# "I'm a BBW and I like BHM, why is that such a bad thing Thread"



## Surlysomething (Jan 2, 2008)

I'm under the impression that FFA's can only be thin/average women. Why is that?

I'm a bbw and I like BHM and chubby/husky guys. I think as a couple we look great. It's disheartening to hear how many BHM want only thin women. I'm not attracted to thin men. I guess i'm just as out of place as the way you're all coming across.

Bummer.


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## IwannabeVERYfat (Jan 2, 2008)

I think BBW's liking BHM's is a very nice thing


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## HDANGEL15 (Jan 2, 2008)

Surlysomething said:


> I'm under the impression that FFA's can only be thin/average women. Why is that?
> 
> I'm a bbw and I like BHM and chubby/husky guys. I think as a couple we look great. It's disheartening to hear how many BHM want only thin women. I'm not attracted to thin men. I guess i'm just as out of place as the way you're all coming across.
> 
> Bummer.



*THERE are defenitely BHM in BOTH CAMPS here....there just happen to be some very petite FFA that post here and are vocal and post plenty of pics..but I do believe there are many very HOT BHM which I will not name..that are far more partial to BBW + or swing BOTH WAYS HAHAHA*


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## IwannabeVERYfat (Jan 2, 2008)

I would be happy with any FFA who would love Me


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## BLUEeyedBanshee (Jan 2, 2008)

Hey there, I'm the same as you. There just seems to have been an influx of what you've mentioned. Believe me there are all kinds of folks out there...

Here's a pic of me and my guy...he likes me the way I am and vice versa...just sayin'.

Remember variety is the spice of life, sometimes there's more garlic on the shelf than rosemary and sometimes rosemary takes over,and then oregano...ummm I dunno if any of that made a lick of sense.







yikes that makes me realize we need to take some new pictures.


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## Koldun (Jan 3, 2008)

I tend to like women of all shapes and sizes.


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## Tad (Jan 3, 2008)

Just noting: happily married to a BBW (OK, she's barely a BBW these days, but I prefer to keep thinking of her that way). I wish she were an FFA--I would not spend nearly so much time being hungry 

So yah, I think BBW-FFA are the cat's meow. However I'm glad that FFA come in all sizes.

Interestingly, this seems to become a more vocal issue on this board than on the more BBW/FA oriented ones. I think guys tend to be more definite about the body types that they prefer, or something.


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## BeeBee (Jan 3, 2008)

I am about to marry a SSBBW and I am definitely not thin now. (300+) We seem to know what the other is thinking most of the time, even when we are apart, and are very compatible on everything that has come up. I don't dislike thin women either, a lot of things are easier to do with a thin girl, lol. We both like the challenges to intimacy and find that working them out can be more than half the fun, besides we both giggle a lot while trying... I think it is a matter of preference all the way around.


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## Laina (Jan 3, 2008)

I think part of the reason you see so many "where are the thin FFA" posts is due to the societal expectation that BHMs and BBWs will naturally pair off. (Note: I am NOT encouraging this idea, as it would screw up my sex life. Yeah, I'm selfish like that.)

There are plenty of BHM who're into BBWs, but I have a sneaking suspicion that they hang around primarily on the BBW boards, discounting their own weight-related issues in favor of having a larger "playing field", so to speak. (Law of averages, and all that--go to a board that's full of BBWs and you stand a better chance of finding a BBW into your BHMness.)

This board, I think, seems skewed toward smaller FFAs not because we're even necessarily the majority, but because we're more hesistant to post on the other boards (geared toward BBWs) for fear of being "out of place". I know I, personally, tend to veer away from the main boards most of the time. I don't feel like I have much to contribute there, I guess. *shrug*

So, long ramble aside: nothing wrong with being a BBW and an FFA. Just make sure you leave a couple for me, ok?


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 3, 2008)

I like big guys - I married one!!


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## imfree (Jan 3, 2008)

IwannabeVERYfat said:


> I think BBW's liking BHM's is a very nice thing


I think so too, I adore BBW and SSBBW, myself.


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## Melian (Jan 3, 2008)

Laina said:


> I think part of the reason you see so many "where are the thin FFA" posts is due to the societal expectation that BHMs and BBWs will naturally pair off. (Note: I am NOT encouraging this idea, as it would screw up my sex life. Yeah, I'm selfish like that.)
> 
> There are plenty of BHM who're into BBWs, but I have a sneaking suspicion that they hang around primarily on the BBW boards, discounting their own weight-related issues in favor of having a larger "playing field", so to speak. (Law of averages, and all that--go to a board that's full of BBWs and you stand a better chance of finding a BBW into your BHMness.)
> 
> ...



Laina's interpretation sounds pretty accurate


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## Laina (Jan 3, 2008)

Melian said:


> Laina's interpretation sounds pretty accurate



Side note: I totally betrayed my own point and just posted on one of the main boards--thus proving that their is no anti-thin force field around them. 

Really, it's just a matter of posting where I feel like I'm contributing something. I don't like to offer opinions when I have no idea what the situation is like. 

Either that or I'm single-handedly staging a thin-ffa takeover. Hmm. We need flags, or I'm afraid I won't be able to claim any new territory.


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## Surlysomething (Jan 3, 2008)

Laina said:


> I think part of the reason you see so many "where are the thin FFA" posts is due to the societal expectation that BHMs and BBWs will naturally pair off. (Note: I am NOT encouraging this idea, as it would screw up my sex life. Yeah, I'm selfish like that.)
> 
> There are plenty of BHM who're into BBWs, but I have a sneaking suspicion that they hang around primarily on the BBW boards, discounting their own weight-related issues in favor of having a larger "playing field", so to speak. (Law of averages, and all that--go to a board that's full of BBWs and you stand a better chance of finding a BBW into your BHMness.)
> 
> ...





