# The biggest woman in the room



## biggirlluvher (Aug 21, 2017)

Ladies: what are your thoughts on being the biggest/heaviest women in the room at the time? Do you enjoy knowing that you have that distinction? My mind goes back to a bash I attended years ago and there were 2 ssbbw that had the titles. One was a model so that gave her even more status. I'm curious to know if for some women that might not be models it's a status symbol or something you dread.


----------



## Tracii (Aug 23, 2017)

Its normal for me to be the biggest most anywhere I go or who I do things with.


----------



## AmyJo1976 (Aug 27, 2017)

It is a funny feeling. Not really normal for me most of the time. I'm the biggest woman in my office now. It doesn't really change anything though.


----------



## AmandaLynn (Aug 27, 2017)

It happened to me a few times. Personally, I think it makes me stand out. Oh look at her... Maybe I'm little vain, but there's no such thing as bad publicity.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Aug 27, 2017)

I don't like it. Don't want to be discerned by my size...I want to be liked or noticed for how I am, not how I look.


----------



## loopytheone (Aug 27, 2017)

I've been the fattest person around a few times, honestly, all I can say is 'meh'. When I was skinny I spent my life paranoid that people would think I was fat and now I actually am fat, I don't understand what I was so afraid of in the first place.


----------



## AmandaLynn (Aug 27, 2017)

loopytheone said:


> I've been the fattest person around a few times, honestly, all I can say is 'meh'. When I was skinny I spent my life paranoid that people would think I was fat and now I actually am fat, I don't understand what I was so afraid of in the first place.




Definitely!!


----------



## AmandaLynn (Aug 28, 2017)

loopytheone said:


> I've been the fattest person around a few times, honestly, all I can say is 'meh'. When I was skinny I spent my life paranoid that people would think I was fat and now I actually am fat, I don't understand what I was so afraid of in the first place.



I read this again and I cannot really cannot agree enough.


----------



## landshark (Aug 29, 2017)

My wife is sensitive to this and for the most part not crazy about it. Any given place we go she is the biggest woman in the room, but sometimes there are exceptions. Along with often being the biggest person in the room, my wife is often the only plus size woman in a given social group. Again, while she's sensitive to this she also seems to be slowly reaching the realization this sort of thing doesn't have to matter. It makes me happy when she can draw assurances from having a husband who embraces her and that she's an amazing mom to 3 awesome kids. Plus she doesn't have an unhealthy sense of self worth due to her weight, whereas she once did. I'm hoping her view on this subject continues to improve and she reaches the point where she doesn't even notice or if she does isn't the least bit sensitive to it.


----------



## fuelingfire (Aug 30, 2017)

My girlfriend says she was the fattest girl in high school when she went. So it was normal for a long time. Not really a title she wanted. Though she is very size positive now, I don't think that is really a title she is looking for. Even when she usually is the biggest person in the room. I am sure she will take the hottest girlfriend in the room title though.


----------



## Tracii (Aug 31, 2017)

Being the fattest in the room really isn't something you strive for.
I know some guys here that have a fat fetish would think is was an achievement to be proud of if their wife/GF was the fattest.
Of course those kind are skinny and don't know what it feels like.


----------



## landshark (Aug 31, 2017)

^ I agree that some guys can be oblivious about it. If I'm honest with myself I've probably been one of those guys at points in our marriage. In fact I know I have because we've had discussions where she's conveyed how uncomfortable a situation made her while the same situation give me a sense of pride. So growing and adjusting and realizing it's not all about me is important. This is also why I've stepped up my PDA in recent years. My wife has been receptive to it, more so in certain situations where she is the biggest woman around. She likes the idea of conveying that her man hasn't settled and is proud to be with her. So basically her response to these situations is, "if you're proud to have the fattest wife in the room then get your ass over here and hold my hand, small my ass and kids me and show that you're proud and make sure you leave no doubt that you feel blessed to be with me."

I think it's natural to feel pride about someone you're genuinely happy to be with, but now I've added an element of mindfulness and situational awareness where I've considered what it's like to be her in certain situations. It doesn't solve everything but it helps.


----------



## Tad (Aug 31, 2017)

Add me to the list of guys who took a while to catch on to this oen.

