# why are there no gay men on dimensions?.



## mergirl (Oct 3, 2008)

Ok, i tried to post this question before but i dont think i was succinct enough perhaps and my post got moved to the lounge.
I think this question is very much related to size acceptance and so is suitable for the main board.
Not anything to do with Fun, Games and off topic stuff to make is suitable for "The lounge".
The thread did kinna go off topic but the origional message still stands.
I have no idea how many people actually come to dimensions but i'm guessing a lot .. now if one in 20 people are gay men i'm guessing that Worldwide quite a few of them might be Fa's or Fat!!
I personally know two Gay male Fa's and i dont actually personally know any straight male ones or female come to think of it.
Is this a question of not wanting to mess around with a formula or offend certain people or is it just that there has been no call for a gay male forum here because there quite simply have been no gay men?
I think if there were a forum then maby gay guys would feel more welcome and who knows might even post on the other Forums too.
Anyway this was my initial post.
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=47938

i think!! i dont know how to link posts..

Mods. If you still think this post isnt suitable for the main board then of course you have every right to move it again! Preferably to the new gay guy "sauna" forum! 

xmer


----------



## No-No-Badkitty (Oct 3, 2008)

mergirl said:


> Ok, i tried to post this question before but i dont think i was succinct enough perhaps and my post got moved to the lounge.
> I think this question is very much related to size acceptance and so is suitable for the main board.
> Not anything to do with Fun, Games and off topic stuff to make is suitable for "The lounge".
> The thread did kinna go off topic but the origional message still stands.
> ...




I don't have an answer to your question sorry...but maybe gay men tend to like thin? Who knows...


----------



## LalaCity (Oct 3, 2008)

Well, my guess is that, originally, Dimensions started as a board pretty much exclusively devoted to straight male FAs and the BBWs they admired, and remains largely focused on that culture. Gay male "chubby chasing" boards, meanwhile, evolved and began to thrive elsewhere. Thus the (still, relatively) small, predominantly hetero, BHM board here just doesn't draw men away from that established scene.


----------



## Blackjack (Oct 3, 2008)

No-No-Badkitty said:


> I don't have an answer to your question sorry...but maybe gay men tend to like thin? Who knows...



There's thin guys who like big guys, and there's big guys who're gay. However, considering that Dims is geared more towards BBW rather than BHM, and the fact that the BHM board here is predominantly heterosexual, homosexual males would be in an extreme minority. There are, however, a number of sites that I've come across that are specifically for homosexual BHMs and the guys that love them.


----------



## No-No-Badkitty (Oct 3, 2008)

Blackjack said:


> There's thin guys who like big guys, and there's big guys who're gay. However, considering that Dims is geared more towards BBW rather than BHM, and the fact that the BHM board here is predominantly heterosexual, homosexual males would be in an extreme minority. There are, however, a number of sites that I've come across that are specifically for homosexual BHMs and the guys that love them.



Okay...there ya go !!! 
Thanks BlackJack!


----------



## mergirl (Oct 3, 2008)

No-No-Badkitty said:


> I don't have an answer to your question sorry...but maybe gay men tend to like thin? Who knows...


Theres actually a HUGE Fa subculture in the gay male community. Bears and chasers. They are a LOT more "out" than a lot of hetrosexual Fa's for some reason.


----------



## mergirl (Oct 3, 2008)

Blackjack said:


> There's thin guys who like big guys, and there's big guys who're gay. However, considering that Dims is geared more towards BBW rather than BHM, and the fact that the BHM board here is predominantly heterosexual, homosexual males would be in an extreme minority. There are, however, a number of sites that I've come across that are specifically for homosexual BHMs and the guys that love them.


yeah. Maby Dimensions is missing a trick there. Why not have a gay male Forum? I'm sure that some gay guys would be a welcome addition to Dimensions.


----------



## LalaCity (Oct 3, 2008)

mergirl said:


> yeah. Maby Dimensions is missing a trick there. Why not have a gay male Forum? I'm sure that some gay guys would be a welcome addition to Dimensions.



I just don't think it's practical for Conrad to set up a new board for a population that doesn't exist here at Dimensions -- at least not to the extent that they have a noticeable presence.


----------



## mergirl (Oct 3, 2008)

LalaCity said:


> I just don't think it's practical for Conrad to set up a new board for a population that doesn't exist here at Dimensions -- at least not to the extent that they have a noticeable presence.


