# Revealing stories?



## Tad (May 28, 2014)

Do you have a story, anecdote, experience, or even quip that you feel really sums up a lot of who you are? Perhaps in a lot of different situations youve pulled it out (or at least thought of it) as an illustration of how you operate. Maybe it is your parents or friends who keep bringing it up, to explain you to others. If so, please share! Maybe it will help us see you in a different way, or perhaps just make us smile and go Yep, that sounds like the {name} we know and love around here.

I have two that keep coming up for me, which Ive no doubt mentioned before given all the years Ive been posting here.

1. The first one is more of a quip I met my wife in our University debating club. If you want to understand our conversational style, remember that there was bonus points for high quality heckling.

2.	The second is an anecdote/story. At recess in kindergarten, my classmates started playing Train, where one person would declare themselves to be an engine and others would join them (conga line style) as the cars, and then the engine would 'drive' around the playground, usually eventually getting silly and making it hard for the cars to hold on. Something about this game made me uncomfortable.until I came up with a brilliant (to me) ideaI declared myself to be a booster engine. Id help the engine pull the train around, but I could split off--whenever I wanted--to do my own thing, on my own or with some of the cars. Some others started declaring themselves to be booster engines too. Soon the train game died out and we went on to play more interesting (to me) games.

I hope some of the rest of you will add your own stories!


----------



## Esther (May 28, 2014)

I was dating a guy for about 4 months. We had an elaborate date day planned on our mutual day off - lunch at a nice restaurant, a hike and a movie. He called me that morning and said, "Esther, I know this is a long shot, but I gotta ask... my buddy just gave me a ticket for Slayer tonight in Toronto. I'd have to scrap our whole plan today to go with him. What are the odds you won't hate me if I go?"
My response was, "IT'S SLAYER. Please go."
He declared me a keeper on that day.


----------



## loopytheone (May 28, 2014)

Off the top of my head two things from uni sum me up pretty well. 

I don't remember what I had said previous to this because frankly, I say a _lot_ of dumb things but one of friends from uni declared me 'the dumbest smart person they had ever met'. I feel that sums me up pretty well! 

The other thing that comes to mind is probably something that doesn't come across too well online, which is my sense of humour. I still get the two sentences from this anecdote quoted at me by my uni friends! First off, somebody held a door open for me and said 'ladies first' and for some reason I responded by saying 'I'm not a lady, you go first!" and stopping on the spot. My friend thought this was so hilarious he told my boyfriend at the time that I wasn't a lady. Cue bickering about my female-ness until I eventually shouted at the top of my lungs 'if you don't shut up I'm going to get my tits out!' in the middle of the biology department car park. 

I think those two quotes/anecdotes probably sum up my randomness and bizarre sense of humour that people either get or stare blankly at me!


----------



## Melian (May 28, 2014)

I poisoned my housemates, once.


----------



## Sasquatch! (May 28, 2014)

Melian said:


> I poisoned my housemates, once.



That's the Melian we know and love!


----------



## sarahe543 (May 28, 2014)

I was staying I Italy and got very drunk and passed out on the toilet, the boyfriend of one of the other students I was staying with apparently carried me into my bed. His gf said ought I not to apologise and my reply was a spontaneous one 'how can you apologise for something you don't remember doing'

The other not so much an anecdote but I have survived having a stroke and also escaped domestic violence so that says a lot about me.


----------



## tankyguy (May 28, 2014)

I don't know if it's particularly revealing, but I have an anecdote about an anecdote, within an anecdote. Anecdote Inception, if you will.

I used to teach a class in 3d animation at a local career school, and lucky me, I scored an apartment in a house not a block away.

So one Friday afternoon, the class is having a work period. I'd often put a movie on the class flat screen to talk cinematography and film theory while they worked. That day I was dissecting Tarantino's 'Reservoir Dogs'.

In the movie, Mr. Orange tells an anecdote about how, after buying a large quantity of drugs, he stops in a public toilet only two find _four cops and a dog_ in there. It turns out they were just using the facilities and talking. One cop is telling an anecdote about a clueless driver he pulled over. Mr. Orange, despite having the drugs on him and the dog freaking out at his presence, plays it cool, does his business, washes up and leaves, none of them the wiser.

This happens to be the last scene we watch as class is over for the day. Everyone packs up and heads out for the weekend. So minutes after watching this, I'm walking up to the parking lot of my place. I turn the corner fence and see _four cops and a dog_ standing in the driveway, talking. *Exactly* like the movie.

For a second, I'm frozen. The surrealness of the moment has me unable to process. I think I'm dreaming. They stop and notice me.
The only I can come up with to say is "I live here", still kind of spaced out.

The cop with the dog says "Hello sir. There was a robbery up the street and we tracked the suspect to this apartment" as he motions to the upstairs apartment. "I see. Is it Ok if I go into mine?" I ask.
They all look at each other and the cop is like "Suuuure... but you may want to stay in there for the next little while, out of the way."

I unlock the door, and go into my place.
A minute later, two cop cars shop up. I hear the 6 or 7 of them thunder up the stairs to the top floor, announce their presence and breach the door. Over the next hour I listen to them stomping around, searching the place as I'm sitting there, eating a pizza roll and watching a cartoon. They eventually leave with some boxes and I watch them drive away.

That second I get a call from my sister who asks if there was anything interesting happening with me. I just say "I don't even..." and leave it at that.


----------



## djudex (May 28, 2014)

Melian said:


> I poisoned my housemates, once.



Only once? Don't be coy, we're all friends here.


----------



## biglynch (May 28, 2014)

A very good mate of mine said " Aiden, how is it this time last week we were in a London club with a pocket full of cash and had a great night, and this week we had £10 between us, and we still find ourselves in a club some how now with a poket full of cash having a great night?" 
No idea was my answer. 

