# Happier Bigger ?



## Haunted (Jul 1, 2008)

I'v seen it posted before and My Girlfriend has mentioned it also, That some BBW's get to the point where they realize they couldn't be happy as a smaller woman, LnL said in a post recently that she doesn't believe she could be happy Under 350lbs and apparently she used to put that number at 300lbs, Hearing this Makes Me happy (i'm not sure why, I'v been on this kick where i analyze Myself and my feelings lately Kind of a self discovery) I guess what i'm trying to say is when ever i hear of a woman discovering that she truly loves being Bigger that she herself Loves her soft body, and she is comfortable and confident enough to let the world Know She's Big She's Beautiful and she's Happy. This brings me so much joy this warms my soul so deeply i can't describe it and i don't understand why. not that it matters, I am curious to hear what was it that brought you to this point why and what do you love about being a bbw/ssbbw you are all so beautiful especially My Fatty


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## Chimpi (Jul 1, 2008)

I just want to chime in and say that it always joys me to see that a person (male or female) is truly happy to be whatever size they are. It really hits close to home when they say they're happy to be fat or very fat. I'm glad people have that ability and live it proudly.


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## Ivy (Jul 2, 2008)

i don't think i would be totally unhappy as a smaller woman, but i can definitely say that I am much happier now being at my highest weight ever than i was when i was smaller. part of my happiness is definitely that my situation as far as my life goes is the best it has ever been. obviously, that helps a lot. i definitely find my body to be much more appealing and sexy now than i did before. for me, the fatter that i get the more comfortable i am in my body and the more appealing my body is to me. that helps to keep me happy i guess.

i guess i could be happy as a thinner woman, but i definitely could not feel sexy or confident in my body. not as much as i do now, not even close. since i was a little girl i have always wanted to be very fat. i always thought the fattest girls were the prettiest. it's something that i wanted for myself. now that i'm working on that, i feel so much confident. not to say i was unhappy in my appearance before, because i wasn't. i just think i look better now than i ever have before.

also, at this point in my life i feel like so much of my identity lies in the fact that i am a fat girl. i think that if i were to lose a lot of weight i would feel as if i had lost hold of who i was. i think that the feeling of losing a hold of who i am would also contribute to a general feeling of unhappiness.


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## Haunted (Jul 2, 2008)

If youv never seen Ivy talk about her weight gain and her desire to be Fat i urge you to head over to her site and view the videos she does such a great job describing her desires and how big she wants to be, Thanks for Chiming in Ivy 



Ivy said:


> i don't think i would be totally unhappy as a smaller woman, but i can definitely say that I am much happier now being at my highest weight ever than i was when i was smaller. part of my happiness is definitely that my situation as far as my life goes is the best it has ever been. obviously, that helps a lot. i definitely find my body to be much more appealing and sexy now than i did before. for me, the fatter that i get the more comfortable i am in my body and the more appealing my body is to me. that helps to keep me happy i guess.
> 
> i guess i could be happy as a thinner woman, but i definitely could not feel sexy or confident in my body. not as much as i do now, not even close. since i was a little girl i have always wanted to be very fat. i always thought the fattest girls were the prettiest. it's something that i wanted for myself. now that i'm working on that, i feel so much confident. not to say i was unhappy in my appearance before, because i wasn't. i just think i look better now than i ever have before.
> 
> also, at this point in my life i feel like so much of my identity lies in the fact that i am a fat girl. i think that if i were to lose a lot of weight i would feel as if i had lost hold of who i was. i think that the feeling of losing a hold of who i am would also contribute to a general feeling of unhappiness.


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## Reenaye Starr (Jul 2, 2008)

Kudos to you. For me it was always the opposite. I was a chubby girl all my life who wanted to be thin, mainly because I had a father who picked on me about my weight. Relentlessly, and I felt like all of my thin, model looking girlfriends got all the boys. It really wasn't until I started modelling on pinups that I became truly happy with my body. Don't get me wrong, I always felt that I was pretty and desirable... I just didn't think that other people felt that way about me. Then I found the BBW & FA Community and it made me realize how there really were people that could see it, too. I weigh more than I ever have in my life and I am happy. I am with someone who is both an amazing person and sexier than any of my skinny girlfriends' guys.. Who appreciates and loves me for me and could not find me hotter. That feels great. And while my best friend from childhood ( a very beautiful, thin girl who has been modeling for most of her life) has battled eating disorders to maintain weight for pageants and modeling jobs, and can no longer get as much work since she hit the age of 25... I am 27 and I have a fun modeling career. I get to work with the sweetest gals and have wonderful and supportive fans... I get built up... While my poor friend has struggled so many years in a cruel industry that has only beat her down. I wish women of all size could experience the kind of confidence that this community brings to it's members... And I tell you what... I don't get nearly as devastated when some one makes a snide comment to me or gives me that, "Whoa, what a fat slob" look... and ladies you know what look I am talking about. Now I just feel sorry for them for having to live life so closeminded and blind to what real beauty means.


Ivy said:


> i don't think i would be totally unhappy as a smaller woman, but i can definitely say that I am much happier now being at my highest weight ever than i was when i was smaller. part of my happiness is definitely that my situation as far as my life goes is the best it has ever been. obviously, that helps a lot. i definitely find my body to be much more appealing and sexy now than i did before. for me, the fatter that i get the more comfortable i am in my body and the more appealing my body is to me. that helps to keep me happy i guess.
> 
> i guess i could be happy as a thinner woman, but i definitely could not feel sexy or confident in my body. not as much as i do now, not even close. since i was a little girl i have always wanted to be very fat. i always thought the fattest girls were the prettiest. it's something that i wanted for myself. now that i'm working on that, i feel so much confident. not to say i was unhappy in my appearance before, because i wasn't. i just think i look better now than i ever have before.
> 
> also, at this point in my life i feel like so much of my identity lies in the fact that i am a fat girl. i think that if i were to lose a lot of weight i would feel as if i had lost hold of who i was. i think that the feeling of losing a hold of who i am would also contribute to a general feeling of unhappiness.


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## KHayes666 (Jul 2, 2008)

Its really easy to look at women like Ivy, Nicki, Melissa and Reenaye and be happy for them for being the happiest they've ever been, but its also hard at the same time because they have husbands/ bf's/fiancees/etc that help make them so happy as well.

The simple fact is the women who are open to anything and aren't afraid to flaunt what they got....are already taken. I can't tell you how many paysite models, web models, etc who are already in love with someone else, and the ones that are single either have their eye on someone or live on the other side of the universe.

Meanwhile in my neck of the woods, I can't think of one female friend I have in real life that would be happier at a higher weight....everyone I know is hell bent on losing weight, and some of them weigh ONE TWENTY FIVE no less. The reason I split with my ex-fiancee was because she became completely miserable when I allowed her to go on a diet (She had 'ballooned' from 125 to 155 and was my height no less) and wasn't the same person I agreed to marry earlier that year.

Which begs the question, how do you look for people like that? I'm not talking about women that intentionally are trying to get bigger, but those who are potentially just as happy at a higher weight as they would at present time. My main flaw with letting my ex-fiancee go on a diet was that I didn't think about the future, I didn't think about what pregnancy and married life could do to her. Don't get me wrong, if she wasn't so miserable I probably wouldn't have minded her trying to lose weight, I'm not THAT shallow compared to what some may say, but the fact was if she got pregnant, she'd put on weight by default. I would have won in the end if I just thought about it more in depth, but at 19 years old not many people do that at that age.

THAT'S what I'm talking about though, you never know what curveballs life will throw at you. Within one callander year (2003 to 2004) I went from dating a 5'7 125 lb Norweigan bombshell to kissing my 5'3 230 lb friend in the rain on my last day of school. The sad thing is, my 230 lb friend hated how she looked and my bombshell g/f is now 140 lbs and happy with her life. Even girls I've known since high school ended have been self conscious about their weight no matter where I go.

My quest is to find someone comfortable at a higher weight, doesn't nessiscarily have to be into gaining although it would be fun, but just comfortable with it and won't freak out if after pregnancy she's gained weight. Finding someone who is happier at bigger is a tall task indeed.


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## Haunted (Jul 2, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> The simple fact is the women who are open to anything and aren't afraid to flaunt what they got....are already taken. I can't tell you how many paysite models, web models, etc who are already in love with someone else, and the ones that are single either have their eye on someone or live on the other side of the universe.



