# What 'derp' / 'doh' moment did you have today?



## Xyantha Reborn (Mar 31, 2015)

Not explicitly for this forum but then some others are not too!  can be today, or in the past. Call it a brainfart, facepalm, doh moment...embarrassing or funny!

I was frothing at the mouth mad at our IT helpdesk because they claimed i was mistaken - that the form i usually filled out had never existed in the first place.

Me: "Its VIP like Victory, Indigo, Paul!"

Hapless helpdesk agent: "What does V-I-P stand for?"

Me: "Virtual....
...
...
...
IP!!!" 

I literally blanked out on a term i use all the time in an industry i have been in for half a decade. Had to put the call on hold and ask the guy next to me (um, internet protocol, you on crack??) Needless to say my entire team was roaring with laughter, and i have a feeling i wont live this down for a while.:doh::doh:


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## loopytheone (Mar 31, 2015)

Haha, awww, well I would have been laughing with you, not at you!

I have these moments all the time to be honest. I think the most recent one of note would be this weekend, when I let my dog in from outside where it had been raining. She walked across the tiled floor and got water everywhere and I watched her slip and fall over and thought 'awww, how cute!'.

Guess what I did immediately upon thinking that! :doh: I am absolutely fine so I get to laugh at myself!


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## BigChaz (Apr 1, 2015)

I shook hands with the vice president of a company I am working on a partnership with. I asked him who he was.

Whoops.


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## tankyguy (Apr 1, 2015)

BigChaz said:


> I shook hands with the vice president of a company I am working on a partnership with. I asked him who he was.
> 
> Whoops.



Next time, ask first before you say who _you_ are. Then if it's someone who's name you should know, you can give them a fake, wait a week and then reintroduce yourself.


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## youareneverready (Apr 2, 2015)

Last week I had a pretty productive evening after working all day and was feeling quite responsible and mature (and pleased with myself)...until I went to take my coat off and realised the zipper was stuck and I was trapped. Went instantly from feeling like I may have turned into a 'proper' adult to feeling like a 5-year old.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Apr 2, 2015)

I heard there was going to me a mike XXL and i was sooooo excited for about 30 seconds until i realized it wasnt waist size they were referring to. Lol...i am a looser.


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## Tad (Apr 2, 2015)

My wife texted to say that our son is going out with friends tonight, and that while she'd started supper she could put it aside if i wanted to go out to watch the hockey game. I was like "really, wow?" and was starting to scramble to see what tickets were still available.....

then she clarified she meant go out to a pub to get dinner and watch the game on the TV there. Which is still nice and all, but not quite the same.

(we ditched our cable, so can't watch easily from home)


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 2, 2015)

I was checking a patient out today and asked a coworker to look at his walkout with me to ensure I was charging him properly.
She pointed out that they wouldn't be doing a build up and putting a crown on a tooth......that had been extracted i.e. was no longer there.

DOH :doh:


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## Xyantha Reborn (Apr 2, 2015)

youareneverready said:


> Last week I had a pretty productive evening after working all day and was feeling quite responsible and mature (and pleased with myself)...until I went to take my coat off and realised the zipper was stuck and I was trapped. Went instantly from feeling like I may have turned into a 'proper' adult to feeling like a 5-year old.


 
That makes me panic, rage, and usually I end up Hulking my way out of it and destroying the clothing.

These are all awesome btw.


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## MsBrightside (Apr 8, 2015)

Fun thread idea, Xyantha. 

^I'm terrible with zippers, too. Especially on sleeping bags. Is it some kind of girl thing?

Sometimes my derp "moments" last a really long time. I have a friend that I called Michelle for the first six weeks after I met her, even though her name is actually Connie. :doh: 

Another one was when one of the forum members here alluded to someone being 420-friendly: my first thought was that it was some kind of size reference.


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## lucca23v2 (Apr 8, 2015)

I have brain farts all the time. What normally happens to me is, I decide i need something and i take the 3 steps i need to take to pick up the item, and in those 3 steps I totally forget what it is that I turned around to get. :doh:


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## Xyantha Reborn (Apr 29, 2015)

I walked into the mens washroom and actually wondered why they would have urinals before i realized my mistake and ran out!!!


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## Dr. Feelgood (Apr 29, 2015)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> I walked into the mens washroom and actually wondered why they would have urinals before i realized my mistake and ran out!!!



In my family we make a specialty of this. At least once I have walked into the men's restroom and wondered why they DIDN'T have urinals until... My aunt, visiting her son in Venezuela (where he was working for an American oil company) knew no Spanish, so when she got caught short in the airline terminal, she reasoned that since "women" is a longer word than "men", and "caballeros" is a longer word than "damas"...:doh:


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## ALS (May 7, 2015)

One of coworkers is tall, skinny, and has a small spare tire. I keep imagining him gaining weight. We are both new to my company. I need to get my shit together. Unfortunately, I can't stop fantasizing about him.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 11, 2015)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> I walked into the mens washroom and actually wondered why they would have urinals before i realized my mistake and ran out!!!



I did that once in a fast food restaurant. In my defense, I was shit-faced at the time.


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## Xyantha Reborn (May 11, 2015)

I had no such defense!


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## youareneverready (May 12, 2015)

Had to go to the bank to reset security stuff...again, since I forgot. There's just too many random numbers to remember!


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## Xyantha Reborn (May 12, 2015)

Bank stuff is the worst! I lost my bank card a while back. Got a new one, and lost it the next day. I was so embarrassed i went to a different branch location to get ANOTHER one.


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## Yakatori (May 12, 2015)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> "_In my family we make a specialty of this. At least once I have walked into the men's restroom and wondered why they DIDN'T have urinals until... My aunt, visiting her son in Venezuela (where he was working for an American oil company) knew no Spanish, so when she got caught short in the airline terminal, she reasoned that since "women" is a longer word than "men", and "caballeros" is a longer word than "damas"...:doh:_"


It's said that genius can be most crudely described as an ability to recognize patterns. Which probably also speaks how it relates to insanity as well.



MsBrightside said:


> "_..forum members here alluded to someone being 420-friendly: my first thought was that it was some kind of size reference. .._"


Sometimes I just hear what I want to. So, to me _420_ immediately conjures up that we're about set to some deep-cleaning:

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=370MmAl8NOs[/ame]

Although, strangely enough, maybe it's because just saying _409_ means something entirely different as well:

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuUfidbM_nM[/ame]



MsBrightside said:


> "_...I have a friend that I called Michelle for the first six weeks after I met her, even though her name is actually Connie..._"


Heh...I think this what Aussies like, a fair amount, this kind of thing is what they're into: [ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFGnHe8edgY[/ame]


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## Amaranthine (May 12, 2015)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> Bank stuff is the worst! I lost my bank card a while back. Got a new one, and lost it the next day. I was so embarrassed i went to a different branch location to get ANOTHER one.



I third the dislike of bank stuff. I hate having to use the phone for most things, and I got locked out of my online banking account because of getting my password wrong too many times (which only happens because they require you to change it to something novel every 6 months. Come on.) I finally called, got it reset, and then proceeded to get all my security questions wrong. I think it's probably been a solid year after the fact and I don't really miss online banking. If I could do any of it in person, I might have gotten it back by now.

Also, what's up with places that have mostly arbitrary security question choices? I certainly hope there's not many people who have the same favorite restaurant for years and years and remember this in the depths of their heart. It's probably the kind of person who inputs "Applebee's" too. At least the street I grew up on never changes.


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## lucca23v2 (May 15, 2015)

Amaranthine said:


> Also, what's up with places that have mostly arbitrary security question choices? I certainly hope there's not many people who have the same favorite restaurant for years and years and remember this in the depths of their heart. It's probably the kind of person who inputs "Applebee's" too. At least the street I grew up on never changes.


 
I *HATE *when these ask those dumb questions. I get questions like, Your nickname as a child, where were you born, the year you graduate HS, those things are constant and don't change, but those other ones.,. ugh. I have reached the point where I have a digital list of my passwords for every account.

As far as changing them every six months, don't get me started. At work I have to change my password every 45 days! Like seriously?!?!.. how the fuck am I suppose to remember a new password every 45 days.. come on!

Damn hackers! they make life so hard...


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## lille (May 15, 2015)

I decided that incase of zombie apocalypse I really do need to get my cardio back in order so I've started C25K (for the second time). All was going well, I was almost half way through when I tried to switch between the C25K app and my music to skip a song, dropped my phone over the side of the treadmill, which jerked my headphones out, mumbled "shit", then in the process of looking to see where the phone ended up hit the side of the treadmill with one foot, tripped, and almost face-planted. Somehow I saved myself and slowed the treadmill down and salvaged my phone and what was left of my dignity. Thank god it was fairly dead in there today.


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## Xyantha Reborn (May 15, 2015)

The problem with the easy security questions are that either any person can socially engineer the answer, or you try and be smarty smart and come up with some crazy answer, which you can never remember. Like hiding money from yourself or something...

Treadmill falls are always epic! I feel like am idiot on the treadmill - this guy makes me so jealous, because i love dancing but could never even aspire to this. If i tried i would kill myself.

[ame]http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IWu9o5zrj3g[/ame]


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## youareneverready (May 17, 2015)

lille said:


> I decided that incase of zombie apocalypse I really do need to get my cardio back in order so I've started C25K (for the second time). All was going well, I was almost half way through when I tried to switch between the C25K app and my music to skip a song, dropped my phone over the side of the treadmill, which jerked my headphones out, mumbled "shit", then in the process of looking to see where the phone ended up hit the side of the treadmill with one foot, tripped, and almost face-planted. Somehow I saved myself and slowed the treadmill down and salvaged my phone and what was left of my dignity. Thank god it was fairly dead in there today.



Ever heard of this?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zombies,_Run!


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## lille (May 17, 2015)

youareneverready said:


> Ever heard of this?
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zombies,_Run!



Haha, I have seen it, never tried it though.


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## Xyantha Reborn (May 18, 2015)

So on Friday I wore a pretty blue and white dress into work. The zipper was finicky so I did it up and pulled it over my head like a slip. The design was super tight around the bust, flaring out over the hips to the knees. It was so tight arond the chest that I had to lift the girls up one at a time by the over the shoulder boulder holder strap. I felt kind of like a woman wearing a corset; every time I breathed I could feel them strain to escape (I was wearing a covering cartigan thingy)

Anywho, I got home and realized...I couldn't get out of it. I couldn't undo the zipper in the back, and it was so tight around the boobs/shoulders slipping out of it took like ten minutes. I was bent over, ass in the air, shoulders over my head, desperately trying to wriggle out of the damn thing and trying not to have a panic attack! I almost considered cutting it off, if it wasn't so pretty. 

I was like...why did you not consider the exit criteria when you could had to work to get it ON!? UGH!!!!


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## loopytheone (May 19, 2015)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> So on Friday I wore a pretty blue and white dress into work. The zipper was finicky so I did it up and pulled it over my head like a slip. The design was super tight around the bust, flaring out over the hips to the knees. It was so tight arond the chest that I had to lift the girls up one at a time by the over the shoulder boulder holder strap. I felt kind of like a woman wearing a corset; every time I breathed I could feel them strain to escape (I was wearing a covering cartigan thingy)
> 
> Anywho, I got home and realized...I couldn't get out of it. I couldn't undo the zipper in the back, and it was so tight around the boobs/shoulders slipping out of it took like ten minutes. I was bent over, ass in the air, shoulders over my head, desperately trying to wriggle out of the damn thing and trying not to have a panic attack! I almost considered cutting it off, if it wasn't so pretty.
> 
> I was like...why did you not consider the exit criteria when you could had to work to get it ON!? UGH!!!!



Hahahaha! This sounds so much like something I would do! xD


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## lille (May 19, 2015)

Getting suck in dresses is the worst. Something about the feeling of being trapped in fabric triggers deep instinctual terror. And the panicked flailing just makes you more stuck because now you're sweaty.


