# I'm Better Looking Than Any Guy Here



## KingBoo (Jul 14, 2011)

End of Story.


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## KingBoo (Jul 14, 2011)

I'm 35, 440 Lbs with a 7 inch cock. HMU Ladies.


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## Broadside (Jul 14, 2011)

And you're humble too!


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## rellis10 (Jul 14, 2011)

Well you get right to the point, i'll give you that.


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## KingBoo (Jul 14, 2011)

What's humble, a wimpy fat guy that is niche.


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## Broadside (Jul 14, 2011)

Hey, humble doesn't mean weak, and arrogant doesn't mean cocky. I still haven't decided what the original post is though. Arrogant, or cocky.

Though with your 7 inches comment, I'm leaning towards "cocky". 

Good luck though man!


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## Sasquatch! (Jul 14, 2011)

You're really opening yourself up for ad hominem attacks, with that tone.


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## Mishty (Jul 14, 2011)

I still hail to all things Paquito...he's ruined the ladies of this board for any normal man. :happy:


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## coriander (Jul 14, 2011)

KingBoo said:


> I'm 35, 440 Lbs with a 7 inch cock. HMU Ladies.
> 
> http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/45830_149074268451274_100000461041597_346285_1456499_n.jpg[/QUOTE]
> 
> That's pretty short for a rooster.


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## Blackjack (Jul 14, 2011)

I disagree.

Paquito's better'n you'll ever be.


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## CastingPearls (Jul 14, 2011)

Paco is The Man. Well, actually Frank is but Paco is this board's The Man. 

And I thought it was going to be another slow night.


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## Paquito (Jul 14, 2011)

Mishty said:


> I still hail to all things Paquito...he's ruined the ladies of this board for any normal man. :happy:





Blackjack said:


> I disagree.
> 
> Paquito's better'n you'll ever be.





CastingPearls said:


> Paco is the man. Well actually Frank is but Paco is this board's The Man.
> 
> And I thought it was going to be another slow night.



Oh you guys. You are 100% correct and I love you all for it.

Having a thread devoted to yourself done the right way.


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## spiritangel (Jul 14, 2011)

As you can see the awesomeness that is Paquito spills over onto every thread it touches and sometimes because he is the Almighty Supremeness Paquito he sometimes cannot help but take over...............


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## Paquito (Jul 14, 2011)

So do you have any interests or hobbies, besides your 7 inch cock?


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Jul 14, 2011)

KingBoo said:


> I'm 35, 440 Lbs with a 7 inch cock. HMU Ladies.



HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That is all.


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## MasterShake (Jul 14, 2011)

Thanks to this thread I can't stop picturing Fantasy Island's Tattoo with a tripod.


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## CastingPearls (Jul 14, 2011)

I've never measured it but....


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## CarlaSixx (Jul 14, 2011)

Does anyone else get the feeling we've seen him around here before?


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## MasterShake (Jul 14, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> I've never measured it but....



Hard to tell from that shot, but I think your pussy's bigger than seven inches.


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## JulieD (Jul 15, 2011)

Omgosh, this is so funny! First of all, 7 inch cock is only a half inch bigger then average, and when it comes to fat, well you're going to have to do better then that. I also noticed that you never mentioned your height, so I'm going to venture that you are below average in that aspect. The reason for my assumption is because you obviously have no problem sharing information about your self, and considering all of the other physical attributes you mentioned, you left this one out. I am also going to call your bluff on the fake confidence you are attempting to show. My reason for this is because if you were really as confident as you pretend, you would have posted a better picture, and one that shows your short, average penis sized body off. I also think you have something called "little man syndrome". Its when a little man, much like yourself, feels the need to appear larger then life, but really it just makes you look more like the wee little man that you are. This is all very funny, sad, but funny. You funny sad wee little man. 

Understand that I have no problem with little men, I do have a problem with men who have an ego the size of a 9 incher, but only rock a 7...lame.


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## Ninja Glutton (Jul 15, 2011)

Height, weight, cock size...

No more information is needed to jump in bed with these ladies!

COME ONE COME ALL


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## LeoGibson (Jul 15, 2011)

Why don't you just get right to the point


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## charlieversion2 (Jul 15, 2011)

While I respect the fact that anyone on the Internet can make any statements.

Your account was created in 09
I've seen your photos under a different account on this board
All your 11 posts have been in this year

Troll possible, several alias', thus I conclude that your statements be labeled, questionable


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## CarlaSixx (Jul 15, 2011)

ChrisVersion2 said:


> While I respect the fact that anyone on the Internet can make any statements.
> 
> Your account was created in 09
> I've seen your photos under a different account on this board
> ...



I knew I wasn't the only one to notice  haha.


