# Advice Needed - A Health Issue



## Celestial Ceece (Mar 12, 2009)

I have a pesky problem that isn't clearing up, and I'm in pig-headed mode right now. I injured my back several years ago, and due to what spine specialists and other professionals have said, I have just given in to the fact that I may live with this pain, lack of function, and injury forever. 

About two weeks ago, I spent a few days doing laundry, cleaning, and just being extremely active. I wasn't listening to my body (I do this quite often) and I should've stopped to rest. But I didn't. My foot started hurting. My back and leg and sciatica started acting up really bad - I have been having spasms, a very hard time walking or functioning, etc.

When I sit down, my foot cramps and hurts like hell. When I walk or put my shoes on, it is the same way. I wake up in the morning and face my day, but I do it with tears in my eyes as of late. I keep hearing other folks say, "go to the hospital" because I have no primary care physician (there is a shortage where I live). I won't go though. I think I'm not going to get treated. I feel as though they are going to either tell me to lose weight or say that the treatment I am getting is par for the course and there is nothing they can do for me that isn't already being done. 

So what do I do? Do I continue to suffer, rest, and hope this goes away? I have a life to live and a child to take care of - and I can't be out of commission. I can't NOT get out of bed in the morning even if that means I cry because of the pain and loss of function. I am just frustrated and getting tired of having to live this way.

HELP!


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## SamanthaNY (Mar 12, 2009)

Three things occur to me after reading your post: 

First, I'm sorry that you're suffering with this pain. I hate the fact that you wake up fearing the day because of the pain you're enduring. 

Second, you deserve fair medical treatment, no matter what your size. You deserve fair medical treatment, no matter what your size. You deserve fair medical treatment, no matter what your size. Has it sunk in yet? What that means is that doctors can't berate you for being fat and refuse to treat you. And if they even try? That's a shitty doctor, and you don't want him/her anyway. I can pretty much guarantee that an Emergency Room isn't going to see someone in excrutiating pain and just dismiss it because of weight. They will help you. 

Third, and this is the tough one. You've already said you won't seek treatment. Do you know how maddening that is for people that are trying to help you?? You talk to your friends, you post here - asking "what should I do?". And then flat out say you're not going to get help. What do you expect us to say? Face north and bow three times? Should I even bother to answer this seriously? Okay - what you should do IS SEEK MEDICAL CARE. Based on what you're saying, you could have nerve damage (in addition to other stuff) - that's fucking serious, ya know? You have a child, and you're risking further (and possibly) permanent injury to your back/spine/legs/feet.... and you're being stubborn. Excuse me for saying this, because it's going to sound mean... but who the hell do you think you are? You are responsible to that child. Plus - you deserve to live a life free of daily pain. The way I see it? You have no choice but to take care of yourself, and that means you SEEK MEDICAL CARE.

Okay, four things. Take a deep breath and just please hear this. Your weight could very well be affecting your condition, because being fat puts increased pressure on your joints. That's just how it is, and there's NO shame in it. A reasonable doctor will speak to you about how your size might be impacting your condition. It doesn't mean s/he's a jerk or a fat hater, so don't immediately walk out. You have a fat body - and it needs different things than bodies of other sizes. So what? So you get those different things, just like everyone else does. I have size 10 feet. They're big. I don't feel shame for my big feet, nor do I cringe if someone notices them. I just buy them size 10 shoes and go along with my day. Ya know?

Now the nitty-gritty. I'm not a medical professional, but based on what you're saying, I would seek medical care ASAFP. If your pain level at any given time is a 6 (on a scale of ten) or above, or if you have a sudden loss of range of motion, I would go to the ER.

I hope that helps, and best of luck to you.


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## Miss Vickie (Mar 12, 2009)

Ceece, I understand your fear of going to the ER and having it be a waste of time. But you see, what you're doing NOW clearly isn't helping so why not give it a try? You're living in pain. So what could you possibly have to lose, since you're already in tremendous pain? Going to the ER means you'll waste, what? A couple hours of your time? For the very real possibility that you'll get some help to get out of pain. It certainly shouldn't give you MORE pain, and very likely you'll feel better. Even if you feel humiliated and are treated like crap (and most people are very nice and will treat you kindly), you will get help.

Ultimately, ER's are not the way to get good long term care. The best way is to find a doctor that you can work with and develop a relationship with them. But at least at the ER you can get some meds and maybe get pointed in the right direction.