But there were no Fa's at Dimensions before it was set up!!
If yiu want people to move to your city you have to build houses for them to stay in.. lest they get cold tootsies!

xmer


----------



## LalaCity (Oct 3, 2008)

mergirl said:


> But there were no Fa's at Dimensions before it was set up!!
> If yiu want people to move to your city you have to build houses for them to stay in.. lest they get cold tootsies!
> 
> xmer



True...I just think that Dimensions has become so large and so expensive and time-consuming a thing for Conrad to maintain, that adding new boards now is only done when a real need is expressed. 

If you look at some of the gay FA sites out there, they have such a specific outlook on their particular culture and interests -- it's really something that's not here at Dimensions and seems unlikely to evolve given that there are other websites which fill the need so well. But, who knows -- maybe someday that presence will organically form here as well.


----------



## mergirl (Oct 3, 2008)

LalaCity said:


> True...I just think that Dimensions has become so large and so expensive and time-consuming a thing for Conrad to maintain, that adding new boards now is only done when a real need is expressed.
> 
> If you look at some of the gay FA sites out there, they have such a specific outlook on their particular culture and interests -- it's really something that's not here at Dimensions and seems unlikely to evolve given that there are other websites which fill the need so well. But, who knows -- maybe someday that presence will organically form here as well.


hmm perhaps, i do hope so because i am (as stated before) a huge fag hag.. and miss my queens! lol 
oh well i'll just have to stick to being a real life faghag and not an internet one!!


----------



## Observer (Oct 3, 2008)

Actually there are some gay guys in our community and a few of them have disclosed it. I've no doubt there are others. But since this is a size admiration site, not one that emphasizes sexual orientation, they don't trumpet it. 

If you stop for a moment I think this is reasonable. If I were gay I don't think I would want to brand myself as a "fag," but would rather just be myself and blend in. That's how I treat the gays I'm aware of both here and in RL/


----------



## mergirl (Oct 3, 2008)

hmm..Thats sort of easy for you to say exactly because it is a size aceptance site where you are straight until proven otherwise. A lot of people come here to flirt or meet up with people. I'm not saying people have to trumpet or brand themselves a fagatarian.. thats not it at all.. i'm just wondering why it isnt plausable to have a room for gay guys.. as the rest of the rooms are geared towards hetrosexual people even though it is unspoken. If It was JUST about size acceptance then why would the bhm board need the added tag of "and ffa's" I think this is a reasonable comment.


----------



## likeitmatters (Oct 3, 2008)

I am the only openly gay man here on this board and I enjoy speaking and chatting with the straight community over the gay community because I dont have the problem of being hit on.


----------



## likeitmatters (Oct 3, 2008)

whether they are straight or gay. my soon to ex partner is big and I have spoken to quite a few on here and first I advise them that I like to give compliments with any sexual overtones and I like to know how women around them react to their size.

they are alot of gay men who love big men and alot of big men who love big men also.

any questions, feel free to ask me


----------



## mergirl (Oct 3, 2008)

likeitmatters said:


> whether they are straight or gay. my soon to ex partner is big and I have spoken to quite a few on here and first I advise them that I like to give compliments with any sexual overtones and I like to know how women around them react to their size.
> 
> they are alot of gay men who love big men and alot of big men who love big men also.
> 
> any questions, feel free to ask me


whoot! yay! Perhaps you are the only gay in the village! Can i please be your faghag? lol.. though me, pinky n cor may have to fight over that! 
So, aside from chatting in "straight" places cause you dont get hit on, would you like to see Dimensions catering more for gay guys or are you happy the way things are?? i guess thats my question..

xmer


----------



## BothGunsBlazing (Oct 3, 2008)

Go onto one of the more popular Chaser/BHM websites and go onto their forum and suggest that they open another section for straight females and what not and see what happens and report back to me after the smoke clears.


----------



## mergirl (Oct 3, 2008)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Go onto one of the more popular Chaser/BHM websites and go onto their forum and suggest that they open another section for straight females and what not and see what happens and report back to me after the smoke clears.


Are you suggesting that Dimensions is hetro only? Cause i thought it was for all sexual orientations...
i dont expect women to be involved in gay male only sites.. but i do expect gay males to be involved in non specific sexuality sites..as i thought this was. If its a straight only place then tell me and i'll fuck off.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing (Oct 3, 2008)

mergirl said:


> Are you suggesting that Dimensions is hetro only? Cause i thought it was for all sexual orientations...
> i dont expect women to be involved in gay male only sites.. but i do expect gay males to be involved in non specific sexuality sites..as i thought this was. If its a straight only place then tell me and i'll fuck off.