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## Broadside (Jul 15, 2011)

JulieD said:


> Omgosh, this is so funny! First of all, 7 inch cock is only a half inch bigger then average, and when it comes to fat, well you're going to have to do better then that. I also noticed that you never mentioned your height, so I'm going to venture that you are below average in that aspect. The reason for my assumption is because you obviously have no problem sharing information about your self, and considering all of the other physical attributes you mentioned, you left this one out. I am also going to call your bluff on the fake confidence you are attempting to show. My reason for this is because if you were really as confident as you pretend, you would have posted a better picture, and one that shows your short, average penis sized body off. I also think you have something called "little man syndrome". Its when a little man, much like yourself, feels the need to appear larger then life, but really it just makes you look more like the wee little man that you are. This is all very funny, sad, but funny. You funny sad wee little man.
> 
> Understand that I have no problem with little men, I do have a problem with men who have an ego the size of a 9 incher, but only rock a 7...lame.



...aaaaaaaand, owned.







Seriously man, it may be time to apologize. Or, at least blame it on a 12 pack of booze and the "bullet proof" feeling most of us have experienced at one point or another.

I know how hard it is to get a second glance from a woman, but coming in here and trying to show some kind of iron-clad confidence by calling yourself "the best looking", and by contrast the rest of us "not good looking", or at least "not as good looking as you"... well... that's not confidence, that's just being a dick. Albeit a 7 inch dick.

Either way, good luck man. We all make mistakes, and I think it's just time to own up to this one and let it wash away among the sea of other topics on this board.

*EDIT:*


ChrisVersion2 said:


> While I respect the fact that anyone on the Internet can make any statements.
> 
> Your account was created in 09
> I've seen your photos under a different account on this board
> ...








...didn't even notice all that.


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## Tracii (Jul 15, 2011)

OMG he is sooo hot.Come to me you sexy man.:wubu:


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## Paquito (Jul 15, 2011)

I have a better looking pacostache than any guy here.


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## Tracii (Jul 15, 2011)

Paquito you deff have my vote Sexi Mexi.


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## vardon_grip (Jul 15, 2011)

ChrisVersion2 said:


> While I respect the fact that anyone on the Internet can make any statements.
> 
> Your account was created in 09
> I've seen your photos under a different account on this board
> ...



While what you say may be true, it is a moot point. His statement is undeniably false. 
Ernest Borgnine, Brenda Vacarro, Spuds Mackenzie and 78% of the downstairs exhibits at the Mutter museum are 10X better looking than me, but even I got this guy beat by a country mile!
Plus I got a 7" TAINT that puts all you fux to shame! (You can see my photo spread in T'wasn't magazine vol. 6 #185) 

Beat that bitchez!


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## Oirish (Jul 15, 2011)

Bwahahaha! Ladies, how on earth are you not lining up for this gem? I mean, a whole wopping seven inches and that's not even a mug shot! Wow.


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## CarlaSixx (Jul 15, 2011)

Oirish said:


> Bwahahaha! Ladies, how on earth are you not lining up for this gem? I mean, a whole wopping seven inches and that's not even a mug shot! Wow.



They're lining up in their dreams


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## theronin23 (Jul 15, 2011)

And 1 of 3 things is going on with that pic. Either 1, he never washes around his eyes; 2, he took the picture in the dark on purpose; or 3, he's' trying to pull off light eyeliner.


Now...2 is highly plausible for obvious reasons, but if it's 3....silly boy, Ronin rocks the eyeliner 'round these parts.


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## penguin (Jul 15, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> I've never measured it but....



Pfft, whatever. Mine is 8 miles wide. You can't beat that, but you can come inside.


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## rellis10 (Jul 15, 2011)

JulieD said:


> Omgosh, this is so funny! First of all, 7 inch cock is only a half inch bigger then average, and when it comes to fat, well you're going to have to do better then that. I also noticed that you never mentioned your height, so I'm going to venture that you are below average in that aspect. The reason for my assumption is because you obviously have no problem sharing information about your self, and considering all of the other physical attributes you mentioned, you left this one out. I am also going to call your bluff on the fake confidence you are attempting to show. My reason for this is because if you were really as confident as you pretend, you would have posted a better picture, and one that shows your short, average penis sized body off. I also think you have something called "little man syndrome". Its when a little man, much like yourself, feels the need to appear larger then life, but really it just makes you look more like the wee little man that you are. This is all very funny, sad, but funny. You funny sad wee little man.
> 
> Understand that I have no problem with little men, I do have a problem with men who have an ego the size of a 9 incher, but only rock a 7...lame.




.....OUCH! That is all


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## Goreki (Jul 15, 2011)

JulieD said:


> Omgosh, this is so funny! First of all, 7 inch cock is only a half inch bigger then average, and when it comes to fat, well you're going to have to do better then that. I also noticed that you never mentioned your height, so I'm going to venture that you are below average in that aspect. The reason for my assumption is because you obviously have no problem sharing information about your self, and considering all of the other physical attributes you mentioned, you left this one out. I am also going to call your bluff on the fake confidence you are attempting to show. My reason for this is because if you were really as confident as you pretend, you would have posted a better picture, and one that shows your short, average penis sized body off. I also think you have something called "little man syndrome". Its when a little man, much like yourself, feels the need to appear larger then life, but really it just makes you look more like the wee little man that you are. This is all very funny, sad, but funny. You funny sad wee little man.
> 
> Understand that I have no problem with little men, I do have a problem with men who have an ego the size of a 9 incher, but only rock a 7...lame.


