# The "kid in a candy store" mentality



## BothGunsBlazing (Apr 7, 2009)

This most likely doesn't just apply to FAs, but since that is where we are and that is who I mostly see interact, I'll bring it up here anyway.

It happened with me and I've seen it happen to quite a few other people. Once you find out this community exists and about the whole culture really, it's very overwhelming. I remember when I first joined Dimensions years ago. I couldn't really keep it together with all the women around here who you could actually interact with and not feeling creepy about it (how to do it without being creepy is another thread altogether) but yeah, I've been thinking about it lately. 

As some one who discovered this place when I was very young, I can relate to that feeling of OMFG WOMENZ! However, as some one who has made the mistake of trying to balance way too much flirting with way too many promises with zero promise of actual follow through, I can safely say, it's best to sit back, take it all in and think on it before trying to talk up as many women as possible.

Because believe me, women/men do talk to each other and you will get a reputation and it will suck.


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## mergirl (Apr 7, 2009)

its funny, cause, even though i chatted in Dims chat years ago i didnt actually join dims forums until i was in a commited relationship with a bbw. I felt then was the time i needed to interact with other Fa's and bbws and ask for advice and share my feelings. Though, i do rememeber feeling pretty overwhelmed when i found chat here ..i never knew Fa's even existed. It did give me total butterflies and a feeling of happy calm.. though i didnt actually do much chattering up of womeennz.. it was mainly guys who were trying to chatter me up and when i said i wasnt fat.. they were like.. "ahh but how fat do you want to be" lol.. good times!!


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## TraciJo67 (Apr 7, 2009)

mergirl said:


> its funny, cause, even though i chatted in Dims chat years ago i didnt actually join dims forums until i was in a commited relationship with a bbw. I felt then was the time i needed to interact with other Fa's and bbws and ask for advice and share my feelings. Though, i do rememeber feeling pretty overwhelmed when i found chat here ..i never knew Fa's even existed. It did give me total butterflies and a feeling of happy calm.. though i didnt actually do much chattering up of womeennz.. *it was mainly guys who were trying to chatter me up and when i said i wasnt fat.. they were like.. "ahh but how fat do you want to be" lol.. good times!! *



Add a "married" to your user profile and see how many PM's you get on this very topic. Coz, you know, I'm sure you'd love to get more communication from horny men who wish to have a fantasy internet relationship with you, mer. In fact, it's the top of your priority list ... right?


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## mergirl (Apr 7, 2009)

TraciJo67 said:


> Add a "married" to your user profile and see how many PM's you get on this very topic. Coz, you know, I'm sure you'd love to get more communication from horny men who wish to have a fantasy internet relationship with you, mer. In fact, it's the top of your priority list ... right?


Lol right. To be honest..this was one of the resons i left chat really..i got bored by the constant pinging of messages from people not taking it on board i was an Fa.. I used to feel bad if i never replied, so ended up really stressed every time i chatted! lol.. och well..yeah..i did have a few one sided fantasy internet relationships with guys when i was younger!


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## Ben from England (Apr 7, 2009)

Totally. 

I was never much of an internet guy, but when I finally went to an event and got involved proper, it was crazy. I used to be out clubbing pretty regularly with friends, and going from being an FA in a 'normal' club where I wasn't interested in 99% of the girls and having the 1% I was interested in usually being very self conscious or just (gasp!) not interested in me, to finding myself in an environment where I was out numbered by, for the most part, proud hot BBW's really was overwhelming. And awesome. 

I will add to the whole reputation thing by saying that I found the rules of engagement could be slightly different in the BBW world. Like BGB said, a greater degree of caution and maturity is required.

In my case, I spent my first few events getting drunk, flirting it up and generally embarrassing myself with different girls much like I did in normal clubs. Eventually I came to realise I was coming off as a bit of a man whore in this new environment. As a guy who had only recently started finding his feet with the lady folk (I was a fat kid that was brutally shy around the fairer sex when it came to the romance department till I was in my very late teens. The very definition of no game.), this was in equal measures surprising, hilarious (to my friends) and, perversely, kind of cool to me. I had a bit of a rep going on. I was perhaps the least experienced, least sexually active playa in England. Luckily, I quickly fell for a far smarter, savvy gal who set me straight. 

So yeah, my lessons learned would be brace yourself (I still vividly remember walking into my first BBW event. T'was amazing.) and TRY to be smart.


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## LillyBBBW (Apr 7, 2009)

I remember this one time years ago I met this guy online. We chatted for months and exchanged photos, seemed to get on pretty well. We agreed to finally meet at this bbw dance that we'd seen advertised and was curious about. His eyes were rolling out of his head at this thing. He practically ignored me the whole time and spent the evening looking around at all the fatties there. I left him for the ladies room, was gone just a minute or so, and when I got back he had befriended some chick who plopped down next to him and was having the time of his life. I was devastated, I get teary when I remember how hurt I was. It was never really the same with him after that. I only talked with him casually or in passing at the events from time to time. He went through a few women there and then after a while, zip. Nobody would talk to him. I certainly wasn't going to after that. I get what its all about but a woman has her pride and her standards. I think the best damage control someone can do is to step back and lay low for a while. At least till the new car smell has returned. Just don't come back with the same scratch and sniff approach. There will always be the catty chatty crowd who love a good story but most mature thinking people will be willing to let bygones be bygones. It takes time though.


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## tonynyc (Apr 7, 2009)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Because believe me, women/men do talk to each other and you will get a reputation and it will suck.



I've always found the Size Acceptance Community equivalent to the  Kevin Bacon Game.


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Apr 7, 2009)

It is an interesting way to feel when you first join the plus size subculture. I remember going through it, LOL.

These days, the only thing I feel like being in a candy store about are my books. I love books.


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## LillyBBBW (Apr 7, 2009)

tonynyc said:


> I've always found the Size Acceptance Community equivalent to the  Kevin Bacon Game.



