# just plain old pretty?



## superodalisque (Oct 1, 2009)

i was wondering if anyone thinks their beauty gets ignored sometimes in deference to fat by FAs? there is always a lot of talk by FAs of cellulite, size, fruity shapes, measurements and weight when it comes to BBWs. is it just me or does there seem to be an aversion to or an avoidance of words like pretty and beautiful more often than not when it comes to BBW traits? why do you think that is if you find that true. why don't you find it true? how does the lack of reference to beauty or the reference to it make you feel? 

there are times when i feel that generally its true that beauty seems not to be talked about much. on the whole i get the feeling that FAs avoid discussing that quite a bit. sometimes it makes me wonder if some really find BBWs beautiful at all. i often wonder if it should be assumed that just because someone is sexually interested by or titilated by something whether that really means they actually find it lovely. and sometimes i seem to feel resistance when i mention that BBWs are beautiful women --with a few guys anyway always reminding that seemingly the entire rest of the world doesn't find us attractive at all.


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## Tau (Oct 1, 2009)

I havent come across this at all. Most of the FA's I've had dealings with have emphasised how they want a pretty face as well as a pretty body, and that it's the entire package that excites them, not just the fat.


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## Tad (Oct 1, 2009)

Im not sure if you wanted just the view of other BBW, or if this is a more open topic? (let me know quickly and I can delete this if you just want BBW input).

I think that part of it is probably what you said, that some FA are so focused on the details that turn them on that they ignore the bigger picture. Classic missing the forest for the trees kind of thing. And in some cases they really dont seem to have any interest in the forest, so it is not so much missing as deliberately ignoring.

Another thought is that while each of us find some people prettier or more beautiful than others, an FA can generally always find individual points to admire on any BBW. In other words, if you tell each person who posts pictures that they are beautiful you make a certain point about your loving of all bodies, but then you lack a word for those people who you find especially stunning. If you save pretty and beautiful for the those whose looks really appeal to you most, then what do you say to the rest? You can at least mention parts that you find hot. Although if you just told one woman that she is absolutely beautiful and then tell the next how hot your think her elbow dimples are it might seem like damning with faint praise? One solution would be to only send some comments by PM, another would be to be careful not to be too effusive in your comments to anyone, and Im sure there are other ways to handle it.


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## Emma (Oct 1, 2009)

I think you have a point. A lot of the people who are paysite models would probably not be considered attractive if they were thin. Yes, a lot are pretty, but a few are ugly, plain or just unattractive. Some are kinda pretty, some are really hot. So I think it's more their fat bodies that attract the men rather than the face.


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 1, 2009)

CurvyEm said:


> I think you have a point. A lot of the people who are paysite models would probably not be considered attractive if they were thin. Yes, a lot are pretty, but a few are ugly, plain or just unattractive. Some are kinda pretty, some are really hot. So I think it's more their fat bodies that attract the men rather than the face.



Em, surely you could have found another way to say the exact same thing? Yikes! <Inserts standard disclaimer that beauty is subjective>.

But, yeah. I don't identify as an FA/FFA but I do know what's visually appealing and hot ... to me. A fat or thin body doesn't, in itself, equate to beauty ... for me. I look at the overall package, and I assume (i.e., could be wrong) that it works this way for most people. I think that some beauty <throws Cold Comfort and Katorade into the arena for examples> is rather objectively obvious to a large group of people and some <fishes for a picture that shows a good side ... any good side > to a rather smaller pool. Not sure if this is what you were getting at, SuperD. But as an aside, I love that you so frequently create such interesting topics for discussion.


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## Emma (Oct 1, 2009)

TraciJo67 said:


> Em, surely you could have found another way to say the exact same thing? Yikes! <Inserts standard disclaimer that beauty is subjective>.




I did, but it was quite hard to put it in any nice way. I'm not naming names or even trying to lead anyone in the direction of any models at all. I tried not to offend but hoped people would see it was relevent to the thread rather than a dig at anyone. I don't think I managed to get my point across though.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Oct 1, 2009)

Maybe this is just me, but I tend to shy away from the words "beautiful" and "pretty" because they get overworked. Also, "pretty" seems IMO to be just a little patronizing ... more applicable to a kitten than a woman, perhaps. And as Tad said, I tend to focus on details rather than the whole picture: "You look really elegant in that dress" rather than "you look nice."


