# Ladies, do you believe FAs are rare?



## Jeff In Wichita (Sep 8, 2011)

So, as a big sexy girl, do you believe FAs are rare? Every time I meet a large sexy woman, I get that impression, but it also seems like it is tough to find large single women looking for dating, let alone a relationship. If so few of you are single, how could we be so freakin' rare?


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## CarlaSixx (Sep 8, 2011)

Yes I think they are rare.


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## AnnMarie (Sep 8, 2011)

I know a lot of them, so I guess I don't really find them that rare. I think there are lots of guys who prefer large women, but finding one that is a good fit for you and you for him - that's a different story.


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## goofy girl (Sep 8, 2011)

I don't think they're rare I just think most of them just consider themselves guys that like big girls (or big guys) and leave it at that, and don't get involved in the community and if they do its just to look at pictures lol


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## ConnieLynn (Sep 8, 2011)

I don't think they are rare, but I do think single, public FAs are very scarce in some locations.


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## NewfieGal (Sep 8, 2011)

I don't think its rarity as much as they are spread out over such a vast distance, and those places seem to be nowhere near any of us LOL  as for not many of us (bbw or ssbbws) being single have you seen the singles thread, there are more than enough to go around if the ladies were so inclined


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## fatgirlflyin (Sep 8, 2011)

Jeff In Wichita said:


> So, as a big sexy girl, do you believe FAs are rare? Every time I meet a large sexy woman, I get that impression, but it also seems like it is tough to find large single women looking for dating, let alone a relationship. If so few of you are single, how could we be so freakin' rare?



Nope I dont. I think there are lots of them out there, just most don't feel a need to apply labels to themselves.


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## CastingPearls (Sep 8, 2011)

No...................


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## CarlaSixx (Sep 8, 2011)

Maybe they're just rare in Canada. Pretty much every true to heart FA I've heard of is from the States.


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## Isa (Sep 8, 2011)

Jeff In Wichita said:


> So, as a big sexy girl, do you believe FAs are rare? Every time I meet a large sexy woman, I get that impression, but it also seems like it is tough to find large single women looking for dating, let alone a relationship. If so few of you are single, how could we be so freakin' rare?



In theory they are not rare but reality is a totally different story, at least in my experience. 



CarlaSixx said:


> Maybe they're just rare in Canada. Pretty much every true to heart FA I've heard of is from the States.



Exactly the opposite here, most interested guys I encounter are from every country except the US. This all happens online so sadly it rarely turns into anything serious.


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## KittyKitten (Sep 8, 2011)

I don't know. We've all heard about those studies that say most men favor women with meat on their bones, but how much meat? I think many guys have a limit of the type of fat they find attractive. How fat are we talking about? 200lbs? 300lbs? 500lbs?


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## wtchmel (Sep 8, 2011)

I think from a statistical perspective, yes they're rare. That and I believe that there are more then a few who are closeted, so even though you get that 'vibe' that someone is a f.a., 8 times out of ten, they're in the closet or not even admitting to themselves that they are one.


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## wtchmel (Sep 8, 2011)

happyface83 said:


> I don't know. We've all heard about those studies that say most men favor women with meat on their bones, but how much meat? I think many guys have a limit of the type of fat they find attractive. How fat are we talking about? 200lbs? 300lbs? 500lbs?



Yes! I totally agree with this post


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## bigmac (Sep 9, 2011)

wtchmel said:


> I think from a statistical perspective, yes they're rare. That and I believe that there are more then a few who are closeted, so even though you get that 'vibe' that someone is a f.a., 8 times out of ten, they're in the closet or not even admitting to themselves that they are one.



I agree -- lots of us are still in the closet at least a little bit. It took me a long time to come out completely (and I acted like a dick quite often during the pre-out phase of my life).

The are lots of guys who date BBWs on the downlow or have a fat GF in a neighboring city or town. In high school I first had a fat GF in a city 85km away and then had a local fat GF who I never took out (a platonic GF set me up with a tall thin blonde for prom).

After high school I came out partially and openly dated several small BBWs (and had sex with SSBBWs on the side). My first SO was about 190lbs when we met. With small BBWs you can always make excuses (yah she's a bit fat but she's pretty and/or nice and/or smart and/or a freak).

So even though there may be several FAs in your town or neighborhood you may not want to date them until they they're ready to come out of their closets.


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## thatgirl08 (Sep 9, 2011)

I do think FAs are rare in the general population; non-closeted ones almost non-existant. Just my experience.


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## bigmac (Sep 9, 2011)

thatgirl08 said:


> I do think FAs are rare in the general population; non-closeted ones almost non-existant. Just my experience.



Upstate NY may be a particularly bad place to look for out of the closet FAs. There seems to be some regional variation with regard to size acceptance. I've lived in Seattle, Portland, Central NJ, and northern and southern California and its been my experience that there is less acceptance of FAs in the NY/PA/NJ area than there is in the the Northwest or Northern California (SoCal is bad too).


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## thatgirl08 (Sep 9, 2011)

bigmac said:


> Upstate NY may be a particularly bad place to look for out of the closet FAs. There seems to be some regional variation with regard to size acceptance. I've lived in Seattle, Portland, Central NJ, and northern and southern California and its been my experience that there is less acceptance of FAs in the NY/PA/NJ area than there is in the the Northwest or Northern California (SoCal is bad too).



Hm, that's interesting. I'm also pretty convinced its at least partially due to the age range I'm looking in (18-29.)


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## LovelyLiz (Sep 9, 2011)

bigmac said:


> Upstate NY may be a particularly bad place to look for out of the closet FAs. There seems to be some regional variation with regard to size acceptance. I've lived in Seattle, Portland, Central NJ, and northern and southern California and its been my experience that there is less acceptance of FAs in the NY/PA/NJ area than there is in the the Northwest or Northern California (SoCal is bad too).



Changing your tune, bigmac? I thought you talked a lot about fat women you knew who lived in SoCal and found plenty of dates? I remember that because I agreed with you on that.

I do think there are plenty of guys who can be attracted to fat women, and even who prefer it. But with two caveats: 1) There does tend to be some kind of upper limit a number of those guys will probably have, tho I'm not sure what it is (like happyface mentioned); and then, 2) like AnnMarie said earlier in the thread, finding the *right* guy who enjoys fat women still can be a big challenge, even if there are a bunch of FAs running around.


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## Adrian (Sep 9, 2011)

I agree with Goofy Girl and Connie, FAs are more numerous than most people feel. It is just a large percentage of FAs are not open about until forced to 'come out' and let those who are close to them know how he really feels.
I was fortunate in that my desires for BBWs was public knowledge before I went to kindergarten, and I carried an arrogance toward anyone who tried to put me down, because of my choice.... my little friends felt the same way also. I never went back in the closet. The early years of high school were difficult but, I did not retreat.


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## *Goofy*Girl* (Sep 9, 2011)

Yes, I think they are rare in mainstream society, but not on the internet.


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## Tina (Sep 9, 2011)

If you mean guys who call themselves FAs, then perhaps. Otherwise, take a look around, wherever you are, and see just how many guys out there are with fat women, and just how many fat women seem to be with guys. I doubt there is some mass pity-fuck conspiracy going on out there, so I'm guessing these guys are with those women because they want to be, but I'll bet they've never heard of the term "FA" and do not identify as such. And yet, there they are women women who could be termed fat, or at the very least, plus-size.


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## Tad (Sep 9, 2011)

Tina said:


> If you mean guys who call themselves FAs, then perhaps. Otherwise, take a look around, wherever you are, and see just how many guys out there are with fat women, and just how many fat women seem to be with guys. I doubt there is some mass pity-fuck conspiracy going on out there, so I'm guessing these guys are with those women because they want to be, but I'll bet they've never heard of the term "FA" and do not identify as such. And yet, there they are women women who could be termed fat, or at the very least, plus-size.



^^^^ fully agree

Also to note that if, for example, ten percent of guys are FA and twenty percent of women are BBW, then FA are not all that rare, but the odds are good that the number of single FA compared to the number of single BBW will be way off. Heck, if there are even ten percent more BBW than male FA, the number of single members of those groups may be very unbalanced.

In other words, there is what Tina identified: the difference between guys who may well like bigger women, but don't identify as FA for whatever reason (never heard the term, never really thought about it, whatever), and then there is the question of single versus overall levels in the population.

(all numbers were purely made up for the sake of exeample)


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## bettylulu (Sep 9, 2011)

wtchmel said:


> I think from a statistical perspective, yes they're rare. That and I believe that there are more then a few who are closeted, so even though you get that 'vibe' that someone is a f.a., 8 times out of ten, they're in the closet or not even admitting to themselves that they are one.



