# are fat women who eat on public transport irresponsible?



## thinguyforbbw

as i am sure you all know, i am not sizeist, and i like fat women.

i have often argued with friends who say that fat people are fat because they are lazy and just stuff their faces. but one thing i notice quite a lot is that on the trains you get fat women who are eating something, and that really frustrates me, because it just makes peoples prejudice stronger that fat people are fat because of their own irresponsibility. has anyone else felt the same way?


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## thinguyforbbw

btw, i rarely see fat men eating on public transport. maybe they do, but i just notice the women, i don't know.


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## kristineirl

i rely on public transportation everyday and often see _people_ of every size eating on trains/buses. this doesn't mean they're pigs or lazy or anything, it just means they're hungry. it only irks me if they're eating sunflower seeds and spit the shells or they toss their wrappers or what not onto the floor.


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## disconnectedsmile

i take public transport to and from work daily.
i see people of all genders and sizes eating snacks and sometimes fast food meals on the bus. 

to answer the question of "are fat women who eat on public transport 
irresponsible?"
the answer is no.


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## Tau

:doh: Just because I'm fat does not mean that I do not need to eat. I am not a camel. I cannot live for months on end on the fat stored beneath my skin or in my various 'humps.' A fat woman eating does not equal some kind of horror. If you don't like looking at fat women eating don't fucking look. Fat women can eat whenever and where-ever they like. Ugh.


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## thinguyforbbw

well, i just think it is irresponsible. true, they're not doing anything wrong, but, it is still irresponsible - i mean, if they were eating a banana or apple, it would be different, but a fat lady next to me today got out a big croissant and started eating it and i felt like cringing because she was the fattest person in our compartment and was the only person eating. i sat there thinking that she is giving fat people a bad name, she should have been more responsible and waited till she left the train, i mean, in an ideal world she can eat what she likes where she likes, but in reality, we all have responsibilities, and if there is a negative stereotype against you, you should work to make sure that people change their perception, and her eating on the train just gave a really bad rep for fat people.


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## disconnectedsmile

thinguyforbbw said:


> well, i just think it is irresponsible. true, they're not doing anything wrong, but, it is still irresponsible - i mean, if they were eating a banana or apple, it would be different, but a fat lady next to me today got out a big croissant and started eating it and i felt like cringing because she was the fattest person in our compartment and was the only person eating. i sat there thinking that she is giving fat people a bad name, she should have been more responsible and waited till she left the train, i mean, in an ideal world she can eat what she likes where she likes, but in reality, we all have responsibilities, and if there is a negative stereotype against you, you should work to make sure that people change their perception, and her eating on the train just gave a really bad rep for fat people.


dude, she needed to get where she needed to go, and she was hungry. and maybe, just maybe, she didn't give a good goddamn about people's perceptions. 
and no one was forcing you to sit next to her. you could have moved your seat, or stood up if it made you so uncomfortable.
you sound like Southwest Airlines versus Kevin Smith.

furthermore...


thinguyforbbw said:


> i am not sizeist, and i like fat women.


...you could have fooled me.


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## kristineirl

thinguyforbbw said:


> well, i just think it is irresponsible. true, they're not doing anything wrong, but, it is still irresponsible - i mean, if they were eating a banana or apple, it would be different, but a fat lady next to me today got out a big croissant and started eating it and i felt like cringing because she was the fattest person in our compartment and was the only person eating. i sat there thinking that she is giving fat people a bad name, she should have been more responsible and waited till she left the train, i mean, in an ideal world she can eat what she likes where she likes, but in reality, we all have responsibilities, and if there is a negative stereotype against you, you should work to make sure that people change their perception, and her eating on the train just gave a really bad rep for fat people.



erm, that fat lady eating a croissant doesn't represent all fat people, she represents herself. while we all may have responsibilities to ourselves (whether it be our health, jobs, kids etc) i don't think anyone has the right to impose their life standards on anyone else's life, especially when they're not hurting anyone. i'm sorry if this sounds crass, but she was eating, not stabbing someone on the train.

i really don't see the problem here.


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## mossystate

thinguyforbbw said:


> as i am sure you all know, i am not sizeist, and i like fat women.
> 
> i have often argued with friends who say that fat people are fat because they are lazy and just stuff their faces. but one thing i notice quite a lot is that on the trains you get fat women who are eating something, and that really frustrates me, because it just makes peoples prejudice stronger that fat people are fat because of their own irresponsibility. has anyone else felt the same way?



Why does it frustrate you??!!! Sounds like YOU are the one with the issue, and do feel uncomfortable and apologetic in spirit, for your being attracted to fat ( deleted the ' women ', because you are not seeing the person, so why should I return the favor ). 

You might have more in common with your friends than you ever knew. Sounds harsh? Oh well. I am sick of so many people who demand that fat women get permission to live on our own terms. 

Yeah, that fat s**b should have been more responsible and kept the eating of anything not ' healthy ' ( apple or a banana???!!!!...could you get any more hateful when it comes to the food policing of fat people ? ) to a paysite on a website...or behind closed doors, water running to mask the rip of the cellophane...or, better yet, never leave her house unless she agrees to look and act EXACTLY how you would want her to act and look.

Bad rep...yeah, plenty of that to go around. As a fat woman, I am going to say you are giving those who supposedly like fat women...a bad rep.

Oh, your post has me fuming.


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## BigBrwnSugar1

thinguyforbbw said:


> well, i just think it is irresponsible. true, they're not doing anything wrong, but, it is still irresponsible - i mean, if they were eating a banana or apple, it would be different, but a fat lady next to me today got out a big croissant and started eating it and i felt like cringing because she was the fattest person in our compartment and was the only person eating. i sat there thinking that she is giving fat people a bad name, she should have been more responsible and waited till she left the train, i mean, in an ideal world she can eat what she likes where she likes, but in reality, we all have responsibilities, and if there is a negative stereotype against you, you should work to make sure that people change their perception, and her eating on the train just gave a really bad rep for fat people.




So we're only suppose to eat out of sight of others? In a closet or some other dark room. Shame on us for eating in public like "regular" folks.


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## Fallenangel2904

Wow is all I can say lol. I often DO eat on public transportation for the following reason:
When I'm eating on the go I'm usually pressed for time, and between commuting from home to my destination or vise versa, that is the ONLY time I would be able to get a meal in. Either that or starve. 

Seriously don't think it makes a difference being fat and eating on the go. I also see people of all shape, size, color, race, gender, sexual orientation EATING ON THE TRAIN/BUS! I don't think anyone really thinks 'Hmm I'm fat so maybe I shouldn't eat this sandwich on the train..." 

At the same time I DO get what you are saying. Because of the negative stereotypes society, and people who discriminate put on us (fat people), seeing a fat person stuffing their face in public might cause people to say 'Yup there goes that fattie stuffing her face." And nod in agreement with what society says.

But having said that- when your hungry- your hungry! When I hear my stomach growl, these thoughts might cross my mind, but in the end my rumbling stomach wins lol. I have got that little voice in my head that says "Oh Gosh don't stuff your face on this crowded train!' And I DON'T just stuff my face and gobble up my food. I eat discreetly. I don't think that is all because I'm fat though, think its just because I have manners honestly LOL. People may be more likely to look at me eating because I'm fat...but if I saw a skinny chick going to town on a sandwich I'd probably look too, and in fact have lol.

I had a point somewhere in my ramblings here....I don't really think, as you make it seem that we (fat people) have some sort of social responsibility to not eat in public, because it will give credence to societies viewpoint on us. Honestly though people will judge us and call us lazy whether we eat in public or not.


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## Ash

Wait. Really?

So fat women shouldn't eat in public now because it might perpetuate a stereotype? I think ideas like this set fat acceptance back WAY farther than me eating a sandwich on a bus ever could, sir. 

Fat people eat. Sometimes it happens in public. And of course some people are going to react negatively; that's life. It's no one's responsibility to appease the world, and it's pretty shitty to suggest that I can't eat when I'm hungry because someone might see and think poorly of all fat people. 

Further, in the grand scheme, this is just one more thing that people care too much about. On your average bus there's going to be a rider with crazy hair, one who just won't shut up while you're trying to read your paper, one who is far too cheerful for 7 am, and one who is fat and eating a cookie. Someone is going to be bothered by every one of these people, but that doesn't mean they should hide in their homes for fear of offending someone.


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## Tau

thinguyforbbw said:


> well, i just think it is irresponsible. true, they're not doing anything wrong, but, it is still irresponsible - i mean, if they were eating a banana or apple, it would be different, but a fat lady next to me today got out a big croissant and started eating it and i felt like cringing because she was the fattest person in our compartment and was the only person eating. i sat there thinking that she is giving fat people a bad name, she should have been more responsible and waited till she left the train, i mean, in an ideal world she can eat what she likes where she likes, but in reality, we all have responsibilities, and if there is a negative stereotype against you, you should work to make sure that people change their perception, and her eating on the train just gave a really bad rep for fat people.


 
OMG did you read what you just wrote?????  You hate fat women! You're ashamed of the fact that you want to shag them! Her eating a croissant is meant to be devastating to who exactly!!!! AAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!! Dude! Really???? People like you are the reason my 11 year old cousin won't eat in public.


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## exile in thighville

they are irresponsible yes


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## Dromond

thinguyforbbw said:


> as i am sure you all know, i am not sizeist, and i like fat women.
> 
> i have often argued with friends who say that fat people are fat because they are lazy and just stuff their faces. but one thing i notice quite a lot is that on the trains you get fat women who are eating something, and that really frustrates me, because it just makes peoples prejudice stronger that fat people are fat because of their own irresponsibility. has anyone else felt the same way?



Say WHAT?


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## Dromond

thinguyforbbw said:


> well, i just think it is irresponsible. true, they're not doing anything wrong, but, it is still irresponsible - i mean, if they were eating a banana or apple, it would be different, but a fat lady next to me today got out a big croissant and started eating it and i felt like cringing because she was the fattest person in our compartment and was the only person eating. i sat there thinking that she is giving fat people a bad name, she should have been more responsible and waited till she left the train, i mean, in an ideal world she can eat what she likes where she likes, but in reality, we all have responsibilities, and if there is a negative stereotype against you, you should work to make sure that people change their perception, and her eating on the train just gave a really bad rep for fat people.



You are making my brain hurt.


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## Blackjack

thinguyforbbw_whodoesn'teatinpublic_butonlyinmybedroom


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## Dromond

exile in thighville said:


> they are irresponsible yes



Um... why?


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## mossystate

" _at the expense of sounding like a creep, I just love sitting next to a big woman on a train - all that softness!!! So next time you're sitting there worrying about how the guy next to you might be upset that you're invading his space, just remember, he might be enjoying it!_ "


This is one of yours. So, fat women should relax when we think we are taking up too much room, but we need to be aware of our eating habits, as to not disturb that part of your senses.

Anything else?

You should write a book. Teach us, oh thinguy. So, if that big woman on a train whipped out a 3 foot long sub, would you just gently remove it from her greedy paws, and then rearrange her fat so that you could go back to your bliss? Perfect teaching moment for you!:bow:


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## Mathias

thinguyforbbw said:


> as i am sure you all know, i am not *sizeist, and i like fat women.*
> 
> i have often argued with friends who say that fat people are fat because they are lazy and just stuff their faces. but one thing i notice quite a lot is that on the trains you get fat women who are eating something, and that really frustrates me, because it just makes peoples prejudice stronger that fat people are fat because of their own irresponsibility. has anyone else felt the same way?



Just because you put that tagline before that crap doesn't make it any less insulting.


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## NYCGabriel

thinguyforbbw said:


> as i am sure you all know, i am not sizeist, and i like fat women.
> 
> i have often argued with friends who say that fat people are fat because they are lazy and just stuff their faces. but one thing i notice quite a lot is that on the trains you get fat women who are eating something, and that really frustrates me, because it just makes peoples prejudice stronger that fat people are fat because of their own irresponsibility. has anyone else felt the same way?



if I could give you negative rep, I could.


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## Weeze

I've spent years and years at school, and at restaurants and functions with friends not eating, or hiding the fact that i'm eating, and just plain going hungry for a whole day to avoid eating in front of people because I was embarrassed of myself or afraid of people judging me. I still battle this ALL THE TIME and I can't even eat normally in front of my own family. I'd like to thank you, Mr. FA, for letting me know that I should indeed feel like this, because to _eat like everyone else_ in the fucking world would be "irresponsible" of me.


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## mossystate

Mathias said:


> Just because you put that tagline before that crap doesn't make it any less insulting.



It's the classic.....fat women should just be grateful that at least a gaze is thrown our way.

I just hope enough fat women reading this decides to not give him more advice, when he is looking for peace of mind over the size of his this...or the fears of his that.

Blah.


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## Ash

Blackjack said:


> thinguyforbbw_whodoesn'teatinpublic_butonlyinmybedroom



Post of the thread.


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## Dromond

You've got to wonder what a person like him is doing on a site that promotes fat acceptance.


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## mossystate

Dromond said:


> You've got to wonder what a person like him is doing on a site that promotes fat acceptance.



There are many. They want to fuck it, but not deal with any reality.


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## cinnamitch

thinguyforbbw said:


> well, i just think it is irresponsible. true, they're not doing anything wrong, but, it is still irresponsible - i mean, if they were eating a banana or apple, it would be different, but a fat lady next to me today got out a big croissant and started eating it and i felt like cringing because she was the fattest person in our compartment and was the only person eating. i sat there thinking that she is giving fat people a bad name, she should have been more responsible and waited till she left the train, i mean, in an ideal world she can eat what she likes where she likes, but in reality, we all have responsibilities, and if there is a negative stereotype against you, you should work to make sure that people change their perception, and her eating on the train just gave a really bad rep for fat people.



So what you are saying is that a fattie should be a good fattie in public. Don't draw attention to themselves, even if it is doing something that 90% of people do, because it is just embarrassing. Way to go for making fatties the bad guys. Heaven forbid if they eat anywhere but in private.UGH


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## superodalisque

Tau said:


> OMG did you read what you just wrote?????  You hate fat women! You're ashamed of the fact that you want to shag them! Her eating a croissant is meant to be devastating to who exactly!!!! AAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!! Dude! Really???? People like you are the reason my 11 year old cousin won't eat in public. .


 
i have to agree. it kind of reminds me of black people in the US who get mad at other black folks for eating watermelon in public. its not other people who are prejudiced--its you! the person who is upset who is prejudiced. most other people probably don't even notice as much as he does. if you're fat i'm sure everyone is well aware that you eat anyway. you won't be hiding anything by eating in privately. the only thing you're doing is lying to yourself. folks can see what you eat and how much all over you anyway. i think he really needs to go back and revisit real size acceptance and not just a large sized, and in his imagination, publicly acceptable fatty. i think he is not alone in confusing the two.

one big problem i have with people who claim to love fat people is that a lot of them tend to be more ashamed and prejudiced than anyone else bar none. its not the fat people they are really worrying about . like you said its their own shame they have for liking what they like. the truth is he probably thrills at the act of watching a lovely fat woman eat at the same time he cringes because of what he may think other people's opinions are of him for liking it. its not the woman eating who is the problem. its his mind and his shame. as a fat woman myself i like feeling free to eat whatever whenever and where ever i want without bowing to the opinions of others. i won't eat more than i like and i sure as hell am not going to eat less than i like.

i'm not a closet fatty and never want to be. i'm sure a lot of people here have either never been in that prison or are trying to escape from it. its an uncomfortable and not a genuine place to be. like most people who are fat i want to be free to be me. i really reject the idea that i need to fit into someone else's shame ridden mold just to make them more comfortable with their sexual drives. respectfully: the best thing he can do for fat women is to stop being a coward. how in the hell do you think the fat women you desire get that way. GTFU.


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## exile in thighville

Dromond said:


> Um... why?



isn't it self-evident

eating on the subway is detrimental to fat women everywhere


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## NYCGabriel

ThinGuy, just delete your account now. Do us a favor and delete it.


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## mossystate

Yes...we would be falling to the floor, trying to hoover all the crumbs...those aisles are narrow....big fat woman in small space....duh.


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## imfree

Tau said:


> :doh: Just because I'm fat does not mean that I do not need to eat. I am not a camel. I cannot live for months on end on the fat stored beneath my skin or in my various 'humps.' A fat woman eating does not equal some kind of horror. If you don't like looking at fat women eating don't fucking look. Fat women can eat whenever and where-ever they like. Ugh.



It's horrifying that the general population thinks it's 
better to be dead than fat and that fat people
shouldn't have the right to eat, go figure.


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## CastingPearls

It's bad enough that there are people walking the streets (and taking the train) with your twisted viewpoint but the one I really pity is the theoretical BBW who you may get involved with. Do you intend to interrogate her on her eating habits or authorize appropriate meal plans? When you set eyes on her and fall truly madly deeply in love, will you know in that instant that she will never have consumed in her entire lifetime a Little Debbie because you KNOW she's 'responsible'? Maybe you don't see fat guys eating 'irresponsibly' because you know in your heart that you're a coward and they'd knock you on your ass if you revealed an iota of the disgust you've displayed here.


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## superodalisque

exile in thighville said:


> isn't it self-evident
> 
> eating on the subway is detrimental to fat women everywhere



yeah just like saying they like to gain in public. its horribly irresponsible too right? most of the guys here really need to stop judging women so much at let them be who and what they are. if they don't like a certain woman or her ways of doing things they need to be grown up enough and respectful enough of another human being to leave her alone to do her own thing. but unfortunately a lot of guys here feel they have the right to prescribe how a fat woman should act in public.


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## Blackjack

mossystate said:


> big fat woman in small space....duh.



Be still my throbbing penis!


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## cinnamitch

Dromond said:


> You've got to wonder what a person like him is doing on a site that promotes fat acceptance.



Wanking in his bedroom with the blinds closed in all probability.


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## kristineirl

yeah, i'm just gonna pretend he asked "are fat women who eat on public transport irresistible?" and answer "yes." 

*kristineirl washes her hands of this thread*


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## cinnamitch

I say we go find him. Put him on a bus with a bunch of us and eat cheesecake and sundaes and take the pictures with him in the middle and send it to all his friends and family.


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## superodalisque

cinnamitch said:


> I say we go find him. Put him on a bus with a bunch of us and eat cheesecake and sundaes and take the pictures with him in the middle and send it to all his friends and family.



darnit! it wouldn't let me rep you!


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## Blackjack

cinnamitch said:


> I say we go find him. Put him on a bus with a bunch of us and eat cheesecake and sundaes and take the pictures with him in the middle and send it to all his friends and family.



His parental units might disown him then, though!


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## AnnMarie

thinguyforbbw said:


> well, i just think it is irresponsible. true, they're not doing anything wrong, but, it is still irresponsible - i mean, if they were eating a banana or apple, it would be different, but a fat lady next to me today got out a big croissant and started eating it and i felt like cringing because she was the fattest person in our compartment and was the only person eating. i sat there thinking that she is giving fat people a bad name, she should have been more responsible and waited till she left the train, i mean, in an ideal world she can eat what she likes where she likes, but in reality, we all have responsibilities, and if there is a negative stereotype against you, you should work to make sure that people change their perception, and her eating on the train just gave a really bad rep for fat people.




Yeah, we fat ladies owe it to you to keep presentable, quiet, and minding our Ps & Qs. We'll only sneak food in hiding like good fatties. 


Maybe seeing fat women eat in public makes you uncomfortable for other reasons, maybe you see something there you like and project your feeling about that onto the women,... that it's somehow their fault that they're doing something that is drawing YOUR attention, so therefore it must be drawing everyone's?


You need to worry about your own life and let people live as they will. If a skinny man or woman can eat whatever they want when/where they want, then so can I or any other fat woman.


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## cinnamitch

Blackjack said:


> His parental units might disown him then, though!



Hey i know of someone who might need a roommate, seems he might be in the same position of being disowned


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## LovelyLiz

Dromond said:


> You've got to wonder what a person like him is doing on a site that promotes fat acceptance.



It's a multi-faceted site.

What I don't understand is, some people will pay $19.95 to see a video of a fat woman eating a croissant on a train, and here she was doing it for free. Far from irresponsible, it was really a public service for all the men who can't afford the fee. (Yeah, that was terrible. But it had to be said... )

Okay, but seriously, yeah. Hungry people are allowed to eat when they're hungry. No individual fattie is de facto responsible for fattie PR. The only people who are going to make these broad-based generalizations about the lazy and unhealthy habits of all fat people when they see a fat person eating in public, are people who already have judgmental, critical thoughts toward fat-people; which is why the OP's statement about loving fat women seems clearly false.


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## BothGunsBlazing

I think FAs who go out in public with fat women are irresponsible. I think it gives fat women a false sense of confidence and beauty. 

If they think it's ok to be fat, they will never lose weight and therefore be doomed to a life of fatness and potentially eating in public and that is not a world I want to live in.


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## disconnectedsmile

kristineirl said:


> yeah, i'm just gonna pretend he asked "are fat women who eat on public transport irresistible?" and answer "yes."



this ......


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## Blackjack

mcbeth said:


> What I don't understand is, some people will pay $19.95 to see a video of a fat woman eating a croissant on a train, and here she was doing it for free. Far from irresponsible, it was really a public service for all the men who can't afford the fee. (Yeah, that was terrible. But it had to be said... )



The big difference, though, is that she can eat that croissant on a train, but I can't fap to it on a train.

Damn law.


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## Blackjack

Blackjack said:


> The big difference, though, is that she can eat that croissant on a train, but I can't fap to it on a train.
> 
> Damn law.



I fought the law and the LAW WON

I fought the law and the LAW WON

Saw a fatty eatin' a HOT BUN

Pulled my dick out but the LAW WON

Pulled my dick out but the LAW WON



ETA: a work in progress


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## exile in thighville

NYCGabriel said:


> ThinGuy, just delete your account now. Do us a favor and delete it.



jump jump jump


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## CastingPearls

Tiguan is SO ten minutes ago. <cancels Team Tiguan tee-shirt>


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## KHayes666

I don't like lynch mobs but in this case its justified.

How can someone who claim to like size acceptance bitch about people eating in public? People have very busy lives and can't exactly eat when they want to, so excuse them for only being able to eat while riding somewhere.

And people why I don't want to associate myself with most "F/A's"....just one headache after another.


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## NYCGabriel

thinguyforbbw said:


> as i am sure you all know, i am not sizeist, and i like fat women.
> 
> i have often argued with friends who say that fat people are fat because they are lazy and just stuff their faces. but one thing i notice quite a lot is that on the trains you get fat women who are eating something, and that really frustrates me, because it just makes peoples prejudice stronger that fat people are fat because of their own irresponsibility. has anyone else felt the same way?



I'm 6'1, 6'2 and I weigh 240 lbs. am I being irresponsible when I eat my breakfast on the train? I guess I must be going by this logic.


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## exile in thighville

KHayes666 said:


> I don't like lynch mobs but in this case its justified.



nahnahnahnah


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## Rosebud

thinguyforbbw said:


> as i am sure you all know, i am not sizeist, and i like fat women.
> 
> i have often argued with friends who say that fat people are fat because they are lazy and just stuff their faces. but one thing i notice quite a lot is that on the trains you get fat women who are eating something, and that really frustrates me, because it just makes peoples prejudice stronger that fat people are fat because of their own irresponsibility. has anyone else felt the same way?




I have done a disservice to fat women everywhere. have eaten on public transportation, in my car during the daytime, at buffets (where I have gone back for more than one plate of food), at parties and picnics where thin folks are present. I've been known to order more than one entree and several desserts. I've gone grocery shopping and filled my cart with all kinds of foods, sometimes cookies or ice cream, instead of only apples and bananas. I don't know why I do these things. I think it is trendy to blame my upbringing or television.

All that matters is I am very very sorry and I will stop my wicked ways. I will only eat in my home, with the blinds drawn and music playing, so no one outside will hear me gobbling down my dinner. 

Seriously, think about what you've said and why YOU have a problem with fat women eating. We are the ones who need to change.


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## Carrie

Seriously, god knows how many little french kids were exploited in the making of that fatty's tasty croissant. It _is_ irresponsible.


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## KHayes666

exile in thighville said:


> nahnahnahnah



Unless the dude is 18 or something and has never seen the real world, there's no excuse for finding someone eating in public to be "irresponsible".


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## spiritangel

OMG does this mean as an SSBBW I shouldnt eat in public? seriously I mean I get the same glares if I am eating a ham and salad sandwich on wholegrain bread as I do if I am treating myself to something junky wich by the way happends once in a blue moon. You dont know my life you do not know what I do or do not eat behind closed doors you dont know when I last ate ect sorry but I find that horribly judgemental and rude. People are going to think what they want to think not matter if I eat on public transport or not. And Yes I am guilty of it, I used to catch trains and ferrys to work every day and eat my breakfast on the train as it saved time in the mornings. I have made poor choices at times and my Fat sisters have to appologise for making you all look bad it was me. Sorry but seriously thats like saying skinny chicks should only be seen eating salad and nothing but salad. The stereotypes are there for a reason, and I hate to say this and am certainly not the first to do so eating in public isnt going to change that there is a perception that If I choose something healthy I am on a diet if I eat junk I am a slob and the only way that is going to change is if the people in society change how the view larger people. And not eating on public transport is not going to change that. The only way to ever truly know someones life is to walk a mile in their shoes or have a deep understanding or empathy, and the fact that diet companies perpetuate the myth that we all need to be skinny to be happy and have fun then that is not going to change in a hurry.

Steps off soapbox

PS Is a diabetic eating something to raise their sugar levels in public irresponsible? is a mother feeding her child in public irresponsible? just something to ponder as then we all would have to stop eating in public


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## sarie

my first thought is 'surely you jest.'

but i've got some good news for you!: i very rarely eat in public unless i am in a place whose sole purpose is for humans to eat (exempli gratia: a restaurant). that said, i knew (thought?) that i was crazy for having a complex - that if i eat in public people would be grossed out or think 'why on earth is that person eating?! stop eating!' - and deep down i truly believed that my thought process was so irrational; thinking 'there is no way any human could care enough to even _think_ that it was 'irresponsible' of me to be eating at a bar or while riding public transport etc.'. i should add that the thought has literally never even crossed my mind when looking at another fat person to think that they should share this complex.

how ironic that the _one_ person i've ever encountered who actually thinks this way is posting said thoughts on a fat acceptance forum. 

postscript: in a weird fucked up way, i agree with you; yet somehow everything you're saying is irktastic. i think it's a classic case of: 'i can talk shit about my mom but you can't', because i'm a fat girl and i'm allowed to think weird/nonsensical things like this, but you're not! or something. kbye.


----------



## joswitch

thinguyforbbw said:


> well, i just think it is irresponsible. true, they're not doing anything wrong, but, it is still irresponsible - i mean, if they were eating a banana or apple, it would be different, but a fat lady next to me today got out a big croissant and started eating it and i felt like cringing because she was the fattest person in our compartment and was the only person eating. i sat there thinking that she is giving fat people a bad name, she should have been more responsible and waited till she left the train, i mean, in an ideal world she can eat what she likes where she likes, but in reality, we all have responsibilities, and if there is a negative stereotype against you, you should work to make sure that people change their perception, and her eating on the train just gave a really bad rep for fat people.



ALARM!ALARM!

: TROLLGUARD 3.14
: TROLL DETECTION EVENT 
: THREAT LEVEL: WEAK
: RECOMMENDED ACTION: IGNORE / QUARANTINE


----------



## joswitch

Dromond said:


> You've got to wonder what a person like him is doing on a site that promotes fat acceptance.



Trolling. (See above).


----------



## spiritangel

joswitch said:


> ALARM!ALARM!
> 
> : TROLLGUARD 3.14
> : TROLL DETECTION EVENT
> : THREAT LEVEL: WEAK
> : RECOMMENDED ACTION: IGNORE / QUARANTINE



darn it out of rep and you deserve it to, hmm has anyone else spoken to tinnyguyforbbw on yahoo or am I one of the few? although I blocked him after one conversation he is making more sense to me now.


----------



## joswitch

superodalisque said:


> yeah just like saying they like to gain in public. its horribly irresponsible too right? most of the guys here really need to stop judging women so much at let them be who and what they are. if they don't like a certain woman or her ways of doing things they need to be grown up enough and respectful enough of another human being to leave her alone to do her own thing. but unfortunately *a lot of guys here feel they have the right to prescribe how a fat woman should act in public.*



*cough* ^I count exactly *one*, so far...

(pretty sure Dan was with the sarcasm there, it is his default setting, after all. Bad Dan! for throwing petrol on burning thread.)


----------



## Tau

cinnamitch said:


> I say we go find him. Put him on a bus with a bunch of us and eat cheesecake and sundaes and take the pictures with him in the middle and send it to all his friends and family.



Oh yes please!!!  And we'll rub it into our boobies and burp!!!


----------



## joswitch

mcbeth said:


> It's a multi-faceted site.
> 
> What I don't understand is, some people will pay $19.95 to see a video of a fat woman eating a croissant on a train, and here she was doing it for free. Far from irresponsible, it was really a public service for all the men who can't afford the fee. (Yeah, that was terrible. But it had to be said... )



Lolz! yeah, before I clicked on the thread I thought it was going to be some dink complaining about suffering from teh involuntary bonerz in public! 

But it was worse...



> Okay, but seriously, yeah. Hungry people are allowed to eat when they're hungry. No individual fattie is de facto responsible for fattie PR. The only people who are going to make these broad-based generalizations about the lazy and unhealthy habits of all fat people when they see a fat person eating in public, are people who already have judgmental, critical thoughts toward fat-people; which is why the OP's statement about loving fat women seems clearly false.



^Truth.


----------



## spiritangel

Tau said:


> Oh yes please!!!



ermmm no I think hed enjoy that too much


----------



## LovelyLiz

spiritangel said:


> darn it out of rep and you deserve it to, hmm has anyone else spoken to tinnyguyforbbw on yahoo or am I one of the few? although I blocked him after one conversation he is making more sense to me now.



There's another guy tinyguyforssbbw who chats people up on yahoo, and he doesn't live in the UK he lives in the Southwestern US. This OP is missing the SS, for the record.


----------



## CastingPearls

mcbeth said:


> There's another guy tinyguyforssbbw who chats people up on yahoo, and he doesn't live in the UK he lives in the Southwestern US. This OP is missing the SS, for the record.


Right--I've talked to the other guy I think. Thanks---I thought there was another....


----------



## Dromond

joswitch said:


> Trolling. (See above).



Sometimes you've just got to poke the troll.


----------



## Saoirse

Now Im hungry.


----------



## spiritangel

mcbeth said:


> There's another guy tinyguyforssbbw who chats people up on yahoo, and he doesn't live in the UK he lives in the Southwestern US. This OP is missing the SS, for the record.



hugs ahh so two diff guys I had no idea it was such a quick thing and quite some time ago


----------



## mszwebs

OP:

It's only irresponsible if my responsibility as a fat woman is to make sure you're comfortable in your closet.

But it's not.

So instead, I'd rather just fulfill the responsibility I have to my self and eat when I have the need; be it when I'm sitting safely at home, far far away from the big bad public or when I'm out and about, in need of a big assed croissanty snack.

I will eat when in the rain
I will eat when on a train...


----------



## Blackjack

mszwebs said:


> I will eat when in the rain
> I will eat when on a train...



Will you eat while sitting on my face?

...please?

ETA: I'm perverted as fuck tonight and I apologize... but it's just too damn fun.


----------



## LisaInNC

Really? Really? I have an idea...next time you see a fat woman eating in public why dont you tell her she is irresponsible..then maybe she will shove her sandwich up your butt right before she punches you in the wiener.


----------



## LovelyLiz

mszwebs said:


> I will eat when in the rain
> I will eat when on a train...



Perfect reference!!!!


----------



## mszwebs

BothGunsBlazing said:


> I think FAs who go out in public with fat women are irresponsible. I think it gives fat women a false sense of confidence and beauty.
> 
> If they think it's ok to be fat, they will never lose weight and therefore be doomed to a life of fatness and potentially eating in public and that is not a world I want to live in.



OMG, I laughed so hard when reading that. Phew. My sides.



Blackjack said:


> Will you eat while sitting on my face?
> 
> ...please?
> 
> ETA: I'm perverted as fuck tonight and I apologize... but it's just too damn fun.


----------



## furious styles

i thought this thread was called "are fat women who eat on public transport irresistible?"

i was planning on saying 'yes'


----------



## mossystate

Dromond said:


> Sometimes you've just got to poke the troll.



Yup. And, for every known or suspected troll, there are others reading this who need to feel the anger, because the sentiment expressed by the OP is all too common...for real.....us fat people know this, no matter how we are told we are not supposed to react. So much teaching some have for us, dontcha know.


----------



## DitzyBrunette

NYCGabriel said:


> I'm 6'1, 6'2 and I weigh 240 lbs.



Sexy :happy:


----------



## Paquito

Fat people shouldn't be allowed to eat _ever_.

Gosh, when will the people of Dimensions, a _fucking size acceptance website_, realize that good fatties need to just sit there quietly and be available for secret rendezvous with FAs who refuse to be in public with them.

GOSH


----------



## Lamia

thinguyforbbw said:


> as i am sure you all know, i am not sizeist, and i like fat women.
> 
> i have often argued with friends who say that fat people are fat because they are lazy and just stuff their faces. but one thing i notice quite a lot is that on the trains you get fat women who are eating something, and that really frustrates me, because it just makes peoples prejudice stronger that fat people are fat because of their own irresponsibility. has anyone else felt the same way?



I spent the vast majority of my life NOT eating in front of people just for the reasons you've stated. It doesn't make one damn bit of difference because people who have a problem with you being fat don't give a shit if you're eating a "sammich" or not. They assume you sit at home hoovering food into your face in mass quantities. 

The world can just f%$ing deal with seeing me eat. My best friend who is overweight would get fast food and eat it in her car while the rest of us would go inside and eat. How is that fair? That's bullshit the restrictions we put on ourselves just to make other people happy. 

I really do think you're trying, but you've got a long way to go to learn about fat acceptance. 

Acceptance doesn't have exceptions.


----------



## NYCGabriel

DitzyBrunette said:


> Sexy :happy:



gracias, hermosa!


----------



## BigBeautifulMe

His banana and apple suggestion was his last post in this thread, and his last post on the boards overall. Hmmmm. lol


----------



## Rosebud

BigBeautifulMe said:


> His banana and apple suggestion was his last post in this thread, and his last post on the boards overall. Hmmmm. lol




He'll be back. He's out riding the train with a basket of fruit for the fatties.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I'm the fat bitch that stands in line for concessions in a full movie theater and loudly states that there needs to be as much butter as there is popcorn in the big tub I'm buying. 

I would run over anyone that had shit to say to me when I had crumbs all over me from the fried chicken I ate on the way home yesterday. I thought the policeman up ahead meant a roadblock but instead he was just directing traffic. 
Wonder what the cops would have thought about my appearance while there was an open bucket of chicken beside me.

Know what? I don't care. 


If people are ignorant or misguided enough to judge me as a person simply by what I eat or don't eat, then why would I care what they think? THAT would make ME the stupid one, eh?


----------



## katherine22

thinguyforbbw said:


> as i am sure you all know, i am not sizeist, and i like fat women.
> 
> i have often argued with friends who say that fat people are fat because they are lazy and just stuff their faces. but one thing i notice quite a lot is that on the trains you get fat women who are eating something, and that really frustrates me, because it just makes peoples prejudice stronger that fat people are fat because of their own irresponsibility. has anyone else felt the same way?



Your argument is that a fat woman should never be hungry and be seen eating on public transportation? You fail to discuss the possiblility that those people doing the judging would benefit from a change in perception? A


----------



## superodalisque

joswitch said:


> *cough* ^I count exactly *one*, so far...
> 
> (pretty sure Dan was with the sarcasm there, it is his default setting, after all. Bad Dan! for throwing petrol on burning thread.)



in this thread maybe but overall there is some strikingly weird hypocrisy going on here. i cant pretend i don't notice it.


----------



## skunkspot

They're only being irresponsible if they're the one driving.


----------



## superodalisque

Paquito said:


> Fat people shouldn't be allowed to eat _ever_.
> 
> Gosh, when will the people of Dimensions, a _fucking size acceptance website_, realize that good fatties need to just sit there quietly and be available for secret rendezvous with FAs who refuse to be in public with them.
> 
> GOSH



fat women don't really eat. they just inflate


----------



## PamelaLois

superodalisque said:


> darnit! it wouldn't let me rep you!


Got him for you!

ETA It's only irresponsible if there are rules against eating on public transport as there are in Chicago (though people do all the time) or if you are flinging crumbs and wrappers all over your neighbors. But, people gotta eat, that was always an argument I had with my dad about smoking. I said it was easier to quit smoking than to lose weight because people have to eat to live, and you don't have to smoke to live. GRRRR, Thinguy really made me angry with his holier-than-thou attitude.


----------



## Fat.n.sassy

thinguyforbbw said:


> well, i just think it is irresponsible. true, they're not doing anything wrong, but, it is still irresponsible - i mean, if they were eating a banana or apple, it would be different, but a fat lady next to me today got out a big croissant and started eating it and i felt like cringing because she was the fattest person in our compartment and was the only person eating. i sat there thinking that she is giving fat people a bad name, she should have been more responsible and waited till she left the train, i mean, in an ideal world she can eat what she likes where she likes, but in reality, we all have responsibilities, and if there is a negative stereotype against you, you should work to make sure that people change their perception, and her eating on the train just gave a really bad rep for fat people.



I hope you'll forgive me...this may not be the case at all, however, reading your post(s), I get the feeling that you speak (write) from the position of an undercover FA or as if you _may_ admire fat women ~ but only if they "keep their place", making sure not to behave as a 'typical' fat person. I grew up in this sort of an atmosphere~_shamed_. I was always discouraged from acting as though I enjoyed my food. I suppose that's what makes me react so emotionally to your post. 

In future, you may want to keep in mind that fat people in general may not feel comfortable enough to eat at work at even at home because of well meaning 'food police'.


----------



## imfree

PamelaLois said:


> Got him for you!
> 
> ETA It's only irresponsible if there are rules against eating on public transport as there are in Chicago (though people do all the time) or if you are flinging crumbs and wrappers all over your neighbors. But, people gotta eat, that was always an argument I had with my dad about smoking. *I said it was easier to quit smoking than to lose weight because people have to eat to live, and you don't have to smoke to live. * GRRRR, Thinguy really made me angry with his holier-than-thou attitude.



Precisely my argument to all self-righteous skinnies
who judge me, especially my father.


----------



## Emma

Can't believe a troll thread has gone on this long... oh wait.. its dims


----------



## BoomSnap

At first I thought this was a troll of epic proportions, but the post was filled with just enough creepy ramblings to make me think otherwise. But my question to you thinguyforbbw is what are you doing riding public transportation when you no doubt have a van with all the windows tinted darker than Hades, hmm?


----------



## imfree

Don't stare at this wreck, just drive on past!


----------



## LovelyLiz

Lamia said:


> I spent the vast majority of my life NOT eating in front of people just for the reasons you've stated. *It doesn't make one damn bit of difference because people who have a problem with you being fat don't give a shit if you're eating a "sammich" or not.* They assume you sit at home hoovering food into your face in mass quantities.
> SNIPPED



To me, this is a key point in the thread. Fat haters are going to hate the fat person on the train no matter what. They are going to assume things, no matter what. 

So eat the damn croissant (if you like croissants) and don't worry about it. The people who are going to judge you for that would judge you no matter what.


----------



## Mathias

Wow, still open? :doh:


----------



## Lamia

For any of you who are interested I've decided to start an Irresponsible Public Transport Eaters Anonymous group. IPTEA is here to help you learn how to navigate through this world creating the least amount of conjecture about your eating habits. Here are ways to fool people into thinking you eat responsibly. I have a 12 step program.

Step 1. Don't be seen eating...EVER. Even when at home it's best to eat under the cover of darkness. You should convert a closet into an eating room for maximum privacy.
Step 2. Be seen with your mouth sewn shut that will throw people off. 
Step 3. If you must eat because you're so irresponsible only be seen with fruit. 
Step 4. Spend your time on public transport doing jumping jacks or knee bends people think you exercise all the time.
Step 5. Talk about your diet and how much weight you've lost people will admire you and be relieved that you're being responsible. 
Step 6. Punch yourself in the face and yell "fatty" over and over. People will be glad that you're punishing yourself and have relieved them of their responsiblity. 
Step 7. Prop a banana in your cleavage and slowly eat it this will make the men think about you eating their penis and then they won't care how irresponsible you are.
Step 8. If people see you eating tell them that you're in a fat suit doing research for a role. 
Step 9. Put a Chiquita sticker on your forehead so that people will know that you have eaten a banana sometime that day. Also it's pretty and the blue will bring out your eyes.
Step 10. Pretend to be talking on the phone to your nutrionist....extra points if it's about fruit.
Step 11. Wear a wedding ring so people will think someone values you even though you're irresponsible. 
Step 12. Look miserable and unhappy so that people who hate themselves can at least feel better that they aren't an irresponsible fat slob like yourself. 

Please practice these 12 steps and make society a better place for the fat impaired.


----------



## imfree

Lamia said:


> For any of you who are interested I've decided to start an Irresponsible Public Transport Eaters Anonymous group. IPTEA is here to help you learn how to navigate through this world creating the least amount of conjecture about your eating habits. Here are ways to fool people into thinking you eat responsibly. I have a 12 step program.
> 
> Step 1. Don't be seen eating...EVER. Even when at home it's best to eat under the cover of darkness. You should convert a closet into an eating room for maximum privacy.
> Step 2. Be seen with your mouth sewn shut that will throw people off.
> Step 3. If you must eat because you're so irresponsible only be seen with fruit.
> Step 4. Spend your time on public transport doing jumping jacks or knee bends people think you exercise all the time.
> Step 5. Talk about your diet and how much weight you've lost people will admire you and be relieved that you're being responsible.
> Step 6. Punch yourself in the face and yell "fatty" over and over. People will be glad that you're punishing yourself and have relieved them of their responsiblity.
> Step 7. Prop a banana in your cleavage and slowly eat it this will make the men think about you eating their penis and then they won't care how irresponsible you are.
> Step 8. If people see you eating tell them that you're in a fat suit doing research for a role.
> Step 9. Put a Chiquita sticker on your forehead so that people will know that you have eaten a banana sometime that day. Also it's pretty and the blue will bring out your eyes.
> Step 10. Pretend to be talking on the phone to your nutrionist....extra points if it's about fruit.
> Step 11. Wear a wedding ring so people will think someone values you even though you're irresponsible.
> Step 12. Look miserable and unhappy so that people who hate themselves can at least feel better that they aren't an irresponsible fat slob like yourself.
> 
> Please practice these 12 steps and make society a better place for the fat impaired.



Ya' know, I didn't even have to read past the second
sentence to smell a 12 step program.

I guess the shrinks and "experts" have all the 
answers.:doh:

*It aun't whatcha' eat that's killin' ya' it's 
what's eatin you that's really killin' ya'!

I think it's really a media-driven 
mind-game.


----------



## elle camino

Hahahaha seriously, no joke: the only kind of food I've ever eaten on a bus is a croissant. And I basically do that every single morning. A ham and cheese croissant, no less. 

Oh man what if this guy's talking about me. RAD.


----------



## Lamia

elle camino said:


> Hahahaha seriously, no joke: the only kind of food I've ever eaten on a bus is a croissant. And I basically do that every single morning. A ham and cheese croissant, no less.
> 
> Oh man what if this guy's talking about me. RAD.



AH HA!!! soooo you're the culprit!!


----------



## Wild Zero

ITT: Thinguy cancels out the second half of his username and shoots himself in the dick in record time.


----------



## Laura2008

thinguyforbbw said:


> well, i just think it is irresponsible. true, they're not doing anything wrong, but, it is still irresponsible - i mean, if they were eating a banana or apple, it would be different, but a fat lady next to me today got out a big croissant and started eating it and i felt like cringing because she was the fattest person in our compartment and was the only person eating. i sat there thinking that she is giving fat people a bad name, she should have been more responsible and waited till she left the train, i mean, in an ideal world she can eat what she likes where she likes, but in reality, we all have responsibilities, and if there is a negative stereotype against you, you should work to make sure that people change their perception, and her eating on the train just gave a really bad rep for fat people.



Maybe she should just stay at home and eat in private. She should know better than to eat in front of others *gasp*.

/sarcasm


----------



## wrench13

thinguyforbbw said:


> as i am sure you all know, i am not sizeist, and i like fat women.
> 
> i have often argued with friends who say that fat people are fat because they are lazy and just stuff their faces. but one thing i notice quite a lot is that on the trains you get fat women who are eating something, and that really frustrates me, because it just makes peoples prejudice stronger that fat people are fat because of their own irresponsibility. has anyone else felt the same way?



* Unbelievable. I thought I had read every possible stupid post on here and now this shows up. *


----------



## IrishBard

never underestimate the power of stupid people!


----------



## thinguyforbbw

ok, I am only going to make one post on this thread, because I like this community and I do not want people to be upset or anything.

I must say, I find the attitude of people on this thread quite disturbing. I thought this was a community all about acceptance, fat acceptance, race acceptance, religion acceptance, differing points of views acceptance, but I guess I was wrong.

Did anyone even bother reading what I wrote? Or did they selectively just read the bits they wanted to read? If you actually bothered reading what I wrote, it would have been clear that the reason I find it disturbing when I see a fat person eating on public transportation is because it just reinforces the stereotype that fat people (especially women) are lazy and just stuff their faces 24/7. And I hate negative stereotypes. You can all sit in front of your computers and call others name and accuse them of hating fat people, but you know nothing about me. At 5 ft 7 and being extremely thin, I have been called anorexic, made fun of by people in the street, endured sarcastic comments like "Arnie" or "big guy" etc, so I am the last person who would go around discriminating someone because of their size. But at the same time, I am a realist, and the reality is, people do have negative stereotypes about others. In a utopia you would tell everyone that their stereotype is wrong, and the whole world would live happily ever after, in reality, things are different, and we all have a responsibility. I mean, when it is hot, do I walk around bare chested? How many of you so-called anti-sizeists can honestly say that if you saw a 32 year old guy with a pathetic skinny body like that of a teenage kid walking around bare-chested who everyone was staring at, you would not feel a bit embarrassed for him?

People are different, and not all fat people are comfortable with being fat. Why should one of you be able to tell a fat person that they should be happy being fat? Who are you to make that decision? What we should tell people is that they should be happy being what they feel happy with, and that can be fat, or thin. One is not better than the other.

So, yes, when that fat woman took out a croissant and started eating and when everyone was looking at her, yes, it did make me cringe. It made me cringe because it gave people the opportunity to reinforce the negative stereotype about fat women. In an ideal world, everyone would accept that we're different sizes, and love this fact, and have no stereotype. But we do not live in an ideal world. I personally thought it was irresponsible of her, and that if she was hungry, she should have eaten something healthier like a banana or apple or low-fat yoghurt that would have given off a positive image for other fat people. This is my opinion, and I won't change is just because some people choose to be immature and resort to name calling.


----------



## Leonard

thinguyforbbw, if you really love big, beautiful women, you should stop worrying what other people think of their eating habits and just love them. Wouldn't that make everything a whole lot easier? If you did, you'd be that much closer to this "ideal world" you speak of. Seriously, why care what the other people on the train think?


----------



## Lamia

thinguyforbbw said:


> ok, I am only going to make one post on this thread, because I like this community and I do not want people to be upset or anything.
> 
> I must say, I find the attitude of people on this thread quite disturbing. I thought this was a community all about acceptance, fat acceptance, race acceptance, religion acceptance, differing points of views acceptance, but I guess I was wrong.
> 
> Did anyone even bother reading what I wrote? Or did they selectively just read the bits they wanted to read? If you actually bothered reading what I wrote, it would have been clear that the reason I find it disturbing when I see a fat person eating on public transportation is because it just reinforces the stereotype that fat people (especially women) are lazy and just stuff their faces 24/7. And I hate negative stereotypes. You can all sit in front of your computers and call others name and accuse them of hating fat people, but you know nothing about me. At 5 ft 7 and being extremely thin, I have been called anorexic, made fun of by people in the street, endured sarcastic comments like "Arnie" or "big guy" etc, so I am the last person who would go around discriminating someone because of their size. But at the same time, I am a realist, and the reality is, people do have negative stereotypes about others. In a utopia you would tell everyone that their stereotype is wrong, and the whole world would live happily ever after, in reality, things are different, and we all have a responsibility. I mean, when it is hot, do I walk around bare chested? How many of you so-called anti-sizeists can honestly say that if you saw a 32 year old guy with a pathetic skinny body like that of a teenage kid walking around bare-chested who everyone was staring at, you would not feel a bit embarrassed for him?
> 
> People are different, and not all fat people are comfortable with being fat. Why should one of you be able to tell a fat person that they should be happy being fat? Who are you to make that decision? What we should tell people is that they should be happy being what they feel happy with, and that can be fat, or thin. One is not better than the other.
> 
> So, yes, when that fat woman took out a croissant and started eating and when everyone was looking at her, yes, it did make me cringe. It made me cringe because it gave people the opportunity to reinforce the negative stereotype about fat women. In an ideal world, everyone would accept that we're different sizes, and love this fact, and have no stereotype. But we do not live in an ideal world. I personally thought it was irresponsible of her, and that if she was hungry, she should have eaten something healthier like a banana or apple or low-fat yoghurt that would have given off a positive image for other fat people. This is my opinion, and I won't change is just because some people choose to be immature and resort to name calling.



The people who cringed at her eating we're all ready cringing. Don't you understand that? The problem you're facing here is that you are on a fat acceptance site telling people it's not acceptable to be seen in public eating. You're so far off target it's incomprehensible, hence the reaction you have received. This isn't the same as having differing political views. This is having an opinion that is UNACCEPTABLE in this community. 

I understand what you are saying. I don't think anyone has misunderstood you. You're saying don't perpetuate the stereotype by eating unhealthy in public because it makes fat people look bad. Dimensions isn't about making the world comfortable by hiding or lying. 

I got fat by eating unhealthy I don't weigh 425 lbs because I ate lots of bananas and apples.


----------



## Tmhays87

thinguyforbbw said:


> as i am sure you all know, i am not sizeist, and i like fat women.
> 
> i have often argued with friends who say that fat people are fat because they are lazy and just stuff their faces. but one thing i notice quite a lot is that on the trains you get fat women who are eating something, and that really frustrates me, because it just makes peoples prejudice stronger that fat people are fat because of their own irresponsibility. has anyone else felt the same way?



This just stinks...to high Heaven. You do realize you've pretty much exposed yourself as exactly the type of person that every proud fat person (of which there are many on this board - duh!) has to fight against on a daily basis, right? It may not be expressed outright, as you so stupidly did on a fat acceptance board, but sentiments such as yours are hurtful and they are felt in the looks, glances, giggles, unsavory comments left on Internet comment boards, etc. that most of us experience regularly, if not every day.

As a fat person, I do feel a certain level of paranoia when it comes to a lot of the things I do, for fear of being judged (or, at least, judged more harshly) because I am fat and "shouldn't" be doing them. I hate this about myself, but society continues to perpetuate a culture where fat people are freely described and thought of as gluttonous, unsightly, gross, dirty, smelly, slothly, disconnected, careless, irresponsible, etc. This creates a burdening pressure to try to avoid seeming like any of these things. It is a horribly unfair and unjust situation to face, and I try to bolster my confidence so that I can just live my life and not worry about it, but it is very hard to accomplish. For other people who are larger than I am, and especially for women, it is even harder. Posts like yours reveal feelings that do nothing but add to the problem.

In summation, thank you for allowing us all to see the kind of person you really are...a shallow person who doesn't mind, and maybe even likes, fat people - just as long as they're staying in society's prescribed lines. You make me sick. If you haven't already, I strongly suggest fucking off.


----------



## CrankySpice

I was on the train the other day, and I saw this super-skinny, like seriously almost anorexic, thin guy just sitting there and not eating. Everyone on the train was staring at him, and all I could think was...why is he reinforcing the stereotype? Why isn't he stuffing his face with cheeseburgers and ho-ho's so everyone on the train could sigh with relief and finally look away, satisfied that his condition was probably metabolic and not a result of his irresponsible lack of eating?

It made me cringe. Don't get me wrong, I love thin guys, but really...I didn't know how to handle this. I'm thinking I may need to load down my purse with potato chips and cupcakes so I can offer them to him if I see him again.

At least he wasn't eating an apple or something. That would've really pushed the entire compartment over the edge. swear.


----------



## TraciJo67

thinguyforbbw said:


> So, yes, when that fat woman took out a croissant and started eating and when everyone was looking at her, yes, it did make me cringe. It made me cringe because it gave people the opportunity to reinforce the negative stereotype about fat women. In an ideal world, everyone would accept that we're different sizes, and love this fact, and have no stereotype. But we do not live in an ideal world. I personally thought it was irresponsible of her, and that if she was hungry, she should have eaten something healthier like a banana or apple or low-fat yoghurt that would have given off a positive image for other fat people. This is my opinion, and I won't change is just because some people choose to be immature and resort to name calling.


 
Go fat lady. Eat that croissant. Hell, too bad she didn't have a little gravy boat of melted chocolate to dip it in. 

Who ***********************cares********************* what the ignorant public thinks? Who wants to live a life constrained by what ugly stereotypes others may hold about them, if only they'd allow themselves to live authentically? Thin guy, take your shirt off (uh, maybe not on public transit, though). Let the cards fall where they will. I promise you, whatever evil thoughts run through a random stranger's mind aren't going to kill you. And I'm betting that they care a whole, whole helluva lot less than you think they do. 

I'm betting that the irresponsible croissant eater wasn't cringing away from what random fat bigots thought of her. She was probably enjoying the flaky, buttery goodness too much to take notice.


----------



## LoveBHMS

I was trying to figure out why i didn't understand this thread, until i read the post where somebody mentioned that where she lived it was against the law to eat on public transport. i came from DC where they give out tickets for eating or drinking on the subway, so i realized i've never seen anyone of any size eating on public transportation because it would result in being fined.

