# meeting a guy from a dating site for the first time!



## bbwgatorgirl (Nov 21, 2011)

So, I'm on POF. I met a guy on there, and we've been talking for about a week and a half. We're friends on facebook, so he's seen all of my good pictures, and my not so good pictures.

Not necessarily with him, but with any guy I meet online, I always have this fear of meeting him and him thinking I'm too fat. I can't seem to find ANY FA's in my area, so I'm 'stuck' (don't feel stuck, just couldn't think of an appropriate word) dating guys who are with me for my personality, and they seem to just overlook my size (about a 26). 

Surely I'm not the only one who experiences this, right? Any words of wisdom for me? I'm fairly young (23), but every guy I've ever met (online and in person) tells me that they would be more attracted to me if I weren't so insecure, but I always have that insecurity that I'll be too big, and I definitely don't want to be a guys biggest girl ever. 

 Advice appreciated and welcomed with open arms!


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## AuntHen (Nov 21, 2011)

bbwgatorgirl said:


> So, I'm on POF. I met a guy on there, and we've been talking for about a week and a half. We're friends on facebook, so he's seen all of my good pictures, and my not so good pictures.
> 
> Not necessarily with him, but with any guy I meet online, I always have this fear of meeting him and him thinking I'm too fat. I can't seem to find ANY FA's in my area, so I'm 'stuck' (don't feel stuck, just couldn't think of an appropriate word) dating guys who are with me for my personality, and they seem to just overlook my size (about a 26).
> 
> ...



I think until YOU accept YOU and do not focus or worry that you are too big or whatever, that it would be better to take any relationships with a person on those sites very slow and not meet until you can do it without feeling so insecure.

Being a little nervous or apprehensive is normal in this situation but I think you should be able to walk in feeling confident and that you are a total catch! Instead of thinking "I don't want to be his biggest", hopefully you will think "he has never known anyone like *me*-- lucky guy" :happy:

*Plus if you are showing pics of how you really look and are laying it all out in the open to start with about your size, then you are probably attracting guys that find you physically attractive and pursue with that knowledge.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 21, 2011)

I met the guy I live with on POF. There ARE men on there that like bigger ladies even if they don't scream it in their opening heading. (I'm about your same size, too, btw. I have had more luck on the "regular" dating circuits than on the bbw sites, to be totally honest.)

Just be honest about who you are- including your size. Who wants the nightmare of a guy telling you that you are bigger than he expected? I know that I don't so I recommend putting up a body shot or just say it on your page.

With all that being said, don't make all the focus to be about your size. I think elaborating more on what you do and what you like should be the main conversation/information on your page.

Good luck


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## ant31 (Nov 22, 2011)

it's quite clear that he likes you and they way you look or else he wouldn't have been talking to you and asked to meet you in person . you are a beautiful woman and you have to see that before someone else has too  !

may god be with always and stay beautiful  !

ANTOINE


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## FeedYouInFlorida (Nov 22, 2011)

Is it possible that the issue is not your insecurity, but the insecurity of the guys you're meeting? Maybe they are attracted to you, but have second thoughts when they consider close-minded friends or family. Just a thought. You are obviously very attractive (wish I was 20 years younger!), be patient and you will meet someone who cares about you as you are.


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## Saoirse (Nov 22, 2011)

This reminded me that I had a POF account that I made like 5 years ago. So I just went on, deleted the ancient pictures (omg I looked weird!) and did some updating... and ended up talking to a cute guy for the rest of the night!

Im used to hooking up with dudes on Facebook, but I think this guy is looking for something more serious (thats what his POF profile says)... and Im not sure how to go about it! :doh:


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## bbwgatorgirl (Nov 22, 2011)

I think some of it may also be that they're just meeting me to make fun of me. I had a rough childhood with bullying (as I'm sure many of us did), and that is always in the back of my mind as well. Like, he will show up with his buddies just to laugh at me.


