# Admiration vs. Objectification



## EtobicokeFA (Aug 17, 2009)

After looking at some post in the BBW forums, I just got a couple of questions. 

One do we still believe there is a difference between the admiration of the female form and the objectification of women? If there is, where is the line?


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## Dr. Feelgood (Aug 17, 2009)

Admiration and objectification are abstractions: they don't exist "out there" in the world; they exist in your mind. So there isn't a line at all -- unless you draw one at random.


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## EtobicokeFA (Aug 17, 2009)

Well, I mean that since we call ourselves Fat *Admirers *are we encouraging objectification.

Is one good and one bad, or both bad?


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## Dr. Feelgood (Aug 17, 2009)

EtobicokeFA said:


> Well, I mean that since we call ourselves Fat *Admirers *are we encouraging objectification.




You are if you think you are. If, in admiring a woman, you resolutely shut out any consideration of her as a person and focus only on her body, then you're objectifying her. If you are considerate of her feelings, offering friendship and respect, then you are not. :bow:


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## bdog (Aug 17, 2009)

http://picardartclass.ytmnd.com/


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## wrestlingguy (Aug 17, 2009)

Admiration often emotion in describing one's being.

*"I admire her honesty."*

In our group, admiration can be anything from liking someone's smile, to bowing their head in reverence to a fat belly.

That said, I agree with Dr. Feelgood that it's only objectification if you think in your own mind it is.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Aug 17, 2009)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> You are if you think you are. If, in admiring a woman, you resolutely shut out any consideration of her as a person and focus only on her body, then you're objectifying her. If you are considerate of her feelings, offering friendship and respect, then you are not. :bow:



I tend to agree....

There is a huge difference in a guy that likes me as a person and my boobs and guy that just likes my boobs.


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## Esther (Aug 18, 2009)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> You are if you think you are. If, in admiring a woman, you resolutely shut out any consideration of her as a person and focus only on her body, then you're objectifying her. If you are considerate of her feelings, offering friendship and respect, then you are not. :bow:



Beautifully put.


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## Duniwin (Aug 19, 2009)

EtobicokeFA said:


> Well, I mean that since we call ourselves Fat *Admirers *are we encouraging objectification.
> 
> Is one good and one bad, or both bad?



If you are differentiating between admiration and objectification, how does the term Fat _Admirers _encourage _objectification_? Wouldn't it encourage _admiration _rather than _objectification_?

Some people may not recognize a difference between the two, but the difference exists. Objectification is separating a person's physical attributes from the whole person and treating the physical body as a mere object.

Don't be a FO (Fat Objectifyer).


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## EtobicokeFA (Aug 19, 2009)

Duniwin said:


> If you are differentiating between admiration and objectification, how does the term Fat _Admirers _encourage _objectification_? Wouldn't it encourage _admiration _rather than _objectification_?
> 
> Some people may not recognize a difference between the two, but the difference exists. Objectification is separating a person's physical attributes from the whole person and treating the physical body as a mere object.
> 
> Don't be a FO (Fat Objectifyer).



Well, after listen to a lot people who could not recognize the difference, I just wanted make sure there still was! 

Thank you all for reassuring my faith that there is!


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## Jon Blaze (Aug 19, 2009)

Duniwin said:


> If you are differentiating between admiration and objectification, how does the term Fat _Admirers _encourage _objectification_? Wouldn't it encourage _admiration _rather than _objectification_?
> 
> Some people may not recognize a difference between the two, but the difference exists. Objectification is separating a person's physical attributes from the whole person and treating the physical body as a mere object.
> 
> Don't be a FO (Fat Objectifyer).



That's dangerously close to F*** off. Isn't that interesting? 
Remember kids: Don't be a F*** off. lol


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## orin (Aug 19, 2009)

If one can only see a woman as a source of pleasure and nothing more without consideration for her feelings and her desires ... thats objectification ...

but i am restating what was already stated on the board


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Aug 19, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I tend to agree....
> 
> There is a huge difference in a guy that likes me as a person and my boobs and guy that just likes my boobs.



