# FFAs and nerd - lovers--why the correlation?



## Tad (Apr 25, 2006)

It seems a very large fraction of the FFA who post on these boards claim to like nerds. I'm sure this is higher than seen in the general population.

Any speculation on why the correlation? Ladies, to you are these two things connected somehow? 

-Ed


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## MsGreenLantern (Apr 25, 2006)

Well, I'm not an FFA, but I must say my male ideal must be a big dork, because I am myself a big dork. He can't make fun of me for anime, star trek (NG), video games, or liking weird cute foreign things...it must be loved  And I suspect that for most women it is merely a matter of common interests! women who like computers want a guy who knows about them, girls who dig movies want a man who can spout quotes with the best of them!
And lets face it...being nerdy isn't the norm really. I guess being a BHM kinda goes with it...and most nerdy guys have a stigma of leading sedenatary lifestyles in front of a glowing screen too..

PS: glasses are sexy


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## moonvine (Apr 25, 2006)

I'm not a FFA, I'm a guy I like admirer. Most of the guys I like tend to be somewhat fat. I like centers, guards and tackles. I also like nerds though.

Now a center who was also a nerd and liked fat chicks..that'd be awesome.

P.S. Lots of nerds are skinny. In fact I think that is the stereotype.


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## Falling Boy (Apr 25, 2006)

*I totally beg your pardon*


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## missaf (Apr 26, 2006)

I dunno what it is, but a lot of Geeks and Nerds are BBW lovers, too. I always get hit on at Best Buy, by employees and customers alike!


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## moonvine (Apr 26, 2006)

missaf said:


> I dunno what it is, but a lot of Geeks and Nerds are BBW lovers, too. I always get hit on at Best Buy, by employees and customers alike!



OMG..Best Buy has the *cutest* employees..never been hit on there though. I'd be happy if I did.


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## exile in thighville (Apr 26, 2006)

edx said:


> It seems a very large fraction of the FFA who post on these boards claim to like nerds. I'm sure this is higher than seen in the general population.
> 
> Any speculation on why the correlation? Ladies, to you are these two things connected somehow?
> 
> -Ed



i don't think there's any specific pattern just for FFAs, Ed. It goes both ways. I'm a straight male FA and I dig nerdy gals, albeit confident, sexy ones (a librarian type perhaps who wears a skirt?). and yeah, glasses are hawt. plus, nerds are smart, and FAs are smart. ;-)


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## ocean-girl (Apr 26, 2006)

edx said:


> It seems a very large fraction of the FFA who post on these boards claim to like nerds. I'm sure this is higher than seen in the general population.
> 
> Any speculation on why the correlation? Ladies, to you are these two things connected somehow?
> 
> -Ed




Hey Ed,
yeah, my guy has to be smart, and the nerd/dork/geek factor means smart AND fun (goofy fun, my fav). the fact that he is smart + nerd/dork/geek + fat? heaven. and what is extra funny to me about that is that i feel it as a real physical thing- why o why didn't i just accept that as a teenager- i'll never know. *laments*

of course, this is based on my definition of nerd- there are a few tests out there on the internet somewhere...


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## Melian (Apr 26, 2006)

I second the comment about liking nerds because they "can't make fun of me."

Haha. No really, I love intelligent men who unapologetically deviate from the trendy, popular male image; this is a quality I also enjoy about BHM.


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## eightyseven (Apr 27, 2006)

I'm an offensive lineman type build (5'10'', 235 lbs.), a self-proclaimed nerd (not in the "typical" computers/comics/glasses way... but I read and take notes on my Sociology textbooks for fun, know about any random professional/college sports fact, and have an uncanny photographic memory along with a love for quoting movies incessantly), and ABSOLUTELY LOVE fat chicks... I don't really know what that means as far as fitting/breaking stereotypes, but I just thought I'd lay that out there.


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## AnnMarie (Apr 27, 2006)

Almost every great FA I've ever met has been a nerd (that's a good thing). 

I don't think it's gender specific.


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## UberAris (Apr 27, 2006)

I am a follower of the the dorkism and nerdism followings

Warhammer 40,000, Starwars, and Trekie pride!!!


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## inertia (Apr 27, 2006)

i suspect that- though a lot of girls might deny this, or be unaware of it- the attraction to fat guys is at least partly due to them being unthreatening.

Fat guys are very masculine due to their bulk, but their primary sexual features (yeah, I mean those) are...minimised. And the fat gives them some other features that we'd tend to associate with the feminine (breasts, curves generally, big bum and thighs). 

Other things that are unthreatening: glasses. Shyness. Interest in sedentary, thoughtful pastimes like reading and gaming....i.e. 'geeky' things.

That's what I reckon, anyway. I tend to believe that it's that combination that's behind the sexual attraction to fat lads- they're big and strong, so the part of a girl that wants a macho protector is satisfied, but they're also 'safe.'

They're very masculine, but also neutered, in effect. 

