# Should I make the first move?



## Dolce (Dec 30, 2010)

I am a nursing student. In clinicals the other day I was assigned to a nurse who is known for giving students a hard time. I had met him once before, but he didn't intimidate me. He just seemed like a an intelligent, fit, sometimes cocky type of guy. The first thing I noticed when I went to speak with him about report was that he had gained 10-15 pounds. I thought he looked really good. Then I noticed he wasn't giving me a hard time. He was actually making these fragile eyes at me. I don't quite know how to explain it but I felt he was attracted to me and I also felt an emotional pull towards him. Throughout the shift he made small talk with me and praised my work with my assigned patient. Whenever I looked in his face or watched him as he walked away I could feel his slight insecurity and awkwardness. I didn't understand why, as he is a great looking man! Once I went home I added him to my facebook. After looking through his pictures I saw that he used to be really big. Probably close to 300 pounds. He was still a handsome guy then... He doesn't have a girlfriend and from what I can tell hasn't had one in a long time.

I know I may just be kidding myself thinking we had a connection but honestly I feel like this is someone I might be able to relate to... We are both into a lot of the same things. I know he works out a lot and is into health.. and I ADORE male nurses. I think any man who wants to deal with the things nurses see on a daily basis is a-ok in my book. I'm rambling now but here is the thing.... I know how it feels to be fat.. and that feeling never goes away. No matter how fit I get, being fat is still a part of me, and it annoys me when I lose weight and guys start showing me all this attention. I think, "you didn't give a shit about me when I was big so why would I give you the time of day now?" Hell, with my luck I'll probably get fat again. So I understand the fat mentality all too well and wonder if he has that going on inside his brain. Granted this fat empathy is not the extent of my attraction to him.

I left a comment on one of his facebook posts but I always worry I am coming on too strong. I suppose I wasn't.. he said something about baking a tofu/pumpkin pie and I told him that sounded like it could be good and asked what kind of crust he used.. then I said some nerdy thing like 'enjoy your phytonutrients' and now I feel like a total cheeseball. I have been hurt and rejected in the past so I don't want to approach him only to turn him off. He knows a lot of people I go to school with so I don't want to be teased either. In my experience a guy who really likes you will make the first move... and I don't want to come across as aggressive. But I like him so much and can't stop thinking about him! What should I do?!!! P.S. he is 25 and I am 26. Please help me!!!


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## cakeboy (Dec 30, 2010)

Life is short and mostly brutal. Go for it!


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## Bearsy (Dec 30, 2010)

^ My thoughts exactly


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## CastingPearls (Dec 30, 2010)

If you don't try, how will you know? Life is too short not to try. Love (or whatever you want out of this) is worth the risk, IMO.


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## Dolce (Dec 30, 2010)

Bearsy said:


> ^ My thoughts exactly



How should I go about it? I noticed on his FB he is often lamenting his weight. He seems to go up and down all the time. Which is fine.. I am a feedee at heart but prefer not to go very far with those fantasies. And I was thinking, (fantasizing I admit), what if he is into weight gain, too.. that would be so hot! We could role play then go work out together.. but I digress.. I am getting way ahead of myself. All I have is his FB... should I message him? Bug him while he is available for chat? And what should I say? Maybe ask him about his workouts since that is something I am into as well...??? I just don't know what to do to avoid coming across as desperate. And guys, how do you feel about a woman approaching you? Is it a turn off? A lot of people tell me it is... HALP!


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## Dolce (Dec 30, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> If you don't try, how will you know? Life is too short not to try. Love (or whatever you want out of this) is worth the risk, IMO.



I want LOVE :smitten::smitten::smitten::smitten: Always have always will but I never seem to find it :doh:


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## Zowie (Dec 30, 2010)

Ask him out! That would be so cool. And if it doesn't work out, well, what do you have to lose anyway?
Better do it now while you're still *somewhat* detached than later when you have his pictures posted all over your bathroom or whatever. He won't break your heart. 
Worse scenario - He says nay.
Best - LOVE!

