# Nude BBW's online and spousal impact



## Rowan (Nov 26, 2008)

So...reading a post one of the members posted here, it was stated that her significant other spoke many languages, ivy league school, etc..bragging as significant others are wont to do..blah blah blah. 

Well anyhow, with very little effort and hardly any research, I was able to find the significant other's name and look up his vital stats to see if her bragging about him had any truth to it.

It also made me think of the many news stories about how employers now use Facebook and such as a hiring tool. 

Anyhowwwww...so I was thinking, if it was so easy for me to find this information, what would stop an possible employer or loan officer to find this kind of information as well and then easily be able to find her pictures and site online and such? I would certainly say that finding such things about a potential employer's spouse may put people in such an important position off to offering a job or a loan to such people.

thoughts?


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## Rowan (Nov 26, 2008)

By the way....the situation could also be flipped and be nude men online and their spouses...dont wanna leave the nekkid guys out. lol


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## goofy girl (Nov 26, 2008)

I believe that something like this did happen to one of the members of our community.



You left out the good part...was there any truth to it?? heehee


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## katorade (Nov 26, 2008)

Well, only issue is that it would be considered discrimination to not hire someone because of it, unless it directly contradicts the work they are trying to do (i.e. school teachers with porn sites). Of course you'd have to either have proof they made the decision based on their found knowledge, or they would have to tell you so.

I think a lot of people forget the risk involved in putting their personal life out there on the internet so flippantly. If it's a risk they're willing to take, then so be it, but they should be prepared to face the consequences.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Nov 26, 2008)

What you say is very true, and I have read that some employers routinely check out applicants on Facebook, Myspace, etc. This partly negates the federal laws on privacy: you cannot ask if an applicant is married, gay, etc., BUT if that person posts his/her marital status or sexual orientation on Facebook, you as a potential employer have access to that info.

Of course, the nudity thing COULD work the other way, too: were I in the market for an administrative assistant, some of the pictures you've posted on Dims would make me even more eager to hire you. :wubu: After all, I can type my _own_ letters if I have to...


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## exile in thighville (Nov 26, 2008)

Change your name on Facebook if you're applying anywhere. Not joking. A girl I know with lots of drunk party pics looking for work as a teacher creatively changed her last name from Salemi to Salami, etc. Or make your profile private.

I wish, however, that someone would go ahead and sue if they got fired for this kind of thing, and set a precedent already, because part-time and amateur models and even Myspace strippers deserve rights and protections like anyone else and just because you get found out compromises your working abilities as a company asset 0%. I think someone on here did successfully threaten legal action.


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## katorade (Nov 26, 2008)

exile in thighville said:


> Change your name on Facebook if you're applying anywhere. Not joking. A girl I know with lots of drunk party pics looking for work as a teacher creatively changed her last name from Salemi to Salami, etc. Or make your profile private.
> 
> I wish, however, that someone would go ahead and sue if they got fired for this kind of thing, and set a precedent already, because part-time and amateur models and even Myspace strippers deserve rights and protections like anyone else and just because you get found out compromises your working abilities as a company asset 0%. I think someone on here did successfully threaten legal action.




+1. A lot of people like to tell others in the adult industry or that have seedy or sordid pasts that want out that they can just "go apply for a job like anyone else". Not when they run a high risk of being recognized as the chick who slept with 30 guys in an hour or the guy that can pleasure himself, or even something as prudish as having tasteful nudes that are publicly viewable. I mean, Monica Lewinsky's handbag business didn't exactly make her blossom into Louis Vuitton.


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## exile in thighville (Nov 26, 2008)

katorade said:


> the guy that can pleasure himself



if this is dealbreaker for jobs it finally solves the mystery of why i don't have one. doesn't explain you lot though.


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## katorade (Nov 26, 2008)

exile in thighville said:


> if this is dealbreaker for jobs it finally solves the mystery of why i don't have one. doesn't explain you lot though.




Oops, that should have said ORALLY pleasure himself, and man, I gots a jaerb.


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## Shosh (Nov 26, 2008)

My MySpace page is set to private. I only want those that I choose, to be able to view it.
I do not have a Facebook page.

I personally would not post any semi nude type pics on my page, but that is me. What others do is their business.

I know of a few BBW's who do have semi naked pics on their page, and maybe they do as a way to challenge society's narrow view of what is attractive, and to build their self esteem and confidence.
I did not understand the concept of public semi nudity before, but I do now.

My pics are boring. A couple of me and 996 of Marcus.


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## altered states (Nov 26, 2008)

My real name is common enough to frustrate googlers and my facebook page, such as it is, is squeaky clean. I assume a fairly tech-savvy kid with time on their hands could crack the tres huevos facade (this is not a challenge, by the way), but if people want to go that far, I'm screwed anyway. Luckily we creative types get plenty of leeway when it comes to debauched hobbies.


