# Plea to fat women



## collared Princess (Jan 2, 2012)

So it has taken me a while to realize this ..I'm sure this thread may be deleted or for sure met with duhh..but I wish someone would have posted this for me to read a few years ago..
In every community you have good and bad people but I have noticed a strange trend among feeders,squashers , those into vore..any type of fat fetish..
So many men send me message's all the time..do they say hey I'd love to get to know you.No it is immediately what I can do for them..
There is nothing wrong with having a fetish and seeking out someone who is able to give you that pleasure but guys..how about looking for a wife or a serious relationship instead of wanting to just use someone for their fat..
Fellow Ssbbw's bbw's especially web models who make alot of money on these men please don't sell your self short..in time you will find that you feel empty..
Men ( not all there are some great FA's out there) but men please start having more respect for yourself and for the fat women you love


----------



## LovelyLiz (Jan 3, 2012)

Agreed - I'm all for fat women asking to be treated well and respected as human beings in their relationships and hope that all fat women can realize that.

But I'm confused - if someone is a web model or otherwise making money by way of publicly sharing explicit or sexual photos or videos that viewers want to see, it just makes sense that someone would contact that person asking her to do something that would meet their desires/fetishes, since that is what the person is already doing.

Or am I missing something?


----------



## Grundsau 11 (Jan 3, 2012)

That selfsame type of SOB has always been "out for whatever they can get"; only difference is that now theb------s hunt/prey farther due to the Web... GOOD FER YOU! All that they accomplish is is to help good guys say NUTS! & give up...


----------



## collared Princess (Jan 3, 2012)

mcbeth said:


> Agreed - I'm all for fat women asking to be treated well and respected as human beings in their relationships and hope that all fat women can realize that.
> 
> But I'm confused - if someone is a web model or otherwise making money by way of publicly sharing explicit or sexual photos or videos that viewers want to see, it just makes sense that someone would contact that person asking her to do something that would meet their desires/fetishes, since that is what the person is already doing.
> 
> Or am I missing something?



Yes you are correct ..I've walked away from that lifestyle and now I'm left a broken person so I wanted to share this so any woman who maybe walking that same path can understand how devastated you maybe at the end of the day..also for the men who'd use women like myself how wrong it is.. That's all


----------



## Magic8 (Jan 3, 2012)

I really appreciate this thread  

As far as the web model issue, I think the point is that women who are web models are also people. I work as a cam girl very occasionally and I am very rarely spoken to like a human being. It took me a long time to realize that I have the right to demand that these men be respecful of me even though they are there only for my body. I also had a break through when I realized that I also had the right to turn down requests from boyfriends/friends that began with "but those guys on the internet get to see you naked" or "you're willing to do that for strangers who pay you but not for me?" or "so everything is about money to you? Well I'm not willing to pay for you." I could go on lol I've heard it all.


----------



## LovelyLiz (Jan 3, 2012)

collared Princess said:


> Yes you are correct ..I've walked away from that lifestyle and now I'm left a broken person so I wanted to share this so any woman who maybe walking that same path can understand how devastated you maybe at the end of the day..also for the men who'd use women like myself how wrong it is.. That's all



Oh ok, I see. Hope your new path brings healing where it's needed. Take care.


----------



## CleverBomb (Jan 3, 2012)

mcbeth said:


> Agreed - I'm all for fat women asking to be treated well and respected as human beings in their relationships and hope that all fat women can realize that.
> 
> But I'm confused - if someone is a web model or otherwise making money by way of publicly sharing explicit or sexual photos or videos that viewers want to see, it just makes sense that someone would contact that person asking her to do something that would meet their desires/fetishes, since that is what the person is already doing.
> 
> Or am I missing something?


This does not justify non-clients in objectifying her, but does mean it should not be a surprise that it happens. A performer's outward persona usually involves exhibitionism and an apparent tolerance/enthusiasm for a wide variety of out-of-the-ordinary fetishes. What gets missed by the guys that she is complaining about, is that there is a difference between that persona and who she really is when she is not performing.

Clients are a different case, as they are actually purchasing either the illusion of intimacy or the privilege of objectification (or some combination thereof). From them, there should be no expectation of a serious relationship -- the nature of the transaction makes it very difficult for either participant to understand what is being bought, what is being sold, and what, if anything, is being given for free. 

-Rusty
</verbose mode>

Edit to add: long reply, did not see the posts following the one quoted until after posting.
Second edit: and yeah, I can see where this thread might get vanished (not saying it's likely, just plausible.)


----------



## Luv2CUfeast (Jan 3, 2012)

There are many kinds of hunger, Donna - and I think sometimes we confuse one for another. 

I wish you the best of luck in your new direction, and hope you find both peace and fulfillment in putting your family first. There is nothing more satisfying than love.


----------



## joswitch (Jan 3, 2012)

collared Princess said:


> So it has taken me a while to realize this ..*snip*
> Fellow Ssbbw's bbw's especially web models who make alot of money on these men please don't sell your self short..in time you will find that you feel empty..
> Men ( not all there are some great FA's out there) but men please start having more respect for yourself and for the fat women you love



Ugh. Hands up if you saw this coming.

A few years back Donna was posting over at FF complaining at great length about how she did not have enough money to buy as much food as she wanted, so she could gain weight - as SHE wanted. 
(All those posts may still be on there somewhere, altho' FF doesn't archive and search like DIMs does.)
Donna explained in verrrry lengthy posts how *her desires to eat very large amounts and gain dated right back to her childhood* and to how her mother, and later her step-mother behaved in terms of giving or denying her food. She made a big deal about how* this lack of money for (lots of) food was a cause of great unhappiness & frustration for HER*. Donna was single when she made those posts.

Then Donna met her most recent fella and got involved in a welter of "Want to be Fattest" publicity etc. and made $$ out of that.

Now she and fella have split. Donna continues to pursue fame and cash through the media, this time by going for the profitable $Weight-Loss and $Man-Blame dollar. Denying her own life history, choices and desires, and making out that she was some helpless victim of a sinister "fat fetish community" of evil menz. Puh-leeze. Not even close.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2080369/Donna-Simpson-Worlds-heaviest-mother-reveals-long-journey-fat-fetish-videos-healthy-life.html

I've never been a Donna fan, yet I wish her no ill. However, I can't have any respect, at all, for anyone (man or woman) who takes no responsibility for themselves and their own life choices (& consequences thereof).

In Donna's case she's trying to blame the evil menz for sending her all those $$$, whilst simultaneously crying up another river of $$$ off the back of that man-blaming & shaming. :doh:

Woman up Donna. You are an adult. You CHOSE your path to get where you are today. OK, you changed your mind about what you want to do now. Fine! that's your choice too. Good luck to you. Just quit trying to pass the buck! FFS!


----------



## Marlayna (Jan 3, 2012)

It's simply not our place to judge. I wish her luck and good health.


----------



## joswitch (Jan 3, 2012)

Marlayna said:


> It's simply not our place to judge. I wish her luck and good health.



I don't judge Donna's life choices. Good luck to her with those. Whatever she chooses.

I judge Donna for trying to blame others for her own choices.


----------



## Cors (Jan 3, 2012)

Good luck with your journey, Donna. 

Kudos to you for sharing your painful lessons learned, knowing that doing so opens you up to criticism and blame instead of slipping away quietly into the shadows, wrecked with shame and guilt like many others before you.


----------



## bigsexy920 (Jan 3, 2012)

It didnt seem to me like she was BLAMING anyone. It sounded like she was putting out a heads up to others who may follow the same path she once did. And asking that people who contact others should maybe do it in a more respectful way.


