# Can you pick up women at a Chinese buffet?



## biggirlluvher (Aug 7, 2016)

I need some advice. There's a Chinese buffet west of my city that I go to pretty infrequently. However, I've noticed that whenever I've been there I've been in a group of guys that aren't FA like I am. Without fail, I've seen a couple of bbw/ssbbw there that I would have tried to talk to if I had the chance. I can't leave the group so I just had to check them out from where I sat. Can I go to the buffet alone and maybe try to meet a woman there or do I at least need a wing man?


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## Dr. Feelgood (Aug 7, 2016)

You don't need a wingman to pick up a woman at a Chinese buffet. I would, however, recommend some REALLY big chopsticks.

Seriously, most restaurants are NOT good places to meet someone. A restaurant is based on the principle of eat-up-and-get-the-hell-out (which the restaurateurs call 'throughput'). You'll have a better chance to meet a woman somewhere where loitering is encouraged (a park, a party, a library, etc.).


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## dwesterny (Aug 7, 2016)

biggirlluvher said:


> o I at least need a wing man?



Nah, no need to bring your own. Most Chinese buffets have wings man.


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## agouderia (Aug 7, 2016)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> Seriously, most restaurants are NOT good places to meet someone. A restaurant is based on the principle of eat-up-and-get-the-hell-out (which the restaurateurs call 'throughput').




This is definitely a North American aberration to not say perversion - and a reason I don't care for going out to eat in the US much. 

That you more or less instantly get your check as soon as you've put down your fork is the antithesis of true eating culture. Meaning that eating is not only the fulfillment of a basic need and the ingestion of calories, but a culinary and social event.

In Europe it is totally accepted to lean back, contemplate and watch the other diners. Actually in many traditional restaurants you might even get worried questions whether everything is okay with food and atmosphere if you run right out after finishing. Because it might mean something was wrong with your eating experience that you did not want to prolong it.


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## azerty (Aug 7, 2016)

agouderia said:


> In Europe it is totally accepted to lean back, contemplate and watch the other diners. Actually in many traditional restaurants you might even get worried questions whether everything is okay with food and atmosphere if you run right out after finishing. Because it might mean something was wrong with your eating experience that you did not want to prolong it.



So true! So I would advise you to try.


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## bigmac (Aug 7, 2016)

I've noticed quite a few cuties at the buffet too. I've never tried this at a buffet but have thought the thing to do is wait till the prospect goes back for another plate, go back yourself, and "accidentally" end up right next to her and see if there's a chance to say something. This technique has worked in bars and clubs (i.e. wait till the prospect goes to get a drink and decide now is a good time to wait in line for a drink too).


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## loopytheone (Aug 7, 2016)

I know I'm just one woman and don't talk for all of us, but I'd find it deeply off putting to be chatted up at a buffet. Tends to be the place people go when they either don't want to talk to anyone, or want to talk to/hang out with the friends/family/partner they came with. I mean, you wouldn't just walk up to a person in a restaurant and start chatting them up, right? Same kinda principle, at least to me. I'd say leave people alone when they are trying to eat/get food.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Aug 7, 2016)

You never know until you try...


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## fatluvinguy (Aug 7, 2016)

loopytheone said:


> I know I'm just one woman and don't talk for all of us, but I'd find it deeply off putting to be chatted up at a buffet. Tends to be the place people go when they either don't want to talk to anyone, or want to talk to/hang out with the friends/family/partner they came with. I mean, you wouldn't just walk up to a person in a restaurant and start chatting them up, right? Same kinda principle, at least to me. I'd say leave people alone when they are trying to eat/get food.



Don't forget the old adage:"no guts, no glory." As you acknowledge, what is off putting to one person may be flattering to another. While the chances of success seem remote, I've seen some guys with a little charisma and a lot of courage get a phone number when the rest of us were saying "no way". In a full service restaurant it would be really hard, but at a buffet i suppose you could start a conversation while getting your food. It wouldn't be easy, but if there was some immediate chemistry it might be possible. I can say with complete confidence however, that I wouldn't have the stones to try it.


