# name a musician and i'll tell you why they're horrible



## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

this is _in fun_ so don't post your favorite band and get pissy when i say why they're horrible

go


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## Ash (May 9, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> this is _in fun_ so don't post your favorite band and get pissy when i say why they're horrible
> 
> go



dan. ex. machina.


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

Ashley said:


> dan. ex. machina.



posts on dimensions


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## Ash (May 9, 2009)

I'll agree.


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## Wild Zero (May 9, 2009)

I loved when David Thorpe turned a similar thread into an awesome column.

So unload on M.I.A. for me.


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## BTB (May 9, 2009)

And I want the truth about Led Zeppelin


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

Wild Zero said:


> I loved when David Thorpe turned a similar thread into an awesome column.
> 
> So unload on M.I.A. for me.



exploits her father's terrorist connection in every song and started that awful indiegirl neckerchief craze



BTB said:


> And I want the truth about Led Zeppelin



got one bad rolling stone review and blew it out into THE ESTABLISHMENT IS AGAINST US


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## Wild Zero (May 9, 2009)

Animal Collective


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## MasterShake (May 9, 2009)

The Killers.


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## darthplump (May 9, 2009)

Mike Patton


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## Blackjack (May 9, 2009)

Green Day.


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## swamptoad (May 9, 2009)

Charles Mingus


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## Adamantoise (May 9, 2009)

Johann Sebastian Bach.


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## BigBeautifulMe (May 9, 2009)

The Violent Femmes.


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

Wild Zero said:


> Animal Collective



oh god where to begin.

supposedly "arty" but all their album covers are fucking hideous.

released a song called "lion in a coma" this year (geddit)

dave portner changed his name to "avey tare" because he took his name davey and _tore_ off the 'd'

released an entire ep to celebrate the creation of a song that goes "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PEEEEEEEEEOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPLE" for six minutes. what else is on the ep? a live version of the song.



MasterShake said:


> The Killers.



pussied out on the rhyme scheme in "mr. brightside": "now i'm going to bed/and my stomach is _sick_/and it's all in my head/but she's touching his...chest?" fuck that.



Blackjack said:


> Green Day.



deepest act of protest was encouraging kids to call each other "******" on the worst anti-bush album ever made



darthplump said:


> Mike Patton



incubus


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## olwen (May 9, 2009)

Awesome thread! 

PJ Harvey

Britney Spears

Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Kanye West

Beyonce


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## Seth Warren (May 9, 2009)

This is an old college radio game and some of these are waaaaaay too easy.


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

Adamantoise said:


> Johann Sebastian Bach.



western classical music is schmaltzy tuneless pomp that encourages entitled snooty anglo bullshit in regards to taste when jazz is a billion times more interesting in theory



swamptoad said:


> Charles Mingus



...in practice however it's boring ass elevator music that has become complacent in itself in its monopoly on college music programs despite the fact it hasn't moved a square foot since miles davis and herbie hancock experimented with synths in the 1970s



BigBeautifulMe said:


> The Violent Femmes.



disappointed me and every other curious 7th grade male upon discovering they're actually middle aged men


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## BigBeautifulMe (May 9, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> disappointed me and every other curious 7th grade male upon discovering they're actually middle aged men



Hahaha, touche.

I'm afraid the answer we were looking for, however, were the lyrics to their song "36-24-36." 

"36-24-36
I want lots of pretty chicks"

It's the lone thing I don't like about their music.


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

olwen said:


> Awesome thread!
> 
> PJ Harvey
> 
> ...



pj harvey: made a horrible album with piano and then tried to backslide this year by overcompensating screaming lyrics like "I WANT YOUR FUCKING ASS"

britney spears: such a terrible irresponsible mother that KEVIN FEDERLINE won custody of the kids

yeah yeah yeahs: got the worst haircut of all time and stopped being good musically simultaneously 

kanye west: the difference between him and like stevie wonder or quincy jones is that they weren't fucking babies if they lost a video music award

beyonce: public about her incestuous relationship with her dad yet denies being married to jay-z


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> "36-24-36
> I want lots of pretty chicks"



your disappointment with this lyric bespeaks an ear wilfully ignorant of "i look at your pants/ and i need a kiss"


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## BigBeautifulMe (May 9, 2009)

hahaha. Yes, I will from here on out imagine that Mr. Gano means pants in a size 44.

(and that "grasp and reach for a leg of hope" refers to the hope that can only come from an enormous pillowy thigh)


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## mergirl (May 9, 2009)

Micheal jackson? 
Bet you cant think of a SINGLE thing!
Yay! This post is great. You found a use of your one lined bitchin!


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## GoldenDelicious (May 9, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> this is _in fun_ so don't post your favorite band and get pissy when i say why they're horrible
> 
> go


red hot chilli peppers, I used to like them but went right off them and I don't know why, maybe you could help,lol


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## g-squared (May 9, 2009)

Count Bass D


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## BTB (May 9, 2009)

Ok if you can badmouth John Lennon without mentioning Yoko you are good

And if you are really good put down Beethoven without mentioning his deafness

And if you are fantastic explain why Mariah Carey is better than Aretha Franklin


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Micheal jackson?
> Bet you cant think of a SINGLE thing!
> Yay! This post is great. You found a use of your one lined bitchin!



didn't molest enough children



GoldenDelicious said:


> red hot chilli peppers, I used to like them but went right off them and I don't know why, maybe you could help,lol



stopped doing heroin and lost their nerve so apparently the entirety of their creative resolve depended on a life-ruining narcotic

also their guitarist has a song called "your pussy's glued to a building on fire"



g-squared said:


> Count Bass D



nashville: known hotbed of black music


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

BTB said:


> Ok if you can badmouth John Lennon without mentioning Yoko you are good
> 
> And if you are really good put down Beethoven without mentioning his deafness
> 
> And if you are fantastic explain why Mariah Carey is better than Aretha Franklin



mariah carey isn't better than aretha franklin just richer and stupider

where to begin with lennon? thought lying around in bed would make people stop killing each other, after getting out of bed, wrote song "ironically" comparing self to christ, broke up the beatles to work with eric clapton

beethoven: one-riff wonder


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## mergirl (May 9, 2009)

hahahahahahaha!! Loving this post! its the best!


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## Risible (May 9, 2009)

Maria Callas: what's not to like? Thrilling talent, passionate and fiery, classical beauty.


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

mergirl said:


> hahahahahahaha!! Loving this post! its the best!



my friend ghostwrote the good parts in the lennonpost i should mention


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

Risible said:


> Maria Callas: what's not to like? Thrilling talent, passionate and fiery, classical beauty.



thin opera singer

fail


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## GoldenDelicious (May 9, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> thin opera singer
> 
> fail


I tried to rep you for that but I've given out too much in the last 24 hours apparently. You are witty xx


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## mergirl (May 9, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> my friend ghostwrote the good parts in the lennonpost i should mention


Nice! Also glad to hear you are no plagar..plageri.. stealer of others ideas!!


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## mergirl (May 9, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Nice! Also glad to hear you are no plagar..plageri.. stealer of others ideas!!


Oh, what about Kurt Colbain?
I dont know anyone who thinks he is horrible.. though courtney love is a hole.


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## cold comfort (May 9, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Oh, what about Kurt Colbain?
> I dont know anyone who thinks he is horrible.. though courtney love is a hole.



oh we're out there, i promise. i won't deny his presence in the 90s or influence on a bunch of music i'm not very into ... but regardless, i couldn't sit through a single nirvana song if i tried.

also dan, i have to admit i'm amused by the thread. i decided to make things difficult for you, much like mergirl, by picking one of the most astounding musical acts of today...

nickelback.


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Oh, what about Kurt Colbain?
> I dont know anyone who thinks he is horrible.. though courtney love is a hole.



this is a myth...courtney's pretty destructive but no more than any other drug-abusing rock and roll casualty and in her day was a pretty good feminist. like yoko-broke-up-the-beatles the wide-steeped hatred of her is likely grounded in institutionalized sexism.

as for her asshole husband, let's see, the letters in his journals revealed he almost had sex with a retarded girl and if i recall right couldn't go through with it after second base

threatened to break up nirvana in 1993 if dave grohl and krist novoselic didn't sign over their portions of the publishing royalties

did heroin while courtney was pregnant and left his child on earth


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## BBWTexan (May 9, 2009)

Bob Pollard

Frank Black


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

cold comfort said:


> nickelback.



didn't form soon enough to block creed from millions of dollars


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

BBWTexan said:


> Bob Pollard
> 
> Frank Black



bob pollard: drunken adhd-ridden asshole who's ranted in concert that he's jealous of the counting crows guy of all people because he's "fat" and nailed courtney cox

frank black: broke up the pixies to make shitty solo albums and treated kim deal like shit


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## mergirl (May 9, 2009)

Yeah..i think Nirvanas music is Ok.. but i was never really a fan.. I was too busy listening to shite riot grrrl music. lol.. I think Nirvana were very influenced by the pixies though..
OH DAN!!.. YOU SHALL be thwarted...
Frank Black!!!??
The guy is a legend..nothing horrible about him..
While we are at it.. Kim Deal??


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## furious styles (May 9, 2009)

i'd submit names but i'm more tempted to sit in on the bashing


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Kim Deal??



alcoholic who didn't have to work (or make music) for years because prodigy's "firestarter" sampled the breeders' "s.o.s." and she lived off the royalties


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## mergirl (May 9, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> this is a myth...courtney's pretty destructive but no more than any other drug-abusing rock and roll casualty and in her day was a pretty good feminist. like yoko-broke-up-the-beatles the wide-steeped hatred of her is likely grounded in institutionalized sexism.
> 
> as for her asshole husband, let's see, the letters in his journals revealed he almost had sex with a retarded girl and if i recall right couldn't go through with it after second base
> 
> ...


Yeah??.. what an asshole!. Personally, i just dont like courtney love. She is an attention seeking sycophantic tit.. though i thought she acted marvellously in the people V's Larry Flint, when she played a drug addled, attention seeking tragedy.. though i dont think she had to act ALL that much.


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## mergirl (May 9, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> alcoholic who didn't have to work (or make music) for years because prodigy's "firestarter" sampled the breeders' "s.o.s." and she lived off the royalties


yeah.. i thought.. maby her.. but 
Black Francis??? He is a GOD of MEN!!