^^^This. Definitely.


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## Chimpi (Sep 9, 2011)

Tina said:


> If you mean guys who call themselves FAs, then perhaps. Otherwise, take a look around, wherever you are, and see just how many guys out there are with fat women, and just how many fat women seem to be with guys. I doubt there is some mass pity-fuck conspiracy going on out there, so I'm guessing these guys are with those women because they want to be, but I'll bet they've never heard of the term "FA" and do not identify as such. And yet, there they are women women who could be termed fat, or at the very least, plus-size.



I agree with this post.


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## Jes (Sep 9, 2011)

bigmac said:


> I agree -- lots of us are still in the closet at least a little bit. It took me a long time to come out completely (and I acted like a dick quite often during the pre-out phase of my life).
> 
> The are lots of guys who date BBWs on the downlow or have a fat GF in a neighboring city or town. In high school I first had a fat GF in a city 85km away and then had a local fat GF who I never took out (a platonic GF set me up with a tall thin blonde for prom).
> 
> ...


Ouch. 

I think everything you've written above is exactly why I was so guarded throughout HS, college and beyond. I mean really, really guarded.

And yet things have worked out well for you. Maybe not as well for some of the women who your actions touched? 

Part of me can't help but wish that someone like you got stuck going through a forced period of going without...a social jail sentence with no sex or love for a period to try to even things out with damage you may have inflicted.

Don't get me wrong...I'm thinking not just of you, here, and I'm not trying to angrily target you, even though I'm sure it may seem that way. I don't dislike you or anything. And this topic isn't even really what this thread is about, I know that.

But it seems to me that for fat admirers like you, pretty much right after you 'came out,' you had a number of fat women from which you could choose, no harm, no foul. It's almost like a reward, but not for good behavior... Any chance you see what I mean? I'm not saying your life was easy or that every relationship has worked out for you or any of that, it's just that I've seen this pattern before so many times.

The family friend's kid I grew up with, who was a few years older, and a closeted FA (unbeknownst to me 'til much later), who was so, So, SO fucking mean to me about my weight...I mean, relentless some days...The second he decided to grow up and not be an asshole, he got himself a fat GF who adored him, and then he married her and they're still going strong.

Me? I wince when I think of him, and all that he put me through, and I know that his bullshit got into my head and that I internalized it and it's caused me a host of problems. 

It would be nice if his growing out of it would somehow release me from his abuse, but life isn't fair that way. I'm sure that many would say the internalizing was all my doing and I should've walked away and never looked back, but I'm also sure there are other women here who can understand what I'm saying.

To answer the OP...I don't know what I think. I really don't. First, I don't know how you or I define FA, and I feel more confused in some ways, not less, after spending time at Dims and 'interacting' with FAs (online only for the most part). So, how's that for an answer?


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## thatgirl08 (Sep 9, 2011)

Yeah, a lot of fat women are in relationships but that doesn't mean their sig other is necessarily an FA who specifically seeks out relationships with fat women. 

I guess I also don't really think of someone as an FA if the biggest woman they are attracted to is a size 16 or 18, although that's plus size. There's a group of guys that my roommate and I were close friends with last year, most of whom tried to get with her at some point.. they often talked about preferring bigger girls but having limits. The girls they pointed out were generally size 10-16, and almost always hourglasses. I wouldn't really consider them FAs because although their preferences were bigger than the norm, the girls weren't always plus size and always carried their weight in their chest and ass and had relatively flat stomachs. I know a lot more of those kind of guys than I do guys who are interested in girls size 20+ or girls who aren't the "ideal" shape. 

Most of the guys I've talked to from the community who live in my area have never openly dated a fat girl. I've been everyone's first, or I've been a secret (which I no longer tolerate!) I have definitely been hit on by a few guys on the DL that I've met in real life but none brought it much farther than flirting. I also just recently found out that one of my friends friends boyfriends is an FA/feeder. She caught him looking at Big Cuties & other paysites and watching feeder porn. He freaked out when she found it and begged her not to tell anyone and said he thought he had a problem.  That sure didn't stop him from following me around at the last party I had at my apartment!


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## bigmac (Sep 9, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> Changing your tune, bigmac? I thought you talked a lot about fat women you knew who lived in SoCal and found plenty of dates? I remember that because I agreed with you on that.



Not really changing my tune -- just adding some detail. When I lived in New Jersey I overheard people trash talking fat chicks all the time. When I went to general social events in NY/NJ/PA I encountered very few fat women. When I lived in the Pacific Northwest I hardly ever heard people trash talking fat chicks (Portland and Seattle have a nonjudgmental whatever rocks your boat atmosphere). When I went out in Portland or Seattle the crowd almost always contained at least a few fat folks (often many). SoCal seem to be somewhat schizophrenic -- people trash talk fat people at least as bad as in the Northeast but the are fat women out and about (often with dates) anyway.

I'll hypothesize that the more anonymous and self-centered culture of SoCal does not restrain FAs as much as the more group/neighborhood oriented culture of the Northeast. In both locations there is a strong bias against fat people but in SoCal its easier for an FA to date fat people at least semi-publicly because the FAs family and pier group have less influence.


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## bigmac (Sep 9, 2011)

happyface83 said:


> I don't know. We've all heard about those studies that say most men favor women with meat on their bones, but how much meat? I think many guys have a limit of the type of fat they find attractive. How fat are we talking about? 200lbs? 300lbs? 500lbs?



Most of the ordinary (non-FA) guys I know like their ladies just slightly chubby (i.e. 140-160lbs). I think this is what the studies mean by "meat on bones". Many women assume (and the diet and fashion industry foster this myth) that men like their women 30 or 40 pounds less than they actually do.

There's also a fairly large group of guys who aren't really FAs but who like actually chubby women (i.e. 180-220lbs). It can be hard to separate this group from guys who are actually FAs but who choose to date small BBWs because its easier and there's less stigma to deal with.


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## olwen (Sep 10, 2011)

I agree with a lot of things being said here. Are they rare? No, but the real question is, how open are they? I think not very. I also do think it's easier for men to date smaller bbws even if they would prefer to date bigger ones. And of the ones who are open to dating us bigger ones, finding a good match is difficult.


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## veggieforever (Sep 11, 2011)

*I think FA's are coming out of their closets more these days and WOO-HOO for that!! ) I am 200lbs and my best friend is around 270lbs and she gets so much more sexual attention from men than me that it is staggering!! She is constantly 'propositioned' and has many male admirers that I feel left out! lol She is very confident and self aware and projects this - so much so, it can never not be seen as unattractive. So, FA's, I believe are not rare. Just shy! But they are getting braver, ladies  xXx*


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## Chimpi (Sep 12, 2011)

Honestly, though, we're as rare as unicorns.
*LOL*
_LOL_


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## veggieforever (Sep 12, 2011)

Chimpi said:


> Honestly, though, we're as rare as unicorns.
> *LOL*
> _LOL_



I am seeing different reactions here on this side of the globe but why'd you think FA's are rare? Media? Unacceptance? Other outside forces...  xXx


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## Shosh (Sep 12, 2011)

Where I live in Australia they are pretty rare. But then again maybe I am not their personal type.
Just because a man is an FA, it does not mean that they find every fat woman attractive. There is also a question of if they find a woman's looks attractive as well as their large body.

So there may be more FA's than we think, they just may not be into a particular BBW/SSBBW etc.


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## EMH1701 (Sep 12, 2011)

Odd, I've only ever met one, and that was while playing WoW. We never met IRL. I live in Minnesota.


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## PunkyGurly74 (Sep 12, 2011)

happyface83 said:


> I don't know. We've all heard about those studies that say most men favor women with meat on their bones, but how much meat? I think many guys have a limit of the type of fat they find attractive. How fat are we talking about? 200lbs? 300lbs? 500lbs?



I agree with this..... in my experience FA's who like 400+ lb girls are freaking unicorns IRL. Online, I have meet a few..but, they always only like me conditionally - i.e. if I would gain weight...etc. It is rather disheartening and off-putting. I wish this was not so.


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## wtchmel (Sep 12, 2011)

thatgirl08 said:


> Yeah, a lot of fat women are in relationships but that doesn't mean their sig other is necessarily an FA who specifically seeks out relationships with fat women.
> 
> I guess I also don't really think of someone as an FA if the biggest woman they are attracted to is a size 16 or 18, although that's plus size. There's a group of guys that my roommate and I were close friends with last year, most of whom tried to get with her at some point.. they often talked about preferring bigger girls but having limits. The girls they pointed out were generally size 10-16, and almost always hourglasses. I wouldn't really consider them FAs because although their preferences were bigger than the norm, the girls weren't always plus size and always carried their weight in their chest and ass and had relatively flat stomachs. I know a lot more of those kind of guys than I do guys who are interested in girls size 20+ or girls who aren't the "ideal" shape.
> 
> !



