# Thinner wife = happier marriage



## blubrluvr (Dec 8, 2011)

What a pile of crap!

http://news.discovery.com/human/thinner-wife-happier-marriage-110725.html


----------



## LinathSuru (Dec 8, 2011)

blubrluvr said:


> What a pile of crap!
> 
> http://news.discovery.com/human/thinner-wife-happier-marriage-110725.html



WOW... That is such a load of crap. Why do people do this kind of research? I'll never get it.


----------



## Dr. Feelgood (Dec 8, 2011)

blubrluvr said:


> What a pile of crap!
> 
> http://news.discovery.com/human/thinner-wife-happier-marriage-110725.html



But at least it's amusing crap. I was tickled by the advice to wives: if the happiest marriages are those in which the husband has the higher BMI, and your BMI is higher than your husband's, you should lose enough weight so that hubby has the higher BMI! Hurray for science! This is approximately equivalent to saying that if it is true that redheads have fiery tempers, then coloring your hair red will make you more assertive. :doh:


----------



## SuziQ (Dec 8, 2011)

So...does this mean if wives fatten up their husbands so the wife is slimmer that would make a better marriage? It's often what happens anyway although I think a lot of guys don't see themselves as having more weight than normal. My father was about 6 ft tall and a hefty 230 lbs, but a lot of the extra in his belly. He would talk about women being too heavy unless they were very thin, but would finish up by saying _he_ wasn't fat.


----------



## loveembig (Dec 8, 2011)

Another "new study" big fucking deal. 

When are people the so-called journalistic world going to learn that most studies are NOT science or even newsworthy? :doh: They are rigged experiments designed to reach a conclusion that supports a particular agenda.


----------



## LovelyLiz (Dec 8, 2011)

Whew, thanks for posting this. Now if I only lose 160 pounds or so I can weigh less than my boyfriend, in case we decide to get married.

That was a close call.


----------



## Weirdo890 (Dec 8, 2011)

Science!!!


----------



## CastingPearls (Dec 8, 2011)

Weirdo890 said:


> Science!!!


*Pseudo*-science = bullshit

FTFY


----------



## Weirdo890 (Dec 8, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> *Pseudo*-science = bullshit
> 
> FTFY



Pseudo-science gets you nowhere here. That only gets you to be a writer on _Star Trek: Voyager_.


----------



## Azrael (Dec 9, 2011)

As per usual, a study doesn't take things into consideration...

I wonder... have they ever considered that the majority of men find slender women sexually attractive and many women tend to think that being thinner is the ideal?

Because, you know, it could be that in a society which tends to discriminate against people of larger size that a women who is thinner might feel much better about herself because she's not being discriminated against constantly for being fat.

It could also be that since the wife is thinner she's seen as sexy to the average man and so that part of the relationship might be quite strong as opposed to when a women gains weight and the husband is fonder of thinner women.

Oh and let's not forget that they essentially gave out the message that fatties should _stick to their own kind_. Yes, that's a _wonderful_ message .

Oh who am I kidding, the obvious answer is that _clearly_ a thinner wife means a happier marriage


----------



## chicken legs (Dec 9, 2011)

Escapist showed this article to me either yesterday or today and was going to post it in the BHM/FFA section. I told him it would most likely not get a positive response from most of the women on this site. 

Personally, I'm not shocked by these findings. The world is a basically a male dominated society. So this really should not be shocking to anyone but aliens from another planet. Plus the proof is in the pudding when you look at the BHM/FFA section and threads that question why true FA's are rare. 

I am shocked, however, that money was wasted on researching this shit. Also, I feel for my some of my FA brethren because they get flack for what they like already without studies like this being published.


----------



## Dr. Feelgood (Dec 9, 2011)

Azrael said:


> Oh and let's not forget that they essentially gave out the message that fatties should _stick to their own kind_. Yes, that's a _wonderful_ message .



Works for me.  To paraphrase Rabbi Hillel: if we are not for ourselves, who will be? Or perhaps Ben Franklin: if we do not hang together, assuredly we shall all hang separately. I understand what you're saying, and I agree that we should be open to -- and friendly with -- people of all shapes and sizes. But when the lines are drawn -- as they are, every day -- I think we need to stick to, and with, our own kind first. By which I mean simply that, when I worry about fitting in, I need to stop and ask myself just who it is that I want to fit in with...and why.