You must spread some reputation around before giving it to Green Eyed Fairy again.

Can somebody rep her here, please?


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## Duniwin (Aug 24, 2009)

Jon Blaze said:


> That's dangerously close to F*** off. Isn't that interesting?
> Remember kids: Don't be a F*** off. lol



I think that's a good message as well.
Also, I was pronouncing FO like "foo," as in "I pity the FO."


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## StarWitness (Aug 25, 2009)

I think everyone is going to have a different standard for when they feel objectified versus admired, so it's hard to really pinpoint when one turns into the other.

I feel objectified when someone treats me in a way that makes me feel like they only regard me as a means to an end. Sexual objectification is a good example (especially relevant on a site like this, where the mutual interest that brings us all together is a certain kind of body), but it certainly extends to other areas.


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## AuntHen (Oct 11, 2009)

Have you ever been on youtube??!! The comments people leave on the BBW/SSBBW vids... they can be anywhere from "I want to f*** that... she makes me hard" to "I want a girlfriend or wife like that... she looks sweet". Of course I also sometimes want to write to the women and say, you are worth more than that stop making yourself an OBJECT only! They are just as guilty.

All the people who leave the "sex" only comments I would say are FO's and truthfully I find it disgusting! It is no different than men who look at thin women and say the same. No one (in my opinion) should be just an object of "getting off". They are people and should be respected, loved, cared for. But again, like I said, if you put yourself out there to be just an OBJECT, whose fault is it really??!!

Now if you love/care about someone as a person and show them respect AND you can't wait to get their clothes off... this is A-OK in my book


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## thea (Oct 11, 2009)

EtobicokeFA said:


> After looking at some post in the BBW forums, I just got a couple of questions.
> 
> One do we still believe there is a difference between the admiration of the female form and the objectification of women? If there is, where is the line?



As a conventionally sized FFA who has been objectified most of my life, I DO have moral issues about how I admire, crave, and perhaps objectify my BHM. No answers tho'...


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## Webmaster (Oct 12, 2009)

EtobicokeFA said:


> After looking at some post in the BBW forums, I just got a couple of questions.
> 
> One do we still believe there is a difference between the admiration of the female form and the objectification of women? If there is, where is the line?



There's probably as many answers as there are women who feel either admired or objectified. And the overall dynamic of females trying to look pretty and attractive while at the same time not wishing to be objectified is hugely complex.


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## RedVelvet (Oct 14, 2009)

What Conrad said. In spades.

Meanwhile..I will say this: I objectify strangers all the time, said the fat girl.

I mean...I have huge, huge lust for the pretty boy who plays Clark/Cal on Smallville. I don't want him for his mind, or conversation... what little of it I have experienced is far from stimulating. I want him naked, and aroused, and silent, except for grunts of pleasure in my general direction, thanks.

He will never know me...so I can do this with moral freedom.

We all objectify strangers. Human nature. I don't think anyone should feel bad about that....its just when people get so desensitized to the fact that there IS a person there....and they CAN experience your objectification through your behavior...in anything from comments on a video to the most extreme... treating fat women as "FAT TO PLAY WITH WHEE!" first...and not as a person.


I'm not saying anything new here.

Just wanted to jump in because I am admiring this thread and others in the FA forum.

heh...admiring.


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## Tina (Oct 14, 2009)

Conrad, concise and right on, I think.

Arv, I agree that we do all objectify and I think it is, in general, a natural function of attraction. I think it becomes a problem when it becomes an inappropriate fixation when relating and communicating to the opposite sex -- unless it's within a venue that is set up for that. 

A also agree regarding Tom Welling. Yum.


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## bigmac (Oct 14, 2009)

I admit I've never really understood the objectification issue/argument/problem. We all objectify other people all the time -- and I question the veracity of anyone who says otherwise. This is not a bad thing. What harm is there in thinking that the girl walking down the hall has a nice bottom or that the guy working on the house next door has nice muscular arms. Last year the fire department had to respond to my house -- I'll let you imagine how much objectification my 19 year old daughter and her friends were doing when four young hot firemen came in the front door.

