# Virgin Roll Call



## rg770Ibanez (Dec 22, 2009)

This thread probably wont't get a lot of responses lol but yeah lately it seems like im the only virgin out here so I was just seeing if there was any fellow virgins on here. And also I was wondering if I should go ahead and just lose my virginity because all my friends are like "dude you're not saving yourself for your spouse, she's going to want you to be experienced." Is this true? And would it really be that awkward and that big of a deal if I wasn't experienced. I would like to think she would enjoy "showing me the ropes" so to speak lol. I would greatly appreciate any advice. And once again where are my fellow virgins noobs at?!


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## Weirdo890 (Dec 22, 2009)

Don't worry, you're not the only virgin on here. You've got me. I've never even had a girlfriend or been out on a date.

As for those other questions you've asked, you're going to have to find out for yourself. I'm as clueless as you.  The best advice I can give you is just let whatever happens happen. It may not be satisfying advice but it's the best I've got.


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## Jes (Dec 22, 2009)

i think half the active posters here at virgins, dude. or so it seems!


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## iamaJenny (Dec 22, 2009)

Well, I'm a virgin too so you are definitely not alone :blush:


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## the_captain (Dec 22, 2009)

rg770Ibanez said:


> This thread probably wont't get a lot of responses lol but yeah lately it seems like im the only virgin out here so I was just seeing if there was any fellow virgins on here. And also I was wondering if I should go ahead and just lose my virginity because all my friends are like "dude you're not saving yourself for your spouse, she's going to want you to be experienced." Is this true? And would it really be that awkward and that big of a deal if I wasn't experienced. I would like to think she would enjoy "showing me the ropes" so to speak lol. I would greatly appreciate any advice. And once again where are my fellow virgins noobs at?!



My ideas about sex may be viewed as old-fashioned, but so be it. My advice is to wait until you get married. To me, sex is a very personal and sacred thing. Where did your friends get to be such "experts"? Consider this: How special will it be to your future spouse when they know you have saved yourself just for them? How special would it be to you? There is a lot of pressure today from everywhere - peers, Hollyweird, etc. - to just go ahead and have sex with whomever you want whenever you want. Trust me, there is a big difference between "having sex" and "making love". I won't go into disease prevention, or divorce statistics for couples who engaged in sex before marriage vs. those who waited. There are plenty of places online to look that up. It's the emotional and spiritual bonding that comes from waiting until marriage that I'm talking about. Again, that's my personal opinion, maybe not popular nowadays, YMMV. But at least think about it.


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## Forgotten_Futures (Dec 22, 2009)

Been on a Date: Yes
Had a Girlfriend: No
Enjoyed Cuddling: Yes
Enjoyed a Makeout: Yes
Had Sex: No

Friends with (some) benefits: are Awesome


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## Weirdo890 (Dec 22, 2009)

Forgotten_Futures said:


> Been on a Date: Yes
> Had a Girlfriend: No
> Enjoyed Cuddling: Yes
> Enjoyed a Makeout: Yes
> ...



You lucky, lucky bastard.


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## smithnwesson (Dec 23, 2009)

It's been so long since I've had any that I might requalify.


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## rg770Ibanez (Dec 23, 2009)

Weirdo890 said:


> You lucky, lucky bastard.



hahahahaha, thanks for the replies guys :]
apparently there isn't too many of us left :[ 
It's all good though


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## activistfatgirl (Dec 23, 2009)

rg770Ibanez, judging from the reactions to your recent photo on the photo thread, I'm guessing there might be some folks here willing to help you out with that small problem.

NOT THAT IT'S A PROBLEM!

But, well, to be totally honest, I'm in the "I want experience" category. But I'm sure there's others who aren't. 

Bidding war?


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## rg770Ibanez (Dec 23, 2009)

OH IT'S A PROBLEM NOW!? 
Look's like I'm about to go find some random hooker and seal the deal!
Thanks a lot activistfatgirl


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## mel (Dec 23, 2009)

considering I have two children,I must say I am not  however I can tell you that I think it is pretty damn cool that you have waited. It is a special thing to give up and I think at the very least.. if you wait to have the first time with someone you truly care about..it will be much more worth while


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## Weirdo890 (Dec 23, 2009)

rg770Ibanez said:


> OH IT'S A PROBLEM NOW!?
> Look's like I'm about to go find some random hooker and seal the deal!
> Thanks a lot activistfatgirl



Can you get one for me too. Help a fellow virgin? Please.


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## Keb (Dec 23, 2009)

I am one also...and probably the oldest here, at 29. 

I intend to wait until I'm married, for a number of reasons. I'm just hoping I can find a guy who thinks that's awesome.


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## Adamantoise (Dec 23, 2009)

Add me to the list-I am frustrated concerning my loneliness,but I think I am becoming quite apathetic about it.


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## Jon Blaze (Dec 23, 2009)

I'm two years older than you kicko.

Granted, I might be losing mine very soon, BUT I still have it at 22.

I like to kiss (Despite my lack of ability), and I love to cuddle. But I've never gone the whole way.


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## rg770Ibanez (Dec 23, 2009)

Weirdo890 said:


> Can you get one for me too. Help a fellow virgin? Please.



Dude, fo sho lol


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## Mathias (Dec 24, 2009)

I'm still a virgin and it doesn't bother me too much.


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## Fluffy51888 (Dec 24, 2009)

Aw, I really like this thread. I love that you've waited. I'm a virgin, too, and I love the idea of my husband and I being each others firsts. I feel like the awkwardness is better when it's both parties experiencing it. So yea, I totally respect a guy who waits.


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## Paquito (Dec 24, 2009)

Virgin here. Not worried about it.


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## LovelyLiz (Dec 24, 2009)

Just to clarify...since "virgin" means different things to different people, and "sex" does too...what qualifies as losing your virginity for this thread? 

Does oral sex count? handjob/fingering? any kind of orgasm brought on by another person? only vaginal intercourse? 

I used to only think of "sex" as penis-->vagina intercourse, but then a friend of mine who is a lesbian pointed out that under that definition she and many of her friends remain technical virgins since some of them have not had (and don't intend to have) that type of intercourse, even though they do all kinds of various sexual activities.

So sometimes "virgin talk" gets confusing to me, because someone could blow half the men in the city and a lot of people might still consider him/her a virgin if s/he hasn't had sexual intercourse. Weird.

Would you mind clarifying what you mean by "virgin"? Thanks  Interesting idea for a thread!


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## Your Plump Princess (Dec 24, 2009)

I'd Say I'm a Half Virgin? 
I've Never Been Touched, But I've Given Pleasure To Others? 

So Maybe I'm More than Half a Virgin? I don't know, These Discussions can be Tricky!




Also,
As for just "Going and Losing it cause yer Womanz gonna wantchu experiencd"

Not all Women Are Into That. 
Just Like Not All Men Want Really "Trained" Women.


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## liz (di-va) (Dec 24, 2009)

Maybe _demi-vierge_ needs to be revived.

This is a great thread. Stand up and be counted!

I was a virgin until spectacularly late and life and can tell you there are wayyyyyyy more virgins out there than people think or would even speak up here. No shame.


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## Inhibited (Dec 24, 2009)

Please don't have sex just for the sack of having sex, i really wish i had waited........... I'm not really bothered by someone who has a lack of experience as I'am as well, but i do like someone who isn't reluctant to get in there and have a go...


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## qwertyman173 (Dec 24, 2009)

Virgin here too. It is good to see that others are in the same position, and have the same views as me


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## Ruffie (Dec 24, 2009)

My husband and I were each others first. Its true we learned together what rings each others respective bells, and learning was fun. I am not against pre marital sex, but for both of us it was important to find someone we truly trusted before we fully gave of ourselves. Sometimes I wonder what I missed out on-am I any good is he and so on. When bemusing it with friends they said nope there are a few guys who really know what they are doing but mostly one is like the other and that they envied what I had. After 24 years the bells still ring, just not as often as they used to LOL


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## rg770Ibanez (Dec 25, 2009)

Thanks again for all the awesome replies 
Merry Christmas!
And Fluffy, we should hang out some time. I live pretty close to you I think lol.


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## Tracii (Dec 25, 2009)

I think its great that you have waited.I would think the right girl would feel really good about you being a virgin.It would be great if you both were when that time came.
No shame in being a virgin IMO.


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## Saoirse (Dec 25, 2009)

And theres no shame in NOT being a virgin.


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## Your Plump Princess (Dec 25, 2009)

Saoirse said:


> And theres no shame in NOT being a virgin.


Totally Not! No Shame Anywhere! 


Shaaame Shaaame Go Awaayyy, Come Again Some Other Daaay..


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## fffff (Dec 26, 2009)

My boyfriend will be 28 next week and he is a virgin. Although he has not had sex for religious reasons, knowing that he isn't just another guy out there looking for sex was a major reason why I felt comfortable enough to trust him and build a relationship. 

I've had sex two times in my life. Hated it. I can honestly say that if I died at 110 without ever having sex again I would be really ok with that.


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## Forgotten_Futures (Dec 26, 2009)

Jon Blaze said:


> I'm two years older than you kicko.
> 
> Granted, I might be losing mine very soon, BUT I still have it at 22.
> 
> I like to kiss (Despite my lack of ability), and I love to cuddle. But I've never gone the whole way.



