# Homebound...



## bigjayne66

I have been advised by a much respected long time member of these forums to start this particular thread here,as it is a serious question,and I don't want it to turn into a farce like one thread did on the weight board recently.
I have been homebound for about 2 years,due to a combination of weight,lack of mobility,weakness of legs,and stupid people out there who have nothing better to do than ridicule SSBBWs.
How many of you here are also homebound,and the cause of it,if you are willing to discuss.I am looking to make friends with people who have disability,weight caused or otherwise,and also those who have agoraphobia,as i am trying to understand the condition.
Thanks to you all 
Jayne x


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## Flutterby68

Hi Jayne

I'm not a SSBBW, nor am I homebound. However, my husband has a disability that affects his mobility and it is going to get progressively worse. He is overweight right now at 260, and the extra weight DOES definitely factor in. He is 41, and it is expected that by age 50 or so (particularly if he doesn't lose weight) he'll be confined to a wheelchair, and unable to move much without severe pain. As it is, he often has trouble dressing/undressing and tying his own shoes.

As for agoraphobia, I have somewhat of a mild case myself. It's not that I don't like to go out, but I do prefer to be in comfortable surroundings - home, friends' homes, places that are familiar. I have social anxiety, and large crowds of people make me nervous. I HATE parties unless I am the host, because that way I can control the guest list. I no longer sing publicly either, even in front of people I know well. Essentially, it seems that although my world is of a decent size, it is much smaller than it was even 10 years ago, and I get less comfortable as time goes on. 

Good luck 
Anna


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Well. Where do I start? I'm in the Uk too....England to be exact. The treatment of ssbbws here has made me agoraphobic....or more like, dontwantoputupwithshitaphobic. So I stay home lots. I've only been out of the house for dr's appointments for the past 5 months. It's a depressing life because I used to be so out going and the life of the party. I do find it a bit odd that people become so immobile and housebound at such small sizes in this country, but then again everywhere requires loads of walking...so I could see how it would be easier to not bother.

I'm not happy with my situation at all....I have an independent spirit and I can't seem to forget how fun I used to be.


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## Ernest Nagel

Jayne, as a relatively new member you may not be aware that there's a special, private forum just for SSBBW over 450lbs? I think you need to have more posts but perhaps a mod can tell you how to apply? I believe they can more openly discuss issues such as this out of view from those less sensitive. Good luck, btw.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Ernest Nagel said:


> Jayne, as a relatively new member you may not be aware that there's a special, private forum just for SSBBW over 450lbs? I think you need to have more posts but perhaps a mod can tell you how to apply? I believe they can more openly discuss issues such as this out of view from those less sensitive. Good luck, btw.




Doh! LOL. Why didn't I think of that?!?! LOL. I think the weight requirement is like 350 or something....I could be wrong though.

Jayne, if you want more information private message BigBeautifulMe she's one of the mods and can tell you what requirements there are to participate.


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## bigjayne66

Thanks for your input,Ernest and Big Belly,actually I am not QUITE 400lbs but my legs are not good,I will consider applying for the private forum in a month or so once I have found my feet here and made a few friends and acquaintances,oh and I am saying ...
Do as I say,not as I do...don't let anyone grind you down,I would get a scooter and go out but there arte too many unruly teens round here.


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## Sugar

Jayne, I'm sorry to hear about unruly teens being dbags to you. 

I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and the doctor has yet to get it under control so twice in the past year I've been taken off work and I've not left the house for a couple months at a time. Right now is one of those times. 

I'm pretty social and chatty and the majority of my friends are in their 20's and quite active...so I've really felt left out of my old life for the past year.

Dimensions has been a lifesaver. My roommate is also really great. He keeps me company and helps me with things I can't do like cooking, cleaning, laundry. 

Eventually it's expected I can go back to a "normal" routine, but I was told that a year ago and that didn't happen. For now I assume this is the status quo which for me personally helps. I like consistency. 

I hope you keep your chin up, and I'd really urge you to look into the SSBBW board. The mods there are totally great and most of the women there can relate to your issues. 

_FTR I'm not on the board because I'm not a SSBBW_


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## bigjayne66

Sugar,I am starting to get pains in my knee joints,so I know I need to lose weight,On the other hand,I suffer mild to moderate depression which makes me want to eat for comfort purposes,I havent been outside my front door since early September,if I need fresh air I have a small yard round the back which is very private,I have a bench to sit on there,but it's a small world,like it probably is for quite a few posting here and my thoughts are with you all.


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## Sugar

I do know where you are coming from Jayne. I've been diagnosed clinically depressed and I'm steroids for the RA which has made my mood one of tears and anger for the better part of three weeks. T

You may want to check out this thread. 

There is a bunch of support on dims if you know where to look. Even if it's some fun games in the lounge or chat for company. 

