# Are you high maintenance?



## Piink (Mar 31, 2013)

Talking with a friend of mine today, and she told me I'm a bit high maintenance. I asked how and her response was, "_You have a small dog who gets dressed in pink, you get your nails and hair done, you dress well, you have tons of makeup, your really picky about how your SO portrays themselves (that is when I have one!), you speak your mind quite often, and you hate the taste of beer_". 

I've honestly never thought of myself as a high maintenance. Right now, I'm about as high maintenance as a rotting carcass, and I honestly feel like one at this point in time. I'm sick as dog.

Even though I do have a lot of makeup products, I rarely wear most of it. I hardly ever do the bright crazy everyday makeup I used to do. And yes, my pooch is spoiled. Why not? I don't have kids. The rest I can't argue with! 

Do you sound like I am high maintenance? Are you or been told you are?


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## Sweet Tooth (Mar 31, 2013)

Piink said:


> Talking with a friend of mine today, and she told me I'm a bit high maintenance. I asked how and her response was, "_You have a small dog who gets dressed in pink, you get your nails and hair done, you dress well, you have tons of makeup, your really picky about how your SO portrays themselves (that is when I have one!), you speak your mind quite often, and you hate the taste of beer_".
> 
> I've honestly never thought of myself as a high maintenance. Right now, I'm about as high maintenance as a rotting carcass, and I honestly feel like one at this point in time. I'm sick as dog.
> 
> ...



My ex used to tell me I was high maintenance. Apparently not being a doormat put me in that category. And then I watch something like Bridezillas and say, "Um, no, if we want comparisons, I'm actually low-to-moderate." Then again, some people see maintenance as an outward, physical, fashion thing. And some focus more on personal strength or opinions.

Still... even if I were truly high maintenance, I'd like to think a man who loves me thinks I'm worth every bit of it. :batting:


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## Pandasaur (Mar 31, 2013)

You don't sound high maintenance at all, actually anyone who likes things a certain way could be known as high maintenance, pretty much everyone is. I get told that all the time. I love makeup, clothes, I think beer tastes horrible and so on. I only drink mixed drinks. I spoil myself all the time since no one else will  

And when I do start dating I will definitely continue to spoil myself


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## CarlaSixx (Apr 1, 2013)

I'm far from high maintenance. Hardly ever wear makeup. My nails are never ever done. Do my hair real quick if even at all. Dress well, but that's because I only buy business casual clothing. Chucks over dress shoes. 

But I have been called high maintenance before. But that was because they weren't used to "fat girl needs" and wasn't expecting me to have standards for daily living activities. Once they got to know me even better, they realized it was just for accessibility, and not a high maintenance thing.


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## Piink (Apr 1, 2013)

Maybe I should re-re-re-read before I post. :doh:

Neither one of these questions make any sense. 


> Do you sound like I am high maintenance? Are you or been told you are?



I never thought I was high maintenance because I always believed I was just making sure I was presentable to the world. 

But then again, I have been known to walk into a gas station covered in mud, sweat, tears, blood, etc. That is definitely *not* high maintenance!


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## toni (Apr 1, 2013)

I am very high maintenance and proud of it. My hair, make up and nails are not always perfect but I think there is more to it than that. I demand to be treated with respect. If you are not doing that, I will call you out on the spot. That way there are no misunderstandings or assumptions. END OF STORY. It works very well for me. 

At the same time, I am giving and sweet. I treat everyone with the same level of respect I demand. I don't care if it is a CEO or a homeless person. Everyone is a human with feelings. High maintenance does not equal bitch.

Stand tall and confident ladies! Embrace the high maintenance title. :bow:


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## loopytheone (Apr 1, 2013)

I'm not high maintenance at all. I don't think being high or low maintenance is something to be proud of because either way you are just looking down on people who aren't like you.

I brush my hair before I leave the house but that is all I do, I never do my nails or makeup (unless we are going out clubbing then I'll wear makeup but I very rarely do that). I don't like fancy clothes, I don't like clothes shopping and I am happy to do whatever will make my friends happy if I have the time. But for the most part a fun evening for me is staying in with my friends or partner and playing video games or watching tv and just chatting the night away. I don't like being taken out places or all that rubbish, just isn't my thing. 

