# What you Doesnt Like of a BBW



## Mega-M (Jan 3, 2010)

Well , we are FA 
but Im sure that ever was a little bad thing in all the things 
¿What you doesnt like of a bbw or a ssbbw? 

this is the opposite of the thread "your favourite girls feature"


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## bigjayne66 (Jan 3, 2010)

Mega-M said:


> Well , we are FA
> but Im sure that ever was a little bad thing in all the things
> ¿What you doesnt like of a bbw or a ssbbw?
> 
> this is the opposite of the thread "your favourite girls feature"



Not sure if I am gonna like this thread,it sounds too negative,and I am trying to be positive about myself...


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## jewels_mystery (Jan 3, 2010)

I am waiting for the fireworks to begin.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 3, 2010)

Well while I doubt this thread will really take off, I don't see any reason why there can't be some open, honest discussion about the practical issues facing FA/FFA. Nobody's relationship or sex life is perfect, and seeing as that this is place for FA/FFA as much as fat people, I think an open discussion, so long as it's kept respectful might be possible.

One problem I have, as an FFA is the attitude/mindset of some fat guys. I find this to be hardest if they've been thin before but gained weight as adults, particularly if they gained weight because they were eating from depression or because they were eating unhealthfully because they were super busy at work or something like that. In those cases, the gain was unwelcome (obviously as a feeder if a guy has gained intentionally and get off on it, the attitude is never a problem because it's always positive) and oftentimes the guy is either depressed about it, in denial, or just sort of "disconnected" from his body. If he was thin before, he isn't embracing being a fat guy and may not even perceive himself that way. 

Also if he used to be thin, he may have had no experience with an FFA, so the whole concept is foreign to him.

From a physical/sexual standpoint, the simple truth is there are some positions you can't do with a fat guy. One of my favorites is lying sideways with the guy's front to my back, and clearly that won't work with a BHM. Same with sitting on the guy's lap because if a guy is fat enough, his belly will cover it and sex in that position won't work. Those things obviously don't bother me enough to drive me away from sleeping with fat guys, but they are kinda annoying.

I was really back and forth about posting this, but I think running away from certain things ultimately does us all a diservice as far as communication between FA/FFA and BBW/SSBBW/BHM/SSBHM.


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## goofy girl (Jan 3, 2010)

Back of the knee gunk. That's one thing I doesn't like of BBW.


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## Shosh (Jan 3, 2010)

Great, a thread to make women feel bad about themselves. Subscribing. Not.


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## KHayes666 (Jan 3, 2010)

What don't I like? Physically there's nothing I don't like. However some bbw's I know have attitudes that would make high school cheerleaders seem like girl scouts.

Guess that's the only thing I don't like, women that make the second B in BBW stand for Bitchy instead of Beautiful....but that really isn't just exclusive to just bbw's. Bitchy women in general is a turn off to me, nothing to do with size.

*shrugs*


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## bigjayne66 (Jan 3, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> What don't I like? Physically there's nothing I don't like. However some bbw's I know have attitudes that would make high school cheerleaders seem like girl scouts.
> 
> Guess that's the only thing I don't like, women that make the second B in BBW stand for Bitchy instead of Beautiful....but that really isn't just exclusive to just bbw's. Bitchy women in general is a turn off to me, nothing to do with size.
> 
> *shrugs*



I don't do bitchy,I suppose what would frustrate an FA would if a BBW had self esteem issues and despite his greatest efforts,failed to make her feel good about herself,or accept her body shape,its taken me a while,but starting to like myself now.


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## AuntHen (Jan 3, 2010)

We hear what people don't like every day all day about being a BBW! There is already a thread about the REALITIES of dating/being with an SSBBW! So, I really don't give a crap what you or anyone else doesn't like. Sorry to sound rude but I find this thread rude :doh:


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## CrankySpice (Jan 3, 2010)

Shosh said:


> Great, a thread to make women feel bad about themselves. Subscribing. Not.



I would disagree entirely regarding this thread. Unless you also consider the "big cock" or "tall guys" thread to be threads designed to make men feel bad about themselves, since they also cover the non-attraction of small cocks or short guys for some posters.

I think it is an interesting topic, and if people can reply with sensitivity and honesty - such as LovesBHMS has - there is no reason this can't be a valuable learning experience for both men and women. I'm guessing that, by and large, we're going to get more 'attitude' related complaints than actual physical attribute complaints.

Furthermore, why would you expect men (or women, for that matter) to love everything about every body? Can't a guy who likes BBWs NOT like the fact that some BBWs get rashes because of the fat (for example)? It doesn't attach a value to the BBW as a person (unless she chooses to allow herself to feel that way) it just means that rashes make the guy uncomfortable, either for himself or for his girl. And I'm speaking as a woman who DOES get fat-related rashes from time to time.


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## AuntHen (Jan 3, 2010)

CrankySpice said:


> I would disagree entirely regarding this thread. Unless you also consider the "big cock" or "tall guys" thread to be threads designed to make men feel bad about themselves, since they also cover the non-attraction of small cocks or short guys for some posters.
> 
> I think it is an interesting topic, and if people can reply with sensitivity and honesty - such as LovesBHMS has - there is no reason this can't be a valuable learning experience for both men and women. I'm guessing that, by and large, we're going to get more 'attitude' related complaints than actual physical attribute complaints.
> 
> Furthermore, why would you expect men (or women, for that matter) to love everything about every body? Can't a guy who likes BBWs NOT like the fact that some BBWs get rashes because of the fat (for example)? It doesn't attach a value to the BBW as a person (unless she chooses to allow herself to feel that way) it just means that rashes make the guy uncomfortable, either for himself or for his girl. And I'm speaking as a woman who DOES get fat-related rashes from time to time.



yeah but as a woman who gets rashes from rolls etc, I already dwell on it far too much and this only makes me more paranoid that some dude I am dating that loves being with a BIG woman dislikes the very thing that I am already worried about. No thanks! I am already working hard enough just to maintain what little self esteem I have at present.


**I have to add though, if the OP re-phrased the title (to be more specific) I might make more of an effort to be understanding... but as is, it allows for too much dumping here.


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## TraciJo67 (Jan 3, 2010)

NOTHING and I mean NOTHING more unsexy than a BBW who defends the entitled, misogynistic attitudes of so-called FA's. I'm never sure whether I should feel sorrow or contempt for her. So I settle for both.


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## CrankySpice (Jan 3, 2010)

TraciJo67 said:


> NOTHING and I mean NOTHING more unsexy than a BBW who defends the entitled, misogynistic attitudes of so-called FA's. I'm never sure whether I should feel sorrow or contempt for her. So I settle for both.



Well, for goodness sake, TraciJo, at least have some ovaries and address me directly. 

Stating something that makes a person uncomfortable about female bodies doesn't make that person (male or female) misogynistic. It just makes them uncomfortable about that particular issue. It's a broad brush to stroke with if you only allow people to be absolutely 100% pro-female about absolutely 100% everything female to avoid the label of misogynistic.


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## TraciJo67 (Jan 3, 2010)

CrankySpice said:


> Well, for goodness sake, TraciJo, at least have some ovaries and address me directly.
> 
> Stating something that makes a person uncomfortable about female bodies doesn't make that person (male or female) misogynistic. It just makes them uncomfortable about that particular issue. It's a broad brush to stroke with if you only allow people to be absolutely 100% pro-female about absolutely 100% everything female to avoid the label of misogynistic.



CS, I wasn't referring to you. Just want to clarify since I've gotten REP points from someone who also seemed to think that I was referring to your post.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 3, 2010)

CrankySpice said:


> Well, for goodness sake, TraciJo, at least have some ovaries and address me directly.
> 
> Stating something that makes a person uncomfortable about female bodies doesn't make that person (male or female) misogynistic. It just makes them uncomfortable about that particular issue. It's a broad brush to stroke with if you only allow people to be absolutely 100% pro-female about absolutely 100% everything female to avoid the label of misogynistic.



Yes exactly.

I really was back and forth about whether or not to post in this thread, but I ultimately decided to, because I think increased communication is always better rather than worse for this community.

If I say that certain sex positions can't be done with BHM, that is just a fact. If I point out that when a man is very large, his penis seems smaller because the fat at the base grows outward, that is also a fact. It is not misanthropic to say so, and it doesn't mean I'm not hot for BHM. But again, this board is as much for FA as it is for fat people, and those things aren't subjects i can exactly bring up in my day to day life. A lot of these things, even attitude are simply practical issues that are reasonable topics for discussion.

On a macro level, if you're gay, you face challenges like worrying about your kids being harassed in school. Talking about that doesn't make you self loathing. If you're a (straight) male who wants a traditional stay at home housewife and mother, you face the challenge of the stress of financial burden. If you like a hard charging career person, you have the challenge of them maybe not being around as much or not paying attention to you when work is busy. None of those things degrade your "type" or your choices, they're just facts.


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## AuntHen (Jan 3, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Yes exactly.
> 
> I really was back and forth about whether or not to post in this thread, but I ultimately decided to, because I think increased communication is always better rather than worse for this community.
> 
> ...




see.. now your post I think is HELPFUL. That's why I stated that if the OP changed the title it might help. But the OP also stated "this is the opposite of the thread "your favourite girls feature", and anyone who has read that thread knows that 99.9% of the "favorites" are PHYSICAL aspects.


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## mossystate (Jan 3, 2010)

CrankySpice said:


> I would disagree entirely regarding this thread. Unless you also consider the "big cock" or "tall guys" thread to be threads designed to make men feel bad about themselves, since they also cover the non-attraction of small cocks or short guys for some posters.



Well, actually, the ' big cock ' thread was started by a...man...and as a joke/jab at women on the bbw forum not being allowed to talk about their own....ummmm....preferences. As for the ' tall guys ' thread, I think that is along the lines of an fa enjoying simple preferences ( and saying so on about 300 million threads/posts out here ) , unless that tall guys thread is full of, " I think short men are gross ". Let's not mistake this for some profound discussion. The OP said this is the opposite of the what features do you like...thread. Of course, I know I should really not care, and simply start a companion thread about what we fat women dislike about fa's. We will start out with physical features...and work from there.


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## indy500tchr (Jan 3, 2010)

Mega-M said:


> Well , we are FA
> but Im sure that ever was a little bad thing in all the things
> ¿What you doesnt like of a bbw or a ssbbw?
> 
> this is the opposite of the thread "your favourite girls feature"



I really hope English isn't your first language. 

Even though I am not an FA I will answer. I am not a fan of the dark body hair that appears where it shouldn't on a woman...i.e. Me.


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## Santaclear (Jan 3, 2010)

Mega-M said:


> Well , we are FA
> but Im sure that ever was a little bad thing in all the things
> ¿What you doesnt like of a bbw or a ssbbw?
> 
> this is the opposite of the thread "your favourite girls feature"



I don't like it when BBWs or SSBBWs are lousy.


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## mossystate (Jan 3, 2010)

* scratches my head *


huh?


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## CleverBomb (Jan 3, 2010)

Santaclear said:


> I don't like it when BBWs or SSBBWs are lousy.





mossystate said:


> * scratches my head *
> 
> 
> huh?



Damnit, there's a really obvious pun to be made here but I can't do it because it will look like an insult, and I can't think of a disclaimer that won't look sarcastic.:doh:

-Rusty


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## indy500tchr (Jan 3, 2010)

Santaclear said:


> I don't like it when BBWs or SSBBWs are lousy.



I would hope that you wouldn't like anybody who is lousy. I know I'm not a fan of lousy people.


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## mossystate (Jan 3, 2010)

I think I already worked the obvious pun.


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## tonynyc (Jan 3, 2010)

mossystate said:


> Well, actually, the ' big cock ' thread was started by a...man...and as a joke/jab at women on the bbw forum not being allowed to talk about their own....ummmm....preferences. As for the ' tall guys ' thread, I think that is along the lines of an fa enjoying simple preferences ( and saying so on about 300 million threads/posts out here ) , unless that tall guys thread is full of, " I think short men are gross ". Let's not mistake this for some profound discussion. The OP said this is the opposite of the what features do you like...thread. Of course, I know I should really not care, and simply start a companion thread about what we fat women dislike about fa's. We will start out with physical features...and work from there.



*B*ored.... 

You seem to be looking for something that is not there....
For starters my thread was not a poke at any of the ladies here... so let's not start any of that bullshit here.

There also have been more than enough participation by both men and women and that thread was posted in the proper forum...


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## Santaclear (Jan 3, 2010)

indy500tchr said:


> I would hope that you wouldn't like anybody who is lousy. I know I'm not a fan of lousy people.



Some people can make "lousy" work. They "rock" lousy. It's a showbiz thing.


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## flashfeeder (Jan 3, 2010)

mossystate said:


> The OP said this is the opposite of the what features do you like...thread. Of course, I know I should really not care, and simply start a companion thread about what we fat women dislike about fa's. We will start out with physical features...and work from there.



So does that mean you have already started a companion thread to the favorite features thread where you talk about what you like about fa's? Because I would be interested to see that.


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## TraciJo67 (Jan 3, 2010)

Yeah. So, the purpose of this thread? 

What need is it filling, exactly? Is it cathartic to say that you don't like heat rashes or that it's impossible to have sex in certain positions with someone who is extremely fat? Does that lend to a sense of ...closure? Could someone possibly learn something valuable by viewing this thread?

Because, to me, it seems just ... ridiculously mean. Almost as if those who are contributing to it have their own issues that they need to pressure-vent onto the so-called objects of their ... affection.

And CS? I wouldn't make such a sweeping observation about you, based only on your contribution to this thread. You have a right to your opinion. I disagree with it, but acknowledge that it doesn't make you a ranting anti-feminist. Just .. wrong ... in my own opinion.


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## KHayes666 (Jan 3, 2010)

indy500tchr said:


> I really hope English isn't your first language.
> 
> Even though I am not an FA I will answer. I am not a fan of the dark body hair that appears where it shouldn't on a woman...i.e. Me.



Don't think English is the OP's first language. Either way I don't see why the thread was started but once Loves and CS posted, a logical discussion emerged.



bigjayne66 said:


> I don't do bitchy,I suppose what would frustrate an FA would if a BBW had self esteem issues and despite his greatest efforts,failed to make her feel good about herself,or accept her body shape,its taken me a while,but starting to like myself now.



There's a difference in being bitchy because of 20-30 years of neglect and being bitchy after being coddled and given attention for the same time period. If someone is single, been rejected far too many times and has been hurt and abused....I can understand why they feel the need to attack people, I may not agree with it but I can see where its coming from.

Now, if someone is supposedly in a "happy" marriage with children with lots of friends, good education...blah blah bladedabalahababaa.....that's when I don't see why they feel the need to spread venom around an otherwise happy venue.



flashfeeder said:


> So does that mean you have already started a companion thread to the favorite features thread where you talk about what you like about fa's? Because I would be interested to see that.



I second this.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 3, 2010)

CrankySpice said:


> I would disagree entirely regarding this thread. Unless you also consider the "big cock" or "tall guys" thread to be threads designed to make men feel bad about themselves, since they also cover the non-attraction of small cocks or short guys for some posters.



Comparable threads would be "Why do you hate small dicks" or "Why wouldn't you date a short guy". Celebrating a preference isn't the same as bashing something that isn't your preference. 

This thread asks for a list of things you don't like about fat women. It didn't say what do you like about women that are not fat. 

Actually....unless this thread sticks to the physical only, it seems to have some big potential for stereo-typing.


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## Rowan (Jan 3, 2010)

Theres no thread about what is liked about an FA? I'm surprised...I'd post on that


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## Sugar Magnolia (Jan 3, 2010)

Yeah. I'm going to go ahead and agree with TraciJo and some others not seeing the purpose of this thread. There are a number of threads already addressing many of the issues mentioned here and not so much in a negative way as this. I've had enough of men and women telling me what they doesn't like about my body to last a good while. I'm at my happy place, but some here are not and this IS ridiculously mean. Finding a thread in which the sole purpose is addressing the negatives of my body (I somehow doubt the op was thinking attitudes) on a so-called "size-acceptance site" is wrong.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 3, 2010)

mossystate said:


> The OP said this is the opposite of the what features do you like...thread. Of course, I know I should really not care, and simply start a companion thread about what we fat women dislike about fa's. We will start out with physical features...and work from there.




Us fatties are only allowed to be grateful there are men in the world that want to fuck us.....you know that talking ill of FAs is NOT ALLOWED anywhere on these boards. 

However, they are entitled, even the fat "admirers" that don't really seem to even particularly like BBW, to hate on us wherever they please. This thread is a prime example of that....


