# How Does it Feel to be Fat



## Dravenhawk (Oct 25, 2007)

I am asking this question to gather some ballanced prespective about what it feels like to be fat. Being a skinny guy there is alot I take for granted. Having spent some considerable time with BBWs of a variety of sizes, I have observed most of the ladies of size I have encountered wishing they were thin. It wasn't until I stumbled upon Dimensions that I discovered there was a whole other side to being heavy.
As an FA I have some insights on how people of size fit in a world that is too small. On one side I have the ideal view. Size conveying sexual power, the thrill of the floor shaking under a heavy persons footsteps of the chair groaning in protest of the weight load placed upon it. Every big person I have met except for two, try to hide from thier size trying not to get noticed. How do you feel when you shake the floor under your footsteps? How does it feel when something breaks under your weight? How does it feel to be two, three, maybe even four times your partners size / weight? I have heard alot about how bad being big makes one feel. I am interested in what about being big makes you feel good about yourself as well. 

Dravenhawk


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## bexy (Oct 26, 2007)

*well how it feels to me is sensual, soft, warm, comforting, sexy, i feel as if i stand out, i feel womanly, i feel proud, and i feel like the me i truly am, rather than the me i would be if i tried to lose weight...*


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## ripley (Oct 26, 2007)

I like to say "Godzilla!!!!" as I thunder about the floor, and watch the wicker furniture tremble in fear.


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## Adrian (Oct 26, 2007)

I like Dravenhawk, enjoy being an FA, about two hundred and fifth-teen pounds (6'-½"). I have been open about preferring BBWs, since kindergarden. I also grew up underweight (155 lbs) at this height. I was tired having trouble being cold, negative buoyancy, being to light in playing my favorite sport -flag football, etc. So in the summer of 1974, I intentionally worked to gain weight up to 185 pounds. The problems I had being skinny went away. Blind side blocks in football sent the other guy sprawled out on the ground, problems with cold went away and, so did my negative buoyancy. The biggest surprise was the way other people re-acted to my "command presence!" With a greater tolerance to cold, I was able to take up cross country skiing and snowcamping!
As my weight has gone from 155 to 252 pounds, what I have noticed is different types of women found me attractive at different weights!
I didn't notice that mainly BBWs found me attractive when I was skinny. Average size women found me attractive when I weighed 185 to 205. When my weight went from 212 to 252 pounds (gaining weight due to medications), I found very petite (short as well as skinny) tended to be attractive to me.
Overall, the weight range I am happiest with is 205 to 215 pounds.

Adrian


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## Smushygirl (Oct 26, 2007)

ripley said:


> I like to say "Godzilla!!!!" as I thunder about the floor, and watch the wicker furniture tremble in fear.



I especially love when you breathe fire! You are sooo hawt!!!! :wubu:


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## mossystate (Oct 27, 2007)

Smushygirl said:


> I especially love when you breathe fire! You are sooo hawt!!!! :wubu:



I just wish the fire came out of her mouth..other than that..oh yeah..fee-fi-fo-fum!


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## imfree (Oct 27, 2007)

ripley said:


> I like to say "Godzilla!!!!" as I thunder about the floor, and watch the wicker furniture tremble in fear.



Hahaha!!!, Ripley, I know EXACTLY where you're coming from. I do have to be
careful with floors and furniture, but at times, I really get off on knowing that
I'm actually strong enough to move this 430 lb body around!


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## Jes (Oct 27, 2007)

It's an interesting question--my time at Dims has shown me that there's a continuum of how people interact with their own fatness. Some of us don't care for it. Some of us want to lose it. Some of us are ok with it. Some of us revel in it. Some of us want to get more of it. Some of us want to get fat but won't let ourselves. Some of us fantasize about all things fat and live the dream. Some of us fantasize about all things fat and don't let ourselves live the dream--perhaps sometimes just b/c fantasy is more powerful than reality and there's something 'taboo' about being transgressive, and people often really enjoy hiding taboo things. Thinking about something being naughty is hotter than thinking of it being mundane. 

So to ignore categories 1-3 above, and just look at the rest (except for the non-fatties there at the end!), I wonder how many people who are just fat, maybe grew up fat or ...don't feel fat is a choice per se (difficult to word this skillfully--but I'm thinking of people who aren't gainers, and who aren't so into the talking about or thinking about being fat) but are just plain fat, even think much about the things the OP listed, except in the ways that they might be limitations (things to be aware of in a new space, for example). 

Personally, I like my body, but I can't ever imagine me saying: I like my fat. Not b/c fat is bad or wrong, but because ...fat modifies body in that sentence. The fat doesn't exist on its own. And I do feel a lot of people tell me that means I hate myself or I don't find myself sexy, or I don't think fat is sexy, or a whole bunch of stuff I haven't said. Numbers-wise, what's the breakdown of women who think like I do, more or less, or women who find fat, their own fat...well, akin to something the OP suggested. Do you like your hips b/c they're your hips and you were born with them and you've been with them your whole life and they're great at salsa dancing, and you like the way they look, etc, etc, or do you like that they're fat? For me, I can't separate those things at all. My fat ass is the only ass I've ever known. I wasn't thin last year and on a gaining path, so my ass is just my ass, in my mind. I suppose other people feel differently. Do newly-fat people or *FAs* (either sex) have more of a classification system for these feelings than the average fat person, do you think?


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## Fascinita (Oct 27, 2007)

Jes said:


> My fat ass is the only ass I've ever known. I wasn't thin last year and on a gaining path, so my ass is just my ass, in my mind. I suppose other people feel differently.



Yeah, it's hard to know how it feels to be fat, since I don't know what it feels like to be skinny (it's been a long time since I was thin). To me, this is just how my body is. What does that feel like? Mmm... What does it feel like to be thin? Maybe if you could start there it might provide a reference frame to compare against fat. I don't know.


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## Aurora (Oct 27, 2007)

Jes said:


> It's an interesting question--my time at Dims has shown me that there's a continuum of how people interact with their own fatness. Some of us don't care for it. Some of us want to lose it. Some of us are ok with it. Some of us revel in it. Some of us want to get more of it. Some of us want to get fat but won't let ourselves. Some of us fantasize about all things fat and live the dream. Some of us fantasize about all things fat and don't let ourselves live the dream--perhaps sometimes just b/c fantasy is more powerful than reality and there's something 'taboo' about being transgressive, and people often really enjoy hiding taboo things. Thinking about something being naughty is hotter than thinking of it being mundane.
> 
> So to ignore categories 1-3 above, and just look at the rest (except for the non-fatties there at the end!), I wonder how many people who are just fat, maybe grew up fat or ...don't feel fat is a choice per se (difficult to word this skillfully--but I'm thinking of people who aren't gainers, and who aren't so into the talking about or thinking about being fat) but are just plain fat, even think much about the things the OP listed, except in the ways that they might be limitations (things to be aware of in a new space, for example).
> 
> Personally, I like my body, but I can't ever imagine me saying: I like my fat. Not b/c fat is bad or wrong, but because ...fat modifies body in that sentence. The fat doesn't exist on its own. And I do feel a lot of people tell me that means I hate myself or I don't find myself sexy, or I don't think fat is sexy, or a whole bunch of stuff I haven't said. Numbers-wise, what's the breakdown of women who think like I do, more or less, or women who find fat, their own fat...well, akin to something the OP suggested. Do you like your hips b/c they're your hips and you were born with them and you've been with them your whole life and they're great at salsa dancing, and you like the way they look, etc, etc, or do you like that they're fat? For me, I can't separate those things at all. My fat ass is the only ass I've ever known. I wasn't thin last year and on a gaining path, so my ass is just my ass, in my mind. I suppose other people feel differently. Do newly-fat people or *FAs* (either sex) have more of a classification system for these feelings than the average fat person, do you think?



