# are fat women who eat in my bed irresponsible?



## Leonard (Jun 18, 2010)

As I am sure you are all by now plainly aware, I love me the fatties. 

So, I got this problem, see? My problem is every time I bring some sexy porker back to my swingin' bachelor pad to play hide-the-roll-of-quarters, she always ends up EATING IN MY BED. 

It's like this. We have our fun, I skip off the the loo to freshen up, and when I get back there's a BUCKET OF CHICKEN ON HER LAP. Where did it come from? I don't know. From between her fat rolls? Probably. All I know is by the time she waddles out my sheets are a battlefield of grease stains and breaded crumbs. 

Now, I know what you're going to say. "Doesn't she clean up after herself?" No. She can't. She can't clean up after herself because she's too fat. They all are. ALL FAT GIRLS ARE LIKE THIS. 

Which brings me to my question: is this not irresponsible? If you are going to smuggle a bucket of chicken between your rolls into a gentleman's bed, should you not also smuggle in a petite cleaning woman who will leave the bed as you found it?

Oh, and before you reply, the answer is yes.


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## toni (Jun 18, 2010)

Don't you mean play hide the half roll of dimes? 

:happy:


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## Lamia (Jun 18, 2010)

lol I have an entire cleaning crew of "wee folk" living in me rolls what clean up after me. They run out of my cleavage and hoover up the crumbs. Sometimes they're injured because they think I am done eating and more debris falls upon them as they clean, BUT I am NEVER done eating....


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## Leonard (Jun 18, 2010)

toni said:


> Don't you mean play hide the half roll of dimes?



Yes. Thank you for the correction.



Lamia said:


> lol I have an entire cleaning crew of "wee folk" living in me rolls what clean up after me. They run out of my cleavage and hoover up the crumbs. Sometimes they're injured because they think I am done eating and more debris falls upon them as they clean, BUT I am NEVER done eating....



These "wee folk", do they participate in the sexual exploits preceding your mastication? I only ask because I've been trying to coordinate a wee folk threesome for some time, or as I refer to it, a "wee-some".


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## Russell Williams (Jun 18, 2010)

In my high school boys talked about the 4 F club.

Find them,

Feel them

Engange in an act of sexual intercourse with them

Forget them.


Your post brought back momories of that and made me wonder if you are a member of that club.

If you like fat women at the bare minimum you should be a member of the insensitive and uncaring 5 F club.

Find then

Feed them

Feel them

Engange in an act of sexual intercourse with them

Forget them.


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## ShazzyBombshell (Jun 18, 2010)

Eating in bed for me is a huge NO NO... The thought of crumbs, fat or anyother such things on my sheets while i am trying to sleep puts me off doing it. 
I am kinda a clean freak.. Not a neat freak tho :S lol


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## Leonard (Jun 18, 2010)

I am not a member of the 4-F club, Russell, but I _am_ a member of the 4-F&M club.

Find them

Feel them

Engange in an act of sexual intercourse with them

MURDER THEM

Forget them.



Russell Williams said:


> In my high school boys talked about the 4 F club.
> 
> Find them,
> 
> ...


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## TraciJo67 (Jun 18, 2010)

Leonard said:


> I am not a member of the 4-F club, Russell, but I _am_ a member of the 4-F&M club.
> 
> Find them
> 
> ...


 
Leonard, could you reverse the order a bit? Murder before sexual congress sounds damn exciting to me!


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## Ash (Jun 18, 2010)

You know, Leonard, I only did that ONCE. I don't appreciate how you keep bringing it up, and the call I got from your mother afterward was really just overkill. 

Ok, I get it. You don't like greasy sheets. Well I don't like how I had to go a full four minutes without a snack while we had sex. What kind of monster are you?! It's really a good thing I had that bucket of chicken with me. I could have starved. 

And you know how hard it has been for me to find a new small maid to live between my rolls since Maria's tragic accident. How do I tell new candidates that I crushed my previous employee when I bent over to baste my afternoon turkey? It's not easy. Maybe you'll think about that next time and consider having a clean-up crew on hand. 