Now get back to kissing some ass like a good fatty should 

We NEED men, and apparently the thin women, that hate us. :eyeroll:


Oh and I would NEVER get fucked without the princes of Dimensions :three eyerolls:

Christ, I'm trying not to throw up in my mouth right now


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## AuntHen (Jan 3, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Us fatties are only allowed to be grateful there are men in the world that want to fuck us.....you know that talking ill of FAs is NOT ALLOWED anywhere on these boards.
> 
> However, they are entitled, even the fat "admirers" that don't really seem to even particularly like BBW, to hate on us wherever they please. This thread is a prime example of that....
> 
> ...



yeah I repped her! What of it??!!


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## LovelyLiz (Jan 3, 2010)

fat9276 said:


> yeah I repped her! What of it??!!



I did too. Just try and stop me!!! mwah ha ha


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## TraciJo67 (Jan 3, 2010)

Wow. After 5 years of posting at Dims, I've finally been busted. It's all a facade. I'm really a single, homeless (library computers are a Dog send), childless, miserable FF who is just jealous that I can't find me a good FA who will worship my body -- warts 'n all, including those pesky heat rashes or wrinkles or cankles or too much fat here/not enough there -- or hey, why couldn't I at least find one who would SETTLE? That's got to be it. I'm misery, personified. It has nothing whatsoever to do with grating at needless cruelty and the same old/same old pointless, shallow facade of hatred/misogyny masquerading as free FA speech. Nope. I'm just a miserable old crust of a shrewish hag. That's GOT to be it. There could be no other explanation.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 3, 2010)

TraciJo67 said:


> Wow. After 5 years of posting at Dims, I've finally been busted. It's all a facade. I'm really a single, homeless (library computers are a Dog send), childless, miserable FF who is just jealous that I can't find me a good FA who will worship my body -- warts 'n all, including those pesky heat rashes or wrinkles or cankles or too much fat here/not enough there -- or hey, why couldn't I at least find one who would SETTLE? That's got to be it. I'm misery, personified. It has nothing whatsoever to do with grating at needless cruelty and the same old/same old pointless, shallow facade of hatred/misogyny masquerading as free FA speech. Nope. I'm just a miserable old crust of a shrewish hag. That's GOT to be it. There could be no other explanation.



Yes....I get sooooooooooooooo fucking sick of hearing about how poisonous "non-confident" BBW are....yet why aren't we speaking of the poison that some of the men are? 
Some of those regular posters here are more hate filled than any self loathing woman I have ever met.


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## mossystate (Jan 3, 2010)

Yeah...I'ma just gonna sit over here thinking abouts all the times I have been rejected.
Gunna tell mah tales of how I have been abused.

Sure am glad that things I have to say can be easily explained. 



And...hey....we all know that heat rashes come from fat women not being confident enough.....duh.


Gaslighting................stop the gaslighting.

K?


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## indy500tchr (Jan 3, 2010)

It seems the OP likes to question and criticize bbw's and ssbbw's on the paysite board (sorry got curious on his use of English in other posts). So why not question and criticize the rest of them in another thread??


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 3, 2010)

indy500tchr said:


> It seems the OP likes to question and criticize bbw's and ssbbw's on the paysite board (sorry got curious on his use of English in other posts). So why not question and criticize the rest of them in another thread??




He is undoubtedly a perfect gem to feel free to criticize others.


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## AuntHen (Jan 3, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Yes....I get sooooooooooooooo fucking sick of hearing about how poisonous "non-confident" BBW are....yet why aren't we speaking of the poison that some of the men are?
> Some of those regular posters here are more hate filled than any self loathing woman I have ever met.




yep. and don't even get me started on all the BITCHY BBW'S!! I mean heaven forbid that BBW's are wary of approaching men. It couldn't be the approach method EVER now could it??!! :doh:


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 3, 2010)

Sugar Magnolia said:


> Yeah. I'm going to go ahead and agree with TraciJo and some others not seeing the purpose of this thread. There are a number of threads already addressing many of the issues mentioned here and not so much in a negative way as this. I've had enough of men and women telling me what they doesn't like about my body to last a good while. I'm at my happy place, but some here are not and this IS ridiculously mean. Finding a thread in which the sole purpose is addressing the negatives of my body (I somehow doubt the op was thinking attitudes) on a so-called "size-acceptance site" is wrong.



Look, I'm going to try and be polite here.

Not every thread on Dims was created by and for every single person who might read it. Maybe the 47 billion or so threads about whether Dims is about sex or size acceptance have not affected you, but they've been discussed ad nauseum.

This particular board, as evidenced by the name "Fat Sexuality" is about....wait for it...fat sexuality. It's not about size acceptance and it wasn't created to ruin your happy place about your body. Did you read my post? It's about having sex with fat guys and the challenges that brings. If you're not doing that the post didn't concern you and you don't need to chime in. Are you now, or do you in the future plan to try a sexual position with a fat guy? No? Then either stop reading now or refrain from interfering in this discussion because it might not be about your or your sex life.


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## mossystate (Jan 3, 2010)

*Gaslighting *is a form of intimidation or psychological abuse in which false 
information is presented to the victim, *making them doubt their own memory and perception. *

The classic example of gaslighting is to *change things in a person's environment *without their knowledge, and to *explain that they "must be imagining things" **when they challenge these changes.*


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## KHayes666 (Jan 3, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Yes....I get sooooooooooooooo fucking sick of hearing about how poisonous "non-confident" BBW are....yet why aren't we speaking of the poison that some of the men are?
> Some of those regular posters here are more hate filled than any self loathing woman I have ever met.



Sometimes its a combination of things that go into a situation.

Some men have been through the same hell a lot of the women have, so they too spread their venom. Doesn't make it right, but again at least you see where they are coming from. Other men are simply just assholes, nothing we can do about it. Some men find pleasure in torturing, abusing and neglecting women....but then again, the flipside is there are some women who spread nothing but hate too, which brings me to my next point.

Also, there's a difference in a "non-confident" bbw and a complete and total bitch. Someone who isn't confident wouldn't know how to handle love, attention, positive thinking and other "happy horseshit" as some people say, but when they get that love/attention it could change their minds entirely. For example, my ex had a pretty bad opinion on F/A's because she's never had the love and attention that they bring to BBW's, once her first b/f stepped in, she changed her mind about it. She's now living with her husband who's a very nice F/A from what I gather. Sometimes the right situation needs to come along in order for someone to feel comfortable with themselves. 

Which brings me to the flipside. Just like some men, some women are going to be a bitch no matter what the situation is. Happy home, good job, educated children....doesn't matter, some are still going to run around screaming men suck, fetishists are weird and yadda yadda. Those are the types that I just don't mesh with.

You know I luv ya Caroline but come on, not all F/A's are male so don't make it seem like its just men that don't like certain things about a BBW. With that said, if someone should feel the need to start "What doesnt you likes about F/A's" thread, they're more than welcome to. An eye for an eye right?


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## AuntHen (Jan 3, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Look, I'm going to try and be polite here.
> 
> Not every thread on Dims was created by and for every single person who might read it. Maybe the 47 billion or so threads about whether Dims is about sex or size acceptance have not affected you, but they've been discussed ad nauseum.
> 
> This particular board, as evidenced by the name "Fat Sexuality" is about....wait for it...fat sexuality. It's not about size acceptance and it wasn't created to ruin your happy place about your body. Did you read my post? It's about having sex with fat guys and the challenges that brings. If you're not doing that the post didn't concern you and you don't need to chime in. Are you now, or do you in the future plan to try a sexual position with a fat guy? No? Then either stop reading now or refrain from interfering in this discussion because it might not be about your or your sex life.



actually the fat sexuality board is a sub-board of the weight board is it not??... this is on the weight board not the fat sexuality board


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 3, 2010)

fat9276 said:


> actually the fat sexuality board is a sub-board of the weight board is it not??... this is on the weight board not the fat sexuality board



Wait, are you proving her point or yours? As far as I'm concerned the wb is also not about SA.


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## KHayes666 (Jan 3, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> Wait, are you proving her point or yours? As far as I'm concerned the wb is also not about SA.



Why do you feel the weight board isn't about size acceptance? Not attacking, just asking.


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 3, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> Why do you feel the weight board isn't about size acceptance? Not attacking, just asking.



The weight board is about sex, fetishes, etc. and size acceptance is a general concept focusing on acceptance of people of all sizes.. etc. They're in two totally different realms that can't even begin to be compared.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 3, 2010)

indy500tchr said:


> It seems the OP likes to question and criticize bbw's and ssbbw's on the paysite board (sorry got curious on his use of English in other posts). So why not question and criticize the rest of them in another thread??



If for no other reason, than it's against the rules. You're not allowed to cross post things that were in other threads and you're not allowed to reference posts in other threads.

This is precisely why I think the Weight Board needs either to be a protected forum or to have much stricter rules. Because _every damned time_ something gets posted that doesn't meet with the thought police's approval, it has to get ripped to shreds and everyone who tries to express their thoughts gets attacked and criticized. There is an entire forum here for SSBBW and BBW, I can not for the life of me understand why some of you insist on trolling the Weight Board just waiting for something potentially offensive to get posted just so you can start going ballistic over offenses that don't even exist. 

Not every discussion on here is going to concern everyone, is it so hard to just leave this board alone rather than using it as a launching pad for your infinite righteous indignation?


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## AuntHen (Jan 3, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> Wait, are you proving her point or yours? As far as I'm concerned the wb is also not about SA.




LoveBHMS was saying this thread is on the fat sexuality board... it is not.. it is on the weight board. My point is... yes, the weight board is about SA (in my opinion)


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## Wild Zero (Jan 3, 2010)

I don't like when I'm hitting it from behind while they're eating a cake with their hands and I donkey punch them and it knocks them out into the cake and I have to dump their unconscious ass to the floor and spend like an hour cleaning cake off the fucking bed.


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 3, 2010)

fat9276 said:


> LoveBHMS was saying this thread is on the fat sexuality board... it is not.. it is on the weight board. My point is... yes, the weight board is about SA (in my opinion)



How so?

xxxx


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## AuntHen (Jan 3, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> If for no other reason, than it's against the rules. You're not allowed to cross post things that were in other threads and you're not allowed to reference posts in other threads.
> 
> This is precisely why I think the Weight Board needs either to be a protected forum or to have much stricter rules. Because _every damned time_ something gets posted that doesn't meet with the thought police's approval, it has to get ripped to shreds and everyone who tries to express their thoughts gets attacked and criticized. There is an entire forum here for SSBBW and BBW, I can not for the life of me understand why some of you insist on trolling the Weight Board just waiting for something potentially offensive to get posted just so you can start going ballistic over offenses that don't even exist.
> 
> Not every discussion on here is going to concern everyone, is it so hard to just leave this board alone rather than using it as a launching pad for your infinite righteous indignation?




actually I think alot of people read it because of all the of the positive things the FA/FFA's say about BBW/SSBBW/BHM etc, it makes me feel great about my rolls, curves, fatness etc...but if something leaves a sour taste in ones mouth why should they not spit it out or atleast BACK??!!


So again I will say.. if the OP had titled it differently and not said the whole "Opposite of the favorite fat features" thing, it might not have come to this


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## TraciJo67 (Jan 3, 2010)

Wild Zero said:


> I don't like when I'm hitting it from behind while they're eating a cake with their hands and I donkey punch them and it knocks them out into the cake and I have to dump their unconscious ass to the floor and spend like an hour cleaning cake off the fucking bed.




HELLO??? Wait for her to regain consciousness and then make HER clean the cake off the bed. Problem solved! And geez, wasn't it just me who was suggesting nothing could be learned from this thread? My bad.


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## KHayes666 (Jan 3, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> The weight board is about sex, fetishes, etc. and size acceptance is a general concept focusing on acceptance of people of all sizes.. etc. They're in two totally different realms that can't even begin to be compared.



Do you not see how in some situations, coming out with fetishes, sex and the etc makes people more comfortable with themselves?

I thought I was weird for liking Audrey's dream scene from European Vacation when i was younger and then I find this site...GADZOOKS! Turns out I'm just one of hundreds of people that love that scene and admire weight gain. 

I also read posts from both male and female posters saying they felt weird for stuffing pillows in their clothes to look bigger when they were younger, turns out a lot of people on here did the same thing.

Some threads are obvious wank fodder, but there are logical threads that can promote size acceptance through those who read and post in it.



LoveBHMS said:


> If for no other reason, than it's against the rules. You're not allowed to cross post things that were in other threads and you're not allowed to reference posts in other threads.
> 
> This is precisely why I think the Weight Board needs either to be a protected forum or to have much stricter rules. Because _every damned time_ something gets posted that doesn't meet with the thought police's approval, it has to get ripped to shreds and everyone who tries to express their thoughts gets attacked and criticized. There is an entire forum here for SSBBW and BBW, I can not for the life of me understand why some of you insist on trolling the Weight Board just waiting for something potentially offensive to get posted just so you can start going ballistic over offenses that don't even exist.
> 
> Not every discussion on here is going to concern everyone, is it so hard to just leave this board alone rather than using it as a launching pad for your infinite righteous indignation?



To be fair, the thread shouldn't have been started. This is supposed to be about size acceptance and the poster's asking what we don't accept. 

However, then it became how men suck, nevermind the fact not all F/A's are male.

Hell, the only 2 who really came out and said what we didn't like were the two of us....and you were talking about fat MEN and I was referring to shitty attitudes rather than what someone looks like. How that equated to how awful women are being treated by men....just another example of what you pointed out, a place for the outlaws to start shit.



Wild Zero said:


> I don't like when I'm hitting it from behind while they're eating a cake with their hands and I donkey punch them and it knocks them out into the cake and I have to dump their unconscious ass to the floor and spend like an hour cleaning cake off the fucking bed.



Just visualizing you tearing the sheets off trying to clean them while shouting invectives....priceless lol



fat9276 said:


> So again I will say.. if the OP had titled it differently and not said the whole "Opposite of the favorite fat features" thing, it might not have come to this



To be fair, the OP apparently doesn't speak English as his first language...so the title of thread was going to be screwy anyway. I agree though, a different title would bring about a different response


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## AuntHen (Jan 3, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> How so?
> 
> xxxx




how is relating on a board about "all the things you like, want to do" to a fat person not about SA?


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## AuntHen (Jan 3, 2010)

To be fair, the OP apparently doesn't speak English as his first language...so the title of thread was going to be screwy anyway. I agree though, a different title would bring about a different response[/QUOTE]

touche  (I dont have the french accent for the e)


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 3, 2010)

> To be fair, the thread shouldn't have been started. This is supposed to be about size acceptance and the poster's asking what we don't accept.



We can all agree it should have been worded differently.

That having been said, if it were titled "Challenges posed by wanting to have sex with fat guy" or something like that, my response would have been the same. As I said in my first post, many types of sexuality and attraction will offer up challenges; it doesn't mean you don't follow them. 

Lots of FA of both genders and many fat people themselves have pointed out that many fat people snore. What is so wrong with saying that, given that this site is at least partially populated by people who sleep with fat people? What if somebody said "I really love hugging my partner after sex, but I have trouble falling asleep because he snores". That is not anti-men, anti-fat people, or anti-anything. It's just a general statement regarding fat sex. Same thing with my comment about FUPA. It is a general physical truth about sex with fat guys that presents a challenge.

If there were posts on the LGBT board about "coming out" challenges or even general issues about finding partners, that doesn't make them self hating gays or transgendered men/women, it just means there are certain issues surrounding their sexuality that they may want to discuss with those that share it.


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 3, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> Do you not see how in some situations, coming out with fetishes, sex and the etc makes people more comfortable with themselves?
> 
> I thought I was weird for liking Audrey's dream scene from European Vacation when i was younger and then I find this site...GADZOOKS! Turns out I'm just one of hundreds of people that love that scene and admire weight gain.
> 
> ...





fat9276 said:


> how is relating on a board about "all the things you like, want to do" to a fat person not about SA?



Making people feel more comfortable with their fetishes does not equate to SA at all. If you read the guidelines AM posted regarding the weight board, it says it's for discussion of fetishes, fantasies and fat sexuality.. discussion of sex with fat people isn't SA.


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## AuntHen (Jan 3, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> Making people feel more comfortable with their fetishes does not equate to SA at all. If you read the guidelines AM posted regarding the weight board, it says it's for discussion of fetishes, fantasies and fat sexuality.. discussion of sex with fat people isn't SA.



when they are specifically relating to people of size, I would say it is, but either way we can just agree to disagree:happy:


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 3, 2010)

Sounds good.


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## KHayes666 (Jan 3, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> Making people feel more comfortable with their fetishes does not equate to SA at all. If you read the guidelines AM posted regarding the weight board, it says it's for discussion of fetishes, fantasies and fat sexuality.. discussion of sex with fat people isn't SA.



Size acceptance is accepting someone for their size....if people read the sex threads and go "Oh, so thats how its done"....then they've just accepted certain elements of size.

Like I said, sometimes its possible


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## Brenda (Jan 3, 2010)

""I don't like when I'm hitting it from behind while they're eating a cake with their hands and I donkey punch them and it knocks them out into the cake and I have to dump their unconscious ass to the floor and spend like an hour cleaning cake off the fucking bed.""

