# Embarassing/Funny public humiliation stories...



## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 4, 2007)

OK, we've all had them... share your embarassing and funny public humiliation stories.... I'll start....


About 10+ years ago I was in TGI Fridays with a good friend of mine. We ordered and were chatting away waiting for our food. A short time passed and our food arrived. My friend started eating her chicken sandwich. I had ordered a burger. I put mustard on it and picked up the ketchup bottle to put some on the burger. It was a glass bottle..not the squeeze kind. I picked it up and shook it two times, very quickly, to move the ketchup up to the top, so I didn't have to sit there forever waiting. Welllll..... the lid was loose. The lid flew off and the next thing I knew I had ketchup everywhere....everywhere - in my hair, all over my t-shirt (white), in my ears, all over the table, we were seated next to a planter...there was ketchup all over the plants. There was a woman behind me...I got her too. I was STUNNED! :shocked: My friend had been talking and had asked me a question. We in my shock, I didn't answer and she looks up and says "are you going to answer me?" and she sees me covered in ketchup. She started laughing and said "OMG, you look like you were stabbed!"  The icing on the cake was....I swear there was no sound, and in slow motion, I hear the cap land on the other side of the restaurant.  The waitress walked up right then and was as stunned as I was. She laughed and brought me soda water and napkins to clean up. I turned around and apologized to the lady behind me and when she saw me she laughed too! She only got a little blob on her...I just had it everywhere! It is forever known as "the ketchup incident!" To this day I check the cap on non squeezable ketchup.... just a little paranoid.....  


OK...start sharing!!


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## CleverBomb (Mar 4, 2007)

Father's day, sometime in the very early 80s (with my dad of course).
Same deal.
White shirt (mine).
Loose catsup bottle cap.
Only splattered on myself, though.
I thought I'd repressed that memory...

-Rusty


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 4, 2007)

A fellow ketchup wearer!! Thanks so much for sharing!!!


BTW...that's my job...to dredge up those loving memories!





CleverBomb said:


> Father's day, sometime in the very early 80s (with my dad of course).
> Same deal.
> White shirt (mine).
> Loose catsup bottle cap.
> ...


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## imfree (Mar 4, 2007)

I was teasing my cousin with a plastic spoon-full of whipped topping,
holding it back under tension as if I were going to launch the whipped-topping at her. I accidently executed the launch and the payload hit her dead-center in the forehead . We laughed about that one for years!
HUGGZZ,
Edgar


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 4, 2007)

That's a great one!! OMG, I would be laughing my head off!!





imfree said:


> I was teasing my cousin with a plastic spoon-full of whipped topping,
> holding it back under tension as if I were going to launch the whipped-topping at her. I accidently executed the launch and the payload hit her dead-center in the forehead . We laughed about that one for years!
> HUGGZZ,
> Edgar


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 4, 2007)

Here's another funny one...fortunately not pointed at me though.....

About 15 years ago I had a couple of girl friends over for dinner. We're sitting there eating, talking, laughing.... I just took a big gulp of Coke when one friends says something REALLY funny... I couldn't help but laugh... well, I had a mouthful of Coca Cola. I did the spectacular staged TV liquid spray out of my mouth all over my friend, sitting directly across from me. I soaked her... she had coke all over her shirt, her face, her hair...everywhere. That made us laugh even harder..... Plus, it was the 90's and she had some majorly teased up..."big hair"..... it was all in her hair.... OMG... I can picture it now.... wow, that was funny....


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## sweetnnekked (Mar 4, 2007)

I've got two, more funny than embarassing!

The first, I was at a friends wedding at which there was an open bar which coincided quite perfectly with my drinkin' days. I was rather inebriated, when we were all on the dance floor dancing to the band playing "Shout!"
Well, during this number, I laid down on the floor and proceeded to do the "worm!" Upon getting up, my pants promptly fell to my ankles in front of about 250 people, both friends and strangers. Rather than getting embarrassed, I just continued to dance. Little did I know until later that it was all caught on video and is now in my friends wedding video collection!!
The second was at a bar in Poughkeepsie, N.Y. called "The Chance." I went there for Halloween to see a favorite band at the time known as "Blotto!" Blotto always held a Halloween concert there and aptly named it "Blottoween!"
In between the first and second sets, they held a costume contest in which the contestant getting the loudest cheer won. This place was an old theater with a capacity of about 2,000, and it was packed! I was dressed as a caveman with leopard skin tunic and footwear. The tunic was very short and I was going "commando!"
I got up on stage with my friend who was dressed as Wayne Newton and about 10 other contestants. We all stood in line and when we were introduced, we were to step out of line and strut our stuff for the audience. Yes, as if you've already guessed, not only did I moon the audience, I spread the cheeks wide and got the loudest cheers. Sadly, I was disqualified for not having the best costume. However, many drinks were bought for me by complete strangers and quite a few women propositioned me that night. Ah, the memories of youth!!


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 4, 2007)

AWESOME stories.... OMG...too funny.... definite reps for two great stories!!!

Thanks for sharing!!!!

Vi




sweetnnekked said:


> I've got two, more funny than embarassing!
> 
> The first, I was at a friends wedding at which there was an open bar which coincided quite perfectly with my drinkin' days. I was rather inebriated, when we were all on the dance floor dancing to the band playing "Shout!"
> Well, during this number, I laid down on the floor and proceeded to do the "worm!" Upon getting up, my pants promptly fell to my ankles in front of about 250 people, both friends and strangers. Rather than getting embarrassed, I just continued to dance. Little did I know until later that it was all caught on video and is now in my friends wedding video collection!!
> ...


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 4, 2007)

Here's another good one.... I posted this over in "Falling Down", but it kind of applies here, just cause it's so damn funny......

I have a small two-story house. I have hard wood floors in part of it, namely the steps going upstairs. In the midst of a cleaning jag, I hopped upstairs to get my vacuum that I had left at the top of the stairs. Well, I normally wear socks around the house. So I hopped up the stairs in my socks. All well and fine except I had just dusted the stairs with my Swiffer....and Pledge.... Well, needless to say the socks and Pledged stairs were a bad combination. I hopped up to the top, grabbed the vacuum, spun on my heel and my feet slipped out from under me and I began bouncing down the stairs!! LITERALLY! I let go of the vacuum and it was bouncing down in front of me, and I was bouncing down behind it...on my left "cheek". The entire time I was bouncing I had several random thoughts run thru my head "OMG I spent $150 on this vacuum...it's going to be destroyed!" "OMG, what if I hit my head and get knocked out...I'm here alone, no one will find me!" "OMG, what if I really get hurt, how will I get help!" Seriously...all these things were running thru my head, and I just couldn't get myself stopped going down the stairs! Well, the bottom arrives. The vacuum lands, and I land on top of the vacuum!! I immediately hop right up on my feet, grab the vacuum and examine it to see if it worked...which it did, thank goodness. Then, after a few minutes, I began feeling the effects of the "ride" down the stairs.... My left "cheek" hurt so badly...I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I ended up with a bruise the size of a football on my cheek.... no joke. It hurt like mad for quite a while. 

