# Fit men and chubby women



## KittyKitten (Jul 30, 2013)

I have noticed many fit men with hard bodies are into chubby women. It seems they put so much effort into making their bodies strong and tight, yet want their women to be soft. Do they believe in the notion that a man should be hard and a woman should be soft and feminine?


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## Morganer (Jul 30, 2013)

KittyKitten said:


> I have noticed many fit men with hard bodies are into chubby women. It seems they put so much effort into making their bodies strong and tight, yet want their women to be soft. Do they believe in the notion that a man should be hard and a woman should be soft and feminine?



It could be they view it as a test of strength; _as well as_ supreme femininity. 

Exposed lungs and anorexia don't do it or a lot of us. We like CURVE!


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## bigmac (Jul 30, 2013)

KittyKitten said:


> I have noticed many fit men with hard bodies are into chubby women. It seems they put so much effort into making their bodies strong and tight, yet want their women to be soft. * Do they believe in the notion that a man should be hard and a woman should be soft and feminine?*



That's exactly what I think. I've spent my entire adult life trying to get and/or remain as fit as my uncooperative genetics will allow. I do believe that guys should be strong and athletic. I feel much better during thinner//fitter phases.

Also, its been my experience that lots of BBWs, perhaps most, prefer fit guys. I remember going to a big event right after I got out of the Army -- I was in the best shape of my life -- I didn't even make it to the bar to buy a beer before I was approached. A few years and 40 pounds later I became invisible to women. This had a pretty negative effect on my view of many women.


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## Jon Blaze (Jul 30, 2013)

It's just about what works for me. I don't expect it to be true for everyone. I do have moments where I exercise with high intensity, but I don't do it for appearance. I like to exercise, but engaging in this community has helped me a lot with my own body image. When I am in shape, I like how my body contrasts with my partner. That's all.


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## missyj1978 (Jul 30, 2013)

Jon Blaze said:


> It's just about what works for me. I don't expect it to be true for everyone. I do have moments where I exercise with high intensity, but I don't do it for appearance. I like to exercise, but engaging in this community has helped me a lot with my own body image. When I am in shape, I like how my body contrasts with my partner. That's all.



Good answer!!


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## loopytheone (Jul 31, 2013)

I have noticed this as well, and the other way around with the FFA and BHM. I think it probably has something to do with liking contrasts and having a defined conception of feminine and masculine being different to each other. Plus there is the fact that people are attracted to what they are attracted to regardless of their own physique. 

For myself, I can find any gender of any weight attractive, pretty much. I tend to gravitate towards lighter females and heavier men though.


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## Webmaster (Jul 31, 2013)

KittyKitten said:


> I have noticed many fit men with hard bodies are into chubby women. It seems they put so much effort into making their bodies strong and tight, yet want their women to be soft. Do they believe in the notion that a man should be hard and a woman should be soft and feminine?



What you are suggesting is true for some people; I've heard it said before. For me, what I like in a woman and how I feel about myself are two totally separate things. I've always had a strong body image of who and what I wanted to be, and an equally strong one about the type of women that attract me. But the two are not related.


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## hots_towel (Aug 1, 2013)

im not saying i have a rock hard body, but i do work to maintain a figure that (i like to imagine) would be desirable to any woman. 

is it really that out there though to assume that people only like others within their own body profile?


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## DKnight00 (Aug 3, 2013)

I don't know, I go to the gym often, and workout nearly everyday. It's just what I like.... maybe what Morganer said.


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## landshark (Aug 5, 2013)

I pursue my own fitness because it is a hobby. I'm no body builder, but I'm in pretty good shape. I like being active, and I even find athletic women attractive. But when it comes to being someone else's partner, I want that person to someone to whom I feel an intimate level of attraction and I just don't feel that way toward many athletic women. I do feel that way toward overweight women.


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## missyj1978 (Aug 6, 2013)

I love a fit/toned guy :wubu: I once had someone tell me that it is a double standard. But whatever, I like what I like and who are they to judge? I do like the contrast of my soft body to a nice hard one but thats just me.