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

mergirl said:


> yeah.. i thought.. maby her.. but
> Black Francis??? He is a GOD of MEN!!



god rested for one day black francis has rested for 15 years


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## furious styles (May 9, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> god rested for one day black francis has rested for 15 years



wow best line i've heard so far


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## swamptoad (May 9, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> ...in practice however it's boring ass elevator music that has become complacent in itself in its monopoly on college music programs despite the fact it hasn't moved a square foot since miles davis and herbie hancock experimented with synths in the 1970s



Charles Mingus -- how you depicted as horrible ...


damn ... now I just found out I like boring ass elevator music. 


I still have to disagree ... its not all slow and easy-listening like elevator music. hehehe


check this song out if you can find it anywhere ... I think its great .... you might not though .... All the Things You Could Be By Now If Sigmund Freud's Wife Was Your Mother .... from Charles Mingus :bow:


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## mergirl (May 9, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> god rested for one day black francis has rested for 15 years


haha.. see i dont believe in Frank Black so i dont believe that!
What about his solo stuff?
I went to see him playing at 'king tuts wah wah hut' in Glasgow about 8 years ago.. was pretty disapointed right enough.. but still he was working even if his stuff wasnt PIXIES good!..
ok though.. i shall accept that.. but i'm afraid he was my best shot!..x


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

honeycomb is the only good frank black record

the _country_ one


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## GoldenDelicious (May 9, 2009)

Ok then dare to criticise the king himself....elvis


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

come on too easy: stole music from black people and died on a toilet


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## Wild Zero (May 9, 2009)

Radiohead, get 'em Dan.


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## GoldenDelicious (May 9, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> come on too easy: stole music from black people and died on a toilet


ok, you win


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## Wild Zero (May 9, 2009)




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## GoldenDelicious (May 9, 2009)

ok, now.. would you dare to criticise Queen!


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

Wild Zero said:


> Radiohead, get 'em Dan.



brings out the worst in music critics

"The experience and emotions tied to listening to Kid A are like witnessing the stillborn birth of a child while simultaneously having the opportunity to see her play in the afterlife on Imax. It's an album of sparking paradox. It's cacophonous yet tranquil, experimental yet familiar, foreign yet womb-like, spacious yet visceral, textured yet vaporous, awakening yet dreamlike, infinite yet 48 minutes."


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

Wild Zero said:


>



a classic. MONEY COLLECTING VACUUM.


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## mergirl (May 9, 2009)

Hmm.. Nina Simone??


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

GoldenDelicious said:


> ok, now.. would you dare to criticise Queen!



didn't practice safe sex


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## GoldenDelicious (May 9, 2009)

naughty naughty! that's nothing to do with his music....below the belt mr thigh!!!


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

yeah that was pretty mean, i regretted it right after i clicked post.

here's a better one: queen is still playing with paul rodgers in front because they're greedy cows


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Hmm.. Nina Simone??



blander and less important than r&b historians would have you believe and "oh sinnerman" allowed timbaland to make "oh timbaland"


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## alienlanes (May 9, 2009)

Television

Shellac

Bad Brains


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## swamptoad (May 9, 2009)

King Missile


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## Tina (May 9, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> kanye west: the difference between him and like stevie wonder or quincy jones is that they weren't fucking babies if they lost a video music award



Now, now, the difference is WAY bigger than that. Kanye couldn't put a patch on Stevie's ass...

Cecilia Bartolli (plus-size, though not actually fat -- pick on something else).


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## mango (May 9, 2009)

*The Decemberists

Beirut

Steely Dan


*


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

SlackerFA said:


> Television
> 
> Shellac
> 
> Bad Brains



bad brains: became reggae-gospel-metal instead of breaking up

shellac: steve albini is only good at two things. producing other people's records and calling jessica hopper a retard

television: there really isn't anything bad to say about television. their 1993 reunion record wasn't great. actually no, here: richard lloyd has stooped to the point where he appeared on MY drummer's real band's album.


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

swamptoad said:


> King Missile



failed to screw a babeland endorsement deal out of "detachable penis"


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

mango said:


> *The Decemberists
> 
> Beirut
> 
> ...



the decemberists are so easy that earlier this year i had a decemberists review rejected by an editor for being too mean. excerpt: "Frontman Colin Meloy writes lyrics that betray such maddening intimacy with a thesaurus you want to check his dick for paper cuts"

beirut: classic trope of a privileged white kid making his bread off dilettantish relations with other cultures, because he started sucking immediately after the balkan brass left him behind. also he's named after a shitty country.

steely dan: beat eminem for a grammy in 2000 no one thought they deserved, popularity has sank to the point where judd apatow can put "steely dan gargles my balls" in a movie and know his audience will eat it up


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## KendraLee (May 9, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> didn't form soon enough to block creed from millions of dollars



Love how you got two insults in that one little comment.

Go to town on Liz Phair, cause after "exile in guyville"........................


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

Tina said:


> Kanye couldn't put a patch on Stevie's ass...



kanye tries really, really hard. like ray charles posthumously beat him for the grammy so on the next album he hired jamie foxx to _play ray charles again_ and still lost


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## mergirl (May 9, 2009)

hmm..
'Babes in Toyland?'
I cant think of all that much horrible about them..
'Throwing Muses' even less..?


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## mango (May 9, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> beirut: classic trope of a privileged white kid making his bread off dilettantish relations with other cultures, because he started sucking immediately after the balkan brass left him behind. *also he's named after a shitty country*.



*Last I heard, it was a shitty city... not a country.

*


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## mango (May 9, 2009)

*I never really got into U2.

Please tell me why.


*


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## KendraLee (May 9, 2009)

mango said:


> *I never really got into U2.
> 
> Please tell me why.
> 
> ...



god me neither


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## mergirl (May 9, 2009)

mango said:


> *Last I heard, it was a shitty city... not a country.
> 
> *


Yeah but didnt they used to be called 'lebanon' when they were a 20 piece outfit?


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## mergirl (May 9, 2009)

mango said:


> *I never really got into U2.
> 
> Please tell me why.
> 
> ...


Cause they are shit..
But..exile will.. tell you a better reason!


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

mango said:


> *Last I heard, it was a shitty city... not a country.
> 
> *



fuck



mergirl said:


> hmm..
> 'Babes in Toyland?'
> I cant think of all that much horrible about them..
> 'Throwing Muses' even less..?



babes in toyland: ugly album covers and only one good song (sweet 69)

throwing muses: kristen hersh is a pretentious munchkin tanya donelly had to cut off like a siamese twin so she could live


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

mango said:


> *I never really got into U2.
> 
> Please tell me why.
> 
> ...



stan on south park summed up bono pretty otm: "i've always wondered how someone can act so great and seem like such a piece of shit"

and edge really just plays one note


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## alienlanes (May 9, 2009)

Fugazi ....


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

SlackerFA said:


> Fugazi ....



ian mackaye strained for so long to become the purest person-won't drink, smoke, eat meat, raise ticket prices above $5 or make t-shirts that reduce his band to "merchandise"...and still couldn't keep a band together

maybe he smells or something


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## alienlanes (May 9, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> television: there really isn't anything bad to say about television.



I was going to say "Influenced the Strokes," but you beat me to the edit.

Can you do Burzum without using the word "Nazi"?


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## mergirl (May 9, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> babes in toyland: ugly album covers and only one good song (sweet 69)
> 
> throwing muses: kristen hersh is a pretentious munchkin tanya donelly had to cut off like a siamese twin so she could live



hmm..sweet 69 was one of my least favorites..though i have to agree about the album covers..
yeah..tania donelly IS better..
ok.. belly? I mean even their name is great!


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

SlackerFA said:


> Can you do Burzum without using the word "Nazi"?



i've never heard of burzum but i think it's fair to assume bad things if this is the question



mergirl said:


> belly? I mean even their name is great!



for a band with the name "belly" and the word "feed" in the title of their first single to still not interest me must require a serious lack of talent, though _king_ was pretty good


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## NancyGirl74 (May 9, 2009)

Linkin Park

Judy Garland

Barbara Streisand

Chris Brown (This one's just for you Dan)

(and cuz I'm a Joizey girl) 
Bon Jovi

Ol' Blue Eyes (Frank Sinatra)

My Chemical Romance


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## bbwlover999 (May 9, 2009)

MGMT-Time to Pretend - Brillant Song and artist


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## mergirl (May 9, 2009)

NancyGirl74 said:


> Linkin Park
> 
> Judy Garland
> 
> ...


I was going to say "Dan has his work cut out for him"!! But its quality NOT quantity!!


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## Wild Zero (May 9, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> beirut: classic trope of a privileged white kid making his bread off dilettantish relations with other cultures, because he started sucking immediately after the balkan brass left him behind. also he's named after a shitty country.



Shit, now I can't ask about Vampire Weekend.


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

bbwlover999 said:


> MGMT-Time to Pretend - Brillant Song and artist



not even their best song (of the two good ones) - "kids"

these guys were a band by accident



NancyGirl74 said:


> Linkin Park
> 
> Judy Garland
> 
> ...



chris brown: didn't have his nickelodeon kid's choice award nomination taken away after beating rihanna...i can't really say shit

judy garland: had "somewhere over the rainbow" stolen from her by a dead hawaiian guy

barbara streisand: hollywood liberals are supposed to make good art to balance it out

bon jovi: had to steal peter frampton's talkbox gimmick to achieve their second wind and needed the britney/backstreet svengali to write it for them

my chemical romance: their guitarist worked at a barnes and noble in clifton and it's not a very good one

frank sinatra: sid vicious not only out-sang his rendition of "my way" but treated women better

linkin park: the guy's face scrunches up so intensely when he sings it looks like he's trying to pop a zit with his _mind_


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

Wild Zero said:


> Shit, now I can't ask about Vampire Weekend.



sucked live and the singer looks like screech


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## mergirl (May 9, 2009)

Bessy Smith. I can't think of anything horrible about her.


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

KendraLee said:


> Go to town on Liz Phair, cause after "exile in guyville"........................



i swear i just noticed this

the 15th anniversary edition of exile released last year had shittier bonus material than the extra disc that came with her "bad" record


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## Suze (May 9, 2009)

fleet foxes


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Bessy Smith. I can't think of anything horrible about her.



me neither. i think you stumped me: fat, black, bi, from the 30s, influential. i guess the only thing horrible about her really is horrible: that she might not have died if she wasn't (allegedly) rejected by a whites-only hospital after her fatal car accident


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

Suze said:


> fleet foxes



manson family meets the partridge family

in their press kit robin pecknold bemoaned his teen years as a "little fatass"


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## NancyGirl74 (May 9, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> my chemical romance: their guitarist worked at a barnes and noble in clifton and it's not a very good one
> 
> linkin park: the guy's face scrunches up so intensely when he sings it looks like he's trying to pop a zit with his _mind_



These two made me really LOL. I mean really.


