# How could he possibly want me?



## LadyMacPhisto (May 1, 2015)

Ok, so that's a pretty dramatic topic title especially for my first post but it's honestly why I've been seeking out fat acceptance sites/articles/blogs recently. You see, I've never dated or had sex with a man while fat despite being fat most of my life. I lost 100 lbs once and for a couple of years, I sowed some oats but then the pounds came back and I retreated back to where fat girls are told they should stay...on the sidelines. Then I met him. I was drawn to him from almost the first moment we met. I developed such a crush but knew he could never feel the same way about me because, I'm fat and he's average-size and hot. Then there were lingering looks and what seemed like flirtation. I kept telling myself it was wishful thinking but then he called me beautiful and flirted in ways that left no doubt, even for a ruthless realist like myself. So, now we're getting to the point where getting physical is inevitable but we've never discussed the fact that I'm fat. His past girlfriends are petite. I'm terrified that he'll touch me or see me and be repulsed. Is he an FA? Does he know what he's getting into? Am I worrying for nothing? Help!


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## Tad (May 2, 2015)

Welcome to Dimensions! 

New posters sometimes get their posts randomly held for moderator approval. I just approved it, and I hope you get some good answers here. 

You have posted on the BBW board, which is aimed at discussions between bbw. If you would care to also hear from guys who are attracted to bbw, you could also ask on the FA board-- there are usually guys happy to enthuse on the topic.

Good luck with finding what you are looking for, and I hope we hear more from you


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## GoodDaySir (May 2, 2015)

The slut in me says to just fuck him already.

Im confused as to why you think you need to discuss that fact that you're fat. Unless he is blind, Im sure he already knows. Fat people look fat. Honestly, you make it sound like some terrible affliction, like an STD you need to warn a potential sex partner about. Its not. 

If he wasn't attracted to YOU, he wouldn't be flirting with YOU. And he just might actually be one of those dudes who REALLY likes fat chicks. He might not even know it yet... Fat YOU could be the one to really rock his world.

From my years of being loose (I had SO MUCH FUN, still do but I've pulled back on the number of suitors, lol) I've discovered that if you have boobs of any size, he will be happy.


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## superodalisque (May 2, 2015)

LadyMacPhisto said:


> Ok, so that's a pretty dramatic topic title especially for my first post but it's honestly why I've been seeking out fat acceptance sites/articles/blogs recently. You see, I've never dated or had sex with a man while fat despite being fat most of my life. I lost 100 lbs once and for a couple of years, I sowed some oats but then the pounds came back and I retreated back to where fat girls are told they should stay...on the sidelines. Then I met him. I was drawn to him from almost the first moment we met. I developed such a crush but knew he could never feel the same way about me because, I'm fat and he's average-size and hot. Then there were lingering looks and what seemed like flirtation. I kept telling myself it was wishful thinking but then he called me beautiful and flirted in ways that left no doubt, even for a ruthless realist like myself. So, now we're getting to the point where getting physical is inevitable but we've never discussed the fact that I'm fat. His past girlfriends are petite. I'm terrified that he'll touch me or see me and be repulsed. Is he an FA? Does he know what he's getting into? Am I worrying for nothing? Help!


 

yes you are worrying for nothing. he is pursuing you. he wants you. stop being paranoid and enjoy yourself and him. to him you are already hot, which is why things are going where they are. 

um and I think he already knows you're fat unless he is blind.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 2, 2015)

I've felt varying degrees of insecurity with men through out the course of my life....at different sizes. I understand exactly what you are feeling/thinking.
Why the need to discuss "being fat"? Sounds to me like you want him to tell you he digs it/can get past it/doesn't mind or something along those lines.

Simply put: Men.....if they want to do the deed with you.....they will find a way to let you know it. The same as when you were a smaller size. 

Stop worrying...and let nature take it's course.


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## Yakatori (May 3, 2015)

LadyMacPhisto said:


> "_..we've never discussed the fact that I'm fat. ...I'm terrified that he'll touch me or see me and be repulsed. Is he an FA? Does he know what he's getting into?_"


He already knows...

That you're fat. As to the rest of you, more or less commensurate with what you know about him.

So, what if YOU change YOUR mind? About him. (Has that ever happened to you?) If so, can you now know what for?

Then, in that case, should this turn side-ways, resolve now that it's not about fat. Is that fair?


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## Ssaylleb (May 3, 2015)

if he's flirting and things have reached about to get physical then:
A) he thinks you're hot
B) he noticed you're not a size 0
c) he wants to shag your pants off

If still not comfortable just talk to him about it.

have fun!


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## Yakatori (May 3, 2015)

FrankBell said:


> "_....may be a bucket list thing or true love..
> 
> You are pretty judging y your photo.nice blue eyes
> Perfect teeth young looking big bosoms
> ...



Why am I imagining you delivering this in the inflection of a film-noir gangster...?

