# Housework



## collared Princess (May 12, 2020)

Just was wondering, how many men expected their 400-500 pound wife to clean the house, cook dinner, work full time and take care of kids? Realistically?


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## BigElectricKat (May 12, 2020)

If I had a 400-500 pound wife, I wouldn't expect her to be doing all that. I mean, realistically, that's probably not feasible on a daily basis (if at all). If someone wants their mate to maintain that level of weight, then they have to live life with "a servant's heart" and be prepared to do alot for their mate: cooking, cleaning, bathing, dressing, child rearing, etc. I can't imagine how it would be any other way (unless their mate/spouse insisted upon doing all of those things themselves).

In another thread on here, we discussed how men/women look at dating someone in the SS range from a purely sexual perspective and don't take into account all of the other facets of being a couple.


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## Corey (May 12, 2020)

collared Princess said:


> Just was wondering, how many men expected their 400-500 pound wife to clean the house, cook dinner, work full time and take care of kids? Realistically?



Well, 400-500 pounds or 120 pounds, it’s not okay for any person to do all of that work by themselves and without the help of their spouse or partner. Physically, I’d have no problem doing those things you listed above, but it’d take a toll on me mentally and emotionally.

If I was in the situation you described, I would ask my partner a few questions, such as: Why they think I should take on the responsibilities listed above; Why they think my time, energy and workload is less important than their own; And do they plan to be a sexist dickwad going forth in the marriage, because if so, then I’d rather continue to clean the house, cook dinner, work full time and take care of the kids as a single woman.

Not sure what the man brings to the table in the situation you listed above, but I’d feel much better doing those things out of love for myself and my kids instead of out of the expectation from a person who doesn’t respect me.


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## ScreamingChicken (May 12, 2020)

The distribution of household chores...regardless of the size of the people involved-needs to be set down before anyone marries or lives with another person.


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## CurvyEm2 (May 13, 2020)

I'd expect them to help in some way. If not physically then mentally. I'd never expect them to do every thing no.


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## Tempere (May 13, 2020)

ScreamingChicken said:


> The distribution of household chores...regardless of the size of the people involved-needs to be set down before anyone marries or lives with another person.



Wholeheartedly agree here. It’s totally fine to overlap and spare the other person a task from time to time


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 13, 2020)

I'm not getting why someone who works full time is expected to do all the rest of the work by herself, regardless of weight. What a load of crap you're getting....


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## ScreamingChicken (May 13, 2020)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I'm not getting why someone who works full time is expected to do all the rest of the work by herself, regardless of weight. What a load of crap you're getting....


The only time I could even think of this being a workable solution is when one partner is in a field where they are away from home a lot...over the road truck driver, oil field worker etc. 

Even then, I have seen firsthand how it is a recipe for trouble down the line.


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## Corey (May 13, 2020)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I'm not getting why someone who works full time is expected to do all the rest of the work by herself, regardless of weight. What a load of crap you're getting....



Preach!


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## Shotha (May 14, 2020)

Politically inclined people will probably see WMP looming here. I personally think it's best to do the chores together. For example, when cooking dinner, the more mobile partner can do the fetching and carrying and anything that requires a lot of standing, and the less mobile partner can do the cutting and chopping and adding the artistic touches.


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## Rob hudson (May 14, 2020)

Shotha said:
I personally think it's best to do the chores together. For example, when cooking dinner, the more mobile partner can do the fetching and carrying and anything that requires a lot of standing, and the less mobile partner can do the cutting and chopping and adding the artistic touches.

# # #

I would agree with this approach. It would be the same as if one of the partners was in a wheelchair. You wouldn't expect that partner to do a lot of up and down fetching and carrying. Or, if your washing machine/dryer was in a basement and you didn't have a lift, one would not expect that wheelchair-bound (or super heavy person) to go up and down the stairs. Unless they wanted to, of course. But I, personally, wouldn't expect my partner--if I had one, that is---to do so. Moving all that weight is hard work lol.


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## thatgirl007 (May 15, 2020)

As a single woman, I do all of this for myself (minus the raising children part, but I am the best auntie ever) and I am over 400 pounds. I do have long-handled scrubbers for some of my housework, but I chalk that down to having short, fat arms (T-Rex, according to my niece) rather than my size overall. I can get really creative in adapting spaces to suit my body, because I crave comfort.

If I had a partner, I'd expect some amalgamation of us sharing chores, though.


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## Rob hudson (May 15, 2020)

thatgirl007 said:
If I had a partner, I'd expect some amalgamation of us sharing chores, though.

# # #

Of course. Sharing of duties is essential I think. One partner should not feel put upon to do everything. On the other hand, if my partner really enjoys, for example, cooking, but hates dishes. I'd take it upon myself to do all the dishes so she can spend more time on what she enjoys.
Me, I hate mopping floors lol. I'd let her do that for me.


