# BBWFA's, BHMFA's, Thin FA's Would You Gain?



## imfree (Nov 2, 2011)

Hi Guys, much to my delight, as a BHMFA, I'm finally seeing a few BBWFA ladies in these forums. If you will, sound off if you are BBWFA or BHMFA. If you're a thin FA, would you gain if your partner were FA, too?


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## LeoGibson (Nov 2, 2011)

That's too many alphabets mane. I'm all confuddled. Next thing we gonna be doing maffs.:huh:

I got lost trying to figure all them abbreviations out, I'm not sure now what I am. Do I still prefer women?:doh:


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## imfree (Nov 2, 2011)

LeoGibson said:


> That's too many alphabets mane. I'm all confuddled. Next thing we gonna be doing maffs.:huh:
> 
> I got lost trying to figure all them abbreviations out, I'm not sure now what I am. Do I still prefer women?:doh:



Near as I can figure, you're a TXFA!:doh:

Ah dawn't do maff's. I jes trah diffrunt resisters, till thu smoke stops!


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## appleleafer (Nov 2, 2011)

Hang on, which box do I tick to get the free 3 month trial of the cable movie channels?


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## Zowie (Nov 2, 2011)

*swoops in*

TO THE FA FORUM WITH YOU!


*swoops out*


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## Lil BigginZ (Nov 2, 2011)

Been there, done that.

Fuck no!

I'm actually trying to dig myself out of the shitty whole I put myself in because of gaining.


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## Melian (Nov 2, 2011)

Hell no. 

1. I am naturally very thin, so gaining would be difficult/expensive/annoying.
2. Fuck having to buy a new wardrobe.
3. I don't change to please people.


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## Paquito (Nov 2, 2011)

Why would an FA match up with another FA unless they were both fat anyway?

Why are these things happening?


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## appleleafer (Nov 2, 2011)

Isn't this covered by the whole "mutual gainer" umbrella anyway?


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## analikesyourface (Nov 2, 2011)

Paquito said:


> Why would an FA match up with another FA unless they were both fat anyway?
> 
> Why are these things happening?



I know that although I've never dated somebody under 300 (recently) and liked it, I'm dating somebody who is actually my age and 120 pounds. 

Sometimes when people date, they have to ignore their lack of attraction for a bit... xD 

And test out threesomes and open relationships and feeding in the process


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## The Orange Mage (Nov 3, 2011)

Melian said:


> Hell no.
> 
> 1. I am naturally very thin, so gaining would be difficult/expensive/annoying.
> 2. Fuck having to buy a new wardrobe.
> 3. I don't change to please people.



Bingo! I eat like a MANIAC during the holiday season and put on all of 10 lbs at most, and then it all disappears by the time Spring rolls around anyways, so why bother trying? :huh:


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## appleleafer (Nov 3, 2011)

The Orange Mage said:


> Bingo! I eat like a MANIAC during the holiday season and put on all of 10 lbs at most, and then it all disappears by the time Spring rolls around anyways, so why bother trying? :huh:



Well at least the eating like a maniac part is fun, right?


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## Goreki (Nov 3, 2011)

Nope, and I'd never ask my partner to either.
I don't change to please people, and I'm not enough of an arsehole to ask people to change for me.


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## Zandoz (Nov 3, 2011)

Nope. I'm not into intentional gaining at all. For others, if it works for them, cool. Plus, if I gain any more I might have to apply for my own zip code, and from what I hear the paperwork is absurd :doh:


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## Shosho (Nov 3, 2011)

Nope! I like the way I am now, and I wouldt want to buy new clothes, haha


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## MaryElizabethAntoinette (Nov 3, 2011)

I would never, EVER, gain for someone else. 

I'd never date an FA either. I mean, why date someone who is specifically sexually attracted to something you are not and will never be? 
After all, I'm one of those thin people who, genetically, will always be thin. I'm just built small. So yeah, even if it was possible, I would NEVER change myself for anyone else.

Plus, most of the male FA's I've talked to are so incredibly rude... almost to the point where I want to claw their faces off. Like on ff, and sometimes on here, I'll always get the jackass FA who tells me I'd be be better looking if I was fat. It makes me wanna mutilate them... they're just lucky they're behind the safety of their computer screen. 
Of course I'm not saying all male FA's are like that, in fact, most of them aren't... just, there are always a few bad apples in every bunch.


And likewise, I would never ask someone to gain for me. Hell, even if they *are* into it, I don't ask them to gain. But of course, I'll encourage, if they tell me to.
But, if anything, I just let it happen on it's own. After all, if they are _that_ into gaining... then it'll happen, with or without me. 

