# We Don't Need An Excuse!



## wrestlingguy (Oct 28, 2013)

A new tumblr site has started in response to the photo that recently went viral from fitness "expert" and mother of 3 Maria Kang. In case you missed it, here's the photo in question:







Most in fat activism took the underlying message to mean that there's never an excuse to be fat, and reacted accordingly. Ms Kang, who has received considerable publicity over the picture (another person making money off of fat people) even appeared on ABC's Good Morning America Show. After considerable criticism, however, she published a half hearted "apology" on her Facebook & personal web pages. Here's what she said:



> I've been getting an influx of new followers, emails and comments (on my profile pic) recently. Some saying I'm a bully, I'm fat-shaming and I need to apologize for the hurt I've caused women. I get it. SO here's my First and Final Apology:
> 
> I'm sorry you took an image and resonated with it in such a negative way. I won't go into details that I struggled with my genetics, had an eating disorder, work full time owning two business', have no nanny, am not naturally skinny and do not work as a personal trainer. I won't even mention how I didn't give into cravings for ice cream, french fries or chocolate while pregnant or use my growing belly as an excuse to be inactive.
> 
> ...



So, this tumblr site is called "We Don't Need An Excuse", and has some great pics of some incredible people who post their "excuses" to the world. Here are just a few of them.





















Please check it out if you haven't seen this yet.


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## loopytheone (Oct 29, 2013)

I dunno, I took her message as being 'I am fit and healthy' rather than 'I am skinny' but I can see why some people took it that way. 

But yeah, I, and everybody else in the world, don't need an excuse for being the way I naturally am. My excuse? I'm badass and if you don't like it, suck it.

...come to think of it, I feel sorry for those children who are going to cringe in several years time at being photographed with their half naked mother.


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## wrestlingguy (Oct 29, 2013)

I don't begrudge anyone who works towards being healthy.

I do take issue with someone who makes the assumption that just because they can do that, that it can be applied universally to every person with every body type.

Our genetics are all different, we are all affected by our environment, and what might be relatively simple for one person might not work for another. That assumption that "everyone can do it" has an underlying message that if you can't, the problem is with YOU, rather than the other things that contribute to obesity. It also makes the assumption that all fat people are unhealthy, which is another falsehood.

I'm not saying that we should not all strive to be healthy, I think we simply need to work towards being as healthy as we can be individually, without anyone making snap judgments simply by looking at a person. I believe that as a society, we've put too much emphasis on a visual "ideal" that most can't meet, resulting in frustration, and in some cases depression, when the alternative of personal development of one's person (that which makes us "who" we are) is where the emphasis should really be in our world today.


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## FatAndProud (Oct 29, 2013)

Imagine if the body types were reversed in that photo/message...A fat woman in an elegant/flowing dress surrounded by a picnic smörgåsbord, art, culture, happy people (including children) on a beautiful, breezy Spring day under a willow tree. What would your message be, then? 

I like to imagine those instances, sometimes. You may say I'm a dreamer....but I'm not the only one. Someday, you will join us and the world will live as one


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## BigCutieLaurel (Oct 29, 2013)

What I don't like about this particular message is that it implies that I need to justify my body. That I need to explain away my fat. Fuck. That. 

It's not surprising though. This is how the world in general views fat. It's almost impossible for a lot of people to believe that a fat person could be completely happy and at peace with the way they are.


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## spookytwigg (Oct 29, 2013)

Tahlia said:


> What I don't like about this particular message is that it implies that I need to justify my body. That I need to explain away my fat. Fuck. That.
> 
> It's not surprising though. This is how the world in general views fat. It's almost impossible for a lot of people to believe that a fat person could be completely happy and at peace with the way they are.



Yep, I totally agree with that. The idea that we should all automatically be striving towards one single ideal is just weird, there shouldn't be pressure put on to get to some universal ideal.

Advice for doing it is all good, people cab take or leave the advice. But just saying "what's your excuse" doesn't seem much like a useful tip to me.


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## Shosh (Oct 29, 2013)

loopytheone said:


> I dunno, I took her message as being 'I am fit and healthy' rather than 'I am skinny' but I can see why some people took it that way.
> 
> But yeah, I, and everybody else in the world, don't need an excuse for being the way I naturally am. My excuse? I'm badass and if you don't like it, suck it.
> 
> ...come to think of it, I feel sorry for those children who are going to cringe in several years time at being photographed with their half naked mother.



I took her message as being condescending, passive aggressive and judgemental.
If one wants to inspire others they lift them up, rather than drag them down.