Keep in mind Not all of these woman are in a good relationship, Thats the How I became Mr. Kalicurves lol anyway, it's been talked about in different threads We Met 6 years ago and chatted and where friends etc. etc. She wasn't happy in her marriage I wasn't Happy in mine, Neither of us started out looking for a new relationship and it's not without it's problems I'm in New England, and she's In Central California.



KHayes666 said:


> in my neck of the woods, I can't think of one female friend I have in real life that would be happier at a higher weight....everyone I know is hell bent on losing weight, and some of them weigh ONE TWENTY FIVE no less.



Kali although She was a webmodel wasn't happy with being bigger her ex was horrible to her about the weight she gained (i'm sure she'll chime in on this thread also) I think it's only been a year or two since she's been really comfortable and Happy with her size, and a large part of that has to do with Me I showed her it's ok to be Fat, I think she deep down liked it but everyone around her was on her case then i show up and she finds that It's true there are men Who love Big Girls. sometimes the Happy Big Girl has been so beat down They need a Loving FA to show em it's ok to eat !



KHayes666 said:


> The reason I split with my ex-fiancee was because she became completely miserable when I allowed her to go on a diet (She had 'ballooned' from 125 to 155 and was my height no less) and wasn't the same person I agreed to marry earlier that year.



I never really came right out and told my ex that i liked her curves I was a closet fa for so long, instead i'd sabotage her diets or make subtle hints about getting dessert, towards the end when we where trying to salvage our relationship i did come out and tell her and she didn't embrace it like i thought she would, she liked food, i'd go so far as to say she was a foodee i expected once hearing that her husband Like her fat or fatter for that matter that she'd breathe a sigh of relief and toss the diet books, she did try to understand and she claimed to accept, but it just wasn't right, it wasn't her, she wasn't who i married 



KHayes666 said:


> Which begs the question, how do you look for people like that? I'm not talking about women that intentionally are trying to get bigger, but those who are potentially just as happy at a higher weight as they would at present time.



You find em when you least expect em Like with any relationship if your out there seeking a meaningful relationship all your gonna find or dud's. it's true though these things happen when you least expect it My suggestion would to stop looking, but look around at some of the larger girls who could potentially be happier big sometimes all they need is the right person to show them how great it can be.



KHayes666 said:


> but the fact was if she got pregnant, she'd put on weight by default. I would have won in the end if I just thought about it more in depth, but at 19 years old not many people do that at that age.



This is the one Mistake you avoided making, unless you believe she couldv' been one of the Happy Bigguns. Kali and i are so Honest and open about everything that it makes the relationship easier and we both know where the other stands, i still get surprised at some of her desires not because they shock me but because i never in a million years thought i would find a woman who i share so much in common with, some of her fantasies run so parallel to mine that i swear she must be reading my mind.



KHayes666 said:


> THAT'S what I'm talking about though, you never know what curveballs life will throw at you. Within one callander year (2003 to 2004) I went from dating a 5'7 125 lb Norweigan bombshell to kissing my 5'3 230 lb friend in the rain



Amen I was married to a 230 lb woman, remodeling a house and just slogging through my mundane life to, to dating a 330lb beautiful goddess that i love more than i thought possible and loves me just as much. Living in my mom's house, and trying to find out how to get out from under this house so i can get to california



KHayes666 said:


> My quest is to find someone comfortable at a higher weight, doesn't nessiscarily have to be into gaining although it would be fun, but just comfortable with it and won't freak out if after pregnancy she's gained weight. Finding someone who is happier at bigger is a tall task indeed.



She's out there just be patient


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## Ted Michael Morgan (Jul 2, 2008)

My former wife's obsession with being thin drove me up the wall.She (and I) would have been much happier if she had eaten the cakes she bakes and if she had just let her weight grow. Her dieting rituals were insane.


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## Fairest Epic (Jul 2, 2008)

I am DEFINITELY happier at a higher weight. I love my extra squish, and I wouldnt mind gaining moreits just a matter of being happy for me. I do think I would not be as happy at a smaller size. Whenever I think about losing mallow (my uber squishy tum tum named after a marshmallow) I seriously feel like crying. She has become such an important part of me and part of my self-acceptance. 

I struggled with losing weight for years..mostly due to my parents. I have been dieting since before I was 8.even though I was under weight according to my doctors, my mother never let me forget I was too fat. I finally decided to give up dieting a few months ago and just be free and love me for me. After gaining over 30 lbs, I am happier than I ever was at any size smaller. I have finally accepted myself, and while ive had no real boyfriends help me through the transition to self-love, I was not alone. Dims along with an FA or two have seen me through my debbie downer moments and really shown me its ok to be fat and like it (I was raised with a VERY different vision, so it took me a bit to believe that it was ok to like my mallow. I had ignored it before thennow I play with it daily haha). Also, the terribly beautiful women on here, have helped me see how beautiful fat can be. Their extreme beauty has revealed to me the concept that if they can be oh so beautifully fat, then why cant i? Their confidence and beauty truly inspires me. 

I love my chubby cheeks, my huge thighs, my massive mallow, and all the squishiness in between. I cant imagine living without it all my squishy goodness without a frown appearing on my face. But, while I love these pieces of me, I cant bring myself to the point of flaunting it. I mean while ive stopped wearing the uber slimming clothing and girdles I have also stopped posting pics of myself anywhereor even taking them. I am afraid of what ill see. I think this is because my mother would always use pictures against me. She used to take pictures of me in the shower and complain about how fat I was if she couldnt see my hip bones or something.or if I was crying, she would tell me to stop and remind me how horrible I looked when I did so by showing me a picture. Im afraid I wont like what I see. And even though my fatness makes me feel oh so good, I dont want my appearance to affect how I feel about my extreme chubster status. In other words, I dont want to endanger my happiness just because of a picture. I mean I like my squishy bits in the mirror, but I still fear how it will look in a camera. Im a weirdo..what can I say? Haha


Anywhosorry for the spielfatness ftw!


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## JMCGB (Jul 2, 2008)

Fairest Epic said:


> I am DEFINITELY happier at a higher weight. I love my extra squish, and I wouldnt mind gaining moreits just a matter of being happy for me. I do think I would not be as happy at a smaller size. Whenever I think about losing mallow (my uber squishy tum tum named after a marshmallow) I seriously feel like crying. She has become such an important part of me and part of my self-acceptance.
> 
> I struggled with losing weight for years..mostly due to my parents. I have been dieting since before I was 8.even though I was under weight according to my doctors, my mother never let me forget I was too fat. I finally decided to give up dieting a few months ago and just be free and love me for me. After gaining over 30 lbs, I am happier than I ever was at any size smaller. I have finally accepted myself, and while ive had no real boyfriends help me through the transition to self-love, I was not alone. Dims along with an FA or two have seen me through my debbie downer moments and really shown me its ok to be fat and like it (I was raised with a VERY different vision, so it took me a bit to believe that it was ok to like my mallow. I had ignored it before thennow I play with it daily haha). Also, the terribly beautiful women on here, have helped me see how beautiful fat can be. Their extreme beauty has revealed to me the concept that if they can be oh so beautifully fat, then why cant i? Their confidence and beauty truly inspires me.
> 
> ...




I just wanted to say thanks for making marshmallows a sexy food now! One of the single best names for an uber soft tummy! On a serious note, it is always nice to see someone become not just comfortable with, but love their size.


