# Forum bullies



## Webmaster

Saw this really good article on forum bullies. Gotta watch out for them critters. If we have any, let me know.


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## KHayes666

Webmaster said:


> Saw this really good article on forum bullies. Gotta watch out for them critters. If we have any, let me know.



Here's a novel idea....BAN THEM.

Seriously, what's the point of having bullies in an ACCEPTANCE community? We all know who they are around here and we see the negative atmosphere they create...so why are they continually allowed to attack people and bring the mood down?

We do have a few, and I know who they are, but for the sake of peace I won't mention them in public...but def in a PM.


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## Mini

I hear that Mini guy is a bit of an asshole.


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## KHayes666

Mini said:


> I hear that Mini guy is a bit of an asshole.



lol there's a difference in being an a-hole and being an out and out bully who's sole purpose is to lay waste to anyone with a different opinion/view/lifestyle/gender.


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## Mini

KHayes666 said:


> lol there's a difference in being an a-hole and being an out and out bully who's sole purpose is to lay waste to anyone with a different opinion/view/lifestyle/gender.



I banish thee from the inner circle, potential usurper.


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## KHayes666

Mini said:


> I banish thee from the inner circle, potential usurper.



Well then go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person! 

lol


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## Matt L.

KHayes666 is so correct. Disagreeing with someone is perfectly normal and can be conducted with class. However, there have been some people who go all out in ridiculing those that have an opposing opinion.


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## Mini

Matt L. said:


> KHayes666 is so correct. Disagreeing with someone is perfectly normal and can be conducted with class. However, there have been some people who go all out in ridiculing those that have an opposing opinion.



Well, the problem with our society is that we're raised with the idea to respect other people's opinions even when they're stupid and or demonstrably incorrect. Civility is overrated, especially when it's fostering ignorance.


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## loggamatt

Mini said:


> Well, the problem with our society is that we're raised with the idea to respect other people's opinions even when they're stupid and or demonstrably incorrect. Civility is overrated, especially when it's fostering ignorance.



So do you mind people being uncivil to you when you're being stupid or demonstrably incorrect? Or are you just never stupid or demonstrably incorrect?


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## Mini

loggamatt said:


> So do you mind people being uncivil to you when you're being stupid or demonstrably incorrect? Or are you just never stupid or demonstrably incorrect?



Basically, if you're going to fuck me, fuck me. Don't bother buying me dinner first.


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## Friday

He's been both and been uhhh, chastised thoroughly for it but not for being male, tall, goodlooking, white, Canadian or whatever political way he happens to lean. It's his statements that are attacked.

It's one thing to attack a post and totally different to attack the poster. I can think of one prime example that is no longer with us who basically called anyone female (especially one older than his preferred dating pool) who didn't agree with his particular brand of fat acceptance jealous hags...when he was being polite, otherwise it was far worse. He was a bully. Now he's gone and probably still blaming it on us hags. Who really cares what people like that think? Honestly, I think in the long run in a community with as many outspoken people as we have a real bully (as opposed to someone who over reacted to something that happens to really push their buttons) isn't going to last. Eventually S/He will get tired of being told their arguments don't hold and flat out being ignored and take their sorry selves elsewhere. 

I don't know that in my years here I've ever seen the community just stand back and watch a member get bullied without getting involved in the victim's defense. We've got a lot of do gooders around here. It's one of the things I like about the place.


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## Mini

Friday said:


> He's been both and been uhhh, chastised thoroughly for it but not for being male, tall, goodlooking, white, Canadian or whatever political way he happens to lean. It's his statements that are attacked.
> 
> It's one thing to attack a post and totally different to attack the poster. I can think of one prime example that is no longer with us who basically called anyone female (especially one older than his preferred dating pool) who didn't agree with his particular brand of fat acceptance jealous hags...when he was being polite, otherwise it was far worse. He was a bully. Now he's gone and probably still blaming it on us hags. Who really cares what people like that think? Honestly, I think in the long run in a community with as many outspoken people as we have a real bully (as opposed to someone who over reacted to something that happens to really push their buttons) isn't going to last. Eventually S/He will get tired of being told their arguments don't hold and flat out being ignored and take their sorry selves elsewhere.
> 
> I don't know that in my years here I've ever seen the community just stand back and watch a member get bullied without getting involved in the victim's defense. We've got a lot of do gooders around here. It's one of the things I like about the place.



Pretty much this. (And I do believe I know who you're talking aboot. Good fuckin' riddance.)

I honestly don't think we have any real problem posters, with a very few exceptions. Idiots tend to get bounced pretty early on, and when they don't they either smarten up or move on.


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## Shosh

Very germaine topic. As for forum bullies, they are not the sort of people that I would associate with in my everyday life. They would not even register on my radar.
They are beneath contempt, and not worth it.


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## butch

Sad but true: one person's asshole is another person's bully. Try and find someone we all can agree is a forum bully and needs to go, and I'll give you a crisp $100 bill.


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## Tooz

Webmaster said:


> Saw this really good article on forum bullies. Gotta watch out for them critters. If we have any, let me know.



I can think of one or two...


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## BarbBBW

we def have this going on here!


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## imfree

Nice article, Chief. I'm sure there are some real
forum bullies in Dimmer darkness who'll never be
found out.


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## Ernest Nagel

Good article, generally speaking. A typo like "dispel" when the author means "expel" a member grates on my nerves but his points are mostly valid. I'd add a couple of my own, just for grins and giggles:


Bullies recognize on some level who they are, even if they deny it uncategorically when called out. They've been the subject of bullying themselves and know exactly the feelings they want to engender in others. Humiliation is job one.


Enablers, otoh, don't necessarily want to see someone embarrassed or hurt as much as they like feeling a resonance with someone powerful and assertive.


A truly accomplished bully relies primarily on scorn and disdain. Mockery and sarcasm are their favored tools. Not only do they emphasize their contempt for the target; a terse, flippant snark indicates the recipient is truly beneath contempt. Addressing the victims argument conveys at least marginal respect.


And of course if the subject of the bullying takes the bully to task for an _ad hominem_ or simply baseless attack the bully must point out that he is entitled to disagree and who are you to demand his silence? Feigned innocence and righteous indignation are the bullies favorite defensive strategies on the rare occasions they're needed.

So yeah, there will always be bullies as long as there are insecure, damaged people who take pleasure from dominating and disempowering others. From my participation on other sites I'd infer that Dims is no more infested than other forums where a higher percentage of participants has been marginalized or bullied more than the mainstream.

There are a very few here I would consider raging bullies who used to really bother me. As I've observed the pathos and loneliness in their posts I've come to feel a genuine compassion for them. When it's all said and done I think most bullies are their own worst victims. The wounds that hurt us the longest are often those we've inflicted on others.

JMO. :bow:


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## Ernest Nagel

Fecking double post!:doh::doh:


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## thatgirl08

Who seriously sits down and writes a four page article about people being assholes on the internet?


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## BarbBBW

Ernest Nagel said:


> Good article, generally speaking. A typo like "dispel" when the author means "expel" a member grates on my nerves but his points are mostly valid. I'd add a couple of my own, just for grins and giggles:
> 
> 
> Bullies recognize on some level who they are, even if they deny it uncategorically when called out. They've been the subject of bullying themselves and know exactly the feelings they want to engender in others. Humiliation is job one.
> 
> 
> Enablers, otoh, don't necessarily want to see someone embarrassed or hurt as much as they like feeling a resonance with someone powerful and assertive.
> 
> 
> A truly accomplished bully relies primarily on scorn and disdain. Mockery and sarcasm are their favored tools. Not only do they emphasize their contempt for the target; a terse, flippant snark indicates the recipient is truly beneath contempt. Addressing the victims argument conveys at least marginal respect.
> 
> 
> And of course if the subject of the bullying takes the bully to task for an _ad hominem_ or simply baseless attack the bully must point out that he is entitled to disagree and who are you to demand his silence? Feigned innocence and righteous indignation are the bullies favorite defensive strategies on the rare occasions they're needed.
> 
> So yeah, there will always be bullies as long as there are insecure, damaged people who take pleasure from dominating and disempowering others. From my participation on other sites I'd infer that Dims is no more infested than other forums where a higher percentage of participants has been marginalized or bullied more than the mainstream.
> 
> There are a very few here I would consider raging bullies who used to really bother me. As I've observed the pathos and loneliness in their posts I've come to feel a genuine compassion for them. When it's all said and done I think most bullies are their own worst victims. The wounds that hurt us the longest are often those we've inflicted on others.
> 
> JMO. :bow:





Ernest Nagel said:


> Fecking double post!:doh::doh:



well your post was soo great, i dont mind the double post!! This is exactly what i have seen!! Great wording and explanations!


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## suebeehoney

Excellent info on forum bullies. I've been (and still am) both mod and member on other forums, and have dealt with my share of them. Personally, I don't have time for that sort of thing. Disagreement and intelligent debate are one thing, but out-and-out meanness and bullying, along with baiting someone just to get an angry response out of them are another. 

We come to these forums for information, entertainment, and social gathering - not to be attacked and bullied.


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## StarWitness

thatgirl08 said:


> Who seriously sits down and writes a four page article about people being assholes on the internet?



People who want to get paid.

I've written some complete tripe for AssCo, all in the name of 1.50 per 1000 hits-- and 2.00 up front, if you're lucky.  It's the literary equivalent of a sweatshop, but they do post damn near everything they receive.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Conrad can you define bullying? I think one persons view of bullying could just be a personality clash whilst anothers view of bullying could be personal harassment.

There are strong personalities on this board, no doubt and I have seen some very mean personal shit, but I have not seen bullying like it is traditionally defined.

Some people will never see eye to eye....and that's ok.


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## Santaclear

What about people who bully with humor? They're the worst.


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## Ernest Nagel

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Conrad can you define bullying? I think one persons view of bullying could just be a personality clash whilst anothers view of bullying could be personal harassment.
> 
> There are strong personalities on this board, no doubt and I have seen some very mean personal shit, but I have not seen bullying like it is traditionally defined.
> 
> Some people will never see eye to eye....and that's ok.



Not intending to speak for Conrad here but it seems to me a post with no other real purpose than to humiliate, intimidate or inflict emotional damage just because you can is pretty easy to recognize as bullying? An abuse of power or status for personal gain or aggrandizement at the expense of another works well too, imo. If you've never seen it here you're either very gracious or totally oblivious. Let's go with gracious. What we're discussing goes way beyond personality conflicts and brushes none so gently against the definition of personality disorder. As always, JMO.


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## kayrae

I absolutely love how the writer chose a female as the forum bully.


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## KHayes666

kayrae said:


> I absolutely love how the writer chose a female as the forum bully.



Look around, are you surprised?


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## Santaclear

In a way, even the lurkers are bullies.


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## tonynyc

Ernest Nagel said:


> Not intending to speak for Conrad here but it seems to me a post with no other real purpose than to humiliate, intimidate or inflict emotional damage just because you can is pretty easy to recognize as bullying? An abuse of power or status for personal gain or aggrandizement at the expense of another works well too, imo. If you've never seen it here you're either very gracious or totally oblivious. Let's go with gracious. What we're discussing goes way beyond personality conflicts and brushes none so gently against the definition of personality disorder. As always, JMO.



*Or gain Rep points - sometimes the snarkiest remarks can yield one plenty of "bonus" points... * 




Mini said:


> Well, the problem with our society is that we're raised with the idea to respect other people's opinions even when they're stupid and or demonstrably incorrect. Civility is overrated, especially when it's fostering ignorance.




*So true along with "Civility" and the "Internet"* :bow:



thatgirl08 said:


> Who seriously sits down and writes a four page article about people being assholes on the internet?



*
You'd be surprized - heck you could be missing out on your next $500,000 University Research Grant and future book deal. 
* 



Ernest Nagel said:


> Good article, generally speaking. A typo like "dispel" when the author means "expel" a member grates on my nerves but his points are mostly valid. I'd add a couple of my own, just for grins and giggles:
> 
> 
> Bullies recognize on some level who they are, even if they deny it uncategorically when called out. They've been the subject of bullying themselves and know exactly the feelings they want to engender in others. Humiliation is job one.
> 
> 
> Enablers, otoh, don't necessarily want to see someone embarrassed or hurt as much as they like feeling a resonance with someone powerful and assertive.
> 
> 
> A truly accomplished bully relies primarily on scorn and disdain. Mockery and sarcasm are their favored tools. Not only do they emphasize their contempt for the target; a terse, flippant snark indicates the recipient is truly beneath contempt. Addressing the victims argument conveys at least marginal respect.
> 
> 
> And of course if the subject of the bullying takes the bully to task for an _ad hominem_ or simply baseless attack the bully must point out that he is entitled to disagree and who are you to demand his silence? Feigned innocence and righteous indignation are the bullies favorite defensive strategies on the rare occasions they're needed.
> 
> So yeah, there will always be bullies as long as there are insecure, damaged people who take pleasure from dominating and disempowering others. From my participation on other sites I'd infer that Dims is no more infested than other forums where a higher percentage of participants has been marginalized or bullied more than the mainstream.
> 
> There are a very few here I would consider raging bullies who used to really bother me. As I've observed the pathos and loneliness in their posts I've come to feel a genuine compassion for them. When it's all said and done I think most bullies are their own worst victims. The wounds that hurt us the longest are often those we've inflicted on others.
> 
> JMO. :bow:



*Great post Ernest*



Mini said:


> I honestly don't think we have any real problem posters, with a very few exceptions. Idiots tend to get bounced pretty early on, and when they don't they either smarten up or move on.



*

True, we might have short term Idiots that get bounced early;but, we also have Long term Assholes (both genders) for the extended stay... 

*




BigBellySSBBW said:


> Conrad can you define bullying? I think one persons view of bullying could just be a personality clash whilst anothers view of bullying could be personal harassment.
> 
> There are strong personalities on this board, no doubt and I have seen some very mean personal shit, but I have not seen bullying like it is traditionally defined.
> 
> Some people will never see eye to eye....and that's ok.



*
Sometimes it can be more than just a personality clash. You literally can have a pile on with someone that there is disagreement with... 

And we've seen more than enough threads that had to get shut down...

People will respond differently to verbal conflict. Some might respond to the offender and say "Fuck Off" (they will not let this bother them ).... 
others might internalize things. 

Of course the worse scenario is the "bully" that is a popular member of the community... 
*


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## KHayes666

The question remains, there ARE bullies here, so what do we do about it?


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## Santaclear

KHayes666 said:


> The question remains, there ARE bullies here, so what do we do about it?



What do you intend to do about it, Kevin?


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## Santaclear

Realizing that we're all bullies, each of us in our own small way, has been kind of empowering.


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## KHayes666

Santaclear said:


> What are you going to do about it, Kevin?



Well, a wise man once said "There are other alternatives to fighting" so Ill come up with something


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## Friday

KHayes666 said:


> Look around, are you surprised?



That was beneath you Kevin.


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## Oirish

thatgirl08 said:


> Who seriously sits down and writes a four page article about people being assholes on the internet?



Pretty much sums up my opinion.


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## imfree

KHayes666 said:


> The question remains, there ARE bullies here, so what do we do about it?



You deal with bullies the Dimmer way. Ignore them. If
you ignite a firestorm in a thread, get the hell out.
Don't give a bully anything that can be twisted or bent,
then thrown back at you. In real life, those who have 
learned to walk away from a potential fight have often 
learned to do so at great expense. My lessons cost me 
everything. Conflicts on the interwebz can be walked
away from with great ease. Peace is OK.:bow:


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## Ernest Nagel

Santaclear said:


> In a way, even the lurkers are bullies.



I presume you're referencing some aspect of this sentiment, good sir?

"Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn." ~ George Bernard Shaw

If so, understood and agreed. :bow:


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## mossystate

Friday said:


> That was beneath you Kevin.



Hmmmmmm.
----
Bullying can take the form of " woe is me...I am a victim ", so I can say whatever I want. Strong disagreement will always make some scream...bully. Not taking crap from people will have people scream...bully. Dishing out all kinds of jabs, and being met with someone standing up to ' you ', will have that ' you ' screaming...bully.

I cannot...honestly...think of any person on here who has not dished out what another would call...bullying. Even what seems like something ' positive ', if one is smart enough to understand the underbelly of it, can be bullying and condemning.

I have to wonder if Will just got a little a his own medicine...and got pissed off.


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## KHayes666

imfree said:


> You deal with bullies the Dimmer way. Ignore them. If
> you ignite a firestorm in a thread, get the hell out.
> Don't give a bully anything that can be twisted or bent,
> then thrown back at you. In real life, those who have
> learned to walk away from a potential fight have often
> learned to do so at great expense. My lessons cost me
> everything. Conflicts on the interwebz can be walked
> away from with great ease. Peace is OK.:bow:



Yes but ignoring the bully doesn't STOP the bully. That just gives the person carte blanche to shout at anyone and anything because no one will step up and do something about it.

Like I said, there's alternatives to jumping into a firestorm and I'm going to do what I have in mind.


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## Edens_heel

Susannah said:


> Very germaine topic. As for forum bullies, they are not the sort of people that I would associate with in my everyday life. They would not even register on my radar.
> They are beneath contempt, and not worth it.



Very much agreed - I left Dims some time ago, but remained as a moderate lurker, and what brought me back in to the fold was seeing someone ask an intelligent, well thought out question, and having a tidal wave of attacks falling on top of them as a result. I felt a strong need to jump in and defend. Because of that, I've come to realize that there are more bullies than not in online forums (Dims included in that), and I generally expect the worst until someone proves otherwise. I think that's why this is the last forum I can stand to post in, and even now my tastes in Dims culture is waning heavily due to some strikingly beligerent examples that I've seen in recent months (even with Hyde Park gone the way of the dodo).

... Just writing about this reminds me why I am so glad that Hyde Park is gone. No matter the thread there, it always seemed to bring out the inner lunch-money-swiping jackass in all of us. 

But I truly believe that some people beyond simple forum trolls really just get off on inciting others. It's got nothing to do with brandishing an opinion, or striking up a genuine discourse - it's about making someone angry or irritable for the sake of it. We saw loads of that around election time, and I admit that it coloured how I see a lot of posters. We don't by and large exact a level of mature emotional control when we can just exist as an online name and voice. Forums give freedom for the inner prick/bitch/asshole/zealot/biggoted/racist/sexist/fetishistic/insubordinate/egotistical fool that every single human being has lurking somewhere inside. We're all susceptable to it to varying degrees, though some seem to thrive or define themselves on it. It's the 21st century crank call - fuck with someone and cut and run before they can actually figure out who in the hell you are and why they should care.


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## Santaclear

Ernest Nagel said:


> I presume you're referencing some aspect of this sentiment, good sir?
> 
> "Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn." ~ George Bernard Shaw
> 
> If so, understood and agreed. :bow:



Exactly. They bully us with their silence.


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## mossystate

Santaclear said:


> Exactly. They bully us with their silence.



Please get to writing a FIVE page article on the scamps. Thanks. Don't let them get away with it, Santa. They will read it, they just won't comment.


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## Santaclear

mossystate said:


> Please get to writing a FIVE page article on the scamps. Thanks. Don't let them get away with it, Santa. They will read it, they just won't comment.



There are so many of them too. Their silence is hurtful. But I'll get them.


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## Ernest Nagel

"The Thomas Paine quote "He who dares not offend cannot be honest." while true, doesn't automatically imply that honesty is necessarily offensive nor that anything offensive is arbitrarily honest. Just sayin'. :bow:

I'm clear I have offended many people in my life. I won't pretend it was always unintentional but I will assert it has seldom been my sole or primary purpose. I don't think a bully can honestly say that but I don't pretend to know what's in another person's mind. Bullies often seem convinced they can know precisely that.


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## mossystate

Ernest, don't sell yourself and your abilities....so short.  This thread is gonna be full of...." blahblahblah..that's not ME! ". 

Wheeeeeeee.


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## Tina

Santaclear said:


> Exactly. They bully us with their silence.



Saul Rosenberg, is that you???


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## NancyGirl74

Alright! Fine! I'll stop!

I'm not really a bully so much as I am a smartass.


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## tonynyc

KHayes666 said:


> Well, a wise man once said "There are other alternatives to fighting" so Ill come up with something



*Short of cursing the asshole out and saying to them that you don't "GAF what they think" is a good way to clear the soul. You get the anger out, nothing is bottled up and you feel better. 

It's not like you are going to have an afternoon tea with this person in the near future 
*

*Too Bad "Paladin" can't be contracted for a few Internet Writing Assignments*


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## mossystate

NancyGirl74 said:


> Alright! Fine! I'll stop!




* makes fun of your anchor *


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## exile in thighville

hey blickenstorfer if you've got something to say


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## HereticFA

Interesting article at the link, although I believe I read something very similar (and shorter) years ago on a USESNET group.

The article seems to talk around the issue of groupthink and how the bully seems to play the role of enforcer of that groupthink against the perceived interloper.


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## exile in thighville

Credibility Alert

from the article entitled "How to Pick Up Women in Chat Rooms"



> Right, so, you don't want to spend half an hour trying to woo Big Bertha who spends her spare time kicking puppies.



_amirite_


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## KHayes666

tonynyc said:


> *Short of cursing the asshole out and saying to them that you don't "GAF what they think" is a good way to clear the soul. You get the anger out, nothing is bottled up and you feel better.
> 
> It's not like you are going to have an afternoon tea with this person in the near future
> *
> 
> *Too Bad "Paladin" can't be contracted for a few Internet Writing Assignments*



I was thinking more of Chuck Connors lol


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## tonynyc

KHayes666 said:


> I was thinking more of Chuck Connors lol



*Kevin: If you can't "wire" Chuck- there's always Robert Conrad *


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## TraciJo67

I'm pretty sure that I can cleanly slice through the passive-aggressive surliness in this thread with a rusty butter knife.


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## cinnamitch

TraciJo67 said:


> I'm pretty sure that I can cleanly slice through the passive-aggressive surliness in this thread with a rusty butter knife.



_passes TraciJo some bread, mustard and ham.Might as well make a sandwich._


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## Shosh

The usual suspects. It is like clockwork, you could set your watch to it.


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## tonynyc

Susannah said:


> The usual suspects. It is like clockwork, you could set your watch to it.



*So true Shosh, I agree, like a Pooch or Pooches taking a "whiz"...
*


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## mossystate

Aaaaaaaaaand.....scene.


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## fatgirlflyin

Susannah said:


> The usual suspects. It is like clockwork, you could set your watch to it.



That was necessary? 

Bullies come in all forms, and they aren't always the "usual suspects". Sometimes they're the ones that come in a thread and play victim, sometimes they're the ones that come in a thread and try to start shit for no other reason than to start shit...


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## thatgirl08

seriously guys GET OFF YOUR COMPUTER


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## Paquito

Santaclear said:


> What about people who bully with humor? They're the worst.



Or the ones who think that putting a smiley face at the end of their remark makes it all better. 


:wubu::blush::happy::smitten::eat2:


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## Santaclear

Sadly, we're all victims in this. No one is immune.


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## Paquito

Then that makes us all bullies, which means that we should all be banned...


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## petunia805

Susannah said:


> The usual suspects. It is like clockwork, you could set your watch to it.


 
Right?? I was thinking that same thing.


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## Santaclear

tonynyc said:


> *So true Shosh, I agree, like a Pooch or Pooches taking a "whiz"...
> *



That was very hurtful, Tony.


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## tonynyc

Santaclear said:


> That was very hurtful, Tony.



*Why is that "hurtful" -I just tend to be blunt at times. You are one of the nicer folks here in Dims and surely you don't think that this refers to you. Cause it doesn't *


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## fatgirlflyin

tonynyc said:


> *Why is that "hurtful" -I just tend to be blunt at times. You are one of the nicer folks here in Dims and surely you don't think that this refers to you. *




No, being blunt would have been calling people by name and calling them a bitch. Posting a gif of a dog taking a piss and comparing people to pooches taking a piss is being passive agressive.


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## TraciJo67

cinnamitch said:


> _passes TraciJo some bread, mustard and ham.Might as well make a sandwich._



Is it a canned ham sammy? Coz that's da shizzzzzz.


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## tonynyc

fatgirlflyin said:


> No, being blunt would have been calling people by name and calling them a bitch. Posting a gif of a dog taking a piss and comparing people to pooches taking a piss is being passive agressive.



If a situations calls for me to be blunt- I have no problems with that. I'm more than happy to respond in a respectful manner - and if need be more than happy to use more stronger terms.

Now as far as expletives...I never cared for any of the "b- words" not enough punch. And depending on some nasty folks in the past that I've dealt with... I've compared them to worse.


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## fatgirlflyin

tonynyc said:


> If a situations calls for me to be blunt- I have no problems with that. I'm more than happy to respond in a respectful manner - and if need be more than happy to use more stronger terms.
> 
> Now as far as expletives...I never cared for any of the "b- words" not enough punch. And depending on some nasty folks in the past that I've dealt with... I've compared them to worse.



Dude, you posted a picture of a dog and compared them to dogs. Just because you didn't use the word bitch doesn't mean you weren't saying it...

What's really screwed up is if they post in here defending themselves there are gonna be a few of you yelling "seeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I told you!"


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## Shosh

petunia805 said:


> Right?? I was thinking that same thing.



Indeed. It is mundane it it's predictability.


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## Blackjack

fatgirlflyin said:


> Dude, you posted a picture of a dog and compared them to dogs. Just because you didn't use the word bitch doesn't mean you weren't saying it...



And of course the term "lipstick on a pig" is always a reference to Palin. *ALWAYS*.



ETA: Also, female dogs don't lift their legs to piss like the one in the .gif does, so... your stretch doesn't even work that way.


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## tonynyc

fatgirlflyin said:


> What's really screwed up is if they post in here defending themselves there are gonna be a few of you yelling "seeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I told you!"



* Well life isn't fair, I wish I was a world class chef.
And... Since inquiring minds would like to know- whom do you think I'm referring to ?....*


----------



## thatgirl08

lol this is getting hilarious. Some people are so sensitive. This is the internet.. get off your fucking computer. I mean come on.


----------



## BarbBBW

hmmm i wonder if this is what the "webmaster" had planned?
I am glad I posted early in this thread and said very little, cause its getting pretty bad in here. :doh:
Hey Thatgirl,.. i just got on the pc hehehe i was out swimming! it wasnt bad when I check the thread earlier!


----------



## The Orange Mage

KHayes666 said:


> The question remains, there ARE bullies here, so what do we do about it?



Easy. There's an ignore function in the User Control Panel. A couple days ago I finally got around to ignoring a handful of posters who will go unnamed and the forum is much nicer to read as a result.


----------



## wrestlingguy

I dunno...............I don't want to tell the man who owns the house that he's in the wrong room, but isn't the Main Dimensions Board supposed to be about size/size acceptance issues?

Would I be bullying anyone to request that this thread be moved to The Lounge, or anywhere but here?


----------



## mossystate

wrestlingguy said:


> I dunno...............I don't want to tell the man who owns the house that he's in the wrong room, but isn't the Main Dimensions Board supposed to be about size/size acceptance issues?
> 
> Would I be bullying anyone to request that this thread be moved to The Lounge, or anywhere but here?



Of course it is bullying...you are disagreeing with someone on Dimensions.



Helllooooooooooo Lounge.


----------



## exile in thighville

i have the entire forum set on ignore


----------



## The Fez

You lasted 2 whole pages before it began. Kudos I guess.


----------



## KHayes666

The Fez said:


> You lasted 2 whole pages before it began. Kudos I guess.



I can't go 2 whole minutes without singing Love Kills by Freddie Mercury today for some reason


----------



## thatgirl08

BarbBBW said:


> Hey Thatgirl,.. i just got on the pc hehehe i was out swimming! it wasnt bad when I check the thread earlier!



Dude I'm so jealous.. I've only gone swimming once so far this summer.. the weather has been seriously sucking around here.


----------



## mrfantasy90

I heard that its been rainy and cool in Rochester this summer.


----------



## cinnamitch

TraciJo67 said:


> Is it a canned ham sammy? Coz that's da shizzzzzz.



Watch it Missy or its Lutefisk for you.


----------



## thatgirl08

mrfantasy90 said:


> I heard that its been rainy and cool in Rochester this summer.



Yep. Also, we got hit with a tornado yesterday like what the hell.


----------



## Fascinita

What about the Forum Hitmen? No one's noticed that this is a problem, too?


----------



## mrfantasy90

thatgirl08 said:


> Yep. Also, we got hit with a tornado yesterday like what the hell.



A TORNADO??? In Rochester???!!!!! WHERE???!!!! Ontario?


----------



## Dr. Feelgood

mrfantasy90 said:


> A TORNADO??? In Rochester???!!!!! WHERE???!!!! Ontario?



So THAT'S where our tornado went! You can keep it, though. Since it's used and all...


----------



## fatgirlflyin

thatgirl08 said:


> lol this is getting hilarious. Some people are so sensitive. This is the internet.. get off your fucking computer. I mean come on.



You do see the humor in you posting in this thread, chastising other people for posting in this thread right?


----------



## Santaclear

This has definitely been the most heartbreaking thread of the week.


----------



## Mini

Santaclear said:


> This has definitely been the most heartbreaking thread of the week.



Not true. What about Russel's tearjerker? Surely his inability to be a four-time widower ranks somewhat higher than this one.


----------



## superodalisque

Susannah said:


> Indeed. It is mundane it it's predictability.



yes exactly. it really has gotten boring and tiresome. and people who have something interesting and inciteful to say won't talk anymore except in PMs to people who they know will talk to them and don't sit around wearing judges robes they aren't qualified to put on. 

you know, i can understand people having a different opinion from me. i actually like it. and, i love a good scrap. but what i don't care for is when people make personal attacks and name call people who are different from them. especially people they don't actually know. the intolerance is really small minded. i know everyone has slip ups at times including me. but there are people in the forums who are ALWAYS looking for someone to sharpen their tongue on. its sad when there is hardly one thread where you can't get along with people well enough to at least discuss the subject and leave people who differ from you the room to do the same. its human everyone is going to do it at some time or another. but you can be just as scrappy without being abusive and making seriously detrimental allegations about things you have no way of knowing the truth about. but there are really some people who don't recognize the difference unless its applied to them. they can say anything they like about anyone in any form they see fit but when you call them on it they accuse you of getting personal with them. there is a lot of pot calling the kettle around. most of them can dish it out but they definitely can't take it.

the biggest shame is its often someone who really has something to add to the conversation but they don't have the social skills to know how. there are things they could say that could really make people think and maybe even make some positive changes. but thier shrill and abusive behavior only makes people feel justified in thier positions and sometimes more firmly entrenched than ever. and all of the personal attacks also derail anything constructive anyone else would like to say or ask because the atmosphere of cooperation and common ground gets ruined. no matter what our own personal peccadillos are we still have a big thing in common here and it would be nice if sometimes people realized that instead of always trying to be against someone rather than for everyone even when you disagree. on my most uncharitable days i often end up feeling as though there are people here who don't even deserve the acceptance they are asking for since its the height of hypocracy to ask for something your unwilling to give yourself.


----------



## Santaclear

Mini said:


> Not true. What about Russel's tearjerker? Surely his inability to be a four-time widower ranks somewhat higher than this one.



Well, Russell started his thread on Thursday so I was counting it as last week's. It definitely was a hanky-wringer tho.


----------



## tonynyc

Santaclear said:


> Well, Russell started his thread on Thursday so I was counting it as last week's. It definitely was a hanky-wringer tho.



Also a "Nail Biter" in the tradition of "Novellas" and "Old time Serials". Everyone is wondering what is going to happen next? I've never seen so much raw emotions pour out from all sides in one thread.


----------



## superodalisque

BarbBBW said:


> hmmm i wonder if this is what the "webmaster" had planned?
> I am glad I posted early in this thread and said very little, cause its getting pretty bad in here. :doh:
> !



you thought it wouldn't? !!!!


----------



## mossystate

Oh..come on , Felicia. *L* I wasn't even going to say anything, but, this drum you beat is as old as the things you say you don't like. I think everyone out here has to have certain conversations in PM. There are many conversations that don't happen, but you are more angry at people who simply do not express themselves the way you would express yourself. You have some pretty spiffy looking robes, yourself. This stuff is going round in circles. It is the same circle. You will have to shuck your own robes, if you truly....truly.....want more than what you think is just a pile of shit. There is so much good that comes from those you deem...bullies. You really want the crap to stop? Really think about what that might mean for you...and what you would have to give up. I know you like doing ....this. * insert winking smiley *


This is nuts. * insert winking smiley *

* goes for a popsicle *


----------



## Mini

See, here's why these threads *always* amuse me. Everyone beats around the bush and basically says the forum would be better if we all acted like we were in first grade, but you never name names and just come right out and say who the fuck you want to get the boot.

Am I a bully? I have no clue. I don't try to be one, and I don't believe there's *anyone* here who has stuck up for me unconditionally. I get called when I step out of line, and most of the rest of y'all have me on ignore, so I don't see why it's such a big deal. 

So who is it, then? Traci? Mossy? Dan? Santa? The fuck knows? We're adults here. If you can't handle the adult language and the occasional flared temper, you don't belong on the Internet anyway.


----------



## LillyBBBW

I was called a bully once or twice on this forum. Both times it came from somebody I got mad at. I pointed directly at what pissed me off and got called a bully and was even accused of trying to silence people and squelch opposing views, like *I'm* not supposed to have any.  I'm no bully, I just happen to be pretty good at expressing myself. There are many times that I do keep quiet though. I get tired of arguing over the same things all the time, it gets old and wearing. 

And since were on the subject of what pisses us off anyway, what gets my goat are people who always expect someone else to draw their swords to defend their own fragile sense of right and wrong. When a poster comes here and posts some offensive bla bla bla, if one of "the usual subjects" doesn't jump right on it and give the offensive poster a good talking to they come from out of nowhere to post some angry diatribe that consists of, "I can't believe none of you have told ________ what an awful butt wart s/he is!! Does this mean this is accepted here?!?!  And all along I thought this was a respectable forum!!! Does this mean I have to _LEAVE_!?!?!!!!" and the poster has only posted 12 times in 4 years. Drives me batshit crazy. I think people like that should be banned IMMEDIATELY.  NO! We should send hired goons to their house to kick the door in and slap them silly. Everything is their fault. That's just my opinion, so don't attack me please thnkyu.


----------



## Santaclear

tonynyc said:


> Also a "Nail Biter" in the tradition of "Novellas" and "Old time Serials". Everyone is wondering what is going to happen next? I've never seen so much raw emotions pour out from all sides in one thread.



There is a major motion picture in the works, _Thread Bully,_ starring Russell Crowe, Roseanne Barr, John Goodman, Meryl Streep and Harry Dean Stanton as "Gramps."


----------



## LoveBHMS

tonynyc said:


> Also a "Nail Biter" in the tradition of "Novellas" and "Old time Serials". Everyone is wondering what is going to happen next? I've never seen so much raw emotions pour out from all sides in one thread.



I'm guessing a post about how he chastised the Parks Department for not providing armless chairs to the guests at his committment ceremony.


----------



## succubus_dxb

I thought the title was "Forum Bellies"....sigh...


----------



## Santaclear

succubus_dxb said:


> I thought the title was "Forum Bellies"....sigh...



Forum Hillbillies


----------



## superodalisque

mossystate said:


> Oh..come on , Felicia. *L* I wasn't even going to say anything, but, this drum you beat is as old as the things you say you don't like. I think everyone out here has to have certain conversations in PM. There are many conversations that don't happen, but you are more angry at people who simply do not express themselves the way you would express yourself. You have some pretty spiffy looking robes, yourself. This stuff is going round in circles. It is the same circle. You will have to shuck your own robes, if you truly....truly.....want more than what you think is just a pile of shit. There is so much good that comes from those you deem...bullies. You really want the crap to stop? Really think about what that might mean for you...and what you would have to give up. I know you like doing ....this. * insert winking smiley *
> 
> 
> This is nuts. * insert winking smiley *
> 
> * goes for a popsicle *



i'll keep it short and sweet then--so?

as far as i know i can disagree with how people express themselves. people are free to disagree with how i express myself too and they often do. i don't have to agree with the totally dehumanizing and overly personal way they talk to and about other human beings... it wouldn't bother me quite as much if there wasn't so much crying when other people returned the favor in whatever way they choose. this thread isn't an accident. its here for a reason.


----------



## furious styles

this thread makes me think of a bunch of pro wrestlers in a pillow fight.


----------



## tonynyc

Mini said:


> So who is it, then? Traci? Mossy? Dan? Santa? The fuck knows? We're adults here. If you can't the adult language and the occasional flared temper, you don't belong on the Internet anyway.



*
I could never picture a Bully named "Santa" that's Sacreligious 
*


----------



## Mini

tonynyc said:


> *
> I could never picture a Bully named "Santa" that's Sacreligious
> *



Your imagination is obviously not vivid enough. I recommend practicing with pornography until you can jerk off with no hands.

Once you've achieved that level it'll be easy to picture Santa dropping in through chimneys and drop-kicking orphans into pointy ornaments.


----------



## KHayes666

tonynyc said:


> *
> I could never picture a Bully named "Santa" that's Sacreligious
> *



um......


----------



## mossystate

superodalisque said:


> i'll keep it short and sweet then--so?
> 
> as far as i know i can disagree with how people express themselves. people are free to disagree with how i express myself too and they often do. i don't have to agree with the totally dehumanizing and overly personal way they talk to and about other human beings... it wouldn't bother me quite as much if there wasn't so much crying when other people returned the favor in whatever way they choose. this thread isn't an accident. its here for a reason.



Oh lord. There is a slicker way of dehumanizing people. Either way...the slick...or the sarcastic way.....same thing. That's what I am saying here. Some people don't quiiiite know they have been slammed, when the slick go at them. They just might feel a lil...uncomfy...but they are not sure...why.

A sneer is a sneer, no matter how much sugar is clinging on the edges of the lips. I am saying this to anybody who whines about those of us who cut through some of the cane. Could both ' types ' cool it at times...sure...I know I can ( and that only applies to people who are TRULY hapless, not those who cry bully, simply because they don't like to be disagreed with, sometimes in the same tone they first put out for the world to see ). The people I ' go after ' out here who are not out swinging themselves?...there are few...very few.

The more colorful language will of course be noticed by more people. Does not mean the message is any meaner than when it comes from the sloppers. 

* feels like I am in a Twilight Zone episode *


----------



## superodalisque

mossystate said:


> Oh lord. There is a slicker way of dehumanizing people. Either way...the slick...or the sarcastic way.....same thing. That's what I am saying here. Some people don't quiiiite know they have been slammed, when the slick go at them. They just might feel a lil...uncomfy...but they are not sure...why.
> 
> A sneer is a sneer, no matter how much sugar is clinging on the edges of the lips. I am saying this to anybody who whines about those of us who cut through some of the cane. Could both ' types ' cool it at times...sure...I know I can ( and that only applies to people who are TRULY hapless, not those who cry bully, simply because they don't like to be disagreed with, sometimes in the same tone they first put out for the world to see ). The people I ' go after ' out here who are not out swinging themselves?...there are few...very few.
> 
> The more colorful language will of course be noticed by more people. Does not mean the message is any meaner than when it comes from the sloppers.
> 
> * feels like I am in a Twilight Zone episode *



you know, the more i read that article the more i really do believe its talking about you. i'm not the one with nearly 10,000 posts even though i have been here about as long as you have. i think the only reason you have such a problem with me is because i'm not afraid of you and you can't make me shut up and go away. otherwise we tend to agree on a lot of things. we probably even agree on the self confidence issue. but i notice that you seem to like reading things into my posts that i have never said and trying to recharacterize them. i'm going to stop posting here now because once again you jumped in being personal when we were just discussing bullies in general. you can have this thread all to yourself now--have fun. this one note thing is just tiresome and boring.


----------



## cinnamitch

LillyBBBW said:


> I was called a bully once or twice on this forum. Both times it came from somebody I got mad at. I pointed directly at what pissed me off and got called a bully and was even accused of trying to silence people and squelch opposing views, like *I'm* not supposed to have any.  I'm no bully, I just happen to be pretty good at expressing myself. There are many times that I do keep quiet though. I get tired of arguing over the same things all the time, it gets old and wearing.
> 
> And since were on the subject of what pisses us off anyway, what gets my goat are people who always expect someone else to draw their swords to defend their own fragile sense of right and wrong. When a poster comes here and posts some offensive bla bla bla, if one of "the usual subjects" doesn't jump right on it and give the offensive poster a good talking to they come from out of nowhere to post some angry diatribe that consists of, "I can't believe none of you have told ________ what an awful butt wart s/he is!! Does this mean this is accepted here?!?!  And all along I thought this was a respectable forum!!! Does this mean I have to _LEAVE_!?!?!!!!" and the poster has only posted 12 times in 4 years. Drives me batshit crazy. I think people like that should be banned IMMEDIATELY.  NO! We should send hired goons to their house to kick the door in and slap them silly. Everything is their fault. That's just my opinion, so don't attack me please thnkyu.



You just HAD to say piss that many times didn't you? Now i have to go to the bathroom.


----------



## tonynyc

Mini said:


> Your imagination is obviously not vivid enough. I recommend practicing with pornography until you can jerk off with no hands.
> 
> Once you've achieved that level it'll be easy to picture Santa dropping in through chimneys and drop-kicking orphans into pointy ornaments.



* that's one image i don't need *


----------



## KHayes666

cinnamitch said:


> You just HAD to say piss that many times didn't you? Now i have to go to the bathroom.








"PISS OUT MY ASSSSSSSS"


like that?


----------



## mossystate

superodalisque said:


> you know, the more i read that article the more i really do believe its talking about you. i'm not the one with nearly 10,000 posts even though i have been here about as long as you have. i think the only reason you have such a problem with me is because i'm not afraid of you and you can't make me shut up and go away. otherwise we tend to agree on a lot of things. we probably even agree on the self confidence issue. but i notice that you seem to like reading things into my posts that i have never said and trying to recharacterize them. i'm going to stop posting here now because once again you jumped in being personal when we were just discussing bullies in general. you can have this thread all to yourself now--have fun.



Make you shut up? Felicia, now you have just gone and acted all odd and stuff. You are doing what those with the real ' victim mentality ' do, and I really...and I am serious...thought you were less manipulative in that way.

The " you can have this thread all to yourself "...is really beneath you, or so I thought. I don't like some of what you say out here, but I never figured you for one who wanted to have her say...and then take her ball home. What was it that you said...something about having your say? I was having mine.

Crazy stuff tonight. The heat?

The post count...now you are reading into ...my....post....count. Ummmmm. I will share my popsicles with you.


----------



## tonynyc

KHayes666 said:


> um......



*Didn't know that Goldberg converted *


----------



## TraciJo67

Mini said:


> See, here's why these threads *always* amuse me. Everyone beats around the bush and basically says the forum would be better if we all acted like we were in first grade, but you never name names and just come right out and say who the fuck you want to get the boot.
> 
> Am I a bully? I have no clue. I don't try to be one, and I don't believe there's *anyone* here who has stuck up for me unconditionally. I get called when I step out of line, and most of the rest of y'all have me on ignore, so I don't see why it's such a big deal.
> 
> So who is it, then? Traci? Mossy? Dan? Santa? The fuck knows? We're adults here. If you can't handle the adult language and the occasional flared temper, you don't belong on the Internet anyway.




Thank you, Mini, for cutting through the bullshit. I'd really prefer that we not tiptoe around the issue as well. This is ridiculous. What is the purpose of this thread? What were you hoping to accomplish, Conrad? Why can't people just say exactly what they mean? And if people allow themselves to feel intimidated on a message board, what does that say about them? I read the article. What jumped out at me was how completely ridiculous the whole concept is -- how the behaviors of the "bullies" and their "enablers" (including those who are apparently too meek to voice any kind of objection) mirrors the social construct of a Junior High School clique with the popular kids on one side and the geeks/nerds on the other. Have we really not evolved beyond that? 

I know that I've unthinkingly hurt a few people, and I've made my apologies to those people. And no, Susannah, you aren't one of them. I think that you made your own bed here. Your behavior towards others hasn't been above reproach. You have a habit of rushing in, taking an extremely nasty swipe, and then backing out while wrapping yourself in a cloak of victimhood which basically dares anyone to call you on what you've just said or done. That doesn't fly with me. 

And yes I know that I haven't tiptoed around the edges here, and I've named some names. I can't see how that is any different than what Tony, Kevin and Susannah have done -- they've simply chosen a less direct route, while managing to convey points with no real subtlety whatsoever. Everyone knows who they are referring to, and what they're really saying. In my mind, the very existence of this thread begs for us ***all*** to just dispense with the bullshit. If anyone is really this angry, or really this intimidated, maybe we actually *need* to take off the white gloves.


----------



## KHayes666

tonynyc said:


> *Didn't know that Goldberg converted *



you didn't know?


----------



## rainyday

Webmaster said:


> Saw this really good article on forum bullies. Gotta watch out for them critters. If we have any, let me know.



yup, i bit as well


----------



## tonynyc

TraciJo67 said:


> Tony and Susannah have done -- they've simply chosen a less direct route, while managing to convey points with no real subtlety whatsoever. Everyone knows who they are referring to, and what they're really saying. In my mind, the very existence of this thread begs for us ***all*** to just dispense with the bullshit. If anyone is really this angry, or really this intimidated, maybe we actually *need* to take off the white gloves.



*Whether you found my point subtle or not - I could care less *


----------



## cinnamitch

KHayes666 said:


> "PISS OUT MY ASSSSSSSS"
> 
> like that?



Aww you went to the Bio school of forum posting..How cute.(I like his cartoons better though), Never cared for South Park. Damn that Kenny!


----------



## Santaclear

Fascinita said:


> What about the Forum Hitmen? No one's noticed that this is a problem, too?



I dunno. These guys don't look that scary. 

View attachment 11982922874a130106d24c5.jpg


----------



## KHayes666

Santaclear said:


> I dunno. These guys don't look that scary.



You want scary dudes....check this out






These badasses scare the shyt out of me


----------



## cinnamitch

Santaclear said:


> I dunno. These guys don't look that scary.



I dunno about you but a couple of those shirt patterns skeered me.


----------



## thatgirl08

mrfantasy90 said:


> A TORNADO??? In Rochester???!!!!! WHERE???!!!! Ontario?



yessir, a tornado in Rochester. Not Ontario county though.. Monroe mostly. Just nearly missed me over here in Brockport/Sweden/Hamlin area. 



fatgirlflyin said:


> You do see the humor in you posting in this thread, chastising other people for posting in this thread right?



Who's laughing? I'm not chastising you for posting in this thread.. it's the fact that like 18 people in a row posted OMG I KNOW SO MANY BULLIES THIS IS TERRIBLE WHAT DO WE DO I'M SO SAD. Like, are you people seriously letting internetdrama affect your life that much? If you are, get off the fucking computer and find some friends, honestly. I'm looking at you FGF.



Mini said:


> So who is it, then? Traci? Mossy? Dan? Santa? The fuck knows? We're adults here. If you can't handle the adult language and the occasional flared temper, you don't belong on the Internet anyway.



Dude, word.

Just for the sake of being less vague I'll say this.. Mossy, Traci, Dan and Mini are all huge douches but this forum would be so fucking boring without them. I'll add um, LoveBHMs to this list too. love that girl.


----------



## Santaclear

furious styles said:


> this thread makes me think of a bunch of pro wrestlers in a pillow fight.



Must we continue recycling this endless circle of hatred and hurt?


----------



## KHayes666

Santaclear said:


> Must we continue recycling this endless circle of hatred and hurt?



maybe this will help....






aint nothin hea but a bunch of kidsss


----------



## cinnamitch

thatgirl08 said:


> yessir, a tornado in Rochester. Not Ontario county though.. Monroe mostly. Just nearly missed me over here in Brockport/Sweden/Hamlin area.
> 
> 
> 
> Who's laughing? I'm not chastising you for posting in this thread.. it's the fact that like 18 people in a row posted OMG I KNOW SO MANY BULLIES THIS IS TERRIBLE WHAT DO WE DO I'M SO SAD. Like, are you people seriously letting internetdrama affect your life that much? If you are, get off the fucking computer and find some friends, honestly. I'm looking at you FGF.
> 
> 
> 
> Dude, word.
> 
> Just for the sake of being less vague I'll say this*.. Mossy, Traci, Dan and Mini are all huge douches but this forum would be so fucking boring without them. I'll add um, LoveBHMs to this list too. love that girl*.



Douches? I have yet to see any one of them sitting on the shelf of the feminine hygiene aisle.Well maybe Mini and Dan but i think they were doing research.


----------



## thatgirl08

cinnamitch said:


> Douches? I have yet to see any one of them sitting on the shelf of the feminine hygiene aisle.Well maybe Mini and Dan but i think they were doing research.



Hahah, research. I love that word though.


----------



## exile in thighville

to this day i have no fucking idea what it means when mossystate says *L*


----------



## fatgirlflyin

thatgirl08 said:


> Who's laughing? I'm not chastising you for posting in this thread.. it's the fact that like 18 people in a row posted OMG I KNOW SO MANY BULLIES THIS IS TERRIBLE WHAT DO WE DO I'M SO SAD. Like, are you people seriously letting internetdrama affect your life that much? If you are, get off the fucking computer and find some friends, honestly. I'm looking at you FGF.
> 
> 
> 
> Dude, word.
> 
> Just for the sake of being less vague I'll say this.. Mossy, Traci, Dan and Mini are all huge douches but this forum would be so fucking boring without them. I'll add um, LoveBHMs to this list too. love that girl.



I've got plenty of friends thanks. So does the fact that you are posting here mean that you don't? And I actually haven't said there were any bullies here. Just that there are plenty of types of bullies. Its a discussion board and I was discussing.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

exile in thighville said:


> to this day i have no fucking idea what it means when mossystate says *L*



I am pretty sure it means laughing?


----------



## Fascinita

Santaclear said:


> I dunno. These guys don't look that scary.



Appearances are deceiving, etc. I saw one of those guys (see below) stroll into the Kelligrl thread the other day and take out three wankers with a single, well-aimed post. Just like that. It was horrifying.

View attachment 67731


----------



## thatgirl08

fatgirlflyin said:


> I've got plenty of friends thanks. So does the fact that you are posting here mean that you don't? And I actually haven't said there were any bullies here. Just that there are plenty of types of bullies. Its a discussion board and I was discussing.



Could I really afford to be such a bitch if I was friendless?


----------



## thatgirl08

exile in thighville said:


> to this day i have no fucking idea what it means when mossystate says *L*



I've been wondering this lately.


----------



## imfree

Santaclear said:


> I dunno. These guys don't look that scary.



These guys look serious!


----------



## fatgirlflyin

thatgirl08 said:


> Could I really afford to be such a bitch if I was friendless?




Good point...

ETA: I actually tried to rep you for that post but I'm out. You have irritated the shit out of me in this thread, gotta admit that, but you made me LOL.


----------



## cinnamitch

I personally like my forum security team to be well dressed and high class at all times, separates us from the riff raff.


----------



## LoveBHMS

> Just for the sake of being less vague I'll say this.. Mossy, Traci, Dan and Mini are all huge douches but this forum would be so fucking boring without them. I'll add um, LoveBHMs to this list too. love that girl.



Squee.

:wubu::wubu::wubu:

But seriously, Thatgirl08 really nailed this whole issue.

1. Some people are jerks
2. We're all adults and can deal with it.


----------



## thatgirl08

fatgirlflyin said:


> Good point...
> 
> ETA: I actually tried to rep you for that post but I'm out. You have irritated the shit out of me in this thread, gotta admit that, but you made me LOL.



Haha, thank you darling. It's all in good fun.



LoveBHMS said:


> Squee.
> 
> :wubu::wubu::wubu:
> 
> But seriously, Thatgirl08 really nailed this whole issue.
> 
> 1. Some people are jerks
> 2. We're all adults and can deal with it.



Yep!


----------



## Paquito

Let's see...two adult women were previously disagreeing with one another, but now have resolved the issue and shared a laugh in the process.

What was so difficult about that?


----------



## Santaclear

imfree said:


> These guys look serious!



Yeah, that was the aftermath, after all the trouble the other day on the Kelligrl thread.

Poor guys. 

View attachment Forum Marshals WB LG.jpg


----------



## tonynyc

Santaclear said:


> Yeah, that was the aftermath, after all the trouble the other day on the Kelligrl thread.
> 
> Poor guys.



*Looks like Witness Protection, The New Look, The Prison chow and The Orange Jumpsuit didn't do wonders for Kelligirl's figure either *


----------



## LoveBHMS

free2beme04 said:


> Let's see...two adult women were previously arguing, but now have resolved the issue and shared a laugh in the process.
> 
> What was so difficult about that?



No shit.

It helps that they're both really cool chicks.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

LoveBHMS said:


> No shit.
> 
> It helps that they're both really cool chicks.




 Loves

Also I dont know that I'd call it arguing either. We don't really know each other, and its the internet. Discussing, even disagreeing, but not arguing.


----------



## imfree

tonynyc said:


> *Looks like Witness Protection, The New Look, The Prison chow and Orange Jumpsuit didn't do wonders for Kelligirl's figure either *



No, Tony, the person in the orange jump suit is only the
one Dimmer who knows where KG is. The Forum Marshals
just took the guy into protective custody to be sure the
secret doesn't get out.


----------



## tonynyc

imfree said:


> No, Tony, the person in the orange jump suit is only the
> one Dimmer who knows where KG is. The Forum Marshals
> just took the guy into protective custody to be sure the
> secret doesn't get out.



LOL - that clears that mystery up


----------



## KHayes666

tonynyc said:


> LOL - that clears that mystery up



Do the Scooby Doo call....after all, you solved the mystery lol


----------



## Mini

Now that we're all friends again, I call for a celebratory orgy.


----------



## tonynyc

KHayes666 said:


> Do the Scooby Doo call....after all, you solved the mystery lol



*Not without the Scooby Snacks*


----------



## thatgirl08

Mini said:


> Now that we're all friends again, I call for a celebratory orgy.



yaaaaaaaaaaaay


----------



## Paquito

As long as there are no orgy bullies, then I'm all in.


----------



## furious styles

exile in thighville said:


> to this day i have no fucking idea what it means when mossystate says *L*



i always thought it was a face? like the asterisks were eyes and the L was the nose .. kind of a @[email protected] in different terms.


----------



## thatgirl08

furious styles said:


> i always thought it was a face? like the asterisks were eyes and the L was the nose .. kind of a @[email protected] in different terms.



never thought of it that way.


----------



## mrfantasy90

Ha ha ha this is hillarious!


----------



## Fascinita

It has truly been an evening of such compassion, in the end. I think I'm feeling a little verklempt.


----------



## kayrae

yeah.. i thought it meant she was starry-eyed.



furious styles said:


> i always thought it was a face? like the asterisks were eyes and the L was the nose .. kind of a @[email protected] in different terms.


----------



## thatgirl08

kayrae said:


> yeah.. i thought it meant she was starry-eyed.



No I really do think it means she's laughing.


----------



## mossystate

You youngsters should know all these online twitches. Sheesh.

Ok...maybe it doesn't mean laugh.


----------



## Carl1h

My take on this is that anyone who thinks that this applies to them, it probably does. Consider it constructive criticism and try to do better. Self improvement in any form is no waste. Whether people point you out as a bully or not, trying to filter out our own bully-ish behavior is a good thing for all of us.

Arguing that others should be less sensitive or somehow less weak is a cop out. In the end we all should be moderating ourselves.


----------



## Angel

Mini said:


> So who is it, then?



I confess. I know it's me. 

I just like to have a little fun from time to time at the expense of someone else. You know, poke a little fun. Try to humiliate or embarrass; put them in their place. I know I have to add a little sarcasm and a smilie to the post, so it doen't appear that I am being seriously offensive or cruel. Those little smilies are what have kept me from being banned.  I can ridicule someone then end my post with a  and that winking smilie gets me off the hook. It's worked everytime so far. I can post anything hurtful as long as it's "my opinion". I'm entitled to post "my opinion" even if you all think I'm an asshole. I know how far I can go without crossing the line and getting banned. I'm a bully and I'm proud of it. My friends think I'm hilarious. You should see all the high fiving that goes on in our private messages. Sometimes we even tag team bully our target. More laughs. It's all just for fun and games. Just for laughs. No one ever takes me serious. My words can't hurt or offend anyway. They are mere words with no meaning behind them. Nothing at all. Just words on a forum. That's all. It's all about me having a good laugh anyway. It makes me feel good, at least for a minute or two. 

















I hope the day never comes when I may need a life saving organ transplant, and the only match is someone that I have never met in person but have relentlessly bullied and ridiculed online.


----------



## Mini

Carl1h said:


> My take on this is that anyone who thinks that this applies to them, it probably does. Consider it constructive criticism and try to do better. Self improvement in any form is no waste. Whether people point you out as a bully or not, trying to filter out our own bully-ish behavior is a good thing for all of us.
> 
> Arguing that others should be less sensitive or somehow less weak is a cop out. In the end we all should be moderating ourselves.



This sounds like something a pussy would say.


----------



## thatgirl08

Angel said:


> I confess. I know it's me.
> 
> I just like to have a little fun from time to time at the expense of someone else. You know, poke a little fun. Try to humiliate or embarrass; put them in their place. I know I have to add a little sarcasm and a smilie to the post, so it doen't appear that I am being seriously offensive or cruel. Those little smilies are what have kept me from being banned.  I can ridicule someone then end my post with a  and that winking smilie gets me off the hook. It's worked everytime so far. I can post anything hurtful as long as it's "my opinion". I'm entitled to post "my opinion" even if you all think I'm an asshole. I know how far I can go without crossing the line and getting banned. I'm a bully and I'm proud of it. My friends think I'm hilarious. You should see all the high fiving that goes on in our private messages. Sometimes we even tag team bully our target. More laughs. It's all just for fun and games. Just for laughs. No one ever takes me serious. My words can't hurt or offend anyway. They are mere words with no meaning behind them. Nothing at all. Just words on a forum. That's all. It's all about me having a good laugh anyway. It makes me feel good, at least for a minute or two.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I hope the day never comes when I may need a life saving organ transplant, and the only match is someone that I have never met in person but have relentlessly bullied and ridiculed online.



Who the fuck are you? I've never seen you post a single thing on this forum until just now.


----------



## Angel

thatgirl08 said:


> Who the fuck are you? I've never seen you post a single thing on this forum until just now.



Nice to meet you, too.


----------



## Wagimawr

This is why we get all the newbies.

Hint: don't put the immediate smackdown on the people with 3-digit post counts.

Also, as far as some points made earlier about letting it all hang out as far as accusations were concerned, wasn't Hyde Park closed in part because of too many people saying exactly what they think about another person and then not letting it go? I'm all for brutal honesty, but if it makes people hate each other in or out of an argument, is it worth it? Yes, because then you know where everyone stands. Usually.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

thatgirl08 said:


> Who the fuck are you? I've never seen you post a single thing on this forum until just now.



She's actually been around for quite a while....way before you or I were here.


----------



## Shosh

Angel said:


> I confess. I know it's me.
> 
> I just like to have a little fun from time to time at the expense of someone else. You know, poke a little fun. Try to humiliate or embarrass; put them in their place. I know I have to add a little sarcasm and a smilie to the post, so it doen't appear that I am being seriously offensive or cruel. Those little smilies are what have kept me from being banned.  I can ridicule someone then end my post with a  and that winking smilie gets me off the hook. It's worked everytime so far. I can post anything hurtful as long as it's "my opinion". I'm entitled to post "my opinion" even if you all think I'm an asshole. I know how far I can go without crossing the line and getting banned. I'm a bully and I'm proud of it. My friends think I'm hilarious. You should see all the high fiving that goes on in our private messages. Sometimes we even tag team bully our target. More laughs. It's all just for fun and games. Just for laughs. No one ever takes me serious. My words can't hurt or offend anyway. They are mere words with no meaning behind them. Nothing at all. Just words on a forum. That's all. It's all about me having a good laugh anyway. It makes me feel good, at least for a minute or two.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I hope the day never comes when I may need a life saving organ transplant, and the only match is someone that I have never met in person but have relentlessly bullied and ridiculed online.



Well said Angel. Very thought provoking.


----------



## petunia805

Angel said:


> I confess. I know it's me.
> 
> I just like to have a little fun from time to time at the expense of someone else. You know, poke a little fun. Try to humiliate or embarrass; put them in their place. I know I have to add a little sarcasm and a smilie to the post, so it doen't appear that I am being seriously offensive or cruel. Those little smilies are what have kept me from being banned.  I can ridicule someone then end my post with a  and that winking smilie gets me off the hook. It's worked everytime so far. I can post anything hurtful as long as it's "my opinion". I'm entitled to post "my opinion" even if you all think I'm an asshole. I know how far I can go without crossing the line and getting banned. I'm a bully and I'm proud of it. My friends think I'm hilarious. You should see all the high fiving that goes on in our private messages. Sometimes we even tag team bully our target. More laughs. It's all just for fun and games. Just for laughs. No one ever takes me serious. My words can't hurt or offend anyway. They are mere words with no meaning behind them. Nothing at all. Just words on a forum. That's all. It's all about me having a good laugh anyway. It makes me feel good, at least for a minute or two.
> 
> 
> I hope the day never comes when I may need a life saving organ transplant, and the only match is someone that I have never met in person but have relentlessly bullied and ridiculed online.


 
I love it!!! Well done!!


----------



## thatgirl08

Angel said:


> Nice to meet you, too.



:]



Wagimawr said:


> Hint: don't put the immediate smackdown on the people with 3-digit post counts.



Clearly over it. 



BigBellySSBBW said:


> She's actually been around for quite a while....way before you or I were here.



Yeah, saw that. Just surprised that she was all 'yeah I'm bully and I don't care' since I have seriously never seen a post of hers before. Like where are these mean posts? just.. interesting.


----------



## mossystate

Angel said:


> I hope the day never comes when I may need a life saving organ transplant, and the only match is someone that I have never met in person but have relentlessly bullied and ridiculed online.



This is dramatic...overly so.

You are talking about what is mostly a matter of things people do not agree on, and sometimes get super sassy with the delivery of opinion. New people, who truly are not trolls and have dipped a toe into the Dims waters, and have had strong people grill them....now, that can sometimes be a lil scary...lol

We have people who are using the word bully, and have also bullied....using their definition. Being better at holding people to their words, does not mean that they are being bullied. This gets so silly. It has been shown again and again, when people pout after they have gotten feedback. I think it is time to put aside personal dislike, when people want to label...since they are the kinder people, of course...and ffs, be consistent...and hold the hysteria.


----------



## thatgirl08

Wagimawr said:


> Also, as far as some points made earlier about letting it all hang out as far as accusations were concerned, wasn't Hyde Park closed in part because of too many people saying exactly what they think about another person and then not letting it go? I'm all for brutal honesty, but if it makes people hate each other in or out of an argument, is it worth it? Yes, because then you know where everyone stands. Usually.



It's not like it's exactly a secret anyway.


----------



## Tau

People just need to take a deep breath and not take the internet so seriously


----------



## Shosh

Tau said:


> People just need to take a deep breath and not take the internet so seriously



There comes a time when people have to take a stand and not tolerate such belligerent behaviour from the same people time after time.

Some are just so uncivilized and lacking in social skills, hence they feel at ease with launching attacks upon others from behind their computer screens.

Thankfully most here are not of their ilk.


----------



## Tau

I just read the article and it kinda seems like a giant thumb suck to me - the author of this article is seriously, seriously reaching. I am fairly new to Dims so perhaps have not been exposed to these supposed bullies but seriously, if somebody is annoying you or you find them offensive just tell them off and move on with your life - calling them a bully and turning the situation into some kind of playground drama is really pathetic. Dims is a forum created for adults by adults - why don't we all just act our age, grow a little back bone and, when occasions arise where we feel 'bullied' or whatever, deal with that individual then and there instead of sulking about it and making pitiful innuendos.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

thatgirl08 said:


> :]
> 
> 
> 
> Clearly over it.
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah, saw that. Just surprised that she was all 'yeah I'm bully and I don't care' since I have seriously never seen a post of hers before. Like where are these mean posts? just.. interesting.




It's sarcasm, lol. Angel is one of the sweetest people around!


----------



## Shosh

Tau said:


> I just read the article and it kinda seems like a giant thumb suck to me - the author of this article is seriously, seriously reaching. I am fairly new to Dims so perhaps have not been exposed to these supposed bullies but seriously, if somebody is annoying you or you find them offensive just tell them off and move on with your life - calling them a bully and turning the situation into some kind of playground drama is really pathetic. Dims is a forum created for adults by adults - why don't we all just act our age, grow a little back bone and, when occasions arise where we feel 'bullied' or whatever, deal with that individual then and there instead of sulking about it and making pitiful innuendos.



You are right, you are fairly new, not that that is a bad thing, but as such you are probably not privy to the history of the outrageous behaviour of some.

Please do not dismiss how some feel about this.


----------



## LillyBBBW

mossystate said:


> This is dramatic...overly so.
> 
> You are talking about what is mostly a matter of things people do not agree on, and sometimes get super sassy with the delivery of opinion. New people, who truly are not trolls and have dipped a toe into the Dims waters, and have had strong people grill them....now, that can sometimes be a lil scary...lol
> 
> We have people who are using the word bully, and have also bullied....using their definition. Being better at holding people to their words, does not mean that they are being bullied. This gets so silly. It has been shown again and again, when people pout after they have gotten feedback. I think it is time to put aside personal dislike, when people want to label...since they are the kinder people, of course...and ffs, be consistent...and hold the hysteria.



It appears at times that you in particular have a tendency to ascribe the word 'creepy' to people in a heavy handed manner that at least to my perception seems over the top. If you don't say it outright it is definitley implied in that not so subtle way. I would say a major part of the time I personally tend to agree with your position in things but I'm hesitant to add my voice because I want to distance myself from that particular strain of thought. Clearly you have a right to your opinion and enough people hoot and hollar behind it to implicate there are many who agree. This opinion does straddle the very fine line between personal opinion and personal attack in my view. There are people here whom I believe are assholes. They know who they are, but I would never post it here because it's a violation of the rules. You seem to be able to bypass the rules however due to that gift of subtelty you have along with the cheering mob behind you. It does come off as bullying and it does give the impression that your talents allow you to get away with something others are punished immediately for. You are entitled to your opinion however many feel you are not entitled to attack anyone personally which your posts at times appear to do.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

LillyBBBW said:


> with something others are punished immediately for.



Some of us are even punished for defending ourselves. I can't count how many times my posts have been deleted for defending MY actions and thoughts in response to other people.

I do think some people here get away with everything....but I tend to stay in the back-ground and for the most part, out of drama.

The question then becomes, who is responsible for letting some get away with blatantly breaking the rules whilst others are punished for minor infractions?


----------



## LillyBBBW

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Some of us are even punished for defending ourselves. I can't count how many times my posts have been deleted for defending MY actions and thoughts in response to other people.
> 
> I do think some people here get away with everything....but I tend to stay in the back-ground and for the most part, out of drama.
> 
> The question then becomes, who is responsible for letting some get away with blatantly breaking the rules whilst others are punished for minor infractions?



I don't know, but there has been talk of people getting away with murder here for a while and my name has been pulled out of the hat a few times as well. I admit, I've done it a time or two and gotten away with it. In my defense it was mostly used against people who were on their way to being banned anyway so I figured what the heck!


----------



## TraciJo67

Tau said:


> I just read the article and it kinda seems like a giant thumb suck to me - the author of this article is seriously, seriously reaching. I am fairly new to Dims so perhaps have not been exposed to these supposed bullies but seriously, if somebody is annoying you or you find them offensive just tell them off and move on with your life - calling them a bully and turning the situation into some kind of playground drama is really pathetic. Dims is a forum created for adults by adults - why don't we all just act our age, grow a little back bone and, when occasions arise where we feel 'bullied' or whatever, deal with that individual then and there instead of sulking about it and making pitiful innuendos.



Agreed :bow: 

I can tell you now that this isn't going to compute for the professional victims. They'll continue to rant on and on about how unfair it all is, and how "some" get carte blanche to treat others badly (and in the same breath, will reassure the moderators that they're doing a wonderful job, and won't see any kind of disconnect at all between the two concepts). I've seen shitty behavior by most of the people posting in this thread, myself included. And I've seen random acts of kindness and displays of empathy and a lot of humor and intelligent insights, again by the same people. We all have a bit of the bully in us, especially if/when we feel that our personal values have been violated. There are very few people here -- none have participated in this thread, naturally -- who I feel are delicate wraiths, incapable of defending themselves. But I do see a lot of people who seem incapable of owning the darker side of their nature, or of acknowledging that they've behaved badly themselves. This "I'm a nice person and you're a pile of shit" argument is overly simplistic, dramatic, and delusional. We're all nice. We're all cruel. Varying degrees.


----------



## Jack Burton

This thread is a great example of why I am, and will continue to remain, a lurker here.


----------



## Mini

Jack Burton said:


> This thread is a great example of why I am, and will continue to remain, a lurker here.



Also, you don't have to post to view the Paysite board.


----------



## TraciJo67

LillyBBBW said:


> I don't know, but there has been talk of people getting away with murder here for a while and my name has been pulled out of the hat a few times as well. I admit, I've done it a time or two and gotten away with it. In my defense it was mostly used against people who were on their way to being banned anyway so I figured what the heck!



Lilly, I think that I'm one of the people who said that some of your posts could be construed as bullying. For the record, I don't think that you're a bully at all. I was trying to make a point, and probably did so badly. What I think is that you're an insightful woman with a powerful gift of using language in a very persuasive manner. This can intimidate people who are less capable of expressing themselves clearly and succintly. I'm not implying that you're at fault, either. I'm just stating a fact: You are a force to be reckoned with, yourself.

As for myself, I have this need to "win" that sometimes overshadows my otherwise good sense. I know this about myself, and in my personal life, I try to temper it. I'm not always so careful on an internet message board, though I know that I should be. That is my failing. I know it. I don't mean to be thoughtless or callous, I just don't always think before I blurt whatever comes to mind, most particularly when the issue is a hot button one for me. I also have very little patience for stealth bombers and those who are experts at subtle, covert forms of verbal abuse. The kind of person, in other words, who will say something that is very mean, cloak it in a few vagaries, and ... bombs away. If he/she is called on the behavior ... well <indignant posture> I didn't MEAN YOU ... I didn't SAY it was YOU ... what makes you think it was about YOU? ... I didn't mean that at all, it was YOU who misconstrued the message, etc etc. This kind of behavior pushes my buttons, and I don't react well to it.


----------



## LoveBHMS

> I also have very little patience for stealth bombers and those who are experts at subtle, covert forms of verbal abuse.



*L*

And yes, i'm laughing at this quote.


----------



## KHayes666

LillyBBBW said:


> It appears at times that you in particular have a tendency to ascribe the word 'creepy' to people in a heavy handed manner that at least to my perception seems over the top. If you don't say it outright it is definitley implied in that not so subtle way. I would say a major part of the time I personally tend to agree with your position in things but I'm hesitant to add my voice because I want to distance myself from that particular strain of thought. Clearly you have a right to your opinion and enough people hoot and hollar behind it to implicate there are many who agree. This opinion does straddle the very fine line between personal opinion and personal attack in my view. There are people here whom I believe are assholes. They know who they are, but I would never post it here because it's a violation of the rules. *You seem to be able to bypass the rules however due to that gift of subtelty you have along with the cheering mob behind you. It does come off as bullying and it does give the impression that your talents allow you to get away with something others are punished immediately for. You are entitled to your opinion however many feel you are not entitled to attack anyone personally which your posts at times appear to do.[*/QUOTE]
> 
> Bolded because I too feel this way, but its not just her. I can't say how many times I've seen a guy who's first post is "I like big bellies" or something vague and IMMEDIATELY is attacked by the same people, all because he expressed what he liked.
> 
> Is that the kind of atmosphere we want here, where people are afraid to post because they don't want to be mocked or attacked? I know Mini was joking when told the other guy to not be a "pussy", but generally that's still the attitude around here.
> 
> Just looking at most of the posts on this forum, it goes from Mutual Admiriations Society to Lets Gang Up On Someone For No Good Reason with a snap of the finger.
> 
> I'm all in favor of putting a good shellacking on someone who's being an outright a-hole and saying overly creepy things, but for someone who expresses a love for something abnormal doesn't give people the automatic right to attack them.
> 
> I've already done what I've said I was going to do, I suggest that others also find ways to do something about the bullying.


----------



## LillyBBBW

TraciJo67 said:


> Lilly, I think that I'm one of the people who said that some of your posts could be construed as bullying. For the record, I don't think that you're a bully at all. I was trying to make a point, and probably did so badly. What I think is that you're an insightful woman with a powerful gift of using language in a very persuasive manner. This can intimidate people who are less capable of expressing themselves clearly and succintly. I'm not implying that you're at fault, either. I'm just stating a fact: You are a force to be reckoned with, yourself.
> 
> As for myself, I have this need to "win" that sometimes overshadows my otherwise good sense. I know this about myself, and in my personal life, I try to temper it. I'm not always so careful on an internet message board, though I know that I should be. That is my failing. I know it. I don't mean to be thoughtless or callous, I just don't always think before I blurt whatever comes to mind, most particularly when the issue is a hot button one for me. I also have very little patience for stealth bombers and those who are experts at subtle, covert forms of verbal abuse. The kind of person, in other words, who will say something that is very mean, cloak it in a few vagaries, and ... bombs away. If he/she is called on the behavior ... well <indignant posture> I didn't MEAN YOU ... I didn't SAY it was YOU ... what makes you think it was about YOU? ... I didn't mean that at all, it was YOU who misconstrued the message, etc etc. This kind of behavior pushes my buttons, and I don't react well to it.



Bleh, and I'm about to engage in the same sad behavior just now. When I was talking about being called a bully I really didn't mean you as the accuser. In fact I had no idea you had ever done so, so now I'm going to have to go look and see if I can sputter indignantly there. I was mainly talking about Ernest Nagel and T Devil. Didn't want to mention names but it's probably better at this juncture. The other two people, Superodalisque and Swordchick, were making broad generalized statements about bullying in a thread where I was the main antagonist so I assumed it was an indirect way of addressing me though of course I'm not certain. Saying their names seemed unfair under the circumstances but if I'm going to have people suspicious anyway I may as well narrow it down some. Anyone else who's been calling me a bully can continue to do so, I haven't caught on yet.


----------



## TraciJo67

LillyBBBW said:


> Bleh, and I'm about to engage in the same sad behavior just now. When I was talking about being called a bully I really didn't mean you as the accuser. In fact I had no idea you had ever done so, so now I'm going to have to go look and see if I can sputter indignantly there. I was mainly talking about Ernest Nagel and T Devil. Didn't want to mention names but it's probably better at this juncture. The other two people, Superodalisque and Swordchick, were making broad generalized statements about bullying in a thread where I was the main antagonist so I assumed it was an indirect way of addressing me though of course I'm not certain. Saying their names seemed unfair under the circumstances but if I'm going to have people suspicious anyway I may as well narrow it down some. Anyone else who's been calling me a bully can continue to do so, I haven't caught on yet.



I'm not suspicious, Lilly -- by now, you probably have found the thread that I was referring to


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

on another note Timberwolf stole my lunch money and switched around my letters the other day.

it was fucked up.


----------



## LillyBBBW

TraciJo67 said:


> I'm not suspicious, Lilly -- by now, you probably have found the thread that I was referring to



LOL I actually went to look and see if there were any threads out there where you called me out directly as a bully. Sadly there aren't any other than the small inferences you've made here which I completely agree with so there's no fire. This is a very tough argument to make because I've long felt it was unfair to penalize people for expressing their views and maybe mispelling a word here and there, or not having the language skills to receive an honorary degree at Harvard. At the same time I don't like the idea of people being silenced for the opposite reason. Big words can be intimidating but that doesn't automatically mean the person speaking is 'right' or has more right to express themselvs. We can't stop people from feeling that way I guess but still, we can't help the way we express ourselves. Some here are complaining about these differences alone which I personally think are non issues. I can't help it if I don't know what onomatopoeia means without looking it up in the dictionary. It is hard to sort those sorts of accusations out from the specific things that are worth talking about though, especially when no one will say exactly what those things are. I'm with you in that I think people should come right out and say what specifically is bothersome and not just accuse the person of using language that is underwhelming/intimidating.