What would be really interesting is to see what would have happened if this thread had been started by a fat woman. There have been any number of posts on here from fat women saying they get annoyed or uncomfortable when they see a fat woman looking sloppy or not wearing makeup because it reinforces stereotypes. There have been numerous thread criticizing Collared Princess for going on TV and talking about weight gain because people are afraid she's going to make all fatties "look bad". There is a perennial tone of "fighting stereotypes about fat people" and worrying about others thinking you're going to be lazy/dirty/sick if you're fat so i honestly can't understand why all the vitriol towards an FA who gets annoyed with somebody promoting a stereotype. 

If you belong to a minority, don't you get bothered when somebody acts in such a way that it gives truth to something that others think about your demographic? I've seen blacks totally hate on other blacks who are on welfare or who have multiple kids because it "makes us all look bad". When i waitressed i'd get angry at solo female diners who didn't tip properly because i was aware that waiters always think solo female diners won't tip properly. Don't Muslims get particulary upset over terrorism because it reinforces a negative stereotype about Islam?

It's always the third rail of size acceptance to lay down any corellation between eating and being fat. Never been able to understand why.


----------



## TraciJo67

I thought the same thing, about all of the people who are hating on Donna because she apparently feeds into the (already existing) stereotypes about fat, fat women, the men who love them, and (for those few who are aware of it in the first place) the sub-culture of feederism. I don't agree with that opinion, nor do I agree with the OP's. People are going to have ugly, preconceived notions. Most of them won't change in light of any evidence to the contrary, because bigotry isn't something that can be reasoned away.


----------



## LoveBHMS

But it's not always bigotry as evidenced by Lamia's post where she says:



> I got fat by eating unhealthy I don't weigh 425 lbs because I ate lots of bananas and apples.



That to me is the real problem here because it's a case of breaking up good and bad fat people. The simple fact is some people are fat because they eat a lot of junk food. Why not just say that is true? It's not true for all fat people but it's hardly bigotry to link eating a lot of junk food with being fat. 

Basically it seems as though the OP doesn't want this to be true, or has some stake in it not being true. The bigger issue is the SA movement being predicated on the idea that nobody is fat through his or her own actions. There have been several threads along the lines of asking posters to "own" why they are fat, and many will enthusiastically admit to hating to exercise or loving KFC. Others get angry and annoyed with those threads and say they perpetuate myths, even though the actual experiences of actual fat people are not myths.

And as far as just FA and FA attitudes, there have been dozens and dozens of posts from FA insisting that their partner doesn't eat junk food or exercises all the time or has an active job. I wonder what would happen if FA started posting about partners who were lazy, never worked out, and whose diet consisted solely of fast food and Twinkies. I'm guessing they'd get flamed for "promoting stereotypes" even if they were simply being honest about their experience.


----------



## imfree

TraciJo67 said:


> I thought the same thing, about all of the people who are hating on Donna because she apparently feeds into the (already existing) stereotypes about fat, fat women, the men who love them, and (for those few who are aware of it in the first place) the sub-culture of feederism. I don't agree with that opinion, nor do I agree with the OP's. People are going to have ugly, preconceived notions. *Most of them won't change in light of any evidence to the contrary, because bigotry isn't something that can be reasoned away*.



I certainly do!:bow: Damn, those bigots seem to
always get what they want.

Guns N Roses-Civil War
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1fHxPY3TJo


----------



## spiritangel

thinguyforbbw said:


> ok, I am only going to make one post on this thread, because I like this community and I do not want people to be upset or anything.
> 
> I must say, I find the attitude of people on this thread quite disturbing. I thought this was a community all about acceptance, fat acceptance, race acceptance, religion acceptance, differing points of views acceptance, but I guess I was wrong.
> 
> Did anyone even bother reading what I wrote? Or did they selectively just read the bits they wanted to read? If you actually bothered reading what I wrote, it would have been clear that the reason I find it disturbing when I see a fat person eating on public transportation is because it just reinforces the stereotype that fat people (especially women) are lazy and just stuff their faces 24/7. And I hate negative stereotypes. You can all sit in front of your computers and call others name and accuse them of hating fat people, but you know nothing about me. At 5 ft 7 and being extremely thin, I have been called anorexic, made fun of by people in the street, endured sarcastic comments like "Arnie" or "big guy" etc, so I am the last person who would go around discriminating someone because of their size. But at the same time, I am a realist, and the reality is, people do have negative stereotypes about others. In a utopia you would tell everyone that their stereotype is wrong, and the whole world would live happily ever after, in reality, things are different, and we all have a responsibility. I mean, when it is hot, do I walk around bare chested? How many of you so-called anti-sizeists can honestly say that if you saw a 32 year old guy with a pathetic skinny body like that of a teenage kid walking around bare-chested who everyone was staring at, you would not feel a bit embarrassed for him?
> 
> People are different, and not all fat people are comfortable with being fat. Why should one of you be able to tell a fat person that they should be happy being fat? Who are you to make that decision? What we should tell people is that they should be happy being what they feel happy with, and that can be fat, or thin. One is not better than the other.
> 
> So, yes, when that fat woman took out a croissant and started eating and when everyone was looking at her, yes, it did make me cringe. It made me cringe because it gave people the opportunity to reinforce the negative stereotype about fat women. In an ideal world, everyone would accept that we're different sizes, and love this fact, and have no stereotype. But we do not live in an ideal world. I personally thought it was irresponsible of her, and that if she was hungry, she should have eaten something healthier like a banana or apple or low-fat yoghurt that would have given off a positive image for other fat people. This is my opinion, and I won't change is just because some people choose to be immature and resort to name calling.



Actually I read and re read and re read both this and your initial post thinking surely I was seeing something that wasnt there or intended sorry but both posts make you sound soo judgemental. And even the bible says "Judge not lest you be judged" I am not religous but even as a deeply spirtual person I believe that what we say think and act on shows who we are. I find it incredibly sad that you are worried about what society will think, I mean some people may think she is hungry, some people may look at a skinny person pigging out and find that disgusting, we all need to eat, its normal and we have freedom of choice as to what we put in our mouths, I get the same looks eating healthy in public as I do when I eat something unhealthy, that doesnt change, ever. Stereotypes are just that, they show us all where we need to learn and grow as a society they are not reflective of the truth its like saying all mexican people want to be americans or all americans are idiots or all french people are rude, or even all skinny girls are bitches it just isnt true and they are just the first few stereotypes that popped to mind none of wich I remotely believe btw. Just like if I see someone eating in public I dont automatically assume all they do is eat. After all a stereotype is basically just an assumption 

and havent you heard to Assume makes and ass out of you and me 

sorry but dont think you have redeemed yourself in anyway with the above in fact I feel even more strongly than I did before and sad for you because I wouldnt want to live in a world seen through your eyes.


----------



## NYCGabriel

Mathias said:


> Wow, still open? :doh:



Uh, yeah?  Why wouldn't it be? This guy made some insulting comments so everyone has the right to respond. and in fact they SHOULD respond.


----------



## NYCGabriel

and the followup!







thinguyforbbw said:


> ok, I am only going to make one post on this thread, because I like this community and I do not want people to be upset or anything.
> 
> I must say, I find the attitude of people on this thread quite disturbing. I thought this was a community all about acceptance, fat acceptance, race acceptance, religion acceptance, differing points of views acceptance, but I guess I was wrong.
> 
> Did anyone even bother reading what I wrote? Or did they selectively just read the bits they wanted to read? If you actually bothered reading what I wrote, it would have been clear that the reason I find it disturbing when I see a fat person eating on public transportation is because it just reinforces the stereotype that fat people (especially women) are lazy and just stuff their faces 24/7. And I hate negative stereotypes. You can all sit in front of your computers and call others name and accuse them of hating fat people, but you know nothing about me. At 5 ft 7 and being extremely thin, I have been called anorexic, made fun of by people in the street, endured sarcastic comments like "Arnie" or "big guy" etc, so I am the last person who would go around discriminating someone because of their size. But at the same time, I am a realist, and the reality is, people do have negative stereotypes about others. In a utopia you would tell everyone that their stereotype is wrong, and the whole world would live happily ever after, in reality, things are different, and we all have a responsibility. I mean, when it is hot, do I walk around bare chested? How many of you so-called anti-sizeists can honestly say that if you saw a 32 year old guy with a pathetic skinny body like that of a teenage kid walking around bare-chested who everyone was staring at, you would not feel a bit embarrassed for him?
> 
> People are different, and not all fat people are comfortable with being fat. Why should one of you be able to tell a fat person that they should be happy being fat? Who are you to make that decision? What we should tell people is that they should be happy being what they feel happy with, and that can be fat, or thin. One is not better than the other.
> 
> So, yes, when that fat woman took out a croissant and started eating and when everyone was looking at her, yes, it did make me cringe. It made me cringe because it gave people the opportunity to reinforce the negative stereotype about fat women. In an ideal world, everyone would accept that we're different sizes, and love this fact, and have no stereotype. But we do not live in an ideal world. I personally thought it was irresponsible of her, and that if she was hungry, she should have eaten something healthier like a banana or apple or low-fat yoghurt that would have given off a positive image for other fat people. This is my opinion, and I won't change is just because some people choose to be immature and resort to name calling.


----------



## Blackjack

Lamia said:


> Step 7. Prop a banana in your cleavage and slowly eat it this will make the men think about you eating their penis and then they won't care how irresponsible you are.



...


----------



## joswitch

thinguyforbbw said:


> ok, I am only going to make one post on this thread, because I like this community and I do not want people to be upset or anything.
> 
> I must say, I find the attitude of people on this thread quite disturbing. I thought this was a community all about acceptance, fat acceptance, race acceptance, religion acceptance, differing points of views acceptance, but I guess I was wrong.
> 
> Did anyone even bother reading what I wrote? Or did they selectively just read the bits they wanted to read? If you actually bothered reading what I wrote, it would have been clear that the reason I find it disturbing when I see a fat person eating on public transportation is because it just reinforces the stereotype that fat people (especially women) are lazy and just stuff their faces 24/7. *And I hate negative stereotypes.**snip*



:doh:We all understand exactly what you wrote. 
Do not kid yourself here.
Let me break this down for you in really simple terms:

The *blame for negative stereotyping* lies in the stereotyp*er* - which in this case is *YOU!**
NOT at all in the stereotyp*ee* which in this case is the lady on the train.

(*No, really it is YOU. Trust us.)

You have INTERNALISED what you are calling a negative stereotype.
You are now carrying it around as part of your personality.
Worse: you are choosing to inflict it on other people (BBWs).
Worse still: you are choosing to inflict such on a fat-positive board.

STOP trying to make excuses for yourself.
STOP internalising society's body-hatred.
STOP reflecting your insecurities about your own body onto other people (BBWs).

To change size-negative attitudes in the world in general you have to change your own FIRST.


----------



## joswitch

CrankySpice said:


> I was on the train the other day, and I saw this super-skinny, like seriously almost anorexic, thin guy just sitting there and not eating. Everyone on the train was staring at him, and all I could think was...why is he reinforcing the stereotype? Why isn't he stuffing his face with cheeseburgers and ho-ho's so everyone on the train could sigh with relief and finally look away, satisfied that his condition was probably metabolic and not a result of his irresponsible lack of eating?
> 
> It made me cringe. Don't get me wrong, I love thin guys, but really...I didn't know how to handle this. I'm thinking I may need to load down my purse with potato chips and cupcakes so I can offer them to him if I see him again.
> 
> At least he wasn't eating an apple or something. That would've really pushed the entire compartment over the edge. swear.



^To OP - read this. Twice.
Now go look at your own face in the mirror.
Rinse and repeat until you get it.


----------



## Blackjack

TraciJo67 said:


> I thought the same thing, about all of the people who are hating on Donna because she apparently feeds into the (already existing) stereotypes about fat, fat women, the men who love them, and (for those few who are aware of it in the first place) the sub-culture of feederism.



Not to make this a(nother) Donna thread, but a fat person eating on the subway- where people would form their own conclusions based on their hatred- isn't really the same as going on Tyra and broadcasting the stereotypes nationwide. That's the difference here.



> People are going to have ugly, preconceived notions. Most of them won't change in light of any evidence to the contrary, because bigotry isn't something that can be reasoned away.



This I fully agree with, though.


----------



## joswitch

LoveBHMS said:


> But it's not always bigotry as evidenced by Lamia's post where she says:
> 
> 
> 
> That to me is the real problem here because it's a case of breaking up good and bad fat people. The simple fact is some people are fat because they eat a lot of junk food. Why not just say that is true? It's not true for all fat people but it's hardly bigotry to link eating a lot of junk food with being fat.
> 
> Basically it seems as though the OP doesn't want this to be true, or has some stake in it not being true. The bigger issue is the SA movement being predicated on the idea that nobody is fat through his or her own actions. There have been several threads along the lines of asking posters to "own" why they are fat, and many will enthusiastically admit to hating to exercise or loving KFC. Others get angry and annoyed with those threads and say they perpetuate myths, even though the actual experiences of actual fat people are not myths.
> 
> And as far as just FA and FA attitudes, there have been dozens and dozens of posts from FA insisting that their partner doesn't eat junk food or exercises all the time or has an active job. I wonder what would happen if FA started posting about partners who were lazy, never worked out, and whose diet consisted solely of fast food and Twinkies. I'm guessing they'd get flamed for "promoting stereotypes" even if they were simply being honest about their experience.



You're entirely missing the point.
The point is:

*Regardless of size, anybody and everybody gets to eat in public*, and no-one gets to judge someone else for that without being a huge douchebag. *

(*in places where it is publicly acceptable for people to eat at all)

Auxiliary point:
*
No-one represents all the other people in whatever group. 
Unless they've been ELECTED to do so by all those people.*

I'm pretty sure that the lady-on-the-train (may her name live in legend) is not President For Life of All Fat People.
*
It's the people who don't get those points who have the problem.
And the solution is simple: GTFOIA!*


----------



## LoveBHMS

Blackjack said:


> Not to make this a(nother) Donna thread, but a fat person eating on the subway- where people would form their own conclusions based on their hatred- isn't really the same as going on Tyra and broadcasting the stereotypes nationwide. That's the difference here.
> 
> 
> 
> This I fully agree with, though.



She doesn't broadcast a stereotype, she broadcasts herself. Why is it so threatening to SA for a fat person to say she eats 12,000 calories a day if she does in fact eat 12,000 calories a day. 

I also really really don't get why people who self ascribe as feeders and who subscribe to paysites to see women gaining weight and eating junk food and talking about how fat they're getting get all ticked off at somebody who "thinks that fat people eat junk food" or "thinks people are fat because they eat a lot". How do you think paysite girls gain? Are THEY threatening to SA for doing the very thing that that you worry about being a stereotype?


----------



## joswitch

LoveBHMS said:


> She doesn't broadcast a stereotype, she broadcasts herself. Why is it so threatening to SA for a fat person to say she eats 12,000 calories a day if she does in fact eat 12,000 calories a day.
> 
> I also really really don't get why people who self ascribe as feeders and who subscribe to paysites to see women gaining weight and eating junk food and talking about how fat they're getting get all ticked off at somebody who "thinks that fat people eat junk food" or "thinks people are fat because they eat a lot". How do you think paysite girls gain? Are THEY threatening to SA for doing the very thing that that you worry about being a stereotype?



There's like six other threads that have already covered this argument to the nth degree. I don't think there's anyone on DIMS who has an opinion on it good/bad/indifferent that hasn't posted it already. How about this argument not consume this thread too? You can always go necropost one of those other Donna threads...


----------



## Mikey

Is this thread for real? 

Why is anyone dignifying the premise of this thread with an answer?


----------



## CrankySpice

Mikey said:


> Is this thread for real?
> 
> Why is anyone dignifying the premise of this thread with an answer?



I have no dignity. Therefore, I do not understand the question.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Have we clarified whether it was indeed _allowed_ for people to eat on the bus/train the OP was traveling on? Like several other posters mentioned, the metro trains here in my area have a strict no food policy. If that's the case, then people might have been staring because she was breaking a rule, not necessarily because she was fat...and the fact that the OP jumped to that as the reason for the stares (if there really were stares) speaks volumes.

But it hinges on whether eating on public transit is an allowable public practice where the OP and the croissant-eating bandit travel.


----------



## joswitch

mcbeth said:


> Have we clarified whether it was indeed _allowed_ for people to eat on the bus/train the OP was traveling on? Like several other posters mentioned, the metro trains here in my area have a strict no food policy. If that's the case, then people might have been staring because she was breaking a rule, not necessarily because she was fat...and the fact that the OP jumped to that as the reason for the stares (if there really were stares) speaks volumes.
> 
> But it hinges on whether eating on public transit is an allowable public practice where the OP and the croissant-eating bandit travel.



The OP is in UK. We have no such restrictions on trains in UK.
We even have buffet cars and snack trolleys on trains.


----------



## disconnectedsmile

thinguyforbbw said:


> I personally thought it was irresponsible of her, and that if she was hungry, she should have eaten something healthier like a banana or apple or low-fat yoghurt that would have given off a positive image for other fat people.


I personally think it's irresponsible of you to feel you have the right to dictate what people, of *any* size, should and should not eat in public.


----------



## FatAndProud

joswitch said:


> The OP is in UK. We have no such restrictions on trains in UK.
> We even have buffet cars and snack trolleys on trains.



Yeah, anyone's who's seen Harry Potter knows that!


----------



## CarlaSixx

Our trains and other public transpo do not have bans, though most people don't eat on the bus. I've seen very few that have. Only one lady was reprimanded for it but she was eating KFC chicken and dropping everything on the floor and putting her greasy fingers everywhere. She even got kicked off the bus because she refused to stop. But I've seen people of all sizes eat on the bus. The trains here have snack carts and whatnot, too. And in Toronto, my friend always spots people eating McDs on the subway/metro (I've spotted eaters in Montreal. It's normal). He sees those he had served eating what they ordered from him, actually.

Irresponsible? Not quite so. And can you really find many convenience stores that offer fresh fruits and whatnot as a quick snack? I doubt it. 

Humans need to eat to live. Let her eat. At least she's not doing something illegal on the transit.


----------



## wrestlingguy

I think the overriding question here is: Are fat women who act irresponsibly irresponsible?


----------



## LovelyLiz

joswitch said:


> The OP is in UK. We have no such restrictions on trains in UK.
> We even have buffet cars and snack trolleys on trains.



Ah, ok. Thanks for clarifying that.  (We do allow eating on long-distance trains, but not local metro trains.)

This is an interesting issue, honestly. If I'm honest with myself, I do sometimes do or not do something based on "fat person PR." Should I have to? No. But since negative stereotypes in the world DO affect my everyday reality, I do think about how I may come across and what I do in public view - maybe more than is necessary, but a lot of times now I do it without even thinking about it. I just got back from a 3 mile walk, and I'm about to go swim laps for an hour at a public pool. I do these things primarily because I want to do good things for my body, but I also realize that when people see a fat person exercising, it's potentially helpful to "the movement."

I was just talking to a friend about this issue, and it got me thinking about another community I spend a lot of time with, because of my background in special education. People in the disability rights community also talk a lot about who gets to represent them, etc., and there's been a big push back against all of the "supercrip" stories where people with various physical disabilities are almost always portrayed in the media as heroes, or climbing mountains, saving villages, etc. These stories started as a way to combat the stereotype that people with disabilities are all victims, passive, and weak. 

But the problem is, when the only stories told are the "supercrip" stories, that's not the whole truth either. So now the community is pushing back against that, and trying to say - look, we don't have to climb Mt. Everest to have value as a person with disabilities. We can just live normal lives where we have jobs, hope to fall in love, and do the best we can with what we're given - like everyone else. And there are some things we may not be able to do, and we may need assistance sometimes, and there also are some people with disabilities who are lazy and caught in the victim mentality (just like there are people without disabilities like that). There is no one picture of what it means to be a person with disabilities, even though there have been categories made that attempt to do that: victim, overcomer, object of pity, hero, angel, etc. All groups of people are complex and diverse.

I think the fat community is still somewhat caught in the stage of "super fatties" where we are pushing against the stereotype that fat people eat junk and sit on the couch all day, and trying to show that fat people DO exercise, and do eat healthy foods. So I think sometimes we overstate the case. But we need to get to a deeper level of honesty. While there are fat people who try to live active, healthy lifestyles, there are plenty who don't (just like thin people). To try to "break" a stereotype that fat people eat unhealthy foods is futile, because it's too rooted in truth. Fat people (like all people) DO eat unhealthy foods. All of us? No. For every meal? No. But let's be real, it happens.

Now, I think we are teetering on the next phase, where we can admit that hey, yeah, some fat people do have unhealthy habits and lifestyle choices (I am not exempting myself from this). But we can also say, but you know what, that doesn't mean they deserve to be treated disrespectfully or as second-class citizens. We don't need to divide into "good fatties" and "bad fatties", we can just appeal to common human decency for all of us, no matter what choices we make for how to care for our bodies.


----------



## NYCGabriel

thinguyforbbw said:


> ok, I am only going to make one post on this thread, because I like this community and I do not want people to be upset or anything.
> 
> I must say, I find the attitude of people on this thread quite disturbing. I thought this was a community all about acceptance, fat acceptance, race acceptance, religion acceptance, differing points of views acceptance, but I guess I was wrong.
> 
> Did anyone even bother reading what I wrote? Or did they selectively just read the bits they wanted to read? If you actually bothered reading what I wrote, it would have been clear that the reason I find it disturbing when I see a fat person eating on public transportation is because it just reinforces the stereotype that fat people (especially women) are lazy and just stuff their faces 24/7. And I hate negative stereotypes. You can all sit in front of your computers and call others name and accuse them of hating fat people, but you know nothing about me. At 5 ft 7 and being extremely thin, I have been called anorexic, made fun of by people in the street, endured sarcastic comments like "Arnie" or "big guy" etc, so I am the last person who would go around discriminating someone because of their size. But at the same time, I am a realist, and the reality is, people do have negative stereotypes about others. In a utopia you would tell everyone that their stereotype is wrong, and the whole world would live happily ever after, in reality, things are different, and we all have a responsibility. I mean, when it is hot, do I walk around bare chested? How many of you so-called anti-sizeists can honestly say that if you saw a 32 year old guy with a pathetic skinny body like that of a teenage kid walking around bare-chested who everyone was staring at, you would not feel a bit embarrassed for him?
> 
> People are different, and not all fat people are comfortable with being fat. Why should one of you be able to tell a fat person that they should be happy being fat? Who are you to make that decision? What we should tell people is that they should be happy being what they feel happy with, and that can be fat, or thin. One is not better than the other.
> 
> So, yes, when that fat woman took out a croissant and started eating and when everyone was looking at her, yes, it did make me cringe. It made me cringe because it gave people the opportunity to reinforce the negative stereotype about fat women. In an ideal world, everyone would accept that we're different sizes, and love this fact, and have no stereotype. But we do not live in an ideal world. I personally thought it was irresponsible of her, and that if she was hungry, she should have eaten something healthier like a banana or apple or low-fat yoghurt that would have given off a positive image for other fat people. This is my opinion, and I won't change is just because some people choose to be immature and resort to name calling.


----------



## mossystate

thinguyforbbw said:


> ]... I do not want people to be upset or anything.



Too late. That train filled with croissant eating fat women has already left the station. You do not get to say when enough is enough...got it?



> I must say, I find the attitude of people on this thread quite disturbing. I thought this was a community all about acceptance, fat acceptance, race acceptance, religion acceptance, differing points of views acceptance, but I guess I was wrong.




I so want to put a bullet in the head of this kind of thinking. I see it a lot on here, when it comes to all kinds of issues. " But, you fat people are supposed to love and accept everybody and everything, no mater what...don't you know how you have been treated?...well, let me take a crap on your head and you give me no reaction...k? ". Stop hiding your ugliness behind the word...acceptance.



> ...I find it disturbing when I see a fat person eating on public transportation is because it just reinforces the stereotype that fat people (especially women) are lazy and just stuff their faces 24/7.



Yeah, because those people who dislike fat people...golly gee, they are not already looking and judging. Why, the fat is only visible when a fat woman shoves a whole pizza in her mouth. You refuse....refuse....to understand that the fat woman who is eating on public transportation is waaaaaaaaay ahead of you in terms of ACCEPTANCE. She KNOWS she will live her life. She KNOWS the gawking assholes will judge her no matter what...so she decides she is going to make herself happy and comfortable. You are a scared person who pats fat women on the head and tells them to hide...it's for their own good. But, like I have already quoted one of your lines about how you looooove the fat spilling over onto you while riding the train/bus, you are showing YOUR discomfort. That fat woman taking up part of another persons space...shouldn't she just find another means of transportation - well, not when you are around...of course. Then she needs to have that ESP that tells her you want to enjoy her fat.....she is just not to enjoy a sandwich. 
Fat women are on the planet to make you feel OK, of course...but..here's the kicker.......they cannot make you feel OK about yourself...you are gonna have to do that on your own, and stop asking fat women if your thin/small package/whatever personality/whatever self will attract someone. You are only allowed to ask that when/if you ever stop the ugliness....oooops, the loving concern you show.



> And I hate negative stereotypes.



Awww, there is that loving concern. * dabs a tear *



> ... so I am the last person who would go around discriminating someone because of their size.



Well, there is a newsflash. I need to remember that there are no people who have endured prejudice...who then go on to be nasty to someone else. :doh: I hate when those bubbles burst all over the place. 



> But at the same time, I am a realist, and the reality is, people do have negative stereotypes about others.



You will never change a person who only wants to see what they want to see. At some point, you have to simply live your life...jerks be damned.



> How many of you so-called anti-sizeists can honestly say that if you saw a 32 year old guy with a pathetic skinny body like that of a teenage kid walking around bare-chested who everyone was staring at, you would not feel a bit embarrassed for him?



You have anxieties and fears and want everybody else who ' should hide ' to join you in your closet. I realize you want company in there, but some folks are trying to free themselves, even if it is what seems like a small freedom of eating on public transportation. Are you here on this site because you figure you would find all these accomodating fat women...no matter what you say and how you think? Oh...my. You are embarrassed about your body and you cannot believe that others with what you think are OMG! bodies are so misguided and disgusting to flaunt...if you can call eating, flaunting...oof. You keep yourself hidden, so should fat women...well, unless it is to turn you on, in the manners you decide are OK. * brain hurts * 

There are times when everybody...everybody...will have a " whoa " moment when they see something or someone that seems just left or right of center ( what is deemed center by some mysterious group ). That is natural. Now, it becomes a problem when they then take a momentary visual click and start thinking that the ' offending ' person should do XYZ...act this way, or that. Just noticing something a little ' different '...no big deal. It's what you do with the info that is now in your brain, that's where it is ALL about the viewer, and not the viewed.



> People are different, and not all fat people are comfortable with being fat. Why should one of you be able to tell a fat person that they should be happy being fat?



When I see somebody out here telling a fat person they should be happy being fat, I think that is dumb. People should be happy ( their defintion ), but not because they are fat or thin. Now, to tell someone that because they are not happy being fat that they are understandably miserable...thaaaaaaaat is what would get a person hearing lots of not so wonderful feedback.



> Who are you to make that decision? What we should tell people is that they should be happy being what they feel happy with, and that can be fat, or thin. One is not better than the other.



An apple or a banana or a croissant...when will you ' let ' a fat person be happy. From a nutrition standpoint you can argue...yeah...yeah...blah...blah. But, if you are truly talking about happiness and living ones life...then you change YOUR thinking.



> I personally thought it was irresponsible of her, and that if she was hungry, she should have eaten something healthier like a banana or apple or low-fat yoghurt that would have given off a positive image for other fat people. This is my opinion, and I won't change is just because some people choose to be immature and resort to name calling.



You are a good citizen...in your mind...for keeping your " scrawny " chest covered. You are demanding others who are not so acceptable, in your mind, to do the same...keep you company. Too bad that, unlike some folks, you can't just allow yourself to feel a bit of happiness that another who also gets the stares and judgement...is pushing against the hate. I remember when I was younger and I saw a very fat woman walking down the street. The wind was blowing and her coat was flying away from her body. She was very large and she was not gathering her coat to cover what might have been offensive to the eyeballs of jerks. I probably weighed all of 140 pounds, and not happy with my body ( numbers don't always matter, one way or another ). I could have been like you. I could have thought, " oh god, she is just invtiting people to think bad things about her for allowing her fat to be more fully exposed. But I remember thinking how envious I was of her...how free she was. Now, she might not have been super confident ( how I have come to hate that term since posting here, cuz it is used like a battering ram against fat women, so many times ), but I thought it was a most fantastic sight. I did not cringe.

Stop cringing, just because you won't allow yourself the croissant/going shirtless ( etc..etc...etc ).


----------



## superodalisque

Blackjack said:


> Not to make this a(nother) Donna thread, but a fat person eating on the subway- where people would form their own conclusions based on their hatred- isn't really the same as going on Tyra and broadcasting the stereotypes nationwide. That's the difference here.
> 
> 
> 
> This I fully agree with, though.



but what is a stereotype except something that exists often enough that it becomes a fixed reality in the minds of many people? even if people do fit a negative stereotype does that mean the rest of society has a license to abuse them?

i agree with TJ. its the exact same thing. this is the point a lot of us were trying to make about Donna. trying to make a fat woman behave as you like personally is not size acceptance. running from a stereotype is not size acceptance. is shame and fear.

hey, i'm black and i have a big booty. i'm not going to tuck it in or wear spanx 10x too small because having one is a stereotype. its part of who i am. its my personal truth. i don't need to hide and neither does any other fat person. fat people need to feel free to be out and loud and whomever they decide they want to be. thats acceptance. kowtowing to prejudice isn't the answer. its a big mistake because hiding and secrecy validates the prejudice.

also holding the very same attitude that prejudiced people have doesn't bode well for people who look to the SA movement for acceptance support and love. people need to think before they speak. so much damage can be done to people intentionally and unintentionally by supporting prejudiced ideas. fat people have enough prejudice to deal with from people who aren't admirers. why should they have to deal with it from so called admirers as well? its time people realized that just because someone is sexually attracted to you it doesn't mean they are necessarily out for your best interests. i think that has been very disappointing for people to realize and that disapointment is what has led to so many BBWs fleeing the scene. i think Conrad is worried about why so many intelligent insightful BBW posters have left. a huge part of it has been finding out for sure in black and white in various ways overtime that they do not have the respect or support they thought they had.


----------



## superodalisque

thinguyforbbw said:


> ... But at the same time, I am a realist, and the reality is, people do have negative stereotypes about others. In a utopia you would tell everyone that their stereotype is wrong, and the whole world would live happily ever after, in reality, things are different, and we all have a responsibility. I mean, when it is hot, do I walk around bare chested? How many of you so-called anti-sizeists can honestly say that if you saw a 32 year old guy with a pathetic skinny body like that of a teenage kid walking around bare-chested who everyone was staring at, you would not feel a bit embarrassed for him?
> 
> .



no i wouldn't feel embarrassed for him at all. he is a human being and has his own beauty and value just as he is. as for the for the people who are too prejudiced to see that its their loss. i refuse to support them or their attitudes toward him in any way. i refuse to play into the hands of prejudice. what would be embarrassing to me is if i went along with the prejudice and reinforced them.

sorry to say it but you sound more like a defeatist than a realist. i second whoever said they'd feel sorry for the BBW who got attached to you. sounds like you have body image issues of your own to deal with. too bad you want to bring other people into your own dysmorphia. maybe you need to be concentrating more on feeling good about yourself than critiquing how other people might be perceived. your eye is not unbiased.


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## HottiMegan

I have had life long issues with food. I do not like to go to restaurants so people can see me eat. I do not eat at parties even when my stomach is growling like crazy. I feed my kids snacks in public but don't partake. I only go to the buffet restaurants to eat salad and very little else. I wait until i'm about to faint before i eat for the first time in the day. Some days my toddler eats more food than I do. 
I do not judge others by what they do/eat. I don't think i have ever had a "they shouldn't be eating that" thought about people. 

Knowing that people who "support" or like other fatties that really think it's wrong for us to eat in public really sucks. I am a poor representative of the SA movement because of the things i do avoid doing in public. Also, a croissant is a lot easier to eat in a moving vehicle than low fat yogurt or even fruit.


----------



## superodalisque

TraciJo67 said:


> I thought the same thing, about all of the people who are hating on Donna because she apparently feeds into the (already existing) stereotypes about fat, fat women, the men who love them, and (for those few who are aware of it in the first place) the sub-culture of feederism. I don't agree with that opinion, nor do I agree with the OP's. People are going to have ugly, preconceived notions. Most of them won't change in light of any evidence to the contrary, because bigotry isn't something that can be reasoned away.



exactly this! they wouldn't allow me to rep you.


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## LoveBHMS

HottiMegan said:


> I have had life long issues with food. I do not like to go to restaurants so people can see me eat. I do not eat at parties even when my stomach is growling like crazy. I feed my kids snacks in public but don't partake. I only go to the buffet restaurants to eat salad and very little else. I wait until i'm about to faint before i eat for the first time in the day. Some days my toddler eats more food than I do.
> I do not judge others by what they do/eat. I don't think i have ever had a "they shouldn't be eating that" thought about people.
> 
> Knowing that people who "support" or like other fatties that really think it's wrong for us to eat in public really sucks. *I am a poor representative of the SA movement because of the things i do avoid doing in public.* Also, a croissant is a lot easier to eat in a moving vehicle than low fat yogurt or even fruit.



But it's not your job to represent the SA community any more than it is the woman the OP saw eating junk food. If eating in public makes somebody stressed or uncomfortable, why should they make themselves do it just in the name of SA?

No one individual has the burden to represent an entire demographic


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## supersoup

i'm going to carry around some dollar menu burgers and candy bars, and eat them in very public places for this thread. it's my version of pouring some out for my homies.

fuck your concern and embarrassment, i will eat what i want, when i want to eat it. and if it makes you uncomfortable, you have bigger issues. unless the fat people come sit in your lap and use your tie for a napkin, you should mind yer biz.


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## superodalisque

BoomSnap said:


> At first I thought this was a troll of epic proportions, but the post was filled with just enough creepy ramblings to make me think otherwise.



you are right. he isn't a troll. there is enough of this kind of thinking being expounded on all over dims. its just that its often couched in more palatable ways and/or aimed at the "appropriate" scapegoats. there are a lot of people trying to stuff BBWs into an "acceptable" fatty box.


----------



## Lamia

LoveBHMS said:


> But it's not always bigotry as evidenced by Lamia's post where she says:
> 
> 
> 
> That to me is the real problem here because it's a case of breaking up good and bad fat people. The simple fact is some people are fat because they eat a lot of junk food. Why not just say that is true? It's not true for all fat people but it's hardly bigotry to link eating a lot of junk food with being fat.
> 
> Basically it seems as though the OP doesn't want this to be true, or has some stake in it not being true. The bigger issue is the SA movement being predicated on the idea that nobody is fat through his or her own actions. There have been several threads along the lines of asking posters to "own" why they are fat, and many will enthusiastically admit to hating to exercise or loving KFC. Others get angry and annoyed with those threads and say they perpetuate myths, even though the actual experiences of actual fat people are not myths.
> 
> And as far as just FA and FA attitudes, there have been dozens and dozens of posts from FA insisting that their partner doesn't eat junk food or exercises all the time or has an active job. I wonder what would happen if FA started posting about partners who were lazy, never worked out, and whose diet consisted solely of fast food and Twinkies. I'm guessing they'd get flamed for "promoting stereotypes" even if they were simply being honest about their experience.



I would just like to qualify my statement by saying that I do eat healthy foods, as well as bad, but I don't consume mass quantities of food. Hollywood would have you believe that fat people sit around eating tubs of frosting. I understand where the OP is coming from, but I just don't care. I don't care to protect people from thinking about me or seeing me. It's not my job to make people comfortable. I still tend to make self-depricating jokes which I try not to. It was how I nagivated the world socially prior to getting a clue. 

You can't control how other people see you so why worry about it? I think why this is getting such a reaction is that this community is about NOT giving in to social pressure to adhere to societies expectations. 



I think if a fat woman made this statement I think she would get the same reaction.


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## superodalisque

all i have to say is... 

View attachment 14448_1287947077582_1197341866_30864649_6200801_n.jpg


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## Mathias

thinguyforbbw said:


> ok, I am only going to make one post on this thread, because I like this community and I do not want people to be upset or anything.
> 
> I must say, I find the attitude of people on this thread quite disturbing. I thought this was a community all about acceptance, fat acceptance, race acceptance, religion acceptance, differing points of views acceptance, but I guess I was wrong.
> 
> Did anyone even bother reading what I wrote? Or did they selectively just read the bits they wanted to read? If you actually bothered reading what I wrote, it would have been clear that the reason I find it disturbing when I see a fat person eating on public transportation is because it just reinforces the stereotype that fat people (especially women) are lazy and just stuff their faces 24/7. And I hate negative stereotypes. You can all sit in front of your computers and call others name and accuse them of hating fat people, but you know nothing about me. At 5 ft 7 and being extremely thin, I have been called anorexic, made fun of by people in the street, endured sarcastic comments like "Arnie" or "big guy" etc, so I am the last person who would go around discriminating someone because of their size. But at the same time, I am a realist, and the reality is, people do have negative stereotypes about others. In a utopia you would tell everyone that their stereotype is wrong, and the whole world would live happily ever after, in reality, things are different, and we all have a responsibility. I mean, when it is hot, do I walk around bare chested? How many of you so-called anti-sizeists can honestly say that if you saw a 32 year old guy with a pathetic skinny body like that of a teenage kid walking around bare-chested who everyone was staring at, you would not feel a bit embarrassed for him?
> 
> People are different, and not all fat people are comfortable with being fat. Why should one of you be able to tell a fat person that they should be happy being fat? Who are you to make that decision? What we should tell people is that they should be happy being what they feel happy with, and that can be fat, or thin. One is not better than the other.
> 
> So, yes, when that fat woman took out a croissant and started eating and when everyone was looking at her, yes, it did make me cringe. It made me cringe because it gave people the opportunity to reinforce the negative stereotype about fat women. In an ideal world, everyone would accept that we're different sizes, and love this fact, and have no stereotype. But we do not live in an ideal world. I personally thought it was irresponsible of her, and that if she was hungry, she should have eaten something healthier like a banana or apple or low-fat yoghurt that would have given off a positive image for other fat people. This is my opinion, and I won't change is just because some people choose to be immature and resort to name calling.



Now your being patronizing on top of adding fuel to the fire? This guy's a real class act!


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## Dromond

I'm now convinced he's not a troll. I'm also now convinced he is genuinely confused by the reaction to his thread.

The thread title is a question, but there is no question in the opening post. It is a flat statement that a fat woman munching on a croissant in public is irresponsible, because it makes others (him) uncomfortable to watch. Only at the end does he post a "question," which is really a fish for agreement.

While it should be obvious to anyone who isn't obtuse that such a manifesto on a site packed with big women would produce an extreme negative reaction, the gentleman in question is obviously obtuse. He doesn't get it. No amount of replies are going to make him get it. The thread starter is like a racist who has convinced himself he's not a racist because "some of my best friends are black."

It's an exercise in futility, and the only thing we are going to accomplish by continuing to attack him is to give him a persecution complex and to entrench his views deeper.


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## BigCutieClaudia

I've been following this thread since it began and I debated saying anything or keeping my mouth shut but here goes...fuck it...

I have often thought of myself in the context of being a "fat girl representative" for people. I don't look at it in a pompous way; but as taught by my mum when I step from the house, I put my best face and attitude forward..you never know who you will meet or what will happen 

I've taken public transit from time to time and yes i have eaten on the bus. At times I felt like "omg" i am so hungry but i really don't want to pig out on the bus with all of these people watching me.. and there were times when I was so hungry after getting off work that I didn't give a damn. 
I have had varying reactions from people, most do not give it a second thought, others have told me they wish they had what I was eating LOL 

I do not think it is the responsibility of every fat girl out there to be or to be looked at as a representative for a group of people; the woman was big, she was big and hungry big freaking deal!
It is unfair and downright fucked up to ask fat women to go hungry while in public for fear we might put truth to the sterotype that fat women EAT. 

It IS a sterotype. I was fat and starving myself for years as a dancer. It got to a point where I was terrified to eat in front of people or to let anyone besides my mum watch me have a meal..people like you helped fuel my insane compulsion to starve myself and it almost killed me. 

If that is what you call a love of fat women & bbw then from this particular fatty, you can keep it!
So on behalf of fat women everywhere: screw you.


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## mossystate

Dromond, as in most situations like this, what is said in response goes far beyond the particular person making the original comment. I don't care that he might dig in his heels more and never get it. I really don't care. 

That there are others who will read this thread and might check some of their attitudes about fat women, which include some who profess to be so on the side of fat people...that, along with the objects of his disgust having our say...those are the only things I care about, when all is said and done. 

Oh, and, he is not being " attacked " in the sense of the word that he is somehow being treated unfairly.

Let him run with his hate. He already had the persecution complex, as seen by his last post. He needed to be pushed to make that last post...to show more colors. Otherwise, he is just another fat ' lover ' who gets to compliment the fat ladies, while judging us at every turn. See, if he doesn't ' get it ', then the next time he wants a fat woman to give him advice and reassurance...well, lots of fat women will know that they might want to give their kindness to someone who actually likes them as human beings. That's the way the ball bounces.


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## Dromond

I'm not defending him, don't mistake me. His brand of thinking causes no end of pain in the world. I'm saying any attempt to educate him is wasted words. Now if people want to use this opportunity to give him a hearty "fuck you!" I'm certainly not going to try to stop anyone. Just realize it won't have an impact on him at all.


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## imfree

Dromond said:


> I'm not defending him, don't mistake me. His brand of thinking causes no end of pain in the world. I'm saying any attempt to educate him is wasted words. Now if people want to use this opportunity to give him a hearty "fuck you!" I'm certainly not going to try to stop anyone. Just realize it won't have an impact on him at all.



I'd love to Rep you n' Mossy, both.:bow:


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## NYCGabriel

LOVE the coneheads!!! virtual rep for thee!




superodalisque said:


> all i have to say is...


----------



## CastingPearls

LoveBHMS said:


> But it's not your job to represent the SA community any more than it is the woman the OP saw eating junk food. If eating in public makes somebody stressed or uncomfortable, why should they make themselves do it just in the name of SA?
> 
> No one individual has the burden to represent an entire demographic


THIS. It's not my responsibiity to 'represent', sorry. I don't do 'good fat girl' things and then pat myself on the back and expect SA community brownie points nor do I NOT do 'bad fat girl' things because it might offend assholes who are projecting their own neurotic issues.


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## fatgirlflyin

So, fat women should only eat apples and bananas in public but save the burgers for when they can eat them alone in shame? Hello eating disorder.

I love how sometimes people will come here, talk about how they love fat women and then back it up by saying shit like this. You've probably done a number of women here a favor, now they know YET another screenname to avoid.




thinguyforbbw said:


> well, i just think it is irresponsible. true, they're not doing anything wrong, but, it is still irresponsible - i mean, if they were eating a banana or apple, it would be different, but a fat lady next to me today got out a big croissant and started eating it and i felt like cringing because she was the fattest person in our compartment and was the only person eating. i sat there thinking that she is giving fat people a bad name, she should have been more responsible and waited till she left the train, i mean, in an ideal world she can eat what she likes where she likes, but in reality, we all have responsibilities, and if there is a negative stereotype against you, you should work to make sure that people change their perception, and her eating on the train just gave a really bad rep for fat people.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe

superodalisque said:


> kowtowing to prejudice isn't the answer. its a big mistake because hiding and secrecy validates the prejudice.



OP, if you read nothing else in this thread, read the above. THIS is the truth. Kowtowing to prejudices only validate them. 

In the show "Drop Dead Diva" when the fat protaganist says something in court about eating something the skinny little bitchy lawyer makes a snarky comment about expecting that she eats in private in the dark. Fat bigots think it's FUNNY that fat people eat alone, in secret. They ridicule it. If you're so against giving bigots what they want and living up to their prejudices, fat people eating their junk food at home should NOT be what you want.

Also, I read much of this thread on my lunch break. Which I spent outside, in public, while eating a bag of greasy, messy potato chips.  And you know what? Not ONE person paid me any attention. They were out there to do the same thing I was - enjoy the beautiful weather.


----------



## tonynyc

BigBeautifulMe said:


> OP, if you read nothing else in this thread, read the above. THIS is the truth. Kowtowing to prejudices only validate them.
> 
> In the show "Drop Dead Diva" when the fat protaganist says something in court about eating something the skinny little bitchy lawyer makes a snarky comment about expecting that she eats in private in the dark. Fat bigots think it's FUNNY that fat people eat alone, in secret. They ridicule it. If you're so against giving bigots what they want and living up to their prejudices, fat people eating their junk food at home should NOT be what you want.
> 
> Also, I read much of this thread on my lunch break. Which *I spent outside, in public, while eating a bag of greasy, messy potato chips.  And you know what? Not ONE person paid me any attention.* They were out there to do the same thing I was - enjoy the beautiful weather.



*S*ome folks need glasses ...


----------



## chicken legs

thinguyforbbw said:


> as i am sure you all know, i am not sizeist, and i like fat women.
> 
> i have often argued with friends who say that fat people are fat because they are lazy and just stuff their faces. but one thing i notice quite a lot is that on the trains you get fat women who are eating something, and that really frustrates me, because it just makes peoples prejudice stronger that fat people are fat because of their own irresponsibility. has anyone else felt the same way?



Not I...but then again..I'm a bit of perv and will watch intently, which would make the other person uncomfortable. But yeah it does frustrate me.


----------



## escapist

thinguyforbbw said:


> as i am sure you all know, i am not sizeist, and i like fat women.
> 
> i have often argued with friends who say that fat people are fat because they are lazy and just stuff their faces. but one thing i notice quite a lot is that on the trains you get fat women who are eating something, and that really frustrates me, because it just makes peoples prejudice stronger that fat people are fat because of their own irresponsibility. has anyone else felt the same way?



IDK, I'm Fat and I KNOW its because i'm irresponsible. I can drop 40 lbs in just 2 months by eating the right stuff and working out a little bit. I mean, everybody knows that for just basic health maintenance you should do at least 3-5 hours a week of cardiovascular exercise. Yet people tend to think they can eat a bag of chips and sit on the couch all day, and at work, and at home on the computer and that should be "normal". :doh:


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## Paquito

So is it just fat women, or do I have to put down the croissant too? 

Who wants to help me build my Batman eating lair? That way society isn't forced to see me eat ever again. Better build a grocery store too while we're at it, so no one will see me buy the chips or cookies or tubs of lard that I frequently scarf down.


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## Mikey

supersoup said:


> i'm going to carry around some dollar menu burgers and candy bars, and eat them in very public places for this thread. it's my version of pouring some out for my homies.
> 
> fuck your concern and embarrassment, i will eat what i want, when i want to eat it. and if it makes you uncomfortable, you have bigger issues. unless the fat people come sit in your lap and use your tie for a napkin, you should mind yer biz.



BRAVO!!!!! :bow:


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## AtlantisAK

Oh shit! Next thing you know, fat people eating in thier own houses will be irresponsible. 

What will we do then? 

x.X It does amaze me how people's minds work though, honestly. 

If I've gone all day without eating (which isn't good, cause I get lightheaded) and want to grab a quick bite during my busy life and the only 'quiet' moment I get is on the stupid bus...I'm gonna eat. 

I've done this before and I honestly wouldn't care what anyone thought. 

What would they think if I passed out on the bus? That I'm an unhealthy slob who doesnt take care of herself? (Wait! But I -was- going to take care of myself by eating something...but..)

I'm gonna shut up now. :doh:


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## Weeze

I'm disturbed that this thread is still here and open. There is the OP with his one opinion, and NO ONE is agreeing with him, NO ONE is defending him. I was told that I can't call him an idiot, but the fact that this thread that's obviously for him to vent his dislike of fat women is still going has me dumbfounded. Really? This is supposed to be the safe place. Why the fuck is it still here? We aren't able to link people to outside things that are fat hating, so why the fuck are we allowed to have "members" posting it straight out on our main boards? I'm really confused, and hurt.


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## Saoirse

Weeze said:


> I'm disturbed that this thread is still here and open. There is the OP with his one opinion, and NO ONE is agreeing with him, NO ONE is defending him. I was told that I can't call him an idiot, but the fact that this thread that's obviously for him to vent his dislike of fat women is still going has me dumbfounded. Really? This is supposed to be the safe place. Why the fuck is it still here? We aren't able to link people to outside things that are fat hating, so why the fuck are we allowed to have "members" posting it straight out on our main boards? I'm really confused, and hurt.



Yea, I dont get it either.


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## Rowan

thinguyforbbw said:


> well, i just think it is irresponsible. true, they're not doing anything wrong, but, it is still irresponsible - i mean, if they were eating a banana or apple, it would be different, but a fat lady next to me today got out a big croissant and started eating it and i felt like cringing because she was the fattest person in our compartment and was the only person eating. i sat there thinking that she is giving fat people a bad name, she should have been more responsible and waited till she left the train, i mean, in an ideal world she can eat what she likes where she likes, but in reality, we all have responsibilities, and if there is a negative stereotype against you, you should work to make sure that people change their perception, and her eating on the train just gave a really bad rep for fat people.



For you saying you're not sizeist, your posts sure make you seem like a fat hater.


----------



## velia

For this thread, tomorrow, I'm taking my 300-pound ass, going down to the MAX and eating a half-gallon of ice cream straight from the carton. Oh, and I'll be sure to moan quietly with pleasure so you'll know I'm not feeling the least bit irresponsible about what I'm eating. 

Thanks for the inspiration, thinguy! :kiss2:


----------



## imfree

This is atrocious, guys who stand on trains
and touch lines are the most irresponsible.

Warning: Graphic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_csMRo5R2C0


----------



## Heyyou

usually fat women are shy about eating in public. i see all kinds of people eating in public


----------



## tonynyc

It's irresponsible that public transportportation has replaced vintage comfy seats like these 








for this


----------



## LoveBHMS

Weeze said:


> I'm disturbed that this thread is still here and open. There is the OP with his one opinion, and NO ONE is agreeing with him, NO ONE is defending him. I was told that I can't call him an idiot, but the fact that this thread that's obviously for him to vent his dislike of fat women is still going has me dumbfounded. Really? This is supposed to be the safe place. Why the fuck is it still here? We aren't able to link people to outside things that are fat hating, so why the fuck are we allowed to have "members" posting it straight out on our main boards? I'm really confused, and hurt.



Ok, i honestly feel as if i read this differently from a lot of other posters.

i don't think he's a troll and don't think he's a fat hater. His issue with a fat woman eating a croissant was not that fat women should not eat croissants, but rather he's upset about what others are thinking about her. He specifically says in a perfect world she could eat what she wants, but she should have "responsibilities". He seems to be aware of what others think, or may think of this woman and wants her to be combatting the stereotype so hopefully they won't think negatively.

Now the responsiblity part, anyone's initial response is to disagree. Certainly it's not possible for one individual to represent an entire world of fatties. OTOH, several posters have mentioned feeling at least a minimal amount of this---at the very least an awareness that others look at them and they want to display a certain behaviour. 

If a fat person accomplished *something* and said "I want other fat people to see this is possible" would that be so poorly received? I don't think so. If a fat person agreed to appear in a news article being portrayed in some activity and said "I want the general public to see that fat people are not lazy/stupid/sick" would that be poorly received or would she be attacked for thinking she was a role model or representative? This board has had links to articles about fat people doing everything from competing in triathlons to being nominated for Academy Awards. There would be little point in doing that if there was not some idea that they represented the fat community.

There are an infinite number of posts on here where fat people or FA indignently state that they (or their partner) "doesn't have diabetes" or "is very active" or "doesn't eat junk food" or "isn't lazy". Those are just shorter ways of pointing out that somebody _doesn't_ fit a stereotype. If the OP were a fat hater, he wouldn't care about stereotypes and wouldn't be concerned over how the general public was viewing the fat woman.


----------



## joswitch

Weeze said:


> I'm disturbed that this thread is still here and open. There is the OP with his one opinion, and NO ONE is agreeing with him, NO ONE is defending him. I was told that I can't call him an idiot, but the fact that this thread that's obviously for him to vent his dislike of fat women is still going has me dumbfounded. Really? This is supposed to be the safe place. Why the fuck is it still here? We aren't able to link people to outside things that are fat hating, so why the fuck are we allowed to have "members" posting it straight out on our main boards? I'm really confused, and hurt.



I'm guessing mods are seeing value in the strength of the comebacks against the OP, rather than any merit in his posts?


----------



## wrestlingguy

AtlantisAK said:


> Oh shit! Next thing you know, fat people eating in thier own houses will be irresponsible.
> 
> What will we do then?



You can all come over and be irresponsible at my house.


Irresponsibility runs amok at *wrestlingguy's* house.







Seriously, stereotype reinforcement should be the last thing anyone needs to worry about. Small minded people will always subscribe to the stereotype, and it isn't going to mean a thing whether or not you nibble in front of them, in my opinion.

So, when a black man or woman walks out of a KFC with a bucket of fried chicken, the idiot looks and thinks to himself "yeah, it figures", whereas the non idiot thinks nothing, just walks in to place his/her order.

I find myself worrying far less about the idiots these days.

.


----------



## joswitch

LoveBHMS said:


> Ok, i honestly feel as if i read this differently from a lot of other posters.
> 
> i don't think he's a troll and don't think he's a fat hater. His issue with a fat woman eating a croissant was not that fat women should not eat croissants, but rather he's upset about what others are thinking about her. He specifically says in a perfect world she could eat what she wants, but she should have "responsibilities". He seems to be aware of what others think, or may think of this woman and wants her to be combatting the stereotype so hopefully they won't think negatively.



The OP has effectively internalised fat hatred.
His underlying motivations are irrelevant to anyone else but him.
His assertions in this thread are that BBWs should modify their behaviour to appease society's fat-hatred.
He is part of the problem.



> *snip*
> If a fat person accomplished *something* and said "I want other fat people to see this is possible" would that be so poorly received? I don't think so. If a fat person agreed to appear in a news article being portrayed in some activity and said "I want the general public to see that fat people are not lazy/stupid/sick" would that be poorly received or would she be attacked for thinking she was a role model or representative? This board has had links to articles about fat people doing everything from competing in triathlons to being nominated for Academy Awards. There would be little point in doing that if there was not some idea that they represented the fat community.