Indeed lots -- if not most -- relationships start out because one person finds the other physically attractive and initiates contact. The only exception I can think of would be a truly blind date (i.e. not even a profile photo). 




Green Eyed Fairy said:


> There is a huge difference in a guy that likes me as a person and my boobs and guy that just likes my boobs.




So the guy who likes you and your boobs was likely formerly a guy who just liked your boobs. 

There's nothing wrong with this so long as both people can move beyond the purely physical.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 14, 2009)

bigmac said:


> Indeed lots -- if not most -- relationships start out because one person finds the other physically attractive and initiates contact. The only exception I can think of would be a truly blind date (i.e. not even a profile photo).
> 
> 
> So the guy who likes you and your boobs was likely formerly a guy who just liked your boobs.
> ...



Yes, but I feel differently about the guy that likes me for myself and the boobs.....there is a distinct, easily detectable difference in behaviors. 

The biggest difference in men that objectify and men that are just first physically attracted to boobage? The first type never look past the boobs....they talk to the boobs and only think about the boobs. 

Intent and awareness is the difference in my encounters with men.


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## Fascinita (Oct 15, 2009)

I say objectify me all you want from a distance and within the bounds of the law. (Pronouns used rhetorically.)

Just don't approach me as a stranger and try to get me to cooperate with you in my own de-humanization.

The irony of a human being coming face to face with another, out of the blue, _expecting_ her to collude in her own objectification, no questions asked... You know darn well that this stuff doesn't fly between ordinary people. It's one thing to let your mind get carried away from a distance because you think I have a nice behind, and quite another to approach me and describe what you're thinking. I don't know you from Adam.

The "objectification" that's attributed to sexual attraction between couples is never a matter of objectification, since presumably it doesn't take place outside of a context of intimacy (however nascent) and mutual consent (however hasty). The presence of intimacy and consent implies that everyone's humanity has factored in to individual and mutual satisfaction, at least for the moment. 

No. Merely feeling an attraction for someone does not equate "objectification." IT's when we treat people as objects with no possibility of their being treated as anything more that we objectify them.

Those who actively put themselves "out there" for objectification, I expect, have their own motives and reasons. And who am I to question those? Live and let live.

So long as no stranger expects _me_ to behave like I've already _de facto_ given consent to be objectified, up close and personal, we should all be fine.


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## RedVelvet (Oct 15, 2009)

Well....That was perfectly expressed, Fascinita.. 

One could even say.. your right to use me as sexual fodder without my consent ends the moment you make me aware of you in any way.


That's about it for me.

Problem is...the pseudo anonymity of the internets makes people do the equivalent of picking their nose while driving....they think they can't be seen, so they act gross. There are still consequences to commentary.... 

I won't get into ...won't even touch, the other side of this... people who create what's being reacted to.... "sexual-esque" video, etc...any time I have even suggested that there might maybe possibly kinda sorta might be an aspect of ....self induced humiliation...involved...on occasion...possibly...when someone puts up suggestive video, for example....I get slammed as the worse sort of prude...so. Me no touch.


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## LoveBHMS (Oct 15, 2009)

Assuming that can also apply to female FA/male bodies, I'm going to have to go with....does this matter?

It kind of seems like the whole fetish/preference argument. I mean isn't a lot of this just semantics anyway? Like if somebody said to me "Oh, you're not a female fat admirer, you're a female fat objectifier" I would be like "Ok...fine...call it what you want."


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## stefanie (Oct 16, 2009)

Hmm. As an FFA, my view is that if someone's consensually posed for a photo or made a video, then I would say he *wants* to be looked at. Celebrities? Fair game for looking and leching, NOT stalking. And yeah, people are going to look at others on the street, etc. 

But when it comes to people you interact with, no, those people don't exist first & foremost to satisfy your personal fantasies. Treating them like they do (whether it's through a crude or callous remark dropped on a web forum, or the end game of a long exploitative relationship) is objectification - and NOT cool.

However, looking, desiring, staying within appropriate bounds in a relationship or outside it - that's admiration, and IMO there's nothing wrong with it.


