# who do you want to slap in the face with a mackerel?



## ripley (Sep 18, 2007)

who do you want to slap in the face with a mackerel? After the clique brouhaha in the "who do you want to know better" thread, I'd thought I'd just cut through the bull, and put it on front street!


So...who do ya?


I'll pick....Santaclear! hahahaha


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## BigBawdyDame (Sep 18, 2007)

All the employers who won't interview me!


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## ripley (Sep 18, 2007)

Has to be someone from Dims, BBD! 



But I'll cross my fingers for an interview.


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## ScreamingChicken (Sep 18, 2007)

Myself. I am completely dense.:doh:


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## Jack Skellington (Sep 18, 2007)

Who don't I want to whack in the face with a mackerel!? It's like a dream come true to be able smack anyone and everyone around with a huge dead fish.


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## FreeThinker (Sep 18, 2007)

Y'know, the ol' slap-in-the-face-with-a-fish is something I find a bit overrated. 

I did this to my brother once, not with a mackerel, but a pickerel (that's "walleye" to you Yankees out there), when I was 7 and he was 5. We were walking back from the lake to our campsite.

I guess I had been expecting some kind of "splat" or "boing" sound like in the cartoons, but it just sounded like slapping someone on the face with a hand.

He looked so surprised and hurt by this when he exclaimed "Why'd you do that?"

I felt like such a bad brother.

"Shut up," I said, unable to deal with this in a mature manner.



uhhh...



Sorry for the downer, Rip.


(*Edit:* That's what you get when you say you'd like to know more about me)


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## ripley (Sep 18, 2007)

You all suck. I will need many mackerel.


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## Buffie (Sep 18, 2007)

I want to slap Chris / kr7 with a mackerel, but only because I have a hunch she's kinky like that.

Whaaa ha ha haaaaaa!!! 

(It's a weird mood tonight. Came outta nowhere.)


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## mossystate (Sep 18, 2007)

The person I have in mind?..I would not want to insult the mackerel.


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## Surlysomething (Sep 18, 2007)

It sure wouldn't be a mackeral i'd be using to smack this person.


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## mango (Sep 18, 2007)

*I only want to smack Ripley with a mackerel... and that's only because she begged for it!!  


 *


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## mossystate (Sep 18, 2007)

Oooooo..this thread could get goooood...* rubs hands together *..


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## Spanky (Sep 18, 2007)

Did someone say a smackerel??

Sorry. Mossy. Cleaned it up.


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## Jack Skellington (Sep 18, 2007)

FreeThinker said:


> Sorry for the downer



You're just like totally bringing me down and some junk.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Sep 18, 2007)

Must....................fight.................urge to................make.........................list!!


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## mossystate (Sep 18, 2007)

Ohhhhhhh...wait...Rippy was just offering her facesitting services..sorry...carry on!



this post made possible by the Moniquehasacoldandhashad7hoursofsleepinthelasttwodays Foundation


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## mossystate (Sep 18, 2007)

Spanky said:


> Did someone say a smackerel??
> 
> Sorry. Mossy. Cleaned it up.



I would have to find a Spankerel for you.


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## Jack Skellington (Sep 18, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Ohhhhhhh...wait...Rippy was just offering her facesitting services..sorry...carry on!



Wha? I'm like confused and stuff now.


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## ripley (Sep 18, 2007)

Jack Skellington said:


> Wha? I'm like confused and stuff now.



Me, too!!!! :huh:




ETA: I get it now...and man, I knew I'd suffer for that Godzilla joke....


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## Jack Skellington (Sep 18, 2007)

ripley said:


> ETA: I get it now...and man, I knew I'd suffer for that Godzilla joke....



I still don't get it and I'm cool with that.


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## Spanky (Sep 18, 2007)

FreeThinker said:


> I did this to my brother once, not with a mackerel, but a pickerel (that's "walleye" to you Yankees out there), when I was 7 and he was 5.



Any Reb worth his weight in catfish would know that a pickerel is a pike and a walleye is a....well a walleye. 

Reason #265 for not being in the "clique": Insulting members of the "yellow can club"


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## Jack Skellington (Sep 18, 2007)

Spanky said:


> Reason #265 for not being in the "clique": Insulting members of the "yellow can club"



Cliques are for pussies. I have minions.


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## ripley (Sep 18, 2007)

Jack Skellington said:


> Cliques are for pussies. I have minions.



You're almost getting the joke, Jack.


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## Jack Skellington (Sep 18, 2007)

ripley said:


> You're almost getting the joke, Jack.



Ahhhhh! Okay, I get it now. Nevermind.


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## Spanky (Sep 18, 2007)

ripley said:


> You're almost getting the joke, Jack.



And if he misses it by a tiny bit, this thread will be overrun with cute kittens in hats by morning.


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## ripley (Sep 18, 2007)

It's DOGS in hats!!


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## Spanky (Sep 18, 2007)

ripley said:


> It's DOGS in hats!!



Reason #755 for not being in the clique: Pissing off Ripley for any reason.


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## Jack Skellington (Sep 18, 2007)

Spanky said:


> And if he misses it by a tiny bit, this thread will be overrun with cute kittens in hats by morning.



Don't think I won't do it! Don't push me, man! Cause I'll do it!! Kittens and nerdiness as far as the eye can see. 

Bahawhahahahahah!!! _Hack, wheeze.._I really gotta work on my evil laugh.


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## ripley (Sep 18, 2007)

Spanky said:


> Reason #755 for not being in the clique: Pissing off Ripley for any reason.



Not pissed at all.  Just having a little fun with ya. I don't have a clique, will you be in one with me? I'll bring cupcakes.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Sep 18, 2007)

WOOF!


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## mossystate (Sep 18, 2007)

Ripley...start another thread..pretty please??!!??:kiss2: :kiss2:


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## Jack Skellington (Sep 18, 2007)

This thread is just *begging* for the Wilford Brimley Diabeetus Dance Mix.


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## Spanky (Sep 18, 2007)

ripley said:


> Not pissed at all.  Just having a little fun with ya. I don't have a clique, will you be in one with me? I'll bring cupcakes.



Oh, I know. Just funnin' with ya. Best clique offer evah, Rip! Ones offered me so far....

