# Do you get a lot of chicks?



## skizz (Dec 29, 2010)

I'm getting really fat and was wondering if the BHMs on this board get a lot of chicks. Pleae regale me with some stories.


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## Lil BigginZ (Dec 29, 2010)

i'm really fat and i don't get girls lol


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## Paquito (Dec 29, 2010)

I'm on the smaller side of BHM and I get hit on. But only on los internets.


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## Sasquatch! (Dec 29, 2010)

I get all the girls.


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## FishCharming (Dec 29, 2010)

Sasquatch! said:


> I get all the girls.



and fishes... :wubu:


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## CastingPearls (Dec 29, 2010)

Sasquatch! said:


> I get all the girls.


It's your milkshake, Hot Stuff.


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## nic_nic07 (Dec 29, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> It's your milkshake, Hot Stuff.



He brings all the girls to the yard.


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Dec 30, 2010)

I always get hit on by the Older Ladies IRL. 

I don't mind it.


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## WillSpark (Dec 30, 2010)

There was one point in my senior year while I was the lead in the school musical where I actually had a few girls interested within a short time period. It was weird. 

But otherwise, the only "attraction" I've actually noticed from anyone came from here. 

Hoping for another shot now that I'm really ready for a relationship should the opportunity arise.


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## CarlaSixx (Dec 30, 2010)

All I seem to get is chicks 

Oops... I'm not a male. Sahrry


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## Lil BigginZ (Dec 30, 2010)

CarlaSixx said:


> All I seem to get is chicks
> 
> Oops... I'm not a male. Sahrry



lucky you!!


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## CarlaSixx (Dec 30, 2010)

Lil BigginZ said:


> lucky you!!



If I was a dude, yeah, I'd say I was lucky.

Otherwise... I'm on the fence, haha.


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## ManBeef (Dec 30, 2010)

I've only been with 11 people... && dated a few others... I do aight. Just need to fine tune the pimp juice LOL


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## Bearsy (Dec 30, 2010)

I flirt/get flirted with often, but it rarely goes anywhere beyond platonic fun. When I try to make the jump I get shot down as being "just a friend".


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## MasterShake (Dec 30, 2010)

Bearsy said:


> I flirt/get flirted with often, but it rarely goes anywhere beyond platonic fun. When I try to make the jump I get shot down as being "just a friend".



Respond with this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0DXK6BQe2U


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## FishCharming (Dec 30, 2010)

Bwaaahaaahaaahaahahahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!!


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## FishCharming (Dec 30, 2010)

uhh, as to the op's questions. i get hit on a lot by trashy women. and while i do like my women a little on the trashy side i'm also working on this whole "no sleeping with skanks" thing that zoe put me on to. so, you know, whatever and junk.


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## MasterShake (Dec 30, 2010)




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## Geodetic_Effect (Dec 31, 2010)

I decided to get into dating just a couple days ago. So far I have been shot down 5 times and had 1 victory. I'm happy with that success rate, especially since I'm picky.


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## vinarian (Dec 31, 2010)

I have always been a big guy, but even though I like to pretend I'm a lost perveted stalker, I've never been able to stay single. I have been to places where people look down on me for being fat, but the majority accepts me. I don't attribute my being with someone to this board as I havn't been a member long, I don't think of this as a dating board, and more of a 'life' board


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## charlieversion2 (Dec 31, 2010)

MasterShake said:


>



And in his last breath those were his dying words...


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## skizz (Dec 31, 2010)

Geodetic_Effect said:


> I decided to get into dating just a couple days ago. So far I have been shot down 5 times and had 1 victory. I'm happy with that success rate, especially since I'm picky.



I would say you are 400% better than the average guy at dating. That makes you a major effin' stud, Maaaaan!


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## Dockta_Dockta (Dec 31, 2010)

I get tons of girls...

If there's a Kevin James romance movie out.


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## GentleSavage (Jan 4, 2011)

No girl has ever really showed an interest in me before. Or if they had I probably disregarded it as them either being nice or making fun of me.


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## yorrick brown (Jan 4, 2011)

Uhhhhh, hell yes I do.


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## JonesT (Jan 4, 2011)

Kinda sorta but not many ppl like shy guys


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## deanbpm (Jan 4, 2011)

I wouldn't say I get a lot but I do get hit on yeah.


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## Buffetbelly (Jan 4, 2011)

Only got one girl, but that's happens to be exactly the number of women I was looking for!


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## Knish (Jan 5, 2011)

have been single for a few years now, but shyness seem to get the better of me. Which is crazy cause i have a bunch of girl friends that are great, but never tried to move it to dating. I guess it's hard to pick up girls when Im hanging out with a bunch when I go out. but the last 5 girls i've tried to be with i've only gotten with 2 of them so semi good... i guess. I'm no gigolo like a few of my skinny male friends tho...


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## JulieD (Jan 5, 2011)

Soooo....
I am not a BHM nor a lesbian, but I have totally been hit on by chicks. It happens more then one would think...:blush: 

Sorry ladies...strickly dickly


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## samuraiscott (Jan 6, 2011)

Nope. Not a lot of girls.


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## 1300 Class (Jan 8, 2011)

> Kinda sorta but not many ppl like shy guys


+1 to that sentiment.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Jan 8, 2011)

lol i never get chicks.lol i have had some bites before but we all know how that goes.lol


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## HeavyDuty24 (Jan 8, 2011)

JonesT said:


> Kinda sorta but not many ppl like shy guys




man so agreed,repped my freind.im not as shy as i used to be but i still am.im just kinda conservative but im an open book to just got to get there with the right situations.lol


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## Amaranthine (Jan 8, 2011)

Well, I love shyer guys. I never knew I was the minority.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Jan 8, 2011)

Amaranthine said:


> Well, I love shyer guys. I never knew I was the minority.



well you are sadly.


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## Bearsy (Jan 8, 2011)

Amaranthine said:


> Well, I love shyer guys. I never knew I was the minority.



I've never known someone who likes shy guys; every woman I know seems to go for the in-your-face kind of men.

It's good to know the rest of us have at least one supporter, haha.


Unless you mean this kind of Shy Guy.




In which case I guess I'll just have to get sewing.


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## Cuddle-Bunny (Jan 9, 2011)

Boys, boys, boys!!! You all sound so depressed! I have known a couple of nice BHM's and been very interested in them. I thought that I was making my interest obvious to them by doing a little flirting, but it didn't make a dent. A couple of years later when they are already with someone, I'd say "but didn't you notice that I was interested in you?" they say no and that if they had known they would have asked me out. I am terminally shy when it comes to the opposite sex.

Perhaps if men and women didn't misunderstand each other so often...
Still looking for my own BHM in my neck of the woods.

Chin up boys. There are girls out there who would love to date you, but spotting them is the problem, especially if they are shy.


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## MaybeX (Jan 11, 2011)

^^This is why FFAs should wear T-shirts identifying themselves. Because BHM tend to be dense. Yes, pun intended. 

But seriously... we do tend to miss anything but the most blatant invitations, and even then might think it's a gag.


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## MasterShake (Jan 11, 2011)

Dockta_Dockta said:


> I get tons of girls...
> 
> If there's a Kevin James romance movie out.



:bow:

He and Dan Goodman do seem to be our most well known examples. They're also good examples, as both are/were great at looking comfortable with their bodies (can't recall but I think Goodman lost a lot of weight).

I think if we showed more confidence in ourselves, the local FFAs would be more vocal about their attractions. Working theory anyways.


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## CastingPearls (Jan 11, 2011)

It's not the quantity but the quality.


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## Zowie (Jan 11, 2011)

I think what a lot of guys tend to assume is, "I'm fat, all FFAs must adore me". And sure, I'll willing to put money that there are a few women out there who take fat as the most important characteristic in their mates, but the grand majority of us are just women. We can live without finding our partner irresistibily attractive, because it's really not all that important. If I see a guy walking down the street, there are a bunch of other things I'd notice before body mass. I'd be much more interested in going to talk to him before I ask to pull his shirt off. 
Also, I think it works the same way with women who aren't FFAs. A load of the guys here use the "I'm fat, therefore no one will like me except for creepy cannabalistic FFAs". It's a confidence issue, and it's definitely not going to get resolved by losing weight. I really dislike that it's often pinned on body image that's why people don't like you or judge you. It's probably something else. 
So long story short. Forget your quest for FFAs. Sure if you find one, great, but fact remains, we're all women, and we all basically the same. All you really want is to find a partner who'll be accepting and love you the way you are, and not to fall for any shortcuts.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Jan 11, 2011)

This is the place!


