# LMFAO....what made you laugh today?



## JenFromOC (Jun 16, 2010)

I'm sure there has been a thread about this before, but I can't find it. So, post stuff that made you LOL, LMAO, LMFAO, ROFL, etc. whatever....

Here's mine to start....I was looking at Craigslist (for laughs) and I came across this personal ad. It is a true Orange County gem.

*Tan hot little beach babe who doesn't need this shit - 23 (OC)*

First off, you need to be really fucking hot and awesome. None of this "maybe if I take a picture of myself with a shitty camera that hides my acne in a dark mirror with toothpaste upside down looking away from the camera with my hair in my face" bullshit. I want you to stare into the camera like you're about to fuck it because you're so hot and you know it. You should be ridiculously attractive, short, toned, and tan - yes I will check your tanlines because that's hot.

I don't care about your breasts or your ass as long as their not deformed. Your face and hair is actually what I'm all about. Guys should hit on you everyday but you tell them off because they're lame with their unoriginal lines. Bitch you're not an angel from heaven, you're a bad little girl that's probably going to hell because of all the naughty things you do with your college girlfriends. Oh well, good thing you don't believe in that crap anyways.

Second, and even more importantly, you have to be really super fun and playful. And funny, with a good sense of humor that "get's it". I'm going to make you laugh like a little nervous school girl, and when you can breathe, you better not be a boring bitch that talks about your daddy's benz unless it's about the amazing roadhead you're going to give me in it while I drive it against daddy's wishes.

Speaking of which, there's going to be copious amounts of sex. In fact, everything is sex. I will look at you, and it'll be sex. I will drink a fucking glass of water, and you'll get turned on just by watching me. I will smell your delicious perfume and want to ravish you against my wall. You'll get wet just hearing me talk. Everything will be sex, and it will be amazing and you'll love it. Sex on the beach? No, sex in the fucking ocean riding on dolphins while in a mother fucking boat with a built-in aquarium in the Caribbean at 3am under a full moon. See, even the boring sex sounds good.

You'll probably be a bitch and tell me what to do because you're so used to these pussy guys that you can walk over. Sorry, but I'm going to fucking put you in your place and spank you when you're out of line. But it's okay, because I care about you enough to not get away with that shit and you thank me for it. Even when I pretend to be flustered it's just to make sure you're not crazy.

You have to love your dad too. It's pretty much a rule, so if you got daddy issues, stay the fuck away. Oh, don't be a puppy kicker either, that's just fucked up. But if a rabid dog does come to eat you, I will not hesitate to puppy punt that fucker with my rainbow sandals to save your cute little ass. Ok, so maybe I do care if you have a nice ass.

I know you have a lot of options and don't need me, good. That neediness is annoying, but respect me and my time - blow me off and you're gone - I respect others and expect the same. I'll call you whenever I want: once a week, 4 times in a day, with a text.. who knows, I'll keep you on your feet. But that feeling of curiosity and excitement might just make you crave me, so you might as well just surrender now so we can just get to the beach adventures and sex faster without all the pretense and bullshit.

Right, so the beach. It's not everything, but I live pretty close, so you'll have to come over in that fucking cute bikini with all your hot girlfriends and join me. We'll go down, and laugh at all the pathetic attempts other guys try to hit on you - haha I love that shit.

Oh, and we'll have to do 3 normal things before I take you to the really epic shit. I'm an excellent judge of character, and even though I have to be super blunt in this, am a really amazing guy, and expect the same from you. So message me now with your facebook or whatever else you want so I know you're not a crazy bitch and I'll see about getting back to you.

PS. If you're just here for funsies to laugh at all the pathetic posts, do me a favor and tell your cute girlfriends I want to talk to them, because it's summer and I know they're single and want to get laid.


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## Zowie (Jun 16, 2010)

I'm in love. Give me this guy's email, so I can send him a shitty picture in a dark mirror with my hair in my face that hides my acne.



