# FFA's & BHM I need your help! Please read and respond.



## Actor4hire (Jul 20, 2010)

Hey guys and gals, I am currently developing a short film based upon FFA's & the BHM they love. My hope is to write/produce the short in hopes of getting it made into a feature length film. So here is what I need...

FFA's, I need any and all info you can write about your experience of being a FFA. What age were you when you first realized your preference, did you hide it from your friend's/family, are you still hiding it, who was the first BHM that caught your eye, what is it about BHM that you like, etc. 

BHM, have you ever had an experience with a FFA, how did it make you feel the first time you found out somebody liked you for your size, do you believe FFA's are really just a myth (no offense to the FFA's on this board), how do you feel about your size in general when it comes to meeting/dating women? 

Please know I am not some pervert who is looking to collect stories for my own personal collection. I have been a Dims member for a very long time. My hope is to really show the truth that some people (in this case women) are hard wired to be attracted to large men regardless of the social pressures that are placed on people to be attracted to thin, model type looking men. 

I know the story has been played out over and over for men who are attracted to BBW, but the story of FFA's who love BHM is one that is rarely told. 

This would be a scripted short film. I will not be taking anybody's story and using it word for word. I would just like some info for research/development of my characters.

I am an actor here in Los Angeles. You can check out my IMDB profile and see that I am legit. If you don't feel comfortable writing your experience on this board, send me an email to my inbox on Dims. All info shared is 100% confidential. 

Thanks in advance. 

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1662118/


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## Actor4hire (Jul 21, 2010)

Wow, 38 views and not one reply... Guess I am on my own on this one! :doh:


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## taobear (Jul 21, 2010)

Ever see the movie "Heavy" ?


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## Bearsy (Jul 21, 2010)

I've never had an experience with an FFA and until now I've never believed there was such a thing as an FFA. I still have a hard time believing it sometimes.


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## escapist (Jul 21, 2010)

lol just search some of mine and chicken leg's post. We talk all the time about this stuff.


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## Actor4hire (Jul 21, 2010)

escapist said:


> lol just search some of mine and chicken leg's post. We talk all the time about this stuff.



Yeah, I thought about just doing that to begin with, but I wanted to get a group full of responses.


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## Actor4hire (Jul 21, 2010)

Bearsy said:


> I've never had an experience with an FFA and until now I've never believed there was such a thing as an FFA. I still have a hard time believing it sometimes.



Bearsy, thanks for the the reply. I think that is the belief of most BHM. It is still very rare even on this board to hear of FFA/BHM relationships.

Chicken Legs & Escapist are not the norm from what I have read on this board. I think it is great that they have found each other, but I see a lot of BHM on the boards still looking with very little success.

I really want to hear from the thin FFA. To me when two fat people find each other attractive, that is considered normal by society. Like, just because they are both fat, they should be attracted to other fat people. Again, I think there are societies beliefs, not mine. 

Dims is filled with skinny guys who like BBW's, but very few skinny women who like BHM.


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## Actor4hire (Jul 21, 2010)

taobear said:


> Ever see the movie "Heavy" ?



No I haven't. I will have to check it out. Thanks for the heads up.


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## taobear (Jul 21, 2010)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113280/

This is a link to the IMD


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## Melian (Jul 21, 2010)

Actor4hire said:


> I really want to hear from the thin FFA. To me when two fat people find each other attractive, that is considered normal by society. Like, just because they are both fat, they should be attracted to other fat people. Again, I think there are societies beliefs, not mine.
> 
> Dims is filled with skinny guys who like BBW's, but very few skinny women who like BHM.



Hey, I would leave you a repsonse, but I never get more than about 5min online at a time (I'm only around here during the day, killing time at work), so there hasn't been a chance yet. Maybe later


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## Actor4hire (Jul 21, 2010)

Melian said:


> Hey, I would leave you a repsonse, but I never get more than about 5min online at a time (I'm only around here during the day, killing time at work), so there hasn't been a chance yet. Maybe later



Sounds good! Whenever you get a chance. Thanks!


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## Actor4hire (Jul 21, 2010)

taobear said:


> http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113280/
> 
> This is a link to the IMD



COOL! Is she an FFA in the movie or does she just fall for him?


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## MasterShake (Jul 21, 2010)

Holy crap, you were one of the bounty hunters in last year's Sons of Anarchy??!!! :bow:

As for Heavy, I seem to recall it being more about him secretly pining for her and her being appreciative of how nice he treats her compared to her boyfriend, but not really into him. But then it's been years since I've seen that film. Great film from what I do remember of it.


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## Amandy (Jul 21, 2010)

I was going to just PM this, but I figured that I'm fascinated by what other FFAs might say. So in the spirit of give-and-take, I'll put on a pair and post it. 

First, I think there's as many thin FFAs as BBW FFA (both on Dims and in life), especially considering Dimensions isn't exactly a haven for thin women. I started coming here several years ago, probably before they had an age rule, which was good, because I was in junior high. The FFA presence always seemed to be a cross section of sizes and not just BBW. Even my FFA friends (met online) are majority thin-ish (and not by design, I love being around fat women).

I don't have the "light bulb went on when" experience with my preference. I was intrigued by fat/weight as far back as I can remember and it became more sexual for me as I became more sexual. "They" say women enjoy sex more as they mature and that has def applied to me - and along with that trend my taste for bigger has increased (gradually but undoubtedly). I have never been able to have an orgasm with a smaller man and I can get there easily with a big guy - my preference is absolute that way.

I've never felt the need to hide my general preference from anyone friends/family-wise. I'm pretty confident and don't mind comments or teasing because being very out about it is generally disarming. Like what are they going to do? Not be my friend anymore? Write me out of the will? It's never gone there. And I kind of like being different.

BUT, I hate the fallout with the guys themselves. This for me is the only downside of being an FFA. From flirting through sex through trust, when a fat guy has a poor body image, it usually makes so many aspects of the relationship that much more of a struggle. My heart aches for the ways in which men I've wanted have been unable to fully enjoy my affection because they just could not make the the leap.

What I like about BHM... I think of my preference as having a good angel on one shoulder and a bad devil on the other. The good angel likes his big size, strength, softness, cuddliness. BHMs have (stereotype, get over it) better personalities; more thoughtful, insightful. I know I shouldn't ascribe personality traits to size, but it's always held true for me.

