# Do you ever find weight gain unattractive?



## Tad (Aug 5, 2009)

Obviously not all FA are feeders/encouragers. But the stereotype is that all FA would always prefer their partner to be fatter.

Fellow FA (of either gender, of course): have you ever had a partner gain weight and really not been crazy about it? Or kind of wished that a partner would lose some weight?


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## The Orange Mage (Aug 5, 2009)

Nope, never.


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## exile in thighville (Aug 5, 2009)

yes. some people in retrospect, looked better smaller, or they don't gain in the right places. it's not the weightgain itself that's unattractive, but who it's framing. sucks to be true but it is.


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## Teleute (Aug 5, 2009)

I have - I had a girlfriend who was just the chunky side of average, maybe a 14-16, and she got really depressed and gained weight very quickly. She was so unhappy, and she was feeling so many unpleasant physical effects that it was just an incredibly negative experience, and I just wanted her to be feeling better again even though I found her softer, larger body to be attractive.

Then again, I am probably biased on this, because I went through basically the same thing myself. The depression-based weight gain was so hard on my body that I just hurt all the time. After I got treated for the depression and actually started exercising and eating well again, I lost some weight quickly but put it back on fairly soon - and the second weight gain was great, I reached the shape I wanted without the physical (and mental) discomfort. I guess that's probably what I was hoping would happen with my girlfriend too, but we broke up before she ever got treatment for the depression  Sigh... I haven't seen her in years, I hope she's doing better now.


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## ESPN Cutie (Aug 5, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> yes. some people in retrospect, looked better smaller, or they don't gain in the right places. it's not the weightgain itself that's unattractive, but who it's framing. sucks to be true but it is.



*Exactly. While I've never had this happen to me, I can see how it could be considered unattractive.

When you want someone to gain weight, part of the fantasy (atleast for me) is the picture in your mind of how the added weight is going to look on them. Some people may even have an "ideal" of how they want the weight gain to appear on their partner's body and if it doesn't occur this way, it may be unattractive. Although, I am also wondering if unattractive is too strong a word in this case. There's a difference between the weight gain being unattractive and being a "disappointment" (for lack of better term), IMO.

Also, I wonder how realisitic the FA is being here. So let's say that you want your partner to gain weight, but you don't want their face to change and get fatter; yet, that's where their weight gain goes. Were you being unrealisitic in not wanting their face to change? Probably. Do you find it unattractive? Maybe. Are you disappointed? Probably. 

I think the word I would use might be disappointed instead of unattractive, because unattractive makes it sound like a turn off.*


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## Jon Blaze (Aug 5, 2009)

It varies and can go either way, but it's general rule in that I'm not into the idea of changes period. I mean, it's my partner's prerogative, but I wouldn't push a loss or gain on the basis of attractiveness.


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## The Fez (Aug 5, 2009)

Not really, no, at least I haven't yet anyway. That said, I've not been in a relationship, so I dunno how it would affect it in different ways. At face value though, not a problem.


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## MisterGuy (Aug 5, 2009)

I find certain types of WG unappealing. The way many Latina women seem to gain weight right to their midsections and upper torsos, so they get this miniature linebacker look. Not my thing.

Also, in general, when WG moves into the realm of near-immobility/superobesity, I tend to lose interest. All the accouterments--motorized wheelchairs, specially made furniture and clothes, etc.--make it seem less like a sexy lifestyle choice and more like a medical condition. Note that I am not passing judgment on people who are into this.


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## joh (Aug 5, 2009)

I feel along the same lines as Jon Blaze and MisterGuy. It's unattractive when either your partner doesn't want to gain, or it may limit your partner in someway that displeases them.

Generally, I've also found that weight gain into the 600+ range is not for me, heh.


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## StarWitness (Aug 5, 2009)

My ex unintentionally gained a fair amount of weight while we were together, maybe 75 lbs or so from the time we met to when he was at his highest weight several months before we broke up. However, it made him really unhappy, primarily because he had family members with adult onset diabetes and was afraid of the same thing happening to him if he didn't manage his weight. Of course, I liked his pudge and that there was more of it, but his feelings about the matter completely undermined the attraction that I would have otherwise felt towards him gaining.


