# Explaining Paquito for Newbies.



## Sasquatch! (Oct 26, 2010)

I've been reading through a number of threads recently, and I can't help but notice there is a bit of an unseen casualty in most of them.

No, it's not grammar. Or good taste. Those are always impeccable.

I think people are grossly misunderstanding Paquito. Here's a couple of points I think will help everyone when dealing with this much maligned poster:

1--Paquito is not, and never has been adopted by Angelina Jolie.

2--Paquito is indeed the sole survivor of the 1962 Chicken Drumstick conflict. (what a pointless, pointless war...)

3--The sound Paquito makes when running is identical to the Benny Hill theme tune.

4--The reason Paquito dislikes vegetables is because vegetables killed his parents.

5--Paquito is a controlled substance in 17 countries recognised by the UN.


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## BigChaz (Oct 26, 2010)

Paquito is the real reason for the Iraq War


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## Paquito (Oct 26, 2010)

7 -- Paquito fucking LOVES Sassy.

8 -- Paquito is based on the novel Push by Sapphire.


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## BigChaz (Oct 26, 2010)

9 -- Paquito has the largest recorded wiener in the United States

edit: (I saw it. It is true.)


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## Sasquatch! (Oct 26, 2010)

10--The first rule about Paquito club is you must talk about Paquito.

11--If it's your first night, you must do Paquito.


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## BigChaz (Oct 26, 2010)

12 -- If it's your second night...Paquito does you


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## nic_nic07 (Oct 26, 2010)

13.) Chuck Norris checks for Paquito before going to sleep at night.
14.)Paquito is actually Chuck Norris-the "one who is mistaken for Chuck Norris," is on an island with Elvis, and George Carlin


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## Sasquatch! (Oct 26, 2010)

15--Paquito is the fifth horseman of the Apocalypse--Hispanic Funk.


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## FishCharming (Oct 26, 2010)

16) Paquito has been at one point and time intimate with each of the golden girls. although before this they were just called the girls. 

17) Paquito is listed with the FDA as one of the secret ingredients in both KFC original recipe chicken and Dr. Pepper.

18) Paquito was the Second Gunmen on the grassy knoll.

19) Paquito let the dogs out. cus them bitches be triflin.


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## CastingPearls (Oct 26, 2010)

20. He has a sweet creamy middle not unlike a Cadbury Easter Egg.


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## nic_nic07 (Oct 26, 2010)

21.) He is who (or what) you would do for a Klondike bar.

22.) He is the number of licks to a toosite pop.

23.) He's the reason for the teardrops on Taylor Swift's guitar.

24.) He created the big bang.


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## CastingPearls (Oct 26, 2010)

25) He's the reason why Frank cries into his pillow all night.

26) He's Alaska's state bird.

27) He tastes like chicken.


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## Wolfie (Oct 26, 2010)

Ah, you know, I feel I'm really starting to get Paquito now. Let's hope this brief moment of understanding isn't just a phase.


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## Goreki (Oct 27, 2010)

28) There's no such thing as a Paquito "phase". He is your life now.


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Oct 27, 2010)

29) paq is . . . Therefore he can.


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## JerseyGirl07093 (Oct 27, 2010)

Sasquatch! said:


> 10--The first rule about Paquito club is you must talk about Paquito.
> 
> 11--If it's your first night, you must do Paquito.





BigChaz said:


> 12 -- If it's your second night...Paquito does you



What happens on the third night?!


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## chicken legs (Oct 27, 2010)

30. Paquito used to be a lion waterfall
31. Paquito is the white stuff in Twinkies


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## theronin23 (Oct 27, 2010)

32. Paquito just pissed your pants.
33. Paquito is all 99 of Jay-Z's problems.


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## WillSpark (Oct 27, 2010)

34. Paquito and I once got into a fight that began with pillows, crossed over into nuclear warfare, and ended in Borat-style mankinis unitards. I won by a default, but the point is don't start shit.


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## Zowie (Oct 27, 2010)

35. Paquito puts 'Pants on the Ground' guy to shame. 

36. Paquito is Aslan, only more caramel-ly.


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## Blackjack (Oct 27, 2010)

37. If God were to make a burrito so hot that even He couldn't eat it... Paquito could.


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## samuraiscott (Oct 27, 2010)

This thread made me LOL


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## Tad (Oct 27, 2010)

38. Paquito put the 'ram' in the 'rama lama ding dong' (but 'Who put the bomp
In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?' is still a mystery)


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Oct 27, 2010)

Tad said:


> 38. Paquito put the 'ram' in the 'rama lama ding dong' (but 'Who put the bomp
> In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?' is still a mystery)



Paq did that too. Fame, fortune, glory . . . A Paq cares not for these things.


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## Sasquatch! (Oct 27, 2010)

40--Paquito is Tupac's father.


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## Zowie (Oct 27, 2010)

Sasquatch! said:


> 40--Paquito is Tupac's father.



41. He's also Skywalker's father.


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## FishCharming (Oct 27, 2010)

42. Paquito is the force, and yes, he is with you...


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## nic_nic07 (Oct 27, 2010)

FishCharming said:


> 42. Paquito is the force, and yes, he is with you...



43. Coincidently, he is also in you as well.


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## FishCharming (Oct 27, 2010)

nic_nic07 said:


> 43. Coincidently, he is also in you as well.



at least until i can manage to schedule a colonic...


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## Melian (Oct 27, 2010)

44. Paquito invented the question mark. The internet pays him $0.01 USD every time it is used.

45. Don't offer Paquito any hair gel - he makes his own.

46. Native Americans originally did not want to surrender any land to the pilgrims. They quickly changed their tune after Paquito falcon punched them all in the face, and this is the origin of Thanksgiving (once known as "Paqs-pwning").


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## Tad (Oct 27, 2010)

Melian said:


> 44. Paquito invented the question mark. The internet pays him $0.01 USD every time it is used.



47. Coincidentally, he also invented the internet, but he let Al Gore take the credit.


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## OneWickedAngel (Oct 27, 2010)

48: Paq makes King Kong look like Bubbles.


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## Tad (Oct 27, 2010)

49. Is the original Paq-Man!


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## WillSpark (Oct 27, 2010)

50. He has no problems (including a bitch)


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## nic_nic07 (Oct 27, 2010)

FishCharming said:


> at least until i can manage to schedule a colonic...


I see what you did there.  


51.) He is the answer to the meaning of life, the universe, and everything.
52.) He was the inventor of "This is the Song That Never Ends," since he's been around since the world formed...and he's been continually singing forever since it is the song that never ends. 
53.) He makes having a 'q' in a name cool.


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## FatAndProud (Oct 27, 2010)

54. He is Victoria's Secret.
55. He is all that and a bag of chips with a Chicago hotdog and a pizza on the side.


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## Dr. P Marshall (Oct 27, 2010)

Wolfie said:


> Ah, you know, I feel I'm really starting to get Paquito now. Let's hope this brief moment of understanding isn't just a phase.



Paquito is constantly evolving. We can never truly know him, we can only spend our entire lives trying. 

56) All photos of Paquito on the boards are fakes. The only real photos of him ever taken were by the staff of "The Weekly World News."


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## OneWickedAngel (Oct 27, 2010)

57) "To Paq or not to Paq?" is never the question, for "Rack 'em, stack 'em and Paq 'em" is ever the answer.


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## BigChaz (Oct 27, 2010)

58) Paquito once killed an entire family just because they drove a green minivan


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## Paquito (Oct 27, 2010)

59.) Paquito's booty like bombs over Baghdad

BOOM


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## Zowie (Oct 27, 2010)

60) Jean-Luc Picard asks, "What would Paquito do?"