Though I do have a moderately sized dog that is occasionally dressed in pink, but she is more often found covered in mud so I don't think she adds to my maintenance score! =p


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## Dr. Feelgood (Apr 1, 2013)

No one so far has offered a definition of what "high maintenance" actually *means*, so here's my own working definition of the term. If you spend more than you make, you're high maintenance. If you spend less than you make, you're low maintenance. If you spend exactly what you make, you're better at arithmetic than I am.


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## Sweet Tooth (Apr 1, 2013)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> No one so far has offered a definition of what "high maintenance" actually *means*, so here's my own working definition of the term. If you spend more than you make, you're high maintenance. If you spend less than you make, you're low maintenance. If you spend exactly what you make, you're better at arithmetic than I am.



LOL That's good. But how about this add-on? If you demand someone else spend what they make to subsidize you getting what you want or you throw a hissy fit... you're high maintenance. Or, you know, that whole having a backbone thing apparently makes you that too.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 1, 2013)

You don't sound high-maintenance to me, but I'm biased. Allow me to explain.

I've been described as high maintenance by several people, but certainly not people who love me and know me well. I am choosy. I dress beautifully. I have what some call 'high-falutin'' tastes and I speak my mind.

It depends on who uses the term and why. Some people use it disparagingly. In the area I grew up, a woman (never EVER a man) who was confident was referred to as someone who 'thought who the hell she was' and the consensus was that she needed to be brought down a peg. In my experience, misogyny by women is far more insidious than that used by men. Truly confident women were trail-blazers but paid the price by being outliers. This is true even today, everywhere. In some countries, they pay with their life. 

The term, however, can be used endearingly. My best friend refers to me as a neon peacock and herself as a brown hen. When I protest, she says she likes being the brown hen. It's safer for her because she's shy. I also think that there are many men who prefer the 'girl next door' to the 'glamour girl' which is fine with me. I don't want to be with someone who is turned off by my affectations, indulgences and peccadilloes. I like a man who considers me a worthy partner and while a challenge, completely worth it. Because I am. With no apologies.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Apr 6, 2013)

CastingPearls said:


> I've been described as high maintenance by several people, but certainly not people who love me and know me well. I am choosy. I dress beautifully. I have what some call 'high-falutin'' tastes and I speak my mind.



There's a difference between high maintenance and elegance. I know men and women who spend a small fortune on clothes and accessories yet look like refugees from some disaster. OTOH, there are the few -- the very few -- who can look elegant even while wearing a sock monkey hat. :smitten:


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## spiritangel (Apr 6, 2013)

Sweet Tooth said:


> My ex used to tell me I was high maintenance. Apparently not being a doormat put me in that category. And then I watch something like Bridezillas and say, "Um, no, if we want comparisons, I'm actually low-to-moderate." Then again, some people see maintenance as an outward, physical, fashion thing. And some focus more on personal strength or opinions.
> 
> Still... even if I were truly high maintenance, I'd like to think a man who loves me thinks I'm worth every bit of it. :batting:



You know a couple of my exes have said I am high maitanance for the same reasons I like to be ontime for things, and have mutual respect etc

I am not a huge girly girl in the sense I don't wear make up often, and I have never really been a hair and nails person (not bad if you are just not my thing)

crafting is a part of that no point paying a fortune for fancy nails that will get paint, ink and other splatters and be ruined.

I think it depends on who you ask do I have expectations of being treated well and with respect yes.

Will I call you on your bs yes

will I play doormat hell no

I see high maitanance as someone who constantly needs a high level of attention, who can be financially draining to be with, who often has to have the latest and greatest stuff to keep up with the joneses so to speak, who rarely lets their partner have a life of their own, and who is often in many ways somewhat controlling but that could just be me

appearance is an indavidual thing I don't see wanting to look good or do beauty things as the whole high maitanence thing unless it is you know taking 2-3hrs to get ready to go out every time then it would get a bit old pretty fast.

I think we all have diff views on what those words mean to begin with.

