# What we tell ourselves and what it does to us



## superodalisque (Feb 23, 2011)

i saw this on the today show yesterday morning and thought it was actually pretty helpful:

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/41715498#41715498


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## Jes (Feb 23, 2011)

superodalisque said:


> i saw this on the today show yesterday morning and thought it was actually pretty helpful:
> 
> http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/41715498#41715498



Cindy's comment about how women bond over this kind of thing is true, and realllllly a dysfunctional thing in which women engage. We should stop that and, if we hear it from someone else, try to make it a teaching moment instead of joining in OR ignoring it.


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## superodalisque (Feb 24, 2011)

Jes said:


> Cindy's comment about how women bond over this kind of thing is true, and realllllly a dysfunctional thing in which women engage. We should stop that and, if we hear it from someone else, try to make it a teaching moment instead of joining in OR ignoring it.



yeah that bothers me too. what bothers me more is how we seem to get so very angry if another woman isn't engaged in the self hate mode. i think for women its become a non threatening way to be friends. you don't tempt jealousy, competition etc...but it can end up with people feeling its fine to hate themselves --in fact it becomes a desirable trait. meanwhile we make ourselves miserable over our looks in private. so a woman can end up trading her self acceptance for acceptance in a group if she isn't careful. the bad thing about that is if you are ever on the outs for any reason you are totally on the outs, even with yourself.


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## Jes (Feb 24, 2011)

I think we're a culture of complainers. I remember hearing a radio story about how people bond over negatives and positive people are seen as pollyannas who no one wants to be around. The example given was of entering a room of people who are strangers--say, a classroom on the first day of a college course. If you walk in and say: Ohmygod, it's so early in the morning! I hate calculus. I hear the Prof. is a moron: you get a bunch of head nods and discussion and immediately everyone is more comfortable. If you walk in and say: Wow, I'm excited about this class. I want to learn about calculus. I hear the Prof is really good: you tend to get crickets and tumbleweeds.

Why do we set the horizon of expectations so low? Why are we happier bitching? I don't know. But I DO know that I want all you kids off my front lawn, NOW!


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## superodalisque (Feb 24, 2011)

here's the link to the article they're talking about: http://www.glamour.com/health-fitne...-of-women-will-be-cruel-to-their-bodies-today


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## superodalisque (Feb 24, 2011)

one interesting excerpt that makes me wonder if the rampant issues regarding health problems have more to do with our mental state than anything else--that and what means girls that aren't us actually say to us.

Silencing Your Inner “Mean Girl”
So how can you muzzle that insulting internal voice and get on with your life? “I’m way too hard on myself, but I don’t know how to lessen my negative thoughts,” admits Rebecca Illson, 25, of Birmingham, Michigan, who counted 50 of them over the course of the day. And that age-old advice to “love your body” is—let’s be honest—trite and unhelpful. “It’s not about achieving a &#8216;perfect’ body image. That’s not realistic,” says Wood-Barcalow. “Even the most confident women have doubts. But they’ve learned to combat those thoughts rather than allow them to take over.”

It’s worth it for not just the mental peace but your physical health as well. Research at the University of British Columbia, Vancouver, suggests that women who obsess over their body and diet have chronically elevated levels of the stress hormone cortisol (even when their life is not otherwise stressed)—and, as a result, may suffer from elevated blood pressure, lower bone density, higher amounts of unhealthy belly fat and even menstrual problems. “And this was among women in their twenties!” exclaims lead researcher Jennifer Bedford, Ph.D. “If you continue on this path, it could have a real impact on heart, bone and reproductive health 10 or 20 years down the road.”



Read More http://www.glamour.com/health-fitne...-be-cruel-to-their-bodies-today#ixzz1Ew4iSp67


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## 1love_emily (Mar 14, 2011)

I believe that we think about ourselves reflects a lot of our actions. 

Like me, for instance. I have this facade that I'm cool and confident and bubbly and stuff - but as soon as someone makes a little dig, I break down and I withdraw... it sucks.

I try to tell myself that I am worth it. I try to remind myself that I am loved, I am worth it, I am okay.


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