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## FishCharming (Oct 27, 2010)

61) Carmen Sandiego has been hiding in Paquito's fifth pocket the entire time. Also Elvis, Jimmy Hoffa, Emilia Earhart, and the Roanoke Island colonists are variously spread out amongst the other 4...


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## Paquito (Oct 27, 2010)

62.) Paquito doesn't think you're ready for this jelly.


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## Sasquatch! (Oct 27, 2010)

Paquito said:


> 62.) Paquito doesn't think you're ready for this jelly.



63--Paquito shakes his booty at every chance.


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## CastingPearls (Oct 27, 2010)

64) Paco was the inspiration for the cream filled donut. Is it any wonder that Krispy Kreme has the same initials as his first name?

65) He is what hot dogs and Slim Jims are made of

66) Sodomy laws on still on the books in some states specifically because of him. His picture is on post office walls all over the deep south.

67) There is a polygamous town in Utah named after him. And about 500 children under the age of seven. He calls their moms "sister-bitches".

68) His imaginary friend is the real creator of Facebook.


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## Christov (Oct 27, 2010)

69.) Paco touched me in bad places and told me not to say anything to an adult. 

What an amazingly appropriate number.


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## OneWickedAngel (Oct 27, 2010)

Christov said:


> 69.) Paco touched me in bad places and told me not to say anything to an adult.
> 
> What an amazingly appropriate number.




&#9834; &#9835; &#9836; He touched me,
&#9834; &#9835; &#9836; He put his paq in mine and then...
&#9834; &#9835; &#9836; He touched me,
&#9834; &#9835; &#9836; He tooooouched me!
&#9834; &#9835; &#9836; He tooooouched me!
&#9834; &#9835; &#9836; And suddenly
&#9834; &#9835; &#9836; Nothing,
&#9834; &#9835; &#9836; Nothing is the saaaaame!


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## CastingPearls (Oct 27, 2010)

70) Jesus DOESN'T want Paco for a sunbeam.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzG5bXLgYxs


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## frankman (Oct 27, 2010)

71 When landing, Paquito is always in the upright and locked position.

72 Paquito told the stewardess that was called tantric.

73 Paquito will quadruple your money within a week.

74 Paquito will then spend that money on canned peaches.

75 When used excessively, Paquito is a laxative.


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## Christov (Oct 27, 2010)

76) Paco is the one who _really_ left that stain on Monica Lewinsky's dress.


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## frankman (Oct 27, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> 66) Sodomy laws on still on the books in some states specifically because of him. His picture is on post office walls all over the deep south.



Incidentally, this is terribly offensive for people who recognize the deep south as a sexual position.

Paquito invented Mexican Haloween.


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## CastingPearls (Oct 27, 2010)

frankman said:


> Incidentally, this is terribly offensive for people who recognize the deep south as a sexual position.
> 
> 77) Paquito invented Mexican Haloween.



78) Anyone Paco beats with a stick will break open and have candy pour out of them.


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## frankman (Oct 27, 2010)

77 Paquito has 4 vaginas. Pickled in a big glass jar.


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## Christov (Oct 27, 2010)

78) And one of them is mine.


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## CastingPearls (Oct 27, 2010)

Guys you're screwing up the count!!!


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## FishCharming (Oct 27, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> Guys you're screwing up the count!!!



well, fun thread while it lasted. mods, lock this shit up and lets get back to posting naked pictures and bashing newbs.


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## OneWickedAngel (Oct 27, 2010)

81) To err is human, to really foul is P.U.B.A.R (Paq'd Up Beyond All Recognition)!


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## JulieD (Oct 27, 2010)

82) Paquito is the yellowish fuzzy stuff on your teeth

Honestly i dont even know Paquito, but i did check out his profile...


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## Sasquatch! (Oct 28, 2010)

83--The term "Packing heat" is derived from a saying about having a large loaded weapon, reminiscent of Paquito's.


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## AuntHen (Oct 28, 2010)

84- It's the dawning of the age of Paquito! 

Paaaa---quuiiii---toooooo Paaa----quuiii----tooooo!!


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## frankman (Oct 28, 2010)

85 Paquito is the onomatopoeic representation of the sound a climaxing mermaid makes.


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## Sasquatch! (Oct 28, 2010)

86--Paquito wears pretty party clothes crochet'd of snow.


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## MizzSnakeBite (Oct 28, 2010)

87) Paquito's God, Jeebus, and the Virgin Mary, all rolled up into one.


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## Sasquatch! (Oct 28, 2010)

88--Paquito starts his nutritious breakfasts off with Turtle.


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## FatAndProud (Oct 28, 2010)

89: Paquito is an underpants gnome that steals your underwear, while you're sleeping at night.

90: Paquito - once you pop, the fun don't stop.

91: Paquito dropped it like it was hot, picked it up, and then threw that shit out.

92: When Paquito is near, you hear Jaws theme music


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## Sasquatch! (Oct 28, 2010)

93--Paquito is available in a variety of flavours: classic, lite, cherry, giraffe and facist.


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## Zowie (Oct 28, 2010)

94. Paquito is the end of all things.

95. Superman had Paquito build his Fortress of Solitude.

96. Paquito killed Batman's parents.


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## AuntHen (Oct 28, 2010)

97- Paquito! Making old ladies and cats uncomfortable since 1982


haha sassy you have to change yours too


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## Sasquatch! (Oct 28, 2010)

98--Paquito invented BBQ sauce.

99--Paquito had an affair with JFK.

100--We're safe from Giraffes only because they're afraid of Paquito.

101--Paquito has the memory of infinity goldfish.


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## AuntHen (Oct 28, 2010)

102- My Paquito lies over the ocean, my Paquito lies over the sea..


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## Sasquatch! (Oct 28, 2010)

103--Paquito will bring back your Bonnie to you. For the price of 5 camels.


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## AuntHen (Oct 28, 2010)

104- Two scoops of Paquito in every box of Paquito Bran!


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## frankman (Oct 28, 2010)

105 Paquito once shat a tank and drove it to school.


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## NancyGirl74 (Oct 28, 2010)

106. Paquito found Nemo.


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## JerseyGirl07093 (Oct 29, 2010)

107. Paquito knows where Waldo is...but he's not sayin'.


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## AmazingAmy (Oct 29, 2010)

108. Paquito is the word, not the bird.


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## Mishty (Oct 29, 2010)

1O9: All children MUST sing this when they see The Paquito

Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with dew
Cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two
The Paquito, 
Paquito can
The Paquito can 'cause he mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good

Who can take a rainbow, wrap it in a sigh
Soak it in the sun and make a strawberrylemon pie
The Paquito?
The Paquito, the 
Paquito can
The Paquito can 'cause he mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good


Paquito makes everything he bakes
Satisfying and delicious
Talk about your childhood wishes
You can even eat the dishes

Who can take tomorrow, dip it in a dream
Separate the sorrow and collect up all the cream
The Paquito, 
Paquito can, the 
Paquito 
The Paquito can 'cause he mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good

And the world tastes good'
Cause the Paquito thinks it should


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## chicken legs (Oct 29, 2010)

110. Paquito calls Area 51 home.
111. Paquito is currently building timeshare development in the Bermuda Triangle.


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## paintsplotch (Oct 29, 2010)

112 When ET phoned home... it rang Paquito.
113 Karma Sutra was invented by Paquito
114 Even the Pope gets all tinglie when he hears the word/name Paquito


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## Blackjack (Oct 29, 2010)

115. Per order of the local government, Paquito is no longer permitted in Tiajuana.


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## Tad (Oct 29, 2010)

116. The New Paquito was rolled out some years ago, but consumer demand forced a return to the original formula. New Paquito tasted surprisingly like Chaz.


