# Who is this "feedee" of which you speak?



## Fuzzy Necromancer (Sep 10, 2008)

I've recently noticed something. Whenever weight gain and feeding are discussed, all the conversation centers on the feeder and his girlfriend (or, in rare cases, somebody acknowledges that feeders can be girls and can have boyfriends). The positive ones defend the feeder, the negative ones attack this abusive brain-washer for not accepting their SO the way they are. 

The point is, all of these perspectives seem to act more or less as if feedees didn't exist. They go with the default assumption that the feeder has hooked up with a BBW or BHM who may be a foodee but certainly wouldn't have any active desire to gain weight where it not for their outside intervention. 

I find this rather perplexing. I mean, no wonder so many descriptions of feederism (even the name is biased, I perfer the term "feedism") tend to be a bit one-sided, and so many people see feeders as a bit warped. How would other fetishes look if nobody mentioned the reverse side of it? Fisters would look pretty twisted without fistees. Dominants would seem vicious and malicious if you never brought up the existance of subs. Masochists would seem highly unbalanced if nobody mentioned there were such things as sadist.


Erotic Weight Gain, Weight Board, Dimensions, and SA community at large, I beg of you,
Where's the feedee?


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## activistfatgirl (Sep 10, 2008)

It's like the "Where's the Feedee?" game these days. Feedees are people, too! And even exist and stuff. We don't need to take night-vision photos of them in front of the fridge -- I mean, some are even members of this very forum!!!

I jest, but I hear you, Fuzzy N. I've noticed a trend of the silent feedee around here. Women in particular who are feedees tend to keep it on the downlow. I can only assume its because of a general sense of frustration loped at the "lifestyle" from our larger community. Or maybe I'm making this up. 

There's this crazy secretiveness to it all. People are scared to admit it for fear of judgment. Several times in my dimensions career women have confessed to me their Super Secret Feedee Orientation in hushed tones and whispers, "I've never told anyone this before."

Maybe we should have an I'm a feedee! pride day. But I can guarantee that this couldn't happen until the WB reaches a place where more women post here and more not-totally-anonymous men post where it's both a "safe space" but also not a totally conflict-free space, either. 

God, I might be totally full of shit, but at least I'm open to that. ha ha.


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## Wagimawr (Sep 10, 2008)

activistfatgirl said:


> Women in particular who are feedees tend to keep it on the downlow.


I'm thinking that this in particular is a combination of the issue Fuzzy mentioned AND the no doubt explosive influx of PMs and messages that result upon Dims men's discovery of fresh meat.


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## CuslonGodibb (Sep 10, 2008)

Fuzzy Necromancer - I've never thought of it in this way before, but sure, you have a good point. I, too, would prefer "feedism" to "feederism". Your alternative - "feedism" - just feels more inclusive, whereas "feederism" sort of excludes the feedee. Thanks for making me notice!

/ CuslonGodibb




Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> [---]The point is, all of these perspectives seem to act more or less as if feedees didn't exist. [---] I find this rather perplexing. I mean, no wonder so many descriptions of feederism (even the name is biased, I perfer the term "feedism") tend to be a bit one-sided, and so many people see feeders as a bit warped. How would other fetishes look if nobody mentioned the reverse side of it? [---]


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## Tad (Sep 10, 2008)

Also, just to mention, that 'feedees' probably vary in drives and details just as much as 'feeders' do. 

Just by way of example, over the years there have been a couple of women** for whom I've put together 'custom' stories (basically taking some of their fantasies, sending them back to them in story form, getting their feedback and incorporating it into the next installment, etc). One's fantasies were pretty much totally sub, running towards a guy totally running her life and her totally giving over her initiative to him. The other was much more a queen bee, liking the idea of being a bossy feedee, commanding others to come feed her, controlling others behavior in order to give them the privilege of her eating.

And the variations go far beyond that, of course. There are variations not just in power/control, but in fantasy to reality, focus on gaining versus on eating versus on feeling stuffed, those who want to do it for themselves versus those who want to it for others, amount of wanting to gain, and all sorts of other variables.

Which means that you could have some of these desires, but read stories in the library, for instance, and say "That isn't me!" or read about one of the few brave feedees who do post here, and think "but I'm not like that." Which makes coming out as a feedee probably that much harder. You aren't quite sure how well the label fits, you may not want people to think that you are that other way, and so on.

For what it is worth, I do identify as a feedee (more strongly than I do as a feeder), but have made the decision that it will remain 99% in my fantasies (the 1% is the occasional weekend of self-indulgence). But it seems to me that in general guys are more willing to come forward about these feelings than are women, whether because there are more guys who feel this way, or they are just more open about it, I don't know. 

-Ed

** This is the internet, so of course not 100% sure of the 'woman' thing, but in both cases I think it probable, and at any rate they were people who fantasized about being a feedee woman.


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Sep 10, 2008)

Those are good points on why feedees might not be common "in the flesh" as it were.

I'm more perplexed however in their absense from hypothetical debate. Whenever somebody complains about the wrongness of feeding or somebody defends it, they generally discuss feeders and altogether ignore the fact that individuals can want to get fat even if they are single.


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## Tad (Sep 11, 2008)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> I'm more perplexed however in their absense from hypothetical debate. Whenever somebody complains about the wrongness of feeding or somebody defends it, they generally discuss feeders and altogether ignore the fact that individuals can want to get fat even if they are single.



That could be because a lot of those discussions start when a woman who is not a feedee gets tired of being approached by guys who are feeders. That is a chronic issue at Dimensions chat and forums (guys pushing the feeding agenda on women they don't know have any interest in it). There are a lot of women here who have had that happen to them a lot, so right there you have a good sized constituency whose main exposure to feeding is guys looking for a woman who will gain for them. So I think that tends to colour the debate.


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## Ample Pie (Sep 11, 2008)

I haven't noticed the lack of "feedees" but then again, I am a feedee and such mention probably stands out to me. It seems, to me, like everyone has something to say about feedees. That we're victims. That we're always submissive...or I should say passive...in the role. That we're brainwashed. That we LET ourselves be abused. That when we are women, we can't be feminists too because somehow the two roles have become mutually exclusive.

I haven't noticed us really missing on the positive end of things either--which is to say, most people who speak positively of feeders/feeding tend to speak pretty excitedly/positively of feedees, too. (I say this based on my experiences, of course.)

Also, I don't think I'd ever want to rely on my opposite number to make my fetish seem less threatening. I mean, if I am a submissive out to hurt no one, that's just fine whether there are Doms out there or not (the reverse is, of course, also true [sad and lonely maybe, but true]). Feeders (and FAs in general) seem to need lots of encouragement for their desires (also something I've noticed from personal experience). 

If you need to justify your feelings with the phrase "but there are people who like being treated this way" it sounds too much like nervous justification. You're a feeder, you don't do it to hurt anyone, you know your partner (or potential partner) enjoys it: own it; don't justify it. 

Lastly, to the feeders of the world, if you think the feedees *are *missing, I hope you'll do your best to keep us in the picture  we're kind of important in the equation, too.


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## LillyBBBW (Sep 11, 2008)

I've done it once or twice here in the past. My exploits are heavily documented in the sticky thread. I've seen others do it also but after a while you tend to develope a glass eye towards people who come here seeing feeders as souless goblins out to harvest their fat. There may be a few reasons in play that keep the feedees (sic) from getting involved:


we no longer care about those people
those folks don't belong here anyway
it won't help
Instead we tend to wait it out until they hopefully gain a new interest in the 'slap it or save it' thread so we can get back to the original topic. I find that in general a lot of time is wasted replying to stupid posts. If I post that my grandma makes the best oatmeal cookies ever and I fail to put IMHO in the text, surely someone will raise an issue and I'll have to come back and defend what I wrote. If you say something feeder fantasy related and fail to include the fact that you appreciate your girlfriend's love of dead Russian philosophers someone will assume you're a villain with a girl in your clutches. There are lots of dumb things that happen around here but eventually people grow weary of explaining again and again. 