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## bexy (Jul 2, 2008)

Fairest Epic said:


> I am DEFINITELY happier at a higher weight. I love my extra squish, and I wouldnt mind gaining moreits just a matter of being happy for me. I do think I would not be as happy at a smaller size. Whenever I think about losing mallow (my uber squishy tum tum named after a marshmallow) I seriously feel like crying. She has become such an important part of me and part of my self-acceptance.
> 
> I struggled with losing weight for years..mostly due to my parents. I have been dieting since before I was 8.even though I was under weight according to my doctors, my mother never let me forget I was too fat. I finally decided to give up dieting a few months ago and just be free and love me for me. After gaining over 30 lbs, I am happier than I ever was at any size smaller. I have finally accepted myself, and while ive had no real boyfriends help me through the transition to self-love, I was not alone. Dims along with an FA or two have seen me through my debbie downer moments and really shown me its ok to be fat and like it (I was raised with a VERY different vision, so it took me a bit to believe that it was ok to like my mallow. I had ignored it before thennow I play with it daily haha). Also, the terribly beautiful women on here, have helped me see how beautiful fat can be. Their extreme beauty has revealed to me the concept that if they can be oh so beautifully fat, then why cant i? Their confidence and beauty truly inspires me.
> 
> ...




wow. no offense, but your mum sounds NOT COOL. you know there are a lot of ppl here that think u are stunning, me one of them. i think if u were able to be brave and post pics u would get even more of a confidence boost. it is no different to what you see in the mirror, AT ALL. you will like what u see, if u remember all the bits u like when u look in the mirror and earmark them off your pic at the same time.
maybe take a pic and look at it and the mirror at the same time, you will see there is no difference. maybe in time you will feel up to showing us your gorgeous self, but for the mean time remember you are a hottie, a lovely girl, a wonderful ickle mallow and i :wubu: you!!!


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## Fairest Epic (Jul 2, 2008)

bexylicious said:


> wow. no offense, but your mum sounds NOT COOL. you know there are a lot of ppl here that think u are stunning, me one of them. i think if u were able to be brave and post pics u would get even more of a confidence boost. it is no different to what you see in the mirror, AT ALL. you will like what u see, if u remember all the bits u like when u look in the mirror and earmark them off your pic at the same time.
> maybe take a pic and look at it and the mirror at the same time, you will see there is no difference. maybe in time you will feel up to showing us your gorgeous self, but for the mean time remember you are a hottie, a lovely girl, a wonderful ickle mallow and i :wubu: you!!!



aww bexy *hug
haha 
i might try looking at myself through a cam lense, but i dont know if ill be able to "click" yanno?
thanks for the encouragement dearie.


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## Ivy (Jul 2, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> Its really easy to look at women like Ivy, Nicki, Melissa and Reenaye and be happy for them for being the happiest they've ever been, but its also hard at the same time because they have husbands/ bf's/fiancees/etc that help make them so happy as well.
> 
> The simple fact is the women who are open to anything and aren't afraid to flaunt what they got....are already taken. I can't tell you how many paysite models, web models, etc who are already in love with someone else, and the ones that are single either have their eye on someone or live on the other side of the universe.



actually, i'm in a very new relationship. i've been very happy since before he and i were together, when i was single. the relationship did add to my happiness, but i was very happy before we were together.


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## largenlovely (Jul 2, 2008)

Ivy answered khayes for me as well, but i'm gonna reiterate it...I've been involved with Bruce for 1 1/2 years...i was happy with who i am and my body way before our relationship started  Not to say he doesn't make me happy...because he does...extraordinarly so  

Everyone is continually in transition..their thoughts..their lives..everything. I wasn't always thrilled with my body as a teenager. I never hated it either, I just never understood why everyone else seemed to have such a problem with it. I was confused and angry as well..I couldn't understand why all the boys wanted to sleep with me in *private* and had been through two rapes and yet none of them wanted to own up to the attraction in public. So i think i felt that on some level they must have seen me as attractive...and i'd always heard the standard "wow you've got such a pretty face....". 

Fortunately, my dad was pretty positive. It wasn't necessarily FAT positive..though there was some of that in there too, but it was person positive. He stressed that i was a good person and that if people had a problem with my weight then it was THEIR problem..not mine. I'd talk to him about these things all the time....i've gotta great daddy  (who my whole immediate family accuses of being a closeted feeder lol) Though my dad taught us how to be good people in general...don't lie, don't steal, be true to yourself, try to help those in need, be compassionate, stand up for yourself and the things you believe in and you will love the person that you are...and if others don't love that, then they're not the people you want to be around anyway. I have always lived by these examples and have always been a confident PERSON...i wasn't always so confident in my body, but was always very confident in who i was as a person. I have never been afraid to speak my mind and trust in who i am...and i got my daddy to thank for that. 

I honestly feel that loving your body starts with loving yourself on the inside. There's a confidence that comes from knowing yourself..and who you are... and what it is you want. Self examination is crucial to self confidence and it's never ending. We're always changing...always discovering new things about ourselves. Now, i'm not saying be self centered lol, but introspection is very important. 

Once i found this community, i felt that i'd found my home  There are a lot of reasons i couldn't be happy under a certain size...some psychological, some emotional...some sexual...tons of reasons. I actually couldn't be happy at all as a skinny woman and i think it took me a while to come to terms with some of these things as well. I mean, living in a society where they teach this is wrong...you *have* to examine it. I've explained some of my reasons on different threads and whatnot...so i won't go into them here, being that this is already long enough lol, but yes..i do feel that way and that's ok


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## Chimpi (Jul 2, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> *Snip*
> The reason I split with my ex-fiancee was because she became completely miserable when I allowed her to go on a diet (She had 'ballooned' from 125 to 155 and was my height no less) and wasn't the same person I agreed to marry earlier that year.
> 
> *Snip*
> My main flaw with letting my ex-fiancee go on a diet was that I didn't think about the future, I didn't think about what pregnancy and married life could do to her. Don't get me wrong, if she wasn't so miserable I probably wouldn't have minded her trying to lose weight, I'm not THAT shallow compared to what some may say, but the fact was if she got pregnant, she'd put on weight by default. I would have won in the end if I just thought about it more in depth, but at 19 years old not many people do that at that age.



Wow, dude. I hate to be so critical of your post, but I wanted to address these two parts. I'm not sure if you've already talked about it or not (referring to having said "I'm not THAT shallow compared to what some may say").

Do you really mean "..._allowed_ her to go on a diet" and "My main flaw with _letting_ my ex-fiancee go on a diet...?" That's quite controlling, I think. I think it unwise to believe you should be the person to decide when some one else is allowed to go on a diet or not. It's her body, not yours. It's her uncomfortable feeling, not yours. It's her 'problem', not yours. Suggesting that you _let_ her lose weight is like me saying I _let_ my significant other go to the bathroom today.
Did you possibly word it incorrectly?

Otherwise, I understand what you're saying in the rest of your post.
Sorry to hijack, Haunted.


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## KHayes666 (Jul 2, 2008)

Chimpi said:


> Wow, dude. I hate to be so critical of your post, but I wanted to address these two parts. I'm not sure if you've already talked about it or not (referring to having said "I'm not THAT shallow compared to what some may say").
> 
> Do you really mean "..._allowed_ her to go on a diet" and "My main flaw with _letting_ my ex-fiancee go on a diet...?" That's quite controlling, I think. I think it unwise to believe you should be the person to decide when some one else is allowed to go on a diet or not. It's her body, not yours. It's her uncomfortable feeling, not yours. It's her 'problem', not yours. Suggesting that you _let_ her lose weight is like me saying I _let_ my significant other go to the bathroom today.
> Did you possibly word it incorrectly?
> ...



Well she pretty much began to lose weight to fit into her prom dress, which was fine by me. Then she started getting those "wow you look good, have you lost weight?" compliments and they went to her head. I told her I liked her thicker but she insisted she lose weight to feel better. If I had told her I liked her just the way she looked and didn't want her to lose weight, she may have listened to me, but stupidly I said "well if you think you'll feel better, do it"

And so she started dieting and became completely miserable....and you';ve already heard the rest, basically the opposite happened of what was originally planned.

I guess I may have worded it wrong to where I made it sound like I controlled her, but I really didn't. I'm just saying if I really DID control her I might have been able to stop her but I didn't. Hell if I wasn't a jobless 19 year old kid I may have thought about pregnancy, the future and other things that could have gotten her to stop the dieting. 

So yeah, worded wrong....I wasn't really controlling her but basically she hinged on my opinion.


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## Kortana (Jul 2, 2008)

For me accepting myself as a fat girl was a process. I went through years of self loathing and dieting. My weight would go up and down and so would my self esteem. It wasn't as easy to be a fat girl 10 years ago, access to fashionable clothes was limited too- and the girls will understand that can play a big role on how you feel about yourself.

Some days its still not easy being a fat girl

BUT

I have grown (no pun intended) in my body and my self esteem. I love to eat and not have to count calories. I think my touch of a waddle is cute. I love having "Fat days" with my girlfriends where we lounge around watching bad movies and pigging out. I don't think I would be the same person I am today is I was thin. The challenges I have faced as a FAT girl have made me stronger and continue to do so.