----------



## Marlayna (Jan 3, 2012)

joswitch said:


> I don't judge Donna's life choices. Good luck to her with those. Whatever she chooses.
> 
> I judge Donna for trying to blame others for her own choices.


It was an informative article, so thanks for posting it. I thought it was interesting that she tried to lose weight by trying the "crackhead" diet, but it didn't work.:doh:
I know what you're saying about blaming others, but "others" are part of her problem, so maybe they should bear some of it. I have compassion for her.


----------



## joswitch (Jan 3, 2012)

bigsexy920 said:


> It didnt seem to me like she was BLAMING anyone. It sounded like she was putting out a heads up to others who may follow the same path she once did. And asking that people who contact others should maybe do it in a more respectful way.



Suggestion: read what she also says in the article, linked above.


----------



## Angel (Jan 3, 2012)

collared Princess said:


> men please start having more respect for yourself and for the fat women you love



We cannot change or control how others act. We cannot control how others treat us. We can ask for respect and try to tell someone (or others) how we would like to be treated. That doesn't mean that they will follow through. The one thing we can do is have respect for ourselves. We need to love ourself first and foremost; that means making our own physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being a priority. Sometimes that involves removing ourselves from situations, circumstances, or environments that may be detrimental to our personal well-being or health. Sometimes we may have to completely turn our back on and walk away from toxic environments or away from sources of constant negativity. That negativity can be a person or persons.

Dr. Phil says that we teach others how to treat us. If we want respect, we must first have respect for ourselves. How we present ourselves, how we conduct ourselves, the things we say, what we encourage, what we permit, what we tolerate, all greatly influences how others perceive us. People respond in kind to the persona we create for ourselves. 

If you add the modeling, acting, or any adult related services, I think someone would need to maintain very distinct set of personal boundries so that the individual does not allow themselves to become the created persona; or to be seen as one and the same. 





collared Princess said:


> Yes you are correct ..I've walked away from that lifestyle and now I'm left a broken person so I wanted to share this so any woman who maybe walking that same path can understand how devastated you maybe at the end of the day..also for the men who'd use women like myself how wrong it is.. That's all



Walking away from a lifestyle takes determination and disassociation. For some that means no dabbling whatsoever; no blaming others or ourself; recognizing our own part in what transpired; and understanding why we ever went there to begin with.

There are men who use women; and women who use men. When a mutual agreement is entered into, or when bartering for goods or services is involved, that is an upfront deal of sorts. Again, both parties need to be completely aware of and abide by the distinction between 'one's personal life' and 'modeling, and etc.' The 'model' or 'entertainer' or 'webmaster' would be the one (in my opinion) to set the boundries for whatever services are being offered. In personal relationships, yeah, sometimes people get used and taken advantage of; and end up with a broken heart. 


It sounds like you are going through a mourning like process. Part of the mourning process is anger. Take time to think things through so that the anger is directed properly towards those who inflicted the wounds. "Directed properly" doesn't mean lashing out physically but more of working through something on an emotional level. Even if you feel like you have been used, hurt, or have had your heart broken, it doesn't mean that you are left a "broken person". Maybe your heart has been wounded or shattered, but you're not forever broken. 

You know where true healing begins.


----------



## bigsexy920 (Jan 4, 2012)

You linked the article - not her. I know what her views were I know her. Ive met her, Ive talked with her face to face. What she is saying in her post may not reflect what she has said in the past but people sometimes have changes of heart. And some people will not. 

I'm only commenting on her post here and now. But thanks for the suggestion. 



joswitch said:


> Suggestion: read what she also says in the article, linked above.


----------



## joswitch (Jan 4, 2012)

Marlayna said:


> It was an informative article, so thanks for posting it. I thought it was interesting that she tried to lose weight by trying the "crackhead" diet, but it didn't work.:doh:


Yeah that sounded like BS to me, "I didn't get addicted, it just made me clean my house" = exactly the description I've read of speed / amphetamine / old fashioned slimming pills. Maybe someone sold / gave her speed and told her it was crack. Either way, wtf!? :doh: 


> I know what you're saying about blaming others, but "others" are part of her problem, so maybe they should bear some of it.


I'll agree to differ with you on that point.


> I have compassion for her.



Nothing wrong with that, at all.


----------



## bigmac (Jan 4, 2012)

I'm thinking Donna's missing a very basic point. If you choose to make usually private things public you better have thick skin.


----------



## Dromond (Jan 4, 2012)

Just because someone is/was a webmodel, doesn't mean they give up the right to be treated with dignity and respect. Maybe she shouldn't be surprised at how she gets approached, but that doesn't make it right.


----------



## bigmac (Jan 4, 2012)

Dromond said:


> Just because someone is/was a webmodel, doesn't mean they give up the right to be treated with dignity and respect. Maybe she shouldn't be surprised at how she gets approached, but that doesn't make it right.



I agree that people should always be treated with respect. Unfortunately the world is full of asses. When you seek the public's attention you better be prepared to deal with asses. It may not be right or fair but I don't see things changing anytime soon.


----------



## Webmaster (Jan 4, 2012)

I would change the avatar.


----------



## KHayes666 (Jan 4, 2012)

Trying crack to lose weight.....really? REALLY!!??


----------



## collared Princess (Jan 4, 2012)

Webmaster said:


> I would change the avatar.



I cant my computer is broken I'm on my I pod or I would but then again what's wrong with someone in a bikini


----------



## collared Princess (Jan 4, 2012)

Webmaster said:


> I would change the avatar.





KHayes666 said:


> Trying crack to lose weight.....really? REALLY!!??



Yes really really also looked for a tape worm I was 22 also I think out of the box as everyone knows so yep I did...


----------



## collared Princess (Jan 4, 2012)

Please note I'm not talking about your average FA..


----------



## collared Princess (Jan 4, 2012)

Cors said:


> Good luck with your journey, Donna.
> 
> Kudos to you for sharing your painful lessons learned, knowing that doing so opens you up to criticism and blame instead of slipping away quietly into the shadows, wrecked with shame and guilt like many others before you.



Thank you so much !!


----------



## ConnieLynn (Jan 4, 2012)

I don't usually comment on web modeling, but can't pass this one without presenting a different viewpoint from the OP.

I did the web model thing for a year a few years ago. It was profitable at a time when I needed the money, but also a lot of hard work, especially once I had another full time job. I didn't do it looking for love, acceptance, or someone to take care of me. I did it for $$$, and I approached it as a job. I have to think that most web models do the same, because it's too much damn work to do for other reasons.

I set my standards based on who I am and my comfort level. I never posted any photos geared towards what I think of as the fat fetish stereotypes. Nothing against it, that's just not me and wasn't how I wanted to present myself. So no eating, gaining, squashing, chair breaking, stuckage, too tight clothes - just lots of lush, fat, nakedness. And I quickly found out that there are a whole lot of FAs out there happy to sign up to admire pretty fatness without all the other stuff. Also, I can honestly say that I never received any messages that I considered disrespectful and I never felt like I sold my fat soul. 

I own myself, my body, and control the image I present to the world. If I don't like how the world responds back, I have two choices: 1) Ignore them, 2) Re-evaluate the image I'm presenting.

I still post pictures of my naked backside on Dims now and then, because it's fun and I'm a flirt and a tease  And I can still say that all the messages I receive are respectful. 