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## chunkeymonkey (Nov 26, 2008)

I was just thinking about this today....I have put up pictures of me on the scantily clothed style and I have sent via email nekkid ones with my husbands OK. However I recently took on a PTO/PTA Board Director job and think what would I do if by some chance someone has found a picture of me. I have been thinking about cancelling my myspace profile which I rarely use. My husband job is very serious about its employee's behavior. I am sure they would not be please to find out his wife has pictures on the net. With the time the way they are people can and will look for any excuse to cut back jobs. I don't think its fair to be discriminated against but I do understand employers weeding out what they may think is not going to work for them.
I am not in a position to judge others....I recently bought a glass house and have not upgraded to bullet proof windows 

I have become more comfortable with my body and body image by putting myself out ther and getting feed back from people on how I look. It is much easier to take a picture and let people look than stand there naked and let others stare.It was a great stepping stone for me especially with size acceptance. I am not ashamed of how I feel about myself and I certainly would have something to say in defending my actions if I had to. I would love to say what is the big deal its just flesh with a whole lot of fat filling it out. It comes down to beautiful art, beautiful confidence something people do for their own personal reason. I chose to let those pictures out of my hands. I would feel very differently if they were paparrazi pictures that violated my rights and posted but mine are not. I guess I have to look at things from all angles befor posting pictures. 

I don't know now I am just babbling....................................................


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## Shosh (Nov 26, 2008)

chunkeymonkey said:


> I was just thinking about this today....I have put up pictures of me on the scantily clothed style and I have sent via email nekkid ones with my husbands OK. However I recently took on a PTO/PTA Board Director job and think what would I do if by some chance someone has found a picture of me. I have been thinking about cancelling my myspace profile which I rarely use. My husband job is very serious about its employee's behavior. I am sure they would not be please to find out his wife has pictures on the net. With the time the way they are people can and will look for any excuse to cut back jobs. I don't think its fair to be discriminated against but I do understand employers weeding out what they may think is not going to work for them.
> I am not in a position to judge others....I recently bought a glass house and have not upgraded to bullet proof windows
> 
> I have become more comfortable with my body and body image by putting myself out ther and getting feed back from people on how I look. It is much easier to take a picture and let people look than stand there naked and let others stare.It was a great stepping stone for me especially with size acceptance. I am not ashamed of how I feel about myself and I certainly would have something to say in defending my actions if I had to. I would love to say what is the big deal its just flesh with a whole lot of fat filling it out. It comes down to beautiful art, beautiful confidence something people do for their own personal reason. I chose to let those pictures out of my hands. I would feel very differently if they were paparrazi pictures that violated my rights and posted but mine are not. I guess I have to look at things from all angles befor posting pictures.
> ...




I will miss you if you cancel your MySpace page.

Just only have regular pics on it, and then it shouldn't be a problem. Set it to private also.


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## bexy (Nov 26, 2008)

I'll be honest and say its not something I have given much thought to, because I see all I do as tasteful modelling. I don't think of myself as a porn star or doing porn. 
George and I are fairly open about what I do, there is only really his parents that don't know, and my last employers had no issue with it. 
If the time came that I felt it could impact my life in a negative way, who knows? I might look at things differently and make any changes that needed to be made. But for my life now as it stands, I am happy enough. 
I keep my Facebook as my Bexy page and my Myspace as my Bexylicious page. I use seperate email for personal life and modelling.

At the end of the day if you look hard enough you can find out personal info about most people on the internets. So spill, what ya find lol!??!


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## Donna (Nov 26, 2008)

As a former paysite-model, I live with the (sometimes abject) fear that my employer or those I work with will find out about my past. My husband runs his own business, and while his closest business partners are also his friends and know, I do worry that perhaps one of his clients might some day find out. However, as my husband so often has pointed out to me, I made a decision when I decided to disrobe for the cameras and I knew that someday that decision could potentially come back and bite my ass. He, however, is not one bit concerned about it and would tell anyone expressing a negative opinion just what they can do with their negative opinion.

As a human resources professional, I know things on the other side of the desk and it's been my experience that background checks are very general in nature. Most larger companies don't even do their own background checks---they hire it out to firms whose specific function is to research the information provided by applicants. There has been some hype in the recent past over employers doing online searches to dig up dirt on potential employees. But I am of the _opinion_ it's not as widespread or common a practice as many would fear. Most HR folks are more concerned with verifying your references and credentials (degrees, certifications) than looking at pictures of you naked in a hot tub at a friend's party. The FCRA is pretty much the bible for HR professionals when making the decision what we can and cannot take into consideration to make a hiring decision. 

I'm pretty sure, and someone in that industry correct me if I am wrong please, that loan officers and lenders are bound by the FCRA (Fair Credit Reporting Act) even more so than I am.

So to answer the original question, there really is nothing to stop anyone from looking up your online activities and using that to pass judgment. But I doubt it happens as often we might think.