I'm excited for you. Get your ass out there, and don't post until we see some results.


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## MasterShake (Dec 30, 2010)

+1 everything in this thread. 

Ask him out to a meal or some drinks/pool/darts/whatever. Make it a group thing if you want. Lament not having a boyfriend when in earshot. Ask him how you look when your around him in non-work clothing. 

Basically keep feeding him openings to express any attraction or interest he has in a "safe" way, ie he can say something without having to initiate it cold.


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## Paquito (Dec 30, 2010)

Pounce on him.


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## Zowie (Dec 30, 2010)

Pull the kinky nurse trick on him!


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## Paquito (Dec 30, 2010)

Bendddddddddd... AND SNAP


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## Zowie (Dec 30, 2010)

Paquito said:


> Bendddddddddd... AND SNAP



Next time I need to score a hot date, I'm asking you for advice.


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## BLUEeyedBanshee (Dec 30, 2010)

I say go for it...if you feel more comfortable with some more small talk before you "pounce on him" then go that route. But if not, just pounce away!


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## Paquito (Dec 30, 2010)

Zowie said:


> Next time I need to score a hot date, I'm asking you for advice.



In my experience, it has a 98% success rate in getting a man's attention AND, when used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.

My mother taught it to me in junior high.


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## Bearsy (Dec 30, 2010)

This is relevant:


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## MasterShake (Dec 30, 2010)

Paquito said:


> My mother taught it to me in junior high.


And I taught your mother that when you were in elementary school!


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## FishCharming (Dec 30, 2010)

i love when women make the first move, unless it's like a super aggressive first move, then it's just kind of embarrassing. 

ask him out to coffee. it's completely innocent and gives you a chance to talk to him and get to know him. then if coffee goes well you can suggest drinks or dinner or coitus, ya know, whatever. 

seriously though, coffee is the best litmus test out there.


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## BigChaz (Dec 30, 2010)

Rape the fuck out of him


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## Melian (Dec 31, 2010)

BigChaz said:


> Rape the fuck out of him



Now now, rape isn't funny. Unless you're raping a clown.

(yeah, I use that one all the time...eff off)


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## thekidstable (Dec 31, 2010)

sounds to me like a classic case of _you like a shy dude_. don't fret though,_ you like a shy dude_ usually responds very well to our _ask shy dude out_ treatment. Research has shown that this effective, non-invasive procedure has been known to heal _you like a shy dude _into typical, healthy _cute relationship with dude_ in as little as one session.


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## lovelocs (Dec 31, 2010)

Don't know much about nursing, or the expectations for clinicals, but some schools have rules about fraternization. I know mine does.
Maybe I would wait until I no longer have a professional connection to him.
If he is supposed to be assessing your work, I wouldn't want to create any hint of impropriety. 

After that, sky's the limit.


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## CastingPearls (Dec 31, 2010)

Melian said:


> Now now, rape isn't funny. Unless you're raping a clown.
> 
> (yeah, I use that one all the time...eff off)


But it's hilarious if you rape it with a monkey.


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## MasterShake (Dec 31, 2010)

Melian said:


> Now now, rape isn't funny. Unless you're raping a clown.



Dude, clowns ain't funny.

Now, if you were raping Demitri Martin....


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## Dolce (Jan 2, 2011)

Thank you all for listening and responding to my dilemma. I have decided that I am going to wait this out. I have no idea if he even likes me but my intuition tells me that he does. I know myself and I know my life path... if this is meant to be then we will cross paths again and he will take the initiative. I do plan on using the bend and snap technique, though. And then hopefully raping him at some point


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## MasterShake (Jan 3, 2011)

You do have to be true to yourself, I understand that, but I would really ask you to reconsider taking the passive route.