JULIE! That's not how you get all the boys to like you! Shame! haha


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## JulieD (Jul 15, 2011)

CarlaSixx said:


> They're lining up in their dreams



More like in his wet dreams...


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## Surlysomething (Jul 15, 2011)

My guess is that he was looking for attention. Now he has it.

But attractive? To me? Hell no. For obvious reasons.


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## imfree (Jul 15, 2011)

KingBoo said:


> I'm 35, 440 Lbs with a 7 inch cock. HMU Ladies.
> 
> ...snipped IMG..



If you going to talk the talk, you'd better rock the cock, or something like that. I know, 'cuz I'm over 400 lbs, myself, there ain't no way that couple inches that gets past the FUPA is going to convince the ladies of anything!


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## escapist (Jul 15, 2011)

I love this guy! He should post on the Penis size thread, "Post Your Sexiest Pics Nekkid (2)" thread, and sure there are many others! Really, with stats and a face like that just think of all the [email protected] he is missing lol...










And once again my point is proven that some guys need a rule book.


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## Jes (Jul 15, 2011)

escapist said:


> I love this guy! He should post on the Penis size thread, "Post Your Sexiest Pics Nekkid (2)" thread, and sure there are many others! Really, with stats and a face like that just think of all the [email protected] he is missing lol...
> 
> 
> 
> ...



i totally thought you were the OP!!


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## frankman (Jul 15, 2011)

PACO would've made this WORK
Whereas you just end up looking like a pedophile 

View attachment FACE.jpg


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## spiritangel (Jul 15, 2011)

frankman said:


> PACO would've made this WORK
> Whereas you just end up looking like a pedophile



hell yes he would have and I am sorry I am out of rep or I would give you some for prooving once again Paco is Da Man



Goreki said:


> JULIE! That's not how you get all the boys to like you! Shame! haha




no but it is how you bitch slap an ego back down into its box



theronin23 said:


> Now...2 is highly plausible for obvious reasons, but if it's 3....silly boy, Ronin rocks the eyeliner 'round these parts.




yes and you do it with style and class and I will just leave the rest of that sentance well enough alone



Paquito said:


> I have a better looking pacostache than any guy here.




For you are Paquito you must rock the Pacostache all other pacostaches are inferior to paquitos this is written across several galaxeys shame on him for not knowing


this thread is sooo full of epic win I am on the floor and out of rep damn it


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## escapist (Jul 15, 2011)

Jes said:


> i totally thought you were the OP!!



Plz! Most everybody here knows I'm 500+ and way better looking


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## Surlysomething (Jul 15, 2011)

imfree said:


> there ain't no way that couple inches that gets past the FUPA is going to convince the ladies of anything!


 
Haha.

Good one, Edgar!


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## notorious.jsc (Jul 15, 2011)

double post -_-


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## notorious.jsc (Jul 15, 2011)

theronin23 said:


> And 1 of 3 things is going on with that pic. Either 1, he never washes around his eyes; 2, he took the picture in the dark on purpose; or 3, he's' trying to pull off light eyeliner.
> 
> 
> Now...2 is highly plausible for obvious reasons, but if it's 3....silly boy, Ronin rocks the eyeliner 'round these parts.



#32 wins.. lmao


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## imfree (Jul 15, 2011)

Surlysomething said:


> Haha.
> 
> Good one, Edgar!



Thanks Tina, glad you liked the post and I see it goes well with your user title, Realist!


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## Mordecai (Jul 15, 2011)

frankman said:


> PACO would've made this WORK
> Whereas you just end up looking like a pedophile



The collar isn't popped; what gives?


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## SanDiega (Jul 15, 2011)

but I suspect that many feel the same way as I do.

Unless it is amazingly huge or amazingly small, we really dont care all the much about how big your penis is.


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## xxeell (Jul 15, 2011)

I think confidence is something to be admired.


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## CastingPearls (Jul 15, 2011)

xxeell said:


> I think confidence is something to be admired.


Pathological narcissism is not.


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Jul 15, 2011)

SanDiega said:


> but I suspect that many feel the same way as I do.
> 
> Unless it is amazingly huge or amazingly small, we really dont care all the much about how big your penis is.



Well Hello, let me introduce you to my average penis. I also like to read, cook and play music.


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## CastingPearls (Jul 15, 2011)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> Well Hello, let me introduce you to my average penis. I also like to read, cook and play music.


Can you make it da.....can you dance too?


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## Geodetic_Effect (Jul 15, 2011)

They should battle it out with this. 

http://www.beautyanalysis.com/index2_mba.htm

Find out who has better phi-ordered geometry and dynamic symmetry.


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Jul 15, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> Can you make it da.....can you dance too?



of course, I have it do the wristwatch, the helicopter, and the shake and bake.