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## exile in thighville (Aug 6, 2009)

ESPN Cutie said:


> Also, I wonder how realisitic the FA is being here. So let's say that you want your partner to gain weight, but you don't want their face to change and get fatter; yet, that's where their weight gain goes. Were you being unrealisitic in not wanting their face to change? Probably. Do you find it unattractive? Maybe. Are you disappointed? Probably.
> 
> I think the word I would use might be disappointed instead of unattractive, because unattractive makes it sound like a turn off.[/B]



this is a whole different issue though, when so-called "fas" - really inflation fetishists - expect a partner to bloom into a spherical fluffy cloud when the human body really stretches, drags, sags, hangs, marks, pimples, dimples, doubles. not understanding what comes with the territory is certainly the problem of the fa in question, no tragedy on behalf of the gainer. disappoint yourself early and get out of the game if you don't grasp what you can and can't do. or find a wealthy feedee into body modification.


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## bdog (Aug 6, 2009)

Never happened poorly to a partner, but I've seen it happen in other women. I was once 20 lbs heavier and I didn't wear it too well. At least IMO. 

Also, I think I am highly attuned to how a woman's weight will be distributed if she gains. I'm sure there's some other FAs who are with me on this.


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## Melian (Aug 6, 2009)

Can't say I've ever been unattracted to a partner's gain, but then again I've only been with 3-4 guys who gained while we were together. Also, it was never more than 80 lbs or so. 

I can say for sure that I would be turned off if an active fat guy gained to the point of immobility. Turned off, but mostly scared...


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## Durin (Aug 6, 2009)

I am uniformly positive about a Partners Weight Gain. I Like It. However I understand that my partner many times does not because of the difficuly entailed.


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## thatgirl08 (Aug 6, 2009)

Personally, weight gain (in women) is almost universally attractive to me until you start venturing into immobility territory, which, imo, is much more appealing in fantasy.


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Aug 6, 2009)

It depends on the person and the amount of weight.


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## Tau (Aug 7, 2009)

I don't enjoy soft fat men - I prefer big hard stomachs, strong arms and shoulders. The jelly kind of fat on men just does not do it for me. On women - the moment you can't move, look miserable and uncomfortable, then the attraction for me takes a severe nose dive.


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## roddles (Aug 8, 2009)

ESPN Cutie said:


> *Also, I wonder how realisitic the FA is being here. So let's say that you want your partner to gain weight, but you don't want their face to change and get fatter; yet, that's where their weight gain goes. Were you being unrealisitic in not wanting their face to change? Probably. Do you find it unattractive? Maybe. Are you disappointed? Probably.*



I guess I am guilty of being unrealistic too. I had a girlfriend who gained lots of weight. unfortunately, she put all her weight into her thighs and was complaining of chafing all the time. She had a rash between her legs from all the rubbing. sometimes she couldn't walk. I found this rather unattractive. (That is not why i left her, she was also a mental case) Also double and tripple chins are not the most attractive for me. So yes I plead guilty


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## nikola090 (Aug 8, 2009)

Weight gain is one of the principal element that took me on BBW-FA world...so I like and is one on my favourite fantasy, but as said thatgirl...until a limit


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## anybodys (Aug 8, 2009)

Teleute said:


> Then again, I am probably biased on this, because I went through basically the same thing myself. The depression-based weight gain was so hard on my body that I just hurt all the time.



I'm the opposite-- I lose weight when I'm depressed (and so does my boyfriend) and tend to plump up if I'm happy, so thinness for me is always associated with something being wrong in my life.


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## Tracii (Aug 8, 2009)

I gained a lot going thru a bad marriage and messy divorce.The stress and anxiety of dealing with a guy you could never depend on,cheating,lying,drinking that kind of stuff caused me to eat all the time for comfort.
The weight seemed to cause an inner loathing and hatred for how fat my body was.I felt I looked so terrible and thought who would ever be interested in me.
That feeling drove me to diet and excersize and losing all the weight.
This time the weight has gone different places and I love how it feels.
Maybe eating when your life is good your body reacts differently.


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## Mini (Aug 9, 2009)

Call me an asshole, but I think it's the rare dude that looks better chunkier than thinner/more muscular.

Exceptions to this rule include Seth Rogan, for whom I have an odd man-crush, and Kevin Smith, who I adore regardless of what he looks like.


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## Amandy (Aug 9, 2009)

Mini said:


> Call me an asshole, but I think it's the rare dude that looks better chunkier than thinner/more muscular.



You're an asshole


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## Esther (Aug 10, 2009)

Mini said:


> Call me an asshole, but I think it's the rare dude that looks better chunkier than thinner/more muscular.
> 
> Exceptions to this rule include Seth Rogan, for whom I have an odd man-crush, and Kevin Smith, who I adore regardless of what he looks like.