I have done this every time I've been in a situation where I was interested but couldn't tell how she thought about me, and every time nothing came of it. I can't say how many were interested or were not, but I know at least one who was, and I regret it to this day that I never attempted to take it further.

Embarrassing yourself, or being rejected, it does hurt. But long term I don't think they hurt as much as regret does.

Just my .02 cents, FWIW (which is probably not a lot)....


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## Tad (Jan 3, 2011)

lovelocs said:


> Don't know much about nursing, or the expectations for clinicals, but some schools have rules about fraternization. I know mine does.
> Maybe I would wait until I no longer have a professional connection to him.
> If he is supposed to be assessing your work, I wouldn't want to create any hint of impropriety.
> 
> After that, sky's the limit.



I agree with that.....but would also point out that if he is perhaps a bit shy, romantically speaking, and has high ethics, he may consider asking you out to be totally off limits....he is relatively speaking in a position of power over you, so he could feel it would be unfair.

So I'd say: make your feelings pretty clear, but wait until this rotation (or whatever) that has you training under him to be done. I think your facebook comment was perfect--a bit of goofy teasing is cool  Now ask him sometime, face to face, how it was. Like some of his pictures, maybe flirt mildly at work when you are not working directly with him (like, pass him in the hall and say something like "Hey, the scenery around here just got better." Or something less corny than tha  ).

Or to put it in another way, take the current situation as a perfect opportunity to flirt and get to know him.


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## Dolce (Jan 12, 2011)

I have some updates to give you all. First and foremost I want to make it clear that he is in no way shape or form in a position of authority over me. When I attend clinicals I am assigned a patient but because I am a student that patient also has a registered nurse assigned to him/her. If I run into any problems then I am supposed to seek the assistance of the RN. I am done with my clinicals of his floor anyhow and most likely will not be working with him directly in the future, though we may cross paths. 

Here is what has happened. If you read my first post you will remember that I commented on his tofu pie after I added him on facebook. 2 weeks later, this past Saturday, my brother and I were hanging out and he posted that he walked up and down the stairs for 20 minutes after work and his legs felt like jello. Just being silly and flirty I replied, "Hmmmm jello sounds pretty good right now." About 5 other people responded to his status but when he responded all he said was, "Hey, that pie I made with tofu turned out great!" So I knew he was talking to me. I messaged him and said I would like to chat with him and asked if he had YM. He wrote back and said that he didn't have YM but if I wanted to chat on FB he would be game. That night when I got back from the gym I saw that he was idling on FB so I sent him a message saying I would be on later if he wanted to chat but if he had to work the next day we could always chat another time. Since that day we have both been online but neither of us has messaged each other. And honestly I feel like I have obsessed over this so much that my energy is going to suck but he seems like the OCD type, too. I am just feeling super frustrated and feeling like I will be on social security by the time we finish a whole paragraph. Am I acting stupid or what??? I'm overanalyzing this.. I have no idea how he feels about me so I am afraid my energy is going to come across as being overly intense and anxious. You all helped me to come this far.. what with messaging him and all. And I think that fact that he responded to me and only me about that pie two weeks after the question was asked means something but who knows... HELP!!!!! I want this guy in my bedroom soooooo bad!!!!


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## Dolce (Jan 12, 2011)

Dolce said:


> I have some updates to give you all. First and foremost I want to make it clear that he is in no way shape or form in a position of authority over me. When I attend clinicals I am assigned a patient but because I am a student that patient also has a registered nurse assigned to him/her. If I run into any problems then I am supposed to seek the assistance of the RN. I am done with my clinicals of his floor anyhow and most likely will not be working with him directly in the future, though we may cross paths.
> 
> Here is what has happened. If you read my first post you will remember that I commented on his tofu pie after I added him on facebook. 2 weeks later, this past Saturday, my brother and I were hanging out and he posted that he walked up and down the stairs for 20 minutes after work and his legs felt like jello. Just being silly and flirty I replied, "Hmmmm jello sounds pretty good right now." About 5 other people responded to his status but when he responded all he said was, "Hey, that pie I made with tofu turned out great!" So I knew he was talking to me. I messaged him and said I would like to chat with him and asked if he had YM. He wrote back and said that he didn't have YM but if I wanted to chat on FB he would be game. That night when I got back from the gym I saw that he was idling on FB so I sent him a message saying I would be on later if he wanted to chat but if he had to work the next day we could always chat another time. Since that day we have both been online but neither of us has messaged each other. And honestly I feel like I have obsessed over this so much that my energy is going to suck but he seems like the OCD type, too. I am just feeling super frustrated and feeling like I will be on social security by the time we finish a whole paragraph. Am I acting stupid or what??? I'm overanalyzing this.. I have no idea how he feels about me so I am afraid my energy is going to come across as being overly intense and anxious. You all helped me to come this far.. what with messaging him and all. And I think that fact that he responded to me and only me about that pie two weeks after the question was asked means something but who knows... HELP!!!!! I want this guy in my bedroom soooooo bad!!!!



Oh that feels so much better...


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## MasterShake (Jan 12, 2011)

It's hard to say, but based on how you described it, my guess is he was waiting for you to initiate a chat session.

As I understand it, you were the one to bring up Yahoo, and then later said you'd be around later for a FB chat. It could be that he didn't want to look too aggressive (might not be the best word) by instantly IM'ing you the moment you returned to FB, and since you didn't start a chat, he may not be sure how you'd take him starting one a day later or whatever.

Next time he's on, I'd suggest starting a chat. You can even start it as "hey, you free to chat, or is there a good time later?" Do that via chat instead of email, because then if he's available, you can start chatting right away, no worries about continuing an email tag, especially if it's BOTH of you that are worried about coming off as too eager or aggressive or whatever.

I like your jello comment, btw. Really clever IMO and I don't think it hurts to do a little light flirting/teasing with a guy to show interest, even if some of us BHMs require the flirting to be as light as a frying pan to get the hint. 

Anyways, I wish you continued good luck on your pursuit of this lucky guy.


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## CastingPearls (Jan 12, 2011)

One quick question---If this guy does really like you--why isn't he pursuing YOU?


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## MasterShake (Jan 12, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> One quick question---If this guy does really like you--why isn't he pursuing YOU?


Some guys are just shy, or maybe want to be sure there's interest before pursuing - he could be unsure if she's genuinely interested, or if he's just misinterpreting her signals as her being nice or just her style.

You'd be surprised how dense a guy can be.


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## CastingPearls (Jan 12, 2011)

MasterShake said:


> Some guys are just shy, or maybe want to be sure there's interest before pursuing - he could be unsure if she's genuinely interested, or if he's just misinterpreting her signals as her being nice or just her style.
> 
> You'd be surprised how dense a guy can be.


Actually, I do know how dense a guy can be.


She did express interest. She wanted to chat. I'm not saying to pursue her to propose to her --I'm saying to initiate a freakin conversation on chat.....


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## MasterShake (Jan 12, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> Actually, I do know how dense a guy can be.
> 
> 
> She did express interest. She wanted to chat. I'm not saying to pursue her to propose to her --I'm saying to initiate a freakin conversation on chat.....


I don't recall mentioning marriage. But if they sorta work together, I can see him not wanting to make a pass if he's not sure she's open, to avoid feeling awkward if he has to work with her again in the future.

YMMV, of course.


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## scorpioinco (Jan 12, 2011)

Regret is always harder to overcome than a moment of embarrassment. Do eet!


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## CastingPearls (Jan 12, 2011)

MasterShake said:


> I don't recall mentioning marriage. But if they sorta work together, I can see him not wanting to make a pass if he's not sure she's open, to avoid feeling awkward if he has to work with her again in the future.
> 
> YMMV, of course.