The devil on my other shoulder is more the fetishist that loves that hanging belly, the moobs, the rubbing thighs, jiggle, shake and waddle. This is the side that likes the gluttony stuff. Dom/sub fantasy comes in here strong for me too, but sadly I've never been with a guy who wanted to peel back those dirty little layers with me. This is the side my BHM partners have not been overly fond of, so it's the part I tend to keep on the DL.

I typed fast, so grammar police can suck it.


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## djudex (Jul 21, 2010)

Amandy said:


> The devil on my other shoulder is more the fetishist that loves that hanging belly, the moobs, the rubbing thighs, jiggle, shake and waddle. This is the side that likes the gluttony stuff. Dom/sub fantasy comes in here strong for me too, but sadly I've never been with a guy who wanted to peel back those dirty little layers with me. This is the side my BHM partners have not been overly fond of, so it's the part I tend to keep on the DL.



I'd put a play-time collar on you :batting:


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## Actor4hire (Jul 22, 2010)

Amandy said:


> I was going to just PM this, but I figured that I'm fascinated by what other FFAs might say. So in the spirit of give-and-take, I'll put on a pair and post it.
> 
> First, I think there's as many thin FFAs as BBW FFA (both on Dims and in life), especially considering Dimensions isn't exactly a haven for thin women. I started coming here several years ago, probably before they had an age rule, which was good, because I was in junior high. The FFA presence always seemed to be a cross section of sizes and not just BBW. Even my FFA friends (met online) are majority thin-ish (and not by design, I love being around fat women).
> 
> ...



WOW!! Thank you so much for your input. Can I ask you are you thin or a BBW. Your story is very insightful. You write that most of the big guys you have been with can't handle the fetish side of the FFA attraction. Sounds like you are saying they just can't get a handle on the fact that somebody would find their body sexually appealing.

Can I ask if you have ever met up with any of the big guys on this board? It seems like the BHM on the FFA/BHM board would be into that sort of attention. I can see how a large guy who has no idea that there are women out there who love "hanging bellies" would possibly be scared of the situation. 

Thank you again for your post. This is the kind of info I really need to develope the characters/relationships in this script. 

A little background on me. I was 400 pounds at age 15. I lost 170 pounds between the age of 15 to 21. I now sit at around 270 lbs. I would have never thought as a young adult that somebody would ever have been interested in me when I was that heavy unless they were heavy as well.

I have noticed more and more that I see skinny women with larger guys. 
Part of me thinks it is the sign of the times that we as American's are a fat nation thus making it more likely that some people don't mind a large guy. I also think that women are realizing that the skinny/buff guy who is the jock type can tend to treat their women like shit. I do think us big guys are softer on the inside as well as outside. 

What I would really like to tackle in this movie is the fetish/attraction of a thin women to a fat guy and the dilemma of admitting this to friends and family.

I think for some people it would be easier in some cases to come out of the closet as being gay then admit they find a 400+ pound man/women hot. We as a society are so fucked in the head. Obesity is one of the last accepted forms of prejudice. 

Anyways, getting off of my soapbox. Hope I didn't offend anybody with my beliefs.


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## Actor4hire (Jul 22, 2010)

MasterShake said:


> Holy crap, you were one of the bounty hunters in last year's Sons of Anarchy??!!! :bow:
> 
> As for Heavy, I seem to recall it being more about him secretly pining for her and her being appreciative of how nice he treats her compared to her boyfriend, but not really into him. But then it's been years since I've seen that film. Great film from what I do remember of it.



Thanks for the info on Heavy. I am going to try and find it on the internet and watch it. 

Yeah, I was the main boutny hunter who snags Tig, on SOA. Love that show!


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## Lavasse (Jul 22, 2010)

You know whats bad I look at his credits and what stands out to me

iCarly 

:doh: I have to stop watching tv with my little cousins


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## Actor4hire (Jul 22, 2010)

Lavasse said:


> You know whats bad I look at his credits and what stands out to me
> 
> iCarly
> 
> :doh: I have to stop watching tv with my little cousins




Lavasse, you are a big guy. I would love to hear your opinion on this topic. Have you ever had a thin woman come on to you? How would you feel if a woman wanted you for your body? 

Come on dude, let's hear it!


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## Lavasse (Jul 22, 2010)

Hell I'd be happy if a woman wanted me for anything lol. When I was in college there was one woman, I guess now the appropriate term would be Cougar wanted to have sex with me just because she had never been with a big guy. Bless that woman 

As far as in more normal situations. I'm always the guy thats seen as a friend first, and a man second. I have tried to get over this by telling one girl that I found out likes bigger guys, I was blatantly interested in her and I proceeded to get shot down immediately. Although now she is trying to help me get a job with the company she works for and has offered me a room to rent. So I don't know what her motives are. If I don't come back for awhile send a search party to Wisconsin with my picture.

I have another girl who I talk to who is in a relationship with a man she loves tell me if I would have just asked her in high school to go out she would have been all over me like a fat kid on cake, pardon the bad joke. I'm not sure if she is a closet FFA or just likes me in general.

I've had odd drunk women come up to me and bars and ask to touch my belly. Unlike Escapist I always forget to say something smart and witty, instead I just look at them smile and go OK, cause I know it will be the most a woman touches me for awhile.

I can find women online who like me, but they always live far away. I can find one night stands who will sleep with me. But it seems like I can't find a girl to go on a date with me.

Do I believe FFA's exist: yes
Do I believe I will date one: no probbaly not

Oh and speaking of the gay community I have actually been hit on by more chubby chasers then I'd like to admit lol. At least someone thinks I'm hot 

I hope that helps.


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## Actor4hire (Jul 22, 2010)

Lavasse said:


> Hell I'd be happy if a woman wanted me for anything lol. When I was in college there was one woman, I guess now the appropriate term would be Cougar wanted to have sex with me just because she had never been with a big guy. Bless that woman
> 
> As far as in more normal situations. I'm always the guy thats seen as a friend first, and a man second. I have tried to get over this by telling one girl that I found out likes bigger guys, I was blatantly interested in her and I proceeded to get shot down immediately. Although now she is trying to help me get a job with the company she works for and has offered me a room to rent. So I don't know what her motives are. If I don't come back for awhile send a search party to Wisconsin with my picture.
> 
> ...