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## superodalisque (Nov 26, 2008)

i think it depends on what kind of work you do or want to do and whether they have a morals clause or not. truthfully people do look at that kind of thing negatively because it has a stigma. there is a lot of cheap trashy stuff around and even if you aren't doing that people want to make the association. often if your getting paid for it the stigma gets worse. how messed up is that? 

i'm a bit of a show off myself but only in a certain context. i'm also an artist and society gives us license that other people don't get. it really depends on the venue and how i feel about it. i pose nude for artists but i won't do it for a website. i don't think there is anything wrong with people doing a website. its just that i think i can make my own personal point about acceptance better if no one is paying me to do what i do. for some silly reason society has it in their head that if you take money for something it might not be real pride but only a quick way to make a buck. i don't believe thats necessarily true. i think its totally possible to do both. but i don't want to water down the kind of assertions i have about being proud of myself and others. the point i want to make is too important to me and the money i'd make wouldn't ever be enough to make -up for the gravity i feel i might lose. i just wanted to do what i do in a small way where no one could doubt what its about-- especially after knowing me a bit. and what its all about is, that its completely possible to be very fat and love yourself and be 100% a woman in the world. its just a way to say we don't need to hide away like a troll.

even though it may be unfair i think some businesses have a legitimate reason to be careful about hiring people that might cast a certain shadow over what its trying to do. an employee's personal life shouldn't become too much of a distraction when it comes to clients etc... as a business owner i would have never had, say a porn star, tutor the kids in my center. even though i'd feel supportive of her it would just be asking too much to put my business at risk and i just wouldn't do it. i think it would be fair of her/him to ask me to. if i were to lose a business it had better be for something i did. but if someone is in a business where its not a sensitive issue i think the employer should have his pants sued off for 2 reasons. 1. an employees personal life is none of his business. and 2. just because he /she is self righteous enough to judge other people for things not his/her business anyway. the problem is that the net makes more things more of other people's business than we might like. unfortunately if you wanna be president you have to be careful.


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## AshleyEileen (Nov 26, 2008)

Donna said:


> As a former paysite-model, I live with the (sometimes abject) fear that my employer or those I work with will find out about my past. My husband runs his own business, and while his closest business partners are also his friends and know, I do worry that perhaps one of his clients might some day find out. However, as my husband so often has pointed out to me, I made a decision when I decided to disrobe for the cameras and I knew that someday that decision could potentially come back and bite my ass. He, however, is not one bit concerned about it and would tell anyone expressing a negative opinion just what they can do with their negative opinion.



I've been given multiple opportunities to model for three different sites and after a few long discussions, my boyfriend and I decided it was for the best to not accept. In the grand scheme of things, I don't think it would be worth it. The extra money would be great, but the whole deal isn't for me.


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## Violet_Beauregard (Nov 26, 2008)

I was never a pay-site model, but I did have a free Yahoo adult-oriented modeling site. I never did frontal nudity, but did do back nudity. I had quite a few pictures out there over a 2-year period of time, and I believe I had about 2600 members. The guy I'm dating (and will most likely end up with permanently) didn't like the group at all for a number of reasons, one of which was the repercussions that could come from having my pictures out there. I did go out of my way not to use any of my personal information (name, location, etc) to avoid it being tied to my "real" life. As far as I'm aware, no one local to me that I know personally, knew about my group. I closed it a few months ago. My boyfriend is still disturbed that many guys probably downloaded and kept my pictures. He's not bothered for himself, but that it might come back and haunt me, so-to-speak. I'm not sorry I did the group at all. It did wonders for my self esteem and self acceptance. I would make the same decision if I had it to make again. I did consider doing a pay-site, but doing the full frontal nudity was just not something that I was comfortable doing, and I was definitely concerned about what could possibly happen if it were discovered.


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## Donna (Nov 26, 2008)

I am not necessarily ashamed of the pictures. But truthfully I am concerned about the potential for judgment from others who don't hold the liberal views on nudity and sexuality that I do. Would I make the same decision again knowing what I know now? I can't answer that.

On re-read, and after reading the posts that came after, I was concerned that my post would be read as an indictment of the paysite industry. Not the case, I assure you. Each lady has her own reasons for doing what she does. And for those that do it with grace and class, I really respect that.


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## Ruffie (Nov 27, 2008)

I have run into the same thing in my work. Running a youth centre, I have a morals clause in my contract that states we are to act as good role models to youth outside of our jobs as well( a generalization of the page long policy). Before I had this job, I did alot of art that challenged peoples perceptions of me. I did a upper torso body cast on the back glueing pictures of myself from my youth, before I started on the road to self acceptance, wrting negative thoughts I held at that time, some of the diets I tired etc to show the struggle on my back weight caused me and that this was now "behind me". ON the front was pictures of me up until that point, fat positive affirmations, my family and images that depicted how happy I was in my life. It got lots of great comments in the juried art show I entered it in. The next year did a self portrait nude from behind and wrote some of the things I had been called as a fat person in blood red letters across the back. The piece was titled "get off my back" and made it into a juried show of over 225 artists. I have sketches for many more works I want to photograph using mostly my own body to get across my message that I have made in journals as I have never stopped thinking about ways to bring the message forward.
My problem is I want to continue this work, but knowing the president of our board(has a huge problem with fat people) and a few people within the organization, I know this would be turned into a morals clause issue. I have held off for the past 8 years in doing any of this work, but really want to do it again. I can produce the work just for me, but it is work I feel needs to be out there to challenge perceptions and assist other women of size to embrace themselves just as they are. Was discussing this with a few friends who also happen to be my staff yesterday who suggested I do an age only show of the work, go for it, and be damned the consequences cause if they try to fire you for doing art, we will all go with you. 
My job is so important to me, I love it so much would do it for free if I didn't have bills to pay. Yet I am frustrated because me as an artist or an individual has to be careful for fear of peoples perceptions. I am even very cautious about the pics I post on the facebook page or on the sidebar here at Dimensions. Any advice out there?
Ruth