I laugh hysterically about it now, and when I told my brother about it, he nearly wet his pants laughing! We fondly refer to it as my "riding the vacuum" story.... LOLOL


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## Fuzzy (Mar 4, 2007)

A friend and I spent a saturday afternoon mountain biking. We spotted an approaching thunderstorm and headed for home, but the storm caught up to us. In the rain, hail, lightning and thunderclaps; we approached a busy intersection where we needed to turn left. 

We rode side by side in busy traffic, entered the left lane, and waited for the signal to change. Meanwhile, cars in the lanes around us, we would need to hurry through the intersection, get to the right lane, and then the right shoulder ASAP. In the eternity we spent waiting for the left turn signal, it began to rain cats and dogs. Water was running down my face, my glasses were horribly spotted and partially fogged up. My clothes were drenched.

The signal stopped cross traffic, and after another eternity, we got the left turn green arrow. I hopped up on my right side pedal and gave it a heavy thrush. My bike leap forward, and I gripped the handle bars, and gave my left pedal an equally heavy push, as I leaned to the left to make the turn.

My tires slipped on the slick pavement, and the bike disappeared. I fell sideways off the missing mountain bike and landed with a *SMACK* flat on my back in the middle of the intersection. In my horror, my mind raced to wonder if the car behind me was going to run me over.

Luckily for me, the driver behind us didn't mash on the gas pedal like so many do. All the cars in either direction didn't move as I quickly got up from the ground. I staggered around, looking for my bike. My friend had stopped and was getting my bike where it had landed a few feet from me. 

I glanced around at the traffic, and not knowing what to do next, I took a bow. Several cars honked. I grabbed my bike by the handlebars, and ran off to my desired corner, and continued on.


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 5, 2007)

BRAVO, BRAVO!!! Encore, Encore!!! That is great!!!! Personally, I would have wanted the earth to swallow me up, but to bow, that was priceless!!! Definite reps for that Fuzzy!!! OUTSTANDING!!!





Fuzzy said:


> A friend and I spent a saturday afternoon mountain biking. We spotted an approaching thunderstorm and headed for home, but the storm caught up to us. In the rain, hail, lightning and thunderclaps; we approached a busy intersection where we needed to turn left.
> 
> We rode side by side in busy traffic, entered the left lane, and waited for the signal to change. Meanwhile, cars in the lanes around us, we would need to hurry through the intersection, get to the right lane, and then the right shoulder ASAP. In the eternity we spent waiting for the left turn signal, it began to rain cats and dogs. Water was running down my face, my glasses were horribly spotted and partially fogged up. My clothes were drenched.
> 
> ...


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## Lovelyone (Mar 5, 2007)

Sunday mornings were family days at the bowling alley, to get a lane you had to get there early. They were ALWAYS full. My sister and I would go there early and rent two lanes next to each other--one for adults, and one with the inflatable alley guards for the kids. We would have two alleys full of people. It was always great fun. One morning we were all in an extra good mood, having tons of fun and laughing. I was goofing off and stepped up on the alley as my 7 year old niece was making her approach. She reached back to swing the ball and I grabbed it off her fingers. Of course she yelled "AUNT TERRI, THAT ISN'T FAIR!!!" but we all laughed and I let her take her turn. Soon it was my turn...and everyone was having too much fun to notice that my niece had snuck up behind me on the lane. I started my approach, and SHE reached for my ball--but missed! Instead of grabbing hold of the bowling ball, my niece accidently grabbed a hold of the waist band of my pants. I took two steps forward, and she fell to her knees...with my waist band in hand. I WAS MORTIFIED. I still had my pants on...but my big rump was hanging out, and to top matters off I was wearing those cute little undies that were like pantyhose....you know...the SEE-THRU ones. If that had happended on ANY other day when the bowling alley wasn't full of people with their families..I wouldn't have been half as embarassed as I was! To this day whenever we go somewhere my sister teases me about wearing appropriate undies--just in case.


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 5, 2007)

Oh my lord, I would have fainted dead on the spot.... That is too funny!!! BTW, I LOVE to bowl.... love it!!! I was in a couples league for 12 years....

Wow.... great story! Thanks for sharing!!







Lovelyone said:


> Sunday mornings were family days at the bowling alley, to get a lane you had to get there early. They were ALWAYS full. My sister and I would go there early and rent two lanes next to each other--one for adults, and one with the inflatable alley guards for the kids. We would have two alleys full of people. It was always great fun. One morning we were all in an extra good mood, having tons of fun and laughing. I was goofing off and stepped up on the alley as my 7 year old niece was making her approach. She reached back to swing the ball and I grabbed it off her fingers. Of course she yelled "AUNT TERRI, THAT ISN'T FAIR!!!" but we all laughed and I let her take her turn. Soon it was my turn...and everyone was having too much fun to notice that my niece had snuck up behind me on the lane. I started my approach, and SHE reached for my ball--but missed! Instead of grabbing hold of the bowling ball, my niece accidently grabbed a hold of the waist band of my pants. I took two steps forward, and she fell to her knees...with my waist band in hand. I WAS MORTIFIED. I still had my pants on...but my big rump was hanging out, and to top matters off I was wearing those cute little undies that were like pantyhose....you know...the SEE-THRU ones. If that had happended on ANY other day when the bowling alley wasn't full of people with their families..I wouldn't have been half as embarassed as I was! To this day whenever we go somewhere my sister teases me about wearing appropriate undies--just in case.


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 5, 2007)

I keep thinking up some doosies!!

A few years ago, I went to a family party for my uncle's retirement. It was summer and I had gotten dressed that morning in my "around the house" clothes...nothing special. Well, I grabbed the first pair of panties I saw...they were a dark heather grey. Later in the afternoon I got changed to go to the party and didn't think of changing my panties. Well...the outfit I put on was a really cute sleeveless cotton top, pink with embroidered flowers on it with matching capri pants... really cute. Well, as I was walking thru the food line it dawned on me that I hadn't changed my DARK grey panties that were on under my VERY LIGHT PINK capri pants. No one said a word, but I KNOW everyone could see them..... I was mortified. 

Lovelyone, I'm with you.... ALWAYS have the appropriate undies on!!!


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## stan_der_man (Mar 5, 2007)

Hey Violet, that was a great ketchup story. I had a minor incident like that but nothing in comparison...