This is confounded by the fact that there are legitimate stories of woe out there. Like in any genre, idiots abound. There are people who do meet with bad feeders and I don't want to marginalize their experiences. The solution is for them to weed out the bad guys like every other person on the planet has to do but it gets tiring engaging in defensive dialogue with the ignorant.


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## Tad (Sep 11, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> I've done it once or twice here in the past. ........but it gets tiring engaging in defensive dialogue with the ignorant.



Curse you, rep gods who deny me the ability to rep Lilly more often!


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## shin_moyseku (Sep 11, 2008)

OMG I LOVE this woman, she is sooo Damn Right!!!!!!

Hope you have been very well dear Lilly- :bow:



LillyBBBW said:


> I've done it once or twice here in the past. My exploits are heavily documented in the sticky thread. I've seen others do it also but after a while you tend to develope a glass eye towards people who come here seeing feeders as souless goblins out to harvest their fat. There may be a few reasons in play that keep the feedees (sic) from getting involved:
> 
> 
> we no longer care about those people
> ...


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## exile in thighville (Sep 11, 2008)

activistfatgirl said:


> It's like the "Where's the Feedee?" game these days. Feedees are people, too! And even exist and stuff. We don't need to take night-vision photos of them in front of the fridge -- I mean, some are even members of this very forum!!!
> 
> I jest, but I hear you, Fuzzy N. I've noticed a trend of the silent feedee around here. Women in particular who are feedees tend to keep it on the downlow. I can only assume its because of a general sense of frustration loped at the "lifestyle" from our larger community. Or maybe I'm making this up.
> 
> ...



Tiff, this is fantastic.

It's especially surprising in this universe, where plenty of girls raised their hand in the "do you enjoy anal" thread. The fear of judgment is odd.

One thing I'm certain of is that more women are "converted" to feederism by feeder boyfriends, and that some of these folk can take it or leave it, while others have had their sexual repertoire completely rewired by it. So I've always found the distinctions "feeder" and "feedee" too oddly committed. I'm a feeder but it's not like, my job. I'm not really defined by what I do in bed prior to orgasm. To me this stuff is just a subset of foreplay. 

I think the women who keep it on the downlow are too worried about being branded a certain way when even the judges should think it's totally "understandable" that when one dates a feeder she's at the very least experimenting with aspects of a feeder/feedee relationship.

As for the judgment, I've always maintained that this is an unusual fetish to be under constant criticism by the community it pertains to. There's not much you can do with a cupcake. The people who really "transform" with this lifestyle aren't exactly caught unawares at this point.


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## exile in thighville (Sep 11, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> If I post that my grandma makes the best oatmeal cookies ever and I fail to put IMHO in the text, surely someone will raise an issue and I'll have to come back and defend what I wrote.



Ha, so true.


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## Mishty (Sep 11, 2008)

activistfatgirl said:


> It's like the "Where's the Feedee?" game these days. Feedees are people, too! And even exist and stuff. We don't need to take night-vision photos of them in front of the fridge -- I mean, some are even members of this very forum!!!




Maybe off subject,maybe my way of saying *hello* 
but this reminded me of those 
weird night cameras the hunters use around here, 
the deer always looks stunned when he 
hears the little click, but keeps on eating...... dumb deer.


I've never told anyone this before...but, I'm A Feedee! pride day sounds like a good idea....


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## prettyssbbw (Sep 11, 2008)

I am a feedee ! *waving my feedee flag high*  

edx,i will rep Lilly for ya.


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## LillyBBBW (Sep 11, 2008)

exile in thighville said:


> Tiff, this is fantastic.
> 
> It's especially surprising in this universe, where plenty of girls raised their hand in the "do you enjoy anal" thread. The fear of judgment is odd.
> 
> ...



Feedeeism is a bit different for the feedee than the feeder. Speaking mostly for myself, it is a more introspective thing that places no requirement on my partner at all. I am pretty much the catalyst for my own desires which kick in automatically without thought. There's no longing, no need to report it to the IRS, question or explain it. I never knew it was a 'thing' till I actually had a conversation with a feeder and realized that it could be shared and ignited with just the right abmount of verbal pursuasion. I didn't want to share though as I felt doing so took away some of the deviant self indulgence that's a part of what makes it so thrilling. It's difficult to break from that pattern of thinking or to even want to. I'm certain there are many other women out there similarly inclined who get frightened off by the intensive digging a lot of feeders do if it's even brought up. For a feeder obviously it's much different but for a feedee, unless they're a skinny person who can't gain it's rare there's a desire for a feedee to go on and on about it wistfully unless s/he wants a lot of emails or website traffic. In many cases it's the feedee who is most suspicious of feeders because they don't want anyone trying to muscle the reigns away from them. It's one of the strongest reasons I remained silent for years. Stupid assumptions ran a close second.


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Sep 11, 2008)

Mkay. >_>

Bleah. I don't feel too good about being a feeder after reading this.

*puts on his Emo cape*


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## LillyBBBW (Sep 11, 2008)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> Mkay. >_>
> 
> Bleah. I don't feel too good about being a feeder after reading this.
> 
> *puts on his Emo cape*



Really, Why?


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## DrFeeder (Sep 12, 2008)

> Maybe we should have an I'm a feedee! pride day



That's one parade I won't miss! And I'll take photos--comparing one year to the next would be awesome!


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## exile in thighville (Sep 12, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> Feedeeism is a bit different for the feedee than the feeder. Speaking mostly for myself, it is a more introspective thing that places no requirement on my partner at all. I am pretty much the catalyst for my own desires which kick in automatically without thought. There's no longing, no need to report it to the IRS, question or explain it. I never knew it was a 'thing' till I actually had a conversation with a feeder and realized that it could be shared and ignited with just the right abmount of verbal pursuasion. I didn't want to share though as I felt doing so took away some of the deviant self indulgence that's a part of what makes it so thrilling. It's difficult to break from that pattern of thinking or to even want to. I'm certain there are many other women out there similarly inclined who get frightened off by the intensive digging a lot of feeders do if it's even brought up. For a feeder obviously it's much different but for a feedee, unless they're a skinny person who can't gain it's rare there's a desire for a feedee to go on and on about it wistfully unless s/he wants a lot of emails or website traffic. In many cases it's the feedee who is most suspicious of feeders because they don't want anyone trying to muscle the reigns away from them. It's one of the strongest reasons I remained silent for years. Stupid assumptions ran a close second.



Oh yeah, I'm certainly not saying all fetishes are male-created, just that it's more common for men to be the catalyst for making women do Weird Stuff. I think we're more likely to talk about it too, which is only saying that girls are less likely to put themselves at risk to be judged, which is what this thread's about, I realize while typing this sentence.


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Sep 12, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> Really, Why?



