# I think I give up. (Or, why do I bother?)



## tankgirl (Apr 4, 2006)

No one reads my stories offline; no one reads them online.
No one wants my art offline; no one wants it online.
Thanks to you yuppie fucks and your Rembrandt PRINTS and your Picasso PRINTS and your van Gogh PRINTS, REAL modern artists are starving.
Or in my case, cancelling the internet.
Thanks, yuppie scum.
Fuck you and your $75K a year income.
Fuck your commission.
Fuck your corner window office and your ipod and your wireless broadband laptop with ipod hookups.
Fuck your cable tv and your commercials and your engineered/projected needs.
I NEED FOOD. I NEED HEAT. I NEED RUNNING WATER TO BATHE AND FLUSH THE TOILET.
Seems like that's all you should need too.
Fuck your khakis.
Matter of fact, fuck you.
I can't afford the internet- my ONE vice- because other people have no need to support their fellow beings. Won't pay me to repair their car, computer, or sports equipment. Won't pay me to weld, cut, or even just grunt and run parts.
This is my last month online.
Anyone who wants art (come on, SOMEONE has to), this is the time to do it. Just contact me, let me know what you want, and THEN we'll talk price.
Or don't. And I'll disappear.
Whatever.


SUPPORT A REAL MODERN ARTIST!! BURN A PICASSO!!


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## decibel (Apr 4, 2006)

lol
telling everyone to fuck off isn't going to help your situation
nice rant though


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## Goreki (Apr 4, 2006)

I read your story and loved it like anything. so did a lot of others i saw.

Good luck getting your art sold (it's a bitch, i know) and keep fighting!


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## Boteroesque Babe (Apr 4, 2006)

I believe I've spotted your problem, Tank Girl. The dearth of yuppie fucks in this forum is so indisputable you'd run smack into it if it weren't, y'know, dearth. Which you can pretty much walk straight through. Yet you address yuppie fucks _here_. In upper case, no less.

I used to own a couple of art galleries (I don't wear khakis and you're a bit off on the income, though I'll cop to being a fuck), and I sometimes smoothed the hair of fretful painters with reminders of the insolvent lives of some of the world's great artists, and advice such as paint for your own pleasure, not for that of patrons.

Then I'd make a joke about focusing on the posthumous, but something tells me you're not big on jokes.

I'll skip the advice here, though, since it sounds like you've come up with a pretty good plan with that whole giving up the Internet and burning Picassos thing. So I'll just bid you good luck and godspeed, Tank Girl. Wishing you better days ahead.


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## Egbert Souse (Apr 4, 2006)

Become a jazz saxophone player, a purveyor of "America's National Treasure" (i think some congressman coined that phrase).

You'll be fartin' through silk in NO time.


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## AZ_Wolf (Apr 4, 2006)

I'm cool with burning anything anyone in NYC -- or southern CA, the two most over-fluffed areas of our country -- owns, though.


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## BigChaz (Apr 4, 2006)

You could always become a stripper.


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## Santaclear (Apr 4, 2006)

This all brings up an excellent point. Should there be a separate yuppie fucks forum?


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## Carrie (Apr 4, 2006)

Santaclear said:


> This all brings up an excellent point. Should there be a separate yuppie fucks forum?



I have been lobbying for this ever since I became one. I'm sick and tired of you bohemian, artistic fucks.


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## Egbert Souse (Apr 4, 2006)

Carrie said:


> I have been lobbying for this ever since I became one. I'm sick and tired of you bohemian, artistic fucks.



I regret that, probably due to being involuntarily thrown into this infernal Daylight Savings Time system, i lack the energy to spread any more rep around (another infernal system i've been thrown involuntarily into of late).

I'll still be laughing tomorrow at this line, though.
Probly at inappropriate times.


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## SoVerySoft (Apr 5, 2006)

I'm thinking I'd like to see a forum for good fucks. 



p.s. Membership by invitation only (we can't deem ourselves good fucks.)


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## Webmaster (Apr 5, 2006)

tankgirl said:


> No one wants my art offline; no one wants it online.



Is there a website where one could peruse your artwork?


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## Carrie (Apr 5, 2006)

SoVerySoft said:


> I'm thinking I'd like to see a forum for good fucks.



Yay! 