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## wrestlingguy (Nov 27, 2008)

goofy girl said:


> I believe that something like this did happen to one of the members of our community.
> 
> 
> 
> You left out the good part...was there any truth to it?? heehee



Good memory, Goof. Here's the original thread:

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=40875


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## AshleyEileen (Nov 27, 2008)

Donna said:


> I am not necessarily ashamed of the pictures. But truthfully I am concerned about the potential for judgment from others who don't hold the liberal views on nudity and sexuality that I do. Would I make the same decision again knowing what I know now? I can't answer that.
> 
> On re-read, and after reading the posts that came after, I was concerned that my post would be read as an indictment of the paysite industry. Not the case, I assure you. Each lady has her own reasons for doing what she does. And for those that do it with grace and class, I really respect that.



I can see where you're coming from. I have no against any of the paysite models; I actually talk to quite a few of them on the daily. I just couldn't do it myself. I'd rather have my man than to have a bit of fame.


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## bexy (Nov 27, 2008)

AshleyEileen said:


> I can see where you're coming from. I have no against any of the paysite models; I actually talk to quite a few of them on the daily. I just couldn't do it myself. *I'd rather have my man than to have a bit of fame.*



Although it is very possible to have both. Like me.
I don't do my site for fame, fortune or anything like that. 
Maybe I am in minority but I do it purely for fun, I really enjoy it. Also as George takes my piccies its nice time to spend with him. It is fun getting all dressed up and doing my make up, thinking up new themes and ideas. 
Its not about anything more than that for me. 



Donna said:


> I am not necessarily ashamed of the pictures. But truthfully I am concerned about the potential for judgment from others who don't hold the liberal views on nudity and sexuality that I do. Would I make the same decision again knowing what I know now? I can't answer that.



At the present time I don't see how my site could possibly negatively impact my life or my relationship. Like I said, that could change but hell so could a lot of things!

I also considered doing my site carefully and it was not something I just jumped into.
I have already been turned down for jobs because of my tattoos, my piercings, my hair colour. Maybe I'm a stubborn wee thing but I won't change myself. This is the way I choose to look and it is who I am. I also get judged because of my weight on a day to day basis. 
I figure my site can just add itself to the above list, its just another thing people may possibly judge me about. 
But it isn't something I worry about because I know I would never do any pics or videos I would find myself ashamed of. I do content that I find cute, fun and arty. I don't degrade myself in any way, do anything immoral or illegal, I don't do any sexual acts. I only do what I feel comfortable with and what I believe won't bite me in the ass in years to come. 
And I am sure most paysite girls can say the same. They decide their content, they thought carefully about doing their site, and they only do what they are comfortable with.


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## AshleyEileen (Nov 27, 2008)

bexylicious said:


> Although it is very possible to have both. Like me.
> I don't do my site for fame, fortune or anything like that.
> Maybe I am in minority but I do it purely for fun, I really enjoy it. Also as George takes my piccies its nice time to spend with him. It is fun getting all dressed up and doing my make up, thinking up new themes and ideas.
> Its not about anything more than that for me.



Oh, I know it's possible to have both, but my boyfriend said that it would make him very uneasy to know other men would lust after me without knowing the true beauty that my personality possesses. I'm just speaking from my own experience.


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## Santaclear (Nov 27, 2008)

Donna said:


> I am not necessarily ashamed of the pictures. But truthfully I am concerned about the potential for judgment from others who don't hold the liberal views on nudity and sexuality that I do. Would I make the same decision again knowing what I know now? I can't answer that.
> 
> On re-read, and after reading the posts that came after, I was concerned that my post would be read as an indictment of the paysite industry. Not the case, I assure you. Each lady has her own reasons for doing what she does. And for those that do it with grace and class, I really respect that.



I hope it never causes you a problem, Donna, but at the same time it takes nerve to do what you've done and you should be proud.


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## SparklingBBW (Nov 28, 2008)

Donna said:


> I am not necessarily ashamed of the pictures. But truthfully I am concerned about the potential for judgment from others who don't hold the liberal views on nudity and sexuality that I do. Would I make the same decision again knowing what I know now? I can't answer that.
> 
> On re-read, and after reading the posts that came after, I was concerned that my post would be read as an indictment of the paysite industry. Not the case, I assure you. Each lady has her own reasons for doing what she does. And for those that do it with grace and class, I really respect that.



Paysite modeling brings up many an issue that's for sure. I think the choice is definitely a personal one. And I think to call it all "paysite modeling" is really quite a disservice to the professionals who do this kind of work. Why not just call it modeling, just like the skinny girls? I really wonder if fat girl models were more mainstream, we wouldn't have to go to paysites necessarily for the photos of them because they would be otherwise readily available in print magazines and catalogues. 