1. XFL Fans Clique
2. Mutton Chops Clique
3. Scapple Lovers Clique
4. Lyndon LaRouche Clique

and of course.....

5. Jes' Clique. 

Well, actually not, I just pretended she wanted me in her clique to be more popular.


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## ripley (Sep 18, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Ripley...start another thread..pretty please??!!??:kiss2: :kiss2:





I just wanna know, if you thought that was what this thread was _really_ about, why did you run right here, hmmm?


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## mossystate (Sep 18, 2007)

Spanky said:


> 4. Lyndon LaRouche Clique



Fact..Looney Lyndon begged my dad to be his running mate, during one of his sparkling bids for the presidency. My dad blinked..and ran....away.


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## mossystate (Sep 18, 2007)

ripley said:


> I just wanna know, if you thought that was what this thread was _really_ about, why did you run right here, hmmm?



I wanted to see the caliber of manhood that might come knocking at your door. Isn't it obvious by now that I am easily amused?


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## ripley (Sep 18, 2007)

Spanky said:


> Oh, I know. Just funnin' with ya. Best clique offer evah, Rip! Ones offered me so far....
> 
> 1. XFL Fans Clique
> 2. Mutton Chops Clique
> ...



It is SO on. 


Sprinkles or jimmies?


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## Spanky (Sep 18, 2007)

ripley said:


> It is SO on.
> 
> 
> Sprinkles or jimmies?



Jimmies, babe. :bow:


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## Spanky (Sep 18, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Fact..Looney Lyndon begged my dad to be his running mate, during one of his sparkling bids for the presidency. My dad blinked..and ran....away.



Chelsey?? Is that you??


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## ripley (Sep 18, 2007)

Spanky said:


> Jimmies, babe. :bow:



Okay, now I have to necro-post to the crush thread....:wubu:


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## mossystate (Sep 18, 2007)

Spanky said:


> Chelsey?? Is that you??



wooosh..right over my head...


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## Wagimawr (Sep 18, 2007)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsfiD78Cy0s


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## Jack Skellington (Sep 18, 2007)

mossystate said:


> wooosh..right over my head...



Don't feel bad Mossy, pretty much everything goes over my head. Eh, you get used to it.


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## Spanky (Sep 18, 2007)

mossystate said:


> wooosh..right over my head...



Clinton. 

Sorry, 'tis late. My aim is a bit off. You could knock me over with a mackerel.....


...to the face.


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## Jack Skellington (Sep 18, 2007)

Wagimawr said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsfiD78Cy0s



Ah, yes. Now that's a classic. Thank you for posting it.


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## Wagimawr (Sep 18, 2007)

Surprised it took so long for somebody to.


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## mossystate (Sep 18, 2007)

Spanky said:


> Clinton.
> 
> Sorry, 'tis late. My aim is a bit off. You could knock me over with a mackerel.....
> 
> ...



one spankerel...comin up...


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## Jack Skellington (Sep 18, 2007)

Wagimawr said:


> Surprised it took so long for somebody to.



I'm ashamed to admit, it had actually slipped my mind until your post reminded me of it. :doh:


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## Wagimawr (Sep 18, 2007)

Slapping somebody in the face with a type of fish and you didn't come to that conclusion?

_Shame, indeed._


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## TraciJo67 (Sep 18, 2007)

I CALL BULLSH*T ON THIS THREAD. Screw all you people and your mackeral slapping clique. I don't see my name here and that really ... uh ... hurts my ... feelings?


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## CrankySpice (Sep 18, 2007)

........................................
View attachment mackerel.jpg


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## Jes (Sep 18, 2007)

Spanky said:


> Oh, I know. Just funnin' with ya. Best clique offer evah, Rip! Ones offered me so far....
> 
> 1. XFL Fans Clique
> 2. Mutton Chops Clique
> ...


My clique is currently housed in my pants. 

For what it's worth.

Now, onto the fish smacking. I want to smack one particular circus whiner!


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## ripley (Sep 18, 2007)

CrankySpice said:


> ........................................
> View attachment 27463



I love you.


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## Fuzzy (Sep 18, 2007)

Mmmmm.... Mackerel in tomato sauce... :eat2:


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## BigBeautifulMe (Sep 18, 2007)

A certain man. Um, hello, I've been talking to you for months now...I've invited you to visit, now that I'm single again...and you're dragging your feet?

*Shakes head*

This offer is one-time only. Take me up on it - or give me up. Quit saying you're going to visit - and then not coming. Quit getting my hopes up. Quit flaking out on me. I don't date cereal. 

I won't be on the BBW market for long. I am, as they say, hot schtuff. So get it while it's...erm...hot.  

And by the way - I don't do mackerel. I prefer...HERRING!


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## ripley (Sep 18, 2007)

<slaps BBMe with a herring...AND a mackerel!>


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## Fuzzy (Sep 18, 2007)

Gadzooks, Rip.. have you actually seen the aurora like on that website? :huh:


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## BigBeautifulMe (Sep 18, 2007)

Yeah...I deserved that. :doh:


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## ripley (Sep 18, 2007)

Fuzzy said:


> Gadzooks, Rip.. have you actually seen the aurora like on that website? :huh:



Yes.

Now get to mackerel slapping, or get out of here!


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## Santaclear (Sep 19, 2007)

ripley said:


> who do you want to slap in the face with a mackerel?
> ...I'd thought I'd just cut through the bull, and put it on front street!
> So...who do ya?
> I'll pick....Santaclear! hahahaha



You seem to have dropped your mackerel, Ma'am. 

View attachment wholly mackerel.jpg


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## Santaclear (Sep 19, 2007)

I'm gonna clobber somebody with a canned ham.


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## mossystate (Sep 19, 2007)

Ripley!!!!!

Get In Here...santa Is Bringing Pork Products Into Your Thread...make Him Stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## ripley (Sep 19, 2007)

His fish has big teeth, too. I'm scared. Hold me.


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## Santaclear (Sep 19, 2007)

ripley said:


> His fish has big teeth, too. I'm scared. Hold me.



Those are crowns, Rip. They cost a lot.


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## jack (Sep 19, 2007)

FreeThinker said:


> ...pickerel (that's "walleye" to you Yankees out there)...



