# Raging FFA Moment



## olwen (Jul 29, 2008)

I just wanted to share an experience I had today and please forgive me if it sounds at all offensive to anyone: 

A very tall and handsome BHM stepped onto the elevator today at work around lunchtime. He was wearing glasses, a stylish white polo shirt and jeans. His closely cropped haircut made him look rather hipsterish and I'd venture to say he was around my age. The shirt which was a bit tight around the middle showed off his rather full and luscious and meaty love handles which rested atop a rather full and thick bottom. I was so turned on, it was all I could do to resist the sudden and powerful urge to reach out and squeeze his precious love handles, only to then throw him down on the floor and make passionate vanilla love to him. These kinds of urges don't happen to me often _with anybody_ and the strength of it just surprised me. There were four other people in that elevator and in that moment I just didn't care. I wanted him - bad. 

Ladies, have any of you ever had such urges as these?


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## JiminOR (Jul 30, 2008)

Passionate vanilla love? That gets a big ol LOL right there.

"Let's get PASTY"!

bwakka chicka bwaa bwaaa


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## MetalGirl (Jul 30, 2008)

Oh yes, but I rein them in and save them up for a loving relationship. If I were in the same situation, I would of felt the way you did. Only, I wouldn't of thrown him down and made passionate love to him. He'd of thrown me down and made passionate love to me. But, really that's just quibbling. You got to have an elevator ride with a smoking hawt guy, lucky.


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## Dr. P Marshall (Jul 30, 2008)

The guy who was the subject of this post in fact:


http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=513512&postcount=1



Your sister in sleaziness,
Dr. P


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## velia (Jul 30, 2008)

olwen said:


> I just wanted to share an experience I had today and please forgive me if it sounds at all offensive to anyone:
> 
> A very tall and handsome BHM stepped onto the elevator today at work around lunchtime. He was wearing glasses, a stylish white polo shirt and jeans. His closely cropped haircut made him look rather hipsterish and I'd venture to say he was around my age. The shirt which was a bit tight around the middle showed off his rather full and luscious and meaty love handles which rested atop a rather full and thick bottom. I was so turned on, it was all I could do to resist the sudden and powerful urge to reach out and squeeze his precious love handles, only to then throw him down on the floor and make passionate vanilla love to him. These kinds of urges don't happen to me often _with anybody_ and the strength of it just surprised me. There were four other people in that elevator and in that moment I just didn't care. I wanted him - bad.
> 
> Ladies, have any of you ever had such urges as these?



Rawr, yes! I make it a habit to restrain myself, though, and take it out my my sexy spouse when I get home. It works out.  If I was single-- oh man, I'd fear for some of the gents around here.


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## olwen (Jul 30, 2008)

Dr P, thanks for the link. It made me giggle. 

Glad to know I'm not alone. I was just so shocked by my reaction since A) I haven't had vanilla sex in over a year and B)I'm just usually able to contain myself. I'm going to have to give vanilla sex another whirl soon I think. I've forgotten how nice that kind of pain free lovin can be.


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## olwen (Jul 30, 2008)

JiminOR said:


> Passionate vanilla love? That gets a big ol LOL right there.
> 
> "Let's get PASTY"!
> 
> bwakka chicka bwaa bwaaa



Let's get pasty. Hahaha. I'm going to use that line Jim. Thanks.


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## JiminOR (Jul 30, 2008)

No prob. So, did you say anything to the portly hot gentleman? He probably didn't even have a clue. 

There should be a secret sign or code, or something that an FFA would give to let us bigger guys know that you're in the secret club, cause if most of the guys are like me we just are oblivious when it comes to female attention.


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## olwen (Jul 30, 2008)

Sorry Jim, I kept quiet. I had to otherwise I'd have been arrested LOL. But I was standing behind him in full view of his hot ass and thick thighs and those love handles pushin out of the sides of his pants...oh man, it's getting hot in here. I agree, there should be a secret signal, maybe wink and a touch to the tip of the nose would do?

He probably didn't have a clue at all. Sigh.


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## BigFunAce (Jul 30, 2008)

Please.. if any of you ladies are ever in that situation with me in the elevator... just grab me and have your way with me... lol..


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## WhiteHotRazor (Jul 30, 2008)

I'm cosigning with Ace on that one


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## velia (Jul 30, 2008)

JiminOR said:


> There should be a secret sign or code, or something that an FFA would give to let us bigger guys know that you're in the secret club, cause if most of the guys are like me we just are oblivious when it comes to female attention.



I know! What's with that? I've watched women fawn all over my husband, and when they're done, I'll say, "Damn, babe, did you even notice? That chick was all over you!"

"No," he'll say, "What are you talking about?"


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## WhiteHotRazor (Jul 30, 2008)

I say the code should be you randomly say "it's time for chicken!" in your best over exaggerated swedish accent


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## HDANGEL15 (Jul 30, 2008)

*I'm gonna play devils advocate now y'all.......
IF I were in fact to say hey...
I THINK YOU ARE SEXY as hell 
or 
I Want to fondle you....
what would you *REALLY THINK* 
from a complete stranger.............?????

would you think I was for real or kidding,
as I have run into this situation before
and the BHM really didn't believe I MEANT IT 

and for the record I would personally just want to hump him 
on the spot, but wouldn't :doh:

*


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## Zandoz (Jul 30, 2008)

HDANGEL15 said:


> *I'm gonna play devils advocate now y'all.......
> IF I were in fact to say hey...
> I THINK YOU ARE SEXY as hell
> or
> ...



Having been on the bad ends of more than one "Fun at the fat guy's expense" encounters, yes, I would not be believing. If I were single, the response would likely be something along the lines of skeptical/sarcastic "Yeah...OK...knock yourself out"....since not single, probably just chuckle and maybe an eyeroll.


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## Melian (Jul 30, 2008)

Yeah, coming on strong does tend to scare the big men away (in my experience, at least.....but you never know - I might just be really gross  ). They don't take you seriously and, eventually, you just get mad and stop trying.

Still...I've seen the occasional BHM that I'd love to ravage in a public place. Hehehe. Luckily, my fiance lets me grope him inappropriately in public whenever I want!


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## Bountiful1966 (Jul 30, 2008)

BigFunAce said:


> Please.. if any of you ladies are ever in that situation with me in the elevator... just grab me and have your way with me... lol..



hahah i would be afraid of rejection lol


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## ThatOneGirl (Jul 30, 2008)

This happens to me allll the time! It takes extraordinary amounts of willpower for me to not jump on a hot fat guy. However, I don't think I've ever been to busy to chat a hot fat guy up, so at least they know I think they're hot, even if they haven't been pushed to the wall or anything haha.


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## JiminOR (Jul 30, 2008)

Melian said:


> Yeah, coming on strong does tend to scare the big men away (in my experience, at least.....but you never know - I might just be really gross  ). They don't take you seriously and, eventually, you just get mad and stop trying.
> 
> Still...I've seen the occasional BHM that I'd love to ravage in a public place. Hehehe. Luckily, my fiance lets me grope him inappropriately in public whenever I want!



Well, before I found this place, I would have felt the same way. I've been skinny and fat, and in my experience skinny guys get all the attention. Also I've been taught all my life that fat people are gross, and nobody is gonna want me if I'm fat. So yeah, if some girl were to seriously start hitting on me, I'd be wondering how much her friends bet her to do it. At least a couple of months ago I would have.

Now that I discovered that there are women out there who like the bigger guys, I know better. You start hitting on me, I will flirt right back. After all, you could be in the secret club! And I've also started changing my habits in everyday life. I will make eye contact with random women, smile at them, say hi, because hey, you never know, they might be checking me out. Before I would be polite, but would never be all like "how you doin"? 

It's time for chicken, bork bork bork.


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## Melian (Jul 30, 2008)

JiminOR said:


> Well, before I found this place, I would have felt the same way. I've been skinny and fat, and in my experience skinny guys get all the attention. Also I've been taught all my life that fat people are gross, and nobody is gonna want me if I'm fat. So yeah, if some girl were to seriously start hitting on me, I'd be wondering how much her friends bet her to do it. At least a couple of months ago I would have.
> 
> Now that I discovered that there are women out there who like the bigger guys, I know better. You start hitting on me, I will flirt right back. After all, you could be in the secret club! And I've also started changing my habits in everyday life. I will make eye contact with random women, smile at them, say hi, because hey, you never know, they might be checking me out. Before I would be polite, but would never be all like "how you doin"?
> 
> It's time for chicken, bork bork bork.