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## Mark02 (Aug 8, 2016)

Are we talking staff or patrons?


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## fuelingfire (Aug 9, 2016)

Probably going to require skill here. Most people at the buffet are focused on the food, if you are thinking of chatting up a BBW fill her plate. Is a wingman required, in this situation probably not. But I would think the difficulty would be a little higher here than other situations. 

Most people at buffets try to get their monies worth. This would probably be a place where you would see more overweight people than normal.


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## bigmac (Aug 9, 2016)

fuelingfire said:


> Probably going to require skill here. Most people at the buffet are focused on the food, if you are thinking of chatting up a BBW fill her plate. Is a wingman required, in this situation probably not.* But I would think the difficulty would be a little higher here than other situations. *
> 
> Most people at buffets try to get their monies worth. This would probably be a place where you would see more overweight people than normal.




I'm thinking this is a moderate difficulty situation. Less difficult than on the sidewalk or at the mall but more difficult than at a bar or club where people are expecting advance and are likely more receptive. However, there is something about food that puts people in a social mood.


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## fuelingfire (Aug 10, 2016)

bigmac said:


> I'm thinking this is a moderate difficulty situation. Less difficult than on the sidewalk or at the mall but more difficult than at a bar or club where people are expecting advance and are likely more receptive. However, there is something about food that puts people in a social mood.


 
Might just come down to personal preference, flirting style, or planning of what to say. I have a distaste for bar/club culture, which I have posted about before. But really when it comes down to it, if I see a girl who is a perfect ten on looks, location doesn't matter much.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Aug 10, 2016)

It _might_ work if the place is fairly crowded and she is alone at a table. You wander by, plate in hand, obviously looking for somewhere to sit. Then you say, "Excuse me, but would it be all right if I sit here?" This, incidentally, was how I met my ex-wife.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Aug 11, 2016)

From the girl perspective; it could make the woman feel intensely uncomfortable and trapped.

I think that a woman will either; know you are flirting and dislike it, know you are flirting and welcome it, or not know you are flirting. If she feels uncomfortable you've ruined her lunch and maybe even made her leave. If she is a big girl, she might immediately hate you for "mocking" her. You would have to have a very light hand in my opinion, to make yourself appear friendly without threatening.

Many girls (me included) don't ever date randoms. If you hadn't been pre vetted or at least have a loose aquaintance with another friend you would bat out with me. For example my now hubby and i met at a friend's gaming club. If he had asked me out in the grocery store or a buffet he would have struck out.

So, yes, it is possible. You would have to be sauve, sensitive.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Aug 11, 2016)

Also, depends on culture and location. Just thinking of what Doc mentioned. Generally where I am, sharing a table is weird/uncomfortable/borderline inappropriate. If someone asked to share a table, the person would probably look at other available tables like "wtf your legs broken?" Or say yes but hurry through their meal to vacate the uncomfortable situation. But in many cultures/places sharing a table at a meal is normal.

That ettiquite varies based on venue; bar or club is different. Even the library or something would be a different vibe.


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## loopytheone (Aug 11, 2016)

I can't help noticing that it is the women here that generally think no, getting hit on in a buffet would make them uncomfortable, whereas the guys seem convinced that it wont despite us saying that. *shrugs* 

I'm not saying that it is impossible to meet someone that way, I'm sure it's not, but certainly where I'm from most women would have the same reaction as me and Xy. I'd be really creeped out if somebody tried to sit with me at a restaurant. It's awkward enough having to share a table with someone when the place is packed full, but if there were empty seats available? I'd feel like I'd just met my next stalker, which probably isn't the vibe most of you guys are going for.