Hmm...my degree is _not_ in psychology, so I'm quite happy to be corrected....


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## moonvine (Apr 27, 2006)

inertia said:


> i suspect that- though a lot of girls might deny this, or be unaware of it- the attraction to fat guys is at least partly due to them being unthreatening.
> 
> Fat guys are very masculine due to their bulk, but their primary sexual features (yeah, I mean those) are...minimised. And the fat gives them some other features that we'd tend to associate with the feminine (breasts, curves generally, big bum and thighs).
> 
> ...




I don't think you can generalize like that. Fat men, like fat women, are built differently. Yes, some have big butts/hips/thighs (and I tend not to be attracted to that, quite honestly, I think because subconsciously I tend to associate it with femininity, and I'm very attracted to masculine men). Of course this often doesn't work out for me because they treat me like [email protected], but that's a whole nother issue. Some also have big shoulders/arms/bellies, with smaller butt, hips and thighs proportionately which I DO associate with being masculine, and I AM attracted to. Of course I still believe that physical characteristics are the least important thing about a person so it really isn't that big a deal. Just if I am picking out guys I think are cute without knowing anything about them I will pick the big arms/shoulders/belly guys every time.

You're also stereotyping the glasses/reading/gaming/shyness thing. I don't see anything wrong with glasses/reading/gaming or shyness for that matter. I am shy myself, and have glasses/reading/gaming habits. But there are fat men who are not shy, who like to play sports (so they aren't all sedentary), who don't like to read. This to me is just as bad as saying all fat women eat a lot and are sedentary, when they clearly don't/aren't. I'm not attracted to shy guys myself. I'm attracted to guys who really own their bodies, their preferences, and everything else. And they are out there - the same as fat women who own *their* bodies.


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## moonvine (Apr 27, 2006)

eightyseven said:


> I'm an offensive lineman type build (5'10'', 235 lbs.), a self-proclaimed nerd (not in the "typical" computers/comics/glasses way... but I read and take notes on my Sociology textbooks for fun, know about any random professional/college sports fact, and have an uncanny photographic memory along with a love for quoting movies incessantly), and ABSOLUTELY LOVE fat chicks... I don't really know what that means as far as fitting/breaking stereotypes, but I just thought I'd lay that out there.



I knew before I looked at who wrote this that it was eightyseven. I think if I were to describe my ideal man, this would be pretty damn close. Don't you have a slightly older, equally cute brother?

Who has the most bowl games and most bowl wins?


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## inertia (Apr 27, 2006)

hi, moonvine- maybe you didn't read the start of the thread.

the person who started the thread was commenting that a lot of FA's also seem to be attracted to stereotypically geeky/nerdy qualities in a mate.

i wasn't saying that fat guys necessarily possess these geeky/nerdy qualities.

i was considering why they might be attractive, particularly to people who also like fat.

see?

Of course not all fat guys are geeky/nerdy- my boyfriend, for one, is ridiculously confident, laid-back and- unfortunately- not interested in anything remotely geeky. 

I like superficially masculine guys, too- that was my point, that fat guys look big and masculine, and can be very masculine, but in subtle ways their masculinity is undermined. 

sigh.

Is it the way I write, or is it other people? My tutors in university don't seem to have any trouble understanding my writing, so I'm inclined to suspect it's the latter.


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## moonvine (Apr 27, 2006)

inertia said:


> hi, moonvine- maybe you didn't read the start of the thread.



I have been reading the thread since the beginning.



> the person who started the thread was commenting that a lot of FA's also seem to be attracted to stereotypically geeky/nerdy qualities in a mate.



Yes, and lots of times we have thread drift here.... 



> I like superficially masculine guys, too- that was my point, that fat guys look big and masculine, and can be very masculine, but in subtle ways their masculinity is undermined.



I guess my point was that it doesn't necessarily have to be undermined just because they are fat...I don't think my femininity is underminded just because I'm fat. I really don't think that there is any correlation there. Maybe we just have a difference of opinion. It wouldn't be the first time I've disagreed with someone here. 



> Is it the way I write, or is it other people? My tutors in university don't seem to have any trouble understanding my writing, so I'm inclined to suspect it's the latter.



It is the Internet, I think.


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## inertia (Apr 27, 2006)

yeah- i think it's the internet! I'll agree with you on that one. Misunderstanding abounds...

You say that you feel your femininity isn't undermined by your being fat. Many (especially guys here) would probably say that a woman's femininity is _enhanced_ by being fat. 

That's the point.

As we're always told, fat is feminine (or femin_ist_) issue. It's something more associated with the feminine, which leads me back to my point.

I'm not saying that all fat people are androgynous- that would be ludicrous, not to mention dangerous...