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## Weirdo890 (Oct 22, 2009)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> You are if you think you are. If, in admiring a woman, you resolutely shut out any consideration of her as a person and focus only on her body, then you're objectifying her. If you are considerate of her feelings, offering friendship and respect, then you are not. :bow:



I like that. I think that's the best explanation anyone can give about this topic. We all admire women and their bodies, but we must keep in mind that they are human beings with feelings and rights to be treated with dignity, as is every human being. We have our fantasies, but that is what they must be if we are to establish a truly loving relationship.


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## Les Toil (Oct 27, 2009)

I'd have to assume the success of this website as well as being an FA has the whole world to do with objectifying BBW. If it wasn't for their size we wouldn't be drawn to them--or to a website that extols the beauty of the fat female form. I'm assuming we don't "admire" their minds and hearts any more than those of our thinner female friends. But yes, it's everything beneath the skin that will determine if the relationship is sustainable. Now if an FA dumps a woman after she's lost all of her weight, that's a relationship solely based upon objectifying the woman and that really can't be good for anyone.


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## mergirl (Oct 27, 2009)

Les Toil said:


> Now if an FA dumps a woman after she's lost all of her weight, that's a relationship solely based upon objectifying the woman and that really can't be good for anyone.



Hmm.. i dunno. I consider my Fa sexuality to be stronger than my gender sexuality. If my gf decided she wanted to become a man though, while i would still love her and want erm him.. in my life, i can't say for sure i would still sexually want to be with her. I'm sure there would be many things that would make me still attracted to her but she would not be the gender i was generally attracted to. I dont think it would make me shallow not to want to be with someone i was not sexually attracted to- I think it would be unfair for the person you were with to know you wern't attracted to them any more as it would be unfair on you to be with someone you wern't sexually attracted to. You could love the person and be their friend but i think it would be difficult to sustain a relationship if someone changed into something that was not on your sexuality spectrum. 
I am attracted to my girlfriend for many more reasons than just her body, therefore i don't objectify her. Though i am a lesbian Fa- So if she became a skinny man my brain just would not be able to find her attractive. Sexuality isn't shallow, you can't help it.


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## swamptoad (Oct 27, 2009)

When discussing admiration and objectification, wouldn't it be impossible to escape one or the other? I just had this question on my mind as I had pondered what was already discussed.

At times, doesn't the mind choose one or the other for pleasure? Perhaps the mind chooses both? Maybe I've been doing too much thinking about the "id." :doh:


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## cheekyjez (Oct 29, 2009)

I'd say that this issue is the F of the FA - it implies that you're admiring a lady's fat rather than the lady herself. Obviously most FAs here are more "BBWAs", in that they see the whole package.


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## mergirl (Oct 30, 2009)

cheekyjez said:


> I'd say that this issue is the F of the FA - it implies that you're admiring a lady's fat rather than the lady herself. Obviously most FAs here are more "BBWAs", in that they see the whole package.


I have been thinking about this a lot. I think i am going to reject the term 'Fa' from now on because i'm not comfortable with it. Like you say.. something like bbwa might be ok.. I don't admire fat. I don't actually admire anything physical i don't think.. i save my admiration for people who 'do' or 'say' something brilliant...and they can be fat or thin.


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## swamptoad (Oct 30, 2009)

mergirl said:


> I have been thinking about this a lot. I think i am going to reject the term 'Fa' from now on because i'm not comfortable with it. Like you say.. something like bbwa might be ok.. I don't admire fat. I don't actually admire anything physical i don't think.. i save my admiration for people who 'do' or 'say' something brilliant...and they can be fat or thin.



Exactly.

I think that "admiration" on this subject .. well just .. needs a more deserving term in front. I'm not trying to speak ill of the term fat admiration (FA) ... its just always tagged with an individual who possesses an objectifying persona .. and that isn't necessarily always true. Preference or fetish, it just seems to always carry the burden of something negating, at least at first glance. *shrugs*

Community members who have lived with the term just know better.