----------



## Surlysomething

Santaclear said:


> There is a major motion picture in the works, _Thread Bully,_ starring Russell Crowe, Roseanne Barr, John Goodman, Meryl Streep and Harry Dean Stanton as "Gramps."




hehe! HDS isn't in enough flicks imo.


----------



## LillyBBBW

BothGunsBlazing said:


> on another note Timberwolf stole my lunch money and switched around my letters the other day.
> 
> it was fucked up.



Hehehe, Goth Buns?


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

LillyBBBW said:


> Hehehe, Goth Buns?



I was chased down by many a Twilight fan on that day.


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## cinnamitch

LillyBBBW said:


> LOL I actually went to look and see if there were any threads out there where you called me out directly as a bully. Sadly there aren't any other than the small inferences you've made here which I completely agree with so there's no fire. This is a very tough argument to make because I've long felt it was unfair to penalize people for expressing their views and maybe mispelling a word here and there, or not having the language skills to receive an honorary degree at Harvard. At the same time I don't like the idea of people being silenced for the opposite reason. Big words can be intimidating but that doesn't automatically mean the person speaking is 'right' or has more right to express themselvs. We can't stop people from feeling that way I guess but still, we can't help the way we express ourselves. Some here are complaining about these differences alone which I personally think are non issues. I can't help it if I don't know what *onomatopoeia* means without looking it up in the dictionary. It is hard to sort those sorts of accusations out from the specific things that are worth talking about though, especially when no one will say exactly what those things are. I'm with you in that I think people should come right out and say what specifically is bothersome and not just accuse the person of using language that is underwhelming/intimidating.



There you go with that Pee thing again. Just spelling it differently. No matter i still have to go to the bathroom..Thank you Lilly


----------



## BarbBBW

wow , I had 3 pages of reading for catching up on this thread. I am glad I had my coffee here with me as I read it all.
I do agree, That there are many times,lately, I haven't posted because of the chance of "arguments and personal attacks" on my opinion. And It is true, I put it out there and expect opinions on it, but it certainly almost always does turn into a personal attack on me. So, I have learned to keep it to a minimum. Post to a minimum and also pics to a minimum. 
When I first started DIMS, i didnt know a site for size acceptance could be so judgmental of others views. I went in head first and couldnt wait for others to give opinions and their variations on my idea's and thoughts. I was so excited to hear what others thought and felt. But boy did that SUCK! I was quickly "put in my place" by several people. 
So you live and learn and as you go, try to keep your mouth shut, as not to start any arguments. Unless, there is something you see, where you just can not keep quiet anymore and need to say what you need to say. Then its,....:doh:


----------



## LillyBBBW

cinnamitch said:


> There you go with that Pee thing again. Just spelling it differently. No matter i still have to go to the bathroom..Thank you Lilly



See, you've made me laugh again and now *I* have to pee.


----------



## TraciJo67

tonynyc said:


> *Whether you found my point subtle or not - I could care less *



I think that the phrase you're probably looking for is "I _couldn't_ care less", Tony. And, stellar comeback! Lots of information, lots of motivation for me to acknowledge your viewpoint (being that you've fleshed it out so well, that is) and to perhaps work on redressing any issues that you may have with me  

FWIW, I don't think we've said more than a few words to each other in the years that I've been at Dims. I honestly haven't a clue what has you so angry at me, that you'd all but scream, full caps, that I'm a FEMALE BITCH (DOG) with opinions that have as much worth as a puddle of piss. I don't know you, and have never identified you as a person that I've had any problems with. I'd actually like to know why you're so hostile. Here, or PM, if you're willing.


----------



## Webmaster

TraciJo67 said:


> ...What were you hoping to accomplish, Conrad?....



I felt the article provided a very good description of the forum bully syndrome, and educating oneself on the topic would be universally beneficial.


----------



## cinnamitch

LillyBBBW said:


> See, you've made me laugh again and now *I* have to pee.



Meet ya over on that pee in the bed posting


----------



## Ernest Nagel

"I believe no man was ever scolded out of his sins." ~ William Cowper

I believe this ^ is true. People don't change their basic nature after a certain age. Why expect otherwise or assume someone can be chided or shamed into something else?

That said, any life-choice or behavior is as valid as another if it works for you. Being an asshole, lurker, bully, victim, etc. is anyone's right to choose. On some level being who we are gets us what we want. No doubt some aspects of behaving as what has yet to be clearly defined as a "bully" works for some people. It gets them what they want, be that rep, confidence, satisfaction or most likely the sense of being _The Righteous Avenger_. Why sweat the labels? I think online and elsewhere this is probably as good a rule as any? v

"A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult." Proverbs 12:16 NIV

Or, if you prefer, "Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears." ~ Marcus Aurelius Antoninus 

If you can't implement the above advice and you're thin-skinned just use the "ignore" button for me or anyone else who scrapes your paint. Some people are what I call PPW (Panties Pre-Wadded). They're gonna go off with little or no provocation and whether that expresses as bully, victim or clever snarker is just based on what works for them. It's usually not even personal; just a coping mechanism and you were a convenient target. Find one that works for you. Life is too short to let someone who doesn't care about you screw up anyone's life but their own. 

One other passing thought. Maybe G-d invented bullies so assholes would have someone to feel superior to?


----------



## exile in thighville

Susannah said:


> You are right, you are fairly new, not that that is a bad thing, but as such you are probably not privy to the history of the outrageous behaviour of some.
> 
> Please do not dismiss how some feel about this.



I'm privy and I thought this "article" of cliche assumptions was ass. Much better cyberbullying piece that's based on facts rather than generalizations and surmisings (and actually brings up disturbing, newsworthy examples) here: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/magazine/03trolls-t.html?pagewanted=all


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## TraciJo67

exile in thighville said:


> I'm privy and I thought this "article" of cliche assumptions was ass. Much better cyberbullying piece that's based on facts rather than generalizations and surmisings (and actually brings up disturbing, newsworthy examples) here: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/magazine/03trolls-t.html?pagewanted=all



Yes.

I don't think anyone could read this article and not come away with a new sense of perspective.


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## Spanky

Bullies. 

This has been an interesting thread, Conrad. That you for starting it. 

I have always found real bullying to be carried out by those who are looking for attention. Inwardly lonely. Outwardly projecting themselves not by building themselves up, but by tearing others down. 

We have created a Dims-speak here. Many have learned how to write in such a way to make sure they are sounding as up on all of the new language created to be acceptable to minorities, gays, feminists, whites, Russians, old, young, etc etc. 

I always tremble when a young man or woman, fat or thin, FA or BBW, or just a new person, comes to Dims, full of vim and vigor, ready to contribute, and they use a term, unknowingly, that is deemed hurtful or insensitive to a group here. Maybe there was a 5000 post thread on a term or comment that they are not aware of. They don't know. Most times, it would be forgiven, not even mentioned, hell, probably not even important as compared to the question, thread topic or topic at hand. 

But bullies come in and put the smack-down. Yes, the bully will always go after the easy prey, the weak, the defenseless, the young, the unknowing. That is what they do. And they do it well. 

Oh, and bullies always have a Toadie. Always. Look for the bully post, and three or four posts down, there is the Toadie with the "yeah, yeah, good one boss, good one."

This is a female dominated board. This is my opinion based on looking at the most popular people in the top 100 by measure of rep points. Those top 100 probably represent a VERY large total of the overall posts on the boards. Would anyone say that many of the pushes and pulls, gives and takes, tend to be on a more female social plane? Men and women do not handle social situations the same way. They just don't. Females are much better socialized then men. Again, generally, and speaking from my experience with men and women. Swimming in this soup sometimes, I really feel that I am out of my home playing field. I am not crying foul or am I even upset about it. It is very interesting to see how things weave their way to a conclusion. I tend to sit back and NOT post many times for the sake of "not getting into it" or "why bother". Maybe I should speak up more. Fight the fights that need fighting.


----------



## LoveBHMS

It just kills me, the number of "people are just too sensitive" posts that have been made here. 

It's not about others being too sensitive, it's about people needing to take responsibility for their own behaviour. Does somebody have the right to be a jerk? Yeah, I guess legally they do but it doesn't mean they should or that in exercising their given right to harass and ridicule and shout down others they're not making this forum a worse place.

I suspect most, if not all, of the people who engage in this behaviour feel, or are, somewhat powerless and unhappy in real life. If you have to expend so much time and energy being mean on the internet, your life can't be all that good. And if you derive an immense amount of enjoyment from giving others a beatdown and then lowing about people who play "professional victim"--I think you should be taking a look at your own behaviour.

There are some posters here who _clearly_ get off on being rude and insulting others and oh-so-cleverly doing it just within the bounds of not getting banned. I'm referring to those who get on the Weight Board and comment about posts there when they've already self-identified as not being fetishists. 

I'm referring to people like TraciJo who pointedly go out of their way to respond to posts on the "Open Letters" thread when I bitch about my job they type up lengthy tirades about how I must suck at my job and must hate people just because I complained about something when complaining is the WHOLE POINT of the "Open Letters" thread. That's not me being a professional victim, it's you being rude.


----------



## exile in thighville

I'm clearly in the "people are too sensitive" camp but it all depends, really. A number of people here can't tell the difference between someone calling bullshit on them (shooting down a bullshit opinion or statement and arguing to the contrary, sometimes seen as "controversial") and harrassing/bullying them. That's why I think it's rather the opposite of the case in the article Conrad posted -- the "victim" is the one who justifies their claim via people rallying around them, accusing foul play when what they mean is they were forced to go back and form an argument based on something beyond what they perceive as conventional wisdom. My own meter for posting is - contrary to some belief - not if someone will get pissed off but if someone will laugh. I did it for the lulz.


----------



## TraciJo67

LoveBHMS said:


> It just kills me, the number of "people are just too sensitive" posts that have been made here.
> 
> It's not about others being too sensitive, it's about people needing to take responsibility for their own behaviour. Does somebody have the right to be a jerk? Yeah, I guess legally they do but it doesn't mean they should or that in exercising their given right to harass and ridicule and shout down others they're not making this forum a worse place.
> 
> I suspect most, if not all, of the people who engage in this behaviour feel, or are, somewhat powerless and unhappy in real life. If you have to expend so much time and energy being mean on the internet, your life can't be all that good. And if you derive an immense amount of enjoyment from giving others a beatdown and then lowing about people who play "professional victim"--I think you should be taking a look at your own behaviour.
> 
> There are some posters here who _clearly_ get off on being rude and insulting others and oh-so-cleverly doing it just within the bounds of not getting banned. I'm referring to those who get on the Weight Board and comment about posts there when they've already self-identified as not being fetishists.
> 
> I'm referring to people like TraciJo who pointedly go out of their way to respond to posts on the "Open Letters" thread when I bitch about my job they type up lengthy tirades about how I must suck at my job and must hate people just because I complained about something when complaining is the WHOLE POINT of the "Open Letters" thread. That's not me being a professional victim, it's you being rude.



LoveBHMS, we were once on very friendly terms. And then Cankle-gate came along, and I didn't support you. I have to wonder if this is grudge-related, at least in part. FWIW, I wasn't actively trying to be rude to you. I read what you wrote, and it annoyed me because I read it as very hostile towards the people who ensure that you have a job. And it seems like every time I respond to you, you find some way to sneak in that I feel entitled or above you or that I'm flashing my enormous wealth. I work with HOMELESS PEOPLE. That's my job. My client base -- the people that I'm answerable to, those who ensure that I continue to receive my 'enormous' paycheck (because it's generally known that people in social services make the huge $$). I don't think a job could be much more humbling than that, and there are many people who would quite enthusiastically place 'waitress' many pegs above a willingness to sit directly across from someone who spent the last few weeks sleeping under a bridge abutment and hasn't had access to a toothbrush or a bar of soap in all that time. You may think that I'm a shitty excuse for a person at times, and perhaps there is some validity to your feelings. But I will say this: I have a very strong sense that I chose a profession in which it is my job to serve the people who come to me in need of assistance. You serve a different crowd, but serve is the functional word here, and I was actually appalled at the language that you used to describe your patrons (i.e., 'assplant where I put you' and 'wait to be fucking seated'). You seem to think that because the venting thread is about venting, nobody should express an opinion about the subject matter in which you chose to vent. I disagree. 

And finally, this: Right or wrong, I cannot empathize with people who feel victimized and bullied on a message board. Anyone who feels this way has many choices, one of which would be to simply turn off the computer. I cannot -- will not -- empathize because I have what *I* feel is a perspective of what is truly worthy of agonizing about, and someone calling me a bitch on the internet is most decidedly not one of them. All in all, I feel that people who are *this* upset about internet bullying have luxuries beyond imagining for roughly 90% of the rest of the world. I fully admit that my perspective is informed by who I am, what I do for a living, and what I've seen beyond the well-fed borders of my own world. But there it is. Perspective. Mine.

ETA: I've never thought of you as a professional victim. You weren't at all who I had in mind. You, like me, pretty much tend to say whatever is on your mind, directly, and without pretty words wrapped around the pointed barbs. And you have no problem with defending your perspective, nor have I ever seen you claim victim.


----------



## Mathias

I can think of three right off the bat.


----------



## LoveBHMS

Perspective. Mine.

Quit bringing up Canklegate, because it's nothing more than an attempted rallying cry to remind people of my supposed biases. There is no grudge here, you need to own your behaviour.

People vent about their jobs all the time. Get over it. You can be a teacher venting about rude parents, a doctor venting about annoying patients, an executive venting about a demanding or late paying client, and a bartender venting about the bad behaviour of the general public. While I loved the sneaky attack on my job (your reference to putting 'waitress' above your noble willingness to sit near somebody who lived under a bridge) you need to shut it. This economy sucks and I'm lucky to have a job; I do my job *well* and those of us with a good work ethic will always work hard at any job whether it's menial or not.

Your last paragraph is just breathtaking in its nastiness. You can't feel sympathy for anyone who feels bullied, and that's your green light to continue on with your behaviour.


----------



## TraciJo67

LoveBHMS said:


> Perspective. Mine.
> 
> Quit bringing up Canklegate, because it's nothing more than an attempted rallying cry to remind people of my supposed biases. There is no grudge here, you need to own your behaviour.
> 
> People vent about their jobs all the time. Get over it. You can be a teacher venting about rude parents, a doctor venting about annoying patients, an executive venting about a demanding or late paying client, and a bartender venting about the bad behaviour of the general public. While I loved the sneaky attack on my job (your reference to putting 'waitress' above your noble willingness to sit near somebody who lived under a bridge) you need to shut it. This economy sucks and I'm lucky to have a job; I do my job *well* and those of us with a good work ethic will always work hard at any job whether it's menial or not.
> 
> Your last paragraph is just breathtaking in its nastiness. You can't feel sympathy for anyone who feels bullied, and that's your green light to continue on with your behaviour.



OK, you're going to see only what you want to see.

First of all, Canklegate: When was the last time I brought it up?!? I bring it up here because I do believe it has some bearing on why (I feel) that you are constantly misconstruing what I'm trying to say. You made a mistake, and something that you said in private got out. How you've conducted yourself since that time is, in my mind, admirable. It was not meant to garner any support. I don't have a pack of supporters, and never did. 

Second, I wanted you to understand some background behind *why* I reacted so strongly to your post. Again, you're reading far more into it than what I intended. And no, I don't need to 'shut it'. I didn't like what you said about your customers, and I explained why. 

I can understand why you feel the way you do about my final paragraph, but that is how I feel and I doubt I could change it even if I wanted to (which I don't). 

Yes, people vent. People also have to accept that others may not be very understanding about that. I pictured myself in your restaurant that night I read what you wrote, being seated by a smiling hostess who was actually seething with resentment because I asked for a different table (which I often do because I'm sensitive to having my 2-year-old seated next to a quiet, childless couple, for example) and I cringed at the thought. I'd also cringe if a doctor started 'venting' about patients that I can identify with (i.e, treating fat people) and if he/she did it where I saw or heard it, I'd probably remark on that too.


----------



## mossystate

LillyBBBW said:


> It appears at times that you in particular have a tendency to ascribe the word 'creepy' to people in a heavy handed manner that at least to my perception seems over the top. If you don't say it outright it is definitley implied in that not so subtle way. I would say a major part of the time I personally tend to agree with your position in things but I'm hesitant to add my voice because I want to distance myself from that particular strain of thought. Clearly you have a right to your opinion and enough people hoot and hollar behind it to implicate there are many who agree. This opinion does straddle the very fine line between personal opinion and personal attack in my view. There are people here whom I believe are assholes. They know who they are, but I would never post it here because it's a violation of the rules. You seem to be able to bypass the rules however due to that gift of subtelty you have along with the cheering mob behind you. It does come off as bullying and it does give the impression that your talents allow you to get away with something others are punished immediately for. You are entitled to your opinion however many feel you are not entitled to attack anyone personally which your posts at times appear to do.



I think a lot of this, what your saying, comes down to words used. I am really not all that subtle. I am sitting here thinking of times where I have said the word, or implied it. Just tell me what words I should use. If someone comes out and pretty much only says, " oh, baby, guess what I am holding in my hand ", yeah, I will probably say that is creepy. Your take on such people might be different, but that does not make me a ' bully '. It's as if the response to such people is more offensive to you than their actions. That's fine, but, I know that that is not bullying on my part. I don't say things so that my mob...oy...comes in to bolster me. So, please, from now on, if I defend another, or call a creep...creepy...anybody who even kind of likes me, do not post after me. If someone is treating another in a creepy manner, I am more than ok telling them they are being creepy. For some reason, more than with others, my doing it strikes a nerve. Maybe creepy is wanted/protected out here, that really could be part of it. Some of how this is viewed has much to do with your filter, and the personalties you like, or don't like. Normal, but, I will not own the label you are trying to slap on me ( and that sounded more dramatic than I meant it...just speaking my truth ). As for you not telling people they are asshole. Good lord, woman...and I say this with more understanding than you show me...you are wonderful at it, in your own way. My way is more splashy...yours is more like a surgeons scalpel. I admire both.


----------



## kayrae

Geez, that story link is heartbreaking. And that troll... wow!



exile in thighville said:


> I'm privy and I thought this "article" of cliche assumptions was ass. Much better cyberbullying piece that's based on facts rather than generalizations and surmisings (and actually brings up disturbing, newsworthy examples) here: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/magazine/03trolls-t.html?pagewanted=all


----------



## TraciJo67

A very wise person recently said something that gave me pause. At one point or another, we've all fit the bill as a forum bully. What is the worse thing that can happen by just acknowledging that? Will (the general) we melt ala water-drenched Wicked Witch style? Must we pretend that we're *always* kind and generous and never petty or rude?

OK, LoveBHMS ... here it is: I was rude to you. It wasn't my intention to bully you, and I think you're stretching for that category, but I can definitely see why you felt that it was rude. I should have just let you vent. I'm sorry that I didn't. I've come up with a whole list of reasons for why I said what I did, but I never acknowledged that yes, it could very definitely also be categorized as rude, all rationalizations aside.

I'd love to see a few other people own up to their own bad behavior, but I'm not optimistic. I'd be very happy to be proven wrong, though.


----------



## Paquito

I jump on the bandwagon alot, and I get very defensive if anyone tries to challenge me. I tend to do anything to try to get my point across, and I can get nasty in the process.


----------



## Ernest Nagel

TraciJo67 said:


> A very wise person recently said something that gave me pause. At one point or another, we've all fit the bill as a forum bully. What is the worse thing that can happen by just acknowledging that? Will (the general) we melt ala water-drenched Wicked Witch style? Must we pretend that we're *always* kind and generous and never petty or rude?
> 
> OK, LoveBHMS ... here it is: I was rude to you. It wasn't my intention to bully you, and I think you're stretching for that category, but I can definitely see why you felt that it was rude. I should have just let you vent. I'm sorry that I didn't. I've come up with a whole list of reasons for why I said what I did, but I never acknowledged that yes, it could very definitely also be categorized as rude, all rationalizations aside.
> 
> *I'd love to see a few other people own up to their own bad behavior, but I'm not optimistic. *I'd be very happy to be proven wrong, though.



I'm more than willing to acknowledge I have been a bastard coated bastard with bastard filling to many people here and will likely be so again. When I was originally here with the hope of finding someone to possibly share my life with I know I was more sensitive to perceived snarks and provocations. I don't know how much that factors in some people's inappropriate responses but my male ego always seems a little more tender in the presence of attractive women. Now that I've withdrawn from any notion of romance my image concerns me very little. I don't know if that will make me a greater or lesser jerk?

I think it's a rare and fortunate individual who has a truly accurate perception of themselves. Those things we find deeply offensive in others tend to be the things we most fear seeing in ourselves. I'm inclined to believe that only with the complete annihilation of "self" can we ever become truly harmless in the world. Unfortunately I don't have that kind of commitment or time. Changing my siggy though to remind me of something important about humility. :bow:


----------



## SocialbFly

LoveBHMS said:


> Perspective. Mine.
> 
> Quit bringing up Canklegate, because it's nothing more than an attempted rallying cry to remind people of my supposed biases.



Only we don't have to suppose, you put it out there in black and white...so, i personally will always wonder what your TRUE reason for being here is.


----------



## LillyBBBW

mossystate said:


> I think a lot of this, what your saying, comes down to words used. I am really not all that subtle. I am sitting here thinking of times where I have said the word, or implied it. Just tell me what words I should use. If someone comes out and pretty much only says, " oh, baby, guess what I am holding in my hand ", yeah, I will probably say that is creepy. Your take on such people might be different, but that does not make me a ' bully '. It's as if the response to such people is more offensive to you than their actions. That's fine, but, I know that that is not bullying on my part. I don't say things so that my mob...oy...comes in to bolster me. So, please, from now on, if I defend another, or call a creep...creepy...anybody who even kind of likes me, do not post after me. If someone is treating another in a creepy manner, I am more than ok telling them they are being creepy.  For some reason, more than with others, my doing it strikes a nerve. Maybe creepy is wanted/protected out here, that really could be part of it. Some of how this is viewed has much to do with your filter, and the personalties you like, or don't like. Normal, but, I will not own the label you are trying to slap on me ( and that sounded more dramatic than I meant it...just speaking my truth ). As for you not telling people they are asshole. Good lord, woman...and I say this with more understanding than you show me...you are wonderful at it, in your own way. My way is more splashy...yours is more like a surgeons scalpel. I admire both.



I don't know mossy. Yes it's true that other people do it too, including me. I just know that many people have made good sport of coming in here and accusing you of being bullyish wheras others who do it remain relatively unmentioned. There has to be a reason why you, personally, get singled out and the others aren't particularly bothersome. Since no one else seems to be willing to go there I thought I might speculate as to the reason according to what I have observed. The only thing I can point to is possibly the atmoshpere of your posts. The idea that calling someone creepy is hitting a nerve is dead on accurate. If someone called you creepy I'd venture a guess that it would get on your nerves too. The concept that it crosses the line is legitimate and bringing it up is not an indication that the accuser has an ulterior motive or harbours a friendship with or an affinity for the views of the other person. That is not always true and is a handy example of one of those instances I mentioned where you tend to asign creepiness where none may be present. 

Where it gets murky is in the subtlety. In one thread in particular there was some cat-calling back and fourth in which you, I and several others were having fun at the expense of a one armed poster that went on for four pages. One person, male, made a bold statement and got a PM from a Mod. While chatting with him via PM he became very upset and felt singled out because as usual, most of the commentary in there was perpetrated by women, myself included, and he was male and felt not a part of the 'club'. He took it personally before I pointed out to him what his problem was: He is too direct. He has to be more passive aggressive humorous in his posts in order for them to work and remain. Unfiortunately my male friend is _always_ direct. I've never known him to operate well in a passive aggressive manner. I can barely keep up at times myself. I'm using this as an example of how you, and I, can get away with saying things that others can not and there may be some resentfulness there. Is it fair or unfair? That to me is what appears to be the question.


----------



## thatgirl08

This Canklegate thing is insanely retarded.


----------



## Mathias




----------



## Surlysomething

SocialbFly said:


> Only we don't have to suppose, you put it out there in black and white...so, i personally will always wonder what your TRUE reason for being here is.




I think her name kind of says it all.


----------



## thatgirl08

Mathias said:


>



I was seriously looking for this picture for this thread.


----------



## SocialbFly

I think we do have our own personal bullies here, most boards have a couple of well known ones...this is no different than real life, we all have to deal with people who are great at pointing but not so great at looking in the mirror...the best way to handle them is the ignore button when it gets to the point you want to strangle them for always feeling so put upon by general society or that their opinions truly hold more merit than yours. I always love the ones that bemoan all the support others have yet feel they have none, all the while whipping the thread to a frenzy....

I can do with less drama.

ignore button does work.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Mathias said:


>





thatgirl08 said:


> I was seriously looking for this picture for this thread.



Yep I know! It never gets old.


----------



## SocialbFly

thatgirl08 said:


> This Canklegate thing is insanely retarded.



I may be taking this wrong and am certainly willing to be wrong....


BUT i bet your thoughts would be different if YOUR feelings were hurt. This is my safe place, if i want to hear that shit, i can go hear it on the street.


----------



## thatgirl08

SocialbFly said:


> I may be taking this wrong and am certainly willing to be wrong....
> 
> 
> BUT i bet your thoughts would be different if YOUR feelings were hurt. This is my safe place, if i want to hear that shit, i can go hear it on the street.



I get that but I just think it's time to move on. It's been a really long time since it happened.


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## mergirl

Need to post before this thread gets closed down. 
Hmm.. if you feel someone is bullying you just tell them to fuck off. Call them on it. Right there and then, instead of skirting around the issue and then holding a grudge, thats just silly. In saying that some people are a lot more sensitive than others, and a post disagreement is seen as a personal attack. 
As for everyone on this post i will just bully you all in Scottish:

Ahhl pan yer coupons in ye scunnerin bunch o' crabbit, sleekit cowerin shower o' numpties. am gonna battter ye awe n cowp ye in a miden. ye's aw hiv coupins like skelped erses an deserve tae git leatherd! GD is ma honers btw so awa tae fuck!!! 
:happy:


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## mossystate

LillyBBBW said:


> I don't know mossy. Yes it's true that other people do it too, including me. I just know that many people have made good sport of coming in here and accusing you of being bullyish wheras others who do it remain relatively unmentioned. There has to be a reason why you, personally, get singled out and the others aren't particularly bothersome.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I am afraid that whatever I say is going to be seen as me thinking I am some godlike creature...but, no..jebus..no..lol. I think that with me, I am more larger than life with the humor attached to my zeroing in on people. If I were more ' academic ' about things, I would not be all that much different. I know many have said that I know how to get, quickly, to the guts of a situation. That is more noticeable. I could change the way I go at it, and I would then be seen as less of a ' bully '. It would not change what is being said. It would be like holding a tea cup, pinky out, saying things in a more clever manner. I could bring up quotes from long dead poets. I could say in 3 paragraphs, what can be said in one.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The idea that calling someone creepy is hitting a nerve is dead on accurate. If someone called you creepy I'd venture a guess that it would get on your nerves too.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Again, if someone, for example, is creepy with how they are approaching, let's say, a woman, I do not see the issue with saying that is creepy behavior. As for me being called creepy...I would just add it to the 40 names I have been called out here. I truly...honestly...consider the source, and I also step back and analyze the situation... I do.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> That is not always true and is a handy example of one of those instances I mentioned where you tend to asign creepiness where none may be present.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> But, when you see an asshole, some might say the person is not one. You might go back and read your notes, and still come up with a, " no, they are an asshole ".
> 
> 
> 
> Where it gets murky is in the subtlety. In one thread in particular there was some cat-calling back and fourth in which you, I and several others were having fun at the expense of a one armed poster that went on for four pages. One person, male, made a bold statement and got a PM from a Mod. While chatting with him via PM he became very upset and felt singled out because as usual, most of the commentary in there was perpetrated by women, myself included, and he was male and felt not a part of the 'club'. He took it personally before I pointed out to him what his problem was: He is too direct. He has to be more passive aggressive humorous in his posts in order for them to work and remain. Unfiortunately my male friend is _always_ direct. I've never known him to operate well in a passive aggressive manner. I can barely keep up at times myself. I'm using this as an example of how you, and I, can get away with saying things that others can not and there may be some resentfulness there. Is it fair or unfair? That to me is what appears to be the question.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> 
> If your friend is always direct, then I bet he has done a lot of that out here, and is not moderated..? I can't possibly comment on this scenario, as it does not ring a bell. And it does matter, to remember, because maybe he did cross a line ' we ' didn't. Not saying he did, and if the mods were not spanking us for the same thing he was doing, then talk to them. I have been warned. I have been infracted. I am really not a darling of the mods. *L* And, I think it might be a good example of my being more ' amusing ' with my shit. Some are a little jealous of that...not you, but, there are things, other than a bunch of saints not liking sinners like me, that come into play in terms of how any of us view other people, and how they get on our motherloving nerves.
Click to expand...


----------



## cinnamitch

mergirl said:


> Need to post before this thread gets closed down.
> Hmm.. if you feel someone is bullying you just tell them to fuck off. Call them on it. Right there and then, instead of skirting around the issue and then holding a grudge, thats just silly. In saying that some people are a lot more sensitive than others, and a post disagreement is seen as a personal attack.
> As for everyone on this post i will just bully you all in Scottish:
> 
> *Ahhl pan yer coupons in ye scunnerin bunch o' crabbit, sleekit cowerin shower o' numpties. am gonna battter ye awe n cowp ye in a miden. ye's aw hiv coupins like skelped erses an deserve tae git leatherd! GD is ma honers btw so awa tae fuck!!!
> :happy:*




So in translating that ,i think you are telling us that you have coupons for battered crabbit.


----------



## mergirl

cinnamitch said:


> [/B]
> 
> So in translating that ,i think you are telling us that you have coupons for battered crabbit.



haha.. yes, that is it! So put put that in your pipes and smoke it!!! muwahahahaha!
not really..but you are kinna close..


----------



## mossystate

cinnamitch said:


> [/B]
> 
> So in translating that ,i think you are telling us that you have coupons for battered crabbit.



Stop encouraging her with the fanny batter!!


----------



## mergirl

mossystate said:


> Stop encouraging her with the fanny batter!!


How else do you think we make deep fried mars bars? 
Secrets in the sauce


----------



## BarbBBW

mergirl said:


> How else do you think we make deep fried mars bars?
> Secrets in the sauce



now this gives me a reason to try those deep fried candy bars finally!! haha


----------



## exile in thighville

SocialbFly said:


> Only we don't have to suppose, you put it out there in black and white...so, i personally will always wonder what your TRUE reason for being here is.



she didn't put it out there. this board took it upon themselves to indict someone for a private conversation. she has every right to think whatever she wants is disgusting, and believe me, she's hardly the only one who's done this. you have no idea how many times i've heard a sentence from an actual fatty involving the phrase "I'M FINE WITH BEING BIG BUT WHEN YOU'RE TOO BIG TO __..." one of the mods here is a proud and flaming homophobe and she's allowed to moderate. what's her reason for being a board that supports lgbt? these are not mutually exclusive traits. 

and if it wasn't assumed common that many members would think various symptoms of the supersized were stomach-turning, what would the need be for a private board? i don't mind people thinking whatever they want about lovebhms - who fellates her foot on a regular basis and caused one of my favorite people in the world to leave the board - but how that situation was handled was beyond shameful, as is the witch hunt that occurred for awhile for people ON A FAT ACCEPTANCE BOARD who are just here to spy for the russians. sometimes there are no wheels within wheels.


----------



## TraciJo67

exile in thighville said:


> she didn't put it out there. this board took it upon themselves to indict someone for a private conversation. she has every right to think whatever she wants is disgusting, and believe me, she's hardly the only one who's done this. you have no idea how many times i've heard a sentence from an actual fatty involving the phrase "I'M FINE WITH BEING BIG BUT WHEN YOU'RE TOO BIG TO __..." one of the mods here is a proud and flaming homophobe and she's allowed to moderate. what's her reason for being a board that supports lgbt? these are not mutually exclusive traits.
> 
> and if it wasn't assumed common that many members would think various symptoms of the supersized were stomach-turning, what would the need be for a private board? i don't mind people thinking whatever they want about lovebhms - who fellates her foot on a regular basis and caused one of my favorite people in the world to leave the board - but how that situation was handled was beyond shameful, as is the witch hunt that occurred for awhile for people ON A FAT ACCEPTANCE BOARD who are just here to spy for the russians. sometimes there are no wheels within wheels.



I agree with this, and I wish that I hadn't brought it up. She didn't make the comments publicly. Someone betrayed her trust. I can readily imagine myself in the same position, as I say things in PM that would never (hopefully) see the light of day on this message board. It happened, it's over, she stayed and from what I've seen, she's more than redeemed herself. Many times over, people (including myself) have thrown it in her face and for a very long time, she didn't comment at all. She just moved on. We all have issues with others that, if splashed on the message board, would make us appear petty and shallow and not very damn 'accepting' at all. 

I didn't mean for this to turn into another indictment. I brought it up because I thought that my lack of support back when it happened (in fact, I told LoveBHMS that I thought she should leave the board) was playing into what I at least perceive to be an intentional misunderstanding of my viewpoints. It was stupid of me to do so. What I think is that she's paid long enough.


----------



## Angel

Maybe this thread should be subtitled *GET YOUR FINAL JABS IN*.


It truly amazes me that an intelligent, articulate, and educated individual whom has read hundreds of posts pertaining to a particular subject matter can still lack the compassion to even be somewhat understanding. Yet they themselves feel slighted, picked on, or singled out when they are _misunderstood_.



You can only try to help someone see the world in a different light for so long. Eventually you give up trying when their way of thinking is the only way they want to know. Eventually everyone will give up on that person. 


Eventually *everyone* will get to the point of thinking _why even bother?_ 



We are all wasting our time.


----------



## Miss Vickie

Okay, so I read the article (after reading the thread, which I found far more illuminating than the article). Seems like the writer has an axe to grind (and admits as much in the last part of the article). I wonder this: Why does he insist on using "she" and "her" to describe forum bullies. Are there no male bullies?

As for as this relates to Dimensions, I suppose we've all been guilty of negative, bullying and other harmful behavior. Whether we're more up front and strident about it, or whether we passive aggressively try to control what others think and write, no one is immune. I think it's part of the human condition, just as we all experience conflict and misunderstanding. Many of us are carrying decades of negativity and hurt in our hearts because of how we've been treated, and it's not surprising that it would come out here.

I think it's important to remember that we're all friends (or at least acquaintances) here, and that if we elevate each other, we elevate ourselves as well. I'm not saying I'm particularly good at such a thing, just that we should maybe give it a try.


----------



## exile in thighville

angel's bumming me out


----------



## mossystate

Angel said:


> You can only try to help someone see the world in a different light for so long. Eventually you give up trying when their way of thinking is the only way they want to know. Eventually everyone will give up on that person.
> 
> 
> 
> I so agree. Some do not want to see anything that is not cemented in their brains.
> 
> 
> 
> We are all wasting our time.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Once again, I agree.
Click to expand...


----------



## Ernest Nagel

Angel said:


> Maybe this thread should be subtitled *GET YOUR FINAL JABS IN*.
> 
> 
> It truly amazes me that an intelligent, articulate, and educated individual whom has read hundreds of posts pertaining to a particular subject matter can still lack the compassion to even be somewhat understanding. Yet they themselves feel slighted, picked on, or singled out when they are _misunderstood_.
> 
> 
> 
> *You can only try to help someone see the world in a different light for so long.* *Eventually you give up trying when their way of thinking is the only way they want to know. Eventually everyone will give up on that person. *
> 
> 
> Eventually *everyone* will get to the point of thinking _why even bother?_
> 
> 
> 
> We are all wasting our time.



"At the bottom no one in life can help anyone else in life; this one experiences over and over in every conflict and every perplexity: that one is alone. That isn't as bad as it may first appear; and again it is the best thing in life that each should have everything in himself; his fate, his future, his whole expanse and world." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke :happy:


----------



## mergirl

Ernest Nagel said:


> "At the bottom no one in life can help anyone else in life; this one experiences over and over in every conflict and every perplexity: that one is alone. That isn't as bad as it may first appear; and again it is the best thing in life that each should have everything in himself; his fate, his future, his whole expanse and world." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke :happy:



I would eat up your words as a zen master of great restraint if i hadn't seen you taking a fly dig at someone In the edit section of your post so that it couldn't be quoted!!!!!!!
I belive everyone has their moments.


----------



## Shosh

mossystate said:


> LillyBBBW said:
> 
> 
> 
> I am afraid that whatever I say is going to be seen as me thinking I am some godlike creature...but, no..jebus..no..lol. I think that with me, I am more larger than life with the humor attached to my zeroing in on people. If I were more ' academic ' about things, I would not be all that much different. I know many have said that I know how to get, quickly, to the guts of a situation. That is more noticeable. I could change the way I go at it, and I would then be seen as less of a ' bully '. It would not change what is being said. It would be like holding a tea cup, pinky out, saying things in a more clever manner. I could bring up quotes from long dead poets. I could say in 3 paragraphs, what can be said in one.
> 
> 
> 
> Again, if someone, for example, is creepy with how they are approaching, let's say, a woman, I do not see the issue with saying that is creepy behavior. As for me being called creepy...I would just add it to the 40 names I have been called out here. I truly...honestly...consider the source, and I also step back and analyze the situation... I do.
> 
> 
> 
> But, when you see an asshole, some might say the person is not one. You might go back and read your notes, and still come up with a, " no, they are an asshole ".
> 
> 
> 
> If your friend is always direct, then I bet he has done a lot of that out here, and is not moderated..? I can't possibly comment on this scenario, as it does not ring a bell. And it does matter, to remember, because maybe he did cross a line ' we ' didn't. Not saying he did, and if the mods were not spanking us for the same thing he was doing, then talk to them. I have been warned. I have been infracted. I am really not a darling of the mods. *L* And, I think it might be a good example of my being more ' amusing ' with my shit. Some are a little jealous of that...not you, but, there are things, other than a bunch of saints not liking sinners like me, that come into play in terms of how any of us view other people, and how they get on our motherloving nerves.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Amusing? More like belligerent.
> 
> You believe your getting to the heart of the matter so quickly is gospel truth. It is just YOUR opinion, it is not absolute truth about another. You cannot seem to get that.
> People are jealous of you? Hardly. It is more that you cannot stand to see others interacting with each other in a happy and positive way.
> 
> You have your anonymous supporters that bolster your rep count, and pat you on the back. I am not overly concerned with my rep count.
> I am out living my life, and interacting with people in the real world, and making my mark there.
> 
> 
> I do not know why I bother. It is not worth it.
Click to expand...


----------



## D_A_Bunny

exile in thighville said:


> and if it wasn't assumed common that many members would think various symptoms of the supersized were stomach-turning, what would the need be for a private board?



You really need to let this go. And you were so close to getting a key to the secret garden.


----------



## TraciJo67

Susannah said:


> mossystate said:
> 
> 
> 
> Amusing? More like belligerent.
> 
> You believe your getting to the heart of the matter so quickly is gospel truth. It is just YOUR opinion, it is not absolute truth about another. You cannot seem to get that.
> People are jealous of you? Hardly. It is more that you cannot stand to see others interacting with each other in a happy and positive way.
> 
> You have your anonymous supporters that bolster your rep count, and pat you on the back. I am not overly concerned with my rep count.
> I am out living my life, and interacting with people in the real world, and making my mark there.
> 
> 
> I do not know why I bother. It is not worth it.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Translation: You have a life, and Mossy doesn't. Nice, generous observation there.
> 
> Actual Translation: Mossy doesn't like you, has called you on some of your BS, has never really warmed up to you, and so she's by default a bully. No, Susannah. She just doesn't like you, never has, and never will. What you don't seem to 'get' is that this doesn't in any way diminish *you*. You choose to let it get to you, and eat away at you, and in the process you've made yourself seem petty and ridiculous, at least to me.
> 
> I am beginning to think that this whole 'REP' system just needs to go. Contrary to what a lot of people have said, I actually think that it *does* make some of us bitter and angry to see people that we don't like high up in the ranking system. Would it level the playing field if none of us knew who happened to occupy the 'most popular' slots at any given time? I think it might.
> 
> I don't believe in the REP system anyway. I'm somewhere in the Top 10 and I damn bloody well *know* that I'm not well regarded by many.
Click to expand...


----------



## Fascinita

thatgirl08 said:


> Yeah, saw that. Just surprised that she was all 'yeah I'm bully and I don't care' since I have seriously never seen a post of hers before. Like where are these mean posts? just.. interesting.



She was "speaking" rhetorically. And it's gonna be OK. All right, now. Shamm awn.

*offers you a glass of Chablis and a chill pill... tussles your hair*


----------



## fatgirlflyin

D_A_Bunny said:


> You really need to let this go. And you were so close to getting a key to the secret garden.



He was actually making a really good point. That is the reason for the private SSBBW board.


----------



## Shosh

Here comes the Cavalry. Like I said, it is like clockwork.


----------



## Surlysomething

TraciJo67 said:


> I agree with this, and I wish that I hadn't brought it up. She didn't make the comments publicly. Someone betrayed her trust. I can readily imagine myself in the same position, as I say things in PM that would never (hopefully) see the light of day on this message board. It happened, it's over, she stayed and from what I've seen, she's more than redeemed herself. Many times over, people (including myself) have thrown it in her face and for a very long time, she didn't comment at all. She just moved on. We all have issues with others that, if splashed on the message board, would make us appear petty and shallow and not very damn 'accepting' at all.



This is always how I felt with the whole canklegate issue. Anything said was null and void as soon as LoveBHMS trust was violated. Why the person that outed her private message wasn't banned i'll never know. It if was me moderating that back then, the person who outed the pm would have been gone for a lifetime.


----------



## mossystate

" _Amusing? More like belligerent.

You believe your getting to the heart of the matter so quickly is gospel truth. It is just YOUR opinion, it is not absolute truth about another. You cannot seem to get that.
People are jealous of you? Hardly. It is more that you cannot stand to see others interacting with each other in a happy and positive way.

You have your anonymous supporters that bolster your rep count, and pat you on the back. I am not overly concerned with my rep count. 
I am out living my life, and interacting with people in the real world, and making my mark there.


I do not know why I bother. It is not worth it._ "

Well, you have been on my ignore list since last October...give or take...but, I saw this.

Susannah, you really have to let go of this bitterness. I do not even engage you anymore. Of course they are my opinions. Your opinions are yours, and I bet you are please as punch by them, or at least I hope you are proud of what you say, for the most part, as that is the only thing any of us can do, or hope for. I guess when you say something about another, it is never true. What that must do to your brain, thinking you said something that you believed, but finding out it is not the case.

Anonymous supporter who bolster my rep count? Ummmmm, yes, rep comments are private. If you have an issue with that, take it up with Conrad. Or are you making it seem that the only ' support ' I get out here is from people who would not be caught dead enaging me in actual thread, on actual forums? You might be shocked at the variety I get passing my way. Since you obviously only zoom in on what you so despise about me, you don't see that more than a few people think I am pretty nice, and the feeling is mutual. Enjoy those you like. Getting so worked up about my rep count, is taking away real joy you could be sharing with friends.

My life. Hmmmmm. Well, I will say that things did get a little off-track after the mother I cared for, died. But, what was temp derailed is such superficial stuff, in the scheme of things. If my post count indicates that I do not relate to people in the real world, then there are others you have just thrown under the same bus. There are people you have just slapped, who are at home, for whatever reasons. I sure hope you are not saying that they are not worthwhile members of society. I seem to remember you not liking being labelled that way. I am a work in progress, but I am for the most part, where it matters, really happy I am who I am. I hope one day you can get there.

Now, I truly won't see any comment from you, unless you have been quoted.


----------



## Surlysomething

exile in thighville said:


> she didn't put it out there. this board took it upon themselves to indict someone for a private conversation. she has every right to think whatever she wants is disgusting, and believe me, she's hardly the only one who's done this. you have no idea how many times i've heard a sentence from an actual fatty involving the phrase "I'M FINE WITH BEING BIG BUT WHEN YOU'RE TOO BIG TO __..." one of the mods here is a proud and flaming homophobe and she's allowed to moderate. what's her reason for being a board that supports lgbt? these are not mutually exclusive traits.
> 
> and if it wasn't assumed common that many members would think various symptoms of the supersized were stomach-turning, what would the need be for a private board? i don't mind people thinking whatever they want about lovebhms - who fellates her foot on a regular basis and caused one of my favorite people in the world to leave the board - but how that situation was handled was beyond shameful, as is the witch hunt that occurred for awhile for people ON A FAT ACCEPTANCE BOARD who are just here to spy for the russians. sometimes there are no wheels within wheels.




wow, I can't believe I agree with most everything you said here

I need to go scrub myself with steel wool


----------



## joswitch

this was a good article Exile... now that's some hella trolling there...
Interesting that these fellas who've done some appalling stuff - by their own admission - actually allowed their pictures to be taken! hmmm...
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/magazine/03trolls-t.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all
.....
Apropos of nothing... anyone seen Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back? *cough* *whistles innocently* 
.....

And Mergirl! I know what you said! lol!  ;P
Having been born & rasied bang in the geographic centre of the UK I can understand pretty much everyone... except maybe the thickest 'weegie or west country accents...

That DIMS has a "scandal" with the actual name - !Canklegate!
Made me laugh at first... but now I'm just a bit gobsmacked! 

On Topic - Yep, as Tau said this is a forum for grown ups soooo y'know hopefully most peeps have a certain thickness of skin... On the other hand as SocialbFly said DIMS is meant to be a "safe place" for big folks and their admirers..

I've been around DIMS for over 10 years (originally as Fidgreen) from waaaay back in the day when the boards were very, very different both in format, style and content...
And yeah, the rate of "smackdown" on here really has gone way up IMO....

I think to an extent that reflects the evolving function of DIMS...
Where acceptance, support and dealing with social *issues* have really begun to be a big part of things here.... But those aspects may have been here strongly all along and I didn't notice, cos I wasn't actively concerned with those things back then....

I think the "splitting-up" of the board into sections does let people pick and chose their experience, which is great... If for instance your were offended by or opposed to on philosophical / social political grounds say nekkid pics or feeederism... then you are able to not go to those sections and instead visit others....
I do notice some folks who seem to like to go to areas that are specifically for one thing, and then get all offended and mad about that very thing!... seems a bit daft to me.... 0_o

I gotta say that when I really started taking part/posting on here a few months back I did expect to get waaaaaay more flames.... Even in recent discussion over in the "FAs shallow?" thread where I _expected_ my use of a *certain analogy* to describe my feelings would get me nuked from orbit, actually what I got was only ONE flame and otherwise what I thought was a really productive discussion...  which makes one of several I've had on here... 

It has to be said that I am kinda used to opening up and putting my feelings "out there" to be seen (and maybe trampled on) by one and all - being as I'm a songwriter / performance poet... and so I'm used to RL assholery directed at me at times when I make myself most open and vulnerable*... and I'm more than happy to assert myself... so maybe I'm not available to potential bullies as a victim...

/rambling thoughts

(* classic instance - on stage early in my solo "career", in the middle of a moody song... drunk invades the stage grabs the mic - "CAN'T YOU PLAY SOMETHING MORE CHEERFUL?")


----------



## TraciJo67

Susannah said:


> Here comes the Cavalry. Like I said, it is like clockwork.



Nice comeback. This is what you have in your repartee? 

Yes, I like Mossy. I always have. Until recently, I liked you very much too. We may have disagreed about certain issues, but we managed to have a very friendly PM relationship, and I really enjoyed talking to you. What turned me off was seeing the constant underhanded digs that you peppered all over the message board, directed at Monique but of course not naming her specifically. Once or twice, OK. You're angry. Maybe hurt, even. But it became a near constant thing with you. You cannot let it go, whatever it is that happened in the past -- and frankly, I don't even remember what that was and I doubt that many other people do. I told you this very same thing in a PM, months ago.

I am not her mouthpiece, and clearly, you know this. I have a mind of my own. I am capable of formulating an opinion, whether you feel that it's an informed one or not. 

It is very easy to dismiss feedback that you don't wish to hear, and to simply write it off as "the cavalry" galloping in. What would it mean if you actually absorbed it and truly questioned its validity? Would you be a "bad" person if you just .... freaking .... _acknowledged_ that you've behaved badly yourself?


----------



## wrestlingguy

Having come & gone on several occasions over the past 12+ years, there are things that I have noticed in both participating on the boards, and as a reader during my lurking time.

First, this is a tough place. Other forums that discuss fat sexuality, fat acceptance, fat porn, all of them on different occasions have described this community as tough. Anyone who has ventured from here has seen it, and those who come here from other forums feel it. Some of us wear the toughness like a badge of honor.

That toughness, in some cases, can be perceived as bullying. Several respondents here have acknowledged that toughness, and even admitted in some cases they need to win every argument here. I will admit to doing so as well.

We judge people here by the few sentences we get to read from them. We judge. Do we feel we should be judged by a few sentences we utter here?

Several weeks ago, I received a warning, and was reported to the mods for making several comments that appeared to be racist, and they were made to a person of color. My intent was not to be racist at all, some statements made to my wife several weeks before his postings here, and seeing his private comments to her, and then his postings on the board, I made the interaction between us very personal. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not racist to any degree. I just needed to get under this guy's skin, and I succeeded, but not without getting away with at the very least a warning that Conrad doesn't tolerate racism in Dimensions. 

Point being made here is that we are all multi faceted individuals. This corner of our world is not what our entire life is made up of (at least I hope not). 

So Mossystate has been accused of being a bully.......OK, so that is one facet of how some may see her. So, recently, I confided a private matter to her, with the result being an extremely compassionate answer from her. Did it surprise me, based on our previous board interaction? I think my answer has to be I don't know, since other than what she says on the boards, I know little about her. I do know that I appreciated what she said privately to me in response, and I know that friendships, no matter how loosely that term is construed, are based on understanding who that person is, and how they arrive at their conclusions about things. Also, an appreciation of their humanness helps as well.

The same thing can be said of others I've disagreed with in the past, whether it was TraciJo, or LoveBHMS, or William, or T-Devil or Uncanny Bruceman. I've never felt bullied, despite hearing that others felt bullied by some of the names that I've mentioned.

I'm not saying that we need to agree here on everything, I'm not even saying we need to be cordial, but when someone utters a comment that seems so foreign to how you may think, don't you want to at least look at how they came to that conclusion before setting your turrets on them?

Maybe we need another forum.......YES, another one, where we can actually talk about who we are, our lives, what we do, what makes us tick, and no, I don't mean Hyde Park. Maybe if we really got to know all of us a little better........

One of the advantages of running the New Jersey Bash is that we've been a catalyst for bringing together people from many different forums besides Dimensions. I enjoy interacting with everyone whether they are from Fantasy Feeder (even though I don't share the views of most feeders), The Fat Forums (mostly a porn related site), BBW Chat Zone, Curvage, Thick BBW Forums, and the rest. I try to see what we all have in common (besides fat, and whatever goes along with that), rather than looking at what separates us. Doing this for the past few years has helped change my outlook, and I wish all of you could get to these types of events to feel the real sense of community that I have the opportunity to be part of.

I will always be grateful to my bash partner Bernadette (bigsexy920) for helping to change my outlook on things. I've been a dick and a bully on these forums in the past. I've learned to temper my comments, and save my thoughts for when I can have face to face dialogue with people, when it can really count.


----------



## D_A_Bunny

fatgirlflyin said:


> He was actually making a really good point. That is the reason for the private SSBBW board.



Firstly, I believe that the reason stated for privacy was that the fear was, not that the topics discussed would be "stomach turning", but rather possible fap material.

Secondly, the reason that I posted this message _to him_ was that there have been many topics and conversations on this board that have *absolutely nothing to do with the private SS forum* and he always brings the subject up.


----------



## mergirl

Surlysomething said:


> wow, I can't believe I agree with most everything you said here
> 
> I need to go scrub myself with steel wool



yeah..i have to spread my rep around before i give it to him again. See, i can't be seen to agree with him in public!!


----------



## tonynyc

TraciJo67 said:


> I think that the phrase you're probably looking for is "I _couldn't_ care less", Tony. And, stellar comeback! Lots of information, lots of motivation for me to acknowledge your viewpoint (being that you've fleshed it out so well, that is) and to perhaps work on redressing any issues that you may have with me
> 
> 
> 
> FWIW, I don't think we've said more than a few words to each other in the years that I've been at Dims. I honestly haven't a clue what has you so angry at me, that you'd all but scream, full caps, that I'm a FEMALE BITCH (DOG) with opinions that have as much worth as a puddle of piss. I don't know you, and have never identified you as a person that I've had any problems with. I'd actually like to know why you're so hostile. Here, or PM, if you're willing.



Darn shame too and you worked so hard with that detailed response- a masterpiece.  
Well I just felt that a nice short remark was in order - after all you wanted the gloves off. No sense giving a Doctoral Dissertation. 

In the final analysis, I'm sure whether the remark was subtle or not didn't cause you any restless night of sleep? I'm sure you had a great night sleep. I did. Now you have to admit - that is an awfully cute pooch.

Now the Pooch could have easily been a Male Dog with opinions as much worth as a Puddle of Piss...

I have no Hostilities with anyone.If anything I can be extremely Blunt and or Sarcastic. I can also give a heartfelt response when the moment calls for it.

I've had my difference of opinions with others Dimmers in the past- we've had a respectful exchange of points when it reached the level of having a personal dialogue. I have no problems with that. I'll also extend the invitation to you, Feel free to PM me anytime.


----------



## Miss Vickie

Surlysomething said:


> This is always how I felt with the whole canklegate issue. Anything said was null and void as soon as LoveBHMS trust was violated. Why the person that outed her private message wasn't banned i'll never know. It if was me moderating that back then, the person who outed the pm would have been gone for a lifetime.



It's definitely a tough issue. On the one hand, I would never be the person to tell those who were hurt to "get over it". What LoveBHM's said was really hurtful, and those who were hurt have every right to feel that way, and their anger and hurt will take what time it takes to heal, if ever. Dimensions, of ALL places, should be a safe people for fat people to be fat and so that makes the comments that much worse. 

That being said, I'm not sure it's fair to let such comments color the non-fat-ankle related things that LoveBHM's has said. While she clearly doesn't like cankles (her choice, obviously!) that doesn't mean that she's a bad person who has nothing of value to provide. Every single one of us has said hurtful things. Most of us are just lucky that those things haven't seen the light of day. For whatever reason she's still a member of this community and that gives her the same right to speak that we ahve.

Don't misjudge me: I'm not in any way saying what she said wasn't cruel or mean. I'm just saying that we've all said things we shouldn't have, and I'm willing to believe that she regrets what she said and wants to be a positive member of this community. Each of us must decide what's best for our own peace of mind in terms of responding to her.

But this thread really isn't (or shouldn't be) about her. I don't think she could be perceived as a bully, at least not how I define the term.


----------



## SocialbFly

Susannah said:


> I do not know why I bother. It is not worth it.



Shoshie, you know i like you, we have spoken several times irl...but i have to ask, if it wasnt worth it, why do you have 8000+ posts?

Lets try to keep things in perspective.

Lovebhms, i had a knee jerk reaction to your comment...what you feel is what you feel, i just really resent having to think about that comment at all. Honestly.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

D_A_Bunny said:


> Firstly, I believe that the reason stated for privacy was that the fear was, not that the topics discussed would be "stomach turning", but rather possible fap material.



One of the reasons, not the only reason, and it was definitely the reason that there was a size limit imposed on the forum...



D_A_Bunny said:


> Secondly, the reason that I posted this message _to him_ was that there have been many topics and conversations on this board that have *absolutely nothing to do with the private SS forum* and he always brings the subject up.



You may have posted the question to _him_ but it was posted out in the _open_ so if you didn't want anyone else to comment on your comment then maybe you should have PMed it?


----------



## Tina

This is the best post in the thread, IMO. I'm quoting it all, because I don't think it should go unread. No one is perfect, but I very much appreciate, and respect, people who can be honest about themselves and their mistakes. No one's hands are clean in any of the goings on and we have all made mistakes, all needed forgiveness, and have all needed to forgive.

Thank you for a stellar, well-said post, Phil. :wubu:



wrestlingguy said:


> Having come & gone on several occasions over the past 12+ years, there are things that I have noticed in both participating on the boards, and as a reader during my lurking time.
> 
> First, this is a tough place. Other forums that discuss fat sexuality, fat acceptance, fat porn, all of them on different occasions have described this community as tough. Anyone who has ventured from here has seen it, and those who come here from other forums feel it. Some of us wear the toughness like a badge of honor.
> 
> That toughness, in some cases, can be perceived as bullying. Several respondents here have acknowledged that toughness, and even admitted in some cases they need to win every argument here. I will admit to doing so as well.
> 
> We judge people here by the few sentences we get to read from them. We judge. Do we feel we should be judged by a few sentences we utter here?
> 
> Several weeks ago, I received a warning, and was reported to the mods for making several comments that appeared to be racist, and they were made to a person of color. My intent was not to be racist at all, some statements made to my wife several weeks before his postings here, and seeing his private comments to her, and then his postings on the board, I made the interaction between us very personal. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not racist to any degree. I just needed to get under this guy's skin, and I succeeded, but not without getting away with at the very least a warning that Conrad doesn't tolerate racism in Dimensions.
> 
> Point being made here is that we are all multi faceted individuals. This corner of our world is not what our entire life is made up of (at least I hope not).
> 
> So Mossystate has been accused of being a bully.......OK, so that is one facet of how some may see her. So, recently, I confided a private matter to her, with the result being an extremely compassionate answer from her. Did it surprise me, based on our previous board interaction? I think my answer has to be I don't know, since other than what she says on the boards, I know little about her. I do know that I appreciated what she said privately to me in response, and I know that friendships, no matter how loosely that term is construed, are based on understanding who that person is, and how they arrive at their conclusions about things. Also, an appreciation of their humanness helps as well.
> 
> The same thing can be said of others I've disagreed with in the past, whether it was TraciJo, or LoveBHMS, or William, or T-Devil or Uncanny Bruceman. I've never felt bullied, despite hearing that others felt bullied by some of the names that I've mentioned.
> 
> I'm not saying that we need to agree here on everything, I'm not even saying we need to be cordial, but when someone utters a comment that seems so foreign to how you may think, don't you want to at least look at how they came to that conclusion before setting your turrets on them?
> 
> Maybe we need another forum.......YES, another one, where we can actually talk about who we are, our lives, what we do, what makes us tick, and no, I don't mean Hyde Park. Maybe if we really got to know all of us a little better........
> 
> One of the advantages of running the New Jersey Bash is that we've been a catalyst for bringing together people from many different forums besides Dimensions. I enjoy interacting with everyone whether they are from Fantasy Feeder (even though I don't share the views of most feeders), The Fat Forums (mostly a porn related site), BBW Chat Zone, Curvage, Thick BBW Forums, and the rest. I try to see what we all have in common (besides fat, and whatever goes along with that), rather than looking at what separates us. Doing this for the past few years has helped change my outlook, and I wish all of you could get to these types of events to feel the real sense of community that I have the opportunity to be part of.
> 
> I will always be grateful to my bash partner Bernadette (bigsexy920) for helping to change my outlook on things. I've been a dick and a bully on these forums in the past. I've learned to temper my comments, and save my thoughts for when I can have face to face dialogue with people, when it can really count.


----------



## D_A_Bunny

fatgirlflyin said:


> You may have posted the question to _him_ but it was posted out in the _open_ so if you didn't want anyone else to comment on your comment then maybe you should have PMed it?



Actually, I didn't post a question. And the reason I did not do it via PM, is that I did want my message to him to be seen because that is my opinion of what he said.

I suppose that if you did indeed think that what he said was making a good point, then you could have quoted his original post and told HIM that he was making a good point. Instead you quoted my post and told ME that you thought he was making a good point.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

D_A_Bunny said:


> Actually, I didn't post a question. And the reason I did not do it via PM, is that I did want my message to him to be seen because that is my opinion of what he said.
> 
> I suppose that if you did indeed think that what he said was making a good point, then you could have quoted his original post and told HIM that he was making a good point. Instead you quoted my post and told ME that you thought he was making a good point.



This is why its called a discussion board. I disagreed with your comment, so I responded to your comment. 

That and I think that if I actually told Dan I agreed with anything he said I'd have to wash my mouth out with soap...


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

After reading all the posts here I have one thing to say. If at any time anyone felt bullied by me, I sincerely apologize. Having been bullied as a child and an adult, I understand how it feels.


----------



## Ernest Nagel

mergirl said:


> I would eat up your words as a zen master of great restraint if i hadn't seen you taking a fly dig at someone In the edit section of your post so that it couldn't be quoted!!!!!!!
> I belive everyone has their moments.



Ah, I see! A vague allusion to some perceived offense that I can't address because I have no idea what you're talking about invalidates anything I have to say from that point on. Guess maybe we should all just stop talking then? I've made no pretense of righteousness or innocence. I never claimed to be guiltless but if you check my post history I'd wager I have no more snarky posts than average. It seems what you really believe is that everyone's worst moments should always be dredged up and flung in their face when you disagree with or simply don't like them. I see that a lot but it's kind of ironic, coming from you just now, innit? 

BTW, rubbing someone's nose in their messes works best when the mess is fresh. The farther back you have to go to shame someone the more petty it makes you look. I don't recall ever having used edit to dig someone? Not saying it couldn't happen but I'm guessing it's been awhile? If you can't be specific it also makes your assertion less credible. As I've made clear I hate half-assed efforts. If you can't take the time to slam me properly please spare the effort. Thanks! 

Always feels wrong hitting a girl back but WTF, it's only teh interwebs, right?


----------



## Shosh

SocialbFly said:


> Shoshie, you know i like you, we have spoken several times irl...but i have to ask, if it wasnt worth it, why do you have 8000+ posts?
> 
> Lets try to keep things in perspective.
> 
> Lovebhms, i had a knee jerk reaction to your comment...what you feel is what you feel, i just really resent having to think about that comment at all. Honestly.



Yes but it is not 8000 posts of being nasty to people and falsely attacking their character now is it. I have contributed much postivity also.

Maybe we should keep that in perspective.


----------



## LillyBBBW

mossystate said:


> I am afraid that whatever I say is going to be seen as me thinking I am some godlike creature...but, no..jebus..no..lol. I think that with me, I am more larger than life with the humor attached to my zeroing in on people. If I were more ' academic ' about things, I would not be all that much different. I know many have said that I know how to get, quickly, to the guts of a situation. That is more noticeable. I could change the way I go at it, and I would then be seen as less of a ' bully '. It would not change what is being said. It would be like holding a tea cup, pinky out, saying things in a more clever manner. I could bring up quotes from long dead poets. I could say in 3 paragraphs, what can be said in one.
> 
> 
> 
> Again, if someone, for example, is creepy with how they are approaching, let's say, a woman, I do not see the issue with saying that is creepy behavior. As for me being called creepy...I would just add it to the 40 names I have been called out here. I truly...honestly...consider the source, and I also step back and analyze the situation... I do.
> 
> 
> 
> But, when you see an asshole, some might say the person is not one. You might go back and read your notes, and still come up with a, " no, they are an asshole ".
> 
> 
> 
> If your friend is always direct, then I bet he has done a lot of that out here, and is not moderated..? I can't possibly comment on this scenario, as it does not ring a bell. And it does matter, to remember, because maybe he did cross a line ' we ' didn't. Not saying he did, and if the mods were not spanking us for the same thing he was doing, then talk to them. I have been warned. I have been infracted. I am really not a darling of the mods. *L* And, I think it might be a good example of my being more ' amusing ' with my shit. Some are a little jealous of that...not you, but, there are things, other than a bunch of saints not liking sinners like me, that come into play in terms of how any of us view other people, and how they get on our motherloving nerves.



There seems to be a lot of animosity expressed in this thread. I just want to make clear that there is no animosity intended at all in my mosts. As I've said before I'm just attempting to enter in to a more productive dialogue though I admit I've been reluctant to do so. I feel like any attempt to touch this topic is like tickling a tiger in the butt with a feather no matter how light handed I try to be with it. Especially with so much going on in here at the same time. I'm forging on though since the proverbial can has already been opened.

I like meeting people face to face. Love it actually and jump at the chance of doing so if I have the funds. Many of the people here are people that I have met face to face. I tend to reserve my more blatant criticisms for people that I know are more than capable of returning fire, either through personal contact or through regular dealings here. So I've no doubt you've seen me call someone a douchebag here. Most of these people are people I know already, or through a series of neutral explorative debate the benefit of the doubt can be completely removed.

In previous times I've gone all out to yell it like it is with people without holding back. After meeting them face to face however, 9 times out of 10 I was deeply remourseful of the interaction for one reason or another. It would take too long for me to explain why in each and every case but it has left an impression on me. Many of us here have experienced the same thing when it comes to interactions online and then face to face meetings. The sense of regret goes beyond just seeing them in person and being friendly with them or possibly more intimidated than online. In many cases they were not nice people at all but there were other 'nuances' that made it clear I was attacking someone where the playing field was simply not level. I felt like a heel. Must we all be nursery school attendents here and hold every sleezebag's hand? No, I'm merely trying to shed some light on the reason why people find the both barrels approach to be excessive when used off the bat, especially on a board where understanding and acceptance are supposed to be the themes. I saw missed opportunities in those face to face encounters and that bothered me. It's why many of us tend to be more cautious before beating them up.



wrestlingguy said:


> Having come & gone on several occasions over the past 12+ years, there are things that I have noticed in both participating on the boards, and as a reader during my lurking time.
> 
> First, this is a tough place. Other forums that discuss fat sexuality, fat acceptance, fat porn, all of them on different occasions have described this community as tough. Anyone who has ventured from here has seen it, and those who come here from other forums feel it. Some of us wear the toughness like a badge of honor.
> 
> That toughness, in some cases, can be perceived as bullying. Several respondents here have acknowledged that toughness, and even admitted in some cases they need to win every argument here. I will admit to doing so as well.
> 
> We judge people here by the few sentences we get to read from them. We judge. Do we feel we should be judged by a few sentences we utter here?
> 
> Several weeks ago, I received a warning, and was reported to the mods for making several comments that appeared to be racist, and they were made to a person of color. My intent was not to be racist at all, some statements made to my wife several weeks before his postings here, and seeing his private comments to her, and then his postings on the board, I made the interaction between us very personal. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not racist to any degree. I just needed to get under this guy's skin, and I succeeded, but not without getting away with at the very least a warning that Conrad doesn't tolerate racism in Dimensions.
> 
> Point being made here is that we are all multi faceted individuals. This corner of our world is not what our entire life is made up of (at least I hope not).
> 
> So Mossystate has been accused of being a bully.......OK, so that is one facet of how some may see her. So, recently, I confided a private matter to her, with the result being an extremely compassionate answer from her. Did it surprise me, based on our previous board interaction? I think my answer has to be I don't know, since other than what she says on the boards, I know little about her. I do know that I appreciated what she said privately to me in response, and I know that friendships, no matter how loosely that term is construed, are based on understanding who that person is, and how they arrive at their conclusions about things. Also, an appreciation of their humanness helps as well.
> 
> The same thing can be said of others I've disagreed with in the past, whether it was TraciJo, or LoveBHMS, or William, or T-Devil or Uncanny Bruceman. I've never felt bullied, despite hearing that others felt bullied by some of the names that I've mentioned.
> 
> *I'm not saying that we need to agree here on everything, I'm not even saying we need to be cordial, but when someone utters a comment that seems so foreign to how you may think, don't you want to at least look at how they came to that conclusion before setting your turrets on them?*
> 
> Maybe we need another forum.......YES, another one, where we can actually talk about who we are, our lives, what we do, what makes us tick, and no, I don't mean Hyde Park. Maybe if we really got to know all of us a little better........
> 
> One of the advantages of running the New Jersey Bash is that we've been a catalyst for bringing together people from many different forums besides Dimensions. I enjoy interacting with everyone whether they are from Fantasy Feeder (even though I don't share the views of most feeders), The Fat Forums (mostly a porn related site), BBW Chat Zone, Curvage, Thick BBW Forums, and the rest. I try to see what we all have in common (besides fat, and whatever goes along with that), rather than looking at what separates us. Doing this for the past few years has helped change my outlook, and I wish all of you could get to these types of events to feel the real sense of community that I have the opportunity to be part of.
> 
> I will always be grateful to my bash partner Bernadette (bigsexy920) for helping to change my outlook on things. I've been a dick and a bully on these forums in the past. I've learned to temper my comments, and save my thoughts for when I can have face to face dialogue with people, when it can really count.



THIS!


----------



## SocialbFly

Susannah said:


> Yes but it is not 8000 posts of being nasty to people and falsely attacking their character now is it. I have contributed much postivity also.
> 
> Maybe we should keep that in perspective.



OHHH Sassy!!! Yes, i agree, positiveness is the key, but i know i personally respond here less positively when my life is sucking eggs...i know my life lately has been trying, and due to that, i sometimes dont respond with the most positive of replies....

we could all do with a little empathy...it isnt just a word in the dictionary...at least, for most of us.


----------



## exile in thighville

D_A_Bunny said:


> Firstly, I believe that the reason stated for privacy was that the fear was, not that the topics discussed would be "stomach turning", but rather possible fap material.



really? this is worse? i really doubt the chief motivating fear here is arousal over disgust. i brought it up because lovebhms exemplifies a probable number of people here who support the cause but Don't Want to Know that Stuff. they like sausages but don't want to know how the meat grinder works.


----------



## mossystate

Everybody with lots of posts has contributed in positive...many positive ...ways

Ugh.

Scene.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

exile in thighville said:


> to this day i have no fucking idea what it means when mossystate says *L*





fatgirlflyin said:


> I am pretty sure it means laughing?





thatgirl08 said:


> I've been wondering this lately.






furious styles said:


> i always thought it was a face? like the asterisks were eyes and the L was the nose .. kind of a @[email protected] in different terms.





kayrae said:


> yeah.. i thought it meant she was starry-eyed.





thatgirl08 said:


> No I really do think it means she's laughing.



And................she still hasn't told us. :doh:

She posts it on the boards, in my blog....and I think she's even posted it to me in PM. I never really thought too deeply of it....as in it's something you recognize her for....just like my big fairy sig in all my posts. Except Monique isn't the attention and fairy loving whore I am.....so she uses *L* instead. 

^*^ <------------That's a bat

*!* <-------------that's a fairy



Mini said:


> Also, you don't have to post to view the Paysite board.



I just fell in love with you all over :wubu:

I suppose this makes me your minion- call me froggie 



LillyBBBW said:


> Anyone else who's been calling me a bully can continue to do so, I haven't caught on yet.



I just call you The Bomb myself- thought you should know  :bow:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

mossystate said:


> Everybody with lots of posts has contributed in positive...many positive ...ways
> 
> Ugh.
> 
> Scene.



Stop bullying the post whores, will ya? :blush: :doh:


----------



## Fascinita

When Moniques goes "*L*", I feel she's staring directly into mine own eyes. :smitten:


----------



## Miss Vickie

SocialbFly said:


> we could all do with a little empathy...it isnt just a word in the dictionary...at least, for most of us.



((((Di)))) Seeing what we see, sometimes it's hard to be positive, something I'm dealing with right now. One of my patients who I've cared for for almost an entire month is going through a particularly rough time -- and it's just so not fair.  All I can do is give her hugs and treats and crafts and books to keep her mind and hands occupied, but the reality is that her baby will most likely not survive, and if by some miracle it does, it will have enormous disabilities. It's such a sad thing to see this girl who should be out shopping at malls and going to movies, instead facing the very probable loss of a baby. Taking care of her is a huge drain on me, because as sweet as she is, there is still the emotional toll of the situation. On her, and those of us who are caring for her. Every week seems to make it worse and yes, some of that carries into my personal life, including Dimensions. Watching someone go through this makes it really hard for me to get excited about some of the drama that we manufacture here, in order to get attention or support.

As Mossything says, we all contribute in positive ways. But I think that we all deserve a little -- or a _lot_ -- more empathy from one another. Nobody corners the market on suffering, not those of us who have lots loved ones, or have debilitating diseases, or who suffer in countless other ways, sometimes publicly but often privately. We all hurt sometimes, and we all should try to be kinder to one another.


----------



## mossystate

Vickie, my mentioning my Mom was not me doing anything than what I did. I would never use her that way. I have never used her death as a way to silence others. Pain, when it is always being used as an excuse, is not a good thing. Even people that I do not like, if they are going through major things, I can feel for their suffering, and not wish it on them... at the same time I do not excuse a ton of tomfoolery ( new fun term ). I know I am probably not making sense, I just felt a need to say that, as my name was mentioned in your post, and I did say what I did about my Mom.


----------



## Mathias

I honestly don't see this thread as anything more than a free for all for all for people to get out pot shots at those who they dislike. I mean seriously, does the ignore feature not cut it around here anymore. Yes, there have been posters here that get on my nerves but once I discovered the ignore feature, I took full advantage and never looked back. If someone's being a bully, just report it to a mod privately and not turn it into some long drawn out drama fest.


----------



## Surlysomething

Miss Vickie said:


> It's definitely a tough issue. On the one hand, I would never be the person to tell those who were hurt to "get over it". What LoveBHM's said was really hurtful, and those who were hurt have every right to feel that way, and their anger and hurt will take what time it takes to heal, if ever. Dimensions, of ALL places, should be a safe people for fat people to be fat and so that makes the comments that much worse.
> 
> That being said, I'm not sure it's fair to let such comments color the non-fat-ankle related things that LoveBHM's has said. While she clearly doesn't like cankles (her choice, obviously!) that doesn't mean that she's a bad person who has nothing of value to provide. Every single one of us has said hurtful things. Most of us are just lucky that those things haven't seen the light of day. For whatever reason she's still a member of this community and that gives her the same right to speak that we ahve.
> 
> Don't misjudge me: I'm not in any way saying what she said wasn't cruel or mean. I'm just saying that we've all said things we shouldn't have, and I'm willing to believe that she regrets what she said and wants to be a positive member of this community. Each of us must decide what's best for our own peace of mind in terms of responding to her.
> 
> But this thread really isn't (or shouldn't be) about her. I don't think she could be perceived as a bully, at least not how I define the term.




But what LoveBHMS said _shouldn't have seen the light of day_. There are lots of things that go around in my head that shouldn't be said outright because at the moment they're mean spirited or downright nasty. 

Just because this is a Fat Acceptance site doesn't mean that each and every person on here agrees on everything regarding it. I had someone out a personal message to me and I ripped him a new one. If people want to play fair.. private should always remain private.

I hate the thought of feederism, I despise the paysite board and cankles give me the fear. I feel that way for many reasons. Am I saying you can't enjoy them? Hell no. But I should be able to voice my opinion on it anytime I feel like. We're all adults.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Mathias said:


> I honestly don't see this thread as anything more than a free for all for all for people to get out pot shots at those who they dislike. I mean seriously, does the ignore feature not cut it around here anymore. Yes, there have been posters here that get on my nerves but once I discovered the ignore feature, I took full advantage and never looked back. If someone's being a bully, just report it to a mod privately and not turn it into some long drawn out drama fest.



But sometimes, not always, good can come from just allowing yourself to kick and scream and cry and get it off your chest. Then once all thats done you can go about things with a new perspective.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Mathias said:


> I honestly don't see this thread as anything more than a free for all for all for people to get out pot shots at those who they dislike. I mean seriously, does the ignore feature not cut it around here anymore. Yes, there have been posters here that get on my nerves but once I discovered the ignore feature, I took full advantage and never looked back. If someone's being a bully, just report it to a mod privately and not turn it into some long drawn out drama fest.



