# What do you wish they knew?



## Paul (Feb 19, 2008)

This question is primarily for those who are fat, those who are just a few pounds to several hundreds of pounds fat.

Is there anything you wished that the society knew about about persons who are fat? Is there anything that annoys you by the way society views people who are fat?


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## Aliena (Feb 19, 2008)

Yeah, I wish the people of the Earth would realize prejudice in any form is our demise! But I've been accused of being an idealologist. 

"Imagine all the people..."


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## troubadours (Feb 19, 2008)

we're just like ANYONE else.

except more to luv.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 19, 2008)

I wish people realized that if I don't see someone that is thin as "attractive", or I think they are "too skinny" (yes, there really IS such a thing  ), or I just don't get what the big deal is being made over someone, that it's not because I'm fat (which is supposed to automatically equate to me being jealous/unhappy :eye roll: )....it's because I TRULY feel that way :huh::blink::doh:
Fat people are capable of seeing beauty, too. 

Oh, and we're also capable of being beautiful...exactly how we are.


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## Jon Blaze (Feb 19, 2008)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I wish people realized that if I don't see someone that is thin as "attractive", or I think they are "too skinny" (yes, there really IS such a thing  ), or I just don't get what the big deal is being made over someone, that it's not because I'm fat (which is supposed to automatically equate to me being jealous/unhappy :eye roll: )....it's because I TRULY feel that way :huh::blink::doh:
> Fat people are capable of seeing beauty, too.
> 
> Oh, and we're also capable of being beautiful...exactly how we are.



HOME RUN FOR THE GREEN BABY!


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## Shosh (Feb 19, 2008)

I used to just wish people would not yell things out at me when I was walking down the street. I had a beer bottle thrown at me once which was very traumatic for me.


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## ashmamma84 (Feb 19, 2008)

I'm not always hungry, I don't eat at a trough...other things in life are important too.

I don't loathe my body -- in fact, I think it's hawt.

I'm not easy, or down on my confidence...no there isn't some skinny chick on the inside screaming to get out...even if there was, I'd eat her.

I'm lovely, amazing and fabulous just as I am.

I'm not on a diet and have never been.

Yes, I am very physically active.

No, I don't eat crap, day in and day out.

Some fat women are single, not because they can't "get a man", but because their standards are high. We aren't all willing to jump at any ole' thing that shows us some attention.

I go out in the world -- I go to the spa, I travel the world, I shop, I go to theater, I belly dance, do yoga, volunteer, work, go to class, make love, argue, I dine out, I make friends, I keep in touch with old ones, I love, I laugh, I cry, I hurt, I give and get pleasure, I am made of the same things you are, just in bigger proportions...I AM A HUMAN BEING.


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## Shosh (Feb 19, 2008)

ashmamma84 said:


> I'm not always hungry, I don't eat at a trough...other things in life are important too.
> 
> I don't loathe my body -- in fact, I think it's hawt.
> 
> ...




Exactly. Major rep right here.:bow:


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## Shosh (Feb 20, 2008)

I wish

* They would take a long walk off a short pier
* They would not make assumptions about a person's character based on their weight
* They would take a picture coz it lasts longer
*They would not call you the "Big Girl"
* They would Fuck Off! There I said it.

I went through years of abuse from people because of my weight.


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## bmann0413 (Feb 20, 2008)

Susannah said:


> I used to just wish people would not yell things out at me when I was walking down the street. I had a beer bottle thrown at me once which was very traumatic for me.



Who was that bastard?! I'll kill him for making my Shoshie go through a traumatic experience! Especially by throwing a beer bottle at her!!!


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## DdeelishUK (Feb 20, 2008)

I wish men wouldn't come up to me and say ... quote:

"I think your amazing - your beautiful and your personality shines BUT I have this issue with you being fat. If you lost 5 (10) stone I would date you in an instant!"

And my reply ... quote:

Sorry hunny but 1) I don't need to be thin to find love and decency
2) If I ever wanted to lose weight it wouldn't be for you but for myself
And 3) Even if I DID lose the weight you desire I wouldn't date a narrow minded bigot like you anyway

sigh....why do they think we are so desparate/grateful for a date we will even lose weight for them?


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## Jon Blaze (Feb 20, 2008)

ashmamma84 said:


> I'm not always hungry, I don't eat at a trough...other things in life are important too.
> 
> I don't loathe my body -- in fact, I think it's hawt.
> 
> ...


REPSUDEN!!
*HAI!!!* :bow:

*Runs away like a ninja*


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## TallFatSue (Feb 20, 2008)

Paul said:


> Is there anything you wished that the society knew about about persons who are fat?


Sometimes the best man for the job is a fat woman.


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## bexy (Feb 20, 2008)

*ooh i love this thread.

-i wish people would realise that it is just as wrong to shout abuse at a fat person as it is to shout abuse at a black or gay person. it isnt funny, its immoral.

-i wish people knew it is possible to be fat and healthy, that we arent all suffering all of the time!

-i wish people knew i am GENUINELY happy with my body, i do NOT want to change it. i wish people would stop seeing fit to give me diet/slimming pills/weight loss group advice. 

-i wish people would stop saying i am pretty/attractive/sexy/a good dancer FOR A FAT GIRL.....

-i wish people would realise that fat girls are just as attractive as slim girls, that different folks like different strokes and it is likely that a man is with a fat girl as he thinks she is hot, not because he is "settling".

-i wish men in nightclubs would realise that i am not desperate, in fact i am the only one of my friends NOT single. i wish they would realise if i turn them down it does not give them free licence to start with the fat insults.

-i wish restaurants, airplanes, cinemas etc would make seats ever so slightly bigger and more comfortable as not everyone in the world is the same size.

-i wish people would understand that whilst i love food i am NOT a greedy goat who will eat anything and everything, and sits and eats chocolate and pizza like a pig all day every day.

-i wish every clothes store would cater to plus sizes so i dont feel marginalized everytime i go shopping.

-i wish more FAs were not chicken shits and would just admit they like fat girls instead of being ashamed of it as to me that makes them quite scummy.*


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## Tooz (Feb 20, 2008)

-I like food and I like to eat, but that is not why I'm fat. If I ate salads, I'd still be fat. Therefore, people should stop staring just because I ordered french fries.