----------



## agouderia (Dec 9, 2011)

The results of this survey are not the least bit surprising - and in essence are less about fat discrimination than the positive reinforcement of conforming to society's standards.

You'll get the same results if you look at statistics of the divorce rates of let's say women who earn more than their husbands - they're higher too than in those marriages in which women earn less.

The ruling social stereotyp happens to be that in a relationship, the man is supposed to be older, taller, bigger, richer, smarter, whatever ...

All relationships conforming to this sterotyp have the automatic advantage of receiving social acceptance instead of having to overcome resistance.

No matter how romantic the idea of 'us two against the rest of the world' might seem, it's failure rates are high in the real world. Fitting in is always rewarded.

Not a pleasant finding .... but not a surprising one either.


----------



## TexasTrouble (Dec 9, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> Whew, thanks for posting this. Now if I only lose 160 pounds or so I can weigh less than my boyfriend, in case we decide to get married.
> 
> That was a close call.



Don't worry, McBeth. You don't have to get thinner...just grow a foot or so taller. Voila!

This study bugs me for several reasons: among them what other variables they were controlling for. For example, issues like health status, economic status, etc. may also be correlated with size AND have way more impact on happiness at marriage. 
The other reason is purely anecdotal. But the last few years it seems like the majority of guys who check me out (gosh, I feel gross just typing these words) are married guys with kids and really thin wives. I am really the last woman on the planet to assume a guy is looking at her in that way, so when I notice it, it's got to be fairly obvious. It always skeeves me out and I feel like saying, "Listen, YOU chose to go with skinny, so don't be lookin' at me and my chubby self all drooly." So I'd be interested to see how these stats played out over time. Do they stay happiest?


----------



## bigmac (Dec 9, 2011)

The interpretation of the data seems to be suspect. The reason thin wives score higher is likely not that they are particularly happy but that fat wives tend to be particularly sad. 

Social scientists often fall into this type of trap. My favorite example is how people interpret the fact that Iowa and Vermont high school students on average consistently out perform students in New York and California. Contrary to popular belief, this doesn't mean that Iowa and Vermont produce superior students (i.e. that their best students do better than the best students from New York and California). Rather, it is a product of the fact that Iowa and Vermont have fewer bad students.

Likewise, what we're likely dealing with here are fat wives who are more sad than average. This makes sense socially and demographically. A fat woman married to a thinner husband (especially if he is not an FA) may feel like she has few options and little power (i.e. buys into the line that there's no one else who would have her). Thus it's the perceived lack of power and/or options (i.e. she can't do any better but he -- being thinner -- can always replace her).

Note: I've seen FA's use these arguments to keep fat women under their thumb too.

The solution is, therefore, not weight-loss but consciousness raising.

Reminds me of the Peal Jam song "Better Man"

_Waitin', watchin' the clock, it's four o'clock, it's got to stop
Tell him, take no more, she practices her speech
As he opens the door, she rolls over...
Pretends to sleep as he looks her over
She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man...
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man...
Can't find a better man (2x)
Ohh...

Talkin' to herself, there's no one else who needs to know...
She tells herself, oh...
Memories back when she was bold and strong
And waiting for the world to come along...
Swears she knew it, now she swears he's gone
She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man...
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man...
She lies and says she still loves him, can't find a better man...
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man...
Can't find a better man (2x)
Yeah...

She loved him, yeah...she don't want to leave this way
She needs him, yeah...that's why she'll be back again
Can't find a better man (3x)
Can't find a better...man...
Ohh...ohh...
Uh huh... (5x)
Ohh..._


----------



## SuziQ (Dec 9, 2011)

bigmac said:


> The interpretation of the data seems to be suspect. The reason thin wives score higher is likely not that they are particularly happy but that fat wives tend to be particularly sad.
> 
> Social scientists often fall into this type of trap. My favorite example is how people interpret the fact that Iowa and Vermont high school students on average consistently out perform students in New York and California. Contrary to popular belief, this doesn't mean that Iowa and Vermont produce superior students (i.e. that their best students do better than the best students from New York and California). Rather, it is a product of the fact that Iowa and Vermont have fewer bad students.
> 
> ...



I really appreciate your logic and interpretation. I think there are thin women who physically feel better when they are thin and some that are very concerned about what other people think and feel better when they are thin and "fit in." 