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## landshark (Aug 6, 2013)

missyj1978 said:


> I love a fit/toned guy :wubu: *I once had someone tell me that it is a double standard.* But whatever, I like what I like and who are they to judge? I do like the contrast of my soft body to a nice hard one but thats just me.



I hear this a lot as well. I have also had people question why I dated overweight women, and once overheard two girls suggest I could do better while I was out with a girl I once dated. On another forum I frequent the prevailing mindset is people should "date within their league." I outgrew that mindset a long time ago. I'm not even sure what "league" I'm in to begin with. Being married, I guess I'm not in a league at all anymore. Just because a man or a woman is chubby does not mean they don't still have preferences. I like how you said it. You can't force preference. Like what you like and pursue who you find attractive! 

Something else I noticed before I got married. I dated fit and athletic women for a while before developing my preferences for chubby girls. I noticed I got shot down as much by chubby girls as I did the kind I dated before. This notion of the "desperate fat girl" is a myth. I'm sure there are a few out there, but overall a chubby girl has just as high (or should) a sense of self worth that she need not accept the first date request she receives. Of course, I didn't like getting declined by ANY girl, but I appreciated that many of the chubby girls held themselves in such a manner they defied the stereotype. I wasn't really surprised by it either, just glad to confirm it.


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## bigmac (Aug 7, 2013)

missyj1978 said:


> I love a fit/toned guy :wubu: I once had someone tell me that it is a double standard. But whatever, I like what I like and who are they to judge? I do like the contrast of my soft body to a nice hard one but thats just me.




Everyone is certainly allowed to_ like what they like_. However, to avoid being a hypocrite you have to accept that many guys are going to pass you over because _they like what they like_. This is certainly the harsh way of the world.


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## missyj1978 (Aug 7, 2013)

bigmac said:


> Everyone is certainly allowed to_ like what they like_. However, to avoid being a hypocrite you have to accept that many guys are going to pass you over because _they like what they like_. This is certainly the harsh way of the world.



This true! And it is something that dont bother me at all. Everyone has a certian type and different taste. Dont get me wrong I have dated men of all shapes and sizes become when I comes down to it a good heart and someone who can make me laugh is what really matters. But I do find a fit guy more physically attractive, always have


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## s13 (Sep 8, 2013)

I have health kicks every few years and get quite tight, I'm 30 now so sort of a last hurrah of heavy weights and intense cardio these couple of months. I also like the contrast of muscular arms chest and abs while a big girl rides close.I like to feel I have some strength against her weight if she is quite big. Doesnt matter though if shes 400lb lol. I also just wanna impress her mainly.


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## StickMan (Sep 8, 2013)

I like _being_ fit, and I like fat (or at least chubby) women. It's as simple as that!


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## KHayes666 (Sep 10, 2013)

I'm fit and I prefer fat women because I like the way they feel. That doesn't mean I don't like thin women, my ex was no more than 160 pounds when we dated. Give me a big booty in leggings and I'm good to go


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## Blockierer (Sep 14, 2013)

KittyKitten said:


> I have noticed many fit men with hard bodies are into chubby women. It seems they put so much effort into making their bodies strong and tight, yet want their women to be soft. Do they believe in the notion that a man should be hard and a woman should be soft and feminine?


I'm a muscular guy and I love the softness of fat women. I agree, softness is feminine.


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## wrenchboy (Sep 19, 2013)

I have a lean body and I love overweight women. My wife is very big and has hinted that she would love me to gain weight. She has not accepted her size and wants to lose weight. I think that she wants me to get fat is so I would be just like her so I can understand the difficulties she faces. She also loves me lean too.


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## Miskatonic (Sep 26, 2013)

I am currently working on getting into shape (50 pounds down, 25 to go) and I've actually thought about this quite a bit. Why do I think I should lose weight and be fit, yet I am attracted to women who are fat? I don't have an easy answer for this other than it's preference. I can find a big girl to look amazing without thinking that I myself look amazing fat. Attractiveness is subjective; just because someone is big does not automatically mean they are attractive to me. Some people just look better at a smaller size and I am one of those people as far as I am concerned.