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## MasterShake (Jan 11, 2011)

Zowie said:


> I think what a lot of guys tend to assume is, "I'm fat, all FFAs must adore me". And sure, I'll willing to put money that there are a few women out there who take fat as the most important characteristic in their mates, but the grand majority of us are just women. We can live without finding our partner irresistibily attractive, because it's really not all that important. If I see a guy walking down the street, there are a bunch of other things I'd notice before body mass. I'd be much more interested in going to talk to him before I ask to pull his shirt off.
> Also, I think it works the same way with women who aren't FFAs. A load of the guys here use the "I'm fat, therefore no one will like me except for creepy cannabalistic FFAs". It's a confidence issue, and it's definitely not going to get resolved by losing weight. I really dislike that it's often pinned on body image that's why people don't like you or judge you. It's probably something else.
> So long story short. Forget your quest for FFAs. Sure if you find one, great, but fact remains, we're all women, and we all basically the same. All you really want is to find a partner who'll be accepting and love you the way you are, and not to fall for any shortcuts.



I agree with your basic point, that it's easy to use things as crutches or think some magical solution exists, but I'd disagree that most women look past attraction (sorry if I'm misquoting you, but that was the sense I got from your words).

I think the real issue is that of feeling undesirable. It may bias me a bit, but I remember something from college that still breaks my heart to this day. There's a group of five of us - Me and my roomie (Jeff), his girlfriend Tracy and her two roommates (Steph and Jen). Jeff and I go to their place on a Saturday night to hang out, but of course Jeff and Tracy quickly go off to her bedroom. This is like the first week or so of the relationship, and while they're in there Steph and I hang out and watch SNL.

Unbeknownst to us, Jen A) has a crush on Jeff, and B) wasn't aware of the relationship. So it went from her thinking we were all hanging out to her being kind of a third-wheel to Steph and I while Jeff and Tracy were in the bedroom. What proceeded was basically an emotional breakdown by Jen in which she asked why no one loved her and lamenting that no one ever would.

Now, Jen was overweight, and for her this was the big obstacle to her finding a relationship. Nothing Steph or I could say seemed to matter, in hindsight I think because neither of us were willing to admit that, frankly, yes, most men have physical criteria such as being thin or at least 'average' and as a result would never give her the time of day.

My poorly argued point is that it impressed on me the power of what it means to feel ugly, to see people being attracted to the men/women around you but not give you the time of day. Loneliness, feeling undesirable/unwanted (and I mean this in general, not just sexually), is a very devastating thing to feel, and I don't think it's surprising for someone like a BHM (or a BBW, or whatever) to become desperately yearning when they discover that there are indeed women/men out there who actually find this great source of misery to be desirable (let alone tolerable).

Sadly we do live in a society that values appearances, which motivates a lot of people to place a lot of importance on the surface details of who they'll accept as relationship-worthy. This is not meant to excuse the aforementioned use of FFAs as a crutch or whatever, but I think reality for a lot of people, including BHMs, pushes people towards turning to them, hoping it'll finally work where everything else has failed.

My .02 cents, anyways.


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Jan 11, 2011)

I get tons of chicks. I didn't realize it before, but I do. Hiw doni say that without being cocky? I think the fact that I don't take advantage of that situation speaks for itself. I attribute it to a certain number of thing. 

I'm not an asshole. 
I listen. 
I don't go on and on about how nobody loves me because I'm fat. 
I'm always asking people to dinner, to meet new people. 
And I make the best of every day, and try to keep a positive attitude. 
Attitude is everything. 

Now on a more serious note, I don't get ALL the chicks, but I do have good luck. 

And even if you have "low self esteem" pretend the shit out of it, like your the smoothest man in the room. 

And be really good at PUA  (that was a joke. )


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## HDANGEL15 (Jan 11, 2011)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> I get tons of chicks. I didn't realize it before, but I do. Hiw doni say that without being cocky? I think the fact that I don't take advantage of that situation speaks for itself. I attribute it to a certain number of thing.
> 
> I'm not an asshole.
> I listen.
> ...



*no rep to give out...but you said it as it's best said...ATTITUDE!!! be kind, listen, have some EGO/self esteem...and be HAPPY and exude it!!!*


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## MasterShake (Jan 11, 2011)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> And even if you have "low self esteem" pretend the shit out of it, like your the smoothest man in the room.
> 
> And be really good at PUA  (that was a joke. )


What Hozay said. I think attitude is key, and I know being here has certainly helped mine. I still have my down days, but recently I think mentally I've felt better than I have in a long time.


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## JulieD (Jan 11, 2011)

I think its kinda funny how most every one is stating that your own person attitude and self esteem that you have for your self, is what attracts others toward you. I agree with this wholeheartedly. Yet, the attitude that you have towards others and the acceptance that you give them has not really been mentioned. I understand the Dims is about size acceptance, I just find it funny that its mostly about others accepting YOUR size. Let me try to explain where I am coming from...

I am a FFA out of preference. I find bigger men sexier then smaller men, but I do not allow this to limit who I talk to or get to know. Just because you may be average sized, or even a smaller guy, doesnt mean that I wouldnt give you the time of day, because honestly... I just simply love men. With that being said, I have found it funny that most, not all, but most BHMs are not FAs. I understand that it is a preference, but are you not doing the same thing that you don't want to happen to you? Another thing that I have noticed is that for some reason, posters do not feel comfortable posting if they are trying to lose weight, simply because of the load of crap that they get from FFAs or other BHMs... 

Again, I understand that the point of Dims is for size (fat) acceptance...what I am saying is that maybe it would be nice to see an over all acceptance, I mean...this isnt a dating site... its just a forum where you should be able to express your views and opinions about everything that has to do with the bigger size...gaining and losing. I also understand that there are other forums , like the health forum, where you can talk about getting healthy, or the weight gaining for any gainers.... but lets be real...the other forums are primarily aimed towards BBWs or SSBBWs...I have heard sooo many BHMs and FFAs say this...

I guess my point is that once you have accepted your self, try to accept others the same way. After all, its what most of us expect in return, and you never know what might come out of it. 

And for my more active, health wise BHMs...maybe one of you should start a BHM thread in the health forum...or PM me and I will start it for you, the last thing I would ever want to do is to discourage anyone from trying to better their self. It would be nice for you all to have a place where you can go and support each other without negative expressions from anyone else...it would not surprise me if more of you come out of hiding...im just saying :happy:


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## MasterShake (Jan 11, 2011)

You raise some valid points, but IMO a) the heart wants what it wants, and b) everyone has their hypocrisies/contradictions/whatevers. I mean, I know women who want to be seen as being strong and independent yet also want to be taken care of (financially), a good friend is a bisexual who only likes fat on other women, not men, a lot of people who are slavishly Republican/conservative yet demand to be seen as radically independent, etc. I used to be friends with a guy who'd buy anything for his interests/hobbies on a whim yet would yell at his wife for simply buying household goods, let alone stuff she liked, and I could never semeingly get him to understand why that bothered me.

I get your criticism, I honestly do, but at the same time it cuts really close to home because I once had a "friend" not only tell me to not even think about pursuing her friend, but that as a fat guy I had no real right to even think I was good enough for someone thin and fit. Instead I was told I - a liberal atheist - was a better match for her other friend, an evangelical conservative who just happened to be fat.

I know that's not what you're stating or even implying, but it feels awful close to that mentality of "fat people should stick to their own kind, and not even dare to think they deserve someone not fat". Only saying that in case my response comes off as being too attackful - not meaning to attack you, I just have reservations about the logic of your criticism. Maybe I'm just overreacting because it feels awful close to a real sensitive sore spot for me, and if I'm totally misrepresenting you, I apologize.

BTW, at least here, in the case of BHMs here lamenting the lack of FFAs, I don't think it's so much they want all women to change their preferences, they just wish there were more "natural" FFAs around. Most of the BHMs here just seem to lament not knowing any FFAs in person. I've never gotten the sense that they're out to force only one-way acceptance, or that they refuse to socialize/be friendly with BBWs.

But, I'm not much of a regular, so maybe I just miss these things? I've certainly never meant to imply such thoughts myself, and apologize if I've ever come off that way.