I am in no way whatsoever a "Yankee." I was born a few hours from Mexico. I have never heard of a "Pickerel." I have heard of a walleye.

Just sayin' is all.

And to answer the question: Fatlane. But only because I _totally_ have a crush on him.


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## ripley (Sep 19, 2007)

Santaclear said:


> Those are crowns, Rip. They cost a lot.



You rich fish won't let me in your clique, will you?


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## Ample Pie (Sep 19, 2007)

nexon, frozen mackerel


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## stan_der_man (Sep 19, 2007)

If I was going to wack someone with a fish, it would probably be salmon or rainbow trout, gutted and cleaned of course.


That's just the kind of person that I am.


fish_man_stan


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## Santaclear (Sep 19, 2007)

When mackerel slap won't do (or is too wack), give the gift of Whale. 

View attachment Whale7 (2).jpg


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## CrankySpice (Sep 19, 2007)

I. just....wow. (regarding the above photo)


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## qwertyman173 (Sep 19, 2007)

Ugh!!! Is that the one where it was beached, but all the gases built up inside it until it popped? I thought that was just an urban myth!

Imagine if that was outside your house?!?!?



But I think the neighbourhood cats had a good time  :eat2:


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## qwertyman173 (Sep 19, 2007)

Retaliation for fish slapping!  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMKCLyhBBwI


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## Jes (Sep 19, 2007)

Spanky said:


> Clinton.
> 
> Sorry, 'tis late. My aim is a bit off. You could knock me over with a mackerel.....
> 
> ...



harrumph.
.


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## OfftoOtherPlaces (Sep 19, 2007)

Wait, we could just eat the mackerel!

GET IT?? Because... because of our "weight" theme?


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## Blackjack_Jeeves (Sep 19, 2007)

Regarding the explosive whale, Dave Barry once wrote a series of articles on "Spontaneous Combustion." One of them included the story of a beached whale being blown up by dynamite, for it was too big to move, and was already dead. Or something along those lines... Wierd what random stories will emerge just by a simple (yet gruesome) picture.


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## Jes (Sep 19, 2007)

Say Hello to the Angels said:


> Wait, we could just eat the mackerel!
> 
> GET IT?? Because... because of our "weight" theme?



Is it a Little Debbie Mackerel? 

No? 

THEN I"M NOT INTERESTED.


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## stan_der_man (Sep 19, 2007)

Santaclear said:


> When mackerel slap won't do (or is too wack), give the gift of Whale.



I look at that picture and pitty the poor sod that will have to ride home on that scooter.


fa_man_stan


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## kr7 (Sep 19, 2007)

To Whom It May Concern,

I wish to object, in the strongest of terms, to this thread. As a vegetarian and an animal rights supporter, I abhor the promotion of violence towards fish. I shall, therefore, request that all future slapping be performed with an imitation fish, under the supervision of a committee formed for the sole purpose of the observation of proper protocol during fish-slapping activities.

Yours, etc.
Chris Fishmonger (deceased)


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## kr7 (Sep 19, 2007)

Buffie said:


> I want to slap Chris / kr7 with a mackerel.....



Oh no, you di'n't!!! Oh, it is ON!

Chris


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## sweetnnekked (Sep 19, 2007)

FreeThinker said:


> Y'know, the ol' slap-in-the-face-with-a-fish is something I find a bit overrated.
> 
> I did this to my brother once, not with a mackerel, but a pickerel (that's "walleye" to you Yankees out there), when I was 7 and he was 5. We were walking back from the lake to our campsite.
> 
> ...



Some of us Yankees call pikes pickerels, Rebel.
And for that comment, I'd like to slap you in the face with one! I'm sure your brother would be quite amused!!


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## Buffie (Sep 19, 2007)

kr7 said:


> Oh no, you di'n't!!! Oh, it is ON!
> 
> Chris



Oh yes I did! And I'd do it again if I hadn't spent all my money the first time! If it's on like Donkey Kong, you better bring it cuz mine'z already been brought-en.


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## kr7 (Sep 19, 2007)

Buffie said:


> Oh yes I did! And I'd do it again if I hadn't spent all my money the first time! If it's on like Donkey Kong, you better bring it cuz mine'z already been brought-en.



Sorry Buffie, I run out of slang.  I guess there is only one thing to do. Mud-wrestling!!! :bounce: 

Chris


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## ripley (Sep 19, 2007)

This is what I envisioned when I made this thread...fish slapping bringing people together. 



*wipes a tear*


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## stan_der_man (Sep 19, 2007)

kr7 said:


> To Whom It May Concern,
> 
> I wish to object, in the strongest of terms, to this thread. As a vegetarian and an animal rights supporter, I abhor the promotion of violence towards fish. I shall, therefore, request that all future slapping be performed with an imitation fish, under the supervision of a committee formed for the sole purpose of the observation of proper protocol during fish-slapping activities.
> 
> ...



Exqueeze me Mr. Fishmonger vegetarian... if God didn't intend for animals to be eaten, then why did he make them out of meat!?

And secondly... if fish weren't meant for walloping faces, then why did He make them slimy and put handles down by their tails!?

Just askin'
mackerel_man_stan


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## Spanky (Sep 19, 2007)

ripley said:


> This is what I envisioned when I made this thread...fish slapping bringing people together.
> 
> 
> 
> *wipes a tear*



No, Rip. You've created Hyde Park. But with MACKEREL. 

...at least it smells better.  


oh, and don't cry.


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## ripley (Sep 19, 2007)

Spanky said:


> No, Rip. You've created Hyde Park. But with MACKEREL.
> 
> ...at least it smells better.
> 
> ...





No, it is not Hyde Park with mackerel! Hyde Park is divisive...

MACKEREL SLAPPING BRINGS PEOPLE TOGETHER IN HARMONY!!


I won't cry, Spanky. You're in my clique, don't forget, okay? There is a meeting tonight at midnight in the tree house.


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## Ash (Sep 19, 2007)

ripley said:


> No, it is not Hyde Park with mackerel! Hyde Park is divisive...
> 
> MACKEREL SLAPPING BRINGS PEOPLE TOGETHER IN HARMONY!!
> 
> ...



PSH. My clique is better. 