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## superodalisque (Oct 29, 2013)

love the basic idea for this campaign! but we don't need any excuse for being fat, either for the public or ourselves. we don't need to explain apologize or have reasons and alibis. that is something we aren't quite getting yet with all of the talk of kids medicines ailments and being an opera singer. we still have a lot of work to do because we can't even let ourselves just be. until we can no one else will either. i don't think it was necessary to rebut her by referring t these hings. they aren't negated by the little statements after that the excuses and apologies don't matter. they've still been made. if it truly didn't matter it would have not been said. it still feels lime a need to make excuses on our side.


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## superodalisque (Oct 29, 2013)

Tahlia said:


> What I don't like about this particular message is that it implies that I need to justify my body. That I need to explain away my fat. Fuck. That.
> 
> It's not surprising though. This is how the world in general views fat. It's almost impossible for a lot of people to believe that a fat person could be completely happy and at peace with the way they are.



tried to rep you but it wouldn't let me


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## superodalisque (Oct 29, 2013)

i think her basic assumption is that i want to look like her--i don't


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## loopytheone (Oct 30, 2013)

Shosh said:


> I took her message as being condescending, passive aggressive and judgemental.
> If one wants to inspire others they lift them up, rather than drag them down.



And you will see in my message that I said I understand why some people took it that way. I am entitled to my own opinion on the article in hand even if you don't agree with me. 

True, true, but I personally don't see her as dragging anybody down, more providing inspiration that you can be fit too. I saw the original image as being more about health and fitness than body size. Admittedly some of the things she said afterwards show that this wasn't entirely the case, which is sad. Like I said, everybody is entitled to their own opinion and I can absolutely understand why some people got offended by it.


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## Shosh (Oct 30, 2013)

I can read people and intention very well. This is not about inspiring people in a positive manner, it is about being sanctimonious, and looking down at others.
This type of nastiness falls on deaf ears with me.

I will participate in activities that are fullfilling and surround myself with people that are uplifting.


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## loopytheone (Oct 30, 2013)

Shosh said:


> I can read people and intention very well. This is not about inspiring people in a positive manner, it is about being sanctimonious, and looking down at others.
> This type of nastiness falls on deaf ears with me.
> 
> I will participate in activities that are fullfilling and surround myself with people that are uplifting.



As can I. Like I said, you are welcome to interpret it in any way you like, as am I.


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## LillyBBBW (Oct 30, 2013)

The woman in the picture explained that her pic was addressed only to people who want to begin a healthy lifestyle. The problem is there are people doing exactly what she's doing and do not look this way because that is not genetically possible. Making certain body types to be synonymous with good/bad health taps into what essentially fuels eating disorders for so many young people out there. The woman should stop talking. It's a harmful message that has very little to do with health.


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## Tad (Oct 30, 2013)

The snarky-FA part of me looks at that picture, and says "OK, I guess keeping up with those kids doesn't give you much time to eat, so I guess that is your excuse for being so boringly thin...."


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## superodalisque (Oct 30, 2013)

loopytheone said:


> And you will see in my message that I said I understand why some people took it that way. I am entitled to my own opinion on the article in hand even if you don't agree with me.
> 
> True, true, but I personally don't see her as dragging anybody down, more providing inspiration that you can be fit too. I saw the original image as being more about health and fitness than body size. Admittedly some of the things she said afterwards show that this wasn't entirely the case, which is sad. Like I said, everybody is entitled to their own opinion and I can absolutely understand why some people got offended by it.



i don't feel it should drag us down either. i could personally care less what she thinks people should look like. if i saw that somewhere i wouldn't give it a second thought. i'm more concerned about how the people who responded to her in their pix still don't seem to really get it. i think it's great to be fit and thin if you personally want to be. that doesn't have to invalidate fat me. if people have being thin as their goal it's not hurting anybody. it is kinda sad though that people take it so personally just because some people do want to be thin. that is their right. if it actually makes us feel bad about ourselves then it might be an issue inside of us we want to look at. why are we so defensive about our size if we don't already feel somehow wrong? like they say, nobody can make us feel anything about ourselves that we don't already think somewhere deep down. i think we need to work more on not feeling wrong within ourselves. 

let me throw out this question. if we had a fit SO who likes to jog and work out and look fit and brags about it does it insult us? do we get mad if they have a club with friends and they try to encourage each other and talk smack about how big their biceps are and how much they've slimmed down and poke their abs out and scream"no excuses". i bet we don't. do we get mad if their personal trainer gives them incentives? does any of that make us feel bad? i bet it doesn't. 

i think some of the bad feeling comes from the female competition aspect. women need to stop trying to compete with each other like that because there is no competition. each and every one of us is a winner whether we are fat or thin or anything along that continuum. maybe we do need to stop taking anything another woman says into ourselves as a personal judgement. and even if it is a personal judgement,does it really help us all that much if we give a damn. why not put out our own propaganda about enjoying being fat, loving what we look like and having what we like instead. all of that self denial isn't attractive to people anyway. that's why it doesn't work. i know i personally want my cake AND icecream AND i want to eat it too. when i think about it, it would have been more fun and engaging if the responses were happy and joyous but mainly they seem pretty whiny and not full of win.