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## Tad (May 19, 2015)

I had not realized how terrifying dresses could be 

=========================

When on the third and last trip of the weekend to Home Depot for supplies for the patio we were re-building, wife and I were intending to pick up four 8”x8” stones to replace two of our broken 8” x 16” ones, as the 8”x16” are not available anymore. Turns out that the 8”x8” aren’t available anymore either, so we agreed we’d use 4”x8” bricks….and picked up only four bricks, not the eight we’d need. So until we can endure another trip out to Home Depot, we are still using one of the broken blocks. In our defense, by this point we were exhausted from a couple of days of way more manual labour than we are accustomed to, and we were rushing as it was starting to rain….but it was still a definite &#8216;derp!’


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## lucca23v2 (May 19, 2015)

Tad.. that is just the dress... if you happen to have spanks on while all this is happening, that is a whole other hell...lol


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## Tad (May 19, 2015)

lucca23v2 said:


> Tad.. that is just the dress... if you happen to have spanks on while all this is happening, that is a whole other hell...lol



Spanx clearly are terrifying, I think anyone could see that! (although, from an FA point of view, seeing your plump partner squeeze their squishy areas in or out of a pair would be pretty cool, if it wasn't for the feeling sorry that they were fighting with a torture device)


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## Surlysomething (May 19, 2015)

Lost my balance and fell off the bed last night. Thanks MS.

Haha


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## agouderia (May 20, 2015)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> So on Friday I wore a pretty blue and white dress into work. The zipper was finicky so I did it up and pulled it over my head like a slip. The design was super tight around the bust, flaring out over the hips to the knees. It was so tight arond the chest that I had to lift the girls up one at a time by the over the shoulder boulder holder strap. I felt kind of like a woman wearing a corset; every time I breathed I could feel them strain to escape (I was wearing a covering cartigan thingy)
> 
> Anywho, I got home and realized...I couldn't get out of it. I couldn't undo the zipper in the back, and it was so tight around the boobs/shoulders slipping out of it took like ten minutes. I was bent over, ass in the air, shoulders over my head, desperately trying to wriggle out of the damn thing and trying not to have a panic attack! I almost considered cutting it off, if it wasn't so pretty.
> 
> I was like...why did you not consider the exit criteria when you could had to work to get it ON!? UGH!!!!



Oh God - I can totally relate to your situation! Down to having to fit in the 'girls' one by one .....

My worst experience of this type was attending an orthodox baptism (they take their time...) in Greece one baking hot July late afternoon. Put on very pretty, fitted tight turquoise dress with lining (the latter a major mistake) and a long, finicky and pretty delicate plastic back zipper. 

In the church it was hotter than in a sauna, you could see the sweat pouring off the guests. At home, when I tried to take off the dress - I couldn't. The plastic zipper had melted from the heat, the zipper teeth had amalgamated into each other and could no longer be opened. Had to get someone to pull it off over my head..... and get a new zipper sewn in!


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## Xyantha Reborn (May 21, 2015)

Dresses are pure evil LOL

Ouch Surly! I hope you are ok! On the weekend I laid on the lounger part of our sectional sideways (because to this day I tend to sprawl across furniture like a child) and totally misjudged how much room I had so I literally fell right onto the ground. 

My dogs were like "MOMMY DOWN! MOMMY DOWN! VERIFICATION OF INJURY IS NEEDED, GO GO GO!" and I had two highly concerned puppies in my face. The ten month old is a clutz, so he helpfully stepped on my arm and bonked me in the eye with his nose while the older one lay across my torso like "I will keep you warm until help arrives!"

I think the funniest part was that after ascertaining I wasn't hurt (I couldn't stop laughing) my guy just carried on with the conversation like it was (I guess it is?) normal for me to fall over mid convo and be molested by my dogs. 

I do tend to fall and trip a fair bit. During our agility I was literally just standing still then simply fell over - I literally don't know how except to blame a lack of caffeine.


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## Surlysomething (May 21, 2015)

Hahaha. Too funny.

I'm fine. I can only imagine what it looked like while it was happening though... :doh:




Xyantha Reborn said:


> VERIFICATION OF INJURY IS NEEDED, GO GO GO!"


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## Tad (May 21, 2015)

A lack of caffeine is always a good excuse 

For that matter, I've had a lot of misadventures from trying to make coffee in the morning before having had coffee...


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 30, 2015)

Tad said:


> A lack of caffeine is always a good excuse
> 
> For that matter, I've had a lot of misadventures from trying to make coffee in the morning before having had coffee...





Hence I keep a gallon of iced tea in my fridge


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## Xyantha Reborn (Jun 11, 2015)

That moment when you spell a word in Word, figuring it will auto correct or assist you with the word. (I just can't remember some words)

circumphrance.

and it's like ...sorry chicka, I have no idea what you meant.

circumphrence.

???

circumferance

Ooooohhh you mean _circumference_!!!!

...Yeah. Thanks, jerk.


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## MsBrightside (Jun 30, 2015)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> That moment when you spell a word in Word, figuring it will auto correct or assist you with the word. (I just can't remember some words)
> 
> circumphrance.
> 
> ...


When I used to work in Bethesda, MD, autocorrect always tried to replace "Bethesda" with "Beheads." Gee, thanks. 

Just came back from visiting the home of an acquaintance for the first time; but before I made it to her house I went to the door of another house with the same house number on a different street. :doh: The man who answered the door was beyond nice; he even apologized that I had to get out in the rain before realizing my mistake (like my stupidity was his fault somehow? ) and pointed me in the right direction. This sort of thing is why I love my town!


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## dwesterny (Jul 5, 2015)

Happened a week ago, not today but... Walking onto stairs I brushed against the wrought iron banister which just happened to go right into the belt loop on my pants. Got jerked to an abrupt halt by it then had a rather hard time getting un-snagged because the end had this tight curley Q that was easy to go over one way but I had to work out of the curl to go over the other way. I'm standing there pulling on my pants and wiggling my hips up and down to try and get unhooked. Luckily no one walked up during this performance.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Jul 10, 2015)

I was walking with purpose (meaning striding firmly and quickly). I reached forward and pressed on the bar of the door to open it to go through...and apparently didn't fully depress it, because a fraction of a second later I slammed face first into the closed door. 

In full view of the cafeteria (about 150 people)

I had to turn around, jerk my thumb towards the door, roll my eyes at myself, then give the thumbs up to the people who were half AHAHAHA / half omg is she ok?? before scurrying away. 

Remember, Xyantha. Finish step A before executing step B...


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## dwesterny (Jul 10, 2015)

I once cracked an egg into my coffee instead of the frying pan.


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## lucca23v2 (Jul 10, 2015)

Here is a "derp" "doh" moment. I normally shake my bottled juices/iced tea before I drink them. Well a few days ago, apparently I had already done this and opened the drink and recapped it. Only I forgot to tighten the lid so it was just placed on the bottle. I being absent minded, followed my routine of shaking the bottle before drinking and managed to spill half of the bottle in my lap at work! :doh: Thankfully I keep extra clothes at work due to long (20 plus) hours during certain times of the year. I was able to shower and change, but.. yeah.. I was feeling :doh: all day long.


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## Tad (Jul 10, 2015)

Ouch Xyantha! And glad you had spare clothes, Lucca.

Here was mine today. I was eating lunch at my desk, reading an article on the computer. This morning, in a rush, I'd thrown left over 'Israeli couscous' (basically small pasta balls) and a sausage together into a plastic bowl with a lid. After I'd eaten the majority of the couscous I figured I should be able to cut into the sausage with my spoon, so attempted to do so without really paying attention to what I was doing. The sausage was tougher than I thought, so spun away, sweeping across the bowl, launching the remaining couscous all over my desk, computer, and the floor around me.

Five minutes later I'd finished picking up all the little bits and wiping the slight greasiness off of everything (well, except the carpet).

Next time I'll get up and get a knife and fork!


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## Xyantha Reborn (Jul 22, 2015)

I seem to be contributing to this thread alot. Apparently i am an airhead!

So i am an avid enough cooker/baker that i have a lot of cooking supplies. They are on open shelving. I grabbed my ice cream maker bowl and looked into it, realized it was dusty - and get this - blew into it to clear the dust before i washed it.

I have no idea what i thought was going to happen, but the result was a cloud of dust in my face. Now my eyes are all itchy. Geh.

But i am going to make smores ice cream cake for my cyberpunk game tomorrow... Its just a pre battle wound!!


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## dwesterny (Jul 22, 2015)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> I seem to be contributing to this thread alot. Apparently i am an airhead!
> 
> So i am an avid enough cooker/baker that i have a lot of cooking supplies. They are on open shelving. I grabbed my ice cream maker bowl and looked into it, realized it was dusty - and get this - blew into it to clear the dust before i washed it.
> 
> ...



Nothing says punk like smores ice cream. Is this some LARP or RP thing?

Also owning an ice cream maker makes you an incredible FFA...


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## Xyantha Reborn (Jul 22, 2015)

dwesterny said:


> Also owning an ice cream maker makes you an incredible FFA...



I know  (i also have the pasta attachment and make home made pasta etc)

Its role playing like d&d except set in a failed futur (almost not future, its 2020) usa with guns 

That will be a doh moment indeed. When we are playing in the past for 2020 not the future


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## dwesterny (Jul 22, 2015)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> I know  (i also have the pasta attachment and make home made pasta etc)
> 
> Its role playing like d&d except set in a failed futur (almost not future, its 2020) usa with guns
> 
> That will be a doh moment indeed. When we are playing in the past for 2020 not the future



Well you can make the pasta but where I grew up the men always made the pasta sauce. It's srs bsns. 

USA with guns as fantasy? Seems more like reality playing game. Erm, I shall hide if any political discussion breaks out around that comment...


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## loopytheone (Aug 1, 2015)

This was on thursday rather than today, but never mind!

Anyway, last thursday night as I went to get into bed, I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. Thinking it might be a spider or dirt or something in my hair, I reached out to grab it and found it... stuck to my hair. Closer inspection revealed it was a price sticker from the Lighthouse charity shop, declaring me to be worth £1.50.

Even better? That was the charity shop I went into just before my interview that day. I went through an interview inadvertately labelled myself as £1.50. :doh:


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## dwesterny (Aug 1, 2015)

loopytheone said:


> a price sticker from the Lighthouse charity shop, declaring me to be worth £1.50.


**Reaches for wallet** That's a bargain, sold!


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## dwesterny (Aug 9, 2015)

I am pretty sure I put dishwasher pods in with my laundry instead of laundry detergent pods.


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## Tad (Aug 12, 2015)

I totally forgot about a meeting I'd booked for this morning, and was away from my desk when the reminder popped up. Only good fortune brought me back into the vicinity a couple of minutes after it was supposed to start, when one of the people was at my desk wondering if I was coming. :doh:

In other news, my head feels like it is full of cotton batting today.... and I have to deal with auditors this afternoon. Blech!


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## Xyantha Reborn (Aug 12, 2015)

Dwesterny - lol, well soap is soap is soap, right?

@Tad Internal or external? External audits are worse, IMO...

---

I am so tired i was roasting bones for broth and laid down in the couch. Eyes popped open at the smell of overcooking bones. Doh...they were ok but ugh, bad bad bad to fall asleep while cooking!!


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## dwesterny (Aug 12, 2015)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> Dwesterny - lol, well soap is soap is soap, right?
> 
> @Tad Internal or external? External audits are worse, IMO...
> 
> ...



Yes, my clothes came out with no water spots. So all good.

I always set my cell phone timer because I have burned soup. Technically, if it is made from bones it's stock not broth. The bones give it a higher gelatin content making it richer and more full bodied. You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line"! and only slightly less well known then that: "Never make a mistake involving food around fat people and expect to get away with it" :eat1::eat1::eat1:


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## Xyantha Reborn (Aug 12, 2015)

Ha! Oh, the horror, oh, the humanity!! See, i am just so used to my food being so good that people are too busy stuffing it in their face to correct me. 

"Well, is it good or not!!!?!?"

"Cant talk. Busy eating."


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## dwesterny (Aug 12, 2015)

I recall you saying you were making smores ice cream not long ago. All can be forgiven for those who make ice cream.


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## loopytheone (Aug 12, 2015)

dwesterny said:


> I recall you saying you were making smores ice cream not long ago. All can be forgiven for those who make ice cream.