When I was in junior high school we were really into BMX (motocross) bicycles. I never could afford a new bicycle so I had to build my own. Riding stripped down Schwin Stingray BMX bicycles was the next best thing to a Red Line, Mongoose or other high end bicycle (Huffys or generic brand bicycles wasn't cool...) I was bragging that I got a good Schwin frame from a garage sale, an alloy sprocket and pedels, but I had to use the stock wheels. My friends were riding their bicycles on the usual street corner. I worked as fast as I could to finish my bicycle, but I was missing the proper safety washers and bearing covers for my front wheel. I was able to get it together anyway in a way that seemed good enough for the moment. I rode down the street, saw my friends and just for show I pulled a wheelie on the curb where a driveway entrance was. My front wheel never left the ground and rolled down the street as the front end of my bicycle lifted off of the ground. I totally munched it in front of my friends. I was OK but my ego was bruised! They made fun of me for quite a while after that...

fa_man_stan


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 5, 2007)

Oh Stan, that's priceless!!! Talk about a real ego killer! GREAT story!!! Thanks so much for sharing that one!!




fa_man_stan said:


> Hey Violet, that was a great ketchup story. I had a minor incident like that but nothing in comparison...
> 
> When I was in junior high school we were really into BMX (motocross) bicycles. I never could afford a new bicycle so I had to build my own. Riding stripped down Schwin Stingray BMX bicycles was the next best thing to a Red Line, Mongoose or other high end bicycle (Huffys or generic brand bicycles wasn't cool...) I was bragging that I got a good Schwin frame from a garage sale, an alloy sprocket and pedels, but I had to use the stock wheels. My friends were riding their bicycles on the usual street corner. I worked as fast as I could to finish my bicycle, but I was missing the proper safety washers and bearing covers for my front wheel. I was able to get it together anyway in a way that seemed good enough for the moment. I rode down the street, saw my friends and just for show I pulled a wheelie on the curb where a driveway entrance was. My front wheel never left the ground and rolled down the street as the front end of my bicycle lifted off of the ground. I totally munched it in front of my friends. I was OK but my ego was bruised! They made fun of me for quite a while after that...
> 
> fa_man_stan


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## This1Yankee (Mar 5, 2007)

I have loads of stories, but this one is really funny.

I was in 5th grade. We were using the OLD protractors, the ones that were circles and had four different sized holes in the middle. The cutest boy in class (Nicky) was sitting across from me. We had had a fling in third grade, so there was unfinished business. 

He put his finger through one hole, in a "sex" motion gesture and winked at me. As alarmed as I was, I had known about sex since second grade (thanks to my 6th grade girl friends who always wanted me to play the "baby" when they played House at recess), so I did the sex motion back. Except that I didn't use the correct hole. And so my middle finger got STUCK in the protractor hole. 

After several minutes of being red faced, and trying to get it off at my desk, the other kids around me started to notice and were getting a little disruptive. The teacher asked me to go to the sink at the front of the class and try to use soap to slip it off. So there I stand, front of the class, my ass facing all of the students, trying to get a protractor off of my finger. the soap didn't work. SO I was escorted down the hall to the nurses station, where the lady tried EVERY trick in the book to get that damn thing off. Nothing worked. She eventually called my mother to come break it off, because the nurse didn't want to be held responsible if she cut my finger with the plastic. 

I think I was only asked once or twice how it happened (which I lied about), but Nicky never looked at me the same way again. He must have thought Megan+Sex=Stuck, embarassed, have to seek medical attention. Yeah. So I guess it was a good thing, otherwise I might have lost my virginity at age ten.

:doh:


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## William (Mar 5, 2007)

Ok 

It was myself and some cousins at the bowling alley. I am into my delivery and just before I released the ball I released a loud and long fart!!. I was the only one at the line at the time so the Alley was quiet and the roof is dome shaped which helped carry the sound!! Even the far lanes heard it and to top it off it was a stinker

William (Who will never again go bowling after a night of Beer and Bar Food)







This1Yankee said:


> I have loads of stories, but this one is really funny.
> 
> I was in 5th grade. We were using the OLD protractors, the ones that were circles and had four different sized holes in the middle. The cutest boy in class (Nicky) was sitting across from me. We had had a fling in third grade, so there was unfinished business.
> 
> ...


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 5, 2007)

Outstanding!!! Great story!

(remind me never to bowl next to you......)




William said:


> Ok
> 
> It was myself and some cousins at the bowling alley. I am into my delivery and just before I released the ball I released a loud and long fart!!. I was the only one at the line at the time so the Alley was quiet and the roof is dome shaped which helped carry the sound!! Even the far lanes heard it and to top it off it was a stinker
> 
> William (Who will never again go bowling after a night of Beer and Bar Food)


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 5, 2007)

I just keep digging these stories out of my memory...


I'm in the third grade....in the late 1960's.... I'm wearing this dress that buttons down the front. We're lining up to go to the gym for some assembly or something... I can't remember that part. Well, I stand up and start to walk behind my chair and the flap of my dress that buttons over the other side catches on the back of my chair. Well in one split second, I keep walking and all the buttons get ripped off, and I'm standing there with my dress hanging open!!  I was mortified! Fortunately, my mother being the lady she is, had made me put a slip on under my dress. Whew....

I ended up going down to the office, where the Principal's secretary sewed them back on for me. She was such a nice lady... I was so embarassed and was crying my eyes out. She sat me down, got me some water, calmed me down and assured me that no one saw anything, and that it was not as big a deal as I thought. She's probably the reason I became a secretary.


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## bbwsweetheart (Mar 5, 2007)

Okay Vi,

You and the other members who contributed to this thread made me laugh out loud, which is a great start to the day.

The Slip Incident occured many years ago when I lived and worked in NYC. It was spring or summer so I had no coat to save me from humiliation. I was walking across Park Avenue, the light was about to change from Walk to Don't Walk so I was hustling to make the safety of the sidewalk. Yup, my slip decided to make a bid for freedom in the middle of Park Ave. From a full sprint, I suddenly found myself in a furious hobble; my slip was fallen on top of my shoes and I couldn't walk propery. With a bright red face, I kicked my slip off and continued to walk in my sheer skirt. Well, at least I gave the people who were around to witness the incident a laugh. :bow:


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 5, 2007)

LOLOLOL.... Oh my gosh, how funny!!! I would have nearly died!! And to kick it off and keep going!! Yay for you!!! That is great!!! Thanks for sharing!! Keep 'em coming!!






bbwsweetheart said:


> Okay Vi,
> 
> You and the other members who contributed to this thread made me laugh out loud, which is a great start to the day.
> 
> The Slip Incident occured many years ago when I lived and worked in NYC. It was spring or summer so I had no coat to save me from humiliation. I was walking across Park Avenue, the light was about to change from Walk to Don't Walk so I was hustling to make the safety of the sidewalk. Yup, my slip decided to make a bid for freedom in the middle of Park Ave. From a full sprint, I suddenly found myself in a furious hobble; my slip was fallen on top of my shoes and I couldn't walk propery. With a bright red face, I kicked my slip off and continued to walk in my sheer skirt. Well, at least I gave the people who were around to witness the incident a laugh. :bow:


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 5, 2007)

Come on..... there's got to be more stories..... POST 'EM!!!!!!


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## BigBeautifulMe (Mar 25, 2007)

Time for my contribution. It happened today. For some reason, my jeans are a lot looser today than usual. I have no idea why. They're literally falling down. Not good when traveling across country. As I get off the plane, I feel them falling, so I stop in a bathroom and pull them up. I'm walking across the airport holding onto my pants (luckily, I have a coat on, too, so I'm hoping it's not that obvious - but it probably was. 

