# A Private BBW board revisited



## olwen (May 3, 2010)

I think it's time to revisit the idea of a private bbw board. 

So, would a private bbw board be more or less useful for the bbws here? Would more bbws participate if the board were private? And lastly, would it be more or less beneficial to the community at large? So if you are a bbw and you want the bbw board to be private, tell us why and if you are a bbw and you don't want the bbw board to be private, tell us why.


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## mossystate (May 4, 2010)

I would ask why this is being considered. The whole idea of both the fa forum and the bbw forums, was that there be public spaces that would allow all those reading it to learn from those participating. Is it now just too inconvenient to have it be a protected forum? Is it that those in charge cannot decide what the rules should be? 

I don't think shoving fat women ' underground ' will do anything but make it known, without a doubt, that Dims views them as not having anything to say, specific to being a fat woman on this planet, that can benefit other people who are not fat women. The reasons for fewer women participating are probably not going to be solved, in terms of what the ' community ' is all about, by coming up with band-aid solutions...which do not address some of the real issues that get many of the fat women out here more than a little peeved.

I have heard some ask for a sub-forum to discuss more private issues, and I think that has a real place, but if Dimensions has no public arena specifically for fat women, then it, in my opinion, will have said that fat women can come up to the surface to learn about fa's...post sexy pictures...name a song that begins with the letter P. Some of the things that _other people _need to hear... will no longer have a forum. Back to the shadows, and no way to counter with personal experiences, attitudes and ideas seen elsewhere on this very site, and in the world we live.

Rarely has going backwards ever helped...anything or anyone...but it can send very strong and unfortunate messages.


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## msbard90 (May 4, 2010)

I'm not incredibly sure about going private with the bbw forum. As mossy mentioned, I like that there is a public place for people to read about the issues and benefits to the bbw life. I would like for people to know that I'm more than "ask a question, answer a question" or posting pics. I can see the necessity for a private thread to discuss private bbw issues, BUT, I feel that there is an overwhelming amount of women who will discuss private issues whether or not the board is private, and there (imo) wouldnt be a significant increase in bbw participation if it were private. It would still be the same people posting all the time.


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## spiritangel (May 4, 2010)

I think a sub forum that is private would be nice, but I have no problem with things as they stand, its only one or two fly's in the ointment so to speak and I have found both the bbw fa and bhm forums to be full of interesting and wonderful things I have learnt loads from all of them


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## CastingPearls (May 4, 2010)

I do not want a private board.
Already I have benefited from the insight of FA'a and BHM's on the BBW threads and I'm quite new on DIMS. I am not intimidated or offended by opposition or invective. 
Additionally, I dislike exclusion which I believe totally goes against the spirit of the SA movement.
If something needs to be said privately, PMs can be utilized, not to mention other social networks like Facebook which many of us are already using in tandem with DIMS.


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## Aurora (May 5, 2010)

Keep it public. As soon as you make something private, you're going to have people pretending to be someone they're not just to get in, and that's just plain annoying. 

A sub-forum isn't a bad idea, but would it really get a lot of use? Or do we have some people here who would feel better posting things in a more private place?


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## msbard90 (May 5, 2010)

Aurora said:


> Keep it public. *As soon as you make something private, you're going to have people pretending to be someone they're not just to get in, and that's just plain annoying*.
> 
> A sub-forum isn't a bad idea, but would it really get a lot of use? Or do we have some people here who would feel better posting things in a more private place?



*bold*= agreed.

I think that if people have extremely private issues, they would probably not post them anyways. And if they confided with someone or some people in dims, they probably know who those people are already and can PM them, or find an alternate out-of-dims way to talk to them.


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## LovelyLiz (May 6, 2010)

My vote is that the BBW board should remain public - that it be a place where fat women can engage with other fat women on issues that matter to us - and where people who are not fat women (ie, men, thin women, etc.) can read and get to know more about the agency and various perspective(s) of fat women, but that this space is not about their voice or their opinion. 

I disagree with CP that there should be posters who are not fat women allowed to come into this forum and disagree and voice opposition, etc. That can happen on the main board and pretty much in any other forum, but that should not happen here. If there is disagreement, it should be between one fat woman and another (as often happens, and should), but hostility from posters who are not fat women should not be allowed in the BBW forum. 

I do really enjoy reading the perspectives of diverse people in this community - men, women, thin, fat, FAs, BHMs, XYZs, etc., and hope that some productive dialogue and debate between all kinds of different people can happen all over the boards - but I want this forum to be for and about fat women ONLY.


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## katherine22 (May 6, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> My vote is that the BBW board should remain public - that it be a place where fat women can engage with other fat women on issues that matter to us - and where people who are not fat women (ie, men, thin women, etc.) can read and get to know more about the agency and various perspective(s) of fat women, but that this space is not about their voice or their opinion.
> 
> I disagree with CP that there should be posters who are not fat women allowed to come into this forum and disagree and voice opposition, etc. That can happen on the main board and pretty much in any other forum, but that should not happen here. If there is disagreement, it should be between one fat woman and another (as often happens, and should), but hostility from posters who are not fat women should not be allowed in the BBW forum.
> 
> I do really enjoy reading the perspectives of diverse people in this community - men, women, thin, fat, FAs, BHMs, XYZs, etc., and hope that some productive dialogue and debate between all kinds of different people can happen all over the boards - but I want this forum to be for and about fat women ONLY.



I am completely opposed to a private forum. The women on this forum have handled a variety of issues on this board with intelligence and elan. I am opposed to any venue that would suggest that we are so delicate as to require special handling. If others who are not fat women want to post here, they can be respectful.