I would like to mention that I can make dairy-free coconut-chocolate ice cream!


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## Tad (Aug 12, 2015)

> @Tad Internal or external? External audits are worse, IMO...



It was just inventory verification. We have very little inventory, but this is the first year we've had enough that the (external) auditors actually bothered to come and do a check. It went fine, but it was a pain because our chips are all sealed in anti-static/moisture-barrier bags, so to actually count anything had to cut the bags open, cut off the straps to seperate the brick of trays, then after thirty seconds of counting re-strap the trays and re-seal the bag. I'm glad I wore shorts today, the store room gets hot! (and as usual up here, it was an accounting new grad who was more confused than we were, so all was fine)



loopytheone said:


> I would like to mention that I can make dairy-free coconut-chocolate ice cream!



:bow: :bow: :bow:


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## lucca23v2 (Aug 15, 2015)

On Monday I noticed my wrist watch was dead..so what do I do.. I keep wearing the watch the rest of the week..:doh: 

What is the point in wearing it if it can no longer tell time. Routines.. ugh..
:doh::doh::doh:


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## ODFFA (Aug 15, 2015)

So, I take Saturday morning French classes because it's ridiculous that I've been dabbling in the language for so many years and can't speak it near-fluently yet. This morning, we were asked if we remembered what the word _descendre_ means. 

I had my smartass wannabe-linguist hat on, so instead of saying "to descend," like most would be tempted to, I answered "to go down or to get off." *Cue the class's blush-chuckle moment of the day!* Couldn't help thinking to myself: oh boy, we're having french class NOW  :blush: Monsieur le professeur had an especially good chuckle to himself about it.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Aug 18, 2015)

Thats awesome!!

I gave someone else a doh moment. I used to date a polish guy and was in Poland for two weeks, so i know the tinest bit of polish. Like, a tiny bit.

This guy was on the phone talking to his wife and he said (roughly) "ill be home at 6, lets eat on the couch, these people are dumbasses. thanks bye".

So out of respect (because people have a crap load of trouble with polish names, i politely asked him "do you prefer jay or Janusz? And Dont worry, we will be done by six!" And he looked so thunderstruck and "doh". 

I barely caught his meaning, but I knew "kanapa" "dupka" and a few other words. I let him think i could understand more than that. I can only spell this phoentically, but "moi ...ex?...hoopak uche minyay polskego". I can say yes, please, couch and socks! Just enough to embarass a man for being a douche and talking about people in plain sight!!


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## Wanderer (Aug 24, 2015)

ODFFA said:


> So, I take Saturday morning French classes because it's ridiculous that I've been dabbling in the language for so many years and can't speak it near-fluently yet. This morning, we were asked if we remembered what the word _descendre_ means.
> 
> I had my smartass wannabe-linguist hat on, so instead of saying "to descend," like most would be tempted to, I answered "to go down or to get off." *Cue the class's blush-chuckle moment of the day!* Couldn't help thinking to myself: oh boy, we're having french class NOW  :blush: Monsieur le professeur had an especially good chuckle to himself about it.



It could have been worse. I learned the hard way when, in high school French II, I asked Mme. Attaway (my teacher):

Porquoi est-qu'on dit "j'ai chaud", et pas "je suis chaud"?

Which is grammatically correct, sure, but means:

Why does one say "I have heat" (I am hot) and not "I am hot" (I am horny)?

Mme. batted her eyes playfully at me just long enough for me to realize what had just come out of my mouth...

:blush:


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## ODFFA (Aug 25, 2015)

Wanderer said:


> It could have been worse. I learned the hard way when, in high school French II, I asked Mme. Attaway (my teacher):
> 
> Porquoi est-qu'on dit "j'ai chaud", et pas "je suis chaud"?
> 
> ...



Ah le francais! So many glorious little Freudian slips to be made. Just last week, too, we were warned about not confusing "une ex_posi_tion (d'art)" with "une ex_hibi_tion;" as in, "this weekend? Oh, I'll just be going to the museum to watch people take off their clothes." *Culturedly tosses hair over shoulder* 

No one would bat an eye if you said "art exhibition" in english, but in french, you'll soon be left wondering why your reputation has taken such a sudden dive.... or increased so vastly, depending on the crowd


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## Xyantha Reborn (Aug 25, 2015)

I love the subtlies and totally admire you both! Due to political reasons, kids in Canada are forced fed terrible french by bitter french teachers and we learn to hate it and them.

Now that i am older i want to learn the language but i not only dont have a place to practice daily, i dread not being able to communicate well or clearly, especially as. I would want to use it professionally..

------

That akward moment when you accidentally like a post on fb whole trying to
Scroll, in fact you dont like it...so you unlike it...but the person got a notification that you liked it. Like being uninvited to a party


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## lucca23v2 (Aug 25, 2015)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> I love the subtlies and totally admire you both! Due to political reasons, kids in Canada are forced fed terrible french by bitter french teachers and we learn to hate it and them.
> 
> Now that i am older i want to learn the language but i not only dont have a place to practice daily, i dread not being able to communicate well or clearly, especially as. I would want to use it professionally..
> 
> ...



Xy, you can try Rosetta Stone, they have an on-line course.. and towards the end of the course some where around the fourth month, you get to chat with people who are fluent in the language of your choice so that you get to practice and become fluent.

It is fun to be honest. I have it for Japanese. I am taking it slow though. My old brain does not pick up things as quickly as it use to. After Japanese I am doing Italian, then Russian, then french... I love languages.


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## ODFFA (Aug 25, 2015)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> That akward moment when you accidentally like a post on fb whole trying to Scroll, in fact you dont like it...so you unlike it...but the person got a notification that you liked it. Like being uninvited to a party



I'm pretty sure that's happened to me before too >_<



lucca23v2 said:


> After Japanese I am doing Italian, then Russian, then french... I love languages.



A woman after my own heart :happy: I only wish I had my language learning to-do list as sorted as you have yours. So much indecision. So much. :blink:


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## lucca23v2 (Aug 25, 2015)

ODFFA said:


> A woman after my own heart :happy: I only wish I had my language learning to-do list as sorted as you have yours. So much indecision. So much. :blink:



lol.. it is only decided because they were on sale when I purchased the Japanese program.. I kept going back and forth as to which ones I wanted to do. Japanese I chose first because there is a group of accountants that are Japanese and they seem to have trouble understanding some procedures because of the language barrier and I wanted to learn the language to make communication easier for everyone. 

I get frustrated when I try to explain something and I lack the ability to give someone full information.


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## dwesterny (Aug 26, 2015)

I got a message on a social media thing from someone I was talking to a month ago. I was supposed to email her at the time and I did. She said she thought I was not interested because she never got my email and just saw that I asked about it on the site. I suggested the email may have gone to spam a month ago. Then I said "I just resent it"and she logged off the site. Yeah, I meant re-sent. As in I had just re-sent her the e-mail. 

Yup. I am a bit bummed but it's also kinda funny too. 

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## Xyantha Reborn (Aug 26, 2015)

I dont get it - i reread this a few times. How else would it be interpreted? **blink**


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## dwesterny (Aug 26, 2015)

re·sent
r&#601;&#712;zent/
verb
feel bitterness or indignation at (a circumstance, action, or person).

As in I resented not hearing back after the e-mail I assume. The sentence definitely could have been interpreted that way.

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## Xyantha Reborn (Aug 26, 2015)

Omg! My brain totally autocorrected that in the context of the msg!!

Lmao that does suck, and it is kind of funny... She sounds a little stuck up tho 

I guess to me "i just resent it" doesnt really jive as an english sentence. " i resent that" maybe.

Yayz for english language fails


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## dwesterny (Aug 26, 2015)

I just resent it. 

Could be

I simply feel bitterness towards it (lack of response the best assumption).

Or

I recently sent it (the e-mail) again.

Semantics. I'm always up for semantics.

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## Xyantha Reborn (Aug 26, 2015)

I know - i get it now  my brain just doesnt aknowledge the validity of it. There are some sentences my brain just doesnt like or acknowledge to be valid.

Like "oh its a date" - yes, technically it could be "oh, it is a date!" As in an exclaimatjon about the fruit,but especially if it is in the context of a conversation, my brain is like nope. Invalid syntax.


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## MsBrightside (Sep 1, 2015)

I'm not sure what made me think of this, but the following is one of my very derpiest moments (I imagine those of you from New York or some of you other metropolitan types might find it rather amusing):

When I was in grad school, I lost my car key (derpy moment #1), and some friends were kind enough to take me home to get my spare key. I told them I would take a cab back to the parking lot to pick up my car, so they left; and I called a cab company and waited for it to show up. But that is the one and only time I have ever ridden in a cab, so I completely forgot passengers are supposed to get in the back seat. I opened the front passenger door and climbed right in as if we were besties, as the driver scrambled to move his logbooks, a paper bag that probably contained his dinner, a novel he had been reading, and other assorted belongings. That's when I realized my mistake, but it was too late to turn back! So I sat right there in the front seat with him and we chatted like old friends until we got to the St. Louis Arena (this was before city officials decided to blow it up) where my car was sitting, then he waited to make sure I got it started up before he left. He was really nice about the whole thing, but I still felt really really stupid.


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## Tad (Sep 1, 2015)

MsBrightside’s story reminds me of one of my all-time derpiest moments. I graduated university in the middle of a severe recession and it was hard to land even an interview. In months of job hunting I got only my third interview &#8211; in Montreal, most of two hours away from Ottawa (where I was &#8211; resentfully -- living back at home). I had to borrow my Mom’s car to drive there. Interview with HR went well, then I had to drive a convoluted route to another building where I interviewed with the group I’d be working with, and that also seemed to go well. 

When I went to leave, I discovered that I’d locked my keys in the car. We were in the middle of massive industrial park with neither a garage or a pay phone to be seen, and I didn’t even have a map. I ended up having to go back inside, explain the situation, and ask to borrow a phone book and their phone, and request info about what garages in the phone book might be remotely close to where we were. One of the guys there volunteered instead to call CAA (like AAA, but Canadian) on my behalf, pretending it was his card. We did that, and I eventually got underway.

I did get the job, but I never asked if my keys misadventure had influenced them one way or another.


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## MsBrightside (Sep 1, 2015)

Tad said:


> MsBrightsides story reminds me of one of my all-time derpiest moments. I graduated university in the middle of a severe recession and it was hard to land even an interview. In months of job hunting I got only my third interview  in Montreal, most of two hours away from Ottawa (where I was  resentfully -- living back at home). I had to borrow my Moms car to drive there. Interview with HR went well, then I had to drive a convoluted route to another building where I interviewed with the group Id be working with, and that also seemed to go well.
> 
> When I went to leave, I discovered that Id locked my keys in the car. We were in the middle of massive industrial park with neither a garage or a pay phone to be seen, and I didnt even have a map. I ended up having to go back inside, explain the situation, and ask to borrow a phone book and their phone, and request info about what garages in the phone book might be remotely close to where we were. One of the guys there volunteered instead to call CAA (like AAA, but Canadian) on my behalf, pretending it was his card. We did that, and I eventually got underway.
> 
> I did get the job, but I never asked if my keys misadventure had influenced them one way or another.


Oh, Tad, that does sound mortifying! At least I never had to face my cab driver again. 

I love that you got the job, though.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Sep 1, 2015)

Oh Tad, and ms b / i feel you!

I had a similar experience. I went for my interview, things went well. Got a call an hour later where a sexy voice asked me if this is how i got second dates.

I was like...wha? (Mentally about to hang up on the perv)

It was my interviewer and soon to be boss. I had left my purse in his office, and he joked for a year thats how i got all my second dates and interviews!


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## loopytheone (Sep 1, 2015)

At the farm on Saturday I was cleaning out this huge guinea pig pen with a young girl and just when we had finished I turned around and knocked the trough of food off the side and all over the floor. We both just looked at it for several minutes before I cleaned it up!


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## Xyantha Reborn (Sep 8, 2015)

Too bad i cant give you clumsy girl rep!

