# What's it like to have sex??



## Jes (Apr 16, 2006)

I mean, can someone remind me, please? Maybe draw me a little stick-figure sketch on a cocktail napkin or something? 

This is a shout out to all those high and dry! With all the nervous tension I have going, you'd think I'd have much nicer furniture (Shaker joke. It was a throw away, just go with it).

*sigh*

You'll find me in the woodshop, with the lathe.


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Apr 16, 2006)

You know what Ryan had the audacity to say to me this afternoon? "I'd rather not have sex unless I knew we were going to have a long term relationship." What's wrong with being my cheap trick, huh?


----------



## herin (Apr 16, 2006)

I'd really love to remember. It's been so long, I think I'll need to pull out the instruction manual.


----------



## Jes (Apr 16, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> You know what Ryan had the audacity to say to me this afternoon? "I'd rather not have sex unless I knew we were going to have a long term relationship." What's wrong with being my cheap trick, huh?


I feel like I know more about Ryan than I should, now. You 2 kids haven't even met one another. it's all good!


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Apr 16, 2006)

I plan on taking my vacation in the fall to go see him. Whether it's as a friend or something else, I don't know.


----------



## Tiger's_Lily (Apr 16, 2006)

*I was hoping to recall the feeling this weekend.....alas.....it was not to be.... 

Now, where's that pencil......one or two stick-figures coming up or is that down or was it up and down?  *


----------



## Miss Vickie (Apr 16, 2006)

Man, Jes, I wish I could help you out. But with our crazy mis-matched schedules (I work nights, he works days, with a long commute ta boot) and two teenagers in the house, it takes an act of Congress to "make it so".

*sigh*


----------



## 1300 Class (Apr 16, 2006)

Unofrtunately there is a national napikin shortage at the moment...


----------



## CleverBomb (Apr 16, 2006)

I was wondering when someone would do this topic... for the last couple of days, the sex topics have all been cut down in preview to "what's it like to have sex...".
You beat me to it. LOL

Sex is like... well... um. You know, sex. Right?

-Rusty


----------



## Tiger's_Lily (Apr 16, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> You know what Ryan had the audacity to say to me this afternoon? "I'd rather not have sex unless I knew we were going to have a long term relationship." What's wrong with being my cheap trick, huh?



*
With a girl who as good looking as yourself.....if a guy said that to me....I'd have to ask myself if the guy was....ummmm...now what was the question?   *


----------



## Timberwolf (Apr 16, 2006)

Jes said:


> I mean, can someone remind me, please? Maybe draw me a little stick-figure sketch on a cocktail napkin or something?
> 
> This is a shout out to all those high and dry! With all the nervous tension I have going, you'd think I'd have much nicer furniture (Shaker joke. It was a throw away, just go with it).
> 
> ...


 
Sorry, still tryin' to figure out...


----------



## Totmacher (Apr 16, 2006)

I'm guessing there's an orthodox religeous group known for their sexual prudishness and remarkable craftsmanship and Jes is saying she has about the same amount of sex without making all the pretty furniture. Y'know, I was just thinking about driving to Philly today.


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Apr 16, 2006)

Tiger's_Lily said:


> *
> With a girl who as good looking as yourself.....if a guy said that to me....I'd have to ask myself if the guy was....ummmm...now what was the question?   *



Honey, he isn't gay. If he were gay, that'd be less pressure on me.


----------



## Ryan (Apr 16, 2006)

Tiger's_Lily said:


> *
> With a girl who as good looking as yourself.....if a guy said that to me....I'd have to ask myself if the guy was....ummmm...now what was the question?   *



If I was gay I would have ruled out any chance of sex at all. But I don't do the "friends with benefits" thing. If I decide that I'd prefer to have someone as a friend, I want to make sure we stay strictly friends.


----------



## Tiger's_Lily (Apr 16, 2006)

Ryan said:


> If I was gay I would have ruled out any chance of sex at all. But I don't do the "friends with benefits" thing. If I decide that I'd prefer to have someone as a friend, I want to make sure we stay strictly friends.



*Have you read what you've just written? *If 'I' decide that 'I'd' prefer to have someone as a friend........oh my god you guys have NO idea of how women think!!!

You've made up your mind!.....have you given any thought what so ever of how the girl in question feels? 

Ok, maybe this has nothing to do with any of us here, however it wasn't me who brought the whole thing to this thread!

I've got a feeling you and someone else has some serious talking to do.*


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Apr 16, 2006)

Tiger's_Lily said:


> *Have you read what you've just written? *If 'I' decide that 'I'd' prefer to have someone as a friend........oh my god you guys have NO idea of how women think!!!
> 
> You've made up your mind!.....have you given any thought what so ever of how the girl in question feels?
> 
> ...



The girl in question really likes and respects Ryan, and is happy to have whatever relationship she can with Ryan. Not to say she won't be disappointed, but she will get by.


----------



## Ryan (Apr 16, 2006)

Tiger's_Lily said:


> Have you read what you've just written? *If 'I' decide that 'I'd' prefer to have someone as a friend........oh my god you guys have NO idea of how women think!!!



Which part of how women think am I not getting?



Tiger's_Lily said:


> You've made up your mind!.....have you given any thought what so ever of how the girl in question feels?



No, I certainly haven't made up my mind. And yes, I've thought about how the woman in question feels. We've talked about it quite a bit.



Tiger's_Lily said:


> Ok, maybe this has nothing to do with any of us here, however it wasn't me who brought the whole thing to this thread!



I know you didn't bring it up, and I really don't mind that it was brought up in the first place. And please don't think I was angry at you or anyone else. I was just clarifying.


----------



## Tiger's_Lily (Apr 16, 2006)

*Ryan, dear sweet lad!!!.........for goodness sake!!!! You have a beautiful, intelligent young woman who is willing to share her body and soul with you. For god's sake, STOP thinking so bloody much and do something about it!!! If the union of your bodies isn't what you both expected, well at least you'll know!!! 