There's a difference between a positive exemplar who breaks a stereotype through life-affirming achievement, and someone who tries to shrink their lives - by curtailing their natural behaviour - purely to hide from hateful stereotypes. 
The former affirms that person's free agency = good for that person and other people inspired by them. The latter reduces that person's free agency = bad for that person and other people inspired by them.



> There are an infinite number of posts on here where fat people or FA indignently state that they (or their partner) "doesn't have diabetes" or "is very active" or "doesn't eat junk food" or "isn't lazy". Those are just shorter ways of pointing out that somebody _doesn't_ fit a stereotype. If the OP were a *fat hater,* he wouldn't care about stereotypes and wouldn't be *concerned* over how the general public was viewing the fat woman.



He talks (in this thread) and acts (cringing in public) like a *fat hater* so it doesn't matter to anyone else what his motivations are. 
*His effect on fat people = hateful. *
That his motivations do not match his actions is for him to sort out.

^The OPs "*concerns*" are very much his own problem / projection of his own body issues - see his third post in the thread.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

This is what we should all do if we think this is about to happen to fat people.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/1415/satu...rt-people-getting-punched-right-before-eating


----------



## LoveBHMS

> There's a difference between a positive exemplar who breaks a stereotype through life-affirming achievement, and someone who tries to shrink their lives - by curtailing their natural behaviour - purely to hide from hateful stereotypes.
> The former affirms that person's free agency = good for that person and other people inspired by them. The latter reduces that person's free agency = bad for that person and other people inspired by them.



So basically a fat person does something good and they reprsent all fatties but otherwise it's not their responsibility?

So why is it there is all this whining about it when a celebrity like Jennifer Hudson or M'onique loses weight? Why not just shrug it off and say it's up to them what they want to do and it's their business and the SA world should just ignore it.

And i disagree he's a fat hater. People are actually allowed to disagree with you. I genuinely think he doesn't buy into the stereotypes of fat people but is aware of them, as is anyone who comes on this board to say they or their partner is healthy or doesn't eat junk food. This discussion turned into whether it's ok for the fat woman to eat a croissant, and i really don't think that was his main point. 

FAs on this board talk all the time about others thinking their partners have certain characteristics. Let's say he knows a fat girl and his parents meet her. Parents say "Oh that girl must just sit around eating junk food all day". He knows that not to be the case and finds himself having to fight the stereotype. If he's used to hearing it all the time from his family or the media, it makes total sense he's going to be frustrated to see somebody behaving in the very way he's been telling others "No, not all fat girls are like that."


----------



## LovelyLiz

I agree that it's not such a simple issue of: the OP is a fat-hating jackass. He definitely has some issues to work out...but I don't think he's truly on the opposite side here.

It's a really tricky issue, because on one hand like a lot of the posters here I want to say "F*&% what anyone thinks, I'm going to live my life as I please and do what I want where I want."

But then the reality is, "what anyone thinks" can affect my daily life and other fat people, like when we're looking for a job, going to the doctor, and all kinds of everyday things.

This is not cut and dry.


----------



## KittyKitten

tonynyc said:


> It's irresponsible that public transportportation has replaced vintage comfy seats like these
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> for this



Oh my goodness! The before picture looked so comfortable!


----------



## fatgirlflyin

LoveBHMS said:


> FAs on this board talk all the time about others thinking their partners have certain characteristics. Let's say he knows a fat girl and his parents meet her. Parents say "Oh that girl must just sit around eating junk food all day". He knows that not to be the case and finds himself having to fight the stereotype. If he's used to hearing it all the time from his family or the media, it makes total sense he's going to be frustrated to see somebody behaving in the very way he's been telling others "No, not all fat girls are like that."



Wonder if he would expect that girl to only eat salad in front of his parents, so that they will see she doesn't sit around stuffing her face with junk?

There's no problem with someone being aware of stereotypes, and even in hating those stereotypes. There is a problem though, when someone expects a total stranger to change their behavior, behavior that is probably being exhibited by a number of other people at the same time, because they are afraid of what total strangers are thinking.

You are actually one of the most vocal people here that say CP doesn't represent (and doesn't harm) the fat community, so if she doesn't with her tv appearances and all the crap she's doing, why does some random fat woman sitting on a train eating a crossiant represnt the fat community?

Narrowminded people are going to believe stereotypes no matter what. They can see a fat woman eating a salad and in the back of their mind they are going to be thinking that fat cow is gonna stop at McDonalds on the way home, this salad is just for show.


----------



## CarlaSixx

tonynyc said:


> It's irresponsible that public transportportation has replaced vintage comfy seats like these
> 
> (pic)
> 
> for this
> 
> (pic)



I must be lucky. The public transportation in my city has just brought in new vehicles and the seats are more like the first, but individual seats and in blue. They're very comfy and have a velvet top, so short people like me who can't touch the floor when sitting properly won't fly off the seat when they make a hard brake or a sharp turn.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

mcbeth said:


> I agree that it's not such a simple issue of: the OP is a fat-hating jackass. He definitely has some issues to work out...but I don't think he's truly on the opposite side here.
> 
> It's a really tricky issue, because on one hand like a lot of the posters here I want to say "F*&% what anyone thinks, I'm going to live my life as I please and do what I want where I want."
> 
> But then the reality is, "what anyone thinks" can affect my daily life and other fat people, like when we're looking for a job, going to the doctor, and all kinds of everyday things.
> 
> This is not cut and dry.



But isn't it tiring living your life that way? I mean, I see having to do it to an extent, I constanly take into consideration how I behave will affect my children, but strangers? No thank you. 

I don't owe anything to the random fat woman walking down the street, she needs to make her way in her world and find a balance herself. Me eating a cookie on a public train shouldn't have any impact on her life at all.


----------



## LovelyLiz

fatgirlflyin said:


> But isn't it tiring living your life that way? I mean, I see having to do it to an extent, I constanly take into consideration how I behave will affect my children, but strangers? No thank you.
> 
> I don't owe anything to the random fat woman walking down the street, she needs to make her way in her world and find a balance herself. Me eating a cookie on a public train shouldn't have any impact on her life at all.



I totally agree that it's tiring and unfair and everything you said. I'm just saying that the reality is, what random fat people do DOES affect people's perceptions of fat people on the whole, and that in turn affects our daily lives.

Does that mean all fat people have to choose to be in the full-time fat person PR business? Definitely not. We can live as we want. But the reality is still that our actions as fat people do have a role in shaping public perception. I don't know the extent of it, it may be really small, but is it part of the reality of how the world works? I think it is.


----------



## musicman

joswitch said:


> :
> Let me break this down for you in really simple terms:
> 
> The *blame for negative stereotyping* lies in the stereotyp*er* - which in this case is *YOU!**
> NOT at all in the stereotyp*ee* which in this case is the lady on the train.
> 
> (*No, really it is YOU. Trust us.)
> 
> You have INTERNALISED what you are calling a negative stereotype.
> You are now carrying it around as part of your personality.
> 
> ...
> 
> To change size-negative attitudes in the world in general you have to change your own FIRST.




This is absolutely right. It is the stereotyping which is wrong, not the person being stereotyped, nor her actions or her body. If the OP is not a troll, he is at the very least enabling fat prejudice to continue, by rationalizing an internal mental state which is indistinguishable from that of a fat hater, at least to all external observers. Like others, I urge him to try to understand why he has bought into everyone else's hateful prejudice. If he truly likes fat women, he needs to explain why he sees them in the same light as the most bigoted fat-hater.

Also, I think the OP needs to learn about something called "empathy". He should try to imagine what life would be like in someone else's body. It is not easy, and some people are psychologically incapable of empathy, but I urge him to try.

I believe that prejudices survive long-term not because of overtly hostile acts, like shouted insults, denied seating at the lunch counter, or even lynchings, but because of the untold millions who look the other way and/or rationalize away their own feelings. They think, "Well, if everyone else feels that way..." This attitude is what we have to fight against every day.


----------



## mossystate

Let's start a list of all the things that fat women should keep in mind before leaving the house.

All fat women with arms ' too ' big...no sleeveless shirts. Rolls and stretchmarks are not to be displayed. Like with Croissantgate, one can wear something that will not bring attention to the evidence of how sloppy, flesh can be, and removes any doubt as to the private habits of the fat person. Wear a nice hankerchief linen fabric as you are munching on a Satsuma...a navel orange would be vulgar.

I get that what any person does affects not only how they are perceived as individuals, but also their ' group ', I just do not think the OP, from the things that came from him after the first post, is someone who was just bringing up an issue for simple discussion. No.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

mcbeth said:


> I totally agree that it's tiring and unfair and everything you said. I'm just saying that the reality is, what random fat people do DOES affect people's perceptions of fat people on the whole, and that in turn affects our daily lives.
> 
> Does that mean all fat people have to choose to be in the full-time fat person PR business? Definitely not. We can live as we want. But the reality is still that our actions as fat people do have a role in shaping public perception. I don't know the extent of it, it may be really small, but is it part of the reality of how the world works? I think it is.



I don't know, I think you're giving too much power to people. I don't think that many people pay too much attention to what the random stranger on the bus is doing, because they've got too much going on in their own lives to worry about what someone is or isn't eating. 

Also, exactly how many fat people does one stranger need to see shoving food in their mouths for them to think this is something all fat people do? One, ten, twenty, one hundred? A narrow minded person who believes the stereotypes about fat people doesn't even need to see one, they believe it because of their own prejudices. A person who lives their life and doesn't worry about others isn't going to care what some random fat person does. 

So what do we do about the people who beleive in the stereotypes? I dont know. What I do know is that I don't want to live my life not doing or eating what I want because some bigot might think negatively of me if I choose a burger over a salad, or if I choose to take the escalator rather than the stairs.


----------



## joswitch

LoveBHMS said:


> So basically a fat person does something good and they *reprsent* all fatties but otherwise it's not their responsibility?



You'll notice I used the word exemplar. 
As in someone like e.g. me, who's actions might inspire e.g. me.
That does not = representative.
It's you that keeps banging on about representatives.



> And i disagree he's a fat hater. People are actually allowed to disagree with you.* I genuinely think he doesn't buy into the stereotypes of fat people*



I am aware that you disagree with me. 
Aaaaaand.....
I don't care what he buys into.
The rest of the world doesn't experience the inside of his head.
The rest of the world experiences what he says and does.
The OP's in denial, re. his issues, and he's projecting nasty stuff onto other people.
This is not the fault of the people he's projecting onto. 



> *snip*
> * This discussion turned into whether it's ok for the fat woman to eat a croissant, and i really don't think that was his main point. *



^What? That was *exactly* his main point.
He cringed because the fat lady on the train (may she be blessed) did not have teh social / food police in her head that he has in his head.



> FAs on this board talk all the time about others thinking their partners have certain characteristics. Let's say he knows a fat girl and his parents meet her. Parents say "Oh that girl must just sit around eating junk food all day". He knows that not to be the case and finds himself having to fight the stereotype. If he's used to hearing it all the time from his family or the media, it makes total sense he's going to be frustrated to see somebody behaving in the very way he's been telling others "No, not all fat girls are like that."



Ugh. You don't have to explain this. Everybody gets this^.
The POINT:
*It doesn't matter how frustrated he gets with the stereotypERs - he doesn't get to blame the stereotypEEs.* He needs to GTFOIA. That is all.


----------



## joswitch

mcbeth said:


> I totally agree that it's tiring and unfair and everything you said. I'm just saying that the reality is, what random fat people do DOES affect people's perceptions of fat people on the whole, and that in turn affects our daily lives.
> 
> Does that mean all fat people have to choose to be in the full-time fat person PR business? Definitely not. We can live as we want. But the reality is still that our actions as fat people do have a role in shaping public perception. *I don't know the extent of it, it may be really small, but is it part of the reality of how the world works?* I think it is.



^but you wanna change that, right?


----------



## LovelyLiz

joswitch said:


> ^but you wanna change that, right?



Yes, I do. But it's a balance between realizing that I still need to get through the day now, even while the world remains "unchanged"...and waiting and working for the time when we can all eat croissants on trains unmolested.


----------



## joswitch

mcbeth said:


> Yes, I do. But it's a balance between realizing that I still need to get through the day now, even while the world remains "unchanged"...and waiting and working for the time when we can all eat croissants on trains unmolested.



F'sure. 
Guess you gotta choose when/where/how/how many daily battles you fight.
By the same token I guess you don't need anyone else (FA or otherwise) telling you how to be...


----------



## NYCGabriel

OH NOEZ!:doh::doh: I just ate 2 pieces of KFC crispy strips on the bus! I wonder what the other people must've thought of me! But wait.. I was responsible. I had a bottle of water with me. So I guess it canceled each other out!

*flips the OP the middle finger*


----------



## Gingembre

thinguyforbbw said:


> I personally thought it was irresponsible of her, and that if she was hungry, she should have eaten something healthier like a banana or apple or low-fat yoghurt that would have given off a positive image for other fat people.



The thing is...the point you're missing is...the fat-hating people on the train thinking "oh yes, how stereotypical, fatty eating a croissant - no wonder she's fat, doesn't she know ANYTHING about nutrition? Jeeeez, i would eat nothing but air if i looked like her" would instead be thinking "haha, fatty eating an apple. Who's she trying to kid? If she ate apples, she wouldn't be fat...obviously when she gets to her destination she's going to inhale the bag of cookies probably lurking in her handbag". True dat.

So, you see, the fact the lady was eating a croissant is neither here nor there. Coz the fat haters are the fat haters...the haters of fat. Not the haters of pastry consumption in public (they're a different bunch ).

The reason I am so offended and upset by your post is that you are supposedly in favour of size acceptance, and an admirer of fat women (aside point - stop encouraging croissant lady to switch to healthier foods - she might lose weight ). I was imaging how i would feel if you were my boyfriend - admiring my curves and telling me i'm fat and beautiful (which you would be doing, right, being "forbbw"?!)...then we were on a train, and I was hungry and pulled out a croissant. Either you'd whip it out of my hands and scold me for giving fatties a bad name, before handing me an orange, or you'd sit there cringing and being embarassed for me? How awful!

And for this reason, until you have sorted out the fact that you're obviously not as fat admiring and size accepting as you think you are, I hope you remain single. And I hope you don't live near me, for fear that you should see me eating in public...which I often do, as I try and control an unhealthy secret/binge eating habit. Which isn't helped by posts such as yours!


----------



## LovelyLiz

The question remains, then, if it is not the actions of fatties that do or do not give us a "bad" or "good" name, and fattie haters will be fattie haters no matter what we do or do not do...are we at a standstill then? Is there another way to change negative stereotypes? Or are they just going to be there no matter what and we need to just live our lives and not give a shit about them?

I guess I would like to think that somehow negative stereotypes don't have to always remain. But it seems like most everyone is saying (and perhaps rightly) that public behavior of fatties does not contribute to either solidifying them or changing them, as the OP suggested. So what does then? (Maybe this is too off topic. If so, I apologize.)


----------



## Gingembre

NYCGabriel said:


> OH NOEZ!:doh::doh: I just ate 2 pieces of KFC crispy strips on the bus! I wonder what the other people must've thought of me! But wait.. I was responsible. I had a bottle of water with me. So I guess it canceled each other out!



Nope, they think "he thinks water cancels out fried chicken? What a fool...he might as well have gone all out with an icecream shake". So thurrr


----------



## NYCGabriel

Gingembre said:


> Nope, they think "he thinks water cancels out fried chicken? What a fool...he might as well have gone all out with an icecream shake". So thurrr



:doh: of course of course of course! I guess it didn't matter since the pieces were about the size of an iPod Nano!


----------



## BigBeautifulMe

I'm about to have a smorgasboard of Thai foods for dinner. I'm thinking about spreading all 8 dishes out around me on a subway train and eating them all at once, sans utensils, while making loud "nomnomnom" noises. Also, I plan to do so naked, and making sure I jiggle my fat every which way every five seoncds or so. I may or may not cover myself in green curry at some point.


----------



## Wild Zero

BigBeautifulMe said:


> I'm about to have a smorgasboard of Thai foods for dinner. I'm thinking about spreading all 8 dishes out around me on a subway train and eating them all at once, sans utensils, while making loud "nomnomnom" noises. Also, I plan to do so naked, and making sure I jiggle my fat every which way every five seoncds or so. I may or may not cover myself in green curry at some point.



Can we buy this on Clips4Sale?


----------



## chicken legs

So the responsible action this guy should have taken was to say "F**k, I'm eating salads hence forth Mother Effers" (Scarface/Pulp Fiction style).??


----------



## LillyBBBW

I don't like seeing ANYBODY eat on public transportation. I just think it's nasty and unsanitary. It's a gut thought though and a bit hypocritical as well because I've done it. Going from job to job, I've opened something and eaten it on the way. It wasn't an apple or a banana either, they give me gas. People look at me and think what they want to think. I look at it this way: I'm fat, the mystery is solved. People who would get offended seeing me eat are people who were offended to begin with. There's nothing I can do about that but there IS something I can do to keep myself out of the ER. Eating on the way to a rehearsal is not irresponsible. What's irresponsible is passing out at a rehearsal and being revived by EMTs because I didn't do what I was supposed to do when I had the chance. Will these nosey assed people pay my medical bills and ambulance fees? No. So when I see people eating on the subway, I look away. It's a simple solution.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

mcbeth said:


> The question remains, then, if it is not the actions of fatties that do or do not give us a "bad" or "good" name, and fattie haters will be fattie haters no matter what we do or do not do...are we at a standstill then? Is there another way to change negative stereotypes? Or are they just going to be there no matter what and we need to just live our lives and not give a shit about them?




I think we need to not give a shit about them, because as you said they are going to be there no matter what. 

The people who buy into stereotypes are going to feel that way no matter what we do or don't do. Why live your life in any way other than what pleases you?


----------



## Mikey

Weeze said:


> I'm disturbed that this thread is still here and open. There is the OP with his one opinion, and NO ONE is agreeing with him, NO ONE is defending him. I was told that I can't call him an idiot, but the fact that this thread that's obviously for him to vent his dislike of fat women is still going has me dumbfounded. Really? This is supposed to be the safe place. Why the fuck is it still here? We aren't able to link people to outside things that are fat hating, so why the fuck are we allowed to have "members" posting it straight out on our main boards? I'm really confused, and hurt.



I agree 250%!!!!


----------



## Mikey

BigBeautifulMe said:


> I'm about to have a smorgasboard of Thai foods for dinner. I'm thinking about spreading all 8 dishes out around me on a subway train and eating them all at once, sans utensils, while making loud "nomnomnom" noises. Also, I plan to do so naked, and making sure I jiggle my fat every which way every five seoncds or so. I may or may not cover myself in green curry at some point.



I'll bring the lemon grass!!!


----------



## Paquito

I see it as a sort of "damned if you do, damned if you don't" thing when it comes to fat people and public eating.

"Oh, she's eating [junk food], she must stuff her face with that 24/7. No wonder she's so fat."

"Oh, she's eating [health food], she's obviously on a diet and trying to fix her problem. She's one of the good fatties."

"We never see her eat in public, she must secretly binge or have an eating disorder to cope with her fatness."

The only way to fight these are to live your life. Be yourself. Yea, narrow-minded people are going to gawk and judge, but it's your life. Fuck everyone else. Pushing fat people in a dark corner, or making them only do "acceptable" behaviors is just going to make things worse.


----------



## mossystate

Mikey said:


> I agree 250%!!!!



Why? Why is it so horrible having this conversation on Dims? As you can see, there is now a discussion happening. You think that there should only be talk about how much somebody eats and weighs? 

This topic is a reality for fat people. The OP, or more his attitude, is Exhibit A, at least for most of the people posting. The way it was brought up might not be the way it should officially go, but the OP is no longer the biggest issue. I think that might be why the thread has been allowed to remain open. 

If you do not think there are fat people reading this who might stand a little taller, knowing they have a right to not hide away...think again. If you do not think there are people reading this who who say they like fat people, who have just received a big fat reality check, and need to wonder about their own ' small ' judgements, no matter how loud and proud they claim to be...think again. 

It can't always be about gaingaingaineateateatweightweightweightpostpicsofyourfat24/7...well, shouldn't.

I do understand the hurt felt by some...I do. It surely made me cringe. I just think it has become beneficial in some ways.


----------



## Tina

Is a person who posts a question on a size-positive board asking "are fat women who eat on public transport irresponsible?" irresponsible? Yes. You are, however, getting more civilized discussion than your graceless question deserves, IMO.


----------



## exile in thighville

tonynyc said:


> It's irresponsible that public transportportation has replaced vintage comfy seats like these
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> for this



terribly sad but certainly not irresponsible; cleaning cushions requires more care than the mta can afford anymore, they're already woefully overpriced and understaffed. dirtier passengers and less money to clean them.


----------



## exile in thighville

i get the OP's impulse. but it's so misguided and bespeaks the worst aspect of society that he's asking the victims to abjure their own freedom in order to stop fueling the abusers; it's the she-wore-that-dress rape defense. eventually the OP will come around to this contradiction, though he should probably ask that his name on here be changed before he posts again when that happens.


----------



## tonynyc

exile in thighville said:


> terribly sad but certainly not irresponsible; cleaning cushions requires more care than the mta can afford anymore, they're already woefully overpriced and understaffed. dirtier passengers and less money to clean them.



And yet... more $$$$ for the MTA Board of Directors... true .. very sad indeed 

----

Now back to the OP's question - if he had simply said " *are people *who eat on public transportation irresponsible" then there could have been some discussion- he decides to make the assinine remark about our lovely BBW...

What's next---bitching about folks who take up more than two seats on public transportation


----------



## Carrie

Gingembre said:


> The thing is...the point you're missing is...the fat-hating people on the train thinking "oh yes, how stereotypical, fatty eating a croissant - no wonder she's fat, doesn't she know ANYTHING about nutrition? Jeeeez, i would eat nothing but air if i looked like her" would instead be thinking "haha, fatty eating an apple. Who's she trying to kid? If she ate apples, she wouldn't be fat...obviously when she gets to her destination she's going to inhale the bag of cookies probably lurking in her handbag".


Quoted for truthosityness. Fuck them, and double fuck anyone who sees me eating an apple and graces me with their "approval" because at least that fatty is _trying_.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe

exile in thighville said:


> i get the OP's impulse. but it's so misguided and bespeaks the worst aspect of society that he's asking the victims to abjure their own freedom in order to stop fueling the abusers; it's the she-wore-that-dress rape defense. eventually the OP will come around to this contradiction, though he should probably ask that his name on here be changed before he posts again when that happens.



An actual serious answer from Dan? 

And a good one, too. Wholeheartedly agree. Blaming the victim is not just disgusting, it's despicable. Rep coming your way, sir.


----------



## exile in thighville

BigBeautifulMe said:


> An actual serious answer from Dan?
> 
> And a good one, too. Wholeheartedly agree. Blaming the victim is not just disgusting, it's despicable. Rep coming your way, sir.



am i ever not serious


----------



## D_A_Bunny

thinguyforbbw said:


> as i am sure you all know, i am not sizeist, and i like fat women.
> 
> i have often argued with friends who say that fat people are fat because they are lazy and just stuff their faces. but one thing i notice quite a lot is that on the trains you get fat women who are eating something, and that really frustrates me, because it just makes peoples prejudice stronger that fat people are fat because of their own irresponsibility. has anyone else felt the same way?



Maybe you should try mentioning to the next fat lady that you see eating on the train that she is doing a disservice to all of the other fat people in the world by perpetuating the "fat is lazy and irresponsible" mantra. Maybe after you have her attention you can tell her that you find her attractive and ask for her number so that you might call her for a date.


----------



## CaitiDee

I stuff my face in my own car, but that doesn't really mean people can see it any less. I used to be self-conscious about it, but who gives a shit?

I'm fat. I like food. Get over it.


----------



## Sweet Tooth

I :wubu: too many of you after this thread, and I can't rep you all!

I've had moment of chosing - of my OWN volition - to try to positively represent fat women, but it's my choice, and I'm kinda thinking there are plenty of fat women who really don't want me representing them anyway.

I don't have to accept everything in this world. [ie asshat = non-acceptance... this is my random thought after reading the OP's "but this is an acceptance site!" rebuttal]

And I guess I'm glad I live in Detroit after this, where we have crap public transportation, and I can eat all the unhealthy, fattening, irresponsible stuff I want while driving down I-75 at 90 MPH and steering with my knees. And texting. And getting FB updates on my Crackberry. Yay!


----------



## thinguyforbbw

I really don't want to reply, as I really don't want the ill-feeling to continue here, but when so many wrong things are being said, I guess it is my "responsibility" to write.

First of all, it is nice to see that there are some people on this forum like drummond, lovebhms and mcbeth who are not narrow minded and are actually willing to consider what others are trying to say.

I have no problem with a fat person eating junk on the train - I believe people should do what they feel like they doing. If some fat person feels like eating junk, they should be able to, just like any other person should be able to. So personally, I have no problem. Society however does. Society judges, and whether you like it or not, you as a fat person eating is representing fat people, and by eating junk on a train, you're reinforcing the negative stereotypes.
Yes, there will hopefully come a time when very few people will have such stereotypes. But until that time comes, people should behave responsibly. I mean, someone mentioned the issue of she-got-raped-because-of-what-she-was-wearing. Of course, what a woman wears is no excuse for a man to violate her. But at the same time, it comes down to being responsible. If you have a teenage daughter who is going to go out late on town wearing nothing but very revealing clothes, then would you not tell her to cover up a bit? Wouldn't you be a bit more responsible? I mean, in an ideal world she can wear what she likes and not be bothered by any guys, yes? In an ideal world guys would not bother a woman sexually. But the reality is different. And so we all have an obligation to be responsible.

Answering whether I had a bbw wife and she wanted to eat a croissant on a train, well, I would be in no position to tell her what she can and cannot eat - she is a grown up woman, and that is her choice. I would tell her how I feel about her eating in public, namely, it is her right to eat what she likes when she likes, but that it might have an adverse affect on people's perception on other fat people, in particular women, but that would be as far as I would go.

People on this forum like to attack others and call them fat-haters, they like to take on the holier-than-thou attitude, but in reality, what you need to ask yourselves is, what have YOU done for fat people other than come on this forum and post messages? What have YOU done to change people's perception? People's attitude? Have YOU made any positive contribution? Have YOU written to your MP asking them to teach in schools about accepting that people come in all different shapes and sizes and that we should not discriminate because of this. Have YOU campaigned for advertising campaigns that appreciate different sizes? Have YOU talked to non-fat people and tried to make influence them so that they might appreciate fat people as being like normal people? Or have YOU just come here in your small community, posted a few pics so that those horny men who do like fat women go "whoa, wouldn't mind nailing you tonight babe", and felt good about yourself? Yes, doing a great deal for the fat community, aren't you?

There are a lot of people out there who make fun out of fat people but do not really hate them or have any prejudice. They just don't know any fat people and so think fat people are lazy and stuff themselves. These people can have their prejudices changed by education - but unfortunately, such kind of education does not yet exist on a mass scale. So until that time, I feel fat people should act more responsibly because they're representing all of fat people. Be prepared, if you think you might get hungry and need to eat on a train, eat before you leave your home or office. If you still think you might need to eat, take some half-fat snack bar or something. Others will then think positively of you, and by association, of other fat people. You might not care what others think of you, but other fat people might care about what others think of them, so, do it for them. That is all I was trying to say. How this equates to me hating fat people, I shall never know.


----------



## Paquito

Quit reading after the comparison to rape.


----------



## Mathias

That some nice moderating there, Mods! Top notch work!


----------



## tonynyc

Hyde Park?????????


----------



## CarlaSixx

Paquito said:


> Quit reading after the comparison to rape.



Same here. Not worth continuing. That's like the Twilight actress chick comparing getting photographed to getting raped. Absolutely ridiculous. And so wrong. It's offensive to those who actually HAVE BEEN through rape.

I shake my head at this last post. It isn't even really worth commenting about, really.

/wasted effort.


----------



## KittyKitten

Nine pages arguing about nothing....


----------



## CastingPearls

.........................................


----------



## NYCGabriel

thinguyforbbw said:


> why? because someone disagrees with you? really mature guy, aren't you.


it's your abhorrent lack of common sense and your pathetic attempts at back pedaling


----------



## thinguyforbbw

Paquito said:


> Quit reading after the comparison to rape.



I am glad, because the message was not intended for narrow-minded people like you who believe in "my way or the highway".
Of course, people like you tend to spin anything you disagree with - so now you're hitting on the sensitive subject of rape to try and make it sound that I am in some way justifying women being raped because of the way she dresses. 

Of course, I am not, but that's the way you want to try and spin in. Very mature - kudos to you.


----------



## DitzyBrunette

I'm virtually kissing Gabriel right now. This thinguy dude needs to just stop. I didn't actually read his post the first time I posted in this thread but I just read his last pitiful post. I feel sorry for whoever he does marry or date.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

NYCGabriel said:


> it's your abhorrent lack of common sense and your pathetic attempts at back pedaling



That is your opinion. My opinion is that you're very narrow minded and lack the capacity to comprehend beyond your idealistic world. That still does not make me want to break your every bone or whatever macho rubbish it was that you wrote.


----------



## NYCGabriel

Who are you to judge what a BBW eats on the bus? Who appointed you Grand High Protector of BBWs & BHM? Related to Cromwell are you? Get off your soap box. You're in the minority here bucko and you've lost.

Give it up.


----------



## Paquito

thinguyforbbw said:


> I am glad, because the message was not intended for narrow-minded people like you who believe in "my way or the highway".
> Of course, people like you tend to spin anything you disagree with - so now you're hitting on the sensitive subject of rape to try and make it sound that I am in some way justifying women being raped because of the way she dresses.
> 
> Of course, I am not, but that's the way you want to try and spin in. Very mature - kudos to you.



I bet you feel like a fucking big shot by condescending to me. But I'm happy to point out that unlike you, I'm not going to respond to negative stereotypes by shoving myself into a corner and hiding from society. Because that only lets the fat hate fester and grow. If I only eat an apple or a banana in public, if I deny myself, then I'm only feeding into the hatred. I'm a "good fatty."

No damnit, I refuse to live my life because of fear about what a bunch of damned bigots think of me or my lifestyle. So if you want to hide in your little hole and pretend that everything will be ok as long as fat people act "good," then so be it. But I'll be the one standing proudly, eating my croissant.


----------



## CarlaSixx

It's time for a croissant-eating movement!

Everybody go on public transpo on Monday and eat one! The croissant will thank you by nourishing you 

It's time to stand up against the croissant haters! Give the croissants their freedom to be eaten wherever the Hell they can!

Take a stand and eat a croissant today!!!


----------



## NYCGabriel

Go Paquito!


----------



## NYCGabriel

DitzyBrunette said:


> I'm virtually kissing Gabriel right now. This thinguy dude needs to just stop. I didn't actually read his post the first time I posted in this thread but I just read his last pitiful post. I feel sorry for whoever he does marry or date.



he is pathetic isnt he? I mean.. he's obviously a closet FA. a hateful, judgmental hypocritical one, isnt he?


----------



## tonynyc

Paquito said:


> I bet you feel like a fucking big shot by condescending to me. But I'm happy to point out that unlike you, I'm not going to respond to negative stereotypes by shoving myself into a corner and hiding from society. Because that only lets the fat hate fester and grow. If I only eat an apple or a banana in public, if I deny myself, then I'm only feeding into the hatred. I'm a "good fatty."
> 
> No damnit, I refuse to live my life because of fear about what a bunch of damned bigots think of me or my lifestyle. So if you want to hide in your little hole and pretend that everything will be ok as long as fat people act "good," then so be it. But I'll be the one standing proudly, *eating my croissant*.



Fuck the croissant ...







Have a Burger :happy:


----------



## Micara

I went to McDonald's today. Don't worry, I wore a full disguise and just went through the drive-through. I also explained to the worker that the Double Cheeseburger meal was for my skinny daughter at home. I was going to have some carrot sticks and water for my dinner. There, I've done my part.


----------



## NYCGabriel

CarlaSixx said:


> It's time for a croissant-eating movement!
> 
> Everybody go on public transpo on Monday and eat one! The croissant will thank you by nourishing you
> 
> It's time to stand up against the croissant haters! Give the croissants their freedom to be eaten wherever the Hell they can!
> 
> Take a stand and eat a croissant today!!!


----------



## NYCGabriel

tonynyc said:


> Fuck the croissant ...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Have a Burger :happy:



OMG! ME WANT!!!:smitten::smitten::smitten:


----------



## CarlaSixx

Monday morning, I'm getting a fucking Croissant-wich from Burger King and eating it out in fucking public. Maybe I'll even take a picture of it.


----------



## CarlaSixx

NYCGabriel said:


>



LOL! I saw this AFTER I just posted my last comment.

Too frikkin funny.


----------



## Paquito

Paquito said:


> I bet you feel like a fucking big shot by condescending to me. But I'm happy to point out that unlike you, I'm not going to respond to negative stereotypes by shoving myself into a corner and hiding from society. Because that only lets the fat hate fester and grow. If I only eat an apple or a banana in public, if I deny myself, then I'm only feeding into the hatred. I'm a "good fatty."
> 
> No damnit, I refuse to live my life because of fear about what a bunch of damned bigots think of me or my lifestyle. So if you want to hide in your little hole and pretend that everything will be ok as long as fat people act "good," then so be it. But I'll be the one standing proudly, eating my croissant.



I feel like I should have made that speech on a podium in front of a large crowd, instead of in my bedroom at 2:30 in the morning.


----------



## tonynyc

NYCGabriel said:


> OMG! ME WANT!!!:smitten::smitten::smitten:



I agree :bow: :bow: :bow: that is Burger heaven and the croissants aren't too bad either


----------



## tonynyc

Paquito said:


> I feel like I should have made that speech on a podium in front of a large crowd, instead of in my bedroom at 2:30 in the morning.



that would make for an interesting outcome...


----------



## NYCGabriel

tonynyc said:


> I agree :bow: :bow: :bow: that is Burger heaven and the croissants aren't too bad either



cripes. thats it... tomorrow im going to JOES BEST BURGER here in flushing and getting a double burger, fries, soda and their super uber crispy extra large chicken breast tender with BBQ sauce! AND A COOKIE!!!!


----------



## Lamia

thinguyforbbw said:


> I really don't want to reply, as I really don't want the ill-feeling to continue here, but when so many wrong things are being said, I guess it is my "responsibility" to write.
> 
> First of all, it is nice to see that there are some people on this forum like drummond, lovebhms and mcbeth who are not narrow minded and are actually willing to consider what others are trying to say.
> 
> I have no problem with a fat person eating junk on the train - I believe people should do what they feel like they doing. If some fat person feels like eating junk, they should be able to, just like any other person should be able to. So personally, I have no problem. Society however does. Society judges, and whether you like it or not, you as a fat person eating is representing fat people, and by eating junk on a train, you're reinforcing the negative stereotypes.
> Yes, there will hopefully come a time when very few people will have such stereotypes. But until that time comes, people should behave responsibly. I mean, someone mentioned the issue of she-got-raped-because-of-what-she-was-wearing. Of course, what a woman wears is no excuse for a man to violate her. But at the same time, it comes down to being responsible. If you have a teenage daughter who is going to go out late on town wearing nothing but very revealing clothes, then would you not tell her to cover up a bit? Wouldn't you be a bit more responsible? I mean, in an ideal world she can wear what she likes and not be bothered by any guys, yes? In an ideal world guys would not bother a woman sexually. But the reality is different. And so we all have an obligation to be responsible.
> 
> Answering whether I had a bbw wife and she wanted to eat a croissant on a train, well, I would be in no position to tell her what she can and cannot eat - she is a grown up woman, and that is her choice. I would tell her how I feel about her eating in public, namely, it is her right to eat what she likes when she likes, but that it might have an adverse affect on people's perception on other fat people, in particular women, but that would be as far as I would go.
> 
> People on this forum like to attack others and call them fat-haters, they like to take on the holier-than-thou attitude, but in reality, what you need to ask yourselves is, what have YOU done for fat people other than come on this forum and post messages? What have YOU done to change people's perception? People's attitude? Have YOU made any positive contribution? Have YOU written to your MP asking them to teach in schools about accepting that people come in all different shapes and sizes and that we should not discriminate because of this. Have YOU campaigned for advertising campaigns that appreciate different sizes? Have YOU talked to non-fat people and tried to make influence them so that they might appreciate fat people as being like normal people? Or have YOU just come here in your small community, posted a few pics so that those horny men who do like fat women go "whoa, wouldn't mind nailing you tonight babe", and felt good about yourself? Yes, doing a great deal for the fat community, aren't you?
> 
> There are a lot of people out there who make fun out of fat people but do not really hate them or have any prejudice. They just don't know any fat people and so think fat people are lazy and stuff themselves. These people can have their prejudices changed by education - but unfortunately, such kind of education does not yet exist on a mass scale. So until that time, I feel fat people should act more responsibly because they're representing all of fat people. Be prepared, if you think you might get hungry and need to eat on a train, eat before you leave your home or office. If you still think you might need to eat, take some half-fat snack bar or something. Others will then think positively of you, and by association, of other fat people. You might not care what others think of you, but other fat people might care about what others think of them, so, do it for them. That is all I was trying to say. How this equates to me hating fat people, I shall never know.



I spent years hating myself and being ashamed of being fat. I thought about suicide and used to punch myself in the stomach. I would alternate between gorging and then would starve myself for a week to punish myself. Do you have any F***ing idea what we've gone through? My journey was not an easy one. Actually not caring what society thinks was not easy. 

That hate was created by ME. I let society tell me to hate myself. F*** society. I'm not going to ask for forgiveness or meekly suggest tolerance. Please can I exist? Can I eat on a train, or on a plane or the grave of Kurt Cobain? 

Everyone knows what you are saying. You're saying to represent the fat community by being a positive role model. I agree that we should be positive role models, but my idea of being a positive role model is eating what I want in front of people. It's about not apologizing for who I am. Can you not understand that? It's about *NOT* allowing society to dictate how I should live my life. 

I think this is where you keep running into trouble. You're assuming anyone here cares about society or it's opinion. 

I am free. I am free from my self hate and my concern about being a good little fat girl and not eating in front of people. I am done torturing myself with diets so people can feel I'm "trying". I am done punishing myself. 

*By being myself is how I promote acceptance. By living my life without apology I am hoping to encourage other people to accept themselves. People seeing me happy and enjoying life that's the best example I can set for fat people.*


----------



## tonynyc

NYCGabriel said:


> cripes. thats it... tomorrow im going to JOES BEST BURGER here in flushing and getting a double burger, fries, soda and their super uber crispy extra large chicken breast tender with BBQ sauce! AND A COOKIE!!!!




Don't forget the drink....


----------



## DitzyBrunette

NYCGabriel said:


> he is pathetic isnt he? I mean.. he's obviously a closet FA. a hateful, judgmental hypocritical one, isnt he?



Yes he does seem closeted. It's a shame, the world needs more men to be open about their love of the big girls. We don't need the ones who are supposed to be on our side to put us down.


----------



## imfree

tonynyc said:


> Fuck the croissant ...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Have a Burger :happy:



My blood-sugar feels like it's about to
crash and that BBB (big beautiful 
burger) sure looks good, especially to
eat on any mode of public 
transportation, with absolutely no
regard for fallen crumbs!!!:eat2:


----------



## tonynyc

imfree said:


> My blood-sugar feels like it's about to
> crash and that BBB (big beautiful
> burger) sure looks good, especially to
> eat on any mode of public
> transportation, with absolutely no
> regard for fallen crumbs!!!:eat2:



Sure is and if I were to sit next to certain narrow minded folks on my daily commute... I'd make sure to enjoy every bite of this wonderful treat...


----------



## Shosh

The next time I ride the train I am going to do it in the evening in a revealing dress, and I am going to do so eating Tony's big burger.

Hey mate, GFY. Peace out.


----------



## imfree

Shosh said:


> The next time I ride the train I am going to do it in the evening in a revealing dress, and I am going to do so eating Tony's big burger.
> 
> Hey mate, GFY. Peace out.




That burger sounds mighty good, we need to do
a really big lunch on a really small and crowded
train. Of course the burgers must be really fresh
and hot so everyone, including those holier-than-
thou, judgmental types, would have to be 
tantalized by the aroma!

'Mon over to Tenn. Loop Ranch and we'll load
up some Fat Mo's for that train ride! 

View attachment fatmo8601.jpg


----------



## VickiNicole

I really think the OPS entire perspective is irresponsible
Why should fat people pretend like we don't eat? Who are we trying to fool into believing we don't eat? Does the general public think we got fat by starving ourselves? No! So seeing us eat shouldn't be a big surprise.
I think it's irresponsible for people to try to shame fat people into not eating in public or not eating in general. That is pushing a very prejudiced steroetype.
Most fat people got fat by dieting in the first place. So telling us "ooh don't eat in public, go hide somewhere and be ashamed of eating" is not going to make it better.
If she was hungry and wanted a croissant she should be able to eat it anwhere without someone giving negative commentary on it.





thinguyforbbw said:


> well, i just think it is irresponsible. true, they're not doing anything wrong, but, it is still irresponsible - i mean, if they were eating a banana or apple, it would be different, but a fat lady next to me today got out a big croissant and started eating it and i felt like cringing because she was the fattest person in our compartment and was the only person eating. i sat there thinking that she is giving fat people a bad name, she should have been more responsible and waited till she left the train, i mean, in an ideal world she can eat what she likes where she likes, but in reality, we all have responsibilities, and if there is a negative stereotype against you, you should work to make sure that people change their perception, and her eating on the train just gave a really bad rep for fat people.


----------



## Gingembre

Lamia said:


> *By being myself is how I promote acceptance. By living my life without apology I am hoping to encourage other people to accept themselves. People seeing me happy and enjoying life that's the best example I can set for fat people.*



Exactly this. Very well said.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Lamia said:


> _SNIPPED_
> I think this is where you keep running into trouble. You're assuming anyone here cares about society or it's opinion.
> 
> I am free. I am free from my self hate and my concern about being a good little fat girl and not eating in front of people. I am done torturing myself with diets so people can feel I'm "trying". I am done punishing myself.
> 
> *By being myself is how I promote acceptance. By living my life without apology I am hoping to encourage other people to accept themselves. People seeing me happy and enjoying life that's the best example I can set for fat people.*



Well said. I totally agree that none of us should allow fear or shame to rule our lives or our actions. And I'm glad you have found freedom from that.

My issue in this thread is not about the croissant. F the croissant. It's what you said about how the OP's problem is that he thinks anyone here cares about society or its opinions. On one hand, just to live as fat people and not hate ourselves, we have to learn to distance to a certain extent from society's opinions of fat people as a group. That's part of why we've learned to sing the chorus of "I don't give a F&*% what society thinks about me." It's an important part of learning to know our worth and value, in spite of a culture that can be overtly hostile at times.

But OTOH, there are plenty of threads that talk about how _because_ of the opinions of our society, some people find it difficult to get hired for a job, get promoted, or get fair medical care (to name a few examples I've seen lately). So we can't just say "F%$& society and its opinions, they don't matter to me" because the reality is, in our everyday lives those opinions DO affect us.

I am totally with everyone who says that this particular incident of the woman with the croissant on the train is not the most helpful way to come at this issue. But there is still an issue underneath that matters, I think. 

I absolutely live my life on my own terms, but because I still live in society and want fair treatment and opportunities, I don't have the luxury to say "I don't give a f*&% what society thinks about me." Whether someone eats a croissant is not going to be the thing that changes society's perceptions, but I just feel like telling society to screw off is being short-sighted.


----------



## Lamia

mcbeth said:


> Well said. I totally agree that none of us should allow fear or shame to rule our lives or our actions. And I'm glad you have found freedom from that.
> 
> My issue in this thread is not about the croissant. F the croissant. It's what you said about how the OP's problem is that he thinks anyone here cares about society or its opinions. On one hand, just to live as fat people and not hate ourselves, we have to learn to distance to a certain extent from society's opinions of fat people as a group. That's part of why we've learned to sing the chorus of "I don't give a F&*% what society thinks about me." It's an important part of learning to know our worth and value, in spite of a culture that can be overtly hostile at times.
> 
> But OTOH, there are plenty of threads that talk about how _because_ of the opinions of our society, some people find it difficult to get hired for a job, get promoted, or get fair medical care (to name a few examples I've seen lately). So we can't just say "F%$& society and its opinions, they don't matter to me" because the reality is, in our everyday lives those opinions DO affect us.
> 
> I am totally with everyone who says that this particular incident of the woman with the croissant on the train is not the most helpful way to come at this issue. But there is still an issue underneath that matters, I think.
> 
> I absolutely live my life on my own terms, but because I still live in society and want fair treatment and opportunities, I don't have the luxury to say "I don't give a f*&% what society thinks about me." Whether someone eats a croissant is not going to be the thing that changes society's perceptions, but I just feel like telling society to screw off is being short-sighted.



I think you missed the part where I said I was not letting society dicate how I felt about myself. I didn't say society didn't have the ability to affect my life. 

The OP argument is about catering to society in order to fit in, this is the context in which I speak. 

When I said "You're assuming anyone here cares about society or it's opinion:"...about eating in public is what I was thinking I just didn't add that part on.

I guess I am just really confused by your post. When you said:

"I am totally with everyone who says that this particular incident of the woman with the croissant on the train is not the most helpful way to come at this issue. But there is still an issue underneath that matters, I think." 

What issue are you referring too? Society's perceptions? Fat Acceptance?


----------



## LoveBHMS

There is a difference between catering and simple awareness.

If the OP were a fat hater he either would not care about stereotypes or seeing a fat person eat junk food would seem unremarkable to him because he'd just think "Oh no suprise there seeing a fat person eat a croissant."

If you take him at his word and he's an FA, then he's already used to hearing whatever negative stereotypes everyone has about the women he's attracted to. So when you're involved in fighting stereotypes it's naturally going to be frustrating seeing somebody lay truth to one. He's simply being practical and being aware of how others are going to view this type of behaviour. As McBeth says as much as you want to say "fuck society", he still has to live there and still has to live around the negative things said about women that he finds attractive. I honestly don't see this as any different from how Christians feel when they see televangelists spouting about religion and then being closet cases or how Muslims feels when the Taliban is brought up.


----------



## Lamia

McBeth I went back and read some of your other posts on this matter and it seems you're in agreement with his intent that fat people need to present themselves in the best light at all times in order to stave off society's venom. As you said what someone eats on the bus isn't going to change societies perceptions. 

Our fat is what they hate. I think it's short sighted to assume that's going to change unless people simply learn not to be grossed out by fat people. How are we supposed to change that other than lose weight? Why burden ourselves with it? 



LoveBHMS said:


> As McBeth says as much as you want to say "fuck society", he still has to live there and still has to live around the negative things said about women that he finds attractive. I honestly don't see this as any different from how Christians feel when they see televangelists spouting about religion and then being closet cases or how Muslims feels when the Taliban is brought up.



Explain to me how loving myself and ignoring the hate society spews at me is negative, or affecting his life or anyone elses. That's what [email protected]#2 society means to me. I am not sure what meaning you're giving it. Seriously, I am truly baffled by not one, but two people now upset that I'm not more upset about what soceity thinks of me.


----------



## VickiNicole

Amen Sister!!



Lamia said:


> my idea of being a positive role model is eating what I want in front of people. It's about not apologizing for who I am. Can you not understand that? It's about *NOT* allowing society to dictate how I should live my life.


----------



## MissStacie

thinguyforbbw said:


> I really don't want to reply, as I really don't want the ill-feeling to continue here, but when so many wrong things are being said, I guess it is my "responsibility" to write.
> 
> First of all, it is nice to see that there are some people on this forum like drummond, lovebhms and mcbeth who are not narrow minded and are actually willing to consider what others are trying to say.
> 
> I have no problem with a fat person eating junk on the train - I believe people should do what they feel like they doing. If some fat person feels like eating junk, they should be able to, just like any other person should be able to. So personally, I have no problem. Society however does. Society judges, and whether you like it or not, you as a fat person eating is representing fat people, and by eating junk on a train, you're reinforcing the negative stereotypes.
> Yes, there will hopefully come a time when very few people will have such stereotypes. But until that time comes, people should behave responsibly. I mean, someone mentioned the issue of she-got-raped-because-of-what-she-was-wearing. Of course, what a woman wears is no excuse for a man to violate her. But at the same time, it comes down to being responsible. If you have a teenage daughter who is going to go out late on town wearing nothing but very revealing clothes, then would you not tell her to cover up a bit? Wouldn't you be a bit more responsible? I mean, in an ideal world she can wear what she likes and not be bothered by any guys, yes? In an ideal world guys would not bother a woman sexually. But the reality is different. And so we all have an obligation to be responsible.
> 
> Answering whether I had a bbw wife and she wanted to eat a croissant on a train, well, I would be in no position to tell her what she can and cannot eat - she is a grown up woman, and that is her choice. I* would tell her how I feel about her eating in public, namely, it is her right to eat what she likes when she likes, but that it might have an adverse affect on people's perception on other fat people, in particular women, but that would be as far as I would go*.
> 
> People on this forum like to attack others and call them fat-haters, they like to take on the holier-than-thou attitude, but in reality, what you need to ask yourselves is, what have YOU done for fat people other than come on this forum and post messages? What have YOU done to change people's perception? People's attitude? Have YOU made any positive contribution? Have YOU written to your MP asking them to teach in schools about accepting that people come in all different shapes and sizes and that we should not discriminate because of this. Have YOU campaigned for advertising campaigns that appreciate different sizes? Have YOU talked to non-fat people and tried to make influence them so that they might appreciate fat people as being like normal people? Or have YOU just come here in your small community, posted a few pics so that those horny men who do like fat women go "whoa, wouldn't mind nailing you tonight babe", and felt good about yourself? Yes, doing a great deal for the fat community, aren't you?
> 
> There are a lot of people out there who make fun out of fat people but do not really hate them or have any prejudice. They just don't know any fat people and so think fat people are lazy and stuff themselves. These people can have their prejudices changed by education - but unfortunately, such kind of education does not yet exist on a mass scale. So until that time, I feel fat people should act more responsibly because they're representing all of fat people. Be prepared, if you think you might get hungry and need to eat on a train, eat before you leave your home or office. If you still think you might need to eat, take some half-fat snack bar or something. Others will then think positively of you, and by association, of other fat people. You might not care what others think of you, but other fat people might care about what others think of them, so, do it for them. That is all I was trying to say. How this equates to me hating fat people, I shall never know.



I just don't get you. I realize that you are honestly and truly behind everything you've said here, but you are pulling what I call a "Dubya"...you are wrong...and yet you've truly convinced yourself you are right and just. You said you'd tell your wife that she shouldn't eat in public. Well, are you kidding? Why don't you just hide her at home and make sure that she doesn't go out in public? I mean, she might grab a sample at Sam's Club, or she might wear a skirt that shows a little cellulite, or a sleeveless top that shows her wobbly arms!?!? Would you tell her what to wear, too? As to not show her chubby body, because God forbid if she showed what her body actually LOOKED like, she might be viewed as irresponsible??? 

I understand that you posted what you thought was a valid question, but I think that you need to let go what other people MIGHT think, and work on how YOU think. This discussion and all the responses show what we ALL do for the SA movement on a daily basis. We protect/support/encourage the members of our community, and even those that are not HERE, but in the real world who get the "looks" on the trains, buses, drive thru's, etc, that you CLAIM happen. Yeah, they might happen, but so what?? You might get looks because you are slight in frame, but if you go to a restaurant and order a salad, are YOU irresponsible because you don't eat more to support your health???

I'm so frustrated by your comments , and I'm glad this thread is still open...its one of the best ones we've had lately...


----------



## LoveBHMS

Lamia said:


> McBeth I went back and read some of your other posts on this matter and it seems you're in agreement with his intent that fat people need to present themselves in the best light at all times in order to stave off society's venom. As you said what someone eats on the bus isn't going to change societies perceptions.
> 
> Our fat is what they hate. I think it's short sighted to assume that's going to change unless people simply learn not to be grossed out by fat people. How are we supposed to change that other than lose weight? Why burden ourselves with it?
> 
> 
> 
> Explain to me how loving myself and ignoring the hate society spews at me is negative, or affecting his life or anyone elses. That's what [email protected]#2 society means to me. I am not sure what meaning you're giving it. *Seriously, I am truly baffled by not one, but two people now upset that I'm not more upset about what soceity thinks of me.*



Nobody said you should care what society thinks of you, and if you read the OP's post, he said ideally it would not matter at all. And everyone has said that no one individual can represent all fat people. I think all McBeth was saying is that she has an awareness of how others see her and she is aware of her own behaviour.


----------



## VickiNicole

There seems to be two trains of thoughts on the subject;
one saying: Screw what society thinks 
the other saying: No, you have to care what society thinks

I think as long as there are people thinking we should all act one rigid perfectly reaching for aboslute health, perfectly responsible ideal, there is always going to be the same people thinking people are doing it wrong.

That's just not fair. It's not fair to say that because fat people eat in public, they are being irresponsible. It's also irresponsible to tell fat people that that's irresponsible.

It's just a perpetual cyle of wrong.

Maybe that fat person on the public transit eating a croissant was using that as a way of FIGHTING the fat cause, that we can do anything anyone else can do.



mcbeth said:


> I absolutely live my life on my own terms, but because I still live in society and want fair treatment and opportunities, I don't have the luxury to say "I don't give a f*&% what society thinks about me." Whether someone eats a croissant is not going to be the thing that changes society's perceptions, but I just feel like telling society to screw off is being short-sighted.


----------



## Lamia

LoveBHMS said:


> . As McBeth says as much as you want to say "fuck society", he still has to live there and still has to live around the negative things said about women that he finds attractive. I honestly don't see this as any different from how Christians feel when they see televangelists spouting about religion and then being closet cases or how Muslims feels when the Taliban is brought up.



Society is going to say mean things about fat people he can't control that. I can't control that. No one can. By getting upset about it it gives them the power. I understand that he is affected by what society thinks of fat people. I truly do think he loves fat women and it hurts him to hear these things, but that comes with loving fat people.