Let me tell you something. Can we get serious for a minute here? Back maybe ten years ago I was at a party. I'm sitting at a table with these people and I strike up a petty conversation with this guy. He was by himself, just sitting there so we prattled about this and that - nothing huge. I went to the ladies room. (Fellas, CRAZY azz crap goes on in the ladies room. Don't *ever* let your girlfriends go in there alone. lol) Ok, so I'm in the ladies room, I'm at the sink and these drunk ladies come over to me and one says, "Oh I see you're talking with Chet*." I didn't know what his name was. We talked about the weather. *shrugs* She proceeds to tell me that he's really good in bed, likes to go down, has a d*ck like a coke can. I'm miss pollyanna so I nearly dropped my lipstick in the sink I was so shocked. I went back to the table and tried to act natural. He was just sitting there, wasn't really doing anything of giving off any vibe. He ended up getting bored and leaving early I guess. That poor guy. But seriously fellas, the bbw scene is kind of a hostile place to explore your FAness unless you don't care very much about this sort of thing. Do whatever you have to do to not think of the ladies as candy even if they offer. Only on the eyes. Just be careful, a lot of good guys got screwed and not in a good way.


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## Jon Blaze (Apr 7, 2009)

I can agree, but I usually don't go too far with flirting unless I really see something.

Sometimes in the past I did go a little crazy though, and I will admit that. I wouldn't dare say some of those past comments on initial encounters, but I've never really done that in person anyway from the get go.


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## alienlanes (Apr 7, 2009)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> However, as some one who has made the mistake of trying to balance way too much flirting with way too many promises with zero promise of actual follow through, I can safely say, it's best to sit back, take it all in and think on it before trying to talk up as many women as possible.
> 
> Because believe me, women/men do talk to each other and you will get a reputation and it will suck.





Ben from England said:


> As a guy who had only recently started finding his feet with the lady folk (I was a fat kid that was brutally shy around the fairer sex when it came to the romance department till I was in my very late teens. The very definition of no game.), this was in equal measures surprising, hilarious (to my friends) and, perversely, kind of cool to me.



Both of these posts are very, very true.

Being an FA can make you a "late bloomer" romantically. My own experience was almost exactly like Ben's. I hardly dated at all during high school and college, not for lack of interest but because I wasn't interested in any of the women around me. When I started going to bashes, it was like flipping an "on" switch I didn't know I had. All of a sudden my hormones were surging and I was being shamelessly flirty and charismatic for the first time in my life. 

It's a wonderful feeling, but in a community like this one it can be very dangerous. To go from a situation where you don't even _see_ any attractive women for weeks at a time to a situation where you're getting attention from several of them at once is an overwhelming experience. It's easy to get in over your head.

Before you hit the dance floor at your first bash, take a few deep breaths. Have fun flirting, but take your time. Try not to let your raging libido drown out your common sense. In the long run you'll save yourself a lot of drama and heartache.


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## tonynyc (Apr 7, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> Let me tell you something. Can we get serious for a minute here? Back maybe ten years ago I was at a party. I'm sitting at a table with these people and I strike up a petty conversation with this guy. He was by himself, just sitting there so we prattled about this and that - nothing huge. I went to the ladies room. (Fellas, CRAZY azz crap goes on in the ladies room. Don't *ever* let your girlfriends go in there alone. lol) Ok, so I'm in the ladies room, I'm at the sink and these drunk ladies come over to me and one says, "Oh I see you're talking with Chet*." I didn't know what his name was. We talked about the weather. *shrugs* She proceeds to tell me that he's really good in bed, likes to go down, has a d*ck like a coke can. I'm miss pollyanna so I nearly dropped my lipstick in the sink I was so shocked. I went back to the table and tried to act natural. He was just sitting there, wasn't really doing anything of giving off any vibe. He ended up getting bored and leaving early I guess. That poor guy. But seriously fellas, the bbw scene is kind of a hostile place to explore your FAness unless you don't care very much about this sort of thing. Do whatever you have to do to not think of the ladies as candy even if they offer. Only on the eyes. Just be careful, a lot of good guys got screwed and not in a good way.




It's like one of those 'eye opening ' Taxicab confession shows...

So if newbie FAs are a Kid in the Candy Shops! Does that make BBWs Lionesses on the Hunt?


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## LillyBBBW (Apr 7, 2009)

tonynyc said:


> It's like one of those 'eye opening ' Taxicab confession shows...
> 
> So if newbie FAs are a Kid in the Candy Shops! Does that make BBWs Lionesses on the Hunt?



Yes, you will find strong elements of that there. It's pretty disconcerting if you're an average Jill at one of these things trying to find "someone special." You try to let the merits of your personality and sense of humor shine through but it's hard to compete in that environment when the bbw on the other side of him is rubbing his thigh under the table. It does make for a lot of dramatics and hurt feelings.


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## exile in thighville (Apr 7, 2009)

the looming spectre of "people talk" bothers me more than being a slut. i'll live my life, thanks. there's a reason i didn't sign up to be catholic. people who use this as a bargaining chip are intensely petty. i've been "threatened" plenty of times, and with all of them said do what you have to do.


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## swamptoad (Apr 7, 2009)

mergirl said:


> its funny, cause, even though i chatted in Dims chat years ago i didnt actually join dims forums until i was in a commited relationship with a bbw. I felt then was the time i needed to interact with other Fa's and bbws and ask for advice and share my feelings. Though, i do rememeber feeling pretty overwhelmed when i found chat here ..i never knew Fa's even existed. It did give me total butterflies and a feeling of happy calm.. though i didnt actually do much chattering up of womeennz.. it was mainly guys who were trying to chatter me up and when i said i wasnt fat.. they were like.. "ahh but how fat do you want to be" lol.. good times!!




See, I know you aren't fat. I'm cool with that. I've seen your pictures .. and you are gorgeous!!!!! Just sayin'.


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## alienlanes (Apr 7, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> the looming spectre of "people talk" bothers me more than being a slut. i'll live my life, thanks. there's a reason i didn't sign up to be catholic. people who use this as a bargaining chip are intensely petty. i've been "threatened" plenty of times, and with all of them said do what you have to do.



What's "people talk"? Do you mean that people threaten to gossip about you? Cause yeah, that's petty.


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## LillyBBBW (Apr 7, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> the looming spectre of "people talk" bothers me more than being a slut. i'll live my life, thanks. there's a reason i didn't sign up to be catholic. people who use this as a bargaining chip are intensely petty. i've been "threatened" plenty of times, and with all of them said do what you have to do.



Well the big mistake I made was assuming every guy felt like you do but that's not exactly true. I never bothered to talk about what people say and how stuff gets started because I did think it was petty but later discovered that some people are really bothered by this kind of stuff and want to know. I'm just putting it out there for those interested so they can live their lives too.