SO,yes. I am happier bigger!!


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## largenlovely (Jul 2, 2008)

omg aren't those the greatest!! I don't have anyone to really share those with sadly...it's one of the many reasons i look forward to the bashes and getting up to the east coast to hang out with my fatties hehe



Kortana said:


> I love having "Fat days" with my girlfriends where we lounge around watching bad movies and pigging out.


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## Kortana (Jul 2, 2008)

largenlovely said:


> omg aren't those the greatest!! I don't have anyone to really share those with sadly...it's one of the many reasons i look forward to the bashes and getting up to the east coast to hang out with my fatties hehe



I love those. Down south you guys have some real treats for days like that.

Maybe that's a bash we need to plan! A great big "Fat Girl Day" where we all hang out in our PJ's watch Dirty Dancing and order in all sorts of fatty treats. 

I bet Taco Bell and krispy Cream would sponsor the occasion! 

LOL


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## KaliCurves (Jul 2, 2008)

OMG IM SO THERE!!! Don't forget the Olive Garden Dipping sauce and bread sticks. :eat2:


Kortana said:


> I love those. Down south you guys have some real treats for days like that.
> 
> Maybe that's a bash we need to plan! A great big "Fat Girl Day" where we all hang out in our PJ's watch Dirty Dancing and order in all sorts of fatty treats.
> 
> ...


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## Kortana (Jul 2, 2008)

KaliCurves said:


> OMG IM SO THERE!!! Don't forget the Olive Garden Dipping sauce and bread sticks. :eat2:



Isn't dipping sauce the best. Anything you can dip is awesome. I love dips.

Skinny Dips, garlic dips.

Dips are just good things.

:eat2:


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## largenlovely (Jul 2, 2008)

first of all..wow...that's seriously harsh!!!

But it reminded me of when i had first started taking pics and posting them online. I have this weird bone thing...Those close to me know about it lol. I'm such a weirdo but..anyway lol...Bones totally gross me out...like even in food and stuff. I used eat chicken and steaks with bones in them, but i'd always make sure to avoid the bones as much as possible. I wouldn't be caught dead eating chicken wings back in the day hehe. I've gotten over this to a large extent, but the initial reaction sometimes can be the same for me. 

Back when i first took pics, i remember a pic of me laying on my side on the floor. All my fat fell downwards..towards the floor and i could see my hip bone and i was soooo grossed out. I think this is yet another reason i like being so fat lol. Though, the one thing i will probably always see is that huge icky tendon that goes from your big toe into your foot...that grosses me out too. Aaaaaaaaanyway ....yeah...has nothing to do with nothing, but you made me think of it and i said it lol




Fairest Epic said:


> I think this is because my mother would always use pictures against me. She used to take pictures of me in the shower and complain about how fat I was if she couldnt see my hip bones or something


----------



## largenlovely (Jul 2, 2008)

dang y'all are making me hungry ya bunch of fatties lol


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## Fairest Epic (Jul 2, 2008)

haha i am the same way when it comes to boney bones!
it's one of the few gag worthy things with me. If i see a bone in my food, it needs to go away asap. As for human body bones, I actually use to think hip bones were uber hot. Now, not so much haha. I am very glad my chub fully encompasses mine. 




largenlovely said:


> first of all..wow...that's seriously harsh!!!
> 
> But it reminded me of when i had first started taking pics and posting them online. I have this weird bone thing...Those close to me know about it lol. I'm such a weirdo but..anyway lol...Bones totally gross me out...like even in food and stuff. I used eat chicken and steaks with bones in them, but i'd always make sure to avoid the bones as much as possible. I wouldn't be caught dead eating chicken wings back in the day hehe. I've gotten over this to a large extent, but the initial reaction sometimes can be the same for me.
> 
> Back when i first took pics, i remember a pic of me laying on my side on the floor. All my fat fell downwards..towards the floor and i could see my hip bone and i was soooo grossed out. I think this is yet another reason i like being so fat lol. Though, the one thing i will probably always see is that huge icky tendon that goes from your big toe into your foot...that grosses me out too. Aaaaaaaaanyway ....yeah...has nothing to do with nothing, but you made me think of it and i said it lol


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## KaliCurves (Jul 2, 2008)

OMG you love dips? You have to try Red Robins, Spinach and artichoke dip, its to dieeeeeeeee for also. My boyfriend spoils me he gets them because he knows I cant resist and i eat them till I'm full and then I get my dinner and I feel guilty not eating it too! LOL I always leave way stuffed. ( PSSSTT just a secret between us, I also do it cause I love to see his reaction, because I know it turns him on for me to overindulged hehehe)






Kortana said:


> Isn't dipping sauce the best. Anything you can dip is awesome. I love dips.
> 
> Skinny Dips, garlic dips.
> 
> ...


----------



## largenlovely (Jul 2, 2008)

I'm glad mine does too!!! lol

and i'm soooo relieved to hear i'm not the only weirdo about the bones in my food hahahaha. 



Fairest Epic said:


> haha i am the same way when it comes to boney bones!
> it's one of the few gag worthy things with me. If i see a bone in my food, it needs to go away asap. As for human body bones, I actually use to think hip bones were uber hot. Now, not so much haha. I am very glad my chub fully encompasses mine.


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## largenlovely (Jul 2, 2008)

i looooooooooove spinach and artichoke dips....omg i hear ya on that, i could eat my weight in them. I've not tried that brand specifically. Walmart used to sell some that i loved but they stopped  they only had one other brand left (i forget the name of the brand) but i tried it and it just wasn't right so.... i've been without spinach dip 



KaliCurves said:


> OMG you love dips? You have to try Red Robins, Spinach and artichoke dip, its to dieeeeeeeee for also.


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## KaliCurves (Jul 2, 2008)

DID you just call me fat? OMG YOU SO ROCK!:kiss2:



largenlovely said:


> dang y'all are making me hungry ya bunch of fatties lol


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## KaliCurves (Jul 2, 2008)

Oh girl we have to go out to dinner! Its the bestest!! You will have to get your own I wont share mine! LOLOLOL:blush:



largenlovely said:


> i looooooooooove spinach and artichoke dips....omg i hear ya on that, i could eat my weight in them. I've not tried that brand specifically. Walmart used to sell some that i loved but they stopped  they only had one other brand left (i forget the name of the brand) but i tried it and it just wasn't right so.... i've been without spinach dip


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## largenlovely (Jul 2, 2008)

LOL i think i picked it up from Heather or one of them...but yeah, i love calling the fat girls "fatties" hehe i think it's a cute term of endearment.



KaliCurves said:


> DID you just call me fat? OMG YOU SO ROCK!:kiss2:


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## KaliCurves (Jul 2, 2008)

I love it when Haunted calls me fat, I think we freak people out, cause I will look at him and ask did you call me fat? and he will say yeah, and I will say ok, or I love you! LOLOL




largenlovely said:


> LOL i think i picked it up from Heather or one of them...but yeah, i love calling the fat girls "fatties" hehe i think it's a cute term of endearment.


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## largenlovely (Jul 2, 2008)

I'm gonna hold ya to that if i'm ever in your area  hehe



KaliCurves said:


> Oh girl we have to go out to dinner! Its the bestest!!


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## Haunted (Jul 2, 2008)

KaliCurves said:


> Oh girl we have to go out to dinner! Its the bestest!! You will have to get your own I wont share mine! LOLOLOL:blush:



OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG Does this Mean i might be going to dinner with my two most favorite webgoddesses of all time (Seriously though LNL and Kali Where My first webgirls lol) how awesomely Apropos


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## Kortana (Jul 2, 2008)

So what can we deduce from all this talk? Going back to topic.

Ya, we're happier bigger.

LOL

There is a restaurant here in Montreal called "Baton Rouge" and it has the bestest, warmest yummiest spinach dip.

Damn it all, now I am hungry.

Where did that darn BF go..............?!?!?!