It's not, but I'm just saying, it's not really labeled as a straight site either. Those sites however are, specifically labeled GAY. I can understand where you're coming from, but once a site starts catering to a specific people within what it's already there for .. more people will want their own specific place and eventually the site will spread so thin it just won't be enjoyable anymore. There is already conflict that some of the BHMs and FFAs feel excluded .. that'd just be a whole new can of worms.


----------



## mergirl (Oct 3, 2008)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> It's not, but I'm just saying, it's not really labeled as a straight site either. Those sites however are, specifically labeled GAY. I can understand where you're coming from, but once a site starts catering to a specific people within what it's already there for .. more people will want their own specific place and eventually the site will spread so thin it just won't be enjoyable anymore. There is already conflict that some of the BHMs and FFAs feel excluded .. that'd just be a whole new can of worms.


right. i see what you mean. It was actually because of the bhm/ffa specific forum i actually wondered about gay guy fa's and fat gay guys and if they were to come here then where they would go. While i think you are right that there is no sense creating a ghetto within a ghetto i also think that if there is the offset of ffa then why not gay fa too..


----------



## Still a Skye fan (Oct 3, 2008)

Hmmm...interesting topic and interesting replies.

I know this question has pretty much already been answered but I imagine there just aren't very many gay FA men who are interested in this site (are they any others apart from the one gent who spoke up?), I guess they probably visit the sites geared to their interests.

Personally, I don't know very many homosexuals: I know one lesbian who's on the chubby/chunky side and her partner is a tiny/skinny gal. I know a trio of gay guys who are all average to BHM in size and their partners are all different in builds.

To each their own, I guess ~shrugs~

Dennis


----------



## Dr. P Marshall (Oct 4, 2008)

Actually, I think even if they did set up a sub forum like that here, it probably wouldn't get a lot of traffic. It just seems that there are already several comprehensive and large gay FA/BHM sites out there in cyberspace and so I would imagine that most gay FA/BHM already participate at those places and don't feel the need to branch out to a place like Dims. I don't think anyone thinks of Dims as straight only by any stretch of the imagination, but I could see how the fact that it is geared more towards BBW/male FA (in terms of numbers of members) and that there are already large gay FA/BHM sites in existence might make it rare for gay men to seek Dims out in the first place. And since there are more BBW than BHM here, it makes more sense that lesbian/bisexual women FAs might feel more at home here than gay/bisexual men would. But I don't think anyone actually is trying to exclude gay men. I hope not.


----------



## Fascinita (Oct 4, 2008)

Dr. P Marshall said:


> And since there are more BBW than BHM here, it makes more sense that lesbian/bisexual women FAs might feel more at home here than gay/bisexual men would. But I don't think anyone actually is trying to exclude gay men. I hope not.



There are more fat women than fat men, certainly. But I don't know if there are more women than men, broadly speaking. I know it's not what you meant, but your statement reads a little as if people only come here when they're interested in finding whatever with fat people. But in fact, fat people come here to find whatever with less-than-fat people, too. So please don't relegate us to a passive role. I imagine that some non-fat people find "whatever" with non-fat people here sometimes, too. So, in terms of numbers, it evens out. Fat people are not the only "targets" here. We are not passively waiting around like merchandise to be consumed by active consumer thin people. In fact, we come here looking for all kinds of experiences, ourselves, and we find it across the demographics at Dims--whether thin, fat or in-between.


----------



## Dr. P Marshall (Oct 4, 2008)

Fascinita said:


> There are more fat women than fat men, certainly. But I don't know if there are more women than men, broadly speaking. I know it's not what you meant, but your statement reads a little as if people only come here when they're interested in finding whatever with fat people. But in fact, fat people come here to find whatever with less-than-fat people, too. So please don't relegate us to a passive role. I imagine that some non-fat people find "whatever" with non-fat people here sometimes, too. So, in terms of numbers, it evens out. Fat people are not the only "targets" here. We are not passively waiting around like merchandise to be consumed by active consumer thin people. In fact, we come here looking for all kinds of experiences, ourselves, and we find it across the demographics at Dims--whether thin, fat or in-between.



