# Do BBW's get more of a "bye" than FA's do?



## wrestlingguy (Aug 28, 2009)

Someone brought this up to me in a recent conversation. I don't have much of an opinion (yet.....you all know I will at some point), but I'd like to hear some feedback from everyone else.

The scenario that was described is as follows (and it happened in another forum, not here). Essentially, this fellow posted something concerning anal sex with a BBW, and insinuated a "hookup" to do so. While his comments were straightforward, they weren't graphic. He was flamed unmercilessly for his comments.

In the same forum, a BBW model posted in a thread that she'd like to "get with" a very generous sugar daddy kind of guy. Evidently her thread was welcomed with open arms (I suppose there are more sugar daddies than I estimated).

So, my question is, do you feel that BBW's are given more latitude with regard to their posts than FA's are, or do the FA's just say more dumb stuff, so it appears that way?


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## Spanky (Aug 28, 2009)

Interesting question, Phil.

I think that with all of the shit BBWs have to deal with OUTSIDE of this forum, they tend to react a little more strongly to some of the ass-hat-ery that comes from any and all posters. Others might view it as being henpecking, moral policing or just plain old ganging up. I think BBWs deserve a pretty damn clean nest more than FAs deserve to hang around smelling it up with stupid comments. 

On the other hand, I have seen out and out piling-on of young or inexperienced FAs (and BBWs) who make a comment that may be the wrong side of a debate in a heated 5000 post thread two weeks ago. It is oh so easy to mush up some newbie (and yes, possibly having made an idiotic statement) and send him or her off for good. 

Stepping onto the Dims playing field is a little like stepping off the plane into another country where you may speak a little of the language, understand and read a little too. You THINK you know what they are saying, you think they should understand you, but you switch a word here and an descriptor there and WHAM, you are asking the bartender for a vagina with your wheat beer* (true self story ) 

Some need to try nudging the newbs while they are trying to fit in and the newbs should be warned to tread lightly before doing a cannonball into the Dims pool. 







*the bartender did NOT deliver


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## LoveBHMS (Aug 28, 2009)

I really think it's just a matter of gender/sexual inequality and power.

Women can get away with whistling or catcalls at men because they are inherently perceived as being less powerful and threatening. Women can't rape men. Women are often weaker, or perceived as weaker regarding physical, economic, social, or political strength. To that end, it's harder for women to objectify men due to their actual or perceived lack of power.

Sex is something that men can take from women in any number of ways. A man's economic power can pay an escort or subscribe to a paysite. A man can rape. A man can choose or not choose to date or marry a woman and by doing so offer her social and economic security.

So what i'm saying is, it's not a level playing field so no, the same rules don't and should not apply.


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## Tau (Aug 28, 2009)

LoveBHMS said:


> I really think it's just a matter of gender/sexual inequality and power.
> 
> Women can get away with whistling or catcalls at men because they are inherently perceived as being less powerful and threatening. Women can't rape men. Women are often weaker, or perceived as weaker regarding physical, economic, social, or political strength. To that end, it's harder for women to objectify men due to their actual or perceived lack of power.
> 
> ...



What she said ('cept the raping bit!)  For years I would work myself into absolute knots because of double standards - especially when they worked in my favour. As Love has said though there are certain historical contexts and gender realities that have created the standards and our ways of reacting to each other. I figure as long as it doesn't become harmful - for instance when young boys are raped by female teachers everybody thinks its just fine and said dude is a lucky sob (one of our radio dj's actually said this on air :doh - then we live with them.


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## katorade (Aug 28, 2009)

What year is it again?


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## Brenda (Aug 28, 2009)

Anal sex is going to be seen as a lot more aggressive than hooking up. I think the examples you used are poor choices to make your assumed point.


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## wrestlingguy (Aug 28, 2009)

Brenda said:


> Anal sex is going to be seen as a lot more aggressive than hooking up. I think the examples you used are poor choices to make your assumed point.



Thanks Brenda, but I wasn't making a point. If you READ my original post, I was asking a question, not expressing an opinion.

I suppose anal sex appears aggressive to some, but to others, "hooking up" in a sugar daddy relationship may be equally offensive, hence the question.

Additionally, I didn't choose these examples, they were put to me by someone, and it got me to thinking more about this topic.


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## joswitch (Aug 28, 2009)

...Wow! Disagreeing with pretty much all of that post by LoveBHMs there.. ..To the OP - do I think there's societal double standard(s)? Yeah probably.. But which way it leans depends on a lot on context who/what/where.. I'd like to see an end to all such sexist double standards.. One especially that bugs me: polyamorous guy=stud.. whereas a girl is referred to as a "sl*t".. Roll on the day when both are neither lauded nor condemned but just accepted for being free loving people..


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## Elfcat (Aug 28, 2009)

Could not agree more with Jos on that one. I would add that a true freethinking guy would be doing everything possible to defend women who do as he does. You gotta have your comrades' backs after all.... and not just in the way referred to in the original note. <oh snap>


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## Elfcat (Aug 28, 2009)

It doesn't seem like women want to rape men at the same rate as the other way around, but we all know what happened to John Wayne Bobbit when he overplayed his, er, hand.

A man can choose to date or marry a woman based on his money, yes, _if_ he has enough of it. How many times have we heard the archetypal story of the nerd's retort, "*I'll be rich one day, then let's see you LJBF me!*" There is a culturally enforced male physical ideal as well, and I would say a lot of men who vary much from this would tell you they themselves feel sexually proletarianized. And for those who only manage to scramble to the low rungs of that ladder, maybe they feel that a night here and there of GFE is the best they can hope for. I've been single. I've been widowed, way too young to go without a wife for the rest of my life. There was a period of time after my loss when, after an off night at the club, I felt like I might just bury myself in work and porn, and it was not the best of feelings.

Getting a clip here and there from a paysite is not finding a partner. Neither is paying an escort. Men who think they are buying loyalty from a woman by marrying her are not only doing it for a really crappy reason, but are buying a loyalty that is tenuous at best IF his income keeps coming in. If that lags, the kind of partner who is bought will be seeking elsewhere at a moment's notice.

To casually lump paysite clips and rape so close together would seem to be a conflation of them. As if one is an automatic "gateway drug" to the other. A lot of men do impatient and dumb things, but I think to conflate these with rape is to assume that men who do such things don't care at all about their own clumsiness or the disturbance it causes.


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## kayrae (Aug 28, 2009)

I don't think this thread is appropriately placed in the FA/FFA forum. If you're going to talk about BBWs, it shouldn't be placed in a protected forum in which we cannot respond.


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## joswitch (Aug 28, 2009)

Lol! I take it some dude is being a pain over in the BBW board (again)? [for the record.. Not that my opinion on it matters.. I totally support it.. And seeing dudes just unable to keep themselves from posting all over it, totally demos as to why it's needed!]


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## vardon_grip (Aug 28, 2009)

kayrae said:


> I don't think this thread is appropriately placed in the FA/FFA forum. If you're going to talk about BBWs, it shouldn't be placed in a protected forum in which we cannot respond.



It didn't stop LoveBHMS, Tau, Brenda or katorade (afaik 3/4 are BBW's) so who is this "we" that you are referring to? Are they not allowed to post a reply to the question and will their posts be removed for breaking a rule? Maybe I don't understand what "protected" really means.


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## Isa (Aug 28, 2009)

kayrae said:


> I don't think this thread is appropriately placed in the FA/FFA forum. If you're going to talk about BBWs, it shouldn't be placed in a protected forum in which we cannot respond.



If this question was posted in the BBW forum then the guys would be given a reminder not to post. Seems that they are damned if they do, damned if they don't.


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## tonynyc (Aug 28, 2009)

vardon_grip said:


> It didn't stop LoveBHMS, Tau, Brenda or katorade (afaik 3/4 are BBW's) so who is this "we" that you are referring to? Are they not allowed to post a reply to the question and will their posts be removed for breaking a rule? Maybe I don't understand what *"protected" *really means.



I will now defer to Joe Pesci to answer your questions on "Protected"....







*Protected? * 
*Protected How?* 
*As in Witness Protection* :happy:


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## Tau (Aug 29, 2009)

So this thread looks well on its way to being spicy! *grabs popcorn and coke*


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## katorade (Aug 29, 2009)

Vardon, I think what Kayrae was referring to is that if this thread turns heated, which most BBW vs. FA threads do, the "protected forum" card will inevitably get pulled. Considering the main topic targets the women just as much as the men, it's a bit biased to be in _either_ of the two forums.


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## kayrae (Aug 29, 2009)

dingdingding


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## Observer (Aug 29, 2009)

Nothing posted in this thread thus far is going to be removed. Nor will it be in the future because of the gender of the poster.

From our posted guidelines:



> *On the Participation of Non FA/FFAs*
> 
> The focus of this forum is the discussion of FA/FFA issues, but this in no way precludes participation by interested non-FAs/FFAs. *The forum is open for all to view and positive or supportive comments from non-FAs are welcomed*. However, as the forum is a protected space for FAs/FFAs, any negative, disruptive or belittling posts will be removed or moderated.



Whether the gender rather than FA/FFA specificity of this particular thread may mean it would be better placed elsewhere is another issue. We always reserve the right to move threads. But posts by BBW's (and BHM's as well) are welcome here, have been commonly recieved here, and will continue to be!

Observer
Moderator


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## KHayes666 (Aug 29, 2009)

FREE FOR ALL!!

*dives on people and gives them noogies...males, females, don't matter*


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## bigsexy920 (Aug 29, 2009)

They both seem like win win for the guys. Hooking up for anal - and a BBW web model looking for a sugar daddy. Dont guys like being the sugar daddy's maybe not using that term for it. ut to me a sugar daddy is usually an older guy finacially secure that is looking for a trophy type women (hugh) and is willing to do anything to keep them happy and they love it. When they are done and want to move on - the woman is replaced. That is just my personal perspective. 

As for hooking up for anal, it seeme like a pretty intimate act to me - not something id give away in a hook up but I wonder if the women he hooks up with for anal know its just a hook up ?


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## wrestlingguy (Aug 29, 2009)

So, my question to you is, didn't I ask a question that I obviously don't know the answer to? I didn't know that was a crime......

Next question, why does this thread have to become heated? If this is in the vein of understanding how the male/female dynamic works, don't you think that those truly interested in exploring this will give honest, perceptive answers, while others will..........I guess just be themselves.

Last question, would a topic like this, even if the question was reversed, be welcome in the BBW forum?

That is all.





katorade said:


> Vardon, I think what Kayrae was referring to is that if this thread turns heated, which most BBW vs. FA threads do, the "protected forum" card will inevitably get pulled. Considering the main topic targets the women just as much as the men, it's a bit biased to be in _either_ of the two forums.


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## wrestlingguy (Aug 29, 2009)

I find the term Sugar Daddy insulting, FWIW. I also find men who do that insulting as well. I guess in terms of relationships, to me it seems no better than that between a hooker and her john, not something I was raised to look for out of my relationships.

So Berna, my question then becomes, is in open invitation to participate in anal sex any worse than what may be no better than a prostitute's solicitation of a client?




bigsexy920 said:


> They both seem like win win for the guys. Hooking up for anal - and a BBW web model looking for a sugar daddy. Dont guys like being the sugar daddy's maybe not using that term for it. ut to me a sugar daddy is usually an older guy finacially secure that is looking for a trophy type women (hugh) and is willing to do anything to keep them happy and they love it. When they are done and want to move on - the woman is replaced. That is just my personal perspective.
> 
> As for hooking up for anal, it seeme like a pretty intimate act to me - not something id give away in a hook up but I wonder if the women he hooks up with for anal know its just a hook up ?


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## TraciJo67 (Aug 29, 2009)

katorade said:


> What year is it again?



Apparently, it's 1954 

OP: I don't think there's anything wrong with where this thread is placed, but I do believe you'd get more, and more honest responses, if it were placed on another board.


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## KHayes666 (Aug 29, 2009)

TraciJo67 said:


> Apparently, it's 1954
> 
> OP: I don't think there's anything wrong with where this thread is placed, but I do believe you'd get more, and more honest responses, if it were placed on another board.



screw that...lets go back to October 5, 1955


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## katorade (Aug 29, 2009)

wrestlingguy said:


> So, my question to you is, didn't I ask a question that I obviously don't know the answer to? I didn't know that was a crime......
> 
> Next question, why does this thread have to become heated? If this is in the vein of understanding how the male/female dynamic works, don't you think that those truly interested in exploring this will give honest, perceptive answers, while others will..........I guess just be themselves.
> 
> ...



Wrestlingguy, I wouldn't blame you if the thread turned sour. It's a decent topic of discussion. It's just from what I've seen, the subject matter of this thread means it's BOUND to end up in a fight. The "who's got it better?" threads always do. I would think the same thing in the BBW forum, though it would probably degenerate even more quickly.


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## Duniwin (Aug 29, 2009)

wrestlingguy said:


> So, my question is, do you feel that BBW's are given more latitude with regard to their posts than FA's are, or do the FA's just say more dumb stuff, so it appears that way?



My opinion: more FAs just say dumb stuff. Compounding that, BBWs are more likely to be offended personally by dumb stuff than most FAs are.


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## tonynyc (Aug 29, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> screw that...lets go back to October 5, 1955









*
1955- such culinary nostalgia... 
makes one want to rush to the Market and by a box of Knox Gelatin.
LEMON CHIFFON PIE anyone ??????
*


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## tonynyc (Aug 29, 2009)

katorade said:


> Wrestlingguy, I wouldn't blame you if the thread turned sour. It's a decent topic of discussion. It's just from what I've seen, the subject matter of this thread means it's BOUND to end up in a fight. The "who's got it better?" threads always do. I would think the same thing in the BBW forum, though it would probably degenerate even more quickly.



*I don't think this debate on who gets the "bye" has to reach a level of a heated discussion...

Whether it's (1954,1955, 2009) there are some scenarios that one gets a bye and another does not... *



Duniwin said:


> My opinion: more FAs just say dumb stuff. Compounding that, BBWs are more likely to be offended personally by dumb stuff than most FAs are.



*Well certainly stuff that will get negative attention...

However,Consider the following....

Hypothetical Scenario

BBW opens a thread & expressed a lack of confidence
FA opens a thread & expressed a lack of confidence

**Both introductions & comments are entered on the Main Board.

Depending how the FA presents his case- he can either be accepted OR flamed by both genders... If his statements are not accepted somewhere the response will appear that he better "Grow some fucking balls". 

The BBW, on the average, will garner more sympathetic responses.
*


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## superodalisque (Aug 29, 2009)

yes, i think bbws get more room to maneuver here than FAs do. they say and do things that if a guy did he would probably be banned. i've seen very sexual and very hostile stuff posted. i think its mainly because FAs are much less likely to report people on the whole. i think that maybe they should just report those things more so that they'll be a little more equilibrium.

i noticed the same thing happening in chat. like the posting pix issue. if a guy doesn't post a pic here on the forums or in chat and doesn't speak much in the open he is considered to be a troll right away. it may be that like a lot of people new to a place he is just getting his feet. i don't see this same approach attached to women. a bbw is just quiet, shy or getting to know the place. i've seen bbws be abusive toward people with disabilities, i've seen them call people nasty names, i've seen them married pretending to be single. no one says a thing. but when guys do the same they get banned. i think there is a true double standard here myself. but then i'm not around all of the time and i don't know of every ocurrance. its just what i tend to see when i'm around.

on the other hand guys don't have to put up with a lot of things bbws have to put up with. most of the abusive stuff towards bbws happens in private. so by the time most of you guys come across a bbw here she has been primed by some guys who are truly almost sociopathic in the way that they treat them. they especially hone in on the newbies before they can find out there are actually such things as decent FAs. a lot of bbws are even too embarrassed to talk about most of the stuff they've come across and how some FAs have tried to manipulate them. as much as bbws complain here there is still a LOT that they keep quiet about. i don't just get this from bbws but from FAs confessing to me themselves about things they have done before. and for every honest FA who actually feels sorry and apologetic for mistakes he may have made there are tons who aren't and don't seem to care and do the same continually even after many years of knowing and understanding the effect they are having on bbws. nutty guys try to brainwash women into thier ways of thinking. they cyber harass. they talk to women in disrespectful abusive ways that most other guys don't have a clue about. 

i often wish a lot of my guy friends could come in as women just to see the kind of mind numbing negative stuff a lot of women here have to deal with. so in the end it makes them touchy. there is so much nastiness and mind games being played behind the scenes that i think it makes a lot of women extremely cynical. if all of the guys were trying to be decent and polite i think there would be a lot fewer women getting upset and reporting the guys for the least little thing. at some point you understand the general tone of someone and where it is going. but there is no way for a lot of FAs to understand that and a lot of things sound innocent to them in public on the forums but a lot of bbws know better. so its kind of a mixed bag. i didn't get my opinion that its better not to take a lot of FAs here seriously from nowhere. i'm pretty even handed. some other bbws even think i give FAs too much room. but if i depended on this place for serious male relationships i'd be upset myself. i think the reason a lot of guys who've been around for a while don't report bbws for some stuff is because they understand that. thats why its good for you guys who care to be heard more. and to also make sure not to keep silent yourself when you see something messed up. but don't be afraid to defend yourselves either. anyone can go too far--even a hurt bbw.