That makes a lot of sense to me. I guess when I became a member I never really thought about the different relationships that much. I sort of assumed that most of the big guys would like most of the big girl's (in the perfect little world in my head) Haha.

Thanks!


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## johnnytattoos (Jan 3, 2008)

I'm a BHM (at least that's the rumor)and I'm attracted to women of all sizes. If we are just talking physical attraction here....I love everything from the thinnest, petite ....to the biggest and squishy-ist. Sexiness has nothing to do with size. But for me...I need much more than a physical attraction...there are a lot of unattractive hot people out there.


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## Ninja Glutton (Jan 3, 2008)

Eh, no one said that was a bad thing. It's just unfair to be pigeonholed as only liking BBWs because that's "all you can get." I don't believe just being fat means that suddenly you're only attracted to people your size. Fat people can love fat people as much as they want (as long as they sit on the other side of the booth lol), but I don't think it's entirely swung one way or the other. Plenty of BHMs who love BBWs.

You all know what I'm attracted to, but that doesnt' mean the whole world is.


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## fatmac (Jan 3, 2008)

I am a bhm and happily married to a bbw for 20+ years. I think it like everything else. All about preference and honesty.


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## Deanna (Jan 3, 2008)

Laina said:


> This board, I think, seems skewed toward smaller FFAs not because we're even necessarily the majority, but because we're more hesistant to post on the other boards (geared toward BBWs) for fear of being "out of place".



Thin chicks get all the love out there in the world (It's true. No sense in denying it) So it feels good that at least here on Dimensions us BBW's are the main draw.


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## Laina (Jan 3, 2008)

Deanna said:


> Thin chicks get all the love out there in the world (It's true. No sense in denying it) So it feels good that at least here on Dimensions us BBW's are the main draw.



While I fully understand this, I think it's silly to jump on me over it. I didn't complain about it--I simply explained why THIS board has more thin women than the main boards.


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## Laina (Jan 3, 2008)

Surlysomething said:


> That makes a lot of sense to me. I guess when I became a member I never really thought about the different relationships that much. I sort of assumed that most of the big guys would like most of the big girl's (in the perfect little world in my head) Haha.
> 
> Thanks!



I think you'll find there are lots of adorable BHMs on this board (and the other boards) who are either exclusively into BBWs or swing "both ways", for lack of a better phrase.

Trust me, it balances out--there may be a rush toward thin FFAs one day, but you can rest assured that someone will be looking for BBW FFAs the next. 

(And I promise, I'm not really staging a take-over. You'll have plenty to choose from!  )


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## Dr. P Marshall (Jan 3, 2008)

Laina said:


> I think part of the reason you see so many "where are the thin FFA" posts is due to the societal expectation that BHMs and BBWs will naturally pair off.



I think Laina is right on this one. The BHM are also in an environment here at Dimensions where being attracted to BBW is expected, so men who are attracted to thinner women may feel the need to state the preference publicly, since here at Dims, it's going to be assumed a man likes BBW until otherwise stated. I personally, always assume any man at Dims prefers BBW until he states otherwise. It also seems to me that BHM that prefer BBW, or have a range of preference, post all over the boards more often than BHM who prefer only thin women and that can make this board seem skewed towards thin women at times. But I can think of at least a couple of our most active and (in my opinion) very important BHM contributors (OK, I'll single them out because I think they're great, edx and William) who are attracted to BBW. Not to mention our resident holy fat man Obesus(yeah, I'm kind of obsessed). And they are certainly not alone.


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## Deanna (Jan 3, 2008)

Laina said:


> While I fully understand this, I think it's silly to jump on me over it. I didn't complain about it--I simply explained why THIS board has more thin women than the main boards.



LOL - I didn't intend to jump on you, nor was I trying to imply that you were complaining. I just had a parallel comment to yours.


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## Laina (Jan 3, 2008)

Deanna said:


> LOL - I didn't intend to jump on you, nor was I trying to imply that you were complaining. I just had a parallel comment to yours.



Fair enough, sorry! As I've said before, I post on the main boards sometimes...I just wait until it's something that I can afford to venture an opinion on.


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## William (Jan 3, 2008)

Hi Laina

I work at a Community Action/Help Agency and the last 4 years I have been working in a department where all the staff and clients are males.

Well I will now be working several hours at the main facility and I remember what I was missing. 

BBW co-workers with combinations of big butts, legs, torsos and lots of cleavage. It is great when a lady has a bigger butt than mine 

William





Laina said:


> I think you'll find there are lots of adorable BHMs on this board (and the other boards) who are either exclusively into BBWs or swing "both ways", for lack of a better phrase.
> 
> Trust me, it balances out--there may be a rush toward thin FFAs one day, but you can rest assured that someone will be looking for BBW FFAs the next.
> 
> (And I promise, I'm not really staging a take-over. You'll have plenty to choose from!  )


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## Fatgirlfan (Jan 3, 2008)

I'm a big guy, not real big----------'bout 290.

I love SSBBWs!!! I used to think that people of the same body type had to match up... Well this is not true, a good friend of mine loved fat girls and he was thin.


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## cammy (Jan 3, 2008)

I also agree with Laina.


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## ffaboots (Jan 4, 2008)

> I'm a bbw and I like BHM and chubby/husky guys...It's disheartening to hear how many BHM want only thin women.



