# I can't e-mail everyone I want - so I will post this



## Sandie_Zitkus (Nov 17, 2007)

I have always believed that if you are not wanted someplace - you don't go there anymore. I have come to the conclusion I am not wanted here by too many people. So - bye folks. I'm off to live my life on my terms without judgement.

There are so many people who will rejoice at this I expect a ton of *don't let the door hit you in the ass" posts. I am sad that a place I love has become so unpleasant for me - but these things happen in life. I've been posting here a long time - it's probably time I moved on.

Thank you Conrad - for everything. 

This post is surprisingly emotional for me.  

I will miss this place and the people I love. But I won't be back. There is no victim here - only a woman who loves herself enough to know when it's time to move on.

If anyone wants to stay in touch - please PM me. 

Be kinder to each other - we're all in this together you know.


----------



## Shosh (Nov 17, 2007)

Sandie,
I wish you a lot of happiness in your life. You are stuck with me on My Space though.
Shosh


----------



## Emma (Nov 17, 2007)

I also expect a few "don't let your ass hit you on the way out" posts. 

I think it's disgusting the way you've been allowed to be treated. I know a lot of the time you give as good as you get but it always seems like it's many against you. Like everyone jumps on you at once which must make you very defensive. I know, it's happened to me many times before. 

So well done everyone that did it. You've made someone feel so unwelcome in a place that is supposed to accept and help everyone. Does it make you feel good? You can all go and pat yourselves on your backs now! 

Oh wait.. You're no better than the people who made a lot of our lives hell when we were fat and younger! Go you.


----------



## k1009 (Nov 17, 2007)

Is it wrong that I was looking for this post? I dunno know your history but you seem highly strung, and an interesting person. Sometimes your posts wtf me but overall I like reading them so I'll be sad to see you go.

In before the epic.


----------



## Lamia (Nov 17, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I have always believed that if you are not wanted someplace - you don't go there anymore. I have come to the conclusion I am not wanted here by too many people. So - bye folks. I'm off to live my life on my terms without judgement.
> 
> There are so many people who will rejoice at this I expect a ton of *don't let the door hit you in the ass" posts. I am sad that a place I love has become so unpleasant for me - but these things happen in life. I've been posting here a long time - it's probably time I moved on.
> 
> ...



I don't know you as I haven't been looking at these boards very long, but why let people drive you away? You have just as much right to be here and voice your opinions as anyone else. Screw what other people think of you. Don't leave.


----------



## Ernest Nagel (Nov 17, 2007)

Gosh, Sandie, we noobs seem to think well enough of you! Perhaps it's as my first ex was fond of saying "He's a lot like garlic; a little bit of him goes a long way."? (I always thought of myself as more like an ice cream headache, LOL.)

As something of an ante-con myself (figure it out) I find I'm inclined to cut and run after nearly every post here. For me it isn't so much that this isn't a welcoming and accepting space as that it is a preternaturally and seductively demanding one. I am all too often rudely reintroduced to my own unsullied expectations of myself by the honesty, dignity or courage of others here. I'd miss hating it and hate missing it, so I stay.

If your mind is made up I don't suppose any of this will dissuade you, but if you've any lingering doubts or might one day feel called to return I hope these grizzled nuggets may offer you some guidance. Burke is a long time hero of mine I suspect you would be combative friends with, if you were contemporaries?

"Better be despised for too anxious apprehensions, than ruined by too confident security.

He who wrestles with us strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper.

Hypocrisy can afford to be magnificent in its promises; for never intending to go beyond promises; it costs nothing.

Never despair; but if you do, work on in despair.

No one could make a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little.

Our patience will achieve more than our force." 

Edmund Burke

Vaya con Dios. :bow:


----------



## Wayne_Zitkus (Nov 17, 2007)

I will also not be posting here any longer. I cannot continue to participate in a forum where so many small-minded people have made the woman I love feel so unwelcome.

I've met some great people through Dimensions, and you all know who you are. I've also met some very petty, self-centered, egotistical, immature jerks - and they also know who THEY are.

It's rather sad that there are grown adults on this board who have not matured past the clique mentality of junior high school. It's like they've decided to take all the pain and suffering that was piled on them when they were younger (for either being the fat kid or someone who liked the fat kid) and pile it on someone else. And anyone who has to tear someone else down in order to build themselves up must have very little - if anything - going on in their lives.

I would also like to thank Conrad for all he's done trying to build an active and thriving Size Acceptance community. It's too bad that some members of this community are not that accepting of others. And if they're allowed to continue acting in this way, they can tear this community apart. It's up to the rest of you to speak up when you see a group of people start to dogpile on someone else.

Good luck to those of you that may be the next victims of the "cool kids". And you KNOW that now Sandie and I are gone, they will be turning on someone else.

I can stlll be reached through PM, but you will not see me posting any more on the boards. Sandie and I will be moving on to the next phase of our lives together. (BTW, that includes our 15th wedding anniversary, which comes up in February. I know that one of the problems that some people around here have with us is that we love each other, snd support each other. How sad that a married couple doing what married couples are supposed to do can make so many enemies.....)


----------



## moore2me (Nov 17, 2007)

What in the hell's going on? I don't understand?????? Baby duck moment here.
Don't need to lose more friends. Sandy & Wayne - friends - good. Lose Sandy & Wayne - bad - sad. See, I'm regressing already. 

Please PM me if someone can make sense of this.


----------



## ThatFatGirl (Nov 17, 2007)

This just gets so old. I wish when people left the forums they'd just leave sans the "Goodbye cruel world" message. We all know you don't really go away, that you monitor responses to see who begs you to stay and who says "see ya!" and that you'll most likely return, either to continue the bitch session you started or you'll resurface after a break saying you're ready to give Dims another try.

We've seen it before and we'll see it again and again and again.


----------



## Isa (Nov 17, 2007)

There has been a negative undercurrent on the forum since it came back online after the big crash. It's ugly, unnecessary and I'm surprised it hasn't caused more people to leave.


----------



## Jes (Nov 17, 2007)

i always wonder, when someone, anywhere, posts a YAGE message, if we should start a pool.


----------



## Red (Nov 17, 2007)

ThatFatGirl said:


> This just gets so old. I wish when people left the forums they'd just leave sans the "Goodbye cruel world" message. We all know you don't really go away, that you monitor responses to see who begs you to stay and who says "see ya!" and that you'll most likely return, either to continue the bitch session you started or you'll resurface after a break saying you're ready to give Dims another try.
> 
> We've seen it before and we'll see it again and again and again.[/QUOTE
> 
> ...


----------



## moore2me (Nov 17, 2007)

Jes said:


> i always wonder, when someone, anywhere, posts a YAGE message, if we should start a pool.



What does YAGE mean? :doh:


----------



## stan_der_man (Nov 17, 2007)

Sandie,
You speak your mind, you can be abrasive at times but you are also honest, kind and real. Same goes for you Wayne. For what it's worth, that's what I like about you guys. For every person you rub wrong, I think there is another person that appreciates what you post. Your supporters may not be as vocal as your detractors but they are out there; I honestly think so. Thats' just the nature of being an outspoken and honest person. If you retreate from being who you are, or retreat from these forums you are giving your detractors a victory they don't deserve and abandoning those who appreciate you.

Take a break from the boards, and let things cool down. Nothing has to be permanent if you don't want it to be, I think you'll be welcomed back when, or if you so decide, certainly by me.