Let's not paint all FAs, or all fetishists, with a 'user' label. People respond to what you put out there. If you don't like the response, change the message you are sending. 





collared Princess said:


> So it has taken me a while to realize this ..I'm sure this thread may be deleted or for sure met with duhh..but I wish someone would have posted this for me to read a few years ago..
> In every community you have good and bad people but I have noticed a strange trend among feeders,squashers , those into vore..any type of fat fetish..
> So many men send me message's all the time..do they say hey I'd love to get to know you.No it is immediately what I can do for them..
> There is nothing wrong with having a fetish and seeking out someone who is able to give you that pleasure but guys..how about looking for a wife or a serious relationship instead of wanting to just use someone for their fat..
> ...


----------



## chicken legs (Jan 5, 2012)

collared Princess said:


> So it has taken me a while to realize this ..I'm sure this thread may be deleted or for sure met with duhh..but I wish someone would have posted this for me to read a few years ago..
> In every community you have good and bad people but I have noticed a strange trend among feeders,squashers , those into vore..any type of fat fetish..
> So many men send me message's all the time..do they say hey I'd love to get to know you.No it is immediately what I can do for them..
> There is nothing wrong with having a fetish and seeking out someone who is able to give you that pleasure but guys..how about looking for a wife or a serious relationship instead of wanting to just use someone for their fat..
> ...



Try looking for love in the right places. Places that are geared toward "adults" are bound to be teaming with freaks off the leash. I should know, because I grew up in city known for freaks off the leash. A old friend (even family members) used to always get her panties in a bunch over guys we met in the club and it never resulted in a decent relationship. I would always advise against it but it fell on deaf hears. I went to clubs to dance my ass off and release stress, not meet guys and I always had a good time. 

So good luck in finding love outside of hypersexual environments.


----------



## Tracyarts (Jan 5, 2012)

" So many men send me message's all the time..do they say hey I'd love to get to know you.No it is immediately what I can do for them.. "

That's when you redirect the conversation. Ask them what the weather's like where they're at. Ask if they've seen the new big blockbuster movie that just premiered. Ask them if they've got any big weekend plans coming up. 
I can guarantee you that after a few exchanges of superficial small talk, at least 75% of them will either stop responding or get even more aggressive with their demands. Those are the no-brainers. Click, delete, block, move on... Also, where are these men coming from? How are they finding you? What image are you presenting to them in you profile, associated with your screenname, etc...? 

" Fellow Ssbbw's bbw's especially web models who make alot of money on these men please don't sell your self short..in time you will find that you feel empty.. "

Part of the problem there is when models and other sex industry workers start thinking of the people who are paying to look at them as something more than a customer purchasing a product. Especially if they are involved in a social scene or subculture where their customer base and dating pool overlaps. That creates a disconnect between fantasy and reality. 

Another part of the problem is when women put too much out there. And that covers a lot of bases. Giving just because you're asked. Giving in hopes that you'll get something in return. Allowing yourself to become emotionally invested in a one-way situation. Giving so much that you need something in return to balance things out. If you don't treat yourself like and present yourself like something that effort has to be made for, you make yourself into something that's easy to have, easy to use, and easy to discard. 

" I've walked away from that lifestyle and now I'm left a broken person so I wanted to share this so any woman who maybe walking that same path can understand how devastated you maybe at the end of the day "

You have to make sure you stay away from it too. The people, the websites, the chat rooms, etc... If you so much as dip your toes back in it, you can get sucked right back into the bad place you walked away from. Creating a healthier life means being ruthless in who and what you cut out of your life. First you have to do it to avoid the immediate triggers. But eventually you will come to understand that those things and people just don't appeal to you anymore. It's never just the one thing you're trying to avoid, there is a whole dynamic that supports the dysfunction. 

When I decided that I was ready to create a healthier and happier life for myself, I first tried to simply avoid the triggers without walking away altogether. I stopped dining with the compulsive bingers and food addicts who just wanted me to do food with them. I stopped spending idle time with the drama whores who just wanted me to gossip, trash-talk, and create drama with them. I also stopped going shopping with the compulsive spenders who just wanted me to blow money with them. But I found that those people (and related social scenes) were all about the dysfunction. The eaters just wanted to eat, the drama whores just wanted to create drama, and the spenders just wanted to spend. Without the dysfunctional behavior, there wasn't much of anything left. Certainly not enough to hang around for. Sometimes when I'm bored I think maybe I'll go to one of these events, or maybe I'll look one of those people up? But those thoughts don't last long. I remember why I walked away in the first place.

Tracy


----------



## Mindee (Jan 5, 2012)

Marlayna said:


> It's simply not our place to judge.


Yeah, you can. Some things are wrong, and they are always wrong. Smoking crack to "lose some pounds" is VERY wrong. Smoking crack is wrong period. This woman claims to be worrying about her children and then is smoking crack to lose weight. I'm sorry, that's full out wrong, and if I were her, I'd be damned careful about publishing that all over the internet before she's explaining herself to her state's Child Protective Services Division. How about a visit to a doctor or a competent therapist? If you can afford crack, you can afford a visit to a health professional.


----------



## tonynyc (Jan 5, 2012)

Another issue to consider is the media - cause some of these "folks" can be your worse enemy...


----------



## collared Princess (Jan 5, 2012)

Mindee said:


> Yeah, you can. Some things are wrong, and they are always wrong. Smoking crack to "lose some pounds" is VERY wrong. Smoking crack is wrong period. This woman claims to be worrying about her children and then is smoking crack to lose weight. I'm sorry, that's full out wrong, and if I were her, I'd be damned careful about publishing that all over the internet before she's explaining herself to her state's Child Protective Services Division. How about a visit to a doctor or a competent therapist? If you can afford crack, you can afford a visit to a health professional.



Humm you mean that they can take my kids away for something I did 7 years before I conceived my first child? They are getting really crazy these days...


----------



## FA Punk (Jan 5, 2012)

You've never tacken any personal responsibility for your own actions yet you feel you can give others some type of ''warning''? Donna it doesn't take a genius to figure out how not to follow in the same foot steps you have, whoring yourself out to the media any chance you had, making a mockery of yourself and this community in the process, and for what, 15mins of fame?

The best advice I can give you Donna is to leave this place, leave the FA/BBW community all together, now I say this not out of spite or hatred(I feel nothing for you) but the sheer fact if you want to get better and not feel as ''empty'' inside then you need to cut off what is making you feel so ''empty''.


----------



## collared Princess (Jan 5, 2012)

FA Punk said:


> You've never tacken any personal responsibility for your own actions yet you feel you can give others some type of ''warning''? Donna it doesn't take a genius to figure out how not to follow in the same foot steps you have, whoring yourself out to the media any chance you had, making a mockery of yourself and this community in the process, and for what, 15mins of fame?
> 
> The best advice I can give you Donna is to leave this place, leave the FA/BBW community all together, now I say this not out of spite or hatred(I feel nothing for you) but the sheer fact if you want to get better and not feel as ''empty'' inside then you need to cut off what is making you feel so ''empty''.



I've already made a statement on my web site and to the world that I take full responsibility for the choices I've made...I am only pointing out to young women or women considering this choice that it will leave you empty..also pointing out to men who have specific fetishes maybe it would be a great idea to find a woman who imbodies your fetish and form a real personal relationship where you wouldn't have to chase your fetish..you would wake up to your fetish..also I haven't made a mockery out of the bbw scene only the feeder/feedee scene..the 2are separate ...I think I stay right here thank you


----------



## collared Princess (Jan 5, 2012)

FA Punk said:


> You've never tacken any personal responsibility for your own actions yet you feel you can give others some type of ''warning''? Donna it doesn't take a genius to figure out how not to follow in the same foot steps you have, whoring yourself out to the media any chance you had, making a mockery of yourself and this community in the process, and for what, 15mins of fame?
> 
> The best advice I can give you Donna is to leave this place, leave the FA/BBW community all together, now I say this not out of spite or hatred(I feel nothing for you) but the sheer fact if you want to get better and not feel as ''empty'' inside then you need to cut off what is making you feel so ''empty''.