SoVerySoft said:


> p.s. Membership by invitation only (we can't deem ourselves good fucks.)



Oh.


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## Carrie (Apr 5, 2006)

Egbert Souse said:


> I regret that, probably due to being involuntarily thrown into this infernal Daylight Savings Time system, i lack the energy to spread any more rep around (another infernal system i've been thrown involuntarily into of late).
> 
> I'll still be laughing tomorrow at this line, though.
> Probly at inappropriate times.



You're one of them. Gimme my rep, ya freaking deadbeat hippie.


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## mejix (Apr 5, 2006)

reminds me of the time i found an artist friend of mine completely drunk in his apartment. he told me "well i am three months late with my rent but i only had $10 in my bank account so i said fuck it, i'm not even close, and bought myself some beer." 

cheer up, the internet is sooo overrated. its all hype, like cable tv and health insurance.


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## tankgirl (Apr 5, 2006)

Webmaster said:


> Is there a website where one could peruse your artwork?


 
Yup.
http://groups.yahoo.com/groups/lines_of_insanity/

Poor representation at the moment; very little time to scan what little new stuff I have, though, my best stuff (and some other bits) are up.
No fetish art, still.... I don't have a lot of that that's decent, as 99% of my fetish art is CGI, and posted elsewhere.
Any more questions?


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## tankgirl (Apr 5, 2006)

Egbert Souse said:


> Become a jazz saxophone player, a purveyor of "America's National Treasure" (i think some congressman coined that phrase).
> 
> You'll be fartin' through silk in NO time.


 
I play jazz sax. Yup. One of the best in town. And this town ain't huge, but it ain't small.
Problem #1: I play BARI sax. FIND a SOLO bari player. If you do, HOOK ME UP WITH HIS NAME AND NUMBER SO I CAN FIGURE OUT HOW HE GOT SO SUCCESSFUL.
Problem #2: I have my own bari MOUTHPIECE..... but no bari SAX. However, and this is the fucked up part, I have not only an alto, but a tenor, AND a soprano sax.... ALL without mouthpieces. Go figure.
Problem #3: My credit is so fucked off, I'm saving up for filing a chapter 7. This means I cannot rent a horn. Nor, as is probably apparent, do I have enough cash for a decent mouthpiece- a Brilhart or even a... dammit, I forget the other name. Otto...sommat? Something- for the alto OR the tenor.
Problem #4: I have no credentials. None. Nada. Just a bad attitude and a smart mouth to get me in or out of trouble as they choose.
Problem #5 (rather, problem one part two AND prob four part two): there are... four? jazz groups in town that want sax players, and in three of them, no one has spare mouthpieces- in the fourth, they know me.

And for the record:
I also play clarinet, bass clarinet, Eb clarinet (which is a different beast ENTIRELY), oboe, English horn, bassoon, tuba, turmpet.... I'm fairly decent in most matters of percussion save drum set (lack of experience more than anything), some piano, and a tiny, tiny bit of leftover knowledge of stringed instruments. Also know a wee bit about composing and theory.
I can hotrod about anything. Computers, OLD cars/trucks, skateboards, rollerblades.... bikes... ummm... sound systems.... (not hotWIRE, dork, hotROD....)...
I do art (pen, pencil, brush and ink, charcoal, acrylic, oils (though I hate them), oil pastel, crayon, coloured pencil, gel pen (of all the damned things), marker, perm marker, airbrush, brush with airbrush paints, car paints, and probably a few dozen others I forget at the moment...).
I can also do ceramics and clay; wheel, kiln ops, glazing, and sculpting (though I'm not so good at that).
Learning how to weld.
And I can drive anything that has wheels. Well, cept planes- can't pilot yet. That's sometime in the next few years. Same with my CDL-A with passenger and trailer add'ts. And my motorcycle endorsement.
I can.... but not legally. Too broke. *snerk*

And for some reason, I'm still taking it up the ass in the job department. I think it's the town. And the fact that this town is ruled by yuppie fucks who think that making camping in city limits a tickitable offense is going to solve the homeless problem. HAH! 
Oh well. Moving soon. Praise Jesus.
And passing out now. *yawn*


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## Boteroesque Babe (Apr 5, 2006)

tankgirl said:


> Problem #1: I play BARI sax. FIND a SOLO bari player. If you do, HOOK ME UP WITH HIS NAME AND NUMBER SO I CAN FIGURE OUT HOW HE GOT SO SUCCESSFUL.
> Problem #2: I have my own bari MOUTHPIECE..... but no bari SAX.