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 1, 2009)

CurvyEm said:


> I did, but it was quite hard to put it in any nice way. I'm not naming names or even trying to lead anyone in the direction of any models at all. I tried not to offend but hoped people would see it was relevent to the thread rather than a dig at anyone. I don't think I managed to get my point across though.



You did, Em. I just had to smack your wrist with a ruler. It's what I do, don'tcha know 

(I am kidding, and I did get your point).


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## Cors (Oct 1, 2009)

The word pretty usually used to describe faces. Some people are just better at detaching one's face or a certain body part from how the person looks as a whole. A person can have your ideal body type, but you may find her face unattractive, or simply less attractive compared to her outstanding body. In such a scenario, naturally the compliment will be directed at her body. As long as such a compliment is given in an appropriate place and in a respectful manner, I don't see it as an issue. 

And well, the whole "cover the face and fuck the base" thing is pretty common with horny males, FA or not. How many guys actually study a girl's face in a porno unless it is full of jizz? Yes, it is not flattering but I don't think the reverse "aw her face is gorgeous, shame about the body" is any better. 

As for guys who constantly feel a need to point out that BBWs are considered unattractive by the rest of the world, well, most of them are the type who think that fat women are desperate and should be grateful for any attention at all. When they get rejected or chastised, they then feel the need to put BBWs down. 

There are also quite a few people that do not like the term BBW. I remember that some people, BBWs included think that the term is too pretentious and that they don't think that all women are beautiful (to them). Some also think that the term is some sort of a consolation prize for fat women since to them, the world doesn't think that fat women are beautiful.


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## Tad (Oct 1, 2009)

Cors said:


> And well, the whole "cover the face and fuck the base" thing is pretty common with horny males, FA or not. How many guys actually study a girl's face in a porno unless it is full of jizz? Not a flattering comment, but I don't think the reverse "aw her face is gorgeous, shame about the body" is any better.



At the risk of slandering my gender, I think this song is more correct than not about guys.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXPzMXN3hAg


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## Mini (Oct 1, 2009)

A pretty girl is a pretty girl regardless of her size. I, personally, can't get excited about a fantastic body if the face is... unpleasant.


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## bigmac (Oct 1, 2009)

superodalisque said:


> i was wondering if anyone thinks their beauty gets ignored sometimes in deference to fat by FAs?



For myself a pretty face is essential. No matter how big and round the booty, breasts, or belly -- if she doesn't have a pretty face I'm not physically attracted. Over the years I've been on several first dates with people I'd never met in person (e.g. internet dates) -- I never worried that they would be fatter or thinner than I expected only that their face look something like their profile photos (or if I'd never seen a photo I hoped that they have a pretty face). My first thought upon meeting my wife in person for the first time was "she looks just like her photo, good!!!" (My second thought, as she turned around to lead me to her office and I saw her backside for the first time, was "wow I guess she really does weigh 400lbs.") Much as I enjoy my wife's body I enjoy her beautiful face more. 

Its also been my experience that not all guys share my point of view. In casual conversation with innumerable guys -- from the locker room to the conference room -- I've heard a substantial minority of men assert that a hot body (most of the time thin) is more important than a pretty face. Interestingly these guys tend to be players.





CurvyEm said:


> I think you have a point. A lot of the people who are paysite models would probably not be considered attractive if they were thin. Yes, a lot are pretty, but a few are ugly, plain or just unattractive. Some are kinda pretty, some are really hot. So I think it's more their fat bodies that attract the men rather than the face.



I'm going to have to agree. While some paysite models are totally hot there are a significant portion that don't do anything for me.


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## Jon Blaze (Oct 1, 2009)

Just a big plus one to Tad, Em, and Traci.


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 1, 2009)

Mini said:


> A pretty girl is a pretty girl regardless of her size. I, personally, can't get excited about a fantastic body if the face is... unpleasant.



... unpleasant.

:::snickering:::


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## Dmitra (Oct 1, 2009)

Pretty is such a weird word to me. It conjures up David Bowie to me, and Pretty Things, pretty boys, androgynous double entendres, and ennui.

I try not to think of the phrase "such a pretty face" as it's been used against me, used against wives by disapproving ex-lovers, used as a preface to the "you really need to lose a few pounds" lecture by both friendlies and strangers, used to the point of meaninglessness.

The one out FA I dated was a bumble bee of love among the fat flowers of womanhood, seemingly always out with a new lady whenever I'd see him afterward (not that that's bad, of course). He was one of those who did say the bit of me not having to worry about thin girls because he liked me just as I was, as if I was going to go weep in the bathroom about losing the one heroic guy on Earth who could sacrifice himself to condescend to fuck fat me. I wish I had been further along on my path to self-acceptance when I knew him so I could know whether I remember things went worse than they had.