Well, it makes me feel a little creepy and relationally lopsided. All that stuff about intimidating feeders and feeders swamping new feedees with requests or obsessing about feeding, and the fact that feeders need feedees to be fulfilled but feedees don't need feeders. Everybody likes to feel wanted/needed. =/


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## LillyBBBW (Sep 13, 2008)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> Well, it makes me feel a little creepy and relationally lopsided. All that stuff about intimidating feeders and feeders swamping new feedees with requests or obsessing about feeding, and the fact that feeders need feedees to be fulfilled but feedees don't need feeders. Everybody likes to feel wanted/needed. =/



It doesn't necessarily have to be in that extreme. If a woman loves to wear high heels because they make her feel sexy and a guy likes a girl in high heels it works out. The fact that she can wear and enjoy them without him being present isn't necessarily a bad thing for either it's just when someone's behavior is out of control that it gets scary. The desires on their own are wonderful, it's just when guys forget to behave themselves and start grabbing willy nilly at your parts. It's really all about boundaries. It doesn't hurt to learn where they are. There no reason we can't all co exist.


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## LillyBBBW (Sep 13, 2008)

exile in thighville said:


> Oh yeah, I'm certainly not saying all fetishes are male-created, just that it's more common for men to be the catalyst for making women do Weird Stuff. I think we're more likely to talk about it too, which is only saying that girls are less likely to put themselves at risk to be judged, which is what this thread's about, I realize while typing this sentence.



I wasn't actually disputing what you wrote, it merely provoked me to think out loud. But yeah, there might be people willing to play. It's a kink like anything else. Once the relationship is over though it may not be the life changing experience that makes them look for it elsewhere. They go back to eating salads and obsessing about chin fat like before. Nothing wrong with that at least in my view, but there are different dynamics to being a feedee. I was just mentioning one.


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## JMNYC (Sep 13, 2008)

Why don't people post their salary, their PIN number, their address and where the money is in the house?

Because some will use the information to harm them. And so will people attack them, no matter what their view on any given subject including feederism. Where are the feedees? They exist. 

I've just finished reading a book about Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, who said his visit to the USA revolted him because the culture seemed to be ruled by the lowest common denominator, the most crass and base and classless and rude.

And this was in 1918!!! So one need not wonder why someone might not choose to reveal themselves. Who wants to be nibbled to death by a pack of ducks?


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Sep 13, 2008)

I know they exist. I just think it's strange that you don't hear about feedees as a general concept much in these forums.

It's also odd, considering that feedees can engage in their fetish without feeders, you don't see them discussed on their own. The word "feedee" is usually only used when your talking about feeders.

LillyBBW: alright. =/ I jus thave a strong sense of sexual inferiority sometimes, and when people say things bad about feeders in general I read that into bad things about all feeders everywhere, especially me.


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## LillyBBBW (Sep 15, 2008)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> I know they exist. I just think it's strange that you don't hear about feedees as a general concept much in these forums.
> 
> It's also odd, considering that feedees can engage in their fetish without feeders, you don't see them discussed on their own. The word "feedee" is usually only used when your talking about feeders.
> 
> LillyBBW: alright. =/ I jus thave a strong sense of sexual inferiority sometimes, and when people say things bad about feeders in general I read that into bad things about all feeders everywhere, especially me.



I've made attempts at posting feedee related stuff here but my threads here usually die a quick death. Ekim is way better at it than I am.


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## Rojodi (Sep 15, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> It doesn't necessarily have to be in that extreme. If a woman loves to wear high heels because they make her feel sexy and a guy likes a girl in high heels it works out. The fact that she can wear and enjoy them without him being present isn't necessarily a bad thing for either it's just when someone's behavior is out of control that it gets scary. The desires on their own are wonderful, it's just when guys forget to behave themselves and start grabbing willy nilly at your parts. It's really all about boundaries. It doesn't hurt to learn where they are. There no reason we can't all co exist.



Boundries have always been set, in my cases. Just because a woman professes to be a feedee, does NOT mean she's begging to be groped. It means that, to her, she wants to feel sexy, and to that end, she wants to be fed, plain and simple.


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## exile in thighville (Sep 15, 2008)

JMNYC said:


> Why don't people post their salary, their PIN number, their address and where the money is in the house?
> 
> Because some will use the information to harm them. And so will people attack them, no matter what their view on any given subject including feederism. Where are the feedees? They exist.
> 
> ...



what are you talking about?


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## BothGunsBlazing (Sep 15, 2008)

exile in thighville said:


> what are you talking about?



*You fool! 

You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ..*

Oh .. and I am going to go with the whole opinion that women don't reveal themselves in the whole feederism world because .. well, once you do, that is what the majority of idiotic men will then solely identify you as and they will then wish to act like you base your existence around it.

Feedees do definitely exist, more than one would think .. unless the girls who I've been involved with who acted like they were into it were only doing it to please me .. wait a second 

*drops to knees* I'M A MONSTER!!!^G^(&GG&*


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## LillyBBBW (Sep 15, 2008)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> *You fool!
> 
> You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ..*
> 
> ...



If you told her you had an elven fantasy and wanted to do it in a hollow log she'd exclaim, "OMG ME TOO!!" if you were hot and she wanted to get laid badly enough. Women aren't above being base to get what they want. But yeah, there's the 'nunya' factor. Women generally tend to be much more private about that kind of stuff and will share fantasies only with the person they are seeing. You're not a monster unless you aquire dates with a taser.


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## BothGunsBlazing (Sep 15, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> If you told her you had an elven fantasy and wanted to do it in a hollow log she'd exclaim, "OMG ME TOO!!" if you were hot and she wanted to get laid badly enough. Women aren't above being base to get what they want. But yeah, there's the 'nunya' factor. Women generally tend to be much more private about that kind of stuff and will share fantasies only with the person they are seeing. You're not a monster unless you aquire dates with a taser.



Right, if by telling her I had an elven fantasy and wanted to do it in a hollow log you actually mean I want you to get stuck in a hollow log trying to get the honey at the end of it like Winnie The Pooh and I, roleplaying Rabbit, just happen to be walking along and see you kicking your legs helplessly and want to teach you a lesson, then, by all means, we're in business. 

... 

oh yeah and you make a good point too!


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## LillyBBBW (Sep 15, 2008)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Right, if by telling her I had an elven fantasy and wanted to do it in a hollow log you actually mean I want you to get stuck in a hollow log trying to get the honey at the end of it like Winnie The Pooh and I, roleplaying Rabbit, just happen to be walking along and see you kicking your legs helplessly and want to teach you a lesson, then, by all means, we're in business.
> 
> ...
> 
> oh yeah and you make a good point too!



.........

OK. You've just increased your odds by 53% with that scenario. Good for you, bad for my analogy which proves you could probably talk your way into just about anything. Hmmm, maybe you ARE a monster.


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## Haunted (Sep 15, 2008)

I think also for the feedee they don't necessarily need a feeder to achieve the feeling, What i mean is a feedee could feed themselves where a feeder NEEDS a feedee in order to experience it. 

My girl always called herself a foodee she loved food she loved to eat (but she also loved the feeling of being full and stuffed) when she met me we started talking about erotic food play and we discovered together that i am a feeder and she is a feedee. 

I also recently started a thread about feeling guilty for obsessing over her size and eating. The fact is she eats what she wants, she is fat, I love her size, I love her appetite, I love how she loves me. 

The best way to really describe our relationship is I am an FA she is a SSBBW, she likes to eat, i like to see her eat, she loves her body, I love her body, She has found someone that she doesn't have to hide her overeating from, she doesn't have to worry about her weight with me. I found a Big Beautiful round squishy woman. i get excited when she pigs out, i get excited when she gains weight, i do encourage her a little her and there i do not push her to gain, i support her Aggressively so to speak LOL.

Also some feedee's may not think of themselves a feedee without actually having a feeder, I'm sure many of the feeder's have significant others that aren't interested in being fed and vice versa.