Also please define 15 minutes of fame...


----------



## Marlayna (Jan 5, 2012)

collared Princess said:


> I've already made a statement on my web site and to the world that I take full responsibility for the choices I've made...I am only pointing out to young women or women considering this choice that it will leave you empty..also pointing out to men who have specific fetishes maybe it would be a great idea to find a woman who imbodies your fetish and form a real personal relationship where you wouldn't have to chase your fetish..you would wake up to your fetish..also I haven't made a mockery out of the bbw scene only the feeder/feedee scene..the 2are separate ...I think I stay right here thank you


The sex business isn't as glamorous as it may seem, so I think it's a good thing that you're pointing it out. Women need to know that although the fantasy may be fabulous, the reality can leave you with a big empty hole... no pun intended.
As far as the feeder scene goes, I do enough damage on my own, the last thing I'd embrace is a feeder... but I can understand the allure.:smitten:
I haven't been here long, so I hope I haven't offended anyone.


----------



## Dromond (Jan 5, 2012)

Marlayna, it doesn't take much to offend someone around here. It's part of the Dims experience, so don't worry too much about it.


----------



## FA Punk (Jan 6, 2012)

collared Princess said:


> I've already made a statement on my web site and to the world that I take full responsibility for the choices I've made...I am only pointing out to young women or women considering this choice that it will leave you empty..also pointing out to men who have specific fetishes maybe it would be a great idea to find a woman who imbodies your fetish and form a real personal relationship where you wouldn't have to chase your fetish..you would wake up to your fetish..also I haven't made a mockery out of the bbw scene only the feeder/feedee scene..the 2are separate ...I think I stay right here thank you



Frankly all you've done is take advantage of a very bad situation that you yourself let get way out of hand, nothing more and nothing less, but still you feel you can share some wisdom on this matter? Upsurd.

Donna we have about a half dozen girls in there mid-twenties pushing over 450lbs posting in the paysite forum as we speak, Donna you worry about other women following down your path right? Well I hate to inform you that in some sense were already there, it's like trying to fire a warning shot after you've emptied out the whole clip lol, you honestly believe you can reach anyone after what you've pulled?

I have my doubts, now granted I don't believe every paysite girl wants to be a media whoring, walking freak show like yourself, that continues to play victim. And your wrong you did make a mockery of both ''scenes'' since to most people on the ouside looking in can't tell the difference between the two.


----------



## Marlayna (Jan 6, 2012)

Dromond said:


> Marlayna, it doesn't take much to offend someone around here. It's part of the Dims experience, so don't worry too much about it.


Good to know, thanks.


----------



## Marlayna (Jan 6, 2012)

BTW, experience is the best teacher, and we all have something to learn from each other.


----------



## collared Princess (Jan 6, 2012)

FA Punk said:


> Frankly all you've done is take advantage of a very bad situation that you yourself let get way out of hand, nothing more and nothing less, but still you feel you can share some wisdom on this matter? Upsurd.
> 
> Donna we have about a half dozen girls in there mid-twenties pushing over 450lbs posting in the paysite forum as we speak, Donna you worry about other women following down your path right? Well I hate to inform you that in some sense were already there, it's like trying to fire a warning shot after you've emptied out the whole clip lol, you honestly believe you can reach anyone after what you've pulled?
> 
> ...




My foot steps are now ordered by a different MASTER..so what you think of any direction I choose to take from here on out makes no difference to me..


----------



## Dromond (Jan 6, 2012)

Marlayna said:


> Good to know, thanks.



All part of the service, ma'am. *tips hat*


----------



## Blackhawk2293 (Jan 6, 2012)

FA Punk said:


> Frankly all you've done is take advantage of a very bad situation that you yourself let get way out of hand, nothing more and nothing less, but still you feel you can share some wisdom on this matter? Upsurd.
> 
> Donna we have about a half dozen girls in there mid-twenties pushing over 450lbs posting in the paysite forum as we speak, Donna you worry about other women following down your path right? Well I hate to inform you that in some sense were already there, it's like trying to fire a warning shot after you've emptied out the whole clip lol, you honestly believe you can reach anyone after what you've pulled?
> 
> I have my doubts, now granted I don't believe every paysite girl wants to be a media whoring, walking freak show like yourself, that continues to play victim. And your wrong you did make a mockery of both ''scenes'' since to most people on the ouside looking in can't tell the difference between the two.



Although I do not agree with you attacking Donna personally, your last point about the general public is a good one. 

To most average everyday fat-fearing folks and the mainstream media, there is no difference between the FA/BBW community and the Feeder/Feedee one. It is an unfortunate reality that Donna's well intentioned public statements will easily be twisted to make us all look like the worst kind of deviants.


----------



## collared Princess (Jan 6, 2012)

Blackhawk2293 said:


> Although I do not agree with you attacking Donna personally, your last point about the general public is a good one.
> 
> To most average everyday fat-fearing folks and the mainstream media, there is no difference between the FA/BBW community and the Feeder/Feedee one. It is an unfortunate reality that Donna's well intentioned public statements will easily be twisted to make us all look like the worst kind of deviants.



When I read all the comments people write most people are pretty tolerant now a days..alot of men come out and say I like a bigger woman but Donna is way to fat for me..most women say if she can have a child and find men so can I..it's the stupid immature young guys who like to bash everybody talk about FA's bad..I try to explain that Federizm is just a niche within the community ....


----------



## Blackhawk2293 (Jan 6, 2012)

collared Princess said:


> When I read all the comments people write most people are pretty tolerant now a days..alot of men come out and say I like a bigger woman but Donna is way to fat for me..most women say if she can have a child and find men so can I..it's the stupid immature young guys who like to bash everybody talk about FA's bad..I try to explain that Federizm is just a niche within the community ....



I guess in the end there are always going to be prejudiced people, whether it's against fat people, gay people, black people, asian people, refugees, women etc

I do hope you're able to get the message across that we're not all deviants because whenever I see articles on the news that has anything to do with FAs we all seem to be painted as dysfunctional... 

...and that's not fair to those of us that had to earn our dysfunctionality through our childhoods, broken relationships etc! LOL!!


----------



## truebebeblue (Jan 6, 2012)

Most women are not cut out for the adult industry unfortunately they do not figure it out until they are already involved and further damage is done. You won't find self esteem that you are lacking and people tend to be able to feel your intention,if you are desperate (for love,attention,money) they know it and will exploit you because you are in a compromised situation and ALLOW it.


----------



## Mindee (Jan 6, 2012)

truebebeblue said:


> Most women are not cut out for the adult industry unfortunately they do not figure it out until they are already involved and further damage is done. You won't find self esteem that you are lacking and people tend to be able to feel your intention,if you are desperate (for love,attention,money) they know it and will exploit you because you are in a compromised situation and ALLOW it.


I have done everything from websites to paid hardcore porn, and I would agree with you 100%. No woman should get into the adult sex biz unless she has her head on VERY straight. Unfortunately most of the women I have encountered in the adult biz aren't even close to having their head on straight. I've met a few who are very focused and sharp like Kelly Shibari, but most of them have gotten into porn, (and yes, kiddies, these websites advertised here on Dims are porn sites, no matter what way you try to sugar coat it) for every wrong reason and they get further messed up than they already are. I always liked what I did. I have no regrets, but I knew exactly what I was doing when I got involved. About 90% of the women who head down that path haven't a clue, and they end up as trainwrecks. Agree with you 100%, honey!