And to that end, with regard to the original question, nobody questions Seal about his wife (Heidi Klum) being the Victoria's Secret "It" girl and wondering how many men (or adolescent boys) are fapping off while looking at those pics or the ones in the SI Swimsuit edition. 

After having the opportunity to spend some time with 4 of these lovely models this weekend, I can tell you for sure that their beauty shines from the inside out, and that no matter how big their bodies are, their personalities and hearts are bursting with kindness, smarts, bravery, sincerity, sweetness and just all around general goodness. It was a lovely time and I was lucky to get a chance to meet them.  And Donna, I'm sure everyone who is lucky enough to cross your path in the real world would surely feel the same about you. 

G


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## exile in thighville (Nov 28, 2008)

Ruffie said:


> I have run into the same thing in my work. Running a youth centre, I have a morals clause in my contract that states we are to act as good role models to youth outside of our jobs as well( a generalization of the page long policy). Before I had this job, I did alot of art that challenged peoples perceptions of me. I did a upper torso body cast on the back glueing pictures of myself from my youth, before I started on the road to self acceptance, wrting negative thoughts I held at that time, some of the diets I tired etc to show the struggle on my back weight caused me and that this was now "behind me". ON the front was pictures of me up until that point, fat positive affirmations, my family and images that depicted how happy I was in my life. It got lots of great comments in the juried art show I entered it in. The next year did a self portrait nude from behind and wrote some of the things I had been called as a fat person in blood red letters across the back. The piece was titled "get off my back" and made it into a juried show of over 225 artists. I have sketches for many more works I want to photograph using mostly my own body to get across my message that I have made in journals as I have never stopped thinking about ways to bring the message forward.
> My problem is I want to continue this work, but knowing the president of our board(has a huge problem with fat people) and a few people within the organization, I know this would be turned into a morals clause issue. I have held off for the past 8 years in doing any of this work, but really want to do it again. I can produce the work just for me, but it is work I feel needs to be out there to challenge perceptions and assist other women of size to embrace themselves just as they are. Was discussing this with a few friends who also happen to be my staff yesterday who suggested I do an age only show of the work, go for it, and be damned the consequences cause if they try to fire you for doing art, we will all go with you.
> My job is so important to me, I love it so much would do it for free if I didn't have bills to pay. Yet I am frustrated because me as an artist or an individual has to be careful for fear of peoples perceptions. I am even very cautious about the pics I post on the facebook page or on the sidebar here at Dimensions. Any advice out there?
> Ruth



Can you do it without doing it fully nude? If you can produce the same creative side with the stipulation that should the boss get a hold of it, it would be a "fat" issue (get a good lawyer) as opposed to a "nude" issue (you're fucked in this country), you can probably keep your job. But this is terrible honestly, I don't know how I could ever take a job that could mandate what I do outside of work. (assuming it's legal anyway)


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## altered states (Nov 28, 2008)

wrestlingguy said:


> Good memory, Goof. Here's the original thread:
> 
> http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=40875



I missed this first time around, but reading it now, it really burns my ass and, at the risk of being bumped to Hyde Park, really says a lot about the false morality of this country. It reminds me of the 64-page Obama questionaire that's being given to potential staff and cabinet appointees, asking about one's email history. Not for any criminal stuff - that's on a Wendy's job application - but for "embarrassing" emails and associations. 

One of the positive things that makes this country unique is that privacy and freedom of association is actually in the constitution, guaranteed to all of us. Barring race and a few other criteria, I understand private employers have an equal right to not associate with people they feel aren't in their best interests (barring race and a few other things, of course). But from what I can tell, rarely does the criteria for not hiring or firing employees have anything to do with their bottom line, just that they're afraid someone, somewhere might take offense. 

Okay, at this point I understand - companies don't want negative publicity, or to god forbid to inspire a boycott or blacklist. But the problem with modern American society is that this ISN'T what happens. Very few people change their buying habits because they're offended by something. What happens is that if someone does poke their head up and just squeal "I'm offended!," they instantly become a marginal part of the story. This is because we're not actually worried that the person took offense - "offense" is too subjective a concept anyway - but that the situation was allowed to occur where someone COULD be offended, and it becomes a matter of "judgment." So really no one cares what the person did or said, _just that they did it_ - it's all bullshit. 

I'll never get this puritan/PC quirk in our society. We should all calm the hell down and allow people to have full lives, histories, make mistakes, and even offend us as long as their "failings" don't affect the jobs they do.


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## prickly (Nov 28, 2008)

AshleyEileen said:


> my boyfriend said that it would make him very uneasy to know other men would lust after me without knowing the true beauty that my personality possesses



......this applies to pretty much to any situation where checking/flirting takes place - walking down the street, chat in a bar, online, whatever.

anyway, let's face it, in checking/flirting mode who gives a shit about true beauty, personality, blah......it's all about the tits and arse!


