# When your BBW/BHM partner doesn't get your "fat fetish"?



## Cors (Apr 18, 2009)

I am sure most FAs find non-traditional erogenous zones like double chins, soft arms, belly, back fat, thighs, calves, puffy feet and even supposed flaws like stretchmarks and cellulite extremely appealing. 

However, most of my past partners are just not interested in any attention on their fat parts at all or anything that might remind them of their fat. I met them outside the size acceptance community and they do struggle with their size, but I am sure that the lack of confidence is not the only issue. I imagine that not every fat person will enjoy belly rubs and the like, or even get turned on by it. 

While it is difficult to ignore the soft, tempting lushness right in front of you during sex, I am usually able to not make it my focus and keep my thoughts to myself if it makes my partner uncomfortable. A couple of exes have told me that belly rubs did absolutely nothing for them, but they tolerated it anyway and that made me feel selfish and sad. If I had known that, I would probably have tried harder to suppress my desires. 

BBWs/BHMs, how do you _really_ feel about your partner paying attention to your fat, both in and out of bed? 

FAs, how do you cope if your BBW/BHM does not understand your preference/fetish or enjoy them on the same level (eg. partner might like belly rubs casually but would rather you ignore her tummy completely in bed)?


----------



## exile in thighville (Apr 18, 2009)

i can't put up with it. it goes with any other kind of negativity i can't tolerate in a relationship. i'm not crazy about my body but my existence isn't plagued by it; life has too many real problems for me to be constantly chipping away at someone's fears. i'd ask the same of any respectable potential girlfriend to not put up with a downer. i'm too impatient in my adult life to make any more conversions. if a fat friend was feeling down i'd link her to literature and other people though. and i'm certainly fine with reassuring people how beautiful they are and how society Doesn't Matter. but the endless loop of unhappy behaviors, not being able to call herself "fat" when she is, constantly pointing out parts of themselves they hate, not allowing the forbidden places to be touched or referred to, sex with the lights off...i'm out of that dreamworld now, why should i go back in? i didn't come out of the closet to assuage someone's self-pity.

i feel genuinely sorry for anyone haunted by these issues, especially so if they have real depression and disorders such as body dysmorphic. but it's not how i want to live life; the best i can do is direct them to someone who can help them better than i can.


----------



## D_A_Bunny (Apr 19, 2009)

SSBBW married to FA.

I think that sometimes each person has to realize that they each might have a different perception of the action. A fat person who has spent a long time shaking their belly flab and thinking this is disgusting is going to have to be made aware of the FAs perception of the belly flab. 

First the FA would have to state that they found the action of shaking the belly flab to be enjoyable. It may take more than one time for the fat person to get it. This is especially true if the fat person is nonFA. They have never looked at something fat and gotten enjoyment from it. 

After a couple of times and a possible conversation, my advice to the fat person is, try it, you might like it. If not, and it doesn't hurt or make you feel horrible, why not do something that pleases your partner? 

Even after 18 years and a very open relationship, I am still discovering things that might turn my husband on. Sometimes, I am just like, wow, cool. Or, let me think about that, ok sure. Or if I decide I am not into it, then sorry, not happening. But for me, there is SO much to be thankful for being with an FA who adores my fatness, I just can't imagine not living with someone who loves me mind, BODY and soul.


----------



## MisterGuy (Apr 19, 2009)

Unfortunately, the question that this topic raises for me is, "Are there people who do get your 'fat fetish'?" I've dated a lot of heavy chicks and have never, ever met a woman who genuinely liked being fat. 

Now, I realize there are women who love to gain weight, I'm not saying I don't think it exists. Just that it's super-surpassingly rare. I also believe there are women on this board and irl who are genuinely "ok" with it, although I also think most of them would opt to be 130 lbs if there a magic "thin" pill. 

My current gf is the closest I've come to finding a woman who "gets it." I mean, she knows I like it and humors me, and she doesn't have any massive body image issues--no sex in the dark type hangups, which I've had plenty of experience with. She still doesn't like it, and wishes she was thinner. Honestly, I feel like that's about as close as any FA can reasonably hope to get to a partner "getting it." 

It's depressing, but I just feel like by the time a fat woman makes it past adolescence, they've been bombarded with so much thin advertising/societal pressure/etc. that it's a little past the power of any FA to change their minds about.