A guy once wasted a half hour of my naive time online AOL in '91 asking me all about my body: he was a lover of the fat ladies and I'd just discovered chat rooms. So I gave him my dimensions. Hips were big enough, waist was sounding good to him, boobs on track . . . and we came to his exclamation that if I didn't have a fat face I'd be perfect! I was at a loss for what he meant. I mean, how the hell could I have 60-something inch hips and NOT have any fat on my face? I didn't tell him aye or nay, just thanks and take it easy. So "fat face" somehow got tacked onto "pretty face" in my head in a not-good way. So it was almost like I was at last having someone say to me it was a pity I had a beautiful body but such a fat face! Ye flipping yak dogs . . . .

Still I try to remain open-minded and to not bring along my pretty luggage whenever somebody says pretty with regard to me, other ladies, or whomever. It doesn't matter much to me these days whether people think I'm pretty in the conventional application so long as they think I'm a person they're interested in being around. I like pleasantly featured people as much as anyone but I'm not going to limit myself to them. And I don't buy that men are biologically more visually oriented. That whole thing appears more to be societally ground in as it has been suggested that women _in general /I] have better vision and sight acuity, particularly within close (i.e., intimate) range. 

And here is an interesting little article I found that may or may not be relevant to anything. _


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## Weeze (Oct 2, 2009)

You know... I think what Em said could have been worded differently, but... she had a point. I think that for a lot of guys on here, fat really does outweigh a pretty face, and everyone can deny it all they want but... really. What girl in here can honestly say she's never felt that vibe?

However... I also get nervous around non-Fa's, but whenever I've actually voiced that nervous feeling, I've been told that it doesn't matter, because "a hot girl is a hot girl". 

So.. who knows.


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## ImSoDead (Oct 2, 2009)

superodalisque said:


> i was wondering if anyone thinks their beauty gets ignored sometimes in deference to fat by FAs? there is always a lot of talk by FAs of cellulite, size, fruity shapes, measurements and weight when it comes to BBWs. is it just me or does there seem to be an aversion to or an avoidance of words like pretty and beautiful more often than not when it comes to BBW traits? why do you think that is if you find that true. why don't you find it true? how does the lack of reference to beauty or the reference to it make you feel?
> 
> there are times when i feel that generally its true that beauty seems not to be talked about much. on the whole i get the feeling that FAs avoid discussing that quite a bit. sometimes it makes me wonder if some really find BBWs beautiful at all. i often wonder if it should be assumed that just because someone is sexually interested by or titilated by something whether that really means they actually find it lovely. and sometimes i seem to feel resistance when i mention that BBWs are beautiful women --with a few guys anyway always reminding that seemingly the entire rest of the world doesn't find us attractive at all.



Well I for one think your avatar doesn't do your pretty smile justice.


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## Jes (Oct 2, 2009)

superodalisque said:


> fruity shapes.



This made me laugh out loud and not too many things do.

I think this is a great point that articulates something I may have thought myself, but never fully fleshed out.

Many of the compliments I've seen given here are about the hugeness of someone. The amazing droop of a belly. The significant sway of a fat waddle. It's all about superlatives in terms of size, gait, sometimes ill health. And so the terminology is different. It's more like: it's so huge:. period. Freakish. Bovine. Like an animal. When I see women with curly tails and pig snouts here, it's hard not to make the connection. So I hear what you're saying.

A few weeks ago, a good friend said to me: I'm no different than any other pretty girl, I just weigh more!

I think she was tapping into the same thing on which you're commenting, here. The terminology is different and I suspect that it's intentional at times and from certain people. Dims does, at times, hold up the gigantic and perhaps even the grotesque* (in the sense of spectacle, I'm not calling anyone gross) which can be extrapolated to monstrous. Those aren't qualities usually associated with 'pretty.' Pretty usually indicates symmetry, etc. What I see here is a lot of discussion of spilling out of the symmetrical, for lack of a better phrase.


