm definitely ignored in clubs. It is kind of odd, and strangely comforting at times, that you can be the fattest woman in the room and yet invisible.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Feb 20, 2006)

moonvine said:


> Well, I hadn't posted about it (at least I don't think so), but I'm definitely ignored in clubs. It is kind of odd, and strangely comforting at times, that you can be the fattest woman in the room and yet invisible.



Not to make a spectacle out of you, MV, but: See, William! See how she isn't screaming and cursing BHM or skinny men or men in general for ignoring her, but is just presenting the facts? She isn't saying she's tired of it or whining. She's just saying it. "Amazering."


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## sweetjul (Feb 20, 2006)

> I do not think that the original poster was saying that Fat Women have to date Fat Men. What he was complaining about was that so few Fat Women at BBW Dances respond to Fat Men.
> 
> I have not been to many BBW Dances, but the photos I see of most events lean toward saying he is right.
> 
> ...




Does this mean that if I went to one of these dances, I'd get all the big handsome men to myself? lol I like them odds!!:smitten:


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## William (Feb 20, 2006)

Hi Laina

I can't believe Moonvine was treated that way at a BBW Dance like Swed shared he was!!

With all the BBWs and BHMs online that share of attraction to other large people I find it hard to believe any fat person would be ignored by other Fat Persons at a BBW Dance. 

I have never got into the BBW Dance scene, but I have been ignored at regular clubs.

William




TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Not to make a spectacle out of you, MV, but: See, William! See how she isn't screaming and cursing BHM or skinny men or men in general for ignoring her, but is just presenting the facts? She isn't saying she's tired of it or whining. She's just saying it. "Amazering."


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## missaf (Feb 20, 2006)

Moonie said "clubs," not "BBW Dances."


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## William (Feb 20, 2006)

Hi Missaf

I know but Swed only mentioned BBW Dances.

I know that a couple of people here will say that I am saying that Fat Women have to date Fat Men.

Really we are only talking about a dance at a dance and finding Acceptance at a Fat Acceptance Event. If what Swed says is true then there was no Acceptance for him there.

I have been into Fat Acceptance for a while and have heard plenty of SSBBWs and small BBWs make similar complaints about BBW Dances without any where near this much opposition.

I have heard all sizes of BBWs make similar complaints about life in general without this much opposition.

I think that BHMs should have the same freedom of speech also.

William





missaf said:


> Moonie said "clubs," not "BBW Dances."


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## voidhead (Feb 21, 2006)

Blah blah blah this thread needs to die. The guy in question needs to get some balls and go up to the females at the dance. They are not obligated to seek him out and beg him to ccome dance with them. Too many BHMs are timid and unsure of themselves...such a turnoff...

No one is obligated to reach out to anyone. It's not like any guys at this event are non-FAs and are just dancing with fat chicks to "be polite".

And as a guy I would rather women NOT dance with me if they're not interested anyway because it usually will give me the wrong impression. I don't seek to dance with women because I enjoy dancing...I do it because I am interested.


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## William (Feb 21, 2006)

Hi 

I would guess that there would be plenty of BBWs and maybe a FFA hanging out on the side of the dance floor anyway  

William




voidhead said:


> Blah blah blah this thread needs to die. The guy in question needs to get some balls and go up to the females at the dance. They are not obligated to seek him out and beg him to ccome dance with them. Too many BHMs are timid and unsure of themselves...such a turnoff...
> 
> No one is obligated to reach out to anyone. It's not like any guys at this event are non-FAs and are just dancing with fat chicks to "be polite".
> 
> And as a guy I would rather women NOT dance with me if they're not interested anyway because it usually will give me the wrong impression. I don't seek to dance with women because I enjoy dancing...I do it because I am interested.