Long ago, this sort of thing was one of the things that made me realize that my wife didn’t feel the same about her growing size as I did. See, over nearly four years of dating and being engaged she’d gained weight steadily, going from a little thicker than average to small BBW. She loved food, she regularly ate in a manner that to me said “I’m deliberately gaining weight” because I didn’t understand just how much she loved food. So I somehow had the impression that she liked her increasing size, rather than tolerating it as an acceptable side effect of the excellent eating.

She’d not really complained about her size other than being frustrated that when getting a dress for our wedding (not a traditional wedding dress, but still something pretty fancy from a more formal dress shop -- they’d not had anything that fit her, had to order it in, and what she got in her size was not a perfect match for the style that went up to a size 14). 

When she started her masters program, a few weeks before our wedding, the other ten or so women in the program were all quite thin, like probably none of them were over a size 6. My wife was probably twice the weight of a few of them and not too far off of that for the rest. 

I thought that was magnificent, she thought it was really uncomfortable. Throw in that the rest were a pretty competitive bunch and she really felt out of place in that group, and that contributed to her not enjoying her Masters program as much as she’d expected to (she was happy once she was focussed on her paper and could just dive into endless research, but she didn’t enjoy the initial year of classes so much).

From that I learned that she did not like to stand out for her size. My first reaction was that clearly we needed to make more fat friends -- but that idea didn’t fly so well either. Eventually I accepted that this was one factor that was going to stop her from gaining much more (there were also others), and over time came to focus on healthy living without weight loss as a way she could feel better in those situations, because she was probably walking and biking more, and eating better, than most of the thinner people around her (also helped that as we got older, people our age on average were getting heavier, so the difference was not as dramatic.)


----------



## landshark (Aug 31, 2017)

^ My wife is on the brink of going back to school and has expressed some hesitancy due to not being able to fit in the desks. She's considering online programs for that reason even though she prefers the classroom instruction in person.


----------



## fuelingfire (Aug 31, 2017)

happily_married said:


> ^ My wife is on the brink of going back to school and has expressed some hesitancy due to not being able to fit in the desks. She's considering online programs for that reason even though she prefers the classroom instruction in person.



She should visit the school. Just walk in and look around. The most likely offender would be larger lecture halls. If no one is in there try a chair. Many schools are moving away from the traditional desks used in the past.

Though it's a real concern, she can find out if it's an issue, or just something she was worried about. Get rid of roadblocks to happiness.


----------



## Super Fan (Sep 1, 2017)

Tracii said:


> Being the fattest in the room really isn't something you strive for.
> I know some guys here that have a fat fetish would think is was an achievement to be proud of if their wife/GF was the fattest.
> Of course those kind are skinny and don't know what it feels like.



It is sad when the most beautiful girl in the room thinks that her weight should make her husband / BF love her less. Would you prefer to be with a guy who agreed with crowd and pressured you to be different than you are? A guy who would say things like "It's embarrassing to be with the fattest woman in the town festival, why can't you stick to the diet and exercise program we agreed upon?" When the guy who prefers you the way that you are would say things like "Wow, I'm so lucky to be with the most beautiful girl at the festival." :smitten:


----------



## fuelingfire (Sep 1, 2017)

Super Fan said:


> It is sad when the most beautiful girl in the room thinks that her weight should make her husband / BF love her less. Would you prefer to be with a guy who agreed with crowd and pressured you to be different than you are? A guy who would say things like "It's embarrassing to be with the fattest woman in the town festival, why can't you stick to the diet and exercise program we agreed upon?" When the guy who prefers you the way that you are would say things like "Wow, I'm so lucky to be with the most beautiful girl at the festival." :smitten:



I think you read something into Tracii's post that she didn't say.


----------



## landshark (Sep 1, 2017)

Super Fan said:


> *It is sad when the most beautiful girl in the room thinks that her weight should make her husband / BF love her less.* Would you prefer to be with a guy who agreed with crowd and pressured you to be different than you are? A guy who would say things like "It's embarrassing to be with the fattest woman in the town festival, why can't you stick to the diet and exercise program we agreed upon?" When the guy who prefers you the way that you are would say things like "Wow, I'm so lucky to be with the most beautiful girl at the festival." :smitten:



I can't speak for Tracii so I'm not going to say that's not what she meant. It's definitely not what I got from it, though. I took it as a reminder that while a guy may be proud his partner is the fattest one in the room the very thing he's proud of is a source of embarrassment, cause for hesitation, uneasiness, self conscious, etc. His preferences are at odds with hers, but that doesn't mean they have to love each other any less. It means they have work to do: Understanding what makes the other tick and being sensitive to it. The longer you're with someone the easier this is because you learn things about each other over time and water finds its level. But it does take work and being in tune with your partner and understanding that sometimes, even when you're proud of her she is self conscious and over the very same reason you're proud of her!