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## KHayes666 (Aug 29, 2009)

Here's what I noticed.......if a guy came out in the middle of the open and bellowed "I WANT A HUGE SEXY FAT CHICK WITH A GINORMOUS ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" pretty much every female member not fitting the description would line up to beat him with a stick then say he's objectifying. Hell even some of the women who do fit the description would say the same thin

Now, if a woman went in the middle of the room and screamed "I WANT A HOT SEXY MAN WITH A HUGE COCKKKKKKKKKKKK" every male not fitting the description would go "meh...whatever". Its the same objectification of the first scenario but the reaction would be much different.

Women are no different then men. They will trip and fall, get drunk and make asses out of themselves, they will fart so loud it will wake the kids up....they're HUMAN. Human's make mistakes, its not fair to say more men than women are jerks or says stupid things. EVERYONE can say something stupid on any given day.

It just so happens we're on a forum where the objectification of women is somewhat justified by the paysite ads saying "look how fat i am" or "don't i look sexy?" So a guy sees the paysite ads and thinks "well, these girls love flaunting their stuff so I'm gonna shout out what I want". The same thing would happen in a predominant BHM style forum....like if the paysite ads were all of men. The women would be saying "I love your huge wang" or "oooh i love a guy with a six pack and spiked hair, yummm"....its the same thing as the guy saying he wants a girl with a huge ass.

So do bbw's get a bye on here? Hell yes they do, just look around. The site is predominantly about and run by bbw's. Its no different than a baseball forum run by Red Sox fans who take the side of the red sox fan if he/she's locked in a battle with a yankee fan. 

That's my opinion anyway, just how I feel.


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## katorade (Aug 29, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> Here's what I noticed.......if a guy came out in the middle of the open and bellowed "I WANT A HUGE SEXY FAT CHICK WITH A GINORMOUS ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" pretty much every female member not fitting the description would line up to beat him with a stick then say he's objectifying. Hell even some of the women who do fit the description would say the same thin
> 
> Now, if a woman went in the middle of the room and screamed "I WANT A HOT SEXY MAN WITH A HUGE COCKKKKKKKKKKKK" every male not fitting the description would go "meh...whatever". Its the same objectification of the first scenario but the reaction would be much different.
> 
> ...



It is not our responsibility as women to have a say over how men react to their own objectification. If you have a problem with it, then speak up. That's what we do when we see a problem. You also don't see the thousand or so women rolling their eyes at the "I want a huge cock" posts. Thing is, it's not our place to speak for the male population here, and we can't really have any opinion on how they might take something BECAUSE WE'RE NOT MEN.

Also, there's a huge separation between the paysite and the communal aspects of the board. The people on pay-sites are ASKING to be objectified. Hell, they get PAID for it. 
And last time I checked, Conrad wasn't a woman.


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## Duniwin (Aug 29, 2009)

tonynyc said:


> *Well certainly stuff that will get negative attention...
> 
> However,Consider the following....
> 
> ...



A good point, and well taken. I was pretty brief in my earlier post, and I wanted to expand on that a little. I said that BBWs are more likely to be personally offended by unthinking remarks than FAs, and I beleive that is true... for all the reason that superodalisque mentioned. A lot of stuff goes on behind the scenes that the well behaved, "decent" FAs never see.

I still stand behind the other half of my statement that FAs are more likely to say dumb things. The average age of FAs coming to this site is probably much lower than the average age of BBWs coming to this site. If my own experience is any indication, FAs are likely to start exploring the internet as a young teen scouring the web for images of fat women. Thus many FAs stumble across Dims as awkward inexperienced teenagers. BBWs are probably more likely to come to Dimensions after trials and tribulations, and struggling to find a place in the world. I could be generalizing to far with these statements, but if true, they explain a lot.

It explains why brand new FAs say stupid stuff (they're young, inexperienced and _theoretically _over 18), and it explains why BBWs are more likely to be defensive (they've been out in the world and don't have patience for stupid stuff anymore).

We should be respecting everyone equally, and that means that since more out of line comments come from newbie FAs, they get more flack than other groups. I'm not going to tolerate rude or thoughtless comments, but I think it's important to understand where they are coming from.



katorade said:


> It is not our responsibility as women to have a say over how men react to their own objectification. If you have a problem with it, then speak up. That's what we do when we see a problem....
> 
> Also, there's a huge separation between the paysite and the communal aspects of the board. The people on pay-sites are ASKING to be objectified. Hell, they get PAID for it.



Aha! I totally agree with you, and this is where the disconnect for the dumb comments from newbie FAs comes in: they don't always realize there is a distinction between the paysite and communal parts of the boards, and a young FAs search will often lead them to the Paysite board before they reach the rest of the community.

Now, does this mean we should cut them some slack when they make inappropriate comments on the main boards? Hell no, they need to learn the rules and follow them just like everyone else. Not everyone has a teacher's patience with immaturity, but I just try to be firm, but forgiving of the first mistake or misstep. I don't take it personally if someone says something stupid, but if it becomes a chronic condition, there's usually no cure.


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## Blackjack (Aug 29, 2009)

Duniwin said:


> ...if it becomes a chronic condition, there's usually no cure.



Perscription: Pimpsmack the fool.

Results may vary. Side effects may include frustration, rage, insecurity, paranoia, diarrhea, gonhorrea, respiratory distress, anal leakage, priapism, and death.


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## superodalisque (Aug 30, 2009)

Duniwin said:


> A good point, and well taken. I was pretty brief in my earlier post, and I wanted to expand on that a little. I said that BBWs are more likely to be personally offended by unthinking remarks than FAs, and I beleive that is true... for all the reason that superodalisque mentioned. A lot of stuff goes on behind the scenes that the well behaved, "decent" FAs never see.
> 
> I still stand behind the other half of my statement that FAs are more likely to say dumb things. The average age of FAs coming to this site is probably much lower than the average age of BBWs coming to this site. If my own experience is any indication, FAs are likely to start exploring the internet as a young teen scouring the web for images of fat women. Thus many FAs stumble across Dims as awkward inexperienced teenagers. BBWs are probably more likely to come to Dimensions after trials and tribulations, and struggling to find a place in the world. I could be generalizing to far with these statements, but if true, they explain a lot.
> 
> ...



i can see where you might think its the young FAs who are the worst. but in my opinion thats not true. i'm often approached by 20 somethings and teens. i think its unfair to put this on totally on them. a lot of them are pretty respectful even if a bit coarse sometimes. if they put a foot wrong and you tell them they are more likely to apologize--at least that has been my experience. i'm sure other people might have different ones. very few of them have ever said something so horrendous to me right off the bat that i was totally upset with them. but then i don't know all of them and its true i'm not always very touchy about such things. 

i think there is a difference between the inexperience and ignorance of youth and outright hateful, dishonest and mysogynistic behavior. most of that truly comes from older FAs. it seems to me that some of them have an axe to grind when it comes to women. they can be intentionally emotionally abusive. sometimes i get the feeling that the may resent thier attraction to fat women and that might be magnified by the fact that the net wasn't around when most of them were younger and they never had much access. a lot of them seemed to feel that they been trapped in passionless relationships with people they were never really attracted to. my take on it is that they seem to almost unconsiously blame bbws for the fact that they never had the courage to stand up fo thier own preferences. something in this place just seems to bring out a lot of pent up anger regarding all of that. maybe its the sheer availability of women of thier dreams that they didn't have the courage to reach out for when they were young--regrets. add to that all of the fantasies they've had about what fat women should be like that they've engrained over the years and the fact that once they interact with real bbw they resent perhaps having some of those fantasy icons shattered. they seem to get angry if you don't want to flesh out thier fantasies for them. 

i'm not quite sure its fair to put it on the young and inexperienced. for me, a young guy a bit out of control is about as bothersome as a puppy who hasn't learned yet to know when its inappropriate to nip. it might hurt a little but you know that they'll learn different eventually -- they don't make me too angry because they want to learn to be different and to please you. in many cases that will happen if you teach then patiently instead of just hitting them with a rolled up newspaper. but the real problem comes with people who have a wall up about learning and harbor resentments against and try to punish you because they can't admit that thier own actions longterm have made them unhappy. every time they look at you somewhere deep down you remind them of how much bravery they have lacked.


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## Santaclear (Aug 30, 2009)

katorade said:


> Wrestlingguy, I wouldn't blame you if the thread turned sour. It's a decent topic of discussion. It's just from what I've seen, the subject matter of this thread means it's BOUND to end up in a fight. The "who's got it better?" threads always do. I would think the same thing in the BBW forum, though it would probably degenerate even more quickly.



Good point. More degenerates post on the BBW forum.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Aug 30, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> Now, if a woman went in the middle of the room and screamed "I WANT A HOT SEXY MAN WITH A HUGE COCKKKKKKKKKKKK" every male not fitting the description would go "meh...whatever". Its the same objectification of the first scenario but the reaction would be much different.



That's not true actually...at least not on Dims. There was a thread on the weight board with a guy talking about his gf telling him his dong was small. Some of the ladies (not just BBW either) mentioned how women are judged if they don't say they love small penises. I quoted and agreed with some (didn't even say neener neener I love huge cock or anything like that...)....and had some guy pitch an absolute hissy fit on me because I agreed that a woman should be allowed her preferences just like a man. 

Men can be quite sensitive about people not liking their bodies, too....and quite vocal.


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## tonynyc (Aug 30, 2009)

Santaclear said:


> Good point. More degenerates post on the BBW forum.



_Sounds like a win-win with plenty of degenerates to be shared by all _


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## KHayes666 (Aug 31, 2009)

tonynyc said:


> _Sounds like a win-win with plenty of degenerates to be shared by all _



You want degenerates on the BBW Forum? Let me call a few buddies...


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## tonynyc (Aug 31, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> You want degenerates on the BBW Forum? Let me call a few buddies...



_Kevin: 
Yep- sounds like we are going to have a party - don't forget to send the Invites, Party Favors and the Cake_ 






_I think a grand time will be had by all. 
Seems as if two of our guest are partying already...
_ :happy: :bow:


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## Brenda (Aug 31, 2009)

""I find the term Sugar Daddy insulting, FWIW. I also find men who do that insulting as well. I guess in terms of relationships, to me it seems no better than that between a hooker and her john, not something I was raised to look for out of my relationships.""

So maybe you did have an opinion.


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## wrestlingguy (Aug 31, 2009)

Brenda said:


> ""I find the term Sugar Daddy insulting, FWIW. I also find men who do that insulting as well. I guess in terms of relationships, to me it seems no better than that between a hooker and her john, not something I was raised to look for out of my relationships.""
> 
> So maybe you did have an opinion.




How astute of you. Unfortunately, my opinion was not about the question I asked. Nice try, though.

Maybe you want to go for round 2, where you can win a new Buick.


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## Brenda (Aug 31, 2009)

You ask a "question" like you have no idea what you think, when clearly you would not ask the question if you did not have an opinion.

Trying to insult does not make your point.


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## wrestlingguy (Aug 31, 2009)

There is no point. A question is a question, as long as someone is willing to learn from the question. That was my intent. While I may have feelings/opinions about some of the dynamics of the question, those opinions have no value in my understanding the responses of the question, and forming my opinion afterward.

Snarkiness aside, can we get some more opinions here? Help me!!!


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## exile in thighville (Aug 31, 2009)

Brenda said:


> Anal sex is going to be seen as a lot more aggressive than hooking up. I think the examples you used are poor choices to make your assumed point.



more aggressive than asking money for pussy?

i have no problem with paying for sex or sugar daddies, ftr. but i'd question the commitment.


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## vardon_grip (Aug 31, 2009)

wrestlingguy said:


> There is no point. A question is a question, as long as someone is willing to learn from the question. That was my intent. While I may have feelings/opinions about some of the dynamics of the question, those opinions have no value in my understanding the responses of the question, and forming my opinion afterward.
> 
> Snarkiness aside, can we get some more opinions here? Help me!!!



Yes, I think that BBW's get more leeway than FA's or men in general on this site. I think it has to do with numbers. There are more active female posters than males on this site. The women can understand where most of their sisters are coming from. More women=More female support. Less men=Less male support. 
It also doesn't help that more men write some pretty stupid shit. (I'm sorry, but you're on your own when you write in and ask if Target, Walmart or your parent's basement that you still live in, is the better place to meet BBW's) I think that there are some women who say some pretty silly shit also, but since 99% of it isn't about sex, feeding, squashing or Target-maybe it isn't seen as "flame-able"


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## exile in thighville (Aug 31, 2009)

female feeders get the most leeway of all.


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## tonynyc (Aug 31, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> female feeders get the most leeway of all.




*The only exception are Males who engage in the Sport of Competitive Eating and Food Critics (the ultimate Foodee Job)
*


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## rollhandler (Sep 3, 2009)

A fresh perspective on this might be that it not be an issue of FA Vs BBW but one of male nurture vs female nurture in a post sexual revolution society.

It used to be that women were taught to merely suck it up and not speak out, this has changed over the years and they are now not only taught to speak out but to be aggressive to a degree in doing so and less demure.

Men in relation to women have always been taught from the cradle not to act aggressively toward women, starting with respect of ones mother being held in higher esteem than any other person including ones father. Men also learn through this type of conditioning that we as males are not allowed to react toward women emotionally but instead to internalize most emotional response. From what starts out with maternal respect many men project over time this conditioning to include women as a gender as we learn that men are physically stronger and that females are emotional which men are taught is also a weakness. With males this is done at the subconscious level by adulthood, most don't realize that they are doing it. They simply internalize automatically and move on instead of commenting toward of a woman speaking distastefully. 

Another point of interest is the double standard of acceptable behaviour in society that men and women are supposed to adhere to. We are taught differently what is to be perceived as acceptable by gender in society. Men will accept another male making aggressive sexual advances toward a woman in some instances because we are taught to be aggressive sexually and it almost becomes a challenge game of what we were able to get a woman to do in bed that another woman would not normally be willing to do. This type of male behaviour is taught to women as offensive however men are only men and this behaviour is expected of them, however offensive it may be.

So, while a man might say something that may be considered offensive to women, he may not understand why it would be considered offensive since as a male it is behaviour that fits the model of the sexual conquest game he has been taught since birth and other men are less likely to comment on it. 

When a woman says something similar that offends a man a lot of time the males won't comment on it because we aren't supposed to externalize minor offenses and definately not toward women. It is more manly to show our thick skins and not show the emotional response, to show response is to show a weakness that can be exploited. The woman is no longer under gender taught obligation to show restraint toward the offense, as well as no societal restraint against speaking out against it, therefore she is more likely to respond to the offense and more often.

Women are taught to be in touch with the emotional and are encouraged to speak out. So while a man will not be as likely to perceive the slight or act on it verbally, women can and will, more often than not, as a sharing of how they feel.

My two bits (adjusted for inflation)
Rollhandler


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## superodalisque (Sep 3, 2009)

its true that changing/different sex roles have a lot to do with this but all of that could be avoided if people actually listened to each other and heard what was being said instead of always worrying about trying to be right. i think both men and women spend too much time trying to "win" and place blame. what if we just made an effort to truly communicate and actually try to please each other and help one another to grow? that way we won't be stubborn and keep making the same old mistakes over and over again.


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## Jack Skellington (Sep 6, 2009)

wrestlingguy said:


> So, my question is, do you feel that BBW's are given more latitude with regard to their posts than FA's are, or do the FA's just say more dumb stuff, so it appears that way?



Both genders are of course capable of saying some really out there things. But male FAs, in my opinion, are given amazing leeway in what they can post about. All you need is a quick glance of any of the protected forums to see it. That even aside I have seen some truly astoundingly inappropriate comments in strictly non sexual forums like the clothing and fashion one, for example.


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## chicken legs (Sep 7, 2009)

wrestlingguy said:


> Someone brought this up to me in a recent conversation. I don't have much of an opinion (yet.....you all know I will at some point), but I'd like to hear some feedback from everyone else.
> 
> The scenario that was described is as follows (and it happened in another forum, not here). Essentially, this fellow posted something concerning anal sex with a BBW, and insinuated a "hookup" to do so. While his comments were straightforward, they weren't graphic. He was flamed unmercilessly for his comments.
> 
> ...



To your first question..yes..its run by bbw's so of course they are going to get more latitude in regards to their posts..and for your second question yes fa's say more stupid stuff because they are totally horny and usually horny people say stupid stuff.

Looking back at my first post..even i sounded a little creepy..ok i still sound creepy but im a female fa and i can get away with it..muhahaha


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## Mini (Sep 7, 2009)

I think that FAs, for whatever reason, tend to be more socially awkward, full stop. (Exhibit A, right here.) This leads them to saying shit that just doesn't fly with everyone. 

Go ahead, tell me I'm wrong.