...i wouldn't want to piss off any fat people


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## ocean-girl (Apr 27, 2006)

yeah, i agree that the perceived vulnerability that a larger fellow may have DOES attract me, AND makes me feel safer, so would their confidence; even more so. In my little world of definitions, and having stated that the nerd/geek thing is almost always associated with intelligence moderated by goofy-fun type personality, even when shy, that I find the intelligence the MOST threatening aspect. I love it the most, and I fear it the most. But, I don't think it has anything to do with the feminine aspect of a male being bigger, I do LOVE the softness and all, but I also love breadth, and stockiness, and an underlying musculature- not necessary, but still attractive. Let me reiterate, these are not meant as generalizations, just, my experience.

On a side note, I am perpetually fascinated by the fact that all my smart/geeky-tech friends are consumed by sci-fi, and it has definitely turned me around. (if any of you are trying to rope in a non-sci-fi person, I recommend Firefly as a good entrance *sigh* are the EVER going to get this online thing going?)


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## Buffetbelly (Apr 27, 2006)

My first notion of the FA/FFA/BHM/BBW connection to geekdom was my first sci fi convention when I was in college. I had never seen so many fat guys and gals together in one place. There was a severe shortage of women, and the fact that some of the women were very fat seemed to be no impediement to their popularity! Actually, BHM tended to be the ones most left out, if only because we were in massive oversupply!

The gender balance at sci fi cons seemed to be improving as time went on --have no idea what it's like now.


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## SisterGoldenHair (Apr 27, 2006)

as much as i may be uncomfortable to confront that, you may have something there Inertia. in fact, i'm sure you do. that is definitely a facet of the attraction. 

oh, for the record, i love geeks too.
but that's because i am one. i am a big geek. my boyfriend isn't so much of a geek, but he's close enough where we have enough in common and different enough where it's interesting, and we don't get on eachother's nerves.

off-topic.

anyway... i also think that (and i can only speak for myself) it has something to do with my whole "nurturing" instinct... i have a very strong need to "take care" of my love interests. i'm a nest-builder. so while confidence can be very sexy, i tend to fall for a hint of shyness, awkwardness, vulnerability... that means i can take care of him. but i also want him to be able to take care of me. and partly that means being physically "big and strong," but also to have a strong core, strong ideals, devotion, and a certain amount of stoicism. i like a guy who is generally strong, but is also able to expose his weaknesses to me, and let me in to help him.

i'm not positive where the whole FFA thing fits in there, i can't really consciously find it... but what you're saying makes sense, and i must admit that probably has a little to do with it. or a lot. i don't know. all i know is fat guys are sexy... whether they're shy nerdy boys or loud rowdy confident boys. as long as he lets me pamper him somehow we're good.


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## eightyseven (Apr 28, 2006)

Who has the most bowl games and most bowl wins?[/QUOTE]

No older brother... I'm the oldest of 4. But to answer your question... that would be the University of Alabama Crimson Tide. I'm not surprised you asked that. Here's a not-so-surprising question from me (considering my bias): Which school has the most all-time Division 1-A college football wins? My hint is to look at my avatar... hehe.

My apologies for going off-topic here. This is an intriguing thread and to just add my not even two cents... I actually agree with INERTIA to an extent. That's a very well thought out interpretation and while, as MOONVINE pointed out, that may not always be the case- it seems like the whole "strong but safe" concept could be a huge subconscious factor. Beyond that, it's all about what is aesthetically pleasing. It's the same reason I love fat women... they're hot! So yes, it's a combination of so many things that makes someone attracted to another, of course.


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## Buffetbelly (Apr 28, 2006)

This thread rated zero donuts for a complete absence of hot gainer fantasies and abundance of deep philosophical and sociological observations.


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## William (Apr 28, 2006)

Hi GL

I knew a BBW/FFA that was a Trekie and I asked her if that meant that she had a Star Trek uniform in her closet. She proudly proclaimed that she had two 

William (Who has read all the Dune books and has DVDs of both Movies)





MsGreenLantern said:


> Well, I'm not an FFA, but I must say my male ideal must be a big dork, because I am myself a big dork. He can't make fun of me for anime, star trek (NG), video games, or liking weird cute foreign things...it must be loved  And I suspect that for most women it is merely a matter of common interests! women who like computers want a guy who knows about them, girls who dig movies want a man who can spout quotes with the best of them!
> And lets face it...being nerdy isn't the norm really. I guess being a BHM kinda goes with it...and most nerdy guys have a stigma of leading sedenatary lifestyles in front of a glowing screen too..
> 
> PS: glasses are sexy


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## rachel (Dec 1, 2006)

*laugh* I guess it's a good thing I wasn't around for the hayday of this thread. I'd hate to have had to out myself as the biggest geek on the planet. >.>

Let me just say though, going to any kind of gamer event is like going to a gainer convention. Every last guy I have ever gamed with has managed to pack on like 5 lbs every few months. Without fail.