Extremely thought provoking Jes, thank you. I never thought of it that way.

For me, being someone who gains weight for pleasure (and have since age 9, even before I knew sexuality was tied to it), I've got a skewed view. I would not be happy with myself were I thin. In fact I believe my entire personality would change and I don't want that to happen. I wouldn't be who I am now, and I really like who I am now. 

But that's not exactly answering the question, is it? I do truly love being fat. I love the way my belly jiggles. I love the way my hips sway as I walk. I love finding that I'm too big to go on some rides. I get thrilled when my belly presses against the table in a small desk or tight restaurant booth. I enjoy outgrowing clothing and feel it strain against my plush curves. 

Of course there are some cons. Not being able to keep up in groups of friends walking any distance is one of my annoyances with myself, but I think if I exercised a little more in general that might not be as big a deal. However the pros FAR outweigh the cons for me. And I'm happy this way.  Happiness means the most to me out of anything.

~Aurora


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## imfree (Oct 27, 2007)

Aurora said:


> Extremely thought provoking Jes, thank you. I never thought of it that way.
> 
> For me, being someone who gains weight for pleasure (and have since age 9, even before I knew sexuality was tied to it), I've got a skewed view. I would not be happy with myself were I thin. In fact I believe my entire personality would change and I don't want that to happen. I wouldn't be who I am now, and I really like who I am now.
> 
> ...



Wow, Aurora!, were like-minded and you know about yourself at a young age
what I didn't fully realize about myself until I was in my 40's!

Reality Check: Yep Guys, I'm 52 and I know I'm dangerously pushing
the limits. Don't try this at home.


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## Fascinita (Oct 27, 2007)

Aurora said:


> I've got a skewed view. I would not be happy with myself were I thin. ...I love the way my belly jiggles. I love the way my hips sway as I walk. I love finding that I'm too big to go on some rides. I get thrilled when my belly presses against the table in a small desk or tight restaurant booth. I enjoy outgrowing clothing and feel it strain against my plush curves



I don't think it's skewed. Lots of people like being fat and would not be happy being thin.

The list of what you like about being fat is, with the exception of "finding out I'm too big to go on some rides," (though I bet some people are told they are too _small_ for certain rides) not exclusively experiences of "fat" people. Some people who are not regarded as particularly fat have jiggly bellies. Women who are not regarded as particularly fat have hips that sway when they walk. People's bellies press up against tables and desks all the time. People, whether fat or thin, outgrow clothing (though I'm not sure that many people think of themselves in terms of "plush curves"--for example I, a "plushly curved" fattie, don't think of myself in those terms, it seems sort of a fabricated euphemism for good old fat, and reminiscent of furniture upholstery).

So I'm curious about why you experience these as particularly "fat" experiences. Is it the feeling of taking up more room in the world than others? Is it relative to other people's bodies? Or is it purely an experience of your own senses? I'm curious.

Best,

Fascinita


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## William (Oct 27, 2007)

Hi 

I know how you feel, I have always been fat, as a 10.5 baby there are pictures of me with fat rolls in diapers 

I am OK with my body and any displeasures is 100% about society's views on fat.

William




Fascinita said:


> Yeah, it's hard to know how it feels to be fat, since I don't know what it feels like to be skinny (it's been a long time since I was thin). To me, this is just how my body is. What does that feel like? Mmm... What does it feel like to be thin? Maybe if you could start there it might provide a reference frame to compare against fat. I don't know.


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## kr7 (Oct 27, 2007)

I suppose that I am in a position to compare how it feels to be fat, to how it feels to be thin, since I have been both. Nevertheless, it is a question that is difficult to answer, because there is so many levels on which it could be answered.

Physically (for me at least), it was vastly more comfortable to be thin. There was a lot less aches and pains, etc. I also felt more graceful, mostly because it was less painful for me to move around. This is not to say that I am immobile, but I certainly feel that there are some activities I can't do these days.

Logistically, it was WAY easier to be thin. All the little everyday things were simply easier. For example, buying clothes now is a huge adventure. It's so hard to find stuff that fits, that it can take weeks or even months to find an item I need. Maneuvering into my desk at school can sometimes be very interesting. There are actually a few classrooms in an older building where I simply don't fit into the desks at all. And so on, and so forth.

Emotionally, I was never particularly mindful of my (or anyone else's) appearance. I mean, I appreciate good personal hygiene and neatness, but I've always been vastly more interested in personalities and minds. So really, I feel pretty ambiguous about my body now, as I did when I was skinny, and strangely enough, it doesn't really *feel* different to me.

Having said that, others plainly differ on this point with me. I have always been treated vastly better as a skinny chick, than as a fat chick. This does bother me quite a bit. It's not that I need the adulation of others in order to be somehow validated, but realistically speaking, the opinion of others does affect what happens to us in the course of our lives, whether we like it or not. I might know that my beliefs and IQ level haven't change, but unfortunately, that is not necessarily how my teachers/boss/doctor/etc. treats me. Needless to say, this can have a hugely negative impact on my life.

Chris


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## Aurora (Oct 27, 2007)

Fascinita said:


> I don't think it's skewed. Lots of people like being fat and would not be happy being thin.
> 
> The list of what you like about being fat is, with the exception of "finding out I'm too big to go on some rides," (though I bet some people are told they are too _small_ for certain rides) not exclusively experiences of "fat" people. Some people who are not regarded as particularly fat have jiggly bellies. Women who are not regarded as particularly fat have hips that sway when they walk. People's bellies press up against tables and desks all the time. People, whether fat or thin, outgrow clothing (though I'm not sure that many people think of themselves in terms of "plush curves"--for example I, a "plushly curved" fattie, don't think of myself in those terms, it seems sort of a fabricated euphemism for good old fat, and reminiscent of furniture upholstery).
> 
> ...



Well, looking around the classroom in my social psychology class I'm one of maybe three people total with a belly pressed up against the table in my desk, and I'm far more crammed than anyone else. 

I guess what I meant was in comparison to most of the population. I'm 370 pounds, and tall. I have a strong presence when I enter a room simply due to my size and I like that. I'm not one to shy into a corner - I'm gonna be the life of the party! 

As far as "euphemisms" are concerned, I have no problem with the word fat. I frequently use it to describe myself. However it's also a word with a wide (no pun intended) variety of wonderful synonyms and I like to make use of those as well.  Why limit myself?

So in answer to your questions, I guess I'd have to say "all of the above." I like that I take up more room than the average Joe or Jane, it is relative to the size of other people (along side that, when I'm around people bigger than I am it's awe-inspiring), and it is an experience of my own senses. In early high school I was 250 pounds and thought I was quite fat. I've come a long way and I've enjoyed the journey. 

~Aurora


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## Jes (Oct 27, 2007)

See, you're the sort of person that my response was trying to connect with. I have no doubt that there are a lot of people like you--actively choosing fat b/c you like things about it, and you feel it makes you, or helps you be all of the things you mentioned. Personally, I have a big mouth and I think, even at 150 lbs., I'd walk into a room and own it (if only b/c I wouldn't let anyone else be a competitor, haha). So for me, it's not my fat--and I'm a hair under 5 ft 4, so while i'm fat, I've never quite felt 'big' somehow, but that's all subjective, I know.

And I wonder if, for those people who are very excited, or comforted or whatever'd by large people who specifically like their fat, they really will only be happy with, or they'll make the best match with, someone who thinks that way too. I know that so many times, I've had guys want me to talk about how much I like my fat, and I just can't even use language that way b/c it just doesn't ...I dont' think of it that way. It's like me saying: what do you love about having brown hair? Someone might like his/her hair, and even like that it's brown, but it doesn't have a separate life. It's not a wig.  And if that's major to me, if I need to hear osmeone go on and on about how having brown hair makes him masculine, it makes him powerful, it makes him smart, it makes him imposing, then I'd best find a partner who thinks all of that stuff, and not just a dude who says: Hmmn, never really thought about it--i do like my brown hair, is that enough? ...no?

