# Do you think DIMS should have an FA board?



## kayrae

I've been closely watching the Closeted FAs thread as well as the Ambivalence as an [un]closeted FA thread. Seems like there's a bit of clamor for an FA board. I wasn't around when this topic was discussed before and would genuinely like to hear the opposing viewpoints.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Maybe there is a need for one now? I dunno, but Dimensions itself caters to the FA....so it might be a bit redundant to have an FA board.

Although my other half would disagree with me...a lot.


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## mergirl

What would an Fa board achieve?
I'm kinna in two minds about the idea..


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## Shosh

Maybe the men want to have a space where they can discuss all things FA, without feeling like they are going to get cut down by a few women here that are very tough on them.

Not popular, but just a thought.

I don't mind if they have an FA board, it would be good for us to have an equivalent board also.

Somehow I don't think Conrad wants a million boards though, even though he has been very accommodating recently with the addition of a few new boards.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Susannah said:


> Maybe the men want to have a space where they can discuss all things FA, without feeling like they are going to get cut down by a few women here that are very tough on them.
> 
> Not popular, but just a thought.
> 
> I don't mind if they have an FA board, it would be good for us to have an equivalent board also.
> 
> Somehow I don't think Conrad wants a million boards though, even though he has been very accommodating recently with the addition of a few new boards.



Aren't the weight board and the fat sexuality board in effect FA boards?


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## Shosh

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Aren't the weight board and the fat sexuality board in effect FA boards?



I am not sure. A BBW board would be good though.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Susannah said:


> I am not sure. A BBW board would be good though.



But what would be discussed in the BBW board that isn't discussed in the Health board and the clothes board? I know I am over generalising on both accounts....but if we aren't careful we are going to have boards coming out of our asses and I think it could be very divisive as a community.


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## Shosh

BigBellySSBBW said:


> But what would be discussed in the BBW board that isn't discussed in the Health board and the clothes board? I know I am over generalising on both accounts....but if we aren't careful we are going to have boards coming out of our asses and I think it could be very divisive as a community.



You are quite right. As I said I doubt Conrad would go for it anyway.

I just want what the guys might get.


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## mergirl

Firstly, its not just men who are Fa's. There are plenty FFA's too who i assume would be using this board too. Its funny you never hear mention of men cutting down ffa's so maby its actually a gender issue. In which case why not just have seperate boards for men and women..when will it end? Would fat non Fa's be allowed to post in Fa boards but keep thoughts that might hurt the feelings of Fa's to themselves? 
How would this work? hmmm


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## mergirl

BigBellySSBBW said:


> But what would be discussed in the BBW board that isn't discussed in the Health board and the clothes board? I know I am over generalising on both accounts....but if we aren't careful we are going to have boards coming out of our asses and I think it could be very divisive as a community.


I agree, even though your statements were kinna sweeping there. 
In saying that, the fact that there is an lgbt board doesnt stop me from posting elsewhere and it also doesnt stop anyone from posting in the lgbt board.. I feel it would make no difference if we had more forums, it would just mean more places with different rules to get confused about..and like you said it might be divisive.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Susannah said:


> You are quite right. As I said I doubt Conrad would go for it anyway.
> 
> I just want what the guys might get.



I think Conrad is a sensible man. The FA board thing has been brought up before, and I am sure it will be brought up again. 

LOL. I don't think the guys will get an FA board. What on earth could they possibly talk about? LOL. Stan and Mike were on the fighting front the last time it came up. It was shot down then for good reasons. Conrad knows what he is doing


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

mergirl said:


> I agree, even though your statements were kinna sweeping there.
> In saying that, the fact that there is an lgbt board doesnt stop me from posting elsewhere and it also doesnt stop anyone from posting in the lgbt board.. I feel it would make no difference if we had more forums, it would just mean more places with different rules to get confused about..and like you said it might be divisive.



I am the QUEEN of sweeping statements. lol. It takes too much effort to be PC all of the time.


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## _overture

you know, I would imagine that an "FA board" would soon enough turn into a generic Men's club. there seems to be plenty of places around here to talk about everything and anything anyway!


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## Shosh

_overture said:


> you know, I would imagine that an "FA board" would soon enough turn into a generic Men's club. there seems to be plenty of places around here to talk about everything and anything anyway!



You also make a good point.


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## mergirl

BigBellySSBBW said:


> I am the QUEEN of sweeping statements. lol. It takes too much effort to be PC all of the time.


haha.. in which case all the bbws should have their own wee forum where they talk about nails and hair and recipies and the Manly Fa's should have their saloon where they spit into a bucket and talk about beer, football and fat chicks.
I would kinna like to be involved in both..well not the spitting and i'm not really all that interested in hair or nails either.. But recipies and fat chick chat sounds great! But hold on a second...maby i could just go have a look at the foodee board or like the whole of dimensions, last time i looked there was a LOT of fat chick talk!!  lmao


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

mergirl said:


> haha.. in which case all the bbws should have their own wee forum where they talk about nails and hair and recipies and the Manly Fa's should have their saloon where they spit into a bucket and talk about beer, football and fat chicks.
> I would kinna like to be involved in both..well not the spitting and i'm not really all that interested in hair or nails either.. But recipies and fat chick chat sounds great! But hold on a second...maby i could just go have a look at the foodee board or like the whole of dimensions, last time i looked there was a LOT of fat chick talk!!  lmao



Exactly, lol. I would be jealous if Mike could oogle fat chicks without me!


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## NancyGirl74

I dunno. I'm torn...

I was talking to a guy in chat the other day who was thrilled to have found Dims. He went on and on about how he can be himself here and isn't it great that people won't belittle his preference for big women and by golly he doesn't have to be embarrasses. And I agree...and yet I kept going back to this nasty little thought that was running 'round in my brain, 'Gee, I'm so sorry it sucked so bad admitting you like fat girls. Try BEING a fat girl. Try BEING a fat girl listening to you drone on about how tough it is for you to own up to liking fat girls." So, while I get what he was saying, I get it, understand it, and appreciate it...I was still hurt by it. I don't know if this makes sense but there you have it. 

Anyway, maybe because I have those thoughts in my head when FAs talk about how tough it is to be an FA, it is a good reason to have a board specific to FA issues just for FAs. While I don't think FAs have things as rough as BBWs, perhaps we shouldn't even be comparing the two situations. They are as separate as they are connected. Again I say...I dunno. 

On the other hand, I totally agree with people who say Dims _IS_ an FA board. It's made by an FA with FAs in mind, a place for them to go to express their appreciation of BBWs/SSBBWs. Isn't it kind of ungracious for FAs to ask for a specific forum when the whole darn thing is for them? 

I don't know if he will at some point but I'd love to hear Conrad's point of view on this topic.


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## Tooz

NancyGirl74 said:


> Dims _IS_ an FA board. It's made by an FA with FAs in mind, a place for them to go to express their appreciation of BBWs/SSBBWs. Isn't it kind of ungracious for FAs to ask for a specific forum when the whole darn thing is for them?



Exactly. I will be very angry if a "Let's Coddle FAs" board is born.


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## wrestlingguy

I don't need one.

I got here a long time ago, and remember only a small handful of boards where basically everything was discussed.

As time went on, we added boards ad infinitum, and I can barely get to all of them anymore. Part of the reason some of the boards were created was because some people felt they needed to discuss topics without being judged by others.

So, I suppose that we didn't need that when I got here 10 + years ago, and somehow that need has been manifested today. Could it be because people have become more judgmental over the years?

My wife is part of the SSBBW board. She shares none of that with me, although there are probably things discussed in there that I would read with great interest if they were posted in a regular forum. That stratification causes me to miss out on topics that I would truly be interested in.

I think a FA board would do the same. Forget the "mens club" mentality, especially if the intent of the board is to discuss FA "issues". I am sure that whoever would moderate the board would insist that that standard be kept. (although I have to say that I would be interested in moderating that board, regardless of whether I think it should exist or not)

So, we are still men & women here. Can we forget the Venus/Mars syndrome, and allow everyone to actually talk with each other------together?


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## mergirl

Most Fa's dont need coddled anyway.I am Certain there is no need. To be honest, if there was an Fa board with that as part of the agenda i'm not sure i would want the job of coddling the ones that needed it either.


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## BothGunsBlazing

I'm torn about it. I can understand why some people want to discuss their inner conflict and what not without being "attacked" but yeah, I recall when I first entered this community and how much I was confused about who I was and my preference and being open and honest about myself and true to myself and I was eventually met with what was basically the equivalent of a gigantic slap upside the head. 

I'll always be grateful for that. 

I fear that an FA forum would remove the possibility of others being slapped upside the head in such a way.

Fact is, this inner conflict? Yeah, not really that big of a deal and I know this first hand and I know how many people feel hurt by this sort of view and I think many fat women/men are frustrated that they're being made to feel like it's so difficult just for some one to be attracted to them and OK with it. Like, is it really so hard that there is a need for a forum just to talk about it?


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## mergirl

wrestlingguy said:


> My wife is part of the SSBBW board. She shares none of that with me, although there are probably things discussed in there that I would read with great interest if they were posted in a regular forum. That stratification causes me to miss out on topics that I would truly be interested in.



If by 'interested in' you mean 'have a wank over' i think that is point in hand (scuse the pun) for the very real need to have a private ssbbw forum.


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## wrestlingguy

mergirl said:


> If by 'interested in' you mean 'have a wank over' i think that is point in hand (scuse the pun) for the very real need to have a private ssbbw forum.



Ouch! Do I look or sound like a wanker to you???


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## Sandie_Zitkus

Yes, and it should be private. I personnally am tired of seeing FA's (men in particular) voicing their opinions only to be ripped to shredds for it. So yeah, let them have one.


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## Tooz

wrestlingguy said:


> My wife is part of the SSBBW board. She shares none of that with me, although there are probably things discussed in there that I would read with great interest if they were posted in a regular forum. That stratification causes me to miss out on topics that I would truly be interested in.



Me too, me too.  That's a topic for another time, though.


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## LillyBBBW

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Yes, and it should be private. I personnally am tired of seeing FA's (men in particular) voicing their opinions only to be ripped to shredds for it. So yeah, let them have one.



My arms are exhausted from ripping. Get 'em a room.


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## mergirl

Well, we all wank. 
I just think that in the case of the ssbbw board there will be talk about certain health care issues etc etc that ssbbws might want to talk about without thinking that there is anyone finding it a turn on. I wondered what specically interested you about the ssbbw boards.. cause i dont think they will be having pillow fights with each other and trying on all the clothes that are too wee for them!?


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## BothGunsBlazing

mergirl said:


> Well, we all wank.
> I just think that in the case of the ssbbw board there will be talk about certain health care issues etc etc that ssbbws might want to talk about without thinking that there is anyone finding it a turn on. I wondered what specically interested you about the ssbbw boards.. cause i dont think they will be having pillow fights with each other and trying on all the clothes that are too wee for them!?



As an FA, I personally, like to know about issues that SSBBW may have, just because I'm curious as to how I can better accomodate a bigger girl that I may be involved with. Not because I want to jack off to her struggles, but because I want to help make her struggles, well, less of a struggle. 

I do believe that is what wrestlingguy was referring to in his post. 

I totally understand why it's private and I agree that it remain that way.


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## Sandie_Zitkus

LillyBBBW said:


> My arms are exhausted from ripping. Get 'em a room.



I don't recall naming names Lilly. But, that's how I feel about some of the threads I've seen. I'm not going to apologize for an opinion - just as I wouldn't expect you to apologize for how you feel. I'm sorry if what I posted bothered you or anyone but that's how it looks to me.


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## Sandie_Zitkus

BothGunsBlazing said:


> As an FA, I personally, like to know about issues that SSBBW may have, just because I'm curious as to how I can better accomodate a bigger girl that I may be involved with. Not because I want to jack off to her struggles, but because I want to help make her struggles, well, less of a struggle.
> 
> I do believe that is what wrestlingguy was referring to in his post.
> 
> I totally understand why it's private and I agree that it remain that way.



Honestly, every woman is different and those issues are things you work out within the confines of a relationship. As a ssbbw I don't want to put those issues on a web board but at the same time I'm not a member of the private SSBBW board either.


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## wrestlingguy

mergirl said:


> Well, we all wank.
> I just think that in the case of the ssbbw board there will be talk about certain health care issues etc etc that ssbbws might want to talk about without thinking that there is anyone finding it a turn on. I wondered what specically interested you about the ssbbw boards.. cause i dont think they will be having pillow fights with each other and trying on all the clothes that are too wee for them!?



Well, let's start with what happened this past Sunday. I went to see Vagina Monologues with my wife, and of course the seats were too small, and the handicapped area was equipped for wheelchairs, but not for fat asses. I saw that she was very uncomfortable, but could go nowhere but stand in the back if she didn't want to get her hips all black & blue. I offered to move with her, but she chose to sit in a seat that didn't want to cooperate with her. Do I get a hard on watching my wife's pain? If you think I do, then you truly don't know me, Mer, and perhaps should look a little deeper before you make the decision to incriminate like that. I've been inquiring for well over 10 years here, and have never had someone accuse me of that, so you are a first. Congratulations.

My interest is in better understanding the BBW/SSBBW experience, not for my pleasure, but for my own personal growth. How can I be a better husband, if I can't understand what she's going through as a fat woman? Sure, I could ask her, and usually do, but wouldn't it make for good conversation to understand if her experience is similar to others, based on discussion? THAT should be what boards like this are about. Sorry that a few of us think with the WRONG head, but that's not my fault. That's what moderators are for, and I think they generally do a good job.


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## wrestlingguy

LillyBBBW said:


> My arms are exhausted from ripping. Get 'em a room.



I disagree. Keep them in OUR room, and moderate the hell out of 'em until they learn some respect, or throw them out if they can't.


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## LillyBBBW

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I don't recall naming names Lilly. But, that's how I feel about some of the threads I've seen. I'm not going to apologize for an opinion - just as I wouldn't expect you to apologize for how you feel. I'm sorry if what I posted bothered you or anyone but that's how it looks to me.



I wasn't bothered Sandie, I was just yanking your chain. I'm in a bit of a silly mood this morning so I apologize if I made a vibe.


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## mergirl

BothGunsBlazing said:


> As an FA, I personally, like to know about issues that SSBBW may have, just because I'm curious as to how I can better accomodate a bigger girl that I may be involved with. Not because I want to jack off to her struggles, but because I want to help make her struggles, well, less of a struggle.
> 
> I do believe that is what wrestlingguy was referring to in his post.
> 
> I totally understand why it's private and I agree that it remain that way.


But there are posts like "Dating a ssbbw" on the regular forums where you can learn all about that. The reason these posts are private is because the ssbbws want them to be because the issues raised there are personal and ones only other ssbbws would/could relate to. I see no reason why anyone else would need/want to have access to that forum other than for reasons of wank.


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## mergirl

wrestlingguy said:


> Well, let's start with what happened this past Sunday. I went to see Vagina Monologues with my wife, and of course the seats were too small, and the handicapped area was equipped for wheelchairs, but not for fat asses. I saw that she was very uncomfortable, but could go nowhere but stand in the back if she didn't want to get her hips all black & blue. I offered to move with her, but she chose to sit in a seat that didn't want to cooperate with her. Do I get a hard on watching my wife's pain? If you think I do, then you truly don't know me, Mer, and perhaps should look a little deeper before you make the decision to incriminate like that. I've been inquiring for well over 10 years here, and have never had someone accuse me of that, so you are a first. Congratulations.
> 
> My interest is in better understanding the BBW/SSBBW experience, not for my pleasure, but for my own personal growth. How can I be a better husband, if I can't understand what she's going through as a fat woman? Sure, I could ask her, and usually do, but wouldn't it make for good conversation to understand if her experience is similar to others, based on discussion? THAT should be what boards like this are about. Sorry that a few of us think with the WRONG head, but that's not my fault. That's what moderators are for, and I think they generally do a good job.


well, you obviously experience the suffering of your wife first hand and you have an oppertunity to ask her first hand what she needs/wants from you. As i said before there are plenty of threds discussing the problems ssbbws have and how their partners can help them to overcome these problems. I dont see why you need or want to view the ssbbw forums.!? I cant see why anyone who is not a ssbbw would want to view the forums appart from being nosey or wankery. 
Quite obviously not wankery on your part. i appologise profusely.


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## TraciJo67

Yes. I think that Dims should have an FA board.

I think I should also have a board where I can go to safely discuss my obsession with all things acrylic. 

Furthermore, I think we should have a board for parents with small children. We can talk about sanity measures and discipline issues.

I'd like to see another board for ALTERNATIVE SEXUALITY so that people who wish to discuss 2 Girls/1 Cup can do so without me stumbling across it 

I would also very much like to see a board for those of us who are into expression of RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION. Oh, wait ... Hyde Park. Never mind.

Ohhhh ... but how about a board for Harpies and Shrews? I volunteer Mossy the Thing to moderate that one. Or maybe FalalalaCity -- a natural advantage (aside from her shrewy shrewiness, that is) is that if she gets another "time out", she can probably just un-timeout herself. 

I'd also like to see a board for nerds and Trekkies. Some nerds, I'm betting, aren't Trekkies (though the reverse is always true) so maybe we could have two separate boards for both categories. 

A board for people who like to have sex with their food. They don't need the judgment and condemnation from others. 

Another board for the victimized food would probably be a good idea.

And on ... and on.

I'd really like to know how we're going to find moderators for all of these boards, and sub-boards, and sub-sub-sub boards.


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## mergirl

mergirl said:


> well, you obviously experience the suffering of your wife first hand and you have an oppertunity to ask her first hand what she needs/wants from you. As i said before there are plenty of threds discussing the problems ssbbws have and how their partners can help them to overcome these problems. I dont see why you need or want to view the ssbbw forums.!? I cant see why anyone who is not a ssbbw would want to view the forums appart from being nosey or wankery.
> Quite obviously not wankery on your part. i appologise profusely.


Also, of course i 'dont truly know you'.. so i have to make assumptions based on what i think, then of course you can correct me if i'm wrong. Also, no need to congratulate me.


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## LillyBBBW

wrestlingguy said:


> I disagree. Keep them in OUR room, and moderate the hell out of 'em until they learn some respect, or throw them out if they can't.



I was only fooling wg, my arms never tire of giving out beatings.  My main reasons for wanting them out of sight is because these types of discussions take their toll on people after a while. Consider that after a while even the strongest bbw/ssbbw can be in a vulnerable position and meet with "the straw" that finally leaves her rocking in a corner in the fetal position. I admit myself that my sheild is getting a little worn and I know of three women off the top of my head who have quietly left. If people are just itchin' to blurt out thoughts on how skeeved they are at the prospect of being tied to us in some way I'm not certain how this won't create a hostile environment for SOMEBODY. Either them or me, prefferably them but they'll eventualy take me with them and I don't want that.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

mergirl said:


> Also, of course i 'dont truly know you'.. so i have to make assumptions based on what i think, then of course you can correct me if i'm wrong. Also, no need to congratulate me.



hun, are you arguing with yourself now? lol. You quoted yourself and then went on one.


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## Sandie_Zitkus

LillyBBBW said:


> I wasn't bothered Sandie, I was just yanking your chain. I'm in a bit of a silly mood this morning so I apologize if I made a vibe.



Oh good because I felt badly that I might have insulted you in someway.


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## BothGunsBlazing

mergirl said:


> Also, of course i 'dont truly know you'.. so i have to make assumptions based on what i think, then of course you can correct me if i'm wrong. Also, no need to congratulate me.



Uh, so, if you know you're making assumptions, why do you keep doing it? I don't know wrestlingguy personally, but I do know what I have seen from him in the past and I do know it's wrong to just assume what peoples intentions are. 

I just think it's pretty offensive that you have this built in perception that all FAs who'd want to view such a forum would be doing it to get off, because yeah, while some FAs ARE like that, there are many who aren't who do truly just want to help, but seriously, throwing out assumptions left and right is just not cool.


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## mergirl

BigBellySSBBW said:


> hun, are you arguing with yourself now? lol. You quoted yourself and then went on one.


Yes! i have ran out of people to argue with.. i'm only left with myself! bugger!


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

mergirl said:


> Yes! i have ran out of people to argue with.. i'm only left with myself! bugger!



LOL. Well if it gets the job done, more power to you


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## Sandie_Zitkus

mergirl said:


> Yes! i have ran out of people to argue with.. i'm only left with myself! bugger!



Mer, you crack me up - however - I love your spirit and fire.


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## mergirl

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Uh, so, if you know you're making assumptions, why do you keep doing it? I don't know wrestlingguy personally, but I do know what I have seen from him in the past and I do know it's wrong to just assume what peoples intentions are.
> 
> I just think it's pretty offensive that you have this built in perception that all FAs who'd want to view such a forum would be doing it to get off, because yeah, while some FAs ARE like that, there are many who aren't who do truly just want to help, but seriously, throwing out assumptions left and right is just not cool.


Ok. Look at it this way. SSBBWS do NOT want you to see their private forum. The end.
I have chatted to ssbbw's about that particular forum and they have said.."The reason it is there fundimentally is so that 'some' Fa's dont get off on ssbbws descriptions of some medical issues and problems that they only want to discuss with people who go through the same things. I assume that anyone who whines about wanting to be allowed to see that particular private board is either nosey or wanky.. there is no other reason. The one about wanting to find out more about ways of being a good partner to a ssbbw is shite, there are posts like that all over.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

mergirl said:


> Ok. Look at it this way. SSBBWS do NOT want you to see their private forum. The end.
> I have chatted to ssbbw's about that particular forum and they have said.."The reason it is there fundimentally is so that 'some' Fa's dont get off on ssbbws descriptions of some medical issues and problems that they only want to discuss with people who go through the same things. I assume that anyone who whines about wanting to be allowed to see that particular private board is either nosey or wanky.. there is no other reason. The one about wanting to find out more about ways of being a good partner to a ssbbw is shite, there are posts like that all over.




WORD.

If a guy wants to know what a SSBBW goes through....meet one, make friends with one...date one...marry one. Then you will know.


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## LillyBBBW

mergirl said:


> Ok. Look at it this way. SSBBWS do NOT want you to see their private forum. The end.
> I have chatted to ssbbw's about that particular forum and they have said.."The reason it is there fundimentally is so that 'some' Fa's dont get off on ssbbws descriptions of some medical issues and problems that they only want to discuss with people who go through the same things. I assume that anyone who whines about wanting to be allowed to see that particular private board is either nosey or wanky.. there is no other reason. The one about wanting to find out more about ways of being a good partner to a ssbbw is shite, there are posts like that all over.



Mer that is kind of like assuming that a man who smiles at a little girl is a kid toucher. This is a rather sensitive subject and just because one may be interested in the welfare of children or anyone else doesn't mean there's some sinister agenda behind it. I don't think it's fair to make that assumption.


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## mergirl

LillyBBBW said:


> Mer that is kind of like assuming that a man who smiles at a little girl is a kid toucher. This is a rather sensitive subject and just because one may be interested in the welfare of children or anyone else doesn't mean there's some sinister agenda behind it. I don't think it's fair to make that assumption.


I assume that a man who wants to snoop about a forum 'only' for little kids to talk about little kid stuff IS a pedo!


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## BothGunsBlazing

mergirl said:


> Ok. Look at it this way. SSBBWS do NOT want you to see their private forum. The end.
> I have chatted to ssbbw's about that particular forum and they have said.."The reason it is there fundimentally is so that 'some' Fa's dont get off on ssbbws descriptions of some medical issues and problems that they only want to discuss with people who go through the same things. I assume that anyone who whines about wanting to be allowed to see that particular private board is either nosey or wanky.. there is no other reason. The one about wanting to find out more about ways of being a good partner to a ssbbw is shite, there are posts like that all over.



Okay, you can look at it this way. I said what I said about why some one MIGHT be interested in viewing such a forum to give YOU a different perspective while you were throwing out assumptions and I even finished my post with 

AND I TOTALLY AGREE THAT IT SHOULD BE A PRIVATE FORUM.

Oh and let me see, there were threads about gays and lesbians and you among other people (including myself) felt that an entire forum was needed because it just wasn't enough, so, why are you trashing people who think more is better? More awareness? A bad thing? 

Don't ask questions if you're going to automatically rip apart responses from people just because you already know how you feel and clearly don't give a damn what other people think. 

I do think the SSBBW forum should be private and I know why it is and I agree that it should be, but apparently it's "shite" to give something a different perspective from your own. LOVELY.


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## LillyBBBW

mergirl said:


> I assume that a man who wants to snoop about a forum 'only' for little kids to talk about little kid stuff IS a pedo!



So would I but that is not what is happening in this case. I'm glad the ss forum is private and I don't think anyone is saying that it shouldn't be. But an interest in the subject should not be an automatic guilty verdict.


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## Carrie

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Uh, so, if you know you're making assumptions, why do you keep doing it? I don't know wrestlingguy personally, but I do know what I have seen from him in the past and I do know it's wrong to just assume what peoples intentions are.
> 
> I just think it's pretty offensive that you have this built in perception that all FAs who'd want to view such a forum would be doing it to get off, because yeah, while some FAs ARE like that, there are many who aren't who do truly just want to help, but seriously, throwing out assumptions left and right is just not cool.


Agreed. I'm a member of the SSBBW board, and absolutely want it to remain a private board, but there are some FAs here, BGB and WrestlingGuy included, I would, theoretically, feel completely comfortable okay knowing they had access to it. Based on what I know of and have experienced with them, I have no doubt that they would read for a greater understanding of the superfatty experience, and not sitting there with peen in hand. The dating a SSBBW thread is a great resource, but click around sometime and see how many posts there are on Dims from FAs who do have a weight "cap" when they date, in order to avoid dealing with the potential extra complications of dating/becoming involved with someone who is super-sized. That's certainly their right, but I do think it probably makes some of us less inclined to share things in that thread, for fear of strengthening the perception of complications and challenges. In other words, that one thread is not all-encompassing for someone who wants to know more about being a supportive partner to a ssbbw. It's a great start, though. 

There are a lot of people here for the sole purpose of wanking, and whatever, go with god and wank, that's their right. But let's not accuse guys who contribute a great deal more than "Great pics, your belly is HUUUUUGE!" to the forum of being here for just that purpose, y'know? These are the kind of things that create the divide between fatties and their admirers here.


----------



## mergirl

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Okay, you can look at it this way. I said what I said about why some one MIGHT be interested in viewing such a forum to give YOU a different perspective while you were throwing out assumptions and I even finished my post with
> 
> AND I TOTALLY AGREE THAT IT SHOULD BE A PRIVATE FORUM.
> 
> Oh and let me see, there were threads about gays and lesbians and you among other people (including myself) felt that an entire forum was needed because it just wasn't enough, so, why are you trashing people who think more is better? More awareness? A bad thing?
> 
> Don't ask questions if you're going to automatically rip apart responses from people just because you already know how you feel and clearly don't give a damn what other people think.
> 
> I do think the SSBBW forum should be private and I know why it is and I agree that it should be, but apparently it's "shite" to give something a different perspective from your own. LOVELY.


Ok. Firstly. I'm not ripping people apart. wee sensitive soul. I am saying what i think and not pussy footing around the issue. I ask questions all the time here and listen to replies and try to find alternative thinking behind all situations. If you think the ssbbw forum should remain private then why are you even arguing with me? We are agreed!
Also, what do you mean that i trash people who think more is better?? what does that even mean??
Yes, i thought there should be an lgbt forum now there is one! Brilliant! Whats your point caller? The majority wanted one.
Should there be an Fa forum? i dont know. If the majority wants one.


----------



## ashmamma84

I don't even know why having men in the SS forum would be up for discussion when so much of the issue around the time it was formed was that smaller and mid sized women would be sitting around gawking at whatever challenges or issues supersized women have. Or at least that's what I gleaned from alot of the responses. If it's private for women who happen to be smaller fatties, it should be that way for men too. 

As for an FA board -- I think that's doing too much. There are some fine FA's on the general forums that are able to show the newer guys the ropes, if they are so inclined.


----------



## Carrie

mergirl said:


> If you think the ssbbw forum should remain private then why are you even arguing with me? We are agreed!


I believe he - and others - are arguing with you because you stated that the _only_ reason an FA would be interested in the content of the ssbbw forum was to jack off to it. Pretty offensive and belittling, if it's not the case.


----------



## mergirl

LillyBBBW said:


> So would I but that is not what is happening in this case. I'm glad the ss forum is private and I don't think anyone is saying that it shouldn't be. But an interest in the subject should not be an automatic guilty verdict.


I agree. I think there are crossed wires here. I dont think an interest in ssbbw issues is always about someone getting off, it can be for a plethora of other reasons. I'm just wary of those who state they wish they could see the private forums and wonder what the need would be for that.


----------



## Tooz

ashmamma84 said:


> I don't even know why having men in the SS forum would be up for discussion when so much of the issue around the time it was formed was that smaller and mid sized women would be sitting around gawking at whatever challenges or issues supersized women have. Or at least that's what I gleaned from alot of the responses. If it's private for women who happen to be smaller fatties, it should be that way for men too.



Ex-fucking-actly. I'm still upset about that forum, even now.


----------



## mergirl

Carrie said:


> I believe he - and others - are arguing with you because you stated that the _only_ reason an FA would be interested in the content of the ssbbw forum was to jack off to it. Pretty offensive and belittling, if it's not the case.


That or noseyness. yes. For any other reason there are a plethora of ssbbw topics in non private forums.


----------



## Carrie

mergirl said:


> That or noseyness. yes. For any other reason there are a plethora of ssbbw topics in non private forums.


Did you read my previous post in this thread, Mer?


----------



## TraciJo67

mergirl said:


> That or noseyness. yes. For any other reason there are a plethora of ssbbw topics in non private forums.



mer, after several years of getting to know BGB & WrestlingGuy through their posting history, I didn't bat an eye at their explanations. I take them at their word. It's not always about general nosiness or the desire to wank. Just admit that you spoke with haste, and that you didn't mean to paint all FA's with the pervy brush or so help me, sister ... I'll ... uh .... sic Mossy the Thing on you.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

TraciJo67 said:


> mer, after several years of getting to know BGB & WrestlingGuy through their posting history, I didn't bat an eye at their explanations. I take them at their word. It's not always about general nosiness or the desire to wank. Just admit that you spoke with haste, and that you didn't mean to paint all FA's with the pervy brush or so help me, sister ... I'll ... uh .... sic Mossy the Thing on you.



no no no. I completely agree that BGB and WG are awesome guys and are pure at heart...as is my hubby, but for those 3 guys, there are hundreds who would wank. It's too bad we can't have a forum for "the good guys" so to speak.


----------



## mergirl

Carrie said:


> Did you read my previous post in this thread, Mer?


Oh no. It was too much of a frenzy and i missed it. Just read it there. I guess there has to be a cut off point though really.. If you let a couple of guys that you knew were genuinly interested in ssbbw's and what they go through wouldnt you have to just let everyone in..? 
Its a funny one though..where is the cut off point for being a ssbbw at all?
What about the women who are on the cusp? What if you are a ssbbw and lose weight do you get thrown out? (even though your experiences could help others). 

I am sorry to wrestling guy and bgb who i know are interested in ssbbw's not just as wank fodder. My hackles went up totally there..Though, if Male Fas are to be allowed in the ssbbw forum then it should just be them! lol

The thing you said about being less inclined to share things in a thread because some people have weight caps and you wouldnt want to strengthen the perceptions of the challenges of ssbbw's... Is this the reason you think the ssbbw forum is a good idea?

hmmm.


----------



## mergirl

TraciJo67 said:


> Just admit that you spoke with haste, and that you didn't mean to paint all FA's with the pervy brush or so help me, sister ... I'll ... uh .... sic Mossy the Thing on you.


Oh i just did! And that was before i read your post and the mossy threat!!


----------



## LillyBBBW

mergirl said:


> Oh no. It was too much of a frenzy and i missed it. Just read it there. I guess there has to be a cut off point though really.. If you let a couple of guys that you knew were genuinly interested in ssbbw's and what they go through wouldnt you have to just let everyone in..?
> Its a funny one though..where is the cut off point for being a ssbbw at all?
> What about the women who are on the cusp? What if you are a ssbbw and lose weight do you get thrown out? (even though your experiences could help others).
> 
> I am sorry to wrestling guy and bgb who i know are interested in ssbbw's not just as wank fodder. My hackles went up totally there..Though, if Male Fas are to be allowed in the ssbbw forum then it should just be them! lol
> 
> The thing you said about being less inclined to share things in a thread because some people have weight caps and you wouldnt want to strengthen the perceptions of the challenges of ssbbw's... Is this the reason you think the ssbbw forum is a good idea?
> 
> hmmm.



That is one of the reasons maybe. The main thing for me is that there are personal things I want to ask/discuss that I would not feel comfortable asking if there were a man standing there.... or possibly some curious seeker who just discovered something new and interesting at my expense. I don't want to be that, I just want to know how to score a telescopic ass scratcher with retractable tweezers and magnifying glass.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

LillyBBBW said:


> I just want to know how to score a telescopic ass scratcher with retractable tweezers and magnifying glass.



lol. Have you tried AmpleStuff


----------



## LillyBBBW

BigBellySSBBW said:


> lol. Have you tried AmpleStuff



LOL. They're sold out.  Those things go fast.


----------



## NoWayOut

Seems pretty redundant.


----------



## Carrie

mergirl said:


> Oh no. It was too much of a frenzy and i missed it. Just read it there. I guess there has to be a cut off point though really.. If you let a couple of guys that you knew were genuinly interested in ssbbw's and what they go through wouldnt you have to just let everyone in..?
> Its a funny one though..where is the cut off point for being a ssbbw at all?
> What about the women who are on the cusp? What if you are a ssbbw and lose weight do you get thrown out? (even though your experiences could help others).
> 
> I am sorry to wrestling guy and bgb who i know are interested in ssbbw's not just as wank fodder. My hackles went up totally there..Though, if Male Fas are to be allowed in the ssbbw forum then it should just be them! lol
> 
> The thing you said about being less inclined to share things in a thread because some people have weight caps and you wouldnt want to strengthen the perceptions of the challenges of ssbbw's... Is this the reason you think the ssbbw forum is a good idea?
> 
> hmmm.


Wait, I'm absolutely not saying anyone but ssbbw should have access to the ssbbw forum, no matter how quality an FA is. I was just trying to illustrate that that was how confident I am that people like BGB's and WrestlingGuy's interest in the forum was not of a sexual nature. Make sense? 

I'll be honest, Mer, the concept of the ssbbw private forum has been argued to death here a million times over, and every time feelings end up being hurt, so I'm not going to go into the pros and cons deeply or re-explain its need here. I understand both sides to the argument, but I can say the bottom line for me as a ssbbw and a member of that forum, it would not be 1/2 as helpful to me as it is now if it were a public forum. There are things about being this size that are intensely personal - emotionally and physically - that I would never dream of posting in an open forum. It has become an enormous source of support for me, and for many other women, where one did not exist here at Dims before its existence. So call me selfish, but I would not want to see it change, because it is exactly what I and many of my super-sized friends here needed.


----------



## mergirl

LillyBBBW said:


> That is one of the reasons maybe. The main thing for me is that there are personal things I want to ask/discuss that I would not feel comfortable asking if there were a man standing there.... or possibly some curious seeker who just discovered something new and interesting at my expense. I don't want to be that, I just want to know how to score a telescopic ass scratcher with retractable tweezers and magnifying glass.


lmao right. ok. Though, i think a telescopic arse scratcher would be something i also would be interested in! I mean who doesnt want to see their bum boils up close while scratchin away at them!??


----------



## LillyBBBW

mergirl said:


> lmao right. ok. Though, i think a telescopic arse scratcher would be something i also would be interested in! I mean who doesnt want to see their bum boils up close while scratchin away at them!??



lol Yeah, that particular contraption would have universal appeal. I better start developing a patent.


----------



## mergirl

Carrie said:


> Wait, I'm absolutely not saying anyone but ssbbw should have access to the ssbbw forum, no matter how quality an FA is. I was just trying to illustrate that that was how confident I am that people like BGB's and WrestlingGuy's interest in the forum was not of a sexual nature. Make sense?
> 
> I'll be honest, Mer, the concept of the ssbbw private forum has been argued to death here a million times over, and every time feelings end up being hurt, so I'm not going to go into the pros and cons deeply or re-explain its need here. I understand both sides to the argument, but I can say the bottom line for me as a ssbbw and a member of that forum, it would not be 1/2 as helpful to me as it is now if it were a public forum. There are things about being this size that are intensely personal - emotionally and physically - that I would never dream of posting in an open forum. It has become an enormous source of support for me, and for many other women, where one did not exist here at Dims before its existence. So call me selfish, but I would not want to see it change, because it is exactly what I and many of my super-sized friends here needed.


Indeed. I can see that. This is why, of course i think it should be private and should remain. There were defo some crossed wires there due to hackles being raised unfairly by myself. hands up and weapons down. 
You are making sense-theoretically you wouldnt mind bgb and wrestling guy being in the ssbbw forum but practically you want it to remain a ssbbw only space.
I'm glad the forum is helpful to you.


----------



## MsGreenLantern

I have to agree with a lot of you posters in saying, I'm not sure that an FA board is needed. I understand guys want a space for guys to talk about guy stuff [or ffa stuff] but there are already places for that. You can make threads and ask for only male input. You have the fantasy boards, paysite boards, and threads GALORE about how hard it is to be an FA.

Many women take it to a harsh place since most of us have been hurt by a closeted FA in the past, myself included. If closeted FA's are afraid of the harshness of the women on the board, the ones they would like to learn to love openly, maybe they should take it to a PM or get advice from a guy one-on-one. Hiding from how it makes the women feel will not in any way HELP them to overcome this. They have to see how hurtful it can be, and see that the women have opinions and feeling about it too. 

It feels like an entire board would just be a broken record of the same post "OMG I like fat girls but can't tell my friends/family" over and over [as we already have on the regular forums], followed by fantasy issues addressed elsewhere already.

There should be threads that are moderated mens/women's responses only. That way we can all learn, and yet feel safe to express without being chewed out. Though I have little pity honestly, as stated above, it does suck to feel ganged up on. A whole board would segregate the population a lot though. I too fear it will become more wank-fodder about fantasies, and less about "helping" the coming out FAs.


----------



## wrestlingguy

Thank God I have my laptop with me today.............

Several days ago, I received a MySpace message from a friend who cut & pasted a private chat she had with a guy in another forum. Ultimately, the guy called her a fat cu**, and she was horribly upset with him, since she considered him a friend until that point. She asked if I'd have a chat with him, which I did.

This is precisely the reason that there shouldn't be a private FA board. Can you imagine the dialogue that could potentially occur in a forum like that? Even if moderated, can you see guys potentially finding a "safe haven" to rip women who have no way of 1. finding out about it, and 2. defending themselves.

As stated previously, I would love to read & participate in discussions on the SSBBW board, but I would gladly give that up to give the ladies there their peace of mind.

Unfortunately, many guys here need to be policed, so that they don't leave these forums, as Lilly has stated. While women are more than capable of defending themselves from these idiots, I just can't help but think that sometimes hearing from your male brothers that you're an asshole might have more meaning than hearing it from the "fat cu**" that was referred to previously. And, while you ladies may not think it's necessary for guys to do this, I'll continue to hold the mirror up & show these guys how stupid they look until someone explains to me why I shouldn't.

Back to work..........


----------



## Blackjack

MsGreenLantern said:


> There should be threads that are moderated mens/women's responses only. That way we can all learn, and yet feel safe to express without being chewed out. Though I have little pity honestly, as stated above, it does suck to feel ganged up on. A whole board would segregate the population a lot though. I too fear it will become more wank-fodder about fantasies, and less about "helping" the coming out FAs.


----------



## Observer

Wow, this thread exploded overnight!

For everyone's information there was a prior discussion of this topic last Spring, found here, including my own thoughts at the time in posts #96 and 160. It was never  shot down and has in fact recently been revived as a possible future project. . 

Continued development of the idea floundered not because of any real resistance but because of unrelated issues regarding mod manpower shortages in other areas. We were (and sremain) stretched very thin, but as seen by the recent additioon of two more boards we are doing what we can.

My suggestion? Respond to the poll, since its been started, and stay tuned. 
Anyone interested in helping with mod duties in the library please PM me.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Observer said:


> Wow, this thread exploded overnight!
> 
> For everyone's information there was a prior discussion of this topic last Spring, found here, including my own thoughts at the time in posts #96 and 160. It was never  shot down and has in fact recently been revived as a possible future project. .
> 
> Continued development of the idea floundered not because of any real resistance but because of unrelated issues regarding mod manpower shortages in other areas. We were (and sremain) stretched very thin, but as seen by the recent additioon of two more boards we are doing what we can.
> 
> My suggestion? Respond to the poll, since its been started, and stay tuned.
> Anyone interested in helping with mod duties in the library please PM me.



ooooh. I'll let Mike know (he's away on business). I sure he will be well chuffed.


----------



## alan_koenig

as an FA, i can say that this board already offers me everything i need. The only possible benefit could be that it would be (as previously mentioned) a place for us to voice our honest opinions without being reprimanded for them.
Personally though, I think the board is fine as it is...


----------



## FatAndProud

I think an FA board would be a fabulous addition.

In the business point of view...It might introduce the unregistered users who are web surfing into what Dimensions is at one glance: BBW/SSBBW/BHM/FA/ETC whatever. I think it'd be neat.

Plus, everyone should have their little clique, no?


----------



## mergirl

FatAndProud said:


> I think an FA board would be a fabulous addition.
> 
> In the business point of view...It might introduce the unregistered users who are web surfing into what Dimensions is at one glance: BBW/SSBBW/BHM/FA/ETC whatever. I think it'd be neat.
> 
> Plus, everyone should have their little clique, no?


lmao.. your sig only exemplifies my earlier appologies!! oh dear..


----------



## Blockierer

An FA board without a pic trade subforum? Is this possible?


----------



## LoveBHMS

Well, I brought this up last time we had the discussion, and I have to ask if the FA board would include FFAs (either gay or straight) or is it ONLY for hetero male FAs. What about gay male FAs who like BHMs? Would they have a place there? Or would hetero female FAs who like BHMs belong? If neither of those two previous situations are addressed, I would find such a board _really really_ discriminatory and go even further towards divisiveness within Dims.

I can offer a personal example of how such threads as "Dating a SSBBW" have been educational. A little while ago, I invited a SSBBW pal out for dinner and drinks, (not a date, just two straight females socializing.) I got to the bar first and sat down at one of those high top bar tables that have bar stools which you sort of have to climb up on. After sitting down and ordering a drink, I realized my friend might not be comfortable at such a set up. I looked around the bar to see if there was a regular table available, and as soon as she arrived, asked if she'd be comfortable at the high table. She said she thought she'd be ok, so we proceded to order dinner and drinks. After about an hour, she said she was getting uncomfortable, so I flagged down the waitress and asked that we be moved to a regular table. As a straight woman, I wouldn't get aroused by the difficulty or challenges faced by a SS woman, but being able to read the "dating" thread did help inform me about SS issues and make me aware of ways to make my companion more comfortable.

I think a seperate FA board is not necessary. The point of Dims is for everyone to communicate and learn from each other. More segregation seems like it would diminish the ultimate goals of this forum.


----------



## Santaclear

I don't want a separate FA forum. I think it's GOOD that FAs "struggling with their preference" get to see BBWs' reactions to that struggle. I don't think it should happen behind closed doors.


----------



## Tad

Over the years I've come to the conclusion that mixed gender groups tend to be better behaved, on average, than single gendered groups, of either gender. Now fat vs. FA is not all one gender in either direction, but I think some of the same principle may apply. 

Also, there are many people who are interested in both sides of things, and many issues cross both sides of things.

In addition, I think the number of boards can already be confusing--even for those of us who have been here for a long time. I think it might be really intimidating for newbies.

And finally, any board which does not receive some minimum level of posts tends to wither, because people won't post if they don't think people are reading. Hence there it is important to make sure we don't slice traffic amongst too many boards, or they won't all thrive (there is an inverse, where a board gets too busy, but I don't think that is currently a problem on any of the Dimensions boards.

Those are all the reasons that my first reaction is: no, thanks.

On the other hand, it is true that when you create a new space, you don't know exactly what might find a nice there, and there is only one way to find out. That may be enough reason, on its own, to justify a new board.

But if we do add a new board, I'd say: not yet. The GLBTQ board was just recently added. I would say wait a few months, and assess the traffic on all of the boards and sub-boards, and then make a decision.

All just in my opinion.


----------



## mossystate

BigBellySSBBW said:


> But what would be discussed in the BBW board that isn't discussed in the *Health board and the clothes board*? I know I am over generalising on both accounts....but if we aren't careful we are going to have boards coming out of our asses and I think it could be very divisive as a community.



No doubt this place could have so many boards that it would call for two ' homepages ' :doh:, but, I did say WHOA when I read your post. I am not saying there should be two additional boards ( but if there is one... there needs to be the other ), but, clothing and health issues do not speak to the core issues of confidence and self worth, and how to navigate a sometimes very hostile world. Well fitting jeans and health advice speak only in a roundabout way to internal struggles. Fat women are not just bodies, and I know you know that.

I am just thinking how, if there is to be only the addition of an FA board, we will see on the homepage...FA..FFA/BHM..GLBTQ..SSBBW( some will see )..........no BBW....wowza. I can't imagine how this should be anything but a vote for or against BOTH. If people think that every fat woman speaks out out here...ummmmm....no. I think too many people see us vocal types and believe all women are, or can be that way.

The moderated threads idea is a good idea....for BOTH FA's and BBW.


----------



## cinnamitch

LillyBBBW said:


> I just want to know how to score a telescopic ass scratcher with retractable tweezers and magnifying glass.




I had one of those but we got divorced:happy:


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

mossystate said:


> No doubt this place could have so many boards that it would call for two ' homepages ' :doh:, but, I did say WHOA when I read your post. I am not saying there should be two additional boards ( but if there is one... there needs to be the other ), but, clothing and health issues do not speak to the core issues of confidence and self worth, and how to navigate a sometimes very hostile world. Well fitting jeans and health advice speak only in a roundabout way to internal struggles. Fat women are not just bodies, and I know you know that.
> 
> I am just thinking how, if there is to be only the addition of an FA board, we will see on the homepage...FA..FFA/BHM..GLBTQ..SSBBW( some will see )..........no BBW....wowza. I can't imagine how this should be anything but a vote for or against BOTH.
> 
> The moderated threads idea is a good idea....for BOTH FA's and BBW.



I was over generalising, and I agree IF there is one, there must be the other. But I honestly don't see the need for either as there are plenty of other boards. I just don't see what could be talked about that can't already be categorised in some other forum.


----------



## olwen

Everyone brings up good reasons for and against.... 

I am for an FA/FFA board. I think it would have to be carefully constructed so as to serve as a sort of therapy for struggling FAs. I imagine that is what it would primarily be used for, and that both men and women of all sexualities would be included. It doesn't make sense to exclude them if the issues are still the same, which means an FFA should probably be one of the moderators as well. As several FAs have pointed out, screaming bloody murder at the struggling ones might push them further in and keep them from speaking up at all rather than wake them up. And personally I just don't want to see those posts, I don't like knowing that right now they are scattered everywhere where I might run into one and be tempted to post - and scream. Knowing they'd all be in one place that I can avoid would make me feel better and keep me sane. That being said, I don't think it should be private. If bbws and bhms want to see whats inside, they should be able to if only because for some it might provide insight into why they feel the way they feel and make them more compassionate. I'm out of compassion myself, but that's just me...to keep angry posts out of the board it would just have to have very clear rules about the kind of language that is not tolerated be moderated well. It's doable.


----------



## exile in thighville

why are fatties involved in the choosing of an fa board

my opinion had no effect on the creation of the board where you guys talk about how you wipe your butts

i think an fa board would be pretty stupid personally considering how united the fat contingent is here as opposed to those of us just in it for the gasms

but i'm sure dudes would disagree


----------



## The Orange Mage

exile is on a roll with the truth train

but



mergirl said:


> Firstly, its not just men who are Fa's. There are plenty FFA's too who i assume would be using this board too. Its funny you never hear mention of men cutting down ffa's so maby its actually a gender issue.



I would love to see another thread on THIS subject.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

exile in thighville said:


> why are fatties involved in the choosing of an fa board
> 
> my opinion had no effect on the creation of the board where you guys talk about how you wipe your butts
> 
> i think an fa board would be pretty stupid personally considering how united the fat contingent is here as opposed to those of us just in it for the gasms
> 
> but i'm sure dudes would disagree



Well for one....this fatty is an FA and out and proud about it.

And your description of the other board is rather crude to say the least.


----------



## SamanthaNY

What's more annoying than having an FA-only board? Constant yammering about it. Apologies to the OP, since I know you're just asking for input, but holy crap. Many of us have seen this discussed (and by 'discussed', I mean discussed, fought over, whined about, insisted upon and hissy-fitted about) over several threads now, and in several more posts on other threads. For what feels like YEARS. The FA Board is now the _irritable bowel syndrome_ of Dimensions. 

Did y'all see how the GLBTQNF123XUE Board got started? It was faster than shit through a goose. Someone brought it up, people gave input, they were told how to go about requesting it, they did that, and bammo... new board. They're fabulous, not only for their fashion sense, because they wanted something, and then went about getting it instead of just JERKING OFF FOR SEVERAL THOUSAND POSTS.

So, to those of you that want this redundant board - did anyone think of doing it the way they did it? Write up a damn proposal and submit it to him. 

Cuz it doesn't matter that you want it and I don't... it only matters if Conrad does.

FFS already. Damn.


----------



## mossystate

Hmmmmm...there is also kind of a passive element to some wanting an FA board. Like, if the FA's can just get their heads on straight, the waiting BBW and all of HER struggles...will be all better, once the menfolk come back from the battle inside their own noggins. The fat chicks can just talk about shoes and be complimented on how her tits look in that thar bra. Postpixthks. The desire by some to help FA's in a way not offered to BBW...that's some fucked up stuff. Do so many people think that a majority of fat women are really feeling all safe and cozy and assisted out here? Jesus H Macy...it's like fat people are forever shoved to the side, so the rest of the world can be........understooooood. Scraps...indeed.


----------



## mergirl

The Orange Mage said:


> exile is on a roll with the truth train
> 
> but
> 
> 
> 
> I would love to see another thread on THIS subject.


Start it! I Double Dare ya!!!


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

This is why FAs MAY need their own forum.

