# Tibet is to China as the BHM/ FFA board is to DIMs



## charlieversion2 (May 8, 2008)

Outside of out lil forum here. We have no voice worth having... and I think that is wrong. Radial action was taken with a jokingly themed tact and then deleted, typical, standard totalitarian.


No noes, the internetz is so mean  I'm gonna leave forever!















HA!


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## charlieversion2 (May 8, 2008)

hmmm... proof?



Sandie_Zitkus said:


> What's the deal Conrad? Wasn't this place made for *US*????


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## Sandie_Zitkus (May 8, 2008)

ChrisVersion2 said:


> hmmm... proof?





Oh PLEASE!!


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## cammy (May 8, 2008)

Tibet is to China as the BHM/ FFA board is to DIMs 

Agreed.


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## LillyBBBW (May 8, 2008)

Marginalization is never a pleasant feeling. I'm so sorry.


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## Tooz (May 8, 2008)

lol I don't even post here and I think this is the best thread ever.


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## Smite (May 8, 2008)

Free Tibet?


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## The Orange Mage (May 8, 2008)

Smite said:


> Free Tibet?



I'll take one!


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## Tychondarova (May 8, 2008)

The Orange Mage said:


> I'll take one!



I suppose this is the time where someone does a clever little rimshot.

*Ba-dum-psh*

-Ty


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## Tina (May 8, 2008)

ChrisVersion2 said:


> Outside of out lil forum here. We have no voice worth having... and I think that is wrong. Radial action was taken with a jokingly themed tact and then deleted, typical, standard totalitarian.
> 
> 
> No noes, the internetz is so mean  I'm gonna leave forever!



Excuse me, but you used a very bigoted graphic to start that thread. You have an opinion fine, but you are no martyr -- no one here is, no matter how much anyone might try to make people think so. No one has touched your second thread because there wasn't anything there that violated the rules.

"totalitarian."


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## charlieversion2 (May 8, 2008)

Tina said:


> "totalitarian."





 a prime example



Thank You :happy:





*Don't worry. It's just the Internetz, not lethal. I'm sure you will be back.*



That is also a good example.

MY point is, in those types of threads, everyone tries to just +1UP the previous person and all that thread was trying to do (which is generally acceptable to people as humor) was make a point about how often it happens here. 

Also, just like everyone here adds little disclaimers at the bottom of their post, I did the same. Tho, odd it did not offer the same protection.


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## Fascinita (May 8, 2008)

ChrisVersion2 said:


> Outside of out lil forum here. We have no voice worth having... and I think that is wrong. Radial action was taken with a jokingly themed tact and then deleted, typical, standard totalitarian.



OMG! Do you know what this means?!

You're the Dalai Lama!


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## Smite (May 8, 2008)

What a fun, sexy time it must've been for you.


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## Paquito (May 8, 2008)

-subscribe-
This could get interesting, one controversial thread ends, another begins.
A.K.A the cycle of forums.


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## Tina (May 8, 2008)

ChrisVersion2 said:


> MY point is, in those types of threads, everyone tries to just +1UP the previous person and all that thread was trying to do (which is generally acceptable to people as humor) was make a point about how often it happens here.


It wouldn't have mattered what the purpose of your thread would have been, using that graphic, "disclaimer" or not, it would have been removed, no matter who posted it. You just might have to give up martyrdom. You can still continue to +1up each other in the other thread all you like, though.


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## cammy (May 8, 2008)

Actually, this thread doesn't say anything that hasn't been said before - perhaps the words are a bit more extreme, but the thought is the same. We, of this board, know our place is here and only here - we are not welcomed elsewhere on DIMS. Many of us, with good intensions have posted on other boards and been blatantly, and sometimes even rudely, tossed to the curb - makes it sort of difficult to truly embrace the plight of "the others."


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## Fascinita (May 8, 2008)

Smite said:


> What a fun, sexy time it must've been for you.



Awwww. Is it my singing, or you just don't like the song? 