I also think you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned control. I was in a study group one time where a husband mentioned his wife felt better about herself because she lost 2 lbs. She had weighed 92! He was a perfectionist, middle-aged, Porsche-driving yuppie so I would suspect he let his opinion be known to her.

Approval and appreciation are delightful to have ~~ especially when we can give it to ourselves and _then_ enjoy it given with love from others.


----------



## LovelyLiz (Dec 10, 2011)

TexasTrouble said:


> Don't worry, McBeth. You don't have to get thinner...just grow a foot or so taller. Voila!



Oh okay, no problem! Thanks for the tip. But I think it would really be more like 6 feel taller. 

There's probably as much likelihood of that as me losing 160 pounds, so there ya go.


----------



## NoWayOut (Dec 10, 2011)

I have always wanted to be the thin one in my marriage, if I ever marry, so this study is junk to me.


----------



## musicman (Dec 10, 2011)

chicken legs said:


> I am shocked, however, that money was wasted on researching this shit.



I am willing to bet that this so-called "research" was funded by a diet company, and I'm sure they considered it money well spent. Here's all we need to remember: Academic research results that disagree with the sponsor's objectives are quietly shelved, or published in obscure journals. You never hear about them. Research that supports the sponsor's goals is widely disseminated in press releases.


----------



## Ned Sonntag (Dec 10, 2011)

musicman said:


> I am willing to bet that this so-called "research" was funded by a diet company, and I'm sure they considered it money well spent. Here's all we need to remember: Academic research results that disagree with the sponsor's objectives are quietly shelved, or published in obscure journals. You never hear about them. Research that supports the sponsor's goals is widely disseminated in press releases.


 There's no:blink: way the Big Corporations have been able to figure out to make money:bounce: off Size Acceptance.:wubu: If I were a Paid Consultant I'd think of an angle.:eat2:


----------



## Anjula (Dec 10, 2011)

In general-I think it's bulshit but if somehow it would be true then, well...


----------



## joswitch (Dec 10, 2011)

LinathSuru said:


> WOW... That is such a load of crap. Why do people do this kind of research? I'll never get it.



To sell diet pill, diet plans, diet books etc. = sucking up the plentiful misery $$dollar.


----------



## Keb (Dec 10, 2011)

I dunno. Judging by some of the blogs I've seen...there are a very large number of men out there who are mortally offended by the fact that any woman, anywhere, has an ounce of flesh on her bones other than in the breast region. 

It's very depressing reading. And this is yet another depressing study that insists I don't have a prayer ever of finding love & marriage unless I shrink to a third of my size overnight (oh, and get younger while I'm at it).


----------



## swinglifeaway (Dec 10, 2011)

Aside from the fact that this is a common sense article because those men who prefer thinner women are going to feel that way anyway, there may also be a little bit of legit science involving a hormone called Oxytocin somewhere in there. The women who exercise regularly can produce more of it than others and can actually appear more 'trusting and loving'. That's not saying that if you're fat then you must be a calloused uncaring rock, you probably produce enough of it anyway. If you're talking about keeping the 'spark' in a marriage, it could very well play a factor depending on the chemistry of the body.

I'm still disappointed in the Discovery Channel; I wish they would go back to documentaries about cool/new/interesting stuff instead of old men yelling at each other and Cash Cab.


----------



## CastingPearls (Dec 10, 2011)

swinglifeaway said:


> Aside from the fact that this is a common sense article because those men who prefer thinner women are going to feel that way anyway, there may also be a little bit of legit science involving* a hormone called Oxytocin *somewhere in there. *The women who exercise regularly can produce more of it than others and can actually appear more 'trusting and loving'. *That's not saying that if you're fat then you must be a calloused uncaring rock, you probably produce enough of it anyway. If you're talking about keeping the 'spark' in a marriage, it could very well play a factor depending on the chemistry of the body.
> 
> I'm still disappointed in the Discovery Channel; I wish they would go back to documentaries about cool/new/interesting stuff instead of old men yelling at each other and Cash Cab.


That's assuming that all thin women exercise and all fat women don't which is baloney.

Plus, all women produce ocytocin when they have an orgasm (which they can give themselves) and other studies have indicated that fat women actually have more satisfactory sexual experiences.