(((Hugs)))


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## moore2me

bigjayne66 said:


> I have been advised by a much respected long time member of these forums to start this particular thread here,as it is a serious question,and I don't want it to turn into a farce like one thread did on the weight board recently.
> *I have been homebound for about 2 years,*due to a combination of weight,lack of mobility,weakness of legs,and *stupid people out there who have nothing better to do than ridicule SSBBWs*.
> How many of you here are also homebound,and the cause of it,if you are willing to discuss.*I am looking to make friends with people who have *disability,weight caused or otherwise,and also those who have agoraphobia,as i am trying to understand the condition.
> Thanks to you all
> Jayne x





bigjayne66 said:


> *Sugar,I am starting to get pains in my knee joints,so I know I need to lose weight*,On the other hand,I *suffer mild to moderate depression *which makes me want to eat for comfort purposes,*I havent been outside my front door since early September*,if I need fresh air I have a small yard round the back which is very private,I have a bench to sit on there,but it's a small world,like it probably is for quite a few posting here and my thoughts are with you all.





bigjayne66 said:


> Thanks for your input,Ernest and Big Belly,actually I am not QUITE 400lbs but my legs are not good,I will consider applying for the private forum in a month or so once I have found my feet here and made a few friends and acquaintances,oh and I am saying ...
> Do as I say,not as I do...*don't let anyone grind you down,I would get a scooter and go out but there arte too many unruly teens round here*.



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And the following is quoted from bigjayne's post on another forum . . . . .

I am 5'4 and teetering close to the 400 pound mark ,my heart,blood pressure and blood sugar,cholesterol all good for my size,*but my legs have trouble taking my weight*,even though I am pear shaped andthe legs are very chunky..." (end quote)
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Hello Jayne, I have a couple of suggestions that might help. First, goes to the part of your quotes in bold black print. If your legs and knees can take some exercise this would help build your muscles stronger and they would better serve your needs. You can even decrease knee pain and strain by building muscle strenth and recruiting new muscles to help carry the load.

The exerecises can be milder at first. You can sit on the edge of your bed or sit in a chair and do leg raises and side to side leg swings. Also tie some small weights to your ankles to further improve the results. There are other chair or bed exercise you can do -- I can get you more if you need some. Just PM me.

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My second suggestion is to your comments that are bolded in blue in the quotes above. (Sugar also had similar advice.) If your clinical depression is affecting your life so much that you have trouble leaving your home - you need professional help. You should seek a counselor that could help you control this demon & let you out of the house more.


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## moore2me

My previous post ran off before I was finished, so here's the last of it - the third suggestion. If this one sound's too stoopid, just write it off to another crazy American idea. This is in reference to the quotes from my previous post that are *bolded in red*.

How about hiring a temporary bodyguard when you want to go out in public? If you want to use a scooter or take a bus, they could travel with you for a few hours and by their presence, scare off the unruly teens. You could hire a woman or a man - whatever you are more comfortable with. I would check with police unions (for off duty cops) or gyms (for athletic trainers, boxers, maritial arts folks), or even bars (for bouncers). Remember a lot of impotent folks have bodyguards.

As to $$$$, I imagine you can find someone who needs a few pounds who would be willing to help a disabled lady (and is sick of the neighborhood jackals preying on men & women). Heck an entrepreneur might even set up a business and hire these bodyguards out to accompany people on their trips around the city.


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## bigjayne66

Thank you Moore to me...I will attempt do do some exercises,without overdoing it at first of course,Ihave not been physically assaulted by the yob element ,just jeered at occasionally,they have nothing better to do....As for the depression I have a counsellor who visits me every other week,but it is painfully slow progress,
But I wonder what my late husband would think if he could see me now,he died suddenly,and he would be sad to see me in the state I am in....


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## moore2me

bigjayne66 said:


> Thank you Moore to me...I will attempt do do some exercises,without overdoing it at first of course,Ihave not been physically assaulted by the yob element ,just jeered at occasionally,they have nothing better to do....As for the depression I have a counsellor who visits me every other week,but it is painfully slow progress,
> *But I wonder what my late husband would think if he could see me now,he died suddenly,and he would be sad to see me in the state I am in...*.



I was very close to my father who also died suddenly. However, with time I grew to feel that my father's spirit could see me and could help me just like he did when he was here in person. Of course, not with the physical things like money, or fixing my car, or standing up for me when someone treated me badly - but I could feel his advice, and believe he helped me sort out problems. 

Not knowing your late husband, I can only guess that he would do the same things in spirit that his nature did in life. And like my dad, instead of being sad about the state I am in, he would give me some gentle encouragement and drive so that I could help myself get a little better -first one step, then another, then another. When I got off course or had an episode of back sliding, dad would encourage me to get back up and resume working on getting better. One hard lesson he also helped me deal with is sometimes life sends you a problem that cannot be cured. When these things happen, he taught me to make the best of my situation, but not to forget to continue to face life in a positive way and keeping working on self improvement.


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## Tad

bigjayne66 said:


> But I wonder what my late husband would think if he could see me now,he died suddenly,and he would be sad to see me in the state I am in....



Most likely he'd be sad that he wasn't there to help you.....and likely he'd be urging you to grab what help you could get to bring your life to a place where you are happier with it.