Why not just fuck her in her car in the parking lot outside the bakery?


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## Tina (Jan 3, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> This particular board, as evidenced by the name "Fat Sexuality" is about....wait for it...fat sexuality. It's not about size acceptance and it wasn't created to ruin your happy place about your body. Did you read my post? It's about having sex with fat guys and the challenges that brings. If you're not doing that the post didn't concern you and you don't need to chime in. Are you now, or do you in the future plan to try a sexual position with a fat guy? No? Then either stop reading now or refrain from interfering in this discussion because it might not be about your or your sex life.


Just a couple of things. First, this is not the Fat Sexuality board.

Second, I think that, from what I've read of the original post (below), you're really reading into it in declaring what this thread is about. I don't find it clear at all, except that it opens the door to all kinds of posts about the negatives of fat women (note that there is nothing about fat men in the original post). The OP only made one post in this thread and hasn't stated his intent, but it seems negative in the sense that it "_is the opposite of the thread 'your favourite girls feature'_" and how the opposite of positive ("favourite girls feature") is negative. 

It's one of those things where it's easy to extrapolate what the OP meant by posting this thread depending on one's agenda or what kind of filter one is reading it through, as on the face of it, the purpose of this thread seems pretty negative. You have defined what it's about -- at least for you, but because its purpose and meaning is so ill-defined, I'd say that it's rather open to interpretation, which means that your interpretation has just as much of a chance to be right, or wrong, as anyone else's. I think there was only ever one place for a thread like this to go.


Mega-M said:


> Well , we are FA
> but Im sure that ever was a little bad thing in all the things
> ¿What you doesnt like of a bbw or a ssbbw?
> 
> this is the opposite of the thread "your favourite girls feature"


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## indy500tchr (Jan 3, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> If for no other reason, than it's against the rules. You're not allowed to cross post things that were in other threads and you're not allowed to reference posts in other threads.
> 
> This is precisely why I think the Weight Board needs either to be a protected forum or to have much stricter rules. Because _every damned time_ something gets posted that doesn't meet with the thought police's approval, it has to get ripped to shreds and everyone who tries to express their thoughts gets attacked and criticized. There is an entire forum here for SSBBW and BBW, I can not for the life of me understand why some of you insist on trolling the Weight Board just waiting for something potentially offensive to get posted just so you can start going ballistic over offenses that don't even exist.
> 
> Not every discussion on here is going to concern everyone, is it so hard to just leave this board alone rather than using it as a launching pad for your infinite righteous indignation?



I don't believe I broke any rules because I never cross posted anything and it says nothing in the Weight Board rules about referencing other posts. Just like you... I too have the right to my own thoughts and will post them when and where I feel necessary.


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## CleverBomb (Jan 4, 2010)

mossystate said:


> I think I already worked the obvious pun.


I wasn't sure you had, and refrained from 'going there' in the event that it was truly inadvertent.

-Rusty


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## katorade (Jan 4, 2010)

Tina said:


> Just a couple of things. First, this is not the Fat Sexuality board.
> 
> Second, I think that, from what I've read of the original post (below), you're really reading into it in declaring what this thread is about. I don't find it clear at all, except that it opens the door to all kinds of posts about the negatives of fat women (note that there is nothing about fat men in the original post). The OP only made one post in this thread and hasn't stated his intent, but it seems negative in the sense that it "_is the opposite of the thread 'your favourite girls feature'_" and how the opposite of positive ("favourite girls feature") is negative.
> 
> It's one of those things where it's easy to extrapolate what the OP meant by posting this thread depending on one's agenda or what kind of filter one is reading it through, as on the face of it, the purpose of this thread seems pretty negative. You have defined what it's about -- at least for you, but because its purpose and meaning is so ill-defined, I'd say that it's rather open to interpretation, which means that your interpretation has just as much of a chance to be right, or wrong, as anyone else's. I think there was only ever one place for a thread like this to go.




This exactly. I didn't get anything out of the OP that, in my mind, would have led to any kind of compelling discourse. It STILL hasn't. There was no suggestion of relating the negatives to the sexuality of FAs or whatever crap was being implied. 

Also, if this section doesn't fall under the umbrella of size acceptance, and people that take issue with that fact should stay out of here, should the people that are regulars here stay out of boards having to do with size acceptance?


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## name2come (Jan 4, 2010)

To answer the question, nothing. There is nothing I doesn't like of a BBW.

More to the issue, I have to question the point of the question and the ensuing discussions would seem to bare that skepticism out. I don't get the fixation with disliking things in this sense. The intent seems to be to define specific physical characteristics (or worse, imagined collective psychological ones) of fat women that merit scorn and shame. What value is there to that? It is what it is. That's like being a straight man and complaining about the structure of the vagina. I guess you don't have to specifically like it all, but there is nothing productive about taking the time to dislike it. There is space between liking something and disliking something. Its called not liking something. Not liking something doesn't necessitate disliking it. Having that active response of disgust is option, and frankly in cases like this profoundly useless and often cruel. If you're not turned on about something with fat women, just leave it at that. You are wasting your energy hating things that simply are what they are. If you can't do that, feel free to keep fantasizing about the perfectly not-fat fat woman learning to embrace loneliness.


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## Wild Zero (Jan 4, 2010)

I don't have no problem with you fucking me, but I have a little problem with you not fucking me.


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## Mini (Jan 4, 2010)

They're *way* better at chewing through ball gags. Damned practiced masticators!


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## Mega-M (Jan 4, 2010)

Well Im sorry if i maked feel bad someone thats not my thread finality 
and yes , english isnt my first language
but im here to change the way of this thread

1-Is NOT physically can be psychologic 
2-this is NOT for make feel women bad , the first intention of this thread is 
learn something about all 
3-of course the BHM enters too in this thread 

and yes are some women , they are very louisy but the most of them don´t know the FA/FAA/BBW/ culture 
for example
There are little things (physically and psichologyc), nobody is going to suicide her when someone saying he does not like when bbw burping


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 4, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> Sometimes its a combination of things that go into a situation.
> 
> Some men have been through the same hell a lot of the women have, so they too spread their venom. Doesn't make it right, but again at least you see where they are coming from. Other men are simply just assholes, nothing we can do about it. Some men find pleasure in torturing, abusing and neglecting women....but then again, the flipside is there are some women who spread nothing but hate too, which brings me to my next point.
> 
> ...



1.You forgot all about the men that are unhappy, whiny bitches all the time Kevin. Unhappiness is not just a fat woman thing. 

2.Just because a woman doesn't see things your way doesn't make her a bitch.

3. Men shouldn't purport to always know what a woman needs to be happy. Men like that are idiots. 

4. If I made a "What don't you like about FAs thread" it would be closed. Pure and simple. There is a stinking double standard that I am protesting. 
I'd sure as hell make that thread if a mod says it's "acceptable". If a thread knocking FAs is not acceptable, why is this one?

Matter of fact Kevin.....if you truly feel that a thread talking shit about FAs could be "valuable" then why don't you go make it on the FA board? Gee, it might be considered "okay" if a man made it.

5. Fuck this bullshit. Let's call shit what it is.....shit. 



Wild Zero said:


> I don't have no problem with you fucking me, but I have a little problem with you not fucking me.



Then perhaps someone should stick to just going and fucking themselves, eh? 



Mega-M said:


> Well Im sorry if i maked feel bad someone thats not my thread finality
> and yes , english isnt my first language
> but im here to change the way of this thread
> 
> ...



I smell bullshit. Gee, you expected rainbows and waterfalls from this negative thread? English second language or not......I think you knew exactly what you are doing. 
If you're going to be a jerk to someone, at least be an honest jerk.

Glad we all know exactly what you think of BBW, btw. Thanks for your inadvertent honesty.

Oh and burping is done by thin women and men, too. How would burping be BBW Centric? 

Since you like to pretend that you don't have a clue let me give you one...

Clue: It's not.


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## Shosh (Jan 4, 2010)

You are a bloody legend Greenie. I cannot rep you right now, but I will real soon.

Right on the money.

I will not add anything further to this fucucta thread, because I do not want to get an infraction.


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## ThatFatGirl (Jan 4, 2010)

I got her. 

I was hoping this train wreck of a thread would be closed by now.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 4, 2010)

> 4. If I made a "What don't you like about FAs thread" it would be closed. Pure and simple. There is a stinking double standard that I am protesting.
> I'd sure as hell make that thread if a mod says it's "acceptable". If a thread knocking FAs is not acceptable, why is this one?



No it wouldn't.

There have been an infinite number of posts on here about FAs. I've seen complaints about how FAs only care about fat and not about me, complaints about how FAs behave at bashes, complaints about FAs asking about gaining, complaints about FAs being too narrow as far as size and shape requirements, complaints about language they use, complaints about how they behave in bed 'always grabbing this or that body part'.

There was even a thread about whether or not you'd be with an FA in the first place. Many women said they wouldn't want an FA for this or that reason. The mods on the FA/FFA board even had to shut down discussions recently and rewrite rules to try to keep the criticism and nasty comments off the board. Nearly every post on the FA board that talks about FA specific issues such as the importance of fat to sexuality and even FA pornography comes under attack.

So honestly, I'm pretty sure you could get away with that thread you're talking about. Maybe don't call it "What you don't like about FAs" but I bet if you called it something like "What types of challenges do you face with an FA partner" or posted something about comparison between two partners, one and FA and the other not you could _easily_ get away with saying something like "The FA only wanted to grab my ass/belly/breasts" or "The FA was always complaining I wasn't confident enough" and you would get tons of responses from women who said they'd had the same problems.


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## Santaclear (Jan 4, 2010)

Mega-M said:


> and yes are some women , they are very louisy but the most of them don´t know the FA/FAA/BBW/ culture
> for example
> There are little things (physically and psichologyc), nobody is going to suicide her when someone saying he does not like when bbw burping



Maybe they're oversensitive and don't like being called lousy. How can we help them?


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## Jes (Jan 4, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> if someone should feel the need to start "What doesnt you likes about F/A's" thread, they're more than welcome to. An eye for an eye right?



I certainly hope no one starts this thread. I don't have near enough time to make the 1000 posts the topic would deserve.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 4, 2010)

Jes said:


> I certainly hope no one starts this thread. I don't have near enough time to make the 1000 posts the topic would deserve.



See what I mean?

It's perfectly acceptable to say you can post 1000 things you don't like about FAs.

But just as *this thread* could have been created and discussed in a respectful and honest manner, so could a thread like that. Just as FAs are allowed to express challenges their particular sexuality presents, why can't fat people have the same leeway? We've already said "Fat Sexuality" is about both the FA and the fat person, so why shouldn't both sides have equal opportunity to talk about their problems?


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## exile in thighville (Jan 4, 2010)

entitlement to my sexuality, identity politics, "fat acceptance" advocates who've never strayed beyond this board, adults who make unhealthy decisions themselves but hold feeders accountable as enablers, wannabe lynch mobs, double standards, people who abuse the term 'feminism' in vain, the patronizing (though admittedly catchy) term 'bbw' itself


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## Rowan (Jan 4, 2010)

Rep for Greenie....she's so smart


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## mossystate (Jan 4, 2010)

I smell some gas....lighting on this page. First laugh and shake of mah head, for this Monday morn. * chuckle *


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## KHayes666 (Jan 4, 2010)

exile in thighville said:


> entitlement to my sexuality, identity politics, *"fat acceptance" advocates who've never strayed beyond this board*, _adults who make unhealthy decisions themselves but hold feeders accountable as enablers_, _wannabe lynch mobs, double standards, people who abuse the term 'feminism' in vain,_ the patronizing (though admittedly catchy) term 'bbw' itself



The ones in bold are the ones who truly don't matter in the grand scheme of things. While you and I can dive in a pool at a bash just relaxing and conversating with friends, the ones in the bold are raging on Dimensions about something else and just being general pains in the ass. That's the one thing I'm thankful for, when I turn the computer off the U.T.O.C. are gone. Sure they have to be dealt with while the computer's on, but when I turn it off and go to work, a bash or somewhere else then I don't have to put up with them. That's why bashes are so much fun, none of the negative ppl are ever there.

The ones in underlined, that applies everywhere not just on this board or the community regardless of size. There will be raging feminists who are too pig-headed to see the other side of the fence in any sort of venue, there will be adults who smoke 3 packs of cigarettes a day and point the finger at people who eat donuts as the reason someone is unhealthy, people will always want to start a lynch mob for anything (Tiger Woods, Kanye West) and there will ALWAYS be double standards no matter where you go. While its unfortunate to see it on here, these are the types of people that won't go away when the computer is turned off because they're in our every day lives, and its not a size thing. 

The ones I didn't bold or underline...that's all on you.


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## katorade (Jan 4, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> See what I mean?
> 
> It's perfectly acceptable to say you can post 1000 things you don't like about FAs.
> 
> But just as *this thread* could have been created and discussed in a respectful and honest manner, so could a thread like that. Just as FAs are allowed to express challenges their particular sexuality presents, why can't fat people have the same leeway? We've already said "Fat Sexuality" is about both the FA and the fat person, so why shouldn't both sides have equal opportunity to talk about their problems?




I would absolutely LOVE to watch you try to make a post involving the well-being of fat women without using the words FA and fat sexuality.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 4, 2010)

katorade said:


> I would absolutely LOVE to watch you try to make a post involving the well-being of fat women without using the words FA and fat sexuality.



Why?

When did I ever claim to be on Dims for any reason other than being an FFA and a fetishist? Despite what people may think, I don't hate fat women, but my reason for being here is not to make the world a better place for fat women. I'm not a male FA and i'm not a SSBBW or BBW. I'm a fetishist and an FFA. The FFA part is right in the screen name. The FFA contingent has as much right to be here as fat women, because this forum is as much for FA as it is for fat people, and that includes female FA.

I understand you want Dims to be all about you and for every post, discussion, and thread to be an homage to fat women, but sorry, the FFA have a place here too.


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## katorade (Jan 4, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Why?
> 
> When did I ever claim to be on Dims for any reason other than being an FFA and a fetishist? Despite what people may think, I don't hate fat women, but my reason for being here is not to make the world a better place for fat women. I'm not a male FA and i'm not a SSBBW or BBW. I'm a fetishist and an FFA. The FFA part is right in the screen name. The FFA contingent has as much right to be here as fat women, because this forum is as much for FA as it is for fat people, and that includes female FA.
> 
> I understand you want Dims to be all about you and for every post, discussion, and thread to be an homage to fat women, but sorry, the FFA have a place here too.



Read what I said again and try to grasp what I'm saying. It's not about you. It's not about me. It's about the fact that not everything revolving around fat people has to be about sexuality, as much as you'd like it to be. 

Telling what you don't like about fat women does not have to be related to sexuality, even if that's what it means to YOU. Stop making it all about sex, even though that's all you're apparently here for. You bitch and moan about being policed in the boards you belong in, but throw a huge stink if someone suggests your intentions about being here are anything but pure. If all you're here for is the sexuality, then stick to it and stop flip-flopping to suit your own personal agenda.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 4, 2010)

I've already said, clearly and in plain English what my intentions are.

Have I ever participated in a discussion about Torrid coupon codes? No. Did I post in Diana's thread about the airline that mistreated her when she paid for two seats? No. Did I say I was here for anything beyond sexuality? No. It's you and the rest of the COF who want everything to be about you, and come on here and attack and ridicule every post and thread that isn't about how fat women are maligned and marginalized and should rule the world. This forum isn't just about you either. 


So there is no disconnect between why I "claim" to be here and anything I've posted.


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## katorade (Jan 4, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> I've already said, clearly and in plain English what my intentions are.
> 
> Have I ever participated in a discussion about Torrid coupon codes? No. Did I post in Diana's thread about the airline that mistreated her when she paid for two seats? No. Did I say I was here for anything beyond sexuality? No. It's you and the rest of the COF who want everything to be about you, and come on here and attack and ridicule every post and thread that isn't about how fat women are maligned and marginalized and should rule the world. This forum isn't just about you either.
> 
> ...



LOL. Either I don't post enough in the FA forum and the sexuality boards to have an opinion, according to one of the mods, or I post so much that I apparently want it to be all about meeeee. 

I'm sorry, but do you not post on the BBW board? Did you not post in the thread about BBWs outside of the SA movement on the main board and almost instantly make it about sexuality?

What I'm saying is that regardless of why you are here, or why I am here, this topic is NOT about sexuality, or even about size acceptance. All this thread does is further marginalize fat people as a commodity, and treats fat people like we're not even HERE as contributing members of this community. 

This isn't about trying to work out differences or coming to a greater understanding. It's about pointing out "here, this is what we like about you, and this is what we don't like about you. Try to stick to what we like and we'll continue to lavish all the attention on you that WE think you deserve." Dissent and actually try to stand up for yourselves as the fucking SUBJECT of this topic and you're a baaaad fatty. It doesn't matter that this kind of shit actual makes people feel bad about themselves, as long as it has to do with being able to talk about fat sex, it's okay! See, it's in the right place. It doesn't matter that this kind of thread wouldn't be allowed anywhere else without heavy scrutiny, and NOT just on this board.