Then, I get on a bus for a two hour long bus ride. I sit next to someone who is NOT happy that I'm sitting next to them. I get up to let him go to the restroom - and my pants literally fall off my ass. If I weren't wearing my coat (which is long), everyone would have totally seen my ass. It had to have been obvious that my pants were falling off. I don't know how it couldn't be. But there was no way to pull them up discreetly. I spent two hours totally bareassed with nothing between my seat and my ass except my coat, and when we finally stopped, I had both arms *inside* my coat, and I pulled my jeans up really quickly. People had to have noticed. Thankfully, no one said anything. :blush:


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 26, 2007)

Oh good Lord! I would have died a thousand deaths..... Elastic waist pants on the next trip...eh?? 

Thanks for the story!!!





BigBeautifulMe said:


> Time for my contribution. It happened today. For some reason, my jeans are a lot looser today than usual. I have no idea why. They're literally falling down. Not good when traveling across country. As I get off the plane, I feel them falling, so I stop in a bathroom and pull them up. I'm walking across the airport holding onto my pants (luckily, I have a coat on, too, so I'm hoping it's not that obvious - but it probably was.
> 
> Then, I get on a bus for a two hour long bus ride. I sit next to someone who is NOT happy that I'm sitting next to them. I get up to let him go to the restroom - and my pants literally fall off my ass. If I weren't wearing my coat (which is long), everyone would have totally seen my ass. It had to have been obvious that my pants were falling off. I don't know how it couldn't be. But there was no way to pull them up discreetly. I spent two hours totally bareassed with nothing between my seat and my ass except my coat, and when we finally stopped, I had both arms *inside* my coat, and I pulled my jeans up really quickly. People had to have noticed. Thankfully, no one said anything. :blush:


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Mar 26, 2007)

Picture it: 

9th grade I'm painfully shy. 

We are discussing economics. The teacher asks:

"Who knows what the purpose of a Monopoly is?"

I raise my hand and say:

"To get Boardwalk and Park Place."

(I wanted to die)


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## Wayne_Zitkus (Mar 26, 2007)

My turn. Here's a story from my Junior Year in high school - circa 1970.

Ever say something a little TOO LOUD? And once you said it, you realize how loud you were, and wish you could take it back? Well, this is one of those times.

At my high school, we had the option of taking Humanities instead of English and History during Junior and Senior Year - it was a two-period class every day, and it counted as two majors. Many times, we would have two Humanities classes get together in one classroom for special presentations, movies, etc. During one of those times, two boys were acting out a scene from "Inherit The Wind", a play about the 1925 Scopes Monkey Trial.

The two lawyers involved in that case were Clarence Darrow and William Jennings Bryan, a man who had run for President a few times. And in the scene, Darrow had Bryan on the witness stand and was asking him a series of questions. This kid playing Clarence Darrow had a line that went something like this: 

*"I want to know your opinion of sex!!! As a former presidential candidate. As a man...." *​
And before he could finish that line, I blurted out the following, loud enough for the entire room to hear:

*"As a hobby."*​
The entire room erupted in laughter, I turned beet-red (to match my hair), and I don't remember if they ever finished that scene....


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## Chimpi (Mar 26, 2007)

Violet_Beauregard said:


> About 10+ years ago I was in TGI Fridays with a good friend of mine. We ordered and were chatting away waiting for our food. A short time passed and our food arrived. My friend started eating her chicken sandwich. I had ordered a burger. I put mustard on it and picked up the ketchup bottle to put some on the burger. It was a glass bottle..not the squeeze kind. I picked it up and shook it two times, very quickly, to move the ketchup up to the top, so I didn't have to sit there forever waiting. Welllll..... the lid was loose. The lid flew off and the next thing I knew I had ketchup everywhere....everywhere - in my hair, all over my t-shirt (white), in my ears, all over the table, we were seated next to a planter...there was ketchup all over the plants. There was a woman behind me...I got her too. I was STUNNED! :shocked: My friend had been talking and had asked me a question. We in my shock, I didn't answer and she looks up and says "are you going to answer me?" and she sees me covered in ketchup. She started laughing and said "OMG, you look like you were stabbed!"  The icing on the cake was....I swear there was no sound, and in slow motion, I hear the cap land on the other side of the restaurant.  The waitress walked up right then and was as stunned as I was. She laughed and brought me soda water and napkins to clean up. I turned around and apologized to the lady behind me and when she saw me she laughed too! She only got a little blob on her...I just had it everywhere! It is forever known as "the ketchup incident!" To this day I check the cap on non squeezable ketchup.... just a little paranoid.....



I, too, have fallen victim to flying ketchup. But, it was not me that did the throwing. It was my mother.
We were on vacation at Niagra Falls, and my mother wanted to take me to lunch (for whatever reason, it was just her and I and not my brother or my father). We went to a restaurant that I have no idea what it was, where it was, or anything about it at all (my memory fails me). I ordered my usual cheeseburger, and she ordered some sort of steak, or pork, or something. I was wearing my favorite Donald Duck (white t-shirt with Donald Duck on the front) shit (my favorite shirt period), and she reached for the ketchup... shook it... and off went all the ketchup, in every direction as well. Luckily, the blast only affect our table and one other neighbors' table. Unluckily, my shirt was not a plain red shirt, and the windows (which we were sitting next to) could no longer be looked out of. I think my mom was probably very embarassed. She started to clean up the mess, laughing hysterically and tearing up a bit (she does that when shes embarassed), but the waitress came over, gave us a free meal, and cleaned the mess up for us. 

That is not a humiliating story for me, though.
I'm trying very hard to think of a story that humiliated me... But I cannot come up with anything yet.


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 26, 2007)

LOLOLOL... That is hilarious..... OMG.... waaaayyyy too funny......  




Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Picture it:
> 
> 9th grade I'm painfully shy.
> 
> ...


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 26, 2007)

Great story!! I too had to watch that movie in high school..... 

I love it!!






Wayne_Zitkus said:


> My turn. Here's a story from my Junior Year in high school - circa 1970.
> 
> Ever say something a little TOO LOUD? And once you said it, you realize how loud you were, and wish you could take it back? Well, this is one of those times.
> 
> ...


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 26, 2007)

Yet another embarassing ketchup incident!! Yay!

Thanks for sharing!!! 





Chimpi said:


> I, too, have fallen victim to flying ketchup. But, it was not me that did the throwing. It was my mother.
> We were on vacation at Niagra Falls, and my mother wanted to take me to lunch (for whatever reason, it was just her and I and not my brother or my father). We went to a restaurant that I have no idea what it was, where it was, or anything about it at all (my memory fails me). I ordered my usual cheeseburger, and she ordered some sort of steak, or pork, or something. I was wearing my favorite Donald Duck (white t-shirt with Donald Duck on the front) shit (my favorite shirt period), and she reached for the ketchup... shook it... and off went all the ketchup, in every direction as well. Luckily, the blast only affect our table and one other neighbors' table. Unluckily, my shirt was not a plain red shirt, and the windows (which we were sitting next to) could no longer be looked out of. I think my mom was probably very embarassed. She started to clean up the mess, laughing hysterically and tearing up a bit (she does that when shes embarassed), but the waitress came over, gave us a free meal, and cleaned the mess up for us.
> 
> That is not a humiliating story for me, though.
> I'm trying very hard to think of a story that humiliated me... But I cannot come up with anything yet.