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## The Orange Mage (Sep 9, 2009)

I found a way around that roadbump by only approaching people who appear to be as weird as I am. Once I can confirm that then I make the move and tell upfront that I'm an FA, she's cute as heck, and there's a nice big boner in her future if she so pleases. Only tried this method once and it worked great as my cute little weirdo and I have been together for a loooong long time now.

Also, did I just prove Mini's point?


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## marlowegarp (Sep 9, 2009)

Ladies get more "bye" on Dims. No doubt.


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## Tad (Sep 9, 2009)

marlowegarp said:


> Ladies get more "bye" on Dims. No doubt.



I think that is either too broad or too narrow of a statement. 

I'd agree that in general the women here are probably more dubious of the motives and morals of the men on here than of the other women on here--but that is not just a Dimensions thing, that is pretty common throughout society, and given the behavior of some guys in particular and attitudes of many of us in general, I can't argue with them too much. Heck, push comes to shove, I'm probably more dubious of other guys here than of women too.

On the other hand, I've certainly seen some women here take a beating on the boards. There are some issues, and anyone who has been around for long knows what they generally are, where the discussions often get slanted as good, decent, people versus twisted, damaged, or deluded people. If you come in on the latter side, IMO you'll take your lumps, no matter your gender.

I would say that there is a cluster of like-minded folks, most but not all being BBW, who have pretty clear ideas of what they consider to be acceptable and who are not shy about calling out what they don't consider acceptable (within the allowed limits of the boards). Whether that is a community service or a 'moral majority' style clique probably depends on what you think should be acceptable on here.

All just my view on this, I accept and expect that other see it all differently.


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## marlowegarp (Sep 9, 2009)

Tad said:


> I would say that there is a cluster of like-minded folks, most but not all being BBW, who have pretty clear ideas of what they consider to be acceptable and who are not shy about calling out what they don't consider acceptable (within the allowed limits of the boards). Whether that is a community service or a 'moral majority' style clique probably depends on what you think should be acceptable on here.
> 
> All just my view on this, I accept and expect that other see it all differently.



Fair enough. I tend to see the mods as the ultimate arbiters of power here. Sassy libertarian that I am I think that beyond what the mods edit or censor it falls to members to just try and work it out between themselves. The 'moral majority' then often becomes as aggravating and irrelevant as the one in RL. We flourish and suffer from our own Bill O'Reillys and Al Frankens just the same. The longer I've been here the more I see that the problems Dims has are pretty much the same as any society over 6 in number.


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## katorade (Sep 10, 2009)

marlowegarp said:


> Ladies get more "bye" on Dims. No doubt.




If by "bye", you mean ass, and if by "ladies", you mean me, then I'm inclined to agree. *giggity*


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## Captain Save (Sep 10, 2009)

I think the ladies get a little more leeway to express themselves, but that they are also more likely to be judged on what might be considered poor form or bad taste. Men, on the other hand, are given less leeway, but are more expected to say something juvenile, offensive, or one-handed, especially if they are new to the boards.


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## marlowegarp (Sep 10, 2009)

katorade said:


> If by "bye", you mean ass, and if by "ladies", you mean me, then I'm inclined to agree. *giggity*



Show-off.


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## mergirl (Sep 11, 2009)

kayrae said:


> I don't think this thread is appropriately placed in the FA/FFA forum. If you're going to talk about BBWs, it shouldn't be placed in a protected forum in which we cannot respond.


Just say you fancied a fat guy once. This gives you the right to post what you want here, does it not?  Though, in saying that.. generally Fas will want to talk about bbws because its what makes them fas in the first place.


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## tonynyc (Sep 29, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Just say you fancied a fat guy once. This gives you the right to post what you want here, does it not?  Though, in saying that.. generally Fas will want to talk about bbws because its what makes them fas in the first place.



*
MerGirl: :wubu:
I have a feeling that not only would the Great Mr. T approve this message - but offer you a heaping bowlful of his tasty breakfast cereal :happy:

*


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## mergirl (Oct 1, 2009)

tonynyc said:


> *
> MerGirl: :wubu:
> I have a feeling that not only would the Great Mr. T approve this message - but offer you a heaping bowlful of his tasty breakfast cereal :happy:
> 
> *


mmmmm delicious foo! :wubu:
So that is where he gets all his energy to punch sharks!


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## tonynyc (Oct 1, 2009)

mergirl said:


> mmmmm delicious foo! :wubu:
> So that is where he gets all his energy to punch sharks!



*Yes MerGirl: :wubu: and Mr. T is also in an angry  Thong Punching mood too. *


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## joswitch (Oct 4, 2009)

@OP - IMO - it's not precisely a BBW/FA nor male/female split as to who gets a "bye"... Outside of the protected "sexay" forums - it's members of the Circle Of Friends (aka - Count Our Feelings! - cos they try to contextualise *almost all* discussions be it science, politics, or how-to-admin the DIMS webboard(s), into a support-group style, in which the ONLY permitted "truth" is emotional truth - and very specifically, THEIR emotional truth - emotions they dislike will be attacked). Members of COF get a "bye" for all kindsa crap... COF (and their hangers on) will attack en masse those who disagree with any member of COF - including and especially other BBWs - employing any means to "win". (You're posting on the web people! - there is no "win". GTFOIA). Not all the members of COF are women, not all are BBWs, tho most of the prominent ones are. And COF do post a lot of good stuff too, especially when BBWs are looking for emotional support / validation, or where sharing of their own experiences is apt. Not all of COF join in the "all-for-one / 'win'-at-any-cost attacks"... Members of COF who deserve very honourable mention for the ability and inclination to disagree with others in a substantive, constructive manner - (even while everyone else is flaming away like crazy) include but are not limited to Katorade, Tracijo, GEF and Fascinita... .... And that's how I see it... Listen! Can you hear flamethrowers being oiled up??


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## tonynyc (Oct 5, 2009)

joswitch said:


> @OP - IMO - it's not precisely a BBW/FA nor male/female split as to who gets a "bye"... Outside of the protected "sexay" forums - it's members of the Circle Of Friends (aka - Count Our Feelings! - cos they try to contextualise *almost all* discussions be it science, politics, or how-to-admin the DIMS webboard(s), into a support-group style, in which the ONLY permitted "truth" is emotional truth - and very specifically, THEIR emotional truth - emotions they dislike will be attacked). Members of COF get a "bye" for all kindsa crap... COF (and their hangers on) will attack en masse those who disagree with any member of COF - including and especially other BBWs - employing any means to "win". (You're posting on the web people! - there is no "win". GTFOIA). Not all the members of COF are women, not all are BBWs, tho most of the prominent ones are. And COF do post a lot of good stuff too, especially when BBWs are looking for emotional support / validation, or where sharing of their own experiences is apt. Not all of COF join in the "all-for-one / 'win'-at-any-cost attacks"... Members of COF who deserve very honourable mention for the ability and inclination to disagree with others in a substantive, constructive manner - (even while everyone else is flaming away like crazy) include but are not limited to Katorade, Tracijo, GEF and Fascinita... .... And that's how I see it... Listen! Can you hear flamethrowers being oiled up??




*Flamethrowers Dr. Joswitch??? - not in DIMS* 











_*
Special Honorable mention to our UnOfficial "Dims Temperence League"
*_






*Sarsaparilla Anyone*


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## FatAndProud (Oct 5, 2009)

anal sex ftw


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 5, 2009)

FatAndProud said:


> anal sex ftw



What an awful time to be out of rep....care if I at least toss a vagina or two into the thread?

If not, we can always just talk about my personal favorite: Cock and balls :smitten:


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## FatAndProud (Oct 5, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> What an awful time to be out of rep....care if I at least toss a vagina or two into the thread?
> 
> If not, we can always just talk about my personal favorite: Cock and balls :smitten:



Yo, Imma letchu finish...but anal sex is the best topic of this thread.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 5, 2009)

FatAndProud said:


> Yo, Imma letchu finish...but anal sex is the best topic of this thread.



It's best with cock and balls though....IMHO......

But yeah....that pussy remark was so totally unnecessary. My bad.....:blush:


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## wrestlingguy (Oct 6, 2009)

You know, here comes a thread that actually has a theme that FA's and FFA's can actually discuss, and YOU PEOPLE come in and hijack the thread for the sake of whimsy. Not even subtly........cock and balls...........pfft.

That's it, no more thread initiation for me. I'm outs.


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## missy_blue_eyez (Oct 6, 2009)

Im gonna keep this short and sweet, but I have seen the way some BBW's respond to things that FA's on here say, and there is sooooooooooooooo much hostility, and yeh the lynch mob comes in force, and really, there is no need for it. But when, said FA's give back a little of what some of those BBW's give out, all hell breaks loose! There is such a minefield on this forum its unreal. And Phil I can totally see why you asked the question that you did. Both of the scenarios were out there and quite blunt, some girl wanting an easy ride.....and some bloke wanting some ass.....there is no difference really in those scenarios and both could be insulting, but Id bet that the BBW got away with hers unscathed, where as the guy got flamed! 

I must admit though, I have used other bbw/fa centric forums and just couldnt cope there because it was like a meat market........sorry to name names but Curvage and FF. I have to hold my hat off to some of the BBW's on here that do keep some of the guys in order, because really, Dims is a much easier place to interact. The guys on here know their limits. I very rarely have pm's of pervy blokes taking it outta line or anything along those lines and I do feel that is due to the men around here know there place  hehe....just kidding

Wasnt as short and sweet as Id hoped!


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## katorade (Oct 6, 2009)

joswitch said:


> @OP - IMO - it's not precisely a BBW/FA nor male/female split as to who gets a "bye"... Outside of the protected "sexay" forums - it's members of the Circle Of Friends (aka - Count Our Feelings! - cos they try to contextualise *almost all* discussions be it science, politics, or how-to-admin the DIMS webboard(s), into a support-group style, in which the ONLY permitted "truth" is emotional truth - and very specifically, THEIR emotional truth - emotions they dislike will be attacked). Members of COF get a "bye" for all kindsa crap... COF (and their hangers on) will attack en masse those who disagree with any member of COF - including and especially other BBWs - employing any means to "win". (You're posting on the web people! - there is no "win". GTFOIA). Not all the members of COF are women, not all are BBWs, tho most of the prominent ones are. And COF do post a lot of good stuff too, especially when BBWs are looking for emotional support / validation, or where sharing of their own experiences is apt. Not all of COF join in the "all-for-one / 'win'-at-any-cost attacks"... Members of COF who deserve very honourable mention for the ability and inclination to disagree with others in a substantive, constructive manner - (even while everyone else is flaming away like crazy) include but are not limited to Katorade, Tracijo, GEF and Fascinita... .... And that's how I see it... Listen! Can you hear flamethrowers being oiled up??





Well I didn't get any damn membership discount card like those fuckers over at AARP. I didn't know I'd signed up for a club.

I can fend for myself, thanks. I don't invite people to come back me up. If someone wants to back me up, then they're more than welcome, but I expect it from no one. I also only argue with emotions if emotions are what's being argued (which happens a lot on here), otherwise I'd gladly show you some cold, hard facts. I mean, come on, I was happiest in Hyde Park.

You guys seriously need to get off this whole idea about some underground group of pre-menstrual beeotches that have a whistle only other BBWs can hear that we use for a call to arms. It couldn't POSSIBLY be that there happen to be a handful of people on here that see eye to eye? I can think of two...TWO...people that I agree with the majority of the time in forum arguments, and that's TraciJo and Miss Vickie, and they don't exactly need any help from _me_. That's hardly an army.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Oct 6, 2009)

katorade said:


> Well I didn't get any damn membership discount card like those fuckers over at AARP. I didn't know I'd signed up for a club.
> 
> I can fend for myself, thanks. I don't invite people to come back me up. If someone wants to back me up, then they're more than welcome, but I expect it from no one. I also only argue with emotions if emotions are what's being argued (which happens a lot on here), otherwise I'd gladly show you some cold, hard facts. I mean, come on, I was happiest in Hyde Park.
> 
> You guys seriously need to get off this whole idea about some underground group of pre-menstrual beeotches that have a whistle only other BBWs can hear that we use for a call to arms. It couldn't POSSIBLY be that there happen to be a handful of people on here that see eye to eye? I can think of two...TWO...people that I agree with the majority of the time in forum arguments, and that's TraciJo and Miss Vickie, and they don't exactly need any help from _me_. That's hardly an army.




Ditto. And Ditto (for emphasis )

My circle is a bit wider than yours though, Katorade - and includes most of the "pre-menstrual bisnatches" that josey was alluding to (i.e., those who weren't named). 

The only thing I dislike more than misogyny is seeing other women fighting amongst themselves or trashing each other. As far as I'm concerned, Dims *is* the women. It may have been started for an altogether different set of reasons, but it has changed, and the men that *I* see getting "bashed" or "henpecked" by we uppity wimmenz are men who can't seem to move beyond what Dims *was* (not to say it isn't that anymore - but it's certainly not EXCLUSIVELY that). 99.9999% of the time, when I see someone getting an ... online thrashing ... the reason behind it makes perfect sense to me.


----------



## superodalisque (Oct 6, 2009)

missy_blue_eyez said:


> Im gonna keep this short and sweet, but I have seen the way some BBW's respond to things that FA's on here say, and there is sooooooooooooooo much hostility, and yeh the lynch mob comes in force, and really, there is no need for it. But when, said FA's give back a little of what some of those BBW's give out, all hell breaks loose! There is such a minefield on this forum its unreal. And Phil I can totally see why you asked the question that you did. Both of the scenarios were out there and quite blunt, some girl wanting an easy ride.....and some bloke wanting some ass.....there is no difference really in those scenarios and both could be insulting, but Id bet that the BBW got away with hers unscathed, where as the guy got flamed!
> 
> I must admit though, I have used other bbw/fa centric forums and just couldnt cope there because it was like a meat market........sorry to name names but Curvage and FF. I have to hold my hat off to some of the BBW's on here that do keep some of the guys in order, because really, Dims is a much easier place to interact. The guys on here know their limits. I very rarely have pm's of pervy blokes taking it outta line or anything along those lines and I do feel that is due to the men around here know there place  hehe....just kidding
> 
> Wasnt as short and sweet as Id hoped!



i think you've really said it well. the women here can be a bit rough sometimes but then again often what they are responding to is rough so they tend to stand up punch for punch in some ways. there are times when i think they can do more in the spirit of openess to listen before jumping to conclusions. i always like to give people a chance first. but i know a lot of BBWs here who smell out BS immediately and strive to cut it out. i think there are a lot of times when its necessary to take the kid gloves off. it not only makes it more comfortable for BBWs but better in the long run for FAs because they learn how to be appropriate and what to say to real women. maybe one day it won't be assumed that all FAs are coarse, goofy, inappropriately pushy and hostile to anyone who disturbs thier fantasy because they'll finally really understand where BBWs are coming from because of thier honesty. its good that the days of scared compliancy are over or at least numbered because they think FAs are few and far between because BBWs are: 

a)figuring out that that may not be true
b)we'd rather be alone than with someone who disrespects us

its tough but i think FAs will find they are being done a favor when they can hear whats being said--even to the mean stuff. the anger doesn't come from nowhere. often no one bothers to tell them the truth about how they seem and they never understand whats going wrong. they never figure out why thier partners leave or are unhappy with them. they never can get why women of thier dreams run the other way and want nothing at all to do with them. i do empathize with the lack of experience. but what i don't empathize with is stubborness and the unwillinness to communicate listen and even admit you may be wrong sometimes. that attitude can be really bad when an FA adopts it. so maybe its good to be shaken out of self imposd ignorance even if it is sometimes in ways that are a bit rude and thoughtless.


