# Interracial Dating



## calauria (Jan 26, 2007)

How many of you do? Thoughts about it?

I've dated interracially most of my dating life. My two children are bi-racial. I haven't had any problems.

Share your thoughts and experiences. 

It can be bad or good. I don't mind. I won't label anyone a racist. Everyone has their own preferences.


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## moonvine (Jan 26, 2007)

I hope it isn't a big deal anymore. I know that when I was in college in Alabama in the mid 80's - early 90's it was a very big deal.

I have been attracted to men of every different race. I do tend to be most attracted to Hispanic guys and Caucasian guys, but certainly have been attracted to African American guys and Asian guys. I'm Caucasian FWIW. My last boyfriend was Hispanic.


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## cuddlybbbw (Jan 26, 2007)

I have also dated out of my race for most of my dating life although I've been attracted to men of the same race as me. I do have my preferences but I like to keep myself open as well.


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## AnnMarie (Jan 26, 2007)

I think I'm open to it, but it's just never happened for anything other than a "hook up" type situation. 

It's always going to be much more about the person, looks, style that I dig than their skin color.


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## Jay West Coast (Jan 26, 2007)

I've dated white and Hispanic women, but I've also dated Black and Islander women. I just have a thing for _morenas_, I guess. 

And interracial dating is normally not a big deal, but I've run into issues before. Years ago, I remember travelling with my Islander girlfriend through a particularly conservative area of Oregon (sounds oxymoronic, I know!), and stopped to eat at a pizza joint. When we walked in, it was as if we could feel the tone of the restaurant change before our eyes. The air thickened, and cold looks shot across the room. The smile dropped from our server's face, our pizza arrived late, cold, and with 4 pepperonis. I just got this overwhelming feeling that everyone just wanted us to leave as soon as possible, as if we were ruining everyone else's dinner. It sucked. 

I suppose that since I look so white, it surprised me, since I'm not used to that sort of thing. But once it happened to me, I finally understood the "unspoken" racism that minorities talk about all the time. Sometimes its not what's said, it's what's left unsaid.


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## bigsexy920 (Jan 26, 2007)

I have dated out of my race if you would call it that . I never seek out a person based on race. Lets face it ... we are all the human race so date whom ever you wish.


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## Jon Blaze (Jan 26, 2007)

I definitely date out of my race. My first two girlfriends were white, and my last one was Puerto Rican.
MTV's True Life: I'm in an interracial relationship is on right now. The stars aligned to this topic!!  
I think it is a wonderful thing.

Besides... I'm Puerto Rican, Black, and Native American. If I wanted to solely date within my race, I'd probably be single for the rest of my life. It's not racism in this case folks.. It is a statistical disadvantage.


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## Jes (Jan 26, 2007)

Jay West Coast said:


> Years ago, I remember travelling with my Islander girlfriend through a particularly conservative area of Oregon (sounds oxymoronic, I know!), and stopped to eat at a pizza joint. When we walked in, it was as if we could feel the tone of the restaurant change before our eyes. The air thickened, and cold looks shot across the room. The smile dropped from our server's face, our pizza arrived late, cold, and with 4 pepperonis. I just got this overwhelming feeling that everyone just wanted us to leave as soon as possible, as if we were ruining everyone else's dinner. It sucked. .



That's what I call: "findin' Headquarters." PM me if you wanna know more.


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## Jack Skellington (Jan 26, 2007)

I actually come from a mixed ancestry. So race means nothing to me. All that matters is if I am compatible with the person.


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## LJ Rock (Jan 26, 2007)

Jon Blaze said:


> I definitely date out of my race. My first two girlfriends were white, and my last one was Puerto Rican.
> MTV's True Life: I'm in an interracial relationship is on right now. The stars aligned to this topic!!
> I think it is a wonderful thing.
> 
> Besides... I'm Puerto Rican, Black, and Native American. If I wanted to solely date within my race, I'd probably be single for the rest of my life. It's not racism in this case folks.. It is a statistical disadvantage.



Kind of in the same boat here: I am bi-racial. My father African American and my mother Caucasian. So really if you think about it, any relationship I am in is "interacial." 

It does surprise me sometimes when people trip about mixed-race coupling. One would think that we would be beyond that as a society now. I think that for the most part we have, but there are always going to be those few I suppose who just can't let go of their prejudices.


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## DeniseW (Jan 26, 2007)

I do, I do, I even married outside my race...lol. I admit I started dating outside of my race out of necessity, when I would go to bbw parties, it seemed like the black men were interested in me and white men never really looked at me much. Then I just realized how much fun I was having and never looked back.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 26, 2007)

I live in the southeastern USA and know a lot of people here make a big deal out of it. Personally, I never gave a shit either way. If people like each other and want to be together, why is it my business to tell them otherwise? 

Jay's story about the "feeling the change" of the restaurant he went into reminded me of times past when I had two close black friends- male and female. The lady was my best friend, the male was her gay cousin Patrick. Definitely no romance there.  
I noticed on several occasions when we went places together people would look at Patrick and I if we walked in together and I could "feel that change". Needless to say, it pissed me off. My solution? On those occasions, I would grab the lady's hand and hold it.


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## Melian (Jan 26, 2007)

Wow, I didn't expect to see so many mixed race individuals on here! But that's my deal too; I'm Asian-Caucasian.

In response to Moonvine's "I hope it isn't a big deal anymore," I must say that I've never even had a negative comment about it (that I know of). Sadly, there has been more controversy when I dated fat guys versus guys who are simply of another race


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## idun (Jan 26, 2007)

Okay here it goes..
I do have a problem with it, and i will only date a white guy.
I live my life in a traditionel way, and i believe that it is wrong to marrie and have children with some one who has an diffrent race.
BUT that doesn't mean that i dont want anything to do with people from an other race.
I'm just a proud person, and like to see others proud as well, that goes for african americans, natives, chinees , or whatever.


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## NYEmtEsq (Jan 26, 2007)

idun said:


> Okay here it goes..
> I do have a problem with it, and i will only date a white guy.
> I live my life in a traditionel way, and i believe that it is wrong to marrie and have children with some one who has an diffrent race.
> BUT that doesn't mean that i dont want anything to do with people from an other race.
> I'm just a proud person, and like to see others proud as well, that goes for african americans, natives, chinees , or whatever.



Ok.....here's a nitpicky observation of uber-PC. The above poster is in Holland, yet she refers to black people as "African Americans." Wouldn't they be African-Dutch? Or African-German? African-French? African-Etc.? Has "black" become so offensive that it's use is to be avoided at all costs. Can those who used to be known as black please provide a non-offensive, universal term that would be a suitable counterpart to "Caucasian" or "Hispanic"?


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## cuddlybbbw (Jan 26, 2007)

idun said:


> Okay here it goes..
> I do have a problem with it, and i will only date a white guy.
> I live my life in a traditionel way, and i believe that it is wrong to marrie and have children with some one who has an diffrent race.
> BUT that doesn't mean that i dont want anything to do with people from an other race.
> I'm just a proud person, and like to see others proud as well, that goes for african americans, natives, chinees , or whatever.




Wow....just...WOW.

I'm not going to jump all over you for your feelings. I'm just shocked to see people who feel this way. I'm curious as to see why you think it's wrong to be in an interracial relationship. I think you can be proud of your heritage while dating someone of a different race. It makes life more interesting IMHO.


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## Emma (Jan 26, 2007)

I've been banned from dating outside my race. My mum said she would disown me if I ever brought someone that wasn't white home. Not that I really get chance to meet any anyway as it's 97% white where I live.


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## cuddlybbbw (Jan 26, 2007)

NYEmtEsq said:


> Ok.....here's a nitpicky observation of uber-PC. The above poster is in Holland, yet she refers to black people as "African Americans." Wouldn't they be African-Dutch? Or African-German? African-French? African-Etc.? Has "black" become so offensive that it's use is to be avoided at all costs. Can those who used to be known as black please provide a non-offensive, universal term that would be a suitable counterpart to "Caucasian" or "Hispanic"?



I have no problem with the term "Black" or "African-American"...


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## cuddlybbbw (Jan 26, 2007)

CurvyEm said:


> I've been banned from dating outside my race. My mum said she would disown me if I ever brought someone that wasn't white home. Not that I really get chance to meet any anyway as it's 97% white where I live.



That's too bad....


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## eightyseven (Jan 26, 2007)

Race is a four letter word. It doesn't really exist. I'm studying this right now. It's simply about the cultures that society associates and identifies with people who happen to have similar external features. Dating "interracially" is not really about how comfortable you are with someone who looks different... it's about the ability to address and handle one's own myths and fears about what another person enjoys or stands for.

I respect people who choose to date "interracially" and those who don't, so long as they are not doing so out of ignorance and respects their partner no matter what they look like.

As far as my own personal life is concerned, I have dated outside my own "race." It's a rush since you have to suspend your own beliefs so much more than you would when dating someone with a similar background to yourself. This has happened with me and dating outside of my religion (which is a bigger deal in my family, really). I hope to have many more opportunities to meet as many people of different backgrounds and cultures as I can... and if I we end up dating, that's more than fine by me.


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## NYEmtEsq (Jan 26, 2007)

cuddlybbbw said:


> I have no problem with the term "Black" or "African-American"...



What about non-American African "Americans"? Are those people just "African"?


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## cuddlybbbw (Jan 26, 2007)

NYEmtEsq said:


> What about non-American African "Americans"? Are those people just "African"?



They are whatever it is they choose to call themselves. *lol*


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## supersoup (Jan 26, 2007)

i have dated outside my race a couple times, i would again if i clicked with someone, and i have no problem with people that do it as well. i don't care what color, religion, height, weight, etc etc you are...if we click, we click. i was raised around so many different types of people, i adore a person because of who they are, not what categories they fit in.


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## clynn (Jan 26, 2007)

I have only dated one white man, and that was when I was 18. It's rare that I find a white man attractive, because I love dark eyes, hair, and skin (not too many white guys have that combo!). The guys I tend to be with are really dark. 

I have had no issues being with someone in a different race, whether they were Black, Hatian, or Hispanic. If anyone else had an issue, I'm not aware of it because my friends and family know I'm not trying to hear all that.


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## marlowegarp (Jan 26, 2007)

Just wanted to remark, I think it's great that this thread has gone on as long as it has without any histrionics or e-screaming. Dimensions continues to impress me with the maturity level. Yay, Dimensions. Oh, for the record, I am all for interracial dating. My last girlfriend was Hispanic and I am whitey-white white-white. Peace.


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## Paw Paw (Jan 26, 2007)

I am a Heinz 57. According to the American governments "one drop law", I am black. Most of my family can "pass" for white.

I like women! Tall, short, any color. Must be bigger than me though. My youngest son (serving in Iraq) is of mixed race. 