Like, you have those people who pretend they are into gaining, but in reality... all they are into is the attention they get from others while gaining. I've had guys tell me that they _can't_ gain without help from an FFA - but that's total crap. 
If it was the fat they wanted, they wouldn't need the companion to do it for them. In those cases, it's not the fat itself that they want, but rather, the companion to join them on the ride. It's just silly that they can't admit that.


But of course, I'm not the biggest fan of the whole feeder/feedee/gainer scene. I'd rather have an ALREADY fat man, where all those other things are irrelevant.


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## Deanna (Nov 4, 2011)

I will not be with someone I want to change. I enjoy challenges, but not that kind. And he better not want to change me or he'll be out on his ass. That being said, the relationship dynamic of erotic feeding can be _so sexy_, and I don't consider indulging a man in this fantasy as trying to change him. Usually the guy wants it more and begs me to participate (mostly I love watching him beg though )



MaryElizabethAntoinette said:


> Plus, most of the male FA's I've talked to are so incredibly rude... almost to the point where I want to claw their faces off. Like on ff, and sometimes on here, I'll always get the jackass FA who tells me I'd be be better looking if I was fat.



Ugh, superficial fucktards. The story of my life is I am "beautiful, just need to lose weight" (not told here or FF), then you get on FF and are sometimes told the opposite. The circle of fat.


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## BitsySpider (Nov 4, 2011)

Absolutely not. I work and struggle very much to remain thin, it's a battle for me to be the size I prefer and it would not bode well for any FA to ask me to transform into a BBW (which, I also do not believe I would ever be as I don't feel every large woman is a BBW. That's a personal term she has to feel comfortable referring to herself as so even if I was the same size as a BBW I would not appreciate being referred to as such). While I know some people have no problem in shifting their bodies (gaining/losing weight, building muscle, tanning, dyeing hair, etc.) to please their partners, this is not something I will change about myself, nor something I am willing to compromise on.


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## biglynch (Nov 6, 2011)

The gainer thing is odd to me on so many levels, firstly why would anyone want to find someone then get them to change, and why would anyone want to be a gainer. Youre either fat or not fat. I'm a fan of bigger and smaller gals and so if I think someone is cute why change anything. Im sure many ladies think I would look better if I lost 150 lbs, and I guarantee none of them have thought I will date him and see if I can get him on a diet. so why would anyone think the reverse is a good idea. Im happy as I am and in the same way I would not lose weight for a partner Im not gonna gain either.

I could be wrong here so if anybody has a different view on this id like to hear it.


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## Deanna (Nov 6, 2011)

biglynch said:


> The gainer thing is odd to me on so many levels, firstly why would anyone want to find someone then get them to change, and why would anyone want to be a gainer. Youre either fat or not fat. I'm a fan of bigger and smaller gals and so if I think someone is cute why change anything.



For me, it's the kinkyness, forcing him to eat an entire plate of brownies while tied up and he cannot move until he finishes every crumb (and finishes me :wubu is hot for both of us. This is all at the consent and _begging_ of a partner, too, so I am not doing anything against someone's wishes. It's taking BDSM to a foodie level. 

Then there is enjoying his added poundage as it arrives, watching the clothes get tighter, his body jiggle more, listening to his breath get more labored, and again, he enjoys every moment of it. This has always been his dream, gain weight at the hands of a dominant woman and be humiliated as well. 

People can accuse, "So you're trying to change him!" 

But he _wants_ it. I would be trying to change him if he were happy as is and I set out to make him fatter whether he liked it or not. I see this as two people engaging in play that few understand, not my agenda minus his.


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## biglynch (Nov 6, 2011)

I think im missing the point due to the fact im allready quite a large guy and the process of actually being a gainer is lost on me. I do see tho that if both parties are into it then it would be fantastic. Then i guess this applies to any fetish/fantasy lifestyle.


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## JenFromOC (Nov 6, 2011)

The whole idea of making someone gain weight for their sexual gratification makes me so uncomfortable.


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## Cors (Nov 6, 2011)

Melian said:


> Hell no.
> 
> 1. I am naturally very thin, so gaining would be difficult/expensive/annoying.
> 2. Fuck having to buy a new wardrobe.
> 3. I don't change to please people.



Ditto. 



appleleafer said:


> Well at least the eating like a maniac part is fun, right?



Food is also expensive.


