# Sons of unloving mothers correlate to bbw attraction?



## towmater (Jul 1, 2016)

Would like to get an idea if a study someone referenced online that men who are attracted to bbw are largely the product of unloving mothers, poor relationship with mother.

Is this true for you? True for me just wondering if it's a real thing?


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## Tad (Jul 1, 2016)

Not true for me, nor have I heard of such a study.

Honestly, sounds like an effort to explain FAness as something dysfunctional


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## fuelingfire (Jul 1, 2016)

Not true for me. My mom has always been obsessed with thinness. I had an aunt tell me that every time she has seen my mom over 30 years, my mom was thinner each time. I would estimate that she is currently about 100 lbs.
Growing up she would always comment on seeing anyone gain weight, Wow, (random person) really let herself go! Of course I would then look and think to myself wow she looks good! 
Here is my FA origins story that I have previously posted. Though it could be argued that this is when I became aware of being a FA.

It was a specific event for me. When I was 5 years old and still in daycare before kindergarten even. Someone explained to me what fat is, what it looks like in food, on a person, that it is bad for everyone, and thin people look better. Fat was bad. 

One of the caretakers at my daycare was a young attractive BBW with very wide hips. It was the 80s so she wore spandex every day. I think I was her favorite kid there because she always seemed to give me lots of attention compared to other kids there. Being 5 years old, I had no social filter and just learning what fat is means I had to point it out. I told her she was fat and she should not be, a few times in a row. She started arguing that she was not fat, and started crying. I saw how much it hurt her saying it. It was also one of my first memories of what I say really effects someone. 

And something in my mind snapped. She was fat, but rather than being bad, I really liked her. The switch flipped, fat girls are good. Not only was she good, she was attractive. So fat girls are attractive. I noticed she was a bit distant with me after that, so I realized I needed to be nice to fat girls. To me, it was the most obvious life-changing event I have experienced. 

Within a few days of that, I was by some guys gawking at a women walking by with large breasts. They made comments to each other about how huge her tits were (she was thin). I noticed that thin girls usually did not have big breasts. Fat girls on the other hand much more often had big breasts. This reconfirmed what I had just learned, fat girls are attractive.


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## azerty (Jul 2, 2016)

towmater said:


> Would like to get an idea if a study someone referenced online that men who are attracted to bbw are largely the product of unloving mothers, poor relationship with mother.
> 
> Is this true for you? True for me just wondering if it's a real thing?



Not true for me


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## landshark (Jul 2, 2016)

Tad said:


> Not true for me, nor have I heard of such a study.
> 
> *Honestly, sounds like an effort to explain FAness as something dysfunctional*



I agree. People are always looking for a reason to "explain" why some people like fat women. It doesn't need explaining though: people's preferences vary. There's not some deep psychological "mommy" connection there that applies to everyone. There's not an inferiority complex (if anything I am often over confident in myself). I did end up with a BBW wife because I couldn't get a more mainstream "hot" woman, I am with the woman I'm with because I WANT to be with her.

I've told my story on what triggered my attraction to bigger girls. A friend and classmate who was a big girl sat on my lap in a classroom exercise when i was ~12 or so years old. It really triggered something that lasted. I tried hard to keep a lid on it for several years but it was there below the surface waiting to come out. It has nothing to do with being unloved, or any of the psychological explanations people think they need to find. It has everything to do with a preference, maybe a hard wired one, being brought out by seemingly at the time innocent classroom silliness.


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## bigmac (Jul 2, 2016)

Was there actually a study or is this mere speculation?

I for one had a very loving and attentive mother. My mom sometimes drives me crazy but I have never for even a moment doubted her love.

As far as attraction to BBWs is concerned I believe positive feedback is involved. During my formative years I was never a member of the popular kid group. Pretty thin girls seldom acknowledged my existence (unless they wanted something). Fat girls were willing to be my friend. Why wouldn't I reciprocate?


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## coyote wild (Jul 2, 2016)

Nah, my mom's badass and provided me with a wonderful childhood, filled with love and attention and support.

I think a person's gonna like what a person's gonna like. There's no need digging any deeper than the way you're wired when you were born. Every mind is going to react to external stimuli differently. 

I seriously doubt there's a connection. However, my heart goes out to anyone that _did _have an unloving mother growing up or even still does. Don't let that define or diminish your self worth. Eff that noise.


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## agouderia (Jul 3, 2016)

Tad said:


> Honestly, sounds like an effort to explain FAness as something dysfunctional



Definitely this.

What also struck me in the responses to the OP is that everybody implicitly presumed that the unloving mother is thin - with BBW attraction the consequence of going for the opposite.

What about unloving BBW mothers? (They exist for sure - the ability to be a good mother does not hinge on body type. Apart from that, as we will all observe, families often consist of a group of people who would never have chosen to be together voluntarily. Biology throws them together for better or worse - and a good mother for one child can be a terrible one for the next).