Just like everything else, if you limit your choices, you limit your life.

Peace,
2P.


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## XGuy (Jan 26, 2007)

On the note that was brought up according to my english book a few years ago the terms "african ...." was going out of style and most preferred just "black" now adays, though I think that was referring to specifically the literature community =P And that doesn't mean it has an accurate view necessarily either.

Here I go. I would have a hard time dating people that are easily offended, of any race, creed, religion, sexual orientation, political, etc. etc. etc. That could rule out a lot of different groups. It's not that I am insensitive (I come from a mixed family including black and hispanic [though not by blood]) and it's not like I have problems with it. I just would never want to feel like I have to be careful around the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

I think generally I am good at not applying any sort of litmus test of love- after all as far as I am concerned if there is a connection there is a connection, regardless of physical attributes. But on the other hand I wouldn't mind "restoring" my heritage, simply because I think it is great to explore and celebrate your heritage/culture. Unfortunately it is very difficult to do so when you are, simply put, a mutt. Of course it all depends heavily on your definition of race, is one to follow a more cultural focal point (as I am pointing to), skin tones, traceable blood lines, etc. etc.


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## dragorat (Jan 26, 2007)

*I was engaged to a lady of a different race than I.Only reason we didn't marry is that her mother wanted somethings worked out a little differently as far as my moving to be with her than was possible.But I will say the time we did spend together was wonderful & something I don't think either of us will forget.Some members of my family don't believe in interacial couples but they also know if that's what I want they won't stop me.So yes if the situation should arise I'd gladly be in another relationship.*


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## GoddessNoir (Jan 26, 2007)

I have dated outside of my race but it isn't something that I think I will do again. I don't have a porblem with people who choose to date outside of their race, I have two white brothers in law. However, my personal choice is to hopefully marry a black man, I want big beautiful black babies.


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## Mini (Jan 26, 2007)

I haven't, but I would if we clicked. Simple as that.


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## tonynyc (Jan 26, 2007)

I have dated BBWs of all races- so I don't have any problems regarding
'inter-racial dating'. I like 'Pears' in all flavors. :wubu: 

I come from mixed heritage myself (Black-Cuban-American Indian) and my kids are bi-racial. I am currently dating a wonderful African American SSBBW.

Variety is the spice of life - so enjoy


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## activistfatgirl (Jan 26, 2007)

bring 'em on!

ETA: I've gotten the disowning threat from my mother before, but it wouldn't stop me for a second. Like anything else in the world, if you know its right you have to do it, and the consequences can be dealt with. Same with being gay. I wouldn't change my heart because one or many said it was wrong.


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## CleverBomb (Jan 26, 2007)

bigsexy920 said:


> I have dated out of my race if you would call it that . I never seek out a person based on race. Lets face it ... we are all the human race so date whom ever you wish.



I only date _Homo Sapiens_ women. They're the best!

-Rusty


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## Renaissance Woman (Jan 26, 2007)

CurvyEm said:


> I've been banned from dating outside my race. My mum said she would disown me if I ever brought someone that wasn't white home. Not that I really get chance to meet any anyway as it's 97% white where I live.


This post has struck me more than others in this thread. Em, it's YOUR decision who you date, not your mother's. If she doesn't approve, it's unfortunate, but it's her problem, not yours. You're an adult--do what you want!

And to answer the question, I tend to be more attracted to "whitey-white white-white" boys, but have been attracted to and gone out with guys with a variety of racial backgrounds. As others have said, it's more about the particular combination of attributes someone brings to the table than a specific skin tone.


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## Jack Skellington (Jan 26, 2007)

idun said:


> I live my life in a traditionel way, and i believe that it is wrong to marrie and have children with some one who has an diffrent race.



There are only two things I can't stand in this world, people who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch.

I'm kidding! I'm kidding!

I just couldn't resist. I so rarely get an opportunity to use that line. 

BTW:Michael Caine rules!


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## Oona (Jan 26, 2007)

marlowegarp said:


> ....I am whitey-white white-white.



So.. you're white? 

And for the record, before I was married, I dated outside my race. I have NO problem with it what so ever. If you find someone that makes you truly happy, go for it. Who cares what someone else thinks? Its YOUR decision and happiness. Not theirs.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 26, 2007)

calauria said:


> How many of you do? Thoughts about it?
> 
> I've dated interracially most of my dating life. My two children are bi-racial. I haven't had any problems.
> 
> ...



I've dated black men, Asian women, whites, all sorts. Now dating a white guy. As long as the person's smart and nice-looking and nice, I don't care.


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## toni (Jan 26, 2007)

This is a great topic. I usually only date outside my race. For some reason I do not get along well with most white people (not all but a huge amount). I have dated 2 or 3. When I am around "whitey white people" I am uncomfortable and usually have the urge to roll my eyes often. I probably should not feel this way, I try to change it but I do not see that happening. If a white man were to come along and fulfill my dreams I wouldn't turn him away because of his color. I just highly doubt it is likely. :batting: 

Oh and btw my daughter is mixed with Cuban, when I have more babies I want them all to match. lol


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## AnnMarie (Jan 26, 2007)

toni said:


> Oh and btw my daughter is mixed with Cuban, when I have more babies I want them all to match. lol



hahahahahah


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## Fuzzy (Jan 26, 2007)

In mid 80s Texas, when I was in high school, I was friends with a BBT; Dianne, who was black. We'd chat, help each other with homework, etc. but we didn't date. At dances, I would dance with other girls, but not her.

Hindsight, I was racist. Nothing personal, but I didn't cross the race line. Which is really sad, because I later found out that she had a major crush on me until I offended her at some point. I was clueless.


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## Les Toil (Jan 26, 2007)

Here's my answer.







Keep in mind I live in the Bay Area California where culture and an open-minded attitude run as rampant as intelligence. People accept and reject people based upon their inner fiber, not their color.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 26, 2007)

Les Toil said:


> Here's my answer.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



You date train collectors? You're sick, Les. Just sick.


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## Les Toil (Jan 26, 2007)

idun said:


> Okay here it goes..
> I do have a problem with it, and i will only date a white guy.
> I live my life in a traditionel way, and i believe that it is wrong to marrie and have children with some one who has an diffrent race.
> BUT that doesn't mean that i dont want anything to do with people from an other race.
> I'm just a proud person, and like to see others proud as well, that goes for african americans, natives, chinees , or whatever.



Hi! Sounds like you're confusing pride with preference. If I get to know an Asian girl and find myself falling deeply for her, would I be lacking pride for doing so? I mean, what does pride have to do with it? Hopefully, we'd both be proud as peacocks (and happy as hyenas) to be with each other. 

Idun, please don't let anything but your heart dictate where it belongs.

:wubu:


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## Les Toil (Jan 26, 2007)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> You date train collectors? You're sick, Les. Just sick.



OK, that slayed both Ava and I. Funnnny.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 27, 2007)

Les Toil said:


> OK, that slayed both Ava and I. Funnnny.



Les, one of these days, Ryan and I very much need to meet you and Ava. I adore your work, and I know to have someone like you, Ava has to be extremely wonderful. Now back to our regular topic...


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## Spanky (Jan 27, 2007)

In the year 2525 (a little re-write, just a joke..):

"Okay here it goes..
I do have a problem with it, and i will only date AN EARTHLING.
I live my life in a traditionel way, and i believe that it is wrong to marrie and have children with some one who has IS FROM A DIFFERENT PLANET.
BUT that doesn't mean that i dont want anything to do with people from ANOTHER PLANET.
I'm just a proud person, and like to see others proud as well, that goes for MARTIANS, JUPITARIANS (EVEN THE ONES FROM EUROPA), KLINGONS, ROMULANS , or whatever."


What is white anyway? What is black? I don't think a single one of us is a pure any frickin' thing. The Moors overran Spain and southern France, the Turks controlled parts of Eastern Europe. The Mongol hoards stormed the gates of Europe to Hungary. The Vikings took Spanish and Italian women back north. English have been everywhere in the world. I would bet the majority of Americans of African descent have white, hispanic or some other mix of blood in them........

But with all of that said, I wish I had had the priviledge of dating (hell, knowing) more women of other cultures or nationalities before having been married. 

And the same goes with dating a person of a "different size" as a person from a different culture. Who gives a flying fuck what people think if they don't like it?


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## QuasimodoQT (Jan 27, 2007)

I *thought* I had a strong physical "type," since I tended to be extremely attracted to men who looked Italian, Greek or "Black Irish"- the whole pale skin dark wavy hair thing. However, almost nobody I actually dated fit that profile.

Hubby is Danish, Japanese, Caribe Indian, Italian and black, in that order, but is most often visually identified as black. He doesn't fit my type at all, and has very unusual looks, but I find him completely adorable.

I admit a part of me always wanted a child with my own coloring, and that is rather unlikely. Probably it will be like my idea of my mate- it will change to align with my actual love.

We get lots of double takes in public. At least part seems to be the interracial thing, since that is what most of the negative comments center around. Part of the stares could be the other disparities, though. I'm like a fat little Heidi, all grown up, and hubby is the long lean guy with the wild hairstyle and the martial arts carriage. I can be standing right next to him, and there is still a lot of surprise when people find out we're together in public, much less married. When he kisses me in public, forget about it. A whole slew of eyes follow it all.

And I have definitely felt some of the prejudice he has had to deal with. Generally someone will be giving him a really hard time, talking to him with comtempt, and when I get there, they snap, "Stay out of this, ma'am!" When I identify myself as his wife, the wheels turn visibly, and the treatment does an about face. He has also noticed the fat prejudice I put up with, so we have a lot of empathy for each other.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 27, 2007)

idun said:


> Okay here it goes..
> I do have a problem with it, and i will only date a white guy.
> I live my life in a traditionel way, and i believe that it is wrong to marrie and have children with some one who has an diffrent race.
> BUT that doesn't mean that i dont want anything to do with people from an other race.
> I'm just a proud person, and like to see others proud as well, that goes for african americans, natives, chinees , or whatever.



I just have one question: 

Why?


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## XGuy (Jan 27, 2007)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> I just have one question:
> 
> Why?



It sounds like it could be a similar idea to mine (don't really know since I am not him  but I'll take a shot). Since he mentions the pride thing, it's hard to be proud of "nothing." For a lot of people anyway. If you are 5% of everything who cares, I mean sure theres still stuff to be proud about but yeah... For anyone who is really into heritage it can be hard. I get questions and weird looks because I am really into heritage and the culture/heritage I take particular pride in... I'm really like 8% in or something (though depends on where you cut off generations ;D).

Most people aren't really into heritage, most my friends don't even know what they are.

There's also a psycological aspect. I'd say it's enough to consider, but shouldn't force anything. Coming from a mixed family (and like almost all the mixed couples have mentioned) there are weird moments. Some people just don't like wierd moments. I don't want to have to deal with that stuff- I won't turn down true love over that but...