We'll totally meet you and your clique in the alley. Prepare for a night of snapping and singing a la West Side Story.


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## Jes (Sep 19, 2007)

When you're a fish, you're a fish all the way!




People, I will smack each and every one of you hobos with a mackerel AND YOU"LL LIKE IT.


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## ripley (Sep 19, 2007)

Ashley said:


> PSH. My clique is better.
> 
> We'll totally meet you and your clique in the alley. Prepare for a night of snapping and singing a la West Side Story.



As long as we can be one clique after we're done, and go make s'mores and braid each other's hair. :wubu: 



when you're a jet you're a jet...


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## Sweet Tooth (Sep 19, 2007)

Blackjack_Jeeves said:


> Regarding the explosive whale, Dave Barry once wrote a series of articles on "Spontaneous Combustion." One of them included the story of a beached whale being blown up by dynamite, for it was too big to move, and was already dead. Or something along those lines... Wierd what random stories will emerge just by a simple (yet gruesome) picture.



It's a little more than just a picture. Glad no one slapped me with this ... yet.


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## OfftoOtherPlaces (Sep 19, 2007)

Jes said:


> Is it a Little Debbie Mackerel?
> 
> No?
> 
> THEN I"M NOT INTERESTED.



The mackerel's name is Little Debbie.

But that's not my point; FISH IS VERY NUTRITIOUS AND GOOD FOR YOU.


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## ripley (Sep 19, 2007)

Say Hello to the Angels said:


> The mackerel's name is Little Debbie.
> 
> But that's not my point; FISH IS VERY NUTRITIOUS AND GOOD FOR YOU.



This is Dimensions! Nice to meet you, and welcome!


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## OfftoOtherPlaces (Sep 19, 2007)

ripley said:


> This is Dimensions! Nice to meet you, and welcome!



wut r u calling me n00b


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## ripley (Sep 19, 2007)

No I was making a joke. 




Just sit there and look pretty, baby.


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## Buffie (Sep 19, 2007)

kr7 said:


> Sorry Buffie, I run out of slang.  I guess there is only one thing to do. Mud-wrestling!!! :bounce:
> 
> Chris



Mud... One of us could get a parasite. How about Purell-wrestling? That works better for Buffie's germaphobia.

:bow:


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## Famouslastwords (Sep 19, 2007)

Caine! for being dense.


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## OfftoOtherPlaces (Sep 19, 2007)

ripley said:


> No I was making a joke.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



*puts Little Debbie in fish tank*


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## Ash (Sep 19, 2007)

Say Hello to the Angels said:


> *puts Little Debbie in fish tank*



noooooooooooo....Why would you DO that?!


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## kr7 (Sep 19, 2007)

Buffie said:


> Mud... One of us could get a parasite. How about Purell-wrestling? That works better for Buffie's germaphobia.
> 
> :bow:



I was thinking of the "spa" kind of mud, not the "middle-of-the-woods" kind of mud, but I tell you what, let's make it marshmallows, or better yet, fluffy, silk covered pillows. And let's make Jes wrestle with us. Oh, and let's bring all of our kittens. Yes, I think I like this even better.

Chris


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## OfftoOtherPlaces (Sep 19, 2007)

Ashley said:


> noooooooooooo....Why would you DO that?!



THIS PEOPUL NEED AYUR


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 19, 2007)

mossystate said:


> The person I have in mind?..I would not want to insult the mackerel.




You better bring more than a mackerel if you meant me........and I know you did..........of course you did...........I mean.......who else in this world could you possibly talk to or think about besides...........me


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 19, 2007)

mango said:


> *I only want to smack Ripley with a mackerel... and that's only because she begged for it!!
> 
> 
> *





oOOoOoOoOOOooOOOoO a woman begging to be slapped is sooooooooooooo hot.........errrrrrrrrrrr I mean wrong!


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 19, 2007)

Santaclear said:


> You seem to have dropped your mackerel, Ma'am.



I am so disappointed in you Santa.........why oh why is that not on a plate like everything else you give!!! :doh: :blink:


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## kr7 (Sep 19, 2007)

fa_man_stan said:


> ... if God didn't intend for animals to be eaten, then why did he make them out of meat!?
> 
> And secondly... if fish weren't meant for walloping faces, then why did He make them slimy and put handles down by their tails.....




I confess, that I have asked myself the very same question. I often thought that the Supreme Being should have made fish out of stone to prevent them from the horrid fate of being eaten, but then I realized that not only would it cause the poor creatures to sink, but alas, also to be an even better source of walloping ammunition.

Chris


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## Blackjack_Jeeves (Sep 19, 2007)

I know it's supposed to be a Dims board member, but I'd love to use the mackerel on the Pope. Then I could really say "Holy Mackerel!"

Thank you, thank you. :bow: Couldn't resist...


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## Spanky (Sep 19, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> You better bring more than a mackerel if you meant me........and I know you did..........of course you did...........I mean.......who else in this world could you possibly talk to or think about besides...........me



Why do you always seem to show up on EVERY "mackerel in the face" thread. Hmmmmmm?


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## Santaclear (Sep 20, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I am so disappointed in you Santa.........why oh why is that not on a plate like everything else you give!!! :doh: :blink:



Oops, sorry, GEF, here ya go. 

View attachment fresh mackerel.jpg


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## Santaclear (Sep 20, 2007)

fa_man_stan said:


> I look at that picture and pity the poor sod that will have to ride home on that scooter.



I know. The scooter is part of what makes it so poignant. Here's another shot from the same session. 

View attachment Whale7.jpg


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## Santaclear (Sep 20, 2007)

Blackjack_Jeeves said:


> Regarding the explosive whale, Dave Barry once wrote a series of articles on "Spontaneous Combustion." One of them included the story of a beached whale being blown up by dynamite, for it was too big to move, and was already dead. Or something along those lines... Weird what random stories will emerge just by a simple (yet gruesome) picture.



Different exploding whale. That one was in Oregon. It was beached, had somehow died and they decided to blow it up for some reason.

This was in Tainan, Taiwan. The body was being transported to a lab where researchers were going to try and determine the cause of death. Here's a link to the story: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4096586/

SweetTooth posted a link to ExplodingWhale.com, where the exploding whale crowd apparently hangs out. We mackerel lovers like to think of ourselves as a different breed tho.