OK, I think I understand what you're accusing me of, but I'm not entirely certain. I wasn't talking about sex, if that is what you mean. I was talking about the fact that most of the discussion here is BBW and/or Male FA based, even the non sexual things. A lot of the non-sexual discussions are still often about relationships, or issues of that nature. I obviously am speaking in terms of the Main Board, the Weight Board, etc. I realize Hyde Park and the Lounge are for general discussion. But I honestly think that most Dimmers who participate in Hyde Park and the Lounge do so after being here a while or because they are extremely interested in politics, so I don't think those forums alone would be reason enough for someone to stay here after a brief first look at the site. 

I guess it just seemed that if you were a gay man and you saw a lot of topics about the BBW experience, or the heterosexual male FA experience,(or even just those terms in the titles of the threads over and over) it might not seem that interesting to you. Or that it would pertain to you much. But a woman who would date a BBW might find the input of other BBW more helpful and insightful, because her romantic partner is a woman. Also, many of the female topics would pertain to women of all sizes/orientation. Topics on the Health Board, for example or the Clothing/Fashion board. Then, if a gay man headed over to the BHM board and sees that there aren't that many people there AT ALL and there aren't a lot of discussions there and most of the people are heterosexual, he might feel that this is not a place that would meet his needs for camaraderie, or shared experience, in general. That is why I always assumed there weren't more gay men here. 


But I could be wrong. I am after all, an FA.


----------



## Fascinita (Oct 4, 2008)

I'm not accusing you of anything, Dr. P. I was responding to your statement as I understood it. It seemed to posit fat women and men in receptive positions and, by exclusion, non-fat women and men as their more active counterparts, as if anyone who would come here might come here only for the BBWs and BHM (therefore, fewer gay men would come, as there are fewer BHM.) Only problem with that, as I saw it, was that it did not acknowledge the many fatties that come here looking for non-fatties. And I don't just mean that in terms of sex. Friendship counts there, too. Or good old discussion and debate. But none of this is an accusation. It's more like a reading, and I acknowledged that it seemed you had not meant any harm. 

It's true that a lot of the discussion here tends to center around fat people and fat women in particular. But I'm not sure that, in the context of mergirl's original question, this acknowledgement makes for a cure so much as a diagnosis. There's no reason that we can't talk to and make room for gay/bi/pansexual fatties and fatty lovers--unless we ARE prepared to say that all Dimensions is, is about sex (viz. self-segregation according to sexual preference.)


----------



## Dr. P Marshall (Oct 4, 2008)

Fascinita said:


> There's no reason that we can't talk to and make room for gay/bi/pansexual fatties and fatty lovers--unless we ARE prepared to say that all Dimensions is, is about sex (viz. self-segregation according to sexual preference.)



True. Except that we can't make room for anyone who doesn't come here and stay here in the first place. If there are only a handful of gay men here at Dims (which is what it appears people in this thread are saying) then I doubt that Conrad would start a board in the hopes that more would show up because there is a board here. As I understand it, the various sub forums are established once a need is perceived to exist among the members of the board. I don't think anyone objects to the idea of a sub forum for gay men, but if there are only a few gay men here and none of them have expressed a desire for a sub forum of their own, then I am guessing that that is the reason such a sub forum does not exist. There is no sub forum for lesbians either, but it seems to me that the lesbian FAs who are here(and who are not BBW themselves) feel at home on all of the boards including the BHM/FFA board. I assumed the same was not true for gay men because the BHM board would seem a more likely place for them to feel they "fit" (whether they are BHM OR FA), but that once there they may not feel that what goes on on the BHM board holds much interest for them. And since there are several large sites devoted entirely to the gay BHM/FA experience, it would seem that very few would find Dimensions a place that they would want to stay. I'm not saying it should be that way, but I think most people only look at a website briefly or in a cursory way before deciding to join and it is only once they join that they learn all that the site has to offer. So my point was that for all the reasons discussed above, many gay men who do take a look around might come to the conclusion that there isn't much here to interest them and then they don't delve into the other sub forums. I think that there would be plenty to interest them here, certainly, but I doubt many people of any gender/orientation would immediately wade through the pages and pages of threads before they made the decision to stay or go.