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## NancyGirl74 (Oct 29, 2010)

117. Paquito saved private Ryan
118. When Paquito talks people listen
119. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife...unless you are Paquito
120. Paquito is the real father of all 19 of Mrs. Dugger's children


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## tonynyc (Oct 29, 2010)

121. Paquito defeated Brock Lesnar 







*No Mas Paquito No Mas*


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## FatAndProud (Oct 29, 2010)

122. Paquito survived the Jigsaw killer.


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## Fuzzy (Oct 29, 2010)

AmazingAmy said:


> 108. Paquito is the word, not the bird.



Well, that straightens it all out for me. Whew.


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## Amandy (Oct 29, 2010)

123. Paquito has accomplished much in his young life. Makes me wonder wtf I've been doing with all of my time.


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## NancyGirl74 (Oct 29, 2010)

124. Paquito is not only the Hair Club president, He's also a client.


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## tonynyc (Oct 30, 2010)

125. Paquito invented the internet (originally known as _PaquitoNet_) ....


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## BigChaz (Oct 30, 2010)

126. Paquito is Obama's father, mother, son, daughter, and dog.


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## Sasquatch! (Oct 30, 2010)

127--Paquito is made of turkey.


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## CastingPearls (Oct 30, 2010)

128) Paquito is the fart whisperer

129) Paquito is conducting auditions for the theatrical debut of his life story tentatively titled: Big Fat Hairy Deal (The Musical)

130) Kirsty Alley is the new celebrity spokesperson for his new religion Pacotology. (Let's see how long she lasts with this one)

131) Inspired a new anti-exercise craze with ROLLS franchises all over the country.


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## Sasquatch! (Oct 30, 2010)

132--Paquito beat back the Hun invasion with a pool cue and Queen music.


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## tonynyc (Oct 30, 2010)

133. Paquito IQ is 350 which not only is Supersized but higher than  Marilyn vos Savant


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## Paquito (Oct 30, 2010)

134. Paquito told Rosa Parks not to let the white man make her move.


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## tonynyc (Oct 30, 2010)

135. Paquito successfully defended Elizabeth Jennings Graham and integrated NYC Transit in 1850's a Harbinger to the Rosa Parks Case...


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## NancyGirl74 (Oct 30, 2010)

136. Paquito invented most languages including pig latin and Klingon


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## tonynyc (Oct 30, 2010)

137. On a Bet ... Paquito decides to enter the NWA Heavyweight Wrestling Tourney and wins the Title 






*
you'll have to find Paquito somewhere in the crowd between the "faces" and the "heels" *


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## WillSpark (Oct 30, 2010)

138. Paquito and I once collaborated into making the biggest most epic story series ever known by man, but stopped and split due to creative differences. That's the real reason the Canturbury Tales were left uncompleted.


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## Lil BigginZ (Oct 31, 2010)

139. Paquito does not sleep. He waits.

140. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Paquito out. It failed miserably.

141. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Paquito allows to live.

142. There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Paquito.

143. Paquito CAN believe it's not butter.

144. French surrendered to Paquito just to be on the safe side.


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## CastingPearls (Oct 31, 2010)

145) Paco can be seen from outer space.


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## The Fez (Oct 31, 2010)

146) Paquito is the only poster on the dimensions forums; we are all his alts


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## NancyGirl74 (Oct 31, 2010)

147. If you break a mirror you get seven years of bad Paquito


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## Sasquatch! (Oct 31, 2010)

148--There is no such thing as Bad Romance in Paquito's world.


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## NancyGirl74 (Oct 31, 2010)

149. Paquito built this city, he built this city on rock-n-roll!
150. Paquito's middle name is....Paquito
151. Paquito choreographed Michael Jackson's Thriller video. 
152. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Paquito _*is*_ the beholder.


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## BigChaz (Oct 31, 2010)

153. Burrito is has been replaced with Paquito


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## tonynyc (Nov 1, 2010)

154. Paquito was the Grand Marshall at the NYC Halloween Parade


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## Paquito (Nov 1, 2010)

155.) Paquito was the most popular costume yesterday. Nobody was able to compare.


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## tonynyc (Nov 1, 2010)

156. Paquito taught Arnold how to fight like Conan the Barbarian


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## BigChaz (Nov 1, 2010)

I think you meant "rave".


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## Sasquatch! (Nov 2, 2010)

157--Paquito makes a mean Crayola Crayon fritata.


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## tonynyc (Nov 2, 2010)

158. After beating out Tiger Woods to become the number one golfer- Paquito took time off and helped the SF Giants win the World Series 






*
You'll have to search hard for Paquito in the sea of Ball players  He's the one wearing the baseball cap
* :happy: :happy: :happy:


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## Paquito (Nov 2, 2010)

159. Paquito will be played by Betty White in his stirring biography, _Sucky Sucky, Five Dolla?_


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## OneWickedAngel (Nov 3, 2010)

160. All copies of said bio will be personally autographed by Paquito with his own spunk.


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## NancyGirl74 (Nov 3, 2010)

Paquito said:


> 159. Paquito will be played by Betty White in his stirring biography, _Sucky Sucky, Five Dolla?_



I cannot rep you again but dayum! Thank you for the first true laugh of the day. LOL


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## AuntHen (Nov 3, 2010)

161. Paquito created the vuvuzela and he sounds like one when he sneezes


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## WillSpark (Nov 3, 2010)

162. If Paquito were a Boo from Super Mario Bros. he'd chase after you even if you were facing him


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## frankman (Nov 3, 2010)

Paquito said:


> 155.) Paquito was the most popular costume yesterday. Nobody was able to compare.



163 Paquito costumes are always the most popular costumes.


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## AuntHen (Nov 3, 2010)

164- speaking of Halloween... Paquito is the mastermind behind the phrase "trick or treat" only his idea of a treat was banned in most countries!


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## JerseyGirl07093 (Nov 3, 2010)

fat9276 said:


> 164- speaking of Halloween... Paquito is the mastermind behind the phrase "trick or treat" only his idea of a treat was banned in most countries!



 I don't even want to know what the trick was then!


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## AmazingAmy (Nov 3, 2010)

Paquito's dad could beat up your dad.


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## FishCharming (Nov 30, 2010)

but what do you do when paquito just isnt enough?


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## Fat Brian (Nov 30, 2010)

Paquito is ALWAYS enough.


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## JulieD (Nov 30, 2010)

FishCharming said:


> but what do you do when paquito just isnt enough?


 PSHT! Watch your mouth...those are fighting words around here



Fat Brian said:


> *233*Paquito is ALWAYS enough.




234...Paquito inspired MJ to write "Bad; Thriller; PTY (Pretty Young Thing), and Billie Jean (the kid is Paquito's son)


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## Paquito (Nov 30, 2010)

Paquito is too much.


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## Fat Brian (Nov 30, 2010)

Paquito, just a dab will do ya'.


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## NancyGirl74 (Dec 1, 2010)

235. You know all those paternity tests done on Maury where they say "You are 98.5% the father!"??? The other 1.5% is Paquito.


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## OneWickedAngel (Dec 1, 2010)

236: What if Paquito was one of us?
Just a slob like some of us?
Just a Paquito on a bus,
trying to make his way home?


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## OneWickedAngel (Dec 1, 2010)

237: Paquito is the 2nd Coming

(and if you're among those forty-two virgins, he's also the 3rd coming, the 4th Coming, the 5th...)


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## JulieD (Dec 3, 2010)

238) Paquito is my Hero...he busts them in the knee caps every time!:smitten::bow:


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## NancyGirl74 (Dec 3, 2010)

239. Order NOW! And earn 7 extra bonus bucks! PLUS! You'll get this handsome Paquito minature! Free!!!


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## spiritangel (Dec 3, 2010)

240. Paquito is actually responsible for the charmed ones power

241. Paquito is the Killer on the Loose in the Faker song Killer on the loose and the Kid in kid please try harder


242. There is a paquito "Doll" in every city in the world waiting for the day paquito calls them into action


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## JulieD (Dec 3, 2010)

NancyGirl74 said:


> 239. Order NOW! You'll get this handsome Paquito minature! Free!!!