For the kind of pain you describe, you need to see a professional. Now, my own preference is chiropractic for problems of the spine. You may choose a different route, like maybe an orthopod. But by seeing no one, you're pretty much guaranteeing that you'll continue to be in pain. Especially if, as you claim, you "don't listen" to your body and continue to aggravate an injury.

Ceece, I hope you decide to get some help. Barring that, I have no real suggestions for you but you have a LOT to lose by continuing to ignore this. It may come a point where it's beyond what your body can heal, and you'll be in a world of hurt. And being somewhat young, you have a lotta years ahead of you. Wouldn't you rather your body hold up for as long as possible?


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Mar 12, 2009)

My advice - and what I did when my back injury got to the point where I could hardly walk - find a chiropractor. If you have insurance it's very likely they will take it and if not try to work out a payment plan. I've had several wonderful chiros who treated me and let me pay off my bill over time. If you are worried about your weight be honest on the phone. I always just say "I'm a large woman over 300 lbs. can you work on me?" I've never gotten a no.

You need help if it is not getting better. I hope you find relief.


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## Miss Vickie (Mar 13, 2009)

Yup, chiropractic is perfect for stuff like this. A good chiropractor will listen to you, take x rays, and start working on making you better. And I've never met one that wasn't size neutral or friendly.


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## HottiMegan (Mar 13, 2009)

I'd like to third the suggestion of a chiropractor. They also work on alternatives to the traditional medicine of drugging you up. They worked wonders on me after i had a bad spill in the bathtub when i was a kid. I also got healing from a pretty bad knee injury. I LOVE chiropractors. I'm going to start seeing one as soon as I get the funds to cover my deductible.


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## OppositesAttract(fa) (Mar 15, 2009)

A SSBBW I once knew who had had severe back pain for years following an automobile accident experienced immediate improvement of her symptoms upon receiving her first prolotherapy treatment, and cumulative, additional improvement upon receiving additional treatments.


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## Sandie S-R (Mar 15, 2009)

I'm another one to advocate for chiropractic care. I've been treated by a chiropractor for over 20 years, and it is the only thing that keeps my pain levels manageable. Interview a Chiro just like you would a regular Doc, look for someone who is more non-invasive (not so much whack and crack) but serious treatments and adjustments for pain issues. My Chiro also has a massage therapist that I see as well and between the two I do pretty well. In fact everyone in the family sees our Chiro. She is a gem!!

Please get to a good Chiro. Ask your friends and family for recommendations if they see one. Lots of times they will work with you on payments, etc.


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## Celestial Ceece (Mar 15, 2009)

Alright, so here's the deal - I have an osteopath I see on a monthly basis for injections and adjustements, plus a rheumatologist that I see every 3 - 6 months. The osteopath is great, but the rheumatologist is quick to brush things off and as I said (or maybe I didn't) recently mentioned WLS to me. 

You're right, I've got a kid I'm caring for and I need to be well for him. I am obviously living in fear and am mentally screwed up. That I will admit to. I had an ear infection a few months ago and waited a week to go to the ER, but I finally bit the bullet and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I was in and out. With this situation I don't think I would be.

I *do* have nerve damage, and bad joints. I've got herniated discs and four pinched nerves in various spots - two in the back, one in each foot (tarsal tunnel). Also, I have osteoarthritis in my knees, but in one knee more than the other due to an injury sustained when I was a teen. The worst of all of the problems I have is rheumatoid arthritis. AS I said, my rheumatologist just tends to not believe me when I bring up my pain issues, etc. She's brushed me off before and i'm sure she'll do it again. I am getting a new doctor but it will take months for my first appointment (already scheduled though). I am going to ask for a referral to a new rheumatologist at that time. 

My father passed away recently so my last trips to the hospital (prior to the ear infection) were very traumatic for me. I knew going to the hospital would be a painful experience after that and I should've learned my lesson from what happened to my father. I'm like him - he was always very strong-willed. Even when he was in bed dying at his home he thought it was part of his illness to be in severe pain, unable to move, etc. He waited a little too long to go to the hospital and three days after he was first admitted to the ICU, my family gathered around his death bed...and made the decision to end his suffering because he had no chance of survival anyway. So there are some very fresh (mental) wounds there and I'm so much like my father it scares me. 