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## KaliCurves (Jul 2, 2008)

DEAL!!!:eat1::wubu:




largenlovely said:


> I'm gonna hold ya to that if i'm ever in your area  hehe


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## largenlovely (Jul 2, 2008)

oh man...i can't even TELL how many people me and Bruce have freaked out... from belly rubs while i'm on the riding cart in Walmart to him calling me fatty ...we probably shock people all over the nation when we're together, just because we act "normal" and don't care LOL



KaliCurves said:


> I love it when Haunted calls me fat, I think we freak people out, cause I will look at him and ask did you call me fat? and he will say yeah, and I will say ok, or I love you! LOLOL


----------



## Kortana (Jul 2, 2008)

KaliCurves said:


> I love it when Haunted calls me fat, I think we freak people out, cause I will look at him and ask did you call me fat? and he will say yeah, and I will say ok, or I love you! LOLOL



OMG my BF and I do the same thing!


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## Haunted (Jul 2, 2008)

largenlovely said:


> I'm gonna hold ya to that if i'm ever in your area  hehe



Psssst I'm Hoping to get her to visit the Right Coast this fall maybe a road trip is in order :wubu:


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## largenlovely (Jul 2, 2008)

lmao ya never know  i seemed to find myself winding up in the oddest places all across the country from time to time lol



Haunted said:


> OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG Does this Mean i might be going to dinner with my two most favorite webgoddesses of all time (Seriously though LNL and Kali Where My first webgirls lol) how awesomely Apropos


----------



## largenlovely (Jul 2, 2008)

aahh and maybe i'll be living in NY by that time too 



Haunted said:


> Psssst I'm Hoping to get her to visit the Right Coast this fall maybe a road trip is in order :wubu:


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## largenlovely (Jul 2, 2008)

they used to have a place here called Copelands that served New Orleans style cajun dishes that weren't too bad...i miss that place *sigh*



Kortana said:


> There is a restaurant here in Montreal called "Baton Rouge" and it has the bestest, warmest yummiest spinach dip.


----------



## Haunted (Jul 2, 2008)

Haunted said:


> OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG Does this Mean i might be going to dinner with my two most favorite webgoddesses of all time (Seriously though LNL and Kali Where My first webgirls lol) how awesomely Apropos


Now i wish i had written it differently Ok Do Over, Ready Wait for it, Waaaaiiiiitt foooorr It, 



OMG OMG OMG OMG Does this Mean I might Be at dinner With My too Most Favorite FATTIES !


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## largenlovely (Jul 2, 2008)

LOL too funny 



Haunted said:


> Favorite FATTIES !


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## KaliCurves (Jul 2, 2008)

** Rolls eyes, wipes the drool from his chin** Yes I still claim you...:happy:


Haunted said:


> Now i wish i had written it differently Ok Do Over, Ready Wait for it, Waaaaiiiiitt foooorr It,
> 
> 
> 
> OMG OMG OMG OMG Does this Mean I might Be at dinner With My too Most Favorite FATTIES !


----------



## Haunted (Jul 2, 2008)

largenlovely said:


> aahh and maybe i'll be living in NY by that time too



Nice NY is only 2 to 4 hours from here tops Kali and I have done that twice now Onetime with her Squeezed into a Mustang Convertible (i know not the best choice for a rental on a road trip with a SSBBW) but a kick ass car none the less Should have seen her pilot it though Her new NickName is Danicka

FYI - Danicka Patrick = First and only woman to win an indy race June 08


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## Haunted (Jul 2, 2008)

KaliCurves said:


> ** Rolls eyes, wipes the drool from his chin** Yes I still claim you...:happy:



Thanks Baby I couldn't help Myself I'll just sit over here And behave


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## largenlovely (Jul 2, 2008)

lol yeah...might oughta go with the big caddy next time hehe

now y'all have got me all hungry.....i gotta go find food lol



Haunted said:


> Nice NY is only 2 to 4 hours from here tops Kali and I have done that twice now Onetime with her Squeezed into a Mustang Convertible (i know not the best choice for a rental on a road trip with a SSBBW) but a kick ass car none the less Should have seem her pilot it though Her new NickName is Danicka


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## KaliCurves (Jul 2, 2008)

I HAVE THE NEED FOR SPEED!!! OK and every drive thru also! 


Haunted said:


> Nice NY is only 2 to 4 hours from here tops Kali and I have done that twice now Onetime with her Squeezed into a Mustang Convertible (i know not the best choice for a rental on a road trip with a SSBBW) but a kick ass car none the less Should have seem her pilot it though Her new NickName is Danicka


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## Kortana (Jul 2, 2008)

KaliCurves said:


> I HAVE THE NEED FOR SPEED!!! OK and every drive thru also!



You reminded me, another great reason to be fat. You always have extra room to sit your treats on your belly when squished in a small car


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## Haunted (Jul 2, 2008)

Kortana said:


> You reminded me, another great reason to be fat. You always have extra room to sit your treats on your belly when squished in a small car



I love It When She Does That She even has a biult in Cupholder


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## KaliCurves (Jul 2, 2008)

Yup, we dont need to stinking tray tables we carry our own!


Kortana said:


> You reminded me, another great reason to be fat. You always have extra room to sit your treats on your belly when squished in a small car


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## Kortana (Jul 3, 2008)

Haunted said:


> I love It When She Does That She even has a biult in Cupholder



See? We are even good for storage!


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## Haunted (Jul 3, 2008)

KaliCurves said:


> Yup, we dont need to stinking tray tables we carry our own!



Ok so this fall once Melissa is in NY I'll fly Kali Out Kortana Can Meet us in Vermont and we'll Party Like Rockstars in NY with Bruce And Melissa Who else is in !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Haunted (Jul 3, 2008)

Kortana said:


> See? We are even good for storage!



Big Girls Are Great For So Many reasons :wubu::smitten::kiss2::blush:


----------



## Amatrix (Jul 3, 2008)

What brought me to this point of being happy and confident and everything else thats good in my life?
well, to be honest i hit rock bottom.
i take responsibility for my actions on how i did that.

a quick run down of my life...
molested from at least 3 years old to 11.
almost died from a drowning accident when i was 6 because life jacket was to small.
watched my father kill himself.
abused drugs, alcohol, myself, dietary aids, etc.
watched a cousin and a best friend kill themselves too.

at rock bottom i was running miles every other day and doing cardio. when i ate it was like dt soda and tums. the five finger diet turned into anorexia. i was miserable... but people seemed to notice me more... take note of me.i was running from all the pain, had never cried in front of anyone from like 6 years old on. kept it all inside and then purged constantly to get rid of my sins.

then one day, out of the blue. i caught myself in the mirror. i saw how i had lost my curves, how sunken in my eyes looked. how much i wanted to die at that moment.
there was steam coming out of the shower, and i watched as it distorted my shape.how much more beautiful i looked softer...
i stopped exercising like a freak. i started to eat when i was hungry. i started to read and stopped using drugs, left the bad relationships.

those fleeting moments covered in water mist kisses... changed my out look.
i wanted to be a woman not a victim.

on my journey to loving myself i met someone on myspace back when you could only have like 4 pictures... and he said i was a bbw... looked it up. was totally in love with the idea... then joined groups... made a big move with provocative pictures on another site like this one... and learned as much as i could as quickly as i could.
found beauty in the spaces between my ribs... and between my ears.
now here i am... leading others in my life, if they are thin or fat, down a better path of happiness and self love.
its a tough road. sometimes i have bad days... but i simply remind myself to me being fat is a privilege not a right.

what do i like best about being a SSBBW?
everything.

no really... i like how i have to shop for clothes and try them on before i buy them because my body changes.
i like how when i walk i can feel my thighs press together.
i like how i know what its like to be thin and to be fat.
i like how my "chicken wings", or arm fat, jiggle when i wave hello.
i like how my belly rests on my thighs, and is warm when its cold- or cool when its warm.
i like how i can eat whatever i want and exercise daily.
i like how my belly sticks out and over, and how i feel more like a woman now.
i like meeting other people who arent as comfy as i am and letting them know it can change.
i like how haters say i am narcissistic.
i like how people admire me- for courage, or my body.
i like how my face looks fuller, and my lips are more pouty. my chin has a friend... my double chin.
i like how i have 2 hand warmers with my double belly.
i like how i move and my body follows, i like the ocean movements it makes.
i like how people assume things and i prove them wrong
i like how people move out of my way, or move after i tell them im coming through.
i like my chubby fingers when i paint or draw- they are cute.
i like how my calves are still defined and yet soft.
i like how my skin is softer and there is more of it to cover or uncover...
the rolls... oh the rolls....:wubu:
...
i could go on. really.

what a good thread.