You didn't have to mention marriage. I think that many people jump to conclusions or think in absolutes or extremes when all someone wants to do is TALK.

IMO, of course.


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## Zowie (Jan 12, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> You didn't have to mention marriage. I think that many people jump to conclusions or think in absolutes or extremes when all someone wants to do is TALK.
> 
> IMO, of course.



Are you kidding? I've been planning this Mexican/Indian wedding for nearly a year now.


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## Dolce (Jan 12, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> You didn't have to mention marriage. I think that many people jump to conclusions or think in absolutes or extremes when all someone wants to do is TALK.
> 
> IMO, of course.


 
Personally, I think both of you are correct. He may be a late bloomer, from what I can tell he has not had a girlfriend in at least 3 years. I haven't had a BF in 5 years but I did bloom very early. I guess I am making up for it now. Casting Pearls is right, though. Some people, and maybe this guy, feel like you are practically asking to set a date when all you want to do is get to know a person and see if you are compatible as friends. I feel this could be the case, partly. If he is inexperienced and insecure he may feel that any sign of interest is tantamount to a proposal. Or... he could just not be interested in me. I really HATE pursuing men. It gives me anxiety. I already expressed interest and would soon become annoyed if I had to continue doing so. At some point he has to pick up the ball. If he can't, it obviously wasn't meant to be. So we will see.. but I appreciate any and all opinions... I see truth in all of them. We'll play it by ear. But at 26 I am not privy to playing games on FB. Cest la vie!


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## HeavyDuty24 (Jan 12, 2011)

ah yes those first moves are always hard.it sucks when fear of akwardness can set in if things go aray.but i say go for it,life is too short,if it dosen't work out there's always plenty of fish in the sea.


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## lovelocs (Jan 12, 2011)

Tell him you're interested. 
Initiate conversation. 
Ask him out. 
Jump his bones.

*Do something*, and let us all know how that works.


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## CastingPearls (Jan 12, 2011)

lovelocs said:


> Tell him you're interested.
> Initiate conversation.
> Ask him out.
> Jump his bones.
> ...


Also good advice!


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Jan 13, 2011)

Reach down your pants, and pull out your balls, look at them for a minute, make sure they're clean and just message him. 

none of thise "Hey are you free?" shit, a simple "Hey, how's it going?" works for two reasons. If you ask him if he's free, you're already starting with giving him an out, fuck that noise. You want him in your bedroom, just start talking. if he's really not free, he'll tell you. 

Just start up a conversation about anything, since you work together it'll be easier. "Hey, how's it going? blah blah blah, something reminded me of you at work today, some lady's IV fell out and blood was squirting EVERY WHERE!!!" or anything, you get what I'm saying right. 

I've just found that a simple "Hey, how are you/how's it going/let's fuck" works wonders. 

I'd say "good luck" but luck is for the ill-prepared. with all of our advice, you're plenty prepared. Go get him.


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## Zowie (Jan 13, 2011)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> Reach down your pants, and pull out your balls, look at them for a minute, make sure they're clean and just message him.
> 
> none of thise "Hey are you free?" shit, a simple "Hey, how's it going?" works for two reasons. If you ask him if he's free, you're already starting with giving him an out, fuck that noise. You want him in your bedroom, just start talking. if he's really not free, he'll tell you.
> 
> ...



"SHOW ME DEM TITS" is how he got me.


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Jan 13, 2011)

Zowie said:


> "SHOW ME DEM TITS" is how he got me.



Believe in it.


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## Paquito (Jan 13, 2011)

Zowie said:


> "SHOW ME DEM TITS" is how he got me.



I thought it was the other way around.


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## Tad (Jan 13, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> One quick question---If this guy does really like you--why isn't he pursuing YOU?



I dont know this guy at all, obviously, so I have no clue what is actually up, but Ill mention one possibility: an over-developed sense of being gentlemanly can make some guys avoid making any move in a situation where they feel they have a power advantage. He is established there, she is just on rotations, it gives him a position of greater power, to hit on her could make her feel trapped in some way if she did not welcome it.and given that he is a bigger guy he may be very doubtful that she is actually interested.