*The word grotesque thus comes to be applied in a more general fashion during the Age of Reason and of Neo-Classicism--when the characteristics of the grotesque style of art—extravagance, fantasy, individual taste, and the rejection of the natural conditions of organization' are the object of ridicule and disapproval. The most general sense which it has developed by the early eighteenth century is therefore that of "ridiculous, distorted, unnatural' (adj.); 'an absurdity, a distortion of nature' (noun). (p. 6)
from Arthur Clayborough's book The Grotesque in English Literature (1965)


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## Ruffie (Oct 2, 2009)

Having not encountered alot of FA's face to face in my life I can honestly say that this has not been a problem for me. I have however had difficulties believing that someone really means it when they say I they find me attractive because of all the negativity I have faced throughout my life because of my weight. However encountering the few FA's I did and the guy friends I have had over the years that told me I was good looking and REALLY meant it stated to change that within me. 
I have a really good male friend that helped me in this way but challenging me each and every time I was self depreciating, even if it was in humour or not intentional. Complimenting me on how I dressed, wore my hair, carried myself and who he saw when he looked at me. This was done so with no agenda for he was married and so his comments were pure and real without expecting something from me. He gave me a sense of how other people saw me and how I shut out that attention because of my own lack of confidence that other guy friends had identified before, but weren't able to get to the root of with me. I have another good male friend who is also married and an FA. He also has complimented me, had discussions with me about women and body image and helped me see what is is that a FA finds attractive about their women. His wife is also a good friend of mine and so I see how her insecurities about her body and self effect him and how sometimes its nard for a man to fully assist his SO as the issues are ones the woman needs to work on herself.

Now when someone says I am pretty I simply say thank you because that is their view of me. If I encounter a FA online that says I would be prettier if XYand Z I say well hey a pot for every lid. My husband, and others I love see me and love me just as I am and that is good enough for me. Not going to let some stranger, family member, chatter, poster or co worker tell me how I should look. I define me1


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## LillyBBBW (Oct 2, 2009)

I've been wanting to make this post for a while but could not find a way to communicate it properly. Here goes. I think in general models within the adult industry -- ALL of them -- have appearances that are not typical or average. I'm not talking about beauty per se, I'm talking about the bodies of the models themselves being extreme in some way. Even most of the models within main stream adult entertainment themselves aren't naturally occuring. They work out, have hair ripped out of their bodies, get implants and surgery and all sorts of other things to get the kind of looks that will stoke fantasies. This is the way fantasies work, they are stoked by the extreme. Hige tits, high heels, lots of makeup, blatantly sexual attitude and desires on display. Yet in real life nobody really wants that. All these fantasy women have horrible, terrible relationships. Most normal guys wouldn't dream of dating them or bringing them home to mom and it has little to do with the impression they might make. I'm theorizing that nobody really wants to be with a woman like that. Adult entertainers are viable in fantasy only. These women seem to only meet stupid apes who treat them like shit and expect them to be the impeccable and doclile woman in the glossy photo. They are eagerly pursued by the kind of men who can't discern the difference between fantasy and reality. Even the paysite models here whose bodies are naturally occuring. Very few of us are in good relationships or being sought out for anything other than a jolly good time. We're sitting at home alone on a Friday night. It's not because we're loose, vacant, unintelligent beings. I think it just boils down to the fact that fantasy is not supposed to be realistic. People don't actually want to live with their fantasy, they want their sweet pretty girl named Jen and a little mind candy every now and then in the form of the adult entertainment industry. I see some utterly pretty girls on the paysite board and they barely get any hits and then Hurricane Henrietta's Hip Spectacular Facesitting thing goes up and the site nearly crashes with people going to see. Fantasy people. A trip from reality. And the blokes who can't tell the difference are often left astonished and angry when they find that the object of their fantasy is imperfect in real life.

That being said, this is why I surmise that the lauguage used when talking about fantasies would not include words like "pretty" and "sensible shoes." Words like "Massive, Huge, Asstastic" and other adjectives can be found in almost every form of porn or fantasy. Sure the plain jane has her niche too but in fantasy as we know it, silicone and the freak show rules.


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## Crystal (Oct 2, 2009)

I think CurvyEm and Kris are both exactly right. Several women, both on the paysite board and not, get attention merely because of their body type. They have huge [insert body part] here and are oodled for that, rather than a pretty face. As CurvyEm rather blatantly, but truthfully, put it...some of these girls (including paysite girls AND others) are not even pretty, but get attention because of the fantasy (as Lilly also said).

These women who may not even be attractive are being hailed as a BBW Cleopatra, when in actuality, some aren't even that "beautiful" or "pretty." It's the fantasy that brings people in.