I think most FAs are stuck in awkward High School "well, I am afraid to ask out fat girls, because what will people think and I don't like thin girls, so I won't talk to them either" mode so, what do you think becomes of a guy who has zero experience dealing with anything female? 

they say really really dumb things on Dimensions and get torn to shreds.

Of course, this is the problem, you need the flipside. You need the FEMALE telling you that what you just said is stupid and this is why, because when you're dealing with issues involving women, generally women know what women want. 

basically. FAs .. are born WITH THE BRAIN DAMAGE.


----------



## ashmamma84

BigBellySSBBW said:


> I was over generalising, and I agree IF there is one, there must be the other. But I honestly don't see the need for either as there are plenty of other boards. I just don't see what could be talked about that can't already be categorised in some other forum.



Because just like you -- sometimes smaller and midsized bbws don't want their issues broadcast across the whole of Dims. Is that so bad? No, I don't have access to the SS board, but due to some recent events I have had some health issues that have impacted my daily life and could possibly benefit from having shared my concerns with other bbw women...in a not so "open" forum. 

I think one of the problems is that people think if you aren't over 350lbs, you don't have any issues (physical, emotional/psychological) and that couldn't be further from the truth. Just because *you* might not have had any issues at a lower weight doesn't mean some other women isn't experiencing some trouble. Hey, I can only walk in my shoes so I don't want someone assuming when in fact they have no idea.


----------



## stan_der_man

wrestlingguy said:


> I don't need one.
> 
> I got here a long time ago, and remember only a small handful of boards where basically everything was discussed.
> 
> As time went on, we added boards ad infinitum, and I can barely get to all of them anymore. Part of the reason some of the boards were created was because some people felt they needed to discuss topics without being judged by others.
> 
> So, I suppose that we didn't need that when I got here 10 + years ago, and somehow that need has been manifested today. Could it be because people have become more judgmental over the years?
> 
> My wife is part of the SSBBW board. She shares none of that with me, although there are probably things discussed in there that I would read with great interest if they were posted in a regular forum. That stratification causes me to miss out on topics that I would truly be interested in.
> 
> I think a FA board would do the same. Forget the "mens club" mentality, especially if the intent of the board is to discuss FA "issues". I am sure that whoever would moderate the board would insist that that standard be kept. (although I have to say that I would be interested in moderating that board, regardless of whether I think it should exist or not)
> 
> So, we are still men & women here. Can we forget the Venus/Mars syndrome, and allow everyone to actually talk with each other------together?



Ditto... I personally don't think I have much to gain from such a board but I'll gladly participate if there is the possibility of benefit to sincere young FAs (male and female) trying to find their way in life and better understand themselves and the fat people they admire.


----------



## Weeze

Blockierer said:


> An FA board without a pic trade subforum? Is this possible?



It will also need a single, attached, looking forum.

ALL MAH SINGLE FA'S All my single FA's
ALL MAH SINGLE FA'S 
NOW PUTCHA HANDS UP!


and yes. I realize i'm the one who made it in the GLBTQ forum.

I'm just an asshole.


----------



## ashmamma84

krismiss said:


> It will also need a single, attached, looking forum.
> 
> ALL MAH SINGLE FA'S All my single FA's
> ALL MAH SINGLE FA'S
> NOW PUTCHA HANDS UP!



lls!


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

ashmamma84 said:


> Because just like you -- sometimes smaller and midsized bbws don't want their issues broadcast across the whole of Dims. Is that so bad? No, I don't have access to the SS board, but due to some recent events I have had some health issues that have impacted my daily life and could possibly benefit from having shared my concerns with other bbw women...in a not so "open" forum.
> 
> I think one of the problems is that people think if you aren't over 350lbs, you don't have any issues (physical, emotional/psychological) and that couldn't be further from the truth. Just because *you* might not have had any issues at a lower weight doesn't mean some other women isn't experiencing some trouble. Hey, I can only walk in my shoes so I don't want someone assuming when in fact they have no idea.



I never said BBWs don't have problems....never ever did I say that. And everyone here has issues they don't want broadcast all over dims, so they don't post it. Thin people have issues as well....should we have a "thin but hangs out at dims anyways" board?

I know there are issues with being a bbw....after all, I still fit into that category as well...and always have done. I had issues before 350lbs. I never said I didn't.


----------



## mergirl

Anyone know the best ways of getting rid of thrush??
Shit? what forum am i in??
gah!!! BLUSH!!!!


----------



## William

Hi Ash

I agree with you.

I help moderate a SS Group (not dedicated to SSBBW but that is primaily who use it), it is also open to all members of the forum. Maybe because there are very few Fat Admirers (of either sex) there that not manypeople without a valid question goes there, most post on the main forum. A lot of the body questions brought up ther are the same for SSBBW and SSBHM.

William





ashmamma84 said:


> I don't even know why having men in the SS forum would be up for discussion when so much of the issue around the time it was formed was that smaller and mid sized women would be sitting around gawking at whatever challenges or issues supersized women have. Or at least that's what I gleaned from alot of the responses. If it's private for women who happen to be smaller fatties, it should be that way for men too.
> 
> As for an FA board -- I think that's doing too much. There are some fine FA's on the general forums that are able to show the newer guys the ropes, if they are so inclined.


----------



## ashmamma84

BigBellySSBBW said:


> I never said BBWs don't have problems....never ever did I say that. And everyone here has issues they don't want broadcast all over dims, so they don't post it. Thin people have issues as well....should we have a "thin but hangs out at dims anyways" board?
> 
> I know there are issues with being a bbw....after all, I still fit into that category as well...and always have done. I had issues before 350lbs. I never said I didn't.



Now, if I would have said that about SS women and their issues and how they should just suck it up and not post because there isn't a real need for an SS forum, I'm sure I would have been called insensitive and be told that "I have no idea what its like to live in a supersized body, yada, yada" and drama would ensue. And we are talking about very personal issues relevant to (ss)bbw, so lets not play semantics.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

ashmamma84 said:


> Now, if I would have said that about SS women and their issues and how they should just suck it up and not post because there isn't a real need for an SS forum, I'm sure I would have been called insensitive and be told that "I have no idea what its like to live in a supersized body, yada, yada" and drama would ensue. And we are talking about very personal issues relevant to (ss)bbw, so lets not play semantics.



you seem to have a real issue with me...so lets end it here.


----------



## ashmamma84

BigBellySSBBW said:


> you seem to have a real issue with me...so lets end it here.



No personal issue with you, Donni. Just calling it as my (biased) eyes see it.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

ashmamma84 said:


> No personal issue with you, Donni. Just calling it as my (biased) eyes see it.




Good, cos I like you


----------



## Suze

ashmamma84 said:


> Because just like you -- sometimes smaller and midsized bbws don't want their issues broadcast across the whole of Dims. Is that so bad? No, I don't have access to the SS board, but due to some recent events I have had some health issues that have impacted my daily life and could possibly benefit from having shared my concerns with other bbw women...in a not so "open" forum.
> *
> I think one of the problems is that people think if you aren't over 350lbs, you don't have any issues (physical, emotional/psychological) and that couldn't be further from the truth.* Just because *you* might not have had any issues at a lower weight doesn't mean some other women isn't experiencing some trouble. Hey, I can only walk in my shoes so I don't want someone assuming when in fact they have no idea.


Finafuckinglly. I couldn't agree more. 
Even if I'm not a ssbbw i still weigh twice as much as most of my friends. That's not always sunshine and unicorns... trust me!


----------



## LillyBBBW

ashmamma84 said:


> Because just like you -- sometimes smaller and midsized bbws don't want their issues broadcast across the whole of Dims. Is that so bad? No, I don't have access to the SS board, but due to some recent events I have had some health issues that have impacted my daily life and could possibly benefit from having shared my concerns with other bbw women...in a not so "open" forum.
> 
> I think one of the problems is that people think if you aren't over 350lbs, you don't have any issues (physical, emotional/psychological) and that couldn't be further from the truth. Just because *you* might not have had any issues at a lower weight doesn't mean some other women isn't experiencing some trouble. Hey, I can only walk in my shoes so I don't want someone assuming when in fact they have no idea.



I don't think it's that you don't have any issues. We surely know that you do. It's the overwhelming evidence from repeated experience that many smaller bbw's don't relate at all to the issues of being supersized and have no concept. In my observations some of the most insensitive, draw dropping, marginalizing and truly uninformed affirmations spoken here have come from the mouths of smaller bbws. No one feels the need to waste the time on education and rebuttal when that is not the purpose of the forum. There are many SSBBWs who are not at that level of comfort and are better served by a private forum. The same dynamic rarely occurs in the reverse. Cherry picking as to which smaller bbws are to be welcomed and which are not would have been unfair, hence the rule.


----------



## Webmaster

NancyGirl74 said:


> ... I'd love to hear Conrad's point of view on this topic.



A few days ago I received a very well crafted proposal for such a board. I am currently considering that.

Here are some thoughts:

- Dimensions was conceived as a forum for FAs and the fat people they admire. I felt that these two groups of people are a potential perfect match, but that both groups could benefit from learning from one another. So Dimensions overall was initially conceived for FAs, and not as the more general size acceptance community we have become. So it'd be a little weird to now have a separate FA board in what was already conceived as a size-positive FA site.

- I am generally cautious about adding boards. I do not want to see too much balkanization (splitting into ever smaller groups).

- If there were to be a separate FA board, I'd have to figure out how it relates to the current Weight Board and its subsidiary boards.

- The SSBBW board set a precedent in terms of access, so the question becomes whether the same would apply to a FA board. I am not much in favor of locked boards unless it is absolutely necessary. In the same respect, an unlocked board generally results in people either not saying what is really on their minds for fear of getting sniped, or of posting with a political correctness filter. I know that when I was exploring my own feelings I felt a need to compare notes with other FAs in private. There's probably a line between what always ought to be private and what ought to be possible to be discussed in a safe forum, but where that line is, and whether "safe" is possible is not so clear.


----------



## Paquito

I don't think it would be a bad thing to have one, but I personally don't need one. The Main Board, BHM Board, and Fat Sexuality Boards are just fine for me, I get my fill of FA things from these places, it just seems like another board to seperate everyone.

Maybe we could make a Newbie/Transition Board instead? A place where newcomers to the fat world can ask questions and get a feel for what this magical land is all about. New (F)FAs can get out their feelings and get guidance from the seasoned (F)FAs, and fat people who come here with alot of self doubt and fear can get encouragement and acceptance until they're ready for the main boards. I remember how scary the Main Boards looked when I first joined, as someone who was just starting in the BBP/(F)FA world, especially because everyone seemed so seasoned and I was just a newbie. I know that the one on BellyBuilders has been helpful so far.

Just my 2 cents.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Conrad, would the FA board be male exclusive then? I find the term FFA only describes straight women who find big men attractive. Therefore I define myself as an FA so I am curious if it would be men only. Thanks.


----------



## Ivy

BigBellySSBBW said:


> But what would be discussed in the BBW board that isn't discussed in the Health board and the clothes board? I know I am over generalising on both accounts....but if we aren't careful we are going to have boards coming out of our asses and I think it could be very divisive as a community.



taking out social hits on the "men" who have jilted us! haha.


----------



## mossystate

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Conrad, would the FA board be male exclusive then? I find the term FFA only describes straight women who find big men attractive. Therefore I define myself as an FA so I am curious if it would be men only. Thanks.



I understand why you are asking, since you identify as an FA, but, as you said, would there be toooooo many splinters/additions? If the original intent of this place was for men who like fat women, and the women who are fat , then, why should female FA's be included? Also, the GLBTQ board ( which I am glad is here ) is a step away from the original ' vision '. Perhaps you have no need for a BBW board, as you already have more than one protected place. How many does a person need? 

I am not attacking you, Donni, or making this about you personally. I am just taking what you have said here and thinking out loud. Sorry if my wanderings have you think otherwise.
--------------------------------------------------------
This discussion is already divisive. We all want ONE safe place, where we don't have to get TOO technicolor of a slap of truth right off the bat...OR...be told that there is a man out there for us, so, chin up, buttercup. I have access to the SSBBW board. I am just not seeing where BBW would have a recognized space, once everybody else has been satisfied.

Not all the BBW who post or lurk on Dims are bash going/friend making machines/vocal/ hold their own kind of women. I think that gets lost in the shuffle/ concern for FA's. Squeaky wheel gets the grease...etc.. Maybe I just don't buy that women should have to be better at handling fears and confusion. 


bangbangbangdontlikeitputmeonignorethanks


----------



## The Orange Mage

I think the unspoken thing here is that Dims is a BBW board. FAs come here for the pic threads, the weight boards, and the paysite board, but the majority of the actual community is female.

At least this is how it seems from a semi-lurky perspective.


----------



## ladle

I think Dims needs a BORED BOARD...where people can post when they are sick of all the other rubbish being posted?
:bow:


----------



## mergirl

ladle said:


> I think Dims needs a BORED BOARD...where people can post when they are sick of all the other rubbish being posted?
> :bow:


here is my wee personal boredom retreat.
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=55175


----------



## Donna

What about regular and/or semi-regular chats for the FAs and for BBW? Perhaps the Chat Ops can help moderate, along with a recognized discussion leader (or leaders?) to facilitate the chat. Whoever is facilitating the chat simply has to create a private chat room in the chat system and then all those invited to the chat can be given the room name via PM here on the boards.

This might solve the outstanding question of who would be and wouldn't be given access to the FA (or BBW) forum as the invitations would come from members of the community to other members they know fit the category. The facilitators/organizers would have to keep an eye out for the newbies whom they believe would benefit from the discussion. And if a newbie inadvertently posts something that ruffles feathers, I'm thinking the response could be, "Hey, you really should discuss this with the FAs at the next FA Chat" instead of being "torn to shreds" as BGB puts it. 

Yeah, I know...I'm probably completely off my rocker, but I'm feeling froggy so I thought I would throw the idea out there.


----------



## CurvaceousBBWLover

I was the one who brought up a separate board for FAs. I also think we should have a separate board for BBWs. There are some things that only men will understand. There are some things that only women will understand. While Dimensions may have been started for FAs, most of the people on here are women. I that a board for men and a board for women will enrich Dimensions. While we are all one subculture, we all have different needs and people need to be able to discuss these needs without being attacked by other members who have an ax to grind. Continued arguments about who has it worse are counterproductive.


----------



## Webmaster

CurvaceousBBWLover said:


> ...While Dimensions may have been started for FAs, most of the people on here are women....



That's actually not so. Since its very start, Dimensions has always been roughly 50/50 male/female. That has always set us apart from almost every anyone else out there, and current registration stats show the split remains pretty even.


----------



## Weeze

ashmamma84 said:


> lls!



THANK YOU.


----------



## Adamantoise

I personally don't think there's any need.


----------



## Observer

That there is a need is demonstrated by the instant response to this thread, the one last Spring, and the proposal sent to Conrad which he has referenced. But it is a need primasrily on the part of only a certain segment of our community - those who need to talk seriously about their real life feelings and socialization issues. From personal experiance beginning over a hslf century ago I understand their dilemma.

The question of how this need should be addressed is a tricky one - both in relation to existing forums and the public vs private issue. From prior discussions I thought it would most likely be initially and primarily public, with a possible private subforum later if there was enough demand. Nothing I've seen since changes this. 

At the moment nothing has been decided in stone that I'm aware of. Personally, as one who has been suggested to help moderate it should it come to pass and who facors it, I share the concern about stretching existing mod resources. My designated associates in the Library have already been diverted elsewhere and I'm nominally the last mod standing in the Lounge.

I would love to be able to forward suggestions as to committed possible volunteers to Conrad to reieve these pressure points - and I think that ideally that should be done.before taking on what I see as a very interesting and much needed challenge.


----------



## exile in thighville

Webmaster said:


> A few days ago I received a very well crafted proposal for such a board. I am currently considering that.
> 
> Here are some thoughts:
> 
> - Dimensions was conceived as a forum for FAs and the fat people they admire. I felt that these two groups of people are a potential perfect match, but that both groups could benefit from learning from one another. So Dimensions overall was initially conceived for FAs, and not as the more general size acceptance community we have become. So it'd be a little weird to now have a separate FA board in what was already conceived as a size-positive FA site.
> 
> - I am generally cautious about adding boards. I do not want to see too much balkanization (splitting into ever smaller groups).
> 
> - If there were to be a separate FA board, I'd have to figure out how it relates to the current Weight Board and its subsidiary boards.
> 
> - The SSBBW board set a precedent in terms of access, so the question becomes whether the same would apply to a FA board. I am not much in favor of locked boards unless it is absolutely necessary. In the same respect, an unlocked board generally results in people either not saying what is really on their minds for fear of getting sniped, or of posting with a political correctness filter. I know that when I was exploring my own feelings I felt a need to compare notes with other FAs in private. There's probably a line between what always ought to be private and what ought to be possible to be discussed in a safe forum, but where that line is, and whether "safe" is possible is not so clear.



balkanization is stupid, i agree, chief, however, the weight board is pointless. it's always been a huge source of discontent because the people who wanted it to be fetish-specific claimed it was and those who didn't claimed it wasn't. an fa board, a fat sexuality board and an erotic weight gain board are pretty distinct entities that plenty of people can vouch for each.


----------



## James

SamanthaNY said:


> So, to those of you that want this redundant board - did anyone think of doing it the way they did it? Write up a damn proposal and submit it to him.
> 
> Cuz it doesn't matter that you want it and I don't... it only matters if Conrad does.
> 
> FFS already. Damn.



Actually... yes... I did.

I wrote a proposal and circulated it around the boards for comment amongst FAs and FFAs. The proposal was detailed and clear, including a rationale for the board and the benefits that it would bring. There were uniquely positive responses to the proposal, with many FAs/FFAs re-articulating to me the need they felt for such a board.

Conrad was appreciative of the proposal and the fact that it received a significant level of support from FAs/FFAs was not lost on him.

As Observer has already mentioned, the main stumbling block appears to be mod manpower. I have offered to assist with moderation (if nominated).

EDIT: and then I read the rest of the posts in the thread and saw that Conrad and Observer have already responded...


----------



## mossystate

Will be good to continue not seeing ' BBW ' on the main page.

A wonderful thing.


Hell if that will not speak volumes. God.


----------



## Webmaster

James said:


> Actually... yes... I did....



And it was a very good one. I mentioned that in my longish position earlier in this thread.

Unfortunately, while there's been plenty of general back and forth, there's been almost no response to the points I raised, and particularly to this one:

- The SSBBW board set a precedent in terms of access, so the question becomes whether the same would apply to a FA board. I am not much in favor of locked boards unless it is absolutely necessary. In the same respect, an unlocked board generally results in people either not saying what is really on their minds for fear of getting sniped, or of posting with a political correctness filter. I know that when I was exploring my own feelings I felt a need to compare notes with other FAs in private. There's probably a line between what always ought to be private and what ought to be possible to be discussed in a safe forum, but where that line is, and whether "safe" is possible is not so clear.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Webmaster said:


> And it was a very good one. I mentioned that in my longish position earlier in this thread.
> 
> Unfortunately, while there's been plenty of general back and forth, there's been almost no response to the points I raised, and particularly to this one:
> 
> - The SSBBW board set a precedent in terms of access, so the question becomes whether the same would apply to a FA board. I am not much in favor of locked boards unless it is absolutely necessary. In the same respect, an unlocked board generally results in people either not saying what is really on their minds for fear of getting sniped, or of posting with a political correctness filter. I know that when I was exploring my own feelings I felt a need to compare notes with other FAs in private. There's probably a line between what always ought to be private and what ought to be possible to be discussed in a safe forum, but where that line is, and whether "safe" is possible is not so clear.




Conrad, for what it is worth, even if it ends up being a men only board, I think it should be private. I know it complicates things somewhat, but if the FA board is going to be there for people to hash out their issues like they would in a therapy session then it should probably be private.

That's my two cents even though I know my opinion doesn't count for anything.


----------



## Observer

bigbellyssbbw said:


> even though I know my opinion doesn't count for anything.



Ouch! That remark stung and I for one hope I never discount anyone in the way you infer. Your opinion should (and IMHO does) matter as much as any other community member here. Obviously we all ulimately are subject to the will and opinion of our Webmaster who pays the bills.

Just as an FYO your remarks and host of others have in our discussions helped bring me around to a change in my earlier view of starting out with just a public board with strict rules. In a memo earlier today I endorsed beginning with a dual public/private forum approach, with careful screening of access to the private forum. 

And I hope that it will be FA/FFA. My opinion - but we count just the same.


----------



## Haunted

Webmaster said:


> And it was a very good one. I mentioned that in my longish position earlier in this thread.
> 
> Unfortunately, while there's been plenty of general back and forth, there's been almost no response to the points I raised, and particularly to this one:
> 
> - The SSBBW board set a precedent in terms of access, so the question becomes whether the same would apply to a FA board. I am not much in favor of locked boards unless it is absolutely necessary. In the same respect, an unlocked board generally results in people either not saying what is really on their minds for fear of getting sniped, or of posting with a political correctness filter. I know that when I was exploring my own feelings I felt a need to compare notes with other FAs in private. There's probably a line between what always ought to be private and what ought to be possible to be discussed in a safe forum, but where that line is, and whether "safe" is possible is not so clear.



I agree with Donni if there is going to be a board it should be private for a couple reasons

1. Many have mentioned how they have been hurt seeing how these people that love them have been ashamed or felt weird for doing so (understandably So) 

2. even if it where heavily moderated i don't think you could keep all the snipes out someone reads something on the fa board posted by a young ill informed curious individual, then the hit the what's annoying you thread. Dims has been very hostile lately and the fa board being open could end up being the closeted threads times 100.

3. i think some questions get completely PC'ed in an effort to not offend even when the question is not meant to offend. 

Do we need an fa board? i dont think we NEED it but it would be nice to have a place where fa can talk with other fa freely

and i understand why you don't want to keep adding boards and dividing dims up, But if there is an fa board the should be A FAT board for the smaller BBW's and BHM's

Edit: I would also along with James, wrestling guy, and mike throw my name in to volunteer as a moderator


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Observer said:


> Ouch! That remark stung and I for one hope I never discount anyone in the way you infer. Your opinion should (and IMHO does) matter as much as any other community member here. Obviously we all ulimately are subject to the will and opinion of our Webmaster who pays the bills.
> 
> Just as an FYO your remarks and host of others have in our discussions helped bring me around to a change in my earlier view of starting out with just a public board with strict rules. In a memo earlier today I endorsed beginning with a dual public/private forum approach, with careful screening of access to the private forum.
> 
> And I hope that it will be FA/FFA. My opinion - but we count just the same.



Thanks Observer. No it wasn't you, I just feel like I made some valid points in the thread that were then repeated by people and those people were validated and I was just sorta left hanging as if I were invisible. So it's nice to know at least you are listening

It would be very cool if it was Fa/FFA cos I fit somewhere in the grey middle. But I do understand that the boys feel like they need a place to discuss things.

Thanks again and sorry I came across as so grumpy.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Haunted said:


> Edit: I would also along with James, wrestling guy, and mike through my name in to volunteer as a moderator



Agreed. All 3 of them have been very no biased when they post and are very intelligent and proud FA's  I don't know you well but from what you have posted, you'd rock


----------



## kayrae

If there will be a locked FA board, then I would endorse having a locked BBW board as well. This seems rather fair. As a smaller BBW, I have health issues regarding fat that I've wanted to discuss strictly with women only. I'm too embarrassed to post it on the health board. Personally, I wouldn't want the SSBBWs excluded from the BBW board because I would like to hear their responses.

As for the FA/FFA board, what kind of rules have been proposed? Others have articulated that there shouldn't be any women-bashing (agreed 100%). Also, I suggest that the "closeted" thread and the "ambivalence as an [un]closeted FA" thread are stickies in that FA forum. Because my voice as a BBW will not be allowed on the FA board, I would feel better knowing that newbie FAs can read ALL the points that have already been discussed regarding this particular topic.




Webmaster said:


> And it was a very good one. I mentioned that in my longish position earlier in this thread.
> 
> Unfortunately, while there's been plenty of general back and forth, there's been almost no response to the points I raised, and particularly to this one:
> 
> - The SSBBW board set a precedent in terms of access, so the question becomes whether the same would apply to a FA board. I am not much in favor of locked boards unless it is absolutely necessary. In the same respect, an unlocked board generally results in people either not saying what is really on their minds for fear of getting sniped, or of posting with a political correctness filter. I know that when I was exploring my own feelings I felt a need to compare notes with other FAs in private. There's probably a line between what always ought to be private and what ought to be possible to be discussed in a safe forum, but where that line is, and whether "safe" is possible is not so clear.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

kayrae said:


> If there will be a locked FA board, then I would endorse having a locked BBW board as well. This seems rather fair. As a smaller BBW, I have health issues regarding fat that I've wanted to discuss strictly with women only. I'm too embarrassed to post it on the health board. Personally, I wouldn't want the SSBBWs excluded from the BBW board because I would like to hear their responses.
> 
> As for the FA/FFA board, what kind of rules have been proposed? Others have articulated that there shouldn't be any women-bashing (agreed 100%). Also, I suggest that the "closeted" thread and the "ambivalence as an [un]closeted FA" thread are stickies in that FA forum. Because my voice as a BBW will not be allowed on the FA board, I would feel better knowing that newbie FAs can read ALL the points that have already been discussed regarding this particular topic.




I'm a little bit confused as to how new FAs would have access to a locked board straight away. Making them stickys is probably a good idea, but I don't think they would be seen by newbies straight away.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Maybe there is a need for one now? I dunno, but Dimensions itself caters to the FA....so it might be a bit redundant to have an FA board.
> 
> Although my other half would disagree with me...a lot.



I don't know, I dont have a problem with the idea of an FA board. Sorta like a boys club and I really believe that guys need a place to just be guys.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Ella Bella said:


> I don't know, I dont have a problem with the idea of an FA board. Sorta like a boys club and I really believe that guys need a place to just be guys.



Yeah I voted maybe I'm a fence sitter, I can see it both ways. I think a boys club would be cool, but if that's the case it shouldn't be called the FA board cos I'm an FA...and I'm a girl. And there are BHMs who are male who do not like fat. So thus the quandary.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

mergirl said:


> Firstly, its not just men who are Fa's. There are plenty FFA's too who i assume would be using this board too. Its funny you never hear mention of men cutting down ffa's so maby its actually a gender issue. In which case why not just have seperate boards for men and women..when will it end? Would fat non Fa's be allowed to post in Fa boards but keep thoughts that might hurt the feelings of Fa's to themselves?
> How would this work? hmmm



but there is an FFA board already.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Ella Bella said:


> but there is an FFA board already.



No there is a FFA/BHM board. FFA implies an attraction to fat men. There is a difference.


----------



## LillyBBBW

I think if there's an FA board it should be private.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

<--- should moderate.


----------



## TraciJo67

If there is an FA board, I also think that it should be private.


----------



## kayrae

To clarify, the newbie FAs I'm referring to are the closeted ones that are still struggling with their FA identity.



BigBellySSBBW said:


> I'm a little bit confused as to how new FAs would have access to a locked board straight away. Making them stickys is probably a good idea, but I don't think they would be seen by newbies straight away.




Agreed. I think BGB would vocalize what I would want to say. 



BothGunsBlazing said:


> <--- should moderate.


----------



## LillyBBBW

It seems silly not to make it private really. If it's not going to be private why bother in the first place?

ETA: and I think BGB should be a Mod and I think exile should be banned in advance.


----------



## TraciJo67

If it's not private, just pre-emptively ban me from posting there. Just sayin'.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

BigBellySSBBW said:


> No there is a FFA/BHM board. FFA implies an attraction to fat men. There is a difference.



ok I see what you're saying there, but then there's also the GLBTQ boards. GAH too many hairs being split! 

I was just thinking the FA board would be a place where guys could get support from other guys. Not because they are in the closet and ashamed but because in my experience many FAs do not have a whole lot of experience with women and may not know how to approach a woman they find attractive. They certainly aren't going to post out on the main board about how they find Sue hot and would love to ask her out but when they go to talk to her the words won't come out of their mouths. I would hope that the moderators and some of the more seasoned FAs with their heads on straight would keep the OMG I'm so ashamed I like fat girls posts to a minimum, and give a good ass reaming to those who deserve it.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

no, wait, strike that.

The FA forum should be called..

"The Closet" 

Oh man, I am giggling way more than I should be. You know, just in case anyone already opposed the idea.


----------



## kayrae

Ella, from my understanding, James created a proposal for an FA board that includes FFAs. And they should be.



James said:


> Actually... yes... I did.
> 
> I wrote a proposal and circulated it around the boards for comment amongst FAs and FFAs. The proposal was detailed and clear, including a rationale for the board and the benefits that it would bring. There were uniquely positive responses to the proposal, with many FAs/FFAs re-articulating to me the need they felt for such a board.
> 
> Conrad was appreciative of the proposal and the fact that it received a significant level of support from FAs/FFAs was not lost on him.
> 
> As Observer has already mentioned, the main stumbling block appears to be mod manpower. I have offered to assist with moderation (if nominated).
> 
> EDIT: and then I read the rest of the posts in the thread and saw that Conrad and Observer have already responded...


----------



## mossystate

kayrae said:


> If there will be a locked FA board, then I would endorse having a locked BBW board as well. This seems rather fair. As a smaller BBW, I have health issues regarding fat that I've wanted to discuss strictly with women only.




I think we are seeing that people believe fat women do not need a place of our own.... even though there IS a BBW closet, filled with women who not only have health issues they would like to discuss, but, like with closeted FA's, have great struggles concerning dealing with family....friends....the world at large..........FA's.


Seems there is a bit of ' well, I have MINE, so, who cares '. 

Men need a place to be guys. Women need to just be happy with what they have, and keep bottled up, their struggles that deal with the psyche...or risk having all the world chime in, much of the time, with superficial shit about their looks. 

I, too, want that supposed highly valued group...BBW...to have a place to come to for guidance and support.


----------



## Tooz

Dims used to look kinda like this:







Soon, it's gonna look like this:






Hope it doesn't, y'know, go over some peoples' heads.


----------



## kayrae

And then the BBWs will be even more mad because we want to look for dresses in there!



BothGunsBlazing said:


> no, wait, strike that.
> 
> The FA forum should be called..
> 
> "The Closet"
> 
> Oh man, I am giggling way more than I should be. You know, just in case anyone already opposed the idea.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

mossystate said:


> I think we are seeing that people believe fat women do not need a place of our own.... even though there IS a BBW closet, filled with women who not only have health issues they would like to discuss, but, like with closeted FA's, have great struggles concerning dealing with family....friends....the world at large..........FA's.
> 
> 
> Seems there is a bit of ' well, I have MINE, so, who cares '.
> 
> Men need a place to be guys. Women need to just be happy with what they have, and keep bottled up, their struggles that deal with the psyche...or risk having all the world chime in, much of the time, with superficial shit about their looks.
> 
> I, too, want that supposed highly valued group...BBW...to have a place to come to for guidance and support.



Has anyone actually made a proposal for a bbw thread? hmmmm? I understand your anger, but I was just wondering if anyone had actually approached Conrad with concerns and not just ranting in this thread?


----------



## TraciJo67

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Has anyone actually made a proposal for a bbw thread? hmmmm? I understand your anger, but I was just wondering if anyone had actually approached Conrad with concerns and not just ranting in this thread?



I think that the point being made here is that it's ridiculous to continue to ask for special sub-boards and sub-sub-sub boards and subs of the sub of the sub-boards. So no, I doubt that Mossy has asked for a "special" BBW board.


----------



## Tooz

TraciJo67 said:


> I think that the point being made here is that it's ridiculous to continue to ask for special sub-boards and sub-sub-sub boards and subs of the sub of the sub-boards. So no, I doubt that Mossy has asked for a "special" BBW board.



SEE MY DIAGRAM.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

TraciJo67 said:


> I think that the point being made here is that it's ridiculous to continue to ask for special sub-boards and sub-sub-sub boards and subs of the sub of the sub-boards. So no, I doubt that Mossy has asked for a "special" BBW board.




I'm not disagreeing with you, but there a couple here who are enraged that a bbw board isn't being considered. Well the first step would be a propsal, no? I didn't say I was pro bbw board, but I also don't appreciate pointless bitching when noones being proactive to fix the situation.


----------



## TraciJo67

BigBellySSBBW said:


> I'm not disagreeing with you, but there a couple here who are enraged that a bbw board isn't being considered. Well the first step would be a propsal, no? I didn't say I was pro bbw board, but I also don't appreciate pointless bitching when they aren't being proactive to fix the situation.



I don't see how they need a license to bitch about not needing an FA board because they aren't pitching for a BBW board.

And yes, Tooz, I saw your diagram. It rocks. I can't REP you for it now coz I recently REPPED you for general harpy-ishness in another thread


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

TraciJo67 said:


> I don't see how they need a license to bitch about not needing an FA board because they aren't pitching for a BBW board.
> 
> And yes, Tooz, I saw your diagram. It rocks. I can't REP you for it now coz I recently REPPED you for general harpy-ishness in another thread



I think if you go back and read the posts I was responding to, they were saying that people (ssbws) are saying bbws shouldn't have a place of their own because we already have ours. Unless I completely misread the post 10 times. They ARE wanting a bbw board, that's the point.


----------



## exile in thighville

why can't we all just get along


----------



## Tooz

TraciJo67 said:


> I don't see how they need a license to bitch about not needing an FA board because they aren't pitching for a BBW board.
> 
> And yes, Tooz, I saw your diagram. It rocks. I can't REP you for it now coz I recently REPPED you for general harpy-ishness in another thread



I have tended to be a harpy as of late, you are correct.


----------



## Tooz

exile in thighville said:


> why can't we all just get along



I find this funny coming from you.


----------



## TraciJo67

BigBellySSBBW said:


> I think if you go back and read the posts I was responding to, they were saying that people (ssbws) are saying bbws shouldn't have a place of their own because we already have ours. Unless I completely misread the post 10 times. They ARE wanting a bbw board, that's the point.



I don't want to speak for Mossy (she beats me with a nail-encrusted 2x4 when I try) but I think that what she was saying is if it's so necessary for FA's to have their own board, why aren't BBW's being extended the same privilege? Also, since I'm not on the witness stand and I haven't sworn under oath, I'll crawl out further on that limb and suggest that she wasn't stating a NEED for a BBW board so much as claiming in a circuituous route that sub boards aren't necessary at all. 

If I'm wrong, I'll eat this tasty (and free) Quizno's sub sitting on my desk as my punishment


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

exile in thighville said:


> am i ever not
> 
> but really the way people are whining about OMG IT WOULD BE HORRIBLE TO HAVE AN FA BOARD when they should be fucking off instead





exile in thighville said:


> why can't we all just get along



don't these, sort of, you know, cancel each other out?


----------



## LillyBBBW

Tooz said:


> I find this funny coming from you.



PLEASE don't tell him he's funny.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

TraciJo67 said:


> I don't want to speak for Mossy (she beats me with a nail-encrusted 2x4 when I try) but I think that what she was saying is if it's so necessary for FA's to have their own board, why aren't BBW's being extended the same privilege? Also, since I'm not on the witness stand and I haven't sworn under oath, I'll crawl out further on that limb and suggest that she wasn't stating a NEED for a BBW board so much as claiming in a circuituous route that sub boards aren't necessary at all.
> 
> If I'm wrong, I'll eat this tasty (and free) Quizno's sub sitting on my desk as my punishment



And I have said from the start that having several boards is divisive..as Tooz has greatly demonstrated for those who need visual aids. But IF there is an FA board, they have proposed for it and asked for it had several threads about it. In short, they worked for it. BBWs shouldn't have a forum just out of default. IMO anyways. If they want it, more power to them, but there has to be footwork involved.


----------



## Tooz

LillyBBBW said:


> PLEASE don't tell him he's funny.



I should have clarified! Not funny "ha ha."

:>


----------



## James

I can appreciate the anti-balkanization argument but my view is that its a little inappropriate in the case of these forums. We aren't a bunch of countries that don't want to have anything to do with eachother... at least... I don't see dims like that....

I see strength in diversity (thats the ecologist in me speaking). In nature, in order for diversity to be fostered, one also needs a diversity in supporting habitat types. Not all species are going to do as well as they could if you put them the same field. Sometimes, by putting some species in the same space they compete to the detriment of the diversity of the ecosystem as a whole.... We can all agree that squirrels, birds and bears all have a steak in the forest they both live in...even if their habitat spaces within that forest don't always overlap.

ok, waffly analogy over.... my point is that we are all on the same team here but we all have our invidual sets of issues and experiences that can sometimes be a strength to us and can sometimes be a weakness. By providing a space where each set of experiences and ideas can develop, we are actually adding to the overall strength of the dimensions 'forest'. As long as strong links between these spaces (which I believe there are; i.e. main board, lounge, hyde park, events boards etc.) continue to exist, then the overall community is not weakened... I would argue that it is improved....

ok.... enough esoteric prattle from me... ha!


----------



## Tooz

I'm calling it "Ohioization" now.

Someone is done taking this seriously and I THINK IT'S ME


----------



## mossystate

BigBellySSBBW said:


> And I have said from the start that having several boards is divisive..as Tooz has greatly demonstrated for those who need visual aids. But IF there is an FA board, they have proposed for it and asked for it had several threads about it. In short, they worked for it. BBWs shouldn't have a forum just out of default. IMO anyways. If they want it, more power to them, but there has to be footwork involved.



I love how things ONLY affect people, if THEY are part of that ' group '.

Maybe I realize that the ' footwork ' would be in vain. MAYBE I keep " ranting " and am " enraged " because I want those silent BBW to see that at least a few people give a flying shit.

Maybe I want to be ' on the record ', so that young BBW who might not even be old enough to post on Dims, but is lurking, KNOWS that not everybody is going to dismiss their struggles...and that some people DO know that sometimes you are not in need...or want...just another vapid pep talk or to see that all they need is to catch the eye of some boy and all their troubles will go....POOF!

Why are you not more vocal about the FA board being ' divisive '? *L* Is it that after we have an FA board...an FFA/BHM board...a GLBTQ board.... an SSBBW board....well, THAT'S when things get all divisive. And, I AM part of the SSBBW board, but don't tell me that it is not a normal human mindset that, once I gots mine, well, I am kind of satisfied. You are even asking about being included as a female FA. We ALL wanna feel like we will be heard.

Traci, I actually am asking for a ' special ' BBW board. Yes, there is the feeling of things being unequal with one board and not the other...but, that of course is tied to a similar need, for individual human beings who would be using either board. This is not me just saying..." oh, THEY have one...I want my BBW sisters to have one tooooo...just becauuuuuuse! ". 

Again...I don't think there is the same deep understanding by many people how much of a struggle a closeted fat girl/woman can experience. I am not Norma Rae here....but I have shed a couple of tears of what seems like a dismissal of a huge group out here. They did not ask me to be some sort of spokeswoman...sheesh...no...and I am no fucking saint...but I DO give a shit about people and fairness when it comes to this sort of thing. I had come to terms with what Dims meant/did for me. Now, with this...it's a scab being torn off. I honestly do think some people don't get it.


----------



## TraciJo67

mossystate said:


> Traci, I actually am asking for a ' special ' BBW board. Yes, there is the feeling of things being unequal with one board and not the other...but, that of course is tied to a similar need, for individual human beings who would be using either board. This is not me just saying..." oh, THEY have one...I want my BBW sisters to have one tooooo...just becauuuuuuse! ".



Well, I'd eat my tasty sub, but it's already vanished down the piehole. Damn, me.

Mossy, what I'd like to see, more than anything, is a place where women can share their feelings without trolls stampeding in with very unwelcome, inappropriately placed one-liners about how hot fat chicks are. And I'd really like to be able to share my opinion without the very sexist assumption being made that I'm a shrew, Harpy, enrolled member of the Harper Valley PTA and that I have no sense of humor. I'd like for closeted FA's to understand how counter-productive and harmful their cowardice is. And finally, I'd like for Sparkles to post pics pls thx of his recent Birkie adventure. 

Am I going to get any of that? Nope. I can't say that I understand your desire for a separate BBW board, but absolutely, I understand your very sincere intent.


----------



## BLUEeyedBanshee

Ok, I'll chime in...

I can see the benefits of both a BBW and a (F)FA board. There are items that one group or the other may not be comfortable talking about with everyone. There are issues that possibly one may want to talk about without being jumped on for having such feelings. In either group.

As a FFA I see where we are a bit more free on the FFA/BHM board to talk about the feelings of conflict etc without being made to feel worse about it. Believe me there are some demons (as human beings) we all need to work through without having to justify them or being made to feel worse regarding those same feelings.

Personally I think a "protected" area one where negativity etc will not be tolerated would be fine. However I do see where an even more private area could be beneficial as well. 

Does this mean that there'll be more separation or that people won't participate on the main board or in the lounge etc? Nope I don't see that happening, but having a place, a sort of safe haven, to work out issues that aren't usually able to be worked out with people of a like mind could be beneficial to all. 

I am one of the ones that signed the proposal for the (F)FA board. I can see the use of it, I can see the benefit of it, I don't see how it will cause any sort of separation, I see it as another way to build a sense of community and a way to help understand one another.

Maybe I'm not making any sense with what I'm saying, but it's the way I feel about it.


----------



## Weeze

Forgive me if this has already been brought up, this thread is too long and i'm too impatient BUT....

We're talking about FA's and "the men"

Would FFA's and WOMEN be included???

EDIT: DAMMIT BANSHEE


----------



## mossystate

TraciJo67 said:


> I can't say that I understand your desire for a separate BBW board, but absolutely, I understand your very sincere intent.



That could be, in part, because neither of us need it? It is the same idea behind the FA board. Sigh.


----------



## LillyBBBW

mossystate said:


> I love how things ONLY affect people, if THEY are part of that ' group '.
> 
> Maybe I realize that the ' footwork ' would be in vain. MAYBE I keep " ranting " and am " enraged " because I want those silent BBW to see that at least a few people give a flying shit.
> 
> *Maybe I want to be ' on the record ', so that young BBW who might not even be old enough to post on Dims, but is lurking, KNOWS that not everybody is going to dismiss their struggles...and that some people DO know that sometimes you are not in need...or want...just another vapid pep talk or to see that all they need is to catch the eye of some boy and all their troubles will go....POOF!*
> 
> Why are you not more vocal about the FA board being ' divisive '? *L* Is it that after we have an FA board...an FFA/BHM board...a GLBTQ board.... an SSBBW board....well, THAT'S when things get all divisive. And, I AM part of the SSBBW board, but don't tell me that it is not a normal human mindset that, once I gots mine, well, I am kind of satisfied. You are even asking about being included as a female FA. We ALL wanna feel like we will be heard.
> 
> Traci, I actually am asking for a ' special ' BBW board. Yes, there is the feeling of things being unequal with one board and not the other...but, that of course is tied to a similar need, for individual human beings who would be using either board. This is not me just saying..." oh, THEY have one...I want my BBW sisters to have one tooooo...just becauuuuuuse! ".
> 
> Again...I don't think there is the same deep understanding by many people how much of a struggle a closeted fat girl/woman can experience. I am not Norma Rae here....but I have shed a couple of tears of what seems like a dismissal of a huge group out here. They did not ask me to be some sort of spokeswoman...sheesh...no...and I am no fucking saint...but I DO give a shit about people and fairness when it comes to this sort of thing. I had come to terms with what Dims meant/did for me. Now, with this...it's a scab being torn off. *I honestly do think some people don't get it*.



You can put me on that list Mossy. I've heard this complaint enough times not to dismiss it staight out of hand but I have to say this message has been completley lost on me. Aside from a few people who were soundly slapped as soon as it exited their mouths, I've not been aware of any vibe that tells women we should place our value in the fact that there are men that like us. On the contrary, the reason many of us are shooing the men away to find their own cave to commiserate on such things is because the women here don't feel it's necessary to help them along their so called journey. The message in that points more toward the opposite. While some do take solace in the affections bestowed here which is their right I've found the examples set by the women who participate here to say anything but, including yourself. It's possible I'm misunderstanding your meaning but in truth I'm finding the idea that there are young little girls hanging out here thinking the women here are special because somebody finds us hot a bit insulting not only to the women here but to the girls watching.


----------



## Still a Skye fan

I don't feel any need for an FA board. There are already several nice boards here on different topics and that's sufficient for me.


Dennis


----------



## mossystate

LillyBBBW said:


> You can put me on that list Mossy. I've heard this complaint enough times not to dismiss it staight out of hand but I have to say this message has been completley lost on me. Aside from a few people who were soundly slapped as soon as it exited their mouths, I've not been aware of any vibe that tells women we should place our value in the fact that there are men that like us. On the contrary, the reason many of us are shooing the men away to find their own cave to commiserate on such things is because the women here don't feel it's necessary to help them along their so called journey. The message in that points more toward the opposite. While some do take solace in the affections bestowed here which is their right I've found the examples set by the women who participate here to say anything but, including yourself. It's possible I'm misunderstanding your meaning but in truth I'm finding the idea that there are young little girls hanging out here thinking the women here are special because somebody finds us hot a bit insulting not only to the women here but to the girls watching.



I have to leave and will be back later. I don't think I was clear enough, and I am not saying that some feel good stuff is not a necessary step along any persons ' path '. It is more what is left out...not what is put in. Anyway, I gotta go for now!


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

So, since I have been mentioned a few times (in a good way, thank you very much  ), I feel I should probably weigh in with my feelings.

1. Dimensions has several boards, with 1 private board (and the clubhouse). It would seem sensible that any more additions should be carefully considered.

2. I am unclear as to whether a FA or an male board is proposed. I can see that lesbian/bi FA's may be unclear as to whether or not they would "belong". Could the FFA/BHM board be expanded to include lesbian/bi FA's? This would obviously leave the proposed new board as a male only FA board. Yes, there is the GLBQT (sp?) board, but is this a viable alternative?

3. There's an awful lot of angry feelings in this thread, over what seems to be a fairly innocuous proposal. Surely any other issues other than those pertaining to the matter in hand should be taken to other threads?

4.If volunteers for moderators are needed, I would be more than happy to. Dimensions does seem to have a gender-unequal split of moderators, which doesn't match it's demographic.

5. My wish would be for (I think!) a private male FA board. It should be easily findable so new FA's can find it. I think FFA's and lesbian/bi FA's already have their own boards, and the Weight Board in my opinion is gender and sexuality neutral, but is obviously public.

6. I assume that boards can be made only viewable by registered users? Can this be taken further, and a user barred from a specific board only? Maybe an alternative to a private board could be a public board, but if users abuse it, they could be barred from that one specific board. This could also work with other boards that are open to misuse, such as the Erotic Weight Gain board. It would certainly limit the moderation required!

Stan and I discussed this a while ago, but I recall that Stan emerged somewhat battered!

The Supersize Issues board (mentioned as it is currently the only private board) also caused a lot of upset when it was first launched, and I can only hope the anger and downright abusive comments perpetrated in this thread settle down no matter what the outcome.

Mike


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

fatchicksrockuk said:


> 5. My wish would be for (I think!) a male FA board. I think FFA's and lesbian/bi FA's already have their own boards, and the Weight Board in my opinion is gender and sexuality neutral, but is obviously public.



none of the aforementioned boards are private so I do not see how they are equal.


----------



## olwen

mossystate said:


> I love how things ONLY affect people, if THEY are part of that ' group '.
> 
> Maybe I realize that the ' footwork ' would be in vain. MAYBE I keep " ranting " and am " enraged " because I want those silent BBW to see that at least a few people give a flying shit.
> 
> Maybe I want to be ' on the record ', so that young BBW who might not even be old enough to post on Dims, but is lurking, KNOWS that not everybody is going to dismiss their struggles...and that some people DO know that sometimes you are not in need...or want...just another vapid pep talk or to see that all they need is to catch the eye of some boy and all their troubles will go....POOF!
> 
> Why are you not more vocal about the FA board being ' divisive '? *L* Is it that after we have an FA board...an FFA/BHM board...a GLBTQ board.... an SSBBW board....well, THAT'S when things get all divisive. And, I AM part of the SSBBW board, but don't tell me that it is not a normal human mindset that, once I gots mine, well, I am kind of satisfied. You are even asking about being included as a female FA. We ALL wanna feel like we will be heard.
> 
> Traci, I actually am asking for a ' special ' BBW board. Yes, there is the feeling of things being unequal with one board and not the other...but, that of course is tied to a similar need, for individual human beings who would be using either board. This is not me just saying..." oh, THEY have one...I want my BBW sisters to have one tooooo...just becauuuuuuse! ".
> 
> Again...I don't think there is the same deep understanding by many people how much of a struggle a closeted fat girl/woman can experience. I am not Norma Rae here....but I have shed a couple of tears of what seems like a dismissal of a huge group out here. They did not ask me to be some sort of spokeswoman...sheesh...no...and I am no fucking saint...but I DO give a shit about people and fairness when it comes to this sort of thing. I had come to terms with what Dims meant/did for me. Now, with this...it's a scab being torn off. I honestly do think some people don't get it.



Mossy, I think I'm one of the people that don't get it. I don't see the need for a bbw board. I really do feel that women in general are better at reaching out when they need emotional support. I'm not saying all women are like that, but in general I think women are more resourceful when it comes to that. Especially in having discussions about support for bhms. (In threads that just went round and round and drove me crazy). One of the things that a few BHMs told me in PM is that men are not as likely as women to reach out for emotional support because too many men think it isn't manly, and will be even less likely to seek out that support under scrutiny of women. Yet they wanted to be able to talk to other bhms in the way that women talk to other women. 

I see tons of posts all over the forums from bbws about their issues. Less so with men. I just figure if women really need support from other women they'd be more likely to reach out.

I do get that someone might notice a lack of a bbw board after seeing all the others but really, I probably wouldn't have noticed, no in fact I hadn't thought of that at all till you pointed it out. 



TraciJo67 said:


> Well, I'd eat my tasty sub, but it's already vanished down the piehole. Damn, me.
> 
> Mossy, what I'd like to see, more than anything, is a place where women can share their feelings without trolls stampeding in with very unwelcome, inappropriately placed one-liners about how hot fat chicks are. And I'd really like to be able to share my opinion without the very sexist assumption being made that I'm a shrew, Harpy, enrolled member of the Harper Valley PTA and that I have no sense of humor. I'd like for closeted FA's to understand how counter-productive and harmful their cowardice is. And finally, I'd like for Sparkles to post pics pls thx of his recent Birkie adventure.
> 
> Am I going to get any of that? Nope. I can't say that I understand your desire for a separate BBW board, but absolutely, I understand your very sincere intent.