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## LJ Rock (Sep 15, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


>



_chloroform???_ ha, all these years I've been using _colorforms! _


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## Les Toil (Sep 15, 2008)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> The point is, all of these perspectives seem to act more or less as if feedees didn't exist.
> 
> Erotic Weight Gain, Weight Board, Dimensions, and SA community at large, I beg of you,
> Where's the feedee?



I know this is going to sound pretty sobering but maybe the number of existing feedees is diminishing for the sole reason that the health problems that come with weight gain are outweighing the erotic positives. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out a BBW or SSBBW with any particular body pains or issues isn't going to want to compound those problems by satisfying their lover's fantasies or the fantasies of complete strangers on the net--or even their own erotic desires. 

I'm also assuming most of the dudes here that see pics or videos on the Paysite Board of women consuming entire roasts or chickens in one sitting realize they're not consuming in such volume outside of a photo/video shoot. I'm thinking the tide has changed in the direction of women placing their physical well-being before others erotic desires.


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## LillyBBBW (Sep 15, 2008)

Les Toil said:


> I know this is going to sound pretty sobering but maybe the number of existing feedees is diminishing for the sole reason that the health problems that come with weight gain are outweighing the erotic positives. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out a BBW or SSBBW with any particular body pains or issues isn't going to want to compound those problems by satisfying their lover's fantasies or the fantasies of complete strangers on the net--or even their own erotic desires.
> 
> I'm also assuming most of the dudes here that see pics or videos on the Paysite Board of women consuming entire roasts or chickens in one sitting realize they're not consuming in such volume outside of a photo/video shoot. I'm thinking the tide has changed in the direction of women placing their physical well-being before others erotic desires.



No. Becoming ill does not make ones desires go away. One may not actively participate in feeding due to health concerns but the desires still exist and always will.


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## olwen (Sep 15, 2008)

CuslonGodibb said:


> Fuzzy Necromancer - I've never thought of it in this way before, but sure, you have a good point. I, too, would prefer "feedism" to "feederism". Your alternative - "feedism" - just feels more inclusive, whereas "feederism" sort of excludes the feedee. Thanks for making me notice!
> 
> / CuslonGodibb



I like that too. Feedism seems more all encompasing.



edx said:


> ..... But it seems to me that in general guys are more willing to come forward about these feelings than are women, whether because there are more guys who feel this way, or they are just more open about it, I don't know.
> 
> -Ed
> 
> ** This is the internet, so of course not 100% sure of the 'woman' thing, but in both cases I think it probable, and at any rate they were people who fantasized about being a feedee woman.





exile in thighville said:


> Oh yeah, I'm certainly not saying all fetishes are male-created, just that it's more common for men to be the catalyst for making women do Weird Stuff. I think we're more likely to talk about it too, which is only saying that girls are less likely to put themselves at risk to be judged, which is what this thread's about, I realize while typing this sentence.




I think that has a lot to do with it. Men are just catered to sexually (in all aspects of society both eastern and western) in a way that women are not. Then there is the added onus on the woman to prove her virtue, which can set up "moral" conflicts. To repress or not to repress.

I agree about it being more common for men to be the catalyst. I'd say it also goes to a sense of male entitlement. Whether or not a man expects a woman to cater to his fantasies, I'm certain there is a part of every guy who would be hella pissed/frustrated if their needs weren't met and who would go to great lengths to get what they want. That's been my experience anyway. For example, in my fetish world I am often approached by married men and when I ask about it they just say their wives don't give them what they want and they married them knowing this. It's begun to make me very wary of the men who approach me now.



Rebecca said:


> I haven't noticed the lack of "feedees" but then again, I am a feedee and such mention probably stands out to me. It seems, to me, like everyone has something to say about feedees. That we're victims. That we're always submissive...or I should say passive...in the role. That we're brainwashed. That we LET ourselves be abused. That when we are women, we can't be feminists too because somehow the two roles have become mutually exclusive....



I hadn't noticed a lack of feedees, but then I wasn't exactly looking for it either. I just assumed they *must* be there. I suppose we all see what we choose to see.

People who don't understand BDSM say the same things about female submissives. Somehow you can't be a feminist and a sub...utter bullshit. It would seem to me that many would think any woman with a fetish is somehow broken for having it. It's a shame that we as a society just haven't been able to get past this idea that a woman can choose her own sexual fantasies and identities all by herself. 




Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> Well, it makes me feel a little creepy and relationally lopsided. All that stuff about intimidating feeders and feeders swamping new feedees with requests or obsessing about feeding, and the fact that feeders need feedees to be fulfilled but feedees don't need feeders. Everybody likes to feel wanted/needed. =/



Fuzzy, you can't be worried about this stuff. Do what you do. Every feedee will have a slightly different take on it. As will many feeders. Lilly is just one person. I'm sure that if you just hang on to what you like, a person will come along who matches you, and even then as the relationship progresses and your experience level increases you may find that the aspects that drew you in no longer interest you. That's certainly happened to me with BDSM. Some things I never thought I'd ever do now intrigue and excite me. Anyhow, I've dipped my toes into that vat of ice cream and found it lacking without a feeder. I also discovered I really needed it to be wrapped up in an D/s context. Without that context I was just having a piece of ordinary cake. Eh. Now that I am without a Dom, it's just something I'm not interested in. When I get a new one, we'll see. 




Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> I know they exist. I just think it's strange that you don't hear about feedees as a general concept much in these forums.
> 
> It's also odd, considering that feedees can engage in their fetish without feeders, you don't see them discussed on their own. The word "feedee" is usually only used when your talking about feeders.
> 
> LillyBBW: alright. =/ I jus thave a strong sense of sexual inferiority sometimes, and when people say things bad about feeders in general I read that into bad things about all feeders everywhere, especially me.



Do consider that the sexual nature of this site attracts random silent lurking male FAs - as do many internet sites with sexual content. It's just bound to draw more feeders than feedees. Rather more men interested in discussing their sexual needs and desires (read sexual birthright). 

FYI, people say all kinds of bad things about people who are into SM. I just have to laugh at the sterotypes. Clearly the things they say are based at the least on plain stupidity and at best on a lack of intellectual curiosity. I can't worry about that stuff....I do understand wanting to not hear such negative mierda, but you know it will be so with any fetish. All you can do for the sake of your own sanity is just shrug it off till it comes times to HAVE to defend yourself if something like your job is on the line or child services comes knocking on your door.



Les Toil said:


> I know this is going to sound pretty sobering but maybe the number of existing feedees is diminishing for the sole reason that the health problems that come with weight gain are outweighing the erotic positives. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out a BBW or SSBBW with any particular body pains or issues isn't going to want to compound those problems by satisfying their lover's fantasies or the fantasies of complete strangers on the net--or even their own erotic desires.
> 
> I'm also assuming most of the dudes here that see pics or videos on the Paysite Board of women consuming entire roasts or chickens in one sitting realize they're not consuming in such volume outside of a photo/video shoot. I'm thinking the tide has changed in the direction of women placing their physical well-being before others erotic desires.



I think it's just that the feedees are outnumbered. And as Lilly stated, illnesses or experiences or feelings of guilt or addiction or whatever just don't make your desires go away.


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## Les Toil (Sep 15, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> No. Becoming ill does not make ones desires go away. One may not actively participate in feeding due to health concerns but the desires still exist and always will.