I'm aware that this sounds screwed up, so I'm sorry to have bothered people for advice, but I do appreciate it. I have no idea how to balance being a "mom" while being disabled. I didn't think that this could or would happen to me and tomorrow I have a million things to do. My foster son's birthday is this week and I have promised him that I will be better by then so that we can do the things we've planned. Which means tomorrow I am going to the hospital. I don't want to have to go, I really don't...but rest isn't helping, nothing is. 

I am just very afraid that they will do little to nothing for me, because I'm on so many heavy meds right now. I hope they would possibly x-ray areas that might be injured...maybe they would give me a shot of muscle relaxant in my back so I could move again. I'm also afraid they are going to tell me to rest, and I've barely been able to do that lately. 

God help me! 



SamanthaNY said:


> Three things occur to me after reading your post:
> 
> First, I'm sorry that you're suffering with this pain. I hate the fact that you wake up fearing the day because of the pain you're enduring.
> 
> ...


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## Celestial Ceece (Mar 15, 2009)

You're absolutely right (and so is everyone else who has posted). I know that it can't get any worse than this...wait, I shouldn't say that, because I've said it before and it *has* gotten worse. Like God was laughing at me or something. After all, my father died, and nobody was ready to let him go...I don't think he really wanted to go either. His last words to my brother and my grandmother were, "I'm not going anywhere right now." Maybe that's the worst it can get - I haven't quite figured it out. 

I have to go to town tomorrow, where the emergency room is located. And after I run my errands (that is if i can do them at all) I am going to the ER. Of course, if I can't run the errands, then the ER will be destination number one. Because, as you've said, my body just isn't going to heal on its own so now is the time to seek outside help. 

I think I should go lay down for a while but I appreciate the honesty of everyone here, and thank you for your help! 

BTW I see an osteopath instead of a chiro, because my insurance (state/federal) recently stopped covering chiro appointments - and the osteopath does hands-on adjustments and injections and is very gentle with me. He considers all of my conditions and has never, ever mentioned my weight (unless I've brought it up). 

THANKS EVERYONE! I will post here tomorrow or the following day, depending on what happens, with an update on my condition (for those who care).

XOXOXOXO and Fat, Crippled, Gimpy Girl HUGS!



Miss Vickie said:


> Ceece, I understand your fear of going to the ER and having it be a waste of time. But you see, what you're doing NOW clearly isn't helping so why not give it a try? You're living in pain. So what could you possibly have to lose, since you're already in tremendous pain? Going to the ER means you'll waste, what? A couple hours of your time? For the very real possibility that you'll get some help to get out of pain. It certainly shouldn't give you MORE pain, and very likely you'll feel better. Even if you feel humiliated and are treated like crap (and most people are very nice and will treat you kindly), you will get help.
> 
> Ultimately, ER's are not the way to get good long term care. The best way is to find a doctor that you can work with and develop a relationship with them. But at least at the ER you can get some meds and maybe get pointed in the right direction.
> 
> ...


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## SamanthaNY (Mar 15, 2009)

Ceece - it's *never* a bother when people ask for help or advice. I'm sorry I came on as strong as I did - it just gets my dander up when people are suffering unnecessarily. There is so much help to be had... it just takes a bit of time to find the right thing. 

Just remember that when you take care of yourself - you're _also_ helping your son, ya know? We all want you to be happy, healthy and pain-free - so please put yourself at the top of your list of things to take care of. 

*hug*


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## Celestial Ceece (Mar 16, 2009)

Thanks again Samantha. Support is great - just knowing that there are people who actually give a damn is what I need.

I went to the ER this morning and the nurses were okay, but the Doctor I saw was NOT. I was in tears while there, having spent the majority of my morning crying too. But enough with the crying part. I knew I had to go, no matter what the outcome was going to be.

The Doctor was the skinniest man I've seen in ages. He said, "well there isn't anything I can do for you that hasn't already been done" but " I will give you a referral for physical therapy." And then the kicker, "I am really concerned about your weight, and I can't give you any prednisone because you will retain water and possibly gain weight!" PLUS: "these symptoms are consistent with sciatica." So they did give me lyrica, which is something I've been on for nerve pain in the past. I am supposed to contact my osteopath and my rheumatologist to let them know that this is going on, but they can't do anything really. I feel like I don't have many options. 

So I left there completely furious...as I said, I was already crying and the lack of empathy by this dude made me upset. I got into my car and started screaming and crying and praying to god for a solution. I guess I'm going to start physical therapy, but for the next few days, I'm focusing on resting - legs and feet up....until I can walk without limping once more. 