*Oh, and as for the whole thin person/fat person thing, I thought it was pretty obvious that a BBW lesbian would feel at home in a BBW centered site. And that a gay man BHM or FA would gravitate towards the BHM board. That's not because anyone should be in a ghetto or anything else, but let's be honest, when you first get here you will most likely head towards the places that SEEM to pertain to you the most. So the phrase big handsome men would probably be where a gay man would start rather than the section that reads "for big beautiful women and their admirers." I also would think that a BHM gay man who was interested in size acceptance or the more political side might not think of Dimensions as the place to come for those issues. I guess what I mean is it seems that gay men BHM or FA would be less likely to even find Dims/seek it out because there are so many other sites to meet the various interests and needs, whether it's NAAFA or a gay BHM/FA site, or a political site of any sort or what have you.


----------



## Sandie S-R (Oct 5, 2008)

mergirl said:


> But there were no Fa's at Dimensions before it was set up!!
> If yiu want people to move to your city you have to build houses for them to stay in.. lest they get cold tootsies!
> 
> xmer



Actually Mer, yes there were. You may be unaware of Dimensions history, but Dimensions existed in the real world (before being online) as a hard copy magazine and a group of men/women that socialized thru the fat acceptance community and NAAFA. 

So, "Dimensions" has existed since the 1980's, long before the online presence that Conrad eventually created. 

As for creating a space for fat gays, if a large enough group approached Dims and asked for inclusion (a board to post) I'm pretty sure that they wouldn't be turned away. However that has never happened. I can't say why. The fat acceptance community in general has not attracted a lot of gay men, although we have had a fair number of gay women involved in NAAFA and other fat acceptance endeavors.


----------



## mergirl (Oct 6, 2008)

Sandie S-R said:


> Actually Mer, yes there were. You may be unaware of Dimensions history, but Dimensions existed in the real world (before being online) as a hard copy magazine and a group of men/women that socialized thru the fat acceptance community and NAAFA.
> 
> So, "Dimensions" has existed since the 1980's, long before the online presence that Conrad eventually created.
> 
> As for creating a space for fat gays, if a large enough group approached Dims and asked for inclusion (a board to post) I'm pretty sure that they wouldn't be turned away. However that has never happened. I can't say why. The fat acceptance community in general has not attracted a lot of gay men, although we have had a fair number of gay women involved in NAAFA and other fat acceptance endeavors.


ahh.. i knew about Dimensions the mag (when is Dims the movie comming out btw??) i just ment that as a web space you would have to have somewhere for people to go before they actually did go.. like you wouldnt get s n m enthusiasts joining a knitting website on the off chance someone would poke them with a needle. crap anology i know.. but well this is more interactive. Naafa, while although a place Fa's could have met would be, i imagine more geared towards the political. Well i kinna hope so, as i like my human rights groups to be more about political action! lol 
Still i think, were a forum to be made gay guys would come. Though i'm still not sure that its even a good idea or anything, i was just wondering why there wasnt any in the first place or why they wernt catered for ..erm chicken and egg stuff really! xx


----------



## mergirl (Oct 6, 2008)

Oh.. and Dr P.. i knew what you ment.. i have to hurry off though as my friend is staying or i would have went on a big rant as usual..
i can also see where fascinata is comming from..
indeed.. xx diplomer


----------



## pmdogg (Oct 7, 2008)

Just smimmiNg here, one thin I have to say is that this is a size acceptance sight. I've known a lot of gay guys who were looking for help with their whole deal. They are pushing for equality, we are just trying to find a good seat. There is one only differeance between us, fat people created this sight. It's the same stuff though


----------



## butch (Oct 10, 2008)

The main gay fattie site I go to, bellybuilders, is open to anyone who appreciates the fat male figure, regardless of gender or sexuality. So, like Dims, it is a place that primarily attracts gay men, but is open to others, and while I mostly lurk there, I have seen straight men and women post there. I mention this because it is important not to paint those sites as being more exclusionary than Dims or another non-gay fat positive site. I guess for those of us who have always existed in the minority when it comes to sexuality and gender, it seems odd when others feel like things can get too diluted when more attention is paid to the minority group in a particular majority space. 

If you feel like GLBTQ topics are crowding in on the main stuff that goes on here, then you know how glbtq people feel a lot of the time in their day to day life.


----------



## moore2me (Oct 12, 2008)

mergirl said:


> Is this a question of not wanting to mess around with a formula or offend certain people or is it just that there has been no call for a gay male forum here *because there quite simply have been no gay men?*
> 
> xmer



How do you know there are only one or two (from previous posts on this thread) gay men? Perhaps some are lurking. Perhaps some are not out of the closet.