I agree. After I gave up smoking, my desire to smoke never disappeared. I still knew what was best for my body and continued to stay away from cigarettes. I'm just thinking that women who imbide in feederism are now weighing the pros and cons of what it's doing to their bodies. And I'm still convinced it's the attention and the praises the feedees get from feeders that are the addictive factors. The erotic desires are mainly what the feeders are experiencing. 

I've ALWAYS wanted to see the tables turn and see the feeder suddenly become the feedee. That strikes me as a VERY fair and loving relationship.


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## olwen (Sep 15, 2008)

Les Toil said:


> I agree. After I gave up smoking, my desire to smoke never disappeared. I still knew what was best for my body and continued to stay away from cigarettes. I'm just thinking that women who imbide in feederism are now weighing the pros and cons of what it's doing to their bodies. And I'm still convinced it's the attention and the praises the feedees get from feeders that are the addictive factors. The erotic desires are mainly what the feeders are experiencing.
> 
> I've ALWAYS wanted to see the tables turn and see the feeder suddenly become the feedee. That strikes me as a VERY fair and loving relationship.



...well there ya go saying the feedees don't have desires of their own origins....what's up with that Les? There is a difference between faking a desire and a willingness to please your partner. Please don't confuse the two.


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## LillyBBBW (Sep 16, 2008)

Les Toil said:


> I agree. After I gave up smoking, my desire to smoke never disappeared. I still knew what was best for my body and continued to stay away from cigarettes. I'm just thinking that women who imbide in feederism are now weighing the pros and cons of what it's doing to their bodies. And I'm still convinced it's the attention and the praises the feedees get from feeders that are the addictive factors. The erotic desires are mainly what the feeders are experiencing.
> 
> I've ALWAYS wanted to see the tables turn and see the feeder suddenly become the feedee. That strikes me as a VERY fair and loving relationship.



Smoking is an addiction, being a feedee is not. Basically what you have with a feedee is an FA only the desire is directed towards one's self. Not only do we enjoy the feel of fullness but the look as well, the more the better. A feedee cannot deny his/her desires any more than you can deny your desires for fat or deny your artistic leanings. Blindness, impotence and degenerative arthritis of the hands may stop you in your tracks but it won't affect your head. You seem convinced that feedees are merely shills at the whims of a wo/man's desire but that is not always the case. Contrary to common belief every thing a man or a woman does is not adopted as a means to attract a mate. The fact that it does is merely a bonus -- or a curse, depending on how you look at it. In any event, my being fat and enjoying being stuffed has nothing to do with any of the men here. This was the case long before I was even aware of the existence of FA's/feeders or could complete whole sentences. I'm sure there are people with harrowing tales of trying to adapt to someone else's fancy but they don't speak for the rest of us.


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## activistfatgirl (Sep 16, 2008)

Les Toil said:


> And I'm still convinced it's the attention and the praises the feedees get from feeders that are the addictive factors. The erotic desires are mainly what the feeders are experiencing.



I completely disagree. You're convinced of this by what? Your own convictions? Have you talked to someone that's oriented as a feedee? Had a friend? Been involved with someone? 

Not to be harsh, but this sounds 1. very typical rhetoric about the fetish and 2. like you really don't know what you're talking about.

The opposite is actually happening for some feedee-oriented women. Just this week I totally lied about it because I don't want attention from feeders. HA HA, I'm the one that wins, and the desire is STILL HERE even if NO ONE is encouraging it.


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## Tad (Sep 16, 2008)

activistfatgirl said:


> I completely disagree. You're convinced of this by what? Your own convictions? Have you talked to someone that's oriented as a feedee? Had a friend? Been involved with someone?
> 
> Not to be harsh, but this sounds 1. very typical rhetoric about the fetish and 2. like you really don't know what you're talking about.
> 
> The opposite is actually happening for some feedee-oriented women. Just this week I totally lied about it because I don't want attention from feeders. HA HA, I'm the one that wins, and the desire is STILL HERE even if NO ONE is encouraging it.



I'm in agreement with AFG's startlement about that, Les. Not from a female point of view for me obviously, and I've never really practiced either way to any significant degree, but.....erotic desire is real for me on both sides of the feedism coin, and I'm pretty sure the feedee side has the more intense erotic feelings. *shrug* 

Also I've talked with way too many women who have enjoyed feeding themselves to think it is only something they do because of encouragement. Some of them have gained more with net encouragement, but a lot had gained a lot already on their own.


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## Ample Pie (Sep 17, 2008)

For me and me alone: 

1. The role of the feeder (not to mention the feeder him/herself) is very important for me. Sure, sure, I can eat and even stuff on my own and it's pleasurable, but it isn't the same as sharing it. I could never count out a feeder in the equation. However, I don't think one side of the fetish needs the other in order to be justified--fulfilled maybe, but not justified.

2. Weight gain can't always be a reality, sometimes it has to be fantasy. I can't make my body lose weight and I can't make it gain...I mean at any given moment. I can do the things that cause weight loss and/or weight gain and hope it goes well, but sometimes it does the exact opposite. No idea why. So...I take it for granted that sometimes the gain will only be a fantasy and learn to love it when it's a reality.

3. I don't get off on the attention. Attention paid by someone I care about is nice, but I _get off_ on the intimacy of eating, on limit/boundary pushing, on decadence, on being stuffed and feeling a food high, and on the weight gain itself--not just the way my body changes, but on my sheer size. 

And, Fuzzy, every relationship is give and take; it isn't a situation that's reserved only for feeders/feedees. Don't beat yourself up too much over your desires...not everyone you share them with will feel like the victim of them and you aren't hurting anyone anyway.


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## Sirkaril (Sep 17, 2008)

I'll comment here, because hey why not.

Fuzzy - Take it from me, feeders are like anyone else, some good and some bad. The good ones just need to be a bit more vocal usually. As for finding feedees, I've dated a girl who was a feedee (two if you count one who just came out about it) so they are not hard to find, Rebecca said she was one (sorry to use you as an example, new here so using what resources I have). I have noticed that some women tend to be shy about it, as some bad stories do come out about feeders. But trust me, you'll find a girl who shares your interests someday, just be patient my friend.


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## Ample Pie (Sep 17, 2008)

Fuzzy knows I'm a feedee 

And, I'm sorry if I got this wrong, but I was thinking he was saying not that we don't exist at all but that we're often invisible--either because we don't wear feedee buttons or because people gloss over our role or because the feeder's role is seen as dominant and more important.

dude, I totally want a feedee button.

*off to make some flair*


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## Sirkaril (Sep 17, 2008)

I can forsee a new brand of items now, feedee items like shirts, buttons etc, makes me chuckle heh.


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## Ample Pie (Sep 17, 2008)

While I was making the buttons, I did a Google image search for the term "feedee" and my photo showed up on the 2nd page. Neato.


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## Sirkaril (Sep 17, 2008)

Your an internet celebrity, rock on.


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## MaxArden (Sep 18, 2008)

*cautiously puts hand up* Male Feedee...


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## LillyBBBW (Sep 18, 2008)

Rebecca said:


> While I was making the buttons, I did a Google image search for the term "feedee" and my photo showed up on the 2nd page. Neato.



I love the purple one!


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## Reggiano (Sep 18, 2008)

...and I'll push yours. 

View attachment overhang.JPG


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## Ample Pie (Sep 18, 2008)

Thanks Lilly.

turnabout being fair play and all:


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## Reggiano (Sep 19, 2008)

...you chose your apartment because it was close to your favorite bakery.

...you eat all the ice cream anytime there's a hurricane in Cuba, in case the power goes out in your neighborhood too. 

...in high school, you made a game out of trying to make your weight equal the square of your age.

...you really have taken candy from a baby.