----------



## superodalisque (Oct 6, 2009)

joswitch said:


> @OP - IMO - it's not precisely a BBW/FA nor male/female split as to who gets a "bye"... Outside of the protected "sexay" forums - it's members of the Circle Of Friends (aka - Count Our Feelings! - cos they try to contextualise *almost all* discussions be it science, politics, or how-to-admin the DIMS webboard(s), into a support-group style, in which the ONLY permitted "truth" is emotional truth - and very specifically, THEIR emotional truth - emotions they dislike will be attacked). Members of COF get a "bye" for all kindsa crap... COF (and their hangers on) will attack en masse those who disagree with any member of COF - including and especially other BBWs - employing any means to "win". (You're posting on the web people! - there is no "win". GTFOIA). Not all the members of COF are women, not all are BBWs, tho most of the prominent ones are. And COF do post a lot of good stuff too, especially when BBWs are looking for emotional support / validation, or where sharing of their own experiences is apt. Not all of COF join in the "all-for-one / 'win'-at-any-cost attacks"... Members of COF who deserve very honourable mention for the ability and inclination to disagree with others in a substantive, constructive manner - (even while everyone else is flaming away like crazy) include but are not limited to Katorade, Tracijo, GEF and Fascinita... .... And that's how I see it... Listen! Can you hear flamethrowers being oiled up??



i can understand your feelings but where do you think the fuel from the flame throwers came from? they didn't come from being treated well and respectfully. and, i can't understand whats wrong with people being supportive of each other--particularly BBWs. i also don't think its a bad thing for them to ask for the support they need from FAs either. its constructive for FAs to say "hey i need your support too". i think thats what is really underneath most of what FAs say anyway. but sometimes it comes out in what seems to be a very controlling and prescriptive kind of way that can inflame. but i agree with you that the attack dog mentality needs to be curbed somewhat. the same things can be expressed without demeaning other people or yourself. expecting the worst of people and always veering toward negative reinforcement does not work. in an atmosphere where people are more careful of each other there is more actual meaningful communication. it IS hard to recognize the humanity of a person who is trying to dehumanize you.

having said that, i do think that what you see though is a backlash against folks who have had it on thier own terms for a long time and refuse to realize it or see it. dims once saw FAs saying and doing all kinds of things unquestioned while supported by BBWs who thought they had to be supportive or have not to ever have a chance to meet anyone who would desire them. they'd say anything or jump through any hoop just to hold someone's interest whether they really agreed with their ideas or not. a place can come a long way in a few years. there is an underlying understanding that sexual desire alone doesn't mean much unless you have mutual respect and caring to go along with it. 

everyone in this has come out swinging innumerable times. no one is clean. i think your right, maybe we all need to stop worrying about winning so much. but i feel that FAs in particular need to stop turning thier heads away from things they find uncomfortable and unsettling and demonizing people who try to bring it ot thier attention. its time to face up to some reality for thier own sake. sexual fantasy has a place in everyone's life but is not an entire life. and its harder to get your fantasy life to happen anyway if at some point in time you can't address the real world successfully. real always takes presidence over fantasy. it can enrich fantasy. it can create an atmosphere of trust and emotional safety where fantasy can thrive in ways that don't leave people feeling guilty, manipulated, used or even inhibited.

if guys are looking for BBWs to protect thier fantasies on a public forum--those days are pretty much over. things have changed. forums that turn on that don't do so well, why? because women don't want to be there anymore. BBWs have more confidence, support and are more enlightened than they were in the good ol days. SA in its truest sense is taking root. so all you get at those places is automated adds to come and visit somebody's pornsite so that you can pay for the priviledge of a BBW agreeing with you and just a few real girls before they discover what the place really does to thier self esteem and decide to leave. i know there has been talk of a BBW/FA split here. i feel sorry for FAs if that happens. if it does i see the FA portion withering pretty much like other forums of that nature have. i think the main thing this forum has going for it is real active BBWs and SSBBWs who aren't just here for pay. even the paysite models who are here are involved and not just for income. SA is where thier heart is too. this is a place where they can also support it in whatever way they see fit.

tell me, do you feel that being an FA is incompatable with being SA? can we all learn to talk to each other in ways that aren't self serving but good for everybody on the whole? can we drop this division between us?


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## cheekyjez (Oct 6, 2009)

superodalisque said:


> if guys are looking for BBWs to protect thier fantasies on a public forum--those days are pretty much over. things have changed. forums that turn on that don't do so well, why? because women don't want to be there anymore.



So what you're saying is that women are people with their own needs, rather than being fantasy fulfillers for men? That's crazy talk


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## superodalisque (Oct 6, 2009)

cheekyjez said:


> So what you're saying is that women are people with their own needs, rather than being fantasy fulfillers for men? That's crazy talk



you are cheeky aren't you? hehe


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## joswitch (Oct 6, 2009)

superodalisque said:


> i can understand your feelings but where do you think the fuel from the flame throwers came from? they didn't come from being treated well and respectfully. and, i can't understand whats wrong with people being supportive of each other--particularly BBWs. i also don't think its a bad thing for them to ask for the support they need from FAs either. its constructive for FAs to say "hey i need your support too". i think thats what is really underneath most of what FAs say anyway. but sometimes it comes out in what seems to be a very controlling and prescriptive kind of way that can inflame. but i agree with you that the attack dog mentality needs to be curbed somewhat. the same things can be expressed without demeaning other people or yourself. expecting the worst of people and always veering toward negative reinforcement does not work. in an atmosphere where people are more careful of each other there is more actual meaningful communication. it IS hard to recognize the humanity of a person who is trying to dehumanize you.
> 
> having said that, i do think that what you see though is a backlash against folks who have had it on thier own terms for a long time and refuse to realize it or see it. dims once saw FAs saying and doing all kinds of things unquestioned while supported by BBWs who thought they had to be supportive or have not to ever have a chance to meet anyone who would desire them. they'd say anything or jump through any hoop just to hold someone's interest whether they really agreed with their ideas or not. a place can come a long way in a few years. there is an underlying understanding that sexual desire alone doesn't mean much unless you have mutual respect and caring to go along with it.
> 
> ...



Gosh, SuperO - I never said there was anything wrong with support!
What I was flagging up is the prevailing atmosphere here that _nearly everything_ must be discussed in a support group / emotions-first style.
Sometimes that's not apt. E.g. when discussing the in and outs of scientific research into starvation....
Other times it IS apt - e.g. when one member came on to talk about her feelings re. diabetes / compulsive / emotional eating...
Even where it's not apt, it only becomes a problem when COF attack people for failing to acknowledge / validate their feelings - say in a thread on science. Sometimes it just isn't about feelings! Sometimes!
Where it IS about feelings - support is GREAT! 

I was also flagging up that when people talk about their RL feelings, (not fantasies) in a place they hope for support - when those feelings don't please COF - then BAM!! the poster is attacked. Including on the "protected" FA board. And including when BBWs post too. If you don't tow the COF line on a whole host of issues? Well you are in for it on DIMS. COF function as the self-appointed moral majority here. Ironically COF are a minority. They just post so much that they dominate the boards. I've had rep from BBWs who support a stance I've taken, but who specify they won't post on here anymore cos they don't want the drama.

I do get you on the whole fantasy is not everything issue.
But I wasn't referring to fantasy boards / threads. 

I also get you on the "backlash" idea. I very much get the feeling that COF continue (like most generals) to fight their last war over (and over) again. Even when the people they are facing down are friendlies!

I don't feel that being FA is incompatible with Size Acceptance, no. I'm able to take a realistic assessment of my feelings as an FA and act on them appropriately. Sure, I believe propagation of Size Acceptance as a political / social / health movement will make life better and happier for many BBWs. _Maybe_ someone that I might later become involved with. Call it "enlightened self-interest". I want a world where the women I love are able to feel happy and at ease in and of themselves, all else being equal. Is pushing to make the world a better place for the people you love somehow a bad thing? If so - sue me!

But you know what else? I don't think that COF are, honestly, into Size Acceptance. I've been attacked by COF for - of all things - promoting HAES on DIMS! Which if you read most Size Acceptance writing - for instance the Fatosphere blogs- is one of the central planks of Size Acceptance.

COF is not, from my reading, a group of people really focussed on Size Acceptance. They have a number of hot button issues that are only obliquely related to SA (which I'll maybe expand on sometime if I can be bothered). And y'know that's OK. That's fine. That COF attack people who are promoting aspects of Size Acceptance? - That's not so fine.

And yeah, I do get that no matter what I say and do on here, or elsewhere, to some people that I'm a male FA means I = Darth Vader. That's cool. It's not compulsory for anyone to like me. And I have the ignore button for all the haters that don't amuse me anymore.  Haters if you're gonna hate - variagate! Repeaters and bleaters will get deleted!


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## kioewen (Oct 6, 2009)

missy_blue_eyez said:


> Curvage and FF



FF? I've heard of Curvage. What's the second one?


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 6, 2009)

joswitch said:


> Gosh, SuperO - I never said there was anything wrong with support!
> What I was flagging up is the prevailing atmosphere here that _nearly everything_ must be discussed in a support group / emotions-first style.
> Sometimes that's not apt. E.g. when discussing the in and outs of scientific research into starvation....
> Other times it IS apt - e.g. when one member came on to talk about her feelings re. diabetes / compulsive / emotional eating...
> ...



You know....I didn't respond to your first post, even though it specifically mentioned me, and even though it seemed like a double edged/back-handed "compliment". 
I'm thinking now, though, that I'm getting tired of hearing about COF...especially since you _labeled_ me as part of something you seem to *feel* is wrong or shouldn't exist. 


I'm sick of getting labeled. I don't PM with other women here so we can all huddle and agree to go "attack" someone. 

I loved Missy Blue Eyes post because she hit the nail on the head. All the women you see here....I'm willing to bet the majority of us aren't here because of the men.....a lot just may be exactly like me....here for the fun and friendship...and that is often time with other women. 


I like male attention, yeah I "chase daddy", yeah I show my stuff in pictures on here, but that doesn't mean THAT'S ALL THERE IS for me....or anyone here. 

Are you saying it's wrong for women to talk about their feelings for a closeted/less than honest person who wants to talk about "feelings", too?
Is the discussion of thoughts/feelings only wrong when women....or a group of them are involved?

What is wrong with having emotions? I felt YOU had your emotions/personal feelings STRONGLY involved in that "scientific" thread about gaining (oh wait... was it really about weight loss?  ).
Why? Because you already put yourself out in another thread about how you think it's "reasonable" for people to ask others to gain weight for them. 
You're into gaining...so you defend against weight loss. You're into gaining so you defend the position of why that's "okay". You're into gaining so you write long paragraphs about why it's acceptable to ask/expect others to gain. 
That's not "personal feelings" more than science in the grand scheme of things? Stop kidding yourself......
EVERYONE has emotion, or desire, involved in their opinions....no matter diddly what they say otherwise. All opinions are colored by experiences and feelings, period....and it ain't just the womenfolk doing it. (Case in point- you admitted it was your own personal interactions with the women here that made you come to your opinion of things.....that's an emotional decision, isn't it? You made a decision based upon events that happened to you....how is that any different than when a woman does it? If you made yourself "unpopular" with some people you don't like, how does that justify your stereo-typing others here?)

I have a tendency to think, time and time again, that some people HATE seeing intelligent, outspoken, strong, capable women snub their nose at the crumbs the world tells them to be grateful for....why? Because those women show others what the world could/should really be like for other women.
Yeah...that's some real scary stuff, eh? 



Oh and Darth Vader is a joke.....all the womenfolk wanted to do Luke or Harrison Ford


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## tonynyc (Oct 7, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I have a tendency to think, time and time again, that some people HATE seeing intelligent, outspoken, strong, capable women snub their nose at the crumbs the world tells them to be grateful for....why? Because those women show others what the world could/should really be like for other women.
> Yeah...that's some real scary stuff, eh?
> 
> Oh and Darth Vader is a joke.....all the womenfolk wanted to do Luke or Harrison Ford



Greenie:

Being an intelligent & outspoken regardless of gender is a good thing. Nothing scary about that. 

Anything short of that will have folks in a mad-slapping mood 







*Nostalgic Gif for ya*


Oh and Greenie Darth Vader is more your type....Luke or Harrison Ford are too wimpy for you


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## superodalisque (Oct 7, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> You know....I didn't respond to your first post, even though it specifically mentioned me, and even though it seemed like a double edged/back-handed "compliment".
> I'm thinking now, though, that I'm getting tired of hearing about COF...especially since you _labeled_ me as part of something you seem to *feel* is wrong or shouldn't exist.
> 
> 
> ...



i'm not so sure that FAs hate intelligent women. i think that sometimes they just get tired of the rage and anger that seems to take precedence over making a point or discussing an issue. i don't think Joswitch is wrong about everything not having to be soooooo personal all of the time. not everything is or has to be a them versus us scenario. if i were an FA i might feel i was being made to pay for everything some messed up FA had done to someone instead of being taken on my own merits. or maybe even being made to pay for someone being fat who does not like that and all of the problems that come with. instead of discussions we often have name calling matches that end with people being further away from each other instead of closer together. i'm not sure thats what either group needs or wants.

he's also right that the BBW forum is protected and FAs are curbed quickly if they get out of line for not respecting the culture there but BBWs feel free to come into this forum with the same attitudes they have on the boards in general. the fact that this forum has been a very thoughtful and sensitive one on the whole should have really gained these guys at least some sort of currency. its not the back slapping kind of place that a lot of BBWs who argued against it thought it was going to be at all. so i think maybe they should be given some credit for trying. i think at least here thier efforts should be respected and they should be spared having to spend more time defending themselves from an onslaught than actually discussing the issue.

its sad that even here they have to worry about a lot of flippancy derailing what they are trying to do. i can see how they'd get the idea that no matter what they do they are always wrong--and someone is always out to prove that. i think BBWs can engage in talking about what they want and the truth and how they see it without trying to stop other people from having that same right as well--even on their own forum. it shouldn't be a problem if people disagree if everyone is allowed to express themselves instead of always feeling the threat of having a thread derailed or shut down by overly emotional escalations just because someone does not approve of whats being said. 

at some point we have to ask "what is the payoff?' what is so threatening about the idea that FAs might work some of these issues out with BBWs or even without them? whats so threatening about them having thier own truth as well? why is it that there are times when people feel the need to stop FAs from thinking about how they feel and what it means to thier lives and the lives of BBWs and BHMs? there is something else going on here other than a disagreement.


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## mossystate (Oct 7, 2009)

I believe I have made one post on this forum, and that was because the boy wanted any and all comments.

A thread like this would never fly on the BBW forum...that's the thing. It would be deemed ' man bashing ', or something created to just gripe about certain people out here, without actually naming names, and hope that it all would be ' protected '. This thread was more of a personal complaint, as it dealt with very floaty examples. Seems that it is not a very fair, or productive, conversation...when it was presented this way, here in this type of forum.

As for how people express themselves. Super, you, and others, might not use the spicy language that some use, but the actual content is many times the same. That is not a judgement, just a statement. I go for actual content.

Anyhoo...my second post on the fa forum. As much as I would like to start a similar gripefest on the bbw forum, I am liking how the thing is working. * waves *


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## Fascinita (Oct 7, 2009)

joswitch said:


> (aka - Count Our Feelings! - cos they try to contextualise *almost all* discussions be it science, politics, or how-to-admin the DIMS webboard(s), into a support-group style, in which the ONLY permitted "truth" is emotional truth - and very specifically, THEIR emotional truth - emotions they dislike will be attacked).



Pshaw. You're dead wrong. I know how to be less emotional (and more scientific) than anyone I know. And I make a real effort to make room for the "truths" of others. I hold myself to that last standard, and I'm very freaking apologetic if I don't come up to yours. 

I've enjoyed locking horns with you, have even lost my temper at you, and tried to make up for it by engaging you in fairer ways. What do you want from your interactions with people on Dimensions? What do you want from _me_? (I ask that because I see you're singling me out by lumping me in with a supposed cabal of emotional "friends".) A mea culpa? A trail of tears? What are you beefing about, jo? I'd consider you a friend, if you weren't so defensive on every other post, talking about "moral majorities" and "circles of friends," making it clear that you have a problem with certain voices being heard here. Seriously... let's get real. 

I _don't_ hold back from expressing what I think and feel--that much is true.

But then, you don't, either.

PS - Jo, I hate to be saucy, but would you like me to start referring to you as COO--Circle of One?


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## Fascinita (Oct 7, 2009)

joswitch said:


> a group of people really focussed on Size Acceptance.



If this don't beat all, COO! A "skinny" FA telling the fat womenz that he knows better how to promote size acceptance than they do.

This doesn't strike you a bit "Savior Complex"?

Lemme tell you, when you can say you've lived as a 300- or 400-lb woman for a couple of decades, and navigated your way through the world while maintaining your integrity and dignity, not letting the turkeys hold you back or get you down, being all that you can be, showing people how it's done--that you're just as human and expect no more and no less of yourself and others than the rest of humanity.... THEN let's you and I talk about who's _blazin'_ a trail for SA.

Pffft. :happy:


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## wrestlingguy (Oct 7, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> If this don't beat all, COO! A "skinny" FA telling the fat womenz that he knows better how to promote size acceptance than they do.
> 
> This doesn't strike you a bit "Savior Complex"?
> 
> ...



I thought this thread had died, but I guess it's sparked some dialogue again.

I can only tell you all what I think, not "represent" for the other FA's on this forum, or anywhere else.

I disagree with much of what most of the guys have said here. I have never walked a mile in Carla's, or any other fat girl's shoes. I've only walked next to them, which is why I try to do my little part in the community with regard to Fat/Size acceptance. I care about people as people first, as fat people second.

My original question was not about whether it was okay or not to bash the bashers. The question was (and still is), is there more tolerance of women's posts in Dimensions than men get? I think in retrospect, that my analogy in and of itself may have sparked some debate about what was more flagrant, and led some away from the real question being asked here. 