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## exile in thighville (Apr 7, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> Well the big mistake I made was assuming every guy felt like you do but that's not exactly true. I never bothered to talk about what people say and how stuff gets started because I did think it was petty but later discovered that some people are really bothered by this kind of stuff and want to know. I'm just putting it out there for those interested so they can live their lives too.



well yeah, i mean there are honest ways to do what you do. i'm _really_ bothered by this but it's inevitable. i do know guys who won't attend bashes (anymore) because a girl they (used to) know is a prominent participant. that really bothers me. if you're a jerk over and over it'll come to fruition eventually but screwing up with a girl years ago and in the past affecting whether or not you participate in the community is problematic.


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## Carrie (Apr 7, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> well yeah, i mean there are honest ways to do what you do. i'm _really_ bothered by this but it's inevitable. i do know guys who won't attend bashes (anymore) because a girl they (used to) know is a prominent participant. that really bothers me. if you're a jerk over and over it'll come to fruition eventually but screwing up with a girl years ago and in the past affecting whether or not you participate in the community is problematic.


This phenomenon, along with all of the intricacies of dating within what tends to be a very small community, all things considered, is deserving of its own thread. Tricky, tricky business, for sure.


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## LillyBBBW (Apr 7, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> well yeah, i mean there are honest ways to do what you do. i'm _really_ bothered by this but it's inevitable. i do know guys who won't attend bashes (anymore) because a girl they (used to) know is a prominent participant. that really bothers me. if you're a jerk over and over it'll come to fruition eventually but screwing up with a girl years ago and in the past affecting whether or not you participate in the community is problematic.



I strongly agree and also agree that this subject is worthy of its own thread. Like I said earlier though, I believe time is the great equalizer. After a certain time the statue of limitations has run out on a woman's ability to hold court over a guy she had a falling out with several years ago in my opinion. In fact that's the opinion of most people so even if the woman in question still wants to pull that card she won't get much of a respectable audience.


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## CCC (Apr 7, 2009)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> As some one who discovered this place when I was very young, I can relate to that feeling of OMFG WOMENZ! However, as some one who has made the mistake of trying to balance way too much flirting with way too many promises with zero promise of actual follow through, I can safely say, it's best to sit back, take it all in and think on it before trying to talk up as many women as possible.



Interesting. I too discovered this place at a relatively young age (way too young to register; let's just leave it at that), but the fact that I've never been much for flirting and that every woman was... many years older than me allowed me to completely circumvent the kid in the candy store mentality. Not only had I never dated _anyone_, but the shiny pictures on the screen represented little more than a fantasy; I couldn't really wrap my head around the thought of ever personally being involved.

Interestingly, lurking for years seems to have been a way of easing myself into the ideas of what the community represented, without being thrown in head first.

That said, the upcoming NJ bash may indeed resemble quite the confectioner's shop, but personally I'm not too worried about excess flirting or promises. Sadly (or fortunately?) I just don't have it in me.


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## superodalisque (Apr 8, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> I remember this one time years ago I met this guy online. We chatted for months and exchanged photos, seemed to get on pretty well. We agreed to finally meet at this bbw dance that we'd seen advertised and was curious about. His eyes were rolling out of his head at this thing. He practically ignored me the whole time and spent the evening looking around at all the fatties there. I left him for the ladies room, was gone just a minute or so, and when I got back he had befriended some chick who plopped down next to him and was having the time of his life. I was devastated, I get teary when I remember how hurt I was. It was never really the same with him after that. I only talked with him casually or in passing at the events from time to time. He went through a few women there and then after a while, zip. Nobody would talk to him. I certainly wasn't going to after that. I get what its all about but a woman has her pride and her standards. I think the best damage control someone can do is to step back and lay low for a while. At least till the new car smell has returned. Just don't come back with the same scratch and sniff approach. There will always be the catty chatty crowd who love a good story but most mature thinking people will be willing to let bygones be bygones. It takes time though.



darnit! will you stop writing such good stuff! yes i love my FA friends. beautiful guys. but its hard to date them after going through that with them. it just wouldn't be the same.


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## superodalisque (Apr 8, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> Let me tell you something. Can we get serious for a minute here? Back maybe ten years ago I was at a party. I'm sitting at a table with these people and I strike up a petty conversation with this guy. He was by himself, just sitting there so we prattled about this and that - nothing huge. I went to the ladies room. (Fellas, CRAZY azz crap goes on in the ladies room. Don't *ever* let your girlfriends go in there alone. lol) Ok, so I'm in the ladies room, I'm at the sink and these drunk ladies come over to me and one says, "Oh I see you're talking with Chet*." I didn't know what his name was. We talked about the weather. *shrugs* She proceeds to tell me that he's really good in bed, likes to go down, has a d*ck like a coke can. I'm miss pollyanna so I nearly dropped my lipstick in the sink I was so shocked. I went back to the table and tried to act natural. He was just sitting there, wasn't really doing anything of giving off any vibe. He ended up getting bored and leaving early I guess. That poor guy. But seriously fellas, the bbw scene is kind of a hostile place to explore your FAness unless you don't care very much about this sort of thing. Do whatever you have to do to not think of the ladies as candy even if they offer. Only on the eyes. Just be careful, a lot of good guys got screwed and not in a good way.



yes they do. and it doesn't even have to be for something they actually did. true stories:

i was sitting next to a friend in the lobby at a bash. he is a really nice guy much too smart to sleep around in the community much. a girl who was hot for him called down from her room and said that he was up there with her and was trying to give the impression that something was going on.

a friend of mine thought that her ex was interested in me, but we were just kinda friends. so she had to tell me he had just gone upstairs with another girl to bed her. 3 minutes later he came back downstairs with a bottle so that we could all have a drink. 

lesson: be careful. and if you are married or have a significant other don't make the mistake of coming alone.


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## LillyBBBW (Apr 8, 2009)

superodalisque said:


> darnit! will you stop writing such good stuff! yes i love my FA friends. beautiful guys. but its hard to date them after going through that with them. it just wouldn't be the same.



Haha! You know, I always have the feeling hanging over my head that I'm just another jelly in the jar at these events. It's likely why I never meet anyone at them, I don't really go out of my way to do so.


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## Cors (Apr 8, 2009)

See, this is why I am intimidated by bashes. I wonder if FAs and FFAs talk about BBWs in the same way as well. 

The whole kid in a candy store mentality when one comes out, the cliques, the incestuous dating, the gossip and all happens in the lesbian community too.