3 weeks later we phoned work sick after a big night out, an flew to Berlin for 3 days.

He then referred to the question he asked me before and said its simple, I make bad ideas seem like good ideas, then make them great ideas.

I like that.


----------



## dharmabean (May 28, 2014)

Alright, I'll bite. 

I found out from my mother a few years ago that when I was a toddler I was in love with cookies (still to this day actually). She discovered my love by discovering my hidden treasure trove. 

She said she couldn't figure out how she would put me to bed, bathed and clean, only to have me wake up in the morning with crumbs all over my mouth and clothes. She changed my bedding, and found that under my mattress, in the corner next to the wall, there was a stash of cookies. Seems whenever she would give me one, I'd run to my room and hide it. 

Cookie Monster is not just a pet name.


----------



## WhiteHotRazor (May 28, 2014)

There is a mental hospital in the town I live in, the same town I grew up in...and when my friends and I were dumb teenagers we used to get high and drive back in there at night (before they had gates) and creep each other out pretending like we were going to see some crazy shit. 

So one time I'm driving through the grounds and I have 4 of my friends in the car with me, all baked. We drive past a building and there's a light on in a window on the second floor, we stop and were looking up at the window from the car and we see a guy sitting in a wheelchair with his back facing the window. Standing in front of him is a orderly in a white uniform and he is swinging his arm at the guy and every time he swings the guy in the wheelchair is bouncing backwards and his body is flailing. And we sat there watching in complete shock!!' 

HOLY SHIT THEY BEAT PATIENTS!!! Ahhhhhh! 

Were all losing it, freaking out and scared and I pull the car up a little bit farther to get a better look and my friend says...

"aww man they're just playing ping pong".


----------



## bayone (May 29, 2014)

I once accidentally committed identity fraud. 

My debit card had been losing its magnetism for a while, and finally gave out in a small neighbourhood store. The woman behind the counter took out her bank card and tried it, to make sure it wasnt the stores card reader at fault. I then walked over to my bank and ordered a replacement card. They processed the order and gave me a temporary card to use until the new one arrived in the mail. I tried it on the ATM at the bank and the account opened, but it wasnt mine. I realized Id picked up the bank card of the woman at the store (who used the same bank), forgetting that Id already put my own card into my purse. I explained to the bank, had a new temporary card reissued for her (as theyd already cut hers up) and went back to the store where shed gone off shift but I was able to leave it at the counter, along with my apologies. 

The oddest thing was that the bank teller had failed to say anything when a *really* stereotypically white-looking person had brought in a card with a Korean name; I dont know if he just didnt look at the name, or if I look so innocent he thought Oh, theres probably some reasonable explanation. Maybe shes adopted. In which case I may have missed my calling as a con artist.


----------



## Amaranthine (May 29, 2014)

I have a few, and none are particularly flattering. But they probably sum me up decently as a person. 

1. Once upon a time, I was walking around campus buildings at night and snagged a few latex gloves off one of the janitor's carts. Because the individual I was with at the time was curious about - there's no dainty way to convey it - being finger-banged up the ass. 

So the first time, because I'm too cheap to buy lube when there's perfectly good household supplies around, I used some olive oil. And it worked just fine. The second time around I was out of olive oil. But no worries! Because I had a can of Pam. I thought this was a great idea, as it'd spray on easily and everything. Except it's also loaded with alcohol, which burns something terrible. I nearly died laughing at the immediate discomfort, and had to calm myself down before I could help...uh...wipe out the Pam.

~

2. I was tasked with holding an extra credit session for my Ethics class last semester. All I had to do was guide some discussion based on material we talked about in class. We ended up debating the merits of...population control. I was beaming with pride.

3. And on another academic note, I spent one night furiously working on an assignment, stressing out about it crazily, and eventually turning it in via email with a note apologizing for it being late. My professor responded saying that I was actually a day early. I emailed back telling him the assignment was so disorienting I forgot what day it was :doh:

4. And finally - sometimes when I did laundry on campus, I'd encounter the ever-so-annoying problem of all the machines being full, but some being finished. As in, the person didn't come back in a timely manner to take their clothing from the washer and put it in the dryer. I always felt too guilty at the prospect of taking their wet clothes out and just sticking them on the table. So I'd put the loads of clothes in dryers, and leave little notes as to which dryer their clothing was in. Even still, I'd feel like I was doing something terrible as I removed the clothes from the washers...


----------



## bayone (May 29, 2014)

Amaranthine said:


> 1. Once upon a time, I was walking around campus buildings at night and snagged a few latex gloves off one of the janitor's carts. Because the individual I was with at the time was curious about - there's no dainty way to convey it - being finger-banged up the ass.
> 
> So the first time, because I'm too cheap to buy lube when there's perfectly good household supplies around, I used some olive oil.



I'm not sure what it says about that my first concern upon reading this was "No, don't do that! Oils break down latex!"


----------



## biglynch (May 29, 2014)

Amaranthine, I was not expecting the words, finger banged. I giggled and now have coffee flowing from my nose and in my beard.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya (May 29, 2014)

Amaranthine said:


> I have a few, and none are particularly flattering. But they probably sum me up decently as a person.
> 
> 1. Once upon a time, I was walking around campus buildings at night and snagged a few latex gloves off one of the janitor's carts. Because the individual I was with at the time was curious about - there's no dainty way to convey it - being finger-banged up the ass.
> 
> So the first time, because I'm too cheap to buy lube when there's perfectly good household supplies around, I used some olive oil. And it worked just fine. The second time around I was out of olive oil. But no worries! Because I had a can of Pam. I thought this was a great idea, as it'd spray on easily and everything. Except it's also loaded with alcohol, which burns something terrible. I nearly died laughing at the immediate discomfort, and had to calm myself down before I could help...uh...wipe out the Pam.