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## bigjayne66

moore2me said:


> I was very close to my father who also died suddenly. However, with time I grew to feel that my father's spirit could see me and could help me just like he did when he was here in person. Of course, not with the physical things like money, or fixing my car, or standing up for me when someone treated me badly - but I could feel his advice, and believe he helped me sort out problems.
> 
> Not knowing your late husband, I can only guess that he would do the same things in spirit that his nature did in life. And like my dad, instead of being sad about the state I am in, he would give me some gentle encouragement and drive so that I could help myself get a little better -first one step, then another, then another. When I got off course or had an episode of back sliding, dad would encourage me to get back up and resume working on getting better. One hard lesson he also helped me deal with is sometimes life sends you a problem that cannot be cured. When these things happen, he taught me to make the best of my situation, but not to forget to continue to face life in a positive way and keeping working on self improvement.



Thank you so much,you are an inspiration,
Hugs for you,Jayne


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## TallFatSue

moore2me said:


> If your legs and knees can take some exercise this would help build your muscles stronger and they would better serve your needs. You can even decrease knee pain and strain by building muscle strenth and recruiting new muscles to help carry the load.


Very true. It's important to keep using the muscles in your legs. Last year when I weighed over 500lb, I began to have some mobility problems. My weight didn't immobilise me, but it became more of a challenge to move, which made me less inclined to do so. The problem was that the less I moved, the harder it became to move, and I didn't want to slide down that path. So I resisted the temptation to remain in my comfy desk chair all day, and instead I tried to get up more and walk around the office when I needed to talk to someone, rather then simply phone them at their desks. It really helped my legs, and I felt better too in the long run.


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## TallFatSue

TallFatSue said:


> Last year when I weighed over 500lb...


PS. Generally I am very comfortable in my own abundant skin, maybe a little too much sometimes -- BUT -- I'll probably never entirely rid myself of a slight undercurrent of feeling a bit like a supersize freak in daily life trying to fit in with the world. One aspect I love about Dimensions, and which I miss when I'm away from it, is here I can say things like "Last year when I weighed over 500lb," as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Which it is, in my case. Simple things like this are terrific booster shots for my self-confidence.


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## bigjayne66

TallFatSue said:


> PS. Generally I am very comfortable in my own abundant skin, maybe a little too much sometimes -- BUT -- I'll probably never entirely rid myself of a slight undercurrent of feeling a bit like a supersize freak in daily life trying to fit in with the world. One aspect I love about Dimensions, and which I miss when I'm away from it, is here I can say things like "Last year when I weighed over 500lb," as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Which it is, in my case. Simple things like this are terrific booster shots for my self-confidence.



I feel as I don't fit in too well,I am trying very hard to gain confidence,but there is always something going on that knocks me back,I admire those here who have the ability to say 'to hell with fat haters'and carry on with life regardless of other peoples comments.


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## bigjayne66

Going to bring the thread to the top of the page again,hoping more members will share their experiences of being homebound and how it affects you,also agoraphobia which used to affect me after my husband passed away,and how have people coped or dealt with the condition..


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## moore2me

bigjayne66 said:


> Going to bring the thread to the top of the page again,hoping more members will share their experiences of being homebound and how it affects you,also agoraphobia which used to affect me after my husband passed away,and how have people coped or dealt with the condition..



Hi Jayne,

You may be tired of hearing from me by now, but perhaps I can put a few more pieces in the puzzle. My fear of people at one time was pretty strong. I wanted to go into a cave or a dark place and be left alone - forever. I wanted to be invisible. At one time I read a book called "Perfume" and the main character (part animal) was able to spend time in a burrow like a creature in hibernation. That sounded great to me at the time. I know now that I was headed in a bad direction.

I went on battling these feelings for a year or so until I was diagnosed with a chronic progressive disease in my brain. The doctor told me that the depression (among other neural issues) probably was in the most part due to changes in my brain. She prescribed antidepressants and I tried several until we settled on Zoloft as working best for me. I have been taking it for almost ten years now. I no longer want to hide from people or live in caves or dark places.

*Jayne - you mentioned that a counselor visited you periodically. Could this person help you with some antidepressant medications? (or maybe they already have?) *

A side note - I still have panic attacks in certain severe crowd situations. Some like having to sit on an airplane full of people, or attend a speech in a crowded room, or shop in a crowded store - can trigger a panic attack. My heart starts racing, I start getting ready to bolt, I get nauseated. and will faint if I don't get out. To keep me from being arrested by an air marshall or a mall cop, I take a few anxiety pills (Zanex) 30 mins before boarding.

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*
I have another question - totally unrelated to weight issues. I notice on your profile you are from Scaborough. Is that the same place that the famous song by Simon & Garfunkel was written about? "Are You Going To Scarborough Fair?"*


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## bigjayne66

Yes,Its that Scarborough,its a very scenic place,google Scarborough tourist guide 
to see for yourself.
My counsellor has referred me to a doctor ,my neighbour is taking me on Friday,it's only half a mile but I can't walk 15 yards although I am attempting some of your recommended exercise in a limited fashion.