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## Culinary_Alchemist (Feb 26, 2006)

voidhead said:


> Blah blah blah this thread needs to die. The guy in question needs to get some balls and go up to the females at the dance. They are not obligated to seek him out and beg him to ccome dance with them. Too many BHMs are timid and unsure of themselves...such a turnoff...
> 
> No one is obligated to reach out to anyone. It's not like any guys at this event are non-FAs and are just dancing with fat chicks to "be polite".
> 
> And as a guy I would rather women NOT dance with me if they're not interested anyway because it usually will give me the wrong impression. I don't seek to dance with women because I enjoy dancing...I do it because I am interested.



Take into account that most big guys are timid and unsure because they have been rejected so many times. I've had instances where a chick would flirt with me and later that night tell me she wasn't even slightly interested in me (do to my size). That really screw with the mind dude. We just have to learn to pick up the pieces and move on.
And since basicly everyone has told the original poster of this topic the same thing, I believe I don't need to put my imput here.

-Tuggie (new to this fun filled place)


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Feb 26, 2006)

Culinary_Alchemist said:


> Take into account that most big guys are timid and unsure because they have been rejected so many times. I've had instances where a chick would flirt with me and later that night tell me she wasn't even slightly interested in me (do to my size). That really screw with the mind dude. We just have to learn to pick up the pieces and move on.
> And since basicly everyone has told the original poster of this topic the same thing, I believe I don't need to put my imput here.
> 
> -Tuggie (new to this fun filled place)



You gained all your weight in a single night?


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Feb 26, 2006)

swedishiron said:


> I am so tired of BBWs that will practically through themselves on averaged size men but treat big guys like shit. I see it all the time at BBW parties to point i stopped attending. you will see 5 girls dancing with skinny guy ? whats the point?




I've never been a large guy so I speak from my own experience as a SSBBW. 

The bigger the guy, the less likely he is to acknowledge my existance. Now, remember, I said this is MY experience. Thin, athletic guys are the ones who look me in the eye, say hi, and treat me with respect. In MY experience, in all of life, not at a bbw event, big guys want nothing to do with me. 

In your post you mentioned BBW's. Does that include SSBBW's? or are you the pot calling the kettle black?

I can not say enough that this has been my own experience in life. I do not judge larger men any differently, but if one man looks through over and around me as if I don't exist and the other looks deeply into my eyes. I will go for the latter. Always.


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## Culinary_Alchemist (Feb 26, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> You gained all your weight in a single night?



wait...what?! holy ::bleep:: you just confused the ::milkdud:: out of me. illaberate


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Feb 26, 2006)

Okay, you said in a night a woman would flirt with you and then ignore you. It doesn't sound like a weight issue. Frankly, if I'm flirting with a guy and he walks off, I'd probably ignore him too. Walking away from someone without a number, unless you say, "I'll be right back," and come back in ten minutes or less, seems a bit like a brush-off.

As an afterthought, maybe if a woman initially flirts with you and then ignores you, you're turning her off from your behavior? I hear this complaint a lot from men and women alike. If people respond positively to you at first and then reject you, maybe it's you? It could be something as small as bad breath or something as big as an attitude problem. (We all know some person who whenever you approach them starts on how all men are dogs/all women are bitches.  ) I can tell you after twenty-one years after being a woman, I don't start out flirting and behaving like I'm attracted to someone in one night and just change my mind.


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## EvilBob (Feb 26, 2006)

I have to agree again with my Sadeian friend.

I have always believed that when it comes to women, you either are cute enough or you are not. Once you clear that bar, it is all about your personality. So, if a woman starts talking to you, you cleared the bar. If you lost it after that, you likely lost it on personality points. It has nothing to do with the size of the woman. A woman is a woman.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Feb 26, 2006)

Exactly, Bob. You're cute, but do you stink or have a freaky facial tic? You'll have to go out to a bar and report to us with the results!


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## Culinary_Alchemist (Feb 27, 2006)

now that i think of that, must have done something afterwards or maybe she wasn't flirting. that fine line of flirt and being friendly gets blured when i'm drunk. anyways, i guess attraction is a very fickle thing. all depends on the enviroment you've grow-up in and many other factors. 

i guess it's just weird for me atleast to know all these woman to have crushes on them or what not and they don't think of you other than a friend for one reason or another


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## William (Feb 27, 2006)

Hi

I will just wait until people here accuse you of saying that Fat Men must dance with Fat Women even though I know that is not what you are saying.