You'll never never know......if you never never go!!! Or come....which ever the case may be....:smitten: 

ok, that's my two cents worth, it's up to you two kids now..... 

Young love, ain't it grand!!!!! :wubu: *


----------



## Jane (Apr 16, 2006)

Ryan, SL, you two work it out, and have fun doing so.
You're both great folks who are getting to know each other, and have fun doing so.
You're gonna find what works for you, and have fun doing so.

(Note the continuing theme)


----------



## WouldBeFeedee (Apr 16, 2006)

I wish I could help, but it's been so long that I can't quite recall. One thing is for sure though... I've - if you will pardon my bluntness - been gagging for it for over a week now. My husband cannot understand why my electric toothbrush has suddenly begun to require recharging so often.


----------



## xoxoshelby (Apr 16, 2006)

Jes said:


> I mean, can someone remind me, please? Maybe draw me a little stick-figure sketch on a cocktail napkin or something?
> 
> This is a shout out to all those high and dry! With all the nervous tension I have going, you'd think I'd have much nicer furniture (Shaker joke. It was a throw away, just go with it).
> 
> ...




Maybe this will help Jes: http://www.starterupsteve.com/swf/Group_X_video.html


----------



## Timberwolf (Apr 16, 2006)

*sigh* somehow flat...


----------



## Ryan (Apr 16, 2006)

Tiger's_Lily said:


> *Ryan, dear sweet lad!!!.........for goodness sake!!!! You have a beautiful, intelligent young woman who is willing to share her body and soul with you. For god's sake, STOP thinking so bloody much and do something about it!!! If the union of your bodies isn't what you both expected, well at least you'll know!!!
> 
> You'll never never know......if you never never go!!! Or come....which ever the case may be....:smitten:
> 
> ...



There are things beyond my control that may come into play at some point in her life, and I'm not sure if these are things I'm willing to deal with. It's an issue of how I feel about these possible situations, not an issue of how I feel about her. We've talked about it quite a bit over the last few days, and we understand and respect each other's feelings about this.


----------



## Miss Vickie (Apr 16, 2006)

Ryan, you and SL do what's right for YOU, and don't let any of us, however well meaning, pressure you into something you're not comfortable with. After all, it's your frendship/relationship. Do what feels right to the both of you.

And good luck! Relationships are hard, and long distance ones doubly so.


----------



## moonvine (Apr 16, 2006)

Tiger's_Lily said:


> *
> With a girl who as good looking as yourself.....if a guy said that to me....I'd have to ask myself if the guy was....ummmm...now what was the question?   *



I'd love it if a guy said that to me. I think it would show respect for me as well as himself.


----------



## WouldBeFeedee (Apr 16, 2006)

xoxoshelby said:


> http://www.starterupsteve.com/swf/Group_X_video.html


It took me a while to twig that it might make more sense with my speakers turned up. Without the soundtrack it was somewhat, erm, random.


----------



## moonvine (Apr 16, 2006)

Tiger's_Lily said:


> *Have you read what you've just written? *If 'I' decide that 'I'd' prefer to have someone as a friend........oh my god you guys have NO idea of how women think!!!
> 
> You've made up your mind!.....have you given any thought what so ever of how the girl in question feels?
> 
> ...



I think he is doing just fine.

Apparently *I* have no idea how women think either, which is odd as I am one.


----------



## moonvine (Apr 16, 2006)

Jes,

To answer your question, I seem to remember that it is ok. Not quite as good as watching TV, though.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Apr 16, 2006)

SL and Ryan ((((((((((hugs)))))))))

You two are too cute for words. It's a big lonely world out there and that the two of you found each other and care that much about each other is so wonderful!

Keep talking - is my best advice. And take it slow you have all the time in the world to get to know each other - and enjoy every single second of it!:wubu:


----------



## sweetnnekked (Apr 16, 2006)

Ryan said:


> If I was gay I would have ruled out any chance of sex at all. But I don't do the "friends with benefits" thing. If I decide that I'd prefer to have someone as a friend, I want to make sure we stay strictly friends.



I agree with you Ryan but it seems like guys have such a rep as wanting to get into a womens' pants as soon as we meet, that it knocks 'em for loop if we don't!
I'm a waiter, at least I used to be. Now all I wait for is the sun to rise and then set again.
I'm glad someone brought up this subject. I was afraid to mention it. It's nice to know I'm not the only one.


----------



## Ryan (Apr 16, 2006)

sweetnnekked said:


> I agree with you Ryan but it seems like guys have such a rep as wanting to get into a womens' pants as soon as we meet, that it knocks 'em for loop if we don't!
> I'm a waiter, at least I used to be. Now all I wait for is the sun to rise and then set again.
> I'm glad someone brought up this subject. I was afraid to mention it. It's nice to know I'm not the only one.



I'm not suggesting that people should wait until they are married to have sex, or anything along those lines. I think it's more difficult for two people to be "just friends" if they are romantically/sexually involved in any way, or have been in the past. If I _really_ value somebody as a friend but know that a relationship is out of the question, I wouldn't want there to be any romantic activities that could jeopardize the friendship.


----------



## sweetnnekked (Apr 16, 2006)

Ryan said:


> I'm not suggesting that people should wait until they are married to have sex, or anything along those lines. I think it's more difficult for two people to be "just friends" if they are romantically/sexually involved in any way, or have been in the past. If I _really_ value somebody as a friend but know that a relationship is out of the question, I wouldn't want there to be any romantic activities that could jeopardize the friendship.



In total agreement. I just can't put as eloquently as you!


----------



## Jes (Apr 16, 2006)

sweetnnekked said:


> In total agreement. I just can't put as eloquently as you!


Yeah, yeah, I've had enough moonlit walks on the beach to last a lifetime--now I want some hot, hot humpin'.