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## Admiral_Snackbar (Nov 28, 2008)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> Of course, the nudity thing COULD work the other way, too: were I in the market for an administrative assistant, some of the pictures you've posted on Dims would make me even more eager to hire you. :wubu: After all, I can type my _own_ letters if I have to...


Trying to determine if this is your actual take or hyperbole. I would say if it's the truth, that would be seen as a negative discriminatory practice and may be a bit of what deters some of the ladies here from posting nudes; that you only hire attractive admins to serve as your personal eye candy and not for their talents and contributions to the company. Granted it's been done a frillion times before (I worked for a pharma manager who excelled at finding cute but talentless T&A for him to ogle all day long), but assuming you had other admin assistants, wouldn't this cause some friction?



superodalisque said:


> i think it depends on what kind of work you do or want to do and whether they have a morals clause or not. truthfully people do look at that kind of thing negatively because it has a stigma. there is a lot of cheap trashy stuff around and even if you aren't doing that people want to make the association. often if your getting paid for it the stigma gets worse. how messed up is that?


I am curious as to how this sort of modeling is seen in the states vs say where bexy lives. In the traditional US tradition, society (or busybodies in general) frowns on a woman who (gasp) poses tastefully nude on a website, not to mention someone who goes full-on XXX. A woman who has a very lucrative online business--a website she runs with her husband where they (gasp x2) actually HAD SEX ON CAMERA WITH EACH OTHER--were planning to move to a nice suburban AZ community; either a fan or some busybody posted flyers all over the neighborhood indicating a pornographer was moving into their community and they effectively had to cancel the house purchase and go elsewhere. It just goes to show that anyone can be targeted for any reason. My understanding is that Europe is a tad more forgiving in these instances.



> even though it may be unfair i think some businesses have a legitimate reason to be careful about hiring people that might cast a certain shadow over what its trying to do. an employee's personal life shouldn't become too much of a distraction when it comes to clients etc... as a business owner i would have never had, say a porn star, tutor the kids in my center. even though i'd feel supportive of her it would just be asking too much to put my business at risk and i just wouldn't do it. i think it would be fair of her/him to ask me to. if i were to lose a business it had better be for something i did. but if someone is in a business where its not a sensitive issue i think the employer should have his pants sued off for 2 reasons. 1. an employees personal life is none of his business. and 2. just because he /she is self righteous enough to judge other people for things not his/her business anyway. the problem is that the net makes more things more of other people's business than we might like. unfortunately if you wanna be president you have to be careful.


And I think that's the risk you take when you take your lifestyle to an extreme. If you modeled nudes on your site for a few years but then all of a sudden switched over to hardcore XXX, it's going to be difficult to shake that past when trying to get into industries where child safety is a concern. Some parents rarely have much rationality when it comes to that sort of thing, any pornographer seems to be a child pornographer in their eyes. Those extremists tend to be the ones who go to the media to report this 'filth' when they only know a tiny bit of the situation.



AshleyEileen said:


> Oh, I know it's possible to have both, but my boyfriend said that it would make him very uneasy to know other men would lust after me without knowing the true beauty that my personality possesses. I'm just speaking from my own experience.


It's going to make him uneasy walking down the street with you then. Guys will get one glance at you and undress you with their eyes. If they see you undressed already, it makes the imagining that much easier. He should take pride in the fact that he gets to be there next to you at night, and worry less about the horde of nameless, faceless men who may find you attractive.



tres huevos said:


> I missed this first time around, but reading it now, it really burns my ass and, at the risk of being bumped to Hyde Park, really says a lot about the false morality of this country. It reminds me of the 64-page Obama questionaire that's being given to potential staff and cabinet appointees, asking about one's email history. Not for any criminal stuff - that's on a Wendy's job application - but for "embarrassing" emails and associations.


 I don't see that as a bad thing. When you are in a job where 99.999% of your boss' life is put in the public eye, it behooves that boss to scrutinize your background for potential bad publicity. Then again, who anticipated that an intern who had a thing for a past president was buddy buddy with a disgruntled employee who had a reason to open a 50 gallon drum of whoop ass when she got all the inside dirt on the 'relationship'.



> I'll never get this puritan/PC quirk in our society. We should all calm the hell down and allow people to have full lives, histories, make mistakes, and even offend us as long as their "failings" don't affect the jobs they do.


Puritanism - That nagging fear that someone, somewhere is having fun.


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## loggamatt (Nov 28, 2008)

I think it is entirely possible that something like this could have an impact upon your/your spouse's job, and entirely understandable too for some jobs. It depends hugely on the profession though. One good example already raised is that of a school teacher... I think parents would have a valid cause for complaint if they discovered that their kids' teacher had an internet paysite, even if it wasn't full nudity.

Another concern is of blackmail in certain professions. Say someone works for the Police, has access to classified materials and a Police target discovers that his partner has a paysite. That target could use that information to blackmail the Police Officer into passing on classified material which is obviously a serious security breach. Now, probably in most cases the Officer wouldn't allow himself to be blackmailed, but it does make him more of a risk from that point of view and his employer has a right to take that risk seriously.