Just some ideas =P Could be entirely off.\


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## idun (Jan 27, 2007)

NYEmtEsq said:


> Ok.....here's a nitpicky observation of uber-PC. The above poster is in Holland, yet she refers to black people as "African Americans." Wouldn't they be African-Dutch? Or African-German? African-French? African-Etc.? Has "black" become so offensive that it's use is to be avoided at all costs. Can those who used to be known as black please provide a non-offensive, universal term that would be a suitable counterpart to "Caucasian" or "Hispanic"?



I used african-american because you obviously you know what i mean without fear of saying something wrong.. 
Because yes i had discusions about this with people and when i use 'black' people start to freak.
If i use 'black' i dont mean it offensive, but people have been pissed at me for saying it.
I'm not here to insult anybody , just to say what i think.


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## idun (Jan 27, 2007)

cuddlybbbw said:


> Wow....just...WOW.
> 
> I'm not going to jump all over you for your feelings. I'm just shocked to see people who feel this way. I'm curious as to see why you think it's wrong to be in an interracial relationship. I think you can be proud of your heritage while dating someone of a different race. It makes life more interesting IMHO.



In my opion to date is to ( if things are good between you and your partner) get married and to get married is to have children.
If you are proud of your heritage and proud to be white then why get children of a diffrent race?
I can only tell my children about my heritage, i cant tell them anything about there heritage if they are from mixed.


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## Emma (Jan 27, 2007)

Renaissance Woman said:


> This post has struck me more than others in this thread. Em, it's YOUR decision who you date, not your mother's. If she doesn't approve, it's unfortunate, but it's her problem, not yours. You're an adult--do what you want!



I live at home and I respect my mum. It's really not worth the problems it would bring. Plus I've never really met someone of another race that I've wanted to date yet. But I know I'd probably respect what my mother wants.


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## idun (Jan 27, 2007)

Jack Skellington said:


> There are only two things I can't stand in this world, people who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch.
> 
> I'm kidding! I'm kidding!
> 
> ...



WHAHAHAHA that's a good one


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## idun (Jan 27, 2007)

Les Toil said:


> Hi! Sounds like you're confusing pride with preference. If I get to know an Asian girl and find myself falling deeply for her, would I be lacking pride for doing so? I mean, what does pride have to do with it? Hopefully, we'd both be proud as peacocks (and happy as hyenas) to be with each other.
> 
> Idun, please don't let anything but your heart dictate where it belongs.
> 
> :wubu:



It is my preference to date a white guy and i'm proud of my heritage.
If you are proud of you heritage then why do you want to change it with mixed children?
I can see guys with a diffrant race and say that that person looks good, but that's the same with other women.
I cant see myself in an relationship other then friendship with someone of a diffrent race.


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## LillyBBBW (Jan 27, 2007)

NYEmtEsq said:


> What about non-American African "Americans"? Are those people just "African"?



Yes, they're Africans who became American citizens. When someone says they're Irish there isn't nearly the hoopla. You're making yourself crazy.


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## Friday (Jan 27, 2007)

Yeah a couple of times, once for 3 years. Things may be different now, but Idaho in the late 70's was a scary place to be. Thank heavens it was just a weekend visit because my bf and the other friends we were with wouldn't let me tell anyone off.


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## Michelle (Jan 27, 2007)

Idun, you have every right to feel as you do without being called racist, as attraction is mostly something we can't control; however, the arguments you are using against dating someone from another race are weak.



idun said:


> I can only tell my children about my heritage, i cant tell them anything about there heritage if they are from mixed.


You can tell your children about their heritage on your side and your partner can tell your children about their heritage on his side. They would not be lacking in knowledge.



idun said:


> If you are proud of you heritage then why do you want to change it with mixed children?


You're not changing your heritage by having bi-racial children. You're adding TO your children's heritage - now they have two to be proud of.

As an aside, nothing to do with your thoughts, I think bi-racial children are some of the most physically beautiful people on the planet.


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## idun (Jan 27, 2007)

XGuy said:


> It sounds like it could be a similar idea to mine (don't really know since I am not him  but I'll take a shot). Since he mentions the pride thing, it's hard to be proud of "nothing." For a lot of people anyway. If you are 5% of everything who cares, I mean sure theres still stuff to be proud about but yeah... For anyone who is really into heritage it can be hard. I get questions and weird looks because I am really into heritage and the culture/heritage I take particular pride in... I'm really like 8% in or something (though depends on where you cut off generations ;D).
> 
> Most people aren't really into heritage, most my friends don't even know what they are.
> 
> ...




He is a she 
And it's the same with african americans who will only want to date with black women.
They are also proud of there heritage and i dont see anybody saying something about that...
With anybody else it is seen as a good thing and something to be proud of, if a white person dares to say something in the same lines they are shallowminded and dare i say it a rassist...
I see pride as a very good thing and it's something i'll also will teach my children, and i'm going to be honest if they come home with a non white guy/girl i will not be jumping of joy.
But it's there own dission.
Again this all does not mean i have a dislike of people who are not white, it's just about spending your live together with somebody.


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## idun (Jan 27, 2007)

Michelle said:


> Idun, you have every right to feel as you do without being called racist, as attraction is mostly something we can't control; however, the arguments you are using against dating someone from another race are weak.
> 
> 
> You can tell your children about their heritage on your side and your partner can tell your children about their heritage on his side. They would not be lacking in knowledge.
> ...



I know i'm not changing my heritage but i will be changing my blood line.
I will be changing something that my fore fathers build.
And i dont see it as adding something , i see it as breaking down something.
You cant be proud of being white but at the same time be black?!
But i know what you will say best of both worlds right..
I know that the father can tell them about his background but the fact still is i dont want a child of mixed race i dont want to change my bloodline.
And as stated before for me is to date is to get (if all goes wel) married and to get married is to have children.
So no i will not date outside my race.


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## Krissy12 (Jan 27, 2007)

I agree with Idun about the fact that it's her right to date who she would like and that there are people who will think she is racist. I don't think she is, really. If she were another race, no one would think she was being racist.
Just as only dating BBW and SSBBW doesn't mean you're against other people of different weights on a personal level.

That being said, I've dated all kinds of men from different racial backgrounds, and married a Hispanic man. (Now divorced)

Variety is the spice of life for me!


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## LillyBBBW (Jan 27, 2007)

activistfatgirl said:


> bring 'em on!
> 
> ETA: I've gotten the disowning threat from my mother before, but it wouldn't stop me for a second. Like anything else in the world, if you know its right you have to do it, and the consequences can be dealt with. Same with being gay. I wouldn't change my heart because one or many said it was wrong.



Amen! My mom tried that too when I was in my teens. I asked her, "You mean to tell me that if I had a choice between a nice guy of a different race who treats me well and a black man who kicks my head in you want me to pick the black man so you can _finally_ be pleased with me?" In the end of the argument my answer was just simply, "No." But so many people have married outside of our race in our family now. A good percentage of her grandchildren and great grandchildren are interracial so I'm sure if I brought up our past conversation she'd be shocked and deny it ever took place.  

I say the same, bring 'em on. I'm not gay but if I were, everyone would have to move over and get used to that too.


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## Aliena (Jan 27, 2007)

I think that a person should date/marry someone they are compatible with and not base it on looks, period!


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## TrentQ3 (Jan 27, 2007)

To me it doesn't really matter what race, ethnicity, religion, etc, the person has. I think it helps to have similar values and beliefs, but the color of your skin is not one of them. I've dated women from difference races and cultures, and it only opens your mind up to so much more. At this point I've come to prefer African-American women though, and I've absolutely never had a problem with that (I'm white).


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## Isa (Jan 27, 2007)

I have no problem with interracial dating/marrying. My bloodline has been diluted from day one so why stop now. Pride wise, life is too short and love too difficult to find for exclusions based on ethnicity. As long as the man in question is Earth bound and we have something in common, I'll at least date him.


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## sweetnnekked (Jan 27, 2007)

LillyBBBW said:


> Amen! My mom tried that too when I was in my teens. I asked her, "You mean to tell me that if I had a choice between a nice guy of a different race who treats me well and a black man who kicks my head in you want me to pick the black man so you can _finally_ be pleased with me?" In the end of the argument my answer was just simply, "No." But so many people have married outside of our race in our family now. A good percentage of her grandchildren and great grandchildren are interracial so I'm sure if I brought up our past conversation she'd be shocked and deny it ever took place.
> 
> I say the same, bring 'em on. I'm not gay but if I were, everyone would have to move over and get used to that too.



My Mom never said that she's disown me but said that she'd hope it didn't happen and would pray for me if it did. Her concern was more the bigotry and hatred of others'. How people may treat me due to my relations with someone of another race.
I actually dated a black woman recently but it didn't work out only because she never shut up!! But that can happen no matter what your race may be.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 27, 2007)

Isa said:


> I have no problem with interracial dating/marrying. My bloodline has been diluted from day one so why stop now. Pride wise, life is too short and love too difficult to find for exclusions based on ethnicity. As long as the man in question is Earth bound and we have something in common, I'll at least date him.



Same here. We haven't the faintest clue what the hell Dad is... Something dark with a big, wideset nose and straight black hair... His parents (white) told him everything from partially black, to partially white, to Mexican, to Native American. He claims white even though the last time he flew he got questioned on being Middle Eastern.  Oddly enough, he's the biggest racist on the planet when it comes to non-white people.


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## SoVerySoft (Jan 27, 2007)

When I was young my mother told me that she would be very disappointed if I married outside of my religion. I was uncomfortable with that because almost everyone I knew was NOT my religion.

When I was in my 20s and met my husband-to-be, she was actually fine with him being a different religion. It seems that since I'm fat and (she thought) probably wouldn't have much choice, he was better than nothing. 

Turns out he wasnt, but that's another story.  

She didn't say that outright. But I knew it was a factor. What she did say was "your happiness is the most important thing." Yay, Mom!


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## SoVerySoft (Jan 27, 2007)

I want to comment on idun's position. While it is not my position, I do understand people who feel that by mixing races, religions etc, it will cause there to be fewer and fewer distinct races or religions. I know that's the reason my parents did not want me to date outside of my religion. They didn't want it to become obsolete due to mixed marriages.

I believe that is an example of the pride that idun refers to. My parents were proud of our religion, and wanted to preserve it.

Personally I celebrate differences - I think it's a wonderful thing to have people with different backgrounds, nationalities, skin color, religion, etc.

And btw, I date without regard for race, religion, etc. as long as there is chemistry.


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## lemmink (Jan 27, 2007)

Interracial dating is definitely good, because then you get cute kids like me. 