----------



## steely (Apr 19, 2009)

MisterGuy said:


> Now, I realize there are women who love to gain weight, I'm not saying I don't think it exists. Just that it's super-surpassingly rare. I also believe there are women on this board and irl who are genuinely "ok" with it, although I also think most of them would opt to be 130 lbs if there a magic "thin" pill.
> 
> 
> It's depressing, but I just feel like by the time a fat woman makes it past adolescence, they've been bombarded with so much thin advertising/societal pressure/etc. that it's a little past the power of any FA to change their minds about.



The top paragraph is where I think you are wrong.There's too much involved in the person that I am because of being fat.I wouldn't wish it away for any magic pill.

The second paragraph is dead on but there is hope.Being with a great man and being supported here on Dims can really change your point of view.:happy:


----------



## MisterGuy (Apr 19, 2009)

steely said:


> The top paragraph is where I think you are wrong.There's too much involved in the person that I am because of being fat.I wouldn't wish it away for any magic pill.
> 
> The second paragraph is dead on but there is hope.Being with a great man and being supported here on Dims can really change your point of view.:happy:



That's great, and I'm glad to hear it. I'm glad to know that level of self-acceptance is out there. I do feel, from personal experience, that you're probably in a small minority in that regard.


----------



## olwen (Apr 19, 2009)

Cors, you know the thing is for quite a few of us fat chicks, we never think about our fat being erogenous zones, not necessarily because we are disgusted by it (I'm not), but because those non-traditional erogenous parts are just that - not ergenous zone parts. Seems odd to think about an arm as an erogenous zone. 

That's how it was for me the first time I had a guy be intimate with my belly. It was strange and I was surprised, but I liked that he liked it. Fat frottage doesn't always do anything for me sexually, but I don't see that as a bad thing. Sometimes it's good to just do stuff for your partner (within reason), and fat frottage and such doesn't seem unreasonable to me, so it passes. 

I would feel bad if I had a partner who liked it and felt bad about me not liking it. I don't think sexual chemistry means you have to like everything equally. I think it means you are attracted to each other and you pay attention to what your partner likes and you do that thing so long as it isn't a hard limit for you. That's just what I consider "taking care of business." Part of the pleasure of being with someone sexually is the feeling of satisfaction you get when you know you are doing something _they _like. So go with it. You shouldn't have to hold back that part of your sexuality. I think it sucks if you have to that.


----------



## Melian (Apr 20, 2009)

First, I should point out that I have moderately serious (in the sense that I can still leave the house, but feel like crap most of the time) body dysmorphic disorder. 

That being said, if I am in a committed relationship, I put in a huge amount of effort to suppress my own self-loathing to please my partner (without TELLING him I'm doing so, as not to ruin his experience). If I get what I want in return, I feel satisfied - like everything was worth it.

So I feel that if a fat partner who, in the case of the men I've dated, doesn't actually suffer from any kind of serious psychological issue with his body is refusing me the small favour of touching his fat parts, then that relationship has to end. I refuse to give everything to someone who gives nothing.


----------



## Eclectic_Girl (Apr 21, 2009)

SSBBW in committed relationship with an FA here.

For me, coming to understand FAs' attraction to me has been intertwined with my coming to terms with myself as a sexual being. I have never been intimate with anyone who wasn't an FA, so I don't have the experience of someone avoiding my fat bits or wanting to have the lights off. I have always been a very tactile person, and to me skipping the fat bits during sex would be like giving someone a massage on only the right side of their back: the parts that get skipped feel even worse than if you'd never been touched at all, if only in comparison to the parts that did get touched.

Having said that, the same goes for skipping everything but the fat bits. I am not satisfied by a guy that is only interested in touching what gives him pleasure without regard for what will really turn me on. (To be less oblique: the clitoris. Find it, learn its mysterious ways, and return for visits frequently.)

But I like having the fat bits touched, too, especially if they are handled with gentle care. (Another tip: Refrain from the bruise-inducing grab unless you know he/she likes it on the rough side. Most fat people have not had pleasant experiences with pinchy calipers measuring how fat they are.) There are some areas that are more sensitive/pleasurable than others, but I never feel like I'm "tolerating" that touch. I get turned on when I see how unabashedly turned on my partner is by my fat bits. But I feel especially emotionally connected when his lust is not mingled with shame or guilt for liking my fat (and, similarly, when my lust is not mingled with shame about being fat or insecurity that I'm being treated as a sexual object). And emotional connection is when the real magic happens. :wubu:


----------



## AnnMarie (Apr 21, 2009)

Well, I don't consider it a fetish, so I'll argue slightly on the language. 