----------



## Tiger's_Lily (Apr 16, 2006)

Jes said:


> Yeah, yeah, I've had enough moonlit walks on the beach to last a lifetime--now I want some hot, hot humpin'.



*How could any man resist your charms, Jes?  *


----------



## Blackjack (Apr 16, 2006)

Jes said:


> Yeah, yeah, I've had enough moonlit walks on the beach to last a lifetime--now I want some hot, hot humpin'.



Come up north to CT. I need my virginity stolen.


----------



## ThatFatGirl (Apr 16, 2006)

I've just gotten home from taking my boyfriend to the airport. We've had two and a half fun-filled days of sweaty, passionate sexcapades on top of, between and nearly tied up with my newly christened cotton knit sheets (so comfy in the summer) and one evening with my family for an early Easter celebration. My mom moved the family gathering to last night so my bf could be included since his flight was at 5pm today. Is she awesome or what? Only tricky part was making up activities we'd been up to since he arrived late Thursday night. I couldn't possibly tell my very Catholic mother how one of the support beams on my bed came crashing down in the top left corner of my bed Friday morning leaving the mattress at a most-spectacular angle that made our frequent fornication most exquisite - and honestly I think neither my boyfriend or I thought it could get better than it was - but this was a _very good_ angle.

We had a wonderful weekend and long hugs and tears at the airport. We aren't going to see eachother again until Memorial Day weekend. It's heart wrenching in some ways and yet really satisfying knowing someone I feel so much for, feels for me too and is just a phone call away. I think I'm rambling now, but back to the thread topic, the sex was f*ing wonderful.

I might also mention I am one of the Ryan/TSL cheerleaders. You're both very lucky to have found a good friend here and what you have already is something very special... enjoy and best of everything to you. (p.s. Long distance relationships _can_ work and I'm pulling for you.  )


----------



## Thrifty McGriff (Apr 16, 2006)

To answer the original question: I wouldn't know.


----------



## ripley (Apr 16, 2006)

If a woman said that she wanted to wait we'd laud her...it's a man and all of a sudden something is wrong?


----------



## Blackjack (Apr 16, 2006)

ripley said:


> If a woman said that she wanted to wait we'd laud her...it's a man and all of a sudden something is wrong?



HOORAY FOR DOUBLE STANDARDS!


----------



## love dubh (Apr 16, 2006)

"Society" calls for men want sex 24/7 and for women to be purists. But the moment it's the other way around, oh noez!

Social conventions are lame.


----------



## Thrifty McGriff (Apr 16, 2006)

maire dubh said:


> "Society" calls for men want sex 24/7 and for women to be purists. But the moment it's the other way around, oh noez!
> 
> Social conventions are lame.



What Ripley, Blackjack and Maire Dubh said.  If society got it's grubby little paws on me and pried me open, it would say "WTF?!?". But I'm sneaky and evasive, and I avoid society at every turn! It's always out there, lurking in the shadows, waiting for the right time to pounce and mutilate we the prey. But I'll show it who's boss! *Shakes his fist indignantly*


----------



## Zoom (Apr 16, 2006)

What's it like to have Sex? I don't know; I suppose the same as any other book by Madonna.


----------



## Jes (Apr 16, 2006)

Tiger's_Lily said:


> *How could any man resist your charms, Jes?  *


How indeed, Tiger's Lily, how indeed. The mind wobbles.


----------



## Jes (Apr 16, 2006)

Blackjack said:


> Come up north to CT. I need my virginity stolen.


Need photos first (and not of your...manatee)


----------



## NintendoXcore (Apr 16, 2006)

Medaporicly speaking. Its like washing your hands after you change your oil. Clean and innocent but oh-so dirty.


----------



## FreeThinker (Apr 16, 2006)

herin said:


> I'd really love to remember. It's been so long, I think I'll need to pull out the instruction manual.


Instruction _*Manuel*_ ?


----------



## AnnMarie (Apr 17, 2006)

Jes said:


> Yeah, yeah, I've had enough moonlit walks on the beach to last a lifetime--now I want some hot, hot humpin'.



I hear ya loud and clear lady. I mean, I'd like it all (well, not walking on the beach, the sand is a bitch for fat girls), but when the rest just isn't there, there's nothing wrong with finding a healthy, fun, mutually understand sexual outlet... ya know?

A steady, fun, booty call would do right about now. They're harder to find than you think. 

And Jes, I can't help you with what it's like... been too damn long, and even the last one was nothing to write home about (you know, the anti-semite story).


----------



## Blackjack (Apr 17, 2006)

FreeThinker said:


> Instruction _*Manuel*_ ?




_*MANUEL!!!*_


----------



## EvilPrincess (Apr 17, 2006)

FreeThinker said:


> Instruction _*Manuel*_ ?


 
<groan.....> 


<eye roll>


----------



## AnnMarie (Apr 17, 2006)

NintendoXcore said:


> Medaporicly speaking. Its like washing your hands after you change your oil. Clean and innocent but oh-so dirty.




How YOU doin? :smitten:


----------



## FreeThinker (Apr 17, 2006)

EvilPrincess said:


> <groan.....>
> 
> 
> <eye roll>


I _live_ for these responses from you, your Highness!

Kinda pathetic, innit?


----------



## NintendoXcore (Apr 17, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> How YOU doin? :smitten:



Lol. Good how bout you.


----------



## EvilPrincess (Apr 17, 2006)

FreeThinker said:


> I _live_ for these responses from you, your Highness!
> 
> Kinda pathetic, innit?


 

No, not pathetic, not at all cupcake, not at all 
<crosses fingers behind back>


----------



## Phalloidium (Apr 17, 2006)

I heard it's like warm apple strudel.


----------



## Sandie S-R (Apr 17, 2006)

Jes said:


> I mean, can someone remind me, please? Maybe draw me a little stick-figure sketch on a cocktail napkin or something?....