Given that my background is such a psychotic mix of races, I'm pretty much destined to date someone from a race-other-than-my own. (I identify as black in colour and Irish in ethnicity, which confuses most people.) I've really only ever dated white guys, and I seem to get on best with Scottish blokes. I think black guys are hella hot, but the fact is I've never lived in places with any black guys, so I don't get much opportunity. 

That and the fact, much like my mother, I really love the contrast in skin colour.  

Current boy is pale blond thing who's a foot taller than me - like Quasimodo, we do get a lot of double takes because we're such physical opposites of each other. I'd like to have little brown kids with him someday.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 27, 2007)

I am not going to say this with any pride but here goes.

I never dated anyone outside my race for one reason alone - my father.

My father is a racist and a bigot and still uses the *N* word with pride. And he uses that word to describe anyone of color - not just African-Americans. My reasons for not dating outside my race were not about me - but about not subjecting another person to my father. I know I missed out on a lot of wonderful men who wanted to date me and I regret that. But my father would not have restrained himself for anyone. When I dated a Jewish man he was offensive enough. 

I had African-American girlfriends and I could not have them come to the house when I lived with my parents - and they understood after I explained my father to them. He was a huge source of embarrassment for me all the years I lived with them. My one girlfriend Thelma came to our house a few times and my dad never was offensive to her in fact he was quite nice. One day I asked him "Dad - you do know Thelma is African- American right?" I figured since Thelma was very fair maybe he didn't know. I was right his answer was - "That girl is a *N*? I thought she was a chink.!"

I never asked her over again.

Now - were I single - I would date who I liked - color not ever being an issue. I rarely see my folks - and I just don't care what he thinks anymore.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 27, 2007)

"You must spread some reputation around before giving it to Sandie Zitkus again"

Lady I know that was hard to post so I commend you for it. My father was kind of the same in some ways. It was always an embarrassment to me. Fortunately, I didn't live with him most of my childhood so it wasn't that big of an issue.


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## Paw Paw (Jan 28, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I am not going to say this with any pride but here goes.
> 
> I never dated anyone outside my race for one reason alone - my father.
> 
> ...





I dated a girl who's mother was like that. Funny thing is that her boyfriend was half First Nation and White. He was raised by a Black family.

One day I went to get my girl, and the mom called to her" Sambo is here." Her boyfriend told her that she better look in her own backyard. And if she ever said anything like that again, he would have enough N*****s over there to make a Tarzan movie. And do a little reprogramming.

Peace,
2P.


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## furious styles (Jan 28, 2007)

love knows no boundaries. *shrug*


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## ashmamma84 (Jan 28, 2007)

I've never dated interracially, but I don't have a problem with it. These days, love is so hard to come by...if you can get it, nourish it, and hold on to it, it shouldn't matter what the person looks like, be it fat, thin, black, white, polkadot, male, female or otherwise.


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## Ruby Ripples (Jan 28, 2007)

Krissy12 said:


> I agree with Idun about the fact that it's her right to date who she would like and that there are people who will think she is racist. I don't think she is, really. If she were another race, no one would think she was being racist.
> Just as only dating BBW and SSBBW doesn't mean you're against other people of different weights on a personal level.
> 
> That being said, I've dated all kinds of men from different racial backgrounds, and married a Hispanic man. (Now divorced)
> ...



I agree with Krissy here, Idun doesn't need to justify herself either, even though she has done, patiently several times here. It's her preference and her decision. 

I've dated outwith my ethnicity, I wouldn't think twice about doing so again. It's 99% white here though, so don't know what the chances are of it happening.


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## Ryan (Jan 28, 2007)

Spanky said:


> What is white anyway? What is black? I don't think a single one of us is a pure any frickin' thing. The Moors overran Spain and southern France, the Turks controlled parts of Eastern Europe. The Mongol hoards stormed the gates of Europe to Hungary. The Vikings took Spanish and Italian women back north. English have been everywhere in the world. I would bet the majority of Americans of African descent have white, hispanic or some other mix of blood in them........


 
I understand your point, but I still don't like it when people use this argument. Sure; if you look far enough into a person's family tree you might find people who are of another race or ethnicity. That doesn't mean that people can't still be identified as part of a racial or ethnic group. Some of my ancestors came from France which, as you pointed out, was invaded by the Moors long ago. It's certainly possible that someone with Moorish blood is in my family tree, but I'm still very obviously a white guy. 

Regarding interracial dating: 

I think that who people choose to date is their own business, as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult. Personally, I've always preferred white women and haven't dated any women of other races. It's what I happen to find most attractive and, in many cases, I seem to have more in common with white women (music, hobbies, etc.) than I do with women of other races.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 28, 2007)

Ryan said:


> I understand your point, but I still don't like it when people use this argument. Sure; if you look far enough into a person's family tree you might find people who are of another race or ethnicity. That doesn't mean that people can't still be identified as part of a racial or ethnic group. Some of my ancestors came from France which, as you pointed out, was invaded by the Moors long ago. It's certainly possible that someone with Moorish blood is in my family tree, but I'm still very obviously a white guy.
> 
> Regarding interracial dating:
> 
> I think that who people choose to date is their own business, as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult. Personally, I've always preferred white women and haven't dated any women of other races. It's what I happen to find most attractive and, in many cases, I seem to have more in common with white women (music, hobbies, etc.) than I do with women of other races.



Very few black, Hispanic, or Asian women enjoy watching your gnash your bottom teeth. This is true.


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## Ryan (Jan 28, 2007)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Very few black, Hispanic, or Asian women enjoy watching your gnash your bottom teeth. This is true.



You don't like my impersonation of people who only have bottom teeth, but no top teeth?


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 28, 2007)

Ryan said:


> You don't like my impersonation of people who only have bottom teeth, but no top teeth?



Most people generally agree it's pretty horrible.

Come to think of it, that pretty much crosses race barriers. Gender barriers? Don't know.


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## Ryan (Jan 28, 2007)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Most people generally agree it's pretty horrible.
> 
> Come to think of it, that pretty much crosses race barriers. Gender barriers? Don't know.



You're probably right about the gender thing. Most of my guy friends would probably find it funny (or at least not disgusting).


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## Ryan (Jan 28, 2007)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> I just have one question:
> 
> Why?



Because it's her preference?


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 28, 2007)

Ryan said:


> Because it's her preference?



When somebody puts forth a lot of ambiguous arguments, I'm always hungry for clarification. 

I'm wary of the term "pride," especially when it involves drastic isolation.

ETA: There's a huge gap between saying, "I just prefer white women," and, "It's wrong to date outside one's own race."

Also ETA: There's no real right perspective on dating. If you don't feel comfortable dating someone, by all means, don't. I think we owe it to ourselves to figure out WHY we feel certain ways.


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## Ryan (Jan 28, 2007)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> When somebody puts forth a lot of ambiguous arguments, I'm always hungry for clarification.
> 
> I'm wary of the term "pride," especially when it involves drastic isolation.



I'm not sure that wanting to date people of a specific race would be considered "drastic isolation." I prefer to date white women, but I've never had any problem getting along with people of different races.

I'm editing my post to address the edits you made to your post:



TheSadeianLinguist said:


> ETA: There's a huge gap between saying, "I just prefer white women," and, "It's wrong to date outside one's own race."



I agree. But I still don't think I would consider it "drastic isolation." 

In her first post she also said, "BUT that doesn't mean that i dont want anything to do with people from an other race."



TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Also ETA: There's no real right perspective on dating. If you don't feel comfortable dating someone, by all means, don't. I think we owe it to ourselves to figure out WHY we feel certain ways.



But what if she figured out why she feels that way and still has that same opinion?


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## tinkerbell (Jan 28, 2007)

I have no problem with interracial dating - considering my mom is mexican, and my dad is white 

My boyfriend/fiancé/future husband is white, so technically I am dating outside of my race.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 28, 2007)

Ryan said:


> I'm not sure that wanting to date people of a specific race would be considered "drastic isolation." I prefer to date white women, but I've never had any problem getting along with people of different races.
> 
> I'm editing my post to address the edits you made to your post:
> 
> ...



So if X people are okay to have as friends, why aren't they okay to date?  That doesn't really have much to do with the price of tea in China.




> But what if she figured out why she feels that way and still has that same opinion?



People have the right to think whatever they want, and yes, she may feel that way, but if we never challenge our own views, I think there's a fair chance of becoming intellectually, politically, and emotionally stagnant.


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## Ryan (Jan 28, 2007)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> So if X people are okay to have as friends, why aren't they okay to date?  That doesn't really have much to do with the price of tea in China.


 
Ask her, not me. I'm simply pointing out that not wanting to date a certain group of people in and of itself doesn't constitute "drastic isolation." It's not like she said she runs away screaming if she sees a person of another race, or that she refuses to go to a movie if a person of another race is in the theater. 



TheSadeianLinguist said:


> People have the right to think whatever they want, and yes, she may feel that way, but if we never challenge our own views, I think there's a fair chance of becoming intellectually, politically, and emotionally stagnant.


 
But how do you know she hasn't challenged her own views? I'm not taking sides as to whether she's right or wrong, but maybe she _did_ think this through and still reached that conclusion.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 28, 2007)

Ryan said:


> Ask her, not me. I'm simply pointing out that not wanting to date a certain group of people in and of itself doesn't constitute "drastic isolation." It's not like she said she runs away screaming if she sees a person of another race, or that she refuses to go to a movie if a person of another race is in the theater.



I'm saying, at best, she was unclear about her motivations and what she meant. 





> But how do you know she hasn't challenged her own views? I'm not taking sides as to whether she's right or wrong, but maybe she _did_ think this through and still reached that conclusion.



As you pointed out off the board, I think it's possible there's a significant language gap. However, the reasoning behind her position seems vague to me.


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## AnnMarie (Jan 28, 2007)

I HAVE to know how far away you guys are when you're "discussing" in a thread, or do you just pass the laptop back and forth? 
LOL - I'm thoroughly enjoying this, picturing it all. 



As for idun, I think (as others have said) she's got a right to feel however she does about dating whoever she'd like. If she considers that pride in her heritage, then so be it. 

Casey, I think the difference to Idun is that being friends and around people of different races doesn't change the ethnicity of her future children, and as she's mentioned "bloodline" is an important concern of hers when finding a mate. She wouldn't date outside her race because she only wants to have children of her race, and when she dates someone that is hopefully the ultimate goal if things go well.

I know people of different races who feel very similarly, and I think it's all up to them. 

Personally, I don't think seeing someone of another race means I lack pride in my own heritage or bloodline - but I do realize there are people who see it that way.


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## LillyBBBW (Jan 28, 2007)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> When somebody puts forth a lot of ambiguous arguments, I'm always hungry for clarification.
> 
> I'm wary of the term "pride," especially when it involves drastic isolation.
> 
> ...