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## Mack27 (Oct 3, 2008)

I wonder if anybody would go for a travelling freelance feeder working on a pro bono basis?


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## Ichida (Oct 7, 2008)

There seems to be a bit of a termonology ambiguity in Feeders and Feedees.

There seems to be an indication the feeder is usually male, dominant, and out to make the woman fat.

I am an FFA - and I love to see my man get chubbier off my cooking. I also love feeding him - that doesn't mean it has to be to the point where he gains. It doesn't matter if he guides the fork to his mouth or if I do it, if he is still eating an average sized meal. Or we eat dinner and i feed him desert - which he would have had anyway. Once in a blue moon overfeeding him is involved - but it is sensual, mutual, and not dominant.

Some hard core feeders tell me then I am an encourager - and encouragers tell me I am not one of them.

So what does that make us ladies and gents who love the bigger boys and gals, who care about their health and welfare, love cooking and feeding but are not in extremes?

More outcasts than the people that are really into it, I have noticed - or at least felt that way. I know just as many feedees as feeders - and many people proclaim to be both - for the right person.


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Oct 7, 2008)

"There seems to be an indication the feeder is usually male, dominant, and out to make the woman fat"

Indication, or implication?


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## LillyBBBW (Oct 8, 2008)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> "There seems to be an indication the feeder is usually male, dominant, and out to make the woman fat"
> 
> Indication, or implication?



I would say indication. 90-95% of the time when the terminology is used, specifically in this forum, the poster is clearly referring to male feeder/female feedee. I would not go so far as to call it a faux pas simply because this is the predominant dynamic here. FFA's who are feeders of any degree aren't heard from that much if at all here. I don't see much feeder talk in the BHM forum either. Don't know why that is.

I personally don't feel inclined to paste a sign on someone's forehead that proclaims them 'feeder/feedee' because they go all the way or to rudely rip it off if they do not like C and E on the list. It seems very silly to me. Those terms should not be a tell all description that defines a human being anyway. There are aspects and degrees of feederism that some people embrace and some don't but it's still the same, at least it is to me. Do we really need to have levels and complex terminologies? I kinda prefer the blanket term of feeder than an entire scope of terms. The particulars are important only on a curious level or to see if someone shares the same degree of interest. But if you're a man or a woman and you only like A, B, D and F under the feeder label I don't think it means anything.


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## MissToodles (Oct 8, 2008)

I don't think women are into the 'sex as hobby' thing as much as men. When women do have kinks, it doesn't become an obsession for most and have a much healthier relationship with their sexuality. Anyway, hence the overabundance of men on these boards. I also think most people who claim to want to gain weight have eating disorders and since compulsive overeating/gaining weight is so stigmatized, they welcome any positive attention to ease their pain. It also gives them a leg up on gaining attention when male fa's have this "thing" and are considered a commodity.


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## Tooz (Oct 8, 2008)

MissToodles said:


> ...When women do have kinks, it doesn't become an obsession for most and have a much healthier relationship with their sexuality. [...] I also think most people who claim to want to gain weight have eating disorders and since compulsive overeating/gaining weight is so stigmatized, they welcome any positive attention to ease their pain.



Wow.
I have to disagree here. For women, it can be an obsession just as much as for men, but perhaps the way in which it is expressed is different. Also, it may not be as much of an obsession for the men that we think it is. The way a person expresses their ideas, feelings and attractions can make a huge difference (CAPTAIN OBVIOUS IN THE HIZZY), so I think saying this could be dangerous.

Second, tying eating disorders to wanting to gain weight offends me. You are essentially blanketing a group of people under something loosely related without having any way of truly knowing. If weight gain is a fetish, why can't a feedee have it? Are only feeders capable of appreciating weight gain? As soon as a feedee wants to, suddenly, it's an eating disorder? :\


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## BothGunsBlazing (Oct 8, 2008)

MissToodles said:


> I don't think women are into the 'sex as hobby' thing as much as men. When women do have kinks, it doesn't become an obsession for most and have a much healthier relationship with their sexuality. Anyway, hence the overabundance of men on these boards. I also think most people who claim to want to gain weight have eating disorders and since compulsive overeating/gaining weight is so stigmatized, they welcome any positive attention to ease their pain. It also gives them a leg up on gaining attention when male fa's have this "thing" and are considered a commodity.



Okay, taking out feederism from the equation altogether. I think most on the outside world looking in would say this whole size acceptance movement is justification for an eating disorder and therefore unhealthy and should be discouraged as much as possible.

Some people do actually enjoy their size and the idea of gaining weight. Many of the women I've spoken to about it are also very conflicted in their desires. It's just not as simple as blame all them crazy men with their insatiable fatty lust issues.


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## LillyBBBW (Oct 8, 2008)

MissToodles said:


> I don't think women are into the 'sex as hobby' thing as much as men. When women do have kinks, it doesn't become an obsession for most and have a much healthier relationship with their sexuality. Anyway, hence the overabundance of men on these boards. I also think most people who claim to want to gain weight have eating disorders and since compulsive overeating/gaining weight is so stigmatized, they welcome any positive attention to ease their pain. It also gives them a leg up on gaining attention when male fa's have this "thing" and are considered a commodity.



I wouldn't say that. An awful lot of women like to hang around and participate on this board too, present company included. Sex as a hobby comes in many forms. Female feeders specifically seem to be in short supply here but there is no shortage of interest here on the part of women in general. Also bear in mind that the majority of feedees aren't fat at all. That part of the broader issue can get lost on a fat acceptance board. Being fat may be merely incidental or a lucky break depending on how you look at it.


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## Ho Ho Tai (Oct 8, 2008)

Do you know who supposedly wrote this? (Answer below.)

"I will kiss you quite red and feed you till you are plump. And if you are forward you shall see who is the stronger, a little girl who doesn't eat enough or a big strong man with cocaine in his body. In my last serious depression I took cocaine again and a small dose lifted me to the heights in a wonderful fashion. I am just now collecting the literature for a song of praise to this magical substance."
.
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.Sigmund Freud, in a note to his fiancee, Martha Bernays.


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## LillyBBBW (Oct 8, 2008)

Ho Ho Tai said:


> Do you know who supposedly wrote this? (Answer below.)
> 
> "I will kiss you quite red and feed you till you are plump. And if you are forward you shall see who is the stronger, a little girl who doesn't eat enough or a big strong man with cocaine in his body. In my last serious depression I took cocaine again and a small dose lifted me to the heights in a wonderful fashion. I am just now collecting the literature for a song of praise to this magical substance."
> .
> ...



Heh, I was going to guess Hector Berlioz.


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## MissToodles (Oct 8, 2008)

I realize I probably shouldn't post in a forum which I really don't agree with and makes me apoplectic. I have had this discussion with other women and of course, it's based on conjecture seeing the same patterns repeated over and over. Mostly (very) young women who claim they are purposely gaining weight with their equally young boyfriend. Once the relationship is over, the girl proclaims she wants her life back and goes on a diet.

Again, I had periods where I binged, especially in my late teens/early twenties. So, I suppose these things make me cringe a lot. I'm not saying women aren't capable of an autonomous sexuality--in fact, I don't think twice about women who are into the bdsm scene. I guess this one hits home much more.


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## Tooz (Oct 8, 2008)

Well, there _are_ those who have the desire, single or not. I am not sure I like the implications about age, either...


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## AlethaBBW (Oct 8, 2008)

Tooz said:


> Well, there _are_ those who have the desire, single or not.