After reading this I understand the intent as well. I just don't think it's necessary.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

olwen said:


> I do get that someone might notice a lack of a bbw board after seeing all the others but really, I probably wouldn't have noticed, no in fact I hadn't thought of that at all till you pointed it out.



If all the boards are private you wouldn't notice them, lol. So newbies would come and see Dimensions as we now see it. People who don't have access to the SSBBW board don't see it. People who don't have access to the Clubhouse don't see it. It would be the same with the FA board, lol. So I don't know who it is that has special seeing powers....but it isn't moi! lol


----------



## olwen

LillyBBBW said:


> You can put me on that list Mossy. I've heard this complaint enough times not to dismiss it staight out of hand but I have to say this message has been completley lost on me. Aside from a few people who were soundly slapped as soon as it exited their mouths, I've not been aware of any vibe that tells women we should place our value in the fact that there are men that like us.* On the contrary, the reason many of us are shooing the men away to find their own cave to commiserate on such things is because the women here don't feel it's necessary to help them along their so called journey. *The message in that points more toward the opposite. While some do take solace in the affections bestowed here which is their right I've found the examples set by the women who participate here to say anything but, including yourself. It's possible I'm misunderstanding your meaning but in truth I'm finding the idea that there are young little girls hanging out here thinking the women here are special because somebody finds us hot a bit insulting not only to the women here but to the girls watching.



Precisely. That's my main reason for wanting it separate. 


And I'm sure all genders and sexual orientations would be included because the issues are essentially the same.


----------



## exile in thighville

BothGunsBlazing said:


> don't these, sort of, you know, cancel each other out?



i like that you both got the joke without being sure that you did

also tooz i'd like to take this opportunity to tell you i was calling your post retarded, not you, who i know personally is not, so sandie s-r will stop sending me these "infractions"


----------



## olwen

BigBellySSBBW said:


> If all the boards are private you wouldn't notice them, lol. So newbies would come and see Dimensions as we now see it. People who don't have access to the SSBBW board don't see it. People who don't have access to the Clubhouse don't see it. It would be the same with the FA board, lol. So I don't know who it is that has special seeing powers....but it isn't moi! lol



I was talking about it if were public, but you're right. If it's private a new person wouldn't notice at all.


----------



## bexy

I completely don't see the need for an FA board as I think it would be pretty pointless. 

If its private, then it could end up being a place for guys to moan about how hard it is for them to "come out" only to hop straight to the paysite boards to say how hot all the girls are...

If its public, it *will.end.in.tears*!!

Why not start with a sticky thread like we did with the GLBTQ board, and see how it develops before launching another new board??


----------



## LillyBBBW

mossystate said:


> I have to leave and will be back later. I don't think I was clear enough, and I am not saying that some feel good stuff is not a necessary step along any persons ' path '. It is more what is left out...not what is put in. Anyway, I gotta go for now!



There seems to be this stigma attatched to a woman who admits to having confidence issues. We all have to be big and bad here, anything less and the trite little pep talks come but aren't they ALL trite for one reason or another? People have multifaceted ways of finding their groove and there is no consenses of thought on what that best way is. There are some who DO find their groove in the knowledge of being attractive to the opposite sex which often gets flagged off as being weak or impure. Some pose naked, another thing that often meets with hissing here. These methods aren't seen as respectable so why not create a nice little BBW forum where more respectable pathways can discussed? People who don't want that are obviously finding strenth or purpose in the wrong things, right? Or is it the other way around, people who balk at showing themselves naked are obviously not 'out' or confident enough?

There isn't a single answer for everyone. Most will meet with some form of resentment from someone. People are constantly being told that their need for 'this' or 'that' is wrong or not enough by somebody. What will be the feel good pep talk in this forum? In there you will find more of the same. Flaming picture whores with zillions of fans vs. overeducated harpies in business suits who both feel their way is best and both would be exactly right. At this point I think people can find a little of both here, enough to find common ground and be pissed off at the same time. I do admit, I would love to be able to make a post about how to dress to downplay a large belly in the workplace without wolf whistles and cries of dispair from a wayward FA. For every person who feels there's not enough respectable stuff here there's a paysite model who got a nasty PM when she posted. A BBW board to discuss confidence issues is akin to 1000 people ordering one pizza I think. Just trying to agree on something will result in more fighting and disagreement, not the supportive invironment that would be ideal.

ETA: Maybe Mike is right and this subject does need its own thread.


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

bexy said:


> If its private, then it could end up being a place for guys to moan about how hard it is for them to "come out" only to hop straight to the paysite boards to say how hot all the girls are...



It's all about baby steps, walking before you can run! If this is what helps some guys become more open about their preference, then so be it. They can be offered private support by other, more experienced FA's. The paysite models get a few more compliments, which I don't think would upset them (so long as they are tasteful!)

Mike


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

bexy said:


> I completely don't see the need for an FA board as I think it would be pretty pointless.
> 
> If its private, then it could end up being a place for guys to moan about how hard it is for them to "come out" only to hop straight to the paysite boards to say how hot all the girls are...




I don't really see the problem with that. At all. The paysite girls are there to be looked at. WE are there to be looked at....by married guys, by guys who date thin girls, by guys who are FAs but aren't sure about it all yet.

It's sorta like not being out of the gay closet and going to a gay club to look at the talent. It doesn't make you any less gay just because you aren't out.

I think a lot men are whimps (sorry guys!) and most of them need to be reassured that what they think and feel are ok.

I really don't see why it is so bad. You can also relate it to a young boy of 13 who isn't sure what is happening to his body when he looks at posters of young women.

Sexuality is complex. Very complex. And when you look at how fat is viewed in this world; (ie being fat is often times worse than being gay, at least from a legal perspective) I can see why some men need some coaxing to be honest about what they really went when in reality they could just walk away and pretend they never had the urge.


----------



## Tooz

exile in thighville said:


> dirty laundry!?



There's this thing, it's called a PM


----------



## exile in thighville

Tooz said:


> There's this thing, it's called a PM



likewise sweety


----------



## CurvaceousBBWLover

I think we should have an FA board for men and a BBW board for women and that these boards should be unlocked.


----------



## Tooz

exile in thighville said:


> likewise sweety



At the risk of sounding juvenile: you did it first, now didn't you?


----------



## Zandoz

I can see why some want it but in the end I'd be afraid of it fostering more "us vs them"/"those ___ on the ___ board bla bla bla" kinds of things that already happen way too often.


----------



## exile in thighville

Tooz said:


> risk of sounding juvenile



since when


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Jesus Christ. Quit it already.


----------



## Tooz

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Jesus Christ. Quit it already.



I do have to say, this is the sentiment I have about this thread and the proposed new forum.


----------



## exile in thighville

like i said i apologize publicly for letting her think i called her retarded and if she wants to call that dirty laundry whatever


----------



## exile in thighville

Tooz said:


> I do have to say, this is the sentiment I have about this thread and the proposed new forum.



are you an fa tooz


----------



## Tooz

Good fucking Lord, for someone who likes to say "drop it," well...yeah.

Am I an FA? Do some digging, I'm sure you can find out.


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

I don't normally say things which are likely to cause a fight, but.......

First, an analogy (well, two):

Should the entire population of the USA be able to vote on California's next Governor? No? Or should it be left to Californian's? Is this fair? I'm sure the Governor of California has an influence outside California!

Should the entire European Union be able to vote on the next UK Prime Minister? No? Etc...
.
.
.
.
.
Should the entire of Dimensions be able to vote on whether a specific community within Dimensions has it's own board?

*Lights the blue touchpaper and runs*

Mike


----------



## exile in thighville

Tooz said:


> Am I an FA? Do some digging, I'm sure you can find out.



i have no interest

here is the flowchart:

are you an fa y/n

if y go to: your opinion is welcome regarding fa forum

if n go to: why should anyone care what you have to say about an fa forum

now you can either say something half-relevant about balkanization or other stuff


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

exile in thighville said:


> i have no interest
> 
> here is the flowchart:
> 
> are you an fa y/n
> 
> if y go to: your opinion is welcome regarding fa forum
> 
> if n go to: why should anyone care what you have to say about an fa forum
> 
> now you can either say something half-relevant about balkanization or other stuff



Hey, this is kind of like my post


----------



## Tooz

Tooz said:


> Am I an FA? Do some digging, I'm sure you can find out.





exile in thighville said:


> i have no interest
> 
> here is the flowchart:
> 
> are you an fa y/n



Then why did you ask? Seriously.


----------



## olwen

exile in thighville said:


> i have no interest
> 
> here is the flowchart:
> 
> are you an fa y/n
> 
> if y go to: your opinion is welcome regarding fa forum
> 
> if n go to: why should anyone care what you have to say about an fa forum
> 
> now you can either say something half-relevant about balkanization or other stuff



Seems to me like half the reason so many want an FA board is because of the reaction some bbws have to closeted sentiments, you know, angry self-righteous "tirades" a.k.a. not being compassionate enough and whatnot and how so many feel that a lack of compassion is counterproductive for their own growth. That's why some seem to care about what nonFAs say about an FA forum. I think we have every right to voice opinions since our very existence is the cause of such ire......Makes me think you're trying to say that all the fat girls should just stfu and look pretty like good little girls are supposed to do.  If that isn't the case then please school me.


----------



## SamanthaNY

See, here's the nifty thing. THIS BOARD ISN'T PRIVATE. This thread asked a question, and people have answered. There weren't any qualifiers about being an FA or not. So this crap about "you shouldn't get to express _your _opinion" is just bullshit. I don't particularly care who welcomes it, but I'm damn sure not gonna let anyone (not in charge) tell me I can't post here. Screw that. 

We can all damn well comment on whatever thread we want. When you guys have your private balls-only (sorry, FFAs, I'm on a rant) board? Then you can giggle-fart all day long about how "certain" folks can't comment. But for now? Table that shit, or start your own thread (cuz we need more on this) stating that it's FAs only. Hey, that'd be a good start on your own little clubhouse there. _Yay_ you. 

I don't know how things work in the EU, but in NY and California - we're free to post and OPINION on pretty much anything we want. 

And here at Dim? *None* of us are voting.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

SamanthaNY said:


> See, here's the nifty thing. THIS BOARD ISN'T PRIVATE. This thread asked a question, and people have answered. There weren't any qualifiers about being an FA or not. So this crap about "you shouldn't get to express _your _opinion" is just bullshit. I don't particularly care who welcomes it, but I'm damn sure not gonna let anyone (not in charge) tell me I can't post here. Screw that.
> 
> We can all damn well comment on whatever thread we want. When you guys have your private balls-only (sorry, FFAs, I'm on a rant) board? Then you can giggle-fart all day long about how "certain" folks can't comment. But for now? Table that shit, or start your own thread (cuz we need more on this) stating that it's FAs only. Hey, that'd be a good start on your own little clubhouse there. _Yay_ you.
> 
> I don't know how things work in the EU, but in NY and California - we're free to post and OPINION on pretty much anything we want.
> 
> And here at Dim? *None* of us are voting.



Oh damn Sam....it's says I have to spread some more rep before giving it to you again!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

SamanthaNY said:


> See, here's the nifty thing. THIS BOARD ISN'T PRIVATE. This thread asked a question, and people have answered. There weren't any qualifiers about being an FA or not. So this crap about "you shouldn't get to express _your _opinion" is just bullshit. I don't particularly care who welcomes it, but I'm damn sure not gonna let anyone (not in charge) tell me I can't post here. Screw that.
> 
> We can all damn well comment on whatever thread we want. When you guys have your private balls-only (sorry, FFAs, I'm on a rant) board? Then you can giggle-fart all day long about how "certain" folks can't comment. But for now? Table that shit, or start your own thread (cuz we need more on this) stating that it's FAs only. Hey, that'd be a good start on your own little clubhouse there. _Yay_ you.
> 
> I don't know how things work in the EU, but in NY and California - we're free to post and OPINION on pretty much anything we want.
> 
> And here at Dim? *None* of us are voting.



See attached picture 

View attachment Voting.jpg


----------



## Haunted

BigBellySSBBW said:


> I think a lot men are whimps (sorry guys!) and most of them need to be reassured that what they think and feel are ok.



Wimp is kind of a strong word... But in a nut shell i think Donni has it i know As rough and tough as we'd like to think we are, reasurrance that we aren't always Pigs and that liking xyz doesn't mean anything outside of, you like what you like 



Zandoz said:


> I can see why some want it but in the end I'd be afraid of it fostering more "us vs them"/"those ___ on the ___ board bla bla bla" kinds of things that already happen way too often.



Yes cause i find myself wondering what all the supersized are doing on the invisible SSBBW board. 

it already is us verse them. Mer asked a simple question trying to understand why some would hide their preference. and it turned into a who has it worse brawl! which isn't even up for discussion i said it earlier they are both separate animals. each side has their own issues and quirks but what happens far too often is an fa will ask a question or make a statement and it turns into an all out war and the question never really gets answered.


----------



## FatAndProud

*Le sigh* At least I have this to make me feel better


----------



## SamanthaNY

fatchicksrockuk said:


> See attached picture



Yeah, that's what they would call AN OPINION POLL. 

Near as I can tell, in California (the vote you referenced), they vote to actually make something happen. We don't get that here. We get... (say it with me now) OPINNNNNNNNNNNNNNION POLLS.


----------



## exile in thighville

lock thread


----------



## olwen

exile in thighville said:


> lock thread



I take it you vehemently disagree.


Allllllllllrighty then.


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

SamanthaNY said:


> Yeah, that's what they would call AN OPINION POLL.
> 
> Near as I can tell, in California (the vote you referenced), they vote to actually make something happen. We don't get that here. We get... (say it with me now) OPINNNNNNNNNNNNNNION POLLS.



I'm really not sure why this issue stirs up such strong feelings. And if you noticed, I posed questions in my post, not opinions.

I think that given that decisions regarding issues such as this are made by Conrad, an opinion poll is a valid method to gauge the wishes and desires of the Dimensions population. But I really don't get why this is such an issue.


----------



## LillyBBBW

FatAndProud said:


> *Le sigh* At least I have this to make me feel better



Is this a Rick Roll? Cuz that's ALL we need around here.


----------



## Haunted

fatchicksrockuk said:


> I'm really not sure why this issue stirs up such strong feelings. And if you noticed, I posed questions in my post, not opinions.
> 
> I think that given that decisions regarding issues such as this are made by Conrad, an opinion poll is a valid method to gauge the wishes and desires of the Dimensions population. But I really don't get why this is such an issue.



That is a good question why are some so outright against there being a couple more private boards? No one has said there shouldn't be a BBW board No-one said that the fa board has to be men only these are things that need to be decided by the webmaster. I rarely here anyone cry about being left out of the ssbbw board


----------



## Risible

I'd like to see the creation of an FA board, as I see far too many posts criticizing a guy for, well, thinking like a guy. Give them a place where they can be un-PC, a place where they don't need to scrub their posts first so as to not give offense when expressing themselves (though no one should feel free to treat anyone as an object, sexual or otherwise).

I think a public forum is fine, but it should be a protected board, like the EWG board. Enough with the derision, the piling on, the off-topic, personal posts made because an opposing point of view is posted or a sensibility is breeched. Let this be a zone where rational, calm, thoughtful, respectful sharing prevails. No one should be able to tell others how or what they should think. Encouragement encouraged!

Include everyone who is a self-proclaimed Fat Admirer. If I'm not mistaken, Conrad coined the term Fat Admirer. Let him set the definition of FA: Exclusively male? Any gender or preference, as long as one is a Fat Admirer? And then label accordingly.


----------



## TotallyReal

CCool thread.


----------



## katorade

I'll freaking say it again over here:



> I mean c'mon...a support group for men that like fat women that doesn't actually INCLUDE talking to or confronting any fat women? That doesn't sound stupid to anyone else? Really?


What the hell good is a private FA board going to do? Essentially, all it's going to be is yet another closet. You leave one closet and step right into another one, but this one has the benefit/detriment of having a defined group of people mold your outlooks.

I'm not particularly keen on going from the place we're at now, where some larger women feel confronted by the crap we face on a daily basis to a place where we're confronted by no other points of the male view besides the ones who have been molded to be polite and nice helpful. That's not fucking reality!

Seriously, if you want to be a separatist and not be confronted with varying opinions and problems, and not want OTHER people to comment on YOUR opinions, then I suggest you stay away from an open forum, dig a hole at the beach, and bury your head deep, deep in the sand.

As a BBW, I would rather not blind myself into thinking that everyone is okay with who I am and that it's all shits and giggles and I'm a lovely precious rose and I'm always right and everybody loves me. That just means when I step away from the computer and walk out my front door that I'm in for a very rude awakening. At the same time, I also don't want to be confronted with a new wave of FAs pouring in from their own little private hidey hole thinking that they know "how to talk to me". Making separate private BBW and FA boards is going to do exactly that.

It doesn't fucking matter if some kid gets coddled and trained on how to be a "proper" FA. He's still going to have to confront the entire BBW populous at some point, and there's NO GUARANTEE that we're all going to like what he has to say all of the time. For fuck's sake. 

You don't put training wheels on someone's bike before sending them down a flaming ramp over a pit of alligators. You either just shove 'em down as is and let them skid along the way or tell them to stay the hell off the ride. Sure you'll have some people crash and burn, but you'll also have some people make it to the other side, and they're going to be better people for it. THOSE are the people I would like to see on here.


----------



## Fascinita

I voted "No." We need to learn how to relate to one another directly, men and women, fat and thin. I don't see why the issues faced by FAs could not be addressed out in the boards. 

I'm interested in seeing a list of issues faced by FAs that could not be discussed on the rest of the boards now. Honestly, other than issues with not liking to hear that fat people don't want to be anyone's dirty secrets (or objects of pleasure kept silent and compliant and maybe later discarded when inconvenient), I can't think of anything. But then, I'm not an FA in the definition as it seems to be envisioned in this discussion, i.e., FA = male, usually thin, heterosexual.

If the objective is to keep potential objectors from speaking their minds about dunderhead thinking, it'll be interesting to see whether that's successful in the longrun. The BHM/FFA and GLBTQ forums work, IMO, because they truly do serve the *inclusionary* interests of sub-sections of the community. If the vision that's driving this FA board is instead *exclusionary*, I would venture that it's never possible to shield oneself entirely from criticism where criticism is merited and where more than one person gathers for purposes other than to "yes" one another to death. *Wherever there's a group, there is internal conflict.* Separating the FAs from the fat people is not going to ensure that FAs are never criticized, though it certainly may *shield the eyes of FAs from the realities of dealing with fat people with real wants and needs* as anything beyond half-fantasized, silent, compliant, easily discarded fatties.


----------



## Haunted

katorade said:


> I'll freaking say it again over here:
> 
> What the hell good is a private FA board going to do? Essentially, all it's going to be is yet another closet. You leave one closet and step right into another one, but this one has the benefit/detriment of having a defined group of people mold your outlooks.
> 
> I'm not particularly keen on going from the place we're at now, where some larger women feel confronted by the crap we face on a daily basis to a place where we're confronted by no other points of the male view besides the ones who have been molded to be polite and nice helpful. That's not fucking reality!
> 
> Seriously, if you want to be a separatist and not be confronted with varying opinions and problems, and not want OTHER people to comment on YOUR opinions, then I suggest you stay away from an open forum, dig a hole at the beach, and bury your head deep, deep in the sand.
> 
> As a BBW, I would rather not blind myself into thinking that everyone is okay with who I am and that it's all shits and giggles and I'm a lovely precious rose and I'm always right and everybody loves me. That just means when I step away from the computer and walk out my front door that I'm in for a very rude awakening. At the same time, I also don't want to be confronted with a new wave of FAs pouring in from their own little private hidey hole thinking that they know "how to talk to me". Making separate private BBW and FA boards is going to do exactly that.
> 
> It doesn't fucking matter if some kid gets coddled and trained on how to be a "proper" FA. He's still going to have to confront the entire BBW populous at some point, and there's NO GUARANTEE that we're all going to like what he has to say all of the time. For fuck's sake.
> 
> You don't put training wheels on someone's bike before sending them down a flaming ramp over a pit of alligators. You either just shove 'em down as is and let them skid along the way or tell them to stay the hell off the ride. Sure you'll have some people crash and burn, but you'll also have some people make it to the other side, and they're going to be better people for it. THOSE are the people I would like to see on here.



This proposed thread has nothing to do with coddling some kid why does that word keep getting thrown around.

I'v posted before about something between me and my girl as a benefit to other fa's only to be met with Eye roll's and the like from some of the bbw's here. you are never going to understand how it feel's to be an fa and to have found great love as an fa, (as i will never understand what is to be a bbw) it is indescribable and there is something more to it. it's not just the physical and the emotional. there is something that i can not find the words for that make loving Fat so much better than anything imagined. and it's not just me finding true love (although it is a large part) but other fa's know what i mean i'v had discussions with them privately. 

at the end of the day it doesn't really matter i just don't understand why your so strongly against it. I assure you the goal is not to talk shit behind your back,


----------



## Fascinita

Haunted said:


> Wimp is kind of a strong word... But in a nut shell i think Donni has it i know As rough and tough as we'd like to think we are, reasurrance that we aren't always Pigs and that liking xyz doesn't mean anything outside of, you like what you like



I'm curious, Haunted, why isn't this reassurance something you might be able to find now on the Weight Board, in the Fat Sexuality forum? That's a speech-protected forum and I, myself, have contributed positive reassurances to your own posts there seeking feedback and grounding--as have others... BBWs and FAs, fat and thin.

If those needs are being covered in forums that already exist, why do we need another forum? I honestly don't know.


----------



## wrestlingguy

Haunted said:


> This proposed thread has nothing to do with coddling some kid why does that word keep getting thrown around.
> 
> I'v posted before about something between me and my girl as a benefit to other fa's only to be met with Eye roll's and the like from some of the bbw's here. you are never going to understand how it feel's to be an fa and to have found great love as an fa, (as i will never understand what is to be a bbw) it is indescribable and there is something more to it. it's not just the physical and the emotional. there is something that i can not find the words for that make loving Fat so much better than anything imagined. and it's not just me finding true love (although it is a large part) but other fa's know what i mean i'v had discussions with them privately.
> 
> at the end of the day it doesn't really matter i just don't understand why your so strongly against it. I assure you the goal is not to talk shit behind your back,



With the exception of one or two topics over the years, if I have something to contribute, I will, even if it gets the eyeroll that you speak of. My theory is if it benefits one person, it could be worth it. You're right, BBW's don't understand the FA experience, but does talking separately increase our chances of understanding each other better?

I guess my question is, why can't FA's just chat amongst themselves in chat, just like the ladies do? You can PM each other, get on Yahoo chat & stuff, and accomplish the same thing, without stigmatizing anyone. That's how I learned here.

In spite of the fact that I don't support the need for this board, I would consider moderating, as I feel it would require a no bullshit type of mod to keep it honest.


----------



## katorade

Haunted said:


> This proposed thread has nothing to do with coddling some kid why does that word keep getting thrown around.
> 
> 
> at the end of the day it doesn't really matter i just don't understand why your so strongly against it. I assure you the goal is not to talk shit behind your back,




It DOES have to do with coddling when part of the reason it was proposed to begin with is that FAs are being "ripped to shreds" by the big mean BBWs.

I never said I felt like there was going to be shit-talking done behind our backs. Please tell me where you got that idea from. My biggest problem is that it's just shuffling from one closet to another and isn't going to actually fix any of the issues it was proposed to fix in the first place.


----------



## katorade

wrestlingguy said:


> In spite of the fact that I don't support the need for this board, I would consider moderating, as I feel it would require a no bullshit type of mod to keep it honest.



I think that if, god forbid, this board actually makes it, there should be at least one female moderator, one that both the men and women of this site would feel comfortable with.


----------



## Donna

katorade said:


> I think that if, god forbid, this board actually makes it, there should be at least one female moderator, one that both the men and women of this site would feel comfortable with.



Why a female mod?


----------



## katorade

Donna said:


> Why a female mod?




Well, given that there would be multiple mods, I believe there should be at least a level-headed female voice to keep it balanced and keep it from becoming the "boys' club" that a lot of women here are worried about. Especially if the board allowed FFAs. Not ALL women here are out to jump on guys like "harpies".


----------



## Santaclear

The main reason I can't support an FA-only board here is it would further marginalize women, something which society has already done enough.



James said:


> We can all agree that squirrels, birds and bears all have a steak in the forest they both live in...even if their habitat spaces within that forest don't always overlap.



I enjoyed this image of squirrels, birds and bears all eating steak in the forest tho. Thanks, James.


----------



## FlyingThePhobia

I voted no because we have a number of boards that are largely targetted towards being an FA and the experiences that come with it. The idea that having an FA only board means that FAs are going to be able to post their feelings without any response which may not be favorable is false. If you post your feelings or views on any board no matter what demographic you are going to find somebody will disagree and challenge you on those views. Dims does have the Weight board with two sub forums which seem to fit the need of some members who want to discuss the more non-mainstream side of being larger. 

In most situations, an FA does not know what it is like to be a bbw/ssbbw/bhm/ssbhm and vice-versa but what is the huge deal of an individual from either group informing the other of what it is like to be themselves? If an FA makes a post which seems to ignore the realities of being a bbw/ssbbw/bhm/ssbhm then what is the huge deal about being informed about the realities of being the size that they are? I think most FAs when posting their views and feelings are given some room to push the envelope but this idea that their views have to be treated delicately like a flower is strange. There are realities that come with being a bbw/ssbbw/bhm/ssbhm and if you are an FA I would assume you would like to be informed about them.

There is a huge difference between a private ssbbw forum and a private FA forum. One is there to help individuals who have private matters that they would like to talk to other individuals who are of a similar background. A private FA board seems to just be one of the Weight Board forums with an attempt on blocking a response which might bring in a different view point or a reality check.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Tooz said:


> Exactly. I will be very angry if a "Let's Coddle FAs" board is born.



I want an equal time coddling board for BBWs....or NO Fa board...period. Kind of simple for me....wait well no actually....I don't think we need either damn board when you get down to it. 



BothGunsBlazing said:


> I'm torn about it. I can understand why some people want to discuss their inner conflict and what not without being "attacked" but yeah, I recall when I first entered this community and how much I was confused about who I was and my preference and being open and honest about myself and true to myself and I was eventually met with what was basically the equivalent of a gigantic slap upside the head.
> 
> I'll always be grateful for that.
> 
> I fear that an FA forum would remove the possibility of others being slapped upside the head in such a way.
> 
> Fact is, this inner conflict? Yeah, not really that big of a deal and I know this first hand and I know how many people feel hurt by this sort of view and I think many fat women/men are frustrated that they're being made to feel like it's so difficult just for some one to be attracted to them and OK with it. Like, is it really so hard that there is a need for a forum just to talk about it?



It wouldn't let me rep you even once for this....though I would come back and do it three times if I could. :bow:




wrestlingguy said:


> I disagree. Keep them in OUR room, and moderate the hell out of 'em until they learn some respect, or throw them out if they can't.



Werd 




ashmamma84 said:


> I don't even know why having men in the SS forum would be up for discussion when so much of the issue around the time it was formed was that smaller and mid sized women would be sitting around gawking at whatever challenges or issues supersized women have. Or at least that's what I gleaned from alot of the responses. If it's private for women who happen to be smaller fatties, it should be that way for men too.
> 
> As for an FA board -- I think that's doing too much. There are some fine FA's on the general forums that are able to show the newer guys the ropes, if they are so inclined.



Yep exactly....it does kind of amaze me to see that men saying they feel "left out" on that board....when others of us with tits, vaginas, fat folds and health/hygiene issues aren't allowed simply because of our weight. 
I meet the criteria for that board more than any guy here and I don't get to go either. 




mergirl said:


> Oh no. It was too much of a frenzy and i missed it. Just read it there. I guess there has to be a cut off point though really.. If you let a couple of guys that you knew were genuinly interested in ssbbw's and what they go through wouldnt you have to just let everyone in..?
> Its a funny one though..where is the cut off point for being a ssbbw at all?
> What about the women who are on the cusp? *What if you are a ssbbw and lose weight do you get thrown out?* (even though your experiences could help others).



Yeah, I wonder how they know who weights what...is there a weigh in meeting like weight watchers? 

Reading some of these closet FA threads....fuck I'm considering Weight Watchers for real now if men like that are my option at this weight. :doh:

I also find it very depressing to see so many of the "good FAs" supporting guys that seek to abuse women. They are abusive......you think that's okay or you don't.



wrestlingguy said:


> *This is precisely the reason that there shouldn't be a private FA board. Can you imagine the dialogue that could potentially occur in a forum like that? Even if moderated, can you see guys potentially finding a "safe haven" to rip women who have no way of 1. finding out about it, and 2. defending themselves.*



yeah some of those posts in some threads read pretty much "Shut the Fuck Up Bitches- the Men are talking now". Let's make it a rule, why don't we.......?



wrestlingguy said:


> As stated previously, I would love to read & participate in discussions on the SSBBW board, but I would gladly give that up to give the ladies there their peace of mind.



This pretty much sums it up for me. They wanted their own forum...cool beans. However, part of me still flinches/feels offended that there is an assumption in some of the bigger ladies that I want to somehow hurt them or do not have problems myself because I simply don't weigh XYZ. I'm still a fat woman....that should count for something amongst other fat women it seems....






Blackjack said:


>



Hmmmmm, this kind of reads like you don't support a FA board now. You quoted me more than once in the other thread to post about how you support it and how posts like mine are a good reason for one. Did you change lanes as well as threads? 



Observer said:


> Continued development of the idea floundered not because of any real resistance but because of unrelated issues regarding mod manpower shortages in other areas. We were (and sremain) stretched very thin, but as seen by the recent additioon of two more boards we are doing what we can.
> 
> My suggestion? Respond to the poll, since its been started, and stay tuned.
> Anyone interested in helping with mod duties in the library please PM me.



I'm still willing to give two nights.....





LoveBHMS said:


> Well, I brought this up last time we had the discussion, and I have to ask if the FA board would include FFAs (either gay or straight) or is it ONLY for hetero male FAs. What about gay male FAs who like BHMs? Would they have a place there? Or would hetero female FAs who like BHMs belong? If neither of those two previous situations are addressed, I would find such a board _really really_ discriminatory and go even further towards divisiveness within Dims.
> 
> 
> I think a seperate FA board is not necessary. The point of Dims is for everyone to communicate and learn from each other. More segregation seems like it would diminish the ultimate goals of this forum.



I agree....I balk at the idea of it being a hetero male only board.....when the term "FA" encompasses so much more. 

One more question: Would an FA board include the many "bi-sizuals" that roam these parts? Or will that general idea that they "are not good enough" that can be detected around here sometimes be the status quo? 




Santaclear said:


> I don't want a separate FA forum. I think it's GOOD that FAs "struggling with their preference" get to see BBWs' reactions to that struggle. I don't think it should happen behind closed doors.



Indeed- I have said this until I'm blue in the face....but I digress so anything I say is just automatically catty, mean and unimportant to some here. 





ashmamma84 said:


> Because just like you -- sometimes smaller and midsized bbws don't want their issues broadcast across the whole of Dims. Is that so bad? No, I don't have access to the SS board, but due to some recent events I have had some health issues that have impacted my daily life and could possibly benefit from having shared my concerns with other bbw women...in a not so "open" forum.
> 
> I think one of the problems is that people think if you aren't over 350lbs, you don't have any issues (physical, emotional/psychological) and that couldn't be further from the truth. Just because *you* might not have had any issues at a lower weight doesn't mean some other women isn't experiencing some trouble. Hey, I can only walk in my shoes so I don't want someone assuming when in fact they have no idea.



Quoted for Truth :bow:




BigBellySSBBW said:


> Conrad, would the FA board be male exclusive then? I find the term FFA only describes straight women who find big men attractive. Therefore I define myself as an FA so I am curious if it would be men only. Thanks.



Not the first time this question has been asked......I asked it myself in the other thread though I didn't specifically address it to Conrad. 



Donna said:


> What about regular and/or semi-regular chats for the FAs and for BBW? Perhaps the Chat Ops can help moderate, along with a recognized discussion leader (or leaders?) to facilitate the chat. Whoever is facilitating the chat simply has to create a private chat room in the chat system and then all those invited to the chat can be given the room name via PM here on the boards.
> 
> This might solve the outstanding question of who would be and wouldn't be given access to the FA (or BBW) forum as the invitations would come from members of the community to other members they know fit the category. The facilitators/organizers would have to keep an eye out for the newbies whom they believe would benefit from the discussion. And if a newbie inadvertently posts something that ruffles feathers, I'm thinking the response could be, "Hey, you really should discuss this with the FAs at the next FA Chat" instead of being "torn to shreds" as BGB puts it.
> 
> Yeah, I know...I'm probably completely off my rocker, but I'm feeling froggy so I thought I would throw the idea out there.



I like this idea.....not sure why it seems to have been ignored :blink:




Zandoz said:


> I can see why some want it but in the end I'd be afraid of it fostering more "us vs them"/"those ___ on the ___ board bla bla bla" kinds of things that already happen way too often.



This reminded me of some of those threads on the main board a while back about how the BHM/FFA board is "separate" from the rest of the forums. It's an open forum....just like most of the other boards. Someone CHOOSING not to leave a board is not the same as someone simply not given access.


----------



## James

Santaclear said:


> The main reason I can't support an FA-only board here is it would further marginalize women, something which society has already done enough.
> 
> 
> 
> I enjoyed this image of squirrels, birds and bears all eating steak in the forest tho. Thanks, James.



If you had squirrels, birds and bears eating _steak _in a forest then there would be something fundamentally unsustainable about that ecosystem... ha

A board is being proposed for both women and men whose common bond is that they are attracted to fat people. I don't understand how the discussion of such commonalities would compromise any other board, nor how it might lead to any gender marginalization?


----------



## elle camino

i'm sitting here trying to think of something that might arise from generally wanting to bone fatties, that would necessitate a private discussion forum on the internet. 
really trying. 

i mean at what point do people stop and think "hey, maybe what sets me apart from the rest of the world is all this setting myself apart from the rest of the world i've been doing"?


not flipping my wig over it, just not seeing the point. james, since you seem to be on the computernet right now and answering queries: what's the kind of thread that would be made in such a subforum, and why isn't it the kind of thread you could just make on any one of the eleven bajillion other forums on this board? honestly just curious.


----------



## exile in thighville

katorade said:


> Well, given that there would be multiple mods, I believe there should be at least a level-headed female voice to keep it balanced and keep it from becoming the "boys' club" that a lot of women here are worried about. Especially if the board allowed FFAs. Not ALL women here are out to jump on guys like "harpies".



this is absurd

also

lock thread


----------



## James

elle camino said:


> i'm sitting here trying to think of something that might arise from generally wanting to bone fatties, that would necessitate a private discussion forum on the internet.
> really trying.
> 
> i mean at what point do people stop and think "hey, maybe what sets me apart from the rest of the world is all this setting myself apart from the rest of the world i've been doing"?
> 
> 
> not flipping my wig over it, just not seeing the point.



no thats cool elle, and I think that its understandable that you wouldn't because, as you say, you don't want to 'bone fatties'. 

If the dozens of PM/e-mail responses to my proposal are anything to go by, then I'd say that there are a lot of men and women who _are _attracted to fat bodies that do feel a strong need for such an area.


----------



## elle camino

James said:


> no thats cool elle, and I think that its understandable that you wouldn't because, as you say, you don't want to 'bone fatties'.



james i don't know if you've ever met me before, but that is pretty much all i want to do. 



and yeah i've never had an ish.

oh well, do what you want. i was just asking, like i said, out of curiosity. and a bit of confusion.


----------



## kayrae

I disagree that this thread should be locked. There have been some rather interesting viewpoints expressed here. And I am confused as to why you'd want that discussion ended.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

elle camino said:


> james i don't know if you've ever met me before, but that is pretty much all i want to do.
> 
> like ever.




Yeah....I'm bi-sizual myself. I cannot fathom "hiding away" any guy I found attractive enough to fuck. I find that kind of behavior deplorable.....and I would be more ashamed of myself for such a thought more than I would of anyone I wanted to bone.


----------



## James

elle camino said:


> james i don't know if you've ever met me before, but that is pretty much all i want to do.
> 
> 
> 
> and yeah i've never had an ish.
> 
> oh well, do what you want. i was just asking, like i said, out of curiosity. and a bit of confusion.



seriously elle? I never knew? My bad.... I would have sent you the proposal to have a look at.


----------



## katorade

exile in thighville said:


> this is absurd
> 
> also
> 
> lock thread



Really? That's the first time I've been called absurd here. How many times has it been for you now? Hmm?

How about just leaving the thread and pretend it doesn't exist and go to a different forum where none of us big scary women can bother you, like, I dunno, a private roooooom.

You're obviously the mental giant around here, why don't you tell me why it's such an absurd idea. Go 'head, I'm all ears.


----------



## elle camino

man i hesitate to even describe myself as bi-sizual. 
i've had a few dalliances here and there in life, but who hasn't. they're the exception that proves the rule, in my case. 
i've only ever dated, and _basically_ only ever been voluntarily naked with, the fattest guy i can get my hands on (who is also rad). shitty thing is i live in slimpickinsville (literally), so the competition is RIDICULOUSLY fierce for guys who are the closest to my type. 

i've been posting here for years and think i've posted on the FFA board maybe once, about music or something. i'm not knocking the idea of defining yourself as an FA, it's just never occurred to me personally. nor have any questions or issues related to who i prefer to date.

edit:


James said:


> seriously elle? I never knew? My bad.... I would have sent you the proposal to have a look at.


no big deal. like i said, it's really not how i define myself, or even part of it. it's just my type - way i see it, everyone has that.


----------



## Blackjack

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Hmmmmm, this kind of reads like you don't support a FA board now. You quoted me more than once in the other thread to post about how you support it and how posts like mine are a good reason for one. Did you change lanes as well as threads?



No, I didn't change my mind; although I do tentatively support an FA board, I'd prefer it to be a public but protected area (like the erotic weight gain board). I said that I could understand why some would want it, not that I'm balls-deep in supporting it.

Posts like yours are, I feel, a good example of why, if it's formed, it should be a protected area. That way, we _can _get input from pretty much anyone, and the kinds of things that would be counterproductive could be kept out.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Blackjack said:


> No, I didn't change my mind; although I do tentatively support an FA board, I'd prefer it to be a public but protected area (like the erotic weight gain board). I said that I could understand why some would want it, not that I'm balls-deep in supporting it.
> 
> Posts like yours are, I feel, a good example of why, if it's formed, it should be a protected area. That way, we _can _get input from pretty much anyone, and the kinds of things that would be counterproductive could be kept out.



Personally, I don't think that my posts are counter-productive. I think they are honest. I also like some bigger men. I'm also a fat woman. 
So anyone that doesn't like the idea of a closet FA is "counter-productive"? To what? 
Asking why abusers should be supported is counter-productive? How so? That's not a legitimate question/concern? Not for YOU maybe but it really is for many other members of this forum.


You also said in the other thread, more than once, that "true closet FAs" should be kicked in the nads. I never said anything like that about them. YOUR posts could be considered more counter productive than mine.....


----------



## James

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Personally, I don't think that my posts are counter-productive. I think they are honest. I also like some bigger men. I'm also a fat woman.
> So anyone that doesn't like the idea of a closet FA is "counter-productive"? To what?
> Asking why abusers should be supported is counter-productive? How so? That's not a legitimate question/concern? Not for YOU maybe but it really is for many other members of this forum.



I'm not a fan of closet FAs either. However, not all closet FAs are abusive and even those that are have the potential to grow and become something better. If you believe that people have no capacity for change then there seems little point (other than catharsis) at venting fury that they are unlikely to ever read anyway. I believe that people do have the capacity to change and that the environment in which ideas are expressed affects this. An environment that offers them an opportunity to discuss (and ultimately overcome) those factors is more condusive to enabling change than an environment that says "man up or go away".

FA/FFA issues are not limited to coming out of the 'closet'. This is the first hurdle but it is not the only challenge. As I stated above, there are a whole range of common issues that FAs and FFAs share a common experience over that they have expressed a desire engage in discussion over. This desire is widespread, committed to paper in the form of a proposal and now Conrad (and the moderators) can decide upon the future of the idea. 

This should not be perceived as an attack on fat people, women, or anyone else... its just a group of people, with common experiences, who would benefit from the mutual discussion and learning that an environment such as an FA/FFA board would foster.


----------



## Haunted

Ultimately it doesn't matter i just don't understand what the big deal is and why some are so strongly against it.

I can go on posting the way things are here, but it would be nice to have an fa board.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

James said:


> I'm not a fan of closet FAs either. However, not all closet FAs are abusive and even those that are have the potential to grow and become something better. If you believe that people have no capacity for change then there seems little point (other than catharsis) at venting fury that they are unlikely to ever read anyway. I believe that people do have the capacity to change and that the environment in which ideas are expressed affects this. An environment that offers them an opportunity to discuss (and ultimately overcome) those factors is more condusive to enabling change than an environment that says "man up or go away".
> 
> FA/FFA issues are not limited to coming out of the 'closet'. This is the first hurdle but it is not the only challenge. As I stated above, there are a whole range of common issues that FAs and FFAs share a common experience over that they have expressed a desire engage in discussion over. This desire is widespread, committed to paper in the form of a proposal and now Conrad (and the moderators) can decide upon the future of the idea.
> 
> This should not be perceived as an attack on fat people, women, or anyone else... its just a group of people, with common experiences, who would benefit from the mutual discussion and learning that an environment such as an FA/FFA board would foster.



James, it was discussed back in the "Closet FA" thread on the main board now, that there is a problem with the definition of closet FA. A person that is first becoming aware of a preference and trying to acquire a sense of self is not the same thing as a person that seeks to purposely deceive, belittle, use another human being (this goes for men and women). 

People with a track record of using and hurting others.....some posts on an internet forum are NOT going to change them. Glad you believe in change.....I tried to change many abusive people in my life time in reality. They don't want to change.....only when they realize that their behaviors are wrong, will they seek to change themselves.

YOU cannot change them James. You can show them another lifestyle perhaps. You can show them how happy YOU are with your own choices. But ultimately....YOU, I OR ANYONE ELSE cannot change another human being. Especially if they feel righteous/dignified with their choices to hurt others for whatever reasons. It takes a LONG TIME for a human being to change....it can take an equally LONG TIME for them to even realize that they should change. But whatever they decide, THEY are in control. YOU have none James. Neither do I. All we have control over is ourselves and what we allow them to do to us. 

Noble idea....but not a realistic one. I know that from personal experience.


----------



## kayrae

I think such defeatist attitude is not conducive to effective change. If you don't think you can help someone, then you won't be able to.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

kayrae said:


> I think such defeatist attitude is not conducive to effective change. If you don't think you can help someone, then you won't be able to.



It's not a defeatist attitude, it is truth. Women cannot change men...it's a problem many women suffer from in their personal relationships...thinking they can change the men in their life that don't want to change. Some men here seem to think the same way. An abuser changes themselves. Bottom line.

There is no "if only I did this and that better" "if only I had explained more"....it doesn't work because YOU did not do anything wrong. It doesn't work because PEOPLE CHANGE THEMSELVES. Not you.

Oh and once again, this question: Why are the not so self confident BBWs being told to "change themselves" but the guys need their hand held? That attitude is quite troublesome.....


----------



## James

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> YOU cannot change them James. You can show them another lifestyle perhaps. You can show them how happy YOU are with your own choices. But ultimately....YOU, I OR ANYONE ELSE cannot change another human being. Especially if they feel righteous/dignified with their choices to hurt others for whatever reasons. It takes a LONG TIME for a human being to change....it can take an equally LONG TIME for them to even realize that they should change. But whatever they decide, THEY are in control. YOU have none James. Neither do I. All we have control over is ourselves and what we allow them to do to us.
> 
> Noble idea....but not a realistic one. I know that from personal experience.



Your experience is as a woman trying to change a man. I think that this is a different thing to an FA/FFA talking to a group of peers and learning more about themselves in the process.

I should iterate for clarity here that the goals of such a board have not been expressed as solely being a 'closet support group', nor is there a goal to reform abusive individuals. I suspect that creating a nascent 'FA/FFA community' might create a hitherto non-existent sense of peerdom amongst this group, which in turn might marginalize abusive behaviors? However, the main message I've received from people is that FA/FFAs just want a place to talk about FA/FFA-specific experiences.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

James said:


> I should iterate for clarity here that the goals of such a board have not been expressed as solely being a 'closet support group', nor is there a goal to reform abusive individuals. I suspect that creating a nascent 'FA/FFA community' might create a hitherto non-existent sense of peerdom amongst this group, which in turn might marginalize abusive behaviors? However, the main message I've received from people is that FA/FFAs just want a place to talk about FA/FFA-specific experiences.




Who is stopping them? The only thing I see anyone getting upset about here is abuse....not insecure people just wanting to chat. 

There is a line between people that seek to "find themselves" and abusers. That line should be made clear to everyone. IT IS NOT OKAY TO ABUSE OTHERS. YOU ARE NOT CHANGING AN ABUSER. YOU SHOULD NOT INVITE ABUSERS INTO YOUR MIDST WITH OPEN ARMS. 

I cannot be any clearer than that....... you think you have enough "love and guiding light" to change people....I KNOW you are wrong. Simple enough and enough said.


I will post no more in this thread since my posts are "counter productive" even though I have not grown violent or abusive with anyone.

Oh and James...what I said about change holds true for EVERYONE. Men cannot change other men either. Women don't change other women. People change when they seek change only. It cannot be forced.


----------



## wrestlingguy

James said:


> Your experience is as a woman trying to change a man. I think that this is a different thing to an FA/FFA talking to a group of peers and learning more about themselves in the process.
> 
> I should iterate for clarity here that the goals of such a board have not been expressed as solely being a 'closet support group', nor is there a goal to reform abusive individuals. I suspect that creating a nascent 'FA/FFA community' might create a hitherto non-existent sense of peerdom amongst this group, which in turn might marginalize abusive behaviors? However, the main message I've received from people is that FA/FFAs just want a place to talk about FA/FFA-specific experiences.



Which is exactly why whoever moderates this group sees to it that it stays within those boundaries.

James, some of the people here are still not quite sure what FA/FFA specific experiences will be discussed. When I made my analogy in an earlier thread about why I would like to see what is being discussed in the SSBBW board, I gave a concrete example of what was important to me. Could you cite examples from personal experience of what would have been important to discuss as a burgeoning FA? 

I truly think you would garner more support from the "outsiders" if you were to give them something they could wrap their hands around.


----------



## elle camino

^i appreciate this smartification of my previous question!^

make with the answerfication plz.


----------



## katorade

elle camino said:


> ^i appreciate this smartification of my previous question!^
> 
> make with the answerfication plz.




Exactly. I can't think of anything SO stressing that it needs to be discussed in private when it comes to FA experiences that DON'T concern "closetism". I simply can't think of one.


----------



## James

wrestlingguy said:


> Which is exactly why whoever moderates this group sees to it that it stays within those boundaries.
> 
> James, some of the people here are still not quite sure what FA/FFA specific experiences will be discussed. When I made my analogy in an earlier thread about why I would like to see what is being discussed in the SSBBW board, I gave a concrete example of what was important to me. Could you cite examples from personal experience of what would have been important to discuss as a burgeoning FA?
> 
> I truly think you would garner more support from the "outsiders" if you were to give them something they could wrap their hands around.



sure ok 

I will preface doing so by saying that people hold a wide range of views on these kinds of issues but would surely benefit from hearing what other FA/FFAs have to say on them... These may or may not seem particularly important to some, but to FA/FFAs that have written me, they seem to resonate....

Closet Issues (how to make the first steps? How to deal with friend & family reactions? sharing experiences and how problems were overcome... etc)

Relationship issues (a whole multitude of FA/FFA-specific stuff would come up here)

FA Pride (role models, examples, building community between FAs)

Dealing with partner weight loss (a complex and potentially thorny issue but one that many have suggested to me would be useful to have FA/FFA-specific input on)

Coming to terms with 'FA Guilt' (this is something that many FAs experience and it manifests itself in many confusing and contradictory ways)

.... and plenty more... this would just be a sample of some of the ideas that people raised with me as being pertinent to an FA/FFA board....

EDIT: From a personal point of view I think I'd get a lot from the creation of some kind of FA 'community'. When asked about being an FA, I always cite the impact that getting to know OTHER FAs personally had on my life and development as a person. I think that interaction with other FAs, was one of the biggest validating factors in my development. So, in my opinion, one of the most limiting factors in FA development generally is the absence of a peer group. Most FAs/FFAs don't have opportunities to build community between eachother, to have a beer down the pub and shoot the shit together, to talk to people around them who 'get' what it means to be them... I think that a forum, such as the one proposed, could have the potential to create the beginnings of such a 'community'... thats my main reason for supporting it and putting the effort in. I genuinely see how it could directly be of benefit to me and to others like me....


----------



## Tooz

katorade said:


> Really? That's the first time I've been called absurd here. How many times has it been for you now? Hmm?
> 
> How about just leaving the thread and pretend it doesn't exist and go to a different forum where none of us big scary women can bother you, like, I dunno, a private roooooom.
> 
> You're obviously the mental giant around here, why don't you tell me why it's such an absurd idea. Go 'head, I'm all ears.



Your posts are of utmost quality.


----------



## elle camino

James said:


> sure ok
> (etc)



i'm setting aside the fact that i've never had any of those issues to a point where i'd need to talk about them, and i'm imagining that i had, and i wanted to discuss it with other ladies who like fat guys.
and i'm thinking i would just post about it on the BHM/FFA board.

just saying.



so i guess my question is why does it have to be private?