Besides, just because I'm working on getting fit myself doesn't mean I am required to find unfit people unattractive. Men of all shapes and sizes are attracted to BBWs just like men of all shapes and sizes are attracted to smaller women. It comes down to personal preference.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Sep 26, 2013)

Miskatonic said:


> I am currently working on getting into shape (50 pounds down, 25 to go) and I've actually thought about this quite a bit. Why do I think I should lose weight and be fit, yet I am attracted to women who are fat? I don't have an easy answer for this other than it's preference. I can find a big girl to look amazing without thinking that I myself look amazing fat. Attractiveness is subjective; just because someone is big does not automatically mean they are attractive to me. Some people just look better at a smaller size and I am one of those people as far as I am concerned.
> 
> Besides, just because I'm working on getting fit myself doesn't mean I am required to find unfit people unattractive. Men of all shapes and sizes are attracted to BBWs just like men of all shapes and sizes are attracted to smaller women. It comes down to personal preference.




I agree i am a bigger guy but always wanted to be muscular. I am attracted to bigger woman but find women of all shapes sizes and races attractive. I would say i do tend to find a bigger woman the most attractive however. As you say it all comes down to personal perference. Some people think if you are attracted to a bigger woman you can't like a woman who may be alot smaller. But in the end the person and who they are counts for alot too!


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## Windigo (Oct 1, 2013)

My boyfriend is very toned and muscular too; he prefers it to be that way yet he loves my bbw softness. And I love his tonedness. I suppose opposites attract, I have always dated skinny guys and they always fancied me. I have dated some bigger ''bear'' like types as well; muscled with a beer belly but they also were very masculine.

I suppose a very masculine type build attracts a very feminine type build


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## Steve373 (Oct 4, 2013)

Women have no need to be skinny as many men like fat girls even if they are very fit.

I think there is a double standard of sorts as very fit and toned 120 lb ladies are unlikelier accept an unfit guy that is 100 lbs overweight but the fit guy will take a fat chick much more easily.

It is much easier for a fat woman to get laid than a fat guy. Essentially an unattractive or fat chick can easily get some bloke to take her home by just going to a singles bar around closing time...far harder for any man.

Women can much more easily pick up a quick partner....and they never pay for anything.


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## loopytheone (Oct 4, 2013)

Steve373 said:


> Women have no need to be skinny as many men like fat girls even if they are very fit.
> 
> I think there is a double standard of sorts as very fit and toned 120 lb ladies are unlikelier accept an unfit guy that is 100 lbs overweight but the fit guy will take a fat chick much more easily.
> 
> ...



I completely disagree with this. There is an awful lot of pressure on women to be skinny from sources other than men, mainly from the media and other women. And fat women are a subject of abuse and jokes from other men and women far more than fat men are. 

Also, I know several small women that like bigger partners. Until last year I had never met a single man in real life that liked bigger women and the one I have met I actually met online in the first place. I think hanging around Dims a lot gives a false impression that there are a lot of FAs out there when there really aren't in the 'real world'. 

I have to say I don't appreciate how you are grouping fat and unattractive together like that at all. And it is easier for any woman to get laid than any man, I can go into the biological reasons as to why but I think that is boring. It has nothing to do with the size of the people in question. And being able to 'hook up' with someone at the end of a dirty night out is hardly the same thing as being attractive to another person or being in a relationship. Plus fat men hardly ever have to face the humiliation of being a 'horror story' for waking up next to drunk the way fat women do...


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## biglynch (Oct 8, 2013)

Steve373 said:


> Women have no need to be skinny as many men like fat girls even if they are very fit.
> 
> I think there is a double standard of sorts as very fit and toned 120 lb ladies are unlikelier accept an unfit guy that is 100 lbs overweight but the fit guy will take a fat chick much more easily.
> 
> ...



Im a good 150lbs over the average and i would like to distance myself from this thinking as far as possible. Grow up buddy.


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## BigCutieLaurel (Oct 8, 2013)

Steve373 said:


> Women have no need to be skinny as many men like fat girls even if they are very fit.
> 
> I think there is a double standard of sorts as very fit and toned 120 lb ladies are unlikelier accept an unfit guy that is 100 lbs overweight but the fit guy will take a fat chick much more easily.
> 
> ...