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## This1Yankee (Mar 26, 2007)

I got a fart one. 

Okay, so I had just started dating this guy, and we decided to do the whole overnight/weekend date. First time that we had slept in the same bed together. I thought the weekend went perfectly, and we continued to date for a couple of months. 

About a month and a half into it, we were reminiscing about our first "night" together. I asked him if I snored, because I get that complaint a lot. He replied:

"No, but you definitely farted really loudly."

I think I turned ten shades of red after I made sure that he was in fact, not joking. I was mortified. MORT-I-FIED. Even after the fact, because of course he described it, and said I was "cover-lifting" and that if he entered it in a contest, I would have won an award or at least an honorable mention. :doh: :blush: 

I maintain that it's not my fault, because I was trying to be a lady all day and his bathroom is right off of his bedroom, so I didn't want to bust ass and him still hear it. Kind of defeats the purpose, no?!

Moral of the story: DON'T HOLD IN THE FLATULENCE!! Just excuse yourself to go get something out of your car, and let her rip. Otherwise, it will come back to haunt you in your sleep


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 26, 2007)

OMG.... I would be horrified..... Good god..... LOLOL.... 

Thanks for sharing it!!!





This1Yankee said:


> I got a fart one.
> 
> Okay, so I had just started dating this guy, and we decided to do the whole overnight/weekend date. First time that we had slept in the same bed together. I thought the weekend went perfectly, and we continued to date for a couple of months.
> 
> ...


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## CrazyGuy13 (Mar 26, 2007)

Hmm.. mine is from a few years ago, acting out a scene from Macbeth in English class. The scene we were doing was a sword fight, and I was supposed to chase the other person out of the room. Unfortunately, the group before us decided to use bubbles during their scene, though I have no idea why. After this..things get a little fuzzy. I remember chasing my friend, and I remember slipping. The next thing I remember I'm laying on a bed in one of the rooms connected to the nurses office.


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## mottiemushroom (Mar 26, 2007)

During an oral sex session my then boyfriend BIT me, breaking the skin. Because of the location, everytime i peed it hurt like hell & didn't heal. I ended up having to have it stitched  :blush:


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## SamanthaNY (Mar 26, 2007)

This1Yankee said:


> I got a fart one.
> 
> Okay, so I had just started dating this guy, and we decided to do the whole overnight/weekend date. First time that we had slept in the same bed together. I thought the weekend went perfectly, and we continued to date for a couple of months.
> 
> ...


I can relate. 

When first dating my now-husband, he would spend a lot of time at my house. At the time we were very comfortable with eachother, but hadn't yet breached the 'fart-in-front-of-eachother' benchmark. 

One day I was standing in my dressing room, putting on shoes since we were getting ready to go out somewhere. I felt the need to fart, and fart loudly. How to do this in a relatively small house when I knew he was waiting for me just over there in the front hall? Think, Sam... think. I know! *lightbulb*! I'll stand with my butt against the towel that's hanging on the towel rod against the bathroom wall. That should muffle just about anything. 

So I did, and let it fly. And as soon as I started, I knew I'd made an error of significant proportions. 

It was quite an impressive fart indeed... rather voluminous in capacity, and so impressive that it reverberated through the wall, and throughout the timbers of the
_*e n t i r e*_ house. The flaw in my idea was that by standing against the wall, I gave the noise a giant sounding board.... pretty much a house-sized speaker. 

I'm sure he heard it. Criminy - he probably felt the sound-waves. I'm sure the neighbors even heard something and perhaps dismissed it as military testing. 

But he never said a word, bless him.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Mar 26, 2007)

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It reminds me of the first time I had a gas attack right in the middle of having sex with Wayne. I couldn't hold it and I farted - rather loudly. Wayne never missed a beat and after we were done I asked him if he had noticed? LOL .He said yes but it didn't bother him and I said - 

"Well, I guess that would be a good barometer of how long we've been married - farting in the middle of sex and not even missing a beat!" LOL




SamanthaNY said:


> I can relate.
> 
> When first dating my now-husband, he would spend a lot of time at my house. At the time we were very comfortable with eachother, but hadn't yet breached the 'fart-in-front-of-eachother' benchmark.
> 
> ...


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## bigsexy920 (Mar 26, 2007)

Ok I think I may have told this story before but it was pretty funny.

I was summer time and my sister and I made a run to the local Dairy Maid. We ordered a few things because we were getting for the family. Seeing as how it was summer time I had on a sundress and well not to much in the way of undies. On the way out there are several steps and then the curb. Well of course being as gracefull as I am I managed to launch myself off the curb and on to the middle of the street. Keep in mind now that my dress is like up over my head yet I STILL have the ice cream that I was carrying in my hands safe and sound. I was laughing, my sister was laughing and my ass was totally seen by anyone that tought it would be a nice day to sit on the bench outside the ice cream place I dont think they thought it was as funny as we did, or maybe they did. Who knows?


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## This1Yankee (Mar 26, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> It reminds me of the first time I had a gas attack right in the middle of having sex with Wayne. I couldn't hold it and I farted - rather loudly. Wayne never missed a beat and after we were done I asked him if he had noticed? LOL .He said yes but it didn't bother him and I said -
> 
> "Well, I guess that would be a good barometer of how long we've been married - farting in the middle of sex and not even missing a beat!" LOL



LMAO!!! I have done this too, and it WASN'T during marriage. Hell, it wasn't even after a lengthy relationship, it was right in the beginning of one. I laughed so hard that I started to pee, then I thought "I've already farted on the man DURING sex, maybe peeing wouldn't be so welcome". Oh man, I couldn't do anything BUT laugh though...


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## Fuzzy (Mar 26, 2007)

I spent a couple of college years with a bicycle as primary transportation. During that time, I replaced the rims or labored to keep them "true" more often than the time spent fixing flats.

I averaged at least one wreck a month, a wreck spectacular enough to bend one of the rims, spring the deraileur, break something or do something of similar effect to my body.

The ones I remember, and yes, I had more than I can remember.. include:

Riding single file with a group of cyclists along a bike trail that passed thru a particularily dense pine forest, we needed to cross a busy highway to continue on the trail. Most of the time, all it took was a quick side-to-side glance and you didn't need to slow down. 

One this particular occasion, I was last in line, and I had to brake and swerve slightly before continuing. At the entrance to the bike trail, there stood four posts, cemented into the ground as to prevent cars from entering the park. My swerve brought me very close to one of the posts.

Close enough, that while my bike missed the post, my right knee did not. The impact forced me backwards off the bike and onto the sidewalk (_where I quoted the seventy dirty words you didn't know existed_), and my bike continued on, riderless, off the trail and down the hill into a creek.