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## KnottyOne (Jan 11, 2011)

All about confidence, doesn't matter how big ya are, how pretty ya are, what you do or how much money ya make. You have a personality that draws people in, you will get girls. So going off that... yes, yes I do. Just be fun and interesting and anyone can get just about anyone they want


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## cakeboy (Jan 11, 2011)

The first thing I do when I meet a comely young lass is take my shirt off and perform a complex mating dance I choreographed. It's based on the Foxtrot and finishes with some jazz hands, followed by some very sexy leg humping. Twenty percent of the time it works 100% of the time. I'm running a seminar next month! So, to break it all down, I pull mad chicks yo.


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## CastingPearls (Jan 11, 2011)

cakeboy said:


> The first thing I do when I meet a comely young lass is take my shirt off and perform a complex mating dance I choreographed. It's based on the Foxtrot and finishes with some jazz hands, followed by some very sexy leg humping. Twenty percent of the time it works 100% of the time. I'm running a seminar next month! So, to break it all down, I pull mad chicks yo.


After I got up from laughing so hard, yeah...I could see that happening. It's all about style. LOL


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## cakeboy (Jan 11, 2011)

I can't help it. I'm a sass machine!


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## JulieD (Jan 12, 2011)

MasterShake said:


> You raise some valid points, but IMO a) the heart wants what it wants, and b) everyone has their hypocrisies/contradictions/whatevers. I mean, I know women who want to be seen as being strong and independent yet also want to be taken care of (financially), a good friend is a bisexual who only likes fat on other women, not men, a lot of people who are slavishly Republican/conservative yet demand to be seen as radically independent, etc. I used to be friends with a guy who'd buy anything for his interests/hobbies on a whim yet would yell at his wife for simply buying household goods, let alone stuff she liked, and I could never semeingly get him to understand why that bothered me.
> 
> I get your criticism, I honestly do, but at the same time it cuts really close to home because I once had a "friend" not only tell me to not even think about pursuing her friend, but that as a fat guy I had no real right to even think I was good enough for someone thin and fit. Instead I was told I - a liberal atheist - was a better match for her other friend, an evangelical conservative who just happened to be fat.
> 
> ...



Yeah, I guess I didnt really say anything directed towards anyone person imperticular, but if you took it as critisim...well then the shoe must fit. And just for the record, I have a lot that I would like to say about almost everything you said...from females wanting to be taken care of financially (that a bunch of cockamamie bullshit) all the way to the comment where fat people should stick to fat people shenanigans that you are unduly implying I hinted around at (if you only seen some of the men I have dated)... but by doing this I would be...how did you put it Shake? Oh, I remember...

From In this thread the FFAs put clothes on MasterShake


MasterShake said:


> * (I'm really not trying to be an a-hole, but I feel like there's far too much thread-jacking, derailment, etc. of other people's threads that goes on here in the BHM forum. I just find it rude and immature, sorry.)



With that being said....


cakeboy said:


> The first thing I do when I meet a comely young lass is take my shirt off and perform a complex mating dance I choreographed. It's based on the Foxtrot and finishes with some jazz hands, followed by some very sexy leg humping. Twenty percent of the time it works 100% of the time. I'm running a seminar next month! So, to break it all down, I pull mad chicks yo.



If every man did this, they would pull mad chicks too, Yo! I would actually like to see this in action... so HAWT!


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## cakeboy (Jan 12, 2011)

I can demonstrate my romantic gyrations but I warn you : panties have been known to burst into FLAMES! Flames I tell you! I totally just gave myself a boner right now. *flails*


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## JulieD (Jan 12, 2011)

cakeboy said:


> I can demonstrate my romantic gyrations but I warn you : panties have been known to burst into FLAMES! Flames I tell you! I totally just gave myself a boner right now. *flails*



damn.. i so wish i could rep your boner... but i must pass it around first... boo!


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## cakeboy (Jan 12, 2011)

Please return my boner when you are finished with it! Wait...I have a sinking feeling something is wrong with that first sentence.


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## CastingPearls (Jan 12, 2011)

No...no...run with it...LOL


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## cakeboy (Jan 12, 2011)

That sounds like a date I went on once!


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## Sasquatch! (Jan 12, 2011)

Zomg Julie I <3 you.


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## Bearsy (Jan 12, 2011)




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## BLUEeyedBanshee (Jan 12, 2011)

cakeboy said:


> The first thing I do when I meet a comely young lass is take my shirt off and perform a complex mating dance I choreographed. It's based on the Foxtrot and finishes with some jazz hands, followed by some very sexy leg humping. Twenty percent of the time it works 100% of the time. I'm running a seminar next month! So, to break it all down, I pull mad chicks yo.



So, besides the seminar, do you also offer an instructional video? I think an instructional video would be a very lucrative investment.


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## MasterShake (Jan 12, 2011)

JulieD said:


> And just for the record, I have a lot that I would like to say about almost everything you said...


Feel free to PM me if you want!


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## Tyrael (Jan 12, 2011)

None so no


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## Melian (Jan 12, 2011)

cakeboy said:


> The first thing I do when I meet a comely young lass is take my shirt off and perform a complex mating dance I choreographed. It's based on the Foxtrot and finishes with some jazz hands, followed by some very sexy leg humping. Twenty percent of the time it works 100% of the time. I'm running a seminar next month! So, to break it all down, I pull mad chicks yo.



Ha..."comely." 

That is all.


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## Tad (Jan 12, 2011)

Personally.....



Buffetbelly said:


> Only got one girl, but that's happens to be exactly the number of women I was looking for!



This ^^^


CastingPearls said:


> It's not the quantity but the quality.




And that ^^^

I _suspect _being out of the ordinary in most ways, not just size, affects quantity more than quality. Except for Cake's dance, 'cause while it may be unusual I totally believe it is the dance equivalent of Barry White's voice


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## FishCharming (Jan 12, 2011)

so cake, do you do private gigs? like, could i rent you for an hour to walk around the mall and dance at random hotties?


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## JulieD (Jan 12, 2011)

cakeboy said:


> Please return my boner when you are finished with it! Wait...I have a sinking feeling something is wrong with that first sentence.


I do not consider my self as a selfish person....but I REALLY dont want to  



Sasquatch! said:


> Zomg Julie I <3 you.


:wubu: :wubu: :wubu: :wubu: :wubu: :wubu:



MasterShake said:


> Feel free to PM me if you want!


no...



FishCharming said:


> so cake, do you do private gigs? like, could i rent you for an hour to walk around the mall and dance at random hotties?


come on...you know that hotties want their Cake, and to eat 'em too... you need to do your own dance...put some charm in it Fish, maybe you will dance your way to being ate also...:eat2: Cannibalism for life!


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## Uriel (Jan 12, 2011)

In short, Yes.

Sure, I'm a bartender. There is a myth that bartenders get laid like crazy... Although the reality is a bit different. We get flirted with like crazy ( and we flirt back just as much... Like our sisters in Tippage, Strippers). However, the reality is that few women, even ones immediately smitten with you want to ( or are able) wait around until 3-4am, when you get off of work.
Now that that Myth is dispelled a bit...

Until recently, I was juggling 2 girls. Seeing one, then the other, casually. Both knew of the other, both knew that I didn't want anything serious ( my brain has been in a bit of a disconnect following my Mother's illness and sudden death). One girl really wanted to be my GF, but that didn't feel right, not now at least. So, she has started dating another guy who has been chasing her for a bit. Hopefully, she will be happy. The other girl, I am seeing more regularly now, but it is still semi-casual.
She doesn't even mind if I hook up with girls that I meet at work, and there are a few very flirty ones. Again, however, my brain just isn't into that right now. A year ago, I was slutting it up like crazy. 

Some of the girls like me regardless of me' being fat. Some like me because they are into fat guys.
Some don't seem to notice, being more into my evidently Charismatic personality.I smile, I'm sincere, forthright with what they can expect ( I love doing all of the 'Couple' things, movies, sushi dates, museums, I just prefer being a 'Me' to an 'Us' right now.

I don't think so much about being a fat guy so much as just being myself. I've ranged from a muscular 212 or so at 26 to my current 270 or thereabouts ( I'm 5'9), and ( like all people) a lot of potential partners are going to instantly say 'Nope' when they see me: that's reality for all humans. Some people just aren't into a certain body type, or age, or ethnicity or style. 
I do just fine once the conversation starts, however.