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## Miss Vickie

Jayne I hope you're able to see your doctor and perhaps look into taking medication to help you manage your feelings better. Long term pain and illness can actually change our brain chemistry over time, so even when things get better, our brains still have a hard time making enough seratonin to keep our mood up. Taking SSRI's can really help boost that to give us the energy and space to be more hopeful and look forward in our lives.

Best of luck to you, Jayne. I really feel for you, and I hope things improve for you.


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## Jes

bigjayne66 said:


> ,also agoraphobia which used to affect me after my husband passed away.



How were you able to move past this, jayne? will you share more of your story? I imagine things were difficult for you, but it sounds like you've had some progress. good for you.


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## bigjayne66

Jes said:


> How were you able to move past this, jayne? will you share more of your story? I imagine things were difficult for you, but it sounds like you've had some progress. good for you.



My agoraphobia got bad after my weight got past 300lbs,stopped going out,ate more,gained more weight,I was devastated after losing my husband six years ago,I am a very sensitive person and easily scared or upset,and the local teenagers teased me to the point that I could'nt face them,so became more and more scared of being exposed.
My next door neighbour has been very sympathetic and helpful,and is trying her best to help me,she has a car but its a small one and I only just fit in the passenger seat...


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## TraciJo67

Hi, Jayne. I have worked with people who've had some degree of agoraphobia. I am wondering if you have been formally diagnosed, and if so, did your physician discuss cognitive behavioral therapy with you? Have you been prescribed any anti-anxiety and/or anti-depressant medications? Have you been diagnosed with a panic disorder, in conjunction with (or caused by) your agoraphobia? And how much is this condition complicated by your physical difficulties (in other words, if the condition itself were cured, would you still find it difficult or impossible to leave your home)? Many of my clients found some relief with a combination of SSRIs (such as Paxil or Zoloft) and anti-anxiety meds (Xanax, Ativan) BUT these meds work best in conjunction with some form of therapy. 

Just wanted to give you a few references, and wish you the best:

http://www.npadnews.com (National Panic/Anxiety Disorder News)
http://www.freedomfromfear.org
http://www.adaa.org (Anxiety Disorders Association of America)

I'm not sure where you are located, but each of these sites should have some relevant information, anyway.


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## bigjayne66

TraciJo67 said:


> Hi, Jayne. I have worked with people who've had some degree of agoraphobia. I am wondering if you have been formally diagnosed, and if so, did your physician discuss cognitive behavioral therapy with you? Have you been prescribed any anti-anxiety and/or anti-depressant medications? Have you been diagnosed with a panic disorder, in conjunction with (or caused by) your agoraphobia? And how much is this condition complicated by your physical difficulties (in other words, if the condition itself were cured, would you still find it difficult or impossible to leave your home)? Many of my clients found some relief with a combination of SSRIs (such as Paxil or Zoloft) and anti-anxiety meds (Xanax, Ativan) BUT these meds work best in conjunction with some form of therapy.
> 
> Just wanted to give you a few references, and wish you the best:
> 
> http://www.npadnews.com (National Panic/Anxiety Disorder News)
> http://www.freedomfromfear.org
> http://www.adaa.org (Anxiety Disorders Association of America)
> 
> I'm not sure where you are located, but each of these sites should have some relevant information, anyway.



Thank you ,this will be discussed with my doctor later this week,the phobia not quite as bad in the last 2 years but mobility problems taken over...


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## moore2me

bigjayne66 said:


> Yes,Its that Scarborough,its a very scenic place,google Scarborough tourist guide
> to see for yourself.
> My counsellor has referred me to a doctor ,my neighbour is taking me on Friday,it's only half a mile but I can't walk 15 yards although I am attempting some of your recommended exercise in a limited fashion.



Jayne,

Visiting a doctor sounds like a good plan. I encourage you to get out and start re-entering the world. However I am concerned about your safety due to lack of mobility as you have described it. How far is it to the doctor's office from where you will be let off? Will you have assistance in going to the doctor's office (such as a wheelchair or walker)? Your safety in walking to and from the doctors office should be a priority. How long has it been since you have walked that far or since you have gotten in and out of the transport vehicle? 

If you have to travel more than the 15 yards, you may need a *bariatric wheelchair*. If the doctor's office is in a hospital, they probably have these available to use. Insist that they get one for you if you can. I have had my fat butt trapped in a regular size wheelchair and I thought I would never get out. I have actually had to call 911 (emergency assistance) to get me out of a tight seat before. And this was in a public shopping area.

I would use humor with the person helping transport me I would tell them that if they want me to drop my butt in that little wheelchair, they need to go to some Vaseline or Crisco and oil my behind down first because that was the only way I was going to pop out of that space.