I can't plan for every contingency, and if I happen to find a couple short-stacks of pancakes in a thigh crease next time I'm over, I'm going to eat them. If you don't like the idea of your bed smelling like butter and maple syrup, the very least you can do is pit down a tarp.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Jun 18, 2010)

I think you're being a tad fussy, Leonard: fried chicken isn't hard to clean up. Out here in Oklahoma, we have gals who eat LIVE chickens in bed. Now that's messy.


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## cinnamitch (Jun 18, 2010)

Ashley said:


> You know, Leonard, I only did that ONCE. I don't appreciate how you keep bringing it up, and the call I got from your mother afterward was really just overkill.
> 
> Ok, I get it. You don't like greasy sheets. Well I don't like how I had to go a full four minutes without a snack while we had sex. What kind of monster are you?! It's really a good thing I had that bucket of chicken with me. I could have starved.
> 
> ...



So THAT'S what they call it now:happy:


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## Blackjack (Jun 18, 2010)




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## snuggletiger (Jun 18, 2010)

I wish I had your burden Leonard, I wouldn't complain. Nice lady, nice evening, maybe if you had been nice she'd have given you a chicken leg for snack.


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## cinnamitch (Jun 18, 2010)

I thought that it was a given that women eat in bed with a man. I mean isn't the man always wanting the woman to taste his sausage?


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## disconnectedsmile (Jun 18, 2010)

ShazzyBombshell said:


> Eating in bed for me is a huge NO NO... The thought of crumbs, fat or anyother such things on my sheets while i am trying to sleep puts me off doing it.
> I am kinda a clean freak.. Not a neat freak tho :S lol



you mean you AREN'T a stereotype? 
how dare you!


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## Leonard (Jun 18, 2010)

Ashley said:


> And you know how hard it has been for me to find a new small maid to live between my rolls since Maria's tragic accident. How do I tell new candidates that I crushed my previous employee when I bent over to baste my afternoon turkey?







*MARIA VILLALOBOS (1968-2009)
"You Were The Wind Beneath Her Chicken Wings"
*​


Dr. Feelgood said:


> I think you're being a tad fussy, Leonard: fried chicken isn't hard to clean up. Out here in Oklahoma, we have gals who eat LIVE chickens in bed. Now that's messy.



See, but at least when it's _live_ chickens, you can hear their panicked clucking from between her rolls, warning all to stay clear. Friend chicken doesn't cluck. 



cinnamitch said:


> I thought that it was a given that women eat in bed with a man. I mean isn't the man always wanting the woman to taste his sausage?



This is a serious thread and I resent your crude innuendo.


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## Fat Brian (Jun 18, 2010)

Can I have "fried chicken doesn't cluck" as part of my sig ?


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## CastingPearls (Jun 18, 2010)

I am SO irresponsible I must be spanked. Frequently.


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## Dromond (Jun 19, 2010)

This thread is full of win.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jun 19, 2010)

Hahahahahaha. <3 This thread.

Also, I tried to rep Toni but couldn't.


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## Lamia (Jun 19, 2010)

Leonard said:


> Yes. Thank you for the correction.
> 
> 
> 
> These "wee folk", do they participate in the sexual exploits preceding your mastication? I only ask because I've been trying to coordinate a wee folk threesome for some time, or as I refer to it, a "wee-some".



lol The "wee folk" come from hearty puritan stalk and don't indulge in such debauchery. Their ancestors were cursed during the Salem Witch trials. So now they are doomed to janitorial duties for the morbidly obese. I was very lucky to get them. My rolls are lemon fresh and they always sprinkle everything with sparkly dust. My fat is Disco ready.


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## Littleghost (Jun 19, 2010)

Ashley said:


> You know, Leonard, I only did that ONCE. I don't appreciate how you keep bringing it up, and the call I got from your mother afterward was really just overkill.
> 
> Ok, I get it. You don't like greasy sheets. Well I don't like how I had to go a full four minutes without a snack while we had sex. What kind of monster are you?! It's really a good thing I had that bucket of chicken with me. I could have starved.
> 
> ...



Leonard, you missed one. FINISH THE JOB. 

View attachment chef_knife.jpeg


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## Ash (Jun 19, 2010)

Littleghost said:


> Leonard, you missed one. FINISH THE JOB.



He tried. The truth is that I'm just too fat to fatally injure by stabbing. There isn't a knife long enough. IN THE WORLD.