Yeah man, that was honest and awesome. Thank you very much for sounding off. Keep on the look out bro! There is a women out there waiting to meet a guy like you. :bow:


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## Melian (Jul 22, 2010)

Ok....where to start? 

My situation is probably different from most FFAs, because for the most part I am asexual. It’s not that I don’t want love, attention, physical contact, etc, just that I’m not interested in intercourse - I’ll do it, but it’s purely for the other person’s benefit. So as a result of this issue, my drives and goals are different, eg. when I “want” someone, all I really want is to be with that person, not necessarily to fuck him/her (I am also bisexual, which further complicates things). All this crap may or may not be relevant to my experiences.

/disclaimer

I’ve always been a very thin (5’9”, ~100 lbs), very cynical, weird woman. It would be easy to write off my attraction to fat men as, “she hates the stereotypical hot man image,” and although I think that is definitely a contributing factor, it’s not nearly the whole story. On this site, I’ve participated in some of those “what qualities do you want in a man” threads &#8211; a long list always results, and everyone thinks I’m way too picky  It’s true that I desire a very specific type of man, and being fat is an important part of the package, however, it is not the be-all and end-all. I don’t lust after fat men so much that every fat old guy on the street, dirty fat crackhead at work or even rich, fat business guy turns my head &#8211; so maybe I should just say that “not being thin” is one of my criteria, since it’s more like thinness turns me off vs. fatness turning me on. Ah....I knew this post would get totally convoluted and weird, and it has already! Oh well, hope you’re still reading!

It took a while for me to grasp that I preferred fat guys, mainly because it was so hard to understand my sexuality, in general. When I first started showing physical interest it was towards males and females of various body types. Now, it really seems that it was a common personality type that linked all these people, but I couldn’t really pick it out at the time. Anyway, by about grade 9 I had lost all attraction to thin men and would fantasize about being with fat guys; kissing them, groping them, looking at all the features of their bodies. Of course, the fantasy guys would be guys who I had seen, but did not know, and the personalities I imagined were likely not (or later proved not to be) the way they were in real life. I wanted guys who enjoyed being fat, wanted to be worshipped, showed playful dominance, who could indulge me in my fantasies and, in return, I would satisfy any of theirs. As it turns out, the guy who is both my physical and mental ideal does not exist &#8211; I accepted this fact in about second year undergrad (6 years ago), and just focused on meeting someone who was as close as possible. After a LOT of completely retarded relationships, I met my husband and things have been pretty decent since then. There’s quite a bit of info about him floating around this board, but basically he’s a big guy who could stand to be way bigger, yet he’s essentially everything else I want, so our relationship works very well.

Like Amandy, I never hid my preferences (and there were no consequences from family or friends....no one cares who I’m fucking, and why should they?), but had some awful responses from the guys, themselves. It’s as if fat guys are OK with you dating them, as long as you pretend they’re not fat :S As soon as you pay any attention to the off-limit areas (belly, tits, double chin, etc), you are in SHIT, even if you clearly love those parts. And if you dare to tell them flat out that you like fat guys, oh man, you must be a sociopath, according to the ones I’ve dated. So this is probably why I ended up with a guy who isn’t that fat, but lets me enjoy what he’s got, to an extent. I add that last part because no one has ever fully participated in my fetishy stuff &#8211; sometimes I get to feed, sometimes I get to grope, once in a blue moon someone will say something just nasty that really gets me going, but for the most part, no one was ever interested. Again, like Amandy, I learned to just keep this side to myself, at least until I felt the guy might not explode upon hearing about it, and then I’d break it to him gently. “Yes...as you may have suspected, I like fat guys.”

And speaking of being interested, it really seems like fat guys are way less interested in me than thin guys. Thin guys hit on me all the time, but I can’t even remember the last time a fat guy tried it. I had to initiate everything with every fat guy, and there were so many failed attempts that it was getting depressing. I asked my husband about this once, just to see what he thought: he said that I look too fragile, and that fat guys probably don’t think us having sex would be realistic, so they don’t bother  I’m not saying I’m awesome looking or anything, but I’m about average, so I’d expect to do averagely-well in the pick-up success rate department....this was not the case.

This was a ridiculously long post for me, considering that I usually just pop up randomly in a thread, make a poop joke and disappear, so I hope it contained some info that will be helpful to you, Actor4hire. Sorry if it doesn't make much sense - it was extremely rushed.


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## Actor4hire (Jul 22, 2010)

Melian said:


> Ok....where to start?
> 
> My situation is probably different from most FFAs, because for the most part I am asexual. Its not that I dont want love, attention, physical contact, etc, just that Im not interested in intercourse - Ill do it, but its purely for the other persons benefit. So as a result of this issue, my drives and goals are different, eg. when I want someone, all I really want is to be with that person, not necessarily to fuck him/her (I am also bisexual, which further complicates things). All this crap may or may not be relevant to my experiences.
> 
> ...



It was great!! Thank you!!! 

What I am hearing from a lot of FFA's is that a lot of BHM get turned off by somebody who likes their fat. You would think it would be opposite, but since the majority of BHM & BBW don't visit boards like this, I can see why they wouldn't know that there are people who love them and their bodies just the way they are.

The constant daily battle of "Today is the day I will start to lose weight!" may make it hard to do a complete 180 to "Oh, I don't need to lose weight. You love my body just the way it is!"