XO
Mindee


----------



## gangstadawg (Jan 6, 2012)

Dromond said:


> Marlayna, it doesn't take much to offend someone around here. It's part of the Dims experience, so don't worry too much about it.



really it doesnt take much. seriously people here can get offended by stuff that was never meant to be insulting remotly. kinda like saying hello to someone and getting a F**k you back in response.


----------



## collared Princess (Jan 7, 2012)

Mindee said:


> I have done everything from websites to paid hardcore porn, and I would agree with you 100%. No woman should get into the adult sex biz unless she has her head on VERY straight. Unfortunately most of the women I have encountered in the adult biz aren't even close to having their head on straight. I've met a few who are very focused and sharp like Kelly Shibari, but most of them have gotten into porn, (and yes, kiddies, these websites advertised here on Dims are porn sites, no matter what way you try to sugar coat it) for every wrong reason and they get further messed up than they already are. I always liked what I did. I have no regrets, but I knew exactly what I was doing when I got involved. About 90% of the women who head down that path haven't a clue, and they end up as trainwrecks. Agree with you 100%, honey!
> 
> XO
> Mindee




I agree 100% I was ok with it all untill I became single,devastated from my break up and all the changes I needed to make..I just needed a shoulder and I soon realized (even though I changed my web site) I was still the fetish model ..that's why I wanted to post this..women may not realize this is how it is..


----------



## Rowan (Jan 7, 2012)

Good god...a new master....here comes the bdsm focused media whoring now...:doh::doh:


----------



## CleverBomb (Jan 7, 2012)

Rowan said:


> Good god...a new master....here comes the bdsm focused media whoring now...:doh::doh:


Perhaps she's obliquely noting that she's found religion?

-Rusty


----------



## FA Punk (Jan 7, 2012)

collared Princess said:


> My foot steps are now ordered by a different *MASTER*..so what you think of any direction I choose to take from here on out makes no difference to me..



Something to blame so you can still play victim


----------



## collared Princess (Jan 7, 2012)

CleverBomb said:


> Perhaps she's obliquely noting that she's found religion?
> 
> -Rusty



BINGO you have always been a very smart man
I've always had religion in my life until I moved to NJ ...I'm just getting back to who I really am with lots of help from my Pastor and his wife and my whole church family.


----------



## collared Princess (Jan 7, 2012)

Rowan said:


> Good god...a new master....here comes the bdsm focused media whoring now...:doh::doh:



Yes he is a Good GOD


----------



## joswitch (Jan 7, 2012)

Rowan said:


> Good god...a new master....here comes the bdsm focused media whoring now...:doh::doh:



Betcha 50cents Donna the new master she is referring to = god.


----------



## joswitch (Jan 7, 2012)

collared Princess said:


> BINGO you have always been a very smart man
> I've always had religion in my life until I moved to NJ ...I'm just getting back to who I really am with lots of help from my Pastor and his wife and my whole church family.



I am Jack's utter lack of surprise.


----------



## Mindee (Jan 7, 2012)

You can see what's coming up now can't you folks? The world's prime attention seeker will now be showing up with the various TV preachers telling all about her "amazing' conversion and speaking about all the ills of porn and gluttony and on and on and on. 

Donna, you are an intellectual fraud much in the same mold as Linda Lovelace. When Linda dropped out of porn she wrote the fradulent book "Ordeal" telling all sorts of sensational, titillating stories, almost all of which were lies and played directly to her new found audience...church groups. She was an instant hit and once again she had gotten what she wanted..attention from others. It worked for awhile. Unfortunately for her, almost everything she wrote in "Ordeal" was proved to be dishonest, but it did keep her in the limelight for awhile with yet another rapt audience. 

Do everyone a favor and go on into your new life, leave this one behind and seek your new audience and dazzle them with your stories that they will all cluck about and then shake their heads saying "for shame, for shame on all those lost people". Then one day when that audience dies away you can recreate yourself by trying to find a new audience telling everybody about how the church failed you. 

You would be far better off physcally & mentally if you just decided to grow up, take responsibility for yourself and move on and out of the limelight.


----------



## joswitch (Jan 7, 2012)

Mindee said:


> You can see what's coming up now can't you folks? The world's prime attention seeker will now be showing up with the various TV preachers telling all about her "amazing' conversion and speaking about all the ills of porn and gluttony and on and on and on.
> 
> Donna, you are an intellectual fraud much in the same mold as Linda Lovelace. When Linda dropped out of porn she wrote the fradulent book "Ordeal" telling all sorts of sensational, titillating stories, almost all of which were lies and played directly to her new found audience...church groups. She was an instant hit and once again she had gotten what she wanted..attention from others. It worked for awhile. Unfortunately for her, almost everything she wrote in "Ordeal" was proved to be dishonest, but it did keep her in the limelight for awhile with yet another rapt audience.
> 
> ...


----------



## Dromond (Jan 7, 2012)

collared Princess said:


> BINGO you have always been a very smart man
> I've always had religion in my life until I moved to NJ ...I'm just getting back to who I really am with lots of help from my Pastor and his wife and my whole church family.



I've never been known for being diplomatic or subtle, and I'm not about to start now. While I have no ill will toward you as a person, the persona you've constructed over the years has been very damaging. Both to yourself, and to the subculture you are part of. You've been one of the media whores who have taken money to cater to the freakshow mentality of talk shows.

That said, I really hope you are taking this new direction to heart. If you do, you'll drop out of the media and concentrate on your personal life. Finding your path to and with God. A true Christian does not need fame or fortune, for they know such things are of this life and therefore fleeting. A quiet life of obscurity is what you need to work on your health and your personal relationships. Leave the media whoring to others now. If you are serious, I wish you the best of luck on your new path.


----------



## Marlayna (Jan 7, 2012)

Any show with fatties on it, is a ratings grabber. I don't know Donna's backstory, but it seems there are some here who feel she's done something wrong by promoting herself.
I don't believe she's hurt the size acceptance movement by showing the extremes. Take tattoos and piercings for instance, some have just a few, and others are covered with them head to toe.

It's not like she does vids of herself eating puppies and kittens.:eat1:


----------



## Mathias (Jan 7, 2012)

Marlayna said:


> Any show with fatties on it, is a ratings grabber. I don't know Donna's backstory, but it seems there are some here who feel she's done something wrong by promoting herself.
> I don't believe she's hurt the size acceptance movement by showing the extremes. Take tattoos and piercings for instance, some have just a few, and others are covered with them head to toe.
> 
> It's not like she does vids of herself eating puppies and kittens.:eat1:



True, but back when she was trying to reach her goal of 1000lbs, alot of the anger this community had against her came from her dismissive and arrogant attitude she had about how she'd properly care for her child. Everyone also pretty much warned her of exactly what she's said in her original post. So forgive me for not being all that surprised.


----------



## KHayes666 (Jan 7, 2012)

Mathias said:


> True, but back when she was trying to reach her goal of 100lbs, alot of the anger this community had against her came from her dismissive and arrogant attitude she had about how she'd properly care for her child. Everyone also pretty much warned her of exactly what she's said in her original post. So forgive me for not being all that surprised.



She words things really...REALLY badly. Rather than come out and just said she wants to be healthier she took potshots at everyone with fetishes, male anatomy and anyone involved in her life.