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## BubbleButtBabe (May 6, 2010)

I don't think this forum should go private but I do wish we could have a sub forum to discuss some feminine issues that we do not want the world to read..I am about as open minded as can be about any issues but I do have my modesty and would feel uncomfortable discussing some things in the open...Please those of you that would like to paint me with a prude brush don't just because some things need to remain private...


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## littlefairywren (May 6, 2010)

I am all for keeping the BBW board public. But I really do like the idea of a sub-forum for more private matters. Just as Bubble said, for feminine issues to remain private.


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## Vespertine (May 6, 2010)

I support a private sub-forum while keeping the main public.


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## olwen (May 7, 2010)

Thanks everyone for your answers so far, they will be taken into consideration.


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## fatgirlflyin (May 8, 2010)

I think we should just remove the bbw and fa forums and just direct posts to the appropriate general forums. Then people are free to participate in discussions no matter what sex they happen to be. I can't count the number of times I have seen someone bring up a good point only to be told they shouldn't be posting someplace. 

Very frustrating to find a thread I want to participate in and have to second guess myself as to whether or not my opinion would be welcome.


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## Tau (May 8, 2010)

fatgirlflyin said:


> I think we should just remove the bbw and fa forums and just direct posts to the appropriate general forums. Then people are free to participate in discussions no matter what sex they happen to be. I can't count the number of times I have seen someone bring up a good point only to be told they shouldn't be posting someplace.
> 
> Very frustrating to find a thread I want to participate in and have to second guess myself as to whether or not my opinion would be welcome.



What she said.


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## CastingPearls (May 8, 2010)

fatgirlflyin said:


> I think we should just remove the bbw and fa forums and just direct posts to the appropriate general forums. Then people are free to participate in discussions no matter what sex they happen to be. I can't count the number of times I have seen someone bring up a good point only to be told they shouldn't be posting someplace.
> 
> Very frustrating to find a thread I want to participate in and have to second guess myself as to whether or not my opinion would be welcome.


Going somewhat off-thread, there is nothing more heartwarming or encouraging to a newbie than being scolded. 

Especially under the guise of 'just helping out'. Tone being what it is, there is still a way to get one's point across without sounding sanctimonious. And this coming from someone who isn't particularly sensitive or easy to offend.

Thank you fatgirlflyin for voicing what I've been censoring myself from saying for weeks.


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## msbard90 (May 8, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> Going somewhat off-thread, there is nothing more heartwarming or encouraging to a newbie than being scolded.
> 
> Especially under the guise of 'just helping out'. Tone being what it is, there is still a way to get one's point across without sounding sanctimonious. And this coming from someone who isn't particularly sensitive or easy to offend.
> 
> Thank you fatgirlflyin for voicing what I've been censoring myself from saying for weeks.



I am still fairly new to the boards, but I do remember when I was "brand new". Never before have I met a group of people that make it so frightening to share an opinion. Anything I shared was countered with, "well I've been posting for a long time" to correcting my grammar to downright nastiness. I've seen people be criticized for not going to bashes, criticized for not posting in the right place... the list goes on and on. I even left for several months because these boards get so critical and stressful. Even though I'm not a big advocate for privatizing the bbw board, sometimes I wish there was a place for people to talk and communicate politely and respectfully, without judgment. You have been such a positive and fun contribution to the boards, and I enjoy reading your posts


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## Webmaster (May 9, 2010)

The question whether or not there should be a private BBW board has been around pretty much since we began discussing setting up separate BBW and FA boards. And before that, there was much discussion about the private SSBBW board. 

The argument in favor of a private board is always that there are things you would not feel comfortable bringing up before a public audience. The argument against a private board is that it's better to openly discuss things in an easily accessible setting (and from an administrative standpoint, a private board can be difficult due to admission policies, abuse, etc.).

From what I can tell, more seem to feel that there is no need for a private BBW board (do note that it was never intended to make the entire board private, just setting up a private sub-board).


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## msbard90 (May 9, 2010)

Webmaster said:


> From what I can tell, more seem to feel that there is no need for a private BBW board (do note that it was never intended to make the entire board private, just setting up a private sub-board).



If the BBW board gets a private sub-board, then all of the other boards will want to follow suit.


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## kayrae (May 9, 2010)

A private BBW board already exists off-site. At one point in my life, I advocated strongly and fiercely for the creation of a private sub-board on Dimensions. Now? I'm hard-pressed to care.


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## msbard90 (May 9, 2010)

kayrae said:


> A private BBW board already exists off-site. At one point in my life, I advocated strongly and fiercely for the creation of a private sub-board on Dimensions. Now? I'm hard-pressed to care.



Really? I guess I'm out of the loop lol


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## Jes (May 9, 2010)

Once upon a time, I had a strong opinion. Then, I didn't. After the last 2 days and the moderation of this board, I think I'm all for a private forum!

that said, it's too much hassle, it'd create too many subforums and might not be used much, so my preference is in theory only. But man, wouldn't it be nice to be equal and for my voice to count? Mmmm!


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## exile in thighville (May 9, 2010)

Jes said:


> After the last 2 days and the moderation of this board, I think I'm all for a private forum!



why would this make you want one with the same moderators though?


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## thatgirl08 (May 9, 2010)

There's hardly enough BBW left here anymore to warrant a private board.


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## Jes (May 9, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> There's hardly enough BBW left here anymore to warrant a private board.



that could be chalked up to a case of cause and effect.


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