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## spacce (Nov 22, 2011)

bbwgatorgirl said:


> I think some of it may also be that they're just meeting me to make fun of me. I had a rough childhood with bullying (as I'm sure many of us did), and that is always in the back of my mind as well. Like, he will show up with his buddies just to laugh at me.



Yeah and people like that should be tortured in a embarrassing fashion, or i'd take aim for a headshot with a paintball gun if anyone did that to a lady..


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## bonified (Nov 22, 2011)

FeedYouInFlorida said:


> snipasauras* be patient *and you will meet someone who cares about you as you are.



Totally agree with this. Be honest to yourself, don't let fear or insecurity potentially sabotage what could be. 

Last guy I met from the net, crazy connection, just from the first night, both of us talking shit stoned we both knew it was something full on. Not just on a sexual level because at first I was just thinking how I'd do him but then how ridiculous this is, the age thing and differences in life experiences etc. 

He's 15 years my junior lol a hot lil surfer I told him my concerns of me being too old too fat and all that shit before we met, and then said at the very least when we meet we can get high & talk shit and we'll both have a new mate. 

4 months later, I have a new best friend and lover, partner in crime! It may not be conventional, or forever, but its certainly the most beautiful relationship with a man I have ever encountered. 

You just never know where the day may take you.


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## CitizenSnips (Nov 26, 2011)

FeedYouInFlorida said:


> Is it possible that the issue is not your insecurity, but the insecurity of the guys you're meeting? Maybe they are attracted to you, but have second thoughts when they consider close-minded friends or family. Just a thought. You are obviously very attractive (wish I was 20 years younger!), be patient and you will meet someone who cares about you as you are.



Seriously, listen to this guy. I am big myself and I get this from girls all the time. Insecurity is definitely a 2-way street.


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## sweetheart5950 (Nov 27, 2011)

bbwgatorgirl said:


> So, I'm on POF. I met a guy on there, and we've been talking for about a week and a half. We're friends on facebook, so he's seen all of my good pictures, and my not so good pictures.
> 
> Not necessarily with him, but with any guy I meet online, I always have this fear of meeting him and him thinking I'm too fat. I can't seem to find ANY FA's in my area, so I'm 'stuck' (don't feel stuck, just couldn't think of an appropriate word) dating guys who are with me for my personality, and they seem to just overlook my size (about a 26).
> 
> ...



bbwgatorgirl. Never worry about you insecurity. It is what makes you the person you are. A man should never judge you or look at your insecurities. A man should look at who you are and see your personality and heart for who you are. See to me the most important thing in a relationship is to make a connection with the womens personality and heart. Those are the things I fall for. That and I am a sucker for beautiful eyes and a smile. You are a very storng independent woman and that there is the biggest attraction about you. I see your personality not your insecurities. My arms are open for you if you ever want to talk. You have a good friend here. I was raised a woman should be treated with the upmost respect that they deserve and to except them for who they are. You have been and always will be very beautiful in my book.  Me being a true FA, I find more beauty in bigger woman then a skinny little twig.


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## Sweetnlow (Nov 27, 2011)

I can definetely relate to being insecure. I'm about the same size as you too and once was average size and back than I was as insecure as I am now. I just can't understand how someone could ever be interested in me!! I think you have to focus on the guy, do you really want to meet him? What about him is attractive and so on? Then when you think about it how you feel it is easier to ímagine why he likes you. And believe it!


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## RockabillyDoll (Jan 3, 2012)

bbwgatorgirl said:


> I think some of it may also be that they're just meeting me to make fun of me. I had a rough childhood with bullying (as I'm sure many of us did), and that is always in the back of my mind as well. Like, he will show up with his buddies just to laugh at me.



Oh pumpkin!! God can I relate!! In junior high I was bullied so viciously. High school got a little better but there would always be some hot shot guy who would come over to me and try and be all sweet and ask me out. Meanwhile I stare at them and then pointedly look over their shoulder to see their douchebag friends chortling because they think it was funny to dare their friend to ask out "the fat girl." I hate to say it but it still leaves me with a little voice in the back of my head. 