-Uriel


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## cakeboy (Jan 12, 2011)

I can't do a video because the camera adds 20 pounds 
I went to the dentist today, which is enough to put the whammy on any man's boner but I still managed to dry hump the two chicks at the frozen yogurt place in the mall! My boner has NO shame. Woo woo!


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## HeavyDuty24 (Jan 12, 2011)

Bearsy said:


>




i think this happens to everyone at some point,just some more then others.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Jan 12, 2011)

Cuddle-Bunny said:


> Boys, boys, boys!!! You all sound so depressed! I have known a couple of nice BHM's and been very interested in them. I thought that I was making my interest obvious to them by doing a little flirting, but it didn't make a dent. A couple of years later when they are already with someone, I'd say "but didn't you notice that I was interested in you?" they say no and that if they had known they would have asked me out. I am terminally shy when it comes to the opposite sex.
> 
> Perhaps if men and women didn't misunderstand each other so often...
> Still looking for my own BHM in my neck of the woods.
> ...




i agree! i seriously think that if more people would go ALITTLE further letting another person know that they are into them,there would be much more couples.sometimes you just can't tell when someone is into you,sure there are sometimes signs,but sometimes your not sure if the person is just being nice or what.i think women can pick up more if a guy is into them then i guy can tell a woman is into them...


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## BLUEeyedBanshee (Jan 12, 2011)

cakeboy said:


> I can't do a video because the camera adds 20 pounds



Don't you know that'll only make you look hawter.


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## scorpioinco (Jan 12, 2011)

If by chicks you mean, bipolar, aspie, psychotics, then yeah.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Jan 12, 2011)

scorpioinco said:


> If by chicks you mean, bipolar, aspie, psychotics, then yeah.



hey man i know what you mean,i too have had ALOT of crazy ones and not by choice believe me,it just seems to happen.:blink:


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## lovelocs (Jan 13, 2011)

HeavyDuty24 said:


> hey man i know what you mean,i too have had ALOT of crazy ones and not by choice believe me,it just seems to happen.:blink:



I don't know if it "just happens." Crazy is fun, at least up to a point. Generally, people who are "crazy" are less inhibited, more impulsive, and more outlandish in their behaviors. They may be frankly sexual when others are more reserved. They may spend lots of money. They may say outrageous, hilarious things. It's fun, and a turn on, at least when you first meet.
Later, when you are in a relationship, and they are frankly sexual with your friends, and they spend the money which was meant for the mortgage, or they say outrageous, hilarious things which alienate your family or get them fired, not so much. And I'm just talking about crazy people. I'm leaving crazy and evil people alone...

A lot of you guys think that women don't like shy men. Truth is, a lot of us do. We see you and we love you. We just get temporarily sidetracked by Mr. Biff Dickinyourface. Y'all can't say anything, because you get sidetracked by Judy McBooty just as often, or more so. After we are done being amused, we come around and are more than ready to enjoy the subtler pleasures of a shy boy.

For instance, I went to a birthday party a few years back. My buddy had invited a friend who was just a riot. He was a total flirt, and gave me my first "kitten kiss" (sloppy, but intriguing). For the first half of the evening, I was ON FIRE. But as the night went on, I noticed that he was that way with all the girls, and half the guys. By the end of the night, he had worn me out, and I kinda wished I hadn't let him put his lips on me. On the way home, I mentioned what an attention whore he was, and my friend could only chuckle. Most aggressive men don't burn through people quite as quickly as this guy did, but they do something kinda like it...

Anywho. Shyer or quieter men may take longer to build up, but what they build lasts longer.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Jan 13, 2011)

lovelocs said:


> I don't know if it "just happens." Crazy is fun, at least up to a point. Generally, people who are "crazy" are less inhibited, more impulsive, and more outlandish in their behaviors. They may be frankly sexual when others are more reserved. They may spend lots of money. They may say outrageous, hilarious things. It's fun, and a turn on, at least when you first meet.
> Later, when you are in a relationship, and they are frankly sexual with your friends, and they spend the money which was meant for the mortgage, or they say outrageous, hilarious things which alienate your family or get them fired, not so much. And I'm just talking about crazy people. I'm leaving crazy and evil people alone...
> 
> A lot of you guys think that women don't like shy men. Truth is, a lot of us do. We see you and we love you. We just get temporarily sidetracked by Mr. Biff Dickinyourface. Y'all can't say anything, because you get sidetracked by Judy McBooty just as often, or more so. After we are done being amused, we come around and are more than ready to enjoy the subtler pleasures of a shy boy.
> ...



yes i do agree with you,but when i meant crazy i meant like mental disorder crazy,i can take alittle crazy,but if your "Kathy Bates Misery-type crazy" that's a different story.:blink: really wish i found the ones that likes shy guys,i have yet to really come across any.


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## bmann0413 (Jan 13, 2011)

Nope, I hardly get any women.


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## Bearsy (Jan 13, 2011)

scorpioinco said:


> If by chicks you mean, bipolar, aspie, psychotics, then yeah.



I've got a crazy(literally, clinically) girl sort-of courting me right now and I don't have the heart/balls to stop it early. She's been through so much because of it and I don't want to be "that guy"


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## rellis10 (Jan 13, 2011)

Just the one, and I feel so happy and lucky to have her :wubu:


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## RJI (Jan 13, 2011)

I have never had a problem meeting girls but I always thought it was more of my personality/charm/confidence and not my size, until I found out what a FFA was


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## Buffetbelly (Jan 13, 2011)

BLUEeyedBanshee said:


> So, besides the seminar, do you also offer an instructional video? I think an instructional video would be a very lucrative investment.



When you're ready to take it to the next level, Grady Wilson's instructional video is there for you:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/121067/saturday-night-live-grady-wilson-fifty-and-freaky

Sigourney Weaver joins him with some handy exercises for the FFA!


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## cakeboy (Jan 13, 2011)

I'm ready for the instructional video! I need volunteers, ladies, and remember to bring non-flammable underwear and cake. I love cake. PM me for details, unadulterated sass, and awkward Internet crushery.


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## CastingPearls (Jan 13, 2011)

cakeboy said:


> I'm ready for the instructional video! I need volunteers, ladies, and remember to bring non-flammable underwear and cake. I love cake. PM me for details, unadulterated sass, and awkward Internet crushery.


Edible undies are non-flammable, aren't they?


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## Melian (Jan 14, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> Edible undies are non-flammable, aren't they?



Oh no....a lot are made from this cotton candy-like substance, and that shit buuuurns.

Not that I have experience with wearing or burning edible panties. It's just common knowledge


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## Uriel (Jan 14, 2011)

Melian said:


> Oh no....a lot are made from this cotton candy-like substance, and that shit buuuurns.
> 
> Not that I have experience with wearing or burning edible panties. It's just common knowledge



Must expunge thoughts of Melian in edible panties from mind...have to get back to sleep...


-Uriel


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## daddyoh70 (Jan 15, 2011)

Sasquatch! said:


> I get all the girls.



Well, that explains my extensive dry spell!!! That couple with my wife not letting be go out and get more girls


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## escapist (Jan 15, 2011)

Well my old friend Uriel came out of the ethereal mist to post. My answer is of course similar but I'm not a bartender. I think the big thing is the fact that Uriel and I know when the ball of interest is being tossed to us and we know the game is on. I think Bearsy will find himself a superstar once he stops creating to much comfort and keeps the girls curious and on edge about him. BTW, I've seen some of Uriel girls and WOW:eat2:!

I am 500 lbs, I did probably did a lot more dating at 400 but that is because I didn't have a job, I was far more active, went to a ton of parties, and always took the chance. Some of them were FFA's some of them were not. Even my current FFA girlfriend will tell you she wouldn't be with me if I wasn't nice. She's always been attracted to big guys but always a big terrified of them. Apparently at my size 6'4"ish and 500 lbs people a foot shorter than you tend to be a bit scared just seeing you. She loves to analyze me and says I developed a seeming natural skill at disarming people and making them feel good around me.

So I have to say Its hard not to get a lot of "chicks" when your super social, often the center of attention, and truly enjoy life. When your having fun, people around you tend to have fun, and people tend to want to be around you to have the fun. Its a lot like turning yourself into a magnet and letting the good times roll. Don't believe me? Go to a club or a party and watch any guy who is a "Natural" and that is what you will see.

I totally have to agree with RJI too, watch out for the FFA's man, they can actually pounce and attack lol.