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## Deanna (Nov 6, 2011)

biglynch said:


> I think im missing the point due to the fact im allready quite a large guy and the process of actually being a gainer is lost on me.



Most people do not gain for fun. I enjoy my size now but for the longest time it was a source of shame, and then I put up with it, and then I came to really love it. I still don't qualify myself as a gainer, but I most definitely have feeder desires which is why I am comfortable in friendships that lean toward the fetishy side of fat acceptance.


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## appleleafer (Nov 6, 2011)

I do think the different perspectives on gaining in the fat acceptance community can be interesting, as well as reminding us all what a big umbrella it is (and isn't it great we can all fit under it!)

Fat acceptance, after all, is 2 words, not 1. It's not just about acceptance, it's about fat too. If there are boundaries between fat acceptance and fat eroticising and fat-ter eroticising then they're blurred at best.

Sure, there are people who post elsewhere on dims in a trouser tented fantasy frenzy, screaming "more, more, more!" as if they're in a race to prove how extreme they are. I've even experienced comments from ladies (elsewhere, not here on dims) how they'd love to put 200 pounds on me, 300 pounds etc. viewed externally, gaining can easily be perceived to be all about extremities and getting there as fast as possible. If gaining doesn't intrigue or interest you at all and that's how you're perceiving the eroticising of gaining weight then it's more likely you're not going to see much beyond that and that's ok, that's who you are, vive la difference.

Of course those who eroticise gaining gaining and can do so without just extreme fantasy will have a different perspective, as Deanna so eloquently illustrates. "BDSM to a foodie level" to me would mean having to ensure the safe-sane-consensual guidelines were followed, which would instantly rule out extremes on a health level. What, perhaps, those who aren't interested in gaining may not always understand is that it's not about the numbers, but about the process, just as someone into spanking, say, wouldn't quantise their enjoyment in the number of spanks they had received, or their harshness. Done right a pound of erotic weight gain can be infinitely more erotic than multiple pounds of unimaginative number counting would ever be.

Anyway, that's just my attempt to understand both perspectives and hopefully do so in as non-judgemental way as possible that enables us all to understand the others around them under the fat acceptance umbrella. It may also be conclusive proof that I shouldn't be allowed to think (and post!) on a Sunday as my little brain is clearly tuckered out!


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## Deanna (Nov 6, 2011)

appleleafer said:


> "BDSM to a foodie level" to me would mean having to ensure the safe-sane-consensual guidelines were followed, which would instantly rule out extremes on a health level. *What, perhaps, those who aren't interested in gaining may not always understand is that it's not about the numbers, but about the process,* just as someone into spanking, say, wouldn't quantise their enjoyment in the number of spanks they had received, or their harshness. Done right a pound of erotic weight gain can be infinitely more erotic than multiple pounds of unimaginative number counting would ever be.



Exactly!

It's about much more than poundage. It's about the tug and pull, the domination, and how both people are engaging in something so deliciously taboo. Gaining one pound in months of effort is fine when considering what else is earned from the experience.


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## hedonist (Nov 8, 2011)

Although I have to shamefully admit I tend to want to please my partner and do almost anything for them (possibly to the point where it might be called extreme neediness), I'm not sure about gaining on purpose. I'm not particularly big, but I'm not skinny either - I have been but can't stay that way very long, 10-15kg just come back as if by magic! So if I'm around someone with a large appetite I guess I would gain anyway, but not on purpose. And I'd probably hate the consequences... But I can definitely see the attraction of combining food & sex


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## Dromond (Nov 8, 2011)

I would never gain to please anyone, and the thought of prompting a partner to gain squicks me out. To me "feeding" is abuse. I know that's an unpopular view on this site, but it's how I feel.


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## The Orange Mage (Nov 8, 2011)

Dromond said:


> I would never gain to please anyone, and the thought of prompting a partner to gain squicks me out. To me "feeding" is abuse. I know that's an unpopular view on this site, but it's how I feel.


I can totally understand your POV, and a agree with it in most cases. I mean, the thought of a woman gaining weight is a hell of a strong fantasy for me, and likely is for a number of FAs, but I've always intended for it to be JUST fantasy. All I want is someone to share it with, not to turn it into a reality.


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## analikesyourface (Nov 8, 2011)

Dromond said:


> I would never gain to please anyone, and the thought of prompting a partner to gain squicks me out. To me "feeding" is abuse. I know that's an unpopular view on this site, but it's how I feel.



I think it depends on if it pleases you too. In some cases, there is a major addiction going on, and it shouldn't be helped. 