For realsies. Not just on this board, either. I'm a BBW in a _great_ relationship with an SSBHM, and feel like an aberration. It seems like in the "real world," fat guys only want to date physically tiny girls.

That said, it doesn't do any good to focus on that, you know? I mean, sure, speak your piece here, and I totally hear you, IT SUCKS. But it's not so empowering to think "BHM only like skinny girls". There are too many fat guys out there for them to ALL like the same thing. And some guys don't even know they like BBW until they meet the right one! 

*Edited to add:* If a guy's choosing/ruling out women to date based *exclusively* on body type, he's not exactly dream date material anyway.


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## David Bowie (Jan 4, 2008)

Im MBHM


(mini bhm) haha

just sayin i L:smitten:ve biggg girls


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## Laina (Jan 4, 2008)

ffaboots said:


> For realsies. Not just on this board, either. I'm a BBW in a _great_ relationship with an SSBHM, and feel like an aberration. It seems like in the "real world," fat guys only want to date physically tiny girls.
> 
> That said, it doesn't do any good to focus on that, you know? I mean, sure, speak your piece here, and I totally hear you, IT SUCKS. But it's not so empowering to think "BHM only like skinny girls". There are too many fat guys out there for them to ALL like the same thing. And some guys don't even know they like BBW until they meet the right one!
> 
> *Edited to add:* If a guy's choosing/ruling out women to date based *exclusively* on body type, he's not exactly dream date material anyway.



That edit made my day. So, so well said.


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## Surlysomething (Jan 4, 2008)

ffaboots said:


> *Edited to add:* If a guy's choosing/ruling out women to date based *exclusively* on body type, he's not exactly dream date material anyway.


 

true true

I don't do that myself, but i'm naturally attracted to big men. 

Can there be a board for fatties who like other fatties? Ha.


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## William (Jan 4, 2008)

I think that these preferences are OK as long as they are in moderation. I like Fat Women, but I take a gander at many medium and petite ladies that I see during the day.

William



QUOTE=Surlysomething;654430]true true

I don't do that myself, but i'm naturally attracted to big men. 

Can there be a board for fatties who like other fatties? Ha.[/QUOTE]


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## Big_jim (Jan 4, 2008)

Well, I am 6'4" 420 lbs, I'm married to a BBW. Love her beyond all, as she loves me. We are both also attracted to others of all shapes and sizes. And as we are in an open relationship we get to act on some of those.
This in mind, I will say from all I have experienced I have found that a lot of BBW women are only looking for thin guys. It always makes me sad to see size discrimination from someone who is themselves big.

Thats just my two cents though.


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## Laina (Jan 4, 2008)

Big_jim said:


> Well, I am 6'4" 420 lbs, I'm married to a BBW. Love her beyond all, as she loves me. We are both also attracted to others of all shapes and sizes. And as we are in an open relationship we get to act on some of those.
> This in mind, I will say from all I have experienced I have found that a lot of BBW women are only looking for thin guys. It always makes me sad to see size discrimination from someone who is themselves big.
> 
> Thats just my two cents though.



I think there's a difference between preference and discrimination--I'd hardly say that I discriminate against thin guys, but I don't PREFER them. As a result, I feel like it would be unfair to a thin guy for me to date him. After all, who doesn't want to be with someone who adores every inch of them?

It's a trifle unfair to cry "discrimination" over sexual preference, IMO.

...I think I'm going back to lurking after this.


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## Big_jim (Jan 4, 2008)

Laina said:


> I think there's a difference between preference and discrimination--I'd hardly say that I discriminate against thin guys, but I don't PREFER them. As a result, I feel like it would be unfair to a thin guy for me to date him. After all, who doesn't want to be with someone who adores every inch of them?
> 
> It's a trifle unfair to cry "discrimination" over sexual preference, IMO.
> 
> ...I think I'm going back to lurking after this.



Wasnt pointing fingers or anything. Nor was I directing this comment at anyone.
I was also just voicing an opinion.
Lurking is much easier.


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## Surlysomething (Jan 5, 2008)

Why lurk?

What's wrong with joining in? I think ALL the opinions here are worth reading and I enjoy all the different points of view.


Thanks, y'all!


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## Ninja Glutton (Jan 5, 2008)

Bah, I don't think anyone ever said they "exclusively" date tiny girls. I also think it's kind of rude to say they're not "dream date" material just because they have a preference?

It's like telling someone "you date exclusively men? wow... you're no prize pig"

It just seems unfair to assume things about people based on their attractions.

Hell, I don't come in SSBHM threads complaining that BHMs get no love.

Double standards galore.


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## Fat Boy UK (Jan 5, 2008)

I'm a BHM, my gf is a BBW and I always prefer BBW but I do find some slim women attractive. However after the size and softness of a BBW, a slim woman seems slightly disappointing. However its personality that counts after that initial physical attraction.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jan 5, 2008)

Im a ssbbw and I married a chunky guy. He doesn't like to be thought of as a bhm, but he has meats on his bones I think a lot of men consider themselves average sized even when they are a bit fat, which makes the term BHM hard to swallow for some guys, mine included.

The BHM/FFA board has made me feel like an alien as well, for opposite reasons. I learned that a lot of bigger guys loath the idea of a woman my size.


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## Deanna (Jan 5, 2008)

rocczilla said:


> Bah, I don't think anyone ever said they "exclusively" date tiny girls.



Actually, I read that quite often on this board - and the other way around, people who say they exclusively date big girls.

I am hugely attracted to SSBHM's for the most part but I have been known to go out with thin/average men on occasion. This is my hope that I am not sounding like a hypocrite right now.




rocczilla said:


> I also think it's kind of rude to say they're not "dream date" material just because they have a preference?