----------



## mergirl (Oct 14, 2008)

yup.. my first post was "are there any gay men here?" and i think one gay guy chatted..So then i questioned why there are no gay men here.. well hardly any..I hope they all come out of lurking and join in on the lgbtq thread..


----------



## BothGunsBlazing (Oct 14, 2008)

butch said:


> The main gay fattie site I go to, bellybuilders, is open to anyone who appreciates the fat male figure, regardless of gender or sexuality. So, like Dims, it is a place that primarily attracts gay men, but is open to others, and while I mostly lurk there, I have seen straight men and women post there. I mention this because it is important not to paint those sites as being more exclusionary than Dims or another non-gay fat positive site. I guess for those of us who have always existed in the minority when it comes to sexuality and gender, it seems odd when others feel like things can get too diluted when more attention is paid to the minority group in a particular majority space.
> 
> If you feel like GLBTQ topics are crowding in on the main stuff that goes on here, then you know how glbtq people feel a lot of the time in their day to day life.



I don't really think GLBTQ topics are crowding in on the main stuff because I wasn't very sure what the main stuff was. I just assumed it kind of included everyone. Regardless of sexual orientation, size acceptance is for everyone and should be treated as such. So, yeah, I'm in full support of these GLBTQ threads/topics and will contribute as much as I can. 

Oh and I apologize for my comment eluding to those sites being more exclusionary. I've only had a few experiences and it was, well, rather volatile, but I know as an FA, I shouldn't let a few idiots shape the big picture for me, so thank you for shedding some light.

Which is exactly why I'm missed you around here .. you've got a knack for doing that.


----------



## Jack Skellington (Oct 15, 2008)

missaf said:


> As a faghag and proud of it,



Faghag? Isn't that considered offensive?


----------



## butch (Oct 15, 2008)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> I don't really think GLBTQ topics are crowding in on the main stuff because I wasn't very sure what the main stuff was. I just assumed it kind of included everyone. Regardless of sexual orientation, size acceptance is for everyone and should be treated as such. So, yeah, I'm in full support of these GLBTQ threads/topics and will contribute as much as I can.
> 
> Oh and I apologize for my comment eluding to those sites being more exclusionary. I've only had a few experiences and it was, well, rather volatile, but I know as an FA, I shouldn't let a few idiots shape the big picture for me, so thank you for shedding some light.
> 
> Which is exactly why I'm missed you around here .. you've got a knack for doing that.



I've missed you too, BGB. Always a pleasure to chat with you here on the boards. 

I do agree that size acceptance is for everyone, and there are some spaces where we should all come together, no matter our sexualities, in order to support it.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Oct 16, 2008)

mergirl said:


> yup.. my first post was "are there any gay men here?" and i think one gay guy chatted..So then i questioned why there are no gay men here.. well hardly any..I hope they all come out of lurking and join in on the lgbtq thread..



I think they're all gone. I think there is a significant expression of homophobia on the part of some BHMs here who take issue with being hit up via PM or praised on the board by gay men. In years past I recall a few men saying they no longer post their pictures for fear or being solicited by gay men or some BHM will post a hostile rant about the gay men who lurk here and hit on them. There's one openly gay man who braves it out and stays but even he has complained of an aire of homophobia and marginalization from time to time. So in short I believe it is because there are no gay fat men here and most gay FAs and gay BHMs would prefer to participate in an environment that's much healtheir for their interests.


----------



## Jack Skellington (Oct 16, 2008)

missaf said:


> I don't consider it so, having been named that by some of my gays  At first, I was struck at the term, but the more they called me their hag, the more I realized it was true and fitting



Odd, the gay guys I've talked to over the years generally cringed at the term. They found it both insulting to gay men and degrading to women. But then they were fellow nerds and toy collectors so maybe the term is more acceptable among the club kids or something.


----------



## Totmacher (Oct 20, 2008)

I think that


mergirl said:


> yup.. my first post was "are there any gay men here?" and i think one gay guy chatted..So then i questioned why there are no gay men here.. well hardly any..I hope they all come out of lurking and join in on the lgbtq thread..



should really talk to


missaf said:


> As a faghag and proud of it, I can tell you there are gay men here, and I find most of them instinctively when they first arrive
> 
> You know who you are!



maybe then the hidden homosexual male side of Dimensions will reveal itself.