----------



## Fascinita

James said:


> sure ok
> 
> I will preface doing so by saying that people hold a wide range of views on these kinds of issues but would surely benefit from hearing what other FA/FFAs have to say on them... These may or may not seem particularly important to some, but to FA/FFAs that have written me, they seem to resonate....
> 
> Closet Issues (how to make the first steps? How to deal with friend & family reactions? sharing experiences and how problems were overcome... etc)
> 
> Relationship issues (a whole multitude of FA/FFA-specific stuff would come up here)
> 
> FA Pride (role models, examples, building community between FAs)
> 
> Dealing with partner weight loss (a complex and potentially thorny issue but one that many have suggested to me would be useful to have FA/FFA-specific input on)
> 
> Coming to terms with 'FA Guilt' (this is something that many FAs experience and it manifests itself in many confusing and contradictory ways)
> 
> .... and plenty more... this would just be a sample of some of the ideas that people raised with me as being pertinent to an FA/FFA board....
> 
> EDIT: From a personal point of view I think I'd get a lot from the creation of some kind of FA 'community'. When asked about being an FA, I always cite the impact that getting to know OTHER FAs personally had on my life and development as a person. I think that interaction with other FAs, was one of the biggest validating factors in my development. So, in my opinion, one of the most limiting factors in FA development generally is the absence of a peer group. Most FAs/FFAs don't have opportunities to build community between eachother, to have a beer down the pub and shoot the shit together, to talk to people around them who 'get' what it means to be them... I think that a forum, such as the one proposed, could have the potential to create the beginnings of such a 'community'... thats my main reason for supporting it and putting the effort in. I genuinely see how it could directly be of benefit to me and to others like me....



James, What are the reasons, in your view, why FAs/FFAs wouldn't want input from non-FAs/FFAs on these issues? If the fact is that they *would* want input, why do we need a separate board for it?

As well, why hasn't the community building that you desire happened yet, given that this is a board made for FAs, as Conrad has stated?

Thanks.


----------



## kayrae

Please don't think I'm discouraging you from voicing your thoughts. I've only been a member of DIMS for 6 months and genuinely want to hear the opposing viewpoints because I haven't heard it all; however, telling someone they cannot effect change is a defeatist attitude. Perhaps the goal isn't to change the unwilling, but to mentor those who are seeking to change.

But I tend to be more optimistic about these things. Perhaps I'm a sucker.




Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I will post no more in this thread since my posts are "counter productive" even though I have not grown violent or abusive with anyone.
> 
> Oh and James...what I said about change holds true for EVERYONE. Men cannot change other men either. Women don't change other women. *People change when they seek change only.* It cannot be forced.


----------



## gangstadawg

seriously whats up with all this trying to add more boards business? dims just got the GLBT board. why are we seperating the DIMs like this? whats next boards catering to specific races on DIMS?


----------



## James

Fascinita said:


> James, What are the reasons, in your view, why FAs/FFAs wouldn't want input from non-FAs/FFAs on these issues? If the fact is that they *would* want input, why do we need a separate board for it?
> 
> Thanks.



Ok, again, my response hopefully represents an aggregate opinion derived from responses to my proposal... others may want to chime in here?

* Many placed a strong emphasis on the need for 'honest' discussion. Many feel that discussion on the main boards often lacks this honesty as there is a tendency to 'front' (I believe this is the correct term?) on the basis that there are people to impress. In addition several have cited that they feel stifled, when it comes to honest expression, for fear of their views being ripped apart or considered invalid by those who seek to compare them to their own problems... i.e. "you are not as big a victim as me therefore your views are invalid" (no-one actually used those words but I think the phrase summarizes the view).

* Certain issues are delicate, potentially politically incorrect or objectifying and 'could' potentially cause offence. Naturally, some topics will be relevant to how FA/FFAs interact with BBWs/BHMs. Whilst inter-group discussion is useful on the main board, some have expressed a desire to be able to actually talk (again... with honest directness) to others who have had experience of being in their shoes... Basically, the bottom line in thinking here is not dissimilar to the thought processes behind the creation of the SSBBW board.

* a general and prevailing opinion that there are certain issues where 'FA/FFAs' can 'only' benefit from the shared experiences of other 'FA/FFAs'.


----------



## exile in thighville

katorade said:


> Really? That's the first time I've been called absurd here. How many times has it been for you now? Hmm?
> 
> How about just leaving the thread and pretend it doesn't exist and go to a different forum where none of us big scary women can bother you, like, I dunno, a private roooooom.
> 
> You're obviously the mental giant around here, why don't you tell me why it's such an absurd idea. Go 'head, I'm all ears.



i do not actually think an fa board would be a good idea - i agree with elle that it's boring - i just see no reason why non-fas have any say in it and what you said is a laughably overextended representation of this fear...onoz a boys' club what will happen in this horrible club FEMALE MODERATOR TO THE RESCUE

i think fas are too bone-fatties-minded to make good use of an fa board but since plenty have spoken up who aren't me you and i might be wrong about this. after all the point isn't really a thing...if you're apprehensive about this board even existing, why read or post there if it exists

also people this isn't even mistakable...i said "this is absurd"...i don't see the word 'you' in there

i know i'm a mean little shit in these dumb argument threads but i only do personal attacks in private ims people won't ever see

or user titles


----------



## Fascinita

James said:


> Ok, again, my response hopefully represents an aggregate opinion derived from responses to my proposal... others may want to chime in here?
> 
> * Many placed a strong emphasis on the need for 'honest' discussion. Many feel that discussion on the main boards often lacks this honesty as there is a tendency to 'front' (I believe this is the correct term?) on the basis that there are people to impress. In addition several have cited that they feel stifled, when it comes to honest expression, for fear of their views being ripped apart or considered invalid by those who seek to compare them to their own problems... i.e. "you are not as big a victim as me therefore your views are invalid" (no-one actually used those words but I think the phrase summarizes the view).



If you felt stifled, wouldn't it make more sense to find ways of re-asserting yourself in dialogue? Going off to a corner where you choose not to engage with your critics seems sort of like admitting defeat. In fact, all that needs to happen is that people actually talk and listen to each other, in order for these problems to go away. It's when people can't handle criticism and choose to "retaliate" with name-calling and accusations that dialogue falls apart. I personally don't believe we're better off acting from what amounts to an admission that we aren't capable of dialogue.



> * Certain issues are delicate, potentially politically incorrect or objectifying and 'could' potentially cause offence. Naturally, some topics will be relevant to how FA/FFAs interact with BBWs/BHMs. Whilst inter-group discussion is useful on the main board, some have expressed a desire to be able to actually talk (again... with honest directness) to others who have had experience of being in their shoes... Basically, the bottom line in thinking here is not dissimilar to the thought processes behind the creation of the SSBBW board.



It's disingenuous to call for special privileges that amount to "we want the proper space to enjoy our objectification of fat people without having to hear their objections to that," just as it's disingenuous to dress issues of being "in the closet" (let's not forget that "the closet" amounts to the idea that it's not OK to associate with fat people) in double-speak by calling it "politically incorrect" (even more so because this use of "politically incorrect" leans on the unpopularity of "political correctness" to present an attitude of "If only the PC brigade would back off and give us back our freedom of speech" -- this is not a problem of speech, but of people taking responsibility for who they are in a community of people.)

It's a shame you choose to compare these "needs" to the needs of SSBBW. The "need" to be at liberty to talk about how uncomfortable one is to be seen with a fat girlfriend does not merit the kind of space that the needs of SSBBW merit, IMO.



> * a general and prevailing opinion that there are certain issues where 'FA/FFAs' can 'only' benefit from the shared experiences of other 'FA/FFAs'.



What are you going to do with FAs/FFAs who are also BBW/BHM? Are they to leave their fat person sides at the door?

It's a bad idea, James, because the *only* motive force in it seems to be the desire to be sheltered from the voices of fat people who might object to more of the same old treatment in here, from the people who supposedly want and admire us, as we see in the outside world. If there's another motivation behind this, I'm failing to understand it.


----------



## BeaBea

FA Board - hmm, I'm pretty much on the fence about whether its needed. I dont classify myself as an FA though so even if I did have an opinion I dont think it would be relevant to any decision anyway. 

In other news:


exile in thighville said:


> my opinion had no effect on the creation of the board where you guys talk about how you wipe your butts



When you express yourself in such a derogatory manner you pretty much ensure that your opinion has no effect on anything. Shame on you.


----------



## exile in thighville

BeaBea said:


> When you express yourself in such a derogatory manner you pretty much ensure that your opinion has no effect on anything. Shame on you.



being crude is not the same as being derogatory but you know, pologies to the offended


----------



## elle camino

Fascinita said:


> the *only* motive force in it seems to be the desire to be sheltered from the voices of fat people who might object to more of the same old treatment in here, from the people who supposedly want and admire us, as we see in the outside world. If there's another motivation behind this, I'm failing to understand it.



i have to more or less concur. 
it's like that old saying i just made up for this post: something about how if it's a joke involving black people that you wouldn't feel comfortable telling a black person...


y'know.


----------



## exile in thighville

something to consider is that further alienating and micromanaging the few sympathetic to the cause only spites everyone

i don't actually think fas are treated like shit around here but they definitely put up with some ridiculous upsets of late

trying to take some of the heat off the good ones by being a dick


----------



## James

Fascinita... that's your perception and of course you are entitled to it. I was asked to respond with the reasons why a board would be seen as favorable to FAs and I attempted to synthesize the views on the subject that I've heard. The views of my previous post do not specifically mirror my own views 100%.

I also think you should know that I have not suggested specifically, in my proposal, or elsewhere that a private board is the way to go. Views on this are split fairly evenly amongst those that I have communicated with. I will respect any ultimate decision on format by conrad and the moderators should they make the board.

By characterising a new board as a 'corner' you are making it sound furtive or sinister. People actually want to express themselves more honestly. Not because they can't handle criticism, but because they want to talk about stuff that pertains to them with people like them without being subjected to attack from people who are not them... and who have not walked a mile in their shoes...

The comparison to the SSBBW board rationale isn't redundant... both groups have specific issues and experiences that they want to discuss within themselves. We are not calling for a space to objectify, although i admit that some objectification could potentially occur in that space... However, such eventualities would certainly be more likely to occur in the other areas of the boards or the internet at large. I think that FAs already have spaces to enjoy objectification here if thats their bag? This isn't what this idea is about... 





Fascinita said:


> If you felt stifled, wouldn't it make more sense to find ways of re-asserting yourself in dialogue? Going off to a corner where you choose not to engage with your critics seems sort of like admitting defeat. In fact, all that needs to happen is that people actually talk and listen to each other, in order for these problems to go away. It's when people can't handle criticism and choose to "retaliate" with name-calling and accusations that dialogue falls apart. I personally don't believe we're better off acting from what amounts to an admission that we aren't capable of dialogue.
> 
> 
> 
> It's disingenuous to call for special privileges that amount to "we want the proper space to enjoy our objectification of fat people without having to hear their objections to that," just as it's disingenuous to dress issues of being "in the closet" (let's not forget that "the closet" amounts to the idea that it's not OK to associate with fat people) in double-speak by calling it "politically incorrect" (even more so because this use of "politically incorrect" leans on the unpopularity of "political correctness" to present an attitude of "If only the PC brigade would back off and give us back our freedom of speech" -- this is not a problem of speech, but of people taking responsibility for who they are in a community of people.)
> 
> It's a shame you choose to compare these "needs" to the needs of SSBBW. The "need" to be at liberty to talk about how uncomfortable one is to be seen with a fat girlfriend does not merit the kind of space that the needs of SSBBW merit, IMO.
> 
> 
> 
> What are you going to do with FAs/FFAs who are also BBW/BHM? Are they to leave their fat person sides at the door?
> 
> It's a bad idea, James, because the *only* motive force in it is the desire to be sheltered from the voices of fat people who might object to more of the same BS in here, from the people who supposedly want and admire us, as we see in the outside world.


----------



## D_A_Bunny

exile in thighville said:


> my opinion had no effect on the creation of the board where you guys talk about how you wipe your butts



Yeah, you know, cause that is all that is discussed.



exile in thighville said:


> being crude is not the same as being derogatory but you know, pologies to the offended



No, seriously dude, it was crude and derogatory.



exile in thighville said:


> trying to take some of the heat off the good ones by being a dick



Wow, you are on fire.:doh:


----------



## exile in thighville

it's not derogatory because i wasn't insulting any of the parties involved in said board

oh noes what if i tell the other fas and we stop being into fat and all go away


----------



## katorade

exile in thighville said:


> i do not actually think an fa board would be a good idea - i agree with elle that it's boring - i just see no reason why non-fas have any say in it and what you said is a laughably overextended representation of this fear...onoz a boys' club what will happen in this horrible club FEMALE MODERATOR TO THE RESCUE
> 
> i think fas are too bone-fatties-minded to make good use of an fa board but since plenty have spoken up who aren't me you and i might be wrong about this. after all the point isn't really a thing...if you're apprehensive about this board even existing, why read or post there if it exists
> 
> also people this isn't even mistakable...i said "this is absurd"...i don't see the word 'you' in there
> 
> i know i'm a mean little shit in these dumb argument threads but i only do personal attacks in private ims people won't ever see
> 
> or user titles



Okay, I don't want the stupid board EITHER, but if it existed, I am not the type of person that's going to think there's a conspiracy going on behind my back. I honestly couldn't give two shits about what would be discussed in there, I just think it's a completely backwards idea and the end result is something I would have to deal with as a member of this board. I suggested a female mod as a good faith measure because there ARE women here that have that fear and it would be a small gesture to appease that and to say that our opinions still have some validity in the male mind.

And please, don't give me that trite apology shit about what you say. You either offend someone or you don't. Calling my ideas absurd is simply just as bad as calling ME absurd. It's my idea, it came out of my brain, I said it. Me. Don't pussyfoot around the issue and try to say that there's any difference at all. Your smart mouth gets you in a hot pan more often than not, the least you can do is stick to your guns and say what you mean. Don't do me or the rest of us any favors.


----------



## katorade

exile in thighville said:


> it's not derogatory because i wasn't insulting any of the parties involved in said board
> 
> oh noes what if i tell the other fas and we stop being into fat and all go away



You just love spinning words, don't you? Don't directly insult someone and you can be as insulting as you'd like? That's not the way it works. You might, I dunno, want to pick up on that sometime soon. Quickly.


----------



## BigCutieSasha

Fascinita said:


> It's a bad idea, James, because the *only* motive force in it seems to be the desire to be sheltered from the voices of fat people who might object to more of the same old treatment in here, from the people who supposedly want and admire us, as we see in the outside world. If there's another motivation behind this, I'm failing to understand it.



They aren't going to be in there shit talking us girls. Which seems to be what some people are thinking. I'm trying to look at it from the point of view that the SSBBWs have the SSBBW issues board to talk about the obvious. SSBBW issues. FA/FFA's have difficulties as well. Maybe not physically but with other issues. What's wrong with them wanting a place to talk about this without jaded women coming in and saying what they are saying and doing is wrong? And, that apparently no one changes. It's these accusations and 
biased comments that will scare away any FA/FFAs looking to feel better about themselves.


----------



## 1300 Class

I can't honestly see the need for one.


----------



## SamanthaNY

katorade said:


> You just love spinning words, don't you? Don't directly insult someone and you can be as insulting as you'd like? That's not the way it works. You might, I dunno, want to pick up on that sometime soon. Quickly.



Oh but it _is _the way it works. He gets away with it quite regularly, doesn't he? 

And that post remains.


----------



## butch

I have to be honest here, and say that if this forum happens, it should be open, and moderated like the XWG board is. If us queers over in our little corner can be open and willing to take on any homophobes, then the (F)FAs should be just as strong. I say this as an FFA myself, remember.

I also notice that in James' answer as to what sorts of things he imagines would be discussed in the new forum, be talks about how most (F)FAs don't have mates to go to the pub with to talk about this. You know, I don't have any fat positive friends in my locale that I can go down to the pub with and have a drink and talk about the reality of life as a fattie, so I have to make due with the relationships I cultivate long distance, via the internet mostly. Is it really assumed that all us fatties have a local group of fatties iz awesome! peers to hang around with? Those of you in MA and CA and Chi town, perhaps, but the rest of the country, not so much. 

And yet, we manage just fine with open forums here at Dims. For thr record, I am not saying I am against the proposed forum, but I'm not hugely pro the forum, either, after all the debates of late, and that probably makes me a hypocrite, but so be it.


----------



## Tooz

butch said:


> You know, I don't have any fat positive friends in my locale that I can go down to the pub with and have a drink and talk about the reality of life as a fattie, so I have to make due with the relationships I cultivate long distance, via the internet mostly.



I agree. I do have friends-- skinny ones. It's really not that bad. It's life, you know? I just don't see how having a private forum for people to whine in is going to solve ANYTHING.


----------



## TraciJo67

I've already expressed my opinion about an FA board. If the powers that be decide that one is called for, my concern about it being a speech-protected (as opposed to private) board is that there will be some very ugly things expressed there ... and some heavy-handed moderation of the people who object to the ugly. 

Yeah, I know .... the old 'don't like, don't look' argument. I suppose we could apply that logic to an expression of bigotry or homophobia, too. Somehow, though, that argument is never applied to this form of hate speech. So why should a woman just stand by, mute, and watch some schmuck openly (and rather ignorantly) objectify her? Where's the difference? I'd really like to know.


----------



## LillyBBBW

exile in thighville said:


> it's not derogatory because i wasn't insulting any of the parties involved in said board
> 
> oh noes what if i tell the other fas and we stop being into fat and all go away



Don't flatter yourself. You're a slave. We know you would have gone away a long time ago to snap panty bands somewhere else. A fear of the loss of FAs is not an ingredient here or this argument wouldn't even occur. I don't agree with the anti forum arguments either but there's no need to get hissy over it and toss out thinly veiled insults. This isn't a male female issue, it's just a difference of opinion among people. Your opinion happens to be winning by a large margin as a matter of fact, you should be pleased.


----------



## mergirl

TraciJo67 said:


> I've already expressed my opinion about an FA board. If the powers that be decide that one is called for, my concern about it being a speech-protected (as opposed to private) board is that there will be some very ugly things expressed there ... and some heavy-handed moderation of the people who object to the ugly.
> 
> Yeah, I know .... the old 'don't like, don't look' argument. I suppose we could apply that logic to an expression of bigotry or homophobia, too. Somehow, though, that argument is never applied to this form of hate speech. So why should a woman just stand by, mute, and watch some schmuck openly (and rather ignorantly) objectify her? Where's the difference? I'd really like to know.


There is no difference. It makes me happy that if anyone is homophobic or objectifies women then we can pounce on them. Hopefully people will either then learn their lesson or fuck off. I can see reasons both for and against both an Private Fa board and private bbw board.. i am totally on the fence about it really..which scares me cause its very not like me!? I would love to think that an Fa board wouldnt become somewhere where horrible things are said though... mind, i cant think of anything that would be discussed there that couldnt be discussed out in the open..


----------



## exile in thighville

LillyBBBW said:


> Don't flatter yourself. You're a slave. We know you would have gone away a long time ago to snap panty bands somewhere else.



i stick up for fas one time = frat dood

i don't actually understand this post that much...it takes more than a lot to gross me out if that's what you're inferring

artfully put though

anyway i said my vote is not in favor of fa board


----------



## BLUEeyedBanshee

Tooz said:


> I agree. I do have friends-- skinny ones. It's really not that bad. It's life, you know? I just don't see how having a private forum for people to whine in is going to solve ANYTHING.



Why do you assume it's whining? I don't understand that assumption. Why can't it be a group of people who have face similar situations discussing them? Why isn't it a group of people (yes it'll be both male and female (F)FA if it happens) that can give advice to one another with struggles? (maybe not physical but struggles nonetheless) 

I don't understand why it's such a difficult thing. If it gets created and if its not something that you have interest in, no reason for you to look at it. If it's created so that its public with the strong no negativity angle, then that's the way it goes. If it's created and it's private, believe me there won't be any women bashing going on, that would not be tolerated, just as bashing of non-clubhouse members isn't allowed in the clubhouse. 

So, what's the big deal? Really?


----------



## exile in thighville

katorade said:


> You just love spinning words, don't you? Don't directly insult someone and you can be as insulting as you'd like? That's not the way it works. You might, I dunno, want to pick up on that sometime soon. Quickly.



i don't, i took your post and disagreed with it and do not know much else about you as a person...weird huh

me and tooz have met and she's pretty cool, not that you could tell from our posts, it's called Disagreeing and doing it Really Hard


----------



## exile in thighville

Tooz said:


> forum for people to whine in



this is what set me off though, the butt-wiping comment was a riposte to whining, not a "thinly veiled" fuck-you to the women of the board because why would i do that


----------



## MisticalMisty

MsSasha said:


> They aren't going to be in there shit talking us girls. Which seems to be what some people are thinking. I'm trying to look at it from the point of view that the SSBBWs have the SSBBW issues board to talk about the obvious. SSBBW issues. FA/FFA's have difficulties as well. Maybe not physically but with other issues. What's wrong with them wanting a place to talk about this without jaded women coming in and saying what they are saying and doing is wrong? And, that apparently no one changes. It's these accusations and
> biased comments that will scare away any FA/FFAs looking to feel better about themselves.



This ^^



BLUEeyedBanshee said:


> Why do you assume it's whining? I don't understand that assumption. Why can't it be a group of people who have face similar situations discussing them? Why isn't it a group of people (yes it'll be both male and female (F)FA if it happens) that can give advice to one another with struggles? (maybe not physical but struggles nonetheless)
> 
> I don't understand why it's such a difficult thing. If it gets created and if its not something that you have interest in, no reason for you to look at it. If it's created so that its public with the strong no negativity angle, then that's the way it goes. If it's created and it's private, believe me there won't be any women bashing going on, that would not be tolerated, just as bashing of non-clubhouse members isn't allowed in the clubhouse.
> 
> So, what's the big deal? Really?



And this..

Honestly, making the assumption that the men are going to run amuck objectifying, talking shit, etc makes us fat girls sound really, really bitter.

On a side note, I take offense to the people who say the Weight board is for the FAs. Number 1, I love the weight board and participate there on a regular basis. Secondly, not all FAs are into the weight gain aspect of being with a fat girl. Finally, even though the weight board is supposed to be for people to have a "safe" place to openly discuss their fantasies, etc...there are still those that run in and rain on the parade.

My other question..why didn't someone broach the subject of a bbw board before this conversation came up?


----------



## mergirl

Now, if this IS made..can we say stuff like "So and So has got such great moobs" or "i love the way the light glimmers on such n suchs' bellies" and it will only be Fa's that can see?? See i think this is great. Though, its also great if those we objectify can join in! lol.
I really dont think it would be a place of objectification though..I dont know exactly what it would be a place of though...I do think there would be a lot less jumping on people when in the process of 'comming out' and maby there would be more exploration of different fantasies and ideas without fear of being jumped on or censored.. though i think sometimes people questioning your ideas can be a good thing..
hmm i just dont know..


----------



## bexy

*** not explaining myself properly so it doesn't matter lol***


----------



## mergirl

bexy said:


> *** not explaining myself properly so it doesn't matter lol***


Explain yourself gaddam you woman!! Or die trying!!!! lol


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

mergirl said:


> Now, if this IS made..can we say stuff like "So and So has got such great moobs" or "i love the way the light glimmers on such n suchs' bellies" and it will only be Fa's that can see?? See i think this is great. Though, its also great if those we objectify can join in! lol.
> I really dont think it would be a place of objectification though..I dont know exactly what it would be a place of though...I do think there would be a lot less jumping on people when in the process of 'comming out' and maby there would be more exploration of different fantasies and ideas without fear of being jumped on or censored.. though i think sometimes people questioning your ideas can be a good thing..
> hmm i just dont know..



I would sincerely hope that this sort of behavior would not be tolerated, anymore than it is anywhere else on Dimensions. Objectification like this, and worse, the "10 ten BBWs" type crap, should not, and I would assume will not, be allowed.

Mike


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

fatchicksrockuk said:


> I would sincerely hope that this sort of behavior would not be tolerated, anymore than it is anywhere else on Dimensions. Objectification like this, and worse, the "10 ten BBWs" type crap, should not, and I would assume will not, be allowed.
> 
> Mike



You mean TOP 10? Not 10 Ten I'm sure...as that makes no sense


----------



## largenlovely

you seem to have so many thinly veiled "fuck you's" it's kind of hard to tell.

Also, you have no place even talking about something like that in the manner in which you did, especially when it hasn't even been brought up in this thread and that particular specific subject has nothing to do with this thread at all. It was offensive (as are the large majority of your posts) and furthermore, you should be ashamed of yourself for making light of an issue that is a serious and embarrasing problem for a lot of the larger women. 

edit/add: Why would you do that? It seems that you like to brag about being banned from places, perhaps you're trying to add another to the list. It certainly wouldn't hurt my feelings if you left with the type of attitude i've seen from your posts 



exile in thighville said:


> the butt-wiping comment was a riposte to whining, not a "thinly veiled" fuck-you to the women of the board because why would i do that


----------



## mergirl

fatchicksrockuk said:


> I would sincerely hope that this sort of behavior would not be tolerated, anymore than it is anywhere else on Dimensions. Objectification like this, and worse, the "10 ten BBWs" type crap, should not, and I would assume will not, be allowed.
> 
> Mike


Seriously? You really mean this?
What is the point of a site for Fa's and fat people where you are not allowed to say what you love physically about fat people?? idongettit!? is this not a good thing for us all.


----------



## BeaBea

exile in thighville said:


> it's not derogatory because i wasn't insulting any of the parties involved in said board



It was derogatory. When you suggest that I have nothing to talk about other than how to wipe my butt it's hard not to be insulted.



exile in thighville said:


> oh noes what if i tell the other fas and we stop being into fat and all go away



You going away = fine by me.
Any FA that wants to listen to you and go away = also fine by me.

Tracey


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

mergirl said:


> Seriously? You really mean this?
> What is the point of a site for Fa's and fat people where you are not allowed to say what you love physically about fat people?? idongettit!? is this not a good thing for us all.




He's not saying that Mer....he's saying objectification would not be allowed. Objectification is NOT the same as admiration...which is what you are talking about.


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

mergirl said:


> Seriously? You really mean this?
> What is the point of a site for Fa's and fat people where you are not allowed to say what you love physically about fat people?? idongettit!? is this not a good thing for us all.



What I object to is the objectification of specific people. That's all. Feel free to talk about the sort of bellies you like, whatever. 

But it's a very small step from "I love so-and-so's belly" to "I don't like whatshis/herface's ass". Even "I love so-and-so's belly" can hurt people.


----------



## Donna

exile in thighville said:


> this is what set me off though, the butt-wiping comment was a riposte to whining, not a "thinly veiled" fuck-you to the women of the board because why would i do that



Why? Probably because you are, as Ernest Nagel so astutely pointed out not too long ago in Hyde Park, an "insensitive asshat." "Riposte to whining" my ass...your comment was yet another of your not so thinly veiled fuck-yous. That's your style, dude. Own it. And your 'pologies' mean squat in my opinion, because again, that's not your style. 

As BeaBea said so well, shame on you.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

fatchicksrockuk said:


> Even "I love so-and-so's belly" can hurt people.




I disagree. It's when it becomes so and so's belly is better/sexier/cuter than so and so's...it's when the comparing of individuals start that we get into trouble.

I would also hope than an FA board would keep the threads like "too fat" under control.


----------



## Wild Zero

I find a hidden or protected FA Board redundant when there's already the protected Weight Board. Wouldn't the Fat Sexuality subforum be the perfect place to deal with FA issues? And if posts do go into attack mode or whatever:

1. Stand your ground
2. Make use of the report function


----------



## mergirl

fatchicksrockuk said:


> What I object to is the objectification of specific people. That's all. Feel free to talk about the sort of bellies you like, whatever.
> 
> But it's a very small step from "I love so-and-so's belly" to "I don't like whatshis/herface's ass". Even "I love so-and-so's belly" can hurt people.


Oh!! i really dont think it should mean anything derogitory! I just mean objectification in the sense that its not really someones personality being discussed. They are not being talked about holistically and i dont see what wrong with that..
Also D i utterly agree that saying someone is 'too big' is just totally shit! There is no way that should be allowed anywhere near anywhere that resembles a size acceptance site.. actually it shouldnt be allowed near anywhere!


----------



## LillyBBBW

exile in thighville said:


> i stick up for fas one time = frat dood
> 
> i don't actually understand this post that much...it takes more than a lot to gross me out if that's what you're inferring
> 
> artfully put though
> 
> anyway i said my vote is not in favor of fa board



I was refering to your ability to make these snappy posts to get everyone all riled up. I don't peg you for a stupid guy so I figure you know that your posts are inflammatory and that you make them that way deliberately to get a rise out of people. If you could really stop being an FA,leave and make other FAs leave too I would suppose wherever you go you would do the same as you do here because it is part of your personality. But I don't truly believe you could stop being FA and spread it around to others.


----------



## Santaclear

James said:


> A board is being proposed for both women and men whose common bond is that they are attracted to fat people. I don't understand how the discussion of such commonalities would compromise any other board, nor how it might lead to any gender marginalization?



I think a separate board will lead to a further "us" vs. "them" mentality.

I think it's GOOD that FAs and BBWs mix it up here on the boards. The presence of the BBWs here to NOT coddle some of the FA ramblings is an excellent reality check for all. In addition I think it puts BBWs more in touch with FAs' thoughts, giving them more information to go on, something which a separate (or even just protected) board would take away from them.


----------



## mergirl

Santaclear said:


> I think a separate board will lead to a further "us" vs. "them" mentality.
> 
> I think it's GOOD that FAs and BBWs mix it up here on the boards. The presence of the BBWs here to NOT coddle some of the FA ramblings is an excellent reality check for all. In addition I think it puts BBWs more in touch with FAs' thoughts, giving them more information to go on, something which a separate (or even just protected) board would take away from them.


I really think this is the way i'm swaying too.


----------



## James

Santaclear said:


> I think a separate board will lead to a further "us" vs. "them" mentality.
> 
> I think it's GOOD that FAs and BBWs mix it up here on the boards. The presence of the BBWs here to NOT coddle some of the FA ramblings is an excellent reality check for all. In addition I think it puts BBWs more in touch with FAs' thoughts, giving them more information to go on, something which a separate (or even just protected) board would take away from them.



I understand the logic of your concern but I also see it as misdirected. 

There is no 'us' at the moment. There is no 'community' for (F)FAs, or sense of kinship between us on any kind of wider scale. I think that the coming together of an 'us' would be a beneficial thing. If there is an 'us' vs 'them' mentality that you think will be furthered by an (F)FA board then this can only currently mean BBWs vs 'abusive' FAs. No-one is suggesting that assholes should get a free pass, anywhere on the boards, but I think that most can agree that a) there are young, closeted FAs who might benefit from direction and formative help of a peer group... and b) that there are issues that are (F)FA specific.... (even if one doesn't believe that this is the case, one can at least see that many others do). 

The flaw in the thinking amongst some, (from my perspective) seems to be the idea that the boards are competing against one another for some kind of limited resource of user interaction. I would suggest that more discussion is fostered by the addition of boards that focus on key groups, not less, and that as long as boards like the main board, or the lounge etc. remain then nothing is being lost to anyone... 

In fact, if the (F)FA board were a success and were actually able to provide any kind of 'closet (F)FA' assistance then its quite likely that a large number of, presently lurking, (F)FAs would come out of the woodwork and make their first steps there before getting involved in the community in a broader sense.


----------



## mergirl

missaf said:


> Keep in mind this board would have a narrow focus, on issues pertaining to FAs and their viewpoints and how to deal with their preferences. It would not become another conversation board. Threads regarding to anything but those will be moved out or closed. I'm struggling to see what the forest through the trees here, maybe, but why should the people who find us beautiful and sexy not have a place to learn their history, learn from past experiences of others, and ask serious questions all under one roof?


What would these questions be though? I cant actually think of one.
Learning about Fa' history- Why cant everyone be in on that?
Past experiences even if they are about being closeted are in the past- i cant see why anyone would get upset about anyone discussing this kind of thing.
I honestly cant think of any serious questions i would like to ask another Fa that i think that any Fat people would take offence to and to be honest if Fat people were to take offence the chances are i would too.
The only reason i can see would be a place where 'closet Fa's' can talk about being in the closet- The problem with this is that a lot of Fa's have the same attitude towards closeted Fa's as fat people do and dont actually have patience or time to discuss 'being in the closet'. The ONLY reason i can see for having a private board for this kinna chat would be so that fat people dont have to read about it, as its pretty boring and offensive.


----------



## mergirl

James said:


> b) that there are issues that are (F)FA specific.... (even if one doesn't believe that this is the case, one can at least see that many others do).



See, i really cant think of one Fa specific issue that would have to be discussed on a private board.. What issues? Even one?


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

mergirl said:


> What would these questions be though? I cant actually think of one.
> Learning about Fa' history- Why cant everyone be in on that?
> Past experiences even if they are about being closeted are in the past- i cant see why anyone would get upset about anyone discussing this kind of thing.
> I honestly cant think of any serious questions i would like to ask another Fa that i think that any Fat people would take offence to and to be honest if Fat people were to take offence the chances are i would too.
> The only reason i can see would be a place where 'closet Fa's' can talk about being in the closet- The problem with this is that a lot of Fa's have the same attitude towards closeted Fa's as fat people do and dont actually have patience or time to discuss 'being in the closet'. The ONLY reason i can see for having a private board for this kinna chat would be so that fat people dont have to read about it, as its pretty boring and offensive.



but you are assuming that all FAs are thin.

I think the board for FAs is a good idea.

I think the arguing and the mean posts don't get us anywhere. 

This is Conrads house and if he wants an FA board he will make one and you can't do anything about it. Also if he doesn't want one, he won't make one and there isn't anything you can do about it.


----------



## mergirl

BigBellySSBBW said:


> but you are assuming that all FAs are thin.
> 
> I think the board for FAs is a good idea.
> 
> I think the arguing and the mean posts don't get us anywhere.
> 
> This is Conrads house and if he wants an FA board he will make one and you can't do anything about it. Also if he doesn't want one, he won't make one and there isn't anything you can do about it.


Dondra, stop following me about and disagreeing with me!!  lmao
I dont assume all Fa's are thin but i do assume all Fa's like fat people.
I dont think i was being mean and i also think that hashing out ideas is productive..like an argument only better..
I am neither for or against an Fa board. Personally i couldnt care less. Though if its going to help people in some way its a good idea.. i'm trying to understand in what ways it would help Fa's or the community..
and yes.i agree...if conrad wants a 'pink hippos mating with zebras' forum he can and will make it..there is nothing i can do either way.. agreed.. Though i do have the right..hopefully to ask what would be gained by having this forum.?!


----------



## largenlovely

That's pretty much how i feel about it. 

Though i'd like to add, if he leaves and has any influence over some others to make them leave as well.... good riddance to all of them then. Who needs that kinda crap.



LillyBBBW said:


> I don't peg you for a stupid guy so I figure you know that your posts are inflammatory and that you make them that way deliberately to get a rise out of people. If you could really stop being an FA,leave and make other FAs leave too


----------



## Dr. P Marshall

Ive seen a lot of arguments for and against an FA/FFA board that make sense. What I keep noticing, however, is that they are often arguments for or against a board that bears little resemblance to the board that is actually being proposed. First of all, the board up for consideration is an FA/FFA board. In fact, in the entire proposal the term FA board is never used. It is FA/FFA board every time. Secondly, this proposal is resonating with FFAs as well as FAs. In some cases the positive responses were very strong. Some of the stronger responses came from FFAs who are among the more thoughtful and introspective. I dont think that we are all signing up to participate in a board full of closet case hand holding and misogyny. That really isnt how the FFAs tend to operate. 

Since I am one of the supporters of the proposal, I thought perhaps I should state the reasons I personally have always wanted an FA/FFA board. I am speaking only for myself here, but these are the reasons that I think it would be of value. I am not happy about doing this because 1) it involves a time in my life where I had feelings I really dont like to revisit, and 2) my story involves other people (one in particular) and I never wanted it to appear that I just willy nilly air personal business. But at this point, I am seeing so much misunderstanding, that I figure Ill throw it out there and hopefully those close to me will understand.

At this point in my life, I probably dont NEED this type of board. But the Dr. P of a year through a year and a half ago, definitely did. And it wasnt here. I have wrestled long and hard with guilt. Granted, I am the worst of the worst, the monster of monsters, the triple threat- fat admirer with feederism tendencies and a weight gain fetishist. And before anyone accuses me of trying to assuage my guilt about actions I take, lets be clear, I have developed my own boundaries and I personally would not enter into a feeder relationship. Because I personally know where I trust myself and where I dont. I am judging only myself here, but this is not some justification for doing things. I have my boundaries. But I had to find them, and that wasnt easy. I made the decision to explore this issue without being in a feeder/feedee relationship. So I am also not retroactively justifying anything. Just to be perfectly clear. I realize not all FA/FFA s are fetishists, but I always thought a board full of FA/FFAs would make it easier to find at least a few. I know there is a weight board, but my issues werent really going to be supported in an environment like that. I didnt want to talk about what was hot and I would probably as a fetishist have been moderated for being negative or at the least a buzz kill.

I have never been in the closet as an FFA. I dated BHM even before I got it. But once I was ready to deal with the fetishist issues, especially the weight gain fetish, things got ugly inside my head very fast. I went into a sort of free fall. At the time my experience on the boards in general was limited. I had lurked in the library, and the weight board and had seen the conflicts that led to the division of the weight board. All of that made me think that I would either be viewed as a monster by the other members or that my fellow fetishists wouldnt appreciate me expressing any guilt or doubt publicly. In other words, I felt that even here, there wasnt truly a place for me to deal with my personal issues publicly. I know we all have to walk our own path, but the overwhelming confusion was such that I felt I needed something to anchor me. I have always felt an FA/FFA board didnt need to be private, but I did want it protected because I know that at my lowest point had even one person casually thrown out yeah, that IS messed up it would have been too much for me. Maybe thats whiny, but it is the truth. It would have been the end of me at Dims, the end of me living my life fully as an FFA and possibly worse. There isnt a list of FFA/FA friendly psychologists, so I imagine I would have spent a long, painful and futile time having someone try to cure me. 

Now what did save me at the time was the support of two people, a very close BHM friend of mine here and a friend of mine in real life. The BHM in particular went well above and beyond. The problem is, neither of them are FAs. So, basically in the case of the BHM, it led to me unfairly discussing things that created confusion and in some instances pain on one or both sides. I think had there been a central location of FAs and FFAs talking about these issues, I would have made better decisions about what to talk about to whom. Dont get me wrong, that friendship is unbelievably important to me, but I would have preferred to have not dragged him into my issues as an FFA. I think it was unfair, and I wish it hadnt happened that way. At the time, however, I didnt even really understand that that was what I was doing. So for me, this board is not only for FA/FFAs who find themselves where I was at the time, but also for any BHM/BBW friends, (or God help them) lovers or spouses who may find themselves in the situation my friend was in at the time. There are some things F/FAs should turn to each other for, in my opinion. I dont mean that BBW and BHM arent helpful, I just stated the person who got me through it all was a BHM, but I think it would be better for some of the deeper darker issues for FAs to turn to other FAs. (male and female). Also, the one thing that my two friends couldnt help me with was the one thing at the time I most wanted to hear. Basically I understand, Ive been there myself, you can and will get through it, you can learn to strike a balance and set boundaries and you can live a full life. Because, see, at the time, I had been becoming convinced that I DESERVED to die alone because of what was going through my head. I really felt I was a menace to anyone I would ever find attractive, and that I was such a freak, I was a constant outsider in the real world. Later, after I had worked my way through all of this, I learned that some of the FAs and FFAs on the board who I liked shared some or all of my fetishes. But I didnt know it at the time, because I didnt read every thread everywhere that would have told me that. That is why I thought a centralized location to discuss issues like guilt and relationship issues and seeing other F/FAs as role models would help. Yes, there is a BHM/FFA board, but I think a lot of the time because of sensitivity to the very issues Ive just described, we only touch the surface of things. It IS wonderful to have a BBW or BHM tell you F/FAs are great and they like you and see you as a part of the community. It always touches me when I see that and I am personally prone to repping such posts. But often those people dont understand WHY you feel so much guilt or so monstrous. Sometimes it was difficult for me to articulate it to myself. It would be nice to have a place where a lot of people understand the nature of the guilt and can discuss the issues of coping with it, who understand those of us who have to work to constantly keep things in balance between our sexual drives and turn ons, and our care and concern for the people close to us. Yes, were not all the same, but I think in many cases the issues feel the same. And sometimes when really getting to the heart of the matter of an issue like guilt, some of the reasons are going to be the type of things that BBW and BHM who arent themselves fat admirers might not understand or at the very least, might not want to hear. F/FAs grew up in the same fat phobic society. Even if we dont buy it all, we may still at times wonder or at the very least want to figure out how to deal with the guilt that remains anyway no matter what you may personally believe. For example, knowing that your family and friends think you dont care about your partners health and well being because you prefer that he or she is fat. Issues like that. Nothing sinister, just things that probably dont need to be hashed out to the community as a whole. Or that may cause some members to jump in and say but fat does not equal unhealthy. A valid point, but not the issue the F/FFA is struggling with. It is the perceptions or the doubts. That is the difference. And I think F/FAs including the fat ones would understand right away what the person was actually dealing with.

Now, I am sure I will be painted as a (possibly) good hearted but naïve dupe or at worst, some sort of F/FA apologist. Fine. Maybe I am hoping for too much or asking for too much from the fat admirers of the board. But I am pretty confident that even if my vision of a fat admirer board is incorrect, if it did devolve into something else, Im pretty sure it would be shut down in a heartbeat. The moderator team includes men and women F/FA and non. There are several viewpoints looking at this decision and should the board happen, watching over it. 

That is all I am going to say publicly about my reasons for wanting this board. That is the last thing I am ever going to say publicly about wanting this board.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

mergirl said:


> Dondra, stop following me about and disagreeing with me!!  lmao
> I dont assume all Fa's are thin but i do assume all Fa's like fat people.
> I dont think i was being mean and i also think that hashing out ideas is productive..like an argument only better..
> I am neither for or against an Fa board. Personally i couldnt care less. Though if its going to help people in some way its a good idea.. i'm trying to understand in what ways it would help Fa's or the community..
> and yes.i agree...if conrad wants a 'pink hippos mating with zebras' forum he can and will make it..there is nothing i can do either way.. agreed.. Though i do have the right..hopefully to ask what would be gained by having this forum.?!




I can't help it!!! you are EVERYWHERE, lol.

I wasn't calling YOU mean silly.....there have been some pretty mean hearted posts in this thread in general....I only quoted you about the FA peeps, lol. My bad.

Now there's a forum I can get behind. PINK HIPPOS!!!!!

You do have the right to ask....and I think James has given ideas about what would be discussed but I think without a crystal ball he won't know for sure what would be discussed.


----------



## mergirl

BigBellySSBBW said:


> I can't help it!!! you are EVERYWHERE, lol.
> 
> I wasn't calling YOU mean silly.....there have been some pretty mean hearted posts in this thread in general....I only quoted you about the FA peeps, lol. My bad.
> 
> Now there's a forum I can get behind. PINK HIPPOS!!!!!
> 
> You do have the right to ask....and I think James has given ideas about what would be discussed but I think without a crystal ball he won't know for sure what would be discussed.


ok, at least we are agreed..there SHOULD be a 'pink hippo' forum.. i think perhaps they may be mythological or something that only happens to drunk people BUT they sound TOTALLY cute!


----------



## mergirl

OK Dr P. You swayed me.
Hopefully, i will read more of your interesting posts on an (f)fa board.
xmer
p.s When i ask questions its not because i am against something, its because i want to learn more about it..
p.p.That p.s wasnt to anyone specifically
p.p.p.s. why am i ps'ing? this isnt a letter.


----------



## BLUEeyedBanshee

mergirl said:


> ok, at least we are agreed..there SHOULD be a 'pink hippo' forum.. i think perhaps they may be mythological or something that only happens to drunk people BUT they sound TOTALLY cute!



Hippos of any color frighten me. I have had nightmares about hippos. I'm glad you two can agree but me, I'm going to stay far far away from that one if it gets created. But, wait, maybe I won't be able to stay away from it. Maybe I'll just have to see what you pink hippo fans are talking about because you just may be plotting my demise!!! 






I wish I was joking about being afraid of hippos but alas I am not.


----------



## mossystate

I am bi-sizeual, so that makes me an fa. I think this means I should be let in. Come on, be a pal. What about the bi-sizuals amongst us. I will be a good girl and not give a shit about bbw getting a safe haven, a sacred place...if my bi-sizuality fa'ism is given a nod....* looks up with pussNboots eyes *


----------



## BLUEeyedBanshee

Sure why wouldn't one who is bi-sizual not be a fa. They at some point admire those who are fat right?


----------



## mergirl

BLUEeyedBanshee said:


> Hippos of any color frighten me. I have had nightmares about hippos. I'm glad you two can agree but me, I'm going to stay far far away from that one if it gets created. But, wait, maybe I won't be able to stay away from it. Maybe I'll just have to see what you pink hippo fans are talking about because you just may be plotting my demise!!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I wish I was joking about being afraid of hippos but alas I am not.


Muwahahaha..we totally will be as well.. best to keep your friends close and your pink hippo lovers even closer!!


----------



## mergirl

mergirl said:


> Muwahahaha..we totally will be as well.. best to keep your friends close and your pink hippo lovers even closer!!


oh sorry.. i just saw the faint 'i actually am scared of hippos' bit!! 
sorry.. hugs xx


----------



## mergirl

mossystate said:


> I am bi-sizeual, so that makes me an fa. I think this means I should be let in. Come on, be a pal. What about the bi-sizuals amongst us. I will be a good girl and not give a shit about bbw getting a safe haven, a sacred place...if my bi-sizuality fa'ism is given a nod....* looks up with pussNboots eyes *


Totally..You should be allowed!! Also if there is a bbw forum at 5ft 6 and about 14 stone i am actually classed as obese..SO i should be allowed in.
See, now, if everyone just got a bit fatter and a bit more open to banging people of all sizes there would be no need for this discussion at all!


----------



## James

Dr P... thank you for articulating this all so well... and for all your support, encouragement and input into the proposal too! 



Dr. P Marshall said:


> Ive seen a lot of arguments for and against an FA/FFA board that make sense. What I keep noticing, however, is that they are often arguments for or against a board that bears little resemblance to the board that is actually being proposed. First of all, the board up for consideration is an FA/FFA board. In fact, in the entire proposal the term FA board is never used. It is FA/FFA board every time. Secondly, this proposal is resonating with FFAs as well as FAs. In some cases the positive responses were very strong. Some of the stronger responses came from FFAs who are among the more thoughtful and introspective. I dont think that we are all signing up to participate in a board full of closet case hand holding and misogyny. That really isnt how the FFAs tend to operate.
> 
> Since I am one of the supporters of the proposal, I thought perhaps I should state the reasons I personally have always wanted an FA/FFA board. I am speaking only for myself here, but these are the reasons that I think it would be of value. I am not happy about doing this because 1) it involves a time in my life where I had feelings I really dont like to revisit, and 2) my story involves other people (one in particular) and I never wanted it to appear that I just willy nilly air personal business. But at this point, I am seeing so much misunderstanding, that I figure Ill throw it out there and hopefully those close to me will understand.
> 
> At this point in my life, I probably dont NEED this type of board. But the Dr. P of a year through a year and a half ago, definitely did. And it wasnt here. I have wrestled long and hard with guilt. Granted, I am the worst of the worst, the monster of monsters, the triple threat- fat admirer with feederism tendencies and a weight gain fetishist. And before anyone accuses me of trying to assuage my guilt about actions I take, lets be clear, I have developed my own boundaries and I personally would not enter into a feeder relationship. Because I personally know where I trust myself and where I dont. I am judging only myself here, but this is not some justification for doing things. I have my boundaries. But I had to find them, and that wasnt easy. I made the decision to explore this issue without being in a feeder/feedee relationship. So I am also not retroactively justifying anything. Just to be perfectly clear. I realize not all FA/FFA s are fetishists, but I always thought a board full of FA/FFAs would make it easier to find at least a few. I know there is a weight board, but my issues werent really going to be supported in an environment like that. I didnt want to talk about what was hot and I would probably as a fetishist have been moderated for being negative or at the least a buzz kill.
> 
> I have never been in the closet as an FFA. I dated BHM even before I got it. But once I was ready to deal with the fetishist issues, especially the weight gain fetish, things got ugly inside my head very fast. I went into a sort of free fall. At the time my experience on the boards in general was limited. I had lurked in the library, and the weight board and had seen the conflicts that led to the division of the weight board. All of that made me think that I would either be viewed as a monster by the other members or that my fellow fetishists wouldnt appreciate me expressing any guilt or doubt publicly. In other words, I felt that even here, there wasnt truly a place for me to deal with my personal issues publicly. I know we all have to walk our own path, but the overwhelming confusion was such that I felt I needed something to anchor me. I have always felt an FA/FFA board didnt need to be private, but I did want it protected because I know that at my lowest point had even one person casually thrown out yeah, that IS messed up it would have been too much for me. Maybe thats whiny, but it is the truth. It would have been the end of me at Dims, the end of me living my life fully as an FFA and possibly worse. There isnt a list of FFA/FA friendly psychologists, so I imagine I would have spent a long, painful and futile time having someone try to cure me.
> 
> Now what did save me at the time was the support of two people, a very close BHM friend of mine here and a friend of mine in real life. The BHM in particular went well above and beyond. The problem is, neither of them are FAs. So, basically in the case of the BHM, it led to me unfairly discussing things that created confusion and in some instances pain on one or both sides. I think had there been a central location of FAs and FFAs talking about these issues, I would have made better decisions about what to talk about to whom. Dont get me wrong, that friendship is unbelievably important to me, but I would have preferred to have not dragged him into my issues as an FFA. I think it was unfair, and I wish it hadnt happened that way. At the time, however, I didnt even really understand that that was what I was doing. So for me, this board is not only for FA/FFAs who find themselves where I was at the time, but also for any BHM/BBW friends, (or God help them) lovers or spouses who may find themselves in the situation my friend was in at the time. There are some things F/FAs should turn to each other for, in my opinion. I dont mean that BBW and BHM arent helpful, I just stated the person who got me through it all was a BHM, but I think it would be better for some of the deeper darker issues for FAs to turn to other FAs. (male and female). Also, the one thing that my two friends couldnt help me with was the one thing at the time I most wanted to hear. Basically I understand, Ive been there myself, you can and will get through it, you can learn to strike a balance and set boundaries and you can live a full life. Because, see, at the time, I had been becoming convinced that I DESERVED to die alone because of what was going through my head. I really felt I was a menace to anyone I would ever find attractive, and that I was such a freak, I was a constant outsider in the real world. Later, after I had worked my way through all of this, I learned that some of the FAs and FFAs on the board who I liked shared some or all of my fetishes. But I didnt know it at the time, because I didnt read every thread everywhere that would have told me that. That is why I thought a centralized location to discuss issues like guilt and relationship issues and seeing other F/FAs as role models would help. Yes, there is a BHM/FFA board, but I think a lot of the time because of sensitivity to the very issues Ive just described, we only touch the surface of things. It IS wonderful to have a BBW or BHM tell you F/FAs are great and they like you and see you as a part of the community. It always touches me when I see that and I am personally prone to repping such posts. But often those people dont understand WHY you feel so much guilt or so monstrous. Sometimes it was difficult for me to articulate it to myself. It would be nice to have a place where a lot of people understand the nature of the guilt and can discuss the issues of coping with it, who understand those of us who have to work to constantly keep things in balance between our sexual drives and turn ons, and our care and concern for the people close to us. Yes, were not all the same, but I think in many cases the issues feel the same. And sometimes when really getting to the heart of the matter of an issue like guilt, some of the reasons are going to be the type of things that BBW and BHM who arent themselves fat admirers might not understand or at the very least, might not want to hear. F/FAs grew up in the same fat phobic society. Even if we dont buy it all, we may still at times wonder or at the very least want to figure out how to deal with the guilt that remains anyway no matter what you may personally believe. For example, knowing that your family and friends think you dont care about your partners health and well being because you prefer that he or she is fat. Issues like that. Nothing sinister, just things that probably dont need to be hashed out to the community as a whole. Or that may cause some members to jump in and say but fat does not equal unhealthy. A valid point, but not the issue the F/FFA is struggling with. It is the perceptions or the doubts. That is the difference. And I think F/FAs including the fat ones would understand right away what the person was actually dealing with.
> 
> Now, I am sure I will be painted as a (possibly) good hearted but naïve dupe or at worst, some sort of F/FA apologist. Fine. Maybe I am hoping for too much or asking for too much from the fat admirers of the board. But I am pretty confident that even if my vision of a fat admirer board is incorrect, if it did devolve into something else, Im pretty sure it would be shut down in a heartbeat. The moderator team includes men and women F/FA and non. There are several viewpoints looking at this decision and should the board happen, watching over it.
> 
> That is all I am going to say publicly about my reasons for wanting this board. That is the last thing I am ever going to say publicly about wanting this board.