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## Russ2d (Oct 30, 2009)

LoveBHMS said:


> Assuming that can also apply to female FA/male bodies, I'm going to have to go with....does this matter?
> 
> It kind of seems like the whole fetish/preference argument. I mean isn't a lot of this just semantics anyway? Like if somebody said to me "Oh, you're not a female fat admirer, you're a female fat objectifier" I would be like "Ok...fine...call it what you want."




I completely agree, I "objectify" women all the time and will continue to do so because it is normal natural human behavior. RedVelvet put it very well. We all do it and especially men, it's nature, so this entire conversation is a crock. I mean let's be a teeny tiny bit honest here please

The word objectify is a BS word whose origins I suggest people investigate. hint: Its part of the 'dumbing down' effort. 'Objectify' is not an attempt to instill some moral good into us bad people it is designed to trick otherwise intelligent people into thinking human sexuality is something bad instead of good.

What one person finds "offensive" another wont, and the same act done by two different people may result in different responses because the attention may be wanted from one but not the other; from a particular person or type of person.

But to say hey your lusting after that woman's (or man's) body from afar without an attempt to get to know them so your "objectifying" and therefore doing something wrong... all I can say is anyone who actually buys into this I feel sorry for you.


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 30, 2009)

Russ2d said:


> I completely agree, I "objectify" women all the time and will continue to do so because it is normal natural human behavior. RedVelvet put it very well. We all do it and especially men, it's nature, so this entire conversation is a crock. I mean let's be a teeny tiny bit honest here please
> 
> The word objectify is a BS word whose origins I suggest people investigate. hint: Its part of the 'dumbing down' effort. 'Objectify' is not an attempt to instill some moral good into us bad people it is designed to trick otherwise intelligent people into thinking human sexuality is something bad instead of good.
> 
> ...



I think that you may want to read what Redvelvet said a bit more closely. What SHE said, I agree with.

And hey, there's room for agreement in some of what you said, as well: Some people like the attention. Also, there's nothing inherently wrong with seeing an attractive man or woman and admiring him/her from afar. But the second that anyone expects me to participate in objectification of myself, that crosses a line. What I don't know doesn't harm me in the slightest. Having some lech come on to me in a very creepy way ... does (in that it annoys the bejeebus out of me). In other words, don't expect a kind, patient, or understanding response. 

There's a right way and a wrong way to express appreciation. We all know this. And I don't think that ANYONE thinks it's wrong to view, appreciate, and admire from afar nor would anyone call that 'objectifying'. The term is a lot more sinister than that, and I think you know this already, Russ. So ... the question is ... what are you really objecting to?


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## Russ2d (Oct 30, 2009)

Les Toil said:


> I'd have to assume the success of this website as well as being an FA has the whole world to do with objectifying BBW. If it wasn't for their size we wouldn't be drawn to them--or to a website that extols the beauty of the fat female form. I'm assuming we don't "admire" their minds and hearts any more than those of our thinner female friends. But yes, it's everything beneath the skin that will determine if the relationship is sustainable.




I agree...

The problem is with the word objectify itself. Replace it with desire as in sexual desire... one word connotes positive and is frankly more honest while the other, objectify, denotes negative


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## Russ2d (Oct 30, 2009)

> Having some lech come on to me in a very creepy way ... does (in that it annoys the bejeebus out of me). In other words, don't expect a kind, patient, or understanding response.



A creepy lech is rude behavior which I didn't think I needed to spell out in my post



> There's a right way and a wrong way to express appreciation. We all know this. And I don't think that ANYONE thinks it's wrong to view, appreciate, and admire from afar nor would anyone call that 'objectifying'.



Ahh ok, we agree I think, but not the same message I was getting from others posts



> The term is a lot more sinister than that, and I think you know this already, Russ. So ... the question is ... what are you really objecting to



I 'object' to people not being honest, to redefining what's good into something bad, and to adults being conned

If we want a conversation on rude behavior fine, but people saying or implying that being an FA is close to some 'objectifying' line and that normal sexual behavior needs re-examining is a tiresome irritating line that I am sick of going down


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## Russ2d (Oct 30, 2009)

swamptoad said:


> Exactly.
> 
> I think that "admiration" on this subject .. well just .. needs a more deserving term in front. I'm not trying to speak ill of the term fat admiration (FA) ... its just always tagged with an individual who possesses an objectifying persona .. and that isn't necessarily always true. Preference or fetish, it just seems to always carry the burden of something negating, at least at first glance. *shrugs*
> 
> Community members who have lived with the term just know better.