Stan


----------



## Obesus (Nov 17, 2007)

I do understand your emotions right now...on and off for years, through NAAFA and Dims, I have had many uphill struggles to understand why I hung on when it seemed that I was in a hostile environment. I think as time wore on, I made a conscious decision to work on my serious matters outside of these contexts and to just keep a minimal presence here...mostly for offering a bit of experience if it came in handy to someone else or for an amusing exchange. Throwing oneself wholeheartedly into an emotionally charged venue like this is not always easy and particularly if you are honest and outspoken. Those are very good values and they will serve you well in life. I understand also that in a sense, we can all "grow" out of exlusivity with Dims and move out into the real world to great advantage. The server crunch demonstrated how "hooked" we can get on this little world here. I think you are also seeing that aspect and that is a healthy thing. I do wish you and Wayne the best in life and if you ever do decide to come back, I will certainly welcome you! :bow:


----------



## DeniseW (Nov 17, 2007)

This blows!!! I love reading your posts and I love your view on things as I love to read other's too. There should be room here for everyone with all different ways of looking at things. It shouldn't have to come to this. Why should you leave, you love it here??? So not everyone agrees with you, that's what makes life interesting, when every thing is nicey nicey, it gets so damn boring!! DON"T GO!!!!


----------



## Jes (Nov 17, 2007)

I'll just repeat that there's a contingency plan worked right into the software: the ignore command. 

it is super awesome, with emphasis on the super and the awesome.

that said, it's just the internet and i happen to think it's better, not worse, when people choose to walk away from it if they decide that's what they want. It's not like anyone is giving up a kidney--he/she is just saying: i have a life to live, things to do, a door to walk through, etc., and this doesn't suit my needs anymore. Congratulations!


----------



## Theatrmuse/Kara (Nov 17, 2007)

Sandie and Wayne............yikes! 

Don't go...........better to ignore those that are baiting you than give them POWER to urge you to stop posting!

My 2 cents and hugs, Kara


----------



## ripley (Nov 17, 2007)

There is oftentimes a really nasty undercurrent at Dims. Sometimes I've been a part of that and I'm sorry for those times. (Well, _almost_ all of those times. ) Sometimes I've been the recipient of that undercurrent and I'm REALLY sorry for those times! 

Anyway...I guess what I want to say is that it takes a lot of dignity to say "Enough is enough." I'm sorry that you both feel driven to this point, but I'm glad that it came at a time in your lives when you are happy and content and perhaps won't feel the loss of your home here so acutely.

I wish you both the best.


----------



## ThatFatGirl (Nov 17, 2007)

ripley said:


> Anyway...I guess what I want to say is that it takes a lot of dignity to say "Enough is enough." I'm sorry that you both feel driven to this point, but I'm glad that it came at a time in your lives when you are happy and content and perhaps won't feel the loss of your home here so acutely.
> 
> I wish you both the best.



I agree with that, but a good degree of the dignity is lost in the drama of the goodbye post that whines of cliques and victimization... but hey contact us via PMs cuz while we're going away we're not really going away, right? Right. 

Sorry but we seem to go through this every year.


----------



## Blackjack (Nov 17, 2007)

ThatFatGirl said:


> I ...whines of cliques and victimization...



Did you really expect any less? That's what Sandie's proven herself an expert at, is whining about precisely those things.


----------



## Punkin1024 (Nov 17, 2007)

Hello you two! I hope you read this. Just wanted to agree with Obesus and Fa_Man_Stan. I do understand your reasons and I thank you for letting us know your intentions instead of just "disappearing" without a word. You know I'll always welcome you back and I'll miss you both on the boards.

Hugs,
Punkin


----------



## Aurora (Nov 17, 2007)

I'm so confused. Maybe I don't pay enough attention, but... I mean, we're all people here. No one is perfect. It's easy to say things on a message board that would be super hard to ever utter in real life and it's extremely difficult to get the feeling behind the words.

I know I can't convince you two to stay, but I think it's how a community pulls through struggles that brings it closer together as a whole.


----------



## GenericGeek (Nov 17, 2007)

(Or is that "Zitki"?)

Anyway, I've enjoyed your posts, and will miss the both of you a lot. 

I have relatives in Austin, TX -- I'm not sure where you're located, but perhaps someday we might even meet face-to-face.

All the best,
GG


----------



## mottiemushroom (Nov 17, 2007)

It's always sad to see people leave, but i wish you both the best for a happy future.


----------



## moore2me (Nov 17, 2007)

Realizing we are all adults here, when I see members that I have come to know, respect, and become fond of have angst over the content of these Forums, it puzzles and saddens me. This morning Sandie Zitkus announced she was leaving DIMS because some people were harassasing her in threads and otherwise carrying on a persecution campaign. Wayne Zitkus, in a show of solidarity, followed suite with his wife. Those of you who say these two are just grandstanding and seeking attention like many have done before in the I Am Leaving Threads, or joking like others have done (Santaclear), NO . I dont think this is a joke or an attention seeking ploy. Just look at the reputation Sandi Z. and Wayne have. Look at how long they have been members. They are valuable members of this community. They are serious about their grievances.

Today I counted the number of open channels available in each Forum. 
*I counted only threads that had been created or used during the month of November 2007.* Here are the results:


Main Board = 67

Lounge =183

Hyde Park =69

Weight Gain= 43

BMA/FFA= 51

WLS = 4

Health = 19

Foodee = 65

Clothing= 40
 *Total = 576*

Thanks to Conrad we had unlimited ability to open & write on subjects that we felt was important to us. We used 576 threads during November (which is not over yet) to make many thousands of posts. If Sandie Z., Conrad, myself, a new member or anyone else in this community who wants to has the right to create a thread & post comments. I think that with 576 threads open this month, there is plenty to go around without stepping on each others toes creatively or mentally. *If you think Sandy Z. posts too much about health issues you obviously have not read my posts about WWI and the Nazis, about the Chinese & mining disasters, or about safety in general. Most of us here have our own little musical instruments we play  thats what makes the symphony work.* 

The second problem is what to do when someone does something in a thread you dont like? I am the first person to tell someone my feelings, having spent too much time the shy wallflower. But, after telling someone a couple of time clearly what your feelings are and you dont get results  stop. Let it go. Move on. If you think you have been offended, *do what Gandhi said The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.* Forgive, forget, and just go to another thread  theres plenty to go around  heck, start your own.

*And although, it is tempting, try not to criticize people in public (in a thread)  even by insinuation. If feel you must criticize someone, do it in a private message.* I for one have developed a thick hide over the years due to multiple and repeated assaults in the real world. That and thanks to a robust, daily dose of Zoloft (anti-depressant) and being surgically removed of estrogen, I find myself a wonder of mild manner in my older years. But, there are other members of this board who can take very little poking and prodding. There are people who pour their hearts out because their dates treated them poorly, or their father said they were fat, or someone called them a name on the street. Guys  we get enough of this crap in the real world  rein it in here. Joke & kid, yes - but watch out for peeps that cant handle snarky remarks. 

So lets review. Plenty of room in the DIMs Threads. Find ones where you are comfortable or make your own. Praise DIMS members in public. Criticize DIMS members in private (PM). Forgiveness is an attribute of strong people. Everyone has their own agenda  respect theirs & youll receive respect for yours. This is just a virtual world. Cant we just get along?