----------



## exile in thighville

LillyBBBW said:


> I was refering to your ability to make these snappy posts to get everyone all riled up. I don't peg you for a stupid guy so I figure you know that your posts are inflammatory and that you make them that way deliberately to get a rise out of people. If you could really stop being an FA,leave and make other FAs leave too I would suppose wherever you go you would do the same as you do here because it is part of your personality. But I don't truly believe you could stop being FA and spread it around to others.



i'd never want to stop being an fa, it's part of what makes me inflammatory

think about it, this is how i am amongst my people...how do you think i am around anti-fats


----------



## BLUEeyedBanshee

mergirl said:


> oh sorry.. i just saw the faint 'i actually am scared of hippos' bit!!
> sorry.. hugs xx



Eh, it's ok, my friends are horrible and make fun of me sending pictures of hippos. Mind you cartoon hippos are ok. real hippos not so much. so where do pink hippos fall? will they be cartoon ones or real?


----------



## mergirl

BLUEeyedBanshee said:


> Eh, it's ok, my friends are horrible and make fun of me sending pictures of hippos. Mind you cartoon hippos are ok. real hippos not so much. so where do pink hippos fall? will they be cartoon ones or real?


Dont worry..they will be totally imaginary. Also, did i mention pink hippos are only 2 inches tall. Does that make them less scary? Or did i just make them even more creepy for you there!! lol


----------



## BLUEeyedBanshee

Are they still crazy territorial and ready to attack?


----------



## Webmaster

I now have a much better idea what people think of a potential FA board.

It's a wonderful addition to Dimensions for the often neglected contingent of male FAs that could, should, might or has to include female FAs, but maybe not, that is also completely unnecessary, a stupid board, and, in fact, just further marginalization of women at Dimensions, a veritable slap in the face, actually. Such a board should definitely be private but not necessarily as we don't need another place for FAs to engage in their awful fantasy talk, and its location should be, well, it could be many places.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Webmaster said:


> I now have a much better idea what people think of a potential FA board.
> 
> It's a wonderful addition to Dimensions for the often neglected contingent of male FAs that could, should, might or has to include female FAs, but maybe not, that is also completely unnecessary, a stupid board, and, in fact, just further marginalization of women at Dimensions, a veritable slap in the face, actually. Such a board should definitely be private but not necessarily as we don't need another place for FAs to engage in their awful fantasy talk, and its location should be, well, it could be many places.




lol. See *everyone*, Conrad does listen


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

Webmaster said:


> I now have a much better idea what people think of a potential FA board.
> 
> It's a wonderful addition to Dimensions for the often neglected contingent of male FAs that could, should, might or has to include female FAs, but maybe not, that is also completely unnecessary, a stupid board, and, in fact, just further marginalization of women at Dimensions, a veritable slap in the face, actually. Such a board should definitely be private but not necessarily as we don't need another place for FAs to engage in their awful fantasy talk, and its location should be, well, it could be many places.



Sir, you are a master of sarcasm. However, you did just succinctly summarize 16 pages of posts!


----------



## FatAndProud

I'll give the mods $1 to close this thread


----------



## olwen

Santaclear said:


> I think a separate board will lead to a further "us" vs. "them" mentality.
> 
> I think it's GOOD that FAs and BBWs mix it up here on the boards. The presence of the BBWs here to NOT coddle some of the FA ramblings is an excellent reality check for all. In addition I think it puts BBWs more in touch with FAs' thoughts, giving them more information to go on, something which a separate (or even just protected) board would take away from them.



I think some of the arguments are becoming kinda wacky at this point. Makes me want to LOL. That's not directed at you tho Santa.

Santa, I see your point, but I think bbws are very much in touch with FAs thoughts especially if we've been on the receiving end of those thoughts more than once in both positive and negative ways. It's also been clear to me that the reality check we give some of the closeted ones doesn't seem to do much in the way of making them live in that reality. They need to hear it from people who know exactly what they are going thru. Thus the need for an FA board. And as I said before, I honestly do not want to be smacked in the face over and over again by attitudes I've already had to deal with on a personal level. I like knowing there would be a space I can avoid if I want to. I also think it would be good to have that space be protected so they can say what they want openly and honestly - if that really will be the best way for them to work out their issues. 

Let em have their space.


----------



## olwen

Dr. P Marshall said:


> Ive seen a lot of arguments for and against an FA/FFA board that make sense. What I keep noticing, however, is that they are often arguments for or against a board that bears little resemblance to the board that is actually being proposed. First of all, the board up for consideration is an FA/FFA board. In fact, in the entire proposal the term FA board is never used. It is FA/FFA board every time. Secondly, this proposal is resonating with FFAs as well as FAs. In some cases the positive responses were very strong. Some of the stronger responses came from FFAs who are among the more thoughtful and introspective. I dont think that we are all signing up to participate in a board full of closet case hand holding and misogyny. That really isnt how the FFAs tend to operate.
> 
> Since I am one of the supporters of the proposal, I thought perhaps I should state the reasons I personally have always wanted an FA/FFA board. I am speaking only for myself here, but these are the reasons that I think it would be of value. I am not happy about doing this because 1) it involves a time in my life where I had feelings I really dont like to revisit, and 2) my story involves other people (one in particular) and I never wanted it to appear that I just willy nilly air personal business. But at this point, I am seeing so much misunderstanding, that I figure Ill throw it out there and hopefully those close to me will understand.
> 
> At this point in my life, I probably dont NEED this type of board. But the Dr. P of a year through a year and a half ago, definitely did. And it wasnt here. I have wrestled long and hard with guilt. Granted, I am the worst of the worst, the monster of monsters, the triple threat- fat admirer with feederism tendencies and a weight gain fetishist. And before anyone accuses me of trying to assuage my guilt about actions I take, lets be clear, I have developed my own boundaries and I personally would not enter into a feeder relationship. Because I personally know where I trust myself and where I dont. I am judging only myself here, but this is not some justification for doing things. I have my boundaries. But I had to find them, and that wasnt easy. I made the decision to explore this issue without being in a feeder/feedee relationship. So I am also not retroactively justifying anything. Just to be perfectly clear. I realize not all FA/FFA s are fetishists, but I always thought a board full of FA/FFAs would make it easier to find at least a few. I know there is a weight board, but my issues werent really going to be supported in an environment like that. I didnt want to talk about what was hot and I would probably as a fetishist have been moderated for being negative or at the least a buzz kill.
> 
> I have never been in the closet as an FFA. I dated BHM even before I got it. But once I was ready to deal with the fetishist issues, especially the weight gain fetish, things got ugly inside my head very fast. I went into a sort of free fall. At the time my experience on the boards in general was limited. I had lurked in the library, and the weight board and had seen the conflicts that led to the division of the weight board. All of that made me think that I would either be viewed as a monster by the other members or that my fellow fetishists wouldnt appreciate me expressing any guilt or doubt publicly. In other words, I felt that even here, there wasnt truly a place for me to deal with my personal issues publicly. I know we all have to walk our own path, but the overwhelming confusion was such that I felt I needed something to anchor me. I have always felt an FA/FFA board didnt need to be private, but I did want it protected because I know that at my lowest point had even one person casually thrown out yeah, that IS messed up it would have been too much for me. Maybe thats whiny, but it is the truth. It would have been the end of me at Dims, the end of me living my life fully as an FFA and possibly worse. There isnt a list of FFA/FA friendly psychologists, so I imagine I would have spent a long, painful and futile time having someone try to cure me.
> 
> Now what did save me at the time was the support of two people, a very close BHM friend of mine here and a friend of mine in real life. The BHM in particular went well above and beyond. The problem is, neither of them are FAs. So, basically in the case of the BHM, it led to me unfairly discussing things that created confusion and in some instances pain on one or both sides. I think had there been a central location of FAs and FFAs talking about these issues, I would have made better decisions about what to talk about to whom. Dont get me wrong, that friendship is unbelievably important to me, but I would have preferred to have not dragged him into my issues as an FFA. I think it was unfair, and I wish it hadnt happened that way. At the time, however, I didnt even really understand that that was what I was doing. So for me, this board is not only for FA/FFAs who find themselves where I was at the time, but also for any BHM/BBW friends, (or God help them) lovers or spouses who may find themselves in the situation my friend was in at the time. There are some things F/FAs should turn to each other for, in my opinion. I dont mean that BBW and BHM arent helpful, I just stated the person who got me through it all was a BHM, but I think it would be better for some of the deeper darker issues for FAs to turn to other FAs. (male and female). Also, the one thing that my two friends couldnt help me with was the one thing at the time I most wanted to hear. Basically I understand, Ive been there myself, you can and will get through it, you can learn to strike a balance and set boundaries and you can live a full life. Because, see, at the time, I had been becoming convinced that I DESERVED to die alone because of what was going through my head. I really felt I was a menace to anyone I would ever find attractive, and that I was such a freak, I was a constant outsider in the real world. Later, after I had worked my way through all of this, I learned that some of the FAs and FFAs on the board who I liked shared some or all of my fetishes. But I didnt know it at the time, because I didnt read every thread everywhere that would have told me that. That is why I thought a centralized location to discuss issues like guilt and relationship issues and seeing other F/FAs as role models would help. Yes, there is a BHM/FFA board, but I think a lot of the time because of sensitivity to the very issues Ive just described, we only touch the surface of things. It IS wonderful to have a BBW or BHM tell you F/FAs are great and they like you and see you as a part of the community. It always touches me when I see that and I am personally prone to repping such posts. But often those people dont understand WHY you feel so much guilt or so monstrous. Sometimes it was difficult for me to articulate it to myself. It would be nice to have a place where a lot of people understand the nature of the guilt and can discuss the issues of coping with it, who understand those of us who have to work to constantly keep things in balance between our sexual drives and turn ons, and our care and concern for the people close to us. Yes, were not all the same, but I think in many cases the issues feel the same. And sometimes when really getting to the heart of the matter of an issue like guilt, some of the reasons are going to be the type of things that BBW and BHM who arent themselves fat admirers might not understand or at the very least, might not want to hear. F/FAs grew up in the same fat phobic society. Even if we dont buy it all, we may still at times wonder or at the very least want to figure out how to deal with the guilt that remains anyway no matter what you may personally believe. For example, knowing that your family and friends think you dont care about your partners health and well being because you prefer that he or she is fat. Issues like that. Nothing sinister, just things that probably dont need to be hashed out to the community as a whole. Or that may cause some members to jump in and say but fat does not equal unhealthy. A valid point, but not the issue the F/FFA is struggling with. It is the perceptions or the doubts. That is the difference. And I think F/FAs including the fat ones would understand right away what the person was actually dealing with.
> 
> Now, I am sure I will be painted as a (possibly) good hearted but naïve dupe or at worst, some sort of F/FA apologist. Fine. Maybe I am hoping for too much or asking for too much from the fat admirers of the board. But I am pretty confident that even if my vision of a fat admirer board is incorrect, if it did devolve into something else, Im pretty sure it would be shut down in a heartbeat. The moderator team includes men and women F/FA and non. There are several viewpoints looking at this decision and should the board happen, watching over it.
> 
> That is all I am going to say publicly about my reasons for wanting this board. That is the last thing I am ever going to say publicly about wanting this board.



Wish I had read this before I posted. Great post Dr P.


----------



## SamanthaNY

exile in thighville said:


> think about it, this is how i am amongst my people...how do you think i am around anti-fats


So, in essence, we should be thankful this is how you are, because you get even worse. Worse that the butt wiping remark, and worse than the jaunty quip about how you rape girls "all the time*". 

The 'shut up and take it' defense. 

Right.



*the post still stands, but from another thread - not quoted cuz that's against rules.


----------



## Littleghost

exile in thighville said:


> this is absurd
> 
> also
> 
> lock thread



How is that absurd?
Maybe you should just lock yourself out, because I can't see you've posted anything helping the case.


----------



## Tooz

"Really all these FAs who feel their voices are being extinguished need to do is use the reporting feature whenever someone goes into a protected sexuality board and shits all over their kinks."

SAID BY AN FA.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

fatchicksrockuk said:


> I would sincerely hope that this sort of behavior *would not be tolerated, anymore than it is anywhere else on Dimensions.* Objectification like this, and worse, the "10 ten BBWs" type crap, should not, and I would assume will not, be allowed.
> 
> Mike



Those top ten lists.........they are allowed.....they only go "bad" when women protest being compared. Not a bad thing IMO....



Santaclear said:


> I think a separate board will lead to a further "us" vs. "them" mentality.
> 
> I think it's GOOD that FAs and BBWs mix it up here on the boards. The presence of the BBWs here to NOT coddle some of the FA ramblings is an excellent reality check for all. In addition I think it puts BBWs more in touch with FAs' thoughts, giving them more information to go on, something which a separate (or even just protected) board would take away from them.


I'm with you





mossystate said:


> I am bi-sizeual, so that makes me an fa. I think this means I should be let in. Come on, be a pal. What about the bi-sizuals amongst us. I will be a good girl and not give a shit about bbw getting a safe haven, a sacred place...if my bi-sizuality fa'ism is given a nod....* looks up with pussNboots eyes *



I asked this before.......



BLUEeyedBanshee said:


> Sure why wouldn't one who is bi-sizual not be a fa. They at some point admire those who are fat right?



Thank you- someone else put down the bi-sizuals when I asked. I tend to think that a LOT of the "FAs" here are bi-sizual like myself. 

Were any of the other bi-sizuals privy to James' request before it was submitted? It bothers me when I detect that arrogant dismissal of bi-sizuals that can be read in some posts.

But then again, I agree with this....



mergirl said:


> See, i really cant think of one Fa specific issue that would have to be discussed on a private board.. What issues? Even one?


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Those top ten lists.........they are allowed.....they only go "bad" when women protest being compared. Not a bad thing IMO....



Not quite true..I have complained about several of these before. Not sure whether I've ever made a difference, but it does make me feel better trying!


----------



## James

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Were any of the other bi-sizuals privy to James' request before it was submitted? It bothers me when I detect that arrogant dismissal of bi-sizuals that can be read in some posts.



Yes. I sent it to all the people I knew that identified themselves as FAs or FFAs and asked them to send it on to those that they knew. I definitely included bisizual women and men in my original mail-out.


----------



## Sandie S-R

FatAndProud said:


> I'll give the mods $1 to close this thread



A dollar? Oy vey. 

We may be had - but we are not cheap.


----------



## mejix

i feel oppressed. i need to be empowered. we need a place were we can share our FA feelings and talk about FA fashion and FA politics. sort of like an FA locker room where we can stand naked, emotionally, in front of each other and compare the size of our FA feelings.


----------



## FatAndProud

Sandie S-R said:


> A dollar? Oy vey.
> 
> We may be had - but we are not cheap.



lol $1.50?!


----------



## mediaboy

voted hell nah'


ps

lolling hard at bbws who think an FA forum would be a place for men to shit talk them behind there backs. A personal attack is a personal attack lol. Its much more likely we would talk about who we want to bone really bad and how we can better please, sexually & not-quite-as-sexually, the needs of the large ladies we love.

the bellow is *FUCKING SARCASM ROFL*

I mean, come on, who do you think we are, women?


----------



## elle camino

p. much done with this topic as it's been discussed to death five times by now, but who's worried about FA's 'talking shit' on the FA board? like where did the talking shit thing come from, cause all i've seen are basic worries about it becoming something of a sanctuary for posts like this.


edit: didn't say that to touch off some renewed debate over whether it will or won't be - like i said, don't really care. just pointing out that the 'oh no, people will be saying i'm not pretty behind my back on this FA board!' thing is off-base and a little condescending.


----------



## BeaBea

mediaboy said:


> ...we would talk about who we want to bone really bad and how we can better please, sexually & not-quite-as-sexually, the needs of the large ladies we love.



I'm fascinated that you think another FA might willingly share his killer sexual techniques. I would have thought that's the kind of info you'd keep to yourself (and maybe patent!) Aren't you boys nice!?! 

Lol - I dont tell -anyone- my best moves! 

Tracey xx


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

fatchicksrockuk said:


> Not quite true..I have complained about several of these before. Not sure whether I've ever made a difference, but it does make me feel better trying!



You know Mike...once I read this, it seems like I DO remember you speaking up in a thread. 

*curtsies*

Thank you, Sir


----------



## Observer

Elle Camino: 

Interesting post that you link to - an FA apparently gave up on a relationship because he wasn't able to counter the "you could do better" negativism of his girl friend and her friends. 

Forty years ago I saw frustrated guys doing such things (not just over weight issue either) that and did it myself a few times until I learned how to screen out such noise and negative scripting. Techniques include learning to constantly find legitimate things to praise, diverting negativity by yourself asking for legitimate help on shared areas of interest and then publicly expressing thanks, encouraging third party concurrance in positive aspects, and making it clear you don't share negative views.

I'm sure other men here have dealt similarly with negativity and possibly could add some. Had the person you're referencing had a little mentoring he could possibly have helped this self-percieved ugly duckling blossom into the swan that she is capable of being. Of course being willing to do that means that you have to yourself be able to see the swan - not just profess it. is problem from reading he post is that he bought into the arguement is that he was "settling" for less than he could get instead of msking it clear that he knew exactly what he was doing an wanted.

If an FA or FFA doesn't know the story of the "Eight Cow Wife" (which I first saw in the Reader's Digest ages ago but is reprinted here) I would suggest they read it. And I would like to see posts such as the one you reference so that I can give such counsel.


----------



## elle camino

welcome to this thread 9 pages ago. that's kind of the whole rub. 
pretty sure we've agreed to disagree. but apparently keep talking about it. possibly forever.


----------



## FatAndProud

..........and ever


----------



## exile in thighville

SamanthaNY said:


> So, in essence, we should be thankful this is how you are, because you get even worse. Worse that the butt wiping remark, and worse than the jaunty quip about how you rape girls "all the time*".
> 
> The 'shut up and take it' defense.
> 
> Right.
> 
> 
> 
> *the post still stands, but from another thread - not quoted cuz that's against rules.





largenlovely said:


> That's pretty much how i feel about it.
> 
> Though i'd like to add, if he leaves and has any influence over some others to make them leave as well.... good riddance to all of them then. Who needs that kinda crap.





BeaBea said:


> It was derogatory. When you suggest that I have nothing to talk about other than how to wipe my butt it's hard not to be insulted.
> 
> 
> 
> You going away = fine by me.
> Any FA that wants to listen to you and go away = also fine by me.
> 
> Tracey



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tongue_in_cheek
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_comedy
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irony
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sardonic
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satire
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parody
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humor
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Not_Real
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Why_So_Serious?


----------



## katorade

exile in thighville said:


> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tongue_in_cheek
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_comedy
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irony
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sardonic
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satire
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parody
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humor
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Not_Real
> http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Why_So_Serious?




The difference between those definitions and the stuff that you post is that they're actually funny.


----------



## exile in thighville

BeaBea said:


> When you suggest that I have nothing to talk about other than how to wipe my butt it's hard not to be insulted.
> 
> 
> 
> You going away = fine by me.
> Any FA that wants to listen to you and go away = also fine by me.
> 
> Tracey



i wasn't going to give any of these a serious response but here are the ironies i question from your post

1. i didn't suggest you don't talk about anything other than how you wipe your butt, however this quote begs this Genuine Query: why would you waste wise words on a private forum designed for potentially embarrassing topics rather than post these sentiments for a larger audience on a public board? is it not fair to assume you only post the Personal Private Stuff on personal private board and share the rest with us?

2. i'm one of the fas who's not actually turned white by the functions of the (larger) human body, hence my being able to joke about it without it being at any actual person's expense...there's no hatred behind it and in fact quite a bit of empathy and understanding

3. not that everyone would gather that from the way i post around here, but of course reading my posts might also lead you to believe i rape girls all the time too so you know, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grain_of_salt


----------



## exile in thighville

katorade said:


> The difference between those definitions and the stuff that you post is that they're actually funny.



i dunno the batman meme's kinda past its prime


----------



## exile in thighville

then there's this joint i run pretty much centered entirely around the improvement of relations and understanding between the bbw and fa minds whether they agree with my take on it or not (and they have forum to dissent, discuss or debate in the comments)...


----------



## Ivy

exile in thighville said:


> then there's this joint i run pretty much centered entirely around the improvement of relations and understanding between the bbw and fa minds whether they agree with my take on it or not (and they have forum to dissent, discuss or debate in the comments)...



yeah, because clearly that blog is all about you helping people and not your own over inflated sense of self worth and ego. in order to give relationship and life advice don't you have to have some kind of *positive* experience and not just ridiculous/slimey disasters? hmm.


----------



## hollyfo

Ivy said:


> yeah, because clearly that blog is all about you helping people and not your own over inflated sense of self worth and ego. in order to give relationship and life advice don't you have to have some kind of *positive* experience and not just ridiculous/slimey disasters? hmm.



..........


----------



## Weeze

http://tinyurl.com/awyxh6


----------



## mossystate

exile in thighville said:


> then there's this joint i run pretty much centered entirely around the improvement of relations and understanding between the bbw and fa minds whether they agree with my take on it or not (and they have forum to dissent, discuss or debate in the comments)...



Translation....


WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
IWANNABETHEFASTARIWANNABETHEFASTARIWANNABETHEFASTARWAAAAAAA

Shhhhhhh....drop it...really....drop it...shrill


----------



## largenlovely

so this is all about you? what about the people who aren't comfortable with it? I can't imagine you making statements like you've made would allow for anyone to feel any *more* comfortable about it. In fact, i'd say it's a pretty safe bet that it would make them feel worse. 

You may say it wasn't at anyone's expense, but just about anyone who has to deal with that particular issue took that personal. You're just completely insensitive to other people it seems...i mean c'mon, look at all the people who you've upset with this post alone, not to mention the many others in the past. Unless you're just enjoying the attention.. regardless of the fact that it's negative attention, which very well might be the case. 



exile in thighville said:


> 2. i'm one of the fas who's not actually turned white by the functions of the (larger) human body, hence my being able to joke about it without it being at any actual person's expense...there's no hatred behind it and in fact quite a bit of empathy and understanding


----------



## exile in thighville

Ivy said:


> yeah, because clearly that blog is all about you helping people and not your own over inflated sense of self worth and ego. in order to give relationship and life advice don't you have to have some kind of *positive* experience and not just ridiculous/slimey disasters? hmm.



feel free to link one of the posts where i talk about one of these negative experiences to jog my memory


----------



## Ivy

exile in thighville said:


> feel free to link one of the posts where i talk about one of these negative experiences to jog my memory



you're not getting it.


----------



## exile in thighville

i'm not, so feel free to explain and provide examples, i'm willing to hear this argument you have introduced about my blog


----------



## Ivy

exile in thighville said:


> i'm not, so feel free to explain and provide examples, i'm willing to hear this argument you have introduced about my blog



the first part is self explanatory. the second part implies that you are in no position to give anyone any kind of advice regarding fat women or relationships.


----------



## exile in thighville

so basically...you aren't aware of any negative personal experiences i've had either


----------



## Ivy

exile in thighville said:


> so basically...you aren't aware of any negative personal experiences i've had either



oh no, i'm well aware of many. i'm just not into making them public out of respect for people who are not you.


----------



## exile in thighville

so what are you doing exactly in this thread


----------



## Ivy

exile in thighville said:


> so what are you doing exactly in this thread



telling you that you should probably shut up and not talk about things that you do not know anything about.


----------



## exile in thighville




----------



## furious styles




----------



## TotallyReal




----------



## Jon Blaze

TotallyReal said:


>



SO DESU NAI! :bow:


----------



## Famouslastwords

Oh Gawd. Bitch, please. This subject again?


----------



## FatAndProud

TotallyReal said:


>



draw me an ASCII drawing. i think it'll be fantastic.


----------



## BeaBea

exile in thighville said:


> i wasn't going to give any of these a serious response but here are the ironies i question from your post
> 
> 1. i didn't suggest you don't talk about anything other than how you wipe your butt, however this quote begs this Genuine Query: why would you waste wise words on a private forum designed for potentially embarrassing topics rather than post these sentiments for a larger audience on a public board? is it not fair to assume you only post the Personal Private Stuff on personal private board and share the rest with us?


Feel free to assume anything you want about what I post and where, I'm afraid it just comes across as you scratching at the door and whining again. The point I was making is when you express yourself in such a crude and insulting manner it doesn't contribute anything towards the debate. When your responses put people off from sharing on the main boards it just reinforces all the negative experiences they get from the world outside Dimensions. It doesnt help them, it doesnt help Dimensions and (if you are sincere in your enquiries) it doesnt help you. 



exile in thighville said:


> 2. i'm one of the fas who's not actually turned white by the functions of the (larger) human body, hence my being able to joke about it without it being at any actual person's expense...there's no hatred behind it and in fact quite a bit of empathy and understanding


Declaring that you have empathy and understanding while failing to demonstrate either is too funny for words. For info though, it doesn't matter whether YOU are ok with me posting my personal stuff, it matters whether I am ok with it. 



exile in thighville said:


> 3. not that everyone would gather that from the way i post around here, but of course reading my posts might also lead you to believe i rape girls all the time too so you know, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grain_of_salt


Yes, it wasn't funny the first time you posted it. It's still not funny now. Oh and for info, it wont be funny next time you post it either.

Tracey


----------



## exile in thighville

you've spent an awful lot of words telling me what i think


----------



## BeaBea

exile in thighville said:


> you've spent an awful lot of words telling me what i think



Was that directed at me? I'm actually still on the fence regarding the question of whether you do think. You post a lot, but it's not the same thing.

Tracey


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Famouslastwords said:


> Oh Gawd. Bitch, please. This subject again?



Yeah......and who in hell is Desu? 

I'm thinking Dan might get his wish and get this thread locked soon :wubu:


----------



## Weeze

No, seriously.
This shit's getting out of hand.

This is not a sobbing plea for everyone to get along, because I really don't care if you all like one another or not.

This is a seriously-this-is-getting-annoying-to-see.


----------



## rollhandler

mergirl said:


> But there are posts like "Dating a ssbbw" on the regular forums where you can learn all about that. The reason these posts are private is because the ssbbws want them to be because the issues raised there are personal and ones only other ssbbws would/could relate to. I see no reason why anyone else would need/want to have access to that forum other than for reasons of wank.



I recently had an experience that as an FA who is quite knowlegeable of large womens issues (but always learning more) brings understanding as to why that SSBBW board is private. An SSBBW who knows personally the woman I dated had discussed a specific to SSBBW issue of an extremely intimate and personal nature with my girlfriend. it was so distressing to her but she wasnt even comfortable talking about it to her doctor due to the nature of the problem, its specificity to being large, and fear of judgement. She found it easier to discuss and get a solution from another woman instead of getting a medical diagnosis and treatment. So I fully understand the need to have the SSBBW issues board be quite private and segregated.
As for a segregated FA board the only reason i can think of for having one is simple privacy where the guys could discuss their ssbbw tastes in graphic detail, without the women tearing them apart or judging them as pervs, trade tricks of the bedroom, and solve issues involved with the day to day care of the women they adore and live with. This however can be simply solved by adding a tag on the outside of the post topic that it is a mens only topic. Men do discuss women differently when in the presence of women than they do when they are just being guys and no women are present. 
I agree with the posters that state that the entire Dimensions website is in effect an FA board and website. Maybe instead of creating an entire board, a feature can be added to the forums that by clicking it makes the thread private by gender marked in a profile. Women can keep the guys out of a girls private thread and the men can do the same. This takes care of several issues like moderation, and upkeep on yet another space and figuring out how to divide by taste to keep the feeders and general FAs from getting on each others nerves.
Rollhandler


----------



## exile in thighville

i'm sure conrad's figured out whether or not we deserve an fa board by now


----------



## SamanthaNY

rollhandler said:


> As for a segregated FA board the only reason i can think of for having one is simple privacy where the guys could discuss their ssbbw tastes in graphic detail, without the women tearing them apart or judging them as pervs, trade tricks of the bedroom, and solve issues involved with the day to day care of the women they adore and live with. This however can be simply solved by adding a tag on the outside of the post topic that it is a mens only topic. Men do discuss women differently when in the presence of women than they do when they are just being guys and no women are present.


But it's not a division by gender. It's a division of FAs and... what, non-FAs I guess? Who exactly identifies themselves as a _non_-FA? Personally, I don't specifically identify as an FA, and yet I appreciate the beauty and sexuality of a fat body, so I can't honestly say I'm a non-FA. 

FAs have thus far been defined for this new board as FA men, FFAs, bisizuals (men and women) and I suppose anyone who appreciates fat in terms of sexuality with regard to a partner. Okay. But, um... that includes the majority of the entire site's membership though, so I am unclear as to how exactly the membership to be fairly determined. And who will be making those decisions?


----------



## thatgirl08

rollhandler said:


> I recently had an experience that as an FA who is quite knowlegeable of large womens issues (but always learning more) brings understanding as to why that SSBBW board is private. An SSBBW who knows personally the woman I dated had discussed a specific to SSBBW issue of an extremely intimate and personal nature with my girlfriend. it was so distressing to her but she wasnt even comfortable talking about it to her doctor due to the nature of the problem, its specificity to being large, and fear of judgement. She found it easier to discuss and get a solution from another woman instead of getting a medical diagnosis and treatment. So I fully understand the need to have the SSBBW issues board be quite private and segregated.
> As for a segregated FA board the only reason i can think of for having one is simple privacy where the guys could discuss their ssbbw tastes in graphic detail, without the women tearing them apart or judging them as pervs, trade tricks of the bedroom, and solve issues involved with the day to day care of the women they adore and live with. This however can be simply solved by adding a tag on the outside of the post topic that it is a mens only topic. Men do discuss women differently when in the presence of women than they do when they are just being guys and no women are present.
> I agree with the posters that state that the entire Dimensions website is in effect an FA board and website. Maybe instead of creating an entire board, a feature can be added to the forums that by clicking it makes the thread private by gender marked in a profile. Women can keep the guys out of a girls private thread and the men can do the same. This takes care of several issues like moderation, and upkeep on yet another space and figuring out how to divide by taste to keep the feeders and general FAs from getting on each others nerves.
> Rollhandler



What about the FFAs though?


----------



## rollhandler

As I understand it the issue is not gender but privacy, I do apologize for mindlessness on my part of stereotyping. However I believe also that I offered a viable alternative (albeit a biased by stereotype one) that negates the need of a segregated board, would negate the need also of extra moderation, save the space on a server, and could be tweeked in any way necessary to only allow viewing and response by those the posts are intended to serve. I again apologize for my sterotyping and inadvertant leaving out of any group, that wasnt the point of the post. Maybe I should have read it over before posting as I usually do to find such discrepencies.

BTW my vote is that we DON'T need a separate board, however I do see the need for privacy at times to discuss an issue getting feedback as a group as opposed to one on one. All this would take is to have a profile filled out with a preference and an alteration in the main post to allow a privacy setting for those instances.

Rollhandler


----------



## olwen

rollhandler said:


> As I understand it the issue is not gender but privacy, I do apologize for mindlessness on my part of stereotyping. However I believe also that I offered a viable alternative (albeit a biased by stereotype one) that negates the need of a segregated board, would negate the need also of extra moderation, save the space on a server, and could be tweeked in any way necessary to only allow viewing and response by those the posts are intended to serve. I again apologize for my sterotyping and inadvertant leaving out of any group, that wasnt the point of the post. Maybe I should have read it over before posting as I usually do to find such discrepencies.
> 
> BTW my vote is that we DON'T need a separate board, however I do see the need for privacy at times to discuss an issue getting feedback as a group as opposed to one on one. All this would take is to have a profile filled out with a preference and an alteration in the main post to allow a privacy setting for those instances.
> 
> Rollhandler



Yeah, except if a person wanted to change those settings they could and get to view the posts if they wanted to, so I don't think this idea would work the way you want it to.


At this point do we really need to keep throwing out ideas for how the area should operate. The proposal has already been sent and is being reviewed. FFAs were involved in the proposal and they'd be involved in the board if it goes up.


----------



## TotallyReal

FatAndProud said:


> draw me an ASCII drawing. i think it'll be fantastic.



|===|=======================| 
|||||_|_|_|_|_|_|
_____________] _|_|_|_|_|_|
_____________] 
|---|-------|--_-_--|-------| 
|[ ]| [:.:] |,'`. `
.| [:.:] | 
====|======== ||:|======== 
||^|| {$} | 
|---|-------|--_-_--|-------| 
|[ ]| [:.:] |,'`. `
.| [:.:] | 
====|===== ||:| {$} | 
||:|| ..) | ||:| . | 
||:||=======| ||:|=======|


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

TotallyReal said:


> |===|=======================|
> |||||_|_|_|_|_|_|
> _____________] _|_|_|_|_|_|
> _____________]
> |---|-------|--_-_--|-------|
> |[ ]| [:.:] |,'`. `
> .| [:.:] |
> ====|======== ||:|========
> ||^|| {$} |
> |---|-------|--_-_--|-------|
> |[ ]| [:.:] |,'`. `
> .| [:.:] |
> ====|===== ||:| {$} |
> ||:|| ..) | ||:| . |
> ||:||=======| ||:|=======|




LOL. Your siggy looks like a cat after it has been ran over by a 16 wheeler.


----------



## exile in thighville

might as well add something constructive after making like rachel getting married up in this piece:

a bbw (1:36:12 AM): i dont think there should be one. 
an fa (1:36:35 AM): i'm with you but i'm not against it either, i think everyone freaking out about policing it...
an fa (1:36:54 AM): it's more like, if there's one that's fine but i doubt i'll have a need to post there
an fa (1:37:10 AM): i'm surprised more girls aren't curious to pick the brains of fas though
an fa (1:37:38 AM): since an fa board will pretty much give the accusatory ones all the evidence they'll need for future rants
a bbw (1:37:46 AM): yeah
an fa (1:37:53 AM): except oh wait they'll be kept out
an fa (1:37:56 AM): boo hoo
an fa (1:38:04 AM): maybe an fa board could be good
a bbw (1:38:16 AM): idk.
a bbw (1:38:33 AM): no ones really established what is actually going to be talked about.
an fa (1:38:55 AM): they've been too busy assuming or fighting assumptions
an fa (1:39:08 AM): it's gonna be guy talk.
a bbw (1:39:14 AM): like what though?
an fa (1:39:21 AM): why girls have cooties
a bbw (1:39:24 AM): yeah.
an fa (1:39:51 AM): here's my theory as an optimist
an fa (1:39:57 AM): fas do not open up on dimensions
an fa (1:40:07 AM): they are too afraid of threads like this where they get shot down
an fa (1:40:27 AM): and when they do something shameful
an fa (1:40:39 AM): theyre likely to bury it and pretend it never happened
an fa (1:40:45 AM): hoping their ex won't yap
a bbw (1:40:53 AM): sooo then
a bbw (1:40:56 AM): theyll go and tell other fas? 
a bbw (1:41:04 AM): oh oops im an asshole
a bbw (1:41:09 AM): oh dude its alright weve all been assholes 
a bbw (1:41:10 AM): yeah
a bbw (1:41:16 AM): well i suppose you could try not being an asshole
an fa (1:41:20 AM): the optimistic theory is that maybe fas will teach each other some manners without the intimidation of women
a bbw (1:41:29 AM): its really not that hard.
a bbw (1:41:33 AM): why do we need an entire board for that
an fa (1:41:50 AM): because it hasn't changed and a board would be something new to try
an fa (1:42:03 AM): it's not hard for the smart few
an fa (1:42:14 AM): maybe the dumb ones will pick up on something thru popularity
an fa (1:42:47 AM): i see the board being like an intervention kind of
an fa (1:43:03 AM): people could start threads about doing stuff they wish they didn't
an fa (1:43:10 AM): and maybe others would join in knowing they're not alone
an fa (1:43:23 AM): and feel solidarity and change or grow balls
an fa (1:43:47 AM): or you know, address why they think scooters are icky
a bbw (1:44:22 AM): idk.
a bbw (1:46:00 AM): i didnt even realize there was an ss board
an fa (1:46:46 AM): [another bbw]'s sitting here and just made a good point that
a bbw (1:47:17 AM): how many threads can there be about
a bbw (1:47:22 AM): OH I FUCKED UP, TELL ME HOW TO STOP FUCKING UP
an fa (1:48:23 AM): people must be pretty insecure if they're that worried about what the guys will say
an fa (1:48:38 AM): and also "isn't there a limit to how many posts you can make about [secret stuff]"
a bbw (1:49:12 AM): probably. 
a bbw (1:49:14 AM): but i wouldnt know. 
a bbw (1:49:18 AM): since im not part of that board either.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

exile in thighville said:


> might as well add something constructive after making like rachel getting married up in this piece:
> 
> an fa (1:48:38 AM): and also "isn't there a limit to how many posts you can make about wiping your ass too"




Seriously, stop it. Not all SSBBW's have reach issues. And those that do should not be made to feel like shit.


----------



## exile in thighville

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Seriously, stop it. Not all SSBBW's have reach issues. And those that do should not be made to feel like shit.



easy tiger, that was a quote.

editing out all the constructive parts was clever though


----------



## Haunted

exile in thighville said:


> easy tiger, that was a quote



I don't get you man. you claim to have some master plan but you really come off as one huge insensitive Asshole


----------



## BeaBea

exile in thighville said:


> might as well add something constructive...



I dont understand how a random conversation excerpt helps, particularly since its anonymous. If the participants want to contribute hopefully they will do so in this thread. If they were just chatting about it I dont understand why you felt the need to repeat it here. 

Basically I guess I'm still waiting for the 'constructive' bit.

Tracey


----------



## Carrie

Internet tantrums.


----------



## exile in thighville

if it makes everyone happy and closer to the bullseye, i will edit out the offending quote


----------



## Fascinita

I saw this thread on the front page and thought it was called "Do you think DIMS should have an afFAir?"


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

exile in thighville said:


> if it makes everyone happy and closer to the bullseye, i will edit out the offending quote




I dunno about everyone, but it would make ME happy. Why can't you say something about needing to find clothes above a 4x or something? Cos ya know, I am one of the biggest of the biggest that post here and on the other board and I have no reach issues and wipe my own ass just like you do. So it is crazy that you think that I as an ssbbw only would have that issue to post about.


----------



## James

exile in thighville said:


> might as well add something constructive after making like rachel getting married up in this piece:
> 
> a bbw (1:36:12 AM): i dont think there should be one.... etc etc...



How is this post constructive?


----------



## Fascinita

exile in thighville said:


> if it makes everyone happy and closer to the bullseye, i will edit out the offending quote



MessianicComplexFA?


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

It may be my imagination, but the "yes" votes appear to have fallen from 55% to around 52%..perhaps Exile in Thighville's posts aren't helping this..I can see why, if people feel his posts are at all representative of what an FA board may contain.

I sincerely hope they are not.


----------



## exile in thighville

BigBellySSBBW said:


> I dunno about everyone, but it would make ME happy. Why can't you say something about needing to find clothes above a 4x or something? Cos ya know, I am one of the biggest of the biggest that post here and on the other board and I have no reach issues and wipe my own ass just like you do. So it is crazy that you think that I as an ssbbw only would have that issue to post about.



the post wasn't "about" that issue but it was referred to in passing

the n-word is used in mark twain's huck finn shouldn't you be writing letters to our schools



BeaBea said:


> I dont understand how a random conversation excerpt helps, particularly since its anonymous. If the participants want to contribute hopefully they will do so in this thread. If they were just chatting about it I dont understand why you felt the need to repeat it here.
> 
> Basically I guess I'm still waiting for the 'constructive' bit.
> 
> Tracey



get a life, this was a peace offering with some shared insight that you either care about or don't


----------



## exile in thighville

fatchicksrockuk said:


> It may be my imagination, but the "yes" votes appear to have fallen from 55% to around 52%..perhaps Exile in Thighville's posts aren't helping this..I can see why, if people feel his posts are at all representative of what an FA board may contain.
> 
> I sincerely hope they are not.



i'm not in favor of an fa board but that's an honest mistake since no one's actually reading these


----------



## mossystate

Iiiiiiiiiiiii get it...exile wants to continue mocking ( oops...joking in a fun and lighten up bitches, manner ) women who do have extreme difficulties, because some fat admirers get " intimidated "...cuz...that's productive. The mocking is not intimidation. TeeHee...some wimminz have trouble on the crapper.



" the optimistic theory is that maybe fas will teach each other some manners without the intimidation of women "



* cups ear *.....HUH????....WHA?????


Dumb bitches need to learn how to take a joke...yo. :bow:


----------



## exile in thighville

Fascinita said:


> MessianicComplexFA?



yes i have an ego what have you done for us lately


----------



## Fascinita

exile in thighville said:


> get a life, this was a peace offering with some shared insight that you either care about or don't



Ah, the old "get a life" defense. The last recourse of surly teens the world over.

Well, get a sense of humor!


----------



## Fascinita

exile in thighville said:


> what have you done for us lately



I've picked on you, just for the fun of it.


----------



## BeaBea

exile in thighville said:


> get a life, this was a peace offering with some shared insight that you either care about or don't



Its not 'shared insight' unless the people concerned come here and contribute to the debate for themselves. The people quoted are clearly interested in the issue and very able to articulate their thoughts. Until they do however the entire conversation could quite easily be fiction. 

If I was unkind I might even suggest it was a conversation between you and an imaginary friend but I'm sure you dont have any.

Tracey


----------



## largenlovely

seriously...can someone do something about this dumb kid


----------



## exile in thighville

Fascinita said:


> Ah, the old "get a life" defense. The last recourse of surly teens the world over.



i made a noncombative post, maybe my only one in this thread, and she's whining about it not impressing her, i mean if i went around following all her posts that do not impress me

it's just petty for the sake of being petty, this whole thread is.

tying this somewhat back to the topic, the witch hunt that ensued because god forbid i brought up a secret board by an un-p.c. name went much like the usual ones brought about by people on this board who cannot accept or face reality, the fears of never being loved, that they're being compared to a weightgain fetish cartoon, anything...an fa board would be too brutal and honest for the rigid standards sent by the complaintarati, correct...unless they'd be allowed to storm in with fingers pointed


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

exile in thighville said:


> i'm not in favor of an fa board but that's an honest mistake since no one's actually reading these



I was going to reply, but then I couldn't work out what the mistake was? Are you deliberately trying to sabotage an FA board?


----------



## exile in thighville

BeaBea said:


> Its not 'shared insight' unless the people concerned come here and contribute to the debate for themselves. The people quoted are clearly interested in the issue and very able to articulate their thoughts. Until they do however the entire conversation could quite easily be fiction.
> 
> If I was unkind I might even suggest it was a conversation between you and an imaginary friend but I'm sure you dont have any.
> 
> Tracey



i'm a writer (and my biggest weak spot so it happens, is writing dialogue) so the highest compliment you could pay me, actually, is accusing me of dreaming this up


----------



## Weeze

Dan vs. World.

Hilarity.

I don't understand how i'm expected to have a life when you people have this going constantly.


----------



## Ivy

Fascinita said:


> I've picked on you, just for the fun of it.



his ego is going to make him think that you "can't live without him!"


----------



## Tooz

krismiss said:


> Dan vs. World.
> 
> Hilarity.



Oh, but we're the ones with the problem, not him.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

krismiss said:


> Dan vs. World.
> 
> Hilarity.



It's not even funny.....just annoying...which I think is what he is aiming for.


----------



## exile in thighville

fatchicksrockuk said:


> I was going to reply, but then I couldn't work out what the mistake was? Are you deliberately trying to sabotage an FA board?



i said repeatedly: i don't need an fa forum but i find it silly that anyone but fas should have a say and specifically guffawed the exasperated posts by the babies who want extra police on the job



Fascinita said:


> I've picked on you, just for the fun of it.



i'm not unhappy to hear this and i'm glad your day wasn't ruined by a heated debate on the fucking internet


----------



## kayrae

anyone need some hugs?


----------



## Fascinita

exile in thighville said:


> i made a noncombative post, maybe my only one in this thread, and she's whining about it not impressing her, i mean if i went around following all her posts that do not impress me
> 
> it's just petty for the sake of being petty, this whole thread is.
> 
> tying this somewhat back to the topic, the witch hunt that ensued because god forbid i brought up a secret board by an un-p.c. name went much like the usual ones brought about by people on this board who cannot accept or face reality, the fears of never being loved, that they're being compared to a weightgain fetish cartoon, anything...an fa board would be too brutal and honest for the rigid standards sent by the complaintarati, correct...unless they'd be allowed to storm in with fingers pointed



Yeah, but you're being dogmatic (kudos to you, I have my own dogma) _completely_ at the expense of people's feelings. At some point, you have to realize you're dealing with people, dontcha? It's fine to raise Cain for the sake of making a point, but what *is* the point of talking down to individual people/antagonizing factions at large _ad infinitum_? Tone it down and break it up a little, Dan. Please?


----------



## Weeze

What about Gay FA's?


OH WAIT.


----------



## Fascinita

kayrae said:


> anyone need some hugs?



Only about ten million of them!

Starting............. NOW!  :wubu:


----------



## largenlovely

eh.. i hear the juice aint worth the squeeze *shrug* but whatever...

i don't know what that means..i'm just throwing it out there lol


----------



## exile in thighville

Fascinita said:


> Yeah, but you're being dogmatic (kudos to you, I have my own dogma) _completely_ at the expense of people's feelings. At some point, you have to realize you're dealing with people, dontcha? It's fine to raise Cain for the sake of making a point, but what *is* the point of talking down to individual people/antagonizing factions at large _ad infinitum_? Tone it down and break it up a little, Dan. Please?



yes, i tried to do this pages ago with a convo i posted and failed. calm, etc. some people think i'm an asshole or full of myself or whatever. carry on.


----------



## Tooz

I heard he gets pissed if you ignore him, guys.


----------



## mejix

mejix said:


> i feel oppressed. i need to be empowered. we need a place were we can share our FA feelings and talk about FA fashion and FA politics. sort of like an FA locker room where we can stand naked, emotionally, in front of each other and compare the size of our FA feelings.



i'm giving you gold people, _gold!_


----------



## mossystate

mejix said:


> i'm giving you gold people, _gold!_



I am still getting off on the images in my head of your naked, hairy emotions.

* snaps them with a towel *


drool


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Fascinita said:


> Ah, the old "get a life" defense. The last recourse of surly teens the world over.
> 
> Well, get a sense of humor!





I don't have a life......but luckily I have www.dictionary.com so I could find out the meanings of that hugeeee word....

Mes&#8901;si&#8901;ah
&#8194;
1. the promised and expected deliverer of the Jewish people.
2. Jesus Christ, regarded by Christians as fulfilling this promise and expectation. John 4:25, 26.
3. (usually lowercase) any expected deliverer.
4. (usually lowercase) a zealous leader of some cause or project.


You are wrong to compare him to hay-soos.....truly


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

mejix said:


> i'm giving you gold people, _gold!_



Only gold we need around here is pics of your arse :batting: :wubu:


----------



## FaxMachine1234

Not having read any of the previous posts (c'mon, it's 21 pages), I think there should be one; it'd be like Curvage without all the...photo-hording (hopefully), and if it's winning the poll then clearly there's a demand for it. I can see how some BBWs and BHMs might not love the idea of a board that specifically excludes them, but I'm sure people who didn't like feederism had reservations about the Weight Board yet it's still here (tho it might have always been here, I dunno).

We might need to revamp the Main Dimensions Board & Weight Board, though, since an FA board would undoubtedly be taking away threads from both that'd be there otherwise.


----------



## Les Toil

Sorry, but I have to laugh at the idea that we have a _fashion forum_ and a _foodee forum_, but FAs have to campaign to get a forum for themselves. It's just laughable.

And being apathetic towards the issues an FA faces in his everyday life is basically not much different than being apathetic towards the issues a fat person faces in theirs. 

When you're an FA, much of society looks upon you as someone with a "weird" and "abnormal" _fetish_. Before I was fortunate enough to earn an income from my art, I took temp jobs while attending art school. Believe me, it didn't take long for my anatomical preference to make its way throughout these work places. People would make comments. They'd be snide comments disguised as harmless remarks. "Wow Les. Look at that Equirer cover with the 600 lb woman. Is that your type?". And then you basically have long-time acquaintances that just start to become indifferent towards you by not inviting you and your new 300 lb girlfriend to Summer BarBQs at the lake or where ever. Fortunately as we get older, our fellow humans become less shallow and the issue of preferring the company of fat women is a bit more accepted (even though we all know the chit-chat still goes on behind our backs).