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 2, 2009)

CrystalUT11 said:


> I think CurvyEm and Kris are both exactly right. Several women, both on the paysite board and not, get attention merely because of their body type. They have huge [insert body part] here and are oodled for that, rather than a pretty face. As CurvyEm rather blatantly, but truthfully, put it...some of these girls (including paysite girls AND others) are not even pretty, but get attention because of the fantasy (as Lilly also said).
> 
> These women who may not even be attractive are being hailed as a BBW Cleopatra, when in actuality, some aren't even that "beautiful" or "pretty." It's the fantasy that brings people in.



Well, you don't think they're pretty. I might not think that they're pretty. But clearly, there are more than a few out there who not only think that they're pretty ... they pay for the privilege of looking at 'em nekkid. Seriously ... I'm not trying to split hairs or anything, as I do understand what you were saying but trite as it may be, I do think that the measure for beauty is very subjective. My husband thinks that I'm an absolute hottie. I catch him giving me "that look" at times when I'm doing something really, really sexy (like picking my underwear out of my butt or rubbing the sleep crust from my eyes). By many objective standards, I'm ... pleasant <laughing>. And I'm not fishing here, just stating my truth. I'm thrilled that my hubby thinks that I'm beautiful. His approval is all that matters to me. Thank God that I didn't have to go the rohypnol route with him. Coz I would have


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## superodalisque (Oct 2, 2009)

Tad said:


> Im not sure if you wanted just the view of other BBW, or if this is a more open topic? (let me know quickly and I can delete this if you just want BBW input).
> 
> I think that part of it is probably what you said, that some FA are so focused on the details that turn them on that they ignore the bigger picture. Classic missing the forest for the trees kind of thing. And in some cases they really dont seem to have any interest in the forest, so it is not so much missing as deliberately ignoring.
> 
> Another thought is that while each of us find some people prettier or more beautiful than others, an FA can generally always find individual points to admire on any BBW. In other words, if you tell each person who posts pictures that they are beautiful you make a certain point about your loving of all bodies, but then you lack a word for those people who you find especially stunning. If you save pretty and beautiful for the those whose looks really appeal to you most, then what do you say to the rest? You can at least mention parts that you find hot. Although if you just told one woman that she is absolutely beautiful and then tell the next how hot your think her elbow dimples are it might seem like damning with faint praise? One solution would be to only send some comments by PM, another would be to be careful not to be too effusive in your comments to anyone, and Im sure there are other ways to handle it.



everyone is welcomed


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## superodalisque (Oct 2, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> I've been wanting to make this post for a while but could not find a way to communicate it properly. Here goes. I think in general models within the adult industry -- ALL of them -- have appearances that are not typical or average. I'm not talking about beauty per se, I'm talking about the bodies of the models themselves being extreme in some way. Even most of the models within main stream adult entertainment themselves aren't naturally occuring. They work out, have hair ripped out of their bodies, get implants and surgery and all sorts of other things to get the kind of looks that will stoke fantasies. This is the way fantasies work, they are stoked by the extreme. Hige tits, high heels, lots of makeup, blatantly sexual attitude and desires on display. Yet in real life nobody really wants that. All these fantasy women have horrible, terrible relationships. Most normal guys wouldn't dream of dating them or bringing them home to mom and it has little to do with the impression they might make. I'm theorizing that nobody really wants to be with a woman like that. Adult entertainers are viable in fantasy only. These women seem to only meet stupid apes who treat them like shit and expect them to be the impeccable and doclile woman in the glossy photo. They are eagerly pursued by the kind of men who can't discern the difference between fantasy and reality. Even the paysite models here whose bodies are naturally occuring. Very few of us are in good relationships or being sought out for anything other than a jolly good time. We're sitting at home alone on a Friday night. It's not because we're loose, vacant, unintelligent beings. I think it just boils down to the fact that fantasy is not supposed to be realistic. People don't actually want to live with their fantasy, they want their sweet pretty girl named Jen and a little mind candy every now and then in the form of the adult entertainment industry. I see some utterly pretty girls on the paysite board and they barely get any hits and then Hurricane Henrietta's Hip Spectacular Facesitting thing goes up and the site nearly crashes with people going to see. Fantasy people. A trip from reality. And the blokes who can't tell the difference are often left astonished and angry when they find that the object of their fantasy is imperfect in real life.
> 
> That being said, this is why I surmise that the lauguage used when talking about fantasies would not include words like "pretty" and "sensible shoes." Words like "Massive, Huge, Asstastic" and other adjectives can be found in almost every form of porn or fantasy. Sure the plain jane has her niche too but in fantasy as we know it, silicone and the freak show rules.



thankfully thats not true for all paysite models but it happens all too much i think. it fries my butt thinking about all of the great beautiful and intelligent women and how they get treated sometimes. especially since in a lot of ways not only are they there for FAs but are the conduit to a lot of BBWs finally finding themselves to be beautiful and attractive. not to mention all of the helpful hints they give about where to find things that fit and how to take care of our bodies . but thats another story.