She said that if they are ruling out women _because_ they don't have the exact body type, then _that_ is not dream date material. 




rocczilla said:


> It's like telling someone "you date exclusively men? wow... you're no prize pig"



How? The category of "men" is so diverse.




rocczilla said:


> Hell, I don't come in SSBHM threads complaining that BHMs get no love.



Well, it's true. In our lives - BBW's get very little love. Friends, family, Hollywood, etc. Any big woman can testify how many times a week she recieves the "You're beautiful - you just need to lose weight" comment. This just scratches the surface. So, yeah, we come to Dimensions and it's awesome that there are men here who wouldn't ever dream to say "You're beautiful - just lose weight." What's the problem?


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## Laina (Jan 5, 2008)

Big_jim said:


> Wasnt pointing fingers or anything. Nor was I directing this comment at anyone.
> I was also just voicing an opinion.
> Lurking is much easier.



Oh, I wasn't trying to sound nearly as defensive as I think I came off--I was just using myself as an example, because I live in my head (most of the time) so I know what goes on there (some of the time).

I happen to draw a line between "sexual preference" and "social discrimination" in my head. I want the freedom to choose qualities I like in a partner, so I don't see anything wrong with others doing the same. (Does that make my point a little more clear?)

Like this: I might turn a blond guy down for a date because I'm not attracted to him, but I wouldn't see his hair color as something that could be used as a slam, either. ...and this just keeps getting more complicated. I need a nap before I type anymore.


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## Laina (Jan 5, 2008)

rocczilla said:


> Bah, I don't think anyone ever said they "exclusively" date tiny girls. I also think it's kind of rude to say they're not "dream date" material just because they have a preference?



I think the point was more that there are qualities other than weight. So if a potential couple already has chemistry and he's refusing to date her solely because she's a BBW...he's not worth chasing. 

And I can see that perspective: I haven't ruled out all thin guys ever just because I'm an FFA. I'm just not particularly looking for one. There's a difference between desiring a thin partner and refusing to see the beauty in a woman who isn't precisely a size two.

Also, lots of guys say they are specifically interested in thin girls--which is fine in and of itself...but I'll bet it's hard to deal with when you feel like you've FINALLY found a place you fit in, only to find out that there're these really exclusive clubs that you just can't belong to. You know what I'm saying?


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## MaryElizabethAntoinette (Jan 5, 2008)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> The BHM/FFA board has made me feel like an alien as well, for opposite reasons. I learned that a lot of bigger guys loath the idea of a woman my size.


Well, those bigger guys who think that can suck it, cuz they are meanies. xP



On a different note, the only thing that really makes someone beautiful or not is who they are. I know in my experience, I've met guys who I find attractive and upon finding out that they are bad people, my attraction to them completely disappears no matter how beautiful they are physically. 
I'm sure many people can relate to that. No matter how big or small or beautiful or ugly anyone is; if you're not a shallow person it's their personality which determines their actual beauty.


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## Surlysomething (Jan 5, 2008)

MaryElizabethAntoinette said:


> On a different note, the only thing that really makes someone beautiful or not is who they are. I know in my experience, I've met guys who I find attractive and upon finding out that they are bad people, my attraction to them completely disappears no matter how beautiful they are physically.
> I'm sure many people can relate to that. No matter how big or small or beautiful or ugly anyone is; if you're not a shallow person it's their personality which determines their actual beauty.


 

Very well said.


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## ffaboots (Jan 5, 2008)

rocczilla said:


> Bah, I don't think anyone ever said they "exclusively" date tiny girls. I also think it's kind of rude to say they're not "dream date" material just because they have a preference?





> there are qualities other than weight. So if a potential couple already has chemistry and he's refusing to date her solely because she's a BBW...he's not worth chasing.



Exactly!!! Thank you, Laina.

You can have a preference. Hell, I have a preference! I'm saying that even though I generally don't find thin guys hot, I've still met a few who were so genuinely great that a mutual attraction developed. Now if I had said to those guys, "You're great, we get along well and I'm really attracted to you, but I don't date anyone who weighs less than 250 pounds," then that would be crazy, right? They would be justified in thinking I was kind of nuts.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 5, 2008)

I hope Laina doesn't really go back to lurking- I find so many of her posts thought-provoking


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## William (Jan 5, 2008)

Hi GEF

I agree, I think that the smaller FFAs here bring ideas to this Board that gives this board a balance that the other boards do not possess. They tend not to look at BHMs from a PC Fat Acceptance way.

William





Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I hope Laina doesn't really go back to lurking- I find so many of her posts thought-provoking


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## Laina (Jan 5, 2008)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I hope Laina doesn't really go back to lurking- I find so many of her posts thought-provoking



Aww...I think that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me on this board. (Honestly.) I lurk more often than not, but I promise I'll try to post more often (and try not to suck so hard at getting my points across, hehe).


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## Ninja Glutton (Jan 5, 2008)

Laina said:


> I think the point was more that there are qualities other than weight. So if a potential couple already has chemistry and he's refusing to date her solely because she's a BBW...he's not worth chasing.
> 
> And I can see that perspective: I haven't ruled out all thin guys ever just because I'm an FFA. I'm just not particularly looking for one. There's a difference between desiring a thin partner and refusing to see the beauty in a woman who isn't precisely a size two.
> 
> Also, lots of guys say they are specifically interested in thin girls--which is fine in and of itself...but I'll bet it's hard to deal with when you feel like you've FINALLY found a place you fit in, only to find out that there're these really exclusive clubs that you just can't belong to. You know what I'm saying?