I like you enough to let you out Pam in my butthole. 


bayone said:


> I'm not sure what it says about that my first concern upon reading this was "No, don't do that! Oils break down latex!"


I'd let you put Pam in my butthole too. 


biglynch said:


> Amaranthine, I was not expecting the words, finger banged. I giggled and now have coffee flowing from my nose and in my beard.


You can watch.


----------



## biglynch (May 29, 2014)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> I like you enough to let you out Pam in my butthole.
> 
> I'd let you put Pam in my butthole too.
> 
> You can watch.


 
Thats very kind of you. What's Pam... I had a crush on a girl called Pam at school... She never put anything in my butt. I think back then she could have put a tarantula covered in razorblades in there and I'd have been OK with it. 

Have we derailed this thread, somebody save us.


----------



## Amaranthine (May 30, 2014)

bayone said:


> I'm not sure what it says about that my first concern upon reading this was "No, don't do that! Oils break down latex!"



Heh, luckily for him, my fingers are (unfortunately) impotent. 




biglynch said:


> Amaranthine, I was not expecting the words, finger banged. I giggled and now have coffee flowing from my nose and in my beard.



I certainly hope it was cool coffee, at least! That happened to me once with an apple, and it was the fucking worst. Pam is a spray on, non-stick cooking oil kinda deal.


----------



## WhiteHotRazor (May 30, 2014)

Pam is a cooking spray Or butthole lubricant apparently, depending on level of desperation.


----------



## biglynch (May 30, 2014)

Amaranthine said:


> Heh, luckily for him, my fingers are (unfortunately) impotent.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I'm a constant nose load blower. Cottage pie or milk being the worst. Milk made me look like I'd been to a very specific party, and I was the guest of honour. The coffee was hot.



WhiteHotRazor said:


> Pam is a cooking spray Or butthole lubricant apparently, depending on level of desperation.


"I've only got Pam"
"I don't care, I need fingers in my butt now"
"Well OK"
*sprays*

"I immediately regret this decision"


----------



## lille (May 30, 2014)

As a child I was afraid of riding bikes (ok, I still have a bicycle phobia), so I had one of those ones that's just a seat, pedals, and back wheel that attached to the back of my dad's bike, because when you're little if dad is there nothing can possibly go wrong. We'd be biking down the road and if I saw a wooly bear caterpillar trying to cross the road I'd make my dad stop and pick it up so it wouldn't get run over. My dad would then bike home with a caterpillar crawling up his arm so I could safely put it either in the yard or one of the house plants.


----------



## dharmabean (May 30, 2014)

biglynch said:


> "I've only got Pam"
> "I don't care, I need fingers in my butt now"
> "Well OK"
> *sprays*
> ...



But...butt...wait... it's buttery flavored!


----------



## ODFFA (Jun 2, 2014)

The sad thing is, most of my revealing stories are from when I was a tiny. 

1. At around 6, I *insisted on attending our family Christmas get-together wearing my mother’s shiny silver maxi skirt as a strapless dress. I put an alice band around my waist to keep it in place, and it still trailed a bit behind me. I kept tripping over it the whole night, but I didn’t care.

2. Then somewhere between age 8-10 I had &#8216;founded a company,’ and I would &#8216;chair meetings’ after school with my dolls, that were mostly makeshift ones I manufactured using mops, coat hangers, dolls’ heads, old clothes, etc. I was a shitty nightmare of a CEO. Open door policy? Nuh-uh. I have a few others from around that time, but you get the picture. I’ve lost a lot of that little diva, most of which I really wouldn’t mind getting back. 

3. Fast forward to just over a decade, I’m on my first date with a guy who’s completely blind. We’re going out to eat, he’s holding onto my arm and I’m leading him. I fail to see a rather thick low-hanging branch that was just out of *my way and I lead him into it face first :doh: Despite my profuse apologies, the first thing he asks as soon as we get to the restaurant is..... “Do you think they sell guide dogs here by any chance?"


----------



## loopytheone (Jun 2, 2014)

ODFFA said:


> 3. Fast forward to just over a decade, Im on my first date with a guy whos completely blind. Were going out to eat, hes holding onto my arm and Im leading him. I fail to see a rather thick low-hanging branch that was just out of *my way and I lead him into it face first :doh: Despite my profuse apologies, the first thing he asks as soon as we get to the restaurant is..... Do you think they sell guide dogs here by any chance?"



Hahaha, I am sorry but that really made me laugh! It sounds so much like something I would do! I feel sorry for both of you in that situation but I have lost track of the number of times I have walked under something and then someone behind me has smacked right into it!


----------



## MrSensible (Jun 2, 2014)

ODFFA said:


> The sad thing is, most of my revealing stories are from when I was a tiny.



Hahaha, I love number 2. Now that you mention it, quite a few of the telling stories I can think of come from my childhood as well:


I was an unbelievably shy kid, and I still have vivid memories of my first day at Kindergarten. When I looked in the classroom and saw all of those other kids I was seriously petrified. My parents literally had to force me into the class, and I wasn't happy about it. I'm still a pretty shy person even today (I don't care much for big crowds), so it continues to hold true -- albeit to a considerably lesser extent.