----------



## LillyBBBW

LoveBHMS said:


> There is a difference between catering and simple awareness.
> 
> If the OP were a fat hater he either would not care about stereotypes or seeing a fat person eat junk food would seem unremarkable to him because he'd just think "Oh no suprise there seeing a fat person eat a croissant."
> 
> If you take him at his word and he's an FA, then he's already used to hearing whatever negative stereotypes everyone has about the women he's attracted to. So when you're involved in fighting stereotypes it's naturally going to be frustrating seeing somebody lay truth to one. He's simply being practical and being aware of how others are going to view this type of behaviour. As McBeth says as much as you want to say "fuck society", he still has to live there and still has to live around the negative things said about women that he finds attractive. I honestly don't see this as any different from how Christians feel when they see televangelists spouting about religion and then being closet cases or how Muslims feels when the Taliban is brought up.



Yes I understand but that doesn't mean it's okay or even understandable. People believe stereotypes about African Americans too but if I want to eat fried chicken or gnaw on a piece of watermelon I'm not going to stop and reflect upon how this appears to stupid people. Those people can sit and twirl on it for all I care and if someone is suggesting that I should somehow be mindful of this portion of 'society' then they're part of the problem as far as I'm concerned. I could see if he thought that everybody who eats a piece of bread on the train is gross. It's only gross when fat women do it? Come on... what the hell is that all about?


----------



## Carrie

The thing that really does not compute for me here is the notion that this woman on the train somehow had the power to affect anyone's negative perceptions of fat people at large (haha), simply by eating an apple. For the people on that train who already believe that all fat people eat is high-fat, high-carb, high-sugar food, are they really going to see the fat woman eating an apple and think, "hmm, maybe I should reexamine my beliefs!"? In my experience, no, not even a little bit. They will look at her and either: a). consider her an exception, that she is either on a diet, so yay her, or maybe she's only fat because she has a glandular problem, poor dear, or b). that the apple is a joke, as Gingembre said earlier in the thread, as in who does she think she's kidding, she probably has cookies in her pocket or is rushing home to eat a pie. Her eating an apple in public is not going to have any kind of significant impact on these people's perceptions of fat people. 

And @ thinguyfor bbw, just fyi: as for advising your spouse on what she should or shouldn't eat in public, that is an _excellent_ way to contribute towards an eating disorder. Just something to think about.


----------



## Gingembre

*whispers* I am in the uk and, as I type, I am on a train. I am eating a sandwich...a not very healthy sandwich...there are a few people in tie carriage. Most are ignoring me, but one man is looking at me. He's a bit red - looks like sunburn but perhaps it's embarrassment....i don't think he's thin enough to be "thinguyforbbw" tho. Probably just wishes he had the sandwich!


----------



## joswitch

thinguyforbbw said:


> I really don't want to reply, as I really don't want the ill-feeling to continue here, but when so many wrong things are being said, I guess it is my "responsibility" to write.
> 
> First of all, it is nice to see that there are some people on this forum like drummond, lovebhms and mcbeth who are not narrow minded and are actually willing to consider what others are trying to say.
> 
> I have no problem with a fat person eating junk on the train - I believe people should do what they feel like they doing. If some fat person feels like eating junk, they should be able to, just like any other person should be able to. So personally, I have no problem. Society however does. Society judges, and whether you like it or not, you as a fat person eating is representing fat people, and by eating junk on a train, you're reinforcing the negative stereotypes.
> Yes, there will hopefully come a time when very few people will have such stereotypes. But until that time comes, people should behave responsibly. *I mean, someone mentioned the issue of she-got-raped-because-of-what-she-was-wearing. Of course, what a woman wears is no excuse for a man to violate her. But at the same time, it comes down to being responsible. If you have a teenage daughter who is going to go out late on town wearing nothing but very revealing clothes, then would you not tell her to cover up a bit? Wouldn't you be a bit more responsible? I mean, in an ideal world she can wear what she likes and not be bothered by any guys, yes? In an ideal world guys would not bother a woman sexually. But the reality is different. And so we all have an obligation to be responsible.*



:doh::doh::doh:
Once again you are trying to pin-the-blame-on-the-victim.
Someone who gets raped is NEVER at fault cos of what they wore.
Someone who suffers fat-hating abuse in public is NEVER at fault for having something to eat.
Someone who is black is NEVER at fault cos a bunch of white-power racists drag them behind a truck until they die.
Someone who is gay is NEVER at fault cos a bunch homophobic assholes beat them to death.

Kow-towing to hateful people encourages that hatred.
That's what you are doing.



> *snip*
> People on this forum like to attack others and call them fat-haters, they like to take on the holier-than-thou attitude, but in reality, what you need to ask yourselves is, what have YOU done for fat people other than come on this forum and post messages? What have YOU done to change people's perception? People's attitude? Have YOU made any positive contribution? Have YOU written to your MP asking them to teach in schools about accepting that people come in all different shapes and sizes and that we should not discriminate because of this. Have YOU campaigned for advertising campaigns that appreciate different sizes? Have YOU talked to non-fat people and tried to make influence them so that they might appreciate fat people as being like normal people? Or have YOU just come here in your small community, posted a few pics so that those horny men who do like fat women go "whoa, wouldn't mind nailing you tonight babe", and felt good about yourself? Yes, doing a great deal for the fat community, aren't you?



^Pretty much everyone who has posted in response to you in this thread can answer: Plenty. 

Also: you really couldn't come across more unpleasant if you tried.



> There are a lot of people out there who make fun out of fat people but do not really hate them or have any *prejudice*.


No. Wrong.


> * They just don't know any fat people and so think fat people are lazy and stuff themselves.*


^That is the definition of prejudice.




> *snip*
> Be prepared, if you think you might get hungry and need to eat on a train, eat before you leave your home or office. If you still think you might need to eat, take some half-fat snack bar or something. Others will then think positively of you, and by association, of other fat people. You might not care what others think of you, but other fat people might care about what others think of them, so, do it for them. That is all I was trying to say. *How this equates to me hating fat people, I shall never know.*



^One last time.
Cos you are blaming the targets of hate, for the thoughts and actions of haters. 
You are TELLING targets of hate to be considerate of the feelings of haters. 
You are giving primacy to haters.
You are acting as their agent.
You are propagating hate.
You don't have to get it.
Just STOP.
FFS!

Also - danger! This is where you are headed:


----------



## joswitch

thinguyforbbw said:


> I am glad, because the message was not intended for narrow-minded people like you who believe in "my way or the highway".
> Of course, people like you tend to spin anything you disagree with - so now you're hitting on the sensitive subject of rape to try and make it sound that *I am in some way justifying women being raped because of the way she dresses*.
> 
> *snip*



^That's *exactly* what you wrote! No-one has to spin it!

Look pal, maybe all this stuff sounds perfectly reasonable rattling around inside your head.
But what you're writing on the page is hateful, blaming, shaming rubbish.


----------



## LoveBHMS

I used to waitress and bartend part-time. In that business there are tons of truisms and semi-truisms and stereotypes about who will and won't tip well. One of them is solo female diners. Because i am often on the road for my day job, i'm often a solo female diner. And because i've been on the other side of it, I'm always aware when i sit down that the waiter is probably annoyed at having to wait on me and that he or she is expecting a bad tip. The truth of it is, like everyone who's been in the restaurant business, I tip very well. Even though i know i tip well, I'm still aware of how the waiter is perceiving me. That's just the business. Do i have the same rights as all diners? Sure. Do i have the right to patronize anyplace i want? Sure. Is my money just as good as anyone's? Sure.

Not the point. They are still going to have a negative perception of me. And to that end it really really ticked me off when I had to wait on solo females and they gave me crappy tips because i thought "People already thought badly of you, I get awful service because of people like you, servers roll their eyes when they see you and you just gave them one more reason to." And clearly plenty of other tables give awful tips as well, but I admit to getting a special kind of annoyed with the ones who fit MY demographic because i have to suffer for it.


----------



## joswitch

CarlaSixx said:


> It's time for a croissant-eating movement!
> 
> Everybody go on public transpo on Monday and eat one! The croissant will thank you by nourishing you
> 
> It's time to stand up against the croissant haters! Give the croissants their freedom to be eaten wherever the Hell they can!
> 
> Take a stand and eat a croissant today!!!



Croissant flash mob! For freedom!


----------



## joswitch

LoveBHMS said:


> I honestly don't see this as any different from how Christians feel when they see televangelists spouting about religion and then being closet cases or * how Muslims feels when the Taliban is brought up.*



^AHahahahahaha that last bit made me LOL! 


Oh, wait... you were being serious???


----------



## jdsumm

LillyBBBW said:


> Yes I understand but that doesn't mean it's okay or even understandable. People believe stereotypes about African Americans too but if I want to eat fried chicken or gnaw on a piece of watermelon I'm not going to stop and reflect upon how this appears to stupid people. Those people can sit and twirl on it for all I care and if someone is suggesting that I should somehow be mindful of this portion of 'society' then they're part of the problem as far as I'm concerned. I could see if he thought that everybody who eats a piece of bread on the train is gross. It's only gross when fat women do it? Come on... what the hell is that all about?



Excellent post Liilly BBW :bow:

I have not read this entire thread so forgive me if I am being redundant. But from my perspective, if I were to do as the OP suggests and consider what I eat and what I wear in public, I believe I would be taking a huge step backwards. I used to live this way. Actually, I spent the majority of my adult life living this way. Don't eat junk in public. Don't wear too short of sleeves and pick the ugliest bathing suit in the world just because it covers everything possible. And for goodness sake wear a cover up over that bathing suit and when you take the cover up off, RUN to the water quickly! HIDE THAT FAT!! I wasted so much of my life, 20 years of it, waiting until the diet I was on would finally stick and I would get thin enough to live freely. Thin enough to eat junk food in public, to wear a sleeveless top or a bathing suit and feel the sun on my shoulders, thin enough to consider myself sexy enough to actually think someone else might think so too. When I lose weight this next time, I can lose enough weight to be good enough to date, good enough to love and be loved. Of course I lost lots of weight over the years, never enough, and never long enough. I have only known size acceptance for less than a year now and discovered it through Dims. I have just started seeing myself as beautiful, I have just begun to eat junk in public, I have begun to eat and exercise in order to feel good IN MY SKIN not to become something else. This is the first summer in years that I have let my fat fat arms wobble in public by wearing sleeveless tops, and I just bought two new tankini bathing suits. One of my very favorite things in the world is to swim. This summer I fully intend to do so without hiding or feeling shame!! And by God, I will pack a picnic for the beach and eat whatever I want to in public free of shame!!! Size acceptance for me, so far, has been to free myself from caring so much about what society thinks about me. And even more so to transform my own thinking, because I felt about myself the same way society does. It may sound silly but eating a candy bar instead of carrot sticks when I want a freakin candy bar, and doing it out in public, is at this point an expression of self-acceptance and self love. I know that may sound silly, but it is true; it is a message to myself that I am free to live and live fully now. That who I am is wonderful and good. What society thinks about me and my fat is hatred and I don't want to lose another moment of my life, my joy, my freedom to hate. To do as the OP asks, for me would be a huge win for hatred.


----------



## mszwebs

LoveBHMS said:


> I used to waitress and bartend part-time. In that business there are tons of truisms and semi-truisms and stereotypes about who will and won't tip well. One of them is solo female diners. Because i am often on the road for my day job, i'm often a solo female diner. And because i've been on the other side of it, I'm always aware when i sit down that the waiter is probably annoyed at having to wait on me and that he or she is expecting a bad tip. The truth of it is, like everyone who's been in the restaurant business, I tip very well. Even though i know i tip well, I'm still aware of how the waiter is perceiving me. That's just the business. Do i have the same rights as all diners? Sure. Do i have the right to patronize anyplace i want? Sure. Is my money just as good as anyone's? Sure.
> 
> Not the point. They are still going to have a negative perception of me. And to that end it really really ticked me off when I had to wait on solo females and they gave me crappy tips because i thought "People already thought badly of you, I get awful service because of people like you, servers roll their eyes when they see you and you just gave them one more reason to." And clearly plenty of other tables give awful tips as well, but I admit to getting a special kind of annoyed with the ones who fit MY demographic because i have to suffer for it.



I know what you're trying to say, but its kind of a bad example because if you're not in the restaurant industry, you probably don't know as a woman, that servers think you tip for shit when you dine alone lol. 

As fat people, we're all pretty aware of what society has a tendency to think, whether or not we pay attention.

That said, I think that there is a deeper issue here and I apologize if someone has addressed it... I think that they might have, but it bares repeating. 

So. In theory, it's irresponsible for me to eat my croissant on public transportation. OR, if we're following this line of thought, anywhere out where people are going to be gathered. I should be eating something healthier. OK.

So... what does that mean when I go to a RESTAURANT and get that croissant? Am I supposed to instead eat the apple there too? Or perhaps a nice salad. That seems safe enough. Dressing on the side. No dessert. Wouldn't want to be irresponsible. (where I'm eating solo and of course leave Loves a decent tip  )

So now, the only place I can eat food that isn't overtly 'healthy' is at home. Ahh, safety.

But wait. I have to buy the food at the grocery store, where if I put more than a bag lettuce and a damned apple, I might be irresponsibly offending society and playing into my own silly stereotype again.

FUCK.



How can someone fail to see how ridiculous that is? 

I think that what I picked up from this thread, and its the thing that makes me laugh the hardest is how we (fat people, women in particular) are supposed to WAIT until the negative stereotypes are gone before we commit the foolish act, much less in public. 

OK, so when is that? Next year? 20 years from now? Longer? Deal. I won't eat something 'irresponsible' until I'm 70, how about that. Is that enough time? And EXACTLY HOW are we supposed to bust these stereotypes? Apparently by not eating in public, guys (because as I stated in my example above location truly does not matter in the end) 

That'll show 'em!


And what happens when that stereotype goes away. A bunch of fat people ride a train croissant in hand, waving it in victory? Stuffing their faces, Spilling crumbs everywhere and making a mess so that people can say " I TOLD YOU SO" and more negative stereotypes are created?


Doesn't sound so great anymore, does it?


----------



## littlefairywren

thinguyforbbw said:


> I really don't want to reply, as I really don't want the ill-feeling to continue here, but when so many wrong things are being said, I guess it is my "responsibility" to write.
> 
> First of all, it is nice to see that there are some people on this forum like drummond, lovebhms and mcbeth who are not narrow minded and are actually willing to consider what others are trying to say.
> 
> I have no problem with a fat person eating junk on the train - I believe people should do what they feel like they doing. If some fat person feels like eating junk, they should be able to, just like any other person should be able to. So personally, I have no problem. Society however does. Society judges, and whether you like it or not, you as a fat person eating is representing fat people, and by eating junk on a train, you're reinforcing the negative stereotypes.
> Yes, there will hopefully come a time when very few people will have such stereotypes. But until that time comes, people should behave responsibly. I mean, someone mentioned the issue of she-got-raped-because-of-what-she-was-wearing. Of course, what a woman wears is no excuse for a man to violate her. But at the same time, it comes down to being responsible. If you have a teenage daughter who is going to go out late on town wearing nothing but very revealing clothes, then would you not tell her to cover up a bit? Wouldn't you be a bit more responsible? I mean, in an ideal world she can wear what she likes and not be bothered by any guys, yes? In an ideal world guys would not bother a woman sexually. But the reality is different. And so we all have an obligation to be responsible.
> 
> Answering whether I had a bbw wife and she wanted to eat a croissant on a train, well, I would be in no position to tell her what she can and cannot eat - she is a grown up woman, and that is her choice. I would tell her how I feel about her eating in public, namely, it is her right to eat what she likes when she likes, but that it might have an adverse affect on people's perception on other fat people, in particular women, but that would be as far as I would go.
> 
> People on this forum like to attack others and call them fat-haters, they like to take on the holier-than-thou attitude, but in reality, what you need to ask yourselves is, what have YOU done for fat people other than come on this forum and post messages? What have YOU done to change people's perception? People's attitude? Have YOU made any positive contribution? Have YOU written to your MP asking them to teach in schools about accepting that people come in all different shapes and sizes and that we should not discriminate because of this. Have YOU campaigned for advertising campaigns that appreciate different sizes? Have YOU talked to non-fat people and tried to make influence them so that they might appreciate fat people as being like normal people? Or have YOU just come here in your small community, posted a few pics so that those horny men who do like fat women go "whoa, wouldn't mind nailing you tonight babe", and felt good about yourself? Yes, doing a great deal for the fat community, aren't you?
> 
> There are a lot of people out there who make fun out of fat people but do not really hate them or have any prejudice. They just don't know any fat people and so think fat people are lazy and stuff themselves. These people can have their prejudices changed by education - but unfortunately, such kind of education does not yet exist on a mass scale. So until that time, I feel fat people should act more responsibly because they're representing all of fat people. *Be prepared, if you think you might get hungry and need to eat on a train, eat before you leave your home or office. If you still think you might need to eat, take some half-fat snack bar or something. Others will then think positively of you, and by association, of other fat people.* You might not care what others think of you, but other fat people might care about what others think of them, so, do it for them. That is all I was trying to say. How this equates to me hating fat people, I shall never know.



I am sorry to say, it does not work that way. If someone has a fat phobic attitude, it is not going to make a difference if I munch on a celery stick or a hamburger in public. 

I have always had a major hangup about eating in front of other people, so would go without food, so I could hopefully avoid getting abused for satisfying my human desire to eat. You see, I was verbally attacked for eating an APPLE in the street once. A piece of healthy fruit/food, like you suggest I keep handy should the need for me to eat arise.

It has taken me years to feel comfortable enough to sit with my girlfriends and eat a salad! I am tired of having to associate food with shame, of having to pretend that I hate my body.

You just highlight for me all the reasons why I should not eat in public again, because someone might be watching and thinking I should wait till I get home.


----------



## loggamatt

littlefairywren said:


> It has taken me years to feel comfortable enough to sit with my girlfriends and eat a salad! I am tired of having to associate food with shame, of having to pretend that I hate my body.
> 
> You just highlight for me all the reasons why I should not eat in public again, because someone might be watching and thinking I should wait till I get home.



That's what is most worrying about this thread. Lots of big people do have hangups about eating in public, I know I went through a phase of that myself when I was younger. So I hope this thread hasn't actually set anyone back in their own self-acceptance...


----------



## Rosebud

Would someone mind sharing the weight limits for eating in public? Or is this based on BMI? What is the cut-off point for irresponsibility?

Can someone also tell me why it is only ok to be fat if you are pretending you want to be thin? What is wrong with being fat in public and loving it?

I know, I'm full of questions this morning, but I'm headed to a picnic and I don't want to be offensive to society while I'm there.


----------



## mszwebs

Rosebud said:


> Would someone mind sharing the weight limits for eating in public? Or is this based on BMI? What is the cut-off point for irresponsibility?
> 
> Can someone also tell me why it is only ok to be fat if you are pretending you want to be thin? What is wrong with being fat in public and loving it?
> 
> I know, I'm full of questions this morning, but I'm headed to a picnic and I don't want to be offensive to society while I'm there.



Rose, see my post above.

You might as well just take a bottle of water with you and suffer through it. 

No food in public for YOU.


----------



## butch

The stereotypes work because they have the power to keep us, fat people, in line. That is the biggest problem with stereotypes-not that they color how others think about us, but that they affect how we live our lives. Stereotypes steal our power and give it all to the fat haters. 

So, when will the fat haters get rid of their fat hating beliefs? When we stop giving them the power to curtail our lives and lessen our self esteem. When they see that their hatful beliefs have no power over us, then the stereotypes will end. Their only function is to keep us marginalized and self-hating, and to give other people power they don't deserve.

So, the quickest way to get the fatphobes to lose their ignorant beliefs? Live your life as if their beliefs don't have any control over you, and enjoy the same pleasures and beauties of the world that thin people take for granted (sometimes). When they see that they can't artifically prop their own self-esteem up by knocking yours down, they'll stop.

Yep, I will admit you may not have the same opportunites that others have, because those beliefs are virulent and shared by the majority, but you'll have your self-agency, and you'll be helping to make the world a better place for future generations of fat people and others who have bodies that don't conform. 


As an aside: I was reading yesterday about Frank Kammeny, who is a pioneer in the GLBTQ Rights community. He lost his government job back in the 50's because he was gay, and helped lead the charge to make things much much better for GLBTQ people today. Because of him, GLBTQ people aren't automatically considered a security risk for government jobs, GLBTQ people aren't considered mentally ill by the medical field, and so on. I'd like to think, for me at least, that if I had to suffer through the kind of prejudice he did, in order to make the world better for me and millions of others, that I would think it was worth it. He is still alive, and gets to enjoy the world he had a strong hand in creating.


----------



## msbard90

Its like when I used to work as a waitress. More often than not, a fat girl will order a diet coke and a salad in front of their friends. A couple of points here: A) I've read that artificial sweeteners actually have been proven to make people crave sugar even more and B) That "salad" has more calories than a burger and fries. At any rate, who do you think us fatties are trying to kid here? Do you honestly think that a fat girl got fat from eating apples or bananas? I would respect the girl eating the croissant more than the banana because she's not afraid of what sexist, sizist jerks like you think about her.

Aww shit, while writing this post, I downed a nice big plate of Nachos... with whole fat sour cream and so much cheese you'd vomit, and my bedroom window was open for the public to view me! How embarassing!.....**hiding in closet**


----------



## Saoirse

So basically, I can order a fatty burger and fries and people will call me a nasty slob. Or I can order a salad and a diet soda (which I would rather have anyway, since I dont eat burgers) and people will say Aww lookit the stupid fat girl, trying to eat healthy!


got it.


----------



## mszwebs

Saoirse said:


> So basically, I can order a fatty burger and fries and people will call me a nasty slob. Or I can order a salad and a diet soda (which I would rather have anyway, since I dont eat burgers) and people will say Aww lookit the stupid fat girl, trying to eat healthy!
> 
> 
> got it.



Yes.

But whichever you choose, please be responsible.


----------



## indy500tchr

thinguyforbbw said:


> ... but in reality, what *you *need to ask yourselves is, what have *YOU *done for fat people other than come on this forum and post messages? I live my life as a fat confident woman...EVERYDAY! What have *YOU *done to change people's perception? People's attitude? Have *YOU *made any positive contribution? I be myself...EVERYDAY! Have *YOU *written to your MP asking them to teach in schools about accepting that people come in all different shapes and sizes and that we should not discriminate because of this. I have no clue what an MP is but I AM a teacher and teach tolerance to my children...EVERYDAY!Have *YOU *campaigned for advertising campaigns that appreciate different sizes? That's not my job. I'm sure others out there are fully capable of doing that.Have *YOU *talked to non-fat people and tried to make influence them so that they might appreciate fat people as being like normal people? Fat people are normal people already. It's just people like you who don't believe that.



Ok so berating fat women who eat on public transit answers which of these questions? Have YOU actually done any of these things? If not then I'd just STFU.


----------



## mszwebs

indy500tchr said:


> Ok so berating fat women who eat on public transit answers which of these questions? Have YOU actually done any of these things? If not then I'd just STFU.



Re: an MP

Get thee to the So, how much does America know about British politics? thread lol


----------



## NYCGabriel

imfree said:


> That burger sounds mighty good, we need to do
> a really big lunch on a really small and crowded
> train. Of course the burgers must be really fresh
> and hot so everyone, including those holier-than-
> thou, judgmental types, would have to be
> tantalized by the aroma!
> 
> 'Mon over to Tenn. Loop Ranch and we'll load
> up some Fat Mo's for that train ride!



that would be awesome. a train ride filled with munchies, good times and sight seeing! ive been to TN before when I was looking at Belmont U. I loved it.

GOD I need a BURGER!!


----------



## NYCGabriel

Gingembre said:


> *whispers* I am in the uk and, as I type, I am on a train. I am eating a sandwich...a not very healthy sandwich...there are a few people in tie carriage. Most are ignoring me, but one man is looking at me. He's a bit red - looks like sunburn but perhaps it's embarrassment....i don't think he's thin enough to be "thinguyforbbw" tho. Probably just wishes he had the sandwich!



LOL LOL LOL I just pictured him staring longingly at the sammich. What was it?

For some reason whenever I hear funny stories from people about their train rides, I think of this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsgJC6brhgc


----------



## Fat.n.sassy

Fat.n.sassy said:


> I hope you'll forgive me...In future, you may want to keep in mind that fat people in general may not feel comfortable enough to eat at work at even at home because of well meaning 'food police'.




Wow, it is CLEAR that may _name_ may be fat.n.sassy, but I'm clearly not sassy enough yet! LOL! Perhaps I need to develop a more "FO" fattitude!


----------



## mossystate

_" I would tell her how I feel about her eating in public, namely, it is her right to eat what she likes when she likes, but that it might have an adverse affect on people's perception on other fat people, in particular women, but that would be as far as I would go. "_

In particular women. That's as far as you would go? Gee, how nice of you. There's the wife, ready to go seize her day and hold her head high and enjoy what you thin people get to enjoy...and you would take the time to slap her down. And make no mistake, that is exactly what it would feel like to her.

Don't fully live your life, since the world is full of prejudice. Wait...wait...wait....wait....wait.......until that magical day when no person mocks and sneers over how you are conducting yourself as a fat person. Wait...wait...wait. Things change when fat people make no apologies, and thin people stop the " it's for your own good, I am concerned for you ", no matter the issue. Seriously, that is the only way. You can teach and talk until you are blue in the face, and the only way it changes is when the people who are told to sit and behave...don't. 

I have noticed that sometimes, people who are not fat tend to get very pissy and ask the fat folks what WE have done for this or that...when the fat folks do not dance when and how they are told. 


" _Have YOU talked to non-fat people and tried to make influence them so that they might appreciate fat people as being like normal people? _ "

We have tried, but you are not listening. We ain't dancin'. Deal with it.


----------



## CastingPearls

Micara said:


> I went to McDonald's today. Don't worry, I wore a full disguise and just went through the drive-through. I also explained to the worker that the Double Cheeseburger meal was for my skinny daughter at home. I was going to have some carrot sticks and water for my dinner. There, I've done my part.


Ha ha! I'm MORE responsible than YOU! I wore a burkha, asked a male relative to drive me to McDonalds and ordered apple dippers and passed on the low-fat caramel sauce. (You never know who's watching....)
Then I went home to my eating corral under the staircase and ate my apple wedges between frequent bouts of self-flagellation with a cat-o-nine-tails I ingeniously fashioned from a jump-rope and sharpened bobbie-pins. 
All in all it was a productive and non-offensive day.


----------



## cinnamitch

I have a strong desire to jump on the bus wearing nothing but a thong and holding a pizza and a box of Krispy Kremes.


----------



## NYCGabriel

cinnamitch said:


> I have a strong desire to jump on the bus wearing nothing but a thong and holding a pizza and a box of Krispy Kremes.



key lime donuts? if so, i'm there!


----------



## LovelyLiz

Lamia said:


> McBeth I went back and read some of your other posts on this matter and *it seems you're in agreement with his intent that fat people need to present themselves in the best light at all times in order to stave off society's venom*. As you said what someone eats on the bus isn't going to change societies perceptions.



No, I'm really not. I don't think any of us should have to live in bondage to hateful people who don't want us to exist and who think we are worthless or some other negative adjective based on our weight. I myself have gone through the journey from hiding in fat-girl shame, to being able to live my life as I choose out in the open and to just be myself and live in the way I want. And I am seriously glad for all of the fat people in this thread who talk about walking that same journey. It's freedom, and it's good.

But am I *aware* of some of the ways I may buck those stereotypes by my choice of clothing, or activity, or food, or whathaveyou? Eh, sometimes. Maybe in the beginning I realized it all the time since the voices of the haters still lived in my head full-time, but now I just kind of live my life most of the time.

The thing that I was trying to get at with my posts is that even though I didn't think the eating a croissant in public issue is worth exploring beyond saying let the woman eat her croissant in peace, *my deeper question was about the tension between not caring what society thinks (which I think is overall good and necessary to be strong, emotionally healthy people)...and the reality that the negative things society thinks can, and do, sometimes affect my life and the lives of other fat people negatively.*

So I want society's perceptions to change. And I've just been wondering aloud about how that is done. 



Lamia said:


> Our fat is what they hate. I think it's short sighted to assume that's going to change unless people simply learn not to be grossed out by fat people. How are we supposed to change that other than lose weight? *Why burden ourselves with it? *
> 
> Explain to me how loving myself and ignoring the hate society spews at me is negative, or affecting his life or anyone elses. That's what [email protected]#2 society means to me. I am not sure what meaning you're giving it. Seriously, *I am truly baffled by not one, but two people now upset that I'm not more upset about what soceity thinks of me.*



I'm not burdening us with it, I don't think. But I am acknowledging that we ARE burdened by it on a daily basis. To the extent that we can free ourselves of that burden and live as we choose, I think it's good that we do. There are ways that it affects us though that are out of our control, and I do want that to change. It's not going to happen by what we do or don't eat in public - but, as I asked earlier in the thread, how DOES it happen?

And to reiterate, I'm glad you are not upset about what society thinks of you. It's a freedom I wish for all fat people (and everyone else).



Carrie said:


> The thing that really does not compute for me here is the notion that this woman on the train somehow had the power to affect anyone's negative perceptions of fat people at large (haha), simply by eating an apple. For the people on that train who already believe that all fat people eat is high-fat, high-carb, high-sugar food, are they really going to see the fat woman eating an apple and think, "hmm, maybe I should reexamine my beliefs!"? In my experience, no, not even a little bit. They will look at her and either: a). consider her an exception, that she is either on a diet, so yay her, or maybe she's only fat because she has a glandular problem, poor dear, or b). that the apple is a joke, as Gingembre said earlier in the thread, as in who does she think she's kidding, she probably has cookies in her pocket or is rushing home to eat a pie. Her eating an apple in public is not going to have any kind of significant impact on these people's perceptions of fat people.



I think you're totally right, Carrie. I'm convinced that what a fat person eats or doesn't eat in public is not going to convince haters either way. And I just want to clarify, since I raised the issue in this thread, that it's really not about the croissant for me. *I am trying to ask more general questions about how are fat stereotypes formed, do actions of individuals play a role in that or not, if so should we care, if not are there other ways we change the stereotypes, etc. etc. etc.* 

This response from Butch I think has helped clarify some of the answers to those questions, for me, so I'm quoting it (even tho this post is already too long, sorry  ):



butch said:


> The stereotypes work because they have the power to keep us, fat people, in line. That is the biggest problem with stereotypes-not that they color how others think about us, but that they affect how we live our lives. Stereotypes steal our power and give it all to the fat haters.
> 
> So, when will the fat haters get rid of their fat hating beliefs? When we stop giving them the power to curtail our lives and lessen our self esteem. When they see that their hatful beliefs have no power over us, then the stereotypes will end. Their only function is to keep us marginalized and self-hating, and to give other people power they don't deserve.
> 
> So, the quickest way to get the fatphobes to lose their ignorant beliefs? Live your life as if their beliefs don't have any control over you, and enjoy the same pleasures and beauties of the world that thin people take for granted (sometimes). When they see that they can't artifically prop their own self-esteem up by knocking yours down, they'll stop.
> 
> Yep, I will admit you may not have the same opportunites that others have, because those beliefs are virulent and shared by the majority, but you'll have your self-agency, and you'll be helping to make the world a better place for future generations of fat people and others who have bodies that don't conform. SNIPPED


----------



## LovelyLiz

For anyone who doesn't want to read the long post above, here's a nutshell of what I'm trying (and maybe not succeeding...lol) to bring up in this thread:

*I am trying to figure out what is the appropriate relationship to have between myself and society's views and stereotypes about fat people. It's a tension between not wanting to live my life in shame or on someone else's terms, and still realizing that "someone else's terms" dictates some of how I can live my life.*

Since my thinking is still in process, that's probably why not everything has been coming out crystal clear. But some posts in this thread have been helpful to me, in continuing to work this out, but it's still something I'm thinking about - and I'm not settled on it.


----------



## TraciJo67

Knights in white satin, never reaching the end,
Letters I've written, never meaning to send.
Beauty I've always missed, with these eyes before.
Just what the truth is, I can't say anymore.

'Cos I love you, yes I love you, oh how I love you.

Gazing at people, some hand in hand,
Just what I'm going through they can't understand.
Some try to tell me, thoughts they cannot defend,
Just what you want to be, you will be in the end.

And I love you, yes I love you,
Oh how I love you, oh how I love you.

Knights in white satin, never reaching the end,
Letters I've written, never meaning to send.
Beauty I've always missed, with these eyes before.
Just what the truth is, I can't say anymore.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

I live my life for me, nobody else. It is not my responsibility to represent other fat people, let them get out there and live their lives and represent themselves. Personally, I feel if more fat people lived their lives doing what makes them happy then the world would be a much better place. Stereotypes would be dispelled because more fat people would be out in public instead of hiding out in their homes for fear of what people like YOU think they are/should be doing.

If I am hungry and want to shove a dozen krispy kremes down my throat while I'm on the bus I will, by the same token if I want an apple you'd see me eating an apple. 






thinguyforbbw said:


> I really don't want to reply, as I really don't want the ill-feeling to continue here, but when so many wrong things are being said, I guess it is my "responsibility" to write.
> 
> First of all, it is nice to see that there are some people on this forum like drummond, lovebhms and mcbeth who are not narrow minded and are actually willing to consider what others are trying to say.
> 
> I have no problem with a fat person eating junk on the train - I believe people should do what they feel like they doing. If some fat person feels like eating junk, they should be able to, just like any other person should be able to. So personally, I have no problem. Society however does. Society judges, and whether you like it or not, you as a fat person eating is representing fat people, and by eating junk on a train, you're reinforcing the negative stereotypes.
> Yes, there will hopefully come a time when very few people will have such stereotypes. But until that time comes, people should behave responsibly. I mean, someone mentioned the issue of she-got-raped-because-of-what-she-was-wearing. Of course, what a woman wears is no excuse for a man to violate her. But at the same time, it comes down to being responsible. If you have a teenage daughter who is going to go out late on town wearing nothing but very revealing clothes, then would you not tell her to cover up a bit? Wouldn't you be a bit more responsible? I mean, in an ideal world she can wear what she likes and not be bothered by any guys, yes? In an ideal world guys would not bother a woman sexually. But the reality is different. And so we all have an obligation to be responsible.
> 
> Answering whether I had a bbw wife and she wanted to eat a croissant on a train, well, I would be in no position to tell her what she can and cannot eat - she is a grown up woman, and that is her choice. I would tell her how I feel about her eating in public, namely, it is her right to eat what she likes when she likes, but that it might have an adverse affect on people's perception on other fat people, in particular women, but that would be as far as I would go.
> 
> People on this forum like to attack others and call them fat-haters, they like to take on the holier-than-thou attitude, but in reality, what you need to ask yourselves is, what have YOU done for fat people other than come on this forum and post messages? What have YOU done to change people's perception? People's attitude? Have YOU made any positive contribution? Have YOU written to your MP asking them to teach in schools about accepting that people come in all different shapes and sizes and that we should not discriminate because of this. Have YOU campaigned for advertising campaigns that appreciate different sizes? Have YOU talked to non-fat people and tried to make influence them so that they might appreciate fat people as being like normal people? Or have YOU just come here in your small community, posted a few pics so that those horny men who do like fat women go "whoa, wouldn't mind nailing you tonight babe", and felt good about yourself? Yes, doing a great deal for the fat community, aren't you?
> 
> There are a lot of people out there who make fun out of fat people but do not really hate them or have any prejudice. They just don't know any fat people and so think fat people are lazy and stuff themselves. These people can have their prejudices changed by education - but unfortunately, such kind of education does not yet exist on a mass scale. So until that time, I feel fat people should act more responsibly because they're representing all of fat people. Be prepared, if you think you might get hungry and need to eat on a train, eat before you leave your home or office. If you still think you might need to eat, take some half-fat snack bar or something. Others will then think positively of you, and by association, of other fat people. You might not care what others think of you, but other fat people might care about what others think of them, so, do it for them. That is all I was trying to say. How this equates to me hating fat people, I shall never know.


----------



## Gingembre

NYCGabriel said:


> LOL LOL LOL I just pictured him staring longingly at the sammich. What was it?
> 
> For some reason whenever I hear funny stories from people about their train rides, I think of this
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsgJC6brhgc



Haha, good link, altho generally I'm really not a Mr Bean fan (sorry!).

The sarnie (or, sammich, if you prefer) was brie and grape. On white french bread. With mayo. I was just feeling so goddamn irresponsible today!

Without staring back, I think it was an inquisitive "what is in that lovely looking sandwich?" kinda stare rather than longing. Or it's possible that he was just staring at me. I mean, I'd stare at me - I'm a hot piece of ass!  (IMHO, obviously ). 

Or, y'know, i could be totally off and he could have been thinking "oh goddd i'm so embarassed for her. I really need to get home so I can write about this on a size acceptance board." Or the red face couldda been him trying to control the urge to wrestle my lunch outta my hands and throw it out the window with a "oi, fatty, noooooooooooo!"

*shrugs*


----------



## NYCGabriel

Gingembre said:


> Haha, good link, altho generally I'm really not a Mr Bean fan (sorry!). [


That's okay. I forgive you!



Gingembre said:


> The sarnie (or, sammich, if you prefer) was brie and grape. On white french bread. With mayo. I was just feeling so goddamn irresponsible today!
> 
> Without staring back, I think it was an inquisitive "what is in that lovely looking sandwich?" kinda stare rather than longing. Or it's possible that he was just staring at me. I mean, I'd stare at me - I'm a hot piece of ass!  (IMHO, obviously ).
> 
> Or, y'know, i could be totally off and he could have been thinking "oh goddd i'm so embarassed for her. I really need to get home so I can write about this on a size acceptance board." Or the red face couldda been him trying to control the urge to wrestle my lunch outta my hands and throw it out the window with a "oi, fatty, noooooooooooo!"



LMAO!!! Brilliant!


----------



## fatgirlflyin

mcbeth said:


> For anyone who doesn't want to read the long post above, here's a nutshell of what I'm trying (and maybe not succeeding...lol) to bring up in this thread:
> 
> *I am trying to figure out what is the appropriate relationship to have between myself and society's views and stereotypes about fat people. It's a tension between not wanting to live my life in shame or on someone else's terms, and still realizing that "someone else's terms" dictates some of how I can live my life.*
> 
> Since my thinking is still in process, that's probably why not everything has been coming out crystal clear. But some posts in this thread have been helpful to me, in continuing to work this out, but it's still something I'm thinking about - and I'm not settled on it.



I think society's views of fat people will change when more people care less aboput society's views and just live their lives however it makes them happy.

As far as figuring out the balance between what society thinks and how you live your life, that's only something you can answer. I think it comes down what you are comfortable doing, and what you are willing to give up in order to be what society thinks you should be.


----------



## LovelyLiz

fatgirlflyin said:


> I think society's views of fat people will change when more people care less about society's views and just live their lives however it makes them happy.
> 
> As far as figuring out the balance between what society thinks and how you live your life, that's only something you can answer. I think it comes down what you are comfortable doing, and what you are willing to give up in order to be what society thinks you should be.



Yeah, maybe so (regarding the first paragraph). It's certainly not a bad way to go, no matter what. 

And yeah, I am pretty settled in how I live my life - but I do also think about larger social perceptions sometimes, and think it's worth continuing to think about what influences these. Maybe I'm alone in that, but I do think it's an important issue that continues to affect my daily life.


----------



## chicken legs

thinguyforbbw said:


> I guess it is my "responsibility" to write.
> 
> 
> I have no problem with a fat person eating junk on the train - I believe people should do what they feel like they doing. If some fat person feels like eating junk, they should be able to, just like any other person should be able to.* So personally, I have no problem.* Society however does. Society judges, and whether you like it or not, you as a fat person eating is representing fat people, and by eating junk on a train, you're reinforcing the negative stereotypes.
> 
> That is all I was trying to say. How this equates to me hating fat people, I shall never know.




First off....Amercians don't have as many etiquette rules when it comes to eating as the British do. So, we are not going to get where you are coming from in the first place. I'm guessing that even a fit woman eating a messy, flaking croissant would have raised an eyebrow. However, even we have to make fun of ourselves when it comes to eating in public..aka Carl's Jr. commercials and this funny spoof.

As a FA, it is your responsibility to be cool with seeing fat people eat in public as well as a ton of other stuff..lol. It is not cool to have spontaneous orgasms like myself or get in a huff because of what others might think. Reality is, you did have a problem and it was expressed in a negative way. 

A lot of the bbw/bhm have problems dealing with "closet Fa's" and you are like a screaming example of a "Closet Fa". I do understand that you are talking about social etiquette in Britain, on public transports..which I know nothing about. Plus considering how well written that was...you probably follow a lot of etiquette rules. So what I'm saying is, I take your gripe with a grain of salt and I want to get NYCGabriel down to Vegas for a couple of ***cough*** jobs ***cough***.


----------



## chicken legs

tonynyc said:


> Fuck the croissant ...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Have a Burger :happy:



fuck just having a plain burger


----------



## msbard90

Saoirse said:


> So basically, I can order a fatty burger and fries and people will call me a nasty slob. Or I can order a salad and a diet soda (which I would rather have anyway, since I dont eat burgers) and people will say Aww lookit the stupid fat girl, trying to eat healthy!
> 
> 
> got it.



I'm saying that you're not kidding anyone trying to eat "healthy" (go check up on the nutrition facts of some of the salads your favorite restaurant is offering). If eating a salad is your thing, good for you. But, just ordering one to look like a good fatty isn't doing you any justice. There's this one friend of mine who only eats the corner pieces of the square cut pizza to look skinny. She's not. And we all know she's holding out. I'd rather see a fatty stuff her face than pretend to be someone she's not so people won't call her a nasty slob. Oh and for the record, eating a burger isn't being a nasty slob. Its a sandwich, not a slop bucket! I guess my family, friends, the whole universe and myself are slobs!! How gratifying!


----------



## NYCGabriel

chicken legs said:


> fuck just having a plain burger



BWAHAHA!!!!!


----------



## Saoirse

How about I stick to my salads and not worry about what other people are thinking. I dont have to be a good or bad fatty. Im just a fatty.


----------



## Saoirse

msbard90 said:


> I'm saying that you're not kidding anyone trying to eat "healthy" (go check up on the nutrition facts of some of the salads your favorite restaurant is offering). If eating a salad is your thing, good for you. But, just ordering one to look like a good fatty isn't doing you any justice. There's this one friend of mine who only eats the corner pieces of the square cut pizza to look skinny. She's not. And we all know she's holding out. I'd rather see a fatty stuff her face than pretend to be someone she's not so people won't call her a nasty slob. Oh and for the record, eating a burger isn't being a nasty slob. Its a sandwich, not a slop bucket! I guess my family, friends, the whole universe and myself are slobs!! How gratifying!



and how do you know for certain that your friend eats that way to look skinny? Is it entirely possible that its just how she eats pizza and doesn't really have anything to do with her weight? Im not asking to sound snarky, just genuinely curious.

Saying that fatties should just stuff their faces is just as bad as saying fatties should nibble on carrots.

I dunno. This whole thread sits wrong with me.


----------



## Lamia

mcbeth said:


> For anyone who doesn't want to read the long post above, here's a nutshell of what I'm trying (and maybe not succeeding...lol) to bring up in this thread:
> 
> *I am trying to figure out what is the appropriate relationship to have between myself and society's views and stereotypes about fat people. It's a tension between not wanting to live my life in shame or on someone else's terms, and still realizing that "someone else's terms" dictates some of how I can live my life.*
> 
> Since my thinking is still in process, that's probably why not everything has been coming out crystal clear. But some posts in this thread have been helpful to me, in continuing to work this out, but it's still something I'm thinking about - and I'm not settled on it.



Keep in mind I was in the middle of a 10 hour shift so my brain wasn't functioning properly. I understand now that your post was more about your own battle with what society thinks, not an implication that the opinions of society should matter. 

The OP'S post really hit a nerve with me because it represents everything that kept me from allowing myself to be happy. 

I wish I knew how to give everyone the ability to REALLY not care. For years I would say "I don't care", but I deeply cared more than anything on the planet. One day some kids yelled "Fat ass" at me from a moving car. Someone with me said "Did they just call you fat ass?" and I realized then that I knew they were there, but the affect it had on me was about the same as if they had yelled "I like corn!!" out the window. Of course the person with me was angry and ready to go to battle for me. I was sad that it ruined the rest of their day. 

Important thing to note: Not my fault they yelled fatty. Guilt offered--->Not received. It's about not accepting delivery of the fetid, stinky packages of crap that society tries to leave on the doorstep of your soul. Just put "return to sender" and go about your day.

I hope this discussion helps you with your struggle. You don't owe any apologies to anyone. 

You're beautiful. You have value. You have the right to be who you are. You have done nothing wrong. You have not injured society by existing. Come with me into the world and let us eat donuts and laugh and be merry.


----------



## verucassault

:doh:

:doh: is apparently too short

okay then double :doh:


----------



## thinguyforbbw

I'm not a frequent visitor to this site. I come in now and again, and I probably won't post again for a while.

To close my take on this thread, I think it is very sad for those people who have lived their life being ashamed of their fat. *Not once was I suggesting fat people should hide away*. I think fat people should be able to wear what they like, if it shows fat arms or legs or whatever, who cares? One should always be happy with what they are.
I guess the debate in my mind was about giving other fat people a bad reputation by irresponsible actions. Showing your skin is not irresponsible, therefore, there is no problem that I have with fat people wearing revealing clothes. Eating in a restaurant is not irresponsible, because, *a restaurant is a place to eat and everyone else there is eating, so every fat person in the world should never ever feel ashamed of eating in a restaurant*. Eating on a train, well, we shall just have to agree to disagree.

One thing I will say is that I see a lot of fat militant-ism on this site. People saying they will do what they like, f*** the world. Posting pictures of burgers and saying they will eat them in public. I disagree with such gluttonous behaviour, forget about irresponsible, this is just plain selfish behaviour. But to each their own.

As for allegations that I am a closet FA ... well, it is true that I only tell selected people that I like fat women, but I do still tell them, so I am not a closet FA. As for just not telling everyone, well there are reasons.
I remember once sitting in a hotel having breakfast with a colleague, and a fat woman walked past, and I said to my colleague, "wow, look at her body", and he said "she's too big for you man, she needs a guy like me to take care of her needs" (he was over 6ft, well built). I also joined a dating site a few years back, and there was a profile of a fat woman put up by her friend. I talked to that friend, and she was like "you're a nice handsome guy, and my friend would like you, but you're just not suitable", and I was like, "why not?" and she was "oh, you're too small for her and I don't think you'll be able to handle her", and then she blocked me, so you see, there are negative stereotypes about thin guys, and so I will only tell people who I am close to that I like fat women. And one more thing, fat women are a lot more discriminatory against thin guys than thin guys are against fat women.

Peace.


----------



## AnnMarie

thinguyforbbw said:


> I'm not a frequent visitor to this site. I come in now and again, and I probably won't post again for a while.
> 
> To close my take on this thread, I think it is very sad for those people who have lived their life being ashamed of their fat. *Not once was I suggesting fat people should hide away*. I think fat people should be able to wear what they like, if it shows fat arms or legs or whatever, who cares? One should always be happy with what they are.
> I guess the debate in my mind was about giving other fat people a bad reputation by irresponsible actions. Showing your skin is not irresponsible, therefore, there is no problem that I have with fat people wearing revealing clothes. Eating in a restaurant is not irresponsible, because, *a restaurant is a place to eat and everyone else there is eating, so every fat person in the world should never ever feel ashamed of eating in a restaurant*. Eating on a train, well, we shall just have to agree to disagree.
> 
> One thing I will say is that I see a lot of fat militant-ism on this site. People saying they will do what they like, f*** the world. Posting pictures of burgers and saying they will eat them in public. I disagree with such gluttonous behaviour, forget about irresponsible, this is just plain selfish behaviour. But to each their own.
> 
> As for allegations that I am a closet FA ... well, it is true that I only tell selected people that I like fat women, but I do still tell them, so I am not a closet FA. As for just not telling everyone, well there are reasons.
> I remember once sitting in a hotel having breakfast with a colleague, and a fat woman walked past, and I said to my colleague, "wow, look at her body", and he said "she's too big for you man, she needs a guy like me to take care of her needs" (he was over 6ft, well built). I also joined a dating site a few years back, and there was a profile of a fat woman put up by her friend. I talked to that friend, and she was like "you're a nice handsome guy, and my friend would like you, but you're just not suitable", and I was like, "why not?" and she was "oh, you're too small for her and I don't think you'll be able to handle her", and then she blocked me, so you see, there are negative stereotypes about thin guys, and so I will only tell people who I am close to that I like fat women. And one more thing, fat women are a lot more discriminatory against thin guys than thin guys are against fat women.
> 
> Peace.




I wish _you_ peace. You need it. That's a lot of issues crammed in there, and I hope among all hopes that you find some sort of peace within yourself to deal with it all. You've internalized issues of others and made them your own - which in turn just passes them along to those you come in contact with, like here. 

Stop the cycle. Know yourself. Know your truth. Just live.


----------



## mossystate

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, there we have the real reason.:doh: The reason why you only seem to notice fat women being ' irresponsible '. 

As for " gluttonous behavior " - you sure seem to want..want...want...want...fat women to make you feel better about yourself. You want...want...want...to gorge yourself on it. Of course you do not find wearing ' revealing ' clothing to be irresponsible - it shows you what YOU want to see. It is the checklist mentality you possess when it comes to fat women. 
There are lots of people who find that fat people are being irresponsible flaunting ( yes, arms showing is flaunting to some ) their fat parts. Those people do think it equals being sloppy and it sends the wrong message about fat people...not caring what others think. Bad fat people.

You want what you want, when you want it. You want the fat spilling on you...exposed for you...teetering on high heels for you. You...you...you. 


Glutton.

Stop dumping on fat women just because you were rejected by one. It is a very tired way that prejudice gets so ingrained in a person.


----------



## mszwebs

Holler, Mossy.


----------



## mszwebs

Also...



thinguyforbbw said:


> I'm not a frequent visitor to this site. I come in now and again, and I probably won't post again for a while.
> 
> To close my take on this thread, I think it is very sad for those people who have lived their life being ashamed of their fat. *Not once was I suggesting fat people should hide away*. I think fat people should be able to wear what they like, if it shows fat arms or legs or whatever, who cares? One should always be happy with what they are.
> I guess the debate in my mind was about giving other fat people a bad reputation by irresponsible actions. Showing your skin is not irresponsible, therefore, there is no problem that I have with fat people wearing revealing clothes. Eating in a restaurant is not irresponsible, because, *a restaurant is a place to eat and everyone else there is eating, so every fat person in the world should never ever feel ashamed of eating in a restaurant*. Eating on a train, well, we shall just have to agree to disagree.




So we're not supposed to feel ashamed of eating in a restaurant - and even do it wearing sleeveless shirts and exposing various rolls etc - but everywhere else in public is a no go. Got it.

If that's not the case, then why wasn't the thread called *Are PEOPLE who eat on public transport irresponsible?*

Hmmm.


----------



## joswitch

chicken legs said:


> First off....Amercians don't have as many etiquette rules when it comes to eating as the British do. So, we are not going to get where you are coming from in the first place. I'm guessing that even a fit woman eating a messy, flaking croissant would have raised an eyebrow. However, even we have to make fun of ourselves when it comes to eating in public..aka Carl's Jr. commercials and this funny spoof.
> 
> As a FA, it is your responsibility to be cool with seeing fat people eat in public as well as a ton of other stuff..lol. It is not cool to have spontaneous orgasms like myself or get in a huff because of what others might think. Reality is, you did have a problem and it was expressed in a negative way.
> 
> A lot of the bbw/bhm have problems dealing with "closet Fa's" and you are like a screaming example of a "Closet Fa". I do understand that you are talking about social etiquette in Britain, on public transports..which I know nothing about. Plus considering how well written that was...you probably follow a lot of etiquette rules. So what I'm saying is, I take your gripe with a grain of salt and I want to get NYCGabriel down to Vegas for a couple of ***cough*** jobs ***cough***.



Trust me - it's not a British etiquette thing! We do not all live like in the Merchant Ivory films!


----------



## LovelyLiz

Lamia said:


> Keep in mind I was in the middle of a 10 hour shift so my brain wasn't functioning properly. I understand now that your post was more about your own battle with what society thinks, not an implication that the opinions of society should matter.
> 
> The OP'S post really hit a nerve with me because it represents everything that kept me from allowing myself to be happy.
> 
> I wish I knew how to give everyone the ability to REALLY not care. For years I would say "I don't care", but I deeply cared more than anything on the planet. One day some kids yelled "Fat ass" at me from a moving car. Someone with me said "Did they just call you fat ass?" and I realized then that I knew they were there, but the affect it had on me was about the same as if they had yelled "I like corn!!" out the window. Of course the person with me was angry and ready to go to battle for me. I was sad that it ruined the rest of their day.
> 
> Important thing to note: Not my fault they yelled fatty. Guilt offered--->Not received. It's about not accepting delivery of the fetid, stinky packages of crap that society tries to leave on the doorstep of your soul. Just put "return to sender" and go about your day.
> 
> I hope this discussion helps you with your struggle. You don't owe any apologies to anyone.
> 
> You're beautiful. You have value. You have the right to be who you are. You have done nothing wrong. You have not injured society by existing. Come with me into the world and let us eat donuts and laugh and be merry.



I appreciate the encouragement, thank you. 

To be clear, I'm totally fine with all the stuff you're talking about in terms of mean stares, people yelling things out the window, etc. I've been around long enough and feel confident enough with myself that those things don't bother me. I've been through that struggle in my early-mid 20s, and emerged on the other side. I don't let that stuff affect my life at all. I'm talking more about systemic issues - employment discrimination, unfair medical treatment, etc., and not about occasional emotional encounters from mean people. Systemic injustices and prejudices have the potential affect my life, and I'm not talking about my feelings, but my actual opportunities in the world. I just wonder if regular social prejudices play a role in those larger systemic problems.