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## CastingPearls (Jan 15, 2011)

Uriel doesn't make my skin crawl. Some of the other guys here do so there's more to it than common PUA tactics.


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## escapist (Jan 15, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> Uriel doesn't make my skin crawl. Some of the other guys here do so there's more to it than common PUA tactics.



I really like Uriel but he does make my skin crawl from time to time  :happy:

Not sure where PUA tactics comes into play other than perhaps watching naturals which is where most the "Dating Guru's" got their idea's from in the first place. I don't think this thread has anything to do with the topic though.


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## shuefly pie (Jan 15, 2011)

scorpioinco said:


> If by chicks you mean, bipolar, aspie, psychotics, then yeah.


_Pssst...Asperger's Syndrome is not a mental disorder_

/PSA


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## chicken legs (Jan 15, 2011)

I want some cute chicks..









and lots of em'


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## FemFAtail (Jan 16, 2011)

Buffetbelly said:


> Only got one girl, but that's happens to be exactly the number of women I was looking for!



And she's attempting to be the exact number that you can handle, too!:eat2:


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## KittyKitten (Jan 23, 2011)

chicken legs said:


> I want some cute chicks..
> 
> 
> 
> ...





Awwww, be still my heart! :wubu::wubu:


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## big_heart_and_belly (Jan 27, 2011)

since ive been big i havent had but one girl. she just left me last month. she was amazing. cute very petite. she said she always liked bigger guys tho most of her BFs were in shape and her age. So with me she never told anyone except for her sisters that we were dating. like she was ashamed of what she liked. from not having anyone for so long then falling in love so hard i am crushed. hopefully will find someone again. but my thoughts keep going back to her. ugghh


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## HDANGEL15 (Jan 27, 2011)

big_heart_and_belly said:


> since ive been big i havent had but one girl. she just left me last month. she was amazing. cute very petite. she said she always liked bigger guys tho most of her BFs were in shape and her age. So with me she never told anyone except for her sisters that we were dating. like she was ashamed of what she liked. from not having anyone for so long then falling in love so hard i am crushed. hopefully will find someone again. but my thoughts keep going back to her. ugghh



*(((BHAB))) you so deserve a woman that loves you AS YOU ARE NOW...and is not ashamed BUT PROUD TO HAVE YOU!!!! 

She wasn't the girl for you...but maybe one of us lucky FFA's is :smitten:*


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## cakeboy (Jan 29, 2011)

Fellas, the only thing between you and the ladies is you. Take a teaspoon of concrete, harden the fuck up, and swing for the fences. I'm nothing special in the looks department, but I'm a good conversationalist and very confident. It makes all the difference


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## HDANGEL15 (Jan 29, 2011)

cakeboy said:


> Fellas, the only thing between you and the ladies is you. Take a teaspoon of concrete, harden the fuck up, and swing for the fences. I'm nothing special in the looks department, but I'm a good conversationalist and very confident. It makes all the difference


*
TRUE THAT 

although i FORGOT WHAT YOU LIKE LIKE.......


post some pixplskthxbai*


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## 6'7"540lbs (Jan 29, 2011)

Do I get lots of chicks? 
No, not really as they tend to be scared of the sheer size of me! I did have a thing with one really great girl and she was only 5'2, but I screwed up and I wound up hurting her. Now I miss her...


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## JulieD (Jan 29, 2011)

HDANGEL15 said:


> *
> TRUE THAT
> 
> although i FORGOT WHAT YOU LIKE LIKE.......
> ...


Srsly, sometimes I feel like all I do is follow some posters around, agreeing to everything they say...
Agreed! Again...


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## CastingPearls (Jan 29, 2011)

cakeboy said:


> Fellas, the only thing between you and the ladies is you. Take a teaspoon of concrete, harden the fuck up, and swing for the fences. I'm nothing special in the looks department, but I'm a good conversationalist and very confident. It makes all the difference


Very good advice.


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## coriander (Feb 8, 2011)

Bearsy said:


> I've never known someone who likes shy guys; every woman I know seems to go for the in-your-face kind of men.
> 
> It's good to know the rest of us have at least one supporter, haha.
> 
> ...



I am into shy guys! In all cases (except for one), I was the one who initiated "first contact", if you know what I mean. Like, I had to. It wasn't long before I learned to recognize the deer-in-headlights look for what it is. Eventually, you just have to put them out of their misery. But I digress.

There ARE women that like shy guys, and aren't into the in-your-face, (over)confident type. But at the same time, I do think a communication problem arises when a guy is so shy that he comes off as totally not into the object of his affections. For example, I know a guy who just cock-blocked himself because he sat as far away as humanly possible from the girl he was into. She'd apparently already said she'd "fuck the shit out of him", and he KNEW this, but he stayed away from her anyways, and she assumed his avoidant behaviour was a result of him, er, trying to avoid her.

It kind of makes me wonder how many guys who appeared to have no interest in me actually did...hmm!


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## lovelocs (Feb 8, 2011)

coriander said:


> It kind of makes me wonder how many guys who appeared to have no interest in me actually did...hmm!



I can tell you right now. LOTS.


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## coriander (Feb 8, 2011)

lovelocs said:


> I can tell you right now. LOTS.



Hehe. I am sure it's the same for you (guys or girls, as the case may be)!

But yeah, a lot of people seem to have a story of some awesome person in their life that they didn't find out was super duper into them until it was too late. Unrequited love...it's making me mopey!


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## Sasquatch! (Feb 8, 2011)

Everyone is into me. Only one of them can have me.


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## djudex (Feb 8, 2011)

Sasquatch! said:


> Everyone is into me. Only one of them can have me.



Look I told you it was a one time fling, you'll have to move on...


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## coriander (Feb 8, 2011)

Sasquatch! said:


> Everyone is into me. Only one of them can have me.



That sounds like the most terrible of curses.


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## rellis10 (Feb 10, 2011)

Sasquatch! said:


> Everyone is into me. Only one of them can have me.





djudex said:


> Look I told you it was a one time fling, you'll have to move on...



But...I thought I was the only one for you Sassy....:sad:


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## Sasquatch! (Feb 10, 2011)

rellis10 said:


> But...I thought I was the only one for you Sassy....:sad:



There can be only one.

*hands Rellis a sword*


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## rellis10 (Feb 10, 2011)

Sasquatch! said:


> There can be only one.
> 
> *hands Rellis a sword*



Is that a euphemism?


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## Amaranthine (Feb 10, 2011)

rellis10 said:


> Is that a euphemism?



I think you're best to ask whose sword it is


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## Kaylathebudgie (Jun 21, 2011)

I'd love to get with a cuddly fat guy.... Too bad they are not getting laid. lots of them are actually better in bed.


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## biglynch (Jun 21, 2011)

who says we aint getting laid, lol. I'm doing ok... (wow that sounded better in my head)


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## Zandoz (Jun 21, 2011)

Almost none. You could count on one hand the number of girls/women interested in me to the point of dating, and who did not have ulterior motives....and have a finger left....maybe two.

On the other hand, I had a lot who wanted a big brother, or a shoulder to cry on.

It took a while for me to see that my now wife was serious, and not one of the above mentioned.


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## Morbid (Jun 21, 2011)

Bearsy said:


> I flirt/get flirted with often, but it rarely goes anywhere beyond platonic fun. When I try to make the jump I get shot down as being "just a friend".



That's how it is with me also


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## Fat_Cat (Jun 21, 2011)

Zowie said:


> creepy cannabalistic FFAs



I now know how I want to die haha


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## Morbid (Jun 21, 2011)

I would love to find someone woh is intrested in me for who I am...


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## Kamily (Jun 21, 2011)

coriander said:


> In all cases (except for one), I was the one who initiated "first contact", if you know what I mean. Like, I had to. It wasn't long before I learned to recognize the deer-in-headlights look for what it is. Eventually, you just have to put them out of their misery. But I digress.




Im not into the shy ones. Im an aggressive woman and prefer my man to be the same way. I hate having to make the 1st move and initiate everything. Once in awhile its ok but for the most part Hell no. 







cakeboy said:


> Fellas, the only thing between you and the ladies is you. Take a teaspoon of concrete, harden the fuck up, and swing for the fences. I'm nothing special in the looks department, but I'm a good conversationalist and very confident. It makes all the difference




AMEN!!!! Its all about building up your confidence. Get out there and be yourself. You will never know unless you try.


