# Did you come out?



## davidburton (May 4, 2013)

Conversation between me and a friend last night:

My friend: Meredith is hot, I would definitely smash.
Me: Nah, I wouldn't. Not really my type. 
friend: Well what's your type then?
Me: Very chubby to fat.
friend: Really, that's interesting...

And that was the first time I've ever "come out" to anyone in person. Not that I've been hiding it. I've always told myself that I would tell anyone honestly if they ever asked. Interestingly, none of my friends have ever directly asked me(or really even indirectly asked me) in the seven or eight years I've had this preference until yesterday. 

My question is: Have you ever come out to people before? Why? If you haven't, do you assume most people you know well have figured it out?

In my case I've never thought it necessary to tell the important people in my life that I'm an FA because they've seen who I choose to date and what kind of girls my eyes wander to, so I assume that they can put the pieces together. Basically, I don't feel like I owe anyone a "coming out", because I've never hidden my preference or lied about it.


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## weirddream (May 4, 2013)

Where is the "like" button on this thing? :wubu:


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## Extinctor100 (May 5, 2013)

I've never been in the FA Closet or truly acknowledged that there needs to be one. My very first girlfriend when I was 15, was over 350 pounds and when I complimented her to her, my friends, or her friends, my compliments about her personality and her large figure were unapologetic:

Her: "What do you find most attractive about me?"
Me: "Your incredible sense of humor, your big blue eyes, and your thick, lovely legs." :wubu:
Her jaw would then drop in stunned adoration.

When any of my friends discuss the kinds of women they like, I always recommend to them that they go out with a BBW at least once in their lives. When a friend of mine groans that she's put on weight, I immediately make a compliment out of it. When my close friends ask how my love life is, I mention how I love "that beautiful chubby bunny I'm with."

It's attractive to know what you want and unapologetically state that you want it. It's assertive and it displays confidence that you don't require other people's approval in order to live your life, any more than you ask them what sort of liquor you should order at the bar... you're the one who knows how much you can handle!


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## katherine22 (May 5, 2013)

How refreshing for these men to have the confidence to pursue what they like. A time may come when expressing a preference for fat women will incur no reaction.


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## ecogeek (May 5, 2013)

Extinctor100 said:


> It's attractive to know what you want and unapologetically state that you want it. It's assertive and it displays confidence that you don't require other people's approval in order to live your life, any more than you ask them what sort of liquor you should order at the bar... you're the one who knows how much you can handle!



Well stated! I wish everyone lived by this!


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## loopytheone (May 5, 2013)

I have never told anybody about my preference for bigger people, simply because I don't think it is anybody else's business! The same way that I've never told anybody in real life about my gender preferences in a partner or what I find an attractive personality. Those things are all very personal to me and I also don't feel like I owe anybody an explanation for my preferences or an insight into my mind. My mind and my preferences and feelings are all mine, thank you very much! I'm guessing that from hearing me call my 450lb partner handsome and gorgeous and amazing enough times people aren't exactly oblivious to the fact that I like bigger people and I'd answer questions honestly but nobody has ever asked.


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## biggirlsrock (May 5, 2013)

I always say I like my women like I like my music...*Loud & HEAVY*. That is the extent of me ever saying anything. BUT, everyone that knows me knows my preference for fat women, as I've never dated a thin girl.


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## weirddream (May 5, 2013)

katherine22 said:


> How refreshing for these men to have the confidence to pursue what they like. A time may come when expressing a preference for fat women will incur no reaction.



Maybe within our lifetimes, even! :happy:


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## snuggletiger (May 6, 2013)

I like everything big ive always been that way. So I have never been in the "Closet" so to say


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## Azrael (May 6, 2013)

Yea...I'm out of the FEEDER closet, so it kinda goes without saying that I'm out of the FA closet as well...

Needless to say, it was one of those moments when everyone in the group was basically talking about their fetishes.


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## Webmaster (May 6, 2013)

davidburton said:


> ...My question is: Have you ever come out to people before?...



Yes, on national TV, way back when on the Sally Jessy Raphael Show, Phil Donahue, Geraldo, and a few others. The rest is history.


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## Mack27 (May 7, 2013)

My parents are extremely fat-phobic and I don't _only_ like big women, I like certain types of thin women too, so I didn't come all the way out until a few years ago. I'm ashamed it took so long. I'm so much happier being me.