On the other hand a fat person is looked upon with such assumptions as "someone who likes to eat" or "has no will power". Yes, they're very much ridiculed by society on a non-stop and derisive basis, but they're still looked upon as considerably more "normal" than a person who's physically attracted to mainly fat people. Our mothers are fat. Our uncles are fat. Our post office employees are fat. Hell, Santa is fat. But the man who desires and lusts after the company of fat women is looked upon as a bit less "wholesome". The mind of an FA would be scrutinized much sooner on some tabloid exploitation talk show than the mindset of your average fat person.

I proudly voted for the existence of the FA Board.


----------



## hollyfo

mejix said:


> i'm giving you gold people, _gold!_



hahahaha.


----------



## Suze

susieQ , 26149, ace234, Afro Man, ak50, Al Diggy, Aqua Seafoam Shame, archivaltype, asterix, Aurora1, Aussie Jez, AussieDude, AZ_Wolf, B-Enhanced, bab531972, Babygirlneedsu, babyjeep21, badidea, bagugo, Bandy, base13, bbw2381, bbwfan1234, BBWGLORYFOXXX, BeaBea, BeckaBoo, bellyluver, bellyshaker, bexy, bfskjsf5244, BigBeautifulMe, bigboyuk, bigfan22, bigisland, Blackjack_Jeeves, BothGunsBlazing, Boumboum, BrianKnight, BTB, Buffie, calou, CAMellie, carlspackler, Carrie, cartmanka1, cashmoney12, Chachii, cheeseburrito, chink1234, chipman844, Chris Roberts, ClockworkOrange, cold comfort, Crater, Creme de Cassis, CurvyEm, d4n122l345h0, Daknee, Debbie.Dlite, DestinyBBW, diggers1917, dimand, DISPATCHER1673, divad40k, DocSavage57, dragonforce91, drxprime, duckingreficulous, dudeman855, dyne304, eeveeblaze, Ekim, Ella Bella, Elminster, Esther, Evil Dolly, exile in thighville, Famouslastwords, fanofdimensions, Fascinita, fatboy1004, FatGirl_18, fattenmeup, Flabrat, forced into delurking, free2beme04, Fuzzy Necromancer, Fuzzy&#272;uck, gandomkar, gary_ohlson2000, Genarose54, Georgke, Ghostly-Spectre, gnoom, Goddess Patty Bombshell, goodthings, goofy girl, grae0001, Green Eyed Fairy, Greg the Hero, groscochon, Gypsy SSBBW, Hajo, halmoatsympatico.ca, happyfallow, harry21, Haunted, Heavy_Cream, hgee, hollyfo, hpg1701, ilovebiggirls2, Imp, inspekter, interesting monster, intraultra, jac1974kra, James, JammayKimani, jamyjam224, Jane, jantestus, jay kratos, JayRay25, jecniceguy, JennyRiot, jewels_mystery, JillyBee, JMNYC, joe0111, JoeFusco, JoeVanHalen, johnnny2005, JohnWylde, Joker13, Jon Blaze, jonah-uk, jrs15143, kabe200050259, katorade, Keb, kinkykitten, klepseiker, krakenpolar, krismiss, kurious, largenlovely, laterdater, *Leonardo_Da_Vinchi*, Les Toil, liatbesher, lighted9, lostjacket, lovesflab, ltdjws, Lucky, lucky casner, luscious_lulu, luv_lovehandles, Mallrat, marcelomartinelli, Markt, maverick09, mcshazbot, md1166, mdf, mejix, Melian, Metsgo, me_uk_2k1, MickeyFFA, mikael, Mikey, mikey787, Mishty, Miss Vickie, missdelish, MisticalMisty, moore2me, moose, mszwebs, mtothec223, MuleVariationsNYC, Murphy, MWBBWFanMan, mybluice, MzIndyRonda, nainz242, natasfan, natro220, Naturalist Phil, Neeseakgani, nikpug, None, NORSEBELL, nst19742003, Nutellan, Oirish, olwen, OneWickedAngel, outroducin, paindyApenind, palndrm, PamelaLois, panhype, Parka, Pat, phatfatgirl, Pixelpops, plumplin3009, plumpmygut, Poncedeleon, poolman, poopman, ppgislas, propertius, QueenB, QuickFL, randomFA, Reggiano, RentonBob, reppp, Rich P, Richard1955, Risible, RKC, RockVolnut, rocky222555, Rowan, RVGleason, rwilson23, S13Drifter, sackatt, Saverus, Scotchy, scott b, sean7, Seiger23, sergeantikarla, shelly220, Sid, skinnyman44, SlugClub, Smite, Smushygirl, someoldgeezer, Speak, Spinalcombo, spyder_moto, ssbbwlover, ssbbw_lovers, succubus_dxb, sully57, supersarge, supersonicgsxr, supersonicsuper, tabbahenry, TallFatSue, Tania, The Orange Mage, theprof, thesoulbook, THRDS, tlustoprd, tommcgee, tommiboy, Tooz, totalFA, Totmacher, totretat, TraciJo67, Traveller, treaclebelle, Trinkan, truksartus, TXKW, Tyrael, vaikman, Victim, vinger, Wagimawr, wally1001, wambo121, Wantabelly, wastedpaint, waynelampard, Webmaster, whatup995, Wild Zero, William, Wilson Barbers, WingFA, wrestlingguy, xealer, xkonstantinex, youngnintogaining, yourpersonalpenguin, yulfa, zanza


-----

you know what's funny? he totally spelled that wrong.

k' carry on


----------



## FaxMachine1234

Oh and also just to add, I don't think an FA board should be locked. I can kind of see it for the SSBBW board, but the FA board that I'm thinking of should just be themed for them, not exclusively for them to look at and post on. Again, Curvage works similarly and besides the photo-stealing, that seems to work out quite well.


----------



## troubadours

can someone please tell me what is a fa?


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I dunno........I don't spend a lot of time down on the fashion board....and with the exception of one subscribed thread on the foodee board, I'm not there too much either. However..........how in heck is that an inferred BBW board?????
There are men all over the foodee board....and if men want to talk fashion, they are welcome to, as well.
That being said, what does food or fashion have to do with the problems fat people face????????? Sure it might be helpful to some to be able to ask where to get size XYZ and for a good price....but seriously...is that ALL there is to being a woman? Do people really MISUNDERSTAND us that badly???
Hell, that statement alone showed the need for a separate BBW board if the menfolk honestly just see us as creatures who only eat and shop. :doh:


Oh my gawd.........


----------



## Tooz

Les Toil said:


> Yes, they're very much ridiculed by society on a non-stop and derisive basis, but they're still looked upon as considerably more "normal" than a person who's physically attracted to mainly fat people.



No, no they aren't.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Tooz said:


> No, no they aren't.



Yeah....how would he know that to sound so sure?


----------



## Paquito

Les Toil said:


> Yes, they're very much ridiculed by society on a non-stop and derisive basis, but they're still looked upon as considerably more "normal" than a person who's physically attracted to mainly fat people.



Erm, last time I checked, us FAs don't have a physical manifestation of our desires that everyone can see and judge. The only way they know you have an attraction for fat people is if the evidence is in front of their eyes (as in a fat SO or clothing with a statement along the lines of "I <3 fat chicks).

Maybe I've been living under a rock, but the last time I saw an F/FA ridiculed by strangers, gawd at, and be treated like a second class citizen, was...never...


----------



## Fascinita

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Hell, that statement alone showed the need for a separate BBW board if the menfolk honestly just see us as creatures who only eat and shop. :doh:
> 
> 
> Oh my gawd.........



lol I will join you in a big, "Oh, my gawd" :doh:!!

My grandmother used to say, "A man who only wants a woman to eat and shop is a man with a veeeeeery fat wallet." :bow:

I think those days are gone, whether we like it or not.


----------



## wrestlingguy

Les Toil said:


> Sorry, but I have to laugh at the idea that we have a _fashion forum_ and a _foodee forum_, but FAs have to campaign to get a forum for themselves. It's just laughable.
> 
> And being apathetic towards the issues an FA faces in his everyday life is basically not much different than being apathetic towards the issues a fat person faces in theirs.
> 
> When you're an FA, much of society looks upon you as someone with a "weird" and "abnormal" _fetish_. Before I was fortunate enough to earn an income from my art, I took temp jobs while attending art school. Believe me, it didn't take long for my anatomical preference to make its way throughout these work places. People would make comments. They'd be snide comments disguised as harmless remarks. "Wow Les. Look at that Equirer cover with the 600 lb woman. Is that your type?". And then you basically have long-time acquaintances that just start to become indifferent towards you by not inviting you and your new 300 lb girlfriend to Summer BarBQs at the lake or where ever. Fortunately as we get older, our fellow humans become less shallow and the issue of preferring the company of fat women is a bit more accepted (even though we all know the chit-chat still goes on behind our backs).
> 
> On the other hand a fat person is looked upon with such assumptions as "someone who likes to eat" or "has no will power". Yes, they're very much ridiculed by society on a non-stop and derisive basis, but they're still looked upon as considerably more "normal" than a person who's physically attracted to mainly fat people. Our mothers are fat. Our uncles are fat. Our post office employees are fat. Hell, Santa is fat. But the man who desires and lusts after the company of fat women is looked upon as a bit less "wholesome". The mind of an FA would be scrutinized much sooner on some tabloid exploitation talk show than the mindset of your average fat person.
> 
> I proudly voted for the existence of the FA Board.



Les, maybe I'm in a minority, but as a FA, someone who cooks, and has a wife who is always looking for clothing that fits, i LIKE the fashion & foodie boards. I also think they serve a purpose, as for those who don't want to read about food and fashion, who would have to sort through those posts if relegated to the Main Board or Weight Board.

Your post, as well as mine and most others in this thread, to me are proof that FA's can intelligently discuss FA issues in an open forum with "wimmin" in a respectful manner, without fear of reprisal, or without said BBW's feeling that we're leaving them out.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Fascinita said:


> lol I will join you in a big, "Oh, my gawd" :doh:!!
> 
> My grandmother used to say, "A man who only wants a woman to eat and shop is a man with a veeeeeery fat wallet." :bow:
> 
> I think those days are gone, whether we like it or not.



I think I have made it quite clear what I prefer for a man to have that's big 



free2beme04 said:


> Erm, last time I checked, us FAs don't have a physical manifestation of our desires that everyone can see and judge. The only way they know you have an attraction for fat people is if the evidence is in front of their eyes (as in a fat SO or clothing with a statement along the lines of "I <3 fat chicks).
> 
> Maybe I've been living under a rock, but the last time I saw an F/FA ridiculed by strangers, gawd at, and be treated like a second class citizen, was...never...




Didn't you know that you're my hero? :wubu: :kiss2:


----------



## mossystate

" Very much ridiculed by society on a non-stop and derisive basis, but they're still looked upon as considerably more "normal" than a person who's physically attracted to mainly fat people. "

Because there are lots of us, only means.....that. 

Adding that ' but ' after admitting that fat people are degraded all the damned time........amazing.....truly.....amazing.


:huh:

I was going to give LT the benefit of the doubt and take what he said about other boards formed before an fa board, as saying that more lighthearted forums get started before the meat and tater forums....but....he chose the very two boards that are stereotypically attractive to women. Never mentioned HP, did he. Jaysus. Way to pretty much slap fat chicks at every turn. Now, back to my pink ghettos!....* blush * *L*


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

wrestlingguy said:


> Les, maybe I'm in a minority, but as a FA, someone who cooks, and has a wife who is always looking for clothing that fits, i LIKE the fashion & foodie boards. I also think they serve a purpose, as for those who don't want to read about food and fashion, who would have to sort through those posts if relegated to the Main Board or Weight Board.
> 
> Your post, as well as mine and most others in this thread, to me are proof that FA's can intelligently discuss FA issues in an open forum with "wimmin" in a respectful manner, without fear of reprisal, or without said BBW's feeling that we're leaving them out.



You're my other hero......


----------



## TotallyReal

troubadours said:


> can someone please tell me what is a fa?



F.A.s are fucking monsters and do not deserve a place to talk. P.M. me if you want to argue. I will destroy you with logoic


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

mossystate said:


> " Very much ridiculed by society on a non-stop and derisive basis, but they're still looked upon as considerably more "normal" than a person who's physically attracted to mainly fat people. "
> 
> Because there are lots of us, only means.....that.
> 
> Adding that ' but ' after admitting that fat people are degraded all the damned time........amazing.....truly.....amazing.
> 
> 
> :huh:
> 
> I was going to give LT the benefit of the doubt and take what he said about other boards formed before an fa board, as saying that more lighthearted forums get started before the meat and tater forums....but....he chose the very two boards that are stereotypically attractive to women. Never mentioned HP, did he. Jaysus. Way to pretty much slap fat chicks at every turn. Now, back to my pink ghettos!....* blush * *L*



And I just want you..........like all the time..........:batting:


----------



## Fascinita

People of Earth! Your alien masters have landed. Prepare to be subjugated with telekinesis and the smallest, most indelible of finger movement.s Haeeeeeeeeeeeeee-YAH!


----------



## FaxMachine1234

troubadours said:


> can someone please tell me what is a fa?



I think they are explorers from Far Away lands, which is why they need a board to help them get acclimated. It's a public service, really.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Fascinita said:


> People of Earth! Your alien masters have landed. Prepare to be subjugated with telekinesis and the smallest, most indelible of finger movement.s Haeeeeeeeeeeeeee-YAH!




Small...........fingers have no place here


----------



## exile in thighville

mossystate said:


> " Very much ridiculed by society on a non-stop and derisive basis, but they're still looked upon as considerably more "normal" than a person who's physically attracted to mainly fat people. "
> 
> Because there are lots of us, only means.....that.
> 
> Adding that ' but ' after admitting that fat people are degraded all the damned time........amazing.....truly.....amazing.
> 
> 
> :huh:
> 
> I was going to give LT the benefit of the doubt and take what he said about other boards formed before an fa board, as saying that more lighthearted forums get started before the meat and tater forums....but....he chose the very two boards that are stereotypically attractive to women. Never mentioned HP, did he. Jaysus. Way to pretty much slap fat chicks at every turn. Now, back to my pink ghettos!....* blush * *L*





Tooz said:


> No, no they aren't.



i approached this thread all wrong from post one, even for me, and i admit it. spent too long trying to be funny and defensive and lost sight of what i was doing here and dragged it out really poorly. i'm not crying with my tail between my legs about it, but i made a mistake. not my finest moment. what have you.

the above posts make me angry all over again. here's the articulate jokes-aside version. this is fat acceptance; do you want pity or respect? is playing the game of who has it worst really your goal? this is the only thing that turns my stomach, the exploitation of one's struggles for...what, the stanley cup? it's not a competition. there's always going to be someone less fortunate than yourself. acting like the world owes you won't make the world care, and if your goal as a fat person is to make yourself the most pitiable person in the room, then you're doing what the anti-fat world expects you to do.

fas, like other humans, have problems that may or may not pale to those of actual fat folks. what matters is that voices relevant to the community have spoken here and feel they need a different microphone and you can either scoff at that request or respect it. but expect to be respected as such in return.

posts like the above ask for double standards. be reasonable.

lt's post was great.


----------



## Les Toil

Tooz said:


> No, no they aren't.



Yes, yes they are.

Between an FA and a fat person, who would be more apt to have their own talk show and make movies and be beloved and admired and an inspiration to millions?

Wait! That's already been answer! There's been Oprah, Carnie, Roseanne, Rosie...


----------



## Les Toil

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Yeah....how would he know that to sound so sure?



What's funny is you're responding to a woman who sounded more sure and factual about her point than I did. LOL


----------



## Tooz

Les Toil said:


> Yes, yes they are.
> 
> Between an FA and a fat person, who would be more apt to have their own talk show and make movies and be beloved and admired and an inspiration to millions?
> 
> Wait! That's already been answer! There's been Oprah, Carnie, Roseanne, Rosie...



I'm hardly sitting here asking for pity, but these women were applauded when they LOST weight. Fat women can be invisible, or pariahs. A lot of them end up completely desexualized, as well. I don't deny that FAs can have trouble, but it's just not on the same scale as existing in a fat body. Period. If FAs get a board where they can whine, I think fat women/BBWs/BHMs should get one where they can whine, too.


----------



## wrestlingguy

Les Toil said:


> Yes, yes they are.
> 
> Between an FA and a fat person, who would be more apt to have their own talk show and make movies and be beloved and admired and an inspiration to millions?
> 
> Wait! That's already been answer! There's been Oprah, Carnie, Roseanne, Rosie...



And FA's have John Cena, and Judge Mathis, and Pierce Brosnan..........

I'm tryin' to see it your way, Les, but I can't (yet).


----------



## Les Toil

free2beme04 said:


> Maybe I've been living under a rock, but the last time I saw an F/FA ridiculed by strangers, gawd at, and be treated like a second class citizen, was...never...



If I said I can't think of the last time I've see a fat person ridiculed in public and treated like a freak with a twisted sexual fetish it would probably sound just as naive as your above quote.

There's no way I'll ever go on record saying fat people aren't among THEE most ridiculed humans on the planet, I'm just saying it's asinine to even remotely infer FAs have no reason to have a forum of their own to bond and discuss things they've dealt with in life.


----------



## Les Toil

wrestlingguy said:


> Les, maybe I'm in a minority, but as a FA, someone who cooks, and has a wife who is always looking for clothing that fits, i LIKE the fashion & foodie boards.



Oh, me too!  I was the one who suggested we have a gardening forum here too. 



wrestlingguy said:


> Your post, as well as mine and most others in this thread, to me are proof that FA's can intelligently discuss FA issues in an open forum with "wimmin" in a respectful manner, without fear of reprisal, or without said BBW's feeling that we're leaving them out.



I agree. I just know there's some younger FAs that are coming to terms with their romantic interests and the judgmental comments and actions from their friends and family that come with those interests. And a number of the ones that have aired those issues here have been met with a few responses like "Oh buck it up! You think YOU have problems!" which may move that young FA to never air those personal issues here again.


----------



## Les Toil

mossystate said:


> but....he chose the very two boards that are stereotypically attractive to women.



LMFAO!!! I never know if you're joking or serious Mossy. If you're serious, then from here on, I'm going to deem you the Al Sharpton of the feminists.


----------



## mossystate

exile in thighville said:


> i approached this thread all wrong from post one, even for me, and i admit it. spent too long trying to be funny and defensive and lost sight of what i was doing here and dragged it out really poorly. i'm not crying with my tail between my legs about it, but i made a mistake. not my finest moment. what have you.
> 
> the above posts make me angry all over again. here's the articulate jokes-aside version. this is fat acceptance; do you want pity or respect? is playing the game of who has it worst really your goal? this is the only thing that turns my stomach, the exploitation of one's struggles for...what, the stanley cup? it's not a competition. there's always going to be someone less fortunate than yourself. acting like the world owes you won't make the world care, and if your goal as a fat person is to make yourself the most pitiable person in the room, then you're doing what the anti-fat world expects you to do.
> 
> fas, like other humans, have problems that may or may not pale to those of actual fat folks. what matters is that voices relevant to the community have spoken here and feel they need a different microphone and you can either scoff at that request or respect it. but expect to be respected as such in return.
> 
> posts like the above ask for double standards. be reasonable.
> 
> lt's post was great.




Dude...may I call you, dude?

I am not keeping score of who has it worse. Fat people have it worse. Period.

HOWEVER..and as I have already stated....the group that does not have it worse, still has issues...and those issues are real...very....very....real. Phew. There, I have said it again.

When I say that fat people have it worse, I am not on the floor like hundreds of pounds of ground round. It is just a simple fact. Now, once that is noted and not dismissed by FA's...THEN the real work can be done. You have to acknowledge, in a real way, the truth. I am NOT dismissing FA's and any struggle. I see much more of that from the other ' side '. Being on this ' side ', that is breathtaking, as one of the words in a certain label is......admirer.

I...me....moi....have simply asked that if there is to be an FA board, that fat women also be given a protected place. That's all. I don't like ANY person feeling that gut wrenching sense of shame or fear. If you say you don't want people to ' compete ' for who has it worse, then be a voice for all...not just some. Telling the gals ( I know you didn't say this ) that we have the clothing and the foooooood boards......come on....dudes. That is not a great thing to dismiss the fats out here like that.


Dudes! Your slips are showing....and I ain't stupid.


----------



## exile in thighville

mossystate said:


> It is just a simple fact. Now, once that is noted and not dismissed by FA's...THEN the real work can be done.



are you really saying that when you have the universal unchallenged collective pity of our rare breed that has a higher chance of being sexually attracted to you than other people, that's when people will respect you?


----------



## FaxMachine1234

*sidestepping the whole Exile argument which I didn't even realize existed until I went back and reread the whole damn thread*

After 23 pages of reading, I'm still convinced that FAs need their own discussion board (though whether it should be locked or just make it so non-FAs are discouraged from dropping in), and I'm more than a bit troubled by what I've read from a couple of the (admittedly all female BBW) posters here. The majority of the conversation that actually pertained to the topic at hand was mostly respectful, but then you have female posters labeling FAs as, at best, whiners and at worst sexual predators and guys who beat their partners. I'm sure this sort of talk is fine amongst a group of women who are dishing about bad experiences, but this is a co-ed group here and many male FAs who are being sterotyped belong to this board and have visited this thread. And the fact that someone even suggested that a proposed forum for guys needed a female chaperone just to make sure they weren't throwing around sexist slurs is incredibly insulting to the many posters here who have behaved as perfect gentlemen (I'll exclude myself since some people are still ticked at me about the Hyde Park debacle, I'm sure).

I myself am not taking this very personally since I'm not a straight-up FA (I'm that mixed with my own gaining feelings which have left me very confused for quite awhile now), but I am a guy and I know what it's like to not have girls understand you. I've made great strides in creating solid relationships with female friends IRL (though I haven't told any of them about this), but many guys haven't and so they have issues. Perhaps they'd like to discuss them, and maybe they don't want the subjects of those issues listening in on them when they vent; in many cases it'd be the opposite of helpful to be having a woman "judging" you based on what you say. Is airing out private issues "sexist" just because women aren't invited? I say no, just like how I'd imagine FFAs would get more out of a conversation on their attraction to large men by talking to fellow women then having those same men drop in on the conversation just to "give their perspective". We already have two main boards where everybody can chime in; they don't need to all be like that. And can we just declare a moratorium on insulting closeted FAs? The idea that they don't reveal their fetish because they're ashamed is just as bad as if you said it about gay people not coming out of the closet.

Overall, my feelings on Dimensions concerning FAs are this (and again I'm not talking about the argument about Exile in Thighville): if you don't want their business, don't ask them for it, and don't tell they're perverts once they get there. I know most of this doesn't apply to most of the posters in this thread, but I was just astonished there wasn't more of a response to the whole issue.




MsSasha said:


> They aren't going to be in there shit talking us girls. Which seems to be what some people are thinking. I'm trying to look at it from the point of view that the SSBBWs have the SSBBW issues board to talk about the obvious. SSBBW issues. FA/FFA's have difficulties as well. Maybe not physically but with other issues. What's wrong with them wanting a place to talk about this without jaded women coming in and saying what they are saying and doing is wrong? And, that apparently no one changes. It's these accusations and
> biased comments that will scare away any FA/FFAs looking to feel better about themselves.



Exactly


----------



## mossystate

exile in thighville said:


> are you really saying that when you have the universal unchallenged collective pity of our rare breed that has a higher chance of being sexually attracted to you than other people, that's when people will respect you?



It's not pity......it's like looking at any other issue...subject...whatever...and understanding some truths. If ' you ' go about trying to understand, without the basic acknowledging....shit gets even more fucked up. No matter that you are a more rare breed...does not mean that I will not look at myself as deserving less than any other breed. There is a sniff of a tone in that question that says that the word grateful should cross my mind. I am really saying something very simple, that does not take anything away from what you experience.


----------



## exile in thighville

ekim, for what it's worth, everything you said is pretty much OTM what i would've preferred to articulate with a level head and a scotch, rather than sulking about semantics for 21 pages


----------



## Les Toil

Tooz said:


> If FAs get a board where they can whine, I think fat women/BBWs/BHMs should get one where they can whine, too.



Absolutely amazing. 

For the dozen years I've been hanging out here at Dimensions this has been considered a place where people of size and those people that love and respect them can vent their anger, frustration, sadness and triumphs of living in a fatphobic society. Be it needing a shoulder to cry on when some jackass just called someone a disgusting name in the supermarket or wanting to protest the lack of visibility of fat folks in certain social arenas, never ever EVER would ANY member of this community label such ventings as "whining". 

And Tooz, if you haven't discovered it already, the Main Board is a place where women/BBWs/BHMs can air their frustrations (or "whining" as you've labeled it) with our bigoted society.

And go ahead and find hidden clandestine sexist messages in the way I capitalize certain words and use a certain distinctive number of words in each paragraph.

What? No reps or "I love you's" to me?


----------



## exile in thighville

mossystate said:


> It's not pity......it's like looking at any other issue...subject...whatever...and understanding some truths. If ' you ' go about trying to understand, without the basic acknowledging....shit gets even more fucked up. No matter that you are a more rare breed...does not mean that I will not look at myself as deserving less than any other breed. There is a sniff of a tone in that question that says that the word grateful should cross my mind. I am really saying something very simple, that does not take anything away from what you experience.



that sniff is all in your head, and that's the problem. no one said anything about "less deserving" except...that fas are "less deserving" of their own forum in fact. the word was "whining" if i recall.


----------



## TotallyReal




----------



## mossystate

Ekim said:


> The majority of the conversation that actually pertained to the topic at hand was mostly respectful, but then you have female posters labeling FAs as, at best, whiners and at worst sexual predators and guys who beat their partners.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> My dear, good lord if you want to start in on who is called what names. Check out my signature. That's not even all of them.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'm sure this sort of talk is fine amongst a group of women who are dishing about bad experiences, but this is a co-ed group here and many male FAs who are being sterotyped belong to this board and have visited this thread.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Yeah...women dish...men discuss. And, if you roll your eyes over my taking note of that, then think about the need for separate safe places for both...or neither.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And the fact that someone even suggested that a proposed forum for guys needed a female chaperone just to make sure they weren't throwing around sexist slurs is incredibly insulting to the many posters here who have behaved as perfect gentlemen (I'll exclude myself since some people are still ticked at me about the Hyde Park debacle, I'm sure).
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I do not think any protected forum needs to have an ' opposite ' mod. I agree that is silly. Now, as you seem to not see the many very derrogatory slurs pitched at women, I would maybe pull back a lil bit on the perfect gentleman label...as you had no problem pointing out the evil that women say and do.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Perhaps they'd like to discuss them, and maybe they don't want the subjects of those issues listening in on them when they vent;
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> We already have two main boards where everybody can chime in; they don't need to all be like that.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Ah...women are ' everybody else '. Ok. How about if we just have a protected place for women, not men. You guys can have the two main boards, open to .....everybody.
Click to expand...


----------



## Tooz

Les Toil said:


> Absolutely amazing.
> 
> For the dozen years I've been hanging out here at Dimensions this has been considered a place where people of size and those people that love and respect them can vent their anger, frustration, sadness and triumphs of living in a fatphobic society. Be it needing a shoulder to cry on when some jackass just called someone a disgusting name in the supermarket or wanting to protest the lack of visibility of fat folks in certain social arenas, never ever EVER would ANY member of this community label such ventings as "whining".
> 
> And Tooz, if you haven't discovered it already, the Main Board is a place where women/BBWs/BHMs can air their frustrations (or "whining" as you've labeled it) with our bigoted society.
> 
> And go ahead and find hidden clandestine sexist messages in the way I capitalize certain words and use a certain distinctive number of words in each paragraph.
> 
> What? No reps or "I love you's" to me?



Good LORD dude, calm down. I was trying to lighten the tone (poking fun at my own pool of people as well to show I didn't think I wasn't without faults) of what I was saying to you to show you I didn't want to knock horns with you, because I respect you and I was worried we were on our way down Bad Blood BLVD. Look at what I say, my opinions and such on this board. Do you honestly think I truly consider it whining?

Fucking FORGET it.


----------



## mossystate

exile in thighville said:


> that sniff is all in your head, and that's the problem. no one said anything about "less deserving" except...that fas are "less deserving" of their own forum in fact. the word was "whining" if i recall.



No, the sniff came from your actual words. You might be a rarer breed...does not mean what I want in life is any different than any normal human being.


----------



## kayrae

OK, whoever needs a hug. Get in line. :smitten:


----------



## mossystate

" the Main Board is a place where women/BBWs/BHMs can air their frustrations (or "whining" as you've labeled it) with our bigoted society. "


:doh:

When women vent, you never see FA's come around to tell them that what they are feeling is not as real as they think? How is the Main Board a protected place? Am I missing something? Sometimes a woman does not want to be schooled...any more than a man wants to be schooled. Ya know?


----------



## Les Toil

mossystate said:


> Telling the gals ( I know you didn't say this ) that we have the clothing and the foooooood boards......come on....dudes. That is not a great thing to dismiss the fats out here like that.
> 
> 
> Dudes! Your slips are showing....and I ain't stupid.



No, you're not stupid, you're just troubled.

What's happening in your personal life that would have you searching so deep for sexist actions from the men here, Mossy? You've been doing this for a considerable amount of time here on Dimensions. Some of the accusations you've made here are mind-reeling. You invent sex wars where their wasn't even the smallest indication of any. You add terms like "telling us gals" as a way of kick-starting a dispute that really doesn't need to go there. If you're claiming food is largely a women's topic, that's an opinion *you* have to hold within yourself and not use it as a tactic to absurdly make accusations of sexism. In all truth, if I was a woman I may take issue with you deeming it a woman's topic. 

You're the absolute worst kind of person a public forum could ever want to have as a member. When an intelligent and fair discussion is going on, you'll find it your duty to disrupt it by sussing out even the most miniscule implications of intolerance and blowing it to the size of a mountain. 

Again, what injustices are happening in your personal life that would drive you to want to come here to make such disruptive actions a favorite past time? Such behavior isn't healthy to you or anyone in your path.


----------



## MisticalMisty

Ekim said:


> *sidestepping the whole Exile argument which I didn't even realize existed until I went back and reread the whole damn thread*
> 
> After 23 pages of reading, I'm still convinced that FAs need their own discussion board (though whether it should be locked or just make it so non-FAs are discouraged from dropping in), and I'm more than a bit troubled by what I've read from a couple of the (admittedly all female BBW) posters here. The majority of the conversation that actually pertained to the topic at hand was mostly respectful, but then you have female posters labeling FAs as, at best, whiners and at worst sexual predators and guys who beat their partners. I'm sure this sort of talk is fine amongst a group of women who are dishing about bad experiences, but this is a co-ed group here and many male FAs who are being sterotyped belong to this board and have visited this thread. And the fact that someone even suggested that a proposed forum for guys needed a female chaperone just to make sure they weren't throwing around sexist slurs is incredibly insulting to the many posters here who have behaved as perfect gentlemen (I'll exclude myself since some people are still ticked at me about the Hyde Park debacle, I'm sure).
> 
> I myself am not taking this very personally since I'm not a straight-up FA (I'm that mixed with my own gaining feelings which have left me very confused for quite awhile now), but I am a guy and I know what it's like to not have girls understand you. I've made great strides in creating solid relationships with female friends IRL (though I haven't told any of them about this), but many guys haven't and so they have issues. Perhaps they'd like to discuss them, and maybe they don't want the subjects of those issues listening in on them when they vent; in many cases it'd be the opposite of helpful to be having a woman "judging" you based on what you say. Is airing out private issues "sexist" just because women aren't invited? I say no, just like how I'd imagine FFAs would get more out of a conversation on their attraction to large men by talking to fellow women then having those same men drop in on the conversation just to "give their perspective". We already have two main boards where everybody can chime in; they don't need to all be like that. And can we just declare a moratorium on insulting closeted FAs? The idea that they don't reveal their fetish because they're ashamed is just as bad as if you said it about gay people not coming out of the closet.
> 
> Overall, my feelings on Dimensions concerning FAs are this (and again I'm not talking about the argument about Exile in Thighville): if you don't want their business, don't ask them for it, and don't tell they're perverts once they get there. I know most of this doesn't apply to most of the posters in this thread, but I was just astonished there wasn't more of a response to the whole issue.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Exactly



This is a great post.


----------



## Les Toil

Tooz said:


> Fucking FORGET it.



Sincerest apologies Tooz. I very much misunderstood. There were other comments by others about FAs needing a forum to be "coddled" and I guess I was addressing them as much as I thought I was addressing your post (which I totally misread).

Again, apologies Tooz.


----------



## MisticalMisty

Les Toil said:


> No, you're not stupid, you're just troubled.
> 
> What's happening in your personal life that would have you searching so deep for sexist actions from the men here, Mossy? You've been doing this for a considerable amount of time here on Dimensions. Some of the accusations you've made here are mind-reeling. You invent sex wars where their wasn't even the smallest indication of any. You add terms like "telling us gals" as a way of kick-starting a dispute that really doesn't need to go there. *If you're claiming food is largely a women's topic, that's an opinion you have to hold within yourself and not use it as a tactic to absurdly make accusations of sexism. *In all truth, if I was a woman I may take issue with you deeming it a woman's topic.
> 
> You're the absolute worst kind of person a public forum could ever want to have as a member. When an intelligent and fair discussion is going on, you'll find it your duty to disrupt it by sussing out even the most miniscule implications of intolerance and blowing it to the size of a mountain.
> 
> Again, what injustices are happening in your personal life that would drive you to want to come here to make such disruptive actions a favorite past time? Such behavior isn't healthy to you or anyone in your path.



The bolded emphasis is mine..Les, just a page back YOU'RE the one who said that there was the fashion board and the food board for the women. That's where the sexism came into play.

I'm not touching the rest of this post. I'm...stunned to say the least.


----------



## Carl1h

I voted for having an FA/FFA board. It has no bearing on what I need or want for myself. It's a gesture of respect to people with whom I share common cause. In the same way that I expect my partner to understand my frailties and needs I expect to understand my partner's frailties and needs, and it does not detract from me to do so.

There is no cost to me for having an FA/FFA board. What real cost there is, is for Conrad to weigh. I'm not worried about slippery slopes or balkanization or even if such a board fails at all. People that I respect and care about have made an earnest request for this thing, if it were a bowl of ice cream I would get up and get it for them myself because I feel like it is a courtesy they have earned. It turns out that this ice cream isn't in my freezer so I can't go get it, all I can do is place my vote.

Yes on the FA/FFA board and if Conrad is ever in my neck of the woods, the ice cream, Sir, is on me.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Les Toil said:


> What's funny is you're responding to a woman who sounded more sure and factual about her point than I did. LOL



I agree with her......and what you said wasn't very funny at all. 



Les Toil said:


> If I said I can't think of the last time I've see a fat person ridiculed in public and treated like a freak with a twisted sexual fetish it would probably sound just as naive as your above quote.
> 
> There's no way I'll ever go on record saying fat people aren't among THEE most ridiculed humans on the planet, I'm just saying it's asinine to even remotely infer FAs have no reason to have a forum of their own to bond and discuss things they've dealt with in life.



So you are upset that someone called your preference a twisted fetish? You're not upset that someone called your partner a thing that only a twisted fetishist could like? 

But you think it's ridiculous that the most ridiculed people on the planet should have their own place to go to talk about being the most ridiculed people on the planet? 
That perhaps the most ridiculed group on the planet doesn't want to get blown off as having a fashion and food board to console themselves with? That was just wrong to say that Les....just flat out wrong. 



Les Toil said:


> No, you're not stupid, you're just troubled.
> 
> What's happening in your personal life that would have you searching so deep for sexist actions from the men here, Mossy? You've been doing this for a considerable amount of time here on Dimensions. Some of the accusations you've made here are mind-reeling. You invent sex wars where their wasn't even the smallest indication of any. You add terms like "telling us gals" as a way of kick-starting a dispute that really doesn't need to go there. If you're claiming food is largely a women's topic, that's an opinion *you* have to hold within yourself and not use it as a tactic to absurdly make accusations of sexism. In all truth, if I was a woman I may take issue with you deeming it a woman's topic.
> 
> You're the absolute worst kind of person a public forum could ever want to have as a member. When an intelligent and fair discussion is going on, you'll find it your duty to disrupt it by sussing out even the most miniscule implications of intolerance and blowing it to the size of a mountain.
> 
> Again, what injustices are happening in your personal life that would drive you to want to come here to make such disruptive actions a favorite past time? Such behavior isn't healthy to you or anyone in your path.




Les....I really like you but......I have to call you out on that really bad comment about "BBWs having the fashion and food boards" ..... are you jealous of that? We have a fashion board so stfu and move along? 

That really is a biased comment. Soooo what about the weight board? What about the paysite board? Are those for BBWs, too? I mean we can gaze at paysite girls and see what clothes to wear? 

I'm astounded....you usually do much better than this Les...even when angry.


----------



## FaxMachine1234

mossystate said:


> Ekim said:
> 
> 
> 
> My dear, good lord if you want to start in on who is called what names. Check out my signature. That's not even all of them.
> 
> Yeah...women dish...men discuss. And, if you roll your eyes over my taking note of that, then think about the need for separate safe places for both...or neither.
> 
> I do not think any protected forum needs to have an ' opposite ' mod. I agree that is silly. Now, as you seem to not see the many very derrogatory slurs pitched at women, I would maybe pull back a lil bit on the perfect gentleman label...as you had no problem pointing out the evil that women say and do.
> 
> Ah...women are ' everybody else '. Ok. How about if we just have a protected place for women, not men. You guys can have the two main boards, open to .....everybody.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Please point to a regular poster on this board who's called you or any of the women here by the names that are in your sig. I've been here for years and haven't seen that kind of behavior by anybody, even the most ignorant of people who come here only because they were lured by the Paysite and Weight boards.
> 
> I do not think women do "evil"; I'm commenting on literally two or three posters here (they're just quite vocal), and what they said is objectively offensive. Guys who are jerks need to be taken down a peg, but insulting all of the men who come here is not remotely the same thing.
> 
> And I know this is not my place (and this has been debated to death), but I still don't understand why smaller BBWs aren't allowed into the SSBBW forum, which serves a great purpose in providing private discussion for specific issues these women face. I get that you guys don't want size 8s complaining about gaining 5 lbs. waltzing right in there, but what is the recourse for a girl who is, say, 280-350 and has private issues concerning her size? The idea that anyone smaller than "supersize" would be ruining the discussion or causing some kind of breach in trust among that group seems absurd.
> 
> 
> 
> Les Toil said:
> 
> 
> 
> You add terms like "telling us gals" as a way of kick-starting a dispute that really doesn't need to go there.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Yeah this bugs me too, though mossystate is far from the only poster here to indulge in it.
Click to expand...


----------



## Weeze

Les Toil said:


> Yes, yes they are.
> 
> Between an FA and a fat person, who would be more apt to have their own talk show and make movies and be beloved and admired and an inspiration to millions?
> 
> Wait! That's already been answer! There's been Oprah, Carnie, Roseanne, Rosie...




DON'T YOU DARE lump ROSIE with us!!!


----------



## Wayne_Zitkus

susieQ said:


> susieQ , 26149, ace234, Afro Man, ak50, Al Diggy, Aqua Seafoam Shame, archivaltype, asterix, Aurora1, Aussie Jez, AussieDude, AZ_Wolf, B-Enhanced, bab531972, Babygirlneedsu, babyjeep21, badidea, bagugo, Bandy, base13, bbw2381, bbwfan1234, BBWGLORYFOXXX, BeaBea, BeckaBoo, bellyluver, bellyshaker, bexy, bfskjsf5244, BigBeautifulMe, bigboyuk, bigfan22, bigisland, Blackjack_Jeeves, BothGunsBlazing, Boumboum, BrianKnight, BTB, Buffie, calou, CAMellie, carlspackler, Carrie, cartmanka1, cashmoney12, Chachii, cheeseburrito, chink1234, chipman844, Chris Roberts, ClockworkOrange, cold comfort, Crater, Creme de Cassis, CurvyEm, d4n122l345h0, Daknee, Debbie.Dlite, DestinyBBW, diggers1917, dimand, DISPATCHER1673, divad40k, DocSavage57, dragonforce91, drxprime, duckingreficulous, dudeman855, dyne304, eeveeblaze, Ekim, Ella Bella, Elminster, Esther, Evil Dolly, exile in thighville, Famouslastwords, fanofdimensions, Fascinita, fatboy1004, FatGirl_18, fattenmeup, Flabrat, forced into delurking, free2beme04, Fuzzy Necromancer, Fuzzy&#272;uck, gandomkar, gary_ohlson2000, Genarose54, Georgke, Ghostly-Spectre, gnoom, Goddess Patty Bombshell, goodthings, goofy girl, grae0001, Green Eyed Fairy, Greg the Hero, groscochon, Gypsy SSBBW, Hajo, halmoatsympatico.ca, happyfallow, harry21, Haunted, Heavy_Cream, hgee, hollyfo, hpg1701, ilovebiggirls2, Imp, inspekter, interesting monster, intraultra, jac1974kra, James, JammayKimani, jamyjam224, Jane, jantestus, jay kratos, JayRay25, jecniceguy, JennyRiot, jewels_mystery, JillyBee, JMNYC, joe0111, JoeFusco, JoeVanHalen, johnnny2005, JohnWylde, Joker13, Jon Blaze, jonah-uk, jrs15143, kabe200050259, katorade, Keb, kinkykitten, klepseiker, krakenpolar, krismiss, kurious, largenlovely, laterdater, *Leonardo_Da_Vinchi*, Les Toil, liatbesher, lighted9, lostjacket, lovesflab, ltdjws, Lucky, lucky casner, luscious_lulu, luv_lovehandles, Mallrat, marcelomartinelli, Markt, maverick09, mcshazbot, md1166, mdf, mejix, Melian, Metsgo, me_uk_2k1, MickeyFFA, mikael, Mikey, mikey787, Mishty, Miss Vickie, missdelish, MisticalMisty, moore2me, moose, mszwebs, mtothec223, MuleVariationsNYC, Murphy, MWBBWFanMan, mybluice, MzIndyRonda, nainz242, natasfan, natro220, Naturalist Phil, Neeseakgani, nikpug, None, NORSEBELL, nst19742003, Nutellan, Oirish, olwen, OneWickedAngel, outroducin, paindyApenind, palndrm, PamelaLois, panhype, Parka, Pat, phatfatgirl, Pixelpops, plumplin3009, plumpmygut, Poncedeleon, poolman, poopman, ppgislas, propertius, QueenB, QuickFL, randomFA, Reggiano, RentonBob, reppp, Rich P, Richard1955, Risible, RKC, RockVolnut, rocky222555, Rowan, RVGleason, rwilson23, S13Drifter, sackatt, Saverus, Scotchy, scott b, sean7, Seiger23, sergeantikarla, shelly220, Sid, skinnyman44, SlugClub, Smite, Smushygirl, someoldgeezer, Speak, Spinalcombo, spyder_moto, ssbbwlover, ssbbw_lovers, succubus_dxb, sully57, supersarge, supersonicgsxr, supersonicsuper, tabbahenry, TallFatSue, Tania, The Orange Mage, theprof, thesoulbook, THRDS, tlustoprd, tommcgee, tommiboy, Tooz, totalFA, Totmacher, totretat, TraciJo67, Traveller, treaclebelle, Trinkan, truksartus, TXKW, Tyrael, vaikman, Victim, vinger, Wagimawr, wally1001, wambo121, Wantabelly, wastedpaint, waynelampard, Webmaster, whatup995, Wild Zero, William, Wilson Barbers, WingFA, wrestlingguy, xealer, xkonstantinex, youngnintogaining, yourpersonalpenguin, yulfa, zanza
> 
> 
> -----
> 
> you know what's funny? he totally spelled that wrong.
> 
> k' carry on


Reminds me of this guy.......


----------



## Carl1h

Les Toil said:


> Sorry, but I have to laugh at the idea that we have a _fashion forum_ and a _foodee forum_, but FAs have to campaign to get a forum for themselves. It's just laughable.



I thought he meant to say that those two forums were more trivial forums, compared to an FA/FFA forum based on their subject matter (food and clothing being less important than actual people). Rather than saying that they are women's forums to be tallied in a scorecard of women's forums vs. men's forums.

Of course maybe I'm just projecting since the Foodee forum is my one of my favoritist forums and therefore can't be a women's forum.

Also, would someone please tell me why I am bothering to try to clarify any statement made in this thread at this point?


----------



## mossystate

Originally Posted by Les Toil 
No, you're not stupid, you're just troubled.

What's happening in your personal life that would have you searching so deep for sexist actions from the men here, Mossy? You've been doing this for a considerable amount of time here on Dimensions. Some of the accusations you've made here are mind-reeling. You invent sex wars where their wasn't even the smallest indication of any. You add terms like "telling us gals" as a way of kick-starting a dispute that really doesn't need to go there. If you're claiming food is largely a women's topic, that's an opinion you have to hold within yourself and not use it as a tactic to absurdly make accusations of sexism. In all truth, if I was a woman I may take issue with you deeming it a woman's topic. 

You're the absolute worst kind of person a public forum could ever want to have as a member. When an intelligent and fair discussion is going on, you'll find it your duty to disrupt it by sussing out even the most miniscule implications of intolerance and blowing it to the size of a mountain. 

Again, what injustices are happening in your personal life that would drive you to want to come here to make such disruptive actions a favorite past time? Such behavior isn't healthy to you or anyone in your path.


Wow.

I had you on ignore, but this was quoted, so I just saw it.

I am the absolute worst kind of person, because I have called you on some of _your_ shit. Then to say that there must be something in my life that has me so off-balanced. 

Wow.

That is kind of typical of people who want to reduce the validity of anothers' viewpoint. Because, a woman could not just see something obvious and not have it be because of some deep and dark trauma. 

From " the men here at Dimensions "...? If I am making things up out of thin air...why is it that I am not finding this obvious sexism from all the men? Wait, what is the next ah-HA moment. Am I paying these men?...are they pussywhipped males?...are they afraid of me and my POWER? Does it just piss you off to no end that there are men on the boards ( and from chat ) who like me, the woman who has called you on some shit? 


As for the topic of the food board...ummmmm...again...you are the one who reached for that...not mentally disturbed me. 

I am the worst kind of person a board can have....and judging from my rep count....lots of worst kinds of people kind of like me. I am kind to decent people...and I will never apologize for being a broken record when it comes to prejudice...* shrug *


You got called on some sexism. Deal with it. Your game does not work with me.

And....thanks to my Mom and Dad for instilling such fine qualities. It's times like these when I am grateful to know the kind of person I am ...and the kind of person I am not.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

> Originally Posted by Les Toil
> Sorry, but I have to laugh at the idea that we have a fashion forum and a foodee forum, but FAs have to campaign *to get a forum for themselves*. It's just laughable.





Carl1h said:


> I thought he meant to say that those two forums were more trivial forums, compared to an FA/FFA forum based on their subject matter (food and clothing being less important than actual people). Rather than saying that they are women's forums to be tallied in a scorecard of women's forums vs. men's forums.
> 
> Of course maybe I'm just projecting since the Foodee forum is my one of my favoritist forums and therefore can't be a women's forum.
> 
> Also, would someone please tell me why I am bothering to try to clarify any statement made in this thread at this point?



That bolded part....it reads to me like he is saying the women have their own forums...and the menz need to get away from all of us wimminz. 

But yeah, why clarify anything. It's obvious that people that claim to like us fat people have a horrible time and need privy time to go talk about how horrible it is to like us. 

Now I will be grateful for the crumbs of having FAs in our presence and go read about where I can buy underwear.....cause that fixes everything.


Oh, and funny....as a bi-sizual, I suppose my preferences are only HALF twisted....so not sure if I can offer any advice to confused bi-sizuals cause..... you know....I don't really give a fuck if others don't like my date....that means that only *I* get to fuck him that night.....THAT'S what makes me feel TRULY lucky :batting:


----------



## William

Does anyone have the "Cliff Notes" for this thread??

William




Carl1h said:


> I thought he meant to say that those two forums were more trivial forums, compared to an FA/FFA forum based on their subject matter (food and clothing being less important than actual people). Rather than saying that they are women's forums to be tallied in a scorecard of women's forums vs. men's forums.
> 
> Of course maybe I'm just projecting since the Foodee forum is my one of my favoritist forums and therefore can't be a women's forum.
> 
> Also, would someone please tell me why I am bothering to try to clarify any statement made in this thread at this point?


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

Can we make the entire board private so no one can respond to this thread anymore?


----------



## Tooz

Les Toil said:


> Sincerest apologies Tooz. I very much misunderstood. There were other comments by others about FAs needing a forum to be "coddled" and I guess I was addressing them as much as I thought I was addressing your post (which I totally misread).
> 
> Again, apologies Tooz.



It's ok. I know, it's hard to infer correct intents from lines of text. Signals get mixed, etc.


----------



## Wild Zero

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Can we make the entire board private so no one can respond to this thread anymore?



The DIY version of this is going down the entire member list and putting everyone on ignore.


----------



## Tina

I've been thinking about this for a while now and personally, I'm not vested in an FA/FFA board one way or the other. I think it could be really useful for some, just because there would be a wealth of information there for new and young FA/FFAs, and hopefully a positive way for the guys to bond, too. I do not believe the moderators that would be there were the board formed would allow nastiness against us women there, nor rampant sexism. Would there be some? Uh, yeah, but it's all all over anyway and totally unlikely to go away, no matter which board, website, city state or country one is currently talking about. Some are just worse than others. Therefore, I don't think it's a bad idea. I'm not sure if it's needed or not, but if a sizable number of FAs, male and female, believe it is, then I'm cool with it. I don't see where it hurts anything.

But what I also see is that _if_ what's being called for is more a board for guys (really, more FAs than FFAs have been discussing it), than women should get equal time. While it's patently true that SSBBW tend to have more issues around being fat than smaller BBW, I don't think that should mean that SSBBW are the only ones who matter enough to have their own board. I feel about this the same as I do about an FA/FFA board: if they feel they need it badly enough, why not? After reading every freakin' post in this thread, I think that is _all_ Mossy is trying to ultimately get at is: equal time. Lots of people mis-characterizing each other on both sizes of this, IMO.

In the end, I guess the question is: does it hurt for those who feel they need their own board (and from what I can see, the only ones who are being mentioned right now are FA/FFA and BBW -- not a whole list of 'sub-groups') to actually have one?