I'm told I kiss well. This is good for self confidence, no?

I love cuddling.

And perhaps it's the lack of having had it that makes me this way, but I honestly prefer the kind of run-of-the-mill intimacy two friends can engage in shamelessly to actual sex.


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## ATF (Dec 26, 2009)

I'm a virgin too. 23 looking for love.


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## Aust99 (Dec 26, 2009)

I don't think you should rush into it to 'get it over with and get some experience'... I think you should wait until your with someone you trust and really want to be with... it's so much better then... and the right girl won't mind at all that your a virgin... So have fun finding her:happy:


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## Shosh (Dec 26, 2009)

fffff said:


> My boyfriend will be 28 next week and he is a virgin. Although he has not had sex for religious reasons, knowing that he isn't just another guy out there looking for sex was a major reason why I felt comfortable enough to trust him and build a relationship.
> 
> I've had sex two times in my life. Hated it. I can honestly say that if I died at 110 without ever having sex again I would be really ok with that.



I think having pleasurable sex and intimacy takes a caring and loving parter who is willing to be responsive to your needs.

Don't give up on making love just yet. It gets better. I promise.


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## Flutterby68 (Dec 26, 2009)

I'm on the other side of the fence. I don't think there is anything laudable or especially wonderful about remaining a virgin past the age of ... oh, 21 or so. And even that is relatively late. I don't advocate setting up shop with a "take a number" waiting room, but preserving the virginity is just.... silly and an archaic leftover from a patriarchal society IMO. At least when it's done with the "I'm better than you because I'm a virgin" mentality or the "I'm saving myself for marriage" thing.

For one thing, I would NEVER EVER consider *MARRYING *someone, spending the rest of my life with that person, unless we were sexually compatible. And that is something it is important to find out BEFORE the vows are spoken. (I'm not going to really get into the bit about not having sex for religious reasons. Suffice it to say that I am of the opinion that religious reasons for doing (or not doing) ANYTHING is ridiculous because I find religion itself to be ridiculous. But I also understand that certain behavior is prohibited in the minds of religious people, and that's their choice.)

But I DO worry about those who remain virgins into their twenties and later. I'm sure some are due to lack of opportunity. Others due to fear. But please keep in mind that if you want yourself and your eventual partner to both be virgins when you finally do it together, you may be building up a fantasy in your mind that is far from realistic. For a female, losing your virginity HURTS unless you're very physically active (gymnasts, riding horseback, etc.) - which I doubt that people of size are. In addition, it may sound romantic to find someone to learn with rather than learn from.... but I think it's better that one partner has experience. Then there is the possibility of reassurance that certain things are normal, the ability to soothe fears and anxieties, and most importantly... the ability to ensure that the virgin has a pleasurable experience rather than a nightmare. Take it from one who has been there.

So..if you want to remain a virgin for whatever reason, please AT LEAST be sure it's for a good reason.


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## Weirdo890 (Dec 26, 2009)

Flutterby68 said:


> I'm on the other side of the fence. I don't think there is anything laudable or especially wonderful about remaining a virgin past the age of ... oh, 21 or so. And even that is relatively late. I don't advocate setting up shop with a "take a number" waiting room, but preserving the virginity is just.... silly and an archaic leftover from a patriarchal society IMO. At least when it's done with the "I'm better than you because I'm a virgin" mentality or the "I'm saving myself for marriage" thing.
> 
> For one thing, I would NEVER EVER consider *MARRYING *someone, spending the rest of my life with that person, unless we were sexually compatible. And that is something it is important to find out BEFORE the vows are spoken. (I'm not going to really get into the bit about not having sex for religious reasons. Suffice it to say that I am of the opinion that religious reasons for doing (or not doing) ANYTHING is ridiculous because I find religion itself to be ridiculous. But I also understand that certain behavior is prohibited in the minds of religious people, and that's their choice.)
> 
> ...



Very good argument for the other side of the issue, but what do you consider to be a GOOD reason for staying a virgin? Just for clarity.

Either than that, I like your argument. Both sides have strong arguments. I guess in the end it's all up to the person in question. It's a personal choice.


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## Saoirse (Dec 26, 2009)

Flutterby68 said:


> I'm on the other side of the fence. I don't think there is anything laudable or especially wonderful about remaining a virgin past the age of ... oh, 21 or so. And even that is relatively late. I don't advocate setting up shop with a "take a number" waiting room, but preserving the virginity is just.... silly and an archaic leftover from a patriarchal society IMO. At least when it's done with the "I'm better than you because I'm a virgin" mentality or the "I'm saving myself for marriage" thing.
> 
> For one thing, I would NEVER EVER consider *MARRYING *someone, spending the rest of my life with that person, unless we were sexually compatible. And that is something it is important to find out BEFORE the vows are spoken. (I'm not going to really get into the bit about not having sex for religious reasons. Suffice it to say that I am of the opinion that religious reasons for doing (or not doing) ANYTHING is ridiculous because I find religion itself to be ridiculous. But I also understand that certain behavior is prohibited in the minds of religious people, and that's their choice.)
> 
> ...



Im pretty much with you on this.


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## Keb (Dec 26, 2009)

Flutterby68 said:


> So..if you want to remain a virgin for whatever reason, please AT LEAST be sure it's for a good reason.



You've got some good and reasonable arguments, so I'd like to give you my reasons. 

First of all, my feelings about abortion as a birth control method come into this. While I believe abortion is acceptable in self-defence and should therefore not be outlawed, I don't believe that it's ethical to have abortion in anything but the most extreme circumstances. Since no other birth control method is capable of preventing pregnancy 100% of the time, I feel my only responsible choice is to be abstinent until I'm at least mostly prepared to welcome a child into my life. 

I also believe that children fare best in most cases when raised by married parents, so I don't believe I'll be ready to welcome children into my life until I'm married. That means, for me at least, sex is out until I'm married. It comes down to responsibility and the life that I want to give my children and my future husband. 

All that is really aside from my religious beliefs--but I believe that the underlying logic of religious prohibitions against sex outside of marriage is to protect both children and married couples. I think that scientific research into relationships backs up my positions as well, so I'm fairly confident in my choices. 

I know life isn't perfect and that stuff happens, but I'm not going to take actions that I believe would hurt my future family for momentary pleasures in the present anymore than I would go deeply into debt for a wild and wonderful shopping spree today. 

That doesn't mean I don't want sex...I actually think I have a pretty high sex drive; I'm a very physical, affectionate person, and I'm quite impatient for the right guy to come into my life. He will have to be someone who understands how very highly I value the power of sex, however. To me, it is a sacred part of the bond of marriage. I think a lot of people assume that a virgin of my age must dislike sex or have really negative feelings about it, and for me, that's not the case. I just happen to think it's so important that it deserves the most serious of commitments first.

When I do have sex, I want to be able to completely surrender to the experience. I just can't see myself doing that before I'm married.


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## PhatChk (Dec 27, 2009)

You can probably tell by looking at me...Been told that before -_-. I have had bf before but it has never gone further than making out.


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## LovelyLiz (Dec 27, 2009)

PhatChk said:


> You can probably tell by looking at me...Been told that before -_-. I have had bf before but it has never gone further than making out.



What? Who told you that before - your gynecologist?  If it wasn't your ob/gyn who said that while looking inside of you, no one could tell by looking at you...what a strange thing for someone to say.


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## PhatChk (Dec 27, 2009)

mcbeth said:


> What? Who told you that before - your gynecologist?  If it wasn't your ob/gyn who said that while looking inside of you, no one could tell by looking at you...what a strange thing for someone to say.



haha ..the sad thing it was 3 different people lol


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## URTalking2Jenn (Dec 27, 2009)

I think you and me are eye to eye on this. I agree with you, but a lot of it has to do with my religious beliefs. I understand people having sex before marriage, not everyone wants marriage, but I want a marriage first. 

I look forward to learning with my husband. I don't want to wonder if I'm the best, or if I'm doing it right, Shoot we can learn all we know from each other. That's kind of the fun. But that's my point of view.



Keb said:


> You've got some good and reasonable arguments, so I'd like to give you my reasons.
> 
> First of all, my feelings about abortion as a birth control method come into this. While I believe abortion is acceptable in self-defence and should therefore not be outlawed, I don't believe that it's ethical to have abortion in anything but the most extreme circumstances. Since no other birth control method is capable of preventing pregnancy 100% of the time, I feel my only responsible choice is to be abstinent until I'm at least mostly prepared to welcome a child into my life.
> 
> ...


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## 0nlnn (Dec 27, 2009)

I'm still a virgin. I do not really believe in waiting until I am married, I just believe in waiting for the right person. Thus far in my life I have not met the right person, but when I do, oh boy.


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## PhatChk (Dec 27, 2009)

0nlnn said:


> I'm still a virgin. I do not really believe in waiting until I am married, I just believe in waiting for the right person. Thus far in my life I have not met the right person, but when I do, oh boy.



Same train of thought ^_^ lol


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## 0nlnn (Dec 27, 2009)

PhatChk said:


> Same train of thought ^_^ lol



Oh yeah? Maybe you and I should meet up some time :eat2:


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## freakyfred (Dec 27, 2009)

Another one reporting in. Haven't even kissed a girl. Feels bad man : (


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## 0nlnn (Dec 27, 2009)

freakyfred said:


> Another one reporting in. Haven't even kissed a girl. Feels bad man : (



Don't feel bad, man. I think i kissed a girl once when I was in elementary school. I honestly don't remember, but either way it doesn't really count.