Another possibility is to use a *bariatric walker* that has rollers and a seat you can use when you need to rest. I have one of these that also folds and can be put in a vehicle for travel. However, because these walkers are so sturdy, they are heavier (and more expensive) than regular ones. Bariatric walkers come in a variety of weight ratings and several manufacturers have models available. Mine is from _Convaquip_ at http://www.convaquip.com/catalog/index.php?cPath=31

Another source is _Hugo _at http://www.1800wheelchair.com/asp/view-product.asp?product_id=3038, or thru _Amazon_, etc. http://www.health.goolian.com/index.php?case=product&proddb=9&pid=2421


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## bigjayne66

I can walk slowly as I have a strong walking stick (a metal hospital issue one) also wecan park next to the entrance,I am doing extra walking round the flat and yard to get my body working more,gonna get berated over my weight again,every visit in the last year I have gained some..
And my kindly neighbour will be with me.


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## MizzSnakeBite

bigjayne66 said:


> gonna get berated over my weight again,every visit in the last year I have gained some..
> And my kindly neighbour will be with me.



(((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))

MizzSnakeBite


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## bigjayne66

Thanks,at least some folks on here are aware that some days are a struggle ,both physically and psychologically,also ,if I have hit 400lbs my doc will go loopy...


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## SocialbFly

bigjayne66 said:


> Thanks,at least some folks on here are aware that some days are a struggle ,both physically and psychologically,also ,if I have hit 400lbs my doc will go loopy...



Big Jayne, cut him/her off at the pass, tell them you know your weight is up, butthat is part of the reason you are there...you want to get healthier and more active. I find a proactive approach with medicine works well, also, a suggestion...make a list of things YOU want to talk to him/her about, so you stick to the things you need to take care of you...this visit is to get you where you need to be, be honest and as open as you feel you can be, dont be embarassed, it is what it is...have them help you now...and if you find he/she berates you, tell them you are trying to do things for yourself and that their actions are not helping you...explain why, you deserve treatment that is empathetic and useful, berating you is NOT that....


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## MLadyJ

bigjayne66 said:


> I can walk slowly as I have a strong walking stick (a metal hospital issue one) also wecan park next to the entrance,I am doing extra walking round the flat and yard to get my body working more,gonna get berated over my weight again,every visit in the last year I have gained some..
> And my kindly neighbour will be with me.



Jayne , I can empathize with that "weighing" thing and the Dr. office...but here is something you might try...when they ask you to weigh..in a calm voice say NO or NO not today. Someone had recommended that to me and it has been so liberating..at some Drs ( like my kidney or enocrinologist) they ae pretty insistent and I know why..I have reduce kidney function and diabetes. I will weigh there........because I know it's for them to assess my health..but on a regular old Drs appt..I just say no.

I also have been housebound at different times and unfortunately it gets to be way too comfortable to just stay home. I use a scooter and it really helps to have someone with you..if only to talk to..so that you can ignore arrogant assholes (did I say that???? LOL!!) to tend to let their mouths override their good sense or manners.

good luck..keep us informed


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## bigjayne66

Hopefully will have the best doctor tomorrow,I don't know if my will power will hold out on a much dreaded weight loss program,but I will not consider surgery as I have heard so many bad stories,would be happy to get to 300 and stay there,but food is my friend.


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## bigjayne66

Doc was very gentle with me,he has made me an appointment with a dietician ,he says with some weight loss my confidence will start to return,but he is dragging his feet on medication at this stage-I did get weighed with gentle persuasion -not QUITE 400 but very close...


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## MizzSnakeBite

bigjayne66 said:


> Doc was very gentle with me,he has made me an appointment with a dietician ,he says with some weight loss my confidence will start to return,but he is dragging his feet on medication at this stage-I did get weighed with gentle persuasion -not QUITE 400 but very close...



I'm so glad you were able to been seen by a compassionate doctor.  I hope the dietitian will be able to help you.
Hugs,
Mizz


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## moore2me

Jayne,

Honey, I am glad you came thru the doctor visit and things went much better than expected!! How did your walking and physical transferring from home to the doctors go? Do you think you can use the progress made in regards to your trip as another step on the road to recovery? Just keep moving forward with baby steps.


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## Shosh

Hi Jayne,

I am sorry that you are treated so badly by horrible ignorant people. You should not have to face that kind of harrassment when you leave your home.
xo
Shoshie


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## TallFatSue

bigjayne66 said:


> Doc was very gentle with me,he has made me an appointment with a dietician ,he says with some weight loss my confidence will start to return,but he is dragging his feet on medication at this stage-I did get weighed with gentle persuasion -not QUITE 400 but very close...


My fat-friendly doctor is wonderful, and I go out of my way to see her for one of my regular exams.


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## bigjayne66

MizzSnakeBite said:


> I'm so glad you were able to been seen by a compassionate doctor.  I hope the dietitian will be able to help you.
> Hugs,
> Mizz



I have to be reasonably careful what I wriite as there seems to have been some rumpus on the main board where a member has quit dims for talking about weight loss,at least I hope this health forum is a more appropriate spot,and I must emphasize I will always be a BBW,but SSBBW is crushing me slowly,I just wish there were a bit more tolerance on this site and less bitching (even from the guys)
My healthy eating plan involves phasing out gradually a lot of the junk food,my dietician says fruit should still give a feel good factor..