Ok, I'll definitely agree with that. And I agree with Mary also. It should be the personality which matters first and foremost.

I've myself fallen for many a girl I wouldn't have initially considered based solely on her personality. This holds especially true for people who are obsessive about music and film. Tell me you've seen Bloodfeast and you listen to the Mars Volta and I'm yours lol.

Fat, skinny, tall, short... whoever tucks me in at night is darling to me.


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## GordoNegro (Jan 6, 2008)

I think ssbbw/ssbhm couples are truly beautiful.
I know I would definately want a ssbbw on my arm always.


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## Qit el-Remel (Jan 6, 2008)

If they ever put size limits on being an FFA, I intend to protest it on principle. Just my 2¢.

Any notion that FFAs must be a certain size is probably rooted in shallowness: Namely, people presume that if a woman dates fat men, she's only _really_ acting on her own preferences if she isn't "mainstream pretty." Otherwise, she's "desperate," has "low standards," or "can't do any better." (The same applies to male FAs. And since the media pays more attention to them than to us FFAs, it's easier to dig up the crap that people talk about _them_.)

Also, I've found myself completely "switching off" on a big guy who turned out to be a jerk. Not to mention having to do quite a bit of soul-searching before deciding _not_ to sleep with a trim 19-year-old Marine PFC who normally _wouldn't_ be my type.

-Qit


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## Tad (Jan 7, 2008)

Laina said:


> ...I think I'm going back to lurking after this.



Don't you dare! Well, OK, you can if you really want to....but please don't! I'm sure I'm not the only one who appreciates your contributions. :bow:


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## LisaInNC (Jan 7, 2008)

Ok I stumbled upon this thread and I had to throw in my two cents. Now, the bhm on this board who only like thin women thats cool because there are bbw who wouldnt look twice at a bhm. To me this defeats the purpose of a "fat movement" but thats just this girls opinion. I think when we scream we want to be accepted by society but dont accept the opposite sex in the same situation then we really arent ready for a movement. 
Have you ever heard an african-american (I am very close to puking from political correctness) say they would never date another african-american because of the color of their skin? I have. It makes no sense. Think about it.


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## William (Jan 8, 2008)

Hi Lisa

I agree, I am really turned off by Fat People who's attitude about Fat people of the other gender is barely better than society's. Why even criticize society if we are going to do the same thing? 

I am not including people with moderate preferences, but people who like the Fat haters "shout out" their preferences, this also includes skinny people that say that they would never date a skinny person.

William





LisaInNC said:


> Ok I stumbled upon this thread and I had to throw in my two cents. Now, the bhm on this board who only like thin women thats cool because there are bbw who wouldnt look twice at a bhm. To me this defeats the purpose of a "fat movement" but thats just this girls opinion. I think when we scream we want to be accepted by society but dont accept the opposite sex in the same situation then we really arent ready for a movement.
> Have you ever heard an african-american (I am very close to puking from political correctness) say they would never date another african-american because of the color of their skin? I have. It makes no sense. Think about it.


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## Molly (Jan 8, 2008)

Just thought I would share...

I like the fact that dimensions is just many voices coming together to talk. Even though many people have pictures on their avatars, I still find myself reading what they have to say before ever even caring to see what they look like. I love being able to read thought-provoking arguments and discussions without being persuaded by appearances. 
If we were all in a room together talking, would we say things in a different way? Would we even talk to each other?

There are so many wonderful people who I am sure are just as gorgeous in real life as they are in text here. I find that it is nice to hear what the other teams have to say. And I like that there are many teams, but nobody wins or loses.


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## Tad (Jan 8, 2008)

Molly said:


> Just thought I would share...
> 
> I like the fact that dimensions is just many voices coming together to talk. Even though many people have pictures on their avatars, I still find myself reading what they have to say before ever even caring to see what they look like. I love being able to read thought-provoking arguments and discussions without being persuaded by appearances.
> If we were all in a room together talking, would we say things in a different way? Would we even talk to each other?
> ...



Just by the way, there is an option, reachable from your control panel, to turn off avatars (also pictures in the threads). So should you ever want to set it up that you only see pictures when you go to them (look at someone's profile, click on the link for the picture), you can do so.

And yah, I like 'meeting' people through text first too.

-Ed


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## Nerdzilla (Jan 9, 2008)

Hi, long time listener, first time caller... 

Me, I prefer the less-than-skinny types but certainly don't discriminate since for me its all about the face and especially the eyes!


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## Tad (Jan 9, 2008)

Nerdzilla said:


> Hi, long time listener, first time caller...
> 
> Me, I prefer the less-than-skinny types but certainly don't discriminate since for me its all about the face and especially the eyes!



Welcome! You might want to go say hi also on the intro thread, at the top of the list--more people will see you there. And if you go digging farther into the archives you'll find some threads talking about BHMs and nerdism--you are far from alone!

Oh, and I chuckled at your sig--reminds me a lot of a friend of mine. (I never really got into reading Lovecraft or playing Call of Cthulu, but I can appreciate humorous references).

Anyway, I hope we hear a lot more from you and about you.

Regards;

-Ed


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## beckyking (Jan 9, 2008)

Surlysomething said:


> I'm under the impression that FFA's can only be thin/average women. Why is that?
> 
> I'm a bbw and I like BHM and chubby/husky guys. I think as a couple we look great. It's disheartening to hear how many BHM want only thin women. I'm not attracted to thin men. I guess i'm just as out of place as the way you're all coming across.
> 
> Bummer.



YES!
I have the same question with you!