-I echo the diet advice shit. (STORY TIME) On the first day of one of my classes this semester, one classmate and I were in the room alone, waiting for things to start. I asked her what she was drinking as it looked like cranberry juice or something delicious. She told me it was green tea with raspberry flavoring in. I said, "oh." After a beat, she tells me she lost a lot of weight drinking green tea, and she used to be REALLY HEAVY. She then looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to say, "oh wow, what a good idea!" (Yes, I know the look.) I flatly said, "ah, green tea. I prefer black for my morning caffiene." After that she turned around and didn't say anything else to me.

Stop giving me diet advice. I don't want it. Hell, even if there was a pill I could take today to make me a size 6 for the rest of my life, I wouldn't take it. I worked to accept who I am and what my body is, and I like it.

-The biggest one is I wish people would realise that fat chicks want the same clothing options as skinny ones. Yeah, there are a lot of fantastic options out there for women up to a 24 or so, but above that it gets difficult. While the flowy, empire waist shirts do look fabulous on other fat women, what about those who have a personal style that clashes with it? I can't wear that stuff, I look ridiculous. I spend a lot of time squeezing into size 18/20 shirts and stuff because a lot of it is more my style. I'm lookin' at YOU, Old Navy. (Though, they do have a lot of good stuff in their plus section, too.)


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## Fyreflyintheskye (Feb 20, 2008)

Paul said:


> Is there anything you wished that the society knew about about persons who are fat?



I wish they realized we don't have to settle for someone who feels they are settling for us. 

We actually have our own adoring fans :happy:


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## Tad (Feb 20, 2008)

That overall, I like my body the way it is, and have no particular urge to change it dramatically--and that is OK.


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## James (Feb 20, 2008)

Ok, I hope my posting this doesnt constitute a hijack but I'd like to add something...

If there was one message I could hammer home into the collective mind of 'society' it would be that fatness, being fat, choosing to remain fat, not hating one's fat self etc. etc. is *not a moral failing*... 

I think that if people realised this, it would go a long way to allowing a wide-spread rational discourse on size acceptance to actually make some significant progress forward. It seems to me at least, that dealing with this 'morality' issue is the key to breaking down fatism.


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## jamie (Feb 20, 2008)

Due to the marvel of the industrial revolution and the wonders of modern construction...we are probably not going to plummet to our deaths if I get on that elevator with you.

And to the cute blonde who works at the plastic surgery clinic across the hall from our family practice clinic....I am not contagious and have no plans to lick your face while we are in the elevator, thus giving you my fat ass virus.


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## Shosh (Feb 20, 2008)

James said:


> Ok, I hope my posting this doesnt constitute a hijack but I'd like to add something...
> 
> If there was one message I could hammer home into the collective mind of 'society' it would be that fatness, being fat, choosing to remain fat, not hating one's fat self etc. etc. is *not a moral failing*...
> 
> I think that if people realised this, it would go a long way to allowing a wide-spread rational discourse on size acceptance to actually make some significant progress forward. It seems to me at least, that dealing with this 'morality' issue is the key to breaking down fatism.



This is kind of what I meant when I said that one's character should not be judged by what their weight is. Being obese does not make you immoral.


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## Ben from England (Feb 20, 2008)

I think this refers to sensitivity in general, but I was a fat kid growing and of course I've still got all those wonderful insecurities about weight and stuff (I managed to get over the idea that me being fat equates to a moral failing, as James so accurately put it, intellectually, but emotionally it is still a massive thing thats taking alot longer to change), so the one, impossible, thing that I'd like to drill into people is the impact of insensitive or poorly though out comments from friends and relatives. My Dad for example, I love him and all that, but I was round there a few weeks ago, still carrying a bit of extra Christmas weight on what is usually a pretty athletic frame and he goes, before a roast dinner no less, 'when are you gonna start running again then, Ben'. I told him to eff off of course, but it's these comments from mates and family, way more than standard insults, that tend to send me off the deep end, and to the mirror. My Mum on the other hand, I'll be round her place trying a new shirt on or something, and go 'i reckon I've put on a few' (translates to: Not feeling as good about the way I look at the minute) and she'll say 'yeah, maybe a bit, but you carry it fine', which almost has the effect of diffusing a bomb in my nutty mind. She just doesn't say that stupid shit. I've got friends that are good in the same way.

So I wish people close to me knew how much stupid comments can push my buttons.


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## Ben from England (Feb 20, 2008)

oops, double post. Still got my Web board L plates on.


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## CAMellie (Feb 20, 2008)

No....being fat doesn't automatically mean I'm "jolly". 

And I'm fat...not deaf and blind. Stop acting like I can't see you pointing...or hear your rude comments.

*dipshits act like I won't come over there and whoop on somebody (huffs and puffs and gets decidedly UNjolly)*


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## James (Feb 20, 2008)

Ben from England said:


> I think this refers to sensitivity in general, but I was a fat kid growing and of course I've still got all those wonderful insecurities about weight and stuff (I managed to get over the idea that me being fat equates to a moral failing, as James so accurately put it, intellectually, but emotionally it is still a massive thing thats taking alot longer to change), so the one, impossible, thing that I'd like to drill into people is the impact of insensitive or poorly though out comments from friends and relatives. My Dad for example, I love him and all that, but I was round there a few weeks ago, still carrying a bit of extra Christmas weight on what is usually a pretty athletic frame and he goes, before a roast dinner no less, 'when are you gonna start running again then, Ben'. I told him to eff off of course, but it's these comments from mates and family, way more than standard insults, that tend to send me off the deep end, and to the mirror. My Mum on the other hand, I'll be round her place trying a new shirt on or something, and go 'i reckon I've put on a few' (translates to: Not feeling as good about the way I look at the minute) and she'll say 'yeah, maybe a bit, but you carry it fine', which almost has the effect of diffusing a bomb in my nutty mind. She just doesn't say that stupid shit. I've got friends that are good in the same way.
> 
> So I wish people close to me knew how much stupid comments can push my buttons.


 
Ultimately (and I know its a slightly blasée, ivory tower-esque kind of comment), one of the problems here (speaking generally - not aimed particularly at you Ben) ... and its possibly the biggest problem...(?) is that the events that effect our appearance-related self esteem mostly come from external feedback and affirmation from others. No man or woman is an island and when it comes to the impact of judgement from family and loved ones its hard to close your ears to that kind of stuff. 

As great as online support and communities such as this one are, I think that ultimately there is more to be gained (in terms of self esteem and self empowerment) from addressing and challenging these people head on about the comments they make and the prejudice they show. 