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## Victim (Apr 8, 2009)

Alright, just when I thought it might be a good idea to take Theresa to a bash, I see this...


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## LillyBBBW (Apr 8, 2009)

The bashes are a bit different. They are much more social oriented because they last the weekend, people hang out, socialize, make friends, play board games, travel together, etc. The Saturday night singles disco party is where most of the drama happens, yet I was able to make lasting friends there and so fourth despite all this, the main reason I kept going. It's what you make of it.


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## Haunted (Apr 8, 2009)

superodalisque said:


> yes they do. and it doesn't even have to be for something they actually did. true stories:
> 
> i was sitting next to a friend in the lobby at a bash. he is a really nice guy much too smart to sleep around in the community much. a girl who was hot for him called down from her room and said that he was up there with her and was trying to give the impression that something was going on.
> 
> ...



This is exactly why i haven't gone to any of the events. whether or not the stories are true, i don't need the drama, I live just 30 minutes from the heavenly Bodies parties. and i'd love to come and meet some of the people i chat with here on dim's, But i refuse to go till Misty is here to come with me. and it's not that i think anything would happen but i know how i'd feel if she went to one of these bashes without me.


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## chicken legs (Apr 9, 2009)

Wow..what to say about this topic

Well when i first started posting i was very foward about liking bottom heavy guys, and now that i look back, i must have sounded highly creepy...lol.

I forgot i was entering into a new social structure. I have not done that in so long I forgot what it is like to introduce myself. I lived in the same place since birth, most people either know me or at least know my last name (five older brothers and one older sister made way for me..lol), and most people know i love bhm/ssbhm. Plus i was lurking for years in the library section of this site way before the makeover and forgot I never introduced myself..hahahah.

I guess i should go over in reintroduce myself.


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## The Fat Man (Apr 9, 2009)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> *as some one who has made the mistake of trying to balance way too much flirting with way too many promises with zero promise of actual follow through*, I can safely say, it's best to sit back, take it all in and think on it before trying to talk up as many women as possible.
> 
> Because believe me, women/men do talk to each other and you will get a reputation and it will suck.



Hory clap is that statement accurate. There were periods during my tenure here (wow, it really has been over a decade since I found this site) that I would get close to, chat with, even talk to on the phone then get completely gun shy and vanish back into lurker status. I flinch when I think back to that period in my life, shame doesn't begin to describe what I feel about myself in regards to those 'relationships'.

Thankfully I've grown a lot in the years since then and find myself a happily married man able to look back and use those missteps to be a better person and husband.


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## rollhandler (Apr 9, 2009)

SlackerFA said:


> Both of these posts are very, very true.
> 
> Being an FA can make you a "late bloomer" romantically. My own experience was almost exactly like Ben's. I hardly dated at all during high school and college, not for lack of interest.



My dating experiences as an out FA in high school were as follows: I would do my best to grab the attention respectfully of the women I found attractive and be told that I'm too wierd to date.

Some of what I was told by the big girls in high school was true, FAs are a bit different. What I found out later in talking to these girls was that to date a male that thought they were attractive because the were fat girls only lent credence to the fact that they were fat and most were going thru the fat = ugly phase of their lives. Ergo I only date ugly girls and thats just creepy.
On the other hand of that is the clique aspect of high school and most of whom I admired and found attractive were trying hard to fit in with the "in" crowds or at least be aknowleged by them for a sense of normality. Since that wasn't me I got my self esteem battered severely. 

High school dating was more of a humbling experience to me than anything else so in finding Dimensions I never really had the kid in the candy store experience and never really had the fortitude to try to chat up many women. I had been verbally and figuratively slapped down and shot outta the saddle enough before reaching dimchat to learn the humility and respect needed to be here in this sometimes hostile environment which i can best describe as FA Mecca. 

I did however, being a social creature and very outgoing, jump right into the conversations on the chatscreen without reservation and gained a reputation there in that manner. I had no problem PMing several women to tell them how attractive I thought their picture was but only that. I watched and I learned quickly how trolls that went down the list got treated and did my best never to act in that manner.

Late bloomers? Oh yeah I can see how that happens especially to FAs.
Rollhandler


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## The Orange Mage (Apr 9, 2009)

All up until high school, I went to a small private school. My grade had 33 kids in it from kindergarten through 8th grade. The biggest girl in the class by then end was maybe 140 lbs.

Got to high school, maybe 3 girls in the whole school of about 1400 really caught my eye in being both plus-sized and nerdy/gothy/wierdy enough, and they were all upper classmen. I eventually had a friend hook me up with a girl who was a pretty darn good match personality-wise but weighed as much as me. (125 lbs) Lasted a few months, and I ended things. Spent the next two years moping around like a dickbutt until I met my second (and current!) girlfriend who is deliciously chubby. I was very upfront about being an FA that time, but I don't think anything could have really prepared her. Lol. It's been over 3 years now.

But yeah, that's all my dating experience. I'm 22. Late bloomer indeed.


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## BarbBBW (Apr 10, 2009)

I am soo guilty of this!! when I got on DIMS and saw all the men and women who adore BBW, I lost my mind! Honestly! Too read all the threads about the men loving all the curves of a BBW. Loving all the details on a BBW's body. Its like a natural high for me to come on here to DIMS, and get to enjoy chatting with a whole community who are BBW and FA's. Its a utopia for me! I am definately the ""kid in a candy store" when I am on DIMS or at a BASH. I do flirt , alittle too much, alot of people say. But I get that "tingling" feelin in my tummy when i meet FA's in person! Even here on DIMS, I talk to, chat with, or PM with some men and it makes me just smile, Like a BIG smile. Its the feeling of complete happiness. And i just want to smoother all the FA's with hugs and kisses for hours!! Besides other things.
But I restrain myself, for many reasons. On the other things part haha!
Anyways, getting off the subject here. Thats tat for me!


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## James (Apr 16, 2009)

I never really went down this path but I've seen so many guys that have and it generally works out poorly for them regarding their reputations. I have advised... and I would advise... any FA to be aware of the notion that people WILL and DO talk to eachother, especially in a relatively small community such as this one! Think about that before you engage in some 'finding my fat sexuality' experimentation on another person. How are they going to feel about it? In some cases its going to be fine, if that's whats mutually agreed upon? In others its going to lead to immense disappointment and anger. 