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## Kortana (Jul 3, 2008)

YAY! Fatty Party !


----------



## Fairest Epic (Jul 3, 2008)

you guys are so cute! 

I so agree with being called a fattie. I love it!
And the portable tray is definately fab....best accessory ever!


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## Kortana (Jul 3, 2008)

Amatrix said:


> What brought me to this point of being happy and confident and everything else thats good in my life?
> well, to be honest i hit rock bottom.
> i take responsibility for my actions on how i did that.
> 
> ...



It goes to show you that no matter what life throws at you there are ways to find the good. You are trully an inspiration- life threw everything at you it seems and yet you can still write a post where you are positive about who you have become.


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## Amatrix (Jul 3, 2008)

Kortana said:


> It goes to show you that no matter what life throws at you there are ways to find the good. You are trully an inspiration- life threw everything at you it seems and yet you can still write a post where you are positive about who you have become.


im down with the fatty happy party...

queso dip?
or guac?

BOTH....
duh!:doh:

thanks for the props too.


----------



## Haunted (Jul 3, 2008)

Wow, 

iv been intrigued by amatrix since i first stumbled upon her vids on Youtube Back in November 07, i was impressed with her amazing confidence and her creativity, 1, with her words and 2, with her Vids. I had no idea how much you had overcome to get to this point.

This is what i mean though hearing how you came to realize that fat is beautiful and to embrace it even against Society's Anti fat attitude, Gives me this warm, Happy, Content feeling It's Like an overwhelming Joy, and I am so Happy for you and Proud of you.

You were an inspiration for me at one point, a couple of your vids where obviously for a long distance Love, and seeing those gave me hope and helped me affirm that the roller coaster is worth it (of course My little moments are Nothing compared to what some of you have faced) 

But your stories and Journeys make a difference, and touch us all in one way or another 

Thank you so Much Amatrix for posting and for saving this thread LOL

you truly are one of the most beautiful and most inspiring around here 

Much Love and All Respect



Amatrix said:


> What brought me to this point of being happy and confident and everything else thats good in my life?
> well, to be honest i hit rock bottom.
> i take responsibility for my actions on how i did that.
> 
> ...


----------



## exile in thighville (Jul 3, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> Its really easy to look at women like Ivy, Nicki, Melissa and Reenaye and be happy for them for being the happiest they've ever been, but its also hard at the same time because they have husbands/ bf's/fiancees/etc that help make them so happy as well.
> 
> The simple fact is the women who are open to anything and aren't afraid to flaunt what they got....are already taken. I can't tell you how many paysite models, web models, etc who are already in love with someone else, and the ones that are single either have their eye on someone or live on the other side of the universe.
> 
> ...



Recruit. I did it and lucked out, and I'm no casanova. Date fat girls and tell them how you feel until one bites. And you shouldn't be dating a 140 lb girl and looking for someone comfortable at a higher weight, unless I (and I think I did) misconstrued the importance of one over the other. It's no taller a task than finding any mate with a personality, a zest for intimacy, intelligence, everything else desirable. And look at the glass as half full: all the fatties in this country who can't be bothered to slim down...you don't think any of them are waiting to be accepted at "a higher weight"?


----------



## Amatrix (Jul 3, 2008)

aww thanks so much for the support! you were there from the start... holy cow!
i have come along way... and interestingly enough i enjoyed the ride.
thank so much for all the sweet words...:blush::blush:

a few of the videos were for a long distance love.even if im not with that specific person now...i dont regret a moment of it.

every relationship has moments... to be honest. sometimes they are good and sometimes they arent so much fun. it kinda depends on your tolerence for certain issues... like i personally will not date someone out of my country... or someone who is more then 8 hours away. its a learning process, which changes and grows.

the videos i made for that man really helped me love myself even more. like besides having awesome boobs... i learned to love my "chicken wings" and butt, and even my double chins.

i didnt mean to act like my life story was worse then most... i just noticed a clear pattern in how it went down and now im on top again. if childhood was always fun i dont think we would ever grow up.
i have had some rough times... but a ton of super cool times.
no regrets.

you and your wife inspire more people then you think, and are greatly admired as well.
amazing people doing amazing things.:bow:

once again thank you...:bow::happy:
now i have something to gloat about.



Haunted said:


> Wow,
> 
> iv been intrigued by amatrix since i first stumbled upon her vids on Youtube Back in November 07, i was impressed with her amazing confidence and her creativity, 1, with her words and 2, with her Vids. I had no idea how much you had overcome to get to this point.
> 
> ...


----------



## KHayes666 (Jul 3, 2008)

exile in thighville said:


> Recruit. I did it and lucked out, and I'm no casanova. Date fat girls and tell them how you feel until one bites. And you shouldn't be dating a 140 lb girl and looking for someone comfortable at a higher weight, unless I (and I think I did) misconstrued the importance of one over the other. It's no taller a task than finding any mate with a personality, a zest for intimacy, intelligence, everything else desirable. And look at the glass as half full: all the fatties in this country who can't be bothered to slim down...you don't think any of them are waiting to be accepted at "a higher weight"?



If I was dating a 140 lb girl I wouldn't be looking for someone comfortable at a higher weight, I'm just saying that with pregnancy there's no guarantee she'd be back to 140 after having a baby...so basically what I'm trying to say is if find someone considered "thin" or "normal" I'd like to have a soulmate who doesn't count callories nor freaks out if she gains a pound or two.

I'm seriously thinking about talking to my old buddies again and going back to the Clubs, I mean what I'm doing now I feel is a lost cause. Amatrix, Kortana, Melissa, and on and on, those women who admire themselves are already taken. The last "big girl" I dated was in shock that I admired her curves and considered it "disgusting" I found her attractive.

Looks aren't nessicary in a relationship, I've dated some girls who were sweeter than candy but had a head better suited for fish piers. I go for personality above else, but I've learned from my mistake with my ex-fiancee to have someone happy with themselves. Lately I've found a lot of unhappy overweight girls and with every "I love myself and my boyfriend" post I see on her, it makes me long for the old days of T.R.P. at Club Mantra....and that's something I wouldn't have dreamed of 2 months ago.


----------



## Haunted (Jul 3, 2008)

Amatrix said:


> aww thanks so much for the support! you were there from the start... holy cow!



Wow your online journey and your videos started 8 months ago you have come a long way very quickly 




Amatrix said:


> didnt mean to act like my life story was worse then most... i just noticed a clear pattern in how it went down and now im on top again. if childhood was always fun i dont think we would ever grow up.
> i have had some rough times... but a ton of super cool times.
> no regrets.



and You didn't, i was just didn't want to seem like i was wining about whoa is me My girl is 3000 miles away, Meanwhile you and melissa and others have some real life challenges that they've overcome and my little issue is a drop in the bucket compared to All, but your videos inspired me non the less!



Amatrix said:


> and your wife inspire more people then you think, and are greatly admired as well.
> amazing people doing amazing things.:bow:




No Biggie But she's Not My wife at least Not yet, things are a bit complicated in that area but we are working towards a solution 
She is However My everything, She's My sun, My Stars, The reason I get through each day, 
:kiss2::smitten:She's My Misty Dawn :smitten::kiss2:​



I Love her with all my heart foreva and always truly and deeply 

More than all the Fishes in the sea !!!


----------



## LillyBBBW (Jul 3, 2008)

Right now I am in the process of losing weight. Believe me, it is under complete duress, I don't want to lose weight. I've discovered a food allergy so I had to eliminate certain things from my diet. I'm eating way more than I did before but I'm dropping weight like crazy. I was expecting to gain so I bought all my clothes for the season to be a little bit big on me.  

I'm not one who is big on numbers but I really felt at the top of my game when I reached 400. I glowed in every photo, my skin looked better, my hair looked better, my eyes sparkled, my entire body seems so bouyant, full and lush - no half steppin'. I felt like I'd reached another dimension of sensuality. I'm trying to be satisfied with myself at any size, afterall I'm still me. But damn.