This is how we'll change "what do you wish they knew" to "they *know*" because _'they'_ arent going to come here or places like this.

anyway, thats just my two pence... I hope it makes some kind of sense?


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## BothGunsBlazing (Feb 20, 2008)

I wish this thread didn't have to exist. 

As in, damn, ignorant people piss me off. 

I wish people in my life would stop trying to justify my preference. It's incredibly irritating. I don't know if anyone else has experienced this, but I really don't think anyone tries to come up with 1,000 excuses as to why some one may be attracted to thin women, but for some reason I need to have some kind of "special" reasoning behind it. 

I think people are expecting me to say something like "I was humped up by an obese mime as a child .. over and over again"


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## activistfatgirl (Feb 20, 2008)

It would be a light-years improvement if others simply didn't assume that I'm in a physical state/embodiment that must be temporal.

I get the sense that my friends/peers are down with the fat in the sense that I'm fat, and they're liberal thinkers who aren't going to throw stones.

But it's temporal, as in love the sinner, hate the sin.

If they knew how much I AM fat as much as my body is fat, how much it's a part of who I am and what I desire - I'm sure this would not be okay. 

I'd love to have more open conversations about my love of fatness both in my own embodiment and in others. Well, I do. I guess what I'd love to see changed is more people actually understanding that.


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## stefanie (Feb 20, 2008)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> I wish this thread didn't have to exist. ... I wish people in my life would stop trying to justify my preference.



I agree. If someone wants a fat partner, male or female, that shouldn't be seen as "deviant" in any way. No one should have to justify, rationalize, or explain it. And certainly no one should have to take any grief for it.


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## Ben from England (Feb 20, 2008)

James. I absolutely believe that self-esteem, and the entire image we hold of ourselves in terms of more than just physical appearance, is built up from the reflections we see in other people. Combating prejudice on more than a superficial level is so intangibly difficult, though, because you're appealing to hearts and minds, trying to restructure the way somebody looks at the world. I can always tell somebody that something they have said is hurtful, and they may not even say it again, but they will think it, and to change the fact they even think it in the first place is the challenge. 

Reflecting on what you said, about confronting 'them', may have exposed the cynic in me, the belief that some people are never going to see things the way I do. I have friends, who I like a lot and are respectful to who I'm seeing, that I can't seem to get past the 'but Ben... she's fat', (as though it's some kind of a sin) reasoning at the core, no matter how many times we have the conversation and how many angles I approach it from. They just consider me an anomaly, a bit of a deviant, like their friend has some weird mental quirk. As a result, if I do give them shit for being prejudiced against fat people, they write it off as inconsequential, 'oh, that's just Ben, he's into fat girls.' Some of them I get through to, but it's the ones that won't listen that tend to bug me the most cause they come across as most ignorant to me. I guess what I'm driving at (you're a bit older, and invariably more experienced in dealing with these situations than me) is how do you address and challenge people in a way that's actually going to have an impact, not just shut them up? Do you think it's enough for them just to keep their prejudiced opinions to themselves?


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## D_A_Bunny (Feb 20, 2008)

I would like to tell people to stop using their alleged concern for a fat person's health or so-called lack of it to defend their actions when they degrade a fat person. 
As in, well, if we are nice to them, they will continue to be fat, and then we aren't doing them any favors, are we, cause they are all going to get diabetes and heart disease and die. So I am actually doing them a favor by shaming them so they lose weight.

*walks away, shaking head, with just a glint of a tear after proof reading her words*


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## stefanie (Feb 20, 2008)

Ben from England said:


> ... how do you address and challenge people in a way that's actually going to have an impact, not just shut them up? Do you think it's enough for them just to keep their prejudiced opinions to themselves?



Hi, Ben - I know you addressed this to James, but perhaps you won't mind my 2 cents.

I agree that the point is not to simply "shut people up." Winning hearts and minds won't happen that way, even if the immediate point is to get someone from saying hurtful things.

As I see it, the first line gets drawn inside oneself. First, the person has to be convinced inside that he or she is worthy of respect. Then, the next step is having full assurance that the person chosen as a partner is worthy of respect as well. It's not enough to say the words. You have to believe them inside - be willing to stake everything on them - be willing to turn them into action. Everything else follows.


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## Jon Blaze (Feb 20, 2008)

DumbAssBunny said:


> I would like to tell people to stop using their alleged concern for a fat person's health or so-called lack of it to defend their actions when they degrade a fat person.
> As in, well, if we are nice to them, they will continue to be fat, and then we aren't doing them any favors, are we, cause they are all going to get diabetes and heart disease and die. So I am actually doing them a favor by shaming them so they lose weight.
> 
> *walks away, shaking head, with just a glint of a tear after proof reading her words*



This is correct.

The lack of rational is my problem with it. If one truly wanted to help them, and there was no barring on aesthetic, then they wouldn't come with a concerned or negative tone: They would be straight, but respectful, and not dismiss any claims against them as "Conspiracy."

I wish people knew, as the lovely Kate Harding has said on more than one occasion:
*"SHAMING T3H FATTIES DOESN'T FUCKING HELP! It makes things WORSE." *


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## Keb (Feb 20, 2008)

I wish people would understand:

I'm not stupid, just because I'm fat. I've got a BA, I read Shakespeare for pleasure, I know calculus, I've taught English, and I can program a computer. I've even been published. I was in all the smart classes as a student, and did well in them. I may not be a genius, but I'm not stupid, and I'm creative as a bonus feature. If I had to say "What?" one too many times for your liking, it's because I'm hearing impaired, which has nothing to do with my weight or intelligence.

I'm not lazy, just because I'm fat. I can actually be a very hard, very productive worker. I've never been fired from a job; I've always left under good terms. And my attendence records for both school and work have always been exemplary. (Would I prefer to have someone else mow the lawn? Yeah...but that's not exactly the same thing.) I'm not at the gym every day, but I do enjoy active things like dancing, swimming, acting, and playing with kids. I actually watch very little TV.

Twinkies are not my favorite food. Nor is chocolate. I'm not obsessed with food, and I don't live on fast food. I cook for myself and eat a variety of reasonably healthy choices. I may not eat the healthiest diet, but I doubt you do, either, and if you do, I hope you enjoy it but I probably wouldn't so don't tell me about it.