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## bigjayne66

moore2me said:


> Jayne,
> 
> Honey, I am glad you came thru the doctor visit and things went much better than expected!! How did your walking and physical transferring from home to the doctors go? Do you think you can use the progress made in regards to your trip as another step on the road to recovery? Just keep moving forward with baby steps.



Making it to the doctors was a little uncomfortable,but not a titanic struggle,I felt worse in the 10 minutes sat waiting to see him,I pretended not to notice,but there were two middle aged men talking in hushed voices and glancing my way and that sort of behaviour is embarrassing to say the least.
My neighbour swapped seats so I was partially obscured from their view,she didn't say anything but scowled at them and they averted their stares before long,she can stab people with a dirty look lol.
I coped with the visit ok have to be re assessed in a months time.


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## bigjayne66

Shosh said:


> Hi Jayne,
> 
> I am sorry that you are treated so badly by horrible ignorant people. You should not have to face that kind of harrassment when you leave your home.
> xo
> Shoshie



(((((((((((((SHOSH))))))))))))) Hugs for you


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## joswitch

Hi Jayne - just a thought - you mentioned that in preparation for your successful visit to your doctor that you were doing more walking around your flat and in the safe, private space of your yard.. Although your visit to the doctor has now passed, are you continuing your walking in your home/yard? This seems to be helping you build reserves of confidence and physical strength.. Both useful in improving your freedom and quality of life... And kudos to your helpful neighbour too... Best of luck with everything.. *hugs*


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## bigjayne66

Yeah,going to keep up the gentle exercise,and trying not to trip over my dog,he is not very big,he likes to run circles round me,he is only young and full of mischief..


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## Shosh

bigjayne66 said:


> (((((((((((((SHOSH))))))))))))) Hugs for you



You are very welcome.

Jayne do not let other ignorant people dictate to you, about the movements of your life.
You only get to live once, and you should feel free to leave your home without being subjected to the rudeness and abuse of others.
Do not let them win.
It took me a long time to learn that, but I will be damned if I will let the nastiness of others curtail the activities of my life.
I weigh about 250 pounds, and I live in a fat phobic country, but I am going to go swimming this summer in my bathing suit, with no t shirt covering it.
They do not like it, they can kiss my ass.

The gentle exercise sounds a winner too for you! Good onya!:bow:


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## moore2me

bigjayne66 said:


> I have to be reasonably careful what I wriite as there seems to have been some rumpus on the main board where a member has quit dims for talking about weight loss,at least I hope this health forum is a more appropriate spot,and I must emphasize I will always be a BBW,but SSBBW is crushing me slowly,I just wish there were a bit more tolerance on this site and less bitching (even from the guys)
> My healthy eating plan involves phasing out gradually a lot of the junk food,my dietician says fruit should still give a feel good factor..



Jayne, 

No one at DIMs will criticize you for learning to eat food that is more healthy for your body. One problem we fatties is sometimes we overload on one or two food groups and leave out certain essential food groups necessary to maintain good health. My doctors usually make me get a "truck load" of blood work every year to see if I am deficient in any vitamins, minerals, or have too much sugar or other elements out of wack in my blood or urine.

And every year, I usually show up with something wrong in my blood tests. This year it was a low level of iron and a low level of B12. The doctors advised me on what was needed in a eating plan and supplements as well. But, my point is - even by overeating, I was not eating the right stuff to maintain red blood cells, fight disease, and other essentials functions. So, go to the dietician & learn what you need in your diet. Chances are, you will find some ways to make you feel better & improve your metabolism & health.

And everyone has a weight at which they feel their best and function at their best. This level is different for all of us. From your previous posts, I gathered that you are not comfortable with 400 pounds. The weight, along with your fear of going out, had rendered you homebound. Now, you are trying to get out and move around more. This is wonderful. If you would feel better and move more easily losing weight - go for it. More power to you. If you need any help running interference for you - there are plenty of us that would have your back (or front) on this.




bigjayne66 said:


> Yeah,going to keep up the gentle exercise,and trying not to trip over my dog,he is not very big,he likes to run circles round me,he is only young and full of mischief..



Actually, our Center for Disease Control has pointed out that tripping and falling over the family dog is a very real problem for many people who have poor mobility. As we navigate around our homes, we often try to step over or are tripped up by Rover. The CDC has gone so far as to come up with some suggestions for making your home a little safer from this canine tripping threat.
http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/mm5811a1.htm


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## moore2me

Shosh said:


> You are very welcome.
> 
> Jayne do not let other ignorant people dictate to you, about the movements of your life.
> You only get to live once, and you should feel free to leave your home without being subjected to the rudeness and abuse of others.
> Do not let them win.
> It took me a long time to learn that, but I will be damned if I will let the nastiness of others curtail the activities of my life.
> I weigh about 250 pounds, and I live in a fat phobic country, but I am going to go swimming this summer in my bathing suit, with no t shirt covering it.
> They do not like it, they can kiss my ass.
> 
> The gentle exercise sounds a winner too for you! Good onya!:bow:




Soshe,

You go girl - - - Unless, you need to wear that T shirt due to keeping the sun off that delicate skin of yours. You have already talked about the dangers of skin cancer and you know how to keep yourself safe from that blistering sun and its UV radiation.