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## velia (Jun 19, 2010)

Leonard said:


> As I am sure you are all by now plainly aware, I love me the fatties.
> 
> So, I got this problem, see? My problem is every time I bring some sexy porker back to my swingin' bachelor pad to play hide-the-roll-of-quarters, she always ends up EATING IN MY BED.
> 
> ...





Ashley said:


> You know, Leonard, I only did that ONCE. I don't appreciate how you keep bringing it up, and the call I got from your mother afterward was really just overkill.
> 
> Ok, I get it. You don't like greasy sheets. Well I don't like how I had to go a full four minutes without a snack while we had sex. What kind of monster are you?! It's really a good thing I had that bucket of chicken with me. I could have starved.
> 
> ...



I so wish I could rep you guys-- best. posts. ever. <3



Dromond said:


> This thread is full of win.



I used up all my rep on this thread.


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## Littleghost (Jun 19, 2010)

Ashley said:


> He tried. The truth is that I'm just too fat to fatally injure by stabbing. There isn't a knife long enough. IN THE WORLD.



Personally, I think it's a waste. But a man has to stick to his convictions, after all. :bounce:


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## Leonard (Jun 19, 2010)

Fat Brian said:


> Can I have "fried chicken doesn't cluck" as part of my sig ?



Yes, but only if you spell it "fried" and not "friend", like I did. I don't know what "friend chicken" is, but Charlton Heston and I do not approve.






"friend chicken is people!"​


CastingPearls said:


> I am SO irresponsible I must be spanked. Frequently.



The last time I spanked a fatty a Devil Dog popped out of her bellybutton, followed by a three-hour lecture in which I informed her of how irresponsible she was. 



Littleghost said:


> Leonard, you missed one. FINISH THE JOB.





Ashley said:


> He tried. The truth is that I'm just too fat to fatally injure by stabbing. There isn't a knife long enough. IN THE WORLD.





Littleghost said:


> Personally, I think it's a waste. But a man has to stick to his convictions, after all. :bounce:



A waste of knives, you mean? I agree. I lost my entire Rachael Ray Kitchen Set before I gave up and ordered her a pizza.


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## Ash (Jun 19, 2010)

Leonard said:


> A waste of knives, you mean? I agree. I lost my entire Rachael Ray Kitchen Set before I gave up and ordered her a pizza.



These are going to come in really handy next time I find a ribeye under my belly. I hope you're keeping the A1 on your nightstand like we discussed.


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## Lamia (Jun 19, 2010)

LOL is "friend" chicken the phenom of when you're stranded on an island and you look at your friend and see a chicken leg and he/she looks at you and sees a hamburger?


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## Dr. Feelgood (Jun 19, 2010)

Lamia said:


> LOL is "friend" chicken the phenom of when you're stranded on an island and you look at your friend and see a chicken leg and he/she looks at you and sees a hamburger?




No, a "friend" chicken is when you're stranded on an island with a chicken, and you look at it and see a Paysite goddess. :blush:


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## Gingembre (Jun 19, 2010)

Personally, I love meat & 2 veg in the bedroom. Best place for it. :eat2:


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## CastingPearls (Jun 19, 2010)

Leonard said:


> The last time I spanked a fatty a Devil Dog popped out of her bellybutton, followed by a three-hour lecture in which I informed her of how irresponsible she was.



Now that's MY idea of foreplay.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jun 19, 2010)

Personally, I smuggle in only creamy foods. Therefore, no crumbs. And if some of the yummy spills, I just lick it up.


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## Paquito (Jun 19, 2010)

This thread implies that said fat women don't eat every single crumb and suck up every bit of grease, in order to make sure that nothing is wasted.

FALSE


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## Fat.n.sassy (Jun 20, 2010)

Leonard said:


> Yes, but only if you spell it "fried" and not "friend", like I did. I don't know what "friend chicken" is, but Charlton Heston and I do not approve.
> 
> LOVE the Soylent Green reference!


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## Wild Zero (Jun 20, 2010)

Is this the thread for skinny weirdos who ogle fat women on the train while bashing them online?