Obviously the above is based on my own experiences. It wasnt until my now wife came up to me at a party, put an arm around my waist, kept it there for the rest of the evening, and hauled me off to a park to make out that I began to think that just maybe she was actually interested. Up until then, despite a fair bit of flirting, I had considered her off limits for being in her first year at uni when I was in my final year, and that any flirting was because I was safe to flirt with because obviously I was not someone shed be serious about. Even then I took things pretty slow, so that once sober she wouldnt feel obliged by her actions when tipsy.

Like I said, this may not be the case at all, just one possibility.

I agree that the next time you see him on FB, you should just start chattering at him, and see what happens. Or really, just say this IM thing isnt working well, lets be old fashioned and chat face to face. Starbucks in 45 minutes? or something like that. Words can be interpreted a lot of different ways.actions and facial expressions are harder to explain away.


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Jan 13, 2011)

Tad said:


> I dont know this guy at all, obviously, so I have no clue what is actually up, but Ill mention one possibility: an over-developed sense of being gentlemanly can make some guys avoid making any move in a situation where they feel they have a power advantage. He is established there, she is just on rotations, it gives him a position of greater power, to hit on her could make her feel trapped in some way if she did not welcome it.and given that he is a bigger guy he may be very doubtful that she is actually interested.
> 
> Obviously the above is based on my own experiences. It wasnt until my now wife came up to me at a party, put an arm around my waist, kept it there for the rest of the evening, and hauled me off to a park to make out that I began to think that just maybe she was actually interested. Up until then, despite a fair bit of flirting, I had considered her off limits for being in her first year at uni when I was in my final year, and that any flirting was because I was safe to flirt with because obviously I was not someone shed be serious about. Even then I took things pretty slow, so that once sober she wouldnt feel obliged by her actions when tipsy.
> 
> ...



You hit the nail on the head, on all accounts. The Gentlemanly part, the confusion about her being interested, and the starbucks comment. 

If you weren't a straight male, I'd gobble you up in a heartbeat!


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## gobettiepurple (Jan 13, 2011)

aren't gentlemen supposed to have an air of class, and thus be the one to make the first move, no matter what the circumstances? 

using a "gentleman" excuse seems like a cop out to me, but I'm just saying . . . IMO.


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## Dolce (Jan 13, 2011)

I'm chatting with him right now!!!


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## Dolce (Jan 13, 2011)

He asked me out!!!!!!


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## CastingPearls (Jan 13, 2011)

Dolce said:


> He asked me out!!!!!!


That's awesome!!!!!! Good luck!


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## Zowie (Jan 13, 2011)

So, in exchange for our help, we demand Porn.


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## JulieD (Jan 13, 2011)

Dolce said:


> He asked me out!!!!!!


YAY first dates!


Zowie said:


> So, in exchange for our help, we demand Porn.


YAY porn!


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Jan 13, 2011)

Dolce said:


> I'm chatting with him right now!!!



how did it start? what happened? 

The Hens demand DETAILS!!!


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## CastingPearls (Jan 13, 2011)

Zowie said:


> So, in exchange for our help, we demand Porn.


pornpornpornpornpornpornpornplz?


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## MasterShake (Jan 13, 2011)

Dolce said:


> He asked me out!!!!!!



Hooray!! Just as I expected. Good luck!


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Jan 13, 2011)

Nevermind . . . statement retracted.


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## Paquito (Jan 14, 2011)

Dolce said:


> He asked me out!!!!!!



I'm so excited it almost feels like he asked ME out. :wubu:

Details plz.


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## Tad (Jan 17, 2011)

Dolce said:


> He asked me out!!!!!!



Woohoo!


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## Dolce (Jan 18, 2011)

Trust me I would love to give you all some porn... that would be some damn erotic porn! So here is how it went...