I would read what you wrote except I have you on ignore.....talk to the hand!


----------



## SocialbFly

Miss Vickie said:


> ((((Di)))) Seeing what we see, sometimes it's hard to be positive, something I'm dealing with right now. One of my patients who I've cared for for almost an entire month is going through a particularly rough time -- and it's just so not fair.  All I can do is give her hugs and treats and crafts and books to keep her mind and hands occupied, but the reality is that her baby will most likely not survive, and if by some miracle it does, it will have enormous disabilities. It's such a sad thing to see this girl who should be out shopping at malls and going to movies, instead facing the very probable loss of a baby. Taking care of her is a huge drain on me, because as sweet as she is, there is still the emotional toll of the situation. On her, and those of us who are caring for her. Every week seems to make it worse and yes, some of that carries into my personal life, including Dimensions. Watching someone go through this makes it really hard for me to get excited about some of the drama that we manufacture here, in order to get attention or support.
> 
> As Mossything says, we all contribute in positive ways. But I think that we all deserve a little -- or a _lot_ -- more empathy from one another. Nobody corners the market on suffering, not those of us who have lots loved ones, or have debilitating diseases, or who suffer in countless other ways, sometimes publicly but often privately. We all hurt sometimes, and we all should try to be kinder to one another.



i agree, there is so much you and i see, and truly, it does make an impact on me, i find i am so much quicker to say thank you and i am so much quicker to empathize due to what i see....our lives change in the blink of an eye, and i choose to try and remember the good  (which is sometimes damn hard)


----------



## bigsexy920

That's one great post Phil ......... and I'm not just saying that cause you mention my name. 

There is true stuff in here people ----- read it - Dont just skim it.



wrestlingguy said:


> Having come & gone on several occasions over the past 12+ years, there are things that I have noticed in both participating on the boards, and as a reader during my lurking time.
> 
> First, this is a tough place. Other forums that discuss fat sexuality, fat acceptance, fat porn, all of them on different occasions have described this community as tough. Anyone who has ventured from here has seen it, and those who come here from other forums feel it. Some of us wear the toughness like a badge of honor.
> 
> That toughness, in some cases, can be perceived as bullying. Several respondents here have acknowledged that toughness, and even admitted in some cases they need to win every argument here. I will admit to doing so as well.
> 
> We judge people here by the few sentences we get to read from them. We judge. Do we feel we should be judged by a few sentences we utter here?
> 
> Several weeks ago, I received a warning, and was reported to the mods for making several comments that appeared to be racist, and they were made to a person of color. My intent was not to be racist at all, some statements made to my wife several weeks before his postings here, and seeing his private comments to her, and then his postings on the board, I made the interaction between us very personal. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not racist to any degree. I just needed to get under this guy's skin, and I succeeded, but not without getting away with at the very least a warning that Conrad doesn't tolerate racism in Dimensions.
> 
> Point being made here is that we are all multi faceted individuals. This corner of our world is not what our entire life is made up of (at least I hope not).
> 
> So Mossystate has been accused of being a bully.......OK, so that is one facet of how some may see her. So, recently, I confided a private matter to her, with the result being an extremely compassionate answer from her. Did it surprise me, based on our previous board interaction? I think my answer has to be I don't know, since other than what she says on the boards, I know little about her. I do know that I appreciated what she said privately to me in response, and I know that friendships, no matter how loosely that term is construed, are based on understanding who that person is, and how they arrive at their conclusions about things. Also, an appreciation of their humanness helps as well.
> 
> The same thing can be said of others I've disagreed with in the past, whether it was TraciJo, or LoveBHMS, or William, or T-Devil or Uncanny Bruceman. I've never felt bullied, despite hearing that others felt bullied by some of the names that I've mentioned.
> 
> I'm not saying that we need to agree here on everything, I'm not even saying we need to be cordial, but when someone utters a comment that seems so foreign to how you may think, don't you want to at least look at how they came to that conclusion before setting your turrets on them?
> 
> Maybe we need another forum.......YES, another one, where we can actually talk about who we are, our lives, what we do, what makes us tick, and no, I don't mean Hyde Park. Maybe if we really got to know all of us a little better........
> 
> One of the advantages of running the New Jersey Bash is that we've been a catalyst for bringing together people from many different forums besides Dimensions. I enjoy interacting with everyone whether they are from Fantasy Feeder (even though I don't share the views of most feeders), The Fat Forums (mostly a porn related site), BBW Chat Zone, Curvage, Thick BBW Forums, and the rest. I try to see what we all have in common (besides fat, and whatever goes along with that), rather than looking at what separates us. Doing this for the past few years has helped change my outlook, and I wish all of you could get to these types of events to feel the real sense of community that I have the opportunity to be part of.
> 
> I will always be grateful to my bash partner Bernadette (bigsexy920) for helping to change my outlook on things. I've been a dick and a bully on these forums in the past. I've learned to temper my comments, and save my thoughts for when I can have face to face dialogue with people, when it can really count.


----------



## Mathias

fatgirlflyin said:


> But sometimes, not always, good can come from just allowing yourself to kick and scream and cry and get it off your chest. Then once all thats done you can go about things with a new perspective.



I agree with that, and I've done it myself, but bringing up specific names of posters and Canklegate just creates alot of back and forth.


----------



## mergirl

Ernest Nagel said:


> Ah, I see! A vague allusion to some perceived offense that I can't address because I have no idea what you're talking about invalidates anything I have to say from that point on. Guess maybe we should all just stop talking then? I've made no pretense of righteousness or innocence. I never claimed to be guiltless but if you check my post history I'd wager I have no more snarky posts than average. It seems what you really believe is that everyone's worst moments should always be dredged up and flung in their face when you disagree with or simply don't like them. I see that a lot but it's kind of ironic, coming from you just now, innit?
> 
> BTW, rubbing someone's nose in their messes works best when the mess is fresh. The farther back you have to go to shame someone the more petty it makes you look. I don't recall ever having used edit to dig someone? Not saying it couldn't happen but I'm guessing it's been awhile? If you can't be specific it also makes your assertion less credible. As I've made clear I hate half-assed efforts. If you can't take the time to slam me properly please spare the effort. Thanks!
> 
> Always feels wrong hitting a girl back but WTF, it's only teh interwebs,
> right?




haha.. This was his PM to me!!!!!!

"Ah, I see! A vague allusion to some perceived offense that I can't address because I have no idea what you're talking about invalidates anything I have to say from that point on. Guess maybe we should all just stop talking then? I've made no pretense of righteousness or innocence. I never claimed to be guiltless but if you check my post history I'd wager I have no more snarky posts than average. It seems what you really believe is that everyone's worst moments should always be dredged up and flung in their face when you disagree with or simply don't like them. I see that a lot but it's kind of ironic, coming from you just now, innit? 

BTW, rubbing someone's nose in their messes works best when the mess is fresh. The farther back you have to go to shame someone the more petty it makes you look. I don't recall ever having used edit to dig someone? Not saying it couldn't happen but I'm guessing whatever you're referring to has been awhile? If you can't be specific it also makes your assertion less credible. As I've made clear I hate half-assed efforts. If you can't take the time to slam me properly please spare the effort. Thanks! 

Always feels wrong hitting a girl back but WTF, it's only teh interwebs, right? 

*Incidentally, I don't dislike you and I was genuinely sorry when you were banned. Glad you're back, honestly. I usually try not to be bothered defending myself but please don't assume I can't or won't. Also, please recognize not posting this publicly as a measure of my restraint*. "

The Bold bit is what i find funny. The post i was talking about was the "Are mods homophobic thread". GD was upset when she wrote it and so mis-spelled homophobia. You then made a pretty snarky comment about that IN your edit box, so it was as if you hadn't actually said it! She made a mistake because she was emotional, so i thought that was a pretty low dig. The reason i didnt state Exactly where you posted that was because i think the thread should be burnt at the steak because it makes me angry to read it. 
Your shit was fresh. Also i have no idea what you mean by bringing up what people have said in the past??!! What like quoting them? Thank you for your restraint btw!!?? 

__________________


----------



## Fascinita

Miss Vickie said:


> ... the drama that we manufacture here, in order to get attention or support...



Vickie, I think this gets to the heart of the matter. At Dimensions in particular, we all need attention and support that as "outsiders" to the mainstream culture we may feel we've not found elsewhere--not to mention that each of us is an individual with a distinct personality or set of needs. And when we feel like the needs of others infringe on our getting our own needs met, many feel that we have to speak up and remind others that we're here, too, and deserve to be counted. The key is in how we do that speaking up, maybe.

For my part, it's always a matter of trying to find a balance between being assertive and making myself heard, and letting others do in kind. I know that I don't always find that balance, but I make it a priority to try to do so. For instance, I have my pet peeves that set me on a warpath. Those are hot-button issues that speak to stuff I care about deeply--much more than in a passing manner. I do try to temper that with fairness and an awareness that this is all just conversation, in the end. And I see most people here striving for the same, not letting themselves fall into a trap of making things entirely about their own ego, about their needs exclusively over everyone else's. So those for whom this thread has provided an opportunity to point fingers and raise accusations don't speak for me here.

If I can, without being considered precious hopefully, let me quote one of my favorite fables that illustrate what I mean:

_*A man* was rowing his boat upstream on a very misty morning. Suddenly, he saw another boat coming downstream, not trying to avoid him. It was coming straight at him. He shouted, "Be careful! Be careful!" but the boat came right into him, and his boat was almost sunk. 

The man became very angry, and began to shout at the other person, to give him a piece of his mind. But when the mist parted and he looked closely, he saw that there was no one in the other boat. 

It turned out that the boat had just got loose and gone downstream. All of the man's anger vanished, and he laughed and laughed._

In the particular tradition of wisdom that produced this story, the man in the boat is sometimes said to stand for the ego that thinks it is in charge of where the boat eventually goes. Looking closely, it's easy to see that ego actually has relatively little control over what happens in the world around us--even over what happens to us directly. Ego thinks it's entirely responsible for steering us to safety regularly, so pleased with itself that it fails to recognize the entirety of what may cause another "boat's" behavior, not to mention the way that an immensity of factors plays in the fate of ego's own "boat." Ego only wants to be in control of its world, reality be damned. 

So I think we're all like boats in a fog anytime we interact, somewhat at the mercy of forces much larger than ourselves, with ego trying to steer things and wanting passionately to get to where it wants or needs to go. But no matter how fervently my ego tries to steer me in certain directions, the fact is, there's a lot that's out of my control. In that respect, we're all in exactly the same boat (hehe). For me, that's something wroth remembering daily. If I can keep my ego in check and let it do its proper job of trying to steer me along on a raging river--of making sure that there's a place in the world for me, too--while not thinking that the ego always knows what's best (or that the ego is ALL there is about me), or that in spite of ego's best effort I'm guaranteed to get my way... maybe then I have a chance at not making a complete ass of myself.

Maybe.


----------



## tonynyc

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I would read what you wrote except I have you on ignore.....talk to the hand!




*Greenie: "The Hand" if there was ever one phrase that speaks John Cena- that was it. * 

*I'm sure you don't mind the addition- after all Cena is "Shoulders" and "Biceps" above the rest.... *








*"You Can't See Me!!!!*







.


----------



## Surlysomething

Posting pm's seriously burns my ass.


----------



## mergirl

Surlysomething said:


> Posting pm's seriously burns my ass.



But, he said EXACTLY the same thing on the thread!!!! Except for the "i'm using my restraint not posting this on the forum"!! Did you NOT read that!!!


----------



## AnnMarie

Surlysomething said:


> Posting pm's seriously burns my ass.




It's been removed.


----------



## Paquito

mergirl said:


> But, he said EXACTLY the same thing on the thread!!!! Except for the "i'm using my restraint not posting this on the forum"!! Did you NOT read that!!!



Mer, if you tell anyone to fuck off, I'm going to be severely upset, got it?

You _just_ got back love, I'm still healing over here! :kiss2:


----------



## mergirl

AnnMarie said:


> And it's been removed. It's not allowed.



Thats fair enough, the only reason i posted it was because it was Exactly the same as he posted here.. there was nothing else to share except for the fact he added he wouldn't post it!? Which was pretty confusing.


----------



## mergirl

free2beme04 said:


> Mer, if you tell anyone to fuck off, I'm going to be severely upset, got it?
> 
> You _just_ got back love, I'm still healing over here! :kiss2:



This was a genuine mistake, i thought posting a PM which was identical to a forum post would be ok. No fuck offs today.


----------



## Surlysomething

mergirl said:


> But, he said EXACTLY the same thing on the thread!!!! Except for the "i'm using my restraint not posting this on the forum"!! Did you NOT read that!!!



I had just mentioned the pm thing on my own and I saw your post. It got me all riled up. Haha. No hard feelings. :bow:


----------



## Miss Vickie

mossystate said:


> Vickie, my mentioning my Mom was not me doing anything than what I did. I would never use her that way.



I know, Mossy. I don't think I was accusing you, and in fact as someone who lost per parents after long illness I definitely wasn't accusing you. Rather, though, there are those who carry it a step further and use it as a sort of armor and battering ram to say "You can't say anything negative to me because of x, y or z" while they go about actively harming others. My point was that we all have pain, and we should try to cut each other a little slack. You lost your mom. I had cancer, and still deal with a potentially disabling disease, and the little girl I'm caring for runs the very real risk of losing her baby. It all sucks.



> Pain, when it is always being used as an excuse, is not a good thing.



Exactly. None of us should use our experiences as a bludgeon. That was the point I was trying to make, not that you had done anything wrong because I never see you hide behind your grief and pain or use it as an excuse to hurt others.



Surlysomething said:


> But what LoveBHMS said _shouldn't have seen the light of day_. There are lots of things that go around in my head that shouldn't be said outright because at the moment they're mean spirited or downright nasty.



I agree, and I can't remember exactly how the whole thing came to light but sharing of personal messages should not be treated lightly. Unfortunately, it ain't up to me who punished and isn't, who is allowed to stay and who should go. I have seen some pretty predatory behavior be allowed to continue here and it disappoints me, but I have to believe that there's more going on behind the scenes that I'm not aware of.



> I hate the thought of feederism, I despise the paysite board and cankles give me the fear. I feel that way for many reasons. Am I saying you can't enjoy them? Hell no. But I should be able to voice my opinion on it anytime I feel like. We're all adults.



We are one in this, and I agree that we should be able to say what it is we feel. However, we also have to understand that *if* those thoughts are given the light of day -- whether through malice or not -- we should "own" them and take what lumps may occur. I'll give BHM's credit in that she's stuck it out here and taken her lumps when others would have (and could have) left in a puff of smoke. That takes courage, I think.



SocialbFly said:


> i agree, there is so much you and i see, and truly, it does make an impact on me, i find i am so much quicker to say thank you and i am so much quicker to empathize due to what i see....our lives change in the blink of an eye, and i choose to try and remember the good  (which is sometimes damn hard)



Yep. It is damn hard, but I think that unlike a lot of our sister nurses who become hardened, you and I are if anything softer and emotionally squishier, and a lot more empathetic. I'd like to think that we're doing it "right" but it sure as hell isn't easy!



Fascinita said:


> At Dimensions in particular, we all need attention and support that as "outsiders" to the mainstream culture we may feel we've not found elsewhere--not to mention that each of us is an individual with a distinct personality or set of needs. And when we feel like the needs of others infringe on our getting our own needs met, many feel that we have to speak up and remind others that we're here, too, and deserve to be counted. The key is in how we do that speaking up, maybe.



Yes. This is why I hold my friends here to a higher standard when it comes to "acceptance", a term I catch a lot of shit in using when it's related to size acceptance. We're so quick to dump on others who are different and want acceptance, when here we are, asking society to accept us and OUR differences.



> For my part, it's always a matter of trying to find a balance between being assertive and making myself heard, and letting others do in kind. I know that I don't always find that balance, but I make it a priority to try to do so.



Yes, especially when as a culture women aren't really supported in being strongly passionate and verbal about something. Terms like "hysterical" or "strident" are used to describe women who are passionate and vocal about things, when men would be perceived in a much more positive light. It's very difficult for we as women -- and fat women at that -- to find our voice and speak our truth.

_Quoted for coolness:_



> If I can, without being considered precious hopefully, let me quote one of my favorite fables that illustrate what I mean:
> 
> _*A man* was rowing his boat upstream on a very misty morning. Suddenly, he saw another boat coming downstream, not trying to avoid him. It was coming straight at him. He shouted, "Be careful! Be careful!" but the boat came right into him, and his boat was almost sunk.
> 
> The man became very angry, and began to shout at the other person, to give him a piece of his mind. But when the mist parted and he looked closely, he saw that there was no one in the other boat.
> 
> It turned out that the boat had just got loose and gone downstream. All of the man's anger vanished, and he laughed and laughed._
> 
> In the particular tradition of wisdom that produced this story, the man in the boat is sometimes said to stand for the ego that thinks it is in charge of where the boat eventually goes. Looking closely, it's easy to see that ego actually has relatively little control over what happens in the world around us--even over what happens to us directly. Ego thinks it's entirely responsible for steering us to safety regularly, so pleased with itself that it fails to recognize the entirety of what may cause another "boat's" behavior, not to mention the way that an immensity of factors plays in the fate of ego's own "boat." Ego only wants to be in control of its world, reality be damned.
> 
> So I think we're all like boats in a fog anytime we interact, somewhat at the mercy of forces much larger than ourselves, with ego trying to steer things and wanting passionately to get to where it wants or needs to go. But no matter how fervently my ego tries to steer me in certain directions, the fact is, there's a lot that's out of my control. In that respect, we're all in exactly the same boat (hehe). For me, that's something wroth remembering daily. If I can keep my ego in check and let it do its proper job of trying to steer me along on a raging river--of making sure that there's a place in the world for me, too--while not thinking that the ego always knows what's best (or that the ego is ALL there is about me), or that in spite of ego's best effort I'm guaranteed to get my way... maybe then I have a chance at not making a complete ass of myself.
> 
> Maybe.



Thanks! You've given me a lot to think about!


----------



## Mathias

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I would read what you wrote except I have you on ignore.....talk to the hand!








You first!


----------



## KHayes666




----------



## imfree

Webmaster said:


> Saw this really good article on forum bullies. Gotta watch out for them critters.* If we have any, let me know*.



Woo-hoo, Chief, I think you've smoked us out
by now and know who's who!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

tonynyc said:


> *Greenie: "The Hand" if there was ever one phrase that speaks John Cena- that was it. *
> 
> *I'm sure you don't mind the addition- after all Cena is "Shoulders" and "Biceps" above the rest.... *



Oh my my my....now THAT is something I might shut up for :batting: 



Mathias said:


> You first!





KHayes666 said:


>



Did somebody post something? I can't see anything......:blink:


----------



## Jack Skellington

tonynyc said:


> *Too Bad "Paladin" can't be contracted for a few Internet Writing Assignments*



That was a good show.


----------



## tonynyc

Jack Skellington said:


> That was a good show.



Yep - I'm quite surprized that they did not do a remake (probably all for the better) can't wreck a true classic and a nice theme song too...

Some interesting facts about Richard Boone "Paladin" - 

1. He was a descendent of Daniel Boone
2. He was a Collegiate Boxing Champion
3. The show was not your typical Western and would deal with some of the social issues of the time and I believe Gene Roddenberry (Star Trek fame) was one of the writers during the 2d season. 

Ballad of Paladin Sung by Johnny Western 


Closing Credits Have Gun Will Travel


----------



## Tragdor

I want the lunch money of everyone in this thread, right now. Noncompliance will be met with uses of "purple nurple", "hurts sontit", and even the dreaded "Indian burn"


----------



## superodalisque

wrestlingguy said:


> Having come & gone on several occasions over the past 12+ years, there are things that I have noticed in both participating on the boards, and as a reader during my lurking time.
> 
> First, this is a tough place. Other forums that discuss fat sexuality, fat acceptance, fat porn, all of them on different occasions have described this community as tough. Anyone who has ventured from here has seen it, and those who come here from other forums feel it. Some of us wear the toughness like a badge of honor.
> 
> That toughness, in some cases, can be perceived as bullying. Several respondents here have acknowledged that toughness, and even admitted in some cases they need to win every argument here. I will admit to doing so as well.
> 
> We judge people here by the few sentences we get to read from them. We judge. Do we feel we should be judged by a few sentences we utter here?
> 
> Several weeks ago, I received a warning, and was reported to the mods for making several comments that appeared to be racist, and they were made to a person of color. My intent was not to be racist at all, some statements made to my wife several weeks before his postings here, and seeing his private comments to her, and then his postings on the board, I made the interaction between us very personal. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not racist to any degree. I just needed to get under this guy's skin, and I succeeded, but not without getting away with at the very least a warning that Conrad doesn't tolerate racism in Dimensions.
> 
> Point being made here is that we are all multi faceted individuals. This corner of our world is not what our entire life is made up of (at least I hope not).
> 
> So Mossystate has been accused of being a bully.......OK, so that is one facet of how some may see her. So, recently, I confided a private matter to her, with the result being an extremely compassionate answer from her. Did it surprise me, based on our previous board interaction? I think my answer has to be I don't know, since other than what she says on the boards, I know little about her. I do know that I appreciated what she said privately to me in response, and I know that friendships, no matter how loosely that term is construed, are based on understanding who that person is, and how they arrive at their conclusions about things. Also, an appreciation of their humanness helps as well.
> 
> The same thing can be said of others I've disagreed with in the past, whether it was TraciJo, or LoveBHMS, or William, or T-Devil or Uncanny Bruceman. I've never felt bullied, despite hearing that others felt bullied by some of the names that I've mentioned.
> 
> I'm not saying that we need to agree here on everything, I'm not even saying we need to be cordial, but when someone utters a comment that seems so foreign to how you may think, don't you want to at least look at how they came to that conclusion before setting your turrets on them?
> 
> Maybe we need another forum.......YES, another one, where we can actually talk about who we are, our lives, what we do, what makes us tick, and no, I don't mean Hyde Park. Maybe if we really got to know all of us a little better........
> 
> One of the advantages of running the New Jersey Bash is that we've been a catalyst for bringing together people from many different forums besides Dimensions. I enjoy interacting with everyone whether they are from Fantasy Feeder (even though I don't share the views of most feeders), The Fat Forums (mostly a porn related site), BBW Chat Zone, Curvage, Thick BBW Forums, and the rest. I try to see what we all have in common (besides fat, and whatever goes along with that), rather than looking at what separates us. Doing this for the past few years has helped change my outlook, and I wish all of you could get to these types of events to feel the real sense of community that I have the opportunity to be part of.
> 
> I will always be grateful to my bash partner Bernadette (bigsexy920) for helping to change my outlook on things. I've been a dick and a bully on these forums in the past. I've learned to temper my comments, and save my thoughts for when I can have face to face dialogue with people, when it can really count.



i love this post too!!! i think when people here have the chance to look each other in the eye the can see something they can't see here on the boards. the main thing being that people really don't hate you the way you think they might. thats why i love it when people can manage to get to events. maybe we should work harder on having regional get togethers so that everyone will ha a chance to at least get to know the people who live within reasonable reach.

i just want to say to mossy: please excuse me for getting so pissed off at you the other night. i really do respect a lot of points you make though i don't always agree with how you might make em-- lets continue grating on each others nerves like nails on a chalkboard  people find it entertaining anyway.


----------



## superodalisque

*watches the easily pre-engineered cannibalism with amusement*:batting:


----------



## stan_der_man

wrestlingguy said:


> Having come & gone on several occasions over the past 12+ years, there are things that I have noticed in both participating on the boards, and as a reader during my lurking time.
> 
> First, this is a tough place. Other forums that discuss fat sexuality, fat acceptance, fat porn, all of them on different occasions have described this community as tough. Anyone who has ventured from here has seen it, and those who come here from other forums feel it. Some of us wear the toughness like a badge of honor.
> 
> That toughness, in some cases, can be perceived as bullying. Several respondents here have acknowledged that toughness, and even admitted in some cases they need to win every argument here. I will admit to doing so as well.
> 
> We judge people here by the few sentences we get to read from them. We judge. Do we feel we should be judged by a few sentences we utter here?
> 
> Several weeks ago, I received a warning, and was reported to the mods for making several comments that appeared to be racist, and they were made to a person of color. My intent was not to be racist at all, some statements made to my wife several weeks before his postings here, and seeing his private comments to her, and then his postings on the board, I made the interaction between us very personal. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not racist to any degree. I just needed to get under this guy's skin, and I succeeded, but not without getting away with at the very least a warning that Conrad doesn't tolerate racism in Dimensions.
> 
> Point being made here is that we are all multi faceted individuals. This corner of our world is not what our entire life is made up of (at least I hope not).
> 
> So Mossystate has been accused of being a bully.......OK, so that is one facet of how some may see her. So, recently, I confided a private matter to her, with the result being an extremely compassionate answer from her. Did it surprise me, based on our previous board interaction? I think my answer has to be I don't know, since other than what she says on the boards, I know little about her. I do know that I appreciated what she said privately to me in response, and I know that friendships, no matter how loosely that term is construed, are based on understanding who that person is, and how they arrive at their conclusions about things. Also, an appreciation of their humanness helps as well.
> 
> The same thing can be said of others I've disagreed with in the past, whether it was TraciJo, or LoveBHMS, or William, or T-Devil or Uncanny Bruceman. I've never felt bullied, despite hearing that others felt bullied by some of the names that I've mentioned.
> 
> I'm not saying that we need to agree here on everything, I'm not even saying we need to be cordial, but when someone utters a comment that seems so foreign to how you may think, don't you want to at least look at how they came to that conclusion before setting your turrets on them?
> 
> Maybe we need another forum.......YES, another one, where we can actually talk about who we are, our lives, what we do, what makes us tick, and no, I don't mean Hyde Park. Maybe if we really got to know all of us a little better........
> 
> One of the advantages of running the New Jersey Bash is that we've been a catalyst for bringing together people from many different forums besides Dimensions. I enjoy interacting with everyone whether they are from Fantasy Feeder (even though I don't share the views of most feeders), The Fat Forums (mostly a porn related site), BBW Chat Zone, Curvage, Thick BBW Forums, and the rest. I try to see what we all have in common (besides fat, and whatever goes along with that), rather than looking at what separates us. Doing this for the past few years has helped change my outlook, and I wish all of you could get to these types of events to feel the real sense of community that I have the opportunity to be part of.
> 
> I will always be grateful to my bash partner Bernadette (bigsexy920) for helping to change my outlook on things. I've been a dick and a bully on these forums in the past. I've learned to temper my comments, and save my thoughts for when I can have face to face dialogue with people, when it can really count.



Again, I think this post best sums up the subject! Kudos to you Phil as always! And reiterating what you said Superodalisque... I've also had my disagreements with Mossy, but I always try to walk away from these encounters having learned something and you know what... I actually have learned things from her. I don't necessarily agree, but I do now understand another perspective which I didn't before.


----------



## superodalisque

LillyBBBW said:


> Bleh, and I'm about to engage in the same sad behavior just now. When I was talking about being called a bully I really didn't mean you as the accuser. In fact I had no idea you had ever done so, so now I'm going to have to go look and see if I can sputter indignantly there. I was mainly talking about Ernest Nagel and T Devil. Didn't want to mention names but it's probably better at this juncture. The other two people, Superodalisque and Swordchick, were making broad generalized statements about bullying in a thread where I was the main antagonist so I assumed it was an indirect way of addressing me though of course I'm not certain. Saying their names seemed unfair under the circumstances but if I'm going to have people suspicious anyway I may as well narrow it down some. Anyone else who's been calling me a bully can continue to do so, I haven't caught on yet.



? ! you never crossed my mind! i just wanted you to know that. we disagree sometimes and you call me on stuff but i never felt ridiculed or disrespected by you. you are blunt and direct with me but you've never called me a name. i have actually thought about what you had to say and you've helped me to modify some of my opinions. i know you've had your moments but so have i. anybody can lose thier temper in here. but its not an everyday all of the time kind of thing with you. i don't think people have been leaving dims because they are tired of your posts. i know a lot of people who have gotten sick of people and left. your name never comes up that way. 

if you feel you might be touched by some things people have said maybe you want to think about it? i don't know. all i can say is i don't feel that most of your posts are about attacking people and totally dehumanizing them more times than not. its true, i'm not that intent on tallying up the things people say. i don't rep people as much as i should etc... its only if they tend to create an overall atmosphere where people are often afraid to talk openly and honestly about how they feel and the issue we are trying to talk about gets over run by it that it bothers me. thats not my general opinion of you at all. i don't feel you try to stop every respectful and inquisitive conversation that people are trying to start with some kind of subtrafuge. but i don't really monitor the forums and i don't know what everyone is doing all of the time.

i have to tell the truth. i baited people in my first post just to see who would respond. the reason i did that was to find out if people already felt they might really be going too far more often than not. i wanted to know if they actually knew they were demeaning to people or not and whether they cared. did they honestly think what they were doing was constructive or educational? i really can't assume too much about people i really don't know. so i wanted them to tell me something about themselves in a way. thats why i didn't name names. i didn't really have anyone in particular in mind. needless to say i've learned a lot. god knows we have all done things and said things on here that we regret--or i hope we regret them. i kind of set the same trap on another forum too. the same people fell for it not once but twice --here and elsewhere. you see i think people who are into bullying know they are bullies already. they don't even have to think twice when someone brings up the term bully. they know full well who they are and don't even wonder. its no secret. and, just like the ones on the playground they don't care even when people tell them it hurts. then again there are some of us who get a little too rough on the playground from time to time in the heat of play. there is a difference between the two. i think we are more like the last group myself. the fact that you had to wonder if other people felt you were a bully might tell you a lot. there are folks who already know they are. they don't have to wonder.


----------



## mergirl

Surlysomething said:


> I had just mentioned the pm thing on my own and I saw your post. It got me all riled up. Haha. No hard feelings. :bow:


No worries.. only soft feelings here! Oh lol..that sounded sleazy! Brilliant!


----------



## mergirl

I'm wondering why a thread posted inviting Fat people and Fas to a party on dimensions filled with other Fat people and Fas would get moved to the lounge but this thread which has nothing to do with fat people at all stays on the main board. What's the rules chief??


----------



## LoveBHMS

I'm pretty sure this thread is here because it relates to this board and this community on the whole, not specifically about fat acceptance but about Dims.



> That toughness, in some cases, can be perceived as bullying. Several respondents here have acknowledged that toughness, and even admitted in some cases they need to win every argument here. I will admit to doing so as well.



I don't think anyone would see you as a bully, Phil. Maybe opinionated, but not a bully. I'd say the very essence of bullying is it's NOT arguing, it's more of a one way abuse/harrassment sort of thing. You and I have had disagreements about issues on the Paysite Board, but i've never felt as if you were belittling me on any personal level.


----------



## imfree

fa_man_stan said:


> Again, I think this post best sums up the subject! Kudos to you Phil as always! And reiterating what you said Superodalisque... I've also had my disagreements with Mossy, but I always try to walk away from these encounters having learned something and you know what... I actually have learned things from her. I don't necessarily agree, but I do now understand another perspective which I didn't before.



Great post, Stan. Real character growth comes from
understanding the perspectives of others. Hanging
out in DimmerLand is an opportunity for character
growth.:bow:


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

This thread reminds me of the movie Mean Girls.


----------



## Mini

BigBellySSBBW said:


> This thread reminds me of the movie Mean Girls.



Which of us is Lindsay Lohan?


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

BigBellySSBBW said:


> This thread reminds me of the movie Mean Girls.



Yeah, except there is much more emphasis placed on the plot where Lindsay Lohan is trying to secretly fatten up the main girl bully. Pretty sure that'd have the opposite effect on this forum though.


----------



## LillyBBBW

BigBellySSBBW said:


> This thread reminds me of the movie Mean Girls.



I want to be Janis!


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

I wonder who this would be .. 


Crying Girl: I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy... 
Damian: She doesn't even go here! 
Ms. Norbury: Do you even go to this school? 
Crying Girl: No... I just have a lot of feelings... 
Ms. Norbury: Ok go home... 
Ms. Norbury: Next!


----------



## LillyBBBW

BothGunsBlazing said:


> I wonder who this would be ..
> 
> 
> Crying Girl: I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...
> Damian: She doesn't even go here!
> Ms. Norbury: Do you even go to this school?
> Crying Girl: No... I just have a lot of feelings...
> Ms. Norbury: Ok go home...
> Ms. Norbury: Next!



I don't know but I'm probably the "heavy flow" girl.


----------



## Spanky

I think I just menstruated in my mouth a little.


----------



## mergirl

Spanky said:


> I think I just menstruated in my mouth a little.



haha..and blah! I really need to watch more chick flicks..


----------



## Tau

There was a CANKLEGATE!!! *dies laughing* I really love this forum  Also, I'm totally Regina George hehehe!


----------



## Tad

I’ve read only a minority of posts on this thread. Too big, too fast moving. So I’m addressing the topic, not anyone else’s specific post. (and I don’t particularly expect anyone to notice my post in the middle of this torrent).

I don’t think bullies are anything like the biggest problem on the boards. I think far more damage is done by negligence than by malign intent. There are three types that I label &#8216;mama bear,’ &#8216;skunk,’ and the &#8216;shark’ that do a lot of harm.

Mama Bear is not necessarily female! Just someone who, like the proverbial mother bear over-protecting her cub, will maul anything that mama bear perceives as being any possible threat to its &#8216;baby.’ The baby could literally be kids, but more often is figurative not literal, something like a certain notion or way of seeing things that they refuse to have challenged. Sometimes it is a fairly narrow thing that will not be &#8216;threatened’ too often, like a very serious feeling that peanuts are just dangerous and nobody should have peanut products in public. Sometimes it seems to be pretty broad, almost amounting to &#8216;how I see the world,’ such that any request that they look at things a different way will prompt a savage attack. They see this defense as justified, and don’t realize how much damage they can do with their savagery. So long as you know what Mama Bear is protecting and make sure to stay well away from it, they are usually pretty easy going and easy enough to get along with. 

The skunk is not protecting anything in particular, other than itself. And it can feel threatened very easily and by almost anything. And when it does, boy does it raise a stink. Usually they don’t attack an individual so directly as does Mama Bear, but they can sure make a thread unpleasant to be around. Note that being threatened could include things such as feeling unfairly lumped into a generalization, having their choice of words questioned, receiving a suggestion that their post was not in an appropriate place, or suggestion that their concerns aren’t as serious as all that. They see this as innocent defense of their interests, and don’t seem to realize how it can make the whole place unpleasant to be in, and how it will tend to make others avoid them. Most skunks seem to carry a vague whiff of past turmoil around with them, and are often quick to threaten a big stink when they sense the mere possibility of a threat, so personally these are people that I tend to just stay away from.

The shark is generally not a big problem, until there is blood in the water. Then they seem to irresistibly go into feeding frenzy mode. When they see someone being attacked, they seem unable to resist jumping in and taking their own bite. I’m pretty sure that most shark behavior is mostly reflexive and not thought out, driven by some sense of mob justice, that if others are attacking you should be too or something like that. If you simply avoid getting into forum fights you’ll be pretty shark proof, but should you feel the need to defend yourself these will be some of the most aggravating and aggressive attackers.

I’m sure we all have our share of being all of those three, it is just that some people seem to channel one of these three a lot more strongly. I have my own list of mama bears around who I should tread carefully (in most cases I try to avoid getting into serious conversations with them), and of skunks whom I should avoid. Sharks I don’t worry about so much, as I just make a point of staying away from the feeding frenzies for the most part.

I know I’m not innocent of these behaviors. I’ve waded in to defend certain things more than once, and no doubt been more aggressive than needed. I’ve moped and moaned about some things that didn’t need such a fuss. I’ve sometimes been unable to resist taking my own piece out of someone who was already under attack. But I figure that being able to recognize the behaviors is the first step to avoid taking part in them.


----------



## mergirl

Tad -(The artist formally known as Edx). I wish i could rep you.
Apparently i am a tazmanian devil. grooowl! Spanky said it so it must be true! 
I feel more of an affinity with the Blue whale or manatees though.. hmmm
I totally agree with what you have said and can totally recognise those traits here in different degrees. You are clever!! :wubu:


----------



## Spanky

mergirl said:


> Tad -(The artist formally known as Edx). I wish i could rep you.
> Apparently i am a tazmanian devil. grooowl! Spanky said it so it must be true!
> I feel more of an affinity with the Blue whale or manatees though.. hmmm
> I totally agree with what you have said and can totally recognise those traits here in different degrees. You are clever!! :wubu:



No, no, nein, nyet, non, nix. I cannot let this brazen bullying tactic go unanswered. Cute like a Taz devil. Cute. Kay-you-tee-eeeee, cute. See below. 

View attachment Tasmanian devil.jpg


----------



## Spanky

Upon smelling haggis in the water, thus changes mood slightly. :wubu: 

View attachment taz_mad.jpg


----------



## Spanky

Tad said:


> Ive read only a minority of posts on this thread. Too big, too fast moving. <snipped>



Great post, Tad (still want to call you edx). 

But you just know a shark like Greeny Eyedy Fairyy will be popping in to demand snakes be added to list, with pics. Yes, lots of pics. And bananas. 

Yes, snakes with bananas.


----------



## TraciJo67

Tad, I can't REP you either, and wish that I could. A gazillion times. What you've written is one of the most useful things I've read in this thread, among many others (I loved what wrestlingguy wrote as well). It is tactful, insightful, and most of all useful. I recognize a bit of myself in all 3 categorizations, actually - probably more the 'Mother Bear' than the other two, but some of that as well. What I came away with was a better understanding of myself -- and others -- than I had prior to reading your post. I hope that everyone who reads it will fully absorb what you've said. It is just ... wow. I'm speechless. As always, just when I think I can't be any more impressed with you, the bar gets raised


----------



## jcorbi83

thatgirl08 said:


> Who seriously sits down and writes a four page article about people being assholes on the internet?



Youd be surprised.

But saying not nice things to nice people on ANY Message board isnt fair.

I think everyone can be nice on this Forum, especially with such lovely ladies that are on here. Anything else (like anti-FA people) should keep their negative opinions to themself. 

I was reading this thread, and im not into posting contests, but as for myself: When i see a great poster in the Plus Pay Size section, i post.. Thats what i like about this board! So many great things on it.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Spanky said:


> No, no, nein, nyet, non, nix. I cannot let this brazen bullying tactic go unanswered. Cute like a Taz devil. Cute. Kay-you-tee-eeeee, cute. See below.



What the hell is that abomination?


----------



## Spanky

LillyBBBW said:


> What the hell is that abomination?



If you mean me, I am Spanky.:bow:

If you mean the animal, that is a Tazmanian Devil. The real life one made famous by Warner Bros. along with Daffy Duck, Bugs and Porky. 

Tad started it with the aminal references. Wait....am am amin anim animal.


----------



## Surlysomething

Thread derailment, per usual. :doh:


----------



## Spanky

Surlysomething said:


> Thread derailment, per usual. :doh:



Usual suspects too?


----------



## Mathias

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Oh my my my....now THAT is something I might shut up for :batting:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Did somebody post something? I can't see anything......:blink:



I posted a picture of a hand but it didn't show...


----------



## Fascinita

Tad's post is begging to be turned into a quiz.

"Are you a Dimensions bully, skunk, or shark?"

Personally, I like to think of myself as a stinker. :bow: IS there an option for that?


----------



## mossystate

* sniff *...there should be, Lizzie.

I vote option D.


----------



## Fascinita

mossystate said:


> I vote option D.



Congratulations! You most resemble a Dimensions Impala.

:bow:

This one...:







...NOT this one:


----------



## mossystate

Fascinita said:


> Congratulations! You most resemble a Dimensions Impala.
> 
> :bow:
> 
> This one...:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ...NOT this one:





It is really good to know what I am. I hated just wandering...ya know?


I see I don't have my spare tire.


----------



## Tina

Spanky said:


> Tad started it with the aminal references. Wait....am am amin anim animal.


I prefer aminal. 


TraciJo67 said:


> Tad, I can't REP you either, and wish that I could. A gazillion times. What you've written is one of the most useful things I've read in this thread, among many others (I loved what wrestlingguy wrote as well). It is tactful, insightful, and most of all useful. I recognize a bit of myself in all 3 categorizations, actually - probably more the 'Mother Bear' than the other two, but some of that as well. What I came away with was a better understanding of myself -- and others -- than I had prior to reading your post. I hope that everyone who reads it will fully absorb what you've said. It is just ... wow. I'm speechless. As always, just when I think I can't be any more impressed with you, the bar gets raised


I got him for both of us, Traci.  And to you, Traci, for your honesty. I unfailingly admire you for your ability to look at yourself and see where you feel you might be wrong, admit it and if necessary, apologize. Many people are unable and/or unwilling to do the same. Much respect and love to you. :wubu:

Tad, very well said, as always. What a great, creative analysis. Maybe we all have even just a tiny bit of one, or all, of them in us.


----------



## SparklingBBW

If bullies had a theme song: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpcUxwpOQ_A&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6&border=1

It's cute and funny  

P.s. Great post Tad! Wise words. 

.


----------



## jcorbi83

mossystate said:


> It is really good to know what I am. I hated just wandering...ya know?
> 
> 
> I see I don't have my spare tire.



I like the Car Impala. 

You could really bully someone with a massive Impala. But then youd get a ticket. 

I wanted to quote the pics too.. Oh well. Game On.

"Forum Bullies will be Shot."


----------



## Fascinita

mossystate said:


> I see I don't have my spare tire.



You've been working out!


----------



## mossystate

Fascinita said:


> You've been working out!



I have. Sorry. This heat is hell on my flanks.


----------



## kayrae

Me too. I only talk to the paysite models and the people who leave comments on their threads. Everyone else is eh...



jcorbi83 said:


> Youd be surprised.
> 
> But saying not nice things to nice people on ANY Message board isnt fair.
> 
> I think everyone can be nice on this Forum, especially with such lovely ladies that are on here. Anything else (like anti-FA people) should keep their negative opinions to themself.
> 
> I was reading this thread, and im not into posting contests, but as for myself: *When i see a great poster in the Plus Pay Size section, i post.. Thats what i like about this board! So many great things on it*.


----------



## Fascinita

jcorbi83 said:


> You could really bully someone with a massive Impala. But then youd get a ticket.



Listen... You could also bully someone with those big impala horns. They don't call it BULLying for nuthin'.


----------



## mossystate

Fascinita said:


> Listen... You could also bully someone with those big impala horns. They don't call it BULLying for nuthin'.



I recognize those guys!!


----------



## Fascinita

mossystate said:


> I recognize those guys!!



I wanna say something about butting butts, but... :blush:


----------



## mossystate

Fascinita said:


> I wanna say something about butting butts, but... :blush:




Well, if you do...you say it with pictures, young lady!!


----------



## Spanky

I have to admit my extreme offense to the word bully. It denotes the male of the bovine species therefore assuming that males are the only ones being aggressive and mean. 

Therefore, due to my personal and deep offense to this awful word, we must also and equally include the following word.......cowy. 

Cowy or cowies. So we must admit that cowies and bullies abound. There are skunk cowies and shark bullies. Tazmanian devil cowies and '68 Chevy Impala bullies. 

You choose. But make it equal.

Power to the people. :bow:


----------



## kayrae

Cowy sounds like a coward. How about heifer-y?


----------



## Spanky

kayrae said:


> Cowy sounds like a coward. How about heifer-y?



Now yer tawkin my langwich.


----------



## Surlysomething

So much for a serious discussion.

Boring.


And....i'm out!


----------



## Spanky

Surlysomething said:


> So much for a serious discussion.
> 
> Boring.
> 
> 
> And....i'm out!



Yeah, so much...... Like you added anything other than your Surly comments.


----------



## LoveBHMS

This thread has probably run its course.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Surlysomething said:


> So much for a serious discussion.
> 
> Boring.
> 
> 
> And....i'm out!



That horse died a long time ago and has taken so many beatings... there's nothing here left to see here but ugly animals and corny jokes. Save yourself.


----------



## imfree

LoveBHMS said:


> This thread has probably run its course.




Energize Me Please!


----------



## Surlysomething

Spanky said:


> Yeah, so much...... Like you added anything other than your Surly comments.




Really? You don't even know me. But in perfect form you derail a thread and insult someone as you do it. Nice.

Quite appropriate.


----------



## Mathias

14 pages? Really?


----------



## Spanky

Surlysomething said:


> Really? You don't even know me. But in perfect form you derail a thread and insult someone as you do it. Nice.
> 
> Quite appropriate.



Surly, 

I do not know you. Derailing. Geez. Like someone can't post and get it back on topic. This thread, no thread is derailed unless no one wants to post anymore. A few posts adding some levity nee a break from people tearing each other down and naming names, posting PMs and dredging up old dead and buried issues? Oooooo, does a tazmanian devil pic upset you more than people being called out? 

But continue with observing the carnage. The beatings will continue until morale improves. 

But then you already left. I guess it was all beneath you. 


Bah.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Sing it baby!! Stick it to the man!! Power to the bovine!!

Sing with me Spanky: "All we are saying, is give beef a chance."

:bow:




Spanky said:


> I have to admit my extreme offense to the word bully. It denotes the male of the bovine species therefore assuming that males are the only ones being aggressive and mean.
> 
> Therefore, due to my personal and deep offense to this awful word, we must also and equally include the following word.......cowy.
> 
> Cowy or cowies. So we must admit that cowies and bullies abound. There are skunk cowies and shark bullies. Tazmanian devil cowies and '68 Chevy Impala bullies.
> 
> You choose. But make it equal.
> 
> Power to the people. :bow:


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Mathias said:


> 14 pages? Really?



and you were just two posts away from making it 15!:doh:
Better luck next time!


----------



## Surlysomething

Spanky said:


> Surly,
> 
> I do not know you. Derailing. Geez. Like someone can't post and get it back on topic. This thread, no thread is derailed unless no one wants to post anymore. A few posts adding some levity nee a break from people tearing each other down and naming names, posting PMs and dredging up old dead and buried issues? Oooooo, does a tazmanian devil pic upset you more than people being called out?
> 
> But continue with observing the carnage. The beatings will continue until morale improves.
> 
> But then you already left. I guess it was all beneath you.
> 
> 
> Bah.



I left until I got called out. I find it funny that you chose to reply to my post that didn't specify anyone. Very interesting. :bow:
Maybe i'm one of the few people that actually likes a discussion that doesn't derail into stupid pictures _every time by the same people_. Sorry about that.

Carry on your Spankiness.


Mathias, we've been waiting for your comment! You're on time too!


----------



## TraciJo67

This thread, for the most part, exhausts me. I've changed my mind about its purpose, though. I think it was probably useful, in the long run. Gave some people the opportunity to air some grievances that have probably been brewing under the surface of things for a long time. Hopefully, it's been a pressure valve release. Jury's out for now.

But I'm glad to see the levity that has crept into it. I think it has run its course on the serious stuff. I hope it has.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Surlysomething said:


> Really? You don't even know me. But in perfect form you derail a thread and insult someone as you do it. Nice.
> 
> Quite appropriate.



Surly you sound like one of those people who is always looking for somebody else to steer the boat. If you have somethig to say that's relevant to the topic why don't you just say it instead of begging everybody else to keep you entertained?


----------



## Surlysomething

LillyBBBW said:


> Surly you sound like one of those people who is always looking for somebody else to steer the boat. If you have somethig to say that's relevant to the topic why don't you just say it instead of begging everybody else to keep you entertained?




Sorry, I don't have the patience to wade through the pages of bullshit that has been put up here.


----------



## Fascinita

LillyBBBW said:


> corny jokes



Now, come on, Lilly! You dropped at least one corny joke that I know of in this thread. 

My boyfriend went to Dimensions and all I got was this lousy sense of humor.

I believe a lawsuit is in order somewhere.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

LillyBBBW said:


> Surly you sound like one of those people who is always looking for somebody else to steer the boat. If you have somethig to say that's relevant to the topic why don't you just say it instead of begging everybody else to keep you entertained?



There was a boat mentioned once before in this thread too.


----------



## Surlysomething

LillyBBBW said:


> If you have somethig to say that's relevant to the topic why don't you just say it instead of begging everybody else to keep you entertained?




You missed the mark here. But I know you probably think you hit the nail on the head.


How can anyone talk about the topic at hand when they have to sort through all the crap? Seems kind of pointless. I only replied to a post directed at me. I'm sure that's allowed. Maybe I should check the rule book.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Surlysomething said:


> You missed the mark here. But I know you probably think you hit the nail on the head.
> 
> 
> How can anyone talk about the topic at hand when they have to sort through all the crap? Seems kind of pointless. I only replied to a post directed at me. I'm sure that's allowed. Maybe I should check the rule book.



Surly your post just didn't make sense. You don't want to read the relevant stuff, you don't want to read the c0rn, you're complaining. Obviously nobody wantd to talk about it anymore I'm uncertain what your demands are other than to piss all over everyone's free will but yours. Seriously, if you have thoughts on bullying nobody's stopping you from sharing them but what are you want from people?


----------



## Surlysomething

LillyBBBW said:


> Seriously, if you have thoughts on bullying nobody's stopping you from sharing them but what are you want from people?




I did leave (because it was obviously a derailed thread) UNTIL I was called out.

But par for the course in Dimensions, everything turns into a clusterfuck. I know better and should have just walked away. Instead I aired my distaste and here we are.

:bow:


----------



## mossystate

YEAH!!!!



Not sure what I am saying YEAH...to....just enjoy it when it happens.


If I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I'd ride him on my boat
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boat

If I were Roy Rogers
I'd sure enough be single
I couldn't bring myself to marrying old Dale
It'd just be me and trigger
We'd go riding through them movies
Then we'd buy a boat and on the sea we'd sail

And if I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I'd ride him on my boat
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boat

The mystery masked man was smart
He got himself a Tonto
'Cause Tonto did the dirty work for free
But Tonto he was smarter
And one day said kemo sabe
Kiss my ass I bought a boat
I'm going out to sea

And if I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I'd ride him on my boat
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boat

And if I were like lightning
I wouldn't need no sneakers
I'd come and go wherever I would please
And I'd scare 'em by the shade tree
And I'd scare 'em by the light pole
But I would not scare my pony on my boat out on the sea

And if I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I'd ride him on my boat
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boat

---


----------



## Fascinita

Lyle Lovett!

This thread has _everything_.


----------



## LillyBBBW

mossystate said:


> YEAH!!!!
> 
> 
> 
> Not sure what I am saying YEAH...to....just enjoy it when it happens.
> 
> 
> If I had a boat
> I'd go out on the ocean
> And if I had a pony
> I'd ride him on my boat
> And we could all together
> Go out on the ocean
> Me upon my pony on my boat
> 
> If I were Roy Rogers
> I'd sure enough be single
> I couldn't bring myself to marrying old Dale
> It'd just be me and trigger
> We'd go riding through them movies
> Then we'd buy a boat and on the sea we'd sail
> 
> And if I had a boat
> I'd go out on the ocean
> And if I had a pony
> I'd ride him on my boat
> And we could all together
> Go out on the ocean
> Me upon my pony on my boat
> 
> The mystery masked man was smart
> He got himself a Tonto
> 'Cause Tonto did the dirty work for free
> But Tonto he was smarter
> And one day said kemo sabe
> Kiss my ass I bought a boat
> I'm going out to sea
> 
> And if I had a boat
> I'd go out on the ocean
> And if I had a pony
> I'd ride him on my boat
> And we could all together
> Go out on the ocean
> Me upon my pony on my boat
> 
> And if I were like lightning
> I wouldn't need no sneakers
> I'd come and go wherever I would please
> And I'd scare 'em by the shade tree
> And I'd scare 'em by the light pole
> But I would not scare my pony on my boat out on the sea
> 
> And if I had a boat
> I'd go out on the ocean
> And if I had a pony
> I'd ride him on my boat
> And we could all together
> Go out on the ocean
> Me upon my pony on my boat
> 
> ---



I can't believe they let you get away with posting this filth.


----------



## mossystate

Fascinita said:


> Lyle Lovett!
> 
> This thread has _everything_.



YAY!



LillyBBBW said:


> I can't believe they let you get away with posting this filth.



Report me. Twice. I am a BAD girl.


:blush:


----------



## Wagimawr

mossystate said:


> I am a BAD girl.
> 
> 
> :blush:


DULY NOTED


----------



## Spanky

Surlysomething said:


> I did leave (because it was obviously a derailed thread) UNTIL I was called out.
> 
> But par for the course in Dimensions, everything turns into a clusterfuck. I know better and should have just walked away. Instead I aired my distaste and here we are.
> 
> :bow:



My observation only is that you are being angry for some reason. I do not know you, I do not know what you are thinking. It is your right to be what you want to be. But I guess my post to you specifically ("calling you out" as you put it) was in answer to you calling a group out TWICE without naming names. I assumed that I was part of that group. Hit and run, hit and run, twice. Barely a sentence either time. 

Some like books with nothing but pages of black and white, small print, fully justified. All fiber. 

I like big pictures, fat drawings, huge visuals, preferably in bright "64 colors" crayon coming from the box with the little sharpener on the front. 

This was a hot thread. It needed some cooling down. Some fun posts and joking does that. Locking and closing the thread does it too. 

Seriously, no hard feelings. :bow:


----------



## mossystate

Wagimawr said:


> DULY NOTED




* eyes you *

*L*


----------



## tonynyc

Spanky said:


> I like big pictures, fat drawings, huge visuals, preferably in bright "64 colors" crayon coming from the box with the little sharpener on the front.
> 
> This was a hot thread. It needed some cooling down. Some fun posts and joking does that. Locking and closing the thread does it too.
> 
> Seriously, no hard feelings. :bow:



This thread has been one of the hotter topics for sure...I also like pictures and animation...


----------



## mergirl

This thread has outlived its usefulness and will now get its head flushed down the toilet and its lunch money stolen!


----------



## Spanky

mergirl said:


> This thread has outlived its usefulness and will now get its head flushed down the toilet and its lunch money stolen!



Don't forget locked in a locker. With a big atomic wedgie*. 


*PM me for the American definition of atomic wedgie.


----------



## Paquito

mossystate said:


> *L*



WHAT IS THIS?!?!?! I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS

DAMN YOU MOSSY


----------



## mergirl

free2beme04 said:


> WHAT IS THIS?!?!?! I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS
> 
> DAMN YOU MOSSY



Its a cheerleader having a wee rest.


----------



## mossystate

free2beme04 said:


> DAMN YOU MOSSY





You are too late.


----------



## Mathias

mossystate said:


> You are too late.



I always thought it meant you were laughing.


----------



## GoldenDelicious

mergirl said:


> This thread has outlived its usefulness and will now get its head flushed down the toilet and its lunch money stolen!


Well in that case, You're claimed! you better be ootside the school gates this efternin. Am gonni burst ye. In fact, am gonni slap ye good lookin, och wait a meenit, ye oready ur good lookin. All rip a new arsehole insteed.


----------



## mergirl

GoldenDelicious said:


> Well in that case, You're claimed! you better be ootside the school gates this efternin. Am gonni burst ye. In fact, am gonni slap ye good lookin, och wait a meenit, ye oready ur good lookin. All rip a new arsehole insteed.



Its a date! :wubu::wubu:


----------



## GoldenDelicious

mergirl said:


> Its a date! :wubu::wubu:


You're gettin it!


----------



## kayrae

CAN ONE OF YOU RECORD A YOUTUBE VIDEO saying this?! I need to hear your accents!


----------



## mossystate

_ All rip a new arsehole insteed._


Thanks for not asking for a video of this actual act.


----------



## Santaclear

You know, they say that the last poster on the Bully thread gets to finish all the cake.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Santaclear said:


> You know, they say that the last poster on the Bully thread gets to finish all the cake.



I hope its burnt almond.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Spanky said:


> Great post, Tad (still want to call you edx).
> 
> But you just know a shark like Greeny Eyedy Fairyy will be popping in to demand snakes be added to list, with pics. Yes, lots of pics. And bananas.
> 
> Yes, snakes with bananas.



I moved on from naked monkey ass in chaps.....I am in recovery. What's wrong with snakes with bananas? 

Bananas are healthy.......so are cucumbers. 




Mathias said:


> I posted a picture of a hand but it didn't show...



Matt, did you post something??? 

[



tonynyc said:


> This thread has been one of the hotter topics for sure...I also like pictures and animation...



I have added these to my collection......*insert wicked troll laugh here*


----------



## daddyoh70

LillyBBBW said:


> That horse died a long time ago and has taken so many beatings... there's nothing here left to see here but ugly animals and corny jokes. Save yourself.





mergirl said:


> This thread has outlived its usefulness and will now get its head flushed down the toilet and its lunch money stolen!



Or in other words...


----------



## stan_der_man

mergirl said:


> Tad -(The artist formally known as Edx). I wish i could rep you.
> ...



Actually that's Tad - (The artistè formally known as Edx) 



TraciJo67 said:


> Tad, I can't REP you either, and wish that I could.
> ...



I sent some reppies his direction for the both of ya! 



imfree said:


> Great post, Stan. Real character growth comes from
> understanding the perspectives of others. Hanging
> out in DimmerLand is an opportunity for character growth.:bow:



Now that would be an interesting topic of discussion on the Weight Board... "How many of you are turned on by character growth...?"  Thanks for the kudos Imfree! :bow:


----------



## Isa

daddyoh70 said:


> Or in other words...



LOL. The mods need to use this pic every time a thread is closed.


----------



## BarbBBW

just wanna be the last one to post to get some cake!! hehehe


----------



## Isa

BarbBBW said:


> just wanna be the last one to post to get some cake!! hehehe



No, it's mine! MINE!!


----------



## BarbBBW

Isa said:


> No, it's mine! MINE!!



hehehe you are a brat


----------



## Tina

Okay, so I'm going to make this post. I've gone back and forth on it. Because of my upbringing, I really dislike fighting. It makes me nervous at times. Kinda funny, considering how much of it I used to do on the old boards, but anyway...  This thread was making the backs of my eyeballs itch when Conrad started it, and I honestly just wanted it to go away. But aside from a few continuing snipes here and there, it seems to be fading away now, and the board didn't fracture and sink into the sea, like I was afraid it might. So, some questions, just as me, Tina, not as me, a moderator...

Does anyone feel this was a worthwhile thread?

Does anyone feel that just saying the things that were said was productive, or make anyone feel better?

Does anyone feel they have learned anything about themselves in this thread?

Does anyone feel that maybe some fences have been mended, and if not mended that there is more understanding than before this thread? IOW, was it wasted space and time?


----------



## BarbBBW

Tina said:


> Okay, so I'm going to make this post. I've gone back and forth on it. Because of my upbringing, *I really dislike fighting. It makes me nervous at times.* Kinda funny, considering how much of it I used to do on the old boards, but anyway...  This thread was making the backs of my eyeballs itch when Conrad started it, and I honestly just wanted it to go away. But aside from a few continuing snipes here and there, it seems to be fading away now, and the board didn't fracture and sink into the sea, like I was afraid it might. So, some questions, just as me, Tina, not as me, a moderator...
> 
> Does anyone feel this was a worthwhile thread?
> 
> Does anyone feel that just saying the things that were said was productive, or make anyone feel better?
> 
> Does anyone feel they have learned anything about themselves in this thread?
> 
> Does anyone feel that maybe some fences have been mended, and if not mended that there is more understanding than before this thread? IOW, was it wasted space and time?


I am with you on this one!!
and i want to have the cake LOL


----------



## Santaclear

Tina said:


> Okay, so I'm going to make this post. I've gone back and forth on it. Because of my upbringing, I really dislike fighting. It makes me nervous at times. Kinda funny, considering how much of it I used to do on the old boards, but anyway...  This thread was making the backs of my eyeballs itch when Conrad started it, and I honestly just wanted it to go away. But aside from a few continuing snipes here and there, it seems to be fading away now, and the board didn't fracture and sink into the sea, like I was afraid it might. So, some questions, just as me, Tina, not as me, a moderator...
> 
> Does anyone feel this was a worthwhile thread?
> 
> Does anyone feel that just saying the things that were said was productive, or make anyone feel better?
> 
> Does anyone feel they have learned anything about themselves in this thread?
> 
> Does anyone feel that maybe some fences have been mended, and if not mended that there is more understanding than before this thread? IOW, was it wasted space and time?



Are you trying to filibuster so you can get the cake?


----------



## mossystate

We were...this....close.


----------



## Spanky

Tina said:


> Okay, so I'm going to make this post. I've gone back and forth on it. Because of my upbringing, I really dislike fighting. It makes me nervous at times. Kinda funny, considering how much of it I used to do on the old boards, but anyway...  This thread was making the backs of my eyeballs itch when Conrad started it, and I honestly just wanted it to go away. But aside from a few continuing snipes here and there, it seems to be fading away now, and the board didn't fracture and sink into the sea, like I was afraid it might. So, some questions, just as me, Tina, not as me, a moderator...
> 
> Does anyone feel this was a worthwhile thread?
> 
> Does anyone feel that just saying the things that were said was productive, or make anyone feel better?
> 
> Does anyone feel they have learned anything about themselves in this thread?
> 
> Does anyone feel that maybe some fences have been mended, and if not mended that there is more understanding than before this thread? IOW, was it wasted space and time?




I think Conrad's point, whether subtle or not, was to turn the mirror on us and make us look into it and assess ourselves. Some decided to "kindly" assess others, some each other, back and forth. Some said screw the mirror, see you in the school yard after school. Bring your lunch money. 

I have determined looking in the mirror that I need a shave and the side burns trimmed up a bit. Yuck!


----------



## stan_der_man

In the past threads like this were a hell of a lot more rambunctious... Does this mean we're getting old...? 

:eeek:


----------



## tonynyc

fa_man_stan said:


> In the past threads like this were a hell of a lot more rambunctious... Does this mean we're getting old...?
> 
> :eeek:



Just more choices - like our television viewing experience ( in the past it was The Big 3 "NBC, ABC, CBS"- a few minor stations and our poor substitute for Cable "UHF")...

Now we have expanded to Cable and a heck of a lot more choices. If we don't like one show - we can simply change the channel....

Interesting Avatar? is it from a particular comic book?


----------



## Tina

Santaclear said:


> Are you trying to filibuster so you can get the cake?



I've already eaten it, Santa. *burp* Pardon me. :batting:


----------



## Shosh

I do not feel that this thread was productive or worthwhile to be honest.
The same people will still continue with their same poor behaviour. Nought will change on that front.
There is a cult like mentality where some here are concerned. I guess others wish that they could be openly nasty, so they live vicariously through those that feel at ease with targeting others.

At this point I am wondering what my place here really is and whether or not I should continue to put my heart and soul into helping others here.
I try very hard to bring a positive presence into the lives of those here.

It takes a lot of mental energy to try to keep this up, and I am unwell.

I resent the inference that some believe that I use my condition to garner any sort of sympathy. That could not be further from the truth. I am a strong and courageous young woman who keeps going day to day, despite the fact that at the age of 39, I am getting progressively worse.
I am not able to speak properly at the moment.

I just feel despair and sadness at the moment with all this.

Please I do not wish to read any more attacks on my character. I am expressing how I am feeling in this moment.


----------



## Spanky

Tina said:


> I've already eaten it, Santa. *burp* Pardon me. :batting:



Hey! Take it to the Feeder/Feedee lounge, guys!


----------



## Tina

There's nuthin' to take, Sparky -- it's all gone. 



tonynyc said:


> Just more choices - like our television viewing experience ( in the past it was The Big 3 "NBC, ABC, CBS"- a few minor stations and our poor substitute for Cable "UHF")...
> 
> Now we have expanded to Cable and a heck of a lot more choices. If we don't like one show - we can simply change the channel....


That's true, Tony. When there was a fight on the old board it could take up most of the section index page. Now, it's easier to avoid if one wants to. There are parts of the board I am careful to steer clear of...


----------



## Spanky

Tina said:


> There's nuthin' to take, Sparky -- it's all gone.
> 
> 
> That's true, Tony. When there was a fight on the old board it could take up most of the section index page. Now, it's easier to avoid if one wants to. There are parts of the board I am careful to steer clear of...



Tina, since you are tuned in and happily full of cake.....

Do you think threads have been more aggressive since the demise of Hyde Park? I am asking you here as a mod who may see more than we do.


----------



## stan_der_man

tonynyc said:


> Just more choices - like our television viewing experience ( in the past it was The Big 3 "NBC, ABC, CBS"- a few minor stations and our poor substitute for Cable "UHF")...
> 
> Now we have expanded to Cable and a heck of a lot more choices. If we don't like one show - we can simply change the channel....
> 
> Interesting Avatar? is it from a particular comic book?



The artwork is that of Daniel Clowes... This is an image I got from a Ramones video I recently posted. Clowes is a classic, he did screenwriting, comic books, all sorts of things.



Spanky said:


> I think Conrad's point, whether subtle or not...



What was the lesson again Spanky...? I wasn't paying attention... my bad... 

BTW... Whatever you do, don't change the sideburns they work, trust me!


----------



## Tina

Spanky said:


> Tina, since you are tuned in and happily full of cake.....
> 
> Do you think threads have been more aggressive since the demise of Hyde Park? I am asking you here as a mod who may see more than we do.



Not really. Hmmm... maybe. They are more spread out in some ways. There was still flames and fights on the main board and weight board here and there, so it wasn't just HP that could be most problematic in that sense. But as someone who modded that board, adding up all the fighting there as well as on other boards and then comparing it to how it is now without HP, there was way more in HP. I know what you're getting at, though, and think there might be some of that. Like it has a sharper edge in some ways (though some of the HP threads were just purely hateful from the get-go, and others built to that frenzied pitch of hatred). There are, until just more recently, fewer reported posts since HP has closed. I'm not sure what that means. Either there's less fighting or people are giving up. Maybe both.

I think there are just some people who have had problems with each other for a while and that's not going to go away. Some are able to put the other on ignore and try to just be cool and leave it alone; others are unable to do that, and so it will continue. Also, this board and the people on it are more important to some than to others. Some just don't give a shit; others have people here who they consider best friends and family (I'm one of the latter). So it does matter to me what happens with this board and the people on it.

I asked the questions I asked up-thread, because I've been thinking since reading Traci's post about how she sees the thread differently in some ways from how she originally saw it, and that it had taught her something. I think that maybe it's people who try to look at themselves and take inventory are the ones who learn from stuff like this; others maybe not so much. That's more an observation than a value judgment on my part. 

We're all here because of fat, really. Other than that, we're all very different in some important and profound ways, with just as many different expectations and purposes when it comes to this place, so it's bound to cause clashes no matter how many boards there are. 

I'm tired and babbling now...


----------



## Santaclear

Tina said:


> Does anyone feel this was a worthwhile thread?
> 
> Does anyone feel that just saying the things that were said was productive, or make anyone feel better?
> 
> Does anyone feel they have learned anything about themselves in this thread?
> 
> Does anyone feel that maybe some fences have been mended, and if not mended that there is more understanding than before this thread? IOW, was it wasted space and time?



I wouldn't call the thread particularly productive nor unproductive. It's been another slice of life at Dimensions, IMO. The community continues to evolve and morph.

I don't feel we have bullies or victims here, really. The "jungle and wildlife/nature kingdom" analogies get laughable at a certain point, as do comments from the wounded. Sorry, guys. Everyone here who posts regularly enough for people to know them has allies. We are strong.

I wondered if Conrad wasn't being perversely humorous in starting the thread (although perverse humor doesn't seem to be his style.)


----------



## Santaclear

BTW more cake has been ordered and it's on the way.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Did someone say cake?????????????


----------



## Santaclear

Yeah, cake. Last person to post on the thread gets it.


----------



## Wagimawr




----------



## Mini

I think there should be a quarterly Airing of Grievances bash that would hopefully end in one big spite-fuck.

Yes, I think most of the world's problems could be solved with sex. Call me simple-minded but it's hard to get a hate-on when you've just blown your load/caught some seed.


----------



## mergirl

Tina said:


> Does anyone feel this was a worthwhile thread?
> 
> Does anyone feel that just saying the things that were said was productive, or make anyone feel better?
> 
> Does anyone feel they have learned anything about themselves in this thread?
> 
> Does anyone feel that maybe some fences have been mended, and if not mended that there is more understanding than before this thread? IOW, was it wasted space and time?



1. To be honest, at first i thought the post was going to stir up a hornets nest of blame and defence. It kinna did. I think this sort of thing goes on regardless of this thread, so i'm not sure the thread in itself was all that worthwhile. Though i did get to say i would throw people into the bin in scottish, which i have to say was very cathartic!!

2.People wern't exactly saying what they felt. (That gets you banned). People were illuding to what they felt and how they felt about individuals. If someone plain comes out and says something about you, you can either admit to it or defend yourself from it. If you are sneek attacked on many occassions because someone has a problem with you eventually your sense of worth will diminish and you will have a general sense of there being negative energies. This goes for suggesting someone is a victim, liar, hates men, etc etc. 

3.I dont believe people are either bullies/victims. You just can't dichotomise people like that. I am sure there will be parts of what the op said (and Tad's post) that people will identify with but i'm not sure this will then make them want to change. 

4.I actually think for some people, they feel worse. I'm not sure this thread has made anyone feel better though correct me if i'm wrong.


----------



## Angel

Mini said:


> Yes, I think most of the world's problems could be solved with sex. Call me simple-minded but it's hard to get a hate-on when you've just blown your load/caught some seed.



Pondering all this.

Lack of cheesecake? Have sex.

Want a new car? Have sex.

Want a new home? Have sex. 

Want more money? Have sex. 

Depressed? Have sex. 

Lonely? Have sex.

Hungry? Have sex.

Conflicted? Have sex.

Bored? Have sex.

Want to kick a certain someone in the nuts? Have sex. 

Ok. Sounds like a plan. LOL




Note to self: If plan is successful do NOT put "caught some seed" under avatar.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Tina said:


> Okay, so I'm going to make this post. I've gone back and forth on it. Because of my upbringing, I really dislike fighting. It makes me nervous at times. Kinda funny, considering how much of it I used to do on the old boards, but anyway...  This thread was making the backs of my eyeballs itch when Conrad started it, and I honestly just wanted it to go away. But aside from a few continuing snipes here and there, it seems to be fading away now, and the board didn't fracture and sink into the sea, like I was afraid it might. So, some questions, just as me, Tina, not as me, a moderator...
> 
> Does anyone feel this was a worthwhile thread?
> 
> Does anyone feel that just saying the things that were said was productive, or make anyone feel better?
> 
> Does anyone feel they have learned anything about themselves in this thread?
> 
> Does anyone feel that maybe some fences have been mended, and if not mended that there is more understanding than before this thread? IOW, was it wasted space and time?



I think it did a little good on a lower level but mostly harm myself. I suppose it's just the way I operate, I can't stand inuendos and stealthy stuff. It doesn't help, it just leaves people to stand around guessing and pointing fingers here more so than what was already happening. A clear and concise idea of what is and isn't appropriate here in that context is what I prefer personally since you did ask.


----------



## Shosh

LillyBBBW said:


> I think it did a little good on a lower level but mostly harm myself. I suppose it's just the way I operate, I can't stand inuendos and stealthy stuff. It doesn't help, it just leaves people to stand around guessing and pointing fingers here more so than what was already happening. A clear and concise idea of what is and isn't appropriate here in that context is what I prefer personally since you did ask.



Not directing this at you Lilly, just making mention of the fact that I have been occused of being stealthy and making indirect comments etc.
That works both ways.
I have been targeted by one particular person in an indirect way, namely nasty lines under their username, and nasty avatars, and nasty signature lines.
No I am not paranoid, and I am not stupid. The masses may have missed it, but I did not. 
But it seems ok when that person does it.

Tina, I have made mistakes and I am not perfect, but I feel the hate campaign being waged against me by this person is unfair and unwarranted.

Sadly I know that this will fall on deaf ears.


----------



## mergirl

Susannah said:


> Not directing this at you Lilly, just making mention of the fact that I have been occused of being stealthy and making indirect comments etc.
> That works both ways.
> I have been targeted by one particular person in an indirect way, namely nasty lines under their username, and nasty avatars, and nasty signature lines.
> No I am not paranoid, and I am not stupid. The masses may have missed it, but I did not.
> But it seems ok when that person does it.
> 
> Tina, I have made mistakes and I am not perfect, but I feel the hate campaign being waged against me by this person is unfair and unwarranted.
> 
> Sadly I know that this will fall on deaf ears.



Have you talked to the person and told them how you feel?


----------



## steely

*slowly raises hand* I want to be the girl with the most cake.


----------



## Shosh

mergirl said:


> Have you talked to the person and told them how you feel?



It is beyond all that. The person is ruthless and does not care whatsover.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Susannah said:


> Not directing this at you Lilly, just making mention of the fact that I have been occused of being stealthy and making indirect comments etc.
> That works both ways.
> I have been targeted by one particular person in an indirect way, namely nasty lines under their username, and nasty avatars, and nasty signature lines.
> No I am not paranoid, and I am not stupid. The masses may have missed it, but I did not.
> But it seems ok when that person does it.
> 
> Tina, I have made mistakes and I am not perfect, but I feel the hate campaign being waged against me by this person is unfair and unwarranted.
> 
> Sadly I know that this will fall on deaf ears.



See, that's why I feel that those types of things are completely useless. I've posted things in my blog about some nasty guy I met and then immediatley gotten responses from guys I dated previously angrily defending some peculiar act that didn't even register on my radar. And the guy I'm REALLY trying to punch in the nose just chuckles. He couldn't care less because he doesn't think there's anything wrong with what he does. And you'd think I would learn, I still make those types of inuendos because they're lots of fun. 

I think in general most people here aren't unreasonable. A PM to the person askign them to take it down might not be a bad idea. You could say, "Horace* I know we don't get on well on the board but I've always respected your opinion though I don't always agree. I don't know if what you have in your [signature/avatar/profile] pertains to [our/my] conversation in [bla bla] thread but it really seems that way and it's upsetting. I have nothing personal against you but that comment just seems excessivley nasty. Could we just not go there? Could you take it down please?" I really think that shit is just so jr high school anyway. Anybody who goes there _automatically_ loses in my eyes. Can't their arguments stand on their own without this kind of thing? Unfortunatley there is always the worst case scenario where you will get a handful of indignant sputtering and that old run down retort, "It's not about YOU!! LOLOLOLOLLOL, gawd, you think EVERYTHING is about you, wait till I show this to all my friends who PM me and say they love me and agree with me. *polishes Rep cans*" I think it's worth the risk though, you might be surprised by what you hear back.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Lilly are you saying this thread isn't all about me?


----------



## LillyBBBW

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Lilly are you saying this thread isn't all about me?



DAMMIT I just KNEW your real name was Horace! 

ETA: No I just think in general when we're angry we have a tencency to create charicatures of the people we're mad at. I used a standard straw man but people in general tend to be more complex than we give them credit for.


----------



## Ruffie

Susannah said:


> I do not feel that this thread was productive or worthwhile to be honest.
> The same people will still continue with their same poor behaviour. Nought will change on that front.
> There is a cult like mentality where some here are concerned. I guess others wish that they could be openly nasty, so they live vicariously through those that feel at ease with targeting others.
> 
> At this point I am wondering what my place here really is and whether or not I should continue to put my heart and soul into helping others here.
> I try very hard to bring a positive presence into the lives of those here.
> 
> It takes a lot of mental energy to try to keep this up, and I am unwell.
> 
> I resent the inference that some believe that I use my condition to garner any sort of sympathy. That could not be further from the truth. I am a strong and courageous young woman who keeps going day to day, despite the fact that at the age of 39, I am getting progressively worse.
> I am not able to speak properly at the moment.
> 
> I just feel despair and sadness at the moment with all this.
> 
> Please I do not wish to read any more attacks on my character. I am expressing how I am feeling in this moment.