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## NoWayOut (Jun 20, 2010)

Ashley said:


> You know, Leonard, I only did that ONCE. I don't appreciate how you keep bringing it up, and the call I got from your mother afterward was really just overkill.
> 
> Ok, I get it. You don't like greasy sheets. Well I don't like how I had to go a full four minutes without a snack while we had sex. What kind of monster are you?! It's really a good thing I had that bucket of chicken with me. I could have starved.
> 
> ...



That response was phenomenal.


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## Jay West Coast (Jun 21, 2010)

Just when I thought the today was all out of awesome, I found this thread. Hahahhaha, excellent.


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## pdgujer148 (Jun 21, 2010)

What do you mean that "To Serve Man" isn't a sex aid ?!?

Put down that fork woman!

ARRGGHHHH!


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## msbard90 (Jun 21, 2010)

Wild Zero said:


> Is this the thread for skinny weirdos who ogle fat women on the train while bashing them online?



Nope. That was so yesterday.


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## iglooboy55 (Jun 22, 2010)

Wild Zero said:


> Is this the thread for skinny weirdos who ogle fat women on the train while bashing them online?



i resent that, but i also approve of the usage of the word ogle at all times.

clean sheets = #1 priority


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jun 22, 2010)

I approve of the correct spelling of the word ogle. OOGLE is not a word, people! lol


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## Theresa48 (Jun 22, 2010)

Somehow, I find the OP to be somewhat offensive...I mean, really...he enjoys the sex,
goes off to refresh himself and leaves the poor fat gal to fend for herself! The proper thing to do would be to have plenty of refreshments on hand for her...popcorn covered with yummy butter, ice cold beer to suck down, a few boxes of chocolate covered cherries to play "hide in the sumptuous folds and seek" (one of my favorite games) and of course, ice cream...loads and loads of ice cream. Sigh...what is this world coming to?


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## Dr. Feelgood (Jun 22, 2010)

Theresa48 said:


> Sigh...what is this world coming to?



And why are we in this handbasket?


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## CastingPearls (Jun 22, 2010)

Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.


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## Captain Save (Jun 23, 2010)

Theresa48 said:


> The proper thing to do would be to have plenty of refreshments on hand for her...popcorn covered with yummy butter, ice cold beer to suck down, a few boxes of chocolate covered cherries to play "hide in the sumptuous folds and seek" (one of my favorite games) and of course, ice cream...loads and loads of ice cream.



If I went to refresh myself and found my girl with all of this on my bed when I got back, we would NOT be finished; we would just be getting started all over again.

To top it all off, we'd have croissants and coffee in bed after a good night's sleep.


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## msbard90 (Jun 23, 2010)

Captain Save said:


> If I went to refresh myself and found my girl with all of this on my bed when I got back, we would NOT be finished; we would just be getting started all over again.
> 
> To top it all off, we'd have croissants and coffee in bed *after* a good night's sleep.



Correction: those croissants and coffee would be in the bed BEFORE and WHILE we sleep. :eat2:


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## Wagimawr (Jun 23, 2010)

Leonard said:


> she always ends up EATING IN MY BED.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jun 24, 2010)

So I told my husband about this thread. Well the other night after some good loving he excused himself and got up to go and get freshened up. Then he stopped in the doorway and just looked at me. I asked him "What's the matter?" He said "I'm waiting to see where you hid the bucket of chicken!"


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## imfree (Jun 24, 2010)

It's true........a fat woman who eats in my bed is very
irresponsible 'cuz by doing so, she is about to make
contact with a "live wire"(me)!:smitten:


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## JerseyGirl07093 (Jun 24, 2010)

Leonard said:


> Yes, but only if you spell it "fried" and not "friend", like I did. I don't know what "friend chicken" is, but Charlton Heston and I do not approve.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



You can have my friend chicken when you pry it from my cold, dead hands!  :eat2:


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jun 24, 2010)

D_A_Bunny said:


> So I told my husband about this thread. Well the other night after some good loving he excused himself and got up to go and get freshened up. Then he stopped in the doorway and just looked at me. I asked him "What's the matter?" He said "I'm waiting to see where you hid the bucket of chicken!"



Can't. stop. laughing. Rep coming your way, Missy.


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## Leonard (Jun 25, 2010)

Ashley said:


> These are going to come in really handy next time I find a ribeye under my belly. I hope you're keeping the A1 on your nightstand like we discussed.