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## KendraLee (May 9, 2009)

This one is in honor of Keith. I cant stand them (He knows it), 311.


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## Suze (May 9, 2009)

kings of convenience

hilarious thread


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## MuleVariationsNYC (May 9, 2009)

A Tribe Called Quest
Public Enemy
Pavement
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah


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## BigBeautifulMe (May 9, 2009)

KendraLee said:


> This one is in honor of Keith. I cant stand them (He knows it), 311.



You can't stand 311?! 

I *love* 311. :wubu:


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

KendraLee said:


> This one is in honor of Keith. I cant stand them (He knows it), 311.



the bass player's name is p.nut and they assume their audience is as dumb as they are: "i usurp you/look it up in the dictionary to find out what i do"



Suze said:


> kings of convenience



the only thing i think i've heard by this band was a magnetic fields cover and i didn't like it



MuleVariationsNYC said:


> A Tribe Called Quest
> Public Enemy
> Pavement
> Clap Your Hands Say Yeah



a tribe called quest: fans don't want to admit the first q-tip record blows anything they ever did out of the water because it's about sex and doesn't "speak to them"

public enemy: said some bad things about jews and flav's clock wasn't big enough

pavement: my ex painted the lyrics to "zurich is stained" on a trash can and i don't know why

i think this sums up the pavement experience

clap your hands say yeah: probably the name or his voice


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## KendraLee (May 9, 2009)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> You can't stand 311?!
> 
> I *love* 311. :wubu:



lol, apperently other people love them too. I don't get it. he'll have them on in the car and I have to go "what the F*** is this". I just cant listen to them. Dan is right there is something stupid about them


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

311 are the worst rappers of all time. musically they have their moments - i like "don't stay home" and "beautiful disaster" - but there is no defending those lyrics.


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## thejuicyone (May 9, 2009)

Otis Redding
Johnny Cash
Eminem
Jimi Hendrix
Bob Marley
Jack Johnson
John Mayer
Kings of Leon 
annnd Duffy

*gasps for breath*


----------



## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

thejuicyone said:


> Otis Redding
> Johnny Cash
> Eminem
> Jimi Hendrix
> ...



these are the last ones i'm doing today

ok:

bob marley: wouldn't let his gangrenous toe get amputated so he died what an idiot

kings of leon: inbreeding

john mayer: new clapton and i hate clapton

duffy: a clean amy winehouse strips her of her only identifying trait; look everybody agirlwhocansing

jack johnson: despite his big war against carbon still manufactures a damn lot of plastic and cardboard frisbees every year

johnny cash: shot a man in reno just to watch him die then bragged about it in prison while guards cheered and clapped; a movie was made about this sick fuck

jimi hendrix: humped his guitar then set it on fire, ditto groupies

eminem: got in a fight with a puppet dog and was so hurt he wrote an insane song dissing _a puppet dog
_


----------



## Oirish (May 9, 2009)

Eric Clapton. I dare anyone to find legitimate cause to fault his work.


----------



## Oirish (May 9, 2009)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> You can't stand 311?!
> 
> I *love* 311. :wubu:



Can't stand them either. They put on a pretty unimpressive show out here in the Central Coast a few years back.


----------



## Oirish (May 9, 2009)

Okay, in the same post you say you dislike Clapton and Hendrix?! 
This just has to be an example of making an argument for the sake of an argument. These men are nigh unparalleled guitar gods! 




exile in thighville said:


> these are the last ones i'm doing today
> 
> ok:
> 
> ...


----------



## thejuicyone (May 9, 2009)

Oirish said:


> Okay, in the same post you say you dislike Clapton and Hendrix?!
> This just has to be an example of making an argument for the sake of an argument. These men are nigh unparalleled guitar gods!



Tru dat... (damn 10 character minimum)


----------



## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

i like hendrix fine and think clapton's a total hack. i'll get to him and otis tomorrow.


----------



## undrcovrbrothr (May 9, 2009)

Glenn Miller.


----------



## furious styles (May 9, 2009)

redding : more posthumous releases than tupac but no one blames james brown for driveby'ing his beechcraft

eminem : see elvis. better yet, see a hot start by an artist with some talent followed by a massive string of apathy induced swill

johnson : should've stuck to surfing, sings/songwrites about as well as dave matthews on qualudes

k.o.l. : press babies that the industry wants to fellate because they're just _so_ rock and roll, sounds more like rock and roll that's been done 10,000 times before

duffy : winehouse with a more magazine friendly face and a less hilarious life. did manage to get owned by johnny rotten, though.

these are all i'm gonna add to, it was fun though


----------



## Wild Zero (May 9, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> bob marley: wouldn't let his gangrenous toe get amputated so he died what an idiot



Or even worse: Is directly responsible for Matisyahu.


----------



## exile in thighville (May 9, 2009)

Wild Zero said:


> Or even worse: Is directly responsible for Matisyahu.



nah that takes us back to 311


----------



## thatgirl08 (May 10, 2009)

What's wrong with Matisyahu?


----------



## Littleghost (May 10, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> _*brings out the worst in music critics
> *_
> "The experience and emotions tied to listening to Kid A are like witnessing the stillborn birth of a child while simultaneously having the opportunity to see her play in the afterlife on Imax. It's an album of sparking paradox. It's cacophonous yet tranquil, experimental yet familiar, foreign yet womb-like, spacious yet visceral, textured yet vaporous, awakening yet dreamlike, infinite yet 48 minutes."



You say that like it's a bad thing.


----------



## DeniseW (May 10, 2009)

Fleetwood Mac

Stevie Nicks


----------



## Sweet_Serenade (May 10, 2009)

Charles Mingus

Tom Waits

Thelonious Monk

Estradasphere

Rachel's

John Zorn

Go for it maaaaaan... :happy:


----------



## mergirl (May 10, 2009)

Can i just say 'Duffy' just did an Ad for Diet coke here. Enough said!


----------



## saucywench (May 10, 2009)

View attachment 63538

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

only

View attachment 63544


:bow:


----------



## exile in thighville (May 10, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> What's wrong with Matisyahu?



anti-weed reggae star

fail


----------



## exile in thighville (May 10, 2009)

DeniseW said:


> Fleetwood Mac
> 
> Stevie Nicks



this band is basically a long-running game of jizz on a cracker and stevie always came last


----------



## exile in thighville (May 10, 2009)

Sweet_Serenade said:


> Charles Mingus
> 
> Tom Waits
> 
> ...



already "did" mingus

tom waits has made more pennies in his career from suing people for "copying his style" than he has from record sales or songwriting royalties. his entire shtick is grotesque caricatures of piano bar jazz and blues; imagine how many grizzled old black musicians would love to support their kids suing tom waits

john zorn is an ornette coleman that can't think straight and refused to take his meds

thelonious monk is hard to make fun of but he's jazz and dead so probably drugs

don't know the other two


----------



## olwen (May 10, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> pj harvey: made a horrible album with piano and then tried to backslide this year by overcompensating screaming lyrics like "I WANT YOUR FUCKING ASS"
> 
> britney spears: such a terrible irresponsible mother that KEVIN FEDERLINE won custody of the kids
> 
> ...



Okay, those were too easy. Snaps all around.

How about:

Broken Social Scene

Gnarles Barkley

Los Campesinos

Battles

Sons and Daughters

Tomahawk

Blonde Redhead

Xiu Xiu

ETA: I see you've already bested kings of leon and menomena so I traded them for two other bands.


----------



## olwen (May 10, 2009)

I think I read wrong...so go to town on menomena too.


----------



## exile in thighville (May 10, 2009)

olwen said:


> Okay, those were too easy. Snaps all around.
> 
> How about:
> 
> ...



tomahawk: already did mike patton

xiu xiu: xiu xiu is the worst musician in the world he requested a bunch of duets for one of his more recent albums and every single person turned him down maybe cuz of his lyrics - "cremate me after your come on my lips honey boy/place the ashes beneath your workout bench" 

sons and daughters: named after a decemberists song

gnarls barkley: kicked himself out of goodie mob to dress up like napoleon dynamite MAYBE HE'S CRAAAAAAAAAAAZY

blonde redhead: named an album "melody of certain damaged lemons"

battles: alvin and the chipmunks find a new demographic

broken social scene: put a bunch of people on stage and the livejournal set will aver PERFECT POP

los campesinos: i've met these guys and wrote one of the earlier lauds for them but fuck it that gareth guy needs to calm down


----------



## exile in thighville (May 10, 2009)

olwen said:


> I think I read wrong...so go to town on menomena too.



menomena: no point to this band. they don't even exist. i will give someone reward money to describe one thing about them


----------



## olwen (May 10, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> tomahawk: already did mike patton
> 
> xiu xiu: xiu xiu is the worst musician in the world he requested a bunch of duets for one of his more recent albums and every single person turned him down maybe cuz of his lyrics - "cremate me after your come on my lips honey boy/place the ashes beneath your workout bench"
> 
> ...





exile in thighville said:


> menomena: no point to this band. they don't even exist. i will give someone reward money to describe one thing about them



Weak! I'm disappointed Dan. You're not trying hard enough. 

Melody of certain damaged lemons may not make sense, but dammit, that album is good. The album cover to Menomena's Muscle and Flo is interesting and the album as a whole is solid. There, that's two good things. Okay, Xiu Xiu is weird, I won't lie, and half the time the songs kinda sputter and meander into an amelodic mess, but come on, Fabulous Muscles isn't all that bad.


----------



## exile in thighville (May 10, 2009)

fabulous muscles is the worst album i've ever heard in my entire life

if you can make it through "support our troops OH" you are_ deaf_ m'lady

you did not describe menomena, all you said is they are good, their album cover is good

blonde redhead is named after a dna song

i know the guy who reissued dna's album and he thinks they suck


----------



## Tooz (May 10, 2009)

Decemberists (don't think they're on here, but God do I hate them. Wanna see your reasoning)


----------



## mergirl (May 10, 2009)

Hmm.. Blonde redhead are one of my favorite bands. Just thought i would put that out there.


----------



## Wild Zero (May 10, 2009)

Brenoritvrezorkre (without googling)


----------



## exile in thighville (May 10, 2009)

Tooz said:


> Decemberists (don't think they're on here, but God do I hate them. Wanna see your reasoning)



already did them


----------



## exile in thighville (May 10, 2009)

Wild Zero said:


> Brenoritvrezorkre (without googling)



not enough Rs in their name


----------



## NancyGirl74 (May 10, 2009)

The Wiggles

Juice Newton

Yanni

Donny Osmond


----------



## alienlanes (May 10, 2009)

Neu!