I'd venture that the 'kid in the candy store' effect is yet another outcome of the late development of most FAs who often miss out on that stage in their teenage years. Once the floodgates open in the early 20s and beyond, then for some it seems like its a rush to make up for lost time? 

Its a thread for another forum but I wonder if the same effect might be true amongst BBWs upon discovery of their fat sexuality?


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## LillyBBBW (Apr 16, 2009)

James said:


> I never really went down this path but I've seen so many guys that have and it generally works out poorly for them regarding their reputations. I have advised... and I would advise... any FA to be aware of the notion that people WILL and DO talk to eachother, especially in a relatively small community such as this one! Think about that before you engage in some 'finding my fat sexuality' experimentation on another person. How are they going to feel about it? In some cases its going to be fine, if that's whats mutually agreed upon? In others its going to lead to immense disappointment and anger.
> 
> I'd venture that the 'kid in the candy store' effect is yet another outcome of the late development of most FAs who often miss out on that stage in their teenage years. Once the floodgates open in the early 20s and beyond, then for some it seems like its a rush to make up for lost time?
> 
> Its a thread for another forum but I wonder if the same effect might be true amongst BBWs upon discovery of their fat sexuality?



Yes, for many bbw's it is. I know it was for me. I wore the mini skirt 5 sizes too small and the backless top, I entered the wet t shirt contest, I danced topless on a table and I even experimented a little bit with a guy or two which was a BIG step for me. I'm totally liberated as far as being comfortable in my body so the naked dancing and stuff was not a stretch. Experimenting with men was a bit beyond my comfort level though. I suppose I wanted to be one of the girls and see if it would be something I liked. I didn't so that part was very short lived. The outfits and stuff were right up my alley though. Becoming a flaming fatty seems almost a rite of passage for many bbws.


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## ImSoDead (Apr 17, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> Yes, for many bbw's it is. I know it was for me. I wore the mini skirt 5 sizes too small and the backless top, I entered the wet t shirt contest, I danced topless on a table and I even experimented a little bit with a guy or two which was a BIG step for me. I'm totally liberated as far as being comfortable in my body so the naked dancing and stuff was not a stretch. Experimenting with men was a bit beyond my comfort level though. I suppose I wanted to be one of the girls and see if it would be something I liked. I didn't so that part was very short lived. The outfits and stuff were right up my alley though. Becoming a flaming fatty seems almost a rite of passage for many bbws.



And when 'flaming fatties' and kid-in-candystore FAs get together, watch out! I have very fond memories of cruising the dance scene. But I was always careful and respectful in my relationships. I think the whole gossip and reputation comes from casual sex which I do not recommend. Dances are great for flirtation and copping a feel (and I've had my crotch grabbed almost as many times as I grabbed some asses). It helps to keep your perspective.

Having said that I also think that an FA would do well to check out the dance scene before getting into a serious relationship with a SSBBW. FAs like everyone else needs to practice dating before getting serious. Others did that in High School and College whereas most FAs have to wait until they can find the scene as an adult.

YMMV.


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## mergirl (Apr 17, 2009)

I never got to be a kid in a Candy store with bbw's cause whenever i actually talked to a hot bbw i garbled a lot of pish and they would think i was retarded. I'm serious! Anyway..Now i have one beautiful bbw girlfriend and i feel like a kid in a 'sweet shop' every day anyway! *Hoping she reads this and my points go up *


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## LillyBBBW (Apr 17, 2009)

ImSoDead said:


> And when 'flaming fatties' and kid-in-candystore FAs get together, watch out! I have very fond memories of cruising the dance scene. But I was always careful and respectful in my relationships. I think the whole gossip and reputation comes from casual sex which I do not recommend. Dances are great for flirtation and copping a feel (and I've had my crotch grabbed almost as many times as I grabbed some asses). It helps to keep your perspective.
> 
> Having said that I also think that an FA would do well to check out the dance scene before getting into a serious relationship with a SSBBW. FAs like everyone else needs to practice dating before getting serious. Others did that in High School and College whereas most FAs have to wait until they can find the scene as an adult.
> 
> YMMV.



This is very true. I always chuckle at all the handwringing people do over the drama that happens at the bbw parties ozmg! lol There's nothing unique about this social scene or Molly Ringwald would have never had a career. All of these dynamics add up to be an important part of most people's social developement and at these dances everyone is making up for lost time. I dont' see anything wrong with that, mistakes and all. As strange as it was it was also very exciting, liberating, education and enriching for me. I've made life long friends and was able to trace out things about myself that I kinda sorta knew already. 

And thank goodness for the crummy guys who do go to these things, you all ROCK too! Now when my skinny friends say, "Omg, men are such jerks!" I can now join in, "Right?!? Like the time I met this sleazebag from Stoughton......" instead of just sitting there thinking, "boo hoo, I wish her shitty guys would talk to me." I'm no longer an idiot. Thank you.


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## Tau (Apr 17, 2009)

I want to go to a bash sooooo badly! I want to be a total slut bag, wear next to no clothing, indiscriminately make out with whoever I want to, get drunk and high, have tons of sex, cry and bitch about people who upset me and then go home well satisfied LOL!  I love to party, and still party plenty hard, but being the fat girl in a 'thin' setting - even when I'm dancing on tables and groping random hot boys - I'm always slightly on the defensive, just waiting for any fat hating creeps to make a wrong move or say the wrong thing. And even though the fat gatherings obviously have their drawbacks, it must be pure heaven to party in a place where you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you aren't the only one who thinks you're hot


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## LillyBBBW (Apr 17, 2009)

Tau said:


> I want to go to a bash sooooo badly! I want to be a total slut bag, wear next to no clothing, indiscriminately make out with whoever I want to, get drunk and high, have tons of sex, cry and bitch about people who upset me and then go home well satisfied LOL!  I love to party, and still party plenty hard, but being the fat girl in a 'thin' setting - even when I'm dancing on tables and groping random hot boys - I'm always slightly on the defensive, just waiting for any fat hating creeps to make a wrong move or say the wrong thing. And even though the fat gatherings obviously have their drawbacks, it must be pure heaven to party in a place where you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you aren't the only one who thinks you're hot








Don't let THIS^^ happen to YOU. Stay as far away from bash life as possible. I was once like you. Sweet, innocent, beguiled by the lure of popularity, booze and common ground. That all changed when I discovered I too could be a gin soaked whore at a party where I was the sought after ideal. Awful.... TERRIBLE things happen when placed in an uncontrolled environment where dangers lurk in unseemly places. Flee! Save yourself! Before it's too late.