Actually, I've opted to go with another brand aimed to satisfy both our needs.​



Frankly, I don't think you're ready for this jelly.​


D_A_Bunny said:


> Personally, I smuggle in only creamy foods. Therefore, no crumbs. And if some of the yummy spills, I just lick it up.



I will admit, I appreciate any porker who leaks yogurt when tickled -- er, I mean, no! Irresponsible! They're all irresponsible slobs! And just try licking gravy out of a suede carpet, I dare you!



Paquito said:


> This thread implies that said fat women don't eat every single crumb and suck up every bit of grease, in order to make sure that nothing is wasted.
> 
> FALSE



I'm sorry, but it's common knowledge that fat women are inherently messy. If they were truly clean, they wouldn't have all those excess flabby bits hanging off them and jiggling about, now would they? That sir, is science.



Wild Zero said:


> Is this the thread for skinny weirdos who ogle fat women on the train while bashing them online?



I don't understand. Is this in reference to some other, less responsible thread?



Theresa48 said:


> Somehow, I find the OP to be somewhat offensive...I mean, really...he enjoys the sex,
> goes off to refresh himself and leaves the poor fat gal to fend for herself! The proper thing to do would be to have plenty of refreshments on hand for her...popcorn covered with yummy butter, ice cold beer to suck down, a few boxes of chocolate covered cherries to play "hide in the sumptuous folds and seek" (one of my favorite games) and of course, ice cream...loads and loads of ice cream. Sigh...what is this world coming to?



Oh yes, and while I'm at it, why don't I leave a pyromaniac alone with a box of matches. Honestly, if I wanted her eating post-coitus I'd fuck her on the dining room table! Anywhere else would be...well...you know.



D_A_Bunny said:


> So I told my husband about this thread. Well the other night after some good loving he excused himself and got up to go and get freshened up. Then he stopped in the doorway and just looked at me. I asked him "What's the matter?" He said "I'm waiting to see where you hid the bucket of chicken!"



I should take a page from this hubby of yours. From now on, all sexual relations with yours truly will be preceded by a fully-body cavity search, or "foreplay". Hey, anything for clean sheets.


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## Ash (Jun 25, 2010)

Leonard said:


> Frankly, I don't think you're ready for this jelly.[/center]



You know, that variety is pretty tasty, but I prefer the alfredo sauce flavored lube. The ranch dressing flavor is delightful as well, though. 

It's probably best if you keep a full stock of condiment lubrication around. You never know what I'm going to find hidden in my rolls on any given day.


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## CaitiDee (Jun 25, 2010)

I think somebody has a crush.


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## Blackjack (Jun 25, 2010)

CaitiDee said:


> I think somebody has a crush.



Yeah, whoever's between them rolls of hers.


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## Leonard (Jun 26, 2010)

CaitiDee said:


> I think somebody has a crush.



Shhh! Russell will hear you!


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## D_A_Bunny (Jun 28, 2010)

Ashley said:


> You know, that variety is pretty tasty, but I prefer the alfredo sauce flavored lube. The ranch dressing flavor is delightful as well, though.
> 
> It's probably best if you keep a full stock of condiment lubrication around. You never know what I'm going to find hidden in my rolls on any given day.



This is possibly off topic, but your post made me remember something funny. There was a short lived reality show on MTV that featured a rap group, can't remember the name right now. One of them had a big girlfriend that came to the house for the weekend.

So her man is upstairs and she comes down into the kitchen and the rest of the group are just hanging around. And she goes into the refrigerator and they ask her what she is looking for. So she tells them her man likes to suck her toes and she is looking for some whipped cream to put on her feet.

So they tell her we don't have any of that here. So she grabs a bottle of ranch dressing and pours it into a bowl and then pours sugar into it and stirs it in and says "This will do."

I felt so bad for that guy, thinking he is getting something sweet and instead it was so ranch dressing mixed up with sugar. Did anyone else see this?


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## Ash (Jun 29, 2010)

D_A_Bunny said:


> Did anyone else see this?



Didn't see it.

I will say this, though. I won't be licking anything off of anyone's toes anytime soon, but, as a rule, all foodstuffs in the bedroom are belong to me.