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## Buffetbelly (Jan 10, 2008)

Fat on fat love is a beautiful thing. Since age 10, I always thought I was only interested in chubby to SSBBW sized women. I have since found that I can be attracted to skinny (= non-BBW) women, but only if they are FFA's! Their FFA-ness and their willingness to touch my fat body in a sensuous way allows me to appreciate them romantically. Thus I have recently expanded my "romantic possibility space" to include:

*Any BBW*
*An FFA of any size*
Is that broad-minded enough? (I certainly have broads on my mind! )


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## Ojiryojoji (Jan 10, 2008)

When did this start? I honestly dont think i've ever seen a BHM that didnt want anything but a BBW.lol

Unless i've stumbled into Bizzaro World......again.


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## Rounderly (Jan 10, 2008)

Buffetbelly said:


> I have recently expanded my "romantic possibility space" to include:
> 
> *Any BBW*
> *An FFA of any size*
> Is that broad-minded enough?



YES...I am exactly the same way. As long as someone is fat and both people like it that way, it doesn't really matter to me who the fat one is (although BOTH is an intriguing possibility that I hope to experience soon!).


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## asterix (Jan 11, 2008)

When I met my wife she was a BBW and I was an FA. Two years into our relationship we had an honest discussion about weight. We admitted to each other we preferred to be fatter then we were then. A year later I was a BHM dating an SSBBW. Thirty years later I am still married to my SSBBW and I guess, at 330 lbs., I am an SSBHM. 

Relax and don't look for your BHM so hard, He might be waiting for you to notice he is standing next to you.


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## stefanie (Jan 11, 2008)

asterix said:


> Relax and don't look for your BHM so hard, He might be waiting for you to notice he is standing next to you.



Good point. My husband and I have gotten a lot larger since we have been married (over two decades now.) It just takes some time, but often nature does the work... ; )


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## Laina (Jan 12, 2008)

edx said:


> Don't you dare! Well, OK, you can if you really want to....but please don't! I'm sure I'm not the only one who appreciates your contributions. :bow:



I guess technically I'm not lurking--I'm more falling off the face of the planet because work gets crazy. But I'm back for the time being. Forgive me?


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## Surlysomething (Jan 13, 2008)

I really appreciate everyone's addition to this thread.


Thanks!

:bow:


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## Ang3L (Jan 13, 2008)

I'm a BBW who likes BHMs its defiantly not a bad thing. If anyone doesn't like it thats their problem.


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## Aurora1 (Jan 13, 2008)

Technically...you could say that I am a BBW who likes BHM. The truth is I have always been attracted to larger men, I've never been attracted to what some people see as "scrawny" guys. Even if I lost weight and wasn't a BBW anymore I would still be attracted to larger guys because it's just my preference and that doesn't change even if my own size changed.

It's also not just about size. There's so much more about someone that attracts me to them other than their size. However, I usually know if there is a basic physical attraction before a guy even opens his mouth. lol I think that's the same with everyone though. The chemistry is there or it isn't...regardless of size. I have just always felt the chemistry was there for me with bigger guys....doesn't need to be all muscle, doesn't need to be all fat..just the perfect combination of both makes me melt. LOL :wubu:


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## stefanie (Jan 14, 2008)

Laina said:


> I guess technically I'm not lurking--I'm more falling off the face of the planet because work gets crazy. But I'm back for the time being. Forgive me?



I haven't been around very long, but I for one find your posts interesting. Hope work lets up a bit for you soon.

*Aurora1*, that's my experience, too - there's just a "chemistry" with some people that's almost magical.


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## T_Devil (Jan 15, 2008)

Interesting topic, it just kind of caught my eye.
I'm 6ft 2in tall guy and I weigh in at just at 400 lbs. I totally love BBW (ask anyone who knows me, they'll tell you). I'm open about it mainly because I like not having to live in a lie. I'm also married to a great BBW as well. She makes me happier than I ever thought I could be.

To the topic at hand, I've never met an FFA in real life. I guess that's how a lot of BBW feel about FA's. I do know they exist, but probobly not in my town. I don't think it would have changed my preferance in women had I met one early on as I was always more into bigger girls, but that's not to say I wouldn't have ever dated a skinny girl. Girls are girls, and I like girls... well, most of them. There are a few harpies out in the world, but that is more of a personality disorder than anything.

I think any person that has a preferance for a person of size ought to be up front about it. Don't feel out of place. I think it really is awesome that there are skinny girls that activly seek out fat guys. That makes me happy and it satisfies my sense of proportion in a social sense. Plenty of skinny guys go for BBW and plenty of BBW Go for Skinny guys, so why not have it the other way around as well?

As for me, I'm a fat-on-fat kind of guy. That's just how I roll. But, in the great lovefest that life can sometimes be, Skinny people are invited to the orgy in my mind as well.

Best example I can think of is Last year at the Bash at the Flamingo, when the bashers took over the topless sunbathing pool. There were a few skinny chicks amongst the sea of flesh and they were having a good time. I think it was because they didn't feel a need to be competitive and catty and just decided to enjoy themselves amongst fat people who were having fun themselves. It was that day I got to see skinny chicks having fun with fat people. Up until then, I had always thought skinny chicks just kind of secretly loathed fat people, but then I saw that that just wasn't the case.

So I don't have a problem with skinny-on-fat or fat-on-skinny. It's just fine with me because it doesn't change who I am. I think we should all get along.


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## stefanie (Jan 15, 2008)

T_Devil said:


> As for me, I'm a fat-on-fat kind of guy. That's just how I roll.



LOLOL, good pun! I just figured out what "rep" is and how to wield it, and you got some for that remark.