Have you never watched American sit-coms? Fat guy, skinny wife has long been an acceptable archetype. You know why? Because it is 'believable'. You also get plenty of 'average-sized' couple and VERY occasionally overweight couples. I have never ever seen Fat wife, skinny husband ever. Apparently that is not believable enough. A woman can accept and love her husband at any size but apparently, according to media a man cannot. 

And it's evident in my day to say living being a BBW married to a skinny man that society outside of media has trouble believing my marriage. He gets flirted with in front of me, we get looks. I 100% believe that BHM and slender ladies are more socially acceptable couples. I'm not saying that they have it easy, but certainly easier.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Oct 8, 2013)

Tahlia said:


> Have you never watched American sit-coms? Fat guy, skinny wife has long been an acceptable archetype. You know why? Because it is 'believable'. You also get plenty of 'average-sized' couple and VERY occasionally overweight couples. I have never ever seen Fat wife, skinny husband ever. Apparently that is not believable enough. A woman can accept and love her husband at any size but apparently, according to media a man cannot.
> 
> And it's evident in my day to say living being a BBW married to a skinny man that society outside of media has trouble believing my marriage. He gets flirted with in front of me, we get looks. I 100% believe that BHM and slender ladies are more socially acceptable couples. I'm not saying that they have it easy, but certainly easier.




Also because there are alot of bigger funny comedians lol.


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## BigCutieLaurel (Oct 8, 2013)

HeavyDuty24 said:


> Also because there are alot of bigger funny comedians lol.



Ha, funny I didn't really think about that. It's true. But I think that it still helps to portray a certain relationship as perfectly normal while there isn't any representation of the opposite. It makes me sad.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Oct 9, 2013)

Tahlia said:


> Ha, funny I didn't really think about that. It's true. But I think that it still helps to portray a certain relationship as perfectly normal while there isn't any representation of the opposite. It makes me sad.



I agree! and i know i have been studying the sit-com lingo for awhile! lol. I love sit-coms, so i know the types haha!. There is alot of funny big comedians, no offense to anyone at all, but it is true. Kevin James, Kevin Smith, Gabriel Iglesias, Ralphie May etc just to name a few. I also think alot of bigger people turned to comedy from not being able to fit in right because of being big in alot of ways too. Yes that's one of the reasons i liked Roseanne 2 big people in a relationship was good to see. It does hold some realism too. And i agree never saw skinny guy bigger wife ever, that's true. It seems to be 2 bigger people, bigger husband smaller wife, or 2 people of a similar size. Crazy question but are Australian sit-coms similar to American ones?


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## sarahreign (Dec 12, 2013)

I like my men fit  And I personally do believe that men should be fit and hard and women should be soft and plushy(weight is not an indicator of being so) Just my personal taste I suppose. But again I'm attracted to all sizes, I just prefer fit men and fat girls.


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## GregJ1 (Dec 20, 2015)

My wife was fit when we married, as time went by, she got fatter and fatter, nice round fat beer-type belly. I have remained fit. Until recently that is, seems age has a way of padding you. That, beer and the double portions she seems to be serving me. I still workout, but where there once was a 6 pack of abs, there is a soft roll of doughy fat.


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## x0emnem0x (Dec 20, 2015)

GregJ1 said:


> My wife was fit when we married, as time went by, she got fatter and fatter, nice round fat beer-type belly. I have remained fit. Until recently that is, seems age has a way of padding you. That, beer and the double portions she seems to be serving me. I still workout, but where there once was a 6 pack of abs, there is a soft roll of doughy fat.



Tehe, I can't help but to giggle at this due to the man I am with was much smaller when we first met, compared to how he is now. I've always liked bigger guys, for some reason, and I am big myself, but he is the smallest guy I have been with. He doesn't drink beer but I certainly will cook for him and we don't starve, that's for sure. We both love the same types of food as well.