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## Weirdo890 (Dec 28, 2009)

0nlnn said:


> Don't feel bad, man. I think i kissed a girl once when I was in elementary school. I honestly don't remember, but either way it doesn't really count.



I remember kissing a girl in the first grade, but that's the extent of it. The only other instance is when a female friend of mine gave me a peck on the cheek as she greeted me at the door. It wasn't anything special as she was welcoming me to her birthday party, and she did it to the other guys that came as well.


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## Weirdo890 (Dec 28, 2009)

I guess my attitude towards this issue is _Que sera sera_, which means "What will be, will be". I'll just see what happens.


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## Jon Blaze (Dec 28, 2009)

I've had MANY situations where I could have lost mine with past partners and people interested in me. I've chosen not to or just flat out not been very lucky.

If it doesn't feel right, there shouldn't be any reason to just get it out of the way. Most are well aware that the first time may not be the best, but I would think there is appeal in having a long lasting relationship where one or both parties understand each other, that fact and don't let it stop them from continuing something good.

Right now I'm in a situation where it's likely to happen very soon. There's no rush. I'm going to be sure to romantic it up lol, but it was something that popped in both of our heads because we connected so well.


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## Jezzebelle (Dec 28, 2009)

I'm waiting because it'll make the ride more fun. Also, just because you don't have intercourse doesn't mean you can't have fun other ways.


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## Lastminute.Tom (Dec 29, 2009)

when I was 13 I lied about loosing my virginity because I was scared that I was going to be the last one in my year to have sex, it's like a damn self-fulfilling prophecy

that was ten years ago, I guess at the moment I want it too bad, I keep getting nervous in steamy situations and I can't perform; I keep thinking the situation is going to end with people laughing at me because I'm a virgin or just a terrible shag, it's really hard to be on your game when your heads full of anxiety

I finally told all my mates about it, alot didn't believe me or thought I was joking, some immediately tried to find hookers but I called them off, it's nice to know how far your mates will go for you though; even my father offered to find a high class prostitute but I wouldn't go that far, I mean part of me thinks I should just to get it out the way dispel some of the nerves and move on but I guess it's been so long I want something special but at the same time I'm pretty sure I'm going to be a crap lay my first time


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## Jon Blaze (Dec 29, 2009)

I felt that way in the past too. I foresaw at 15 that I would be the last among my siblings to lose my V. Turns out I was right. My younger sister is pregnant, and all of my older siblings are years down the road.

It became a big problem because in the past I had been dumped because of my experience level. Thankfully I found someone that understands it and still likes me. 

Best of luck to you Tom.


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## LovelyLiz (Dec 29, 2009)

Lastminute.Tom said:


> I mean part of me thinks I should just to get it out the way dispel some of the nerves and move on but I guess it's been so long I want something special but at the same time I'm pretty sure I'm going to be a crap lay my first time





Jon Blaze said:


> It became a big problem because in the past I had been dumped because of my experience level. Thankfully I found someone that understands it and still likes me.
> 
> Best of luck to you Tom.



You guys are both awesome - and if a woman is willing and patient and actually cares about YOU, even before knowing the full extent of your sexy skillz, then even tho the first experience of sex may not rock her world on a physical level, but it can still be a great experience of connecting to each other; and from there you can have fun working on discovering how to rock each other's worlds. 

Props and encouragement to you both. You are quality men. (And glad to hear about the cool new woman in your life, Jon!)


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## hillking12 (Dec 29, 2009)

21 year old Virgin checking in. I try to not make a big deal about but sometimes its hard not to think about it. ive had 2 oppurtunites in the past but i was just fearful and it didnt feel right. i wanted to be in a relationship these two didnt. So idk i just think that when it is meant to happen it will happen.


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## Fluffy51888 (Dec 30, 2009)

rg770Ibanez said:


> Thanks again for all the awesome replies
> Merry Christmas!
> And Fluffy, we should hang out some time. I live pretty close to you I think lol.



Aw, where do you live?


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## rg770Ibanez (Dec 30, 2009)

Hahaha Mooresville, NC
It's honestly probably not that close to where you live lol. 
I went to a show in Colombia a few weeks ago and took me like two hours to get there. So yeah we technically don't live that close to each other :[


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## Fluffy51888 (Dec 31, 2009)

rg770Ibanez said:


> Hahaha Mooresville, NC
> It's honestly probably not that close to where you live lol.
> I went to a show in Colombia a few weeks ago and took me like two hours to get there. So yeah we technically don't live that close to each other :[



Yea, Columbia is about an hour and a half away from me...


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## bmann0413 (Dec 31, 2009)

Weirdo890 said:


> Don't worry, you're not the only virgin on here. You've got me. I've never even had a girlfriend or been out on a date.



You're not alone in that boat, buddy.


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## Paquito (Dec 31, 2009)

Weirdo890 said:


> Don't worry, you're not the only virgin on here. You've got me. I've never even had a girlfriend or been out on a date.





bmann0413 said:


> You're not alone in that boat, buddy.



Let's start a club.


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## rg770Ibanez (Dec 31, 2009)

Fluffy51888 said:


> Yea, Columbia is about an hour and a half away from me...



Well if it's North of you then that's three and a half hours. If it's south of then that's 30 minutes


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## fatgirlflyin (Dec 31, 2009)

Flutterby68 said:


> For a female, losing your virginity HURTS unless you're very physically active (gymnasts, riding horseback, etc.) - which I doubt that people of size are.




How long have you been coming around here?? If you've spent any amount of time actually reading about the experiences of other fat people you'd see that in fact many can be and are quite physically active. 

Also, losing my virginity didn't hurt me and I was nether a gymnast or a horseback rider.


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## littlefairywren (Dec 31, 2009)

fatgirlflyin said:


> How long have you been coming around here?? If you've spent any amount of time actually reading about the experiences of other fat people you'd see that in fact many can be and are quite physically active.
> 
> Also, *losing my virginity didn't hurt me and I was nether a gymnast or a horseback rider*.



Didn't hurt me either, quite the opposite in fact. Sorry Flutterby, but I always thought that was a bit of an old wives tale. And I have never been a gymnast nor a horsey person either.


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## Hathor (Dec 31, 2009)

the_captain said:


> My ideas about sex may be viewed as old-fashioned, but so be it. My advice is to wait until you get married. To me, sex is a very personal and sacred thing.



I'm a virgin for this reason too. I'm a traditionalist.


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## Flutterby68 (Jan 1, 2010)

littlefairywren said:


> Didn't hurt me either, quite the opposite in fact. Sorry Flutterby, but I always thought that was a bit of an old wives tale. And I have never been a gymnast nor a horsey person either.



It is far from a wives' tale, it's a medical fact. However, the thickness of the hymen is the most important factor in that regard.


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## mossystate (Jan 1, 2010)

Didn't hurt me, either. Oh, and, to me, sex is very personal, and yet I have still had me some. 

Ah....memories.


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## Famouslastwords (Jan 1, 2010)

I don't know. I'm of the mind that I want at least a devirginized guy. I had sex with one virgin. The first time he slipped out and it felt good rubbing him there on my clit, three rubs and he came...lol! I didn't even get to put him back in! It got better the more we practiced but that first time is always something that is going to make me laugh. No matter how much you masturbate- nothing prepares you for REAL sex.

On another note: I'm a virgin.....margarita drinker.


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## Hathor (Jan 1, 2010)

Famouslastwords said:


> I don't know. I'm of the mind that I want at least a devirginized guy. I had sex with one virgin. The first time he slipped out and it felt good rubbing him there on my clit, three rubs and he came...lol! I didn't even get to put him back in! It got better the more we practiced but that first time is always something that is going to make me laugh. No matter how much you masturbate- nothing prepares you for REAL sex.
> 
> On another note: I'm a virgin.....margarita drinker.