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## CastingPearls (Jul 15, 2011)

Geodetic_Effect said:


> They should battle it out with this.
> 
> http://www.beautyanalysis.com/index2_mba.htm
> 
> Find out who has better phi-ordered geometry and dynamic symmetry.


That's only for faces. There's nothing on that site for dicks. I made extra sure.


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## imfree (Jul 15, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> That's only for faces. There's nothing on that site for dicks. I made extra sure.



I wonder if it could be adapted for a dickhead?


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## FishCharming (Jul 15, 2011)

JulieD said:


> Omgosh, this is so funny! First of all, *7 inch cock is only a half inch bigger then average*, and when it comes to fat, well you're going to have to do better then that. I also noticed that you never mentioned your height, so I'm going to venture that you are below average in that aspect. The reason for my assumption is because you obviously have no problem sharing information about your self, and considering all of the other physical attributes you mentioned, you left this one out. I am also going to call your bluff on the fake confidence you are attempting to show. My reason for this is because if you were really as confident as you pretend, you would have posted a better picture, and one that shows your short, average penis sized body off. I also think you have something called "little man syndrome". Its when a little man, much like yourself, feels the need to appear larger then life, but really it just makes you look more like the wee little man that you are. This is all very funny, sad, but funny. You funny sad wee little man.
> 
> Understand that I have no problem with little men, I do have a problem with men who have an ego the size of a 9 incher, but only rock a 7...lame.



wait, are you saying that average is 6 and a half inches?!?!?!?! FUUUUUUUU..... are you sure it's not centimeters? 

whatever, i'm still prettier than that dude. not paco, but that dude for sure!


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## Geodetic_Effect (Jul 15, 2011)

FishCharming said:


> wait, are you saying that average is 6 and a half inches?!?!?!?! FUUUUUUUU..... are you sure it's not centimeters?
> 
> whatever, i'm still prettier than that dude. not paco, but that dude for sure!




average is between 5 and 6 inches erect


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## FishCharming (Jul 15, 2011)

Geodetic_Effect said:


> average is between 5 and 6 inches erect



so what you are saying is that 2 inches is definitely _below_ average???
FUUUUUUUUUUU.......


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## daddyoh70 (Jul 15, 2011)

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the OP did not provide a very recent photo of himself either... Just saying

http://dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1729991&postcount=2791


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Jul 15, 2011)

daddyoh70 said:


> I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the OP did not provide a very recent photo of himself either... Just saying
> 
> http://dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1729991&postcount=2791



HAHAHAHA, fuck I can't rep you. You deserve a whole Gold Star worths of rep just for that.


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## CastingPearls (Jul 15, 2011)

Who's gonna break it to him that he's not supposed to measure from his asshole?


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## Broadside (Jul 15, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> Who's gonna break it to him that he's not supposed to measure from his asshole?



Wait what? Damnit... I thought I was gifted.


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## Miss Vickie (Jul 16, 2011)

RE: the 7 inches, pics or it didn't happen. Oh, and you might want to see your doctor. You look a little jaundiced.



KingBoo said:


> I'm 35, 440 Lbs with a 7 inch cock. HMU Ladies.


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## MissAshley (Jul 16, 2011)

Lol @ this thread and posts :bow: 

And yes I think you look great!


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## daddyoh70 (Jul 16, 2011)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> HAHAHAHA, fuck I can't rep you. You deserve a whole Gold Star worths of rep just for that.



Thank you, thank you :bow: Coming from you that means a lot!



CastingPearls said:


> Who's gonna break it to him that he's not supposed to measure from his asshole?



CP FTW!!! Best post of the thread thus far!


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## warwagon86 (Jul 16, 2011)

frankman said:


> PACO would've made this WORK
> Whereas you just end up looking like a pedophile



hahahahaha i just fell off my bed laughing! hahahahahahahaha


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## TheMildlyStrangeone (Jul 16, 2011)

so what are the rules on reverse trolling this guy?


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## TheMildlyStrangeone (Jul 16, 2011)

actually, I don't care, 







Sorry Adrian, but I'll take you on any day in a looks contest.


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## CarlaSixx (Jul 17, 2011)

Ladies don't need to hit him up... looks like he'll do it all on his own.




I mean... he _*is*_ wearing rapist glasses, after all...


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## Tracii (Jul 17, 2011)

A 7' cock is a small rooster is it not?


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## frankman (Jul 17, 2011)

I for one believe that the OP's picture IS current, and that he ages backwards. It's more common than people think.


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## penguin (Jul 17, 2011)

frankman said:


> I for one believe that the OP's picture IS current, and that he ages backwards. It's more common than people think.



He must be from Ork.


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## daddyoh70 (Jul 17, 2011)

*OH MY GOD!!! WHY THE HELL CAN'T I REP ANYBODY?!?!?!?!?!?!*


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## vardon_grip (Jul 17, 2011)

...and in the next chapter of my book, "How To Commit Social Suicide" I discuss the effectiveness of using your privates to alienate both sexes. Be sure to look for my next bestseller, "All Talk, No Walk: A Grand Delusion" on shelves this fall!