----------



## Violet_Beauregard (Nov 17, 2007)

I have to agree wholeheartedly with what moore2me said. Sometimes it absolutely amazes me the extent to which people go to be rude to others around here. Perhaps they think it's okay to behave this way, but I wasn't raised that way. People need to realized that the cutting remarks are rude and hurtful, and receiving the same would not be pleasant. The Jr. High School behavior is completely ridiculous. We have come together here on these boards because we share a common interest. We should be adult enough to treat each other with respect and remember that everyone is entitled to their opinion, and should be permitted to express it, without being persecuted. BUT, when expressing your opinion, remember that hurting others should not be part of the agenda. As quirky and as "old fashioned" as it may sound, the "golden rule" should still apply. Treat others as you want to be treated: with dignity, kindness and above all, respect.

Everyone can contribute to these boards, including Sandie and Wayne. I for one hope that they change their minds and remain a part of our community.

I think we all need to have a bit more compassion for our community members.

~Vi


----------



## Surlysomething (Nov 17, 2007)

*You reap what you sow.*

The fact that there is no personal blame taken is totally mind-blowing to me. This is someone who on an on-going basis started her own wars because she didn't agree with the opinions of others. I think what happened-- personally--some people stood up to that passive-agressive bullshit horse and pony show. Sure, things got out of hand in some threads, but it wasn't one-sided. I was accused of being mean because I expressed my own opinion. I was harrased in PM by this person. I commented on a thread and was cut down there too. So yeah, take some blame Sandie. You're not an angel. I give pretty good myself, but only if i'm provoked and your behaviour was ridiculous. I even apologized to you for the misunderstanding and argument we had, but did I hear back from you, noooo. I did it mainly to keep peace, to be the bigger person. To let you win. But you kept running your mouth and I stopped feeling any empathy for you.

It's too bad you couldn't see the error of YOUR ways and adjust your behaviour. If we weren't with you we were against you. That's so boring and old. You set yourself up, girl. This place isn't the Sandie & Wayne Variety Hour. 

Whatever. The door's always open for people to leave and come back. Maybe you guys will, maybe you won't. 

Good luck anyway.


----------



## tnekkralc1956 (Nov 17, 2007)

...after the filth that you and your loving husband dished out towards me in postings that were ultimately deleted because of their viciousness and audacity, I find your taking offense for being 'attacked' ridiculously hypocritical. As openly and unapologetically hostile as you were back then, I wasn't about to run away offended or otherwise. I merely considered the sources. 

Like the boy who cried wolf once too often, I'm not buying any of this hollering because I also recall that you left for good shortly after your petty tirades back then, too.

I'll personally consider it a milestone of maturity when you both can finally keep your word to get on with your lives without licking your wounds in everyone's faces as you make your pious grand exits, but given your track records I hesitate to say goodbye. Aloha seems more fitting.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Nov 17, 2007)

Surlysomething said:


> *You reap what you sow.*
> 
> The fact that there is no personal blame taken is totally mind-blowing to me. This is someone who on an on-going basis started her own wars because she didn't agree with the opinions of others. I think what happened-- personally--some people stood up to that passive-agressive bullshit horse and pony show. Sure, things got out of hand in some threads, but it wasn't one-sided. I was accused of being mean because I expressed my own opinion. I was harrased in PM by this person. I commented on a thread and was cut down there too. So yeah, take some blame Sandie. You're not an angel. I give pretty good myself, but only if i'm provoked and your behaviour was ridiculous. I even apologized to you for the misunderstanding and argument we had, but did I hear back from you, noooo. I did it mainly to keep peace, to be the bigger person. To let you win. But you kept running your mouth and I stopped feeling any empathy for you.
> 
> ...



Damn. I gotta spread the love around some more before giving it to you again, Surly. You expressed my feelings as well.

I have watched this drama between Wayne, Sandie, and members of this & various other boards for YEARS. They have stormed away from these other places too, for much the same reasons as given here (facing different players, yet same storybook ending .... hmmm). Eventually, one would think that they'd start examining their own behaviors. 

I'm not claiming innocence. The difference between me & Sandie is that I won't pretend to be the hapless victim. 

Wayne & Sandie, I'm assuming that you'll be back. You usually are. If not though, good luck in whatever other place you end up hanging your hat. If six months from now, you're suddenly & angrily announcing your departure from THAT new place too ... maybe then ... you'll start wondering about what you're doing to contribute to the melee.


----------



## Violet_Beauregard (Nov 17, 2007)

I want to qualify myself a bit.... I'm not defending Sandie and Wayne and I'm not against Sandie and Wayne. My post was in reference to the community in general. I'd like to see everyone be a bit more courteous to each other, that's all. I'm trying to remain neutral here. 



~ Vi




Violet_Beauregard said:


> I have to agree wholeheartedly with what moore2me said. Sometimes it absolutely amazes me the extent to which people go to be rude to others around here. Perhaps they think it's okay to behave this way, but I wasn't raised that way. People need to realized that the cutting remarks are rude and hurtful, and receiving the same would not be pleasant. The Jr. High School behavior is completely ridiculous. We have come together here on these boards because we share a common interest. We should be adult enough to treat each other with respect and remember that everyone is entitled to their opinion, and should be permitted to express it, without being persecuted. BUT, when expressing your opinion, remember that hurting others should not be part of the agenda. As quirky and as "old fashioned" as it may sound, the "golden rule" should still apply. Treat others as you want to be treated: with dignity, kindness and above all, respect.
> 
> Everyone can contribute to these boards, including Sandie and Wayne. I for one hope that they change their minds and remain a part of our community.
> 
> ...


----------



## Jes (Nov 17, 2007)

Aurora said:


> I'm so confused. Maybe I don't pay enough attention, but... I mean, we're all people here. .



uh, i'm gonna have to disagree with you, here. I believe at least one of us is a meerkat.


----------



## Buffie (Nov 18, 2007)

Jes said:


> awesome, with emphasis on the super and the awesome.



 

That's how I'd describe YOU.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Nov 18, 2007)

As I have said in a previous discussion that I hope didn't precede the exodus, Sandie contributes much to these threads. moore2me's tally is proof of that. I also realize that the law of averages stipulates that people will post things of immense interest that generate pages of responses. Others, myself included, post something out of personal tastes or maliciousness and get rightly and heavily pwned for it.

The issue is not why you post but what you do with it. If you have issues about getting negative feedback and criticism for posting on a board, especially run and promoted by the BHM/BBW community (whereas on other forums, your weight may become an easy target for ridicule), I can guarantee you will never be completely welcomed elsewhere if you cannot grow a thicker skin. The Internet is a huge playground, and as we all know, kids on a playground can be some of the most cliquey, sadistic little fuckers on the planet. It's like a cybernetic Lord of the Flies, and we're all playing the part of Piggy. 

Tina, Conrad and the other mods are fair. If posters start getting belligerent, they get banned or reprimanded appropriately. With some of the larger news aggregation sites, the groups get so large and out of hand it becomes an anarchist's circus, and everything devolves into madness. Be thankful most of us do take a higher road and call the bluff of ignorance of anger when it starts festering.