I didn't choose to be fat. I'm not choosing to stay that way. It's just how I am, and I don't think radical surgery or starvation is one bit healthier than being how I've always been. I never 'let myself go', since I've been fat as long as I can remember. Maybe there is something wrong with me, but if there is, they've yet to find a cure. Either way, I'm still a person, not despite my weight, not because of my weight, just a person who happens to have a certain weight (and a certain height, and hair color, and dimples...).

If I could change my size tomorrow, I'd ask to be a size 12-14. But first I'd ask the fairy if I could pretty please have smaller feet, or perfect vision, or be granted a meeting with a man who'd be willing to marry me up and love me the rest of my life. There's so many things that have a higher priority in my life than my dress size. I've got worse problems than being obese (and no other serious health issues I'm aware of) and higher goals than being thin.

Being thin would not solve all my problems overnight. It might help with one or two, but it's not going to make everything perfect. After all, there are thin people who are thin and lonely, thin people who are unemployed, thin people who face depression, disease, debt, and lots of other horrible things--and some of those I don't have to worry about!

I have as much right to take seconds as you do. Glaring at me is not going to make me less hungry. I don't eat significantly more than anyone else--you're just paying more attention because of my size. If you're hungry, there's plenty more in the dish, so help yourself.

While I can't say I'm fond of my fat specifically, I do like how I look in general. I like my hair probably too much. I like the way my waist curves onto my hips. I like how my eyes match the color of my hair perfectly. And I love being complimented just as much as anyone else. 

I want love and marriage and a family. Gee, awfully average things to want, huh? I'm not any different just because I'm fat. And I'm not going to settle for less just because I'm fat, either.


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## SilkyAngela (Feb 20, 2008)

My size is big.

It fits me.

And that is all they need to know.


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## Fyreflyintheskye (Feb 20, 2008)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> I wish this thread didn't have to exist.
> 
> As in, damn, ignorant people piss me off.
> 
> ...




LOL... you just reminded me of this charming, little tete-a-tete an old bf of mine endured. A woman he works with, who, incidentally, was speaking to me just moments beforehand in the most jovial and lighthearted way before I stepped away, asked him, "SO, does your friend work in this building? I haven't seen her around." (motioning to myself) He: "No, she's my girlfriend. She's from (insert different town)" Her face: a dawning of sheer wonder and amazement, so he said. He said she looked completely in awe at him, gave him a nice squeeze on the arm, and said, "Well. <three second pause> GOOD FOR YOU!" and looked over again at me and patted his shoulder before walking away. 

_Good for you, wow! you're such a trooper taking one for the team like that_... is what he made of it. I laughed so hard. I'm not sure why I laughed when I probably should have been insulted. It was just so funny at the time.


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## James (Feb 25, 2008)

Ben from England said:


> James. I absolutely believe that self-esteem, and the entire image we hold of ourselves in terms of more than just physical appearance, is built up from the reflections we see in other people. Combating prejudice on more than a superficial level is so intangibly difficult, though, because you're appealing to hearts and minds, trying to restructure the way somebody looks at the world. I can always tell somebody that something they have said is hurtful, and they may not even say it again, but they will think it, and to change the fact they even think it in the first place is the challenge.





Ben from England said:


> Reflecting on what you said, about confronting 'them', may have exposed the cynic in me, the belief that some people are never going to see things the way I do. I have friends, who I like a lot and are respectful to who I'm seeing, that I can't seem to get past the 'but Ben... she's fat', (as though it's some kind of a sin) reasoning at the core, no matter how many times we have the conversation and how many angles I approach it from. They just consider me an anomaly, a bit of a deviant, like their friend has some weird mental quirk. As a result, if I do give them shit for being prejudiced against fat people, they write it off as inconsequential, 'oh, that's just Ben, he's into fat girls.' Some of them I get through to, but it's the ones that won't listen that tend to bug me the most cause they come across as most ignorant to me. I guess what I'm driving at (you're a bit older, and invariably more experienced in dealing with these situations than me) is how do you address and challenge people in a way that's actually going to have an impact, not just shut them up? Do you think it's enough for them just to keep their prejudiced opinions to themselves?


 

Hi Ben, sorry I took so long to reply to your post. I think my reply might be a little waffle-ey so apologies if it seems to lose its thread… anyways,

In my opinion, the key to the success of size acceptance will be in defeating ignorance by social* normalisation*. 

The way I look at it (and this is just my opinion so I apologise if this offends anyone) is that racism and homophobia were the 'norm' amongst 'right-thinking' and 'good' people the past. Black and gay people were considered part of the 'abnormal', their lives and lifestyles were seen as foreign and at odds with social and moral norms... To be black or gay was therefore perceived as threat to the mainstream on those grounds. 

Now, (in most areas of the developed world) being black or gay is within the 'norms' of social and moral acceptability. Not only do most people have an awareness that it isn’t PC to discriminate, more importantly, they aren’t actually thinking discriminatory thoughts (I like to think this is the case anyway). 

I think things changed due to two factors. Firstly, there was (and is) the process of activism. The Martin Luther Kings and Audre Lorde's of this world raise the issue, increasing social consciousness and giving people a focal point around which to organise. As consciousness is raised, ignorance is reduced and the foundations of discrimination are eroded. The next factor (in my opinion the most important factor) was the process of normalisation that followed this initial phase. As discriminated parties found a voice, they start to register in the public consciousness… the &#8216;right-thinking’ people find their &#8216;reasons’ for discrimination to be challenged as they become exposed to more and more of &#8216;alternatives’ to the existing norms within their day to day lives. This is when those norms start to incorporate what was previously considered 'the other'.

I think the same will be true of size acceptance. There are the same &#8216;right thinking’ people &#8216;discriminating righteously’ against fat around today as there were in the past doing the same against dark skin tone or same-sex preference. I don’t think you have to be a placard waving, speech-making, fist-in-the air activist to make a difference. Whilst that kind of thing plays an important part in activism, its not everything. Indeed, on its own I doubt it would succeed. 

As FAs and BBWs we can do our bit by help contribute to the social normalisation of fatness… and we can do this by being visible… More FAs being open and 'out' as is a part of this. For instance, walking down the street holding hands with a BBW is, in my opinion, activism. FAs and BBWs can be activists by doing *pretty much anything* that chips away at those ignorant pre-conceptions and caricatures of fat-people that fuel the ignorant prevailing perceptions towards them....


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## Ample Pie (Feb 25, 2008)

This is one of my big ones! Way to go, GEF!

People often seem to think that I can't recognize beauty, class, or poise. Annoying.



Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I wish people realized that if I don't see someone that is thin as "attractive", or I think they are "too skinny" (yes, there really IS such a thing  ), or I just don't get what the big deal is being made over someone, that it's not because I'm fat (which is supposed to automatically equate to me being jealous/unhappy :eye roll: )....it's because I TRULY feel that way :huh::blink::doh:
> Fat people are capable of seeing beauty, too.
> 
> Oh, and we're also capable of being beautiful...exactly how we are.



I dislike this too, but I'm getting used to it.

Recently, I got a PM here that kind of said the opposite:



> by the way your profile pic is very attractive, i mean you look great.
> 
> now about your hair. i would try to get you to do more with your hair.



That kind of threw me for a loop.



DdeelishUK said:


> I wish men wouldn't come up to me and say ... quote:
> 
> "I think your amazing - your beautiful and your personality shines BUT I have this issue with you being fat. If you lost 5 (10) stone I would date you in an instant!"
> 
> ...


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## Carol W. (Feb 25, 2008)

1) That for the vast majority of us, fat is NOT a "lifestyle choice". 

2) That just because you develop health problems, even weight-related health problems, it's no easier to lose weight and change your body size than it was when you were healthy. 

3) Keep your condescending "concern" for my health to yourself. Trust me, I'm not nearly as concerned about YOUR health. 

4) That the media would go jump into a lake of integrity, and take a good long soak there. Start providing some balance in your coverage of health and weight issues.

5) That weight, like so many other physical characteristics, follows a bell curve from very thin to very fat. And that people on ALL points of that curve have valid bodies, and can lead valid lives.

6) Don't ascribe ANY qualities to someone based on their weight. A fat person MIGHT be, but generally is not, any jollier, easier, dumber, dirtier, sweatier, clumsier or uglier than a thin person. Everyone's an individual, ok? And if you open your eyes and really SEE the person, you'll learn the truth of that.


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## sunnie1653 (Feb 25, 2008)

That look that people give you.. that "I feel really sorry for you" look.

That just f'king irritates the hell out of me.

That and us fat people, especially me, HATE when you just stare at us like we're freaks of nature.


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## tink977 (Feb 25, 2008)

I wish they knew that its wrong to assume I am single because I am fat. I am single, but I know that you assume it when you look at me and are secretly shocked when a fat person says they have a date or a fat girl says they are getting married. There is one woman at work that is always in complete and total shcok when she sees a fat bride! WTF? And she thinks its okay to express those thoughts to me. HELLO!!! I'm fat too!!!! Should I never consider marriage as a possibility?


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 25, 2008)

Rebecca said:


> I dislike this too, but I'm getting used to it.
> 
> Recently, I got a PM here that kind of said the opposite:
> 
> ...



Funny that you mention this because I recently got a PM from a guy. It was about my ass actually....about my ass NOT being fat...and I had said it was :blink: (I had posted a pic of it, too  )

He seemed a little...angry?...disappointed?....put out? 

He has said some really nice things to me before that....but I was kind of shocked at this last PM. Holy fuck.....


Oh and my ass is PLENTY fat out in the rest of the world - you can bet money on that


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## Just_Jen (Feb 25, 2008)

there have been some reaaaaaaally good replies on here! such interesting reading


i wish people knew that just because im fat doesnt mean that im easy! it's like they think we dont get interest from anyone else so i should be jumping for joy that someone wants to jump my bones..when really, id rather jump on you til you die with an attitude like that 

i also wish that certain people (or my mother) would realise that it's good for a fat person to love their body, just because you might not think we're the bees knees, someone out there does and so should we. it's good to post naked photos, the comments of shock probably wouldnt be so bad if i was a hundred pounds lighter! 'cause it's soo bad to have confidence..

i too wish people would stop making me feel like a freak when i go to a fast food place, it doesnt mean i eat there every damn day, i just like a treat sometimes! i especially think people should stop pitying me when i eat, i love my food, i need to eat and it's not necessarily going to go straight to my hips, and if it does then so what? all the better to knock you out with


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## TallFatSue (Mar 1, 2008)

ashmamma84 said:


> I'm not always hungry, I don't eat at a trough...other things in life are important too.


Yeah, it really bugs the heck out of me when people assume that I must sit around and eat HoHos and Twinkies all day. First of all, I don't like junk food and it's been many a year since I last engulfed a Twinkie. My fat is made of only the finest ingredients, ya know. Second, I'm a very active woman with a lot going on in my life.

Something else that bugs me is when people project their own assumptions onto a situation when it's clearly not the case. I was checking to see when one of my favorite author's next book is coming out, and I found this annoying review of her last book. Make me wonder if this reviewer really read the book, because I don't know how the notion entered her head that the heroine devours junk food all the time! Nor do I think the author makes a big deal about her weight -- it's there, and life goes on. Oh, maybe that's the problem: the fat woman has a life. Then I saw that all the other books this particular reviewer reviewed were diet or exercise books, so I consider the source (diet police?). Heaven forbid that a lead character be depicted as a fat woman with a realistic outlook and a happy fulfilling life, kinda like more than a few of us. 

Murder of a Botoxed Blonde (Scumble River Mysteries, Book 9) (Paperback) by Denise Swanson (Author)
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0451221419/?tag=skimlinks_replacement-20


> I don't have a problem with the fact that she's overweight, but I am offended by the author's complete mockery of good nutrition here (For example: our heroine sneaks a bunch of junk food into the spa late at night, assumes that her overweight student's bad mood is being caused by low blood sugar, then proceeds to give her a bag of potato chips to devour.) And you'll only find three different diet scenarios for the women in these stories: 1) Women who starve themselves to be "waifs" 2) A "lucky" few women who can eat whatever they want (and it usually ends up being garbage like candy bars) and never gain weight 3) Women who have decided not to "starve" themselves and are "cursed" with being overweight because of it. I don't suppose it would be possible to have a character who eats nutritious food, exercises regularly, and has a normal BMI?


Yeah I know it's only a book review, but it's yet another example of that misguided assumption that fat = constantly devouring junk food. 



TallFatSue said:


> I was checking to see when one of my favorite author's next book is coming out


PS. I see her next book comes out next month. Neat title! Mmm, chocolate. :eat2:

Denise Swanson: _Murder of a Chocolate-Covered Cherry_
http://www.DeniseSwanson.com


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## BeaBea (Mar 2, 2008)

I wish 'they' knew that when a large person is feeling seriously ill and presents themselves to the Medical professions for help it is NOT the moment to bring up drastic weightloss. 