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## LovesBigMen (Jul 22, 2010)

Well I am going to post even though I have no experience what so ever haha.
I do know that I have always liked hefty guys hehe ever since I was little the one that I can remember I liked alot was my best friend Juan and then I moved and it was Cody haha and then I moved. I never got the chance to take it any further cause I would moved damn. *sigh*
But I have hope haha though it does seem like many guys esspecially guys who don't know about sites like this don't see them selves the way I see them and it sucks hah.
I would like to say I am real I am an FFA and I have always been thin. My friends all know I like hefty guys I like all types of guys hefty guys I just tend to go for them more often hehe. When I told my friends that I like hefty guys they were like " But your so tiny" and I was just like yeah, but its what I like haha there understanding though. Yet I never talk about how I find hefty guys attractive as how they would be talking about buff guys. Since they don't fine hefty guys attractive and I don't talk about it with my family. I don't know if my parents would be to happy about it and I just dont know hah.
And I get super shy around a hefty guy I mean I am shy around any guys I am just really really shy around hefty guys that probably doesnt help but yeah.
Sorry for my bad grammer and such


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## Actor4hire (Jul 22, 2010)

LovesBigMen said:


> Well I am going to post even though I have no experience what so ever haha.
> I do know that I have always liked hefty guys hehe ever since I was little the one that I can remember I liked alot was my best friend Juan and then I moved and it was Cody haha and then I moved. I never got the chance to take it any further cause I would moved damn. *sigh*
> But I have hope haha though it does seem like many guys esspecially guys who don't know about sites like this don't see them selves the way I see them and it sucks hah.
> I would like to say I am real I am an FFA and I have always been thin. My friends all know I like hefty guys I like all types of guys hefty guys I just tend to go for them more often hehe. When I told my friends that I like hefty guys they were like " But your so tiny" and I was just like yeah, but its what I like haha there understanding though. Yet I never talk about how I find hefty guys attractive as how they would be talking about buff guys. Since they don't fine hefty guys attractive and I don't talk about it with my family. I don't know if my parents would be to happy about it and I just dont know hah.
> ...



Thanks for your post!


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## chicken legs (Jul 22, 2010)

Melian said:


> he said that I look too fragile, and that fat guys probably don’t think us having sex would be realistic, so they don’t bother .



One of my BFs totally reminds me of you..tats and all. So, when Escapist met her, he said basically the same thing. I told him that we used to swap clothes..ok she just kept taking mine..lol....and he just gave me this puzzled look. With my last lover, BHM 230-260, ...he actually became a feeder. Thats how I found Dims. I was trying to understand wtf was going on in his head. I'm like, I'm not going to magically become a amazon...unless steroids were in effect..lol. The thing is, gaining weight helped me handle sex on a regular basis with him....cushion for the pushin. Even with Escapist, it took over 6 months to build up enough muscle, strength, stamina to handle it on a regular basis. Even then, I take sabbaticals on a regular basis. I think thats why I always had guy friends and lovers in the past. I would just drop in every once and while and hit it up..lol.

I just realized I kept saying "handle it". hrmm...lol....naughty thought...nah...it would be TMI.


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## Tad (Jul 22, 2010)

Not that big, never been with an FFA, but just going to pass along an anecdote. When I was young there was a family across the street where both parents were quite fat (“SS” to use the acronyms of this board. I have no idea what they weighed, as a kid they were so much fatter than other people that I knew that I had no frame of reference for them). I sometimes played with their son, and was fascinated to notice that there did not seem to be any desire in the house for weight loss….they had a basement bar stocked with cookies and soda, the father would come home and fill up a large arm chair in front of the television and snack until supper, etc. (Since I was already fascinated with fat, I was soaking all of this in). 

At one point the mom lost a significant amount of weight (she was still fat, but smaller, at a wild guess maybe lost 75 pounds?). The word quickly went around the street that she’d admitted she’d lost the weight so that she could handle taking over the lawn mowing and snow blowing, because at his size it was getting to be a real struggle for her husband. Of course at the time the opinion of the other adults seemed to be “Why didn’t he lose weight then? He certainly should!” 

In full hindsight I’m pretty sure that she was at least an FFA, and good chance also a feeder (and likely enjoyed being fat herself). It just struck me as a sort of practical illustration of both the reality of being an FA of a large partner, and of how unlikely other people are to even consider that one might like their partner being fat.


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## Actor4hire (Jul 22, 2010)

Tad said:


> Not that big, never been with an FFA, but just going to pass along an anecdote. When I was young there was a family across the street where both parents were quite fat (SS to use the acronyms of this board. I have no idea what they weighed, as a kid they were so much fatter than other people that I knew that I had no frame of reference for them). I sometimes played with their son, and was fascinated to notice that there did not seem to be any desire in the house for weight loss.they had a basement bar stocked with cookies and soda, the father would come home and fill up a large arm chair in front of the television and snack until supper, etc. (Since I was already fascinated with fat, I was soaking all of this in).
> 
> At one point the mom lost a significant amount of weight (she was still fat, but smaller, at a wild guess maybe lost 75 pounds?). The word quickly went around the street that shed admitted shed lost the weight so that she could handle taking over the lawn mowing and snow blowing, because at his size it was getting to be a real struggle for her husband. Of course at the time the opinion of the other adults seemed to be Why didnt he lose weight then? He certainly should!
> 
> In full hindsight Im pretty sure that she was at least an FFA, and good chance also a feeder (and likely enjoyed being fat herself). It just struck me as a sort of practical illustration of both the reality of being an FA of a large partner, and of how unlikely other people are to even consider that one might like their partner being fat.



Interesting... You're probably right, she was a FFA. 

I have always wondered if we as a society weren't subjected to what the "masses" think looks sexually appealing, who would be on top. (pardon the pun) The big husky fat guys or the slim muscular guy. 

I would think in the days of cavemen a large husky guy was the guy to be with. It mean't he knew how to hunt food & that he was probably strong enough to fend off other cavemen from hurting his family or stealing his food haul. 

It has been scientifically proven that men preferred larger women in days past. Large hips mean't the women would be better suited to rear children. 

I would still love to hear from more of the FFA's on this board on this topic. But thanks to everyone is has/is contributing.


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## HDANGEL15 (Jul 22, 2010)

Actor4hire said:


> FFA's, I need any and all info you can write about your experience of being a FFA. What age were you when you first realized your preference, did you hide it from your friend's/family, are you still hiding it, who was the first BHM that caught your eye, what is it about BHM that you like, etc.


*
I think I was in my early 20s-30s when I really started figuring out my turn-on for muscular men with big GUTS. I really loved that combo and something to do with the EGO and CONFIDENCE to show it off is huge. I had a bf about 13 yrs ago, that was very manly, muscular, furry, hysterically funny that I got to know for years on the internet. I used to confide my dating/man problems to him while he was married at the time. 

Eventually he did separate from his wife (nothing to do w/me) and we met and went to an Allman Bros concert. We already had an incredibly strong basis of friendship, but i was INSANELY ATTRACTED TO HIM..in every way. I made no secrets about it, but he is an old skool biker and very traditional about sex. He didn't want to hurt me and break my heart, as he knew he would if he ever crossed that line w/me.