I guess it's just better that we, the actual fat people, keep our noses out of threads ABOUT us and stick to threads for us, like where to find cute underwear.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 4, 2010)

Given the OP's clear lack of familiarity with English, nobody knows for sure what this thread was supposed to be about.

I make it all about sexuality? Well plenty of the COF make everything about BBW/SSBBW and how they're oh so offended by any topic that isn't about them. Do I post on the BBW board? Sometimes, but always on topic and always within the guidelines. OTOH, pretty much every thread on the Weight Board is fair game for us to be told we're misogynistic, evil, creepy, uncaring, and all round awful individuals.

You and your friends want to engage in an ongoing turf war by proving that nobody should be allowed to have a conversation that isn't about you. That is why any and every thread on the Weight Board or FA board gets highjacked by one of you, telling us how awful we are for wanting to discuss something other than "SSBBW/BBW are perfect in every way." Why do you think the mods of the FA board had to go to the trouble of rewriting the rules simply because you and your friends refused to stop attacking and harassing FA during an innocent discussion about FA adult websites?


----------



## tonynyc (Jan 4, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> The ones in bold are the ones who truly don't matter in the grand scheme of things. While you and I can dive in a pool at a bash just relaxing and conversating with friends, the ones in the bold are raging on Dimensions about something else and just being general pains in the ass. That's the one thing I'm thankful for, when I turn the computer off the U.T.O.C. are gone. *Sure they have to be dealt with while the computer's on, but when I turn it off and go to work, a bash or somewhere else then I don't have to put up with them. That's why bashes are so much fun, none of the negative ppl are ever there.*
> 
> The ones in underlined, that applies everywhere not just on this board or the community regardless of size. There will be raging feminists who are too pig-headed to see the other side of the fence in any sort of venue, there will be adults who smoke 3 packs of cigarettes a day and point the finger at people who eat donuts as the reason someone is unhealthy, people will always want to start a lynch mob for anything (Tiger Woods, Kanye West) and there will ALWAYS be double standards no matter where you go. While its unfortunate to see it on here, these are the types of people that won't go away when the computer is turned off because they're in our every day lives, and its not a size thing.
> 
> The ones I didn't bold or underline...that's all on you.



*T*hink the Temperance League may make an appearence at the Next Bash







*The gent in the middle looks like he's ready for some squashing *


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 4, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Well while I doubt this thread will really take off, I don't see any reason why there can't be some open, honest discussion about the practical issues facing FA/FFA. Nobody's relationship or sex life is perfect, and seeing as that this is place for FA/FFA as much as fat people, I think an open discussion, so long as it's kept respectful might be possible.
> 
> One problem I have, as an FFA is the attitude/mindset of some fat guys. I find this to be hardest if they've been thin before but gained weight as adults, particularly if they gained weight because they were eating from depression or because they were eating unhealthfully because they were super busy at work or something like that. In those cases, the gain was unwelcome (obviously as a feeder if a guy has gained intentionally and get off on it, the attitude is never a problem because it's always positive) and oftentimes the guy is either depressed about it, in denial, or just sort of "disconnected" from his body. If he was thin before, he isn't embracing being a fat guy and may not even perceive himself that way.
> 
> ...





LoveBHMS said:


> No it wouldn't.
> 
> There have been an infinite number of posts on here about FAs. I've seen complaints about how FAs only care about fat and not about me, complaints about how FAs behave at bashes, complaints about FAs asking about gaining, complaints about FAs being too narrow as far as size and shape requirements, complaints about language they use, complaints about how they behave in bed 'always grabbing this or that body part'.
> 
> ...



Since you feel that a thread such as this one serves some purpose other than to offend, as in it has "value", could you see the same value in a thread that criticized FA/FFAs? Not sure why you couldn't....six of one, half dozen of another if you don't consider one party better than another.

Gee, would a thread criticizing FAs make you a "better FA"? Don't you want to be a better potential partner for some fat guy? If a thread such as this makes BBW somehow "change for the better by reading what potential sex partners dislike about us", wouldn't it's polar opposite garner the same results?

That being said, I'm making the same challenge to you that I made to Kevin. If you wish to disprove what I have said......make the FA thread. 

I won't make it for two reasons:

1. I don't support this thread.....another thread in the opposite direction is the same thing......so I won't support it either. 

2. A BBW making it will have BORED BITCH screamed at her again. 


Make the thread......or do you simply enjoy bashing fat women? Seems like whenever there is a thread saying something negative about fat women, you are always in it, never missing an opportunity to malign fat women or trying to incite drama.
You claim to be here because of your sexuality, so why would you want to participate in this thread? It's not about fat men or your sexuality.
You spend a lot of time talking about and to fat women for someone that's only here for the fat guys.

P.S. Our convo is over unless it continues in the FA Thread you claim would stand.


----------



## cinnamitch (Jan 4, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> > 2.* A BBW making it will have BORED BITCH screamed at her again.
> > *
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 4, 2010)

cinnamitch said:


> Oh no that lovely designation of being a member of the COF would be tossed about while high fiving each other on their cleverness. That's how the DBA rolls



Yeah, that phrase has already been tossed into this thread.


I'm trying really really really hard not to curse anymore.........eh fuck 'em


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 4, 2010)

If you don't want to start that thread, don't start it. Kevin brought up the idea and you commented on it.

The OP himself came back and said that yes, this thread was also intended for FFA/BHM issues, so my post was totally valid as far as addressing what I thought was the original intent of it. As both CrankySpice and I said, an honest discussion about issues/challenges facing FA/FFA might be of value. The three issues I brought up had nothing to do with fat women; they were regarding fat men's attitudes, sexual positions with fat men, and the effects of fat on male pubic areas. How the HELL you managed to turn that into an attack on fat women, I have no idea. If an FFA writes about being unable to use a particular sex position with a fat guy, that is totally not about fat women in any way. If you and your pals were upset about the OP or the potential direction of this thread, a post about male FUPA should not have even been on your radar screen.

Beyond that, as I've already stated, there have been an infinite number of posts about what you all don't like about FAs, ranging from their behaviour at bashes to the language they use to whether or not you would even be with one in the first place.

And as for the concept of "value', well, if fat women and men want to discuss their issues with FA/FFA they're entitled to do that even if it had no value for us whatsoever. This board is for fat women and men as much as it's for FA of both genders, so if you want to have a discussion that isn't about us go ahead an have it.


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## TraciJo67 (Jan 4, 2010)

Yeah. 

This is what you're protecting, Conrad.

THIS. Is what you're protecting. The smugness, the arrogance, the insolence, the ignorance ... and they're not even bothering to mask what's behind it all (much, much contempt, for starters). 

Is it worth it? This is a serious question. Surely, at times, even you have to be wondering.


----------



## Jon Blaze (Jan 4, 2010)

tonynyc said:


> *T*hink the Temperance League may make an appearence at the Next Bash
> 
> 
> 
> ...



TEMPERANCE LEAGUE!


----------



## katorade (Jan 4, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Given the OP's clear lack of familiarity with English, nobody knows for sure what this thread was supposed to be about.
> 
> I make it all about sexuality? Well plenty of the COF make everything about BBW/SSBBW and how they're oh so offended by any topic that isn't about them. Do I post on the BBW board? Sometimes, but always on topic and always within the guidelines. OTOH, pretty much every thread on the Weight Board is fair game for us to be told we're misogynistic, evil, creepy, uncaring, and all round awful individuals.
> 
> You and your friends want to engage in an ongoing turf war by proving that nobody should be allowed to have a conversation that isn't about you. That is why any and every thread on the Weight Board or FA board gets highjacked by one of you, telling us how awful we are for wanting to discuss something other than "SSBBW/BBW are perfect in every way." Why do you think the mods of the FA board had to go to the trouble of rewriting the rules simply because you and your friends refused to stop attacking and harassing FA during an innocent discussion about FA adult websites?



Please. Get over it. There's no group of women that lurks around in back rooms, doling out duties to each other to see who is going to tackle what board in the name of BBWdom every day. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I don't consult with anyone before I post, nor do I post just because someone else does.

The issue is that a lot of people are tired of the poisonous idea that sexuality is just as or more important than the embodiment of a person, whether they're fat or thin, male or female. I actually feel terrible for some of the FAs here that they eventually get lumped into that shitty category of mouth-breathers that put their gonads first when they're genuinely caring individuals that can think about another person farther than their pricks can reach. As for members like you who have no qualms about making your sexuality paramount over the needs of everyone else, I have no respect for you.


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## TraciJo67 (Jan 4, 2010)

katorade said:


> I actually feel terrible for some of the FAs here that they eventually get lumped into that shitty category of mouth-breathers that put their gonads first when they're genuinely caring individuals that can think about another person farther than their pricks can reach.



Ditto.

I know that there are many people who share similar fetishes with the more vocal among us at Dims. I also know that they seldom post. Many of the fetishists assume it is because they'd get "attacked" by the COF or the "Dims Temperance League" or the "Harper Valley PTA" but in reality, many of them choose not to post because they simply do not wish to be associated with those who constantly, loudly shriek "my sexuality" and "my fetish" to the exclusion of all else, until it's just so much white noise and nothing ... NOTHING ... else gets heard.


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## KHayes666 (Jan 4, 2010)

TraciJo67 said:


> Yeah.
> 
> This is what you're protecting, Conrad.
> 
> ...



Before you call out Colonel Blake so to speak, take a step back Major Burns.

The thread was started for reasons only the OP can give us, so where it goes from there depends on the posters.

As Loves said, if people are offended by the thread....start another one. Go ahead, its only fair for FA's to be taken to task if Dan, myself and others participated in this one. In the interest of fairness so to speak


----------



## TraciJo67 (Jan 4, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> Before you call out Colonel Blake so to speak, take a step back Major Burns.
> 
> The thread was started for reasons only the OP can give us, so where it goes from there depends on the posters.
> 
> As Loves said, if people are offended by the thread....start another one. Go ahead, its only fair for FA's to be taken to task if Dan, myself and others participated in this one. In the interest of fairness so to speak



Kevin. Really. You haven't even come close to striking at the center of the issue. You aren't really even standing on the same planet. The people whom I am addressing, whether they choose to agree or not (publicly or privately) .. get it. Trust me. They do.


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## Santaclear (Jan 4, 2010)

I am displeased that "lousy" was not used in the thread title.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 4, 2010)

katorade said:


> Please. Get over it. There's no group of women that lurks around in back rooms, doling out duties to each other to see who is going to tackle what board in the name of BBWdom every day. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I don't consult with anyone before I post, nor do I post just because someone else does.
> 
> The issue is that a lot of people are tired of the poisonous idea that sexuality is just as or more important than the embodiment of a person, whether they're fat or thin, male or female. I actually feel terrible for some of the FAs here that they eventually get lumped into that shitty category of mouth-breathers that put their gonads first when they're genuinely caring individuals that can think about another person farther than their pricks can reach. As for members like you who have no qualms about making your sexuality paramount over the needs of everyone else, I have no respect for you.



Oh gee. I'll go off and cry now because a bunch of miserable, bitter, angry people on the internet don't like things I post. 

If you want to shed tears for the "good FAs" go ahead, I have enough confidence in them that they can handle themselves just fine and present themselves how they want to.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 4, 2010)

Ermmmm.....when the OP said 

"Im sure that ever was a little bad thing in all the things
¿What you doesnt like of a bbw or a ssbbw?

this is the opposite of the thread "your favourite girls feature"

It was all pretty plain to me.....his English ain't THAT bad......

However, since some are claiming to be so confused by it all, let me translate:

"Im sure that ever was a little bad thing in all the things"
means that everything has a bad side/part to it.

"¿What you doesnt like of a bbw or a ssbbw?"
means What don't you like about BBW or SSBBW?


"this is the opposite of the thread "your favourite girls feature"

means this thread is the opposite of the _Your Favorite Fat Girl Feature_ thread. Since the original thread asks you to post positive things about fat girl body parts, the opposite would be posting what you hate, or your least favorite, about fat girl body parts. 

It's not rocket science.....


Of course, later on.....when people got mad, he came back and claimed his intention was otherwise. 

Gee, is that the part that "confused" some people? It was pretty effing obvious why he did it but anyway......


Yeah.....I can certainly see why some are claiming that "the OPs meaning is not clear on the intent of this thread" :blink:


Oh

My

Gawd

The word fat is not synonymous with the word stupid......

If you just hate fat women, why not just say it forthright? Why all this bullshit?

Someone is REALLY surprised that they bash fat women.....and, lo and behold, fat women respond with anger? What is it? Some kind of belated Xmas miracle? Fat women are so stupid and self hating we don't know how to fight back? 

Where in hell some of the people on these boards get their ideas from is beyond me :doh:


Oh yeah.....admitting that you just wanted to pick a fight doesn't allow you to keep your victim status and claim that the fat women pick on you. 

What a fucking bunch of Marys


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## D_A_Bunny (Jan 4, 2010)

GEF - I HEART YOU!! :bow:


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## mossystate (Jan 4, 2010)

One thing I will say about LoveBHMS...she says exactly what is floating around her head. 

Those who _only_ call so many fat women on here...harpies...shrews...members of COF and DTL...board bitches...etc..etc...and post pictures that dismiss so many opinionated ( OH MY FLIPPING GOD!! ) women ( not so much any man who holds the same opinions...no )............well, they skirt that line, or think they do. I would rather deal with people who put it right out there. The other type is much more damaging, because they depend on slopping enough ' nice ' around, so when they dismiss the fat women who decide they will be heard...it seems almost cute...well, to some. The mindfuck ( and a flaccid one at that ) comes when you think a person is on your individual side, but you decide to not see how they are treating others who look like you, and believe like you in so many ways.

I think some become the ' poster childen ' for a particular mindset...but, this fat woman is not stupid. So, to those of you who don't think some of us see you, and you can hide behind skirts...so to speak......where are your gonads.


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## katorade (Jan 4, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> Before you call out Colonel Blake so to speak, take a step back Major Burns.
> 
> The thread was started for reasons only the OP can give us, so where it goes from there depends on the posters.
> 
> As Loves said, if people are offended by the thread....start another one. Go ahead, its only fair for FA's to be taken to task if Dan, myself and others participated in this one. In the interest of fairness so to speak



The issue is that this thread doesn't belong on here, PERIOD, regardless of whatever stupid protection it's under. Making another them vs. us thread isn't going to help shit.


----------



## AuntHen (Jan 4, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> 1.You forgot all about the men that are unhappy, whiny bitches all the time Kevin. Unhappiness is not just a fat woman thing.
> 
> 2.Just because a woman doesn't see things your way doesn't make her a bitch.
> 
> ...




were you on the debate team? you would make an excellent litigator!


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 4, 2010)

I know no one cares about my opinion but after much deliberation I've decided to call bullshit on this thread. I don't expect everything to be roses and rainbows and puppy dogs about BBW's but the way this was worded and with the comparison.. hellllll no. It wouldn't matter who it was about, imo, you just don't say certain things.

Loves brought up perfectly fine points and attempted to start a valuable discussion.. unfortunately though, I think she was reading too much into this thread and giving the OP far more credit than he deserves. If she, or anyone else, wants to start a discussion in that vein, a new thread is badly needed because no one can or should take this shit seriously.


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## mossystate (Jan 5, 2010)

I...ummmmm.....well.........yeah.

Topsy-turvy and dilly-dally...scoobiedoobiedoooooooo.


* leg feels a tug *


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## bigjayne66 (Jan 5, 2010)

I note that feelings are running very high,life is too short,stop bitching and all make friends again
I suggest that this thread should now be locked ...
Jayne


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## Wild Zero (Jan 5, 2010)

exile in thighville said:


> entitlement to my sexuality, identity politics, "fat acceptance" advocates who've never strayed beyond this board, adults who make unhealthy decisions themselves but hold feeders accountable as enablers, wannabe lynch mobs, double standards, people who abuse the term 'feminism' in vain, the patronizing (though admittedly catchy) term 'bbw' itself



THIS. EXACTLY THIS

cwatididthere


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## mergirl (Jan 5, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> Wait, are you proving her point or yours? As far as I'm concerned the wb is also not about SA.


I'm not sure the world is all that geared towards size acceptance but it shouldn't stop people being able to supply a swift kick to the balls anyone they encounter being disrespectful towards fat people.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 5, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> I know no one cares about my opinion but after much deliberation I've decided to call bullshit on this thread. I don't expect everything to be roses and rainbows and puppy dogs about BBW's but the way this was worded and with the comparison.. hellllll no. It wouldn't matter who it was about, imo, you just don't say certain things.
> 
> Loves brought up perfectly fine points and attempted to start a valuable discussion.. unfortunately though, I think she was reading too much into this thread and giving the OP far more credit than he deserves. If she, or anyone else, wants to start a discussion in that vein, a new thread is badly needed because no one can or should take this shit seriously.