---

Im in the higher end of my weight comfort zone, so i pushed myself over the weekend to work out a bit more. While i was working out i felt fantastic - but i guess my muscles disliked how fast and hard i pushed them. This morning i tried to sit down on a chair and my thighs just gave out...i am hobbling like an old woman too.

My muscle memory still thinks i am more in shape than i am. Been active enough I should have known!! Doh I hurt...


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## Tad (Sep 8, 2015)

On Sunday W and I went for a bike ride that was reasonably long by our standards (probably around 30km?). Last Summer we’d done quite a few longish rides, but hadn’t quite gotten back into that rhythm this year. We were exploring some trail we hadn’t ridden on before, so at one point near the far end of our loop we had to stop and pull out the map, which of course had worked its way under everything else in my wife’s bike bags. We confirmed that we had just gone past our turn-off, so quickly turned around, cut across a park to cut a corner, and carried on our way, soon having a nice stretch along a dirt trail through a forest (which was very welcome because it was getting pretty warm by then, and it was noticeably cooler in amongst the trees.

Eventually, half way home, we made a planned stop at a coffee shop for cold drinks and snacks (and to fill up water bottles). But when my wife goes to lock up her bike, the &#8216;U’ part of her lock, and the long cable she had wrapped around it, are gone.

That is when I realized that while looking for the map I’d pulled those out and put them on top of her rack, but never remembered to put them back into her pannier. They must have fallen off while we were going over the grass or along the dirt trail, landing in something soft enough that we didn’t hear them fall. We considered looping back to look for them, but by this point we were getting pretty tired and butt-sore, so we accepted the loss and agreed we’d buy her a new lock.

So a double-derp of sorts: the big one was not putting her lock away, the lesser one for slacking off on our riding and then suddenly going for a longer ride. If we’d been in better shape we might have been up for re-tracing our route to look for the lock.


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## ODFFA (Sep 8, 2015)

Tad said:


> MsBrightside’s story reminds me of one of my all-time derpiest moments....[Snip]



I would have kinda-died. Really felt your pain while reading that  I once locked myself out of my apartment on a brutal English midwinter's morning and had to spend the rest of that day in cafés and on trains 'til I could get back inside. But it's not the same.



> [Snip]One of the guys there volunteered instead to call CAA *(like AAA, but Canadian)...*[Snip]



This was my favourite part, though :happy:



loopytheone said:


> At the farm on Saturday I was cleaning out this huge guinea pig pen with a young girl and just when we had finished I turned around and knocked the trough of food off the side and all over the floor. We both just looked at it for several minutes before I cleaned it up!



Couldn't clumsy-girl rep you either. But that would've been me, no question.



Xyantha Reborn said:


> Im in the higher end of my weight comfort zone, so i pushed myself over the weekend to work out a bit more. While i was working out i felt fantastic - but i guess my muscles disliked how fast and hard i pushed them. This morning i tried to sit down on a chair and my thighs just gave out...i am hobbling like an old woman too.
> 
> My muscle memory still thinks i am more in shape than i am. Been active enough I should have known!! Doh I hurt...



This IS me right now too >.<

(ETA: Gosh darnit, Tad, y u type so fast?!  )


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## loopytheone (Sep 8, 2015)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> Too bad i cant give you clumsy girl rep!
> 
> ---
> 
> ...



Ooooh, I've been there and done that! I wish I had helpful advice other than 'find a comfortable position and slump there for hours' but I've never been able to work out how to help strained muscles! 

In a related derp moment, every monday I pull the muscles in the back of my thighs because my knees hyper extend and I lean over forwards to clean out the guinea pig cage. Yep, I know what causes it. Yep, I still automatically keep doing it! 



Tad said:


> On Sunday W and I went for a bike ride that was reasonably long by our standards (probably around 30km?). --snip



Aww, that is both funny and sweet though! What are the chances of it dropping off and neither of you hearing it, eh? Ah well, these things happen!

Also, 30km?! That is a huge amount!


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## Tad (Sep 8, 2015)

loopytheone said:


> Also, 30km?! That is a huge amount!



There are packs of people who do 50 or 100km rides every weekend--no doubt at far higher speeds than us. We are not that sort of cyclist  (nor are we apt to be confused with them, being twice the size, lacking the spandex bike clothes, and riding the mutts of the bike world. For that matter, while buying a new lock on Sunday my wife saw a bubble blower you can attach to your seat post and gleefully bought it. She was giggling the whole way on a short ride on Sunday as she trailed bubbles behind herself while riding). Anyway, the 30 was plenty enough to leave us pretty tired and happy not to ride far on Monday. Last Summer we did 30 quite a bit more often, and a few rides totaling 40 (to be clear, when I say these numbers, they are usually broken into two or three legs, with us stopping off at a coffee shop, maybe doing some shopping, or whatever)


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## Xyantha Reborn (Sep 9, 2015)

I woke up and i could see.

Oops.

As glasses/cotact wearers can attest to, clear vision on opening your eyes is disconcerting! Slept with my contacts in...now my eyes are all scratchy!!


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## Tad (Sep 9, 2015)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> I woke up and i could see.
> 
> Oops.
> 
> As glasses/cotact wearers can attest to, clear vision on opening your eyes is disconcerting! Slept with my contacts in...now my eyes are all scratchy!!



I used to hate that--my contacts were usually welded to my eyes, would move around like they should, and were close to impossible to pull off. I'd as likely as not end up with bruised eyeballs. I hope you do better than I used to! (in my later twenties my eyes changed, and got too dry to wear contacts for long, so now I'll only wear them for things like swimming or downhill skiing, so haven't had the wake up with them on problem in a looonnnng time. Miss being able to wear them more, though.)


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## Xyantha Reborn (Sep 9, 2015)

I KNOW mint chocolate bars are a massive agony trigger but i was stupid enough to buy one. Ate about 4 pieces before my stomach just started to quiver. Now im trying to stay as still as possible hoping the pain doesnt ratchet upwards....frickin big doh!!!!!


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## lucca23v2 (Sep 10, 2015)

my :doh: moment which also made me lol.. today after a very long day at work I was trying to explain something to my supervisior. In my mind i was explaining the situation fully but he kept looking at me like I was crazy. When I finished he says to me.. I have no idea what you just said. I'm like.. then he laughs and says,, do you not realized you just spoke for 5 minutes in spanish?...... Did I mention that he does not speak spanish? lol.. we both laughed for about 10 minutes. 

Aside from 1 temp, no one else speaks spanish in my office...lol :doh::doh::doh:


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## dwesterny (Sep 14, 2015)

15 minutes this morning looking for keys I had randomly placed in a kitchen drawer. Why brain? 

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## Xyantha Reborn (Sep 14, 2015)

Not mine, but my hubby's.

I made him pizza pockets a few days ago.
This morning i had to climb up to get more TP in the bathroom and, uh, one was sitting there on the toilet paper shelf.
Its totally uncharacteristic for him to a) carry food without a plate, b) bring food into the bathroom and c) not eat food

Someone is going to get razzed soooo hard this morning (because i get razzed!!)


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## loopytheone (Sep 14, 2015)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> Not mine, but my hubby's.
> 
> I made him pizza pockets a few days ago.
> This morning i had to climb up to get more TP in the bathroom and, uh, one was sitting there on the toilet paper shelf.
> ...



Hahaha! This so sounds like something I would do! Sudden surprise food!


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## dwesterny (Oct 15, 2015)

Gas pump had the little hook to keep the handle pressed without me holding it, I used it and then forgot to release before pulling the nozzle out. Gas sprayed everywhere, on me all over.Yup...


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## Xyantha Reborn (Oct 15, 2015)

oopsie.... Face too?


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## dwesterny (Oct 15, 2015)

Nah no facial.


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## Tad (Oct 15, 2015)

I'm think that is the moment when you ask yourself "How bad has the static electricity been today?" before moving ....

ETA: to be clear, I AM glad that there were no sudden sparks to make the experience all the more interesting.


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## lucca23v2 (Oct 15, 2015)

dwesterny said:


> Nah no facial.



lol.. my mind went to other places when I read this comment.


=================

So for my :doh: moment.. i was checking the parking ticket payment system incase my niece owed tickets on her old car. so.. her old plate ended in 6585.. for some reason.. maybe being tired or my slight case of inverting numbers.. or I don't know what.. i entered 6568...I almost had a heart attack.under 6568 there is outstanding balance of $830 dollars... I was about to die... in NYC if you have 2 cars registered.. when they go to tow a car, they will take any of the cars listed to the owner regardless if that car got the ticket(s) or not. OMG!.. then I saw I had the wrong numbers and my heart jumped back into my chest. big :doh: moment.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Oct 16, 2015)

So tired i went to bathroom and basically micro napped while sitting down...


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## lucca23v2 (Oct 16, 2015)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> So tired i went to bathroom and basically micro napped while sitting down...


Lol... I have done this on occasion


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## Tad (Oct 16, 2015)

Sorry you are that tired, Xyantha!

I've done this standing up a couple of times, resulting in that panicked moment, after snapping back awake, of making sure that everything went into the urinal as opposed to dribbling onto your pants or something.


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## Tad (Oct 20, 2015)

That feeling when you realize you fell asleep while composing an email, and are trying to figure out just how far back into the mail you stopped making any sense ....

Last night I stayed up late watching election results, and I’d probably been more stressed about the whole thing than I’d wanted to admit because I woke up this morning feeling pretty drained. Then mid-day today I took our car to a wreckers &#8211; the car my son has recently been learning to drive in, after having named it when we first bought it when he was two years old. In other words there was a lot of memories associated with that car, it has a name, I personify inanimate objects, it has been a fantastic car for us, and I tend to be sentimental anyway, so … a lot of emotion there. Then I biked back from there to work, pushing against the wind the whole way. Put it all together, and now I’m just completely wiped. I keep falling asleep in front of the computer here at work, and my thoughts are wandering all over the place.

In other words, come on people, I need entertainment, stimulation, and distraction &#8211; and Dimensions is really quiet today


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## Xyantha Reborn (Oct 22, 2015)

Looking at a bhm pic here while being in line...people could see it over my shoulder.

Also, vp is from the states. She hugged me today. Hugging a boss is just weird in Canada
Edit: the derp moment with that is: did i hug back ok? Too much? Too little? Doh


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## loopytheone (Oct 23, 2015)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> Looking at a bhm pic here while being in line...people could see it over my shoulder.
> 
> Also, vp is from the states. She hugged me today. Hugging a boss is just weird in Canada
> Edit: the derp moment with that is: did i hug back ok? Too much? Too little? Doh



You needed to go with it, and just pull a really creepy face when people were looking over your shoulder and start licking your lips or something. xD That would serve them right for looking over your shoulder!

Oh gosh, I so know what you mean there. I'm bad enough with handshakes... for some reason, whenever I shake somebody's hand it always end up with us just grabbing each others hand and then letting go. No actual shaking involved. I think I must be doing something wrong...?


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## Xyantha Reborn (Oct 23, 2015)

As long as you dont do that limp hand thing.


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## loopytheone (Oct 23, 2015)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> As long as you dont do that limp hand thing.



See, I always worry that maybe I am? But I usually sort of briefly grip a person's hand and then let go, so there isn't time for any actual shaking unless I take their hand hostage...


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## lucca23v2 (Oct 23, 2015)

I dont think people "shake" hands any more. It is more of clasping the hands together and one slight jerk and the hand shake is over

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## lucca23v2 (Oct 23, 2015)

my :doh: moment for today. I am trying to read my snapple cap.I could not understand it at all. I thought.. wow.. now they are writing in a different language cool, then the cap fell out of my hand and when I picked it up the cap was right side up and then I realized that it wasn't a different language, but I had the cap upside down... :doh:


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## Xyantha Reborn (Oct 28, 2015)

I was wearing a pretty fall coloured scarf today (rich golds, browns, a hint of red).

I glanced down and thought, "oh, that is pretty, i didnt know this had green in it! Such a vibrant shade, it really pops!"

It was a piece of lettuce from my sandwich at lunch caught in my scarf...


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## MattB (Oct 28, 2015)

I can't rep you X, but just know that this post is frickin' awesome.