But, I get it. I like it, and I've always enjoyed all parts of it since I've known it was possible. I like squashing, having ALL my parts touched (not just fat, as Carla mentioned - but fat is right up there and welcome and necessary). 

I'm sorry for those of you who've been with partners who don't get it or barely tolerate it. I think that's a horrible way to have a relationship, even if other things are good - it's a huge disconnect. I've thoroughly enjoyed having that bond and understand with my partners, so I only wish you all that. 




MisterGuy said:


> I also believe there are women on this board and irl who are genuinely "ok" with it, although I also think most of them would opt to be 130 lbs if there a magic "thin" pill.



But _not_ all of us would - that's what's important.


----------



## undrcovrbrothr (Apr 22, 2009)

Well, I come from a different set of circumstances... you see, my current BBW partner has never felt comfortable about her body, despite the extreme amount of times I tell her how much I love it. The hardest part is trying to convince someone over and over again that they are beautiful as they are, only to deny it and to try and cover it up instead of being proud of it. I just don't know how many more times I can try and express how I feel before I give up altogether... I've been thinking sometimes we may not be a match, and other times I just cave in and let her be miserable in her lack of self-confidence...


----------



## D_A_Bunny (Apr 22, 2009)

Eclectic_Girl said:


> the clitoris. Find it, learn its mysterious ways, and return for visits frequently.



This might be the best advice ever given on this website.:bow:


----------



## Teresa (Apr 26, 2009)

I'm a BBW that doesn't get what an FA finds attractive about my fat, but I know he does find it attractive and I like that ALOT.

I've met guys that like my fat belly, but it's only been recently that I've been getting to know a man who really likes a fat belly and talks alot about belly rubs. At first I was like...ok...sounds nice, but no fireworks there. Then the more he said (and he wasn't pushing it, just talking about it every now and then) the more I thought about it and I found myself laying in bed unable to go to sleep the other night until 4am thinking about damn belly rubs. LOL It had me all worked up and wanting one.  

I remember years ago talking to an FA online who LOVED back fat. I took a pic showing mine and asked if that was what he was talking about, he said yeah, along with alot of compliments and I found myself more accepting of that part of myself and even enjoying it. 

I've found that someone who's positive about my body, my size and the amount of fat I have can have a very positive influence and they've helped me put aside some of the negative feedback I get from society in general about my body.

Teresa


----------



## Actor4hire (Apr 27, 2009)

I love to have my belly rubbed, played with etc. My wife seems to know this and doesn't mind doing it. But I also like to play with a little fat on my partner as well. My wife doesn't like to have her belly (she is all of 180 pounds) rubbed, squeezed etc. So on one hand, she is willing to do it to me to help me (And I think her) get off, but she doesn't like her own played with. Go figure...


----------



## Teleute (Apr 27, 2009)

I have a little different perspective here because I'm BBW and FFA, so I do find the fat-love sexy. But I have had an experience much like you describe with a past boyfriend who had a foot fetish; he was WILD about my feet, but it just wasn't much of an erogenous zone for me. I just turned it into a power game - I'm a domme, so I'd have him worship my feet or use toe-sucking as a reward for good behavior. I was getting off on the power and worship, he was getting off on the feet... win/win!


----------



## Carrie (Apr 27, 2009)

Teleute said:


> I have a little different perspective here because I'm BBW and FFA, so I do find the fat-love sexy. But I have had an experience much like you describe with a past boyfriend who had a foot fetish; he was WILD about my feet, but it just wasn't much of an erogenous zone for me. I just turned it into a power game - I'm a domme, so I'd have him worship my feet or use toe-sucking as a reward for good behavior. I was getting off on the power and worship, he was getting off on the feet... win/win!


I think that's what Tim Gunn would call "making it work", though he's probably not used it in that context before.


----------



## Famouslastwords (Apr 28, 2009)

I have never dated an FA but I think I would like having my fat parts touched and massaged. I don't see any problem with it.

Cors, I'd totally get tattoos just to be your boo.


----------



## TotallyReal (Apr 28, 2009)

I don't expect a girl to always have 100% body confidence, naturally. And I will always be as indulgent of a partner as she is of me. I'm not obsessive about fat, and recognize that hearing me go on and on about her love handles isn't always at the top of the list of things she wants to talk about.