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## superodalisque (Oct 30, 2013)

FatAndProud said:


> Imagine if the body types were reversed in that photo/message...A fat woman in an elegant/flowing dress surrounded by a picnic smörgåsbord, art, culture, happy people (including children) on a beautiful, breezy Spring day under a willow tree. What would your message be, then?
> 
> I like to imagine those instances, sometimes. You may say I'm a dreamer....but I'm not the only one. Someday, you will join us and the world will live as one



nope you aren't the only one


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## superodalisque (Oct 30, 2013)

i would have loved to have seen a comeback like: 

i eat. i relax. i love. i enjoy living. even if i do die early at least i'll die happy --no excuses.


deny yourself, be a slave to exercise and still get hit by a bus or get cancer.


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## moore2me (Oct 30, 2013)

*I do not know Ms X -why would I have an excuse for her? But after reading her tirade, I have some high praise for another mother of 3 - my mom.*

I am glad that Ms X looks good (make that great) after 3 babies. We three kids took a bigger toll on my mom's body. I guess those are Ms, X'S natural kids??? Mom had to work 8 hours then come home and feed the kids, do chores, laundry, dishes, clean house, and handle kids. (Dad worked longer hours & commuted) When we were older, he helped and made sure homework was done and played with we three kids in the evening.) In good weather he drug us outside to work in the yard, learn to play soft ball, play organized sports, or do other things to build up character. He made sure the boys were bathed and read to them at bed time. Mom handled me. Dad would read to me and help me with homework.

Neither one of these two adults had 10 minutes to themselves during a workday. Going to a gym and working out or jogging for 30 min with three kids at home would be absurd - and we would have probably burned the house down while parental supervision was gone. And after mom nursed three babies there was no way her breasts would fit in that little sports bra and most moms would be nursing 2 kid were still nursing at the ages of the boys pictured in that publicity shot.

*I do have a little piece of advice (or a forewarning) for mothers like Ms X. *You are pictured with three little boys. Your little letter to other women is rather aloof and does not show much spirit of compassion. You will likely need these traits in the upcoming varied and complex lives of your children. I suggest you work on your human skills.


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## tonynyc (Oct 31, 2013)

Just another publicity stunt 

As far as Ms. X - she's a fitness competitor - this is her job (she's suppose to be at the gym for long workouts- special diets etc.) The manner in which she's trying to promote her website /cause etc. is a poor one...

There have been numerous stories and articles about how unhealthy some aspects of the bodybuilding/fitness culture can be .. this is just an excerpt from

I Steriods Forum 


==========================================

The Truth
The finely-tuned physiques you see displayed in the fitness magazines are ladies in peak condition. Peaking is a temporary condition in which the body fat is reduced to very low levels, often times dangerous levels, so the muscle detail is predominantly visible. *Most ladies in peaked condition are anywhere from 8-10% body fat, sometimes lower*. The peaking process involves specific training and dieting methods, and is usually done for physique shows and photo shoots. In addition, a peaked physique is a severely dehydrated physique, posing health risks.


=======================================


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## FatAndProud (Oct 31, 2013)

I wish someone with good photoshop skills would take my belly and airbrush abs onto the pic. Lol


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## Extinctor100 (Oct 31, 2013)

Three kids and a socially-correct body, but no significant other...?

What's her excuse?


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## FatAndProud (Oct 31, 2013)

And put three EMPTY deep dish pizzas in front of me with a sad face and say "What's your excuse?" This is not really affecting me. I'm fat - so?  


FatAndProud said:


> I wish someone with good photoshop skills would take my belly and airbrush abs onto the pic. Lol


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## Shosh (Oct 31, 2013)

loopytheone said:


> As can I. Like I said, you are welcome to interpret it in any way you like, as am I.



Certainly.
And when you have the benefit of being as old as I am or having dealt with these kind of assholes for as long as I have, then I will take what you have to say into consideration.
These rabid " Fitness guru" types are about denigrating big people, and being venomous towards them. Make no mistake.


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## loopytheone (Oct 31, 2013)

Shosh said:


> Certainly.
> And when you have the benefit of being as old as I am or having dealt with these kind of assholes for as long as I have, then I will take what you have to say into consideration.
> These rabid " Fitness guru" types are about denigrating big people, and being venomous towards them. Make no mistake.