Its not our fault her ex was a cheatbomb, its not our fault she ate the things she ate and its certainly not our fault she went on tv celebrating being the world's fattest mom or whatever. All of this was her doing so for her to turn around and point the finger at us is what brings this recent round of criticism.


----------



## Mathias (Jan 7, 2012)

KHayes666 said:


> She words things really...REALLY badly. Rather than come out and just said she wants to be healthier she took potshots at everyone with fetishes, male anatomy and anyone involved in her life.
> 
> Its not our fault her ex was a cheatbomb, its not our fault she ate the things she ate and its certainly not our fault she went on tv celebrating being the world's fattest mom or whatever. All of this was her doing so for her to turn around and point the finger at us is what brings this recent round of criticism.



Right. Then she wonders why  There's perverts and men who only care about her body and not how she feels in the adult entertainment industry?  No, surely not.


----------



## FA Punk (Jan 7, 2012)

Marlayna said:


> Any show with fatties on it, is a ratings grabber. I don't know Donna's backstory, but it seems there are some here who feel she's done something wrong by promoting herself.
> *I don't believe she's hurt the size acceptance movement by showing the extremes.* Take tattoos and piercings for instance, some have just a few, and others are covered with them head to toe.
> 
> It's not like she does vids of herself eating puppies and kittens.:eat1:



Exterme feederism has nothing to do with size acceptance what so ever, but when these ''feede's'' decide to go on television and make some insane outrageous claims it does hurt the ''size acceptance movement'' and our community as a whole. 

I have no problem with anyone trying to promote themselves but when you do it and it effects others in a negative way it's just plan wrong. I'll give Donna credit though in that she did bring up a real issue(in a sense) , but it's an issue that she herself had no problem feeding into(no pun intened).

I think it's disturbing how massive some of these young women are starting to get for the sake of these paysites, I'm sorry but alittle extra spending money and some half-ass compliments from a fan base that could give a rats ass weather you live or die isn't worth weighing over 600lbs.

Donna Simpson is nothing more then a spin docter who at this point has twisted some many things so much that she has lost herself in it now. And whats really sad is that we might be able to close the book on Donna Simpson finally, but we still have to deal with Susanne Eman and the next crackpot that comes out of the wood work.


----------



## truebebeblue (Jan 7, 2012)

FA Punk said:


> .
> 
> I think it's disturbing how massive some of these young women are starting to get for the sake of these paysites, I'm sorry but a little extra spending money and some half-ass compliments from a fan base that could give a rats ass weather you live or die isn't worth weighing over 600lbs.



I have to agree.I have been 500 lbs before and I know it can go to a dark painful place very easily so I personally worry for them. 
I think that quite a few of them have eating disorders and are calling it a fetish.I do not doubt that it IS a real fetish though.However I am of the thought that if someone has an addiction(food/drugs/alcohol) and indulges in it in a way that does not hurt others (don't have children,don't drink and drive) then it is their own business and their body to do with what they like. They die from it?
Their choice.
I doubt men sending a girl money to buy and shoot heroine would be as socially acceptable though.

I do have a huge problem with people who do not take responsibility for their own ridiculousness and most of this saga has been nothing but ridiculous. 
Once an angle loses it's zing she tries a slightly more screwed up approach.
Men and god are not your problem or solution...stop putting it in someone else's hands.You need to figure yourself out and live for someone who is more important than all your desires and weakness,your child.Not because it's fun or easy but because she deserves that or this whole sick cycle will continue in another generation.

True


----------



## collared Princess (Jan 8, 2012)

Thank guys for all of your privete messages supporting me..hugs and kisses
I've never seen such a negative group of people in my life
Like I've said before you could give you people a million dollars and everyone would complain if they received it all in 20's and not 100's..


----------



## FA Punk (Jan 8, 2012)

collared Princess said:


> Thank guys for all of your privete messages supporting me..hugs and kisses
> I've never seen such a negative group of people in my life
> Like I've said before you could give you people a million dollars and everyone would complain if they received it all in 20's and not 100's..



You are right! I would want my cold million in gold bars, can't trust the dollar right now


----------



## Dromond (Jan 8, 2012)

It's not really negativity, it's more of an epic level of skepticism. The boy who cried wolf did eventually tell the truth, but by that point nobody trusted him enough to believe it when he finally did.


----------



## Rowan (Jan 8, 2012)

Agree with dromond, not negativity..just epically fed up with the bullshit freak show circus being paraded around as if it has any value and anyone with even half of a brain should be offended that this piece of garbage article took up space on a legitimate news website like msnbc rather than the national inquirer where it belongs.


----------



## collared Princess (Jan 8, 2012)

Rowan said:


> Agree with dromond, not negativity..just epically fed up with the bullshit freak show circus being paraded around as if it has any value and anyone with even half of a brain should be offended that this piece of garbage article took up space on a legitimate news website like msnbc rather than the national inquirer where it belongs.



Who cares what you think..I remember trying to come to your aid during one of your drunk crying sessions because some man ditched you..smh


----------



## collared Princess (Jan 8, 2012)

Dromond said:


> It's not really negativity, it's more of an epic level of skepticism. The boy who cried wolf did eventually tell the truth, but by that point nobody trusted him enough to believe it when he finally did.



This thread has nothing to do with anyone crying wolf..It has nothing to do with all these off the topic response ..just thought maybe someone thinking of getting into the fetish business would like to hear the side of someone who has been through alot..also asking men to find a fat partner that represents his fetish for a lifetime and not just 10 minutes a night..
Everyone have a great time get all your frustrations out..use me for your jokes..do what you like ..I'm out


----------



## LoveBHMS (Jan 8, 2012)

FA Punk said:


> *I think it's disturbing how massive some of these young women are starting to get for the sake of these paysites,* I'm sorry but alittle extra spending money and some half-ass compliments from a fan base that could give a rats ass weather you live or die isn't worth weighing over 600lbs.
> 
> Donna Simpson is nothing more then a spin docter who at this point has twisted some many things so much that she has lost herself in it now. And whats really sad is that we might be able to close the book on Donna Simpson finally, but we still have to deal with Susanne Eman and the next crackpot that comes out of the wood work.



Just a reminder that you can say whatever you want about fat women so long as it's about paysites or intentional gaining. There are any number of posters on Dims who are 450+. Are you calling them disturbingly "massive" or is that just for paysite girls? You're pretty much saying "it's ok to be fat but not that fat" right?

Also, some women (and men) gain because they want to and for sexual pleasure, not just for paysites. I doubt any paysite girl is doing it because she is following in the footsteps of collared princess.


----------



## FA Punk (Jan 8, 2012)

collared Princess said:


> Who cares what you think..I remember trying to come to your aid during one of your drunk crying sessions because some man ditched you..smh



And the claws come out


----------



## cinnamitch (Jan 8, 2012)

FA Punk said:


> And the claws come out



So everyone else can make snide comments but not her?


----------



## FA Punk (Jan 8, 2012)

cinnamitch said:


> So everyone else can make snide comments but not her?



No, but it was rather random, I don't think Rowan was really on her.


----------



## Miss Vickie (Jan 8, 2012)

collared Princess said:


> This thread has nothing to do with anyone crying wolf..It has nothing to do with all these off the topic response ..just thought maybe someone thinking of getting into the fetish business would like to hear the side of someone who has been through alot..also asking men to find a fat partner that represents his fetish for a lifetime and not just 10 minutes a night..
> Everyone have a great time get all your frustrations out..use me for your jokes..do what you like ..I'm out



Donna, do you seriously think that anyone going into "the business" would listen to you, any more than you listened to us? Seriously?? Did you listen to the warnings about your health, about your ability to care for your child, about the power imbalance in your relationship that could (and did, might I add) cause you harm?