Looking back at that same year, I also realize that vanity was a concept I learned fairly early. I remember getting ready for school one day and having this tuft of hair on the back of my head that just wouldn't go down. I tried everything but nothing would fix it. This concerned me so much that I begged my brother (who was taking us to school that day) to let me stay home until I could fix it but that wasn't happening. As I reluctantly went into class, all the while trying to conceal my 5 year old shame, I suddenly got the brilliant idea of using a pair of those shitty safety scissors to cut off the offending tuft. Unfortunately for me, my situational awareness wasn't quite as developed as my sense of vanity, and I was soon spotted and reported to the teacher. All I can remember after that was crying in front of everyone as I held the teacher's waste . As far as how that experience relates to me today... well, I'm not a vain person, but I still fucking hate it when my hair doesn't do what I want (which, considering how frizzy it gets sometimes, is often.)


 I also had this strange obsession with wanting to be a scientist/inventor as a kid (around the 8-10 age range, I think.) I'm not sure what spurred this on, but everyday after school, I would gather up any and every seemingly useful household utility or toy I could find (like silly straws, random plastic tubes, vacuum cleaner pieces, various assortments of building blocks, etc) and I would try to create "something." I never had any idea of what that something was going to be or do, but I was hell bent on making it happen. After a long afternoon of essentially accomplishing nothing, I'd always show my "finished" creation to my dad when he got home from work, and try to play it off like I actually managed to do something, haha. He was always a great sport about it and it motivated me to try again the next day.

Fast forward to today, I'm certainly no inventor, but I do really enjoy putting computers together and feeling rewarded when they power on. I've always loved messing with the hardware-side of things, more so than software, and if I thought I could handle the math involved I might have considered getting into engineering instead of what I'm doing now.



loopytheone said:


> Hahaha, I am sorry but that really made me laugh! It sounds so much like something I would do! I feel sorry for both of you in that situation but I have lost track of the number of times I have walked under something and then someone behind me has smacked right into it!



This, I can also relate to :happy:.


----------



## Tad (Jun 2, 2014)

ODFFA said:


> The sad thing is, most of my revealing stories are from when I was a tiny.



I suspect this is the case for many people, because:

1) kids are so earnestly themselves
2) we've had more time to look back and reflect on things that happened longer ago, and see how it connects with other things.


----------



## MrSensible (Jun 2, 2014)

Tad said:


> I suspect this is the case for many people, because:
> 
> 1) kids are so earnestly themselves
> 2) we've had more time to look back and reflect on things that happened longer ago, and see how it connects with other things.



Agreed - both of those are great points. Its interesting what some of those past experiences can teach us, especially once were old (and wise) enough to put them in perspective.



MrSensible said:


> All I can remember after that was crying in front of everyone as I held the teacher's *waste* .



And because I just noticed it and its bugging the crap out of me - waist*

Im OCD about typos like that


----------



## tankyguy (Jun 2, 2014)

ODFFA's story reminded me of another thing that happened to me.

Beautiful sunny afternoon in Spring. I'm waking home from work, passing by the park. Two cute girls coming from the other direction, probably just got out of classes at the university. I veer left of the sidewalk to let them by.

Just as they pass by I walk into an invisible spider web hanging from a tree with a hundred hatchlings in my face and hair.

From their perspective all they see is this fat guy suddenly roar and start flailing his arms around as he approached them. One girl screamed and they took off. I feel so bad if I traumatized them.


----------



## loopytheone (Jun 2, 2014)

tankyguy said:


> ODFFA's story reminded me of another thing that happened to me.
> 
> Beautiful sunny afternoon in Spring. I'm waking home from work, passing by the park. Two cute girls coming from the other direction, probably just got out of classes at the university. I veer left of the sidewalk to let them by.
> 
> ...



Ahhh, I just got itchy all over just hearing about this! Never mind the girls, I am surprised you are not traumatised from being covered in tiny spiders like that, I'd have had a full blown panic attack!


----------



## MrSensible (Jun 2, 2014)

tankyguy said:


> ODFFA's story reminded me of another thing that happened to me.
> 
> Beautiful sunny afternoon in Spring. I'm waking home from work, passing by the park. Two cute girls coming from the other direction, probably just got out of classes at the university. I veer left of the sidewalk to let them by.
> 
> ...



Hahaha, sorry to laugh but I can't even tell you how much I relate to this -- particularly the spider part. Every place that I've lived in the last 5 or so years has had tons of relatively low hanging trees around them. I don't know what it is but I am a fucking magnet when it comes to any web-like substance. It even happens in places you wouldn't think a web could exist; like they fabricate out of thin air just to assault my face.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, pisses me off more than walking face first into a spider web. Even thinking about it makes my skin crawl.


----------



## loopytheone (Jun 2, 2014)

Come to think of it, I guess this counts as a spider-related revealing story!

My mother once had to kick the door down off of our bathroom because I had gone to the toilet and locked the door behind me. It was one of those bolt locks as well where you move the bolt across into the little holders screwed into the door. Now when I was in there I saw the mother of all spiders crawl out from the radiator between me and the door. I am terrified and the bathroom is tiny and I just freaked out and climbed on top of the toilet seat and screamed at the top of my lungs over and over until my mum kicked the door down and saved me from the evil spider!


----------



## bayone (Jun 2, 2014)

tankyguy said:


> From their perspective all they see is this fat guy suddenly roar and start flailing his arms around as he approached them.



I once saw, from a few blocks away, a girl walking towards me while making really weird gestures with her arms. I was bracing myself to avoid eye contact, when she got close enough for me to see the very thin leash she was holding, and the ferret running around on the end of it.


----------



## tankyguy (Jun 3, 2014)

loopytheone said:


> Never mind the girls, I am surprised you are not traumatised from being covered in tiny spiders like that, I'd have had a full blown panic attack!