I am iffy about dating geeks, though. On one hand, it's nice to have something in common with a partner. And dating a guy who can't beat me at video games at least occasionally is a giant turn off.  But at the same time, the standards of hygene amongst many nerds is seriously icky. And they all seem traumatized by life, making them submissive, shy or mysogenistic, or all three. :/

rachel


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## Zagnut (Dec 1, 2006)

rachel said:


> I am iffy about dating geeks, though. On one hand, it's nice to have something in common with a partner. And dating a guy who can't beat me at video games at least occasionally is a giant turn off.  But at the same time, the standards of hygene amongst many nerds is seriously icky. And they all seem traumatized by life, making them submissive, shy or mysogenistic, or all three. :/



I hear you on the issues with many geeks. I'm a geek myself, but in a more professional manner. I enjoy reading scifi, work in IT and have a good deal of computer related knowledge subsequently. I tend to have more geeky, goofy humor and I do own a complete set of RPG dice.

On the other hand, I shower twice a day, don't get caught up at all in fandom, don't really game much at all except the occasional game of Warcraft III solo as a time killer or distraction. I've only been to one con (many years ago), and I am currently engaged and live with a beautiful and wonderful FFA. I'm not submissive to her at all ... I'm the dominant ;-)

I guess I consider myself "geek for pay." In action I'm probably more like an old school goth, heh.


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## Ample Pie (Dec 1, 2006)

I'm am also *not* strictly a FFA...there are many large male forms I admire and I adore large women, but I can't claim the title FFA. What I can say is that I love nerdy guys and girls. Don't really know why or if there's a corelation for the high number of FFAs who like nerdy guys.


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## Tad (Dec 1, 2006)

rachel said:


> I am iffy about dating geeks, though. On one hand, it's nice to have something in common with a partner. And dating a guy who can't beat me at video games at least occasionally is a giant turn off.  But at the same time, the standards of hygene amongst many nerds is seriously icky. And they all seem traumatized by life, making them submissive, shy or mysogenistic, or all three. :/
> 
> rachel



Welcome your geekness  Unfortunately I tend to agree with you about the crowd that you tend to find around those sort of activities. I like a lot of geeky things, but I never tended to hang around the usual sort of haunts because, well, they just weren't pleasant. I have gone to a total of three conventions, two because a friend was involved in in organizing them to one degree or another (In that crowd he introduces me as his 'normal' friend), and one because they had an amazing cast of authors: Zelazney, Brust, McKillip, De Campe. I got to hear Zelazney read a bit "A Night in the Lonesome October" a few months before it was published, it was very cool. I just don't see why liking all that sort of stuff leads so many people into living a miserable excuse for a life.

-Ed


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## lemmink (Dec 1, 2006)

I'm a little scared of geeks. I often find that they are a bit too screamy for me and I always feel as if I'm being watched and judged if I hang out with them. I don't know how to interact with them or how to make conversation, and yeah. They freak me out. I do like guys who are into nerdy passtimes like me though (writing stories, cyberpunk stuff, using the internet) but who aren't exactly nerds. 

I did go to a webcomic convention once for five minutes. It took me that long before I started to get paranoid that all the nerdy people I'd been mean to in high-school were going to come back and attack me. Then I ran away. True story.


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## Wanderer (Dec 2, 2006)

<raises hand> One well-fed nerd, right here. I can name you the continuity errors in most Star Trek episodes, I'm a sometime Game Master, have characters in and for several systems, and even assisted in beta-testing for the Victoiriana RPG. Heck, I'm also a member of Furry Fandom; and if you're wondering, we're not overpopulated by lightweights.

Sadly, furry conventions (the only one I can afford to go to is Memphis Mephit FurMeet) are heavily male-dominated. A pity when you're a naturally-talented masseur whose only beneficiaries are other guys... :/

Yours truly,

The wolf-loving,

Wanderer


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## SisterGoldenHair (Dec 2, 2006)

lemmink said:


> I'm a little scared of geeks. I often find that they are a bit too screamy for me and I always feel as if I'm being watched and judged if I hang out with them. I don't know how to interact with them or how to make conversation, and yeah. They freak me out. I do like guys who are into nerdy passtimes like me though (writing stories, cyberpunk stuff, using the internet) but who aren't exactly nerds.
> 
> I did go to a webcomic convention once for five minutes. It took me that long before I started to get paranoid that all the nerdy people I'd been mean to in high-school were going to come back and attack me. Then I ran away. True story.




well us geeks aren't necessarily socially maladjusted. and some of us have more to our lives than our geekdom. some of us let it go too far... i don't come on that strong, myself. but if you happen to mention a book/comic book/movie/cartoon that i love, the geek switch goes on. i love comic books, and i still watch cartoons, and i collect action figures, and i'm a writer, and just generally weird, and these things combine to make me a geek. we are a much misunderstood race.


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## This1Yankee (Dec 2, 2006)

I have to admit, I love a nerd. I actually have a shirt that says "Dork Magnet". But I'm not an FFA.... more like a FPA, Female Pudge Admirer. 