YaY! I have always wanted a Pocket Paquito! Now I can take min with me everywhere! Don't worry Paco, I will put my hand in my pocket and play with you evey once in a while! And if you keep my pockets clean from lint, I will let you sleep under my pillow!


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## AuntHen (Dec 3, 2010)

243) Paquito takes frequent trips to the Bermuda Triangle... but don't let him talk you into going with! Last time he asked Amelia Earhart and we all know how that turned out :doh:




** and history buffs... please don't start with the Pacific vs Atlantic about the Bermuda Triangle... just try to have fun OK??!! Thanks in advance


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## frankman (Dec 3, 2010)

244 Saying Paquito in court is actually a legal argument.


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## OneWickedAngel (Dec 4, 2010)

245. &#9834; &#9835; Deck the halls with boughs of Paquito fa-la-la-la-laa, la-la-la-laaaaaa! &#9834; &#9836;


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## LisaInNC (Dec 4, 2010)

This could possibly be the best thread ever. I have nothing to add about Paquito. I think yall have covered it all.


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## Fat Brian (Dec 4, 2010)

246. All the best threads ever are about Paquito.


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## CastingPearls (Dec 5, 2010)

247) You know that special flavoring you taste from bakery cakes? That's Paquito extract.


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## tonynyc (Dec 5, 2010)

LisaInNC said:


> This could possibly be the best thread ever. I have nothing to add about Paquito. I think yall have covered it all.



248) One can never be at a loss for _Paquito_

Unless the Paquito got your tongue


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## frankman (Dec 6, 2010)

tonynyc said:


> 248) One can never be at a loss for _Paquito_
> 
> Unless the Paquito got your tongue



Not a rare event, because:

249. Paquito collects tongues in a big pickle jar.

250. Paquito is on a strict diet consisting of Irish babies and donor organs.


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## ManBeef (Dec 6, 2010)

I wish I could be deep fried && Paquito was the dipping sauce


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## CastingPearls (Dec 6, 2010)

252) The finest most exquisite silk is produced from the rare Paquitoberryworm.

253) The softest most luxurious cashmere on earth is harvested from the endangered Three-Horned Yodeling Paco Goat.


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## frankman (Dec 6, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> 252) The finest most exquisite silk is produced from the rare Paquitoberryworm.
> 
> 253) The softest most luxurious cashmere on earth is harvested from the endangered Three-Horned Yodeling Paco Goat.



Alpaco wool!


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## CastingPearls (Dec 6, 2010)

254) The film 'Not Without My Paco' was not released in theaters throughout the world because test audiences found it too traumatic for public viewing.


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## FishCharming (Dec 6, 2010)

255) Paquito doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he prefers Dos Equis


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## tonynyc (Dec 7, 2010)

256) The Paquito Pump and Pose


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## spiritangel (Dec 7, 2010)

257: Paquito invented the Pavlova (like der the first two letters are the same)

258: Paquito doesnt care that its the way it shatters that matters


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## JulieD (Dec 7, 2010)

259) Paquito is that feeling you get right before you throw up...eww


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## tonynyc (Dec 7, 2010)

260) The Paquito Press 

*Paquito is the Innovator of Wrasslin Mayhem*





Taught by Paquito to this Kitten



 GIFSoup

Paquito then taught this move to Wrestling Diva- Mickey James


----------



## JulieD (Dec 8, 2010)

261) A Paquito is how long you have to hide until I seek you.... 1 Paquito; 2Paquito; 3 Paquito;...... 262 Paquito. Ready or not, here i come!


----------



## Sasquatch! (Dec 9, 2010)

262--Tribbles are based on Paquito. They are hairy, round and fertile.


----------



## Lovelyone (Dec 10, 2010)

263. Paquito is the inventor of those little plastic things that keep price tags on clothing. He's a billionaire by now.


----------



## spiritangel (Dec 10, 2010)

264. Paquito is the tops, hes the tower of pisa, the mona lisa


----------



## Fat Brian (Dec 11, 2010)

265. Paquito invented the little plastic things on the ends of your shoe laces.


----------



## FishCharming (Dec 11, 2010)

Fat Brian said:


> 265. Paquito invented the little plastic things on the ends of your shoe laces.



they were named aglet after paquito's childhood guinea pig


----------



## tonynyc (Dec 12, 2010)

266) Paquito provides all you need from your basic food groups :eat1: :eat2: :eat1:

*Paquitos, 143 First Avenue between St. Marks Place and 9th Street, 212/674.2071*











*" We ordered the beef taco this time for $2.50. It was a little bit chewy but the good salsa that came with it was pretty tasty. Their Real Mexican Style taco was more substantial than the others..."*

*Source*
Writing With My Mouth Full


----------



## JulieD (Dec 12, 2010)

267) Paquito will ALWAYS be the winner... no mater how many he has to take out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2wD5TaMf2k


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya (Dec 12, 2010)

268) No matter how many negative points he has.


----------



## JulieD (Dec 12, 2010)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> 268) No matter how many negative points he has.



UGH! Damn you Garseeya!


----------



## Paquito (Dec 12, 2010)

269.) Paquito never forgets.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya (Dec 12, 2010)

Paquito said:


> 269.) Paquito never forgets.



270) No matter how many negative points he has.


----------



## Paquito (Dec 12, 2010)

271.) Paquito always wins. Even with negative points.


----------



## spiritangel (Dec 12, 2010)

272. Whilst Oprah is busy launching her own television network paquitos minions have been hard at work on Paquito vision set to revoloutionise tevelevision as we know it


----------



## NancyGirl74 (Dec 12, 2010)

273. Where's the beef?!?!?!? Paquito knows.


----------



## tonynyc (Dec 12, 2010)

NancyGirl74 said:


> 273. Where's the beef?!?!?!? Paquito knows.



*So true... and here were present*

274. The Paquito Burrito


----------



## lovelocs (Dec 12, 2010)

275. 
*********PRESS RELEASE**********
Paquito, AKA The Caramel Lion, AKA -2Pac, will be droppin' his first album
next Tuesday, December 14th on Do You Records. With guest spots from
artists as diverse as Twista, Justin Bieber, Ladysmith Black Mambazo, and 
Steve Tyler, it's an eclectic, yet funky follow up to his much much-loved 
underground mixtape "da Hot Canadian."​
View attachment mufasa.jpg


----------



## OneWickedAngel (Dec 14, 2010)

276: In the beginning, there was Paquito. And when the last proton in the universe finally winks out of existence, trillions of trillions of years from now, Paquito will be there to witness its decay.


----------



## NancyGirl74 (Dec 14, 2010)

277. Paquito _*IS*_ the boss of you.


----------



## Tad (Dec 14, 2010)

278: Genies dream of finding Paquito to grant them their wishes.
279: Mr-T's original tag line was "I Paquito da fool!" but it was changed for copyright reasons.


----------



## frankman (Dec 14, 2010)

280 How we perceive Paquito is only the shadow of the real entity that our brains can understand. The real Paquito is 500 trillion lightyears big, eons old and weighs close to infinity times 2. 

281 Just imagining all that is the real paquito can make your head melt and your tearducts shoot skittles.

282 Strawberries and chicken had no flavor until Paquito decided what they were supposed to taste like.

283 The same is true for chlorine and plutonium.

284 Originally, Paquito cured Marie Curie of her radiation induced cancer. The shocking realization of that fact made her relapse.