No, you didn't. Why? Because you knew better, and you gave us the same bullshit know it all attitude then that you're giving now. So do you really think that your opinion has any credibility within this community, let alone someone new to the pay site business? Hardly.

I hope you're able to recover from this but until you start taking responsibility for the decisions that you made, rather than making it about other people, you will never be able to truly heal from this and learn from it; instead, you will paint yourself as a victim, which is anathema to you taking charge of your life. And in the meantime, I hate to say I told you so but... well... you know.


----------



## Saoirse (Jan 8, 2012)

FA Punk said:


> You are right! I would want my cold million in gold bars, can't trust the dollar right now



totally OT, but I was told by a ranting, raving hippie that the value of the US dollar will drop 40% by Xmas of this year.


----------



## Dromond (Jan 8, 2012)

collared Princess said:


> This thread has nothing to do with anyone crying wolf..It has nothing to do with all these off the topic response ..just thought maybe someone thinking of getting into the fetish business would like to hear the side of someone who has been through alot..also asking men to find a fat partner that represents his fetish for a lifetime and not just 10 minutes a night..
> Everyone have a great time get all your frustrations out..use me for your jokes..do what you like ..I'm out



Believe it or not, I'm on your side here. With all the degrading shit you've been through, I really want to believe you're serious. It's a good message you're sending out, and I truly hope you are going to walk the talk.


----------



## Dromond (Jan 8, 2012)

Saoirse said:


> totally OT, but I was told by a ranting, raving hippie that the value of the US dollar will drop 40% by Xmas of this year.



Nonsense..


----------



## KHayes666 (Jan 8, 2012)

Saoirse said:


> totally OT, but I was told by a ranting, raving hippie that the value of the US dollar will drop 40% by Xmas of this year.



For some reason I believe this. I'll take the gold bars then


----------



## chicken legs (Jan 8, 2012)

collared Princess said:


> This thread has nothing to do with anyone crying wolf..It has nothing to do with all these off the topic response ..just thought maybe someone thinking of getting into the fetish business would like to hear the side of someone who has been through alot..also asking men to find a fat partner that represents his fetish for a lifetime and not just 10 minutes a night..
> Everyone have a great time get all your frustrations out..use me for your jokes..do what you like ..I'm out





LoveBHMS said:


> Just a reminder that you can say whatever you want about fat women so long as it's about paysites or intentional gaining. There are any number of posters on Dims who are 450+. Are you calling them disturbingly "massive" or is that just for paysite girls? You're pretty much saying "it's ok to be fat but not that fat" right?
> 
> Also, some women (and men) gain because they want to and for sexual pleasure, not just for paysites. I doubt any paysite girl is doing it because she is following in the footsteps of collared princess.




Maybe I'm in a negative head space but, I've been looking at the social stand point of being a FA/FFA and its is true that "it's ok to be fat but not that fat" in certain environments. Just like its ok to have a drink but not get knock down/blackout/need a new liver drunk. Which is why Fa/FFa will never be respected for liking fat, especially since "the war on obesity" is going on. Its like admitting you like to drink and hang out with lushes during prohibition.


----------



## CarlaSixx (Jan 8, 2012)

Saoirse said:


> totally OT, but I was told by a ranting, raving hippie that the value of the US dollar will drop 40% by Xmas of this year.



If so, I hope the Canadian dollar beats it once again. So I can buy things for the American price and save money  lol.


----------



## LovelyLiz (Jan 10, 2012)

Tracyarts said:


> _SNIPPED_
> When I decided that I was ready to create a healthier and happier life for myself, I first tried to simply avoid the triggers without walking away altogether. I stopped dining with the compulsive bingers and food addicts who just wanted me to *do food with them*....But I found that those people (and related social scenes) were all about the dysfunction. The eaters just wanted to eat, the drama whores just wanted to create drama, and the spenders just wanted to spend. Without the dysfunctional behavior, there wasn't much of anything left. Certainly not enough to hang around for. Sometimes when I'm bored I think maybe I'll go to one of these events, or maybe I'll look one of those people up? But those thoughts don't last long. I remember why I walked away in the first place.



I have been thinking about your post, and trying to see if I could figure out the difference between hanging out with other people who enjoy good food and sharing in the deliciousness together, and hanging out with food addicts who "do food." Occasionally I enjoy being with someone who enjoys food (even if it's unhealthy food) and just having a good time eating and enjoying something delicious and not having to apologize for the "sinfulness" of a potentially fried or sugary snack/meal. 

In your opinion, is it frequency of that kind of activity that makes it dysfunctional? Or is it not being able to enjoy other activities together? Or what? I guess I want to know what "doing food" with someone looks like.


----------



## Tracyarts (Jan 10, 2012)

" In your opinion, is it frequency of that kind of activity that makes it dysfunctional? Or is it not being able to enjoy other activities together? Or what? I guess I want to know what "doing food" with someone looks like. "

It wasn't so much the frequency because our schedules placed limits on that. Not being able to enjoy other activities together was a part of it. Food, and usually a certain type of food, was always the main focus of the outing (or evening in). We either had to rush through whatever we had planned so that we could get to the food, or we had the food while we were doing whatever we got together to do, but the food became the focus, not the activity we were supposed to be participating in together. 

But more than that, it was the addiction/compulsion issue that put me off. I say they were "doing" food, because they were addicts abusing their substance of choice. It wasn't about enjoyment, just about consuming enough to fill a need. They were not eating it because they wanted to, they were eating it because they HAD to. Pleasure never really played a part in it, oftentimes the mood went ugly and dark during a meal. And like with some other kinds of addicts, if you weren't keeping up with them, it could be a problem. 

I'm all for getting together with foodie friends and enjoying whatever we want, until we can eat no more of it, simply because it tastes good and feels good, and sharing that with somebody is awesome. But this was not that kind of scenario at all.

Tracy


----------



## LovelyLiz (Jan 11, 2012)

Thanks for explaining, Tracy. Interesting thoughts. I'm not totally sure I've experienced that dynamic, but I want to keep thinking it through.


----------



## LinathSuru (Jan 11, 2012)

Tracyarts said:


> " In your opinion, is it frequency of that kind of activity that makes it dysfunctional? Or is it not being able to enjoy other activities together? Or what? I guess I want to know what "doing food" with someone looks like. "
> 
> It wasn't so much the frequency because our schedules placed limits on that. Not being able to enjoy other activities together was a part of it. Food, and usually a certain type of food, was always the main focus of the outing (or evening in). We either had to rush through whatever we had planned so that we could get to the food, or we had the food while we were doing whatever we got together to do, but the food became the focus, not the activity we were supposed to be participating in together.
> 
> ...



I know for a fact I've never seen this particular kind of dynamic, and I can't really imagine being in it. To me food is all about the pleasure of it. I won't eat things I'm not enjoying, and I can't stuff myself on something I don't love. It's just how I am.

Moreover, if someone is ruining my meal by bringing a negative atmosphere to it I will make conscious efforts not to be in a position to eat with them again. Where's the fun in spoiled food?