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## bmann0413 (May 7, 2013)

I was never really in the closet fully. I just had my foot stuck in the door. lol

But it never really comes up in conversation. When it does, I just say how I feel on the matter.


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## ScreamingChicken (May 7, 2013)

Never in the closet. I didnt see the need to put an ad in the paper expressing my prefernece but I sure as hell made no attempts at hiding it either.


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## s13 (Sep 28, 2013)

I have not yet come out but want to soon. Some friends know I like chubby girls but I am attracted to supersized women and am comfortable with that now. And if they know they know.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Sep 28, 2013)

s13 said:


> I have not yet come out but want to soon. Some friends know I like chubby girls but I am attracted to supersized women and am comfortable with that now. And if they know they know.



Everyone that knows me knows i love big woman, i am pretty open about it lol. Good luck with coming out man!


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## MrWhiteShin (Sep 28, 2013)

I came out about being an FA a few years back...got tired of people thinking I was homosexual just because I didn't drool over every thin woman we encountered. Thankfully, my friends were mature about it and my family already suspected as much.


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## Steve373 (Oct 4, 2013)

coming out is not like being gay !

I prefer very overweight women with 100 or more pounds of fat, but I'd also do a skinny 120 lb 22 year old sort if available, I'm not fussy or like movie star handsome, so I'll any broad I can get within reason. My wife doesn't turn me on, she's 57 and like 4'11" and 117 lbs or so, quite older than me !

I'd like a woman that is under 50 and over 200 lbs and 5'5" or taller and White or Asian or mixed race.

The 200+ lbs will be a must for my next wife once I divorce this this damn bitch. I'd like at least 75 lbs of flab and would take a girl that is 18 if she wanted me and was obese.

at almost 50 years old soon.... 45-55 years old is my ballpark in real terms...but sure take a girl 30 years my junior, but not more than 10 years my senior....60 is kind of max.

I once had sex with a woman about 70 years old when I was about 30 years old but that was a one day stand ! I've never any sexual experience that I've regretted.

I've fucked old, ugly and fat chicks in my time plus quite a few 7+ hotties...I poke whatever walks in my direction.....pussy is pussy and i'll hit most of it and 100 lbs of blubber doesn't hurt !


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## Gingembre (Oct 4, 2013)

Steve373 said:


> coming out is not like being gay !
> 
> I prefer very overweight women with 100 or more pounds of fat, but I'd also do a skinny 120 lb 22 year old sort if available, I'm not fussy or like movie star handsome, so I'll any broad I can get within reason. My wife doesn't turn me on, she's 57 and like 4'11" and 117 lbs or so, quite older than me !
> 
> ...



You are such a charmer...no wonder you take whatever's offered. :doh:


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## Surlysomething (Oct 4, 2013)

I pity any female that comes near you. Haha.




Steve373 said:


> coming out is not like being gay !
> 
> I prefer very overweight women with 100 or more pounds of fat, but I'd also do a skinny 120 lb 22 year old sort if available, I'm not fussy or like movie star handsome, so I'll any broad I can get within reason. My wife doesn't turn me on, she's 57 and like 4'11" and 117 lbs or so, quite older than me !
> 
> ...


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## loopytheone (Oct 4, 2013)

Gingembre said:


> You are such a charmer...no wonder you take whatever's offered. :doh:





Surlysomething said:


> I pity any female that comes near you. Haha.



I was going to say something but I think you two have about summed this up...


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## The Loch Ness Monster (Oct 4, 2013)

Once you fat you never go back. LNM


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## waldo (Oct 5, 2013)

s13 said:


> I have not yet come out but want to soon. Some friends know I like chubby girls but I am attracted to supersized women and am comfortable with that now. And if they know they know.



This is an excellent point. Societal acceptance of attraction to thick/chubby women is one thing. Once we get into the SSBBW realm, it is really a different ballgame. Be strong and follow your heart, it won't steer you wrong (I promise)


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## Paquito (Oct 5, 2013)

Steve373 said:


> pussy is pussy and i'll hit most of it


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## cinnamitch (Oct 5, 2013)

Steve373 said:


> coming out is not like being gay !
> 
> I prefer very overweight women with 100 or more pounds of fat, but I'd also do a skinny 120 lb 22 year old sort if available, I'm not fussy or like movie star handsome, so I'll any broad I can get within reason. My wife doesn't turn me on, she's 57 and like 4'11" and 117 lbs or so, quite older than me !
> 
> ...