----------



## WillSpark (Dec 14, 2010)

285. Paquito is like communism. He sounds great on paper but in practice he just becomes facist.


----------



## lovelocs (Dec 15, 2010)

286. Paquito's hair *is* bulletproof.


----------



## Tad (Dec 15, 2010)

lovelocs said:


> 286. Paquito's hair *is* bulletproof.



287. And the first bullet-proof vests were actually woven from Paquito's hair. Kevlar is actually a synthetic imitation.


----------



## Zowie (Dec 15, 2010)

289. They've changed the game to Marco! Paco! However, it's still cruel and unusual torture for children.


----------



## thekidstable (Dec 15, 2010)

THIS JUST IN
290. Paco is the apotheosis of love making:






and it's generally accepted that no one could ever compare, ever.


----------



## Paquito (Dec 15, 2010)

291.) Paquito is a lady in the street and a freak in the bed. Paquito is also a freak in the street, but never a lady in the bed.


----------



## spiritangel (Dec 15, 2010)

292) Paquito is that guy hiding in the bushes

293) Originally it was going to be called Paquitoland but he and walt disney had a falling out to this day no one but Paquito and Walt know what that was about


----------



## tonynyc (Dec 15, 2010)

294) Paquito is Music


----------



## Dockta_Dockta (Dec 16, 2010)

So I should bow to Paquito?

I can handle that.


----------



## frankman (Dec 16, 2010)

spiritangel said:


> 293) Originally it was going to be called Paquitoland but he and walt disney had a falling out to this day no one but Paquito and Walt know what that was about



Not completely true. The fight was about Paco not wanting to be recognized as a clumsy mouse with a dog. It's been rumored that he called Walt from the back of his diamond limo yelling "you get beck to me when you learn how to draw! THEN we'll talk about deals, you hack."


----------



## frankman (Dec 16, 2010)

295 Everything the light touches is Paquito's kingdom.


----------



## FishCharming (Dec 16, 2010)

296) Everything the light doesn't touch is paquito's bedroom


----------



## Melian (Dec 16, 2010)

297. Every time the light touches Paquito, the sun jizzes itself. This is how sunspots are created.


----------



## NancyGirl74 (Dec 16, 2010)

spiritangel said:


> 293) Originally it was going to be called Paquitoland but he and walt disney had a falling out to this day no one but Paquito and Walt know what that was about





frankman said:


> Not completely true. The fight was about Paco not wanting to be recognized as a clumsy mouse with a dog. It's been rumored that he called Walt from the back of his diamond limo yelling "you get beck to me when you learn how to draw! THEN we'll talk about deals, you hack."



Paquito is currently keeping Disney's frozen body in his basement. When science and medical technology advance to the point whereby they are able to reanimate the famous animator Paquito will have him unfrozen. At such time he will be expecting a full apology from Walt and a lifetime of free rides on Splash Mountain.


----------



## BM the Lipophile (Dec 17, 2010)

299. Paquito is the reason why the alphabet still has the letter Q even though it is redundant.


----------



## nic_nic07 (Dec 17, 2010)

300.) Because only Paquito can dine in hell-without ever stepping foot in Sparta. 

301.) Because Paquito will never threaten to stab you. He's the real life version of a weighted companion cube....only one who cannot die, but can speak.


----------



## tonynyc (Dec 17, 2010)

Dockta_Dockta said:


> So I should bow to Paquito?
> 
> I can handle that.



302. Paquito is 'The Godfather'


----------



## tonynyc (Dec 18, 2010)

303.Paquito is more potent than saliva









*304. Paquito Quesadilla*


----------



## Famouslastwords (Dec 20, 2010)

306. If you take the blue pill paquito appears to you and punches you in the babymaker, if you take the red pill, you wake up in your bed like it was all a dream.


----------



## spiritangel (Dec 20, 2010)

307. Paquitos bodily fluids are so potent they have yet to invent a container they dont burn through


----------



## Fat Brian (Dec 20, 2010)

308. Paquito droppings are so delicious they are collected and wrapped in tortillas and sold in the freezer section as Taquitos.


----------



## tonynyc (Dec 20, 2010)

309.) Paquito Eclipse 






*Be awake at 3am tonight and don't let the Paquito Bugs Bite *


----------



## lovelocs (Dec 21, 2010)

Near the end of Paquito's operation, two men in black hazmat suits burst into the operating room, whisking away the oral surgeon, a scrub nurse, and the office receptionist. One of them carried a bag marked "biohazard," which was described by a local homeless man as "glowing with a strange, reddish light." A bloody glove was found in a nearby stormdrain, though police state this is a completely unrelated development. 


The BATF, CIA, FBI, FEMA, and the CDC deny any knowledge of the incident.


----------



## Paquito (Dec 27, 2010)

311.) Paquito knows why the caged bird sings. it sings of Paquito

312.) Paquito is the reason for the season.

313.) Paquito is what Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, the Winter Solstice, and any other obscure winter holidays are all about.


----------



## nic_nic07 (Dec 27, 2010)

314.)Paquito invented pie.
315.)Cher asked Paquito if he could turn back time for him, and when he said that he couldn't let her do that, she wrote "Turn Back Time."
316.)Paquito invented the CIA, the FBI, and also gave birth to Chuck Norris, all while writing the Constitution...AT THE SAME TIME.
317.)On a side note, Paquito, doesn't agree with historical accuracies. He eats them as a part of a healthy breakfast.


----------



## Famouslastwords (Dec 27, 2010)

318) Paquito can belch the star spangled banner while farting the pledge of allegiance and does so often, IN HIS SLEEP.


----------



## tonynyc (Dec 27, 2010)

319) Taught Steven Segal how to play the guitar....


----------



## tonynyc (Dec 27, 2010)

320) The Paquito Pastrami Bomb


----------



## tonynyc (Dec 28, 2010)

321)* From Fred Astaire to Fred Berry  they all learned to shake a leg at Paquitos*




















*The ever so modest Paquito is standing behind the late Fred Berry, his star pupil*


----------



## Sasquatch! (Dec 29, 2010)

322--Paquito can tell what time it is in every city of the world 

323--Because for Paquito, it's *ALWAYS* business time.


----------



## Lovelyone (Dec 29, 2010)

324. The jelly centers of Linzer cookies are made out of the essence of Paquito.
325. Paquito is distantly related to the person whom the character of Quagmire from the Family Guy Cartoons is based on...giggidty.


----------



## tonynyc (Dec 30, 2010)

326.) Paquito is a culinary experience....







Tucked in the corner of a North Miami shopping center there's a fabulous hidden secret, Paquito's Mexican Restaurant. Their motto says it all..."Home of the best Mexican food. Period." But wait 'til you get inside! Flamboyant colors, Mexican artwork and pottery, swinging pinatas....fresh chips, salsa and live Mariachi music flow freely! 

On any given day, patrons of the delightfully festive Paquito's consume tacos with mucho gusto! Two stuffed (soft or crisp) with beef, chicken, pork, steak, or shrimp on either flour or corn tortillas. Miami New Times loves Paquito's so much that they named them "Best Tacos" in 2009! An overflowing plate includes rice and beans,even tastier when washed down with a nice cold pitcher of Margaritas. The Guacamole alone is worth a visit! But there's a huge, irresistible menu, from Mole in three different distinctive varieties to combinations of everyone's favorite enchiladas, big fat burritos, tamales, sizzling fajitas and much, much more. Even gringos will feel at home, with juicy burgers and grilled chicken sandwiches

. All ingredients are top quality, portions are incredibly generous, and the Paquito's staff treats you like a welcome guest. You'll think they baked the luscious Tres Leches Cake just for you. After dinner, check out the bar, where a wild party could break out at any minute! Ay caramba! 

-- portions from New Times


----------



## lovelocs (Dec 31, 2010)

You ain't ate til you ate at Paquito's...