It's definitely frustrating from both sides, isn't it?
Good to hear that you're on FFA-watch now, though


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## iheartsquishys (Jul 30, 2008)

This definitely happens to me. I go one of two ways when I'm around a hot guy. Either I turn into a blubbering idiot or say whatever comes to mind first which is usually something completely inappropriate. Right now I'm on a roll with one of the guys I work with. He's about a foot taller than me and probably 200 pounds heavier. He has an adorable face which is humorously hot with his many tattoos. And the absolute sexiest love handles I've every seen. Last month I came through the door and was caught off guard to see him standing at the top of the stairs on his day off. I managed to trip over the trash can I was carrying and roll down the stairs, through all the trash. I almost cried. 

Today we were in the elevator. He asked if I was staying late to work a party and I told him no I was going home. He said he was jealous and my involuntary response was "you're welcome to come home with me." I tried to play it off like I was kidding but I so wasn't. I turned bright red and ran out of the elevator as quick as I could. :blush:

I always try to let a hottie know when I think he's attractive because I don't think enough girls do. Maybe they would be a little more confident/willing to approach girls if we let them know we think they're attractive. It apparently worked for JiminOR. However I'm afraid this is insulting to assume that I'm the only girl attracted to them or the only one that will let him know. Its similar to assuming they won't turn me down just because they're big. BHM's, how do you feel about this? Would you appreciate a girl telling you she's attractive even if she isn't planning on pursuing anything? Also I'm really shy around cute guys so it doesn't always work. 

BTW way to go JiminOR. There is nothing sexier than a squishy with confidence.


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## WhiteHotRazor (Jul 30, 2008)

iheartsquishys said:


> BHM's, how do you feel about this? Would you appreciate a girl telling you she's attractive even if she isn't planning on pursuing anything?



Everyone likes a compliment..I've had women tell me I'm attractive and I don't just assume they're planning on pursing something..I've gotten pretty good at reading if a women is interested in me or not...oh and you're definitely right about the confidence part, I've had more women respond to me because of that


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## olwen (Jul 30, 2008)

HDANGEL15 said:


> *I'm gonna play devils advocate now y'all.......
> IF I were in fact to say hey...
> I THINK YOU ARE SEXY as hell
> or
> ...





Zandoz said:


> Having been on the bad ends of more than one "Fun at the fat guy's expense" encounters, yes, I would not be believing. If I were single, the response would likely be something along the lines of skeptical/sarcastic "Yeah...OK...knock yourself out"....since not single, probably just chuckle and maybe an eyeroll.





Melian said:


> Yeah, coming on strong does tend to scare the big men away (in my experience, at least.....but you never know - I might just be really gross  ). They don't take you seriously and, eventually, you just get mad and stop trying.
> 
> Still...I've seen the occasional BHM that I'd love to ravage in a public place. Hehehe. Luckily, my fiance lets me grope him inappropriately in public whenever I want!





JiminOR said:


> Well, before I found this place, I would have felt the same way. I've been skinny and fat, and in my experience skinny guys get all the attention. Also I've been taught all my life that fat people are gross, and nobody is gonna want me if I'm fat. So yeah, if some girl were to seriously start hitting on me, I'd be wondering how much her friends bet her to do it. At least a couple of months ago I would have.
> 
> Now that I discovered that there are women out there who like the bigger guys, I know better. You start hitting on me, I will flirt right back. After all, you could be in the secret club! And I've also started changing my habits in everyday life. I will make eye contact with random women, smile at them, say hi, because hey, you never know, they might be checking me out. Before I would be polite, but would never be all like "how you doin"?
> 
> It's time for chicken, bork bork bork.



I'm feeling the same way.



iheartsquishys said:


> ...I always try to let a hottie know when I think he's attractive because I don't think enough girls do. Maybe they would be a little more confident/willing to approach girls if we let them know we think they're attractive. It apparently worked for JiminOR. However I'm afraid this is insulting to assume that I'm the only girl attracted to them or the only one that will let him know. Its similar to assuming they won't turn me down just because they're big. BHM's, how do you feel about this? Would you appreciate a girl telling you she's attractive even if she isn't planning on pursuing anything? Also I'm really shy around cute guys so it doesn't always work.
> 
> BTW way to go JiminOR. There is nothing sexier than a squishy with confidence.




These responses are interesting to me if only because I've only recently begun to feel comfortable enough to not only flirt with men, but to initiate flirting. Initiating is still hard, but I try to do it when the mood strikes and so far I haven't gotten any I don't believe you type responses. Now I wonder if it's because of my size. I don't know. I've never given it much thought. It never even crossed my mind that the fat guys I've winked at or smiled at in that way would think I wasn't sincere. I haven't had that are-you-fuckin-with-me response to men who've flirted with me in a very long time. These days I just assume it's sincere. Who doesn't want to hear compliments. I'd hope that if a woman flirts with a fat guy that it would make him feel empowered in some way. I'm not always attracted to guys who flirt with me, but it still makes me feel like I'm the shit for the moment when it happens. Now I wish I hadn't been too awed to speak to the guy. 

And I agree, squishy confidence is very sexy indeed.


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## stefanie (Jul 30, 2008)

Yup, *Olwen*, I've been there. All I can do is repeat over and over, "You're married ... you're married." Sometimes they're married too (to a woman *or* a man)! There really are some beautiful fat men out there.


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## Victim (Jul 31, 2008)

I've been cultivating my FFAdar to the point where I can recognize the signs when I see them. Last week I was lying down on the dock at South Lake Union Park working on my writing. A woman walking from the other direction smiles and gives me one of those looks of overwhelming approval that you just KNOW after a while.

Another one I've learned to recognize is when they have that slightly kinky smile, but are trying to hide the fact they want you but can't quite manage it. This only makes it more apparent. Last one I caught that from, I bent down on one knee almost right in front of her in the movie theater lobby to 'tie my shoe'. I leaned my belly over the leg I had down as I reached over to tie my shoe. I swear she was about to fall off the bench she was sitting on. 

I've been married close to 19yrs (August is our 19th), but I still like to know that other women can find me attractive.

Part of developing the FFAdar was bringing my self confidence up to the point where I could 'put something out' to see if I got any hits. This site and BFC have helped quite a bit.


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## Surlysomething (Jul 31, 2008)

That happens to me ALL THE TIME. It's almost embarassing.


And i'm so specific in my love of BHM that I can hardly even appreciate the aesthetic appeal of anything but.


There are a LOT of delicious BHM's in my neighborhood, i'm really blessed. 


:eat2:


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## MaxArden (Jul 31, 2008)

I'm all for the first move being made by the FFA...Hell, if it weren't for women making the first move I'd have had no sex life at all...


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## Tad (Jul 31, 2008)

I wasn't more than a bit chunky at the time, and my wife is not so much an FFA, but I'll say that my wife made about the first five moves....which I managed to convince myself didn't mean anything, and then at a party she came up, stuck her arm around my waist, kept it there for the next two hours, and then told me I had to walk her back from the party, then that we were taking the short cut through the park, then that we were going to take a rest on that bench, and then made the first move to get kissing started.

After that I accepted that maybe she had some interest in me, but I still wasn't all that sure :doh:

Yah, guys can be pretty oblivious.


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## olwen (Jul 31, 2008)

Victim said:


> I've been cultivating my FFAdar to the point where I can recognize the signs when I see them. Last week I was lying down on the dock at South Lake Union Park working on my writing. A woman walking from the other direction smiles and gives me one of those looks of overwhelming approval that you just KNOW after a while.
> 
> Another one I've learned to recognize is when they have that slightly kinky smile, but are trying to hide the fact they want you but can't quite manage it. This only makes it more apparent. Last one I caught that from, I bent down on one knee almost right in front of her in the movie theater lobby to 'tie my shoe'. I leaned my belly over the leg I had down as I reached over to tie my shoe. I swear she was about to fall off the bench she was sitting on.
> 
> ...




You evil tease.


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## olwen (Jul 31, 2008)

Surlysomething said:


> That happens to me ALL THE TIME. It's almost embarassing.
> 
> 
> And i'm so specific in my love of BHM that I can hardly even appreciate the aesthetic appeal of anything but.
> ...



What do you usually do tho? Do you always try to flirt or do you just admire silently from afar?


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## Surlysomething (Jul 31, 2008)

olwen said:


> What do you usually do tho? Do you always try to flirt or do you just admire silently from afar?


 

It depends where they are I guess and if they're alone. I TRY to be flirty if they're in my vicinity.  

But just like this board for the most part, I get the impression they're seeking the skinny FA as opposed to my voluptous one.


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## olwen (Jul 31, 2008)

MaxArden said:


> I'm all for the first move being made by the FFA...Hell, if it weren't for women making the first move I'd have had no sex life at all...