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## lucca23v2 (Oct 28, 2015)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> I was wearing a pretty fall coloured scarf today (rich golds, browns, a hint of red).
> 
> I glanced down and thought, "oh, that is pretty, i didnt know this had green in it! Such a vibrant shade, it really pops!"
> 
> It was a piece of lettuce from my sandwich at lunch caught in my scarf...


Lmfao....lol.. too funny...

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## loopytheone (Oct 29, 2015)

So, the entire of yesterday counts, I think!

I had an interview the other side of the county, and I left enough time to get there an hour early, because I'm me. But I missed my stop (turns out it isn't considered a stop unless you actually ask for it!) and by the time I realised I was almost in the nearby city centre so I just went there. Long story short, I walked/ran for an hour across a farm and along the grass verge of a dual carriageway in the pouring rain to get to my interview, which I was an hour late to and arrived panting, sweating, drenched with rain and covered in grass/mud. They then told me to sit and have a drink for a minute and get my breath back, but by the time I had actually ordered the damn thing they called me into the interview. So I had an interview alongside a melting strawberry smoothie. I then missed the bus back and had to wait an hour for the next one, which made me late for the dog I normally walk so it was dark by the time I took him out.

How do I even adult?


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## Xyantha Reborn (Oct 29, 2015)

Ugh arriving flustered to an interview is the worst!! But at least you arrived looking like you had made an epic effort. Which is more than most employees do =P


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## lucca23v2 (Oct 29, 2015)

I agree with Xy.....

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## loopytheone (Oct 29, 2015)

Haha, thank you both! I don't think being drenched and muddy is a great look but I am honestly just really proud of myself for sorting the whole thing out and not freaking out and running away. ^_^

I have a work trial at another place tomorrow and then a second interview there so I will have to see how that goes! Given my anxiety problems, I honestly consider just going there and doing these things to be a victory.


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## lucca23v2 (Oct 29, 2015)

I think it is a big achievement!

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## lille (Oct 29, 2015)

loopytheone said:


> Haha, thank you both! I don't think being drenched and muddy is a great look but I am honestly just really proud of myself for sorting the whole thing out and not freaking out and running away. ^_^
> 
> I have a work trial at another place tomorrow and then a second interview there so I will have to see how that goes! Given my anxiety problems, I honestly consider just going there and doing these things to be a victory.



That's a huge victory! I would have probably cried and given up.


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## dwesterny (Oct 31, 2015)

My espresso machine stopped working this morning. I started undoing screws to take it apart and look for kinked or broken tubing before realizing it was out of water.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Nov 5, 2015)

That is awesome, sorry!!

---

Arrived, walked across parking lot to work.
I forgot my phone in the car this morning. Walked back and got it.
Realized i forgot my pass to get in. Walked back and got it.
Swiped in, and realized I put my phone back on the front seat and forgot it again.

Gave up on today as a whole.


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## lucca23v2 (Nov 5, 2015)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> That is awesome, sorry!!
> 
> ---
> 
> ...


 

Tough day... but funny...


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## Tad (Nov 5, 2015)

I think we've all had those days occasionally -- but ouch! And only Thursday.


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## lucca23v2 (Nov 5, 2015)

Well.. it could have been worse. . It could have happened on monday..lol

Sent from my SM-N920P using Tapatalk


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## Tad (Nov 10, 2015)

At 10:09am I was sitting at my desk, working away, having already talked to a few people today. Then I happened to glance to one side and something off about my golf shirt caught my eye. I had to look twice more before I realized I was looking at a seam, and I was wearing it inside out.

Time to run away to the washroom to fix that, and to then apparently have MORE COFFEE!


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## Xyantha Reborn (Nov 10, 2015)

I am unable to give you 'moar coffee' derp rep, but it is deserved!


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## MsBrightside (Nov 10, 2015)

Tad said:


> At 10:09am I was sitting at my desk, working away, having already talked to a few people today. Then I happened to glance to one side and something off about my golf shirt caught my eye. I had to look twice more before I realized I was looking at a seam, and I was wearing it inside out.
> 
> Time to run away to the washroom to fix that, and to then apparently have MORE COFFEE!


Haha--been there, done that. Many times. It's even worse when other people notice before you do.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Nov 26, 2015)

So, dont know how to say this without it sounding bad. Cuz it is. I think brevity i
Will be key.

Walked into work bathroom about a week ago.
Dropped trou before i was in the stall.

Luckily, no one else was there. I would have had to shame quit on the spot.

Why did i do that, you might ask? Well, i only live with my guy. Pants and closed doors are optional. Apparently i was tired and forgot i wasnt home. Lol.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Nov 27, 2015)

Saw leos post about voicechat via email. I replied to that email like it would somehow magically appear on the boards.

I imagine the Admin's being like wtf? :doh:


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## Xyantha Reborn (Feb 4, 2016)

Floors in the bathroom at work are so shiney i could see the girl pooping next to me in the floor.


Wasnt until i got out of the bathroom i was like omg she can see meeeee!


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## dwesterny (Feb 4, 2016)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> i could see the girl pooping next to me in the floor.



Omg, why didn't she use the toilet!!!!


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## Xyantha Reborn (Feb 4, 2016)

Reflection in the floor! not pooping ON the floor! How does one even poop IN a floor?!


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## Crumbling (Feb 4, 2016)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> omg she can see meeeee!



Assert dominance by maintaining eye contact for the entire duration.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Feb 4, 2016)

Haha! Does duration of event play into consideration, then? And is it how fast, or how long?


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## landshark (Feb 4, 2016)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> Floors in the bathroom at work are so shiney i could see the girl pooping next to me in the floor.
> 
> 
> Wasnt until i got out of the bathroom i was like omg she can see meeeee!



Oh gosh. Years back I was running the Rock and Roll Marathon in San Diego. Long about mile 9 I ducked into a parking lot on the edge of downtown where there was some landscaping. Marathon routes usually have those little blue outhouses, but the line was long and people were just peeing in the bushes. I found a corner of the parking lot and did the same. Just as I dropped my shorts a girl ran up next to me, dropped her shorts and squatted down. I looked at her and thought, "Fair enough, if the men are doing it I suppose a woman should be able to as well." I did think it was odd she didn't go somewhere more secluded and instead chose to do her business so close to me. She was literally right next to me. I tried to pretend she wasn't there as I did my thing. Then I heard it. Then I smelt it. Impulsively I looked down and then I saw it coming out of her.  Yup, she squatted down right next to me and dropped a deuce! I finished up and was on my was as quickly as I could be. I wonder what she used to wipe?


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## Dr. Feelgood (Feb 4, 2016)

happily_married said:


> I wonder what she used to wipe?



Probably just as well you didn't find out. It might also have answered your question about why she squatted next to you.


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## landshark (Feb 4, 2016)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> Probably just as well you didn't find out. It might also have answered your question about why she squatted next to you.



Now there's an unpleasant thought.


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Feb 6, 2016)

I was in the bathroom and almost slipped. I ran out to my friend and said "Dude, I was just in the bathroom and almost ate shit!" The guy standing next to us looked mortified.

My choice of words could have been better.


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## Cobra Verde (Feb 7, 2016)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> I was just in the bathroom and almost ate shit!


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## x0emnem0x (Feb 10, 2016)

Not technically me, but I'm sure my mom had this moment, and I wanted to facepalm. 

I am barely awake, get a text from her which wakes me up, "can you unlock the door, I am stuck outside in the freezing cold and Kenzie (my niece) is on her way"... 

I get up, go look at the door. Totally unlocked. Not locked at all. I open the door: "It's not locked"... 

Proceed to go back to bed, lol.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Feb 13, 2016)

x0emnem0x said:


> Not technically me, but I'm sure my mom had this moment, and I wanted to facepalm.
> 
> I am barely awake, get a text from her which wakes me up, "can you unlock the door, I am stuck outside in the freezing cold and Kenzie (my niece) is on her way"...
> 
> ...




This is like my life. Except i am your mom. Lol


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## Xyantha Reborn (Mar 16, 2016)

I was incapable of ordering my own coffee and breakfast this AM.

I needed to restort to a mixture of vague hand signals and a reliance on them knowing my order.


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## dwesterny (Mar 16, 2016)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> I was incapable of ordering my own coffee and breakfast this AM.
> 
> I needed to restort to a mixture of vague hand signals and a reliance on them knowing my order.



You unable to speak? And I missed it! Sounds so wonderful.


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## bayone (Mar 17, 2016)

At work, I was sent a corrected version of a photo of a product, and somehow managed to repost the old photo into the layout I was working on, without noticing.


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## landshark (Mar 24, 2016)

Today I attempted a 405 pound deadlift. That's 1 bar that weighs 45 pounds and 4 plates, each at 45 pounds. At my size (170 pounds) this is at the moment the very brink of my abilities and takes some serious mental preparation and everything going right. And it didn't...

Instead of a 4th 45 pound plate I put a 35 and a 10 because they were easier to load. But I forgot to load the 10 on each side and the weight wasn't balanced. I feel the extra 10 pounds I was missing wouldn't have made the difference on the lift but the unbalanced load certainly did. I got off the floor but could t reach lockout, one side heavier than the other. I had to abandon the attempt and due to the mental prep needed will have to try again another time.


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## LeoGibson (Mar 25, 2016)

happily_married said:


> Today I attempted a 405 pound deadlift. That's 1 bar that weighs 45 pounds and 4 plates, each at 45 pounds. At my size (170 pounds) this is at the moment the very brink of my abilities and takes some serious mental preparation and everything going right. And it didn't...
> 
> Instead of a 4th 45 pound plate I put a 35 and a 10 because they were easier to load. But I forgot to load the 10 on each side and the weight wasn't balanced. I feel the extra 10 pounds I was missing wouldn't have made the difference on the lift but the unbalanced load certainly did. I got off the floor but could t reach lockout, one side heavier than the other. I had to abandon the attempt and due to the mental prep needed will have to try again another time.



Look, let me say straight away, we can probably never be friends if you use 35 lb. plates. 

But, good job on the attempt! But seriously, next time put 4 wheels on there the way God intended. Plus it makes the balance better for your pull. That's solid work at a body weight of 170. Good luck.


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## landshark (Mar 25, 2016)

LeoGibson said:


> Look, let me say straight away, we can probably never be friends if you use 35 lb. plates.
> 
> But, good job on the attempt! But seriously, next time put 4 wheels on there the way God intended. Plus it makes the balance better for your pull. That's solid work at a body weight of 170. Good luck.



I'm with you on the plates! It was pure laziness on my part that I loaded it the way I did. It would have been easy enough to get a 2.5 pound weight and roll the plates onto it, propping it up and making it easy to load a 45 pounder. Instead I was lazy and messed up the attempt as a result. Lesson learned! And you're right about the balance too. Normally I do that. Like on a bench press if I go from 205 to 225, I remove the 35 and put on a 45 instead of adding 10s. It's a mental thing more than anything but it's a nuance I've developed over time. Should have trusted my instincts yesterday but I'll get that lift in due time.


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## Tad (Mar 29, 2016)

This may be an ongoing one all day. Due to one thing and another, all my usual work trousers are waiting to be washed or in my ironing pile, so this morning I had to grab an older pair. A pair that I knew still fit OK-ish, showing some pull at the pockets and not sitting quite right but nothing major.

At least, that was the case the last time I wore these, probably a few months back. Get to work, sit down, and for whatever reason these are now really pulling along the centre seam in the seat, which means they are somewhat crunching my junk :doh: I knew I should have asked for one of those standing desks!


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## Jeannie (Mar 29, 2016)

Tad said:


> This may be an ongoing one all day. Due to one thing and another, all my usual work trousers are waiting to be washed or in my ironing pile, so this morning I had to grab an older pair. A pair that I knew still fit OK-ish, showing some pull at the pockets and not sitting quite right but nothing major.
> 
> At least, that was the case the last time I wore these, probably a few months back. Get to work, sit down, and for whatever reason these are now really pulling along the centre seam in the seat, which means they are somewhat crunching my junk :doh: I knew I should have asked for one of those standing desks!