IJS


----------



## Sasquatch! (Jan 4, 2011)

327-- Paquito doesn't have an evil twin. He *is* the evil twin.


----------



## BigWarmMan (Jan 5, 2011)

328.) Paquito is The Whisperer in the Dark, clawing at the fringes of reality.


----------



## tonynyc (Jan 5, 2011)

329) The Dog Whisperer Rules Dogs... Paquito Rules the Dog Whisperer


----------



## frankman (Jan 5, 2011)

330. Paquito soothes the savage beast. Then eats it.


----------



## tonynyc (Jan 5, 2011)

331) Paquito guzzles this stuff like Kool-Aid


----------



## lovelocs (Jan 7, 2011)

tonynyc said:


> 331) Paquito guzzles this stuff like Kool-Aid



You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to tonynyc again.


----------



## Fat Brian (Jan 7, 2011)

Does he drink it or just let it squirt all over his face ?


----------



## Sasquatch! (Jan 17, 2011)

332--Paquito is the man from Nantucket.


----------



## Famouslastwords (Jan 17, 2011)

333) Paquito once posted a thread requesting pics of women in thongs and got them by the *millions* and no one snarked him. No one.


----------



## frankman (Jan 18, 2011)

334. Paquito understands every single thing about Finnegan's Wake.


----------



## Lovelyone (Jan 19, 2011)

335. Paquito is so awesome that he pees glitter.


----------



## FishCharming (Jan 19, 2011)

Lovelyone said:


> 335. Paquito is so awesome that he pees glitter.



False.

336. He pees champagne and _*farts*_ glitter.


----------



## Lovelyone (Jan 19, 2011)

337. Its been documented that If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it--the sound that it will make is "Paquitooooooooooooooooooo".


----------



## tonynyc (Jan 19, 2011)

338) Paquito is Rhythm


----------



## Lovelyone (Jan 19, 2011)

339) Paquito invented those tags on mattresses and pillows that say, "Do not tear off under penalty of law".


----------



## CastingPearls (Jan 19, 2011)

340) If you look at Paco after it rains, you'll see a rainbow.

341) Skittles 'Taste the Rainbow' advertising campaign was thought up by Paco's first sexual conquest Helga who never got over him.*

*she still pines. sad. very sad.


----------



## FishCharming (Jan 19, 2011)

342) When paquito was born he did not cry, he came out singing Inna Godda Davida. 

343) The doctor's head exploded when he attempted to slap newborn paquito. this offense is the basis of the christian idea of original sin.


----------



## spiritangel (Jan 19, 2011)

344. Paquito laid the egg that became the chicken that I will be roasting for tonights dinner

345. Paquito is the last song you will ever hear


----------



## WillSpark (Jan 20, 2011)

346. Which came first? The chicken or the egg? Paquito.


----------



## lovelocs (Jan 20, 2011)

347. There's things he's not telling us, folks...


----------



## JulieD (Jan 24, 2011)

348) Paquito is the Pimpwalk Master....


----------



## CastingPearls (Jan 24, 2011)

349) Paco's awesomeness caused the Great Dims Crash of 2011


----------



## pdgujer148 (Jan 24, 2011)

350) He bought a packet of Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal that one time at that 7-11 in Pensacola, Fa.


----------



## cakeboy (Jan 24, 2011)

351) Paquito is tougher than a night in jail and more tongue-in-cheek than a lesbian orgy.


----------



## frankman (Jan 24, 2011)

352. Paquito's rep turns the cans of Mountain dew in you fridge into Fanta lemon.


----------



## tonynyc (Jan 24, 2011)

353.) when Paquito gets the munchies... food companies make specialty flavors just for him...


----------



## frankman (Jan 24, 2011)

tonynyc said:


> 353.) when Paquito gets the munchies... food companies make specialty flavors just for him...



Little bit of a tangent here, but your image collection of weird freaky food products impresses me to no end.


----------



## Famouslastwords (Jan 26, 2011)

354) Paquito is the original Sybian.


----------



## Lovelyone (Jan 26, 2011)

355.)Paquito has been offered every leading man position in all the top movies but he turned them down on principle...he believes that there should be some plump leading ladies.


356.) Paquito is the real inventor of the little plastic things on the ends of shoelaces, mini-marshmallows, silly putty, PB&J in a jar, women's braziers, McDonald's special sauce, and flavored mayonnaise. He doesn't want acknowledgement of such things because he's too modest.


----------



## Forgotten_Futures (Jan 30, 2011)

357) It isn't the moon, no, it's Paquito who causes solar eclipses.


----------



## cakeboy (Feb 1, 2011)

358) Paquito is the world's greatest fisherman. He is truly a master baiter!


----------



## KittyKitten (Feb 3, 2011)

359) Because Paquito makes ladies catch the Holy Ghost!


----------



## tonynyc (Feb 4, 2011)

360) Hmmm ... when Paquito takes a break he get any fucking flavor of Kit Kat Bars he wants... no questions asked...


----------



## frankman (Feb 4, 2011)

cakeboy said:


> 358) Paquito is the world's greatest fisherman. He is truly a master baiter!



Yeah. And he has sex with himself a lot too.


----------



## HDANGEL15 (Feb 4, 2011)

361) *PAQUITO was the COWARDLY LION in the WIZARD OF OZ


RAWWRRRRRRRRRRR*


----------



## NancyGirl74 (Feb 5, 2011)

362. If Paquito played Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon there would be ZERO degrees between him and Kevin.

363. Paquito is what you would do for a Klondike bar.

364. Every time a bell rings Paquita gets new wings


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 5, 2011)

365. Paquito's got a big wang. 


End.of.thread.


----------



## CastingPearls (Feb 5, 2011)

366. As Paquito is infinity, so is this thread.


----------



## Blackjack (Feb 7, 2011)

I'm pregnant. Paquito's the father.

I think that Zowie is going to be the godmother.


----------



## KittyKitten (Feb 8, 2011)

Paquito makes girls shake what their mama gave them


----------



## lovelocs (Feb 8, 2011)

369. It's PAQUITO that's spreading malaria in Sub-Saharan Africa. 

370. Paquito can divide by zero and give you change.


----------



## tonynyc (Feb 8, 2011)

371. The Good News... Paquito is going to WrestleMania 
The Bad News... He kicked the shit out of Hornswoggle


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 8, 2011)

372. Paquito's wang grows bigger with every post.


----------



## tonynyc (Feb 9, 2011)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> 372. Paquito's wang grows bigger with every post.



Bigger than this....


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 10, 2011)

tonynyc said:


> Bigger than this....



No....bigger than...............ME!!!!!


----------



## tonynyc (Feb 11, 2011)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> No....bigger than...............ME!!!!!



Seems reasonable ... we don 't want to be greedy now 

*373.* *Pulled Pork ala "Paquito" with all the fixings... *:eat2:


----------



## frankman (Feb 11, 2011)

Pulled pork is the best.


----------



## NurseVicki (Feb 11, 2011)

Sasquatch! said:


> I've been reading through a number of threads recently, and I can't help but notice there is a bit of an unseen casualty in most of them.
> 
> No, it's not grammar. Or good taste. Those are always impeccable.
> 
> ...



Not sure about this one I must be too old LOL


----------



## NurseVicki (Feb 11, 2011)

NurseVicki said:


> Not sure about this one I must be too old LOL


 this is what google gave me http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paquito_D'Rivera


----------



## NurseVicki (Feb 11, 2011)

tonynyc said:


> Seems reasonable ... we don 't want to be greedy now
> 
> *373.* *Pulled Pork ala "Paquito" with all the fixings... *:eat2:



OHH man that looks Good Move over I want some


----------



## Goreki (Feb 11, 2011)

NurseVicki said:


> Oh what a video i could make with that cock WOW


Oh my god, I knw right? I was thinking the same thing.
Maybe something like an action thriller, where the Penis is a small town policeman that gets caught up in the sinister web of the kgb, and has to fight to save his family and country.
Has it been done though?