I know we live in a time where it's okay for the woman to make the first move, which is awesome and sometimes I do it, but part of me prefers it when the guy (fat or thin, younger or older) takes the lead and flirts with me in a way that shows he is warm and confident and commanding. I just gravitate towards that. 

I forget that a BHM would be too shy to make the first move and I would just assume that if he's not responding to my flirting with him or if he is not initiating flirting with me it's because he's either not interested in me or is already taken. I really will think about that next time.


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## olwen (Jul 31, 2008)

Surlysomething said:


> It depends where they are I guess and if they're alone. I TRY to be flirty if they're in my vicinity.
> 
> But just like this board for the most part, I get the impression they're seeking the skinny FA as opposed to my voluptous one.



I do understand that, but that isn't always the case. I know initiating it is hard when you're not sure if the guy would be interested in you or not, but half the fun of flirting is just to do it. It doesn't always have to lead anywhere. It's easier for me to flirt if I'm already talking to the guy about anything for whatever reason. I don't think I've ever just hit on men at random - verbally anyway. I doubt I'd be able to hide any suggestive facial expressions. :blush:


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## olwen (Jul 31, 2008)

edx said:


> I wasn't more than a bit chunky at the time, and my wife is not so much an FFA, but I'll say that my wife made about the first five moves....which I managed to convince myself didn't mean anything, and then at a party she came up, stuck her arm around my waist, kept it there for the next two hours, and then told me I had to walk her back from the party, then that we were taking the short cut through the park, then that we were going to take a rest on that bench, and then made the first move to get kissing started.
> 
> After that I accepted that maybe she had some interest in me, but I still wasn't all that sure :doh:
> 
> Yah, guys can be pretty oblivious.



LOL It's funny cause I've been there too with a skinny guy. The only thing that would have convinced me he was into me is if he had said it outright. 

After I read this post I thought about the BHM I dated in college and I realized I made all the first moves with him.


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## persimmon (Jul 31, 2008)

olwen said:


> ...I wanted him - bad.
> 
> Ladies, have any of you ever had such urges as these?



I'm having *cough* Inappopriate Thoughts *cough* about a co-worker, an ex-football player for whom a 3X labcoat is somewhat small. Something about watching that huge guy hunched over the vent hood, using his big gloved-up hands to measure out teeny amounts of chemicals...it's very gratifying, somehow. Like watching dads play with their babies.

p


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## olwen (Jul 31, 2008)

persimmon said:


> I'm having *cough* Inappopriate Thoughts *cough* about a co-worker, an ex-football player for whom a 3X labcoat is somewhat small. Something about watching that huge guy hunched over the vent hood, using his big gloved-up hands to measure out teeny amounts of chemicals...it's very gratifying, somehow. Like watching dads play with their babies.
> 
> p



This scenario would make for a good erotic story, just you know, without the babies part.


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## PolarKat (Jul 31, 2008)

Polarkat makes iridium look like apple sauce...


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## olwen (Jul 31, 2008)

PolarKat said:


> Polarkat makes iridium look like apple sauce...



...Um...What?


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## PolarKat (Aug 1, 2008)

olwen said:


> ...Um...What?



If I were anymore dense when it comes to noticing that I'm getting hit on.. I would turn into a black hole..


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## persimmon (Aug 1, 2008)

olwen said:


> This scenario would make for a good erotic story, just you know, without the babies part.




He does the ordering for the pharmacy. Last week one of the totes contained a) gloves and b) lube. For a second I wondered what he had planned.


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## butch (Aug 1, 2008)

This thread has given me a raging FFA moment. I just hope God sees fit to place a lucious fat man on the subway today when I'm riding it, and the train is crowded, and he has to stand thisclose to me on the train, and....:eat2:


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## Qit el-Remel (Aug 6, 2008)

Victim said:


> I've been cultivating my FFAdar to the point where I can recognize the signs when I see them. [...]
> 
> Part of developing the FFAdar was bringing my self confidence up to the point where I could 'put something out' to see if I got any hits.


Heh...guess I'm not the only one who uses the term "FFAdar." 

As for me...ummm. I was taking a computer class at the local community college, and this big guy in a tight white T-shirt strolls past. I had to sternly remind myself not to touch.

-Qit


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## Kazak (Aug 6, 2008)

missaf said:


> I was in Buena Park ...


HEY!!!! i live like a couple blocks from the bp mall. but it wasnt me u saw. ;P


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## persimmon (Aug 23, 2008)

So we have a new pharmacist who met the tech for the first time, and somehow the conversation turned to how big he is. "No, guess how much I weigh," he told her.

I turned around and started very deliberately re-shelving some drugs, but I KNEW she was guessing low. I know me some fat boys.

(360. Yum!)

p


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## otherland78 (Aug 23, 2008)

Oh hehe i wouldn´t mind..... a little fear hehe ehm...what for exactly bye the way ;-) ?


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## nickoftyme (Aug 24, 2008)

I live in NYC if the Urge every strikes my # is 917... haha


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## iheartsquishys (Aug 25, 2008)

For some reason I feel the need to share another one of my "raging FFA moment=me making ass of self" stories. 

I had a call in for work the other night. I was working from 10 PMish until 6 AM then went home to clean up and eat then went back to start my regular shift at 7. Some of our equipment is under water and we have volunteer divers come in to do PM on it. My favorite is in his mid twenties with with a very cute smile. He's about 6 ft. and 300 pounds. He carries his weight all over. There isn't a part of him that isn't soft and squishy. He is one of those very quiet, polite guys that gets red in the face anytime more than two people are listening to him. I'm the first and only girl on staff so I just use the guys' locker room. 

I was ready for a wake up shower by lunch at 12:30. I was the only staffer on that day and the divers are always in the water by noon. I flipped over my "Tits is in here." sign and opened the door. I walked in and he was still struggling to get into his wet suit. Wet suits are meant to fit "most" people not all people. It was quite possibly the sexiest thing I've ever seen. 

He was in his skivvies with the suit half on, trying to get it up over one of his thighs. When he would bend over to reach the suit his belly would rest on his thigh and get in his way. He was trying to lift up his belly out of the way and pull the suit up at the same time. He didn't notice me when I walked in and it stopped me dead in my tracks. He was already red from the struggle but flushed even deeper when he noticed me standing there ogling him. Even after he caught me eye fondling him, I couldn't turn away. It wasn't until my keys slipped out of my frozen hand that I realized what I was doing was completely inappropriate. 

I half mumbled, half shouted something incoherent and ran out of the room. I wanted to cry, I felt so bad for what I did. The look on his face didn't say he understood I was appreciating what I was watching. Even if he did understand, it was still a huge violation of privacy and I'd be pissed if it was me. I've always been so careful to make sure the room is clear, even when I'm 99% sure no one is in there. A few of the guys were concerned about something like this when I started so I've always made a point to be ridiculously careful to protect their privacy. I was just tired and didn't bother to call out. I also blame the lack of sleep for my stupor and not responding appropriately to the situation. I feel terrible and I don't know how to fix it.


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## Wagimawr (Aug 25, 2008)

There must be a way you can talk to him, apologize AND assure him that what you did was out of fascination and attraction, not disgust or ridicule.

I don't know what that way is, but there must be one. *hugs* Being caught ogling happens to all of us at least once, I'd hope  certainly has to me.


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## William (Aug 25, 2008)

Hi 

Find time to talk to the guy and let know that you understand that it was a invasion of his privacy, but your error came from positive acceptance on your part and not a "freak-show" mentality.

The guy may know even know that there are FFAs out there 

William




iheartsquishys said:


> For some reason I feel the need to share another one of my "raging FFA moment=me making ass of self" stories.
> (


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## Tad (Aug 25, 2008)

Heart;

I'd start with the 'invasion of privacy' thing.

I would suggest writing a note as soon as possible. Perhaps slide it in his locker or something, but however you do it, in such a way that he can easily read it in privacy, and have time to think it over without you standing there.

The format I’d suggest is apologize, excuse, apologize, look forward, apologize, sign-off. I’m giving an example below, but obviously you want to find words that sound more normal coming from you.

You want to start off with a simple apology. “I’m so sorry for walking in on you the other day. It was unintentional and I feel horrible that I invaded anyone’s privacy.” (note the &#8216;anyone’s privacy’ wording. You want to make it clear that you’d feel just as bad walking in on anyone else. Re-enforce that you know you made a mistake “I can’t believe that I forgot to knock, and this is a lesson that I won’t soon forget.”