Boy that sure reminds me of that part of "Detroit Rock City" where Edward Furlong's character came when that woman rubbed her toe over it. LOL


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## Sensualbbwcurves (Mar 15, 2010)

I am not a virgin, but I think it's cool that you are. I personally think, yous hould wait until someone comes along that you REALLY care about. Inmy personal opinion sex is something very special, and should be shared with someone that you love, so I suggest waiting


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## hillking12 (Mar 15, 2010)

Sensualbbwcurves said:


> I am not a virgin, but I think it's cool that you are. I personally think, yous hould wait until someone comes along that you REALLY care about. Inmy personal opinion sex is something very special, and should be shared with someone that you love, so I suggest waiting



Thats what everbody says


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## spiritangel (Mar 15, 2010)

I am not, but I have to say just doing it to loose your virginity isnt any fun and something you may regret, I am the perfect example of that, I was 2 weeks off my 22nd birthday, had just come out of my first serious relationship and we almost did but he was scared ( was a bit strange but yeah) anyway Met a Dr, who manipulated me into it and I was bored bored bored, remember asking if we could sleep as the sun was comming up ect it ended up as a one night stand, by my choice, as I really felt shattered the next day like wtf? I have only ever had sex within my other two relationships both long term, and it was better and with someone you have real chemistry with it can be amazing. I always think the most important thing is to be true to yourself, if you have that inner voice that says its time then go for it, if not start putting yourself out into the world more, and mayby you will find him/her, but it is a matter of following your heart. I dont regret Dr Peter because that one incident shook me to my foundations and got me to take a good look at who I was and what I wanted and I learnt from it, somedays I wish I was the kind of person who could do the whole casual sex thing, but its just not who I am and I am ok with that, although I know a few men to whom it was a huge dissappointment. So the bottom line is stay true to yourself and your beliefs, be prepared to re evaluate at times and see if they still hold true for yourself and there is nothing to be ashamed of if your still a virgin for religous or other reasons


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## Micara (Mar 16, 2010)

Seeing as I lost my virginity at age 16 just to "get it over with", ended up getting knocked up, and now have a 12-year-old at the ripe ol' age of 28, I can't say I made the best decisions where sex was concerned. So from the other side of things, I'd say there's absolutely nothing wrong with waiting until you're sure. Of course, there's nothing wrong with not waiting either. It's up to the individual and what they feel, and nobody should judge them for that. If I could go back, would I do things differently? Maybe. But I wouldn't have my daughter who, although she is currently driving me insane, is the best thing in my life and has shaped me into the person that I am now.


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## calauria (Mar 16, 2010)

Sensualbbwcurves said:


> I am not a virgin, but I think it's cool that you are. I personally think, yous hould wait until someone comes along that you REALLY care about. Inmy personal opinion sex is something very special, and should be shared with someone that you love, so I suggest waiting



I agree also...Wait for that special person...


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## kayes22 (Mar 18, 2010)

I'm a virgin too. A horny one :blush: lol
But it really is nice to see that there are so many people to relate to!


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## That Guy You Met Once (Mar 18, 2010)

calauria said:


> I agree also...Wait for that special person...



I always thought that was odd advice. Of course you shouldn't run out to your nearest bar and proposition folks, or settle for some jackass - but I always thought the "wait until you find the person you want to marry" argument was flawed.

As personal and special as sex may be, I'm convinced that the emotional connection is much more so, and *that*, not sex, should be the basis of your most committed relationship - and that you shouldn't deny yourself physical pleasures because you're waiting for someone you connect with in a mostly unrelated way.


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## Crystal (Mar 18, 2010)

Wow, it's hard to believe that at this time last year, I was still a virgin and had no prospects of sex happening whatsoever.

I would have posted in this group, even, had it existed.

It's surprising how much can change in a year. From no chance of sex, to sex, to no longer speaking to the guy, to lots of sex with a new guy...yeah, wow. 

For those who are waiting, I absolutely respect your choice to do so.  More power to all of you.


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## DJ_S (Mar 23, 2010)

Well I'm not now, but I did hold out for what seemed like ages. I was in the frame of mind (still am) of holding back until I meet some one who I have a connection with and more then just a physical level.

I had no problems with being a virgin, but I did with myself lol and felt frustrated amongst other things, but that's another thread.

It's best you wait until your ready, whatever age that might be  , just don't rush in! (or out?  )


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## gobettiepurple (May 1, 2010)

*Hey everyone . . . I am actually pretty proud to be a virgin. I don't think its archaic to want to wait for someone that loves me . . . I mean, I am catholic as well and I have a feeling that I have a different understanding of love and intimacy than some people, but I don't "do things" with other men because I wonder how my future husband, where ever he may be, would feel about that if he knew.

But I think it is kind of different for guys. There is a definite double standard. Where a girl is a virgin, she is pure and innocent. Sometimes, other guys will view virginal guys as inexperienced losers. Just because you don't have sex doesn't mean you can't be knowledgable and experience in the ways of the world.

And sexual compatibility can be found out without actually having sex . . . plus, part of loving someone [romantically] is giving oneself to them completely. It's akin to those couples that met [like my grandparents] and instantly knew that they were the right person for them - without ever having had sex and waiting until marriage. Well, both sets of grandparents were married 50 years plus.

For a long time, I said I wouldn't wait for marriage, but at least for the right person who actually loved me . . . well, some guys don't want to wait that long and have told me they would "be right there with me" if I ever wanted to "take care of it". I am sorrry, but that totally turned me off. Perhaps I have too high expectations to expect people to at least love and court me beforehand. 

So maybe it is a bit "old-fashioned", but just as I do not conform to modern ideal of stick-thin models as the epitome of beauty - so to do I have higher expectations of myself and my future husband.

plus, i know from many of my friends that waited til they got married [whether they were virgins before or not], that it all works out in the end, and awkward, uncomfortable but loving honeymoon sex is amazing in and of itself . . . 

But I think its for each person to decide what they want in their life. Calling someone's choices "archaic" is kind of like a slap in the face. Claiming that we "better have a good reason" is kind of rude as well. But that's just my opinion *


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## spiritangel (May 1, 2010)

gobettiepurple I think it is a matter of doing what feels right for you, some people will admire you for it others wont, that is their choice, I cant imagine sleeping with someone just for sex's sake, that isnt who I am but I wont condemn others who do just like I wont judge someone for being a virgin life is far to short and it takes many types of people to keep this world turning so to speak

Big squishy hugs and lots of Admiration for sticking to your beliefs and being so strong in them


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## jtgw (May 2, 2010)

I think this notion of a double standard is interesting. I'd like to know where it comes from. It certainly doesn't come from traditional Christian morality, since Christianity has always taught that both men and women must remain virgins until marriage.


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## Jon Blaze (May 3, 2010)

Still going on this end.


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## pdgujer148 (May 3, 2010)

I lost my virginity @ 14 OR 15. 

Bad memories. It was awkward, loveless, and embarrassing. My motivation was peer pressure, her motivation was proving to herself that she wasn't gay. 

Drunk on 3.2 beer. In a field. Terrified. 20 minutes of awkwardness. Just putting on a condom and retaining an erection was an ordeal. 

It hurt for her. I had no idea if I was indoors our out. 

We didn't talk much after that. She was a 117 pound track runner; I was a closet FA. I was a man, she was attracted to women.

The experience turned me off of sex for almost a decade. To the extent that I passed over a person who is very likely a soul-mate simply because I did not want to deal with the humiliation again.

Not to imply that this is A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE of the "Virgin Roll Call". I have no idea if my experiences are typical or atypical. I'm a weird bird. I accept all variations of sexual expression, but remain conservative at a personal level. 

My advice is to loose your virginity with someone you love and trust. It doesn't matter if you are 20 or 50. Make sure you care about your partner before you have sex with her.

All the same, there is no shame in experimenting and enjoying your youth, 

I will point out that there is a slight lie being spent by the folks that prefer experience. Every person has a different set of toggles and switches. It isn't so much important that you know them from experience than it is that you have the imagination to flip them and the humility to hold your hand when they don't work as planned.


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## fiddypence (May 3, 2010)

I'm still a virgin, 24 years old. It's not really the plan, it just seems to work out that way.

I dated someone who wouldn't have sex with me for religious reasons. I dated some other people who I was attracted to enough to have sex with. 
I've had opportunities to take advantage of drunk women but that never seemed appealing.

It is what it is.


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## CastingPearls (May 3, 2010)

I will never commit to another person again unless we are sexually compatible.
Platitudes aside, personal experience has convinced me that it is essential to my happiness. I'm a highly sexual and sensual being and need someone willing to explore and experiment and have the stamina to do so very often. I'm not for the passive or faint-of-heart. In fact, it repulses me.
Although experienced and knowledgeable I did not do the 'actual deed' until well into adulthood, so I'm neutral about the virginity thing. Do what's best for you.
Oh and honeymoon sex can be but isn't always wonderful. We were exhausted from our wedding, the resort screwed up our reservations and put us in an alternative low rate room for the first night, it was freezing cold and we fell asleep with our clothes on. And I have enough friends to know my experience isn't unique.


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## JoeVanHalen (May 3, 2010)

<<< still waiting to be deflowered


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## gobettiepurple (Jun 7, 2010)

jtgw said:


> I think this notion of a double standard is interesting. I'd like to know where it comes from. It certainly doesn't come from traditional Christian morality, since Christianity has always taught that both men and women must remain virgins until marriage.



*If we look at the history of christianity, then yes it was taught that men and women should remain chaste until marriage. however, if we look at it from the socio-political historical standpoint, it was in fact the woman remaining a virgin that was emphasised. Marriage in the past few centuries was not about love - it was about titles and proptery ownership. Men were allowed much more power over their own bodies and what they did with them. A betrothal contract could be voided if a women was not a virgin upon entering the marriage bed - but the door did not swing both ways, at least in the past.

I am not sure what the origin of the double standard could be traced to - but I think it has more to do with men having more control and power do what they pleased, while women until recently lacked that right. Of course, as seen in historical texts and novels [like the Scarlet letter and Balthasar and Magdelena, its not that sex outside of the marriage didn't occur - its always been there [obviously, since the bible frequently talks about adultery and prostitution] but the level of social acceptance and social tolerance has changed. 

