# Sweet Revenge Anyone?



## veggieforever (Nov 23, 2013)

*A very good friend of mine, and a beautiful SSBBW to boot, was telling me a story yesterday and it got me thinking about times when us girls perhaps had a moment of sweet, sweet revenge or a moment when someone who had done us wrong got their just desserts? Her tale (in a nutshell) went something like this:

A stuck-up skinny girl at her workplace used to make weight related comments about how she couldnt be "big" and how she loved being petite etc etc blah, blah, blah... and her views were strong and at times offensive according to my friend.

Well...

After a bicycle accident and a broken leg or arm (both?) or something she was put on some pretty high strength steroids and 6 months later she turns up to work 4st heavier (60lbs) heavier and a helluva lot humbler!! My friend said she had never smiled so much on shift and had to go into the ladies loo's and have a giggle followed by some fist punches to the air whispering "yes! yes! yesssssssssssss!" lol I know it sounds terrible but this girl apparently made a habit of making others feel small so the outcome was suh-weeeeeeeeeeeeeet and hopefully a lesson in acceptance and remembering you never know what the future holds for you so be nice... 

Anyone else have a story or sweet, sweet revenge or a time where someone got their cumuppence?*


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## Dr. Feelgood (Nov 23, 2013)

In my own experience, the sweetness of revenge fades quickly and leaves a bitter aftertaste.  Your mileage may vary.


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## veggieforever (Nov 23, 2013)

[/COLOR]


Dr. Feelgood said:


> In my own experience, the sweetness of revenge fades quickly and leaves a bitter aftertaste.  Your mileage may vary.



*True but my point is to hear stories about the "under-dog" coming out on top. I am hoping to hear stories of empowerment. There is nothing better than the hurt party ending up triumphant inside and outside issues of weight.*


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## Donna (Nov 23, 2013)

How is it revenge that the other woman gained weight? Did the fat hater learn a life's lesson by experiencing weight gain that she disdained (and I am assuming not liking herself too much for it thus a life lesson)? Perhaps, but how does that benefit your friend? 

I have always been taught it is wrong to take glee in another's misfortune, even if that person was hateful to you in the first place or you feel they are getting their "just desserts." Being triumphant means rising above and being the better person. Gloating over another's misfortune, whether actual or perceived, is also bad for your own Karma. Just sayin'.


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## cinnamitch (Nov 23, 2013)

Yep, I agree with you on this one Donna.



Donna said:


> How is it revenge that the other woman gained weight? Did the fat hater learn a life's lesson by experiencing weight gain that she disdained (and I am assuming not liking herself too much for it thus a life lesson)? Perhaps, but how does that benefit your friend?
> 
> I have always been taught it is wrong to take glee in another's misfortune, even if that person was hateful to you in the first place or you feel they are getting their "just desserts." Being triumphant means rising above and being the better person. Gloating over another's misfortune, whether actual or perceived, is also bad for your own Karma. Just sayin'.


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## cinnamitch (Nov 23, 2013)

Empowerment should not come from the misfortune of others, It should be gained by learning to value yourself and stop listening to those who would bring you down. What's next? Cackling with glee when the high school bully ends up paralyzed?




veggieforever said:


> [/COLOR]
> 
> *True but my point is to hear stories about the "under-dog" coming out on top. I am hoping to hear stories of empowerment. There is nothing better than the hurt party ending up triumphant inside and outside issues of weight.*


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## edvis (Jan 1, 2014)

I try not to seek revenge. usually when ppl are stupid enough to act badly they screw up and something happens to them. Revenge fosters bitterness. That ill feeling turns into anger. Anger turned inward can lead to depression.


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## davidburton (Jan 1, 2014)

cinnamitch said:


> Empowerment should not come from the misfortune of others, It should be gained by learning to value yourself and stop listening to those who would bring you down. What's next? Cackling with glee when the high school bully ends up paralyzed?


I don't think there's anything wrong with revenge stories; anyway the girl gained some weight she didn't paralyze herself it's not that big of a deal.


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## AuntHen (Jan 1, 2014)

There is no *sweetness *nor *empowerment *in revenge. It's like using alcohol to numb your pain. Once the numbness wears off, the pain is still there.


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## Marlayna (Jan 1, 2014)

veggieforever said:


> *A very good friend of mine, and a beautiful SSBBW to boot, was telling me a story yesterday and it got me thinking about times when us girls perhaps had a moment of sweet, sweet revenge or a moment when someone who had done us wrong got their just desserts? Her tale (in a nutshell) went something like this:
> 
> A stuck-up skinny girl at her workplace used to make weight related comments about how she couldnt be "big" and how she loved being petite etc etc blah, blah, blah... and her views were strong and at times offensive according to my friend.
> 
> ...