There are lots of people who have a preference not to date outside of their race. That's up to them but to be of the opinion that *no one else *should either is where it gets sketchy. Are children/people of mixed race somehow bereft of pride? Her first post comes off as a missive towards people of mixed race, as if they have less to be proud of or have lost their right to claim a heritage which is absurd.


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## ZainTheInsane (Jan 28, 2007)

I personally see no problem with it...my own preference is for women of irish or mediterranean descent...but I'm not going to limit myself because of that preference. I mean, people are people. It is personality, and chemistry that really make it happen.


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## Ryan (Jan 28, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> I HAVE to know how far away you guys are when you're "discussing" in a thread, or do you just pass the laptop back and forth?
> LOL - I'm thoroughly enjoying this, picturing it all.



She was in the living room with her laptop and I was in the office with my iMac. Not too far apart, but not right next to each other, either.


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## Will (Jan 28, 2007)

Individually, there is nothing wrong with dating someone outside your race but socially and culturally there can be some issues. I live in South Carolina, USA, and doing that here can be a challenge. The churches here in the south are deeply divided among racial lines. Many people here meet there friends and/or mates at church; so bringing a boyfriend or girlfriend to church who fall outside ones' race can be met with great opposition...so much so that most people here simply don't do it. I understand what idun says in her post. She rather date/marry/kids in her own race to avoid the "opposition" of others that are close to her, that is her friends, family, church members, co-workers, etc. Idun also says its because of her "bloodline" ... whatever that means. We all have red blood you know; but I think she means she wants her kids to carry the same exterior characteristics as her. Many people make a big deal about that...especially many southern churches. Go figure. I once dated a white girl and my family hit the freaking ceiling!!! (I'm black) I like white women but I sometimes feel like I come from the same family as Sandie Zitkus (see previous threads in this series) but only in reverse. Nonetheless, I am attracted to large white women and that will never change.


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## AnnMarie (Jan 28, 2007)

Ryan said:


> She was in the living room with her laptop and I was in the office with my iMac. Not too far apart, but not right next to each other, either.



Eh, still good, but not nearly as comical and overly complicated as I'd imagined.


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## Stealth (Jan 28, 2007)

I am white, and my GF is mixed-race. Any problems? Av at it with ya! c'mon! :O

 I have to admit, before I met my GF, I was only interested in white girls- not due to racism or anything- but due to what I just seemed to like.

Boy have my likes changed- Nothing like a nice firm mixed-race butt. We both love her arse!


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## KnottyOne (Jan 28, 2007)

Well being interacial myself (Milato), I am all for. I grew up in a city where being white was a minority, so needless to say I was extremely open to dating girls of other ethnicities. I'm not one to dwell on the skin, If your nice (and cute, not gonna lie lol) I'm all for it. When I think about it I've dated more Hispanic girls then anything else, but I really dont like to dwell on that. I've dated cute nice girls, period. Race has never mattered to me and never will, love everyone, and thats how I like to live my life.


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## Jack Skellington (Jan 28, 2007)

Ryan said:


> She was in the living room with her laptop and I was in the office with my iMac. Not too far apart, but not right next to each other, either.



So...you are saying you are both in the same house. But instead of walking a few steps into another room and actually talk to each other you are instead typing back and forth. 

Okay, whatever floats yer boat.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 29, 2007)

Jack Skellington said:


> So...you are saying you are both in the same house. But instead of walking a few steps into another room and actually talk to each other you are instead typing back and forth.
> 
> Okay, whatever floats yer boat.



It's a discussion meant for the board. SOMETIMES WE EVEN TALK ON THE PHONE EVEN THOUGH WE'LL SEE EACH OTHER THAT NIGHT. CREEPY!

Although, I thank you for your advice on what's currently a very successful, happy relationship. I am sure you know a lot about how those work, because you seem so successful in interpersonal relations and are not a killjoy at all.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 29, 2007)

TSL - Wayne and I do this too. We live in a small house and I will call his cell if I don't feel like yelling or getting up. And see my post in the Lounge from tonite.

It works for us - and it's damn funny. LOL


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## Jack Skellington (Jan 29, 2007)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> because you seem so successful in interpersonal relations and are not a killjoy at all.



Successful? Oh, please. I couldnt get laid at prostitute convention if I had $1000 taped to my privates.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 29, 2007)

Jack Skellington said:


> Successful? Oh, please. I couldnt get laid at prostitute convention if I had $1000 taped to my privates.



Nope. 

Not a killjoy at all.

I knew you weren't a killjoy, because a killjoy would take my posts literally.

And, Sandie, hey, why not use the cell if you can?


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## KeKe (Jan 29, 2007)

I grew up in a predominatley Black area in my city and it wasn't until high school that I'd ever thought about interracial dating. It wasn't something I had really ever seen so being attracted to someone that wasn't Black had never crossed my mind. When I was 14 I met a White guy that liked Black girls and I fell in lust with him. Since then, I've been attracted to guys from many different races and though I've never been in a serious relationship or dated I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up in an interracial relationship.


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## idun (Jan 29, 2007)

Do be honest i do have a small problem with explaining myself in english, sew me i'm a dutch badly english speaking dumb arse :doh: 

Yes i do know a thing or two about interracial dating.
I do not have my thoughts from my parents, if that is what people may think.
My mother has been known to get in relationships with 'black' men, after she broke up with my father.
So no i do not agree with her, but at the same time she is her own person and i cant make dissions for her.
She does not understand why i made the choice of and not be a christian any more and be interested in presevating my own kind. 
Some where i can understand her , i will never admit it though, but it can be hard in this sociaty to have diffrent thoughts then most part of the world and the easy thing is to go with it.
If people want to label me as a rascist then you may, i wouldn't sleep any less at night.. 
But it's far from the truth.
I do not have a problem with diffrent races and the plus side of my mother wanting to date diffrent races is i get to see how those people are and see there culture.
As sad before i higly respect it when people take pride in there culture as do i.
The only diffrent is when a white person does it they get the feared label.
I do not mind it when they want to see me like that because that only anwsers my ideas that there are truly narrow minded people out there but they are pointing there finger towards the wrong people...
So again: i date someone with the reason that i want a family.
I will not date somebody just for sex but when i truly like and love that person.
And if all goes well we get married, and to get married is to get children because i do want my bloodline to go futher.
I have seen it go so wrong because there are to many things that are diffrent between two races.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 29, 2007)

idun said:


> Do be honest i do have a small problem with explaining myself in english, sew me i'm a dutch badly english speaking dumb arse :doh:
> 
> Yes i do know a thing or two about interracial dating.
> I do not have my thoughts from my parents, if that is what people may think.
> ...



It's just a different perspective. You speak better English than I speak Dutch.

I think that's a fair explanation. Culturally and racially, people are unique, and marrying outside racial and cultural boundaries can be a mistake. My mother's family is German, and they value things very differently than my Texan father's family. People do have to have a different mindset for it to work.


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## LJ Rock (Jan 29, 2007)

Paw Paw said:


> Just like everything else, if you limit your choices, you limit your life.



Good quote, I like this.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 29, 2007)

LJ Rock said:


> *Good quote*, I like this.



Totally agreed


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## Wild Zero (Jan 29, 2007)

I have to say that the idea of a choosing a partner based on extending one's bloodline (or preserving a bloodline) really turns me off. I'd like to think that my (and my partner's) life has more purpose than simply acting as chromosome transmitters. I think that limiting yourself to "white" partners really does little to insure that you're preserving a cultural heritage, consider how many national and regionally distinct cultures there are in that mass of white folks we call Europe. 

In terms of the "double standard" of racism you could argue that as a cultural bloc white people historically have not suffered the oppression and destruction of their culture on the level that would require pride in the color of their skin. Focusing on the United States, every "white" ethnic group came to this country at their own discretion with their cultural heritage intact. Which is why nobody cringes when such groups hold festivals focused on their individual ethnic cultures (rather than "white pride" festivals). But for African peoples brought to the United States slavers purposely separated families and ethnicities (destroying a shared cultural heritage in the process), in order to prevent unified slave uprisings. 

So when someone says that they're black and proud it isn't cringe-worthy precisely because blackness, and the isolation and racism suffered because of it, was the only unifying factor for many people of African decent in the Americas.


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## idun (Jan 29, 2007)

The goal of a human is to reproduce.
Sociaty sets his goal diffrently these days.
Because women are to have great highly paying jobs and work 60 hours in a week, they choose to not have children or at a higher age.
You maybe want to think that there is a higher purpose to your life, but you are made to reproduse.

I am preserving my culture by teaching it to my children 
like my grandparents did with me
i hope they will do that with there children and so on.
And i am keeping my bloodline in tact with having white children.
My partner is also white and dutch , same ras same culture.
Like i have a fylfotin my living room not because of hitler but because it is a old goodluck symbol.
I have many runes painted in my house for many diffrent reasons.
I drink mead from a horn, i wear a thors hammer,
Hell i even wear wodenshoes  
All part of my culture.


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## LJ Rock (Jan 29, 2007)

idun said:


> The goal of a human is to reproduce.
> You maybe want to think that there is a higher purpose to your life, but you are made to reproduse.



As long as we all understand that this is your _opinion_, idun. Not a fact. Reproduction is only one facet of the human experience. There are plenty of people in the world who are either unable or have made the conscious decision *not* to concieve offspring, and still they live very happy and fulfilling lives.

Furthermore, it is one's own prerogotive whom they decide to procreate with, and within which cultural and social factions they choose to raise their children. I think everyone here completely respects and admires you and your partners decision to _stick with your own_ as it were, and to pass on your culture and herritage to future generations. What is slightly disturbing to me and perhaps some others here about your posts is that you seem to be implying that interacial relationships are wrong for everyone all across the board, and not only for yourself.

You have the right to make your own decisions in life based on whatever criteria you feel is pertinant. But also understand that everyone else in the world, including your mother, and even your future children, hold that same right as well. If you decide that it is in your best interest to partner up with someone who hails from the same ethnic, religious and or cultural background as yourself, then by all means do. But no one on this earth has the right to tell any two consenting adults of any race (barring maybe something incestuous) who they can or cannot fall in love with, or raise a family with. 

In all fairness, I think this topic is of a much higher signifigance here in the States where we actually have more racial and cultural diversity than in most European countries. Maybe I am wrong on this point, but it seems to me that if you live in a place where nearly everyone is of the same national origin and herritage, issues of race and race-relations don't really carry a lot of weight. Do they?

Lastly, on the topic of *pride*: I am a bi-racial, Anglo-Germanic, Cape-Verdean American, and you will not find _anyone_ who is more proud of their roots than me! I celebrate and embrace every part of my family's rich and mixed herritage, and I wouldn't want it any other way. Pride is something that comes from inside, not from who you date or marry, or from some "bloodline." No matter who you are or where you come from, you should be proud of yourself as a person and proud of the cultural and genetic roots that brought you to where you are today.