Heh. Nope. I grew up in the country so I'm used to crawlies. Aside from the initial surprise, it didn't faze me. Just hung my shirt outside to blow off and had a shower.


----------



## loopytheone (Jun 3, 2014)

tankyguy said:


> Heh. Nope. I grew up in the country so I'm used to crawlies. Aside from the initial surprise, it didn't faze me. Just hung my shirt outside to blow off and had a shower.



To me, that makes you just about the most macho and badass person ever!


----------



## tankyguy (Jun 3, 2014)

loopytheone said:


> To me, that makes you just about the most macho and badass person ever!



I've been called a lot of things, but a macho man isn't one of them.


----------



## Dr. Feelgood (Jun 3, 2014)

Two stories that reveal something about me (and my long-suffering wife):

1. I met my wife-to-be at the library. We got to chatting, checked our books out, and decided to continue the conversation at a restaurant about a mile away. We both headed for our cars, planning to meet up at the restaurant, when I suddenly remembered I had WALKED to the library. So I had to run after the poor girl and beg a ride from her.

2. Early in our marriage, after making love, my wife lay back in my arms and sighed, "What are you thinking about?" I replied, truthfully, "Etruscan pottery." She never asked again.

She has stuck with me despite all this, and we are celebrating our thirty-first anniversary today.


----------



## Tad (Jun 3, 2014)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> She has stuck with me despite all this, and we are celebrating our thirty-first anniversary today.



Happy Anniversary--that is awesome   

and someone please rep this guy for me!!!!!!!


----------



## MrSensible (Jun 3, 2014)

Tad said:


> Happy Anniversary--that is awesome
> 
> and someone please rep this guy for me!!!!!!!



Got him for both of us. And because I stupidly forgot to say it in the rep -- Happy Anniversary :happy:


----------



## bayone (Jun 3, 2014)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> 2. Early in our marriage, after making love, my wife lay back in my arms and sighed, "What are you thinking about?" I replied, truthfully, "Etruscan pottery."



My husband was once channel-surfing and came across a "travel" show, which was really an excuse to show lots of swimsuit models. He regarded it with a bored expression until they cut to a shot of a sea-turtle.
Him: "Look! A turtle!" 
Me: "I love you."
Him: "What?"


----------



## Undine (Jun 4, 2014)

I love this thread so much I'll stop lurking for a moment to chime in.

During my freshman and sophomore years of college, I struck up a friendship with a vocal performance major who lived on my floor. We both liked the same kinds of music, both loved to sing, and both had rather twisted senses of humor, so, when it was announced that our campus would be starting a weekly coffee house in the basement of our dorm, we decided to form a band and perform at it.

Of course the most important part of forming a band is naming it. We went through all sorts of absurd choices until we finally came to one that we felt really fit us. This was back in the golden era of Livejournal and Xanga and internet quizzes like "which pop-punk band are you?" and "which mythological creature speaks to your soul?" I was wasting time between classes one day by taking some of these silly quizzes, one of which was "what angel are you?" or something like that. I cracked up at my answer and immediately got the brilliant idea to have my bandmate take the quiz, too. So I sent her the link, she took it with an equally hilarious result, and we decided that our "angels" would be the perfect band name.

So that is how two geeky, bespectacled, emo college girls singing pretty soprano harmonies to songs such as Alkaline Trio's "Radio," Dashboard Confessional's "Screaming Infidelities," and John Denver's "Annie's Song," accompanied by an acoustic guitar, came to be known as Death and Vengeance.

I am still known as Death by most of my college friends.


----------



## x0emnem0x (Jun 4, 2014)

1. So I don't remeber the lyrics, but as a child I used to have this sassy ass song I would sing as I was on the toilet. No matter where I was. I would sing it. It was about a fairy... or something along those lines. 

2. As kids, my sister and I hated each other and tried to get one another in trouble. We used to go around writing each others names on the walls with markers so my mom would think that the other one did it, but then we started writing our own names on the wall to make it even more confusing... we were/are weird. 

3. In high school, I was shy, but my best friend Cody (thank god) had been there since freshman year... he always got me in trouble. We were crazy. He ran that school. Freshman year, mind you, this is like the beginning of our friendship. It was homecoming week and there was parades outside our school and an assembly inside, and us being annoying little freshman were running around inside. Our mascot was an Indian head so my friend Lisa at the time ran across the gym in front of the whole school right before the assembly started, wearing it like a moron and then Cody followed her and I followed Cody... as I was running, at some point I fumbled and tripped, did an awesome barrel roll in from of the ENTIRE school and they all stopped, did that little "GASP" you hear in movies, and BUSTED OUT LAUGHING. This is something I will remember - literally forever - and also described how clumsy I am and what kind of crap I got myself into back in my high school days... :doh: Just sums up my personality! 

4. One of my ex boyfriends from high school had told me once he knew when he had fallen in love with me (which no one has ever told me WHEN they'd fallen in love with me) is when he had to go to the nursing home to see his grandmother and though I couldn't be there with him, he was worried about not being able to talk to me and I told him not to worry about it, to basically focus his attention on her and to talk to me whenever he has time after, that it was no issue. I had never been one to say stuff like that because it was all new to me, but it came naturally and I'll always remember this. Basically made me realize that caring like that (I was young and didn't know a lot about relationships lol) is a really good thing and that I've always been genuine about caring for others. :blush:


----------



## otherland78 (Jun 6, 2014)

loopytheone said:


> Off the top of my head two things from uni sum me up pretty well.
> 
> I don't remember what I had said previous to this because frankly, I say a _lot_ of dumb things but one of friends from uni declared me 'the dumbest smart person they had ever met'. I feel that sums me up pretty well!
> 
> ...



haha really ??? you said that ;-) O.O

i love you haha 
i really like those crazy things although i would get beet red in thef ace if i were your bf back then lol


----------



## bayone (Jun 7, 2014)

ODFFA said:


> 1. At around 6, I *insisted on attending our family Christmas get-together wearing my mothers shiny silver maxi skirt as a strapless dress. I put an alice band around my waist to keep it in place, and it still trailed a bit behind me. I kept tripping over it the whole night, but I didnt care.