 This story is great! The big-mouth got humbled, hahaha, and she did it to herself! I love it!


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## CleverBomb (Jan 1, 2014)

I'm not personally a big fan of _schadenfreude_.

Now, if the "stuck-up skinny girl" developed some empathy from this experience, that'd be worth noting positively. Simple body shame (unjustified, of course, but I'm talking about the subjective experience) isn't anything to be gleeful about.


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## CastingPearls (Jan 1, 2014)

CleverBomb said:


> I'm not personally a big fan of _schadenfreude_.
> 
> Now, if the "stuck-up skinny girl" developed some empathy from this experience, that'd be worth noting positively. Simple body shame (unjustified, of course, but I'm talking about the subjective experience) isn't anything to be gleeful about.


This. 

In a nutshell.


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## Marlayna (Jan 2, 2014)

CleverBomb said:


> I'm not personally a big fan of _schadenfreude_.
> 
> Now, if the "stuck-up skinny girl" developed some empathy from this experience, that'd be worth noting positively. Simple body shame (unjustified, of course, but I'm talking about the subjective experience) isn't anything to be gleeful about.


I see it more as irony, than happiness at someone's misfortune, but different strokes, as they say.


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## fritzi (Jan 2, 2014)

The responses to this thread so far reek of political correctness and hypocrisy. 

Of course _Schadenfreude_ is bad and you're not supposed to succumb to it.

Nevertheless - it's a basic human response and almost everybody would have at least some of it as a subconscious gut reaction to the situation the OP described. Only the goodie-two-shoes are taught to deny that.


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## cinnamitch (Jan 2, 2014)

fritzi said:


> The responses to this thread so far reek of political correctness and hypocrisy.
> 
> Of course _Schadenfreude_ is bad and you're not supposed to succumb to it.
> 
> Nevertheless - it's a basic human response and almost everybody would have at least some of it as a subconscious gut reaction to the situation the OP described. Only the goodie-two-shoes are taught to deny that.



Then I guess I am a goody two shoes.


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## CarlaSixx (Jan 2, 2014)

I call it karma. Having to now live out the bullshit you put others through. Yes, I have my own similar story. And I love that karma bit the skinny "health nut" bitch in the ass. I'm not sorry for feeling triumphant over an ex bully. Nor will I ever feel sorry for it. Its karma returning a favor.


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## AuntHen (Jan 2, 2014)

Goody Two Shoes Unite! I am singing Adam Ant right now 

Let's say someone killed one of your beloved family members and the next day was ran over by a bus... call it "karma" or "well deserved" but it's not going to bring your family member back nor is it going to make the grief go away and/or hurt any less. How does it help you? You tingle with delight at knowing they are dead too? Please! Give me a break. Revenge is usually an act of anger and/or hate (it's saturated in negativity)... no side gains much if anything *positive*.


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## CarlaSixx (Jan 2, 2014)

I didn't say it takes the pain away. But I'm not the only one who has to suffer. Which makes it better. I do get a tingle of delight when something goes bad for someone who did me wrong. Every time.


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## AuntHen (Jan 2, 2014)

CarlaSixx said:


> I didn't say it takes the pain away. But I'm not the only one who has to suffer. Which makes it better. I do get a tingle of delight when something goes bad for someone who did me wrong. Every time.




I was actually responding to fritzi. Sorry, should have made that more apparent!


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## fritzi (Jan 2, 2014)

fat9276 said:


> Goody Two Shoes Unite! I am singing Adam Ant right now
> 
> Let's say someone killed one of your beloved family members and the next day was ran over by a bus... call it "karma" or "well deserved" but it's not going to bring your family member back nor is it going to make the grief go away and/or hurt any less. How does it help you? You tingle with delight at knowing they are dead too? Please! Give me a break. Revenge is usually an act of anger and/or hate (it's saturated in negativity)... no side gains much if anything *positive*.



Your response confirms exactly what I was saying. 

It's not about right or wrong. Or whether revenge is of any use.

The need for revenge, for setting a perceived right wrong is a part of human nature, a basic instinct - in the end it's the root of our legal system. 

We educate and civilize these impulses into submission, learn that they are wrong and how to manage them, relegate them to the subconscious. 

But - all that doesn't mean they are no longer there. It just takes different triggers to let them surface with different people.

Denying their existence simply shows how well you've imbibed the Western social value system.


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## AuntHen (Jan 2, 2014)

fritzi said:


> Your response confirms exactly what I was saying.
> 
> It's not about right or wrong. Or whether revenge is of any use.
> 
> ...



It's not being PC or hypocrisy to have or *desire *a moral code. What degree of morality you choose is yes, up to you and everyone else. 