If I end up with that guy, I'm never really going to be satisfied. So we're down even furtther on the fat subclass ladder now.


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## kr7 (Oct 27, 2007)

Jes said:


> ........I know that so many times, I've had guys want me to talk about how much I like my fat, and I just can't even use language that way b/c it just doesn't ...I dont' think of it that way. It's like me saying: what do you love about having brown hair?.......



Yup! That is a great point. You could liken this situation to one where the girl wants her guy to get excited about the latest bargains she found while clothes shopping, or worse to get in on the actual action.  Most guys don't mind clothes as such, but don't really think and obsess about them day and night.

Chris


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## Aurora (Oct 27, 2007)

Jes - You have super awesome points.

I think you're far from alone in your view as well. In fact I think it's becoming more prevelant in society to be fat and (I don't want to say not care, but...) just accept it that way. I can understand how awkward a relationship would be with a firm fat admirer who wants to hear you say how much you love it when it really doesn't hold those connotations.

Honestly, I can relate to that being on the other end. My ex boyfriend was a really big guy, but he didn't like his size. I was all over him about how much I did like his size and emphasized that in our relationship, and while he was less adament about losing weight there still wasn't that love for it that I wanted him to have. He just didn't care. However he didn't care about mine either, and from that stemmed my common saying that there's a big difference between someone who doesn't care what you look like and someone who absolutely loves it. Though to say that applies only to fat would be wrong. Ultimately to be happy I believe it's best to find someone who will love you at any weight. Of course attraction level might change, and I don't think I'd be shallow to say that I wouldn't be quite as attracted to my current boyfriend's body if he lost 50 pounds. I'm sure he feels the same about me. It doesn't mean I'd love him any less.

I went off on a tangent there. But this is a topic I'm really interested in. Thanks for elaborating.

~Aurora


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## Jes (Oct 27, 2007)

Really good point--I wonder how similar the 'c'mon, tell me how much you like stressing the bed frame' comments, to someone who just isn't so much turned on by or tuned in to fat that way, are to the 'no, don't tell me I'm sexy, I don't like being fat, don't look at me when I'm naked' comments are to someone who wants to be open about their love of a fat partner's body.

Probably very similar, and a big problem for a lot of couples or potential couples.


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## Jon Blaze (Oct 28, 2007)

Jes said:


> Really good point--I wonder how similar the 'c'mon, tell me how much you like stressing the bed frame' comments, to someone who just isn't so much turned on by or tuned in to fat that way, are to the 'no, don't tell me I'm sexy, I don't like being fat, don't look at me when I'm naked' comments are to someone who wants to be open about their love of a fat partner's body.
> 
> Probably very similar, and a big problem for a lot of couples or potential couples.



Good point from you as well.

I think it's really hard to find that balance, and that's why I think it is important that people strive to be somewhere in the middle with all these traits. Like not be dependent on them for relationships to the point that it becomes the sole thing within them, but not be so distant that it seems as if you're turned off by these traits.


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## JimP (Oct 28, 2007)

As a skinny person I'd say the most annoying part is to be careful to not lose weight as I'm sure to lose muscle mass if it happens. 
On the other hand despite my interest for the curvy women I can't imagine myself with a high BMI.


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## Jes (Oct 29, 2007)

Jon Blaze said:


> Good point from you as well.
> 
> I think it's really hard to find that balance, and that's why I think it is important that people strive to be somewhere in the middle with all these traits. Like not be dependent on them for relationships to the point that it becomes the sole thing within them, but not be so distant that it seems as if you're turned off by these traits.



i don't know, jon. It's my right to think of my fat body as I choose to think of it. What do you define as distant? I know that every time a man has asked me his standard 'fat questions' he's been disappointed with my answer. Every time. And I like my body! I love sex! I've let myself be photographed naked for the internet, in a place all about the beauty of the fat female body. I'm a heavy (!) poster at Dimensions, a site for size acceptance. I do not hate myself and I do not hate fat. I don't know how much clearer I can be about that. So is that 'distant,' as you describe it? Why is it my job to indulge some man on the internet that I don't know, that doesn't want to know me other than to talk about my fat? Why? Are you talking about a partner with whom I'm involved, telling me that hearing about it is his big thing, and can we do that sometimes? Sure, I can probably do that (haven't been in that situation, so I can't say 'yes' as if I have), but watch the way I live my life and the way I treat myself; there's no distance there, if you're willing to look past your own 'how many inches around is your stomach? does that turn you on?' nose.
(not you, jon. communal you).


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## k1009 (Oct 29, 2007)

I'm going to be honest, at a certain weight (approximately 80kg on a 174cm frame) I really enjoyed my fat and loved the way my body distributed the weight to areas that had previously been lacking in curves. Having gained a significant amount over that 80kg, I'm finding I have a love/hate relationship with the fat that is probably not healthy mentally. I enjoy the way my body looks, but I loathe the limitations that are now placed on me. As someone who lives in a subtropical climate, in a concrete jungle of millions all relying on a joke of a public transport system, my life is very uncomfortable now that we're heading into summer. Driving is not an option as this is not a city designed for car users. 

Incidentally, I'm a little under 250 now. I don't feel any sexual thrill being this size, especially when I'm red faced and sweating at 9am. Back a few months and about 30 pounds, I enjoyed it, to an extent. I liked the way it looked, as said previously, and the way it felt. I enjoyed my fat as long as the temperature didn't go over 23 degrees. I guess for me my fat love is seasonal, and as I love Australia and especially Sydney with a passion that I've never felt for any of the other countries and cities I've been in, I'm faced with the option of losing the fat I love and hate or moving out to the suburbs, living in an air conditioned house, driving an air conditioned car and generally avoiding the parts of my city that I enjoy so much.

I didn't mean this to turn into a rant about the climate, but for me, the luxury of enjoying my fat is tempered by my love for a country and a lifestyle that seems intent on frying me for half the year. Complicated, I guess.


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## RedVelvet (Oct 29, 2007)

imfree said:


> Hahaha!!!, Ripley, I know EXACTLY where you're coming from. I do have to be
> careful with floors and furniture, but at times, I really get off on knowing that
> I'm actually strong enough to move this 430 lb body around!




You need to turn your "sarcasm recognizer" up, Edgar.


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## imfree (Oct 29, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> You need to turn your "sarcasm recognizer" up, Edgar.



Turned up and I'll be more careful.


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## Tracy (Oct 29, 2007)

In my opinion how you feel has nothing to do with fat but attitude. I found this and would like to share it:
Attitude by Charles Swindoll
"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude in life. Attitude to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. we cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it, and so it is with you. WE ARE IN CHARGE OF OUR ATTITUDES." 

I am a tall and large lady and love that I am blessed with a bigger body. My fat does not hold me back.


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## Theresa48 (Oct 29, 2007)

How does it feel to be fat? For me, sometimes it feels "good" and sometimes it feels "bad." Most of the time, it feels so much a part of who I am I don't think about my fat as good or bad. Much like I don't think about how my eyes feel, or hands feel...until something goes haywire with them. So it is with my fat. As long as I can function without pain being "fat" isn't an issue with me (under 310 pounds seems to be the limit of weight I can carry before my joints hurt, back goes out of whack or I have a difficult time getting up off the floor on my own.) However, that limit is changing the older I get. Do I think about the floor shaking under my weight and loving it? No. Do I look forward to a chair creaking as I sit on it or even worse...breaking? No. Do I want to use my weight to gain the attention of everyone in the room? No. Do I love the feel of my smooth skin? The rolls around my tummy? The sturdiness of my thick legs? Yes. Do I love being touched? Yes. Would I like that skinny or fat? I think so. Do I love sex. Yes...but I think I'd love sex thin or thick. Have I ever been thin? No. Do I wish ever to be thin? No. I like who I am most of the time....not all, but most. I don't like myself most of the time because I am fat. I just like myself. Being a slow learner, it took me many years to learn to like myself. LOL. 