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## superodalisque (Oct 2, 2009)

ImSoDead said:


> Well I for one think your avatar doesn't do your pretty smile justice.



thank you fo such a nice compliment


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## LillyBBBW (Oct 2, 2009)

Just so we're clear, I'm not on the bandwagon with folks who are making demeaning remarks about a woman's looks on the paysite board. My only point was that in fantasy the emphasis is placed elsewhere.


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## bdog (Oct 2, 2009)

CurvyEm said:


> I think you have a point. A lot of the people who are paysite models would probably not be considered attractive if they were thin. Yes, a lot are pretty, but a few are ugly, plain or just unattractive. Some are kinda pretty, some are really hot. So I think it's more their fat bodies that attract the men rather than the face.



You're mistaken. Everyone is beautiful and special. 

You bring up an interesting point, though, which is that in Men's magazines like Maxim, Playboy, etc... well, a guy never really needs to choose between hot body OR beautiful face. 



krismiss said:


> You know... I think what Em said could have been worded differently, but... she had a point. I think that for a lot of guys on here, fat really does outweigh a pretty face, and everyone can deny it all they want but... really. What girl in here can honestly say she's never felt that vibe?
> 
> However... I also get nervous around non-Fa's, but whenever I've actually voiced that nervous feeling, I've been told that it doesn't matter, because "a hot girl is a hot girl".
> 
> So.. who knows.



If I want to wank I might focus on body parts, and I might ignore a face that isn't the most beautiful in the world. But if I want to wake up next to someone and be happy... I like a beautiful face. If I'm taking a girl to dinner I like to look at a beautiful face. 

Life isn't so simple, though, and there's very few people that are going to be a '10' in intelligence, looks, body, and soul. But maybe if we love someone enough they'll eventually become that. Or maybe if we love someone enough we don't mind that they're not that. Or maybe if we love someone enough we don't mind that we mind that they're not that. Or maybe we just go on struggling to find that perfect person until we look back and regret what could have been. 

My own track record shows me favoring really pretty girls over really big girls, but then again I'm 32 and never been married.


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## luv4biggurls (Oct 4, 2009)

To see beauty where popular society doesn't or to be smitten by it when no on aelse around you is. I offen feel out of touch with most men because I don't find what the majority like as lovely or arousing. I love what I love and I see the beauty in ever bbbw or ssbbbw or biggurls ....I can remember when I was young I use to hang outside of Lane Bryants to see the beautiful women.....lol Great topic Super as usual


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## superodalisque (Oct 4, 2009)

luv4biggurls said:


> To see beauty where popular society doesn't or to be smitten by it when no on aelse around you is. I often feel out of touch with most men because I don't find what the majority like as lovely or arousing. I love what I love and I see the beauty in ever bbbw or ssbbbw or biggurls ....I can remember when I was young I use to hang outside of Lane Bryants to see the beautiful women.....lol Great topic Super as usual



thank you for your comment. no disrespect to you but thats exactly what i'm talking about in a way. you say " I often feel out of touch with most men because I don't find what the majority like as lovely or arousing." i think a lot of FAs buy into that idea. open your eyes. look around. who are a lot of men married to, in love with, and having plenty of sex on a daily basis with? one big reason BBWs and SSBBWs (even though they are the majority of the population) are difficult to find is because they are married i relationships and living thier lives. even though some have problem marriages like everyone else their SOs love them as much as thin women are loved .

i personally feel that even though some men are not originally FAs they become like FAs and appreciate a woman for what she is cellulite and all. i have expereinced that and not the distaste that a lot of people will assume would come my way. there is a lot of sexual curiousity about women who are fat simply because in general our bodies have not been seen very much, until recently, in a sexual way. now the BBW porn interest is at number 3 in the industry. all of those people are not what dimsfolk might think of as FAs. but its clearly evident by where they spend thier time and money that they don't find women who are fat disgusting. 

