# Telling people about loving fatness



## jdswangun (May 19, 2011)

I just thought I would post a little something.
Most people I know have always known I love big girls. I made no secret of it but it was only recently that I told one girl how much I love girls gaining and extreme obesity. I was really nervous but once I knew she understood I felt so good. It was like I could just tell her all my fantasies and it sort of brought it to life for me. I wasnt trying to convince her to gain or anything but it was great. I was wondering if anyone else has any similar experiences, good or bad.


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## OIFMountaineer (May 19, 2011)

jdswangun said:


> I just thought I would post a little something.
> Most people I know have always known I love big girls. I made no secret of it but it was only recently that I told one girl how much I love girls gaining and extreme obesity. I was really nervous but once I knew she understood I felt so good. It was like I could just tell her all my fantasies and it sort of brought it to life for me. I wasnt trying to convince her to gain or anything but it was great. I was wondering if anyone else has any similar experiences, good or bad.



Good question, and welcome to the board.

Like you, most of my friends know my preference (actually, I'm a bbw-preferenced bisizual, but that would probably get a little too confusing). I don't necessarily hide my preference to girls I go out with, but I don't make it the first topic of conversation either. I basically let them know that I am very attracted to them, all of them, regardless of body composition. Why? Well, let's face it, most of the mainstream world looks at us as a bit odd, even among those who are bbw/bhm. It may be a shame, but it's just the way it is. 

If you make someone feel attractive, and help them understand that you really, truly find them irresistible, they're more likely to understand, accept, and even encourage your particular interests. In that, the rules are the same, regardless what your partner looks like.

My recommendation? Don't push too much, too fast. You may be the first FA (if you consider yourself that) that she has went out with, and you are fighting years of hateful, damaging, and rude behaviour that she has experienced.

Good luck with you and your friend.


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## jdswangun (May 19, 2011)

Well I think at first the reason I brought it up was because I thought she might somehow be into gaining. I didn't just come out with it straight away but now I know she's not into gaining and doesn't want to gain but i still like to tell her how much I enjoy thinking about her becoming massive. I suppose I feel it was a really liberating experience.


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (May 22, 2011)

jdswangun said:


> Well I think at first the reason I brought it up was because I thought she might somehow be into gaining. I didn't just come out with it straight away but now I know she's not into gaining and doesn't want to gain but i still like to tell her how much I enjoy thinking about her becoming massive. I suppose I feel it was a really liberating experience.



It's best to give her a chance to get to know you a little bit. If she is unfamiliar with the BBW/FA subculture, she could assume you are a pervert and run away screaming. I have found that it is best to build a connection with the lady first and then discuss the FA stuff.


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## jdswangun (May 22, 2011)

ye definitly, it took me ages to tell her and i was thinking about it for ages. In my head i thought she would be so shocked and run a mile like you said but she wasnt really that surprised. I think it was good to just let someone know.


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## Webmaster (May 24, 2011)

That is not an easy question to answer, and it all depends on the situation. 

If you are an FA who relishes and celebrates fatness in a partner, not being able to talk about it all is a miserable experience that's neither satisfying nor fair to anyone. 

I recall a situation long ago where I felt I really needed to share how I truly felt, and it was a disaster as my partner at the time simply did not understand. It was a total disconnect. After much explaining she concluded it was probably just some weirdness in my system that I had to get over. Not.

An ideal situation is if you run into someone who actually shares your excitement and has complementary fantasies and longings on the female side. That does not happen often. If it does, and it is honest, it is awesome. 

In most cases, it's probably a slow, gentle process where partners get to know each other and build their intimate relationship. Within such a sphere of trust and togetherness, it then often becomes possible to openly share and find understanding and mutual ground.





jdswangun said:


> I just thought I would post a little something.
> Most people I know have always known I love big girls. I made no secret of it but it was only recently that I told one girl how much I love girls gaining and extreme obesity. I was really nervous but once I knew she understood I felt so good. It was like I could just tell her all my fantasies and it sort of brought it to life for me. I wasnt trying to convince her to gain or anything but it was great. I was wondering if anyone else has any similar experiences, good or bad.


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## bmann0413 (May 30, 2011)

Some people I knew asked, I told them. They asked me to explain. So I looked out into a nearby crowd and pointed out what I meant, followed by a heartfelt explanation as to why I feel that way. It's not that hard.


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## biodieselman (May 31, 2011)

Webmaster said:


> ... I recall a situation long ago where I felt I really needed to share how I truly felt, and it was a disaster as my partner at the time simply did not understand. It was a total disconnect. After much explaining she concluded it was probably just some weirdness in my system that I had to get over. Not.
> 
> An ideal situation is if you run into someone who actually shares your excitement and has complementary fantasies and longings on the female side. That does not happen often. If it does, and it is honest, it is awesome. ...



I believe my FA experience is somewhat different than most here.

I didn't start out as an FA but my first wife weighed near 200lbs when we married. She certainly wasn't skinny but I wasn't attracted to her because of her weight, she was simply a beautiful woman in my eye.

As her weight increased over the years & especially during her pregnancies, I began to realize that my physical attraction to her increased with her weight gain. Forgive me but I'm old school, I never talk about sex to any of my friends. Suffice it to say, I grew to really... really... "appreciate" BBWs.

Problem was... she hated being almost 300lbs. The larger problem being... she repeatedly told me there was something wrong with me for enjoying her fuller figure & constantly derided me for my preference. However, this wasn't the cause of our divorce. I'll simply say we grew apart. I stayed until the kids were grown before I left. When it came time for me to leave, she didn't want me to go but by then it was too late.

I had been married 24 years & getting back into the dating scene wasn't something I relished. I had heard about NAAFA & Dimensions Magazine & went to a very few dances. I'm not a bar/dance scene sort of man. I dated a few women until I found Ris, who had been active in the size acceptance movement for years. You said it best Conrad.

_"... An ideal situation is if you run into someone who actually shares your excitement and has complementary fantasies and longings on the female side. That does not happen often. If it does, and it is honest, it is awesome. ..."_


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