I saw a cat chasing a marmot. And then the marmot turned around and the cat ran away. FTW, marmot.


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## RentonBob (Jun 16, 2010)

I got another fake profile from a dating site trying to suck me in LOL.... It really is amazing how many American girls go to West Africa, Ghana and Nigeria to look for antiques for their business that their dead parents left them. Do they really think that I am going to be that stupid? LOL


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## chicken legs (Jun 16, 2010)

A vid posted by smithnwesson over in the lounge on the Random Youtube links thread. They dubbed this cute voice for this sleepy cat that doesn't want to wake up:happy:.


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## escapist (Jun 16, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> A vid posted by smithnwesson over in the lounge on the Random Youtube links thread. They dubbed this cute voice for this sleepy cat that doesn't want to wake up:happy:.



OMG she showed me that early this morning, Freaking Killed me! :happy:


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## escapist (Jun 16, 2010)

Man I wanna go on this flight next time I go!


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## JenFromOC (Jun 16, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> A vid posted by smithnwesson over in the lounge on the Random Youtube links thread. They dubbed this cute voice for this sleepy cat that doesn't want to wake up:happy:.



LOLOLOL That was so funny


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## NYC_FFA (Jun 17, 2010)

So this morning, I'm on Skype doing pre-marital counseling with my fiance, and we're chatting with our pastor about conflict resolution. The pastor is talking about the healthy ways to deal with anger and disagreement, and he says, "You can't say, 'Why would you do that? I don't understand, you stupid bitch!'" I looked at my fiance over Skype like, "Did I misunderstand him? Did he just say what I think he just said?" And the pastor didn't even realize for a moment what he had said and then goes, "Oh geez, sorry about that. Didn't mean to use that word..."

I love it when religious people accidentally swear. It makes my day.


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## WillSpark (Jun 17, 2010)

NYC_FFA said:


> So this morning, I'm on Skype doing pre-marital counseling with my fiance, and we're chatting with our pastor about conflict resolution. The pastor is talking about the healthy ways to deal with anger and disagreement, and he says, "You can't say, 'Why would you do that? I don't understand, you stupid bitch!'" I looked at my fiance over Skype like, "Did I misunderstand him? Did he just say what I think he just said?" And the pastor didn't even realize for a moment what he had said and then goes, "Oh geez, sorry about that. Didn't mean to use that word..."
> 
> I love it when religious people accidentally swear. It makes my day.



They don't even have to swear for me to laugh at them.


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## Melian (Jun 17, 2010)

Pigeon pooped on a guy in a suit today, while I was walking in the business district.

I almost died laughing, and barely managed not to fall in my new heels.


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## Zowie (Jun 17, 2010)

NYC_FFA said:


> So this morning, I'm on Skype doing pre-marital counseling with my fiance, and we're chatting with our pastor about conflict resolution. The pastor is talking about the healthy ways to deal with anger and disagreement, and he says, "You can't say, 'Why would you do that? I don't understand, you stupid bitch!'" I looked at my fiance over Skype like, "Did I misunderstand him? Did he just say what I think he just said?" And the pastor didn't even realize for a moment what he had said and then goes, "Oh geez, sorry about that. Didn't mean to use that word..."
> 
> I love it when religious people accidentally swear. It makes my day.



Hahaha, I think the best, a couple of years ago I was in church for my brother's confirmation, and the priest's assistant triped over something and dropped the plate of hosts, and let out a really loud "Ostie d'Tabarnak!"

Basically, it's the worst swear here, and it was especially ironic considering all the curses are church related. Ostie is the host, and Tabarnak is actually tabernacle.

The priest looked like he was going to kick this kid's ass to high heaven as soon as everyone left.
Not being a good catholic, I thought it was hilarious.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9U72QVCgh_Q


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## Tad (Jun 17, 2010)

What is making me laugh is reading some of the picture threads in this board....I have the pictures turned off, it is just reading the banter back and forth that is cracking me up!