Anyway, thanks again for your response. Sorry for my own lack of clarity, but I'm appreciating reading how others negotiate these realities too.


----------



## joswitch

thinguyforbbw said:


> I'm not a frequent visitor to this site. I come in now and again, and *I probably won't post again for a while.*



PAAARRRRRRTAYYY! 

(sorry, I couldn't resist it)



> To close my take on this thread, I think it is very sad for those people who have lived their life being ashamed of their fat. *Not once was I suggesting fat people should hide away*. I think fat people should be able to wear what they like, if it shows fat arms or legs or whatever, who cares? One should always be happy with what they are.
> I guess the debate in my mind was about giving other fat people a bad reputation by irresponsible actions. Showing your skin is not irresponsible, therefore, there is no problem that I have with fat people wearing revealing clothes. Eating in a restaurant is not irresponsible, because, *a restaurant is a place to eat and everyone else there is eating, so every fat person in the world should never ever feel ashamed of eating in a restaurant*. *Eating on a train, well, we shall just have to agree to disagree.*
> 
> One thing I will say is that I see a lot of fat militant-ism on this site. People saying they will do what they like, f*** the world. *Posting pictures of burgers and saying they will eat them in public. I disagree with such gluttonous behaviour, forget about irresponsible, this is just plain selfish behaviour.* But to each their own.
> 
> As for allegations that I am a closet FA ... well, it is true that I only tell selected people that I like fat women, but I do still tell them, so I am not a closet FA. As for just not telling everyone, well there are reasons.
> I remember once sitting in a hotel having breakfast with a colleague, and a fat woman walked past, and I said to my colleague, "wow, look at her body", and he said "she's too big for you man, she needs a guy like me to take care of her needs" (he was over 6ft, well built). I also joined a dating site a few years back, and there was a profile of a fat woman put up by her friend. I talked to that friend, and she was like "you're a nice handsome guy, and my friend would like you, but you're just not suitable", and I was like, "why not?" and she was "oh, you're too small for her and I don't think you'll be able to handle her", and then she blocked me, so you see, there are *negative stereotypes about thin guys*, and so I will only tell people who I am close to that I like fat women. And one more thing, fat women are a lot more discriminatory against thin guys than thin guys are against fat women.
> 
> Peace.



Boy, have you got issues!
You've got food issues!
You've got body issues!
You've got projection issues!
You've got self-esteem and empathy issues!

Your hang ups have got hang ups!

Get thee to a shrink! quick sharp!


----------



## LoveBHMS

> Boy, have you got issues!
> You've got food issues!
> You've got body issues!
> You've got projection issues!
> You've got self-esteem and empathy issues!
> 
> Your hang ups have got hang ups!
> 
> Get thee to a shrink! quick sharp!


Is it really necessary to be *edit* to this guy?

So he got something wrong, so what? All FAs are not perfect and lots of good FAs are made, not born. FAs have paths to self discovery like fat people and pretty much like everyone. It just damned infuriates me when somebody has the audacity to make a mistake, or voice something wrong, or articulate something wrong and it's like open season.

You have no right telling somebody they have issues and need to see a shrink. It's rude. What's the outcome of this thread? A non-perfect FA got ripped to shreds and probably now is going to be a lot more headshy about the FA/BBW community. Nicely done.


----------



## AtlantisAK

thinguyforbbw said:


> well, i just think it is irresponsible. true, they're not doing anything wrong, but, it is still irresponsible - i mean, if they were eating a banana or apple, it would be different, but a fat lady next to me today got out a big croissant and started eating it and i felt like cringing because she was the fattest person in our compartment and was the only person eating. i sat there thinking that she is giving fat people a bad name, she should have been more responsible and waited till she left the train, i mean, in an ideal world she can eat what she likes where she likes, but in reality, we all have responsibilities, and if there is a negative stereotype against you, you should work to make sure that people change their perception, and her eating on the train just gave a really bad rep for fat people.



I kinda think this is going a little overboard hun. Where is this book of responsibilities that we have to abide by?

There are -always- going to be negative stereotypes against any race, size, mental ability or what have you. No matter what. 

If all fat women (and men!) stopped eating out in public and on the transit, then there may be a chance there's a new stereotype out that states: Fat people are -so- embarassed to be seen eating out in public and do their chocolate fudge ice cream and croissant eating in their houses like hermits. 

Free world hun...it's a free world. People will always think what they want and find something just as petty to think about if the first scenario isn't present.

Like I mentioned in an earlier post, if I'm hungry and need to eat, I'm gonna do it. I don't care what others think around me, I'd rather not have a dizzy spell if the timing is wrong. I think the world should (and probably do) have more important things to focus on than a fattie eating on the bus.

But, that's just my opinion! People are so hard to figure out that it's almost not worth worrying about.


----------



## TraciJo67

joswitch said:


> PAAARRRRRRTAYYY!
> 
> (sorry, I couldn't resist it)
> 
> 
> 
> Boy, have you got issues!
> You've got food issues!
> You've got body issues!
> You've got projection issues!
> You've got self-esteem and empathy issues!
> 
> Your hang ups have got hang ups!
> 
> Get thee to a shrink! quick sharp!


 
Josey, I think a few people need to look again at the parts that you've highlighted and are responding to. OP is not a monster, but he's an extremely (EXTREMELY) conflicted "FA" and if he does, in fact, slam himself back into the closet, I think it would be for the best. I'll throw in the nails.


----------



## Paquito

Hopefully he can get his own body image issues sorted out without projecting them on other people.


----------



## mszwebs

TraciJo67 said:


> Josey, I think a few people need to look again at the parts that you've highlighted and are responding to. OP is not a monster, but he's an extremely (EXTREMELY) conflicted "FA" and if he does, in fact, slam himself back into the closet, I think it would be for the best. I'll throw in the nails.



Just an FYI, the OP did the bolding, not...Josey lol.


----------



## TraciJo67

mszwebs said:


> Just an FYI, the OP did the bolding, not...Josey lol.


 
Oops I usually call him "Josey" when I'm actively trying to be patronizing. My bad :doh:


----------



## mossystate

Enough with making this about some poor ' fa ' who has taken a wrong turn in a big scary forest. GAH. Sometimes, it really is not about struggling fa's...amazing, I know. Fa's are like normal people...they can be very nasty to fat people, and still want to fuck them. It's true.

His type of thinking is all about wanting fat people to roll back into their closets, when the senses of people like him are assaulted. How can fat people show their bodies/eating habits/what we wear in ways that make faces look like they have just smelled the most disgusting thing in the world. The fat person ' should ' do this...do that...get that procedure done...not wear that...stop eating that, there, then.

You ' fa's ' that want to help those like him and guide them...do it...but really do it, and know that the stuff is deep and much of it will have nothing to do with the kinds of bodies he is attracted to. Don't come out here and expect the targets of their ugliness to whip one out for them. 

His PM box must sure be full with all those other fa's helping to guide him, sans the " yeah, some of those fattykins sure are touchy and mean ". Yeah.


----------



## LillyBBBW

LoveBHMS said:


> I used to waitress and bartend part-time. In that business there are tons of truisms and semi-truisms and stereotypes about who will and won't tip well. One of them is solo female diners. Because i am often on the road for my day job, i'm often a solo female diner. And because i've been on the other side of it, I'm always aware when i sit down that the waiter is probably annoyed at having to wait on me and that he or she is expecting a bad tip. The truth of it is, like everyone who's been in the restaurant business, I tip very well. Even though i know i tip well, I'm still aware of how the waiter is perceiving me. That's just the business. Do i have the same rights as all diners? Sure. Do i have the right to patronize anyplace i want? Sure. Is my money just as good as anyone's? Sure.
> 
> Not the point. They are still going to have a negative perception of me. And to that end it really really ticked me off when I had to wait on solo females and they gave me crappy tips because i thought "People already thought badly of you, I get awful service because of people like you, servers roll their eyes when they see you and you just gave them one more reason to." And clearly plenty of other tables give awful tips as well, but I admit to getting a special kind of annoyed with the ones who fit MY demographic because i have to suffer for it.



These two scenarios are not equivalent to one another. Bad tippers are deadbeats. One, two, three of them together - nobody likes them and the habit is a poor one.... but eating?? Seriously. ALL humans must eat. You're talking about the demonization of a basic function for man to survive, not robbing people or taking advantage. How is anyone suffering from a fat woman eating some bread, and please don't hand me any lines about people writhing on the floor suffering for their bigoted views. This is the very thing that people are trying to stare down every day here. The perception of wrong-doing on the part of a fat person who is exercising the same survival instinct that everyone else can demonstrate freely without reprisal is wrong. Not unless s/he were eating something that any person of any size would be criticized for. It was a croissant. If some skinny supermodel were eating that in public people would be handing her a sandwhich. People are out of control with their prejudices and it's not ok.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

thinguyforbbw said:


> .* At 5 ft 7 and bing extremely thin, I have been called anorexic, made fun of by people in the street, endured sarcastic comments like "Arnie" or "big guy" etc, so I am the last person who would go around discriminating someone because of their size. But at the same time, I am a realist, and the reality is, people do have negative stereotypes about others. In a utopia you would tell everyone that their stereotype is wrong, and the whole world would live happily ever after, in reality, things are different, and we all have a responsibility. I mean, when it is hot, do I walk around bare chested? How many of you so-called anti-sizeists can honestly say that if you saw a 32 year old guy with a pathetic skinny body like that of a teenage kid walking around bare-chested who everyone was staring at, you would not feel a bit embarrassed for him?*
> 
> People are different, and not all fat people are comfortable with being fat. Why should one of you be able to tell a fat person that they should be happy being fat? Who are you to make that decision? What we should tell people is that they should be happy being what they feel happy with, and that can be fat, or thin. One is not better than the other.



Reading this particular part of your post....the part where you are so intensely insecure about your body due to your weight.....I could feel for you a tadbit. Not because I'm fat though but because I spent a large portion of my life in love with and married to a thin man. It took me a while to realize that he was as insecure about his size and how people viewed him as I was about my own. 

One major difference between you and him though: He didn't believe that what other people thought of him, or his choice in a partner, should have any bearing on how he lived his life. 
He never hesitated of slowed down when faced with his insecurities....he just kept on stepping to wherever it is he wanted to go. 

I admired that about him. He, in fact, gave me a much better viewpoint of myself and gave me my first orgasm. He would have _never_ had a conversation with me about what strangers in public think of me and how I should change my behavior for them. 

You're a person that came here and claimed to "admire" fat women....yet your counsel to them would be to "hide" or somehow "change" themselves to please people that they have never met and will most likely never have any true or _significant_ bearing upon our lives. 
You see no error in your perception/thinking? Do you enjoy living your life this way? I assume you must since you expect others to want/behave the same. 

That thin man gave me a great gift and helped to instill a confidence in me that still enters my mind and heart when confronted with those that seek to put me down/have ill intent. 

Why would you want to give any woman that you would love enough to marry anything less?



joswitch said:


> You're entirely missing the point.
> The point is:
> 
> *Regardless of size, anybody and everybody gets to eat in public*, and no-one gets to judge someone else for that without being a huge douchebag. *



Life really _is_ this simple. 




disconnectedsmile said:


> I personally think it's irresponsible of you to feel you have the right to dictate what people, of *any* size, should and should not eat in public.



This, too. 





> CarlaSixx wrote:
> Humans need to eat to live. Let her eat. At least she's not doing something illegal on the transit.



Yes. Who did she hurt? I mean reallllyyyyy hurt? 
If she doesn't purse snatch or carjack, why spend so much time on this?



wrestlingguy said:


> I find myself worrying far less about the idiots these days.



And this.....exactly. I'm half past give a shit about what others think about me eating a piece of chicken in my car when I'm hungry. 
I clean my own mess. End of discussion.



BigBeautifulMe said:


> I'm about to have a smorgasboard of Thai foods for dinner. I'm thinking about spreading all 8 dishes out around me on a subway train and eating them all at once, sans utensils, while making loud "nomnomnom" noises. Also, I plan to do so naked, and making sure I jiggle my fat every which way every five seoncds or so. I may or may not cover myself in green curry at some point.



I came...........................to Dimensions and read this post 



LillyBBBW said:


> I don't like seeing ANYBODY eat on public transportation. I just think it's nasty and unsanitary. It's a gut thought though and a bit hypocritical as well because I've done it. Going from job to job, I've opened something and eaten it on the way. It wasn't an apple or a banana either, they give me gas. People look at me and think what they want to think. I look at it this way: * I'm fat, the mystery is solved. *People who would get offended seeing me eat are people who were offended to begin with. There's nothing I can do about that but there IS something I can do to keep myself out of the ER. Eating on the way to a rehearsal is not irresponsible. What's irresponsible is passing out at a rehearsal and being revived by EMTs because I didn't do what I was supposed to do when I had the chance. Will these nosey assed people pay my medical bills and ambulance fees? No.* So when I see people eating on the subway, I look away. It's a simple solution*



:bow:



LillyBBBW said:


> Yes I understand but that doesn't mean it's okay or even understandable. People believe stereotypes about African Americans too but if I want to eat fried chicken or gnaw on a piece of watermelon I'm not going to stop and reflect upon how this appears to *stupid people*. Those people can sit and twirl on it for all I care and if someone is suggesting that I should somehow be mindful of this portion of 'society' then *they're part of the problem* as far as I'm concerned. I could see if he thought that everybody who eats a piece of bread on the train is gross. It's only gross when fat women do it? Come on... what the hell is that all about?



Exactly. I said it already but I will keep on saying it because it's so easy for me....who cares what idiots and fucktards think?
But I think I need to clarify that people who stereo-type are idiots and fucktards since that part doesn't seem to be crystal clear to some.....




LoveBHMS said:


> I used to waitress and bartend part-time. In that business there are tons of truisms and semi-truisms and stereotypes about who will and won't tip well. One of them is solo female diners. Because i am often on the road for my day job, i'm often a solo female diner. And because i've been on the other side of it, I'm always aware when i sit down that the waiter is probably annoyed at having to wait on me and that he or she is expecting a bad tip. The truth of it is, like everyone who's been in the restaurant business, I tip very well. Even though i know i tip well, I'm still aware of how the waiter is perceiving me. That's just the business. Do i have the same rights as all diners? Sure. Do i have the right to patronize anyplace i want? Sure. Is my money just as good as anyone's? Sure.
> 
> Not the point. They are still going to have a negative perception of me. And to that end it really really ticked me off when I had to wait on solo females and they gave me crappy tips because i thought "People already thought badly of you, I get awful service because of people like you, servers roll their eyes when they see you and you just gave them one more reason to." And clearly plenty of other tables give awful tips as well, but I admit to getting a special kind of annoyed with the ones who fit MY demographic because i have to suffer for it.



Funny, I used to be a waitress.....just as my mother before me was. We expect good service when we eat out. I tip.

Someone gives me shitty service? I don't tip.

I also might report them to management if they piss me off on top of it all.

It's still simple for me. I don't let what people think about me determine how much I enjoy my food, my time out or my life. 

Unless I actually know a person, I don't tend to waste my time on such worries.

Just wanted that to be on record since this was used as an analogy about stereo-types. You really don't have to let it affect you. 



TraciJo67 said:


> Knights in white satin, never reaching the end,
> Letters I've written, never meaning to send.
> Beauty I've always missed, with these eyes before.
> Just what the truth is, I can't say anymore.
> 
> 'Cos I love you, yes I love you, oh how I love you.
> 
> Gazing at people, some hand in hand,
> Just what I'm going through they can't understand.
> Some try to tell me, thoughts they cannot defend,
> Just what you want to be, you will be in the end.
> 
> And I love you, yes I love you,
> Oh how I love you, oh how I love you.
> 
> Knights in white satin, never reaching the end,
> Letters I've written, never meaning to send.
> Beauty I've always missed, with these eyes before.
> Just what the truth is, I can't say anymore.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rkgm1yGgbM

:bow: :happy:



thinguyforbbw said:


> I'm not a frequent visitor to this site. I come in now and again, and I probably won't post again for a while.
> 
> To close my take on this thread, I think it is very sad for those people who have lived their life being ashamed of their fat. *Not once was I suggesting fat people should hide away*. I think fat people should be able to wear what they like, if it shows fat arms or legs or whatever, who cares? One should always be happy with what they are.
> I guess the debate in my mind was about giving other fat people a bad reputation by irresponsible actions. Showing your skin is not irresponsible, therefore, there is no problem that I have with fat people wearing revealing clothes. Eating in a restaurant is not irresponsible, because, *a restaurant is a place to eat and everyone else there is eating, so every fat person in the world should never ever feel ashamed of eating in a restaurant*. Eating on a train, well, we shall just have to agree to disagree.
> 
> One thing I will say is that I see a lot of fat militant-ism on this site. People saying they will do what they like, f*** the world. Posting pictures of burgers and saying they will eat them in public. I disagree with such gluttonous behaviour, forget about irresponsible, this is just plain selfish behaviour. But to each their own.
> 
> As for allegations that I am a closet FA ... well, it is true that I only tell selected people that I like fat women, but I do still tell them, so I am not a closet FA. As for just not telling everyone, well there are reasons.
> I remember once sitting in a hotel having breakfast with a colleague, and a fat woman walked past, and I said to my colleague, "wow, look at her body", and he said "she's too big for you man, she needs a guy like me to take care of her needs" (he was over 6ft, well built). I also joined a dating site a few years back, and there was a profile of a fat woman put up by her friend. I talked to that friend, and she was like "you're a nice handsome guy, and my friend would like you, but you're just not suitable", and I was like, "why not?" and she was "oh, you're too small for her and I don't think you'll be able to handle her", and then she blocked me, so you see, there are negative stereotypes about thin guys, and so I will only tell people who I am close to that I like fat women.* And one more thing, fat women are a lot more discriminatory against thin guys than thin guys are against fat women.*
> 
> Peace.




You base that bolded statement on what? Your few personal experiences you belied about a fat woman rejecting you? 

Rejection is part of life. You like living it right? So accept it in it's entirety.....and move on. 
Stop letting the negative affect you so deeply.....and find what it is that makes you feel good. 
I'm betting that telling others to be ashamed of themselves isn't your "path to enlightenment" nor can it give you the same satisfaction that being good to other people does.


----------



## Paquito

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Reading this particular part of your post....the part where you are so intensely insecure about your body due to your weight.....I could feel for you a tadbit. Not because I'm fat though but because I spent a large portion of my life in love with and married to a thin man. It took me a while to realize that he was as insecure about his size and how people viewed him as I was about my own.
> 
> One major difference between you and him though: He didn't believe that what other people thought of him, or his choice in a partner, should have any bearing on how he lived his life.
> He never hesitated of slowed down when faced with his insecurities....he just kept on stepping to wherever it is he wanted to go.
> 
> I admired that about him. He, in fact, gave me a much better viewpoint of myself and gave me my first orgasm. He would have _never_ had a conversation with me about how what strangers in public think of me and how I should change my behavior for them.
> 
> You're a person that came here and claimed to "admire" fat women....yet your counsel to them would be to "hide" or somehow "change" themselves to please people that they have never met and will most likely never have any true or _significant_ bearing upon our lives.
> You see no error in your perception/thinking? Do you enjoy living your life this way? I assume you must since you expect others to want/behave the same.
> 
> That thin man gave me a great gift and helped to instill a confidence on me that still enters my mind and heart when confronted with those that seek to put me down/have ill intent.
> 
> Why would you want to give any woman that you would love enough to marry anything less?
> 
> 
> 
> Life really _is_ this simple.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> This, too.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Yes. Who did she hurt? I mean reallllyyyyy hurt?
> If she doesn't purse snatch or carjack, why spend so much time on this?
> 
> 
> 
> And this.....exactly. I'm half past give a shit about what others think about me eating a piece of chicken in my car when I'm hungry.
> I clean my own mess. End of discussion.
> 
> 
> 
> I came...........................to Dimensions and read this post
> 
> 
> 
> :bow:
> 
> 
> 
> Exactly. I said it already but I will keep on saying it because it's so easy for me....who cares what idiots and fucktards think?
> But I think I need to clarify that people who stereo-type are idiots and fucktards since that part doesn't seem to be crystal clear to some.....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Funny, I used to be a waitress.....just as my mother before me was. We expect good service when we eat out. I tip.
> 
> Someone gives me shitty service? I don't tip.
> 
> I also might report them to management if they piss me off on top of it all.
> 
> It's still simple for me. I don't let what people think about me determine how much I enjoy my food, my time out or my life.
> 
> Unless I actually know a person, I don't tend to waste my time on such worries.
> 
> Just wanted that to be on record since this was used as an analogy about stereo-types. You really don't have to let it affect you.
> 
> 
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rkgm1yGgbM
> 
> :bow: :happy:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> You base that bolded statement on what? Your few personal experiences you belied about a fat woman rejecting you?
> 
> Rejection is part of life. You like living it right? So accept it in it's entirety.....and move on.
> Stop letting the negative affect you so deeply.....and find what it is that makes you feel good.
> I'm betting that telling others to be ashamed of themselves isn't your "path to enlightenment" nor can it give you the same satisfaction that being good to other people does.




You never quote me anymore.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Paquito said:


> You never quote me anymore.




No, but I still...............rep the hell out of you in private, eh?


----------



## Paquito

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> No, but I still...............rep the hell out of you in private, eh?



It's because my post was surrounded by posts of burgers, isn't it? Damn my timing.

But I will always have cheesecake for you.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

*falls on top of his big..............cheesecake* :smitten: 

It's always delicious.......:happy:


----------



## Paquito

Will you eat it in public with me?


----------



## cinnamitch

Paquito said:


> It's because my post was surrounded by posts of burgers, isn't it? Damn my timing.
> 
> But I will always have cheesecake for you.



Oh, I , yay yay yay will have cheesecake for you oo oo I will have cheese cake for youuuu. ( Whitney Houston has NOTHING on me)


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Paquito said:


> Will you eat it in public with me?



Just not on a train though......wouldn't want to upset anyone......


----------



## cinnamitch

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Just not on a train though......wouldn't want to upset anyone......



That's ok i will be on the same train, wearing a thong and eating pizza and Krispy Kremes. I will draw the attention away from you. Save me a piece of um cheesecake though.( a BIG piece)


----------



## Paquito

cinnamitch said:


> That's ok i will be on the same train, wearing a thong and eating pizza and Krispy Kremes. I will draw the attention away from you. Save me a piece of um cheesecake though.( a BIG piece)



I'll be the one stuffing the cheesecake in your fat maw while singing Whitney Houston's greatest hits.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

cinnamitch said:


> That's ok i will be on the same train, wearing a thong and eating pizza and Krispy Kremes. I will draw the attention away from you. Save me a piece of um cheesecake though.(* a BIG piece*)



Size Queen 





:bow:







O post pix plz kthx


----------



## CarlaSixx

Damned rep button needs to start working again!


----------



## cinnamitch

Paquito said:


> I'll be the one stuffing the cheesecake in your fat maw while singing Whitney Houston's greatest hits.



We will need pictures. Maybe even video. ( how did you know my maw needed stuffing? you devil you)


----------



## CarlaSixx

I will be there with the camera! I'm the one who's gonna be eating a Croissanwich , remember?


----------



## joswitch

LoveBHMS said:


> Is it really necessary to be *edit* to this guy?
> 
> So he got something wrong, so what? All FAs are not perfect and lots of good FAs are made, not born. FAs have paths to self discovery like fat people and pretty much like everyone. It just damned infuriates me when somebody has the audacity to make a mistake, or voice something wrong, or articulate something wrong and it's like open season.
> 
> You have no right telling somebody they have issues and need to see a shrink. It's rude. What's the outcome of this thread? A non-perfect FA got ripped to shreds and probably now is going to be a lot more headshy about the FA/BBW community. Nicely done.



Meh, it was a helpful suggestion, not an insult. 
Kid is screwed up and needs help.
If getting that help means he takes a time out, probably for the best for him and everyone else.


----------



## joswitch

mszwebs said:


> Just an FYI, the OP did the bolding, not...Josey lol.



To be accurate: he did some, and then I did more.


----------



## joswitch

TraciJo67 said:


> Oops I usually call him "Josey" when I'm actively trying to be patronizing. My bad :doh:



No worries...

I probably shouldn't let you in on this, but I quite like the "Josey" thing... (although it misses a trick in my handle)..... here's a clue as to why:
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1314826&postcount=34


----------



## CarlaSixx

joswitch said:


> No worries...
> 
> I probably shouldn't let you in on this, but I quite like the "Josey" thing... (although it misses a trick in my handle)..... here's a clue as to why:
> http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1314826&postcount=34



Ahem... 

Can I say: Hot! 
Awesomesauce right there.


----------



## joswitch

CarlaSixx said:


> Ahem...
> 
> Can I say: Hot!
> Awesomesauce right there.


:blush:T'anks! :blush:


----------



## musicman

LoveBHMS said:


> Is it really necessary to be *edit* to this guy?
> 
> So he got something wrong, so what? All FAs are not perfect and lots of good FAs are made, not born. FAs have paths to self discovery like fat people and pretty much like everyone. It just damned infuriates me when somebody has the audacity to make a mistake, or voice something wrong, or articulate something wrong and it's like open season.
> 
> You have no right telling somebody they have issues and need to see a shrink. It's rude. What's the outcome of this thread? A non-perfect FA got ripped to shreds and probably now is going to be a lot more headshy about the FA/BBW community. Nicely done.




Are you serious? I'm sorry, but I applaud everyone who has torn into the OP. The guy is unbelievable. He posts such obviously wrong-headed bullsh*t, he gets told exactly what's wrong with his thinking, and then he comes back REPEATEDLY to defend what he said. And he tries to distract us with irrelevant accusations like "what have YOU done for fat people?" I guess ignorance and arrogance make a powerful mix.

IMHO, this guy needs to be told, in no uncertain terms, that the way he feels is not acceptable, and that he probably has some serious head issues. I don't know how we can explain it any more politely. Oh, and finally he tells us it's all because he once got dumped by a fat woman. Gee, I wonder why she dumped him? This is the kind of guy who gives all FAs a bad name. If he won't change his ways, I hope he never tries to date a fat woman again. He's certainly no loss to our community!

Are there any BBWs out there who would like to date this guy? What? I didn't think so.


----------



## AtlantisAK

joswitch said:


> No worries...
> 
> I probably shouldn't let you in on this, but I quite like the "Josey" thing... (although it misses a trick in my handle)..... here's a clue as to why:
> http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1314826&postcount=34




Teehee. Nothing cuter than a man in drag. :wubu:


----------



## BigBeautifulMe

LillyBBBW said:


> These two scenarios are not equivalent to one another. Bad tippers are deadbeats. One, two, three of them together - nobody likes them and the habit is a poor one.... but eating?? Seriously. ALL humans must eat. You're talking about the demonization of a basic function for man to survive, not robbing people or taking advantage. How is anyone suffering from a fat woman eating some bread, and please don't hand me any lines about people writhing on the floor suffering for their bigoted views. This is the very thing that people are trying to stare down every day here. The perception of wrong-doing on the part of a fat person who is exercising the same survival instinct that everyone else can demonstrate freely without reprisal is wrong. Not unless s/he were eating something that any person of any size would be criticized for. It was a croissant. If some skinny supermodel were eating that in public people would be handing her a sandwhich. People are out of control with their prejudices and it's not ok.



Someone rep this woman for me, please. I can't again so soon. :bow:


----------



## AtlantisAK

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Someone rep this woman for me, please. I can't again so soon. :bow:



Repping shortly!


----------



## chicken legs

joswitch said:


> Trust me - it's not a British etiquette thing! We do not all live like in the Merchant Ivory films!



Aww bloody hell then, I was just giving this dodgy tosser the benefit of doubt considering how naive his rubbish sounded. Cheers


----------



## wtchmel

i haven't noticed that it's been fat women eating, i haven't seen that many people eating at all on public transpo, but I will say this, fuck them, and i feel like punching those mother fuckers in the throat that are so judgemental anyway!! i'll sit on those bitches. okay, i'm done!! sorry for ranting, i just sometimes can't handle those anti fat people.


----------



## Shosh

Maybe Ivy and Violet could do a croissant eating set on the train.


----------



## LoveBHMS

LillyBBBW said:


> These two scenarios are not equivalent to one another. Bad tippers are deadbeats. One, two, three of them together - nobody likes them and the habit is a poor one.... but eating?? Seriously. ALL humans must eat. You're talking about the demonization of a basic function for man to survive, not robbing people or taking advantage. How is anyone suffering from a fat woman eating some bread, and please don't hand me any lines about people writhing on the floor suffering for their bigoted views. This is the very thing that people are trying to stare down every day here. The perception of wrong-doing on the part of a fat person who is exercising the same survival instinct that everyone else can demonstrate freely without reprisal is wrong. Not unless s/he were eating something that any person of any size would be criticized for. It was a croissant. If some skinny supermodel were eating that in public people would be handing her a sandwhich. People are out of control with their prejudices and it's not ok.



I really feel as if i read this differently from everyone else. To me it was not about eating a croissant, per se, but rather about dealing with prejudices and stereotypes. I'm not comparing tipping with eating, i'm just reflecting on the truth of dealing with stereotyping and prejudices towards a group to which you belong. I don't think the OP was so much focused on eating junk food in public, but on a broader level about how he had dealt with others' stereotyping what attracts him. I saw on a broader level than just 'eating'.

Somebody mentioned on another thread that her friend called a skinny person a bitch and she took her to task for it, saying she did not know the woman and therefore could not criticize her for being a bitch. But if you hold that "all skinny people are bitches" and you truly feel that way, then what happens when you see Meme Roth who is in fact bitchy? It might just make the non-bitches get frustrated because here they are fighting the "skinny bitch" tag and then a skinny person comes along and behaves like a bitch.


----------



## LoveBHMS

LillyBBBW said:


> These two scenarios are not equivalent to one another. Bad tippers are deadbeats. One, two, three of them together - nobody likes them and the habit is a poor one.... but eating?? Seriously. ALL humans must eat. You're talking about the demonization of a basic function for man to survive, not robbing people or taking advantage. How is anyone suffering from a fat woman eating some bread, and please don't hand me any lines about people writhing on the floor suffering for their bigoted views. This is the very thing that people are trying to stare down every day here. The perception of wrong-doing on the part of a fat person who is exercising the same survival instinct that everyone else can demonstrate freely without reprisal is wrong. Not unless s/he were eating something that any person of any size would be criticized for. It was a croissant. If some skinny supermodel were eating that in public people would be handing her a sandwhich. People are out of control with their prejudices and it's not ok.



I really feel as if i read this differently from everyone else. To me it was not about eating a croissant, per se, but rather about dealing with prejudices and stereotypes. I'm not comparing tipping with eating, i'm just reflecting on the truth of dealing with stereotyping and prejudices towards a group to which you belong. I don't think the OP was so much focused on eating junk food in public, but on a broader level about how he had dealt with others' stereotyping what attracts him. I saw on a broader level than just 'eating'.

Somebody mentioned on another thread that her friend called a skinny person a bitch and she took her to task for it, saying she did not know the woman and therefore could not criticize her for being a bitch. But if you hold that "all skinny people are bitches" and you truly feel that way, then what happens when you see Meme Roth who is in fact bitchy? It might just make the non-bitches get frustrated because here they are fighting the "skinny bitch" tag and then a skinny person comes along and behaves like a bitch.


----------



## wolfpersona

Dromond said:


> You've got to wonder what a person like him is doing on a site that promotes fat acceptance.



I agree.
So what she was eating a croissant. Oooh, Scary.


----------



## LillyBBBW

LoveBHMS said:


> I really feel as if i read this differently from everyone else. To me it was not about eating a croissant, per se, but rather about dealing with prejudices and stereotypes. I'm not comparing tipping with eating, i'm just reflecting on the truth of dealing with stereotyping and prejudices towards a group to which you belong. I don't think the OP was so much focused on eating junk food in public, but on a broader level about how he had dealt with others' stereotyping what attracts him. I saw on a broader level than just 'eating'.
> 
> Somebody mentioned on another thread that her friend called a skinny person a bitch and she took her to task for it, saying she did not know the woman and therefore could not criticize her for being a bitch. But if you hold that "all skinny people are bitches" and you truly feel that way, then what happens when you see Meme Roth who is in fact bitchy? It might just make the non-bitches get frustrated because here they are fighting the "skinny bitch" tag and then a skinny person comes along and behaves like a bitch.



In the title he asked if fat women were irresponsible. I'm a gainer, like being fat, have no desire to be anything otherwise. I'm pretty much the face of evil in this dump. He's asking the wrong person. No I don't think I have any responsibility to him or anyone else.

I'm a little surprised at you Loves. Somebody comes in here and knocks feederism and you come out swinging. Now you've got all kinds of tender feelings for this guy who pretty much thinks someone else's behavior effects his ability to exist. We should all be concerned with that? Really?


----------



## LoveBHMS

Because i'm just not seeing this being about eating, or even about existing. I just saw this as an FA who is in fact an open FA and who's had to deal with others questioning his preferences and is frustrated by feeling as if he's fighting stereotypes and then sees somebody behaving in a way that he's constantly telling his friends and relatives is not necessarily true. I think his reaction was mostly emotional, not intellectual.

One FA on here said his mom thinks all fat people are mentally ill, and he said he told her this was not true but she persists in thinking it. That FA may very well be the one who gets angry and frustrated by seeing something like Collared Princess talking about wanting to weigh 1000 pounds. Seeing somebody behave in a way that looks weird might give his mom fuel for the fire---"See i told you they were all mentally ill, look at this woman wanting to weigh a thousand pounds and saying she hates to move. And you say they're not crazy?" Even though obviously CP can't represent all fat people, and all fat people do not hate moving, the FA is still going to be angered by her behavior.

And I think CP has as much right to want to weigh 1000 pounds as some random woman has to eat a croissant. It's not about telling others what to do but merely looking at reactions to it. 

McBeth talks about going for a swim and thinking she may change somebody's mind about fat people being lazy. She was obviously going swimming anyway, she didn't plan it just to represent all SSBBW, but she did say it was something she was cognizant of. I think the OP was just thinking about social prejudices and maybe saddened or frustrated by seeing something that he thought gave truth to it or buoyed up those who had a narrow view of fat people.


----------



## Dromond

But it is not the thread openers responsibility to take the victim to task over the warped views of society. Neither is it Mcbeth's responsibility to change the perceptions of society in general. Society will change if it wants to, and if media presents other options.

THE MEDIA is the one with the responsibility. It is a mirror (sometimes a funhouse mirror, yes) of society. Until the media gets on board (movies, television, radio, advertising, etc), meaningful society wide change isn't going to happen.


----------



## Carrie

Does anyone remember that famous quote about pornography, where it's hard to define but "I know it when I see it"? I thought of that in reference to the OP's posts in this thread, but substitute shame for pornography. I think that fat people tend to be highly tuned in to signs (subtle and not) of shame and embarrassment in others in reaction to us, having felt it so pervasively throughout our lives, hence a lot of the strong reactions to this thread. To me, this guy's posts positively reek of shame, for the woman daring to eat an "unhealthy" food in public and for his own feelings, swathed in righteous concern for fat people P.R., to make his concern acceptable. He actually used the word "gluttonous" in regards to eating a cheeseburger, for god's sake. To me, his words drip with judgment. I think it's lovely to give people the benefit of the doubt in general, but yeah. I am unquestionably feeling the shame vibe here, unfortunately.


----------



## TraciJo67

I think that OP knows exactly what he's doing and saying, and has known from post #1. And yes -- his usage of the term "gluttonous", especially as he's describing this so-called behavior, was a clear tip-off to me.


----------



## Vespertine

Dromond said:


> THE MEDIA is the one with the responsibility. It is a mirror (sometimes a funhouse mirror, yes) of society. Until the media gets on board (movies, television, radio, advertising, etc), meaningful society wide change isn't going to happen.



I really agree here. I grew up in a household of fat people who did not really fit any stereotypes, but I knew exactly what those toxic expectations of fat people were anyway because of media. We all have frustration over the limited way fat people have historically been portrayed, and the stories we are collectively told about fat people are becoming uglier in my view. 

Like mcbeth I feel I do deal with representing fat people when I do things like go for a swim. The countless times people feel the need to approach me and compliment my commitment to lose weight...to me it is unfortunately a patently political move when I go to the gym. There's a similarity between that and eating on the train, they are both actions with a lot of social hubbub around them for fat people. When I go to the gym whether I want to or not I am challenging stereotypes, and I choose to voice my reasons for being there if engaged by someone with the assumption its for weight loss. The only way I feel we can break the entitlement of people to remark on fat people eating or doing anything else, is to behave as if that entitlement doesn't exist and/or assumptions are awkward to make. On the personal level, I think all we can realistically do is embody the 'change we want to see', and afaics no one wants that change to preclude Fat Ladies Eating Croissants On The Train Unfettered. And for me personally, the only way to forge a sane relationship with food is to break the ideas about good food/bad food, punishment/reward, pride/shame--and these have deep roots in our cultural psyche.

Ultimately, I think the point is people do not get to intrude in my life just because I'm fat, whether in their mind it's positive or negative feedback. It is infantilizing and irrelevant to my choices, that's what I try to get across when faced with confrontation on a personal level-I can't worry about all the judgmental thought-forms floating around though of course I'm aware of it. I think meaningful change of perception can only come about through the media which spins and perpetuates the stereotypes we live under. Individual interactions may help but behaviors are always subject to interpretation, however neither of those are responsible for the perceived veracity of the stereotypes.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Since my name is getting thrown around...



LoveBHMS said:


> McBeth talks about going for a swim and thinking she may change somebody's mind about fat people being lazy. She was obviously going swimming anyway, she didn't plan it just to represent all SSBBW, but she did say it was something she was cognizant of. I think the OP was just thinking about social prejudices and maybe saddened or frustrated by seeing something that he thought gave truth to it or buoyed up those who had a narrow view of fat people.



No, I do not do anything solely with the intention to represent fat women (I don't think I could properly be called a SSBBW, so I definitely don't pretend to represent all SSBBW, but not even all BBWs, of course). I swim because I want to swim, climb mountains because I like the challenge, and go walking because I like to be active. At the same time I'm aware of the fact that some people are surprised by some of those things I do, just in my regular life. Do I sometimes hope people will expand their views of what fat people can do? Yeah, I do, because certain stereotypes negatively impact my life (not my emotional life, I more mean my opportunities in the world and how people pre-judge me). But I am not a crusader living every moment of my life to change people's viewpoints. I do not have an exaggerated sense of the power of my individual actions - both "good" ones and "bad" ones. But I also don't pretend that my individual actions have NO effect.



Dromond said:


> But it is not the thread openers responsibility to take the victim to task over the warped views of society. Neither is it Mcbeth's responsibility to change the perceptions of society in general. Society will change if it wants to, and if media presents other options.



I agree that it's not my responsibility that I need to carry around on my shoulders. But whose is it? Who influences the media? I mean, the media is made up of PEOPLE, it's not like an impersonal entity. And since we all would benefit from more balanced and realistic perspectives of fat people to be thrown out there, why wouldn't we want to influence that? Not like 24/7, and not that we can't live our lives as we choose...but why not think about ways we can help bring about positive changes in society?


----------



## LoveBHMS

Carrie said:


> Does anyone remember that famous quote about pornography, where it's hard to define but "I know it when I see it"? I thought of that in reference to the OP's posts in this thread, but substitute shame for pornography. I think that fat people tend to be highly tuned in to signs (subtle and not) of shame and embarrassment in others in reaction to us, having felt it so pervasively throughout our lives, hence a lot of the strong reactions to this thread. To me, this guy's posts positively reek of shame, for the woman daring to eat an "unhealthy" food in public and for his own feelings, swathed in righteous concern for fat people P.R., to make his concern acceptable. He actually used the word "gluttonous" in regards to eating a cheeseburger, for god's sake. To me, his words drip with judgment. I think it's lovely to give people the benefit of the doubt in general, but yeah. I am unquestionably feeling the shame vibe here, unfortunately.



But what if he'd seem the exact same activity, fat woman eating croissant, and reacted positively? What if he said "I think it's so great when fat people eat in public and don't worry about being judged" or "It was great to see a fat person unabashedly eating something less-than healthful. I hate it when women feel they have to eat salads and dry toast in public and deny themselves." I can't help but wonder if the reaction would have been different, or if anyone would have gotten angry and said that one person does not represent all fat people.

FWIW, he used the term gluttonous when people were talking about going out and gratuitously eating large amounts of fast food in public just to prove a point. He didn't mean it with regards to simply eating a cheeseburger.

And for all the talk about fat peoples' path towards acceptance, let's not forget that FAs consume the same mass media messages and social disapproval that fat people do. No it's not harder to be an FA than be fat. But if fat people are told they're lazy or sick or only eat junk food than FAs are being told the people they're attracted to are lazy or sick or only consume junk food. If anyone who spent time or energy hating themselves or being self conscious, then remember FAs might have felt the same way. There's always talk on here about "FA Guilt" and whether or not anyone sees that as legitimate it does exist.


----------



## Carrie

LoveBHMS said:


> But what if he'd seem the exact same activity, fat woman eating croissant, and reacted positively? What if he said "I think it's so great when fat people eat in public and don't worry about being judged" or "It was great to see a fat person unabashedly eating something less-than healthful. I hate it when women feel they have to eat salads and dry toast in public and deny themselves." I can't help but wonder if the reaction would have been different, or if anyone would have gotten angry and said that one person does not represent all fat people.


But that's not what he said. He described the situation and his emotional reaction to it with words like "cringe". He talked about telling his hypothetical spouse what is and isn't okay for her to eat in public. I'm not going to argue with you about hypotheticals; I am telling you how his overall tone and his choice of words read _to me_, as a fat person who has experienced a lot of people judging what I do and eat and how I behave, based on my size. It read as a shame-based response, not as a genuine concern for the welfare of fat people. That's what many of us are responding to. 

I think you're reading a great deal into his posts that, in my opinion, simply wasn't there. I could be mistaken, but that's my take on it.


----------



## Saoirse

I think the OP *did* react "positively" when he saw the fat woman eating... it was in his pants. He's made that perfectly clear.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

joswitch said:


> No worries...
> 
> I probably shouldn't let you in on this, but I quite like the "Josey" thing... (although it misses a trick in my handle)..... here's a clue as to why:
> http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1314826&postcount=34



I &#9829; hot guys who look hot in drag! Go Josey!


----------



## joswitch

mcbeth said:


> *snip*
> 
> 
> I agree that it's not my responsibility that I need to carry around on my shoulders. But whose is it? *Who influences the media? I mean, the media is made up of PEOPLE, it's not like an impersonal entity.* And since we all would benefit from more balanced and realistic perspectives of fat people to be thrown out there, why wouldn't we want to influence that? Not like 24/7, and not that we can't live our lives as we choose...but why not think about ways we can help bring about positive changes in society?



^The only part of your post I want to challenge here is the bolded bit.
The media is in the vast part corporate run.
Corporations are by definition impersonal entities.
Was is Ben Franklin? who said they "have neither souls to damn, nor bodies to kick"...
*Corporate agendas follow the money.*
The fat hate / shame industry is worth billions (between $55 - $60billion a year in the USA alone).
While that^ money trough exists even if individual people working for the corporate media may have other opinions, the massively overriding media message pumped out by those people* will be fat hate / shame.

I think if you want to change the media message pumped out, on whatever issue, then wherever you get chance - *change the money flow*. 
So for example: you might choose to spend your money not on the products /services of the fat hate / shame industry, but on products / services that directly, immediately enhance your life as a (fat) person.

I think to an extent we're starting to see this, already, with the increasing exposure of plus size models in the media, in consequence to fat women voting with their money for good clothes that they actually want and enjoy wearing, modelled by women roughly their size.
*The "fat demographic" has - collectively - vast spending power at it's command.*
Imagine if that $55 - $60billion a year was not going to the shame/hate industry but instead on great fitting clothes, enjoyable activit(ies) of all kinds, and other products and services that directly, immediately enhance your life as a (fat) person....
I think you'd see the media zombies message turn to follow the money pretty damn quick!


(*I actually think of corporate entities and other powerful memes (fiat currencies, nations etc.) as working in a very similar way to the mythic voodoo loa / ghosts / demons. These things do not have a real existence, other than to the extent that they "run" the people they "posess".)


----------



## joswitch

AtlantisAK said:


> Teehee. Nothing cuter than a man in drag. :wubu:






OneWickedAngel said:


> I &#9829; hot guys who look hot in drag! Go Josey!



:blush:Ta! Glad you like!


----------



## LovelyLiz

Good point, fair enough.

Still, we are people. People run the media. You're still advising people to do specific things... I was responding to the comment that it's not "my responsibility" to change fat perception. And even though you're laying out a different way of challenging it (based on an awareness of the influence of money in the media), you're still saying we do have some ability to do so. That still goes along with my point.


----------



## joswitch

Saoirse said:


> I think the OP *did* react "positively" when he saw the fat woman eating... it was in his pants. He's made that perfectly clear.


----------



## joswitch

mcbeth said:


> Good point, fair enough.
> 
> Still, we are people. People run the media. You're still advising people to do specific things... I was responding to the comment that it's not "my responsibility" to change fat perception. And even though you're laying out a different way of challenging it (based on an awareness of the influence of money in the media),* you're still saying we do have some ability to do so. That still goes along with my point.*



^Yes, that's true.
It does involve pretty much the exact opposite motives /action recommended by the OP, tho'... 
Rejection of shame.
Embracing your own value / the value of your desires as a (fat) *person - right NOW* - and spending on things that bring you joy in and of themselves, rather than on things that appease whatever other people (diet pill pushers, fat haterz, FAs, whothefuckever) want.

I know I'm preaching to the choir here.
The only idea I'm adding to the mix is:
the media will follow the money like a bull with a ring through it's nose.
Money is power, baby!


----------



## t3h_n00b

I guess the same goes for black people who eat fried chicken and watermelons in public. They should buy that stuff of a dealer in an alley like people buy drugs. Great plan bro.

Tune in next week when (intellectually)thinguyforbbw says it's irresponsible for fat women to buy a lot of groceries at one time.


----------



## msbard90

Saoirse said:


> and how do you know for certain that your friend eats that way to look skinny? Is it entirely possible that its just how she eats pizza and doesn't really have anything to do with her weight? Im not asking to sound snarky, just genuinely curious.
> 
> Saying that fatties should just stuff their faces is just as bad as saying fatties should nibble on carrots.
> 
> I dunno. This whole thread sits wrong with me.



Ya know what? I might know a thing or two about my friends that you don't.

Just saying.

And if this whole thread sits wrong with you then do yourself a favor and stop coming back for more, thanks.


----------



## imfree

I want to meet a big ol' gal (I'm 55, so a big ol' Gal 
is age-compatible) so we can engage in some 
serious cuddling and mutual feeding on, you 
guessed it, on a mode of public, no, wait a minute, 
on *all* modes of public transportation!


----------



## Saoirse

msbard90 said:


> Ya know what? I might know a thing or two about my friends that you don't.
> 
> Just saying.
> 
> And if this whole thread sits wrong with you then do yourself a favor and stop coming back for more, thanks.



Hey, chill the eff out. Im just trying to ask some questions. No need to be nasty.


----------



## CaitiDee

t3h_n00b said:


> I guess the same goes for black people who eat fried chicken and watermelons in public. They should buy that stuff of a dealer in an alley like people buy drugs. Great plan bro.
> 
> Tune in next week when (intellectually)thinguyforbbw says it's irresponsible for fat women to buy a lot of groceries at one time.



Quoted for truthiness.


----------



## stldpn

There's this movement going around that says that slow foods are better for us. That anything we eat standing up is bad for us. Knee jerk response? yes absolutely. Digestion is best done over the course of hours not minutes. The thing is it'd be nice to live a slow unharried lifestyle. But who does? 

So the fat woman on transit? unless you're willing to make her lasagna, don't bother her.


----------



## Blackjack

stldpn said:


> There's this movement going around that says that slow foods are better for us. That anything we eat standing up is bad for us. Knee jerk response? yes absolutely. Digestion is best done over the course of hours not minutes. The thing is it'd be nice to live a slow unharried lifestyle. But who does?
> 
> So the fat woman on transit? unless you're willing to make her lasagna, don't bother her.



Astoundingly, I totally agree with this.


----------



## NYCGabriel

easy now.. no need to get angry.



msbard90 said:


> Ya know what? I might know a thing or two about my friends that you don't.
> 
> Just saying.
> 
> And if this whole thread sits wrong with you then do yourself a favor and stop coming back for more, thanks.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

stldpn said:


> There's this movement going around that says that slow foods are better for us. That anything we eat standing up is bad for us. Knee jerk response? yes absolutely. Digestion is best done over the course of hours not minutes. The thing is it'd be nice to live a slow unharried lifestyle. But who does?
> 
> So the fat woman on transit? unless you're willing to make her lasagna, don't bother her.



Yes, but......where should he allow that woman to eat the lasagna?


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Yes, but......where should he allow that woman to eat the lasagna?



Only on a double decker bus, with a table, so she can dine alfresco.

No croissants can be served since doing so might be construed to some as irresponsible!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Only on a double decker bus, with a table, so she can dine alfresco.
> 
> No croissants can be served since doing so might be construed to some as irresponsible!




I think serving a salad along side that lasagna would be the most responsible thing to do. 

But only a small one.....

Oh dear....special permission is probably required for dressing :doh:


----------



## stldpn

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Yes, but......where should he allow that woman to eat the lasagna?



Lasagna tastes best to me when I'm sitting on my couch eating it out of the stouffers plastic tray. :doh:


----------



## mossystate

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Oh dear....special permission is probably required for dressing :doh:



That you even ask about dressing shows me you are an extremely out of control fat woman. You eat your playing card sized helping of lasagne, and you might...MIGHT...get a bit of lemon and water for your salad.

I see the question of dessert in your eyes. :doh: Hopeless!!!


----------



## tonynyc

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I think serving a salad along side that lasagna would be the most responsible thing to do.
> 
> But only a small one.....
> 
> Oh dear....special permission is probably required for dressing :doh:



But what about the wine and the bread.... and of course


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I think serving a salad along side that lasagna would be the most responsible thing to do.
> 
> But only a small one.....
> 
> Oh dear....special permission is probably required for dressing :doh:



You may have dressing if it's only water. Don't get pushy and ask for lemons or vinegar!



tonynyc said:


> But what about the wine and the bread.... and of course



IRRESPONSIBLE!


----------



## jenboo

thinguyforbbw said:


> as i am sure you all know, i am not sizeist, and i like fat women.
> 
> i have often argued with friends who say that fat people are fat because they are lazy and just stuff their faces. but one thing i notice quite a lot is that on the trains you get fat women who are eating something, and that really frustrates me, because it just makes peoples prejudice stronger that fat people are fat because of their own irresponsibility. has anyone else felt the same way?



there are also a lot of non fat folks eating in public, but they are not as salient


----------



## Dromond

stldpn said:


> Lasagna tastes best to me when I'm sitting on my couch eating it out of the stouffers plastic tray. :doh:



*STOUFFERS???*

The Italian in me is screaming in pain. Screaming, I say.


----------



## chicken legs

This thread is..


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

This looks portable to me.....she should have just pulled out the whole pan and had a few bites when no one was looking......


----------



## Lamia

tonynyc said:


> But what about the wine and the bread.... and of course



I have question..what the hell is that picture of? Are they pastries?


----------



## Miss Vickie

They're cannoli, a delicious Italian (Sicilian, maybe?) pastry, kind of a crunch outside and a yummy creamy center. In short? Deliciousness in a handy carrying case.


----------



## CastingPearls

Miss Vickie said:


> They're cannoli, a delicious Italian (Sicilian, maybe?) pastry, kind of a crunch outside and a yummy creamy center. In short? Deliciousness in a handy carrying case.


Yes, ma'am they are. As a card-carrying person of Italian heritage, I can fully attest that those there amazing pastries are called cannoli. To Italian-Americans, slang is is 'ganool' and sometimes they're dotted with slivered pistachios or candied fruit. 
I've been eating them since before I could walk and I'd bite your arm off if you even looked at me crooked while I was eating one. On the train. In a car. In a box. Or with a fox.


----------



## Lamia

I've heard of them, but never tried them or seen them before. They look yummy like something I'd really enjoy while riding on a train or bus.


----------



## NYCGabriel

CastingPearls said:


> On the train. In a car. In a box. Or with a fox.



who's wearing a pair of socks!

and yes cannolis ROCK. They're right up there alongside other NYC foods like knishes and street tacos


----------



## CastingPearls

NYCGabriel said:


> who's wearing a pair of socks!
> 
> and yes cannolis ROCK. They're right up there alongside other NYC foods like knishes and street tacos


And hot chewy salty giant salty pretzels (with or without mustard or cheesy goodness) 
Damn, Gabriel, you forgot the dang pretzels! What kinda New Yorker ARE YOU????


----------



## imfree

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> This looks portable to me.....she should have just pulled out the whole pan and had a few bites when no one was looking......



"Aah, Lasagna, nature's perfect food!"-Garfield The Cat

Aah, Greenie, that pan is portable because the pan and
it's contents are suitable for use while on ANY mode of
public transportation.


----------



## NYCGabriel

OMG.. that is the BEST looking lasagna I've EVER SEEN!!! And i'm not a huge fan of some pasta dishes. But.. WOW!!!


----------



## NYCGabriel

CastingPearls said:


> And hot chewy salty giant salty pretzels (with or without mustard or cheesy goodness)
> Damn, Gabriel, you forgot the dang pretzels! What kinda New Yorker ARE YOU????



Oh god! thats right! the pretzels with the special "rock" salt! LOL


----------



## stldpn

Dromond said:


> *STOUFFERS???*
> 
> The Italian in me is screaming in pain. Screaming, I say.



what? I'm single. I live alone. Do you know what it's like to make an entire pan of lasagna and know that you have to eat the whole thing yourself? 

That being said? It was mostly sarcasm. I rarely eat lasagna anymore.


----------



## imfree

stldpn said:


> what? I'm single. I live alone. Do you know what it's like to make an entire pan of lasagna and know that you have to eat the whole thing yourself?
> 
> That being said? It was mostly sarcasm. I rarely eat lasagna anymore.