Last point, I *HOPED* that the original post would have sparked more constructive dialogue than what it did. It seems to me that only a handful of guys continue to weigh in on topics posted in this forum, and that's a disappointment. It's not because you tend to see the same guys posting all the time, but because no one new brings another sense of perspective that might shape or shift someone's feelings about a topic here. On a good note, it's good to see all the ladies giving their opinions on this topic, and on other threads in this forum. I'm grateful for that.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 7, 2009)

superodalisque said:


> *i'm not so sure that FAs hate intelligent women. * i think that sometimes they just get tired of the rage and anger that seems to take precedence over making a point or discussing an issue. i don't think Joswitch is wrong about everything not having to be soooooo personal all of the time. not everything is or has to be a them versus us scenario. if i were an FA i might feel i was being made to pay for everything some messed up FA had done to someone instead of being taken on my own merits. or maybe even being made to pay for someone being fat who does not like that and all of the problems that come with. instead of discussions we often have name calling matches that end with people being further away from each other instead of closer together. i'm not sure thats what either group needs or wants.
> 
> he's also right that the BBW forum is protected and FAs are curbed quickly if they get out of line for not respecting the culture there but BBWs feel free to come into this forum with the same attitudes they have on the boards in general. the fact that this forum has been a very thoughtful and sensitive one on the whole should have really gained these guys at least some sort of currency. its not the back slapping kind of place that a lot of BBWs who argued against it thought it was going to be at all. so i think maybe they should be given some credit for trying. i think at least here thier efforts should be respected and they should be spared having to spend more time defending themselves from an onslaught than actually discussing the issue.
> 
> ...



Didn't mean to imply that ALL FAs hate intelligent women. Fact of the matter is though, that some men in general do. 

Far as taking something "personal"....naming names IS personal. 
They can have their own truths.....just that their truths shouldn't stifle anyone else's either. 
He doesn't get to come out and criticize people and then get a "free ride" of people not responding to him. 

I don't particularly "beef" with Joswitch.....just didn't appreciate the criticism/lump grouping by the time post number 2 hit the board.....and he DID name me as one of the people in particular he is talking about. 

Get tired of all the constant bashing myself....even when the menfolk do it. It's just as wrong from their mouths/posts as it is from anyone else's posts. 



mossystate said:


> I believe I have made one post on this forum, and that was because the boy wanted any and all comments.
> 
> A thread like this would never fly on the BBW forum...that's the thing. It would be deemed ' man bashing ', or something created to just gripe about certain people out here, without actually naming names, and hope that it all would be ' protected '. This thread was more of a personal complaint, as it dealt with very floaty examples. Seems that it is not a very fair, or productive, conversation...when it was presented this way, here in this type of forum.
> 
> ...



Yep, I agree....exactly how I see it. 
The men seem to get a lot of leeway themselves about somethings sometimes.....

Oh and I really DOOOO get awfully darn tired of seeing the women getting blamed for men not talking. :blink:
Shit, a lot of them are like that out in reality....why is it expected to be any different here? Some of them communicate differently....if at all.


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## kioewen (Oct 7, 2009)

wrestlingguy said:


> My original question was not about whether it was okay or not to bash the bashers. The question was (and still is), is there more tolerance of women's posts in Dimensions than men get?


The answer is yes. But I don't see how anyone could expect otherwise.


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## superodalisque (Oct 7, 2009)

mossystate said:


> I believe I have made one post on this forum, and that was because the boy wanted any and all comments.
> 
> A thread like this would never fly on the BBW forum...that's the thing. It would be deemed ' man bashing ', or something created to just gripe about certain people out here, without actually naming names, and hope that it all would be ' protected '. This thread was more of a personal complaint, as it dealt with very floaty examples. Seems that it is not a very fair, or productive, conversation...when it was presented this way, here in this type of forum.
> 
> ...



exactly, i agree with you that often we are pretty much saying the same things. i don't know who gets the most results or who doesn't. i think its good for people to approach things from all ends. you never know which way is going to work. everything eventually gets heard. but this is thier forum and coming in in a way to degenrate a thread is not kosher (and i'm not saying here that you are). i don't think it matters whether this thread would fly in the BBW forum or not since its not the BBW forum.

as for content, two people can elementally say the exact same things but get totally different results. people have emotions that i feel have to be taken into account and respected. i don't always do the best on that account but i try. when i have a goal in mind it doesn't always make sense to me to say something in such a way that i end up with an entirely different result than what i intended. i hope that even though i say harsh things that people can guage from how i put my words together what my intentions are. having the same opinions might not mean people necessarily have the same intentions or at least it can appear that way.

having said that i think its also time for me to step back and listen.


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## joswitch (Oct 7, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> You know....I didn't respond to your first post, even though it specifically mentioned me, and even though it seemed like a double edged/back-handed "compliment".
> I'm thinking now, though, that I'm getting tired of hearing about COF...especially since you _labeled_ me as part of something you seem to *feel* is wrong or shouldn't exist.
> 
> 
> I'm sick of getting labeled. I don't PM with other women here so we can all huddle and agree to go "attack" someone.



@ you and Fascinitia too- Aww, you missed that:

Members of COF who deserve *very honourable mention for the ability and inclination to disagree with others in a substantive, constructive manner* - (even while everyone else is flaming away like crazy) include but are not limited to Katorade, Tracijo, GEF and Fascinita... ."

I mentioned specifically you and others ONLY as *exceptions* to the rule of COFs behaviour. I ONLY picked out you peeps cos I think you're sound as a pound*. It wasn't a back handed compliment. It was just a compliment. And I don't think it's "wrong" or "shouldn't exist" either... Not that my opinion on it will affect COFs existence either way anyway. I was saying what I see. That's all. And there's no need for a "conspiracy" to produce an "all pile on" effect. Spontaneous group action - happens all the time.

(*UK slang - you are a good person)



> I loved Missy Blue Eyes post because she hit the nail on the head. All the women you see here....I'm willing to bet the majority of us aren't here because of the men.....a lot just may be exactly like me....here for the fun and friendship...and that is often time with other women.
> 
> 
> I like male attention, yeah I "chase daddy", yeah I show my stuff in pictures on here, but that doesn't mean THAT'S ALL THERE IS for me....or anyone here.
> ...



Nope. And you missed that I pointed out that COF ain't all women, too..
And that COF pile on to BBWs too! 



> What is wrong with having emotions? I felt YOU had your emotions/personal feelings STRONGLY involved in that "scientific" thread about gaining (oh wait... was it really about weight loss?  ).
> Why? Because you already put yourself out in another thread about how you think it's "reasonable" for people to ask others to gain weight for them.
> You're into gaining...so you defend against weight loss. You're into gaining so you defend the position of why that's "okay". You're into gaining so you write long paragraphs about why it's acceptable to ask/expect others to gain.



Fuck no! You can ASK! if you like. BUT *never* EXPECT! Seriously go through every thread I ever posted on DIMS. You'll never find one where I've siad e.g. "x SHOULD do this for you" or "You can EXPECT x to do that". 
(And ftr - gaining not such a big deal to me. See my blah on my myspace.)



> That's not "personal feelings" more than science in the grand scheme of things? Stop kidding yourself......
> EVERYONE has emotion, or desire, involved in their opinions....no matter diddly what they say otherwise. All opinions are colored by experiences and feelings, period....and it ain't just the womenfolk doing it.



My frustration with this focus-on-feelings comes when trying to promote / discuss reasearch / articles that are not written / originated by ME. That involve attempts at objective study out there in RL. That's NOT just my "opinion". And is NOT just my feelings. It's something else. Sure how I feel might lead to what I choose to highlight. Still, this stuff, this knowledge exists outside of me.



> (Case in point- you admitted it was your own personal interactions with the women *here* that made you come to your opinion of things.....



Errrr.... What??? when did I say that?



> that's an emotional decision, isn't it? You made a decision based upon events that happened to you....how is that any different than when a woman does it? If you made yourself "unpopular" with some people you don't like, how does that justify your stereo-typing others here?)
> 
> I have a tendency to think, time and time again, that some people HATE seeing intelligent, outspoken, strong, capable women snub their nose at the crumbs the world tells them to be grateful for....why? Because those women show others what the world could/should really be like for other women.
> Yeah...that's some real scary stuff, eh?
> ...



None of the above there. I'm not stereo-typing. My post on COF was waaaay more balanced than you're making out! And I like smart chicks. Otherwise I wouldn't've picked you out for exceptional (good) mention.


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## joswitch (Oct 7, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> Pshaw. You're dead wrong. I know how to be less emotional (and more scientific) than anyone I know. And I make a real effort to make room for the "truths" of others. I hold myself to that last standard, and I'm very freaking apologetic if I don't come up to yours.
> 
> I've enjoyed locking horns with you, have even lost my temper at you, and tried to make up for it by engaging you in fairer ways. What do you want from your interactions with people on Dimensions? What do you want from _me_? (I ask that because I see you're singling me out by lumping me in with a supposed cabal of emotional "friends".) A mea culpa? A trail of tears? What are you beefing about, jo? I'd consider you a friend, if you weren't so defensive on every other post, talking about "moral majorities" and "circles of friends," making it clear that you have a problem with certain voices being heard here. Seriously... let's get real.
> 
> ...



Hey, I singled you out for exceptional mention, cos you can and do debate rationally. I've really enjoyed and found thought provoking the times we've "locked horns". See also my post to GEF. 

No problem with certain voices being heard. I have a problem with those voices trying to silence others!!!! with: 
Ad hominem attacks. 
Broken record attacks. 
All-pile-on attacks. 
Folk not reading my posts (at all) and then attacking what they imagined I wrote! 
None of which applies to you. Or GEF. Which is why I mentioned you both! 

And YOU can call me what you like Fascinitia - but only cos I like you. I won't promise that I'll answer though!


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## joswitch (Oct 7, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> If this don't beat all, COO! A "skinny" FA telling the fat womenz that he knows better how to promote size acceptance than they do.



Didn't say "I know better". I said "I know something".
And when I or others come out and say stuff that's pretty bog standard Size Acceptance shiz - I don't expect to get a punch in the neck for it.
Well, actually, now I do - on here!



> This doesn't strike you a bit "Savior Complex"?



Ok, I do have one of those. 



> Lemme tell you, when you can say you've lived as a 300- or 400-lb woman for a couple of decades, and navigated your way through the world while maintaining your integrity and dignity, not letting the turkeys hold you back or get you down, being all that you can be, showing people how it's done--that you're just as human and expect no more and no less of yourself and others than the rest of humanity.... THEN let's you and I talk about who's _blazin'_ a trail for SA.
> 
> Pffft. :happy:



Yeah well on a whole lotta points I'll conceed to that argument, there.
But on a "hey look at this cool bit of research / article I dug up" thing, that's NOT about personal experience. Knowledge sometimes is independent of direct experience. 
And on different (non SA) topic when posting in the apt thread: "This is how I feel. As a bloke. As an FA. In this situation." I'll not be shamed into silence (again - that wasn't you. You and I had a really good convo while others were busy trashing me on that thread.)


Hey I understand why you and GEF are mad pissed. Like I said in response to SuperO above - I feel like DIMS discussions are conducted on a veritable mountain of cybercorpses from past battles (that mainly COF have) fought on here so BBWs can get to talk about the whole of their experience. But COF is *still* fighting that same battle over and over again. And with the blood still in their eyes - is largely unable to distinguish between friend and foe. Nor do COF distinguish between "here is an opinion / some evidence - have a look" and "you should/must: do this. do that. do the other." - where the first ought to be acceptable, yet is largely treated as being as bad as the second. That's what I'm getting at.

Anyhow. I feel I have "expressed" enough of my POV in this thread. Hopefully all'y'all get what I'm trying to say... If not, oh well, nay mind! I now vacate the mic for someone else to talk.


----------



## Santaclear (Oct 7, 2009)

wrestlingguy said:


> My original question was not about whether it was okay or not to bash the bashers. The question was (and still is), is there more tolerance of women's posts in Dimensions than men get?



I do think women's _horndog _posts here now get more leeway than guys' horndog (or just plain moronic) posts used to, but it makes total sense to me that they would. 

The online BBW/FA world has changed so fast. I think that even just a few years back it was more of a novel thing to be declaring your lust for fat women - by now we've all seen it a zillion times and there's been much eye-rolling. Fat women are way more savvy in that area than they used to be, and they demand more respect. 

Also I think it's a bit of compensation for the sexism experienced everywhere else (here included.)


----------



## Fascinita (Oct 7, 2009)

joswitch said:


> Hey, I singled you out for exceptional mention, cos you can and do debate rationally.



How do you know? Maybe you _think_ I'm rational, but maybe _you_'re irrational, so what you think is rational may only be dingwings and apple cores. 

Anyway, let me say that I think _you_ deserve exceptional mention, too, as someone who knows how to put sentences together. I don't care WHAT anyone else says. 

Hey, where the heck are you when you send those posts via phone, anyway? It's weird that I've started to get this image of you as someone who's always on the move, out in the streets, texting away at your phone. 

*musses your hair*



> Ad hominem attacks.
> Broken record attacks.
> All-pile-on attacks.
> Folk not reading my posts (at all) and then attacking what they imagined I wrote!



From this, it sounds like you might have a problem with internet forums in general, not Dimensions specifically.

Now, please post a pic of your duodenum or your appendix or something. I have a liver fetish, too. thx,

:happy:


----------



## joswitch (Oct 7, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> How do you know? Maybe you _think_ I'm rational, but maybe _you_'re irrational, so what you think is rational may only be dingwings and apple cores.
> 
> Anyway, let me say that I think _you_ deserve exceptional mention, too, as someone who knows how to put sentences together. I don't care WHAT anyone else says.
> 
> ...



Awww... :blush:

This last lot posted from my PC in my studio... You can spot my phone ones - cos I CANNOT paragraph on them so I use lots more of these > .... .... to try and make them more readable... 

Where it says River Gypsy on my profile? That. I live on my boat on the river Thames. So when at home I post from my phone. Though Orange have screwed the pooch recently and for the last day or so I've had no signal where I'm moored at the moment (see pic) which is one of my fave places for soooo many reasons... mainly cos its beautiful and peaceful... it looks a lot wetter and greyer today, mind - as autumn is HERE with big boots on! 

Sorry I can't help with the internal pics. If it helps I have my wisdom teeth still in an envelope in a drawer and those were once inside me - the roots are pretty gory. I could dig those out and post pix for you if you like?

Right - I must away - through fields of green and grey, and clarts of mud and grime.


----------



## Miss Vickie (Oct 7, 2009)

Okay so I gotta confess that after reading this thread I'm more confused than ever.

1) What is a "bye"? Is that like getting a "pass", where you mess up or commit a faux pas and people ignore it? Is it a "don't let the door hit you on the way out"? I'm confused, but then I live in Alaska so we miss out on a lot of cool slang, unfortunately.

I think what the OP is saying is that it seems that women are given more latitude when it comes to our interaction with FA's than they have with us. If this is what he meant, then it's possibly true, but then men and women interact so differently that it's not truly an apt comparison. You're by and large not going to find women posting here saying they want to fuck someone's fat as we see over and over and over from the lovely gentlemen here from time to time. That's just not how women -- mature and immature women alike -- talk, or even think. We tend to, I think moreso than men, see the whole picture, not just the piece of ass.  Not to say that we don't appreciate a fine piece of manflesh but except in large groups at strip clubs (a la Chippendale's) you're not going to see us acting like hormonal idiots. We just don't work that way, by and large.

If that's getting a "bye" then... okay. Guilty as charged. What has a lot of us riled up is that as women we often don't like to be objectified as the size of our ass, or the size of our belly, or the size of our boobs (except perhaps in the Paysite area, but I can't really say since it's not a place I frequent). We like to be seen as attractive and sexy -- yes, of course we do! -- but when we're broken down into our pieces parts for sexual gratification... well... it leaves a lot of us cold (some may even say "frigid").

2) What the hell is the COF, and how do I get to be a member? Is any woman who disagrees with joswitch a member, if they don't debate at the level that he has dictated as "good enough"? Who is he to say? I tried to discuss scientific and medical matters with him but his tone (and yes, you can have a "tone" when discussing in written form) was so freakin' condescending and above it all, he was so mean to comperic, that I opted out. If I, as a professional woman with a scientific background won't discuss science with him, then I'm sure it behooves him to say it's because I'm too "emotional" but the hundreds of men and women I've had discussions with over the years -- on the internet and real life, in classrooms and on busses -- would have to beg to differ on that score. I have an excellent head on my shoulders and while I'm not brilliant, I do know my physiology. But I refuse to debate with someone who's so focused on emoticons and snide sarcasm and verbalizing loud sighs to avoid discussing, you know, actual information.

As for the previous discussions we've had where we've begged joswitch to make an effort to communicate in a clearer fashion, well I can only say that if he wants to be understood he'll make that effort. When the written word is all that one has, it behooves that person, if they want to be understood and participate in discussion, to try to be clearer. I'd like to hope that if someone constructively offered me criticism because I didn't communicate clearly that I'd respond more positively than he has. 

His posts in this thread just seem to be one more way to diss the intelligent, thoughtful, articulate women who don't want to be doormats and who call people on their shit. Maybe he likes fat women, but he doesn't seem to like fat women who have an opinion that differs from his.