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## LeoGibson (Oct 5, 2013)

Steve373 said:


> coming out is not like being gay !
> 
> I prefer very overweight women with 100 or more pounds of fat, but I'd also do a skinny 120 lb 22 year old sort if available, I'm not fussy or like movie star handsome, so I'll any broad I can get within reason. _*My wife doesn't turn me on,*_ she's 57 and like 4'11" and 117 lbs or so, quite older than me !
> 
> ...




If this post is any indication of the sweetheart she's dealing with, she probably has no desire whatsoever to turn you on. Most likely, the last thing in the world she wants is to have you climb on and endure a minute or two of grunting in her ear while you poke around with your semi-erect penis and then have to listen to you snore while she cleans the watery mess you left on her thigh. Just one possibility.


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## BigCutieLaurel (Oct 5, 2013)

Steve373 said:


> coming out is not like being gay !
> 
> I prefer very overweight women with 100 or more pounds of fat, but I'd also do a skinny 120 lb 22 year old sort if available, I'm not fussy or like movie star handsome, so I'll any broad I can get within reason. My wife doesn't turn me on, she's 57 and like 4'11" and 117 lbs or so, quite older than me !
> 
> ...



Thank god you're divorcing your wife. She could do better. And in the future, please direct any ladies you're interested in to this comment. They should know what they're getting into.


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## Surlysomething (Oct 5, 2013)

Oh SNAP! :bow:



LeoGibson said:


> If this post is any indication of the sweetheart she's dealing with, she probably has no desire whatsoever to turn you on. Most likely, the last thing in the world she wants is to have you climb on and endure a minute or two of grunting in her ear while you poke around with your semi-erect penis and then have to listen to you snore while she cleans the watery mess you left on her thigh. Just one possibility.


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## spookytwigg (Oct 5, 2013)

Tahlia said:


> Thank god you're divorcing your wife. She could do better. And in the future, please direct any ladies you're interested in to this comment. They should know what they're getting into.



Yep, this is definitely a good idea. All should be warned.


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## Dromond (Oct 6, 2013)

Steve373 said:


> coming out is not like being gay !
> 
> I prefer very overweight women with 100 or more pounds of fat, but I'd also do a skinny 120 lb 22 year old sort if available, I'm not fussy or like movie star handsome, so I'll any broad I can get within reason. My wife doesn't turn me on, she's 57 and like 4'11" and 117 lbs or so, quite older than me !
> 
> ...



You're a pig.


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## Dromond (Oct 6, 2013)

And now to address the thread topic:

There is nothing brave about "coming out" in regards to your preference for bigger people. You don't deserve a cookie because you are willing to be seen in public with a larger lady. That's just the way things are supposed to be. If you like someone, you're not ashamed of them. If you are ashamed of being seen in public with bigger women (or men if that is your bent), then you are a coward and need to get over yourself.


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## chunkeymonkey (Oct 6, 2013)

Steve373 said:


> coming out is not like being gay !
> 
> I prefer very overweight women with 100 or more pounds of fat, but I'd also do a skinny 120 lb 22 year old sort if available, I'm not fussy or like movie star handsome, so I'll any broad I can get within reason. My wife doesn't turn me on, she's 57 and like 4'11" and 117 lbs or so, quite older than me !
> 
> ...



Ohhhh I could have so much fun with you sweet heart! Come and get it  http://www.martinfrost.ws/htmlfiles/dec2006/trap_rapists.html


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## chunkeymonkey (Oct 9, 2013)

chunkeymonkey said:


> Ohhhh I could have so much fun with you sweet heart! Come and get it  http://www.martinfrost.ws/htmlfiles/dec2006/trap_rapists.html



Hope I didn't scare you off.


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## Diana_Prince245 (Oct 10, 2013)

Steve373 said:


> coming out is not like being gay !
> 
> I prefer very overweight women with 100 or more pounds of fat, but I'd also do a skinny 120 lb 22 year old sort if available, I'm not fussy or like movie star handsome, so I'll any broad I can get within reason. My wife doesn't turn me on, she's 57 and like 4'11" and 117 lbs or so, quite older than me !
> 
> ...