Who needs stick figures, when you have smilies??








Hope this helps, Jes.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Apr 17, 2006)

What's it like? Well I could tell you in great detail - but I'm already in trouble.


----------



## AnnMarie (Apr 17, 2006)

NintendoXcore said:


> Lol. Good how bout you.



**giggles and tries to figure out what to say next, hadn't thought that far ahead**


----------



## AnnMarie (Apr 17, 2006)

Phalloidium said:


> I heard it's like warm apple strudel.




LOL.... oh dear, I don't even know what to say about that.


----------



## Phalloidium (Apr 17, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> LOL.... oh dear, I don't even know what to say about that.



It's yummy, that's what, silly girl.


----------



## AnnMarie (Apr 17, 2006)

Phalloidium said:


> It's yummy, that's what, silly girl.



Oh right, of course that's what you meant!!! My mind is always in the gutter.


----------



## Phalloidium (Apr 17, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> Oh right, of course that's what you meant!!! My mind is always in the gutter.



Lemme guess... you were imagining some bloke dongin' a pastry, weren't you?


----------



## Isa (Apr 17, 2006)

Sandie S-R said:


> Who needs stick figures, when you have smilies??
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
LOL. It definitely helped jog my memory


----------



## AnnMarie (Apr 17, 2006)

Phalloidium said:


> Lemme guess... you were imagining some bloke dongin' a pastry, weren't you?




Who me???? NAaahhhhhhh.


----------



## Phalloidium (Apr 17, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> Who me???? NAaahhhhhhh.



Is that an M&M with a halo?


----------



## Fuzzy (Apr 17, 2006)

Mmmmmm... Heavenly M&Ms.....


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Apr 17, 2006)

Ryan said:


> I'm not suggesting that people should wait until they are married to have sex, or anything along those lines. I think it's more difficult for two people to be "just friends" if they are romantically/sexually involved in any way, or have been in the past. If I _really_ value somebody as a friend but know that a relationship is out of the question, I wouldn't want there to be any romantic activities that could jeopardize the friendship.



Honestly, I think that's absolutely true. However, being twenty-one, my hormones often disagree.


----------



## ripley (Apr 17, 2006)

Is it weird that the humpin' smilies got me excited?


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Apr 17, 2006)

ripley said:


> Is it weird that the humpin' smilies got me excited?


*
Yes.*

(it's a joke - I kid - I kid) lol


----------



## sweetnnekked (Apr 17, 2006)

Phalloidium said:


> I heard it's like warm apple strudel.



With Icing!!


----------



## Phalloidium (Apr 17, 2006)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> *
> Yes.*
> 
> (it's a joke - I kid - I kid) lol



I was going to reply with that, but you beat me to it!


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Apr 17, 2006)

Phalloidium said:


> I was going to reply with that, but you beat me to it!



GMTA!! I like you!


----------



## ripley (Apr 17, 2006)

I knew I was begging for that from one of you yahoos.


----------



## collegeguy2514 (Apr 17, 2006)

if i ever find out, i'll post the results here asap.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Apr 17, 2006)

ripley said:


> I knew I was begging for that from one of you yahoos.



Well when you give a straight line like that - you gotta expect it!! LOL


----------



## Jes (Apr 17, 2006)

NintendoXcore said:


> Medaporicly speaking. Its like washing your hands after you change your oil. Clean and innocent but oh-so dirty.


Look at you, rockin' that western style, nintendo!!


----------



## NintendoXcore (Apr 17, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> **giggles and tries to figure out what to say next, hadn't thought that far ahead**



Aha! It would seem my wit and charm has pulled through again! 

*turns to page 2 of Romancing for Dummies*


----------



## NintendoXcore (Apr 17, 2006)

Jes said:


> Look at you, rockin' that western style, nintendo!!



Lol. I've only worn' that shirt three times. It looks good on me, I think.


----------



## formerking (Apr 17, 2006)

ThatFatGirl said:


> I've just gotten home from taking my boyfriend to the airport. We've had two and a half fun-filled days of sweaty, passionate sexcapades on top of, between and nearly tied up with my newly christened cotton knit sheets (so comfy in the summer) and one evening with my family for an early Easter celebration. My mom moved the family gathering to last night so my bf could be included since his flight was at 5pm today. Is she awesome or what? Only tricky part was making up activities we'd been up to since he arrived late Thursday night. I couldn't possibly tell my very Catholic mother how one of the support beams on my bed came crashing down in the top left corner of my bed Friday morning leaving the mattress at a most-spectacular angle that made our frequent fornication most exquisite - and honestly I think neither my boyfriend or I thought it could get better than it was - but this was a _very good_ angle.



Your boyfried smiled on his trip home most certainly.


----------



## ThatFatGirl (Apr 17, 2006)

formerking said:


> Your boyfried smiled on his trip home most certainly.



I'm _still _smiling today. :wubu:


----------



## Jes (Apr 17, 2006)

ThatFatGirl said:


> I'm _still _smiling today. :wubu:


SOmeone's got that Hi-Pro Glow!


----------



## AnnMarie (Apr 17, 2006)

Jes said:


> SOmeone's got that Hi-Pro Glow!



Is that anything like a Soul Glow?

*damn Image Search... how can there not be a screen capture of that freakin' ad!!*


----------



## AnnMarie (Apr 17, 2006)

NintendoXcore said:


> Aha! It would seem my wit and charm has pulled through again!
> 
> *turns to page 2 of Romancing for Dummies*



I should really get that book. Soo.... come here often? :kiss2:


----------



## NintendoXcore (Apr 17, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> I should really get that book. Soo.... come here often? :kiss2:



Lol. Not too often. I just introduced my g/f to the whole SA and Feederism thing. Needless to say I got her to want to gain weight:shocked: She's pretty much amazing. haha. So I figure, why not sign up for the dimensions boards! :bow:


----------



## CleverBomb (Apr 17, 2006)

Sex is something so dirty, nasty, and shameful that you should save it as an expression of your true, eternal love for someone. 