I disagree SO MUCH. But I'm biased on that one


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## rabbitislove (Aug 20, 2009)

Esther said:


> I disagree SO MUCH. But I'm biased on that one



Coincidentally we have the same bias 

Im not much into the whole gainer thing, if a guy Im with gains unintentionally, cool. 

But Im more into the 200 - 400 lb range of BHMs and dont go much over. Anything else I feel is too much for my tastes, and if weight gain interferes with health and causes my partner to be misrable it stops being pleasurable. (with the exception of some cuties on the BHM board :wubu: )


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## Chimpi (Aug 30, 2009)

Nope. Whether there was a 5 pound gain, a 50 pound gain, a 500 pound gain, or a 5000 pound gain, it's all really attractive to me.


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## exile in thighville (Aug 31, 2009)

Mini said:


> Call me an asshole, but I think it's the rare dude that looks better chunkier than thinner/more muscular.
> 
> Exceptions to this rule include Seth Rogan, for whom I have an odd man-crush, and Kevin Smith, who I adore regardless of what he looks like.



from the perspective of a non-fa, most old skinny dudes look weird and desiccated to me. whereas bigger older dudes in the alec baldwin mold keep their look together and make more sense.

kevin smith looks like an absolute turd.


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## joswitch (Aug 31, 2009)

In answer to OP - no, never... If I find a girl hott already and then she gets fatter then I've found she's just as hott/even hotter to me.. Of the 3 ex gfs i have dated who gained while we were together - each and every one I found desirable before, during and after them gaining.. XD My experience is I admit limited to gfs gaining 10 to 40lbs or so.. And all 3 of those ex's at least didn't *hate* their gain.. They were like meh/don't like it much/not bothered.. If a girl's really truly miserable about gaining some/tens of pounds, that's not hott, cos I feel wrong/bad about being turned on by something that makes someone I care for miserable... Hence why I should not be dating girls who do have total meltdown if they gain... I don't just mean the odd tearful moment.. Everyone has down-on-themselves days.. I mean like enduring hardcore miserable about it...


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## Rowan (Aug 31, 2009)

Tad said:


> Obviously not all FA are feeders/encouragers. But the stereotype is that all FA would always prefer their partner to be fatter.
> 
> Fellow FA (of either gender, of course): have you ever had a partner gain weight and really not been crazy about it? Or kind of wished that a partner would lose some weight?



Asking if someone finds weight gain unattractive? You better be ready to be read the riot act lol


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## nykspree8 (Sep 2, 2009)

I definitely wouldn't mind a girl I'm with putting on a few pounds here and there, but not on purpose. If it happens, it happens. I think purposeful gaining is unhealthy, mainly because you're in-taking so much unhealthy food to reach your goal, that well, it's unhealthy. I don't think some people understand how much of a toll unnatural weight gain takes on their bodes. All the girls I've been with for being 350+ have always been healthy and active and I've never had any issues with being able to go out and enjoy doing whatever strikes our fancy, and that's the way I like it.


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## cc_2k2 (Sep 6, 2009)

I've recently started talking to a woman who is already by most standards a BBW...with that kind of situation it is easier to predict how she might look with 20 or 50 pounds more since she is already carrying extra weight around her. 

Though I might find that reassuring I personally believe that someone can get too carried away with weight gain, since I do have upper limits on what I find attractive (think many people here do)


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## dcoyote (Sep 9, 2009)

Teleute said:


> I have - I had a girlfriend who was just the chunky side of average, maybe a 14-16, and she got really depressed and gained weight very quickly. She was so unhappy, and she was feeling so many unpleasant physical effects that it was just an incredibly negative experience, and I just wanted her to be feeling better again even though I found her softer, larger body to be attractive.
> 
> Then again, I am probably biased on this, because I went through basically the same thing myself. The depression-based weight gain was so hard on my body that I just hurt all the time. After I got treated for the depression and actually started exercising and eating well again, I lost some weight quickly but put it back on fairly soon - and the second weight gain was great, I reached the shape I wanted without the physical (and mental) discomfort. I guess that's probably what I was hoping would happen with my girlfriend too, but we broke up before she ever got treatment for the depression  Sigh... I haven't seen her in years, I hope she's doing better now.