But if she "doesn't get" it and "complains about my sexual preference" then I am always quick to "dump her ass" and "date someone else."


----------



## Les Toil (May 2, 2009)

I dunno. I've never been able to fully relate to women who say things like "I wish he wouldn't obsess over my body/breasts/booms/fat/butt so much. There's more to me than just those things". By that I mean, if a woman wants to constantly ask me to pull my pants down so she can touch and kiss and worship my Johnson (or my arms or my legs, etc...), I thinking there's much worse things in life. I'm not being narcissistic (I'm actually quite down on my physical appearance), I just don't understand how one could get tired from being told some aspect of their body turns them on immensely.  

Of course if you've got a boyfriend that's a rapid butt worshipper and you're trying your best to do the dishes...


----------



## The Orange Mage (May 3, 2009)

Way early on, as I discovered all the FA-ness and FA-connected things about myself, the ideal girl to find to find was a big round girl who just _knew_ she was the cutest, most delicious goddess ever. The secret hope was that she either was into gaining or didn't mind too much if she happened to have gained weight.

But then I noticed how many FAs there were, and how few women there were into gaining, and how most women into gaining were not in my size range, and decided to just lop off that secret hope due to the odds being massively stacked against it. Save it for fantasy-in-my-head time.

But as for the original point of the thread...it's really a drag on things if your partner is completely not into what comes naturally to you. A fat woman who wants to be sexed like a thin woman has no business with an FA like me.


----------



## katherine22 (May 3, 2009)

undrcovrbrothr said:


> Well, I come from a different set of circumstances... you see, my current BBW partner has never felt comfortable about her body, despite the extreme amount of times I tell her how much I love it. The hardest part is trying to convince someone over and over again that they are beautiful as they are, only to deny it and to try and cover it up instead of being proud of it. I just don't know how many more times I can try and express how I feel before I give up altogether... I've been thinking sometimes we may not be a match, and other times I just cave in and let her be miserable in her lack of self-confidence...



It is an incredible experience to be with a fat woman who adores her own body. No one can give another self-love.


----------



## Mini (May 3, 2009)

It feels weird to admit this, but here goes. 

Without the "fat bits," I'd have absolutely no clue what to do with girls. For the longest time, and I mean well into my teens, I didn't even fantasize about sex. Only stuff to do with the fat-lovin'. I'm basically fucked if I'm being intimate with a girl who isn't into it.


----------



## The Orange Mage (May 3, 2009)

Mini said:


> It feels weird to admit this, but here goes.
> 
> Without the "fat bits," I'd have absolutely no clue what to do with girls. For the longest time, and I mean well into my teens, I didn't even fantasize about sex. Only stuff to do with the fat-lovin'. I'm basically fucked if I'm being intimate with a girl who isn't into it.



This. Very this.


----------



## Mini (May 3, 2009)

The Orange Mage said:


> This. Very this.



It makes me sad that there are two of us out there.


----------



## Tad (May 4, 2009)

Mini said:


> For the longest time, and I mean well into my teens, I didn't even fantasize about sex. Only stuff to do with the fat-lovin'.





The Orange Mage said:


> This. Very this.





Mini said:


> It makes me sad that there are two of us out there.



Three. At least with regards to this part:



Mini said:


> For the longest time, and I mean well into my teens, I didn't even fantasize about sex. Only stuff to do with the fat-lovin'.



Then again, almost everything I knew about romance came from Archie Comics, so maybe it wasn't surprising I wasn't thinking about actual sex? When I started dating my wife I desperately went and bought a sex book, to study up on the stuff I was supposed to be focused on.


----------



## Durin (May 5, 2009)

I think there are at least four of us. 

:bow:


----------



## Edens_heel (May 10, 2009)

Five. Definitely five.


----------



## Emma (May 10, 2009)

I got it the first time I was with a fat admirer. It's hard not to when you can see how turned on they are, and I like that


----------



## Duniwin (May 10, 2009)

I'm #6 here, but I have to say, you'll learn the other stuff too, and it becomes very enjoyable as well. Seeing how much your partner is getting turned on by what you are doing is very rewarding.

Good sex in a good relationship is about learning what your partner likes and and really enjoying giving it to them, and then as Teresa said eventually really enjoying it yourself.


----------



## rabbitislove (May 10, 2009)

Dude, 1/2 of my posts here are probably related here.