Or G*d will kill a kitten.
Please! Think of the kittens!

-Rusty


----------



## AnnMarie (Apr 17, 2006)

NintendoXcore said:


> Lol. Not too often. I just introduced my g/f to the whole SA and Feederism thing. Needless to say I got her to want to gain weight:shocked: She's pretty much amazing. haha. So I figure, why not sign up for the dimensions boards! :bow:



That's very cool (about introducing her to the whole thing, the feeder thing is between you two  ), you should have her jump on in!


----------



## Jes (Apr 17, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> Is that anything like a Soul Glow?
> 
> *damn Image Search... how can there not be a screen capture of that freakin' ad!!*


I've always called it the Hi Pro Glow and I've called people out on it, too. You can tell, a lot, and so I'll just yell it after friends. Oh yes, I will. And then they try to deny it, but they have the biggest smile and I'm like: good try!


----------



## GWARrior (Apr 17, 2006)

i would just like to say

I HAD SEX LAST NIGHT.

it was pretty rad.


----------



## Phalloidium (Apr 17, 2006)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> GMTA!! I like you!



Everyone loves Phalloidium! At least that's what they say when they're cowering in fear >


----------



## GWARrior (Apr 17, 2006)

CleverBomb said:


> Sex is something so dirty, nasty, and shameful that you should save it as an expression of your true, eternal love for someone.
> 
> Or G*d will kill a kitten.
> Please! Think of the kittens!
> ...



sooo.... we should save the dirty, nasty, shameful stuff for someone we LOVE? that makes no sense.

and god only kills kittens if you vote republican!!


----------



## NintendoXcore (Apr 17, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> That's very cool (about introducing her to the whole thing, the feeder thing is between you two  ), you should have her jump on in!



She is on. She just never posts or anything ((shes very very very shy.))


----------



## falloftroy7 (Apr 17, 2006)

NintendoXcore said:


> She is on. She just never posts or anything ((shes very very very shy.))



did someone say i was shy?!


----------



## Phalloidium (Apr 17, 2006)

falloftroy7 said:


> did someone say i was shy?!



Yes. Someone did.


----------



## OpalBBW (Apr 17, 2006)

Well to answer the original question (yes I'm going back to that) I can't remember either. I went from a 3 year relationship with sex almost every 3 hours, every day.. to this... nothing at all. 5 months and i've forgotten everything. someone please tell me it's like riding a bike and i'll remember the next time i have an opportunity!?!?!?


----------



## CleverBomb (Apr 18, 2006)

GWARrior said:


> sooo.... we should save the dirty, nasty, shameful stuff for someone we LOVE? that makes no sense.
> 
> and god only kills kittens if you vote republican!!



Your're right -- it *does* make no sense!
What does that have to do with the title of this particular post? Why am I talking about a Wookie? That makes no sense either!
So you *have* to agree with me!

The Chewbacca Defense transcends refutation.

-Rusty


----------



## Jes (Apr 18, 2006)

CleverBomb said:


> Your're right -- it *does* make no sense!
> What does that have to do with the title of this particular post? Why am I talking about a Wookie? That makes no sense either!
> So you *have* to agree with me!
> 
> ...



if i tell you the correct spelling of wookiee, will you assume it's the reason i'm not having sex??


----------



## Jack Skellington (Apr 18, 2006)

Jes said:


> if i tell you the correct spelling of wookiee, will you assume it's the reason i'm not having sex??


 
That's nothing, I know the correct spelling of the Wookiee home world. 

It's Kashyyyk BTW.


----------



## GWARrior (Apr 18, 2006)

CleverBomb said:


> Your're right -- it *does* make no sense!
> What does that have to do with the title of this particular post? Why am I talking about a Wookie? That makes no sense either!
> So you *have* to agree with me!
> 
> ...




I LOVE Chewie! The best birthday present I ever got was my big cardboard Chewie! He's in my bedroom, watching me while I sleep!


----------



## Jes (Apr 18, 2006)

Jack Skellington said:


> That's nothing, I know the correct spelling of the Wookiee home world.
> 
> It's Kashyyyk BTW.


Nerdlinger alert.


----------



## Jack Skellington (Apr 18, 2006)

Jes said:


> Nerdlinger alert.



That's Lord, God, Emperor nerd to you mortal.


----------



## Jes (Apr 18, 2006)

Jack Skellington said:


> That's Lord, God, Emperor nerd to you mortal.


you wish, weenie.


----------



## Jack Skellington (Apr 18, 2006)

Jes said:


> you wish, weenie.



I am also King of the wussies, high exalted master of the geeks and patron saint of the dweebs.


----------



## Jane (Apr 19, 2006)




----------



## OpalBBW (Apr 19, 2006)

That was a good laugh... Okay, I'll admit, I'm still laughing at that one


----------



## Blackjack_Jeeves (Apr 19, 2006)

I'm just.... gonna keep laughing at that one for a while here..... hahaa......


----------



## formerking (Apr 19, 2006)

Jane said:


>



Oh God! 

ROFL


----------



## BigBawdyDame (Apr 19, 2006)

Jane said:


>


LOVE IT!!! ROFL!!!


----------



## missaf (Apr 19, 2006)

So whattaya call it when a woman gets blue balls or wet dreams?


----------



## Tina (Apr 19, 2006)

Impossible and Wonderful. Respectively.


----------



## Fuzzy (Apr 19, 2006)

Wet dreams wake me up. I mean, right up! I'm like George Jetson...

"Jane! Stop this crazy thing!"


----------



## Ryan (Apr 19, 2006)

Fuzzy said:


> Wet dreams wake me up. I mean, right up! I'm like George Jetson...
> 
> "Jane! Stop this crazy thing!"