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## mottiemushroom (Jan 29, 2007)

I used to go out with a Jamacian guy (i'm white). It really shocked me how much of an issue it was for others (of all races/creed/colour). I went out with Al purely & simply cos he was a great guy, irrespective of any differences between us.


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## Jon Blaze (Jan 29, 2007)

LJ Rock said:


> As long as we all understand that this is your _opinion_, idun. Not a fact. Reproduction is only one facet of the human experience. There are plenty of people in the world who are either unable or have made the conscious decision *not* to concieve offspring, and still they live very happy and fulfilling lives.
> 
> Furthermore, it is one's own prerogotive whom they decide to procreate with, and within which cultural and social factions they choose to raise their children. I think everyone here completely respects and admires you and your partners decision to _stick with your own_ as it were, and to pass on your culture and herritage to future generations. What is slightly disturbing to me and perhaps some others here about your posts is that you seem to be implying that interacial relationships are wrong for everyone all across the board, and not only for yourself.
> 
> ...



BY THE LIGHT OF JUSTICE!!! I approve this message


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## idun (Jan 29, 2007)

LJ Rock said:


> As long as we all understand that this is your _opinion_, idun. Not a fact. Reproduction is only one facet of the human experience. There are plenty of people in the world who are either unable or have made the conscious decision *not* to concieve offspring, and still they live very happy and fulfilling lives.
> 
> Furthermore, it is one's own prerogotive whom they decide to procreate with, and within which cultural and social factions they choose to raise their children. I think everyone here completely respects and admires you and your partners decision to _stick with your own_ as it were, and to pass on your culture and herritage to future generations. What is slightly disturbing to me and perhaps some others here about your posts is that you seem to be implying that interacial relationships are wrong for everyone all across the board, and not only for yourself.
> 
> ...




It is not an opinion it is a matter of fact.
You are born with the only reason to have children..
If that was not your purpose then i think human kind will come to an end very soon.
I f you want to discus why this is a fact then please start an other treat.

I didn't nor do i have the urge to tell anybody who they need to date.
I sad i didn't agree with her, but also that i cant make dissions for her!
Indeed i dont have the right to tell anybody what they have to do, what i can tell is how i look at things and how i want to live my life.

Here in holland we have what you call a multi culti sociaty, we do have a high cultural diversity.
So yes it does carry weight.

And i know that pride comes from with in you also something i didn't claime otherwise.
And out of the same pride i made my dissions.

You know i get the feeling , that with me saying something diffrent then the rest of you i have to defend myself.. 
What i do is not so weird, it is done all over the world.
I do not judge people, and if you want to date black, white yellow, purple, green for all that matters if your happy with it then good for you.
The only thing is that for myself i will not make the same dission.
Just like it is fine for you to tell you want to date ,someone who is for exemple green, it is fine for me to say that i want to stick with plain white


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## cuddlybbbw (Jan 29, 2007)

Once again, I am speechless...


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## chocolate desire (Jan 29, 2007)

Fuzzy said:


> In mid 80s Texas, when I was in high school, I was friends with a BBT; Dianne, who was black. We'd chat, help each other with homework, etc. but we didn't date. At dances, I would dance with other girls, but not her.
> 
> Hindsight, I was racist. Nothing personal, but I didn't cross the race line. Which is really sad, because I later found out that she had a major crush on me until I offended her at some point. I was clueless.


So that explains why I did not make your crush list LOL.
I myself have always found myself attracted to men of another race.
As a teen and until I was grown I was not allowed to date outside my race my family sees it a sin. When I turned 35 I decided to live my life as I wanted and have only dated (and married) outside my race.I have nothing against any race just what I prefer.
Here in the south when I do go out on a date I still get stares ( maybe it is because my size or beauty) but I dont care.Love comes in a rainbow of color enjoy it to the fullest.


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## ssbbwseekingchat (Jan 29, 2007)

wow, is that ever a topic for me do i think of it lol i grew up in a small all white town where the only black people there i was related to so i never was attracted to my family no i dont go that way so for me its always been white guys i prefer them (according to black family members) i am not black anyways trust me look at my profile pic all black but because i am into tradionally white things country nascar not doing drugs its all about precipation then again i wish race was the only issue i am a very big girl always have been most likely always will be so i cant find someone who shows intrest in me at all forget the black thing i just wanna find someone who can deal with all of me, now does that mean i dont date black guys,mmm i dont know never been motivated 2 but that begs the question


now my question is this is a site where the guys acutally prefer big girls right so where are u guys at cause i dont seem to know of any or am i in the wrong place point me in the right direction thanks again :wubu:


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## cuddlybbbw (Jan 29, 2007)

ssbbwseekingchat said:


> wow, is that ever a topic for me do i think of it lol i grew up in a small all white town where the only black people there i was related to so i never was attracted to my family no i dont go that way so for me its always been white guys i prefer them (according to black family members) i am not black anyways trust me look at my profile pic all black* but because i am into tradionally white things country nascar not doing drugs* its all about precipation then again i wish race was the only issue i am a very big girl always have been most likely always will be so i cant find someone who shows intrest in me at all forget the black thing i just wanna find someone who can deal with all of me, now does that mean i dont date black guys,mmm i dont know never been motivated 2 but that begs the question
> 
> 
> now my question is this is a site where the guys acutally prefer big girls right so where are u guys at cause i dont seem to know of any or am i in the wrong place point me in the right direction thanks again :wubu:



Doing drugs is a "black" thing? I guess it's time for me to find a crack pipe....


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## chocolate desire (Jan 30, 2007)

ssbbwseekingchat said:


> wow, is that ever a topic for me do i think of it lol i grew up in a small all white town where the only black people there i was related to so i never was attracted to my family no i dont go that way so for me its always been white guys i prefer them (according to black family members) i am not black anyways trust me look at my profile pic all black but because i am into tradionally white things country nascar not doing drugs its all about precipation then again i wish race was the only issue i am a very big girl always have been most likely always will be so i cant find someone who shows intrest in me at all forget the black thing i just wanna find someone who can deal with all of me, now does that mean i dont date black guys,mmm i dont know never been motivated 2 but that begs the question
> 
> 
> Oh I admit I am a little dense but does your post mean that white people do not do drugs??
> ...


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## gangstadawg (Jan 30, 2007)

chocolate desire said:


> So that explains why I did not make your crush list LOL.
> I myself have always found myself attracted to men of another race.
> As a teen and until I was grown I was not allowed to date outside my race my family sees it a sin. When I turned 35 I decided to live my life as I wanted and have only dated (and married) outside my race.I have nothing against any race just what I prefer.
> Here in the south when I do go out on a date I still get stares ( maybe it is because my size or beauty) but I dont care.Love comes in a rainbow of color enjoy it to the fullest.


would you still go out with a blackman? or better yet educated black man?


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## chocolate desire (Jan 30, 2007)

gangstadawg said:


> would you still go out with a blackman? or better yet educated black man?


If said man found me attractive and witty and fun to be around of course I would.. I prefer steak over bologna but still have a fried bologna sandwhich now and then. Not comparing white to black as steak and bologna just saying because I prefer something dont mean I would pass up a good black man if one happned along.


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## gangstadawg (Jan 30, 2007)

good blackman eh. um hello your looking at him LOL.


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## curvalicious (Jan 30, 2007)

Love has no color.
So it therefore doesn't stop me from wanting to date someone outside of my own race.


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## adrianTX (Jan 30, 2007)

curvalicious said:


> Love has no color.
> So it therefore doesn't stop me from wanting to date someone outside of my own race.


I totally agree.


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## lemmink (Jan 30, 2007)

I had no idea a fylfot was part of dutch culture - I figured it was only indian & persian. Here's to learnin' something new about another culture!


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## LillyBBBW (Jan 30, 2007)

cuddlybbbw said:


> Doing drugs is a "black" thing? I guess it's time for me to find a crack pipe....



What, didn't you know? We're all baseheads and crack whores, even you cuddly and you didn't even know it.


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## cuddlybbbw (Jan 30, 2007)

Just take my card now Lilly. I'm giving up my black membership NOW!


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## LillyBBBW (Jan 30, 2007)

cuddlybbbw said:


> Just take my card now Lilly. I'm giving up my black membership NOW!



Hold on to it cuddly. You might be able to get a good offer for it from Eminem.


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## Carrie (Jan 30, 2007)

LillyBBBW said:


> Hold on to it cuddly.



Dude. You guys get membership cards? That's so not fair.


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## LillyBBBW (Jan 30, 2007)

Carrie said:


> Dude. You guys get membership cards? That's so not fair.



It's a black thing, you wouldn't understand.


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## cuddlybbbw (Jan 30, 2007)

I thought Slim Shady all ready had his card? I heard that Justina Timberfuck is looking for some street cred. Maybe i'll offer it to him!


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## LillyBBBW (Jan 30, 2007)

cuddlybbbw said:


> I thought Slim Shady all ready had his card? I heard that Justina Timberfuck is looking for some street cred. Maybe i'll offer it to him!



You would *so* rock if you can arrange a steel cage match between him and K-Fed.


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## cuddlybbbw (Jan 30, 2007)

OMG...Justina and Fed Ex in a fight to the death. I am so on that shit! *lol*


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## Carrie (Jan 30, 2007)

LillyBBBW said:


> It's a black thing, you wouldn't understand.



LOL! Next you'll be telling me you get special rates at Costco and hotels and stuff.


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## cuddlybbbw (Jan 30, 2007)

Carrie said:


> LOL! Next you'll be telling me you get special rates at Costco and hotels and stuff.



Nah...Just Sams Club. :eat2:


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## Carrie (Jan 30, 2007)

cuddlybbbw said:


> Nah...Just Sams Club. :eat2:



Nooooooooo! I'm so jealous.


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## LillyBBBW (Jan 30, 2007)

cuddlybbbw said:


> OMG...Justina and Fed Ex in a fight to the death. I am so on that shit! *lol*



Great idea for a poll. Which one do you think would win? That Fed has a lot of rage though Justina is in better shape.


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## MisticalMisty (Jan 30, 2007)

I think in countries such as Scotland etc..it may be possible to keep blood lines "pure." America is known as "the melting pot" for a reason. I bet any American would be hard pressed to know 100% that their blood line is pure. 

Know one knows for sure if there wasn't someone else in the woodpile many moons ago. 

I think race can be a preference..just like dating a fat girl/guy is a preference. We don't question a man's taste for big girls instead of skinny girls, why question a person's preference when it comes to interracial dating?


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## cuddlybbbw (Jan 30, 2007)

Justina is a little girly man with a small head. I think Fed Ex and his rage would woop the mess out of Justina. Besides, he had enough balls to actually marry Britney. Justina just dated her and then cried about it in a song. Weeeeee...threadjacking is fun!