So my opinion is less valid than yours because I am younger? Uh-huh, makes perfect sense, that does. That is called ageism.

As for the 'fitness guru' types, I happen to have three close friends who were very much into health and fitness and athleticism. Two are male and both of them have an appreciation for larger women and one of them I found through a conversation about size acceptance. The third is a lady my age who enjoys showing off her very toned body and actually very much reminds me of the lady in the original image in terms of body composition and muscle tone. And whilst she idealises that body type she has never once had a bad thing to say about larger people and never once made me feel as though I or anyone else should look like her. In fact, she was one of the people who taught me to appreciate my fuller body as I gained about 50lbs over the course of a few years. 

So yeah, some people are jerks. Some people enjoy putting other people down. But I don't think that discriminating against everybody who has a toned body and is into fitness is any better than discriminating against all fat people or all skinny people. But hey, I'm only 23 so what do I know, right?


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## LillyBBBW (Oct 31, 2013)

tonynyc said:


> Just another publicity stunt
> 
> As far as Ms. X - she's a fitness competitor - this is her job (she's suppose to be at the gym for long workouts- special diets etc.) The manner in which she's trying to promote her website /cause etc. is a poor one...
> 
> ...



Agreed. I find things like this to be somewhat dishonest. Most trainers know that exercise will most likely be good either way but it will not be the same for everyone. They know this through the training they get but also through their experience if they have any. Also the laws have changed in the way that companies can promote their fitness/weight loss programs. In the recent past they were required by law to put "Results Not Typical" on any ads that present an airbrushed body as proof their system/program works. Now it's gone even further where they are now required to present some real expectations for potential clients. They want companies to present some actual expectations for people who enter their programs and grounds to sue if they don't get it. I only have a vague memory of what the rules entail now but it would appear misleading ads like Maria Kang's would be a no no. Might be different for her I guess because she's not a corporate entity? She gets away with this.


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## AuntHen (Oct 31, 2013)

My question is this...

Why?
Women having six pack abs, guns like a marine and almost no body fat = the majorly accepted or desired female physique?

Does anyone else see something wrong with this picture?


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## FatAndProud (Oct 31, 2013)

Society's desired body has always followed the footsteps of the social elite. 

1900s and before (generalizing, here) - fat women were desired and sought after because they represented fertility, femininity, luxury, and social status because you could afford to be fat.

1970s to now - thin women are desired because it takes money to buy healthy food, it takes money to afford good nutritionists and experts, it takes money to get certain workout perks, and vanity costs lots of money. It's too easy to get fat, now


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## LillyBBBW (Oct 31, 2013)

fat9276 said:


> My question is this...
> 
> Why?
> Women having six pack abs, guns like a marine and almost no body fat = the majorly accepted or desired female physique?
> ...



I don't necessarily see anything wrong with that kind of body if it's what you've got to work with. I don't even see anything wrong with taking pride in your achievements and flexing for the camera. It's all good but as they say, the grass can always appear greener somewhere else. My sister in law trains for marathons and Maria Kang at her best is fat compared to her so it's all subject to interpretation. I'd just wonder what how Maria would interpret it if my SIL posed the same kind of pejorative photo at her. I think all bodies are good bodies and it wouldn't be right for anybody to say Nya Nya, my milkshake is better than yours unless you're Kelis. Or me. I make good milkshakes. Betta than yours.


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## Tad (Oct 31, 2013)

fat9276 said:


> My question is this...
> 
> Why?
> Women having six pack abs, guns like a marine and almost no body fat = the majorly accepted or desired female physique?
> ...



If being in shape is good, clearly being more in shape is better, and the person who is in the bestest shape of all is the bestest person there is!

(and fwiw, personally I suspect that women (and a small number of men who are in the business of selling to women) pressure other women in a lot of the extremes and details of appearance, in the name of one-upmanship, far more than some of that is driven by majorly accepted or desired female physique. Sure, guys might have prefered the paler skin of women who didn't have to labour outdoors over the weathered skin of those who did....but I'm pretty sure it was in the name of what guys (or other women) really four attractive that makeup whitened with lead and/or arsenic was used, to give a whiter-than-white complexion--that I'd attribute to the desire to stand out as the 'best' (fairest of the fair, whatever phrase you prefer)


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## tonynyc (Oct 31, 2013)

fat9276 said:


> My question is this...
> 
> Why?
> Women having six pack abs, guns like a marine and almost no body fat = the majorly accepted or desired female physique?
> ...