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## GregJ1 (Dec 20, 2015)

Keep it up with him. I have no qualms with the softness that spills over my belt when I bend over, never did that before. Or the size 34 waist pants being a bit snug. 

And I certainly love the gut on my lady, When she sits and it spills onto her thighs, well I can think of nothing sexier




x0emnem0x said:


> Tehe, I can't help but to giggle at this due to the man I am with was much smaller when we first met, compared to how he is now. I've always liked bigger guys, for some reason, and I am big myself, but he is the smallest guy I have been with. He doesn't drink beer but I certainly will cook for him and we don't starve, that's for sure. We both love the same types of food as well.


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## landshark (Dec 30, 2015)

sarahreign said:


> I like my men fit  And I personally do believe that men should be fit and hard and women should be soft and plushy(weight is not an indicator of being so) Just my personal taste I suppose. But again I'm attracted to all sizes, I just prefer fit men and fat girls.



i can definitely appreciate this. I think everyone should pursue the body they want for themselves. For me it happens to be lean and fit. At the same time I think everyone should prefer a partner with the body type they prefer (assuming it's even a factor; for some body type may not be). For me a soft, thick partner works best. if my wife loses weight again I'll adjust again. But for now I am extremely happy with her "luxurious" body.


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## landshark (Dec 30, 2015)

BigCutieLaurel said:


> Have you never watched American sit-coms? Fat guy, skinny wife has long been an acceptable archetype. You know why? Because it is 'believable'. You also get plenty of 'average-sized' couple and VERY occasionally overweight couples. I have never ever seen Fat wife, skinny husband ever. Apparently that is not believable enough. A woman can accept and love her husband at any size but apparently, according to media a man cannot.
> 
> And it's evident in my day to say living being a BBW married to a skinny man that society outside of media has trouble believing my marriage. He gets flirted with in front of me, we get looks. I 100% believe that BHM and slender ladies are more socially acceptable couples. I'm not saying that they have it easy, but certainly easier.



I agree with this. It's not like we get stares everywhere we go, but there have been times I've had my preference for a fat wife questioned. It just doesn't compute for some that a guy legitimately wants to have a fat woman by his side. I think it amounts to people sometimes being unable to separate their own preferences from others' and recognize people don't all think alike. To some degree we all tend to normalize everything to ourselves and that's okay. Natural even. But it's important to recognize this about ourselves and be able to step back and adjust for the reality that others think differently. Someone who can do that won't even blink at the thought of a fit guy who wants a fat woman.


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## Mark02 (Dec 30, 2015)

Im fit and my GF is short and chubby. The only problems we have are in the bedroom. She's not very flexable so certain positions and angles can be difficult for her. And just when I think we got a good thing going *bam* cervix - ouch.

As far as what others think, we dont care. Recently she got a kick watching a litte skinny east euro girl try to sell me some kind of electro massage deal. Girl was like 4'11 and when i sat down for her to attach some to my back, we were the same height. Girlfriend came over and placed her breast on my shoulder when girl started getting flirty after somewhat strattling my leg in the process. Girl then backed away and instructed my girlfriend to the different spots where to place the electros. Girlfriend got a little bimbo-ish and rubbed herself on me for the rest of the sale pitch. I just sat there with a smug smile.


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## landshark (Dec 30, 2015)

Mark02 said:


> Im fit and my GF is short and chubby. The only problems we have are in the bedroom. She's not very flexable so certain positions and angles can be difficult for her. And just when I think we got a good thing going *bam* cervix - ouch.



Gosh, that's too bad. My wife is incredibly flexible, especially for a BBW. Which is good because the physical chemistry is important and let's face it: the size and shape of people affects the positions they can use during intimacy. Me being fit and her being flexible gives us a pretty wide range of options.


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## x0emnem0x (Jan 2, 2016)

happily_married said:


> Gosh, that's too bad. My wife is incredibly flexible, especially for a BBW. Which is good because the physical chemistry is important and let's face it: the size and shape of people affects the positions they can use during intimacy. Me being fit and her being flexible gives us a pretty wide range of options.



So true. I'm pretty flexible for a big girl, luckily. I like that and so does he, lol!