3) Katorade, thank you for the nice comments. Like Traci, I didn't realize we all got together and had meetings about posting here to try to drive people out on a rail who disagreed. You guys really should include me! Maybe I should get my hearing checked but I never seem to hear that whistle.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 7, 2009)

joswitch said:


> @ you and Fascinitia too- Aww, you missed that:
> 
> Members of COF who deserve *very honourable mention for the ability and inclination to disagree with others in a substantive, constructive manner* - (even while everyone else is flaming away like crazy) include but are not limited to Katorade, Tracijo, GEF and Fascinita... ."
> 
> ...



No I didn't miss it. The part that confuses me here is that you named me as part of a group that you claim doesn't always make wise decisions or does some "not so nice" things. 
How can I be part of such a group, and I disagree that one exists, and then think you called me something positive? 

You're on an internet forum....you might PERCEIVE some type of "group activity" or notice patterns.....but there is also a lot you JUST CANNOT KNOW OR SEE....so to make such claims about people "grouping" here seems overboard. 




joswitch said:


> Nope. And you missed that I pointed out that COF ain't all women, too..
> And that COF pile on to BBWs too!



I caught that part, too......so why not name some of the menz that are part of the COF conspiracy....errrrrrrrrr group?  




joswitch said:


> Fuck no! You can ASK! if you like. BUT *never* EXPECT! Seriously go through every thread I ever posted on DIMS. You'll never find one where I've siad e.g. "x SHOULD do this for you" or "You can EXPECT x to do that".
> (And ftr - gaining not such a big deal to me. See my blah on my myspace.)



Joswitch, you do understand the correlation a person might make if they see someone repeatedly advocating something in different threads, then this same person suddenly comes out with "scientific theory" that a lot of people disagreed with to once again advocate those same said opinions (and there is a LOT of science out in the world- people could toss "science" for the other side of the argument right back at you if they chose), then that person goes to another thread insinuating that others that don't agree do so out of emotion.....and cannot possibly know what they are talking about. 





joswitch said:


> My frustration with this focus-on-feelings comes when trying to promote / discuss reasearch / articles that are not written / originated by ME. That involve attempts at objective study out there in RL. That's NOT just my "opinion". And is NOT just my feelings. It's something else. Sure how I feel might lead to what I choose to highlight. Still, this stuff, this knowledge exists outside of me.



Once again, you do realize there are probably lots of scientific articles to the contrary.....when it comes to us fatties losing or gaining weight, LOTS of people in this world would love to tell us what to do and then claim it's all about "science" or "health". Fat people walking around in a world that hates fat people....we probably tend to not to believe everything we hear right off the bat...... call that emotional....others might call it good sense  



joswitch said:


> None of the above there. I'm not stereo-typing. My post on COF was waaaay more balanced than you're making out! And I like smart chicks. Otherwise I wouldn't've picked you out for exceptional (good) mention.



Thanks....I think :blink: (see above for explanation of confusion here)


----------



## cheekyjez (Oct 8, 2009)

Miss Vickie said:


> 1) What is a "bye"? Is that like getting a "pass", where you mess up or commit a faux pas and people ignore it? Is it a "don't let the door hit you on the way out"? I'm confused, but then I live in Alaska so we miss out on a lot of cool slang, unfortunately.



It's sports talk. When you have a knockout tournament with a number of participants that isn't 2^n, you can't have everyone starting out in the same round. So, some people (randomly drawn) are given a "bye" - allowing them to start in round 2. It's not really a fair way of doing things, but it's better than people not being allowed to play. Wimbledon uses byes. I can do an example with numbers if I'm not being clear. Brain is fuzzy tonight.


----------



## joswitch (Oct 8, 2009)

Miss Vickie said:


> Okay so I gotta confess that after reading this thread I'm more confused than ever.
> 
> *snip*
> 
> ...



Lolz! @ *not going to see (women) acting like hormonal idiots*. Oh Miss Vickie! If you could see what I have seen!  Oh and top marks for sexism, there^ btw.

As for COF - the clue is in the name - Circle Of Friends. aka Count Our Feelings. And it was here before its members began arguing with me and I expect it'll be here looooong after I get bored with arguing with those members. No conspiracy required -you don't need meetings to organise a clique of friends.



> *I tried to discuss *scientific and medical matters with him



No, you didn't. 



> but his tone (and yes, you can have a "tone" when discussing in written form) was so freakin' condescending and above it all, he was so mean to comperic, that *I opted out*.



That's right^. That's what you actually did.
And I employed a reflection tactic with comperic. So he got exactly what he gave. In fact I've been doing that on here quite a bit. Gosh! folks reaalllly hate a dose of their own medicine! hehehehe! 



> If I, as a professional woman with a scientific background *won't discuss *science with him, then I'm sure it behooves him to say it's because I'm too "emotional" but the hundreds of men and women I've had discussions with over the years -- on the internet and real life, in classrooms and on busses -- would have to beg to differ on that score. I have an excellent head on my shoulders and while I'm not brilliant, I do know my physiology. But I refuse to debate with someone who's so focused on emoticons and snide sarcasm and verbalizing loud sighs to avoid discussing, you know, actual information.



As a professional woman with a scientific background I'm sure it "behooves" you to know what _*passive agression*_ is. Guess what? I know what it is too!! In fact - your passive aggression-fu is so strong I fear to engage with you. *trembles* So I won't. Damn! Now I'm doing it! *runs in circles, falls over* 

And btw - I did have a discussion, in the science threads, containing actual information - with people who disagreed with me (on some points) - Katorade, oh and Cors as well, among others. Quite productive it was too.




> His posts in this thread just seem to be one more way to diss the intelligent, thoughtful, articulate women who don't want to be doormats and who call people on their shit. Maybe he likes fat women, but he doesn't seem to like fat women who have an opinion that differs from his.



^Standard COF defence against anyone who disagrees with the COF line on anything. Sweet. Ta for exemplifying! I love it when a plan comes together! 

*sings*
Oh, let us sit and talk and chew old bones - of battles fought and won. 
Let us sing of blood once spilt and tears once shed - now that war is done.
Or..... Let's not.


----------



## joswitch (Oct 8, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> No I didn't miss it. The part that confuses me here is that you named me as part of a group that you claim doesn't always make wise decisions or does some "not so nice" things.
> How can I be part of such a group, and I disagree that one exists, and then think you called me something positive?
> 
> You're on an internet forum....you might PERCEIVE some type of "group activity" or notice patterns.....but there is also a lot you JUST CANNOT KNOW OR SEE....so to make such claims about people "grouping" here seems overboard.
> ...



COF is just such an obvious clique! Even Inspector Lestrade could find it! And how can I pay you a compliment as part of that? Well, we all know people we like and think are cool, but maybe some of those peoples' friends are asshats? right? It's like that. And I promised myself I'd only actively name those people in COF who've distinguished themselves by being (good) exceptions to the rule. And I can't think of any of the menz in it that have. So score one for the ladies!




> Joswitch, you do understand the correlation a person might make if they see someone repeatedly advocating something in different threads, then this same person suddenly comes out with "scientific theory" that a lot of people disagreed with to once again advocate those same said opinions (and there is a LOT of science out in the world- people could toss "science" for the other side of the argument right back at you if they chose), then that person goes to another thread insinuating that others that don't agree do so out of emotion.....and cannot possibly know what they are talking about.
> 
> Once again, you do realize there are probably lots of scientific articles to the contrary.....when it comes to us fatties losing or gaining weight, LOTS of people in this world would love to *tell us what to do* and then claim it's all about "science" or "health". Fat people walking around in a world that hates fat people....we probably tend to not to believe everything we hear right off the bat...... call that emotional....others might call it good sense
> 
> Thanks....I think :blink: (see above for explanation of confusion here)



Hmmm... You've got me a little twisted here. I'm not saying that *all* the arguments COF bring are out of emotion. I'm not saying that *all* the members of COF don't know what they're talking about - some of them really do (sometimes)! I'm saying that when we're talking about stuff that ISN'T to do with emotion - then COF very often try to drag emotions into it (cos it's easier ground for them to "win" on) INSTEAD of - in our e.g. - pulling up the relevant science. Also, in emotional threads, that COF attack any emotional expression they plain old dislike, stifling other voices. It's this "win"-at-any-costs-shut-up-all-dissent-by-any-means that I'm taking issue with.

And once more, finally and ftr - when I put up info. / articles - my intent is to provide people with information. Often stuff that doesn't get aired in the mainstream. And yeah, what *I* chose is going to follow *my* focus, natch. If the only other info. you've got is from the giant media / big pharma / diet conglomerate then what I pull up is likely in opposition to that. Then it's up to you and anyone to read (or ignore) and make up their own minds. I'm glad you have developed a resistance to believing what anybody tells you on face value. Sad news - you're in a minority. Maybe not among DIMS active posters. but out in RL - certainly.

I can't help anyone, if they equate provision of information with being "told what to do". If folks are as hella suggestible as all that, then I might have a hope in hell of conquering... *cough* I mean, uh, saving the world after all!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 8, 2009)

To stereo-type, label or insult anyone that disagrees with you isn't the best, or most brilliant, of arguments, now is it? 

It tends to give some people the impression that you are insulated within your own psyche/beliefs so much that you refuse to listen to the other side. You seem to be asking for an open mind....when you yourself are not offering one. You can only expect from other people what you are willing to give them. 

If you don't like people on the internet being friendly, I'm not sure how you deal with reality. People are friends IRL, as well. 

Once again, my impression of you is one that you don't like it if people do not take your word as the gospel truth. Few people in this world get that kind of apt attention or stature so good luck with that endeavor 

Adieu


----------



## joswitch (Oct 8, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> To stereo-type, label or insult anyone that disagrees with you isn't the best, or most brilliant, of arguments, now is it?
> 
> It tends to give some people the impression that you are insulated within your own psyche/beliefs so much that you refuse to listen to the other side. You seem to be asking for an open mind....when you yourself are not offering one. You can only expect from other people what you are willing to give them.
> 
> ...



No problem with people being friendly. Problem with one clique of friends acting to suppress everyone else who disagrees. That is all.
Bye then. *waves*
*wipes away a tear*


----------



## katorade (Oct 8, 2009)

joswitch said:


> No problem with people being friendly. Problem with one clique of friends acting to suppress everyone else who disagrees. That is all.
> Bye then. *waves*
> *wipes away a tear*



I still don't know where you get this clique thing. I don't know about anyone else, but I honestly don't really interact with anyone on here outside of the boards and very rarely have any conversations with the women you're suggesting are in the "COF". I've never even been to a bash. Technically, I'm a noob! 

The only person I know on here on a personal level is my boyfriend, and he barely posts at all. The only other people I interact with more often don't really fall into your conspiracy theory, unless of course you think BigBeautifulMe is like the Joseph Stalin of Dims or something.

I can assure you with every fiber of my being that I'm in no "clique". I agree with people I agree with. I disagree with people I disagree with. I will stand up for what I believe in and argue against what I don't. That's it.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 8, 2009)

I PM'ed Katorade to come in here and slap Joswitch around, btw. RIGHT ON TIME, GIRL!!! *high fives*


----------



## joswitch (Oct 8, 2009)

katorade said:


> I still don't know where you get this clique thing. I don't know about anyone else, but I honestly don't really interact with anyone on here outside of the boards and very rarely have any conversations with the women you're suggesting are in the "COF". I've never even been to a bash. Technically, I'm a noob!
> 
> The only person I know on here on a personal level is my boyfriend, and he barely posts at all. The only other people I interact with more often don't really fall into your conspiracy theory, unless of course you think BigBeautifulMe is like the Joseph Stalin of Dims or something.
> 
> I can assure you with every fiber of my being that I'm in no "clique". I agree with people I agree with. I disagree with people I disagree with. I will stand up for what I believe in and argue against what I don't. That's it.



And you know - thinking about it, I believe you.
Ok. I withdraw my earlier allegation that you are part of "COF".
(I would really like it if they have an undersea base, btw, that would RULE!)
I do NOT withdraw my earlier compliment to you re: your ability and inclination to disagree with folks and y'know - stick to the subject, present evidence, argue the point itself... these are all good things and you do them and I give you props for that.


----------



## joswitch (Oct 8, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I PM'ed Katorade to come in here and slap Joswitch around, btw. RIGHT ON TIME, GIRL!!! *high fives*



Tag team! Woo! (Please don't hit me with a chair)


----------



## Fascinita (Oct 8, 2009)

joswitch said:


> acting to suppress everyone else who disagrees.



I think what you're complaining about is that certain people feel moved to post and be vocal while certain others don't.

That's the worst that you can say.

Because... where is this "suppression" of "everyone else who disagrees"? What "suppression" that couldn't be remedied by people posting back and being vocal about what _they_ care about? 

This is a discussion board on the Internet, not a banana republic. Nobody's being thrown in jail or tortured in dank chambers for daring to speak out. And everyone enjoys the freedom to say what they please by simply clicking the "post" button. So where is this "suppression"? Come on. Let's not make this into something it's not, please. Everyone who's a member here enjoys the same freedom to contribute or not.

What you have a problem with is that the opinions of some of the people who do choose to participate sometimes don't jibe with yours. And you're (irrationally, unscientifically) trying to denigrate those opinions by labeling and smearing. Or else you simply have a problem with the nature of Internet forums--and that's not a Dims-specific issue, nor necessarily a problem in the general scope.

Suppressing? If participating in discussions, giving one's opinion is "suppressing," what do _your_ posts amount to? You're a regular Francisco Franco in the making, aren't you? (That's a joke, for the record.)

And what you're implicitly suggesting--that people stop contributing what they have to contribute--would mean the death of this board, sooner or later.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 8, 2009)

Hehehehehhe, I PM'ed Fascie, too. She got him good, eh?


----------



## joswitch (Oct 8, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> I think what you're complaining about is that certain people feel moved to post and be vocal while certain others don't.
> 
> That's the worst that you can say.
> 
> ...



Well, pardon my shorthand rhetoric ("supression") I'm very sure. I've spelled out what I really meant 3 or 4 times upthread and that's enough. 

And no, I don't think DIMS will die if folks start debating in a valid way rather than attacking ad hominem, nor will it die if - for instance a - BBW posts about how much she loves FAs or her own body, and folks don't attack her en masse for doing so... I think you'd see more people participating on DIMS if that shiz stopped, or even just dropped off a notch or three...


----------



## joswitch (Oct 8, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Hehehehehhe, I PM'ed Fascie, too. She got him good, eh?



Are you stroking a white cat in your orbiting sattelite as you do all this?

Not the lazer! please! *sobs*


----------



## Fascinita (Oct 8, 2009)

joswitch said:


> rather than attacking ad hominem



Be the change you want to see in the Dims.


----------



## joswitch (Oct 8, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> Be the change you want to see in the Dims.



Oh touche! You were reading that thread with me an Jes, eh? Very good! You win this round!
*is carried from the ring on a stretcher*


----------



## Fascinita (Oct 8, 2009)

joswitch said:


> Oh touche! You were reading that thread with me an Jes, eh? Very good! You win this round!



Nopers. 



> *is carried from the ring on a stretcher*



Somebody please get this man some cookies and juice!

See you soon, Josie.

ETA: To Phil's OP: I think it depends on the context. Sometimes FAs get more a "bye" (still not getting how this word works) and sometimes they don't. And sometimes Toshiro Mifune saunters in and destroys the movie set.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 8, 2009)

joswitch said:


> Are you stroking a white cat in your orbiting sattelite as you do all this?
> 
> Not the lazer! please! *sobs*



I don't kiss and tell about my kitty............Josie :batting: 


Just you wait until the others get here for you, ti hi hi


----------



## joswitch (Oct 8, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> Nopers.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



No? Darn.:doh: Oh well, as I was totally saying that to Jes in that very thread I can hardly argue against it in this one now, can I? You got me pinned and you didn't even know it... Your fu is strong...:bow:

Chocolate chip plz and milk thnks.

Hasta lleugo!


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## joswitch (Oct 8, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I don't kiss and tell about my kitty............Josie :batting:
> 
> 
> Just you wait until the others get here for you, ti hi hi



Lollerskates!
*runs away*


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 8, 2009)

How about chocolate milk and funyons....since that's what the REALLY emotional people eat...?


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## joswitch (Oct 8, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> How about chocolate milk and funyons....since that's what the REALLY emotional people eat...?


ahahahaha!
Don't make me snort tea out of my nose!


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## Paquito (Oct 8, 2009)

...psssst. What's the COF? And why do I feel like my life's in danger?


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## joswitch (Oct 8, 2009)

free2beme04 said:


> ...psssst. What's the COF? And why do I feel like my life's in danger?



now you can take the blue pill .... or the red pill...


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 8, 2009)

free2beme04 said:


> ...psssst. What's the COF? And why do I feel like my life's in danger?



You're part of it....duh 


Now check your PM box for further instructions.....


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## Paquito (Oct 8, 2009)

joswitch said:


> now you can take the blue pill .... or the red pill...



Since this is Dims, shouldn't it be either eat the blue cake...or the red cake...?


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 8, 2009)

free2beme04 said:


> Since this is Dims, shouldn't it be either eat the blue cake...or the red cake...?