Brand Nubian

Lightning Bolt


----------



## AshleyEileen (May 10, 2009)

Sweet_Serenade said:


> Charles Mingus
> 
> Tom Waits
> 
> ...



You took over half my list!


I'll add:

Frank Zappa

Opeth

Man Man

City and Colour.


----------



## Suze (May 10, 2009)

arcade fire
a-ha
journey


----------



## Esther (May 10, 2009)

Haha!!
Okay, what about Pinback, or just Rob Crow himself?


----------



## mango (May 10, 2009)

*Stevie Wonder

Ray Charles

Blind Lemon Jefferson

Jose Feliciano


*


----------



## olwen (May 10, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> fabulous muscles is the worst album i've ever heard in my entire life
> 
> if you can make it through "support our troops OH" you are_ deaf_ m'lady
> 
> ...



Ouch, my pride. 

Oh, Memomena is like either radiohead 2.0 or a watered down version thereof depending upon whether or not you like radiohead.


----------



## olwen (May 10, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Hmm.. Blonde redhead are one of my favorite bands. Just thought i would put that out there.



They're one of my faves too.


----------



## exile in thighville (May 10, 2009)

pinback: apparently indie-rock but i always forget they're not some species of emo this bodes poorly for pinback

otis redding: if he'd lived he would've removed the whistling at the end of "dock of the bay" stay dead asshole

eric clapton: go to your cd collection, check the back of the boxes and find the most _recent_ clapton album you own, now try and remember the last time you listened to it

now find the clapton albums you do listen to and check what year they were released

that's just for actual fans those of us who hate soulless blues singing with no gut or inside-the-box guitar playing are exempt because we don't own any



NancyGirl74 said:


> The Wiggles
> 
> Juice Newton
> 
> ...



wiggles: stupid children's music is allowed to be stupid but why is their most well known song a tribute to one of the wiggles' narcolepsy

juice newton: jew nersey

yanni: menya

donny osmond: see kings of leon



SlackerFA said:


> Neu!
> 
> Brand Nubian
> 
> Lightning Bolt



brand nubian: afrocentricity that didn't have the balls to pull the pin on the white man like x-clan

neu!: "invented" the simplest drum pattern in the history of banging on things and the "art" of playing it over and over

lightning bolt: play in the center of the floor right in the middle of the crowd rather than the stage

sounds cool right

yeah if you're one of the 20 people standing around them sucks for the 500 others who paid to see a show



Suze said:


> arcade fire
> a-ha
> journey



arcade fire: dress like extras from there will be blood and are enormous jerks

a-ha: known for their "innovative" video that combined TA DA live-action and animation something so rock and roll that mary poppins beat them to it

journey: instead of killing tony soprano they punished him with journey



AshleyEileen said:


> You took over half my list!
> 
> 
> I'll add:
> ...



frank zappa: testified against the pmrc delusional to enough to think children would buy frank zappa albums

man man: mr. waits' lawsuit still pending

opeth: i confuse them with otep who have a hotter chick out front

city and colour: more proof that hardcore singers are _always_ total pussies underneath



mango said:


> *Stevie Wonder
> 
> Ray Charles
> 
> ...



did you use the sunglasses icon on purpose you sicko


----------



## exile in thighville (May 10, 2009)

olwen said:


> Ouch, my pride.
> 
> Oh, Memomena is like either radiohead 2.0 or a watered down version thereof depending upon whether or not you like radiohead.



i wouldn't give menomena a second thought if no one brought them up

i give radiohead lots of thoughts


----------



## NancyGirl74 (May 10, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> wiggles: stupid children's music is allowed to be stupid but why is their most well known song a tribute to one of the wiggles' narcolepsy



I find it oddly attractive that you know enough about the Wiggles to know one of them has sleep issues.

Now...How do you feel about Barney?


----------



## thejuicyone (May 10, 2009)

Metallica
Sister Hazel
Rage Against the Machine
System of a down
Barenaked Ladies


----------



## KendraLee (May 10, 2009)

Goldfrapp!


----------



## Slamaga (May 10, 2009)

I have a few one, maybe already answered...

-Justin Timberlake
-Lady gaga
-Britney spears
-Lindsay Lohan


----------



## ThatFatGirl (May 10, 2009)

I'll throw a few out here- 

Tool
Rammstein
Marc Almond


----------



## DeniseW (May 10, 2009)

The Moody Blues(you'll never be able to pull this off, they are perfection!!)

Bad Company

Guess Who

Guns N Roses

Eddie Money


----------



## Edens_heel (May 11, 2009)

I'll play:

Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals / Relentless Seven

The Mountain Goats (if you mock This Year or The best Ever Death Metal Band in Texas I might have to hunt you down)

Architecture in Helsinki

Asobi Seksu

The O.A.O.T's

Basement Jaxx

Beast

Dance Hall Crashers

Frightened Rabbit

The Go! Team

Japandroids (impossible to mock - I defy you to find reason to mock)

The Thermals

The Noisettes

Neutral Milk Hotel

Mother Mother

Ima Robot

Bloc Party


----------



## exile in thighville (May 11, 2009)

thejuicyone said:


> Metallica
> Sister Hazel
> Rage Against the Machine
> System of a down
> Barenaked Ladies



metallica: treat each other like shit then made a whole film crying about it and needing a "band therapist" because they lucked into a career that doesn't require them to learn basic people skills before becoming millionaires

and the napster thing

sister hazel: one sub-blues traveler hit wonder

rage against the machine: broke up over embarrassment because the one guy climbed that thing at the mtv awards

system of a down: serj let the guitar player horn in too many times then couldn't recover and made a beyond-shitty solo record

barenaked ladies: see violent femmes



KendraLee said:


> Goldfrapp!



sang the weak cut on tricky's otherwise impervious debut



Slamaga said:


> I have a few one, maybe already answered...
> 
> -Justin Timberlake
> -Lady gaga
> ...



justin timberlake: doing pretty well for himself but that madonna song sucked and alpha dog looked pretty dull

lady gaga: i do not know who this person is and soon the world will follow

lindsay lohan: hasn't done a thing since freaky friday yet people don't shut up



ThatFatGirl said:


> I'll throw a few out here-
> 
> Tool
> Rammstein
> Marc Almond



tool: worst fans on the planet

college roommate stayed up all night trying to explain to me once why lateralus was a spiral and aenima was a pyramid

then i got a new roommate

rammstein: i'd kind of hard to fuck with a bunch of germans who wear giant flame-throwing dildos onstage but they named their third album mutter which means mother and that's kind of sissy

marc almond: the difference between him and boy george is that i knew boy george had a solo career



DeniseW said:


> The Moody Blues(you'll never be able to pull this off, they are perfection!!)
> 
> Bad Company
> 
> ...



eddie money: currently in the unemployment line behind tommy dontmakeshit

guess who: to paraphrase entertainment weekly, they failed to ruin lenny kravitz for turning their anti-imperialist protest anthem into an ode to boning heather graham

moody blues: simpsons appearance wasn't very funny

guns n roses: if i spent 15 years making the record of my life i wouldn't sell it exclusively in only one goddamn store


----------



## Wild Zero (May 11, 2009)

thejuicyone said:


> Metallica
> Sister Hazel
> Rage Against the Machine
> System of a down
> Barenaked Ladies



*Metallica*: Apparently the road from "decent thrash band" to "buttrock assholes" goes directly through a tour bus window.

*Sister Hazel*: I forget, were they the ones who sang "Roll to me" "Run-Around" or "Breakfast at Tiffany's"? None of those? Sorry I can't keep the "offensively bland '90s modern rock" section of my brain organized.

*Rage Against the Machine*: A band so steadfast in their anti-corporate views that they signed with Sony. Broke up right before anti-Bush rage might have given them 60 albums worth of material and 3/4ths went on to form a band that seemed to write music strictly for summer blockbuster soundtracks. Keep fighting the man boys!

*System of a Down*: The guitar player who can't sing is one of three people who are Los Angeles Kings fans. Signed Satyricon to his vanity label (which I don't even think managed a release) fresh off their worst album and while they were already on their own vanity label.

*Barenaked Ladies*: 
_Guy with glasses_: How's our latest track coming along?
_That other guy_: Well I've got, *Lengthy string of pop culture references that will not in any way sound dated within two years* 
_Guy with glasses_: It's a hit!


----------



## BothGunsBlazing (May 11, 2009)

Weezer

Ben Folds

TONIC (they are untouchable)


----------



## BothGunsBlazing (May 11, 2009)

Wild Zero said:


> *Metallica*: Apparently the road from "decent thrash band" to "buttrock assholes" goes directly through a tour bus window.



It's really a shame he didn't go flying off a cliff really, just cause you know, cliff off a cliff. 

yeah. that'd of been worth it.


----------



## TraciJo67 (May 11, 2009)

Coldplay...


----------



## exile in thighville (May 11, 2009)

TraciJo67 said:


> Coldplay...



name doesn't make any sense



BothGunsBlazing said:


> Weezer
> 
> Ben Folds
> 
> TONIC (they are untouchable)



weezer: made an album where rivers complains about all the sex he's getting, jags off to a fan's mailed photo and kills a butterfly

this is the album everyone likes

ben folds: covered the darkness' "get your hands off of my woman" but didn't have the balls to go through with the "you cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-uuuuuuuu-uuuuuuunt" line

tonic: singer's name was emerson

the last emerson to rock and roll had a lake and palmer


----------



## AshleyEileen (May 11, 2009)

The Acacia Strain

Melt Banana

Forgive Durden

Valient Thorr

The Mars Volta


----------



## butch (May 11, 2009)

This thing has gone to 7 pages and nobody has mentioned the Beatles? Must be because they're bigger than Jesus or something.

Try Lucinda Williams and Ani DiFranco while you're at it (I think they're overrated, but can never quite pinpoint why).


----------



## Wild Zero (May 11, 2009)

AshleyEileen said:


> The Acacia Strain



Like every awful metalcore band of the past decade started out trying to be Converge, now wish they were Johnny Cupcakes. "HEY CHECK OUT MY BAND THAT'S ACTUALLY A FASHION HOUSE"


----------



## mango (May 11, 2009)

*David Lee Roth


Have at it!