Again, I do believe I've spotted your problem, Tank Girl.

Dag. I should get into the Life Coach game. I'm damn good at this.


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## CleverBomb (Apr 5, 2006)

tankgirl said:


> Problem #1: I play BARI sax. FIND a SOLO bari player. If you do, HOOK ME UP WITH HIS NAME AND NUMBER SO I CAN FIGURE OUT HOW HE GOT SO SUCCESSFUL.
> Problem #2: I have my own bari MOUTHPIECE..... but no bari SAX.





Boteroesque Babe said:


> Again, I do believe I've spotted your problem, Tank Girl.
> 
> Dag. I should get into the Life Coach game. I'm damn good at this.



Indeed.
It's lack of sax that's bringing her down.

-Rusty


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## Miss Vickie (Apr 5, 2006)

tankgirl said:


> I play jazz sax. Yup. One of the best in town. And this town ain't huge, but it ain't small.
> Problem #1: I play BARI sax. FIND a SOLO bari player. If you do, HOOK ME UP WITH HIS NAME AND NUMBER SO I CAN FIGURE OUT HOW HE GOT SO SUCCESSFUL.
> Problem #2: I have my own bari MOUTHPIECE..... but no bari SAX. However, and this is the fucked up part, I have not only an alto, but a tenor, AND a soprano sax.... ALL without mouthpieces. Go figure.
> Problem #3: My credit is so fucked off, I'm saving up for filing a chapter 7. This means I cannot rent a horn. Nor, as is probably apparent, do I have enough cash for a decent mouthpiece- a Brilhart or even a... dammit, I forget the other name. Otto...sommat? Something- for the alto OR the tenor.
> ...



Oh and don't forget your stellar people skills. They'll get you far in life.


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## Ladyrose1952 (Apr 5, 2006)

Not much of a comment here, don't think it needs one.....


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## JMNYC (Apr 5, 2006)

The answer to "I don't have enough money" is always "Get to work". In the time it took you to write your complaint, you could have been on the phone doing what needs to be done to make a full time career happen. Don't have connections? Make 'em. How? Develop a pleasing personality. Learn how to give instead of taking. Work for free. Do what it takes. Work your ass off, at night, on weekends, whatever it takes. 

Don't ever, ever complain, about anything. 

Last year when things got slow, I painted a garage. When I was 27, I cleaned houses. Today, I spend almost equal time marketing my material as I do creating it. 

Consider the possibility---it may or may not be true---that what you do isn't what's going to bring you full time wages, and do it as a sideline instead of a mainline. Do it because you have to, not to pay your way in the world. Do it for the fun.

"Every songwriter thinks he's a great songwriter." Popa Chubby


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## tankgirl (Apr 6, 2006)

JMNYC said:


> The answer to "I don't have enough money" is always "Get to work". In the time it took you to write your complaint, you could have been on the phone doing what needs to be done to make a full time career happen. Don't have connections? Make 'em. How? Develop a pleasing personality. Learn how to give instead of taking. Work for free. Do what it takes. Work your ass off, at night, on weekends, whatever it takes.
> 
> Don't ever, ever complain, about anything.
> 
> ...


 

.....ONE problem here:
The only true definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
Thus the problem:
If I follow your advice, it'll be stupidity.

I'm not doing ANYTHING because it'll make me rich. Everything I do now IS the "whatever's clever and will get me groceries" category. Next week I'm slated to learn how to hang sheet rock; this week, I'm learning more about wiring. Will this pay immediately? No, but it's busy work that needs done. So I do it.
The thing is though, is for everything I've done, it's not enough.
It's NEVER enough.

I am not now, never will be, and just flat hate people pleasers. I am who I am. Pleasing personality. Did that for a while, working as a telemarketer. Then a sales clerk, briefly. I can't stand it. I REFUSE TO BOW DOWN TO PEOPLE STUPIDER THAN MY ROOMMATE'S DOG!