Even now at 27 years old, whenever I'm out and some good looking guy comes over and starts talking to me or straight out asks me on a date. I'm always, without a doubt, searching the room for their cronies somewhere in the room chortling because they bet their friend he couldn't get the fat girl to go on a date with him.

It's really hard to adjust I know, but I have to say, I'm agreeing with the men who have posted that tell you the guys are either insecure or they should be looking past your insecurities. I think it's logical for men to understand in our society; there is weight intolerance and most, if not all, bigger women have been made to feel bad about themselves at some point. And because they know this, they should definitely be overlooking your insecurities and instead be offering you reassurance physically and verbally that you are what they want!!


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## MaryClaire (Jan 5, 2012)

bbwgatorgirl said:


> So, I'm on POF. I met a guy on there, and we've been talking for about a week and a half. We're friends on facebook, so he's seen all of my good pictures, and my not so good pictures.
> 
> Not necessarily with him, but with any guy I meet online, I always have this fear of meeting him and him thinking I'm too fat. I can't seem to find ANY FA's in my area, so I'm 'stuck' (don't feel stuck, just couldn't think of an appropriate word) dating guys who are with me for my personality, and they seem to just overlook my size (about a 26).
> 
> ...



So how did it go?


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## canadianbbw4u (Jan 11, 2012)

bbwgatorgirl said:


> So, I'm on POF. I met a guy on there, and we've been talking for about a week and a half. We're friends on facebook, so he's seen all of my good pictures, and my not so good pictures.
> 
> Not necessarily with him, but with any guy I meet online, I always have this fear of meeting him and him thinking I'm too fat. I can't seem to find ANY FA's in my area, so I'm 'stuck' (don't feel stuck, just couldn't think of an appropriate word) dating guys who are with me for my personality, and they seem to just overlook my size (about a 26).
> 
> ...




I was the same way as you! I live in a smaller city of 25,000people and meeting guys online was hard. But I met my b'f of over 2 years on POF. I had met other guys on there and talked for weeks and once we met it didn't go anywhere. There are all kinds of crazies on there. I was thinking POF was not the place for me when a cute man messaged me. He didn't live in the same city as me but was in town working for a few months so I got to know him and fell in love! He ended up moving here and we live together. 
I think you have to know what you are really looking for when you go on there. Be proud of who you are!! There is the perfect man out there for you. I used to worry about what others thought of me but now I don't give a crap. People can stare and all that but I am who I am and I love me!


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## NewfieGal (Feb 10, 2012)

I chuckled to myself as I read your post cause I could see myself writing the same thing... I think it is always more unnerving meeting people when they come from cyber space... I have always been honest about myself and how I look and how I am and when you meet someone in person first you can gage their reaction but getting to know someone online first and then meeting I think is nerve racking, so many things run through my mind, I don't think it is so much an esteem issue its the building up to this point issue and being afraid of being disappointed or disappointing someone you have come to know and like... but it might be the best thing ever so I guess sometimes its worth the nerves right???


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## LordQuas (Feb 11, 2012)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Who wants the nightmare of a guy telling you that you are bigger than he expected?



Why is that such a "nightmare"?


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## FatAndProud (Feb 11, 2012)

LordQuas said:


> Why is that such a "nightmare"?



Most guys are assholes about that sort of thing. Unless you plainly state how big you are, which I find is much easier


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## LordQuas (Feb 11, 2012)

FatAndProud said:


> Most guys are assholes about that sort of thing. Unless you plainly state how big you are, which I find is much easier



I was just curious because every time I've met a woman from online and she was bigger than I expected I found it to be a pleasant surprise and I would hope that I'm not the only one. That being said I never gave any indication that I felt this way


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## Diana_Prince245 (Feb 12, 2012)

LordQuas said:


> Why is that such a "nightmare"?