I agree with this, i (my own opinion) don't consider someone who likes thick (12-20) really an FA, I've always thought of FA's someone who likes women over the 24 size an FA. So with that analogy, its why i think it's rare. I rarely see men out with really big women, unless they're older, maybe like they married younger and she used to be thin, but now shes fat and they're still together because of love, not the body type.


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## Edens_heel (Sep 12, 2011)

They don't seem to be too rare in Edmonton - I see the contrast all the time. If other FAs are anything like me, however, they're simply shy about approaching any woman, regardless of size.


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## Tracyarts (Sep 12, 2011)

" I think many guys have a limit of the type of fat they find attractive. How fat are we talking about? 200lbs? 300lbs? 500lbs? "

Just like many guys have a limit on the type of thin (or short or tall or busty, etc...) they find attractive. 

IMHO, the farther you get from the standard body type, the fewer people will be out there deliberately looking for that type in a romantic partner, and on the extreme ends of the spectrums, the fewer who will be accepting of that type if there are other things that attract them to the person.

Tracy


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## CarlaSixx (Sep 12, 2011)

I view an FA as a guy who likes women size 16 and over... maybe more size 18 and over, actually. So that's why they're rare.

There's a difference between liking a woman with meat on her bones, and liking a fat woman.


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## Chimpi (Sep 12, 2011)

veggieforever said:


> I am seeing different reactions here on this side of the globe but why'd you think FA's are rare? Media? Unacceptance? Other outside forces...  xXx



I don't think they're rare at all. I agree (as said) with what Tina laid out on the table. I came back to the thread with an additive - more of a quote of something that has been said that I thought was hilarious _and_ happened to apply to this here subject matter.

They're everywhere. The question that I would ponder more is what has already been aired into the open - how "open" are the fat admirers (read: majority, I guess) of the land?


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## Jeff In Wichita (Sep 12, 2011)

Tina said:


> If you mean guys who call themselves FAs, then perhaps. Otherwise, take a look around, wherever you are, and see just how many guys out there are with fat women, and just how many fat women seem to be with guys. I doubt there is some mass pity-fuck conspiracy going on out there, so I'm guessing these guys are with those women because they want to be, but I'll bet they've never heard of the term "FA" and do not identify as such. And yet, there they are women women who could be termed fat, or at the very least, plus-size.



This is what I meant I guess. I don't think any FAs really label themselves "FAs." I honestly don't, but I also have no sexual attraction to any non-BBW. I really think that we are about 30% of the population, because that is about the same percentage of women who can't wear clothes from stores that only go to size 16. 

I don't really believe there are many closeted FAs either. If you try to label people, yes, I think that people don't like being labeled. But I really doubt there are a lot of FAs choosing to be lonely or with women who they don't find attractive just so they can avoid the image of being with a big girl.


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## Jes (Sep 12, 2011)

Jeff In Wichita said:


> But I really doubt there are a lot of FAs choosing to be lonely or with women who they don't find attractive just so they can avoid the image of being with a big girl.



On what are you basing your opinion?


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## thatgirl08 (Sep 13, 2011)

Jeff In Wichita said:


> I don't really believe there are many closeted FAs either. If you try to label people, yes, I think that people don't like being labeled. But I really doubt there are a lot of FAs choosing to be lonely or with women who they don't find attractive just so they can avoid the image of being with a big girl.



Based on what exactly? Many of the women on this board have posted in this thread & elsewhere about their experiences with closeted FAs. I've personally encountered a lot more closeted ones than non-closeted ones. I have been seriously involved with four FAs that I met in this community.. two were closeted and for the other two I was their first fat girlfriend. I've talked to dozens more.. most admit that they've never had a fat girlfriend before and that their family & friends don't know (although they give other excuses, of course.) I'm not saying there aren't out FA's.. just that in my experience a large percentage are still in the closet. My experiences have also been that my weight is actually way less of an issue with guys who are interested in me but don't identify as an FA.


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## mithrandirjn (Sep 13, 2011)

What kind make this dicey is where your own personal definition of "FA" falls. 

I think the kind we're all thinking of may well be pretty damn rare; a guy who, given his druthers, would rather date/hook up with/whatever with a genuinely BIG woman (or visa versa on the genders in some cases) and would turn down a good looking thinner woman to do so. I think the point was made before: attraction like that may well exist on a bell curve; the further a person is from what's considered the "norm" (not that there really is much of one), the smaller the pool of people who exclusively find that type of look attractive, or at least find it most attractive over others.

HOWEVER, this doesn't mean that it's rare to run into a guy who not only willingly, but happily dates or even marries a bigger woman. Just look around: plenty of men and woman date members of the opposite sex who are anywhere from slightly chubby to out and out big. The catch, I think, is that not every one of those people finds that body type the MOST attractive to them. 

But really, there are varying degrees of attraction. Just because a guy might prefer the body of a thin model doesn't mean he doesn't find a larger woman attractive, and it doesn't mean he's "settling" or something.


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## Jes (Sep 13, 2011)

thatgirl08 said:


> Based on what exactly? Many of the women on this board have posted in this thread & elsewhere about their experiences with closeted FAs. I've personally encountered a lot more closeted ones than non-closeted ones. I have been seriously involved with four FAs that I met in this community.. two were closeted and for the other two I was their first fat girlfriend. I've talked to dozens more.. most admit that they've never had a fat girlfriend before and that their family & friends don't know (although they give other excuses, of course.) I'm not saying there aren't out FA's.. just that in my experience a large percentage are still in the closet. My experiences have also been that my weight is actually way less of an issue with guys who are interested in me but don't identify as an FA.



Can I get a witness? PRAISE HIM!


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## FatAndProud (Sep 13, 2011)

FA's may be rare, but gents that appreciate a woman of size aren't rare at all!


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## hiddenexposure (Sep 14, 2011)

FatAndProud said:


> FA's may be rare, but gents that appreciate a woman of size aren't rare at all!



This, alll this!


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## duraznos (Sep 14, 2011)

In my experience, it does seem like FAs are rare... by any definition. And especially when I consider the ratio of FAs to big girls. LOL so lucky for you guys it's a buyer's market, so to speak.


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## seavixen (Oct 4, 2011)

I think they're rare, but that's probably my bias as an ssbbw.

I definitely do not think it's unusual for men to like thick / curvy / chubby / whatever women. (Though I don't think most of those guys would identify as FAs at all.) I think the higher a bbw's weight goes, though, the slimmer the pickings are in terms of men who will fall over themselves for her... I consider us more of a "specific taste", I guess, being so far from the general / socially acceptable norm.

That's just my experience, though. I'm rarely out without my husband anymore, so I have no idea if men would actually hit on me, were I alone. I doubt it? lol - but I can't say for certain. (I'm sure there are women who would point and yell, "HUSBAND!!!" at me as a counter to all of this, but, hey, I had to import him from out of state, alright? He didn't just walk up to me in the store or something.)

I'm guessing geographical location and diversity (or lack thereof) has a lot to do with the rarity, too. Maybe women have totally different experiences elsewhere. Goodness knows I've seen ssbbws with some really fine looking men over the years!


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## supersizebbw (Oct 4, 2011)

IMPO, I think the FA's who are open and honest about their love for big women, in real life are very rare to find (goodness knows i'm still searching).

However the closet FA's are clearly very many because whenever i join BBW dating sites i get plenty of interested guys, who only want to meet in private and not in public, which of course i steer clear away from. 

For that reason i quit registering myself on online dating sites hoping i meet someone IRL, but so far i'm still searching.


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## Lamia (Oct 4, 2011)

Whenever I read this thread title I picture blurry photographs of alleged FAs in the style of the infamous bigfoot photo of him running in the woods or lochness.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Oct 4, 2011)

seavixen said:


> I think they're rare, but that's probably my bias as an ssbbw.
> 
> *I definitely do not think it's unusual for men to like thick / curvy / chubby / whatever women.* (Though I don't think most of those guys would identify as FAs at all.) *I think the higher a bbw's weight goes, though, the slimmer the pickings are in terms of men who will fall over themselves for her... I consider us more of a "specific taste", I guess, being so far from the general / socially acceptable norm.
> *
> ...



Yep. I agree.


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## tonynyc (Oct 4, 2011)

seavixen said:


> I think they're rare, but that's probably my bias as an ssbbw.
> 
> I definitely do not think it's unusual for men to like thick / curvy / chubby / whatever women. (Though I don't think most of those guys would identify as FAs at all.) I think the higher a bbw's weight goes, though, the slimmer the pickings are in terms of men who will fall over themselves for her... I consider us more of a "specific taste", I guess, being so far from the general / socially acceptable norm.
> 
> ...