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## landshark (Jan 2, 2016)

x0emnem0x said:


> So true. I'm pretty flexible for a big girl, luckily. I like that and so does he, lol!



Good for you! And him! 

I don't know about you, but my wife is also pretty strong. She has some serious muscle mass on her underneath that soft "love layer." A frail man wouldn't be able to handle her. :smitten:


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## y2kboris1 (Jan 4, 2016)

Oh man this thread. I think a while back I posted something similar on Fantasy-Feeder and there was almost a fight on the forum. I've posed almost the same question there before, but it was along the lines of "Is it hypocritical, to want to be thin whilst wanting a fat partner?". It drew a LOT of response, some of it good some of it bad. Some thought I was an ass for wording it that way while others thought I was Saintly, as if to imply I should feel guilty for being an FA as if by not wanting to be fat myself I was somehow betraying the 'size acceptance" movement. In my honest estimations I've always been about size acceptance for _all _body types, however what I want for myself and what I find attractive couldn't be more diametrically opposed. Former military here, and pretty much my whole life I've been thin, always wanted to be thin, and even though I've gained a little weight during college, I am working to rectify that on a continuous basis so I am by no means chubby even. On the other hand I agree Kitty the fatter, chubbier, more voluptuous a girl is the better. In my mind it just trips the mental association with being feminine, always has, always will.


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## y2kboris1 (Jan 4, 2016)

missyj1978 said:


> I love a fit/toned guy :wubu: I once had someone tell me that it is a double standard. But whatever, I like what I like and who are they to judge? I do like the contrast of my soft body to a nice hard one but thats just me.



It's not a double standard; shame on that person. They obviously have never thought about what they actually like long enough (more than 2 minutes), to formulate an opinion that doesn't involve a conditioned stimulus from the media or TV. These types of people always agitate me the most. They assume finding someone chubby/fat is a fetish because most don't. If I had a dollar for every time my girlfriend tried to imply I should want her to be skinny... or even better my sister; who thinks the only reason people get fat to begin with is simply a lack of willpower.


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## x0emnem0x (Jan 5, 2016)

I've only ever been with one "fit" man, which is my boyfriend now. He used to be a lot skinner when we met though, he has put on a bit of weight since then hehe. I do over my chubby men and always have, always will. But when he was skinnier, I didn't mind that at all. Definitely a different experience, but my preferences have a wide (dat pun doe) range.


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## bigmac (Jan 5, 2016)

sarahreign said:


> I like my men fit  And I personally do believe that men should be fit and hard and women should be soft and plushy(weight is not an indicator of being so) Just my personal taste I suppose. But again I'm attracted to all sizes, I just prefer fit men and fat girls.



I think many women would agree with you. I've spent most of my life trying to remain sort of fit (with varying degrees of success). I always had much more success with the ladies when I was more fit. 

I'm both tall and large. Several times women have told me that I make them feel small and feminine. Guess if you're a foot taller than the other person you can make them feel small even if they're significantly heavier than you.


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## PrincessAmanda (Jan 6, 2016)

This is an amazing topic. I have a large group of loving family and friends and they accept and love me for who I am (a deliciously annoying rubenesque princess). I love the body positivity movement, I agree that the size of a human doesn't make them any more or less lovable, deserving of respect or common courtesy. 

Every time I have dated a smaller fitter man I have always gotten the public stares. Its as though the people we pass in the mall, on the sidewalk, at the other tables in the restaurant are thinking "Why is he with her?". These women and men don't know me or him but society has engrained in us to judge ourselves against everyone we see and when it doesn't add up to the way we've been taught to think then that is scary to some people. 

You like what you like. Its not hypocritical or a double standard. 

I love tall men but what I love most of all is feeling comfortable, sexy and appreciated!


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## Deannie (Jan 10, 2016)

My husband tells me that if anyone is staring it is because they can't believe that he is with such a beautiful woman. 

Such a charmer, that one.


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## Tad (Jan 11, 2016)

Deannie said:


> My husband tells me that if anyone is staring it is because they can't believe that he is with such a beautiful woman.
> 
> Such a charmer, that one.



I like him already


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