I care about your opinion BB!

I guess you're right, I did maybe misinterpret what the OP meant and did think it could maybe be of some value, but where it is now, it isn't going to have any.

One thing I do want to say is that I'm really really sick and tired of any thread geared towards FA/FFA, whether that is here or in the FA Forum becoming fair game for attack simply because some people have to basically "tag" every single thread on Dims. I'm sorry but that is how it comes across. My particular post had less than nothing to do with women of any size, yet somehow I got attacked for it. Then any time we get mad about a discussion being interupted, we get attacked for being mean, hating fat people, the men get called sexist or misogynistic. Sometimes people need to realize a particular discussion just is not about them and they don't have to comment on it or get offended because people want to talk amongst themselves.


----------



## Mega-M (Jan 5, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> I know no one cares about my opinion but after much deliberation I've decided to call bullshit on this thread. I don't expect everything to be roses and rainbows and puppy dogs about BBW's but the way this was worded and with the comparison.. hellllll no. It wouldn't matter who it was about, imo, you just don't say certain things.
> 
> Loves brought up perfectly fine points and attempted to start a valuable discussion.. unfortunately though, I think she was reading too much into this thread and giving the OP far more credit than he deserves. If she, or anyone else, wants to start a discussion in that vein, a new thread is badly needed because no one can or should take this shit seriously.



Well , this is not shit 
who feel offended by this thread make this theme a shit
in my first post , but im concerned thats is a new thread necessary

closed this and very sorry if i make feel someone bad
that is not the objective of this thread


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## nykspree8 (Jan 5, 2010)

This is an interesting thread. All the usual characters are bickering back and forth. Nothing's changed in 2010 on Dims...thank god


----------



## Jes (Jan 5, 2010)

katorade said:


> Read what I said again and try to grasp what I'm saying. It's not about you. It's not about me. It's about the fact that not everything revolving around fat people has to be about sexuality, as much as you'd like it to be. .



Wow. I like to think I'm smart, but Kate, you're really, really smart.


----------



## exile in thighville (Jan 5, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> The ones in bold are the ones who truly don't matter in the grand scheme of things. While you and I can dive in a pool at a bash just relaxing and conversating with friends, the ones in the bold are raging on Dimensions about something else and just being general pains in the ass. That's the one thing I'm thankful for, when I turn the computer off the U.T.O.C. are gone. Sure they have to be dealt with while the computer's on, but when I turn it off and go to work, a bash or somewhere else then I don't have to put up with them. That's why bashes are so much fun, none of the negative ppl are ever there.
> 
> The ones in underlined, that applies everywhere not just on this board or the community regardless of size. There will be raging feminists who are too pig-headed to see the other side of the fence in any sort of venue, there will be adults who smoke 3 packs of cigarettes a day and point the finger at people who eat donuts as the reason someone is unhealthy, people will always want to start a lynch mob for anything (Tiger Woods, Kanye West) and there will ALWAYS be double standards no matter where you go. While its unfortunate to see it on here, these are the types of people that won't go away when the computer is turned off because they're in our every day lives, and its not a size thing.
> 
> The ones I didn't bold or underline...that's all on you.



see, i _am_ a raging feminist. it's just the rhetorically ghastly around here who also claim to be such are THAT BAD that i have to play devil's advocate.


----------



## Jes (Jan 5, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> What is it? Some kind of belated Xmas miracle?



I just laughed at my internets.


----------



## LoveBHMS (Jan 5, 2010)

> The word fat is not synonymous with the word stupid......
> 
> If you just hate fat women, why not just say it forthright? Why all this bullshit?
> 
> Someone is REALLY surprised that they bash fat women.....and, lo and behold, fat women respond with anger? What is it? Some kind of belated Xmas miracle? Fat women are so stupid and self hating we don't know how to fight back?



The OP never said he hated fat women. I honestly think you're reading offense where none was intended. There are downsides and challenges to pretty much every possible relationship. 

You're a parent, right? Now what if you participated in a discussion with other parents and somebody wanted to openly discuss the difficulties or less than positve aspets of parenthood. Somebody could mention financial costs, loss of free time, stress over teenagers maybe using drugs or alcohol, feeling like you've lost your identity as an individual now that you're "mom", or maybe having trouble finding dates because some men prefer women who are childless or whose children are grown and moved out. Talking about any of those things does not mean you hate parenting or hate your kids or wish you were not a parent. It simply recognizes that not all aspects of childrearing are positive.

If an FA talks about the very real fact that oftentimes BBW or BHM will either not believe we're attracted to them or even say it's "sick" or "weird" to be an FA, that is a legitimate topic of discussion for us. 

At one time, a male FA posted about a dilemma of liking SSBBW but having a very active lifestyle and wanting to go out with somebody who could go hiking or do other activities with him that a SSBBW might not be able to do. That was once again, simply pointing out a challenge faced by somebody who was attracted to SSBBW but realized the practical issues of not being able to do certain activities with one. 

A real life friend of mine is a hardcore FA and prefers women from 300-350 pounds, but he said one problem he faces is that a lot of them snore, so he winds up sleeping in the guest room. Now he'd rather have a snoring 350 pound woman than a non-snoring smaller woman, but once again, it's a practical matter he faces as an FA and it's not hateful to bring it up.

I just don't understand why the very men who take the time to join Dims, go to bashes, go in chat to meet fat women, and subscribe to paysites to look at fat porn are so often coming under attack for being anti-woman.


----------



## thatgirl08 (Jan 5, 2010)

mergirl said:


> I'm not sure the world is all that geared towards size acceptance but it shouldn't stop people being able to supply a swift kick to the balls anyone they encounter being disrespectful towards fat people.



Quote me where I said that it should and then we'll talk.



LoveBHMS said:


> I care about your opinion BB!
> 
> I guess you're right, I did maybe misinterpret what the OP meant and did think it could maybe be of some value, but where it is now, it isn't going to have any.



It's all about the wording (and thanks!)


----------



## LoveBHMS (Jan 5, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> Quote me where I said that it should and then we'll talk.
> 
> 
> 
> It's all about the wording (and thanks!)



Well even though you're all like YOUNG and stuff, you do make some interesting and insightful posts here.


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 5, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Well even though you're all like YOUNG and stuff, you do make some interesting and insightful posts here.



:wubu:
that is all.


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## name2come (Jan 5, 2010)

Okay, you know what, there may be a place and time where FA's sexuality is being denied them, but this AIN'T the thread to rally around. Making THIS the thread the champion just makes fat admirers look the most disgusting scum bags on the planet. And maybe that is the take away for some of you. But it is hardly political to suggest a fat sexuality discussion forum not play host to a fat hate party. And that's all the purpose of this thread allows. Saying no to that BS isn't size acceptance. Its the minimum amount of respect FA's should be expected to show those they are phyiscally attracted to. Because they are PEOPLE. And when you start talking about what people are disgusting and repulsive those PEOPLE will be upset. And you'd have to be a disgusting scum bag to treat people like that.

I enjoy my sexuality as a fat admirer. I revel in it and I heartily recommend the lifestyle to anyone trapped in a closet of self-loathing and hatred. I am not ashamed to be physically attracted to fat women. And frankly, I'm deeply troubled by those FAs who like to pretend this about something other than physical lust. I don't think a relationship can be forged just on my fat attraction, but I think the BS some FA's use to self-justify about how fat women are better people is insulting and disrespectful. Fat women are like everyone else. Just fat. And THAT is what I like. I have no shame for that, but I seem to feel a lot of shame over the self-defeating and dehumanizing attitude a lot of FA's take. Now, I'll grant that I think these are problems not specific to FA's but to people in general, but that doesn't stop me from wanting my fellow FA's to step up and be better. The last thing I want to see is them championing that kind of braindead behavior as some kind of inherent right of their FA-ness. NO. Its not. Being an FA isn't about treating women like inhuman sex-toys for our amusments. Its about admiring FAT.


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## cinnamitch (Jan 5, 2010)

Thank you.




name2come said:


> Okay, you know what, there may be a place and time where FA's sexuality is being denied them, but this AIN'T the thread to rally around. Making THIS the thread the champion just makes fat admirers look the most disgusting scum bags on the planet. And maybe that is the take away for some of you. But it is hardly political to suggest a fat sexuality discussion forum not play host to a fat hate party. And that's all the purpose of this thread allows. Saying no to that BS isn't size acceptance. Its the minimum amount of respect FA's should be expected to show those they are phyiscally attracted to. Because they are PEOPLE. And when you start talking about what people are disgusting and repulsive those PEOPLE will be upset. And you'd have to be a disgusting scum bag to treat people like that.
> 
> I enjoy my sexuality as a fat admirer. I revel in it and I heartily recommend the lifestyle to anyone trapped in a closet of self-loathing and hatred. I am not ashamed to be physically attracted to fat women. And frankly, I'm deeply troubled by those FAs who like to pretend this about something other than physical lust. I don't think a relationship can be forged just on my fat attraction, but I think the BS some FA's use to self-justify about how fat women are better people is insulting and disrespectful. Fat women are like everyone else. Just fat. And THAT is what I like. I have no shame for that, but I seem to feel a lot of shame over the self-defeating and dehumanizing attitude a lot of FA's take. Now, I'll grant that I think these are problems not specific to FA's but to people in general, but that doesn't stop me from wanting my fellow FA's to step up and be better. The last thing I want to see is them championing that kind of braindead behavior as some kind of inherent right of their FA-ness. NO. Its not. Being an FA isn't about treating women like inhuman sex-toys for our amusments. Its about admiring FAT.


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## mossystate (Jan 5, 2010)

lol.......telling women ( again ) whether or not they are feminists.....lol....sweet jebus, just makes this feminist amused ten ways to Sunday, and 3 and a half ways to Toooosday










* raises hand to, you know *


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## mossystate (Jan 5, 2010)

name2come said:


> Okay, you know what, there may be a place and time where FA's sexuality is being denied them, but this AIN'T the thread to rally around. Making THIS the thread the champion just makes fat admirers look the most disgusting scum bags on the planet. And maybe that is the take away for some of you. But it is hardly political to suggest a fat sexuality discussion forum not play host to a fat hate party. And that's all the purpose of this thread allows. Saying no to that BS isn't size acceptance. Its the minimum amount of respect FA's should be expected to show those they are phyiscally attracted to. Because they are PEOPLE. And when you start talking about what people are disgusting and repulsive those PEOPLE will be upset. And you'd have to be a disgusting scum bag to treat people like that.
> 
> I enjoy my sexuality as a fat admirer. I revel in it and I heartily recommend the lifestyle to anyone trapped in a closet of self-loathing and hatred. I am not ashamed to be physically attracted to fat women. And frankly, I'm deeply troubled by those FAs who like to pretend this about something other than physical lust. I don't think a relationship can be forged just on my fat attraction, but I think the BS some FA's use to self-justify about how fat women are better people is insulting and disrespectful. Fat women are like everyone else. Just fat. And THAT is what I like. I have no shame for that, but I seem to feel a lot of shame over the self-defeating and dehumanizing attitude a lot of FA's take. Now, I'll grant that I think these are problems not specific to FA's but to people in general, but that doesn't stop me from wanting my fellow FA's to step up and be better. The last thing I want to see is them championing that kind of braindead behavior as some kind of inherent right of their FA-ness. NO. Its not. Being an FA isn't about treating women like inhuman sex-toys for our amusments. Its about admiring FAT.



Mmmmmmmmhmmmmmm.


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## superodalisque (Jan 5, 2010)

i actually think this is a good question. why? because a lot of SSBBWs and BBWs are used to people giving them a hard time just because they are the size that they are. for once it would be nice to maybe have a critique of us not based on people we might feel are physically disgusted. it might be an opportunity to discuss some things that we really need to work on honestly. if there are things we are doing in general to such an extent that it can become a negative stereotype it might be nice to know what that is. you can't be a whole person and be totally adverse to criticism. i mean, how else can you grow if you don't know something about what people might really have to say about you. you might not agree but at least it will give you a broader base for understanding how other people might percieve you. what are we so afraid of? are we really that delicate that we can't hear this stuff? if we are i think we definitely need to get stronger. after all no one has said we couldn't disagree with the perceptions. it would be great if people could be open enough to actually allow people to say whatever it is they have to say. you don't have to accept it as the truth. you don't even have to read or participate in the thread. and it could be the beginning to a great dialog if we attack it with a spirit of openess. closing things down never helps anyone. 

props to the op for the courage it took to post this. it realy doesn't matter how you worded it. people need to have more sensitivity toward people who don't have english as thier 1st language. and no matter how the op meant it we should already know that we can turn this thread into anything positive we think it should be anyway-- maybe dispell a few myths or something--who knows? life doesn't always have to be a big nasty fight or an argument unless your looking for one.

re the question: what i don't like is the tendencey to remain immature and bring high school tactics and drama into life uneccessarily. i can understand where its coming from since a lot of BBWs SSBBWs were kind of on the outside looking in as tweens and teens when it came to a social life growing up and have to go through that process later. but still its hard dealing with grown-ups doing things young people do if your ready to have real adult friendships and relationships.

and oh yeah--the way we tend to take it sooo personal just because someone else disagrees with us. catfight! 

View attachment cat-fight-2.jpg


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## superodalisque (Jan 5, 2010)

addendum: physically what i don't like is a lack of cleanliness and hygene sometimes. but that often has to do with logistics and people learning to take care fo a big body. there are times when stuff is just beyond your control. its a difficult and complex task taking care of all of our real estate. . dims is great for that because there are a lot of tips that we share that are truly awesome in a world where people think we should just suffer through things just because we have the nerve to be fat.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jan 5, 2010)

Mega-M said:


> Well , we are FA
> but Im sure that ever was a little bad thing in all the things
> ¿What you doesnt like of a bbw or a ssbbw?
> 
> this is the opposite of the thread "your favourite girls feature"



In my personal interpretation of the above, I believe that the person does not speak English as their primary language and that they want to discuss the NEGATIVES of being with a BBW or SSBBW.




LoveBHMS said:


> Well while I doubt this thread will really take off, I don't see any reason why there can't be some open, honest discussion about the practical issues facing FA/FFA. Nobody's relationship or sex life is perfect, and seeing as that this is place for FA/FFA as much as fat people, I think an open discussion, so long as it's kept respectful might be possible.
> 
> One problem I have, as an FFA is the attitude/mindset of some fat guys. I find this to be hardest if they've been thin before but gained weight as adults, particularly if they gained weight because they were eating from depression or because they were eating unhealthfully because they were super busy at work or something like that. In those cases, the gain was unwelcome (obviously as a feeder if a guy has gained intentionally and get off on it, the attitude is never a problem because it's always positive) and oftentimes the guy is either depressed about it, in denial, or just sort of "disconnected" from his body. If he was thin before, he isn't embracing being a fat guy and may not even perceive himself that way.
> 
> ...



In my opinion, the poster was stating something physical. Keeping in line with the original post. Because we all want to know that being with a fat person might make the sex more difficult, but not enought to walk away. This poster is a self proclaimed fetishist, so I suppose that should be expected.



LoveBHMS said:


> Yes exactly.
> 
> I really was back and forth about whether or not to post in this thread, but I ultimately decided to, because I think increased communication is always better rather than worse for this community.
> 
> ...


I'm not really sure how discussing if your children will get harassed in school if the other children find out one or both of their parents is gay is relatable to being on a board with a community that consists of both the supposed gay parent and the child doing the name calling. Perhaps if we wanted to teach the children not to mock the child of the gay parent, we would do it responsibly, kindly and one on one. 
I also don't believe that adding lots of dialog to a topic that was started as a negative is bringing "increased communication ... to the community"



LoveBHMS said:


> Look, I'm going to try and be polite here.
> 
> Not every thread on Dims was created by and for every single person who might read it. Maybe the 47 billion or so threads about whether Dims is about sex or size acceptance have not affected you, but they've been discussed ad nauseum.
> 
> This particular board, as evidenced by the name "Fat Sexuality" is about....wait for it...fat sexuality. It's not about size acceptance and it wasn't created to ruin your happy place about your body. Did you read my post? It's about having sex with fat guys and the challenges that brings. If you're not doing that the post didn't concern you and you don't need to chime in. Are you now, or do you in the future plan to try a sexual position with a fat guy? No? Then either stop reading now or refrain from interfering in this discussion because it might not be about your or your sex life.


I did read your post and it might be about "challenges" for you, but the OP wanted to discuss the negatives. So therefore it is safe to say that a lot of the readers, myself included might concur that your challenges are negatives for you. Quite frankly something that might be unnecessarily upsetting and not informative.