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## MrBob (Jul 17, 2011)

I hate to steal the OP's thunder but hell, I think I'm better looking! And as for my penis size the only way anyone's finding out is if they're in firing range!


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## Melian (Jul 18, 2011)

Why did you guys scare this sexy man away?

I was just about to invite him over for some lobster and rim jobs.


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## MasterShake (Jul 18, 2011)

Some rims and lobster jobs, wait what???


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## Broadside (Jul 18, 2011)

Melian said:


> Why did you guys scare this sexy man away?
> 
> I was just about to invite him over for some lobster and rim jobs.



Canadian customs are so strange. We just shake hands, drink coffee, and perform fellatio in the US.


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## Melian (Jul 18, 2011)

Broadside said:


> Canadian customs are so strange. We just shake hands, drink coffee, and perform fellatio in the US.



Ewwwwww....coffee.


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## rellis10 (Jul 18, 2011)

Broadside said:


> Canadian customs are so strange. We just shake hands, drink coffee, and perform fellatio in the US.



In England we shake hands, drink tea...wait several years and then you're allowed to kiss on the cheek.


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## MrBob (Jul 18, 2011)

Broadside said:


> Canadian customs are so strange. We just shake hands, drink coffee, and perform fellatio in the US.



We prefer tea in the UK and not all of us perform fellatio! (Whoever said it's better to give than receive clearly wasn't thinking about blowjobs!)


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## Melian (Jul 18, 2011)

rellis10 said:


> In England we shake hands, drink tea...wait several years and then you're allowed to kiss on the cheek.



"Almost....almost....almost....there we are."


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## Broadside (Jul 18, 2011)

MrBob said:


> We prefer tea in the UK and not all of us perform fellatio! (Whoever said it's better to give than receive clearly wasn't thinking about blowjobs!)



Well I use the old school rules. If you're paying you're not fellating. Which is how the commonplace practice of the man paying for drinks/dinner came about. It has made for a few awkward after dinner moments, but at least the coffee breath kills any other odors that may be lingering. (Ok I have to stop now I'm getting neauseated at the thought of performing fellatio, even if it were to possibly involve a 7 inch penis, cunnilingus on the other hand...)



Melian said:


> "Almost....almost....almost....there we are."



Well done!


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## MrBob (Jul 18, 2011)

Broadside said:


> Well I use the old school rules. If you're paying you're not fellating. Which is how the commonplace practice of the man paying for drinks/dinner came about. It has made for a few awkward after dinner moments, but at least the coffee breath kills any other odors that may be lingering. (Ok I have to stop now I'm getting neauseated at the thought of performing fellatio, even if it were to possibly involve a 7 inch penis, cunnilingus on the other hand...)!



Oh I agree cunnilingus is indeed the breakfast of champions! And I'm sure many of the ladies on the board would agree it's even better when they've got a man who clearly knows how to eat!:eat2:


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## Paquito (Jul 18, 2011)

Aaaaaand the creepiness has come full circle.


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## theronin23 (Jul 18, 2011)

Melian said:


> Why did you guys scare this sexy man away?
> 
> I was just about to invite him over for some lobster and rim jobs.



Gosh damn you Melian. I'm from New England, I KNOW how you eat lobster. And now the thought of the usefulness of drawn butter is torturing my SOUL.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Jul 18, 2011)

LOL the guy hasn't posted since he made this topic.LMAO if he is so great he would have surely came back.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jul 18, 2011)

KingBoo said:


> I'm 35, 440 Lbs with a 7 inch cock. HMU Ladies.



Four pages and no one's asked what HMU means? Am I missing an abbreviation I should already know? Hairy Man Underwear? lol


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## Broadside (Jul 18, 2011)

I had to look it up on urbandictionary.com. It means "*H*it *M*e *U*p"

Guess I need to brush up on my street slang.


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## cinnamitch (Jul 18, 2011)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Four pages and no one's asked what HMU means? Am I missing an abbreviation I should already know? Hairy Man Underwear? lol



I think it's Hit Me Up, but i like yours better


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jul 18, 2011)

Broadside said:


> I had to look it up on urbandictionary.com. It means "*H*it *M*e *U*p"
> 
> Guess I need to brush up on my street slang.





cinnamitch said:


> I think it's Hit Me Up, but i like yours better



Clearly I am just not cool.


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## tonynyc (Jul 18, 2011)

HeavyDuty24 said:


> LOL the guy hasn't posted since he made this topic.LMAO if he is so great he would have surely came back.



*W*ouldn't be the first....


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## ConnieLynn (Jul 18, 2011)

Thank you all for adding laughter to my Monday! I now have so many fun responses for when guys tell me the size of their penis! Rep all around 



imfree said:


> If you going to talk the talk, you'd better rock the cock, or something like that. I know, 'cuz I'm over 400 lbs, myself, there ain't no way that couple inches that gets past the FUPA is going to convince the ladies of anything!