Seriously, if you could just deal with MY health concerns first then I'd be more than happy to discuss all of YOUR concerns afterwards. Only I wont be lying on a too small hospital trolley in a too small paper gown feeling insecure and ill. I'll be dressed up, made up, and right in your face over all the stupid bigotted remarks and spurious statistics that you're throwing around. 

Thanks awfully


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## Jon Blaze (Mar 2, 2008)

Jon Blaze said:


> This is correct.
> 
> The lack of rational is my problem with it. If one truly wanted to help them, and there was no barring on aesthetic, then they wouldn't come with a concerned or negative tone: They would be straight, but respectful, and not dismiss any claims against them as "Conspiracy."
> 
> ...


*Rationale*


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## DdeelishUK (Mar 3, 2008)

Yes the point I also have been trying to make to guys AnnMarie - at 42 i feel I don't want just sex - lacking in emotion and feeling - just a wham bam

I want affection - I want caressing - cuddling - care and thought - tenderness - as well as the sex - and emailing me to tell me 'my todger is rock hard and I wanna shag you all night' DOESN'T score brownie points with me and is actually a turn-off LOL

Guys would be surprised at just how many women feel the way you and I do - I bet its the majority rather than the minority

The other gripe I have (OMG I am on a roll now!) is contact thru the internet - I just had a guy on MySpace get very antsy with me because I would not exchange phone numbers with him so we could meet - this man had - despite my request - steadfastedlyr efused to chat a little by email so we could gain backgrounds on each other and make a decision whether this was a person we would like to meet - so because I said no not yet - he sent me a couple of bitter emails - sorry hunny but you just completely made me back of then - getting bitter with me because I want to maake sure the meeting when or if it happens is a little safer - as only it can be thru the internet - obviously means you don't really give a fig or any respect for my feelings 

(Sit downs with a hummpph - speech over for now)


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 3, 2008)

DdeelishUK said:


> The other gripe I have (OMG I am on a roll now!) is contact thru the internet - I just had a guy on MySpace get very antsy with me because I would not exchange phone numbers with him so we could meet - this man had - despite my request - steadfastly refused to chat a little by email so we could gain backgrounds on each other and make a decision whether this was a person we would like to meet - *so because I said no not yet - he sent me a couple of bitter emails - sorry hunny but you just completely made me back of then - getting bitter with me because I want to maake sure the meeting when or if it happens is a little safer - as only it can be thru the internet - obviously means you don't really give a fig or any respect for my feelings
> *
> (Sit downs with a hummpph - speech over for now)



He sounds like a spoiled child....that's pretty much all you need to know

God, it's always so wonderful to chat with a GROWN man from time to time (by grown, I mean maturity, not age)


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## Heavy_Cream (Mar 8, 2008)

Paul said:


> This question is primarily for those who are fat, those who are just a few pounds to several hundreds of pounds fat.
> 
> Is there anything you wished that the society knew about about persons who are fat? Is there anything that annoys you by the way society views people who are fat?



---Like everyone else, I wish people would choose not to comment on the sizes of other people.


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## sweet&fat (Mar 8, 2008)

That being fat doesn't make you colorblind or any less appreciative of nice fabrics, great cuts in clothing, and nice detail work.


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## Just_Jen (Mar 9, 2008)

sweet&fat said:


> That being fat doesn't make you colorblind or any less appreciative of nice fabrics, great cuts in clothing, and nice detail work.



darn straight! in the UK i dont think plus size clothes shop have realised that so much! 
i end up showing the love of clothes by using my thin friend as a dress up doll


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## CheerfulAdmirer (Mar 9, 2008)

DdeelishUK said:


> Yes the point I also have been trying to make to guys AnnMarie - at 42 i feel I don't want just sex - lacking in emotion and feeling - just a wham bam
> 
> I want affection - I want caressing - cuddling - care and thought - tenderness - as well as the sex - and emailing me to tell me 'my todger is rock hard and I wanna shag you all night' DOESN'T score brownie points with me and is actually a turn-off LOL
> 
> ...


While this appears as a reply to DdeelishUK's message, it agrees also with comments made by a few others here, too...but with a difference. I'm male, a bbw admirer, and don't like hearing that some others approach the bbws here with crude, critical or exploitative comments. As several have commented here, those who want your phone number, pictures, profess love at first IM, or who say you'd be beautiful if only you lost (or gained) a few stones have no interest in you as a person....they just want to use or abuse the container they see.

The relationships worth cultivating are ones that take time, are based on mutual trust, are built on emotional commitment, and grow through tender warmth and togetherness. I think most of the women here relaize that, and you're doing all of us a big favor by standing up for those qualities in the relationships you seek, for they're the same ones that make a relationship so special for many men.

The bbws here don't need to lose or gain, change their hair, freshen their make-up, wear smarter clothes or try to fit into thin society in order to be beautiful. They just have to be themselves and let the world see the beauty there that's inside as well as outside.

Thanks to Ddeelishuk, Just Jen and others for inspiring my first post here.


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## Kajun Kat (Mar 9, 2008)

I laugh when people call me fat in anger, and I often ask if that's the best they can do, like oh my never heard that before. 

In Mississippi some politicians are trying to pass a law making it illegal to serve obese people in restaurants... hows that for civil rights.

I wish people would realize that we are all human, we all have feelings big and small. Don't judge me on the outside, talk to me, let me show you that I am capable of just about everything you are, except maybe getting into a size 2.

I am intelligent (for the most part ) and I'm a good person.

I am Cajun, and we cook A LOT! Every Sunday is like Christmas LOL.


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## tonynyc (Mar 10, 2008)

There are plenty of confident men such as myself that love and adore BBWs/SSBBWs. and not to believe that media crap that is presented on some of those MTV reality shows.


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## hossbabyjr (Mar 18, 2008)

i'm big, i get it.



i don't need to be told i was born with a spare tank/keg/whatever...i know i have a gut, whoop-te-do

yea, so what if i don't wear the latest in casual fashions. who said i wanted to drop $300 at the mall for clothes?

yes, i love food...i love to cook, i love to grill, etc. doesn't mean i'm always fillin my face

i'd like to think that i am what i am, so be it.


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## Paquito (Mar 18, 2008)

I wish people would realize:

-that I actually like my body this way *gasps heard across the world*

-that I don't spend every waking hour stuffing my face (just most of them )

-that I don't blame other things, like genes and glandular issues, for my weight. I know I'm fat because of my lifestyle, but I'm fine with that.