*


----------



## exile in thighville (May 11, 2009)

Edens_heel said:


> I'll play:
> 
> Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals / Relentless Seven
> 
> ...



basement jaxx: possibly the perfect band but they bricked in the u.s. and their label dropped them

neutral milk hotel: reading the diary of anne frank as a grown adult blew his mind the rest of us learned about the holocaust in public school

ima robot: i have friends who swear by them but refuse to listen because the name is so bad

the noisettes: album cover's too easy for voraphiles to jerk off to

bloc party: i reserve a special hatred for kele okereke, who once defiantly stated that his band would never use drum machines onstage (?) and the drummer turned puzzled and said "we won't? what about the songs with drum machines?"

japandroids: i know the guy who told you to listen to them and his favorite band is jimmy eat world

frightened rabbit: sent me their album without asking if i wanted it

asobi sesku: newgaze is for mouthbreathers

ben harper: when his and dave matthews' powers combine I AM CAPTAIN JACK JOHNSON

architecture in helsinki: more like neverwillbedavidbyrne in helsinki

the mountain goats: some asshole posted pictures from my facebook of me at a bbw bash on ILM and john darnielle was one of the people who laughed at it

the go! team: second album wasn't that fun despite chuck d guestspot

the thermals: gorgeous fatty i interned for's favorite band but she moved to portland fuck them

i'm not looking up any of the ones i don't know


----------



## exile in thighville (May 11, 2009)

butch said:


> This thing has gone to 7 pages and nobody has mentioned the Beatles? Must be because they're bigger than Jesus or something.
> 
> Try Lucinda Williams and Ani DiFranco while you're at it (I think they're overrated, but can never quite pinpoint why).



beatles: exposed the world to be so stupid as to think paul was dead because _he had bare feet on a cover_

lucinda williams: her producer's name was gurf morlix and his album had a whole song that went "dan blocker/dan blocker/lorne greene/michael landon/pernell roberts" for three minutes

ani difranco: hasn't made a good record in a decade and keeps being nominated for the most inconsequential grammys..."best recording package"



mango said:


> *David Lee Roth
> 
> 
> Have at it!
> ...



his morning show after howard stern went to xm was an abomination



AshleyEileen said:


> The Acacia Strain
> 
> Melt Banana
> 
> ...



valient thorr: put on the most incredible live show opening for gogol bordello and yet i don't give a shit about their music

melt-banana: stone temple pilots of the boredoms

acacia strain: name evokes a skin disease or a phillip roth novel; actually a plant

none of these things are metal

the mars volta: at the drive-in had to break up because these two dandelion humpers wanted to make latin prog bullshit jazz i hope they're happy in fucking hell

forgive durden: official moratorium on bands that are a verb/person's name


----------



## olwen (May 11, 2009)

vampire weekend

the black kids

the bravery

doves

william shatner

the shins


----------



## Wild Zero (May 11, 2009)

olwen said:


> the bravery



Managed to make Interpol seem authentic. Oh and Skabba the Hut









> Vampire Weekend


The Strokes for the yuppie set.


----------



## AshleyEileen (May 11, 2009)

Maylene and the Sons of Disaster

As Cities Burn

Minus the Bear

He is Legend

Steel Panther

Dillinger Escape Plan

Chris Thile

Andrew Bird


----------



## Wild Zero (May 11, 2009)

AshleyEileen said:


> Dillinger Escape Plan



Overrated to begin with, Greg Puciato ruined the band and Adam Doll should have learned how to use a seatbelt.


----------



## Suze (May 11, 2009)

adele

.....


----------



## exile in thighville (May 11, 2009)

Wild Zero said:


> Adam Doll should have learned how to use a seatbelt.



there is no way i'm topping this one.



Suze said:


> adele
> 
> .....



not as chubby as advertised



olwen said:


> vampire weekend
> 
> the black kids
> 
> ...



did vampire weekend

black kids: not actually black kids fail

the bravery: instead of me saying something bad about the bravery how about you say something good about them

doves: better than starsailor...snicker

the shins: this band will change your diaper

william shatner: i fed him to immobility



AshleyEileen said:


> Maylene and the Sons of Disaster
> 
> As Cities Burn
> 
> ...



minus the bear: who subtracts bears bears are great

andrew bird: can whistle with his armpit while playing the violin with his asshole at the same time

as cities burn: screamo bands are so stupid with these fauxpocalyptic names. what cities? what burn? no cities are burning, because stupid bands like this can't even light a spark. anyway i have never heard this group

steel panther: sounds like either the worst beer ever or the best rollercoaster

chris thile: who

he is legend: doesn't have the fresh prince in them


----------



## AshleyEileen (May 11, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> chris thile: who



You're missing out.


----------



## undrcovrbrothr (May 11, 2009)

Glenn Miller

Duke Ellington

Dizzy Gillespie

Bix Biederbecke

Ella Fitzgerald

Billie Holliday

Buddy Holly


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (May 12, 2009)

Listing them solely b/c I know Dan will have a ball:

Weezer


----------



## The Fez (May 12, 2009)

Foo Fighters

Franz Ferdinand

Queens of the StoneAge

Muse

Thin Lizzy

Santana

Stereophonics


----------



## exile in thighville (May 12, 2009)

undrcovrbrothr said:


> Glenn Miller
> 
> Duke Ellington
> 
> ...



JAZZ



Freestyle Fez said:


> Foo Fighters
> 
> Franz Ferdinand
> 
> ...



foo fighters: stole their last album title from dashboard confessional then to cover their tracks made a song whining about emo kids

besides like charlie watts this is the most acclaimed living drummer how insecure can you get

santana: so out of touch with reality that he recruited rob thomas for a hit

thin lizzy: legacy reduced from muscle shirts to toy story

muse: radiohead's pretensions were going over pretension-cravers' heads so they invented a lowbrow version of themselves

stereophonics: one of those bands england made up to try and trick us into thinking they have bands

franz ferdinand: sleater-kinney dissed them and anyone sleater-kinney hates is dead in my book (except for liz phair of course)

queens of the stone age: named themselves such to piss off homophobic metalheads then called a heckler a ****** from the stage and made a huge myspace post to handle the pr

none of this is why they're horrible

it's because they thought anyone would care


----------



## Les Toil (May 12, 2009)

The Cure

Smashing Pumpkins


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (May 12, 2009)

Oh yeah...

Live

Veruca Salt

This is fun.


----------



## MissToodles (May 12, 2009)

dinosaur jr. whom I may be dragged to see live in June.


----------



## Mathias (May 12, 2009)

Dream Theater.


----------



## Wild Zero (May 12, 2009)

Les Toil said:


> The Cure
> 
> Smashing Pumpkins



The Cure: Not even worth writing on a piece of driftwood.

Smashing Pumpkins: Billy Corgan has the ego of Kanye West and the talent of Rob Pilatus


----------



## bexy (May 12, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> stereophonics: one of those bands england made up to try and trick us into thinking they have bands



sorry, but I have to....they are actually from Wales


----------



## Wild Zero (May 12, 2009)

It'd make my day if someone shit all over Crystal Castles


----------



## Suze (May 12, 2009)

new order

....


----------



## exile in thighville (May 12, 2009)

bexy said:


> sorry, but I have to....they are actually from Wales



isn't wales that place england made up to make us think they have places



Wild Zero said:


> It'd make my day if someone shit all over Crystal Castles



to shit all over crystal castles you must have the runs

which crystal castles have because they do so much blow



Les Toil said:


> The Cure
> 
> Smashing Pumpkins



the cure: invented goths and not the sexy kind

smashing pumpkins: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgcieNseX8Y



BigBeautifulMe said:


> Oh yeah...
> 
> Live
> 
> ...



veruca salt: after nina gordon quit lousie post because one of the all time hottest celeb fatties but lost it again because she wanted to go back to having no fans

live: did a "hip-hop influenced record" with noted gangsta tricky and lyrics taunting a girl's boyfriend's dick size also "you better back up fool/ i bet you took a gun to school too"

it was their worst selling so they went back to making records called BIRDS OF PRAY



MissToodles said:


> dinosaur jr. whom I may be dragged to see live in June.



dinosaur jr kicked out lou barlow basically for saying "stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself" to j mascis in the tour van all day then reunited even though you know he still totally does



Mathias said:


> Dream Theater.









release date: september 11, 2001

whoops


----------



## exile in thighville (May 12, 2009)

Suze said:


> new order
> 
> ....



hired someone to kill ian curtis and make it look like a suicide because they were too chickenshit to tell an epileptic he was holding them back


----------



## Mathias (May 12, 2009)

Fort Minor.


----------



## olwen (May 12, 2009)

MissToodles said:


> dinosaur jr. whom I may be dragged to see live in June.



My condolences. 


Okay Dan, The Bravery makes catchy songs that make you want to listen to Echo and the Bunnymen, so while we're at it, 

Echo and the Bunnymen

Sleater Kinney (I dare you)

Regina Specktor

Pearl Jam

Rasputina

Ok Go

Stars


----------



## exile in thighville (May 12, 2009)

Mathias said:


> Fort Minor.



rap side project from a linkin park guy who raps one line on every song

what no takers



olwen said:


> My condolences.
> 
> 
> Okay Dan, The Bravery makes catchy songs that make you want to listen to Echo and the Bunnymen, so while we're at it,
> ...



echo and the bunnymen: donnie fucking darko

sleater-kinney: carrie brownstein runs an awful npr blog where she denounces such modern evils as "rock band" and "madonna" and generally proves herself to be quite the grandma

ok go: remember the treadmill song? hum a few bars for me

still waiting

regina spektor: there's nothing bad to really say about regina spektor...dating a stroke was pretty bad but after they broke up she dissed him in song making it totally worth it. i guess the fact that her new album is taking way too long to show up in my mailbox (or leak). soviet kitsch was kind of a bore

pearl jam: just re-released their best-known and most beloved album changed because they're embarrassed by parts of it. a band that truly loves its fans

rasputina: peak of their career was scoring a buffy scene

stars: my friend says "mention an interview i read with torquil campbell where he was talking about bush and cheney as CRAZY FOR POWER and that they were somehow really different in their power craziness and that 'most people just want a house, food, and regular sex, but these guys, i dunno, they want something more' YOU'RE IN A ROCK BAND YOU IDIOT" but this one's too easy

it's pretty funny that he calls ryan dombal "ryan numballs" but in general freaking out over a 7.4 out of 10 is the sort of thing that gets a cylon thrown out an airlock

also his name's fucking torquil


----------



## Seth Warren (May 13, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> stars...in general freaking out over a 7.4 out of 10 is the sort of thing that gets a cylon thrown out an airlock



He's whining over a 7.4 on Pitchfork? Most bands would sacrifice small animals and close relatives for that good of a review there.