Usually I end up telling my partner how much I like fat (specifically their fat) and discuss fat celebrities Im crushing on. I usually ease into touching any fat bits very slowly and am trying to become comfortable with discussing it. Ive dated people who are put off by it, and people who had never had it happen but were willing to go along with it. 

I have no idea what would happen if if I met a BHM with the same kinks as me. Frankly I'd die of shock


----------



## nykspree8 (May 14, 2009)

AnnMarie said:


> I'm sorry for those of you who've been with partners who don't get it or barely tolerate it. I think that's a horrible way to have a relationship, even if other things are good - it's a huge disconnect. I've thoroughly enjoyed having that bond and understand with my partners, so I only wish you all that.



I totally agree that it's a huge disconnect. I've been in two relationships where my gfs have understood my "fetishes", and being with them and the ones who haven't understood it is like night and day when it comes to intimacy. And I agree with you as well that I don't think FAs have "fat fetishes". I mean, what else are you gonna do when your gf has a big sexy belly and that's what turns you on...caress it, or rub it, or grab it, right? lol. How is that different than a guy touching a skinny chick anywhere on her body cause he finds her body attractive? Is that considered a "skinny fetish"? There def are "fat fetishes" , don't get me wrong, and I think some are really weird, but fetishes are meant to be weird, that's what makes them a fetish lol. But being attracted to a bbw/ssbbw for her ample physical features is not a fetish.


----------



## Brooklyn Red Leg (May 20, 2009)

Hmmm....well....I've had no problem with tickling/rubbing a BBW's belly that Im intimate with since they usually do something similar to me like play with my moobs. I guess it may be different for a number of us who are BHM/BBW FAs. I usually tell a partner that their stretch marks/blemishes don't bother me because they make them human.


----------



## Tau (May 21, 2009)

I don't understand people, whatever their size, who compartmentalise their bodies into parts and have sexual no-go areas and ok sex areas etc. Not letting a dude rub my tummy or dry hump my inner thigh is like telling him not to give me head or turning down a good rim job - and there's no way I'm doing that!! Good sex surely means using every part of yourself to experience and give pleasure to your partner - no matter how skinny or fat you happen to be? It was pure, pure heaven finding out that there are men who love my elbow cleavage, and back and neck rolls and actually wanna lick my chub-rub. Also, tummy rubs are king!


----------



## NemoVolo (Jun 19, 2009)

I think some of the bigger girls might think that if you're into their fat, that might be the main thing you're interested in. Or at least, the thing that has you attracted to them. 

Personally, I think if the guy can touch it, then he's obviously not bothered by it, but I'd still be shy and self-conscious about letting him. As an FFA, I know why I find soft, big bodies attractive, but when it comes to mine, I have no idea what anyone could see appealing. I've grown up with both of my parents pushing their own self-loathing of their obesity onto me, trying to force me to lose weight so I'm not miserable like they are. While I appreciate the sentiment, all it really did is make me feel ugly, gross, and never good enough. Having moments where your movement causes your shirt to ride up a little and your dad says "Pull your shirt down, I'm embarrassed for you" doesn't really instill moments of "Oh my god, I am _sexy_." For every one time you tell her you think she's beautiful, she's probably had 20 other sources (media, exes, family members trying to help, friends, not-friends, etc) telling her otherwise. 

I've never had a boyfriend, but if I did I'd want him to show my fat places _some_ sort of affection. And to be patient when I'm guilty of sighing and rolling my eyes as his calling me beautiful. 

People who can't deal with negativity make me sad. As someone suffering with chronic depression (since I was 13), it's a part of my life. My insecurity isn't a "pity me" game, it's just that, an insecurity. Some girls worry about their nose, I worry about my body shape. It doesn't mean I can't be happy and have moments where I am confident, though.


----------



## wrenchboy (Nov 2, 2013)

I have been looking for the best place that I could post an amazing experience I had tonight. My wife of 4 years is a ssbbw and I am a moderately sized fa. She knows that I love her body and she doesn't "get it". She has the self loathing/wish-i-had-a-thin-pill desire.
Tonight she was eating a plate of desert. I asked if she enjoyed it. She replied with a pleasurable moan "oh yess!". Without getting too graphic, we enjoyed our first food play with sex. I will tell you what, it was some of the best sex we have had in a while! One night is not going to change years of self loathing. But I think she is Verrrry gradually starting to accept my immense pleasure in her amazingly sexy body. And maybe she is growing in self confidence in general too.
On the other hand I do not understand why she likes to play with my ears during sex.