Some people wish the Zitki happy trails, never be seen again. I am not one of them. One popular forum rule is that sometimes the most prolific or irritating posters are ironically one of the reasons a forum has momentum. Your mileage may vary. To be bluntly honest, a number of the posts are frankly TMI and of a personal nature that I and many others don't care to know about. This is not a global accusation of hate, simply a matter of constructive criticism that may not be sinking in (and often based on responses, is properly noted and ignored...so be it). Many of the posts stir a lot of good discussion on here, which is what this place is all about. It's the overall 'save the drama for your mama' attitude that gets a little old, especially what are obviously repeated rides on the waahmbulance which do a lot to deafen sympathetic ears. This is not Myspace XXXL; most of us are mature people (aside from the occasional Toys-R-Us kids like myself ) and can hold our own in a good debate, with the occasional new fish put in for good measure. If Sandie feels that she's received a lot of abuse here, I could show her some online arguments running on for days and pages of hateful bile that would curl her hair. 

I think there are some lessons to be learned about managing one's life and thoughts in a forum of not-necessarily like-minded people, but that's my own opinion. Some would say the pics I post of my kids are in some cases adangerous thing to do on a board of any scope, so we may all have our own levels of TMI to deal with. Some of us go on for hundreds of pages of painfully pedantic paragraphs with no end in sight, and it takes something monumental to stop the madness. I for one feel++++#@NO CARRIER_#+++++


----------



## fatgirlflyin (Nov 18, 2007)

moore2me said:


> Realizing we are all adults here, when I see members that I have come to know, respect, and become fond of have angst over the content of these Forums, it puzzles and saddens me. This morning Sandie Zitkus announced she was leaving DIMS because some people were harassasing her in threads and otherwise carrying on a persecution campaign. Wayne Zitkus, in a show of solidarity, followed suite with his wife. Those of you who say these two are just grandstanding and seeking attention like many have done before in the I Am Leaving Threads, or joking like others have done (Santaclear), NO . I dont think this is a joke or an attention seeking ploy. Just look at the reputation Sandi Z. and Wayne have. Look at how long they have been members. They are valuable members of this community. They are serious about their grievances.
> 
> Today I counted the number of open channels available in each Forum.
> *I counted only threads that had been created or used during the month of November 2007.* Here are the results:
> ...



Did you happen to count how many "I am taking my toys and going home" threads there were? Or how about the "Here's Johhny!" threads when people come back to stir shit up after they've said they were leaving but don't really leave?


----------



## moore2me (Nov 18, 2007)

Jes said:


> uh, i'm gonna have to disagree with you, here. I believe at least one of us is a meerkat.



I resemble that remark.



Ella Bella said:


> Did you happen to count how many "I am taking my toys and going home" threads there were? Or how about the "Here's Johhny!" threads when people come back to stir shit up after they've said they were leaving but don't really leave?



No - Hubby made me stop computing and fix him something to eat.


----------



## Ernest Nagel (Nov 18, 2007)

Um, wow, M2M, Admiral, as per usual wishing I could go to the rep bank and take out BEEG loans for you both! Deborah, I think I will make the Gandhi forgiveness quote my new footer, just to remind myself.  Thanks!

As some of you know I am a (mostly) corporate consultant. I feel blessed that I am respected and in high demand, not so much for the ego stroke & $$$ as that it compels me to a certain pragmatic efficiency; I seldom have ANY time to waste. Way before I ever came here I learned something that I then found very well summarized by a Dimmer "The secrets of the universe are revealed when you break things."

When I go to a new client some of the first things I look at are their recent meltdowns, implosions, high-energy collisions. Always edifying! Not so much the events themselves but the carnage, fallout, stinkum, residue and lessons that linger tell me a lot about where I'm at and what can be done. Most importantly they give me a shadow registration of the capacity for diversity in an organization (loads more to say about this but refer to the brilliant "The Wisdom of Crowds" by James Surowiecki if you're interested). 

One of the things I so enjoy about these boards is that they are so deliciously non-homogenized. And, of course, just like raw milk, they can go south rather quickly and distastefully. When that happens I just assume that my immune system and gag reflexes have received an unexpected boost and move quietly and gratefully on.

Ella, I'm just as annoyed as anyone at the shrill and seemingly almost contiguous staccato of the "waahmbulance" (thanks, Admiral, def keeping that one!) but if we have to label something I'd rather refer to these posts as "Phoenix" threads, because hopefully something new and better could potentially rise from their ashes.

I sent Sandie a little Thanky Basket of Edmund Burke quotes as a going away post earlier. If I'm honest this one though "He who wrestles with us strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper." was more for those who are not yet ready to take their balls <PI> and go home.

If I were being my less tactful true self this jewel from "Management Secrets of Attila the Hun" comes closer to speaking what I know is true of of most of us (well, everybody but Jes! ) at least once in awhile. "Every Hun serves a purpose, even if only as a bad example." I horde that's even true here? :doh:


----------



## Friday (Nov 18, 2007)

Been here, done this, didn't want the T shirt. Have come to expect it every time people get fed up enough to tell Sandie to STFU. I fully expect to see it again...and again...and again..............<yawn>.


----------



## butch (Nov 18, 2007)

Seriously, though, why are so many of us posting on this thread if we say we're all tired of the drama, we want a 'safe space' or we want folks to have 'thicker skins'? Why am I breaking my mostly hard and fast rule to not get involved in the drama and post to this thread? Partly because I'm in a bad mood, and partly because I'd like to see if anyone will explain to me why we as humans enjoy creating so much useless drama for ourselves, especially when there's so much real drama in the world for us to turn our attention to?

I don't mean pat, dismissive answers about 'human nature' or 'the internet engenders this sort of behavior,' but honest answers-for those of you who have posted to this thread-what are you getting out of it? This isn't a question that is directed at any one person, but to all of us who felt compelled to read this thread, post to this thread, or otherwise derived some sort of pleasure/interest from the drama in the thread.

I don't know how to answer this question myself. I can speculate about specific sociological/anthropological reasons for this behavior, but when it boils down to it, I think I get a perverse glee in knowing that I'm not the only one who can be driven to extremes by the actions of others, and that I use the explosions of drama here on the boards as an outlet for my own anger, hurt, and frustration with human interactions here and in real life. And, I don't know if this is something that I should try to change or not. I prefer not to have drama in my own life, but then again, I'm also afraid to express my anger about a lot of things.

This isn't meant to criticize anyone's motives in this thread, it's just curiosity, pure and simple, with a dash of narcissism and opinion. I guess my pointed final question would be, if we truly believed what many of us say about not wanting drama to erupt on the boards, then none of us would post to those threads and ensure their continuance. 

And, honestly, I wish ya'll well, on whatever journey you take to or from Dims. Just like real life, Dims isn't always going to be a happy place, but I find that the good outweighs the bad here.


----------



## Jes (Nov 18, 2007)

butch said:


> Seriously, though, why are so many of us posting on this thread if we say we're all tired of the drama, we want a 'safe space' or we want folks to have 'thicker skins'? Why am I breaking my mostly hard and fast rule to not get involved in the drama and post to this thread? Partly because I'm in a bad mood, and partly because I'd like to see if anyone will explain to me why we as humans enjoy creating so much useless drama for ourselves, especially when there's so much real drama in the world for us to turn our attention to?
> 
> .



uh, because we're finally getting our chance to voice our frustration at someone and something that has pissed a lot of us off for a good long time. Without the fear that 'someone' might respond by posting a vague mention of a horrible PM we sent to that 'someone' when, in fact, it was a response to a PM sent to us, it wasn't horrible, and if nothing else, it should certainly not be mentioned in a public forum (hi: the P in PM stands for private). Who knew that was happening so often here? Not me, 'til I read the pearls in this thread.