So it is highly dependent on the profession, but I think it is an issue. Personally, I have no moral objection whatsoever to people having paysites, but I think anyone who considers doing that needs to be realistic about the fact that there could be career implications for themselves or their partner.


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## bexy (Nov 28, 2008)

loggamatt said:


> I think it is entirely possible that something like this could have an impact upon your/your spouse's job, and entirely understandable too for some jobs. It depends hugely on the profession though. One good example already raised is that of a school teacher... I think parents would have a valid cause for complaint if they discovered that their kids' teacher had an internet paysite, even if it wasn't full nudity.
> 
> Another concern is of blackmail in certain professions. Say someone works for the Police, has access to classified materials and a Police target discovers that his partner has a paysite. That target could use that information to blackmail the Police Officer into passing on classified material which is obviously a serious security breach. Now, probably in most cases the Officer wouldn't allow himself to be blackmailed, but it does make him more of a risk from that point of view and his employer has a right to take that risk seriously.
> 
> So it is highly dependent on the profession, but I think it is an issue. Personally, I have no moral objection whatsoever to people having paysites, but I think anyone who considers doing that needs to be realistic about the fact that there could be career implications for themselves or their partner.



I see the point you are trying to make, but I don't see how its possible for anyone to be blackmailed with something that is publicly available on the internet. That is why there is truth in the saying "never put anything on the internet that you wouldn't want people to see". The internet is not, and never really has been fully anonymous.


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## loggamatt (Nov 28, 2008)

bexylicious said:


> I see the point you are trying to make, but I don't see how its possible for anyone to be blackmailed with something that is publicly available on the internet. That is why there is truth in the saying "never put anything on the internet that you wouldn't want people to see". The internet is not, and never really has been fully anonymous.



"So, have all your work friends seen your girlfriend's site? Have your parents? It's ok, I know... don't worry about it, I'm sure they'll never need to find out. How about you just photocopy my file for me? Then I'm sure it'll all go away..."

Obviously, this only applies to certain sensitive jobs so it's the minority... but I have worked for the Police and I know that the potential for this sort of thing is something they take very seriously.


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## Sicilia_Curves (Nov 28, 2008)

im looking for a new job btw lol


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## Sicilia_Curves (Nov 28, 2008)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> What you say is very true, and I have read that some employers routinely check out applicants on Facebook, Myspace, etc. This partly negates the federal laws on privacy: you cannot ask if an applicant is married, gay, etc., BUT if that person posts his/her marital status or sexual orientation on Facebook, you as a potential employer have access to that info.
> 
> Of course, the nudity thing COULD work the other way, too: were I in the market for an administrative assistant, some of the pictures you've posted on Dims would make me even more eager to hire you. :wubu: After all, I can type my _own_ letters if I have to...



Hey i'm available for employment! lol


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## AshleyEileen (Nov 29, 2008)

prickly said:


> ......this applies to pretty much to any situation where checking/flirting takes place - walking down the street, chat in a bar, online, whatever.
> 
> anyway, let's face it, in checking/flirting mode who gives a shit about true beauty, personality, blah......it's all about the tits and arse!





Admiral_Snackbar said:


> It's going to make him uneasy walking down the street with you then. Guys will get one glance at you and undress you with their eyes. If they see you undressed already, it makes the imagining that much easier. He should take pride in the fact that he gets to be there next to you at night, and worry less about the horde of nameless, faceless men who may find you attractive.



He'd rather not have me subject myself to that and I respect it. It's not that he's worried about anyone looking at me; I asked for his opinion when I was asked to model.


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## chunkylex (Nov 29, 2008)

well luckily, i learned real quick not to sign up to many different sites/forums/ or emails. Some of those things take a long time to delete if at all possible, and when i hand in my resume i also include and Email address on it on the rest of the contact information. Quick safety Steps to Avoid Issues and people tracking you down.

1. Have 2 separate Emails, a personal one reserved from Friends, Family, and work. the other one being another name of NO where similar, and using that one to sign up for other sites you may not want people to track you down in.

2. on my-space, face book, what ever other crap you have. post pic's of other things besides you or a Group Photo, Group photo helps conceal who it maybe. Do it for the first couple of pic's and then self pic's 

3. when joining a site read the "Delete profile" part. or search for it , if it turns out it doesn' delete it rather it put's it in a pauses or suspended state... "which really pisses me off" Try and avoid it. your still track able by that.

4. Post only Decent pic's of yourself that you could show your family. pretty much a rule of thumb i go by when doing a lot of things. personal, hot , sexy pic's if you choose to share. try and share it one on one, less chance for you to end up on some site doing a bunch of things you didn't even know you did.

Just some tips i thought might help someone


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## Buffie (Dec 1, 2008)

My employer was informed of my website by a vindictive person several years ago. I was called into HR and "confronted" about it. I denied nothing and asked who told them. They protected their source.

I never brought it up at work, never planned to. Just not something I would discuss in that environment. But from the beginning day of my paysite, I knew there were risks involved. So while I was disappointed at the way my company handled the situation, I have no regrets about my site.