PLease girl do not let others drive you away from this place. I too get I am too nice to be real, a bleeding heart, boring, whiny and any other litany of personal attacks both to my face and behind my back. But if I leave here or chat then those people win. I post or go into chat and sometimes what I say is completely ignored, but go anyway. Remember that is their persona; issues, they don't know you face to face and have made up their opinions on gossip, a few tidbits of information and perhaps even jealousy. I'll be damned if the "popular crowd" will put me in my place again. I come here for the great folks who I have met and choose to engage with them, offer my opinions on subjects that interest me, encourage folks and for entertainment. Simple as that.


----------



## panhype

*clears throat* Wanted to report that i read the whole thread !


----------



## Santaclear

panhype said:


> *clears throat* Wanted to report that i read the whole thread !



I'm sorry, Pan.


----------



## Ernest Nagel

Santaclear said:


> I wouldn't call the thread particularly productive nor unproductive. It's been another slice of life at Dimensions, IMO. The community continues to evolve and morph.
> 
> I don't feel we have bullies or victims here, really. The "jungle and wildlife/nature kingdom" analogies get laughable at a certain point, as do comments from the wounded. Sorry, guys. Everyone here who posts regularly enough for people to know them has allies. We are strong.
> 
> I wondered if Conrad wasn't being perversely humorous in starting the thread (although perverse humor doesn't seem to be his style.)



I dunno for sure? Pain meds are messing badly with my short term memory and it was hard to review this thread for patterns/themes. I think maybe some people view conversations as something you win or lose at? It seems like if you don't have that view of conversations you might actually be at more risk of being characterized as a bully? "Keeping score" in a conversation might tend to amplify perceptions of bullying? 

To be sure there are some people who simply have a cruel or insensitive disposition but I wonder how many people who see bullying as pervasive came from family environments or backgrounds where every discussion was really a debate? I tend to think of the notions that we have to win at everything and all games are zero-sum as predominantly American. Maybe not? Maybe everyone wants desperately to win and anyone perceived as thwarting them is a bully? Thwarted much? Just playing with this; no clue, really.

I remember a physics class long ago where the instructor proclaimed very flatly and matter-of-factly that "right answers are the enemy of science". Maybe they're the enemy of everyone? My head HURTS. Going back to bed.


----------



## exile in thighville

Mini said:


> I think there should be a quarterly Airing of Grievances bash that would hopefully end in one big spite-fuck.



wasn't this the last one?


----------



## Spanky

Santa, be a mensch and give Pan a piece of cake. For his efforts. :bow:

A thin piece. 

The ladies are watching.


----------



## tonynyc

Maybe an entire Cake is in order - after all reading this thread took an awesome cook like Pan away from creating some real tasty goodies...


----------



## Spanky

tonynyc said:


> Maybe an entire Cake is in order - after all reading this thread took an awesome cook like Pan away from creating some real tasty goodies...



Well, looky you. 

You come right in and start getting your bully on.  

View attachment bully_pulpit.jpg


----------



## Surlysomething

I personally think that a thread on a topic that could have been quite interesting ended up being the standard crap pile. 1/4 substance, 3/4 jokes and bullshit. In all honesty, I *wanted* to post my feelings on the subject but got so annoyed with the drivel that I was turned off from it all. Same players. Predictable outcome.

This is MY opinion. I just thought to say, "go ahead and attack me" but then realized, what's the point? Haha.

If you knew me in 'real life' you'd know i'm a pretty funny, sarcastic, laugh-a-lot person, but when a topic doesn't really warrant that and really seems like a good place for an honest discussion yet gets turned into yet another joke, it seems almost pointless to be a part of. Unfortunately (fortunately?) I wear my heart on my sleeve and it's very easy to see where I stand with things. I've also had a hell of a month and could be totally boomeranging my feelings from that into pretty much anything I say these days. 

:bow:

Tina, even when you asked for people's opinions on the thread you got 3-4 worthwhile comments and tons of bullshit. I guess it frustrates me when I truly wish to hear people's actual opinion and get pages of 'cake' talk.


----------



## exile in thighville

Surlysomething said:


> 1/4 substance, 3/4 jokes and bullshit.



hi interweb


----------



## mergirl

Surlysomething said:


> Tina, even when you asked for people's opinions on the thread you got 3-4 worthwhile comments and tons of bullshit. I guess it frustrates me when I truly wish to hear people's actual opinion and get pages of 'cake' talk.



Can't you skim read? Thats what i tend to do..though sometimes if a thread has been a bit heavy sometimes i like a bit of cake talk. It kind of shows somehow that people are still friends.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Susannah said:


> I do not feel that this thread was productive or worthwhile to be honest.
> The same people will still continue with their same poor behaviour. Nought will change on that front.
> There is a cult like mentality where some here are concerned. I guess others wish that they could be openly nasty, so they live vicariously through those that feel at ease with targeting others.
> 
> At this point I am wondering what my place here really is and whether or not I should continue to put my heart and soul into helping others here.
> I try very hard to bring a positive presence into the lives of those here.
> 
> It takes a lot of mental energy to try to keep this up, and I am unwell.
> 
> I resent the inference that some believe that I use my condition to garner any sort of sympathy. That could not be further from the truth. I am a strong and courageous young woman who keeps going day to day, despite the fact that at the age of 39, I am getting progressively worse.
> I am not able to speak properly at the moment.
> 
> I just feel despair and sadness at the moment with all this.
> 
> Please I do not wish to read any more attacks on my character. I am expressing how I am feeling in this moment.




I'd have to disagree, I think this thread served a purpose. I think for some it made them look inward and see some behaviors in themselves that needed to be changed. I think that for others it gave them an opportunity to say some things that really needed to be said. Hopefully now, they can move forward and things that may have been an issue might not be so much of an issue now. I believe people are capable of change if they really want to change. We have seen people here change, learn, and grow. That kind of stuff doesn't happen without the hard to have, hurt your feelings, type of conversations that this thread was.


----------



## tonynyc

*Going retro Spanks... *

*NYUK! NYUK! NYUK !*







*Looks like Curly might have thrown away that last piece of cake- we might have a Rumble in our Hands *


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I have to say that I don't like it that _______ changed her screen name- and it took me a while to realize it was her....


WHY DO YOU PEOPLE KEEP DOING THIS TO ME???? :doh:


----------



## fatgirlflyin

LOL that would be because I'm incognito (I have a stalker).




Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I have to say that I don't like it that changed her screen name- and it took me a while to realize it was her....
> 
> 
> WHY DO YOU PEOPLE KEEP DOING THIS TO ME???? :doh:


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I have to say that I don't like it that Ella Bella changed her screen name- and it took me a while to realize it was her....
> 
> 
> WHY DO YOU PEOPLE KEEP DOING THIS TO ME???? :doh:



Ditto. lol.


----------



## James

I think this thread was worthwhile. Sometimes the best form of maintaining civility is to turn a mirror on everyone and let them see how they are really seen by others. The only thing that Conrad emphasized in his OP was that people should let him know if there are bullies on this forum? I presume that he is quite serious about this as I know he has banned bullies outright in the past.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

fatgirlflyin said:


> LOL that would be because I'm incognito (I have a stalker).




Ooopps! I edited your name out of my original post- quick go edit my quote so they don't know 


"Oh heyyyyyyyyy, WAIT! I got a new complaint........."

I want more menz to post pix in my arm thread 

Someone needs to bully them into showing us the goods.....


----------



## msbard90

best way to not feel bullied or whatever is to take a break from the forums... its how I don't get too pissed off at any particular person


----------



## Spanky

tonynyc said:


> *Going retro Spanks... *
> 
> *NYUK! NYUK! NYUK !*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *Looks like Curly might have thrown away that last piece of cake- we might have a Rumble in our Hands *



Gol dern it. 

That is some funny. 

I lurves me some Three Stooges. And Bush.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

msbard90 said:


> best way to not feel bullied or whatever is to take a break from the forums... its how I don't get too pissed off at any particular person



I fully agree- that "time away" is healing. You cannot control the actions of other people- but you can control your own. People have to know how to take care of themselves. No shame in giving yourself what you need.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Surlysomething said:


> I personally think that a thread on a topic that could have been quite interesting ended up being the standard crap pile. 1/4 substance, 3/4 jokes and bullshit. In all honesty, I *wanted* to post my feelings on the subject but got so annoyed with the drivel that I was turned off from it all. Same players. Predictable outcome.
> 
> This is MY opinion. I just thought to say, "go ahead and attack me" but then realized, what's the point? Haha.
> 
> If you knew me in 'real life' you'd know i'm a pretty funny, sarcastic, laugh-a-lot person, but when a topic doesn't really warrant that and really seems like a good place for an honest discussion yet gets turned into yet another joke, it seems almost pointless to be a part of. Unfortunately (fortunately?) I wear my heart on my sleeve and it's very easy to see where I stand with things. I've also had a hell of a month and could be totally boomeranging my feelings from that into pretty much anything I say these days.
> 
> :bow:
> 
> Tina, even when you asked for people's opinions on the thread you got 3-4 worthwhile comments and tons of bullshit. I guess it frustrates me when I truly wish to hear people's actual opinion and get pages of 'cake' talk.



Last night after pelting you with rocks, Surly, I realized that there was some merit to what you were trying to say. I'm sorry I went off on you like that. In my defense to all appearances it did seem this thread had died an agonizing death already and that the question didn’t apply. I did feel pretty shitty about it after if that's any consolation to you at all. 

This was an issue back in the early days of the forum. People would try to have a serious conversation and almost immediately a few would gather in the thread to play Hee Haw back and fourth. The creation of The Lounge was a direct result of a conversation that complained of this rampant phenomenon and things were well.... for a while. Now it seems it has started all over again and as before, it's always the same people. There's a new element added though this time. Invariably there are people whose sole purpose in every thread is to tell everyone in it how dumb it is and how stupid everyone is for talking about it. 7,022 pages later they are STILL in there posting that "wrong on the internet" photo again. It never occurs to them to just leave if they're not interested in the subject. 

At this point I've gotten better at ignoring most of it but it has drawbacks. I keep getting notices that there are new posts in the thread, go there and it's another quacker. This goes on for quite some time but I'm afraid to unsubscribe because someone might actually say something interesting and the thread will pick up again, like now. (*hangs head in shame* Sorry again Surly) It's not that I don't have a sense of humor. Humor is always good unless it's a hijacking which in that case I would be against it.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

LillyBBBW said:


> Invariably there are people whose sole purpose in every thread is to tell everyone in it how dumb it is and how stupid everyone is for talking about it. 7,022 pages later they are STILL in there posting that "wrong on the internet" photo again. It never occurs to them to just leave if they're not interested in the subject.




Agreed, I've been frustrated by this a number of times in many threads, including this one. I get that it may seem stupid to someone, but it doesn't mean that its not a discussion worth having to someone else. There are lots of threads that I find ridiculous, I don't begrudge anyone the right to have those conversations, I just don't participate in them.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

So then, this thread isn't about me?? 

Where's the damn cake!


----------



## Tina

Surlysomething said:


> Tina, even when you asked for people's opinions on the thread you got 3-4 worthwhile comments and tons of bullshit. I guess it frustrates me when I truly wish to hear people's actual opinion and get pages of 'cake' talk.


I think people do this for a variety of reasons, Tina, and sometimes it bothers me, too, but I'm also one who is able to go back and forth between seriousness and play, so it doesn't bother me too much. I knew when asking the questions that I'd get some serious answers and some cake (and I really never mind cake, personally...).


Sandie_Zitkus said:


> So then, this thread isn't about me??
> 
> Where's the damn cake!


Mine is waiting for me at Jano's Portugese restaurant in Montreal.  I'll share with you, if you like. We'll bring stones and jewelry findings and make jewelry together while we eat cake. I'll bring the rutilated and tourmalinated quartz. We on?


----------



## Spanky

Tina said:


> I think people do this for a variety of reasons, Tina, and sometimes it bothers me, too, but I'm also one who is able to go back and forth between seriousness and play, so it doesn't bother me too much. I knew when asking the questions that I'd get some serious answers and some cake (and I really never mind cake, personally...).
> 
> Mine is waiting for me at Jano's Portugese restaurant in Montreal.  I'll share with you, if you like. We'll bring stones and jewelry findings and make jewelry together while we eat cake. I'll bring the rutilated and tourmalinated quartz. We on?



Tina, your post is exactly a mix of what I thought threads can look like. You start with your opinion to another's post, then respond to some levity Sandie is making. Newspapers, magazines, blogs are not all words, spaces and run-on full justification columns. There are annoying ads for some, interesting pictures, intriguing ads for others and they are all intermixed with the stuff you bought the news/magazine print for, supposedly. 

I can see Surly's point to some extent and I respect her right to make it. I also cannot come to making a big deal out of it. I do not like people posting the fact they think the thread is stupid and not add anything to it. Move along. And right quick. If you make a well written reason WHY and back it up with well thought out ideas, then be my guest. 

I feel that if I am in a thread posting my opinion, as asked for by the OP, in this case the Chief, I will give it, respond to others and YES, dang nabbit, then feeling part of the thread contributors, I may post a joke or a pic off topic to the exact OP but in the spirit of adding levity. No derailing. No meanness. No ulterior motives. 

In the meantime, post pix of that probably divine cake! 

Ooops, I did it again......:doh:


----------



## cinnamitch

Spanky said:


> In the meantime, post pix of that probably divine cake!
> 
> *Ooops, I did it again......:doh:*




Yes you did Brittney

I am looking forward to seeing you in the school girl outfit Mr/Ms Spanky/Spears


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Oh hell yeah Tina!:bow:




Tina said:


> I think people do this for a variety of reasons, Tina, and sometimes it bothers me, too, but I'm also one who is able to go back and forth between seriousness and play, so it doesn't bother me too much. I knew when asking the questions that I'd get some serious answers and some cake (and I really never mind cake, personally...).
> 
> Mine is waiting for me at Jano's Portugese restaurant in Montreal.  I'll share with you, if you like. We'll bring stones and jewelry findings and make jewelry together while we eat cake. I'll bring the rutilated and tourmalinated quartz. We on?


----------



## Tina

Wish I could post a pic of that cake, Spanks. It is one of the only foods that when I take a bite I moan a little. It's that good. :eat2: But, alas, no website with pics, just review sites and no mention of the cake. Their food is damned good, and reasonable, too (which is saying something, as it seems everything is more expensive over here)!

I think there are some threads where it's more important than others to cut down on the levity, and I think it's important to just skip over the pics and playful posts if one really wants to contribute or get something from a thread. Fact is, we all have different ways of communicating and different ways of dealing with serious issues. Not everyone can be serious about serious issues, even if it's something important to them, and I recognize that. I'm able to be serious, but I also can understand the desire to be playful. Also, the tendency to, if things are getting frustrating and/or stupid in the person's mind, to post something that is visually sarcastic, because even though what's being discussed is important, and to them, too, they maybe feel that no one is going to believe or understand them, and no matter what, cake is always good.

Not everyone has the ability to go back and forth and still keep the seriousness in mind even while playing. And some also don't have the ability to address serious things seriously for very long. I think it's just emblematic of our differences, and how groups of people, no matter their reason for gathering, need to be able to be somewhat fluid and understanding of the variation in personal style. I think where it hits a wall is when someone is just being flat out mean. Then we have to step in, and it's my least favorite part of moderating. I don't like to be told what to do, so I understand when others don't like it, too. Even though the thread made me nervous at first, I like that it wasn't really moderated much. I think there is a place for protected forums and forums with more moderation, and a place for forums with less or no -- except for things that are truly not allowed, like the re-posting of PMs and such (not a dig at you, Mer, because not everyone is aware that it's not allowed in any form -- and BTW, I, too, loved your very Scottish post and want to hear you actually say it).

Is ice cream cake allowed? Baskin-Robbins! Who's with me? :eat2: They still make Baseball Nut? I love that!


----------



## OneWickedAngel

I have read/skimmed through this entire exchange - I'm stubborn that way.

I have only been a regular contributor to Dims since February, so I know I am still a newbie here. I have read reactions to posts I written where I wound up scratching my head in serious WTF? confusion. I'll also freely admit the first few BGB, Exile, Mossy and TraciJo and a handful of other dimmers postings I read had me either  or :doh:; but I get their styles and I just flow with it now. Though I still face-palm on occasion . (Yes, I ended the previous sentence with a smiley, make of it what you will.) 

I once had my head handed to me by an experienced dimmer when I brought up what was a dead-horse topic (to them). She didn't know that I had searched through five pages of history before I posted. I didn't know I apparently should have searched through ten pages of history in a different forum all together. It takes a moment to figure these things out, so please be nice to the brand newbies okay?

When, in a serious thread I have read enough overt and covert snarkiness and blatant nastiness in some threads to give pause. I have quickly learned when posting that what is an obvious tongue-in-cheek ditty in my head, which would have been completely understood as such if spoken, comes of very differently when in printed form. I have had a couple of posts disappear, though I have managed to stay off Conrad's "M" list so far. I tend to consider my words very carefully before pressing that "Submit Reply" button because while I have a thick skin, I see no point in proving its toughness by getting it dinged-up unnecessarily. I'm including a couple of my own accidental thread derailers, where I made (what I thought) would be a quick bon mot and then back to the subject at hand only to have it picked-up and ran with.

And speaking of excellent segues... (passes cake down.) Next...!


----------



## Surlysomething

Spanky said:


> Tina, your post is exactly a mix of what I thought threads can look like. You start with your opinion to another's post, then respond to some levity Sandie is making. Newspapers, magazines, blogs are not all words, spaces and run-on full justification columns. There are annoying ads for some, interesting pictures, intriguing ads for others and they are all intermixed with the stuff you bought the news/magazine print for, supposedly.
> 
> I can see Surly's point to some extent and I respect her right to make it. I also cannot come to making a big deal out of it. I do not like people posting the fact they think the thread is stupid and not add anything to it. Move along. And right quick. If you make a well written reason WHY and back it up with well thought out ideas, then be my guest.
> 
> I feel that if I am in a thread posting my opinion, as asked for by the OP, in this case the Chief, I will give it, respond to others and YES, dang nabbit, then feeling part of the thread contributors, I may post a joke or a pic off topic to the exact OP but in the spirit of adding levity. No derailing. No meanness. No ulterior motives.
> 
> In the meantime, post pix of that probably divine cake!
> 
> Ooops, I did it again......:doh:




I explained why I didn't add to the thread. You took it upon yourself to address me personally. I shouldn't have to keep expressing my opinion on it. The fact that you can't see how you derail threads is humorous all on it's own. We all have differing opinions on 'levity' and I find yours distasteful most of the time. If this was the lounge, ok.


----------



## mergirl

Surlysomething said:


> I explained why I didn't add to the thread. You took it upon yourself to address me personally. I shouldn't have to keep expressing my opinion on it. The fact that you can't see how you derail threads is humorous all on it's own. We all have differing opinions on 'levity' and I find yours distasteful most of the time. If this was the lounge, ok.



This thread should be in the lounge, maby he got confused!


----------



## Surlysomething

mergirl said:


> This thread should be in the lounge, maby he got confused!




Could be!


----------



## Fascinita

Hi everyone,

Was it good for you, too?


----------



## Paquito

Fascinita said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> Was it good for you, too?



No, my cake was dry and completely lacking in icing. 

And damnit, I wanted real buttercream frosting, not this Walmart bulls***!


----------



## tonynyc

free2beme04 said:


> No, my cake was dry and completely lacking in icing.
> 
> And damnit, I wanted real buttercream frosting, not this Walmart bulls***!



have a twinkie you f- cake snob


----------



## Paquito

tonynyc said:


> have a twinkie you f- cake snob



Deep fried kthnxbai.

*Turns up nose and walks off until the twinkies are immersed in the finest frying oils*


----------



## BarbBBW

tonynyc said:


> have a twinkie you f- cake snob



mmm i have to admit I bought a box of these had 10 in there i ate 8 of them , i didnt share very well LOL:eat1:


----------



## mergirl

Hmm.. see i'm still trying to work out whether this thread was:
An attempt at a witch hunt.?
An attempt to clear the air amongst members.?
An attempt to cause a shit storm amonsts members.?
Or a reminder that Big Brother is watching?

What was the reason for this sudden concern for the bullied people of dimensions?
Has there been a rise in Bullying here recently?

I must admit i find this thread really confusing..
I must admit i DO like the cakes though...


----------



## daddyoh70

BarbBBW said:


> mmm i have to admit I bought a box of these had 10 in there i ate 8 of them , i didnt share very well LOL:eat1:



Well how in the hell are you supposed to share when they only put 10 of the damn things in there to start with.

Oh and free2beme04, this one's for you


----------



## LillyBBBW

mergirl said:


> Hmm.. see i'm still trying to work out whether this thread was:
> An attempt at a witch hunt.?
> An attempt to clear the air amongst members.?
> An attempt to cause a shit storm amonsts members.?
> Or a reminder that Big Brother is watching?
> 
> What was the reason for this sudden concern for the bullied people of dimensions?
> Has there been a rise in Bullying here recently?
> 
> I must admit i find this thread really confusing..
> I must admit i DO like the cakes though...



Well I HATE cake dammit. Cake is dry, too sugary, strange textures, etc. It only tastes good when there's ice cream. :smitten: Now THERE'S a good combo. Chocolate birthday cake with white frosting and vanilla bean ice cream. *drools* And that's my opinyun.

Although I must confess, I did have a conversation with someone who felt that the bullying had gotten way out of hand. I hadn't noticed it myself but this person seemed rather distressed about it but unwilling to get their hands dirty by entering in to the fray. I told them that if they really felt legit that the offenders had violated some rule or something then they should complain about it. Next thing I knew this thread appeared. I don't know if this person complained but I reckon if one person felt this way there had to be others. I'm guessing somebody felt they'd seen enough and took it to the chief.


----------



## BarbBBW

daddyoh70 said:


> Well how in the hell are you supposed to share when they only put 10 of the damn things in there to start with.
> 
> Oh and free2beme04, this one's for you



LMFAO exactly!!! well i did my kid ONE and hubby ONE so i think that was kind of me hehehe


----------



## aussiefa63

I'm new here, but I knwo all about forum bullies as I was an admin for a gaming community for 5 yrs with close to 25,000 registered members. We had a 3 strike system & it seems that most forum bullies seem to have absolutely no understanding of the fact that they are being bullish. You would give them a warning via the PM system & that would often result in the admins copping a tirade of abuse or they'd simply ignore the warning & keep up their bad bahaviour, which would lead to a banning & then they'd give a bleeding heart story about how much the site means to them. 

So my take on forum bullies is that most aren't very bright


----------



## Spanky

LillyBBBW said:


> Well I HATE cake dammit. Cake is dry, too sugary, strange textures, etc. It only tastes good when there's ice cream. :smitten: Now THERE'S a good combo. Chocolate birthday cake with white frosting and vanilla bean ice cream. *drools* And that's my opinyun.
> 
> Although I must confess, I did have a conversation with someone who felt that the bullying had gotten way out of hand. I hadn't noticed it myself but this person seemed rather distressed about it but unwilling to get their hands dirty by entering in to the fray. I told them that if they really felt legit that the offenders had violated some rule or something then they should complain about it. Next thing I knew this thread appeared. I don't know if this person complained but I reckon if one person felt this way there had to be others. I'm guessing somebody felt they'd seen enough and took it to the chief.



I don't know if I have ever heard from anyone saying they felt bullied. No one has posted saying they have been bullied. Some observers might see the actions of others as bullying, but isn't really dependent on the feeling of the person who is being possibly bullied whether they ARE being bullied? 

I have had newer people mention feeling trepidation wandering into Dimensions as sideline newbie observers. Sometimes I wonder how many of us would feel coming into Dims today. Would it be more difficult navigating?


----------



## Donna

Tina said:


> Okay, so I'm going to make this post. I've gone back and forth on it. Because of my upbringing, I really dislike fighting. It makes me nervous at times. Kinda funny, considering how much of it I used to do on the old boards, but anyway...  This thread was making the backs of my eyeballs itch when Conrad started it, and I honestly just wanted it to go away. But aside from a few continuing snipes here and there, it seems to be fading away now, and the board didn't fracture and sink into the sea, like I was afraid it might. So, some questions, just as me, Tina, not as me, a moderator...
> 
> Does anyone feel this was a worthwhile thread?
> 
> Does anyone feel that just saying the things that were said was productive, or make anyone feel better?
> 
> Does anyone feel they have learned anything about themselves in this thread?
> 
> Does anyone feel that maybe some fences have been mended, and if not mended that there is more understanding than before this thread? IOW, was it wasted space and time?



I practically fell out of my chair when I read this thread right after Conrad posted it on Sunday. I told my friends privately at the time I thought this thread would start out with whining, devolve into fighting and end up being a clusterfuck, eventually being locked. And the thread did not disappoint, though it looks like perhaps we might avoid the thread being locked? I hope so anyway. However, like TraciJo, I think much differently about this thread now; and I think much differently about myself and about other Dims posters. My previous negative opinion of a couple people has been softened, and my previously ambiguous opinion of a few others has turned sour. 

I cannot speak for anyone else, but I think this thread was worthwhile. A painful lesson for some of us, for sure. One I hope does not come with a hefty pricetag later on. But worthwhile nonetheless. 

I think we are all taking lessons both good and bad from this thread. I was recently searching a quote site looking for a positive quotation for my email signature at work, something that would remind me of the importance of making positive change. And I ran across this quote from Mary Engelbreit, "If you don't like something, change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it." I think that might apply to this situation. 

That's my two cents. Now I am off to find some cake...and perhaps some ice cream to go with it.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Spanky said:


> I don't know if I have ever heard from anyone saying they felt bullied. No one has posted saying they have been bullied. Some observers might see the actions of others as bullying, but isn't really dependent on the feeling of the person who is being possibly bullied whether they ARE being bullied?
> 
> I have had newer people mention feeling trepidation wandering into Dimensions as sideline newbie observers. Sometimes I wonder how many of us would feel coming into Dims today. Would it be more difficult navigating?



When I first came to Dims I felt the same way. *shrugs* This place is chock full of smart people, that's what made me stay. I spend my life surrounded by dodos so it was enhancing for me to be around forward thinking people. I kept it very neutral for a long time afraid I would say something dumb but eventually felt comfortable enough to speak my mind. I would say a lot of my own personal growth over the last few years occured from cutting my teeth here among this group which is why I've come to love it so much. The fact that people feel trepidation coming here doesn't surprise me. I do feel there is just a wee bit more of an attack dog feel here than what I remember though. I don't know if that's real or if it's just the formatting of this board as opposed to the other. I know I wouldn't bring my little sister here though. She says dumb stuff all the time and I'd be wearing myself out having to defend her here and console her crying.


----------



## KHayes666

Spanky said:


> I don't know if I have ever heard from anyone saying they felt bullied. No one has posted saying they have been bullied. Some observers might see the actions of others as bullying, but isn't really dependent on the feeling of the person who is being possibly bullied whether they ARE being bullied?
> 
> I have had newer people mention feeling trepidation wandering into Dimensions as sideline newbie observers. Sometimes I wonder how many of us would feel coming into Dims today. Would it be more difficult navigating?



That's one of the points I've been making. Why the hell should people have to be "shot down" like BarbBBW was when she first came?

I think online bullying is no different than real bullying, if someone doesn't stand up then the bullying continues. Once you go toe to toe with the bullies and you haven't been banned or they backed off....then you can feel better about yourself.

But seriously, is THIS the atmopshere that Dims has degenerated into? I can't say 5 words without offending somebody no matter how damn small a reference, joke or message was, another guy can't go 5 words without U.C.O.C. swarming on him just because he's male, "newbs" (i hate that word) have to be shot down and thrown around before they're "accepted", and the one thing that steams my clams more than anything.....the same people that cause so much trouble, insult so many people and do more harm than good are allowed to do it without reprimand and continue to post.

Normally I wouldn't care as it happens in almost every large forum I'm on whether its Star Trek fans or Sports Teams or whatever...there are a-holes you can't shut up even if you had a gun in their mouth, but this is supposed to be Acceptance, and other than a few threads I see little of that going on. But this is just my opinion based on what I've seen with my own two eyes.


----------



## James

Donna said:


> I think much differently about this thread now; and I think much differently about myself and about other Dims posters. My previous negative opinion of a couple people has been softened, and my previously ambiguous opinion of a few others has turned sour.



Donna, My opinion of several posters has also risen as a result of this thread (not that my opinion of them was especially negative previously)... Some people have reacted to the light being shined on them less contemplatively than others though.



Donna said:


> ... quote from Mary Engelbreit, "If you don't like something, change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it." I think that might apply to this situation.



Thats an excellent quote and certainly one worth keeping in mind at Dims...


----------



## Spanky

LillyBBBW said:


> When I first came to Dims I felt the same way. *shrugs* This place is chock full of smart people, that's what made me stay. I spend my life surrounded by dodos so it was enhancing for me to be around forward thinking people. I kept it very neutral for a long time afraid I would say something dumb but eventually felt comfortable enough to speak my mind. I would say a lot of my own personal growth over the last few years occured from cutting my teeth here among this group which is why I've come to love it so much. The fact that people feel trepidation coming here doesn't surprise me.



I guess I was wondering if this person about whom you were talking had been at Dims awhile or not. The seasoned people here might have the same bullying thrown at them and not have it affect them so much. But to a newer member, it could come across as devastating. 

I agree with your last statement. I have seen first time posters use the wrong term or designation for a group, purely unintentional, and YES probably a little rough around the edges or lacking in some forum manners, and get corrected on it right away. While it might be a correction to a seasoned member, it is publicly embarrassing to someone coming into the forum for the first time. 

And I don't even know if it is bullying by the definition. Outside of Hyde Park, I just wonder if seasoned members have felt bullied.


----------



## Spanky

I suddenly want to re-read The Lord of the Flies. 

Are you a Ralph, a Jack or a Piggy?

edited:

Maybe I should explain. This book uses symbolism to show how humans (in this case) organize themselves on many levels. Out of nothing, a remote island with no adults in the book's case, or a twinkle in Webmaster's mind so many years ago, we have created some sort of a social order. There are those that honor it and let it be, others that fight it and still others that fight to keep it the way it is. 

Our own little island. Conrad's Island.

Are the bullies the ones fighting to keep it the same? Fighting to change it to what they want it to be?


----------



## James

Spanky said:


> I suddenly want to re-read The Lord of the Flies.
> 
> Are you a Ralph, a Jack or a Piggy?
> 
> edited:
> 
> Maybe I should explain. This book uses symbolism to show how humans (in this case) organize themselves on many levels. Out of nothing, a remote island with no adults in the book's case, or a twinkle in Webmaster's mind so many years ago, we have created some sort of a social order. There are those that honor it and let it be, others that fight it and still others that fight to keep it the way it is.
> 
> Our own little island. Conrad's Island.
> 
> Are the bullies the ones fighting to keep it the same? Fighting to change it to what they want it to be?



I remember reading LOTF and empathizing most with Ralph... Although I think there are elements of each character that probably apply to all of us.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Spanky said:


> I guess I was wondering if this person about whom you were talking had been at Dims awhile or not. The seasoned people here might have the same bullying thrown at them and not have it affect them so much. But to a newer member, it could come across as devastating.
> 
> I agree with your last statement. I have seen first time posters use the wrong term or designation for a group, purely unintentional, and YES probably a little rough around the edges or lacking in some forum manners, and get corrected on it right away. While it might be a correction to a seasoned member, it is publicly embarrassing to someone coming into the forum for the first time.
> 
> And I don't even know if it is bullying by the definition. Outside of Hyde Park, I just wonder if seasoned members have felt bullied.



I have. I've been in threads, though not lately, where I've seen a member or members go postal on somebody where I thought it was just way over the top. And because they had a bad scene with that poster in thread X, now every time that poster says anything they follow it up with some snarky barb intended to lampoon or demean them. I didn't like it and wanted to say something but my iron was too low and I just didn't want to be bothered with a confrontation that will go on forever and attract c0rn around it so I let it pass. Sometimes I get the impression that if I speak up and give my unpopular opinion then I'm ruining everything for everyone. Is it bullying? Maybe not, I guess you just can't win them all and that's the way it goes. This thread is turning out to be more so a question of personality type. "Everybody functions differently and somehow everyone must try to be understanding and get along." That's fair enough but somehow this sense of compromise seemingly tends to fall consistently moreso on the shoulders of one group of individuals than the other. Sometimes I feel that way, I admit.


----------



## Fascinita

I'll say this: What I dislike most about this thread is that it seems to have become an opportunity for finger-pointing and chest-beating. I suppose it's easier to want to pretend that people are all good or all bad. The troubling thing is that attempts to make out particular people as the bad guys are so often pinned on the accuser painting a picture of himself as a complete angel. 

As well, I don't know anyone on this board who doesn't bring something interesting or good or just weird enough to be thought-provoking along in measure with whatever wrongs they're accused of committing. If we're going to focus solely on the supposed ugly qualities of posters, what's next? Flushing out forum fools? Public stonings of forum liars? Running forum perverts out of town?


----------



## kayrae

Oh, I most definitely would read a forum liars thread as well as a forum perverts thread.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

KHayes666 said:


> That's one of the points I've been making. Why the hell should people have to be "shot down" like BarbBBW was when she first came?
> 
> I think online bullying is no different than real bullying, if someone doesn't stand up then the bullying continues. Once you go toe to toe with the bullies and you haven't been banned or they backed off....then you can feel better about yourself.
> 
> But seriously, is THIS the atmopshere that Dims has degenerated into? I can't say 5 words without offending somebody no matter how damn small a reference, joke or message was, another guy can't go 5 words without U.C.O.C. swarming on him just because he's male, "newbs" (i hate that word) have to be shot down and thrown around before they're "accepted", and the one thing that steams my clams more than anything.....the same people that cause so much trouble, insult so many people and do more harm than good are allowed to do it without reprimand and continue to post.
> 
> Normally I wouldn't care as it happens in almost every large forum I'm on whether its Star Trek fans or Sports Teams or whatever...there are a-holes you can't shut up even if you had a gun in their mouth, but this is supposed to be Acceptance, and other than a few threads I see little of that going on. But this is just my opinion based on what I've seen with my own two eyes.










Fascinita said:


> I'll say this: What I dislike most about this thread is that it seems to have become an opportunity for finger-pointing and chest-beating. I suppose it's easier to want to pretend that people are all good or all bad. The troubling thing is that attempts to make out particular people as the bad guys are so often pinned on the accuser painting a picture of himself as a complete angel.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Spanky said:


> ...snip...
> 
> I have had newer people mention feeling trepidation wandering into Dimensions as sideline newbie observers. Sometimes I wonder how many of us would feel coming into Dims today. Would it be more difficult navigating?



I'd have to say yes for the sheer volume of content. When I first joined Dims last year, I really knew no one. The first discussions I saw were dozens of pages long. I accidentally jumped into a conversation that had switched and got a little tarred and feathered for not knowing what the hell I was talking about. Some discussions started off as one thing, but 40 pages down when you wanted to make a comment and read what the latest poster had said, you have no idea what the discussion is about any more, especially if the last few posts are suddenly about say cake? There are so many intelligent people on Dims, but some can be such major bitches especially to newbies. And let's not mention the some the viciousness that was Hyde Park. I dropped Dims for several months because because of it. I met LilyBBBW and a few others at bashes and Lipmixgirl convinced me to come back in. Even so I switched to the games and pictures section simply because it was easier to just jump in and simply lurked around the discussions. 

I know several Dimmers who are not fans of all the games, but I think it is a quick way to learn a lot of names while getting your name out there if you're not quite ready to be a "Pic Vixen" or jump into discussions. 

The various picture threads are great because you get to put names and faces together and you get to show a little of your personality to boot. By the time I journeyed my way back into the serious discussions I was then semi-known and it was much easier. Especially after I finally figured out how to find New Posts where I had better chances of getting into discussions at the beginning and not feel like I was constantly playing catch up. 

And this is coming from me. Imagine someone young and really shy trying to find his/her way here. I'm not surprised anymore when someone posts things along the lines of "I've been a part of Dims for a while now, but I just lurked" because of it. You do need to have a certain level of thick skin to post a strong opinion here because everyone is going to get their ass handed to them at some point.


----------



## Spanky

OneWickedAngel said:


> You do need to have a certain level of thick skin to post a strong opinion here because everyone is going to get their ass handed to them at some point.



Yes. :bow:


----------



## fatgirlflyin

KHayes666 said:


> That's one of the points I've been making. Why the hell should people have to be "shot down" like BarbBBW was when she first came?



I was one of the people that was pretty hard on Barb when she first came. Something about her just rubbed me the wrong way, we traded words and for a while I just ignored her posts. Then I read some stuff she wrote where I could see that she wasn't totally the way I had imagined her to be. I still am irritated (no offense Barb, really) by a lot of her posts just because they are just so sexual, but I know there is another layer to her. She just chooses to bring out the flirty layer more often than not. Who knows, if I were better at it maybe I would too. 

Also regarding some people being able to say stuff and not having anything happen, sometimes it just doesnt' get reported. The mods can't read every post in every thread, so if you see something that offends you, that's against the rules, report it. You called someone a ****** in one of your posts recently, Khayes. Was that post removed? I certainly don't remember a flame war, though one would have been deserved IMO.



Spanky said:


> And I don't even know if it is bullying by the definition. Outside of Hyde Park, I just wonder if seasoned members have felt bullied.



I don't know that I'd call it bullying but I've been at the bottom of my share of dog piles. I've been coming around Dimensions for 8-9 years I think, and I don't know anyone who's been here for any length of time who hasn't found themselves on the shitty end of the stick. I KNOW that there are people here who don't like me but for the most part they ignore my posts I try to do the same with the people I don't care for. 



Fascinita said:


> As well, I don't know anyone on this board who doesn't bring something interesting or good or just weird enough to be thought-provoking along in measure with whatever wrongs they're accused of committing.



Gotta agree here, everyone brings something to the table. I may not agree with everyone's opinions or thought processes but most of the time they give me soemthing to think about. Even if I hate it...


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## TraciJo67

Fascinita said:


> I'll say this: What I dislike most about this thread is that it seems to have become an opportunity for finger-pointing and chest-beating. I suppose it's easier to want to pretend that people are all good or all bad. The troubling thing is that attempts to make out particular people as the bad guys are so often pinned on the accuser painting a picture of himself as a complete angel.
> 
> As well, I don't know anyone on this board who doesn't bring something interesting or good or just weird enough to be thought-provoking along in measure with whatever wrongs they're accused of committing. If we're going to focus solely on the supposed ugly qualities of posters, what's next? Flushing out forum fools? Public stonings of forum liars? Running forum perverts out of town?



This.

I am trying to understand the insistence on polarization of viewpoints. There are personas within this forum that I dislike, but I know very little about the real people behind them and I do understand that a collection of words posted on a message board -- even within the context of a lengthy history of posting -- is not a sum total representation of that person. We are not all good or all bad, just as you said. We are all flawed. And good. And a little bit evil. And petty. And generous. And I think sometimes that the things that we secretly loathe (or fear) about ourselves are often the very things that we despise in others. 

Conrad, I didn't like the idea of this thread at first, nor did I understand it. I think that I do now. And if I come away with nothing else but this, it's worth it to me: We all got the opportunity to hold the mirror on ourselves. Some will choose to reflect on it, other's won't (or maybe even can't, at least not yet). 

I love Dimensions. I am, in fact, addicted to it  But ultimately, it is a place that I go to for recreational activities. I am not so emotionally vested that I could get seriously hurt by anything that someone says. Not to say that it doesn't matter -- just that I try to keep its priority for my life in perspective. If I ever felt that I could be truly harmed by anything said or done here, I would have to question how emotionally healthy I am, and take whatever steps necessary to restore some kind of balance. That said, I do understand that people make real connections and friendships. I have, and I value them, and I know that words can hurt. I've felt angry or hurt by things that people have said. But I am ultimately able to let it go rather quickly, shrug it off, and sometimes I learn from the experience. Much as I love Dimensions ... buh-bye if ever I reach a point where I can't do that. A break is probably in order for anyone who reaches that point.


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## pani

Some bullies are obvious but others are subversive. I always wonder about those people who seem to be in agreement with the most hurtful of fatphobic attacks by the greater society. When one considers one comes to a SA board for support, I wonder if they ever think of the impact they have. Even if they genuinely agree with ideas like taxing fat people or other such nonsense, why express it on a SA board? If they are not trolls, they must be very selfish. Like the family member who has to rebel for rebellion sake, never caring about the consequences to others. I would much rather deal with an in your face bully than someone who pretends to be my friend in one way, but kills me softly at the same time. At least one knows where one stands with the first kind. Unfortunately, the second kind seems to have more influence every time I pop by here. I remember one commentator that claimed the SA movement was dead. Not, it is stronger than ever in many ways. No, it has just left people like him behind.


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## Sandie_Zitkus

I don't feel welcome here anymore - bottom line. yup it's the bullies. I'm 49 years old - I'm too old and too disgusted with what I see here on Dims to put up with the bullying and to post much anymore. So - that's all.


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## BarbBBW

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I don't feel welcome here anymore - bottom line. yup it's the bullies. I'm 49 years old - I'm too old and too disgusted with what I see here on Dims to put up with the bullying and to post much anymore. So - that's all.



well Sandie, I adore you and I like your post!! Then again most of the bullies dont like me just as much as they dont like you soo,.. come sit with me LOL


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## Sandie_Zitkus

I love you too Barb and the way you were treated by some in this community when you first joined was disgusting. Let's get some Tequila and chat!:wubu:



BarbBBW said:


> well Sandie, I adore you and I like your post!! Then again most of the bullies dont like me just as much as they dont like you soo,.. come sit with me LOL


----------



## BarbBBW

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I love you too Barb and the way you were treated by some in this community when you first joined was disgusting. Let's get some Tequila and chat!:wubu:



I would Love to Sandie!! Thank you babe!! I hope you are coming to the NJ 
BBW bash??:bow:


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## thatgirl08

Holy shit. I go away for three days and this thread like triples in length. 



Fascinita said:


> She was "speaking" rhetorically. And it's gonna be OK. All right, now. Shamm awn.
> 
> *offers you a glass of Chablis and a chill pill... tussles your hair*



Yeah, my b. I totally misread that post. 



jcorbi83 said:


> Youd be surprised.



Rhetorical question. Maybe you should stick to the plus-size paysite board.


----------



## Hathor

If I don't like someone on a forum, whether I view them as a bully or just a straight up asshole, I put them on ignore. It's a nifty forum feature that makes their posts disappear. I recommend that everyone try it sometime.


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## thatgirl08

I honestly hate using ignore. It's so much more fun to argue with said bully/asshole.


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## superodalisque

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I don't feel welcome here anymore - bottom line. yup it's the bullies. I'm 49 years old - I'm too old and too disgusted with what I see here on Dims to put up with the bullying and to post much anymore. So - that's all.



don't give up. thats what people want you to do. you are just as valuable as anyone else. your opinions have value whether people agree or not.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Hathor said:


> If I don't like someone on a forum, whether I view them as a bully or just a straight up asshole, I put them on ignore. It's a nifty forum feature that makes their posts disappear. I recommend that everyone try it sometime.



I've never used ignore and there are several people who annoy the hell out of me. I however, don't have the need to always be right or always have the last word. If someone annoys me then I just look at a different thread. lol. I don't really think it is that hard. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. However, if I did use the ignore function, it might save me from having to hear about daily chair activism, lol. 

Maybe I'm weird, but how can you get the whole picture of the thread if you can't see everything in it?


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## thatgirl08

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Maybe I'm weird, but how can you get the whole picture of the thread if you can't see everything in it?



I feel this way as well. I just don't like feeling like I am missing out on something, even if it's something I'm going to disagree with.


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## Sandie_Zitkus

Oh no Barb. I don't have any illusion of Wayne and I being welcome at any bash either.




BarbBBW said:


> I would Love to Sandie!! Thank you babe!! I hope you are coming to the NJ
> BBW bash??:bow:


----------



## thatgirl08

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Oh no Barb. I don't have any illusion of Wayne and I being welcome at any bash either.



You really don't have to play the victim in every post.


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## Shosh

thatgirl08 said:


> You really don't have to play the victim in every post.



She is just stating how she feels. I dislike it when the victim label is trotted out.
Sandie has the right to say how she feels without being labelled.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

thatgirl08 said:


> You really don't have to play the victim in every post.



Thank you for proving my point so well.But honestly I'm sick to death of your snotty sarcastic attitude with me. I don't recall ever even posting to you except when you pulled this shit with me. You don't like me? Big fucking deal. 

I was asked a question and I answered it. You are one of the bullies on these boards and what gives you the right to come waltzing into Dimensions and sit on your high horse and judge everybody?? Have a life first. You make me sick to my stomach.


----------



## Surlysomething

NOW the thread is dead.

:bow:


----------



## Weeze

Personal Attack
Personal Attack
Personal Attack
Personal Attack
Personal Attack
Personal Attack
Personal Attack
Personal Attack
Personal Attack
Personal Attack
Personal Attack
Personal Attack
Personal Attack
Personal Attack
Personal Attack
Personal Attack
Personal Attack
Personal Attack
Personal Attack
Personal Attack


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## mergirl

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I don't feel welcome here anymore - bottom line. yup it's the bullies. I'm 49 years old - I'm too old and too disgusted with what I see here on Dims to put up with the bullying and to post much anymore. So - that's all.


Sandie, whenever i see fights with you involved, you always seem to be giving as good as you got and sometimes what you didn't get. Though apparently i miss a Lot of stuff here so many i have no idea about what level things get to. 




BarbBBW said:


> well Sandie, I adore you and I like your post!! Then again most of the bullies dont like me just as much as they dont like you soo,.. come sit with me LOL


Hmm.. see i find this sad. I think you ARE flirtatious, but i'm not sure what exactly is wrong with that. It makes people feel good about themselves. 
This is what i don't get. Its totally horrible that people feel this way. So why is it happening? Is it a clash of characters as-erm i cant remember her 'new name' ella bella said?? If so how does that work exactly? Does the strongest end up 'winning' somehow and the other poster sit out? Cause Sandie was feeling she got bullied and i always imagined her to be the one who actually instigated a lot of the fights. (sorry Sandie, its the way i see it, though again, i could be seeing it skewed) I think its not always simple and different people can see or refuse to see whats happening in many different ways.


----------



## Wagimawr

thatgirl08 said:


> I honestly hate using ignore. It's so much more fun to argue with said bully/asshole.


You really do believe in the internet, don't you? 

hint: i do too.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

OK folks thanks for proving my point. I don't start the fights Mer - I lose my temper after being poked and prodded by people who are better than me at being nasty and snotty in a way that looks fine. I have a friend who used to be a big part of this community. He puts it this way:

"There are a group of women on Dimensions who like to spit on you until you snap."


I have a long history here, since about the year it was brought online. I'm fed up. Personal attack my ass Kriss - warranted for sure.

And since this is what happens every fucking time I post, why would I feel welcome. I'm not. So fuck trying.


----------



## mergirl

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> OK folks thanks for proving my point. I don't start the fights Mer - I lose my temper after being poked and prodded by people who are better than me at being nasty and snotty in a way that looks fine. I have a friend who used to be a big part of this community. He puts it this way:
> 
> "There are a group of women on Dimensions who like to spit on you until you snap."
> 
> 
> I have a long history here, since about the year it was brought online. I'm fed up. Personal attack my ass Kriss - warranted for sure.
> 
> And since this is what happens every fucking time I post, why would I feel welcome. I'm not. So fuck trying.



Yeah, i didn't mean i thought you started them all the time. You are pretty good at defending yourself it seems, which is maby why you have stayed. we don't know how many people have left because they have felt picked on and just didn't want to fight back.
I find it a shame that you feel you don't want to post as much. Maby if you feel what you are describing happening again you should report it. 
I don't think people should get called victim just for saying how they feel either though sometimes playing 'the victim' is how people get attention or i think in many cases how they defend themselves. (just talking in general in that last bit).


----------



## Shosh

I think part of the whole bullying cycle is labelling a person a victim if they speak out against nasty behaviour.


----------



## mergirl

Susannah said:


> I think part of the whole bullying cycle is labelling a person a victim if they speak out against nasty behaviour.



I guess the opposite of bully, pretty much is victim. I'm not saying that real victims of bullying speaking out should be made to feel that they are in some way wrong for doing so. I mean that there are a lot of people who take a stance as a wronged person, never really identifying why exactly (which can be seen as unfounded accusations depending on the situation and can also be seen as passive agressive) because it makes them feel more secure in some way. I imagine like a hedgehog in a ball ; Rolled up and feeling safe while still spikey to the touch.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> OK folks thanks for proving my point. I don't start the fights Mer - I lose my temper after being poked and prodded by people who are better than me at being nasty and snotty in a way that looks fine. I have a friend who used to be a big part of this community. He puts it this way:
> 
> "There are a group of women on Dimensions who like to spit on you until you snap."
> 
> 
> I have a long history here, since about the year it was brought online. I'm fed up. Personal attack my ass Kriss - warranted for sure.
> 
> And since this is what happens every fucking time I post, why would I feel welcome. I'm not. So fuck trying.



Sandie I adore you to pieces. You are one of my favorite posters here but at times.... I dunno. The innocent act? Come on, you can be very nasty when you want to be. One need only glance for a moment at the closed and locked Michael Jackson memorial thread to view some of your finer qualities. Disrupting otherwise peaceful threads with shit and vinegar is a gift unmatched. Complian about it all you like but to me it looks like you can serve it up but you can't take it.


----------



## LillyBBBW

OneWickedAngel said:


> I'd have to say yes for the sheer volume of content. When I first joined Dims last year, I really knew no one. The first discussions I saw were dozens of pages long. I accidentally jumped into a conversation that had switched and got a little tarred and feathered for not knowing what the hell I was talking about. Some discussions started off as one thing, but 40 pages down when you wanted to make a comment and read what the latest poster had said, you have no idea what the discussion is about any more, especially if the last few posts are suddenly about say cake? There are so many intelligent people on Dims, but some can be such major bitches especially to newbies. And let's not mention the some the viciousness that was Hyde Park. I dropped Dims for several months because because of it. I met LilyBBBW and a few others at bashes and Lipmixgirl convinced me to come back in. Even so I switched to the games and pictures section simply because it was easier to just jump in and simply lurked around the discussions.
> 
> I know several Dimmers who are not fans of all the games, but I think it is a quick way to learn a lot of names while getting your name out there if you're not quite ready to be a "Pic Vixen" or jump into discussions.
> 
> The various picture threads are great because you get to put names and faces together and you get to show a little of your personality to boot. By the time I journeyed my way back into the serious discussions I was then semi-known and it was much easier. Especially after I finally figured out how to find New Posts where I had better chances of getting into discussions at the beginning and not feel like I was constantly playing catch up.
> 
> And this is coming from me. Imagine someone young and really shy trying to find his/her way here. I'm not surprised anymore when someone posts things along the lines of "I've been a part of Dims for a while now, but I just lurked" because of it. You do need to have a certain level of thick skin to post a strong opinion here because everyone is going to get their ass handed to them at some point.



Speaking as one of the few who finds the horse play in the threads to be a distraction, which I'm trying to wrap my head around, I can see how an innocent disagreement with a regular poster (rp) can appear like a gang beating. A lot of the mirth and joking that takes place around and sometimes with the rp while s/he's critically picking apart a newbie's post can be very alienating. They dont know anyone and nobody knows them so it can seem as if the joking is taking place at the new person's expense. Sometimes it is. Being teased and taunted is unpleasant for anybody and sometimes the jokes in here can read that way. A simple disagreement can get blown out of proportion easily.


----------



## irish_redhead

I've been mulling this thread over since it was first posted, and keeping up on it. 

I'm primarily only a lurker - that's how it is, that's how it's going to stay. When I'm bored or insomniac, I may participate more. But I often don't feel compelled to. 

I've had relationships with some members here that go back nearly 10 years (formed elsewhere) and I think it's a shame that I don't even desire to spend more time chatting with them here. I lurk in the areas that interest me, and avoid the areas that don't. 

I'd LIKE to feel more comfortable here. In reality, some experiences 9 years ago impacted myself as a BBW, my self-esteem and confidence, and my emotional satisfaction with myself - and I have some SA and Dims or Dims-minded people to thank for that. 

But what influences my decision to post (or not to) are the personalities I see here. I saw someone mention that knowing a person IRL is different than knowing them online - because they are a bitch online has no bearing on whether they are a wonderful person IRL. To some extent, perhaps more attention should be paid to getting to know each other IRL. On the other hand - my belief is that my opinions of an online entity are probably far more accurate than how they present themselves face to face. The internet offers anonymity, and with that comes a certain comfort to present yourself as you are with no facade of etiquette or conformity to societally accepted behaviour. Online you can be yourself - for better or worse - and not hide opinions or aspects that would be deemed by RL friends or accqaintances to be immoral, unethical, rude, offensive or otherwise unacceptable. 

It's some of these personalities that I've grown to dislike. Whether they are bullies or not, or simply act holier than thou / immature / condescending / bigoted etc. it is because I have no patience with them that I don't post. I see a lot of them posting here - and, from an outsiders view - often it seems that the first person to cry about others not being held accountable for personal attacks have no insight into the fact that they themselves are the most guilty. If you don't know the history between 2 people, and you aren't involved directly in a dispute, you get a whole different perspective on the situation and sometimes wonder "are they so delusional that they don't get it?"

So I'll continue to lurk here, clicking away as soon as I read a thread that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. When I'm bored and looking for drama, I'll check out someone's "latest posts" and see them act like idiots in multiple threads... and then I'll return to a more regular forum of mine - where people discuss scary movies, extreme/graphic violence, disembowelments, flesh-eating zombies, tortureporn, slashers, and other morally repugnant stuff. It's a pretty sad statement when that group of individuals are a far more compassionate, welcoming and open-minded group than those in a place devoted to "acceptance."


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## LillyBBBW

Irish_redhead, I hear what you're trying to say. I do however detect a bit of nastiness in the way you've said it. Via your personal feelings you feel justified in saying it the way that you did and obviously this is the way you feel. How is this different than any of the others you've mentioned in your post? It really isn't and it woudl be very easy for someone to extrapolate this post from you and say, "Gaw, she must be one nasty self righteous sun of a gun." Make no mistake, in some respects I agree with what you're saying but I want to submit before you that you're motivations in this post and 'their' motivations probably aren't all that dissimilar.




irish_redhead said:


> I've been mulling this thread over since it was first posted, and keeping up on it.
> 
> I'm primarily only a lurker - that's how it is, that's how it's going to stay. When I'm bored or insomniac, I may participate more. But I often don't feel compelled to.
> 
> I've had relationships with some members here that go back nearly 10 years (formed elsewhere) and I think it's a shame that I don't even desire to spend more time chatting with them here. I lurk in the areas that interest me, and avoid the areas that don't.
> 
> I'd LIKE to feel more comfortable here. In reality, some experiences 9 years ago impacted myself as a BBW, my self-esteem and confidence, and my emotional satisfaction with myself - and I have some SA and Dims or Dims-minded people to thank for that.
> 
> But what influences my decision to post (or not to) are the personalities I see here. I saw someone mention that knowing a person IRL is different than knowing them online - because they are a bitch online has no bearing on whether they are a wonderful person IRL. To some extent, perhaps more attention should be paid to getting to know each other IRL. On the other hand - my belief is that my opinions of an online entity are probably far more accurate than how they present themselves face to face. The internet offers anonymity, and with that comes a certain comfort to present yourself as you are with no facade of etiquette or conformity to societally accepted behaviour. Online you can be yourself - for better or worse - and not hide opinions or aspects that would be deemed by RL friends or accqaintances to be immoral, unethical, rude, offensive or otherwise unacceptable.
> 
> It's some of these personalities that I've grown to dislike. Whether they are bullies or not, or simply act holier than thou / immature / condescending / bigoted etc. it is because I have no patience with them that I don't post. I see a lot of them posting here - and, from an outsiders view - often it seems that the first person to cry about others not being held accountable for personal attacks have no insight into the fact that they themselves are the most guilty. If you don't know the history between 2 people, and you aren't involved directly in a dispute, you get a whole different perspective on the situation and sometimes wonder "are they so delusional that they don't get it?"
> 
> So I'll continue to lurk here, clicking away as soon as I read a thread that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. When I'm bored and looking for drama, I'll check out someone's "latest posts" and see them act like idiots in multiple threads... and then I'll return to a more regular forum of mine - where people discuss scary movies, extreme/graphic violence, disembowelments, flesh-eating zombies, tortureporn, slashers, and other morally repugnant stuff. It's a pretty sad statement when that group of individuals are a far more compassionate, welcoming and open-minded group than those in a place devoted to "acceptance."


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## Miss Vickie

LillyBBBW said:


> Irish_redhead, I hear what you're trying to say. I do however detect a bit of nastiness in the way you've said it. Via your personal feelings you feel justified in saying it the way that you did and obviously this is the way you feel. How is this different than any of the others you've mentioned in your post? It really isn't and it woudl be very easy for someone to extrapolate this post from you and say, "Gaw, she must be one nasty self righteous sun of a gun." Make no mistake, in some respects I agree with what you're saying but I want to submit before you that you're motivations in this post and 'their' motivations probably aren't all that dissimilar.



I agree, Lilly. I think it just depends on your perspective, which is I suppose true of all human interaction. One side's revolutionary soldiers is another side's terrorists. One person's passionate discussion is perceived by another as bullying. I think it's just very hard to draw the line in most cases, particularly when some folks are so deft at control (and you could even say bullying) by pulling the martyr/victim card. It's perhaps not perceived as aggressive as the person telling another to "go 'f' themselves" but it is in no way less controlling or, I believe, aggressive. That's why it's called "passive aggressive". They will say what they want about people, be as mean as they feel like being and then when the person rightfully responds, out comes the inner victim. Sadly, I've seen Sandie Z baited in just this way -- and may have even done it myself. That's not to say she doesn't give as good as she gets (she does -- just like we *all* do), but still, there's two sides to every human interaction.

My kids used to engage in the behavior I described -- one would start a fight, subtly, pushing the other one's buttons but in such a way that wasn't obvious to anyone but the true victim. When the other kid had finally had enough and acted out -- loudly -- guess who got punished. It took me a little while to see that both of them had a role to play in the escalation. And I think that's probably true here as well.


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## mergirl

See, i was thinking along the same lines as i went for a walk there and was thinking about it. That people have different ways of expressing themselves which could be percieved as bullying but that also people have different sensitivity levels. Not many people know the deep rooted fears, histories, past traumas or even current traumas of anyone else here. If they do, its usually because they have taken the time to talk by PM and get to know each other. When this happens misunderstandings might be less likely.
I'm going to use and example of something which happened the other day with susannah and I (and susannah, i'm not in any way trying to say you would ever even dream of bullying someone but i'm just trying to make a point).
Susanna posted at the end of a post to me "and learn how to fucking spell"-
Although, i half knew she was joking:
My 'present self' was feeling sensitive because i had not had much sleep and i have an essay due in which i am worrying about.
This in turn made me more sensitive to the fact that i do get a ribbbing for my spelling here -I take this as a joke now but i am dyslexic/there is only so many times you can explain this/you don't want to appear to be a moan..etc.
This is a sensitive issue from my past because i didn't get tested for dyslexia until after i was at school so many people commented on this when i was younger etc etc.
Anyway, my point being is that susannah while isn't going to take into consideration my current mood, all my history here, my medical history, and my past experiences before making some joke.
I have to admit, because of my mood that day i 'did' feel a bit down about it. Susannah sent me rep saying 'i was only joking' and we ended up having some aussie/scottish sick humour banter with me telling her to "walk properly".
Because we both then knew what our limits were, that we were both on the same page humour wise and we were both in the mood to joke it didn't end in tears. .. but it could have.
None of us are ever going to know if someone has been bullied, raped, abused, struggled in some way or other about something and all of us have differrent humour styles, ways of talking etc which may bring up these issues and hurt people without realising. 
I think honesty is the best policy. If something upsets you then you should say right off that it upsets you and why. If not you are going to let things build up and explode *cough* or will be seen to be 'playing' the victim- because things arn't being tackled head on. I know that maby things in many cases have gone too far and maby mediation wouldn't even work. In which case i think as long as the people who are upsetting you know that they are they need to try to refrain from that type of behaviour and if not then maby just put the person on ignore.
Aye.. and btw you should have seen my spelling a few years ago!!!!!
:happy:


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## mergirl

Actually, today this thread seem like more use because i feel less negative.


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## TraciJo67

mergirl said:


> I guess the opposite of bully, pretty much is victim. I'm not saying that real victims of bullying speaking out should be made to feel that they are in some way wrong for doing so. I mean that there are a lot of people who take a stance as a wronged person, never really identifying why exactly (which can be seen as unfounded accusations depending on the situation and can also be seen as passive agressive) because it makes them feel more secure in some way. I imagine like a hedgehog in a ball ; Rolled up and feeling safe while still spikey to the touch.



To the people on the receiving end of the bully/victim behaviors though, they can look like the same thing. The only real difference is what motivates the archetypes. Even then, it can be a fine line.

A victim believes that his/her life circumstances are always someone else's fault, never his/her own. Some may be incapable of introspection, others just refuse to acknowledge any culpability for the situation because it perpetuates a cycle that they are at least familiar, if not entirely comfortable with. The victim will lash out with "Look what you did to me! You always do this to me, and you know how fragile I am! You're a bad person!" The target of this rant will be feeling manipulated, demeaned, and categorized. How different does it really feel to be on the receiving end of a bullying tirade?


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## fatgirlflyin

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Thank you for proving my point so well.But honestly I'm sick to death of your snotty sarcastic attitude with me. I don't recall ever even posting to you except when you pulled this shit with me. You don't like me? Big fucking deal.
> 
> I was asked a question and I answered it. You are one of the bullies on these boards and what gives you the right to come waltzing into Dimensions and sit on your high horse and judge everybody?? Have a life first. You make me sick to my stomach.



She's 18, snotty and sarcastic is what its about.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

mergirl said:


> This is what i don't get. Its totally horrible that people feel this way. So why is it happening? Is it a clash of characters as-erm i cant remember her 'new name' ella bella said?? If so how does that work exactly? Does the strongest end up 'winning' somehow and the other poster sit out?




<-- New name 
I think many times it is a clash of characters, and I think it takes both people being adult enough to either avoid each other if you just can't deal. Or take a break until you see that maybe that person wasn't everything you thought they were. I did the second. I've interacted with Barb several times since the barb trading, and I'll see her in Jersey. I'm 34 years old, don't have time for all the crap.


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## mergirl

TraciJo67 said:


> To the people on the receiving end of the bully/victim behaviors though, they can look like the same thing. The only real difference is what motivates the archetypes. Even then, it can be a fine line.
> 
> A victim believes that his/her life circumstances are always someone else's fault, never his/her own. Some may be incapable of introspection, others just refuse to acknowledge any culpability for the situation because it perpetuates a cycle that they are at least familiar, if not entirely comfortable with. The victim will lash out with "Look what you did to me! You always do this to me, and you know how fragile I am! You're a bad person!" The target of this rant will be feeling manipulated, demeaned, and categorized. How different does it really feel to be on the receiving end of a bullying tirade?



Right. I see what you mean and i know there is a lot of that type of passive agressive behaviour happening, which i know can be just as bad as actual agression. If we are talking about 'victims' in the truest sense of the word, i really don't believe there are any here. I do believe there are people who believe they are picked on but like i said, that could be to do with a whole host of other reasons, from thier sensitivities, personality clashes etc and not necissarily because someone is specifically targeting someone. I agree that the acts of that sort of 'victim' can be akin to bullying behaviour.


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## LillyBBBW

mergirl said:


> Right. I see what you mean and i know there is a lot of that type of passive agressive behaviour happening, which i know can be just as bad as actual agression. If we are talking about 'victims' in the truest sense of the word, i really don't believe there are any here. I do believe there are people who believe they are picked on but like i said, that could be to do with a whole host of other reasons, from thier sensitivities, personality clashes etc and not necissarily because someone is specifically targeting someone. I agree that the acts of that sort of 'victim' can be akin to bullying behaviour.



Yes but where does one draw the line? Let's say some person comes here with a cleavage pic as their avatar. They start talking about how much they would like to gain and oh how their husband doesn't appreciate bla bla bla, my chunky legs and red pumps, bla bla. I don't care what anybody says, that right there is the proverbial drop of blood in shark infested waters here at Dims. Wait for it, it will happen, but somebody is going to say something nasty to her be it direct or a brand of snarky sarcasm. Thus the frenzy will begin and everybody will accuse Soozie Floozie is crying victim if she whines. But really, isn't she? In my opinion this is someone who isn't doing anything to anyone or breaking any rules. And let me just add that people like this irritate the hell out of me. The argument that it is just a part of her personality seems valid to me but the argument that it's just a part of my personality to slap people like her silly is not. It's where the idea of allowances for character differences falls short for me. I just don't think anyone has the right to harass anyone else simply because they don't like them and I've seen that happen here.


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## butch

This thread describes a world I don't even feel like I live in here at Dims. Really, ya'll make it sound like you have to go through some sort of extreme hazing ritual to become a posting member, and then you have to have your back up and your claws out to defend yourself all the time from rival gangs, and if you don't, you're just the weakest, most pathetic thing that has ever lived.

That isn't the world I chose to live in here at Dims, and I wonder if this is the prevailing attitude of many of you about this place, why do you chose to particpate? Are those Darwinian beastial 'survival of the fittest' directives so appealing that we're chosing to replicate them online instead of striving towards a more egalitarian community? I'm not saying we should strive for that, but I think many of us confuse 'size acceptance website' with 'egalitarian harmonious blissful website,' and that just ain't human nature. Hence the fixation on bullies and victims and the possible distancing of many of us from the aspects of each in all of our personalities.

Hmm, I don't even know what I was trying to say, but it took me a few minutes to write it, and I don't want that effort to go to waste, so here you go.


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## TraciJo67

LillyBBBW said:


> Yes but where does one draw the line? Let's say some person comes here with a cleavage pic as their avatar. They start talking about how much they would like to gain and oh how their husband doesn't appreciate bla bla bla, my chunky legs and red pumps, bla bla. I don't care what anybody says, that right there is the proverbial drop of blood in shark infested waters here at Dims. Wait for it, it will happen, but somebody is going to say something nasty to her be it direct or a brand of snarky sarcasm. Thus the frenzy will begin and everybody will accuse Soozie Floozie is crying victim if she whines. But really, isn't she? In my opinion this is someone who isn't doing anything to anyone or breaking any rules. And let me just add that people like this irritate the hell out of me. The argument that it is just a part of her personality seems valid to me but the argument that it's just a part of my personality to slap people like her silly is not. It's where the idea of allowances for character differences falls short for me. I just don't think anyone has the right to harass anyone else simply because they don't like them and I've seen that happen here.



BarbBBW has been brought up a number of times. I will say this: I've probably made a snarky remark or reference to her, and I knew at the time that it wasn't right, and did it anyway (while at least attempting to fly under the mod radar). The thing is, I like Barb's online persona - she usually has a kind word for everyone and it's clear that she's a 'people pleaser', wants very much to be liked (or at least respected), and I've seen her make very empathetic & accepting remarks to people. I've told Barb as much. I don't like the constant flirting - not directing this specifically at you now, Barb, I am now speaking more generally: I don't like it for the same reason that Surlysomething doesn't like irreverent posts that, to her, detract from a thread's intention. I know damn well that there is going to be a lot of that kind of behavior in the 'post your latest nude pics' or 'who do you have a ginormous crush on' threads, and I usually stay pretty far away from them. When I do go in, I know upfront what to expect and I am not in the slightest bit annoyed by anything that I see there. It is more the threads that start out with one intention and then all of a sudden I'm seeing (at work, natch) wide-angle zoom shots of someone's cleavage. Thread derailments don't actually bother me that much, not to the extent that I'll make it a point to respond to them often. What does annoy me is what comes AFTER someone points out that the cleavage shot or the "you're so hawt Married Guy, let's get some cam action going tonight after my husband & kids are in bed" posts are annoying. Sometimes it isn't about being jealous, sometimes the person responding isn't actively trying to be mean, and sometimes it's not so much a judgment of one's lifestyle or choices as it is exasperation at people not understanding the context of the thread in which they've just posted their :smitten: or their :wubu: which oftentimes leaves me :shocked:

How do we strike a balance so that everyone can feel free to express who they are. I agree with what you said in its entirety, Lilly. Nobody should be picked on just because other people don't like them. For my part, and I really mean this: There are very, very few people here whom I actively dislike, and even then it is the persona that I object to. And even THEN, I'd hate to see anyone leave because I confess that I love some of the drama and I find myself entertained or even enthralled by people whom I don't understand in the slightest and sometimes I LOVE that about them.


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## Fascinita

At least we all seem to be in agreement that the bullies are all women. Or has anyone mentioned male bullies? I don't recall.

Hmmm... I wonder if that means anything.

amirite? (Dan, did I do that right?)


----------



## Mathias

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> OK folks thanks for proving my point. I don't start the fights Mer - I lose my temper after being poked and prodded by people who are better than me at being nasty and snotty in a way that looks fine. I have a friend who used to be a big part of this community. He puts it this way:
> 
> "There are a group of women on Dimensions who like to spit on you until you snap."
> 
> 
> I have a long history here, since about the year it was brought online. I'm fed up. Personal attack my ass Kriss - warranted for sure.
> 
> And since this is what happens every fucking time I post, why would I feel welcome. I'm not. So fuck trying.



You post/say things for the sole purpose of getting people riled up and then when you get called on it, you always pull the "I have better things to do with my time" card. So I don't believe you when you say you don't start drama around here.


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## Green Eyed Fairy

butch said:


> *This thread describes a world I don't even feel like I live in here at Dims. * Really, ya'll make it sound like you have to go through some sort of extreme hazing ritual to become a posting member, and then you have to have your back up and your claws out to defend yourself all the time from rival gangs, and if you don't, you're just the weakest, most pathetic thing that has ever lived.
> *
> That isn't the world I chose to live in here at Dims, and I wonder if this is the prevailing attitude of many of you about this place, why do you chose to particpate? * Are those Darwinian beastial 'survival of the fittest' directives so appealing that we're chosing to replicate them online instead of striving towards a more egalitarian community? I'm not saying we should strive for that, but *I think many of us confuse 'size acceptance website' with 'egalitarian harmonious blissful website,' and that just ain't human nature. *Hence the fixation on bullies and victims and the possible distancing of many of us from the aspects of each in all of our personalities.
> 
> Hmm, I don't even know what I was trying to say, but it took me a few minutes to write it, and I don't want that effort to go to waste, so here you go.



I'm so glad you said it though......I have experience a gambit of thoughts/feelings while reading the cycles this thread seems to take us through....
I am happy for the most part with Dims right now......but find this thread depressing. I'm thinking all of this is a matter of perspective from each poster...and exactly what you hope to garner from your Dims experience.

I perceive it mostly for what it actually is...entertainment. I have made some nice friends here, received support and good thoughts, shared a lot of myself, been able to say things here I wouldn't feel comfortable anywhere else, etc. So if someone wanted to argue that it's so much more than entertainment...then I could see their side of things. 
However....we are on the internet. The internet serves many purposes: information, communication media, thought provoking discussion- but is in a mixed bag with liars, gamers, kids, adults, crazies, geniuses, etc. 

Step back- you have to take it how it comes. It's so much like real life sometimes, in that respect anyway.


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## Tooz

Fascinita said:


> At least we all seem to be in agreement that the bullies are all women. Or has anyone mentioned male bullies? I don't recall.
> 
> Hmmm... I wonder if that means anything.
> 
> amirite? (Dan, did I do that right?)




Oh, there are definitely male bullies...


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## Fascinita

Tooz said:


> Oh, there are definitely male bullies...



Well, to be fair, now that I think of it... I did see a couple of guys mentioned.


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## kayrae

Dan and Mini have offered themselves up. I do think they're guys.


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## mergirl

LillyBBBW said:


> The argument that it is just a part of her personality seems valid to me but the argument that it's just a part of my personality to slap people like her silly is not. It's where the idea of allowances for character differences falls short for me. I just don't think anyone has the right to harass anyone else simply because they don't like them and I've seen that happen here.



When i talk of a clash of personalities i mean more when its not one sided and when both people are giving out and getting. Someone saying nasty things to someone just because they dont like thier online personality, if they havn't been mean to anyone in any way, isn't nice. I can see how it happens though, people rub other people up the wrong way. 
Isn't condoning harrassment of them because they are flirty/married/posting sexy pics pretty much just as bad as harassing someone because they are gay/bi/poly whatever else they could be? (This is a rhetorical quesion..i know this is what you were saying too)
In a way, i can see how people can get protective when, say married guys come into chat and are still flirting- I think you learn pretty quick in here that people are protective of one another over things like that. Isn't that because actually it is harmful behaviour which could result in someone getting hurt?
I know people have been using Barb as an example- I think she has been pretty upfront and honest about the fact that she is married though, so i'm not sure what the problem is there. She seems to be really nice to everyone, though ive never had an indepth conversation of discussion with her so i really don't know her. 
See, this is the thing. I just don't find Barb offensive in any way but maby others do and i'm sure there are people i think are total arseholes that others will love. I think this is bound to happen with so many characters. Lilly.. Whats my point? Bugger! I'm lost! -I think its basically, yeah.. i agree with you. Its not right to be shit to someone just because you don't like their personality.
Hmm..it must be hard though, to not say anything when someone is offending you so much. I actually think i understand dravenhawk now!! hmm...
I feel i rambled a lot of shit there.. but it took me a while to type, so like Butch, i shall just post anyway and see what happens. :happy:


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## Weeze

OH. I HAVE AN IDEA. If you don't want to, or don't think you can hack posting here, DON'T. 
I looooove some of you to death, some of you make me chuckle, and others make me want to throw my computer across the room. However. I don't think I'm particularly mean to one person in general. I'll get into arguments but I think I like to keep a level head about things, and the times I didn't, a mod let me know. That's how it fucking works. 
I agree that I am so fucking sick of the victim mentality, and i know everyone's jumping on sandie, which don't get me wrong, has me laughing my ass off, but come on. it's not just her. lots of people do it, and actually.... EVERYONE has their moments, don't they?

First. I like mossystate AND tracijo.... and i think all you haters should just grow some thicker skin for christsakes. this "oh, mossy's bullying me" is bullshit. grow up and take it, because from what i've seen it's not that bad.
OH. and btw. if you know her chat personality, you know that she's not mean unless you deserve it... like fucking AT ALL. In fact, she's one of those people that if you're having a bad day, she's totally there. 

Which brings me to my next thought. what the hell is with all the personal attacks right now? part of me thinks this is some weird lesson-learning trick from mods.... hmmmmmm.... but even if it's not, can we seriously stop being petty and ganging up on people?


OneWickedAngel, I <3 you, seriously. Don't be afraid of discussions  No one wants you to feel left out AT ALL, and if they do, gimme a call, i know a guy


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## LillyBBBW

kayrae said:


> Dan and Mini have offered themselves up. I do think they're guys.



Yes, I believe they were even mentioned by name though I can't remember who it was that did so. BGB got an honorable mention somewhere too, that was cool.