Bite your tongue.....because you know good and well that it's CHEESECAKE....with strawberries or blueberries on top.......:wubu:


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## joswitch (Oct 8, 2009)

free2beme04 said:


> Since this is Dims, shouldn't it be either eat the blue cake...or the red cake...?



Oh noes! you haz exposed that I iz reelly undacova schill 4 diet industrie! mi cova is blown!


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## Paquito (Oct 8, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Bite your tongue.....because you know good and well that it's CHEESECAKE....with strawberries or blueberries on top.......:wubu:





joswitch said:


> Oh noes! you haz exposed that I iz reelly undacova schill 4 diet industrie! mi cova is blown!



We mus fed impooster wit cheseekake til asplode 2 keep hour sekrets 

it god dai in ofice :smitten:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 8, 2009)

free2beme04 said:


> We mus fed impooster wit cheseekake til asplode 2 keep hour sekrets
> 
> it god dai in ofice :smitten:



Kin u pm mi pix o ur beeg........chesscake in ur orifice?


----------



## joswitch (Oct 8, 2009)

free2beme04 said:


> We mus fed impooster wit cheseekake til asplode 2 keep hour sekrets
> 
> it god dai in ofice :smitten:



@wrestlinguy - I'm so sorry that I did this to your thread!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 8, 2009)

joswitch said:


> @wrestlinguy - I'm so sorry that I did this to your thread!



@Wrestlinguy.....I blame Josie, too!


----------



## Paquito (Oct 8, 2009)

We now return to your regularly scheduled program of "Do BBW's get more of a "bye" than FAs do?"


----------



## tonynyc (Oct 8, 2009)

joswitch said:


> @wrestlinguy - I'm so sorry that I did this to your thread!



I think wrestlinguy may be the least of your worries - you might have to fear some powerful BBW grabbing you from behind and doing this


----------



## Jack Skellington (Oct 8, 2009)

mossystate said:


> A thread like this would never fly on the BBW forum...that's the thing. It would be deemed ' man bashing ',



I would agree with that.


----------



## Miss Vickie (Oct 8, 2009)

cheekyjez said:


> It's sports talk. When you have a knockout tournament with a number of participants that isn't 2^n, you can't have everyone starting out in the same round. So, some people (randomly drawn) are given a "bye" - allowing them to start in round 2. It's not really a fair way of doing things, but it's better than people not being allowed to play. Wimbledon uses byes. I can do an example with numbers if I'm not being clear. Brain is fuzzy tonight.



Ah. Cool. Thanks, Jez. I had no idea where the term came from -- had literally never heard it before, so thanks for the clarification. So it seems that while I didn't understand the etymology of the term, I understand what it meant. At least in that respect my answer was right on. I'm still hoping to hear the OP's feelings, once the joswitch dust settles.



joswitch said:


> Lolz! @ *not going to see (women) acting like hormonal idiots*. Oh Miss Vickie! If you could see what I have seen!  Oh and top marks for sexism, there^ btw.



What sexism? Men come here and talk of fucking a woman's fat, something I mention here. That's not sexism. It's _*is-ism*_. When women act like hormonal asshats, I'll call 'em on it, if I witness it. I'm an equal opportunity hormonal asshat hater. See? :doh: [hopin' the emoticons make ya happy]



> As for COF - the clue is in the name - Circle Of Friends. aka Count Our Feelings. And it was here before its members began arguing with me and I expect it'll be here looooong after I get bored with arguing with those members. No conspiracy required -you don't need meetings to organise a clique of friends.



Ohhhkayyyy, but if you're referring to me (or the other women who argue with you), problem is, we're not friends, necessarily, and even if we were, how would you know, if you weren't here. I'm "friendly" with others here, yes. But "friends" Not in the IRL sense of the word. The people that I'm friends with outside of Dimensions haven't even posted to you in this thread, other than Tracijo. I'd like to get to know some of the others better, but we certainly don't egg each other on to post on threads just to intimidate you or anyone else, or if "we" are, I'm certainly not part of it 'cause my pm box is woefully dull. I were to have talk time with Mossy, Katorade or GEF, I wouldn't waste it talking about what goes on here, or even you, sorry to burst your arrogant bubble. There's lots more interesting stuff that goes on in the world, believe it or not.



> No, you didn't.



Yes, actually, I _did_. I tried to talk to you about nutrition and fat loss, both subjects which are near and dear to my heart, but I got so tired of your "deep and heavy sighs", your sarcastic emoticons, the eyerolls and winks and minimizing the contributions of others, that I gave up. People who want to discuss serious issues in serious ways, do that. People who don't? _Don't_.



> As a professional woman with a scientific background I'm sure it "behooves" you to know what _*passive agression*_ is. Guess what? I know what it is too!! In fact - your passive aggression-fu is so strong I fear to engage with you. *trembles* So I won't. Damn! Now I'm doing it! *runs in circles, falls over*



Yes, I do, and I can even spell it correctly.

To quote the man from The Princess Bride, "I don't think that word [term] means what you think it does". I know what passive aggression is, and I know that I didn't engage in it. What you actually witnessed was me setting boundaries, with nothing neither "passive" nor "aggressive" about that, whatsoever. But that was sure a nice job in trying to minimize my behavior, even pulling in some gender-based slammage to boot. Bra. Voh. Good on ya.



> And btw - I did have a discussion, in the science threads, containing actual information - with people who disagreed with me (on some points) - Katorade, oh and Cors as well, among others. Quite productive it was too.



Too bad that I missed it but I just couldn't put up with your behavior toward comperic, regardless of whether you felt he "deserved" it. I felt the subject matter deserved better. If that's passive aggressive than too bad, so sad.



> ^Standard COF defence against anyone who disagrees with the COF line on anything. Sweet. Ta for exemplifying! I love it when a plan comes together!
> 
> *sings*
> Oh, let us sit and talk and chew old bones - of battles fought and won.
> ...



See, this is exactly the crazy talk that I was discussing. Thanks for illustrating it so beautifully.



joswitch said:


> No problem with people being friendly. Problem with one clique of friends acting to suppress everyone else who disagrees. That is all.
> Bye then. *waves*
> *wipes away a tear*



Wow, who knew we had such power? If I'm even part of the "we" which would be odd since I've hardly engaged you -- something done quite deliberately, you can be assured.

So you're leaving? Again?

And yet, how can we miss you when you will not go away?



katorade said:


> I can assure you with every fiber of my being that I'm in no "clique". I agree with people I agree with. I disagree with people I disagree with. I will stand up for what I believe in and argue against what I don't. That's it.



The term clique is used by some people to try to control -- unsuccessfully, mind you -- the actions of others. You're not the first newcomer to come in craving attention, not get who you feel you deserve, and use the old "clique" accusation against anyone who disagrees with you gain sympathy and attention. I've never been to a bash, the closest was Tina's wedding where I met Risible, Santaclear and Shawna, none of which have any kind of agenda, hidden or otherwise, against you (funny that).

Now if y'all will excuse me, I'll get back to that healing thing I need to do. Sitting upright, even on exercise balls, hurts my incision.

Have fun, kids!


----------



## vardon_grip (Oct 9, 2009)

Miss Vickie said:


> So you're leaving? Again?
> 
> And yet, how can we miss you when you will not go away?



Some of us lucky ones get put on ignore by him. I pray that you receive the same gift.


----------



## wrestlingguy (Oct 9, 2009)

mossystate said:


> I believe I have made one post on this forum, and that was because the boy wanted any and all comments.
> 
> A thread like this would never fly on the BBW forum...that's the thing. It would be deemed ' man bashing ', or something created to just gripe about certain people out here, without actually naming names, and hope that it all would be ' protected '. *This thread was more of a personal complaint, as it dealt with very floaty examples.* Seems that it is not a very fair, or productive, conversation...when it was presented this way, here in this type of forum.
> 
> ...



I had to re read my original post to see where I "complained" about anything............mmmmmmmmm......not so much. I'm gonna ask you to read it again, and show me where the post turned into a complaint.

You're right, the examples may have been floaty. I said in a subsequent thread that I would have preferred better examples, but those were the examples I had THAT DAY. I'm sorry about that. In spite of that, it remains a valid question, IMO.

As to whether a thread like this would fly on the BBW forum, I almost wish someone would actually post it. I don't think your contention is correct, Mossy, since most of us are busy fapping to webmodel pics on the Paysite Bored, and would likely never get to see the "man bashing" you speak of.

*drags his knuckles across the room, and sits back in the corner*


----------



## joswitch (Oct 9, 2009)

@Miss Vickie - oh no you don't! Don't be trying to rewrite history on the science thread thing! And good effort at missing the point - this is NOT about me. COF brings the smackdown on lotsa folks - including BBWs.. And it creates an atmos. where only the thick skinned are prepared to post. Your rant about "you come in here seeking attention" is revealing of the COF sense of "ownership" on DIMS (and no, you don't need to be actual friends or have a "plan" to be part of a domineering web clique..) and you're way off on your assessment of what I was looking for when I started posting here more.. I expected the threads I started to be pretty unremarkable really.. I still see those as information provision / tools for fat positive people to employ in argument against fat haters.. I was gobsmacked at the level of hostility triggered.. .... Sorry you don't like my pome - it wasn't really for you... And yes, I do get bored with taking all this arguing so very, very bloody seriously  And on that note: good luck with the healing up. I hope you're better soon. I mean that without any snark at all... In the end this is all silly ass web drama and I'm not sat here hating on you...


----------



## joswitch (Oct 9, 2009)

Double double post!


----------



## Jack Skellington (Oct 9, 2009)

wrestlingguy said:


> Mossy, since most of us are busy fapping to webmodel pics on the Paysite Bored, and would likely never get to see the "man bashing" you speak of.



Passive aggressive doesn't suit you. From what I've seen of your posts in the past, you are better than that. You should be upset at the FAs that perpetuate the negative stereotype you speak of which causes the perceived divide between BBWs and FAs. The FAs with poor social skills are your real enemies and not the BBWs beyond frustrated by the behavior.

So, to answer your question again, in no way do BBWs get more of a "bye." Take a step back and objectively look at the posts and content of the various forums here. Take a look at the protected forums like weight gain one or even the stories in the library. The things written and said by FAs to and about BBWs, which are protected and unquestioned, are often quite extreme. I'm not complaining, because those are the rules. But to see that and even question that BBWs get more of a "bye" here is not seeing the larger picture, in my opinion.


----------



## superodalisque (Oct 9, 2009)

wrestlingguy said:


> I had to re read my original post to see where I "complained" about anything............mmmmmmmmm......not so much. I'm gonna ask you to read it again, and show me where the post turned into a complaint.
> 
> You're right, the examples may have been floaty. I said in a subsequent thread that I would have preferred better examples, but those were the examples I had THAT DAY. I'm sorry about that. In spite of that, it remains a valid question, IMO.
> 
> ...



didn't you know its not neccessary to actually read anyone's posts before you make a decision about what they think :doh:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 9, 2009)

"I'm gonna marry that boy someday...."


----------



## tonynyc (Oct 10, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> "I'm gonna marry that boy someday...."









*Greenie: You are full of suprizes...I always figured for the Darth Vader type. SO...I guess Darth is out of the picture. *


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 10, 2009)

tonynyc said:


> *Greenie: You are full of suprizes...I always figured for the Darth Vader type. SO...I guess Darth is out of the picture. *



Never was into Darth.....but I did have teenage ambitions of banging a guy just like Hans Solo.......wait....that wasn't just an ambition.......nevermind.....:blush: :doh:


----------



## tonynyc (Oct 10, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Never was into Darth.....but I did have teenage ambitions of banging a guy just like Hans Solo.......wait....that wasn't just an ambition.......nevermind.....:blush: :doh:



Who knew that it would take "the Dark Side" to reveal that wonderful wild side :happy:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 10, 2009)

tonynyc said:


> Who knew that it would take "the Dark Side" to reveal that wonderful wild side :happy:



Nah, I think it was probably just the tight pants and handsome mug most likely....


----------



## wrestlingguy (Oct 10, 2009)

Jack Skellington said:


> Passive aggressive doesn't suit you. From what I've seen of your posts in the past, you are better than that. You should be upset at the FAs that perpetuate the negative stereotype you speak of which causes the perceived divide between BBWs and FAs. The FAs with poor social skills are your real enemies and not the BBWs beyond frustrated by the behavior.
> 
> So, to answer your question again, in no way do BBWs get more of a "bye." Take a step back and objectively look at the posts and content of the various forums here. Take a look at the protected forums like weight gain one or even the stories in the library. The things written and said by FAs to and about BBWs, which are protected and unquestioned, are often quite extreme. I'm not complaining, because those are the rules. But to see that and even question that BBWs get more of a "bye" here is not seeing the larger picture, in my opinion.



See, the problem with your post is that I'm growing weary of being better than that for all people, especially those who have formed opinions of me without ever reading my post to look beyond their disdain for me to read the actual question. 

I never gave an opinion on this topic, anywhere. I posted a question, looking for answers, and somehow it turned into a free for all. That was never my purpose, despite others who may have thought so.

Okay, so now for my "opinion", I have to say that I tend to agree with you. As someone who runs events that bring together BBW's and FA's, I've seen the behaviors of the guys as well as the women. At my events, I tend to be harder on the guys than I am the ladies as far as what is unacceptable behavior, so for me, as far as my events are concerned, the ladies get more latitude in what is said and done than the men get. I guess I just see guys acting like douchebags more often than women do, and I'm quicker to pull the trigger on them.

I just wondered if the same thing occurred here on the boards. That is all. And Jack, thanks for answering my question *again*.


----------



## Jack Skellington (Oct 11, 2009)

wrestlingguy said:


> See, the problem with your post is that I'm growing weary of being better than that for all people,



Well, all I can say is, never give up. There _needs_ to be people better than that. In my opinion, when a respected FA, that is considered "better than that," posts something that does look like bashing (I know that's not what your intent was but that's still how it unfortunately comes off) it stings all the more.


----------



## Miss Vickie (Oct 11, 2009)

joswitch said:


> @Miss Vickie - oh no you don't! Don't be trying to rewrite history on the science thread thing!



See, this is exactly what I mean. Rather than possibly entertain the thought that we could see the same situation differently, you call it "rewriting history", as though I were deliberately misleading people as to what went on in the threads in question. You seem to see the worst in people. This is exactly what you did when you called Comperic a troll. And your behavior in those threads is exactly why I stopped participating.



> And good effort at missing the point - this is NOT about me.



Well it sure as hell isn't about me. When you bring your feelings into it, you make it about you. COF is an invention of yours -- that makes it about you.



> Your rant about "you come in here seeking attention" is revealing of the COF sense of "ownership" on DIMS (and no, you don't need to be actual friends or have a "plan" to be part of a domineering web clique..) and you're way off on your assessment of what I was looking for when I started posting here more..



First of all, I seldom post to/about you because you interest me so little. This thread topic, however interests me, which is why I participated. But I really dislike seeing the other strong women here maligned in such a sexist way, particularly by a dude who purports to be a FA.

Do I feel a sense of ownership toward Dimensions? Yes. Yes, I do. I've contributed to it financially, and time-wise, for over ten years, and in that time have done everything I can do to help people who need help and share Dimensions' existence with people who need it. Even though I'm technically no longer fat, and am not a FFA, I still post here. Why? Partly because I have friends here, but also because I believe in size acceptance and I think that Dimensions is a good way to reach people with the message that we can be beautiful and healthy at any size.

Many of the people here are my friends, and those who aren't know they can come to me with health related issues. I have pretty decent rep here, why? Certainly not because I'm witty or urbane or beautiful because I am none of those things; it's because I go out of my way to help and support people who need help and support. If I were truly part of such a cabal (or even a cabal of one, as you seem to imply) would that be the case? Would people trust me with their health issues and problems? Hardly. I daresay my reputation here (points aside) is a good one, for the most part, except perhaps among diehard feeders because yes, I think it's an unhealthy practice and I've not been shy about saying that when asked. Yes, I take issue with certain attitudes and I'm no frail, wilting wallflower. I'm very comfortable with who I am and my contributions to this site, so yes, to answer your non-question, I do feel a sense of ownership of this site -- in that I've tried to improve Dimensions, and the environment for all fat people, for the 10+ years that I've been here. I didn't come here to find a date, or to sell anything, or with any agenda other than to make friends and help where I could. Period. If that makes me the bad guy, then too bad.

I have no idea what you were looking for when you started posting at Dimensions but in this thread you seem to want to pick a fight. Then, when people take up the challenge (_after_ you make accusations that there's some crazy cabal out there determined to shoo off newbies), we're called names. How very nice. So tell me, what were your intentions vis a vis this thread?



> And yes, I do get bored with taking all this arguing so very, very bloody seriously  And on that note: good luck with the healing up. I hope you're better soon. I mean that without any snark at all... In the end this is all silly ass web drama and I'm not sat here hating on you...



Thanks, I'm doing better.


----------



## joswitch (Oct 11, 2009)

Miss Vickie said:


> First of all, I seldom post to/about you because you interest me so little. This thread topic, however interests me, which is why I participated. But I really dislike seeing the other strong women here maligned in such a sexist way, particularly by a dude who purports to be a FA.