(Here's one last parting shot of the Tainan whale from overhead.) 

View attachment whale.jpg


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## Santaclear (Sep 20, 2007)

kr7 said:


> To Whom It May Concern,
> 
> I wish to object, in the strongest of terms, to this thread. As a vegetarian and an animal rights supporter, I abhor the promotion of violence towards fish. I shall, therefore, request that all future slapping be performed with an imitation fish, under the supervision of a committee formed for the sole purpose of the observation of proper protocol during fish-slapping activities.
> 
> ...



So you're saying if one were to fall (or be pushed) face forward into a bin of tofu the effect would be the same? I think not.

These are consenting mackerel. Most of the actual slapping takes place in San Francisco.


----------



## Jes (Sep 20, 2007)

Say Hello to the Angels said:


> The mackerel's name is Little Debbie.
> 
> But that's not my point; FISH IS VERY NUTRITIOUS AND GOOD FOR YOU.



You hush up, boy!


----------



## moore2me (Sep 20, 2007)

Buffie said:


> Mud... One of us could get a parasite. How about Purell-wrestling? That works better for Buffie's germaphobia.
> 
> 
> :bow:





Moore's note: Buffie - If you're really worried about contracting some foreign organisms, mud is not the real risk here. Wild fish from American lakes have many more parasites than old fashioned American dirt & water. I took studied Parasitology in college and we collected & dissected many wild fish. Here's just a few parasites found in fish -

Gill worms, flukes, hookworms, etc.

Eye flukes

Amebaes & protozoans - can cause diarrhea in humans

Liver flukes

In muscles, larval stages of gastropods & other worms

In guts - tapeworms, hookworms, amebaes, protozoans.

Furthermore, some of the worms have developed very strong protective exteriors (having to live in the acidic stomach contents of animals). Purell & stuff probably won't kill them. One of the few things that will is heat. Cooking. That's why I don't eat wild fish sushi. And proper washing & cleaning of the fish will get rid of a lot of these critters (not the ones in the muscles tho). So getting slapped with a mackerel, may just make some gill flukes or anal hookworms come out on the slappee.

Word for the day - *Icthyoparasitology* the study of parasites in fish.



ripley said:


> As long as we can be one clique after we're done, and go make s'mores and braid each other's hair. :wubu:
> 
> when you're a jet you're a jet...



And ripley, I wouldn't think braiding hair after handling slimy fish would be a good idea. My hands smell horrible after cleaning fish - even when I wash them. That would make my hair smell like fish for days. Cats would start following me around . . . . . .


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## kr7 (Sep 20, 2007)

Santaclear said:


> So you're saying if one were to fall (or be pushed) face forward into a bin of tofu the effect would be the same? I think not.
> 
> These are consenting mackerel. Most of the actual slapping takes place in San Francisco.



Hey, I'm from Joisey, and yous know.....accidents will happen. Yous might slip and fall into a bin of tofu. If there was (hypothetical-like) to be some fresh cement on the bottom of that bin, and if the bin happend to be balancing on the edge of a dock.....well....yous get the picture....

Chris


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## mango (Sep 20, 2007)

Say Hello to the Angels said:


> THIS PEOPUL NEED AYUR


----------



## Mathias (Sep 20, 2007)

Bill Orally
Nancy Grace
Jack Thompson 
Dr. Phraud


----------



## Stoner (Sep 20, 2007)

*_grabs a mackerel and slaps himself_*

There, I deserved that.:blush:


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## gypsy (Sep 20, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Ripley!!!!!
> 
> Get In Here...santa Is Bringing Pork Products Into Your Thread...make Him Stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Yeah. That's not... Kosher.


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## Ash (Sep 20, 2007)

Say Hello to the Angels said:


> THIS PEOPUL NEED AYUR



All right, Andrew.

Get your ass to Mars.


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## OfftoOtherPlaces (Sep 20, 2007)

mango said:


>



There you go. I was SO CLOSE.

:bow:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 20, 2007)

Santaclear said:


> Oops, sorry, GEF, here ya go.




That is soooooooooooooooo hot...........errrrrrrrrrrrr undercooked?


----------



## Santaclear (Sep 20, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> That is soooooooooooooooo hot...........errrrrrrrrrrrr undercooked?



At least they're on a plate. They look sorta like they're hugging each other. It would be cute if they weren't dead and if humans hadn't been oppressing mackerel for so many centuries.


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## FreeThinker (Sep 20, 2007)

FreeThinker said:


> ...a pickerel (that's "walleye" to you Yankees out there)...





jack said:


> I am in no way whatsoever a "Yankee." I was born a few hours from Mexico. I have never heard of a "Pickerel." I have heard of a walleye.



Like I said, you yankees call them "walleye".



> *Yankee*
> 
> Originally a nickname for people from New England, now applied to anyone from the United States. Even before the American Revolutionary War, the term Yankee was used by the British to refer, derisively, to the American colonists. Since the Civil War, American southerners have called all northerners Yankees. Since World War I, the rest of the world has used the term to refer to all Americans.
> 
> *American Heritage New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition*​



View attachment Jack Yankee.jpg


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## FreeThinker (Sep 20, 2007)

Spanky said:


> Any Reb worth his weight in catfish would know that a pickerel is a pike and a walleye is a....well a walleye.
> 
> Reason #265 for not being in the "clique": Insulting members of the "yellow can club"



Insulting me alright...calling me a _Reb_, indeed! 

I'm Canadian. That explains the whole superiority thing I've got goin' on. 


Uppity yankee.


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## Spanky (Sep 20, 2007)

FreeThinker said:


> Like I said, you yankees call them "walleye".



Mr. Thinker,

Pickerel is the smallest member of the pike family. They include northern pike, also called hammer handles and jackfish and there are muskies. They all have that low criminal forehead and big rounded jawline, almost prehistoric looking. 

Walleye is the largest member of the perch family including sauger, and yellow perch. 

But then you can freethink anything you want.  

And yes, I did use the word "member" twice in this thread. So sue me.