Quirky intelligence is highly appreciated to this girly.


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## AZ_Wolf (Dec 3, 2006)

We need some sociologists and a large study!  I'm not sure if the same correlation between FFAs that are also nerd-lovers that we have here would exist in the general population. Obviously FFAs will be here. And since it's an internet web-board on a website someone won't find without knowing how to use a search engine and navigate the web, the women that end up here would tend to be more inclined to like computers and the net. That of course doesn't make someone a nerd-lover, BUT I think it's a good indicator, just like if you went to a social activist website/web-board, you'd find a greater percentage of people that were very interested in politics.

The one gaming convention I went to didn't have the greatest gender balance, either, but I don't recall noticing any more or less heavier women there than anywhere else. It *was* about 15-16 years ago....And I was still the skinny gym-rat then. I only got hit on by one person while I was there -- a super-ultra-majorly-over-the-top gothy gay guy. I say all that simply because the whole "opposites attract" thing must have been in full force for him.


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## lemmink (Dec 3, 2006)

I've had too many encounters of the uber-geek kind to be comfortable amongst them. That said, I've got a friend who collects Battlestar Gallactica figurines but also manages an incredibly awesome punk band, and another friend who's a total tech geek but also the female singer for a pretty famous uk industrial group. I guess it's how much the geek identifies as geek (and 'acts' geek) that matters to me. 




SisterGoldenHair said:


> well us geeks aren't necessarily socially maladjusted. and some of us have more to our lives than our geekdom. some of us let it go too far... i don't come on that strong, myself. but if you happen to mention a book/comic book/movie/cartoon that i love, the geek switch goes on. i love comic books, and i still watch cartoons, and i collect action figures, and i'm a writer, and just generally weird, and these things combine to make me a geek. we are a much misunderstood race.


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## Laina (Dec 4, 2006)

lemmink said:


> I've had too many encounters of the uber-geek kind to be comfortable amongst them. That said, I've got a friend who collects Battlestar Gallactica figurines but also manages an incredibly awesome punk band, and another friend who's a total tech geek but also the female singer for a pretty famous uk industrial group. I guess it's how much the geek identifies as geek (and 'acts' geek) that matters to me.




I'm a geek and you love meeeeeeee!

So there!


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## AZ_Wolf (Dec 4, 2006)

Laina said:


> I'm a geek and you love meeeeeeee!
> 
> So there!




I do.


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## Laina (Dec 4, 2006)

AZ_Wolf said:


> I do.



*giggle*

I meant Lemmink. She does, just ask her.


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## persimmon (Dec 4, 2006)

If not for the Internet, it would have probably taken me an extra 10 years to figure out and admit to myself that I like fat guys. Instead, I read a lot of porn as a teenaged undergrad, concluded I couldn't deny the physical evidence, and married a fat guy at 23.

Nerds know the Internet is for porn and are likely to have empirically tested their share, so possibly are more clear about what flips their switches. Many normal people (like me, before college) muddle through with middling levels of attraction for their partners. Of course, normal people use the internet for porn now, too. So if this was ever a factor, its influence is probably declining.

persimmon


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## butterflyblob (Dec 5, 2006)

I'm an FFA who loves nerds (and _Avenue Q_!). I don't know if there's a correlation, although I would describe myself as chubby and nerdy. Maybe I'm attracted to people who are similar to me?


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## Spiff (Dec 5, 2006)

i love BHMs, i love nerds, i can only speak for myself, i may be the exception more than the rule, but...

...*i'm* a nerd!!! i went throug school in a gifted program and still passed with flying colors without really putting forth a great deal of effort. i'm a book nerd, i work in a library, my life revolves around our local renaissance festival...should it come as a surprise that i would prefer nerds too? maybe there is a tendency for FFAs to also prefer nerds, maybe not, but...lol, Chris, you're reading my mind on the whole sociological study thing. i'm thinking maybe a lot of FFAs, even if not so much outwardly, are nerds at heart. because in a society that rams standards of beauty down its people's throats at every opportunity, it does take a bigger mind to get past that and see it for the load of BS that it is...to like what you like, social norms be damned...to be a FA or a FFA. now, i could be WAY off on this...i've been quite sick lately, it's very late, and i'm heavily drugged, this could be the prescription cough syrup talking, but...it's a thought. i've recently started seeing a guy i went to school with....never really got to know him through school, we just started hanging out post-college, hit it off...and he's a gorgeous BHM, he's a HUGE nerd, and i just can't get enough of him.  

lol, anybody heard that new Weird Al song, "White and Nerdy"?


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## Tad (Dec 5, 2006)

Spiff said:


> lol, anybody heard that new Weird Al song, "White and Nerdy"?



I've only heard it a couple of times, but I love it! I think it is actually better than "Riding Dirty" the song it is sending up. Maybe I just like the humour angle better than the brooding angle. I'm thinking I have to get a copy of it somehow, it might just be my theme song *L* (although I'm not _that_ nerdy, but I can certainly identify with it.