Because not all men are FAs and some of us attract them some of the time (or hell, most of the time, in my case).


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 15, 2012)

LordQuas said:


> Why is that such a "nightmare"?





FatAndProud said:


> Most guys are assholes about that sort of thing. Unless you plainly state how big you are, which I find is much easier





LordQuas said:


> I was just curious because every time I've met a woman from online and she was bigger than I expected I found it to be a pleasant surprise and I would hope that I'm not the only one. That being said I never gave any indication that I felt this way





Diana_Prince245 said:


> Because not all men are FAs and some of us attract them some of the time (or hell, most of the time, in my case).



What they said....not all guys (matter of fact....I dare say the majority) don't react nicely. I can tell when one dislikes my size/weight without him even saying so. 
There is a big difference in a how a man that digs you and one that doesn't look at you. Even the ones that are a gentleman about it.

Oh and let me add this: I tend to have much better results on the non bbw specific sites because a lot FAs simply don't find me attractive either and prefer much bigger. The "bi-sizuals" or guys that tend to find me physically attractive don't fall under the term FA. 
Either way- it's no fun for a woman when she realizes it boils down to her weight/size with all other factors out the window.


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## NewfieGal (Feb 15, 2012)

I wish I could meet all of the awesome people here in person, I think it would be a great time, its nice to get to know people first sometimes, and I have met some cool people here, I think it might be the only time I meet someone for the first time and not be nervous or shy(yes I can be shy LOL)... hmm anyone smart enough to make a teleporter yet, would make travelling to meet everyone so much easier


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## LordQuas (Feb 17, 2012)

Diana_Prince245 said:


> Because not all men are FAs and some of us attract them some of the time (or hell, most of the time, in my case).



Well it was probably never going to work to date someone who isnt attracted to your body. Sure guys are terrible at relaying this information in a respectable manner but at least you find out he's an ass before a lot of time is invested.


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## Isa (Feb 18, 2012)

LordQuas said:


> Well it was probably never going to work to date someone who isnt attracted to your body. Sure guys are terrible at relaying this information in a respectable manner but at least you find out he's an ass before a lot of time is invested.



Since a decent amount of men who are attracted to larger bodies are in the closet, afraid of what their family and friends will think, afraid of what society will think or just afraid of their own damn shadows in general, sometimes a woman has to take a chance on non a FA. It doesn't always work out but every now and then it does, making the end result worth the possible heartache.


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## Diana_Prince245 (Feb 18, 2012)

Not to mention that some of us are kinda inbetween -- not big enough for FAs, not small enough for the rest. We date who acts interested, even if it doesn't work out.

And the only guy who has openly expressed disappointment in my size was an FA. I'm sure there have been others, but they kept it to themselves.


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## Never2fat4me (Feb 19, 2012)

You have done the most important thing already, which is to be up front about your size. It may be easy to say guys shouldn't care about these things, but they do, so no point trying to get them to fall in love with you in the expectation that they'll accept you for who you are when you meet. So kudos to you on that.

And if it's of any comfort, most guys are just as nervous as you are when we first meet. I actually think meeting online is a great way to break the ice and get to know each other first. But we too have faced our share of rejection for various reasons, many of which we just don't understand, and so we worry if we look just right, smell just right, are dressed just right, in addition to being concerned if we're smart enough, funny enough, cool enough.

So relax, accept that both of you are nervous, and be yourself. You never can go wrong - in the long term - doing that.

- Chris


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## supersizebbw (Feb 20, 2012)

@OP: i'm in the same boat as you...i've been chatting with a guy online and about to meet him in person and i'm so anxious about it all....but i have to keep telling myself i'll never meet anyone by just sitting indoors every weekend *sigh*. all the best hun


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## bonified (Apr 2, 2012)

I don't want to come in here all gloaty and geeing up, because the online thing has so far worked for me etc and i know it sounds like it, just I'm so fucking happy its not normal.
Wanted to say the freshie & i were talking about how we met and stuff on the weekend & I think when meeting someone on line its best to meet as soon as poss like within a week, or try and keeps comms limited until you can actually meet face to face. At least before all the prolonged daydreamy hectic fantasy pressurey shit kicks in hardcore and potentially sets either of you up for inital disapointment. 

