# Really wanting to experiment with another woman but wonder if (or feel that) my size gets in the way of me finding someone.



## FatBarbieDoll (May 14, 2020)

I guess this is just a little rant of sorts about something that has been on my mind and I feel comfortable posting here because the other members are usually non-judgmental.

So...I am heterosexual, far as I know, but also bicurious. I have never been attracted to another woman before but definitely want to have sex with one at least once in my life before I kick the bucket. 

When I was on dating sites, it was easy breezy to chat with males -- and sex was even easier, if I wanted it; they say that men will screw anything that is willing and have lower standards when it comes to just sex as opposed to relationships. 

I'd sometimes set my gender preferences to women and...crickets, pretty much. I can't help but wonder if that it is because of my size -- women seem to be picker than men.

The women, I am guessing, assume I smell bad and find my body to be unappealing physically. I often didn't even match with women who were in my league looks-wise, but even they want a pretty, skinny partner. I was hoping it was the algorithms, not me, but that is too good to be true, isn't it?

Thank you for reading.


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## BigElectricKat (May 14, 2020)

While I can't be sure because I don't know the who, what, where, when, how or why (and really what would I know anyway), but I will say that you are swimming in the shallow end of the pool (so to speak). Granted, there are literally millions of bi- and bicurious women out there but I would bet that there are very few such women who are also FFA's, relatively speaking. And if you are looking on a "regular" dating site as opposed to one that is skewed toward the larger individuals, you may see even less chance of making a match. Even if there are 20 million bi/bicurious FFA's in the world, that's a very small number comparative to the 7.5 billion people on planet Earth. I have encountered a few here on Dims, so perhaps the better question would be if anyone here knows of a place (dating site) where like minded ladies frequent. 

Personally, I hope you get to experience your wish. Lord knows, I've been having my own struggles with a similar (but not the same) problem. Maybe if you find success, I will one day as well.

Good luck!


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## FatBarbieDoll (May 14, 2020)

BigElectricKat said:


> While I can't be sure because I don't know the who, what, where, when, how or why (and really what would I know anyway), but I will say that you are swimming in the shallow end of the pool (so to speak). Granted, there are literally millions of bi- and bicurious women out there but I would bet that there are very few such women who are also FFA's, relatively speaking. And if you are looking on a "regular" dating site as opposed to one that is skewed toward the larger individuals, you may see even less chance of making a match. Even if there are 20 million bi/bicurious FFA's in the world, that's a very small number comparative to the 7.5 billion people on planet Earth. I have encountered a few here on Dims, so perhaps the better question would be if anyone here knows of a place (dating site) where like minded ladies frequent.
> 
> Personally, I hope you get to experience your wish. Lord knows, I've been having my own struggles with a similar (but not the same) problem. Maybe if you find success, I will one day as well.
> 
> Good luck!


Thank you.
So, you think there are more male FAs/males who are legitimately attracted to large women than females who are legitimately attracted to large women?


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## FatBarbieDoll (May 14, 2020)

FatBarbieDoll said:


> Thank you.
> So, you think there are more male FAs/males who are legitimately attracted to large women than females who are legitimately attracted to large women?



Oh and the “where” was Bumble and POF. Most of the hits I did get, which were already lacking, were from couples. Sigh.


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## BigElectricKat (May 14, 2020)

FatBarbieDoll said:


> Thank you.
> So, you think there are more male FAs/males who are legitimately attracted to large women than females who are legitimately attracted to large women?


I would guess that is true. Consider that being a bi/bicurious female is already a small percentage (say 30% as an example) of the population. And then add to it that of those females, being an FA/FFA is also a small percentage of that (again for the sake of argument say 30% of that). If you were working with a population of one million for instance, you'd have a 9% chance of finding a like minded person and an even smaller chance that you hit it off.

I am NOT trying to discourage you here. Only pointing out that it will probably take longer to find what you are looking for. I'm in the same boat in a sense.


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## BigElectricKat (May 14, 2020)

FatBarbieDoll said:


> Oh and the “where” was Bumble and POF. Most of the hits I did get, which were already lacking, were from couples. Sigh.


Not that I'm advocating either way, and I understand that your desire is to be with a woman but are you completely opposed to such an arrangement with a couple? The reason I ask is that I've know a couple ladies who were bicurious and went in that direction. One liked it and one found that her curiosity was all that she could handle. She didn't actually enjoy being with a woman as much as she had fantasized.


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## FatBarbieDoll (May 14, 2020)

BigElectricKat said:


> Not that I'm advocating either way, and I understand that your desire is to be with a woman but are you completely opposed to such an arrangement with a couple? The reason I ask is that I've know a couple ladies who were bicurious and went in that direction. One liked it and one found that her curiosity was all that she could handle. She didn't actually enjoy being with a woman as much as she had fantasized.


I really would not want a threesome.


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## BigElectricKat (May 14, 2020)

FatBarbieDoll said:


> I really would not want a threesome.


No, I get it. I was looking at it from a "gateway" perspective. You know, they say marijuana is a gateway drug to other things (heroin, meth, oxy etc). Here yu have a little of the familiar (male) and a little of the unknown (female). It was just a thought.


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## Shotha (May 15, 2020)

@FatBarbieDoll and @BigElectricKat I think that some of the logic in this dialogue is not quite right. If a heterosexual woman wants to try having sex with a woman, then what she needs is a woman, who wants to have sex with a woman. That includes not just bisexual or bi-curious women but lesbians as well. This casts the net somewhat wider and so makes the search a little easier. There are plenty of larger lesbians, because many of them reject the notion that a woman needs to be slim and pretty. Men have placed that constraint on women. Nevertheless, lesbians come in all shapes and sizes just like other women. It's just that lesbians tend to be less critical of other women's size.

As BigElectricKat points out, though, it's still going to be a harder job than finding an appropriate heterosexual man as a partner.

I would advise that it would be ethical and kinder to front up right from the start that you just want to try out sex with another woman.

And now for the hard part. As I'm not a lesbian, I can't advise you about the appropriate sites to go looking for a suitable partner. You may find that you would feel more comfortable search for a suitable partner in this quest on mainstream dating sites.

I hope that at least some of this helps.


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