Frankly, I'd think a happy-go-lucky guy like you would laugh at a little old joke. Oh, well.


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## Smite (May 8, 2008)

Haha, was just making an Arrested Development reference!


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## Tina (May 8, 2008)

cammy said:


> Actually, this thread doesn't say anything that hasn't been said before - perhaps the words are a bit more extreme, but the thought is the same. We, of this board, know our place is here and only here - we are not welcomed elsewhere on DIMS. Many of us, with good intensions have posted on other boards and been blatantly, and sometimes even rudely, tossed to the curb - makes it sort of difficult to truly embrace the plight of "the others."



You know, that is so not true, from what I have seen.

I remember the old board, where when a guy, fat or thin, would talk about gaining or post pictures, and one of the other guys would gate-keep and try to shoo the guy off. I often posted saying that us women deserve equal time. We like to see you guys, too, fat and thin. 

Matter of fact, I challenge you when this sort of thing happens to report the post and I will personally look at it and see what's up, because honestly, were I to see that, and were it a personal attack, I'd do something about it. Cripes, I like big guys, too -- and my son is a BHM, so you'd better believe that I'd not just ignore something like that. I admit, though, if it's happening on the Weight Board, or in the Library I probably haven't seen it, as I don't frequent those very often (other than the pix of guys -- fat and thin! -- that sometimes crop up on the WB). Also, I have seen a number of women post that they like fat guys, though that doesn't mean they are specifically FFAs and post here. I'm sure a lot browse, though, just like a lot browse for BBW and SSBBW on the other boards, but never post. Cammy, it bothers me enough to think that it happens to ask you to give me some examples, in PM if you'd rather.


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## ripley (May 8, 2008)

I've never posted to the BHM/FFA board (that I recall) but up until now I've kind of envied it. I read here sometimes, and it seemed like a calm oasis at Dims, where people got along.

I've always felt sort of unwelcome here, and now even more so. I am a SSBBW, and it seems like big men like thin women, overall. I like a lot of the BHM and FFA I have met on the other boards. I had no idea you felt this way, or that you felt you were marginalized.

The other boards can be contentious. There are a lot of opinionated people. I think if you've had trouble there, that it's because of that rather than a dislike of BHM/FFA. 

As for the "hot boy" thread...it is what the members made it. And you all are members too. You could have put pictures up of BHM. If you didn't (and I don't know, I've not looked at the thread since day one) then you have no one to blame. You can't say "this thread is this way, and it sucks" if you've made no effort yourself to add diversity to it.


Again, I'm sorry if you feel marginalized. I for one thought you guys had it good here and didn't come out in the forums at large much because you got what you needed here, and disliked the other boards for not being as calm as your oasis. Respectfully, I think some do make the effort and are esteemed on the other boards. DrPMarshall comes to mind, right off the top of my head. So maybe it's that you haven't tried...not that you're forced to be here and only here.

So come out. People can be opinionated, and yes, harsh, sometimes, but it's that way whoever you are...not because you are BHM or FFA. No one requires that you embrace our "plight" but be prepared for dissenting opinions.


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## MaryElizabethAntoinette (May 9, 2008)

ripley said:


> I've never posted to the BHM/FFA board (that I recall) but up until now I've kind of envied it. I read here sometimes, and it seemed like a calm oasis at Dims, where people got along.
> 
> I've always felt sort of unwelcome here, and now even more so. I am a SSBBW, and it seems like big men like thin women, overall. I like a lot of the BHM and FFA I have met on the other boards. I had no idea you felt this way, or that you felt you were marginalized.
> 
> ...



Very very well put.

I think that post inspired me to branch out into the main boards more often!


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## ripley (May 9, 2008)

MaryElizabethAntoinette said:


> Very very well put.
> 
> I think that post inspired me to branch out into the main boards more often!



Thank you.

And nice to meet you.


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## PolarKat (May 9, 2008)

Could someone ASCIIatize what I missed?



ripley said:


> I've always felt sort of unwelcome here, and now even more so. I am a SSBBW, and it seems like big men like thin women, overall.