He walked around when we went to bikeweek in Daytona in just a leather vest, showing the WORLD his furry perfect big beer belly. He was so confident and never thought of himself as FAT. He like many men I have met, never understood my desire to caress, stroke, fondle and rub on his /their big bellys. Many decades i masturbated w/several pillows underneath me and fantasized it was a big bellied man.

I have been with a few men in the fetish aspect of this and it was insanely fun, and wildly erotic for me. Generally I make no bones about the fact i love a mans huge belly (i have only dated very big guys in the last decade). THey NEVER understand my passion/fetish, and I am never in a relationship long enough to get to it. 

To go back a little, i did date / live with a man over 10 yrs ago, and when I realized I really wasn't attracted to him at all, after a year ( he was 170-175 and 5'10)...he used to make fun of me all the time at biker gigs, SAYING ....* OH THERES A BIG SWEATY FAT GUY FOR YOU..YOU WANNA SLOBBER ALL OVER HIM DON"T YOU*..embarassing me and making me feel *LESS THAN* for that preference.....and ultimately this was one of 1000s of reasons we aren't together today, we should have never been more then friends.

i ran on way tooo long here also....as for family / friends....TODAY they all know my preference and really really really don't get it......friends are cool, and family is like WTF:doh:

but i know what i like *


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## Actor4hire (Jul 22, 2010)

HDANGEL15 said:


> *[F]
> I think I was in my early 20s-30s when I really started figuring out my turn-on for muscular men with big GUTS. I really loved that combo and something to do with the EGO and CONFIDENCE to show it off is huge. I had a bf about 13 yrs ago, that was very manly, muscular, furry, hysterically funny that I got to know for years on the internet. I used to confide my dating/man problems to him while he was married at the time.
> 
> Eventually he did separate from his wife (nothing to do w/me) and we met and went to an Allman Bros concert. We already had an incredibly strong basis of friendship, but i was INSANELY ATTRACTED TO HIM..in every way. I made no secrets about it, but he is an old skool biker and very traditional about sex. He didn't want to hurt me and break my heart, as he knew he would if he ever crossed that line w/me.
> ...



HDANGEL15, thanks your your input.

When you hooked up with the BHM for the "fetish aspect" did they know going in that you were looking for that and if so, why did they not stay around for more? 

You also say your family says "WTF" to your preference of BHM. What are some of the things they have said over the years? 

Thanks again!


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## HDANGEL15 (Jul 22, 2010)

Actor4hire said:


> HDANGEL15, thanks your your input.
> 
> When you hooked up with the BHM for the "fetish aspect" did they know going in that you were looking for that and if so, why did they not stay around for more?
> 
> ...



*the BHM TOTALLY knew what it was about....i have no idea...why they didn't stick around...they were never nearby..and I think *IN GENERAL* they wanted to have a *COUGAR* experience...but not much more then that....

My brother is like 5'10 and 165...he is the total opposite of my body type, he outwardly DISLIKES FAT PEOPLE and makes no bones about it. I have called him on this a zillion times, as a small bbw at different points in my life, and my older sister is defenitely in that category. I always say she looks happy and beautiful and they just wanna know how she *LET THAT HAPPEN*  it really frustrates the hell out of me....they are my family or origin...i love them, but sometimes don't like these things...my father and his GF also talk about my sisters weight and just are wowed by her size...

i got off topic: as to my dad- he loathes every man i have ever brought around, and realized its easier to shut his mouth - if you dont have something nice to say (DONT SAY IT-his philosphy on this).....and he also knows I get bored quick , and they never last too long (THANK GOD FOR HIM) loolol

my siblings are always happy to see me with someone; especially if he makes ME HAPPY. My bro reserves his fat comments, as he really gets that I LIKE THEM LIKE THAT..he doesn't have to get it. My sister just wants me happy *


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## Actor4hire (Jul 22, 2010)

HDANGEL15 said:


> *the BHM TOTALLY knew what it was about....i have no idea...why they didn't stick around...they were never nearby..and I think *IN GENERAL* they wanted to have a *COUGAR* experience...but not much more then that....
> 
> My brother is like 5'10 and 165...he is the total opposite of my body type, he outwardly DISLIKES FAT PEOPLE and makes no bones about it. I have called him on this a zillion times, as a small bbw at different points in my life, and my older sister is defenitely in that category. I always say she looks happy and beautiful and they just wanna know how she *LET THAT HAPPEN*  it really frustrates the hell out of me....they are my family or origin...i love them, but sometimes don't like these things...my father and his GF also talk about my sisters weight and just are wowed by her size...
> 
> ...



Great info on the family!! How big is your sister if I may ask?? Does she like BHM or go for more skinny guys?


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## MasterShake (Jul 22, 2010)

Actor4hire said:


> What I am hearing from a lot of FFA's is that a lot of BHM get turned off by somebody who likes their fat. You would think it would be opposite, but since the majority of BHM & BBW don't visit boards like this, I can see why they wouldn't know that there are people who love them and their bodies just the way they are.


I wouldn't phrase it quite like that. I think Melian (well, her husband) is probably closer to the truth - I think anyone who considers him (or herself) to be ugly (be it from fat or something else) is going to be paranoid when someone they perceive as being out of their league shows interest, and likely will never bother even trying to hit on such a person out of feeling that it's an obvious rejection at best, an opportunity to be humiliated at worse.

I may be a bit biased here. I consider myself to be pretty average in how I interact with people, particularly women - I love joking and having fun, but I'm not real comfortable being a flirt, so I don't really get touchy-feely or try to make passes with a woman (unless she has basically flat-out directly told me she's interested).

I say this because I have had a number of women tell me that I am physically "intimidating" until they got to know me. This was especially true when I was in grad school for my Master's, but I've heard that since high school. Not that every woman I've met has said that, but at least a dozen just during my high school and college years.

I try to understand that, but really, I don't. But regardless it got to me over time. Being both tall and fat, I am very conscious of my size, something I get further reminded of daily when cars, restaurant seating, and a host of other things just don't fit right.