But what if somebody wants it, and can keep control over it, and the feeder is being slightly healthy about it?


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## Lil BigginZ (Nov 8, 2011)

analikesyourface said:


> I think it depends on if it pleases you too. In some cases, there is a major addiction going on, and it shouldn't be helped.
> 
> But what if somebody wants it, and can keep control over it, and the feeder is being slightly healthy about it?



As someone who has had experience with this first hand. Nothing good can come out of it for the feedee. Only person who gains anything out of it is the feeder. Sure, you guys can be married and the happiest loveliest couple out there but relationships goes sour all the time. What happens to the feedee when they split and the feedee is stranded immobile not being able to do anything like work or go to the grocery store or any other store for that matter? Or what happens when the feeder get's their partner to immobile and then not get that fix anymore of feeding and then moves on to the next person? In fantasy it could be a good thing but in reality it's really a horrible fetish. This is the same exact reason of where i'm at today in my life trying to dig myself out of this hole I put myself in by doing this.


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## Dromond (Nov 9, 2011)

analikesyourface said:


> I think it depends on if it pleases you too. In some cases, there is a major addiction going on, and it shouldn't be helped.
> 
> But what if somebody wants it, and can keep control over it, and the feeder is being slightly healthy about it?



A slightly healthy feeder? What?

It's not a subject that gets discussed much on a site that celebrates fat people, but fat isn't healthy. Fat people can be healthy, for sure. But gaining weight is never a healthy act, even if your body can handle it to a certain degree.


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## Deanna (Nov 9, 2011)

Lil BigginZ said:


> As someone who has had experience with this first hand. Nothing good can come out of it for the feedee. Only person who gains anything out of it is the feeder. Sure, you guys can be married and the happiest loveliest couple out there but relationships goes sour all the time. What happens to the feedee when they split and the feedee is stranded immobile not being able to do anything like work or go to the grocery store or any other store for that matter? Or what happens when the feeder get's their partner to immobile and then not get that fix anymore of feeding and then moves on to the next person? In fantasy it could be a good thing but in reality it's really a horrible fetish. This is the same exact reason of where i'm at today in my life trying to dig myself out of this hole I put myself in by doing this.



I understand this, believe me.


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## analikesyourface (Nov 9, 2011)

Lil BigginZ said:


> As someone who has had experience with this first hand. Nothing good can come out of it for the feedee. Only person who gains anything out of it is the feeder. Sure, you guys can be married and the happiest loveliest couple out there but relationships goes sour all the time. What happens to the feedee when they split and the feedee is stranded immobile not being able to do anything like work or go to the grocery store or any other store for that matter? Or what happens when the feeder get's their partner to immobile and then not get that fix anymore of feeding and then moves on to the next person? In fantasy it could be a good thing but in reality it's really a horrible fetish. This is the same exact reason of where i'm at today in my life trying to dig myself out of this hole I put myself in by doing this.



Yes, but like I said, a small amount of weight won't put you in that "hole" you speak of. 

I think that's what I meant by "healthy." 

And it's still the persons decision. When you think about it, you could almost put yourself to the state of immobility without having a feeder. If somebody is getting a "fix" from another person gaining, then that's almost like an addiction. I still think it depends on the relationship.

I am *technically* a feeder to my boyfriend. Who is 120 pounds, and wishes to gain (his doctor wants him to, also.) And just because I'm feeding him to get to a specific weight, doesn't mean I'd make him immobile, no matter how much that is a fantasy to me, I couldn't stand that.


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## Deanna (Nov 9, 2011)

analikesyourface said:


> And just because I'm feeding him to get to a specific weight, doesn't mean I'd make him immobile, no matter how much that is a fantasy to me, I couldn't stand that.



Most people cannot become immobile anyway. That is VERY hard to reach.


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## JenFromOC (Nov 9, 2011)

Deanna said:


> Most people cannot become immobile anyway. That is VERY hard to reach.



I don't think it's necessarily hard to reach...it's different for everyone. If you started off really thin, you might be almost immobile at even say, 300lbs because you're not used to carrying that much weight. I think feeders are sick. I don't think it's even healthy to say you're helping someone gain because their doctor told them to....uh, gross.


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## analikesyourface (Nov 9, 2011)

JenFromOC said:


> I don't think it's necessarily hard to reach...it's different for everyone. If you started off really thin, you might be almost immobile at even say, 300lbs because you're not used to carrying that much weight. I think feeders are sick. I don't think it's even healthy to say you're helping someone gain because their doctor told them to....uh, gross.