Hahaha, too bad we ain't roomies, Guy,
we could support each-other in our
addictions.


----------



## joswitch

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> This looks portable to me.....she should have just pulled out the whole pan and had a few bites when no one was looking......



*drools*

I really miss good homemade lasagna... My mum used to make great lasagna... And my ex gf of ten years back did awesome lasagna... In fact I think that was the last time I had it... this has much to do with my not having a proper kitchen / oven...


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Everyone likes my lasagna. Irony of that is that one of my ex's old friends taught me how to make it many moons ago


----------



## tonynyc

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Everyone likes my lasagna. Irony of that is that one of my ex's old friends taught me how to make it many moons ago



Greenie - do you have divine powers cause that one tray of Lasanga is going to have to feed all us Dimmers - and there's only one plate of cannolis and a bottle of wine


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

tonynyc said:


> Greenie - do you have divine powers cause that one tray of Lasanga is going to have to feed all us Dimmers - and there's only one plate of cannolis and a bottle of wine




I'll make sure you get first crack at it Tony so no worries


----------



## tonynyc

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I'll make sure you get first crack at it Tony so no worries



Heck I'd bring the baseball bat and the brass knucks


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

tonynyc said:


> Heck I'd bring the baseball bat and the brass knucks



With you around, I just might be able to eat on the subway.....


----------



## tonynyc

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> With you around, I just might be able to eat on the subway.....



You have to fight off some of the nasty commuters :happy:

And of course this would be the perfect tee shirt to wear while enjoying these goodies


----------



## jenboo

thinguyforbbw said:


> well, i just think it is irresponsible. true, they're not doing anything wrong, but, it is still irresponsible - i mean, if they were eating a banana or apple, it would be different, but a fat lady next to me today got out a big croissant and started eating it and i felt like cringing because she was the fattest person in our compartment and was the only person eating. i sat there thinking that she is giving fat people a bad name, she should have been more responsible and waited till she left the train, i mean, in an ideal world she can eat what she likes where she likes, but in reality, we all have responsibilities, and if there is a negative stereotype against you, you should work to make sure that people change their perception, and her eating on the train just gave a really bad rep for fat people.



yum.. I love pastries...not only do they taste good, but they make a mess all over and i have to dig out crumbs from my bra!! The skinny folks love it when they get sprayed with my pastry crumbs as i try to remove them from the nice tummy that seems to act as a crumb catching shelf...


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

CastingPearls said:


> Yes, ma'am they are. As a card-carrying person of Italian heritage, I can fully attest that those there amazing pastries are called cannoli. To Italian-Americans, slang is is 'ganool' and sometimes they're dotted with slivered pistachios or candied fruit.
> I've been eating them since before I could walk and I'd bite your arm off if you even looked at me crooked while I was eating one.* On the train. In a car. In a box. Or with a fox.*



You madam, are highly irresponsible!


----------



## jenboo

thinguyforbbw said:


> ok, I am only going to make one post on this thread, because I like this community and I do not want people to be upset or anything.
> 
> I must say, I find the attitude of people on this thread quite disturbing. I thought this was a community all about acceptance, fat acceptance, race acceptance, religion acceptance, differing points of views acceptance, but I guess I was wrong.
> 
> Did anyone even bother reading what I wrote? Or did they selectively just read the bits they wanted to read? If you actually bothered reading what I wrote, it would have been clear that the reason I find it disturbing when I see a fat person eating on public transportation is because it just reinforces the stereotype that fat people (especially women) are lazy and just stuff their faces 24/7. And I hate negative stereotypes. You can all sit in front of your computers and call others name and accuse them of hating fat people, but you know nothing about me. At 5 ft 7 and being extremely thin, I have been called anorexic, made fun of by people in the street, endured sarcastic comments like "Arnie" or "big guy" etc, so I am the last person who would go around discriminating someone because of their size. But at the same time, I am a realist, and the reality is, people do have negative stereotypes about others. In a utopia you would tell everyone that their stereotype is wrong, and the whole world would live happily ever after, in reality, things are different, and we all have a responsibility. I mean, when it is hot, do I walk around bare chested? *How many of you so-called anti-sizeists can honestly say that if you saw a 32 year old guy with a pathetic skinny body like that of a teenage kid walking around bare-chested who everyone was staring at, you would not feel a bit embarrassed for him?*
> 
> I have seen very skinny men without a top on and have also seen very fat men, also without tops on and I am not embarrassed for either of them, unless they smell really bad. Now, people who jog, now those folks I feel embarrassed for...


----------



## tonynyc

jenboo said:


> thinguyforbbw said:
> 
> 
> 
> ok, I am only going to make one post on this thread, because I like this community and I do not want people to be upset or anything.
> 
> I must say, I find the attitude of people on this thread quite disturbing. I thought this was a community all about acceptance, fat acceptance, race acceptance, religion acceptance, differing points of views acceptance, but I guess I was wrong.
> 
> Did anyone even bother reading what I wrote? Or did they selectively just read the bits they wanted to read? If you actually bothered reading what I wrote, it would have been clear that the reason I find it disturbing when I see a fat person eating on public transportation is because it just reinforces the stereotype that fat people (especially women) are lazy and just stuff their faces 24/7. And I hate negative stereotypes. You can all sit in front of your computers and call others name and accuse them of hating fat people, but you know nothing about me. At 5 ft 7 and being extremely thin, I have been called anorexic, made fun of by people in the street, endured sarcastic comments like "Arnie" or "big guy" etc, so I am the last person who would go around discriminating someone because of their size. But at the same time, I am a realist, and the reality is, people do have negative stereotypes about others. In a utopia you would tell everyone that their stereotype is wrong, and the whole world would live happily ever after, in reality, things are different, and we all have a responsibility. I mean, when it is hot, do I walk around bare chested? *How many of you so-called anti-sizeists can honestly say that if you saw a 32 year old guy with a pathetic skinny body like that of a teenage kid walking around bare-chested who everyone was staring at, you would not feel a bit embarrassed for him?*
> 
> I have seen very skinny men without a top on and have also seen very fat men, also without tops on and I am not embarrassed for either of them, unless they smell really bad. *Now, people who jog, now those folks I feel embarrassed for*...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Only exception... other than a medical emergency --- a food run!!!! :happy:
Click to expand...


----------



## Dromond

CastingPearls said:


> Yes, ma'am they are. As a card-carrying person of Italian heritage, I can fully attest that those there amazing pastries are called cannoli. To Italian-Americans, slang is is 'ganool' and sometimes they're dotted with slivered pistachios or candied fruit.
> I've been eating them since before I could walk and I'd bite your arm off if you even looked at me crooked while I was eating one. On the train. In a car. In a box. Or with a fox.



Cannoli's were a part of every family gathering when I was growing up. One of my aunts loved to make cannoli filling with chocolate chips. Before you cry "HERESY," let me tell you it works. :eat2:


----------



## Dromond

stldpn said:


> what? I'm single. I live alone. Do you know what it's like to make an entire pan of lasagna and know that you have to eat the whole thing yourself?
> 
> That being said? It was mostly sarcasm. I rarely eat lasagna anymore.



When you are single and live alone and have a desire for lasagna, it behooves you to have good friends and/or relatives who are able to make it. :happy:


----------



## T_Devil

I'm just gonna answer the question:
_*Are fat women who eat on public transport irresponsible? *_
No. They're hungry.

Ideally, Nobody should eat on those things anyway.

That's all I got to say about that.


----------



## Sweet Tooth

Dromond said:


> Cannoli's were a part of every family gathering when I was growing up. One of my aunts loved to make cannoli filling with chocolate chips. Before you cry "HERESY," let me tell you it works. :eat2:



Indeed. :bounce: Local bakery puts mini chips in their cannoli and cassata filling. Yum! I'll eat those in public any day of the week... and double on weekends.


----------



## tonynyc

Also .. if any of you are lucky enough to ride the NYC Subways and Eric Badlands Booker as your conductor.. then it will be a true Gravy Train :happy: 

------------------








*Eric “Badlands” Booker *
*Copiague, NY*
*6'5", 401 lbs, 36 Years*

*22½ Hot Dogs (Civil Service, NYC Qualifier)*
· Entenmann’s Pumpkin Pie Eating Champion, 5 pumpkins pies in 12 minutes
· World Matzo Ball Eating Champion, 21 matzo balls 5 minutes, 25 seconds
· Doughnut Eating Champion, 49 glazed doughnuts in 8 minutes
·* Cannoli, cheesecake, corned beef hash and pea eating champion*
· New York City transit conductor for 12 years
· Rapper with debut album “Hungry & Focused,” working on second album


----------



## stldpn

Dromond said:


> When you are single and live alone and have a desire for lasagna, it behooves you to have good friends and/or relatives who are able to make it. :happy:



I have a mother and two sisters within walking distance. I cook more for them than they do for me. Generally their idea of homemade is when they sprinkle grated cheddar on top of the kraft stovetop. 

I'm rather amazed that I had taste buds left by 18.


----------



## Dromond

stldpn said:


> I have a mother and two sisters within walking distance. I cook more for them than they do for me. Generally their idea of homemade is when they sprinkle grated cheddar on top of the kraft stovetop.
> 
> I'm rather amazed that I had taste buds left by 18.



The horror! 

I'm no chef by any stretch, but even I can do better than that...


----------



## stldpn

Dromond said:


> The horror!
> 
> I'm no chef by any stretch, but even I can do better than that...



See that's the thing. I can cook. I even make good lasagna. But I refuse to share food that requires attention and time to cook with people who think that they're going to feed me with a meal they cooked in a microwave as thanks.


----------



## msbard90

As an Italian American, I KNOW what good lasagna tastes like. But I'm gonna have to defend stldpn on this one.... stouffers lasagna is one of the more decent tv dinners out there. One of the worst lasagnas but one of the best tv dinners


----------



## mossystate

Dromond said:


> When you are single and live alone and have a desire for lasagna, it behooves you to have good friends and/or relatives who are able to make it. :happy:



So, if I get married I get lasagne? Wow...who knew. * yup, it is 2010...just checked * 


I am chuckling over the gasping over Stouffers lasagne. I mean, I have seen Mexican people eat at Taco Bell, yet I bet they know it is not authentic. It's true.


----------



## imfree

Hahaha, my Ex taught me how to make lasagna and
good home-made spaghetti sauce, but the "big D"
happened anyway.:doh:


----------



## Dromond

mossystate said:


> So, if I get married I get lasagne? Wow...who knew. * yup, it is 2010...just checked *
> 
> 
> I am chuckling over the gasping over Stouffers lasagne. I mean, I have seen Mexican people eat at Taco Bell, yet I bet they know it is not authentic. It's true.



I just can't deal with tv dinner lasagna.

*checks again*

Nope. Sorry. Can't do it. Any TV dinner lasagna tastes like puke. Actually, that's pretty much true of any TV dinner.


----------



## cinnamitch

Dromond said:


> I just can't deal with tv dinner lasagna.
> 
> *checks again*
> 
> Nope. Sorry. Can't do it. Any TV dinner lasagna tastes like puke. Actually, that's pretty much true of any TV dinner.



Ick on lasagna.. period.


----------



## KHayes666

No Italian can eat canned food passed off as Italian. Besides, what part of Italy did Beefaroni come from anyway? lol


----------



## Blackjack

cinnamitch said:


> Ick on lasagna.. period.



Fuckin' heathen.


----------



## cinnamitch

Blackjack said:


> Fuckin' heathen.



Yeah yeah i know. But ugh it's just not my thing


----------



## msbard90

KHayes666 said:


> No Italian can eat canned food passed off as Italian. Besides, what part of Italy did Beefaroni come from anyway? lol



Hey don't mess. When a can of dinner can physically follow you home from the supermarket and roll onto your plate, you know its good!


----------



## imfree

"Hello? Just wondering what is Fedderism and is it illegal.
Sound's like it should be." Yep, this thread should be 
combined with that other one.


----------



## disconnectedsmile

imfree said:


> "Hello? Just wondering what is Fedderism and is it illegal.
> Sound's like it should be." Yep, this thread should be
> combined with that other one.



whut an intrestin sugggist... suhgjest... ...idea!


----------



## Blackjack

imfree said:


> "Hello? Just wondering what is Fedderism and is it illegal.
> Sound's like it should be." Yep, this thread should be
> combined with that other one.





disconnectedsmile said:


> whut an intrestin sugggist... suhgjest... ...idea!



Please don't kill this thread with that aborted fetus of a joke. This is probably one of the most entertaining threads on Dims in a while for me.


----------



## imfree

This certainly is an entertaining thread. As you were, Guys,
I wasn't serious, anyway. I'm getting the feeling that this
thread is soon to meet it's demise, even without my
abortion. IMHO


----------



## Wild Zero

fat women who eat on public transport should go to Mexico.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe

Authenic Mexican food? I'm down


----------



## KHayes666

Wild Zero said:


> fat women who eat on public transport should go to Mexico.



Maybe the spirit of Jim Varney will go with them and we'd have ourselves something we can all watch


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

stldpn said:


> I have a mother and two sisters within walking distance. I cook more for them than they do for me. Generally their idea of homemade is when they sprinkle grated cheddar on top of the kraft stovetop.
> 
> I'm rather amazed that I had taste buds left by 18.



Lol, you sound _angry_ about food when you grew up. Not mocking you....just find it to be an interesting observation with my own food issues. 

I decided just last year to not be mad at my Mom over food anymore. I can think of certain food and get mad at my family. 
Why do we do this? Food is much better when you let go of the angst over it. 

Besides, isn't shaming your family with your fantastic cooking skills much better than always getting mad over something like nutrition?


----------



## joswitch

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Authenic Mexican food? I'm down



The tacos pescados in La Paz, BCS are very good!


----------



## stldpn

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Lol, you sound _angry_ about food when you grew up. Not mocking you....just find it to be an interesting observation with my own food issues.
> 
> I decided just last year to not be mad at my Mom over food anymore. I can think of certain food and get mad at my family.
> Why do we do this? Food is much better when you let go of the angst over it.
> 
> Besides, isn't shaming your family with your fantastic cooking skills much better than always getting mad over something like nutrition?



See the thing is. I get mad at my family because it's not that they don't know how. I got all of my rudimentary training from my older sister and her mother and grandma as soon as I was big enough to peel potatoes. They all have a basic knowledge of how to cook. They just don't.

I honestly don't get mad about food unless it's a holiday. Sounds weird? But for over ten years I've gone through the same ritual. My older sister always wants to host a holiday Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Easter, with dry potatoes. Every year it's the same conversation, "Can I do anything, come over early and help you with anything?"The answer is always no. I always ask "Do you need me to bring gravy?" Again the answer is always no. And every year, if I don't show up with gravy or the ingredients for gravy she serves the plainest damn mashed potatoes ever.

What really kills me is that after this many years of polite and not so polite discussion on the subject she knows how important that gravy is to me. I eat potatoes and gravy maybe three times a year if I'm lucky. The few times I've shown up with flour, simple stock and spices she takes over and she can honestly make the best damn gravy I've ever eaten. 

I suppose my issue is rooted in the insistence that the fast, lazy way is her best effort. Because I always know it's not.

The truth of the matter is I watched/helped nana kelly cook enough sow's head over the years that it was impossible not to learn. That's how I know that they can't possibly be as clueless as they pretend to be.


----------



## tonynyc

stldpn said:


> See the thing is. I get mad at my family because it's not that they don't know how. I got all of my rudimentary training from my older sister and her mother and grandma as soon as I was big enough to peel potatoes. They all have a basic knowledge of how to cook. They just don't.
> 
> I honestly don't get mad about food unless it's a holiday. Sounds weird? But for over ten years I've gone through the same ritual. My older sister always wants to host a holiday Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Easter, with dry potatoes. Every year it's the same conversation, "Can I do anything, come over early and help you with anything?"The answer is always no. I always ask "Do you need me to bring gravy?" Again the answer is always no. And every year, if I don't show up with gravy or the ingredients for gravy she serves the plainest damn mashed potatoes ever.
> 
> What really kills me is that after this many years of polite and not so polite discussion on the subject she knows how important that gravy is to me. I eat potatoes and gravy maybe three times a year if I'm lucky. The few times I've shown up with flour, simple stock and spices she takes over and she can honestly make the best damn gravy I've ever eaten.
> 
> I suppose my issue is rooted in the insistence that the fast, lazy way is her best effort. Because I always know it's not.
> 
> The truth of the matter is I watched/helped nana kelly cook enough sow's head over the years that it was impossible not to learn. That's how I know that they can't possibly be as clueless as they pretend to be.



Quick foodie question... Mashed Potatoes real or  instant


----------



## stldpn

tonynyc said:


> Quick foodie question... Mashed Potatoes real or  instant



When I do it? Always real. But when she does it... could go either way. Hers actually taste better when she does a instant mix because when I say she makes her taters PLAIN I mean plain. No butter no milk no salt no pepper added. Just boiled and mashed and thrown on the table.


----------



## Dr. Feelgood

stldpn said:


> When I do it? Always real. But when she does it... could go either way. Hers actually taste better when she does a instant mix because when I say she makes her taters PLAIN I mean plain. No butter no milk no salt no pepper added. Just boiled and mashed and thrown on the table.



Are you near an oriental food store? A little wasabi powder could add great interest to your family's holiday dining experience.


----------



## Wagimawr

Dr. Feelgood said:


> Are you near an oriental food store? A little wasabi powder could add great interest to your family's holiday dining experience.


That, or Tony's Creole Seasoning

All added surreptitiously, of course.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

stldpn said:


> See the thing is. I get mad at my family because it's not that they don't know how. I got all of my rudimentary training from my older sister and her mother and grandma as soon as I was big enough to peel potatoes. They all have a basic knowledge of how to cook. They just don't.
> 
> I honestly don't get mad about food unless it's a holiday. Sounds weird? But for over ten years I've gone through the same ritual. My older sister always wants to host a holiday Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Easter, with dry potatoes. Every year it's the same conversation, "Can I do anything, come over early and help you with anything?"The answer is always no. I always ask "Do you need me to bring gravy?" Again the answer is always no. And every year, if I don't show up with gravy or the ingredients for gravy she serves the plainest damn mashed potatoes ever.
> 
> What really kills me is that after this many years of polite and not so polite discussion on the subject she knows how important that gravy is to me. I eat potatoes and gravy maybe three times a year if I'm lucky. The few times I've shown up with flour, simple stock and spices she takes over and she can honestly make the best damn gravy I've ever eaten.
> 
> I suppose my issue is rooted in the insistence that the fast, lazy way is her best effort. Because I always know it's not.
> 
> The truth of the matter is I watched/helped nana kelly cook enough sow's head over the years that it was impossible not to learn. That's how I know that they can't possibly be as clueless as they pretend to be.



Perhaps not clueless but maybe just busy? or busier now? 


And just bring your own gravy and whatever else gives you comfort/satisfaction without the fuss.....don't ask anymore. Bring a lot and politely offer to share with everyone. You know...it's your contribution to the meal


----------



## Jes

Oh, lord, I can't find the OP's original comment but this is to what I'm referring:


How many of you so-called anti-sizeists can honestly say that if you saw a 32 year old guy with a pathetic skinny body like that of a teenage kid walking around bare-chested who everyone was staring at, you would not feel a bit embarrassed for him?

--
I can honestly say that I would not feel embarrassed for a skinny 32 year old guy who was walking around bare chested. Honestly. I've seen it before, and I don't recall caring, and I'm sure I've seen it far more than I can even remember seeing b/c it didn't register. It didn't matter. It didn't look, odd, bad or embarrassing. Rude comments exist in the world but it's also true that most people are focused on themselves (like you are in the scenario above!) and don't register as much around them as others fear.

OP, I hope you're still reading even though this has turned into the Foodee board, becuase I want you to try to believe, even while you don't understand, that there are people who wouldn't react the way you're sure everyone reacts. And the way YOU react.

I think the above is the real issue here, for you, in this thread. It's why you posted your original comment and asked for opinions. I don't believe you wanted the opinions though, unless those opinions agreed with yours (and there, you're guilty of something many people are). 

I think a lot of people read into your question (and rightly so) your own issues with women, fat women, size, your size, behavior in public, and the CERTAINTY that people are looking at you (or her) all the time and judgingJudgingJUDGING, that they're embarrassed for her (or you). 

I think things would've gone differently if you'd come from a place of academic discussion: I was riding the train today and saw something and it got me thinking. On one hand, I want a world in which... On the other hand, the world is often... Has anyone struggled with this? What do you all think one person's responsibility to change perception IS, and how can we ever REALLY know what people are thinking when they see us eat on the train/go shirtless in public? I'm thinking of a thread here like McBeth's, on the BBW board, about the fat girl angle in photos. Yes, a few people were angered and had a nose out of joint, but I think most people contributing to the thread did some big-picture thinking and discussed the topic without needing to be so personal. There is room for that at Dims, or at least there should be. I don't think that approach in this thread would've gone over seamlessly or anything, but there would've been some good discussion and fewer hurt feelings. And less righteous anger directed at what you wrote.

But you didn't come from that place, and if you're honest with yourself, you know I'm right. Worse still, you asked what we thought, but then you answered your question for us (she WAS wrong! She SHOULD'VE eaten fruit!) and you wouldn't hear anyone else's take. Not really. 

So I'm going to ask you, once again, to try to accept that there IS a world in which people don't judge you for taking off your shirt in the heat even if you don't think you compare favorably with other men. I would never feel embarrassed for you. I can tell from what you wrote that you don't believe that world exists. You may need blind faith then because it does. And if you can begin to believe it does, then perhaps you can better understand what so many here have said, that we don't feel it's a question of 'moral responsibility' to act a certain way around food because we're fat. That while there will always be rude comments or inaccurate thoughts, we don't have to alter our behavior because of them if we choose not to. And that we don't owe anyone anything in the case you're describing above.

Despite the absolute outrage I felt when I read your post, I think I now really do see where you're coming from; it's a place of fear, and a place of hypersensitivity and a place of wanting to do anything to blend in and not feel shame. But that's not a good place to be in life and I believe that we can choose not to live that way. And I hope you don't read this as an attack, but an explanation of why you angered people so much, and, I hope, some encouragement for you.


----------



## MisterGuy

In the interest of size-acceptance, I think all fat people should stop eating until they're thin. That will bust up some stereotypes.


----------



## tonynyc

Jes said:


> Oh, lord, I can't find the OP's original comment but this is to what I'm referring:
> 
> 
> *How many of you so-called anti-sizeists can honestly say that if you saw a 32 year old guy with a pathetic skinny body like that of a teenage kid walking around bare-chested who everyone was staring at, you would not feel a bit embarrassed for him?*
> --



Almost sounds like the classic "Charles Atlas" Ads that use to be printed in the back of comic books








*Jes: you do bring up a valid point how would someone react!!!*

If someone was to make a comment or vent about someone eating food in public transportation they would be met with an equally rude and colorful response....


----------



## DitzyBrunette

This morning I saw they had croissants in the mini market across the street from my house. If eating on the buses here weren't against the rules, I'd so do it and post a pic of it here.


----------



## Fat.n.sassy

Goodness Gracious! This thread has really taken on a life of it's own! I should thank thinguy! LOLOL!


----------



## Rosie

thinguyforbbw said:


> i sat there thinking that she is giving fat people a bad name, she should have been more responsible and waited till she left the train, i mean, in an ideal world she can eat what she likes where she likes, but in reality, we all have responsibilities, and if there is a negative stereotype against you, you should work to make sure that people change their perception, and her eating on the train just gave a really bad rep for fat people.



Since when do we have a "responsibility" to "work to make sure that people change their perception" of fat people???? I feel no such responsibility at all. I never ate on public transportation when I used to use it, but then I never eat anywhere in public that isn't a designated eating spot ie. restaurant, food court etc. If others want to, I see nothing wrong with it.

BTW, most of us are fat through our own actions - we eat/have eaten more calories than we expend. Why deny it? Denying it makes us look far worse than eating a croissant in public! Yes, there are some who are fat because of medical issues, medication etc., but it's not the majority. However, we still deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, regardless of how we got/why we are fat.


----------



## midnightrogue

this thread brings the lulz.........


----------



## Tooz

thinguyforbbw said:


> well, i just think it is irresponsible. true, they're not doing anything wrong, but, it is still irresponsible - i mean, if they were eating a banana or apple, it would be different, but a fat lady next to me today got out a big croissant and started eating it and i felt like cringing because she was the fattest person in our compartment and was the only person eating. i sat there thinking that she is giving fat people a bad name, she should have been more responsible and waited till she left the train, i mean, in an ideal world she can eat what she likes where she likes, but in reality, we all have responsibilities, and if there is a negative stereotype against you, you should work to make sure that people change their perception, and her eating on the train just gave a really bad rep for fat people.



imma buy the biggest, fattiest donut i can find

i will locate the train you are on

i will locate you

i will sit next to you

i will eat the donut

IN PUBLIC

!!!!!!!


----------



## Tooz

stldpn said:


> When I do it? Always real. But when she does it... could go either way. Hers actually taste better when she does a instant mix because when I say she makes her taters PLAIN I mean plain. No butter no milk no salt no pepper added. Just boiled and mashed and thrown on the table.



this would fill me with rage and i would set it on fire


----------



## willowmoon

DitzyBrunette said:


> This morning I saw they had croissants in the mini market across the street from my house. If eating on the buses here weren't against the rules, I'd so do it and post a pic of it here.



Someone PUHLEAZE rep DB for me on this one! :bow:


----------



## Dromond

stldpn said:


> When I do it? Always real. But when she does it... could go either way. Hers actually taste better when she does a instant mix because when I say she makes her taters PLAIN I mean plain. *No butter no milk no salt no pepper added. Just boiled and mashed and thrown on the table.*



That's not mashed potatoes, that's paste.


----------



## DitzyBrunette

willowmoon said:


> Someone PUHLEAZE rep DB for me on this one! :bow:



Well I can't actually do it because of the bus rules, but thanks


----------



## msbard90

Dromond said:


> That's not mashed potatoes, that's paste.



In first grade, I sat next to a kid who ate paste under the desk....


----------



## Fat Brian

msbard90 said:


> In first grade, I sat next to a kid who ate paste under the desk....




Ded he asplode ? It duznt kownt if no asplodzun.


----------



## msbard90

It was a she, and no she did not explode. In fact, she is THEEEEE skinniest thing I have ever seen, and still to this day, despite all the paste I've witnessed her eat that year.


----------



## Fat Brian

I guess if you'll eat paste all that diet shit tastes fine.


----------



## msbard90

the paste didnt even make her...uh.... well..... pasty.


----------



## joswitch

Tooz said:


> imma buy the biggest, fattiest donut i can find
> 
> i will locate the train you are on
> 
> i will locate you
> 
> i will sit next to you
> 
> i will eat the donut
> 
> IN PUBLIC
> 
> !!!!!!!



Lonely Island says:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4

Better take a couple of napkins at the donut store!


----------



## joswitch

Rosie said:


> Since when do we have a "responsibility" to "work to make sure that people change their perception" of fat people???? I feel no such responsibility at all. I never ate on public transportation when I used to use it, but then I never eat anywhere in public that isn't a designated eating spot ie. restaurant, food court etc. If others want to, I see nothing wrong with it.
> 
> BTW, *most of us are fat through our own actions *-



^Not necessarily.
I agree that "some people (may be) fat through their own actions"
BUT -
The idea that ALL or even MOST individual humans have voluntary control over their weight / fatness is just an a$$umption, (particularly beloved by the industry that makes $billions out of body misery) - 
The biological truth is more complex:
Here's just a few instances of* involuntary complicating factors*

*Appetite, BMR, body temperature regulation, unconscious movement...*

*Hormones*: 
- balance between *estrogen / testosterone*
- influence of *cortisol*
lack of, disturbed, irregular and/or counter diurnal *sleep*, as well as *stress* - all act to increase cortisol, reducing muscle % and increasing body fat%, which lowers BMR > weight gain even when eating same amount...
And if you don't think hormones are all THAT important.
The difference between men and women? Down to hormones. See also TS.

*Genetics* - identical twin studies find that twins raised in different environments, tend to be the same fattness (or not). Some people really are "built big / small / fat / thin / muscly".

*Ratchet gaining* - more commonly called "yo-yo dieting". Each episode of semi-starvation / caloric deprivation triggers the body's famine response which (in a similar way to the cortisol mediated stress response) clobbers the body's metabolism, leading to increased fat%, reduced muscle %, among other things - lowered BMR > weight gain on the same amount of calories that used to = maintainence.

I could go on, and on, but this thread has gone to fun now which is cool...
Plus no-one ever gets this stuff anyway, because OMIGODALLFATPEOPLEEATEATEATALLDAY!!!!
is chiselled onto people's brains.
Cos it's one of those pat, convenient "answers" that almost all humans have an instinctual love for and will grip for grim death. :sigh:




> we eat/have eaten more calories than we expend.



This is a tautology: All living things have eaten more calories than they expend. The anabolic process of building bodies uses calorically valuable material to construct living cells - all life: animal, plant or microbe is built this way. 



> Why deny it? Denying it makes us look far worse than eating a croissant in public! Yes, there are some who are fat because of medical issues, medication etc., *but it's not the majority*.



^That's another really $popular assumption.

Why not try this: Interview 1,000 fat adult Americans.
Can you find more than 100 who have NEVER experienced a month or more of any or all of the following?:
-stress
-sleep problems
-malnourishment (any of: caloric deprivation - by diet or otherwise and/or lack of vitamins, minerals or roughage)



> * However, we still deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, regardless of how we got/why we are fat.*



^YesYesYes. Absolutely. I agree. *applause*


----------



## LovelyLiz

I do sometimes wonder, though, why is it so important to let all of us fat people "off the hook" for being fat? It's as if there is something deeply morally wrong with someone who just eats a lot or who doesn't get enough exercise, so we have to claim that's the minority of fat people. Whether it is or not, is beside the point. I'm more just wondering WHY some posters, like you joswitch, feel the need to do this. (Totally not attacking at all! Just asking a genuine question.)  

I realize that yes, there are plenty of fat people who don't live much differently from thin counterparts, and some who are fat because of medical reasons, etc. But I feel like our time is better spent giving the message that no matter what reason someone is fat, even if it is something that's at least minimally in their control, that doesn't mean fat people should be treated with anything but the utmost respect and dignity. If we start arguing that fat people are okay because really "it's not their fault"...well, then, what do we say for those fat people where it is their fault? Is it okay for them to get shafted, then? No.


----------



## Fat Brian

I take total ownership of my fatness. I know that my eating and lack of exercise are 100% of the cause of my fatness. It is a life choice, I like to eat and be still more than I like to be hungry and jump around. By not taking on a victim role I feel more empowered to tell people where to go when they say something about my weight. If more people would accept fatness as a life choice and not as their being a victim of some unknown assailant SA could be moved forward at a much greater pace.


----------



## joswitch

mcbeth said:


> I do sometimes wonder, though, why is it so important to let all of us fat people "off the hook" for being fat? It's as if there is something deeply morally wrong with someone who just eats a lot or who doesn't get enough exercise, so we have to claim that's the minority of fat people. Whether it is or not, is beside the point. I'm more just wondering WHY some posters, like you joswitch, feel the need to do this. (Totally not attacking at all! Just asking a genuine question.)



Nope. There was nothing at all moral in my post.
I don't believe that how you get / stay fat / thin has ANY moral aspect.
Society does though. It uses the common belief of "how > fat" as a crowbar to dehumanise fat people. And society needs to GTFOI that noise. Society also needs to get over giving moral values to foods / exercise as well. FFS!

All I'm doing ^up there (and have tried to do on DIMs in the past) is seeking to explode standard boilerplate societal a$$sumptions, by introducing some scientific understanding of the complexities involved.

It really is NOT as simple as the vast majority would have us believe.



> I realize that yes, there are plenty of fat people who don't live much differently from thin counterparts, and some who are fat because of medical reasons, etc.* But I feel like our time is better spent giving the message that no matter what reason someone is fat, even if it is something that's at least minimally in their control, that doesn't mean fat people should be treated with anything but the utmost respect and dignity.*



I agree.



> If we start arguing *that fat people are okay because really "it's not their fault"...* well, then, what do we say for those fat people where it is their fault? Is it okay for them to get shafted, then? No.



^I didn't say that, nor imply it, although I understand that many people infer it  whenever I start talking about the ins and outs of human physiology.

FTR:
Fat people are okay - cos fat people are people. 
All fat people.

So they should get treated just like other people.


----------



## joswitch

Fat Brian said:


> I take total ownership of my fatness. I know that my eating and lack of exercise are 100% of the cause of my fatness. It is a life choice, I like to eat and be still more than I like to be hungry and jump around. By not taking on a victim role I feel more empowered to tell people where to go when they say something about my weight. If more people would accept fatness as a life choice and not as their being a victim of some unknown assailant SA could be moved forward at a much greater pace.



As McBeth said - the whole debate of why? and how? fatness =
somewhat of a red herring / detour as far as size acceptance is concerned.

Your personal attitude to your body is, of course, your choice.

The science of why? and how? fatness is useful to understand, particularly when faced with "health-based" discrimination that derives from simplistic assumptions and generalisations, which have been popular among humanity for well over 2,000 years... Science has moved on considerably since then, and yet public policy rarely, if ever, takes account of any of the many disproofs of the "greedy = fat= death" hypothesis.

While the SA movement can fight public policy health-service discrimination on grounds of human dignity & tax / premiums paid, scientists who are informed can fight the underlying assumptions (that provide fat haterz and their indu$try their supposed "high ground"). Linda Bacon is doing exactly that with HAES - which is based on solid scientific/clinical research.

A two-pronged attack!

There was very dodgy science done to support racist policies in the past.
Pulling the rug out from under that was, of course, only a very small part of the battle. But every little helps.


----------



## LoveBHMS

> While the SA movement can fight public policy health-service discrimination on grounds of human dignity & tax / premiums paid, scientists who are informed can fight the underlying assumptions (that provide fat haterz and their indu$try their supposed "high ground"). Linda Bacon is doing exactly that with HAES - which is based on solid scientific/clinical research.



Except HAES does just what McBeth is talking about, it breaks up good and bad fatties. A fat person who doesn't move and who eats junk food isn't practicing health at any size because those things are not healthy. 

Also this thread has turned into one of the perennially interesting Dims phenomena that happens fairly regularly. One or more fat people write in plain English why they think they're fat and somebody else gets angry at them and basically contradicts their own words about their own experiences. It comes off as threatening to a certain mindset and nonwithstanding the fact that the actual fat people are saying what is true for them and their lives and their bodies, somebody comes along and tells them they're wrong.


----------



## joswitch

LoveBHMS said:


> Except HAES does just what McBeth is talking about, it breaks up good and bad fatties. A fat person who doesn't move and who eats junk food isn't practicing health at any size because those things are not healthy.


 No HAES doesn't morally judge nor is it divisive


> Also this thread has turned into one of the perennially interesting Dims phenomena that happens fairly regularly. One or more fat people write in plain English why they think they're fat and somebody else gets angry at them and basically contradicts their own words about their own experiences. It comes off as threatening to a certain mindset and nonwithstanding the fact that the actual fat people are saying what is true for them and their lives and their bodies, somebody comes along and tells them they're wrong.



Wrong.
I'm not angry.
I'm not denying personal experience (see my post to Fat Brian).
Rosa generalised to most (fat) people.
Science = bigger sample sizes = better data for generalities.

Nice try. No cigar for you.


----------



## Jes

mcbeth said:


> I do sometimes wonder, though, why is it so important to let all of us fat people "off the hook" for being fat? It's as if there is something deeply morally wrong with someone who just eats a lot or who doesn't get enough exercise, so we have to claim that's the minority of fat people. Whether it is or not, is beside the point. I'm more just wondering WHY some posters, like you joswitch, feel the need to do this. (Totally not attacking at all! Just asking a genuine question.)



I posted something about this a long time ago. Personally, I don't believe that most fat people are fat through none of their own doing. But I don't know that my belief is a fact. But once someone is fat, do we rank him or her? If I'm fat because it sexually excites me and my partner when I eat 82 pies a day and you're fat because of genetics and your lack of desire for exercise and he's fat because he has a thyroid issue and she's fat because she has terrible eating habits and a sedentary lifestyle then... Either we're for accepting everyone or we're not. We accept fat or we don't. There is always such a rush to posts like Joswitch's and while I'm sure of them are attempts to correct inaccurate info about fat, the rest strike me as just what you're talking about. COOTIES! COOOOTIES!


----------



## Fat Brian

You're absolutely right, a fat person who is fat because of lifestyle is no better or worse than a person who is fat due to a medical condition. To play that game is to pass judgments on people just like the outside world does.


----------



## tonynyc

Tooz said:


> imma buy the biggest, fattiest donut i can find
> 
> i will locate the train you are on
> 
> i will locate you
> 
> *i will sit next to you*
> 
> i will eat the donut
> 
> IN PUBLIC
> 
> !!!!!!!



*w*e may have to wrassle that spot away from "thinguy"


----------



## imfree

tonynyc said:


> *w*e may have to wrassle that spot away from "thinguy"



No doubt, Tony! He probably gets off on fat Gals eating
on public transpo and thinks he can fool us into thinking
otherwise.


----------



## LoveBHMS

joswitch said:


> No HAES doesn't morally judge nor is it divisive
> 
> Wrong.
> I'm not angry.
> I'm not denying personal experience (see my post to Fat Brian).
> Rosa generalised to most (fat) people.
> Science = bigger sample sizes = better data for generalities.
> 
> Nice try. No cigar for you.



Rosie's opinion=just as valuable as yours. Just because you can make longer posts does not mean what you have to say is more correct.

And my comment about HAES did not come from an observation i made, it came from something a fat person said to me about why she did not support it. Maybe rather than grandstanding you can take a step back and try to respect what actual fat people have to say.


----------



## joswitch

@LovesBHM - Rosa's opinion about HERself (&maybe individuals she has known all her life) is MORE valid than mine. When Rosa or anyone else starts talking in generalities about biological causation - that's where science and evidence beat anyone's "opinion" - every time.
The good / bad fatty thing is exactly the social stereotype we've been railing against in this thread... It is EXTERNAL to / nothing to do with HAES.. 
Whether you do HAES or not has NO moral aspect, moral values are not assigned to foods in HAES.. what you've said about HAES demonstrates that you don't get it* - go read up on Linda Bacon's site - google is your friend...

IMO - the political value of the science HAES is built on, is the proof that you cannot reliably tell anything about someone - including in this instance, health -
just by looking at how fat or thin they are. It explodes assumptions. That doing that then reveals another underlying asinine prejudice - namely that only fat people are judged for being "greedy" or "lazy", opens that prejudice up for attack too... As Jes said if you keep attacking fat hatred it all comes down to COOTIES!! 

*not a surprise as you base your opinion on hearsay...


----------



## joswitch

^ Rosa should = "Rosie" above, sorry.


----------



## joswitch

Jes said:


> I posted something about this a long time ago. Personally, I don't believe that most fat people are fat through none of their own doing. But I don't know that my belief is a fact. But once someone is fat, *do we rank him or her?* If I'm fat because it sexually excites me and my partner when I eat 82 pies a day and you're fat because of genetics and your lack of desire for exercise and he's fat because he has a thyroid issue and she's fat because she has terrible eating habits and a sedentary lifestyle then... *Either we're for accepting everyone or we're not. We accept fat or we don't.* There is always such a rush to posts like Joswitch's and while I'm sure of them are attempts to correct inaccurate info about fat, the rest strike me as just what you're talking about. COOTIES! COOOOTIES!



^No ranking. 
No good / bad fat people other than there are good / bad people.

Idi Amin (murderous dictator of Uganda) and Robert Maxwell (swindler of pensions) were bad people, due to their actions. 
Winston Churchill (leader of Britain during defence against Nazis) and Hotei (Zen monk of legend, inspiration for the "fat Buddha") were good people, due to their actions.

That they were all fat is neither here nor there.

The point of my post was the science itself - that runs counter to some very popular assumptions that are used to underpin /justify prejudice. In this case, *science shows: it is unsound to assume stuff about someone from their fatness - or thinness.*

The *assumptions used to shore up prejudice are layered like an onion, though, so once you peel one you find another.* In this case: the good / bad fatty issue, cherished by fatphobes in retreat, is based on the assumption that eating a lot and/ or not exercising have a moral aspect. That false assumption can, in turn, be exploded by pointing out that *fatphobes do not devote time and energy to attacking greedy / lazy thin people.* Proving that fatphobic outrage at fat people is nothing to do with their actions and everything to do with their fat.

So *ultimately* - exactly as you say - *it's just a Ewww! thing for fatphobic people.* 

So I agree that you could spend lots of time and energy arguing the details, OR you can cut straight to the chase and force fatphobes to STFU and backTFoff... Some people will chose route 1 others route 2...


----------



## LoveBHMS

Health at any size is not just about saying that all fat people are not unhealthy or about suspending such judgements. The point is to shift away from a weight loss mentality and onto a good health mentality and practice healthful eating and exercise as a means to good health and not being skinny. A fat person who eats KFC and doesn't exercise is going to be unhealthy, as is a skinny person who eats KFC and doesn't exercise.

My point about HAES being divisive is this. If you use it to combat fat bigotry and say "not all fatties are unhealthy" that is going to seperate healthy from unhealthy fat people. If you say some fat people follow the HAES manifesto and eat salads and ride their bike to work, what does that say about the fat people who eat Twinkies and park close to the office so they don't have to walk an extra step? I think Jes's and McBeth's points are that it's not SA to take that step of pointing out that some people are fat even though they eat healthfully and exercise, because the simple truth is some fat people do have weight related health problems and don't eat healthfully or exercise. They want SA to cover all fat people regardless of lifestyle.


----------



## LovelyLiz

LoveBHMS said:


> Health at any size is not just about saying that all fat people are not unhealthy or about suspending such judgements. The point is to shift away from a weight loss mentality and onto a good health mentality and practice healthful eating and exercise as a means to good health and not being skinny. A fat person who eats KFC and doesn't exercise is going to be unhealthy, as is a skinny person who eats KFC and doesn't exercise.
> 
> My point about HAES being divisive is this. If you use it to combat fat bigotry and say "not all fatties are unhealthy" that is going to seperate healthy from unhealthy fat people. If you say some fat people follow the HAES manifesto and eat salads and ride their bike to work, what does that say about the fat people who eat Twinkies and park close to the office so they don't have to walk an extra step? *I think Jes's and McBeth's points are that it's not SA to take that step of pointing out that some people are fat even though they eat healthfully and exercise, because the simple truth is some fat people do have weight related health problems and don't eat healthfully or exercise. They want SA to cover all fat people regardless of lifestyle.*



I agree with your statements about HAES. It still does focus on healthy living, for sure, and some people seem to forget that.

To nuance your assessment of my position, I actually think it IS good for us (and good for SA) to point out that some fat people are active and strive to eat healthfully; because 1) it is simply true, and 2) it widens people's imaginations for what is possible for fat people. BUT...I disagree that it should ever enter into the conversation when we're talking about whether people should be treated fairly and with respect. When it does, like you say, it makes it sound as if only fat people that strive to live a healthy lifestyle deserve good treatment, and that's BS. And I'm speaking as someone who does try to do so...about 87.3% of the time.


----------



## shellbelle

LoveBHMS said:


> Health at any size is not just about saying that all fat people are not unhealthy or about suspending such judgements. The point is to shift away from a weight loss mentality and onto a good health mentality and practice healthful eating and exercise as a means to good health and not being skinny. A fat person who eats KFC and doesn't exercise is going to be unhealthy, as is a skinny person who eats KFC and doesn't exercise.
> 
> My point about HAES being divisive is this. If you use it to combat fat bigotry and say "not all fatties are unhealthy" that is going to seperate healthy from unhealthy fat people. If you say some fat people follow the HAES manifesto and eat salads and ride their bike to work, what does that say about the fat people who eat Twinkies and park close to the office so they don't have to walk an extra step? I think Jes's and McBeth's points are that it's not SA to take that step of pointing out that some people are fat even though they eat healthfully and exercise, because the simple truth is some fat people do have weight related health problems and don't eat healthfully or exercise. They want SA to cover all fat people regardless of lifestyle.



i don't know where you get the idea that HAES should be used to combat fat bigotry beyond providing an alternative to diet culture. that's basically all it is. it's a health program, not a political standpoint.


----------



## LoveBHMS

mcbeth said:


> I agree with your statements about HAES. It still does focus on healthy living, for sure, and some people seem to forget that.
> 
> To nuance your assessment of my position, I actually think it IS good for us (and good for SA) to point out that some fat people are active and strive to eat healthfully; because 1) it is simply true, and 2) it widens people's imaginations for what is possible for fat people. BUT...I disagree that it should ever enter into the conversation when we're talking about whether people should be treated fairly and with respect. When it does, like you say, it makes it sound as if only fat people that strive to live a healthy lifestyle deserve good treatment, and that's BS. And I'm speaking as someone who does try to do so...about 87.3% of the time.



But if you're pointing out lifestyle in the name of SA, what happens to the fat people who don't adhere to that lifestyle? Or more to the point, if you're splitting up fat people between those who follow HAES and those who sit on the train eating croissants, aren't you promoting the 'good fatty' vs 'bad fatty' idea?

If you just talk about lifestyle and leave out size, i'd say it's impossible to not react more positively towards somebody who practices certain behaviour. If a poster of any size writes about giving up soda for sparkling water, that's encouraged. Healthy behaviour is inevitably seen as positive. So when you bring lifestyle into the SA discussion, you are going to wind up spotlighting the fact that *some fat people* participate in positive and admirable behaviour but it's also going to spotlight that some don't.

It's a tough sell to the outside world to say "well some fat people behave themselves, so treat all of them the same way".


----------



## LovelyLiz

LoveBHMS said:


> But if you're pointing out lifestyle in the name of SA, what happens to the fat people who don't adhere to that lifestyle? Or more to the point, if you're splitting up fat people between those who follow HAES and those who sit on the train eating croissants, aren't you promoting the 'good fatty' vs 'bad fatty' idea?
> 
> If you just talk about lifestyle and leave out size, i'd say it's impossible to not react more positively towards somebody who practices certain behaviour. If a poster of any size writes about giving up soda for sparkling water, that's encouraged. Healthy behaviour is inevitably seen as positive. So when you bring lifestyle into the SA discussion, you are going to wind up spotlighting the fact that *some fat people* participate in positive and admirable behaviour but it's also going to spotlight that some don't.
> 
> *It's a tough sell to the outside world to say "well some fat people behave themselves, so treat all of them the same way".*



It's the word "so" in your last sentence that is totally NOT what I'm saying. I intentionally said just the opposite, in fact. I am just saying that part of SA is to give a realistic view of fat people - some fat people exercise, some don't, some eat healthy, some don't (just like thin people)...and everyone needs to be treated the same way, regardless.


----------



## stldpn

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Perhaps not clueless but maybe just busy? or busier now?
> 
> 
> And just bring your own gravy and whatever else gives you comfort/satisfaction without the fuss.....don't ask anymore. Bring a lot and politely offer to share with everyone. You know...it's your contribution to the meal



No, really not that busy.

At this point I just know to bring the gravy, but I also know that gravy tastes a hell of a lot better if you have some drippings to go in it.


----------



## stldpn

Tooz said:


> this would fill me with rage and i would set it on fire






Dromond said:


> That's not mashed potatoes, that's paste.



Yeah I'm not to keen on mortar potatoes. Because once the potatoes cool that's pretty much all you got.


----------



## joswitch

LoveBHMS said:


> *snip*
> My point about HAES being divisive is this.



Fatphobic bigot: "Fat people are bad cos blahblahblah unhealthy lifestyle."



> If you use it to combat fat bigotry and say "not all fatties are unhealthy" that is going to seperate healthy from unhealthy fat people. If you say some fat people follow the HAES manifesto and eat salads and ride their bike to work, what does that say about the fat people who eat Twinkies and park close to the office so they don't have to walk an extra step?



Fatphobic bigot: "whuh?? oh well blahblah blah *some* bad fatties unhealthy" 
(^concession, fallback, retrench)

SA advocate: "lots of (thin) people have unhealthy lifestyle, you're not campaigning against them. There's nothing morally reprehensible about an unhealthy lifestyle. Ghandi had an unhealthy lieftsyle - he often went on hunger strike which does terrible damage to the body.... Yet he acheived great things for his people and humanity, he's held up as a good person worldwide."

Fatphobic bigot:"But whargarble drain on resources tax insurance rates"
(flanking)

SA advocate: "Fat people pay taxes too, and they pay MORE in health insurance premiums, so they are subsidising YOU."

Fatphobic bigot: "Whargle bibble blah COOTIES!"
(melee)

SA advocate: "Fat people are people too, so they deserve the same dignity and decent treatment as everyone else"

Fatphobic bigot: "Repetition foams at mouth"
(beserk)

SA advocate: "I think it's you that has the problem, not fat people."

...Hit someone 3 times fast in a fight and most people freak out and their brains "shut down". Above ^ equals three fast punches in debate.



> I think Jes's and McBeth's points are that it's not SA to take that step of pointing out that some people are fat even though they eat healthfully and exercise, because the simple truth is some fat people do have weight related health problems and don't eat healthfully or exercise. They want SA to cover all fat people regardless of lifestyle.



If you want SA to be the most simplified political movement possible, then I concede that you may want to dodge the complexities of health and skip straight to "*healthy or unhealthy is irrelevant - everyone has human right to fair treatment*."

I understand that unless you have a really strong grounding in the science it's going to be very difficult to argue against the grain of common belief. Even if you do, most people have zero clue about debate, science or logic (see thread "Logical Fallacy" in Hyde Park) so you'd probably be wasting your time.

But I don't think SA activists are doing themselves or anyone else a favour by conceding ground by saying "most" fat people got that way by their own choice - 
First; cos it isn't proven to be true. There is evidence to disprove it. 
Second; (while you could say "some" do that), if you are going to argue it's IRRELEVANT anyway, there's zero point saying anything on it at all. It's poor tactics to give succor to the enemy. Unless you're luring them into a trap.



Outside of the politics of SA - I think it's really useful as individuals fat, thin or otherwise to understand the many different factors at play in our biology. Whether or not we choose to use that knowledge in whatever manner (health maintainance or athletic performance or weight manipulation or hormone adjustment....) is entirely up to the individual. *Knowledge is power.*


----------



## joswitch

mcbeth said:


> I agree with your statements about HAES. It still does focus on healthy living, for sure, and some people seem to forget that.
> 
> To nuance your assessment of my position, I actually think it IS good for us (and good for SA) to point out that some fat people are active and strive to eat healthfully; *because 1) it is simply true, and 2) it widens people's imaginations for what is possible for fat people.*



^That, bolded, is what I was getting at!

From bitter experience tho':
I think that my belief that "the truth will set you free" and that you can crack open people's tiny hardened minds and soften their flinty hateful hearts with a strong dose of truth, reason and compassion.... may in fact be naively dewy eyed.
And probably has more to do with my personal love for truth, than how humans work in general.



> BUT.*..I disagree that it should ever enter into the conversation when we're talking about whether people should be treated fairly and with respect. When it does, like you say, it makes it sound as if only fat people that strive to live a healthy lifestyle deserve good treatment, and that's BS.* And I'm speaking as someone who does try to do so...about 87.3% of the time.



^I agree with you.


----------



## stldpn

joswitch said:


> ...Hit someone 3 times fast in a fight and most people freak out and their brains "shut down". Above ^ equals three fast punches in debate.



Just for the record... I actually prefer punching over debating when it comes to a fat bigot.


----------



## missy_blue_eyez

thinguyforbbw said:


> as i am sure you all know, i am not sizeist, and i like fat women.
> 
> i have often argued with friends who say that fat people are fat because they are lazy and just stuff their faces. but one thing i notice quite a lot is that on the trains you get fat women who are eating something, and that really frustrates me, because it just makes peoples prejudice stronger that fat people are fat because of their own irresponsibility. has anyone else felt the same way?



I am pretty much lost for words....and also, wondering if it was me you happened to see chowing down on that delicious bit of pastry on the train! lol

In essence, I shouldnt have to explain myself but here goes...I work 2 jobs, Most days I am out from 7am and dont get home til about 11pm, within that time I work a massive shift at one of my jobs usually something like 7.45-5, get on a bus/train/metro etc to my next job where I will start at 6-10.30ish, in that whole time I will grab whatever I can to eat and grab whatever little bit of time I can to eat it in....but because Im a fat woman, even though Ive slogged my f*ckin arse off alllllllday, I shouldnt eat on public transport because I am indulging in gluttonous behaviour which panders to a stereotype?! Seriously dude, you gots issues!

I really would love to know what train you use though because believe me Id make sure I had a season ticket next to you and save my meal times for train journeys and make sure you had to endure the absolute pain of me tuckin' in! 

Im sorry to say, but its because of people with mindsets like you that the stereotypes and the hatred towards plus sized women will never go away, for someone who says they like big women, I am shocked at the sheer hatred in your words....I bid you good day my friend!


----------



## Dr. Feelgood

stldpn said:


> Just for the record... I actually prefer punching over debating when it comes to a fat bigot.



Before you can debate someone you have to get his attention, right?



missy_blue_eyez said:


> I really would love to know what train you use though because believe me Id make sure I had a season ticket next to you and save my meal times for train journeys and make sure you had to endure the absolute pain of me tuckin' in!



If you do this, you might consider bringing a limburger cheese sandwich (talk about getting someone's attention!).


----------



## Red

I used to feel bad about eating in public, wandering the train until I found a seat hidden away just so I could enjoy my panini away from prying eyes. You can't please everyone and if you're hungry and stuck on a train, eat. As long as you have good manners and you food isn't in the face of other passengers, why not?

I was once on the train, rush hour from London, sat in one of those table seats and had a pasta salad but no fork. I was so hungry I just picked at it discreetly from inside a paper bag using my fingers. A man near me handed me a spare plastic fork he had in his bag and told me to enjoy it, with a wink and smile. I thought that was really nice because you know what, when he first approached my first reaction was that of panic, fearing he was going to say something horrible and I was ashamed. To the OP, it seems like you need to deal with your inner demons before you judge those around you. You yourself are the main culprit when it comes to giving fat girls a bad name.