I think its funny my exes thought I was considering they never were told they could not go somewhere or do things with others, I never stopped them from doing things they wanted to do with or without me, I encouraged them, did nice things for them, do not have the expectation of living in someones pocket so to speak. But such is life sometimes people see the need for mutual respect and to be treated respectfully as High Maitenance shrugs


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## melinda333 (Apr 8, 2013)

There's two definitions of high maintenance that I know, the beauty related and the money related. 

Even though I shop quite a bit, I never buy anything expensive, or expect expensive gifts. I try to buy the cheapest I can for a quality item. I always have my nails done, and my hair is never unkempt, it's always clean and moisturized...and roots never show (I dye it a natural shade of red). I think it looks cute even in a bun. I wear casual clothes that fit me well and look nice, mainly skirts and dresses. I wear some makeup, powder and lipstick mostly.

I don't think I'm high maintenance but some would think so. Nothing I do takes "time", but it's not like I can just grab any jeans and T shirt either. I do have to search for my clothes and some specific beauty products, but most of the time now it's just grab and go, because I know what to buy.

I do blow dry half my hair everyday (5-10 min)...which is the only troublesome/annoying (high maintenence?) part.

Hating beer is irrelevant.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 8, 2013)

What I find really sad is this apologetic tone that women are taking and feeling the need to explain themselves and separate themselves from 'those women'. Why are we explaining our behavior to avoid falling into some ambiguous category men and women alike use to keep women down, to attempt (often successfully) to make them feel bad for being themselves, for wanting good things, for defining THEIR ideas of ambition? 

To the best of my knowledge, this term isn't used (or perhaps, commonly used) for men nor does it have a male counterpart which furthers my belief that this is yet another insidious form of misogyny that changes at the whim of the accuser AND accusee (not me! *I* don't do X, I SWEAR!!!, Oh, I'm not ridiculously this or that) already stepping away from the untouchables. Really? 
You do realize as women, that you've been punked, don't you? You've allowed yourselves to be cornered and pigeonholed into thinking that if you're anything other than compliant and smart BUT NOT TOO SMART, as in smarter than men perhaps, and beautiful, BUT NOT TOO BEAUTIFUL lest we become arrogant....the list goes on and does because we play the game so willingly, that no matter what you do, you fail. It's set up that way. 

What does it benefit you or me to play the game? Do we win a prize? Is that prize A MAN? Or perhaps the approval of other women? How do you know when you step outside such vague guidelines? Aren't you tired of being categorized and always found wanting, never quite enough because by being yourself you've failed according to those who continue to play the game? 

I don't like this game. So I'm not playing it. And I don't play well with others who play well with others. I'm more the 'runs with scissors' crowd anyway.


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## Surlysomething (Apr 8, 2013)

High maintenance? What is that really?
I think it varies with everyone. 

I personally don't like to take more than 30 - 45 mins to get ready. That's shower, dress, makeup, hair, out the door. Unless it's a special occasion.

Do I like getting my hair done? Yes. Do I like getting pedicures? Yes.
I work hard. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. Screw everyone else and their opinions. Haha.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Apr 8, 2013)

CastingPearls said:


> To the best of my knowledge, this term isn't used (or perhaps, commonly used) for men nor does it have a male counterpart.



A high maintenance man is one who doesn't pick up after himself. A high maintenance woman is one who doesn't pick up after him, either.


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## Saoirse (Apr 8, 2013)

If you own a dog that sits in your purse, you're high maintanence


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## CastingPearls (Apr 8, 2013)

How many pounds does her dog have to weigh for a woman to be regarded as high-maintenance?
How many men does a woman have to sleep with to be regarded as a slut?

Why don't we comprehend or care that objectifying women hurts everyone?


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## snuggletiger (Apr 8, 2013)

__________


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## Saoirse (Apr 8, 2013)

No more than 5 lbs. I deal with women like this allllll the time.


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## Piink (Apr 8, 2013)

Saoirse said:


> No more than 5 lbs. I deal with women like this allllll the time.



Sage is 5lbs. But I also refuse to stick her in some purse. She walks on her harness or if she gets tired (which happens when you have short legs) or we are in a high traffic area, I will carry her. And I will *never* push her in one of those doggy strollers.

And in all honesty, I started the thread as it was a silly conversation between me and a girl I have known literally my entire life. It was all in good jest as she knows I am no where near high maintenance.