His ex made him starve himself because she thought 140 was "unhealthy" for an 18 year old dude. He was already 10 pounds underweight when he started. This is just eating a slightly bulked up diet due to the amount he works, and the amount he gains, while feeding him to match my stupid fetish-y ways. Sorry. I didn't realize that being 30 pounds underweight, and then gaining a bit, was gross.


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## analikesyourface (Nov 9, 2011)

Deanna said:


> Most people cannot become immobile anyway. That is VERY hard to reach.



Yes, especially if you work in a physical job and have a high muscle to fat ratio no matter what.


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## JenFromOC (Nov 9, 2011)

analikesyourface said:


> His ex made him starve himself because she thought 140 was "unhealthy" for an 18 year old dude. He was already 10 pounds underweight when he started. This is just eating a slightly bulked up diet due to the amount he works, and the amount he gains, while feeding him to match my stupid fetish-y ways. Sorry. I didn't realize that being 30 pounds underweight, and then gaining a bit, was gross.



I didn't say that gaining weight is gross....I said that helping someone gain weight is gross. No matter what you say, you secretly enjoy it because you get to "feed" him. Deny it.

Oh, and to add....he needs some psychological help if he #1 Allowed someone to make him starve himself and #2 Now will allow someone to encourage him to gain weight.

EW. I don't care who gets pissed about this. EW.


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## analikesyourface (Nov 9, 2011)

JenFromOC said:


> I didn't say that gaining weight is gross....I said that helping someone gain weight is gross. No matter what you say, you secretly enjoy it because you get to "feed" him. Deny it.



I said that pretty openly, actually. And just because you don't like it, it's gross to you. Which I understand. I honestly can't say I like many other fetishes, really. They all sort of gross me out, but I can at least say that as long as they don't hurt anybody, OR they remain in a fantasy, why does it matter?


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## analikesyourface (Nov 9, 2011)

JenFromOC said:


> I didn't say that gaining weight is gross....I said that helping someone gain weight is gross. No matter what you say, you secretly enjoy it because you get to "feed" him. Deny it.
> 
> Oh, and to add....he needs some psychological help if he #1 Allowed someone to make him starve himself and #2 Now will allow someone to encourage him to gain weight.
> 
> EW. I don't care who gets pissed about this. EW.



No, he was just 18 and insecure about his body to begin with. She was his first, incredibly manipulative, and an anorexic herself.

He doesn't need help, he just needed out.

And I'm not pissed, I just don't think you should immediately be like "Oh, you're a sick person for liking to see something happen"

Let's say you like men. Don't you think that some straight men would be like EWWW PENISES ARE NASTY! GOD! and wouldn't that be just a little bit over the top?


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## JenFromOC (Nov 9, 2011)

analikesyourface said:


> I said that pretty openly, actually. And just because you don't like it, it's gross to you. Which I understand. I honestly can't say I like many other fetishes, really. They all sort of gross me out, but I can at least say that as long as they don't hurt anybody, OR they remain in a fantasy, why does it matter?



Because it's not a fantasy? Whatever....I question a lot of comments made on this board. I even wonder what I'm doing here to begin with. I'm just gonna try to be nice for the rest of the night. Probably should call it a night LOL


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## Deanna (Nov 9, 2011)

JenFromOC said:


> No matter what you say, you secretly enjoy it because you get to "feed" him. Deny it.



I'll openly say it too.  Also, if my partner grew tired of it and wanted to lose I'd support him without hesitation.


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## analikesyourface (Nov 9, 2011)

Deanna said:


> I'll openly say it too.  Also, if my partner grew tired of it and wanted to lose I'd support him without hesitation.



Same here. And I wouldn't force them to do anything they didn't want.


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## JenFromOC (Nov 9, 2011)

Yuck. Oh well, I've started a new fire in The Lounge....


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## Deanna (Nov 9, 2011)

JenFromOC said:


> Because it's not a fantasy? Whatever....I question a lot of comments made on this board. I even wonder what I'm doing here to begin with. I'm just gonna try to be nice for the rest of the night. Probably should call it a night LOL



You don't have to be nice - us feeders are tough chicks  In my experience feedees are the domineering ones, constantly demanding food and sex until you want to strangle them


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## Lil BigginZ (Nov 9, 2011)

I just want to say I don't judge feeders for their fetish, everybody has their kinks. I just don't agree with the whole fetish anymore after feeling the effects from it. Maybe immobile was a little too high but other stuff like age, previous weight etc etc all play roles as well. 

I'm not hating on it but I just see a different side of it then most.


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