Pfft. *I'm* not being sexist. Like I said (over and over^ upthread) not all of COF are female by any means... And by no means are all BBWs here part of COF... In fact I made the point that some BBWs here get stepped on by COF... Which does keep on getting ignored by everyone responding to me here... Hmmm... such an inconvenient thing, truth... But anywayz... I don't see much point in continuing to repeat myself. Anyone reading the thread can see what I'm driving at, if it suits them to drop their filters for a minute. And if it doesn't suit them to do that, it won't matter how many times I reword it, they're only going to see what they expect.



> Do I feel a sense of ownership toward Dimensions? Yes. Yes, I do.



Well, I applaud your honesty.



> I've contributed to it financially, and time-wise, for over ten years, and in that time have done everything I can do to help people who need help and share Dimensions' existence with people who need it. Even though I'm technically no longer fat, and am not a FFA, I still post here. Why? Partly because I have friends here, but also because I believe in size acceptance and I think that Dimensions is a good way to reach people with the message that we can be beautiful and healthy at any size.
> 
> Many of the people here are my friends, and those who aren't know they can come to me with health related issues. I have pretty decent rep here, why? Certainly not because I'm witty or urbane or beautiful because I am none of those things; it's because I go out of my way to help and support people who need help and support. If I were truly part of such a cabal (or even a cabal of one, as you seem to imply) would that be the case? Would people trust me with their health issues and problems? Hardly. I daresay my reputation here (points aside) is a good one, for the most part, except perhaps among diehard feeders because yes, I think it's an unhealthy practice and I've not been shy about saying that when asked. Yes, I take issue with certain attitudes and I'm no frail, wilting wallflower. I'm very comfortable with who I am and my contributions to this site, so yes, to answer your non-question, I do feel a sense of ownership of this site -- in that I've tried to improve Dimensions, and the environment for all fat people, for the 10+ years that I've been here. I didn't come here to find a date, or to sell anything, or with any agenda other than to make friends and help where I could. Period. If that makes me the bad guy, then too bad.
> 
> I have no idea what you were looking for when you started posting at Dimensions but in this thread you seem to want to pick a fight. Then, when people take up the challenge (_after_ you make accusations that there's some *crazy* cabal out there determined to shoo off newbies), we're called names. How very nice. So tell me, what were your intentions vis a vis this thread?



Hey, I never called you (or COF) crazy. Or a cabal (great word by the way, such sinister overtones!). And no it's not just you! And why wouldn't people who were part of your clique trust you? And you definitely have an agenda, as is partly revealed in your responses to me here, where you miss / twist my points to suit your argument. And y'know that's OK (the having an agenda, that is, not the twisting). I can understand that. Does that make you the bad guy? Nope. Just makes you like everyone else. Not better, not worse. Which is of course my actual point. That yeah, COF should get to express, but not to effectively censor / silence others.

My intentions in this thread? To answer wrestlinguy's OP, with my p.o.v. That it'd rub some folks up the wrong way, while other folks have agreed with me (off board) I expected. I'm hoping that some of those folk who fear to post on DIMS might begin posting a bit more often...



> Thanks, I'm doing better.



Good stuff! Long may that continue... 

Ok, I'm going to let you have the last word here, Miss Vickie. I think I've laid out what I'm saying pretty clearly in the last n pages and that'll do for me in this thread....


----------



## katorade (Oct 11, 2009)

Okay, so who ARE the members of this COF?


----------



## Paquito (Oct 11, 2009)

katorade said:


> Okay, so who ARE the members of this COF?



Even though we got sidetracked when I asked this, I'd really like to know too, cuz when I looked it up on UrbanDictionary, I got...

well, not the answer I was looking for.


----------



## Fascinita (Oct 11, 2009)

katorade said:


> Okay, so who ARE the members of this COF?



Please. Do not feed the trollish behavior.


----------



## joswitch (Oct 11, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> Please. Do not feed the trollish behavior.



Fol-de-rol 

(joke)


----------



## Fascinita (Oct 11, 2009)

All right! That's it! I'm coming over there right now and....




































...bringing some coffee and donuts.


----------



## Miss Vickie (Oct 11, 2009)

joswitch said:


> Pfft. *I'm* not being sexist. Like I said (over and over^ upthread) not all of COF are female by any means... And by no means are all BBWs here part of COF... In fact I made the point that some BBWs here get stepped on by COF... Which does keep on getting ignored by everyone responding to me here... Hmmm... such an inconvenient thing, truth... But anywayz... I don't see much point in continuing to repeat myself. Anyone reading the thread can see what I'm driving at, if it suits them to drop their filters for a minute. And if it doesn't suit them to do that, it won't matter how many times I reword it, they're only going to see what they expect.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



That whizzing sound? Was my point going right on by.

Zoom.


----------



## Santaclear (Oct 11, 2009)

My two cents, Jos. This "COF" thing you're going on and on about is pure whine on your end. People here really shouldn't be friends with each other? People's voices are being censored and silenced? You do post a lot and you get plenty of responses. And yet you're being silenced? 



joswitch said:


> Pfft. *I'm* not being sexist. Like I said (over and over^ upthread) not all of COF are female by any means... And by no means are all BBWs here part of COF... In fact I made the point that some BBWs here get stepped on by COF... Which does keep on getting ignored by everyone responding to me here... Hmmm... such an inconvenient thing, truth...
> 
> Hey, I never called you (or COF) crazy. Or a cabal (great word by the way, such sinister overtones!). And no it's not just you! And why wouldn't people who were part of your clique trust you? And you definitely have an agenda, as is partly revealed in your responses to me here, where you miss / twist my points to suit your argument. And y'know that's OK (the having an agenda, that is, not the twisting). I can understand that. Does that make you the bad guy? Nope. Just makes you like everyone else. Not better, not worse. Which is of course my actual point. That yeah, COF should get to express, but not to effectively censor / silence others.


----------



## Miss Vickie (Oct 11, 2009)

Santaclear said:


> My two cents, Jos. This "COF" thing you're going on and on about is pure whine on your end. People here really shouldn't be friends with each other? People's voices are being censored and silenced? You do post a lot and you get plenty of responses. And yet you're being silenced?



Yeah I guess I thought we were all adults here and that since no one is (to my knowledge) holding a gun to anyone's head, telling them not to post, people will do as they wish. I'd love to have the kind of power he's ascribing to... who? he's never actually clear as to who he's referring to with the COF, although I suppose I'm a member (boohoo).... 

Actually, no. No, I wouldn't want that kind of power. I have no wish to silence anyone, to censor anyone's posts, or to intimidate or shame anyone (as if I could -- my own kids don't listen to me, why would anyone here?) What I refuse to do, however, is watch anyone -- but particularly women -- belittled for speaking their mind. It's so convenient, isn't it, to use terms like "emotional" and "clique" when women dare speak up, or worse, support each other. Oh, the horror! 

Oh and by the way, joswitch? I'm approached for advice on very personal and serious health matters nearly every day at Dimensions by people I don't know, and even people who I've had quite vigorous arguments with. So, so much for people "in my clique" being the only ones to trust my judgment. Something about professional credentials, I suppose. But hey, way to minimize my participation here. Go, you!


----------



## tonynyc (Oct 11, 2009)

Santaclear said:


> My two cents, Jos. This "COF" thing you're going on and on about is pure whine on your end. People here really shouldn't be friends with each other? People's voices are being censored and silenced? You do post a lot and you get plenty of responses. And yet you're being silenced?




SantaClear: There is no whining in Dims and this thread ... Only....

*Tasty Sandwiches* :eat2:







*Giant Hotdogs * :eat2:


----------



## mergirl (Oct 12, 2009)

tonynyc said:


> SantaClear: There is no whining in Dims and this thread ... Only....
> 
> *Tasty Sandwiches* :eat2:
> 
> ...


ming!! Not more alive meat!! That sandwhich could take a bite out of YOU ..wocka wocka!!!!!


----------



## tonynyc (Oct 12, 2009)

mergirl said:


> ming!! Not more alive meat!! That sandwhich could take a bite out of YOU ..wocka wocka!!!!!



_
Ahh but MerGirl we all know of a certain "Shark Punching" mysterious celebrity who can lay the "Hammer Down" on this Mighty Meat Sandwich at any moment 
_







_
Maybe the love will be shown for these FootLongs.... 
_


----------



## katorade (Oct 12, 2009)

Does the Mr. T stuff really need to pop up in every thread? Really? _Really?_


----------



## tonynyc (Oct 12, 2009)

Depends....


----------



## rainyday (Oct 12, 2009)

katorade said:


> Does the Mr. T stuff really need to pop up in every thread? Really? _Really?_



Use the ignore function, Katorade. I used it for the first time today and it solves the problem. 

Sorry I will miss the rest of what you say, Tony, but I couldn't take all the pictures anymore.


----------



## tonynyc (Oct 12, 2009)

rainyday said:


> Use the ignore function, Katorade. I used it for the first time today and it solves the problem.
> 
> Sorry I will miss the rest of what you say, Tony, but I couldn't take all the pictures anymore.



Have a nice day - enjoy your Ignore button


----------



## mergirl (Oct 12, 2009)

Foo!!!!


----------



## tonynyc (Oct 12, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Foo!!!!



*MerGirl: Blah to Foo!!!!*


----------



## KHayes666 (Oct 19, 2009)

tonynyc said:


> Have a nice day - enjoy your Ignore button


----------



## tonynyc (Oct 19, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


>



Kevin : I didn't even see that one coming- definitely worth the "Mankind Rep" which is coming your way. I needed a good "Monday TNA Laugh" :happy:


----------



## KittyKitten (Oct 19, 2009)

wrestlingguy said:


> Someone brought this up to me in a recent conversation. I don't have much of an opinion (yet.....you all know I will at some point), but I'd like to hear some feedback from everyone else.
> 
> The scenario that was described is as follows (and it happened in another forum, not here). Essentially, this fellow posted something concerning anal sex with a BBW, and insinuated a "hookup" to do so. While his comments were straightforward, they weren't graphic. He was flamed unmercilessly for his comments.
> 
> ...



_
Surely there is a large double standard on this board. I myself got dragged into a fight on here because I mentioned something about gay fashion designers. One poster barked at me and pulled the race card.

I think certain posters on here are extremely sensitive, vindictive, and have low self esteem. That is why certain members on here react with vile to innocuous posts. 

These same females claim they want honesty in men, yet bitch and moan when they get just that. 

They cry for not being acknowledged sexually, yet throw a fit once a man sees them as sexual beings. 


Not all curvy/bbw women are like this, and don't let that experience ruin it for you. Some of us are very secure in our bodies and know we can get men at the drop of a hat. _


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## tonynyc (Oct 19, 2009)

happyface83 said:


> _
> Surely there is a large double standard on this board. I myself got dragged into a fight on here because I mentioned something about gay fashion designers. One poster barked at me and pulled the race card.
> 
> I think certain posters on here are extremely sensitive, vindictive, and have low self esteem. That is why certain members on here react with vile to innocuous posts.
> ...



Double Standards HappyFace83 -why there is none of that here -not even a COF or Temperence League


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## KittyKitten (Oct 19, 2009)

tonynyc said:


> Double Standards HappyFace83 -why there is none of that here -not even a COF or Temperence League



_I love you, tony. You make me smile. For the most part, most of the ladies on here are cool but then you have your certain instigating posters........_


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## tonynyc (Oct 19, 2009)

happyface83 said:


> _I love you, tony. You make me smile. For the most part, most of the ladies on here are cool but then you have your certain instigating posters........_



I'm glad I can bring a smile- this just makes me in a Mr. T Shark Punching Mood :happy:

At the end of the Day you have to make the Dims experience a Happy One for you - can't please everyone u know - even with the most level headed thread....


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## KittyKitten (Oct 20, 2009)

tonynyc said:


> I'm glad I can bring a smile- this just makes me in a Mr. T Shark Punching Mood :happy:
> 
> At the end of the Day you have to make the Dims experience a Happy One for you - can't please everyone u know - even with the most level headed thread....



_I was always in a good mood when I joined this board until today. It's ridiculous how oversensitive and instigating people can be on here. But thanks. _


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 20, 2009)

Not that I have anything against watching a good, drama-riddled hissy fit/cat or dog fight ... but isn't it bad form to drag it into another thread, where your sparring partner may not see it? Happyface, I saw what went on in the Barbie's Cankles thread and gotta say, you appear to have given as good as you got.


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## KittyKitten (Oct 20, 2009)

TraciJo67 said:


> Not that I have anything against watching a good, drama-riddled hissy fit/cat or dog fight ... but isn't it bad form to drag it into another thread, where your sparring partner may not see it? Happyface, I saw what went on in the Barbie's Cankles thread and gotta say, you appear to have given as good as you got.




_Being a Cancerian, we love hard, but we never attack someone personally unless they attack us first. Cancer rule #1- Dont blank with us or you will get blanked up. LOL! _


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## mergirl (Oct 20, 2009)

tonynyc said:


> I'm glad I can bring a smile- this just makes me in a Mr. T Shark Punching Mood :happy:
> 
> At the end of the Day you have to make the Dims experience a Happy One for you - can't please everyone u know - even with the most level headed thread....


Whoo hoo!! Go Mr T go!! ...*Hmm.. wonders if Mr T prefers punching sharks with big bottoms??..*


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## The Fez (Oct 20, 2009)

happyface83 said:


> These same females claim they want honesty in men, yet bitch and moan when they get just that.



This does happen. Alot. Sometimes because the bloke is being a dick, or going too far with something, or generally making an arse of himself, but some women, like some men on here, are just mental.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 20, 2009)

The Fez said:


> This does happen. Alot. Sometimes because the bloke is being a dick, or going too far with something, or generally making an arse of himself, but some women, like some men on here, are just mental.



I just had a good chuckle at the thought of exactly which woman you were calling mental in your post


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## tonynyc (Oct 21, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Whoo hoo!! Go Mr T go!! ...*Hmm.. wonders if Mr T prefers punching sharks with big bottoms??..*



Hmmm - Mr. T may have to plead the 5th- he wouldn't want his punches to be objectified and be under the scrutiny of the COF would you


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## KHayes666 (Oct 21, 2009)

tonynyc said:


> Hmmm - Mr. T may have to plead the 5th- he wouldn't want his punches to be objectified and be under the scrutiny of the COF would you


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## tonynyc (Oct 21, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


>



Kevin: you've captured that rare moment... Mr. T building the rage to punch out all sharks big bottoms or not :happy:


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## The Fez (Oct 21, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I just had a good chuckle at the thought of exactly which woman you were calling mental in your post



I shall let people make their own assumptions!


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## Weirdo890 (Oct 21, 2009)

Spanky said:


> Interesting question, Phil.
> 
> I think that with all of the shit BBWs have to deal with OUTSIDE of this forum, they tend to react a little more strongly to some of the ass-hat-ery that comes from any and all posters. Others might view it as being henpecking, moral policing or just plain old ganging up. I think BBWs deserve a pretty damn clean nest more than FAs deserve to hang around smelling it up with stupid comments.
> 
> ...



I have to say I agree with that. It all depends on what the situation. If it's here on Dims, perhaps. Out in the real world, I would say not. BBWs catch much more crap out in the real world.


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## Inhibited (Oct 30, 2009)

I haven't read everyones comments, but my answer to the question is a simple YES!....


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## Russ2d (Oct 30, 2009)

wrestlingguy said:


> Someone brought this up to me in a recent conversation. I don't have much of an opinion (yet.....you all know I will at some point), but I'd like to hear some feedback from everyone else.
> 
> The scenario that was described is as follows (and it happened in another forum, not here). Essentially, this fellow posted something concerning anal sex with a BBW, and insinuated a "hookup" to do so. While his comments were straightforward, they weren't graphic. He was flamed unmercilessly for his comments.
> 
> ...




I would say it's both, BBW's are given more latitude and some select FAs say a lot of dumb stuff which maybe sensitizes others to overreact with other FAs.


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## joswitch (Oct 30, 2009)

The Fez said:


> I shall let people make their own assumptions!



They will anyway, so you might as well just go with the flow!


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## tonynyc (Oct 30, 2009)

joswitch said:


> They will anyway, so you might as well just go with the flow!



*The question now Joswitch is "Who is They" ?  *







*
COF? 
Temperence League?
Dims Glee Club?
*


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## KHayes666 (Oct 30, 2009)

tonynyc said:


> *The question now Joswitch is "Who is They" ?  *
> 
> 
> 
> ...



best quote comes at the very end after Piper destroys the....thing.

"Hey Mary ya look like shit!"


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## tonynyc (Oct 30, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> best quote comes at the very end after Piper destroys the....thing.
> 
> "Hey Mary ya look like shit!"



*
Kevin:
that is the great movie and don't forget the finger....












Roddy was never one to go with the Flow- 
Dims Trio - Dims Quartet - Temperence League - Glee Cub...
You add Mr. T and the Shark Punch and you have to Dynamic Duo for sure
* :happy:


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