Generally speaking, there is very little sound scientific research (be it medical or sociological) on sexual preferences. Decades of trying to find out the root causes of the most manifest one, homosexuality, have amounted to almost nothing. Today the only one under closer observation is paedophilia, simply in search of a treatment to prevent child abuse. 
And I would say that's a positive development - as long as it is among consenting adults, no violence is involved - let people be happy with what they want.


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## fuelingfire (Jul 3, 2016)

agouderia said:


> Definitely this.
> 
> What also struck me in the responses to the OP is that everybody implicited presumed that the unloving mother is thin - with BBW attraction the consequence of going for the opposite.
> 
> ...



If this was in reference to my post, I just meant to point out that it is odd how obsessed with thinness my mom is and she has a son who is a FA. I am unaware of any correlation with unloving parents body size and having FA children.


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## agouderia (Jul 3, 2016)

fuelingfire said:


> If this was in reference to my post,



No, it wasn't targeted at you. Maybe I should've been more precise and written in *all* responses.

You're the only one who explicitly referred to having a thin mother - with all others the interpretatory sub-text clearly reads that they thought the OP's premise is of a non-BBW unloving mother.


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## landshark (Jul 3, 2016)

fuelingfire said:


> If this was in reference to my post, I just meant to point out that it is odd how obsessed with thinness my mom is and she has a son who is a FA. *I am unaware of any correlation with unloving parents body size and having FA children.*



Probably because there isn't one. There's no "there" there. It's just people looking for an explanation to explain what is to them unexplainable. To wit, "how can anyone prefer to have a fat woman for a partner?" 

I notice OP hasn't returned, too. I'd be interested to know his motivation for asking such a question.


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## fuelingfire (Jul 4, 2016)

The OP made me think that the OP was asking about a study, due to needing one for a school assignment. I might be reading to much into the post. Usually the only people who want a specific study are students. Otherwise would have settled for a website or information.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Jul 4, 2016)

I agree: this sounds like a student, and a college student at that. In my experience, some collegians will go to great lengths to try to get someone else to do their research for them.  Plus, the topic sounds like something I would have come up with as a sophomore in Psych 101.*

*I was a late bloomer as an FA.


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## Joker13 (Jul 6, 2016)

Not true for me, my fam is amazing

Sent from my 831C using Tapatalk


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## Webmaster (Jul 6, 2016)

Certainly not true for me.


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## Luv2CUfeast (Jul 6, 2016)

Definitely not the case for me either; Mom was a big girl and Dad was very much in love with her in every way; I had a delightful childhood.


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## Tad (Jul 6, 2016)

New posters get most of their first few posts held for moderator approval, and it happened that I was the moderator who decided to approve the thread that started this thread.

I admit that I hesitated and thought a bit before approving it. Ultimately I did approve it because odds are good that if one person has heard such a theory, others have as well. Given which, it seemed to me best to discuss it openly &#8211; and I was pretty confident that the experience of people here would largely not support the thesis. 

Overall I’d rather see civil discussion of something I don’t agree with than to just shut it down. (and hey, I could learn something from such a discussion, so a bit of self-interest in seeing a discussion happen). And to look at it another way, where else could the OP ask that question and actually get an informed response?

If anyone had provided a link to a study claiming such a thing, I would have been interested to see how it was conducted and exactly what the data said (which is not always the same as the headline proclamation about what the study found).

It is a shame that the OP does not seem to have been back after that one post, but you can't always predict such things.


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## landshark (Jul 6, 2016)

sun shine said:


> I have a really great relationship with my mom. And not to be rude, but I really don't think saying something like that on a forum like this is appropriate. There are online studies saying the earth is flat, and other online studies saying the earth is round. If you are genuinely interested in the subject, maybe try to find some literature. Otherwise, saying something like that sounds like you (or whoever wrote whatever study) are saying that 1) guys who like fat girls have something wrong with their brain, and 2) that only someone with something wrong with their brain would like a fat girl. I don't think there is something wrong with a person's brain if they like thin girls, and from a psycho-socio-cultural whatever standpoint, I would not go on a forum catering to the thin and publicly question whether their parents love them. Also, I think thin girls are beautiful too, but I really, really love fat girls. I think they are really hot. Big girls are beautiful, and that has nothing to do with something being wrong with a person's brain.



I don't mean to brag, but my wife's body looks similar to that girl on the right.


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## sun shine (Jul 6, 2016)

happily_married said:


> I don't mean to brag, but my wife's body looks similar to that girl on the right.



Brag dude she's so hot.


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## towmater (Jul 7, 2016)

well thanks, didn't think bringing up a subject would wound you.where do i find this literature you discuss? it doesn't exist..i read a post from someone identifying themselves as a professor saying this study was done..i'm glad it didn't hold up here to be honest..Don't need another thing to pin on mom..thanks all, let me know about the literature bro.


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