Then you can offer the excuse, in another paragraph. “I’m normally really careful about making sure everybody is out before I go in. I’d worked the overnight shift, then turned right around for the day shift, and I was such a zombie that I simply forgot. I thought the room would be empty, but I forgot to check. When I saw you I was surprised, but still so tired that I just froze and didn’t know what to do or say.”

Next paragraph is apology time again “Obviously I should check every time I go in there, no matter whether I think the room is clear or not. When I saw someone was in there I should have immediately let you know I was there and then backed out. I’d never thought this would happen and I wasn’t ready for it. If I should ever somehow have this happen again I’ll be better prepared.”

Next paragraph is where you try to make the whole thing work to your advantage. “I’ve always enjoyed working with you and I hate the thought that I may have upset you. Could we please talk about this? I think it is really important to do so and clear things between us. I really want to be good with you again, if possible.”

Time for the final apology and clarification. “Again, I’m so sorry for be so careless, and for being so stunned at the time that I didn’t deal well with it. I know you were more dressed than I’d see on the beach, but you expected privacy and I broke that, and feel bad that I broke that.

“I really do hope we can talk this over, Squishy”

I would not actually say “I liked what I saw” as that kind of reinforces the breach of privacy. But at the same time don’t apologize for seeing him like that, as you aren’t actually sorry about getting that eyeful. Instead the apology is all for walking through that door, then having very delayed reactions. 

If you do get to talk to him, he may apologize that you saw him like that. Be ready with a good come back line. Maybe something like “Normally I’d pay good money to see that!” or less aggressively “Nothing to apologize for, believe me!” Not outright leering, but just to make it clear that you were not revolted.

The other thing to consider is whether you need to talk to your boss about it. I think it would be better to approach him, rather than let any sort of rumor be all that he hears. There you can talk to him, and keep it short. “Look a few days ago, when I was doing that day shift after the night shift, I went into the locker room mid-day when I thought it was empty, and I forgot to knock. [Joe] was in there, suiting up. I was totally caught by surprise, and froze. When he finally realized I was there I snapped too and got out of there. I really do try not to do that, and I think the odds of me ever doing it again are way down, but I thought you should know. Also I feel really bad for [Joe] and I left a note for him, apologizing.”

I hope this was not too much adivce dumped on you.


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## Zandoz (Aug 25, 2008)

I'd second the idea of a brief and to the point note of apology for the invasion of privacy, an explanation of your reaction, and an expressed openness to talking about the whole situation if he wishes...gotten to him in a way he could read and absorb in private. If I were in his shoes, I'd see that as a very classy move.


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## Victim (Aug 25, 2008)

"Can I help you get into that?"

Okay, that might not have been appropriate...


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## Zandoz (Aug 25, 2008)

missaf said:


> I think a note is kinda cowardly, and since he's shy already, chances are she'd never even get a response. A face to face interaction would allow him to see she's serious, and she'd get to see his reaction.




Initiating another uncomfortable situation, for the purpose of apologizing for a previous uncomfortable situation, would to me make things worse. It should not be about her seeing his reaction...which if positive, she'll be able to tell from future interaction any way.


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## William (Aug 25, 2008)

Yeah 

I note is better than a face to face,

William



Zandoz said:


> I'd second the idea of a brief and to the point note of apology for the invasion of privacy, an explanation of your reaction, and an expressed openness to talking about the whole situation if he wishes...gotten to him in a way he could read and absorb in private. If I were in his shoes, I'd see that as a very classy move.


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## Tad (Aug 25, 2008)

missaf said:


> I think a note is kinda cowardly, and since he's shy already, chances are she'd never even get a response. A face to face interaction would allow him to see she's serious, and she'd get to see his reaction.



My reasoning for the note was that, given that he is shy and easily embarrassed, if she tries to talk with him the odds are good that he's going to be too embarrassed to function well. So the note let's him know where she is at and gives him time to get his thoughts together. 

But I agree that there could be an issue if he doesn't follow up....that would be when I'd say to try and catch him and say "Did you get my note? Can we talk?"

*shrug* maybe it simply comes from being a guy, so that if I've invaded someones personal space I want to back up and make very sure of it before approaching again, because with guys there can be a thought that the guy is being aggressive/intrusive. Like, if the genders were switched, would you advise a guy to go and talk to the woman after he'd walked in on her?

But the genders aren't switched, so maybe things play out differently than I'd think, and just talking to him would be easier. 

I still think you can't go too far wrong with a note, so it is low risk. And talking to the boss I think is really important. An honest mistake is pretty easy to forgive for most people.


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## Ichida (Aug 25, 2008)

Raging FFA moments...happen to me ALL the time. Sometimes it feels sooo inappropriate. I'm in sales (trucking) so I go in to the shipping doors all the time and get to oogle the big shippers and drivers. I also have appointments with the big wigs, whos regular lunch outings make them thick around the middle...

I think my favourite would have to be...There was this cute guy on a forklift (they look like golf carts that pick things up) and as he went by me over a bump his gut literally was suspended for a second, then dropped over his belt and started jiggling. Now his shirt was tight and tucked in (MY FAVOURITE) and I was literally in the sales pitch zone so I was literally like:

"Absolutely! Because your freight required special handling our distribution facility will....**eyes wrench away drool, start, wrench eyes away** "Um. Yes, our....facility..will handle your freight really good!" **facepalm** He was like ?? and I was like oh, my god, i am such a dip...

As an FFA I'll tell you BHM - I'm terrified to approach you when i can find you in a situation its even apprpriate to hit on you. Even when i get the raging FFA moment there is no way to approach you usually...

The only thing worse than going out with a skinny boy is going out with a BHM who doesn't believe/can't accept the whole FA thing!


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## olwen (Aug 25, 2008)

missaf said:


> I think a note is kinda cowardly, and since he's shy already, chances are she'd never even get a response. A face to face interaction would allow him to see she's serious, and she'd get to see his reaction.



I'm agree with Missaf. Notes are kinda junior high. I'd just pull him aside and I'd apologize outright, just come out and say it without adding more words than necessary. But do say that you know how you would feel if it happened to you. Like if you say something like: "I'm really sorry about the other day. I know how I would feel if some guy who wasn't my boyfriend oggled me that way....I didn't mean to be skeevy, really, I just couldn't help myself. If it makes you uncomfortable, I totally understand and it won't happen again." He might ask you to clarify. And who knows if he knows you are checkin him out he might just start flirting with you. Don't just let it go by tho. It would make him feel worse and he might act more akward around you than usual. That would be uncomfortable all around.


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## olwen (Aug 25, 2008)

edx said:


> My reasoning for the note was that, given that he is shy and easily embarrassed, if she tries to talk with him the odds are good that he's going to be too embarrassed to function well. So the note let's him know where she is at and gives him time to get his thoughts together.
> 
> But I agree that there could be an issue if he doesn't follow up....that would be when I'd say to try and catch him and say "Did you get my note? Can we talk?"
> 
> ...




If I got a note from a guy after something like that happened to me, I might find the note to be even more skeevy than the initial faux pas, plus I'd wonder think he was too much of a pussy to just talk to me face to face and that would turn me off even more....But I do understand that it might be different for guys in matters like this. So, Dunno....i still think face to face would be better - for him.


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## Ichida (Aug 25, 2008)

I'd approach it roundabout...It sounds like you see him regularly, so a note isn't necessary. Sometimes making a bigger issue out of it than it is can set him off more. When he comes in just walk up and say "I am so, so sorry about the other day...I'm usually not such a airhead I should have called out!" That will give him a chance to recover the face he's lost without making it a huge deal - if he was just another dude and not a hot BHM would you treat him any different? If you are too akward he might feel akward because he thinks he made YOU feel akward due to his size...if that makes sense?? **feels dizzy herself at that turnabout**

If you dig him and maybe wanna date him on his way OUT you could even make a pass...that will show clearer than anything you didn't mind his look.

Thats my two cents!


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## Smite (Aug 25, 2008)

How about raging BHM moments?


Oh, I guess that doesn't make much sense :O


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## cute_obese_girl (Aug 26, 2008)

olwen said:


> I'm agree with Missaf. Notes are kinda junior high. I'd just pull him aside and I'd apologize outright, just come out and say it without adding more words than necessary. But do say that you know how you would feel if it happened to you. Like if you say something like: "I'm really sorry about the other day. I know how I would feel if some guy who wasn't my boyfriend oggled me that way....I didn't mean to be skeevy, really, I just couldn't help myself. If it makes you uncomfortable, I totally understand and it won't happen again." He might ask you to clarify. And who knows if he knows you are checkin him out he might just start flirting with you. Don't just let it go by tho. It would make him feel worse and he might act more akward around you than usual. That would be uncomfortable all around.