----------



## Kristal (Sep 1, 2017)

Tracii said:


> Being the fattest in the room really isn't something you strive for.
> I know some guys here that have a fat fetish would think is was an achievement to be proud of if their wife/GF was the fattest.
> Of course those kind are skinny and don't know what it feels like.


Spot on Tracii

Sent from my A571VL using Tapatalk


----------



## Tracii (Sep 1, 2017)

I think super fan totally missed my point.
This is what I was talking about how a guy with a fat fetish thinks and how it clouds their outlook.
The feelings of his fat wife/GF are not even considered.


----------



## Blockierer (Sep 2, 2017)

biggirlluvher said:


> Ladies: what are your thoughts on being the biggest/heaviest women in the room at the time? Do you enjoy knowing that you have that distinction? My mind goes back to a bash I attended years ago and there were 2 ssbbw that had the titles. One was a model so that gave her even more status. I'm curious to know if for some women that might not be models it's a status symbol or something you dread.


With a BMI of 70 my wife is mostly the biggest in the room. There is nothing to fear. That's just the way it is.
I'm proud to be with the biggest woman.


----------



## Super Fan (Sep 3, 2017)

Tracii: "a guy with a fat fetish --- clouds their outlook.
The feelings of his fat wife/GF are not even considered."

Sorry for being cridical like that, I read some of your other posts and you seem to have a good view about yourself. I try to put myself in my super sized GF place. If I were over 500 pounds and people put me down, I would love to meet a girl who prefers and loves me the way that I am, like this song says - 
Fat Boy by Max-A-Million [ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17ncjryCCss[/ame]


----------



## Super Fan (Sep 4, 2017)

happily_married: "a guy may be proud his partner is the fattest one in the room the very thing he's proud of is a source of embarrassment, cause for hesitation, uneasiness, self conscious, etc." 

Yes you're right, but in my case I think the super duper size girls I have been lucky to date actually assume they are the fattest girl in just about any room. I think they would be shocked if they were in a room and saw a girl fatter than they are. I went to the state fair and my girlfriend and I went to the freak show. We saw the fat lady who was selling autographed pictures of herself and my girl said to me "I'm way fatter than her, she should be asking for my autograph". 

Two times we had foreign tourists ask us if we could pose with their families and take pictures of us. Both times my girlfriend was happy to be in pictures with Japanese families gathered around us. It made me feel like my girl and I were spectacular tourist attractions and I felt good about that. Fat is like age, when you're over 500 pounds or over a hundred years old, you realize that finding people older or fatter than yourself is close to impossible.


----------



## LoveBHMS (Sep 7, 2017)

happily_married said:


> ^ My wife is on the brink of going back to school and has expressed some hesitancy due to not being able to fit in the desks. She's considering online programs for that reason even though she prefers the classroom instruction in person.



There's no reason at all for her education to be compromised. There has to be some sort of student services department who can help. If the school caters to older, non traditional students many may be pregnant, baby wearing, or disabled so in all likelihood they're accustomed to helping students who can't use traditional seating. Furthermore I think morbid obesity is covered by the ADA which means if the school gets any public funding, it legally has to make reasonable accommodations for a student.


----------



## Blockierer (Sep 17, 2017)

When I was in my twenties and single I fantasized a lot what it 'd be like to be with the fattest woman in public (holding hands, kissing). I wondered how the reaction of people, friends and relatives would be. :wubu: A frequent fantasy of mine was to state publicly (e.g. talk show) that I love fat women. To be honest, all these fantasies were arousing for me. 
Now, I'm an older guy but I still love being in public with fat women, especially with my wife. I love it to post pics of me on fat-friendly website, being inked with fat-friendly tattoos, ect.


----------



## landshark (Sep 18, 2017)

LoveBHMS said:


> There's no reason at all for her education to be compromised. There has to be some sort of student services department who can help. If the school caters to older, non traditional students many may be pregnant, baby wearing, or disabled so in all likelihood they're accustomed to helping students who can't use traditional seating. Furthermore I think morbid obesity is covered by the ADA which means if the school gets any public funding, it legally has to make reasonable accommodations for a student.