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## fuelingfire (Aug 11, 2016)

In fairness, this thread is a very small sample size. "You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take." Wayne Gretzky


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## FatAndProud (Aug 12, 2016)

As a confident BBW, I do not mind being approached anywhere. However, I do mind the content of your message and whether or not you're aethestically pleasing - I need a soft smile and a calm demeanor from a man to catch my attention  Plus, if you have salt and pepper hair ... Oooooo wee


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## CleverBomb (Aug 12, 2016)

The same way you pick them up anywhere: Lift with your knees, not your back.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Aug 12, 2016)

Lmao i am glad my rep god let me bestow my rep juju on you


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## CleverBomb (Aug 13, 2016)

Serious answer: 

Assuming reasonable conversational skill (and the ability to come across as "not desperate for a date" and "not creepy"), it ought to be fairly easy to strike up a casual conversation in the buffet line. Ask her opinion of the food item she's currently taking or contemplating, and perhaps suggest items that you like. Ask her for recommendations, too. Discuss how the line is moving (is it slow? moving quickly?) or how crowded (or not) the restaurant is. For the love of G_d, do NOT insist that she didn't take enough food! LOL

Might not get you a seat at her table or vice versa the first time, but it's a good place to start.


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## DianaSSBBW (Aug 13, 2016)

What not to do ..A few years back in December, in a mall full of people, I was standing at Auntie Anne's Pretzel waiting for my order and a short and very petite gentleman with a very strong accent got on his knees and asked me to marry him. I had never meet or seen this gentleman before. Some people started to notice and started to clap, I wanted to die. I closed my eyes and all I could say was, Sir please standup. I started to walk back to the store where I was working and the guy followed me into the store. A coworker came up to me and asked if the guy behind me needed any help. The guy then said: I just need her answer. I turned around and said Sir, I don't know you, I can't marry you. He went on to say that he was Italian, that he came to America two years ago and that he had his own company and now wanted to get married. I kept saying . Sorry, I can't marry you. My coworker nicknamed him "Vinchenzo".

"Vinchenzo" continued to walk by the store on Friday evenings for a long time.

Back then, BBW community in Pittsburgh was a small group of people and I few years later my coworker saw "Vinchenzo" and his new bride at one of the dances. 

Maybe this is the reason that I am attracted to tall, big guys.
After this I dated someone that was 6'6" and big!


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## lizzie_lotr (Aug 13, 2016)

Go for it.


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## fuelingfire (Aug 29, 2016)

To the original poster: What did you decide? Are you going to try it/have you?


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## liz (di-va) (Aug 30, 2016)

My $.02: The key word here in my mind is _friendly_. Friendly, no-pressure, actually reading the other person's cues. If they're not returning your glances, if they look like they want to be left alone -- leave em alone.

I was at a buffet recently a few times by myself and each time I happily ended up talking to other people sitting near me (in groups). (Buffets are diff from regular restaurants -- so much more getting up, etc. I'm not nearly as into talking to strangers at a regular restaurant, rather the opposite.)

HOWEVER, if a dude was really cheesing on me at a buffet / trying really obviously to pick me up and whatever...I'd dislike that and / or be wary and / or possibly run screaming. All about how you approach it. Treating someone like a human, no-pressure, curious about who they are vs. "picking up women."

p.s. Plus - make NO assumptions about her relationship with food / men / her size / sexuality based on what she's eating. Don't bring that up unless she does.

p.s.s. Depending on her size / mobility, she may not wanna talk "in line" (if she does want to flirt with you), as people keep mentioning here. Navigating that stuff as a SSBBW can take psychological/physical energy. Could only be if you happened to be sitting near each other or something.


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## ShakesSphere (Sep 8, 2016)

I spend a lot of time at buffets. My experience is that there is ample opportunity to strike up a harmless conversation. Usually I will point to an item and ask "Have you tried these triple fried dumplings? Are they any good?" Most women will at least give you a polite response. Slightly more forward would be to make a recommendation "You must try the roast beef --it's extra juicy today!" Or if my plate is overloaded I might say "Ooops I better quit loading this plate up --it's going to cause an avalanche! It's just all so good I wanto to get it all now!" 
I will do this to men too, just because I am a friendly guy. 
I haven't gotten any phone numbers this way, but I probably could have.