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## Jes (Sep 20, 2007)

Spanky said:


> Mr. Thinker,
> 
> Pickerel is the smallest member of the pike family. They include northern pike, also called hammer handles and jackfish and there are muskies. They all have that low criminal forehead and big rounded jawline, almost prehistoric looking.
> 
> ...



i have caught a northern in my day. but the coho salmon (and isn't this the season...? soon?) are the bestest b/c you can split 'em down the middle and use the eggs for bait.


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## Spanky (Sep 20, 2007)

Jes said:


> i have caught a northern in my day. but the coho salmon (and isn't this the season...? soon?) are the bestest b/c you can split 'em down the middle and use the eggs for bait.



But if I am in the great Midwest and I need to slap you in the face with a fishy and the mackerels are all 1500 miles away, my recommendation is the Northern. The balance, the sheer solidness and aerodynamic shape as it races in the wind to abruptly meet with your left cheek.


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## Jes (Sep 20, 2007)

Spanky said:


> But if I am in the great Midwest and I need to slap you in the face with a fishy and the mackerels are all 1500 miles away, my recommendation is the Northern. The balance, the sheer solidness and aerodynamic shape as it races in the wind to abruptly meet with your left cheek.



Spanky, what does it matter? We both know that there is no situation on heaven or earth for which you'd need to smack me in the face with some fish.

Me, on the other hand...


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## Buffie (Sep 20, 2007)

moore2me said:


> Moore's note: Buffie - If you're really worried about contracting some foreign organisms, mud is not the real risk here. Wild fish from American lakes have many more parasites than old fashioned American dirt & water. I took studied Parasitology in college and we collected & dissected many wild fish. Here's just a few parasites found in fish -
> 
> 
> Gill worms, flukes, hookworms, etc.
> ...




HOOKWORM! I _KNEW_ IT! Ewww eww eww ewww ewwww! I can feel the chunks bubbling up. ~Rolls around on the floor, gagging dramatically.~

Ewww Ewww!

There's a reason fluke rhymes with puke! ---shudder---

Did that class just make your skin crawl or what? Brave soul, you are.


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## Jes (Sep 20, 2007)

Buffie said:


> HOOKWORM! I _KNEW_ IT! Ewww eww eww ewww ewwww! I can feel the chunks bubbling up. ~Rolls around on the floor, gagging dramatically.~
> 
> .



Buffie, some day soon, you and I are going to have a three-some.


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## mango (Sep 20, 2007)

*OK... So this is the size of my mackerel.. It's not much...

But Don't Laugh!

I know how to wield it and I am not afraid to use it!!

 *


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## Jes (Sep 21, 2007)

mango said:


> *OK... So this is the size of my mackerel.. It's not much...
> 
> But Don't Laugh!
> 
> ...


hmmn, now I'm thinking of that Led Zeppelin mudshark story (but it was really a red herring. A real one, not a fake one, I mean).


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## Wagimawr (Sep 21, 2007)

"Let's see how your red snapper likes this red snapper!" was one of the quotes in question, I believe?


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## Santaclear (Sep 21, 2007)

The mackerel has often been said to be the Prince Albert of fish, stately but baffling. :bow:


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## liz (di-va) (Sep 21, 2007)

Jes said:


> hmmn, now I'm thinking of that Led Zeppelin mudshark story (but it was really a red herring. A real one, not a fake one, I mean).



I hadda look that up


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## Jes (Sep 21, 2007)

Wagimawr said:


> "Let's see how your red snapper likes this red snapper!" was one of the quotes in question, I believe?



uh-hmmn!

that story endures, don't it? the mudshark version, i mean? and liz, you're older than I am--that story should've hit you in the face, so to speak! You crazy kids and your lack of getting dirty, dirty allusions!

I'll be bringing up plaster caster next!


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## moore2me (Sep 21, 2007)

Buffie said:


> HOOKWORM! I _KNEW_ IT! Ewww eww eww ewww ewwww! I can feel the chunks bubbling up. ~Rolls around on the floor, gagging dramatically.~
> 
> Ewww Ewww!
> 
> ...



Not puke, but it did throw me off my feed for a few hours after a lab class. The hardest classes were the ones on lice. Lice are crawlers and when their host (such as a blackbird) dies and starts to get cold, they leave. And go as fast as they can looking for a new host. Which was usually the poor unfortunate lab student closest to the bird with a microscope. I hated it when hundreds of bird lice started crawling up my arm.

The first time it happened, I ran screaming to my professor & he poo-pooed me saying "the bird lice won't live on you more than a couple of hours. They only can live on birds. They will die on a human host." Made me feel much better - just have to wait them out while my skin actually did crawl.

Parasitology lab was sooooo much fun.


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## BLUEeyedBanshee (Sep 21, 2007)

I have nothing to add...but this video...Spamalot how I love thee...that and ya know I'm Finnish and well we like slapping people in the face with fish, and it's not a bad thing...in fact it's a celebratory happy experience.

FINLAND!

So because of my heritage, I slap all of you in the face with fishes...errr a mackerel...whatever...


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## Blackjack_Jeeves (Sep 21, 2007)

LoL That was an amazing show, and I'm sad I only got to see it once. David Hyde Pierce is priceless.


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## Santaclear (Sep 21, 2007)

Jes said:


> uh-hmmn!
> 
> that story endures, don't it? the mudshark version, i mean? and liz, you're older than I am--that story should've hit you in the face, so to speak! You crazy kids and your lack of getting dirty, dirty allusions!
> 
> I'll be bringing up plaster caster next!



I was at the Zappa/Mothers show in 1971 at the Fillmore East when they recorded "Mudshark" but never heard that story till now. (The sexual escapades of rock musicians never thrilled me much.) But now I know.


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## liz (di-va) (Sep 21, 2007)

Jes said:


> I'll be bringing up plaster caster next!



She is still around (and doing tits now too!). Something of a fixture here in Chicago still. Hah! (fixture)


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## gypsy (Sep 21, 2007)

Today I wish to slap EVERY GODDAMN PERSON AT WORK with a metric tonne of mackerel.


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## Jes (Sep 21, 2007)

liz (di-va) said:


> She is still around (and doing tits now too!). Something of a fixture here in Chicago still. Hah! (fixture)



oh my god! i'm so there!

(but do you know which one of her subjects...ahem...did the mold? that's a good story too)


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## Santaclear (Sep 22, 2007)

_Mackerelot_ is just like Camelot, but with mackerel. 