I have the desire. I'm nearly 35, so youth plays no role in it. My eating is not in the least bit disordered - I'm diabetic and on insulin, so I have to think about everything I put in my mouth.

Do I still long for the experience? Yes. Do I have someone to share it with? I wish. I'm single, so these desires have nothing to do with pleasing a partner. It's just part of who I am, and doesn't go away despite health considerations and lack of a relationship.

That's my context...I'm sure there are many others.


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## Ruby Ripples (Oct 8, 2008)

Les Toil said:


> I agree. After I gave up smoking, my desire to smoke never disappeared. I still knew what was best for my body and continued to stay away from cigarettes. I'm just thinking that women who imbide in feederism are now weighing the pros and cons of what it's doing to their bodies. And I'm still convinced it's the attention and the praises the feedees get from feeders that are the addictive factors. The erotic desires are mainly what the feeders are experiencing.
> 
> I've ALWAYS wanted to see the tables turn and see the feeder suddenly become the feedee. That strikes me as a VERY fair and loving relationship.



On a feederism site that I visit, you might be interested to know that most of the feedees are slim or just slightly plump. Over a wide age range. Do you know that one can be a feedee yet stay within a certain weight range? Or actually never gain weight? A person can indulge in a sensual feeding session with a partner once a week, and never gain weight, they're still a feedee though, if they have the desires. Do you know that a feedee is not necessarily a gainer and a gainer is most often not a feedee? 

I disagree even more with your comment about the feedee doing it for the attention and praise of a feeder. 

On both your main points there, people of all shapes and sizes and mindsets are involved in this, but yet again the media hyped "evil dominant male feeder with immobile imprisoned female feedee" scenario would appear to be the way you view it too. Im surprised, no, shocked actually.

Your last comment, one question - why?


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## activistfatgirl (Oct 8, 2008)

Right on, Ruby.

MissToodles, I'd never say some of those dynamics aren't present in the community. I believe that this is one of the few places on the planet someone with these desires (both receiving and giving) could be challenged to think about personal and social ramifications of the act and the desire. However, we can never get to that place with all the folks throwing out blanket generalizations about it based on their own personal worldviews or very personal experiences.

So, what we've learned here is that feedees are doing it for the attention of feeders or because of disordered eating? Again, I'll never say this isn't true for some, and let's be a SPACE WHERE WE CAN CHALLENGE AND DISCUSS THIS.

Personally, I'm so exhausted proving the ole "feedee" credentials. I grew up without hte computer. My very first sexual fantasy was of gaining, with feeding involved. Point blank. I hadn't seen a SINGLE image making me think this was even...possible. No TV image, no radio ad, hadn't even been online yet. 

I feel like I need a goddamn card proving this shit. We exist. And we're not all figments of some gross feeders' mind, nor of the media, nor a bastard step-child of the sa movement, nor all binge eaters looking for an excuse.


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Oct 8, 2008)

Ruby Ripples said:


> yet again the media hyped "evil dominant male feeder with immobile imprisoned female feedee" scenario would appear to be the way you view it too.



An adroit summary. You seem to have gotten at the heart of the matter, and why discussions of this topic have such cyclical tendencies.

ActivistFatGirl, I'm glad to hear that. =o

*takes blurry picture of you and makes cast of your footprint, puts up "Evidence that Feedees Exist" sign next to said items*


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## Ample Pie (Oct 8, 2008)

I had to grow into my feedee tendencies, no pun intended. I didn't understand the feelings I got when I watched my fat girlfriend climb the stairs naked that first time way back in high school and I FOUGHT them years later when I watched lovely fat women come through my line at the grocery where I worked. I couldn't believe I really felt those things, because...fat is wrong in this society. So I didn't get it and I denied it. But it's always been there, when I think about it. Always always always. Because I love the fat form. And I realllllllllllllllllllllllllllly really love the idea of being bigger than I am--even if it isn't something I can safely do and it has to stay fantasy, EVEN IF IT'S SOMETHING I HAVE TO ENJOY WITHOUT THE ATTENTION OF MEN (shock and swoon), it's something I like. It's something that gets me off. Period.


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Oct 8, 2008)

^ The above poster is a real feedee and, contrary to popular wisdom and much evidence, not merely a sexual fantasy of mine given a personality by schizophrenia.

You should listen to what she says.


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## Ample Pie (Oct 8, 2008)

*can't safely do


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## Haunted (Oct 8, 2008)

Rebecca said:


> I had to grow into my feedee tendencies, no pun intended. I didn't understand the feelings I got when I watched my fat girlfriend climb the stairs naked that first time way back in high school and I FOUGHT them years later when I watched lovely fat women come through my line at the grocery where I worked. I couldn't believe I really felt those things, because...fat is wrong in this society. So I didn't get it and I denied it. But it's always been there, when I think about it. Always always always. Because I love the fat form. And I realllllllllllllllllllllllllllly really love the idea of being bigger than I am--even if it isn't something I can safely do and it has to stay fantasy, EVEN IF IT'S SOMETHING I HAVE TO ENJOY WITHOUT THE ATTENTION OF MEN (shock and swoon), it's something I like. It's something that gets me off. Period.



My experience as an Fa and Feeder almost echo yours exactly. I remember being fascinated by very large woman and not understanding why. one in particular was so large that she used to almost kick her tummy from side to side as she walked cause it Hung so low. 

I was also always very interested in the scene in National Lampoons European Vacation when the daughter Audrey dreams about eating vast amounts while in paris and she starts to grow before your eyes the effect was campy and cheesy but the idea brought up all kinds of feelings i couldn't explain !!

And to be honest i'm discovering i'm more of a passive feeder I have fantasies of force feeding my feedee, but i usually end up just getting her What ever she wants and encouraging her to enjoy herself and to not hold back. She is definitely a feedee i don't have to force anything on her i just help her fill her desires and in exchange i get to help FEED HER desires lol.

So yes Not all feedees are forced and not all feeders are overbearing control freaks!


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## MissToodles (Oct 9, 2008)

Rebecca said:


> I had to grow into my feedee tendencies, no pun intended. I didn't understand the feelings I got when I watched my fat girlfriend climb the stairs naked that first time way back in high school and I FOUGHT them years later when I watched lovely fat women come through my line at the grocery where I worked. I couldn't believe I really felt those things, because...fat is wrong in this society. So I didn't get it and I denied it. But it's always been there, when I think about it. Always always always. Because I love the fat form. And I realllllllllllllllllllllllllllly really love the idea of being bigger than I am--even if it isn't something I can safely do and it has to stay fantasy, EVEN IF IT'S SOMETHING I HAVE TO ENJOY WITHOUT THE ATTENTION OF MEN (shock and swoon), it's something I like. It's something that gets me off. Period.



I've been to other websites out of curiosity. I couldn't find these abundance of women at other sites. Just makes me a lil' suspicious that a feeder oriented website can't attract women and it's still an overwhelming majority of men, you know? Listen, I'll support you in whatever you want to do. Just be safe. I just feel if women were really into it, they would flock to other sites. Just saying. People can believe in what they want. Obviously you exist, right? 
As for the age thing, brought it up just because I engaged in unhealthy/unsafe behaviors when I was much younger. They didn't have anything to do with weight gain, just younger folk tend to be impulsive and don't think things through. I've worked with teenagers, I know what I speak of in that regard. Also, don't see how people cannot bring up this conversation without the personal, as it deals with their feelings on the topic. 

Do you also know people can binge eat without gaining weight? Possible as well! 

Okay, I've wasted my life and I know I'm going to get some type of warning. I need to leave this discussion, as I'm way too invested in something that really doesn't have any bearing on my personal life. "Oh, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet."