Just food for thought here, but I think this may fall under the category of gender difference. If the OP was apologizing to a woman, I'd agree that the note would not be the best approach. However, since she is apologizing to a man I tend to defer to what the guys here are saying. In this case I don't feel a note would be cowardly, but an attempt to prevent any further embarrassment on his part.


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## stefanie (Aug 26, 2008)

Smite said:


> How about raging BHM moments?
> 
> 
> Oh, I guess that doesn't make much sense :O



Of course it does ... if you're a big guy into other big guys! ; )


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## Ichida (Aug 26, 2008)

I have to say I am going to adopt the term "Raging FA moment"

I've always lacked the words to describe the moments where if i was a guy i would have a raging something else LOL

That term is perfect.


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## William (Aug 26, 2008)

That may could only come after the ragging FFA monent.

William




Smite said:


> How about raging BHM moments?
> 
> 
> Oh, I guess that doesn't make much sense :O


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## Smite (Aug 26, 2008)

I'm not even going for the boner joke


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## olwen (Aug 26, 2008)

cute_obese_girl said:


> Just food for thought here, but I think this may fall under the category of gender difference. If the OP was apologizing to a woman, I'd agree that the note would not be the best approach. However, since she is apologizing to a man I tend to defer to what the guys here are saying. In this case I don't feel a note would be cowardly, but an attempt to prevent any further embarrassment on his part.



I gotta say, I'm a bit perturbed by the fact that so many feel the need to want to treat the guy with kid gloves. I just don't understand why he wouldn't be able to handle this conversation face to face. If the roles were reversed I would expect a face to face apology shortly thereafter. I just don't see how or why this shouldn't be the case here. 

I'm getting the general sense that straight fat guys are so socially inept that any chance for actual interaction with the opposite sex should be avoided at all cost. Am I right? Is that really how people feel or am I waaay off the mark?


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## William (Aug 26, 2008)

Hi

I thought she should use a note in case the guy thought she was staring at him for negative reasons instead of attraction. It would stop things from getting off to a bad start.

William




olwen said:


> I gotta say, I'm a bit perturbed by the fact that so many feel the need to want to treat the guy with kid gloves. I just don't understand why he wouldn't be able to handle this conversation face to face. If the roles were reversed I would expect a face to face apology shortly thereafter. I just don't see how or why this shouldn't be the case here.
> 
> I'm getting the general sense that straight fat guys are so socially inept that any chance for actual interaction with the opposite sex should be avoided at all cost. Am I right? Is that really how people feel or am I waaay off the mark?


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## olwen (Aug 26, 2008)

William said:


> Hi
> 
> I thought she should use a note in case the guy thought she was staring at him for negative reasons instead of attraction. It would stop things from getting off to a bad start.
> 
> William



Sorry, but that doesn't make sense to me. If he thought she was staring for negative reasons, then things are already off to a bad start, so how can a note make it better than a face to face, especially when a note couldn't convey the sincerity and kindness in her voice that a face to face could? It would be better for him to see the look in her eyes and hear the tone of her voice when she apologizes. A note will leave him free to think all kinds of things and who knows how many of those things would be positive?


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## William (Aug 26, 2008)

I should have said that the note would be to lead to a face to face. It is just a opening gesture.

I do not think that the people suggesting she use a note at first were thinking of it as being easy on the guy, but as a tool to disperse any anger he may have had if he thought she was staring at him for the wrong reasons.

William







olwen said:


> Sorry, but that doesn't make sense to me. If he thought she was staring for negative reasons, then things are already off to a bad start, so how can a note make it better than a face to face, especially when a note couldn't convey the sincerity and kindness in her voice that a face to face could? It would be better for him to see the look in her eyes and hear the tone of her voice when she apologizes. A note will leave him free to think all kinds of things and who knows how many of those things would be positive?


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## olwen (Aug 26, 2008)

Okay William, 

Still doesn't make sense to me, but I'll just stop here and just regard it as stylistic difference. No wrong way, no right way.

I am interested in what Iheartsquisys has actually decided to do.


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## cute_obese_girl (Aug 27, 2008)

olwen said:


> I gotta say, I'm a bit perturbed by the fact that so many feel the need to want to treat the guy with kid gloves. I just don't understand why he wouldn't be able to handle this conversation face to face. If the roles were reversed I would expect a face to face apology shortly thereafter. I just don't see how or why this shouldn't be the case here.
> 
> I'm getting the general sense that straight fat guys are so socially inept that any chance for actual interaction with the opposite sex should be avoided at all cost. Am I right? Is that really how people feel or am I waaay off the mark?



I can see why you're annoyed by that thought. I'm not saying that as a fat man he is too fragile or needs to be treated with kid gloves at all. He lives in the real world just like the rest of us. I just think that resolving a problem by talking out is the preferred solution for women, not necessarily for men.

I'm curious to know how she handled it also.


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## Tad (Aug 27, 2008)

With some guys it might be different, but the guys was described as:



> He is one of those very quiet, polite guys that gets red in the face anytime more than two people are listening to him.



So I kind of figure that he may not be very confident, and is very likely someone who does a bit better when they have time to gather their thoughts and put their words together. And as he is mentioned as polite, I figure a slightly formal approach may help.

In general I like the note route anyway, but then again I had a pretty WASP upbrining where one worked hard to avoid any sort of situation where someone could be embarrassed, so I just tend to lean that way. But I was also thinking about the person in question. If he'd been described as someone who was usually outgoing, joking around, and so on, OK, I could see a different approach.

But isn't this just part of the world? We all have our ways of doing things, which is why any advise on the internet should at most be grist for the mental mill.


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## cute_obese_girl (Aug 28, 2008)

I've been trying to think of a raging FFA moment to post in this thread, and I was finally reminded of one. A local school was having a fundraising night at one of those crappy chain "Mexican" restaurants. Anyway, I went because my friend at the time worked for the school. They had mariachis playing music and the lead singer was crazy hot. He was wearing the traditional mariachi dress, which can be sort of tight and consists of a short jacket and is perfect for showing off a belly and a round butt. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Once we left the restaurant my friend said "Damn, did you like that guy or what?"  I told her "yeah, he was hot."


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## olwen (Aug 28, 2008)

cute_obese_girl said:


> I've been trying to think of a raging FFA moment to post in this thread, and I was finally reminded of one. A local school was having a fundraising night at one of those crappy chain "Mexican" restaurants. Anyway, I went because my friend at the time worked for the school. They had mariachis playing music and the lead singer was crazy hot. He was wearing the traditional mariachi dress, which can be sort of tight and consists of a short jacket and is perfect for showing off a belly and a round butt. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Once we left the restaurant my friend said "Damn, did you like that guy or what?"  I told her "yeah, he was hot."



I hope next time, you wrap a fiver around a paper with your number on it and hand it to him on your way out the door with a smile and a wink.


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## Undine (Aug 28, 2008)

Recent raging FFA moment:

I was at a concert last week in a venue that is known for being a tight squeeze. The staff like to pack people into the "dance floor" with no regard for whether or not they'll all actually fit, which usually annoys the hell out of me and I end up shooting nasty looks at the bouncers all night. My annoyance was growing as the night progressed, and I'm gazing around aimlessly during a set change, trying to maintain my personal bubble, when I see the bouncers trying to cram more people into the space. They're sending a line of people right in front of me. Great.

All of a sudden I feel the most increeeeeedibly big, soft belly smush into me. This very cute, short, very fat guy was trying to squeeze by me. He was wearing a green polo shirt with thin white stripes, and his ears were gauged. I was so shocked and, uh, pleased, I literally gasped out loud. Of course, it was too loud for him to hear me, and he moved on, but I spent the rest of the night looking around for him. And I seriously LOVE the band that was playing...but between every song, I was up on my tip-toes trying to find this guy again. Alas, I saw him leaving about twenty minutes before the show was over.

/sigh

It was an awfully nice surprise, though. I wish I could have let him know that he made my night.


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## olwen (Aug 28, 2008)

Undine said:


> Recent raging FFA moment:
> 
> I was at a concert last week in a venue that is known for being a tight squeeze. The staff like to pack people into the "dance floor" with no regard for whether or not they'll all actually fit, which usually annoys the hell out of me and I end up shooting nasty looks at the bouncers all night. My annoyance was growing as the night progressed, and I'm gazing around aimlessly during a set change, trying to maintain my personal bubble, when I see the bouncers trying to cram more people into the space. They're sending a line of people right in front of me. Great.
> 
> ...



Talk about a tight squeeze. At least you got to touch him. Sigh indeed.


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## cute_obese_girl (Aug 29, 2008)

olwen said:


> I hope next time, you wrap a fiver around a paper with your number on it and hand it to him on your way out the door with a smile and a wink.