----------



## tonynyc

stldpn said:


> Just for the record... I actually prefer punching over debating when it comes to a fat bigot.




Perhaps the reason as to why the OP posed the question concerning BBW rather than BHM- though I suspect many of our lovely BBW/SSBBW are more than capable of dishing out a verabal and or physical smackdown to the offending person :happy:


----------



## CastingPearls

tonynyc said:


> Perhaps the reason as to why the OP posed the question concerning BBW rather than BHM- though I suspect many of our lovely BBW/SSBBW are more than capable of dishing out a verabal and or physical smackdown to the offending person :happy:


Yeah, I think I mentioned that very thing in my early contribution to this thread before I lost interest and wandered back in here again looking for the restroom.......


----------



## thinguyforbbw

missy_blue_eyez said:


> I am pretty much lost for words....and also, wondering if it was me you happened to see chowing down on that delicious bit of pastry on the train! lol
> 
> In essence, I shouldnt have to explain myself but here goes...I work 2 jobs, Most days I am out from 7am and dont get home til about 11pm, within that time I work a massive shift at one of my jobs usually something like 7.45-5, get on a bus/train/metro etc to my next job where I will start at 6-10.30ish, in that whole time I will grab whatever I can to eat and grab whatever little bit of time I can to eat it in....but because Im a fat woman, even though Ive slogged my f*ckin arse off alllllllday, I shouldnt eat on public transport because I am indulging in gluttonous behaviour which panders to a stereotype?! Seriously dude, you gots issues!
> 
> I really would love to know what train you use though because believe me Id make sure I had a season ticket next to you and save my meal times for train journeys and make sure you had to endure the absolute pain of me tuckin' in!
> 
> Im sorry to say, but its because of people with mindsets like you that the stereotypes and the hatred towards plus sized women will never go away, for someone who says they like big women, I am shocked at the sheer hatred in your words....I bid you good day my friend!





I'm not really going to go around trying to say what I was trying to say, because there are certainly fat people on this forum who seem to have a hatred for anyone who is non-fat and will just be abusive without seeing my point of view. I appreciate that fat people have suffered a lot of abuse, but this is no reason for them to then start getting "militant" against non-fat people.
My simple concern was that until the time that society has been better educated, maybe fat people ought to consider being responsible at times. That was all.

I later made a comment about gluttony, because that is what I see on this thread. People posting pictures of food, and lusting over it - this on a thread, where it is most inappropriate. 

And then for some reason people start saying I am a closet FA! And that my attitude is like this because I have insecurities about my own body, and that I got rejected by a big woman on a dating site.
She never rejected me, it was her friend who posted her profile, and it was her friend who said she thinks I am unsuitable for her because I am too thin. That's ok with me, people are entitled to their opinion. No hard feelings. And I am not a closet FA either, I mean, it is true that I no longer announce to friends that I like big women, but that is only because on more than one occasion during conversation someone has remarked that I would not be able to handle a big woman in the bedroom, and so I just don't want these kind of comments again, and so I just keep quiet, but this does not mean I am a closet FA, not at all.

I think some of the fat people on this forum really need to get off their high horse and start treating others with different opinions with respect, instead of getting all "militant".


----------



## goofy girl

Fat women who eat on public transportation are hungry.


----------



## mszwebs

thinguyforbbw said:


> I'm not really going to go around trying to say what I was trying to say, because there are certainly fat people on this forum who seem to have a hatred for anyone who is non-fat and will just be abusive without seeing my point of view. I appreciate that fat people have suffered a lot of abuse, but this is no reason for them to then start getting "militant" against non-fat people.
> My simple concern was that until the time that society has been better educated, maybe fat people ought to consider being responsible at times. That was all.
> 
> I later made a comment about gluttony, because that is what I see on this thread. People posting pictures of food, and lusting over it - this on a thread, where it is most inappropriate.
> 
> And then for some reason people start saying I am a closet FA! And that my attitude is like this because I have insecurities about my own body, and that I got rejected by a big woman on a dating site.
> She never rejected me, it was her friend who posted her profile, and it was her friend who said she thinks I am unsuitable for her because I am too thin. That's ok with me, people are entitled to their opinion. No hard feelings. And I am not a closet FA either, I mean, it is true that I no longer announce to friends that I like big women, but that is only because on more than one occasion during conversation someone has remarked that I would not be able to handle a big woman in the bedroom, and so I just don't want these kind of comments again, and so I just keep quiet, but this does not mean I am a closet FA, not at all.
> 
> I think some of the fat people on this forum really need to get off their high horse and start treating others with different opinions with respect, instead of getting all "militant".



Just because a fat woman gets angry that someone is suggesting she not eat in public when she isn't at a table, does not mean that she is militant.

In my case, it just means that I am still wondering how it affects YOU at all...not being a fat woman?

If I'm not embarrassed or worried about it, neither should you be. You can not feel my shame if I'm not feeling it. You're only feeling your own.


----------



## disconnectedsmile

thinguyforbbw, at this point, my frustration prevents me from properly expressing my outright disgust with you and your habitual righteousness. 
perhaps someone more eloquent than myself can properly illustrate how closed minded and just plain asinine you sound.
until then...



thinguyforbbw said:


> I think some of the fat people on this forum really need to get off their high horse...


pot, meet kettle.


thinguyforbbw said:


> ...and if there is a negative stereotype against you, you should work to make sure that people change their perception, and her eating on the train just gave a really bad rep for fat people.


----------



## mossystate

thinguyforbbw said:


> I'm not really going to go around trying to say what I was trying to say, because there are certainly fat people on this forum who seem to have a hatred for anyone who is non-fat and will just be abusive without seeing my point of view. I appreciate that fat people have suffered a lot of abuse, but this is no reason for them to then start getting "militant" against non-fat people.
> My simple concern was that until the time that society has been better educated, maybe fat people ought to consider being responsible at times. That was all.
> 
> I later made a comment about gluttony, because that is what I see on this thread. People posting pictures of food, and lusting over it - this on a thread, where it is most inappropriate.
> 
> And then for some reason people start saying I am a closet FA! And that my attitude is like this because I have insecurities about my own body, and that I got rejected by a big woman on a dating site.
> She never rejected me, it was her friend who posted her profile, and it was her friend who said she thinks I am unsuitable for her because I am too thin. That's ok with me, people are entitled to their opinion. No hard feelings. And I am not a closet FA either, I mean, it is true that I no longer announce to friends that I like big women, but that is only because on more than one occasion during conversation someone has remarked that I would not be able to handle a big woman in the bedroom, and so I just don't want these kind of comments again, and so I just keep quiet, but this does not mean I am a closet FA, not at all.
> 
> I think some of the fat people on this forum really need to get off their high horse and start treating others with different opinions with respect, instead of getting all "militant".





If it would make you feel any better...and that is what we are here for, especially fat women.......if a non-non-fat person came in here spewing what you did, they would get the same treatment.

See, a majority of thinnies who post here ( not going to say it is a huge majority ) are not looking to tell fat people what we should or should not do, and try and make it seem they are ' concerned ' ( which is one of the biggest mindfucks ever created ). They do not hide behind their own self-hatred, while demanding that the fat folks are always here for them...mind...body...soul. 

A different opinion is not what you placed on this doorstep. You were not looking for a conversation. You are disgusted by fat women eating certain foods in public, because you want what you lust after to remain a dirty little secret as much as possible. You know that most fat women will have to leave their homes at least every once in a while ( thanks for that allowance ), but you no longer talk about how much you like fat with those around you, because the fat just doesn't behave in public the way it should, and you do not want to get slimed, by association, with the disgusting fattyfatfat behavior, like consuming food on trains, planes, and on top of automobiles.

Every human has issues..but...buddy...you have *ISSUES*.

Gluttony and food pictures? I would tell you where to go if it wouldn't get me banned. You start threads to gorge on the words of fat women. You want to stuff in your face and your brain, the images of fatfatfatfat...and you have the fucking nerve to zero in on food.

Yeah...no flashing yellow lights signaling fat hate there....nope.


I think fat people should give you, and continue to give you, exactly what you deserve. Again, I hope more fat women on this board will go the kind of militant you would most hate, and that is to not feed, with any sincerity and generosity, any thread you start where you want information from them...about them

Now...how many fingers am I holding up.


----------



## Fat Brian

thinguyforbbw said:


> I'm not really going to go around trying to say what I was trying to say, because there are certainly fat people on this forum who seem to have a hatred for anyone who is non-fat and will just be abusive without seeing my point of view. I appreciate that fat people have suffered a lot of abuse, but this is no reason for them to then start getting "militant" against non-fat people.
> My simple concern was that until the time that society has been better educated, maybe fat people ought to consider being responsible at times. That was all.
> 
> I later made a comment about gluttony, because that is what I see on this thread. People posting pictures of food, and lusting over it - this on a thread, where it is most inappropriate.





I think its about time we do get militant about it. No ones mind will be changed if we stay in the shadows, thinking that we are hiding in plain sight. We as fat people have as much right to exist and do the things necessary to live in this world as anyone else. You saw a microscopic part of this womans life and you are projecting all of this negativity on her, your mindset is what we struggle against.

Also, after ten pages threads tend to derail, but it good to know you found their playful foodtalk disturbing. Its good to know that your food issues extend to not only personal experiences but also to invisible web people.


----------



## disconnectedsmile

Fat Brian said:


> I think its about time we do get militant about it. No ones mind will be changed if we stay in the shadows, thinking that we are hiding in plain sight. We as fat people have as much right to exist and do the things necessary to live in this world as anyone else. You saw a microscopic part of this womans life and you are projecting all of this negativity on her, your mindset is what we struggle against.
> 
> Also, after ten pages threads tend to derail, but it good to know you found their playful foodtalk disturbing. Its good to know that your food issues extend to not only personal experiences but also to invisible web people.



You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Fat Brian again. :doh:


----------



## Fat Brian

disconnectedsmile said:


> You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Fat Brian again. :doh:




Thanks anyway.


----------



## missy_blue_eyez

thinguyforbbw said:


> I'm not really going to go around trying to say what I was trying to say, because there are certainly fat people on this forum who seem to have a hatred for anyone who is non-fat and will just be abusive without seeing my point of view. I appreciate that fat people have suffered a lot of abuse, but this is no reason for them to then start getting "militant" against non-fat people.
> My simple concern was that until the time that society has been better educated, maybe fat people ought to consider being responsible at times. That was all.
> 
> *I later made a comment about gluttony, because that is what I see on this thread. People posting pictures of food, and lusting over it - this on a thread, where it is most inappropriate.*
> 
> And then for some reason people start saying I am a closet FA! And that my attitude is like this because I have insecurities about my own body, and that I got rejected by a big woman on a dating site.
> She never rejected me, it was her friend who posted her profile, and it was her friend who said she thinks I am unsuitable for her because I am too thin. That's ok with me, people are entitled to their opinion. No hard feelings. And I am not a closet FA either, I mean, it is true that I no longer announce to friends that I like big women, but that is only because on more than one occasion during conversation someone has remarked that I would not be able to handle a big woman in the bedroom, and so I just don't want these kind of comments again, and so I just keep quiet, but this does not mean I am a closet FA, not at all.
> 
> I think some of the fat people on this forum really need to get off their high horse and start treating others with different opinions with respect, instead of getting all "militant".



See now I am rather confused by your initial opening thread, because as far as the issue was concerned you were condemning fat women for eating on public transport, but now from the above bolded line, it seems that your issue is with gluttony and fat women eating at all....I have to ask you though, it seems you are utterly turned off by the prospect of fat women engaging in something which, for the majority of us lead us to become fat women in the first place, the so called beings in which you would have us believe you lust after, but instead you berate them for their lifestyle online? Please understand this OP, FAT GIRLS EAT!!!! And if you dont like that fact, then I suggest in investing in a blow up fatty or something that way she wont utterly disgrace you with her eating habituals.......

But in all honesty, your words absolutely wreak of your own dirty issues with food, not anyone elses, not societies, not anyones, but your own....if food is a dirty subject with you, then believe me, your in the wrong place and please stay away from the fat girls!


----------



## thinguyforbbw

missy_blue_eyez said:


> See now I am rather confused by your initial opening thread, because as far as the issue was concerned you were condemning fat women for eating on public transport, but now from the above bolded line, it seems that your issue is with gluttony and fat women eating at all....I have to ask you though, it seems you are utterly turned off by the prospect of fat women engaging in something which, for the majority of us lead us to become fat women in the first place, the so called beings in which you would have us believe you lust after, but instead you berate them for their lifestyle online? Please understand this OP, FAT GIRLS EAT!!!! And if you dont like that fact, then I suggest in investing in a blow up fatty or something that way she wont utterly disgrace you with her eating habituals.......
> 
> But in all honesty, your words absolutely wreak of your own dirty issues with food, not anyone elses, not societies, not anyones, but your own....if food is a dirty subject with you, then believe me, your in the wrong place and please stay away from the fat girls!



As I said before, I have NO problem with fat people eating. They have every right to enjoy it as much as the rest of us.
But overstuffing yourself? I have a problem with that, no matter who the person is, fat or thin. And on these forums I see gluttony by fat people as if it almost a backlash against society, and this cannot be good.

Have you ever stopped to think of the fat woman who is not gluttoness and who hates people stereotyping her as some fat woman who stuffs her face? Have you ever stopped to think how much she might want to get rid of this reputation? Have you ever stopped to think how your behaviour might be giving negative stereotypes that she wants to fight again. THIS is where the responsibility comes in. We cannot just think of ourselves, we have to think of others as well.


----------



## CastingPearls

OP doesn't need to be hanging around DIMS or ogling fat girls. 
OP needs to be sitting in a therapist's office waiting for his appointment.


----------



## D_A_Bunny

You know, my bff's husband is Polish. I have known him for thirty years. Sometimes he just says and does the stupidest things. I try to tell him...

that I love him no matter what and that it isn't my place to judge.


----------



## mossystate

thinguyforbbw said:


> QUOTE]
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Eat me.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> .................


----------



## CastingPearls

D_A_Bunny said:


> You know, my bff's husband is Polish. I have known him for thirty years. Sometimes he just says and does the stupidest things. I try to tell him...
> 
> that I love him no matter what and that it isn't my place to judge.


Naprawd&#281; nie chc&#281; zaczyna&#263; gówno z t&#322;uszczu przemocy kobiet polskich, którzy jedz&#261; na transport publiczny, prawda?


----------



## Fat Brian

thinguyforbbw said:


> As I said before, I have NO problem with fat people eating. They have every right to enjoy it as much as the rest of us.
> But overstuffing yourself? I have a problem with that, no matter who the person is, fat or thin. And on these forums I see gluttony by fat people as if it almost a backlash against society, and this cannot be good.



We celebrate eating here. Its like a right or something.


----------



## disconnectedsmile

thinguyforbbw said:


> As I said before, I have NO problem with fat people eating. They have every right to enjoy it as much as the rest of us.
> But overstuffing yourself? I have a problem with that, no matter who the person is, fat or thin. And on these forums I see gluttony by fat people as if it almost a backlash against society, and this cannot be good.
> 
> Have you ever stopped to think of the fat woman who is not gluttoness and who hates people stereotyping her as some fat woman who stuffs her face? Have you ever stopped to think how much she might want to get rid of this reputation? Have you ever stopped to think how your behaviour might be giving negative stereotypes that she wants to fight again. THIS is where the responsibility comes in. We cannot just think of ourselves, we have to think of others as well.


really love how you pick and choose what responses you quote and reply to.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

disconnectedsmile said:


> really love how you pick and choose what responses you quote and reply to.



I reply to everyone, I just tend to ignore those who I think are simply looking for a fight.


----------



## D_A_Bunny

CastingPearls said:


> Naprawd&#281; nie chc&#281; zaczyna&#263; gówno z t&#322;uszczu przemocy kobiet polskich, którzy jedz&#261; na transport publiczny, prawda?



Please translate. I don't know how.


----------



## mossystate

thinguyforbbw said:


> I reply to everyone, I just tend to ignore those who I think are simply looking for a fight.



What's on the dinner table tonight.


* puts up her dukes *


Post 11, 000 is coming up!!! Oh god.....11, 000.....I feel slightly ill. lol


----------



## missy_blue_eyez

thinguyforbbw said:


> As I said before, I have NO problem with fat people eating. They have every right to enjoy it as much as the rest of us.
> But overstuffing yourself? I have a problem with that, no matter who the person is, fat or thin. And on these forums I see gluttony by fat people as if it almost a backlash against society, and this cannot be good.
> 
> *Have you ever stopped to think of the fat woman who is not gluttoness and who hates people stereotyping her as some fat woman who stuffs her face? Have you ever stopped to think how much she might want to get rid of this reputation? Have you ever stopped to think how your behaviour might be giving negative stereotypes that she wants to fight again. THIS is where the responsibility comes in. We cannot just think of ourselves, we have to think of others as well*.



Ahhhh so we do have an opening of the real issue, its not about fat women eating in public at all, its about your opposition to gluttony and what you feel is disgusting behaviour....which is what we all said all along...YOUR ISSUES DUDE!!!

Have you ever stopped to think of the fat women who are increasingly infuriated by beeing tarred with the brush you throw around....? Us, its us you are tarring, do you realise this? It is us you are stereotyping with your statements of gluttonous behaviour, you are the one still pertaining to go along with said 'stereotype' its us fat women here whom are trying to break the moulds...remember that...

Also, do you know me? Do you know that I secretly go home and stuff myself in retaliation of this so called 'society' you speak of? No you dont! I eat, I have to eat, we all eat regardless of you liking it or not...I have no issues with myself, or with food or with anyone else for that matter so your condemning of MY personal life is unfounded and unnecessary mate....believe me, the world needs more fat women like the ones whom have dared challenge you and your ridiculous notions....you want us to hide away, in our homes, swathering our fat layers with tent like garments, sitting around mercilessly pushing a lettuce leaf around a plate crying into our failed Atkin's diet routines...oh you'd love that! It sounds like you honestly believe we deserve to be chastised for engaging in food ever, at all! But then continue to uphold the fact that you love fat women.....



disconnectedsmile said:


> really love how you pick and choose what responses you quote and reply to.



I am also confused by this...why he chose to single out my posts I have no idea......


----------



## disconnectedsmile

thinguyforbbw said:


> I reply to everyone, I just tend to ignore those who I think are simply looking for a fight.


then... i am assuming you've not yet found a way to ignore yourself?


----------



## CastingPearls

D_A_Bunny said:


> Please translate. I don't know how.


Basically, making stereotypical comments about any ethnic group is just as repugnant, ignorant and offensive as making stereotypical comments about fat women.
People are people.


----------



## indy500tchr

thinguyforbbw said:


> As I said before, I have NO problem with fat people eating. They have every right to enjoy it as much as the rest of us.
> But overstuffing yourself? I have a problem with that, no matter who the person is, fat or thin. *I didn't realize that croissants were so HUGE that it would be deemed gluttonous. * And on these forums I see gluttony by fat people as if it almost a backlash against society, and this cannot be good. *Apparently you have no idea why some parts of DIMS exists. Thanks for judging! *
> 
> Have you ever stopped to think of the fat woman who is not gluttoness and who hates people stereotyping her as some fat woman who stuffs her face? *Yes but I don't judge them...YOU do.*Have you ever stopped to think how much she might want to get rid of this reputation? *Yes but it is people like YOU who continue this "reputation"*Have you ever stopped to think how your behaviour might be giving negative stereotypes that she wants to fight again. *the "your" in this question is way too much of a blanket statement because YOU are assuming that all the ladies on her act this way. Way to judge us...again!* THIS is where the responsibility comes in. We cannot just think of ourselves, we have to think of others as well.*First of all...YOU are not fat so you cannot place yourself in the collective category of "ourselves" since you are blaming the fat women for all the problems. Secondly, you have ONLY thought of YOURSELF in this situation b/c this behavior only seemed to affect YOU.*



Please I beg you...leave every fat woman who you come into contact with alone.


----------



## xysoseriousx

I guess I've never noticed people on the train eating. Will do now though.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

missy_blue_eyez said:


> I am also confused by this...why he chose to single out my posts I have no idea......



yours was the near to last post I read when going through this thread, and your post was also full of false allegations.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

xysoseriousx said:


> I guess I've never noticed people on the train eating. Will do now though.



after that incident, I decided I will notice too. Saw a thin woman eating, then a fat woman. I guess it might just average out over time, sadly, people will just remember the fat one and the cycle of negative stereotypes will start.


----------



## missy_blue_eyez

thinguyforbbw said:


> yours was the near to last post I read when going through this thread, and your post was also full of false allegations.



You wanna talk about false allegations?? Like someone else here said...'pot calling kettle' me thinks......


----------



## Fat Brian

thinguyforbbw said:


> after that incident, I decided I will notice too. A few days later I saw a thin woman eating. I thought, that's good. Then today I saw another fat woman eating. This time it was some healthy food, like some kind of Japanese dish. But then she was licking her fingers as she was eating the food, and this is exactly the kind of behaviour I think is wrong. But, to each their own.





Are you Catholic or Jewish ? You have an amount of self-hatred that is nearly unattainable without help of some kind ?


----------



## disconnectedsmile

thinguyforbbw said:


> after that incident, I decided I will notice too. A few days later I saw a thin woman eating. I thought, that's good. Then today I saw another fat woman eating. This time it was some healthy food, like some kind of Japanese dish. But then she was licking her fingers as she was eating the food, and this is exactly the kind of behaviour I think is wrong. But, to each their own.



JUST STOP, OKAY.
REALLY, JUST STOP.
i really don't think you're wanted or welcome here anymore.
JUST STOP.


----------



## mossystate

Oh...great.


We were hoping to make some progress not really and now we have to deal with the rarely seen, but always suspicious...... FINGER LICKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



But, to each their own.  That is my favorite line of yours like...ever! Is it ever OK for a fat woman to pass gas in her own home, as long as tells herself, " pardon me " ?




:blush:


----------



## Sweet Tooth

thinguyforbbw said:


> after that incident, I decided I will notice too. A few days later I saw a thin woman eating. I thought, that's good. Then today I saw another fat woman eating. This time it was some healthy food, like some kind of Japanese dish. But then she was licking her fingers as she was eating the food, and this is exactly the kind of behaviour I think is wrong. But, to each their own.



Are you f***ing kidding me???

Dude, you have some serious issues with women, eating, pleasure, basic human needs, what you conceive of as proper... and yet you put it on the people here as not knowing how to behave or control themselves or represent the community. 

Thank goodness we aren't judging all British FAs by YOU.

You're the one offended. Look away, move to another car, whatever. You're not the one who gets to tell people how to live their lives. You don't get to decide that all fat women should be role models. Sorry, but you just don't have this sort of power that you obviously wish you did. All you're doing is digging yourself a bigger hole.


----------



## CastingPearls

He is feeding off everyone's anger. This is as close to a fat woman he is ever going to get. And he loves the attention he's getting.


----------



## Fat Brian

mossystate said:


> Oh...great.
> 
> 
> We were hoping to make some progress not really and now we have to deal with the rarely seen, but always suspicious...... FINGER LICKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> 
> 
> But, to each their own.  That is my favorite line of yours like...ever! Is it ever OK for a fat woman to pass gas in her own home, as long as tells herself, " pardon me " ?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :blush:





You wasted your 11,000 post on that ? I was expecting more Shock and Awe.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

Sweet Tooth said:


> You're the one offended. Look away, move to another car, whatever. You're not the one who gets to tell people how to live their lives. You don't get to decide that all fat women should be role models. Sorry, but you just don't have this sort of power that you obviously wish you did. All you're doing is digging yourself a bigger hole.



I don't know how many times I have to say this, *I am not offended*. I could not care less if it was just her and me in the carriage and she was eating a whole pizza. It would not offend me. The only thing that bothers me is when others are there and the negative stereotype that others will think of, and the effect it will have on other fat people.


----------



## disconnectedsmile

thinguyforbbw said:


> I don't know how many times I have to say this, *I am not offended*. The only thing that bothers me...


YOU *JUST* DEFINED THE WORD "offended!!!!"


----------



## D_A_Bunny

CastingPearls said:


> Basically, making stereotypical comments about any ethnic group is just as repugnant, ignorant and offensive as making stereotypical comments about fat women.
> People are people.



I agree completely. I was attempting sarcastic humor. I suppose I failed. That is why I wrote in the white that I don't judge him, I only love him.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

CastingPearls said:


> He is feeding off everyone's anger. This is as close to a fat woman he is ever going to get. And he loves the attention he's getting.



ah, so now you're stereotyping that I won't be able to get a fat woman. Well, that's your opinion, and you are entitled to it.

As for getting attention from rude people, thanks, but not thanks. 

This is a size acceptance forum, not a fat persons forum. People of all sizes can come here and talk about issues in a mature, adult way. If some people are unable to discuss others viewpoint in a responsible manner, then they should just stay off the thread, in this way, everyone is happy.


----------



## indy500tchr

thinguyforbbw said:


> The only thing that bothers me is when others are there and the negative stereotype that others will think of, and the effect it will have on other fat people.



And how do you know it bothers THEM? Do you always care this much about what other people think of others? If you do then how the hell do you have time to think about anything else?


----------



## disconnectedsmile

thinguyforbbw said:


> If some people are unable to discuss others viewpoint in a responsible manner, then they should just stay off the thread, in this way, everyone is happy.



please, for the love of all that's good, you first.


----------



## mossystate

Fat Brian said:


> You wasted your 11,000 post on that ? I was expecting more Shock and Awe.





I had tacos for lunch.


















Exactly.


----------



## CastingPearls

D_A_Bunny said:


> I agree completely. I was attempting sarcastic humor. I suppose I failed. That is why I wrote in the white that I don't judge him, I only love him.


Seriously no problem. Forget it, please. OP's poison is just contaminating everything.


----------



## Sweet Tooth

thinguyforbbw said:


> I don't know how many times I have to say this, *I am not offended*. I could not care less if it was just her and me in the carriage and she was eating a whole pizza. It would not offend me. The only thing that bothers me is when others are there and the negative stereotype that others will think of, and the effect it will have on other fat people.



Um.... :doh:

You didn't specify whether there were other people in the car besides the two of you at the time. You said, and I quote, *"But then she was licking her fingers as she was eating the food, and this is exactly the kind of behaviour I think is wrong."*

This was NOTHING to do with whether or not she was an example for others. This has EVERYTHING to do with you wanting to dictate WHAT someone can eat, WHERE she can eat it, WITH WHOM it can be eaten (ie people around or not), HOW it can be eaten... you have some serious control issues.

You don't have to use the word "offended". Saying her behavior was wrong and having to bring it to a public forum for discussion screams that you are offended.


----------



## Fat Brian

thinguyforbbw said:


> This is a size acceptance forum, not a fat persons forum. People of all sizes can come here and talk about issues in a mature, adult way. If some people are unable to discuss others viewpoint in a responsible manner, then they should just stay off the thread, in this way, everyone is happy.




This forum isn't for everyone, it is for fat people and those who are attracted to them.


----------



## Fat Brian

mossystate said:


> I had tacos for lunch.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Exactly.





Hence the Gas-centric content ?


----------



## mossystate

thinguyforbbw said:


> ah, so now you're stereotyping that I won't be able to get a fat woman. Well, that's your opinion, and you are entitled to it.





Hey, I was the cashier at the hardware store you came to last week.

I can confirm that with all the stuff you bought, you will have a rather snazzy pit dug in your basement.



Need to know how to make a fat woman trap? You have a dog named Precious?

:blush:


----------



## thinguyforbbw

Fat Brian said:


> This forum isn't for everyone, it is for fat people and those who are attracted to them.



it;s a size acceptance forum. So people of all sizes can come here, surely.


----------



## CastingPearls

thinguyforbbw said:


> ah, so now you're stereotyping that I won't be able to get a fat woman. Well, that's your opinion, and you are entitled to it.
> 
> As for getting attention from rude people, thanks, but not thanks.
> 
> This is a size acceptance forum, not a fat persons forum. People of all sizes can come here and talk about issues in a mature, adult way. If some people are unable to discuss others viewpoint in a responsible manner, then they should just stay off the thread, in this way, everyone is happy.


Then follow your own advice and remove yourself where you're clearly unwelcome.

And you don't get to determine who should or shouldn't contribute to any thread but it is one more indicator of your control issues. 

Please, seek professional help.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

CastingPearls said:


> Then follow your own advice and remove yourself where you're clearly unwelcome.
> 
> And you don't get to determine who should or shouldn't contribute to any thread but it is one more indicator of your control issues.
> 
> Please, seek professional help.



I raise threads which are important to me. If someone does not like them, they do not have to read it. But just because you don't agree with what I feel and feel anger and hatred, it does not mean everyone else does too. Some people like to discuss stuff and listen to others viewpoint.


----------



## NYCGabriel

thinguyforbbw said:


> I raise threads which are important to me. If someone does not like them, they do not have to read it. But just because you don't agree with what I feel and feel anger and hatred, it does not mean everyone else does too. Some people like to discuss stuff and listen to others viewpoint.



:doh::doh::doh:
Heeeeee's baaaaaack.


----------



## Fat Brian

thinguyforbbw said:


> it;s a size acceptance forum. So people of all sizes can come here, surely.




No, not really. While we expect posters to know or be open to the ideals of SA this forum is more geared toward the appreciation aspect of fatness.


----------



## CastingPearls

thinguyforbbw said:


> I raise threads which are important to me. If someone does not like them, they do not have to read it. But just because you don't agree with what I feel and feel anger and hatred, it does not mean everyone else does too. Some people like to discuss stuff and listen to others viewpoint.


Anger and hatred? The only thing I feel for you is pity.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

CastingPearls said:


> Anger and hatred? The only thing I feel for you is pity.



And that is what I feel for people like you who decide to speak for all fat people. And on this note, I shall take another break till whenever, because I feel I raised the issues I felt I needed to, and hopefully some other fat people will actually think about them. At the end of the day, we all want size acceptance, some are realists, the others are militants full of venom.

adieu.


----------



## Blackjack

thinguyforbbw said:


> And that is what I feel for people like you who decide to speak for all fat people. And on this note, I shall take another break till whenever, because I feel I raised the issues I felt I needed to, and hopefully some other fat people will actually think about them. At the end of the day, we all want size acceptance, some are realists, the others are militants full of venom.
> 
> adieu.



In other words, "I got a shitstorm, my job is done, I'll troll you people again later."


----------



## mossystate

Nothing wrong with a little anger. Nothing at all.


----------



## Fat Brian

thinguyforbbw said:


> And that is what I feel for people like you who decide to speak for all fat people. And on this note, I shall take another break till whenever, because I feel I raised the issues I felt I needed to, and hopefully some other fat people will actually think about them. At the end of the day, we all want size acceptance, some are realists, the others are militants full of venom.
> 
> adieu.





Wankin' the WHOLE time !!


----------



## mossystate

Blackjack said:


> In other words, "I got a shitstorm, my job is done, I'll troll you people again later."



I kinda hope he comes back with another name. I want to experience my love for him all over again, as if it were new.:wubu:


----------



## indy500tchr

thinguyforbbw said:


> And that is what I feel for people like you who decide to speak for all fat people. *And on this note, I shall take another break till whenever,* because I feel I raised the issues I felt I needed to, and hopefully some other fat people will actually think about them. At the end of the day, we all want size acceptance, some are realists, the others are militants full of venom.
> 
> adieu.



Pinky swear?


----------



## Fat Brian

indy500tchr said:


> Pinky swear?




Do you really want to shun one of your fans ?


----------



## CastingPearls

indy500tchr said:


> Pinky swear?


He ran out of Kleenex.


----------



## Sweet Tooth

CastingPearls said:


> He ran out of Kleenex.



Ooooh, no no no... a proper English gentleman would've used a handkerchief. And, you know, he's nothing but proper.


----------



## indy500tchr

Fat Brian said:


> Do you really want to shun one of your fans ?




I don't have a penis so he doesn't really like me.


----------



## Fat Brian

indy500tchr said:


> I don't have a penis so he doesn't really like me.




He likes you, you just have to keep your mouth shut and not eat in front of anyone.


----------



## indy500tchr

Fat Brian said:


> He likes you, you just have to keep your mouth shut and not eat in front of anyone.



would that make me a closeted fat girl?


----------



## Sweet Tooth

indy500tchr said:


> would that make me a closeted fat girl?



Oh, if you didn't fit, I bet he'd like it better. LOL

When shall we put my plan into place?


----------



## jdsumm

OK Thinguy, for Pete's sake, your complaining about being the victim of hatred from militant fatties on this thread is just way over the top. You can't be serious. This isn't hatred you are experiencing, this is justifiable frustration and yes some anger. Sometimes anger is the appropriate response to things. Your strongly held position that some fat chick eating in public is being irresponsible because of stereotypes that are born out of hatred of fat and fat people is certainly worthy of some righteous anger, I'd say. I am a fairly quiet person around here so I don't know a lot of dims folks personally, but even I have read enough posts from many of the commentators to this thread to know that your accusation of militancy is absurd. I respect that you are free to have your own opinions, of course you are, but you have to understand that sometimes things are not shades of gray, sometimes things are just plain right or wrong. I think that your opinion that it is the responsibility of the fat person to alter their behavior because someone holds a fat-hate filled stereotype, seems to at least come pretty close to reaching the threshold of being clearly just...wrong. It is so very difficult to comprehend why you aren't grasping this...hence the justifiable frustration and anger. Just to make it clear, the irresponsibility lies 100% in the stereotype 0% on the fat chick eating. The fat-hating stereotype is the wrong. You suggesting that fat women submit their rights and freedom for the sake of appearances to promote size acceptance seems to be flawed thinking. It is utterly contrary to size acceptance as I understand it.


----------



## Fat Brian

indy500tchr said:


> would that make me a closeted fat girl?





I'm sure you wouldn't be the only thing in his closet. His closets have closets.


----------



## indy500tchr

Sweet Tooth said:


> Oh, if you didn't fit, I bet he'd like it better. LOL
> 
> When shall we put my plan into place?





I would start secretly dropping hints any moment now. I mean it's for the best really.


----------



## Sweet Tooth

indy500tchr said:


> I would start secretly dropping hints any moment now. I mean it's for the best really.



We'd need to get some rain gear for all the fatties there, though... don't know what sort of mess we'd be dealing with.


----------



## indy500tchr

Fat Brian said:


> I'm sure you wouldn't be the only thing in his closet. His closets have closets.





Eww I don't want to be in his closet. He can stay there all on his own. Plus I am claustrophobic so I need my space. I wonder if he thinks all fat women are like that b/c you know we are all the same.


----------



## indy500tchr

Sweet Tooth said:


> We'd need to get some rain gear for all the fatties there, though... don't know what sort of mess we'd be dealing with.




We might need to hire one of those guys who walks behind horses in parades to pick up their poop with the giant bucket and shovel.


----------



## Fat Brian

indy500tchr said:


> Eww I don't want to be in his closet. He can stay there all on his own. Plus I am claustrophobic so I need my space. I wonder if he thinks all fat women are like that b/c you know we are all the same.





He doesn't actually THINK about much, his wiener seems to make most of his decisions.


----------



## Sweet Tooth

indy500tchr said:


> We might need to hire one of those guys who walks behind horses in parades to pick up their poop with the giant bucket and shovel.




ROFL

OMG, you almost made me choke.


----------



## Paquito

:kiss2:

Use them however you deem necessary, like planting them on my public-eating ass.


----------



## Sweet Tooth

Okay, for those of you who want to be in on the plan....

I'm thinking [work with me here]... a common eating locale at the NJ Bash... rope... chair... mass quantities... lots of fatties....

Anyone in?


----------



## indy500tchr

Sweet Tooth said:


> Okay, for those of you who want to be in on the plan....
> 
> I'm thinking [work with me here]... a common eating locale at the NJ Bash... rope... chair... mass quantities... lots of fatties....
> 
> Anyone in?



If I'm going I totally get to tie the rope!


----------



## Sweet Tooth

indy500tchr said:


> If I'm going I totally get to tie the rope!



I'll get you a copy of the Boy Scout Handbook so you can practice your knots.

Perhaps I'll get some really super-sticky duct tape, too, for particularly hairy parts. Just saying...


----------



## D_A_Bunny

CastingPearls said:


> Seriously no problem. Forget it, please. OP's poison is just contaminating everything.



No problem here either. All is forgotten.


----------



## indy500tchr

Sweet Tooth said:


> I'll get you a copy of the Boy Scout Handbook so you can practice your knots.
> 
> Perhaps I'll get some really super-sticky duct tape, too, for particularly hairy parts. Just saying...



ooooh yes! bring on the pain!


----------



## cinnamitch

indy500tchr said:


> Pinky swear?



Don't say pinky, it gives him issues ( know what i mean?)


----------



## tonynyc

All this talk of croissants - perfect way to spend the weekend - dig into a basket of these goodies with cup of coffee... :happy:


----------



## jenboo

thinguyforbbw said:


> it;s a size acceptance forum. So people of all sizes can come here, surely.



It is actually not a size acceptance forum. As fat Brian said it is for fat people and their admirers.


----------



## jenboo

CastingPearls said:


> Then follow your own advice and remove yourself where you're clearly unwelcome.
> 
> And you don't get to determine who should or shouldn't contribute to any thread but it is one more indicator of your control issues.
> 
> Please, seek professional help.




I dont think that this is overly appropriate. The OP has some interesting viewpoints, and ones that I do not agree with, but how does it equate with needing professional help?


----------



## CastingPearls

jenboo said:


> [/COLOR]
> 
> I dont think that this is overly appropriate. The OP has some interesting viewpoints, and ones that I do not agree with, but how does it equate with needing professional help?


I said please and you are certainly entitled to your opinion.


----------



## Fat.n.sassy

Blackjack said:


> In other words, "I got a shitstorm, my job is done, I'll troll you people again later."



THANK YOU for the laugh BlackJack, I had a long day! LOLOL!


----------



## tonynyc

jenboo said:


> [/COLOR]
> 
> I dont think that this is overly appropriate. The OP has some interesting viewpoints, and ones that I do not agree with, but how does it equate with needing professional help?



*Well... the OP having common sense would be a good start... *







* Scones Anyone ??? *


----------



## msbard90

thinguyforbbw said:


> Have you ever stopped to think of the fat woman who is not gluttoness and who hates people stereotyping her as some fat woman who stuffs her face? Have you ever stopped to think how much she might want to get rid of this reputation? Have you ever stopped to think how your behaviour might be giving negative stereotypes that she wants to fight again. THIS is where the responsibility comes in. We cannot just think of ourselves, we have to think of others as well.



This is one of the most ridiculous pieces I have ever read in my life. My concern whether eating in public is going to influence a stranger's reputation is next to none.


----------



## Fat Brian

I've always wondered what the strange looks were about when I pulled my double Quarter-Pounder open and rubbed it on my erect nipples. Now I realize they thought I was a glutton.


----------



## msbard90

Fat Brian said:


> I've always wondered what the strange looks were about when I pulled my double Quarter-Pounder open and rubbed it on my erect nipples. Now I realize they thought I was a glutton.



Oh my god! Now just from looking at you, whoever looked at you do that will now be stereotyped as fatties who rub burgers on their nipples!!!! How inconsiderate of you!


----------



## Fat Brian

Thats just how I roll.


----------



## Inhibited

I ate on the train on Friday was so hungry, just like anyone else if i'm hungry i will eat i don't think about it, am not constantly aware that i'm fat and i really don't care what other ppl think, if they want to think of me as a sterotype thats ok i know how much i eat and exercise i don't have anything to prove to anyone...


----------



## Blackjack

Fat Brian said:


> Thats just how I roll.



That's how you have rolls.


----------



## Fat Brian

Inhibited said:


> I ate on the train on Friday was so hungry, just like anyone else if i'm hungry i will eat i don't think about it, am not constantly aware that i'm fat and i really don't care what other ppl think, if they want to think of me as a sterotype thats ok i know how much i eat and exercise i don't have anything to prove to anyone...





Thats the point I was trying to make to the OP, he only saw one activity on one day of this womans life. He doesn't know where she was going or where she had been or anything else about her but feels he knows everything about her. It really is about control for him.


----------



## Fat Brian

Blackjack said:


> That's how you have rolls.





That among other things.


----------



## tonynyc

And for those of us who take Mass Transit on a daily basis- this is a picture of the typical morning commute - depending on the weather- you have to deal with packed trains, hot/cold subway stations, pushy commuters.

I'm sure folks are wrapped up in their own world and could care less about what some "stranger" think ...

"Wonder if that slim lady is worried about someone seeing her sip that Starbuck's coffee"


----------



## imfree

tonynyc said:


> And for those of us who take Mass Transit on a daily basis- this is a picture of the typical morning commute - depending on the weather- you have to deal with packed trains, hot/cold subway stations, pushy commuters.
> 
> I'm sure folks are wrapped up in their own world and could care less about what some "stranger" think ...
> 
> "Wonder if that slim lady is worried about someone seeing her sip that Starbuck's coffee"



Naw, but the fat-haters are thinking that EVERYONE
should live on cigarettes and coffee like that slim
lady!:doh:


----------



## tonynyc

imfree said:


> Naw, but the fat-haters are thinking that EVERYONE
> should live on cigarettes and coffee like that slim
> lady!:doh:



Yes ... and for those dimmers that do enjoy a smoke - hide your packs


----------



## LillyBBBW

tonynyc said:


> And for those of us who take Mass Transit on a daily basis- this is a picture of the typical morning commute - depending on the weather- you have to deal with packed trains, hot/cold subway stations, pushy commuters.
> 
> I'm sure folks are wrapped up in their own world and could care less about what some "stranger" think ...
> 
> "Wonder if that slim lady is worried about someone seeing her sip that Starbuck's coffee"



I'm too busy being shocked at how narrow that staircase is. No one would be able to go up or down while I'm busy careening down them with my bags slung over my forearm. I would probably have a scone and a cup of joe in my other hand as well.


----------



## tonynyc

LillyBBBW said:


> I'm too busy being shocked at how narrow that staircase is. No one would be able to go up or down while I'm busy careening down them with my bags slung over my forearm. I would probably have a scone and a cup of joe in my other hand as well.



I can see you navigating through this "sea of morning humanity" with no problems- heck your wonderful biceps would be parting the crowd like the Red Sea :bow:

And as for the Subway Station - i think it's the 72nd Street Station on the Westside and yes the staircase is narrow ( station was built in 1904);but, thankfully they have modernize other parts of the subway enterances with wider access...


----------



## Inhibited

Fat Brian said:


> Thats the point I was trying to make to the OP, he only saw one activity on one day of this womans life. He doesn't know where she was going or where she had been or anything else about her but feels he knows everything about her. It really is about control for him.



Ahh sorry i started reading the first couple of posts but there were to many to continue...


----------



## calauria

I'm gonna eat a croissant, on a train, next to thingguy, making orgasmic sounds!!


His pants will explode, ya think??


----------



## chicken legs

I liken the OP's original post to disliking stereotypes of certain cultures. Every culture has to fight against negative stereotypes from time to time. Currently the folks under fire are immigrants and fat people. I'm the heaviest I've ever been and personally feel the effects of the negative stereotypes of fat people. I feel like I have to be constantly on point not to get judged negatively. People automatically assume I'm a lazy greedy pig and unless I express what happened and damn near produce medical records to prove it I'm assed out (aka screwed). I also feel it for being FA because they think I'm some retarded gimp for being attracted to big people. Then I have to produce a scientific journal on why its ok to be attracted to big folks. Right now the media is having a field day when it comes to taking jabs at overweight people. I have a feeling it might be in the fat culture's best interest to mind our P's and Q's but still fight against these negative stereotypes. The propaganda machine is using fat people as a whipping boy to push "health care" reforms so we won't notice what a shitty job our governments have been doing when it comes to our food supply and that we are on the cusp of some sort of revolution.

Sorry for the rant but I've been reading articles on the effects of this issue.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

indy500tchr said:


> Pinky swear?



actually, I was thinking, why should I have to worry about offending anyone? Why should I have to take a break so as the mood does not sour? After all, I am not saying anything "wrong", I am not someone who hates fat people, on the contrary, I want people to like fat people because I hate the way they are treated by society.
So, I will post on topics I feel are important to me, and if anyone does not like it or does not agree with it, simply *do not read the thread and reply*!


----------



## thinguyforbbw

jdsumm said:


> The fat-hating stereotype is the wrong. You suggesting that fat women submit their rights and freedom for the sake of appearances to promote size acceptance seems to be flawed thinking. It is utterly contrary to size acceptance as I understand it.



of course it is wrong. I agree 100%. I have never debated that.

but at the same time, until the fat community can actually start changing the perception of non-fat people through education, then I believe it is their responsibility to just try and use other means of trying to change perception, and this includes being more responsible.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

msbard90 said:


> This is one of the most ridiculous pieces I have ever read in my life. My concern whether eating in public is going to influence a stranger's reputation is next to none.



that in my opinion is selfishness. but, to each their own.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

chicken legs said:


> I liken the OP's original post to disliking stereotypes of certain cultures. Every culture has to fight against negative stereotypes from time to time. Currently the folks under fire are immigrants and fat people. I'm the heaviest I've ever been and personally feel the effects of the negative stereotypes of fat people. I feel like I have to be constantly on point not to get judged negatively. People automatically assume I'm a lazy greedy pig and unless I express what happened and damn near produce medical records to prove it I'm assed out (aka screwed).



exactly what I am talking about. I know a lot of people who say fat people are lazy and greedy. This is why I am for fat people being more responsible. Some people might not care being labelled as lazy and greedy, but I know other fat people do.


----------



## MissStacie

thinguyforbbw said:


> of course it is wrong. I agree 100%. I have never debated that.
> 
> but at the same time, until the fat community can actually start changing the perception of non-fat people through education, then I believe it is their responsibility to just try and use other means of trying to change perception, and this includes being more responsible.




It must also mean staying in our homes, with the curtains pulled and the door to the fridge locked and not coming out in the daylight hours, too.

Come on...can you REALLY believe that what you are saying is right? We change peoples' perceptions on a daily basis by JUST BEING FAT AND PROUD. Yes, this means having great jobs, getting married to attractive partners, having babies, eating in public, being celebrities and just showing this "society" that you are so hung up on that we, too, are HUMAN BEINGS and live just like YOU do.

Seriously...we don't have to do more than that, but you, OTOH, need to do some serious soul searching and find out what is your deal because I have a feeling that you've got more issues than you think you do.

Good luck with that.


----------



## Inhibited

thinguyforbbw said:


> exactly what I am talking about. I know a lot of people who say fat people are lazy and greedy. This is why I am for fat people being more responsible. Some people might not care being labelled as lazy and greedy, but I know other fat people do.



You may have already answered this but there are to many posts to read..
Do you have a GF? if so do you take her out for dinner to eat in public? am not judging you am just curious..


----------



## thinguyforbbw

MissStacie said:


> It must also mean staying in our homes, with the curtains pulled and the door to the fridge locked and not coming out in the daylight hours, too.



of course fat people SHOULD be out, of course they SHOULD wear clothes that are sexy and can show their body. This stuff is actually good, because the more they're out and about, they more people see them, and then the more POSITIVE stereotypes people will have about them.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

Inhibited said:


> You may have already answered this but there are to many posts to read..
> Do you have a GF? if so do you take her out for dinner to eat in public? am not judging you am just curious..



nah, I'm single, still looking for my fattie! lol

If I had a fat gf, would I take her out to dinner. Of course I would. A fat person eating in a restaurant is not being irresponsible, because that is what restaurants are for, EATING.

About her eating on the train, I cannot control what she does or does not do, but I would probably slip a high energy drink in her handbag so that was she to feel hungry on the train, she could simply have her drink - of course, if she still decided to eat, then there is nothing I can do about that except point out that her actions might be having a negative effect on the image of other fat people.


----------



## littlefairywren

thinguyforbbw said:


> of course fat people SHOULD be out, of course *they SHOULD wear clothes that are sexy and can show their body*. This stuff is actually good, because the more they're out and about, they more people see them, and then the more POSITIVE stereotypes people will have about them.



I don't know if someone has already said this, but I will say it anyway. So there *you* are on the bus/train, judging someone munching on a croissant, and thinking she should wait till she gets home to do so....just in case she keeps up the stereotypes created by judgemental morons about fat people.

But consider this. Sitting behind you on that bus/train is another person maybe thinking to themselves, how can she sit there wearing a sleeveless top, or tight clothes. And they are also thinking she should wait to get home before she lets it "all hang out."

Maybe it is just better to keep your opinions to yourself, and just live and let live.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

littlefairywren said:


> I don't know if someone has already said this, but I will say it anyway. So there *you* are on the bus/train, judging someone munching on a croissant, and thinking she should wait till she gets home to do so....just in case she keeps up the stereotypes created by judgemental morons about fat people.
> 
> But consider this. Sitting behind you on that bus/train is another person maybe thinking to themselves, how can she sit there wearing a sleeveless top, or tight clothes. And they are also thinking she should wait to get home before she lets it "all hang out."
> 
> Maybe it is just better to keep your opinions to yourself, and just live and let live.



there is a difference. A fat person wearing clothes that show their body is not being irresponsible. They're not giving off any negative stereotypes. In fact, they're giving off a positive image.


----------



## LoveBHMS

I suspect the OP's issue is simply a matter of inexperience.

ThinguyforBBW, this is _strictly_ a guess i'm making based on reading your posts. It seems as though you do not have a lot of experience with women, and may not be intimately acquainted with a lot of them.

You mentioned telling your friend you liked fat women and being mocked and told you "couldn't handle one" in the bedroom. For somebody with his own body issues that would be hurtful. I mean they took an insecurity you had about your own build and used it as "proof" that you could not "handle" a BBW or SSBBW. It's a crappy thing for a friend to say, BUT i suspect it would have been easier to just toss it off if you had in fact had a history of being with them. You could easily have thought, or even said something like "Well I've been with X number of women and they've seemed satisfied with how I handled them so fuck off."

The other problem is you seem to see fat women as monolithic. They're not all one way or another. It's entirely possible the woman you saw is in fact a greedy junk food junkie who never stops eating. It's also possible she eats healthfully most of the time and was just treating herself. Some fat women are militant jerks and some are not. You seem to continually have these generalizations about fat women, and i honestly think if you'd actually been around them more, you would not think that way. 

If you knew 100 fat women you'd see some eat junk food, some not, some wear high heels, some not, some be angry millitant jerks and some be quiet and even tempered. I feel like you'd make a LOT fewer generalizations.


----------



## MissStacie

thinguyforbbw said:


> nah, I'm single, still looking for my fattie! lol
> 
> If I had a fat gf, would I take her out to dinner. Of course I would. A fat person eating in a restaurant is not being irresponsible, because that is what restaurants are for, EATING.
> 
> About her eating on the train, I cannot control what she does or does not do, but I would probably *slip a high energy drink in her handbag so that was she to feel hungry on the train, she could simply have her drink* - of course, if she still decided to eat, then there is nothing I can do about that except point out that her actions might be having a negative effect on the image of other fat people.




Suuuuuurre....give her something that has an upper in it so that she could have heart palpatations but not eat??? 

Swell...


----------



## thinguyforbbw

LoveBHMS said:


> I suspect the OP's issue is simply a matter of inexperience.



It is true that I have no fat friends. I have a couple of colleagues who are overweight, but know no one who is basically "fat". So, in that sense, yes, maybe I do make a lot of generalisations about fat people.


----------



## littlefairywren

thinguyforbbw said:


> there is a difference. A fat person wearing clothes that show their body is not being irresponsible. They're not giving off any negative stereotypes. In fact, they're giving off a positive image.



That is a load of garbage! You only say that because you happen to like looking at a fat woman (as long as she isn't feeding her face in public). 

You just don't get it, do you?


----------



## MissStacie

thinguyforbbw said:


> It is true that I have no fat friends. I have a couple of colleagues who are overweight, but know no one who is basically "fat". So, in that sense, yes, maybe I do make a lot of generalisations about fat people.



Ya think?


----------



## thinguyforbbw

littlefairywren said:


> That is a load of garbage! You only say that because you happen to like looking at a fat woman (as long as she isn't feeding her face in public).
> 
> You just don't get it, do you?



I wouldn't say seeing a fat bloke showing off fat is something I particularly like, but I still think fat guys should wear what they want to wear.

I don't think the views of most fat people on this forum regarding responsibility is representative of all fat people. The fat people who are here are those who are generally comfortable with being fat or happy with being fat. Therefore, to them, negative stereotypes do not matter, for they simply do not care.

However, other fat people might not be happy or comfortable with being fat, and to them stereotypes might matter.

Anyway, on this particular subject matter, I think I have explained my take, and don't really have much else to say. If you happen to not agree with me, fine, I cannot make you act more responsibly, I can only suggest.


----------



## joswitch

thinguyforbbw said:


> As I said before, I have NO problem with fat people eating. They have every right to enjoy it as much as the rest of us.
> But overstuffing yourself? I have a problem with that, no matter who the person is, fat or thin. And on these forums I see gluttony by fat people as if it almost a backlash against society, and this cannot be good.
> 
> Have you ever stopped to think of the fat woman who is not gluttoness and who hates people stereotyping her as some fat woman who stuffs her face? Have you ever stopped to think how much she might want to get rid of this reputation? Have you ever stopped to think how your behaviour might be giving negative stereotypes that she wants to fight again. THIS is where the responsibility comes in. We cannot just think of ourselves, we have to think of others as well.



That last line is beyond irony and well into hypocrisy.
Have YOU ever stopped?... Trolling, that is.
Yo, mods, how about banning this fatphobe?
Enough already!


----------



## littlefairywren

thinguyforbbw said:


> I wouldn't say seeing a fat bloke showing off fat is something I particularly like, but I still think fat guys should wear what they want to wear.
> 
> I don't think the views of most fat people on this forum regarding responsibility is representative of all fat people. The fat people who are here are those who are generally comfortable with being fat or happy with being fat. Therefore, to them, negative stereotypes do not matter, for they simply do not care.
> 
> However, other fat people might not be happy or comfortable with being fat, and to them stereotypes might matter.
> 
> Anyway, on this particular subject matter, I think I have explained my take, and don't really have much else to say. If you happen to not agree with me, fine, I cannot make you act more responsibly, I can only suggest.