TraciJo67 said:


> BarbBBW has been brought up a number of times. I will say this: I've probably made a snarky remark or reference to her, and I knew at the time that it wasn't right, and did it anyway (while at least attempting to fly under the mod radar). The thing is, I like Barb's online persona - she usually has a kind word for everyone and it's clear that she's a 'people pleaser', wants very much to be liked (or at least respected), and I've seen her make very empathetic & accepting remarks to people. I've told Barb as much. I don't like the constant flirting - not directing this specifically at you now, Barb, I am now speaking more generally: I don't like it for the same reason that Surlysomething doesn't like irreverent posts that, to her, detract from a thread's intention. I know damn well that there is going to be a lot of that kind of behavior in the 'post your latest nude pics' or 'who do you have a ginormous crush on' threads, and I usually stay pretty far away from them. When I do go in, I know upfront what to expect and I am not in the slightest bit annoyed by anything that I see there. It is more the threads that start out with one intention and then all of a sudden I'm seeing (at work, natch) wide-angle zoom shots of someone's cleavage. Thread derailments don't actually bother me that much, not to the extent that I'll make it a point to respond to them often. What does annoy me is what comes AFTER someone points out that the cleavage shot or the "you're so hawt Married Guy, let's get some cam action going tonight after my husband & kids are in bed" posts are annoying. Sometimes it isn't about being jealous, sometimes the person responding isn't actively trying to be mean, and sometimes it's not so much a judgment of one's lifestyle or choices as it is exasperation at people not understanding the context of the thread in which they've just posted their :smitten: or their :wubu: which oftentimes leaves me :shocked:
> 
> How do we strike a balance so that everyone can feel free to express who they are. I agree with what you said in its entirety, Lilly. Nobody should be picked on just because other people don't like them. For my part, and I really mean this: There are very, very few people here whom I actively dislike, and even then it is the persona that I object to. And even THEN, I'd hate to see anyone leave because I confess that I love some of the drama and I find myself entertained or even enthralled by people whom I don't understand in the slightest and sometimes I LOVE that about them.



One thing I've gotten out of this thread is the relization of how much of a weirdo I really am compared to everyone else. I always knew I hated crowds and noise but I'm also like Surly in that I don't like the play that goes on in threads. Over time I've just learned to live with it or ignore it better I guess. I feel less inclined to tell anyone else how to cope with the things they find irritating. who amd I to advise someone else when I'm unstable enough to get fidgety in crowds of more than 5?  My advice would be to cultivate apathy and indifference, it works for me. People are grown. If they want to flirt around with somebody who is openly married or living some strange other-worldly lifestyle it's their headache. I do get the same sort of morbid amusement from it all like you do though. 



mergirl said:


> When i talk of a clash of personalities i mean more when its not one sided and when both people are giving out and getting. Someone saying nasty things to someone just because they dont like thier online personality, if they havn't been mean to anyone in any way, isn't nice. I can see how it happens though, people rub other people up the wrong way.
> Isn't condoning harrassment of them because they are flirty/married/posting sexy pics pretty much just as bad as harassing someone because they are gay/bi/poly whatever else they could be? (This is a rhetorical quesion..i know this is what you were saying too)
> In a way, i can see how people can get protective when, say married guys come into chat and are still flirting- I think you learn pretty quick in here that people are protective of one another over things like that. Isn't that because actually it is harmful behaviour which could result in someone getting hurt?
> I know people have been using Barb as an example- I think she has been pretty upfront and honest about the fact that she is married though, so i'm not sure what the problem is there. She seems to be really nice to everyone, though ive never had an indepth conversation of discussion with her so i really don't know her.
> See, this is the thing. I just don't find Barb offensive in any way but maby others do and i'm sure there are people i think are total arseholes that others will love. I think this is bound to happen with so many characters. Lilly.. Whats my point? Bugger! I'm lost! -I think its basically, yeah.. i agree with you. Its not right to be shit to someone just because you don't like their personality.
> Hmm..it must be hard though, to not say anything when someone is offending you so much. I actually think i understand dravenhawk now!! hmm...
> I feel i rambled a lot of shit there.. but it took me a while to type, so like Butch, i shall just post anyway and see what happens. :happy:



I'm more a live and let live kind of person. Opinions are cool but they really don't matter so much. I don't have to live their life so it's better to let them make their way along as best they can in their circumstances, as long as they're honest and up front with people. There are people who want that stuff. I know a closet FA who will only have affairs with married women. To me that's fcuked up but they seem to be happy at it so....


----------



## Shosh

krismiss said:


> OH. I HAVE AN IDEA. If you don't want to, or don't think you can hack posting here, DON'T.
> I looooove some of you to death, some of you make me chuckle, and others make me want to throw my computer across the room. However. I don't think I'm particularly mean to one person in general. I'll get into arguments but I think I like to keep a level head about things, and the times I didn't, a mod let me know. That's how it fucking works.
> I agree that I am so fucking sick of the victim mentality, and i know everyone's jumping on sandie, which don't get me wrong, has me laughing my ass off, but come on. it's not just her. lots of people do it, and actually.... EVERYONE has their moments, don't they?
> 
> First. I like mossystate AND tracijo.... and i think all you haters should just grow some thicker skin for christsakes. this "oh, mossy's bullying me" is bullshit. grow up and take it, because from what i've seen it's not that bad.
> OH. and btw. if you know her chat personality, you know that she's not mean unless you deserve it... like fucking AT ALL. In fact, she's one of those people that if you're having a bad day, she's totally there.
> 
> Which brings me to my next thought. what the hell is with all the personal attacks right now? part of me thinks this is some weird lesson-learning trick from mods.... hmmmmmm.... but even if it's not, can we seriously stop being petty and ganging up on people?
> 
> 
> OneWickedAngel, I <3 you, seriously. Don't be afraid of discussions  No one wants you to feel left out AT ALL, and if they do, gimme a call, i know a guy



She is not mean unless you deserve it. What crap. But Yo I must just be a hater.
That statement takes a lot of nerve on your part.
I could care less about somebody's chat persona. I can read a person quite 
quickly, and I know what I know.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

LillyBBBW said:


> Yes, I believe they were even mentioned by name though I can't remember who it was that did so. BGB got an honorable mention somewhere too, that was cool.



WHAT?! Is this because I've been advocating for size friendly lockers in which to better shove members of Dims into? .. Y'know, you try to be a good person .. :doh:


----------



## Blackjack

Never mind, misread it.


----------



## mossystate

Afternoon, thread!


----------



## TraciJo67

mossystate said:


> Afternoon, thread!



Are you here to represent, Mossything?

Bring it, woman. BRING. IT. I will take you DOWN. 

You big, mean, nasty thug of a dog-humping bully


----------



## mossystate

TraciJo67 said:


> Are you here to represent, Mossything?
> 
> Bring it, woman. BRING. IT. I will take you DOWN.
> 
> You big, mean, nasty thug of a dog-humping bully





It should be like FarmTown. I get an apple tree, whenever my name is mentioned.

Apple cider ...for all!....or IS it apple cider.



Hmmmmmmmmm.

someone please stop her...please...for the love of all that is good and holy...hit her between the eyes with a silverplated twinkie


----------



## Spanky

More thread-jacking? And I wasn't invited???? 

But for those who do not have me on Ignore........ The way things are phrased sometimes starts the whole opinion of the thought to come in a harsher light. 

To say, "I disagree with you" or "I really disagree with your point and here is why...." 

versus

"That has to be the biggest fucking steaming pile of shit for an idea...and here is why" 

While my second example may be over the top, in this instance, no one was called a name, just the opinion or idea. But the aggressive stance of the first phase casts the response as less important than the "claim staking" or "line in the sand drawing" of that first phase. 

I am not saying people can't respond that way, but it sure changes the tone of the thought. Same thought as it may be. 

And I think there are, as a percentage, as many men as women bullies. There are way more women here posting, and tell me if I am wrong, but I would think that women tend to be more aggressive toward other women than other men. Just my observation. And yes, generalizing it is. :bow:


----------



## BarbBBW

AFternoon all,
When I first joined Dims and became active, I was alittle overbearing with my post, I have said this before. I can easily see how some one like myself can get on peoples nerves. I do not do it intentionally. I am who I am . I do love people, everyone, whether they treat me well or not, simply because, we are all human.
I am overly sexual In alot of my post and my pics, true. But, I do it outta fun! I think I have calmed down on this quite a bit after a few PM's and postings from a few people. Its a fun way of flirting for me. And Yes , I am married. But my marriage, and how its "run" is for me to define, no one else. I feel alot of times, that because I am married, I get alot of personal attacks on me. But I have lived and learned to deal with it. AS many of you have said. If you put it out there, expect to hear about it. And honestly , thats fine. But dont judge me, because of my "my idea's of marriage" . You want to chime in and say,.. thats not what the bible says,.. be my guest. I dont expect many people to approve or accept my views on marriage. BUt dont just go assuming, I am insecure, jealous, I play a victim, or unhappy with my life because of it. Thats all I wanted to say. And again, I believe I have refrained from this quite a bit lately too. Out of respect for fellow DIMMERS who take it offensively. That was never my intention.
There is nothing better to me, in life , then a strong woman. WHo stands her grounds, does things for herself, and makes her life better daily. There are so many of these women on DIMS. For the most part, almost all the women and men on DIMS are here for for the common goodness of being a BBW,BHM,FA or FAA. That in itself, is a huge step for many people!! That, to me is admirable. I really do love reading the post on here. And the little spats here and there, will always come and go.


----------



## Surlysomething

BothGunsBlazing said:


> WHAT?! Is this because I've been advocating for size friendly lockers in which to better shove members of Dims into? .. Y'know, you try to be a good person .. :doh:




Get him a body bag! Yeah!


----------



## thatgirl08

Susannah said:


> She is just stating how she feels. I dislike it when the victim label is trotted out.
> Sandie has the right to say how she feels without being labelled.



I don't remember saying she didn't have that right. Don't I get to state how I feel too?



Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Thank you for proving my point so well.But honestly I'm sick to death of your snotty sarcastic attitude with me. I don't recall ever even posting to you except when you pulled this shit with me. You don't like me? Big fucking deal.
> 
> I was asked a question and I answered it. You are one of the bullies on these boards and what gives you the right to come waltzing into Dimensions and sit on your high horse and judge everybody?? Have a life first. You make me sick to my stomach.



I hardly ever post to you and when I do, I call you on your bs. If that makes me snotty, sarcastic and a bully, so be it. I don't not like you.. I don't even know you, at all. I'm just responding to you based on what you've said on the board. I mean, it is a discussion forum, right? 50% of your posts are you attacking someone and the other 50% is you playing the victim. Oh the people here are SO MEAN TO ME. Have you seen your own attitude lately?



LillyBBBW said:


> The innocent act? Come on, you can be very nasty when you want to be. One need only glance for a moment at the closed and locked Michael Jackson memorial thread to view some of your finer qualities. Disrupting otherwise peaceful threads with shit and vinegar is a gift unmatched. Complian about it all you like but to me it looks like you can serve it up but you can't take it.



This.



Mathias said:


> You post/say things for the sole purpose of getting people riled up and then when you get called on it, you always pull the "I have better things to do with my time" card. So I don't believe you when you say you don't start drama around here.



and this.



fatgirlflyin said:


> She's 18, snotty and sarcastic is what its about.



Yeah, generally when I don't agree with someone about something I fall back on personal attacks. And don't even tell me for a second this isn't one. I realize this board is made up mostly of people who are twice my age but I'm 18 years old, an adult, and I have just as much of a right to post here as you do. Instead of calling me out on being a teenager everytime I say something you don't like, you could try discussing it with me. I know that would require you to actually read what I say, think about it, and formulate a coherant response but I really, truly believe that you and everyone else on the board is capable of it.



krismiss said:


> OH. I HAVE AN IDEA. If you don't want to, or don't think you can hack posting here, DON'T.
> I looooove some of you to death, some of you make me chuckle, and others make me want to throw my computer across the room. However. I don't think I'm particularly mean to one person in general. I'll get into arguments but I think I like to keep a level head about things, and the times I didn't, a mod let me know. That's how it fucking works.
> I agree that I am so fucking sick of the victim mentality, and i know everyone's jumping on sandie, which don't get me wrong, has me laughing my ass off, but come on. it's not just her. lots of people do it, and actually.... EVERYONE has their moments, don't they? *BLAHBLAHSNIP*



Krissy, you know I love you, you're one of my good friends here on Dims but I have to say this. It's easy for you to sit back and tell everyone what to do, but when is the last time you posted a controversial remark? I don't know if I can think of a single time. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's up to your own discretion what to post and what not to post but I know that you think plenty of things that never get said on here. It's easy for you to be like, oh just take it, it's a messageboard blah blah but when have you ever had a heated discussion with someone or posted something that someone wasn't going to like? I just think it's a lot easier for you to post this like tough "if you can't handle it, then leave" thing when you're someone that tends to stay neutral at all times.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

thatgirl08 said:


> Yeah, generally when I don't agree with someone about something I fall back on personal attacks. And don't even tell me for a second this isn't one. I realize this board is made up mostly of people who are twice my age but I'm 18 years old, an adult, and I have just as much of a right to post here as you do. Instead of calling me out on being a teenager everytime I say something you don't like, you could try discussing it with me. I know that would require you to actually read what I say, think about it, and formulate a coherant response but I really, truly believe that you and everyone else on the board is capable of it.




whoa whoa whoa! I was joking. Seriously. I didn't put the damn smiley face because most people take it as a sarcastic thing. I actually agreed with what you said, and the 18 comment was just being silly and as a matter of fact is the only time I've ever pointed out someone's age. Sorry if it offended ya. 

Here:


----------



## thatgirl08

fatgirlflyin said:


> whoa whoa whoa! I was joking. Seriously. I didn't put the damn smiley face because most people take it as a sarcastic thing. I actually agreed with what you said, and the 18 comment was just being silly and as a matter of fact is the only time I've ever pointed out someone's age. Sorry if it offended ya.
> 
> Here:



Sorry, this thread is making me defensive! I totally misread the post, my bad. 

For the record, to anyone else who feels it necessary to pull out the age thing (in a non joking way of course) can refer to above post. It still applies.


----------



## tonynyc

*Interesting that what do we have in "common" and what brings us to this community... **we've all been "victims" at some point of our lives because of what we are or what we adore...*

Now the ultimate irony is to come to a community such as Dims and encounter the same conflicts that one has in real life. I guess given the sheer size of this community and so many different people & personalities involved anything is bound to happen...

I'm going to have to call this thread Conrad's version of the "Skinner Box" - very clever.

Another interesting phenomenon is "how" we argue - Folks bring different experience as to how they respond to a "Verbal Conflict". Most guy will happily destroy the offending party with Logic and or tell them to "Fuck Off and Have a Nice Day" - then sit down have a beverage and enjoy the day. Men vs. Women, Women vs. Women "Verbal Smackdown" a whole other matter. 

That's not to say that Women cannot give it as good (Verbally or Physically) as a Man cause they can. Even in a physical confrontation - no guy would step into the ring with former Women's Boxer Anne Wolf. 

In any Verbal confrontation- It all depends on the personal experience. Everybody bring something different to the Dance. Some can be more blunt, slick a little of both... 

Another is the [perception] of the "Bully" Female vs. Male. You have to laugh at the Irony and the fact that you have numerous pages bought up on the behavior of women -but, so few on Men. 

It's funny that when the Men's names are bought up - there was a comment that one of the guys got an Honorable Mention and that was cool... 

If you are a guy and a prick you can be admired if it's a woman it's the classic "Leona Helmsley" syndrome...


----------



## fatgirlflyin

tonynyc said:


> Another is the [perception] of the "Bully" Female vs. Male. You have to laugh at the Irony and the fact that you have numerous pages bought up on the behavior of women -but, so few on Men.
> 
> It's funny that when the Men's names are bought up - there was a comment that one of the guys got an Honorable Mention and that was cool...
> 
> If you are a guy and a prick you can be admired if it's a woman it's the classic "Leona Helmsley" syndrome...



Do you think its that? Or do you think its that there are just much fewer men who actively post outside of the paysite board? I personally think its the second choice. There aren't nearly as many male posters here as women, so naturally you are going to have a high number of women anything if you compare the two.


----------



## thatgirl08

fatgirlflyin said:


> Do you think its that? Or do you think its that there are just much fewer men who actively post outside of the paysite board? I personally think its the second choice. There aren't nearly as many male posters here as women, so naturally you are going to have a high number of women anything if you compare the two.



Very, very true. And how many of those men who do post outside the paysite board try to stay neutral? It's rare you see a guy posting anything particularly inflammatory or controversial on here.


----------



## thatgirl08

Also, I think it may be due to a little passive agressiveness from the top that this thread was even started to begin with. This thing had shit storm written all over it from the start.


----------



## BarbBBW

thatgirl08 said:


> Very, very true. And how many of those men who do post outside the paysite board try to stay neutral? It's rare you see a guy posting anything particularly inflammatory or controversial on here.



I personally think men could care less. They let stuff roll off their back like ducks in water. Men dont want or need the drama. A few will chime in when they find it necessary , which almost never LOL
Which is actually good, cause us women have enough to deal with!! hehe


----------



## thatgirl08

BarbBBW said:


> I personally think men could care less. They let stuff roll off their back like ducks in water. Men dont want or need the drama. A few will chime in when they find it necessary , which almost never LOL
> Which is actually good, cause us women have enough to deal with!! hehe



Agreed mostly, but it'd be nice to have their not-so-well-liked contributions as well.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

thatgirl08 said:


> Also, I think it may be due to a little passive agressiveness from the top that this thread was even started to begin with. This thing had shit storm written all over it from the start.



Agreed.



thatgirl08 said:


> Very, very true. And how many of those men who do post outside the paysite board try to stay neutral? It's rare you see a guy posting anything particularly inflammatory or controversial on here.



hmmmm I can think of 4? Mini, Stan, Wayne, and Dan. There was a guy Vince who got banned, other than that I can't think of any guy who's posted anything particularly inflammatory or controversial. 



BarbBBW said:


> I personally think men could care less. They let stuff roll off their back like ducks in water. Men dont want or need the drama. A few will chime in when they find it necessary , which almost never LOL
> Which is actually good, cause us women have enough to deal with!! hehe




I guess it could be that. Part of me also wonders though, if it could be because they don't want to piss the women off. Cuz then who'd post all the pics??


----------



## crayola box

there are so many interesting posts in the last few pages that just quoting them would take up a whole new page so I am going to just try and do a catch all response instead of wasting space. 

20 min. later:

I just tried writing this response multiple times and each try felt like something was lacking.

My intention was to respond to the posts that ask about how newbies feel entering dimensions in terms of acceptance bullying etc. Since i tried answering this and failed in my attempts I think perhaps an example would illustrate what I was trying to say. 

I absolutely find tremendous value in the main board, weight board, health board and bbw board; and think that the lounge and food boards are fun as well, but have to admit that what made me a regular reader of Dims was the fashion board. Its also what finally made me join and delurk- I knew the answer to someone's question and was so excited since I had been plagued by the same problem that i couldn't wait to share the solution with them (oddly enough I never did end up jumping in with that hair curling advice ). Because I love that board and am so appreciative of the people who post on it I feel comfortable using it and them as my example:

As a new person its hard to find that exact moment when it feels ok to tease someone or joke around with them because having read the boards you have the advantage of knowing them without them yet knowing you. Any yet the other day when someone made a joke that after commenting on women's shoes he would have to go find a hockey thread, but then commented using an example about ice skating, I teased him that ice skating was about as macho as a peep toe sling back. I knew there was a chance we would turn out to have a different sense of humor and he would take me seriously and think I was questioning his manhood but decided that was nuts so posted anyway. He responded by explaining why he used the ice skating example he did and went on to give his opinion on the limitations of men sitting out from participating in discussions of subjects that are seen as traditionally the woman's domain such as fashion.

My first thought in reading this was: Oh no, he totally took my joke the wrong way and was being defensive and putting me in my place for going too far too soon. But on second read I realized this was most likely not the case (perhaps this is a lesson, not only in not taking things too seriously, but in stepping back and thinking about what the other person has said before getting trigger happy with the reply button!!!) I realized that he was not being defensive, but rather, using my joke as a platform to share his ideas about subjects from which men are usually excluded. And really when you think about it isn't this how conversations flow in real life as well? You start out talking about one thing and in trying to make a point meander somewhere else completely! 
**To the person this example is about: thank you for the epiphany, I hope its ok that I used you as an example**

Now I know that perhaps the fashion board is not the best of examples because it certainly tends to be more mellow then the main board for obvious reasons. But I think it does illustrate the dynamics of how misunderstandings can occur. Newbs come in with their guard up because they are unsure of themselves and may sometimes think they are being bullied or attacked when really someone is just trying to explain something to them without the advantage of tone of voice, eye contact, or body language. Likewise, people who have been here a long time may have their guard up against newbies because they have seen their share of trolls, and lets face it, do indeed know more because they have been around longer so are prone for perhaps sometimes jumping the gun and attacking. So yeah seeing some of the dynamics, flames, fights, heated disagreements, on the boards does make it hard to jump in head first but so what. In real life you aren't best friends with someone you meet the second you meet them either, everyone has to warm up to each other by getting to know them. Yes we come here for support and acceptance and friendship, but also for mutual interests, entertainment, and information, and for some people probably for a good fight when they are having a bad day. Just because size acceptance plays a central role at Dims does not mean its an AA meeting where everything you say is in a judgement free zone, nor does it need to be. I for one never thought that's what this place was about and would not find it half as valuable if it was. Alot of what I have learned from reading these boards has come from reading the opinions of people I disagree with because they have left me to rethink my own views.
Ok thats my little diatribe on the newbie question.

The other thing I wanted to touch on was the entertainment aspect. I think I agree that logging on to Dimensions is not like walking home from school and having the bully steal your lunch money knowing you are going to have to go through it again and again. Logging on is voluntary, and for the most part like all things on the internet something we do because we enjoy it and are stimulated by it somehow, in that way yes it is entertainment no matter how serious the subject matter up for debate may be. Given that it, is hard for me to see how one even gets to the point where they feel they are being severely bullied. Unlike walking home from school you have the option of leaving or ignoring the person. I know the response to this is: what about standing up for yourself, but idk.... somehow it doesn't seem the same as standing up for yourself when you are being beaten up by a sixth grader. I am not invalidating the feelings of anyone who thinks they are being bullied, I am just thinking perhaps they need to put it in perspective. In my day I deal with school, work, family, friends, strangers etc. I spend enough energy on those aspects of my life that it is hard for me to see how someone responding to something I say online can actually hurt me. I've never even met them! I can see the argument that if you have interacted with a person online and consider yourself friends it can indeed seem hurtful if they turn on you or disagree with you seemingly out of nowhere. But in reading this thread it seems like most of the people who feel bullied don't feel like it was done by a former friend but instead, by someone who they barely know but for some reason rubbed each other the wrong way. If that is indeed the case then isn't it easier to not give that person a second thought and just go about your day? Think of them like you do the crazy person on the subway, the ones who you probably forget by the time you have gotten to your office.

I know there are so many other sides to this and my not mentioning them is in no way an indication that I don't think they are important but in the interest of not making this post even longer I am going to stop now.


----------



## BarbBBW

fatgirlflyin said:


> I guess it could be that. Part of me also wonders though, if it could be because they don't want to piss the women off. C*uz then who'd post all the pics?*?



LMFAO,.. so true!!


----------



## thatgirl08

fatgirlflyin said:


> hmmmm I can think of 4? Mini, Stan, Wayne, and Dan. There was a guy Vince who got banned, other than that I can't think of any guy who's posted anything particularly inflammatory or controversial.



Yep, that's all I can think of too. Maybe BGB. Oh and that new guy joswitch.



fatgirlflyin said:


> Part of me also wonders though, if it could be because they don't want to piss the women off. Cuz then who'd post all the pics??



I was thinking something along the same lines. It'd be interesting to know exactly how many guys post on a regular basis outside of the lounge, hyde park (when it was in existance), the weight board and the paysite board.


----------



## kayrae

There are most certainly guys who are bullies. PM me to get my list (and I'm not talking about Dan, Mini, Wayne, or BGB).


----------



## TraciJo67

Barb - I don't believe in Dog  Trust me, any issues I may have had with you (and they were minor annoyances that *I* hold responsibility for), bible-thumping views of sin 'n sinners 'n burning in hell was NOT part of the equation. Whatever works for you = great. If I've judged you for being married & flirting anyway, that is my bad. Who the hell am I to judge. 

Also, generally speaking, it's been my experience that men love the drama just as much as we do. They just don't feel as comfortable admitting it. My husband would never in a million years pick up the phone and get the dish from one friend on what's going on with another. He relies on me to scoop the info for him and he's quite avidly interested in what I have to share. 

ThatGirl ... after reading about half a dozen of your posts, your age became meaningless to me. You're intelligent and articulate and it's a pleasure reading what you have to say. Even when you call me a douche. You twat


----------



## thatgirl08

TraciJo67 said:


> ThatGirl ... after reading about half a dozen of your posts, your age became meaningless to me. You're intelligent and articulate and it's a pleasure reading what you have to say. Even when you call me a douche. You twat



Haha, appreciated! :]


----------



## mossystate

TraciJo67 said:


> He relies on me to scoop the info for him and




Yup...yup.

It's like when a man wants a woman to carry, in her purse/bag, the maps... the extra set of keys...the bottles of water...the sunscreen...the snackadoodles...etc..etc...and then complains when she is not keeping up with him, or makes a cute joke/eyerolls over " how the hell do you FIND anything in that junkyard ".

And, yes, who would post all the pictures. Most of the more rotten women don't post a whole lot of them. The younger, rotten, women are excused...that young flesh and all...I mean...come on. 

ThatGirl is out of control...I agree!


----------



## Spanky

I ran some numbers for anyone who is interested. I rounded up or down to the nearest 1000.

In the Top 10 Posters:
8 Women @ 101,000 posts
2 Men @ 35,000 posts

In the Top 20 Posters:
14 Women @ 142,000 posts
6 Men @ 67,000 posts

In the Top 50 Posters:
36 Women @ 267,000 posts
16 Men @ 122,000 posts


If you drop the top and bottom Man posters and the top and bottom Woman posters in the Top 50 (sometimes done in statistics).

34 Women @ 244,000 posts
14 Men @ 92,000 posts


So it is a healthy 2:1 to 2.5:1, Women:Men posters. Just a sample of the top posters. I thought it might be even more skewed to women, but actually, it wasn't as much as I thought.


----------



## thatgirl08

That's interesting Spanky. imo, it'd be even more interesting to see which forums the men vs women tend to post more in.


----------



## Ernest Nagel

Spanky said:


> I ran some numbers for anyone who is interested. I rounded up or down to the nearest 1000.
> 
> In the Top 10 Posters:
> 8 Women @ 101,000 posts
> 2 Men @ 35,000 posts
> 
> In the Top 20 Posters:
> 14 Women @ 142,000 posts
> 6 Men @ 67,000 posts
> 
> In the Top 50 Posters:
> 36 Women @ 267,000 posts
> 16 Men @ 122,000 posts
> 
> 
> If you drop the top and bottom Man posters and the top and bottom Woman posters in the Top 50 (sometimes done in statistics).
> 
> 34 Women @ 244,000 posts
> 14 Men @ 92,000 posts
> 
> 
> So it is a healthy 2:1 to 2.5:1, Women:Men posters. Just a sample of the top posters. I thought it might be even more skewed to women, but actually, it wasn't as much as I thought.



Nice aggregating work, Spanky! I think where you'd see the real gender variation would be in word count though? I think TimberWolf is the champ for men in post #s but his typical post would have room left over on Twitter. Not to devalue that at all but the ladies do the lion's share of heavy lifting here, imo. Look on just about any board (especially now that HP est mort) and we boys are seasoning or simple side dishes, at best. The ladies are the main course. JMO. :bow:


----------



## Spanky

Ernest Nagel said:


> Nice aggregating work, Spanky! I think where you'd see the real gender variation would be in word count though? I think TimberWolf is the champ for men in post #s but his typical post would have room left over on Twitter. Not to devalue that at all but the ladies do the lion's share of heavy lifting here, imo. Look on just about any board (especially now that HP est mort) and we boys are seasoning or simple side dishes, at best. The ladies are the main course. JMO. :bow:



That is why I took out the top and bottom posters in the last count. TW is a mega poster and way off the charts.  <----- non sarcastic smilie


----------



## Spanky

thatgirl08 said:


> That's interesting Spanky. imo, it'd be even more interesting to see which forums the men vs women tend to post more in.



thatgirl, 

I never thought of the Forums I post in, but when you take out HP, Lounge, Main and Paysite, you have

FA/FFA
BBW
GLBTQ
Food
Clothing
Chit Chat
Health
WLS

The rest are geographical, stories, etc. 

For males in general, there would be less posts in BBW, Food, Clothing, Health (since it is would prolly about BBW health and not FA health), and WLS (again BBW and not FA)

Chat maybe, GLBTQ maybe, FA probably. 

The forums tend to lean heavily female. And this is coming from a guy who knits and has posted his knitted wares and likes to cook. 

Maybe some new male leaning Forums to consider.

Cars and Motorcycles Forum
Sports Watching Forum
Sports Doing Forum
The Garage Forum
The Electrical Forum (for imfree, tad and me.....okay Stan gets an honorary)
Cigars and Single Malt Scotch Forum

Okay, I am just kidding, but I think the forums reflect who is the dominant gender on the Boards. No issue with it at all, but the participation numbers are maybe a self-fulfilling prophecy?


----------



## Ernest Nagel

Spanky said:


> That is why I took out the top and bottom posters in the last count. TW is a mega poster and way off the charts.  <----- non sarcastic smilie



Yeah, I thought that was very astute. We call that Olympic scoring sometimes in statistics. My comment still stands though. I think if it were possible to see how many threads are started by women, how many average replies women's posts get vs. men's and subtract the # of postpicsofyourhuge___plz and drool posts by men, the relative contribution of the gals would be embarrassing. Obviously I mean were it not for the fact that they exist to serve and entertain us. 

And while I'm at it what's up with leaving moi off the list of inflammatory male posters?!?  I'm catching shit all the time just for being _innocuous_? I know I'm a bigger asshole than Stan! I think Bio was unfairly left off that list, too, btw. When HP still existed he was about the tallest snark lightning rod around. Just sayin'.


----------



## tonynyc

fatgirlflyin said:


> Do you think its that? Or do you think its that there are just much fewer men who actively post outside of the paysite board? I personally think its the second choice. There aren't nearly as many male posters here as women, so naturally you are going to have a high number of women anything if you compare the two.



*Absolutely- I just notice the differences as to how Male Bullies and Female Bullies are percieved and yes fewer men might post outside the Paysite Board ;but, our community has grown so much we have other Boards as well that can have High Male Participation (Health 'Exercise' thread, BHM/FFA, FA/FFA, Foodee, Weight). It's more like folks find their niche and stay where they can be happy*




BarbBBW said:


> I personally think men could care less. They let stuff roll off their back like ducks in water. Men dont want or need the drama. A few will chime in when they find it necessary , which almost never LOL
> Which is actually good, cause us women have enough to deal with!! hehe



*
Yes to a degree- it's just a different mechanism as to how Men respond to Verbal Conflict - for the 'most' - part it's attacking with Logic, no need for drama and the like the duck "stuff rolls off like water." 
*



Ernest Nagel said:


> Nice aggregating work, Spanky! I think where you'd see the real gender variation would be in word count though? I think TimberWolf is the champ for men in post #s but his typical post would have room left over on Twitter. Not to devalue that at all but the ladies do the lion's share of heavy lifting here, imo. Look on just about any board (especially now that HP est mort) and we boys are seasoning or simple side dishes, at best. The ladies are the main course. JMO. :bow:



*I agree cause it's another interesting way of looking at the numbers be it from a pure Quantitative Basis from Spanky's analysis or a Qualitative method from Ernest looking at the Word Count of TimberWolf. Great work you two *
---------------------------------------------------------

*Now I Like the title of the ESPN sports discussion show Pardon The Interruption....*

*I guess you could say I'm having one of those PTI moments and have to question this "Male Bullies list" -I wonder if it's more of Personality Differences.* 

*Fa Man Stan:*

He has the great tattoo - plus since he resembles a certain celebrity he might have to worry more about the paparazzi than being a Bully.  

---------------------------------------------------
*BGB*







I don't know him;but, do have to question the choice of Avatar. After all, Didn't Chad get knocked silly by Ralph Macchio. Maybe the Cobra Kai mentor in KarateKid III , *Terry Silver (Thomas Ian Griffith)*,
would be more appropriate 






--------------------------
*Dan *
(are we referring to the Dimmer that posted those pictures of himself in the Lounge holding those cute fur ball cats) 

-------------------------------------------

*Mini *
don't know enough just that he's a pretty tall and about as candid as his Avatar

-----------------------------------
*Wayne (who is he)*  
don't know enough to comment 

===========================

*And yes other notable male Dimmers from the past (Vince, Cardeezee1) were banned and have yet to return. Women can be vicious - and Men extremely blunt - which is why some of the past Male offenders have been quickly banned for a variety of reasons.
*


----------



## Spanky

tonynyc said:


> *And yes other notable male Dimmers from the past (Vince, Cardeezee1) were banned and have yet to return. Women can be vicious - and Men extremely blunt - which is why some of the past Male offenders have been banned for a variety of reasons.
> *



Tony,

I never thought of it, but I don't know of any women fully out and out banned for life. There have been more than a few men. I mean, okay, some goosestepped in and goosestepped out, but what does that say of men posting here? I mean do all of us men have a little Bunz88 inside of us?


----------



## Mathias

I thought DELIMAN and Brooklyn Red Leg were bullies but coincidentally when Hyde Park disappeared, so did they. Not that I'm losing any sleep over not seeing Deli's patronizing overly pompous attitude or BRL's profane laced gun tirades though. Life goes on.


----------



## mossystate

Women are illogical and dramatic...Men are blunt and let things roll off their backs...unless it is about whining about some women, or helping to set up the situations that then get ' out of control '...sit back...enjoy, with a nice cold drink and a smirk.

Heh.

There is some real tomfoolery being spouted out here. Tsk...tsk.

Also, I think we would do well...all of us...to be a little more careful with deciding which ways of communicating are superior/inferior. But then, that is an age old battle.


----------



## tonynyc

Spanky said:


> Tony,
> 
> I never thought of it, but I don't know of any women fully out and out banned for life. There have been more than a few men. I mean, okay, some goosestepped in and goosestepped out, but what does that say of men posting here? I mean do all of us men have a little Bunz88 inside of us?



*
Hmmm 
And using that logic does that mean that All the gorgeous Women here have a little Kelligirl in them  Oh Shit I can't believe i said that :doh:
I might have to change my nick or request Bodyguards.... 
*

*
But seriously... you've had guys (on 1st impression) that were so over the top "fucking nasty" that there was no chance for them to even become part of the community to see them develope into the "male bully" that they could be 

*


----------



## thatgirl08

thatgirl08 said:


> Yep, that's all I can think of too. Maybe BGB. Oh and that new guy joswitch.
> 
> 
> 
> I was thinking something along the same lines. It'd be interesting to know exactly how many guys post on a regular basis outside of the lounge, hyde park (when it was in existance), the weight board and the paysite board.





Spanky said:


> thatgirl,
> 
> I never thought of the Forums I post in, but when you take out HP, Lounge, Main and Paysite, you have
> 
> FA/FFA
> BBW
> GLBTQ
> Food
> Clothing
> Chit Chat
> Health
> WLS
> 
> The rest are geographical, stories, etc.
> 
> For males in general, there would be less posts in BBW, Food, Clothing, Health (since it is would prolly about BBW health and not FA health), and WLS (again BBW and not FA)
> 
> Chat maybe, GLBTQ maybe, FA probably.
> 
> The forums tend to lean heavily female. And this is coming from a guy who knits and has posted his knitted wares and likes to cook.
> 
> Maybe some new male leaning Forums to consider.
> 
> Cars and Motorcycles Forum
> Sports Watching Forum
> Sports Doing Forum
> The Garage Forum
> The Electrical Forum (for imfree, tad and me.....okay Stan gets an honorary)
> Cigars and Single Malt Scotch Forum
> 
> Okay, I am just kidding, but I think the forums reflect who is the dominant gender on the Boards. No issue with it at all, but the participation numbers are maybe a self-fulfilling prophecy?



I get what you're saying and I do agree to an extent, however, I said paysite, weight, lounge and HP. The main board is actually one of the places where I think there is a severe lack of male posters where there should be. Same with the FA/FFA forum.. there are of course a few guys who post pretty regularly there but it seems to have slowed down signifcantly since it opened and it seems like the same group of guys who are responding. I think it'd be nice to see some new faces in there.


----------



## tonynyc

Mathias said:


> I thought DELIMAN and Brooklyn Red Leg were bullies but coincidentally when Hyde Park disappeared, so did they. Not that I'm losing any sleep over not seeing Deli's patronizing overly pompous attitude or BRL's profane laced gun tirades though. Life goes on.



Well one was_ 'pompous' _and the other a _'redneck buffon' _good riddance - not worth the time and energy and in some respect not only does life go on-but, Dims become a better place.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

kayrae said:


> Dan and Mini have offered themselves up. I do think they're guys.



How are you sooooo sure there, Missy? *puts on a suspicious look* 



kayrae said:


> There are most certainly guys who are bullies. PM me to get my list (and I'm not talking about Dan, Mini, Wayne, or BGB).



I will PM you.......RIGHT NOW! I am going to PM you.......RIGHT NOW!

*goes to PM Kayrae....NOW!*


----------



## BarbBBW

TraciJo67 said:


> Barb - I don't believe in Dog  Trust me, any issues I may have had with you (and they were minor annoyances that *I* hold responsibility for), bible-thumping views of sin 'n sinners 'n burning in hell was NOT part of the equation. Whatever works for you = great. If I've judged you for being married & flirting anyway, that is my bad. Who the hell am I to judge.
> 
> Also, generally speaking, it's been my experience that men love the drama just as much as we do. They just don't feel as comfortable admitting it. My husband would never in a million years pick up the phone and get the dish from one friend on what's going on with another. He relies on me to scoop the info for him and he's quite avidly interested in what I have to share.
> 
> ThatGirl ... after reading about half a dozen of your posts, your age became meaningless to me. You're intelligent and articulate and it's a pleasure reading what you have to say. Even when you call me a douche. You twat



thank you Traci I appreciate that alot more than you know! Now can I hug you hehehhe


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

fatgirlflyin said:


> hmmmm I can think of 4? Mini, Stan, Wayne, and Dan. There was a guy Vince who got banned, other than that I can't think of any guy who's posted anything particularly inflammatory or controversial.



You forgot William...and Russell Williams. 

I can think of some more- but don't care to name them


----------



## tonynyc

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> You forgot William...and Russell Williams.
> 
> I can think of some more- but don't care to name them



We'll get that information out of ya one way or the other - don't make me call Mr. Cena


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

tonynyc said:


> We'll get that information out of ya one way or the other - don't make me call Mr. Cena




I said that Mr Cena could get me to shut up....not talk


----------



## James

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> You forgot William...and Russell Williams.
> 
> I can think of some more- but don't care to name them



Just for info (in case it wasn't known)... William is banned permanently.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

James said:


> Just for info (in case it wasn't known)... William is banned permanently.



I was not aware- I have had him on ignore for months though could be why


----------



## BarbBBW

fatgirlflyin said:


> hmmmm I can think of 4? Mini, Stan, Wayne, and Dan. There was a guy Vince who got banned, other than that I can't think of any guy who's posted anything particularly inflammatory or controversial.



hey dont forget my hubby, XFAQTOR,...he lasted what ,.. a week on here? Before fighting with many and showing a NUDE private part pic HOLY SHIT then banned permanently LMFAO


----------



## Mathias

I'd say Joswitch is one.


----------



## Mini

For the record, I clearly said that I'm *not* a bully, just that some people might perceive me as one. I'd say overall I'm a positive force on this board, if for no other reason than I am way more attractive than most of the other guys.


----------



## thatgirl08

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> You forgot William...and Russell Williams.
> 
> I can think of some more- but don't care to name them



agreed, although not bullies they are certainly inflammatory. 



James said:


> Just for info (in case it wasn't known)... William is banned permanently.



REALLY. I didn't know this. Interesting.



Mathias said:


> I'd say Joswitch is one.



Totally called this already!


----------



## Mini

James said:


> Just for info (in case it wasn't known)... William is banned permanently.



Truly proof of a benevolent Dimensions deity.


----------



## tonynyc

Mathias said:


> I'd say Joswitch is one.




In an amusing fun way I envision Joswitch along the lines Maj Winchester ; especially, when he mentioned his Academic credentials in one of this post.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Hey Mini - for what it's worth, you are not a bully. I have actually come to appreciate your humor. Bully??? Fuck no. 

I love how the bullies are now pointing fingers at everyone else. Am I a bully?? LOL - if I am I'm a piss poor one. 

Carry on - this thread gets more like "The Lord of the Flies" hourly.


----------



## Mathias

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Hey Mini - for what it's worth, you are not a bully. I have actually come to appreciate your humor. Bully??? Fuck no.
> 
> I love how the bullies are now pointing fingers at everyone else. Am I a bully?? LOL - if I am I'm a piss poor one.
> 
> Carry on - this thread gets more like "The Lord of the Flies" hourly.



Well my bullshit detector just went off.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Mathias said:


> Well my bullshit detector just went off.



Really? You know me that well?? LOL If I gave a flying fuck what your opinion is - I might give you a second thought. Go run along now. Doesn't your mommy limit your internet time?? 

View attachment middle_finger.jpg


----------



## fffff

uh oh someone's dragging out the cross.....


----------



## Mathias

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Really? You know me that well?? LOL If I gave a flying fuck what your opinion is - I might give you a second thought. Go run along now. Doesn't your mommy limit your internet time??



Nope. Seeing as how I paid for my own computer.  And we only know you by what you post so you can't play the "WAAAHHH F you you don't know me!!" card either.


----------



## thatgirl08

Seriously Sandie, your passive agressiveness is closer to bullying than anything I've seen in this thread thus far so stop your bitching.


----------



## Weeze

James said:


> Just for info (in case it wasn't known)... William is banned permanently.



NO FUCKING WAY.

I just came a little.


----------



## Mathias

James said:


> Just for info (in case it wasn't known)... William is banned permanently.



Well, who's going to complain about us being a clique now?


----------



## tonynyc

Mathias said:


> Well, who's going to complain about us being a clique now?



_"Never again will the Boards be graced by this "Avatar"_








*I hope you all are fucking happy now*


----------



## Weeze

Susannah said:


> She is not mean unless you deserve it. What crap. But Yo I must just be a hater.
> That statement takes a lot of nerve on your part.
> I could care less about somebody's chat persona. I can read a person quite
> quickly, and I know what I know.



I was talking about in chat, susannah. To be honest, I don't really know what the fuck i ever did you you.... 
in fact, i just realized that responding to that isn't worth it, since you obviously did NOT get what I was talking about. 



Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Doesn't your mommy limit your internet time??



Wow. Did you really just say that?
Get off your fucking high horse.


----------



## Surlysomething

It's mind boggling how there are _seemingly_ different rules for different people on this site. The rampant personal attacks, the filthy language, the general disregard for any semblance of respect and dare I say, friendliness in this thread is unbelievable.


Can someone PLEASE shoot this thread in the face and be over with it.


----------



## SocialbFly

tonynyc said:


> _"Never again will the Boards be graced by this "Avatar"_
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *I hope you all are fucking happy now*



damn...i was this close to trying out the ignore button here...rats....

Tina, you better share that cake....just saying...


----------



## SocialbFly

irish_redhead said:


> I've been mulling this thread over since it was first posted, and keeping up on it.
> 
> I'm primarily only a lurker - that's how it is, that's how it's going to stay. When I'm bored or insomniac, I may participate more. But I often don't feel compelled to.
> 
> I've had relationships with some members here that go back nearly 10 years (formed elsewhere) and I think it's a shame that I don't even desire to spend more time chatting with them here. I lurk in the areas that interest me, and avoid the areas that don't.
> 
> I'd LIKE to feel more comfortable here. In reality, some experiences 9 years ago impacted myself as a BBW, my self-esteem and confidence, and my emotional satisfaction with myself - and I have some SA and Dims or Dims-minded people to thank for that.
> 
> But what influences my decision to post (or not to) are the personalities I see here. I saw someone mention that knowing a person IRL is different than knowing them online - because they are a bitch online has no bearing on whether they are a wonderful person IRL. To some extent, perhaps more attention should be paid to getting to know each other IRL. On the other hand - my belief is that my opinions of an online entity are probably far more accurate than how they present themselves face to face. The internet offers anonymity, and with that comes a certain comfort to present yourself as you are with no facade of etiquette or conformity to societally accepted behaviour. Online you can be yourself - for better or worse - and not hide opinions or aspects that would be deemed by RL friends or accqaintances to be immoral, unethical, rude, offensive or otherwise unacceptable.
> 
> It's some of these personalities that I've grown to dislike. Whether they are bullies or not, or simply act holier than thou / immature / condescending / bigoted etc. it is because I have no patience with them that I don't post. I see a lot of them posting here - and, from an outsiders view - often it seems that the first person to cry about others not being held accountable for personal attacks have no insight into the fact that they themselves are the most guilty. If you don't know the history between 2 people, and you aren't involved directly in a dispute, you get a whole different perspective on the situation and sometimes wonder "are they so delusional that they don't get it?"
> 
> So I'll continue to lurk here, clicking away as soon as I read a thread that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. When I'm bored and looking for drama, I'll check out someone's "latest posts" and see them act like idiots in multiple threads... and then I'll return to a more regular forum of mine - where people discuss scary movies, extreme/graphic violence, disembowelments, flesh-eating zombies, tortureporn, slashers, and other morally repugnant stuff. It's a pretty sad statement when that group of individuals are a far more compassionate, welcoming and open-minded group than those in a place devoted to "acceptance."



my dearest....the ignore button works here just as well as on mirc, hugs and i miss ya...


----------



## OneWickedAngel

*:shocked:**HOLY HYDE PARK REVISITED BATMAN!! :shocked:*
*WTF HAPPENED TO THIS THREAD?!?!*​


----------



## tonynyc

Surlysomething said:


> It's mind boggling how there are _seemingly_ different rules for different people on this site. The rampant personal attacks, the filthy language, the general disregard for any semblance of respect and dare I say, friendliness in this thread is unbelievable.



Well you have to put things in perspective - it's the internet - As for this thread- sometimes you need that outlet and maybe this thread serves that purposes and despite the fact that some of the language might not be your cup of tea ( you haven't seen any folks get Banned as of yet)... Within reason I think the Mods are letting this thread go and perhaps it will go quietly....It has it's peaks and valleys... If anything sometimes innocent humor is needed as well....

Now you've expressed your earlier displeasure about this thread and yes the filthy language ...

If you keep up along this line of thinking ... Now I'm only saying this in a good way. You might be thought of as our Major Margaret J. Houlihan.
Joswitch by default is Maj. Winchester...


----------



## mossystate

* hums to self....waits *


----------



## Mathias

Good night everyone!


----------



## StarWitness

tonynyc said:


> If you keep up along this line of thinking ... Now I'm only saying this in a good way. You might be thought of as our Major Margaret J. Houlihan.
> Joswitch by default is Maj. Winchester...





Whoever ends up being the Dims equivalent of Radar is getting glomped. Just warning you now.

*assumes attack position*


----------



## Shosh

I have come to the conclusion that I shall employ the ignore button on a more frequent basis.
People that I find objectionable then cease to exist.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Bite Me!!

(not you Sussanah) Tony that was for your enjoyment.


----------



## tonynyc

OneWickedAngel said:


> *:shocked:**HOLY HYDE PARK REVISITED BATMAN!! :shocked:*
> *WTF HAPPENED TO THIS THREAD?!?!*​



*
I think "Batman" has left the Building....
Bruce Lee would have kicked the crap out of Adam West "Batman" and especially Burt Ward "Robin"- Just Saying...* :bow:


----------



## tonynyc

fffff said:


> uh oh someone's dragging out the cross.....



*I thought that was the long forgotten Hyde Park Salute *


----------



## Fascinita

James said:


> Just for info (in case it wasn't known)... William is banned permanently.



How come? Since when?  ......


----------



## Weeze

Just throwing it out there, if you're old enough to be on here, you can handle reading the word "fuck"... and not need to call it THE F-BOMB.


----------



## kayrae

I am thoroughly enjoying this thread.


----------



## KHayes666

Mini said:


> For the record, I clearly said that I'm *not* a bully, just that some people might perceive me as one. I'd say overall I'm a positive force on this board, if for no other reason than *I am waymore attractive than most of the other guys.*









I shouldn't be seeing Tony as Jiminy Crickett but for some reason at 6 in the morning, it makes sense.


----------



## Tau

James said:


> Just for info (in case it wasn't known)... William is banned permanently.



What do you have to do to get permanently banned? I should probably go look for the rules somewhere.


----------



## LillyBBBW

James said:


> Just for info (in case it wasn't known)... William is banned permanently.



GET OUT!! He's been banned? What did he do? Boy am I out of the loop. I just thought he was merely annoying at times and no more. :doh:


----------



## mergirl

Susannah said:


> I have come to the conclusion that I shall employ the ignore button on a more frequent basis.
> People that I find objectionable then cease to exist.



Ahhh but if a bear shits in the woods and no one is watching, does the bear get constipated??

For the record, i have never seen any bullying behaviour from mossy the gorgon. I have seen her pulling up people that are being offensive a few times as the theme tune to chariots of fire goes through my head though. The more i read this thread the more i think people have a very different expererence of here.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

Mathias said:


> Well my bullshit detector just went off.





thatgirl08 said:


> Seriously Sandie, your passive agressiveness is closer to bullying than anything I've seen in this thread thus far so stop your bitching.



I think you two really need to show some respect.

Sandie and I have been members of NAAFA since it's inception in 1850 and I can tell you right now, she was never and has never been what I'd call a bully.


----------



## TraciJo67

BothGunsBlazing said:


> I think you two really need to show some respect.
> 
> Sandie and I have been members of NAAFA since it's inception in 1850 and I can tell you right now, she was never and has never been what I'd call a bully.



I don't care who you are, that's funny right there. Though I always thought of you as the type of person who was the dog-pil_ee_, BGB


----------



## LoveBHMS

BothGunsBlazing said:


> I think you two really need to show some respect.
> 
> Sandie and I have been members of NAAFA since it's inception in 1850 and I can tell you right now, she was never and has never been what I'd call a bully.



Fatter longer than anybody else you two.


----------



## Shosh

mergirl said:


> Ahhh but if a bear shits in the woods and no one is watching, does the bear get constipated??
> 
> For the record, i have never seen any bullying behaviour from mossy the gorgon. I have seen her pulling up people that are being offensive a few times as the theme tune to chariots of fire goes through my head though. The more i read this thread the more i think people have a very different expererence of here.



Well I am pleased for you then.

When I was temporarily banned she could barely contain her glee, and went on to make numerous assumptions about the reasons I was banned, based on her false perceptions of my character. The assumptions were of course incorrect and offbase.

Another person remarked that the abuse is only handed out to those that "Deserve it". 
That is so pompous in my mind. Who is she to determine who " Deserves" what? 

As I said her following is cult like.

As for the other issue you spoke of regarding myself, I do believe I addressed it privately with you. I am sorry for it, it was not humorous looking back on it now, even though I make myself the object of jokes regarding my disability. I am sorry for it.


----------



## mergirl

Susannah said:


> As for the other issue you spoke of regarding myself, I do believe I addressed it privately with you. I am sorry for it, it was not humorous looking back on it now, even though I make myself the object of jokes regarding my disability. I am sorry for it.



Whoah! It WAS funny. That was my point!! I was trying to illustrate how things can get mixed up sometimes and people can take things in different ways depending on how they are feeling. Read my post again. I really wasn't attacking you, i was just making a point and this was an example that sprung to mind because it had just happened. 
i remember why you were banned. I have thanked you for it!


----------



## TraciJo67

Susannah, I don't really remember the circumstances that you've listed here, aside from a few general things. Monique may have made a veiled reference to your banning ... once ... and definitely in a more circuitous way. I'm not even sure of that. But what I'd like to ask you is: Why can't you let this go? Why have you held onto this for so long? Let's assume that everything you said is objectively true, and you were genuinely wronged. At some point, nursing your wounds in public starts to look like a vendetta. I've long ago stopped believing that Monique genuinely hurt you, as it appears to me that what you're really on about is an attempt to rally the troops to your defense. To what end? What would make you happy here? Would it satisfy you if everyone agreed that yes, Monique is a terrible person who attacked your fine character, and then subsequently shunned her? I think you need to look at your options, choose a realistic one, and then let this whole thing go. It would be far better for you, in the long run.



Susannah said:


> Well I am pleased for you then.
> 
> When I was temporarily banned she could barely contain her glee, and went on to make numerous assumptions about the reasons I was banned, based on her false perceptions of my character. The assumptions were of course incorrect and offbase.
> 
> Another person remarked that the abuse is only handed out to those that "Deserve it".
> That is so pompous in my mind. Who is she to determine who " Deserves" what?
> 
> As I said her following is cult like.
> 
> As for the other issue you spoke of regarding myself, I do believe I addressed it privately with you. I am sorry for it, it was not humorous looking back on it now, even though I make myself the object of jokes regarding my disability. I am sorry for it.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Tracy, what is the answer to your pop quiz? I'm stumped, lol.


----------



## Mathias

LillyBBBW said:


> GET OUT!! He's been banned? What did he do? Boy am I out of the loop. I just thought he was merely annoying at times and no more. :doh:



If I had to take a guess, I'd say it was for his comments in the "Are the mods homophobic" thread. I don't know that for certain though.


----------



## TraciJo67

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Tracy, what is the answer to your pop quiz? I'm stumped, lol.



Well, it is rather like something that Paris Hilton would say, don't you think?


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Tracy, what is the answer to your pop quiz? I'm stumped, lol.



Shoot the hostage.


----------



## fffff

> Well, it is rather like something that Paris Hilton would say, don't you think?




"incidious," "enslave"? Paris Hilton could not say that.


----------



## mergirl

Tau said:


> What do you have to do to get permanently banned? I should probably go look for the rules somewhere.



Yeah, i'm wondering this too. I did seem to be a kinna one trick pony and repetative but never seemed to break any rules as far is i know.
I WANT THE GOSSIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, pretty much just beth ditto really?? ta tum dum..


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

fffff said:


> "incidious," "enslave"? Paris Hilton could not say that.



lol. That's what I was thinking. 

Paris Hilton would say: Obesity is bad, it like, makes people ugly and fat. That's not hot.

lol


----------



## tonynyc

BothGunsBlazing said:


> I think you two really need to show some respect.
> 
> Sandie and I have been members of NAAFA since it's inception in 1850 and I can tell you right now, she was never and has never been what I'd call a bully.



BGB you have got the change that Avatar - folks cannot envision tough guy with Chad


----------



## LillyBBBW

mergirl said:


> Yeah, i'm wondering this too. I did seem to be a kinna one trick pony and repetative but never seemed to break any rules as far is i know.
> I WANT THE GOSSIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> Well, pretty much just beth ditto really?? ta tum dum..



Apparently being a soul draining repetative bore with a stylisticly offensive avatar is a bannable offense here at Dimensions. Who knew? :blink:


----------



## Tau

LillyBBBW said:


> Apparently being a soul draining repetative bore with a stylisticly offensive avatar is a bannable offense here at Dimensions. Who knew? :blink:


 Oh! Oh, sweet mother of christ! *iz ded from laffing* That was glorious - thank you


----------



## tonynyc

KHayes666 said:


> I shouldn't be seeing Tony as Jiminy Crickett but for some reason at 6 in the morning, it makes sense.



We have the same first name- you learn something new about someone each day 

---------------------------



Fascinita said:


> How come? Since when?  ......





Tau said:


> What do you have to do to get permanently banned? I should probably go look for the rules somewhere.





LillyBBBW said:


> GET OUT!! He's been banned? What did he do? Boy am I out of the loop. I just thought he was merely annoying at times and no more. :doh:





Mathias said:


> If I had to take a guess, I'd say it was for his comments in the "Are the mods homophobic" thread. I don't know that for certain though.



======================
Hi All:
Everyone seems shocked and upset. He may be off to greener pastures;but, that doesn't mean that you cannot share this lovely Rememberance Avatar.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

tonynyc said:


> BGB you have got the change that Avatar - folks cannot envision tough guy with Chad



What do you mean? Chad? That is Johnny! He kicked Danny's ass throughout the movie. Johnny is the ultimate 80s bully. Except for potentially James Spader in Pretty In Pink .. who .. looks .. a lot like Billy Zabka in Karate Kid. 

WTF.


----------



## tonynyc

BothGunsBlazing said:


> What do you mean? Chad? That is Johnny! He kicked Danny's ass throughout the movie. Johnny is the ultimate 80s bully. Except for potentially James Spader in Pretty In Pink .. who .. looks .. a lot like Billy Zabka in Karate Kid.
> 
> WTF.



Ah James Spader the ultimate 80's Bully.....


----------



## KHayes666

BothGunsBlazing said:


> What do you mean? Chad? That is Johnny! He kicked Danny's ass throughout the movie. Johnny is the ultimate 80s bully. Except for potentially James Spader in Pretty In Pink .. who .. looks .. a lot like Billy Zabka in Karate Kid.
> 
> WTF.



bah......to hell with Chad






Terry Silver for life!



An interesting side note, Thomas Ian Griffith who played Terry Silver was 1 year YOUNGER than Ralph Macchio at the time of The Karate Kid 3, who would have thunk it?


----------



## Miss Vickie

BothGunsBlazing said:


>



Yummy! Thanks for the eye candy!


----------



## tonynyc

KHayes666 said:


> bah......to hell with Chad
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Terry Silver for life!
> 
> An interesting side note, Thomas Ian Griffith who played Terry Silver was 1 year YOUNGER than Ralph Macchio at the time of The Karate Kid 3, who would have thunk it?



Yep- Thomas Ian Griffith legit badass in real life with a Black Belt in Kenpo & TKD.


----------



## KHayes666

tonynyc said:


> Yep- Thomas Ian Griffith legit badass in real life with a Black Belt in Kenpo & TKD.



Still.....I always thought my favorite T.I.G. role was this:






He could have whipped both Baldwin and Woods singlehandedly in real life lol


----------



## Blackjack

My understanding of it is that William was banned for constantly shit-stirring.


----------



## Wayne_Zitkus

I think it's hilarious that I have been identified as a "forum bully" on this thread - simply because I am not afraid to state an opinion, and to defend myself or my wife when attacked.

I've found that the real forum bullies have done a wonderful job of identifying themselves throughout this thread through their words and deeds. Perhaps that was why The Chief started this thread.....


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Fascinita said:


> How come? Since when?  ......



It is not your place to question the blessings of our Lord.....



BigBellySSBBW said:


> Tracy, what is the answer to your pop quiz? I'm stumped, lol.





TraciJo67 said:


> Well, it is rather like something that Paris Hilton would say, don't you think?





fffff said:


> "incidious," "enslave"? Paris Hilton could not say that.



I tend to think it's Carnie Wilson. 



LillyBBBW said:


> Apparently being a soul draining repetative bore with a stylisticly offensive avatar is a bannable offense here at Dimensions. Who knew? :blink:



I tried so hard to rep you for soul draining....omg, you hit the nail on the head.


----------



## KHayes666

Blackjack said:


> My understanding of it is that William was banned for constantly shit-stirring.



Not going to complain about him being banned, but there are a few others who are guilty of the same thing....why aren't they banned too?

I don't remember who it was, but someone made a great point about how apparently it depends on the person and their rep that determines the course of action.

A few people on this thread have taken shots at each other and neither have been banned, meanwhile over on another thread I've went toe to toe with the same ppl and we're both still standing.

Now you get a newb (i HATE that word) to say the exact same thing I or Shoshie says, to any of the "bullies", and they're gone just like that *snaps fingers*. In William's case he was primarily a shit disturber and a general miserable so and so, since he really wasn't liked (judging by people pretty much jumping for joy when they find out he was banned) he was given the heave ho. But there are other members who are also train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.....and they don't get so much a warning.

*shrugs* Just the way things go around here I guess


----------



## Mathias

Wayne_Zitkus said:


> I think it's hilarious that I have been identified as a "forum bully" on this thread - simply because I am not afraid to state an opinion, and to defend myself or my wife when attacked.
> 
> I've found that the real forum bullies have done a wonderful job of identifying themselves throughout this thread through their words and deeds. Perhaps that was why The Chief started this thread.....



You can state an opinion, Only your problem is that you've got a serious tendency to be condescending and rude when you do. See the Micheal Jackson threads if you don't get it. That's why your name was thrown around.


----------



## tonynyc

So Greenie: if John Cena can't make you talk would the threat of the _"Great Khali Kiss Cam" _do the trick....


----------



## KHayes666

tonynyc said:


> So Greenie: if John Cena can't make you talk would the threat of the _"Great Khali Kiss Cam" _do the trick....



Come on, you know his most famous kiss was none other than:


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

Mathias said:


> You can state an opinion, Only your problem is that you've got a serious tendency to be condescending and rude when you do. See the Micheal Jackson threads if you don't get it. That's why your name was thrown around.



IT'S ALMOST 1PM. ISN'T IT PAST YOUR BEDTIME?


----------



## Wayne_Zitkus

BothGunsBlazing said:


> IT'S ALMOST 1PM. ISN'T IT PAST YOUR BEDTIME?


SO THAT'S what he had to say about me. I have that guy on "Ignore" - glad to know he's still not posting anything worth reading....


----------



## Mathias

thatgirl08 said:


> I don't remember saying she didn't have that right. Don't I get to state how I feel too?
> 
> 
> 
> I hardly ever post to you and when I do, I call you on your bs. If that makes me snotty, sarcastic and a bully, so be it. I don't not like you.. I don't even know you, at all. I'm just responding to you based on what you've said on the board. I mean, it is a discussion forum, right? 50% of your posts are you attacking someone and the other 50% is you playing the victim. Oh the people here are SO MEAN TO ME. Have you seen your own attitude lately?
> 
> 
> 
> This.
> 
> 
> 
> and this.
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah, generally when I don't agree with someone about something I fall back on personal attacks. And don't even tell me for a second this isn't one. I realize this board is made up mostly of people who are twice my age but I'm 18 years old, an adult, and I have just as much of a right to post here as you do. Instead of calling me out on being a teenager everytime I say something you don't like, you could try discussing it with me. I know that would require you to actually read what I say, think about it, and formulate a coherant response but I really, truly believe that you and everyone else on the board is capable of it.



Just one man's opinion on me, but enjoyed this post.


----------



## kayrae

Hmmm... what did Methodists do to deserve a warning?
One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn't belong,
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song? 



KHayes666 said:


> Now you get a newb (i HATE that word) to say the exact same thing I or Shoshie says, to any of the "bullies", and they're gone just like that *snaps fingers*. In William's case he was primarily a shit disturber and a general miserable so and so, since he really wasn't liked (judging by people pretty much jumping for joy when they find out he was banned) he was given the heave ho.* But there are other members who are also train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.....and they don't get so much a warning.*
> 
> *shrugs* Just the way things go around here I guess


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Were you identified as a bully?
_I_Identified you as someone who posts controversial responses. I don't feel there really are any bullies here, maybe some people who don't know how to behave. But not bullies, not in the real sense of the word anyway. 





Wayne_Zitkus said:


> I think it's hilarious that I have been identified as a "forum bully" on this thread - simply because I am not afraid to state an opinion, and to defend myself or my wife when attacked.
> 
> I've found that the real forum bullies have done a wonderful job of identifying themselves throughout this thread through their words and deeds. Perhaps that was why The Chief started this thread.....


----------



## Tooz

Wayne_Zitkus said:


> SO THAT'S what he had to say about me. I have that guy on "Ignore" - glad to know he's still not posting anything worth reading....



And you're not a bully? Well, color me confused.

:eat2::eat1::wubu::smitten:


----------



## rainyday

:doh: Deleted. Figured out my own vapid question.


----------



## Tooz

rainyday said:


> If you have him on ignore, how did you know Mathias's post was even about you?



I think he meant BGB.


----------



## Miss Vickie

Tooz said:


> I think he meant BGB.



Yeah but he's quoting BGB. Can you do that when you have someone on ignore?

Oh well, whatever. I'm just relieved that Wayne's not a bully. All's right with the word, I suppose.


----------



## Mathias

I think quite a few people here think I'm very interesting, among some other positive qualities of mine. Those that don't think so aren't worth my time.  Or they can't see it because they got pissy and put me on ignore.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Wayne_Zitkus said:


> I think it's hilarious that I have been identified as a "forum bully" on this thread - simply because I am not afraid to state an opinion, and to defend myself or my wife when attacked.
> 
> I've found that the real forum bullies have done a wonderful job of identifying themselves throughout this thread through their words and deeds. Perhaps that was why The Chief started this thread.....



OOoo, we're being deliberately inflammatory today! Can I play too? I'm actually in the mood for it. "Stating your opinion." Wow. That's actually very funny. Harangue seems more fitting. By the way, didn't you leave here in a huff a couple of times too? Howling protest the whole way out the door because no one would cower before you and your awfully wedded wife? I was actually surprised to hear your name mentioned at all. You are not significant. If you are a bully then the definition is simply meaningless. You and William share a lot in common actually.


----------



## rainyday

Man, you people are quick. That'll teach me to get my pointing finger out and imply, "liar, liar pants on fire" before I think things through.


----------



## Miss Vickie

LillyBBBW said:


> OOoo, we're being deliberately inflammatory today! Can I play too? I'm actually in the mood for it. "Stating your opinion." Wow. That's actually very funny. Harangue seems more fitting. By the way, didn't you leave here in a huff a couple of times too? Howling protest the whole way out the door because no one would cower before you and your awfully wedded wife? I was actually surprised to hear your name mentioned at all. You are not significant. If you are a bully then the definition is simply meaningless. You and William share a lot in common actually.



Quoted for... oh, damn. Quoted just because.


----------



## tonynyc

Blackjack said:


> My understanding of it is that William was banned for constantly shit-stirring.



I also recall that you gave him a hell of a verbal smackdown before he left - so in a sense - you were able to give him a 'parting present' that no other Dimmer (exception of Mod Banning) could

WHo knows if he had used a another way manner of expressing the message ...maybe the results would have been different...




KHayes666 said:


> Not going to complain about him being banned, but there are a few others who are guilty of the same thing....why aren't they banned too?
> 
> I don't remember who it was, but someone made a great point about how apparently it depends on the person and their rep that determines the course of action.
> 
> A few people on this thread have taken shots at each other and neither have been banned, *meanwhile over on another thread I've went toe to toe with the same ppl and we're both still standing.*
> 
> Now you get a newb (i HATE that word) to say the exact same thing I or Shoshie says, to any of the "bullies", and they're gone just like that *snaps fingers*.
> 
> *In William's case he was primarily a shit disturber and a general miserable so and so, since he really wasn't liked *
> 
> *shrugs* Just the way things go around here I guess



Kevin: 
I just highlighted your two points. That's the unfairness sometimes in life - folks that are popular sometimes escape punishment. Some people can be charming in the way that they do things others not. If William was well liked - this would not even have been an issue. 

And at the end of the Day you are still in Dims - and you've done what you felt that you had to do to...  



Wayne_Zitkus said:


> SO THAT'S what he had to say about me. I have that guy on "Ignore" - glad to know he's still not posting anything worth reading....



Well that also makes for a shorter reading experience and when you think of it - you Ignore enough 'posters'- you can almost achieve a 'Cliff Notes' version of this thread...


----------



## Miss Vickie

rainyday said:


> Man, you people are quick. That'll teach me to get my pointing finger out and imply, "liar, liar pants on fire" before I think things through.



Well, but I'm still confused. How can you quote someone when you have them on ignore? Of course, I don't get the whole ignore thing. Just seems kind of silly to me, like a lame-oh weapon, "I'll just IGNORE you because you bother me." Uhhh....so? Ignore away, if it makes you feel better!


----------



## tonynyc

LillyBBBW said:


> OOoo, we're being deliberately inflammatory today! Can I play too? I'm actually in the mood for it. "Stating your opinion." Wow. That's actually very funny. Harangue seems more fitting. By the way, didn't you leave here in a huff a couple of times too? Howling protest the whole way out the door because no one would cower before you and your awfully wedded wife? I was actually surprised to hear your name mentioned at all. You are not significant. If you are a bully then the definition is simply meaningless. You and William share a lot in common actually.



*Now that's a fucking mean Avatar ...*


----------



## Wagimawr

LillyBBBW said:


> a couple of times


then


LillyBBBW said:


> a couple of times


then


LillyBBBW said:


> a couple of times


again!


----------



## rainyday

Miss Vickie said:


> Well, but I'm still confused. How can you quote someone when you have them on ignore? Of course, I don't get the whole ignore thing. Just seems kind of silly to me, like a lame-oh weapon, "I'll just IGNORE you because you bother me." Uhhh....so? Ignore away, if it makes you feel better!



BGB quoted him and he must have read it there. At least that's how I figured it.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Name calling??? Stooping kinda low aren't you Lilly?? I mean even for you this is low. And let me tell you something about my man - he's 200% better than most here on a bad day! Jealous much?





LillyBBBW said:


> OOoo, we're being deliberately inflammatory today! Can I play too? I'm actually in the mood for it. "Stating your opinion." Wow. That's actually very funny. Harangue seems more fitting. By the way, didn't you leave here in a huff a couple of times too? Howling protest the whole way out the door because no one would cower before you and your awfully wedded wife? I was actually surprised to hear your name mentioned at all. You are not significant. If you are a bully then the definition is simply meaningless. You and William share a lot in common actually.


----------



## Mathias

rainyday said:


> BGB quoted him and he must have read it there. At least that's how I figured it.



But the fact that he addressed me even in third person proves he's a shit stirrer. Not sure why he'd give a damn otherwise.


----------



## Miss Vickie

rainyday said:


> BGB quoted him and he must have read it there. At least that's how I figured it.



Oh, now I get it. I just didn't see Matthias's quote in what Wayne quoted, so I was confused. I think Matt's a sweetie pie. I don't know why *anyone* would put him on ignore. I guess I musta missed some brouhaha or another.

I still think ignoring is silly, though, especially when you go on to respond to what the person said who you're supposedly ignoring.

The mind? Is boggled.


----------



## Wayne_Zitkus

tonynyc said:


> Well that also makes for a shorter reading experience and when you think of it - you Ignore enough 'posters'- you can almost achieve a 'Cliff Notes' version of this thread...


I don't put many people on "Ignore" - just the ones who prove themselves unworthy of participating with in conversations. I added two people to my "ignore" list during the Michael Jackson brouhaha - the first additions in about two years. 

And generally speaking, the people I put on my "ignore" list more often than not wind up getting banned for ticking other people off as well.


----------



## Miss Vickie

Mathias said:


> But the fact that he addressed me even in third person proves he's a shit stirrer. Not sure why he'd give a damn otherwise.



So Matt, tell me what you did to piss Wayne off. In PM if necessary. You always seem so even handed, I'm genuinely surprised that anyone would ignore you. Have you been a naughty fellow?


----------



## Mathias

Miss Vickie said:


> Oh, now I get it. I just didn't see Matthias's quote in what Wayne quoted, so I was confused. I think Matt's a sweetie pie. I don't know why *anyone* would put him on ignore. I guess I musta missed some brouhaha or another.
> 
> I still think ignoring is silly, though, especially when you go on to respond to what the person said who you're supposedly ignoring.
> 
> The mind? Is boggled.



It was the first MJ thread that got locked. And thanks for the complement, you're a sweetie too!


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Ignore is not silly Vickie, a lot of people use it here. Saying it's silly is insulting to everyone who uses it. I'm sure you didn't mean to do that.




Miss Vickie said:


> Oh, now I get it. I just didn't see Matthias's quote in what Wayne quoted, so I was confused. I think Matt's a sweetie pie. I don't know why *anyone* would put him on ignore. I guess I musta missed some brouhaha or another.
> 
> I still think ignoring is silly, though, especially when you go on to respond to what the person said who you're supposedly ignoring.
> 
> The mind? Is boggled.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Mathias said:


> It was the first MJ thread that got locked. And thanks for the complement, you're a sweetie too!



You did as much name calling as anyone in that thread, so you know, pot - kettle.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Name calling??? Stooping kinda low aren't you Lilly?? I mean even for you this is low. And let me tell you something about my man - he's 200% better than most here on a bad day! Jealous much?



This comes as no surprise. You're always smugly crowing on here about your perfect husband and flawless life. Me jealous? Hardly.


----------



## Mathias

Rooooooiiiiiiiight.

Link please?


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Bite me. 



Mathias said:


> Rooooooiiiiiiiight.
> 
> Link please?


----------



## Wagimawr

Now I'm sorely tempted to go through the MJ threads and count the number of insults slung.

OH GOD MY LIFE


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Ignore is not silly Vickie, a lot of people use it here. Saying it's silly is insulting to everyone who uses it. I'm sure you didn't mean to do that.




It's similiar to sticking your fingers in your ears and singing "la la la la la la la, I can't hear you."

So its silly, and it doesn't work. Part of being an adult, and living in the real world is communicating with people you may not like. I can't have an argument with someone at work and shout out "I'm putting you on ignore so I don't have to hear what you say anymore. Take that!" I just avoid them as much as possible and when I find myself having to interact with them, I keep it as civil as possible.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

LillyBBBW said:


> This comes as no surprise. You're always smugly crowing on here about your perfect husband and flawless life. Me jealous? Hardly.



Listen Lilly. You are really pissin me off. Talking shit about me is one thing. Talkin shit about my marriage is quite another. You're out of line. Keep it up. I'm primed today.


----------



## Mathias

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Bite me.



I'm trying to preserve my smile so fuck no. And the fact that you can't give me an instance where I EVER called names shows you like to tell the occasional lie as well.


----------



## Mathias

In Sandie's own words: "You know- pot, kettle."


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

not necessarily. Ignore is there for some piece of mind. Wayne is hardly the only one who uses ignore here. That's why it's here - to be used. But, I understand those who don't want to use it. I just think saying it's silly is not very nice.  Sometimes putting your fingers in your ears is the only way to get through life. LOL





fatgirlflyin said:


> It's similiar to sticking your fingers in your ears and singing "la la la la la la la, I can't hear you."
> 
> So its silly, and it doesn't work. Part of being an adult, and living in the real world is communicating with people you may not like. I can't have an argument with someone at work and shout out "I'm putting you on ignore so I don't have to hear what you say anymore. Take that!" I just avoid them as much as possible and when I find myself having to interact with them, I keep it as civil as possible.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Mathias said:


> In Sandie's own words: "You know- pot, kettle."



Nobody's talkin to you.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

Can some one please sticky this thread at the top of the Library section of the board? I can say with 100% honesty it's hotter than any story I've read on there.


----------



## Mathias

Sweetie you probably have a bunch of people on ignore so I won't fault you for not being able to see it.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Listen Lilly. You are really pissin me off. Talking shit about me is one thing. Talkin shit about my marriage is quite another. You're out of line. Keep it up. I'm primed today.



Oh my. A beating from Sandie. Let me lift my frilly skirts and twitter daintily away to the corner to hide. Bite me.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Can some one please sticky this thread at the top of the Library section of the board? I can say with 100% honesty it's hotter than any story I've read on there.



I knew you were a freak! In a good way.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

LillyBBBW said:


> Oh my. A beating from Sandie. Let me lift my frilly skirts and twitter daintily away to the corner to hide. Bite me.



Shit girl you're gonna have to do better than that - I have my scooter - you can't run - you can't hide. I don't want to bite you Lilly - but if you ask me nicely I might kiss your ass.


----------



## Mathias

I got your back Lilly! I'll slash her tires!


----------



## Miss Vickie

Mathias said:


> It was the first MJ thread that got locked. And thanks for the complement, you're a sweetie too!



Oh yes, that thread was a clusterfuck if there ever was one. I can see why it was closed. But you were definitely one of the more even tempered people there. I guess I just don't understand why they didn't leave you guys the hell alone so you could deal with your feelings in semi-private. Why feel the need to jump in and shit on the guy. 

(And I say this as someone who was not a Michael Jackson fan, and who thinks that yes, he probably did molest -- if not at least do something inappropriate -- with those kids, but my feelings about what he did are far too complex to go into now and were wholly inappropriate to foist onto people who were grieving).



Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Ignore is not silly Vickie, a lot of people use it here. Saying it's silly is insulting to everyone who uses it. I'm sure you didn't mean to do that.



Actually, bandying about "Oh! I have this person on ignore!" while going to the trouble of *quoting* them is not just silly... it's asinine. If you're ignoring them then why the hell respond to what they're saying? Just... you know... ignore them. But yes, I do think ignoring is silly. That doesn't mean the people who do it are silly. See the difference? No? Didn't think so.

Again, the mind? She is boggled.

And don't tell me what I mean to do or not. That's a bullying tactic, I'll have you know. And you wouldn't want to be called a bully, now, would you? 'Cause bullying is... so very.... wrong. 

Side note: Wondering when this thread will be locked. Just like every other thread that's graced with Sandie and Wayne's presence. Any bets?


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

I predict the death of this thread very soon.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Shit girl you're gonna have to do better than that - I have my scooter - you can't run - you can't hide. I don't want to bite you Lilly - but if you ask me nicely I might kiss your ass.



The Purple Gypsy is gonna chase me on her scooter. She won't bite though.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Vickie, no insult was intended. Jeez you switch your tune about me like you change your underwear. You want to be pissy - go for it.





Miss Vickie said:


> Oh yes, that thread was a clusterfuck if there ever was one. I can see why it was closed. But you were definitely one of the more even tempered people there. I guess I just don't understand why they didn't leave you guys the hell alone so you could deal with your feelings in semi-private. Why feel the need to jump in and shit on the guy.
> 
> (And I say this as someone who was not a Michael Jackson fan, and who thinks that yes, he probably did molest -- if not at least do something inappropriate -- with those kids, but my feelings about what he did are far too complex to go into now and were wholly inappropriate to foist onto people who were grieving).
> 
> 
> 
> Actually, bandying about "Oh! I have this person on ignore!" while going to the trouble of *quoting* them is not just silly... it's asinine. If you're ignoring them then why the hell respond to what they're saying? Just... you know... ignore them. But yes, I do think ignoring is silly. That doesn't mean the people who do it are silly. See the difference? No? Didn't think so.
> 
> Again, the mind? She is boggled.
> 
> And don't tell me what I mean to do or not. That's a bullying tactic, I'll have you know. And you wouldn't want to be called a bully, now, would you? 'Cause bullying is... so very.... wrong.
> 
> Side note: Wondering when this thread will be locked. Just like every other thread that's graced with Sandie and Wayne's presence. Any bets?


----------



## Mathias

NO! If I had my way this thread would be a sticky!


----------



## tonynyc

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Can some one please sticky this thread at the top of the Library section of the board? I can say with 100% honesty it's hotter than any story I've read on there.



Pull up a chair- grab a drink - get some snacks ... 

*I guess nothing is hotter than seeing gorgeous BBW debating... This is far better than Hyde Park could ever be .... *

I think this thread will have the biggest participation of both Female and Male Dimmers this could spell the end of the Paysite Board 

I can see certain ladies smiling at that


----------



## Miss Vickie

fatgirlflyin said:


> It's similiar to sticking your fingers in your ears and singing "la la la la la la la, I can't hear you."
> 
> So its silly, and it doesn't work. Part of being an adult, and living in the real world is communicating with people you may not like. I can't have an argument with someone at work and shout out "I'm putting you on ignore so I don't have to hear what you say anymore. Take that!" I just avoid them as much as possible and when I find myself having to interact with them, I keep it as civil as possible.



Yeah but you're talking about the _real _world. I do the same thing, or I talk to my boss if they're being unprofessional and inappropriate. Much nicer to have her fight the battles that I can't, and keeps the arguments out of the nurses' station where patients can hear. 

BTW, when did you change your user name? How slow am I that I just picked that up. What a maroon....


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

LillyBBBW said:


> The Purple Gypsy is gonna chase me on her scooter. She won't bite though.



I'm not gonna have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.


----------



## Wayne_Zitkus

fatgirlflyin said:


> It's similiar to sticking your fingers in your ears and singing "la la la la la la la, I can't hear you."
> 
> So its silly, and it doesn't work. Part of being an adult, and living in the real world is communicating with people you may not like. I can't have an argument with someone at work and shout out "I'm putting you on ignore so I don't have to hear what you say anymore. Take that!" I just avoid them as much as possible and when I find myself having to interact with them, I keep it as civil as possible.


I tried to keep it civil in Mathis' case. But when he kept constantly attacking me on several different threads for not agreeing with him about Michael Jackson, I put him on "ignore" because we had nothing more to discuss. And we still don't.

As I see it, he was the "forum bully" in that case. And another part of being an adult is avoiding situations that are sure to result in conflict. Hence his addition to my "ignore" list.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Mathias said:


> NO! If I had my way this thread would be a sticky!



I don't It has brought out the bad side of a lot of people I like and admire. It's all a bunch of finger pointing. I was told when I was younger that when you point your finger at someone you still have 3 pointing at yourself.


----------



## Mathias

I say people should look for that thread on their own and gauge their own opinions.


----------



## Miss Vickie

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Vickie, no insult was intended. Jeez you switch your tune about me like you change your underwear. You want to be pissy - go for it.



If no insult was intended, then what _was_ intended, Sandie? I'm confused, because your post didn't seem too friendly.

And no, my feelings are pretty consistent, actually. Not pissy, just answering your comment, and yeah, I do think that saying you're ignoring someone while responding them is a little.... illogical, to say the least.

Or is that not allowed either?


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Miss Vickie said:


> Yeah but you're talking about the _real _world. I do the same thing, or I talk to my boss if they're being unprofessional and inappropriate. Much nicer to have her fight the battles that I can't, and keeps the arguments out of the nurses' station where patients can hear.
> 
> BTW, when did you change your user name? How slow am I that I just picked that up. What a maroon....




Its only been a week or so, and you aren't slow at all. Lots of people still haven't realized and as long as one specific person doesn't then I'll be a happy camper!


----------



## Ernest Nagel

I predict the shards of this thread will be unearthed thousands of years from now by virtual archEologists and they will report that we were dysfunctional consumeroids who ate our young and had sub-optimal social hygiene.


----------



## Miss Vickie

Mathias said:


> NO! If I had my way this thread would be a sticky!



"A" sticky? Or just plain sticky?


----------



## Mathias

BigBellySSBBW said:


> I don't It has brought out the bad side of a lot of people I like and admire. It's all a bunch of finger pointing. I was told when I was younger that when you point your finger at someone you still have 3 pointing at yourself.



I was going to rep you but alot of people here obviously have pent up issues that need to be let out even if it gets messy.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

fatgirlflyin said:


> Its only been a week or so, and you aren't slow at all. Lots of people still haven't realized and as long as one specific person doesn't then I'll be a happy camper!



Some of us are aware of who you are E.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I'm not gonna have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.



 Well. I've been insulted by better people than YOU! I don't have to listen to this. I'm putting you on IGNORE. So there.


----------



## Miss Vickie

fatgirlflyin said:


> Its only been a week or so, and you aren't slow at all. Lots of people still haven't realized and as long as one specific person doesn't then I'll be a happy camper!



Oh good. I'm glad it hasn't been, like, months or something. Then I'd feel really dumb. But it's been crazygonuts at work so my internet time has been minimal. 

I like the new user name, but I'll still think of you as... that other lovely person who I almost got to meet.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Some of us are aware of who you are E.




I'm sure some are, lots aren't, and like I said as long as one isn't then I'll be a happy camper.


----------



## Mathias

Miss Vickie said:


> "A" sticky? Or just plain sticky?



Both, honestly.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Vickie why would I insult you? I like you. I was just asking if you were sure you wanted to use the word silly, which could be construed as hurtful to people (like Susannah) who take things to heart. I know you don't want to hurt feelings. That's all. Seriously.






Miss Vickie said:


> If no insult was intended, then what _was_ intended, Sandie? I'm confused, because your post didn't seem too friendly.
> 
> And no, my feelings are pretty consistent, actually. Not pissy, just answering your comment, and yeah, I do think that saying you're ignoring someone while responding them is a little.... illogical, to say the least.
> 
> Or is that not allowed either?


----------



## Wagimawr

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> You did as much name calling as anyone in that thread, so you know, pot - kettle.


Hmm.

What Mathias called Wayne:
1)


Mathias said:


> it's bumped up by his hissy fits?


 "a thrower of hissy fits"
2)


Mathias said:


> This should give you a clear understanding to his motives.
> 
> http://www.flayme.com/troll/


 "a troll"



What Wayne called Mathias:


Wayne_Zitkus said:


> leave us rational people the fuck alone.


 "irrational"

Hmm.

also: oh sonofabitch do I have to go chasing down Mathias' posts elsewhere too?


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

LillyBBBW said:


> Well. I've been insulted by better people than YOU! I don't have to listen to this. I'm putting you on IGNORE. So there.



ROFLMAO!!!


----------



## Tooz

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Jealous much?



Darling, I don't think anyone's jealous.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Tooz said:


> Darling, I don't think anyone's jealous.



WELL, YOU SHOULD BE.


----------



## Tooz

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> WELL, YOU SHOULD BE.



...Of what?


----------



## Miss Vickie

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Vickie why would I insult you? I like you. I was just asking if you were sure you wanted to use the word silly, which could be construed as hurtful to people (like Susannah) who take things to heart. I know you don't want to hurt feelings. That's all. Seriously.



Okee dokee. Thanks for clarifying. But seriously, I don't think that the people who use ignore are silly, just that it's a silly thing to employ and then make a big deal about. If you want to ignore someone, seems like an easy thing to do most of the time without all the fanfare, but that's just me. 

I think I've ignored one or two people for short periods just because I *knew* I'd be tempted to be a smart ass and get myself infracted, so it was kind of a little self imposed internet baby gate. But then when things have settled down I go back and remove them. I think that everyone has something worthwhile to say, so I guess I don't want to take a chance and miss that nugget of goodness. 

As for Susannah, what can I say that won't be taken the wrong way?


----------



## Mathias

Wagimawr said:


> Hmm.
> 
> What Mathias called Wayne:
> 1) "a thrower of hissy fits"
> 2) "a troll"
> 
> 
> 
> What Wayne called Mathias:
> "irrational"
> 
> Hmm.
> 
> also: oh sonofabitch do I have to go chasing down Mathias' posts elsewhere too?




So, I get caught up in the thick of it and drop some names. Whatever. I can now say that yes, I did call names but they both had to drop in with their holier than thou attitudes. Not that that makes it right. Both sides were wrong.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Mathias said:


> So, I get caught up in the thick of it and drop some names. Whatever. I can now say that yes, I did call names but they both had to drop in with their holier than thou attitudes. Not that that makes it right. Both sides were wrong.



Eat crow much?? BURN!! ROFLMAO


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Really Vickie I do understand not wanting to use ignore - I don't either. As for Sussanah? Well, yeah she's a bit sensitive but I think being sick will do that to you. 




Miss Vickie said:


> Okee dokee. Thanks for clarifying. But seriously, I don't think that the people who use ignore are silly, just that it's a silly thing to employ and then make a big deal about. If you want to ignore someone, seems like an easy thing to do most of the time without all the fanfare, but that's just me.
> 
> I think I've ignored one or two people for short periods just because I *knew* I'd be tempted to be a smart ass and get myself infracted, so it was kind of a little self imposed internet baby gate. But then when things have settled down I go back and remove them. I think that everyone has something worthwhile to say, so I guess I don't want to take a chance and miss that nugget of goodness.
> 
> As for Susannah, what can I say that won't be taken the wrong way?


----------



## Wagimawr

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEWgs6YQR9A


----------



## Tooz

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Eat crow much?? BURN!! ROFLMAO



Except...not really?


----------



## Mathias

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Eat crow much?? BURN!! ROFLMAO



I repeat: BOTH SIDES WERE WRONG! You're both oblivious to your own attitudes here.

Unlike Wayne I was man enough to admit I messed up. What's his problem?


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Tooz said:


> ...Of what?



Oh, you should be so lucky as to have a partner who treats you like a queen. I hope you do.  Every woman deserves that.


----------



## tonynyc

I have to say that these exchanges are truly priceless.

Now someone had mentioned the "working environment" heck that sometimes can be more of a clusterfuck than this thread could ever be. Also, for better worse, at least you get sharpen those verbal skills for some of those assholes in the outside world...


----------



## Tooz

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Oh, you should be so lucky as to have a partner who treats you like a queen. I hope you do.  Every woman deserves that.



Being treated like a queen is not for me. You see, I actually watch my own ass.


----------



## Emma

Right we're all adults here, we should start acting that way. 

What is the point in hate and arguing? Just chill dudes! lol


----------



## Mathias

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Really Vickie I do understand not wanting to use ignore - I don't either. As for Sussanah? Well, yeah she's a bit sensitive but I think being sick will do that to you.



We all see what losing a dog does to you.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Mathias said:


> I repeat: BOTH SIDES WERE WRONG! You're both oblivious to your own attitudes here.
> 
> Unlike Wayne I was man enough to admit I messed up. What's his problem?



For what? Calling you irrational? And you made excuses for your name calling. Not very manly.


----------



## Wayne_Zitkus

> *You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Wagimawr again*


*
*
Could someone please rep Wagimawr for me? Thanks.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Mathias said:


> We all see what losing a dog does to you.



What in the world are you talking about??


----------



## Wagimawr

Mathias said:


> We all see what losing a dog does to you.


BURN!! ROFLMAO


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

Tooz said:


> You see, I actually watch my own ass.



you and me both. :smitten:


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Mathias said:


> We all see what losing a dog does to you.



That was pretty wrong in a number of ways dude. Her dogs are like her kids...


----------



## BBWTexan

Tooz said:


> Being treated like a queen is not for me. You see, I actually watch my own ass.



Amen, sister.


----------



## Mathias

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> For what? Calling you irrational? And you made excuses for your name calling. Not very manly.



No. For derailing the 1st thread to begin with.


----------



## Tooz

Wagimawr said:


> BURN!! ROFLMAO



See, now THERE is a burn.


----------



## Mathias

fatgirlflyin said:


> That was pretty wrong in a number of ways dude. Her dogs are like her kids...



Susannah is sick, she was way out of line.


----------



## Wagimawr

Tooz said:


> See, now THERE is a burn.


your FACE is a burn!

oh wait.

you were agreeing with me.

_Fuck._


----------



## Emma

You people just want to fight don't you? lol relax


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Tooz said:


> Being treated like a queen is not for me. You see, I actually watch my own ass.



I have no idea what you mean. And I really don't care.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Mathias said:


> Susannah is sick, she was way out of line.



Dude you need to re-read what I posted Sussanah is my friend.


----------



## Miss Vickie

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Really Vickie I do understand not wanting to use ignore - I don't either. As for Sussanah? Well, yeah she's a bit sensitive but I think being sick will do that to you.



I dunno that I agree, Sandie. I mean, I'm sick -- I have cancer, for God's sake. And an autoimmune disease that could kill me if the cancer doesn't. I was orphaned at twelve, molested by an uncle, sadistically tortured by my (thank God now dead brother) for most of my sadly shortened childhood. But I'm not sure I can blame any of my more colorful character flaws on that; I am who I am and I make the choices I make as an adult every damn day. 

But I don't want to talk about Susannah behind her back. She might take it amiss and I don't want to cause harm.

As for that Michael Jackson thread, I stayed out of it because I have some strong feelings about him and his relationship with kids. It just didn't seem the right thing to do, to rain on others' (funeral) parade. I think he made some nice music and had crazy good talent, but he was damaged so badly by his father and his upbringing that he seemingly couldn't move past it and respond to other adults in a mature way (at least not romantically or sexually, it seems). Instead, he buried his pain in drugs, like many people do. As for whether he did or didn't molest the kids, we'll never know. They could have lied. He could have lied. "People lie" as Dr. House says. 

But I do hope that whoever the jackass was who gave him freaking propofol goes to jail for a VERY long time.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Mathias said:


> Susannah is sick, she was way out of line.




Please don't tell me that we are now excusing Susannah's behavior because she has MS?

I agree with the points you were making, I just know I'd be devastated if someone brought my children into the middle of an argument. For Sandie, her kids are her dogs.


----------



## Wagimawr

True or false:

Saying that you don't care about something means that you actually do care and are just trying to appear nonchalant.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Wagimawr said:


> True or false:
> 
> Saying that you don't care about something means that you actually do care and are just trying to appear nonchalant.




TRUE, cuz if you didn't care, you wouldnt bother to say you didn't care.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Oh I know, I know. And as for Michael Jackson, I do believe I posted on one of those threads that I understood everyone's grief.





Miss Vickie said:


> I dunno that I agree, Sandie. I mean, I'm sick -- I have cancer, for God's sake. And an autoimmune disease that could kill me if the cancer doesn't. I was orphaned at twelve, molested by an uncle, sadistically tortured by my (thank God now dead brother) for most of my sadly shortened childhood. But I'm not sure I can blame any of my more colorful character flaws on that; I am who I am and I make the choices I make as an adult every damn day.
> 
> But I don't want to talk about Susannah behind her back. She might take it amiss and I don't want to cause harm.
> 
> As for that Michael Jackson thread, I stayed out of it because I have some strong feelings about him and his relationship with kids. It just didn't seem the right thing to do, to rain on others' (funeral) parade. I think he made some nice music and had crazy good talent, but he was damaged so badly by his father and his upbringing that he seemingly couldn't move past it and respond to other adults in a mature way (at least not romantically or sexually, it seems). Instead, he buried his pain in drugs, like many people do. As for whether he did or didn't molest the kids, we'll never know. They could have lied. He could have lied. "People lie" as Dr. House says.
> 
> But I do hope that whoever the jackass was who gave him freaking propofol goes to jail for a VERY long time.


----------



## Mathias

fatgirlflyin said:


> Please don't tell me that we are now excusing Susannah's behavior because she has MS?
> 
> I agree with the points you were making, I just know I'd be devastated if someone brought my children into the middle of an argument. For Sandie, her kids are her dogs.



Just like you think her dogs are off limits, someone going through a life altering debilitating illness and being called sensitive if off limits. Period.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Thank you. 





fatgirlflyin said:


> Please don't tell me that we are now excusing Susannah's behavior because she has MS?
> 
> I agree with the points you were making, I just know I'd be devastated if someone brought my children into the middle of an argument. For Sandie, her kids are her dogs.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Mathias said:


> Just like you think her dogs are off limits, someone going through a life altering debilitating illness and being called sensitive if off limits. Period.



Mathias - you just want to argue for the sake of arguing now. People can be over-sensitive and sensitive when they have an illness. That was not an insult.


----------



## Tooz

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I have no idea what you mean. And I really don't care.



I'm not surprised that you don't.  As much as I like sitting here while you mash the refresh button, I gotta run.

We now return to the regularly scheduled program: Sandie's Fairytale Marriage!


----------



## Miss Vickie

fatgirlflyin said:


> Please don't tell me that we are now excusing Susannah's behavior because she has MS?
> 
> I agree with the points you were making, I just know I'd be devastated if someone brought my children into the middle of an argument. For Sandie, her kids are her dogs.



Yes, I agree. Matt, the dog thing was over the top.

The ROFLMAO thing? Loved it. Thanks for the giggle, guys.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

fatgirlflyin said:


> TRUE, cuz if you didn't care, you wouldnt bother to say you didn't care.



And sometimes you honestly don't care what people think. 

I think what Tooz said was a crack at me not working outside the home. I could be wrong. But - that's nobody's business.


----------



## Wagimawr

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> And sometimes you honestly don't care what people think.


What is the point of SAYING you don't care, when you could SHOW that you don't care by not saying anything?


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Tooz said:


> I'm not surprised that you don't.  As much as I like sitting here while you mash the refresh button, I gotta run.
> 
> We now return to the regularly scheduled program: Sandie's Fairytale Marriage!



aaWW Thanks - it is a Fairytale. :wubu::wubu:


----------



## tonynyc

Wagimawr said:


> True or false:
> 
> Saying that you don't care about something means that you actually do care and are just trying to appear nonchalant.



True it's an accurate statement that some may express about their feelings to a given issue


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Wagimawr said:


> What is the point of SAYING you don't care, when you could SHOW that you don't care by not saying anything?



Because I don't care.


----------



## Wagimawr

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Because I don't care.


Yes but what is the point of SAYING you don't care, when you could SHOW that you don't care by not saying anything?


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

Tooz said:


> I'm not surprised that you don't.  As much as I like sitting here while you mash the refresh button, I gotta run.
> 
> We now return to the regularly scheduled program: Sandie's Fairytale Marriage!



Q. what do Sandie's marriage and LOTR have in common? 

A. They both involve hobbits.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Wagimawr said:


> Yes but what is the point of SAYING you don't care, when you could SHOW that you don't care by not saying anything?



You saying the same thing over and over doesn't make it any more true for me.


----------



## TraciJo67

Mathias said:


> We all see what losing a dog does to you.



Low blow, Mathias.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Q. what do Sandie's marriage and LOTR have in common?
> 
> A. They both involve hobbits.



Oh sweetie, have a date before you judge my 17 year marriage. K?


----------



## Mathias

Miss Vickie said:


> Yes, I agree. Matt, the dog thing was over the top.
> 
> The ROFLMAO thing? Loved it. Thanks for the giggle, guys.




And as someone who, from the age of nine months had and is having to deal with being disabled and being in a wheelchair I'll say, and continue to say that Sandie should be ashamed of herself for ever bringing what Susannah goes through into this.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Oh sweetie, have a date before you judge my 17 year marriage. K?



Are we done now? Did you all get it out?? Good. I have things to do. Have a wonderful weekend.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Oh sweetie, have a date before you judge my 17 year marriage. K?



and than after this first date ever should I marry the girl ensuring that I will have zero perspective on what it means to date a woman who isn't a delusional passive aggressive nutcase?

I just need advice on this cause I done never dated no one. 

Are those perfumes you sell toxic? If so, please stop consuming them.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Are we done now? Did you all get it out?? Good. I have things to do. Have a wonderful weekend.




ummmm Sandie, this post has you looking just a bit schizophrenic.(sp) Just sayin...


----------



## Miss Vickie

Wagimawr said:


> True or false:
> 
> Saying that you don't care about something means that you actually do care and are just trying to appear nonchalant.





fatgirlflyin said:


> TRUE, cuz if you didn't care, you wouldnt bother to say you didn't care.





Sandie_Zitkus said:


> And sometimes you honestly don't care what people think.
> 
> I think what Tooz said was a crack at me not working outside the home. I could be wrong. But - that's nobody's business.





Wagimawr said:


> What is the point of SAYING you don't care, when you could SHOW that you don't care by not saying anything?





tonynyc said:


> True it's an accurate statement that some may express about their feelings to a given issue





Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Because I don't care.





Wagimawr said:


> Yes but what is the point of SAYING you don't care, when you could SHOW that you don't care by not saying anything?





Sandie_Zitkus said:


> You saying the same thing over and over doesn't make it any more true for me.



Ow. My head hurts.


----------



## Wagimawr

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Q. what do Sandie's marriage and LOTR have in common?
> 
> A. They both involve hobbits.











Sandie_Zitkus said:


> You saying the same thing over and over doesn't make it any more true for me.


But you didn't answer the question.

If you don't feel I'm deserving of an answer, then just go ahead and put me on ignore, cause I can't handle this "Why? Because! Why? Because!" runaround.


----------



## Miss Vickie

Mathias said:


> And as someone who, from the age of nine months had and is having to deal with being disabled and being in a wheelchair I'll say, and continue to say that Sandie should be ashamed of herself for ever bringing what Susannah goes through into this.



Well, I think Sandie can defend herself quite vociferously, but I think that she was actually saying that I should lay off Susannah because she has an illness. I think she was saying that Shosh, yes, is sensitive but that it's because being ill can make one so. 

Did I read it wrong?


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Miss Vickie said:


> Well, I think Sandie can defend herself quite vociferously, but I think that she was actually saying that I should lay off Susannah because she has an illness. I think she was saying that Shosh, yes, is sensitive but that it's because being ill can make one so.
> 
> Did I read it wrong?



No - you got that right.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Wagimawr said:


> But you didn't answer the question.
> 
> If you don't feel I'm deserving of an answer, then just go ahead and put me on ignore, cause I can't handle this "Why? Because! Why? Because!" runaround.




OK so WTF is it you want me to say Wag??


----------



## Miss Vickie

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> No - you got that right.



Okay, good.

My head still hurts, though. I think I'll go do some light reading -- perhaps Proust? This thread has just become way too complicated for me!


----------



## Wagimawr

What is the point of SAYING you don't care, when you could SHOW that you don't care by not saying anything?

You could say "because not saying anything: implies weakness/makes me look dumb/makes you look dumb for continuing to respond to someone who doesn't talk/etc..." SOME answer that does not equate to "The point of saying that I don't care is that I don't care, which is better than showing that I don't care by not saying anything because I don't care."


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

OK - now I really don't care. Some people need to express more than others.

And BTW - I know some of you jumped on me because of my argument with Lilly. You need to PM Lilly about what really happened. Lilly and I are friends. So, sometimes things are not as they seem.

PM Lilly. 





Wagimawr said:


> What is the point of SAYING you don't care, when you could SHOW that you don't care by not saying anything?
> 
> You could say "because not saying anything: implies weakness/makes me look dumb/makes you look dumb for continuing to respond to someone who doesn't talk/etc..." SOME answer that does not equate to "The point of saying that I don't care is that I don't care, which is better than showing that I don't care by not saying anything because I don't care."


----------



## mossystate

fatgirlflyin said:


> Please don't tell me that we are now excusing Susannah's behavior because she has MS?
> 
> I agree with the points you were making, I just know I'd be devastated if someone brought my children into the middle of an argument. For Sandie, her kids are her dogs.



Yes, to both paragraphs. This shit is nuts. 


I do not like either of these women, as they are forever manipulating conversations and people...HOWEVER...I would never...ever...if their hardships were not already part of their lives, mock them for the difficulties, or laugh over such things.


I wish Susannah did not have MS. I have often, when I have seen quoted things from her, talking about her illness, taken a moment to hope she can hang onto what health she has. I will NOT...ever...just eat, or encourage anyone else to eat the nasty things someone decides to cover with excuses, no matterwhat those excuses are... who has probably done the same crap their whole lives, outside of tragedy.

Sandie...the same thing. It was a horrible thing that she lost her dog. She has talked about difficulties in her life, and, again, I don't wish those on her. Same thing, though, about using those things as battering rams.


Mathias, you don't like Sandie, so you think mocking her dogs death is funny shit...IT'S NOT. YOu have taken a personal attitude, and shown what your bottomline heart looks like. You go after the valid stuff......you leave the personal hardships out of it. Got it?


We all have days where we are not feeling well...we have weeks of it...years. We will be understood when we sometimes get a little snarly. However, there has to be a limit on how often we get to use those things, and not own up to stuff, and, also, to not just say..." yeah, I think you are wrong, and don't YOU use MY illness/hardship/rough patch against ME ". Neither Susanah or Sandie are lambs in the dark woods. They are both very spirited...opinionated people. I for one will NOT treat them like they are fragile, when they are throwing it down l;ike the rest of humankind. Nope. THAT is disrespectful to all the rest of the people in the world who, because of being really old...or really young...or ill...whatever....are not seen as complete human beings, capable of much more ( good AND bad ) than the world wants to see. My Dad was 87 when he died, and as sharp as ever. If I had treated him like an ' old man ', I would have been doing him a disservice. Now, differencec is there, he never used his age. You either want the world to look at you as complete people...or you stop using things to your advantage, when it suits you. Oh, I also have a sister with one leg, and, let me tell you, she got so much shit from people...yet...she has never...ever...used that to get what she wants. She would not want people to coddle her when she acts like an asshole. She does not ewant to be in a ' disabled persons ghetto '.


Anyhoo....THis is your Cult Leader speaking....in case of an emergency landing you can find the exit rows located in the foodee forum...the clothing and fashion forum...and for those who prefer a little time with your genitalia....the paysite forum.


----------



## Miss Vickie

mossystate said:


> Yes, to both paragraphs. This shit is nuts.
> 
> 
> I do not like either of these women, as they are forever manipulating conversations and people...HOWEVER...I would never...ever...if their hardships were not already part of their lives, mock them for the difficulties, or laugh over such things.
> 
> 
> I wish Susannah did not have MS. I have often, when I have seen quoted things from her, talking about her illness, taken a moment to hope she can hang onto what health she has. I will NOT...ever...just eat, or encourage anyone else to eat the nasty things someone decides to cover with excuses, no matterwhat those excuses are... who has probably done the same crap their whole lives, outside of tragedy.
> 
> Sandie...the same thing. It was a horrible thing that she lost her dog. She has talked about difficulties in her life, and, again, I don't wish those on her. Same thing, though, about using those things as battering rams.
> 
> 
> Mathias, you don't like Sandie, so you think mocking her dogs death is funny shit...IT'S NOT. YOu have taken a personal attitude, and shown what your bottomline heart looks like. You go after the valid stuff......you leave the personal hardships out of it. Got it?
> 
> 
> We all have days where we are not feeling well...we have weeks of it...years. We will be understood when we sometimes get a little snarly. However, there has to be a limit on how often we get to use those things, and not own up to stuff, and, also, to not just say..." yeah, I think you are wrong, and don't YOU use MY illness/hardship/rough patch against ME ". Neither Susanah or Sandie are lambs in the dark woods. They are both very spirited...opinionated people. I for one will NOT treat them like they are fragile, when they are throwing it down l;ike the rest of humankind. Nope. THAT is disrespectful to all the rest of the people in the world who, because of being really old...or really young...or ill...whatever....are not seen as complete human beings, capable of much more ( good AND bad ) than the world wants to see. My Dad was 87 when he died, and as sharp as ever. If I had treated him like an ' old man ', I would have been doing him a disservice. Now, differencec is there, he never used his age.
> 
> 
> Anyhoo....THis is your Cult Leader speaking....in case of an emergency landing you can find the exit rows located in the foodee forum...the clothing and fashion forum...and for those who prefer a little time with your genitalia....the paysite forum.



Quoted for truthiness.  And awesomeness.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

mossystate said:


> Anyhoo....THis is your Cult Leader speaking....in case of an emergency landing you can find the exit rows located in the foodee forum...the clothing and fashion forum...and for those who prefer a little time with your genitalia....the paysite forum.




Are the exit rows illuminated with glow in the dark strips on the floor? Also, what flavor is the kool-aid this week?


----------



## TraciJo67

fatgirlflyin said:


> Are the exit rows illuminated with glow in the dark strips on the floor? Also, what flavor is the kool-aid this week?



Corn nuts.


----------



## Wagimawr

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> OK - now I really don't care. Some people need to express more than others.








THAT DOESN'T ANSWER ANYTHING AT ALL


----------



## mossystate

fatgirlflyin said:


> Are the exit rows illuminated with glow in the dark strips on the floor? Also, what flavor is the kool-aid this week?





TraciJo67 said:


> Corn nuts.




I have stapled bits of traci down on the floor....girl is whiiiiiiite.


----------



## DeniseW

Dude, I have tried to stay out of this messed up thread but what you said(regarding her dog) was one of the cruelest things I've ever read on this forum and if I were you, I'd swallow my pride and give her the biggest apology you can muster, you have crossed a big line. 






Mathias said:


> And as someone who, from the age of nine months had and is having to deal with being disabled and being in a wheelchair I'll say, and continue to say that Sandie should be ashamed of herself for ever bringing what Susannah goes through into this.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

DeniseW said:


> Dude, I have tried to stay out of this messed up thread but what you said(regarding her dog) was one of the cruelest things I've ever read on this forum and if I were you, I'd swallow my pride and give her the biggest apology you can muster, you have crossed a big line.



This. So much this. AND I have seen people get banned for much less personal or hurtful things. It is truly hateful to say 'Im glad a much loved member of your family died'....that's just cruel beyond words.


----------



## tonynyc

Wagimawr said:


> THAT DOESN'T ANSWER ANYTHING AT ALL



*
Nope I think a musical intermission is in Order- "No Pictures , Just Music" - with enough Musical variations of "I Don't Care" to please all taste...Perhaps music can calm some ... if only for a temporary moment... *


*I Don't Care - Apocalyptica Feat. Adam Gontier (with lyrics)*

I Don't Care -Apocalptica 

I try to make it through my life, in my way, there's you
I try to make it through these lies, that's all I do 

Just dont deny it.
Dont try to fight this
and deal with it
and that's just part of it

If you were dead or still alive
I don't care, I don't care
just go and leave this all behind behind
'Cause I swear (I swear)
I don't care 


I try to make you see my side
I always try to stay in line
But your eyes see right through
That's all they do 

I'm getting buried in this place.
Ive got no room your in my face.
Don't say anything just go away.

If you were dead or still alive
I don't care, I don't care
just go and leave this all behind behind
'Cause I swear (I swear)
I don't care

Not changing everything
'Cause You won't be there for me
Not changing everything
'Cause You won't be there for me

(Piano Solo)

If you were dead or still alive
I don't care, I don't care
just go and leave this all behind behind
'Cause I swear (I swear)
I don't care 
If you were dead or still alive
I don't care (I don't care), I don't care (I don't care)
just go and leave this all behind behind
I don't care (I swear) I don't care 
At all. 

---------------------
*Fall Out Boys (2008)*
I Don't Care-FOB 

--------------------------------------------

*Shakespears Sister(1992)*

I Don't Care -Shakespears Sister

------------------------------------------
*I Don't Care- 2ne1 (2009) *

 I Don't Care 2ne1

----------------------------------------------

*Ricky Martin feat. Fat Joe & Amerie - I Don't Care (English Version)-2007*

 Don't Care -Ricky Martin

--------------------------------------------
*And for you Classic Old School Jazz Folks*

*Eddy Peadbody The Banjo Boy and College Chums (1928)*

I Don't Care


----------



## Paquito

James said:


> Just for info (in case it wasn't known)... William is banned permanently.



Why are we still fighting when we should be rejoicing? I would offer to throw a little party, but we all know where that goes...



BothGunsBlazing said:


> I think you two really need to show some respect.
> 
> Sandie and I have been members of NAAFA since it's inception in 1850 and I can tell you right now, she was never and has never been what I'd call a bully.



Thank you for making my life. 

Anyhoo....THis is your Cult Leader speaking....in case of an emergency landing you can find the exit rows located in the foodee forum...the clothing and fashion forum...and for those who prefer a little time with your genitalia....the paysite forum.[/QUOTE]

Yes master, right away master. What should we bring for provisions? Damn, I gotta get my ceremonial robes from the dry cleaners...


----------



## katorade

Wait...Wayne and Sandie are _married?_ I had no idea!























Also...






Seriously, this has to be my favorite new thread since the death of Hyde Park. It's like watching Lifetime and the WE network duke it out in a lesbian jell-o pit fight. Does life get better?


----------



## thatgirl08

Huibgsdgnlgfnsdklgfnsfnsfnklmf


----------



## katorade

I give it two more people to tell someone to grow up before someone throws their own pity party and calls out to be banned in martyrdom.


----------



## thatgirl08

YEAH my bad. I deleted the post. I'm sick of arguing.


----------



## tonynyc

free2beme04 said:


> Why are we still fighting when we should be rejoicing? I would offer to throw a little party, but we all know where that goes...



 A party  I don't know Free2beme04: Not in this thread - I think we'd have folks fighting over William's Avatar like a Dead Carcass



Just a quick note.... 

1. Hopefully folks will find some sort of resolution through this thread. 

2. Whatever nastiness that has happens here just stays here (we don't need this stuff elsewhere)

3. How many of you are going to the NJ BASH ( or upcoming Bash/Events in your area)- it would be interesting to meet some of the participants here in the Flesh...


----------



## Sandie S-R

fatgirlflyin said:


> Are the exit rows illuminated with glow in the dark strips on the floor? Also, what flavor is the kool-aid this week?



As one of your friendly flight attendants, yes, the exit rows are illuminated with glow in the dark strips, and the kool-aid this week is kiwi-strawberry.

Be sure you stow away your tray, and you seat is in the upright and locked position before you attempt to exit. And you can use you seat for a floatation device.

Our inflight movie today is Roadhouse.


----------



## bigsexy920

This thread is a hot mess. Sandie - Lilly - you were killing me cut it out.


----------



## Shosh

fatgirlflyin said:


> Please don't tell me that we are now excusing Susannah's behavior because she has MS?
> 
> I agree with the points you were making, I just know I'd be devastated if someone brought my children into the middle of an argument. For Sandie, her kids are her dogs.



What "behaviour" would that be? None. I think your nastiness is showing. I am not surprised that you have to hide behind a new username.


----------



## Miss Vickie

Susannah said:


> What "behaviour" would that be? None. I think your nastiness is showing. I am not surprised that you have to hide behind a new username.



Yeah and that's not bullying or mean at all, Susannah.  But it's okay, right? Because you're "unwell"? I call bullshit. We are all accountable for what we say here, and since I don't think you know the circumstances for why she would change her user name, I think it's out of line for you to make assumptions.


----------



## Shosh

fatgirlflyin said:


> Please don't tell me that we are now excusing Susannah's behavior because she has MS?
> 
> I agree with the points you were making, I just know I'd be devastated if someone brought my children into the middle of an argument. For Sandie, her kids are her dogs.



Just a hint,you may want to change your profile picture if you really want to hide.


----------



## Miss Vickie

Susannah said:


> Just a hint,you may want to change your profile picture if you really want to hide.



Yeah you're just a total victim, aren't you?


----------



## Shosh

Anybody who knows me knows that I adore dogs. My own dog Cindy is everything to me. 

View attachment Resized 10.jpg


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Listen folks I want to apologize to everyone for my behavior in this thread. Really truly. Thatgirl - I like you - honestly, I apologize. And everyone else - this needs to be over. I'm tired of fighting.

And by the way - Lilly and I are still and always will be friends. I love her!:wubu:


----------



## Mathias

I also would like to apologize to anyone I've upset as well.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Mathias said:


> I also would like to apologize to anyone I've upset as well.



Thanks dude!


----------



## Shosh

I have just realized the "behaviour" I am guilty of.

I am guilty of standing up for myself against a person who has been relentlessly bullying me for years on this board. Now all her friends are predictably rallying around her in this thread. I have stood up for myself. Guilty as charged.

I support Israel. I will not give a pass to terrorists who murder and maim Israeli citizens. I support Israel's right to protect their citizens and their national interests. Guilty as charged.
Some would love it if Israel just disappeared off the map. It is not going to happen. Believe that.
It is interesting that the US and it's allies are fighting a war on terror on two fronts, namely Iraq and Afghanistan, but it is seen as ok if terrorists target Israel. Funny that.
No this is not a reincarnation of Hyde Park, I am just explaining the "Behaviour" I am guilty of.
Guilty as charged, and proud of it.


----------



## kayrae

I believe a picture of a dog has once again made everyone happy


----------



## Mathias

kayrae said:


> I believe a picture of a dog has once again made everyone happy



On that note, here's mine. Taken this afternoon


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Susannah said:


> Just a hint,you may want to change your profile picture if you really want to hide.





Susannah said:


> I have just realized the "behaviour" I am guilty of.
> 
> I am guilty of standing up for myself against a person who has been relentlessly bullying me for years on this board. Now all her friends are predictably rallying around her in this thread. I have stood up for myself. Guilty as charged.
> 
> I support Israel. I will not give a pass to terrorists who murder and maim Israeli citizens. I support Israel's right to protect their citizens and their national interests. Guilty as charged.
> Some would love it if Israel just disappeared off the map. It is not going to happen. Believe that.
> It is interesting that the US and it's allies are fighting a war on terror on two fronts, namely Iraq and Afghanistan, but it is seen as ok if terrorists target Israel. Funny that.
> No this is not a reincarnation of Hyde Park, I am just explaining the "Behaviour" I am guilty of.
> Guilty as charged, and proud of it.



It's more than just sticking up for Israel......the first quote I made was quite mean and had nothing to do with Israel.

I'm not a part of cliques, I don't have a cult leader, I don't choose sides. I'm just saying sometimes you are meaner than you admit to and have gotten progressively so. I know you are a nice person with a good heart, but a lot of the times you take things extremely personally when they aren't meant to be that personal.

I know I have hurt you in the past and I have apologised for that...and I will apologise again, but every time I make a post you are there arguing as if I am going out of my way to jab at you (see MJ thread).

Isn't forgiveness up there with kindness?


----------



## mossystate

Since I have had you on ignore since last October, I am thinking there were other things. Disagreeing will always = bullying, for some. Susannah, you have claws, and not just when you want to defend Israel, or whatever crap you want to attach all ' this '...to.

I cannot even remember all the threads, where, if ANYBODY disagreed with you, it was, " oh, it's because I am Susannah, that's why the attacks ". Different opinions, as strong as yours=attack.

Manipulation, in its purest form. Knock it off. Get the hell over me, Susannah. You want to bring up the bullshit that was that infamous thread...just remember how vile you were, calling some of us, " Jew haters ", and " anti-Semites ", for disagreeing with a government. Even after I told you I would KILL any person who would dare go after my nephew Gavriel, for being half- Jewish. Check yourself. You are out of control.


----------



## TraciJo67

Susannah said:


> I have just realized the "behaviour" I am guilty of.
> 
> I am guilty of standing up for myself against a person who has been relentlessly bullying me for years on this board. Now all her friends are predictably rallying around her in this thread. I have stood up for myself. Guilty as charged.
> 
> I support Israel. I will not give a pass to terrorists who murder and maim Israeli citizens. I support Israel's right to protect their citizens and their national interests. Guilty as charged.
> Some would love it if Israel just disappeared off the map. It is not going to happen. Believe that.
> It is interesting that the US and it's allies are fighting a war on terror on two fronts, namely Iraq and Afghanistan, but it is seen as ok if terrorists target Israel. Funny that.
> No this is not a reincarnation of Hyde Park, I am just explaining the "Behaviour" I am guilty of.
> Guilty as charged, and proud of it.



Um, no. Just ... no.

But now, this thread has EVERYTHING. Drama, intrigue, politics, humor, snark. I'm just waiting for the inevitable Godwin.

Oh, and if we're taking bets, put me down for 8pm (CST, when this thread will finally be closed for good).


----------



## tonynyc




----------



## Shosh

BigBellySSBBW said:


> It's more than just sticking up for Israel......the first quote I made was quite mean and had nothing to do with Israel.
> 
> I'm not a part of cliques, I don't have a cult leader, I don't choose sides. I'm just saying sometimes you are meaner than you admit to and have gotten progressively so. I know you are a nice person with a good heart, but a lot of the times you take things extremely personally when they aren't meant to be that personal.
> 
> I know I have hurt you in the past and I have apologised for that...and I will apologise again, but every time I make a post you are there arguing as if I am going out of my way to jab at you (see MJ thread).
> 
> Isn't forgiveness up there with kindness?



It is the law of the jungle. If people are nasty to you, you get your back up and have to become tougher.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Susannah said:


> It is the law of the jungle. If people are nasty to you, you get your back up and have to become tougher.




Yes, that is true...but then that means you are one of them. We are all as bad as each other in some way or another because as you say...It is the law of the jungle. Eat or be eaten.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Sandie S-R said:


> As one of your friendly flight attendants, yes, the exit rows are illuminated with glow in the dark strips, and the kool-aid this week is kiwi-strawberry.
> 
> Be sure you stow away your tray, and you seat is in the upright and locked position before you attempt to exit. And you can use you seat for a floatation device.
> 
> Our inflight movie today is Roadhouse.



I take up two seats, so I get two floaties right?


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Susannah said:


> What "behaviour" would that be? None. I think your nastiness is showing. I am not surprised that you have to hide behind a new username.





OK Susannah, your everyone is picking on me, I dont know why so and so doesn't like me behavior is the behavior I'm talking about. When Hyde Park was around it was the no one likes jews and you are picking on me because I'm a jew behavior. Is that clear enough?

I said nothing nasty about you, in fact I've said nothing nasty about anyone in this thread. Though there has been plenty of opportunity to be nasty for nastys sake. 

If I want to say you're acting like a spoiled child who just got their toy taken away, I will. Under this user name or any other user name. I'm certainly not afraid to have my words associated with who I am. I have a different username for reasons that are none of your business, but you can be sure it has nothing to do with you or any other Dims member.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Susannah said:


> Just a hint,you may want to change your profile picture if you really want to hide.




How about I'm not hiding? How about I just don't want to be fucking searchable, like I was under the other username?

Here's a hint for you though, if you remove that stick that you've got shoved so far up your ass, you might find that you get along with more people.


----------



## mossystate

All I know is that I want more than 2 measly bags of peanuts.

I want the champagne to flow....freely.


----------



## BarbBBW

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Listen folks I want to apologize to everyone for my behavior in this thread. Really truly. Thatgirl - I like you - honestly, I apologize. And everyone else - this needs to be over. I'm tired of fighting.
> 
> And by the way - Lilly and I are still and always will be friends. I love her!:wubu:



yay!!! i am glad the fighting is over with you Sandie, I was getting worried here , i gotta say.
everyone hug and make up!!


----------



## tonynyc




----------



## katorade

mossystate said:


> All I know is that I want more than 2 measly bags of peanuts.
> 
> I want the champagne to flow....freely.



But what about people with peanut allergies?!? Don't be such an inconsiderate bitch!










Sorry, I was getting tired of the love fest that started rearing its ugly head.


----------



## Shosh

Life is sweet in the land of the ignore button.:bow:


----------



## Shosh

My friend sent this to me this morning.

It is so amazing and wonderful. For all the dog lovers here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JE-Nyt4Bmi8


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

tonynyc said:


> So Greenie: if John Cena can't make you talk would the threat of the _"Great Khali Kiss Cam" _do the trick....



That guy is too big.....even for me :blink: 




BothGunsBlazing said:


> Can some one please sticky this thread at the top of the Library section of the board? I can say with 100% honesty it's hotter than any story I've read on there.




Wha??? Even hotter than the smut I have posted down there? You slay me.... 



When I first saw that this thread had grown about 8-10 pages longer since my lunchbreak, I thought of cracking some joke about quitting my job and never grocery shopping/doing laundry again so I have time to read Dims all day long...........

Now that I have came to this spot....I'm thinking I need a second job or night classes......hell just a date on Friday night would be nice even.... :doh:


----------



## BarbBBW

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> That guy is too big.....even for me :blink:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Wha??? Even hotter than the smut I have posted down there? You slay me....
> 
> 
> 
> *When I first saw that this thread had grown about 8-10 pages longer since my lunchbreak, I thought of cracking some joke about quitting my job and never grocery shopping/doing laundry again so I have time to read Dims all day long...........*
> 
> Now that I have came to this spot....I'm thinking I need a second job or night classes......hell just a date on Friday night would be nice even.... :doh:



i know I have to say I missed about the last 12 pages or so i believe LOL
i just couldnt read thru it. I'll have to put on my IOPD with some Old school Metallica and read the angry parts hehehe


----------



## Mini

I can honestly say that this thread has been the most awesome part of my week. I mean, goddamn, some of y'all ladies is VICIOUS. But it's all in good fun, right?


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Shush it Mr Eye Candy and get back to posting in the nekkid picture thread already......:bow:


----------



## Mini

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Shush it Mr Eye Candy and get back to posting in the nekkid picture thread already......:bow:



Ah, the truth comes out! Y'all don't value my brains, just my meat.

... Oddly enough, I can live with that.


----------



## mossystate

katorade said:


> But what about people with peanut allergies?!? Don't be such an inconsiderate bitch!



I will find a comfy chair...MY THRONE ( ok, not the toilet...shhhh ) and I will watch the suffering. It's what I doooooooooo.


Meat?...is is ground beef?...filet?...mystery meat hot dog? If you talk about it, give detail...or....shoosh.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Mini said:


> Ah, the truth comes out! Y'all don't value my brains, just my meat.
> 
> ... Oddly enough, I can live with that.



Sorry....it must have been a big shock for you....the way I go around carrying on about big........brains and such


----------



## Mini

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Sorry....it must have been a big shock for you....the way I go around carrying on about big........brains and such



STIMULATE MY WOMB WITH YOUR MASSIVE BRAIN.

Yeah, that's you in a nutshell.


----------



## tonynyc

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Shush it Mr Eye Candy and get back to posting in the nekkid picture thread already......:bow:





Green Eyed Fairy said:


> That guy is too big.....even for me :blink:
> 
> When I first saw that this thread had grown about 8-10 pages longer since my lunchbreak, I thought of cracking some joke about quitting my job and never grocery shopping/doing laundry again so I have time to read Dims all day long...........
> 
> Now that I have came to this spot....I'm thinking I need a second job or night classes......hell just a date on Friday night would be nice even.... :doh:



Well Greenie - I don't want to hear stories about you distracting innocent Powerlifters at any of the Weightlifting meets. You know I had to bring the Big Guns since John Cena wasn't deemed a threat by you.... 



BarbBBW said:


> i know I have to say I missed about the last 12 pages or so i believe LOL
> i just couldnt read thru it. I'll have to put on my IOPD with some Old school Metallica and read the angry parts hehehe



And skip the good non-angry parts  ... Yes this thread is a definite must read . It's so many things and very sexy. I mean you look at the pictures of the lovely ladies here,everyone looks so sweet-but, shit ready to kick ass when need be. As others have said- this not only needs to be a sticky but required reading. 

This definitely inspires me to workout tomorrow.... :happy:


----------



## Shosh

When I have done something wrong in my life and I know that it is so, I have no problem apologizing to any effected parties.
But in this case I will be damned if I am going to do so. There is no way in hell I am going to apologize for defending myself from the abuse that I have had to put up with from some here. It is not going to happen.
Say what you want about me, I do not give a damn, because I know it to be untrue.

For the others reading this thread I do apologize that you have to be drawn into all this nastiness. 
For all my friends here I thank you for your continued care and support of me.

I have had two seperate messages on my Facebook page from two people that used to be frequent posters here.
They told me that they left because this place is no longer about unity amongst BBW'S and size acceptance, but it has become a place where a few nasty and outspoken others go after people at every opportunity.


----------



## Angel

Mini said:


> I can honestly say that this thread has been the most awesome part of my week. I mean, goddamn, some of y'all ladies is VICIOUS. But it's all in good fun, right?



Go on. Admit it. 

You don't want this to end.

You wanna see them wearing bikinis and either wrestling in a pool full of mud or a pool of jello.


----------



## Mini

Angel said:


> Go on. Admit it.
> 
> You don't want this to end.
> 
> You wanna see them wearing bikinis and either wrestling in a pool full of mud or a pool of jello.



A pool of blood, actually. I'm a bit off that way.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Susannah said:


> When I have done something wrong in my life and I know that it is so, I have no problem apologizing to any effected parties.
> But in this case I will be damned if I am going to do so. There is no way in hell I am going to apologize for defending myself from the abuse that I have had to put up with from some here. It is not going to happen.
> Say what you want about me, I do not give a damn, because I know it to be untrue.
> 
> For the others reading this thread I do apologize that you have to be drawn into all this nastiness.
> For all my friends here I thank you for your continued care and support of me.
> 
> I have had two seperate messages on my Facebook page from two people that used to be frequent posters here.
> They told me that they left because this place is no longer about unity amongst BBW'S and size acceptance, but it has become a place where a few nasty and outspoken others go after people at every opportunity.




.......... 

View attachment cheese2.jpg


----------



## LisaInNC

Ok I was going to try and read all the posts, but I decided I would rather masturbate with a cheese grater. You are all fucking douchenozzles.
The End


----------



## Mini

LisaInNC said:


> Ok I was going to try and read all the posts, but I decided I would rather masturbate with a cheese grater. You are all fucking douchenozzles.
> The End



That's not nice! BULLY.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I find the phrase "douchenozzle" strangely erotic......How YOU doing, Lisa? :batting:








I wasn't kidding when I said I need a date.....


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

LisaInNC said:


> Ok I was going to try and read all the posts, but I decided I would rather masturbate with a cheese grater. You are all fucking douchenozzles.
> The End




YOUCH!!!! you must have a super high threshold for pain...cos omg just thought brings water to my eyes....and no tears fell down my cheeks reading this thread.

Again...YOUCHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I find the phrase "douchenozzle" strangely erotic......How YOU doing, Lisa? :batting:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I wasn't kidding when I said I need a date.....




I'll be your date. That is if you think you can deal with my nastiness. :wubu:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

fatgirlflyin said:


> I'll be your date. That is if you think you can deal with my nastiness. :wubu:



How much you weigh?


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> How much you weigh?



a bajillionty pounds


----------



## LisaInNC

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I find the phrase "douchenozzle" strangely erotic......How YOU doing, Lisa? :batting:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I wasn't kidding when I said I need a date.....



Date or no date needed...you have always wanted to touch my special no no place. Go wash your hands and lets do this thing!!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

fatgirlflyin said:


> a bajillionty pounds



Got pics? got a cam? 



Just show me what you got....I'm not really interested in meeting a real woman in person....


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

LisaInNC said:


> Date or no date needed...you have always wanted to touch my special no no place. Go wash your hands and lets do this thing!!



The thought of not washing turns me on even more........told you I am a dirty woman.....what did you think I meant? :blush:


----------



## LisaInNC

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> The thought of not washing turns me on even more........told you I am a dirty woman.....what did you think I meant? :blush:



I am sorry...you must wash your hands before you touch my peep...bacteria you know


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

LisaInNC said:


> I am sorry...you must wash your hands before you touch my peep...bacteria you know




I'm going to have to see many pictures of your peep.....you know, to see if it's worth the trouble of me getting up to wash my hands......


----------



## TraciJo67

Susannah said:


> When I have done something wrong in my life and I know that it is so, I have no problem apologizing to any effected parties.
> But in this case I will be damned if I am going to do so. There is no way in hell I am going to apologize for defending myself from the abuse that I have had to put up with from some here. It is not going to happen.
> Say what you want about me, I do not give a damn, because I know it to be untrue.
> 
> For the others reading this thread I do apologize that you have to be drawn into all this nastiness.
> For all my friends here I thank you for your continued care and support of me.
> 
> I have had two seperate messages on my Facebook page from two people that used to be frequent posters here.
> They told me that they left because this place is no longer about unity amongst BBW'S and size acceptance, but it has become a place where a few nasty and outspoken others go after people at every opportunity.



Well, since the "I must be right because silent supporters say so" card has been pulled out ... 

Checked my recent explosion in REP points lately, Susannah? I bet you have


----------



## LillyBBBW

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> OK - now I really don't care. Some people need to express more than others.
> 
> And BTW - I know some of you jumped on me because of my argument with Lilly. You need to PM Lilly about what really happened. Lilly and I are friends. So, sometimes things are not as they seem.
> 
> PM Lilly.



This is true! I've been *DYING* to use that "awfully wedded wife" line for years and years now. I sat there twitching staring at Wayne's post which was like a siren song of 'YES!' to my eyes. So I made that prickley post and Sandie, bless her sweet heart, was a good sport and played along with me. The fight between us was fake but I'm going to leave the Nellie Olsen avatar up just for fun. Strange that our little cat fight brought out so many claws in here. Yipe!  Sorry I abandoned you Sandie.


----------



## tonynyc




----------



## Weeze

nevermind.
i didn't realize we made up.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Listen folks I want to apologize to everyone for my behavior in this thread. Really truly. Thatgirl - I like you - honestly, I apologize. And everyone else - this needs to be over. I'm tired of fighting.
> 
> And by the way - Lilly and I are still and always will be friends. I love her!:wubu:



I love you too Sandie girl. And I'm sorry you had to put up with that comment from Mathias about your baby. Somehow I feel partially responsible. I knew that making the fuss I did would stir a few things around but I just had no idea.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

LillyBBBW said:


> This is true! I've been *DYING* to use that "awfully wedded wife" line for years and years now. I sat there twitching staring at Wayne's post which was like a siren song of 'YES!' to my eyes. So I made that prickley post and Sandie, bless her sweet heart, was a good sport and played along with me. The fight between us was fake but I'm going to leave the Nellie Olsen avatar up just for fun. Strange that our little cat fight brought out so many claws in here. Yipe!  Sorry I abandoned you Sandie.



It feels like a giant conspiracy. What's next? Pix of Traci, Monique and Susannah laughing over coffee?


----------



## Miss Vickie

Susannah, don't you ever get tired of playing the victim card? Like, EVER? I have no problem with anyone disagreeing with me. Hell, I've had WLS and have had to put up with no _end_ of abuse, but at least I'll defend myself and my choices and not get the vapors when anyone is "mean" to me. I've been called a slut and a whore, a traitor to size acceptance, a sexual deviant who should not be able to help women in childbirth, and the list goes on. I've been insulted directly and indirectly for the decade or so I've been part of this site, by people whose words literally brought me to tears. I stood up and took my lumps, and gave back as good as I got (sometimes even better!)

But what I have never done, despite all of the trauma and abuse in my life, despite the pain and illness and fear of -- yes -- death, is played victim. I have never ever said that people "had to" be nice to me because I'm "unwell". What I've done when I felt that I wasn't able to participate in discussions, whether because of weakness, illness or just being busy, is not engage. But what you do is engage in discussion, call names (yes, _you_ called us anti-semites, that was _you_, merely because we thought maybe it wasn't nice to kill Palestinian *children*) and then suddenly become weak and play the victim. You're either a victim because you're Jewish and we hate Jews (so very NOT true -- my husband's father and half his family are Jews) or because you're sick. But you are never, ever, to blame.

Well, I get that you're sick. I feel horribly for you, that you have to endure a largely untreatable condition that is debilitating. I have a similar disease that could easily progress the same way; it's eating my lungs, bit by bit, and someday I could be on oxygen, or a ventilator, or worse when my lungs are no longer able to inflate at all. I have cancer, on top of it all, which could also kill me. But what I won't do is play the victim, because I'm not. And neither are you.

If you're too sick to engage in debate, then... well... don't. It's that simple. But if you call me an anti-semite, or any other name in the book, be ready to hear about it. And you will continue to hear about it until you have the ovaries to apologize. Because saying Palestinian children should die is fucking MEAN, Susannah, and my saying so makes me nothing more than an advocate for children. _*All*_ children. Even the brown eyed, brown skinned ones you don't seem to care about.

That's all I have to say. No doubt you'll put me on ignore and I'll hear all about it. If that's what you have to do to take care of yourself, then great. But I won't put you on ignore and I will continue to call you on your bullshit.


----------



## LillyBBBW

BigBellySSBBW said:


> It feels like a giant conspiracy. What's next? Pix of Traci, Monique and Susannah laughing over coffee?



Or shaking hands through a fence. No I'm afraid that part is real. Sorry if we blew your mind BBSSBBW.


----------



## Miss Vickie

LillyBBBW said:


> Or shaking hands through a fence. No I'm afraid that part is real. Sorry if we blew your mind BBSSBBW.



Still, though, Lilly, wow. I didn't know you had it in you. Especially the "awfully wedded" part. You had me fooled, I admit it. I'm so damn gullible.


----------



## cinnamitch

LisaInNC said:


> Ok I was going to try and read all the posts, but I decided I would rather masturbate with a cheese grater. You are all fucking douchenozzles.
> The End



psst, um id use a vibrator if i was you.


----------



## Miss Vickie

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I want to set her up with my ex-boyfriend- got her number?



How bad is it that I, the woman who is up close and personal with vulvas for a living, is afraid to look at that link.

Tell me, how bad is it? Should I get the dogs, kid and hubby out of the room? Should I cover my eyes?


----------



## katorade

Miss Vickie said:


> Still, though, Lilly, wow. I didn't know you had it in you. Especially the "awfully wedded" part. You had me fooled, I admit it. I'm so damn gullible.



Same here. I guess it was really easy to take as truth seeing as there's a fairly sizable portion of the boards that actually does feel that way, even if Lilly doesn't.


----------



## LisaInNC

Miss Vickie said:


> How bad is it that I, the woman who is up close and personal with vulvas for a living, is afraid to look at that link.
> 
> Tell me, how bad is it? Should I get the dogs, kid and hubby out of the room? Should I cover my eyes?



Oh its pretty bad...not even sure whats wrong with it.


----------



## tonynyc

LillyBBBW said:


> Or shaking hands through a fence. No I'm afraid that part is real. Sorry if we blew your mind BBSSBBW.



*Lilly: Have you & Sandie ever considered a career change?
You could both either work for Vince or you both can be the "JackHammers of Dims" *


----------



## katorade

Miss Vickie said:


> How bad is it that I, the woman who is up close and personal with vulvas for a living, is afraid to look at that link.
> 
> Tell me, how bad is it? Should I get the dogs, kid and hubby out of the room? Should I cover my eyes?




Think...






but pink...and not very charming at all.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Miss Vickie said:


> How bad is it that I, the woman who is up close and personal with vulvas for a living, is afraid to look at that link.
> 
> Tell me, how bad is it? Should I get the dogs, kid and hubby out of the room? Should I cover my eyes?





This is much more attractive though.......


So glad my snatch has never looked that bad..........:blink:


----------



## Miss Vickie

LisaInNC said:


> Oh its pretty bad...not even sure whats wrong with it.



*gasp* I peeked.

I think it's some pretty wicked condyloma. How sad that something so nasty has such a pretty name. Condyloma acuminata. Say it with me, folks.


----------



## Shosh

BigBellySSBBW said:


> It feels like a giant conspiracy. What's next? Pix of Traci, Monique and Susannah laughing over coffee?



Happily there are plenty of people here I WOULD like to laugh over coffee with.


----------



## Blackjack

Miss Vickie said:


> Susannah, don't you ever get tired of playing the victim card? Like, EVER? I have no problem with anyone disagreeing with me. Hell, I've had WLS and have had to put up with no _end_ of abuse, but at least I'll defend myself and my choices and not get the vapors when anyone is "mean" to me. I've been called a slut and a whore, a traitor to size acceptance, a sexual deviant who should not be able to help women in childbirth, and the list goes on. I've been insulted directly and indirectly for the decade or so I've been part of this site, by people whose words literally brought me to tears. I stood up and took my lumps, and gave back as good as I got (sometimes even better!)
> 
> But what I have never done, despite all of the trauma and abuse in my life, despite the pain and illness and fear of -- yes -- death, is played victim. I have never ever said that people "had to" be nice to me because I'm "unwell". What I've done when I felt that I wasn't able to participate in discussions, whether because of weakness, illness or just being busy, is not engage. But what you do is engage in discussion, call names (yes, _you_ called us anti-semites, that was _you_, merely because we thought maybe it wasn't nice to kill Palestinian *children*) and then suddenly become weak and play the victim. You're either a victim because you're Jewish and we hate Jews (so very NOT true -- my husband's father and half his family are Jews) or because you're sick. But you are never, ever, to blame.
> 
> Well, I get that you're sick. I feel horribly for you, that you have to endure a largely untreatable condition that is debilitating. I have a similar disease that could easily progress the same way; it's eating my lungs, bit by bit, and someday I could be on oxygen, or a ventilator, or worse when my lungs are no longer able to inflate at all. I have cancer, on top of it all, which could also kill me. But what I won't do is play the victim, because I'm not. And neither are you.
> 
> If you're too sick to engage in debate, then... well... don't. It's that simple. But if you call me an anti-semite, or any other name in the book, be ready to hear about it. And you will continue to hear about it until you have the ovaries to apologize. Because saying Palestinian children should die is fucking MEAN, Susannah, and my saying so makes me nothing more than an advocate for children. _*All*_ children. Even the brown eyed, brown skinned ones you don't seem to care about.
> 
> That's all I have to say. No doubt you'll put me on ignore and I'll hear all about it. If that's what you have to do to take care of yourself, then great. But I won't put you on ignore and I will continue to call you on your bullshit.


----------



## rainyday

Lilly, what was your motivation for the pretense? Not being snarky. I'm genuinely curious. Sandie rubs many people (including me) the wrong way and almost always flies off the handle when it's returned. Sorry, Sandie, but it's the truth. It was predicable she'd respond in a way that annoyed people further and it'd start a _thing_, so knowing all that, why do it? From what I know of you Lilly, I doubt you'd do it just to up the friction so I'm not getting your motivation.


----------



## katorade

Miss Vickie said:


> *gasp* I peeked.
> 
> I think it's some pretty wicked condyloma. How sad that something so nasty has such a pretty name. Condyloma acuminata. Say it with me, folks.



Condyloma, Secretary of Stank.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Miss Vickie said:


> *gasp* I peeked.
> 
> I think it's some pretty wicked condyloma. How sad that something so nasty has such a pretty name. Condyloma acuminata. Say it with me, folks.



What is that? and what causes it? 

AND...

Whatever it is....I suspect it's been left untreated.....for a long long time......:blink:


----------



## LillyBBBW

Miss Vickie said:


> Still, though, Lilly, wow. I didn't know you had it in you. Especially the "awfully wedded" part. You had me fooled, I admit it. I'm so damn gullible.



I have six older brothers, all of them bullies. Let's just say I've had a lot of practice.


----------



## LillyBBBW

rainyday said:


> Lilly, what was your motivation for the pretense? Not being snarky. I'm genuinely curious. Sandie rubs many people (including me) the wrong way and almost always flies off the handle when it's returned. Sorry, Sandie, but it's the truth. It was predicable she'd respond in a way that annoyed people further and it'd start a _thing_, so knowing all that, why do it? From what I know of you Lilly, I doubt you'd do it just to up the friction so I'm not getting your motivation.



Honestly? It simply was just to use that "awfully wedded" line and that was it. I truly did think that after a few posts when our taunts started to get silly people would pick up on it.


----------



## Miss Vickie

Blackjack said:


>



Pshaw, thanks. 



katorade said:


> Condyloma, Secretary of Stank.



Is that stank? Or skank?  I'm sure there are more than a few little girls named Condyloma out there, I'm sorry to say. Unfortunately, whenever I see it typed out, I start humming the Lion King song...



Green Eyed Fairy said:


> What is that? and what causes it?
> 
> AND...
> 
> Whatever it is....I suspect it's been left untreated.....for a long long time......:blink:



If it's what I think it is, condyloma is caused by HPV, and is also known as "warts". And yes, something like that would have to go untreated for a long time to get that big unless someone had a very poorly functioning immune system. I've condylomas before on my mamma's, but never like that. Something like that would probably require a surgeon to remove, and I'm not sure how much external genitalia would be left after the fact. 



LillyBBBW said:


> I have six older brothers, all of them bullies. Let's just say I've had a lot of practice.



Yeah, well, it shows, although I hate to say it like it's a compliment. But verbal acrobatics like that are impressive to me, even when I'm on the receiving end of them.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> What is that? and what causes it?
> 
> AND...
> 
> Whatever it is....I suspect it's been left untreated.....for a long long time......:blink:



I think the power of Google has answered this....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genital_wart

Wear a jimmy hat............


Edit: you beat me Miss Vicki 

Thanks-


----------



## LillyBBBW

Miss Vickie said:


> Pshaw, thanks.
> 
> 
> 
> Is that stank? Or skank?  I'm sure there are more than a few little girls named Condyloma out there, I'm sorry to say. Unfortunately, whenever I see it typed out, I start humming the Lion King song...
> 
> 
> 
> If it's what I think it is, condyloma is caused by HPV, and is also known as "warts". And yes, something like that would have to go untreated for a long time to get that big unless someone had a very poorly functioning immune system. I've condylomas before on my mamma's, but never like that. Something like that would probably require a surgeon to remove, and I'm not sure how much external genitalia would be left after the fact.
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah, well, it shows, although I hate to say it like it's a compliment. But verbal acrobatics like that are impressive to me, even when I'm on the receiving end of them.



Well there are far better skills to cultivate that's for sure. In another place and time 'capping' on people was the number one passtime. Everybody did it for fun. Believe it or not I'm long out of practice. I used to be better at it, or worse depending on how you look at it.


----------



## rainyday

LillyBBBW said:


> Honestly? It simply was just to use that "awfully wedded" line and that was it. I truly did think that after a few posts when our taunts started to get silly people would pick up on it.



Dork
extra characters


----------



## Shosh

Miss Vickie said:


> Susannah, don't you ever get tired of playing the victim card? Like, EVER? I have no problem with anyone disagreeing with me. Hell, I've had WLS and have had to put up with no _end_ of abuse, but at least I'll defend myself and my choices and not get the vapors when anyone is "mean" to me. I've been called a slut and a whore, a traitor to size acceptance, a sexual deviant who should not be able to help women in childbirth, and the list goes on. I've been insulted directly and indirectly for the decade or so I've been part of this site, by people whose words literally brought me to tears. I stood up and took my lumps, and gave back as good as I got (sometimes even better!)
> 
> But what I have never done, despite all of the trauma and abuse in my life, despite the pain and illness and fear of -- yes -- death, is played victim. I have never ever said that people "had to" be nice to me because I'm "unwell". What I've done when I felt that I wasn't able to participate in discussions, whether because of weakness, illness or just being busy, is not engage. But what you do is engage in discussion, call names (yes, _you_ called us anti-semites, that was _you_, merely because we thought maybe it wasn't nice to kill Palestinian *children*) and then suddenly become weak and play the victim. You're either a victim because you're Jewish and we hate Jews (so very NOT true -- my husband's father and half his family are Jews) or because you're sick. But you are never, ever, to blame.
> 
> Well, I get that you're sick. I feel horribly for you, that you have to endure a largely untreatable condition that is debilitating. I have a similar disease that could easily progress the same way; it's eating my lungs, bit by bit, and someday I could be on oxygen, or a ventilator, or worse when my lungs are no longer able to inflate at all. I have cancer, on top of it all, which could also kill me. But what I won't do is play the victim, because I'm not. And neither are you.
> 
> If you're too sick to engage in debate, then... well... don't. It's that simple. But if you call me an anti-semite, or any other name in the book, be ready to hear about it. And you will continue to hear about it until you have the ovaries to apologize. Because saying Palestinian children should die is fucking MEAN, Susannah, and my saying so makes me nothing more than an advocate for children. _*All*_ children. Even the brown eyed, brown skinned ones you don't seem to care about.
> 
> That's all I have to say. No doubt you'll put me on ignore and I'll hear all about it. If that's what you have to do to take care of yourself, then great. But I won't put you on ignore and I will continue to call you on your bullshit.



I think you need to apologize. I have NEVER said I want Palestinian children to die NEVER. You may need to read that thread over from start to finish.
I worked with children as a teacher for a very long time, and I love all children regardless of race.
That is disgraceful of you to say that. Read the thread.
I guess it is conversely ok for you to not give a damn about the lives of Israelis.
Likewise I will continue to call you and your friends on your bullshit, even if I am a lone voice in the wilderness.
All the innane support in the form of tired and overused gifs will not stop that.


----------



## Blackjack

Ah, nevermind.


----------



## LillyBBBW

rainyday said:


> Dork
> extra characters



Yeah, in retrospect. I'm just glad no one was killed.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I thought that nothing worse could come after that picture....but I keep thinking about Miss Vicki saying that part of that vag now has be be "surgically removed". 

Oh my gawd..............

However..........THAT WOMAN DOESN'T DESERVE TO OWN A VAGINA ANYWAY!

So why do I care? :doh:


----------



## mossystate

I am so glad I had feta cheese on my salad.


----------



## Miss Vickie

Susannah, that thread was bad enough the first time. I have neither the time, nor the inclination, to read it again. It was _that_ bad. But I know what you said, just as I know that you also called us "anti-semites" because we were appalled at the completely out of balance loss of innocent life. 

So, uhm, no. I'm sorry but no apology from me. I know what you said, because it was there in black and white, and so disgusted me that I couldn't believe that such lack of concern for children's safety and life could come out of anyone's mouth, let alone a woman (I hold us to a higher standard than men).

Oh and find for me just one instance where I said I didn't care about Israelis. The fact that you'd -- get again -- make such an outrageous accusation is just beyond the pale.

Victim? My fat ass.


----------



## The Fez

Blackjack, IOU one rep


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Lilly - sweetheart - it's fine. 




LillyBBBW said:


> This is true! I've been *DYING* to use that "awfully wedded wife" line for years and years now. I sat there twitching staring at Wayne's post which was like a siren song of 'YES!' to my eyes. So I made that prickley post and Sandie, bless her sweet heart, was a good sport and played along with me. The fight between us was fake but I'm going to leave the Nellie Olsen avatar up just for fun. Strange that our little cat fight brought out so many claws in here. Yipe!  Sorry I abandoned you Sandie.


----------



## Miss Vickie

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Lilly - sweetheart - it's fine.



Sandie, I'm sorry if I was grumpy with you today. I have no excuse, but I really did think you were dissing me. I'm glad to hear you weren't.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

No darlin' - you're not responsible at all. 




LillyBBBW said:


> I love you too Sandie girl. And I'm sorry you had to put up with that comment from Mathias about your baby. Somehow I feel partially responsible. I knew that making the fuss I did would stir a few things around but I just had no idea.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Blow me.




rainyday said:


> Lilly, what was your motivation for the pretense? Not being snarky. I'm genuinely curious. Sandie rubs many people (including me) the wrong way and almost always flies off the handle when it's returned. Sorry, Sandie, but it's the truth. It was predicable she'd respond in a way that annoyed people further and it'd start a _thing_, so knowing all that, why do it? From what I know of you Lilly, I doubt you'd do it just to up the friction so I'm not getting your motivation.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Miss Vickie said:


> Sandie, I'm sorry if I was grumpy with you today. I have no excuse, but I really did think you were dissing me. I'm glad to hear you weren't.




Vickie - I was grumpy too - obviously.


----------



## Miss Vickie

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Vickie - I was grumpy too - obviously.



I was bratty, but then I often am.  No excuse, other than feeling like shit. But a little bit o' Johnny Depp and suddenly the world is a happier place. *drool drool*


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Honestly the funniest dog video I have ever seen:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMWgCl061H8


----------



## phatfatgirl

The original is pretty funny too Sandie! lol :happy:


----------



## Sandie S-R

fatgirlflyin said:


> I take up two seats, so I get two floaties right?



Absofreakinlutely!!


----------



## moore2me

Let me throw in a couple of points to consider before this thread further deteriorates.

I am sure Susannah never expressed a wish to hurt children. As sure as fish like water and birds like air, Susannah has always shown love for all children on these Boards. When humanity starts using children as human shields in wartime or stealing children and forcing them to kill and be solders of war  this takes our puny little arguments to a whole different level. Something like that could easily provoke a heated discussion that is misinterpreted. The problems in the Middle East and now Africa are just too complicated for casual discussion in an internet - such misunderstandings as the current conflict easily occur. 

We talk & talk about who is right in religious or racial wars, but to jump our friends for their opinions is, well . . . .useless, demeaning to both sides, and alienates folks who have come to this Forum for help, guidance, and empathy.

This brings me to the second point in calling out Susannah as a perpetual victim. Look back at the Thread where she talks about her journey with her illness. Many posters (myself included) encouraged her to do so. This encouragement has continued for many, many months. Those that thought this was bellyaching must have held their peace or talked in private. However, I remember many of Soshies detractors spending bandwidth talking about their own private hells, illnesses, or family problems. You should remember that some folks need more assurance, more reinforcement, and more human contact than someone like myself. 

Also remember that Soshie has no partner to talk to, she has had no real mother to speak of, and the one thing she wanted most in life  a baby  has been denied her. The least we could do is allow her some of our Forum space to talk to the hundreds of Dimmers that consider the girl a friend. And if others come along that need to work out their problems in such a manner, I see no reason why they shouldnt be offered the same space. Most of us will listen and if we can help, or challenge, or chide the poster we will do that too. Plus, some of us will post pictures of monkeys wearing assless chaps riding a dog.


----------



## KHayes666

Holy crap, I'm gone for one day and the whole thread goes into a free for all.

We got the Zitkus family real and phony fighting with members, we got Shoshie battling people, we got Tony trying to play peacemaker.

We got us a.....







Since I was one of the first to post...I guess I'll vollunteer to draw number 1. Lets see if I can go coast to coast here.