----------



## Suze (May 13, 2009)

the gossip


----------



## exile in thighville (May 13, 2009)

Suze said:


> the gossip



she's against showering, her comment re: "gay men" being the problem regarding size discrimination in fashion was moronic, and it pains me to say her band really, really sucks. the pretty good single streaming on their myspace gives me hope for the new record though


----------



## olwen (May 13, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> rap side project from a linkin park guy who raps one line on every song
> 
> what no takers
> 
> ...



So, what, gradmas can't rock?


Hey, artists can be as whiny and diva as they wanna be, but yeah, I agree. His response makes them suck.


----------



## Uriel (May 14, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> release date: september 11, 2001
> 
> whoops



Honestly, I find a lot of your posts to be funny, just as many to be 'off', driven by your personal bias (Which is fine, as you started this thread to express your opinions, asinine as they sometimes are), but this one...

Ladies, and gentlemen, I think we have a winner in the most Suckage of all time in this most unfortunate of coincidences. 

BTW, DT is the epitome of the One Hit Wonder anyways, but Kudos to you for Wiki-ing them to find something better to note.


----------



## exile in thighville (May 14, 2009)

Uriel said:


> Honestly, I find a lot of your posts to be funny, just as many to be 'off', driven by your personal bias (Which is fine, as you started this thread to express your opinions, asinine as they sometimes are), but this one...
> 
> Ladies, and gentlemen, I think we have a winner in the most Suckage of all time in this most unfortunate of coincidences.
> 
> BTW, DT is the epitome of the One Hit Wonder anyways, but Kudos to you for Wiki-ing them to find something better to note.



that and this, scheduled for the same release date: 






the only ones i've really had to wiki in this thread (other than to get an exact quote or jog my memory) are jazz ones and also, these aren't exactly my "opinions"...2/3 of the stuff that's been mentioned is something i like but everyone's done something horrible worth nothing (except sleater-kinney of course)


----------



## mejix (May 14, 2009)

beatles? two words: beatle fans


----------



## TotallyReal (May 14, 2009)

TV On The Radio
The Minutemen
Buddy Guy
Circle Jerks
DJ Qbert
Dan the Automator
Phillip Glass
Company Flow
The Clash
Grizzly Bear

~~GOOD LUCK WITH NUMBERS 2, 3, 5, 7, and 8~~


----------



## furious styles (May 14, 2009)

TotallyReal said:


> ~~GOOD LUCK WITH NUMBERS 2, 3, 5, 7, and 8~~



nah, dan hates good hip hop


----------



## mejix (May 14, 2009)

TotallyReal said:


> TV On The Radio
> The Minutemen
> Buddy Guy
> Circle Jerks
> ...



philip glass? look i love the guy but he can be very very formulaic. terribly nice fella though.


----------



## furious styles (May 14, 2009)

furious styles said:


> nah, dan hates good hip hop



with that said,

DJ Qbert : hand speed no doubt comes from furious masturbation habit
Phillip Glass : every song is the same 8 notes being played back and forth. plus reich got the pulitzer OWNED
Company Flow : sounds like the funcrusher was recorded in a swimming pool. filled with bad slang like "fresh" and "herb."

jk guys i love you all


----------



## exile in thighville (May 15, 2009)

furious styles said:


> nah, dan hates good hip hop



i believe there's a company flow reissue in your home and the booklet pages aren't all stuck together yet so you better get crackin



TotallyReal said:


> TV On The Radio
> The Minutemen
> Buddy Guy
> Circle Jerks
> ...



tv on the radio i ether at length here

but yeah david sitek's myspace freakout over the "racist" village voice cover and his album leaking was almost as foul as the scarjo record

buddy guy: fathered shawna from ludacris' disturbing tha peace clique

they suck

minutemen: "corona"'s annoying enough to be the jackass theme

circle jerks: black flag without a greg ginn

q-bert: if he's such an all-time dj why isn't wave twisters up there with endtroducing or at least as good as the first kid koala record

automator: lovage kinda sucked and his dr. octagon beats that aren't "blue flowers" are overrated

phillip glass: brian eno : steve reich :: daniel lanois : phillip glass

company flow: outrageously overrated. blast cannibal ox or fantastic damage and then play wimpy-ass funcrusher and tell me his beats were al dente

then do the same thing with the lyrics

the clash: kicked out mick jones for like, enjoying their pop success or something. don't make "rock the casbah" if you don't want the casbah rocked retards

grizzly bear: oh god i hate this band. let's see if there's any choice verbiage from the veckatimest thread on my other hangout

"They sound like corn flakes that have sat in milk too long."


----------



## Ernest Nagel (May 15, 2009)

Miles Davis. I actually don't GAF about your opinion. I just want Miles' ghost to come to you in your sleep and force you to choose between death and any real musical talent/awareness for dissing him.  Oh, wait, you've apparently already chosen? :doh:


----------



## Suze (May 15, 2009)

Enya


...


----------



## StarWitness (May 15, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> ben harper: when his and dave matthews' powers combine I AM CAPTAIN JACK JOHNSON



I lol'd.

Hm, let's see... you've ripped into most of my favorites already...

Dar Williams

the Raveonettes

KMFDM

the National

LCD Soundsystem


----------



## jamesdevise (May 15, 2009)

okay,

i'm bracing myself:

TV on the Radio
Jeffrey Lewis
Deerhunter

give it your best shot!


----------



## g-squared (May 15, 2009)

Wu-Tang Clan, as a group and the individual members.


----------



## mango (May 15, 2009)

*Lou Reed


*


----------



## furious styles (May 15, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> i believe there's a company flow reissue in your home and the booklet pages aren't all stuck together yet so you better get crackin



it's still not here, and i pre-ordered yo. mad blue balls.


----------



## Seth Warren (May 15, 2009)

Suze said:


> Enya
> 
> 
> ...



Multi-track your voice 100 times and add an obscene amount of reverb and you'll sound spacey and trippy too.


----------



## moore2me (May 15, 2009)

Dear exile,

Most of my favorite bands are "moldy oldies". I think most everyone on my list is dead. And, like Johnny Cash, about half of them spent time in prison. So try to be a easy on my bizzare tastes . . . . 

Early Country from America
1. Woody Guthrie
2. Hank Williams Sr.
3. Lester Flatt & Earle Scruggs

Big Band Era, WWII Era
4. Jimmy Dorsey & Orchestra
5. Cab Calloway & Orchestra
6. Lena Horne


----------



## Tooz (May 15, 2009)

"automator: lovage kinda sucked"

Lovage is awesome.


----------



## thatgirl08 (May 15, 2009)

m.i.a. 
belle and sebastian.
cher.


----------



## exile in thighville (May 16, 2009)

Tooz said:


> "automator: lovage kinda sucked"
> 
> Lovage is awesome.



lovage sucked. i like handsome boy and deltron and the first head automatica record.


----------



## exile in thighville (May 16, 2009)

Ernest Nagel said:


> Miles Davis. I actually don't GAF about your opinion. I just want Miles' ghost to come to you in your sleep and force you to choose between death and any real musical talent/awareness for dissing him.  Oh, wait, you've apparently already chosen? :doh:



i'm an ornette/monk guy.


----------



## exile in thighville (May 16, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> m.i.a.
> belle and sebastian.
> cher.



m.i.a. - her dad was part of the terrorist group that invented the suicide bomber "jacket"

cher - had a kid with gregg allman who formed the band deadsy and changed his name to p. exeter blue

belle and sebastian - losing isobel campbell was a big mistake and their last album wasn't their finest hour


----------



## exile in thighville (May 16, 2009)

Suze said:


> Enya
> 
> 
> ...



i've never actually listened to enya, i'm going to for the first time to answer this brb

that was pretty bland but it really wasn't the worst thing i've ever heard in my life, just really cheap and synthesized and robotic for someone who's sold - jesus - 70 million albums worldwide and can afford like, whole orchestras if she so chooses. so she sucks for failing at the one thing she was supposed to achieve.

oh and this:



> Although her Grammys were for "Best New Age Album", Enya does not personally classify her music as belonging to the New Age genre. When asked what genre she would classify her music as belonging to, she would reply, "Enya".[13]


----------



## exile in thighville (May 16, 2009)

StarWitness said:


> I lol'd.
> 
> Hm, let's see... you've ripped into most of my favorites already...
> 
> ...



the raveonettes - every song on their first album was in b-flat major. that's not minimalism, it's Not Even Trying

kmfdm - doesn't actually stand for karl marx found dead masturbating

lcd soundsystem - death from above 1979 never actually flew a plane into his head like they threatened

the national - leonard cohen for illiterate brooklyn stereotypes

dar williams - what differentiates her from the rest of lilith fair again


----------



## exile in thighville (May 16, 2009)

mango said:


> *Lou Reed
> 
> 
> *



huge asshole. put out _metal machine music_ and dared people to like it ("anyone who gets to side four is dumber than i am"), put out a song where he gets caught cheating and tells his wife what an asshole she is, put out a song called "i wanna be black"

but really probably a nice guy. just got married! aww.


----------



## exile in thighville (May 16, 2009)

jamesdevise said:


> okay,
> 
> i'm bracing myself:
> 
> ...



i did tvotr, jeffrey lewis is so wordy he makes kimya dawson look like rick ross, deerhunter singer wrote a guy i know a sarcastic email for dissing him in la weekly and the guy i know threatened to kick his ass


----------



## exile in thighville (May 16, 2009)

g-squared said:


> Wu-Tang Clan, as a group and the individual members.



now THIS is a good one.

method man - sucks without collaborators. needs mary j/redman/the clan/whoever bad. hasn't made a critically or commercially liked album since at least 1998 either.

u-god - gets less verse time on a wu album than cappadonna and he's not even officially in the group

masta killa - gets less verse time on a wu album than odb and he's not even alive

gza - liquid swords isn't as good as legend of the liquid sword so his fans are all backwards

raekwon - only built for cuban linx is the most overrated wu solo record and he's only good on ghostface or outkast songs

rza - never made a beat or spit a verse as good as his scene in coffee & cigarettes with bill murray

odb - wasn't alive to stab rhymefest in the head for unearthing a humiliating tape of him singing "build me up buttercup" and letting mark fucking ronson build a beat around it

inspectah deck - i don't remember a thing about his album, not one

ghostface - ghostface is the best. i guess the worst thing i can say about him is that i wish his son inherited dad's distinctive voice so i could tell who he is on theodore unit tracks and make fun of him?

oh and as a group...it was pretty dumb of them to publicly disown 8 diagrams because of rza's production. and they have a song called "wu wear: the garment renaissance"


----------



## exile in thighville (May 16, 2009)

moore2me said:


> Dear exile,
> 
> Most of my favorite bands are "moldy oldies". I think most everyone on my list is dead. And, like Johnny Cash, about half of them spent time in prison. So try to be a easy on my bizzare tastes . . . .
> 
> ...



cab calloway wasn't alive to wring andre 3000's neck, ditto woody guthrie and jeff tweedy

hank williams was probably an asshole

dunno the rest


----------



## StarWitness (May 16, 2009)

Wheee! Again!