& yeah supersizebbw, get that shit out there, its fun dressing up and really you never know where the day may take you.


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## LaylaBlue2012 (May 4, 2012)

> I met the guy I live with on POF



Glad to know POF was good for u as it was for me  i'm currently extremely happy with my hubby that i met on POF!!


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## bbwprincess (May 4, 2012)

how did you make your profile on pov like what did you write on it?



LaylaBlue2012 said:


> Glad to know POF was good for u as it was for me  i'm currently extremely happy with my hubby that i met on POF!!


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 13, 2012)

bbwprincess said:


> how did you make your profile on pov like what did you write on it?


You didn't ask me but since she hasn't answered I hope you don't mind if I share. 
I met my current live-in bf on POF. I put as many pics as it allows- very important to people. I was also very clear that I am not thin and if that it what a man needs/prefers then to move on. I listed some interests/hobbies, told a little bit about myself/situation. Be sure to be very clear about who you are AND what you want/are looking for. 
After enough time on there, I decided to "weed" out for quality over quantity and made a disclaimer on my profile (you can edit it whenever you want) about wanting a man that is responsible- because I found myself amazed at a man in his late thirties acting like it was an incredible step for him not to live with his Mom- or another man living in his Minister's basement with no job...seeking to date. I feel like people should have their own lives in order before they seek to interject themselves into someone else's life. :doh:


I have always approached the dating sites not only with hope of finding someone compatible- but also the enjoyment of meeting nice, new people in my life. 

Good Luck to you if you decide to try it.


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## Lovelyone (Jun 4, 2012)

LordQuas said:


> I was just curious because every time I've met a woman from online and she was bigger than I expected I found it to be a pleasant surprise and I would hope that I'm not the only one. That being said I never gave any indication that I felt this way




There isn't anything wrong with you being thrilled that the woman you are meeting or taking out for a date is bigger than you expected. However, there is a difference between YOU finding it to be a pleasant surprise and you TELLING her that she's bigger than you've expected. 

In my experience--men who aren't FA's say things like, "You are bigger than I expected" with a hint of sarcasm and disdain in order to end a date/meeting. The way they say it is almost accusingly--as if I lied about what size I was and it comes as a complete shock to them that I am the size I am. We ladies have heard it quite a few times in a derogatory manner and unless you have thick skin and the confidence to back it up...sometimes it can be hurtful to an already insecure person.


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## GlassDaemon (Jul 9, 2012)

"My momma always told me ya gatta learn ta love yerself before ya can expect someone else ta love ya!"

I don't know why I felt the need to type that that way, it's just the way my head made it sound and my mother sounds NOTHING like that, but she has always told me that. ^^;

We are brainwashed by the media to believe fat women are the bane of society, as fat ladies it is our job to prove to the silly media that we are GLORIOUS creatures to be adored! ^^ You can't expect someone else to think you're beautiful if you don't think you are. 

I met my bf on PoF too, almost 3 years now. 

On another note, a guy who is terrified and repulsed by the idea of dating a fat chick probably isn't going to talk to you if your profile suggests you're kinda thick. So go on your date, aware of the fact that he knew you weren't media's definitions of beautiful.


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## WomanlyHips (Jul 24, 2012)

I also met my boyfriend of almost a year on POF, I had little faith in such sites but it obviously worked.


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## Kenster102.5 (Jul 30, 2012)

In the past three to four months I met two curvy ladies from OKCupid, both dates were over meals, we had conversation but nothing really panned out after it, one didn't reply and the other said I wasn't her type. Right now I am in the stage where I am just Skype messaging people, I have yet to meet this one chick from who I have been talking on a weekly basis But one point a chick insulted me and called me a skeleton. Yo but I am just going to keep trying, hey to the original poster, I hope things went well.