*Well the message that is made is wrong on several levels - and in researching Ms. Kang's biography online - she has been a regional fitness/bodybuilding competitor-but, she is no where near the elite of the game if one were to compare physiques... *



LillyBBBW said:


> I don't necessarily see anything wrong with that kind of body if it's what you've got to work with. I don't even see anything wrong with taking pride in your achievements and flexing for the camera. It's all good but as they say, the grass can always appear greener somewhere else. My sister in law trains for marathons and Maria Kang at her best is fat compared to her so it's all subject to interpretation. I'd just wonder what how Maria would interpret it if my SIL posed the same kind of pejorative photo at her. I think all bodies are good bodies and it wouldn't be right for anybody to say Nya Nya, my milkshake is better than yours unless you're Kelis. Or me. I make good milkshakes. Betta than yours.




*Lilly : I agree and though she may be in some physical "shape" she is nowhere near this competitor "Ms. Nicole Wilkins" who won the Fitness Olympia last October- nor would Ms. Kang have qualified *

*Ms. Kang may have to rethink that "Excuse" phrase*









Tad said:


> If being in shape is good, clearly being more in shape is better, and the person who is in the bestest shape of all is the bestest person there is!
> 
> (and fwiw, personally I suspect that women (and a small number of men who are in the business of selling to women) pressure other women in a lot of the extremes and details of appearance, in the name of one-upmanship, far more than some of that is driven by majorly accepted or desired female physique. Sure, guys might have prefered the paler skin of women who didn't have to labour outdoors over the weathered skin of those who did....but I'm pretty sure it was in the name of what guys (or other women) really four attractive that makeup whitened with lead and/or arsenic was used, to give a whiter-than-white complexion--that I'd attribute to the desire to stand out as the 'best' (fairest of the fair, whatever phrase you prefer)



*
Tad: part yes and no- but, we have to also remember that Ms. Kang is in the bodybuilding/fitness industry and that is how it is....
*


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## tonynyc (Oct 31, 2013)

For anyone that is interested about the world of bodybuilding.

While I don't agree with the initial quote listed in the film- it does give a glimpse of what goes on (minus the bright lights that some of the other competitors show)

This is an interesting video by competitor Kai Greene on most of what goes on behind the scenes: it's all very repetitive at some point. And in terms of Ms. K's "message" you see behind the smoke and mirrors and see what goes on....

Kai Greene - Day in the Life


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## AuntHen (Oct 31, 2013)

For the record, I do not find anything wrong with having that kind of body... that wasn't my point.

I just find it funny (and not the haha kind) that everyone will praise that kind of body and put down a fat one. It took a lot of work to get this fat


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## superodalisque (Oct 31, 2013)

loopytheone said:


> So my opinion is less valid than yours because I am younger? Uh-huh, makes perfect sense, that does. That is called ageism.
> 
> As for the 'fitness guru' types, I happen to have three close friends who were very much into health and fitness and athleticism. Two are male and both of them have an appreciation for larger women and one of them I found through a conversation about size acceptance. The third is a lady my age who enjoys showing off her very toned body and actually very much reminds me of the lady in the original image in terms of body composition and muscle tone. And whilst she idealises that body type she has never once had a bad thing to say about larger people and never once made me feel as though I or anyone else should look like her. In fact, she was one of the people who taught me to appreciate my fuller body as I gained about 50lbs over the course of a few years.
> 
> So yeah, some people are jerks. Some people enjoy putting other people down. But I don't think that discriminating against everybody who has a toned body and is into fitness is any better than discriminating against all fat people or all skinny people. But hey, I'm only 23 so what do I know, right?



i have a good friend at work who is a teenie weenie lil blonde thing as tall as any model who loves working out and doesn't eat much at all. she would beat anybody down if they even looked like they were going to say anything about me needing to do anything. i have a couple of other friends at work who are also extremely thin too who are the same way. actually my blonde friend gets more flack than i do because she is skinny. last time we had a pot luck at work the H/R lady of all people was saying she needed to eat more. she is average sized. i had to speak up for my girl and say that she was pretty and some people had to be thin to balance a fat chick like me out and that we'd all be a big snore if we looked just alike. jerks come in all sizes. and you really can't say definitively if someone is into fitness that they are going to be a jerk to someone who is fat. i'm 50 btw


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## superodalisque (Oct 31, 2013)

FatAndProud said:


> Society's desired body has always followed the footsteps of the social elite.
> 
> 1900s and before (generalizing, here) - fat women were desired and sought after because they represented fertility, femininity, luxury, and social status because you could afford to be fat.
> 
> 1970s to now - thin women are desired because it takes money to buy healthy food, it takes money to afford good nutritionists and experts, it takes money to get certain workout perks, and vanity costs lots of money. It's too easy to get fat, now



you got it. as they always say--follow the money.