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## Still a Skye fan (Jan 30, 2007)

I'll happily date any girl I find appealing regardless of her race.

I see interracial dating all the time in my area and I couldn't be more pleased. If two people can find love, then more power to them...I'm still trying but haven't given up yet.

I also have two younger brothers who are biracial. Yes, as a kid, I was taught to respect everyone as equals and I still do today.

Here's one interesting thing: The older of my two younger brothers was married for 10 years to a girl who I suspect was a racist.

First, this brother is in the Air Force, so I don't see him very often and I only met his wife once (They've now divorced).

Anyway, my late Mom was Caucasian and fair skinned. There's a Native American in my Dad's family tree, so he's got a slightly darker skin tone. My older sister, older brother and I are white. I'm also adopted.

So, due to a long story, my brother finally brings his wife to meet her in-laws. Yes, she had a darker skin tone than he has (No, not an issue with any of us) but I could see this girl acting colder and colder to all of us as she met her husband's "white" parents and siblings (Gasp! How horrible!  ). I assume my brother told her about his family but her reaction was still sadly amusing and shocking to see.

Needless to say, no, I didn't like her and they eventually divorced.



Dennis


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## gangstadawg (Jan 30, 2007)

Carrie said:


> Dude. You guys get membership cards? That's so not fair.


no ghetto pass for you. LOL.


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## Carrie (Jan 30, 2007)

gangstadawg said:


> no ghetto pass for you. LOL.



So mean!!!


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## Renaissance Woman (Jan 30, 2007)

Carrie said:


> Dude. You guys get membership cards? That's so not fair.


Maybe there's a reciprocal agreement for other groups, like the Boy Scouts or NAAFA.


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Jan 30, 2007)

I date outside my culture also. I'm African-American and am open to different types of people. I don't believe in the concept of "race," since this is an artificial social construct designed to divide and marginalize people. I prefer the term cross-cultural dating.

I think people need to stop acting crazy over interracial dating. Honestly, people are people. In the 21st century, this divisiveness does not make sense. 



LJ Rock said:


> It does surprise me sometimes when people trip about mixed-race coupling. One would think that we would be beyond that as a society now. I think that for the most part we have, but there are always going to be those few I suppose who just can't let go of their prejudices.


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Jan 30, 2007)

I went through an experience like this when I was out with a friend in Northwest Washington DC in 1996. We were just college kids out to see Othello. I'm black and she's Greek American. When I asked the ticket taker about Othello, everybody in line stared daggers at us.





Jay West Coast said:


> I've dated white and Hispanic women, but I've also dated Black and Islander women. I just have a thing for _morenas_, I guess.
> 
> And interracial dating is normally not a big deal, but I've run into issues before. Years ago, I remember travelling with my Islander girlfriend through a particularly conservative area of Oregon (sounds oxymoronic, I know!), and stopped to eat at a pizza joint. When we walked in, it was as if we could feel the tone of the restaurant change before our eyes. The air thickened, and cold looks shot across the room. The smile dropped from our server's face, our pizza arrived late, cold, and with 4 pepperonis. I just got this overwhelming feeling that everyone just wanted us to leave as soon as possible, as if we were ruining everyone else's dinner. It sucked.
> 
> I suppose that since I look so white, it surprised me, since I'm not used to that sort of thing. But once it happened to me, I finally understood the "unspoken" racism that minorities talk about all the time. Sometimes its not what's said, it's what's left unsaid.


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Jan 30, 2007)

Compatibility, not culture, is what is most important. Along with hobbies, I also consider a woman's social class and conduct.




Ryan said:


> I understand your point, but I still don't like it when people use this argument. Sure; if you look far enough into a person's family tree you might find people who are of another race or ethnicity. That doesn't mean that people can't still be identified as part of a racial or ethnic group. Some of my ancestors came from France which, as you pointed out, was invaded by the Moors long ago. It's certainly possible that someone with Moorish blood is in my family tree, but I'm still very obviously a white guy.
> 
> Regarding interracial dating:
> 
> I think that who people choose to date is their own business, as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult. Personally, I've always preferred white women and haven't dated any women of other races. It's what I happen to find most attractive and, in many cases, I seem to have more in common with white women (music, hobbies, etc.) than I do with women of other races.


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## LJ Rock (Jan 30, 2007)

CurvaceousBBWLover said:


> I date outside my culture also. I'm African-American and am open to different types of people. I don't believe in the concept of "race," since this is an artificial social construct designed to divide and marginalize people. I prefer the term cross-cultural dating.
> 
> I think people need to stop acting crazy over interracial dating. Honestly, people are people. In the 21st century, this divisiveness does not make sense.



Nicely said, and I agree. 

Personally I don't like to adapt labels for myself. Being mixed (as nearly all of us are) there is always the feeling that permitting oneself to identifying or assimilating to one particular "race" will somehow neglect a part of who you are.

I don't like to call myself "white" because that would neglect my "black" herritage, but I don't want to call myself "black" either because it would be denying my "white" herritage (besides which, I am so light skinned, most people look at me in total confusion and disbelief when I say that I am "black." lol) 

African-American is a good term, since it does cover all the bases: I am of African descent, but I am an "American" which alsmost always implies some sort of European herritage. Even more specifically sometimes I will simply say that I am Cape Verdean American (Cape Verde, for those who don't know is a small group of islands off the North West coast of Africa, the people there being of mixed African and European origins) since that is where the majority of my father's family hails from. 

But you know, honestly... I don't really want to "label" myself with anything. Overall, I'd say I identify with African-American culture more than anything else, but that doesn't mean that I have to limit myself to just being a part of that culture, and it doesn't mean that I am neglecting my roots just because I express interest in a culture other than my own. I don't have to label myself as "black" or "white" or any other "color" and waste my time and energy proving to the world I am down with one particular "race." (though I think I will hang on to my "ghetto pass" if its all the same to you. lol)

It's not about color, it's all about *culture*.... and there's only one true "race" and that is the *human* race!

*CELEBRATE DIVERSITY, DAMN IT!!!*  ​
Ok, I think I am done here. LOL Thanks for letting me talk, y'all!


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## gangstadawg (Jan 30, 2007)

Carrie said:


> So mean!!!


its not mean you didnt pass the exam yet.


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## mottiemushroom (Jan 30, 2007)

Based on the thread saying we should stick to our own kind for relationships etc ... IF i agreed with this, where the hell would i find another welly wearing mushroom (preferably with ginger hair)    

But on a more serious side of that thought: i was adopted (been unable to trace my roots). I appear to be white, but who knows what is in my genetic background - but quite frankly, i don't care what's there - although not knowing may be the reason i am open to different people rather than closed minded.


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## LillyBBBW (Jan 30, 2007)

gangstadawg said:


> its not mean you didnt pass the exam yet.



Yeah, there's a physical examination involved.


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## Ryan (Jan 30, 2007)

CurvaceousBBWLover said:


> Compatibility, not culture, is what is most important. Along with hobbies, I also consider a woman's social class and conduct.



Culture (which _isn't_ the same thing as race) can play a role in what hobbies we have, what music we listen to, how we behave in certain situations, etc. As a result, culture can affect compatibility between people.


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## chocolate desire (Jan 30, 2007)

idun said:


> It is my preference to date a white guy and i'm proud of my heritage.
> If you are proud of you heritage then why do you want to change it with mixed children?
> I can see guys with a diffrant race and say that that person looks good, but that's the same with other women.
> I cant see myself in an relationship other then friendship with someone of a diffrent race.


I have 3 mixed grandbabies that are very adorable like their mamaw  and the way I see it and will help raie them to see that hey have two heritages to be proud of. Of my mate I would say be proud I am a big sexy woman be proud that I want you in my life be proud that we have a relationship that is working.Pride should have very little in dating your own race.
ETA.. And for the record the only 2 words I find offensive in describing what race I am is colored (even white is a color so why must that word be used) and well of course the N word.


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## seun (Jan 31, 2007)

At age 18, I haven't dated too many grirls (just 3) and they were all white... Just a coincidence. I don't limit myself in terms of ethnicity. I really don't care about the culture that much. As long as she's pretty and preferably Fat.


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## swordchick (Jan 31, 2007)

I absolutely date interracially. I think if you are open to chat about the issues with race and you have the strength to deal with stares & comments, then things can work out. It is a preference. I'm not worried about bloodlines, since I'm not sure of my ancestral background, beside the African part. Culturally, I have been expose to different types of people so I do not feel the need to limit my partner by skin color, nor by cultural background.

In regards to being called African American, I prefer being called black. I do not find it offensive. I find it more offensive being compared to food, like brown sugar. 

You just need to be with someone who will make feel good about yourself!


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## Cosmic~Jans (Jan 31, 2007)

my husband gets called a jew all the time because he is a good business man. I know it gets under his skin but he is smart and strong enough to not let it show. 

I myself wouldn't date out of my race for several reasons but not racist reasons however many of you will consider me a racist just for this post. I have many many large women friends and most of them hook up with black men and none of them are still with said black man. I am all for one thing. IF YOU CAN FIND SOMEONE TO LOVE YOU AND SOMEONE THAT YOU LOVE.. RED PURPLE GREEN OR WHAT EVER COLOR.. GOD BLESS YOU because love is so hard to find! 

Wish all of you the very best in this life and just love who you love but forced love isn't right. Like attraction.. people change, things change, attitudes change. Just because I am a large woman doesn't mean every large girl lover will like me. Hell many don't and think that me being 6 foot 1 and damn near 400 pounds is a bit much for them.. some say I am to small (I don't trust those because there are many women my size and larger out there and all single other than some online pervert that claims to love them but never meets them)

gonna hush now and go post pics.
Have a great day y'all from Alice.. Texas! Y'all


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Jan 31, 2007)

Unfortunately there are a lot of women in our society who seek out black men because they want to try out something forbidden or they want to walk out on the wild side. But they would not think of marrying us because of the social pressure they might face from their family and friends. We live in a country in which people have not yet lost their unreasonable fear of seeing anglo and non-anglo american people (black, hispanic and asian) mix. This stuff has gone on for 200+ years and it still does not make sense to me. And I have a very low opinion of the men who perpetuate this stuff.



Cosmic~Jans said:


> . I myself wouldn't date out of my race for several reasons but not racist reasons however many of you will consider me a racist just for this post. I have many many large women friends and most of them hook up with black men and none of them are still with said black man.


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## Will (Feb 1, 2007)

idun said:


> It is my preference to date a white guy and i'm proud of my heritage.
> If you are proud of you heritage then why do you want to change it with mixed children?
> I can see guys with a diffrant race and say that that person looks good, but that's the same with other women.
> I cant see myself in an relationship other then friendship with someone of a diffrent race.



I am a black man so..