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## jakemcduck (May 15, 2020)

Three words; maids and butlers.


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## adam (May 20, 2020)

Used to be a thing called a house wife/stay at home mom/a proper mother, who kept control of the household while her husband provided financial income to pay for everything. Both did a job.


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## Corey (May 20, 2020)

adam said:


> Used to be a thing called a house wife/stay at home mom/a proper mother, who kept control of the household while her husband provided financial income to pay for everything. Both did a job.



Hello 1950s, are you there? Adam is calling! By the way, house wives and stay at home mothers are still a ‘thing’. (I am one) But a proper mother? Who is she in today’s world? A proper mother is a mother who loves her children, period. A mother can work and a father can stay at home to tend to the children these days. And guess what? She’d still be a proper mother. Knock it off with your nonsense. You’ve commented on other threads about women and their “roles” in society, and it was a bunch of horse shit. It stunk real bad.

Yes, a mother who stays at home with the children is also working, but quit putting your ‘proper’ labels on us. We are women, and we don’t enjoy being boxed inside of the suffocating stigma you’ve created around us.

The OP stated that she has a job outside of the home and contributes to the finances. She asked if it was realistic for a man to expect for her to do A, B, C and D by herself while the man does zilch. She didn’t ask your opinion or advice about if she should leave her outside job to do all the child rearing, housework and meatloaf cooking in her pretty string of pearls while her sweet snookums works hard to pay the mortgage.

Reality check time. Happy Wednesday to you.


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## Dr. Feelgood (May 20, 2020)

I'll go along with Karl Marx on this: "From each according to (his/her) ability, to each according to (his/her) needs."


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## Rojodi (May 27, 2020)

As many know, I was the stay-at-home parent for our son. I did the cooking, cleaning (most of it, though she did some because I didn't do it right LOL), some laundry (again, didn't do it right), and basically was a 1950s housewife. I don't understand how any man could expect his wife to be Donna Reed in the 21st century.


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## Rob hudson (May 28, 2020)

Rojodi said:
As many know, I was the stay-at-home parent for our son. I did the cooking, cleaning (most of it, though she did some because I didn't do it right LOL), some laundry (again, didn't do it right), and basically was a 1950s housewife. I don't understand how any man could expect his wife to be Donna Reed in the 21st century.


# # #

On the other hand, if both consent to such an arrangement, I don't see what's wrong with it either.
Some women, as hard as it is to believe, like the idea of taking care of the house and family. I don't know why such women get ridiculed in posts like this.
Or maybe I read it wrong. Entirely possible lol.


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## Barrett (May 28, 2020)

Rob hudson said:


> if both consent to such an arrangement, I don't see what's wrong with it either.
> Some women, as hard as it is to believe, like the idea of taking care of the house and family. I don't know why such women get ridiculed in posts like this.
> Or maybe I read it wrong. Entirely possible lol.



Yeah, you read it wrong. 
Nobody is ridiculing women in this discussion; quite the opposite. They are denouncing the antiquated, bullshit patriarchal ideal that women should be relegated to caring for the household while the men make the money and do whatever the hell else they want, other than what they see as "the woman's job."

That said, of course it is ok if that's what both sides consent to. I have a couple of women friends who believe that is how a relationship should work, and that is their choice.
It is general acceptance of that paradigm as simply "the way it should be, because men are superior" that is being put to the fire here.


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## Rob hudson (May 28, 2020)

Barrett said:
Nobody is ridiculing women in this discussion; quite the opposite. They are denouncing the antiquated, bullshit patriarchal ideal that women should be relegated to caring for the household while the men make the money and do whatever the hell else they want, other than what they see as "the woman's job."

# # #


Okay, my bad then lol. My argument was that, if both partners want that kind of relationship--the woman staying home to care for the kids and house--then there shouldn't' be anything wrong with that. But when it's expected or forced, then yes--I do get the idea. Not cool at all.


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## LarryTheNoodleGuy (Jun 24, 2020)

collared Princess said:


> Just was wondering, how many men expected their 400-500 pound wife to clean the house, cook dinner, work full time and take care of kids? Realistically?



Not me...I like cleaning, esp. for a very large woman, as well as cooking and so on. Not a problem. It's just something I like to do, regardless, it calms my mind down. My mom, who worked full time, raised me knowing how to take care of a house and to cook, and as an adult I've taken it to another level. Just put on the tunes in the earbuds, perhaps a little devil's lettuce and go nuts with the Murphy's and the vinegar and the rags and the everything, while madame takes it easy. Or get a pot of pasta going, sauce (homemade) on the side, get some greens in, some bread, set the table, voila. Ditto chicken or burgers or eggs or anything.


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