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## imfree (Nov 6, 2011)

Surlysomething said:


> I'm under the impression that FFA's can only be thin/average women. Why is that?
> 
> I'm a bbw and I like BHM and chubby/husky guys. I think as a couple we look great. It's disheartening to hear how many BHM want only thin women. I'm not attracted to thin men. I guess *i'm just as out of place* as the way you're all coming across.
> 
> Bummer.



Cool, Surly, from the male side, as a BHM who adores BBW/SSBBW, I feel exactly the same way!


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## appleleafer (Nov 6, 2011)

Rise, old thread, rise and live again!!


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## savethemurlocs11 (Nov 6, 2011)

I'm a bbw who hasn't dated a man under 300 pounds in the past 4 or so od years XD


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## BHMforBBW (Nov 9, 2011)

Well, I think everyone understands that real people relate to real people: which means everything about the person that defines them: looks, personality, intellect, sense of humor, selflessness, generosity, kindness, etc.

As it relates to this topic, I'd like to simply respond with respect to PHYSICAL preferences.

I'm a BHM - 6' and 325 lbs. I unabashedly am attracted to super busty bbws / ssbbws who are also FFAs.

It is what it is, and I can't help myself!

That said, for any real interaction to take place, she and I obviously need to have synergy and chemistry on all of the other attributes, some of which I list above.

I don't believe this makes me shallow, or discriminatory. I have also had wonderful relationships with women who don't fit my preferred physical ideal. I think as human beings we all like what we like, and seek it out with respect to exercising our preferences. That said, serendipity sometimes comes into play and occasionally - can broaden our horizons. 

I still prefer bigger, softer, more voluptuous gals though! lol


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## KevinW91 (Nov 10, 2011)

I like both bigger girls and skinny girls. Each has their own merits. But any girl who finds me attractive is okay in my book.


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## samuraiscott (Nov 10, 2011)

Surlysomething said:


> I'm under the impression that FFA's can only be thin/average women. Why is that?
> 
> I'm a bbw and I like BHM and chubby/husky guys. I think as a couple we look great. It's disheartening to hear how many BHM want only thin women. I'm not attracted to thin men. I guess i'm just as out of place as the way you're all coming across.
> 
> Bummer.



I Love BBW's


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## Deanna (Nov 12, 2011)

KevinW91 said:


> I like both bigger girls and skinny girls. Each has their own merits.



Most straight BHMs I know think like this. They want a _woman_. Levels of attraction differ from person to person, not just a theoretical size. 

I am definitely into fat guys but I will not turn someone away because he is thin/average/buff. I am a face and brain girl first, and if we have a connection, I will find him freaking sexy, period.


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## Fatgirlfan (Nov 12, 2011)

I posting this because it is a milestone post. I have nothing new to add, except I'm a big hefty guy who likes fat girls.


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## KevinW91 (Nov 13, 2011)

Deanna said:


> Most straight BHMs I know think like this. They want a _woman_. Levels of attraction differ from person to person, not just a theoretical size.
> 
> I am definitely into fat guys but I will not turn someone away because he is thin/average/buff. I am a face and brain girl first, and if we have a connection, I will find him freaking sexy, period.




Exactly. The first look at on a girl is her face. If she has a pretty face then I'm probably gonna like her. (but probably not talk to her because I'm terribly shy in real life. lol) Then when I get to know her it's her sense of humor and personality that keeps me.


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## The Orange Mage (Nov 16, 2011)

I'm a skinny male FA, and once or twice a girl I've been interested in (who obviously is a BBW) will shoot me down because...she likes chubby guys! And you know what, I don't even get mad, instead I get a big grin and wish her luck, because we BOTH love the chubby folk and therefore are comrades.


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## analikesyourface (Nov 16, 2011)

The Orange Mage said:


> I'm a skinny male FA, and once or twice a girl I've been interested in (who obviously is a BBW) will shoot me down because...she likes chubby guys! And you know what, I don't even get mad, instead I get a big grin and wish her luck, because we BOTH love the chubby folk and therefore are comrades.



I used to go chubby chasing with my skinny male FA friend. Good times were had. Many awkward times with a lot of chubbiness in one cavelier, but good times nonetheless


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## Deanna (Nov 16, 2011)

The Orange Mage said:


> I'm a skinny male FA, and once or twice a girl I've been interested in (who obviously is a BBW) will shoot me down because...she likes chubby guys!



I take issue with people shooting down advances because the interested party does not have a specific body type. Physical attraction _is_ uber important but to say "Sorry, you aren't fat enough" is no better than saying "You aren't buff enough / You don't have that tight little bikini body I dig" 

It just doesn't sit right with me.

And I know it's been bitched to death on here.


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## savethemurlocs11 (Nov 17, 2011)

The Orange Mage said:


> I'm a skinny male FA, and once or twice a girl I've been interested in (who obviously is a BBW) will shoot me down because...she likes chubby guys! And you know what, I don't even get mad, instead I get a big grin and wish her luck, because we BOTH love the chubby folk and therefore are comrades.



See I like really big guys or fit guys....

I just dont really like guys in the 250-300 range. But everyone is different and there are exceptions to my general rule. lol


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## project219 (Nov 17, 2011)

To be rather honest, I don't have much of a preference of size for women. I like thin women and BBWs of all sizes and shapes equally, I don't discriminate. 

I'm more interested in who they are on the inside, I know that's EXTREMELY over used, but it's the truth for me. If they have similar tastes in hobbies and whatnot, I'm smitten. BBW or not. :wubu:


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## bigmac (Nov 17, 2011)

analikesyourface said:


> I used to go chubby chasing with my skinny male FA friend. Good times were had. Many awkward times with a lot of chubbiness in one *cavelier*, but good times nonetheless



 Back in the day I had to trade in my 1979 Mustang for a 1978 Dodge pickup truck when it became apparent the Mustang's back seat was just not going to work anymore.