In the modern age, and with the remnants of the sexual revolution deeply entrenched in out Sex and the City obsessed, pleasure seeking hedonistic age, that virginity seems like a dirty word. Whenever it happens to come up in conversation, people stare at me like there is something wrong with me, or they ask silly questions about how its possible. I just smile, because while they think I don't know what I am missing, I know exactly what they are missing.*


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## KittyKitten (Jun 7, 2010)

_<Peeps head in thread and quickly bounces out>_


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## rg770Ibanez (Jun 8, 2010)

I need to be able to leave this thread soon! 
Finding that "special someone" takes wayyyy too long.


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## rellis10 (Jun 8, 2010)

*nervously and embarrassed arm raise*

Erm....so.....yeah....

I'm a virgin.

:blush:


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## isamarie69 (Jun 8, 2010)

How long do i have to go with out sex to be reconcidered a virgin?


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## Fat Brian (Jun 8, 2010)

gobettiepurple said:


> *plus, i know from many of my friends that waited til they got married [whether they were virgins before or not], that it all works out in the end, and awkward, uncomfortable but loving honeymoon sex is amazing in and of itself . . . *



I can promise that the sex won't be the best you will ever have but the overall experience is unforgettable.


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## Your Plump Princess (Jun 8, 2010)

What counts as losing ones virginity?


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## Aust99 (Jun 9, 2010)

umm... I'm not recommending one way or the other but my first time was something to forget... It's not a regret but as I didn't love him or really have any feelings other than friendship for him... I think I kinda just got it over and done with.... 


So... I have have had AMAZING sex since with people I've loved and people I've lusted after and all those experiences were great... don't regret a thing.


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## Micara (Jun 9, 2010)

Aust99 said:


> umm... I'm not recommending one way or the other but my first time was something to forget... It's not a regret but as I didn't love him or really have any feelings other than friendship for him... * I think I kinda just got it over and done with.... *



Same here. I wish I wouldn't have been in such a damn hurry. Of course, then I wouldn't have a daughter either, so I guess maybe it happened for a reason.


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## Aust99 (Jun 9, 2010)

double post... oops!!


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## Aust99 (Jun 9, 2010)

See... great things come out of all sorts of situations.... and, you can have all the loving yet still hot sex with your man now...:kiss2::happy:


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## willowmoon (Jun 9, 2010)

Micara said:


> Same here. I wish I wouldn't have been in such a damn hurry. Of course, then I wouldn't have a daughter either, so I guess maybe it happened for a reason.



Exactly -- at least there was definitely a very positive outcome out of it!


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## Tau (Jun 9, 2010)

gobettiepurple said:


> *If we look at the history of christianity, then yes it was taught that men and women should remain chaste until marriage. however, if we look at it from the socio-political historical standpoint, it was in fact the woman remaining a virgin that was emphasised. Marriage in the past few centuries was not about love - it was about titles and proptery ownership. Men were allowed much more power over their own bodies and what they did with them. A betrothal contract could be voided if a women was not a virgin upon entering the marriage bed - but the door did not swing both ways, at least in the past.
> 
> I am not sure what the origin of the double standard could be traced to - but I think it has more to do with men having more control and power do what they pleased, while women until recently lacked that right. Of course, as seen in historical texts and novels [like the Scarlet letter and Balthasar and Magdelena, its not that sex outside of the marriage didn't occur - its always been there [obviously, since the bible frequently talks about adultery and prostitution] but the level of social acceptance and social tolerance has changed.
> 
> In the modern age, and with the remnants of the sexual revolution deeply entrenched in out Sex and the City obsessed, pleasure seeking hedonistic age, that virginity seems like a dirty word. Whenever it happens to come up in conversation, people stare at me like there is something wrong with me, or they ask silly questions about how its possible. I just smile, because while they think I don't know what I am missing, I know exactly what they are missing.*



Totally. I read somewhere that the double standard comes from the whole issue of land and inheritance. Men owned the land - women gave birth to the babies. In the past there were no paternity tests so the only way a man, or a family, could be sure that their land and riches were passing onto offspring of their actual flesh and blood was if the mother of these children came to her marriage bed as a virgin. This is also why, according to this book, virginity was not that big a deal to cultures that believed in communal ownership e.g. the Khoi, the San, a number of the African tribes and some of the Native American tribes. In fact in many of these cultures, to this day, a woman who has not proven her fertility by having a baby (even if it is by somebody else) would find it harder to snare a husband. This theory has 5million holes in it but does offer an interesting perspective.


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## Micara (Jun 9, 2010)

Aust99 said:


> See... great things come out of all sorts of situations.... and, you can have all the loving yet still hot sex with your man now...:kiss2::happy:



Haha! Yeah, I'd have to say that I am looking rather forward to that!


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## freakyfred (Jun 9, 2010)

This thread makes me feel like a sad pumpkin.


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## Aust99 (Jun 9, 2010)

Why? 




Minimum word limit reached NOW!!!


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## freakyfred (Jun 9, 2010)

Aust99 said:


> Why?



I fit the title description lol. 

Not that there is anything wrong with it, but I just wanna see what all the fuss is about. I've never been given the opportunity.


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## thinguyforbbw (Jun 11, 2010)

Jes said:


> i think half the active posters here at virgins, dude. or so it seems!



LOL. Well, I'm 32, and still the dreaded V, I always said I will wait till after marriage, and unfortunately, I still haven't found the one to worry. I think for me the hardest years being a V was like between 26 and 30, because at that age you're like thinking "OMG, I am getting old and I still haven't been laid", but then I think there comes a point when you just get used to it.

I also find it very amusing how people think that if one is over 20 and still a V, they must be a loser!

My advice is not to go out looking to get laid for the sake of not wanting to be a V, just take things slowly and don't fret the small stuff!


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## Hathor (Apr 2, 2011)

I'll be 29 this summer and am still a virgin. Damn proud of it too. 

Waiting for marriage or at least long term to where I love the guy and I know he loves me back just as much. 

Frankly, when I tell potential partners I'm the big V it weeds out the serious ones from the shallow men.


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## imfree (Apr 2, 2011)

I'll claim Secondary Virgin status, as I haven't had a partner in a dozen years or so.


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## Dolce (Apr 2, 2011)

Born again virgin here. I was in a LTR for 4 years and honestly if we had not had that intense sexual connection I really don't think I would have been with him that long. I've been abstinent now for 5 years and I have to say that I am much happier. I have accomplished a lot of my goals and built up the self worth I always wanted. I have waited this long so I figure I can wait some more. 

Even holding hands with a man I really like now is pretty intense. I worry sometimes that I might be thought of as being either damaged goods or not experienced enough for my age but then I realize that I can't worry about how others will judge my choice. I also love that I don't have to worry about birth control, STD's, or unwanted pregnancy. If you're going to preach it, might as well practice it - right?

I say stick to your beliefs and don't let anyone make you feel inadequate because you want real intimacy. My sister was often made fun of for being 23 and never having had a boyfriend. She was constantly encouraged to "just do it" and I saw that it undermined her sense of self. Even my mom told her not to count on finding a man who also wanted to wait until marriage. Well, she met a TOTAL STUD and they got married and have a baby now and let me say he is a super handsome manly man who just adores her and would lay his life on the line for his family.

Besides, virgins can be some of the biggest freaks out there!


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## KittyKitten (Apr 2, 2011)

_<steps into thread, peeks in and runs out>_


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## 1love_emily (Apr 3, 2011)

I AM A VIRGIN

And sexually frustrated

And sexually repressed. 

But then again, in response to my second two points, aren't most high schoolers?

Well, I don't really care. Because someday it'll change, someday, someday.... 


Hi.


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## Jon Blaze (Apr 3, 2011)

happyface83 said:


> _<steps into thread, peeks in and runs out>_








Why you gotta be a playa hater? lol

Still a virgin. Will be 24 this year.


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## J34 (Apr 3, 2011)

Lastminute.Tom said:


> when I was 13 I lied about loosing my virginity because I was scared that I was going to be the last one in my year to have sex, it's like a damn self-fulfilling prophecy
> 
> that was ten years ago, I guess at the moment I want it too bad, I keep getting nervous in steamy situations and I can't perform; I keep thinking the situation is going to end with people laughing at me because I'm a virgin or just a terrible shag, it's really hard to be on your game when your heads full of anxiety
> 
> I finally told all my mates about it, alot didn't believe me or thought I was joking, some immediately tried to find hookers but I called them off, it's nice to know how far your mates will go for you though; even my father offered to find a high class prostitute but I wouldn't go that far, I mean part of me thinks I should just to get it out the way dispel some of the nerves and move on but I guess it's been so long I want something special but at the same time I'm pretty sure I'm going to be a crap lay my first time



I had a friend who was in a similar situation. It was last year on a semester overseas in Italy. Seems that he tried "hooking up" with one of his classmates while he was there. His advances drew many question marks from people, because of the odd behavior. My friend apparently let negative voices around him get to his head. People where clamoring that he was gay, and questioning what is wrong with him. At the end he resigned on his advances, and just went to a brothel and lost his virginity to a prostitute to just get it over with.

Moral is just don't let others force you into doing something that you are not ready to do. All of my close friends are very sexually active, and sure being a guy you'll get that that jab to go ahead and "lose it", but hey its my life and when I am ready then I'll do it. Sure it is aggravating when you hear this constant talk about sexuality all around you, and it gets frustrating after so many years. I'm not waiting for marriage, but waiting for the right person.