2 for 2.


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## landshark (Mar 29, 2016)

Hey, Tad, if you drop your car keys while still at the office don't drop down too fast to pick them up! The ass seem on a pair of trousers can be dangerously fragile and susceptible to untimely ripping! I did that once in a pair of dress slacks and I'm not even a BHM! Thankfully it was at home. My wife felt so bad but I couldn't help but laugh at myself. Then when I took it to the seem repair place the lady right away knew what happened. I'm pretty sure she was being funny when she said, "you want me to take it out an inch too?" :doh:


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## Rojodi (Mar 29, 2016)

Walked into a meeting at work this morning, sat, pulled out my portfolio to take notes, then realized I wasn't supposed to be there.


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## loopytheone (Mar 31, 2016)

I may or may not have set fire to a mug in my flat at midnight. 

Smoke inhalation is a bitch.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Mar 31, 2016)

haha rojodi! Been there, done that.

Loops...I have to ask...HOW!?


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## loopytheone (Mar 31, 2016)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> Loops...I have to ask...HOW!?



Um... well, I found a recipe for a mug cake and I put it in the microwave and, um, the contents of the cup caught fire apparently when my back was turned. This melted the inside of the ceramic mug (!) and sent plumes of acrid smoke billowing out all through my flat and set off all the alarms. At 2am. In a block of flats. :doh:

I did manage to make sure my guinea pigs didn't get smoked out, then effectively shut myself in the room with the microwave the try and get the smoke out... long story short, I have smoke damage to my eyes, nose and lungs but I'm okay and the guinea pigs are absolutely fine.


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## Tad (Mar 31, 2016)

Loopy, I think you won 'Derp of the week' 

I hope the smoke damage (and smoke smell in stuff) is not TOO bad.

And I hope you can replace the microwave.


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## loopytheone (Apr 1, 2016)

Tad said:


> Loopy, I think you won 'Derp of the week'
> 
> I hope the smoke damage (and smoke smell in stuff) is not TOO bad.
> 
> And I hope you can replace the microwave.



Gee, thanks Tad. 

There was no real smoke damage and though there is still a faint smell of smoke around the place it has mostly faded. Believe it or not, the microwave itself was absolutely fine with only a little bit of brown/black soot on the roof of it. Apparently it set fire to my cake/cup but was completely unharmed itself.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Apr 11, 2016)

Stowed my cutting boards away in the oven because they were recaulking today.

Started preheating oven.

Don't tell my husband!!


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## Melian (Apr 12, 2016)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> Stowed my cutting boards away in the oven because they were recaulking today.
> 
> Started preheating oven.
> 
> Don't tell my husband!!



Hahaha. "Recaulking."


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## dwesterny (Apr 12, 2016)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> Stowed my cutting boards away in the oven because they were recaulking today.





Melian said:


> Hahaha. "Recaulking."


 
Haha indeed, we know you both love the caulk.


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## Melian (Apr 12, 2016)

dwesterny said:


> Haha indeed, we know you both love the caulk.



I'll give you a recaulking *shakes fist*

.....


Hehe...."fist."


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## Xyantha Reborn (Apr 12, 2016)

This natural devolving of conversation into sexual innuendos is supposed to be reserved for drunk teamspeak night! If you say them all now what shall we talk about then?!


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## MattB (Apr 12, 2016)

Hahahahaha! "Into".


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## Melian (Apr 12, 2016)

MattB said:


> Hahahahaha! "Into".



"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to MattB again."

No comment.


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## djudex (Apr 12, 2016)

*coughcough* you must spread *coughcough*


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## rabbitislove (Apr 12, 2016)

Ive been away from this board so long and STILL need to spread rep around to give it to Melian again! :doh: Ugh. Melian you know I <3 you!


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## Melian (Apr 12, 2016)

djudex said:


> *coughcough* you must spread *coughcough*



Right!? I feel like I "spread it around" more than enough, and it's been way too long since I last "gave it" to MattB. He's probably dying without the hot, moist feel of my rep. LOL.



rabbitislove said:


> Ive been away from this board so long and STILL need to spread rep around to give it to Melian again! :doh: Ugh. Melian you know I <3 you!



Yeah yeah....sure you do. 
<3 you, too.


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## Rojodi (Apr 13, 2016)

Very beautiful and healthy coed at Starbucks came to me to ask for honest help setting up her laptop for the free wifi. I bumbled out a response. 

I'm 51, old enough to be her dad, and I couldn't speak LOL :doh:


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## rabbitislove (Apr 14, 2016)

Melian said:


> Yeah yeah....sure you do.
> <3 you, too.



I love you even when you use the word moist, which is a lot

:wubu:

(Yes Im one of those people who hates the word moist).


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## Xyantha Reborn (Apr 24, 2016)

While doing 2015 taxes i noted an error on 2014 taxes (because bank didn't send me the right paperwork i needed)...so now i need to amend last years taxes


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## Xyantha Reborn (May 9, 2016)

Realized i failed to win the lottery on my vacation when i was forced to rise and sally forth to employment. Derp.


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## dwesterny (May 30, 2016)

All my towels were dirty/waiting to be washed today then my bathrobe slipped, fell into the shower and got soaked. I ended up drying myself using a dish towel and a spare bed sheet.


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## loopytheone (May 31, 2016)

dwesterny said:


> All my towels were dirty/waiting to be washed today then my bathrobe slipped, fell into the shower and got soaked. I ended up drying myself using a dish towel and a spare bed sheet.



Thanks for giving me my first laugh of the day there!  How good are bed sheets as make-shift towels though? =p


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## LeoGibson (Jun 19, 2016)

After sending a link to a pic of one of my dogs in my photobucket, I was politely advised about other pics in my gallery. All this time I have thought only the pic I shared could be seen, but nope, I've been giving folks access to my gallery which had some shots that weren't meant for all eyes! :doh: :blush:


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## Xyantha Reborn (Jun 19, 2016)

Oopsie...!

----

Mine is not nearly as spectacular, but in Agility you call your dogs name and also the obstacle name. So i called out "you! Thingy!" Instead of "rumple! Table!"

And everyone started HOWLING because who forgets their dog's name and the name of the thing you are trying to send him to!?

Edit; also tried to drunk text my daddy happy father's day, but instead said "happy bday!!" (Cuz i was at a bday)...and he was like "father's day maybe. birthday, no." Doh!!


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## loopytheone (Jun 20, 2016)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> Mine is not nearly as spectacular, but in Agility you call your dogs name and also the obstacle name. So i called out "you! Thingy!" Instead of "rumple! Table!"
> 
> And everyone started HOWLING because who forgets their dog's name and the name of the thing you are trying to send him to!?



Oh my gosh! I am just reminded of my sister doing agility with her dog, Freedom, now! Not only did he walk the entire course at a snails pace but the only piece of equipment he likes is the table. She always gets him to lay down on it but in his burst of excitement at hearing 'Table!' he sprinted, leapt into the air, landed on the table in a down position and promptly slid off the end in a heap.


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## lille (Jun 20, 2016)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> Oopsie...!
> 
> ----
> 
> ...


That is totally something that would happen to me if Archer and I did agility.



loopytheone said:


> Oh my gosh! I am just reminded of my sister doing agility with her dog, Freedom, now! Not only did he walk the entire course at a snails pace but the only piece of equipment he likes is the table. She always gets him to lay down on it but in his burst of excitement at hearing 'Table!' he sprinted, leapt into the air, landed on the table in a down position and promptly slid off the end in a heap.


That is adorable.

I had my own deep moment with Archer today. I took him out to pee and he tried to chase a squirrel. I brought him and I always have him sit for me to take off his barnes and leash. Well he wouldn't sit and was holding up his left rear foot, sort of shaking it out to the side. Me being a paranoid dog mom automatically panic and think he has a luxating patella or something. I unclip his harness, he scampers/hops away and I grab him to examine his leg for injury. I then realize that he had half an acorn shell stuck around one of his toes. Crisis averted.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Aug 15, 2016)

White school bus drove by and i thought: omg! Albino!


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## lucca23v2 (Aug 24, 2016)

So I went to FL for my vacation. I had a great time. I went to Clearwater beach and had fun. I decided I would tan a bit and used my deep tan spray with an SPF of 3. So I forgot that I was in Florida and not in NYC. When I travel to the Caribbean I always seem to burn faster and FL is as close to that type of weather as you can get here in the states. So of course I spend 3 hours at the beach, in salt water, with this deep tan lotion on.. and I got burned! (See attached picture) It is so bad that the burn appears to go down 2 or 3 layers of skin. Here I am a week later and my body is still releasing heat from the sun I got at the beach in FL! 

Who is an idiot?
<-----------------this chick right here.....:doh:

(This pic was taken the day after I got burned and had applied aloe to it all night! UGH!) 

View attachment my sunburn.jpg


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## DianaSSBBW (Aug 24, 2016)

lucca23v2 said:


> (This pic was taken the day after I got burned and had applied aloe to it all night! UGH!)



That looks painful!! I hope you feel better soon.

Noxzema might help.
When I go to the beach and get burned I always apply Noxzema. I apply the white cream real thick. it cools the burn down and within minutes all the cream is absorbed. I keep applying the Noxzema until the burning stops.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Aug 24, 2016)

Ouch!!!! 

(I am so pale thats what happens if i go out in mid summer for 30 minutes, if i didn't pre tan a bit)


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Aug 25, 2016)

lucca23v2 said:


> So I went to FL for my vacation. I had a great time. I went to Clearwater beach and had fun. I decided I would tan a bit and used my deep tan spray with an SPF of 3. So I forgot that I was in Florida and not in NYC. When I travel to the Caribbean I always seem to burn faster and FL is as close to that type of weather as you can get here in the states. So of course I spend 3 hours at the beach, in salt water, with this deep tan lotion on.. and I got burned! (See attached picture) It is so bad that the burn appears to go down 2 or 3 layers of skin. Here I am a week later and my body is still releasing heat from the sun I got at the beach in FL!
> 
> Who is an idiot?
> <-----------------this chick right here.....:doh:
> ...





DianaSSBBW said:


> That looks painful!! I hope you feel better soon.
> 
> Noxzema might help.
> When I go to the beach and get burned I always apply Noxzema. I apply the white cream real thick. it cools the burn down and within minutes all the cream is absorbed. I keep applying the Noxzema until the burning stops.




OTC pain relievers also help with sunburn pain


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## Sasquatch! (Aug 27, 2016)

lucca23v2 said:


> spray with an SPF of 3.



Of 3? So you essentially just buttered yourself?


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## lucca23v2 (Aug 27, 2016)

Sasquatch! said:


> Of 3? So you essentially just buttered yourself?


Lol.. something to that effect. In NYC i can get away with it and not really get burned. Not so much in Florida.

My familia was like throw that crap out....lol

Sent from my SM-N920P using Tapatalk


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## Xyantha Reborn (Sep 10, 2016)

Sooo

I ran my dogs in agility today. I had no running shoes, so I ran them barefoot.

Last run (in my defense i had taught a lesson, then done two back to back hour long sessions) i somehow knuckled over on my big toe.

I think i might have sprained it. 

I have a competition tomorrow.

Good thing it is "gamblers" aka a distance test aka Xy gets to walk and have her dogs run way far away from her...


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## Xyantha Reborn (Sep 26, 2016)

I repurposed an old face moisturizer to contain my coconut oil i use for my face.

'Cept in the intervening days since friday we turned off the A/C*.

So i grabbed the container, unscrewed it and had a tidal wave of liquid oil splat all over the floor. Good thing my dogs volunteered for cleanup crew while i weny to grab cleaning wipes.



*Yes, almost into Oct before hubby allowed me to turn ac off.


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## LeoGibson (Sep 26, 2016)

People actually turn their ac's off? That's really a thing?


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## Xyantha Reborn (Sep 26, 2016)

Only when their wife whines its actually colder outside than in the house 5 days in a row.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Sep 26, 2016)

LeoGibson said:


> People actually turn their ac's off? That's really a thing?





Xyantha Reborn said:


> Only when their wife whines its actually colder outside than in the house 5 days in a row.