Ohhh boy, hey how about FL? Fat lust, admiration doesn't really describe the sexual desire FAs feel when viewing a fat woman, that's a woman whose fat curves he desires... or hey when a FFA feels when she sees a portly guy

So how about FL, fat lust or maybe FD, Fat desire

Or since its been around so long we can just live with FA and just reject the 'tagged with an objectifying persona' stuff'.

FA, FL, FD...


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## swamptoad (Oct 30, 2009)

Tina said:


> Conrad, concise and right on, I think.
> 
> Arv, I agree that we do all objectify and I think it is, in general, a natural function of attraction. I think it becomes a problem when it becomes an inappropriate fixation when relating and communicating to the opposite sex -- unless it's within a venue that is set up for that.



I agree.

Admiration and Objectification influence attraction - the quality of arousal in everyone - physically and emotionally. It should be everyone's goal to merit and honor this attraction maturely and responsibly.

What I see is that objectification is externalized whereas admiration is both, internalized and externalized.


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## swamptoad (Oct 30, 2009)

Russ2d said:


> Ohhh boy, hey how about FL? Fat lust, admiration doesn't really describe the sexual desire FAs feel when viewing a fat woman, that's a woman whose fat curves he desires... or hey when a FFA feels when she sees a portly guy
> 
> So how about FL, fat lust or maybe FD, Fat desire
> 
> ...



I don't think objectification can simply just be rejected. It's just how we as humans are naturally programmed. 

Original Post --- "One do we still believe there is a difference between the admiration of the female form and the objectification of women? If there is, where is the line"?

There's just a different set of goals placed in each.

Let's check out some simple definitions. It just sometimes helps me understand stuff without misrepresenting what I think to add later on to threads. And I had no intent to go off-topic here. Just felt like sharing.

*ob&#8901;jec&#8901;ti&#8901;fy*
1. To present or regard as an object: _"Because we have objectified animals, we are able to treat them impersonally" (Barry Lopez)._
2. To make objective, external, or concrete: thoughts objectified in art. 
3. _(Philosophy) (tr)_ to represent concretely; present as an object
objectification 

_Verb	1.	objectify - make external or objective, or give reality to; "language externalizes our thoughts"
exteriorise, exteriorize, externalise, externalize
alter, change, modify - cause to change; make different; cause a transformation; "The advent of the automobile may have altered the growth pattern of the city"; "The discussion has changed my thinking about the issue"
2.	objectify - make impersonal or present as an object; "Will computers depersonalize human interactions?"; "Pornography objectifies women"
depersonalise, depersonalize
alter, change, modify - cause to change; make different; cause a transformation; "The advent of the automobile may have altered the growth pattern of the city"; "The discussion has changed my thinking about the issue." _


*ad·mire*
1. To regard with pleasure, wonder, and approval.
2. To have a high opinion of; esteem or respect.
3. _Chiefly New England & Upper Southern U.S._ To enjoy (something): "I just admire to get letters, but I don't admire to answer them" (Dialect Notes).
4. _Archaic_ To marvel or wonder at.

_Verb	1.	admire - feel admiration for
look up to
esteem, respect, value, prise, prize - regard highly; think much of; "I respect his judgement"; "We prize his creativity"
envy - feel envious towards; admire enviously
look down on - regard with contempt; "the new neighbor looks down on us because our house is very modest"
2.	admireadmire - look at with admiration 
look - perceive with attention; direct one's gaze towards; "She looked over the expanse of land"; "Look at your child!"; "Look--a deer in the backyard!"
admire
verb
1. respect, value, prize, honoured, praise, appreciate, esteem, approve of, revere, venerate, big up (slang, chiefly Caribbean), take your hat off to, have a good or high opinion of, think highly of He admired the way she had coped with life.
2. adore, like, love, desire, take to, go for, fancy (Brit. informal), treasure, worship, cherish, glorify, look up to, dote on, hold dear, be captivated by, have an eye for, find attractive, idolize, take a liking to, be infatuated with, be enamoured of, lavish affection on I admired her when I first met her and I still think she's marvellous.
3. marvel at, look at, appreciate, delight in, gaze at, wonder at, be amazed by, take pleasure in, gape at, be awed by, goggle at, be filled with surprise by We took time to stop and admire the view._