People dance in the public square when statues are pulled down, too.

Finally, we all want in on the pool that's going for when 'forever!' turns into 'about 2 days' which is the longest a lot of people can stay away from this, or any other, webboard. Vegas odds are 2:1 that it won't be much longer!! We want to be able to say: I told you so. I'm not gonna lie about that!


ps: you're like the female ernest nagel! or maybe he's the male version of you!!


----------



## bigsexy920 (Nov 18, 2007)

Advil Please !!! Anyone????


----------



## Leesa (Nov 18, 2007)

I'll miss them dearly.


----------



## Aurora (Nov 18, 2007)

Jes said:


> People dance in the public square when statues are pulled down, too.



It wouldn't let me post this with just the attachment so here's my 10+ characters. 

View attachment lovestodance.gif


----------



## Chimpi (Nov 18, 2007)

butch said:


> I don't mean pat, dismissive answers about 'human nature' or 'the internet engenders this sort of behavior,' but honest answers-for those of you who have posted to this thread-what are you getting out of it? This isn't a question that is directed at any one person, but to all of us who felt compelled to read this thread, post to this thread, or otherwise derived some sort of pleasure/interest from the drama in the thread.



I never had an ounce of interest in posting to this thread; until now. I have been following this thread since the original post was created. I read that post when there were zero (0) replies to the thread. I _was_ going to post "We've heard that one before", but did not really have the momentum to do so. (I suppose that contradicts the "I never had an ounce of interest in posting to this thread)
However, to answer your question, I believe there is a simple answer. This is a discussion forum. This thread is in The Lounge (where all "other" threads are welcome). Every single member of this forum - at the moment, all 21,134 members - has the right to post not only in this thread, but every other thread in the forum. It is our right as Online Forum Members (freedom of post). One of the things that comes from posting in any thread is that discussion, debate, and yes some times arguments come out of those posts. Same goes for real life. We all have opinions, we should all be allowed to share those opinions.
*Shrugs* I don't really have a conclusive point, but I think what everyone gets out of this thread is different. Some may get a sense of closure. Some may get humor. Some might even get indifference (at this point, that would be me). For others, it might just be the opportunity to say "Same old song and dance"; whether that is just a fact, or a chance to prove something and be the winner.


----------



## bluewine (Nov 18, 2007)

After reading Sandies good bye letter, I sort of know why I never got to involved or submitted any comments here. I was kicked out of the chat room for no reason other than my age(54). I will continue to read others comments and stay in the background.


----------



## SuperMishe (Nov 18, 2007)

I find this all quite hysterical. I'm not "tired of the drama" because I've learned how to stay out of it. I read the posts and replies that people place here on DIMS. When I agree, I might rep the writer. When I disagree, I simply move along. It's just not that important to me to stir the pot. Life's too short.

What amuses me the most? 
First the post to announce the grand departure. I've seen it on other boards and forums and it's just hilariousl This is the internet - a virtual world. You don't need to "leave" or resign. There are no membership fees here, no subscription costs ... you just stop posting - simple as that.

Secondly, the responses that address the person that has left. The announcement has been made. He/she is gone... never coming back... yet people reply to that person via that post... LOL... If he or she is gone forever - never to return, why is anyone writing to him or her _here_? 

But I'm not stupid... I do realize that the dearly departed is most likely reading each and every post after theirs. Scouring every paragraph for "proof" that validates the "resignation". LOL -I t's kinda like getting to watch who comes to your funeral, no?

Lastly, I find it amusing in an entertainment sense! This morning, when I saw new posts added to the thread, I went and got my breakfast and "settled in" to read. I wanted to "ding" the bell and announce "Let the battle begin"! It's almost as good as reality tv!

So THAT's why I followed this thread. I have some major stress going on in my life right now and this is certainly a great release. LOL!


----------



## Jes (Nov 18, 2007)

SuperMishe said:


> Secondly, the responses that address the person that has left. The announcement has been made. He/she is gone... never coming back... yet people reply to that person via that post... LOL... If he or she is gone forever - never to return, why is anyone writing to him or her _here_?
> 
> !



yes, but...no. Like you said, the thread was monitored for at least a full 8 hours after it was posted, with great frequency (every 30 min or so, from what I could tell). 

Why do I post? Because I can't help it. Perhaps I should be able to control myself but...nope! I don't want to!

ps: bluewine. I gotta be honest--I freakin' love your post! talk about re-arranging deck chairs on the titanic, pal. But anyway--wait 1 year. When you're 55, they let you come back. Dim Chat has a very bad relationship with the number 54, so no one who is 54 is allowed to chat. 53. Yes. 55. Yes. 54? Not so much. See you next year!


----------



## GWARrior (Nov 18, 2007)

I give it 2 months. 2+1/2 tops.


----------



## NancyGirl74 (Nov 18, 2007)

GWARrior said:


> I give it 2 months. 2+1/2 tops.



I dunno. I think they are good and pissed....I'm thinking a full 6 months.


----------



## toni (Nov 18, 2007)

Please obey the sign  

View attachment NoDrama.gif


----------



## Still a Skye fan (Nov 18, 2007)

I'm not sure what brought on this decision but I'm sorry you're leaving, Sandie.

All the best to you


Dennis


----------



## Sandie S-R (Nov 18, 2007)

Still a Skye fan said:


> I'm not sure what brought on this decision.....



This might help:

Instant Karma


----------



## Blackjack (Nov 18, 2007)

bluewine said:


> After reading Sandies good bye letter, I sort of know why I never got to involved or submitted any comments here. I was kicked out of the chat room for no reason other than my age(54). I will continue to read others comments and stay in the background.



It _certainly _has nothing to do with the fact that all you ever did in chat was bitch about how nobody's as old as you are.


----------



## Suze (Nov 18, 2007)

toni said:


> Please obey the sign



Kumbaya

.................


----------



## Tina (Nov 19, 2007)

SuperMishe said:


> So THAT's why I followed this thread. I have some major stress going on in my life right now and this is certainly a great release. LOL!


Mische, I find this smilie to be pretty appropriate...






I can't say I feel passionately one way or the other, having watched this sort of thing played out for almost a decade, on various boards, with various people.

Where's Laz when you need him?


----------



## mango (Nov 19, 2007)

*I have nothing against Sandie Z. I guess I missed that drama.

But the same can't be said for Mr. Z!

I don't believe I'm one who generates drama or I'm part of any 'vicous undercurrents' or any such nonsense but you can add me to the list of people (and you know there's afew of us) who has been on the receiving ends of one of this man's vitriolic hate filled posts.

If they ever built a 'flame baiter' statue, the mould has already been cast. 

He helped drive away several forum members from this place who I considered my friends in my time here.

God forbid you had a differing viewpoint (either political or social) to this guy. I found one of his flamebaits so bloody offensive I didn't know whether I was offended more as an Australian or as an one of a contrasting opinion. But let's not get into semantics.


AND DON'T FORGET THIS....*




*BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'LL NEED IT!!


Notice how it plays itself (no emotion required). 


I don't believe they'll be gone for long... especially heading into an election year. They're leaving... 'but they can still be reached via PM'. I think its an attempt to see how many people give a shit. They'll be using the violin more than once. Seen it all before. 