Having said that, there's still a part of me that enjoys being big, and would love nothing more than finding a tiny tiny FFA to enjoy that contrast with. Normally, my ideal woman type is short, curvy, and sassy, but sometimes I do think about what it'd be like to have a girlfriend who's short and thin. (but still sassy ).

Anyways, rambling now. Back to my point, it's a cliche that often comes off as a cop-out or excuse, but it's nevertheless very true - not to offput any ladies here, but if I were to just randomly meet someone like Jen, Rabbit, Eggplant, or the others, I consider them beautiful enough (by mainstream standards - and I mean that, I can't think of a single FFA w/ pictures on here who isn't a very beautiful woman) that I would not even consider hitting on them or thinking they'd be interested in me, WITHOUT OR UNLESS they clearly (i.e. without any risk of interpretation) made it, er, clear, that they found me attractive.

I hate using the past as an excuse, but I've made a stupid fool of myself - or in a few cases had others help do it for me - that I'm just not willing to do that again. It may screw me out of a relationship, if it hasn't already, but at some point you decide to just shut down certain risk elements instead of remaining willing to keep repeating/reliving them. :huh:


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## MasterShake (Jul 22, 2010)

Oops, in my rambling I forgot my main point - I've never dated an FFA, I think the girlfriends I've had just kinda put up or tolerated it, but I would love to find someone who actually wanted to fetishize my weight.

This will probably sound pathetic, but I remember ending up in a strip club with a private lap dance and this woman just would not stop playing with my belly and tonguing my nipples. I can't say that I've never had a girlfriend try that, but at the same time, and even with my cynicism regarding strippers, it certainly felt like she might be someone who actually enjoyed my belly rather than just playing it for the whole sexual fantasy thing that stripping is.

And even with my cynicism, I still couldn't help but enjoy that. 

I'm sure there are men who hate their bodies enough to not want their 'fat' areas touched - on dating sites I've seen a lot of BBW profiles that explicitly state "no chubby chasers", sometimes with an explanation that they want to lose the weight or that they don't want the obvious freak someone would have to be to enjoy their current bodies.


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## Amandy (Jul 22, 2010)

Actor4hire said:


> WOW!! Thank you so much for your input. Can I ask you are you thin or a BBW. Your story is very insightful. You write that most of the big guys you have been with can't handle the fetish side of the FFA attraction. Sounds like you are saying they just can't get a handle on the fact that somebody would find their body sexually appealing.
> 
> Can I ask if you have ever met up with any of the big guys on this board? It seems like the BHM on the FFA/BHM board would be into that sort of attention. I can see how a large guy who has no idea that there are women out there who love "hanging bellies" would possibly be scared of the situation.
> 
> ...



To answer your questions... 

yes, I'm a thin FFA. 

I'm not going to sit here and say being "conventionally attractive" is hard, but I think it's what has made it harder to shatter the illusion that many fat guys have that pretty girls only like pretty boys, or some such nonsense.

As far as BHM not "handling" my preference, I felt like it was about them not liking their fat and/or being in denial about fat as a part of their selves and not something "other." So, when an FFA expressed her FA nature to them, it put a big ole mirror up to his body; and many fat guys don't like looking in that mirror. Given the fat hate we're bombarded with, its not surprising, of course. But I was the bitch holding that mirror up.

I've never met any BHM from here, although there are many who've made my heart pound right through this series of tubes. And not just because they're big and hot, but because they're funny, sexy, sarcastic, confident, etc too. It just never worked out with right place and right time with anyone here.

I'll add that in high school a number like 400 would have scared me silly. Now I think 400 is so incredibly hot. Then again, in high school penises scared me and now I can't get enough dick (giggles).


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## Amandy (Jul 22, 2010)

djudex said:


> I'd put a play-time collar on you :batting:



See? Thoughtful AND insightful. This is what I'm talking about people.


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## djudex (Jul 22, 2010)

Amandy said:


> See? Thoughtful AND insightful. This is what I'm talking about people.



What can I say? I just happen to be the type of guy who'll put a girl up on a pedestal, pull her back down by her hair and then handcuff her to the bed


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## djudex (Jul 22, 2010)

Actor4hire said:


> BHM, have you ever had an experience with a FFA, how did it make you feel the first time you found out somebody liked you for your size, do you believe FFA's are really just a myth (no offense to the FFA's on this board), how do you feel about your size in general when it comes to meeting/dating women?



Ohhh right, the thread topic!!

I've never actually been in a relationship with an FFA although I have known for some time that they exist. I've had a one night stand with an FFA but that's about it intimacy-wise.

I did have one girl I dated who was going out with me despite my size though, she would stare in disturbed amazement when I walked around naked. She told me once that if I ever lost weight I would probably ruin her for other men. The one good thing about that relationship was that once she had about a half bottle of vodka in her she turned in to a porn star :bounce:


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## MasterShake (Jul 23, 2010)

djudex said:


> once she had about a half bottle of vodka in her she turned in to a porn star :bounce:


That's probably also true of most porn stars.


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## Actor4hire (Jul 23, 2010)

This is awesome. I am getting some great info with all of your postings. Thank you all so much for being open and honest.


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## HDANGEL15 (Jul 23, 2010)

Actor4hire said:


> Great info on the family!! How big is your sister if I may ask?? Does she like BHM or go for more skinny guys?



*she isn't very big by *DIMS* standards...5'2 and probably 225 or so 
her husband of 20 yrs is very small and 1/2 her size*


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## Tad (Jul 23, 2010)

Amandy said:


> T
> As far as BHM not "handling" my preference, I felt like it was about them not liking their fat and/or *being in denial about fat as a part of their selves and not something "other*." So, when an FFA expressed her FA nature to them, it put a big ole mirror up to his body; and many fat guys don't like looking in that mirror. Given the fat hate we're bombarded with, its not surprising, of course. But I was the bitch holding that mirror up.



I would agree with that part....this is a general FA/big-person experience, not just FFA/BHM. A lot of people of quite some size seem to manage this mental split where they know they are big, but at the same time their self-identity doesn't include that, in fact often is in opposition to that. So to have someone specifically enjoy that part of you, that you you don't really acknowledge as part of you, puts you in a pretty tough spot: You can reject them doing that altogether, you can accept that you are actually one of those horrible fat people, or you can continue in a pretty mind-screwing state of having your partner perving over something about you that you try to ignore.