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## pineapplechertdog (Jun 12, 2011)

realizing that I'm post on a thread thats almost a year old.


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## HDANGEL15 (Jun 12, 2011)

pineapplechertdog said:


> realizing that I'm post on a thread thats almost a year old.



otherwise known as *NECRO-POSTING*


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## FishCharming (Jun 13, 2011)

pineapplechertdog said:


> realizing that I'm post on a thread thats almost a year old.



necroposting leads to thread zombies...


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## Surlysomething (Jun 13, 2011)

High school cliquey bullshit on message boards.


Always makes me chuckle and do a few of these .


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## FishCharming (Jun 13, 2011)

Surlysomething said:


> High school cliquey bullshit on message boards.
> 
> 
> Always makes me chuckle and do a few of these .



Haha..........


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## Surlysomething (Jun 13, 2011)

FishCharming said:


> Haha..........


 

I assume you're seeing your self in my post.


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## Sasquatch! (Jun 13, 2011)

Surlysomething said:


> I assume you're seeing your self in my post.



Meh, your posts tend to be pickled in such passive aggressive misanthropy that it's hard for anyone not to feel attacked by them. 

Haha.


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## Surlysomething (Jun 13, 2011)

Sasquatch! said:


> Meh, your posts tend to be pickled in such passive aggressive misanthropy that it's hard for anyone not to feel attacked by them.
> 
> Haha.


 

I'm sorry, who are you again? And trust me. If I had anything to say to anyone personally, I would. People vent on message boards, i'm surprised you haven't figured that out yet. But then again, you don't have too many original thoughts, do you. Piggy-backing on everyone else's posts seems to be what you do best.


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## Sasquatch! (Jun 13, 2011)

Surlysomething said:


> I'm sorry, who are you again? And trust me. If I had anything to say to anyone personally, I would. People vent on message boards, i'm surprised you haven't figured that out yet. But then again, you don't have too many original thoughts, do you. Piggy-backing on everyone else's posts seems to be what you do best.



Meh. Piggy-backing is what pigs do, right?


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## Surlysomething (Jun 13, 2011)

Sasquatch! said:


> Meh. Piggy-backing is what pigs do, right?


 

What does Meh mean? Wait, don't answer that. I don't care.

You clearly don't like me and I obviously don't like you. Let's do each other a favour and use the block button.


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## Sasquatch! (Jun 13, 2011)

Surlysomething said:


> What does Meh mean? Wait, don't answer that. I don't care.
> 
> You clearly don't like me and I obviously don't like you. Let's do each other a favour and use the block button.



That's a good idea, actually.

definition of "meh"


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## Paquito (Jun 13, 2011)

Haha.

Sorry, just thinking about something hilarious a person in our clique said yesterday. What's up?


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## JulieD (Jun 13, 2011)

Paquito said:


> Haha.
> 
> Sorry, just thinking about something hilarious a person in our clique said yesterday. What's up?



Haha. I was thinking of the same funny thing! Man, I'm so glad that this thread was brought back, if nothing more then to be able to simply demonstrate our united cliquory together with our fellow clique mates...
In the real world its called "co-signing"


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## Surlysomething (Jun 13, 2011)

Paquito said:


> Haha.
> 
> Sorry, just thinking about something hilarious a person in our clique said yesterday. What's up?


 

Your 'maturity' never fails to astound me.


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## Surlysomething (Jun 13, 2011)

JulieD said:


> Haha. I was thinking of the same funny thing! Man, I'm so glad that this thread was brought back, if nothing more then to be able to simply demonstrate our united cliquory together with our fellow clique mates...
> In the real world its called "co-signing"


 

Yours either.


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## Goreki (Jun 14, 2011)

Overtiredness and woe. I laughed like crazy at myself. And maybe you. Haha!


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