These "I'm leaving" posts really have to stop. *


----------



## moore2me (Nov 19, 2007)

mango said:


> These "I'm leaving" posts really have to stop. :rolleyes:[/B][/QUOTE]
> 
> Except the one started by Santaclear on 8/23/2007, was one of the funniest Threads I have seen in the Lounge.
> 
> [URL="http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=28077"]http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=28077[/URL]


----------



## James (Nov 19, 2007)

As Jes said,

"_its just the internet_"

This is a great place, a wonderful resource... but its still just a message forum... its *not* The Real World.

In fact, because Dims is such a haven for _our _way of seeing the world, that its easy to lose perspective and invest ourselves emotionally into the posts and opinions of others... However, it *is *just the internet and I've found, (admittedly with one or two blips along the way), that only keeping one foot, so to speak, in dimsland is the best way to minimise the melodramatic potential. 

take a break, cool down... and we'll see you in a few months


----------



## activistfatgirl (Nov 19, 2007)

James said:


> take a break, cool down... and we'll see you in a few months



What James says! We'll be around when the Zitkuses return. I think it's sad and I'm going to miss them, but I truly believe you get what you sow (attributed to Surly).

However, I do want to wish an early birthday to my birthday partner, Wayne. It's things like that you get to enjoy as a community when you're not to busy storming off.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Nov 19, 2007)

As I always say, "No one every really goes away or dies in Star Trek." Someone always finds a way during sweeps week to drum up publicity by bringing Scotty back from a jury-rigged transporter or Kirk from a spatial anomaly. Someone reverses the polarity of the neutron flow and huzzah, we're on Sulu's Excelsior. Fabulous.

Do we dare create a "Return to Dims" poll for this? Is that just inviting disaster?


----------



## Shosh (Nov 19, 2007)

James said:


> As Jes said,
> 
> "_its just the internet_"
> 
> ...



Exactly. Can people never redeem themselves? I understand that maybe Sandie has said things that have upset people, but maybe with time away and some soul searching she may be ready to return and contribute here once again.


----------



## Jes (Nov 19, 2007)

Susannah said:


> Exactly. Can people never redeem themselves? I understand that maybe Sandie has said things that have upset people, but maybe with time away and some soul searching she may be ready to return and contribute here once again.



It's not like we've kicked her out. You get that, right? She's chosen to leave. And I think that's a great choice on her part. When this place stops meeting your needs, it's time to go and get them met someplace else where you get more joy.


----------



## lovessbbw (Nov 19, 2007)

SuperMishe said:


> I find this all quite hysterical. I'm not "tired of the drama" because I've learned how to stay out of it. I read the posts and replies that people place here on DIMS. When I agree, I might rep the writer. When I disagree, I simply move along. It's just not that important to me to stir the pot. Life's too short.
> 
> What amuses me the most?
> First the post to announce the grand departure. I've seen it on other boards and forums and it's just hilariousl This is the internet - a virtual world. You don't need to "leave" or resign. There are no membership fees here, no subscription costs ... you just stop posting - simple as that.
> ...



**nods in agreement** **HUGS Mishe**


----------



## Shosh (Nov 19, 2007)

Jes said:


> It's not like we've kicked her out. You get that, right? She's chosen to leave. And I think that's a great choice on her part. When this place stops meeting your needs, it's time to go and get them met someplace else where you get more joy.



Yes I understand that, but it doesn't have to be a permanent departure. I believe that Sandie may need to soul search as I said to understand why she finds interacting with others hard on this board. None of us are perfect, ( Especially me ) and we can all redeem ourself.


----------



## Jes (Nov 19, 2007)

Susannah said:


> , but it doesn't have to be a permanent departure. I.



And it won't be!!

I think that's what we're trying to say here, S.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing (Nov 19, 2007)

I am totally sending everyone this for my Secret Santa thing. 

View attachment 039483013X.01._SCMZZZZZZZ_.jpg


----------



## Wagimawr (Nov 19, 2007)

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=drama+llama


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 19, 2007)

Wayne_Zitkus said:


> Sandie and I will be moving on to the next phase of our lives together. (BTW, that includes our 15th wedding anniversary, which comes up in February. I know that one of the problems that some people around here have with us is that we love each other, snd support each other. How sad that a married couple doing what married couples are supposed to do can make so many enemies.....)





It's true.


There is nothing I hate more than a long term happy marriage. Ooooh it just makes me so mad mad mad.

All I want to do is hate them for it.....ooooh....hate hate hate.








(Man, that was a wierd line. Methinks there missing is information, i.e, a little more than just the SUBLIMELY ridiculous assumption that people have an issue with two people who love each other, otherwise I have think its just pure insanity.)

I... as well as others, I'm sure... are delighted that you're married.... to each other.....You know.. so as to save the rest of humanity from Teh Crazy that is Zitkus.



Funny...."can't" email (or, I guess, PM?) everyone they want, so they post. 


They can find time to monitor for hours though. 


Very Very amusing.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Nov 19, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> There is nothing I hate more than a long term happy marriage. Ooooh it just makes me so mad mad mad.



The only things that I love more than breaking up happy marriages are kicking puppies and eating babies.


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 19, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> The only things that I love more than breaking up happy marriages are kicking puppies and eating babies.




While wearing a baby seal coat!


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 19, 2007)

Ok...Lets do it...a Pool For Their Eventual Return...all money to charity?


----------



## ThatFatGirl (Nov 19, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Ok...Lets do it...a Pool For Their Eventual Return...all money to charity?



$1 they're back by Friday, 10:00 a.m. CST.


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 19, 2007)

ThatFatGirl said:


> $1 they're back by Friday, 10:00 a.m. CST.



Ok...but there has gotta be a window...or else everything before that is a win for you too.

Honor system, I'm thinking?


----------



## snuggletiger (Nov 19, 2007)

Too much drama. Somewhere out there it will be a nice balmy day in Palm Springs where the palm fronds will sway to and fro.


----------



## sweetnnekked (Nov 19, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> The only things that I love more than breaking up happy marriages are kicking puppies and eating babies.



I love you!! Will you marry me?

Even when we divorce we can still kick puppies and eat babies, right?


----------



## TraciJo67 (Nov 19, 2007)

sweetnnekked said:


> I love you!! Will you marry me?
> 
> Even when we divorce we can still kick puppies and eat babies, right?



OH MY GOD!! My first Dims marriage proposal. Granted, I've been the one DOING the proposing for the most part, but still. 

Can you support my jet-set lifestyle? Not that I live one, mind you, but I'm looking to trade UP. Capiche, Kemosabe?


----------



## TraciJo67 (Nov 19, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> While wearing a baby seal coat!



Nah, that one got splattered with paint LAST season. Fucking PETA lunatics.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Nov 19, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> PETA lunatics.


That, my dear, is a redundancy.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Nov 19, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Ok...but there has gotta be a window...or else everything before that is a win for you too.
> 
> Honor system, I'm thinking?



OK but to get in on the pool ... do they actually have to ANNOUNCE their presence, or would proof of a sighting (sans communique) be enough to sweep the pool?

If so, I'm in for $5.


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 19, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> OK but to get in on the pool ... do they actually have to ANNOUNCE their presence, or would proof of a sighting (sans communique) be enough to sweep the pool?
> 
> If so, I'm in for $5.




Announce...hell..they are watching NOW....so that wont work.