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## superodalisque (Oct 31, 2013)

fat9276 said:


> My question is this...
> 
> Why?
> Women having six pack abs, guns like a marine and almost no body fat = the majorly accepted or desired female physique?
> ...



i don't see anything "wrong" with the picture. but it got me thinking that

in her own way she is as much of an oddity as we might be to some people because she is bucking the system too.


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## AuntHen (Nov 1, 2013)

superodalisque said:


> i don't see anything "wrong" with the picture. but it got me thinking that
> 
> in her own way she is as much of an oddity as we might be to some people because she is bucking the system too.





Oddity since when? I feel that this body type has been pushed since the whole "feel the burn" revolution started, since women decided to wear shoulder pads and hide their hips and breasts and curves, since women felt that they had to *compete *with men. 

I think this is about hiding our differences with men more and more. That was the point I was trying to make.

However, you now have another type pushing itself to the forefront and that is plastic surgery. Younger looking, bigger boobs and lips, fake bums, hair extensions and what have you.


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## LillyBBBW (Nov 1, 2013)

fat9276 said:


> Oddity since when? I feel that this body type has been pushed since the whole "feel the burn" revolution started, since women decided to wear shoulder pads and hide their hips and breasts and curves, since women felt that they had to *compete *with men.
> 
> I think this is about hiding our differences with men more and more. That was the point I was trying to make.
> 
> However, you now have another type pushing itself to the forefront and that is plastic surgery. Younger looking, bigger boobs and lips, fake bums, hair extensions and what have you.



I tend to walk a thin line between being annoyed with unrealistic standards of beauty and health and not wanting to begrudge people for looking like this or wanting to. Being this age I know people who've gone under the knife and I'm not mad at them. Whatever they want to do is fine. I'm just not a fan of detractivism. That same picture, if the woman said she's "proud of what she achieved but it wasn't easy with three active young boys that demand her attention 24/7 so let me show you how to optimize your day and your workouts to get the you you've always knew you could be" I might be in to that. Being put down is never a good thing unless you're in to that sort of thing which is an entirely different line of work altogether imo.


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## AuntHen (Nov 1, 2013)

LillyBBBW said:


> I tend to walk a thin line between being annoyed with unrealistic standards of beauty and health and not wanting to begrudge people for looking like this or wanting to. Being this age I know people who've gone under the knife and I'm not mad at them. Whatever they want to do is fine. I'm just not a fan of detractivism. That same picture, if the woman said she's "proud of what she achieved but it wasn't easy with three active young boys that demand her attention 24/7 so let me show you how to optimize your day and your workouts to get the you you've always knew you could be" I might be in to that. Being put down is never a good thing unless you're in to that sort of thing which is an entirely different line of work altogether imo.




I agree Lilly... people can look how they want and be proud of it but when they try to push it on others and basically say that they are less than at the same time... no.


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## superodalisque (Nov 1, 2013)

fat9276 said:


> Oddity since when? I feel that this body type has been pushed since the whole "feel the burn" revolution started, since women decided to wear shoulder pads and hide their hips and breasts and curves, since women felt that they had to *compete *with men.
> 
> I think this is about hiding our differences with men more and more. That was the point I was trying to make.
> 
> However, you now have another type pushing itself to the forefront and that is plastic surgery. Younger looking, bigger boobs and lips, fake bums, hair extensions and what have you.



they've always told women to be thin but not necessarily strong and "fit". there is a big backlash against women who are body builders etc... because they appear "masculine". female athletes face a lot of discrimination. people like to question their womanhood because their strength is a challenge to a lot of men just like being bigger than a man scares and challenges a lot of them. hate and prejudice is fear generated.


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## superodalisque (Nov 1, 2013)

fat9276 said:


> I agree Lilly... people can look how they want and be proud of it but when they try to push it on others and basically say that they are less than at the same time... no.



the only reason she is trying to push it on people is because she is selling something. fitness/weight loss products depend on guilting people out. it has nothing to do with how the people who are selling it actually feel about fat folk. its more about how they can make us feel and how many units they can make us buy. how they can control us. they're playing a marketing mind game and we need to understand that instead of really thinking that they actually hate us. heck i know a lot of people who use the same or a worse kind of rhetoric and actually want a fat spouse or gf. they don't necessarily hate fat folk. they just love money most. 

what's sad to me is that no matter how many times anyone says so or how many stats there are showing that fat folk are living normal lives a lot of fat people still won't get it. it's a mind control trick and people are falling for it hook line and sinker. it's running the game on fat people. like an insecure woman in a bar who obsesses over guys who either don't want her or pretend not to want her. we have the same issues. why is it that so many women in particular gravitate towards people who tell them something is wrong with them instead of just concentrating on people who are positive toward them? sometimes we do act like media sucking borg. we really need to disconnect that crap from our brains.


