# Dim Bash Thread - FA Meetup



## Duniwin (Jun 24, 2009)

We wanted to bring the topics we discussed in the bash workshops back to the Dimensions community for further discussion. A full list of the workshops is <<here>>, but this thread is for discussion based on the FA Meetupworkshop specifically.

Use this thread to continue the discussion, give feedback, or bring up more topics you’d like to see covered in the future.

*FA Meetup*
Leaders: Falstaff400 (Dave G.), FAJohnny
This gathering gives those who love fat people a chance to talk amongst themselves about the challenges and rewards of being an FA. Topics of discussion will likely include the new FA/FFA forum, coming out to friends and family, having a non-mainstream preference, FA guilt, and maintaining composure in the candy store.


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## Tad (Jun 25, 2009)

So....was there much attendance?


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## Blackjack (Jun 25, 2009)

It was pretty well-attended, yeah. Fairly informative, in my opinion, and hearing about other guys' experiences and the like gives some real-world insight on a whole bunch of stuff that I hadn't been sure how to approach.


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## Duniwin (Jun 25, 2009)

This workshop was a casual FA get-together. We started out in a tight circle talking about how nice it was to finally have that sense of camaraderie and locker room chat with other guys who understand and share the same preferences. As FAs trickled in we started expanding the circle and sharing stories of experiences we had explaining our preference to others in our workplace or circle of friends. We ended up with about two dozen guys altogether.

It's a little difficult recalling what we talked about at the FA meetup and what we talked about at guys only half of the supersize perspectives workshop, since they were both in the same room with only about a 5 minute break, and people were mostly the same with a handful of additions and subtractions.

But we shared stories about family issues with being an FA, and bringin g your girlfriend home.
We talked about dealing with comments from friends and determining who your true friends are.

We had a very frank discussion about health and size: where the two are totally unrelated as well as special issues BBWs deal with and how FAs can help.

We talked about how FAs can help in social situations, what to look for in restaurant seating, etc.

We talked about being supportive of your partner when dealing with weight loss, and that supporting a partner's weight loss doesn't make you "less of an FA."

This might have been The Supersize Perspectives workshop, but we talked about different tools and aids and how to acquire them, from reaching aids to bath benches and shower heads.

Speaking for myself, I really enjoyed listening to the older FAs who have been in long term relationships and marriages. They had a lot of information to share, and I hope many of them become more active on the boards. I've already seen a number of posts by Heather's husband John on the boards since the bash. I wish you could have been at the Bash, Edx. It was a great time.


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## SocialbFly (Jun 25, 2009)

It really warms my heart to hear/read about this. To me, it shows how much some partners care about their hopeful significant others. To me it shows a deeper commitment so to speak, to their bigger half. Thank you.


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## ashmamma84 (Jun 25, 2009)

That's beautiful. I'm glad FA's were able to meet, compare notes, etc. I'm hoping next year my partner will be able to chime in. I think it will be nice to hear a different perspective than most -- a lesbian FA.


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## mergirl (Jun 26, 2009)

ashmamma84 said:


> That's beautiful. I'm glad FA's were able to meet, compare notes, etc. I'm hoping next year my partner will be able to chime in. I think it will be nice to hear a different perspective than most -- a lesbian FA.


See its funny because i was just thinking this when i read your post. I have decided to make myself more aware of what is written here regarding Fa's. In the past 10 posts or so that i read Fa's were referred to as guys. What about the female Fa's, gay or straight? Its really horrible to feel excluded and pretty easy to attempt to use inclusive language.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 26, 2009)

The FA meetup was going on at the same time the GLBTQ meetup was going on. I didn't go to either, I napped.


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## Ned Sonntag (Jun 26, 2009)

Hope all the dudes remembered to bring plastic ponchoes.:blush:


Duniwin said:


> This workshop was a casual FA get-together. We started out in a tight circle talking about how nice it was to finally have that sense of camaraderie and locker room chat with other guys who understand and share the same preferences. As FAs trickled in we started expanding the circle and sharing stories of experiences we had explaining our preference to others in our workplace or circle of friends. We ended up with about two dozen guys altogether.
> 
> It's a little difficult recalling what we talked about at the FA meetup and what we talked about at guys only half of the supersize perspectives workshop, since they were both in the same room with only about a 5 minute break, and people were mostly the same with a handful of additions and subtractions.
> 
> ...


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## D_A_Bunny (Jun 26, 2009)

ashmamma84 said:


> That's beautiful. I'm glad FA's were able to meet, compare notes, etc. I'm hoping next year my partner will be able to chime in. I think it will be nice to hear a different perspective than most -- a lesbian FA.





mergirl said:


> See its funny because i was just thinking this when i read your post. I have decided to make myself more aware of what is written here regarding Fa's. In the past 10 posts or so that i read Fa's were referred to as guys. What about the female Fa's, gay or straight? Its really horrible to feel excluded and pretty easy to attempt to use inclusive language.



Unfortunately the female fa and the lesbian fa perspectives were missing at the bash. That is only because as far as I know, there weren't any that attended. 

This means that next year, you two need to show up and have a grand time. 

I know that we had one newbie female show up that was an fa looking for a BHM and we hopefully made her feel welcome. It was very nice to speak to her a bit and hopefully she will join this forum or might have already.

I know for my FA husband, he thoroughly enjoyed speaking to others and sharing his story and hearing theirs. He has stated that he would love to meet some female fa's (gay or straight) and chat with them as well.


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## Duniwin (Jul 4, 2009)

I did _not _mean to indicate that male straight FAs are the only ones invited to attend the FA meetup. In fact, I would have loved to have some FFAs there, becuase I feel we have a lot in common. I actually made sure the the workshop description removed the word "male" and explicitly referenced the "FA/FFA forum"

I _did _mean to indicate that male FA were the only ones that were actually at the meetup. Blackjack and I said it was nice to talk to other guys, because guys were the only ones there at the meetup.

The demographics of the Bash were interesting. Some groups were overrepresented, and some were underrepresented. 

Supersize women were a large part of the bash (pun intended) because many supersize women encouraged each other to attend as a show of solidarity, from my understanding. People from the Massachusetts area that regularly attend Heather's HB events were also overrepresented, likely because we know the type of events Heather and crew run and knew it would be an awesome time.

Other groups were underrepresented: midsize women, FFA, and BHM only had a handful each in attendance, and my girlfriend Carla headed up the LBGTQ Meetup herself because she couldn't find a candidate who was going to be attending.

This was a building year, and as the Dimensions Bash population grows, I hope that the attendees better represent the the range of the whole Dimensions community.


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