Winner gets the honor...now what charity gets the money?

I will collect and put forward....(no, I dont expect a serious uptake on this..but I am serious.)


PM me the date of your choice....


----------



## mossystate (Nov 19, 2007)

I just emailed every person here on Dimensions.


My fingers are bloody stumps.


----------



## sweetnnekked (Nov 19, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> OH MY GOD!! My first Dims marriage proposal. Granted, I've been the one DOING the proposing for the most part, but still.
> 
> Can you support my jet-set lifestyle? Not that I live one, mind you, but I'm looking to trade UP. Capiche, Kemosabe?



Well, I've always lived well above my means so I can't see why I couldn't include you in any of that. However, you'd then have to submit to my exceptionally kinky sex life and, this is the worst of the deal, talk to all of the bill collectors who hound me incessantly!!:wubu:


----------



## TraciJo67 (Nov 19, 2007)

sweetnnekked said:


> Well, I've always lived well above my means so I can't see why I couldn't include you in any of that. However, you'd then have to submit to my exceptionally kinky sex life and, this is the worst of the deal, talk to all of the bill collectors who hound me incessantly!!:wubu:



I have no problem with telling bill collectors to fuck right the fuck off, just so long as it's not my credit score that it's impacting. And of course, it wouldn't be.

As for the kink factor, so long as it involves extraordinary pain and humiliation (yours), pencil me in!


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 19, 2007)

sweetnnekked said:


> Well, I've always lived well above my means so I can't see why I couldn't include you in any of that. However, you'd then have to submit to my exceptionally kinky sex life and, this is the worst of the deal, talk to all of the bill collectors who hound me incessantly!!:wubu:




Submit? Traci?



HO HO HO HO HO..........


This marriage is over.

Besides...she married me last week, so feck off.


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 19, 2007)

mossystate said:


> I just emailed every person here on Dimensions.
> 
> 
> My fingers are bloody stumps.





oh my........the sacrifices you make to spare us your drama. I would hate you, but I only hate happily married people.


----------



## sweetnnekked (Nov 19, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> I have no problem with telling bill collectors to fuck right the fuck off, just so long as it's not my credit score that it's impacting. And of course, it wouldn't be.
> 
> As for the kink factor, so long as it involves extraordinary pain and humiliation (yours), pencil me in!



Oh baby, whip me, beat me, call me dirty names!

Now I'm even more in love with you!! :wubu: :wubu: :wubu:


----------



## mossystate (Nov 19, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> oh my........the sacrifices you make to spare us your drama. I would hate you, but I only hate happily married people.



Huh?...I just hit everybody up for a few dollars.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Nov 19, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Besides...she married me last week, so feck off.



Arv, you were going to find out sooner or later, so I'm out with it.

The JP? My nail technician. I gave him ten bucks and a line of Sweet 'n Lo and he was all set. You really didn't wonder why he kept scratching his nose, and performed the ceremony in Vietnamese?


----------



## ripley (Nov 19, 2007)

mango said:


> AND DON'T FORGET THIS....[/B]
> 
> 
> 
> ...


*



They may be playing it, but there are five pages of all of us dancing to it. *


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 19, 2007)

ripley said:


> They may be playing it, but there are five pages of all of us dancing to it.




That a scold of some sort?


Darlin...big diff:


You are leaving out the "Oh hell, this is funny" factor. As in...the dancers are having fun.


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 19, 2007)

sweetnnekked said:


> Oh baby, whip me, beat me, call me dirty names!




It's always the non pervs that say this. Funny!


----------



## snuggletiger (Nov 19, 2007)

Just don't make me write bad checks. And yaaaaaay no more gall bladder stories.


----------



## BLUEeyedBanshee (Nov 19, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> Just don't make me write bad checks. And yaaaaaay no more gall bladder stories.



Hey wait...is there something wrong with gall bladder stories? 

I can so start some up...really I can...had mine out in August.  

Sorry, after reading so many pages, I was finally compelled to reply to something.


----------



## Jes (Nov 19, 2007)

oddly enough, those never bothered me at all. i figure they were a good description of what can happen to a fat person with a GB issue. And when I wasn't in the mood, i didn't read anything regarding GB. That little tip made things much easier.


----------



## ripley (Nov 19, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> That a scold of some sort?
> 
> 
> Darlin...big diff:
> ...



Not a scold at all. 

I just think it's funny that even when they're "gone" they are still the subject of such brouhaha. 

Guess we all see humor in different places.


----------



## snuggletiger (Nov 19, 2007)

Its one thing to go to the doc for an operation. Thats fine, but who all needs min by min play by play of the bladder's smell.


----------



## BLUEeyedBanshee (Nov 19, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> Its one thing to go to the doc for an operation. Thats fine, but who all needs min by min play by play of the bladder's smell.



Smell? Did I miss something?

In all seriousness though, I think it's really odd, the whole: We're leaving threads...

I just don't get it.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Nov 19, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> Its one thing to go to the doc for an operation. Thats fine, but who all needs min by min play by play of the bladder's smell.



Actually, that's a fun fetish of mine. AND WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?


----------



## snuggletiger (Nov 19, 2007)

everybody has a different kink, rotting body parts isn't one of mine but hey if it helps you reach the BIG-O, hooray for you.


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 19, 2007)

ripley said:


> Not a scold at all.
> 
> I just think it's funny that even when they're "gone" they are still the subject of such brouhaha.
> 
> Guess we all see humor in different places.




And I am thinking that it will last a few days and then go away....like all things here...even BIG things....they pass. (Vince, anyone?)

I don't even see this as much of a brouhaha....just a little thread. Not even an epic one. The percentage of people posting on the thing is a tiny fraction of the percentage reading it.

Were you expecting the Big Announcement to be ....ignored? My dear woman, you have a higher opinion of human nature than I do. That we would look and participate is kind of a given...dontcha think?


----------



## Jes (Nov 19, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> Its one thing to go to the doc for an operation. Thats fine, but who all needs min by min play by play of the bladder's smell.



clearly, i didn't read all of it, based on me not remembering that tidbit. sometimes, when the title is something i'm not so into, i just skip it.


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 19, 2007)

Jes said:


> sometimes, when the title is something i'm not so into, i just skip it.




Such Wisdom.......someone buy this woman a present. I mean it. ....if you WANT to fight or be turned off or get into it with some...then go for it...but if its a turn off..then leave it alone.

(Said the kettle.....who had to learn to avoid all feeding anything......um..mostly)


----------



## ripley (Nov 19, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> And I am thinking that it will last a few days and then go away....like all things here...even BIG things....they pass. (Vince, anyone?)
> 
> I don't even see this as much of a brouhaha....just a little thread. Not even an epic one. The percentage of people posting on the thing is a tiny fraction of the percentage reading it.
> 
> Were you expecting the Big Announcement to be ....ignored? My dear woman, you have a higher opinion of human nature than I do. That we would look and participate is kind of a given...dontcha think?



Oh yes, definitely a given. I even participated myself a few pages ago, though my tongue-in-cheekedness was mostly lost on everyone I think. 

From just a human behavior standpoint it intrigues me though. I mean, if you really wanted to bug them, I think ignoring it would have really turned the knife. This thread just kinda...validates all the stuff she says, in a way.

I definitely remember Vince. I had the reaction to him that a lot of people have to Sandie and Wayne I think; I just could NOT not respond to him. He drove me that nuts.