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## analikesyourface (Nov 17, 2011)

bigmac said:


> Back in the day I had to trade in my 1979 Mustang for a 1978 Dodge pickup truck when it became apparent the Mustang's back seat was just not going to work anymore.



Haha, well, I mean, the dude of my choice was 6'4, and 350 xD and it was his car. And it wasn't even the four door model.

Good times, indeed.


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## Helen53105 (Nov 17, 2011)

project219 said:


> To be rather honest, I don't have much of a preference of size for women. I like thin women and BBWs of all sizes and shapes equally, I don't discriminate.
> 
> I'm more interested in who they are on the inside, I know that's EXTREMELY over used, but it's the truth for me. If they have similar tastes in hobbies and whatnot, I'm smitten. BBW or not. :wubu:



That's the way everyone should think!


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## bigmac (Nov 18, 2011)

analikesyourface said:


> Haha, well, I mean, the dude of my choice was 6'4, and 350 xD and it was his car. And it wasn't even the four door model.
> 
> Good times, indeed.



Yes good times  Still remember the police constable rapping on the foggy back window with his flashlight and then demanding to know _"how old are you girl"_? (She was 19 but looked young.)


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## Fat Brian (Nov 18, 2011)

bigmac said:


> Back in the day I had to trade in my 1979 Mustang for a 1978 Dodge pickup truck when it became apparent the Mustang's back seat was just not going to work anymore.



A few failed attempts at car sex, which usually ended with us abandoning the inside of the car and finishing outside, led to our purchase of our Suburban. With the back seat out and the second row folded down there is plenty of room for making with the sexy time, even at a combined 700+ pounds. Rolling shag wagon FTW!!!!


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## WomanlyHips (Nov 19, 2011)

Maybe I'm weird but I enjoy the contrast of my body to someone else's. Always preferring a lover that was really-really skinny, or considerably larger then myself (I'm 5'11" and about 290lbs.). My current is a BHM (much-much larger then myself), he's incredibly sexy and self assured, that's an incredible turn-on. Standing next to him, I feel feel pretty damn dainty, which is a rarity considering my height and size. Good, good, stuff!


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## bromad1972 (Nov 19, 2011)

Attraction is highly subjective and depends on a LOT of different factors.

I am 6' 280 - 300 lbs and am attracted to what a lot of guys would call spinners, very tiny women. I am also attracted to women with curves. I am attracted to women! 

But I do not think that there should be prejudice put upon anyone for some things that are essentially out of there control.

Are you attracted to men who are of a different race? Different intelligence level? Are left handed?

There are so many differences among us and who we are attracted to that arguing the point is mute. We should be here to support each other as big beautiful people and those who love us for being that way.

Maybe I am wrong....I AM new here. :blush:


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## analikesyourface (Nov 20, 2011)

Fat Brian said:


> A few failed attempts at car sex, which usually ended with us abandoning the inside of the car and finishing outside, led to our purchase of our Suburban. With the back seat out and the second row folded down there is plenty of room for making with the sexy time, even at a combined 700+ pounds. Rolling shag wagon FTW!!!!



Me and my current boytoy (boyfriend whom I'm in an open relationship with) tried suburban sex. I think I would have much preferred regular car sex with him because he's small and I'd like to try it xD

Or rather, not sex, but our silly things we do while waiting to have sex. Oh, the silliness of dating a skinny dude and waiting for sex. oh golly.


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## MaxArden (Nov 23, 2011)

Always been a BHM and always had a preference for BBWs. Just wired that way.


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## Pinktutu (Nov 24, 2011)

I agree that it's silly to rule out someone because of their outward appearance, however, most people can not help what or who rather that are sexually attracted to. I've dated thinner men, but my most sensual and comfortable relationships have been with men that are BHM or SSBHM. I've always been attracted to big chunky men, even when I was smaller.


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## Deanna (Nov 25, 2011)

Pinktutu said:


> I agree that it's silly to rule out someone because of their outward appearance, however, most people can not help what or who rather that are sexually attracted to. I've dated thinner men, but my most sensual and comfortable relationships have been with men that are BHM or SSBHM. I've always been attracted to big chunky men, even when I was smaller.



This is all true for me. I believe in giving people a chance as long as they aren't a douche. Just because thin men in the past did not excite me the way BHM/SSBHM do, doesn't mean I can't be surprised in the future by someone different.


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## Pinktutu (Nov 25, 2011)

Deanna said:


> This is all true for me. I believe in giving people a chance as long as they aren't a douche. Just because thin men in the past did not excite me the way BHM/SSBHM do, doesn't mean I can't be surprised in the future by someone different.



Right, you never know. But I do love me some chunky monkeys tho :smitten:


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## Deanna (Nov 26, 2011)

Pinktutu said:


> But I do love me some chunky monkeys tho :smitten:



I will sing chunky monkey praises until I end up rotting in the earth.


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## Wanderer (Nov 27, 2011)

Personally, I'm just looking for a woman who's smart and imaginative with a sense of humor. If she's into the same things as I am, that's fine... if not, still fine.


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## Pinktutu (Nov 27, 2011)

Wanderer said:


> Personally, I'm just looking for a woman who's smart and imaginative with a sense of humor. If she's into the same things as I am, that's fine... if not, still fine.


I like to share interests too but ya it's fine if they have separate interests, he can dig golf but odds are I'm not gonna play


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