Yo and to those who are worried about their profiles, let me say this I got my mother the person who knows me best to comb through my profile and reorganize it and make it read off great, cause she is sort of a report writer. The point is if you talk about it with someone it really doesn't seem like an ordeal and it can become fun to flirt and talk, join up, and less of an ordeal to get rejected or reject someone. 

If anyone wants a link to my OKCupid or POF profiles, pm me.


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## ScreamingChicken (Jul 30, 2012)

My GF and I met on POF. To say it surpassed my expectations it putting it lightly. When I created my profile, the end result went something like this

divorced father of two
list of my interests and hobbies
what personality traits I found attractive in a woman
that I wasn't looking for a serious relationship but that I was open to the idea of one with the right person
that I preferred plus sized women/BBWs

In other words, I didn't make it all about the fat because...it's not all about the fat. Don't get me wrong; I Iove the voluptous curves of my GF but it was her personality, warmth, sense of humor, and confidence that drew me in instantly. I had no option but to fall in love with her. :smitten:


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## Jim Miller (Aug 1, 2012)

The majority of dates I have ever had, including both of the lasting relationships I have had, came about through online connections--one of which was plain old Craigslist. (It helped that I lived in Seattle, where the ratio of interesting, compatible people who were also early online adopters has been much higher than it generally is in the U.S.) Many of my lasting friendships have also come through online connections. So don't worry about the "online" factor. Honestly, it seems more credible to me than meeting someone at some bar or dance club. Attitudes and social norms are changing, and the prevailing mindset that online connections are somehow inferior is fading fast. I owe not just my love life, but many of my friendships, as well as my income, to the Internet.

As for being insecure...a lot of people upthread have told you not to be insecure or to not worry about being insecure. Unfortunately one cannot simply wish away their insecurities. You've already done the most important part, which is to be aware of your insecurities and be up-front with yourself about them. All I can add to that is my advice that you always be honest with people, and always be proactive about pursuing the things you want--even at the risk of failure or rejection. Over time, your confidence will grow.

Best wishes!


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## Blueeyedbbw (Oct 2, 2012)

I realize this is a pretty old post but I thought my experience would come into play here as well.

I am on both POF and Okcupid. I have met one guy in person and he absolutely showed no surprise when he saw me. In fact, he lit up like a Christmas tree. I did, however post a full body shot. Actually it's the same one I have on here. That's the first picture they see so they know what they are getting up front. Another guy I met off a different site had the same reaction. Sad neither of them actually worked out...

I am in the process of talking to another guy from POF and needless to say, he is skinny as hell. :wubu: it's pretty much my weakness. He has seen my full body shot but for some reason, I'm really nervous to meet him. I feel like he isn't seeing me for me. But I know that's my insecurities fighting with me. I plan on pushing that inner voice out of my head and meeting this guy like I'm the most beautiful girl on this planet. Just like everyone else should.

Girls, if he doesn't like you..SOMEONE WILL..

Do not be discouraged if things don't work out. Many many guys out there are willing to love you for YOU!

Stay beautiful and confident


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## MaryClaire (Oct 4, 2012)

Blueeyedbbw said:


> I realize this is a pretty old post but I thought my experience would come into play here as well.
> 
> I am on both POF and Okcupid. I have met one guy in person and he absolutely showed no surprise when he saw me. In fact, he lit up like a Christmas tree. I did, however post a full body shot. Actually it's the same one I have on here. That's the first picture they see so they know what they are getting up front. Another guy I met off a different site had the same reaction. Sad neither of them actually worked out...
> 
> ...



Thank you for this post! You are right!!


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## lovelocs (Jan 11, 2013)

I just had a really weird experience.
I went out with a gentleman who was MUCH older than me. We met online, and decided to meet IRL. 
It was completely socially inappropriate, and really kind of fun (not because of the social transgression, 
but because it was just fun to meet, talk, and hang out). 
I just enjoyed the experience, and I am not quite sure where it will go from here. 



not quite sure if I want.