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## DKnight00 (Nov 3, 2013)

superodalisque said:


> why is it that so many women in particular gravitate towards people who tell them something is wrong with them instead of just concentrating on people who are positive toward them? sometimes we do act like media sucking borg. we really need to disconnect that crap from our brains.



I think it starts from an early age, and just the general culture/misogyny in the media today. It's easier for males or females alike to attack a woman on her appearance, especially online with anonymity, rather than a male because the male generally speaking wouldn't care what people think of them. 

I remember putting this in another thread a while back, but from an early age, most guys generally want to see their sons grow to be a leader, strong, or if not necessarily those things, at least be successful in anything he does. I have rarely heard fathers saying "You'll never get a woman if you do this or that", but have heard multiple times from mothers, grandmothers, aunts etc tell their kids "you'll never get a man being as fat as you are" or "women dont play (any physical or video game here)" etc. I know there are exceptions to this, but I feel early on that plays a big factor into it. It affects women a lot more strongly because they were raised to heavily care what others think. 

Women fought for equality, but in many instances, because men feel they are superior, they will viciously harass women on harass, or face to face, while women within their own families will say hurtful things to their daughters, nieces etc. Women are paid less to do the same jobs as men are, or men may sometimes receive promotions quicker or higher bonuses in many companies.

Then parenting of course comes into play, but in the average family, you will see your schoolmates/co workers way more throughout a week than you do your own family. Schools let issues such as bullying run rampant, or sometimes the precious little time the parents have with their kids, they spend it doing something else rather than teaching life lessons or giving their kids the attention they may need to grow properly, being able to speak to each other with just about anything.

When you have kids younger than 10, nay kids in at all committing suicide, there has to be something wrong with the culture.


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## superodalisque (Nov 3, 2013)

DKnight00 said:


> I think it starts from an early age, and just the general culture/misogyny in the media today. It's easier for males or females alike to attack a woman on her appearance, especially online with anonymity, rather than a male because the male generally speaking wouldn't care what people think of them.
> 
> I remember putting this in another thread a while back, but from an early age, most guys generally want to see their sons grow to be a leader, strong, or if not necessarily those things, at least be successful in anything he does. I have rarely heard fathers saying "You'll never get a woman if you do this or that", but have heard multiple times from mothers, grandmothers, aunts etc tell their kids "you'll never get a man being as fat as you are" or "women dont play (any physical or video game here)" etc. I know there are exceptions to this, but I feel early on that plays a big factor into it. It affects women a lot more strongly because they were raised to heavily care what others think.
> 
> ...



there is definitely something wrong with the culture alright. we all complain about it but nobody seems to really want to put in the effort to change it by taking control of how they feel about themselves. that always somehow has to be somebody else's fault. the biggest insulator for many men_ is_ that a lot of them just don't care what people who don't like them think. but for women it's just the opposite. we need to give that crap up for happiness sake. we don't have power over what other people say or do but we do have power over whether we accept it to the point that we let it control what we think of ourselves. the first thing we have to recognize is that ultimately *WE* are responsible or how we feel about us.


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## Russell Williams (Nov 8, 2013)

My response is, "my mother, coming from a broken and impoverished family wound up at the end of the Great Depression with a PhD in biochemistry. What is your mother's excuse for not having a PhD? What is your excuse for not having a PhD?"

It does not make me any friends but it tends to shut them up and I probably wouldn't want them as friends anyway.


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## LillyBBBW (Nov 27, 2013)

*BUMP*
 Fitmom is out there talking smack again. She insists her body should be the representation of health and vitality while yours should represent the other thing. Apparently her comments got her kicked off of Facebook.

http://jezebel.com/fit-mom-banned-f...source=jezebel_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow


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## Extinctor100 (Nov 27, 2013)

I personally applaud for every stone thrown at Maria Kang from here on out. She's a hideous human being whose shameless self-promotion is turning into a reckless self-defense. I guess she figures the best defense is to offend as many people as possible...


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## LillyBBBW (Nov 27, 2013)

It seems like Amber Riley has been competing on Dancing With The Stars for a year now and she's finally won it. They ought to make Maria Kang present her with the trophy.


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## wrestlingguy (Nov 27, 2013)

From this evening's INSIDE EDITION:

*
So, what does Maria Kang think of curvy Amber Riley from glee winning Dancing with the Stars Tuesday night?