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## isamarie69 (Jun 29, 2010)

Leonard said:


> As I am sure you are all by now plainly aware, I love me the fatties.
> 
> So, I got this problem, see? My problem is every time I bring some sexy porker back to my swingin' bachelor pad to play hide-the-roll-of-quarters, she always ends up EATING IN MY BED.
> 
> ...




I agree she was irresponsible, But not for not cleaning up. But because She didn't bring mashed potatoes and biscuits!!!! HONESTLY!


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## Captain Save (Jun 29, 2010)

D_A_Bunny said:


> This is possibly off topic, but your post made me remember something funny. There was a short lived reality show on MTV that featured a rap group, can't remember the name right now. One of them had a big girlfriend that came to the house for the weekend.
> 
> So her man is upstairs and she comes down into the kitchen and the rest of the group are just hanging around. And she goes into the refrigerator and they ask her what she is looking for. So she tells them her man likes to suck her toes and she is looking for some whipped cream to put on her feet.
> 
> ...



I remember this scene, and it's going to haunt me until I remember the group or the show they were on. That haunting is going to last awhile, since I don't usually pay much attention to reality television. If I remember correctly, she had a little bit of a soft southern accent. Wasn't the guy a BHM as well?

Maybe she should have been responsible, and brought out the mashed potatoes and biscuits, since the toe jam was already on the scene.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jun 29, 2010)

Captain Save said:


> I remember this scene, and it's going to haunt me until I remember the group or the show they were on. That haunting is going to last awhile, since I don't usually pay much attention to reality television. If I remember correctly, she had a little bit of a soft southern accent. Wasn't the guy a BHM as well?
> 
> Maybe she should have been responsible, and brought out the mashed potatoes and biscuits, since the toe jam was already on the scene.



Yes, he was a BHM and apparently the other group members did not know of his love of the toes, prior to her telling them. To this day when I put a bottle of ranch dressing on the table (which is not very often, but occassionally), my husband will ask me "Ooh, you gonna put some sugar in that?"

And mashed potatoes would have been a much better choice.


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## missy_blue_eyez (Jun 30, 2010)

Ahhhh this reminds me of that time I smuggled a bottle of vodka into a club in my rolls....I'm still yet to achieve my 'bucket o chicken' fat girl status...man, MUST.TRY.HARDER....


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## gobettiepurple (Jun 30, 2010)

*It was the rap group Three 6 mafia and their show on mtv was called adventures in hollyhood . . . 

I know, how the hell did I know that . . . too much tv.

The woman in question mixes ranch dressing with sugar and then slaps her man until he wakes up to pleasure her in some way . . . of course, the cameras don't show us and no one ever says what exactly the ranch-sugar enhanced concoctions was for . . . *


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## Leonard (Jun 30, 2010)

isamarie69 said:


> I agree she was irresponsible, But not for not cleaning up. But because She didn't bring mashed potatoes and biscuits!!!! HONESTLY!



You're part of the problem.



missy_blue_eyez said:


> Ahhhh this reminds me of that time I smuggled a bottle of vodka into a club in my rolls....I'm still yet to achieve my 'bucket o chicken' fat girl status...man, MUST.TRY.HARDER....



With great fatness comes great responsibility, missy_blue_eyez. It saddens me that you're talking about abusing your power before you've even gained it. If I may be blunt, you don't deserve to be a super-sized heifer. You're not ready.


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## missy_blue_eyez (Jun 30, 2010)

Leonard said:


> You're part of the problem.
> 
> 
> 
> With great fatness comes great responsibility, missy_blue_eyez. It saddens me that you're talking about abusing your power before you've even gained it. If I may be blunt, you don't deserve to be a super-sized heifer. You're not ready.



I refute that! I was just being resourceful! Its 8 quid a drink in London Ill have you know love! Oh the smugness on my face when the bouncers checked my handbag and me thinking 'ohhhhhhh your sooooooooooooo in the wrong place...te he he he' bearing in mind, it was a fat girl club, you'd think they'd know better..... 

But can I try again for my supah fatty stripes? Please? Sir?:wubu:


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## Lamia (Jul 1, 2010)

I've only smuggled something under my fat once. It was a camera I took to a U2 concert. My friend and I both simply tucked a camera under a boob. They were frisking people and guess what they barely touched us because ewww fat girls.