Last Thursday I had a casual date with a guy I know from the health food store. He was going to teach me how to cross country ski. We wound up going about a mile into the woods by the river when he began texting like a moron. Then he tells me he has a client who wants a massage (he's a massage therapist, too) and would it be alright to just leave me there to find my way back. I said fine and began trudging my back back. Of course it was dusk so it got dark quickly and I got lost but I found my way back alright. I was very hurt by this and called up my girlfriends to go out for dinner. As I thought about it more, the more dejected I felt. 

When I got home from dinner I went online and saw the guy I like online so I messaged him asking, "how are you doing?" We began talking and hit it off right away. Even though joking and sarcasm can be taken the wrong way online we were in tune with each other. At some point be began talking about working out and he said he liked to be active. I then replied that I did, too but that I had become entirely too chubby over the holidays. He said he had too and was trying to lose weight but that he loved food too much. I said that food was yummy most definitely to which he replied that was his problem he could be so stuffed but just want to keep eating because he loves the taste. Of course he was giving me the horny ghost!!! I then inquired if I could ask him a question. He make some joke but then asked me what the question was. I said, "Are you single?" He took about a minute (and let me tell you this man writes well but has terrible grammar and punctuation) then replied, "Yes, I am single." I said, "geez, took you long enough." He said he was talking to his Dad (who he lives with) and we began teasing back and forth. Then he asked if I had a man. I told him no and he asked why. I told him about my bad luck and he asked me to explain so I told him (in a sentence) what had happened to me earlier that day. He was appalled. I told him it was alright... I was glad to learn to ski and that I wanted to go snow shoeing next. That's when he said he had an extra pair of snow shoes and that he would take me sometime. I was like, "really?" and he said, "yes, I would like to take you." So I asked what he was doing this weekend. Turns out he was free on the day that I had to work so he said we could figure something out for this week. I then told him sound great but I have to get to the gym before they close. He then gave me his number. I texted him right away so he would have mine. 

The next night I texted him asking how work was going and that I had fun talking with him. He wrote back saying that work was well and that "I had a good time talking to you!" I texted him back the next morning asking if he had any big plans for the weekend but he didn't text me back until, suprise, surprise exactly 3 days were up. So yesterday morning I get a text telling me that he wound up working on Sunday so he didn't do anything all weekend. He then proceeds to tell me that he got a new full time job in the Emergency Room and that he would be moving to the town I live in. Apparently he told me before he told his co-workers. We texted back and forth a bit more when he said that he was driving and that he would text me later. 

Later that night I dropped my phone in the toilet and while I was trying to dry it out and pressing all the buttons it called him! The screen flashed for a moment before it died completely and it said it was connected to his number!!!! I posted on FB that I had dropped my phone in the toilet and that if anyone wanted to get ahold on me to contact me on there but he hasn't. What should I do??? I really want to talk on the phone and go out with him this Saturday but it seems like he is still kind of shy or playing little games because he is not familiar with dating (the whole taking 3 days to text me back). And now I feel embarrassed that my phone called him. So I need more help to keep this ball rolling. 

I want to thank all of you so very much. Without your help I would not have come as far as I have. So thank you!!!!


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## Dolce (Jan 18, 2011)

So we wound up talking on the phone tonight for over an hour. We are going out on Saturday.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Jan 19, 2011)

Dolce said:


> So we wound up talking on the phone tonight for over an hour. We are going out on Saturday.




wow that is great,good luck!


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## MasterShake (Jan 19, 2011)

Dolce said:


> So we wound up talking on the phone tonight for over an hour. We are going out on Saturday.


Awesome, I think you know what you're doing and can trust in your own judgments about what to do. All I can say is don't give up and don't be afraid of being direct - I can only speak from what you've posted, but for example it seems like directly asking him if he was single seemed to be a lot more productive than trying to hint around that you were interested in him.