Thank you. I should make it clear: she isn't going to be deterred from going to class due to her weight. She's just not looking forward to some of the challenges she knows await her. I know she'll do well once she starts and gets over the initial jitters. If she can handle being a mom (not to mention being my wife) then school will be easy for her!


----------



## Rahul123 (Jan 30, 2018)

Can anyone share her pics? I want to see big women like her movies.


----------



## ChattyBecca (Feb 13, 2018)

I notice it every once in awhile. I'm not the biggest in my office so that might help. Since that is where I spend most of my time. When going out to eat and such, that's when I notice it. It's mostly my friends that will bring it up.


----------



## landshark (Feb 13, 2018)

ChattyBecca said:


> I notice it every once in awhile. I'm not the biggest in my office so that might help. Since that is where I spend most of my time. When going out to eat and such, that's when I notice it. It's mostly my friends that will bring it up.



When they bring it up is it in a positive or negative context? Or is it just benign?


----------



## ChattyBecca (Feb 13, 2018)

happily_married said:


> When they bring it up is it in a positive or negative context? Or is it just benign?



It's benign I think. It's not very often.


----------



## landshark (Feb 13, 2018)

ChattyBecca said:


> It's benign I think. It's not very often.



I suppose thats a good thing. Some people openly embrace it, others not so much. You really cant fault anyone for how they react to any given situation. There are times I wish so badly my wife would embrace it but I know better than to try to force anything. We know a woman who is very open and embraces user size. Shes a beautiful woman too, but my wife cringes when she draws attention to her [my wifes] size. We both think its great this woman is as confident as she is, but my wife says she could do without the additional attention.


----------



## ChattyBecca (Feb 13, 2018)

happily_married said:


> I suppose thats a good thing. Some people openly embrace it, others not so much. You really cant fault anyone for how they react to any given situation. There are times I wish so badly my wife would embrace it but I know better than to try to force anything. We know a woman who is very open and embraces user size. Shes a beautiful woman too, but my wife cringes when she draws attention to her [my wifes] size. We both think its great this woman is as confident as she is, but my wife says she could do without the additional attention.



Confidence is KEY! I try to be confident, but I don't all the time. I completely understand how your wife feels. You are great to support her!


----------



## landshark (Feb 14, 2018)

ChattyBecca said:


> Confidence is KEY! I try to be confident, but I don't all the time. I completely understand how your wife feels. You are great to support her!



Its natural for confidence to fluctuate. We all have good days and bad. Ive said it over and over though: confidence is beautiful and it doesnt get much more beautiful than a plus size woman who is confident. When you can be the biggest woman in the room and own it because youre confident, that is something special.


----------



## ChattyBecca (Feb 15, 2018)

happily_married said:


> Its natural for confidence to fluctuate. We all have good days and bad. Ive said it over and over though: confidence is beautiful and it doesnt get much more beautiful than a plus size woman who is confident. When you can be the biggest woman in the room and own it because youre confident, that is something special.



Im working on that. . Confidence is sexy!


----------



## traceg (Feb 15, 2018)

ChattyBecca said:


> Im working on that. . Confidence is sexy!



Confidence is Super Sexy! And you sure are&#128513;


----------



## landshark (Feb 15, 2018)

ChattyBecca said:


> I’m working on that. . Confidence is sexy!



Sexy, empowering, healthy...you name it! Keep at it and you will be irresistible!


----------



## ChattyBecca (Feb 16, 2018)

traceg said:


> Confidence is Super Sexy! And you sure are&#128513;



Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.


----------



## ChattyBecca (Feb 16, 2018)

happily_married said:


> Sexy, empowering, healthy...you name it! Keep at it and you will be irresistible!



Each and everyday! Thank you!!!


----------



## andycarter (Jun 16, 2018)

My BFF is normally the heaviest woman in the room, but in our social circle there are two women and several men (including me) who are larger. As body positive as she is, and as non bashful as she is, and as much as we enjoy each other's weight when we're together, she says she's happy to have so many super heavy friends so that in some company at least she isn't the heaviest.


----------



## LifelongFA (Jun 18, 2018)

Just remembering my first NAAFA convention in the early 90s. That's when I began to truly understand what it mean to be the biggest vs. just big. Remember, this was pre-internet, so seeing the biggest of the big was not as easy as it is today. The reason I bring this up is that size is always relative to the places we live, work and our cultures.


----------