Not true at all.. most big men are equal opertunity oglers! we even have goverment issued certificates to prove it  I'm just kidding  (about the certificate part).


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## ripley (May 9, 2008)

Good to know.  And I'm pretty far north myself.


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## BLUEeyedBanshee (May 9, 2008)

This community is what we all make it...I suggest we do our best to keep it positive. 

Just sayin.


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## 1300 Class (May 9, 2008)

> I am a SSBBW, and it seems like big men like thin women, overall.


Overall perhaps, but there are those of us who believe.... *secret societies*

I can't say more unless you know the secret handshake and password.


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## William (May 9, 2008)

Hey Blue E.B.

These BHM/FFA/BBW Issues are not unique to Dimensions and exist all over the Fat Community. I think that what is important is that Dimension right now is the Fairest place in Fat Acceptance and associated areas for BHM & FFA. All of Fat Acceptance could use a improvement on these issues not just Dimensions.

The short of it is that We should not throw the baby out with the bath water 

William




BLUEeyedBanshee said:


> This community is what we all make it...I suggest we do our best to keep it positive.
> 
> Just sayin.


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## BLUEeyedBanshee (May 9, 2008)

I agree wholeheartedly William. I think much should be done to improve and work toward obliteration of these issues. 

In many ways I feel that within fat acceptance/size acceptance BHM are seen as not having as big of problems fitting in with society or being accepted. I think this is because for a very long time, there was not a strong media push on the ideal male body like there is for the ideal female body. However, times are changing, there are more images of what the ideal male should be plastered everywhere. There are beauty products aimed at men, and dieting ads targeting men as well. (this is not at all brand new, I believe there have always been hints in advertising etc, but in recent years it has become much more aggressive.) Talking about what you guys are up against, the issues you have to deal with, the discrimination you face because of your size is definitely something that many folks don't think about. I'm certainly happy that this place exists so discussions can be had. 



However, I do think we should strive to be the change we want to see in the world. (sorry for bastardizing a quote here)


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## NancyGirl74 (May 9, 2008)

Hello, I hope I'm not out of line posting here. I'm Nancy and I'm a BHM forum lurker. I wouldn't call myself a FFA but (to paraphrase someone else's comment) 'I like me some mens of all shapes and sizes' so I've poked around here a time or two. After reading several of the comments, I have to say I'm kinda surprised. I never really thought of the BHM board as something set apart. To me it was just part of Dims. Then again I'm a member of the majority here, I'm a BBW. Perhaps I just never took notice of the subtle separation. There has been some hurting going on here at Dims lately and such times call for unity. The very last thing we should do is alienate our fat brothers. Whether we are on one side of the fence or the other I'd hate to see this turn into a kind of "us vs. them" thing. BBW or BHM we have one thing in common that brings us here...We are fat or we admire fat people. We are Dimensions. Ok, that sounded corny but basically it's true. At least I think so.


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## Pinstripes67 (May 9, 2008)

I gotta say... I haven't noticed this marginalization. Maybe it's me... but I have posted in other forums... and received as much if not more welcomes than this one. While I agree this forum is more... friendly..(and frankly to the point of condescension and sycophantry sometimes).. I havent seen the ostracization or marginalization that is being expressed here... 

Not to suggest that the OP of the thread that is being mentioned here (I assume its the Special Olympics one) was engaging in a bit of sophistry to prove a point, but I'm not sure what one would expect to be the response or general tone of response to that thread. While I wasn't personally offended, I can absolutely see how others would be.

I assume the self-perception of being shunned comes from somewhere, but I haven't experienced it on Dims.


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## Melian (May 9, 2008)

ripley said:


> I've always felt sort of unwelcome here, and now even more so.



Aw...this actually made me kind of sad. You're always welcome here and, like some of the men have said, most of them enjoy all sizes of women.

