# What's in a Label?



## TallFatSue (Jan 19, 2010)

National Public Radio: Modern Marriages: The Rise Of The Sugar Mama
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=122612096
Quote: "The joke used to be that some women went to college to get their M.R.S.  that is, a husband. In sheer economic terms, marriage was long the best way for a woman to get ahead. But a study by the Pew Research Center finds that there's been a role reversal when it comes to men, women and the economics of marriage."

Good gravy, yet another label! We women have made great strides in the past few decades, only to be hit with new labels: "sugar mama", "cougar", etc. Grrrr. 

This was on the radio on my drive to work this morning, and labels or no labels methinx at least I was born at exactly the right time to take advantage of better opportunities just opening up for women in the 1970s. Lotsa other girls in my university classes were indeed trying to earn their M.R.S. degrees, but not me. That's because my mother had drummed it into my head time and again that I was wayyyy too fat ever to attract a good husband, so I'd better get good grades, earn a good degree and pursue a good career. At the same time, my mother warned me not to appear "too smart" in front of the boys.  I thought her values were soooo 1950s, but the career part turned out well, and ironically I did get my M.R.S. degree too, even though it just kinda sorta fell into my lap! :smitten:

Depending on the economy and other conditions, some years I earn more than my husband and some years vice versa. Considering the economy now, we've had to tighten our belts a little (or maybe my waist is just getting bigger again), but we consider ourselves equal partners (what's mine is mine and what's his is mine  ), so we'll get through this okay. Someone needled Art and he had the perfect comeback, short and sweet. Interrogator: "Doesn't it bother you if your wife earns more than you?" Art: "Nope." 

When Art & I first began to date wayyyy back in 1977, I was 20 and he was 18, and some people said I was "robbing the cradle" because he was 2 years younger -- 2 friggin' years younger! Of course, if the boy was older, that was oky doky. And his friends had more than a few choice terms for me because I was so tall and fat, and an "older woman". Maybe nowadays I would have been labeled a "cougar" instead of a "cradle robber". The more things change, the more they stay the same. 

Being women and being fat does put us behind the 8 ball in so many ways, but it does have certain advantages. In the workforce, I can use my size to be assertive and motivate people without being labeled a "pushy broad". They have other labels for me, but at least those I've heard just make me smile and shake my head. Once upon a time I made the mistake of saying that in high school some kids nicknamed me "Suzy Bigfoot" ("When Sue puts her foot down, stand clear!" Sure glad I never told them about the nickname "Whale Belly"!  ). Though I do remember one disruptive employee being escorted out of the building several years ago after I managed to get rid of him without technically firing him ("That big fat ass Sue fired me!" "No she didn't. You resigned in front of 6 witnesses and we accepted your resignation."). Most of the other managers are men, and one irony is that my size seems to make most of them regard me as "one of the guys" -- even though these sizable breasts of mine just might indicate otherwise. Oh well, gotta go with the flow I guess, especially if it helps me make end runs around them and some of the obstacles they toss in my way.


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