Here we see the difference between living in Canada and in Texas.


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## dwesterny (Oct 3, 2016)

I was shopping online for wool socks (yay toasty toes) and was about to buy a pair when I noticed the color listed was chestnut and I actually clicked to change the color because I'm allergic to nuts before I realized how dumb that was. :doh:


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## agouderia (Oct 3, 2016)

dwesterny said:


> I was shopping online for wool socks (yay toasty toes) and was about to buy a pair when I noticed the color listed was chestnut and I actually clicked to change the color because I'm allergic to nuts before I realized how dumb that was. :doh:



LOL - it's a particular case of :doh: :doh: :doh: - because botanically, chestnuts aren't even nuts. They're a type of beech tree fruit, and even if you have a nut allergy, it will almost certainly not also apply to chestnuts.

I have a wonderful French duck recipe with a roast chestnut stuffing - so I once looked that up whether I could feed it to my friends with nut allergies.


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## dwesterny (Oct 3, 2016)

agouderia said:


> LOL - it's a particular case of :doh: :doh: :doh: - because botanically, chestnuts aren't even nuts. They're a type of beech tree fruit, and even if you have a nut allergy, it will almost certainly not also apply to chestnuts.
> 
> I have a wonderful French duck recipe with a roast chestnut stuffing - so I once looked that up whether I could feed it to my friends with nut allergies.



I can cite multiple sources that list chestnuts as tree nuts. Peanuts I'm fine with since they are legumes, but all nuts are considered a kind of tree fruit with at least one seed. Also water chestnuts (used in Asian cuisine) are not nuts.

https://www.foodallergy.org/allergens/tree-nut-allergy

http://www.kidswithfoodallergies.org/page/tree-nut-allergy.aspx


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## agouderia (Oct 3, 2016)

Interesting - so this is one of these inter-country/language/health system medical divides.

Because Anglo-phone allergy counseling (just looked it up in US & UK) insists that chestnuts are nuts and cause allergic reactions.

While all nut allergy counseling in French, German and Italian tells you that chestnuts are fruit and fine to eat even if you are allergic to other nuts.

It always fascinates me to find such examples where you can see how culturally determined medicine as a science is - that health is not an objective fact, but the result of often highly subjective diagnosis.

Okay - a broken bone is something you can clearly see as a fracture on an x-ray. But everything else ....


P.S.: The nut allergic friends liked the duck & didn't complain of any symptoms afterwards, at least not to me. Then again, you probably can eat anything that has been in an oven at 350°F for 2 hours without any side effects.


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## dwesterny (Oct 3, 2016)

I'm not volunteering to eat one to see who is right. Although I do know nut allergies are not always applicable to every nut. Some people can have almonds etc... I'm fine with coconut as well.


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## loopytheone (Oct 3, 2016)

This is all an elaborate ploy by Agouderia to get to poison yourself, Dwes.


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## Tad (Oct 3, 2016)

This conversation led me to educate myself about the chestnut. Learned that the horse chestnut is neither a chestnut, nor edible -- perhaps that is why kids were allowed to use them to play conkers?

Anyway, the wikipedia page does talk about it being the fruit of the tree, but does not talk about how it interacts with nut allergies. Does talk about how unlike other nuts it is low on proteins and fats and high on carbs, and I think it is usually proteins to which we have allergies, so right there it makes it seem less likely to be a major allergy trigger. (and indeed cooking gets rid of some allergy triggers -- I have issues with the skins of carrots and of everything in the apple family, and I can happily devour all of those things when they are well cooked. But I'm sure that is not a guarantee that cooking will sufficiently disrupt all proteins to the degree that they won't trigger allergies)


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## dwesterny (Oct 3, 2016)

Yes, it is a protein that triggers the allergies. I just read something on a foodie website (chowhound) not an official source but sounded legit. Basically what they said was pine nuts and chestnuts can trigger nut allergies but almost never do. I avoid both of them although I used to eat pesto indiscriminately (made with pine nuts commonly) and never reacted but my take now is better safe than sorry. I wont even drink gin distilled with almonds and the proteins that cause the reaction almost certainly would not make it through distillation. Although yet again, before I knew gin was often made with almonds I drank plenty of beefeater which definitely has almonds as one of the botanicals. I will eat stuff that has the "may have come in contact" warning though. I have not had a nut reaction in over 15 years because I do my research and play it safe. For all I know I may have outgrown my nut allergy at this point. That happens. Along with all of my clothes I've outgrown

I have had reactions to well cooked nuts products before.

Also noteworthy hanging out with Xy and Mel did not trigger my nut allergy, I was really surprised.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Oct 3, 2016)

Brilliant!!! Love that Dwes..

Also, frack you


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## bigmac (Oct 6, 2016)

The shirt I'm wearing today is a "slim fit" 4XLT.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Oct 6, 2016)

bigmac said:


> The shirt I'm wearing today is a "slim fit" 4XLT.



Hurrah for life's little ironies!


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## rellis10 (Oct 10, 2016)

I may have turned a delicious pizza into something more akin to a clay pigeon.... it really gave a good, hearty thud when I bashed it against the kitchen counter :doh:


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## Xyantha Reborn (Oct 14, 2016)

Got a package slip saying they tried to deliver something.

Took it off the door to call about picking it up the next day.

Was told if only i had left it on the door with my signature, they would have left it there. (As per instructions in tiney tiny letters on the slip)

Instead, i had to drive 45 min to the depot to pick it up.

Le sigh.


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## Tad (Oct 19, 2016)

I’ve been trying to record a video with some odds and ends of thoughts and statuses about Dimensions. First try, last week, I had the camera way to close to my face and nobody needs to be inflicted with eight minutes of that. So I tried again this morning on the way to work, thought everything had gone well (this time just panning the landscape as I walked). But when I played it back I was barely audible and it looks like I somehow stopped and re-started the recording somewhere in the middle with I don't know how much time between stopping and re-starting. Apparently my self-video-ing skills are week.

So will have to make attempt three when I get a chance. What a pain!


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## Xyantha Reborn (Oct 19, 2016)

I tried to do one too and realized:

My hubby is right - I don't enunciate. The problem is my tongue is too big, so I don't tend to go as deep on the vowels/ hit the consonant sounds as hard. And if I do, it sounds like I am pissed off. 

Also, my arms in the video look hilariously big because they are farther towards the camera than I am.

Too, I find making eye contact with myself freaky, so my eyes flit everywhere to avoid looking at the screen.

Finally...it was 10 minutes of rambling that could have been done in 2 concise minutes. blegh


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## Tad (Oct 19, 2016)

1) Almost everyone hates how they sound when recorded, and hates how they look when video'd. We want to hear/see anyway!

2) I ten naw to enunciay well eiyer. Stewid har consonans! (for what it is worth, I've heard you speak and didn't notice any enunciation issues at all, but then again my ears are attuned to a similar 'accent' and it could be harder for others)

3) Part of why I usually do my videos while walking is so that I have to have my eyes on where I'm going most of the time, so I'm not staring at the screen the whole time.

4) And rambling happens. Why, one time I started to talk and -- wait, I don't need to illustrate. But my actual point is that you rambling probably makes me want to hear it more, rather than less.

#noexcusesaccepted


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## Crumbling (Oct 22, 2016)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> My hubby is right - I don't enunciate. The problem is my tongue is too big, so I don't tend to go as deep on the vowels/ hit the consonant sounds as hard. And if I do, it sounds like I am pissed off.



I can't say I ever found you difficult to understand.

I hate hearing my voice played back... Its missing all the extra bass my ears pick up because blowing noise out my facehole makes my head vibrate...

... so it sounds weird and high pitched... 

I understand in the abstract that my voice is a lot like my Dad's and is apparently fairly pleasant to listen to... but, to my ears it always sounds ... just.. whiney.


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## dwesterny (Oct 22, 2016)

Crumbling said:


> I hate hearing my voice played back... Its missing all the extra bass my ears pick up because blowing noise out my facehole makes my head vibrate...
> 
> ... so it sounds weird and high pitched...



True science stuff! You could fix that by holding a vibrator under your chin whenever you listen to your own voice on tape, thus adding some majestic bass. It would totally work.


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## Crumbling (Oct 22, 2016)

dwesterny said:


> under your chin



which one?


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## loopytheone (Oct 22, 2016)

Crumbling said:


> which one?



I had this problem when taking a passport picture the other day. It's fine to say 'your crown and chin must fit between the markers' but how many of my chins need to be in there???


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## Dr. Feelgood (Oct 23, 2016)

loopytheone said:


> I had this problem when taking a passport picture the other day. It's fine to say 'your crown and chin must fit between the markers' but how many of my chins need to be in there???



It probably won't matter. It seems to be a universal law that, no matter how the subject arranges his or her features, the resulting passport photo will resemble one of the extras from _Night of the Living Dead. _


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## Xyantha Reborn (Oct 23, 2016)

My hubby says he can't hear my voice and it sounds like"squeaky sequeaky squeaky" instead of real words.

Don't fear! Your voices have extra resonance and sexiness due to the sound of your breathing fat guys have.


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## CleverBomb (Oct 24, 2016)

loopytheone said:


> I had this problem when taking a passport picture the other day. It's fine to say 'your crown and chin must fit between the markers' but how many of my chins need to be in there???


Figured you more for a tiara than a crown.


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## loopytheone (Oct 24, 2016)

CleverBomb said:


> Figured you more for a tiara than a crown.



Hahaha, okay, this officially got my first giggle of the day!


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## LeoGibson (Oct 24, 2016)

Crumbling said:


> I can't say I ever found you difficult to understand.
> 
> I hate hearing my voice played back... Its missing all the extra bass my ears pick up because blowing noise out my facehole makes my head vibrate...
> 
> ...



I'm pretty much of the same opinion about mine. I know some people have said otherwise, but I really don't care much for the sound of my own voice. I especially cringe at my singing voice. I think that's probably a pretty common and natural thing.


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## dwesterny (Oct 24, 2016)

LeoGibson said:


> I'm pretty much of the same opinion about mine. I know some people have said otherwise, but I really don't care much for the sound of my own voice. I especially cringe at my singing voice. I think that's probably a pretty common and natural thing.



You're right, it's extremely common and a natural/physical phenomenon. It was what Crumbling alluded to, when we speak the internal vibration of our skulls is audible to ourselves in tune with the sound waves we put out from our mouths to speak. That makes our voice sound deeper and more resinous than it actually is since we are hearing our voices in Dolby 7.1 and everyone else in basic stereo. So we get used to our own voice having more bass and a fuller sound than most voices have.

http://www.sciencealert.com/here-s-why-you-probably-hate-the-sound-of-your-own-voice

There are actually headphones that work off the same principle, instead of causing vibration in the ears they they use bone vibration turn the skull into a speaker that only you can hear.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/event/article-2687507/Damson-Headbone-Headphones-turn-skull-speaker-Im-pickin-Good-Vibrations.html


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## LeoGibson (Oct 24, 2016)

Thanks Dwes. Now I know the why for the way I feel. Secondly, i really want to try those headbones now!


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## Tad (Oct 24, 2016)

I'm waiting for them to come up with the wireless implant speakers that somehow scavenge the required energy from our bodies, so I can just have music happening whenever I want without anything obvious going on.

============================

And my derp moment: I tried to give Loopy rep, and ended up reporting the post instead (complete with the positive comment I meant for the rep) .... without noticing that I had done this. Only realized when another moderator asked what the post report was about.


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## loopytheone (Oct 24, 2016)

Tad said:


> And my derp moment: I tried to give Loopy rep, and ended up reporting the post instead (complete with the positive comment I meant for the rep) .... without noticing that I had done this. Only realized when another moderator asked what the post report was about.



It's okay Tad, I know you secretly find my passport photo musing unacceptable behaviour. I'll keep talk of them to a minimum.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Oct 24, 2016)

quit being so sassy, loops, and he wont be torn between wanting to laugh and tell you to shhh


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## Rojodi (Oct 24, 2016)

Walking out of the physical therapist's office and walking right into the door jamb with my shoulder, the one that was worked on.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Oct 24, 2016)

OOOOO ouch!!! are you ok?