----------



## FishCharming (Feb 11, 2011)

Goreki said:


> Oh my god, I knw right? I was thinking the same thing.
> Maybe something like an action thriller, where the Penis is a small town policeman that gets caught up in the sinister web of the kgb, and has to fight to save his family and country.
> Has it been done though?



i would totally go see that! you could call it "a vein runs through it" or "lock, cock and 2 smoking barrels" or "snatch"! wait, that one's been done... :happy:


----------



## WillSpark (Feb 11, 2011)

FishCharming said:


> i would totally go see that! you could call it "a vein runs through it" or "lock, cock and 2 smoking barrels" or "snatch"! wait, that one's been done... :happy:



I'd call it "Tainted"


----------



## CastingPearls (Feb 11, 2011)

tonynyc said:


> Seems reasonable ... we don 't want to be greedy now
> 
> *373.* *Pulled Pork ala "Paquito" with all the fixings... *:eat2:


That literally made my mouth water.


----------



## Paquito (Feb 11, 2011)

374.) Paquito doesn't eat coleslaw.


----------



## Sasquatch! (Feb 11, 2011)

375--Paquito has an irrational fear of things beginning with the letter V.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya (Feb 11, 2011)

Sasquatch! said:


> 375--Paquito has an irrational fear of things beginning with the letter V.



Vagina????


----------



## lovelocs (Feb 12, 2011)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> Vagina????



376. Agina added a "V" to its name in the vain hope of making itself safe from Paquito.


----------



## JulieD (Feb 13, 2011)

NurseVicki said:


> this is what google gave me http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paquito_D'Rivera



i clicked this link...and the first and only thing i read was:

377) Paquito was a child prodigy


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 13, 2011)

378. Paquito was born with a big schlong. 

379. Paquito needs to make movies that feature his best feature :smitten:


----------



## Sasquatch! (Feb 13, 2011)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> 378. Paquito was born with a big schlong.
> 
> 379. Paquito needs to make movies that feature his best feature :smitten:



380: Paquito has already featured in moustache adverts.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 13, 2011)

381. Paquito's stuff.....errrrrrrrr 'stache is best seen when shaved.


----------



## tonynyc (Feb 13, 2011)

382) When Paquito makes an offer - *You don't refuse* 




 GIFSoup


----------



## AmazingAmy (Feb 13, 2011)

383. It's not over until Paquito sings.


----------



## tonynyc (Feb 13, 2011)

384) Paquito Grinder topped with Hot Peppers :happy: :eat2: :eat2: :eat1:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 14, 2011)

385. Paquito prefers another pulled pork sammich


----------



## Sasquatch! (Feb 14, 2011)

386--Paquito lives in my pants.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 14, 2011)

387. Paquito lives in Sasquatch's pants beside a big pulled pork sammich :batting:


----------



## Sasquatch! (Feb 14, 2011)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> 387. Paquito lives in Sasquatch's pants beside a big pulled pork sammich :batting:



You can pull my pork any time, GEF.

388--Chinese people have to ask Paquito's permission to marry.


----------



## tonynyc (Feb 14, 2011)

Sasquatch! said:


> You can pull my pork any time, GEF.
> 
> 388--Chinese people have to ask Paquito's permission to marry.



*If anyone is going to be pulling "Pork" don't forget to quench your thirst with *

*389. Paquito Pop*


----------



## Wolfie (Feb 15, 2011)

390. The number 1 most commonly given gift this Valentine's Day was Paquito. 
391. The Hedwig and the Angry Inch song "Sugar Daddy" is addressed directly to Paquito.


----------



## Paquito (Feb 16, 2011)

392.) Being Paquito is all about attitude. It's all about sassy fingers and shaking that weave and generally taking no nonsense from NOBODY.

393.) Being Paquito is also all about emotion. In fact, you feel so much emotion that it cannot be physically contained. Sometimes you have to close your eyes and turn your head and PUSH! PUSH YOUR FEELINGS AWAY! THEY ARE THAT BIG!


----------



## tonynyc (Feb 17, 2011)

394) Latest Dance Craze “The Paquito” takes over the Jersey Shore



 GIFSoup

395)Paquito Press



 GIFSoup


----------



## tonynyc (Mar 28, 2011)

*Bump*


396. Paquito Pizza 






*he invented the pie *


----------



## Sasquatch! (Mar 28, 2011)

tonynyc said:


> *Bump*
> 
> 
> 396. Paquito Pizza
> ...



397. Shaped like his wang.


----------



## rellis10 (Mar 28, 2011)

Sasquatch! said:


> 397. Shaped like his wang.



398: Anything made to resemble a part of his anatomy is made to a 1:1 ratio


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 2, 2011)

Paquito said:


> 392.) Being Paquito is all about attitude. It's all about sassy fingers and shaking that weave and generally taking no nonsense from NOBODY.
> 
> 393.) Being Paquito is also all about emotion. In fact, you feel so much emotion that it cannot be physically contained. Sometimes you have to close your eyes and turn your head and PUSH! PUSH YOUR FEELINGS AWAY! THEY ARE THAT BIG!



Ti hi you said......big


----------



## luvbigfellas (Apr 15, 2011)

394) Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits. Paquito sleeps, waits, and also impregnates every rabbit within a 100-mile radius just by sneezing.


----------



## tonynyc (Apr 15, 2011)

395) The 'Terminator' was impregnated by the Paquito Sneeze...


----------



## luvbigfellas (Apr 15, 2011)

396) When Paquito blinks, pigs fly.


----------



## FishCharming (Apr 20, 2011)

397) On April 19th 2011 paquito's birthday caused skynet to become self-aware.


----------



## Blackjack (Apr 21, 2011)

FishCharming said:


> 397) On April 19th 2011 paquito's birthday caused skynet to become self-aware.



I keep seeing this. Hasn't it been aware for almost 14 years now? August 29, 1997 was the date stated in _Terminator 2_, and nothing beyond that is canon.


----------



## FishCharming (Apr 21, 2011)

Blackjack said:


> I keep seeing this. Hasn't it been aware for almost 14 years now? August 29, 1997 was the date stated in _Terminator 2_, and nothing beyond that is canon.



according to the wikipedia page 1997 was when it was implemented by the military. it wasnt until 4/19/11 that it become "self-aware"; presumably because of the sheer awesomeness of paco's birthday.


----------



## ITheFire (Apr 21, 2011)

398. Paquito is what's beyond space and time.


----------



## luvbigfellas (Apr 21, 2011)

399) Paquito, not space, is the final frontier.


----------



## Sasquatch! (Apr 22, 2011)

400)Paquito could have beaten back the Persian armies. But he was having breakfast.


----------



## NancyGirl74 (Apr 22, 2011)

401...Paquito wasn't built in a day.


----------



## WVMountainrear (Apr 23, 2011)

402. Paquito destroyed the Periodic Table. The only element he believes in is the element of surprise.


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## Goreki (Apr 26, 2011)

Paquito IS your father!!!!!


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## AuntHen (Apr 26, 2011)

404. 1 Paquito, 2 Paquito, 3 Paquito, 4! 5 Paquito, 6 Paquito, 7 Paquito, more!


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## luvbigfellas (Apr 26, 2011)

405) Paquito, tequila. Coincidence? I think not!