LoveBHMS said:


> If for no other reason, than it's against the rules. You're not allowed to cross post things that were in other threads and you're not allowed to reference posts in other threads.
> 
> This is precisely why I think the Weight Board needs either to be a protected forum or to have much stricter rules. Because _every damned time_ something gets posted that doesn't meet with the thought police's approval, it has to get ripped to shreds and everyone who tries to express their thoughts gets attacked and criticized. There is an entire forum here for SSBBW and BBW, I can not for the life of me understand why some of you insist on trolling the Weight Board just waiting for something potentially offensive to get posted just so you can start going ballistic over offenses that don't even exist.
> 
> Not every discussion on here is going to concern everyone, is it so hard to just leave this board alone rather than using it as a launching pad for your infinite righteous indignation?


First off, your response to the poster about not cross posting is ludicrous. She stated that she looked at his other posts and surmised, in her opinion, that he has a generally negative attitude towards women. Without me doing the same thing, it would be easy for me to go into another thread where someone else did the *exact same thing* on a much larger scale and it was supported by several people. And believe it or not, this board does not belong to just one person, or one group of people. And from where I sit, there is more than one group of "thought police"



LoveBHMS said:


> We can all agree it should have been worded differently.
> 
> That having been said, if it were titled "Challenges posed by wanting to have sex with fat guy" or something like that, my response would have been the same. As I said in my first post, many types of sexuality and attraction will offer up challenges; it doesn't mean you don't follow them.
> 
> ...


Here's the thing, it wasn't posted as "challenges posed by wanting to have sex with a fat guy. It was posted as list the negatives of BBW/SSBBW. 
And it is my understanding that FUPA is an acronym for Fat Upper Pussy Area. I have yet to meet a man with a pussy, but then again, I myself have not had sex with a fat man, so perhaps it is something I am unaware of.
And once again, we are bringing gay issues into the topic. If a gay person wants to discuss their sexuality, they should be/are allowed to do it. However, I don't think it would go over so well if a gay person was on a gay positive site and stated something like "love the weener, hate the hairy balls." I just don't think that would go over so well. Considering, one comes with the other. (or is that two?)



Mega-M said:


> Well Im sorry if i maked feel bad someone thats not my thread finality
> and yes , english isnt my first language
> but im here to change the way of this thread
> 
> ...


Ahh, let us dig this hole a bit deeper. Cuz we all know that we might get a bit murderous when fattie burps. Is he allowed to say this? yes. Should we all jump on his bandwagon and sing the "let's talk about the fatties" song with him? Probably not if we want to have good communication with this community we claim to care about so much.



LoveBHMS said:


> No it wouldn't.
> 
> There have been an infinite number of posts on here about FAs. I've seen complaints about how FAs only care about fat and not about me, complaints about how FAs behave at bashes, complaints about FAs asking about gaining, complaints about FAs being too narrow as far as size and shape requirements, complaints about language they use, complaints about how they behave in bed 'always grabbing this or that body part'.
> 
> ...


Generally speaking about some of the things that were mentioned above, these are attitudes and/or actions that might be adjusted if the person wanted to change to please someone. Sorry, but my FUPA is here to stay, can't change that, nor the rashes and never the burps.



LoveBHMS said:


> See what I mean?
> 
> It's perfectly acceptable to say you can post 1000 things you don't like about FAs.
> 
> But just as *this thread* could have been created and discussed in a respectful and honest manner, so could a thread like that. Just as FAs are allowed to express challenges their particular sexuality presents, why can't fat people have the same leeway? We've already said "Fat Sexuality" is about both the FA and the fat person, so why shouldn't both sides have equal opportunity to talk about their problems?


We are not discussing challenges. The OP asked for negatives. A challenge is finding something to wear, fitting in a seat at a theatre, meeting family members that might not accept your mate, walking the entire length of the store. 



LoveBHMS said:


> Why?
> 
> When did I ever claim to be on Dims for any reason other than being an FFA and a fetishist? Despite what people may think, I don't hate fat women, but my reason for being here is not to make the world a better place for fat women. I'm not a male FA and i'm not a SSBBW or BBW. I'm a fetishist and an FFA. The FFA part is right in the screen name. The FFA contingent has as much right to be here as fat women, because this forum is as much for FA as it is for fat people, and that includes female FA.
> 
> I understand you want Dims to be all about you and for every post, discussion, and thread to be an homage to fat women, but sorry, the FFA have a place here too.


Just as equally as you state that someone else might want every post and discussion to be about them, you might want to think about some of the posts that you have made as well. It is NOT all about being a fetishist. You can be whatever you want to be, that is for sure. I absolutely stand behing that right for you and everyone else here. I suppose though that some people might want to discuss other subjects now and again.



LoveBHMS said:


> I've already said, clearly and in plain English what my intentions are.
> 
> Have I ever participated in a discussion about Torrid coupon codes? No. Did I post in Diana's thread about the airline that mistreated her when she paid for two seats? No. Did I say I was here for anything beyond sexuality? No. It's you and the rest of the COF who want everything to be about you, and come on here and attack and ridicule every post and thread that isn't about how fat women are maligned and marginalized and should rule the world. This forum isn't just about you either.
> 
> ...


I am not sure what exactly the initials COF stand for, but I think that you are placing a label on people and yet not wanting to be labelled yourself.



LoveBHMS said:


> Given the OP's clear lack of familiarity with English, nobody knows for sure what this thread was supposed to be about.
> 
> I make it all about sexuality? Well plenty of the COF make everything about BBW/SSBBW and how they're oh so offended by any topic that isn't about them. Do I post on the BBW board? Sometimes, but always on topic and always within the guidelines. OTOH, pretty much every thread on the Weight Board is fair game for us to be told we're misogynistic, evil, creepy, uncaring, and all round awful individuals.
> 
> You and your friends want to engage in an ongoing turf war by proving that nobody should be allowed to have a conversation that isn't about you. That is why any and every thread on the Weight Board or FA board gets highjacked by one of you, telling us how awful we are for wanting to discuss something other than "SSBBW/BBW are perfect in every way." Why do you think the mods of the FA board had to go to the trouble of rewriting the rules simply because you and your friends refused to stop attacking and harassing FA during an innocent discussion about FA adult websites?


I believe that his second post makes it quite clear what his intentions were for starting this thread. I am not sure why you feel so strongly that you need to defend it. Is it perhaps your opportunity to take them (the COF) to task?



LoveBHMS said:


> If you don't want to start that thread, don't start it. Kevin brought up the idea and you commented on it.
> 
> The OP himself came back and said that yes, this thread was also intended for FFA/BHM issues, so my post was totally valid as far as addressing what I thought was the original intent of it. As both CrankySpice and I said, an honest discussion about issues/challenges facing FA/FFA might be of value. The three issues I brought up had nothing to do with fat women; they were regarding fat men's attitudes, sexual positions with fat men, and the effects of fat on male pubic areas. How the HELL you managed to turn that into an attack on fat women, I have no idea. If an FFA writes about being unable to use a particular sex position with a fat guy, that is totally not about fat women in any way. If you and your pals were upset about the OP or the potential direction of this thread, a post about male FUPA should not have even been on your radar screen.
> 
> ...


I don't see why a fat woman shouldn't have a comment made about FUPA on their radar. Perhaps those same fat women want to protect fat men as well.



LoveBHMS said:


> Oh gee. I'll go off and cry now because a bunch of miserable, bitter, angry people on the internet don't like things I post.
> 
> If you want to shed tears for the "good FAs" go ahead, I have enough confidence in them that they can handle themselves just fine and present themselves how they want to.


When you keep stating that a certain set of people are miserable, bitter and angry and calling them other assorted names, is it any wonder that they read your posts with a certain "eye"?



LoveBHMS said:


> I care about your opinion BB!
> 
> I guess you're right, I did maybe misinterpret what the OP meant and did think it could maybe be of some value, but where it is now, it isn't going to have any.
> 
> One thing I do want to say is that I'm really really sick and tired of any thread geared towards FA/FFA, whether that is here or in the FA Forum becoming fair game for attack simply because some people have to basically "tag" every single thread on Dims. I'm sorry but that is how it comes across. My particular post had less than nothing to do with women of any size, yet somehow I got attacked for it. Then any time we get mad about a discussion being interupted, we get attacked for being mean, hating fat people, the men get called sexist or misogynistic. Sometimes people need to realize a particular discussion just is not about them and they don't have to comment on it or get offended because people want to talk amongst themselves.


I too am tired of there being turf wars. Perhaps if we all took the time to be respectful of others, it might change. However, we all need to realize that change begins with ourselves.



Mega-M said:


> Well , this is not shit
> who feel offended by this thread make this theme a shit
> in my first post , but im concerned thats is a new thread necessary
> 
> ...


And once again he states his purpose.



LoveBHMS said:


> The OP never said he hated fat women. I honestly think you're reading offense where none was intended. There are downsides and challenges to pretty much every possible relationship.
> 
> You're a parent, right? Now what if you participated in a discussion with other parents and somebody wanted to openly discuss the difficulties or less than positve aspets of parenthood. Somebody could mention financial costs, loss of free time, stress over teenagers maybe using drugs or alcohol, feeling like you've lost your identity as an individual now that you're "mom", or maybe having trouble finding dates because some men prefer women who are childless or whose children are grown and moved out. Talking about any of those things does not mean you hate parenting or hate your kids or wish you were not a parent. It simply recognizes that not all aspects of childrearing are positive.
> 
> ...



No he didn't state that he hates fat women, but he was willing to risk at least a few not liking him so that he could discuss the negatives of being with one.
And please, now we are going to discuss the trials of raising children. With other parents. Well as long as the kiddies aren't within earshot it won't be a problem. 
And when a fat person doesn't believe that an FA is indeed attracted to them, shouldn't that be something that you would want to discuss in a positive manner? Like, hey fellow FA's, have you ever dated someone who didn't believe you cared for them? How did you remedy that situation? I know sometimes they might not believe us, but how do we let them know we are sincere?
And bringing up topics that were in other threads, aren't we NOT supposed to do that? And how does a discussion that might have gone well in the past help this trainwreck?

I suppose that I took the time to multi-quote and respond because I myself am tired of hearing some of the same things over and over and over again. Maybe if we ALL took one step right or left of where we currently are standing, things might look a teeny bit better, or different or kinder. Is that possible? I hope so.


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## Russ2d (Jan 5, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> I care about your opinion BB!
> 
> I guess you're right, I did maybe misinterpret what the OP meant and did think it could maybe be of some value, but where it is now, it isn't going to have any.
> 
> One thing I do want to say is that I'm really really sick and tired of any thread geared towards FA/FFA, whether that is here or in the FA Forum becoming fair game for attack simply because some people have to basically "tag" every single thread on Dims. I'm sorry but that is how it comes across. My particular post had less than nothing to do with women of any size, yet somehow I got attacked for it. Then any time we get mad about a discussion being interupted, we get attacked for being mean, hating fat people, the men get called sexist or misogynistic. Sometimes people need to realize a particular discussion just is not about them and they don't have to comment on it or get offended because people want to talk amongst themselves.




Thank you LoveBHMs for supporting us men-folk

Hmmm, I just came from the 'What Don't You Like About FAs' thread posted by Mergirl but after peering through this thread I wish I hadn't read any of their posts and just got angry and said screw you to the women 'expressing' themselves- would have been balancing I'd say

I'm assuming the women and others offended here will now go to that thread and cut it down for critiquing FAs (oh let's be honest men)... I won't hold my breath


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 5, 2010)

> Here's the thing, it wasn't posted as "challenges posed by wanting to have sex with a fat guy. It was posted as list the negatives of BBW/SSBBW.
> And it is my understanding that FUPA is an acronym for Fat Upper Pussy Area. I have yet to meet a man with a pussy, but then again, I myself have not had sex with a fat man, so perhaps it is something I am unaware of.



*Sigh*

For whatever it's worth, I was taking it to mean "Fat Under Pubic Area" not "pussy". When men gain weight, they develop a fat pad around the base of the penis and it makes the penis seem smaller and adds some challenges to penetration. Sorry if that's too graphic for you.

The OP did in fact come back and say that he also meant the mental/emotional aspects of SSBBW and BBW, but clearly you're going to disregard that.

Yes, I'm a self proclaimed fetishist. If you have a problem with that, so be it. The second I post something contrary to that or that comes across as dishonest or hypocritical, feel free to call me out.

When you insist on having a lenghty post like that about the semantics of the words "negatives" versus the word "challenges" I don't see any meaningful dialogue happening.


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## mossystate (Jan 5, 2010)

So, at least originally, some people were not going to take too kindly to a thread that was meant to discuss what PHYSICAL things fa's don't like about fat women. The fa forum is FILLED with threads talking about difficulties dealing with fat women who don't ' love themselves '...who don't trust the fa's love of them...are frustrating...won't just wake up one day, living and looking like the fa wants them to live and look like...etc......etc...etc.. 

The thread started by mergirl did not call for the same thing the OP HERE called for......what physical bits dontcha like......and most of us know that is what he meant. Sooooooooooooooo...not exactly the same. Smelling like the same thing, while you look at it from 10 miles back, does not make it the same thing.


And....LoveBHMS.....I am pretty sure that using labels like COF....etc....well, not exactly screaming " I wanna have meaningful dialogue ".


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 5, 2010)

How exactly can you compare the two?

Fat is a physical thing.
Being an FA is not.

So the fact that mergirl's thread doesn't mention physical matter is not really fair since there aren't going to be any physical similarities to FAs. 

Let's say you took a practical issue for an FA and SSBBW being together like the SSBBW can't walk long distances. (I'm taking this example from the sticky thread Largenlovely started about SSBBW). Are you saying there is a difference between an FA posting "I get frustrated when I want to go to a fair and the SSBBW can't walk around for a long time" and an SSBBW saying "I get frustrated when an FA doesn't realize that when he takes me to a fair, I can't be on my feet for too long without getting tired or achey."

Even if both threads were kept only to personality issues, they're still going to be different. FAs obviously have different life experiences and challenges then fat people do, and nobody has said otherwise. That being said, I have no problems with mergirl's thread and if fat people want to discuss problems with FAs, they're more than entitled to do that.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jan 5, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> *Sigh*
> 
> For whatever it's worth, I was taking it to mean "Fat Under Pubic Area" not "pussy". When men gain weight, they develop a fat pad around the base of the penis and it makes the penis seem smaller and adds some challenges to penetration. Sorry if that's too graphic for you.
> 
> ...



That is not too graphic for me. And I am not disregarding that the OP came back and said, ok, let's add mental/emotional. The point is that there are some people who seem to jump on certain opportunities to discuss the negatives.

Well negative means that it is a bad thing. Challenge means that there is an opportunity and willingness to make it work.
I am not getting on you about stating the "challenges", moreso the need to defend the right to add so much to a thread that was started badly. Can we change a thread around if we want to, yes we can. But when it starts getting to be between this group and that, then it isn't going anywhere. 

BTW - can someone please tell me what COF actually means?

And please recognize one thing, if nothing else, I am happily married to a SELF PROCLAIMED FETISHIST. I am not taking you or anyone else to task for that.

There does however come a point when wearing the label stops being the protective amulet that some like to think it is. Being a self proclaimed anything means that we ALL still need to be respectful and honest and as positive as possible. Or why bother discussing anything. We could just mumble to ourselves and be less annoyed with each other.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jan 5, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> How exactly can you compare the two?
> 
> Fat is a physical thing.
> Being an FA is not.
> ...



These are similar, and about physical challenges that must be dealt with or the partnership won't work.
But telling the general population that a fat man's pubic area makes his weiner smaller, is a bit disrespectful to the fat man. That is my opinion.

I don't really think that saying that outloud is bringing anything positive out. If a bunch of people want to complain about certain aspects of being with a fat person, maybe they should do it where the fat people won't be insulted.

And please don't tell me to grow a thick skin. It is not about that. It is about mutual respect.

I honestly think that a large amount of people have lost their respect for each other and therefore are unable to communicate in a way in which a meaningful subject can be discussed without insulting someone. Why is this so difficult?

Maybe we need to stop with the he said, she said, they said crap and try and have a real conversation.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 5, 2010)

I'm not using the term fetishist as protection, I'm merely saying it's who i am and why i'm here. I never said otherwise. I'm tired of people attacking and criticizing it and saying "Oh well, you're just a fetishist" meaning you must be an awful, dishonest, uncaring person.

COF is a term coined by one of the male FAs who posts here, and it refers to a group of people who believe they have the absolute right to be as mean and critical as they want and believe being a vocal minority means they can break the rules here and get away with it. They're the ones who feel the need to post on every thread, in every forum, whether it pertains to them or not and to consistently claim that Dims is about them and their needs and everyone else needs to recognize their place as a second or third class citizen around here.



> These are similar, and about physical challenges that must be dealt with or the partnership won't work.
> But telling the general population that a fat man's pubic area makes his weiner smaller, is a bit disrespectful to the fat man. That is my opinion.