Sometimes we need a T shirt and sunscreen and a hat and to not go out during peak sunlight hours.


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## bigjayne66

Shosh said:


> You are very welcome.
> 
> Jayne do not let other ignorant people dictate to you, about the movements of your life.
> You only get to live once, and you should feel free to leave your home without being subjected to the rudeness and abuse of others.
> Do not let them win.
> It took me a long time to learn that, but I will be damned if I will let the nastiness of others curtail the activities of my life.
> I weigh about 250 pounds, and I live in a fat phobic country, but I am going to go swimming this summer in my bathing suit, with no t shirt covering it.
> They do not like it, they can kiss my ass.
> 
> The gentle exercise sounds a winner too for you! Good onya!:bow:



Thank you Shosh,half of me wishes I were 250 again was that about 5 years ago,but like the BBW in me now more and 300 will do for me,I just don't want to be in the state I am in now...I have read some of your past posts and you have a lot to put up with,and I admire your ability to cope.


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## bigjayne66

Moore2me,I have tried letting Dogbert out when I have finished my exercise and can sit on the bench and let him run around me.


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## moore2me

Dogbert . . . .Dilbert . . .One of my favorite cartoons!

What kind of doggie is Dogbert?


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## bigjayne66

moore2me said:


> Dogbert . . . .Dilbert . . .One of my favorite cartoons!
> 
> What kind of doggie is Dogbert?



Dogbert is a West highland terrier,when I get round to buying a new PC will post some pics in the Lounge (rep your pets thread)
He is my life and stops me getting to bored...


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## bigjayne66

Just wanted to thank everyone who posted on this thread for their input
A little advice and help goes a long way,I am keeping in touch with two folks I found on here,and if any other readers of these boards who are mostly or totally homebound would like to talk and share experiences please don't hesitate to PM me
Jayne


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## Weirdo890

I wish there was something I could do to help you with the situation.


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## truebebeblue

For about 5 years I was home bound due to agoraphobia and mobility/health issues.
I was about 500 lbs at my highest weight.
I know how the anxiety mixed with stress on your muscles and cardio system can work like a big panic cycle... you start getting tired,getting shaky,freak out ... repeat...it really sucks. then you are trying not to call attention to yourself. i didn't go into a public place like a grocery store etc for a solid 3 yrs.

I ultimately had WLS ..but let me tell you what I did previous to that.
I had an awesome doctor who insisted I do a full year of physical therapy.
When I started physical therapy I could walk 50 feet and stand for 30 seconds.
He insisted that before I had surgery I would need to be able to walk continuously for more than 10 minutes (to prevent blood clots after surgery). 
I went 3x a week an hour each day and at first it was all just sitting strengthening exercise with light weights and icing after wards for pain 
Then we moved onto recreating activities I needed to do at home.. like stand and fold laundry or walking holding a full laundry basket etc. I lost 50 lbs in that year by just moving more and I was able to stand for 10 minutes and walk for 15 before I concluded my treatment. I felt safe there (anxiety meds helped in the beginning) 
I think most of my agoraphobia was wrapped up in my physical state. I am still fat and get stared at etc. I just don't notice or care.Crowded places still make me nervous but I can handle it. I felt better every day I went and every day that I made progress. I would ask your doctor for a prescription for it... really couldn't hurt.

I hope that helps! good luck... Feel free to PM with any questions.



True


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## GutsGirl

Hi, 

Maybe this blog, Living 400 Pounds might be useful to those, like Jayne, who need strength-building exercises for their legs and core muscles. It has a lot of exercises and exercise tips, with really helpful links to GIFs that show how the exercise movements work.


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## Jes

GutsGirl said:


> Hi,
> 
> Maybe this blog, Living 400 Pounds might be useful to those, like Jayne, who need strength-building exercises for their legs and core muscles. It has a lot of exercises and exercise tips, with really helpful links to GIFs that show how the exercise movements work.



I think Jayne is happy now, from what I've read. Happy and gaining. I'll be interested to see that blog, though. Thanks for the link.


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## spiritangel

Glad this thread got bumped up, I was pretty much housebound quite a few years ago now with the previous ex I would still go out but it became such a hard thing to do owing to health reasons, 

my way through it was making the bears and beading if I haddnt have found a passion for bear making not sure I would have made it through it at all.