I'm glad your happy with your body now. My sister gains a lot of weight when things aren't going right for her too. She is bipolar and hasn't been in the best situations as of late. I'm not really fa, but usually when she gains weight it doesn't look that bad. It's usually on her butt, but the weight she gained as of late was on her mid section and face. She looked aweful, and you could tell she was feeling really horrible about herself and her life just by looking at her. She lost a bunch of weight recently, and looks much better because her situation got a little better. I just wish she was able to get some treatment for her bipolar disorder. Her life would really start picking up if she did, but she can't afford it.


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## kioewen (Sep 12, 2009)

____No.____


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## jakub (Sep 13, 2009)

Tad said:


> Fellow FA (of either gender, of course): have you ever had a partner gain weight and really not been crazy about it?



I prefer SSBBW's but I'm not interested in feeding in any way, she may be fatter (why not...) but process of growing/feeding is not interesting (and probably not healthy).


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## marlowegarp (Sep 16, 2009)

Good question!

Pretty much happiness and confidence are the deciding factors for me. If I were with a lady who was miserable because she gained, that would lessen the attraction. Unless it was to petite dimensions, I would prefer a happy, dieting fatty to a sad, gaining one.


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## Rowan (Sep 16, 2009)

marlowegarp said:


> Good question!
> 
> Pretty much happiness and confidence are the deciding factors for me. If I were with a lady who was miserable because she gained, that would lessen the attraction. Unless it was to petite dimensions, *I would prefer a happy, dieting fatty to a sad, gaining one.*



excellent post sir!


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## gangstadawg (Sep 16, 2009)

nope! i dont care how much of a gain it is i have no issues with it.


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## Tracii (Sep 17, 2009)

Rowan said:


> excellent post sir!



Very well put I agree.


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## stefanie (Oct 16, 2009)

Unattractive? No. But I would be concerned if my husband's health were affected.


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## mithrandirjn (Oct 18, 2009)

I certainly think there can be instances where it could be unattractive, at least by levels of degree. I find many types of women to be attractive, because, put simply, every woman is built differently, and some simply look their best (in my humble opinion and eye) at a certain weight level. 

For example, I recently had some drinks with a very pretty coworker of mine who's very naturally thin (relatively small frame and all that jazz), who probably weighs something like 125 pounds; if she gained to a level beyond something like 5-10 pounds, I'm not so sure it would look "right" on her, so to speak. Maybe I'm wrong, but that was just the vibe I got.

On the other hand, as an avowed ass man, I remember a couple of girls I was in high school shows with who were pretty small/skinny back then and were attractive as hell to me...who then graduated, put on something like 25-35 pounds in the ensuing years (I think I know one girl who may have put on as much as 50), much of which went straight to the booty and thighs (with some nice softness left over for a little bit of belly, as well), who are now even MORE attractive to me. In those cases, those were girls with frames "designed" to carry extra weight around the hips and thighs, and they looked fantastic to me.


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## SweetTea (Jul 6, 2012)

I think it's more about the shape than the size. For women, if a gain accentuates her body's femininity, like a more balanced, rounded gain in the hips/butt/belly, I think it looks very, very attractive as opposed to a gain that masks the feminine shape and makes a women look androgynous. That type of figure won't usually turn my head as quickly.

I think every man looks best thick. A nice gut, strong arms and chest, and thick quads is my favorite looks, but on younger guys, I like a softer belly. There are so many types of fat, so many types of body shape....the possibilities are endless


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## agouderia (Jul 8, 2012)

SweetTea said:


> I think it's more about the shape than the size.



Totally agree. For me it's all about proportion, are the various features and parts of the body matched harmoniously. 
Something like the beetle (very round belly, spindly legs) or the toad look (a fat bloated face with a relatively small body) I do find unattractive (..maybe also because these types of weight gain can be are indicators for an unhealthy amount of alcohol comsumption).

What also can be an intervening variable - and thus make weight gain (or loss btw) not attractive - is that changes in body size often require a change in styling to bring out the best in the new shape and proportion. (I've even had a few incidents were I noticed people looked great with their new size naked/in bathing suits but awful with illfitting, unflattering cloths on).

Some people when gaining or loosing weight don't do this, simply continue wearing styles that might have fit another form - or other people get their personal make-over all wrong (best example I can think of here is Jonah Hill's attempt at a weight loss styling - where he went from a cute, round, curly-head to an downright ugly guy with a few odd edges and the worst cropped hairstyle on the planet).


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## Weirdo890 (Jul 8, 2012)

I don't know, but if I did, I can't remember.


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