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## CarlaSixx (Apr 3, 2011)

I claim born again virgin. Especially considering my serious lack of a sex drive, it seems I could definitely be considered one. Most of my newer friends think I am one simply because I'm in no rush to have sex with anyone.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Apr 3, 2011)

i am a virgin.i have did foreplay with women,and i have had women do foreplay on me,but not sex.it was by choice because i have had my chances.lol


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## danielson123 (Apr 4, 2011)

I definitely belong here. I used to be proud of the fact I was still a virgin by the end of my 1st year of college, but now as my 2nd year is winding down, I'm starting to feel pathetic that I can't even get a girl to stay interested for more than a few minutes at a party. Very frustrating stuff. The most experience I've had was I was told at a party last year that I was hitting it off with a girl and even got a kiss goodnight. When I woke up the next morning, I didn't know her name, phone number, or any details at all. I couldn't remember it even happening. I had blacked out. Haven't felt the need to drink at a party since and I intend to keep it that way.


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## Valarie0109 (Apr 4, 2011)

Definitely fit in here! I'll be 23 in a week and my cherry remains intact. Ihave had foreplay with one guy and he was obsessed with my chest more than anything else, but we just never had enough time to make things last. I'm in no rush to get my cherry popped, and proud it is still intact!!:happy:


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## bmann0413 (Apr 5, 2011)

Still a virgin. Still a virgin.


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## ButlerGirl09 (Apr 6, 2011)

Well I'm glad to see that at least I'm in good company in this thread! 

24 and still a virgin <high five>


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## PhatChk (Apr 6, 2011)

Reporting again -_- I have come the conclusion that with my age telling a guy I am still a virgin it scares them off. It was proven to me this year.-_-


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## rg770Ibanez (Apr 7, 2011)

Still hanging in there... :happy:

And PhatChk, I think it's good you're scaring those types away. Cause in my humble opinion those type of guys aren't good enough for you  
Unless the type of guy you're looking for is just for a one night stand, he should be ok or even pleased with you're choice.


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## Hathor (Apr 7, 2011)

PhatChk said:


> Reporting again -_- I have come the conclusion that with my age telling a guy I am still a virgin it scares them off. It was proven to me this year.-_-



Happened to me too. 

But I have one guy still interested in me, but unfortunately he isn't interested in pursuing a serious relationship. 

We'll get there, sister. Soon enough. =) And it'll be beautiful.


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## Adamantoise (Apr 7, 2011)

...I'm still here. I hate it, but at the same time I have come to accept it.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Apr 8, 2011)

Adamantoise said:


> ...I'm still here. I hate it, but at the same time I have come to accept it.



yeah being a virgin sucks,but it's not like as bad as most people thinks.sucks yes,but there are worst things you know.


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## Heyyou (Apr 8, 2011)

Id like to say that i too, for all intents and purposes, can claim citizenship in this "virgin thread." There was that one time.. but trust me, it didnt count. 

And I can also say (not proudly) that i was taken by a transsexual posing as a BBW in Atlantic City on a boardwalk in 2006... Arctic ave.. around 11pm or 12am.. Took about $80, and we didnt do anything, roughly 20 or 30 minutes.. 

. yes, im a virgin. 

And to OP: I would say do *NOT* just "go ahead and lose your virginity!" Not only does it have religious importance (not focusing on that because the umm "other" activity is the same thing, seriously,) and the one other time i had my you know what in a lady part was .. all wrong, and its one of those things i put in my past as a memory under category "I tried" and "Its better it didnt go anywhere".. though she was kind of sexy (and, an actual woman, with no pinga.)

Hope this helps!


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## Keb (Apr 14, 2011)

Well, still here, and a month past 31, to boot. 

40 yo status, here I come...


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## liz (di-va) (Apr 17, 2011)

Dolce said:


> Besides, virgins can be some of the biggest freaks out there!


*.................*


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## Angel (Apr 17, 2011)

liz (di-va) said:


> *.................*



What'd ya say?


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## NoWayOut (Apr 24, 2011)

23-year old virgin and proud of it.


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## KuroBara (Apr 24, 2011)

I'm 31 and still a virgin, but there have been opportunities. However, each guy turned out to be a jerk once the truth was revealed, and I am SO glad I listened to that little voice inside me that I thought was wimpiness, but was wisdom.


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## fatgirlflyin (Apr 24, 2011)

Heyyou said:


> Id like to say that i too, for all intents and purposes, can claim citizenship in this "virgin thread." There was that one time.. but trust me, it didnt count.
> 
> And I can also say (not proudly) that i was taken by a transsexual posing as a BBW in Atlantic City on a boardwalk in 2006... Arctic ave.. around 11pm or 12am.. Took about $80, and we didnt do anything, roughly 20 or 30 minutes..
> 
> ...



If there was one time, it counted.


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## rg770Ibanez (Apr 26, 2011)

Agreed. 
8 9 10 there you go.


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## GentleSavage (Apr 26, 2011)

I'm a virgin as well! You're definitely not alone.


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## StaySafeTonight (Apr 26, 2011)

I've learned that virginity is something that needs to be approached with the utmost patience. I lost/gave mine away when I was nearly twenty, but it was after waiting for years for someone who I knew I loved, and who wouldn't take advantage of it- as much as I hate putting virginity on a pedestal- it's an important, delicate thing... 

Don't worry about losing it! It will happen when it's supposed to happen! Just like your first rent check, loan, car, pet- it's just another part of life!


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## imfree (Apr 26, 2011)

*Only One First Time* could be the name of a really seriously deep song. When the woman I first had sex with and I broke up, I suffered heartbreak to the point of physical pain inside of me for three days. I really think it was only possible for me to bond that closely with someone just once in my life. In a way, I think I'm "damaged goods", unable to ever give myself to a partner with that depth of love again. I'd love to be wrong.


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## russianrobot (Apr 27, 2011)

does the filipino hooker in my car trunk count?


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## LovelyLiz (Apr 27, 2011)

russianrobot said:


> does the filipino hooker in my car trunk count?



No, I would doubt he is a virgin.


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## Robbie_Rob (Apr 28, 2011)

I lost my virginity when i was young (15) and that was with my first long term girlfriend. After we split i slept with another few women before i met my wife. She was also experienced with other people and i have to say it has never caused us any problems or made our sex lives any less personal or enjoyable. I know it's everyones choice and i'm never gonna say that there is something wrong with someones choice to wait til they're married but to say that it makes it MORE special when it is the two peoples first time seems ludicrous to me. It is about the two people who are there together and how they feel about each other and not about their sexual history or lack of. Sex is about that time, that place and how the people make each other feel, saying it's less special cause you both have had sex with other people before is a misguided statement.


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## russianrobot (Apr 28, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> No, I would doubt he is a virgin.



dammit he told me he was a she.....oh well its a rental


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## Surlysomething (Apr 28, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> No, I would doubt he is a virgin.


 

Ha! This made my morning.


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## Admiral_Snackbar (Apr 28, 2011)

"Virgin Tranny Hooker" would be an awesome band name.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Apr 28, 2011)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> "Virgin Tranny Hooker" would be an awesome band name.



haha why yes it would!


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## penguin (Apr 28, 2011)

StaySafeTonight said:


> I've learned that virginity is something that needs to be approached with the utmost patience. I lost/gave mine away when I was nearly twenty, but it was after waiting for years for someone who I knew I loved, and who wouldn't take advantage of it- as much as I hate putting virginity on a pedestal- it's an important, delicate thing...
> 
> Don't worry about losing it! It will happen when it's supposed to happen! Just like your first rent check, loan, car, pet- it's just another part of life!



Eh, it can be, but it's not for everyone. I don't see virginity as a gift or anything special. It's a state of not having and everyone starts out with it. I was going to wait for Mr Right, but then decided not to wait around for someone that may or may not turn up, and had a drunken night with a friend of a friend when I was 21. I don't regret it. It didn't make a big difference in my life. I'd had sex...life went on. Would it have been better with someone I was in love with? Probably. But I wanted to have sex so I did.


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## Surlysomething (Apr 28, 2011)

penguin said:


> Eh, it can be, but it's not for everyone. I don't see virginity as a gift or anything special. It's a state of not having and everyone starts out with it. I was going to wait for Mr Right, but then decided not to wait around for someone that may or may not turn up, and had a drunken night with a friend of a friend when I was 21. I don't regret it. It didn't make a big difference in my life. I'd had sex...life went on. Would it have been better with someone I was in love with? Probably. But I wanted to have sex so I did.



That's exactly how I feel. I don't ever think i've ever felt sad about losing it to someone I wasn't head over heels in love with.


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## Heyyou (Apr 28, 2011)

KuroBara said:


> I'm 31 and still a virgin, but there have been opportunities. However, each guy turned out to be a jerk once the truth was revealed, and I am SO glad I listened to that little voice inside me that I thought was wimpiness, but was wisdom.



Reverse this to other reasons i found to not "do it" towards a female partner as im a straight male and would never with a man, and you have me. Virgin here. And proud of it.


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## Jon Blaze (Jun 4, 2011)

Well my friends, it is time for me to go.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Jun 4, 2011)

Jon Blaze said:


> Well my friends, it is time for me to go.



good luck Jon,with wherever your going.XD i forgot about this thread for a second.im still a virgin,but that's ok.lol it will happen eventually when it is meant to.