:bow:


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## LalaCity (May 9, 2008)

Erm, with all due respect, what you posted had nothing to do with being a BHM or FFA. It was a picture of a retarded kid with an insulting caption. They don't allow that sort of stuff here, doesn't matter who posts it.


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## Wild Zero (May 9, 2008)

If we're really going to make offensive analogies about our online community I'd say Dims as a whole is closer to a Bantustan than a first world power like China. There are enough problems facing size acceptance in mainstream media and we don't need to this community to fracture into ineffectual subsets. 

We're all fat or fat admirers here (sometimes both) and its pointless to limit yourself to one part of the community or carve that bit out for yourself. If you're felling isolated here try posting in the Lounge, great ice breaker, or share your views in Hyde Park.


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## Waxwing (May 9, 2008)

Wild Zero said:


> If you're felling isolated here try posting in the Lounge, great ice breaker, or share your views in Hyde Park.



Absolutely. Chris, even though your thread was deleted, at least more people from this board are coming onto the main board to talk.

So, come make more threads, post more opinions, and be more vocal!


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## out.of.habit (May 9, 2008)

NancyGirl74 said:


> Hello, I hope I'm not out of line posting here. I'm Nancy and I'm a BHM forum lurker. I wouldn't call myself a FFA but (to paraphrase someone else's comment) 'I like me some mens of all shapes and sizes' so I've poked around here a time or two. After reading several of the comments, I have to say I'm kinda surprised. I never really thought of the BHM board as something set apart. To me it was just part of Dims. Then again I'm a member of the majority here, I'm a BBW. Perhaps I just never took notice of the subtle separation. There has been some hurting going on here at Dims lately and such times call for unity. The very last thing we should do is alienate our fat brothers. Whether we are on one side of the fence or the other I'd hate to see this turn into a kind of "us vs. them" thing. BBW or BHM we have one thing in common that brings us here...We are fat or we admire fat people. We are Dimensions. Ok, that sounded corny but basically it's true. At least I think so.





Wild Zero said:


> If we're really going to make offensive analogies about our online community I'd say Dims as a whole is closer to a Bantustan than a first world power like China. There are enough problems facing size acceptance in mainstream media and we don't need to this community to fracture into ineffectual subsets.
> 
> We're all fat or fat admirers here (sometimes both) and its pointless to limit yourself to one part of the community or carve that bit out for yourself. If you're felling isolated here try posting in the Lounge, great ice breaker, or share your views in Hyde Park.





Waxwing said:


> Absolutely. Chris, even though your thread was deleted, at least more people from this board are coming onto the main board to talk.
> 
> So, come make more threads, post more opinions, and be more vocal!



Really good points here. Like Nancy, I'm occasionally a lurker in this board as well, and like Ripley, haven't really been sure how to carve a space for myself among everyone here. But that's on me. You can't know me if I don't post here. 
I'd like to see everyone here out on the rest of the boards more, and if you don't mind I'd like to post here a little more as well. It'd be awesome if we could get to know one another better, not only for the progress of the social movement, but also because I think we've got a lot of good to share with each other.


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## cute_obese_girl (May 10, 2008)

Personally, I feel comfortable joining in on any of the boards here at DIMs. I am a SSBBW and an FFA so why not partake in both sections? I enjoy them and feel equally comfortable in either situation. 

I can understand why some SS/BBWs may just feel more comfortable on the Main board because they know where they stand there. That board is for us women and the men who admire us. But the thing about the BHM board is that the focus is and should be on the men. If you admire BHMs either exclusively or in addition to average size men you belong here too. True some of the men prefer thin women, but I've never been treated badly because of it. All the men here seem perfectly happy to engage in conversation with all types of women.


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## cammy (May 14, 2008)

cammy said:


> Actually, this thread doesn't say anything that hasn't been said before - perhaps the words are a bit more extreme, but the thought is the same. We, of this board, know our place is here and only here - we are not welcomed elsewhere on DIMS. Many of us, with good intensions have posted on other boards and been blatantly, and sometimes even rudely, tossed to the curb - makes it sort of difficult to truly embrace the plight of "the others."





missaf said:


> If you don't feel welcome or feel this community doesn't suit your needs, go find another place. Otherwise, make it what you want it to be or shut up.