Sounds like something I'd have done. Did you ever put knee-socks on your arms as long gloves?


----------



## ODFFA (Jun 7, 2014)

bayone said:


> Sounds like something I'd have done. Did you ever put knee-socks on your arms as long gloves?



Ohhh yes. And I always made a beeline for the real thing in my grandmother's closet whenever we went to visit her.


----------



## tankyguy (Jun 7, 2014)

Long gloves you say?

http://www.glad2bawoman.com/sites/default/files/flapper3.jpg

:wubu:


----------



## Goreki (Jun 8, 2014)

Well, at my 21st, my two best friends went around asking everyone if they had any funny stories about me. Peoples eyes would light up straight away and they'd say "YES!"
At which point my friends would interject with "Family friendly!!"
Whereupon their faces would fall, and they'd just stand there going "uhhhmmm..."

When I was little, I wanted to walk around the mall I work in now dressed as Rainbow Brite. I get to stand out the front of my shop dressed like a Sylvanian Families rabbit once a year though, which is a close second.


----------



## bayone (Jun 8, 2014)

ODFFA said:


> Ohhh yes. And I always made a beeline for the real thing in my grandmother's closet whenever we went to visit her.



By university I'd amassed enough gloves and fancy accessories that I was the floor quartermaster any time there was a formal dance.


----------



## Melian (Jun 10, 2014)

As a teenager, I was questioned by the police regarding the burning of one church and one school. Wasn't responsible for either, but it was nice that they thought of me.


----------



## Tad (Jun 11, 2014)

Somehow this ^^^^^^ doesn't surprise me....
=================================

I guess that when I first read about the game &#8216;Halo’ I mis-read the character title, which led me to read other things about the game in a certain light, which made me rather like the sound of the game. I mean, when everyone else has been taken down, the freaking cook turns out to be a total bad-ass and tears through the enemy as an unstoppable force? It was almost enough to make me go buy a game console, just so I could play this Master Chef guy.

When I finally realized that I’d missed seeing an &#8216;I’, and that the character was actually a faceless super-soldier my sense of disappointment was massive; it felt like one of those moments as a kid where your naive illusions get shattered. And my desire to play the game entirely disappeared—in truth I still kind of resent it for letting me down, even if it was all my own fault.


----------



## Dr. Feelgood (Jun 11, 2014)

Goreki said:


> When I was little, I wanted to walk around the mall I work in now dressed as Rainbow Brite. I get to stand out the front of my shop dressed like a Sylvanian Families rabbit once a year though, which is a close second.



I'd _really_ like to see a picture of that!


----------



## djudex (Jun 11, 2014)

Tad said:


> Somehow this ^^^^^^ doesn't surprise me....
> =================================
> 
> I guess that when I first read about the game &#8216;Halo’ I mis-read the character title, which led me to read other things about the game in a certain light, which made me rather like the sound of the game. I mean, when everyone else has been taken down, the freaking cook turns out to be a total bad-ass and tears through the enemy as an unstoppable force? It was almost enough to make me go buy a game console, just so I could play this Master Chef guy.
> ...



Funny you should say this because one of my favourite video games for the 3D0 was PO'ed which is in fact that exact story line.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PO%27ed


----------



## loopytheone (Jun 12, 2014)

I think I just had another moment last night that sums me up quite well. My sister and I were discussing the new pokemon mega-evolutions revealed and my sister mentioned Diance and how she figured they would be doing an event give away soon. I agreed that it was likely to fit in with the new movie featuring Diance, which I couldn't remember the name of ended up calling 'Diance and the fucking amazing stone' which just cracked my sister up completely!


----------



## Durin (Jun 18, 2014)

When I was a freshman in High School I asked an older girl to go Horseback riding. 

It was my hope that after seeing my manly horse handling skills an actual date might commence in the future. The Day of Horseback riding arrived and I was feeling slightly unwell. I carried on anyway. Halfway though our trek I called a halt handed her my reigns and proceeded to puke my guts out. Somehow I missed the callback on that one.


----------



## bayone (Jun 18, 2014)

Durin said:


> The Day of Horseback riding arrived and I was feeling slightly unwell. I carried on anyway. .



Oh dear. I sort of had the reverse of that in college: a secret admirer sent me a note and a theatre ticket, and I therefore couldn't call on the night of the play to say "not actually feeling that well -- rain check?" I made it through the show, but threw up in the coffee shop afterwards. 

Fortunately I wasn't into him anyway and he's now married to someone else and has a kid (I see them on the bus sometimes).


----------



## Durin (Jun 20, 2014)

After I proposed to my wife I went on a fishing trip without her.

Like an hr after

And she married me anyway


----------



## Goreki (Jun 20, 2014)

Getting dressed for work this morning, super cold so I was wearing my favourite black leggings. I get to work, take off my wraps and realise that in getting dressed I HAD FORGOTTEN TO PUT MY FUCKING SKIRT ON.

Leggings are NOT PANTS.

I used one of my wraps as a skirt, ran to City Chic and found this cute black pleather skirt for $15. 

So all in all, not too bad a morning


----------



## Saisha (Jun 20, 2014)

This thread is great! 