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## Saoirse (Apr 8, 2013)

I got no prob with high maintanence ladies. I just gave an answer.


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## Piink (Apr 8, 2013)

Saoirse said:


> I got no prob with high maintanence ladies. I just gave an answer.



I didn't think you did. Just saying why I started the thread in general.


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## Saoirse (Apr 8, 2013)

Piink said:


> I didn't think you did. Just saying why I started the thread in general.



Oh yea sorry. Wasn't directed at ya really. Just 'splaining myself. Of course I'm a huge slut, so I can't say much. 

Also- if you've ever dated my older brother, you're high maintanence! Haha


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## Piink (Apr 8, 2013)

Saoirse said:


> Oh yea sorry. Wasn't directed at ya really. Just 'splaining myself. Of course I'm a huge slut, so I can't say much.
> 
> Also- if you've ever dated my older brother, you're high maintanence! Haha



I'm pretty sure if your family saves your number under "Slut Puppy" you've got a problem!  Ask me how I know!!


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## Oona (Apr 9, 2013)

Definitely not high maintenance, in my opinion. It seems that you just care about your appearance in the sense that you don't want to come across as uncaring, or slob-like. 

So what if you have a small dog that wears pink? I have two big dogs that I put sweaters on when its cold out. *shrugs*

To me, high maintenance is more of requiring certain time for things (ie: hours for hair and makeup.. I mean HOURS), demanding things be a certain way, etc. I don't like beer either. So if that's high maintenance, then fuck it. I'm high maintenance. 

But in general, no, I don't see myself as high maintenance. I'm a pretty easy going, go with the flow kind of girl.


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## SSBBW Katerina (Apr 17, 2013)

Uh oh, sounds like that scene in WHEN HARRY MET SALLY. No one has ever dared to tell me to my face that I can be "high maintenance". At times I know I can be, but I have a mellow yet coquettish way of getting it across. I don't go off unless really pushed. 

I'm focused, I'm impatient [inherited from my dad], I push myself, I expect a lot from myself to the bset of my abilities and in turn I expect a lot from others; to do their level best. And why not? It should be that way for everyone. And if that's the case, then to some degree we're ALL high maintenance. My hubby:wubu:, and others [strangers & those I'd known for a long time yet not seen in yrs] told me I was a cake walk. Now I wouldn't say my hubby was always biased, after all I worked for the man for a few yrs long before we ever dated. He was UBER high maintenance, but thats how his life/ business was. I hd to accommodate and adjust or get run over and not work for him. In that respect, for me, he just had the mental- emotional and testicular fortitude that others do not.

So if you have someone [male or female] whom is wishy-washy & can't handle the 'work load', you may have to bring in a second person that can meet your realistic needs/ goals and go further. Its a win-win.... win. lol.


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## KittyKitten (Apr 18, 2013)

I like to present my best face to the world. I don't go out looking sloppy and rough, no matter where I am going. And it doesn't cost much to look great. You don't have to spend a fortune to look high maintenance. I mostly love wearing dresses, but when I wear jeans and tennis shoes, I make sure I still look 'fly', makeup on point, hair laid. I've never been to a pedicure, I just use good old fashioned vaseline or vitamin E oil on my feet and paint my toenails, lol. I hate the taste of beer too, I prefer my girly drinks. I spend some of my time looking up blogs of vintage beauty and fashion, I love the elegance those women alluded.


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## BBW MeganLynn44DD (Nov 11, 2013)

I know I am high maintenance.Will not even attempt to deny it.If I go to the bank on a Saturday,grocery shopping or just go outside to get the mail. it is in makeup,hair done and dressed nice.Do not have expensive tastes but just have to try and look good.


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## Ms Charlotte BBW (Nov 11, 2013)

I don't know if I'd say I'm high maintenance...I just like to look good when I go out. It makes me feel good when I look good. But there are times when I will run to the store with no make-up or hair done. Is it so wrong to want to look pretty?


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## LillyBBBW (Nov 11, 2013)

I think people are confusing it with high standards. I don't care how many shoes or action figures you own. As long as you are taking care of yourself you are not high maintenance. When I think high maintenance I think needy.