I live in the reality of being fat which at times can lead to embarrassing situations that I've learned to deal with hopefully in a healthy way.
Those of us who have never been fat, can't imagine what that reality means...the having to be careful of what you sit on, what restaurant you choose to go to because of the seating, the movie theaters you can go to, the plane seats that may or may not "fit" you. I can't really imagine the reality of being thin. I can fantasize about it...how wonderful it might be to walk lightly across a room, to sit gracefully on a couch, etc. 
Somehow...for me...I doubt that the reality would be the same as the fantasy....the grass is greener phenomenon. I will stand down from my soap box now. T


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## Jon Blaze (Oct 29, 2007)

Jes said:


> i don't know, jon. It's my right to think of my fat body as I choose to think of it. What do you define as distant? I know that every time a man has asked me his standard 'fat questions' he's been disappointed with my answer. Every time. And I like my body! I love sex! I've let myself be photographed naked for the internet, in a place all about the beauty of the fat female body. I'm a heavy (!) poster at Dimensions, a site for size acceptance. I do not hate myself and I do not hate fat. I don't know how much clearer I can be about that. So is that 'distant,' as you describe it? Why is it my job to indulge some man on the internet that I don't know, that doesn't want to know me other than to talk about my fat? Why? Are you talking about a partner with whom I'm involved, telling me that hearing about it is his big thing, and can we do that sometimes? Sure, I can probably do that (haven't been in that situation, so I can't say 'yes' as if I have), but watch the way I live my life and the way I treat myself; there's no distance there, if you're willing to look past your own 'how many inches around is your stomach? does that turn you on?' nose.
> (not you, jon. communal you).




Whoops. HOLY BARNACLES BATMAN!  

I meant that post actually in regards to what *I think* I'm obligated to do as part of my status of an FA, and as an overall believer in size acceptance.
It is my personal goal that with a woman of any size  that I find attractive: That if that physical trait is there (And we both like.. uhh.. want to go farther than friendship or something ) , I have to be somewhere between those two extremes. I strive to not be at the extreme of ZOMGZ HOW MUCH DUZ UR BELLY HANG OMGZ HAYLO THAR BUTTSECKS, but I also don't want to be completely from that physically, based on the parameter. I don't believe that any body type is synomyous with attractiveness though, so the same applies for thin women that I find attractive too. This isn't the size acceptance part though.

I think I may have worded what I meant wrong. I kind of said it like one extreme is complete fixation on the trait, and being distant is the opposite extreme, but I mean to say that this is really three-sided, if you will. You can hate it, obsess over it, or be distant from it. You have every choice to do what you wish, but I advise something between these three, preferably somewhere between not obsessing, and not hating yourself for it. I don't think distance matter too too much really.

The only thing I would strive to do possibly is influence you, or anyone else for that matter to just love themself if I felt the need to (Not that it's common I might add), with no barring on bodyweight whatsoever. Whether that means embracing it as an integral part of them, or not is just a matter of situations. I'd say "Love yourself the way you are," not "EMBRACE YOUR FAT! IT COMPELLS YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!" 

I really don't see it in terms of inches and all that either: That's really my thing. It's really just what I see with my eyes. I can't put a number on it, and I don't exactly go with the paradigm of "Bigger is always better" due to my views, so yea. There's women I think that are attractive at 220lbs, and I don't wish for them to get bigger, just as the same would apply to women twice that weight, or half. I'm open to those changes (Especially if they're natural), but I don't advocate them for sexual purposes. That's not how I roll. 

Sorry if I caused confusion.


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## FreeThinker (Oct 30, 2007)

ripley said:


> I like to say "Godzilla!!!!" as I thunder about the floor, and watch the wicker furniture tremble in fear.



^ A *rip*, roaring, post. :bow:


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## imfree (Oct 30, 2007)

FreeThinker said:


> ^ A *rip*, roaring, post. :bow:



Now y'all got me started! Come in and see this You-Tube video of
what goes on in my mind whenever I think of the name "Godzilla".
This one's too funny to miss!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVKySmZ-nPk


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## Keb (Oct 30, 2007)

Interesting question. I don't think of myself as having ever been thin (I wasn't considered "fat" until I was 7, but I was never tiny, either). 

The actually being fat? The physical sensation? It's what I am, it's what I'm used to. It's no stranger to me than my hearing loss's level of hearing is. Not hearing certain sounds is normal for me, and putting in the hearing aids and hearing every little click and whirr on the computer is strange. If I were to wake up a size 12 tomorrow, I'd probably fall over trying to control a body that wasn't familiar to me. My brain and body compensate for the reality of their situation--my brain reads lips, uses other cues, and rebuilds what people are saying that I would otherwise have missed if I depended just on the hearing signals, and my body's balance, structure, muscles (you should see my calves), and so on have compensated for my weight. 

Some people assume it's like carrying a heavy backpack, or another person, or something like that. It's not. It's all me, and it all came on me gradually as I was growing just like my height and my femine curves and so on. I've gained a little since high school, but I still wear some of the same clothing I did then. When I move, my body moves--usually, but not always, as I expect it to. I'm not the most coordinated person, but there are plenty of skinny people who bump into things or trip over their own feet, too. 

I don't visualize myself as a fat person. When I draw myself, I use pretty much the same proportions as I do for other people I'm drawing. On one level I know I'm fat, but on another level I believe I'm not. It's a confusing dissonance. I tend not to like most pictures of myself because they don't look like the me that's in my head--but I'm still a total ham.

Another strange thing about how I think regarding my fat is that part of me fears the idea of being thinner. If I were thin, would I still be the same person I am now? Would I still have my cute dimples? Would people remember me the way they do? Would I lose intelligence along with the fat and suddenly be unable to speak anything but Valley Girl? Would the men who now ignore me suddenly want me? Would I want them to, if they only reason they liked me was for my body? If I'd been thin all along, would I really have been happier, or would I have screwed up my life far worse? Would I be happier now, the way most of the world thinks I would be, if I were thin? Would I actually be able to find shoes that fit me? Would my skin hang like a drapery? And again...would I still be me?

Oh, and what would I do with all the pretty things I've made for myself at this size if I couldn't wear them anymore? 

But the biggest thing that influences my feelings about it is external. It's a feeling of frustration at the injustice of being outside of society for something that I don't feel I have control over. This is what I am; I didn't ask to be fat. I didn't do anything special to become fat. I am not the lazy, stupid, twinkie-scarfing creature that society expects me to be. I don't even like twinkies! It's true I loathe exercise, because it's been pushed on me so much--but I love dancing and swimming and stage fighting and acting. Just don't call it exercise and I'll play. I'm flexible. My body does sometimes physically get in the way of certain postures a skinny person can adopt, but that's the only thing stopping me.

The world, however, isn't made for me. I've broken chairs. I've broken beds. I don't enjoy it; it's embarrassing, because everyone says "Well, if you would only do x, y, and z, this wouldn't happen." Prove it. It's getting better, but I can't easily buy clothes I like in my size. It's almost impossible to find shoes I like in my size, and losing weight wouldn't fix that--I'd still have basketball player feet. There's -bones- there. I'd rather have smaller feet than weigh less, though then I'd probably fall over more. A better solution would be for shoe stores to actually stock a women's thirteen wide now and again...but apparently I'm the only one with feet that big who doesn't want to wear ugly man shoes, and should therefore be punished by having to pay more, search harder, and cry every time I go to the shoe store.