SanDiega said:


> but I suspect that many feel the same way as I do.
> 
> Unless it is amazingly huge or amazingly small, we really dont care all the much about how big your penis is.






CastingPearls said:


> Who's gonna break it to him that he's not supposed to measure from his asshole?


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## CastingPearls (Jul 18, 2011)

He's still measuring. Some assholes are bigger than others.


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## Broadside (Jul 18, 2011)

We have to measure our assholes now? Is this for the rimjob thing? I'm confused? Is that a custom here?


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## CastingPearls (Jul 18, 2011)

Broadside said:


> We have to measure our assholes now? Is this for the rimjob thing? I'm confused? Is that a custom here?


Yes. You probably didn't get the memo. Chop chop.


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## ConnieLynn (Jul 18, 2011)

From this point forward, I expect men to measure everything  I really need to know size of hands, length of nose, distances between toes.


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## penguin (Jul 18, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> He's still measuring. Some assholes are bigger than others.



Iamnotthinkingaboutgoatse.Iamnotthinkingaboutgoatse.Iamnotthinkingaboutgoatse.


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## CastingPearls (Jul 18, 2011)

penguin said:


> Iamnotthinkingaboutgoatse.Iamnotthinkingaboutgoatse.Iamnotthinkingaboutgoatse.


Now everyone is going to be tricked into Googling goatse. 

People, whatever you do, don't Google 'tubgirl'. 

No seriously. 

No really, don't.


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## imfree (Jul 18, 2011)

ConnieLynn said:


> From this point forward, I expect men to measure everything  I really need to know size of hands, length of nose, distances between toes.



Sometimes I wonder if the most impressive measurement we men can have is that vast space between our ears!


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## Fat Brian (Jul 19, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> Yes. You probably didn't get the memo. Chop chop.



What measurement do you need ? Diameter ? Circumference ? Capacity ?


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## CarlaSixx (Jul 19, 2011)

Fat Brian said:


> What measurement do you need ? Diameter ? Circumference ? Capacity ?



The more detailed, the better


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## HeavyDuty24 (Jul 19, 2011)

tonynyc said:


> *W*ouldn't be the first....




o is that so.XD


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## HeavyDuty24 (Jul 19, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> Now everyone is going to be tricked into Googling goatse.
> 
> People, whatever you do, don't Google 'tubgirl'.
> 
> ...



im well aware of what goatse is,seen it years ago and don't need to see it ever again ugh.


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## CastingPearls (Jul 19, 2011)

Fat Brian said:


> What measurement do you need ? Diameter ? Circumference ? Capacity ?


Brian, your stalling techniques are insultingly transparent and unoriginal. Please try again.


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## Melian (Jul 19, 2011)

My anus prolapses 6.7cm out of my body.

HMU ladies.


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## Broadside (Jul 19, 2011)

Melian said:


> My anus prolapses 6.7cm out of my body.
> 
> HMU ladies.



Oh great, something else to measure...


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## cakeboy (Jul 19, 2011)

Melian said:


> My anus prolapses 6.7cm out of my body.
> 
> HMU ladies.



Organic free-range goatse milk : coming to a Whole Foods near you! Sorry, I'm stoned off my ass 

Nice to see you around again!


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## Fat Brian (Jul 19, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> Brian, your stalling techniques are insultingly transparent and unoriginal. Please try again.



Does this tell you anything ?


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## CastingPearls (Jul 19, 2011)

Fat Brian said:


> Does this tell you anything ?


It's time for dinner? I made eggplant parm yesterday. 
AGAIN WITH THE UNORIGINALITY BRIIIIIII.


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## coriander (Jul 19, 2011)

I kind of feel ashamed that I thought of this. But there it is:


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## Fat Brian (Jul 19, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> It's time for dinner? I made eggplant parm yesterday.
> AGAIN WITH THE UNORIGINALITY BRIIIIIII.



It ain't fit for dinner when I'm done with it !


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## TheMildlyStrangeone (Jul 19, 2011)

Melian said:


> My anus prolapses 6.7cm out of my body.
> 
> HMU ladies.



rofl


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## ClockworkOrange (Jul 20, 2011)

Dude, the mystery of whatever happened to Piston Honda is stone solved. Makes me wonder what Sodapopinski is up to. Shout out to King Hippo and Bald Bull. They're the real ladykillers


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## Melian (Jul 20, 2011)

cakeboy said:


> Organic free-range goatse milk : coming to a Whole Foods near you! Sorry, I'm stoned off my ass
> 
> Nice to see you around again!



You should come over to my place. We can look at goatse together


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## theronin23 (Jul 20, 2011)

Melian said:


> You should come over to my place. We can look at goatse together



Aww....but we planned our lemonparty months ago! You could at least tell me if you wanna reschedule


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Jul 21, 2011)

Melian said:


> My anus prolapses 6.7cm out of my body.
> 
> HMU ladies.