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## LeoGibson (Jun 21, 2011)

I don't,but not because they aren't there,but my wife really frowns on me dating other women.

I was painfully shy growing up and got zero attention when I was younger.I was always self-conscious and had zero confidence at all.Somewhere along the way as I have gotten older and having been married awhile,I quit giving a damn one way or the other.So now since I'm not interested in hooking up with anyone I'll talk to anyone male or female and treat them pretty much the same and have good conversation.I found that just by being human and confident in myself and talking to women as I would anyone and not trying to be slick or game them,I get alot more attention and green light signals from them now that I'm not interested in doing anything about it.


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## J34 (Jun 22, 2011)

Bearsy said:


> I've got a crazy(literally, clinically) girl sort-of courting me right now and I don't have the heart/balls to stop it early. She's been through so much because of it and I don't want to be "that guy"



Yea, a friend I had ended up dumping a girl just like that. After the semester ended and he was at home with his family in DC she ended up at his home doorstep. No one knows how she got his address and it certainly wasn't from his friends. 
The girl was psycho, and let me tell you this- its better to end it sooner rather than later. The longer you stay with her the harder it will be for her to let go.

Well on my end, my introversion puts off people from all ends. Makes people think I am cold and distant, and add on to it the social awkwardness and you have a winning combo. Although I have tons of friends despite this, and the best thing of all they are all good people. So in a way it weeds out the flakes, narcissists and all other social losers.


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## kronoman (Jun 22, 2011)

I get girls to flirt with me, I like to flirt with girls, and when Im on some gin tonics I start to talk with everybody and get myself in some situations that may compromise public decency lol 
original poster, try more bars with slutty girls lol :doh:


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## imfree (Jun 22, 2011)

I get a lotta' chicks if I put a lot of eggs in the incubator, works every time! Seriously, though, confidence and willingness to listen go a long way with the ladies.


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## Kamily (Jun 22, 2011)

imfree said:


> I get a lotta' chicks if I put a lot of eggs in the incubator, works every time!



LMAO!!!! Good one!


----------



## Dromond (Jun 24, 2011)

I never had a problem with getting dates when I wanted them. I've been surrounded by women pretty much all my life. Most of my friends are women. *shrug* I couldn't tell you what the "magic formula" is, because I don't know what it is. Jackie has seen it in action, and she just shakes her head in wonder. 

Fortunately she's secure in the knowledge that I'm firmly committed to, and madly in love with, her. So jealousy is not an issue.


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## ForeignSoul (Jun 24, 2011)

I get girls....as friends. lol

I'm that weird, Quirky, funny, loving guy that EVERYONE loooves to have as a friend. Just for someone to listen/talk to, and give good hugs....


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## luvbigfellas (Jun 24, 2011)

This all seems similar to the usual deal that I get: "You're a nice/amazing/sweet girl, but..." or "You're a great lay, but..." or something along those lines. Go figure.


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## bladenite78 (Jun 24, 2011)

I used to have a one way do not pass go direct pass to the friend zone every time I chatted with a girl. It's not so bad, but it does grow contempt in your heart when you feel like a pawn. Nobody wants to be a set up piece forever, every one wants to have their turn at the crown, unfortunately its not our choice. We have to be ourselves, take ourselves out of situations that would cause us pain and hope for the best. Forgive the old movie maxims but they ring truth, "luck favors the well prepared" and "Fortune favors the bold". Always be willing to stick your neck out for someone worth the risk and be perpetually working on yourself in the meantime.


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## ForeignSoul (Jun 25, 2011)

Under Seige II: Dark Territory has some great quotes I use daily...

"Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups"

and, my other fave that I always use, similar to yours...

"Chance favors the prepared mind"


Both are totally daily usable! lol Sometimes I use the first one a dozen times a day


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Jun 29, 2011)

ForeignSoul said:


> I get girls....as friends. lol
> 
> I'm that weird, Quirky, funny, loving guy that EVERYONE loooves to have as a friend. Just for someone to listen/talk to, and give good hugs....



you're married though, what more could you want than friends? That just means you're a super badass person to have around.


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## Dromond (Jun 29, 2011)

I think you know the answer to your question, Hozay.


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## Broadside (Jul 13, 2011)

I live on the East Coast now, where the cast of Jersey shore seems to be a clear indicator of how people view beauty around here.

So hell no I don't get alot of women. I rarely get second glances.

Though I seem to do much better in NYC... not sure why. Especially with foreign women.


----------



## escapist (Jul 13, 2011)

Broadside said:


> I live on the East Coast now, where the cast of Jersey shore seems to be a clear indicator of how people view beauty around here.
> 
> So hell no I don't get alot of women. I rarely get second glances.
> 
> Though I seem to do much better in NYC... not sure why. Especially with foreign women.



I'd love to go there. Sounds like there is a big market for the women that are sick of the "Typical Jersey guy" and want to try something different or heck just aren't into 'those guys'. So what if out of a thousand woman 800 are into stereo typical jersey guy. I'm willing to bet there are a good 20% who want something totally different. You just gotta be willing to learn how to spot them.


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## Broadside (Jul 13, 2011)

I think it all depends on which bars and parts of the city you hang out at. Don't hang out in traditional American bars and you tend to find more, but by more I mean a few hits a year.

It's an odd city to be sure but if you're looking for a place to start I'd hit up St. Marks on the Lower East Side. Actually the Lower East Side in general tends to hold the most free thinkers. Above Avenue D anyway. In fact I think there are regular fetish balls down there, it might be worth checking out just to see if there's an FA/FFA thing going on.


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## escapist (Jul 13, 2011)

Sounds like you have a good idea where to start. I personally like to just get involved in activities I already enjoy. There are almost always social groups to go do those things, or I go do things where I find plenty of women doing them too. I've said it before, hiking in the hills was insanely successful for me. I got numbers ever week I went. I didn't expect it, but soon welcomed it. It was a great bonus to doing something I already enjoyed doing.


----------



## meangreen (Aug 11, 2011)

chicken legs said:


> I want some cute chicks..
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Let's go to walgreens, and pick up some chicks!


----------



## BLK360 (Aug 11, 2011)

KnottyOne said:


> All about confidence, doesn't matter how big ya are, how pretty ya are, what you do or how much money ya make. You have a personality that draws people in, you will get girls. So going off that... yes, yes I do. Just be fun and interesting and anyone can get just about anyone they want



I'm a 400 lb dude, and the guy I just quoted is 100% right. Fuck, I got shot down by a girl whom I asked for her number, but I didn't let it break my stride, told her "Well, alright, see ya around cutie." Ended up talking to her a lot more later on, now she's showing interest pretty openly. It's about that swagger, also, people like happy people. If you get shot down and mope, or act discouraged you're pretty screwed.


----------



## ImReallyGoodWithAFork (Aug 11, 2011)

BLK360 said:


> It's about that swagger, also, people like happy people. If you get shot down and mope, or act discouraged you're pretty screwed.



This. A good attitude goes a long fucking way. Also I was guilty of this in my early 20's don't be a needy guy, play it cool hot shot. Don't mope, it's a huge turn off for women. If you get turned down, you act like theyre the ones missing out, and you have plenty of other options.


----------



## escapist (Aug 20, 2011)

BLK360 said:


> I'm a 400 lb dude, and the guy I just quoted is 100% right. Fuck, I got shot down by a girl whom I asked for her number, but I didn't let it break my stride, told her "Well, alright, see ya around cutie." Ended up talking to her a lot more later on, now she's showing interest pretty openly. It's about that swagger, also, people like happy people. If you get shot down and mope, or act discouraged you're pretty screwed.



Yep, its not even about being nice or friendly. Its so dependent on the swagger pull factor for most guys that a strong personality with a dash of charisma is really all you need. I work with a guy almost as big as I am who is pretty moody, 80% dark and gloomy but has a Very Strong Personality with dash of charisma and women love him including his very attractive girlfriend.

As to the girl with the B' Shield you asked for a number from, you actually did a textbook move on. Many guys instantly think cause a woman tosses up her shield she is a bitch or he himself is a looser. Its just not so (sometimes it can be). Often she's just screening you to make sure your not one of the mindless looser who has no idea what he's doing when he asks for her number and isn't worth her time. The textbook move I'm referring too is maintaing your frame of "Hey, I'm cool, its cool. I'm playful, fun and willing to walk away". You may have spoken different words but sounds like that is what came out (very cool by the way).