My companions didn't see what happened to me, but one did have the oppurtunity to glance down to see my bike, its bright red frame glinting in the sunlight as it cartwheelled downhill.

* * *

A mountain bike is an empowering object. With its low gears and big knobby tires, you can go anywhere. Sometimes, though, that's a bad thing.

A friend and I were exploring the dense jungle and undergrowth of one East Texas' darkest forests. We had been following a road cut in the pines where a pipeline had been laid years before. As the road dwidled from civilized to uncivilized, from gravel to dirt, and finally to wayward trail, the dense forest closed in until we were deep into darkness and shadow. 

The trail began to wander alongside a deep gully where the water trickled along in near stagnant pools. The trail took a sharp turn and headed down the bank and up the other side. My companion took the trail, plunged into the murk and mud where he slowed to a muddy stop. 

As he stepped into the muck to wrench his bike out of the bog, I continued on, off-trail to find a different route. I geared down, and attempted a route thru the brush. All at once, I found a hidden wash that caused me and my bike to head down into the creek, as I tried to jump off and save myself. 

As I fell to one side, I watched in horrific slow motion as I put my hand into a fire ant hill. Quickly, I struggled to stand up with my hand already in pain. Barbbed vines, from Hell I have no doubt, were already twisted around my legs which caused me to trip and fall, and while there were no other fireants, I pictured in my mind with every passing moment that I was in a minefield of fireants.

In the five minute eternity that followed, I fought my way back up to the trail. In the meantime, my friend was busting a gut as he watched my ordeal. He yelled to me that maybe it would've been better for me to follow the trail.

After retrieving our bikes, and cleaning the mud from the tires so they could spin somewhat effortlessly, we continued following the non-trail. Which by and by completely disappeared and we were forced to follow along the bottom of the muddy gully until by some miracle.. it turned into a dirt road.

A dirt road that stopped at a metal gate. Upon close inspection of the gate, it bore a sign on the other side that read: "NO TRESSPASSING".


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 26, 2007)

LOLOL.... good one!!!




CrazyGuy13 said:


> Hmm.. mine is from a few years ago, acting out a scene from Macbeth in English class. The scene we were doing was a sword fight, and I was supposed to chase the other person out of the room. Unfortunately, the group before us decided to use bubbles during their scene, though I have no idea why. After this..things get a little fuzzy. I remember chasing my friend, and I remember slipping. The next thing I remember I'm laying on a bed in one of the rooms connected to the nurses office.


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 26, 2007)

OMG!!! LOLOL.... wow...that's a heck of a bite!!!! 





mottiemushroom said:


> During an oral sex session my then boyfriend BIT me, breaking the skin. Because of the location, everytime i peed it hurt like hell & didn't heal. I ended up having to have it stitched  :blush:


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 26, 2007)

OMG..... that is hilarious!!! What a great story!!!






SamanthaNY said:


> I can relate.
> 
> When first dating my now-husband, he would spend a lot of time at my house. At the time we were very comfortable with eachother, but hadn't yet breached the 'fart-in-front-of-eachother' benchmark.
> 
> ...


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 26, 2007)

Well, this is a good thing, hm???? Too funny!!!




Sandie_Zitkus said:


> ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> It reminds me of the first time I had a gas attack right in the middle of having sex with Wayne. I couldn't hold it and I farted - rather loudly. Wayne never missed a beat and after we were done I asked him if he had noticed? LOL .He said yes but it didn't bother him and I said -
> 
> "Well, I guess that would be a good barometer of how long we've been married - farting in the middle of sex and not even missing a beat!" LOL


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 26, 2007)

That would exactly be my luck...... LOLOL..... I can see it now...... 






bigsexy920 said:


> Ok I think I may have told this story before but it was pretty funny.
> 
> I was summer time and my sister and I made a run to the local Dairy Maid. We ordered a few things because we were getting for the family. Seeing as how it was summer time I had on a sundress and well not to much in the way of undies. On the way out there are several steps and then the curb. Well of course being as gracefull as I am I managed to launch myself off the curb and on to the middle of the street. Keep in mind now that my dress is like up over my head yet I STILL have the ice cream that I was carrying in my hands safe and sound. I was laughing, my sister was laughing and my ass was totally seen by anyone that tought it would be a nice day to sit on the bench outside the ice cream place I dont think they thought it was as funny as we did, or maybe they did. Who knows?


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 26, 2007)

LOLOL.... wow...... that's too much! GREAT story!!





Fuzzy said:


> I spent a couple of college years with a bicycle as primary transportation. During that time, I replaced the rims or labored to keep them "true" more often than the time spent fixing flats.
> 
> I averaged at least one wreck a month, a wreck spectacular enough to bend one of the rims, spring the deraileur, break something or do something of similar effect to my body.
> 
> ...


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## daddyoh70 (Mar 27, 2007)

Violet_Beauregard said:


> OK, we've all had them... share your embarassing and funny public humiliation stories.... I'll start....
> 
> 
> About 10+ years ago I was in TGI Fridays with a good friend of mine. We ordered and were chatting away waiting for our food. A short time passed and our food arrived. My friend started eating her chicken sandwich. I had ordered a burger. I put mustard on it and picked up the ketchup bottle to put some on the burger. It was a glass bottle..not the squeeze kind. I picked it up and shook it two times, very quickly, to move the ketchup up to the top, so I didn't have to sit there forever waiting. Welllll..... the lid was loose. The lid flew off and the next thing I knew I had ketchup everywhere....everywhere - in my hair, all over my t-shirt (white), in my ears, all over the table, we were seated next to a planter...there was ketchup all over the plants. There was a woman behind me...I got her too. I was STUNNED! :shocked: My friend had been talking and had asked me a question. We in my shock, I didn't answer and she looks up and says "are you going to answer me?" and she sees me covered in ketchup. She started laughing and said "OMG, you look like you were stabbed!"  The icing on the cake was....I swear there was no sound, and in slow motion, I hear the cap land on the other side of the restaurant.  The waitress walked up right then and was as stunned as I was. She laughed and brought me soda water and napkins to clean up. I turned around and apologized to the lady behind me and when she saw me she laughed too! She only got a little blob on her...I just had it everywhere! It is forever known as "the ketchup incident!" To this day I check the cap on non squeezable ketchup.... just a little paranoid.....
> ...




Boy, talk about your Deja Vu all over again... I had been dating my wife for about 2 months, (this was 13 years ago) and we went out to lunch at a local restaurant. I ordered a burger and reached for the glass bottle of ketchup with the screw off cap.  I started shaking the ketchup bottle like I had no control over my arm. I still don't think they found the cap. Anyway, the aftermath made the St. Valentines Day Massacre look like Mr. Rogers neighborhood. Ketchup all over the walls, the window, I looked like I'd been shot in the chest. Had anyone walked by, they would have thought my wife was shot because she was doubled over on her seat in the booth we were in. (laughing her ass off of course). Luckily there was no one behind me. Anyway, we ended up getting our lunches to go and never ate there again. Like Violet now, I never pick up a ketchup bottle without checking the cap first. We still laugh about that every once in a while, well at least my wife does.