----------



## LoveBHMS (Jul 3, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> Right now I am in the process of losing weight. Believe me, it is under complete duress, I don't want to lose weight. I've discovered a food allergy so I had to eliminate certain things from my diet. I'm eating way more than I did before but I'm dropping weight like crazy. I was expecting to gain so I bought all my clothes for the season to be a little bit big on me.
> 
> I'm not one who is big on numbers but I really felt at the top of my game when I reached 400. I glowed in every photo, my skin looked better, my hair looked better, my eyes sparkled, my entire body seems so bouyant, full and lush - no half steppin'. I felt like I'd reached another dimension of sensuality. I'm trying to be satisfied with myself at any size, afterall I'm still me. But damn.



I'm guessing you're still gonna be a hottie and that many of the FAs around here will agree.

Just a hunch.


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## Amatrix (Jul 3, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> I'm seriously thinking about talking to my old buddies again and going back to the Clubs, I mean what I'm doing now I feel is a lost cause. Amatrix, Kortana, Melissa, and on and on, those women who admire themselves are already taken.
> .


i just wanted to say the whole reason i think i caught ABBFA's eye is because of my level of confidence.
he sent me a message on youtube about how pretty and confident and all that happy sappy stuff was just amazing to see.
my level if self respect and self esteem/confidence did catch his eye... and if you ask him- it tends to rub off on him.
i remember when we were looking into the mirror the first time i stayed with him at his house... and he just watched as i was there naked in front of the mirror, totally loving my body. just looking at it and running my hands over it...
now, you can catch him doing that too- to himself after he shaves or is getting out of the shower... and he proclaims "damn i am sexy..." and then has a cheeky grin about himself.
all of my awesome traits i had LONG before him. its a slow process for us girls... really its hard. i even have some bad days still.

so i mean i feel for you when you say you feel like its a lost cause... but at the same time... it takes a long time...its taken about 10 years for me really, and there is still room for improvement.

it is one of the most challenging but rewarding things you can do for yourself.

then again, in your defense- some people are comfortable in their sadness, or fear of self acceptance.those people are the kind that wont change, and thats their deal.
sometimes we dont even know there are other view points... i had no idea i was something beautiful because of the cliche that i was always told i wasnt beautiful- through media and other means. its funny how through media i once again found another point of view.



Haunted said:


> Wow your online journey and your videos started 8 months ago you have come a long way very quickly
> 
> 
> and You didn't, i was just didn't want to seem like i was wining about whoa is me My girl is 3000 miles away, Meanwhile you and melissa and others have some real life challenges that they've overcome and my little issue is a drop in the bucket compared to All, but your videos inspired me non the less!
> ...



thank you very much for the sweet words.:bow:
to be in a committed Long distance relationship is tough, i personally applaud you- really. i couldnt do that. i tried and tried... and new it was just to much for me. so kudos to you for being stronger, and braver.

LDRs are hard... mines like 5 hours south, straight shot- and i still struggle with it.i am glad i could inspire you! ^_^ that was the goal towards the end- before they were being stolen for like weight loss drugs, and dating services sites.one of the reasons i stopped making them, they were being stolen to promote things i didnt want to represent, or be responsible for. plus it was all slightly misleading.

your issue is not something small... i dont think one persons issues are bigger or more then anyone elses... they just entail different emotions and reactions.
thanks again for being a fan! :bow:
oh yea i read about that on another thread i think... i wish you both luck and god speed.
i apologize, you both have the i dont know... the devotion of a married couple.and if she is your everything... then what more could she ask for?:happy:






LillyBBBW said:


> Right now I am in the process of losing weight. Believe me, it is under complete duress, I don't want to lose weight. I've discovered a food allergy so I had to eliminate certain things from my diet. I'm eating way more than I did before but I'm dropping weight like crazy. I was expecting to gain so I bought all my clothes for the season to be a little bit big on me.
> 
> I'm not one who is big on numbers but I really felt at the top of my game when I reached 400. I glowed in every photo, my skin looked better, my hair looked better, my eyes sparkled, my entire body seems so bouyant, full and lush - no half steppin'. I felt like I'd reached another dimension of sensuality. I'm trying to be satisfied with myself at any size, afterall I'm still me. But damn.



oh man. o_o
a food allergy? thats horrid! know what? im having issues reaching 400 too.
i was doing great until i starting working as hard as i do... i cant keep it on anymore. took me 2 months to get to like 376, now im back to 362. >.< took 2 months to put it on- 3 weeks to take it off???

even just 10 pounds- really makes a difference on me.
im sure your lovely, no matter what. your a lovely person from what i know of you here ^_^
i hope you can find that happiness again at no matter what size.
your in my thoughts and prayers.its tough, really.but your a lovely woman and you can pull through this rough patch.:happy:


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## Still a Skye fan (Jul 3, 2008)

Haunted said:


> Ok so this fall once Melissa is in NY I'll fly Kali Out Kortana Can Meet us in Vermont and we'll Party Like Rockstars in NY with Bruce And Melissa Who else is in !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Hey...wait a minute!

I live in NY! I hope this means I'd be welcome to the festivities?

I can bring pie! 


On a less silly note...I'm enjoying this interesting thread and it's inspiring to know that there are so many beautiful, confident and absolutely sexy BBWs out there who are perfectly happy with themselves.


Hugs

Dennis


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## largenlovely (Jul 3, 2008)

hell we'll just make a huge party out of it....c'mon along lol



Still a Skye fan said:


> Hey...wait a minute!
> 
> I live in NY! I hope this means I'd be welcome to the festivities?
> 
> ...


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## Still a Skye fan (Jul 3, 2008)

Yay!

~Does happy dance~


This thread is also making me hungry...curse you Dimensions! (LOL!)

Yeah, it's time to go raid the local chinese buffet when I'm done visiting here.



Hugs

Dennis


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 3, 2008)

Amatrix said:


> ih man. o_o
> a food allergy? thats horrid! know what? im having issues reaching 400 too.
> i was doing great until i starting working as hard as i do... i cant keep it on anymore. took me 2 months to get to like 376, now im back to 362. >.< took 2 months to put it on- 3 weeks to take it off???
> 
> ...



Well it's not quite a food allergy, it's more like a food intolerance. All those foods they tell you are supposed to be good for you and you're supposed to fill up on messed up my stomach for years. I finally decided, "To hell with that!" and started eating the stuff I liked till I was full and satisfied and I.felt.GREAT!! No more foliage and gruel, no more sour sizzling stomach. All this time I thought I was gaining and was pretty pleased with myself till I went to the doctor and found I'd lost 30 pounds.  I thought there must be some mistake but two months later I went back and found I lost 12 more. And its not like I'm skimping or anything. I'm full to the max, I still eat bread, I have ice cream. I feel like what I'm doing overall is better for me so if this is the way it's gotta be then this is the way it's gotta be. 364 aint so bad I guess, but I feel a bit less celestial. I'm worried I will lose too much. I hope it will stop at some point but my overall health is what's most important. If this is the way it's gotta be then this is the way it's gotta be but I do miss the old me sometimes. I feel like a big part of myself is slipping away.


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## Amatrix (Jul 3, 2008)

Still a Skye fan said:


> Yay!
> 
> ~Does happy dance~
> 
> ...



not fair.


mine was closed today because a grease fire.

GAH!
*writes a note*
do not come to dims when your hungry- will make you crabby starving.

im seriously eating sour mint things.and thinking about going to *gulp* mc donalds.


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## CleverBomb (Jul 3, 2008)

LoveBHMS said:


> I'm guessing you're still gonna be a hottie and that many of the FAs around here will agree.
> 
> Just a hunch.


He's right, you know.

-Rusty


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## largenlovely (Jul 3, 2008)

I'm sorry Lilly  though i'd be scared if i was losing weight like that... I remember one time i started losing weight and didn't know what it was from and it scared the crap out of me. Though..i mean, if you're changing your diet, i suppose that would be a no brainer...it'd still scare me though. Sorry you're having to go through all that  but yes...to reiterate what everyone else said, you're still drop dead freaking gorgeous no matter what and i'll still love ya even if you was a toothpick lol 



LillyBBBW said:


> Well it's not quite a food allergy, it's more like a food intolerance. All those foods they tell you are supposed to be good for you and you're supposed to fill up on messed up my stomach for years. I finally decided, "To hell with that!" and started eating the stuff I liked till I was full and satisfied and I.felt.GREAT!! No more foliage and gruel, no more sour sizzling stomach. All this time I thought I was gaining and was pretty pleased with myself till I went to the doctor and found I'd lost 30 pounds.  I thought there must be some mistake but two months later I went back and found I lost 12 more. And its not like I'm skimping or anything. I'm full to the max, I still eat bread, I have ice cream. I feel like what I'm doing overall is better for me so if this is the way it's gotta be then this is the way it's gotta be. 364 aint so bad I guess, but I feel a bit less celestial. I'm worried I will lose too much. I hope it will stop at some point but my overall health is what's most important. If this is the way it's gotta be then this is the way it's gotta be but I do miss the old me sometimes. I feel like a big part of myself is slipping away.