*Y*ou may have a point about the geography and it may also be a cultural thing....I had to bold your statement ... I've seen many bold folks in this area that would attempt to meet a SSBBW 'single' or 'taken'


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## MattB (Oct 4, 2011)

Lamia said:


> Whenever I read this thread title I picture blurry photographs of alleged FAs in the style of the infamous bigfoot photo of him running in the woods or lochness.



What an odd analogy. I like it...


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## seavixen (Oct 5, 2011)

tonynyc said:


> *Y*ou may have a point about the geography and it may also be a cultural thing....I had to bold your statement ... I've seen many bold folks in this area that would attempt to meet a SSBBW 'single' or 'taken'



That kind of blows my mind. People generally don't approach me except to compliment my clothes or something, alone or not. And even then, that's pretty rare. I don't think I'm very intimidating, so maybe it's just the culture/location thing.


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## Shan34 (Oct 5, 2011)

Jeff In Wichita said:


> *So, as a big sexy girl, do you believe FAs are rare?* Every time I meet a large sexy woman, I get that impression, but it also seems like it is tough to find large single women looking for dating, let alone a relationship. If so few of you are single, how could we be so freakin' rare?



Yeah pretty much :huh:


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## Lamia (Oct 5, 2011)

MattB said:


> What an odd analogy. I like it...



ROFL nice avatar. I heard tell about a mythical man what likes the fatties, but ain't none believe me *Spit* *rocking in chair*


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## Hathor (Oct 6, 2011)

I think they are because I've never run into one outside a computer screen. Sure I've been with guys who like bigger girls, but they like all women and don't express a single tunnel visioned attraction to big women like I expect FAs to.


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## olwen (Oct 6, 2011)

seavixen said:


> I think they're rare, but that's probably my bias as an ssbbw.
> 
> I definitely do not think it's unusual for men to like thick / curvy / chubby / whatever women. (Though I don't think most of those guys would identify as FAs at all.) I think the higher a bbw's weight goes, though, the slimmer the pickings are in terms of men who will fall over themselves for her... I consider us more of a "specific taste", I guess, being so far from the general / socially acceptable norm.
> 
> ...



Yup. I don't know how much geography has to do with it, but I live in a huge city and that doesn't make it any easier. Just seems like there are more guys to either harass you or reject you.


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## Missbreeze (Oct 9, 2011)

Jeff In Wichita said:


> So, as a big sexy girl, do you believe FAs are rare? Every time I meet a large sexy woman, I get that impression, but it also seems like it is tough to find large single women looking for dating, let alone a relationship. If so few of you are single, how could we be so freakin' rare?



I am not sure that they are rare as much as I think it is more of a perception with peers that hold them back. Which is unfortunate because love is waiting.


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## Jello404 (Oct 12, 2011)

6 billion+ people on earth and Im sure a few million of them prefer bbw's and ssbbws.So rare?No. I think what is rare are single men who are confident and open with their preference for larger women.Too many men like bbws & ssbbws but never act on it.


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## lushluv (Oct 12, 2011)

^

This........


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## LifeTraveller (Oct 12, 2011)

I've heard many times that "real" FA's are indeed shadowy creatures who's real existence is somewhat akin to Unicorns. . I suppose in some cases that is true, and it may indeed be regional. . There are few of us where I currently live, but I for one am a dyed-in-the-wool FA, and have been for so many years I have lost count. . (I'm old) 

Thankfully I was married for most of those years to the love of my life. It's been a real adjustment, after her passing. . I'm still not sure how easy it will be to start "dating" again. .(does that even exist anymore?) However it had been my experience, in this region, that if you found BBW, or more specifically SSBBW attractive. . Your mental acuity was questioned. . It's really a Catch-22 in some cases. . speaks to the absurdity of life I suppose. . 

I'm a firm believer in treating your lady properly, at all times. When you go out, be proud of her, she is with you, and be proud of her appearance..(you know she's gorgeous you lucky man) Not everyone will agree with your preferences, but that's not your problem it's theirs. . They just don't know what they are missing. . Aren't you the one blessed? There is just few things better than going out with you sweetie, and enjoying the time, if others want to make comments. . It depends on the severity, or how vocal they are. . I don't want to make a scene, but it bad behavior makes it necessary, I'm not beyond explaining good manners to someone. . Ok, a longer post than I intended. . . But a word to the FA's that don't make their preferences openly known in the "real world". . I say try it. . you may love it more than you imagine!!


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## Tina (Oct 12, 2011)

I believe that those who call themselves FAs are rare, but it's not so rare to see a fat person as part of a couple. So it really depends upon what you're asking.


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## LovelyLiz (Oct 12, 2011)

Tina said:


> I believe that those who call themselves FAs are rare, but it's not so rare to see a fat person as part of a couple. So it really depends upon what you're asking.



Yes, exactly. This is what I think over and over again in these conversations. Look around at all the fat people in couples. A bunch of them have kids. They clearly have sex. Does that mean it's mindblowing sex for all of them? No. But it's not like that for all thin people either. 

It's really not that odd for fat people to be in loving relationships. But depending on how narrow your definition of FA is (do they ONLY like fat people? are they more open?), you may still see all that evidence and decide FAs are rare.


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## Diana_Prince245 (Oct 12, 2011)

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if he's an FA or not. All that matters is that he's a DA (Diana Admirer). The rest of it is just smoke and mirrors.

(and yes, I'm kinda sorta stealing this from Casting Pearls)


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## Lovelyone (Oct 13, 2011)

I think that FA's are rare. Much like Elvis, there are sightings but no one can really tell if its the real thing or not.


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## NancyGirl74 (Oct 13, 2011)

I think men who like big woman (more than just "thick" but not supersided) are not all that rare. However, men who are open and vocal about liking then are. FA's and men who like mid to supersize BBWs are rare. Men and FA's who are "out" and vocal about it should be on the endangered species list.


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## jcsites (Oct 13, 2011)

I dont think FA's are rare these days. I had a few large single women friends who still prefer to be single. Maybe they haven't found their matches yet...:bow:


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## MarioFA1983 (Oct 18, 2011)

NancyGirl74 said:


> I think men who like big woman (more than just "thick" but not supersided) are not all that rare. However, men who are open and vocal about liking then are. FA's and men who like mid to supersize BBWs are rare. Men and FA's who are "out" and vocal about it should be on the endangered species list.



People always told me that im rare, no matter how big i like girls (some of them know i like bbws others that i like ssbbw too) and even those fat girls that i have dated think its rare, so i guess im a "rare endangered specie" haha

The important thing is that i dont feel rare.


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## Grandi Floras (Oct 23, 2011)

*OH yes, most definately rarer than rare.......*:sad::really sad:


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## sgageny (Oct 24, 2011)

I dont know if its just me trying to blame anything other than my less than stellar online dating skills. But I seem to keep noticing that most of the FA's who are interested in SSBBW, that I have been able to locate online etc are from down in the Australian south... meaning if i was to exclusively look for an FA partner it would either mean long distance relationships or spinsterhood for me. 
(forgive the hyperbole) BUT for me for the past few months in sunny queensland, I'd say yeah. It has kinda been like looking for a unicorn. 

Im sure the worlds smallest violin is playing for me now, but seriously cant all the Aussie FA's just move interstate ?? I'll make it worth their while! I swears


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## Victoria08 (Oct 25, 2011)

Purely based on personal experience (or lack there of :blush, I do think they're rare. I can honestly say that a guy has _never_ shown any interest in me. Not it the UK, not in Europe, not in the USA, not in Canada.


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## penguin (Oct 25, 2011)

sgageny said:


> Im sure the worlds smallest violin is playing for me now, but seriously cant all the Aussie FA's just move interstate ?? I'll make it worth their while! I swears



The FA I met up this way wasn't after a relationship, so I agree, there aren't many around these parts!


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## chunkeymonkey (Nov 1, 2011)

I remember after a couple dates the first time my now husband approached me and said he needed to show me something he loved (1996). A few seconds later he came out with a magazine. It was a copy of Dimensions magazine. He explained to me he was a FA. What was interesting is he wanted to be so open and honest about this because he tried to date some women who ran from the idea. I can actually say we have almost every Dimensions Magazines that were published I think there is only 1 missing. He is proud to be a FA however he is an introvert. I was in the right place at the right time. 