View attachment post-7-71517-Monty_Python_Spanish_Inquisition.jpg


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 22, 2007)

gypsy said:


> Today I wish to slap EVERY GODDAMN PERSON AT WORK with a metric tonne of mackerel.



You're so hot when you're angry.........errrrrrrrrrrr I mean I am sorry you had such a bad day!


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## fatgirlflyin (Sep 22, 2007)

This is such an angry thread, 8 pages of slapping people with fish.


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## mossystate (Sep 22, 2007)

* taps Ella on the shoulder *...Thwap!!...what are you talking about..??


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## fatgirlflyin (Sep 22, 2007)

mossystate said:


> * taps Ella on the shoulder *...Thwap!!...what are you talking about..??



LMAO! I've been trying to turn the other cheek, but I'm afraid of being hit again if I do that so prepare to be mackereled lady!


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## ripley (Sep 22, 2007)

Ella Bella said:


> This is such an angry thread, 8 pages of slapping people with fish.





No, no, no. This thread is all about the love, Ella. 




ETA: I just saw a commercial on TV for maplestory.com/free ....and they were slapping each other in the face with fish. 

I'm such a trend setter.


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## Santaclear (Sep 22, 2007)

Ella Bella said:


> This is such an angry thread, 8 pages of slapping people with fish.



It's a fetish, Ella. :bow:


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## ripley (Sep 22, 2007)

It's a PREFERENCE.


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## Santaclear (Sep 22, 2007)

ripley said:


> It's a PREFERENCE.



Maybe for you it is. Some of us can't control it.


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## fatgirlflyin (Sep 22, 2007)

ripley said:


> It's a PREFERENCE.




I prefer my fish dead and on a plate.


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## ripley (Sep 22, 2007)

Ella Bella said:


> I prefer my fish dead and on a plate.





And you call _us_ the angry ones!


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## gypsy (Sep 22, 2007)

Santaclear said:


> _Mackerelot_ is just like Camelot, but with mackerel.



And then add the Spam...

Which would be SpaMackerelot.

Spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam and spam!!


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## gypsy (Sep 22, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> You're so hot when you're angry.........errrrrrrrrrrr I mean I am sorry you had such a bad day!



Right, now let me add Spam to that, and the cutesy schoolgirl outfit from the "worst food" thread, and what the hell, the Spanish Inquisition....

I think I'm really destroying my brain cells with booze.

*ponders*


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## Santaclear (Sep 22, 2007)

gypsy said:


> And then add the Spam...
> 
> Which would be SpaMackerelot.
> 
> Spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam and spam!!



Allow me to add some spackel to that. :bow: 

View attachment liwafaerg-mellan-spackel.jpg


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## ripley (Sep 22, 2007)

gypsy said:


> Right, now let me add Spam to that, and the cutesy schoolgirl outfit from the "worst food" thread, and what the hell, the Spanish Inquisition....
> 
> I think I'm really destroying my brain cells with booze.
> 
> *ponders*





Spamish inquisition? What?


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Sep 22, 2007)

Barry Maniwow!!


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Sep 23, 2007)

YES!!!!! Killed yet another thread!! I should go for my personal best.


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## Risible (Sep 23, 2007)

Oh, I heard about this mackerel thread, but I was looking for it in the Foodee Board. I wanted to talk about the mackerel sauced with sour cream dinner we had tonight ... I could slap myself now.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Sep 23, 2007)

darn it Ris. You ruined my record.


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## Buffie (Sep 23, 2007)

Jes said:


> Buffie, some day soon, you and I are going to have a three-some.



:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: 


Won't that be unfair to the third person?



:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: 



...


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## Buffie (Sep 23, 2007)

moore2me said:


> Not puke, but it did throw me off my feed for a few hours after a lab class. The hardest classes were the ones on lice. Lice are crawlers and when their host (such as a blackbird) dies and starts to get cold, they leave. And go as fast as they can looking for a new host. Which was usually the poor unfortunate lab student closest to the bird with a microscope. I hated it when hundreds of bird lice started crawling up my arm.
> 
> The first time it happened, I ran screaming to my professor & he poo-pooed me saying "the bird lice won't live on you more than a couple of hours. They only can live on birds. They will die on a human host." Made me feel much better - just have to wait them out while my skin actually did crawl.
> 
> Parasitology lab was sooooo much fun.





 Crawling up your arm??? :huh: 

~kerplunk~ 

View attachment faint.jpg


----------



## Spanky (Sep 24, 2007)

Buffie said:


> :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
> 
> 
> Won't that be unfair to the third person?
> ...



Can you TWO include Mossy in the threesome?? Please? She is taking this mackerel slapping business WAAAAAY too seriously. I can almost hear a sinister giggle coming out the the computer when reading her slapping posts.


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## Buffie (Sep 24, 2007)

Spanky said:


> Can you TWO include Mossy in the threesome?? Please? She is taking this mackerel slapping business WAAAAAY too seriously. I can almost hear a sinister giggle coming out the the computer when reading her slapping posts.




You mean like this?

(Imagine a trampoline, if you will... surrounded by soft fluffy pillowy piles of mackerel.)

:bounce: :bounce: 

[ Of course Jes is on top. Duh, it's Jes.]

:bounce: :bounce: 

[ Should we be wearing helmets? ]

:bounce: :bounce: 

[ Later we're going to have a pillow fight... with mackerel pillows. ]

:batting: :batting: :batting:


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## Spanky (Sep 24, 2007)

Buffie said:


> You mean like this?
> 
> (Imagine a trampoline, if you will... surrounded by soft fluffy pillowy piles of mackerel.)
> 
> ...





Is this going to cost me $3.99 a post?? Keep going!


----------



## Jes (Sep 24, 2007)

Buffie said:


> You mean like this?
> 
> (Imagine a trampoline, if you will... surrounded by soft fluffy pillowy piles of mackerel.)
> 
> ...


you know, i'm not an on-top kind of girl. Unless it's on top of spaghetti.

I don't knwo if I know Mossy well enough to invite her. I have to know the people I have casual sex with really well. 

anyway, the 2 of us could have a 3-some just fine.