That sucks, doesn't it? If the dream is _that_ good, why the hell would anyone want to wake up?


----------



## missaf (Apr 19, 2006)

Tina said:


> Impossible and Wonderful. Respectively.



Well, I mean, not blue balls, but that unsatiated ache when you are still waiting and rearing to go...


----------



## Jes (Apr 19, 2006)

missaf said:


> Well, I mean, not blue balls, but that unsatiated ache when you are still waiting and rearing to go...


Oh, you mean 'every day?'


----------



## missaf (Apr 19, 2006)

Jes said:


> Oh, you mean 'every day?'



Yeah, for me, it's been every day for a long time.... too long to say, it's embarassing.


----------



## rainyday (Apr 20, 2006)

missaf said:


> Well, I mean, not blue balls, but that unsatiated ache when you are still waiting and rearing to go...



"rearing to go"--Funny, no? 

Has anyone else noticed that all week there have been little funny twists/typos on the board that result in something hilarious given the context. I've seen about four this week. I was going to start a thread to memorialize them but I was afraid the good humor it's meant in might not be clear.

My own contribution would have been from the post I made that said "Edted to add missing letter."


----------



## Edens_heel (Apr 20, 2006)

Jes said:


> I mean, can someone remind me, please? Maybe draw me a little stick-figure sketch on a cocktail napkin or something?
> 
> This is a shout out to all those high and dry! With all the nervous tension I have going, you'd think I'd have much nicer furniture (Shaker joke. It was a throw away, just go with it).
> 
> ...




I'd love to help you out here, but the furthest I've ever been with anyone is the oral stage...still a virgin in the strictest sense of the word.

...I think I'll go and cry over the 40 year old Virgin...I'm on my way...damnit


----------



## Jes (Apr 20, 2006)

Edens_heel said:


> I'd love to help you out here, but the furthest I've ever been with anyone is the oral stage...still a virgin in the strictest sense of the word.
> 
> ...I think I'll go and cry over the 40 year old Virgin...I'm on my way...damnit


oh, monkey, I'm sorry to hear it (unless your virginity is by choice). Interestingly enough, having seen your ad over on the fish site, I'd never have contacted you, ever (mind you, I'm not great at contacting men to begin with, so that might not be saying much). I'd have figured I'm some 100 lbs. over what you're looking for, at the very least.


----------



## Edens_heel (Apr 20, 2006)

Well Jes, I'm not really sure why I gave that impression. I guess I was trying to appeal to a broader spectrum, as I won't ONLY date a BBW... I am honestly one of those in it for the personality first and foremost, so I never really have too much of aphysical ideal in mind when I fill out on of those things.

But to be clear, I have dated an entire spectrum. Oddly enough, the longest running relationship I ever maintained was with a marathon runner, about 5'8" and just shy of 120 lbs. I can't honestly say I was physically attracted, but I've never found someone else who shared so many of my interests. But I've dated her, I just recently dated someone around 5'6" and 240, I had another relaitionship with a girl about my height but closer to 200, and one short lived tryst with an ssbbw... unfortunately, SHE turned out to be a player. Didn't see that coming.

But the virginity is by choice. Up until very recently, I've been a full time university student and I've a serious workaholic, so most relationships have fizzled because of that, and now I'm spending my days writing, volunteering, and planning for a masters while building towards hitting up some publishers, so still, not enough time. So I never chose to have sex on one hand because, if something happened (like an accidental kid) it would seriously derail my plans. And on the other hand, I will only do it with someone if I know the relationship is going to last.

Wow, that was more long-winded than I though...I guess I've proved in a couple of short days that I more or less lack the ability to shut up!


----------



## Santaclear (Apr 21, 2006)

Every four minutes another person in North America forgets what it's like to have sex. 

Do what you can, people.


----------



## Jes (Apr 21, 2006)

i swear. this has just gotten unbearable.


----------



## VideoGamer (Apr 23, 2006)

This post could also go in that "deep confessions" thread (as well as proof that I'm down to my last two or three neurons of self-respect), but I actually called a call girl this weekend for companionship. (She came in, took a look at me and confusedly bellowed, "What does a _college boy _like you need me for?!?" It was more insult than compliment, but I managed to distort it within my mind until it was said as high praise for my looks.)


----------



## ripley (Apr 23, 2006)

That's what I need! A giggolo!


----------



## Tina (Apr 23, 2006)

Edens_heel said:


> But the virginity is by choice. Up until very recently, I've been a full time university student and I've a serious workaholic, so most relationships have fizzled because of that, and now I'm spending my days writing, volunteering, and planning for a masters while building towards hitting up some publishers, so still, not enough time. So I never chose to have sex on one hand because, if something happened (like an accidental kid) it would seriously derail my plans. And on the other hand, I will only do it with someone if I know the relationship is going to last.



I have to say I haven't really followed this thread, but your post caught my eye. Kudos to you for your restraint and responsible attitude.


----------



## Ladyrose1952 (Apr 23, 2006)

_*Memories*_, _*Memories*_..... 

 Frankly dear, after fourteen years in dry dock, the only thing that I can remember is it felt damned good even if most of the time I had to do all the work myself, which wasn't work at all as long as I got satisfied.... 

 I know that I have GOT to read all of the replies here so my Memory might get jogged even it my libedo don't.... LOL 

 Awe, to be satisfied would be oh so favorable right about now! :wubu:


----------



## Ladyrose1952 (Apr 23, 2006)

ripley said:


> That's what I need! A giggolo!


 
Giggle being the 0perative word with all of us BBWs and BHMs.... LOL


----------



## Jes (Apr 23, 2006)

Ladyrose1952 said:


> _*Memories*_, _*Memories*_.....
> 
> Frankly dear, after fourteen years in dry dock, the only thing that I can remember is it felt damned good even if most of the time I had to do all the work myself, which wasn't work at all as long as I got satisfied....
> 
> ...



hahahah. 'dry dock.' AHHHHHH!