I know, or at least it sounds like, you're a bit frustrated that he's not being the more traditional male in terms of making the first moves, or being more aggressive in pursuing you. I don't know if he's shy, inexperienced as you mention him being, or just oblivious to your interest in him, or what, but it certainly sounds like he's receptive to you when your interest in him is made abundantly clear.

Maybe once you have a direct, flat out frank talk or a first date or whatever, maybe once he has that "aha!" moment that you are genuinely interested in him, he won't be playing (unintentionally?) so hard to get. I can fully understand how nerve-wracking and exhausting it can be when you're trying to send out signals to someone and they seem either uninterested or completely not getting it.

Anyways, enough armchair psychology from me. Please let us know how it goes, I'm really pulling for you and I hope for the best for you!!!


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## Dolce (Jan 19, 2011)

MasterShake said:


> Awesome, I think you know what you're doing and can trust in your own judgments about what to do. All I can say is don't give up and don't be afraid of being direct - I can only speak from what you've posted, but for example it seems like directly asking him if he was single seemed to be a lot more productive than trying to hint around that you were interested in him.
> 
> I know, or at least it sounds like, you're a bit frustrated that he's not being the more traditional male in terms of making the first moves, or being more aggressive in pursuing you. I don't know if he's shy, inexperienced as you mention him being, or just oblivious to your interest in him, or what, but it certainly sounds like he's receptive to you when your interest in him is made abundantly clear.
> 
> ...



I agree with what you said. When I was talking with him last night he made a point of explaining to me that he is really shy despite how he appears at work. He doesn't smoke, drink, or party and says he doesn't often let people get close to him. 

He will moving to the town I live in in the next few weeks. He kept telling me that he was coming down today to look for apartments. I guess he thought he was implying that he wanted to see me. But I had school and work all day today from 9AM to 7PM so I couldn't see him. After talking for an hour he said he had to go to sleep. That's when I said, "Hey, would you like to hang out with me?" He said yes. Then I said, "how about this weekend?" He was like okay I am free on Saturday and Sunday." Then I said, "Saturday. You'll take me out?" He said "I'll take you out." then I said, " Okay just call me. Please don't be shy with me." "I won't be shy with you." Then I said, "I am a nice girl." and we both said bye. I hope we do go out and he doesn't flake. But if he does then it just wasn't meant to be. I really like him and know he likes me but that he is unsure. I can feel him vacillate. One, he wants a good girl... and two, he is scared of being rejected when the 'true' him comes out, perceived warts and all. I hope and pray we can get this together because I have a feeling we might be truly compatible. We had a great time talking and laughed a lot... please pray or send good vibes my way. I will let you all know what happens after Saturday.


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## MasterShake (Jan 19, 2011)

Dolce said:


> I agree with what you said. When I was talking with him last night he made a point of explaining to me that he is really shy despite how he appears at work. He doesn't smoke, drink, or party and says he doesn't often let people get close to him.



Not to project, but I can be the same way. At heart I'm really shy, which tends to make me anxious in large crowds or situations where the attention is on me. As a result, if you asked most of my friends, they'd probably describe as an extrovert, 'life of the party' type guy, when I'm really not. I'm more compelled to be talkative than naturally comfortable with it.

Good luck! I'm sincerely hoping he knows what he has at hand and doesn't take the easy chicken way out due to nerves or anxiety or whatever.


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## Dolce (Jan 31, 2011)

We wound up going out and having a great time. He did open up to me about some of his personal problems.

I do like him and care for him but as time has progressed I see that he is not in a place where he can give and receive the love and affection needed to sustain a friendship, let alone a relationship. I will continue to care for him and be patient but I don't ever expect these eggs to hatch. Thanks to everyone for your advice. I am really glad I went out with him and feel I have matured from this whole thing.


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## MasterShake (Jan 31, 2011)

I'm glad you pursued it, although I wish it had turned out for the better. :/


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