Nine Inch Nails
Dananananaykroyd
ABBA
the White Stripes

(Apologies for any repeats.)


----------



## exile in thighville (May 16, 2009)

StarWitness said:


> Wheee! Again!
> 
> Nine Inch Nails
> Dananananaykroyd
> ...



dananananaykroyd: unreal

nin: benevolence toward fans with free albums and shit of late would've looked better if he pulled these stunts before he was a secure millionaire

abba: mamma mia looks like shit

white stripes: meg doesn't sing enough


----------



## Tooz (May 16, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> lovage sucked.



I love the porno sound.


----------



## olwen (May 16, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> cab calloway wasn't alive to wring andre 3000's neck, ditto woody guthrie and jeff tweedy
> 
> hank williams was probably an asshole
> 
> dunno the rest



Wait, you don't know Lena Horne or Jimmy Dorsey?  I'm honestly surprised. For someone who knows so much about music, that's actually kinda bad.


----------



## Timberwolf (May 16, 2009)

Hmmm...

ZZ Top
Yello
Dancewolf
Pet Shop Boys
Grateful Dead
Lynyrd Skynyrd
Ace of Base
Roxette
Dire Straits

... that'll be enough for now.


----------



## exile in thighville (May 16, 2009)

olwen said:


> Wait, you don't know Lena Horne or Jimmy Dorsey?  I'm honestly surprised. For someone who knows so much about music, that's actually kinda bad.



sure, if i reviewed jazz or cared about the pre-rock era.



Timberwolf said:


> Hmmm...
> 
> ZZ Top
> Yello
> ...



zz top: the one beardless guy in the group is named frank beard FAIL

grateful dead: a good stumper because i don't like them but i don't know a lot about them. it feels too easy to attack their countercultural influence and dumb hippies and stuff

and now that i've researched, i hate them even less:



> _Grateful Dead_ is an eponymous live double album by the Grateful Dead, released in 1971. Also known as _Skull & Roses_ (due to its iconic cover art) and _Skull Fuck_ (the name the band originally wanted to give to the album, which was rejected by the record company).[1]



lynyrd skynyrd: the ones who didn't die in the plane crash lived to collab with the kid rock/charlie daniels trident of jingoistic nu-nashville

dire straits: two homophobic songs, three if you count the "little ****** with the earring" line in "money for nothing," which my dad tells me is "commentary"

pet shop boys: came up with the greatest-named music festival ever (wotapalava) and canned it

roxette: another 80s duo that wasn't the eurythmics

ace of base: only had one song that was "all that she wants"

yello: shi

dancewolf: sounds more like a bad dims handle than a band


----------



## alienlanes (May 16, 2009)

Too Short

The Mekons


----------



## Hathor (May 17, 2009)

Death In June

Current 93

Zaz Zetouin

Mother Destruction

Mazzy Star


----------



## Edens_heel (May 17, 2009)

Love the replies, Dan, but you've gotta give Beast a listen... of course I seem predisposed to gush over a lot of Montreal groups, but damn I love Betty Bonifasi's voice.


----------



## exile in thighville (May 17, 2009)

Edens_heel said:


> Love the replies, Dan, but you've gotta give Beast a listen... of course I seem predisposed to gush over a lot of Montreal groups, but damn I love Betty Bonifasi's voice.



i prefer girl singers to guy singers so i'll try them



Hathor said:


> Death In June
> 
> Current 93
> 
> ...



only one i know is mazzy star and they're portishead without beats



SlackerFA said:


> Too Short
> 
> The Mekons



too short: invented the correlation between rapping and pimping after his plan to wear blackface and smoke crack from a watermelon pipe fell through

mekons: take too long between records


----------



## StarWitness (May 17, 2009)

the Jesus and Mary Chain

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Bjork- lose points for mention of swan dress


----------



## Suze (May 17, 2009)

beck
superfamily 
(i'll forgive you if it doesn't ring a bell) 
röyksopp 
(again, i'll forg..etc)


----------



## moore2me (May 17, 2009)

Lester Flatt & Earle Scruggs



exile in thighville said:


> cab calloway wasn't alive to wring andre 3000's neck, ditto woody guthrie and jeff tweedy
> 
> hank williams was probably an asshole
> 
> *dunno the rest*



Exile,

I'll bet that 80% of Americans and quite a few folks in other countries (depending on TV editing and dubbing) have listened to and can actually sing a few bars from a Flatt and Scruggs song (including you). 




*The Ballad of Jed Clampett *(the theme song of the Beverly Hillbillies) -
"Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named Jed. . . . ."


----------



## exile in thighville (May 17, 2009)

Suze said:


> beck
> superfamily
> (i'll forgive you if it doesn't ring a bell)
> röyksopp
> (again, i'll forg..etc)



beck: scientology
royksopp: like the orb with an orbotomy
superfamily: sound like every other band with the word super in the title



StarWitness said:


> the Jesus and Mary Chain
> 
> Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
> 
> Bjork- lose points for mention of swan dress




jesus and mary chain: have made the same number of good albums as glasvegas
nick cave: more like no actual songs blues
bjork: video for it's oh so quiet best enjoyed on mute


----------



## exile in thighville (May 18, 2009)

moore2me said:


> Lester Flatt & Earle Scruggs
> 
> 
> 
> ...



i think you underestimate my generation's ignorance


----------



## swamptoad (May 18, 2009)

I was wondering about these?



Geggy Tah
Ween
The Boisterous Mellow Pollywog Tribe
Sia
Zero 7
Orbital


*? ¿ ? ¿ ?*


----------



## thejuicyone (May 18, 2009)

Sublime
Barry White


----------



## Suze (May 18, 2009)

rick astley


----------



## Shosh (May 18, 2009)

* Powderfinger
* You am I
* Spiderbait
* The Whitlams


----------



## exile in thighville (May 20, 2009)

swamptoad said:


> Geggy Tah
> Ween
> The Boisterous Mellow Pollywog Tribe
> Sia
> ...



sia: shares name with a really dumb spin writer

orbital: boards of canada were so worried about being compared to these beep machines that they denied they also were a pair of brothers

zero 7: techno to drink coffee to

no thanks

ween: their best songs are generally their least funny

unless you're a sicko who laughs at "spinal meningitis (got me down)"

that pollywog thing has to be you


----------



## exile in thighville (May 20, 2009)

thejuicyone said:


> Sublime
> Barry White



sublime: drug casualty = american hero per usual

barry white: al green would never do ally mcbeal


----------



## exile in thighville (May 20, 2009)

Suze said:


> rick astley



there is nothing bad about rick astley



Susannah said:


> * Powderfinger
> * You am I
> * Spiderbait
> * The Whitlams



i don't know any of them


----------



## TotallyReal (May 20, 2009)

Asher Roth deserves to be pushed under a speeding truck and then laughed at as he dies. You really don't have to say anything here, Im just venting!!!!Lol.


----------



## swamptoad (May 20, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> sia: shares name with a really dumb spin writer
> 
> orbital: boards of canada were so worried about being compared to these beep machines that they denied they also were a pair of brothers
> 
> ...







yeah .. TBMPT (The Boisterous Mellow Pollywog Tribe is me) 

now go to my homepage and tell me why I am horrible. 
you can click on my name to find my homepage.


What's horrible about my music ... I wanna know, purdy please ??? :happy: ...or you can just make stuff up .. heh ...


----------



## Victim (May 20, 2009)

Disturbed

Nightwish

The Offspring

Joe Satriani


----------



## Wild Zero (May 20, 2009)

Victim said:


> Disturbed
> 
> Nightwish
> 
> ...



Drop D tuning and monkey noises doesn't make for interesting music, neither does writing a press bio comparing your band to a shark.

Evanescence without the fanbase, aside from metalheads looking for a sex symbol in a frontwoman that looked like Richard Kiel in drag.

When _Gilmore Girls_ cracks on your band for writing the same shitty song over and over it's time to go back to Molecular Biology, Dexter.

Does anyone have the heart to tell Joe Satriani that no matter how hard you try guitars cannot ejaculate?


----------



## Victim (May 20, 2009)

Oasis. I don't like them either, I just wanna hear someone else rip on them.


----------



## olwen (May 20, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> there is nothing bad about rick astley....




WHAT?!? I call shenanigens.


----------



## olwen (May 20, 2009)

Victim said:


> Oasis. I don't like them either, I just wanna hear someone else rip on them.



Tried their damndest to channel early beatles, failed miserably so fell back on a watered down version thereof. Their songs died before they could even begin to become catchy and they chocked on their own "success." Where for art thou Oasis?


----------



## Hathor (May 21, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> only one i know is mazzy star and they're portishead without beats



I tried to throw in some that most people haven't heard of.


----------



## DeniseW (May 21, 2009)

I must be totally unhip, I haven't even heard of half these artists!!! lol


----------



## exile in thighville (May 24, 2009)

Victim said:


> Oasis. I don't like them either, I just wanna hear someone else rip on them.



oasis haven't made a good album since 1997 but dan le sac and scroobius pip haven't made one ever



Victim said:


> Disturbed
> 
> Nightwish
> 
> ...



offspring are so pathetic for another hit they tried to rewrite EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT "PRETTY FLY FOR A WHITE GUY" as some shitbag called "original prankster"...latin sounding riff, guy popping in with the voice, which they'd already done twice then

and anyway dexter holland's possibly the ugliest rock star

joe satriani's so pathetic he tried to sue coldplay for stealing his song when it's quite obvious by whining about it he was in fact stealing their empty testicle sacks

disturbed were the subject of a fucking spin article about why jews listen to them (omg) cuz singer's jew

guy who wrote it just called 21st century breakdown "possibly looking at album of the decade" in the voice

nightwish sounds more like a my little pony character or a stripper than a metal band



swamptoad said:


> yeah .. TBMPT (The Boisterous Mellow Pollywog Tribe is me)
> 
> now go to my homepage and tell me why I am horrible.
> you can click on my name to find my homepage.
> ...



there are no good myspace bands


----------



## kinkykitten (May 24, 2009)

LOL i love the responses


----------



## kinkykitten (May 24, 2009)

Here is an easy one...