Shoshie, I love ya but sometimes you need to take better care of your friends. Otherwise when you do get in battles with the bullies, you'll have no one there to back you up. If you don't know what I mean, PM me.

I've already said my piece about some of the bullies around here so no need repeating it. 

Mathias....I myself am no stranger to low blows (Yankee fans have never forgiven me in the AOL chatroom for my Curse of Osama speech after they lost to the Diamondbacks in the world series) but sometimes you don't need to go low to do damage. I know this is the pot calling the kettle black but if someone hits you with a jab, you counter with a hook, not with a kick to the gut.

BGB.......I got nothin, proceed.

Beej.....I'll ask this again, what the hell does 191/1000 mean in your sig? Oh and the pic of the dude clapping, where is that from?

Tony....I hope you draw number 2 so we could gang up on number 3, which would probably be Andre the Giant, Great Khali, Big Show or some other monster that could tear us both apart individually :doh:

Lilly and Sandie....touche, you even had me fooled.

To those who say can't we all just get along, I wish we could but you can't have hero's without villains.

*backs self into the corner and waits for the next Rumble participant to join*


----------



## Fascinita

This thread has made bullies some of the most chic, trendiest, most talked about members of this forum.

This thread makes me wish I had my own bully! :smitten:


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

I love this post - it was great!!
Nice wrap up. LOL




KHayes666 said:


> Holy crap, I'm gone for one day and the whole thread goes into a free for all.
> 
> We got the Zitkus family real and phony fighting with members, we got Shoshie battling people, we got Tony trying to play peacemaker.
> 
> We got us a.....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Since I was one of the first to post...I guess I'll vollunteer to draw number 1. Lets see if I can go coast to coast here.
> 
> Shoshie, I love ya but sometimes you need to take better care of your friends. Otherwise when you do get in battles with the bullies, you'll have no one there to back you up. If you don't know what I mean, PM me.
> 
> I've already said my piece about some of the bullies around here so no need repeating it.
> 
> Mathias....I myself am no stranger to low blows (Yankee fans have never forgiven me in the AOL chatroom for my Curse of Osama speech after they lost to the Diamondbacks in the world series) but sometimes you don't need to go low to do damage. I know this is the pot calling the kettle black but if someone hits you with a jab, you counter with a hook, not with a kick to the gut.
> 
> BGB.......I got nothin, proceed.
> 
> Beej.....I'll ask this again, what the hell does 191/1000 mean in your sig? Oh and the pic of the dude clapping, where is that from?
> 
> Tony....I hope you draw number 2 so we could gang up on number 3, which would probably be Andre the Giant, Great Khali, Big Show or some other monster that could tear us both apart individually :doh:
> 
> Lilly and Sandie....touche, you even had me fooled.
> 
> To those who say can't we all just get along, I wish we could but you can't have hero's without villains.
> 
> *backs self into the corner and waits for the next Rumble participant to join*


----------



## mossystate

moore2me said:


> Let me throw in a couple of points to consider before this thread further deteriorates.
> 
> I am sure Susannah never expressed a wish to hurt children. As sure as fish like water and birds like air, Susannah has always shown love for all children on these Boards. When humanity starts using children as human shields in wartime or stealing children and forcing them to kill and be solders of war  this takes our puny little arguments to a whole different level. Something like that could easily provoke a heated discussion that is misinterpreted. The problems in the Middle East and now Africa are just too complicated for casual discussion in an internet - such misunderstandings as the current conflict easily occur.
> 
> We talk & talk about who is right in religious or racial wars, but to jump our friends for their opinions is, well . . . .useless, demeaning to both sides, and alienates folks who have come to this Forum for help, guidance, and empathy.
> 
> This brings me to the second point in calling out Susannah as a perpetual victim. Look back at the Thread where she talks about her journey with her illness. Many posters (myself included) encouraged her to do so. This encouragement has continued for many, many months. Those that thought this was bellyaching must have held their peace or talked in private. However, I remember many of Soshies detractors spending bandwidth talking about their own private hells, illnesses, or family problems. You should remember that some folks need more assurance, more reinforcement, and more human contact than someone like myself.
> 
> Also remember that Soshie has no partner to talk to, she has had no real mother to speak of, and the one thing she wanted most in life  a baby  has been denied her. The least we could do is allow her some of our Forum space to talk to the hundreds of Dimmers that consider the girl a friend. And if others come along that need to work out their problems in such a manner, I see no reason why they shouldnt be offered the same space. Most of us will listen and if we can help, or challenge, or chide the poster we will do that too. Plus, some of us will post pictures of monkeys wearing assless chaps riding a dog.




You obviously read nothing, or at least you refuse to see what was said, and waht was not said.

Nobody that I can see, is saying that any person out Here not talk about illness...death...troubles of whatever kind. Some are saying that you don't allow a person to use as an excuse, everytime a disagreement about an issue is had, ones illness...troubles...etc.. You don't cry foul, simply because people disagree with you. How is this not so very easy to understand...and separate from the validity of asking for advice...support...whatever.

Who the hell has said...or thought...that a blog about an illness..is...' bellyaching '??!! That is bullshit, and a way to garner sympathy for the areas it does NOT belong. Nice trying to make this into what it is not. Slimey. 

I will agree that it was outrageous for Susannah to call some of her ' friends ;, Jew haters. On that we can agree.

Clawing at people who disagrees with you, and then blaming them for your clawing them, because you are not well...how is that right...really, Moore...and I know she is a friend and that's great and all...but she has to take some responsibility for her actions...or stay to her blog and to picture threads...etc....she has no business in threads where opinions are thrown around, not if she is going to play victim when someone DISAGREES with her! I remember threads where there was nooooo talk of wars, or anything else of weight...and if more than one poster simply disagreed ( no hot sauce on it ), she climbed up on her cross and said ( liek I have already stated ), " oh, you are bashing me because I am Susannah ". We are talking about mundane topics! That is not ok, and I understand you not wanting to admit that, as she is your friend, but, come off it.

This is NOT about supporting someone in need. It is insulting that you make it about that. How dare you.

WE have to be on Candid Camera...cuz...this is flippin' insane.


----------



## mossystate

Fascinita said:


> This thread has made bullies some of the most chic, trendiest, most talked about members of this forum.
> 
> This thread makes me wish I had my own bully! :smitten:



With that ass, baby...you get a first edition bully!!!


And I am not talkin' about Kenny Rogers.

rawrrrr


----------



## Angel

Every once in a while I'll read a post that leaves me..... 


looking deep within myself.



I believe that each of us (as individuals) are a product of our past, of our present circumstances, and of the person we would like to be. We are all a work in progress.


We all have our flaws; our faults; our insecurities; our fears; the things that drive us nuts; and personalities that no matter how hard we try, irk us to no end. We've all been hurt; some are still hurting; we've all been victims; some haven't gotten over whatever has devastated them; some never will. Everyone grieves or mourns in a different way. There is no right or wrong way to work through pain, loss, grief, or mourning. 


Some have a support system. Others don't. Sometimes only those we associate with online truly understand. Sometimes I wonder where I would be if I wouldn't have found Dimensions when I did.


Each individual has cares, concerns, problems, issues, unresolved matters, and things from the past that creep back into our life when we least expect it. Some have family issues or marriage problems that may be ripping their hearts out. Some are not well and may be facing life altering futures. Some are mourning the future they dreamed of for so long but may never see come to pass. We honestly don't know what type of person we would be if we had to carry the cross that another person is burdened with. 


Maybe we should try to be more understanding and supportive of each other. 

_That_ can't hurt.


----------



## Shosh

Thank you so much Moore. You are one of my most special and treasured friends here. I thank you for your care and your understanding. You really understand the fear, staring all this in the face, as you are going through it yourself. I guess it is a big ask for others to understand.

Angel as always you are very thoughtful and have shown great insight into the lives of others. I appreciate your contributions here a great deal.

I appreciate the special space that I have here to talk, much like many Clubhouse members have with their blogs. They also speak of their lives and their fears etc as I do in my thread.
I do not post much in the Clubhouse anymore. It is just my preference to interact here on the main boards with everyone.

What I take away from all of this is that not everybody is going to like you. I have many friends here, so that is enough for me.
The others that wish to continue to deride me will continue to do so. I just have to block all that out and keep going.
I will continue to be a good friend, make many positive contributions, and to make a difference in the lives of others. That is my purpose.


----------



## Ernest Nagel

This thread has prompted me to go back and review some of the things I''ve learned about forgiveness over the years. It's a skill I've had much occasion to practice but admittedly have never come close to mastering. These two points seemed especially salient to me here:

_"The problem with revenge is that it never gets what it wants; it never evens the score. Fairness never comes. The chain reaction set off by every act of vengeance always takes its unhindered course. It ties both the injured and the injurer to an escalator of pain...Why do family feuds go on and on?...the reason is simple: no two people, no two families, ever weigh pain on the same scale."

Lewis B. Smedes - Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve"

You can forgive someone almost anything. But you cannot tolerate everything...We don't have to tolerate what people do just because we forgive them for doing it. Forgiving heals us personally. To tolerate everything only hurts us all in the long run."

Lewis B. Smedes - Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve_

And for anyone who cares to fling my own past transgressions in my face, feel free. All this "pot, meet kettle" self-justification is exactly what's keeping this thread alive, imo. You'd be helping make my point, even if you just think it. I forgive you anyway. :bow: :happy:


----------



## moniquessbbw

Mini said:


> Basically, if you're going to fuck me, fuck me. Don't bother buying me dinner first.



Hey I want dinner first.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

KHayes666 said:


> Holy crap, I'm gone for one day and the whole thread goes into a free for all.
> 
> We got the Zitkus family real and phony fighting with members, we got Shoshie battling people, we got Tony trying to play peacemaker.
> 
> We got us a.....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Since I was one of the first to post...I guess I'll vollunteer to draw number 1. Lets see if I can go coast to coast here.
> 
> Shoshie, I love ya but sometimes you need to take better care of your friends. Otherwise when you do get in battles with the bullies, you'll have no one there to back you up. If you don't know what I mean, PM me.
> 
> I've already said my piece about some of the bullies around here so no need repeating it.
> 
> Mathias....I myself am no stranger to low blows (Yankee fans have never forgiven me in the AOL chatroom for my Curse of Osama speech after they lost to the Diamondbacks in the world series) but sometimes you don't need to go low to do damage. I know this is the pot calling the kettle black but if someone hits you with a jab, you counter with a hook, not with a kick to the gut.
> 
> BGB.......I got nothin, proceed.
> 
> Beej.....I'll ask this again, what the hell does 191/1000 mean in your sig? Oh and the pic of the dude clapping, where is that from?
> 
> Tony....I hope you draw number 2 so we could gang up on number 3, which would probably be Andre the Giant, Great Khali, Big Show or some other monster that could tear us both apart individually :doh:
> 
> Lilly and Sandie....touche, you even had me fooled.
> 
> To those who say can't we all just get along, I wish we could but you can't have hero's without villains.
> 
> *backs self into the corner and waits for the next Rumble participant to join*




All this yack, yack.........yet you got NOTHING to say about cottage cheese.... 



Fascinita said:


> This thread has made bullies some of the most chic, trendiest, most talked about members of this forum.
> 
> This thread makes me wish I had my own bully! :smitten:



Your ass avatar traumatizes me anew each and every time I log in....I feel much better now that I have shared that with you.......



Angel said:


> Maybe we should try to be more understanding and supportive of each other.
> 
> _That_ can't hurt.



You know........I dislike some people here sometimes. They piss me off, offend me, hurt my feelings, say things they shouldn't, etc. 

And yeah....I'm the first one to say fuck 'em. 

However.....I grew up in a home with fighting....fighting over bullshit, fighting over stupidity that means NOTHING in the real scheme of the world and saw fights over the dinner table that could have ended up with people stabbing each other. 

I come here....and don't really have all that much "fight" in me anymore. I didn't hang out in Hyde Park though I did argue in a few threads on occasion. Most of my arguments tend to be over, what I perceive to be, "women's issues". 

Having fun here....it's very important to me. If this place stops being fun for me, I will leave. I have left two other past regular e-haunts for the same reason. It's how I think and operate. I never make a grand good bye cruel world post or thread....my time there just dwindles until I find another niche to spend my time in. 

I see nothing wrong with that- it's the way of the world. Things change...have had their run. Then it's time to move on....to new things that have yet to be explored. 

Some people find me annoying...I know that and can see why. That's okay. I have no issue with someone ignoring me....just as I can put someone else on ignore...and have. Putting people on ignore seems more adult than constantly bickering and fighting in thread after thread. Matter of fact, that's just plain rude/disruptive. 

I put William on ignore for that reason....I didn't want to keep bogging thread after thread with a e-fight with him because the man genuinely annoyed me and I felt the strong urge to mess with him/get under skin whenever the opportunity presented itself. 
In other words, William could push my button (and I noticed he did so with others- people who were simply tired of his shit) and I knew how to push his back. I'm sure people grew as weary of seeing people fight with William as some of us got of his repetitive, whiny posts in thread hi-jack after thread hi-jack. 

William....he hated it when I put him on ignore. I could see his posts to me whenever someone quoted him and noted that he was coming into threads to attempt to insult me. I confess that I gleaned satisfaction from that....that I could piss that man off with my simple presence and didn't have to say one word to him. Petty? Yes.....but that's how it was. 

We are all capable of being petty, childish, mean, petulant, etc. I think that over-all awareness and system of self-checks is important when dealing with other people. 

No one here is better than anyone else....and I think this place is important to so many people. That ideal should be respected and supported. 

So yeah, I agree with Angel- let's try harder to get along. Seeing all the fighting upsets me. I don't mean this post as an attempt to control the posting habits of others or as judgment to anyone's posts. It's not my place to do that....nor is it anyone elses.

We have no control over other people's feelings or thoughts....all we can control is ourselves.


----------



## Ruffie

Good post GEF and I agree with so much of what you have said. All we can control is ourselves and how we react to peoples nastiness and childish behavior defines who we are as people. I have chosen not to respond, confront, nor sling mud at those who I dislike here or have treated me unfairly in my opinion because it doesn't serve me. There comes a point where people do have to respond and I do it often in real life, but this is the internet and ultimately don't want to waste the energy I need to deal with the issues I must in my own life whether that be work and the difficult issues my clients deal with each day, friends and family and their difficulties or my own personal life.

I can argue and bring it when need be. Ask anyone that knows me well. Sure it hurts to be unfairly judged and talked about and I am not immune to that. However there are people out there that will never hear you whether you try and reason with them, make snide remarks, or out and out freak on their ass. So unless I get the sense that a person is ready to hear and absorb what is said to them I shake my head and like you say Fuck em. 
Ruth


----------



## Miss Vickie

Moore2Moore, I have one question for you: Just how sick does one person have to be before they're allowed to insult others without consequence? Because apparently thyroid cancer and pulmonary Sarcoidosis aren't enough, so I'm just wondering, _how sick do I have to get,_ before it's okay? 

Oh, and I have a second question. I learned a lot about healing and health in nursing school and not once did it say anywhere that making ad hominem attacks helped with MS or any other illness. So please enlighten me, just exactly how does calling someone an anti-semite make that person feel better? Because, frankly, I can't see it. If anything, knowing what I know about health and illness, engaging in discussions of this kind when one has an illness is about the worst thing you can do. Stress debilitates the immune system, something I have learned from personal experience.

I have nothing but empathy for anyone battling any illness, whether they be Dimensions member or not. I went into nursing because I care about others. But one of the things I learned in nursing is that you have to set boundaries or else we become part of the problem, and eventually experience pathology as well, whether it be psychosocial or physiological. My particular boundary with people is that when they insult me -- directly or indirectly, and she's insulted me directly, in this very thread, by saying I don't care about the Israeli people -- I defend myself. That's my bottom line, one I've come to after years of therapy from being abused. I don't care what went on with her and Mossy, or anyone else for that matter. But I'm defending myself against what I feel is unfair treatment. Calling me a Jew hater and an anti-semite because I feel directing attacks toward innocent Palestinian people is over the top.

So if that makes me a bully, the fact that I won't give her a "pass" because she's sick and yet well enough to engage in debate, then so be it. I'm a bully. I've been called worse -- in this very thread, and elsewhere on Dimensions.


----------



## daddyoh70

LisaInNC said:


> Ok I was going to try and read all the posts, but I decided I would rather masturbate with a cheese grater. You are all fucking douchenozzles.
> The End





cinnamitch said:


> psst, um id use a vibrator if i was you.


Either one would be less painful than reading all the post in this thread. This thread should come with a warning. "Attempts to read all posts in this thread will result in parts of your life you will never get back" Depending on how much longer this thread is open, I may be headed out to buy a vibrator and a cheese grater. And keep in mind, I'm a male. And apparently a douchenozzle



Fascinita said:


> This thread has made bullies some of the most chic, trendiest, most talked about members of this forum.
> 
> This thread makes me wish I had my own bully! :smitten:



Shut up and gimme yer lunch money before I sock you one!


----------



## wrestlingguy

*The ONLY way to settle this once and for all.​*


----------



## tonynyc

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> You know........I dislike some people here sometimes. They piss me off, offend me, hurt my feelings, say things they shouldn't, etc.
> 
> And yeah....I'm the first one to say fuck 'em.
> 
> However.....I grew up in a home with fighting....fighting over bullshit, fighting over stupidity that means NOTHING in the real scheme of the world and saw fights over the dinner table that could have ended up with people stabbing each other.
> 
> I come here....and don't really have all that much "fight" in me anymore. I didn't hang out in Hyde Park though I did argue in a few threads on occasion. Most of my arguments tend to be over, what I perceive to be, "women's issues".
> 
> Having fun here....it's very important to me. If this place stops being fun for me, I will leave. I have left two other past regular e-haunts for the same reason. It's how I think and operate. I never make a grand good bye cruel world post or thread....my time there just dwindles until I find another niche to spend my time in.
> 
> I see nothing wrong with that- it's the way of the world. Things change...have had their run. Then it's time to move on....to new things that have yet to be explored.
> 
> Some people find me annoying...I know that and can see why. That's okay. I have no issue with someone ignoring me....just as I can put someone else on ignore...and have. Putting people on ignore seems more adult than constantly bickering and fighting in thread after thread. Matter of fact, that's just plain rude/disruptive.
> 
> I put William on ignore for that reason....I didn't want to keep bogging thread after thread with a e-fight with him because the man genuinely annoyed me and I felt the strong urge to mess with him/get under skin whenever the opportunity presented itself.
> In other words, William could push my button (and I noticed he did so with others- people who were simply tired of his shit) and I knew how to push his back. I'm sure people grew as weary of seeing people fight with William as some of us got of his repetitive, whiny posts in thread hi-jack after thread hi-jack.
> 
> William....he hated it when I put him on ignore. I could see his posts to me whenever someone quoted him and noted that he was coming into threads to attempt to insult me. I confess that I gleaned satisfaction from that....that I could piss that man off with my simple presence and didn't have to say one word to him. Petty? Yes.....but that's how it was.
> 
> We are all capable of being petty, childish, mean, petulant, etc. I think that over-all awareness and system of self-checks is important when dealing with other people.
> 
> No one here is better than anyone else....and I think this place is important to so many people. That ideal should be respected and supported.
> 
> So yeah, I agree with Angel- let's try harder to get along. Seeing all the fighting upsets me. I don't mean this post as an attempt to control the posting habits of others or as judgment to anyone's posts. It's not my place to do that....nor is it anyone elses.
> 
> We have no control over other people's feelings or thoughts....all we can control is ourselves.



Why Greenie- I thought you and William were "chummy chummy". Now admit it - you wimmen miss that Dimmer that makes you all steamy and Mad.Maybe his Avatar can be the rallying Flag for this Thread. Suprized that that we haven't had a free for all for rights to use that bad boy....

I bet you were laughing when you put that ignore button on- you sly one 
*** That can piss some folks off to now end. 
I honestly look forward to meeting you one day ( I think you are one of the funniest women here) - having great humor & wit is a wonderful quality - I look forward to reading your post... There are times that I almost pee in my pants laughing - like oh shit she didn't say that..... 

You are right we are all capable of many things - sometimes despite our hardships it makes us stronger and better persons, sometimes not. And yes. we are not all going to get along ... Life is not perfect...We can only make our DIms experience what we want it to be...




KHayes666 said:


> Holy crap, I'm gone for one day and the whole thread goes into a free for all.
> 
> We got the Zitkus family real and phony fighting with members, we got Shoshie battling people, we got Tony trying to play peacemaker.
> 
> We got us a.....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Since I was one of the first to post...I guess I'll vollunteer to draw number 1. Lets see if I can go coast to coast here.
> 
> Shoshie, I love ya but sometimes you need to take better care of your friends. Otherwise when you do get in battles with the bullies, you'll have no one there to back you up. If you don't know what I mean, PM me.
> 
> I've already said my piece about some of the bullies around here so no need repeating it.
> 
> Mathias....I myself am no stranger to low blows (Yankee fans have never forgiven me in the AOL chatroom for my Curse of Osama speech after they lost to the Diamondbacks in the world series) but sometimes you don't need to go low to do damage. I know this is the pot calling the kettle black but if someone hits you with a jab, you counter with a hook, not with a kick to the gut.
> 
> BGB.......I got nothin, proceed.
> 
> Beej.....I'll ask this again, what the hell does 191/1000 mean in your sig? Oh and the pic of the dude clapping, where is that from?
> 
> Tony....I hope you draw number 2 so we could gang up on number 3, which would probably be Andre the Giant, Great Khali, Big Show or some other monster that could tear us both apart individually :doh:
> 
> Lilly and Sandie....touche, you even had me fooled.
> 
> To those who say can't we all just get along, I wish we could but you can't have hero's without villains.
> 
> *backs self into the corner and waits for the next Rumble participant to join*



Kevin: I see myself more along the role of special enforcer ( Like Sonny King - former WWWF Tag Team Champion with then partner of fake Indian - Frank 'Chief Jay Strongbow' Scarpa and Judo Gene LeBell)... 

Sonny and Gene had this rule...

"You don't follow the script in the ring and these gentleman were more than happy to make it a 'shoot' and you break a few legs. 

In the Verbal equivalent: nothing wrong given someone a "Verbal Smackdown" - it's the ultimate form of love (no sense having internal stress and letting things builds up) - and you took the time to show some love and to curse the crap out of someone... 

----------------------------------

Now Kevin we do need some additions to the list...

Other notable cast.. (more to follow later)

Some may not have wrestling references- others are MASH characters - we do have Maj. Winchester and Maj. Hotlips as noted earlier

_*** other Wrestling additions (more to be added later) ***_

*All the Mods ( The Regional Wrestling Promoters)*
*Conrad ( The Big Chief ) like Vince McMahon Jr. - "Legendary" Promoters: Ed "Strangler Lewis", Toots Mondt*

*Wrestlingguy* limited involvement in this Rumble-but I repeat very very dangerous along the lines of Promoter: Dana White UFC- Dangerous Shooters & Technicians like : Kurt Angle and Stone Cold Steve Austin [ note all these individuals have something in common with Phil. They are all clean shaven, quiet, deadly, bad motherfuckers- they will rip your fucking heart out "Verbally" speaking of course)... 

*Ernest* (not a villian)-but very educated and the Poet Laureate of this Thread along the lines of the Poet Laureate of Wrestling Leaping Lanny Poffo.
I love reading his post - and the way he expresses himself.

*Mini* (he's tall) that is an intimidation factor- size always is - along the lines of The Undertaker... 

Now Kevin You also left out our two lovely ladies Tracii and Moss... that was very selfish of you...this will be devoted to them... 

I envision them as the Wrestling Equivalent of Slicked Hair Mgr. Bobby Davis ( the predecessors of such Bady Boy Mgr. as:The Grand Wizard and Bobby "The Weasal" Heenan) & The Muscle "Gorilla Monsoon"....

Some history- in 1964 Bobby Davis the Mgr. of the original Nature Boy of wrestling Buddy Rogers. After Rogers was defeated by Bruno Sammartino, He then became the Mgr. of Gorilla Monsoon...The grunting Manchurain Giant

Sidenote- in the 1990s-Scott "Poppa Pump" Steiner made loving reference to Rick Flair that he was a "Sorry old bastard and that The Real Nature Boy, the deceased Buddy Rogers,was more of a wrestler than Flair would ever be." WHOOOO

As stated earlier, Gorilla Monsoon 'Gino Marella" was the Muscle.
Most of the time he just *"Grunted*" simple sentences wouldn't say much of anything ;but, an amazing thing happened in 1967... 
The Gorilla Spoke! Yes! I'm not BSing you- the man actually spoke... Full amazing, wonderful flowing paragraphs. Made you fucking cry...I look at old covers of the magazines of the time, the sweet face of Gorilla Moonsoon and envision what it was like to look at the TV set and hear him speak - shit I'm getting all teary eyed thinking about it    

*** Now I present ***

*Tracii *as our "Bobby Davis/Bobby Heenan" 
*Mossy* as "Gorilla Monsoon". 











_vintage Gino Marella (The Gorilla Speaks)_

*Since this is a Bullying Forum- what better way to show the love than to steal another man's Gif *






( I think Orson looks quite at home-don't you)

*Bravo- Kevin - Bravo (Good Job) *

*I'm off to the gym and in the words of Mick Foley ( to all the Bullies, Nasty Folks etc. )*

*Watch the foul language -HAVE A NICE FUCKING DAY !!!*


----------



## tonynyc

wrestlingguy said:


> *The ONLY way to settle this once and for all.​*



*As the true Wrestling visionary that you are ....
Along with the Rumble can we have Tornado Tag team and Lights Out Matches... ( the lights out Match did wonders for Koko B Ware) 

Question: how the hell did that guy ever get into the Wrestling HOF ?....
*


----------



## DeniseW

I'm wondering how long this thread will be allowed to continue until Conrad gets his answer...


----------



## cinnamitch

DeniseW said:


> I'm wondering how long this thread will be allowed to continue until Conrad gets his answer...


 
I give it a year , tops.


----------



## Webmaster

DeniseW said:


> I'm wondering how long this thread will be allowed to continue until Conrad gets his answer...



I have my answer.  Just not entirely sure yet how to apply the findings but I have some ideas.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Webmaster said:


> I have my answer.  Just not entirely sure yet how to apply the findings but I have some ideas.



I think there should be an outlaw and an inlaw list. The outlaw list for people who engage in random acts of gratuitous bullying and the inlaw list for those who feel they are bullying on behalf of truth, justice and the American way.


----------



## bigsexy920

When, when will it end?


People can be mean - that is clear, myself included. I don't think that I have been a bully - I think that at times I have been mean. I think too often people are so hell bent on being "RIGHT" that they forget to realize that there is an actually person on the receiving end of what you are saying. Some times maybe it should be more important about doing whats right than being RIGHT. 

No one wants to see themselves as a bad person so when accused of being a bully or mean we would tend to go on the defensive - defending our actions till the death as if its an act of survival. 

We are all human - no one is perfect we should try looking at more positive things about the people we may dislike and maybe that would help us to realize that they are human just like you, not without fault but always with something to offer.


----------



## cinnamitch

bigsexy920 said:


> When, when will it end?



Feb. 31, 2039


----------



## mergirl

About 5 pages have passed since i last saw this thread. So who got the cake?


----------



## steely

mergirl said:


> About 5 pages have passed since i last saw this thread. So who got the cake?



I got coconut cake for my anniversary last night! 

View attachment cake.jpg


----------



## LillyBBBW

mergirl said:


> About 5 pages have passed since i last saw this thread. So who got the cake?



I had vanilla bean cheesecake at dinner last night.


----------



## mossystate

mergirl said:


> About 5 pages have passed since i last saw this thread. So who got the cake?



I had popsicles.



Santaclear should be ashamed.


----------



## mergirl

steely said:


> I got coconut cake for my anniversary last night!





LillyBBBW said:


> I had vanilla bean cheesecake at dinner last night.



Niiiice! :eat2:


----------



## mergirl

mossystate said:


> I had popsicles.
> 
> 
> 
> Santaclear should be ashamed.



Yeah, thats just not good enough is it! Its like when on 'come diner with me' they give you fruit for pudding! GRRRRRRRRRR!


----------



## mergirl

Webmaster said:


> I have my answer.  Just not entirely sure yet how to apply the findings but I have some ideas.



I think in true Dimensions style the 'Bullies' should get made to do 'The truffle shuffle' and the 'victims' should get a belly rub to make them feel better. 
Wink Wink!


----------



## tonynyc

LillyBBBW said:


> I think there should be an outlaw and an inlaw list. The outlaw list for people who engage in random acts of gratuitous bullying and the inlaw list for those who feel they are bullying on behalf of truth, justice and the American way.









*Do participants get a Free Hulk Hogan grill?*


----------



## StarWitness

It is my sincere hope that this thread gets more replies than "Your skinniest and fattest pics."


----------



## tonynyc

StarWitness said:


> It is my sincere hope that this thread gets more replies than "Your skinniest and fattest pics."



And yet we wonder.... who is Radar?.....


----------



## rainyday

Webmaster said:


> I have my answer.  Just not entirely sure yet how to apply the findings but I have some ideas.



Shit stirrer. Your original post should be reported!


----------



## rainyday

Also, could we please have a fresh, clean, special smiley to be designated as "The Non-Passive Aggressive Smiley"?


----------



## imfree

FCC Part 15 Notice
This equipment generates, uses, and can radiate radio frequency energy and, if not installed and used in accordance with the manufacturer's instruction manual, may cause interference with radio and television reception. This equipment has been tested and found to comply with the limits for a Class B digital device pursuant to Part 15 of the FCC Rules.

This device complies with Part 15 of the FCC Rules. Operation is subject to the following two conditions:
1) This device may not cause harmful interference.
2) This device must accept any interference received, including interference
that may cause undesired operation.

DimmerLand Part 15 Notice

This poster creates, uses, and can post material that 
may provoke disagreement.

This poster complies with Part 15 DimmerLand Rules. Posting is subject
to the following two conditions:
1) The post may not cause harmful provocation.
2) The poster must accept any criticism without escalation
of said criticism into a personal conflict with another poster.

:doh: Eeew! If they pass that one, I'll be banned, for sure.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Chief, can we have a smiley with a middle finger salute? It would save me tons of time.


----------



## tonynyc

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Chief, can we have a smiley with a middle finger salute? It would save me tons of time.



*You forgot my fav phrase.....*


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

tonynyc said:


> *You forgot my fav phrase.....*



Bite Me Tony!


----------



## Tarella

Hi Conrad, 

Thanks for the great article. The article explains forum bullies in an excellent way. I for one have stopped posting here except for the rare occasion because of forum bullies and cliques. It is a shame that there have been many posters who have left or stay reading but lurking only because of the forum bullies that frequent here. Bullies come in all shapes, sizes, and genders. 

Thanks for the article.

Sincerely, Tara


----------



## BarbBBW

mergirl said:


> I think in true Dimensions style the 'Bullies' should get made to do 'The truffle shuffle' and the 'victims' should get a belly rub to make them feel better.
> Wink Wink!



Ok so thats my cue to scream "VICTIM HERE" mmmmm all in the name of belly rubs!:bow:


----------



## KHayes666

If this was an elimination chamber, I'd probably spear Wrestlingguy through one of the cells and execute a jackhammer on Tony on the steel grate outside of the ring.

Since I refuse to hit women unless they're pointing a gun or knife at me, my only defense would be to low bridge them when they bounce off the ropes so they crash into the ground.

*backs into a corner, awaits the next cell to open*

10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1.......


----------



## tonynyc

KHayes666 said:


> If this was an elimination chamber, I'd probably spear Wrestlingguy through one of the cells and execute a jackhammer on Tony on the steel grate outside of the ring.
> 
> Since I refuse to hit women unless they're pointing a gun or knife at me, my only defense would be to low bridge them when they bounce off the ropes so they crash into the ground.
> 
> *backs into a corner, awaits the next cell to open*
> 
> 10
> 9
> 8
> 7
> 6
> 5
> 4
> 3
> 2
> 1.......



It's on ... Can "Dr. D" join the battle?- His meeting with John Stossel is over...


----------



## Surlysomething

I'm trying to figure out how wrestling fits in this thread in any way...


----------



## Mini

Surlysomething said:


> I'm trying to figure out how wrestling fits in this thread in any way...



Bullies = Heels
Bullies who happen to be wrestling fans/nerds = "Heels"


Clear as mud?


----------



## Surlysomething

Mini said:


> Bullies = Heels
> Bullies who happen to be wrestling fans/nerds = "Heels"
> 
> 
> Clear as mud?




Haha. Crystal.


----------



## tonynyc

Mini said:


> Bullies = Heels
> Bullies who happen to be wrestling fans/nerds = "Heels"
> 
> 
> Clear as mud?



We've also had the best thread 'Dusty Rhodes" finish ever courtesy of LillyBBW and Sandie (they had so many folks fooled on that) It was a nice ... 

I'm not sure if the Sandie vs. Mathias fued was real or kayfabe... But don't be mistaken the other battles are for real...

And Mini aren't you "The Undertaker" in this Rumble


----------



## Mini

tonynyc said:


> We've also had the best thread 'Dusty Rhodes" finish ever courtesy of LillyBBW and Sandie (they had so many folks fooled on that) It was a nice ...
> 
> I'm not sure if the Sandie vs. Mathias fued was real or kayfabe... But don't be mistaken the other battles are for real...
> 
> And Mini aren't you "The Undertaker" in this Rumble



Of course! I never lose despite my increasingly worn-out welcome.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Surlysomething said:


> I'm trying to figure out how wrestling fits in this thread in any way...



The same way canklegate did.....you were willing to discuss that


----------



## Surlysomething

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> The same way canklegate did.....you were willing to discuss that




Really? I can see why bullying would apply to canklegate, but not to wrestling.

Thanks for your input though.


----------



## Sugar

Miss Vickie said:


> Susannah, don't you ever get tired of playing the victim card? Like, EVER? I have no problem with anyone disagreeing with me. Hell, I've had WLS and have had to put up with no _end_ of abuse, but at least I'll defend myself and my choices and not get the vapors when anyone is "mean" to me. I've been called a slut and a whore, a traitor to size acceptance, a sexual deviant who should not be able to help women in childbirth, and the list goes on. I've been insulted directly and indirectly for the decade or so I've been part of this site, by people whose words literally brought me to tears. I stood up and took my lumps, and gave back as good as I got (sometimes even better!)
> 
> But what I have never done, despite all of the trauma and abuse in my life, despite the pain and illness and fear of -- yes -- death, is played victim. I have never ever said that people "had to" be nice to me because I'm "unwell". What I've done when I felt that I wasn't able to participate in discussions, whether because of weakness, illness or just being busy, is not engage. But what you do is engage in discussion, call names (yes, _you_ called us anti-semites, that was _you_, merely because we thought maybe it wasn't nice to kill Palestinian *children*) and then suddenly become weak and play the victim. You're either a victim because you're Jewish and we hate Jews (so very NOT true -- my husband's father and half his family are Jews) or because you're sick. But you are never, ever, to blame.
> 
> Well, I get that you're sick. I feel horribly for you, that you have to endure a largely untreatable condition that is debilitating. I have a similar disease that could easily progress the same way; it's eating my lungs, bit by bit, and someday I could be on oxygen, or a ventilator, or worse when my lungs are no longer able to inflate at all. I have cancer, on top of it all, which could also kill me. But what I won't do is play the victim, because I'm not. And neither are you.
> 
> If you're too sick to engage in debate, then... well... don't. It's that simple. But if you call me an anti-semite, or any other name in the book, be ready to hear about it. And you will continue to hear about it until you have the ovaries to apologize. Because saying Palestinian children should die is fucking MEAN, Susannah, and my saying so makes me nothing more than an advocate for children. _*All*_ children. Even the brown eyed, brown skinned ones you don't seem to care about.
> 
> That's all I have to say. No doubt you'll put me on ignore and I'll hear all about it. If that's what you have to do to take care of yourself, then great. But I won't put you on ignore and I will continue to call you on your bullshit.



This a thousand times.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Surlysomething said:


> Really? I can see why bullying would apply to canklegate, but not to wrestling.
> 
> Thanks for your input though.



Thanks for trying to control everyone in the thread.....


----------



## Mini

Ladies, please, save it for the blood pool.


----------



## Surlysomething

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Thanks for trying to control everyone in the thread.....




Haha. I want the thread to stay on topic, that's all i've ever wanted. You made your point that you come here to have fun, so why are you concerned? If you have an issue with me i'd suggest you block me.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Sure will if that's the only way to stop your surliness.

You are fine with making random off topic comments if it suits you....but why does it get your goad to see people having fun? You have been making comments for two days...and people aren't hurting you or anyone else. 

I could see your point if I hadn't seen you in other threads saying whatever it is you want to say...in whatever direction the thread went.


P.S. Why don't you put some people on ignore


----------



## Mini

Surlysomething said:


> Haha. I want the thread to stay on topic, that's all i've ever wanted. You made your point that you come here to have fun, so why are you concerned? If you have an issue with me i'd suggest you block me.



I don't know about you, but after 23 fuckin' pages I'm not sure how on-topic we can possibly be at this point. This chick's a cunt, that guy's an asshole, we all hate each other and I still like tits and nudity. What more needs to be said?


----------



## Sugar

Mini said:


> I don't know about you, but after 23 fuckin' pages I'm not sure how on-topic we can possibly be at this point. This chick's a cunt, that guy's an asshole, we all hate each other and I still like tits and nudity. What more needs to be said?



Tip your servers?


----------



## Surlysomething

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Sure will if that's the only way to stop your surliness.
> 
> You are fine with making random off topic comments if it suits you....but why does it get your goad to see people having fun? You have been making comments for two days...and people aren't hurting you or anyone else.
> 
> I could see your point if I hadn't seen you in other threads saying whatever it is you want to say...in whatever direction the thread went.
> 
> 
> P.S. Why don't you put some people on ignore



It wasn't even a nasty comment. But again, thanks for your input. Haha.

Way to go trying to perpetuate the bullshit.


----------



## Mini

Lucky said:


> Tip your servers?



Spay your wife and neuter your children.


----------



## Paquito

You know it's bad when even GEF is pulling on the boxing gloves.

If this thread wasn't so hot, I'd just have to stay out of it.

FILL UP THE BLOOD POOL!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

free2beme04 said:


> You know it's bad when even GEF is pulling on the boxing gloves.
> 
> If this thread wasn't so hot, I'd just have to stay out of it.
> 
> FILL UP THE BLOOD POOL!



Lol, that wasn't boxing


----------



## Sugar

Mini said:


> Spay your wife and neuter your children.



That beats the hell out of "Go back to *fill in southern state* where you belong!"


----------



## Mini

Lucky said:


> That beats the hell out of "Go back to *fill in southern state* where you belong!"



I wouldn't wish Texas on my worst enemy.


----------



## Sugar

Mini said:


> I wouldn't wish Texas on my worst enemy.



I might wish Texas on Arkansas if I were going thru a sugar low...thinning the herd.


----------



## Surlysomething

Mini said:


> I don't know about you, but after 23 fuckin' pages I'm not sure how on-topic we can possibly be at this point. This chick's a cunt, that guy's an asshole, we all hate each other and I still like tits and nudity. What more needs to be said?




So basically anything goes is what your saying. My question stands.

I guess I should have posted a picture of something totally unrelated though to give it some merit.


----------



## cinnamitch

Mini said:


> I don't know about you, but after 23 fuckin' pages I'm not sure how on-topic we can possibly be at this point. This chick's a cunt, that guy's an asshole, we all hate each other and I still like tits and nudity. What more needs to be said?



Cheese graters and Vibrators . nuff said


----------



## Mini

Surlysomething said:


> So basically anything goes is what your saying. My question stands.
> 
> I guess I should have posted a picture of something totally unrelated though to give it some merit.



Well, yes. Threads are organic. So long as discussion is sparked, who cares if it deviates from the original topic? The mods are here for a reason; if they felt things were hinky I'm sure they would have told us to save it for another thread.


----------



## rainyday

This is the second time complaints about thread derailment have DERAILED THE THREAD for pages at a time. It's kind of funny.


----------



## Sugar

Surlysomething said:


> So basically anything goes is what your saying. My question stands.
> 
> I guess I should have posted a picture of something totally unrelated though to give it some merit.



It seems to me that the vast majority of us that have followed this thread have very strong feelings about Dims. For a lot of us it's been a saving grace. 

In the face of such strong emotions...wouldn't most people want to laugh a little and call it even? There are going to be those who will fight until they are no more *think the knight in Holy Grail* but for most people the comic relief has taken something pretty serious and upsetting and calmed it down. 

Is that so terrible? Is it bad to let the mods play the role of hall monitor and enjoy the thread for what it is...airing of grievances and some people trying to lighten the mood. After all we're not condoning the death of children in Texas.


----------



## tonynyc

free2beme04 said:


> You know it's bad when even GEF is pulling on the boxing gloves.
> 
> If this thread wasn't so hot, I'd just have to stay out of it.
> 
> FILL UP THE BLOOD POOL!



Sucks doesn't it .. the fate of our poor Paysite Board 

*Greenie vs. Surly aka 'Maj Houlihan' *

*That is hot- I have yet to give a wonderful loving nickname to Greenie*

Where the hell is Maj. Winchester? (you have to read a few postings up to get the answer- I'm not going to make it easy and give it to you here)


----------



## Surlysomething

Mini said:


> The mods are here for a reason; if they felt things were hinky I'm sure they would have told us to save it for another thread.



You think a lot more highly of the mods than I do. I'm of the belief that there ARE different rules for different people around here.


----------



## Surlysomething

tonynyc said:


> Sucks doesn't it .. the fate of our poor Paysite Board
> 
> *Greenie vs. Surly aka 'Maj Houlihan' *
> 
> *That is hot- I have yet to give a wonderful loving nickname to Greenie*
> 
> Where the hell is Maj. Winchester? (you have to read a few postings up to get the answer- I'm not going to make it easy and give it to you here)




You don't even know me yet you continue to reference me in some way. Is there a reason for that or are you just an asshole?


----------



## tonynyc

tsk tsk foul language - sorry to hear that your an asshole


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Asshole counts as filthy language, I assume


----------



## Mini

Surlysomething said:


> You think a lot more highly of the mods than I do. I'm of the belief that there ARE different rules for different people around here.



And here it is, the real reason you're pissed. Was that so hard?


----------



## tonynyc

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Asshole counts as filthy language, I assume



that's 20 fucking demerits for you :wubu:


----------



## mossystate

Lucky said:


> Tip your servers?



I'd rather trip them.

That's just me.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

tonynyc said:


> that's 20 fucking demerits for you :wubu:



Do I get punished now? :batting:


----------



## Surlysomething

Mini said:


> And here it is, the real reason you're pissed. Was that so hard?



You've never talked to me before yet you believe you know what i'm thinking.

Go try belittle someone else.


----------



## Sugar

mossystate said:


> I'd rather trip them.
> 
> That's just me.



I hope you do it with your fat leg. :wubu:


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Tony I'd ask who I am - but we all know I'm Captain Lou Albano. 





tonynyc said:


> Sucks doesn't it .. the fate of our poor Paysite Board
> 
> *Greenie vs. Surly aka 'Maj Houlihan' *
> 
> *That is hot- I have yet to give a wonderful loving nickname to Greenie*
> 
> Where the hell is Maj. Winchester? (you have to read a few postings up to get the answer- I'm not going to make it easy and give it to you here)


----------



## Mini

Surlysomething said:


> You've never talked to me before yet you believe you know what i'm thinking.
> 
> Go try belittle someone else.



You're right, I don't know you for shit. And I've got to say, if you get your twat in a knot over this thread, you probably wouldn't get along all that well with me anyway. I bid you adieu and add you to my ignore list. Cheers!


----------



## Surlysomething

Haha. And he wonders why he never gets laid.


----------



## mossystate

Lucky said:


> I hope you do it with your fat leg. :wubu:




It's always about fat with you, isn't it.

Just thank me for not mentioning wrestlers. That deserves a couple of boxes of popsicles. :blush:

------
Sexual frustration for the win?


----------



## Sugar

mossystate said:


> It's always about fat with you, isn't it.
> 
> Just thank me for not mentioning wrestlers. That deserves a couple of boxes of popsicles. :blush:
> 
> ------
> Sexual frustration for the win?



The ONLY reason I talk to you is because you're PLUMPY...duh.

I can't ship you frozen treats, but I can hurl insults at you and blame my RA if you want? Finger cramp? :happy:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Would you accept a frozen corndog, Lucky, if Monique is out of popsicles?


----------



## tonynyc

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Do I get punished now? :batting:



*Later Greenie Later* 




Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Tony I'd ask who I am - but we all know I'm Captain Lou Albano.



*You are no Capt. Albano - shit you and Wayne are the Baddest Mutherfuckin Mixed Unified World Tag Team Champions of this thread- All u need is the Tag Team Belt....*

*
And.. fans wan to know the whole Mathias fued "kafaybe" or "real" 
I want an answer and not a double drop kick 
*

Now with all that has happended I know for sure that Radar whoever he is will stay in hiding


----------



## Sugar

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Would you accept a frozen corndog, Lucky, if Monique is out of popsicles?



I won't have you bully me into taking a corndog when I clearly said I want a lime fruit bar!


----------



## mossystate

Lucky said:


> I can't ship you frozen treats, but I can hurl insults at you and blame my RA if you want? Finger cramp? :happy:



Like you don't already fill my PM box with such whines?!



Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Would you accept a frozen corndog, Lucky, if Monique is out of popsicles?



Yeah...what she said...I have a neverending supply of frozen treats. Some of my corndogs were left by previous tenants.

:happy:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Lucky said:


> I won't have you bully me into taking a corndog when I clearly said I want a lime fruit bar!




Is that a big.......lime bar, by chance? If it is....you're going to have to share...


----------



## tonynyc

Mini said:


> And here it is, the real reason you're pissed. Was that so hard?



Art imitates life Maj. Houlihan was always pissy about something ....


----------



## Surlysomething

tonynyc said:


> Art imitates life Maj. Houlihan was always pissy about something ....



I would encourage you to put me on ignore as you clearly do not like me.

Thanks. That would be a win for both of us,


----------



## tonynyc

Surlysomething said:


> I would encourage you to put me on ignore as you clearly do not like me.
> 
> Thanks. That would be a win for both of us,



Well that would make for a cliffs-note version of this thread .. 
Ignore/Not Ignore the choice is yours....


----------



## fatgirlflyin

I'd do him. 

Just sayin


Surlysomething said:


> Haha. And he wonders why he never gets laid.


----------



## Captain Save

The OP said he had his answer quite a while back, and this thread is nearing the one thousand post mark. I have no quarrel with anyone here, but I have to ask myself: is it out of morbid curiosity to want to know where we go from here, to want to know what consequences might befall anyone who fits the forum bully profile? 

The thought has occurred to me to simply be patient, of course.


----------



## Surlysomething

fatgirlflyin said:


> I'd do him.
> 
> Just sayin



i'm SO* not *standing in your way, girlie.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Personally, I'd like to see this thread degenerate to S & M - but that's me.


----------



## Surlysomething

tonynyc said:


> Well that would make for a cliffs-note version of this thread ..
> Ignore/Not Ignore the choice is yours....




Then do me a favour and be respectable and quit talking to me.


----------



## tonynyc

Captain Save said:


> The OP said he had his answer quite a while back, and this thread is nearing the one thousand post mark. I have no quarrel with anyone here, but I have to ask myself: is it out of morbid curiosity to want to know where we go from here, to want to know what consequences might befall anyone who fits the forum bully profile?
> 
> The thought has occurred to me to simply be patient, of course.



Well Save: to paraphrase ... Roddy Piper 

"Just when you think you know the Answer- I'll change the Question" 

It will be interesting to hear what is finally said- I hope that this has not been some sort of "Doctoral Dissertation on The Current Status of Social Networks"....

But.. here's another thing folks still interact in other parts of the boards and for the most part things seem to be quiet there...


----------



## tonynyc

Surlysomething said:


> Then do me a favour and be respectable and quit talking to me.



Suits me fine


----------



## KHayes666

Am I the only one who has never in his life put someone on ignore? I've been banned, blocked, deleted and ignored by thouands of forum/chatroom/myspace/facebook posters for 10 plus years and never once have I ignored anyone that's not a spam bot.

Why?

By ignoring someone you lose sight of what that person is saying in all the threads he/she posts in. This person could be insulting you, could be saying something useful that could change your opinion or could be insulting a friend of yours....and you would have no idea.

I think I may have deleted one person off my friends list in 3 plus years of myspace/facebook and only because that person was a really annoying, useless nazi that wouldn't shut up for two seconds. 

That's just me though, never a fan of the ignore feature....you miss out on some good stuff sometimes lol


----------



## moore2me

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Personally, I'd like to see this thread degenerate to S & M - but that's me.



I second the S & M Thread conversion. Can we see a show of hands for those that approve the motion?

If you are wearing handcuffs and cannot raise you hands at the time, use your best effort at signaling your approval.


----------



## tonynyc

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Personally, I'd like to see this thread degenerate to S & M - but that's me.



*Happy Now  You and Wayne now have the Tag Team Titles. Defend the Belts proudly...*


----------



## KHayes666

tonynyc said:


> *Happy Now  You and Wayne now have the Tag Team Titles. Defend the Belts proudly...*



Bah!






Clearly you forget about the Dims Forums *TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD*

_*Blaze N Haze*_


----------



## Captain Save

tonynyc said:


> Well Save: to paraphrase ... Roddy Piper
> 
> "Just when you think you know the Answer- I'll change the Question"
> 
> It will be interesting to hear what is finally said- I hope that this has not been some sort of "Doctoral Dissertation on The Current Status of Social Networks"....
> 
> But.. here's another thing folks still interact in other parts of the boards and for the most part things seem to be quiet there...



There's definitely enough material here to produce such a dissertation, although it would be rather disappointing for a lot of the participants; there's a lot of emotional investment in this thread. Also, if the other boards are relatively quiet, the focus might change to the elements of the more ill-behaved boards, and the question of elimination might also become a real concern to those of us who enjoy those boards. Hyde Park, despite its reputation, was enjoyed by more than a few people...


----------



## Wagimawr

i can has "THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS" meme?


----------



## KHayes666

LIVIIN....AFTER MIDNIGHT....*points to the clock* Everybody sing along!


----------



## tonynyc

KHayes666 said:


> Am I the only one who has never in his life put someone on ignore? I've been banned, blocked, deleted and ignored by thouands of forum/chatroom/myspace/facebook posters for 10 plus years and never once have I ignored anyone that's not a spam bot.
> 
> Why?
> 
> By ignoring someone you lose sight of what that person is saying in all the threads he/she posts in. This person could be insulting you, could be saying something useful that could change your opinion or could be insulting a friend of yours....and you would have no idea.
> 
> I think I may have deleted one person off my friends list in 3 plus years of myspace/facebook and only because that person was a really annoying, useless nazi that wouldn't shut up for two seconds.
> 
> That's just me though, never a fan of the ignore feature....you miss out on some good stuff sometimes lol




Good Question Kevin:

If I can relate to a personal Dims moment...

As I once told the beloved and widely admired Cardezee1...
I asked (Well Jack asked) if he was sure he could handle the task.. He said "Yes" in his search for that special BBW. All he wanted was a Pear Shaped SSBBW woman to appreciate his warmth AND compassion.

In the end,he couldn't. He failed miserably and sadly to the regret of many women here (particularly the pear shaped ones) he was Banned... 

And so that same applies to your statement as well..

_ "Some folks cannot handle the good stuff" _ :bow:


----------



## tonynyc

KHayes666 said:


> Bah!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Clearly you forget about the Dims Forums *TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD*
> 
> _*Blaze N Haze*_



Yes I clearly forgot the Wrestling Protocol :doh: shame on me


----------



## BarbBBW

wow i go out for some drinks with a girlfriend and i missed 5 pages? how does this happen Geeesh!!!:doh:
I thought we were all reay to hug one another? hmmm


----------



## tonynyc

BarbBBW said:


> wow i go out for some drinks with a girlfriend and i missed 5 pages? how does this happen Geeesh!!!:doh:
> I thought we were all reay to hug one another? hmmm



Can I bearhug you :wubu:


----------



## BarbBBW

tonynyc said:


> Can I bearhug you :wubu:



mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm :smitten::eat2::wubu::blush: yes please hehehee


----------



## tonynyc

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Do I get punished now? :batting:



*Yes I have not forgotten you Greenie - here's your punishment for being surly... * 

*Pick your Poison *






*Chris "The Masterlock" Masters 6'5" 270*







*John Cena - "The FU Five Knuckle Shuffle" - 6' 1" 240*


----------



## thatgirl08

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Thatgirl - I like you - honestly, I apologize.



Apology accepted. No hard feelings.



fatgirlflyin said:


> ..........



PRICELESS<3



Surlysomething said:


> You don't even know me yet you continue to reference me in some way. Is there a reason for that or are you just an asshole?



You really need to stop being so pissy.


----------



## tonynyc

thatgirl08 said:


> Apology accepted. No hard feelings.
> 
> 
> 
> PRICELESS<3
> 
> 
> 
> You really need to stop being so pissy.



I'm sorry to correct you - the word is "surly"


----------



## Surlysomething

thatgirl08 said:


> Apology accepted. No hard feelings.
> 
> 
> 
> PRICELESS<3
> 
> 
> 
> You really need to stop being so pissy.



Who the hell are you?


----------



## Surlysomething

tonynyc said:


> I'm sorry to correct you - the word is "surly"




You really need to stop. I asked you nicely once.


----------



## Miss Vickie

[just a quick interjection before the thread gets shut down...]

I've been thinking about what you wrote, Ruffie, and I wanted you to know that I appreciate it (reppage shortly, when the rep gods let me). You're absolutely right -- it isn't worth the time and energy, because I can't make someone see (what I think of as) reason. People look at things with their own unique perspective, and all the carefully crafted sentences I throw at it won't change that. People see, ultimately, what they want to see, what evidence seems to coincide with their world view. We all do this - me, you, everyone. So thank you for helping me see the whole thing in a different light and realize that I'm not responsible for how another views me. I set my boundaries and I'm letting it go. For now. 

Lucky, thank you. 

And thanks for all the cool reppage, and even better the nice comments that came along with it. I'm superficial and insecure enough to appreciate it. Health-wise, I'm hanging in there, way better than I was awhile ago. My doctor says my Sarcoidosis is stable, and my other doc says my cancer seems to be ... dare I say... gone. Or it is for now, anyway, and I'm hoping for the best.

Sorry I haven't engaged in the fun today (although I'm sure I wasn't missed since the thread has taken on a life of its own). I seem to have come down with a flu bug, and feel like warmed over shit. Some may say that's my just desserts, but I think it's that the very sweet, but very ill patient I took care of the other day just loved to share. 

Anyhoo, carry on. It's been a fun read!


----------



## mszwebs

fatgirlflyin said:


> I'd do him.
> 
> Just sayin



I'd hit it too.

GMTA, FGF


----------



## tonynyc

[


Surlysomething said:


> You really need to stop. I asked you nicely once.



I thought u had me at "Ignore"- you peaked  .. first of all you hardly ask things in a nice manner anyway... - to be blunt you don't like my posting *tough shit *- now you can put me on Ignore. Have a nice Fucking Day!!!!


----------



## thatgirl08

Surlysomething said:


> Who the hell are you?



More mature than you, clearly.


----------



## Surlysomething

tonynyc said:


> [
> 
> 
> I thought u had me at "Ignore"- you peaked  .. first of all you hardly ask things in a nice manner anyway... - to be blunt you don't like my posting *tough shit *- now you can put me on Ignore. Have a nice Fucking Day!!!!




I did ask you nicely and you agreed. Now you're just trying to be a smartass and you're failing miserably. So much for you being one of the well spoken, intelligent men on the site. Now you're just lumped into the loser category. Time to grow up, Tony.


----------



## indy500tchr

*is confused as to why this thread hasn't been closed yet after reading a lot of nastiness even though some might have written it in jest...but how would all of us know that?*


----------



## Surlysomething

thatgirl08 said:


> More mature than you, clearly.




Really? Oh that's right, 18 year olds don't show up on my radar much. Especially ones that think they know it all when they clearly don't. Grow up, little girl.


----------



## thatgirl08

thatgirl08 said:


> Yeah, generally when I don't agree with someone about something I fall back on personal attacks. And don't even tell me for a second this isn't one. I realize this board is made up mostly of people who are twice my age but I'm 18 years old, an adult, and I have just as much of a right to post here as you do. Instead of calling me out on being a teenager everytime I say something you don't like, you could try discussing it with me. I know that would require you to actually read what I say, think about it, and formulate a coherant response but I really, truly believe that you and everyone else on the board is capable of it.





Surlysomething said:


> Really? Oh that's right, 18 year olds don't show up on my radar much. Especially ones that think they know it all when they clearly don't. Grow up, little girl.



The only thing good about your posts in this thread is that for once they're not about you bitching cause 'ALL THE BHM'S LIKE SKINNY GIRLS AND ITS JUST NOT FAIR'

It's probably less about you being fat and more about you being a huge cunt.


----------



## Surlysomething

thatgirl08 said:


> The only thing good about your posts in this thread is that for once they're not about you bitching cause 'ALL THE BHM'S LIKE SKINNY GIRLS AND ITS JUST NOT FAIR'




And again, grow up.


----------



## thatgirl08

Surlysomething said:


> And again, grow up.



Is it too late for you to?



thatgirl08 said:


> The only thing good about your posts in this thread is that for once they're not about you bitching cause 'ALL THE BHM'S LIKE SKINNY GIRLS AND ITS JUST NOT FAIR'
> 
> It's probably less about you being fat and more about you being a huge cunt.



Just in case you missed the addition sweetheart.


----------



## mszwebs

Hmmm... after that, perhaps I have a shot at the cake...


----------



## Surlysomething

thatgirl08 said:


> Is it too late for you to?
> 
> 
> 
> Just in case you missed the addition sweetheart.



Haha. 18 year old not registering. You fall into the I don't give a shit category, sweetheart. Shouldn't you be in bed now?


----------



## fatgirlflyin

mszwebs said:


> Hmmm... after that, perhaps I have a shot at the cake...



Forget the cake, can we just get back to talking about us having sex with Mini?


----------



## thatgirl08

Surlysomething said:


> Haha. 18 year old not registering. You fall into the I don't give a shit category, sweetheart. Shouldn't you be in bed now?





thatgirl08 said:


> Yeah, generally when I don't agree with someone about something I fall back on personal attacks. And don't even tell me for a second this isn't one. I realize this board is made up mostly of people who are twice my age but I'm 18 years old, an adult, and I have just as much of a right to post here as you do. Instead of calling me out on being a teenager everytime I say something you don't like, you could try discussing it with me. I know that would require you to actually read what I say, think about it, and formulate a coherant response but I really, truly believe that you and everyone else on the board is capable of it.



.....................


----------



## mszwebs

fatgirlflyin said:


> Forget the cake, can we just get back to talking about us having sex with Mini?



HELL YES.

I'm reading a thread that may help, right now as a matter of fact.

Maybe we should take this over to Facebook... we wouldn't want to distract.


----------



## tonynyc

Surlysomething said:


> I did ask you nicely and you agreed. Now you're just trying to be a smartass and you're failing miserably. So much for you being one of the well spoken, intelligent men on the site. Now you're just lumped into the loser category. Time to grow up, Tony.



Well perhaps you can have some growing up to do .. You certainly have picked battles with more than enough folks here to last a good while. I guess your Ignore Button will be working overtime...So.. In your so -called pompous opinion If I'm a "loser" guess that makes you a Surly Nasty Bitch....


----------



## Paquito

..........


----------



## Surlysomething

A forum on bullying and I get repeatedly attacked personally and no one does anything. Pretty mind boggling but not surprising at all. Yes, I have a differing view and hated that this thread went the way of most threads (down the toilet). Did I deserve the crap thrown at me? No. I'm not a thread derailer or a nasty private messager but look at the way i've been jumped on.

Pretty good exercise in how well managed this place is and how kind, empathetic and intelligent the posters are. Same players acting like idiots, same players who obviously don't have satisfying lives outside of here.


Disappointing, hell yes. This from a comment asking how wrestling applied to the issue. Pretty nice, eh?


----------



## tonynyc

free2beme04 said:


> ..........



I thought you were coming back with some Beer and Chips


----------



## Surlysomething

tonynyc said:


> Well perhaps you can have some growing up to do .. You certainly have picked battles with more than enough folks here to last a good while. I guess your Ignore Button will be working overtime...So.. In your so -called pompous opinion If I'm a "loser" guess that makes you a Surly Nasty Bitch....




Another personal attack. All I can do now is report your name calling and be done with it.


----------



## thatgirl08

Surlysomething said:


> A forum on bullying and I get repeatedly attacked personally and no one does anything. Pretty mind boggling but not surprising at all. Yes, I have a differing view and hated that this thread went the way of most threads (down the toile). Did I deserve the crap thrown at me? No. I'm not a thread derailer or a nasty private messager but look at the way i've been jumped on.
> 
> Pretty good exercise in how well managed this place is and how kind, empathetic and intelligent the posters are. Same players acting like idiots, same players who obviously don't have satisfying lives outside of here.
> 
> 
> Disappointing, hell yes. This from a comment asking how wrestling applied to the issue. Pretty nice, eh?



Yeah, and you haven't been personally attacking anyone?  You're seriously delusional.


----------



## Paquito

tonynyc said:


> I thought you were coming back with some Beer and Chips



If I booked us all flights to Hershey, PA, would that make everything better?

*nibbles on NOT WALMART chocolate cake*


----------



## Surlysomething

thatgirl08 said:


> Yeah, and you haven't been personally attacking anyone?  You're seriously delusional.




How so, 18 yo? I sure didn't call you a _"cunt"._ Nice. That's quite mature of you seeing you consider yourself an adult and all.


----------



## tonynyc

free2beme04 said:


> If I booked us all flights to Hershey, PA, would that make everything better?
> 
> *nibbles on NOT WALMART chocolate cake*



What No "Bitter" Chocolate


----------



## thatgirl08

Surlysomething said:


> How so, 18 yo? I sure didn't call you a _"cunt"._ Nice. That's quite mature of you seeing you consider yourself and adult and all.



The definition of being an adult means not using filthy language. 

Oh, wait, it doesn't. Sorry I call it like I see it. 

Also, 



Surlysomething said:


> Really? Oh that's right, 18 year olds don't show up on my radar much. Especially ones that think they know it all when they clearly don't. Grow up, little girl.



if that's not a personal attack, what is? Besides the clearly ageist tone, I don't think you could be anymore condescending. Feel free to report me but you know what they say.. pot.. kettle.


----------



## Paquito

tonynyc said:


> What No "Bitter" Chocolate



I could always give you some of what Betamax is having, clearly it's good and strong.

I feel like he may end up being our Saviour, somehow...


----------



## Surlysomething

thatgirl08 said:


> The definition of being an adult means not using filthy language.
> 
> Oh, wait, it doesn't. Sorry I call it like I see it.
> 
> Also,
> 
> 
> 
> if that's not a personal attack, what is? Besides the clearly ageist tone, I don't think you could be anymore condescending. Feel free to report me but you know what they say.. pot.. kettle.



I didn't call you any derogatory names. Your age is clearly showing in the way you're replying and the way you jumped on the bandwagon of attacking me when you had nothing to do with the posts that were being made. But keep it up. I could care less how many times you call me names if what I say doesn't suit you. Adult way to deal with things.


----------



## tonynyc

free2beme04 said:


> I could always give you some of what Betamax is having, clearly it's good and strong.
> 
> I feel like he may end up being our Saviour, somehow...



Betamax? Who is Betamax?


----------



## Paquito

Betamax said:


> imdrunk and this thread MAKEs me laugh
> 
> and drrool a tiny bit.:wubu:




Page 40

A great first post I think.

Welcome, Betamax!


----------



## thatgirl08

Surlysomething said:


> I didn't call you any derogatory names. Your age is clearly showing in the way you're replying and the way you jumped on the bandwagon of attacking me when you had nothing to do with the posts that were being made. But keep it up. I could care less how many times you call me names if what I say doesn't suit you. Adult way to deal with things.



I'm not going to continue to argue with you about this because clearly you're either too stupid or too stubborn to admit you're wrong. Report me, ignore me, whatever suits you.


----------



## Surlysomething

It seems so odd that American History X is on my tv right now.


----------



## tonynyc

free2beme04 said:


> Page 40
> 
> A great first post I think.
> 
> Welcome, Betamax!


 
*LOL hell He deserves "REPS" from ALL OF US ... what better way to welcome this Newbie than to give him a Boatload of Sober REPS *


----------



## thatgirl08

tonynyc said:


> *LOL hell He deserves "REPS" from ALL OF US ... what better way to welcome this Newbie than to give him a Boatload of Sober REPS *



been there, done that


----------



## Surlysomething

thatgirl08 said:


> I'm not going to continue to argue with you about this because clearly you're either too stupid or too stubborn to admit you're wrong. Report me, ignore me, whatever suits you.




I'm not wrong. 

But done and done. You really do need to grow up, you're going to meet people in real life that are going to wreck you if you talk like that. Trust me, you will.


----------



## thatgirl08

Surlysomething said:


> I'm not wrong.
> 
> But done and done. You really do need to grow up, you're going to meet people in real life that are going to wreck you if you talk like that. Trust me, you will.



Is that what happened to you?


----------



## Surlysomething

thatgirl08 said:


> Is that what happened to you?




Haha. Another mature reply.


----------



## Paquito

Sorry, but isn't a sign of maturity supposed to be that you don't try to end a conversation with a final parting shot, which is just baiting the other person?


----------



## Surlysomething

free2beme04 said:


> Sorry, but isn't a sign of maturity supposed to be that you don't try to end a conversation with a final parting shot, which is just baiting the other person?



So now you want to play too?


----------



## thatgirl08

Surlysomething said:


> Haha. Another mature reply.



I thought I was on ignore. 



free2beme04 said:


> Sorry, but isn't a sign of maturity supposed to be that you don't try to end a conversation with a final parting shot, which is just baiting the other person?



As if that wasn't begging for a response.


----------



## Paquito

Surlysomething said:


> So now you want to play too?




No, I'm just saying that maturity is kinda a two way street. Can't we just, let this go?


----------



## thatgirl08

free2beme04 said:


> No, I'm just saying that maturity is kinda a two way street. Can't we just, let this go?



Isn't another sign of maturity not making a statement that is clearly intended to stir things up and then following it up with CAN'T WE ALL BE NICE TO EACH OTHER?


----------



## Paquito

thatgirl08 said:


> Isn't another sign of maturity not making a statement that is clearly intended to stir things up and then following it up with CAN'T WE ALL BE NICE TO EACH OTHER?




My first statement was more directed at Surly and how she wanted to try to make you sound immature by the simple fact that you're 18, and couldn't resist giving another jab at you when she tried to end the conversation.


----------



## thatgirl08

free2beme04 said:


> My first statement was more directed at Surly and how she wanted to try to make you sound immature by the simple fact that you're 18, and couldn't resist giving another jab at you when she tried to end the conversation.



I misinterpreted you. My bad.


----------



## Paquito

thatgirl08 said:


> I misinterpreted you. My bad.



It's ok, happens to me alot apparently. 

I gotta get better at expressing myself I guess.


----------



## thatgirl08

free2beme04 said:


> It's ok, happens to me alot apparently.



Me too, haha.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

I was making jewelry but this thread is much more fun.  Carry on.


----------



## tonynyc

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I was making jewelry but this thread is much more fun.  Carry on.



Are you wearing *the World Tag Team Belts *- u never know when you might be called out to defend your title ....


----------



## cinnamitch

Ok, we have way too many people eating cake. I do not and i repeat do not see cake in front of me. I suggest someone male bring me cake and be nekkid while doing it.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

tonynyc said:


> Are you wearing *the World Tag Team Belts *- u never know when you might be called out to defend your title ....



I've had enough for this weekend Tony. I'm on vacation until further notice. 

Bite Me.


----------



## tonynyc

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I've had enough for this weekend Tony. I'm on vacation until further notice.
> 
> Bite Me.



LOL so true even Champions need a break from Title Defenses - carry on and enjoy the show


----------



## exile in thighville

Surlysomething said:


> Really? Oh that's right, 18 year olds don't show up on my radar much. Especially ones that think they know it all when they clearly don't. Grow up, little girl.



why would ageist condescension work to your credibility's advantage here?


----------



## Angel

Surlysomething said:


> Haha. And he wonders why he never gets laid.



You really shouldn't have gone there Ms. Please keep this thread on topic and entertain me or I will whine like a 2 year old spoiled brat!

That was pretty low of you. Do YOU have men waiting in line to make love to you? 

I'll let you in on a secret since you don't like to read anything that is slightly off topic. 

There are women here who would LOVE to get their hands on Mini. In fact there is a very long line. Mini could have his choice if he wanted it. Think you would ever have such an opportunity as that? Huh? You think? 


There are a few men who don't fuck every woman that comes on to them. There are some men who have both respect for women and respect for themselves. 

You just barked up the wrong tree, woman. It doesn't happen very often, but your NASTY comment just brought out the claws of one of his friends.


I think it is fair to say that 99% of us are sick of your whining about this thread getting off track. Go buy yourself a book and read it. You would find that much more entertaining.


----------



## Surlysomething

Angel said:


> You really shouldn't have gone there Ms. Please keep this thread on topic and entertain me or I will whine like a 2 year old spoiled brat!
> 
> That was pretty low of you. Do YOU have men waiting in line to make love to you?
> 
> I'll let you in on a secret since you don't like to read anything that is slightly off topic.
> 
> There are women here who would LOVE to get their hands on Mini. In fact there is a very long line. Mini could have his choice if he wanted it. Think you would ever have such an opportunity as that? Huh? You think?
> 
> 
> There are a few men who don't fuck every woman that comes on to them. There are some men who have both respect for women and respect for themselves.
> 
> You just barked up the wrong tree, woman. It doesn't happen very often, but your NASTY comment just brought out the claws of one of his friends.
> 
> 
> I think it is fair to say that 99% of us are sick of your whining about this thread getting off track. Go buy yourself a book and read it. You would find that much more entertaining.



Haha. So, it's ok that he made snarky comments to me though? Gotcha. And as a friend of his you should know that he makes comments on his lack of 'getting any' on a consistent basis. Your attempt at defending him is feable at best.

Thanks for playin!


----------



## Isa

Angel said:


> I think it is fair to say that 99% of us are sick of your whining about this thread getting off track. Go buy yourself a book and read it. You would find that much more entertaining.



An Angel preaching the truth.


----------



## Surlysomething

exile in thighville said:


> why would ageist condescension work to your credibility's advantage here?




who are you?


----------



## Surlysomething

Bullying anyone?

Have a differing opinion of ANYTHING on this site and you're pushed into a corner by the masses. No one defends your right voice your opinion, no one defends you from being called a cunt or twat. Even when you defend yourself you're mocked and provoked. It's quite disgusting.

Pat yourselves on the back. Good thing this is the internet and you can all hid behind your screens. Walking away is everyone's best option.


Good night!


----------



## Angel

Surlysomething said:


> Haha. So, it's ok that he made snarky comments to me though? Gotcha. And as a friend of his you should know that he makes comments on his lack of 'getting any' on a consistent basis. Your attempt at defending him is feable at best.
> 
> Thanks for playin!



Aww Mini has a fan who follows him around reading his posts and who can also quote him. You know you want some of that, too.  That's why you keep engaging him with your innocent little comments. You can't wait for those little snarky morsels he tosses back at you. The end of the line is about a mile east of here. Don't bother getting in line.


It's a free for all now. You asked for it. You called one gentleman (yes, I said gentleman!) an asshole and you tried your best to try to humiliate another, so you are fair game. You've only seen snarky so far. Most of the girls here can handle themselves as you are about to find out. LOL. As for the guys, some *are* gentlemen and might refrain from telling you where to go.


----------



## Shosh

Surlysomething said:


> Bullying anyone?
> 
> Have a differing opinion of ANYTHING on this site and you're pushed into a corner by the masses. No one defends your right voice your opinion, no one defends you from being called a cunt or twat. Even when you defend yourself you're mocked and provoked. It's quite disgusting.
> 
> Pat yourselves on the back. Good thing this is the internet and you can all hid behind your screens. Walking away is everyone's best option.
> 
> 
> Good night!



I am very sorry that you were called the C word. That is vulgar and over the top.
You certainly do have the right to voice your opinion.
You also have the right to say that you dislike a serious topic being being treated in a frivolous manner.

As I have said previously I have found that I just have to block those kind of people out of my mind and go on.
On behalf of decency I offer an apology that you have been put through this Tina.


----------



## Angel

Surlysomething said:


> Bullying anyone?
> 
> Have a differing opinion of ANYTHING on this site and you're pushed into a corner by the masses. No one defends your right voice your opinion, no one defends you from being called a cunt or twat. Even when you defend yourself you're mocked and provoked. It's quite disgusting.
> 
> Pat yourselves on the back. Good thing this is the internet and you can all hid behind your screens. Walking away is everyone's best option.
> 
> 
> Good night!



You are still here???


The thread has been off topic for what, five or more pages? 


We all can see the truth now. You just want to be the center of attention. LOL


You weren't pushed into a corner, YOU painted yourself into one.



Whaaaaaaaaa! Whaaaaaaaaa!


----------



## mossystate

My bedroom has cooled down enough to sleep. 

See you in the morning, thread!

Keep the crazy coming.


----------



## Angel

free2beme04 said:


> My first statement was more directed at Surly and how she wanted to try to make you sound immature by the simple fact that you're 18, and couldn't resist giving another jab at you when she tried to end the conversation.




psst. She really doesn't want to end any conversation. She likes the attention.


Ever see anyone bitch and moan about how unfairly she has been treated, tell other posters to stop replying to her or to put her on ignore, but continue to respond to them? She wants the attention or she wouldn't respond or keep derailing the thread with her whining. Maybe she just has to have the last word. LOL 



Hey Tony, gimme some of that sexy Undertaker with those size 13 boots!!! *wicked laugh*


----------



## Shosh

I think that Surly is frustrated about something that really effects some of us here being turned into a laugh fest. There are plenty of threads for that. I am somebody who loves a laugh, but we are dealing with a serious topic here. 
I think Surly started out in quite a calm and measured manner trying to express that frustration. She was then derided and mocked. 
It is horrible to watch a person being attacked by many others. We are witnessing the very behaviour we are talking about first hand.


----------



## Angel

Susannah said:


> I think that Surly is frustrated about something that really effects some of us here being turned into a laugh fest. There are plenty of threads for that. I am somebody who loves a laugh, but we are dealing with a serious topic here.
> I think Surly started out in quite a calm and measured manner trying to express that frustration. She was then derided and mocked.
> It is horrible to watch a person being attacked by many others. We are witnessing the very behaviour we are talking about first hand.



If someone can be the first to dish out the behavior they find revolting, then they should be prepared for the feedback they receive. If someone continually provokes, eventually they are going to get bitten. Directly call someone an asshole, don't expect candy and roses.


If a male would have made a comment to a female here at Dimensions about her not being able to "get laid" (regardless of what she may have previosly posted elsewhere), it probably would have been his FINAL post. Think about that.


I do understand the frustration some feel, but you can't expect a 30 or 40 some page thread to stay on topic 100% of the time, especially one that became as heated as this one did. If it would have stayed on topic and the insults had kept flying, the thread would have probably been locked and possibly even some infractions given. It was beginning to get ruthless on BOTH sides. Some people try to calm things down with a joke or a silly pic and yes sometimes even by posting something completely off topic. Sometimes that works much better than saying hey, time out. 


It's ironic how that just when this thread seems to settle down and posters are actually having a little fun, that one person can get most everyone riled up again. Some people can't leave well enough alone. They may not break any rules (at first!), but they are instigators who do nothing more than attempt to stir things up. Isn't that exactly what someone was very recently banned for?