Had that person come up to the OP's friend and said "you know what, I fell in love with a fat man and I see that attraction and beauty in all sizes and I am sorry I put you or others down" THAT would be poetic justice (in my eyes). She gained weight and was ashamed of it. Meaning the shame of being fat and thinking being fat was shameful was *still there*. There was no good served or empowerment in this scenario IMO. Some fist pumps in the bathroom to symbolize "Yay she is fat now too haha"?

And we may understand that reaction and some of us may have even had those thoughts or reactions but it doesn't mean we have to like them or continue to be that way or not say "hey, that's not right or we could do better". If we all went around thinking or acting on our "base" humanity, I doubt many of us would be around anymore.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Jan 2, 2014)

fritzi said:


> The need for revenge, for setting a perceived right wrong is a part of human nature, a basic instinct .





fat9276 said:


> And we may understand that reaction and some of us may have even had those thoughts or reactions but it doesn't mean we have to like them or continue to be that way or not say "hey, that's not right or we could do better".



You're both right. Our feelings are not voluntary: they arise and pass away, and there is no sense in being either ashamed or proud of them. Feelings are not moral or immoral: they just are. Morality enters the picture when we decide to act -- or not -- on our feelings.


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## Marlayna (Jan 2, 2014)

Imo, there's nothing wrong or *immoral* with some private fist-pumping; it's not like the OP's friend put a Lane Bryant catalog on her desk...
This woman's comments were hurtful and unnecessary in the workplace, and obviously made others uncomfortable, so I hope she learned a valuable lesson. :happy:


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## AuntHen (Jan 2, 2014)

Here is what the OP said... _"*True but my point is to hear stories about the "under-dog" coming out on top. I am hoping to hear stories of empowerment.* There is nothing better than the hurt party ending up triumphant inside and outside issues of weight."_

Now, please tell me how her friend's story meets these requirements?

The title of the post/her friend's story and what she says she wants to hear about, do not match (at least not to me).


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## Saoirse (Jan 2, 2014)

i find it hilarious. 

Someone getting run over by a bus and someone gaining weight is NOT THE SAME.

Hopefully the formerly-skinny chick gets a taste of what its like to carry extra weight. And if she loses it and gets back down to her skinny weight, she might be a little more respectful of other people.


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## CastingPearls (Jan 2, 2014)

For years I indulged in schadenfreude, but now, for me there is no joy in others' misfortune, whether deserved or self-inflicted. Analyze to your heart's content; it doesn't matter to me. There's so much more lasting satisfaction in either finding common ground, helping out, or walking away from toxic people. We all change, some for better, some for worse. I'd rather it be better for all of us.


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## Saoirse (Jan 2, 2014)

I do not see this woman's weight gain as a misfortune, more like a lesson.


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## Marlayna (Jan 2, 2014)

Saoirse said:


> I do not see this woman's weight gain as a misfortune, more like a lesson.


Maybe she'll learn to love her new curves and accept herself. That would be so liberating for her.


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## AuntHen (Jan 3, 2014)

Saoirse said:


> i find it hilarious.
> 
> *Someone getting run over by a bus and someone gaining weight is NOT THE SAME.*
> 
> Hopefully the formerly-skinny chick gets a taste of what its like to carry extra weight. And if she loses it and gets back down to her skinny weight, she might be a little more respectful of other people.



It IS the same when you get joy from it and can laugh about it... whether they deserved it or not. Also, if we are talking about "karma" and what "goes around comes around", I would be wary of "reaping what I sow" when I decide to laugh or feel good about someone who is dealt a hard hand, regardless of how it came about or if they deserved it. I do not want to be the next to be laughed at or someone take joy when or if I fall on hard times/learn a life lesson.


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## azerty (Jan 3, 2014)

CastingPearls said:


> For years I indulged in schadenfreude, but now, for me there is no joy in others' misfortune, whether deserved or self-inflicted. Analyze to your heart's content; it doesn't matter to me. There's so much more lasting satisfaction in either finding common ground, helping out, or walking away from toxic people. We all change, some for better, some for worse. I'd rather it be better for all of us.



So wise and true


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## Sweet Tooth (Jan 3, 2014)

When I hear a story like this, I have the "poetic justice" reaction, but more in the hope that it will make someone more empathetic sort of way. If that means I'm a goody two-shoes, so be it. I don't need to rejoice in anyone's suffering if it doesn't cause positive change. I prefer to rejoice in lessons learned, positive end results, and so on.

Perhaps this is somewhat due to my own experiences in this life where I feel all superior about something and then God has a funny way of humbling me. [Feel free to call it karmic, cosmic justice, whatever based on your own beliefs.]