I don't tend to let my fat stop me from doing things I want to do, but airline travel sucks (as it does for anyone who isn't brain damaged to the point of sheer happiness at everything, and also about 4 feet high weighing 80 pounds), and some amusement rides and so on don't fit me. Chairs tend to want to come with me (they like my hips?) when I stand up. My body does seem to produce more oil than I'd like (I should be a middle eastern country) despite regular washing. I worry about sitting in expensive-looking chairs just in case. Cars aren't always easy for me to get in and out of (Japanese cars are -tiny- and I bump my head even in nice big old American vans). 

But the biggest issue is, of course, the way I think I'm seen by others. I fear things like not being able to get a job because I'm fat (they'll assume I'm lazy or a risk or stupid), never finding the husband I'd like because most men don't like my body type and won't get to know me, the constant predictions of my health suddenly failing just because I'm fat actually coming true. I deal every day with people who love me sighing and going into one speech or another about how they're worried for me, and people oscilating between trying to force feed me ("You have to try this!") and force diet me ("Oh, you don't need any of that,"), which is especially frustrating when they're the same person, like my mother. I can't blame them for worrying--they're told every day how horrible my life must be by the media. They're also fed this fiction that if I only wanted to be thin enough, I would be.

Thing is, my life -isn't- horrible. I have people who love me. I have interests and talents and goals. 90% of the time, my weight isn't something I think about. It's true that I don't think about it positively when I do think about it, because I can only think of a few things it's done for me and I don't see it as beautiful for the most part--but it has yet to ruin my life completely. 

Three things it has done for me, I think: It makes me more empathetic to other people who don't fit the "ideal mold", it's protected me from some potential heartbreak that I'd have faced if I looked like a model, and I'm almost certain it makes me more memorable to other people--I may suck with remembering names, but other people almost always remember who I am.

I think that about sums it up for me. While there's certain to be some overlap, anyone else's experiences and feelings of being fat would be different.

Oh, and on the Godzilla theme...it's one of my nicknames, because my dear brother was trying to get my attention once (see: hearing loss) and I didn't answer him until he shouted out "Godzilla". Under the theory that your name is what you answer to...*stomp stomp stomp ROOOOAAR!*


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## Jes (Oct 30, 2007)

Theresa48 said:


> How does it feel to be fat? For me, sometimes it feels "good" and sometimes it feels "bad." Most of the time, it feels so much a part of who I am I don't think about my fat as good or bad. Much like I don't think about how my eyes feel, or hands feel...until something goes haywire with them. So it is with my fat. As long as I can function without pain being "fat" isn't an issue with me (under 310 pounds seems to be the limit of weight I can carry before my joints hurt, back goes out of whack or I have a difficult time getting up off the floor on my own.) However, that limit is changing the older I get. Do I think about the floor shaking under my weight and loving it? No. Do I look forward to a chair creaking as I sit on it or even worse...breaking? No. Do I want to use my weight to gain the attention of everyone in the room? No. Do I love the feel of my smooth skin? The rolls around my tummy? The sturdiness of my thick legs? Yes. Do I love being touched? Yes. Would I like that skinny or fat? I think so. Do I love sex. Yes...but I think I'd love sex thin or thick. Have I ever been thin? No. Do I wish ever to be thin? No. I like who I am most of the time....not all, but most. I don't like myself most of the time because I am fat. I just like myself. Being a slow learner, it took me many years to learn to like myself. LOL.
> 
> I live in the reality of being fat which at times can lead to embarrassing situations that I've learned to deal with hopefully in a healthy way.
> Those of us who have never been fat, can't imagine what that reality means...the having to be careful of what you sit on, what restaurant you choose to go to because of the seating, the movie theaters you can go to, the plane seats that may or may not "fit" you. I can't really imagine the reality of being thin. I can fantasize about it...how wonderful it might be to walk lightly across a room, to sit gracefully on a couch, etc.
> Somehow...for me...I doubt that the reality would be the same as the fantasy....the grass is greener phenomenon. I will stand down from my soap box now. T


oh theresa welcome, and i loved this post.
i'm beginning to wonder if there's a real difference between fat people who've always been fat (more or less) and so therefore might not see fat as...somehow apart from themselves. Or the reverse. Maybe you have to intentionally gain weight and concentrate on the differences you feel/see in order to conceptualize it the way Dravenhawk is suggesting. 

i mean, i never knew my belly w/o rolls and soft flesh. So it's just my belly. If i knew my belly as taut, then it might be easier for me to think of myself in 2 ways: having a belly and having a fat belly. 

thoughts?


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## Fascinita (Oct 30, 2007)

Jes said:


> i don't know, jon. It's my right to think of my fat body as I choose to think of it.



I'm in this camp. Our bodies, ourselves and all that granola goodness. I don't go around asking potential boyfriends if they enjoy being men, and if it turns them on when they do masculine things. That'd be a little odd, wouldn't it? "Do you love it that you're a guy? Tell me again how much you enjoy cutting your hair short!"

In an intimate relationship, sure, if it's something a bf enjoys in particular. But an entire relationship hinging on my having to "prove" how positive I feel about my fat body as such, or on pointing out my own fat body as a sexual object specifically because of the fat... well that might be a dealbreaker. My body is as it is. There is a person living in that body and inseparable from it. Someone couldn't love me just for my body. I'm convinced that isn't possible.

What's it feel like to be fat? It feels like being me. Sorry if that's not lurid enough. (OK, I'm not really sorry  )


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## Santaclear (Oct 30, 2007)

Godzilla was obviously in very good shape but by today's standards he'd probably be considered obese. Go figure.


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## _msz.lyric (Oct 30, 2007)

LOL uhmm.. the only thing I like about being fat is that my boobs are bigger than my friends.


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## RedVelvet (Oct 30, 2007)

Fascinita said:


> What's it feel like to be fat? It feels like being me. Sorry if that's not lurid enough. (OK, I'm not really sorry  )




ahahhaa..love it.

I find the post bizarre.....

Maybe the intention was about "what you like about being fat"....and I liked that...but then..the stuff about the floor shaking......furniture creaking?

Are women supposed to like that?.......cripes.


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## Aurora (Oct 30, 2007)

This thread is SO interesting to me on so many levels. I love reading everyone's differing thoughts. I'm learning a lot. Thank you all.

I'm going to expand a bit on my earlier posts. Yes, I have always been fat. Yes, I have enjoyed purposeful weight gain since grade school (and I did the pillow-padding and whatnot as well that you commonly hear about), but despite this I sure as hell went through times when I hated it. We are greatly influenced by how others view us. During middle school and early high school I went through periods of time where I wanted to physically cut my fat off my body. Then that would pass and I'd be happy with myself. Then I would diet again. It was a lot of back and forth and very confusing for me. I also went back and forth with the kind of men I liked - one part of me loved the fat guys, the other part said that was wrong and I was supposed to be attracted to society's ideal. Flip flop flip flop.

Then I found the FA/BBW community online. That changed a whole ton of things for me. What? People are *attracted* to me? Really? I couldn't believe it, but through that discovery all those things I experienced when I was young (the purposeful gaining and whatnot) all came together and made sense and I embraced that part of me. I haven't looked back and I've never been more comfortable with myself.

It still took me years to get over those little things. I hated my butt and thighs until last year. I hated my double chin up until this year. I'm just now learning to love the little thigh fat flaps that hang on the inside of the back of my knee. I've come a long way.

I do understand where some of you are coming from though. I may be wrong here but I think what you're trying to say is that you don't let your fat define who you are, and I think that's awesome. 

However, for me I can't help but let my fat define a little bit of who I am because of my modeling and because of the image I've created in myself, and that works for me. I am not ambivilous to my fat - I whole heartedly embrace it. If I hadn't I would probably be at least 100 pounds lighter than I am today, as I was back before I found the community. 

I don't know where I'm going with this. Maybe I've derailed too far. How does it feel to be fat? For me, it feels great. Part of that is due to the love and support I've gotten in return, but a big part is that it is something ingrained in my brain since childhood. I feel comfortable because I found a happy niche. 