Here's a few of mine:

1). We lived on a cul-de-sac when I was very young. When I was about 3, there was a large black dog known to bite children that lived a few streets over. One day it got loose and was coming down our street - all the neighborhood kids went running indoors - I went running towards the dog yelling "Doggie Doggie" - it sat down and let me put my arms around it to pet it.
I was also known to feed the vicious dogs next door some of my ice cream cone - they'd take a lick (through the fence), I'd take a lick and so forth.

2). When I was 16, my sister & I were staying with my father and his then fiance' for the first time. My father had a violent temper and was very abusive but had sworn he was changing. We had gone to a gun show and I saw a revolver that looked identical to one my mom had had when they were married. I mentioned it to him and he started acting weird - got very quiet. We went home, and I took a nap due to having a bad sinus headache. When I got up a couple of hours later, we were to decide how to handle dinner - his fiance' had to work nightshift and we were leaving the next day to head home. My sister, his fiance' and I were talking quietly in the living-room and she decided to go ask him (he was laying down and watching tv in their room) - they had the door shut. Next thing I know he started yelling at her for no good reason etc. She came out ghostly white - we asked her quietly what happened, she honestly didn't know. The next thing we knew, he came charging out bellowing crap and all - I don't remember this but my sister says I was clenching and unclenching my fist. I looked at him and told him even though he swore he was changing, he never had and never would. And I walked past him into the bathroom and shut/locked the door and leaned against it. My father was 6'3 and built like a linebacker and just as strong - wasn't sure what he was going to do. I remember hearing him say what the bleep was she talking about and looking in the mirror and telling myself if I didn't face him then, I would never live it down. So, I calmly walked back out and he came over trying to bully me - he got very quiet (when he was his most dangerous) and said just what the hell did you mean by that? I said you know damn well what I mean - he knew I could have taken him on physically if I had had to (weightlifting and doing swimming in HS had me in good muscle tone even at 225pds). He took a long look at me as I just didn't care any more - he backed off and said we could leave then. I said no. We will leave in the morning as planned. He said he was going for a walk and we better be gone by then. Again, I said no. We're going to dinner and then we will leave in the morning. Which we did. 

When us girls got to his fiance's car, she broke down sobbing, so did I. She wanted to go after him as she had never seen him like this but I said no. Let him cool off. So we went out to dinner at a Chinese restaurant. Only other people there were a brother and sister - he started getting very ill looking at the table (they were across the restaurant from us) and he had to leave - they had to walk right past us to get out - when he was a few feet away from us, he couldn't hold in his stomach contents any longer and let it spew - within inches of my feet on the floor. Everyone looked horrified - they ran out - (neither had eaten there) - the youngest waiter got stuck having to clean up the mess and looked so pathetic at my feet. It was after he got done, (mind you all this happened with all of us being super quiet), I took one look at my sister and I roared with laughter - I just couldn't help myself - the night had turned so bizarre by then!!!!

And so we had a great time at dinner, she went to work, we went back, my father didn't say one word to us, we drove home the next day in a little Chevy Vega he had given us that he had drove across country in, the windshield heater vents not working, my sister at the steering wheel and both of us with our heads hanging out the windows trying to see where we were going from the Bay Area to So. CA in torrential rains - oh yeah, it was a fun trip!


----------



## loopytheone (Jun 21, 2014)

Wow, Saisha, that takes a huge amount of strength to stand up to your father like that. I am hugely impressed that you stood up to him that way!


----------



## Saisha (Jun 21, 2014)

Thanks - it wasn't the first time I had stood my ground with him - the other main time was when I was 12 - his parents were coming over for a visit from out of town - we had cleaned my sister's bedroom (where they would be staying) until it was spotless but he still found fault - so he decided to get out his belt and have at it - he spanked my sister who was 15, then it was my turn - something in me just snapped and I refused to cry - clenched my jaw really hard - he saw that I wasn't crying so decided to hit me again - he had a thick leather belt and both it and his belt buckle left a couple of scars from how hard he hit me - but I still refused to cry in front of him (I broke down later in my room). I just wasn't going to let him win. It was shortly thereafter my parents split up thank God! 

it's funny about me - I get very protective of people I care about and won't think twice of doing what needs to be done to ensure everyone's safety yet when it comes to myself, sometimes I just freeze up - stupid I know :doh:


----------



## nohum2 (Jul 30, 2014)

Esther said:


> I was dating a guy for about 4 months. We had an elaborate date day planned on our mutual day off - lunch at a nice restaurant, a hike and a movie. He called me that morning and said, "Esther, I know this is a long shot, but I gotta ask... my buddy just gave me a ticket for Slayer tonight in Toronto. I'd have to scrap our whole plan today to go with him. What are the odds you won't hate me if I go?"
> My response was, "IT'S SLAYER. Please go."
> He declared me a keeper on that day.



Where abouts are you that he could go to Toronto on short notice? Just curious being a scarborough native.


----------



## agouderia (Apr 8, 2016)

Reviving this thread on explicit wish from ODFFA.... 

Maybe also time to include one of my own:
I have what could be called 'underlayer phobia' - absolutely hate having to wear things like tights under pants (like when it's super cold) or under-/t-shirts under sweaters/blouses/shirts. 
Have had that since childhood, then got in constant fights with my mother who believes in bundling up. She in essence is right, because in my case this phobia is not related to me getting hot easily. On the contrary, I like my world nice and warm and tend to be cold very quickly. Solution to that - as Xyantha said - always draping lots of scarves over me.