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## mossystate (Sep 24, 2007)

Mossy no interested. I might enjoy directing one fine man..with himself.


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## Spanky (Sep 24, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Mossy no interested. I might enjoy directing one fine man..with himself.



You answer isa no good! **WHAP**


----------



## mossystate (Sep 24, 2007)

That is one weak **WHAP** you have there...SpankSpank....flaccid mackerel!!


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## Spanky (Sep 24, 2007)

mossystate said:


> That is one weak **WHAP** you have there...SpankSpank....flaccid mackerel!!



That was a smack in the ass, darling. I would never hit a lady in the face with anything.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 24, 2007)

Spanky said:


> That was a smack in the ass, darling. I would never hit a lady in the face with anything.



not with.........anything? :batting:


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## mossystate (Sep 24, 2007)

Spanky said:


> That was a smack in the ass, darling. I would never hit a lady in the face with anything.



Ummmm..where did I mention...face..??...Spankee...fry up that fish and call it a day... 

oh..wait...Green wants a lil mack action before you head to the grill...


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 24, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Ummmm..where did I mention...face..??...Spankee...fry up that fish and call it a day...
> 
> oh..wait...*Green wants a lil mack action before you head to the grill...*




*Swoons and passes out* :wubu:


----------



## Spanky (Sep 24, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> not with.........anything? :batting:



Edit: That was a smack in the ass, darling. I would never hit a lady in the face with anything *that smelled like fish*. 

Better, honey??


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 24, 2007)

Spanky said:


> Edit: That was a smack in the ass, darling. I would never hit a lady in the face with anything *that smelled like fish*.
> 
> Better, honey??



:wubu: :smitten: :kiss2: :bow: 


Oh and watching you spank Mossy was soooo hot.....errrrrrrr wrong of you


----------



## mossystate (Sep 24, 2007)

I am going to go take a shower..this thread has me feeling ...not so fresh...when I return, I hope a few of you * cough * grab a little class...don't disappoint me.


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## Jes (Sep 24, 2007)

I don't think I care for the direction in which this conversation is headed.

And just who are you calling 'honey?'


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## Spanky (Sep 24, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> :wubu: :smitten: :kiss2: :bow:
> 
> 
> Oh and watching you spank Mossy was soooo hot.....errrrrrrr wrong of you



She seems to like being the Mackerel-er rather than the Mackerel-ee. Maybe that's just how she swings. She can be soooooo giving. 


OWWWW!!! <getting another in the kisser>


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 24, 2007)

mossystate said:


> I am going to go take a shower..this thread has me feeling ...not so fresh...when I return, I hope a few of you * cough * grab a little class...don't disappoint me.



I think Spanky should spank you again for this attitude......but only if I can watch


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## Spanky (Sep 25, 2007)

Jes said:


> I don't think I care for the direction in which this conversation is headed.
> 
> And just who are you calling 'honey?'



Let's see, hmmmmm, reviewing......

Mossy was "darling".
GEF was "honey" (she lives in the south ya know)
Jes is.....well......"m'lady" or "sweet cheeks". You decide.  

I'm just asking for more mackerel. 

<this might get me on the double secret probation "list">


----------



## Santaclear (Sep 25, 2007)

Click on "mackerel", then "yes" and "save changes." :bow:


----------



## Jes (Sep 25, 2007)

Spanky said:


> Let's see, hmmmmm, reviewing......
> 
> Mossy was "darling".
> GEF was "honey" (she lives in the south ya know)
> ...



oh, you're on it, now. and there will be no further communication from me unless you take yourself off it.


----------



## Buffie (Sep 25, 2007)

mossystate said:


> That is one weak **WHAP** you have there...SpankSpank....flaccid mackerel!!



Oohhhhh bbbbuuuuurrrrrnnnnn. 

Good one!


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Sep 25, 2007)

Buffie said:


> Crawling up your arm??? :huh:
> 
> ~kerplunk~



Here Buffie feelz betterz!


----------



## Buffie (Sep 25, 2007)

Spanky said:


> Is this going to cost me $3.99 a post?? Keep going!



Ohkay... I'm like all going to whisper in your ear and stuff! ~Giggle~

Did you know -breathe breathe- that if you llllaid -breathe gasp- Junior Mints -gasp- end to end -gasp breath- they would reach -pant pant- 162 mmmmiles after justttt -gasp pant- one days proudctionnnnnnnn. -purr-

That's my impression of Weird Al doing an impression of an 'adult voice entertainer.' 

Do I make you horny baby? Do I? Do I make you rrrrrandy??? 

View attachment megamonalisa_weird-al-mona.jpg


----------



## Spanky (Sep 25, 2007)

Buffie said:


> Ohkay... I'm like all going to whisper in your ear and stuff! ~Giggle~
> 
> Did you know -breathe breathe- that if you llllaid -breathe gasp- Junior Mints -gasp- end to end -gasp breath- they would reach -pant pant- 162 mmmmiles after justttt -gasp pant- one days proudctionnnnnnnn. -purr-
> 
> ...



Buffie, that was going juuuuuuust great.......


Until I saw the picture. Holy Al! No $3.99 for you!


----------



## Buffie (Sep 25, 2007)

Jes said:


> you know, i'm not an on-top kind of girl. Unless it's on top of spaghetti.
> 
> I don't knwo if I know Mossy well enough to invite her. I have to know the people I have casual sex with really well.
> 
> anyway, the 2 of us could have a 3-some just fine.



asl? w4|\|7 70 g0 priv473?


----------



## Buffie (Sep 25, 2007)

Spanky said:


> Buffie, that was going juuuuuuust great.......
> 
> 
> Until I saw the picture. Holy Al! No $3.99 for you!



EEEEEEEEEEEvile laughter!

No $3.99 for me? I take $0.99 then. You give $0.99?


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## Buffie (Sep 25, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Here Buffie feelz betterz!



Yoouuuu posta kitty pic! I do feels bettr. :wubu:


----------



## Spanky (Sep 25, 2007)

Jes said:


> oh, you're on it, now. and there will be no further communication from me unless you take yourself off it.



Me very sorry.


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## swamptoad (Sep 25, 2007)

There definitely is something fishy about this thread.

*acts all confused*


----------