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## exile in thighville (Apr 18, 2009)

my plan was to destroy my reputation as quickly as possible and boom no expectations

worked


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## LillyBBBW (Apr 18, 2009)

I have a question for the FAs here. I've been staring at this screen here trying to figure out the best way to word it so I get my meaning across. I recall when I was in my late teens and early 20s I was pretty much out of the loop with the whole dating scene. Everybody was running back and fourth, who was sleeping with who, who hooked up, who got drunk, etc. Being able to observe all of this in such a detached manner I was able to form opinions on this behavior and decide what I disliked and what I felt was downright silly. Then when I entered in to the bbw scene I myself, as I'm sure many other bbws also, developed that "kid in a candy store" mentality also. Maybe not so much sexually but just in the liberty of being able to wear that cute low cut dress and be the belle of the ball in an environment where I knew it was going to be appreciated.

The downside of this is that it wasn't appreciated by everybody. There were women there who saw me as trashy or loose when I truly wasn't. I found myself being branded with a brush that I myself had used in the past. For me it seemed a bit more difficult to swallow because I felt it didn't really tell the whole story of me and who I am, if that makes any sense. Yeah so ok, clearly its a part of me or I wouldn't do it but it seemed just so inappropriate for me as compared to all the other trashy hoes I'd branded in the past. Afterall, *I* wasn't really a trashy hoe. I just play one on television and was giddy with the knowledge that I too could be a bad Bond girl at least for a moment. 

It's been an eye opener for me to imagine that maybe some FAs experience something similar? I just never thought that far in to it. I wonder how much of this transferrence plays into an FAs mentality when they find themselves thrust into the arena of the bbw follies? An FA friend of mine is so anxious about what people will say about him that he can't seem to get out of his own way at times. Do you find yourself mortified at the thought of being viewed through the same looking glass as that guy you knew that everyone talked about knowing that it's not really what you're about?


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## BBWTexan (Apr 18, 2009)

James said:


> Its a thread for another forum but I wonder if the same effect might be true amongst BBWs upon discovery of their fat sexuality?



Yes, a thread for another forum.

Yes, true.


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## LillyBBBW (Apr 18, 2009)

BBWTexan said:


> Yes, a thread for another forum.
> 
> Yes, true.



Ahh see? Now I feel bad for posting this here.  There might be things in what I said that other women might want to comment about or expound upon but would be inappropriate here in this forum. I could post something in the fat sexuality forum but I'm not sure this has anything to do with sexuality. 

I may use that forum anyway. Lemme think about it a minute or so. Otherwise, my apologies if my posts here are itchy.


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## rollhandler (Apr 18, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> I have a question for the FAs here. I've been staring at this screen here trying to figure out the best way to word it so I get my meaning across. I recall when I was in my late teens and early 20s I was pretty much out of the loop with the whole dating scene. Everybody was running back and fourth, who was sleeping with who, who hooked up, who got drunk, etc. Being able to observe all of this in such a detached manner I was able to form opinions on this behavior and decide what I disliked and what I felt was downright silly. Then when I entered in to the bbw scene I myself, as I'm sure many other bbws also, developed that "kid in a candy store" mentality also. Maybe not so much sexually but just in the liberty of being able to wear that cute low cut dress and be the belle of the ball in an environment where I knew it was going to be appreciated.
> 
> The downside of this is that it wasn't appreciated by everybody. There were women there who saw me as trashy or loose when I truly wasn't. I found myself being branded with a brush that I myself had used in the past. For me it seemed a bit more difficult to swallow because I felt it didn't really tell the whole story of me and who I am, if that makes any sense. Yeah so ok, clearly its a part of me or I wouldn't do it but it seemed just so inappropriate for me as compared to all the other trashy hoes I'd branded in the past. Afterall, *I* wasn't really a trashy hoe. I just play one on television and was giddy with the knowledge that I too could be a bad Bond girl at least for a moment.
> 
> It's been an eye opener for me to imagine that maybe some FAs experience something similar? I just never thought that far in to it. I wonder how much of this transferrence plays into an FAs mentality when they find themselves thrust into the arena of the bbw follies? An FA friend of mine is so anxious about what people will say about him that he can't seem to get out of his own way at times. Do you find yourself mortified at the thought of being viewed through the same looking glass as that guy you knew that everyone talked about knowing that it's not really what you're about?



I would either turn into a wallflower at a bash or a babbling idiot myself. Both of which are totally not me but given the nature of the bashes and my anxiety levels of social events with large numbers of people it takes a length of time to acclimate. This is intensified when there are a large number of attractive women involved. What makes this worse is that Ive never met these women, but through the boards they know a lot of things about me, and have already formed an idea of who they think I am, while I know nothing about them. 
I can truly see how going to a bash would be nerve wracking. I can also see that in a first time bash senario there can be wrong first impressions all around, some quite embarrasing and many mistakes made. 
Rollhandler


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## CCC (Apr 18, 2009)

rollhandler said:


> What makes this worse is that Ive never met these women, but through the boards they know a lot of things about me, and have already formed an idea of who they think I am, *while I know nothing about them*.



Why not try chatting beforehand? You know, like an even exchange of personal information. That's what I've been trying anyway.

But maybe I'm just falling into precisely the predicament detailed in this thread! Oh dear...