Does having the SSBBW board and the GLBTQ board here mean that the posters who post on those boards populate the rest of the boards less, and will it make the rest of the boards less active? In short, I think the answer is "yes." But only regarding those topics that are specific to those boards. There will always be some who will participate on the specialized boards who won't participate much on the rest of the boards, but for the most part, I think we're still seeing most people continue to post on other threads and boards within Dims.

Does having more boards mean we are becoming more isolationist, or more inclusive? Glass half empty, half full?

As you can see, my fat ass is sitting squarely on the fence here, in the sense that I agree about the equal time issue but am not invested in what boards are formed; only in people feeling good about posting here, and that some of what seem to be the factions who fight more than ever just... I dunno, stop and also listen, too. I'm not posting as a mod, just as me, and I'm not trying to silence anyone or actually tell people to stop, or what to do; I'm pretty live and let live, for the most part. I think I'm just developing less of a tolerance for dis-chord and nastiness all around. 

And no, I'm NOT saying "can't we all just get along?" (God, I hate that...)


----------



## kayrae

Thank you for contributing to the discussion, Tina. In regards to forming a private BBW forum, I've been thinking a LOT about this topic and will start a thread soon.


----------



## James

I see this all as fairly clear cut. 

A group of FAs and FFAs PM'd eachother a few times about the idea of a board; a proposal was written; it got circulated; people commented and committed their support; it got edited; and then sent to Conrad. 

If some kind of similar procecss is happening for a BBW board or any other board then more power to those that are doing so. I'm not calling for anything more than an (F)FA board but if a big group of people felt strongly enough about something else to the point where they got organized then I certainly wouldn't oppose it. Who would I be to say that their views and needs were invalid ?


----------



## Tina

James, I think you went about your proposal and all of this in exactly the right way. It was all very professional, and I know that if and when there is to be an FA/FFA, you will continue on further in that vein.


----------



## exile in thighville

mossystate said:


> Originally Posted by Les Toil
> No, you're not stupid, you're just troubled.
> 
> What's happening in your personal life that would have you searching so deep for sexist actions from the men here, Mossy? You've been doing this for a considerable amount of time here on Dimensions. Some of the accusations you've made here are mind-reeling. You invent sex wars where their wasn't even the smallest indication of any. You add terms like "telling us gals" as a way of kick-starting a dispute that really doesn't need to go there. If you're claiming food is largely a women's topic, that's an opinion you have to hold within yourself and not use it as a tactic to absurdly make accusations of sexism. In all truth, if I was a woman I may take issue with you deeming it a woman's topic.
> 
> You're the absolute worst kind of person a public forum could ever want to have as a member. When an intelligent and fair discussion is going on, you'll find it your duty to disrupt it by sussing out even the most miniscule implications of intolerance and blowing it to the size of a mountain.
> 
> Again, what injustices are happening in your personal life that would drive you to want to come here to make such disruptive actions a favorite past time? Such behavior isn't healthy to you or anyone in your path.
> 
> 
> Wow.
> 
> I had you on ignore, but this was quoted, so I just saw it.
> 
> I am the absolute worst kind of person, because I have called you on some of _your_ shit. Then to say that there must be something in my life that has me so off-balanced.
> 
> Wow.
> 
> That is kind of typical of people who want to reduce the validity of anothers' viewpoint. Because, a woman could not just see something obvious and not have it be because of some deep and dark trauma.
> 
> From " the men here at Dimensions "...? If I am making things up out of thin air...why is it that I am not finding this obvious sexism from all the men? Wait, what is the next ah-HA moment. Am I paying these men?...are they pussywhipped males?...are they afraid of me and my POWER? Does it just piss you off to no end that there are men on the boards ( and from chat ) who like me, the woman who has called you on some shit?
> 
> 
> As for the topic of the food board...ummmmm...again...you are the one who reached for that...not mentally disturbed me.
> 
> I am the worst kind of person a board can have....and judging from my rep count....lots of worst kinds of people kind of like me. I am kind to decent people...and I will never apologize for being a broken record when it comes to prejudice...* shrug *
> 
> 
> You got called on some sexism. Deal with it. Your game does not work with me.
> 
> And....thanks to my Mom and Dad for instilling such fine qualities. It's times like these when I am grateful to know the kind of person I am ...and the kind of person I am not.



mossy les is not the enemy

moreover i'm insulted you had him on ignore and not me

am i not good enough for you


----------



## mossystate

exile in thighville said:


> mossy les is not the enemy
> 
> moreover i'm insulted you had him on ignore and not me
> 
> am i not good enough for you



exile glad you like les

my ignore list has an ebb and flow feature

i am too good for you


----------



## TotallyReal

are you guys excited for the watchmen movie

i hear that the ending has b een totally changed by movie executive asshats

i hang out at jamba juice


----------



## stan_der_man

exile in thighville said:


> mossy les is not the enemy
> 
> moreover i'm insulted you had him on ignore and not me
> 
> am i not good enough for you





mossystate said:


> exile glad you like les
> 
> my ignore list has an ebb and flow feature
> 
> i am too good for you



You may be the "WORSE KIND OF PERSON" as your custom user title states Mossy, but you are the best at what you do and for that you should be commended. :bow:

As for you Exile, I like your shtick but Mossy is in a whole different league...


Just sayin'...


----------



## goodthings

Ekim said:


> mossystate said:
> 
> 
> 
> Please point to a regular poster on this board who's called you or any of the women here by the names that are in your sig. I've been here for years and haven't seen that kind of behavior by anybody, even the most ignorant of people who come here only because they were lured by the Paysite and Weight boards.
> 
> I do not think women do "evil"; I'm commenting on literally two or three posters here (they're just quite vocal), and what they said is objectively offensive. Guys who are jerks need to be taken down a peg, but insulting all of the men who come here is not remotely the same thing.
> 
> And I know this is not my place (and this has been debated to death), but I still don't understand why smaller BBWs aren't allowed into the SSBBW forum, which serves a great purpose in providing private discussion for specific issues these women face. I get that you guys don't want size 8s complaining about gaining 5 lbs. waltzing right in there, but what is the recourse for a girl who is, say, 280-350 and has private issues concerning her size? The idea that anyone smaller than "supersize" would be ruining the discussion or causing some kind of breach in trust among that group seems absurd.
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah this bugs me too, though mossystate is far from the only poster here to indulge in it.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Maybe if you got a chance to live in my ssbbw shoes for a while, it would not seem so absurd.
Click to expand...


----------



## Fascinita

If the forum happens and it is open only to certain people, what's going to be interesting is seeing what happens as FAs take this step to distance themselves from the fat people at large out on the boards, primarily the women. My fear is that it will tend to deepen, not smooth out, the rift that shows itself in this thread and others like it.

Having said that, I've seen enough sincere expression for the desire for a forum to discuss FA issues that, though I fear the impulse to segregate (and especially the impulse to "privatize" such a forum) may be misguided, I've been convinced that some good people may benefit from its existence. 

Sorry I can't go there with you, FAs, as I have my own needs to tend to, but good luck to the sincere seekers among you.


----------



## furious styles

i don't think i like dimensions anymore


----------



## Observer

furious styles said:


> i don't think i like dimensions anymore



Sorry you feel that way.

I don't agree with everyone on everything, but I wouldn't discount an entire community or even most individuals on that account.


----------



## FaxMachine1234

goodthings said:


> Maybe if you got a chance to live in my ssbbw shoes for a while, it would not seem so absurd.



I think the quoting system's got messed up as what I said was attributed to mossystates. Anyhoo, I'm not saying that supersize women do not have unique problems, I just fail to see why other large women aren't allowed in just because they don't pass the artificial threshold that was established. If you want to keep the FAs out that's one thing, but I don't see why all plus-size women can't participate since I'm sure they have private issues as well that they'd like to ask in such a forum but they aren't allowed to.


----------



## exile in thighville

goodthings said:


> Ekim said:
> 
> 
> 
> Maybe if you got a chance to live in my ssbbw shoes for a while, it would not seem so absurd.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> he's only suggesting it would be highly unusual within the confines of dims with the rules and whatnot...
Click to expand...


----------



## furious styles

Observer said:


> Sorry you feel that way.
> 
> I don't agree with everyone on everything, but I wouldn't discount an entire community or even most individuals on that account.



I agree. However, this is much bigger than this thread, or a few of our more colorful personalities butting heads. I've been saying it for a long time, collisions like this only illustrate it further. It's much more intrinsic. 

I've always believed that Dimensions tries to be much more than it actually can be. Dimensions tries to be a forum about fat (size). Everything about fat, all at once. 

It's acceptance.
It's sexualization. 
It's ramifications in society. 
It's associated health issues.
It's admiration.
It's disdain.
et al. 

Every issue is valid. Every division is important. The largest of the two are that of it's acceptance (and related subdivisions) and that of it's sexualization/admiration (etc.) .. two forces which have shared a shaky and volatile cohabitation for a long period of time now. Each division has issues. Each division has it's own struggles, it's own triumphs. However, each does not necessarily mesh with the other. Often not at all. We can all play Stepford ignorance and pretend everything is fine but the division is there. Choice few people can unbiasedly see from every viewpoint in this prism of a forum. Which is fine, it's hardly fair to ask everyone to. 

The problem is that the split has only increased with time. And with the increase comes volatility. Who is really right? Who is really wrong? 

Can we expect a normal person of size to understand right off the bat the deep and intricate fantasies and visual obsessions of many an FA? Hardly. That's not fair. People that often hate their bodies due to conditioning can't be expected to all of a sudden embrace it because they find a barely visible group of others who enjoy it. That's ridiculous. One must find their own way to self confidence, no one can tell it to you.

Can many FAs, often young and unexposed to things as simple as dating and gender/relationship politics, and faced with intense peer pressure and other issues that come with the territory of leaving adolescence, be expected to state aloud their preference? When they've been told it's "unnatural" or "a phase" their whole life? By _friends and family_, people that mean everything to them? I don't think so. Telling them that they are cowardly doesn't help. Their actions are often cowardly, that's completely undeniable. A human being does not deserve to be hidden away and treated like less than a person. But what if that's all you know? The average german citizens didn't think of themselves as "evil" as they followed the Nazi regime. That's all they had known, often since birth. Some did turn away from it on their own, realizing that what they were doing was wrong (as do some FAs). But can we really, with a clean conscience, vilify those who didn't automatically? They _do_ need a push. Frightening and berating these people however will only drive them further away. 

It's not easy to see eye to eye. We all know this. Still, why does fact that we each have issues have to be used as ammunition against each other? Can't we relate to the fact that everyone here (and pretty much everyone _everywhere_) has their own problems? 

No. Not that easy. Much more complicated. We are forced to see the extremes of all ends of this massively complex spectrum. Conflict arises. A state of mind is driven into each portion's heads until we begin to see traces of prejudice, misunderstanding, then good ole' fashioned hate. It's a microcosm of human interaction in the real world. 

It's not simple. It's not black and white. There is no "right" party. We can't tell one subdivision "No, you're just wrong. Get that through your head god damn it, then we can all coexist here peacefully."

So what's the answer? Private subforums? I supported the first private subforum, for private health issues. I think that anyone can see the obvious need for that. Would you want to talk about your deepest and most embarrassing issues in front of a huge crowd of (literally) anyone? No, you would want to talk to people that can relate, and in a more intimate setting. I can however see the merits of a private FA forum, for similar reasoning. What if FAs wanted to talk about things they were embarrassed to be turned on by, without feeling judged quite as harshly? Or ask questions on how to deal with these things and others? But as I think about that, I see the merits of a private BBW forum as well. As well as a BHM one. Every subdivision would honestly need a private subforum, for equality's sake. What a can of worms that becomes. Screened admissions, moderation issues, furthering divisiveness. 

All of a sudden it would be like we were all on a separate set of forums. 

Refer to top of post.


----------



## stan_der_man

furious styles said:


> i don't think i like dimensions anymore



Ditto, I'm pretty much at that point myself. At very least I am having trouble taking this place seriously anymore except for all the people I've met, the friendships I've made and the good times we've had at meet-ups. Dimensions seems like such a squandered opportunity to promote fat acceptance, understand each other and promote a positive image for FAs and fat people. I really don't get what Conrad is doing here, even BBW Magazine has just been pissed away.


----------



## William

I hate multi-quotes, seems that this thread has reach the multi-quote limit!!

Anyway 

I liked this post




furious styles said:


> I agree. However, this is much bigger than this thread, or a few of our more colorful personalities butting heads. I've been saying it for a long time, collisions like this only illustrate it further. It's much more intrinsic.




William




Ekim said:


> I think the quoting system's got messed up as what I said was attributed to mossystates. Anyhoo, I'm not saying that supersize women do not have unique problems, I just fail to see why other large women aren't allowed in just because they don't pass the artificial threshold that was established. If you want to keep the FAs out that's one thing, but I don't see why all plus-size women can't participate since I'm sure they have private issues as well that they'd like to ask in such a forum but they aren't allowed to.


----------



## Observer

furious styles said:


> I agree. However, this is much bigger than this thread, or a few of our more colorful personalities butting heads. I've been saying it for a long time, collisions like this only illustrate it further. It's much more intrinsic.
> 
> I've always believed that Dimensions tries to be much more than it actually can be. Dimensions tries to be a forum about fat (size). Everything about fat, all at once.
> 
> .......
> 
> I can however see the merits of a private FA forum, for similar reasoning. What if FAs wanted to talk about things they were embarrassed to be turned on by, without feeling judged quite as harshly? Or ask questions on how to deal with these things and others? But as I think about that, I see the merits of a private BBW forum as well. As well as a BHM one. Every subdivision would honestly need a private subforum, for equality's sake. What a can of worms that becomes. Screened admissions, moderation issues, furthering divisiveness.
> 
> All of a sudden it would be like we were all on a separate set of forums.



A thoughtful reply - although as the example of our Library shows it is possible to have diversity and privacy without being divisive. We have diversity (our archives) with privacy (the Writer's Guild Forum is visible only to Guild members but the there is also a public Writers Forum) and what has been the result?

We now have a record number of female authors, available coaching, story reviews, diversity of themes and viewership that were unheard of five years ago. There are times (usually around 9-10 at night) when the combined library forums exceed even the Paysite Forum in participation. And we seldom have flame wars - those that break out are quickly extinguished. 

The desire for specialty forums does relate to the sheer size of the Dimensions Community. We do, as you accurately say, try to address multiple needs of the community - the recent;y dded GLBTQ and Marketplace forums are indicative of this. And we haven't mastered it perfectly. 

With diverse forums addressing various needs there does come a sense of overwheming complexity dfor the newbie - and one prtoject (not germane to this thread especially) that has been discussed is an improved orientation approach for new members. The problem, of course, is that we essentially do all this with volunteers, so it takes awhile to all get done.

That said, before getting discouraged, look at how far we have come.


----------



## ladle

I can't help but feel a little left out here...
I'm going to petition for a :
"FA's-who are tall and don't wear glasses, silly hats, have brown hair though it's receding- only board"
I just don't feel that I fit in anywhere else here.


----------



## FaxMachine1234

fa_man_stan said:


> Ditto, I'm pretty much at that point myself. At very least I am having trouble taking this place seriously anymore except for all the people I've met, the friendships I've made and the good times we've had at meet-ups. Dimensions seems like such a squandered opportunity to promote fat acceptance, understand each other and promote a positive image for FAs and fat people. I really don't get what Conrad is doing here, even BBW Magazine has just been pissed away.



Gee whiz, I wouldn't go that far. I think Dimensions' still a great place, but it needs to feel more inviting to male FA posters who actually want to be involved in the discussion, and there are many. For example, people should stop accusing all of the guys here of just hanging around so they can jerk off to pictures; the ones who actually are involved here will be rightfully offended by the insinuation.


----------



## wrestlingguy

Ekim said:


> Gee whiz, I wouldn't go that far. I think Dimensions' still a great place, but it needs to feel more inviting to male FA posters who actually want to be involved in the discussion, and there are many. For example, *people should stop accusing all of the guys here of just hanging around so they can jerk off to pictures*; the ones who actually are involved here will be rightfully offended by the insinuation.



C'mon......when you said PEOPLE should stop accusing the guys of hanging around to fap to pictures, you meant WOMEN, right?? I mean, I haven't seen a guy step up to the plate to take *THAT* swing!!

As someone who IS involved here, I DO find that offensive, but don't feel uninvited because of it. About 16 pages ago, I was in fact accused of wanted to enter a private board so I could rub one out as I read SSBBW problems in that forum. Did I feel any less invited? Nope......not one bit. Even though I took offense to it, I answered the challenge, and that issue for me was put to rest. It was nothing big, so it didn't take me 8 pages of "fuck yous" to the poster who challenged me to make my point.

We've all become a bit sensitive around here lately. Seems like there's been a higher asshole rate here than usual. It may be a good time for some to take a break from Dimensions, and "cool off". I've done it before, and have found it helpful.

Seems a shame that in a place where we celebrate both diversity & acceptance, that this (and other) threads could break down so easily.
Maybe I'm the one who needs a break from this.


----------



## FaxMachine1234

Alright, I didn't mean to make a crusade about it, just wanted to voice my objections. I really think having a good, healthy debate about this and all of its related topics is healthy; really the only severe tangent in this thread was about Exile in Thighville's stuff and the responses, but that seems to have passed.


----------



## TraciJo67

Well, I like you lots, Mossy the Thing. But then again, I'm not only a member of the Harpies Club for Women, I'm also Your President  

Les ... I've always considered YOU to be one of the good guys. After reading what you wrote to Mossy, I have to revise that to a degree. She was right to call you on some obvious BS. Even if your overt intent wasn't sexist, it was there for all to see (we have our own boards, so we can discuss food and fashion?? that's not even a good JOKE!). Your reaction was harshly defensive and very over the top. 

Mossy is very, very good at rooting the obvious out of the subtle. Kind of like truffle-snorting, only the prize she turns up isn't usually delectable  I can understand why that would unnerve some people. 



mossystate said:


> Originally Posted by Les Toil
> No, you're not stupid, you're just troubled.
> 
> What's happening in your personal life that would have you searching so deep for sexist actions from the men here, Mossy? You've been doing this for a considerable amount of time here on Dimensions. Some of the accusations you've made here are mind-reeling. You invent sex wars where their wasn't even the smallest indication of any. You add terms like "telling us gals" as a way of kick-starting a dispute that really doesn't need to go there. If you're claiming food is largely a women's topic, that's an opinion you have to hold within yourself and not use it as a tactic to absurdly make accusations of sexism. In all truth, if I was a woman I may take issue with you deeming it a woman's topic.
> 
> You're the absolute worst kind of person a public forum could ever want to have as a member. When an intelligent and fair discussion is going on, you'll find it your duty to disrupt it by sussing out even the most miniscule implications of intolerance and blowing it to the size of a mountain.
> 
> Again, what injustices are happening in your personal life that would drive you to want to come here to make such disruptive actions a favorite past time? Such behavior isn't healthy to you or anyone in your path.
> 
> 
> Wow.
> 
> I had you on ignore, but this was quoted, so I just saw it.
> 
> I am the absolute worst kind of person, because I have called you on some of _your_ shit. Then to say that there must be something in my life that has me so off-balanced.
> 
> Wow.
> 
> That is kind of typical of people who want to reduce the validity of anothers' viewpoint. Because, a woman could not just see something obvious and not have it be because of some deep and dark trauma.
> 
> From " the men here at Dimensions "...? If I am making things up out of thin air...why is it that I am not finding this obvious sexism from all the men? Wait, what is the next ah-HA moment. Am I paying these men?...are they pussywhipped males?...are they afraid of me and my POWER? Does it just piss you off to no end that there are men on the boards ( and from chat ) who like me, the woman who has called you on some shit?
> 
> 
> As for the topic of the food board...ummmmm...again...you are the one who reached for that...not mentally disturbed me.
> 
> I am the worst kind of person a board can have....and judging from my rep count....lots of worst kinds of people kind of like me. I am kind to decent people...and I will never apologize for being a broken record when it comes to prejudice...* shrug *
> 
> 
> You got called on some sexism. Deal with it. Your game does not work with me.
> 
> And....thanks to my Mom and Dad for instilling such fine qualities. It's times like these when I am grateful to know the kind of person I am ...and the kind of person I am not.


----------



## pickleman357

F/FA fourm? There definatly should be one, without a doubt in a my mind. Make it private? WTF?

FAs go through their own problems, which are less then what a BBW/BHM goes through, by far. But they are _completely_ different.

Speaking as a complete FA who thinks that skinny women look like little boys with tits and makeup, (This is just my own opinion, I can't stress that enough) there are many personal reasons why I would want a place where all the F/FA topics to go

There needs to be a sticky that deals with these new FAs that come in asking how to convince their g/fs to gain weight. I have seen and replied to _so many_ of those, I want a billboard for them to look at and say *"She's a human being, not a sex toy, treat her like one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!1!!!one!" *in a more mature and comfortable way, of course 
Talking about how F/FAs feel when they introduce their big g/b/f to their friends/family/co-workers and the odd uneasy feeling we get
Being looked at or told that I'm a freak by my g/f because I like fat
How frustrating it is to see all of these weight loss ads and wanting to scream at the world "They're beautiful the way they are, shut the fuck up already!!!!"
To help closet FAs understand that its okay to be turned on by second chins
To show big men and women that hate their fat bodies that there's a whole group of people out there that love them. Hopefully that'll help them, and boost their self confidence
I could go on, but you probably get the idea.

Now, I don't understand why it should be private. If you have something that you want to talk privately about, why not just find someone who has a good head on their shoulders, via their postss, and just PM them?

I just hope that non-FAs would respect that anyone posting on the F/FA fourm would understand that we are going to be venting about our unique problems, and respect that. Yeah, we are probably going to bitch about BBWs, but that's why we're here. To get together and work through this stupid society that hates us. There is a lot of confustion that an FA goes through. I know, I've been there. I was a stupid, fat-humping, horn-dog at one time, and I would love to help others who are in that position right now. 

....

Just had a thought about the whole private board. Why does it have to be over a spesific topic? (bbw/fat/etc) I agree with a seperate health one, of course. by why not have one that anyone is allowed to start a topic, but only a select number of people are allowed to view and responce to such posts?
Just an idea


----------



## Observer

Pickleman, you get repped for an excellent post. The list of why we need a board such as this sounds like it was written by the proponents PR guy. 

Unfortunately we can't even test your last suggestion on semi-public threads because without mod powers the software doesn't allow it. Individual thread responses are either open to all or closed to everyone, not capable of being selective to a designated group. 

Again it should be noted that the proposed board will be basically public and FA/FFA as to topic orientation, not restricted to posting exclusively by just members of those groups (we're not going to waste mod resources trying to screen people and detect fakes; good behavior will be the primary criteria.); any private forum element will be an additional resource.


----------



## butch

As an individual, and not as a mod of the GLBTQ forum, I have to say, even if I get branded as one of the insensitive harpies of the board, that one can respectfully describe their attractions without saying thin women look like 'little boys with tits and makeup.' No one objects to men wanting a place to talk about their attractions, but why is it so hard for folks to grasp that calling into question any body not looking like a woman because it isn't your personal taste is tasteless and tactless, imo. Just like it would be rude and tactless for me to say thin men look too weak and unsubstantial to be real men. Not true, at all, but that kind of statement is no different from the way many male FAs describe their attracttions to fat women. 

Back to your FA board discussion.


----------



## goodthings

Ekim said:


> I think the quoting system's got messed up as what I said was attributed to mossystates. Anyhoo, I'm not saying that supersize women do not have unique problems, I just fail to see why other large women aren't allowed in just because they don't pass the artificial threshold that was established. If you want to keep the FAs out that's one thing, but I don't see why all plus-size women can't participate since I'm sure they have private issues as well that they'd like to ask in such a forum but they aren't allowed to.




Go back and read my origional response


----------



## BeaBea

Ekim said:


> If you want to keep the FAs out that's one thing, but I don't see why all plus-size women can't participate since I'm sure they have private issues as well that they'd like to ask in such a forum but they aren't allowed to.



Hey Ekim,

I get what you are saying but you kind of need to trust those of us who are SS sized that there ARE real differences. 

To try to explain a little, and hopefully in terms which wont offend anyone, I have a friend with Testicular Cancer who uses a Forum similar to this one to get support and to trade information (and some really funny but horribly un-PC jokes! Lol, but I digress).

There are lots of general boards about the illness, treatments regimes, the surgeries etc and there are specific locked boards for various ailments - but he spends most of his time reading and posting in the Testicular Cancer Board. Not because the people reading and posting elsewhere aren't also suffering from the same disease, not because they wont have huge sympathy for his condition, not because he wants to be part of a secret club but because its only the people with that anatomy and those conditions that he feels comfortable enough to share his most private thoughts. I know there is plenty of discussion on what the illness means to him as a man and to his masculinity and I'm certain that similar is true on the private boards where female related cancers are discussed. I suspect those issues dont come up nearly so often on boards where conditions which equally affect both sexes are discussed.

I hope that helps explain a little why I feel the private, female only, SSBBW only board is such a valuable resource? Obviously I dont equate anything to do with being BBW/SSBBW/FA as in any way similar to having cancer but it was the only way I could think of to explain my thoughts. Oh, and this was posted with his permission, and his treatment is going well 

Tracey


----------



## mossystate

TraciJo67 said:


> Well, I like you lots, Mossy the Thing. But then again, I'm not only a member of the Harpies Club for Women, I'm also Your President
> 
> Mossy is very, very good at rooting the obvious out of the subtle. Kind of like truffle-snorting, only the prize she turns up isn't usually delectable  I can understand why that would unnerve some people.



More than one woman comments on stuff like...that. I seem to be the beacon of light. If a few disgruntled folks want to lob rocks at my lightbulb...it's ok. I ain't shuttin' up.....but you already knew that. 

Problem with the truffles.....they are not deeply buried. Well, that's a good thing right now....I have a cold.


----------



## pickleman357

Oh, I know what you mean butch. Saying that I don't like skinny women can and has upset people, I know that. But that's who I am, period. I can't recall meeting ANYONE that shares this view with me. But this is the kind of thread that I would like to start on the F/FA fourm. 

I thought of some other reasons as well.

I would like to coordinate a Flash Mob to recreate some scenes from this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHj3v3vOVaA
I want to brain storm with other FAs to find ways that *we* can help with the Size Acceptence
Talk about, and how to control ourselves when it comes to admiring fat. You do get us very worked up ladies/guys when you do just about anything: Eat, get dressed, sit down, stand up, walk, etc. You make us want to sing this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4
There's a lot of FA specific topics that are out there, it would be very helpful if they were all in one spot


----------



## butch

pickleman357 said:


> Oh, I know what you mean butch. Saying that I don't like skinny women can and has upset people, I know that. But that's who I am, period. I can't recall meeting ANYONE that shares this view with me. But this is the kind of thread that I would like to start on the F/FA fourm.
> 
> I thought of some other reasons as well.
> 
> I would like to coordinate a Flash Mob to recreate some scenes from this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHj3v3vOVaA
> I want to brain storm with other FAs to find ways that *we* can help with the Size Acceptence
> Talk about, and how to control ourselves when it comes to admiring fat. You do get us very worked up ladies/guys when you do just about anything: Eat, get dressed, sit down, stand up, walk, etc. You make us want to sing this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4
> There's a lot of FA specific topics that are out there, it would be very helpful if they were all in one spot



No, I didn't have a problem with you not liking skinny women (or saying so on this board), I have a problem with you saying skinny women look like 'men with tits and make-up.' It is the way you address your attraction, not the sentiment you shared. I also don't have a problem with you talking about what you want in a (F)FA board or anout being an FA in general.

Also, I imagine you wouldn't think I look very lady like, and I am a very fat woman with proportionate breasts, so that blows your beliefs that only fat women look like 'real women.'

Hope I'm clear, and that we can respectfully disagree if you don't see the problem with your choice of words.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

pickleman357 said:


> Oh, I know what you mean butch. Saying that I don't like skinny women can and has upset people, I know that. But that's who I am, period. I can't recall meeting ANYONE that shares this view with me. But this is the kind of thread that I would like to start on the F/FA fourm.
> 
> I thought of some other reasons as well.
> 
> I would like to coordinate a Flash Mob to recreate some scenes from this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHj3v3vOVaA
> I want to brain storm with other FAs to find ways that *we* can help with the Size Acceptence
> Talk about, and how to control ourselves when it comes to admiring fat. You do get us very worked up ladies/guys when you do just about anything: Eat, get dressed, sit down, stand up, walk, etc. You make us want to sing this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4
> There's a lot of FA specific topics that are out there, it would be very helpful if they were all in one spot





butch said:


> No, I didn't have a problem with you not liking skinny women (or saying so on this board), I have a problem with you saying skinny women look like 'men with tits and make-up.' It is the way you address your attraction, not the sentiment you shared. I also don't have a problem with you talking about what you want in a (F)FA board or anout being an FA in general.
> 
> Also, I imagine you wouldn't think I look very lady like, and I am a very fat woman with proportionate breasts, so that blows your beliefs that only fat women look like 'real women.'
> 
> Hope I'm clear, and that we can respectfully disagree if you don't see the problem with your choice of words.




It's okay to love/have your preference...but no need to feel entitled to insult all that aren't your preference. It's the same thing as a guy that likes thin women calling all of us fatties beached whales. Or saying if we don't weigh XYZ then we shouldn't live. 
You can like what you like....but that doesn't mean there is something wrong with what you don't like either.


----------



## TraciJo67

pickleman357 said:


> Oh, I know what you mean butch. Saying that I don't like skinny women can and has upset people, I know that. But that's who I am, period. I can't recall meeting ANYONE that shares this view with me. But this is the kind of thread that I would like to start on the F/FA fourm.



Your preference has no direct or indirect impact on me. What bothers me is how insulting it is to state a preference in that way, rather than simply saying, "Thin women just don't do it for me". I don't mean to pile on over this -- you have clearly expressed regret for how you worded things. I just wanted to be very clear that your PREFERENCE isn't the issue. It is in how you expressed it. I wasn't sure if that was clear, by reading the above paragraph.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

pickleman357 said:


> F/FA fourm? There definatly should be one, without a doubt in a my mind. Make it private? WTF?
> 
> Speaking as a complete FA who thinks that skinny women look like little boys with tits and makeup, (This is just my own opinion, I can't stress that enough) there are many personal reasons why I would want a place where all the F/FA topics to go



if you'd like a FA/FFA forum, you may not want to insult a large part of the FFA community, what with them being thin and all. 

 just saying.


----------



## CurvaceousBBWLover

MisticalMisty said:


> This ^^
> 
> 
> 
> And this..
> 
> Honestly, making the assumption that the men are going to run amuck objectifying, talking shit, etc makes us fat girls sound really, really bitter.
> 
> On a side note, I take offense to the people who say the Weight board is for the FAs. Number 1, I love the weight board and participate there on a regular basis. Secondly, not all FAs are into the weight gain aspect of being with a fat girl. Finally, even though the weight board is supposed to be for people to have a "safe" place to openly discuss their fantasies, etc...there are still those that run in and rain on the parade.
> 
> My other question..why didn't someone broach the subject of a bbw board before this conversation came up?



I have to spread the reputation before I can give it to you again. These are great points!

I think we should have an FA board and a BBW board. We already have an SSBBW board, a GLBTQ board, a weight gain board and a FFA/BHM board, so adding an FA board and a BBW board will only help. The object is to fulfill the members' needs. People seek to be with others who have similar experiences.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

BothGunsBlazing said:


> if you'd like a FA/FFA forum, you may not want to insult a large part of the FFA community, what with them being thin and all.
> 
> just saying.



Yes, it's like people forget that there are a lot of thin women here that support fat people. No need to be so nasty towards how they look....none of us have a right to mock others for their size.


----------



## pickleman357

BeaBea said:


> I hope that helps explain a little why I feel the private, female only, SSBBW only board is such a valuable resource? Obviously I dont equate anything to do with being BBW/SSBBW/FA as in any way similar to having cancer but it was the only way I could think of to explain my thoughts. Oh, and this was posted with his permission, and his treatment is going well
> 
> Tracey


 
I can totally agree that SSBBWs need their own private board. They definatly face different issues then bbws do. Like fitting in cars, restrants, movie theatres. Having to get all their clothes/bras/etc custome made. Using public bathrooms other then the handicap one. Just getting around!
And of course discussing all this would basically be porn to FAs.
So I'm all for that privacy



butch said:


> Also, I imagine you wouldn't think I look very lady like, and I am a very fat woman with proportionate breasts, so that blows your beliefs that only fat women look like 'real women.'


 
Um.... wha? There's so much more then just having big boobs that makes a woman a woman. Unless I misunderstood you.

I just want to clearify that when I say skinny, I mean I can see their ribcage skinny. Anything more then that, I'm fine.

And about the whole reference to boys thing; I can't help that I get flash backs to grade 9 gym locker rooms when I see them. I want it to stop. Please help me make it stop!:doh:


----------



## pickleman357

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Yes, it's like people forget that there are a lot of thin women here that support fat people. No need to be so nasty towards how they look....none of us have a right to mock others for their size.


 

I agree. I actually_ *don't* like the way I think_ about this. I want to change and my problem may be more common then I think. Other just may not voice it. All the more reason to have an F/FA board. :happy:


----------



## TraciJo67

pickleman357 said:


> I agree. I actually_ *don't* like the way I think_ about this. I want to change and my problem may be more common then I think. Other just may not voice it. *All the more reason to have an F/FA board*. :happy:



Dan? Still think that we're paranoid?


----------



## Haunted

pickleman357 said:


> Like fitting in cars, restrants,



LMAO i custom order My restraints ....


Oh Restaurants. wait what tiny ass restaurants do you take your dates to is it like the old PhotoMat Booths!:doh:



pickleman357 said:


> And of course discussing all this would basically be porn to FAs. So I'm all for that privacy



Be careful how you generalize this will get you a beatdown quicker than you can say "WrestlingGuy" or "BothGunsBlazing"

or if your feeling lucky Try "Haunted" it's only two syllables


----------



## CurvaceousBBWLover

Les Toil said:


> Oh, me too!  I was the one who suggested we have a gardening forum here too.
> 
> 
> 
> I agree. I just know there's some younger FAs that are coming to terms with their romantic interests and the judgmental comments and actions from their friends and family that come with those interests. And a number of the ones that have aired those issues here have been met with a few responses like "Oh buck it up! You think YOU have problems!" which may move that young FA to never air those personal issues here again.



And that is a good reason to have an FA board. Younger FAs have a different set of needs than younger BBWs. And there are some situations in which men need to talk to other men without women around. Using the same logic, I would strongly support a separate board for women.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

CurvaceousBBWLover said:


> And that is a good reason to have an FA board. Younger FAs have a different set of needs than younger BBWs. And there are some situations in which men need to talk to other men without women around. Using the same logic, I would strongly support a separate board for women.



me too. I think there should be a boys club and a girls club


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

pickleman357 said:


> I agree. I actually_ *don't* like the way I think_ about this. I want to change and my problem may be more common then I think. Other just may not voice it. All the more reason to have an F/FA board. :happy:




Lol, I won't police how you think.....I often time think "unpopular" or "not so politically correct things" ... I suspect all people do. I am making no attempt to control your thoughts...just saying that be aware of the company you are in .... and be respectful towards it.


----------



## SamanthaNY

CurvaceousBBWLover said:


> And that is a good reason to have an FA board. Younger FAs have a different set of needs than younger BBWs. And there are some situations in which men need to talk to other men without women around. Using the same logic, I would strongly support a separate board for women.



The FA board as it's outlined here is NOT JUST FOR MEN. You will have women there. 

Does everyone get that? Because I think a good amount of you don't. You will have female FAs and bisizual women, as already outlined. You may think you'll have a menz-only board without the [insert term used for women here] to bother you, but that's not what is proposed. Yet I think there's a bunch of you who envision that idea, and hide behind the FA board proposal. I'm gonna say it again, and hopefully those that are still confused will read and understand this: *The FA board is not just for men. *

Personally, I think these board ideas are so fucked up (see also the "small bbw board" :doh: idea) that at this point, just start a male board and a matching female board. Then put all your related issues on each and call it a day. Can't be any worse than the ideas already presented, which are awful.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

SamanthaNY said:


> Personally, I think these board ideas are so fucked up (see also the "small bbw board" :doh: idea) that at this point, just start a male board and a matching female board. Then put all your related issues on each and call it a day. Can't be any worse than the ideas already presented, which are awful.



Once again you have nailed it. That's what I think now. A mens board and a womens board and call it good.


----------



## CurvaceousBBWLover

SamanthaNY said:


> The FA board as it's outlined here is NOT JUST FOR MEN. You will have women there.
> 
> Does everyone get that? Because I think a good amount of you don't. You will have female FAs and bisizual women, as already outlined. You may think you'll have a menz-only board without the [insert term used for women here] to bother you, but that's not what is proposed. Yet I think there's a bunch of you who envision that idea, and hide behind the FA board proposal. I'm gonna say it again, and hopefully those that are still confused will read and understand this: *The FA board is not just for men. *
> 
> Personally, I think these board ideas are so fucked up (see also the "small bbw board" :doh: idea) that at this point, just start a male board and a matching female board. Then put all your related issues on each and call it a day. Can't be any worse than the ideas already presented, which are awful.



I think we should have a separate board for men and a separate board for women. We don't need an FFA board since the club already has one.


----------



## TraciJo67

CurvaceousBBWLover said:


> I think we should have a separate board for men and a separate board for women. We don't need an FFA board since the club already has one.



I think that we should also have a separate board for people that I like, and people that I don't like. I'm working on the proposal right now.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I'm glad that something in this thread has finally made me laugh, TraciJo.....:bow:


----------



## SamanthaNY

CurvaceousBBWLover said:


> I think we should have a separate board for men and a separate board for women. We don't need an FFA board since the club already has one.



Well this isn't that. This is 520 posts of something that _isn't_ what you want. 

So someone write up yet another proposal and submit it. Cuz that's not getting old at all.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

TraciJo67 said:


> I think that we should also have a separate board for people that I like, and people that I don't like. I'm working on the proposal right now.




lol...hmmm wonder which board I will be in?


----------



## pickleman357

Haunted said:


> LMAO i custom order My restraints ....
> 
> 
> Oh Restaurants. wait what tiny ass restaurants do you take your dates to is it like the old PhotoMat Booths!:doh:


We actually found an East Side Marios that doesn't accomidate a larger bottom. Which doesn't make sense to me since they serve unlimited food with almost every meal...

Back to the topic

I've looked into FFAism a bit for the video game I'm making. Then general responce I got from FFAs is that they had no idea that there were other FFAs out there, or at least that was the biggest thing that they wanted me to include.

Having an entire board for everyone that Admires fat, will help spread the word!

Having it would also help men talk about their feelings, how is this a bad thing?


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

SamanthaNY said:


> Well this isn't that. This is 520 posts of something that _isn't_ what you want.
> 
> So someone write up yet another proposal and submit it. Cuz that's not getting old at all.



I don't know.....is it just me or does that clapping Heath Ledger avatar make Samantha's posts seem ominous?


----------



## D_A_Bunny

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I don't know.....is it just me or does that clapping Heath Ledger avatar make Samantha's posts seem ominous?



That clapping Heath Ledger freaks me out everytime I see it.


----------



## BeaBea

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I don't know.....is it just me or does that clapping Heath Ledger avatar make Samantha's posts seem ominous?



No, it's the words she uses and the fact that we know she means it 

Tracey


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

BeaBea said:


> No, it's the words she uses and the fact that we know she means it
> 
> Tracey



Indeed.....but that sarcastic clapping joker WITH her words...........


----------



## mossystate

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Indeed.....but that sarcastic clapping joker WITH her words...........



I was gonna use that as an avatar, but could not get it to actually...clap.. You need the clapping, not just the stare. I am just glad it was not wasted.


----------



## cinnamitch

_Sits next to a pile of boards offering them for 100 dollars each, knowing that with all this new construction proposed, someone is gonna get rich, might as well be me ( nails for individual coffins not included)_


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

SamanthaNY said:


> You may think you'll have a menz-only board without the [insert term used for women here] to bother you, but that's not what is proposed.



I really don't like what seems to be implied here. Are you expecting "men" to insert a derogatory term in here? My experience from Dimensions is most guys here are not at all like this, yet you seem to be trying to tar us with some kind of brush. 

I do not believe an FA board, or even a men's board (a la the women's board popularly supported in the BBW board thread) would descend into chauvinistic, misogynistic drivel. I would hope anything *remotely* going that way would be stamped out by the moderators.

Not all guys are bad guys.


----------



## butch

pickleman357 said:


> Um.... wha? There's so much more then just having big boobs that makes a woman a woman. Unless I misunderstood you.
> 
> I just want to clearify that when I say skinny, I mean I can see their ribcage skinny. Anything more then that, I'm fine.
> 
> And about the whole reference to boys thing; I can't help that I get flash backs to grade 9 gym locker rooms when I see them. I want it to stop. Please help me make it stop!:doh:



Just to clarify, pickleman, by my nickname, I thought it might be clear that I am a butch woman-which, in my case, means I look pretty manly, even as I weigh a lot and have the boobs that go with it. Thus, I look just as boyish as the skinny girls you aren't fond of, yet I am less feminine than they are. I was trying to point out the fallacy of your construct by using my own body as an example.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

But Mike.........some of us women really like.......tarring the menfolk. We just can't help it


----------



## Fascinita

butch said:


> Just to clarify, pickleman, by my nickname, I thought it might be clear that I am a butch woman-which, in my case, means I look pretty manly, even as I weigh a lot and have the boobs that go with it. Thus, I look just as boyish as the skinny girls you aren't fond of, yet I am less feminine than they are. I was trying to point out the fallacy of your construct by using my own body as an example.



Butch, your cultural commentary brings _me _to the yard.


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> But Mike.........some of us women really like.......tarring the menfolk. We just can't help it



Can you at least feather us afterwards? At least that way we'd be less likely to get tar everywhere. It's a complete pain to get off the couch.


----------



## Fascinita

pickleman357 said:


> And of course *discussing *all this would basically be porn to FAs.
> So I'm all for that privacy



lol I can't stop laughing.


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

pickleman357 said:


> I can totally agree that SSBBWs need their own private board. They definatly face different issues then bbws do. Like fitting in cars, restrants, movie theatres. Having to get all their clothes/bras/etc custome made. Using public bathrooms other then the handicap one. Just getting around!
> And of course discussing all this would basically be porn to FAs.
> So I'm all for that privacy



I'd have to disagree with this. Perhaps to some FA's, and that is one of the reasons that we have a supersize issues board. But thats a very general sweeping statement that isn't true. Not all (I'd guess not that many?) FA's get off on the limitations and difficulties that supersize women have.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

fatchicksrockuk said:


> I'd have to disagree with this. Perhaps to some FA's, and that is one of the reasons that we have a supersize issues board. But thats a very general sweeping statement that isn't true. Not all (I'd guess not that many?) FA's get off on the limitations and difficulties that supersize women have.




Duuuuuude. DUUUUUUUUUUUUDE. Would you still be saying that if you weren't with me and living the reality???? A lot of guys find it a turn on before they have to live with it day in and day out.


----------



## BeaBea

fatchicksrockuk said:


> Not all (I'd guess not that many?) FA's get off on the limitations and difficulties that supersize women have.



Agreed absolutely - but it only takes one single tiny stupid/thoughtless comment from someone to cause the damage. I even accept that some of the comments are made with good intentions, but the effect can be devastating. The other issue is that the effect can also be invisible because we never know how many people are on the verge of sharing something who then decide to go back to lurking and to suffering alone.

Tracey xx


----------



## exile in thighville

i hate to disappoint the proposal writers for either, but it's looking more and more like the attempts to top each oth--sorry, please everyone, is going to be more trouble than it's worth and people should go back to sharing private issues the old fashioned way, by making friends and pming them.


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Duuuuuude. DUUUUUUUUUUUUDE. Would you still be saying that if you weren't with me and living the reality???? A lot of guys find it a turn on before they have to live with it day in and day out.



I suppose that is a fair comment. However, the situations mentioned were probably not at the most private end of the scale when it comes to size-related issues.


----------



## BeaBea

exile in thighville said:


> i hate to disappoint the proposal writers for either, but it's looking more and more like the attempts to top each oth--sorry, please everyone, is going to be more trouble than it's worth and people should go back to sharing private issues the old fashioned way, by making friends and pming them.



To be fair, its not really your place to say that. If you're no longer interested just stop reading and/or posting - but if other people still want to pursue it (in whichever variation or direction they want) then let them have at it.


----------



## exile in thighville

BeaBea said:


> To be fair, its not really your place to say that. If you're no longer interested just stop reading and/or posting - but if other people still want to pursue it (in whichever variation or direction they want) then let them have at it.



yeah that's not what i said at all


----------



## pickleman357

butch said:


> Just to clarify, pickleman, by my nickname, I thought it might be clear that I am a butch woman-which, in my case, means I look pretty manly, even as I weigh a lot and have the boobs that go with it. Thus, I look just as boyish as the skinny girls you aren't fond of, yet I am less feminine than they are. I was trying to point out the fallacy of your construct by using my own body as an example.


 
The biggest beef I have is the AGE that they look. Its not the boyishness of it, its the pedophileness. I like women, not little girls


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

pickleman357 said:


> The biggest beef I have is the AGE that they look. Its not the boyishness of it, its the pedophileness. I like women, not little girls




Can I have your shovel please? You don't need it anymore!!!!!!


----------



## Santaclear

Next clownish poster, please?


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Santaclear said:


> Next clownish poster, please?




Ask and ye shall receive.


----------



## Haunted

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Can I have your shovel please? You don't need it anymore!!!!!!




This right here is funny I don't care who you are.


----------



## Mathias

Perhaps this place should be another sticky on the main board.


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

Mathias said:


> Perhaps this place should be another sticky on the main board.



Dear God No!!


----------



## Mathias

Well, like it was said earlier in the discussion I think having another board would create an Us vs them mindset.


----------



## Santaclear

This thread should have it's own board.


----------



## kayrae

Mathias, there already is an "us vs. them" mindset.


----------



## TraciJo67

pickleman357 said:


> The biggest beef I have is the AGE that they look. Its not the boyishness of it, its the pedophileness. I like women, not little girls



I'm starting to wonder if you are deliberately insulting thin women. Again, I don't personally care what you think; it's the expression of thoughts best left unsaid that has me feeling a bit incredulous.

Do you REALLY think that you're going to win favor of ANY BBW here, by insulting thinner women? I can tell you with damn near 100% certainty that this is not what happens. What really happens is that women stumble into this, and it's a HUGE, frantically waving red flag. Unkind to one of us, likely unkind to all of us.


----------



## kayrae

YES. Over and over and over into infinity



TraciJo67 said:


> I'm starting to wonder if you are deliberately insulting thin women. Again, I don't personally care what you think; it's the expression of thoughts best left unsaid that has me feeling a bit incredulous.
> 
> Do you REALLY think that you're going to win favor of ANY BBW here, by insulting thinner women? I can tell you with damn near 100% certainty that this is not what happens. What really happens is that women stumble into this, and it's a HUGE, frantically waving red flag. Unkind to one of us, likely unkind to all of us.


----------



## Donna

pickleman357 said:


> The biggest beef I have is the AGE that they look. Its not the boyishness of it, its the pedophileness. I like women, not little girls



Pickelman, With every post, you seem to try and defend a position that really is not defensible. Every time you try, however, you end up insulting someone, so please stop trying to defend it. And perhaps an apology to the people you have insulted might be in order as well. psst, that's the Christian thing to do.  

It's fine to like what you like, and think what you think...this isn't Orwell's 1984 and contrary to popular belief, there are no thought police here. What you have to remember is that not every thought in your head should be expressed. God gave us a filter between our thoughts and our words for a reason. Engage your filter. As Tracijo so astutely said, "some things are better left unsaid."


----------



## pickleman357

TraciJo67 said:


> I'm starting to wonder if you are deliberately insulting thin women. Again, I don't personally care what you think; it's the expression of thoughts best left unsaid that has me feeling a bit incredulous.
> 
> Do you REALLY think that you're going to win favor of ANY BBW here, by insulting thinner women? I can tell you with damn near 100% certainty that this is not what happens. What really happens is that women stumble into this, and it's a HUGE, frantically waving red flag. Unkind to one of us, likely unkind to all of us.


 

Trust me, I'm not trying to win anyone over. I even admited that people would be offended by me saying that. But I always think that communication is the best way to go.

Even though I get the impression I should just drop it now before I dig myself even deeper...:doh::doh::doh::doh::doh::doh::doh:

I apologize to everyone that has been offending by this... I'm sorry


----------



## cinnamitch

_*has also brought shovels to add to the goods for sale since it seems like there are going to be a whole lotta holes dug here in DIM land*_



SHOVEL-150
BOARDS- 100 EACH
NAILS NOT INCLUDED , FILTER ADVISED FOR POSSIBLE MUD FLINGING AHEAD
ALSO FOR A LIMITED TIME WITH EACH PURCHASE YOU WILL GET AT NO EXTRA CHARGE

The new book by the author of He's Just not into you entitiled
If Women are from Mars and Women are from Venus, Why am i here just staring at Uranus?

subjecttoavailibitytheopinionspresentedinnowayexpresstheopinionofmanagementyourmileagemavaryduetoweatherconditionsalwayswearaseatbeltdontalkwithyourmouthfullandforheavenssakeflushafterusingplease.


----------



## largenlovely

nothing to say here, just wanted to express my agreement with what has already been said.



TraciJo67 said:


> Unkind to one of us, likely unkind to all of us.





Donna said:


> What you have to remember is that not every thought in your head should be expressed. God gave us a filter between our thoughts and our words for a reason. Engage your filter. As Tracijo so astutely said, "some things are better left unsaid."


----------



## FreeThinker

What follows is an excerpt of my response to James' initial PM to me in which he asked for input on the possibility of the introduction of an FA/FFA board:


I agree that there does seem to be a need for discussion of the type you've outlined.


I also believe that such a forum should be visible to all. The reasons for this are many:

 I believe unregistered Guests ("lurkers") may constitute a majority of FAs/FFAs who have trouble "coming out", and could benefit from such a forum.


 BBWs and BHMs excluded from a "private" forum may view it as a place full of "locker-room talk". Keeping such a forum open will help to assuage those fears. We must remember that, unlike the SSBBW forum, this new one may be _FOR_ the FAs and FFAs, but, by nature, will be largely _ABOUT_ the BBWs and BHMs to whom we are attracted. The respect with which they are discussed will be mirrored in the respect they are given in having access to what is said about them.