I do agree they are rare


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## BBWbonnie (Nov 4, 2011)

I honestly think most men like a fuller figured woman whether they are man enough to admit it or not


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## chubbybunny23 (Nov 5, 2011)

As far as whether self proclaimed FA's exist in abundance, I would say no, they don't (at least not in my area). However, there are a multitude of men who can appreciate the beauty of a woman no matter what her size. There are also many who haven't experienced the majesty of a bigger woman and once they do, are fans for life. I can say I've dated a few men who I had never seen with a girl my size and have "turned out" all too easily. I think the majority of men like women, however they may come.


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## guitarist13 (Nov 6, 2011)

I think that it's impossible to say how common FAs are. I, for one, do not wear my FA badge on my sleeve. I just got out of a relationship with my first plus-sized partner, but the reason I hadn't dated someone her size before wasn't because I was afraid to be seen with her, but just simply because my life had never introduced me with the right one before. She knew I found her sexy, and everyone we were with in public knew that I found her sexy by the way we acted. But I was not going to go and tell her and everyone around me "I'm an FA." I don't personally think it's anyone's business. So if one of you saw me and didn't know me, you might have pegged me as a guy who just happened to have a fat girlfriend, not necessarily as an FA. But I am one. It was physically the best relationship I've ever had, and emotionally as well in many ways (but that's another story.) 

Additionally, my roommate has a plus-sized girlfriend. Is he an FA? I have no idea. We don't talk about it. I guess what I'm getting at is this: just because an FA isn't vocal about his preference doesn't mean he's the sort of spineless FA who doesn't date fat girls in real life. 

I hope I'm making sense. I feel like that was beating around the bush, but I didn't know how else to organize it.


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## Fat Brian (Nov 7, 2011)

guitarist13 said:


> I guess what I'm getting at is this: just because an FA isn't vocal about his preference doesn't mean he's the sort of spineless FA who doesn't date fat girls in real life.



We've had threads about this before. Some FAs, especially ones who are mainly attracted to mid-sized BBWs, don't ever find this community because their preference isn't so far outside the norm that they feel like an outsider and seek out others with similar interests. It doesn't mean that they aren't FAs, they just have never been exposed to the terminology, they just know they like big women and live their life. I had openly dated and married my then near SSBBW wife before I ever found this place or knew what an FA was, I knew what I like and lived it openly and didn't need letters to define it for me. It is nice to know about the community but I didn't need it to live a fully actuated life.


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## LittleCthulhu (Nov 8, 2011)

I think given the social stigma behind fat, being fat and enjoying fat it is difficult for some to be open about it. This makes finding FA's tricky because unless someone is open about their preferences how can you know? 

I have yet to meet someone who likes fat woman as a preference "in real life". Any that I know of have been found through the internet in places where fat is the topic. So, in my experience, it may not be that they are rare but more that they rarely talk about feeling that way. There has only been one person I have had sex with that has been an open FA. 
In all honesty I have never given it any thought. I presumed that they must find me attractive because they are turned on, but I never considered that my fat body would be the cause. So I may have experiences many FA and not realised.


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## Jeeshcristina (Nov 9, 2011)

LittleCthulhu said:


> I think given the social stigma behind fat, being fat and enjoying fat it is difficult for some to be open about it. This makes finding FA's tricky because unless someone is open about their preferences how can you know?
> 
> I have yet to meet someone who likes fat woman as a preference "in real life". Any that I know of have been found through the internet in places where fat is the topic. So, in my experience, it may not be that they are rare but more that they rarely talk about feeling that way. There has only been one person I have had sex with that has been an open FA.
> In all honesty I have never given it any thought. I presumed that they must find me attractive because they are turned on, but I never considered that my fat body would be the cause. So I may have experiences many FA and not realised.



Agreed. You don't really know, because it's not something a lot of guys are going to open up about right away. Of the few I've met that are open about it, most care more about the physical attraction than the emotional connection.


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## guitarist13 (Nov 9, 2011)

LittleCthulhu said:


> I think given the social stigma behind fat, being fat and enjoying fat it is difficult for some to be open about it. This makes finding FA's tricky because unless someone is open about their preferences how can you know?
> 
> I have yet to meet someone who likes fat woman as a preference "in real life". Any that I know of have been found through the internet in places where fat is the topic. So, in my experience, it may not be that they are rare but more that they rarely talk about feeling that way. There has only been one person I have had sex with that has been an open FA.
> In all honesty I have never given it any thought. I presumed that they must find me attractive because they are turned on, but I never considered that my fat body would be the cause. So I may have experiences many FA and not realised.



I think that one of the reasons many FAs might not be as vocal about their preference is simply that a lot of fat girls aren't comfortable with that idea outright. I never told my ex girlfriend "I like your fat," I just showed her through actions. Directly addressing the issue, knowing her personality, would have made her very uncomfortable. She had had an eating disorder when she was younger, so I thought that the best way to make her comfortable with herself and realize that she was beautiful (which I believe she was partly on the way to before she met me) was to just take it slow and make it obvious to her how I felt. 

Maybe I should have said it. I planned on eventually saying something if the relationship had continued, but we had some differences that ended things before I had the chance. It's too soon to say, but if we remain friends and are at all close, it might come up in the future.

What I'm getting at is, if you say "I like fat girls, and I like you" to someone, then they might take offense if they don't identify with being fat. If I'm incorrect, please set me straight, I'd love to know a better way to approach this issue in real life.


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## Still a Skye fan (Nov 11, 2011)

I always see many happy looking fellas out and about with large gals of all sizes on their arms or holding hands. Much more than I used to.

Are the guys wearing "I'm an FA" T-shirt? No...although I'd happily wear one. Are they shouting to the world about their preferences for larger women? Beats me...whoever a guy chooses to pair up with isn't my business.

So, I don't think FAs are rare. We're out there, I guess we're just not "vocal" about it is all. ~shrugs~ Once we're lucky enough to find a large lovely lady and treat her right, I imagine we eventually make our preferences known to her and the family/friends can suss it out later.

Dennis


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## Jeeshcristina (Nov 11, 2011)

guitarist13 said:


> I think that one of the reasons many FAs might not be as vocal about their preference is simply that a lot of fat girls aren't comfortable with that idea outright. I never told my ex girlfriend "I like your fat," I just showed her through actions. Directly addressing the issue, knowing her personality, would have made her very uncomfortable. She had had an eating disorder when she was younger, so I thought that the best way to make her comfortable with herself and realize that she was beautiful (which I believe she was partly on the way to before she met me) was to just take it slow and make it obvious to her how I felt.
> 
> Maybe I should have said it. I planned on eventually saying something if the relationship had continued, but we had some differences that ended things before I had the chance. It's too soon to say, but if we remain friends and are at all close, it might come up in the future.
> 
> What I'm getting at is, if you say "I like fat girls, and I like you" to someone, then they might take offense if they don't identify with being fat. If I'm incorrect, please set me straight, I'd love to know a better way to approach this issue in real life.




I guess I never saw it from this angle. It can be really hard from women to feel confident, and I think all we really want is to hear that we're truly beautiful to the one we care about. And all the guy wants to do is let us know we're beautiful without getting laughed at. Women don't know how to take honest compliments. It's just been seared into our brains for so long that we have to look X way to be attractive. Places like this really go a long way in helping with the communication gap on both sides. I think before if someone told me they liked my fat, I'd laugh it off. But after Dims, I think I have a greater appreciation for my body, and am more confident.


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## The Orange Mage (Nov 11, 2011)

Guitarist13 nailed it spot on. The chances of approaching a woman and having her horrified at the very concept of you finding her attractive, or her assuming that you're playing a joke on her is very very awkward. It's kind of a like when a fat woman wants to approach a guy but has no idea if she likes bigger girls. Just because a woman is big doesn't guarantee that she wants to be admired in that way. So while some girls are trying to scope out the FAs amongst the guys, the FAs are trying to scope out the women who are okay with the whole FA thing.

I think we SHOULD start wearing t-shirts to identify FAs.


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## lostjacket (Nov 13, 2011)

Haha, I gotta wonder though - does this need to come out as your opening line? Uh...I like fat chicks. Most of the time if you take your time and just talk to the girl (who is a person btw) she'll open up.

Is it a little harder? Maybe - but it's worth it IMO.


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## Windigo (Nov 14, 2011)

BigCutieBonnie said:


> I honestly think most men like a fuller figured woman whether they are man enough to admit it or not



Jep, for instance I have this ex boyfriend that only dates bbw's cause he thinks ''real women should have curves and be soft''. However when asking him if he's an FA he denies it, saying he ''loves them for who they are''. Still he never has a thin girlfriend; either he's in denial or just in the closet. 

And I met a lot of guys like him, they all dated me (and I'm a BBW) and other big girls. Maybe it's because there isn't a big FA culture in the Netherlands that they just have no name for their preference, though one of my friends calls himself a ''chubby chaser''. 