I know, I'm such a chicken shit! I should have had way more tequila that night, but I was driving.  Alas, the mariachi band was special for the event only so I have no way of finding him


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## bigpulve (Sep 5, 2008)

I thought I would revive this....






But I am completely unaware of girls that are "flirting" with me.....and actually if a girl came out and was blunt I would take it as kidding....because it has happened to me....


Hell my mother has told me about girls that were flirting with me......I didnt even notice.


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## olwen (Sep 6, 2008)

bigpulve said:


> I thought I would revive this....
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I'm sorry, but this part made me giggle. I can understand that you never noticed but I have to ask, do you remember what they did to flirt with you?


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## olwen (Sep 6, 2008)

missaf said:


> Michael Strelo-Smith from "America's Got Talent!" is hawt. I'm his biggest fan on MySpace



I've never seen this show, but I think I may have to tune in. He IS cute.


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## GordoNegro (Sep 6, 2008)

Great thread, you've given others hope as opposed to hitting 'Crunches/Gold's' and turning flab into muscle etc.


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## olwen (Sep 6, 2008)

Cool  Viva la Dims.


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## Morbid (Sep 13, 2008)

dang.. i need to get on more elevators and go food shopping more... lol... hope theres some FFA's looking at me where ever i go... if so.. please come up to me and talk to me... 

:kiss2: Morbid :kiss2:


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## Lovelyone (Sep 13, 2008)

olwen said:


> I just wanted to share an experience I had today and please forgive me if it sounds at all offensive to anyone:
> 
> A very tall and handsome BHM stepped onto the elevator today at work around lunchtime. He was wearing glasses, a stylish white polo shirt and jeans. His closely cropped haircut made him look rather hipsterish and I'd venture to say he was around my age. The shirt which was a bit tight around the middle showed off his rather full and luscious and meaty love handles which rested atop a rather full and thick bottom. I was so turned on, it was all I could do to resist the sudden and powerful urge to reach out and squeeze his precious love handles, only to then throw him down on the floor and make passionate vanilla love to him. These kinds of urges don't happen to me often _with anybody_ and the strength of it just surprised me. There were four other people in that elevator and in that moment I just didn't care. I wanted him - bad.
> 
> ...


 
NO offense, but all I could think of was cheesy porn music and a video titled "Fat girl gets banged in an elevator" I gotta stop watching porn. Bow chicka Bwah wow!


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## olwen (Sep 13, 2008)

Lovelyone said:


> NO offense, but all I could think of was cheesy porn music and a video titled "Fat girl gets banged in an elevator" I gotta stop watching porn. Bow chicka Bwah wow!



No offense taken. It's kinda funny. I'd watch that video, only it should be called fat guy gets banged in an elevator.


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## bigpulve (Sep 14, 2008)

olwen said:


> I'm sorry, but this part made me giggle. I can understand that you never noticed but I have to ask, do you remember what they did to flirt with you?


It was true...it was at an applebees. A little bit larger girl I guess kept looking at me, and sort of leaning over. She was in a prom dress with some cleavage showing. Also she got up like 2 times and walked by me....


I did notice after my mother told me she was flirting with me, that she bent over 3 times....



Only problem is she was at most 16.....Im 20....


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## iheartsquishys (Sep 14, 2008)

I'm finally giving an update on my eye fondling fiasco. Thanks to all of you for your advice and comfort. Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you. I wanted to see how things went before just deciding it was resolved or not. 

In the end I took no one's advice. Right after this happened we started preparing our building for Gustav. A lot of what we do can't be done until after the doors close to the public so it was a whirlwind of activity. We were down a couple guys and the diver I eye fondled applied for one of the positions. We pretty much hired him on the spot. 

My boss was planning on riding out the storm in the building with a few other guys and immediately left to prep his house. He left me in charge for the final few days before the storm. I usually handle it well but hate it when he does this. I just don't like it. In the rush to prep the building there was really no time to have a conversation with the new guy other than telling him what his job was and how to do it. I did manage to let him know I'd like to talk to him in private sometime but we just didn't have time. Things were pretty intense for a couple days and I have a tendency to really ride the guys when we're under the gun and bark out orders. Our interactions didn't exactly indicate I was embarrassed or concerned about the locker room incident. 

We left for the storm without talking. When we got back it was time to pack away all our storm supplies and ready the building for opening. The boss was ready to get out since he had been living in the building for 4 days so again he left me in charge. I was more relaxed but there was still a lot to do. We worked for about 12 hours. Since we were still having power problems we were still on storm rider schedule and staying in the building to monitor generators etc. 

We all ate dinner together and goofed around for a while. I think this gave the new guy a chance to get to know me a little outside of my usual at work roles of taking orders and staying quiet or giving orders. 

I was the first to go to bed. I was exhausted but I also like to give them a chance to vent about me when I'm in charge. We sleep on cots and I heard the new guy come in a little later and get into bed. (for those with a good imagination feel free to take this story in a completely different direction from this point on, just keep in mind the room was only illuminated by an extremely large fish tank) I felt bad cause I knew the cots would not be comfortable at all for him since I was already irritated that there wasn't enough room for me to rest my arms on the cot. After 15 minutes of hearing him shift positions I asked "So, I guess you're not sleeping either?" He vented for a few about how crappy they are and I let him know I'd work on talking our boss into getting something better before next storm season. 

We talked for a while longer and he asked what it was I had wanted to talk to him about. I didn't have the mental capacity to handle that conversation then and I wasn't sure it was necessary by then so I told him it was nothing. He rolled over like he was going to sleep and I let the silence go for a minute but it was bothering me then and I knew I wouldn't sleep. Finally I poked him (resisted groping him). He said "Yes?" and I said sorry. He was quiet. Then I realized he didn't know what I was talking about so I told him it was about the locker room. He said he thought he was the one who should be apologizing to me. I let him know that if I didn't think he would have been offended I would have thanked him rather than apologizing. He very clearly heard me but still asked what. I told him I wasn't staring cause I was looking at something I didn't like seeing. He still didn't believe me and asked if I thought he was attractive. I used my best sarcastic serious voice and told him as his supervisor I didn't feel that was an appropriate question for me to answer. He asked me for a few minutes and then accepted I wasn't going to answer him any more. 

Luckily we've settled into a nice work relationship and he seems to understand that I was complimenting him, not hitting on him. The guys are all aware of my attraction to big guys and have of course started joking about him finding creative ways to work his way to the top.  In their world I'd sleep with any guy a pound over the "ideal" weight for his height.


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## HDANGEL15 (Sep 14, 2008)

*Was at the gym today doing my typical Sunday morning *SPIN* class..if you dont' know..its a pretty aerobic class on bikes varying resistance etc...i was wiped out, sweating, red as hell, like usual..but came in a little late so wanted to burn a few more calories..so went on to start doing some lifting....and then 3/4 way through chest, realized there was this class called *BODY PUMP* going on...with just my 2 best friends at the gym in there...and this kinda Handsome Bigger guy that i have seen over the last 2-3 yrs.....he was very very very friendly and outgoing towards me, he asked me if he could ask a question he always wanted to.....I was hoping it wouldn't be the *TYPICAL* tattoo question, but it was....such is life lolol...i couldn't help notice his biggish belly flopping the entire time and getting in the way...seems he is a *REGULAR* in that class....and I will be too..it was a killer workout with weights, and long slow counts*


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## olwen (Sep 14, 2008)

bigpulve said:


> It was true...it was at an applebees. A little bit larger girl I guess kept looking at me, and sort of leaning over. She was in a prom dress with some cleavage showing. Also she got up like 2 times and walked by me....
> 
> 
> I did notice after my mother told me she was flirting with me, that she bent over 3 times....
> ...



Age should def not be a reason not to notice. I'd think you'd have to be a little vigilant so you can say, sorry hon, but your too young for me....but for future reference, if a girl shows you the goods, she's def flirting with you.


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## olwen (Sep 14, 2008)

Squishy, thanks for giving us an update. I'm glad it didn't go as horribly as you thought. I'd say the way it turned out worked just as well. I'm not surprised he didn't believe you, but I bet he'll be considering things from now on....