So for the even longer explanation of a B'tch Shield ($sh1t Test):
Kenzia on Shields 1
Kenzia on Shields 2
Kenzia on Shields 3

Just for fun here is a real life spy cam of a guy blasting though a Shield

Or you can Be Like This Guy! LOL!


----------



## CastingPearls (Aug 20, 2011)

For the most part, Kenzia's right on the money about shields.


----------



## escapist (Aug 20, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> For the most part, Kenzia's right on the money about shields.



Yeah, I kinda like how she breaks it down too. Some of it is a bit regurgitated from others I've heard. However, as a woman adds a perspective usually not heard by guru's. I don't know if you heard the whole thing but she talks about how when she was younger she didn't have "The Shield" but after clubbing it really started to develop cause she was so sick of the constant bombardment.

I think its funny though a lot of what she says can be summed up when she was talking about the need to just stop being afraid of being shut down and learn how to recover when someone verbally/emotionally/socially tosses you off balance. Which is exactly what *BLK360* did when he said, "Well, alright, see ya around cutie". Having worked in bars as a bouncer I saw guys bomb on this. Some of them blow-ups were Epic! She says something about it too how often the response from guys can be very hostile. A bit of alcohol only intensifies that. One of the ones that stands out was when a guy got blown off and he went directly to kill mode and was going to knife the guy she did eventually dance with. He was so upset that he even threatened to kill me for putting him in a joint lock and tossing him out of the bar. He should have been happy nobody called the cops and he just got 86's. Anyways, my point, I'd rather guys learn how to deal with this stuff in a socially graceful way like BLK360 did. Prop's to ya man and hope things continue down the path your on.


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## CastingPearls (Aug 20, 2011)

escapist said:


> /snip/ I don't know if you heard the whole thing but she talks about how when she was younger she didn't have "The Shield" but after clubbing it really started to develop cause she was so sick of the constant bombardment.



Actually, I did listen to all three parts because I recognized my own behavior when I used to go clubbing and she was right. I felt the same way whether conscious or unconscious that I needed to weed out what I thought of as weak. The only thing I would argue with is that while this might work at a club, bar or party, this might not be so applicable in every situation. Shields are put up when you're basically 'going into battle' so if a guy hit me up in the supermarket or at the mall, there's a good chance I might respond differently. Not necessarily favorably, though. Also, a lot of women like shy guys and these guys aren't really going to be populating clubs. Pick-up lines and intros are going to be different at the library or a dinner party--(although 'come here often?' would fall under the weird or different category and WOULD make me laugh) There's a lot of good stuff in what she said but I was also a little annoyed how she kind of gave it all away. LOL


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## escapist (Aug 20, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> There's a lot of good stuff in what she said but I was also a little annoyed how she kind of gave it all away. LOL



Lol, well not sure she "gave it away". I'm pretty sure she got paid pretty well. $300-$500 isn't unheard of for a seminar (per person). A lot of the video's posted on youtube though are often posted without permission.

I'm pretty sure she would agree with you though that time and place will change the intensity of the exchange. However I've seen the principal hold true. I won't name names but there is someone I know who considered herself SUPER HOT, and I'm not really saying she's not but dang that girls shield is up 24/7 because of it. Some people you just have to learn how to get past it in order to have a normal social conversation.

As for pick up lines, my God, whoever came up with those needs to be shot. Canned quotes can be good in the right place (we all do it normally, like quoting a line from a new or popular movie), but line after line just makes you sound like a robot with no imagination. I'm more a fan of let the words you say follow what you feel inside because you really are fun.

Shy guys, well I got a lot of friends like that. They just don't like that they are dependent on a woman approaching them. Flip side is they are to shy to change it so they end up with LONG gaps between relationships. I only get shy around aggressive, attractive, sexually dominate women. I hate it! lol. You would think I'd be all rolling around in it but those are the only women who can shut me up and make me blush and go clueless. I hate being switch sometimes cause it only seems to make them go after me even more aggressively. Sooo, lesson there (for guys and girls) seduce don't just attack. I guess my definition of seduction would be to pull someone in/let them come to you, then pounce  Chicken Legs is pretty good at it.


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## ManBeef (Aug 20, 2011)

Man this is an easy one. If you don't have swag like some of us (I am aware that most have this impression of me && that is what I purposely put out there. But I do well with the ladies because most take the time to see passed the idiot man child I play in real life, && on t.v.) just buy some Old Spice Swagger... It'll do wonders son. If that doesn't work, just walk up to her && show her your craziest PELVIC THRUSTING!!! The motion in your ocean will wow her into your arms brothers, OOOH YEEEAH!


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## CastingPearls (Aug 20, 2011)

escapist said:


> Lol, well not sure she "gave it away". I'm pretty sure she got paid pretty well. $300-$500 isn't unheard of for a seminar (per person). have a normal social conversation.



I think you know I didn't mean she was doing it for free. LOL Now we have to come up with new shields!


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## escapist (Aug 20, 2011)

^ DOH! you are correct. I did mean that. 

In regards to new shields the old ones seem to work just fine. Thousands of years of cultural and genetic backed formation of such things is not a bad thing. I think the real debate would be is: If a guy can talk to a friend. Read a book. Watch a video and learn to overcome his own inner battle to take up the challenge of breaking though "the shield" hasn't he proven his own worthiness to some degree? The fact is you can gain knowledge all day long, if you never learn to appropriately apply it, its pretty much useless. Most women are masters of reading body language form birth. Always screening and reading even the smallest change in expression. Its not something you can really fool. I try to tell guys to not even try. If a guy doesn't make the behavior change in himself it will never come out as natural and will probably give someone the creeps. You can "Fake it till you make it" to some degree but at some point you have to actually "make it" aka change on the inside. It's the time spent adjusting ones internal perspective that negates who they were and changes into the person they have become.

I believe transformations are real. Most of us do, most people love stories where hero or heroine makes such changes in there life. Hell seems like most teen movies are about such things where the geeky guy learns the secret of his own inner cool and finally gets the girl. Not trying to be someone else but actually transforming till they are something new. I think this favorte quote of mine says it best:

"_The human mind once stretched by a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions._" - Oliver Wendell Holmes





Yeah I know this kind of social psychological stuff is like crack to me.


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## KingBoo (Sep 1, 2011)

Yes I dooooooooooooooooo


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## JulieD (Sep 1, 2011)

KingBoo said:


> Yes I dooooooooooooooooo



It doesn't count if you have to pay them...just saying


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## Specter (Sep 6, 2011)

Relationship wise, no, but sexually I've been with 4 woman this year alone, not sure if that's alot, and the years not over yet. I just like having fun and enjoying the last of my 20's before they're over.


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## Broadside (Sep 6, 2011)

I'm moving back to the Mid West by the end of the month, and the apartment I've got reserved is within walking distance of a few restaurants and a bar that's regularly full of people on any given night.

My problem is I usually just sit at the bar with a bottle of beer and see how much of the label I can peel off in one pull. Then if I get really lucky I'll get a full label all at one time, and then I can make a little paper airplane out of it. Then if the bottle cap is still on the bar after being popped off, I'll squeeze that between my thumb and forefinger until I fold it in half and pinch it shut. So by the end of one beer, I'll at least have another 12 ounces of beer in my gut, and if I'm lucky, a little paper air plane, and a bottle cap clam shell.

What I normally won't have is a conversation with a woman who might be interested, because I generally just sit there thinking "well, if they wanted to talk to me, they'd talk to me.". So I very rarely initiate anything.

That was before I found this site though. Oddly enough after being exposed to the paradigms here, it's twisted my thinking of "no one here is interested in me, solely based on my size, so fuck it." to "well, maybe one of them is interested...but which one?". Due to that little shift, I've been making far more eye contact and smiling on a regular basis. Which usually leads to a complete "could shoulder-get bent" look, or sustained eye contact and a smile. Which, of course, is the opening to start a conversation. 

It will be interesting to see what happens in the future, but even if nothing does, I can still make a paper airplane and listen to music at the bar.


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## PaperZombie (Sep 6, 2011)

Nope, but I get a lot of chicken sammiches!