Regards;

-Ed
PS. I don't know if there is a correlation there either, but there seem to be a lot of brainy FFA around here :wubu:


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## Zagnut (Dec 5, 2006)

Spiff said:


> lol, anybody heard that new Weird Al song, "White and Nerdy"?



The video is an absolute riot!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkhMcyuYroA


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## moonvine (Dec 5, 2006)

edx said:


> I just don't see why liking all that sort of stuff leads so many people into living a miserable excuse for a life.



Maybe they like their lives, and don't think their lives are a miserable excuse for a life.

I like my life where many people would not.


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## Zagnut (Dec 5, 2006)

moonvine said:


> Maybe they like their lives, and don't think their lives are a miserable excuse for a life.
> 
> I like my life where many people would not.



Hear hear!

Most people would think that I, as a BHM, live a miserable life and that I hate myself and am an emotionally damaged loser.

In fact, I am a somewhat geeky hedonist that enjoys the hell out of life.

I could easily get into more geeky and nerdy pursuits, but I don't have enough time what with work, artistic hobbies, traveling and enjoying my family, friends and lady love.

Oh the horror! ;-)


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## lemmink (Dec 5, 2006)

Laina said:


> *giggle*
> 
> I meant Lemmink. She does, just ask her.



I whole-heartedly endorse this viewpoint or product. Hehe.

You're the geekception to the rule!


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Dec 5, 2006)

Actually, "riding dirty" means having sex with a fat girl, Ed... Or rather, it's kind of a sexual game. 



edx said:


> I've only heard it a couple of times, but I love it! I think it is actually better than "Riding Dirty" the song it is sending up. Maybe I just like the humour angle better than the brooding angle. I'm thinking I have to get a copy of it somehow, it might just be my theme song *L* (although I'm not _that_ nerdy, but I can certainly identify with it.
> 
> Regards;
> 
> ...


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## KuroBara (Dec 6, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Actually, "riding dirty" means having sex with a fat girl, Ed... Or rather, it's kind of a sexual game.


It doesn't have anything to with the cops trying to find warrants on the rappers? Oh, this song has just lost all "street cred" with me!


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## Laina (Dec 9, 2006)

edx said:


> Welcome your geekness  Unfortunately I tend to agree with you about the crowd that you tend to find around those sort of activities. I like a lot of geeky things, but I never tended to hang around the usual sort of haunts because, well, they just weren't pleasant. I have gone to a total of three conventions, two because a friend was involved in in organizing them to one degree or another (In that crowd he introduces me as his 'normal' friend), and one because they had an amazing cast of authors: Zelazney, Brust, McKillip, De Campe. I got to hear Zelazney read a bit "A Night in the Lonesome October" a few months before it was published, it was very cool. I just don't see why liking all that sort of stuff leads so many people into living a miserable excuse for a life.
> 
> -Ed



Unrelated to anything at all but I loved Lonesome October. <3


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## Tad (Dec 13, 2006)

moonvine said:


> Maybe they like their lives, and don't think their lives are a miserable excuse for a life.



I have no problem with people who are happy as they are. I've just met an unfortunate percentage of hard-core geeks who honestly seem miserable with their lives. Many are very intelligent, and seem to be able to identify the reasons that they are miserable in these areas, but are unwilling or unable to change those things. I admit I phrased that overly harshly--I'm totally guilty of writing too many posts in haste lately, and not editting for how they'll read as opposed to how I hear them in my head. However I've known a few well enough to say that with fair confidence that they are choosing to avoid trying to deal with the world, and when you refuse to even try, then I have little sympathy. It reminds me very much of Zagnuts advice to BHM with regard to dating and generally 'being a man,' in that it is about the change more than the status. It was those folks of which I was thinking.

To repeat: those who like their life, whatever their life is, I am happy for. Those who do not like their life, and do not try to change the parts that they don't like, I feel a little sorry for, but overall am not very sympathetic towards them. It reminds me very much of Zagnuts advice to BHM with regard to dating and generally 'being a man,' and how if you

Putting it that way I realize that in part this is probably the zeal of the convert--I made choices to avoid being in that place, and a lot of them were not easy choices for me, so I expect others to be willing to make those choices if that is not where they want to be. I'm normally pretty sympathetic, so this harshness in me is something I should look at, as I'm not crazy about it.

Regards;

-Ed


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## Mercedes (Dec 14, 2006)

Hmmmm I can dismantle and build a pc... amongst other things - does that make me a geek? :batting: 

I'm a (smallish) ffa, but certainly a submissive one, if not submissive then I'd say non-dominant...

:doh: I can't believe I found out the courage to type all this out... :wubu:


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## Tracyarts (Dec 17, 2006)

Well, I wouldn't say I am a "FFA" but I have found men of all sizes (and that includes fat) to be attractive if the nonphysical stuff clicks too. 