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACTkVM6t_bo[/ame]


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## LadyMacPhisto (May 3, 2015)

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read and reply. It helps more than I can say to have some support, validation and kick in the pants &#55357;&#56842;. Green Eyed Fairy, you get exactly where I'm coming from and it's nice to know someone does. I'm going to do everything I can to stop worrying, believe he wants me just as I am and go for it. Thanks again, hopefully I'll have an update sometime soon.


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## Yakatori (May 3, 2015)

Look, it can't be that you're really that..._obtuse_.

So, it just begs the question:

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bytoID_SNnE[/ame]


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## ecogeek (May 4, 2015)

Frankbell, frankly, you creep me the eff out.


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## Gingembre (May 4, 2015)

FrankBell said:


> Don't sell yourelf short girl; most likely. the guy
> 
> Likes you because of your size





FrankBell said:


> What do you tip scales at dear ?
> 
> I,m thinking you are likely not even very
> 
> ...



None of this on the BBW board please. This is what we're here to avoid. Ugh.

OP - I echo the "just go for it" comments! I've been where you are so many times, but most guys have a broad spectrum of tastes and whether he is or isn't into fat as a 'thing' it sounds like he is definitely in to you. He will have an idea of what you look like with your clothes off from what you look like with your clothes on. Try not to worry, just enjoy what's happening. If you have particular concerns that won't budge, talk to him about it. Good luck!


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## CurvyLolita (May 6, 2015)

Holy crap you sound like me! I get that guys see I'm fat but I guess I want some verbal reassurance from them too? Idk. Also I worry they are just trying to use me because they think I will sleep around cuz my body issues. Don't they call it "going hoggin" or something


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## Ruby Ripples (May 6, 2015)

CurvyLolita said:


> Holy crap you sound like me! I get that guys see I'm fat but I guess I want some verbal reassurance from them too? Idk. Also I worry they are just trying to use me because they think I will sleep around cuz my body issues. Don't they call it "going hoggin" or something



Any chance we can keep THIS off this board.

The only people that say "hoggin" are utter morons. Not normal people. Jesus.


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## CurvyLolita (May 6, 2015)

Well ok then. Actually if you could read I DONT say that, but I hear other people refer to it that way which is why I have a complex. I was trying to sympathize with the poster about how I feel the same way and why I feel that way. I thought this was a place where we could speak openly? Apparently not. I mean who else am I gonna ask these questions to if not fellow BBW? And you're an arsehole. Way to welcome people. I guess this place isn't for me. Thanks a lot. I am so depressed I am suicidal and I don't even fit in with fat people now. So much for finding support here. Ok. I'm out. Good luck to the original poster. Hope it works out for you.


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## CurvyLolita (May 6, 2015)

If there's a way, can an admin please delete my posts and especially pictures for me? I'm not sure how. Thank you.


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## superodalisque (May 7, 2015)

Ruby Ripples said:


> Any chance we can keep THIS off this board.
> 
> The only people that say "hoggin" are utter morons. Not normal people. Jesus.


 

way to go, attacking a new person instead of helping them. no wonder she wants to delete everything. I hope she doesn't leave.


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## superodalisque (May 7, 2015)

CurvyLolita said:


> Well ok then. Actually if you could read I DONT say that, but I hear other people refer to it that way which is why I have a complex. I was trying to sympathize with the poster about how I feel the same way and why I feel that way. I thought this was a place where we could speak openly? Apparently not. I mean who else am I gonna ask these questions to if not fellow BBW? And you're an arsehole. Way to welcome people. I guess this place isn't for me. Thanks a lot. I am so depressed I am suicidal and I don't even fit in with fat people now. So much for finding support here. Ok. I'm out. Good luck to the original poster. Hope it works out for you.


 
don't pay that mess any attention


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## Tracyarts (May 7, 2015)

Ruby Ripples said:


> Any chance we can keep THIS off this board.
> 
> The only people that say "hoggin" are utter morons. Not normal people. Jesus.



Why keep it off the board? It's something that we, as fat women, have to deal with. Morons are everywhere, a lot of us have encountered this kind of treatment and this kind of attitude.

I even encountered it at a fat positive event. 

It's completely relevant given the purpose of the forum.


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## CurvyLolita (May 7, 2015)

Thanks people. Sorry about my drama queen moment. PMS mixed with life spiraling out of control makes for a snippy diva. I guess I will try to watch my words. I truly am surprised that offended though.


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## JolieRonde (May 7, 2015)

Even if i didn't , even in my worst moments , asked me how a man i like could possibly want me , i understand the way you feel . When i was younger , and just a little curvy i remember i'd thought " what will happen if he finds me bigger than i look when have my clothes on" , i think it's a natural thing to think of, even tiny woman thiink of it,but don't worry , he wants you and he'll certainly not thinking of you as a " fat woman" but just as a woman he likes.


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## BBWanastasia (May 7, 2015)

I think a lot of girls have these worries. Just relax, take a deep breath and enjoy, if he's into you already and you haven't had sex then he's really into you. Don't let your worries ruin a great thing.