----------



## wrestlingguy

Surlysomething said:


> I'm trying to figure out how wrestling fits in this thread in any way...



Just a reminder that this was the first comment made by this lady (who I don't know at all) before there was another thread meltdown.

Does anyone else wonder why this thread hasn't been closed? Does anyone else think that Conrad is making a point by allowing this to continue?

Does everyone return here several times a day to see who else has entered the battle royal?


----------



## Shosh

Angel said:


> If someone can be the first to dish out the behavior they find revolting, then they should be prepared for the feedback they receive. If someone continually provokes, eventually they are going to get bitten. Directly call someone an asshole, don't expect candy and roses.
> 
> 
> If a male would have made a comment to a female here at Dimensions about her not being able to "get laid" (regardless of what she may have previosly posted elsewhere), it probably would have been his FINAL post. Think about that.
> 
> 
> I do understand the frustration some feel, but you can't expect a 30 or 40 some page thread to stay on topic 100% of the time, especially one that became as heated as this one did. If it would have stayed on topic and the insults had kept flying, the thread would have probably been locked and possibly even some infractions given. It was beginning to get ruthless on BOTH sides. Some people try to calm things down with a joke or a silly pic and yes sometimes even by posting something completely off topic. Sometimes that works much better than saying hey, time out.
> 
> 
> It's ironic how that just when this thread seems to settle down and posters are actually having a little fun, that one person can get most everyone riled up again. Some people can't leave well enough alone. They may not break any rules (at first!), but they are instigators who do nothing more than attempt to stir things up. Isn't that exactly what someone was very recently banned for?



I do not know what the answer to all this is Angel. I just dont.
Surly should not have made that crude comment either I guess.


----------



## Friday

Threads always drift to some extant, it's how the human mind works (if that's what we call it). This isn't a world summit here, we aren't going to create world peace, so a little levity is nice to keep things from getting so intense. However, like I said clear back on page one, you attack the post not the poster. It is inexcusable to make rude, personal remarks for any reason but especially for the express purpose of hurting someone. But, but and again but, if many of us find something offensive what we need to do is report the post. We are not moderators, we have no business trying to censor what other posters have to say and if they are out of line they NEED to be reported so appropriate action can be taken by the moderators against the offender making personal attacks. Keeps things on the up and up and really cuts down on Jill or John Nobody trying to run the board.


----------



## Shosh

Friday said:


> Threads always drift to some extant, it's how the human mind works (if that's what we call it). This isn't a world summit here, we aren't going to create world peace, so a little levity is nice to keep things from getting so intense. However, like I said clear back on page one, you attack the post not the poster. It is inexcusable to make rude, personal remarks for any reason but especially for the express purpose of hurting someone. But, but and again but, if many of us find something offensive what we need to do is report the post. We are not moderators, we have no business trying to censor what other posters have to say and if they are out of line they NEED to be reported so appropriate action can be taken by the moderators against the offender making personal attacks. Keeps things on the up and up and really cuts down on Jill or John Nobody trying to run the board.



Now this is input that I can agree with and apply. Thank you Friday.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

wrestlingguy said:


> Does anyone else wonder why this thread hasn't been closed? Does anyone else think that Conrad is making a point by allowing this to continue?



Seems to me Conrad is conducting a little social experiment. Sort of like: "If you give people enough rope, how long will it take to hang themselves."

It's genius!


----------



## Tooz

Surlysomething definitely just got bullied like all hell. Less than cool, especially with some of the immature comments slung at her. By friends of mine, at that. This is making me sad, but it is a prime example of why I've been coming here less.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Tooz said:


> Surlysomething definitely just got bullied like all hell. Less than cool, especially with some of the immature comments slung at her. By friends of mine, at that. This is making me sad, but it is a prime example of why I've been coming here less.



Oh you mean like the shit you threw in my direction. Everyone is guilty here.


----------



## The Fez

Tooz said:


> Surlysomething definitely just got bullied like all hell. Less than cool, especially with some of the immature comments slung at her. By friends of mine, at that. This is making me sad, *but it is a prime example of why I've been coming here less.*



It's pretty much the reason I don't post much, and generally avoid the main board


----------



## tonynyc

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Oh you mean like the shit you threw in my direction. Everyone is guilty here.



So true Sandie - we all have our moments... You are right this thread is a heck fo a "Social Experiment" or more "Social Networking" experiment... The concept would make both Milgram and Skinnner quite proud. More on this later.... 

And in a moment of light banter.. The Mods? Where are they ?


----------



## Tooz

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Oh you mean like the shit you threw in my direction. Everyone is guilty here.



Did I ever say I was innocent? Gee, no, I don't think so. Besides, one person chiding another is different than the gangbanging I saw juuuuust a few pages ago.


----------



## BBWTexan

wrestlingguy said:


> Does anyone else think that Conrad is making a point by allowing this to continue?



I've thought the same thing. No need to point them out really, they've done a good job of pointing the spotlight squarely on themselves. This thread has morphed itself into a giant, steaming pile of irony.



Tooz said:


> Surlysomething definitely just got bullied like all hell. Less than cool, especially with some of the immature comments slung at her.



This. 



tonynyc said:


> And in a moment of light banter.. The Mods? Where are they ?



My guesses would be:

1) Sleeping
2) Avoiding this thread like the plague in an attempt to maintain their collective sanity


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Tooz said:


> Did I ever say I was innocent? Gee, no, I don't think so. Besides, one person chiding another is different than the gangbanging I saw juuuuust a few pages ago.



No you didn't - however - you might want to go back and re-read the cluster fuck that was the pile on that I was involved in. My point? We all bully and no one is worse or better - it's all equal. And I apologized for my part in this mess - which was sincere. Learning to walk away is hard for me - but I don't like what I saw in myself in this thread.


----------



## Tooz

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> No you didn't - however - you might want to go back and re-read the cluster fuck that was the pile on that I was involved in. My point? We all bully and no one is worse or better - it's all equal. And I apologized for my part in this mess - which was sincere. Learning to walk away is hard for me - but I don't like what I saw in myself in this thread.



For every pile-on you have been on the business end of, I'm pretty sure you've actually piled on someone else-- which strengthens your point.


----------



## imfree

BarbBBW said:


> ...snipped......
> I thought we were all reay to hug one another? hmmm



Sounds fine to me, Barb. Put me down for a nice, luxurious hug.:happy::bow:


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Tooz said:


> For every pile-on you have been on the business end of, I'm pretty sure you've actually piled on someone else-- which strengthens your point.



So what - are you making excuses for your behavior? I deserved it?? Tooz let me tell you something. I've seen how nasty you are in a lot of your posts. Stop judging me and look at your behavior. Your rationalization here is amazing.

So you're saying some bullying is justified as long as its not you or your friends??


----------



## chicken legs

You catty bitches have nothing on frustrated twinks..lol 

this is a thread i started on musclegrowth.org

*me:*

_Maybe this is in the wrong area but...i was wondering if the moderators could add tags to stories like growth, teen growth, hetero, etc..or maybe just seperate them into catagories based on content...

just a thought...because i basically found this site because of its stories

Thanks

What are you ideas on this? _



*TheMM:*

_1. That would take forever.
2. There's far too many possible tags to be useful.
3. The author of a thread can do it themselves. _



*me:*

_True on all points BUT it would really help the site out. Ok it would really help ME because scanning through all the stories to find the elements that turn me on takes forever. Maybe a search engine might be faster?


LOL i wish i could go back and change catagory to category..._



TheMM:
_There is a search feature, at the very top of the page. _



*
nypup2train:*

_More importantly, the OP is simply asking to offload his laziness onto other people. Around here, we generally refer to that as, "A shitty thing to do, so please go away until you've graduated out of net.kindergarten, you annoying little whiner."*

...Now, nobody here wants to be referred to in those sort of terms, do we? So let's make sure we don't live down to that description by making stupid. fucking. requests!
Oooh, yay!

A Plan!!

As he(/she(/it)) says, it takes for-fucking-ever to scan through all of the stories to find specific elements -- and that's if you're doing a targeted search. (Er, assuming Clue #1 is purchased/scammed, and the oh-so-cleverly-disguised "Search" function discovered.) Imagine having to scan through ALL of the stories, looking for ANY "elements"!

Why should "the moderators"** have to do that, when you yourself are whining about how long it takes and how cool it would be if somebody else took care of this shit for you? Want us to brush your teeth and read you a story, too? Sure, we'll take care of that! Here's one: "Once upon a time there was a whiney n00b who got flamed until he either wised up or went away, don't care which the end."
* - I am what is generally referred to as, "An asshole." Most people on the site are nicer about how they say such things to annoying whiners... more diplomatic.
I'm not most people.
(We do all agree on the immense good fortune it was, that most people didn't turn out this way.)


** - It's a(n UN-)common misconception that there's a large staff of Moderators(TM) chained to computers over at the Evolution Home Office in Sioux City, Iowa, who are tasked with reading each and every story that's posted here. Hell, even copy-editing, why the fuck not? ...They swoop in during the nanoseconds between an author hitting "Submit" and the post appearing, and lovingly pore over the text with a fine-toothed comb, red lightpen at the ready, ensuring that the submission meets the highest possible standards before it reaches the rarefied eyes of the lowly site member. ...Since these mythical, winged (they have wings, right?) moderators have to read each and every story anyway, well, why not have them categorize and catalog it while they're there? Makes total sense!

...This is what's known as a COMPLETE AND TOTAL FANTASY. More than that, it's a stupid goddamn thought, being so obviously divorced from both the realm of possibility, and the patently obvious reality of the situation. Forgetting for a moment the absurdity of that level of resources being devoted to this site, it being both completely free-as-in-no-money and entirely entertainment-oriented in nature... putting that completely aside!... the reality clearly shows that this is not the case. Some of the crap that's posted here is so devoid of both quality and appropriateness that it makes you feel a tiny bit sad that a magnetic platter in a hard disk somewhere had to suffer the indignity of having its bits rotated, just to store it! And muscl4life's English has gotten very, very good as the years have gone by, but his posts still can't be confused with anything that's ever seen a copy-editor! (I kid Bruno cuz he knows I think his stories are awesome.)
At times, though, we can be tempted to persist in such foolish fantasies, because it suits us. Thinking of the site as professionally-maintained by a mysterious fuller-than-full-time staff makes it easy to say shit like, "Oh, well, the Moderators should just do it for me!" ....Check those thoughts at the door, Chrissie Clueless! (Note: There's also no coat-check girl! ZOMG!) The site is Moderated only in the administrative sense. The Moderators (a level-headed -- and sorely underappreciated, in my estimation -- few) probably do end up reading every story posted, but only because they CHOOSE to, since they too are interested in the sort of stuff that's shared here. But they certainly don't officially examine every story as a matter of course. ...Indeed, their official administrative acts are few-and-far-between, largely re-active, and tempered by a saintly level of restraint. So much so, that ordinary users will often pitch in and offer their own, non-official input on lesser matters of site policy or practices, in hopes of saving the Moderators the trouble of responding officially. ...Like so!
_


*nypup2train:*
Originally Posted by chicken legs View Post
LOL i wish i could go back and change catagory to category...

_...Yeah, that's what's wrong about your post._


*me:*

_Originally Posted by *TheMM *View Post
There is a search feature, at the very top of the page.__

hey thanks for the tip..._



*me:*
reply to nypup2train....

_**busts out tranquilizer gun, dislodges stick from anus, and places it back into its habitat** _

*nypup2train:*
his reply to that....

._..You had a stick in your anus? Wow, that sounds really uncomfortable and distracting. (<groucho>Especially if done right!</groucho>) I can certainly imagine how that might lead to making wrong-headed, effort-avoiding requests for things that probably seemed far too tedious to deal with while unavoidably conscious of that stick being alll... up... in dere.

If that was the case, and that was the driving force behind your original requests, then I completely understand! There's no need to explain or apologize, and presumably we can expect that the removal of the offending stick will greatly decrease the objectionable factors in any future interactions? Awesome!

...What sort of habitat was your stick native to? It's awfully humanitarian of you to return it to that habitat, after all the trouble and embarrassment it's caused you. Really, very very cool.

P.S> What was the tranq gun for? Seems almost non-sequitur.
_


*TheLemur:*

_Somebody has anger management issues _



*me:*
_
lol...its like Stewie on steriods..
_
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wJ0...howthread.php?t=16120&feature=player_embedded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UbHSNs1jx0



*giantw:*

_NYPup...what is with all the anger?

Speaking as a former moderator (to another site) I can tell you that suggestions come in all sorts and shapes. Some are better than others. It is up to the moderators to take those mere suggestions, effect a cost benefit analysis, and see if their implementation would be worthwhile as opposed to a hassle. Moderators are always looking for suggestions regardless of whether or not they have the time or will to implement them.

Relax! Calm down! _



*wolfotehmoon:*

_Woah, how'd I miss this shitfest?

Anyway, it couldn't hurt for the story forum to have a sticky with posting rules or suggestions, and one of them could easily be "tag your posts". I agree, though, there's far too many stories to do the entire archive..._


*nypup2train:*

[_U]Originally Posted by *wolfotehmoon* [/U]
Anyway, it couldn't hurt for the story forum to have a sticky with posting rules or suggestions, and one of them could easily be "tag your posts".



Oh, I completely agree! Categorization would be a great thing, I think it should be clear from my previous comments in various threads that I'm all for organization. Metadata is my secret down-low luv-uh!*

*- Unfortunately, categorization is also frustratingly difficult to do properly and completely. Especially since the general feeling among contributors on pretty much all sites is that they aren't happy being forced to deal with too many meta-info requirements when submitting their work. A few people will always be willing and interested in the opportunity to tag, sort, and otherwise differentiate their contributions. But at least as many others won't want to deal with it, and will provide the minimum possible metainformation with their submissions. Or, worse, if it's required they will randomly/incorrectly tag submissions just to force through the submission process. Since they're choosing to donate their time and effort to a purely voluntary, user-contributed body of work, it's not even really fair/appropriate to find fault with those people. Thus, metadata necessarily ends up being an "optional" element of contributions, and varies greatly in quality/accuracy.

Originally Posted by *TheLemur* 
Somebody has anger management issues

Originally Posted by *giantw *View Post
NYPup...what is with all the anger? 
_

H_eh. I just have to say, honestly, I'm amused and a bit perplexed that "anger" is what so many people are taking away from my post(s). Trust me, I'm enough of a sociopath that I was grinning most of the time I typed my first message. ...Whether that makes it better or worse, I leave for persons far smarter than I to debate.

Originally Posted by* giantw * View Post
Speaking as a former moderator (to another site) I can tell you that suggestions come in all sorts and shapes. Some are better than others. It is up to the moderators to take those mere suggestions, effect a cost benefit analysis, and see if their implementation would be worthwhile as opposed to a hassle. Moderators are always looking for suggestions regardless of whether or not they have the time or will to implement them.

Eh. I understand where you're coming from, and certainly acknowledge that that's one way of seeing the whole moderator role. If you choose to approach your moderator-ship in that way, more power to you, but it's far from an absolute, universal position.

There's another school of thought that says that, because the moderators are being kind enough to donate their skills to the site and put in a great deal of time keeping it running, it would be considerate of the users not to waste moderators' time with questions/requests/suggestions that, if they stopped to apply a little common sense and think them through, they'd realize should never be brought up in the first place. In other words, there are stupid questions.

I'll point to Eric S. Raymond's infamous How To Ask Questions The Smart Way guide as an example. It's geared towards technical questions in free-software support forums, but comes from the same sort of mindset as I've just discussed. There are stupid questions, some people are idiots even when they just "don't know any better" (they should!), and rudeness/harshness are not only acceptable but encouraged in dealing with such people.

As I said in my first post, many people are nicer than I am in their handling of such matters, and that's a good thing. But it's also true that I'm who I am, and it's doubtful I could approach things any other way if I tried. Or, to quote ESR,

Quote:
(Some people assert that many hackers have a mild form of autism or Asperger's Syndrome, and are actually missing some of the brain circuitry that lubricates “normal” human social interaction. This may or may not be true. If you are not a hacker yourself, it may help you cope with our eccentricities if you think of us as being brain-damaged. Go right ahead. We won't care; we like being whatever it is we are, and generally have a healthy skepticism about clinical labels.) _


*falseyedee * :

_i think doing a retro-activing tagging effort would be far too difficult and time consuming. but asking authors to tag their stories wouldn't be a bad thing. requiring it, not so much, but asking is okay, imho._

*me:*
my reply to nypup2train

_Short version of his post...he is a fucktard who likes to try and bully women and suck cock whenever possible...ok got it.

Its of now wonder you avatar is nypup2train instead of nydogwhotrains


Just effing with you babe..**kiss kiss hug hug**_



THE END...or is it



I have to say that exchange did make me somewhat popular.....MUhahahaahah


----------



## tonynyc

BBWTexan said:


> I've thought the same thing. No need to point them out really, they've done a good job of pointing the spotlight squarely on themselves. This thread has morphed itself into a giant, steaming pile of irony.
> 
> 
> 
> This.
> 
> 
> 
> My guesses would be:
> 
> 1) Sleeping
> 2) Avoiding this thread like the plague in an attempt to maintain their collective sanity



*or aspirin - being a Mod is a very tough thankless and payfree job...*


----------



## indy500tchr

wrestlingguy said:


> Just a reminder that this was the first comment made by this lady (who I don't know at all) before there was another thread meltdown.
> 
> Does anyone else wonder why this thread hasn't been closed? Does anyone else think that Conrad is making a point by allowing this to continue?
> 
> Does everyone return here several times a day to see who else has entered the battle royal?



THANK YOU!!!! I asked the exact same question last night! I have NEVER seen more nastiness in a thread here EVER in my life but somehow it seems to be allowed to continue. Are mods not allowed to close a thread started by Conrad? This seems like a ridiculous way to prove a point.


----------



## Tooz

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> So what - are you making excuses for your behavior? I deserved it?? Tooz let me tell you something. I've seen how nasty you are in a lot of your posts. Stop judging me and look at your behavior. Your rationalization here is amazing.
> 
> So you're saying some bullying is justified as long as its not you or your friends??



lol, high horse much?

I'm a bitch, and I make no excuses. Never once did I say I was all flowers and sugar. I'm just saying that maybe YOU should come to terms with your behavior. You don't need to tell me shit.  As for you deserving it, well...I don't think I really need to comment on that, now do I?

Now, all I need to do is stay out of this thread, it's a major headache and sort of a waste. Nothing good is coming of it thus far.


----------



## exile in thighville

doesn't the "c word" lose its so-called power when a woman says it to another woman? it can't possibly be construed as demeaning to women in that case...


----------



## exile in thighville

Surlysomething said:


> who are you?



higher in rep flyer in step trick


----------



## furious styles

in threads like these i like to imagine everyone speaking their post aloud as their avatar. for example dan is a well endowed brunette woman with some sort of utensil, surlysomething is a manic cartoon sun, and angel is a talking purple flower.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

I actually find it even more upsetting coming from a woman, same thing with the word bitch. It hurts me far more to be called those words by a woman because you we women have this false idea of sisterhood running through our heads.


exile in thighville said:


> doesn't the "c word" lose its so-called power when a woman says it to another woman? it can't possibly be construed as demeaning to women in that case...


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Surlysomething said:


> Bullying anyone?
> 
> Have a differing opinion of ANYTHING on this site and you're pushed into a corner by the masses. No one defends your right voice your opinion, no one defends you from being called a cunt or twat. Even when you defend yourself you're mocked and provoked. It's quite disgusting.
> 
> Pat yourselves on the back. Good thing this is the internet and you can all hid behind your screens. Walking away is everyone's best option.
> 
> 
> Good night!




I guess that everyone has a different definition of bullying. I interpreted what I saw last night between you, thatgirl, and tony as people who just have some sort of problem with each other. You all seemed to be giving as good as you got. I didn't like the wrestling posts either so I just didn't bother to even read them. The posters may have made some valid points in there somewhere but I wouldn't know. I bet there are a lot of other people reading this thread that didn't read them either. 

I know you said that you hate how the thread keeps getting derailed but please try to understand the need for a little humor thrown in the mix. Things were getting really heated in here and it needed to be cooled down just a little bit and sometimes dogs in hats does the trick. 

While I don't think you should have been called a cunt, twat, or bitch I know in the heat of an argument things get thrown around (I told someone to take the stick outta their ass). You also dealt some low blows, its just the nature of the beast sometimes.

There are people here who will step forward and say someone has crossed the line when its really overboard, even if they dislike or disagree with the poster its directed at. Someone mentioned Sandie losing her dog many pages back and I and other posters spoke up. I think its all about the context if that makes any sense? I wouldn't expect people here to rally to my defenses if someone were to call me a bitch because that's just a name and I can always stoop to the same level and call names back. But I would be truly hurt if someone were to say I deserved something happening to my children, and no one stepped up to say I didn't deserve that. 

I don't know if this made any sense or not, it kinda does in my head but I'm also hearing "Mom, can we have pancakes for breakfast?" in there while I'm writing!


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Susannah said:


> I think that Surly is frustrated about something that really effects some of us here being turned into a laugh fest. There are plenty of threads for that. I am somebody who loves a laugh, but we are dealing with a serious topic here.
> I think Surly started out in quite a calm and measured manner trying to express that frustration. She was then derided and mocked.
> It is horrible to watch a person being attacked by many others. We are witnessing the very behaviour we are talking about first hand.



Didn't you post pictures of your dog some pages back?


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Seems to me Conrad is conducting a little social experiment. Sort of like: "If you give people enough rope, how long will it take to hang themselves."
> 
> It's genius!



You know, I think you're right. It's kind of frustrating actually, and I am a bit resentful of it.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Seems to me Conrad is conducting a little social experiment. Sort of like: "If you give people enough rope, how long will it take to hang themselves."
> 
> It's genius!



I don't know about that but I sure had fun. :happy:


----------



## LillyBBBW

KHayes666 said:


> Am I the only one who has never in his life put someone on ignore? I've been banned, blocked, deleted and ignored by thouands of forum/chatroom/myspace/facebook posters for 10 plus years and never once have I ignored anyone that's not a spam bot.
> 
> Why?
> 
> By ignoring someone you lose sight of what that person is saying in all the threads he/she posts in. This person could be insulting you, could be saying something useful that could change your opinion or could be insulting a friend of yours....and you would have no idea.
> 
> I think I may have deleted one person off my friends list in 3 plus years of myspace/facebook and only because that person was a really annoying, useless nazi that wouldn't shut up for two seconds.
> 
> That's just me though, never a fan of the ignore feature....you miss out on some good stuff sometimes lol



I only put people on ignore who post really long and boring stories all the time. Nasty is a lesser sin in my view.


----------



## Miss Vickie

fatgirlflyin said:


> I guess that everyone has a different definition of bullying. I interpreted what I saw last night between you, thatgirl, and tony as people who just have some sort of problem with each other. You all seemed to be giving as good as you got.



That's how I saw it, too. I looked online for definitions of bullies and bullying and they most seem to center around intimidation and one person being weaker than the other. Like the big kid beating up on a much smaller, weaker child. Since we're all adults and equals here, I don't see how any of what's gone on here could be conceived as bullying. To me it's just garden variety online fighting. It happens. It blows over. No biggie.



> I didn't like the wrestling posts either so I just didn't bother to even read them. The posters may have made some valid points in there somewhere but I wouldn't know. I bet there are a lot of other people reading this thread that didn't read them either.



*raises hand* I don't understand what the wrestling stuff is about either, so I ignored it. Easy to do, if people don't like something -- ignore it.



> Someone mentioned Sandie losing her dog many pages back and I and other posters spoke up. I think its all about the context if that makes any sense? I wouldn't expect people here to rally to my defenses if someone were to call me a bitch because that's just a name and I can always stoop to the same level and call names back. But I would be truly hurt if someone were to say I deserved something happening to my children, and no one stepped up to say I didn't deserve that.



Yes. This. The dog thing was over the top and just plain mean. Sandie and I have had our go-rounds but bringing in something so intensely personal and painful is just, to me, cruel and unnecessary. I'm glad he apologized.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Surlysomething said:


> A forum on bullying and I get repeatedly attacked personally and no one does anything. Pretty mind boggling but not surprising at all. Yes, I have a differing view and hated that this thread went the way of most threads (down the toilet). Did I deserve the crap thrown at me? No. I'm not a thread derailer or a nasty private messager but look at the way i've been jumped on.
> 
> Pretty good exercise in how well managed this place is and how kind, empathetic and intelligent the posters are. Same players acting like idiots, same players who obviously don't have satisfying lives outside of here.
> 
> 
> Disappointing, hell yes. This from a comment asking how wrestling applied to the issue. Pretty nice, eh?



In their defense I think at one point either Conrad or one of the Mods commented that this thread would not be moderated at all. Niether racial slurs or Godwin's law will provoke the Mods to move if this is true.


----------



## DeniseW

I am shocked at some of the things I've read by people I consider friends and have known for 15 years or so(you know who I mean). I wish I had the balls to say what I really mean but then he'll come after me and I just don't have any fight in me today but I am looking at someone in a whole different way and as of now, have no respect for someone I considered a gentlemen, you sir, are no gentleman!!. You should be ashamed. 







Tooz said:


> Surlysomething definitely just got bullied like all hell. Less than cool, especially with some of the immature comments slung at her. By friends of mine, at that. This is making me sad, but it is a prime example of why I've been coming here less.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Miss Vickie said:


> That's how I saw it, too. I looked online for definitions of bullies and bullying and they most seem to center around intimidation and one person being weaker than the other. Like the big kid beating up on a much smaller, weaker child. Since we're all adults and equals here, I don't see how any of what's gone on here could be conceived as bullying. To me it's just garden variety online fighting. It happens. It blows over. No biggie.
> 
> 
> 
> **raises hand* I don't understand what the wrestling stuff is about either, so I ignored it. Easy to do, if people don't like something -- ignore it.*
> 
> 
> 
> Yes. This. The dog thing was over the top and just plain mean. Sandie and I have had our go-rounds but bringing in something so intensely personal and painful is just, to me, cruel and unnecessary. I'm glad he apologized.



I just had the best night's sleep ever! :happy: I went to bed at 2am and woke at 11:30. I'm really interested in this topic but had to step through tons and TONS of posts adding up to a social experiment gone horribly wrong. I find it interesting that people who don't like irrelevant posts are being asked to suck up an ignore it, yet those who didn't like hyde park are now dancing around with glee that it's gone and can petulatly stamp their foot not only in the Lounge but in any place on this board if even a hint of seriousness appears. There are different rules for different people, of that I am also convinced.


----------



## katorade

Miss Vickie said:


> That's how I saw it, too. I looked online for definitions of bullies and bullying and they most seem to center around intimidation and one person being weaker than the other. Like the big kid beating up on a much smaller, weaker child. Since we're all adults and equals here, I don't see how any of what's gone on here could be conceived as bullying. To me it's just garden variety online fighting. It happens. It blows over. No biggie.



Exactly. You can't exactly call it bullying if you're dishing out the same level of vitriol as your opponents. If you don't want people to call you nasty names, then don't give them any reason to, and I mean ANY reason.

If you know someone is going to punch you in the face for crossing your eyes at them, and you don't want to get punched, then the answer is simply don't cross your eyes when looking at them. 

You might say "but that's the stupidest reason to ever punch someone in the face. I'm not going to stop crossing my eyes because they don't like it!" That's fine and dandy, and that's your right, but you just willingly stepped into the ring to stand up for what you think is a worthy battle, and that's not bullying. 

Don't say nobody warned you when you walk out with a black eye.


----------



## Miss Vickie

LillyBBBW said:


> I just had the best night's sleep ever! :happy: I went to bed at 2am and woke at 11:30. I'm really interested in this topic but had to step through tons and TONS of posts adding up to a social experiment gone horribly wrong. I find it interesting that people who don't like irrelevant posts are being asked to suck up an ignore it, yet those who didn't like hyde park are now dancing around with glee that it's gone and can petulatly stamp their foot not only in the Lounge but in any place on this board if even a hint of seriousness appears. There are different rules for different people, of that I am also convinced.



"Social experiment gone horribly wrong" -- ya got that right! This isn't the first Dimensions clusterfuck but I think it's the first one deliberately set by Conrad. In that way it's a little unusual -- usually they seem to just spring up spontaneously. But I do think that it'll blow over. Or not. Even the worst threads on HP eventually would have blown over if they hadn't been closed, or perhaps may have evolved into more productive discussions. But when we close threads (and I understand why threads are closed) we prevent them from resolving. Maybe I give people too much credit but I do think that eventually we can work through stuff and come to a better understanding.

And yes, lots of people seem more than happy that Hyde Park is gone. Funny, innit?

My philosophy about the internet has always been -- don't like it? Ignore it! I hate the idea of feeding (sorry, guys...) and so rather than kick up a fuss or try to exert control over other people, I just avoid the Weight Board, although some of the fat sex threads are fun and interesting. I'm not wild about the objectification of women (even by their own hands) on the Paysite Board so I... ignore it. I ignore _lots_ of stuff, either because it offends my sensitive sensibilities *smirk* or just because it's not my thing.

And you know what? I still can find lots of interesting threads and posts to read here. So for those people who think this thread is silly or stupid or the people in it are being silly or stupid, why not find something else to read? Why feel the need to pass judgment on it?


----------



## LillyBBBW

Miss Vickie said:


> "Social experiment gone horribly wrong" -- ya got that right! This isn't the first Dimensions clusterfuck but I think it's the first one deliberately set by Conrad. In that way it's a little unusual -- usually they seem to just spring up spontaneously. But I do think that it'll blow over. Or not. Even the worst threads on HP eventually would have blown over if they hadn't been closed, or perhaps may have evolved into more productive discussions. But when we close threads (and I understand why threads are closed) we prevent them from resolving. Maybe I give people too much credit but I do think that eventually we can work through stuff and come to a better understanding.
> 
> And yes, lots of people seem more than happy that Hyde Park is gone. Funny, innit?
> 
> My philosophy about the internet has always been -- don't like it? Ignore it! I hate the idea of feeding (sorry, guys...) and so rather than kick up a fuss or try to exert control over other people, I just avoid the Weight Board, although some of the fat sex threads are fun and interesting. I'm not wild about the objectification of women (even by their own hands) on the Paysite Board so I... ignore it. I ignore _lots_ of stuff, either because it offends my sensitive sensibilities *smirk* or just because it's not my thing.
> 
> And you know what? I still can find lots of interesting threads and posts to read here. So for those people who think this thread is silly or stupid or the people in it are being silly or stupid, why not find something else to read? Why feel the need to pass judgment on it?



Something else to read where? I think the reason people continue to read in these clusterfucks is because they are interesting in the intended topic and want to glean something from that.


----------



## Miss Vickie

LillyBBBW said:


> Something else to read where? I think the reason people continue to read in these clusterfucks is because they are interesting in the intended topic and want to glean something from that.



You mean like watching a horrible car accident as you drive on by? Like that?


----------



## exile in thighville

fatgirlflyin said:


> I actually find it even more upsetting coming from a woman, same thing with the word bitch. It hurts me far more to be called those words by a woman because you we women have this false idea of sisterhood running through our heads.



it shouldn't, considering they're just words and sometimes true



furious styles said:


> in threads like these i like to imagine everyone speaking their post aloud as their avatar. for example dan is a well endowed brunette woman with some sort of utensil



this sounds about right


----------



## LillyBBBW

Miss Vickie said:


> You mean like watching a horrible car accident as you drive on by? Like that?



LOL! Yeah I'm sure that's a part of it for as lot of people.  But for many the object is to see the sign behind the fire truck that reads, "New York - exit 10A - 2 miles." I mean sure, people who don't want to read wrestling inuendos can leave but I feel that there is irony that wrestling purveyors can stay yet people who want to talk about the intended subject should leave or employ brevity for the common good.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

exile in thighville said:


> it shouldn't, considering they're just words and sometimes true



You know I agree that it shouldn't, but it just does.


----------



## exile in thighville

fatgirlflyin said:


> You know I agree that it shouldn't, but it just does.



only if you let it really


----------



## mossystate

LillyBBBW said:


> I mean sure, people who don't want to read wrestling inuendos can leave but I feel that there is irony that wrestling purveyors can stay yet people who want to talk about the intended subject should leave or employ brevity for the common good.



True. I guess it just depends on what dogs you have your money on. Proves that none of what is being talked about means anything...really. If people can change gears so quickly, depending on if they like the person posting, then this will be the biggest clusterfuck/infamous/pointless thread...ever. I guess that is something. Woo, and, hoo.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

exile in thighville said:


> only if you let it really




Ok I know, and this is probably going to sound sexist, but as a guy I think that's easy for you to say. I truly don't mean that with any disrespect either, just that I think we view the words differently. Being called a bitch or a cunt isn't going to devastate me or make want me to end my life or anything, but it does cut, doubly if a woman flings those words at me. Maybe because I've been on the receiving end (from someone who supposedly loved me) too many times when the words were meant to demean me to allow them to not have any effect on me. That's my burden to carry, I get that. 

Don't you have words that set you on edge if someone were to apply them to you? If not, I admire that.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

What makes me sad about this thread is that people are losing friends over words on a discussion board. That's sad

On the other hand I think I have learned a lot about some posters I _thought_ I didn't like.


----------



## thatgirl08

I owe Surly an apology for calling her a cunt. The word was too strong for the situation, I was just heated. I stand by everything else I said.


----------



## chicken legs

I have to say you internet bullies are a bunch of jerks

i love this song....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv9VKKXwVxU



Seriously ...some of you ...and you know who you are...are very nasty..especially behind the scenes. When i really started posting on the main boards and aquired the attention of 2 very sexy ssbhm's.... all hell broke lose. Lies were spread and two very delusional cougars really showed their true colors. 

i would post more but i am getting squashed at the moment.


----------



## Miss Vickie

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> What makes me sad about this thread is that people are losing friends over words on a discussion board. That's sad
> 
> On the other hand I think I have learned a lot about some posters I _thought_ I didn't like.



I think this thread, like most things in life, has both good and bad elements. The hard feelings make me sad, but the ways in which people have reached out to each other and apologized are pretty damn cool!


----------



## Paquito

Miss Vickie said:


> I think this thread, like most things in life, has both good and bad elements. The hard feelings make me sad, but the ways in which people have reached out to each other and apologized are pretty damn cool!



I agree. We've seen some pretty nasty things in this thread, but we've also had tons of posters own up to their mistakes and apologize for those actions, which I think is great. It shows that we can all (wo)man up, do some introsepction, and come out the other end better.


----------



## rainyday

All without a beer summit.


----------



## mossystate

rainyday said:


> All without a beer summit.




There was Kool-Aid.

Lots and lots of Kool-Aid.


Mixed it up, myself. :happy: Call me Mossbama.


----------



## KHayes666

furious styles said:


> in threads like these i like to imagine everyone speaking their post aloud as their avatar. for example dan is a well endowed brunette woman with some sort of utensil, surlysomething is a manic cartoon sun, and angel is a talking purple flower.



That makes me Reptile, no wonder why I'm so evil in some of my posts. *jump kicks you*

Actually that brew-hardy-har-har a few pages back was far more venomous than I've been all thread.

If ThatGirl gets that heated and passionate, can't wait to ask her out :wubu: lol


----------



## Weeze

KHayes666 said:


> If ThatGirl gets that heated and passionate, can't wait to ask her out :wubu: lol



she has a boyfriend.

you're a man-slut


----------



## AshleyEileen

This thread sure is something else.


----------



## KHayes666

krismiss said:


> she has a boyfriend.
> 
> you're a man-slut



*pats you on the bum and kisses your cheek, then walks away smiling*

I know she has a b/f ;-)


----------



## Wagimawr

AshleyEileen said:


> This thread sure is something else.


INDEED....


----------



## Angel

furious styles said:


> in threads like these i like to imagine everyone speaking their post aloud as their avatar. for example dan is a well endowed brunette woman with some sort of utensil, surlysomething is a manic cartoon sun, and angel is a talking purple flower.



LOL 


My apologies if I haven't been quite the image of a beautiful purple angle face rose.


anyone wanna take bets on who will be the next to get things stirred up again?


----------



## mergirl

Betamax said:


> imdrunk and this thread MAKEs me laugh
> 
> and drrool a tiny bit.:wubu:



Best post yes! I vote this post wins the cake!! :wubu:


----------



## Paquito

mergirl said:


> Best post yes! I vote this post wins the cake!! :wubu:



I totally tried to say that, but the post got kinda lost in the flame war...

Best introduction post ever!


----------



## mergirl

free2beme04 said:


> I totally tried to say that, but the post got kinda lost in the flame war...
> 
> Best introduction post ever!



To right!! Though..do you think better than manworm? Its a close call!


----------



## Ned Sonntag

I thought it said 'Forum Bellies'.:blush:


----------



## mergirl

Ned Sonntag said:


> I thought it said 'Forum Bellies'.:blush:



Yeah, ned. That was just a freudian stumble into a thorny bush.
A thorny bush of sexyness!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Mini

Am I the only one who actually *enjoys* trading barbs with people? Fuck, it's how I bond.

Perhaps that's why my closest friends are bastards, but eh, at least they're funny.


----------



## exile in thighville

Mini said:


> Am I the only one who actually *enjoys* trading barbs with people? Fuck, it's how I bond.



this is exactly why 75% of this board should only be permitted to spectate while we entertain


----------



## exile in thighville

thatgirl08 said:


> I owe Surly an apology for calling her a cunt. The word was too strong for the situation, I was just heated. I stand by everything else I said.



I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WIMPED OUT YOU CUNT


----------



## Mini

exile in thighville said:


> this is exactly why 75% of this board should only be permitted to spectate while we entertain



But then who would post pictures of boobs? I mean, I've seen yours and they just don't do anything for me.


----------



## exile in thighville

YOU CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT


----------



## mszwebs

Mini said:


> Am I the only one who actually *enjoys* trading barbs with people? Fuck, it's how I bond.
> 
> Perhaps that's why my closest friends are bastards, but eh, *at least they're funny*.



Apparently except for THIS guy? 


Actually, I very much enjoy trading barbs with my friends...and I am sad that most of the wittier ones have moved away. Kept me on my toes.


----------



## Mini

mszwebs said:


> Apparently except for THIS guy?
> 
> 
> Actually, I very much enjoy trading barbs with my friends...and I am sad that most of the wittier ones have moved away. Kept me on my toes.



He's the exception in that he's one of the few genuinely decent guys I know.


----------



## mszwebs

Mini said:


> He's the exception in that he's one of the few genuinely decent guys I know.



Well, I know the fact that I can't be a decent human being and sling a good barb at the same time has always been part of my internal struggle...so I understand the pressure to perform 

Good to see you're cutting him slack, though.


----------



## Miss Vickie

Angel said:


> anyone wanna take bets on who will be the next to get things stirred up again?



Yeah, because that's not stirring the pot at all, is it, "Angel"?


----------



## Wayne_Zitkus

Mini said:


> I wouldn't wish Texas on my worst enemy.


After living in Colorado for 11 years, Texas seems like Paradise to me. Southern Colorado (especially the area around Pueblo) is the Armpit Of The West.


----------



## BarbBBW

i like how my name is used without it actually being about "me" hehehe


----------



## LillyBBBW

mossystate said:


> True. I guess it just depends on what dogs you have your money on. Proves that none of what is being talked about means anything...really. If people can change gears so quickly, depending on if they like the person posting, then this will be the biggest clusterfuck/infamous/pointless thread...ever. I guess that is something. Woo, and, hoo.



Maybe and then maybe not. I think it's the nature of people to exist comfortably with the things they like and maybe not so much with the things they don't. Just because one may like someone doesn't mean they will like everything they do.


----------



## KHayes666

BarbBBW said:


> i like how my name is used without it actually being about "me" hehehe



*pounces on you and kisses you all over*


----------



## mossystate

LillyBBBW said:


> Maybe and then maybe not. I think it's the nature of people to exist comfortably with the things they like and maybe not so much with the things they don't. Just because one may like someone doesn't mean they will like everything they do.



Yeah, that's the maybe and maybe not thing. Just referring to ' pouncing ' ( true pouncing, not disagreement ), when one says they don't do such things such things. Who's on first?


----------



## tonynyc

Sadly there will be No Cake today
Thanks to these Happy Slobbering -Cake Stealing Pooches


----------



## Shosh

tonynyc said:


> Sadly there will be No Cake today
> Thanks to these Happy Slobbering -Cake Stealing Pooches



Hahahaha! That made me laugh so much. My doggie gets kind of hypnotized around food. She is a typical Labrador.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Susannah said:


> Hahahaha! That made me laugh so much. My doggie gets kind of hypnotized around food. She is a typical Labrador.



Isn't that funny? I found that gif disturbing. I was thinking, "OMG, what's wrong with that dog?!?" lol


----------



## imfree

BarbBBW said:


> i like how my name is used without it actually being about "me" hehehe



Hahaha!, you're one Barb I wouldn't trade for anything
in the world, you're just too much fun!:bow:


----------



## BarbBBW

KHayes666 said:


> *pounces on you and kisses you all over*





imfree said:


> Hahaha!, you're one Barb I wouldn't trade for anything
> in the world, you're just too much fun!:bow:



thanks Guys!! you are the best!!:kiss2:


----------



## tonynyc

LillyBBBW said:


> Isn't that funny? I found that gif disturbing. I was thinking, "OMG, what's wrong with that dog?!?" lol



Perhaps too much Hyde Park


----------



## tonynyc

Susannah said:


> Hahahaha! That made me laugh so much. My doggie gets kind of hypnotized around food. She is a typical Labrador.



Yes Shosh - but this dog took "The Forum" Cake....
I don't think the Dog Whisperer could do anything about this


----------



## tonynyc

mszwebs said:


> Actually, I very much enjoy trading barbs with my friends...and I am sad that most of the wittier ones have moved away. Kept me on my toes.



*September 10th, 2009 8:30PM*


----------



## mergirl

Hmm.. i got a two week holiday for "Inappropriate language and insulting other members". Shouldn't like everyone be banned now. Cept the people who have been here for 5 years and have made one post. HELL ban them too, the lazy bastards!!! Oh shit, thats me on the 'M' list again too.. Grrrrrrrrrr Dims.. see what you do to me!!!!!:goodbye:


----------



## tonynyc

*Think of it as a BAN-FREE ZONE... *


Now Mer- you have more pull than anyone I know ... how many folks in the history of Dims get Banned and have two or more threads devoted to them in their absence?... Plus you've come back to A "Ticker Tape Parade" Welcoming... that is stuff!!!!!


----------



## exile in thighville

all of my existing violations are for insulting handicapped members and ronald reagan


----------



## mergirl

exile in thighville said:


> all of my existing violations are for insulting handicapped members and ronald reagan



Isn't that just two insults in one? Ahh..that kind of member.


----------



## mergirl

tonynyc said:


> *Think of it as a BAN-FREE ZONE... *
> 
> 
> Now Mer- you have more pull than anyone I know ... how many folks in the history of Dims get Banned and have two or more threads devoted to them in their absence?... Plus you've come back to A "Ticker Tape Parade" Welcoming... that is stuff!!!!!



I guess it is stuff!!!!. Thank you. Though, technically the two threads were started by my gf, so i don't think they really count. lmao. The belly parade was such a nice surprise though!!


----------



## KHayes666

exile in thighville said:


> all of my existing violations are for insulting handicapped members and ronald reagan



Hey! What the hell is wrong with you? Why in the world would you insult Ronald Reagan, what did he ever do to you? 

lol


----------



## OneWickedAngel

tonynyc said:


> *September 10th, 2009 8:30PM*



*Are ya ready for some...?*


----------



## tonynyc

OneWickedAngel said:


> *Are ya ready for some...?*



*LOL  yes I will be ready - but will they *


----------



## exile in thighville

KHayes666 said:


> Hey! What the hell is wrong with you? Why in the world would you insult Ronald Reagan, what did he ever do to you?
> 
> lol



instituted and popularized crack rap, to be eclipsed by aids rap come 2015


----------



## Mini

exile in thighville said:


> instituted and popularized crack rap, to be eclipsed by aids rap come 2015



Idiot! The world ends in 2012.


----------



## TotallyReal

Cool thread and a really interesting concept.... why does some people take it upon themselves to be "forum bullies" and what can be done. I think it is a very big problem on communities and forums, and unless something is done it would not be hard to imagine a future where it is imsspobile to post anything without fear of being bullied or trolled. What would happen then? Would we stop talking? Would we no longer even need to talk. No one can answer this questions and that's the biggest problem about web bullying and trolling -- it could destroy something that we all love and we wouldn't even know it had become to happen. Just something to think about, thanks for the great link.


----------



## moore2me

Quote from Exile in Thighville: "all of my existing violations are for insulting handicapped members and ronald reagan"



mergirl said:


> Isn't that just two insults in one? Ahh..that kind of member.



Moore's comment ---- Actually, I think it would be three insults in one . . . if you added insulting dead presidents.


----------



## mergirl

moore2me said:


> Moore's comment ---- Actually, I think it would be three insults in one . . . if you added insulting dead presidents.



yeah, don't you get the electric chair for that in America?


----------



## Shosh

LillyBBBW said:


> Isn't that funny? I found that gif disturbing. I was thinking, "OMG, what's wrong with that dog?!?" lol



Here is my doggie Cindy. She smiles at the mention of food. See how her eyes are kind of glazed over!

View attachment Cin.jpg


----------



## mergirl

Susannah said:


> Here is my doggie Cindy. She smiles at the mention of food. See how her eyes are kind of glazed over!
> 
> View attachment 68137



She has very concerned eyebrows!!!


----------



## Shosh

mergirl said:


> She has very concerned eyebrows!!!



Yes! She has so much personality. I could have sworn I heard her say hello after I said hello to her this morning.


----------



## DeniseW

She probably did, Barbara Walter's dog does....lol





Susannah said:


> Yes! She has so much personality. I could have sworn I heard her say hello after I said hello to her this morning.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Susannah said:


> Here is my doggie Cindy. She smiles at the mention of food. See how her eyes are kind of glazed over!
> 
> View attachment 68137



You saying that and then looking at her eyes made me chuckle


----------



## tonynyc

Susannah said:


> Here is my doggie Cindy. She smiles at the mention of food. See how her eyes are kind of glazed over!
> 
> View attachment 68137



That is a cute doggy- I bet she gets treated to only the best stuff


----------



## Shosh

tonynyc said:


> That is a cute doggy- I bet she gets treated to only the best stuff



Yes she sure does. I bought her premium kangaroo meat this week, and it is expensive.:bow:


----------



## tonynyc

Susannah said:


> Yes she sure does. I bought her premium kangaroo meat this week, and it is expensive.:bow:



Do folks eat kangaroo meat or is that only "pet" food. I knew that Cindy got the best of everything - you can just see it.


----------



## Shosh

tonynyc said:


> Do folks eat kangaroo meat or is that only "pet" food. I knew that Cindy got the best of everything - you can just see it.



Humans eat Kangaroo meat also. I do not eat it, but that is me. I eat chicken and beef.


----------



## littlefairywren

Susannah said:


> Here is my doggie Cindy. She smiles at the mention of food. See how her eyes are kind of glazed over!
> 
> View attachment 68137



Susannah, I just want to smother your Cindy with kisses and cuddles She is just adorable!!! That look is priceless:happy:


----------



## Shosh

kmdkml said:


> Susannah, I just want to smother your Cindy with kisses and cuddles She is just adorable!!! That look is priceless:happy:



She is the sweetest, happiest and most gentle dog. I just love her to bits and pieces. She is VERY spoilt by me.


----------



## Sugar

Susannah said:


> She is the sweetest, happiest and most gentle dog. I just love her to bits and pieces. She is VERY spoilt by me.



IMHO all dogs should be so lucky.


----------



## stldpn

I am obviously not a frequent poster here. But seeing this makes me reflect on the way I've probably been percieved in posts on other boards all the way back to my usenet days. I've always been a person who was entirely unafraid to offer my unpopular opinion on the web. Especially when someone pecked out some inane anecdote concerning something I felt strongly about and added those fatalistic words "so what do you guys think?" It's interesting to me how easily some people can regard a difference of opinion as a sign of low faculty. While it's true that many opinions in a general forum are the kind of ill informed drivel that would make your head hurt if you had to sit next to that person on a bus from muncie to shreveport, the beauty of a forum is that you generally have several options available to you if you really want to avoid a poster, thread, or subject that you find less than appealing. So, with that in mind, I always encourage anyone who thinks they can judge my character based upon my opinion and the way I express it electronically to excercise their option to skip my hurried ESL styled posts even though I really do think now and then that I come up with some colorful illustrations of my own opinion. 

Anyway, back to topic, I think by and large I've definitely seen plenty of the behaviours that the article describes. However, I do think that in many ways the author has prescribed a premeditation to the behaviour that I just don't think exists. Most of the "Forum Bullies" that I've seen seem to exist not because they enjoy torturing others publicly, but because they honestly take the forum and the community it's attached to a little too seriously. If you're staking the whole of your ego and reputation on the way people percieve you in an online forum. Well, it's kind of empty, and I don't think anyone sets out to do that.


----------



## stan_der_man

No bully thread is complete without a picture of Teddy Roosevelt...







Despite how it may have been done in the past... I prefer to do my bullying by speaking loudly and carrying a small stick which I use to whack my opponent into submission to the tune of this song... *thwap thwap thwap*


C'mon guys... haven't we discussed this enough!? Whaddaya say we call it quits and go out for a nice game of golf...?


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Susannah said:


> Here is my doggie Cindy. She smiles at the mention of food. See how her eyes are kind of glazed over!
> 
> View attachment 68137




awwwww!!! You can totally tell she is smiling for the camera!!! I had a dog like that...my best friend ever. You are so blessed to have Cindy in your life:wubu:


----------



## Shosh

BigBellySSBBW said:


> awwwww!!! You can totally tell she is smiling for the camera!!! I had a dog like that...my best friend ever. You are so blessed to have Cindy in your life:wubu:



The thing is BigBelly is that Cindy is always smiling like that whether the camera is on or not. She is just a beautiful natured dog like that.
I am very blessed to be sure.


----------



## tonynyc

fa_man_stan said:


> No bully thread is complete without a picture of Teddy Roosevelt...
> 
> C'mon guys... haven't we discussed this enough!? Whaddaya say we call it quits and go out for a nice game of golf...?



*Is it Safe? *


----------



## Spanky

fa_man_stan said:


> No bully thread is complete without a picture of Teddy Roosevelt...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Despite how it may have been done in the past... I prefer to do my bullying by speaking loudly and carrying a small stick which I use to whack my opponent into submission to the tune of this song... *thwap thwap thwap*
> 
> 
> C'mon guys... haven't we discussed this enough!? Whaddaya say we call it quits and go out for a nice game of golf...?



Teddy Roosevelt National Park, North Dakota (Stan's 49th favorite state, I've heard!). I was just there last June. Wonderful place. Medora, ND. You'd love it, Stan. Wild buffalo, Maah Daah Hey Mountain Bike Trail (95 miles long), grasslands, wonderful motorcycle riding, truly a hidden gem in America. 

Don't tell yer Cali friends, it is just our little secret.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I have to say that some things are definitely a matter of perspective....
How did Brooklyn Red Leg bully anyone? I never saw it, to be honest...
I only noticed him on the weight board and the BHM board...and he always seemed nice. I have actually repped him a couple of times for always being good to the ladies with nice comments......


----------



## LillyBBBW

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I have to say that some things are definitely a matter of perspective....
> How did Brooklyn Red Leg bully anyone? I never saw it, to be honest...
> I only noticed him on the weight board and the BHM board...and he always seemed nice. I have actually repped him a couple of times for always being good to the ladies with nice comments......



He nearly had a cow in the "Handgun Violence" thread in HP. He was gung ho about second amendment rights to the point of near bedlam. His fervor was something to behold, otherwise I liked him a lot.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

LillyBBBW said:


> He nearly had a cow in the "Handgun Violence" thread in HP. He was gung ho about second amendment rights to the point of near bedlam. His fervor was something to behold, otherwise I liked him a lot.




Lol, the things I missed in Hyde Park 

I figured it must have been in Hyde Park- because he otherwise seemed quite harmless to me.


----------



## tonynyc




----------



## LillyBBBW

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Lol, the things I missed in Hyde Park
> 
> I figured it must have been in Hyde Park- because he otherwise seemed quite harmless to me.



Yeah, you could almost see his face and ears turn red with smoke coming out when he typed about that particular subject. He could not be reasoned with. Like you, I liked him though. That was just one of his quirks.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

P.S. I support private handgun ownership. Not enough to argue endlessly over it on the net- life is too short. 

However...some people DO have too many guns.....but it's not up to me to say how much is too much I suppose.

Oh well....life goes on. 

I don't have to agree with someone about everything to like them.....it's funny how some people seem to need that- I imagine that it's quite hard to find though......


----------



## wrestlingguy

The hell with this thread............I'm heading over to the New Jersey Bash thread now in the events section. Aris is gving out free condoms!!!


----------



## TraciJo67

LillyBBBW said:


> Yeah, you could almost see his face and ears turn red with smoke coming out when he typed about that particular subject. He could not be reasoned with. Like you, I liked him though. That was just one of his quirks.



I liked that about him, though I didn't agree with his position. He was fun to "debate" with


----------



## BarbBBW

wrestlingguy said:


> The hell with this thread............I'm heading over to the New Jersey Bash thread now in the events section. Aris is gving out free condoms!!!



Dont forget and CHOCOLATE BAKED GOODS!!:bow:


----------



## steely

wrestlingguy said:


> The hell with this thread............I'm heading over to the New Jersey Bash thread now in the events section. Aris is gving out free condoms!!!



Those would be for Mini, he's going to need them from the line that's forming in front of him!


----------



## stan_der_man

tonynyc said:


> *Is it Safe? *



Just speak softly and carry a big stick... you'll be safe... It worked for Teddy! 



Spanky said:


> Teddy Roosevelt National Park, North Dakota (Stan's 49th favorite state, I've heard!). I was just there last June. Wonderful place. Medora, ND. You'd love it, Stan. Wild buffalo, Maah Daah Hey Mountain Bike Trail (95 miles long), grasslands, wonderful motorcycle riding, truly a hidden gem in America.
> 
> Don't tell yer Cali friends, it is just our little secret.



Mum's the word Spanky! If ND ever winds up crawling with Californians, it wasn't me who spilled the beans...  I was only briefly in Fargo once and drove down the eastern end of the state (I seem to remember it was at night...), but I've been through SD a couple of times. I agree, it's beautiful country up there! I enjoyed exploring Nebraska, South Dakota, Wisconsin and Minnesota. I looked at getting a masters degree in Minneapolis, Madison or Fargo but life took me other directions. I imagine Medora, ND is a beautiful place!


----------



## collared Princess

would a bully be someone who starts a thread about you to make fun of you? just wondering..


----------



## LillyBBBW

collared Princess said:


> would a bully be someone who starts a thread about you to make fun of you? just wondering..



If you're a celebrity or hold public office, no. If you're just a poster here on Dims then yes.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

LillyBBBW said:


> If you're a celebrity or hold public office, no. If you're just a poster here on Dims then yes.



However, someone who has been on tv, magazines, has a website....would be considered a celebrity within the community.

yes, my thread was mean. It wasn't directed towards you even though it was about you. It was to point out how ridiculous things are.

Everyone is allowed to be mean once in a while without being tagged a bully. I admit hands down I was mean, but Im not sorry for it. I do not approve of anyone chopping off both arms with a rusty butter knife...which is pretty much...oh never mind..this thread isn't for that.


----------



## swamptoad

Webmaster said:


> Saw this really good article on forum bullies. Gotta watch out for them critters. If we have any, let me know.





Ah, more interesting reading. :bow: Some beneficial "anecdotal" nuggets of wisdom to be found in the reading ..mixed in with some good 'ole common sense.


----------



## LillyBBBW

BigBellySSBBW said:


> However, someone who has been on tv, magazines, has a website....would be considered a celebrity within the community.
> 
> yes, my thread was mean. It wasn't directed towards you even though it was about you. It was to point out how ridiculous things are.
> 
> Everyone is allowed to be mean once in a while without being tagged a bully. I admit hands down I was mean, but Im not sorry for it. I do not approve of anyone chopping off both arms with a rusty butter knife...which is pretty much...oh never mind..this thread isn't for that.



So that makes you and I fair game? I don't particularly like that analogy or the idea of giving someone that kind of power to judge me for things that don't concern them.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

LillyBBBW said:


> So that makes you and I fair game? I don't particularly like that analogy or the idea of giving someone that kind of power to judge me for things that don't concern them.



So you wouldn't have an opinion of someone who had a small child and cut off both of her arms for shits and giggles? How would you feel if your mother did that, on purpose.

Ive never been in a magazine lilly, Ive never been on TV...Im hardly a celebrity. I can be fair game if you want me to be though.

And as for it not concerning me...she shouldn't bring it to the boards then....where it will be discussed and debated and people will have strong opinions...such as myself.


----------



## LillyBBBW

BigBellySSBBW said:


> So you wouldn't have an opinion of someone who had a small child and cut off both of her arms for shits and giggles? How would you feel if your mother did that, on purpose.
> 
> Ive never been in a magazine lilly, Ive never been on TV...Im hardly a celebrity. I can be fair game if you want me to be though.
> 
> And as for it not concerning me...she shouldn't bring it to the boards then....where it will be discussed and debated and people will have strong opinions...such as myself.



I've been on tv quite a few times. I sing in a major symphony chorus so I got some face time quite a bit. Once I was interviewed in a documentary about race relations when I was 15. I was featured in the Glamour 'Dos and Don'ts' section as a Don't three times. I made a joke in Hyde Park about giving shoe beatings to children as a stress reliever which received boos, hisses and negative reviews. Someone could easily extrapolate and start a thread about me calling me a fat assed phoney who dresses funny. To be honest I might find it amusing and even participate myself but if it was really nasty, taking something personal that I shared in a forum designated for its use and tarred and feathered me without reprisal then no, I wouldn't like it. I, the personal I, would consider it bullying.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

LillyBBBW said:


> I've been on tv quite a few times. I sing in a major symphony chorus so I got some face time quite a bit. Once I was interviewed in a documentary about race relations when I was 15. I was featured in the Glamour 'Dos and Don'ts' section as a Don't three times. I made a joke in Hyde Park about giving shoe beatings to children as a stress reliever which received boos, hisses and negative reviews. Someone could easily extrapolate and start a thread about me calling me a fat assed phoney who dresses funny. To be honest I might find it amusing and even participate myself but if it was really nasty, taking something personal that I shared in a forum designated for its use and tarred and feathered me without reprisal then no, I wouldn't like it. I, the personal I, would consider it bullying.



I didn't call anyone anything. I made a satirical thread based on someone else. It wasn't meant to get me "power" which is what bullying is. It was meant to show how ridiculous things look sometimes.

And what does your singing have to do with your sex life??? All of CPs posts, magazine articles (and there have been at least 2 or 3 here in the uk), her tv appearances both talk show and documentary are all about ONE THING. That makes her a celebrity...or a media whore as it states in the wiki definition of celebrity.

But ok fine, Im a bully. Yay. Do I get a fanclub now?

and ps. Anything I put out here/there in public IS fair game....that's human socilisation for ya!


----------



## Tooz

LillyBBBW said:


> I was featured in the Glamour 'Dos and Don'ts' section as a Don't three times.



?!!? But you always look so sharp.


----------



## LillyBBBW

Tooz said:


> ?!!? But you always look so sharp.



I had a mohawk and carried more than one bag at one point and I fell for the Madonna fingerless lace gloves craze at one time when I was in my 20's. It didn't help that I spent lots of time in mostly corporate areas.


----------



## Tooz

LillyBBBW said:


> I had a mohawk and carried more than one bag at one point and I fell for the Madonna fingerless lace gloves craze at one time when I was in my 20's. It didn't help that I spent lots of time in mostly corporate areas.



Well, haters gonna hate, _I_ think you can do no wrong.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

LillyBBBW said:


> I had a mohawk and carried more than one bag at one point and I fell for the Madonna fingerless lace gloves craze at one time when I was in my 20's. It didn't help that I spent lots of time in mostly corporate areas.



I never go by Glamour magazines do's and don'ts.....honestly, who wants to be a carbon copy?

Mohawks are cool....and if Im not mistaken....werent you 20 in the 80's? Comeon...everyone was don't in the 80's. But not in my mind. I love the 80's


----------



## LillyBBBW

BigBellySSBBW said:


> I never go by Glamour magazines do's and don'ts.....honestly, who wants to be a carbon copy?
> 
> Mohawks are cool....and if Im not mistaken....werent you 20 in the 80's? Comeon...everyone was don't in the 80's. But not in my mind. I love the 80's



LOL They weren't after me for the mohawk believe it or not. The mohawk just made me an easy target. I had a giant duffel bag for gym clothes and I carried a plaid atache case for my music scores and I was wearing a pair of plaid trousers with suspenders that clashed with the plaid bag. The black bar ran across my face as I was looking down rummaging through a small purse I carried in the duffel bag. Glamour HATES people who carry more than one bag. The other time I was wearing lace stockings with an pale plaid a-line skirt and zipper boots and I had on lace fingerless gloves, a Zorro hat and a sweater vest. My friends said they thought I looked cute but the mag thought I looked busy and confused. The other one I didn't see. A freind on the West Coast claims I was wearing New Balance sneakers with a suit while on my way to work. I worked on the waterfront and had to walk over old Boston cobblestone streets on the warf. No way was I wearing shoes for that so I can fall and shatter my facial bones on the ground. But Glamour didn't like sneakers with corporate attire. When I bought that month's Glamour I didn't see me featured but my friend swears on a stack of bibles I was in hers and it was me.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

LillyBBBW said:


> LOL They weren't after me for the mohawk believe it or not. The mohawk just made me an easy target. I had a giant duffel bag for gym clothes and I carried a plaid atache case for my music scores and I was wearing a pair of plaid trousers with suspenders that clashed with the plaid bag. The black bar ran across my face as I was looking down rummaging through a small purse I carried in the duffel bag. Glamour HATES people who carry more than one bag. The other time I was wearing lace stockings with an pale plaid a-line skirt and zipper boots and I had on lace fingerless gloves, a Zorro hat and a sweater vest. My friends said they thought I looked cute but the mag thought I looked busy and confused. The other one I didn't see. A freind on the West Coast claims I was wearing New Balance sneakers with a suit while on my way to work. I worked on the waterfront and had to walk over old Boston cobblestone streets on the warf. No way was I wearing shoes for that so I can fall and shatter my facial bones on the ground. But Glamour didn't like sneakers with corporate attire. When I bought that month's Glamour I didn't see me featured but my friend swears on a stack of bibles I was in hers and it was me.



see, when I see people like that I immediately admire them. Their fuck it attitude. I love and lust individuality. I hope to rediscover mine.  

I admire your sense of who you are and the fact you let it shine.


----------



## LillyBBBW

BigBellySSBBW said:


> see, when I see people like that I immediately admire them. Their fuck it attitude. I love and lust individuality. I hope to rediscover mine.
> 
> I admire your sense of who you are and the fact you let it shine.



:blush: Thanks so much BBSSBBW. I've sorta lost my risk taking vibe also and wondering where it went. I've become invisable.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

LillyBBBW said:


> :blush: Thanks so much BBSSBBW. I've sorta lost my risk taking vibe also and wondering where it went. I've become invisable.



omg lilly. you almost made me cry. someone gets it!!!! I used to have so much spunk....and I seem to have become completely invisible as well...and I don't know how to recover myself. *hugs*


----------



## LillyBBBW

BigBellySSBBW said:


> omg lilly. you almost made me cry. someone gets it!!!! I used to have so much spunk....and I seem to have become completely invisible as well...and I don't know how to recover myself. *hugs*



I don't know if you're as bad as me though. I have to catch myself from completely collapsing in to myself and use the force of will not to lose complete interest in my appearance. I don't know where the apathy comes from. Maybe I don't want to be noticed now? I don't know but I feel you. :kiss2:


----------



## katorade

LillyBBBW said:


> I don't know if you're as bad as me though. I have to catch myself from completely collapsing in to myself and use the force of will not to lose complete interest in my appearance. I don't know where the apathy comes from. Maybe I don't want to be noticed now? I don't know but I feel you. :kiss2:



This would make a good thread. I'm sure there are a few of us that feel this way.


----------



## rainyday

Lilly, at first I thought you were kidding about being a don't three times. Now I get that your photo was really in there. I think that's actually a fantastic claim to fame. I'd wear that proudly.


----------



## Ernest Nagel

Is jumping to the defense of someone who isn't really being attacked a version of bullying or something else? Willful distortions of the truth and manipulations of fact to damage someone else seem to me to be a special subset of bullying but maybe it's another thing altogether? This is what had me thinking about the subject:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xlqxSRhARU

(and yeah, I'm trying to stay away from posting for awhile. Didn't say I was going cold turkey. )


----------



## rainyday

Why are you stopping to post this here? Hurry, man! Report them to the administration on the White House's new snitch line.


----------



## tonynyc

Ernest Nagel said:


> Is jumping to the defense of someone who isn't really being attacked a version of bullying or something else? Willful distortions of the truth and manipulations of fact to damage someone else seem to me to be a special subset of bullying but maybe it's another thing altogether? This is what had me thinking about the subject:
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xlqxSRhARU
> 
> (and yeah, I'm trying to stay away from posting for awhile. Didn't say I was going cold turkey. )



Well Ernest, I don't know if jumping to the defense of someone can be considered Bullying. Interesting thought though... 

Unfortunately when it comes to a "Verbal Debate/Confrontation" not all combatants are going to come to the "dance" with the same skill sets ( some folks either through Life Experience/Personality etc. ) are more adept than others...


----------



## KHayes666

LillyBBBW said:


> LOL They weren't after me for the mohawk believe it or not. The mohawk just made me an easy target. I had a giant duffel bag for gym clothes and I carried a plaid atache case for my music scores and I was wearing a pair of plaid trousers with suspenders that clashed with the plaid bag. The black bar ran across my face as I was looking down rummaging through a small purse I carried in the duffel bag. Glamour HATES people who carry more than one bag. The other time I was wearing lace stockings with an pale plaid a-line skirt and zipper boots and I had on lace fingerless gloves, a Zorro hat and a sweater vest. My friends said they thought I looked cute but the mag thought I looked busy and confused. The other one I didn't see. A freind on the West Coast claims I was wearing New Balance sneakers with a suit while on my way to work. I worked on the waterfront and had to walk over old Boston cobblestone streets on the warf. No way was I wearing shoes for that so I can fall and shatter my facial bones on the ground. But Glamour didn't like sneakers with corporate attire. When I bought that month's Glamour I didn't see me featured but my friend swears on a stack of bibles I was in hers and it was me.



mohawk? atache case? zorro hat? pstpixplzkthxbye


----------



## LillyBBBW

KHayes666 said:


> mohawk? atache case? zorro hat? pstpixplzkthxbye



Haha! Just wait till the Jersey bash. I'm still plotting my "80's Don't" vengeance.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

LillyBBBW said:


> Haha! Just wait till the Jersey bash. I'm still plotting my "80's Don't" vengeance.




you HAVE to take and post pics lilly. You have to!!!!! I SAY SO!!!!


----------



## swamptoad

LillyBBBW said:


> Haha! Just wait till the Jersey bash. I'm still plotting my "80's Don't" vengeance.




Nice.  :bow: :happy:


----------



## LillyBBBW

BigBellySSBBW said:


> you HAVE to take and post pics lilly. You have to!!!!! I SAY SO!!!!



Oh I absolutely will.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

LillyBBBW said:


> Oh I absolutely will.



YAY my new bullying tactics work!!!!! lol


----------



## LillyBBBW

BigBellySSBBW said:


> YAY my new bullying tactics work!!!!! lol



LOL! Not for nothing but I always believed a little bully on the inside is good for everybody. I should teach a course.

By the way, have you looked here?


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

LillyBBBW said:


> By the way, have you looked here?



I completely missed it!! But I'm there now


----------



## Spanky

This is a test. This is only a test of the ENPS, Emergency Necro Posters System. If this had been a real emergency, or a necro post more than (30) THIRTY DAYS after the last post, you would have been instructed where to aim your heavy barbed spears and swords in the form of PMs to the source. 

This is only a test. 

View attachment this-is-only-a-test.jpg


----------



## tonynyc




----------



## KHayes666

Spanky said:


> This is a test. This is only a test of the ENPS, Emergency Necro Posters System. If this had been a real emergency, or a necro post more than (30) THIRTY DAYS after the last post, you would have been instructed where to aim your heavy barbed spears and swords in the form of PMs to the source.
> 
> This is only a test.



and here I thought I was watching UPN 38 at 3 in the morning with that color test lol


----------



## Shosh

I was wondering what the final outcome and/or follow up to his issue was.

I guess it has resolved itself in that there seems to be zero tolerance of some bullying others in terms of stricter moderating of posts etc.

I must say it feels a better environment now that those measures have been put in place.

What do others think?

Do you notice a change in the atmosphere here?


----------



## wrestlingguy

Shosh said:


> I was wondering what the final outcome and/or follow up to his issue was.
> 
> Do you notice a change in the atmosphere here?



ummmmmmmm..........................no.


----------



## cinnamitch

Shosh said:


> I was wondering what the final outcome and/or follow up to his issue was.
> 
> I guess it has resolved itself in that there seems to be zero tolerance of some bullying others in terms of stricter moderating of posts etc.
> 
> I must say it feels a better environment now that those measures have been put in place.
> 
> What do others think?
> 
> Do you notice a change in the atmosphere here?



Yes i do notice a change. There is such a strong level of contempt for some here and there are some who will not rest until those people are drummed off of Dims. That is sad. That on a site as big as this that it just wont be let go. Just every day the little digs here and there. Yeah i notice a change in here. Really really sad.


----------



## LoveBHMS

I agree, it's gotten worse.

Some people derive way to much pleasure in being mean and don't care who gets hurt even when it goes far beyond the intended target. These same posters don't even think Dims is big enough to fill their quotient of nastiness so they had to migrate onto another forum just to be able to be as awful as they feel they had to be.


----------



## cinnamitch

LoveBHMS said:


> I agree, it's gotten worse.
> 
> Some people derive way to much pleasure in being mean and don't care who gets hurt even when it goes far beyond the intended target. These same posters don't even think Dims is big enough to fill their quotient of nastiness so they had to migrate onto another forum just to be able to be as awful as they feel they had to be.



Oh i think there is plenty of guilt on both sides of that coin. I have seen plenty of people go into other forums just to do internet high fives on how clever they were , or just go into to seem all innocent while stirring the pot just a bit more. As i said, sad sad sad.


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## steely

Let's see if we can get this started up again, all the reasons we don't like each other, real or imagined. It is getting tiresome to listen to and watch.


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## LoveBHMS

cinnamitch said:


> Oh i think there is plenty of guilt on both sides of that coin. I have seen plenty of people go into other forums just to do internet high fives on how clever they were , or just go into to seem all innocent while stirring the pot just a bit more. As i said, sad sad sad.



It really is. Taking personal vendettas to where other innocent people get hurt is ridiculous. Most of it in the name of thinking you're funny or proving Dims is your little playground and you can be as mean as you want to be.


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## LillyBBBW

Umm... no in fact. The digs seem to be ongoing. I rarely post anymore. I've lost the will. I've actually stopped taking my medication so I can talk to myself a lot more. It has really helped.


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## cinnamitch

LoveBHMS said:


> It really is. Taking personal vendettas to where other innocent people get hurt is ridiculous. Most of it in the name of thinking you're funny or proving Dims is your little playground and you can be as mean as you want to be.



Well it is the playground for some and some wanted a bit more and looks like the two shall never meet.Like i said it goes on both sides . No one walks away clean from this one.


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## TraciJo67

For the life of me, I cannot understand why this constant ... constant ... CONSTANT harping about forum bullies isn't considered off-topic (if not just exhaustingly redundant). We get it. We ALL get it. Some people think that we're internet bullies. Some don't. It's all a matter of perception, isn't it? I don't see any innocent parties, anywhere, and I include myself in that equation. I am beyond tired of seeing this topic played out in just about every thread where an opening is even vaguely provided, though.

How about we just let the moderators handle the bullying issues and stop talking about it? Or, if we must, why not contain it to one thread?


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## cinnamitch

TraciJo67 said:


> For the life of me, I cannot understand why this constant ... constant ... CONSTANT harping about forum bullies isn't considered off-topic (if not just exhaustingly redundant). We get it. We ALL get it. Some people think that we're internet bullies. Some don't. It's all a matter of perception, isn't it? I don't see any innocent parties, anywhere, and I include myself in that equation. I am beyond tired of seeing this topic played out in just about every thread where an opening is even vaguely provided, though.
> 
> How about we just let the moderators handle the bullying issues and stop talking about it? Or, if we must, why not contain it to one thread?



You are just my hero, and you probably smell good too. You say it like it should be said. Oh Lily is having tea later, wanna bring your voices along?


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## Mathias

Shosh said:


> I was wondering what the final outcome and/or follow up to his issue was.
> 
> I guess it has resolved itself in that there seems to be zero tolerance of some bullying others in terms of stricter moderating of posts etc.
> 
> I must say it feels a better environment now that those measures have been put in place.
> 
> What do others think?
> 
> Do you notice a change in the atmosphere here?



This really, REALLY does not need to start up again. But to answer your question, no.


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## Shosh

steely said:


> Let's see if we can get this started up again, all the reasons we don't like each other, real or imagined. It is getting tiresome to listen to and watch.



That wasn't my intention when I revisited this thread. I was just hoping that things had gotten better here for everyone.


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## The Fez




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## steely

Shosh said:


> That wasn't my intention when I revisited this thread. I was just hoping that things had gotten better here for everyone.



Now, Shosh, you know what the climate of Dims is right now. Bringing this thread up, 6 months after the last post, you know it's going to give people a place to fuss with each other. There seems to be enough places for people to fuss with each other. I'm not trying to be ugly, I just want less arguing among people whom I consider to be friends.


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## joswitch

The Fez said:


>



Unsubscribing!


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## exile in thighville

what did you think would happen?

what do the most excitable people think will be the result of the things they post?


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## NancyGirl74

exile in thighville said:


> what did you think would happen?
> 
> what do the most excitable people think will be the result of the things they post?



Sometimes I think there will be world peace for which my post will be credited. Then I think about standing before a huge audience in a stunning gown thanking my family, my fans, and most of all God. 

*You like me! You reeeeaaally like me!*


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## Shosh

steely said:


> Now, Shosh, you know what the climate of Dims is right now. Bringing this thread up, 6 months after the last post, you know it's going to give people a place to fuss with each other. There seems to be enough places for people to fuss with each other. I'm not trying to be ugly, I just want less arguing among people whom I consider to be friends.



As I said I wanted to get some understanding and resolution as to where we are now with it.
I personally feel better and less harrassed.
That was my intention.
I think it is important to state that for closure.

If others wish to read anything else into this I have no control over that.


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## exile in thighville

Shosh said:


> I personally feel better and less harrassed.



back to work with my ass


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## tonynyc

NancyGirl74 said:


> Sometimes I think there will be world peace for which my post will be credited. Then I think about standing before a huge audience in a stunning gown thanking my family, my fans, and most of all God.
> 
> *You like me! You reeeeaaally like me!*



:bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow:


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## 99Haints

Wooly Bullies continue to make me feel as L7 as ever.


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## exile in thighville

tony means what's under the belt


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## Shosh

exile in thighville said:


> back to work with my ass



Like I said, yawn.


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## steely

Shosh said:


> As I said I wanted to get some understanding and resolution as to where we are now with it.
> I personally feel better and less harrassed.
> That was my intention.
> I think it is important to state that for closure.
> 
> If others wish to read anything else into this I have no control over that.



Thanks for clarifying your motivations.


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## Sandie S-R

Closing thread.


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