Lady Gaga


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## disaster117 (May 24, 2009)

kinkykitten said:


> Here is an easy one...
> 
> Lady Gaga



HA! AN EASY ONE? How about not even worth discussing. I cannot stand her anymore (I admit it, I used to enjoy her songs), and I can't wait for Dan's response to this one.


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## exile in thighville (May 24, 2009)

lady gaga inspired a kanye remix called "i poke her face"

guesswhatitsabout



disaster117 said:


> HA! AN EASY ONE? How about not even worth discussing. I cannot stand her anymore (I admit it, I used to enjoy her songs), and I can't wait for Dan's response to this one.



"used to"

she's only existed for like a month

since when do you post here


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## disaster117 (May 25, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> lady gaga inspired a kanye remix called "i poke her face"
> 
> guesswhatitsabout
> 
> ...



Oh I don't. Don't worry!


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## Wagimawr (Jul 13, 2009)

Styx.

(and the whole "Dennis DeYoung is great, Tommy Shaw and James Young are asswipes" bit is implied, at this point.)

DO YOUR WORST, BIRDMAN


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## Suze (Jul 13, 2009)

Bob Dylan.


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## kayrae (Aug 5, 2009)

awesome thread, dan. will rep ya later. have a go at these artists:

gym class heroes
tupac shakur
the ting tings
the blow


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## KatsPyjamas (Aug 24, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> isn't wales that place england made up to make us think they have places



Oh god LOL.

DO SPARKS, I love them.

Also I don't think you laid into Coldplay nearly enough


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## thatgirl08 (Aug 24, 2009)

How about this danexmachina dbag?


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## joh (Aug 24, 2009)

Bela Fleck and Flecktones
SMV
Michael Franti
John Mooney
John Brown's Body
Toots and the Maytals
Donna the Buffalo (lead guitar/singer has same name as me! Woot!)
Django Reinhardt

I had more, but figured 14 was a bit too much.


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## Heading_for_the_Light (Aug 24, 2009)

Hm. Alright. Let's try this.

--Talking Heads

--Brian Eno

--King Crimson


I must see how this turns out.


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## thatgirl08 (Aug 24, 2009)

Rise Against.


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## Weeze (Aug 24, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> Rise Against.



you joking?


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## Tooz (Aug 24, 2009)

krismiss said:


> you joking?



They're terrible :x


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## thatgirl08 (Aug 24, 2009)

krismiss said:


> you joking?





Tooz said:


> They're terrible :x



I love them. Isn't this Dan's job?


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## kayrae (Aug 24, 2009)

Dan doesn't want to play


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## thatgirl08 (Aug 24, 2009)

kayrae said:


> Dan doesn't want to play



Party pooper.


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## Tooz (Aug 24, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> I love them. Isn't this Dan's job?



Well he ain't here, girlfriend!


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## KatsPyjamas (Aug 24, 2009)

Heading_for_the_Light said:


> --Brian Eno



Produced an album for Coldplay


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## Seth Warren (Aug 24, 2009)

KatsPyjamas said:


> Produced an album for Coldplay



Which one? _Music To Sleep To_? Oh, wait...that's all of them.


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## SparkGirl (Aug 24, 2009)

_*Ugh, I totally missed this thread until tonight, and now he isn't playing anymore. I would have said:
James Taylor
Carly Simon
*_


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## Fonzy (Aug 25, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> oasis haven't made a good album since 1997



So you don't consider "Don't Believe The Truth" and "Dig Out Your Soul" to be good albums? Tut tut Mr. Exile 

Just out of curiosity I'd like to hear your views in the following artists please!

Span
Casino
The Stunning
Mic Christopher
BellX1
Wir Sind Helden
Grand Theft Audio


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## soulwreck20 (Aug 26, 2009)

black sabbath with ozzy 


system of a down


rob zombie


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## thatgirl08 (Aug 26, 2009)

Apparently everyone missed the post about Dan not planning on answering any of these anymore.


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## Wagimawr (Aug 26, 2009)

dan ex parrot is more like it

WELL FUCK YOU THEN MACHINA

...to take the reins or not to take the reins...I have a suspicion half of my answers would be "never heard of them so they must suck"...


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## SparkGirl (Aug 26, 2009)

*Dan never actually said that. We're patiently hoping he'll be tempted to come back and indulge us because this is such a fun thread. *



thatgirl08 said:


> Apparently everyone missed the post about Dan not planning on answering any of these anymore.


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## thatgirl08 (Aug 26, 2009)

SparkGirl said:


> *Dan never actually said that. We're patiently hoping he'll be tempted to come back and indulge us because this is such a fun thread. *



How do you know whether he said it or not?


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## SparkGirl (Aug 26, 2009)

*Uhh, because it says nowhere in the thread that he stated that. How do you know?*


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## thatgirl08 (Aug 26, 2009)

SparkGirl said:


> *Uhh, because it says nowhere in the thread that he stated that. How do you know?*





kayrae said:


> Dan doesn't want to play



...........................


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## SparkGirl (Aug 26, 2009)

_*Dan didn't say that.....Kayrae did. Horses mouth and stuff....*_



thatgirl08 said:


> ...........................


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## exile in thighville (Aug 27, 2009)

if this was any year but a decade-end year i could do more of these, but i'm too busy writing pretty much everywhere else about important world issues like whether "what happened to that boy" deserves to be higher than "get low" on my 500 favorite 2000-2009 songs list.

if you want to read my real rockcrit pm me and i'll tell you what to google.


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## exile in thighville (Aug 27, 2009)

sparks do fucking blow though

rise against don't have enough exclamation points in their name

ozzy osbourne convinced an earth of stoned retards that satan was cool


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## kayrae (Aug 27, 2009)

hahaha... you can't be bribed with rep?


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## thatgirl08 (Aug 27, 2009)

SparkGirl said:


> _*Dan didn't say that.....Kayrae did. Horses mouth and stuff....*_



Right right. I just thought that meant she had talked to him, since I know they talk sometimes. That's all!


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## Wagimawr (Aug 27, 2009)

BAD END...


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## exile in thighville (Aug 27, 2009)

kayrae said:


> hahaha... you can't be bribed with rep?



i didn't say that


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## msbard90 (Aug 27, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> name doesn't make any sense
> 
> 
> 
> ...



However, you must look beyond that. Musically, everything is very talented and perfect, regarding to pitch, tempo, etc... Rivers tends to be particular about the specs, instrumentally as well as vocally.. (much better than some of these screaming idiot bands out there) If you want to mess with weezer, mess with the new stuff. Pinkerton's a classic


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## exile in thighville (Aug 27, 2009)

new stuff = better than stinkerton


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## kayrae (Aug 27, 2009)

I already repped you. I'm waiting.


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## protuberance (Aug 27, 2009)

BTB said:


> And I want the truth about Led Zeppelin



They play ruin Blues songs like English wussies and Robert Plant is a fucking cunt who just yells. They have a handful of good songs and they completely stole parts of them from other bands.


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## SocialbFly (Aug 27, 2009)

Leonard Cohen "everybody knows"


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## Tooz (Aug 27, 2009)

there is only one good weezer album.


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## msbard90 (Aug 27, 2009)

Tooz said:


> there is only one good weezer album.



And which one would that be? Disc B of the Deluxe edition? Because that's got some of the best music I ever heard  I don't know.. Between The blue album, Pinkerton, the blue album's deluxe edition, and maladroit, I don't know what to choose! Green Album and beyond is garbage with the exception of a few songs.. I really love Pork and Beans on the red album.

ps. i'm a weezer connoisseur (spelling??? lol)


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## exile in thighville (Aug 27, 2009)

no i really am too busy for this

the weezer one-album myth is the most boring opinion of all time


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## msbard90 (Aug 27, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> no i really am too busy for this
> 
> the weezer one-album myth is the most boring opinion of all time



and yet, you keep coming back for more.
it's the vortex that dims sucks us all into.


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## Scorsese86 (Aug 27, 2009)

SocialbFly said:


> Leonard Cohen "everybody knows"



Oh, my. I was at a concert with him a month ago. What a man!


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## exile in thighville (Aug 27, 2009)

my dad ran into leonard cohen on the street. supposedly he's the live show of the year


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## Seth Warren (Aug 27, 2009)

Weezer are woefully overrated. Like so many fanbases, I mock theirs.

They had a few good songs, but due to my former position at a college radio station where I had to listen to a great glut of the shit coming in, I can regrettably state that "Green" and "Maladroit" are a collective hour of my life that I will never get back. An hour and six minutes, if you count the fact that I had to listen to each album's teaser singles when they came in as well. I really fucking hate "Hash Pipe."


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## SocialbFly (Aug 27, 2009)

Scorsese86 said:


> Oh, my. I was at a concert with him a month ago. What a man!



he has a live show here in la for one night, i am sure i missed the ticket opportunity (needed to check butt to seat ratio) damn....i think his stuff rocks...and his voice, bloody hell....


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## exile in thighville (Aug 27, 2009)

green is great, and i'd take it over blue actually, for lacking an eight-minute abortion like "only in dreams" to ruin everything

no idea why people hate "hash pipe"

pinkerton > green > blue > red > the decent third of maladroit


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## KatsPyjamas (Aug 28, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> sparks do fucking blow though



I'm not satisfied, you haven't given a reason.

Can't we all have a go giving reasons? I want to say some bands such. Because most bands do.


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## Wagimawr (Aug 28, 2009)

these guys arent half bad


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## thatgirl08 (Aug 28, 2009)

I hate Weezer. They have like two good songs total.


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## exile in thighville (Aug 28, 2009)

ok, here's the deal. i'll continue this thread with donations to my pretty much dead blog.

each person who throws me a non-shitty question for it i'll make fun of 3-5 bands of your choosing, but nothing without a question for the blog.

and for kayrae:

andrew bird - i saw him play a violin, guitar and sing at the same time and he was still boring

blur - watch damon albarn dance in any video

their popularity is a case of mass michael stipe envy on the brits' part

devendra banhart - charles manson called he wants his ________ back

cocorosie - they paint their faces and don't spit blood 

fail


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