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## GoodDaySir (May 7, 2015)

Its weird how your perception of your own body can be so off, ya know? Just this morning, I was attempting to get dressed, but had to wait until my male friend left the room. I was afraid he would see my fat! But guess what... he's seen my fat hundreds of times! We had just had sex, for crying out loud! I was so frustrated with myself. I even said it to him... "I dont know why Im being shy, you've seen all this before." He just laughed and excused himself, cause he's a gentleman (sometimes).


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## ALS (May 7, 2015)

CurvyLolita said:


> Thanks people. Sorry about my drama queen moment. PMS mixed with life spiraling out of control makes for a snippy diva. I guess I will try to watch my words. I truly am surprised that offended though.




It's okay--no apologies needed.  I suffer from several mental disorders, and I become upset often. In addition: you didn't say anything hurtful. You sound like a wonderful person. I have also struggled with suicidal thoughts. However, not to sound cliche, but: you are a beautiful person. Your posts exhibit your wonderful personality. Don't worry about your weight--you are beautiful. Ignore negative influences, and cut such bad energy out of your life. Love your body, and find people that love and accept the physical, spiritual, and mental parts of yourself. You'll find your paradise--just follow your heart and your intuition.


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## ALS (May 7, 2015)

I'm not saying that you have a mental disorder. I just meant that I can relate to feeling upset by biological processes.


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## CurvyLolita (May 7, 2015)

ALS said:


> It's okay--no apologies needed.  I suffer from several mental disorders, and I become upset often. In addition: you didn't say anything hurtful. You sound like a wonderful person. I have also struggled with suicidal thoughts. However, not to sound cliche, but: you are a beautiful person. Your posts exhibit your wonderful personality. Don't worry about your weight--you are beautiful. Ignore negative influences, and cut such bad energy out of your life. Love your body, and find people that love and accept the physical, spiritual, and mental parts of yourself. You'll find your paradise--just follow your heart and your intuition.




Thanks you. I know I'm a good person. I also am in the middle of making sweeping life changes. Been a long time coming but it's stressful. I just try to remind myself that God has a reason for everything. I may not see it now but hopefully soon, I will


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## CurvyLolita (May 7, 2015)

ALS said:


> I'm not saying that you have a mental disorder. I just meant that I can relate to feeling upset by biological processes.



Hmmm mmmm, surrreeeee


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## ALS (May 7, 2015)

CurvyLolita said:


> Hmmm mmmm, surrreeeee




Haha, well, I must say: we have AWESOME cheesecake on the dark side.
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/


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## ALS (May 7, 2015)

CurvyLolita said:


> Thanks you. I know I'm a good person. I also am in the middle of making sweeping life changes. Been a long time coming but it's stressful. I just try to remind myself that God has a reason for everything. I may not see it now but hopefully soon, I will




No problem! : ) Good luck with everything! 
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/


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## tummylovin'003 (Jul 2, 2015)

LadyMacPhisto said:


> Ok, so that's a pretty dramatic topic title especially for my first post but it's honestly why I've been seeking out fat acceptance sites/articles/blogs recently. You see, I've never dated or had sex with a man while fat despite being fat most of my life. I lost 100 lbs once and for a couple of years, I sowed some oats but then the pounds came back and I retreated back to where fat girls are told they should stay...on the sidelines. Then I met him. I was drawn to him from almost the first moment we met. I developed such a crush but knew he could never feel the same way about me because, I'm fat and he's average-size and hot. Then there were lingering looks and what seemed like flirtation. I kept telling myself it was wishful thinking but then he called me beautiful and flirted in ways that left no doubt, even for a ruthless realist like myself. So, now we're getting to the point where getting physical is inevitable but we've never discussed the fact that I'm fat. His past girlfriends are petite. I'm terrified that he'll touch me or see me and be repulsed. Is he an FA? Does he know what he's getting into? Am I worrying for nothing? Help!




I've been going through the exact same thing for the past few months...all his previous girlfriends have been petiete, and I really am not his usual type. I was absolutely terrified to show him my body, I wasted so much time and energy and what could have been amazing sex if I hadn't of been constantly putting myself down, hiding and faulting myself. Everything I hate(d) about myself were things he either loves or doesn't even notice! 

Everything is alway SO much scarier in your head... Just act confident, act sexy, and everything else will come naturally! :smitten: :kiss2:


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## agouderia (Jul 2, 2015)

tummylovin'003 said:


> Everything is alway SO much scarier in your head...



Soooo true!

One of the curses of a vivid and active imagination!


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## lucca23v2 (Jul 2, 2015)

I will give you advice to be careful.. There are plenty of guys out there who are completely into big women in private, but not in public. I know a few guys who are like that. Just make sure he is completely the same with you in public as when in private. We pick up cues from people that we are not consciously aware of, but our brains try to warm us about.

That being said, if he is the same with you in public as when in private, then get out of your own head and go for it. He is into you. The things we obsess about, men don't even realize. We get caught up in our own insecurities and that just because we think it is a bad thing, others may not see it as a bad thing.


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