# Dating



## JustmeinGA (Jan 24, 2011)

I've been an on again off again member here for about 5 years (been gone for about 3), lost my original log in and email, so I apologize. The reason why I mention that is because I didn't want people to think this is my "first" post... Not that it would be a bad topic for a first post I guess...
Never mind I'm rambling...
On to the subject....Dating.
I think I'm dating retarded...seriously...I don't know how to do it. I know a lot of it is my own fault, I live in a fairly secluded area, there aren't any bars/clubs around here and I don't drink. I love to dance but--like I said no clubs. I've looked at the online dating sites...and well there just isn't anything attractive about a guy who calls him self anaconda for anatomical reasons. Okay, maybe for some it is...but seriously... And where men aren't making brags about the size of their pet snake they are requesting size three chicks with over stimulate uteruses for an instant family...

Any who...so I'm left to sit here and wonder...maybe I really am meant to be alone. It's depressing really, I feel like I have a lot to give but at the same time I feel like maybe I'm expecting too much...like a guy who's a good honest guy, with a back bone, who won't try to Jenny Craige me to death, who can be supportive of my adventures and will appreciate me when I support/help them.

I've tried finding writing groups (I'm a writer) just to make human contacts--alas that doesn't even work as I seem the odd "chick" out on that end too...

What the hell? Maybe I need to just brick up my windows and be content with DSL and man candy pictures that my friends post on facebook (and actually no, I'm not expecting man candy (I actually prefer geeks,nerds,gamers,trekkies, and nice guys), to me they're (man candy)kind of like fine china, pretty to look at but you don't want to actually eat off of it because it might get scratched)...not that I eat off guys...crap...that did not come out like I meant for it too...never mind....
The point I am trying to make--I guess--is that I feel like the real world has more fiction than the novels I write...and way too few happy endings...
Do other women (or even men) feel this way at times. Please tell me I'm not the only one or I may be forced to seal myself in the writing cave and never come out again.


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## Filly (Jan 26, 2011)

JustmeinGA said:


> Any who...so I'm left to sit here and wonder...maybe I really am meant to be alone.
> 
> Do other women (or even men) feel this way at times. Please tell me I'm not the only one or I may be forced to seal myself in the writing cave and never come out again.



Hi There,

I can definitely sympathize with how you're feeling. I've often found myself at points where I feel destined to be alone. Sometimes it feels that no matter what I do - no matter how hard I try - the universe has already determined that I will remain alone and lonely. 

However, despite these sometimes frequent feelings of hopelessness, I remind myself that the world is really _not _out to make my life miserable! I know it can be hard to stay positive at times, but getting yourself down about things can only lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy scenario in which your thoughts create or lead to that which you are mentally pre-occupied with (i.e. being alone). In my opinion, loneliness breeds loneliness. I know when I'm feeling low, I am more likely to stay home with a cup of tea rather than go out and socialize, which of course doesn't help the situation. It's like being caught in a cycle. 

I'm making a lot of assumptions about how your singledom is actually making you feel, however I can only respond from my own perspective and experience. 

Have you tried any BBW specific dating sites? I've had some success with that. I know others on here have had mixed experienced with BBW specific sites, but I think it's worth a shot. No matter which internet dating site you look at, there is bound to be countless creeps who you aren't remotely interested in. However there may also be the odd one who you really connect with. I would also suggest going to Dimensions meets. You could look at meetup.com or citysocialising.com (UK only) to see if there are any interest groups which might tickle your fancy. I'm also an advocate for adult education - such as learning a language, learning how to paint etc which is another way to meet people. 

In some ways, it's a little disappointing that Dimensions doesn't have a dating/personals forum, but I also understand why the webmasters etc have chosen not to go down that road. 

Anyway, apologies for my long-winded response!! In a nut-shell, rest assured other women sometimes feel the same as you. You're not alone!


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## penguin (Jan 26, 2011)

JustmeinGA said:


> Do other women (or even men) feel this way at times. Please tell me I'm not the only one or I may be forced to seal myself in the writing cave and never come out again.



Of course they do. It can be hard to meet someone you're attracted to and compatible with. I think that getting out there and living, doing things for you that you enjoy, rather than focusing on who's out there and dating, can help. Focusing on yourself and doing what you enjoy makes you happier, which in turn can make you more attractive and appealing, and others pick up on that.


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## JustmeinGA (Jan 28, 2011)

Filly said:


> Hi There,
> 
> 
> Have you tried any BBW specific dating sites? I've had some success with that. I know others on here have had mixed experienced with BBW specific sites, but I think it's worth a shot. No matter which internet dating site you look at, there is bound to be countless creeps who you aren't remotely interested in. However there may also be the odd one who you really connect with. I would also suggest going to Dimensions meets. You could look at meetup.com or citysocialising.com (UK only) to see if there are any interest groups which might tickle your fancy. I'm also an advocate for adult education - such as learning a language, learning how to paint etc which is another way to meet people.
> ...




Hey, and thanks for the pep talk. Yes I have done some on the dating sites but the only people that seem interested live in a different state...and therefor I really wonder if they are interested..ya know?
Any how, maybe I will keep trying...well I know I will because I'm a stubborn ass


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