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## Oona (Jan 11, 2013)

lovelocs said:


> I just had a really weird experience.
> I went out with a gentleman who was MUCH older than me. We met online, and decided to meet IRL.
> It was completely socially inappropriate, and really kind of fun (not because of the social transgression,
> but because it was just fun to meet, talk, and hang out).
> ...



I've been in a couple situations similar to that. Do what makes you happy for whatever reason you want. Social inappropriateness be damned, if you had fun hanging out, do it again! 

I meet a lot of people online, only a select few do I meet in person. But when I do, its a blast. Meeting new people is exciting!


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## Macanudo (Jan 14, 2013)

bbwgatorgirl said:


> So, I'm on POF. I met a guy on there, and we've been talking for about a week and a half. We're friends on facebook, so he's seen all of my good pictures, and my not so good pictures.
> 
> Not necessarily with him, but with any guy I meet online, I always have this fear of meeting him and him thinking I'm too fat. I can't seem to find ANY FA's in my area, so I'm 'stuck' (don't feel stuck, just couldn't think of an appropriate word) dating guys who are with me for my personality, and they seem to just overlook my size (about a 26).
> 
> ...



I know is hard to tell, but to be more confident you have to accept your body, work on it. And confidence is very atractive.


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## Gingembre (Jan 14, 2013)

bbwgatorgirl said:


> I can't seem to find ANY FA's in my area, so I'm 'stuck' (don't feel stuck, just couldn't think of an appropriate word) dating guys who are with me for my personality, and they seem to just overlook my size (about a 26).



Just because isn't active on the FA scene doesn't mean that he doesn't like fatties. My boyfriend is very attracted to me and he has dated big and small girls. He says he has about a 70/30 preference for fat girls, but I've never heard him use the term "bisizual" and if he's aware of the FA/BBW community, he's certainly not active within it. I'm not sure if I called him an FA that he'd know what I meant.

Also, if you have full-length pictures on your profile, and photos taken at a variety of angles then, before you meet, the guy knows how big you are! He wants to meet you anyway. I was always tempted to put my thinnest looking photos on online profiles, but I just had to remind myself that it's about the quality of ppl who message you, not the quantity, and that I could be confident that if I used nice photos, but those where I actually look like the size I am, anyone I met would know what they were getting.


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## Aust99 (Jan 14, 2013)

^^ Wise words babe!!!


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## starr416 (Jan 16, 2013)

Gingembre said:


> *Just because isn't active on the FA scene doesn't mean that he doesn't like fatties.* My boyfriend is very attracted to me and he has dated big and small girls. He says he has about a 70/30 preference for fat girls, but I've never heard him use the term "bisizual" and if he's aware of the FA/BBW community, he's certainly not active within it. I'm not sure if I called him an FA that he'd know what I meant.



Can't agree more! My current boyfriend, who I met online, doesn't even know what an FA is, but I say he is one. And I am certain he is not aware of the BBW community, but his preference is for fat girls.


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## ssbbw4m4 (Jan 28, 2013)

I have had mixed success with on line meetings. One thing is photographs. Professional models will have 100's of photo taken and chose the 1 or 2 that look the best. I try to be honest when posting my photos, not just the ones that put me in the best light. I also update photos regularly and don't use ones that are over a couple years old. I don't want someone to see me for real the first time and be shocked. I also don't want to meet someone for the first time and not have them look like their photos.

I also try to be as honest as possible in my profile. It's not a job resume where things can be embellished a bit to get your foot in the door for an interview. When I first started internet dating, I put things on my profile that I thought women would like but, now I am just honest about my likes and dislikes. 

I remember meeting someone that lived near me on line and her profile was, well, let's just say exaggerated. Being on disability is not the same as working at home. Single is not the same as separated. 

that's my .02 anyway


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