The HR director was fully confused about me. She could not fathom why, or possibly _how_ I made a steady second income by being a pin up at my size. That's when I realized I was in her office that day NOT because I had a pin up site, but because I was fat.

My office employs over 200 women. I dared her to check them all, make sure none of them had been pole dancers, nude models, whatever. 

I told her I felt singled out because of my size. She didn't agree but didn't deny it. I told her my site was 100% legal, FCC compliant even. Told her I paid taxes on every red cent I earned. Reminded her that it wasn't because of MY MOUTH that I was in her office. She sat there with her jaw on her desk and her wheels were probably turning in the direction of 'did I just get the company slapped with a discrimination suit?'

I left her office that afternoon determined as hell to prove that fucking with me would never be successful. Thus far, it hasn't. 

People at the office still whisper and sometimes I get harassing emails from anonymous bitches who try to 'threaten' me and say they'll tell people. Go ahead and tell them, I could use the traffic...

Ultimately, I win. There's nothing about my site that is wrong, bad, illegal, unethical, fake (boobs notwithstanding LOL) or a lie (age notwithstanding). So what about my site can possibly be used against me? Nuthin. And slowly, the assholes are figuring that out.

I still have my job. I have a great relationship with my immediate coworkers and my superiors and when I walk through the cafeteria at lunch, my head is high, even though I know there are snipers in the crowd. 

My husband is a fantastic person who supports me and was right by my side within minutes of my office "confrontation" years ago. His co-workers (some of them) know about my site and they don't hold it against me, at least not to my face. Even if they did, who cares what narrow minds think?

Personally, if I were an employer, I would be MUCH more concerned about someone with a criminal background or violent behavior before I would give a second thought to a person who had nekkid pics on the interwebs.


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## MancFA (Dec 2, 2008)

Buffie said:


> Reminded her that it wasn't because of MY MOUTH that I was in her office. She sat there with her jaw on her desk and her wheels were probably turning in the direction of 'did I just get the company slapped with a discrimination suit?'



Lol, really heart-warming post Buffie, I would have loved to have seen that meeting. Youre completely right as well, employees should be judged on what they bring to the workplace (from both a social/team-working and business/technical perspective) and not things they choose to keep separate from the work environment in their spare time - unfortunately this is evidently not always the case. Whoever the sneaky person who brought it up is was well out of order, I hate office bitchiness. But anyway, obviously there are some professions like teaching which should rule out paysite modelling but that certainly doesnt mean theres anything unethical or immoral about it, quite the opposite in fact in the case of BBWs; it should be seen as empowering and admirable.


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## HDANGEL15 (Dec 2, 2008)

loggamatt said:


> "So, have all your work friends seen your girlfriend's site? Have your parents? It's ok, I know... don't worry about it, I'm sure they'll never need to find out. How about you just photocopy my file for me? Then I'm sure it'll all go away..."
> 
> Obviously, this only applies to certain sensitive jobs so it's the minority... but I have worked for the Police and I know that the potential for this sort of thing is something they take very seriously.


*
interesting....to go totally OFF TOPIC...do you have any idea how many cops / firemen I have met from Craigs List...looking for a casual encounter...why is that ....hmmmm *


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## Rowan (Dec 2, 2008)

Two of my supervisors at work and many of my coworkers actually know that I have been on sites and do pin-up work...and no one has ever said a bad word about it. I think they are suprised that there is that side to me when they know what im like at work. Ive actually had a gal say she knew who i was online and hinted that she has done some of the same work! lol


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## Buffie (Dec 2, 2008)

MancFA said:


> Lol, really heart-warming post Buffie, I would have loved to have seen that meeting. Youre completely right as well, employees should be judged on what they bring to the workplace (from both a social/team-working and business/technical perspective) and not things they choose to keep separate from the work environment in their spare time - unfortunately this is evidently not always the case. Whoever the sneaky person who brought it up is was well out of order, I hate office bitchiness. But anyway, obviously there are some professions like teaching which should rule out paysite modelling but that certainly doesnt mean theres anything unethical or immoral about it, quite the opposite in fact in the case of BBWs; it should be seen as empowering and admirable.



Aww shucks. :blush: Thanks. 

I don't disagree with background checks for certain jobs, although I think there is such a thing as digging too deeply. Privacy is important and should be respected.

But if your employer is going to get all up in your junk, they should do it from the get go, so you have the option to say no, I don't want to work for you.

Don't wait until a person has worked there for a year, done a good job, had good reviews then say 'hey, we saw your boobs and we've got a problem with that'. If you have a problem with boobs, fucking put it on the application.

-off soapbox-



You're right that a paysite model would probably be instantly ruled out for a teaching position. But I wonder, why do people think they shouldn't be nude models or pin ups? If they're not abusing their students or mingling it with work, how does it matter? 

Not that I would ever try to get a job as a teacher, because it's a hyper conservative industry and I would absolutely suffocate in that environment.... But I'd like to think that people would never assume I would pose any sort of harm to their children because of my website. That's bonkers, to me.


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## kayrae (Dec 2, 2008)

This made me laugh. 



Buffie said:


> If you have a problem with boobs, fucking put it on the application.


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