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## Actor4hire (Jul 23, 2010)

"I used to think that anyone doing anything weird was weird. I suddenly realized that anyone doing anything weird wasn't weird at all and it was the people saying they were weird that were weird"- Paul McCartney


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 23, 2010)

> FFA's, I need any and all info you can write about your experience of being a FFA. What age were you when you first realized your preference, did you hide it from your friend's/family, are you still hiding it, who was the first BHM that caught your eye, what is it about BHM that you like, etc.



Like others I have always been an FFA, so I honestly can't tell you a specific age or time of my life that I realized it. I had my first orgasm at age 7 thinking about feeding, but it definitely was going on before that.

I've posted and reposted this, but when your celebrity crush is Chris Farley, there is no hiding anything. hah.

I can't say specifically what I like about BHM, since it's more intangible it's not a matter of "Well I'm attracted to fat guys because they have this particular characteristic." One thing I hate is any fat guy who was bullied or abused for his weight and turned out insecure or needy; it is just not something I can handle. It is awful to admit this but I much prefer men who gained weight as adults because they don't have the emotional baggage of having been fat kids. 

I do not see this as a weird thing. There are those who are only attracted to a certain race, age, gender, or type of look (jock, musician, preppy,) so what is different about being attracted to fat guys?


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## Actor4hire (Jul 23, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Like others I have always been an FFA, so I honestly can't tell you a specific age or time of my life that I realized it. I had my first orgasm at age 7 thinking about feeding, but it definitely was going on before that.
> 
> I've posted and reposted this, but when your celebrity crush is Chris Farley, there is no hiding anything. hah.
> 
> ...



What does your family think about you liking BHM?


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 23, 2010)

Both my parents hate fat people and are skinny themselves, but like Melian said, "nobody cares who I'm fucking and why should they?"

There is a lot said on these boards about reactions by friend and family. I totally understand caring about your peer group, caring about acceptance, wanting approval from others, and even having a lot of respect for your paretns and wanting their respect and approval in your choice of mate. That all having been said I think most people spend, or should spend, less rather than more time worrying over who your're sleeping with.

I think Melian's quote should be the new generic Dims signature.



> no one cares who Im fucking, and why should they?


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## Actor4hire (Jul 23, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Both my parents hate fat people and are skinny themselves, but like Melian said, "nobody cares who I'm fucking and why should they?"
> 
> There is a lot said on these boards about reactions by friend and family. I totally understand caring about your peer group, caring about acceptance, wanting approval from others, and even having a lot of respect for your paretns and wanting their respect and approval in your choice of mate. That all having been said I think most people spend, or should spend, less rather than more time worrying over who your're sleeping with.
> 
> I think Melian's quote should be the new generic Dims signature.



I agree 100%. People should be allowed to love what they love. It isn't hurting anybody. I think people are more tolerant of somebody dating a guy who is 6" 280 than a guy who is 6" 400. Both are big guys, but once you get past a certain point, people think it is ok to be mean and hateful. I know from my own experience that when I went from 400 down to 280 I went from being the "fat guy" to the "big guy". The "big guy" is ok with society. The "fat guy", not so much. 280 lbs is by no means skinny and by Dr.'s charts depending on height is considered obese, but it is interesting to see the difference in the eyes of society.


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## Amandy (Jul 23, 2010)

djudex said:


> What can I say? I just happen to be the type of guy who'll put a girl up on a pedestal, pull her back down by her hair and then handcuff her to the bed



you know I'd cut a bitch to be your sex slave, but nobody said anything about messing up the hair

:kiss2: checks lipstick in compact mirror :kiss2:


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## djudex (Jul 23, 2010)

Amandy said:


> you know I'd cut a bitch to be your sex slave, but nobody said anything about messing up the hair
> 
> :kiss2: checks lipstick in compact mirror :kiss2:



Don't worry, I'll comb it back in to place when we're done.


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## Amandy (Jul 23, 2010)

djudex said:


> Don't worry, I'll comb it back in to place when we're done.



you know, your all you all the time thread is utterly buried on the 2nd page... a little less hair styling and a little more eye candy, now chop! chop!


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## rabbitislove (Jul 26, 2010)

djudex said:


> What can I say? I just happen to be the type of guy who'll put a girl up on a pedestal, pull her back down by her hair and then handcuff her to the bed



Im soo over you living in Alberta right now


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## djudex (Jul 26, 2010)

Awww.....awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ...awww..AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

:doh::doh::doh::doh:


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## rabbitislove (Jul 27, 2010)

In all seriousness, thats my ideal man. I want to be put on a pedistal, but that doesnt mean I dont want to be roughed up from time to time. Mind you I love having my hair pulled and being handcuffed, but thats niether here nor there....

Okay uhm anyways what was the original topic of this post? Oh yeah, mid sized BHMs being more acceptable to date and blah blah. Ive noticed this only slightly in my life. Ive had some fatphobic friends make more comments when Ive dated larger BHMs, rather than the smaller to midsized.

My parents and extended family are horribly scared of fat, getting fat and having fat kids/grandkids, so anyone Ive dated they're like "ohh your so pretty why do you date fat guys" I know it especially bugs my dad, but in all honesty I pick my battles with my family. Im super respectful to my parents, do what they ask when I live with them for periods of time but when it comes down to it, its my life, my choice and I wont budge on my love for fat guys.


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## rabbitislove (Jul 27, 2010)

djudex said:


> Awww.....awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ...awww..AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
> 
> :doh::doh::doh::doh:



It might be for the best. Im scared of being shanked by Amandy. Dont get me wrong, I'd sex you up anyday, but if shes going to cut a bitch, well Im kind of a wuss and Id run away screaming, crying and possibly peeing myself. Not hot at all. Shoot.


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## djudex (Jul 27, 2010)

rabbitislove said:


> It might be for the best. Im scared of being shanked by Amandy. Dont get me wrong, I'd sex you up anyday, but if shes going to cut a bitch, well Im kind of a wuss and Id run away screaming, crying and possibly peeing myself. Not hot at all. Shoot.