I dont get out much where I am, but I do try and make sure I do stuff everyday be it working on my course, bear making scrapbooking knitting or one of the other myriad of things I do, I also try and move around my house loads 

I think it is important to feel good about who you are, and to make sure you have stuff to look forward to in each day, 

for me if I had people I wanted to hang out with ect I would be going out and doing stuff, and often have moments where I will break with routine and just get out and about. I love doing my bear shows but two days of smiling and being nice to people can take its toll

It sounds like Jayne you are getting on top of your fears and for anyone that is a huge journey 
thanks for asking the questions and sharing your story


when I first split with the previous ex I couldnt even make it through the supermarket to do all my groceries and had to taxi it there and back, now if I am in the mood I can actually go to more than one supermarket and walk from one end of town to the other, not that I dont get sore (sometimes I think I need a man to help with the heavy stuff) or that it doesnt wear me out just that I can do way more than I used to and that in itself makes me happy 

I think our journies are all so simmilar yet different its a matter of finding what works for you.


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## Orchid

hello
I am mostly home due to heart failure and PH
greetings Orchid


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## moore2me

Hi Orchid,

Nice to talk to you across the world. 'Sorry to hear about your heart problem tho. What is PH?

What is the prognosis for your kind of heart disease? Will you ever be able to get up and about? 

I noticed you love to cook and collect cookbooks. What kind of diet are you on now? 

(I have some disability but am not currently homebound. I am interested in the difference in treatment of chronic health problems in areas around the world - and learning about what kind of health care you get compared to ours in the US.)


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## Orchid

hello moore2me
nice to hear from you
in answer of your question PH = pulmonary hypertension which is high blood pressure in the veins arteries of the lungs
I have heart failure stage 4 diagnosed since spring 2008
Which I got from the flu allthough I did have the flu shot every year.
I had some mild heart failure before that and a mitral valve repair in 2002.
I have a great cardiologist who keeps me alive with a cardiac resynchronisation pacemaker & medicines and he gave me back quality of life. I can function at home do my things but outside I still tire easily after a short time so can not go shopping .
I still walk I can go on short holiday but I must not tire myself.
Prognosis for both heart failure and PH is 5 and 2 years but some persons live longer or shorter. Taking good care of oneself and having a very good cardiologist does help I am 50 years now and started with 27 years as a patient at cardiology. Friendly greetings Orchid.


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## Orchid

Not wanting to write a wall of text this is separate to your other question
You ask what diet am I now on?
None is the short answer
With the heart failure in 2008 I lost in total in 6 months illness a third of my weight because I could not eat or drink my internal organs where full of water
Hospital used 2 sorts of IV diuretics to remove 25 lbs of water from my insides
Heart failure causes weight loss 
So I have to watch my nutrition eat small amounts etc Saltfree foods & daily only Fluids 1.5 ltr
For the heart to last a little longer I would have to loose 22 lbs more. 
My cardiologist knows this is very difficult on the one hand being this ill nutrition has to be good. So I avoid processed foods cook from fresh produce.
My cardiologist suggested small plates and small bowls because sometimes with heart failure your appetite is gone or you feel full before eating so I have to eat small portions. I weigh every day to watch for water gains if that happens I have to call hospital. As my doctor says life has to remain sort of pleasant for me so a bonbon or a small glass of wine is allowed after all with or withouts sweets and wine old I will not be. He saved my life twice.


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## moore2me

Orchid,

I learn something everyday - that's why I love this place, along with meeting new people, present company specifically. I did not know that one of the complications of the flu was possible chronic heart failure - bummer! My mother-in-law also had congestive heart failure, and I am somewhat familiar with balancing the water in your body. The water would build up outside her heart and put press on her heart, almost stopping it from beating.

She also had pulmonary hypertension but had a lot of trouble getting it under control. She was taking Potassium pills (water pills), she would forget to eat or drink and she would get nauseous. and even have seizures. She was also a Jehovah's Witness and had some "quirks" about what medical treatment could be used on her.

Your doc sounds like a great guy. The Holy Grail for many here is finding a good, kind, competent doctor who doesn't hate and doesn't excessively chastise fat folks. 

To change the subject for a moment - did you see my new puppy? His picture is here
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=63609&page=8 almost at the bottom of the page.


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## Orchid

just to tell you picture looks cute


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## ConnieLynn

Bump so others can benefit from the information in this thread.


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## Orchid

Still homebound.
Bump this thread, if any other folks are also homebound post here?
So far this year only twice from house. Once for emergency dental work and last week Cardiology.


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## JavaRedmountain8

I have a major binge eating disorder! I mostly go to church grocery shopping dr.s appointments and some family functions! I have to use a power chair most of the time or my legs scream at me or they give out on me and I fall a lot! I swear one time when I was in Walmart because of my big belly I had a hard time getting in to a scooter someone was recording my struggle! I'm 400 pounds and gaining because of my health problems and my binge eating disorder! I'm never full! I can down a whole pizza with n problem and be hungry again in a half an hour then eat a big bag of chips with a large container of French onion dip I absolutely love food especially fattening foods! I can eat a whole brick of cheese and crackers in 1 sitting! I'm probably going to end up housebound in a few years! My doctors have given up on me for losing weight cuz they understand my binge eating disorder!


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## Lightning Man

I hope @JavaRedmountain8 that you find someone to do life with, because it sounds as if you're going to need someone.


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