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## loopytheone (Nov 12, 2013)

Ms Charlotte BBW said:


> Is it so wrong to want to look pretty?



Whilst the phrase 'high maintenance' has a negative connotation in society in general I don't think anybody here was trying to say it was a bad thing. Just like how the word fat has a negative connotation to a lot of people but is used as a neutral term around here. That is my take on it at least.

I also have no idea how you ladies have the time and energy for all that! I am kinda jealous that you do though! I am completely unbothered about such things, I brush my hair most of the time if I am leaving the house but that is generally all I can be bothered with!


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## Tad (Nov 12, 2013)

LillyBBBW said:


> I think people are confusing it with high standards. I don't care how many shoes or action figures you own. As long as you are taking care of yourself you are not high maintenance. When I think high maintenance I think needy.



That was something that I was never clear on. When someone is described as 'high maintenance,' is that supposed to mean that they put a lot of time into their appearance, etc, or that they need a lot from their partner? Or is it one of those 'it varies on who is saying it and the context' things?


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## Ms Charlotte BBW (Nov 12, 2013)

loopytheone said:


> I brush my hair most of the time if I am leaving the house but that is generally all I can be bothered with!



I am jealous that you are secure enough in your beauty to only need to brush your hair before leaving the house. I think, well I_ know_...I am very insecure with the way I look which is why I _am_ high maintenance, if that makes sense?


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## loopytheone (Nov 12, 2013)

Ms Charlotte BBW said:


> I am jealous that you are secure enough in your beauty to only need to brush your hair before leaving the house. I think, well I_ know_...I am very insecure with the way I look which is why I _am_ high maintenance, if that makes sense?



Well thank you very much! I know a lot of the time people who prefer the whole makeup and styling look think that I must be insecure and be down on myself for not dressing up. But it is more a being comfortable in my own skin thing and I have always thought that people should do whatever makes them feel comfortable, you know? 

Also, I don't think you have any reason to feel insecure, from what I can see from your picture you look pretty to me. :happy:


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## penguin (Nov 12, 2013)

I'm too lazy to want to do fancy hair and makeup every day. Also, I'd be likely to sweat makeup off in the summer down here, which isn't a look I want to go for. I'm also really out of practice with doing my makeup. I should probably take lessons or watch a bunch of youtube videos, just to refresh my skills.


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## AmyJo1976 (Nov 12, 2013)

I used to love getting all dressed up to go out when I was younger. I still do on accasion, but not very often. Most of the time it's sweats for everyday life and maybe a dress for work.


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## Ms Charlotte BBW (Nov 13, 2013)

loopytheone said:


> Also, I don't think you have any reason to feel insecure, from what I can see from your picture you look pretty to me. :happy:



Awwww thank you! But...it took a lot of makeup and hairspray to look like that! :blush:


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## bigmac (Nov 14, 2013)

LillyBBBW said:


> I think people are confusing it with high standards. I don't care how many shoes or action figures you own. As long as you are taking care of yourself you are not high maintenance. *When I think high maintenance I think needy*.



Yes, that's my definition too. A high maintenance person is someone who demands an inordinate amount of attention or money or both.

Low maintenance on the other hand is someone who takes care of what needs to be taken care of without a lot of drama or unreasonable demands on others.


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## FatAndProud (Nov 16, 2013)

I don't care what I look like to go out to the store. I don't care what others think of my appearance. I do dress when I am going on a date or doing something "important" that day (doc appt, SOS office, etc.) because you do get treated a lot better when kept. 

I'm definitely not high maintenance and have met many men that are. It's an instant turn-off. I like a modest man.


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## cheesylier (Nov 21, 2013)

LillyBBBW said:


> I think people are confusing it with high standards. I don't care how many shoes or action figures you own. As long as you are taking care of yourself you are not high maintenance. When I think high maintenance I think needy.



I definitely agree, I don't like to think I'm high maintenance at all but I do strive to push myself to look and feel at my best. I'm not too afraid to fight or love but I don't like to look frumpy. 

As a side note, Hi Lilly!!! I miss your Xanga posts


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## Lamia (Nov 23, 2013)

To me high maintenance is someone who has to always have their way. Also, they will not settle for less than the best. They will disrupt the flow of fun in order to try to force something their way. Self-centered and vain. 