----------



## exile in thighville (Jun 30, 2006)

Jes said:


> I mean, can someone remind me, please? Maybe draw me a little stick-figure sketch on a cocktail napkin or something?
> 
> This is a shout out to all those high and dry! With all the nervous tension I have going, you'd think I'd have much nicer furniture (Shaker joke. It was a throw away, just go with it).
> 
> ...



jes, darling, when a man and a woman love each other very much they do a special dance...haha, i'm just joshing you. sex with me is usually kind of like a marshmallow rubbing against a swedish fish. guess which one is me


----------



## love dubh (Jun 30, 2006)

I had sex three times in one day the other Saturday. It was pretty cool.


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jun 30, 2006)

dan ex machina said:


> jes, darling, when a man and a woman love each other very much they do a special dance...haha, i'm just joshing you. sex with me is usually kind of like a marshmallow rubbing against a swedish fish. guess which one is me



I doubt you taste like cherries. That's for damned sure.


----------



## FreeThinker (Jun 30, 2006)

dan ex machina said:


> jes, darling, when a man and a woman love each other very much they do a special dance...haha, i'm just joshing you. sex with me is usually kind of like a marshmallow rubbing against a swedish fish. guess which one is me


I had heard it was like a bulldog eating mayonnaise.

.


----------



## fatlane (Jun 30, 2006)

Man, I was just at a party where everyone was getting into asexual budding.

I tried it, too. It kinda hurt, but I didn't say anything at the time. Will I go to hell for it??


----------



## Jane (Jul 1, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Man, I was just at a party where everyone was getting into asexual budding.
> 
> I tried it, too. It kinda hurt, but I didn't say anything at the time. Will I go to hell for it??


You git...you've done so much good, you'de have to sin constantly from now till doomsday to get rid of all that good Karma.


----------



## Jes (Jul 1, 2006)

dan ex machina said:


> jes, darling, when a man and a woman love each other very much they do a special dance...haha, i'm just joshing you. sex with me is usually kind of like a marshmallow rubbing against a swedish fish. guess which one is me


Who is this Josh you're talking about? He sounds hot.


----------



## GWARrior (Jul 1, 2006)

Sex? Whats that? Forgive me, its been 2 weeks.

My FWB better come visit me soon!!!!!


----------



## Fuzzy (Jul 1, 2006)

Just a gigolo 
everywhere I go 
people know the part 
I'm playing 

Paid for every dance 
selling each romance 
every night some heart 
betraying 

There will come a day 
youth will pass away 
then what will they say 
about me 

When the end comes I know 
they'll say just a gigolo 
as life goes on 
without me


----------



## ~angelpassion~ (Jul 1, 2006)

*I haven't a clue lol its been over 2 1/2 yrs. But I am told that it is kind of like riding a bike. Once you have learned it you never forget lol. *


----------



## Fuzzy (Jul 1, 2006)

Actual intercourse is.. kinda funny. Its a literal game of hokey pokey. Twister in the buff. Pin the tail on the donkey. Red Rover Red Rover...


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jul 1, 2006)

maire dubh said:


> I had sex three times in one day the other Saturday. It was pretty cool.




So Im not the only one with a superman bf? lol. gotta love that!


----------



## love dubh (Jul 2, 2006)

Yeah. It's cool, but I don't get off. :[ Howev, those brains with the lab coats and the clipboards say that only 25% of women do. Lameeeeeeeee. :[


----------



## Jes (Jul 2, 2006)

maire dubh said:


> Yeah. It's cool, but I don't get off. :[ Howev, those brains with the lab coats and the clipboards say that only 25% of women do. Lameeeeeeeee. :[


True. It's a cruel trick of fate.
Though I gotta say: 3 times in a row is nothing. NOTHING.


----------



## Esme (Jul 2, 2006)

~angelpassion~ said:


> *I haven't a clue lol its been over 2 1/2 yrs. But I am told that it is kind of like riding a bike. Once you have learned it you never forget lol. *




If it was like riding a bike, I'd be biking more.


----------



## Jack Skellington (Jul 2, 2006)

ripley said:


> That's what I need! A giggolo!



Here you go!

Knock yourself out!


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jul 2, 2006)

Jes said:


> True. It's a cruel trick of fate.
> Though I gotta say: 3 times in a row is nothing. NOTHING.




HAHA I didnt mean I only...um...had the big O 3times, lol....no, Im one of those lucky 25%  (been doing kegals since I was like 9, lol) But I got super lucky by the same guy 3 times in one 12 hour period...probably tmi, lol, sorry babe!..but damn...it was fantastic.


----------



## exile in thighville (Jul 3, 2006)

FreeThinker said:


> I had heard it was like a bulldog eating mayonnaise.
> 
> .



to be honest, mayonnaise is so unbelievably disgusting it's second to only sauerkraut on my all-time list of "foods i never want near me or thought about during a sexual romp." but yes, the rumors are true.


----------



## exile in thighville (Jul 3, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> I doubt you taste like cherries. That's for damned sure.




maybe i meant actual fish caught in sweden? and hey, who said i'm not the marshmallow? i can be cuddly and floating in cocoa too y'know, i don't see why the bbws get to hog all the fun


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jul 3, 2006)

Hm. Good point. Maybe you're a Swiss marshmallow fish?


----------



## Fuzzy (Jul 3, 2006)

FreeThinker said:


> I had heard it was like a bulldog eating mayonnaise.
> 
> .



One of the All-Time best lines on the entire board! ROFL!!!


----------



## activistfatgirl (Jul 3, 2006)

maire dubh said:


> Yeah. It's cool, but I don't get off. :[ Howev, those brains with the lab coats and the clipboards say that only 25% of women do. Lameeeeeeeee. :[



I must be a part of the 75% that can't let go of the reigns, cause thus far, ain't no one been able to love me like I love myself if you know what I mean.