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## SarahLaughsAlot (Jun 5, 2011)

I'm Proud to say i made it 21 years&#9829; and i hope whoever i decide to give it to is proud of me to&#9829;


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## Kamily (Jun 5, 2011)

SarahLaughsAlot said:


> I'm Proud to say i made it 21 years&#9829; and i hope whoever i decide to give it to is proud of me to&#9829;



I am proud of you Big Red! LOL


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## cherrysprite (Jun 5, 2011)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> "Virgin Tranny Hooker" would be an awesome band name.



I would totally buy an album by "Virgin Tranny Hooker" just because the band name is so wicked.


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## Surlysomething (Jun 5, 2011)

So, if you're not a virgin at 21 then a person should be ashamed?


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## LovelyLiz (Jun 6, 2011)

Surlysomething said:


> So, if you're not a virgin at 21 then a person should be ashamed?



It's possible for someone to be proud of something in their own life, and express that, without it necessarily meaning they think everyone has to live by those same standards. If someone feels pleased with their decision not to have sex (or to have sex) for whatever length of time, I don't think that directly implies that people who choose otherwise should feel bad about themselves.


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## HayleeRose (Jun 6, 2011)

Im 19 and a virgin.. and sexually frustrated.. This was not part of a plan, but the opportunity just hasn't came up. This thread makes me feel a little less abnormal.


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## SarahLaughsAlot (Jun 6, 2011)

Kamily said:


> I am proud of you Big Red! LOL




Lol, you know J.D is the only person who calls me THAT! lol but i guess since i love you it's okay!


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## SarahLaughsAlot (Jun 7, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> It's possible for someone to be proud of something in their own life, and express that, without it necessarily meaning they think everyone has to live by those same standards. If someone feels pleased with their decision not to have sex (or to have sex) for whatever length of time, I don't think that directly implies that people who choose otherwise should feel bad about themselves.



took the words right out of my mouth, i'm just proud of me. it's a personal goal of mine. and i'm just proud i made it that far =)


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## Surlysomething (Jun 7, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> It's possible for someone to be proud of something in their own life, and express that, without it necessarily meaning they think everyone has to live by those same standards. If someone feels pleased with their decision not to have sex (or to have sex) for whatever length of time, I don't think that directly implies that people who choose otherwise should feel bad about themselves.


 

I wanted what I said to be food for thought. Would it be taken the same way if someone said i'm proud I lost my virginity at 16?


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## SarahLaughsAlot (Jun 7, 2011)

Sure, live and let live&#9829;


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## Surlysomething (Jun 7, 2011)

SarahLaughsAlot said:


> Sure, live and let live&#9829;


 

Haha. OKAY!

:huh:


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## Morbid (Jun 7, 2011)

I would like to say that I am proud that you all have remained virigins.. with our society being sexually based and all the STD's around.. I'd be scared to have sex..

I was a virgin untill I was 18...

just wanted to toss that out there..

Much love and respect..

Morbid


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## Surlysomething (Jun 7, 2011)

And to all the non-Vrigins out there, there's nothing wrong with losing it. Just be *safe* and enjoy yourselves!


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## LovelyLiz (Jun 7, 2011)

Surlysomething said:


> And to all the non-Vrigins out there, there's nothing wrong with losing it. Just be *safe* and enjoy yourselves!



Do you really feel like the existence of this thread is somehow shaming to people who have chosen to have sex? I mean, are they going to see it and need reassurance that their choice to have sex was a legitimate one? From your responses it seems like you think that, but I can't wrap my head around why that would be the case.

Especially since being a virgin isn't exactly some greatly sought after status (at least in our broader social context), and if you're fat even moreso - it's just "confirmation" that they haven't had opportunity because of their lack of sexual desirability.

Honestly, I'm curious about your responses to this thread that seem somewhat defensive, and want to understand where you're coming from. (I guess I feel like people describing their virgin status - some by choice and some by chance - is not an act of "slut shaming".)


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## Surlysomething (Jun 7, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> Do you really feel like the existence of this thread is somehow shaming to people who have chosen to have sex? I mean, are they going to see it and need reassurance that their choice to have sex was a legitimate one? From your responses it seems like you think that, but I can't wrap my head around why that would be the case.
> 
> Especially since being a virgin isn't exactly some greatly sought after status (at least in our broader social context), and if you're fat even moreso - it's just "confirmation" that they haven't had opportunity because of their lack of sexual desirability.
> 
> Honestly, I'm curious about your responses to this thread that seem somewhat defensive, and want to understand where you're coming from. (I guess I feel like people describing their virgin status - some by choice and some by chance - is not an act of "slut shaming".)


 
I do. You don't know me, so you don't know if i'm being defensive or not, really. I just don't see what the big deal about declaring your virginity is. Really? Who cares. It should be your own *personal* business. Is there a thread declaring your non-virginity?


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## Jes (Jun 7, 2011)

Surlysomething said:


> Really? Who cares. It should be your own *personal* business. Is there a thread declaring your non-virginity?



Since there are over 100 responses in this thread, I'm guessing lots of people care, so that answers your first question. To your second question I say: are we basing threads we can, or should, start on whether there's an opposing thread someplace already? That's a unique interpretation of a message board.


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## Surlysomething (Jun 7, 2011)

Jes said:


> Since there are over 100 responses in this thread, I'm guessing lots of people care, so that answers your first question. To your second question I say: are we basing threads we can, or should, start on whether there's an opposing thread someplace already? That's a unique interpretation of a message board.


 
It was my reply to Mcbeth's questioning. So, it was my opinion on the thread. People really shouldn't care about another's virginity status, maybe I should have clarified that. 

But thanks for answering on her behalf.


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## Jes (Jun 7, 2011)

Surlysomething said:


> It was my reply to Mcbeth's questioning. So, it was my opinion on the thread. People really shouldn't care about another's virginity status, maybe I should have clarified that.
> 
> But thanks for answering on her behalf.



You're very welcome!

I suspect that this isn't about whether you, or I, or any other non-virgin cares about a virgin's status, but instead, whether the virgin cares!

Sometimes, people bond over shared traits, even if the reasons behind them are very different or the traits aren't especially significant. I don't find it wrong to want to seek out others with whom you have something in common; if I did, I guess I wouldn't be at Dims.


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## LovelyLiz (Jun 7, 2011)

Surlysomething said:


> I do. You don't know me, so you don't know if i'm being defensive or not, really. I just don't see what the big deal about declaring your virginity is. Really? Who cares. It should be your own *personal* business. Is there a thread declaring your non-virginity?



Right. I said that your responses *seemed* defensive. And they did, at least to me. You came into a thread where people talk about being virgins and said, "hey, non-virgins, you're cool too!" The impetus from that is coming from somewhere, and yeah, I don't know you, that's why I was asking.

While I agree with Jes' point that in posting a new thread it really doesn't matter whether there are threads on the other side of the equation, the reality is that here there are a lot of threads devoted to how people have sex, in what positions, with what kinds of fantasies, and all kinds of other ways people declare their non-virgin status (albeit indirectly). Everyone's sex life is their *personal* business, but people talk up one side and down the other about the very specific details of their sex lives all the time here. I don't see why someone talking about their non-sex life should be off limits. It just seems weird.


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## Surlysomething (Jun 7, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> Right. I said that your responses *seemed* defensive. And they did, at least to me. You came into a thread where people talk about being virgins and said, "hey, non-virgins, you're cool too!" The impetus from that is coming from somewhere, and yeah, I don't know you, that's why I was asking.
> 
> While I agree with Jes' point that in posting a new thread it really doesn't matter whether there are threads on the other side of the equation, the reality is that here there are a lot of threads devoted to how people have sex, in what positions, with what kinds of fantasies, and all kinds of other ways people declare their non-virgin status (albeit indirectly). Everyone's sex life is their *personal* business, but people talk up one side and down the other about the very specific details of their sex lives all the time here. I don't see why someone talking about their non-sex life should be off limits. It just seems weird.


 
I talked specifically about the PROUD aspect of it until you came along and I was compelled to justify my post. 

I don't think anyone should feel ashamed that they're not a virgin nor do I think they should be proud that they are one. That's all. 

Why you're taking this personally, I don't know. I didn't even direct anything to you. The person I replied to moved along pretty quick. You're still here. What's the deal with _that_?


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## penguin (Jun 7, 2011)

Surlysomething said:


> Is there a thread declaring your non-virginity?



The pregnancy thread kind of does that.


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## Keb (Jun 7, 2011)

Surlysomething said:


> It was my reply to Mcbeth's questioning. So, it was my opinion on the thread. People really shouldn't care about another's virginity status, maybe I should have clarified that.
> 
> But thanks for answering on her behalf.



In modern western society, being a virgin after about 17 is largely treated as some kind of failure. I often feel like I'm the only person my age who hasn't had sex yet, and it's an incredibly lonely feeling, even when I am sure that my reasons for waiting are good ones. (Sometimes I'm forced to wonder.) A thread like this gives me a chance to express some of my frustration, expel some of that loneliness, and reaffirm my faith in myself and my choices. 

I suppose the more important question is, why do you care so much?