I don't really think of looking pretty and wearing makeup as high maintenance.


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## loopytheone (Nov 23, 2013)

Hmm, this is interesting. I love discussing what people think of when they say certain words and phrases, it is amazing how many different views there are on the same few words and it really helps clear up about 50% of arguments!

For me, somebody who is high maintenance is a person that requires a lot of time or a lot of resources in their preparations for everyday life. Like I said, not necessarily a bad thing in my eyes.


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## Largent (Dec 6, 2013)

Being described as "high maintenance" is really about the inner workings of the person's mental attitudes. The discussions here seem to have gone off on a tangent about the way people present or maintain their physical selves - but I describe a person as "high maintenance" when they require a lot of relationship-energy but don't respond meaningfully, recipricate or "get it" at all - the kind of person that is so difficult to be yourself with that you just tend to give up eventually.


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## Donna (Dec 7, 2013)

Physically I am definitely high maintenance. I am handicapped due to RA compounded by being supersized, so I sometimes require assistance. I don't like asking for it and strive to be as independent as possible but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

Appearance wise I am also high maintenance. I have standing bi-weekly mani/pedi/waxing appointments and monthly hair and facial appointments. I dress comfortably, but in general I will not leave the house looking sloppy. I don't get all bent out of shape if others are dressed sloppy (I have a friend who does, though and it amuses me for reasons I cannot explain,) but I do take care of my appearance and make sure I am what I believe to be "well put together."

Emotionally I like to think I am in the average maintenance. My husband describes me as low maintenance. While I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and take things too personally sometimes, I recognize that about myself and try not to let it effect my behavior towards others. I'm not needy or clingy emotionally and often most of those close to me do not know when they have hurt my feelings. I haven't always been this way...when I was younger I was very needy emotionally and oftentimes extremely demanding.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 8, 2013)

bigmac said:


> Yes, that's my definition too. A high maintenance person is someone who demands an inordinate amount of attention or money or both.
> 
> Low maintenance on the other hand is someone who takes care of what needs to be taken care of without a lot of drama or unreasonable demands on others.



That's pretty much what I have always taken it to mean...and I do think it's a term that was created by men to describe some women...and I wonder if it started out as an automotive term. 



Lamia said:


> To me high maintenance is someone who has to always have their way. Also, they will not settle for less than the best. They will disrupt the flow of fun in order to try to force something their way. Self-centered and vain.
> 
> I don't really think of looking pretty and wearing makeup as high maintenance.



I can agree with this ideal



Largent said:


> Being described as "high maintenance" is really about the inner workings of the person's mental attitudes. The discussions here seem to have gone off on a tangent about the way people present or maintain their physical selves - but I describe a person as "high maintenance" when they require a lot of relationship-energy but don't respond meaningfully, recipricate or "get it" at all - the kind of person that is so difficult to be yourself with that you just tend to give up eventually.



Sounds like this all goes back to the aforementioned "needy"

The OP doesn't sound needy or "high maintenance" to me. Dress how you want that makes you feel good- isn't it fun being a girl? 


I wear make up everyday unless I don't feel good and don't leave my house - which is rare. 

I wear dresses and skirts to work or otherwise- not owning many trousers. 

I drink beer- but I'm kind of "prissy" or "girly" about it as in I won't drink lagers - only preferring golden, light American made beers. My 21 year old daughter seems to like what I think of as "harsh" beer. 

I can out-curse most sailors- in my dress and sweet little flat shoes.

I can be opinionated, chortle loudly in public and generally pop a mostly not give a shit attitude in public if something/someone annoys me. 

I've been called funny, strong, crazy, wild, bitch and cunt....but never high maintenance or needy. 

The few "high maintenance" men I have known in my life tend to be single...the women tend to always have a man. Go figure *shrugs*


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## prplecat (Dec 9, 2013)

Let's see...I'm showered, teeth brushed, hair combed, underclothes/t-shirt/jeans/socks/shoes...yeah, I'm good to go. :happy:


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## BigCutieAspen (Mar 16, 2014)

im somewhat high maintenance :$ but i enjoy taking the time doing my hair,make up and nails. its like my version of relaxing!