There are links from the main Dimensions site to articles about fat sex, as well as several mentions on the forums about a book whose name I've forgotten regarding sex with fat partners or sex between two fat partners. What is the difference between those facts being mentioned in books or articles, and an actual FFA mentioning them?


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## D_A_Bunny (Jan 5, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> i actually think this is a good question. why? because a lot of SSBBWs and BBWs are used to people giving them a hard time just because they are the size that they are. for once it would be nice to maybe have a critique of us not based on people we might feel are physically disgusted. it might be an opportunity to discuss some things that we really need to work on honestly. if there are things we are doing in general to such an extent that it can become a negative stereotype it might be nice to know what that is. you can't be a whole person and be totally adverse to criticism. i mean, how else can you grow if you don't know something about what people might really have to say about you. you might not agree but at least it will give you a broader base for understanding how other people might percieve you. what are we so afraid of? are we really that delicate that we can't hear this stuff? if we are i think we definitely need to get stronger. after all no one has said we couldn't disagree with the perceptions. it would be great if people could be open enough to actually allow people to say whatever it is they have to say. you don't have to accept it as the truth. you don't even have to read or participate in the thread. and it could be the beginning to a great dialog if we attack it with a spirit of openess. closing things down never helps anyone.
> 
> props to the op for the courage it took to post this. it realy doesn't matter how you worded it. people need to have more sensitivity toward people who don't have english as thier 1st language. and no matter how the op meant it we should already know that we can turn this thread into anything positive we think it should be anyway-- maybe dispell a few myths or something--who knows? life doesn't always have to be a big nasty fight or an argument unless your looking for one.
> 
> ...





superodalisque said:


> addendum: physically what i don't like is a lack of cleanliness and hygene sometimes. but that often has to do with logistics and people learning to take care fo a big body. there are times when stuff is just beyond your control. its a difficult and complex task taking care of all of our real estate. . dims is great for that because there are a lot of tips that we share that are truly awesome in a world where people think we should just suffer through things just because we have the nerve to be fat.



Supero - I like you and respect you and find you to be quite an intellectual. That is why I am dumbfounded by these posts.

Do you actually feel the OP had courage to throw out a general statement about "we like em big, but let's discuss the negatives"? And that indeed we should all feel that some good can come from this?

Perhaps we should start random threads about the negatives of other groups of people and see what the response might be. 

And as far as your second post, isn't the hygiene things one of the myths that you actually reference dispelling in your first post?

Do we really need our fellow fat women not only having to hear from others, but from our sisters, that we aren't clean enough? I don't think so.

Perhaps I am getting too sensitive, I don't know. Or perhaps I am tired of us having to "man up" and listen to all the things that make being with a fat woman such a challenge, or so negative.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jan 5, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> I'm not using the term fetishist as protection, I'm merely saying it's who i am and why i'm here. I never said otherwise. I'm tired of people attacking and criticizing it and saying "Oh well, you're just a fetishist" meaning you must be an awful, dishonest, uncaring person.
> 
> COF is a term coined by one of the male FAs who posts here, and it refers to a group of people who believe they have the absolute right to be as mean and critical as they want and believe being a vocal minority means they can break the rules here and get away with it. They're the ones who feel the need to post on every thread, in every forum, whether it pertains to them or not and to consistently claim that Dims is about them and their needs and everyone else needs to recognize their place as a second or third class citizen around here.
> 
> ...



About the term fetishist - I don't like the general negative connotation associated with that word, because I love one. I know that it doesn't automatically mean "awful, dishonest, uncaring person."

However, I never get to post how I feel in some threads because it becomes a situation of a certain few jumping in and "representing" the rest. Noone represents me, but me. 
Then it becomes a turf war. Sometimes if you truly believe in the mission, you need to let someone else take over the battle plans. I am not saying to anyone that they need not express their opionions. What I am saying is that if EVERYONE just took a deep breath and stepped back now and again we might have some decent conversations.

I am saying this to you and anyone else who might be reading this. Sometimes it is frustrating as hell when threads are derailed by infighting. Both sides might be making good points or one good point and the conversation never moves forward because of the actual poster is not accepted.

Maybe we need to remove all the labels, and start from a new place.


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## superodalisque (Jan 5, 2010)

D_A_Bunny said:


> Supero - I like you and respect you and find you to be quite an intellectual. That is why I am dumbfounded by these posts.
> 
> Do you actually feel the OP had courage to throw out a general statement about "we like em big, but let's discuss the negatives"? And that indeed we should all feel that some good can come from this?
> 
> ...



i think it would be very enlightening for the women here to know exactly what the truth is about how some of the guys think. it would be in black and white and here forever and they'd know exactly what they were dealing with. it would also be here to be disputed. i just wouldn't want to help people to be able to keep secrets about how thier minds really work--especially for the young ones. they need to see for themselves before they get the shock of thier lives later. 

some of us do have problems keeping things together until we learn. a lot of other BBWs notice too and comment privately so i'm sure some FAs kno anyway. its honest to say so, so that people don't feel alone anymore. i think all of this secret keeping might be making things seem worse than they really are by keeping people isolated in terms of male/female. its just my way but i've always felt that by not keeping secrets and normalizing those things re" BBWs we can save each other a lot of grief in the long run and it won't come as such a big shock to FAs who are new to things if it happens. they'll know what its all about up front--like in the realities of dating an SSBBW thread. i respect how you feel though. but , we just come from a different perspective.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 5, 2010)

D_A_Bunny said:


> About the term fetishist - I don't like the general negative connotation associated with that word, because I love one. I know that it doesn't automatically mean "awful, dishonest, uncaring person."
> 
> However, I never get to post how I feel in some threads because it becomes a situation of a certain few jumping in and "representing" the rest. Noone represents me, but me.
> Then it becomes a turf war. Sometimes if you truly believe in the mission, you need to let someone else take over the battle plans. I am not saying to anyone that they need not express their opionions. What I am saying is that if EVERYONE just took a deep breath and stepped back now and again we might have some decent conversations.
> ...



Because especially on the internet, labels matter. They indicate, to some degree, who you are and where you're coming from.

There was a discussion on the BHM board about the importance of the additional "F" in FFA. In other words, some felt that an FA is an FA and the gender didn't matter, whereas others (including myself) believed the "female" designation was meaningful because the experience of being female is different in the real world from the experience of being male, and the interaction between genders is different.

On a general level, you can argue that females are judged by a partner's income or social status and males are judged by a partner's physical appearance. Therefore you can argue that it's easier to be an FFA, because if you say you went out with somebody, the first thing you'd be asked is what he does for a living, and unconventional looks might be overlooked if a man is wealthy. I'm not saying this is always the case, but it's just an example of where labels do matter as far as translating into experience.

As far as being a fetishist, I do make a point of saying it's a big part of why I'm here because it is. I don't carry any shame over my sexuality and I don't feel as though some of us should be fair game if we discuss fetish related matters absent of the "practical" issues of being fat or the lives and comfort of fat people. It's not about being uncaring or "just wanting to rub one off and not giving a shit about somebody's comfort" but there may be a discussion that is only centered around sexual matters and that should be ok.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jan 5, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Because especially on the internet, labels matter. They indicate, to some degree, who you are and where you're coming from.
> 
> There was a discussion on the BHM board about the importance of the additional "F" in FFA. In other words, some felt that an FA is an FA and the gender didn't matter, whereas others (including myself) believed the "female" designation was meaningful because the experience of being female is different in the real world from the experience of being male, and the interaction between genders is different.
> 
> ...



First, you have a right to label yourself if that is what you choose. However, I do believe that being a fetishist is part of who you are and not who you are. 

Second, I was also saying to remove the label from other posters. Such as COF. I am not saying that you do, or are the only one, but it was mentioned and apparently it is well enough known that some folks will know who it is being referenced.

Sometimes we need to relate to each other on matters other than one. Sometimes that is how we begin to forge a relationship (even one online) that goes beyond, "oh that's the girl that likes ...".

And yes, humans do label each other, but we already know why we are here. We are either fat, or love fat, so why can't we go beyond *those* labels?

We don't all agree on everything, nor do we all disagree on everything. Why can't we all start making the posts about the post and not the poster? And again, I am saying this to anyone who happens to be reading this post.


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## katorade (Jan 5, 2010)

name2come said:


> Okay, you know what, there may be a place and time where FA's sexuality is being denied them, but this AIN'T the thread to rally around. Making THIS the thread the champion just makes fat admirers look the most disgusting scum bags on the planet. And maybe that is the take away for some of you. But it is hardly political to suggest a fat sexuality discussion forum not play host to a fat hate party. And that's all the purpose of this thread allows. Saying no to that BS isn't size acceptance. Its the minimum amount of respect FA's should be expected to show those they are phyiscally attracted to. Because they are PEOPLE. And when you start talking about what people are disgusting and repulsive those PEOPLE will be upset. And you'd have to be a disgusting scum bag to treat people like that.
> 
> I enjoy my sexuality as a fat admirer. I revel in it and I heartily recommend the lifestyle to anyone trapped in a closet of self-loathing and hatred. I am not ashamed to be physically attracted to fat women. And frankly, I'm deeply troubled by those FAs who like to pretend this about something other than physical lust. I don't think a relationship can be forged just on my fat attraction, but I think the BS some FA's use to self-justify about how fat women are better people is insulting and disrespectful. Fat women are like everyone else. Just fat. And THAT is what I like. I have no shame for that, but I seem to feel a lot of shame over the self-defeating and dehumanizing attitude a lot of FA's take. Now, I'll grant that I think these are problems not specific to FA's but to people in general, but that doesn't stop me from wanting my fellow FA's to step up and be better. The last thing I want to see is them championing that kind of braindead behavior as some kind of inherent right of their FA-ness. NO. Its not. Being an FA isn't about treating women like inhuman sex-toys for our amusments. Its about admiring FAT.



Yes, dear god thank you. I couldn't have said it any better, nor would I bother trying, because coming from a woman that would just get labeled bitter, angry spittings of a wounded cat. Thank you for realizing it's not about the relationship between FAs and fat women/men, but about respect between _human beings_. 



superodalisque said:


> i think it would be very enlightening for the women here to know exactly what the truth is about how some of the guys think. it would be in black and white and here forever and they'd know exactly what they were dealing with. it would also be here to be disputed. i just wouldn't want to help people to be able to keep secrets about how thier minds really work--especially for the young ones. they need to see for themselves before they get the shock of thier lives later.
> 
> some of us do have problems keeping things together until we learn. a lot of other BBWs notice too and comment privately so i'm sure some FAs kno anyway. its honest to say so, so that people don't feel alone anymore. i think all of this secret keeping might be making things seem worse than they really are by keeping people isolated in terms of male/female. its just my way but i've always felt that by not keeping secrets and normalizing those things re" BBWs we can save each other a lot of grief in the long run and it won't come as such a big shock to FAs who are new to things if it happens. they'll know what its all about up front--like in the realities of dating an SSBBW thread. i respect how you feel though. but , we just come from a different perspective.



Fee, that kind of dialogue already has a home in the realities of dating an SSBBW thread and threads of a like nature. The original intent of this thread is leagues away from trying to build any bridges.

Just because knowledge of information may be factual, and not necessarily hurtful to everyone that hears it, that doesn't mean it's _helpful_. How does telling a fat man that his penis looks smaller helpful? There isn't anything he can do to change it. Oh, except lose weight. But his loved one doesn't want him to do that, either. She just wants him to know that his penis looks small. Isn't he glad they had that talk? I'm sure of it! 

Telling a fat woman that there's an unpleasant smell emanating from between her folds of fat might be factual, and hey, maybe she'll start washing and powdering a little extra in an effort to please the open and honest person that told her so. Then again, maybe she'll get defensive and paranoid about it and it will become just another thing to feel self-conscious about. But hey, honesty's cleansing when you don't have to carry the burden of truth on your own shoulders.

As far as attitudes are concerned, those are a human issue and not BBW-specific, so it's a bit biased to have a thread singling them out. As far as stereotypes are concerned, those are NOT the BBW/BHM's problem but the person that carries them and shouldn't be entertained in threads like these.


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## cinnamitch (Jan 5, 2010)

To all of you defending the OP's post, i want you to think about something. Picture a woman coming to this site.She has spent years listening to the negativity of her body and the "challenges". She comes here and finds out that she isn't a freak.. Then she sees a post like this. However he meant it, it came out negative. You can bend it any way you want to but a woman who has issues with her body will only see it as negative.Not everyone is at the same level of comfort with their body. Does she just have to toughen up? If you are a true fat admirer, fat acceptor or whatever other label you choose, does this not bother you that a woman has to feel this way on here? Wouldn't you want her to have a haven in which to foster confidence and self acceptance? Not every woman wants to have her body admired so vocally and yes at times sexually on the boards. Not all of us want to hear how sexy our hanging belly or boobs turn you on. It doesn't make either of us wrong, but wouldn't a true admirer want all women to have the same haven? Or because those women aren't quite as desirous of such vocal admiration, are they less desirable and therefore easier to toss in the COF pile? Can you not see where some women come from? It isn't to deny you your fetish, but can you at least realize that not all of us like to be lumped into the receiving line for the fetish , and that just because we don't want to be we arent shrews, harpies, bitter,frigid bitches or whatever colorful term you want to use . When we do get offended by such a post, it is because we are having big problems with dealing with the fact that the men who are telling us that they value us as women, and not just fat women, turn around and defend posts like this and many other negative ones about us or even worse, tell us that we are overreacting..


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 5, 2010)

Realistically?

Because many of us have been posting here for years and have a history.

Bottom line for me is for some people I will never live down Canklegate and I have to accept that. There are some people here that will never forgive me, which I understand and will see ANYTHING i post through that lens.

On the same note, some posters have built up a reputation over time for certain behaviours and attitudes towards FAs or towards fetishists. Others have a very longstanding and obvious pattern of behaviour as far as criticizing or attacking some individuals or some posts about specific matters. There are some people here who will always be wary/nervous/critical about any post that comes from a particular screename.

It's also true that every one of us has biases and prejudices against certain labels. There are even fat women on here who don't like the term BBW and men and women who are attracted to fat people who hate the term "FA". And plenty of people have decided that "fetishists" must feel a certain way or must be a certain type of person. I continually use that term almost for the same reason that a gay or lesbian might use the term "queer" or a person of color might use the "N word". It's my way of saying "this is part of me and it's ok no matter what you think or no matter what misconceptions you have of those like me."


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## katorade (Jan 5, 2010)

D_A_Bunny said:


> First, you have a right to label yourself if that is what you choose. However, I do believe that being a fetishist is part of who you are and not who you are.
> 
> Second, I was also saying to remove the label from other posters. Such as COF. I am not saying that you do, or are the only one, but it was mentioned and apparently it is well enough known that some folks will know who it is being referenced.
> 
> ...



To be a bit more clear, COF stands for "circle of friends", referencing a group of Dims members that another member believed would all rally together and stampede through threads they believed did "wrong" by fat women at all and call all of the men misogynistic pigs.

In reality, it just seems to end up that the posters with the same beliefs agree with each other (what a novel idea, lol), and it happens on both sides, and it just ends up looking like a turf war between rival gangs because it's typically the same two groups of members at each others' throats. I mean, really, it's gotten to the point where I can read a thread title and instantly know which users are going to be participating. 

Personally speaking, I'd love to be able to say I keep it about the post and not the person, but there's a small handful of people that either make it personal, or they just say things that are so poisonous to any good being done here that it's hard to ignore it and just let it ride because it effects a lot of good, decent people that won't say anything about it, but are hurt by it anyway. I don't have anything against fetishists, and don't think they're disgusting, vile people. If I take someone to task, it's not because they're a fetishist, it's because of their words. Period.


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## exile in thighville (Jan 5, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> :wubu:
> that is all.



_some_..........


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 5, 2010)

name2come said:


> Okay, you know what, there may be a place and time where FA's sexuality is being denied them, but this AIN'T the thread to rally around. Making THIS the thread the champion just makes fat admirers look the most disgusting scum bags on the planet. And maybe that is the take away for some of you. But it is hardly political to suggest a fat sexuality discussion forum not play host to a fat hate party. And that's all the purpose of this thread allows. Saying no to that BS isn't size acceptance. Its the minimum amount of respect FA's should be expected to show those they are phyiscally attracted to. Because they are PEOPLE. And when you start talking about what people are disgusting and repulsive those PEOPLE will be upset. And you'd have to be a disgusting scum bag to treat people like that.
> 
> I enjoy my sexuality as a fat admirer. I revel in it and I heartily recommend the lifestyle to anyone trapped in a closet of self-loathing and hatred. I am not ashamed to be physically attracted to fat women. And frankly, I'm deeply troubled by those FAs who like to pretend this about something other than physical lust. I don't think a relationship can be forged just on my fat attraction, but I think the BS some FA's use to self-justify about how fat women are better people is insulting and disrespectful. Fat women are like everyone else. Just fat. And THAT is what I like. I have no shame for that, but I seem to feel a lot of shame over the self-defeating and dehumanizing attitude a lot of FA's take. Now, I'll grant that I think these are problems not specific to FA's but to people in general, but that doesn't stop me from wanting my fellow FA's to step up and be better. The last thing I want to see is them championing that kind of braindead behavior as some kind of inherent right of their FA-ness. NO. Its not. Being an FA isn't about treating women like inhuman sex-toys for our amusments. Its about admiring FAT.