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 27, 2007)

Priceless!! OMG how funny.... I know exactly how you feel. What's even funnier is that the EXACT same thing happened to my brother YESTERDAY!!! When he told me, I said "Didn't you learn anything from MY ketchup incident??? Don't you know to always check the cap??" 

Wow...what a laugh for today... thanks!!!




daddyoh70 said:


> Boy, talk about your Deja Vu all over again... I had been dating my wife for about 2 months, (this was 13 years ago) and we went out to lunch at a local restaurant. I ordered a burger and reached for the glass bottle of ketchup with the screw off cap.  I started shaking the ketchup bottle like I had no control over my arm. I still don't think they found the cap. Anyway, the aftermath made the St. Valentines Day Massacre look like Mr. Rogers neighborhood. Ketchup all over the walls, the window, I looked like I'd been shot in the chest. Had anyone walked by, they would have thought my wife was shot because she was doubled over on her seat in the booth we were in. (laughing her ass off of course). Luckily there was no one behind me. Anyway, we ended up getting our lunches to go and never ate there again. Like Violet now, I never pick up a ketchup bottle without checking the cap first. We still laugh about that every once in a while, well at least my wife does.


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## chunkeymonkey (Mar 27, 2007)

Ok I had been potty training my son and he was having issues with number two so I found this video called "POTTY TIME" with bear in the big blue house.In the video it has the whole explanation of if you feel uncomfortable and you feel funny you might want to sit on the potty and try.It went on with a bit more detail on trying. Anyways I take my son to the mall and I was in line in the busy food court. Being in line for 15 minutes I was looking to the front of the line to see if it was moving. The one thing that kept me there was a couple of cute sales guys in line waiting for food and they were waving at my son. With in seconds of the guys saying hello my son pipes up and says "hey mom do feel ok" Now I am thinking "oh how sweet my son actually cares how I feel" then comes the kicker....." Its ok if you feel funny all you need to do is go to the bathroom and POOP!!! Do you need to POOP mommy???" No matter how I looked at this ,the entire line heard my son and OMG they were laughing at his cuteness. All I could do is stand there and say to the "one day maybe you will have cute kids too."


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## KnottyOne (Mar 27, 2007)

Ok, so this one gets a lil risque but here I go. So back in the day (like a year and a half, 2 years ago lol) when I was more into the hardcore scene and was singing in a band that was performing on basically a weekly basis, I had more then my fair share of "friends w/ benefits". And they were fans of my bands so at least one was always at a show. So it was kind of my ritual before a show to... erhm, have a lil fun lets say. Either in the venue itself or my car, whichever worked out better lol. (I still stand that the easiest way to get rid of the jitters is to get laid). So were at the show and my friend Jade is there, and I kinda imply hey, I'm nervous, you wanna help me with it? She is more then willing to oblige, god I <3 this girl lol. And actually she is still one of my best friends ^_^. So we go out to my car and start to do our thing. Now it gets to the point where I am down on her, and she is what me and my friends refer to as a "squirter" (if you dont kno, just ask, I'm more then willing to explain). Well needless to say we kind of lose track of time, seeing how she's a lil nympho and I'm not complaining. So while I'm down there my drummer comes and bangs on the window telling me were playin in 5 minutes. Me being a gentleman finishes her up lol. So I go on stage not thinkin HEY, I got her love juices all up on my face and beard. So not thinkin, I go on stage and perform with my beard at the time stickin strait out from hardened juices, and it starts to harden on my face because of the hot bright lights. And sweat is only making it worse. So it's really startin to bother me and people in front of the pit can tell because they are all snickering. So three songs in I just say "Yes, I am covered with lady cum, Yes it was tasty, and Yes, it is really bothering my face... WHO WANTS TO LICK IT OFF!!!!" Everyone just screams and laughs as I wash it off with a bottle of water. I have never been that embaressed in my life. Needless to say I was labeled as a total whore for a while lol. But yea, it was hard to go on stage at that venue the next time we were there because I was so embarassed it would happen again lol.


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## This1Yankee (Mar 27, 2007)

Um.

I don't know what to say to that.

Um.

Hm.

Yep, still don't have a witty or otherwise humorous remark.

I got nothing.


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 27, 2007)

Wow. Wow. I'm with This1Yankee on this one..... I don't know what to say. Hm..... OK, how 'bout this.... YOU ROCK!!! LOLOL Either way, it's pretty funny..... 

Thanks for sharing!!




KnottyOne said:


> Ok, so this one gets a lil risque but here I go. So back in the day (like a year and a half, 2 years ago lol) when I was more into the hardcore scene and was singing in a band that was performing on basically a weekly basis, I had more then my fair share of "friends w/ benefits". And they were fans of my bands so at least one was always at a show. So it was kind of my ritual before a show to... erhm, have a lil fun lets say. Either in the venue itself or my car, whichever worked out better lol. (I still stand that the easiest way to get rid of the jitters is to get laid). So were at the show and my friend Jade is there, and I kinda imply hey, I'm nervous, you wanna help me with it? She is more then willing to oblige, god I <3 this girl lol. And actually she is still one of my best friends ^_^. So we go out to my car and start to do our thing. Now it gets to the point where I am down on her, and she is what me and my friends refer to as a "squirter" (if you dont kno, just ask, I'm more then willing to explain). Well needless to say we kind of lose track of time, seeing how she's a lil nympho and I'm not complaining. So while I'm down there my drummer comes and bangs on the window telling me were playin in 5 minutes. Me being a gentleman finishes her up lol. So I go on stage not thinkin HEY, I got her love juices all up on my face and beard. So not thinkin, I go on stage and perform with my beard at the time stickin strait out from hardened juices, and it starts to harden on my face because of the hot bright lights. And sweat is only making it worse. So it's really startin to bother me and people in front of the pit can tell because they are all snickering. So three songs in I just say "Yes, I am covered with lady cum, Yes it was tasty, and Yes, it is really bothering my face... WHO WANTS TO LICK IT OFF!!!!" Everyone just screams and laughs as I wash it off with a bottle of water. I have never been that embaressed in my life. Needless to say I was labeled as a total whore for a while lol. But yea, it was hard to go on stage at that venue the next time we were there because I was so embarassed it would happen again lol.


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 27, 2007)

Kids say the most hilarious things at the best times.... they are price less!!!

Thanks for sharing!!






chunkeymonkey said:


> Ok I had been potty training my son and he was having issues with number two so I found this video called "POTTY TIME" with bear in the big blue house.In the video it has the whole explanation of if you feel uncomfortable and you feel funny you might want to sit on the potty and try.It went on with a bit more detail on trying. Anyways I take my son to the mall and I was in line in the busy food court. Being in line for 15 minutes I was looking to the front of the line to see if it was moving. The one thing that kept me there was a couple of cute sales guys in line waiting for food and they were waving at my son. With in seconds of the guys saying hello my son pipes up and says "hey mom do feel ok" Now I am thinking "oh how sweet my son actually cares how I feel" then comes the kicker....." Its ok if you feel funny all you need to do is go to the bathroom and POOP!!! Do you need to POOP mommy???" No matter how I looked at this ,the entire line heard my son and OMG they were laughing at his cuteness. All I could do is stand there and say to the "one day maybe you will have cute kids too."