As a side note, even with my confidence in myself and my love for being big, there is definitely still some embarrassment stemming from not fitting everywhere and being a perceived burden on people that might have to make special arrangements for me because of my size. I say I don't apologize for my size, but in some instances... well it's hard not to. Still, as I said before, for me the pros outweigh the cons and I deal with them as they come up.

Okay, I think I've said way too much. Carry on.


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## Jes (Oct 30, 2007)

aurora, i think you've done a fantastic job articulating how you relate to your fat. fiscinta has done the same about her fat. and i think there's a distinct difference in those two viewpoints, which was exactly what I wanted to get to by asking my questions. If the way you see things is important to a man, then you're the kind of partner (sexual, life, whatever) he wants to find! It's an important distinction. You probably want to share that part of yourself (communal you--not you specifically) and talk about it and you'd have a good match with a man who did too. Otherwise? Big bore verging on creepy. And for the other person, just plain annoying and frustrating!


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## Fascinita (Oct 30, 2007)

As I got older, I found that I had naturally less desire to explain my fat as "fat" (transgressive fat that offends and that you have to be ashamed of, or that titillates perhaps just because it is also transgressive) to other people--either to apologize for it or to "correct" their view or to try to bring them around to celebrating fat in general, or at least to accept it. 

Bottomline: My natural body is mine to do with as I please, just like anyone else. Fat or not, it's mine to do as I please with. Some will cheer and some will jeer me for trying to live to that ideal, and I am fine with that.

Those are my feelings about this issue that this post has brought up, for some reason, at least for me.

If my livelihood depended on my fat body, there might be complications tacked onto those baseline feelings I explain above, but I'd go down, if I had to, in the end, defending the idea of my body-self as an inseparable whole. I am me. Me happens to be fat. So? You like? Great. Maybe we'll be friends. You no like? Fine if that's how you want it. Meh.

The days of feeling fat-conflicted, fat-ambivalent and fat-fragmented are over for me, thank goodness. Nor do I feel like I have to flaunt it, either. 

OK, so now I shut up, too.


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## Dravenhawk (Oct 30, 2007)

Tracy said:


> In my opinion how you feel has nothing to do with fat but attitude. I found this and would like to share it:
> Attitude by Charles Swindoll
> "The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude in life. Attitude to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. we cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it, and so it is with you. WE ARE IN CHARGE OF OUR ATTITUDES."
> 
> I am a tall and large lady and love that I am blessed with a bigger body. My fat does not hold me back.



Tracy I am going to quote ya here cuz what you have said here needs to be said again. Attitude is where it is at. My ex-wife had a whole dialog of self talk. "I am discusting" or "I'm deformed" or "I'm gross" along with so much other negitive self talk. It wears on you after a while. The attitude of your significant other can certianaly rub off on you. Believe me I have been there. I used to dream up stories of how it may be like if it were different and my ex-wife was not so down on herself. Yes I would salt this dream with FA goodies. I figured I would sit down and write this down on the day she served me the divorce papers and hatched the story "The Girl Next Door". Over 4200 pepole have viewed it I am sure some have read it more than once. 
Yes Tracy it is ATTITUDE that makes it all happen. If you take the crap that life throws at you with a negitive attitude it will most certianally STINK. How ever if you take the crap life throws at you with a positive attitude it is good fertilizer for growing a fine garden. The choice is up to each of us as to what kind of attitude we will dress ourselves with for the day. Some times I have to work on mine when life gets really crappy like when I was in a traffic jam last night. A lady cut me off and I found myself hating this person and turned my brights on to "show em". I realized we are all in the same rats nest and having a bad attitude toward a rude driver didn't make the traffic go any faster. In fact having this negitive attitude only made the traffic jam experiance more aggrovating. It was only through changing my attitude on the rude driver and standing down by turning off my hi-beams that the traffic jam became bearable. I had a good laugh at myself and the whole mess. Life is good

Dravenhawk


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## _msz.lyric (Oct 31, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> ahahhaa..love it.
> 
> I find the post bizarre.....
> 
> ...



I sure as hell don't like it. I don't really experience it, and I would die if I did.


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## RedVelvet (Oct 31, 2007)

_msz.lyric said:


> I sure as hell don't like it. I don't really experience it, and I would die if I did.



Really...I mean.....I rather delight in my fat, but its all about curves and femininity......softness and silkiness....

The Stompy stompy, creaky creaky, out of breath, getting stuck thing? Thats someone else's fetish.....and disturbing to me.


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## _msz.lyric (Oct 31, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Really...I mean.....I rather delight in my fat, but its all about curves and femininity......softness and silkiness....
> 
> The Stompy stompy, creaky creaky, out of breath, getting stuck thing? Thats someone else's fetish.....and disturbing to me.



Yeah, I'm not really into fetishes. I mean I like being admired.. but not to the point where someone wants me to squish them or force feed me and all that. I wanna be accepted as I am, and I don't want to be liked just because I'm a BBW. Know what I mean?

But there are some days I do like being one. Like I like the way I can feel out my top for one. And my jeans.. but I'm not going to eat and eat and eat to see if I can bust the seams. LOL


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## Baby Apple (Oct 31, 2007)

I've read everyone’s post on this subject and really was thinking about myself, how I feel. 

I've been both very thin and now very fat and have struggled in between to lose only to gain it back. My mother was someone who constantly harped on us girls to be thin, not snack and focused so much on thinness and weight. When I was in high school I got too thin and was heading toward anorexia. I snapped out of it but still made sure I exercised to keep myself thin. I liked being thin and worked hard at it but in hindsight I didn't grow inside I stayed stagnant. It was hard thing for me to be "normal" when thin (looking back). I always afraid of messing up or getting out of control and I never really saw myself in my true physical form. I always saw myself heavier than I was when I was thin. And now I don't realize how big I am till I actually see pictures of myself. As one of the other posters said, I don't like seeing picture of myself however I am working on changing those feelings. My very soon to be husband who is a thin guy tells me all the time how beautiful I am. It's finally sinking in  I know though he isn't just talking physically. 

Even though being thin was physically easier, being fat is a natural occurrence in my body what else can I do but accept it? It's who I am. Since weight was such an issue growing up, It has taken a long time for me to accept that and I still have some things to overcome, but I've come a long way, from, being a person trying please someone else for who THEY want me to be, to being pleased by whom I've become.

Baby Apple


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## Aurora (Oct 31, 2007)

_msz.lyric said:


> And my jeans.. but I'm not going to eat and eat and eat to see if I can bust the seams. LOL



It's certainly not for everyone, but for those of us who are into it it's quite fun and thrilling!


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## RedVelvet (Oct 31, 2007)

Aurora said:


> It's certainly not for everyone, but for those of us who are into it it's quite fun and thrilling!



Thats interesting. 

To me, its like someone saying.."I know YOU don't like lighting your hair on fire....but for some of us, its very exciting!!"...

I mean....its so FAR from the realm of my being able to empathize I cant even pretend to understand.


Now......I like plenty of stuff sexually that a lot of people would find completely baffling....so....I get it from that angle...

Diversity of expression in humans is endlessly fascinating to me.


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## Aurora (Oct 31, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Diversity of expression in humans is endlessly fascinating to me.



As my mother always told me, it takes all kinds to make the world.  But I agree with you. Without the diversity life would be so boring!


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## _msz.lyric (Oct 31, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Thats interesting.
> 
> To me, its like someone saying.."I know YOU don't like lighting your hair on fire....but for some of us, its very exciting!!"...
> 
> ...



You're definitely right. As long as its made clear to guys about me that my weight is secondary. I want to be liked for my personality and such.


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## RedVelvet (Oct 31, 2007)

_msz.lyric said:


> You're definitely right. As long as its made clear to guys about me that my weight is secondary. I want to be liked for my personality and such.