All this talk regarding your gaping anus is making me so hot for you right now. Do me in the face.


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## Broadside (Jul 21, 2011)

Sweet! Can I watch? I've got popcorn, I'll share!


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## Melian (Jul 21, 2011)

You guys are going to have to ask cakeboy for permission. 

He's kind of hostile....


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## Broadside (Jul 21, 2011)

Well I can bring a bat too, but last time I showed up to a sex show with a bat I got weird looks, had to pay $100 bucks extra, and my bat got ruined. So ya know... yeah.


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## FishCharming (Jul 22, 2011)

Broadside said:


> Well I can bring a bat too, but last time I showed up to a sex show with a bat I got weird looks, had to pay $100 bucks extra, and my bat got ruined. So ya know... yeah.



his name is roberto, he no like the light


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## Rebel (Jul 22, 2011)

He's got me beat.


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## Broadside (Jul 22, 2011)

Don't feel bad, he's got us all beat man. His personality and looks are like his penis. They're seven inches good.

He's a seven inch trifecta! How do you compete with that?!? It's like finding a red four leaf clover with a cock ring!

Plants don't know where to buy cock rings! That's how rare this guy is.

It's just... so discouraging.

*wipes the caked sarcasm off the screen*

Ahh there, that's better, it was starting to obscure my view.


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## Melian (Jul 25, 2011)

Broadside said:


> Don't feel bad, he's got us all beat man. His personality and looks are like his penis. They're seven inches good.
> 
> He's a seven inch trifecta! How do you compete with that?!? It's like finding a red four leaf clover with a cock ring!
> 
> ...



*eats the sarcasm cake*

What?


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## Paquito (Jul 25, 2011)

It's a good thing we're not all trying to jump on his dick or anything, he never checked back in with this fantastic thread. 

COME BACK KING BOO, I WAS JUST JEALOUS OF YOUR SUPERIORITY


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## WVMountainrear (Jul 25, 2011)

He's probably gotten like 25 PMs, and we're all just assholes...














...nah.


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## JulieD (Jul 25, 2011)

He is probably 7 inches too far from his computer to respond...
Or he realized that he has been made a fool of and walked the 7 inch walk of shame...
Or he only has 7 more inches to finish knitting a new sweater and wants to finish it before it starts to snow 7 inches...
Maybe he realized that a US dollar is only 6 inches and is spending his time writing to the US treasury department, with a 7 inch pencil, about how it should be 7 inches and not just the average 6...
He could be on a 7 inch cruise, just now realizing that a 7 inch cruise doesn't fully satisfy anyone...it certainly isn't the Love Boat


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## CastingPearls (Jul 25, 2011)

He can come back when he can do this:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=564007980481820927


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## imfree (Jul 25, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> He can come back when he can do this:
> 
> http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=564007980481820927



Likewise, Ma'me, when he can be a member of a team like this, with his member!


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## KingBoo (Sep 1, 2011)

I'm Back


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## SlightlyMorbid (Sep 2, 2011)

KingBoo said:


> I'm Back



That return was short-lived...


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## Sasquatch! (Sep 2, 2011)

SlightlyMorbid said:


> That return was short-lived...



Shorter than his wang? Nope.


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## SlightlyMorbid (Sep 2, 2011)

Sasquatch! said:


> Shorter than his wang? Nope.



Spot on old bean.


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## MaryElizabethAntoinette (Oct 24, 2011)

I hate to bump this thread back to the main page... but damn... I laughed so 'effin hard reading through the responses, that I just had to mention it.

So amazingly hilarious.


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## Deanna (Oct 25, 2011)

I wasn't around when this thread was active.

We have some a-holes on this board. Funny and righteous a-holes.


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## Fatgirlfan (Oct 25, 2011)

I just got here, what's going on?


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## Lil BigginZ (Oct 25, 2011)

Fatgirlfan said:


> I just got here, what's going on?



Zombie apocalypse


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## penguin (Oct 25, 2011)

Lil BigginZ said:


> Zombie apocalypse



I did bring the undead into the forums recently.


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## JenFromOC (Oct 25, 2011)

Lil BigginZ said:


> Zombie apocalypse



Oh just great.....


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## SlightlyMorbid (Oct 25, 2011)

BWAAIIIIIINNNNSS


-randomly chomps on peoples' skulls-


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## cakeboy (Oct 25, 2011)

When this thread started I realized I was woefully inadequate for the ladies on this board. I hired a personal trainer and I have achieved awesome results. Not only am I now the best looking guy on the board, I have a 17-inch penis that shoots milk chocolate, $100 bills, rainbows, and baby unicorns. HMU you totally righteous fucking babes! RAWR!


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## Surlysomething (Oct 25, 2011)

cakeboy said:


> When this thread started I realized I was woefully inadequate for the ladies on this board. I hired a personal trainer and I have achieved awesome results. Not only am I now the best looking guy on the board, I have a 17-inch penis that shoots milk chocolate, $100 bills, rainbows, and baby unicorns. HMU you totally righteous fucking babes! RAWR!