i've met a lot of men who never thought they'd be with a woman who was fat. not because they thought they were actually unattractive but because media said women who were fat were undesireable. but as they had experiences they found that they liked it and that women who were fat were beautiful overall--not just thier faces but thier bodies as well. there are even men here who were not "born" FAs but discovered something during thier journey through experiencing life. i think a lot of men are kind of talked down if they say that a woman who is fat is attractive. a lot would rather just keep thier personal interests out of the public arena since they feel thier sex life is no one's business but thiers. i get a feeling that a lot of people who lurk here and only look at the paysites are not the trolls people necessarily think they are. i have the idea that there might just be a lot of guys who have a significant other who lacks that kind of body confidence because they believe the media. they probably just come to look at someone who reminds them of the beautiful woman they love who is ashamed to show herself. but they won't contact anyone because they never have any intention of cheating on her. they put this place where it belongs. its just a bit of private fantasy for them and thats all.

i think it might be a mistake to take what the media says or to take bar talk too seriously. a lot of men say what they think they are expected to say among other men but thier heart/practice is different. as far as i can see statistics don't bear you or the media out. i wonder if good hard numbers could convince anyone? i'm not sure. sometimes besides fetish there is also a kind of fantastical romance attached to fat admiration. "no one wants her but me" i am the only man who will have her" i will save her from hating herself with my admiration". i'm not sure its a good idea to keep that fantasy going unless you realize its just a fantasy. its a nice thought in a way but there is an underlying assumption that someone is undesireable when they really aren't. as someone said on the thread " a hot girl is a hot girl". beautiful women get noticed wherever they go by all men. in fact if she looks at it that way, being a gorgeous BBW may even make you more attractive because there is more to be attracted to. i know you meant your comment in a good spirited way but i think you really need to think about what you might be saying about women you find beautiful and even yourself. you might want to think about whether your not more attracted to the idea seeming odd, different and maybe kinky than you are to the actual woman who happens to be a BBW.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 14, 2009)

Just have another simple answer garnered from my own experience as a fat woman. 
No. 
Men that approach me through some means usually tell me I'm pretty, beautiful, lovely, etc. Seeing how I am far from thin, even if they don't identify themselves as "FA", they have to meet some of the criteria to be after a woman that is over 250 lbs. 

The only parallel I can make here is it's like the objectification topic. If a guy spends all his time staring at my chest or asking for nude pictures/cam times, I tend to get annoyed and ixnay him off my list quickly. 
He better find something better to say and a better approach or I just start feeling like fap material/body parts. 

Why would a woman entertain time with a potential suitor that doesn't tell her she is pretty? Or at least say something positive about what he is attracted to. A guy that just immediately starts talking about fat, body parts, etc is just talking about his best friend aka his penis. He's not interested in you as a person. If you are interested in something besides just his peen, then he might not be the best person to spend your time talking to. He's communicated loud and clear what he is after.....it's your call to accept or deny his "offer". 

I'm spinning this around in the wash cycle of my brain and think that, once again, it's not FA centric. Any man (or woman) can treat you that way....irregardless of preference.

I'm fearing I oversimplified maybe? Did I misread the question? I just don't perceive FAs as really being any different than other men. They just have a different preference from what is considered "usual".


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## Tania (Oct 15, 2009)

I don't think prurient objectification and perceived beauty are mutually exclusive. Even when there is separation, I don't it's necessarily a fetish thing or an FA thing to fap over parts, as GEF mentioned. 

I don't think anyone who's been into my body hasn't been into my face, too. If anything, I always felt that my body was more of a liability than my face was, being covered with stretch marks or having deformed breasts or having a messed up midriff blob or what have you. Although, this is beginning to change now that I have massive eyebags and the allergies are starting to make my eyes swell and line like crazy. I'm also NOT fond of my neck/jawline. Seems like I absolutely canNOT take an acceptable face photo anymore.


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## msbard90 (Oct 15, 2009)

CurvyEm said:


> I think you have a point. A lot of the people who are paysite models would probably not be considered attractive if they were thin. Yes, a lot are pretty, but a few are ugly, plain or just unattractive. Some are kinda pretty, some are really hot. So I think it's more their fat bodies that attract the men rather than the face.



I second that.... and its really unfortunate, though. It should be more than just the rolls, more than just the fat that makes them want to wack their stuff.


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## Tracyarts (Oct 15, 2009)

" I think you have a point. A lot of the people who are paysite models would probably not be considered attractive if they were thin. Yes, a lot are pretty, but a few are ugly, plain or just unattractive. Some are kinda pretty, some are really hot. So I think it's more their fat bodies that attract the men rather than the face. "

The "butterface" syndrome is not limited by body type and size. 