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## olwen (Sep 14, 2008)

HDANGEL15 said:


> *Was at the gym today doing my typical Sunday morning *SPIN* class..if you dont' know..its a pretty aerobic class on bikes varying resistance etc...i was wiped out, sweating, red as hell, like usual..but came in a little late so wanted to burn a few more calories..so went on to start doing some lifting....and then 3/4 way through chest, realized there was this class called *BODY PUMP* going on...with just my 2 best friends at the gym in there...and this kinda Handsome Bigger guy that i have seen over the last 2-3 yrs.....he was very very very friendly and outgoing towards me, he asked me if he could ask a question he always wanted to.....I was hoping it wouldn't be the *TYPICAL* tattoo question, but it was....such is life lolol...i couldn't help notice his biggish belly flopping the entire time and getting in the way...seems he is a *REGULAR* in that class....and I will be too..it was a killer workout with weights, and long slow counts*



Ha, just make sure you get a good view. LI ove those mirror lined walls.


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## MickeyFFA (Sep 14, 2008)

I have a raging FFA moment every time I see Kevin James. A total hottie and a great stand up routine, the man is perfection. :eat2:


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## velia (Sep 14, 2008)

MickeyFFA said:


> I have a raging FFA moment every time I see Kevin James. A total hottie and a great stand up routine, the man is perfection. :eat2:



 You know, the man isn't my typical cup of tea, but I feel the same way. :eat2:


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## Cane (Sep 15, 2008)

I was on the bus on my way back from school the other day and it was quite crowded, I was forced to stand so I was standing RIGHT in front of this girl I had taken a class with, my considerably fat belly pushing against my tight shirt.

Low and behold, I look down to check her out (pretty cute ) and she's staring at my belly with her mouth slightly open. She bit her lip and swallowed hard and when I struck up a conversation she seemed all flustered about it.

Needless to say I got her number, but I'm pretty sure she's in women's studies. Yuck. 


Either way, $10 says she's an FFA and that was a raging FFA moment. I know that look when I see it. Not all guys are oblivious to you, you dirty FFAs.  Hahaha.


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## bigpulve (Sep 16, 2008)

olwen said:


> Age should def not be a reason not to notice. I'd think you'd have to be a little vigilant so you can say, sorry hon, but your too young for me....but for future reference, if a girl shows you the goods, she's def flirting with you.


Yeah I am working on this stuff....Just chicks are so damn confusing.....why do some of you flirt hardcore without having a goal in mind?


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## Undine (Sep 16, 2008)

One very long raging FFA moment:

When my family and I decided to go to the beach for the day on Sunday, we had no idea that it was Bike Week in Rehoboth Beach, DE, but oh...my...GOSH...was I ever glad. So much bouncing and jiggling on those bikes... I was practically plastered to the car window, drooling. Hot fat guys on motorcycles EVERYWHERE. /grin


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## HDANGEL15 (Sep 16, 2008)

Undine said:


> One very long raging FFA moment:
> 
> When my family and I decided to go to the beach for the day on Sunday, we had no idea that it was Bike Week in Rehoboth Beach, DE, but oh...my...GOSH...was I ever glad. So much bouncing and jiggling on those bikes... I was practically plastered to the car window, drooling. Hot fat guys on motorcycles EVERYWHERE. /grin


*
hahaha...now you get why I FKN LOVE the BIKER WORLD!!! no shirts, just vests and big bellys displayed and no worries....life is good....I live near there too 

did you see my bf? he was working for the weekend for his bike shop...6'5.....400+#...hard to miss him*


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## JiminOR (Sep 16, 2008)

bigpulve said:


> Yeah I am working on this stuff....Just chicks are so damn confusing.....why do some of you flirt hardcore without having a goal in mind?


 
That's not just a girl trait, I can be pretty flirty sometimes without really meaning anything behind it, it's just fun to flirt sometimes, that's all.


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## olwen (Sep 16, 2008)

bigpulve said:


> Yeah I am working on this stuff....Just chicks are so damn confusing.....why do some of you flirt hardcore without having a goal in mind?



Like Jim says, flirting can just be plain ole fun. It's not specific to girls either. Sometimes it's good to just do it to test the waters of your own confidence. And there have been times where I found it easier to flirt when I know I didn't want it to lead anywhere. 

Like any other activity, the more you do it, the better at it you get. One way I flirt is to touch in a playful way. So for example, if I see a guy with toned or muscular arms, I'd squeeze his arm and say something like "Oh my, such yummy arms you have." And I'd wink or raise my eyebrow, and then follow it up with "I do believe I've got the vapors." while I fan myself. Clearly, I'm attracted, and he can flirt back or not, either way it's fine, I still get to have my fun. See?


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## bigpulve (Sep 16, 2008)

olwen said:


> Like Jim says, flirting can just be plain ole fun. It's not specific to girls either. Sometimes it's good to just do it to test the waters of your own confidence. And there have been times where I found it easier to flirt when I know I didn't want it to lead anywhere.
> 
> Like any other activity, the more you do it, the better at it you get. One way I flirt is to touch in a playful way. So for example, if I see a guy with toned or muscular arms, I'd squeeze his arm and say something like "Oh my, such yummy arms you have." And I'd wink or raise my eyebrow, and then follow it up with "I do believe I've got the vapors." while I fan myself. Clearly, I'm attracted, and he can flirt back or not, either way it's fine, I still get to have my fun. See?


I think I get it.....still is annoying sometimes though.


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## Ichida (Sep 16, 2008)

Annoying because it stings when they dont mean it or annoying cuz you get it all the time??


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## olwen (Sep 16, 2008)

Yes, bigpulve, please explain.


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## TheMildlyStrangeone (Sep 16, 2008)

I wish I was the subject of a raging FFA moment


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## Cane (Sep 16, 2008)

TheMildlyStrangeone said:


> I wish I was the subject of a raging FFA moment



Bah, don't dilute yourself into thinking you haven't been the subject of one before! They happen all the time, a lot more than you might think, just need to keep your eyes open for them.


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## TheMildlyStrangeone (Sep 16, 2008)

Cane said:


> Bah, don't dilute yourself into thinking you haven't been the subject of one before! They happen all the time, a lot more than you might think, just need to keep your eyes open for them.



True, but it would be great to know about it.


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## Cane (Sep 17, 2008)

TheMildlyStrangeone said:


> True, but it would be great to know about it.



Hahah, I've often fantasized about single FFAs having little glowing halos over their heads so I couldn't miss them. But sadly, you've gotta rely on your own perception to notice them as many oogling FFAs can tend to be more passive, meaning although they might not have the guts or inclination to approach you, they still might respond quite positively and receptively if you open them. 

As was mentioned elsewhere [by Ichida], a handy trick I've been experimenting with as of late is fondling my belly idley, as if I don't notice I'm doing it, and then watching for anyone's eyes darting. Predictably, most girls don't stare, but that's because most girls aren't FFAs. However, FFAs are drawn to to a BHM touching his own belly, and will find it *very* difficult to resist watching. If you can spot this, you know you've just witnessed a "raging FFA moment." And it *does* happen, it happened to me on the bus just the other day (mentioned that earlier in this thread somewhere).

Anyway, best of luck dude!


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## BigBoiG (Sep 17, 2008)

> Passionate vanilla love



LMMFAO...

do your thing, m'aam.

or more specifically, his... =]

===================

raging FFA moments need to be vocalized to me more often...

when im feelin' lonely i could use a pretty girl who for whatever reason loves to stare at a man with a jabba the hutt complex in an admirable way...


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## BigBoiG (Sep 17, 2008)

JiminOR said:


> No prob. So, did you say anything to the portly hot gentleman? He probably didn't even have a clue.
> 
> There should be a secret sign or code, or something that an FFA would give to let us bigger guys know that you're in the secret club, cause if most of the guys are like me we just are oblivious when it comes to female attention.



i get flirted with sometimes, but I take it for a grain of salt. women don't generally like the big men, so I feel it safer to assume the flirting is for s**ts n giggles. Ladies if you like a big man, let dude know...he doesn't get positive attention often, I'm sure...


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## HDANGEL15 (Sep 17, 2008)

Cane said:


> As was mentioned elsewhere [by Ichida], a handy trick I've been experimenting with as of late is fondling my belly idley, as if I don't notice I'm doing it, and then watching for anyone's eyes darting. Predictably, most girls don't stare, but that's because most girls aren't FFAs. However, FFAs are drawn to to a BHM touching his own belly, and will find it *very* difficult to resist watching. If you can spot this, you know you've just witnessed a "raging FFA moment."


*
HELLLLLLLLLLLZ YES!!! 

nothing is sexier in the whole wide world then a big guy fondling HIS GUT!!!!!!!! 

and TRUE to point...a true FFA will STARE/OGLE/DROOL at the sight

um ya, I dig it :smitten:*


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## Victim (Sep 17, 2008)

I find that going down on one knee to 'tie my shoe' while making sure I have an ample amount of belly sitting on top of the thigh facing her is the ultimate FFA tease. They can NOT stop looking...


