# BBW Identity



## loopytheone (Feb 4, 2015)

I know there are threads on FA identity in that forum and that, along with a couple of other things, have got me thinking about my identity as a BBW. I should preface this by saying that I am using BBW as a shorthand for being a large female, rather than referring to the label itself specifically. 

What I want to ask is, how much do you identify as BBW yourself? Is it an important part of your identity? I never thought it was for me until recently. Not long ago I enquired about something and a couple of days ago the person I spoke to mentioned how nobody who is 'mostly here as a fat person' responded to him and I found myself feeling upset and affronted. I've been trying for the past few days to work out why.

The conclusion I have come to is that I felt upset because I felt as though my identity as a BBW was being undermined or taken away from me. Not that the person in question would ever do that intentionally, they are an awesome person and I have a huge amount of respect for them. But although I post on all parts of this forum pretty much equally and identify as an FFA, I certainly see my identity as a fat woman as far more important and meaningful to me. After all, I have lived my entire life as a fat woman and everybody who sees me knows this, so it impacts my entire life, as opposed to being an FFA, which is only relevant in terms of relationships with other people and isn't something that anyone can see by looking at me. 

I guess what mean by all my rambling is just... how important is your identity as a fat woman to you? Would you be affronted if somebody didn't see you as such?


----------



## olwen (Feb 4, 2015)

Those labels aren't as important to me as they used to be. I would only be offended if I referred to myself as fat and the person I was talking said "oh you're not fat, don't say that." Luckily that hasn't happened to me in a long time tho. I identify as fat but the labels don't really matter all that much. Really the only time I say bbw is in relation to dating sites since that's just a standard usage for a dating site.


----------



## Tracyarts (Feb 4, 2015)

loopytheone said:


> I guess what mean by all my rambling is just... how important is your identity as a fat woman to you? Would you be affronted if somebody didn't see you as such?



It's just one of the many things that I am, and when I think about how I self-identify it's not even one of the first few things that pops into my mind. I have a stronger identity as a tall woman than I do as a fat woman. Probably because I was tall before I was fat and no matter how fat or not fat I will be at any given point in my life, I'm always going to be tall. 

If somebody doesn't see me as fat, then they have either a very skewed idea of what fat is, or they are playing word/mind games along the lines of "Oh you're not fat" or "You're just big". I will say that it kind of irked me when I took some shit for describing myself as a SSBBW. Well, I wear a 4X or 30/32 a lot of the time, so I thought that meant I was supersized. Nope, apparently not since I am tall and my body doesn't necessarily "look" supersized. The people who gave me shit about it came at me from the direction that I was claiming something I did not have a right to claim. False advertising if you will. That made me cringe hard for some reason. It is what it is, I wear the size I wear. Sorry that sets expectations that I cannot and will not meet.


----------



## loopytheone (Feb 6, 2015)

Thank you both for replying, they are interesting to read!

I guess I never really think about my size much, it is just when I feel like somebody is trying to say I am not big that it irks me. And I get the feeling that is probably true for most of the ladies on here. It makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one!

The whole SSBBW/BBW thing is such a difficult subject at times, isn't it? I think it is in part to do with subjectivity as everyone has a different idea of where the line between super size and 'regular' bbw lays. All I can say is that you are the only person in your body and therefore it is your decision what labels you feel are appropriate for your, not anybody else's.


----------



## lucca23v2 (Feb 6, 2015)

Honestly, I only use bbw/ssbbw when I am describing myself to someone who has never seen me. 

To be completely honest, when describing myself I normally let people know that I am Hispanic first, then I say that I am a fat girl ..lol

Don't get me wrong it is part of my identity as much as me being Hispanic is part of it....but not the first thing I think of when I think about who I am.


----------



## mediaboy (Feb 7, 2015)

In the end I loved every woman I've ever loved because of who she was to me. Not what she called herself.


----------



## PeanutButterfly (Feb 8, 2015)

loopytheone said:


> I know there are threads on FA identity in that forum and that, along with a couple of other things, have got me thinking about my identity as a BBW. I should preface this by saying that I am using BBW as a shorthand for being a large female, rather than referring to the label itself specifically.
> 
> What I want to ask is, how much do you identify as BBW yourself? Is it an important part of your identity? I never thought it was for me until recently. Not long ago I enquired about something and a couple of days ago the person I spoke to mentioned how nobody who is 'mostly here as a fat person' responded to him and I found myself feeling upset and affronted. I've been trying for the past few days to work out why.
> 
> ...



This is an interesting dilemma and something I have struggled with more in regards to weight loss. It bothers me less now than it used to, probably because I'm bigger now and could lose 20 or 30 lbs and still be considered a BBW, but once I get down to a range that is questionable it becomes a different matter. I've always been a BBW and self-FA, so losing weight even if necessary bothers me on a fundamental level. I do feel as if some piece of my identity is gone. I also feel slightly like a traitor, as if I've let society win, even though I know logically I make the choices about myself and f society. There's still a little voice in the back of my mind that feels a little guilty for "conforming". Yet there's often a little voice arguing with that one about how I'd really like to just lose those 20 lbs and get back in my old jeans. I guess there's just too many voices  But in all seriousness, I totally understand what you're saying because some many of my experiences have been shaped by my fat and my decision to own it that it is a major piece of my identity, much more so than I would say someone who never found Dims, has no sexual connection to fat, and always wanted to be thin.


----------