I am curious why we need more gay men _here_? I don't believe it wouldn't cost too much time and resources to set up a gay forum and see if anybody shows up, but wouldn't it be easier to just sign up at one of the umpteen-dozen gay sites out there? While it would be nice to have a one-stop-shopping site where you get all your fat-related sociallization in one place, it seems to me it would be more difficult than just rounding up and dumping a few hundred more people in here.


----------



## mergirl (Oct 20, 2008)

Totmacher said:


> I think that
> 
> 
> should really talk to
> ...


yeah, i wast really saying we round up the gays but was wondering why there wasnt a gay area. Sure there are plenty of "bear n chaser" sites but no real size acceptence sites on the gay "scene" which was why i thought more gay guys would come here to chat. Anyhow, we now have a "post" for gays which is sticky and hidden away in the fat sexuality section of the weight board. So of you see any gay guys on the main board or in the BHM board send them on over cause at the mo its mainly gay and bi girls.

xmer


----------



## Fatfanplus (Oct 23, 2008)

Gay man here.
Like I stated in an earlier post, I like Dims because it's so much more positive in atmosphere than some other sites I used to frequent that have a gay fa slant.
Those sites tended to be more bitchy and venemous.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Oct 24, 2008)

Fatfanplus said:


> Gay man here.
> Like I stated in an earlier post, I like Dims because it's so much more positive in atmosphere than some other sites I used to frequent that have a gay fa slant.
> Those sites tended to be more bitchy and venemous.



Boooo! A hot guy and he's gay, just my luck. Welcome Fatfanplus!


----------



## Fatfanplus (Oct 24, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> Boooo! A hot guy and he's gay, just my luck. Welcome Fatfanplus!



heheh, hi, and thanks!
I'd rather hang out with a group of fat women that are friendly and inclusive, than a group of gay fat men that are bitchy.


----------



## superodalisque (Oct 24, 2008)

i wish there were more gay men and women on dims too. i love my gay friends company. one gay man complained at the last bash i was at that he was the ONLY gay man there. i mean he loves talking to us. he isn't just a fat hag. he is a big guy and has his own issues surrounding gay men who target him just for his size. it was really an eye opening experience talking to him about it. it helped me to realize that my feelings weren't crazy. because as he said , even though he is gay he is still a guy. it was great getting his imput and knowing he had no ulterior motives. but thats a selfish reason for having gay men around. i think they just really need to be here because regarding this issue i don't think there is really any difference between us and they need the acceptance too--doubly. there are a lot of bi women on dims. but i only know of a few lesbians here and i love them! they aren't driven by guy drama and thats a nice change. so its as though they can focus more on whats really good for women. they bring a different focus to things too. i'm not even sure if lesbians face as much pressure as the guys these days and i'm not even sure what all of their issues are. it would be great to hear more of their point of view too.

i realized that i had a lot of gay friends in my life but i don't talk about their sexuality in that way much. we just talk about things as people pretty much. whether they are happy. their career. thier relationships. i have never thought about how weight might affect them because it has almost never come up. but i think i should start asking because i can learn some stuff.


----------



## superodalisque (Oct 24, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> Boooo! A hot guy and he's gay, just my luck. Welcome Fatfanplus!



gay men are always the cutest *sigh* come to some events so we can luv on you!


----------



## Victim (Oct 24, 2008)

Theresa has a few gay friends who also happen to be chubby chasers or chub4chub, and they have told her in no uncertain terms that they are hot for me. This doesn't bother me in the least. Heck, when one moved I got some really nice clothes from him.


----------



## superodalisque (Oct 24, 2008)

sorry this is off the subject but i was wondering about something. i find it interesting that some "gay" men actually go after SBBWs sexually. it has happened to me much more than once and i wonder why. when i have asked the person they never really give me a clear answer because maybe they don't want to insult me while they're trying to get into my pants? the whole idea that someone who is very gay might still want me is very confusing. there is nothing remotely masculine about me. maybe its just that the fat is so interesting to them? maybe because there is so much of it and maybe the texture is different?


----------



## stan_der_man (Oct 24, 2008)

I think the reason there are no (actually few...) gay men here is because the Dimensions marketing people need to get on the ball and start targeting areas such as San Francisco, West Hollywood, Palm Springs, Laguna Beach CA, Provincetown, MA... just to name a few.


