# My problem



## Sweetnlow (Dec 8, 2014)

In the last couple of years I've gained a lot of weight. Mostly due to medication. I am bipolar and I take lithium regurlarly. Right now I weigh 360 pounds and i have never been this big. I have really experienced how my friends and family are being condsending about me being so fat. They tell me that i have to lose weight. My best friend is pushing me to have gastric bypass surgery. She says she dosen't recognize me and dad is constantly nagging and he is asking me if I haved lost any weight every time i speak to him. At work there is this lady there who says she feels sorry for me cause I am obese. How do you cope with people telling you need to go on a diet? I try to lose weight but it is not easy. I am sure people who tells me I should lose weight doesn't want me to feel bad, but i can't help feeling akward everytime someone want's to talk about my weight problem. In defence i guess I hurry to mention that I am fat before anyone has to say it. And I tell them I am on a diet. Why is my problem so open for discussion. Is it because being fat is so obvious to those around you?


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## AuntHen (Dec 8, 2014)

First off, hello and sorry that this is happening to you. I think this is a common issue with fat people, I know it has been for me.

The media is so rampant with the whole DEATH FATZ OBESITY EPIDEMIC that people feel they have the right to comment on what they consider a "health concern". They even try to say that fat people make health insurance go up and that they have to pay for fat people's health insurance, so again have some sort of rights to say crap. I personally think the whole "concern for health" (and their reasoning behind it) is a bunch of baloney. No one has the right to *body police* anyone. It's YOUR body and they need to mind their own business. How would they feel if you did that to them?

My opinion is that no one has the right to harass or comment to you about your body and I feel you should either be very blunt in telling them that or ignore them and move on/let it roll off. Either way, it's not worthy of your time and energy. They are not you and have not walked in your shoes. Unless you invite them into a discussion about your body, they need to keep their mouths shut!


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## ed1980 (Dec 8, 2014)

I think you should learn not to be that sensitive to what other people say. You are letting people that does mean you any harm to hurt you and make you feel inadequate. I think perhaps you should learn to laugh about it, so that it will not hurt you anymore .... something like ... so glad you said, know I know and will diet. What about we share a sunday before I do it ....


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## agouderia (Dec 8, 2014)

So sorry you have to go through all that Sweetnlow.

What I assume the other respondents have overlooked to a certain degree is that you live in Sweden and not in the US. 

That makes your situation more difficult - at least from what I know from my few visits to Sweden and dealing with Swedes in the EU context - in 2 respects.

First of all, from my perception, Swedes in general still are on the slim to only moderately overweight side; so being your size probably is rather unusual and will indeed stand out.

Second - communication in Scandinavia from my experience is very open; issues and problems are addressed pretty directly, critical aspects much less ignored or sugar-coated than this is common for instance in the American context. 

So imo the only way you can remedy matters is to be just as open and direct. With family and friends - who I gather know about the medication you need to take - simply say you are aware of the weight, it is related to the medication and that you will not discuss it with them. To make your point clear you will probably have to get up and leave the room when they start the topic, but after max. 2-3 times doing that they should get the message.

At the workplace, you can draw the line even more clearly, by saying this is a personal matter you will not speak about in the workplace. Again, if she starts, leave the room, reject further communication.

As far as bipolar disorders go - isn't lithium a very old form of medication? 
My great-aunt - who was also bipolar and died last year at 88 - took it for 45 years. I remember her doctor years ago wanting her to switch meds because of the many side-effects of lithium; but she was already over 70 at the time and felt too old to go through that process. (She gained some weight too, but she was underweight before so it didn't matter).
So maybe you might also want to talk to your doctor which other medications you could possibly take that might have fewer side effects and make it easier for you to manage your weight.

Lycka till!


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## AuntHen (Dec 11, 2014)

^ Actually no, I didn't overlook that she was from Northern Europe and I understand the "frankness" of communication in those regions, which reflects in my post about being *very blunt*.


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