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## superodalisque (Apr 18, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> I have a question for the FAs here. I've been staring at this screen here trying to figure out the best way to word it so I get my meaning across. I recall when I was in my late teens and early 20s I was pretty much out of the loop with the whole dating scene. Everybody was running back and fourth, who was sleeping with who, who hooked up, who got drunk, etc. Being able to observe all of this in such a detached manner I was able to form opinions on this behavior and decide what I disliked and what I felt was downright silly. Then when I entered in to the bbw scene I myself, as I'm sure many other bbws also, developed that "kid in a candy store" mentality also. Maybe not so much sexually but just in the liberty of being able to wear that cute low cut dress and be the belle of the ball in an environment where I knew it was going to be appreciated.
> 
> The downside of this is that it wasn't appreciated by everybody. There were women there who saw me as trashy or loose when I truly wasn't. I found myself being branded with a brush that I myself had used in the past. For me it seemed a bit more difficult to swallow because I felt it didn't really tell the whole story of me and who I am, if that makes any sense. Yeah so ok, clearly its a part of me or I wouldn't do it but it seemed just so inappropriate for me as compared to all the other trashy hoes I'd branded in the past. Afterall, *I* wasn't really a trashy hoe. I just play one on television and was giddy with the knowledge that I too could be a bad Bond girl at least for a moment.
> 
> It's been an eye opener for me to imagine that maybe some FAs experience something similar? I just never thought that far in to it. I wonder how much of this transferrence plays into an FAs mentality when they find themselves thrust into the arena of the bbw follies? An FA friend of mine is so anxious about what people will say about him that he can't seem to get out of his own way at times. Do you find yourself mortified at the thought of being viewed through the same looking glass as that guy you knew that everyone talked about knowing that it's not really what you're about?



i agree with that 100%. thats why i'm pretty empathetic to the stuff FAs go through in that way and why i understand even when i complain. add into the mix that the people that really float your boat are relatively rare if your an FA, particularly if you prefer SSBBWs. they are people you don't often get to see socially. if you happen upon one on your own somewhere your often not taken seriously. and even when you do they aren't always your type or very self aware. i mean if i was put into a situations where there were tons of people within my preference all in one place...i wouldn't know where to go first either. thats why i encourage FAs who approach me to slooooowww dowwwwn  and think about what they really want. its probably a good idea to be friends first. it might not be fair but a lot of FAs have what i call a half life. generally they've had the dating experiences of someone half thier age. and i don't mean that in a way to call them immature. its just truly the level of experiences many have had. and there are some experiences they never ever get to have at all.

its good to know things are getting better now because of places like dims where young FAs can get some of the earlier experiences before its late in the game. i feel bad that sometimes i expect FAs to act exactly like thier counterparts who are not. you expect them to "grow up" (not meant negatively) a whole lot faster than they should necessarily. its almost like forcing a 17 yr old into marriage to expect people without experiences to know their mind exactly and dedicate themselves to you fully even when they want to. at some point its just plain unfair. i know a lot of BBWs disagree. they say" well what about me? i haven't been able to have a lot of experiences either." they are exactly right. and thats why they should also have the time to do what you, me and other BBWs have done and will do--which is experiment. i think the key for FAs and BBWs is to just to be as honest as you can about where you are. then the person you are with won't be taken by surprise. its not the fact that an inexperienced person is going to look around thats the problem to most BBWs i think. they just don't want to get in too deep with someone in that place and get hurt.


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## rollhandler (Apr 18, 2009)

CCC said:


> Why not try chatting beforehand? You know, like an even exchange of personal information. That's what I've been trying anyway.
> 
> But maybe I'm just falling into precisely the predicament detailed in this thread! Oh dear...



First you need to know who is viewing your material, then you need to have them want to get in touch with you, then you need to have the time to chat with them on an individual basis or even want to do so one on one or in a chatroom. They have to want to get to know you beyond your post, find out how to get in touch with you, have time to do so, etc. 

On your end if you are viewing someone elses material do you want to have that many names on your chat list and try to make time for them or not. can you humanly do this on an ongoing basis. etc.

There are a number of board readers that frequent chat, some that merely lurk on one or the other and some that are only on the boards and some that are only chat. the logistics of what you mention are only possible on an insanely limited level if you think about it. 

In chat I feel comforable with myself and with the chatters but for some reason I feel exposed in situations such as these where some know me through my works and some through my words, and not only do I not know who they are by their faces, but which of these people like me for my works and words and which ones would I be best to avoid. 

How interesting it would be to see a really hot woman, wander over and introduce yourself to her for the first time and have her face turn to an expression of disgust as It registers to her that you were the guy who said, (fill in the blank) and totally offended her in a no turning back no explainations will be accepted kinda way. 
I realize that this probably not going to happen, I also know my luck.
I will therefore worry until it simply doesnt happen and I get past the irrational fear and acclimate to the environment of the party.
Until then I will be a nervous wreck.
Rollhandler


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## LillyBBBW (Apr 18, 2009)

You will find that your presence on the board makes a much deeper impression than you anticipate. If you have a picture up somebody, possibly everybody will recognize you. People are so hung up on having everyone feel welcome at the events that we look for newcomers we recognize. While some are as shy as you are and will only look at you and smile others are not so inhibited. While you are still standing at the counter checking in to the hotel a voice in the distance will say, "Hey! Is that [Rollhandler/CCC]?" You turn around at hearing your name called and there's SoVerySoft, Nancygirl, Blackjack and another woman you don't recognize reclining in chairs in the lobby. They say, "Hey, how was the drive up? Glad you could make it, bla bla bla...." and your cherry is pretty much broken. You needn't go around handing out business cards on the board. It might surprise you to know that many people are looking forward to meeting you though they don't make a public declaration on the board.


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## mergirl (Apr 18, 2009)

superodalisque said:


> i think the key for FAs and BBWs is to just to be as honest as you can about where you are. then the person you are with won't be taken by surprise. its not the fact that an inexperienced person is going to look around thats the problem to most BBWs i think. they just don't want to get in too deep with someone in that place and get hurt.



I think Fa's are just as likely to get hurt by fat people who have the same 'kid in a candy store' mentality. I think new to the scene fat people and Fa's are more simmilar than they realise. For some, to be in a room where they are more desired by more people than they have been must be pretty exciting just as being in a room filled with more people that you are more attracted to must feel. I guess it must be a pretty potant experience for Fa's and Fat people alike..i can everyone would act like a bunch of slags! I think its normal. Aye, though..i think honesty is best..maby there should be a 'new to the scene and mental' room. 
Ive never been to a fat party..not ever  But have lived vicariously through my friend for the last 8 years! She does enough fat partying for us both!


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## rollhandler (Apr 18, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> You will find that your presence on the board makes a much deeper impression than you anticipate. If you have a picture up somebody, possibly everybody will recognize you. People are so hung up on having everyone feel welcome at the events that we look for newcomers we recognize. While some are as shy as you are and will only look at you and smile others are not so inhibited. While you are still standing at the counter checking in to the hotel a voice in the distance will say, "Hey! Is that [Rollhandler/CCC]?" You turn around at hearing your name called and there's SoVerySoft, Nancygirl, Blackjack and another woman you don't recognize reclining in chairs in the lobby. They say, "Hey, how was the drive up? Glad you could make it, bla bla bla...." and your cherry is pretty much broken. You needn't go around handing out business cards on the board. It might surprise you to know that many people are looking forward to meeting you though they don't make a public declaration on the board.