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## sarahreign (Apr 15, 2014)

I don't think that you are high maintenance. That term to me means that you have your man buy you everything and are more of a "gimmie Gimmie" type of girl and in order to be in a relationship with you, you require $$$$. That's what it means to me. I think every girl likes to look nice and it doesn't mean that is H.M. 
Now about myself nope, I'm far from high maint. Give me me a gun and lets go hunting. Let's go fishing. I will buy cheap crap because it's 90% of the time the same as the expensive name brand. I don't require your wallet do be with anybody (unless we are in that sort of lifestyle/relationship because I like a bunch of different things) but in general I'm far from H.M. If a guy LIKES a high maint girl then I sure as hell can be one. I'm about mutual feelings mostly to keep us both happy!


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## ssbbwstormy (Apr 21, 2014)

you dont sound spoiled! i guess im a little high maintenance myself  i love it when the person im with is up to pay for my fast food or new clothes!


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## Amatrix (Jan 7, 2015)

I mean... I have a room for my makeup, I have a small dog I am obsessed with... I get my nails and hair done... maid service...etc.

I also own a gun, enjoy dune buggies, garden, I have worked in a slaughter house for crying out loud... and on a ranch during calf season.

I enjoy a huge bath tub with bubbles and champagne... but I also like sleeping out under the stars with the dirt and bugs. 

Some days I can spend 4+ hours (shower, shave, blow dry, makeup, outfit, accessories, etc) getting ready and other days I barely manage to drag myself to the shower. 

I don't think I am needy, even if I have a tendency to forget to use my words when I need help. I don't need my SO to tell me they love me, or remind me why we got married everyday... I think I clearly communicate what I want now, and am better heard so I don't consider myself high maintenance... and I give a hoot about what others think anyways. lol:happy:


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## Dr. Feelgood (Jan 7, 2015)

Amatrix said:


> I don't think I am needy, even if I have a tendency to forget to use my words when I need help. I don't need my SO to tell me they love me, or remind me why we got married everyday... I think I clearly communicate what I want now, and am better heard so I don't consider myself high maintenance...



When you come right down to it, "high maintenance" means whatever you think it means. I've never thought of high-maintenance women as being particularly needy...at least not in an emotional sense. In fact, the ones I've dated have been very independent, high-powered, go-ahead kinds of people. What they DID need was lots and lots of money to maintain themselves in the style they wished, so that's what high-maintenance means to me.


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## Amatrix (Jan 8, 2015)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> When you come right down to it, "high maintenance" means whatever you think it means. I've never thought of high-maintenance women as being particularly needy...at least not in an emotional sense. In fact, the ones I've dated have been very independent, high-powered, go-ahead kinds of people. What they DID need was lots and lots of money to maintain themselves in the style they wished, so that's what high-maintenance means to me.


Totally agree!
I just skimmed through and saw some mentions of what high maintenance means or meant to them and saw how I was judging only myself. I think I pull my own weight most of the time, and when I feel like I can I carry as much as I am given. I guess I am saying I try hard, and I hear "thank you" often enough I can count it daily so I think I fit into "both" from the peanut gallery (significant other). I came in needy, but I am breaking out more and more. He not only finances it, he encourages it (he keeps me safe, and I keep him wild).

I have been called "high maintenance" before (only by men though and used more as an insult so my knee jerk reaction was the same. Example of what I initially thought was "high maintenance;" my SO used to make his ex walk around with a grand cash, she would get her hair and nails done every 2 weeks, she always had a new dress and drove a Benz. I am very much on a different path, although comfortable not as cushy. It is all VERY subjective, as only men who were upset with me or frustrated called me "high maintenance" where as you use it more as an powerful term which I love:bow:.), and I guess I know exactly what my daily life costs to "maintain..." so if the occasion occurred that I had to "fend for myself" I honestly think I would be just fine.


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## lucca23v2 (Jan 8, 2015)

Below is the link to the meaning of high maintenance... in regards to people it would be definition 2- the informal one.. demanding a great deal of attention, money or effort.

I think it is a "empty term" it can mean whatever anyone wants it to mean. 

Personally, when I hear someone say that, I hear "I do not have the time or inclination or the want to deal with you".