-that I'm not a lazy slob

-that throwing the latest fad diets and exercise plans in my face to "help me" are NOT appreciated

-that, like Buddha, rubbing my belly brings you luck!


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## amber83 (Mar 19, 2008)

Things I wish others knew:

1. I'm never going to be petite. I am 5'10" and don't think "hopping your ass on the treadmill" once is going to magically make my ass disappear.

2. I like said ass - go grab your girlfriend's and you'll get a bone shard through the hand. But grab mine? You'll wish I would date you.

3. I would last longer in a famine than you would.

4. I am not ugly because I am fat; stop equating beauty to waist size. 

5. I don't put on a feedbag to eat; please, stop waiting for it to happen by staring at me while I am trying to have a civilized meal. 

6. I have a great job! Contrary to popular belief I don't sit on my floor in the midst of wrappers, food and the like all day, everyday. 

7. I am a human being, thus, I feel. I feel your stares, your snickers and your comments. 

8. I have hopes and dreams and they are not for extra portions of food. Try talking to me - I might share them. 

9. As shocking as this one is, I do realize I am a big woman. I don't need to be told. No, really, I don't! And I don't need to be compared to bovinae, fridges, houses, et al. 

10. And just for kicks? When the zombies attack - my fat ass will keep me alive until they keel over. So bite me.


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## Paquito (Mar 19, 2008)

-I don't have a tent pitched outside the closest fast-food place in anticipation for its opening

-Just be cause I am of the larger size, does not mean I am content with the limited choices in my current and future clothing:shapeless and monochromatic=not my thing, lets get some good plus size clothes out there

-don't treat me like the plague with that withering "poor you, I feel bad that you're fat....." No you don't, its your mental well-being you are concerned with, not my health. The only thing that should be treated like the plague is YOUR personality.

-The looks of contempt when I get seconds/thirds and then order dessert are really not needed, I'm not some dumb animal that doesn't understand how my eating affects me, but who said I cared?

-Fat doesn't equal self-hating, ugliness, or I'm automatically a lesser being to you and your bony ass. Please get off your diet pedestals and realize I like me this way, and I still have good traits and a good life.


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## Just_Jen (Mar 19, 2008)

i wish people wouldnt avoid sitting next to me on a bus, even when it's full. i wont eat you alive or pass on a fat virus just because you sit next to me?

however sometimes i wish other fat people would realise that if there are other seats available on a bus sit there and not next to me because two plusses do not make a minus on british bus seats, they make uncomfortable travelling..


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## mszwebs (Mar 19, 2008)

Just_Jen said:


> i wish people wouldnt avoid sitting next to me on a bus, even when it's full. i wont eat you alive or pass on a fat virus just because you sit next to me?
> 
> however sometimes i wish other fat people would realise that if there are other seats available on a bus sit there and not next to me because two plusses do not make a minus on british bus seats, they make uncomfortable travelling..



lol... Jen, I'm going to find ya and sit all up on ya


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## cute_obese_girl (Mar 19, 2008)

I wish people understood:

-I am not fat because I'm unhappy
-I not unhappy because I'm fat


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## amber83 (Mar 19, 2008)

Just_Jen said:


> i wish people wouldnt avoid sitting next to me on a bus, even when it's full. i wont eat you alive or pass on a fat virus just because you sit next to me?
> 
> however sometimes i wish other fat people would realise that if there are other seats available on a bus sit there and not next to me because two plusses do not make a minus on british bus seats, they make uncomfortable travelling..



I know how this one feels!


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 19, 2008)

I'm kinda OCD myself...among other little oddities. I hate crowds....and being in crowds. It would make my day if people DID go out of their way NOT to sit next to me. 

OMG....have I mentioned how ANGRY I can get sitting in a movie theatre and people sit next to us/me.....or ~EGADS!!~ dare to sit In Front Of....ME!!!!! 

I consider someone blessed if they have enough space without being crowded by strangers


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## Just_Jen (Mar 19, 2008)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I'm kinda OCD myself...among other little oddities. I hate crowds....and being in crowds. It would make my day if people DID go out of their way NOT to sit next to me.
> 
> OMG....have I mentioned how ANGRY I can get sitting in a movie theatre and people sit next to us/me.....or ~EGADS!!~ dare to sit In Front Of....ME!!!!!
> 
> I consider someone blessed if they have enough space without being crowded by strangers



aww bless you! i just get really embarrassed on the work time buses when people are stood up and the only seat available is next to me yet no one will sit there, i mean how stupid would i look! 

i know what yu mean about cinema though! the other day i went to the cinema and there was about 6 people in the whole place and two people came in and sat in front of me. i mean how fricken rude!!


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## Kajun Kat (Mar 21, 2008)

I would stretch out, put my legs up and enjoy my ride home LOL

Screw those people, I'd sit by you and probably start a conversation 

Oh wait you don't want me to sit with you because I have a fat bum too LOL, ok so I'd stand by you and at least treat you like a person


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## sweet&fat (Mar 21, 2008)

Just_Jen said:


> aww bless you! i just get really embarrassed on the work time buses when people are stood up and the only seat available is next to me yet no one will sit there, i mean how stupid would i look!



I've experienced this on the subway here in NYC as well, even in the "new" trains that are extra-roomy for ample american asses. However, given the premium on space during rush hour, people have then braved it and I've seen how surprised they are when they actually fit! Perhaps they have poor depth perception.


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## Just_Jen (Mar 21, 2008)

Kajun Kat said:


> Screw those people, I'd sit by you and probably start a conversation
> 
> Oh wait you don't want me to sit with you because I have a fat bum too LOL, ok so I'd stand by you and at least treat you like a person



heheh you could sit, i dont mind friendly people to sit! 
the woman that sat next to me the other day was giving me evils because she couldnt fit on the seat :\

*Sweet & Fat -* you have bigger trains, thats cool! our bus seats are pretty small i think! haha id be suprised at being able to fit on a seat with another big bumbum!


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## ThikJerseyChik (Mar 22, 2008)

Keb said:


> I wish people would understand:
> 
> I'm not stupid, just because I'm fat. I've got a BA, I read Shakespeare for pleasure, I know calculus, I've taught English, and I can program a computer. I've even been published. I was in all the smart classes as a student, and did well in them. I may not be a genius, but I'm not stupid, and I'm creative as a bonus feature. If I had to say "What?" one too many times for your liking, it's because I'm hearing impaired, which has nothing to do with my weight or intelligence.
> 
> ...



