# Fat Talk?



## Arrhythmia (Apr 15, 2011)

I just happened across this while reading an article on 6 unhealthy things we should stop saying:

Cut 'Fat Talk' Out of Your Diet

It was very enlightening and I wanted to share it with all of you.
What was so cool was that their suggestions to stop talking fat to ourselves is accomplished by being an active member on Dims. Way to go Dimensions!!

The article ends as such:

_The bottom line is that fat talk helps no one and hurts our self-esteem. The next time you feel tempted, remember this time-honored piece of advice instead: If you dont have something nice to say, dont say anything at all. Even if its about yourself._

Leave your thoughts.....


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## DarkestBurningStar (Apr 16, 2011)

That was very insightful, and so true. I have been doing this a lot lately:



> Start slinging praise. “Go heavy on the compliments and start a new way of relating to your friends,” says Raja. “If you notice that the color of your friend’s shirt is great, tell her. Let your sister know that her smile made your day. You might start a trend!”



Next step is to cut that "fat talk" out. I am tired of feeling bad for being fat. This is who I am right now, and I need to learn to love it. From now on I am going to start speaking positively of others AND myself. Whether people think I'm smug or not~!


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## Punkin1024 (Apr 17, 2011)

I liked this article! I posted it on Facebook too. I wish there were more articles like this that focus on being positive about yourself and others. Thanks for posting the link!


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## herin (Apr 23, 2011)

Thanks so much for posting that link. It's good to remember that we need to be good to ourselves. I can be kind, gracious, patient and forgiving with others, but I am super-hard on myself. Maybe not so much with appearance, but everything else. I have a really hard time accepting anything other than perfection from me.


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## Arrhythmia (Apr 23, 2011)

herin said:


> I can be kind, gracious, patient and forgiving with others, but I am super-hard on myself. Maybe not so much with appearance, but everything else. I have a really hard time accepting anything other than perfection from me.



Me, too, Dear. And re-learning not to bash myself is so hard!


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## tinkerbell (Apr 23, 2011)

Yes, this works. A few years ago I stopped the internal negative broken record I had going. It was a hard habit to break, and took awhile, but I did it. I used to look in the mirror and tell myself I was fat, ugly, disgusting, gross, look at that gross stomach, those gross stretch marks, my ugly face, whatever I was picking on at that moment. And I stopped and would say something nice about myself. Some days it was hard, and some days I was faking it, but I eventually broke that negative self talk. I can say that I am fat now, without it bothering me - I am still fat. But its not a dirty word anymore - it just describes one particular physical thing about me. But I'm hot and beautiful at any weight. 

On another board I frequent, where I mod the weight loss boards, that is one of the first things I tell my friends there to STOP doing. They will constantly post about how fat and ugly they are - that those words go together, and they DON'T. And I am constantly trying to show that to them. 

Anyway, I know this isn't a place that welcomes weight loss talk, but honestly stopping the ugly talk about myself is the number one reason I've been able to lose this weight AND keep it off this time. 

My self worth, and self love is no longer wrapped up in my weight. And I love that.

Thank you for sharing this, I plan on posting it on my FB account, and on the other forum I go to!


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## tinkerbell (Apr 23, 2011)

Oh and I don't think that stopping this type of talk is only for those trying/hoping to lose weight, I hope that my post didn't imply that. I realized that after I posted it, and I cant go back and edit it.

I think its important for everyone who does this to themselves to do what they need to, to stop this. Women in particular can be so hard on themselves and so MEAN to themselves. And it does so much damage.


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## herin (Apr 24, 2011)

I agree with you, Tinkerbell. Size acceptance to me, is about accepting one's size. If a person is not comfortable with how they look, then they need to change something. Whether that something be physical or emotional, they need to be happy and find joy inside themselves.


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## Arrhythmia (Apr 24, 2011)

herin said:


> I agree with you, Tinkerbell. Size acceptance to me, is about accepting one's size. If a person is not comfortable with how they look, then they need to change something. Whether that something be physical or emotional, they need to be happy and find joy inside themselves.


I am _so_ trying to find this joy. I've been large all my life and you would think that after 47 years I would have made peace with it.


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## herin (Apr 24, 2011)

It's a hard thing to learn - self love. I wish you all the luck in the world on your journey.


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## Cyn (May 3, 2011)

great article! I decided to stop telling myself how horrible and gross I am. I was also telling myself that my husband feels the same way until I would pick a fight with him over it. Sometimes he gets so frustrated and tells me he never said those things about me and does NOT think that. THe more I would tell myself how terrible I am, the more depressed I'd become and the more fights I'd pick with my husband. 
The last few weeks I've been working REALLY hard to find something positive to say outloud to myself when I look in the mirror. It's been so hard somedays and other days I truly believe it  Thanks for sharing this article :bow: , I too shared it on fb.


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## Tau (May 3, 2011)

I thought this was gona be about sex LOL!


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## Tracyarts (May 3, 2011)

Why is it that as women, we are seemingly obliged to think and speak of ourselves negatively?

I belong to a large crafts related message board that is made up of mostly women, and the "off topic" forum is filled with this kind of stuff. You can't discuss fashion, makeup, hair, etc... without the fat talk along with ugly talk and old talk showing up after a few posts. But fat talk seems to overshadow it all. 

It's so overwhelming to read that I have to log off and walk away because just reading the threads about current fashion trends and whatnot just make me feel like I have to defend my right not to hate myself for not being the right weight, the right height, the right age, the right size breasts, etc... Usually I speak up and type a self-affirming kind of response that goes against the grain, but sometimes I think "what's the point"? And I have to limit my time on that board in general because if I spend too much time on it, I start getting sucked into the negativity and start feeling bad about myself. 

It's not just fat though. And, not just old, not just ugly, but everything. Money, job, hobbies, family, beliefs, opinions, food, shopping, etc... Fat talk is where it starts maybe, but it just works its way into every part of our lives. All the negative self-judgements and measuring up. 

Tracy


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## Tau (May 3, 2011)

@Tracy - I think its because people have bought the lie that somebody out there is living the perfect life that they have always dreamt of living and if they just get thin enough, rich enough, wear the right clothes, party in the right places, that perfect life will finally be theirs. Too many people don't get that perfection doesn't exist and that life really is about the little awesome moment, the good things we feel, the love we have. The key is to just stop comparing yourself to other people - it's the epitome of futility because there will always be some new amazing happiness that is just out of your reach.


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