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## biggirlluvher (Sep 10, 2016)

I've been considering doing it in the last few weeks. I haven't seen/met a bbw/ssbbw at the places I've been when I'm out. I've seen at least one at that buffet whenever I've gone there, as infrequent as that's been, and that's what gave me the idea to try to get one of their phone numbers there. I've wanted to go with a friend so that I could have company while I'm there but it's not easy to coordinate with him. Also, I've realized he can be a cockblocker and feel it best to limit the awkwardness. I might have to go it alone tonight. I'll be back with details!


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## LarryTheNoodleGuy (Sep 14, 2016)

you can "pick up" anyone anywhere, as long as you don't come off as a creep and also respect that a person may wish to go about their business, may be married or dating someone and doesn't wish to interact with strangers more than a "Thanks, you too" and moving on.


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## Angel (Sep 18, 2016)

How about you writing a short little note on a small card (like one of those blank 3"x4" ones you'd find in a store by gift wrapping supplies) before you go to the buffet. Write something nice like "I just wanted to tell you that I think you are pretty. If you are single and would like to chat my phone number is..... or my e-mail is..... or my Facebook is.....
Hope to hear from you.  and sign your first name.

Put the card in the envelope. Seal it. Try to just hand it to her in a casually non-creepy as possible way, so as not to embarass her if she is with others. A casual friendly smile would be nice, too.

You'll be prepared and not fumbling for words: won't have to interrupt: and you won't be putting her on the spot. The ball would then be in her court.

Just don't make up a bunch of cards and be passing them out to multiple women at the same buffet. The women will notice! And that way you won't have to remember which buffet beauty she was out of the many. One card per buffet visit!


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## fuelingfire (Sep 19, 2016)

Angel said:


> How about you writing a short little note on a small card (like one of those blank 3"x4" ones you'd find in a store by gift wrapping supplies) before you go to the buffet. Write something nice like "I just wanted to tell you that I think you are pretty. If you are single and would like to chat my phone number is..... or my e-mail is..... or my Facebook is.....
> Hope to hear from you.  and sign your first name.
> 
> Put the card in the envelope. Seal it. Try to just hand it to her in a casually non-creepy as possible way, so as not to embarass her if she is with others. A casual friendly smile would be nice, too.
> ...



Interesting idea, have you actually tried this? This could actually get it's own thread asking how people feel about this idea.


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## Angel (Sep 20, 2016)

fuelingfire said:


> Interesting idea, have you actually tried this? This could actually get it's own thread asking how people feel about this idea.



Na, I'm a female SSBBW. One time, though, when at a buffet, I kept noticing a nice looking man watching me eat, and I could tell it wasn't with disgust or simple curiosity. I was pretty sure he was admiring the view. Several times our eyes met, but I was with family. I wish he would have tried my idea of the note thing!


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## bigmac (Sep 21, 2016)

Having a pre-printed note seems a bit creepy to me. I'd suggest writing a short spontaneous note on the back of a business card and handing it to her if the opportunity arises.

I've often thought of doing this but have never actually field tested this plan.


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## biggirlluvher (Sep 22, 2016)

Since my last post, I went to another Chinese buffet that was closer to home and cheaper. Unfortunately there weren't a lot of people there that night. There were no ssbbw there either probably because it was central downtown. The closest woman to my type was a plumper with 2 friends. They sat at the complete opposite end of the buffet from me. At the end of our time there, they caught up to me at the intersection. I noticed she had a nice bulging belly.


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## bigmac (Sep 23, 2016)

I'm doing the simpler thing. I'm taking a pretty SSBBW to the Chinese buffet today.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Sep 23, 2016)

bigmac said:


> I'm doing the simpler thing. I'm taking a pretty SSBBW to the Chinese buffet today.