Thank You  




D_A_Bunny said:


> BTW - can someone please tell me what COF actually means?



Coalition of Fatties

Coercion of Feelings

Cursing us Out Fatties

Check Out our Fatasses

Containing Our Fatness

Coitus Over Fatness

Cunts Ovulating Frequently

Not telling....let that mess die  

I've got a new anacronym though........

WBM = Whining Bunch of Marys


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## Blackjack (Jan 5, 2010)

I was going to try and summarize my responses to this train wreck of a thread, but instead I'll just skip to the end where I post this pic, which is very likely far more constructive overall than most of what could come of this self-fellating, windmill-charging clusterfuck.


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## tonynyc (Jan 5, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Thank You
> 
> 
> 
> ...



*You forgot...*

* C- of Fury *

(with the option of inserting your favorite *"C" *word here)....


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## superodalisque (Jan 5, 2010)

i can fully understand why people wouldn't like this here or why they feel it could be harmful to new people. but i still feel that its much better to have the truth from the beginning so as not to make mistakes. i'm really lucky that i'm a stand back kind of a person because if i had really jumped in based on a lot of the idealized niceties i saw when i first got here i would have gotten into some real emotional trouble. i just don't want people to get the wrong idea about what they are dealing with here. sometimes it seems to me that a lot of angst people have gone through could have been avoided if somene had just had an open and honest discussion from the beginning. 

i still find it odd how people feel its "honest" to personally attack and ridicule people here ( i don't quite think thats whats happening now--i need to make that clear) but its such a taboo to talk about the central root of what we truly think and believe when it comes to an issue itself. maybe its easier to attack or silence each other sometimes than it is to talk about some hard truths. i notice there is a lot more of that when issues get close to the bone here. i'm not sure people want to face the fact that FAs could find them unattractive for various reasons. they might be happier believing its all sunshine and light--or at least making it into that however falsely or even accidentally. all that does is keep the FA myth alive. not every one is going to admire every BBW for whatever reason. but i'm not sure the equivalent of putting our fingers in our ears and going "la la la" is going to help anybody very much--especially on this forum. 

the hard truth is that some people will totally objectify a BBW. the opinions of FAs are not any magic answer to a BBWs self esteem issues. she needs to know that so that she can turn the energy of her acceptance where it should be--inward. she needs to understand that not every FA is that comfortable with her just because she is fat and why. she needs to know if the reasons are valid or foolish to her. i think that its easy to take for granted when you understand, have been around and have lots of experience. but i think a lot of people could use the evidence to make educated decisions for themselves and not waste their time on something they might not want or procrastinate over what they do want. 

the main way that some of these guys wriggle free of their responsibility for thier approach to unexposed women is by pretending that more experienced ones who warn them are just jealous old manhaters. quietening people worries me since then they can characterize someone with real concerns as crazy when you don't give them a chance to let real the crazy show for what it is. its harder to pretend your innocent if you are hanging out there on thier own words with the addition of people who can draw the contrast between that and something healthier.


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## exile in thighville (Jan 5, 2010)

i mean this is a really stupid thread i was just sort of whatever


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## cinnamitch (Jan 5, 2010)

I always thought you were taller



Blackjack said:


> I was going to try and summarize my responses to this train wreck of a thread, but instead I'll just skip to the end where I post this pic, which is very likely far more constructive overall than most of what could come of this self-fellating, windmill-charging clusterfuck.


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## katorade (Jan 5, 2010)

Fee, I think a lot of resentment was seemingly so instant not just because of the perceived intent of the thread, but because of the location. Not being able to defend yourself or comment on what could be hurtful statements because of an imaginary boundary is pretty insulting. What you're talking about is a thread more suited for the main board where both sides could have a fair and honest say.


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## superodalisque (Jan 5, 2010)

katorade said:


> Fee, I think a lot of resentment was seemingly so instant not just because of the perceived intent of the thread, but because of the location. Not being able to defend yourself or comment on what could be hurtful statements because of an imaginary boundary is pretty insulting. What you're talking about is a thread more suited for the main board where both sides could have a fair and honest say.



yes, thats one of the drawbacks of having the seperate forums. that might make people want to reconsider. there seems to be a lot more rules about what people can say and they can be inhibiting.

i think the BBWs here are often a whole lot smarter than they might be given the credit for. most are really diserning and can recognize the truth for them when they see it.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 5, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> yes, thats one of the drawbacks of having the seperate forums that might make people want to reconsider. there seems to be a lot more rules about what people can say and they can be inhibiting.



Inhibiting?

For one thing, the Weight Board isn't protected, only the Erotic Weight Gain part is, so anyone can post on here and anyone can be as mean, nasty, and critical as they want. The only things that get moderated out are when posts push the envelope as far as saying "everyone hates you". That isn't defending yourself, it's launching personal attacks and you're just being resentful that it hasn't been allowed.

There is a big difference between demanding a "discussion" or dialogue and being resentful that every forum on Dims is not a free for all for those who think Dims belongs only to them and should cater only to their experience and point of view. Kind of along the lines of 'free speech for me but not for thee."

A discussion geared towards FAs is always going to be fair game for anyone to come in and judge our thought process or attitudes or feelings.


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## superodalisque (Jan 5, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Inhibiting?
> 
> For one thing, the Weight Board isn't protected, only the Erotic Weight Gain part is, so anyone can post on here and anyone can be as mean, nasty, and critical as they want. The only things that get moderated out are when posts push the envelope as far as saying "everyone hates you". That isn't defending yourself, it's launching personal attacks and you're just being resentful that it hasn't been allowed.
> 
> ...



i was using the term inhibiting because its evident Kato and some other folks might feel that was an issue. in my opinion i feel that anything can be discussed in a civil way so i don't feel personally inhibited. i can usually post anywhere without having to think about it because i seriously doubt i'll violate any of the rules anyway. i don't need to. i hardly ever even know which forum i'm in and i don't really mind as long as the subject interests me for some reason. forum politics don't interest me at all. i don;t care who the mods are and what the policies are. but for a lot of people here it is important and i recogize that. i've said everything i wanted to say exactly how i wanted to say it so i'm satisfied.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 5, 2010)

Well a quick read of the forum's rules shows that anyone can post here.

Considering the nastiness that's been tossed around both on this thread and others, I can tell you that nobody is "inhibited" about posting and insulting the posters and topics as much as they want.


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## katorade (Jan 5, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> i was using the term inhibiting because its evident Kato and some other folks might feel that was an issue. in my opinion i feel that anything can be discussed in a civil way so i don't feel personally inhibited. i can usually post anywhere without having to think about it because i seriously doubt i'll violate any of the rules anyway. i don't need to. i hardly ever even know which forum i'm in and i don't really mind as long as the subject interests me for some reason. forum politics don't interest me at all. i don;t care who the mods are and what the policies are. but for a lot of people here it is important and i recogize that. i've said everything i wanted to say exactly how i wanted to say it so i'm satisfied.



I'm pretty much the same way. I typically search threads through the new posts button and just click on whatever sounds interesting. It isn't until engaging in a thread that the "you can't do that here, it's protected" and "I can say that here, this is the forum for it" speeches get bandied about.

I simply refuse to apologize for the fact that I think the well-being of people is tantamount to their sexuality, no matter what forum I'm discussing an issue in.

Also, something something stones, something something glass houses.


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## superodalisque (Jan 5, 2010)

katorade said:


> I'm pretty much the same way. I typically search threads through the new posts button and just click on whatever sounds interesting. It isn't until engaging in a thread that the "you can't do that here, it's protected" and "I can say that here, this is the forum for it" speeches get bandied about.
> 
> I simply refuse to apologize for the fact that I think the well-being of people is tantamount to their sexuality, no matter what forum I'm discussing an issue in.
> 
> Also, something something stones, something something glass houses.



you should never feel sorry for your opinions. yours are just as valid as anyone else's. you have your reasons for why you think the things you do and they are valuable. thanks for sharing them. 

hehe stuff is always shattering at my house. i can't help it. my position is always shifting.


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## TraciJo67 (Jan 5, 2010)

Female hygiene issues? SuperO, are you kidding???!?!? Please tell me ... please ... how a frank, honest discussion of this issue benefits anyone. ANYONE. Yes, it's a fact: Some people (fat or not) have hygiene challenges. It's difficult enough to address this issue sensitively between two lovers. On a message board? On a site that purports to be about, at least in part, size and fat acceptance? It's not that I fear a frank discussion of the issue -- I just fail to see any value in it, whatsoever, aside from the stereotype itself being extremely offensive and just plain effin' WRONG when the focus is on things that FA's don't like about BBW's. I cannot see any good coming from such a discussion. I am serious -- I'd really like to know what you're thinking here. Not all opportunities to learn something new is, by nature of the experience, a good thing. Also, the common sense factor: I've never had sex with a very fat man, and likely never will, but I could figure out (without a roadmap, even!), that some positions would be difficult or impossible. Who does this knowledge benefit? The fat man? The FFA? Potential FFA's?!?! I'm not being sarcastic (maybe just a bit caustic). I am, sincerely, astonished that this is even up for debate. 

Let's put to rest another issue: That the so-called "COF" is accusing every man of misogyny, or every woman of being a misandrist. That should be obvious without even being stated. When the same people, time after time, thread after thread, use certain issues as a platform to showcase their shallowly masked feelings of contempt or disgust for fat men or women (love the fat, worship the fat, objectify the fuck out of the fat with little or no regard for the person contained within the fat body) then calling them ... on THEIR behavior ... is not a condemnation of every other man or woman who participates at Dims. It would be beneficial if we could actually NAME NAMES so that nobody else felt splattered by the backwash ... but the simple truth is, if I did so, I'd be banned. No matter how clearly obvious it is, to me (as well as the zillion people who repped me and/or responded in kind within the thread) that their words are in fact a great big sludge pile of animosity. 

Finally, let's just get real. We ALL know who the shit-stirrers are, with notable exception of some of those who stir with the most enthusiasm. They'd rather call themselves victims. Mary's. Yeah. I like that phrase. Most of us have been guilty of shoving a spoon into that bubbling pot a time or two (dozen) but some could be PhD's in the field of internet bullying. All while loudly proclaiming that EVERYONE ELSE is bullying them. By now, that should be more than obvious to ... just about everyone.


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## nykspree8 (Jan 5, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> addendum: physically what i don't like is a lack of cleanliness and hygene sometimes. but that often has to do with logistics and people learning to take care fo a big body. there are times when stuff is just beyond your control. its a difficult and complex task taking care of all of our real estate. . dims is great for that because there are a lot of tips that we share that are truly awesome in a world where people think we should just suffer through things just because we have the nerve to be fat.



I don't see anything wrong with what she posted.


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## Fascinita (Jan 6, 2010)

It has to be said, for those who commented that "FAs can't be lumped into a group" that a similar critique might be offered about the idea of lumping "BBW" into a homogenous category.

If some BBW are bitchy, as Kevin pointed out, it's true that "bitchy" can't be applied to BBW alone (or to women alone, for that matter.)

If some BBW burp, the notion that "burping" constitutes some kind of action that defines BBW, somehow, is ridiculous. As far as I know, all people burp. (I'm reminded here of something I used to hear a lot... something about "people who act like their fecal matter don't stink." How quickly some forget that _everybody_ has a body, capable of being as "gross" as the next person's body.)

And if some BBW "lack hygiene," as has been suggested, I'm simply dumbfounded at the suggestion that somehow this applies to BBW more than to other people.

It's problematic in the extreme that we *"know better"* _immediately_ when the idea is suggested that FAs belong in a category about which sweeping generalizations such as those above should be asserted BUT somehow the idea that it's equally as patently irrational and counterproductive to apply those generalizations to BBW is met with hostility and a defense of an indefensible OP.

The quality of being acceptably human is not reserved for one group of people over another. If you want to hang out with a fat person, you have to take his/her flaws with the package--until you stop wanting to hang out with the particular fatty who has failed to live up to your "higher" standards. While talking about personal experiences is perfectly kosher when framed as such, there's no reason anyone should tolerate one individual's personal preferences for hygiene (just for instance) as "the gold standard" by which an entire group of people needs be judged. Who died and made any person the arbiter of "my shit smells better than yours"? This thread, with its casually callous manner of throwing underserved, illogical insults at BBW, deserves all of the criticism it's received--and then some.


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## Scorsese86 (Jan 6, 2010)

Mega-M said:


> Well , we are FA
> but Im sure that ever was a little bad thing in all the things
> ¿What you doesnt like of a bbw or a ssbbw?
> 
> this is the opposite of the thread "your favourite girls feature"



I don't like this question.


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## mergirl (Jan 6, 2010)

Russ2d said:


> Thank you LoveBHMs for supporting us men-folk
> 
> Hmmm, I just came from the 'What Don't You Like About FAs' thread posted by Mergirl but after peering through this thread I wish I hadn't read any of their posts and just got angry and said screw you to the women 'expressing' themselves- would have been balancing I'd say
> 
> I'm assuming the women and others offended here will now go to that thread and cut it down for critiquing FAs (oh let's be honest men)... I won't hold my breath


Do you mean angry in a smash the mirror kind of way? 
I thought that sharing bad experiences of fas would be informative for fas actually. Might stop 'us' acting in the way that people dislike. Yes, 'us', because i am seen as an fa too. (Don't like the term so stopped using it to describe myself..blah)


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 6, 2010)

Yes it could have been informative.

It also could have been valuable amongst FAs without being valuable for BBW, but it's clear that no discussion should take place on Dims that might possibly be only for one group and not another.

I read your "What you don't like about FA" thread and as far as I'm concerned, you have every right to discuss experience with FAs, no matter how negative they are because they are real and they are relevant to you. If FAs have done certain things to you or exhibited certain behaviour, then of course Dims is the place to discuss it. 

And honestly, if an FA gets mad or offended or worries that "Gosh what happens if a newbie FA stumbles upon this place thinking he's found like minded individuals, how will he feel when he sees descriptions of those like him as closeted, having poor social skills, being rude, touching people in public where they shouldn't, and being perverted" well that's just how it is.


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## katorade (Jan 6, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Yes it could have been informative.
> 
> It also could have been valuable amongst FAs without being valuable for BBW, but it's clear that no discussion should take place on Dims that might possibly be only for one group and not another.
> 
> ...



Sorry, but a thread ABOUT fat women is very, very real and relevant to fat women. Saying that a thread about fat women is not one we have a right to discuss ourselves in is not only rude, it's ridiculous.


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## Russ2d (Jan 6, 2010)

mergirl said:


> Do you mean angry in a smash the mirror kind of way?
> I thought that sharing bad experiences of fas would be informative for fas actually. Might stop 'us' acting in the way that people dislike. Yes, 'us', because i am seen as an fa too. (Don't like the term so stopped using it to describe myself..blah)



I will be brief- 

We have two threads, one is 

What you don't like about BBWs (I will correct the English) 
and the other is
What you don't like about FAs

I wonder which one was, and still is, acceptable and which one is not...

To the point, we have a weeee bit of a double standard at play here so let's not play make believe that we don't... and this annoys me, simple

I personally do not care much for either thread because I knew what would happen, and it did; not so much 'informative' but rather a few reasonable posts mixed in with a lot of the usual and so tired reactionary & accusatory rants.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 6, 2010)

katorade said:


> Sorry, but a thread ABOUT fat women is very, very real and relevant to fat women. Saying that a thread about fat women is not one we have a right to discuss ourselves in is not only rude, it's ridiculous.



And, once again, a thread talking about what BBW don't like about FAs on the BBW Board WOULD NOT BE ALLOWED. 

So.....fuck it. Cry me a GD river FAs......


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## Russ2d (Jan 6, 2010)

Shosh said:


> Great, a thread to make women feel bad about themselves. Subscribing. Not.



Indeed, honestly that's I how I felt about the FA thread too and I sympathize with you... 'gee great another FA/man bashing session' was my initial thought

I did post there anyway however being the near eternal optimist I am


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## Russ2d (Jan 6, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Well a quick read of the forum's rules shows that anyone can post here.
> 
> Considering the nastiness that's been tossed around both on this thread and others, I can tell you that nobody is "inhibited" about posting and insulting the posters and topics as much as they want.




I give you an A+ LoveBHMs for all your energy and efforts as the rational glue trying to keep things together


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## Guy (Jan 6, 2010)

This thread is now closed. It may or may not return after Mods review.


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