I just hope to find my own ''chubby chaser'' that is concious about it in the future


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## lindso604 (Nov 14, 2011)

Yeah I kind of do... then again, college campuses may give me the best pool to choose from. Even still, I've never had a guy explicitly express interest in my body type or those built like me except online and whatnot... 

maybe it's easier to say that there may be FA's, but a lot may not be comfortable with publicly expressing it. I can't speak for FAs, though, so I could be completely wrong.


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## liz (di-va) (Nov 14, 2011)

This thread is kinda...sane. Warms my cockles.


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## mszwebs (Nov 14, 2011)

I think that men are less likely to self identify as FA's if they are not active (and I'll include lurkers here) in the "community."

My ex always claimed he liked big boobs, but he touched my belly as much as any of the FA's I've been with...in sexual and non-sexual situations, and made comments alluding to me turning him into an ass man as well. the thing is, he had no online life at all. No computer, no e-mail, no smart phone etc. I think that he just didn't know that there was a group of people who gave some kind of name to being into big girls.

I also have a friend who when I first met him, didn't identify as an FA, so much as said he "just thinks fat girls are pretty." I don't know how he feels about the label now, but I know that he's openly been with girls my size and larger.

And one of the first guys I ever entered into friendship with online had no idea what the hell an FA was, and thought the term was kinda weird. He just liked BBW, which is why he was on the old ratingbbw.com.

So...I think that there are a bunch of guys out there that like fat girls, to varying degrees. But there are 7 billion people in the world, so that's gonna take some of us a while to get through them all and find "the one" lol.




lostjacket said:


> Haha, I gotta wonder though - does this need to come out as your opening line? Uh...I like fat chicks. Most of the time if you take your time and just talk to the girl (who is a person btw) she'll open up.
> 
> Is it a little harder? Maybe - but it's worth it IMO.




I had a conversation about this with a guy a few weeks ago. He identifies as an FA, but was more laid back about it. Like, he wouldn't lie if asked, but it's not a conversation starter, as lostjacket alludes to above. He just dates fat girls. He lives it and doesn't feel the need to verbally advertize it.

I think that's a good thing....and a bad thing sometimes, too.


I "get" the fact that skywriting your preference may not be the most comfortable thing, and that actions speak louder than words. And believe me. I love the action as much as the next girl. 

But sometimes, I need the words. I need to know that someone is not interested in me INSPITE of my body. That you're looking at me and appreciating it and not looking past my fat to my sparkling wit and amazing personality. I don't need to be with someone who only dates fat girls, but if you are, I want to know. 

And it surprised me that he, was in fact surprised that I would want to know that.

I understand that a lot of women are not in the same place as me (and I've been in varying degrees of this "place" for the last 3 years), so no, maybe it doesn't have to be the opening salvo in the dating war, but eventually and organically, it should come out.





liz (di-va) said:


> This thread is kinda...sane. Warms my cockles.



I know, right??


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## Webmaster (Nov 14, 2011)

mszwebs said:


> I had a conversation about this with a guy a few weeks ago. He identifies as an FA, but was more laid back about it. Like, he wouldn't lie if asked, but it's not a conversation starter, as lostjacket alludes to above. He just dates fat girls. He lives it and doesn't feel the need to verbally advertize it.



And that's perfectly okay. I suppose the vast majority of all FAs are that way. But then there are also the inquisitive ones, the ones who always seek answers. Why do I feel this way? Are there others who feel this way? How do they see the world? And what does it look like from the other side?

I also believe that the farther away from the accepted norm a preference -- or anything for that matter -- lies, the more likely we are to investigate it, and the more likely it is to occupy our minds.


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## zzz (Nov 14, 2011)

Well, not all of us live their dreams... 

I am a more or less open FA - will tell my preference to anyone who asks, but will not (or maybe just rarely) start 'that discussion' on my own. 

I live with my g/f for more than 5 years now. She is thin - actually, even a bit thinner than average. Tried to fatten her up (told her about my preference, showed websites such as Dimensions) but it didn't work out - she is simply a thin person, it's her nature. 

But I do love her, and we do live together. I browse BBW websites, she is pretty much aware of that, and that's it. We do have some issues in our relationship every now and then, but that is due to reasons completely unrelated to weight. 

If I was asked whom to fall in love with, I would choose a BBW. If I ever break up with my girl, I will probably actively seek BBW. But, life put me here where I am, and I am not unhappy with that...


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## Yakatori (Nov 14, 2011)

mszwebs said:


> "_...I think that men are less likely to self identify as FA's if they are not active (and I'll include lurkers here) in the "community."_"


But I would speculate that, partially, it seems that way because, correctly or not, people will operate from the assumption that being attracted to someone just for how they are is more acceptable within such a community.



mszwebs said:


> I think that's a good thing....and a bad thing sometimes, too. I "get" the fact that skywriting your preference may not be the most comfortable thing, and that actions speak louder than words. And believe me. I love the action as much as the next girl.
> 
> But sometimes, I need the words. I need to know that someone is not interested in me INSPITE of my body. That you're looking at me and appreciating it and not looking past my fat to my sparkling wit and amazing personality. I don't need to be with someone who only dates fat girls, but if you are, I want to know.
> 
> And it surprised me that he, was in fact surprised that I would want to know that.


It really works both ways. I mean, I think guys can just expect that high-left pitch at some point or another, to be asked "why me?" And however they might answer that; even when they're not, so much, answering-it in direct response to an explicit question; it is both an opportunity to be type-cast ("a guy who's into fat chicks," "a guy's who into-me sexually," "a guy that considers me a real-friend") as well as a chance to transcend all of that, to hit-it out of the park, so-to-speak. Whatever it is a person tends to lead-with, probably what they're most comfortable talking about, that's what they ought to be conscious of applying some counter-weight against.


mszwebs said:


> "_...but eventually *and organically*, it should come out._"


Yeah, I agree.


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## mszwebs (Nov 14, 2011)

Yakatori said:


> But I would speculate that, partially, it seems that way because, correctly or not, people will operate from the assumption that being attracted to someone just for how they are is more acceptable within such a community.
> 
> No. I mean that they don't know the community exists. The odds of someone outside of the fatosphere waking up and literally saying "I like how fat looks on a woman. I must be a Fat Admirer" are slim, mostly because it's not a common term outside this realm.
> 
> ...



My responses are in Red. My multi-quoting with a quote skillz were off this morning lol


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## liz (di-va) (Nov 14, 2011)

Webmaster said:


> And that's perfectly okay. I suppose the vast majority of all FAs are that way. But then there are also the inquisitive ones, the ones who always seek answers. Why do I feel this way? Are there others who feel this way? How do they see the world? And what does it look like from the other side?
> I also believe that the farther away from the accepted norm a preference -- or anything for that matter -- lies, the more likely we are to investigate it, and the more likely it is to occupy our minds.



As far as your second paragraph goes: I don't know if you mean FAs in general there or the "inquisitive" type, but I disagree with you if it's the former. Some guys still really don't feel the need to investigate it, even if they like only very big women. It's just what they like, how they live their life. But either way it's cool.

As far as what I like/need, esp as a fat chick of the too-big-for-Lane-Bryant, two-airplane-seat-needing type, I think I agree with mzzwebbzz: I do like hearing that a guy likes my size specifically, or that a guy likes big girls. Organically. All that. Feels nice.


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## AnnMarie (Nov 14, 2011)

liz (di-va) said:


> As far as what I like/need, esp as a fat chick of the too-big-for-Lane-Bryant, two-airplane-seat-needing type, I think I agree with mzzwebbzz: I do like hearing that a guy likes my size specifically, or that a guy likes big girls. Organically. All that. Feels nice.




Very much agree. I like to know that, it matters to me along with all the other "I like you" parts.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Nov 14, 2011)

liz (di-va) said:


> As far as your second paragraph goes: I don't know if you mean FAs in general there or the "inquisitive" type, but I disagree with you if it's the former. Some guys still really don't feel the need to investigate it, even if they like only very big women. It's just what they like, how they live their life. But either way it's cool.
> 
> As far as what I like/need, esp as a fat chick of the too-big-for-Lane-Bryant, two-airplane-seat-needing type, I think I agree with mzzwebbzz: I do like hearing that a guy likes my size specifically, or that a guy likes big girls. Organically. All that. Feels nice.





AnnMarie said:


> Very much agree. I like to know that, it matters to me along with all the other "I like you" parts.



Yep, I completely agree. But the funny thing is if it's like the FIRST thing he says to me, it bugs me, because it makes me think that's all he cares about. I guess it's all truly about it being an organic, not forced, part of the conversation, as the rest of y'all have said, and about timing.