Just sayin'


----------



## superodalisque (Oct 24, 2008)

fa_man_stan said:


> I think the reason there are no (actually few...) gay men here is because the Dimensions marketing people need to get on the ball and start targeting areas such as San Francisco, West Hollywood, Palm Springs, Laguna Beach CA, Provincetown, MA... just to name a few.
> 
> 
> Just sayin'



don't forget the gay capitol of the south--atlanta!


----------



## Victim (Oct 24, 2008)

Capitol Hill in Seattle is starting to get invaded by straight rich people...


----------



## stan_der_man (Oct 24, 2008)

superodalisque said:


> don't forget the gay capitol of the south--atlanta!





Victim said:


> Capitol Hill in Seattle is starting to get invaded by straight rich people...



I don't know if it's still in print, but there used to be this book called "Go-America" that pointed out the gay friendly cities and places to travel. When my cousin, friend and I made our big "college road trip" we discovered that these areas where there is a large gay population tended to be in historical areas of town, beautifully restored and were fun, friendly places to visit! Key West FL is another place for example. That trip is when I learned that gay people were wonderful interesting folks just like us "straight" people.

I think if gay folks do eventually discover Dimensions and an open, honest and tolerant environment is maintained, it will be for the better of all of us.


----------



## Fatfanplus (Oct 24, 2008)

fa_man_stan said:


> I think the reason there are no (actually few...) gay men here is because the Dimensions marketing people need to get on the ball and start targeting areas such as San Francisco, West Hollywood, Palm Springs, Laguna Beach CA, Provincetown, MA... just to name a few.




Fat-Positive Gay people are not exclusive to those particular areas I'm sure you already know....we're everywhere, just like Fat-Positive straight people.

I personally just find this site so much more appealing because of the diversity of topics and the overall friendliness of everyone.
Bellybuilders for example was a site I was a frequent poster on for almost a decade, and while I had some great times there and met some cool people I still talk to, and some I'm actually friends with in REAL life still, the amount of vitriol there is just ridiculous. Thats why I left. You can't say anything there without someone taking offense and starting a flame war.
Dimensions is so nice and cozy.....mmmmm.......


----------



## stan_der_man (Oct 24, 2008)

Fatfanplus said:


> ...
> the amount of vitriol there is just ridiculous. Thats why I left. You can't say anything there without someone taking offense and starting a flame war.
> Dimensions is so nice and cozy.....mmmmm.......



Unfortunately, I think vitriol environments existing in many online communities are something that plagues many of them... either that or they are lifeless places of infrequent posting... I'm sure you'll agree that it isn't only on the gay websites that this is happing. I think the impersonal nature of the internet tends to bring out the viscousness of human nature at times. As much as I rag on Dims sometimes (I'm just giving out a little "tough love" to ya'll and the powers that be...  ) Dimensions is a rare place where a true, lively and interesting community has formed.



Fatfanplus said:


> ...
> Fat-Positive Gay people are not exclusive to those particular areas I'm sure you already know....we're everywhere, just like Fat-Positive straight people.
> ...



I probably should have followed my statement about "the Dimensions marketing people" and targeting markets with a winky face... Just a little sarcasm...


----------



## mergirl (Oct 24, 2008)

Fatfanplus said:


> Gay man here.
> Like I stated in an earlier post, I like Dims because it's so much more positive in atmosphere than some other sites I used to frequent that have a gay fa slant.
> Those sites tended to be more bitchy and venemous.


yay! There will be a fight over who gets to be your non pc "fag hag"!! lmao.. There is now an erm..(i forget all the letters) lgbtq? thread in the sexuality weight board bit..its mainly bi lassies who post but i'm going to try to get my real life bear n chaser friends to come post.. come say helleee if you wish sir! 

xxmer


----------



## stan_der_man (Oct 24, 2008)

mergirl said:


> yay! There will be a fight over who gets to be your non pc "fag hag"!! lmao.. There is now an erm..(i forget all the letters) lgbtq? thread in the sexuality weight board bit..its mainly bi lassies who post but i'm going to try to get my real life bear n chaser friends to come post.. come say helleee if you wish sir!
> 
> xxmer



Here's the link to the thread Mergirl mentioned:

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=48218&highlight=lesbian


----------



## Oaksearcher (Oct 25, 2008)

Well, I agree with many of the points here, I feel that sometimes it is hard to put together particular focuses and see that attraction to the larger figure is something that goes across all sexualities, etc. I am happy to discuss more.


----------