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## CarlaSixx (Jun 7, 2011)

So long as you feel you've made the right choices along the way overall (virgin Or non-virgin) you have a right to be proud. Yeah, some virgins will shame non virgins for having sex before marriage, but some non virgins will shame virgins for NOT having sex before marriage. It goes both ways. I see no reason to be defensive and if you're not a virgin, I don't think it matters what a virgin feels about their choices because it doesn't affect YOU.


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## Surlysomething (Jun 7, 2011)

Keb said:


> In modern western society, being a virgin after about 17 is largely treated as some kind of failure. I often feel like I'm the only person my age who hasn't had sex yet, and it's an incredibly lonely feeling, even when I am sure that my reasons for waiting are good ones. (Sometimes I'm forced to wonder.) A thread like this gives me a chance to express some of my frustration, expel some of that loneliness, and reaffirm my faith in myself and my choices.
> 
> I suppose the more important question is, why do you care so much?




I made one comment. This wasn't my dogpile.

I defend myself. And that's that.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Jun 8, 2011)

Keb said:


> In modern western society, being a virgin after about 17 is largely treated as some kind of failure




i think alot of people see it like that just because your an adult version you couldn't find someone to have sex with you,and that is so not true.some people wait and don't do it by choice,not because they can't get any.


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## bmann0413 (Jun 9, 2011)

I'm still a virgin. That's not gonna change for a WHILE.


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## NoWayOut (Aug 1, 2011)

I'm still a virgin, and that's not going to change EVER.


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## deadly-spaghetti-o (Aug 1, 2011)

Still a virgin here, and _plan_ to be til marriage... or at least til I'm in a long, trusting relationship.


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## Jess87 (Aug 1, 2011)

This is just a disguised attempt to get a list of people to go to when sacrifices are needed, isn't it? I'm not that into volcanoes, so if I could remain at the bottom for a while, that would be awesome.

I am one, but I don't have any idealistic views or plans on losing it. I respect that most people my age are waiting for love or marriage. However, I'd just rather get my baggage down to manageable size before sucking someone else into this void... or off. Until I'm sure I won't suggest "working around my pants" I don't think it's fair to bring another person into my mess. Plus, I don't even think working around pants would work comfortably.


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## bmann0413 (Aug 1, 2011)

Me and my dad just had a weird conversation about my virgin-osity. He said things like me "having strong sexual urges" and that I need to act on them, since I'm at my sexual prime. I think I'm extremely weirded out. lol


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## CarlaSixx (Aug 1, 2011)

bmann0413 said:


> Me and my dad just had a weird conversation about my virgin-osity. He said things like me "having strong sexual urges" and that I need to act on them, since I'm at my sexual prime. I think I'm extremely weirded out. lol



Better than my parents/whole family saying "I know you're not a virgin, but I'm going to pretend like you are. There's gotta be at least some part of you that's still innocent."

:doh:


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## deadly-spaghetti-o (Aug 2, 2011)

bmann0413 said:


> Me and my dad just had a weird conversation about my virgin-osity. He said things like me "having strong sexual urges" and that I need to act on them, since I'm at my sexual prime. I think I'm extremely weirded out. lol



I would be too... I'm glad my mom never gave me the 'sex' talk or anything like that. I was just smart enough to figure it all out on my own I guess. Haha.


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## GentleSavage (Aug 2, 2011)

I'm a 22 year old virgin, who recently went on his first date. A lot of people don't believe me when they find out I still have my v-card. Apparently I don't act like a virgin, whatever that means.


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## mossystate (Aug 2, 2011)

GentleSavage said:


> I'm a 22 year old virgin, who recently went on his first date. A lot of people don't believe me when they find out I still have my v-card. Apparently I don't act like a virgin, whatever that means.



It must mean you don't walk like one. * nods *


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## darlingzooloo (Aug 2, 2011)

This thread makes me feel better, I'm 23 and a virgin and plan on staying so until I feel it's time not to be one anymore. Sometimes I feel totally out of place when my friends are discussing their boyfriends and such, but whatevs! if it's gonna hurt like hell the first few times I want to be with someone who cares enough to make me feel good enough to forget the pain lol. ( Of course there are other reasons I'm choosing to wait, but no need to delve that deep. XP)


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## GentleSavage (Aug 2, 2011)

mossystate said:


> It must mean you don't walk like one. * nods *



Do virgins have a particular kind of walk?


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## LeoGibson (Aug 2, 2011)

GentleSavage said:


> Do virgins have a particular kind of walk?



Well,no never mind,this one is just too easy,I'll leave that smart ass joke to someone else:doh:


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## GentleSavage (Aug 2, 2011)

LeoGibson said:


> Well,no never mind,this one is just too easy,I'll leave that smart ass joke to someone else:doh:



I was kind of leaving myself open on purpose for that one...


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## GentleSavage (Aug 2, 2011)

GentleSavage said:


> I was kind of leaving myself open on purpose for that one...



See. I did it again.


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## rg770Ibanez (Aug 3, 2011)

Jess87 said:


> This is just a disguised attempt to get a list of people to go to when sacrifices are needed, isn't it? I'm not that into volcanoes, so if I could remain at the bottom for a while, that would be awesome.



>.>
<.<
Maybe...


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## abel (Aug 21, 2011)

I was a virgin until a pretty late age, I guess 22 or so. I didn't have a proper girlfriend until I was 25.

I thought it was my looks. I have pretty bad acne scars for one thing. I'm also on the short side.

My life _really really_ sucked because of it. I felt deeply inferior and abnormal. Ironically I have always been pretty sociable, and had lots of friends. However I was never able to truly enjoy anything. Whether we're having a beach party, or going camping, or traveling around Europe, or skiing down a powdery hill, the mantra "You've never had a girlfriend" played endlessly in my mind.

Here is how the problem solved itself: A couple of successive unrelated one-night stands with girls I met at bars were a *tremendous* confidence booster. That is because in a bar situation looks DO matter, which slightly alleviated the point I was most sensitive and insecure about. More importantly, I also realized that it was just a numbers game - if you approach 20 women you might just end up in bed with one! I realized then that a lifetime of sexual frustration did not have to be my immutable destiny. I realized there was no evil magic curse on me.

After that I started getting girlfriends, eventually got married, and have been married for 15 years. Generally it is a happy marriage, although my main complaint is that my wife is not fat. This may tie into the problem described above, maybe I was so insecure about my looks I just had to go for women considered conventionally attractive. I think I would be fine with it now, but it's too late, I have enough tender feelings for my wife, and a sense of social responsibility, that I cannot just up and leave her because she's not fat.

Another thing, the idea of evil curses has not really left me. Nowadays I am extremely despondent about my lack of career success and it feels like there are magic powers keeping me down. It's the same feeling of helplessness and inability to enjoy anything all over again. It's like that virgin problem again, manifesting itself in a different way, at a different stage of life.


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## thatgirl08 (Aug 21, 2011)

People talk a lot about wanting their first time to be special, and I get that, but I also worry about people who place so much importance on it.. I've seen so many of my friends be disappointed that their first time didn't end up being the rose petals and candles and sweet lovemaking they had hoped for. I think it's important to put it in perspective.. losing your virginity can be special in its own way but it's also not the be all and end all of having sex. I've never met anyone say that their most physically or emotionally satisfying sex was their first time. It only gets better from there.


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## NoWayOut (Aug 30, 2011)

CarlaSixx said:


> Better than my parents/whole family saying "I know you're not a virgin, but I'm going to pretend like you are. There's gotta be at least some part of you that's still innocent."
> 
> :doh:



That would be awkward too. I just had my mom say that if I had sex, I had better use a condom. I didn't have the heart to tell her she'd just wasted her breath since I wasn't going to have sex.


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## Forgotten_Futures (Sep 30, 2011)

Keb said:


> In modern western society, being a virgin after about 17 is largely treated as some kind of failure. I often feel like I'm the only person my age who hasn't had sex yet, and it's an incredibly lonely feeling, even when I am sure that my reasons for waiting are good ones. (Sometimes I'm forced to wonder.) A thread like this gives me a chance to express some of my frustration, expel some of that loneliness, and reaffirm my faith in myself and my choices.
> 
> I suppose the more important question is, why do you care so much?



For the record, still a virgin, 25 and less than three months from 26. And frankly, I'm perfectly fine with it. It's a potential craving I don't want right now.



CarlaSixx said:


> Better than my parents/whole family saying "I know you're not a virgin, but I'm going to pretend like you are. There's gotta be at least some part of you that's still innocent."
> 
> :doh:



I laughed so hard I actually had a coughing fit. And... I can't rep you.


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## Saoirse (Oct 6, 2011)

I have a good friend that is 27 and still a virgin. Never had a boyfriend or been on a date. 

I lost it at 18 and havent looked back


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## joyful_laughter (Oct 6, 2011)

26. Still got the v-card, not by choice, just happened that way. Had one opportunity but the guy chickened out. Looking back, SO glad I didn't do it with him. I did not love him as much as I thought I did (first boyfriend, ya know how that can go). 
Slightly sexually frustrated but getting by...lol I do want it to be with someone I can be comfortable with (knowing how it almost happened with someone I wasn't and how even that makes me feel). So, I'm fine with waiting..it'll happen when it happens I guess. Or not at all. Hopefully not, don't know if I could live with that but maybe haha


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