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 4, 2008)

largenlovely said:


> I'm sorry Lilly  though i'd be scared if i was losing weight like that... I remember one time i started losing weight and didn't know what it was from and it scared the crap out of me. Though..i mean, if you're changing your diet, i suppose that would be a no brainer...it'd still scare me though. Sorry you're having to go through all that  but yes...to reiterate what everyone else said, you're still drop dead freaking gorgeous no matter what and i'll still love ya even if you was a toothpick lol



You and me both 'lissa, I was scared shitless. Everybody around me was leaping into the air like "Ding Dong The Witch is Dead." Meanwhile my mind was in wtf mode. I wanted to post something here but my posts here usually don't garner much interest or understanding so eventually I called my mom crying incoherrantly. Gawd it was awful. I went to my doctor and insisted on being checked out. I'm having other symptoms, painful joints, my hair was breaking off from a botched home dye job and I was imagining the worst.  It was the most terrifying 3 months of my life. The only person I had to talk to candidly about it was LoveBHMS and it was at the apex of 'Canklegate' so that's how that goes. 

At this point I'm 95% off the ledge about it and resigned to attribute it to my new eating habits but there is still this current of doubt there. I still have this underlying feeling that when a fat person is losing weight people don't really care why and that the doctor merely made a skimming attempt to look at it further. I know he ordered just about every test that exists though and I have the bills to prove it.


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## Haunted (Jul 4, 2008)

Well i hoping and praying that it is just a change in diet. Not exactly related but the body does react strange changes. I was in a motorcycle accident about 7 years ago I broke both arms shattering my right elbow (actually i think pulverized is a more accurate description, ant way my right arm was rebuilt using Titanium, works very well i have some limited movement but nothing to serious. Any way after surgery The skin on my right arm began to peel off kind of like a snakes would lol. and i was losing hair by the handful because of the accident and the invasive nature of my surgery my body went into shock sort of It was scary cause i didn't know if and when the skin on my arm would ever be normal and i'm also kinda Vain and didn't want to be bald lol.

And lilly i'v read a bunch of your posts and i feel like i should have commented, i know how it can be you try to throw a comment in and it just gets looked at and everyonr just kind of walks by This is the first thread i started that got any attention Most of mu posts just got kicked aside, So don't think noones reading them (I am) and i'll be sure to comment from now on 
Hugs 
Hope it turns out to be nothing
Billy



LillyBBBW said:


> You and me both 'lissa, I was scared shitless. Everybody around me was leaping into the air like "Ding Dong The Witch is Dead." Meanwhile my mind was in wtf mode. I wanted to post something here but my posts here usually don't garner much interest or understanding so eventually I called my mom crying incoherrantly. Gawd it was awful. I went to my doctor and insisted on being checked out. I'm having other symptoms, painful joints, my hair was breaking off from a botched home dye job and I was imagining the worst.  It was the most terrifying 3 months of my life. The only person I had to talk to candidly about it was LoveBHMS and it was at the apex of 'Canklegate' so that's how that goes.
> 
> At this point I'm 95% off the ledge about it and resigned to attribute it to my new eating habits but there is still this current of doubt there. I still have this underlying feeling that when a fat person is losing weight people don't really care why and that the doctor merely made a skimming attempt to look at it further. I know he ordered just about every test that exists though and I have the bills to prove it.


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## largenlovely (Jul 4, 2008)

I know from experience how scary this stuff can be...I sent ya an email, but just gonna say it too here on the boards for anyone that might read it.

I was scared to death when i started losing weight and didn't know why. I was also having all kinds of crazy symptoms. What seemed to be panic attacks, also painful joints, my throat felt like it was swelling a lot. I was sick to my stomach all the time. I didn't start experiencing these things til after i moved in with my ex boyfriend. He had just bought a house. The doctors found that i had a buttload of tumors on my thyroid at the time and explained it away with that...though my ex later wrote to me and said that he found large amounts of mold behind the walls in the bathroom while remodelling everything. So i'm sure some of those weird crazy symtpoms were from a bad mold allergy. This was years ago...but to this day i can tell if a house has mold in it from the way my body reacts. It's scary scary stuff



LillyBBBW said:


> You and me both 'lissa, I was scared shitless. Everybody around me was leaping into the air like "Ding Dong The Witch is Dead." Meanwhile my mind was in wtf mode. I wanted to post something here but my posts here usually don't garner much interest or understanding so eventually I called my mom crying incoherrantly. Gawd it was awful. I went to my doctor and insisted on being checked out. I'm having other symptoms, painful joints, my hair was breaking off from a botched home dye job and I was imagining the worst.  It was the most terrifying 3 months of my life. The only person I had to talk to candidly about it was LoveBHMS and it was at the apex of 'Canklegate' so that's how that goes.
> 
> At this point I'm 95% off the ledge about it and resigned to attribute it to my new eating habits but there is still this current of doubt there. I still have this underlying feeling that when a fat person is losing weight people don't really care why and that the doctor merely made a skimming attempt to look at it further. I know he ordered just about every test that exists though and I have the bills to prove it.


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## Curious Jane (Jul 4, 2008)

I haven't really gained that much--not sure if I'm even a "chubby" girl yet, let alone a fat one...but I find that being able to eat what I want has really made me happier. It's not that I even eat all that much, but just being able to eat a doughnut or whatever without guilt is wonderful.

I hope I can keep enjoying it even if I do get fat!


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## Haunted (Jul 4, 2008)

Curious Jane said:


> I haven't really gained that much--not sure if I'm even a "chubby" girl yet, let alone a fat one...but I find that being able to eat what I want has really made me happier. It's not that I even eat all that much, but just being able to eat a doughnut or whatever without guilt is wonderful.
> 
> I hope I can keep enjoying it even if I do get fat!



SO what's the story have you just vowed to stop dieting or have you always wanted to be bigger, I think it's ridiculous how people feel guilty about enjoying anything,


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## Curious Jane (Jul 4, 2008)

Haunted said:


> SO what's the story have you just vowed to stop dieting or have you always wanted to be bigger



I didn't want to be bigger--still not sure I want that. But I hate dieting and found it really hard to do after my bf told me he wanted me to gain. 

I mean, he wasn't insistent about it or anything, but he wasn't at all appreciative about my efforts to stay thin. Dieting didn't seem worth it. I checked out this site and others, and realized it's possible to be happy and fat (I never knew!).

So I'm giving it a try...


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## largenlovely (Jul 4, 2008)

there's nothing like the true freedom you experience when you finally accept yourself and decide that it truly doesn't matter what other people think about your life and how you live it  I think after the acceptance comes a love for your body that a lot of people, regardless of size, wish they had. good luck on your journey



Curious Jane said:


> I didn't want to be bigger--still not sure I want that. But I hate dieting and found it really hard to do after my bf told me he wanted me to gain.
> 
> I mean, he wasn't insistent about it or anything, but he wasn't at all appreciative about my efforts to stay thin. Dieting didn't seem worth it. I checked out this site and others, and realized it's possible to be happy and fat (I never knew!).
> 
> So I'm giving it a try...


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## Curious Jane (Jul 4, 2008)

Freedom is right...I used to let myself have "pig-out" days once a month where I could eat whatever I wanted...and now every day is like that! It's wild.


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## largenlovely (Jul 4, 2008)

hehe i never experienced it like that...i always allowed myself those days anyway (and more than once a month hehe)...mine was liberating when i finally realized it was ok for me to dress sexy. I went waaaaaay over the top with it at first lol, but it was still quite liberating and the sense of freedom was so intense that i wanted other fat girls to know about it lol



Curious Jane said:


> Freedom is right...I used to let myself have "pig-out" days once a month where I could eat whatever I wanted...and now every day is like that! It's wild.


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