Just because we're fat doesn't mean we don't have standards about how we expect to be treated.


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## choudhury (Oct 11, 2013)

As for the topic at hand, I never felt driven to 'come out' in the sense of announcing my preferences. In fact I tend to think it's nobody else's business. What I've always done is just date bigger women and eventually marry one! If someone doesn't like it, that's their problem.


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## spookytwigg (Oct 11, 2013)

choudhury said:


> As for the topic at hand, I never felt driven to 'come out' in the sense of announcing my preferences. In fact I tend to think it's nobody else's business. What I've always done is just date bigger women and eventually marry one! If someone doesn't like it, that's their problem.



I have pretty much the same opinion. I mean I sure as hell have no interest in hearing other peoples preferences. I don't need them to come up to me and say "look man, I need you to know. I prefer Blonde people".


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## waldo (Oct 11, 2013)

MrWhiteShin said:


> I came out about being an FA a few years back...got tired of people thinking I was homosexual just because I didn't drool over every thin woman we encountered. Thankfully, my friends were mature about it and my family already suspected as much.



This is a good point that if you do not express clearly that it is your strong, sincere desire to be with a fat partner over a thin one, people (family, friends, etc.) could fill in the blanks with various incorrect assumptions. In the past closet homosexuals have been notorious for sham marriages with fat women. Another incorrect assumption would be that you are too insecure and want a fat partner so there is less risk of them leaving (something which is another common situation where very insecure men choose a fat wife and then freak out when she loses weight).

How to handle this best will be a personal choice. But let's say, for example, you are a guy and one day your mother asks you why you are always dating fat girls. And she goes on to say you could do so much better. Are you going to tell her what your true motivation is, or keep it to yourself because it is 'too personal'?

It's best to say how you feel in a tactful and confident manner, and it is liberating as well. If you are not ashamed, there is no reason not to discuss with those close to you (especially that person who is the object of your desires) when the occasion presents itself. And if she/he can't handle it, you probably shouldn't have a long-term relationship with this person.


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## biggirlsrock (Oct 12, 2013)

Steve373 said:


> so I'll any broad I can get within reason. My wife doesn't turn me on, she's 57 and like 4'11" and 117 lbs or so, quite older than me !
> 
> I've fucked old, ugly and fat chicks in my time plus quite a few 7+ hotties...I poke whatever walks in my direction.....pussy is pussy and i'll hit most of it and 100 lbs of blubber doesn't hurt !



*Quite the charmer. Women must be knocking on your door day & night.*


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## biggirlsrock (Oct 12, 2013)

Diana_Prince245 said:


> Just because we're fat doesn't mean we don't have standards about how we expect to be treated.



Truer words were never spoken.


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## biggirlsrock (Oct 12, 2013)

chunkeymonkey said:


> Hope I didn't scare you off.



I gotta admit, I was a little scared, and the post wasn't even MEANT for me!!!


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## MadLordOfMilk (Oct 16, 2013)

I used to feel really embarrassed about liking bigger girls when I was younger. Nowadays, I've thankfully found that on the whole, people largely don't care. Some of my closer friends joke about it periodically, but not any more than any other topic, and never maliciously.

Anyway, a lot of people I know basically just figured it out themselves. The only time I ever feel the need to directly say anything is if it's somehow relevant to conversation, which is pretty rare, but it does come up occasionally.

That all said: If I'm dating someone new, I feel it's important to be honest and tell them about my various kinks up front. That one's a significantly more delicate conversation. I can go into more detail about that particular subject if anyone's curious, but as mentioned, it's a delicate conversation to have and not something I'd want to just summarize in a couple sentences.



Dromond said:


> And now to address the thread topic:
> 
> There is nothing brave about "coming out" in regards to your preference for bigger people. You don't deserve a cookie because you are willing to be seen in public with a larger lady. That's just the way things are supposed to be. If you like someone, you're not ashamed of them. If you are ashamed of being seen in public with bigger women (or men if that is your bent), then you are a coward and need to get over yourself.


In a way, you're advocating not caring what others think, while bashing people who finally reach the point of not caring what others think  I understand that you're saying "you don't get credit for something you're _supposed_ to do," but I think there is some value in recognizing it's a good step forward when people finally make that transition.


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