I understand what idun is saying. Here in the south, "heritage" means apparent social and cultural distinctions designed to keep the races apart that are engineered by the church, especially the southern church in the United States. When I dated a white girl, 99% of the opposition came from my "religious" family, relatives and friends, while those who *did not* attend church could care less. This caused me to see the organized church as the originator of the so called racial "heritage" segregator. 
There are "white" churches, "black" churches, "latino" churches and "indian" churches here in the south. The social structure here in the south is designed to keep the races apart and the southern church is the ring-leader. Many church leaders, when questioned about this, say that they are just preserving their "heritage", but inquisitive minds simply know that it is just plain old racism. The graveyards here in the south are even segregated as if heaven was divided among racial lines. Many in the southern churches have told me that it is a SIN to* interrmarry *because this mixes the distinguishing racial characteristics that are the identifying markers of ones' own race. WOW!...that's just double-talk for saying, "I don't want my *white* daughter dating a N****R!" (And where does such a divisive word come from?...The southern church back in the day.)

Charles Darwin, a biologist who wrote "The origin of the species", said that the races are on a "scale" from one to ten, with ten being the most advanced. He classified the white European race at the top of this scale and the black African race at the bottom. He also said that man comes from monkeys and that the first recorded man was found in Africa. See the connection...monkeys/African/bottom........European/white/top. The southern churches of the day asorbed this like a sponge in water! Many white southerners even consider the black race as "cursed" and use the Bible to back it up. Whew! This is why after the civil war Jim crow laws were passed on the black race in the US. Keep in mind that Mr. Darwin did not like blacks yet he considered himself a devout church-leader of his day. Go figure. 
There is no such thing as "black" music, "white" music and so forth. These are just divisive tools designed to keep up apart. I like many entertaining features geared toward white audiences such as auto racing and country music. Not all black people like basketball and rap music. Thanks media! 

God made the HUMAN race with a HUMAN heritage. Organized religion has separated man by the COLOR OF RACE.

Mixed childern do not change YOUR heritage...it only change your VIEW of THIER heritage.

There is NOTHING wrong with having kids in your own race; however, there is nothing WRONG with having kids outside your race either. It is simply a preference and nothing more. However...organized religion has done a great job in screwing the minds of man up.

*Organized segregated religion, slavery, opressive racism by the government and sterotyping by the mass media have really hurt the blacks in America. * Healing needs to occur between people of all kinds and all this talk against "mixed children" only adds to the pain. *All kids are a blessing regardless of what they are "mixed" with.* 

Peace.


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Feb 1, 2007)

I think our country will be so much better off as the country diversifies. I, for one, would like nothing more than to see an end to all of this racial business. It's morally wrong, it's based on a lie, and it's unnecessary. Maybe the best thing for America is for everybody to procreate until all the children and future generations are just one color.


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## LillyBBBW (Feb 1, 2007)

CurvaceousBBWLover said:


> I think our country will be so much better off as the country diversifies. I, for one, would like nothing more than to see an end to all of this racial business. It's morally wrong, it's based on a lie, and it's unnecessary. Maybe the best thing for America is for everybody to procreate until all the children and future generations are just one color.



It's like world wide ethnic cleansing. The intolerant will be intolerable therefore making us all intolerant, etc. etc. Racist rhetoric will never go away. What else will people have to pound their chests about? People will always feel the need to draw rigid lines between 'us' and 'them.'


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 1, 2007)

I have to agree with Will to some extent- I noticed he hails from SC- which is virtually the same in culture as NC- where I live. 
Often times, I have heard people saying that "race-mixing" is a sin and quote from the bible something about the Tower of Babble.
Personally, I still view those people as prejudice and just using the bible as a weapon to force their own views upon others. I'm sure some people could truly feel it's a sin but then again, don't they see "Sin" every day? Why choose "race-mixing" and assert your beliefs about it instead of something along the lines of thieves, wife-beaters, murderers? I mean there are so many terrible things in the world to rally against whether you are religious or not- so why would they care if someone chose to LOVE someone not of their own race?


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Feb 1, 2007)

You're probably right. The ethnic business has been with us for as long as we've had ethnicity. LOL But that doesn't mean that I have to go along with it LOL.




LillyBBBW said:


> It's like world wide ethnic cleansing. The intolerant will be intolerable therefore making us all intolerant, etc. etc. Racist rhetoric will never go away. What else will people have to pound their chests about? People will always feel the need to draw rigid lines between 'us' and 'them.'


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## chocolate desire (Feb 1, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I have to agree with Will to some extent- I noticed he hails from SC- which is virtually the same in culture as NC- where I live.
> Often times, I have heard people saying that "race-mixing" is a sin and quote from the bible something about the Tower of Babble.
> Personally, I still view those people as prejudice and just using the bible as a weapon to force their own views upon others. I'm sure some people could truly feel it's a sin but then again, don't they see "Sin" every day? Why choose "race-mixing" and assert your beliefs about it instead of something along the lines of thieves, wife-beaters, murderers? I mean there are so many terrible things in the world to rally against whether you are religious or not- so why would they care if someone chose to LOVE someone not of their own race?


 One of my favorite sermons I learned in a Southern church was we dont have a skin problem but more like a sin problem.The church I belong to has several mixed couples. As it is becomming more popular my family is starting to agree with my dating choices(except net men thats a sin punishable by satin himself lol).I do find it funny that they have a bigger problem with my younger brother dating a white female than me dating a white male. My 85 year old uncle often comments about how that was not tolerated back in the day.


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## liz (di-va) (Feb 1, 2007)

I dunno, anybody else always think of the George Carlin quote (that was also used in _Bullworth_) in these circumstances?  All I can say is, love is a rare and wonderful commodity and life is short. We can only hope we'll find it, in whatever form it comes.


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Feb 1, 2007)

I've never understood the double standard that makes it okay for a black woman to date a white man, but wrong for a black man to date a white woman. Why do people in our african american community have this double standard? It makes no sense.




chocolate desire said:


> One of my favorite sermons I learned in a Southern church was we dont have a skin problem but more like a sin problem.The church I belong to has several mixed couples. As it is becomming more popular my family is starting to agree with my dating choices(except net men thats a sin punishable by satin himself lol).I do find it funny that they have a bigger problem with my younger brother dating a white female than me dating a white male. My 85 year old uncle often comments about how that was not tolerated back in the day.


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## Santaclear (Feb 1, 2007)

One of the loves of my life was black (and I bet she still is, but we lost touch several years ago.) She told me back then after a few of her friends met me they said to her, "Wow, Mae, now you're with a REAL white guy!" ('cos they pretty much stuck to the ghetto and all the white guys they knew talked and tried to be black.)


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## swordchick (Feb 2, 2007)

CurvaceousBBWLover said:


> I've never understood the double standard that makes it okay for a black woman to date a white man, but wrong for a black man to date a white woman. Why do people in our african american community have this double standard? It makes no sense.


 
I think that mind thought goes back to the days of slavery when many of female slave owners fell in love with their male slaves. It made a lot of the other slaves mad because those slaves would get better treatment.

Also, there are more black men in interracial relationships than black women. Many black women will not date outside of their race. But for the ones that do, people excuse it with the following statement, "There is a shortage of good black men, due to our men being in prisons or they are with white women." I think that is a silly way of thinking. 



Santaclear said:


> One of the loves of my life was black (and I bet she still is, but we lost touch several years ago.) She told me back then after a few of her friends met me they said to her, "Wow, Mae, now you're with a REAL white guy!" ('cos they pretty much stuck to the ghetto and all the white guys they knew talked and tried to be black.)


 
There are not too many REAL white guys hanging out in the ghetto. It just reminds me of my friend bringing her rock musician boyfriend (now husband) to meet her family. They would call him by her ex-boyfriend's name. and make stupid racist comments. She was embarrassed, but he thought that it was funny (thank goodness).


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## Santaclear (Feb 2, 2007)

swordchick said:


> There are not too many REAL white guys hanging out in the ghetto. It just reminds me of my friend bringing her rock musician boyfriend (now husband) to meet her family. They would call him by her ex-boyfriend's name. and make stupid racist comments. She was embarrassed, but he thought that it was funny (thank goodness).



Nah, her family was cool, nothing like that. I hardly spent much time with them anyway for a number of reasons, but we all seemed to like each other. 

The one thing I regret was not going one night when she, her younger sis and mom invited me with them to a service at a tiny neighborhood baptist church. Turns out the sis (who was nice and cute but schizophrenic or something) was slapped on the forehead by the minister and fell to the ground, had some sort of holy fit for a few minutes and was speaking in tongues the whole time. I stayed home to practice drums.


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## calauria (Feb 2, 2007)

Thanks everyone for your input and respecting each others preferences and opinions!! GROOOOvaaaaayyy!!:wubu:


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## swordchick (Feb 2, 2007)

Santaclear said:


> The one thing I regret was not going one night when she, her younger sis and mom invited me with them to a service at a tiny neighborhood baptist church. Turns out the sis (who was nice and cute but schizophrenic or something) was slapped on the forehead by the minister and fell to the ground, had some sort of holy fit for a few minutes and was speaking in tongues the whole time. I stayed home to practice drums.


 
One of my high school friends did that. I was absolutely shocked. At that time, I'd only seen old ladies do it, not teenagers. She invited me to go to church with her and I almost declined her offer. One of my best friends catches the Holy Ghost a lot so I'm used to it.

I'm glad that you did not have to go through the uncomfortable meeting with folks.


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## Candy_Coated_Clown (Feb 14, 2007)

Interracial dating has never been something I've "stepped into" later on in life or "at some point" mentally like it seems to be for most, which for others makes it more of a novel or foreign experience. Most of my relationships have been interracial and that's not by any exclusive attractions or anything. I find contrast attractive admittedly but again it's not a requirement and certainly not a fetish.

To me it's like drinking water and has been since day one and it's natural for me to find a -variety- of men and looks attractive. So many people make a big deal out of IR dating by way of gawking/stares, whispers and socio-political rants/disapproval. Families are torn apart due to it, "friends" are lost, people are afraid to make their own decisions, stand up to the opposition that may and usually does occur to some degree and so forth. It's absolutely ridiculous!

Yeah... indeed race is still a sizeable issue and will continue to be especially in regards to black/white relations but it is still amazing to see how strongly many react to IR dating, specifically black/white couples when compared to other types of interracial pairings...taking it so very personally.


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## Canonista (Feb 14, 2007)

My girlfriend is Indian and Mexican on her father's side. Me? I'm just a Mick on both sides of my family. Oddly, neither of us are big drinkers...:blink:


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## Candy_Coated_Clown (Feb 14, 2007)

> I've never understood the double standard that makes it okay for a black woman to date a white man, but wrong for a black man to date a white woman. Why do people in our african american community have this double standard? It makes no sense.



Yeah there are those who definitely think this way but I must say that I've certainly experienced and seen the opposite too...many times...so the double standard goes both ways.


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