An addendum: The only "Big O" I usually have with a partner is, "Oh, I should paint my room blue next week. Yeah, blue is good. Maybe with a nice mocha trim around the ceiling? But where am I going to put my things? I think I should go to Home Depot tomorrow...".


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jul 3, 2006)

activistfatgirl said:


> The only "Big O" I usually have with a partner is, "Oh, I should paint my room blue next week. Yeah, blue is good. Maybe with a nice mocha trim around the ceiling? But where am I going to put my things? I think I should go to Home Depot tomorrow...".




L M F A O!!!!!!!!! Ya know, I have had friends tell me they think about all sorts of things, like what color to paint their nails at their next manicure, what to have for dinner...etc, lol....Im all about living in the moment.


----------



## activistfatgirl (Jul 3, 2006)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> L M F A O!!!!!!!!! Ya know, I have had friends tell me they think about all sorts of things, like what color to paint their nails at their next manicure, what to have for dinner...etc, lol....Im all about living in the moment.



You are a lucky, lucky girl. Feel free to give pointers. Make a whole thread out of it.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jul 3, 2006)

activistfatgirl said:


> You are a lucky, lucky girl. Feel free to give pointers. Make a whole thread out of it.




I actually could give pointers, lol. My mom used to leave her magazines laying around when I was younger...and I was a sexual/perverted child, lol. Thats why I have been doing kegals since I was 9.

The main thing is...FOREPLAY!!! If I don't have at least 1 before intercourse then it aint going to happen for me....I have to have one without pentration to get the ball rolling.

Another key is....relax...don't think about life!

Something to remember.....a guy will never touch you the way you touch yourself. Alone, it is normal for me to have 10 or more orgasms. My poor bf has witnessed this and can't understand why I don't with him. It's a girl thing. I know my buttons and I can feel and know without having to talk.

I think humor helps too, lol, but seriously, if you want me to start a thread....I will, lol, I could go on for DAYZ about different ways to get your "o" on, lol


----------



## Fuzzy (Jul 3, 2006)

Could it be said that sex isn't about the orgasm. its about being together.


----------



## activistfatgirl (Jul 3, 2006)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> I actually could give pointers, lol. My mom used to leave her magazines laying around when I was younger...and I was a sexual/perverted child, lol. Thats why I have been doing kegals since I was 9.
> 
> The main thing is...FOREPLAY!!! If I don't have at least 1 before intercourse then it aint going to happen for me....I have to have one without pentration to get the ball rolling.
> 
> ...



And I think you should. This is an important topic for all to read.

(Glad I'm not alone on the 10 or more, wish it was always that easy!)


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jul 3, 2006)

Fuzzy said:


> Could it be said that sex isn't about the orgasm. its about being together.




It could be...but that wouldnt be true for me. I could sit on a couch watching TV being together....and a guy will almost always orgasm and it is just as important for the woman to as well...In my opinion anyways....if I was with a guy who felt that way...I would feel like a sex toy...maybe even a sex slave. We are to please eachother...not just me be "together" with him so he can orgasm. 

Sorry if that came out harshish...didn't mean it to...it's just for decades women have had orgasmless sex because they thought it was their duty to their man...and I for one say BS!


----------



## ~angelpassion~ (Jul 3, 2006)

*You are very lucky. I have yet to have one with a guy. I only can have one with the use of my "bob". I didn't even learn to do that until I was 27/28. And the ones I do have now aren't anything mind-blowing lol. And I have never had more than 2 at a time if I am lucky. *


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jul 3, 2006)

~angelpassion~ said:


> *You are very lucky. I have yet to have one with a guy. I only can have one with the use of my "bob". I didn't even learn to do that until I was 27/28. And the ones I do have now aren't anything mind-blowing lol. And I have never had more than 2 at a time if I am lucky. *



LOL, I love my bobs!!! I currently have...wait...let me count....3. I had 5, but I broke them...lol...I wear them out 

I do consider myself lucky. Although I was weird about sex. I saved my virginity....just to prove I could. Not for any fancy moral reason. I'm from a family of sexual women...and I didn't want to be associated with that...so when you are a single virgin past the age of 20....you learn REAL QUICK about bobs and how to get yourself off. I actually owe a thanks to a casual bf of mine hella days ago...who introduces me to my clitoris. I had no idea...but once he showed me I was like OMG OMG OMG! I have been very sexually educated ever since, lol.

SORRY FOR THE TMI! Im one of those blunt honest people...I have no tmi screen in my head, lol


----------



## Jes (Jul 3, 2006)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> L M F A O!!!!!!!!! Ya know, I have had friends tell me they think about all sorts of things, like what color to paint their nails at their next manicure, what to have for dinner...etc, lol....Im all about living in the moment.


I'm thinking about small asian boys and farm animals. 

but in a christian and a loving way, you understand.


----------



## exile in thighville (Jul 3, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Hm. Good point. Maybe you're a Swiss marshmallow fish?



and what a thing to be in the sack, am i right, ladies?


----------



## ~angelpassion~ (Jul 3, 2006)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> LOL, I love my bobs!!! I currently have...wait...let me count....3. I had 5, but I broke them...lol...I wear them out
> 
> I do consider myself lucky. Although I was weird about sex. I saved my virginity....just to prove I could. Not for any fancy moral reason. I'm from a family of sexual women...and I didn't want to be associated with that...so when you are a single virgin past the age of 20....you learn REAL QUICK about bobs and how to get yourself off. I actually owe a thanks to a casual bf of mine hella days ago...who introduces me to my clitoris. I had no idea...but once he showed me I was like OMG OMG OMG! I have been very sexually educated ever since, lol.
> 
> SORRY FOR THE TMI! Im one of those blunt honest people...I have no tmi screen in my head, lol



*LOL its ok thank you for your thoughts. *


----------