----------



## swinglifeaway (Dec 10, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> That's assuming that all thin women exercise and all fat women don't which is baloney.
> 
> Plus, all women produce ocytocin when they have an orgasm (which they can give themselves) and other studies have indicated that fat women actually have more satisfactory sexual experiences.



I never meant to imply that fat women don't exercise, if you read it as that if you want to have a lasting marriage then you should commit to an exercise routine and lose weight then that's my fault for not clarifying and it can most likely cause more problems than it fixes and that's not what I meant to say at all. My intention was just to throw in a bit of science to contribute to the dialogue.


----------



## chicken legs (Dec 11, 2011)

I was picking up a board game yesterday and saw this couple where the guy was shorter than his girlfriend by a couple of inches (which you don't see much unless they are a "model" and she looked like one) and it reminded me of an ex whom I was taller than when I wore heels. I have to say it did put a strain on the relationship even though he outweighed me by a hundred pounds. 

I think the study should have looked at not only weight but height as well when talking in physical terms. Also money and social status can effect a relationship's well being.


----------



## That Guy You Met Once (Dec 11, 2011)

Well, the obvious solution is for guys to get fat too. That way we're all happy.


----------



## LovelyLiz (Dec 12, 2011)

chicken legs said:


> snipped
> I think the study should have looked at not only weight but height as well when talking in physical terms. Also money and social status can effect a relationship's well being.



Oh yeah, and while they're at it, they can also look at common values, energy level, religion, education level, interests, conflict style, self-awareness, style of humor, attachment to material things, prioritizing conformity to social norms, and desire to grow as a person.

Then they might get somewhere.

Except for the fact that I don't think happiness can be tested in some kind of standard way for everyone, and love is beyond quantification.

So no, the "study" just sucks.


----------



## MissAshley (Dec 12, 2011)

What bogus research.


----------



## MamaLisa (Dec 12, 2011)

chicken legs said:


> I was picking up a board game yesterday and saw this couple where the guy was shorter than his girlfriend by a couple of inches (which you don't see much unless they are a "model" and she looked like one) and it reminded me of an ex whom I was taller than when I wore heels. I have to say it did put a strain on the relationship even though he outweighed me by a hundred pounds.
> 
> I think the study should have looked at not only weight but height as well when talking in physical terms. Also money and social status can effect a relationship's well being.



I love ur comment ...there are so many contributing factors when it comes to relationships and they are quite complex.. what isnt complex is the BMI rating.. its bullshit .. i know a size 2 girl who has EE boobs and her BMI says she is obese.. same with GI.. the basic principle makes sence.. but the GI of a mars bar is less than watermelon woooo for GI lol


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD (Dec 12, 2011)

My husband is not even close to my weight.I get no complaints.Amazing what "society"tries to sell us.He was over my shoulder reading the article and just told me that "You know I love you're curves"...god,i love that man!!:smitten:


----------



## TheIceManVer2.0 (Dec 12, 2011)

well, my gf is about 10lbs lighter than me. But I am 9" taller and male, so she is def way fatter. And we are happy as could be!


----------



## Russell Williams (Dec 12, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> Whew, thanks for posting this. Now if I only lose 160 pounds or so I can weigh less than my boyfriend, in case we decide to get married.
> 
> That was a close call.



or he can gain 160 pounds. Does it not work both ways.?


----------



## LovelyLiz (Dec 12, 2011)

Russell Williams said:


> or he can gain 160 pounds. Does it not work both ways.?



Very true, I guess it could work that way. A scenario that is equally impossible.


----------



## ribbondancer (Dec 14, 2011)

I can't really see how that is a direct link to a happier marriage... If a woman is happy with her figure, rather than feeling insecure for being larger than her husband, then a happier marriage is only a byproduct of her happiness. A woman could lose weight and still be in an unhappy marriage because being slimmer than your husband isn't going to solve other problems that you may be experiencing as a couple.


----------



## Happenstance (Dec 23, 2011)

Weirdo890 said:


> Science!!!









'I hear the jury's still out on science.'

I promise that after I get my sociology degree, I won't use it to do things like this.


----------



## EMH1701 (Dec 28, 2011)

LinathSuru said:


> WOW... That is such a load of crap. Why do people do this kind of research? I'll never get it.



Probably because they get free money to do it.


----------