I feel defeated. And tired. I saw something on TV after this all happened though, that I think I was supposed to see. There were reruns of this show that Billy Rae Cyrus was in as a Doctor. He had this patient who complained of ankle pain (that is my primary symptom aside from the other pain I am having). He didn't believe her at first and told her it was all in her head. Then, he did some further investigation and testing on the girl and found out she did indeed have something seriously wrong with her that was causing actual pain. He explained to her what the problem was and what he was going to give her for treatment. That included medication for pain and a block to stop the pain. I started crying outloud, wishing that I had seen Dr. Mullet, whatever his character's name was, rather than the guy I saw today. Maybe he would've done something more for me AND believed that my pain is worth helping. But I can't change the past. At least it is documented that I went to the ER for back, leg, and severe foot and ankle pain, and that I am in need of stronger treatments/therapies for what I've got. I've never had a block suggested but I want to look into that. I deserve to be pain-free, or at least have more of a reduction in the pain I have. I know people who have 10%, maybe less, of the problems I have, and they get as much if not better pain management than I do. They are maintaining a habit whereas I actually NEED the meds to live and function. I am sick of being treated like one of THEM. 

Okay, enough of my rant. I should go rest. I have to take care of other people after all.

XO and Thanks to everyone for their concern....



SamanthaNY said:


> Ceece - it's *never* a bother when people ask for help or advice. I'm sorry I came on as strong as I did - it just gets my dander up when people are suffering unnecessarily. There is so much help to be had... it just takes a bit of time to find the right thing.
> 
> Just remember that when you take care of yourself - you're _also_ helping your son, ya know? We all want you to be happy, healthy and pain-free - so please put yourself at the top of your list of things to take care of.
> 
> *hug*


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## SamanthaNY (Mar 16, 2009)

If there is a God above, may s/he smite nasty-ass, size-prejudiced doctors. 

Effing hell, I'm sorry you ran into that doc at the ER. It sounds as if he was *everything* you did NOT need (or deserve!). I think if I were you, I would definitely go to the physical therapy, and start using that as a way to get a referrel to a competent and kind doctor. It's a roundabout way to do it, but by asking the tech and the nurses some pointed questions, I'll bet you can find a doctor who can help you.

Rest now, but just don't give up. You _will _get help - I'm just sorry it's taking this long.


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## Celestial Ceece (Mar 20, 2009)

Thanks again Samantha. I've been getting better - but the progress is so slow I can't even begin to tell you how frustrated I am. I'm resting and in between the rest I'm doing the things I *have* to do - cooking, cleaning, taking care of business at my home. It hasn't been easy and I wish I had someone to help me when I have hard times. I wish I could get someone to clean for me (I'd pay em, I'm so desperate). It is really difficult to keep up with an eight-year old who has been through turmoil and difficult times in his life. Being a foster mother is one of the most challenging experiences EVER. I thought being disabled was difficult. Guess I was wrong!

I do have a new Doctor that I've been scheduled to see, sometime in the next couple of months. I have heard that he is good, so I hope he'll be someone I can trust and work with - who won't focus on my weight. He is an osteopath AND a family doc, and I have been seeing an osteopath for over a year (and he has been the best healthcare provider as far as all my issues are concerned - because he believes in holism and sees me as a person rather than merely a patient). 

But yeah, hopefully I'll be better soon. I see my osteopath this week and he'll know that I've not been good, and hopefully will help me deal with it by adjusting meds accordingly. We shall see. At least he'll be able to adjust me (physically) and inject me with steroids and his magic solution...it has herbal and plant extracts and such. Not sure of the exact formula, but it does help A LOT!

So in the end, not all of my experiences have been bad, just a few...and if I tell the truth about what I'm going through, I'm more likely to get help than if I don't speak up at all. 

XO



SamanthaNY said:


> If there is a God above, may s/he smite nasty-ass, size-prejudiced doctors.
> 
> Effing hell, I'm sorry you ran into that doc at the ER. It sounds as if he was *everything* you did NOT need (or deserve!). I think if I were you, I would definitely go to the physical therapy, and start using that as a way to get a referrel to a competent and kind doctor. It's a roundabout way to do it, but by asking the tech and the nurses some pointed questions, I'll bet you can find a doctor who can help you.
> 
> Rest now, but just don't give up. You _will _get help - I'm just sorry it's taking this long.


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