Amen sister! You said a MOUTH full!!!


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## ThikJerseyChik (Mar 22, 2008)

Just_Jen said:


> aww bless you! i just get really embarrassed on the work time buses when people are stood up and the only seat available is next to me yet no one will sit there, i mean how stupid would i look!
> 
> i know what yu mean about cinema though! the other day i went to the cinema and there was about 6 people in the whole place and two people came in and sat in front of me. i mean how fricken rude!!



OMG ya mean I am OCD???????????????????????????????  

We just went to see "Fools Gold" on Sunday, there were 7 of us in the entire movie theater....and not only did some weirdo come and sit RIGHT next to us...but an older couple staggered in right in the middle of the first few minutes of the show and sat directly in front of us...took them about 10 minutes to get settled "pop, move over, your elbow is poking me, stop whispering, everyone can HEAR YOU" I wanted to kick the seat...how exasperating....WE got up and moved! :doh:


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## Just_Jen (Mar 22, 2008)

ThikJerseyChik said:


> OMG ya mean I am OCD???????????????????????????????
> 
> We just went to see "Fools Gold" on Sunday, there were 7 of us in the entire movie theater....and not only did some weirdo come and sit RIGHT next to us...but an older couple staggered in right in the middle of the first few minutes of the show and sat directly in front of us...took them about 10 minutes to get settled "pop, move over, your elbow is poking me, stop whispering, everyone can HEAR YOU" I wanted to kick the seat...how exasperating....WE got up and moved! :doh:



hahaha im suprised you didnt hit them with your bag or something! 

when it happened to me i had the best seats in the place and had made myself a sofa (lifted all the arms up ) and i sooo wasnt moving one muscle in my fat ass!! haha  go you for taking the incentive and moving! i just sat and moaned about them haha


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## Colonial Warrior (Sep 24, 2019)

DdeelishUK said:


> I wish men wouldn't come up to me and say ... quote:
> 
> "I think your amazing - your beautiful and your personality shines BUT I have this issue with you being fat. If you lost 5 (10) stone I would date you in an instant!"
> 
> ...


Very Nice response!


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## Colonial Warrior (Sep 24, 2019)

We the fat people have the same professional capabilities and the same will for as thin people!


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## John Smith (Sep 24, 2019)

Paul said:


> This question is primarily for those who are fat, those who are just a few pounds to several hundreds of pounds fat.
> 
> Is there anything you wished that the society knew about about persons who are fat? Is there anything that annoys you by the way society views people who are fat?



I'm not into this category but:

1 - Stop bullying bigger children jusy because of their size.

2 - Unless you undertake some kidney transplant and that the giver used to be an overweight person with some severe eating binge issues, obesity is not a contagious... matter-of-factly, that is not even an ailment whatsoever. Stop treating people fitting into such range of size as if they were leperous. If you'd post-Flower Power arse had learnt how to not treat both VIH-stricken and neuroatypical people like subhumans, you can certainly does for bigger people as well.

3 - If your entire prejudices about bigger people are based upon Disney animated movies (let alone Disney movies all short, seems how they treated Thor and StarLord in their latest bestselling Marvel flops) , tabloid magazines, Aryan-looking dolls, high-school Alpha B***es dolls and social medias, then perhaps you should consult a therapeutist.
Sincerely, do it. That's not healthy.

4 - Stop quoting XTina or pre-2009 Rihanna or (even more bonier) 2015-era Rihanna as models of extreme thinness to follow, we're in the brim of the New Twenties for Bast's sake! Even XTina gets XXLTina at some point and if that foolish manager of hers hadn't publically threatened to ruin her career, she would be the first (alleged) high-skit gainer in the showbizz game today.

5 - Leave your seat to the nearby morbidly obese person while being in a public transport vehicle... except if he/she's a jerk. I am never kind with jerks.

6 - Hush, Bill Maher. We don't care about your opinion, your poor aging devil.

7 - Remember: these young female feedees are oftentimes the most insecure, emotionally stunted people in the game... even when they confidently claim everything is okay, _nothing is okay_.

8 - Hush, Azealia Banks. You're not skinny anyway and has going to get fat very soon, then stop hollering out about Rihanna's size.

9 - Just let people being themselves (unless they're Kevin Spacey, Bill Cosby or Donald Trump) .


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## Shotha (Sep 25, 2019)

I know what I wish people who work in B&T stores and other stores that stock menswear in larger size knew about fat people. I wish they knew that we want the same sort of clothes that everyone else can buy. I don't like being told, "Yes, sir, we have that in your size and in three nice slimming colours: black, navy blue and bottle green." I don't want to look slim, because it's not what I am, I'm happy being fat and I manage to get dates without looking slim. It particularly annoys me to be offered nice slimming colours by sales assistants in B&T stores.


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## Marshmallow Minotaur (Nov 15, 2019)

James said:


> ... a wide-spread ...



I see wut you did there.


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## Marshmallow Minotaur (Nov 15, 2019)

I can’t add much more other than to say I wish people wouldn’t think I don’t like myself. I like myself very much. I’m not on a self-destructive mission, or have a death wish. I finally discovered myself, and that is being a fat man who finds himself sexy and wants to get fatter. It’s my choice to not fight my body. It wants to be fat. Fortunately, as I’m getting older I’m surrounded by mostly overweight people. Getting older and fatter seem to go hand in hand.


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## DazzlingAnna (Dec 5, 2019)

I wish they would know that...

I don't want to talk about being fat as a kind of disease that I could easily change if I only want to and try hard enough. And been offered support on that after mentioning that is none of their business. 
"But I care about your health" - well, my health is still none of your business. 

I feel insulted when I tell what happens to me when I am out as a fat woman on streets or wherever I am and they don't believe or give me a feeling it could be made up by me.

it is the truth. They yell at me, they say very insulting things, and yes, there are people out in this world they have spat on me, just bc i am fat - spat even right in my face. Happened 15 years ago but I still can remember what I felt back then. 
And when I talk about this occasion and someone shows as reaction that this might have been made up - I regret telling right away even if people should know that it happens.
They have no idea.


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## Shotha (Dec 5, 2019)

I wish that they knew that fat is part of who and what I am. So, that's where the discussion about me losing weight is going to end.


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