----------



## lypeaches (Jan 11, 2012)

Tracyarts said:


> " In your opinion, is it frequency of that kind of activity that makes it dysfunctional? Or is it not being able to enjoy other activities together? Or what? I guess I want to know what "doing food" with someone looks like. "
> 
> It wasn't so much the frequency because our schedules placed limits on that. Not being able to enjoy other activities together was a part of it. Food, and usually a certain type of food, was always the main focus of the outing (or evening in). We either had to rush through whatever we had planned so that we could get to the food, or we had the food while we were doing whatever we got together to do, but the food became the focus, not the activity we were supposed to be participating in together.
> 
> ...



Been there, done that. I know exactly what you're talking about Tracy. Been there, done that.


----------



## Lovelyone (Jan 11, 2012)

Tracyarts said:


> snipped...
> 
> It wasn't so much the frequency because our schedules placed limits on that. Not being able to enjoy other activities together was a part of it. Food, and usually a certain type of food, was always the main focus of the outing (or evening in). We either had to rush through whatever we had planned so that we could get to the food, or we had the food while we were doing whatever we got together to do, but the food became the focus, not the activity we were supposed to be participating in together.
> 
> ...



I totally empathize with this post. I've also had this experience several times. It happens alot but often isn't recognized by those whom are participating, not sure why.


----------



## CastingPearls (Jan 11, 2012)

I've experienced what Tracy is talking about as well.

I had a new friend who invited me over for dinner with her and her husband and she told me she was ordering Chinese. I expected to order a combo plate or something similar but when I got there she literally ordered nearly everything off the menu. I asked her if more people were coming over because it was just us three and she said no no...that's the way she always ate, didn't I? It was.....surreal. I was happy she was my friend, she was a lovely person (has since passed away) and later became the best landlord I ever had, but there is an absolute difference between someone enjoying a feast and someone eating and eating to discomfort, barely chewing their food, and continuing to eat and making a competition with herself to finish all of it, as if her life depended on it. There's a difference between hunger, celebration and enjoyment vs desperation and discomfort and perhaps one can't comprehend it unless they've experienced or witnessed it.


----------



## KHayes666 (Jan 12, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> I've experienced what Tracy is talking about as well.
> 
> I had a new friend who invited me over for dinner with her and her husband and she told me she was ordering Chinese. I expected to order a combo plate or something similar but when I got there she literally ordered nearly everything off the menu. I asked her if more people were coming over because it was just us three and she said no no...that's the way she always ate, didn't I? It was.....surreal. I was happy she was my friend, she was a lovely person (has since passed away) and later became the best landlord I ever had, but there is an absolute difference between someone enjoying a feast and someone eating and eating to discomfort, barely chewing their food, and continuing to eat and making a competition with herself to finish all of it, as if her life depended on it. There's a difference between hunger, celebration and enjoyment vs desperation and discomfort and perhaps one can't comprehend it unless they've experienced or witnessed it.



You make a great point about eating in desperation but that's not the same as what Donna is proclaiming. 

While your friend may have had an eating disorder to the point of eating all that Chinese food, nobody put a gun to her head and told her to do it. The same way nobody put a gun to Donna's head and told her to go on tv and say she wants to be the world's fattest mom. The difference is what's happening is she's pointing the finger at others (specifically people with fetishes) as the reason she turned out the way she did when the reality is she made those choices herself and herself alone. Did your friend ever blame her husband, you or anyone else for the reason she ate as much as she did? If not then there's the difference in what's going on here. Donna's blaming the paysite fans and fetishists for her problems when nobody forced her to do anything. I won't lie and say there was no pressure to do so because I know for a fact a lot of overzealous site fans can get very pushy, but in the end anything she did were her own actions.

BTW, I'm very sorry your friend passed away, I mean no disrespect nor am I discounting your story in anyway.


----------



## lypeaches (Jan 12, 2012)

I don't think CP, or any of us in the last few posts were saying that is what Donna is doing. We kind of got sidetracked by a comment Tracy had made about her own life choices...not Donna's.


----------



## Lamia (Jan 12, 2012)

It's interesting that people have had this experience. I've never actually had this one. Maybe I'm not paying attention, but then again my relationship with food has always been an arduous task that I have to get over with as soon as possible so I can move on to other things. So maybe I'm the joyless git that's ruining everyone else's fun, but food is something I try to avoid if I can. lol

I seldom get any joy from food. I chew mechanically usually at work as I try to consume my frozen dinner asap so I can get back to the task at hand. 

I'd like to hear more about this maybe we can make another thread that isn't part of the "Hi Donna I am here to tell you why you suck at life tirades..."


----------



## CastingPearls (Jan 12, 2012)

KHayes666 said:


> You make a great point about eating in desperation but that's not the same as what Donna is proclaiming.
> 
> While your friend may have had an eating disorder to the point of eating all that Chinese food, nobody put a gun to her head and told her to do it. The same way nobody put a gun to Donna's head and told her to go on tv and say she wants to be the world's fattest mom. The difference is what's happening is she's pointing the finger at others (specifically people with fetishes) as the reason she turned out the way she did when the reality is she made those choices herself and herself alone. Did your friend ever blame her husband, you or anyone else for the reason she ate as much as she did? If not then there's the difference in what's going on here. Donna's blaming the paysite fans and fetishists for her problems when nobody forced her to do anything. I won't lie and say there was no pressure to do so because I know for a fact a lot of overzealous site fans can get very pushy, but in the end anything she did were her own actions.
> 
> BTW, I'm very sorry your friend passed away, I mean no disrespect nor am I discounting your story in anyway.


I wasn't referring to Donna at all, but at McBeth's asking Tracyarts for examples of what she meant by 'doing food'.


----------



## Webmaster (Jan 12, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> I wasn't referring to Donna at all, but at McBeth's asking Tracyarts for examples of what she meant by 'doing food'.



Hey, as a Swiss-born person I "do" chocolate all the time.


----------



## KHayes666 (Jan 12, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> I wasn't referring to Donna at all, but at McBeth's asking Tracyarts for examples of what she meant by 'doing food'.



Ah., my mistake. Sorry about that


----------



## CaitiDee (Jan 12, 2012)

In reply to the original post, I think what you mean in general is "Adults, let's start acting like adults." Right? Let's all stop selling ourselves short. Let's all start treating one another with respect. Let's all make sound decisions. 

The thing is... Are you at a healthy enough place to be doling out this advice? An epiphany about your life doesn't really make you an expert on healthy living. That's not really our business, but I imagine that's where a lot of the animosity in this thread is coming from. 

I agree that women should never do anything they're not comfortable with, for anything in return (praise, money, fame). But people are going to do as they please, until they learn those lessons themselves.


----------



## CarlaSixx (Jan 12, 2012)

Just to comment on those talking about "doing food"...

I had drinking buddies. And I have people who would refer to me as a "drug buddy" if they weren't in denial about being addicts.

"Doing food" is the same as doing speed or whatever. And having a "drug buddy" to do it with is all the same. It comes down to not wanting to be alone in the addiction. It's not really a friendship, and the focus is just on getting that hit... getting the high that helps you carry on throughout the day... And then parting ways with the person you're doing your drug of choice with. 

I had drinking buddies. We'd hang out at each other's place or go to bars together, but never unless there was drinking involved, and could barely hold a conversation together when drinking wasn't being done. It's the same with the people I know who'd consider me a drug buddy. They only want me around so that they feel less guilt for being an addict. If someone else is present, it helps feed the denial by calling it a social indulgence... rather than a flat out addiction.

Same with food. Some will just want the company so as to make it feel like it's a social event. It covers up the guilt. So food can really be like a drug for some people. And "doing food" makes total sense to me.


----------



## CastingPearls (Jan 12, 2012)

KHayes666 said:


> Ah., my mistake. Sorry about that


No problem and no offense taken at all.


----------