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## bmann0413 (Sep 6, 2011)

I don't get the girls around here. I kinda don't want to. Most girls around here are trying to find husbands and have children or just find some guy to have sex with. I just want to do some dating, maybe have a meaningful relationship. I need to move. lol


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## escapist (Sep 7, 2011)

bmann0413 said:


> I don't get the girls around here. I kinda don't want to. Most girls around here are trying to find husbands and have children or just find some guy to have sex with. I just want to do some dating, maybe have a meaningful relationship. I need to move. lol



Don't give up. Dating can be a numbers game sometimes. The odds may not always be in your favor but if you try enough of them you will without a doubt find what your looking for or at least something that is VERY close to what you thought you wanted.

As for some of the other post. Uh, sometimes you have to make a move. In my experience some FA's can be VERY quite, and just watch in shock and awe, so if you want them you have to have the guts to give it a shot, and to move on if you get shot down. 

Sometimes its awesome sometimes its not. All it takes is taking a chance and discovering someone you thought was great thinks the same about you! Its freaking great when it happens, I just use it as fuel till I find the next connection if it failed in the end last time.


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## mediaboy (Sep 13, 2011)

Gentle men, Alpha up.


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## PandaGeek (Sep 13, 2011)

If only there was a tattoo FFAs could get so we had some way of knowing. Polyamory has a tattoo... BDSM has a tattoo... why not FFAs.


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## FishCharming (Sep 13, 2011)

PandaGeek said:


> If only there was a tattoo FFAs could get so we had some way of knowing. Polyamory has a tattoo... BDSM has a tattoo... why not FFAs.



we decided on bacon bracelets but it never came to fruition


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## PandaGeek (Sep 14, 2011)

I like this one... part big man curves... part evil grin with horns...

View attachment symbol.jpg



I was bored. And I am so not an artist.


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## Zowie (Sep 14, 2011)

PandaGeek said:


> I like this one... part big man curves... part evil grin with horns...
> 
> View attachment 97135
> 
> ...



Heh, it looks like a dog-collar and leash. We might be taking over BDSM territory.


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## PandaGeek (Sep 14, 2011)

I'm into both... works for me.


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## Zowie (Sep 14, 2011)

Well for us vanilla folks... I put my fancee edookationz to good use.


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## Paquito (Sep 14, 2011)

Zowie said:


> Well for us vanilla folks... I put my fancee edookationz to good use.



If we get that tattooed on a fat guy, FATCEPTION

ROLLS WITHIN ROLLS


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## Zowie (Sep 14, 2011)

Paquito said:


> If we get that tattooed on a fat guy, FATCEPTION
> 
> ROLLS WITHIN ROLLS



I can just imagine that eerie/dramatic music playing each time the poor guy enters a room. He'd be a sour bitch.


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## escapist (Sep 14, 2011)

I don't think Tattoo's are needed at all. I think once you get to know FFA's you will start to notice them. That's how its worked for me anyways. Hell they still come right out sometimes. On Saturday I was coming out from the Barber shop and got cat-called! She literally yelled at me from across the parking lot, "You married". I was so shocked a looked around to make sure she was talking to me which only made her laugh. Took me a minute to recover. Usually I'm pretty quick witted, but aggressive women can really shock me into shy silence. I eventually recovered and gave her my new vanity phone number (XXX)XXX-HULK sorry blanking out some of the numbers but it's a freaking great number for a 6'4" 500lb.ish dude.

So, either she is an FFA, or I got the BEST FREAKING HAIRCUT of my LIFE lol. :happy:


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## Sasquatch! (Sep 14, 2011)

Sounds like even hookers are having to get creative in this economic climate.


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## escapist (Sep 14, 2011)

Sasquatch! said:


> Sounds like even hookers are having to get creative in this economic climate.



LOL, nice try, but while we are on the subject of hookers and creative marketing, I have to share this!


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## imfree (Sep 14, 2011)

escapist said:


> LOL, nice try, but while we are on the subject of hookers and creative marketing, I have to share this!



Ha! "Hookers" could be "fishers of men"


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## Sasquatch! (Sep 14, 2011)

escapist said:


> LOL, nice try, but while we are on the subject of hookers and creative marketing, I have to share this!



Glad you appreciate the joke :happy:


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## bigmac (Sep 14, 2011)

Bearsy said:


> I flirt/get flirted with often, but it rarely goes anywhere beyond platonic fun. When I try to make the jump I get shot down as being "just a friend".





mediaboy said:


> Gentle men, Alpha up.




Once you're in the friend zone there's no escape. The sad truth is that ladies are more attracted to Alpha males than they are to nice guys. Being nice never once got me laid.

If you're a nice guy you have to learn to fake the Alpha male shit.


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## djudex (Sep 14, 2011)

bigmac said:


> Once you're in the friend zone there's no escape.



I've gotten out of the friend zone twice.

IT CAN BE DONE MY BROTHERS!! GIVE NOT UP THINE HOPE!!

/thumps chest like an alpha-ape


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## escapist (Sep 15, 2011)

bigmac said:


> Once you're in the friend zone there's no escape. The sad truth is that ladies are more attracted to Alpha males than they are to nice guys. Being nice never once got me laid.
> 
> If you're a nice guy you have to learn to fake the Alpha male shit.



First I'm sure I'll get hate mail on this:

"have to learn to fake the Alpha male shit." Yes and no. Its called Fake it till you make it. Your almost sounding like a PUA only you missed the part on Internal Game. Its called don't work on girls. Work on yourself and the women will be drawn to you. Also you don't have to be a jerk Alpha male all the time. I am seriously a Mix of Nice guy and Jerk which I think is fairly realistic for someone to be. I've found many women really appreciate it when they get to crack the shell and find the nice guy inside.

By the way that line of thinking your displaying right now is actually a huge turn off to most attractive women no matter how hot you might be. If you're a nice guy, be a real, be nice. Don't pretend to be a nice guy and say things you think she wants to hear. Example, if a woman I'm interested in as a girlfriend starts talking about a guy she is into and bla bla bla bla....yeah that chat isn't going to happen. Not cause I'm a jerk but because I'm not her girlfriend. I'm not going to be an emotional tampon hoping that if I sit around and take enough of it she will notice how great I am and want to date me. 



djudex said:


> I've gotten out of the friend zone twice.
> 
> IT CAN BE DONE MY BROTHERS!! GIVE NOT UP THINE HOPE!!



Totally right as well! I got out of a Freeze out, Friend Zone that lasted many years! I had to educate myself to realized why I was friend zoned. I was doing some of the stuff I listed above, the good and the bad. After I started dropping out the bad and not worry what the relationship was or wasn't it shockingly changed one day. Talk about a cool moment! 

Lesson here? Adapt, Learn, and Grow, OR learn to like this:


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## CastingPearls (Sep 15, 2011)

bigmac said:


> Once you're in the friend zone there's no escape. The sad truth is that ladies are more attracted to Alpha males than they are to nice guys. Being nice never once got me laid.
> 
> If you're a nice guy you have to learn to fake the Alpha male shit.





djudex said:


> I've gotten out of the friend zone twice.
> 
> IT CAN BE DONE MY BROTHERS!! GIVE NOT UP THINE HOPE!!
> 
> /thumps chest like an alpha-ape



I friend-zoned an 'alpha' (God I hate that term) then woke up out of my stupor so the friend-zone isn't necessarily a death sentence. There are exceptions.


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## escapist (Sep 15, 2011)

Yeah I know I keep going on with the subject but dude, ya gotta be nice too you just can't be fake nice. All the FFA's I know have a shy side, and parts of them where they shutdown and can't even talk to you because if you're a BHM you may represent the man of their dreams and you can't understand what its doing to them. They need someone who can hang with that until they get used to you.

...ok Rant off. :happy:


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## FishCharming (Sep 15, 2011)

bigmac said:


> Once you're in the friend zone there's no escape. The sad truth is that ladies are more attracted to Alpha males than they are to nice guys. Being nice never once got me laid.
> 
> If you're a nice guy you have to learn to fake the Alpha male shit.



it depends on the friend you are. if you're the wheedling, "whatever you need, i'll drop what i'm doing" kinda friend then yeah, you are forever stuck in the friend zone. you can't be too nice. it helps that im naturally an asshole though i guess but i find the friend zone to be an excellent staging area for the pantie assault


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## SlightlyMorbid (Sep 16, 2011)

I dunno about the whole +size tattoos, though I do recall they had these badges ideas with a heart and a + in it or soemthing for love for bigger whatever

-facedesks- I dunno. My memory fails me at the moment.


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