I don't really agree with anything you think, or say, for that matter. That is neither here, nor there. This is a public forum, so you get that a lot.

Btw, did you just imply that I was irresponsible? Or was that a general, you?

Have you ever heard the phrase "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar?"


----------



## thinguyforbbw

joswitch said:


> That last line is beyond irony and well into hypocrisy.
> Have YOU ever stopped?... Trolling, that is.
> Yo, mods, how about banning this fatphobe?
> Enough already!



Maybe because you're not as important as you like to think you are? Maybe because some people actually have the intelligence to know that just because someone does not have the same view as themselves, it does not mean they're a troll or fatphobe?
I mean, dude, I am not here to satisfy your narcissism, if I feel I have a topic which matters to me, I will discuss it, and if you don't like it, then ... tough.


----------



## joswitch

> missyblueyes:
> 
> 
> I am also confused by this...why he chose to single out my posts I have no idea......



I suspect the OP only replies to BBWs, cos HIS FETISH IS ANGRY FAT WOMEN - this thread is his personal pron...


----------



## thinguyforbbw

littlefairywren said:


> Btw, did you just imply that I was irresponsible? Or was that a general, you?



gereral, not you specifically.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

joswitch said:


> I suspect the OP only replies to BBWs, cos HIS FETISH IS ANGRY FAT WOMEN - this thread is his personal pron...



makes you look like a bit of a fool considering the post just above (or above that) is a reply to you


----------



## joswitch

thinguyforbbw said:


> nah, I'm single, still looking for my fattie! lol
> 
> If I had a fat gf, would I take her out to dinner. Of course I would. A fat person eating in a restaurant is not being irresponsible, because that is what restaurants are for, EATING.
> 
> About her eating on the train, I cannot control what she does or does not do, but I would probably slip a high energy drink in her handbag so that was she to feel hungry on the train, she could simply have her drink - of course, if she still decided to eat, then there is nothing I can do about that except point out that her actions might be having a negative effect on the image of other fat people.




ladies - form an orderly que, please - no pushing and shoving...


----------



## joswitch

LoveBHMS said:


> I suspect the OP's issue is simply a matter of inexperience.
> 
> ThinguyforBBW, this is _strictly_ a guess i'm making based on reading your posts. It seems as though you do not have a lot of experience with women, and may not be intimately acquainted with a lot of them.
> 
> You mentioned telling your friend you liked fat women and being mocked and told you "couldn't handle one" in the bedroom. For somebody with his own body issues that would be hurtful. I mean they took an insecurity you had about your own build and used it as "proof" that you could not "handle" a BBW or SSBBW. It's a crappy thing for a friend to say, BUT i suspect it would have been easier to just toss it off if you had in fact had a history of being with them. You could easily have thought, or even said something like "Well I've been with X number of women and they've seemed satisfied with how I handled them so fuck off."
> 
> The other problem is you seem to see fat women as monolithic. They're not all one way or another. It's entirely possible the woman you saw is in fact a greedy junk food junkie who never stops eating. It's also possible she eats healthfully most of the time and was just treating herself. Some fat women are militant jerks and some are not. You seem to continually have these generalizations about fat women, and i honestly think if you'd actually been around them more, you would not think that way.
> 
> If you knew 100 fat women you'd see some eat junk food, some not, some wear high heels, some not, some be angry millitant jerks and some be quiet and even tempered. I feel like you'd make a LOT fewer generalizations.



No, I'm pretty sure if HE knew 100 fat women they'd be angry - at him. That wouldn't, of course, make THEM "jerks"... Just smart...


----------



## joswitch

thinguyforbbw said:


> Maybe because you're not as important as you like to think you are? Maybe because some people actually have the intelligence to know that just because someone does not have the same view as themselves, it does not mean they're a troll or fatphobe?
> I mean, dude, I am not here to satisfy your narcissism, if I feel I have a topic which matters to me, I will discuss it, and if you don't like it, then ... tough.



Hahahaha - "narcissism" - there you go with your projecting again... Troll.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

joswitch said:


> Hahahaha - "narcissism" - there *you go with your projecting* again... *Troll*.



Now _*that *_is what I call sweet irony


----------



## joswitch

thinguyforbbw said:


> makes you look like a bit of a fool considering the post just above (or above that) is a reply to you



Could be worse, pal. I could be you.


----------



## joswitch

thinguyforbbw said:


> Now _*that *_is what I call sweet *irony*



I do not think that word means what you think it does.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

joswitch said:


> I do not think that word means what you think it does.



another example of self-grandeur?


----------



## joswitch

thinguyforbbw said:


> another example of self-grandeur?



Your failure is EPIC young padawan!


----------



## LoveBHMS

joswitch said:


> No, I'm pretty sure if HE knew 100 fat women they'd be angry - at him. That wouldn't, of course, make THEM "jerks"... Just smart...



I'm not saying this is 100% the case, but if he knew 100 fat women, he'd be a lot less likely to believe that the actions of a single one would represent all of them. He'd also be less likely to think that fat women are all one way or another which seems to be where his mindset is at.

I also honestly think a more experienced FA would be less worried over stereotypes and how the world views fat women. Lots of men made mistakes when they're new FA and new to the community, the lynch mob never helps. Just sit back and let the guy make his mistakes and find his own way.


----------



## spiritangel

Hmm I have finally almost fully caught up on this thread

anyone else feel its the chicken and the egg thing or is it just me?

I have been fat since my teens and was asked once in a spiritual cirlce why I thought I was fat, if it was self protection or some such and the most brilliant answer flowed from me

*"To teach others acceptance"* and it has often proven the case that I am the first or fattest person someone has ever known and through being true to myself and who I am eating what I want and how I want when I want to ect that I have helped break the stereotypes they have held of fat people

If I do eat junk in public I dont hide it away and pretend I am not eating it by the same token if I am eating something healthy I dont hide it either

It takes a long time for stereotypes to be removed from societys consciousness and lots of work to do so

but the only true way to change the world is to change ourselves and how we view the world we live in and to not buy into what others may or may not think after all we have no true way of knowing what that person looking at us is thinking they may be thinking man I wish I had the guts to eat that croissant in public instead of waiting till I get home..............

if we all bought into all the stereotypes lets face it there would be no multiculturalism for starters

I wish that instead of seeing a fat/skinny/black/white person people would just see who someone is and take a few minutes to get to know them 

Until you have walked a mile in my shoes you do not know who I am or my life my history my battles my limits my hurts my inspirations my story 

You do not know that I dont want your concern over my size

I dont want to hear how your mothers uncles sisters aunts daughters nail therapists sister lost 100kgs eating nothing but brussel sprouts and drinking brine

I want to be seen as a person, as a fellow human being, 

I do not judge other people and to be honest I rarely leave my house thinking oh no I am going to be judged for being a fat chick or treated like its catching ect and if I am then I deal with it by living and enjoying my life

and yes that includes eating on the train on occassion 

just some thoughts and reactions to stuff I have been reading 

Wouldnt it be wonderful to be seen as a person and not a representative of a certain community?


----------



## OneWickedAngel

thinguyforbbw said:


> ...snip...
> 
> THIS is where the responsibility comes in. We cannot just think of ourselves, we have to think of others as well.





thinguyforbbw said:


> If you happen to not agree with me, fine, I cannot make you act more responsibly, I can only suggest.



Personally, I think it's irresponsible for people of _any_ size to eat on public transportation. The amount of times food someone else was eating has accidentally spilled/dropped on me while travelling on public transportation is not even funny. 

As for being personally responsible for upholding/debunking every stereotype about fat women so OTHERS would feel better about fat women? PUH-LEEZ! 


You don't want us eating on public transportation. 
Others don't want to see us eat in public.
Some don't want to sit next to us on the bus/train/plane in general.
Many plus-sized stores have racks so close together it's near impossible for the women the establishment is designed to serve to actually shop there. SO they want us to buy their clothes, they just don't want us to be there to do it?
Some don't like to see us in colors other than slimming ones like, oh, black.
Some think the existence of SA/HAES and/or fat sites like Adipositivity and the very one we are on now is irresponsible to other fat women- should Subtantia Jones or Conrad Blickenstorfer close shop? It's the responsible to to do.

Hell a fat woman's mere existence outside her own front door seems irresponsible to some people. The only way to guarantee all fat women are not going to be irresponsible to anyone else in the public is all fat women become agoraphobic.


----------



## Blackjack

LoveBHMS said:


> I suspect the OP's issue is simply a matter of inexperience.



Inexperience does not at all excuse the level of assholic douchebaggery that's been displayed here.


----------



## xysoseriousx

I see skinny people eating all the time on the bus, but that might just be me.


----------



## msbard90

thinguyforbbw said:


> that in my opinion is selfishness. but, to each their own.



I apologize that I have greater things to worry about other than how me eating in public will affect the reputation of someone else. Your theory is juvenile. Sorry.


----------



## msbard90

Blackjack said:


> Inexperience does not at all excuse the level of assholic douchebaggery that's been displayed here.



If I could rep you, I so would.


----------



## Dromond

OneWickedAngel said:


> Personally, I think it's irresponsible for people of _any_ size to eat on public transportation. The amount of times food someone else was eating has accidentally spilled/dropped on me while travelling on public transportation is not even funny.
> 
> As for being personally responsible for upholding/debunking every stereotype about fat women so OTHERS would feel better about fat women? PUH-LEEZ!
> 
> 
> You don't want us eating on public transportation.
> Others don't want to see us eat in public.
> Some don't want to sit next to us on the bus/train/plane in general.
> Many plus-sized stores have racks so close together it's near impossible for the women the establishment is designed to serve to actually shop there. SO they want us to buy their clothes, they just don't want us to be there to do it?
> Some don't like to see us in colors other than slimming ones like, oh, black.
> Some think the existence of SA/HAES and/or fat sites like Adipositivity and the very one we are on now is irresponsible to other fat women- should Subtantia Jones or Conrad Blickenstorfer close shop? It's the responsible to to do.
> 
> Hell a fat woman's mere existence outside her own front door seems irresponsible to some people. The only way to guarantee all fat women are not going to be irresponsible to anyone else in the public is all fat women become agoraphobic.



I'd so rep you for this if I could. :bow:


----------



## Dromond

msbard90 said:


> If I could rep you, I so would.



Repped him for you.


----------



## msbard90

Dromond said:


> Repped him for you.



repped her for you


----------



## jdsumm

thinguyforbbw said:


> of course it is wrong. I agree 100%. I have never debated that.
> 
> but at the same time, until the fat community can actually start changing the perception of non-fat people through education, then I believe it is their responsibility to just try and use other means of trying to change perception, and this includes being more responsible.



See though, to me,your position that eating in public as a fat person=being irresponsible is completely flawed. (I can't speak for eating on a train, we don't have that type of public transport here in Indiana, but I can say if it is ok for thin folks then it's ok for fatties.) I know this has been said over and over again but this is one reason why it is not irresponsible: Being hungry but succumbing to the fear of being judged by a hate-filled stereotype and waiting to eat where no one can see you, gives power to the stereotype and is a step back for size acceptance, it in no way helps. How can it help? The only way to deal with discrimination is to confront it, not bury your head in the sand and wait until society is somehow educated enough to accept that I am worthy enough as a human being to eat when I am hungry. I want to live and live fully TODAY! Me doing so is absolutely the RESPONSIBLE thing to do. Yes there are many ways to educate society to help end the fat-hatred, but waiting until it happens isn't the responsible thing to do. It truly isn't.


----------



## calauria

thinguyforbbw said:


> exactly what I am talking about. I know a lot of people who say fat people are lazy and greedy. This is why I am for fat people being more responsible. Some people might not care being labelled as lazy and greedy, but I know other fat people do.



You know, the very fact that some of us display a positive self image will cause negative reactions. They are gonna think whatever they want no matter what we do. 

All, I know is that I've suffered for too long, and not ALL of the suffering was due to being fat. I used to be very slim and still was mistreated and stereotyped by people. Actually, I don't see much of a difference on how I was treated when I was slim than I am fat, except when I was slim more idiot men who were into slim women wanted to use my body as if it were a inflatable doll!! That's the only damn difference there was, so being slim does not equal happiness and it doesn't mean people will not treat you any damn better, all that is just plain bullshit!! So, if I want to eat in public I will and if anyone has a problem with it, I will tell them to go fuck themselves and stop fucking around looking at me! I've made it a priority a long time ago, to curse anyone the fuck out who has something negative to say about my weight, very loudly, in front of a lot of people. They usually learn to NEVER go that route with me again. I'm just absolutely INTOLERANT of anyones mistreat and if they don't like it, then they shouldn't have started it anyways.

Look, you have gone and made me mad. I'm on a rant roll now!!


----------



## Fuzzy Necromancer

This thread has given me new fuel for the "and it made me go WTF " thread on another forum.


x_X
*twitch*

There is nothing irresponsible or slobbish about EATING. Eating food is what people do, because, you know, they can't make their own food with photosynthesis.


----------



## xysoseriousx

The only thing I don't get is, I see skinny women eating on the bus all the time, and if bigger women eating on the bus are considered irresponisible, then how aren't skinny women eating on the bus?


----------



## mossystate

Yes...the poor *33* year old man is inexperienced when it comes to knowing how to process information...and his own feelings.

This is nothing more than a display of a sense of entitlement. He wants a very particular group of people to live our lives the way he sees fit...and it is only for our own good. Now we are seeing where ' fatties ' ( ugh ) can be seen either as greedy pigs...or fat women who might just be enjoying an approved wandering away from what they should be eating most of the time. Just more of the same good fat woman/bad fat woman. I think there are many skinnies who need to do more than a little soul searching, away from any fat person.

For you people making excuses for this 33 year old man...I hope, when you run into anybody with such outrageous and hateful opinions about anything NOT related to fat, you calmly excuse/understand it with the same word........inexperience. 

I never thought I would agree with joswitch, but it might not be a bad idea to consider banning this fat phobe. He doesn't need to bow and scrape and ask for forgiveness, and that would not be sincere...but he is now enjoying the sneering and the scolding of the fat women here. That might be crossing a wee line.


----------



## mszwebs

So here's a question.

At what weight do I go from being able to grab a quick but bad for me croissant on the train and still being acceptable, to being an irresponsible, bready, buttery snack eating hot mess?


----------



## fatgirlflyin

mszwebs said:


> So here's a question.
> 
> At what weight do I go from being able to grab a quick but bad for me croissant on the train and still being acceptable, to being an irresponsible, bready, buttery snack eating hot mess?



I think it probably depends on whether you fit in one seat or take up two...


----------



## mszwebs

fatgirlflyin said:


> I think it probably depends on whether you fit in one seat or take up two...



Damn ......


----------



## Blackjack

fatgirlflyin said:


> I think it probably depends on whether you fit in one seat or take up two...



Coincidentally, this is also the point where I'm willing to publicly masturbate to a woman on public transportation.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

mossystate said:


> Yes...the poor *33* year old man is inexperienced when it comes to knowing how to process information...and his own feelings.
> 
> This is nothing more than a display of a sense of entitlement. He wants a very particular group of people to live our lives the way he sees fit...and it is only for our own good. Now we are seeing where ' fatties ' ( ugh ) can be seen either as greedy pigs...or fat women who might just be enjoying an approved wandering away from what they should be eating most of the time. Just more of the same good fat woman/bad fat woman. I think there are many skinnies who need to do more than a little soul searching, away from any fat person.
> 
> For you people making excuses for this 33 year old man...I hope, when you run into anybody with such outrageous and hateful opinions about anything NOT related to fat, you calmly excuse/understand it with the same word........inexperience.
> 
> I never thought I would agree with joswitch, but it might not be a bad idea to consider banning this fat phobe. He doesn't need to bow and scrape and ask for forgiveness, and that would not be sincere...but he is now enjoying the sneering and the scolding of the fat women here. That might be crossing a wee line.



actually, I'm 32, I don't turn 33 till later this month, i guess i forgot to change the date to my actual birth date and left it as the 1st ...

I think you are the exact militant people I am talking about. You seem very bitter and full of anger. You probably suffered a lot of discrimination to be this way, and for that I am sorry. I just hope you realise that just because someone has a differing view to you, it does not mean they hate fat people, because that could alienate you from a lot of people.


----------



## LoveBHMS

thinguyforbbw said:


> actually, I'm 32, I don't turn 33 till later this month, i guess i forgot to change the date to my actual birth date and left it as the 1st ...
> 
> I think you are the exact militant people I am talking about. You seem very bitter and full of anger. You probably suffered a lot of discrimination to be this way, and for that I am sorry. I just hope you realise that just because someone has a differing view to you, it does not mean they hate fat people, because that could alienate you from a lot of people.



Ok this comment is just the type of thing i was talking about. Somebody's personality or behaviour might have nothing at all to do with their weight. You're taking the fact of somebody being fat and taking their behaviour and necessarily equating the two, when in fact they may not be related at all. That is why i said it seems as though you have little real world experience with fat women. As i said before some are bitter and full of anger and some are not. And whether or not they are "bitter and full of anger" may have nothing at all, or possibly everything to do with their size but there is no way to know unless you know the person.

On your thread about animal rights, you did the same thing. You took a group of women behaving a certain way and automatically attributed it to their being fat.


----------



## Lamia

thinguyforbbw said:


> actually, I'm 32, I don't turn 33 till later this month, i guess i forgot to change the date to my actual birth date and left it as the 1st ...
> 
> I think you are the exact militant people I am talking about. You seem very bitter and full of anger. You probably suffered a lot of discrimination to be this way, and for that I am sorry. I just hope you realise that just because someone has a differing view to you, it does not mean they hate fat people, because that could alienate you from a lot of people.



So anyone who disagrees with you is militant? I am more than bewildered. Your comments are inflammatory and then when people react negatively then they're at fault. Tell me more of your homeworld Usul.


----------



## Paquito

I think he has a fetish for fat women dressed in tight military uniforms who glut themselves to bursting on public trains.


----------



## mossystate

thinguyforbbw said:


> actually, I'm 32, I don't turn 33 till later this month, i guess i forgot to change the date to my actual birth date and left it as the 1st ...
> 
> I think you are the exact militant people I am talking about. You seem very bitter and full of anger. You probably suffered a lot of discrimination to be this way, and for that I am sorry. I just hope you realise that just because someone has a differing view to you, it does not mean they hate fat people, because that could alienate you from a lot of people.




Oh...OK...then you still have part of a month to get one gigantic clue. 


Preeeetty sure the only people I will be " alienating " are people like you...and I think I will just suffer through that tragedy. See, I have never cared, in terms of how it makes me think about myself, when bigots call me things, like militant...radical...mouthy...bitter. Not sure when the first time that happened, but I do know that after I felt that pang, which comes from knowing you are not a bad person but doubting...I asked myself a few questions...and then moved on, knowing that it is pretty wonderful not being afraid to say some things. See, you bank on women ( doesn't matter the weight, as you have been rejected and are royally pissed...it could be a woman weighing 120 pounds and you would be how you are ) doubting themselves. Those women populate your fantasy island of women.

I hate to burst your bubble and tell you I have never suffered discrimination, for any reason. And if I had...then my being all militant ( lol ) is the kind of thing that changes the world. You want fat women to hide, unless it is to slap you around with fat rolls...and you are running into lots of people, fat and thinner, who are giving you a MEGA hair mussing.

And...yes...when I was getting laid on a very regular basis, I was the same. Just thought I would address that, as I am sure it is in your flaccid bag of tricks. 

:happy:


----------



## Jes

thinguyforbbw said:


> I don't know how many times I have to say this, *I am not offended*. I could not care less if it was just her and me in the carriage and she was eating a whole pizza. It would not offend me. The only thing that bothers me is when others are there and the negative stereotype that others will think of, and the effect it will have on other fat people.



Ok.

Then what do you plan to do about it? Obviously you are very concerned. So what's your plan to change what the world thinks?


----------



## Sweet Tooth

Oh oh oh, I got it! Maybe it's irresponsible because, you know, it's a MOVING train, and the woman could choke and there might not be anyone around to give her the Heimlich because she's fat and he doesn't seem to be big enough to handle a fat girl. Yeah... I'm thinking that's it. That's why it's irresponsible.

<sits safely on the sidelines of the rest of this, nomming away on a dozen fresh croissants, out of harm's way... because I'm responsible like that>


----------



## joswitch

thinguyforbbw said:


> actually, I'm 32, I don't turn 33 till later this month, i guess i forgot to change the date to my actual birth date and left it as the 1st ...
> 
> I think you are the exact militant people I am talking about. You seem very bitter and full of anger. You probably suffered a lot of discrimination to be this way, and for that I am sorry. I just hope you realise that *just because someone has a differing view to you, it does not mean they hate fat people*, because that could alienate you from a lot of people.



Obtuse^ is not just an angle in a triangle.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

Jes said:


> Ok.
> 
> Then what do you plan to do about it? Obviously you are very concerned. So what's your plan to change what the world thinks?



if I had the money, power, or influence, I would start off by making sure that the next few Hollywood blockbusters started with a fat hero or heroine.

I would change the education system so that it taught size acceptance/looks acceptance alongside other forms of acceptance.

So, tell me, what do you guys do about it, other than come to these forums and live in your own little world?


----------



## Big Beautiful Dreamer

What would happen if, instead of being concerned what *other people* might think about *another person's* behavior, you thought your own individual thoughts about other people's behavior and let everyone else do the same?

I'm with the earlier poster who asked: how do you plan to change what other people think?

You know, I'm concerned about 32-- not 33-- 32-year-old men because I sometimes see such men posting condescending attitudes about fat women on a site dedicated to size acceptance. Maybe it would be better for all 32-year-old men not to post on size acceptance sites, because when I see one doing that, I'm very concerned that it makes the rest of them look bad.

Because they're all alike, you know.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

mossystate said:


> See, you bank on women ( doesn't matter the weight, as you have been rejected and are royally pissed...it could be a woman weighing 120 pounds and you would be how you are ) doubting themselves. Those women populate your fantasy island of women.
> 
> 
> :happy:



you're way too judgemental. Seriously.


----------



## mossystate

And a thin guy will show us the way.


* the clouds open...the sun shines...the birds sing ( except for the chicken I am going to bake for dinner ) *

HOPE IS ALIVE FOR FAT PEOPLE BECAUSE A THINNIE SAID HE WOULD, IF HE HAD THE MONEY AND POWER, DO SHIT FOR US...SINCE HE DOESN'T HAVE THE POWER AND THE MONEY, HE WILL MAKE DO WITH BERATING AND TELLING US HOW WE SHOULD BEHAVE.

*Thinguy, whatchoooo doing right now...you know...before you get all that coin and shit.*


----------



## mossystate

thinguyforbbw said:


> you're way too judgemental. Seriously.




I will judge you twice on Thursday and probably a million times today.

Get your big boy pants on and hold tight.


:happy:


----------



## thinguyforbbw

mossystate said:


> HOPE IS ALIVE FOR FAT PEOPLE BECAUSE A THINNIE SAID HE WOULD, IF HE HAD THE MONEY AND POWER, DO SHIT FOR US...SINCE HE DOESN'T HAVE THE POWER AND THE MONEY, HE WILL MAKE DO WITH BERATING AND TELLING US HOW WE SHOULD BEHAVE.



As I said before, you're full of anger. Imagine if I called you a fattie, I'd get slated for hating fat people, yet you can call me a thinnie and get away with it.


----------



## CastingPearls

thinguyforbbw said:


> As I said before, you're full of anger. Imagine if I called you a fattie, I'd get slated for hating fat people, yet you can call me a thinnie and get away with it.


Imagine he called us fatties. Imagine that.....


----------



## mossystate

thinguyforbbw said:


> As I said before, you're full of anger. Imagine if I called you a fattie, I'd get slated for hating fat people, yet you can call me a thinnie and get away with it.



It's not a slam. Notice how many people, including thin people, call fat people...fatties? If you want to become a part of this community, you will need to know such things!


Now, let's get serious for a moment. * puts my monocle over left eye *


What...are...you...doing...about...getting...the...word...out...about...size...acceptance?


----------



## fatgirlflyin

thinguyforbbw said:


> if I had the money, power, or influence, I would start off by making sure that the next few Hollywood blockbusters started with a fat hero or heroine.
> 
> I would change the education system so that it taught size acceptance/looks acceptance alongside other forms of acceptance.
> 
> So, tell me, what do you guys do about it, other than come to these forums and live in your own little world?



That's what I do. I live in my own little world. I teach my children acceptance and tolerance, and I do that by showing those things in my actions. When something presents itself to me and I feel that by standing up for my rights I would in turn stand up for the rights of other fat people, I take the opportunity to educate people or speak up about what I feel is wrong. 

That's what I do, and that's enough. A fat woman eating a crossaint on a train reflects negatively on me about as much as you reflect negatively on other thin men from the UK who post here.


----------



## cinnamitch

mszwebs said:


> So here's a question.
> 
> At what weight do I go from being able to grab a quick but bad for me croissant on the train and still being acceptable, to being an irresponsible, bready, buttery snack eating hot mess?



Well if you didn't bring one to share with me, you crossed that line Missy.


----------



## cinnamitch

thinguyforbbw said:


> As I said before, you're full of anger. Imagine if I called you a fattie, I'd get slated for hating fat people, yet you can call me a thinnie and get away with it.



I would never call you a thinnie, there are so many other words out there i could use, that thinnie wouldn't even make the top 20.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Fat Brian said:


> I've always wondered what the strange looks were about when I pulled my double Quarter-Pounder open and rubbed it on my erect nipples. Now I realize they thought I was a glutton.



Oh the many things us fatties had no clue about until a thin person tells us :doh:



thinguyforbbw said:


> actually, I was thinking, why should I have to worry about offending anyone? Why should I have to take a break so as the mood does not sour? After all, I am not saying anything "wrong", I am not someone who hates fat people, on the contrary, I want people to like fat people because I hate the way they are treated by society.
> So, I will post on topics I feel are important to me, and if anyone does not like it or does not agree with it, simply *do not read the thread and reply*!



Same logic applies to that woman eating on the train: 
That woman will eat food that tastes good to her and if anyone does not like it, simply* do not watch her eat!*



thinguyforbbw said:


> nah, I'm single, still looking for my fattie! lol
> 
> If I had a fat gf, would I take her out to dinner. Of course I would. A fat person eating in a restaurant is not being irresponsible, because that is what restaurants are for, EATING.
> 
> About her eating on the train, I cannot control what she does or does not do, but I would probably slip a high energy drink in her handbag so that was she to feel hungry on the train, she could simply have her drink - of course, if she still decided to eat, then there is nothing I can do about that except point out that her actions might be having a negative effect on the image of other fat people.



I'm shocked you are single. you have so much tutelage and concern to offer....



joswitch said:


> That last line is beyond irony and well into hypocrisy.
> Have YOU ever stopped?... Trolling, that is.
> Yo, mods, how about banning this fatphobe?
> Enough already!



I'm surprised every time I log in and this thread is still going myself. Kind of reminds me of that thread a few years back with a guy "sharing his fantasy" of cutting up and bleeding a bbw....and how long that thread was allowed to go on. 



thinguyforbbw said:


> actually, I'm 32, I don't turn 33 till later this month, i guess i forgot to change the date to my actual birth date and left it as the 1st ...
> 
> I think you are the exact militant people I am talking about. You seem very bitter and full of anger. You probably suffered a lot of discrimination to be this way, and for that I am sorry. I just hope you realise that just because someone has a differing view to you, it does not mean they hate fat people, because that could alienate you from a lot of people.



Will you eat cake out in public on your birthday? If you ever get that elusive bbw gf, will she be allowed to eat cake, too? What would your mother think?



thinguyforbbw said:


> if I had the money, power, or influence, I would start off by making sure that the next few Hollywood blockbusters started with a fat hero or heroine.
> 
> I would change the education system so that it taught size acceptance/looks acceptance alongside other forms of acceptance.
> 
> *So, tell me, what do you guys do about it, other than come to these forums and live in your own little world?*



I eat croissants on the subway, fried chicken in my car and pizza on a park bench. Duh. 





thinguyforbbw said:


> As I said before, you're full of anger. Imagine if I called you a fattie, I'd get slated for hating fat people, yet you can call me a thinnie and get away with it.



No worries, thinnie isn't the name that comes to mind for you.....

And 

Monique isn't full of anger. She is full of croissants :happy:


----------



## Mathias

thinguyforbbw said:


> if I had the money, power, or influence, I would start off by making sure that the next few Hollywood blockbusters started with a fat hero or heroine.
> 
> I would change the education system so that it taught size acceptance/looks acceptance alongside other forms of acceptance.
> 
> So, tell me, what do you guys do about it, other than come to these forums and live in your own little world?



If you'd actually step back and READ the forums instead of projectile vomiting your self hatred onto others you'd maybe get a sense of what this place is about. Why you came back boggles my mind.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

mossystate said:


> What...are...you...doing...about...getting...the...word...out...about...size...acceptance?



btw, dont talk about size acceptance, for youre just interested in fat acceptance, not size acceptance.

anyway, for a start, I educate people around me. So when we're in the theatre and my friend says that the fat woman eating a few seats away might cause the balcony we're on to break, I tell him to go and say that to her face and see what he gets.


----------



## mszwebs

thinguyforbbw said:


> if I had the money, power, or influence, I would start off by making sure that the next few Hollywood blockbusters started with a fat hero or heroine.
> 
> I would change the education system so that it taught size acceptance/looks acceptance alongside other forms of acceptance.
> 
> So, tell me, what do you guys do about it, other than come to these forums and live in your own little world?




I do nothing. Nothing at all. 

I'm so irresponsible I can smell it.

Wait, no... those are brownies. MY BAD.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

Mathias said:


> If you'd actually step back and READ the forums instead of projectile vomiting your self hatred onto others you'd maybe get a sense of what this place is about. Why you came back boggles my mind.



self-hatred seems to be the buzzword of the day.


----------



## mszwebs

thinguyforbbw said:


> btw, dont talk about size acceptance, for youre just interested in fat acceptance, not size acceptance.
> 
> anyway, for a start, I educate people around me. So when we're in the theatre and my friend says that the fat woman eating a few seats away might cause the balcony we're on to break, I tell him to go and say that to her face and see what he gets.




READ WHAT YOU JUST WROTE.


*So when we're in the theatre and my friend says that the fat woman eating a few seats away might cause the balcony we're on to break, I tell him to go and say that to her face and see what he gets.*



^^^That is exactly what you're complaining about in this thread!! Replace "balcony" with "TRAIN" ^^^

They tell the fat woman she's going to break the balcony. Maybe she kicks their ass?

You tell us we're irresponsible for eating a croissant on a train and we're militant fat women when we address it.

MAKE UP YOUR MIND.


----------



## cinnamitch

thinguyforbbw said:


> if I had the money, power, or influence, I would start off by making sure that the next few Hollywood blockbusters started with a fat hero or heroine.
> 
> I would change the education system so that it taught size acceptance/looks acceptance alongside other forms of acceptance.
> 
> So, tell me, what do you guys do about it, other than come to these forums and live in your own little world?



I myself hire trained assassins to shoot people who come on size acceptance forums to run down women in the community to either make themselves feel better or so they can wrap their hand around their stiffy a little better. In doing this, it makes one less person to cause fat people to have to suffer through the ramblings of people who couldn't get a clue if it was standing in front of them.Now you watch this guy bite the dust and the po-po's come knocking on my door


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I reported him for what he just wrote. Let's see if this continues.....


----------



## Mathias

thinguyforbbw said:


> if I had the money, power, or influence, I *would *start off by making sure that the next few Hollywood blockbusters started with a fat hero or heroine.
> 
> I *would* change the education system so that it taught size acceptance/looks acceptance alongside other forms of acceptance.
> 
> So, tell me, what do you guys do about it, other than come to these forums and live in your own little world?



Saying you would do something isn't the same as actually going out and doing it. So, what makes you think you can come here and insult this community like you're better than the rest of us based on some skewed perception you've come up with? What are _you_ going to do about it besides coming here and pissing off an entire community? Hypocrite.


----------



## mossystate

thinguyforbbw said:


> btw, dont talk about size acceptance, for youre just interested in fat acceptance, not size acceptance.
> 
> anyway, for a start, I educate people around me. So when we're in the theatre and my friend says that the fat woman eating a few seats away might cause the balcony we're on to break, I tell him to go and say that to her face and see what he gets.




Isn't that interesting. When I was MUCH smaller, and not fat, I spoke up when all kinds of people were getting shit pitched at them. Hmmmmmmmmm. But now I have changed, and will only be on the side of fat people....you have uncovered my secret!!

LOL...So you lecture your ' friend ', and then, just to balance things, you come to this site of all places, and educate fat people on how the minds of thin people might break, if they see a fat person gnawing on anything not approved by you.


You are saying this to our collective face...and you see what you are getting.

Connect the dots, bucko. 


*eta - Caroline, I am actually full of Mothers' Taffy cookies...ok, 3 of them, but they are very sweet...so I am sure SOMEBODY would have been shaking their head if they had seen me shove them into mah face hole


----------



## thinguyforbbw

mszwebs said:


> READ WHAT YOU JUST WROTE.
> 
> 
> *So when we're in the theatre and my friend says that the fat woman eating a few seats away might cause the balcony we're on to break, I tell him to go and say that to her face and see what he gets.*
> 
> 
> 
> ^^^That is exactly what you're complaining about in this thread!! Replace "balcony" with "TRAIN" ^^^
> 
> They tell the fat woman she's going to break the balcony. Maybe she kicks their ass?
> 
> You tell us we're irresponsible for eating a croissant on a train and we're militant fat women when we address it.
> 
> MAKE UP YOUR MIND.



You see, people start putting words in my mouth for me.

I have never said that it is wrong for a fat person to eat in public places. I mean, in the theatre, it was a break, and everyone was eating, and the fat woman had every right to eat as everyone else, and her eating was not giving anyone the false stereotype that fat people are greedy and stuff their faces. I had no problem with her eating. My friend made a very juvenile comment, he's like that, he loves fat people jokes and other juvenile stuff without actually meaning to be hurtful, so I told him to go and say it to her face and see what he gets in return. I could have gone along with his joke, but I did not. I did my bit for the fat person.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I suspect he's way too thin for those big boy pants to stay up Monique......


----------



## CastingPearls

thinguyforbbw said:


> You see, people start putting words in my mouth for me.
> 
> I have never said that it is wrong for a fat person to eat in public places. I mean, in the theatre, it was a break, and everyone was eating, and the fat woman had every right to eat as everyone else, and her eating was not giving anyone the false stereotype that fat people are greedy and stuff their faces. I had no problem with her eating. My friend made a very juvenile comment, he's like that, he loves fat people jokes and other juvenile stuff without actually meaning to be hurtful, so I told him to go and say it to her face and see what he gets in return. I could have gone along with his joke, but I did not. I did my bit for the fat person.


Apparently you love fat people jokes too since you and your mum were close like that...your words....


----------



## thinguyforbbw

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I suspect he's way too thin for those big boy pants to stay up Monique......



ah, so now we're getting personal and taking the mickey out of my weight? so much for size acceptance!


----------



## Fat Brian

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I suspect he's way too thin for those big boy pants to stay up Monique......




Is he a waifish 97 pounds like tinytoddy ?


----------



## Mathias

thinguyforbbw said:


> You see, people start putting words in my mouth for me.
> 
> I have never said that it is wrong for a fat person to eat in public places. I mean, in the theatre, it was a break, and everyone was eating, and the fat woman had every right to eat as everyone else, and her eating was not giving anyone the false stereotype that fat people are greedy and stuff their faces. I had no problem with her eating. My friend made a very juvenile comment, he's like that, he loves fat people jokes and other juvenile stuff without actually meaning to be hurtful, so I told him to go and say it to her face and see what he gets in return. I could have gone along with his joke, but I did not. I did my bit for the fat person.



You said in your original post that it does frustrate you, which caused this whole clusterfuck.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

CastingPearls said:


> Apparently you love fat people jokes too since you and your mum were close like that...your words....



That was a long time ago. I was around 13 or 14. I was juvenile. Surely something I did 20 years ago cannot be held against me now.


----------



## CastingPearls

thinguyforbbw said:


> ah, so now we're getting personal and taking the mickey out of my weight? so much for size acceptance!


taking the mickey? as in mouse? <even more issues than suspected......>

NOW getting personal? Just now?


----------



## mossystate

thinguyforbbw said:


> That was a long time ago. I was around 13 or 14. I was juvenile. Surely something I did 20 years ago cannot be held against me now.



You are repeating it. You are not using the exact words, but the intent is the same.........exactly the same.

Grow up.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Fat Brian said:


> Is he a waifish 97 pounds like tinytoddy ?



His mouth alone must weigh 83 lbs.....



thinguyforbbw said:


> You see, people start putting words in my mouth for me.
> 
> I have never said that it is wrong for a fat person to eat in public places. I mean, in the theatre, it was a break, and everyone was eating, and the fat woman had every right to eat as everyone else, and her eating was not giving anyone the false stereotype that fat people are greedy and stuff their faces. I had no problem with her eating. My friend made a very juvenile comment, he's like that, he loves fat people jokes and other juvenile stuff without actually meaning to be hurtful, so I told him to go and say it to her face and see what he gets in return. I could have gone along with his joke, but I did not. I did my bit for the fat person.




This rambling reminds me of that former poster FAJoe posting about how his best friend walks around making cracks about fat women and he says nothing. 

I wonder if thinguy's friend is bigger than him and beats his ass when he tries to tell him what to do?

I wonder who is the bitch/punk in that relationship?


----------



## thinguyforbbw

Mathias said:


> You said in your original post that it does frustrate you, which caused this whole clusterfuck.



fat person eating in public where everyone else does = good
fat person eating in public where no one else does = can reinforce the false stereotype in peoples minds of fat people being lazy, gluttoness etc, therefore, not good.

it really is as simple as that.


----------



## CastingPearls

thinguyforbbw said:


> That was a long time ago. I was around 13 or 14. I was juvenile. Surely something I did 20 years ago cannot be held against me now.


You were old enough to know it was hurtful. You verbally abused your own mother. Shame on you.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

thinguyforbbw said:


> ah, so now we're getting personal and taking the mickey out of my weight? so much for size acceptance!




Intelligent people take my cracks a bit more personal than generalized fat acceptance. 

Tiny person with a tiny.........mind? I don't like teeny tiny things anymore.....


----------



## mszwebs

thinguyforbbw said:


> You see, people start putting words in my mouth for me.
> 
> I have never said that it is wrong for a fat person to eat in public places. I mean, in the theatre, it was a break, and everyone was eating, and the fat woman had every right to eat as everyone else, and her eating was not giving anyone the false stereotype that fat people are greedy and stuff their faces. I had no problem with her eating. My friend made a very juvenile comment, he's like that, he loves fat people jokes and other juvenile stuff without actually meaning to be hurtful, so I told him to go and say it to her face and see what he gets in return. I could have gone along with his joke, but I did not. I did my bit for the fat person.



The point is not where the fat person is eating, dude. The point is that you're trying to guilt the fat person into only eating where we are SUPPOSED to eat, lest we be irresponsible to fat people everywhere...and if we HAVE to eat somewhere else, by God, it had better be something healthy.

The point is that you're ashamed when you see a fat woman (or man, whatever) eating something naughty... whether or not that's a big fat piece of cake, a croissant or even a carrot in a locale where you deem that food doesn't belong. Unfortunate, but we'll deal with your bigotry just as we deal with other people's.

And I'm SURE that the poor fat woman in the balcony was ever so thankful. Clearly all that Size Acceptance spiel is working so well with your fat-joking loving friends. Such a hero.


----------



## Fat Brian

thinguyforbbw said:


> ah, so now we're getting personal and taking the mickey out of my weight? so much for size acceptance!





Are you peeved because your friends teased you about not being big (man) enough to handle a big woman so you lecture us fatties about our public eating ? And when our collective anger rises you scold us for being anti-tiny ? You aren't coming to your FAness with an open heart and mind, you are coming from a dark place filled with control and negativity.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

CastingPearls said:


> You were old enough to know it was hurtful. You verbally abused your own mother. Shame on you.



I bet his mama is fat.


----------



## CastingPearls

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I bet his mama is fat.


she WAS but he made fun of her and she 'greatly lost weight' so THAT is how he did his part for size acceptance.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

thinguyforbbw said:


> ah, so now we're getting personal and taking the mickey out of my weight? so much for size acceptance!



Really now! So when you, as a smaller person, spew bullshit -er- your opinions about things you feel are not cool for a fat person to do, it is not a strike against SA, but when some one says something about you as a skinny person all of a sudden we're militant anti-SA.

NEWSFLASH: Most of us have do not have a problem with Size Acceptance. Most of us however have a problem with _you_.


----------



## Fat Brian

thinguyforbbw said:


> fat person eating in public where everyone else does = good
> fat person eating in public where no one else does = can reinforce the false stereotype in peoples minds of fat people being lazy, gluttoness etc, therefore, not good.
> 
> it really is as simple as that.





But I see people of all sizes eat just about everywhere. Most food is fairly portable and goes where people go. Not every person seeing a fat person eat has the visceral negative reaction you do. You don't get to decide what is appropriate behavior for someone you've never met.


----------



## joswitch

thinguyforbbw said:


> *if I had the money, power, or influence,* I would start off by making sure that the next few Hollywood blockbusters started with a fat hero or heroine.
> 
> I would change the education system so that it taught size acceptance/looks acceptance alongside other forms of acceptance.



Nice ideas. You don't have money, power etc, tho'. So it's a moot point.
You don't get brownie points for "IF".



> So, tell me, what do you guys do about it, other than come to these forums and live in your own little world?


If you'd read the many threads on DIMS about people's actual RL fat activism you wouldn't need to ask that.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

CastingPearls said:


> she WAS but he made fun of her and she 'greatly lost weight' so THAT is how he did his part for size acceptance.



Ahhhh yeah, I see now! 

Kind of like the time my dad explained to me that he mocks me for what I eat and being fat to make me want to lose weight and be thin. He did this back when I was a young teen.

It worked like a charm.


----------



## mossystate

Don't ' diet '...don't eat the ' wrong ' kinds of foods in the ' wrong ' places.


Calgon, take this fat woman awaaaaaaay! I can't possibly obey every man out here who is only thinking of my best interests!!


----------



## thinguyforbbw

Fat Brian said:


> Are you peeved because your friends teased you about not being big (man) enough to handle a big woman so you lecture us fatties about our public eating ? And when our collective anger rises you scold us for being anti-tiny ? You aren't coming to your FAness with an open heart and mind, you are coming from a dark place filled with control and negativity.



nah, they were just juvenile. I did worry whether a thin guy can get a fat woman, and then I realised he can, so have no worries about that. 

I also did some soul-searching and came to the conclusion that me going after a woman just because she is fat is shallow and superficial, and therefore, I will go for any good woman regardless of her weight.


----------



## CastingPearls

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Ahhhh yeah, I see now!
> 
> Kind of like the time my dad explained to me that he mocks me for what I eat and being fat to make me want to lose weight and be thin. He did this back when I was a young teen.
> 
> It worked like a charm.


My dad did it to me when I was six. Told me if I didn't 'knock the weight off' before I was ten, I'd be doomed to teh fatness forever. 

By the way, did I mention today that you're a fattie? 

F

Y

I


----------



## mossystate

Show those good women these two threads.



double dog dare ya


----------



## thinguyforbbw

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Ahhhh yeah, I see now!
> 
> Kind of like the time my dad explained to me that he mocks me for what I eat and being fat to make me want to lose weight and be thin. He did this back when I was a young teen.
> 
> It worked like a charm.



Your dad has your best interest at heart. He saw society accepts thin women, so he wanted you to be thin. Of course, he was wrong, and he should have encouraged to love yourself whatever you were, but the bottom line is, your dad was trying to do the best for his daughter, and that you should always remember.


----------



## mossystate

thinguyforbbw said:


> Your dad has your best interest at heart. He saw society accepts thin women, so he wanted you to be thin. Of course, he was wrong, and he should have encouraged to love yourself whatever you were, but the bottom line is, your dad was trying to do the best for his daughter, and that you should always remember.




OK. Now you need to just knock it the fuck off.

You are now pissing on fat women...pure and simple. If you are a troll, and doing all this to have a little ' fun '....just back away and leave. If you are not a complete and utter jackass. If I am infracted for that...no problem. You are making light of outright abuse.


----------



## TraciJo67

thinguyforbbw said:


> Your dad has your best interest at heart. He saw society accepts thin women, so he wanted you to be thin. Of course, he was wrong, and he should have encouraged to love yourself whatever you were, but the bottom line is, your dad was trying to do the best for his daughter, and that you should always remember.


 
What the ... ?

So, if I hold my son's hand over an open flame to ensure that he never goes near a hot burner, should he always remember that I was just trying to do my best for him?

Sometimes the message is so damaging that the intent doesn't matter -- especially when the intent is borne of ignorance and fear.


----------



## chicken legs

Thinguyforbbw I think you have been stereotyped...and its going to take a lot of time to break that stereotype.


----------



## Big Beautiful Dreamer

thinguyforbbw said:


> fat person eating in public where everyone else does = good
> fat person eating in public where no one else does = can reinforce the false stereotype in peoples minds of fat people being lazy, gluttoness etc, therefore, not good.
> 
> it really is as simple as that.



OP thinking that he should decide under what circumstances people should eat = reason that he can "go for" any woman he wants to, but that some women don't want to date condescending men.

Any man who speaks of relationships in terms of "getting" women = man who does not understand why he has had relationships end.


----------



## Fat Brian

thinguyforbbw said:


> Your dad has your best interest at heart. He saw society accepts thin women, so he wanted you to be thin. Of course, he was wrong, and he should have encouraged to love yourself whatever you were, but the bottom line is, your dad was trying to do the best for his daughter, and that you should always remember.



You are so caught up what "society" thinks you can't even acknowledge when people have been hurt by others like you who were just trying to conform to the standard. You neither need or deserve a fat woman in your life, I fear greatly for what you would put her through in the name of "society". We come here as a respite from your kind of thinking, a place of fat freedom.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

mossystate said:


> OK. Now you need to just knock it the fuck off.
> 
> You are now pissing on fat women...pure and simple. If you are a troll, and doing all this to have a little ' fun '....just back away and leave. If you are not a complete and utter jackass. If I am infracted for that...no problem. You are making light of outright abuse.



Stop being so immature and resorting to juvenile language like f*** off.

Instead of encouraging her to dislike her father, you should be trying to reconcile her with her father (assuming he is still alive and they;re not already reconciled). I mean, what he did was wrong, but the question is, if someone does wrong with your best interest at heart, did they do "wrong"?


----------



## thinguyforbbw

Fat Brian said:


> You are so caught up what "society" thinks you can't even acknowledge when people have been hurt by others like you who were just trying to conform to the standard. You neither need or deserve a fat woman in your life, I fear greatly for what you would put her through in the name of "society". We come here as a respite from your kind of thinking, a place of fat freedom.



sorry, I did acknowledge her pain, but just did not write it.

yes, no kid should ever be told to confirm to a certain look for societies acceptance. What I was trying to say her, wrong that he was, her father should not be disowned for trying to do what he thought was best for his daughter.


----------



## CastingPearls

thinguyforbbw said:


> sorry, I did acknowledge her pain, but just did not write it.
> 
> yes, no kid should ever be told to confirm to a certain look for societies acceptance. What I was trying to say her, wrong that he was, her father should not be disowned for trying to do what he thought was best for his daughter.



You acknowledged her pain but did not write it--is SHE a bloody psychic?

She didn't say she disowned her father. Nor did I.

Sounds to me like you're projecting your own parental issues onto others.

Also, do you use linen or cotton handkerchiefs and are they monogrammed?


----------



## mossystate

thinguyforbbw said:


> Stop being so immature and resorting to juvenile language like f*** off.
> 
> Instead of encouraging her to dislike her father, you should be trying to reconcile her with her father (assuming he is still alive and they;re not already reconciled). I mean, what he did was wrong, but the question is, if someone does wrong with your best interest at heart, did they do "wrong"?



Again, knock it the fuck off.

You are a troll. Anything written by me, or any other person who does not totally despise fat women, can be seen as lessons for any other trolls who are lurking and reading. I will thank you for getting all this started. The entertainment factor, at your expense, has been amusing....but some of this is just beyond the pale.


----------



## Fat Brian

thinguyforbbw said:


> Stop being so immature and resorting to juvenile language like f*** off.
> 
> Instead of encouraging her to dislike her father, you should be trying to reconcile her with her father (assuming he is still alive and they;re not already reconciled). I mean, what he did was wrong, but the question is, if someone does wrong with your best interest at heart, did they do "wrong"?





But he didn't have her best interest at heart, most parents who berate their fat children only think of themselves and their status among their peers. You honestly cannot see these issues can you ?

GEF and CP, I'm not trying to analyze your particular situations or the motives involved in your circumstance, I'm just trying to make a point.


----------



## Mathias

thinguyforbbw said:


> Stop being so immature and resorting to juvenile language like f*** off.
> 
> Instead of encouraging her to dislike her father, you should be trying to reconcile her with her father (assuming he is still alive and they;re not already reconciled). I mean, what he did was wrong, but the question is, if someone does wrong with your best interest at heart, did they do "wrong"?



Yes. A person can do what's best for someone else without being hurtful. Maybe you should do the same.


----------



## joswitch

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I suspect he's way too thin for those big boy pants to stay up Monique......



Nah. It's not his thinness that precludes big boy pants.
It'd be his entire lack of adult empathy that does that.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

Fat Brian said:


> But he didn't have her best interest at heart, most parents who berate their fat children only think of themselves and their status among their peers. You honestly cannot see these issues can you ?



well, I was not aware that parents do that. If they do, then, yes, that is very wrong indeed.


----------



## thinguyforbbw

mossystate said:


> Again, knock it the fuck off.
> 
> You are a troll. Anything written by me, or any other person who does not totally despise fat women, can be seen as lessons for any other trolls who are lurking and reading. I will thank you for getting all this started. The entertainment factor, at your expense, has been amusing....but some of this is just beyond the pale.



As I said before, you really are full of hatred. You live in a world where it is fat people against the rest. If anyone says something that does not agree with your view, they're a fat hater.

You really should take a long hard look at your attitude and see what good it is doing for fat people, because, trust me, you'll only alienate other non-fat people who actually want a society where fat people are accepted.


----------



## Fat Brian

thinguyforbbw said:


> well, I was not aware that parents do that. If they do, then, yes, that is very wrong indeed.





People in general do all manner of sucky things in the name of "society", thats why we prefer to represent ourselves in the way that best suites our situation and let people think what they will. If each of us educate our friends and family and others we come into direct contact with then strangers will have someone in their life talking to them too.


----------



## joswitch

thinguyforbbw said:


> fat person eating in public where everyone else does = good
> fat person eating in public where no one else does = can reinforce the false stereotype in peoples minds of fat people being lazy, gluttoness etc, therefore, not good.
> 
> it really is as simple as that.



No.
Fat person eating in public = none of your, nor anyone else's bloody business.
It really is THAT simple.


----------



## mossystate

thinguyforbbw said:


> As I said before, you really are full of hatred. You live in a world where it is fat people against the rest. If anyone says something that does not agree with your view, they're a fat hater.
> 
> You really should take a long hard look at your attitude and see what good it is doing for fat people, because, trust me, you'll only alienate other non-fat people who actually want a society where fat people are accepted.



Anyone?


Anyone?



Bueller?


Does that mean that when someone who IS fat disagrees with me, I think they hate fat people?



Oh......lord.....I is so confoozled!


:bow:


----------



## Fat Brian

thinguyforbbw said:


> As I said before, you really are full of hatred. You live in a world where it is fat people against the rest. If anyone says something that does not agree with your view, they're a fat hater.
> 
> You really should take a long hard look at your attitude and see what good it is doing for fat people, because, trust me, you'll only alienate other non-fat people who actually want a society where fat people are accepted.



Mossy is actually a very nice and intelligent person, but she expects a certain amount of intellectual honesty and for a person to be able to back up their opinion. Most of us have fallen afoul of her from time to time but is due to an oversight on our part, and inconsistency in our logic. Your feeling that she is militant is due to her expecting a higher level of debate from you than you are apparently able to give.


----------



## joswitch

thinguyforbbw said:


> nah, they were just juvenile. I did worry whether a thin guy can get a fat woman, and then I realised he can, so have no worries about that.
> 
> I also did some soul-searching and came to the conclusion that me going after a woman just because she is fat is shallow and superficial, and therefore,* I will go for any good woman regardless of her weight*.



Look out good women everywhere! Thinguywhoannoys is after yoooooouuuu!


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## joswitch

thinguyforbbw said:


> Your dad has your best interest at heart. He saw society accepts thin women, so he wanted you to be thin. Of course, he was wrong, and he should have encouraged to love yourself whatever you were, but the bottom line is, your dad was trying to do the best for his daughter, and that you should always remember.



Oh, you're a troll, all right.
Jury's back and you got found out.


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## thinguyforbbw

Fat Brian said:


> Mossy is actually a very nice and intelligent person, but she expects a certain amount of intellectual honesty and for a person to be able to back up their opinion. Most of us have fallen afoul of her from time to time but is due to an oversight on our part, and inconsistency in our logic. Your feeling that she is militant is due to her expecting a higher level of debate from you than you are apparently able to give.



well, she thinks she runs the show here, but she does not. She has no right to go around calling people names, and it is about time that someone told her that she needs to grow up and not fill someone's discussion with her hatred. If she does not like someone's view, she should not read any further.


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## Fat Brian

thinguyforbbw said:


> well, she thinks she runs the show here, but she does not. She has no right to go around calling people names, and it is about time that someone told her that she needs to grow up and not fill someone's discussion with her hatred. If she does not like someone's view, she should not read any further.



She can post wherever she likes and respond to whomever she likes. She knows shes not the boss around here but her points a woman of size are valid to your posts.


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## AnnMarie

This thread is closed - it may or may not be reopened pending review by mods and administrators. 

This topic is not to be started over in a new thread or brought to others for further discussion - any attempts to do so will result in administrative action. 

Thank you.


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