LMAO

*****************


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## Smite (May 14, 2008)

Gotta love DIMs.


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## persimmon (May 15, 2008)

missaf said:


> If you don't feel welcome or feel this community doesn't suit your needs, go find another place. Otherwise, make it what you want it to be or shut up.



I find this both hostile and flabbergasting. Change cannot occur without a discussion of what must change, and how. People cannot determine what their needs are, or whether this place fulfills them, without public examination of these topics which you seem to find inappropriate for discussion here.


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## William (May 15, 2008)

Hi Ripley

I always thought that BBWs and SSBBWs were a main part of the BHM/FFA Board and that their appreciation of BHM always seemed special to me being a BHM.

William





ripley said:


> I've never posted to the BHM/FFA board (that I recall) but up until now I've kind of envied it. I read here sometimes, and it seemed like a calm oasis at Dims, where people got along.
> 
> I've always felt sort of unwelcome here, and now even more so. I am a SSBBW, and it seems like big men like thin women, overall. I like a lot of the BHM and FFA I have met on the other boards. I had no idea you felt this way, or that you felt you were marginalized.
> 
> ...


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## Paquito (May 15, 2008)

I have decided not to shower until the BHMs and FFAs are free :happy:


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## Laz (May 15, 2008)

Wow, I go away for a few hours and all kinds of stuff breaks loose. I didn't see whatever started all of this, but I read something about a pic of a retarded kid with an unkind caption. That's no more appropriate than a pic of a fat guy/gal with an insulting caption. Doesn't matter who posted it.

On another note, as a new member here (I joined because of the BHM/FFA part of the board) I have felt welcome from the beginning. All of the posts I read made it seem like pretty much anyone was welcome here, regardless of size, color, beliefs, whatever. I haven't made it out to the other boards yet, but I'll get there eventually.

I love this place, it makes me feel even better about being who I am. It's like it reinforces what I have known all along.

Sorry, I get pedantic at times, I'll stop rambling now. :blush:


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## Observer (May 15, 2008)

Quick and simple, the Dimensions Library welcomes FFA's and BHMs - I'm even one of the latter myself according to my wife. We even have an archival forum of BHM/FFA stories - many written by FFAs.

Evry story allows comment by readers.

To the best of my knowledge we've never rejected a reader yet. And we've modified very few comments.

Point of the above: sorry, but anyone who thinks this is the only place in the Dimensions community where BHMs can fit in hasn't explored enough.


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## Hawksmoor (May 16, 2008)

Wild Zero said:


> We're all fat or fat admirers here (sometimes both) and its pointless to limit yourself to one part of the community or carve that bit out for yourself. If you're felling isolated here try posting in the Lounge, great ice breaker, or share your views in Hyde Park.



Perhaps some people just aren't cognizant of how hostile they are being. I was directly insulted in Hyde Park for expressing my views and was essentially called racist, which I'm far from. I've primarily lurked in the three years I've been a member, and what I've observed is a lot of very reactionary, intolerant people. I'd go as far as to say clique-ish. However, this seems to be the case with online forums in general. It's probably because the degree of safety and relative anonymity afforded by online communication emboldens people to say things and behave in ways they probably wouldn't in a face to face situation. Nature of the beast I guess.


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## daddyoh70 (May 16, 2008)

I fail to see the analogy, but always willing to help.. here ya go


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## LillyBBBW (May 16, 2008)

free2beme04 said:


> I have decided not to shower until the BHMs and FFAs are free :happy:



FREE!?!?! They're worth at least a stinkin' dinner and a movie for crying out loud. Shees.


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## charlieversion2 (May 16, 2008)

daddyoh70 said:


> I fail to see the analogy, but always willing to help.. here ya go



This shall be our banner!


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