----------



## rabbitislove (Apr 9, 2016)

The most defining/telling story about me is that when I was growing up from birth to about eight years old, I lived on a small block with no other kids. Both my parents worked full time so my sister and I were raised partially by our grandparents and were always spending time with them and their friends. It would explain why I grew up to be a geriatric social worker/counselor who doesn't want children


----------



## Xyantha Reborn (May 3, 2016)

I am a purely functional being; I don't like clutter, and retain only about five small sentimenta objects. When something is no longer needed, it is donated or trashed. My horse? A single shoe. My dog? His collar and ashes. Wedding? A few photos and the ring.

So I find it weird, even in myself, that I have this instinctual urge to "horde" undies. Like, I will have 10 pairs. I get 10 new ones, and my brain tells to kwep the original 10...just in case.

Just in case of what!? A small flood in the bedroom that only a tangle of worn panties can hold at bay!?

It is the only thing I tend to cling to, though. 

I suppose it is because it is so hard to find comfortable underwear, that throwing them out is painful. 

But still goddamn weird, IMO.


----------



## loopytheone (May 9, 2016)

Two about me from this weekend, showcasing my weird sense of humour!

First one, I was out for dinner with my extended family (all the aunts, our honorary aunt and her kids, my mother and sister) and the topic turned to my sister and how she was bullied by my brother growing up. For context, my brother committed suicide several years ago. My sister mentioned that he always seemed to have the upper hand over her, to which I replied with 'Well, I guess you got the last laugh in the end though, right?' in my usual deadpan tone. My aunts were absolutely appalled by that joke but my mother found it absolutely hilarious. 

As for the second one, I honestly don't know if this says more about me or my other half, but we were skyping together and talking about various food gifts I've gotten from people on feabie. This included 15 boxes of shortbread fingers and I mentioned that I only had three boxes left and I was going to starve when they ran out. He proceeded to tell me that I wasn't going to starve without shortbread, because he doesn't have any shortbread and... he basically just trailed off there, took one look at me smirking and told me to shut up before I even said anything.  We are both trolls and poke fun at each other all the time and he was right, I was just about to make a comment about his chubbiness. But like I told him, you can't tell me to shut up because you insulted yourself in your own head!


----------



## Tad (Jun 2, 2016)

We moved when I was eight years old, from a small town to a suburban neighborhood. On our dead-end street (how much more suburban can you get, right?) there was two kids roughly my age, a boy in my grade at my school, and a girl a year younger who went to the catholic school instead of the one I was at. Naturally I figured Id be friends with the boy, and as a bonus he was kind of chunky, and his parents were really fat, amongst the fattest people Id met (to be clear, Id not met very many fat people in my life, but at the time they were probably both over three hundred pounds). I really wanted to be friends with him, but we never did get along very well. We did do stuff after school quite a bit the first year that I lived there, a bit in the second year, and pretty much not after that.

Oddly he was the first person that I knew I disagreed with about politics. See, Id moved from Manitoba, where the NDP party (prairie socialists) had been in power for a few years, and they had provincialized part of the auto-insurance market (all liability insurance was done through a provincial insurance company). Id moved into Ontario where the NDP were perpetually the third party, but doing something similar with the auto insurance market was in their platform, and his father was an insurance agent. So the boy was adamantly against the NDP and knew that their insurance policy was a horrible thing, while of course I tended to think that everything was better where Id come from, so of course the NDP were OK and their insurance move had made sense. 

After we discovered that difference, I learned to avoid politics with him. We also were different in so many ways, so by the second year after we moved there I wasnt playing with him much and by the third year barely at all, and we went our own ways over the years.

I still happen to think that Manitobas provincialized liability insurance system makes sense (last I heard, fees were in part baked into your drivers license cost, so that if you had racked up a lot of demerit points it cost you a lot more to be allowed to drive, period). More broadly Im not particularly socialist, but Im a not untypical centrist Canadian, which would put me on the left wing of things in the US I guess (that supporting glbtq rights and universal health care is considered left wing in the USA is something I still find a bit mind-boggling). Id connected with former neighbour on Facebook some time ago, and every year or so think to take a look at his timeline and see how hes doing. Hes been living in the US for years, and on his timeline recently he had re-posted a classic republican heres how dumb liberals are joke.

It makes me wonder, was it just our personalities that would have led us to these kinds of political leanings in the long run anyway? Or did that early clash give us each an early political identity which then led us to identify with certain positions, cascading to where we are now?


----------



## Xyantha Reborn (Jun 15, 2016)

I felt the (uncommon) urge to spend money, but didn't immediately need anything. So I went to Shoppers Drug Mart, and dropped about 100 bucks prepurchasing essentials, such as condoms, zantac, and i went "ca ray zy" and bought some melatonin to try.

I don't enjoy clothes, nicknaks, etc. So my spending is always practica; either on stuff i need, or improving my dwelling.

Except where it relates to my dogs, then i have no problem dropping hundreds of bucks on supplies and competitions.


----------



## loopytheone (Jun 15, 2016)

I think I had a moment that sums up my whole over excited/stimulated aspie self pretty well earlier. I got a new washing machine, the first one that I have ever personally owned, and sent my bf this message:

"The washing machine is in! It is washing things! Things are spinning round and water is happening! I'm excited and scared!!!"

Followed by:

"My towels are rolling over and over and over!!! =D" 

...yes, I was running between watching the washing machine and my typing on my laptop in the other room to give him status updates on it whilst he was at work. Happy-flappy-stimmy hands all the way and everything.


----------



## Crumbling (Jun 17, 2016)

I am known to make dinosaur noises while operating earth moving equipment.


----------



## Xyantha Reborn (Jun 17, 2016)

species of dinosaur? I need more information to properly visualize


----------



## Crumbling (Jun 18, 2016)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> species of dinosaur? I need more information to properly visualize



Its all fairly generic. RAArrring And chomping noises.


----------