----------



## bbwsrule (Nov 6, 2013)

wrenchboy said:


> I have been looking for the best place that I could post an amazing experience I had tonight. My wife of 4 years is a ssbbw and I am a moderately sized fa. She knows that I love her body and she doesn't "get it". She has the self loathing/wish-i-had-a-thin-pill desire.
> Tonight she was eating a plate of desert. I asked if she enjoyed it. She replied with a pleasurable moan "oh yess!". Without getting too graphic, we enjoyed our first food play with sex. I will tell you what, it was some of the best sex we have had in a while! One night is not going to change years of self loathing. But I think she is Verrrry gradually starting to accept my immense pleasure in her amazingly sexy body. And maybe she is growing in self confidence in general too.
> On the other hand I do not understand why she likes to play with my ears during sex.



Thanks for sharing this. I always enjoy this type of personal story.

It would seem that many women (and men) are heavier than they would like to be but don't seem able/willing for whatever reason to get to the weight they would like. Self-acceptance (any subject) generally is quite liberating even if it is only partial. Love and (enthusiastic) acceptance from your partner helps many crack the wall of self-loathing. Even so, my wife wouldn't like me obsessing over her fat even though she knows I love it.
I understand to some extent; if she had a crush on my belly button I'd rather not hear about it constantly. I just let her know how much I love the whole package and that works great for me...


----------



## MrRabbit (Nov 22, 2013)

I am an FA with a sweet spot for soft bellies 

My first girl friend was not happy with her size and did not want me touching her belly. This also affected me as an FA, because I would feel guilty for liking her size when she didn't. I was conscious about not being too enthousiastic with her fat bits, but the result was that it was often difficult to get "ready" for sex.

My 2nd girl friend was very understanding about my FA'ness, but due to a previous tummy tuck surgery had lost all feeling in her belly region. I felt selfish if I put my hands too much on her belly, knowing that she did not have any sensation there, and although sex was better with her than with my first girl friend, it was sometimes still difficult.

My current girl friend absolutely loves that fact that I love her fat bits. It is not so much that she considers them an erogenous zone or sexy, but it is knowing that I find her incredibly sexy that gets her going. She absolutely loves it that I am so tactile and cuddly, also in a non-sexual way, for example when we are just watching TV. She also uses it to her advantage and knows how to get me going when she is in the mood for something. Sex with her is really fantastic, for both of us!

I don't need my girl friend to "get" my preference for fat (I think only FAs get that), but I do need that I can feel fully comfortable, not worrying that she will find my preference strange or so. I am a loving partner for whom a big woman is so much more than a big body or big belly, but in bed I do need a partner with whom I can be comfortable enough so that the FA part of my brain can take control.


----------



## Aurora (Nov 22, 2013)

Good thread.

Personally, I can only date FAs. If you're not totally in love with my fat body, it's just not going to work. I love having all my fat bits touched and squeezed and massaged. Belly rubs on a full stuffed belly are the *best.* But I really do have a fat fetish and I'm okay admitting that - fat turns me on, even on myself. It has to be present in some way for me to experience pleasure. 

My boyfriend loves fat chicks, but never really considered himself an "FA" (though he totally is one). He's not turned on by gaining and such like I am (though that my soon change haha), though he's very willing to indulge my fantasies. I feel lucky. Everyone deserves to have someone who fulfills their deepest desires. It creates an intimate bond like none other.


----------



## devinprater (May 11, 2014)

I've had that before. I dated a girl who was like, 250 pounds, and she said my liking of her fat was "hot" but she still wanted to get skinnier. She asked me if when she gets skinny I'd still like her, and I immagined it and I was like "ewww" in my mind. I am not too proud to admit that I lied to her, saying I'd still love her just as much. But really, there isn't anything I like about a skinny girl's body. Fat is just the only thing I'd want. I'm not too sorry about it either. I mean, if a girl can't accept that her fat is beautiful, and that I want it really, really badly, and wants to just get all yucky and thin and boney and disgusting for the monster known as society, then eww, she just can't be mine for long.


----------



## Extinctor100 (May 12, 2014)

devinprater said:


> But really, there isn't anything I like about a skinny girl's body. Fat is just the only thing I'd want. I'm not too sorry about it either. I mean, if a girl can't accept that her fat is beautiful, and that I want it really, really badly, and wants to just get all yucky and thin and boney and disgusting for the monster known as society, then eww, she just can't be mine for long.