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## QuasimodoQT (Mar 27, 2007)

I had a breast reduction early in high school. About a week after I got out of the hospital, a friend was taking a family vacation. They always took me, because the mom and my friend's little sister fought all the time, and I was a good referee, they enjoyed the trip more, and I got a vacation (our family didn't take trips). 

Well, we went to this state fair on part of the trip, and decided to ride a few rides. I went on this one called The Matterhorn, I think. Two people per cart, so my friend and her sis climnb in one, and I get into the next car. The next lady in line climbed in after me. The cars were suspended from top, so when you went around a corner fast, the cart would swing completely out to the side. The first time this happened, since Im on the inside, she slid over and landed on me, her elbow landing hard on the line of stitches on my left, which make a horrid popping sound. :blink: 

I am wearing a white cotton blouse. Every time we go around a corner, she's still landing on me, so the blood starts to soak through the top- I'm kind of in shock, huddled up trying to protect myself. For some reason, when she sees the blood she starts screaming "Help! Police! She's been stabbed! Stabbed! Who has the knife?!! EEEK! Stabbed!!!"  

So the ride is stopped, pandemonium as people are searching for the non-existent stabber, and then I have to make a loud public pronouncement that it's NOT a stabbing, it's just a surgical wound (as I clutch my left boob). Everyone was staring, whispering, pointing, some giggles about locale. I'm in *high school.* I pretty much wanted to die- had to go to the ER and get sewn up again.:doh: 

_____
The other one that pops immediately to mind (there have been so many!) is at a sleepover, 6 high school girls at a friend's house. Back in her bedroom, the girls were teaching me how to fake a burp by swallowing air. I just wasn't getting it. Eventually we move on, out to the living room to watch a movie. Her parents join us. Oh yes, you can see it coming, can't you? 

About 5 minutes in, Vesuvius erupts. And erupts. And keeps erupting... hand to mouth, running out of the room, still belching humiliating fire. I caught a glimpse of the parents as I left, frozen, handful of popcorn halfway to mouth, completely appalled. Um, yeah, me too. The girls were laughing hard enough to hurt the next day. I have *never* heard a burp so loud and long since.:blush:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 27, 2007)

My most embarrassing moment that I can remember NOW as funny happened about 6-7 years ago on the Jersey shore. I was visiting with family during the summer time and we all took a day at the beach. The water was rough and cold that day, so rough it could grab you under/make you fall in water as shallow as your calves. I had grown accustomed to the gentle, warm waters and fine sands of NC beaches. 
It was very crowded on the beach that day. My brother and I were trying to walk into the water when I suddenly felt all the sand dissolve under my feet and the incoming wave made standing rather shaky. The outgoing pull yanked my feet out from under me and down on my back-under the water. I rolled in the waves on the shore for a few moments, there was sand sticking to me everywhere. When I was FINALLY able to pull myself up out of the water, the water pulled down the top of my bathing suit down to my waist. Horrified, I had to promptly sink back down into the rough water for cover. I got the top pulled back up but quickly found that it would slip back down immediately if I didn't hold it in place with my hands. Well, this made getting up near impossible because covering my breasts up made my balance unsteady in the rough water. My brother had been witness to all of this and stood with a look on his face of "What is wrong with you????". I had to yell at him for assistance by standing in front of me while I got those bad boys back in check within my bathing suit top.


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## KnottyOne (Mar 27, 2007)

This1Yankee said:


> Um.
> 
> I don't know what to say to that.
> 
> ...




Yea, I have that talent with people lol


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## BigBeautifulMe (Mar 27, 2007)

*hands Eric a TMI-meter for his future reference*


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## KnottyOne (Mar 27, 2007)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> *hands Eric a TMI-meter for his future reference*



*Turns on TMI machine* Hmmmm, not even reading in my book. Trust me, this experience is PG compared to some of them lol.


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## Jes (Mar 28, 2007)

I don't know if this is PUBLIC humiliation or private, but it's a good story and deserves sharing. I posted this in my clubhouse J-log, but I know you'll all appreciate the (actual) crap that is my life.

So, a few years back, kitty had declared jihad on the bathroom rug. I have a very small bathroom, and her litterbox sits under the sink (it's a cabinetless sink). 

One day, she just decided that crapping ont he blue rug would be more better than using her box. I was horrified, but didn't remove the rug, thinking it was an anomaly. 

not so much. 

she just kept doing it 'til I finally started putting the rug over the bathtub edge when I wasn't exiting the shower. 

Then one morning, I entered the bathroom to see that I'd left my bra on the floor. And kitty had pooped in it. Right there, in the left cup.

I was really grossed out, but (sh)it happens.

Later that same day, I was at work, and having a really bad bra day (no, no, different bra!!). The thing was pinching and chafing and whatnot. I was envisioning 9 hours of hell 'til I remembered that I'd once left a bra in my office desk for this very reason! You know, bra snafus happen. 

So I unlocked my desk drawer, pulled it out to look for the bra (surreptitiously of course, since I work on an aisle in the office) and as I was grabbing a strap, I realized something didn't smell quite right, and...the mice that had infested the office had nested in my desk, and use my bra as a little duplex.

AND THEY'D POOPED IN THEIR NEW DUPLEX. and peed in it, too! It was still nasty/yellow/sticky.

So of course, I immediately got up, and went downstairs to the bathroom to wash up. While I was there, I decided to make use of the facilities myself. And as I was sitting there, I thought: god, this bra is KILLING me. I'm wearing layers! I'll just take the thing off.

So that's just what I did. But of course, I was wearing 18 layers and it was near impossible to get the thing off (not so easy as it looks in FlashDance, I tell you what!). And I'm rooting around and cavorting there by myself, and as I finally grab it, part of it slips into the toilet and...

no. I won't say I pooped on it. I won't. I don't think I did. But it was a narrow escape. 

As I was existing the bathroom, another woman was entering the stall next to mine, and I was tempted to hand her the bra and say: HERE. YOU KNOW. IN CASE YOU WANTED TO POOP IN IT.

The universe was telling me something that day, my friends.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 28, 2007)

Jes said:


> I don't know if this is PUBLIC humiliation or private, but it's a good story and deserves sharing. I posted this in my clubhouse J-log, but I know you'll all appreciate the (actual) crap that is my life.
> 
> So, a few years back, kitty had declared jihad on the bathroom rug. I have a very small bathroom, and her litterbox sits under the sink (it's a cabinetless sink). *snip*
> 
> The universe was telling me something that day, my friends.


Maybe it was saying "Three times is a charm"?  




Jes said:


> I was really grossed out, but (sh)it happens.


This alone was worth reading your post for......


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