By the way: four hours on the phone a day is enough, especially when my only phone is a cell phone- I have to count minutes at least a LITTLE bit. I take my breaks where and when I want; I am taking my break on the computer right now, actually. Just made a couple of lights work; it's time to let my back uncramp.
Hell, this was hardly a break. Had to install some shit and run my spyware prog just to get here for a few minutes. :doh: 

It's to the point it's a rut. I hate ruts. Same shit, different day, for a year. It's time for a change.


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## zonker (Apr 6, 2006)

Well, I liked your stories, tankgirl. Sorry you are having such a rough time. No yuppie here, just a working stiff, earning a buck or two slower than someone else comes along and grabs it from me....


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## tankgirl (Apr 7, 2006)

zonker said:


> Well, I liked your stories, tankgirl. Sorry you are having such a rough time. No yuppie here, just a working stiff, earning a buck or two slower than someone else comes along and grabs it from me....


 
And most of these same people are overqualified managers from McDonald's, huh...?

Another thing I despise about today's job market:
SINCE WHEN does it require a DEGREE and a RESUME to flip fucking HAMBURGERS?

I have neither; the fact that I have very little patience has a lot to do with both, but on the other hand (with my other fingers), most the things I want to do shouldn't (I think) require either.

It's a sad, sad world when you have to have an AA level degree or better to have a hope of getting a job.
....Makes me want to tell these people, quite seriously, that I have a degree in Bitchotomy. Master's level. Or some stupid shit. And then make the certificate. Why not? I have the pretty cert paper and the printer.... hmmmm....
*thinks of more interesting ways to fuck with people in the upper echelons*

And now.... for something completely different.


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## tankgirl (Apr 10, 2006)

Yeah, this is almost different. But I thought of it.
*snickers*

Any you yuppie fucks want a hot car? A hot REAL car, or a REAL truck maybe. You know, anything not fuel injected, and no brain box. And, of course, not made of plastic. You know, like the ones they made five years before I was born. '78 and OLDER. There's no point in these new ones; I'm a computer person on the side and those still confuse the fuck out of me. No future in em.

*stares at that and laughs harder*

I'm all old-school an shit, in most ways, so I'm not really all surprised that I hate these new cars. Fuel efficient is just fine- I ALMOST want a hybrid, myself- but they have NO personality. None. Nada. Ghost in the machine is all those are. They go ZING! They crumple. You replace it with the insurance money. Repeat.

*chuckle*

Anyway, yeah. Take a chance on some weirdos in WA. Sponsor us. We'll come to your state (we want out of this one anyway), do up said vehicle somewhere near you, and paint it to your specs. 
You get a new toy, and we get to a place where hopefully we can do work, not wait to do work.

The goal would be to get into a shop on a chunk of land. Get into full time resorations and only do maintainance and repairs on the side. 
But ain't no one here willing to work with us, and no bank gonna lend to us either. Bad credit and no credit. And it'll be hard to prove that we WILL have work in the future- the proving it part. Know we will, we do. But it's hard to prove intuition and instinct.

Or, someone buy the race truck. We gotta fix it again, just blew the motor (again) a while ago- doing the quarter mile. Made a 13.5 still, though. Was polite enough not to blow till 10ft from the line. Should be done soon. 

*rereads all that and laughs like a psycho*

See... this IS what I started doing when shit got rough last year. Complete career change from trying to make it in computers to trying to make it in mechanics. Did, for a while, too. Now all of a sudden I need a new way. And no certs to say that I know what I know. Can't afford em, cause I'm broke, cause I can't get a 9-5 job, cause I can't afford the certs that would give me better chances at said 9-5, and I'm still broke cause I don't have a 9-5, and you can SEE the circle. That's where I'm stuck, see. Need a way out this circle. So, I'm grasping at straws.
On the flip side; interview tomorrow.
I say: $200 says I get the same shit about "We don't have a place for you right now; DO NOT call us."
Am I too eager? And what the HELL is wrong with being excited to work? Go in there, smiles and sunshine cause I get an interview, finally! I get maybe two a year if I try really hard and put in like, 40 apps... cause every other place wants a resume that I don't have (and don't want, there's nothing I've done to put on it- fucker'd have my name and shit... and I've worked for OSA for a year.... and there is NO WAY to make dropping out of three colleges look good... so forget it).... fucking resumes. Fucking stupid people think a paper's gonna tell you more about a person than a person. I hate apps too, same reason. *sigh*
I'll quit babbling now. I lost where I was going.


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