On the show, Riley said, "I want women of all sizes out there know, you can do whatever you put your mind to. It doesn't matter what size you are."

Kang responded, "She's a beautiful woman. I think that anybody who practices good nutrition and exercise, however their body manifests, is a beautiful thing. So, congrats to her."*

Ill bet she choked on those words as they came out of her mouth.


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## tonynyc (Nov 28, 2013)

LillyBBBW said:


> *BUMP*
> 
> Fitmom is out there talking smack again. She insists her body should be the representation of health and vitality while yours should represent the other thing. Apparently her comments got her kicked off of Facebook.
> 
> http://jezebel.com/fit-mom-banned-f...source=jezebel_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow



Lilly: here's the thing about "Fitmom" - she's not even in the top of her game as a Fitness Competitor - so she shouldn't even bother to talk any smack


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## wrestlingguy (Nov 29, 2013)

I don't typically promote my blogs here, but since it's on topic...

http://thenatural54.wordpress.com/2013/11/29/queen-kang-a-black-friday-blog/


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## superodalisque (Dec 1, 2013)

Extinctor100 said:


> I personally applaud for every stone thrown at Maria Kang from here on out. She's a hideous human being whose shameless self-promotion is turning into a reckless self-defense. I guess she figures the best defense is to offend as many people as possible...



she isn't any more hideous than a lot of the stuff out there that is mascerading as fat positivity


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## chicken legs (Dec 2, 2013)

I don't get what the big deal is..she is Asian American. My Asian friends motto for everything is..what's your excuse. That goes for whatever they are working on. They get all Tiger Mom about stuff. So to make a big deal out of it is kinda racist because their culture is hardcore. I don't know if they (press) are making a big deal out of it because she is with a white guy, like Tiger Mom. Or if She is making a big deal out of it because she is with a white guy and feels the need to be super Asian mom to prove a point to her culture..like Tiger mom...idk.

One thing I do know is her statement, on why she said that, sounded like any other Asian person when it comes to being fat. They don't like it and its not be socially accepted in their culture. To them..you think of an excuse..you think of a solution and you continue on. End of story. 

White folks didn't get black folks for liking curves and now they don't get asians for disliking to many curves. Can't we all just get along.


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## superodalisque (Dec 2, 2013)

chicken legs said:


> I don't get what the big deal is..she is Asian American. My Asian friends motto for everything is..what's your excuse. That goes for whatever they are working on. They get all Tiger Mom about stuff. So to make a big deal out of it is kinda racist because their culture is hardcore. I don't know if they (press) are making a big deal out of it because she is with a white guy, like Tiger Mom. Or if She is making a big deal out of it because she is with a white guy and feels the need to be super Asian mom to prove a point to her culture..like Tiger mom...idk.
> 
> One thing I do know is her statement, on why she said that, sounded like any other Asian person when it comes to being fat. They don't like it and its not be socially accepted in their culture. To them..you think of an excuse..you think of a solution and you continue on. End of story.
> 
> White folks didn't get black folks for liking curves and now they don't get asians for disliking to many curves. Can't we all just get along.



you make a good point. there are a lot of people in they US claiming they don't like being fat. she is probably just talking to them. they whine and do nothing. i too wish they would just shut up diet and do whatever they are going to do and leave the rest of us alone.


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## LillyBBBW (Dec 2, 2013)

chicken legs said:


> I don't get what the big deal is..she is Asian American. My Asian friends motto for everything is..what's your excuse. That goes for whatever they are working on. They get all Tiger Mom about stuff. So to make a big deal out of it is kinda racist because their culture is hardcore. I don't know if they (press) are making a big deal out of it because she is with a white guy, like Tiger Mom. Or if She is making a big deal out of it because she is with a white guy and feels the need to be super Asian mom to prove a point to her culture..like Tiger mom...idk.
> 
> One thing I do know is her statement, on why she said that, sounded like any other Asian person when it comes to being fat. They don't like it and its not be socially accepted in their culture. To them..you think of an excuse..you think of a solution and you continue on. End of story.
> 
> White folks didn't get black folks for liking curves and now they don't get asians for disliking to many curves. Can't we all just get along.



oh my god no. no. Black women with big asses being jeered at by white women is not the same as an Asian woman being jeered at for jeering at at people with big asses. And being mad at racists is not racist. omg.


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## tonynyc (Dec 2, 2013)

I'd like to see what the "fitmom" would have to say about Women Weightlifters...

Here is a Youtube video with highlights from 2013 Women's Weightlifting Championships 75+ Kg weight class


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