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## SocialbFly (Nov 9, 2009)

Webmaster said:


> There's probably as many answers as there are women who feel either admired or objectified. And the overall dynamic of females trying to look pretty and attractive while at the same time not wishing to be objectified is hugely complex.



ohhh absolutely, you nailed that on the head, those who dress up at a bash, are you dressing for your self or to attract?? that is the double edged answer, for many it is both, you dress for yourself and for the person you hope to attract. But some of the dress i have seen at bashes (while trying so hard not to have my eyes fall out, age does matter, lol) is purely for titilation...which isnt wrong, but increases the objectification alone...


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## chicken legs (Nov 9, 2009)

Objectification to me is seeing someone and being attracted. Then after I get to know them (and still like them) it becomes Admiration. 

So it starts with objectification and ends (hopefully) with Admiration. 

To me that goes with anything that really gets your gander about a person...with its FA'ism, Muscle Fetish, DarkHair fetish..etc.


...ok I have overlapping fetishes...sue me.


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## chicken legs (Jan 9, 2010)

I saw this and man..did it make me think

"You always admire what you really don't understand. "

Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962) 
"Meet the Press", NBC TV 
16 September 1956


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## RedVelvet (Jan 9, 2010)

I like that a lot..

Nothing dispels magic more than familiarity. 




I keep love by never exposing all of my interior mental landscape to the air.

(She said, fooling herself.)





(liking something a lot isn't a fetish, yanno, so I wouldn't think of yourself as someone with a lot of fetishes....you don't need a large muscular brunette near you to orgasm or be aroused..., right?)


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## chicken legs (Jan 9, 2010)

RedVelvet said:


> I like that a lot..
> 
> Nothing dispels magic more than familiarity.
> 
> ...





Well, I guess they could have blond or red hair...


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## Myn (Jul 20, 2010)

This is an old thread and I'm a rank newbie, but... What if I want to be objectified? Not, y'know, to where someone thinks that I owe them something or am welcoming direct crude behavior, but just in terms of looking at my body and thinking "Wow, that's hot!"

I've been admired plenty in my life - you're such a great mom, I love your fanfic, you're an amazing student, how'd you get to be so smart, you're so nice, etc. - but I don't think I've ever been objectified. It might be nice to see how the other half lives in that sense. Does that make sense?


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## Myn (Jul 20, 2010)

I was going to come back and delete the post, since I realized that I was kind of intruding on FA space and being kind of mixed up - saying I want to be objectified but not posting pictures because of warnings that this isn't necessarily a private space and there are apparently people who rip off photos and do goodness knows what with them somewhere in eastern Europe or outer Mongolia or someplace really far away. 

But, by the time I got back, I didn't see any edit or delete buttons. :doh: So, basically, don't mind me.


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## Jon Blaze (Jul 20, 2010)

Your posts were not against the rules, and don't hit my persona offense meter.
Carry on. lol


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## MisterGuy (Jul 21, 2010)

I find the whole objectification/admiration debate hugely boring. If you don't know a woman--a woman on Youtube as used as an example earlier (much earlier, I know)--you might imagine having sex with her and all matter of nasty things, and you certainly aren't thinking about what a great person she probably is, or whether she's happy in her life, etc. This is normal and called being a human being.

Although as a non-sociopath/insane person you are aware that women in videos, online, in the grocery store, wherever, are actually people w/ feelings and lives, this is not an especially important fact until you get to know them, at which time it becomes hugely, centrally important. 

The idea that we should police our own thoughts and sexual ids is very disturbing and also silly, imo.


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