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## Surlysomething (Nov 14, 2011)

I honestly believe they're few and far between.


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## lostjacket (Nov 14, 2011)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Yep, I completely agree. But the funny thing is if it's like the FIRST thing he says to me, it bugs me, because it makes me think that's all he cares about. I guess it's all truly about it being an organic, not forced, part of the conversation, as the rest of y'all have said, and about timing.



See this is what I was trying to get at - it shouldn't immediately come after hi. That's just weird...

Plus, you come off like a douche.


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## olwen (Nov 15, 2011)

liz (di-va) said:


> As far as your second paragraph goes: I don't know if you mean FAs in general there or the "inquisitive" type, but I disagree with you if it's the former. Some guys still really don't feel the need to investigate it, even if they like only very big women. It's just what they like, how they live their life. But either way it's cool.
> 
> As far as what I like/need, esp as a fat chick of the too-big-for-Lane-Bryant, two-airplane-seat-needing type, I think I agree with mzzwebbzz: I do like hearing that a guy likes my size specifically, or that a guy likes big girls. Organically. All that. Feels nice.





AnnMarie said:


> Very much agree. I like to know that, it matters to me along with all the other "I like you" parts.





BigBeautifulMe said:


> Yep, I completely agree. But the funny thing is if it's like the FIRST thing he says to me, it bugs me, because it makes me think that's all he cares about. I guess it's all truly about it being an organic, not forced, part of the conversation, as the rest of y'all have said, and about timing.



Yes, Yes, and Yes.


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## LittleCthulhu (Nov 16, 2011)

guitarist13 said:


> I think that one of the reasons many FAs might not be as vocal about their preference is simply that a lot of fat girls aren't comfortable with that idea outright. I never told my ex girlfriend "I like your fat," I just showed her through actions. Directly addressing the issue, knowing her personality, would have made her very uncomfortable. She had had an eating disorder when she was younger, so I thought that the best way to make her comfortable with herself and realize that she was beautiful (which I believe she was partly on the way to before she met me) was to just take it slow and make it obvious to her how I felt.
> 
> Maybe I should have said it. I planned on eventually saying something if the relationship had continued, but we had some differences that ended things before I had the chance. It's too soon to say, but if we remain friends and are at all close, it might come up in the future.
> 
> What I'm getting at is, if you say "I like fat girls, and I like you" to someone, then they might take offense if they don't identify with being fat. If I'm incorrect, please set me straight, I'd love to know a better way to approach this issue in real life.





There is a concern, I imagine, that when you say you like fat that the object of your desire may feel just that-an object. A fetish. A taboo. I personally wish there were more men who told me they liked my fat. It's only happened once and I felt more liberated with them than I have anyone else. Previous partners I know have cared for me because they wouldn't be intimate with me otherwise. But for me there is a real difference to know that my body is sexually appealing and not just something that they put up with because they dig my personality.


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## NoWayOut (Nov 16, 2011)

Obviously, you won't be with someone in spite of their size, but you shouldn't be with them *because* of it either. A person's size can be a part of why you like them, but not the whole reason.


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## ScreamingChicken (Nov 18, 2011)

To borrow a marketing phrase..."location, location, location".

Here in Houston, BBWs are pretty much the norm and SSBBWs are hardly rare. The majority of these ladies that I see usually have a wedding/ engagement ring on their finger and/or a smiling man on their arm. FAs are not rare by any stretch of the imagine. I know more than a few guys who appreciate big girls. In my close circle of friends, every female is a BBW or is can be considered plump and the vast majority are spoken for. All the males in my circle are romantically involved with BBWs.

And for the record, none of us met through any BBW centered social events or networks.


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## b01 (Nov 20, 2011)

goofy girl said:


> I don't think they're rare I just think most of them just consider themselves guys that like big girls (or big guys) and leave it at that, and don't get involved in the community and if they do its just to look at pictures lol



You hit the nail on the head there. I was like that, then I realized one day that I could be with one instead of just looking at one. Then I finally married one.


While I believe there are a lot of us out there. Some FA may feel that they have reasons for not getting involved in the community. For example it's hard to find big women that don't self loath being fat. I sure don't want to be with someone with no confidence and self esteem. That is depressing.

Another example would be FAs that get ridiculed by a BBW/BHM that they like. I know a BBW (guess she really isn't a BBW if she dislikes herself) who thinks all guys that come on to her a weird because they like her and she's fat. She can't comprehend it and thinks it's strange for someone to like a BBW/BHM. Facing that some FA choose not to fight for what they want and stay in the closet. Jumping from woman to woman, one failed relationship after another; instead of finding a woman who is confident with herself.

It's ironic that FAs get rep from the Jerks out there that treat BBW/BHM poorly. Yes it happens to men, I'm sure everyone here has seen that one guy on teen mom. :doh:


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## b01 (Nov 20, 2011)

Could it also be possible that a lot of you may be overlooking a great FA because your chasing your dream/exciting/ideal FA. Your white knight in shining armor.

A remember back in middle school and high school crushing hard on some ladies and they completely ignored me because I didn't hang with the popular crowd. Even though I was smart and had a job in the latter situation.

There was one in particular whom I liked and made advances toward, but her "cousin" thought that she should leave me alone. It particularly ended when my Sister put me on the spot and asked me in front of her if she were my girlfriend. I didn't even answer. For two reasons. One, I had not asked her to by my girlfriend yet, so to say yes would have been presumptuous. Two, I was very shy, let alone be so cocky as to say that she was my girlfriend even though she hadn't given me permission. So I ended up looking like a real little boy in front of her. Now thinking back I would have just said I'm working on it.:blush:


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## CastingPearls (Nov 20, 2011)

b01 said:


> Could it also be possible that a lot of you may be overlooking a great FA because your chasing your dream/exciting/ideal FA. Your white knight in shining armor.


I'm a bit confused. Perhaps you could educate me on something. In this post (in fact, it was of concern enough for you to open a thread about it),

http://dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1814490&postcount=1

you justify and defend your position (and speak on behalf of other FAs) to have an ideal BBW chosen from porn--at least that's how I read your post. I personally take no issue with porn (love it) but it is a legitimate question or concern to people when they're objectified or held to an unrealistic ideal AND THEN you post this, stating that BBWs are overlooking a great FA because THEY'RE chasing an ideal.

Am I wrong about your double standard?


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## b01 (Nov 20, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> I'm a bit confused. Perhaps you could educate me on something. In this post (in fact, it was of concern enough for you to open a thread about it),
> 
> http://dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1814490&postcount=1
> 
> ...



I speak for myself and NOT other FAs, that was my own personal opinion and only now, after you pointed it out, do I realize that I applied it to entire FA community as a whole. That is my mistake and I apologize for that, as I have no authority to speak for anyone but myself.

Also another mistake I made is thinking I knew what FA meant. I thought it meant "Fat Admirer", with the simple definition of someone whom admires fat people, doesn't call them names and treats them respectfully. But apparently on Dims it means guys who go trolling for fat girls and take advantage of their poor self esteem to get them into bed.

I never said Susie sparks was my "ideal" woman. The woman I married looks nothing like Susie Sparks. Size or shape. I realized when I was younger, it made no sense wasting so much of my time looking at porn when I could be out in the world having a "REAL" relationship, and not just some silly fantasy. So I got rid of any porn I had and started talking to real women. Also I realized there are many other types of women out there, not just some idea in my head.

In that post I rant, because I don't like how some people post as if porn sites are to blame for all the negative publicity. If we want people to look at us overweight people in a positive light, we need to give them positive examples, instead of complaining.

I also don't make a habit of focusing on just a woman's TNA. I don't have it stuck in my head that I only like fat women. Before I got married I accepted the fact that my wife can get fat or skinny. And that is not a reason for divorce. I'm in for the long haul.


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## bigmac (Nov 22, 2011)

guitarist13 said:


> I think that one of the reasons many FAs might not be as vocal about their preference is simply that a lot of fat girls aren't comfortable with that idea outright. ...



Yes! I once referred to a girlfriend as "my pretty little fat girl" -- she started crying and locked herself in her room for half an hour.

Lots of BBWs don't want to be reminded of the fact that they're fat and will punish guys who do remind them. So FAs learn to keep quiet.


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## Fat Brian (Nov 22, 2011)

bigmac said:


> Yes! I once referred to a girlfriend as "my pretty little fat girl" -- she started crying and locked herself in her room for half an hour.
> 
> Lots of BBWs don't want to be reminded of the fact that they're fat and will punish guys who do remind them. So FAs learn to keep quiet.