Fat/Size Acceptance is still developing and the way Fat People deal with each other is directly connected to how they feel about themselves.

William




BigBellySSBBW said:


> I've never been a large guy so I speak from my own experience as a SSBBW.
> 
> The bigger the guy, the less likely he is to acknowledge my existance. Now, remember, I said this is MY experience. Thin, athletic guys are the ones who look me in the eye, say hi, and treat me with respect. In MY experience, in all of life, not at a bbw event, big guys want nothing to do with me.
> 
> ...


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Feb 27, 2006)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> *In MY experience*, in all of life, not at a bbw event, big guys want nothing to do with me.



This is why no one's upset with her. She's relating her experience. Not saying, "Why do fat men ignore me and go and dance with all the skinny chicks???!!!"


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Feb 27, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> This is why no one's upset with her. She's relating her experience. Not saying, "Why do fat men ignore me and go and dance with all the skinny chicks???!!!"




Thank you


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## NFA (Feb 27, 2006)

She was not expressing her disdain and disapproval of those men, William. Something you have repeatedly done towards fat women and something the original poster was clearly doing. That's why no one will accuse of ANYTHING.


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## William (Feb 27, 2006)

Hi Laina

I think Swed said at the end of his post "What's the point?" More questioning the activities at that dance he was describing.

Like BigBellySSBBW he said he was tired of Fat People that ignore Fat People of the other Gender. Maybe he was more vocal in the way he said it, but they are close.

Really his post was mild compared to some on the rants by BBWs that I have read about BHMs reactions to Fat Women. I did not agree with those either any more than I agreed with Sweds assessment of BBWs.

William




TheSadeianLinguist said:


> This is why no one's upset with her. She's relating her experience. Not saying, "Why do fat men ignore me and go and dance with all the skinny chicks???!!!"


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## moonvine (Feb 27, 2006)

Culinary_Alchemist said:


> now that i think of that, must have done something afterwards or maybe she wasn't flirting. that fine line of flirt and being friendly gets blured when i'm drunk.




I find drunk guys a huge turn off. Fat or thin. But I'm much older, I think.


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## William (Feb 27, 2006)

Hi NFA

I did not say anything about her feelings about BHMs, so once again I have no idea what you are talking about.

William



NFA said:


> She was not expressing her disdain and disapproval of those men, William. Something you have repeatedly done towards fat women and something the original poster was clearly doing. That's why no one will accuse of ANYTHING.


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## EvilBob (Feb 27, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Exactly, Bob. You're cute, but do you stink or have a freaky facial tic? You'll have to go out to a bar and report to us with the results!



There is one person in the Dimensions universe who knows me. I can't speak for her, but she hasn't run screaming... yet!


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## Culinary_Alchemist (Feb 27, 2006)

moonvine said:


> I find drunk guys a huge turn off. Fat or thin. But I'm much older, I think.



i don't get full on hardcore hammered very often, only when it's for a special reason (must save the last of my brain cells). Feb. 28 is a special day, The Berghoff is closing so i must celebrate this Chicago staple. drink a few of their world famous beers and chilllllll.


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## Jes (Feb 27, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> You gained all your weight in a single night?


Bwaaahahaha. You have been amusing me greatly of late, monkeypants.

years back, a friend of mine got dumped after being with a guy for several months. He one day told her she was just too fat for him. And she was like: What, I gained 50 lbs. since yesterday? What the hell?

peoples--they is crazy.


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## William (Feb 28, 2006)

Hi NFA

Either repost once instance where I have shown disdain for Fat Women or just shut up!

I have debated with a few Fat Woman in Fat Acceptance, but I am in agreement with Most Fat Women in Fat Acceptance. None of the females in the Several Yahoo Groups I own or help out with have any problems.

Still I will openly say that there are some sectors of Fat Acceptance where BHMs are mainly given the shaft and saying that is not distain for Fat Women.