I can share part of this sentiment. Part of what makes a big majority of thin women so unattractive is their obsession with maintaining their thinness... which is just as much a turn-off to me as a BBW who is obsessed with blaming her weight for everything bad in her life.

So it can be very unattractive for a BBW to want to lose weight, not even for the plain fact that she would seem physically less desirable to an FA, but because it strikes me as a repulsive trait to modify your body purely due to societal pressure of all things. It's just a very unattractive quality and does indeed evoke the "eww" response from me as well.


----------



## mediaboy (May 13, 2014)

Well when they don't get it I usually rub, poke, fondle, caress, squeeze, grab, and tickle until they get the picture. 

After some one has been made sweet sweet love to and are in a much more relaxed and trusting mood. They usually are more receptive to having their belly or butt rubbed in a post coitus cuddle.

In love and in life words are often rejected with out action to back them up.

You tell a lover you love their belly but to rub it gently until they are so relaxed and do at ease that they fall asleep in your arms without realizing it is to show them you love it.

For my lovers who have had these kind of hang ups, they have lived their while lives hating the parts of them I love. Hiding the places I most want to explore and love on with the lights on.

One doesn't undo that sort of thing with a few phrases and belly pinches.

Remember always, where there is love there is hope.

Ps. I cum on bellies like non fa's come on tits. That usually helps. I don't know how but it does....


----------



## devinprater (May 14, 2014)

Totally true. You can't do that much with online relationships though, which unfortunately where all the fat girls are. Sure their bodies are somewhere in the world, but not in Alabama.


----------



## mediaboy (May 14, 2014)

devinprater said:


> Totally true. You can't do that much with online relationships though, which unfortunately where all the fat girls are. Sure their bodies are somewhere in the world, but not in Alabama.





Get out of Alabama.


----------



## Extinctor100 (May 14, 2014)

I thought Alabama was one of the hot spots for BBW? Sure seems like every guy I know that goes to Alabama single comes back with a really big wife!


----------



## devinprater (May 15, 2014)

Well gosh, sure doesn't seem like it to me. Seems more like there are more in Mississipi and Texas  and maybe Tenessee.


----------



## phelan4022 (May 26, 2014)

First off, I'd like to say what a good topic of discussion this is. Consequently, my partner's perception of her body and how she views my perception of it have been on my mind as of late. For reference, I am a FA in a committed relationship with a BBW who has been and is in an "Empowered Curves" group on Facebook but thought FA's were just mythological creatures, like the unicorn.

Q: FAs, how do you cope if your BBW/BHM does not understand your preference/fetish or enjoy them on the same level (eg. partner might like belly rubs casually but would rather you ignore her tummy completely in bed)?

A: I am well out of the fat closet and though I have been out of the scene for awhile, I have been involved in Size Acceptance since my teens, for at least a decade. I went through a period in my youth where I simply dated chubbier girls but as I grew up I became accustomed, comfortable and proud of my attraction. I will also admit that there is still the fun of the shock value of it and I have literally had people think I was joking when I told them what I was attracted to in women but that is a topic for another thread. Now, I date the kind of women I am attracted to, full figured and confident women. My current partner has good self body image and she wants to lose a little bit of weight for practical reasons as opposed to aesthetic. As I said, she was surprised at my genuine attraction to her figure but after maybe a day or two of discomfort she now enjoys my attraction to her all of her body. It goes both ways with us as well, I formerly was a BHM, 310 lbs at my heaviest, but I lost a significant amount of weight (135 lbs total) and so I have the left over skin from my tummy and love handles, etc. She loves to squish it and touch it and I was uncomfortable with it just a little in the beginning but if she loves it, who am I to complain. I am also fortunate in that my lady just enjoys being touched so all of my touches and kisses are usually happily met.

My personal advice would be that if you are with someone who fundamentally does not understand your sexuality and the things about them that you love are a cause for their own self-loathing, the situation is not tenable. I lived like that for three years with a woman that I loved very much but we ultimately fell apart because I loved her body and she hated it and I felt so incredibly guilty for it every time I saw her look into the mirror. Don't put yourself through that. Don't just give up either but don't let things stay that way if that's how they are. Love them but remember that you cannot change them, only help them change if that is what they want to do for themselves.


----------