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## Dr. Feelgood (Oct 24, 2016)

Tad said:


> I'm waiting for them to come up with the wireless implant speakers that somehow scavenge the required energy from our bodies, so I can just have music happening whenever I want without anything obvious going on.



I actually have this: it's called tinnitus. Most people get it as a buzzing in their ears, but strangely enough, mine sounds like bagpipes. I'm trying to get them to play "Scotland the Brave", but no luck so far.


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## Cobra Verde (Oct 24, 2016)

I went to drink some orange juice last night and I couldn't believe that I had bought the "lots of pulp" variety instead of "no pulp". How could I fuck that up? They couldn't be more different beyond both having the word pulp in them. And why would anyone want orange juice with "lots" of pulp? I can understand tolerating it but I've never drank something and thought it would be improved by lots of crap floating around in it.
Anyway I realized this morning that it wasn't mine and the one I had actually bought was at the back of the fridge. That never even occurred to me.

And to think, I'm at the age where the brain is still relatively sharp.


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## Rojodi (Oct 26, 2016)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> OOOOO ouch!!! are you ok?



Yes, just a little pain, nothing a heating pad, Advil and loads of caffeine didn't take care of well


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## Rojodi (Nov 1, 2016)

Thinking physical therapy was at 11, not 10


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## Cobra Verde (Nov 1, 2016)

I'm still unclear on whether or not you thought your physical therapy was at 11 rather than its actual time of 10. Maybe posting it in a third thread will clear it up for me?


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## Xyantha Reborn (Nov 1, 2016)

Cobra Verde said:


> I'm still unclear on whether or not you thought your physical therapy was at 11 rather than its actual time of 10. Maybe posting it in a third thread will clear it up for me?



Do you, like, ever not say nasty, snarky, sarcastic things? Seriously, maybe it comes across different verbally, but in text it just sounds bitter and miserable.


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## Cobra Verde (Nov 1, 2016)

All the time. There's one example just 5 posts up. I think you repped me semi-recently for one. I've responded to some of your posts positively recently. I think I'm a goddamn ball of sunshine, though opinions vary.
I cant really argue with how things can be perceived differently than intended when typed instead of spoken but do you really think I'm teasing someone for posting the same info in 2 threads out of _bitterness_?


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## Xyantha Reborn (Nov 1, 2016)

I am not speaking to your motivation, only to the way your posts come across to me. As someone who has experienced verbal abuse, nothing grates on my nerves like unkind comments disguised as play.

Sarcasm is appreciated, in moderation. But when post after post talks about how bitter and unhappy you are, about how you trust no one and like no one, it is hard to imagine your other posts in another light, especially when that type of wit comes fast and furious. Meaning; it isn't this single post, but the amassment of all of them that made me comment.


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## Cobra Verde (Nov 1, 2016)

Sorry you've been verbally abused. I have too. I'm assuming Rojodi won't think he was and he's seemed amused by me in the past, unless I'm misremembering and he was _be_mused. If he does feel bad I'll regret it.
I don't think I talk about being bitter ever (since I don't believe that I am) or about unhappiness outside of specific, designated threads for that. I've never said or implied I don't like anyone, since my friends list would be empty if that were the case. The trust thing was in a thread about personal details of varying seriousness and someone who feels similarly engaged me on it. It's kind of rude and inappropriate to bring it up here (and if _I'm_ saying that...).
I can't control perception but _I_ think my posts run the gamut: jokes with no specific target, well-wishing, bitching, sympathy, various images & videos, absurdity, melancholy, on-topic replies, encouragement and, of course, snark. I cant help it if some of those stick out more to you than others.


I was *so* sure that wishing he_stay_fly15 a happy birthday would've earned me _some_ lasting goodwill...


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## Rojodi (Nov 3, 2016)

Cobra Verde said:


> Sorry you've been verbally abused. I have too. I'm assuming Rojodi won't think he was and he's seemed amused by me in the past, unless I'm misremembering and he was _be_mused. If he does feel bad I'll regret it.
> I don't think I talk about being bitter ever (since I don't believe that I am) or about unhappiness outside of specific, designated threads for that. I've never said or implied I don't like anyone, since my friends list would be empty if that were the case. The trust thing was in a thread about personal details of varying seriousness and someone who feels similarly engaged me on it. It's kind of rude and inappropriate to bring it up here (and if _I'm_ saying that...).
> I can't control perception but _I_ think my posts run the gamut: jokes with no specific target, well-wishing, bitching, sympathy, various images & videos, absurdity, melancholy, on-topic replies, encouragement and, of course, snark. I cant help it if some of those stick out more to you than others.
> 
> ...



And I can't believe I missed that appoint.

Of course I wasn't upset about it. I am, though, I couldn't find another thread to put it in *peeks over glasses sarcastically*


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## Tad (Nov 18, 2016)

Currently I work at the same company as my wife. Normally she is wearing a baggy lab coat, but occasionally there will be moments like the one yesterday where I walked into one of our office areas to see her, not wearing her lab coat, bent way over to get something from the bottom shelf of a cabinet. I managed to keep it all professional, but I swear I pulled something in my brain with the effort it took not to grab her ever so nicely presented posterior. 

Then I realized afterward that nobody was around or had sight lines on us, and I totally missed an opportunity to tease her!


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## Xyantha Reborn (Nov 18, 2016)

Bahaha! Never too late to tease...

----

I was away at a 2 day offsite with no access to email. Marked myself as away but forgot to put auto reply on..,

...my inbox is full of screaming people... 

Oops


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## Dr. Feelgood (Nov 18, 2016)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> I was away at a 2 day offsite with no access to email. Marked myself as away but forgot to put auto reply on..,
> 
> ...my inbox is full of screaming people...



I used to have that problem with voice mail. Then I discovered that, if you let your mailbox fill up, people will eventually quit voice mailing you!This saved me a lot of stress.*


*It works better if you have tenure.


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## Tad (Nov 18, 2016)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> I was away at a 2 day offsite with no access to email. Marked myself as away but forgot to put auto reply on..,
> 
> ...my inbox is full of screaming people...
> 
> Oops



I've done that, and yah it sucks  I hope that the off-site was good, at least!


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## loopytheone (Nov 18, 2016)

Tad said:


> Currently I work at the same company as my wife. Normally she is wearing a baggy lab coat, but occasionally there will be moments like the one yesterday where I walked into one of our office areas to see her, not wearing her lab coat, bent way over to get something from the bottom shelf of a cabinet. I managed to keep it all professional, but I swear I pulled something in my brain with the effort it took not to grab her ever so nicely presented posterior.
> 
> Then I realized afterward that nobody was around or had sight lines on us, and I totally missed an opportunity to tease her!



Tad and Mrs Tad are totally my relationship goals. =p You two are so cute together!

As for what I did derpy today, I was cleaning under my shower and accidentally knocked the cold water tap, causing the shower to rain ice cold water down onto my head. For several seconds before my brain caught up and I managed to convince my hands to turn the tap off.

I've been dripping sadly around my house since. :doh:


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## Xyantha Reborn (Nov 18, 2016)

No. The offsite was so terrible is soiled my soul.

We have to have synergistic capabilities to ensure we can pivot to productivity, planning for a future proof solution by extending our roadmap and technologies to meet business needs.

*runs to the bathroom to vomit. Comes back*

And the people I work with are so low calibre that i question how much longer i can do this.

*goes back to tell her project team how asking a SVP to find a desktop to bypass a defect, or to use "tab" to navigate the form because the scroll bar doesn't work is unacceptable*


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## Doom7951 (Nov 18, 2016)

Well, it wasn't today, but still worthy of this thread.

Called home to talk with my dad a little bit before I had to go to work. Got my uniform on and started grabbing my wallet, keys, and start panicking when I can't seem to find my phone. While I'm still talking to my dad. Apparently, I had convinced myself that I'd developed telepathy for a few minutes.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Mar 15, 2017)

I didn't shovel because it's all going to melt in two days. As I told my hubby why I hadn't shovelled, just threw salt down, I stepped down the first stair on the deck...

...and my feet flew out from under me, I landed on my ass/back, and slid down the other four stairs.

There is irony in it happening just after I told my hubby it was fine. 
And there is wisdom in him waiting for me to point that out, rather than mocking me when it happened, lol.

Now everything is stiffening and aching...but my book is coming today so who cares!!!


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## Tad (Mar 15, 2017)

1) Ouch! (and this is something I always fear)

2) Always shovel ;-)

3) What book?


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## Xyantha Reborn (Mar 15, 2017)

But but I hate shovelling just for it to melt (and also sigh you are right)

Shadow's Seduction by kelsey cole - Xy's going to devour that book within two hours of being home. Nomnomnom word food!!


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## Xyantha Reborn (Jul 18, 2017)

Sooo i always have this apprehension when shaving in the shower of cutting my nipples off - like the same sort of cringy apprehension i used to have about sharp things near my eyes. Hey - shaving off an eyebrow is bad but shaving off a nipple would be way worse. That boob would have to wear a patch like a sex pirate.

Anywho - same thought flashed through my mind as i stood, back to the shower, leg up on the tub. Reached behind me to get water on the blade with my left hand - and i cut my fucking hip! Like a 4 inch smarting slice!

So i feel dumb BUT rhe nipple concern is validated!!!!!!


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## LeoGibson (Jul 18, 2017)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> Sooo i always have this apprehension when shaving in the shower of cutting my nipples off - like the same sort of cringy apprehension i used to have about sharp things near my eyes. Hey - shaving off an eyebrow is bad but shaving off a nipple would be way worse. That boob would have to wear a patch like a sex pirate.
> 
> Anywho - same thought flashed through my mind as i stood, back to the shower, leg up on the tub. Reached behind me to get water on the blade with my left hand - and i cut my fucking hip! Like a 4 inch smarting slice!
> 
> So i feel dumb BUT rhe nipple concern is validated!!!!!!



Do you have a hairy chest? I'm not seeing where a razor blade should be anywhere near your nipple.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Jul 18, 2017)

Underarms are very close to the perky tatas!!


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## dwesterny (Jul 18, 2017)

I just assumed you had hairy boobs tbh.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Jul 18, 2017)

dwesterny said:


> I just assumed you had hairy boobs tbh.




Don't project on me =p


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## dwesterny (Jul 18, 2017)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> Don't project on me =p



My boobs are naturally hairless tyvm.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Jul 18, 2017)

dwesterny said:


> My boobs are naturally hairless tyvm.



Riiigghht.


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## LeoGibson (Jul 18, 2017)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> Underarms are very close to the perky tatas!!



Are you laying down in the shower? Usually that's when the nipple gets near the underarm!! I think you might be doing it wrong.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Jul 18, 2017)

LeoGibson said:


> Are you laying down in the shower? Usually that's when the nipple gets near the underarm!! I think you might be doing it wrong.



Thats only for moobs that slouch sideways!


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## dwesterny (Jul 18, 2017)

Probably uses a straight razor, that's why.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Jul 18, 2017)

There's an easy, bloodless solution staring you right in the face: quit shaving your underarms and affect a French accent. People will think you're exotic.


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## Anjula (Jul 21, 2017)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> Underarms are very close to the perky tatas!!



I can give you my totally not perky tits in exchange for yours and you won't have to worry about cutting off your nipple because it won't be anywhere near your blade, deal?


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## dwesterny (Jul 21, 2017)

Mine are hairless and perky! Right? That's perky. 

View attachment 1491951495109.jpg


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## hommecreux (Jul 21, 2017)

Moobs ftw..... you guys know what I'm saying haha.... 

Instead of that, just get a pushup "bro", after a while you wont have to worry about sag. lol


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## Anjula (Jul 21, 2017)

Dwest you're such a pic whore


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## dwesterny (Jul 21, 2017)

Anjula said:


> Dwest you're such a pic whore



Innacurate. Whores get paid.


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## Anjula (Jul 22, 2017)

dwesterny said:


> Innacurate. Whores get paid.


You're a volunteer ?


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## dwesterny (Jul 22, 2017)

Anjula said:


> You're a volunteer ?



My moobs are a natural resource.


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