And yeah, for me, a guy has to be in at least *some* way nerdy, geeky, dorky, or just left of center or quirky... for me to really find him attractive. 

I guess because *I* am that way myself. I find somebody attractive who I can relate to. And I can relate to those kinds of men more easily and closely than I can relate to any other. And it doesn't matter if only their closest friend knows about their sci-fi novel collection or quick dashes to the game store. Or if there is no doubting their nerdiness at first glance. 

So, be they fat, thin, short, tall, younger, older, whatever... as long as they had at least some shred of that nerdiness vibe going, I looked twice. 

Tracy


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## rabbitislove (Dec 17, 2006)

inertia said:


> As we're always told, fat is feminine (or femin_ist_) issue.{/QUOTE]
> 
> 
> Exactly. Anything that has to do with privledge is a feminist issue because privledge of race, class and gender - as well as ableism and fatphobia all affect WOMEN and womens equality. You are on the motherfucking ball.
> ...


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## Solarbip (Jul 16, 2007)

Sorry for bumping such an old thread. But I loved it. Read the whole thing. 



I'm a huge geek is some ways, I play a LOT of video games, and have been on the net for at least 14 years. I can build and rebuild a pc with ease. But I rap, and I don't think that's nerdy. So that hopefully balances me out a lil. 



But I never even knew about FFAs until a few days ago. I didn't think many women liked fat guys, in THAT way. I typed in something along the lines of "chicks that like fat guys" into google and here I am. 


ANYWAY, just wanted to say nice thread, and nice read.


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## Cyrano (Sep 22, 2007)

Cameradoes!

I flatter myself that I have a niche nearly all to my humble self. I am more swords-and mugs-o-ale than most geeks. (But I disparage said geeks not at all; indeed, I respect them heartily.) My degree in the liberal arts being a sometime poet means I am not easily placed among the macho grunting types. And, odd, wouldnt you know I love the demoiselles who are also niche-dwellers! But of course!

Love from old France,

Cyrano


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## Wanderer (Sep 22, 2007)

rabbitislove said:


> As for fat guys, Im more attracted to booksmarts. Like a guy who I can sit in my bathtub with and talk about current events with. And I have before. *grin*. I remeber telling my roomate about it and her response was: "HOW? The bathtubs here are so SMALL!"
> 
> hehe.



One hopes she facepalmed immediately after. After all, the difference between "cozy" and "too small" is how close you _want_ to be.

Yours in a lonely mood,

The romantic-feeling,

Wanderer


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## RVGleason (Sep 22, 2007)

From Disney's 'An Extremely Goofy Movie'. Has a nice FFA/BHM side-plot between college students:

"Oh, Wise Buddah Boy!"

RV :eat1: 

View attachment Goofy04.jpg


View attachment Goofy05.jpg


View attachment Goofy06.jpg


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## Wanderer (Sep 22, 2007)

Pity they've never revisited PJ since; from the looks of things, he was well on his way to eclipsing his old man's girth. (Best typified by the line, "cheap, defective doorway...")

Yours truly,

The pic-appreciating,

(It's good for inspiration.)

Wanderer


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## PamelaLois (Sep 22, 2007)

eightyseven said:


> I'm an offensive lineman type build (5'10'', 235 lbs.), a self-proclaimed nerd (not in the "typical" computers/comics/glasses way... but I read and take notes on my Sociology textbooks for fun, know about any random professional/college sports fact, and have an uncanny photographic memory along with a love for quoting movies incessantly), and ABSOLUTELY LOVE fat chicks... I don't really know what that means as far as fitting/breaking stereotypes, but I just thought I'd lay that out there.



Marry me?


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## Wanderer (Sep 23, 2007)

Tracyarts said:


> Well, I wouldn't say I am a "FFA" but I have found men of all sizes (and that includes fat) to be attractive if the nonphysical stuff clicks too.
> 
> And yeah, for me, a guy has to be in at least *some* way nerdy, geeky, dorky, or just left of center or quirky... for me to really find him attractive.



Hm. FFA? Check.

Likes quirky guys? Check.

Texas? Check.

Already taken years before I ever found out about her?

Aw, nuts.:doh: 

It's a good thing hope grows well in virgin soil... 

Yours with nothing to do on weekends,

The bored-and-lonely,

(But also totally broke, which rather spoils the idea of going out and doing something about it,)

Wanderer


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## Qit el-Remel (Sep 26, 2007)

I like fat nerds who don't fit the stereotype thereof.  

And I liked "An Extremely Goofy Movie," despite the fact that PJ's love interest never out-and-out admitted to being (or was overtly identified as) a FFA. (After all, actions speak louder than words, right? )

-Qit


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## Aurora (Sep 26, 2007)

This is a great thread. I don't really have much more to add other than a raised hand in that I'm a definite nerd lover too.  What's not to love?