Oh, not me. I want to be wanted for my body.


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## _msz.lyric (Oct 31, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Oh, not me. I want to be wanted for my body.



LOL 

That's cool. My body's not that great though.


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## RedVelvet (Oct 31, 2007)

_msz.lyric said:


> LOL
> 
> That's cool. My body's not that great though.




Oh..who am I kidding..I want it all. I know my worth and my attractiveness and only someone who sees it all as well will do.

I hope you come to like your body better in the future, sweets.


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## _msz.lyric (Oct 31, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Oh..who am I kidding..I want it all. I know my worth and my attractiveness and only someone who sees it all as well will do.
> 
> I hope you come to like your body better in the future, sweets.



Thanks. Its a work in progress for me. I was a lot worse a year ago. LOL

But I want it all too damnit! HA.


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## Waxwing (Nov 1, 2007)

This is one of the best threads I've read in a long time.

Jes, your comment about one's fat being more or less of an entity depending on whether or not you've always been fat is a good one. 

I have been both very thin and fat, then thin, then fat, etc....but I was not fat as a very little child. So when I am on the heavier end of the spectrum, I very much feel every ounce of it, and it does become its own entity. It isn't just "me", it's this thing that lives around me. In many ways that's an unhealthy way to think of it and something that clearly is reflected in my years of struggle with my body no matter what its size. 

If I had not gone to such extremes of the spectrum over and over again, I would perhaps be able to view my body as a more integrated thing, and not view my body as this other person I have to deal with.


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## RedVelvet (Nov 1, 2007)

_msz.lyric said:


> But I want it all too damnit! HA.



I find not settling, ever, helps. If you don't waste your times on the "almost, but not quite" types.....you have a better chance of meeting someone who considers you their ideal.

Or maybe I am just lucky as hell.


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## Surlysomething (Nov 3, 2007)

Tonight, I don't feel good about it.

I feel unattractive, bulky and very non-sexy.


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## Jon Blaze (Nov 3, 2007)

Surlysomething said:


> Tonight, I don't feel good about it.
> 
> I feel unattractive, bulky and very non-sexy.



We all have those days where our bodies don't perform or look the way we wish. I'm in the same boat because I can't do martial arts until I get my knees and feet checked: I'm pissed. 

I think what's important is knowing those days will come, but they shouldn't make you who you are. Good times will come and go.

I personally think you're cute by the way. Love the hair, and the face.  I haven't seen your body, but I'm sure it is nice. It will be nice to someone after all you know. :batting:
</Comment not needed> 
Anyway... I hope things better.


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## Surlysomething (Nov 3, 2007)

Jon Blaze said:


> I personally think you're cute by the way. Love the hair, and the face.  I haven't seen your body, but I'm sure it is nice. It will be nice to someone after all you know. :batting:
> </Comment not needed>
> Anyway... I hope things better.




Thanks so much.

:blush:


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## Lamia (Nov 4, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> This is one of the best threads I've read in a long time.
> 
> Jes, your comment about one's fat being more or less of an entity depending on whether or not you've always been fat is a good one.
> 
> ...




That is a great post! I agree I think to someone who hasn't been fat all their life getting fat would feel very uncomfortable and your body would feel alien to you. Much like women go through everytime they're pregnant. This tiny woman at work is pregnant for the first time and she keeps talking about how she keeps ramming her stomach into the things. She has no depth perception and needs to get used to how her new little belly fits into her environment. 

I've been fat my whole life and I always know when I am starting to put on weight because I start feeling knocked out of my groove. In a way feel naked or exposed. At the same time when I feel thin my fiance tells me I am putting on the weight, which he likes. When I feel fat he tells me I look like I am losing weight. It's confusing as hell. :doh:


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## CAMellie (Nov 4, 2007)

Lamia said:


> That is a great post! I agree I think to someone who hasn't been fat all their life getting fat would feel very uncomfortable and your body would feel alien to you. Much like women go through everytime they're pregnant. This tiny woman at work is pregnant for the first time and she keeps talking about how she keeps ramming her stomach into the things. She has no depth perception and needs to get used to how her new little belly fits into her environment.
> 
> I've been fat my whole life and I always know when I am starting to put on weight because I start feeling knocked out of my groove. In a way feel naked or exposed. At the same time when I feel thin my fiance tells me I am putting on the weight, which he likes. When I feel fat he tells me I look like I am losing weight. It's confusing as hell. :doh:




***interrupts the thread for a moment***


AMAZON QUEEN!!!

***end of interruption***


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## _msz.lyric (Nov 4, 2007)

Today I feel like a whale more than usual. I don't even want to be seen today... so I'll probably be here in the house all day.


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## Theresa48 (Nov 4, 2007)

_msz.lyric said:


> Today I feel like a whale more than usual. I don't even want to be seen today... so I'll probably be here in the house all day.



No disrespect intended, but are you aware that whales are built to slice through the ocean with grace and ease? They can do back flips out of the water that fascinate man. Some are capable of singing intricate, beautiful songs. Most are social and very faithful to their families?

I think many fat people are very much like the whales I described above....beautiful, able to function nicely in our world even though our
world does not easily accommodate them (us.) 

Everyone...big and small has bad days when we feel like staying in and hiding from the world. Hope yours gets better.


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## CAMellie (Nov 4, 2007)

Theresa48 said:


> No disrespect intended, but are you aware that whales are built to slice through the ocean with grace and ease? They can do back flips out of the water that fascinate man. Some are capable of singing intricate, beautiful songs. Most are social and very faithful to their families?
> 
> I think many fat people are very much like the whales I described above....beautiful, able to function nicely in our world even though our
> world does not easily accommodate them (us.)
> ...




*chokes on my plankton* :blink:


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## _msz.lyric (Nov 4, 2007)

CAMellie said:


> *chokes on my plankton* :blink:



*Gives Mellie the Heimlich*


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## Jes (Nov 4, 2007)

Lamia said:


> she keeps talking about how she keeps ramming her stomach into the things. She has no depth perception and needs to get used to how her new little belly fits into her environment.
> 
> :


yes yes yes! I suspect that a lot of people who are sexually excited by fat adore these moments and want fat people to have them all the time, and I think very few of us do. It may not be exciting, but it's the real answer for a lot of us. 

Your fat mileage may vary, of course. Just a serving suggestion. Contents in cup are hot.


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## Lamia (Nov 4, 2007)

CAMellie said:


> ***interrupts the thread for a moment***
> 
> 
> AMAZON QUEEN!!!
> ...



WARRIOR WOMAN!!!!


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 4, 2007)

_msz.lyric said:


> LOL uhmm.. the only thing I like about being fat is that my boobs are bigger than my friends.



If your arse is bigger, that's a good thing, too. At least here it is


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## luvbigfellas (May 2, 2011)

From the other side...I've always been generally "average" sized or smaller. And honestly, I never really accepted my body the way it is until college. Because even when you're "average" sized, people still say you need to be skinnier. Then I figured out something. I liked my body just the way it was, dammit. Screw them.

My freaking DOCTOR told me I needed to lose weight. She went merely on numbers alone. But, if you know ANYTHING about my body structure, I'm high on muscle and bones. (And also, I'm an insulin dependent diabetic. Of course I'm probably not going to be at what that stupid BMI says I should be.)

I wouldn't know the pain of another person without being that person. And I imagine any pain I've experienced related to this particular topic is nothing compared to others'. But, I just thought I'd give another side.