If someone really loves you, they will listen to you and have time for you regardless of how important or trivial your situation might be.

That being said I try not to be high maintenance. Everyone has there moments of being high maintenance, and I know I have had mine! I try to not have too many moments of those.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/high-maintenance


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## BigCutieAurora (Jul 31, 2015)

Um, who says being high maintenance is a bad thing? We don't call men high maintenance when they wear suits all the time, wear nice cologne and drive nice cars which god forbid get dirty. I don't think that caring about your appearance, or not liking a particular alcohol is something to be ashamed of.... People just put women in that category to belittle them and keep us in our place. It's quite funny actually.
So I have standards for myself and others, and I wont let people treat me like shit... sue me (;


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## BigCutieChloe (Dec 2, 2015)

BigCutieAurora said:


> Um, who says being high maintenance is a bad thing? We don't call men high maintenance when they wear suits all the time, wear nice cologne and drive nice cars which god forbid get dirty. I don't think that caring about your appearance, or not liking a particular alcohol is something to be ashamed of.... People just put women in that category to belittle them and keep us in our place. It's quite funny actually.
> So I have standards for myself and others, and I wont let people treat me like shit... sue me (;


 
yap girl you took the words out of my mouth while reading these comments! I am always categorized as high maintenance and its only because i maintain and value my appearance and my SO appearance and things like that but in life, I'm very easy going and can go with the flow


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## lucca23v2 (Dec 2, 2015)

BigCutieAurora said:


> Um, who says being high maintenance is a bad thing? We don't call men high maintenance when they wear suits all the time, wear nice cologne and drive nice cars which god forbid get dirty. I don't think that caring about your appearance, or not liking a particular alcohol is something to be ashamed of.... People just put women in that category to belittle them and keep us in our place. It's quite funny actually.
> So I have standards for myself and others, and I wont let people treat me like shit... sue me (;


 


BigCutieAurora said:


> *Um, who says being high maintenance is a bad thing? We don't call men high maintenance when they wear suits all the time,*


 
There is just one thing about this statement. men don't wear suits because they want to. It is what they have to wear to appear professional. If given the choice, I think most men would prefer to wear their jeans or sweats all the time, where women tend to always want to dress up. They need the shoes, the handbags, etc.

Caring abut your appearance is not the issue. The 4 hours to get ready for a simple date= High Maintenance. 

Spending excessive amounts of money on one outfit for a date, when you could look just as sophisticated, classy and sexy and elegant in an outfit that cost $60 = High Maintenance.

Going into debt to look pretty= High Maintenance..

Men don't really do any of those things. There are those few men that are DIVAS and they go for name brands and take longer than women to get ready, but for the most part, men are content with non name brands that look good on them and are comfortable.


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## Sculptor (Oct 9, 2016)

I'm a tomboy but I clean up well :happy:


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## SecretlyaKitten (Oct 10, 2016)

One of my least favorite fat girl stereotypes has to be that we're all low maintenance. Because, of course, no one pays us any attention so we just have to accept whatever we're given.  Yeah, right.

Let's go with the definition that was mentioned before: _"demanding a great deal of attention, money, or effort."_ To me it should be clear that this isn't just talking about money, and so I don't know why there seem to be so many people here focusing on just that. . . . People who "require" you to buy them a bunch of shiny objects are high maintenance, yes--but not everyone who is high maintenance is like that. Not to be repetitive, but let's remember that being high maintenance means that you demand attention, money, _OR_ effort--and I definitely require a lot of effort. Damn right I'm like that! In the words of good old Jay Pritchett from Modern Family: "Trees are like women: the best ones make you work just a little bit harder."

That doesn't mean they have to buy me things all the time to get my attention (you can't _buy_ me). It doesn't mean that they need to kiss the ground I walk on (ew). But it does mean I like it when they open doors for me. It does mean that they don't get to talk to me like I'm "less than," or any other crap. It does mean that they're not able to do absolutely anything they want around me.

Being high maintenance is NOT a bad thing, and yes, I absolutely am.

EDIT, because it pays to be clear in these: Of course, there are everyone's connotations and all that good stuff. Much of this is my own connotation, after all!


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