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## RVGleason (Sep 26, 2007)

Qit el-Remel said:


> I like fat nerds who don't fit the stereotype thereof.
> 
> And I liked "An Extremely Goofy Movie," despite the fact that PJ's love interest never out-and-out admitted to being (or was overtly identified as) a FFA. (After all, actions speak louder than words, right? )
> 
> -Qit



True, but, it was obvious she was attracted to PJ, and PJ was taken with her from the beginning. Note in the dance floor scene that she sidles up to PJ right away and is attracted to PJ's intelligence, in which she says the 'Oh, wise Buddah Boy!' line, which you can say doubles as a reference to PJ's intelligence and his size. 

View attachment Goofy06.jpg


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## Qit el-Remel (Sep 26, 2007)

RVGleason said:


> True, but, it was obvious she was attracted to PJ, and PJ was taken with her from the beginning. Note in the dance floor scene that she sidles up to PJ right away and is attracted to PJ's intelligence, in which she says the 'Oh, wise Buddah Boy!' line, which you can say doubles as a reference to PJ's intelligence and his size.


As I've stated: Actions speak louder than words. 

-Qit


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## MetalGirl (Jun 18, 2008)

I'm a FFA and I prefer nerdy, geeky, and dorky guys for pontential mates. The probability for ridicule for my love of sci-fi might be reduced by possibly dating a nerd, but it has more to do with shared interests than anything else. I do love a guy with glasses though.


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## Ninja Glutton (Jun 20, 2008)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Actually, "riding dirty" means having sex with a fat girl, Ed... Or rather, it's kind of a sexual game.



Nah, "Riding dirty" means driving with weed/coke/illicit drugs in the car. The cops are trying to catch him "riding dirty." I hear that term frequently when people are driving with drugs in their car.


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## Buffetbelly (Jun 22, 2008)

I think the confusion arises from the Weird Al parody of "Ridin' Dirty", which is entitled "White N' Nerdy". Here's the link:

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xg00c_white-and-nerdy-parodie-riding-dirt_music


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## unconventional (Jun 22, 2008)

I have to say... there is just something about a nerd and his semi-lack of arrogance that envokes a slight turn on. I would prefer a guy that is a little more of a nerd or a geek because they seem to be more caring than other types of guys. At least in my opinion. 
<33


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## FreneticFang (Jun 23, 2008)

You know, I never really noticed this pattern.
But, I will say my dream boy is definitely nerd material.

I like smart, I like fat, and I definitely dig a guy into fantasy things like WoW or mage books.

I don't know what the correlation is though. Just know that's what makes me swoon. :wubu:


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## FreneticFang (Jun 23, 2008)

RVGleason said:


> True, but, it was obvious she was attracted to PJ, and PJ was taken with her from the beginning. Note in the dance floor scene that she sidles up to PJ right away and is attracted to PJ's intelligence, in which she says the 'Oh, wise Buddah Boy!' line, which you can say doubles as a reference to PJ's intelligence and his size.




I LOVED that movie!


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## tribaltattoos75 (Jun 23, 2008)

FreneticFang said:


> You know, I never really noticed this pattern.
> But, I will say my dream boy is definitely nerd material.
> 
> I like smart, I like fat, and I definitely dig a guy into fantasy things like WoW or mage books.
> ...



Hey on your way to LA from miami you want to swing by north georgia and pick me up? I grew up on dungeons and dragons and even have a black unicorn tattoo to represent my more mystical side


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## Eroica86 (Jun 29, 2008)

I think that is part of the attraction. I know I prefer a nerd type, but nerds I've encountered fell into two categories; twig and BHM. I myself am a nerd.. light and sound tech/computers/gamer and musician/artist, so I'm naturally attracted to those I can relate to. Again, picking the larger of the two stereotypes from my experience goes along with wanting to feel feminine. And yes, often times the bigger fluffy guys are nerdy


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## Rojodi (Jun 29, 2008)

All my life, I've known I was different. I LOVED sports, would play them all day. BUT, I would start my day off with a book, any book. I would go up into a tree and read, or would go to the park and sit under the pines and maples, reading before I'd head off to the basketball courts.

Yes, it is true. Most nerds are skinny, VERY skinny. In college, I studied Computer Science. A majority of us were skinny, I started off as one. But now, I am fat, but still NERDY.


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## Smite (Jun 29, 2008)

Yeah i'm with Rojodi. Always was into sports, always played them, but was always a super nerd behind closed doors (cyberpunk literature, video games, "nerdy" music). It just so happens that I grew up fat. Oh well! 

But yeah, from my observations from BFC, there seems to be a link between FFA and nerd lovers. I'm not declaring all ffa's as nerd lovers but it's defintly there.


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## HollyGirl (Jun 29, 2008)

I'm a geek/nerd/dork lover too. i love the glasses, i love that they are skinny and i love that they have a brain. A good conversation can totally get me in the mood... that and they are just as emotionally depraved as I am half the time and when we meet its like sensory overload.


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