Tracy


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## GTAFA (Oct 15, 2009)

Tracyarts said:


> " I think you have a point. A lot of the people who are paysite models would probably not be considered attractive if they were thin. Yes, a lot are pretty, but a few are ugly, plain or just unattractive. Some are kinda pretty, some are really hot. So I think it's more their fat bodies that attract the men rather than the face. "
> 
> The "butterface" syndrome is not limited by body type and size.
> 
> Tracy



I dunno. There are women I find absolutely stunning who seem to be ignored by many, and others who strut around as though they're irresistible (note these are always thin), and i don't get the attraction. Is there a universal set of criteria for beauty? i don't know. I think it's possible that some people might cross different boundaries of taste --like musical crossover, perhaps, appealing to fans from all over--while there are some who are only appealing to a narrow group. The symmetrical, hourglass shaped girl with big eyes and big lips might appeal to people from more races, because she resembles the beauty ideal in several places, whereas a girl with a nice smile but thin lips and small recessed eyes won't be quite so universally adored. 

There may also be a supply-demand thing at work here. Sometimes one can go for awhile in my town at least without seeing a ssbbw, and it feels to me as though one of the colours of the natural spectrum had been missing. When she appears, it's the same feeling on a sunny day when POW you suddenly have YELLOW mixing in with the other colours, warming you in a different way than when everything was cloudy, and gray/ blue. Does our perception of beauty perhaps change when we're missing something? i know that there are times of year i crave certain flavours, and then when i have had corn or apples available for weeks on end i am more blase, than when i am missing that flavour. So in other words, maybe our taste isn't consistent but changes at different times.

Isn't it wonderful how different we all are?


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## OIFMountaineer (Oct 16, 2009)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> Maybe this is just me, but I tend to shy away from the words "beautiful" and "pretty" because they get overworked. Also, "pretty" seems IMO to be just a little patronizing ... more applicable to a kitten than a woman, perhaps. And as Tad said, I tend to focus on details rather than the whole picture: "You look really elegant in that dress" rather than "you look nice."



If I had rep, I would give it to ya, because this is EXACTLY what I have been saying. "Beautiful", "pretty", and "sexy" get used so much, that they have lost their meaning.

For me, it all begins with the face. No face, no interest, regardless of how the rest of her body is put together. Specifically, it's the eyes. Pull me in with those tractor beams, and I'm hooked. After that, then I decide whether or not I'm gaga over your body. The ones who have both? Well, they are the ones that make me grin at the mere thought of them.


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## BBW4Chattery (Oct 17, 2009)

Tania said:


> I don't think prurient objectification and perceived beauty are mutually exclusive. Even when there is separation, I don't it's necessarily a fetish thing or an FA thing to fap over parts, as GEF mentioned.
> 
> I don't think anyone who's been into my body hasn't been into my face, too. If anything, I always felt that my body was more of a liability than my face was, being covered with stretch marks or having deformed breasts or having a messed up midriff blob or what have you. Although, this is beginning to change now that I have massive eyebags and the allergies are starting to make my eyes swell and line like crazy. I'm also NOT fond of my neck/jawline. Seems like I absolutely canNOT take an acceptable face photo anymore.



TWINS! I totally am in full-on commiseration with you in this moment.

I never considered myself a vain person but honestly, at my core, I totally am... my changing appearance scares me. I've always valued my face and my hair as the two bonus prizes Jesus gave me to even out the whole fat-lupus thing. Now, they are slip, slip, slipping too and I literally get panicked when I notice a new flaw.

I gotta get a hobby or something.


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## Tania (Oct 17, 2009)

I freely admit that I am completely vain and totally narcissistic. LOL.


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## MizzSnakeBite (Oct 18, 2009)

Tania said:


> I freely admit that I am completely vain and totally narcissistic. LOL.



rofl

When I turned 30 it totally sucked.........and when I recently turned 32 it sucked like a baby elephant. Changes in my skin, I think I saw a wrinkle  (fucker), blah, blah, blah. I'm totally with you Tania. 

All these body changes show and tell me that one day I WILL keel over and die. lol While in college and in my 20s, those thoughts didn't enter my head.  Oh how times change.


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## Tania (Oct 19, 2009)

Never say die, girls! NEVER SAY DIE!

I'm still pretty. That's mah story and I'm stickin' to it. ;D


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