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## MizzSnakeBite (Jul 1, 2010)

Lamia said:


> I've only smuggled something under my fat once. It was a camera I took to a U2 concert. My friend and I both simply tucked a camera under a boob. They were frisking people and guess what they barely touched us because ewww fat girls.



Shhhhhhhh! You're giving trade secrets away!


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## Lamia (Jul 1, 2010)

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Shhhhhhhh! You're giving trade secrets away!



lol I know right? Fat is like magic. We're magical creatures like unicorns.


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## Blackjack (Jul 1, 2010)

Lamia said:


> lol I know right? Fat is like magic. We're magical creatures like unicorns.



Fat casts Lvl. 5 Eroticism on my Short Staff of +3 Fucking.


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## Ash (Jul 1, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> Fat casts Lvl. 5 Eroticism on my Short Staff of +3 Fucking.



Wow. That was possibly the nerdiest perv line I've ever read. Congratulations, sir.


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## Blackjack (Jul 1, 2010)

Ashley said:


> Wow. That was possibly the nerdiest perv line I've ever read. Congratulations, sir.



It's super effective!


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## Lamia (Jul 1, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> Fat casts Lvl. 5 Eroticism on my Short Staff of +3 Fucking.



Fat also adds a +2 to all will and fortitude saves, as well as raising my charisma stat by 2. Can't rep you damn it!!


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## missy_blue_eyez (Jul 1, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> Fat casts Lvl. 5 Eroticism on my Short Staff of +3 Fucking.



I have absolutely no idea what that means......

Id never realised just how stealthy me rolls are!


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## Leonard (Jul 1, 2010)

missy_blue_eyez said:


> I refute that! I was just being resourceful! Its 8 quid a drink in London Ill have you know love! Oh the smugness on my face when the bouncers checked my handbag and me thinking 'ohhhhhhh your sooooooooooooo in the wrong place...te he he he' bearing in mind, it was a fat girl club, you'd think they'd know better.....
> 
> But can I try again for my supah fatty stripes? Please? Sir?:wubu:



Hmmm...well, I suppose I could give you another chance, but be warned; I plan to monitor and supervise your growth very closely. I will expect you to keep a comprehensive food journal and attend weekly weigh-ins. Stick with me and I'll fatten you up to SSBBW status within the year, but if I find so much as a _tic tac_ between your rolls between our rolls in the hay, you are FINISHED.


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## missy_blue_eyez (Jul 1, 2010)

Leonard said:


> Hmmm...well, I suppose I could give you another chance, but be warned; I plan to monitor and supervise your growth very closely. I will expect you to keep a comprehensive food journal and attend weekly weigh-ins. Stick with me and I'll fatten you up to SSBBW status within the year, but if I find so much as a _tic tac_ between your rolls between our rolls in the hay, you are FINISHED.



So I haz to be a supah fatty until Im good enough  sigh, story of a bbw's life! Id say Im pretty supah anyway......And for your information, LEONARD, I dont like tic tacs! But I did just forget my handsfree set on the bus so had to rest my phone in my ample bussom..... :happy:


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## D_A_Bunny (Jul 1, 2010)

gobettiepurple said:


> *It was the rap group Three 6 mafia and their show on mtv was called adventures in hollyhood . . .
> 
> I know, how the hell did I know that . . . too much tv.
> 
> The woman in question mixes ranch dressing with sugar and then slaps her man until he wakes up to pleasure her in some way . . . of course, the cameras don't show us and no one ever says what exactly the ranch-sugar enhanced concoctions was for . . . *



Yes, thank you. I knew someone would know. And I never saw the waking up part, but she told his group members that it was for TOE SUCKING. Yummy, sweet ranch dressing. Now that is what every man wants to wake up to. That, and the after loving bucket of chicken.


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## lostjacket (Jul 5, 2010)

Ok...this is half the reason I came back. Ridiculousness squared.


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## Ash (Jul 5, 2010)

lostjacket said:


> Ok...this is half the reason I came back. Ridiculousness squared.



Haha. Welcome back, sir. You fit right in here.


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## lostjacket (Jul 5, 2010)

Pretty much. I'm only halfway done reading the damn thing and am already loving the ridiculousness.


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