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## Sasquatch! (Apr 26, 2011)

406) Paquito commissioned the Great Wall of China to stop barbarians stealing his jellybeans.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 1, 2011)

407. Paquito has some really tasty.....jellybeans


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## Lil BigginZ (May 1, 2011)

408. paquito shot bin laden


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 2, 2011)

409. Paquito is Bin Laden's illegitimate son from his first marriage.


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## J34 (May 5, 2011)

410. Paquito is a dish that is best served with chips and salsa


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 7, 2011)

411. Paquito's salsa is the hot and spicy kind.....oh and it's chunky too.


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## tonynyc (May 7, 2011)

412. Paquito's Salsa is "G" Rated....


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## AuntHen (May 11, 2011)

413. Every Paquito has it's thorn


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## luvbigfellas (May 12, 2011)

414. Every Paquito has its dawn.


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## Paquito (Jul 14, 2011)

415. Paquito is The Man, and loves his minions.


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## Broadside (Jul 14, 2011)

416. Paquito had eggs for breakfast, your mom had sausage.


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## rellis10 (Jul 14, 2011)

417: Paquito is better looking than you, it's true


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## Mishty (Jul 14, 2011)

418. Paquito eats problems and spits out rainbows. 
419. Paquito saved an entire family from a burning Subway, and still managed to get his footlong un-toasted.
420. Paquito can get you high just by breathing in his awesome sauce.


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## tonynyc (Jul 14, 2011)

421. The Paquito Salt and Pepper Shakers !!!!


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## spiritangel (Jul 15, 2011)

422. We know paquito put the bomp in the bomb sha bomp ba bomp and the ram in the ramma lamma ding dong but did you also know it was paquito that invented the itsy bitsy teeny weenie yellow polka dot bikini?

423. Paquito is responsible for the extinction of many species most notably the tasmanian tiger this is a closely gaurded Aussie secret soo shhhh mums the word


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## Mishty (Jul 15, 2011)

423. Paquito is the best baby daddy I've ever had, pays,plays and loves all three of our lil chirruns.


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## Sasquatch! (Jul 15, 2011)

425. Doing the shake and vac' puts the paquito back.


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## Melian (Jul 15, 2011)

426. Paq up in your ass with the resurrection.


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## spiritangel (Jul 15, 2011)

427. Paquito introduced Prince William to kate


428, If Paquito cant find you a man no one can


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## CastingPearls (Jul 15, 2011)

#429 Paquito has become more popular than Elvis in officiating at weddings in Vegas.


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## Broadside (Jul 22, 2011)

#430. Paquito is eight inches good.


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## FishCharming (Jul 23, 2011)

#431 Paco... Must... Dance!


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## gobettiepurple (Oct 13, 2011)

What happened to this awesome thread?


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## spiritangel (Oct 13, 2011)

Paco's pet cockroach was the inspiration for starship


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## Paquito (Oct 13, 2011)

432. Like this thread, Paco never dies.


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## rellis10 (Oct 13, 2011)

433: Paco never sleeps, he merely allows people a break from looking at the awesomeness of his eyes.


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## tonynyc (Oct 18, 2011)

*434* Paquito taught Steven Seagal how to shoot....


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## Sasquatch! (Oct 26, 2011)

435--Paco can shoot blanks. Fully loaded ones.


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## spiritangel (Oct 27, 2011)

435. If you give paco milk he will snort out thickshakes from his nose it is still a mystery as to how he manages to flavour them however


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## Melian (Oct 27, 2011)

436. Paquito gave Amy Crackhouse the booze that killed her.

HIGH FIVE!


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Oct 27, 2011)

437. Paquito is better than you, and so are his friends/pawns.


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## tonynyc (Oct 27, 2011)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> 437. Paquito is better than you, and so are his friends/pawns.



438. Paquito and Hozay on the same thread.... mystery solved :happy:


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## Sasquatch! (Sep 12, 2012)

439-- Paquito is ALL of the Mean Girls.

440-- Blue Steel is one of Paquito's *many* nicknames for his penis.


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## Melian (Sep 12, 2012)

441. Paquito barely posts anymore because he is allergic to d-bags.


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## seeker421 (Sep 12, 2012)

Who would win in a fight between Paquito and Chuck Norris?


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## CastingPearls (Sep 12, 2012)

442: Chuck Norris prays to and performs sacrificial killings (and ass-whuppings) honoring the Great and Wondrous All-Powerful Paquito.

443: The mantra 'Paco' is used to align all chakras and the Dalai Lama consults him for spiritual guidance. 

444. The last five Duggar offspring were actually sired by Paquito.


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## spiritangel (Sep 18, 2012)

445. Paquito is that new cast member on Glee

446. Paquitos building skills put bob the builder to shame so much when no one is looking bob the builder actually sings " Paquito the builder can he fix damn sure he can"


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## Tad (Sep 18, 2012)

447: Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr, Dean Martin....amongst themselves, they called it the "The Rat Paquito"


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## AuntHen (Oct 14, 2012)

448. Paquito also goes by the name Honey BooBoo but only in *certain *circles!


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## tonynyc (Oct 14, 2012)

449. Paquito is an Offensive Fighting Machine...



 GIFSoup

*Taught "EPIC BEARD MAN" his fighting skills *


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## Blackjack (Oct 17, 2012)

OP

OP OP OP

OPPA PACO STYLE


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## Mishty (Oct 25, 2012)

#450 - Paquito got me butt pregnant with the next Olsen twins. I haven't heard from him since.


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## Sasquatch! (Mar 29, 2013)

#451-- Paco invented Hashtags, although they were originally called "tater grids"


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## spiritangel (Mar 29, 2013)

( you dont realise how much you miss this thread till its posted in again)

452. Paquito is the easter bunny

453. Paquito lets the world have easter eggs but only if his treasure room is full of them first


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Mar 31, 2013)

454. Paquito doesn't even need to post to lord over this Forum


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## Sasquatch! (Mar 31, 2013)

455. Paquito reads the forum every day, but rarely finds a reason to actually post anymore.


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## Zowie (Mar 31, 2013)

456. Paquito came to Canada once. Six months later we're still trying to catch our breath.


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## daddyoh70 (Apr 20, 2013)

457. On the day before the first day, Paquito created God, handed him a list and said, "You have 7 days to get this done!"


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Apr 21, 2013)

daddyoh70 said:


> 457. On the day before the first day, Paquito created God, handed him a list and said, "You have 7 days to get this done!"



458. it only took him six days.


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## daddyoh70 (Apr 21, 2013)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> 458. it only took him six days.



That's because he wanted to impress Paquito...


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## Paquito (Apr 21, 2013)

I was not.


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## AuntHen (May 28, 2013)

459. Paquito bribed William Shatner to not cameo in the new Star Trek movies and instead do commercials for local "ambulance chasers" in the DC area.


(the last part is sad but true) :/


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## AuntHen (Sep 14, 2013)

460. Paquito is the one who finally got Michael Bolton to cut his hair.


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## Fuzzy (Sep 18, 2013)

461. Some say that his left nipple is in the shape of the Nürburgring and that he doesn't know what dogs are for... um.. I think I confused Paquito with the Stig.


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## Paquito (Sep 18, 2013)

462. I set the standards for who would be saved and damned in the Rapture. Have fun being tormented by demons, Steven Moffat!


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## spiritangel (Sep 18, 2013)

463. Paquito is the reason I am single, I can not say what happened but needless to say do not piss off Paquito his wrath reaches far and wide and forgiveness is not a word he deals with


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 22, 2013)

464. He's got a big cheesecake....:wubu:.





465. and I likes cheesecakes


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## Melian (Sep 24, 2013)

466. Miley Cyrus borrowed those latex shorts from Paquito.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 28, 2013)

467. Paquito has more ass to twerk in those shorts though...


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## Sasquatch! (Sep 28, 2013)

468. Paquito Has A Fat Ass.


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## AuntHen (Sep 28, 2013)

469. Paquito was the inspiration for the Thong Song


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