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## Paquito (May 3, 2011)

luvbigfellas said:


> From the other side...I've always been generally "average" sized or smaller. And honestly, I never really accepted my body the way it is until college. Because even when you're "average" sized, people still say you need to be skinnier. Then I figured out something. I liked my body just the way it was, dammit. Screw them.
> 
> My freaking DOCTOR told me I needed to lose weight. She went merely on numbers alone. But, if you know ANYTHING about my body structure, I'm high on muscle and bones. (And also, I'm an insulin dependent diabetic. Of course I'm probably not going to be at what that stupid BMI says I should be.)
> 
> I wouldn't know the pain of another person without being that person. And I imagine any pain I've experienced related to this particular topic is nothing compared to others'. But, I just thought I'd give another side.



psst. pssssssssssst.
This thread is like 3 and a half years old.
*slinks away*


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## mel (May 3, 2011)

squishy.


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## CastingPearls (May 3, 2011)

Paquito said:


> *slinks away*




Yeah.

As if you could slink, Tubby.


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## Paquito (May 3, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> Yeah.
> 
> As if you could slink, Tubby.



*rolls away*


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 7, 2011)

post pix o rollen plz kthxbye


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## CleverBomb (May 7, 2011)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> post pix o rollen plz kthxbye


No! If they see him rollin, they hatin'

-Rusty
Too much hate these days anyhow.


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## EMH1701 (May 7, 2011)

Considering that since I was a teenager, I've pretty much always been fat, or at least plump, it feels quite normal to me. 

/shrug

How does it feel to not be fat?


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## Fleur (Nov 30, 2016)

Amazing! I do truly love being fat. I love the way my belly jiggles. :smitten: 
It makes me feel...Cuddly, feminine, full of curves (I adore in particular my soft belly, huge breasts and super curvy hips!) sensual, sexy. I think I'm very blessed!


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## AmyJo1976 (Nov 30, 2016)

BigCutieFleur said:


> Amazing! I do truly love being fat. I love the way my belly jiggles. :smitten:
> It makes me feel...Cuddly, feminine, full of curves (I adore in particular my soft belly, huge breasts and super curvy hips!) sensual, sexy. I think I'm very blessed!


I totally agree with everything you just said, it's amazing!


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## landshark (Nov 30, 2016)

BigCutieFleur said:


> Amazing! I do truly love being fat. I love the way my belly jiggles. :smitten:
> It makes me feel...Cuddly, feminine, full of curves (I adore in particular my soft belly, huge breasts and super curvy hips!) sensual, sexy. I think I'm very blessed!





AmyJo1976 said:


> I totally agree with everything you just said, it's amazing!



Ladies, you have no idea how desperately I wish my wife felt this way about herself! She's incredible and just doesn't see it!


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## AmyJo1976 (Nov 30, 2016)

happily_married said:


> Ladies, you have no idea how desperately I wish my wife felt this way about herself! She's incredible and just doesn't see it!


You have to get her to the state of mind where she finds herself attractive. It's all about self acceptance. I'm not sure how you could help her achieve that aside from being a supportive partner and telling her how you feel about her. It was something I had to figure out myself.


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## fuelingfire (Dec 1, 2016)

happily_married said:


> Ladies, you have no idea how desperately I wish my wife felt this way about herself! She's incredible and just doesn't see it!



It is the biggest frustration.


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## landshark (Dec 1, 2016)

AmyJo1976 said:


> You have to get her to the state of mind where she finds herself attractive. It's all about self acceptance. I'm not sure how you could help her achieve that aside from being a supportive partner and telling her how you feel about her. *It was something I had to figure out myself.*



Nailed it. No amount of convincing from me will do it; she has to decide on her own to live herself the way she is or make the changes she needs to make to get there. I can support (and I do) but I can't change her mind for her.



fuelingfire said:


> It is the biggest frustration.



So true. Not as much as it used to be. The longer we're together the more we learn about each other and how important it is to respect the other's preferences. For her this means she doesn't openly self loathe in front of me anymore. Granted sometimes she just needs to vent and I'll listen when this happens. She has also warmed up to my preference for her weight whereas she used to be hostile to it. So definite improvements.


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## AmyJo1976 (Dec 1, 2016)

happily_married said:


> Nailed it. No amount of convincing from me will do it; she has to decide on her own to live herself the way she is or make the changes she needs to make to get there. I can support (and I do) but I can't change her mind for her. QUOTE]
> Does she know about this community? If not maybe you should introduce her to it. It may or may not help the situation. I will leave that for you to decide. Just a thought


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## landshark (Dec 1, 2016)

AmyJo1976 said:


> Does she know about this community? If not maybe you should introduce her to it. It may or may not help the situation. I will leave that for you to decide. Just a thought



I actually showed her a while back. She felt it was better for me than her because at the time she felt my admiration for her body was actually annoying to her, but she understood why I wanted to be a part of a community where it would be appreciated. We've made some serious progress in this area since then so maybe reintroducing this community to her wouldn't be a bad idea. Another idea I floated toward her was having the two of us sketched together (nude, in a nice embrace, that sort of thing). I honestly don't think she took me seriously at first but wasn't opposed to the idea. I think if she saw her body as "art" (the way I do) she'd maybe have a more loving self image.

It really is better now than a few years ago. She may never reach a point where she's as comfortable with herself as some of the ladies of Dims are with their bodies, but she really has come a long way. Still, I think every person should be able to look in the mirror and love what they see and it's a little sad when someone doesn't.


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## AmyJo1976 (Dec 1, 2016)

happily_married said:


> I actually showed her a while back. She felt it was better for me than her because at the time she felt my admiration for her body was actually annoying to her, but she understood why I wanted to be a part of a community where it would be appreciated. We've made some serious progress in this area since then so maybe reintroducing this community to her wouldn't be a bad idea. Another idea I floated toward her was having the two of us sketched together (nude, in a nice embrace, that sort of thing). I honestly don't think she took me seriously at first but wasn't opposed to the idea. I think if she saw her body as "art" (the way I do) she'd maybe have a more loving self image.
> 
> It really is better now than a few years ago. She may never reach a point where she's as comfortable with herself as some of the ladies of Dims are with their bodies, but she really has come a long way. Still, I think every person should be able to look in the mirror and love what they see and it's a little sad when someone doesn't.


Don't be sad, keep working on it, she'll get there. Don't ever give up on achieving total happiness


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## TwoSwords (Feb 12, 2017)

Dravenhawk said:


> I am asking this question to gather some ballanced prespective about what it feels like to be fat. Being a skinny guy there is alot I take for granted. Having spent some considerable time with BBWs of a variety of sizes, I have observed most of the ladies of size I have encountered wishing they were thin. It wasn't until I stumbled upon Dimensions that I discovered there was a whole other side to being heavy.
> As an FA I have some insights on how people of size fit in a world that is too small. On one side I have the ideal view. Size conveying sexual power, the thrill of the floor shaking under a heavy persons footsteps of the chair groaning in protest of the weight load placed upon it. Every big person I have met except for two, try to hide from thier size trying not to get noticed. How do you feel when you shake the floor under your footsteps? How does it feel when something breaks under your weight? How does it feel to be two, three, maybe even four times your partners size / weight? I have heard alot about how bad being big makes one feel. I am interested in what about being big makes you feel good about yourself as well.
> 
> Dravenhawk



I'm both an FA and a BHM, and have embraced the latter *because of* the former (as well as due to some bad experiences with early romantic relationships.) I needed someone whose softness I could love and appreciate, and who would never, ever try to make me feel bad for feeling how I feel, and that someone is now me. I don't get cold as often, and I feel warm and soft all over, and more confident in speaking my mind around others. I also like to play around with stomping, shaking and moving slowly on purpose, because I think it's fun. Lots of fun. I've only had two things break under my weight, but one of them was very, very old, and the other was a piece of garbage office chair, with no extra support to keep the back attached to the seat, so I'm afraid I can't take credit for either of those. In my times of greatest stress, all I have to do is reach one hand over and squeeze my soft, squishy, upper arm, and just keep it up for a few seconds. Every time I do this, my smile returns and I feel relaxed and relieved. Squeezing my tummy works too, but why swat a fly with a copy of "War and Peace," when a magazine will do?


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