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## Cane (Sep 17, 2008)

Victim said:


> I find that going down on one knee to 'tie my shoe' while making sure I have an ample amount of belly sitting on top of the thigh facing her is the ultimate FFA tease. They can NOT stop looking...



LMFAO!!

That is SUCH a good idea. I'm totally gonna use that one.


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## HDANGEL15 (Sep 17, 2008)

Victim said:


> I find that going down on one knee to 'tie my shoe' while making sure I have an ample amount of belly sitting on top of the thigh facing her is the ultimate FFA tease. They can NOT stop looking...



* TRUE THAT :eat2:*


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## bigpulve (Sep 17, 2008)

Ichida said:


> Annoying because it stings when they dont mean it or annoying cuz you get it all the time??





olwen said:


> Yes, bigpulve, please explain.


Well manly its annoying because there isnt anything to gain.....but I see how women can have fun doing it....

Most likely its annoying to me because I usually dont get flirted with in the first place so when it happens I get a little to into it.....


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## Archangel_257 (Sep 17, 2008)

Totally wish that an FFA would just accost me whilst walking down the street. I just hate the is she/isn't she that I have to sift through while scoping for potential girls to reject me


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## Cane (Sep 17, 2008)

Archangel_257 said:


> Totally wish that an FFA would just accost me whilst walking down the street. I just hate the is she/isn't she that I have to sift through while scoping for potential girls to reject me



No matter what the type of guy/girl (fat, fat admirer, or neither), it's important to remember that the vast, vast majority of guys don't get accosted whilst walking down the street very often, if at all. Every man is going to experience rejection approaching random women, no matter what his size, the important part is that when rejection happens (and it will, always) you can brush it off and not take it personally. 

If you go around "scoping for potential girls to reject [you]," you'll wear your negative mindset on your sleeve and you'll be less attractive because of it. Try to put yourself in a more positive, confident mindset when you go around approaching women, and focus more on having a fun conversation where you can demonstrate your many attractive qualities rather than worrying about the is she/isn't shes and whether or not you'll get 'rejected.'

Many of the most thin, classically good-looking guys I know have much more trouble and much less success approaching random women than I do, and I'm 300 pounds, so it just goes to show you that with the wrong mindset ANY guy can think he's just 'scoping for potential girls to reject him.' Try seeing it as 'scoping for potential girls to worship my belly.' 

Good luck man!


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## Cane (Sep 17, 2008)

bigpulve said:


> Well manly its annoying because there isnt anything to gain.....but I see how women can have fun doing it....
> 
> Most likely its annoying to me because I usually dont get flirted with in the first place so when it happens I get a little to into it.....



Try switching the tables up man! If chicks can flirt with no intention than so can you. Try flirting with some random girls you AREN'T attracted to just to polish your skills if nothing else. Flirting is like a fun game that needn't always lead anywhere, but girls tend to see it like this a lot more than guys. If you try some casual flirting on your own, you might see where they're coming from.


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## olwen (Sep 17, 2008)

bigpulve said:


> Well manly its annoying because there isnt anything to gain.....but I see how women can have fun doing it....
> 
> Most likely its annoying to me because I usually dont get flirted with in the first place so when it happens I get a little to into it.....



What you can gain is confidence. The goal isn't always to get laid. Sometimes, the goal is to just have fun. If it seems more nerve wracking than fun it could be because you're putting too much pressure on yourself to impress or be impressed. Just relax and remind yourself that you are hot and everything else will flow from that.


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## goodthings (Sep 17, 2008)

yes, twice lately. one was my car salesman, wanted to grab his hands and suck on his fingers and then put them in my bra as i tongue kissed him deep and dirty. second was today, i wanted to grab this guy at store and take him to the back room and blow him till he came.:eat2:


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## Victim (Sep 17, 2008)

goodthings said:


> yes, twice lately. one was my car salesman, wanted to grab his hands and suck on his fingers and then put them in my bra as i tongue kissed him deep and dirty. second was today, i wanted to grab this guy at store and take him to the back room and blow him till he came.:eat2:



The moral of this story: Goodthings come to those who weight.


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## goodthings (Sep 18, 2008)

Victim said:


> The moral of this story: Goodthings come to those who weight.



heehee:wubu:


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## bigpulve (Sep 18, 2008)

Cane said:


> Try switching the tables up man! If chicks can flirt with no intention than so can you. Try flirting with some random girls you AREN'T attracted to just to polish your skills if nothing else. Flirting is like a fun game that needn't always lead anywhere, but girls tend to see it like this a lot more than guys. If you try some casual flirting on your own, you might see where they're coming from.


I never thought of that.....I guess it just never occurred to me that I could do it casually....huh.....



olwen said:


> What you can gain is confidence. The goal isn't always to get laid. Sometimes, the goal is to just have fun. If it seems more nerve wracking than fun it could be because you're putting too much pressure on yourself to impress or be impressed. Just relax and remind yourself that you are hot and everything else will flow from that.


Yeah i understand the pressure part.....I was doing that alot the last year.



But on a side note I noticed last night that I was getting my swagger back....I sent a text to a co worker and afterwards noticed that I wouldnt have had the courage to do that 2 weeks ago.....It made me happy....

so now my stress free attitude I have about almost everything else is going to come back into my relationship life....WOOT!


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## Tad (Sep 18, 2008)

olwen said:


> What you can gain is confidence. The goal isn't always to get laid. Sometimes, the goal is to just have fun. If it seems more nerve wracking than fun it could be because you're putting too much pressure on yourself to impress or be impressed. Just relax and remind yourself that you are hot and everything else will flow from that.



Just be careful....my last year of university I'd concluded more or less exactly this, that I needed to get out and meet more women and practice flirting....maybe even go on some casual dates. Stop waiting for the perfect one to come along (complete with a chorus of angels to indicate that she was the perfect one). 

The first girl I really started flirting with has been my wife for over a dozen years now.....


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## HDANGEL15 (Sep 18, 2008)

*I was at a meeting tonite, and I saw a youngish guy I haven't seen in probably 6months - 1 year and he easily put on 50#, he was absolutely AVERAGE before and downright CHUBBY now....not attracted TO HIM in the least...but that body.....................yikes*


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## olwen (Sep 18, 2008)

bigpulve said:


> I never thought of that.....I guess it just never occurred to me that I could do it casually....huh.....
> 
> Yeah i understand the pressure part.....I was doing that alot the last year.
> 
> ...



Well alright alright alright alright.  Go on witcha bad self.


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## olwen (Sep 18, 2008)

missaf said:


> I was heading out on a long car ride the other day with my mom, and we saw a very large man on a motorcycle not quite proportionate to his rotund frame. My mom said "That's a big boy!" to which I said "That's a sexy big boy riding something..." I got smacked.



Motorcycles scare me but you know, if I had something solid to grab onto while riding one I'd consider it.


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## HDANGEL15 (Sep 19, 2008)

olwen said:


> Motorcycles scare me but you know, if I had something solid to grab onto while riding one I'd consider it.



*o GIRLFRIEND....if you only knew*


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## HDANGEL15 (Nov 12, 2008)

*Yesterday I was at the gym..and I was in SPIN CLASS...and the walls are all glass...and the weight machines are right outside the room. We do class with the lights off...so we can see out, but they have to really PEER to see who is in there....

Well to get to the point..3 youngish guys were working out together and the 3rd guy was a NEW ONE I never saw before...and he was just thick as hell and raging fore arms...dunno why..but huge forearms are just extremely masculine and sexy to this FFA....he sat down to do his 3rd or so bicep exercise (after free weights) and could barely fit in the machine he is so wide...muscular as hell...really really baggy shirt, so kinda hard to tell how big he really is....defenitely strong as hell....but a sexy handsome chubby face.......

ahhhh inspiration to spin harder, faster and sweat more........*:wubu:


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## WillSpark (Nov 13, 2008)

I'd like to thank all of you ladies for this extra confidence boost. Heck, I've noticed myself being more outgoing nowadays and actually thinking like there may be some chance in my love-life yet thanks to you! How cool is that?

Now, just to be on the lookout for one of these semi-elusive RFM's.


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## Qit el-Remel (Nov 13, 2008)

HDANGEL15 said:


> *3 youngish guys were working out together and the 3rd guy was a NEW ONE I never saw before...and he was just thick as hell and raging fore arms...dunno why..but huge forearms are just extremely masculine and sexy to this FFA....he sat down to do his 3rd or so bicep exercise (after free weights) and could barely fit in the machine he is so wide...muscular as hell...really really baggy shirt, so kinda hard to tell how big he really is....defenitely strong as hell....but a sexy handsome chubby face.......*


_Holy Light_, but that was hawt...


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