Existing in a vacuum does not foster knowlege. BBWs and BHMs should be allowed and encouraged to offer their perspective and to ask questions, in much the same way that the Erotic Weight Gain section of the Weight Board operates (which is to say no bashing of the FAs and FFAs, but a respectful dialogue between participants, through which, if not acceptance, at least an understanding may be reached). A bunch of FAs and FFAs talking amongst themselves would be as productive and educational as a bunch of men discussing women (for instance).


In having an open board, BBWs and BHMs may gain an insight into why there seem to be so many FAs and FFAs on the net and so few in real life. They will see that the "closeted" ones are not merely cowards, and that the "open" ones are perhaps more plentiful than might have been imagined, but are hard to identify because we look just like "regular people".
 
I also think this should be a seperate Board (such as Hyde Park, the Lounge, or the Health Board), and not a sub-forum of the Weight Board or the Main Board, as burying it under the heading of another board would both minimize its visibility (important to newcomers and lurkers) and seem to diminish its significance.



The above was written after considering that, just like everybody, FAs and FFAs are often clueless.

Only natural, really, as none of us are born knowing anything.

It seemed logical that some sort of inclusive board could put those who have questions in touch with those who have insight. What I envisioned was a board in which might be found advice on tempering expressions of admiration with respect, tips on correcting attitudes of disapproving family members, pointers on self-honesty, affirmation of an aesthetic that falls outside of the conventional, and a place where those who feel marginalized about their preferences may have a sense of being 'normal', in the presence of like-minded individuals who may be further along on the journey to maturity.

I certainly would not have lent my endorsement to such a board if I thought it would devolve into the sort of exclusionistic, objectifying "Boys' Club" full of 'top-ten lists' and 'such-and-such is sexier than so-and-so' that, let's face it, would be moderated right off this site were it to unfold as some fear it may.

It doesn't have to be that way.

I believe it could be the United Nations of FAs/FFAs and BBWs/BHMs. A forum of education and understanding.

A forum that could only come from DIMENSIONS.


----------



## FaxMachine1234

FreeThinker said:


> What follows is an excerpt of my response to James' initial PM to me in which he asked for input on the possibility of the introduction of an FA/FFA board:
> 
> 
> I agree that there does seem to be a need for discussion of the type you've outlined.
> 
> 
> I also believe that such a forum should be visible to all. The reasons for this are many:
> 
> I believe unregistered Guests ("lurkers") may constitute a majority of FAs/FFAs who have trouble "coming out", and could benefit from such a forum.
> 
> 
> BBWs and BHMs excluded from a "private" forum may view it as a place full of "locker-room talk". Keeping such a forum open will help to assuage those fears. We must remember that, unlike the SSBBW forum, this new one may be _FOR_ the FAs and FFAs, but, by nature, will be largely _ABOUT_ the BBWs and BHMs to whom we are attracted. The respect with which they are discussed will be mirrored in the respect they are given in having access to what is said about them.
> 
> 
> Existing in a vacuum does not foster knowlege. BBWs and BHMs should be allowed and encouraged to offer their perspective and to ask questions, in much the same way that the Erotic Weight Gain section of the Weight Board operates (which is to say no bashing of the FAs and FFAs, but a respectful dialogue between participants, through which, if not acceptance, at least an understanding may be reached). A bunch of FAs and FFAs talking amongst themselves would be as productive and educational as a bunch of men discussing women (for instance).
> 
> 
> In having an open board, BBWs and BHMs may gain an insight into why there seem to be so many FAs and FFAs on the net and so few in real life. They will see that the "closeted" ones are not merely cowards, and that the "open" ones are perhaps more plentiful than might have been imagined, but are hard to identify because we look just like "regular people".
> 
> I also think this should be a seperate Board (such as Hyde Park, the Lounge, or the Health Board), and not a sub-forum of the Weight Board or the Main Board, as burying it under the heading of another board would both minimize its visibility (important to newcomers and lurkers) and seem to diminish its significance.
> 
> 
> 
> The above was written after considering that, just like everybody, FAs and FFAs are often clueless.
> 
> Only natural, really, as none of us are born knowing anything.
> 
> It seemed logical that some sort of inclusive board could put those who have questions in touch with those who have insight. What I envisioned was a board in which might be found advice on tempering expressions of admiration with respect, tips on correcting attitudes of disapproving family members, pointers on self-honesty, affirmation of an aesthetic that falls outside of the conventional, and a place where those who feel marginalized about their preferences may have a sense of being 'normal', in the presence of like-minded individuals who may be further along on the journey to maturity.
> 
> I certainly would not have lent my endorsement to such a board if I thought it would devolve into the sort of exclusionistic, objectifying "Boys' Club" full of 'top-ten lists' and 'such-and-such is sexier than so-and-so' that, let's face it, would be moderated right off this site were it to unfold as some fear it may.
> 
> It doesn't have to be that way.
> 
> I believe it could be the United Nations of FAs/FFAs and BBWs/BHMs. A forum of education and understanding.
> 
> A forum that could only come from DIMENSIONS.




And we should call it..."Main Dimensions Board". Seriously, I was with you until 3, but if non-FAs are not only reading the threads but are regularly participating in them, then I don't how this new board would be any different from the ones we already have.


----------



## FreeThinker

FreeThinker said:


> Existing in a vacuum does not foster knowlege. BBWs and BHMs should be allowed and encouraged to offer their perspective and to ask questions, in much the same way that the Erotic Weight Gain section of the Weight Board operates (which is to say no bashing of the FAs and FFAs, but a respectful dialogue between participants, through which, if not acceptance, at least an understanding may be reached). A bunch of FAs and FFAs talking amongst themselves would be as productive and educational as a bunch of men discussing women (for instance).





Ekim said:


> And we should call it..."Main Dimensions Board". Seriously, I was with you until 3, but if non-FAs are not only reading the threads but are regularly participating in them, then I don't how this new board would be any different from the ones we already have.



In the Erotic Weight Gain (I'll call it EWG for short) section of the Weight Board, for instance, effort is made to tolerate the positions put forward by the proponents of EWG, even though the same post could be seen as inappropriate were it posted on a board not dedicated to that interest group.



Erotic Weight Gain Board Posting Guidelines said:


> *Erotic Weight Gain subforum:* This forum is for use by those interested in all areas of weight gain, feeding and topics directly related to those things. The forum is for positive contributions and participation. In other words, if you have nothing good to say about a topic, or constructive/related pro-topic conversation to add, then you should not be posting and any such posts will be removed or edited as appropriate. Repeat offenders may lose access to this board.



Perhaps posts within a dedicated (but similarly open to all) FA/FFA board could be treated in a similar manner.

The wording may be along the lines of:

This forum is for use by FAs, FFAs, and those interested in discussing their situation. The forum is for positive contributions and participation. In other words, if you have no constructive/related conversation to add, then you should not be posting and any such posts will be removed or edited as appropriate.

Such an approach would ensure that the forum would be open to all, especially that very important group in the case of this proposed board, the Lurkers/Unregistered Guests, who may be among those most in need of the information contained therein.

To keep the board exclusive to FAs/FFAs would be to preach to the choir, and that just puts the choir to sleep.


----------



## FaxMachine1234

FreeThinker said:


> In the Erotic Weight Gain (I'll call it EWG for short) section of the Weight Board, for instance, effort is made to tolerate the positions put forward by the proponents of EWG, even though the same post could be seen as inappropriate were it posted on a board not dedicated to that interest group.
> 
> 
> 
> Perhaps posts within a dedicated (but similarly open to all) FA/FFA board could be treated in a similar manner.
> 
> The wording may be along the lines of:
> 
> This forum is for use by FAs, FFAs, and those interested in discussing their situation. The forum is for positive contributions and participation. In other words, if you have no constructive/related conversation to add, then you should not be posting and any such posts will be removed or edited as appropriate.
> 
> Such an approach would ensure that the forum would be open to all, especially that very important group in the case of this proposed board, the Lurkers/Unregistered Guests, who may be among those most in need of the information contained therein.
> 
> To keep the board exclusive to FAs/FFAs would be to preach to the choir, and that just puts the choir to sleep.



Well, I don't think this board would be for "preaching"; it'd be for FAs to seek advice from other people who are in similar positions to them, and so while I don't think non-FAs should be barred from browsing the board, I think it'd be best that they be discouraged from chiming in since their perspective is just too different. It's the "talking with your buddy" at the bar kind of thing (but stripping away the sexism allegations people were throwing around earlier). There are some matters where it's good to hear from everyone, but we already have two boards for those. Anyway, that's what I was thinking.


----------



## William

From reading the BBW private thread I can see some problems with this topic the (F)FA private thread. Someone on the other thread said that if skinny women were allowed on the BBW female only thread that some one of the different sized ladies would say offend the other size.

Well I can see similar problems on a (F)FA. FAs talking about "real women" have curves or "fat is feminine" offending the FFA thoughts on Fat Men. FFAs talk about "fat is masculine offending the ideas of FAs. 

I know this is coming because skinny women have already been victims of trash talk just in the discussion of if we should even have these boards!!

William 





FreeThinker said:


> In the Erotic Weight Gain (I'll call it EWG for short) section of the Weight Board, for instance, effort is made to tolerate the positions put forward by the proponents of EWG, even though the same post could be seen as inappropriate were it posted on a board not dedicated to that interest group.
> 
> 
> 
> Perhaps posts within a dedicated (but similarly open to all) FA/FFA board could be treated in a similar manner.
> 
> The wording may be along the lines of:
> 
> This forum is for use by FAs, FFAs, and those interested in discussing their situation. The forum is for positive contributions and participation. In other words, if you have no constructive/related conversation to add, then you should not be posting and any such posts will be removed or edited as appropriate.
> 
> Such an approach would ensure that the forum would be open to all, especially that very important group in the case of this proposed board, the Lurkers/Unregistered Guests, who may be among those most in need of the information contained therein.
> 
> To keep the board exclusive to FAs/FFAs would be to preach to the choir, and that just puts the choir to sleep.


----------



## FaxMachine1234

William said:


> From reading the BBW private thread I can see some problems with this topic the (F)FA private thread. Someone on the other thread said that if skinny women were allowed on the BBW female only thread that some one of the different sized ladies would say offend the other size.
> 
> Well I can see similar problems on a (F)FA. FAs talking about "real women" have curves or "fat is feminine" offending the FFA thoughts on Fat Men. FFAs talk about "fat is masculine offending the ideas of FAs.
> 
> I know this is coming because skinny women have already been victims of trash talk just in the discussion of if we should even have these boards!!
> 
> William



Um, is this an existing problem on the boards? We already have FAs and FFAs intermingling everywhere here.


----------



## William

Well in this new setup they become concentrated problems, it was the reason that sub-boards were created in the first place.

William



Ekim said:


> Um, is this an existing problem on the boards? We already have FAs and FFAs intermingling everywhere here.


----------



## pickleman357

William said:


> Well in this new setup they become concentrated problems, it was the reason that sub-boards were created in the first place.
> 
> William


 

Concentrated problems only lead to solutions. Are you saying we should keep it the way it is, or do our best to fix it?


----------



## William

I do not think that these subjects should stew in a private board, nothing good will come of it. 

Before Fat Men really started participating in Fat Acceptance and Fat Admiration the foundations of the Fat Community was created and it was was very one sided and gender biased. These problems still persist and cause problems. 

I think that modern Fat Acceptance and Fat Admiration is a better way. Having these discussions out in the open where all parties can contribute and all parties try their best to respect the existence of others.

William






pickleman357 said:


> Concentrated problems only lead to solutions. Are you saying we should keep it the way it is, or do our best to fix it?


----------



## pickleman357

William said:


> I do not think that these subjects should stew in a private board, nothing good will come of it.
> 
> Before Fat Men really started participating in Fat Acceptance and Fat Admiration the foundations of the Fat Community was created and it was was very one sided and gender biased. These problems still persist and cause problems.
> 
> I think that modern Fat Acceptance and Fat Admiration is a better way. Having these discussions out in the open where all parties can contribute and all parties try their best to respect the existence of others.
> 
> William


 
I thought it was already determinded that having it private was a bad idea.


----------



## William

With a wild thread who knows what is decided 

If so then, never mind 

Wait Second Thought

The majority of FAs and FFAs will be addressing issues with BBWs and BHMs (apples and oranges), if anything Dimensions has shown us that it takes tact not to insult one gender when addressing qualities that both genders share. Someone one the private BBW thread had the best idea, separate boards for everyone. 

William




pickleman357 said:


> I thought it was already determinded that having it private was a bad idea.


----------



## kioewen

TraciJo67 said:


> I'm starting to wonder if you are deliberately insulting thin women. Again, I don't personally care what you think; it's the expression of thoughts best left unsaid that has me feeling a bit incredulous.
> 
> Do you REALLY think that you're going to win favor of ANY BBW here, by insulting thinner women? I can tell you with damn near 100% certainty that this is not what happens. What really happens is that women stumble into this, and it's a HUGE, frantically waving red flag. Unkind to one of us, likely unkind to all of us.



This is very interesting as two separate issues, represented in the two paragraphs.

As to the point in the first one, I don't agree that these are thoughts "best left unsaid," and I'm troubled by any attempt to encourage people not to speak their mind (short of whatever is, in fact, against the law). To have someone say that they find underweight women unattractive seems a pretty mild comment, and an honest one. Far from being attacked, one would think that it would be welcomed as an insight into how a portion of the population really thinks. If FAs can learn from BBWs how they feel, BBWs can learn from FAs how they feel. It is (or should be) a two-way street.

Is it better to say, "I don't want you to say that?" That won't kill the opinion -- only the expression of the opinion. Why wouldn't women want to learn how the men who admire them actually feel, rather than trying to get them to pretend that they don't feel a certain way?

But I'm more puzzled by the point in the second paragraph. Because first of all, many thin women are completely comfortable bashing full-figured women. In fact they relish it. They bond over it.

It's like saying "Don't you dare bully the person who has been bullying me." One would think that a person would like to see their bully get some of theirs in return. After all, it might teach the bully a lesson in what it feels like, and prompt them to stop.

And second of all, why this extrapolation, "Unkind to one of us, likely unkind to all of us"? I personally think it's a false assumption (because if a man likes curvy girls, he'll act favourably toward them -- or at least that's my belief). 

But let's leave aside whether the premise right or wrong, since it can't be proven one way or the other. The important question is, why do women believe this? Why _do _they jump to this conclusion -- "Unkind to one of us, likely unkind to all of us" -- rather than, "Since he doesn't like emaciated girls, he's more likely to really appreciate my curvy/large/whatever figure." The latter seems the more logical assumption, no?


----------



## TraciJo67

kioewen said:


> This is very interesting as two separate issues, represented in the two paragraphs.
> 
> As to the point in the first one, I don't agree that these are thoughts "best left unsaid," and I'm troubled by any attempt to encourage people not to speak their mind (short of whatever is, in fact, against the law). To have someone say that they find underweight women unattractive seems a pretty mild comment, and an honest one. Far from being attacked, one would think that it would be welcomed as an insight into how a portion of the population really thinks. If FAs can learn from BBWs how they feel, BBWs can learn from FAs how they feel. It is (or should be) a two-way street.
> 
> Is it better to say, "I don't want you to say that?" That won't kill the opinion -- only the expression of the opinion. Why wouldn't women want to learn how the men who admire them actually feel, rather than trying to get them to pretend that they don't feel a certain way?
> 
> But I'm more puzzled by the point in the second paragraph. Because first of all, many thin women are completely comfortable bashing full-figured women. In fact they relish it. They bond over it.
> 
> It's like saying "Don't you dare bully the person who has been bullying me." One would think that a person would like to see their bully get some of theirs in return. After all, it might teach the bully a lesson in what it feels like, and prompt them to stop.
> 
> And second of all, why this extrapolation, "Unkind to one of us, likely unkind to all of us"? I personally think it's a false assumption (because if a man likes curvy girls, he'll act favourably toward them -- or at least that's my belief).
> 
> But let's leave aside whether the premise right or wrong, since it can't be proven one way or the other. The important question is, why do women believe this? *Why do they jump to this conclusion -- "Unkind to one of us, likely unkind to all of us" -- rather than, "Since he doesn't like emaciated girls, he's more likely to really appreciate my curvy/large/whatever figure." The latter seems the more logical assumption, no*?




Actually, no. The latter is a flawed assumption, in my mind. I've seldom met a person who could compartmentalize in that way. A person who will be unkind to someone else, based only on that other person's physical appearance, is likely to be just as much of a jerk to anyone. Note that I'm referring to an action, not a feeling. We can't always help what we *feel*. We can always control how we express those feelings. I know that there is a physical type that I'm not generally attracted to. Here is the difference between myself, and someone who compares thin women to "anorexic boys" (or the thought of sex with a thin woman as akin to pedophilia): I do not assume that there is ANYTHING WRONG with the type that I'm not attracted to. The issue exists with ME, and with what I'm hard-wired for. 

I'm not proposing that we choke his expression of free speech. He has a right to say exactly what he wants to say. I have an equal right to provide feedback, based on how I interpret the message. 

I'm not at all troubled by the concept of encouraging people not to speak their minds. I absolutely believe that some things are best left unspoken. I don't want to hear intolerance, bigotry, unkind remarks about one's physical appearance, etc. I refuse to allow the speaker carte blanche, when I encounter this (either online or IRL). To me, silence = a form of complicity. I choose how I will react, based on the circumstances (I'm not going to go all verbal kung-fu on a colleague, no matter how much I may want to, but I can and do make it clear that I will tolerate no further such expression, and will take the matter up the chain of command if necessary). 

Finally, I wanted to respond to the highlighted part of your message, but really -- I think it may be more compelling to hear feedback from other women. Hopefully, they'll provide it.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

:doh::doh:

Uh, yeah, so, just want to get this straight. So, acceptance only goes one way? Well, since they bash us, we'll bash them. That'll work. Since we're technically already bigger size wise, why don't we up the maturity level as well? 

I cannot stress enough the fact that there are THIN WOMEN ON THIS WEBSITE WHO ARE FAS AND THEY ARE BEING TRASHED BY BEING TOLD THEY LOOK LIKE LITTLE BOYS WITH TITS AND MAKE UP. So, yeah, FILTER, because do we really need to alienate those who come here looking for acceptance in their preference only to find that it's just as judgemental here as it is anywhere else? 

Is it not possible to praise something without tearing down others?


----------



## BeaBea

kioewen said:


> But I'm more puzzled by the point in the second paragraph. Because first of all, many thin women are completely comfortable bashing full-figured women. In fact they relish it. They bond over it.
> 
> It's like saying "Don't you dare bully the person who has been bullying me." One would think that a person would like to see their bully get some of theirs in return. After all, it might teach the bully a lesson in what it feels like, and prompt them to stop.



I would ABSOLUTELY say "Don't you dare bully the person who has been bullying me."

Bullying is wrong, regardless of who does it or why. To suggest that it be used to teach someone a lesson would mean I had to stoop to that level - and I wont. I also wont thank or support anyone who bullies someone else in my name. Some people can be educated through reasoned debate but others will never be able to admit that big might possibly be beautiful. Thats ok, its their loss, not mine. To paraphrase badly - while I might not be able to agree with their views I will defend to the death their right to hold them.

On another note, I found the quoted parts of your message to be some of the most disturbing and juvenile, and least civilised, opinions I've read here on Dims. You're entitled to your opinion of course, but if it was prevalent here at Dimensions then I'd be gone in a heartbeat. Thank heavens its not! 

Tracey


----------



## SamanthaNY

kioewen said:


> As to the point in the first one, I don't agree that these are thoughts "best left unsaid," and I'm troubled by any attempt to encourage people not to speak their mind (short of whatever is, in fact, against the law).


No one is seeking to prevent people from speaking their minds. As has been said before, it's the _manner_ of expression that some find troubling.


kioewen said:


> To have someone say that they find underweight women unattractive seems a pretty mild comment


Yup. And that's *not* what he said. Not at all. He doesn't stop at calling them unattractive (and that would be fine, btw) - he equates them with being unfemale ("men with tits and makeup", "[not women, but] little girls"), like they're betraying their very gender, and that seems to bother ("pedophileness") him. 


kioewen said:


> and an honest one. Far from being attacked, one would think that it would be welcomed as an insight into how a portion of the population really thinks. If FAs can learn from BBWs how they feel, BBWs can learn from FAs how they feel. It is (or should be) a two-way street.


Loving and wanting a fat body does not automatically mean you're disgusted by a thin one. 


kioewen said:


> Because first of all, many thin women are completely comfortable bashing full-figured women. In fact they relish it. They bond over it.


Does that make it right? Why would it be acceptable to bash ANY body type. The answer is that it's not. 



kioewen said:


> It's like saying "Don't you dare bully the person who has been bullying me." One would think that a person would like to see their bully get some of theirs in return. After all, it might teach the bully a lesson in what it feels like, and prompt them to stop.


That's schoolyard reasoning. Sure, there's some appeal to revenge, but in the end, it just furthers the problem. The way to teach people isn't to play their game, it's to show them the game is wrong. 


kioewen said:


> "Since he doesn't like emaciated girls, he's more likely to really appreciate my curvy/large/whatever figure." The latter seems the more logical assumption, no?


No. NO. Thin women aren't the opposite of fat women... they're just a different body type. The point isn't that he doesn't like them - the point is that he verbalizes it in derogatory, demeaning ways. That part is not only unnecessary, but sends up smoke signals* that there's something more troubling than just a 'certain' preference there.

*I don't think pickleman357 harbors any ill will towards thin women. I think he just took his description of them (as he sees it) too far.


----------



## Observer

Just for the record, nothing regarding the proposed forum, including public vs private vs possibly both, status has been "decided" at this point. In this thread we're all commentators and advisors and the same applies to the mods. 

Establishing new forums is a Webmaster level decision issue and he is not in town. But everyone may be assured that before his departure he received plenty of advice and counsel! We can be confident that his decision won't be made in a vacuum.




.


----------



## Carl1h

BothGunsBlazing said:


> :doh::doh:
> THEY LOOK LIKE LITTLE BOYS WITH TITS AND MAKE UP.



I look like a big woman with small tits a beard and a penis.

or is it?

I look like a big little girl with small tits a beard and a penis.

or maybe?

I look like a very large little boy with small tits a beard and a penis.


----------



## kioewen

TraciJo67 said:


> I'm not at all troubled by the concept of encouraging people not to speak their minds. I absolutely believe that some things are best left unspoken. I don't want to hear intolerance, bigotry, unkind remarks about one's physical appearance, etc. I refuse to allow the speaker carte blanche, when I encounter this (either online or IRL). To me, silence = a form of complicity. I choose how I will react, based on the circumstances (I'm not going to go all verbal kung-fu on a colleague, no matter how much I may want to, but I can and do make it clear that I will tolerate no further such expression, and will take the matter up the chain of command if necessary).



That illustrates something important, I think. I voted in favour of the FA board, although I find the term "FA" loathsome. However, if the new board is open to all, I think it may be an exercise in futility. It will not be free of any of the conflicts that exist here on the main board. (Unless conflict is desired -- if it is, then this post is moot.) I think an FA board will be exactly like this thread, except split into separate discussions. And if an FA board replacates the discussions that already exist on the main board, I don't see the value immediately.

A closed board would be the only way to have discussions different than those that exist on the main board. But heaven only knows how one might determine who is "in" or "out." Actually, that might be the challenging question, and the one that it would be best to discuss, IMO -- if it is a closed board, who would be a member, or more contentiously, who would not?


----------



## katorade

kioewen said:


> This is very interesting as two separate issues, represented in the two paragraphs.
> 
> As to the point in the first one, I don't agree that these are thoughts "best left unsaid," and I'm troubled by any attempt to encourage people not to speak their mind (short of whatever is, in fact, against the law). To have someone say that they find underweight women unattractive seems a pretty mild comment, and an honest one. Far from being attacked, one would think that it would be welcomed as an insight into how a portion of the population really thinks. If FAs can learn from BBWs how they feel, BBWs can learn from FAs how they feel. It is (or should be) a two-way street.
> 
> The issue with that is that not all FAs feel that way, and the same can be said for BBWs. Leaving things left unsaid doesn't mean anyone's voice is being stifled, there's just a level of consideration that should be taken for the contributing members of this board, ESPECIALLY since this is a SIZE acceptance site. There are thin women here who I'm sure feel marginalized and unwanted by a lot of existing posts referring to how much better life is as a BBW and how it must suck to be skinny. While some BBWs find this empowering, a lot of us just see it as comparing apples to oranges.
> 
> Is it better to say, "I don't want you to say that?" That won't kill the opinion -- only the expression of the opinion. Why wouldn't women want to learn how the men who admire them actually feel, rather than trying to get them to pretend that they don't feel a certain way?
> 
> Someone can tell me exactly how they feel about me without bringing up another person as a comparison. It's that simple. Not to constantly pick on pickle (hee hee), but since his line is the running example, I'll use that. It's fully possible to say something like "I just prefer the curves and softness of a larger woman, I find them extremely feminine and sexy" WITHOUT saying "and I think thin girls look like little boys." Leaving off the last part doesn't make the first any more untrue.
> 
> But I'm more puzzled by the point in the second paragraph. Because first of all, many thin women are completely comfortable bashing full-figured women. In fact they relish it. They bond over it.
> 
> It's like saying "Don't you dare bully the person who has been bullying me." One would think that a person would like to see their bully get some of theirs in return. After all, it might teach the bully a lesson in what it feels like, and prompt them to stop.
> 
> While many thin women might bash larger ones, there are many thin women who DON'T, and they fall under the line of fire when the same insults are slung about. There are women here who are thin that love the full-figured body. There are women here who are thin that wish they were bigger. There are women here who are thin who USED to be larger. There are thin women outside of this board that harbor no ill will towards fat people. Insulting them is as constructive as them insulting us. There's a thing called being a bigger person, and ironically, you don't have to be fat to do it.
> 
> And second of all, why this extrapolation, "Unkind to one of us, likely unkind to all of us"? I personally think it's a false assumption (because if a man likes curvy girls, he'll act favourably toward them -- or at least that's my belief).
> 
> But let's leave aside whether the premise right or wrong, since it can't be proven one way or the other. The important question is, why do women believe this? Why _do _they jump to this conclusion -- "Unkind to one of us, likely unkind to all of us" -- rather than, "Since he doesn't like emaciated girls, he's more likely to really appreciate my curvy/large/whatever figure." The latter seems the more logical assumption, no?



That would be the simplest conclusion, but it's entirely untrue. There are TONS of men/women who like fat men/women but act unfavorably towards them, and it has nothing to do with their size. There's nothing that says that because someone fits my preferred body type I am going to be nice to them. There's also no "rule" about body preference. If someone doesn't like skinny girls, maybe he likes them muscular. Maybe he likes them thin, but with huge knockers. Maybe he likes them curvy, but not overweight. There's a myriad of bodies that aren't "thin" or "fat", and even in those borders, there's a million different types of bodies.

The "unkind to one of us, likely unkind to all of us" I believe is referring to the fact that when someone shares their views in that specific manner, then it's very likely that they judge a lot of other things in their life in the same manner, and just because you fit their preference doesn't mean you won't be disregarded by them for something else.


----------



## TotallyReal

SamanthaNY said:


> No one is seeking to prevent people from speaking their minds. As has been said before, it's the _manner_ of expression that some find troubling.
> 
> Yup. And that's *not* what he said. Not at all. He doesn't stop at calling them unattractive (and that would be fine, btw) - he equates them with being unfemale ("men with tits and makeup", "[not women, but] little girls"), like they're betraying their very gender, and that seems to bother ("pedophileness") him.
> 
> Loving and wanting a fat body does not automatically mean you're disgusted by a thin one.
> 
> Does that make it right? Why would it be acceptable to bash ANY body type. The answer is that it's not.
> 
> 
> That's schoolyard reasoning. Sure, there's some appeal to revenge, but in the end, it just furthers the problem. The way to teach people isn't to play their game, it's to show them the game is wrong.
> 
> No. NO. Thin women aren't the opposite of fat women... they're just a different body type. The point isn't that he doesn't like them - the point is that he verbalizes it in derogatory, demeaning ways. That part is not only unnecessary, but sends up smoke signals* that there's something more troubling than just a 'certain' preference there.
> 
> *I don't think pickleman357 harbors any ill will towards thin women. I think he just took his description of them (as he sees it) too far.


----------



## Paquito

pickleman357 said:


> The biggest beef I have is the AGE that they look. Its not the boyishness of it, its the pedophileness. I like women, not little girls



You took it a lil too far man. It's one thing to have a preference for fat women, but to be derogatory towards thin ones, its too much. I know you might have said this to be funny too, but... there's a line. Alot of thin women are members of this site, and that's just rude to call them immature, body wise.
This site is here to promote beauty at all sizes and fight against prejudices. Please keep that in mind.


----------



## SamanthaNY

TotallyReal said:


>


----------



## pickleman357

I think I stirred up a bit of a hornets nest

*dives for cover*

I'm sorry. I'll say it again, *I'm sorry!!*

Most skinny women that I have seen are a beautiful as a rose. You just won't see me humping the garden anytime soon.




See, its this kind of topic that would be best suited in an f/fa board! Right?


----------



## mszwebs

Carl1h said:


> I look like a big woman with small tits a beard and a penis.
> 
> or is it?
> 
> I look like a big little girl with small tits a beard and a penis.
> 
> or maybe?
> 
> I look like a very large little boy with small tits a beard and a penis.



Carl, 

I'm not sure if it was your intention, but quoting that and ONLY that made it seem as though BGB was the one saying that in the first place.

For anyone not following along, the tits and make-up comment was stated by a different poster, who...lacked better words lol. REALLY lacked better words.

Regardless, it was a rather selective quote, yes? And possibly making more drama than we already have, since he was defending those in question?

Apologies if I just misinterpreted the post, as at this point in the thread, we're all a little on edge. Well, at least I am lol.


----------



## mossystate

pickleman357 said:


> See, its this kind of topic that would be best suited in an f/fa board! Right?



How to diss people who you don't find attractive? Huh?

Not sure if it is possible, but I do believe that a bunch of flowers just rolled their eyes.


----------



## pickleman357

mossystate said:


> How to diss people who you don't find attractive? Huh?
> 
> Not sure if it is possible, but I do believe that a bunch of flowers just rolled their eyes.


 
No, so morons like me can be properly educated in thought filters..... :doh:


----------



## stan_der_man

pickleman357 said:


> ...
> 
> Most skinny women that I have seen are a beautiful as a rose. You just won't see me humping the garden anytime soon.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> See, its this kind of topic that would be best suited in an f/fa board! Right?



If you do hump a rose garden Mr. Pickleman, I would suggest wearing an iron condom... 

Thorns dude... thorns.


BTW... This is one of many nuggets of advice I'll give to the FAs if there is ever such a board.


----------



## SamanthaNY

pickleman357 said:


> I think I stirred up a bit of a hornets nest
> 
> *dives for cover*
> 
> I'm sorry. I'll say it again, *I'm sorry!!*
> 
> Most skinny women that I have seen are a beautiful as a rose. You just won't see me humping the garden anytime soon.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> See, its this kind of topic that would be best suited in an f/fa board! Right?



It's nice that you've apologized and been quite good about it all. Be honest please... do you understand the objections to what you said? Aside from just pissing off a bunch of women... do you understand why?


----------



## cinnamitch

Carl1h said:


> I look like a big woman with small tits a beard and a penis.
> 
> or is it?
> 
> I look like a big little girl with small tits a beard and a penis.
> 
> or maybe?
> 
> I look like a very large little boy with small tits a beard and a penis.




As long as penis is in the mix somehow, it's all good


----------



## pickleman357

SamanthaNY said:


> It's nice that you've apologized and been quite good about it all. Be honest please... do you understand the objections to what you said? Aside from just pissing off a bunch of women... do you understand why?


 
Yes, absolutely. Saying what I said, I'm being just like the prejudice media or whom ever that bashes fat people. Becoming the people that bug me the most, is terrible.

So yes, I am truely sorry.


----------



## FaxMachine1234

So the "Yes" vote is still leading at 52%...does that mean anything practical or was the poll just for statistical fun?


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

cinnamitch said:


> As long as penis is in the mix somehow, it's all good



I admire how you think..............



kioewen said:


> As to the point in the first one, I don't agree that these are thoughts "best left unsaid," and I'm troubled by any attempt to encourage people not to speak their mind (short of whatever is, in fact, against the law). To have someone say that they find underweight women unattractive seems a pretty mild comment, and an honest one. Far from being attacked, one would think that it would be welcomed as an insight into how a portion of the population really thinks.
> 
> But I'm more puzzled by the point in the second paragraph. Because first of all, many thin women are completely comfortable bashing full-figured women. In fact they relish it. They bond over it.
> 
> It's like saying "Don't you dare bully the person who has been bullying me." One would think that a person would like to see their bully get some of theirs in return. After all, it might teach the bully a lesson in what it feels like, and prompt them to stop.



The thin women on this board....they aren't allowed to bash fat people. I have seen anything along those lines....even UNINTENTIONAL, shut down hard and fast. So why wouldn't it be fair to say that we should stfu and NOT bash them back? 
This seems to fit in with your line of thinking, doesn't it?


----------



## Carl1h

I see what you're saying and you are correct, if someone reads only my post they would think that BGB was saying that and he wasn't. I'm not really worried about that, I think the posts here plainly show that people know who said what. And while I truly believe that people *should* go through the boards reading only my posts, I also truly doubt that anyone actually does.

I quoted BGB because I felt that the absurdity that I saw in what was a statement that some female people are basically male people with female gender attributes when those female gender attributes are usually considered to be exactly what defines them as being female backed up his criticism of the statement. Not only is it offensive, but it is absurd as well.

Besides which, isn't it true that biologically speaking all males start as females and are then developed (transformed? mutated?) into males in the womb? So, female should be the default physical gender state that is used to describe everything else, right?

Would it now be carrying this too far if I were to say that men, like BGB and his male ilk, all look to me like females that due to some difference in their genetic code were exposed to a different mix of hormones in the womb? Because I wouldn't want to carry anything too far in this thread.



mszwebs said:


> Carl,
> 
> I'm not sure if it was your intention, but quoting that and ONLY that made it seem as though BGB was the one saying that in the first place.
> 
> For anyone not following along, the tits and make-up comment was stated by a different poster, who...lacked better words lol. REALLY lacked better words.
> 
> Regardless, it was a rather selective quote, yes? And possibly making more drama than we already have, since he was defending those in question?
> 
> Apologies if I just misinterpreted the post, as at this point in the thread, we're all a little on edge. Well, at least I am lol.


----------



## mszwebs

Carl1h said:


> I see what you're saying and you are correct, if someone reads only my post they would think that BGB was saying that and he wasn't. I'm not really worried about that, I think the posts here plainly show that people know who said what. And while I truly believe that people *should* go through the boards reading only my posts, I also truly doubt that anyone actually does.
> 
> I quoted BGB because I felt that the absurdity that I saw in what was a statement that some female people are basically male people with female gender attributes when those female gender attributes are usually considered to be exactly what defines them as being female backed up his criticism of the statement. Not only is it offensive, but it is absurd as well.
> 
> Besides which, isn't it true that biologically speaking all males start as females and are then developed (transformed? mutated?) into males in the womb? So, female should be the default physical gender state that is used to describe everything else, right?
> 
> Would it now be carrying this too far if I were to say that men, like BGB and his male ilk, all look to me like females that due to some difference in their genetic code were exposed to a different mix of hormones in the womb? Because I wouldn't want to carry anything too far in this thread.



*At the risk of exposing my self for the uneducated girl that apparently I really am (shit!)*

Dumb it down, Freud...

I have no idea what the hell you're talking about.


Small words please. Approach it as if I were still in the womb, contemplating mutation. :bow:


----------



## Tina

kioewen said:


> But I'm more puzzled by the point in the second paragraph. Because first of all, *many thin women are completely comfortable bashing full-figured women. In fact they relish it. They bond over it.*
> 
> It's like saying "Don't you dare bully the person who has been bullying me." *One would think that a person would like to see their bully get some of theirs in return.* After all, it might teach the bully a lesson in what it feels like, and prompt them to stop.


I tried to post this earlier, but the server was slow and I was too busy, so now the thread is pages beyond and this might have already been said for all I know.

This is totally a lame justification. It is nothing more than giving yourself permission to be hateful, IMO. 

To the bolded comments, I would say, "not (with _very_ few exceptions) the thin women here!" We have many thin female supporters who are darling women and lovely to us. They do not deserve this treatment and there is no excuse you can use to try to justify hateful words towards them. Frankly, I myself will decide when I deem that some fat-hating jerk needs the same treatment -- in my own life and in my own way. You do not get to decide this for me and the rest of the fat women here.

You need to back off and quit the nastiness towards our thin sisters on this board.


----------



## stan_der_man

Ekim said:


> So the "Yes" vote is still leading at 52%...does that mean anything practical or was the poll just for statistical fun?



Considering that The Webmaster makes the final decision regardless... this is all nothing more than "statistical fun" as you put it.


----------



## tonynyc

fa_man_stan said:


> Considering that The Webmaster makes the final decision regardless... this is all nothing more than "statistical fun" as you put it.



*Stan:
Kind of appropiate to have some "statistical fun" what better way to honor
 Square Root Day *


----------



## kayrae

hahahahahahahaaaaa


----------



## kioewen

Tina said:


> This is totally a lame justification. It is nothing more than giving yourself permission to be hateful, IMO.


I am indeed intrigued by this question, which has ramifications far outside this specific topic, of course -- is one justified being hateful towards those who are hateful? Before one too quickly says no, let's remember that many people are hateful towards racists, which is an example of being hateful towards those who are hateful. I think the "Is one justified in being hateful towards hateful? question is not an easy yes or no.



Tina said:


> To the bolded comments, I would say, "not (with _very_ few exceptions) the thin women here!"
> 
> You need to back off and quit the nastiness towards our thin sisters on this board.


And of course I never said anything about the thin women here, whom I know nothing about. I said "many thin women," which is true. It is beyond question that many thin women are hateful towards full-figured women. Just read fashion forums. If it's better to say "some" instead of "many," very well, since anecdotal observation is by nature hard to quantify.



Tina said:


> Frankly, I myself will decide when I deem that some fat-hating jerk needs the same treatment -- in my own life and in my own way. You do not get to decide this for me and the rest of the fat women here.


Now, this is the part that is genuinely interesting, and the kind of topic that an FA forum could cover -- "Does a full-figured woman appreciate a man standing up for her, when she is insulted for her size?" Some do not. But how widespread is that feeling? Are there any who appreciate it? And what kind of response is appreciated, and what kind isn't? Undoubtedly it will vary greatly from person to person, but are there any generalizations that can be made?

I have a feeling that's the sort of topic that may have been covered on the main board, though, which comes back to the earlier point: If an FA board is going to have any use, it would need to be somehow exclusive ("Ah, but how?"), or no new information will be shared, and it will simply duplicate the main board.


----------



## pickleman357

kioewen said:


> Now, this is the part that is genuinely interesting, and the kind of topic that an FA forum could cover -- "Does a full-figured woman appreciate a man standing up for her, when she is insulted for her size?" Some do not. But how widespread is that feeling? Are there any who appreciate it? And what kind of response is appreciated, and what kind isn't? Undoubtedly it will vary greatly from person to person, but are there any generalizations that can be made?


 
That would definatly be interesting to me. Actually, a very good point to keep the f/fa board open to all.
I really want to see responces to this!


----------



## FaxMachine1234

kioewen said:


> And of course I never said anything about the thin women here, whom I know nothing about. I said "many thin women," which is true. It is beyond question that many thin women are hateful towards full-figured women. Just read fashion forums. If it's better to say "some" instead of "many," very well, since anecdotal observation is by nature hard to quantify.



"Anecdotaly", in life I've seen a lot more insults towards fat people from thin men than thin women, which is why I can't relate to the bashing of thin women by some of the people on this board. There are a lot of catty women, sure, but hardly enough (in my experience) to sustain the stereotype some of the overzealous FAs here and elsewhere tend to perpetrate.


----------



## Tina

kioewen said:


> And of course I never said anything about the thin women here, whom I know nothing about. I said "many thin women," which is true. It is beyond question that many thin women are hateful towards full-figured women. Just read fashion forums. If it's better to say "some" instead of "many," very well, since anecdotal observation is by nature hard to quantify.


You're speaking generally, but you're casting a wide net around this place when you by inference also indict thin women here. We aren't talking about the world at large right here and now, we're talking about Dimensions, and your words are inflammatory.



> Now, this is the part that is genuinely interesting, and the kind of topic that an FA forum could cover -- "Does a full-figured woman appreciate a man standing up for her, when she is insulted for her size?" Some do not. But how widespread is that feeling? Are there any who appreciate it? And what kind of response is appreciated, and what kind isn't? Undoubtedly it will vary greatly from person to person, but are there any generalizations that can be made?


I think most women feel we can stand up for ourselves and don't NEED a man to stand up for us. However, when the situation is appropriate, it's not a bad thing. But there are ways to do it and ways not to. Exacerbating a situation by throwing around generalized insults is one of the ways not to do it.

You want to know how? Ask Phil/Wrestlingguy; he's an expert on that one. There really is no one way, though it's best not to actually embarrass the woman in the process of sticking up for her. You don't seem to get the concept that has been explained to you about how you don't have to insult one in order to praise or stick up for another. Eh.

ETA: I'm just talking for myself here, not as a moderator.


----------



## kayrae

This is a *size acceptance site*. It is not anyone's right to bash skinny women. As a fat woman, I take offense that you would even suggest that it's OK. It's not, period. 



kioewen said:


> "Is one justified in being hateful towards hateful? question is not an easy yes or no.



It *is* an easy yes and no answer. It's no. Take the moral high ground, dude.



kioewen said:


> "Does a full-figured woman appreciate a man standing up for her, when she is insulted for her size?" Some do not. But how widespread is that feeling? Are there any who appreciate it? And what kind of response is appreciated, and what kind isn't? Undoubtedly it will vary greatly from person to person, but are there any generalizations that can be made?



As a fat woman, I would appreciate it if a man stood up for me when I'm insulted for my size; however, in this particular argument, a fat woman wasn't insulted here. On the other hand, skinny women, in general, were the ones insulted.


----------



## Blackjack

kayrae said:


> This is a *size acceptance site*. It is not anyone's right to bash skinny women.



And in case you missed it the first time



kayrae said:


> This is a *size acceptance site*. It is not anyone's right to bash skinny women.





kayrae said:


> This is a *size acceptance site*. It is not anyone's right to bash skinny women.





kayrae said:


> This is a *size acceptance site*. It is not anyone's right to bash skinny women.





kayrae said:


> This is a *size acceptance site*. It is not anyone's right to bash skinny women.


----------



## stan_der_man

tonynyc said:


> *Stan:
> Kind of appropiate to have some "statistical fun" what better way to honor
> Square Root Day *



And Pi Day is just around the corner! March 14th... The pies that the folks bring from our Math Dept. bring each year to celebrate are always delish!


----------



## Santaclear

Getting back to topic, I think all women look like sexless trout.


----------



## kayrae

Oooh... I'm going to tell Fascinita!


----------



## Santaclear

All men look like teenage donkeys.

It's kinda gross if you think about it.


----------



## Cors

Santaclear said:


> Getting back to topic, I think all women look like sexless trout.





Santaclear said:


> All men look like teenage donkeys.
> 
> It's kinda gross if you think about it.



What turns you on then?


----------



## Santaclear

Cors said:


> What turns you on then?



Confidence.


----------



## kayrae

Hahahaha... I need to hang out with you soon. I was disappointed that you slept through the SF meet-up.


----------



## Santaclear

kayrae said:


> Hahahaha... I need to hang out with you soon. I was disappointed that you slept through the SF meet-up.



Yeah, I was sad to have missed it. Definitely will try to make the next one.


----------



## furious styles

Santaclear said:


> Yeah, I was sad to have missed it. Definitely will try to make the next one.



come to sacramento!


----------



## TotallyReal




----------



## FaxMachine1234

TotallyReal said:


>



That's right, the correct answer to "Do you think DIMS should have an FA board?" is, in fact, "Dragonball Z". That's also the correct answer to "what color is the moon?" and "can ostriches fly?"


----------



## Victim

I think Vegeta is looking for a SSBBW (Super Saiyan Big Beautiful Woman)


----------



## TotallyReal

Ekim said:


> That's right, the correct answer to "Do you think DIMS should have an FA board?" is, in fact, "Dragonball Z". That's also the correct answer to "what color is the moon?" and "can ostriches fly?"








View attachment DBZ-----------Vegeta-Finger-ad_48x48_c2.JPG


----------



## FaxMachine1234

Ah, well that definitely clears things up.


----------



## katorade

Ekim said:


> Ah, well that definitely clears things up.



. <--- There, it's an even smaller picture to make it eeeeeeeeven clearer.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

katorade said:


> . <--- There, it's an even smaller picture to make it eeeeeeeeven clearer.




I see unicorns and rainbows and super sized anime chicks.  Sounds like heaven!


----------



## wrench13

Page 1 - hotly debated germain discussion
Page 31 - micropics of Vegita ( easily the most intereting DBZ charactor when he's wearing his own clothes) and mention of Supersize Anime. 

Thats why I love Dims and keep reading!

FWIW - private male FA and seperate private FFA boards. In my opinion.


----------



## pickleman357

wrench13 said:


> FWIW - private male FA and seperate private FFA boards. In my opinion.


 
But why though? Why seperate and private boards instead of one public one? How did you come to that conclusion?


----------



## mergirl

Santaclear said:


> Getting back to topic, I think all women look like sexless trout.


You saying trout aint sexy?? weirdo!!


----------



## kioewen

pickleman357 said:


> But why though? Why seperate and private boards instead of one public one? How did you come to that conclusion?



I think this whole thread supports that conclusion.

1. A pubilc board will simply replicate the same discussions, with the same answers, and the same self-censorship that exists on the main board. Therefore, it would be redundant.

Now, whether or not self-censorship is a good thing is a separate issue (and as you've seen, various posters have argued for it). But on a public board, it will exist. On a private board, there's much more chance that topics will come up that don't come up on public boards, and that would make the whole thing worthwhile.

2. Gender separation? That's a tougher one to argue for, but I'd agree that it would be beneficial. Generally, some topics that may offend one gender might not offend the other, and vice versa, so again, the topics would be more diverse, and opinions more freely expressed.


----------



## pickleman357

kioewen said:


> I think this whole thread supports that conclusion.
> 
> 1. A pubilc board will simply replicate the same discussions, with the same answers, and the same self-censorship that exists on the main board. Therefore, it would be redundant.


 
Possibly, but it would be a lot more orginized! 
Which is one reason why I want it, so all of those FA related posts that keep coming up are all in one place and we don't have to keep repeating that same answers over and over. Ex. "My bbw g/f wants to loose weight but I don't want her to."



> Now, whether or not self-censorship is a good thing is a separate issue (and as you've seen, various posters have argued for it). But on a public board, it will exist. On a private board, there's much more chance that topics will come up that don't come up on public boards, and that would make the whole thing worthwhile.


 
I just had a thought. Why not have both a public and private one? But the private one just be a subboard. Like 'Fat Sexuality' and 'Erotic Weight Gain' in the Weight Board. If the private one doesn't work out, then Webmaster can just kill it while leaving the public one still there.



> 2. Gender separation? That's a tougher one to argue for, but I'd agree that it would be beneficial. Generally, some topics that may offend one gender might not offend the other, and vice versa, so again, the topics would be more diverse, and opinions more freely expressed.


 
But that would mean that we also have to respect the GLBTQ as well. So we would need _at least 4 _different boards or more;
FAs that like BBWs
FAs that like BHMs
FFAs that like BHMs
FFAs that like BBWs

If you feel that this is nessisary, please let us know.

Other wise, I think having 1 public and 1 private Fat Admiration board would be great and would be enough.


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## kioewen

IMO, I don't see any need for the many boards, _as each of them already exist,_ except for *one* -- the one that is most conspicuous by its absence, and the one that should be created.

The GLBTQ already have their own dedicated board. 

The BHM/FFA already have their own dedicated board.

And I don't see the need for a public board, as that would simply duplicate the discussions on the main board, and the same calls for self-censorship would recur.

That only leaves the one that's missing:

FAs who like BBWs

(although I dislike both those terms).

And it should be, to some degree, private. As I said before, I think the most useful discussion in this thrad would be considering who gains admittance and who does not not. That's a tricky issue, but since Dim already has private boards, I'm sure that there is some precedent for establishing admittance.

That's the board that should be created. Everything else is already covered.


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## pickleman357

You know, I hate to point fingers but this is the kind of thread that I feel we need a *public sticky* for
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=54780

I have seen and replied to tons of these, and I've been an off and on member so who knows how many I've never seen.

Its the same issue, over and over. 
So why do you think that this topic should be private, kioewen?


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## kioewen

pickleman357 said:


> So why do you think that this topic should be private, kioewen?



I don't know which topic you're referring to. I meant that if there is to be an FA board, it should be private, for the reasons that I stated in my previous posts.


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## pickleman357

pickleman357 said:


> Which is one reason why I want it, so all of those FA related posts that keep coming up are all in one place and we don't have to keep repeating that same answers over and over. Ex. "My bbw g/f wants to loose weight but I don't want her to."
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> You know, I hate to point fingers but this is the kind of thread that I feel we need a *public sticky* for
> http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/fo...ad.php?t=54780
> 
> I have seen and replied to tons of these, and I've been an off and on member so who knows how many I've never seen.


 
*This* topic


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## Angellore

LOL - I thought that Q meant Fat Acceptance until I read the replies. I thought I wasn;t getting something!


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## Chode McBlob

What are DIMS?


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## Adamantoise

Chode McBlob said:


> What are DIMS?



DIMS refers to this website.


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## mergirl

Chode McBlob said:


> What are DIMS?





Adamantoise said:


> DIMS refers to this website.



Or the people in it!


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## furious styles

mergirl said:


> Or the people in it!



no, i think the word for that is just DIM.


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## mergirl

furious styles said:


> no, i think the word for that is just DIM.


Yeah, i was thinking collectively. lol


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## William

That would be a Dimmer, but it just does not sound right or bright. 

William 



mergirl said:


> Or the people in it!


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## mergirl

William said:


> That would be a Dimmer, but it just does not sound right or bright.
> 
> William


Quite! 
...........


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## kayrae

You guys are getting a giggle out of me.


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