Trust a lawyer to find the loophole!


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## Cobra Verde (Sep 30, 2016)

Make sure you try before eating. I could barely pick _myself_ up after the Chinese buffet today.


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## bigmac (Oct 8, 2016)

My girl's torturing me -- she's at a buffet 850 miles away and texting me about it.


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## CleverBomb (Oct 8, 2016)

That's unfair! LOL


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## Angel (Oct 9, 2016)

bigmac said:


> My girl's torturing me -- she's at a buffet 850 miles away and texting me about it.



Could have been worse. She could have been sending you pics of her plate(s) of food and pics of her eating that yummy food!


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## bigmac (Oct 9, 2016)

Angel said:


> Could have been worse. She could have been sending you pics of her plate(s) of food and *pics of her eating that yummy food*!



Might explain why she wants me to trade in my trusty old flip-phone for a smart phone with a decent sized screen.


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## SecretlyaKitten (Oct 10, 2016)

I'm just gonna slide on in here to say that that note would be a wonderful idea! Certainly wouldn't come off creepy to me~


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## Skye23 (Oct 11, 2016)

At the risk of being accused of bumping a post I made - I wanted to share a post I made here several years ago that is completely on topic (vs rewriting it). The short answer is - go ahead. Ask if they've tried the dumplings, tell them the roast beef is good, tell them they're lovely or you like their outfit or that's a lovely necklace they're wearing etc. As long as you're being sweet and polite, and respect their verbal and nonverbal cues about if they're interested or not. I wasn't available when I got approached at the local Chinese Buffet, but trust me when I say I was sending all my BBW friends there for months afterwards in hope they'd run into the same guy. 

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=99383


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## Forgotten_Futures (Oct 13, 2016)

_Years_ ago at college I was in the dining hall grabbing a quick bite before my next class. I had just finished eating and had maybe 15 minutes 'till said class when a cute girl sat down opposite me. The nature of the dining hall was such that this was not especially weird, although I made a point of finding unoccupied tables when I came in as I was/am a loner. I ate alone my senior year of HS, too, even when a group of girls asked me to come sit at their table with them (I did the once, realized I had absolutely nothing to contribute to their conversations, and went back to my norm the next day).

So yeah, cute girl sits opposite me. Says hi, I say hi back. I'm in the middle of having an anxiety attack because this situation has only ever happened once before (high school, senior year, again) and the first time was not a romantic approach (friend of a girl I was interested in trying to help - ultimately failed but not her fault). Girl notices and points out that I've finished eating... and I tucked my tail and ran as best I could without actually running, practically sweating bullets.

Actually paused for several long seconds outside the hall debating whether or not to go back in, hating myself for my cowardice. I still dwell on it from time to time and vow never to do it again... but the chance hasn't even occurred since so... *shrugs*.

Obviously, I'm replying to this from the _opposite side_ of the gender discussion, but, speaking for myself, I would _love_ to be approached... pretty much anywhere. Because I don't have the stones to make an approach myself...


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## socrates74 (Nov 30, 2016)

Can you? Should you? How skillful are you at picking up strangers in other circumstances? How is your self-confidence? (Who uses a wingman? Sorry. Foreign concept to me personally).


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## AmandaLynn (Dec 14, 2016)

You know.... if some intrepid FFA were to come up to me at the Chinese buffet and be like; "You know, I noticed that's your 4th serving of dumplings..." I don't know whether I would be mortified beyond words or totally turned on. 

For the record, I don't typically do buffets, I feel they a little unsanitary, but you know noticing my 3rd serving of sliders at 1 2 3 Burger Shot Beer would probably have the same effect.


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## nitewriter (Dec 14, 2016)

I tried picking up large lovely ladies at the Chinese buffet with varying degrees of success and failure. After my second hernia surgery I gave that up. I've had better success at the Supermarket.


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