This is so true, you learn very early on to keep your mouth shut. I know there are other things to compliment, but sometimes you really want to express some appreciation for her size but it truly is a mine field.


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## Pinktutu (Nov 23, 2011)

I was with a guy who loved me I had no idea he was a FA. I met up with him again after I got my divorce. I've gained a lot of weight since I dated him 20 years ago and he said I was still beautiful which I told him I found hard to believe and he told me "Karlene you're my type, I love your belly, your breasts and your big ass" I was shocked but it's AMAZING to be with someone who isn't trying to change you and who loves you the way you are.


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## jaserella (Nov 24, 2011)

Boyfriend/dating material FAs? Zip, zero, zilch: very rare. Dudes that will shout, "damn you're well built" or "what size are those beautiful boobs?", I get a few times a month, the previous 2 example happened a a Dr's office and the gas station.

But my pretty size 2 and 4 friends have a similar problem, a plethora of sleazy 24-36 year old "men", that seem unable to come up with a non salacious compliment or a simple non threatening way to ask for a date.


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## olwen (Nov 24, 2011)

jaserella said:


> Boyfriend/dating material FAs? Zip, zero, zilch: very rare. Dudes that will shout, "damn you're well built" or "what size are those beautiful boobs?", I get a few times a month, the previous 2 example happened a a Dr's office and the gas station.
> 
> But my pretty size 2 and 4 friends have a similar problem, a plethora of sleazy 24-36 year old "men", that seem unable to come up with a non salacious compliment or a simple non threatening way to ask for a date.



I think at some point in high school, a woman needs to sit down with the guys and tell them how to approach girls in a respectful and non-threatening way. How To Get Game 101. LOL


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## DevilynStJames (Nov 28, 2011)

I browsed through some of the replies and I can agree will quite a few. In my experience there are plenty of men who appreciate a bigger woman, be it a bbw or ssbbw. However I find that smaller bbws get much more "play". As an SSBBW I think men are a little more intimidated, are there men out there for us? Hell yes, but more need to come forward , out of the closet and with realistic expectations. It takes a strong man to weather societys prejudice against extremely large women.


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## Keb (Dec 1, 2011)

If they're not rare, they're not speaking up. Or else I'm not the right kind of fat girl for them. 

Cuz the days I even get a vague compliment from a man are veeeeeeeeeeeeery far between.


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## Pinktutu (Dec 1, 2011)

Keb said:


> If they're not rare, they're not speaking up. Or else I'm not the right kind of fat girl for them.
> 
> Cuz the days I even get a vague compliment from a man are veeeeeeeeeeeeery far between.


I hear that. There are a few polite men on the BBW websites but more often than not it's skeezy men


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## PunkyGurly74 (Dec 1, 2011)

I am still going with they are Unicorns...

Completely mythical creatures...and the men I have talked to online - you have to live completely up to their spank bank fantasy/ideal/must be exactly like this......I get preferences....I have them too, but, to be so rigid and to put expectations on another is just wrong.. I mean are they really looking to meet someone or to just find an excuse to remain closeted because you know..."she weighs 400lbs and doesn't want to gain" or "or legs are too small" or "she is an apple" or "she doesn't have an ass".

Honestly, before I started joining and participating in BBW/SSBBW dating sites and even this site I had far better body image/self esteem. Because I knew men who didn't like me because of my size didn't like me...fair enough - not their preference. But, then to be constantly rejected by men who claim to have the preference for liking big women who won't even give you a shot because you are too big, or too whatever...so, where does that leave me? Welllllll....I can have sex with them because I'm good enough to sleep with, but, not date publicly. Which is right where I was a decade ago lol. 

So, I say once more - FA's are freakin' unicorns.


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## bigmac (Dec 1, 2011)

PunkyGurly74 said:


> I am still going with they are Unicorns...
> 
> Completely mythical creatures...and the men I have talked to online - you have to live completely up to their spank bank fantasy/ideal/must be exactly like this......I get preferences....I have them too, but, to be so rigid and to put expectations on another is just wrong.. I mean are they really looking to meet someone or to just find an excuse to remain closeted because you know..."she weighs 400lbs and doesn't want to gain" or "or legs are too small" or "she is an apple" or "she doesn't have an ass".
> 
> ...



An endangered species maybe -- but not quite unicorns -- maybe there should be a captive breeding program .

Regarding guys with ultra-specific requirements -- I'd blame internet porn. Guys get used to looking at very young BBWs acting for the camera. Despite the fact that porn is obviously fantasy some guys seem to expect their dates to look and act like porn models (I bet this happens in the thin world too). People need to get a clue -- if your date is more than a few years out of high school there's going to be some normal wear and tear (applies to both guys and girls).


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## PunkyGurly74 (Dec 2, 2011)

bigmac said:


> An endangered species maybe -- but not quite unicorns -- maybe there should be a captive breeding program .
> 
> Regarding guys with ultra-specific requirements -- I'd blame internet porn. Guys get used to looking at very young BBWs acting for the camera. Despite the fact that porn is obviously fantasy some guys seem to expect their dates to look and act like porn models (I bet this happens in the thin world too). People need to get a clue -- if your date is more than a few years out of high school there's going to be some normal wear and tear (applies to both guys and girls).




You are awesome Sir totally. :bow: Captive breeding program..hehehehe Awesome... 

I think porn is some of it, the accessibility..etc now compared to 20 years ago is insane. Some of course is the age old peer pressure and society..again, these are my experiences and by no means am I trying to imply this as the standard...but, really, CBP (captive breeding program - now I have images of men in stables..oh my gawd) aside - secure, intelligent, men who have the preference of fat women are unicorns to me - a mythical creature I have heard tales of, but, have yet to encounter LOL


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## Keb (Dec 2, 2011)

Eh, if they're unicorns, a virgin like me oughta be able to see 'em 

If you're out there, FAs, let us girls know? Please?


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## Webmaster (Dec 2, 2011)

PunkyGurly74 said:


> So, I say once more - FA's are freakin' unicorns.



Not really. We're here, we're real.


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## AuntHen (Dec 3, 2011)

I am pretty sure that I *just *saw one at the grocery store... (and ladies he was very cute if you are interested). I may be wrong but he was looking at me like I was a cupcake that he wanted to devour! Or maybe he just never saw a fat girl before? hahaha... 

hmmm... now I want a cupcake


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## bbwsrule (Dec 3, 2011)

guitarist13 said:


> I think that it's impossible to say how common FAs are. I, for one, do not wear my FA badge on my sleeve. I just got out of a relationship with my first plus-sized partner, but the reason I hadn't dated someone her size before wasn't because I was afraid to be seen with her, but just simply because my life had never introduced me with the right one before. She knew I found her sexy, and everyone we were with in public knew that I found her sexy by the way we acted. But I was not going to go and tell her and everyone around me "I'm an FA." I don't personally think it's anyone's business. So if one of you saw me and didn't know me, you might have pegged me as a guy who just happened to have a fat girlfriend, not necessarily as an FA. But I am one. It was physically the best relationship I've ever had, and emotionally as well in many ways (but that's another story.)
> 
> Additionally, my roommate has a plus-sized girlfriend. Is he an FA? I have no idea. We don't talk about it. I guess what I'm getting at is this: just because an FA isn't vocal about his preference doesn't mean he's the sort of spineless FA who doesn't date fat girls in real life.
> 
> I hope I'm making sense. I feel like that was beating around the bush, but I didn't know how else to organize it.



I think this is well said: not only is my FAness not something I broadcast, but my political beliefs and religious beliefs as well. It is not that I would not or have not ever said anything just that I prefer to keep my thoughts to myself (in public, here of course they are anonymous).

My wife is a beautiful BBW and she knows that I like big but I have never been more specific than that. She would prefer to be thinner but isn't willing to do what is required to do it so she is glad that I feel the way that I do.
I would not really want her obsessing about my specific body parts, just saying and expressing love and attraction to me is quite fine. So, I try to return the favor.

I do find some other BBWs (and thinner women) quite attractive but don't flirt much as I don't feel good about doing so in my firmly monogamous relationship.

So, if you saw me with my wife you would see how much we love each other (many have commented on that). No one has ever asked me if I love fat girls. As the previous poster said, I would never ask anyone else who is with a big girl if they are an FA -- it is none of my business.

Hope this provides a little insight about at least one FA.


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## PunkyGurly74 (Dec 3, 2011)

Webmaster said:


> Not really. We're here, we're real.



Well, let me change the wording "single FA's are unicorns" - better? hehehehe


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## NoWayOut (Dec 10, 2011)

PunkyGurly74 said:


> Well, let me change the wording "single FA's are unicorns" - better? hehehehe



I'm no unicorn.


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