----------



## snuggletiger (Nov 19, 2007)

In either even light comedy or something relating to light comedy is greatly welcomed or even a witty bon mot.


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 19, 2007)

ripley said:


> From just a human behavior standpoint it intrigues me though. I mean, if you really wanted to bug them, I think ignoring it would have really turned the knife. This thread just kinda...validates all the stuff she says, in a way.
> 
> I definitely remember Vince. I had the reaction to him that a lot of people have to Sandie and Wayne I think; I just could NOT not respond to him. He drove me that nuts.




Validates or no.....doesn't matter...they gave as good as they got and more....don't let their cries of victimhood get into that compassionate heart of yours...save if for someone who deserves it.


As to Vince....I hear you...the heat of a thousand suns could not keep me from responding to that uberdouche. Besides...

....Fun.


----------



## mossystate (Nov 19, 2007)

I did give too much...* bandages my bloody stumps and whimpers *..not a dime has trickled in...cheap people.


----------



## snuggletiger (Nov 19, 2007)

*offers Mossey some panda express fried rice*


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 19, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> *offers Mossey some panda express fried rice*




Because rice has finger healing properties.....



I never knew!


----------



## snuggletiger (Nov 19, 2007)

I could give her some Kung Pao Chicken but some folks are sensitive to hot and spicy foods.


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 19, 2007)

um...........................ok.


(tap tap tap...........this thing on?)


----------



## snuggletiger (Nov 19, 2007)

ummmmmmmm yeah the thingiemagjiggy is on and in the words of Henny Youngman "Its great to be here, anywhere on this salary"


----------



## mossystate (Nov 19, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> *offers Mossey some panda express fried rice*



...rice looks like maggots...maggots on wounds...





see how I deflected the icky energy..no need to thank me...and for those of you who were GOING to enjoy a nice Chinese dinner?...well...sorry...


----------



## snuggletiger (Nov 19, 2007)

mossystate said:


> ...rice looks like maggots...maggots on wounds...
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Good thing I didn't offer you chow mein


----------



## mossystate (Nov 19, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> Good thing I didn't offer you chow mein



step off my weak attempt at humor


----------



## Jane (Nov 19, 2007)

ripley said:


> Oh yes, definitely a given. I even participated myself a few pages ago, though my tongue-in-cheekedness was mostly lost on everyone I think.
> 
> From just a human behavior standpoint it intrigues me though. I mean, if you really wanted to bug them, I think ignoring it would have really turned the knife. This thread just kinda...validates all the stuff she says, in a way.
> 
> I definitely remember Vince. I had the reaction to him that a lot of people have to Sandie and Wayne I think; I just could NOT not respond to him. He drove me that nuts.



People are just sweeping up the floor, straightening up the bar stools, and taking out the empties.


----------



## mossystate (Nov 19, 2007)

Jane said:


> People are just sweeping up the floor, straightening up the bar stools, and taking out the empties.




*L*

perfect


----------



## Tina (Nov 19, 2007)

James said:


> This is a great place, a wonderful resource... but its still just a message forum... its *not* The Real World.


James, I agree, and disagree.

To me, when things are rough here or elsewhere online, it's easy to write it off as being "just the net," a 'place' that's not real. Fact is, though, there are real people and feelings behind each post. Some of those people are idiot trolls, but a goodly number are kind, decent people. 

Also, I have a huge number of people from here and elsewhere who I consider friends, good friends and dear friends. Many went to great trouble and expense to come to the marriage of Big and I. I feel honored and blessed by that. Others have done me real-life kindnesses (including yourself, who made that lovely portrait of me, which will have a place in our new home). There are times I can so clearly see the person on the other side of the screen, and even sometimes know how they are feeling when they write posts, which admittedly sounds weird, yet it's true. There are even people here who I love, and without this place, my husband and I would not be.

So yes, it's not a good thing to invest too much _negative_ emotion in the net, on message boards and such. In that instance, it's Just The Net. But when it comes to kindness, thoughfulness, friendship and love, it's So Much More. :wubu:


----------



## FreeThinker (Nov 19, 2007)

Okay, I've read the thread.

I guess I'm supposed to judge one side or the other now.


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 19, 2007)

FreeThinker said:


> Okay, I've read the thread.
> 
> I guess I'm supposed to judge one side or the other now.





Well..there is a third option, love.....be above it all and say so.

Totally viable.


----------



## Jane (Nov 19, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Well..there is a third option, love.....be above it all and say so.
> 
> Totally viable.



Or don't be above it all, but don't judge.


----------



## NancyGirl74 (Nov 19, 2007)

mossystate said:


> I just emailed every person here on Dimensions.
> 
> 
> My fingers are bloody stumps.



I did not get one! I'm leaving!


----------



## SuperMishe (Nov 19, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> As to Vince....I hear you...the heat of a thousand suns could not keep me from responding to that uberdouche. Besides...
> 
> ....Fun.



Ok, I missed something... who's Vince?! I hate when I'm not in the loop (which is most of the time! LOL!)


----------



## mossystate (Nov 19, 2007)

NancyGirl74 said:


> I did not get one! I'm leaving!




Ok..see you tomorrow!


----------



## BLUEeyedBanshee (Nov 19, 2007)

SuperMishe said:


> Ok, I missed something... who's Vince?! I hate when I'm not in the loop (which is most of the time! LOL!)



Take my word for it...you don't want to know.


----------



## moore2me (Nov 19, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> Its one thing to go to the doc for an operation. Thats fine, but who all needs min by min play by play of the bladder's smell.





snuggletiger said:


> Just don't make me write bad checks. And yaaaaaay no more gall bladder stories.





snuggletiger said:


> everybody has a different kink, rotting body parts isn't one of mine but hey if it helps you reach the BIG-O, hooray for you.



Hmmm. . . . .32 . . . . young, virile, healthy, prime of life. . . . .may I quote a song from an old Broadway & Warner Bros musical, *My Fair Lady* ?

"Just you wait Henry Higgins, Just you wait!" . . . . . 

(Meaning = you'll get old one day & you'll start talking about rotting body parts too, it happens to the best of us.)


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 19, 2007)

Jane said:


> Or don't be above it all, but don't judge.




Oh....well....

If you are going to post HEALTHY and rational alternatives I AM GOING TO TAKE MY BALL AND GO HOME !!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## imfree (Nov 20, 2007)

Here Thread, here thread, come to papa, muahahaha! 

View attachment ! Closed Threads web.jpg


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Nov 20, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Oh....well....
> 
> If you are going to post HEALTHY and rational alternatives I AM GOING TO TAKE MY BALL AND GO HOME !!!!!!!!!!!!


Do not taunt Arvee Fun Ball.


----------



## Observer (Nov 20, 2007)

Interesting timing - earlier this evening it was decided that it appeared that everyone with anything to say on this matter had apparently done so and it would therefore be closed at 9:00.

I had no dealings as a moderator that I recall with either Wayne or Sandie, so cannot fairly be accused of bias one way or the other. They were given multiple chances to altar the behaviors which bothered members of the ciommunity and, while given timeouts on occasion, served their periods of correction without attempts at circumvention.

Neither of them have been banned and their accounts are open and available should they choose to use them. It is regrettable when anyone feels a need to leave. That said, those who wanted to comment on their departure have had their chance to do so and, while their accounts are open, this thread is, for the present at least, closed.


----------