William







NFA said:


> She was not expressing her disdain and disapproval of those men, William. Something you have repeatedly done towards fat women and something the original poster was clearly doing. That's why no one will accuse of ANYTHING.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Feb 28, 2006)

Jes said:


> Bwaaahahaha. You have been amusing me greatly of late, monkeypants.
> 
> years back, a friend of mine got dumped after being with a guy for several months. He one day told her she was just too fat for him. And she was like: What, I gained 50 lbs. since yesterday? What the hell?
> 
> peoples--they is crazy.



Danke, Jessi-san. People are WEIRD. Of course, I guess you can start out loving someone's body and then hating it, but it's usually because of the person being a jerk.


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## Arkveveen (Feb 28, 2006)

I know, I am 18, I have a life ahead of me. But, I don't really find the contrast so alluring, I just don't. I want to feel a big chest and belly smother and mold to my own, that would feel so wonderful; if I find a BBW who is a FA too who wants BHM's. It's my dream BBW.  Well, I have my hopes up, I guess, ever since I became a member here.
For me, fat on fat is totally alluring as well as sexay! lol
Nothing wrong with what people enjoy or find beautiful and alluring. The diversity of fat lovers is immense. But, it's not good to go add conflicts about it. I despise arguments about such things.


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## GordoNegro (Sep 22, 2006)

Just let it be fate if someone prefers thinner dudes that just means there is someone else out there with eyes for you. Patience is a virtue as fate plays a role in finding happiness. There is someone for everyone.


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## Laina (Oct 23, 2006)

William said:


> Hi Laina
> 
> I think Swed said at the end of his post "What's the point?" More questioning the activities at that dance he was describing.
> 
> ...



...and it's an old post, but I just revisted. And why do I keep getting credit for TSL's insights?


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## William (Oct 24, 2006)

Using a scientific investigation I have found the answer!!!

http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=Laina&word2=TheSadeianLinguist


William 



Laina said:


> ...and it's an old post, but I just revisted. And why do I keep getting credit for TSL's insights?


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 24, 2006)

Funny how I have been a varying degree of plump to fat since puberty and the only men that show interest in me and ask me out all happen to be thin. I had the impression that any "bigger men" that I might have held an interest in preferred thin women themselves
Oh the irony.......


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## William (Oct 24, 2006)

Hi Green

Well if I was one of the youths one your past, I would have been scoping you out but to hung up about my fat body to make the move :blink: 

William





Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Funny how I have been a varying degree of plump to fat since puberty and the only men that show interest in me and ask me out all happen to be thin. I had the impression that any "bigger men" that I might have held an interest in preferred thin women themselves
> Oh the irony.......


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## Jack Skellington (Oct 24, 2006)

*Ignore Me!!!!*


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Oct 24, 2006)

Laina said:


> ...and it's an old post, but I just revisted. And why do I keep getting credit for TSL's insights?



I'm an inch taller and 5.5 lbs. heavier with similar dark hair. You know all us thin chicks look alike.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 24, 2006)

William said:


> Hi Green
> 
> Well if I was one of the youths one your past, I would have been scoping you out but to hung up about my fat body to make the move :blink:
> 
> William



I actually kind of wondered that too- that perhaps the thinner guys have more confidence but then again, as a "fat girl" myself, I tend to let them come to me. Seems like we all have that fear of rejection thing going on...


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## AZ_Wolf (Oct 25, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> I'm an inch taller and 5.5 lbs. heavier with similar dark hair. You know all us thin chicks look alike.



Not at all.


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## Laina (Oct 25, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> I'm an inch taller and 5.5 lbs. heavier with similar dark hair. You know all us thin chicks look alike.



Dude, I'd give my left elbow to look like you. =P


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## Laina (Oct 25, 2006)

William said:


> Using a scientific investigation I have found the answer!!!
> 
> http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=Laina&word2=TheSadeianLinguist
> 
> ...



Pfft. Results on google only prove that my name means something important in another language.

PS: if you google my name with my ex fiance's, you come up with a blog about a married couple trying to adopt (christian only) babies. Very weird.


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