Example: I've had "squick" issues for ages about my eyes. Break into cold sweats at the thought of something messing with my eye. They're hyper sensitive. The thought of ever needing to wear contacts just gives me shivers. Since I've had a driver's license, I've been an organ donor with everything but my corneas. The thought of having someone touch them, even after death, gave me this "squick" issue. A few years back, I found out I have a corneal disease. If it gets really bad, the nuclear option is a corneal transplant. Don't think that didn't humble me BIG TIME to realize that one day my own vision could be dependent on someone being a corneal donor and getting over their "squick" issues. Squick issues still exist for me, but I'm far more open about the future. [Perhaps because I can now never donate my corneas? That's my wry self-introspection.] I now see the other side of the donor issue. Lesson learned.


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## MillyLittleMonster (Jan 12, 2014)

Revenge is for the weak.
Moving on is for the strong.
Ignoring it is for the intelligent.


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## y2kboris1 (Jan 18, 2014)

I don't think I can add anything else to this discussion anymore than what's already been said. I think it's kinda morally deficient to take joy at someone else's misfortunes no matter how deserved. I have to ask though... why in the hell would someone need to take steroids for a broken leg/arm etc?


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## Tracyarts (Jan 22, 2014)

Over the years, I've come to embrace my dark side just as much as my light side. So my opinion on taking pleasure in another's pain might be a bit different than most.

I've encountered a few people during the course of my life who I can honestly describe as evil. One in particular has done so much harm to others that in my opinion, he is nothing but a waste of the air he breathes and the fact that he's not rotting in a prison cell boggles my mind. I found out that something very painful, brutal, humiliating, and traumatic happened to him. The same things he had done to several of his victims. All heaped back onto him in a gigantic Karmic bitch-slap. 

When I heard about it I laughed until I couldn't stand up. Laughed until I could barely breathe. Laughed until I had tears rolling down my face. 

I feel no guilt, no shame, and no conflict over that. 

Chances are slim to none that while those things were being done to him he thought about how his victims must have felt when he did the same things to them. No lesson learned. Just punishment. An eye for an eye. And I don't care. I'm just glad that he got his. It makes me feel like all is a little bit righter in the world.

Tracy


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## Dromond (Jan 22, 2014)

As a Christian, I am supposed to forgive others. As a human, I find I can't always do that. Schadenfreude is not good for the soul, but it's highly satisfying sometimes. I can see both sides of the issue.

Example: My sister was date raped as a teenager. The rapist went unpunished, but was later hit by a train and left alive, but crippled and severely brain damaged. To this day, his fate gives me a smile. Karma can be a bitch, and I love her for it.


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## CleverBomb (Jan 23, 2014)

y2kboris1 said:


> I don't think I can add anything else to this discussion anymore than what's already been said. I think it's kinda morally deficient to take joy at someone else's misfortunes no matter how deserved. I have to ask though... why in the hell would someone need to take steroids for a broken leg/arm etc?


Control of inflammation, possibly.


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## Dromond (Jan 23, 2014)

CleverBomb said:


> Control of inflammation, possibly.



Corticosteroids are powerful anti-inflammatory drugs. For those who don't know, corticosteroids are not the same as performance enhancing anabolic steroids.


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## y2kboris1 (Jan 23, 2014)

Dromond said:


> Corticosteroids are powerful anti-inflammatory drugs. For those who don't know, corticosteroids are not the same as performance enhancing anabolic steroids.



Thanks Dromond. Wow, I just looked this stuff up online and the number of side effects is incredible and horrific. Idk if I ever have a broken whatever I'm sure as hell not using this stuff.


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## Dromond (Jan 23, 2014)

Steroids are nasty business, for sure.


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## LeoGibson (Jan 23, 2014)

y2kboris1 said:


> Thanks Dromond. Wow, I just looked this stuff up online and the number of side effects is incredible and horrific. Idk if I ever have a broken whatever I'm sure as hell not using this stuff.



Not to derail this thread too far, but time and place and moderation and all that jazz when it comes to these types of steroids. Long term corticosteroids are bad juju and only to be used when the alternative it is treating is even worse, but perfectly safe in the short term for immediate relief of severe inflammation, such as really bad tendinitis or tennis elbow and the like. It banished my tennis elbow in one day after going through 4 months of alternative treatments that did not do squat.


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## Surlysomething (Jan 23, 2014)

I'm with you on this one.



Saoirse said:


> i find it hilarious.
> 
> Someone getting run over by a bus and someone gaining weight is NOT THE SAME.
> 
> Hopefully the formerly-skinny chick gets a taste of what its like to carry extra weight. And if she loses it and gets back down to her skinny weight, she might be a little more respectful of other people.


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