This in itself is part of the anxiety for me. Not having time to acclimate before being thrust into
OMG theres this wow sexy woman waving at me and i have to make a good first impression hows my breath, did i shave, is that my armpits i smell, i cant believe i thought i could get away with wearing this someplace without being caught out, Oh god dont get a hardon now in these pants, hows my hair, Do i know this persons name? omg i should know this person....why cant i think of this persons name....... A second or two later I say HI! and feel like i am going to pass out.


Of course once the introductions are passed around and the conversations start, things mellow out. This is just an example of how anxious "I" get and i know that I am not the only one. Given that, its easy to see how some get the wrong impressions at these social events of the people they thought they knew. People out of their element act differently as they work out their comfort levels and anxieties with meeting people socially in large group settings. Its also easy to see how some make fools of themselves for the same reasons.
Rollhandler


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## LillyBBBW (Apr 18, 2009)

rollhandler said:


> This in itself is part of the anxiety for me. Not having time to acclimate before being thrust into
> OMG theres this wow sexy woman waving at me and i have to make a good first impression hows my breath, did i shave, is that my armpits i smell, i cant believe i thought i could get away with wearing this someplace without being caught out, Oh god dont get a hardon now in these pants, hows my hair, Do i know this persons name? omg i should know this person....why cant i think of this persons name....... A second or two later I say HI! and feel like i am going to pass out.
> 
> 
> ...



I think that's pretty much true of everyone though, women as well. We've all been there which is why we try to make people feel welcome and aren't put off when the person sputters, "errr, fine I guess," when we ask their name. Everyone is nervous meeting for the first time. It does no good to warn that we get spinach caught in our teeth too I suppose.


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## mergirl (Apr 18, 2009)

rollhandler said:


> This in itself is part of the anxiety for me. Not having time to acclimate before being thrust into
> OMG theres this wow sexy woman waving at me and i have to make a good first impression hows my breath, did i shave, is that my armpits i smell, i cant believe i thought i could get away with wearing this someplace without being caught out, Oh god dont get a hardon now in these pants, hows my hair, Do i know this persons name? omg i should know this person....why cant i think of this persons name....... A second or two later I say HI! and feel like i am going to pass out.
> 
> 
> ...


I think if you chatted to some of the people you knew were going to the bashes before you went and told them how anxious you got they would understand..maby you could get to know each other a bit before you met and maby you could meet a couple of people for a drink before you actually went into a dance. I think if you know people know you are anxious ..it will make you less so..(if that makes sense). Most people are anxious at big gatherings anyway.. you wont be alone. x


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## Tau (Apr 21, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> Don't let THIS^^ happen to YOU. Stay as far away from bash life as possible. I was once like you. Sweet, innocent, beguiled by the lure of popularity, booze and common ground. That all changed when I discovered I too could be a gin soaked whore at a party where I was the sought after ideal. Awful.... TERRIBLE things happen when placed in an uncontrolled environment where dangers lurk in unseemly places. Flee! Save yourself! Before it's too late.



*hugz* I appreciate the advice


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## BigBeautifulMe (Apr 21, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> I have a question for the FAs here. I've been staring at this screen here trying to figure out the best way to word it so I get my meaning across. I recall when I was in my late teens and early 20s I was pretty much out of the loop with the whole dating scene. Everybody was running back and fourth, who was sleeping with who, who hooked up, who got drunk, etc. Being able to observe all of this in such a detached manner I was able to form opinions on this behavior and decide what I disliked and what I felt was downright silly. Then when I entered in to the bbw scene I myself, as I'm sure many other bbws also, developed that "kid in a candy store" mentality also. Maybe not so much sexually but just in the liberty of being able to wear that cute low cut dress and be the belle of the ball in an environment where I knew it was going to be appreciated.
> 
> The downside of this is that it wasn't appreciated by everybody. There were women there who saw me as trashy or loose when I truly wasn't. I found myself being branded with a brush that I myself had used in the past. For me it seemed a bit more difficult to swallow because I felt it didn't really tell the whole story of me and who I am, if that makes any sense. Yeah so ok, clearly its a part of me or I wouldn't do it but it seemed just so inappropriate for me as compared to all the other trashy hoes I'd branded in the past. Afterall, *I* wasn't really a trashy hoe. I just play one on television and was giddy with the knowledge that I too could be a bad Bond girl at least for a moment.
> 
> It's been an eye opener for me to imagine that maybe some FAs experience something similar? I just never thought that far in to it. I wonder how much of this transferrence plays into an FAs mentality when they find themselves thrust into the arena of the bbw follies? An FA friend of mine is so anxious about what people will say about him that he can't seem to get out of his own way at times. Do you find yourself mortified at the thought of being viewed through the same looking glass as that guy you knew that everyone talked about knowing that it's not really what you're about?



OMG. Yes, yes, and yes. EXACTLY. +10000. 

Sorry, going back to lurking in this forum now.


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## LillyBBBW (Apr 21, 2009)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> OMG. Yes, yes, and yes. EXACTLY. +10000.
> 
> Sorry, going back to lurking in this forum now.



*Psst* You might want to check out the 'Tramps Trollops and Whores' thread on the sexuality board.


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## exile in thighville (Apr 22, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> The downside of this is that it wasn't appreciated by everybody. There were women there who saw me as trashy or loose when I truly wasn't. I found myself being branded with a brush that I myself had used in the past. For me it seemed a bit more difficult to swallow because I felt it didn't really tell the whole story of me and who I am, if that makes any sense. Yeah so ok, clearly its a part of me or I wouldn't do it but it seemed just so inappropriate for me as compared to all the other trashy hoes I'd branded in the past. Afterall, *I* wasn't really a trashy hoe. I just play one on television and was giddy with the knowledge that I too could be a bad Bond girl at least for a moment.
> 
> It's been an eye opener for me to imagine that maybe some FAs experience something similar?



the problem is them, not you. there's nothing wrong with being "trashy" or "loose" in itself...barring a closed relationship or an irresponsible STD record. enjoy yourself, you only live once. will there be women who will be put off by this and turn you down? sure, that's a risk you take. but you're only a "slut" if you believe in sluts. there's nothing guilty about pleasure. i feel bad for those people.


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