 

You had me at baby unicorns. :wubu:


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## Broadside (Oct 25, 2011)

Damn, I'll have to keep working then. Shortly after reading this thread I decided to surpass the boo by having my dick combat rated for duty on 8 continents (Mars, bitches). I'm not sure when I'm going to need to fuck in a war-zone, but when I'm called to duty once again, not only will I be able to sexily perform my sexerations with the same skill an assassin weilds their deadly efficient killing systems, I'll be able to do it in space.


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## Melian (Oct 25, 2011)

cakeboy said:


> When this thread started I realized I was woefully inadequate for the ladies on this board. I hired a personal trainer and I have achieved awesome results. Not only am I now the best looking guy on the board, I have a 17-inch penis that shoots milk chocolate, $100 bills, rainbows, and baby unicorns. HMU you totally righteous fucking babes! RAWR!



Imagine going in for a chocolate milk cum shot, and then you get smacked in the face with a unicorn. Ouch.


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## SlightlyMorbid (Oct 25, 2011)

Dey see me rollin'
Dey be hatin'.
Bitches be crazy o3o


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## Shosho (Oct 25, 2011)

Lil BigginZ said:


> Zombie apocalypse



Oh no.. Funny, actually, I was just watching The Walking Dead, haha


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## Deanna (Oct 25, 2011)

cakeboy said:


> I have a 17-inch penis that shoots milk chocolate, $100 bills, rainbows, and baby unicorns.



Pure BS. 

Everyone knows 17-inch cocks only shoot dark chocolate and no bill greater than $20.


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## analikesyourface (Oct 25, 2011)

This all reminds me of the smelly ex of mine, who was ugly, and was annoying. And had a SCARY LOOKING 13-14 inch dick. And who was way too old for me. And very rough in foreplay stuff, nevermind sex. And I was a virgin.


ALL OF THESE THINGS ARE SCARY, AND I'M REMINDED OF AFTER I READ THIS.


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## tonynyc (Oct 25, 2011)




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## djudex (Oct 25, 2011)

Melian said:


> Imagine going in for a chocolate milk cum shot, and then you get smacked in the face with a unicorn. Ouch.



Suddenly, UNICORNS OUT OF NOWHERE!!!!!!


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## MaryElizabethAntoinette (Oct 25, 2011)

I'm so glad I bumped this thread. 


The hilarity just doesn't stop coming, does it?


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## Lil BigginZ (Oct 25, 2011)

My penis is so big, if I laid it out on a keyboard, it'd go from a to z. HMU ladies


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## MaryElizabethAntoinette (Oct 25, 2011)

Lil BigginZ said:


> My penis is so big, if I laid it out on a keyboard, it'd go from a to z. HMU ladies



Hah!



I get it. 



xP


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## Deanna (Oct 25, 2011)

Lil BigginZ said:


> My penis is so big, if I laid it out on a keyboard, it'd go from a to z. HMU ladies



I was only going to write "Now I'd be impressed if you could adjust your resolution with it."

Then I got the joke.


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## Fatgirlfan (Oct 29, 2011)

Lil BigginZ said:


> Zombie apocalypse



yikes, I'm outta here!


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## ManBeef (Oct 30, 2011)

Lil BigginZ said:


> My penis is so big, if I laid it out on a keyboard, it'd go from a to z. HMU ladies



Oh yeah!!! Well my dick is so BIG...  It looks like I'm massaging my clit when I masturbate:sad:


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## su3liminal (Oct 31, 2011)

I thought it was a pube until I peed out of it...


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## Geodetic_Effect (Nov 1, 2011)

I'm hung like an ox. 

View attachment pizzle.jpg


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## Tracii (Jan 19, 2012)

If I had one it would probably crow in the morning


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## SitiTomato (Jan 19, 2012)

It's a good thing the poor guy made this thread before I registered. I'd have hated to make him a liar on top of everything. 

By the way I'm 5 foot 11 and 280 pounds...but penis size isn't everything.


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## Lil BigginZ (Jan 19, 2012)

SitiTomato said:


> It's a good thing the poor guy made this thread before I registered. I'd have hated to make him a liar on top of everything.
> 
> By the way I'm 5 foot 11 and 280 pounds...but penis size isn't everything.



That's what "they" say anyway...


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## ManBeef (Jan 23, 2012)

They say a lot of things... Lol


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## Surlysomething (Jan 23, 2012)

Photographic evidence, please.


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## Lil BigginZ (Jan 23, 2012)

Surlysomething said:


> Photographic evidence, please.



LOL I don't want to scare all the girls (what we have here anyways lol) away now.


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## Surlysomething (Jan 23, 2012)

Lil BigginZ said:


> LOL I don't want to scare all the girls (what we have here anyways lol) away now.


 

We can handle it. Haha.


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## lovelocs (Jan 23, 2012)

Did someone say peen? 

View attachment hey!!.jpg


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