We can put her in a glass box and let her watch, it's cool


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## MasterShake (Jul 27, 2010)

rabbitislove said:


> In all seriousness, thats my ideal man. I want to be put on a pedistal, but that doesnt mean I dont want to be roughed up from time to time. Mind you I love having my hair pulled and being handcuffed, but thats niether here nor there....
> 
> Okay uhm anyways what was the original topic of this post? Oh yeah, mid sized BHMs being more acceptable to date and blah blah. Ive noticed this only slightly in my life. Ive had some fatphobic friends make more comments when Ive dated larger BHMs, rather than the smaller to midsized.
> 
> My parents and extended family are horribly scared of fat, getting fat and having fat kids/grandkids, so anyone Ive dated they're like "ohh your so pretty why do you date fat guys" I know it especially bugs my dad, but in all honesty I pick my battles with my family. Im super respectful to my parents, do what they ask when I live with them for periods of time but when it comes down to it, its my life, my choice and I wont budge on my love for fat guys.



I WANT TO GO TO THERE!!! :smitten:


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## Amandy (Jul 27, 2010)

djudex said:


> We can put her in a glass box and let her watch, it's cool





rabbitislove said:


> It might be for the best. Im scared of being shanked by Amandy. Dont get me wrong, I'd sex you up anyday, but if shes going to cut a bitch, well Im kind of a wuss and Id run away screaming, crying and possibly peeing myself. Not hot at all. Shoot.





If my empty threats and unrequited lust will finally get you two together, I'd be willing to put the shiv away and watch - is there enough room in this so-called glass box to maturbate? 

Oh, but I'm not into golden showers, so no peeing, m'kay?


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## rabbitislove (Jul 28, 2010)

Amandy said:


> If my empty threats and unrequited lust will finally get you two together, I'd be willing to put the shiv away and watch - is there enough room in this so-called glass box to maturbate?
> 
> Oh, but I'm not into golden showers, so no peeing, m'kay?



Im into bondage and fat guys, but no golden showers. Theres something about working with dementia patients that makes continence so appealing 

The box has room for masturbating, and exists because someone *cough* is into voyerism. Not that I mind, usually its to my benefit 

And yes, the fact that we havent gotten together is probably obnoxious with all the flirting and whatnots. One of these days when I can put my credit card rewards points towards plane tickets and/or get back to work I will head up to Alberta. In the meantime, Jude, Colorado always welcomes you with open arms


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## Amandy (Jul 28, 2010)

rabbitislove said:


> Im into bondage and fat guys, but no golden showers. Theres something about working with dementia patients that makes continence so appealing
> 
> The box has room for masturbating, and exists because someone *cough* is into voyerism. Not that I mind, usually its to my benefit
> 
> And yes, the fact that we havent gotten together is probably obnoxious with all the flirting and whatnots. One of these days when I can put my credit card rewards points towards plane tickets and/or get back to work I will head up to Alberta. In the meantime, Jude, Colorado always welcomes you with open arms



I was going to PM this to you but apparently your box is full. Ha, there's a really obvious joke in there.

Anyway, I hope you knew I was just teasing you about getting together with djudex, I think your flirting is awesome* and not obnoxious at all. 

If I can't have him, he certainly deserves another awesome* FFA. So, if/when you do hook up, I will be one raging jealous bitch, and then you can be all smug and in my face about it


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## rabbitislove (Jul 28, 2010)

Amandy said:


> I was going to PM this to you but apparently your box is full. Ha, there's a really obvious joke in there.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you knew I was just teasing you about getting together with djudex, I think your flirting is awesome* and not obnoxious at all.
> 
> If I can't have him, he certainly deserves another awesome* FFA. So, if/when you do hook up, I will be one raging jealous bitch, and then you can be all smug and in my face about it



Hah Im not the smug and in your face type. I sound cocky on these boards, but in real life Im super meek and awkward LOL. 

And I have no digs on Jude in real life (as awesome as it would be) so I think its whoever gets to Alberta first wins  

Sounds like the making of an awesome reality TV show: The Amazing Race North for the Great Northern Sasquatch  

Ill work on the title later...


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## Zowie (Jul 28, 2010)

rabbitislove said:


> Hah Im not the smug and in your face type. I sound cocky on these boards, but in real life Im super meek and awkward LOL.
> 
> And I have no digs on Jude in real life (as awesome as it would be) so I think its whoever gets to Alberta first wins
> 
> ...



'Cept the real Sasquatch is in Wales right now.


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## rabbitislove (Jul 28, 2010)

Yes, this title and premise needs a LOT of work. Any FFAs who want free pizza, beer and to make some phat coinage producing a reality show, holla 

After dealing with frequent producers of daytime talk shows trolling this board for "perverts" to put on their shows (Im looking at YOU Tyra Banks...) we should start making our own shows. Ladies and germs, FUBU for chubby chasers


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## Paquito (Jul 28, 2010)

OMG my name's Paco, I'm 18, and I wanna be AMERICA'S NEXT TOP FAT MALE MODEL!!!!1!


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## djudex (Jul 28, 2010)

rabbitislove said:


> And I have no digs on Jude in real life (as awesome as it would be) so I think its whoever gets to Alberta first wins


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## shhtx1970 (Jul 29, 2010)

Amandy said:


> you know I'd cut a bitch to be your sex slave, but nobody said anything about messing up the hair
> 
> :kiss2: checks lipstick in compact mirror :kiss2:



This is why pony tails are preferred for this type of fun. easy to grab, easy to move and of course easier to control her, hehe 

Lucky Djudex, you get the wild ones. I am stuck in Texas where Big is a key word but people dont like BIG people they just like BIG things.

My background is different, my entire family include extended are thin people, sure after 40 they added some weight but in reality I am the only BIG one (350+). Sigh, I was chubby throughout HS, entered the Army, loss about 70 lbs in basic was a thin, lean fighting machine then got out and the weight came back. I exercised daily too but the weight just came back in full vengeance. So here I am single BHM, just chilling hoping one day maybe I meet a girl that like the real me or decides to actually date a nice guy for real, lol.


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## Sasquatch! (Jul 29, 2010)

I want to be America's Next Top Sasquatch! It's always been my dreambition!


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## Lavasse (Jul 29, 2010)

~Starts reading back trying to figure out where this thread got hijacked~


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## Actor4hire (Jul 30, 2010)

Lavasse said:


> ~Starts reading back trying to figure out where this thread got hijacked~



LOL! I was just doing the same thing!


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