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## LillyBBBW (Oct 9, 2008)

MissToodles said:


> I've been to other websites out of curiosity. I couldn't find these abundance of women at other sites. Just makes me a lil' suspicious that a feeder oriented website can't attract women and it's still an overwhelming majority of men, you know? Listen, I'll support you in whatever you want to do. Just be safe. I just feel if women were really into it, they would flock to other sites. Just saying. People can believe in what they want. Obviously you exist, right?
> As for the age thing, brought it up just because I engaged in unhealthy/unsafe behaviors when I was much younger. They didn't have anything to do with weight gain, just younger folk tend to be impulsive and don't think things through. I've worked with teenagers, I know what I speak of in that regard. Also, don't see how people cannot bring up this conversation without the personal, as it deals with their feelings on the topic.
> 
> Do you also know people can binge eat without gaining weight? Possible as well!
> ...



Possibly the reason women don't post is due to the unshakable sensation that nosey neighbors are cloaked and sniffing our underwear as a learning exercise.


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Oct 9, 2008)

MissToodles said:


> I've been to other websites out of curiosity. I couldn't find these abundance of women at other sites. Just makes me a lil' suspicious that a feeder oriented website can't attract women and it's still an overwhelming majority of men, you know? Listen, I'll support you in whatever you want to do. Just be safe. I just feel if women were really into it, they would flock to other sites. Just saying. People can believe in what they want. Obviously you exist, right?
> As for the age thing, brought it up just because I engaged in unhealthy/unsafe behaviors when I was much younger. They didn't have anything to do with weight gain, just younger folk tend to be impulsive and don't think things through. I've worked with teenagers, I know what I speak of in that regard. Also, don't see how people cannot bring up this conversation without the personal, as it deals with their feelings on the topic.
> 
> Do you also know people can binge eat without gaining weight? Possible as well!
> ...




Which sites?

I've found places such as fantasy feeder tend to have a more or less equal mix of women and men, but individual experience can vary greatly. 

I further think that a lack of women isn't necisarily a sign that they don't feel safe or women feedees don't really have a desire to gain weight. There are any number of factors, such as the general greater (percieved) presence of men on teh internet. It could be that the more immatrue guys, like guys on many non-FA forums, pester women for pix, and hence they are hard to come by.


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## Ample Pie (Oct 9, 2008)

MissToodles said:


> I've been to other websites out of curiosity. I couldn't find these abundance of women at other sites. Just makes me a lil' suspicious that a feeder oriented website can't attract women and it's still an overwhelming majority of men, you know? Listen, I'll support you in whatever you want to do. Just be safe. I just feel if women were really into it, they would flock to other sites. Just saying. People can believe in what they want. Obviously you exist, right?
> As for the age thing, brought it up just because I engaged in unhealthy/unsafe behaviors when I was much younger. They didn't have anything to do with weight gain, just younger folk tend to be impulsive and don't think things through. I've worked with teenagers, I know what I speak of in that regard. Also, don't see how people cannot bring up this conversation without the personal, as it deals with their feelings on the topic.
> 
> Do you also know people can binge eat without gaining weight? Possible as well!
> ...




Do not talk to me like I am stupid. Of course I know people binge without gaining weight, you are not the only fat girl in the room who has experienced the vagaries of weight gain...please take note that I included a line about the fact that sometimes the WG is only a fantasy anyway.


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## Ample Pie (Oct 9, 2008)

also, to quote the guidelines for this forum, since no one else seems to be up to it:



> This forum is for use by those interested in all areas of weight gain, feeding and topics directly related to those things. The forum is for positive contributions and participation. In other words, if you have nothing good to say about a topic, or constructive/related pro-topic conversation to add, then you should not be posting and any such posts will be removed or edited as appropriate


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## marlowegarp (Oct 9, 2008)

Just wanted to say that I love this thread. I love it because it has actual intelligent, well-reasoned points by the various posters and because basically every one of Rebecca's posts is turning me on. 

For the record, I guess I major in FA and have taken a couple courses at Feeder U.


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Oct 9, 2008)

Thanks Rebecca.

I'm beginning to think we should add that to the first post of every thread here, just to reenforce the point.


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## Tooz (Oct 9, 2008)

marlowegarp said:


> Just wanted to say that I love this thread. I love it because it has actual intelligent, well-reasoned points by the various posters and because basically every one of Rebecca's posts is turning me on.
> 
> For the record, I guess I major in FA and have taken a couple courses at Feeder U.





Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> Thanks Rebecca.
> 
> I'm beginning to think we should add that to the first post of every thread here, just to reenforce the point.



Someone should make Rebecca t-shirts.


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## troubadours (Oct 10, 2008)

i read the first couple posts and i'm pretty drunk right now so sorry if irrelevant.

i'm a feedee (omg,duh) and i'm pretty like.. well, no, i don't come right out and say "OMG GUYZ, I LIKE 2 GAIN WEIGHT" to all my friends (my best friend knows) but i'm pretty like...open, i guess, with the fact that i like to eat...and a lot. i'm kinda subtle, but i do things like own a cupcake candle or stuffed hamburger while i talk about how much i love food. i dunno. the other day my (male) friend who dates a thin girl told me i was a "pretty fat" and i told him idc because i like my body. 

anyway sorry if this is irrelevant i'm just drunk and everyone else went to sleep


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## furious styles (Oct 10, 2008)

troubadours said:


> i read the first couple posts and i'm pretty drunk right now so sorry if irrelevant.
> 
> i'm a feedee (omg,duh) and i'm pretty like.. well, no, i don't come right out and say "OMG GUYZ, I LIKE 2 GAIN WEIGHT" to all my friends (my best friend knows) but i'm pretty like...open, i guess, with the fact that i like to eat...and a lot. i'm kinda subtle, but i do things like own a cupcake candle or stuffed hamburger while i talk about how much i love food. i dunno. the other day my (male) friend who dates a thin girl told me i was a "pretty fat" and i told him idc because i like my body.
> 
> anyway sorry if this is irrelevant i'm just drunk and everyone else went to sleep



hahaha. i love drunk posting.


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## troubadours (Oct 10, 2008)

mfdoom said:


> hahaha. i love drunk posting.



lmao idont know what im talking about


OWNED

ps. you, your gf, me, my boyf, double date O.K.


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## Shosh (Oct 10, 2008)

troubadours said:


> i read the first couple posts and i'm pretty drunk right now so sorry if irrelevant.
> 
> i'm a feedee (omg,duh) and i'm pretty like.. well, no, i don't come right out and say "OMG GUYZ, I LIKE 2 GAIN WEIGHT" to all my friends (my best friend knows) but i'm pretty like...open, i guess, with the fact that i like to eat...and a lot. i'm kinda subtle, but i do things like own a cupcake candle or stuffed hamburger while i talk about how much i love food. i dunno. the other day my (male) friend who dates a thin girl told me i was a "pretty fat" and i told him idc because i like my body.
> 
> anyway sorry if this is irrelevant i'm just drunk and everyone else went to sleep



Keep drinking. The alcohol will stack on the weight.


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## troubadours (Oct 10, 2008)

Susannah said:


> Keep drinking. The alcohol will stack on the weight.



LOL!!! shosh are you trying to fatten me DISPICABLE FEEDER!!!! jk hahahahahah


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## furious styles (Oct 10, 2008)

troubadours said:


> ps. you, your gf, me, my boyf, double date O.K.



ok let's do this 

LEEEROOOOOOOYYYYY-


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## troubadours (Oct 10, 2008)

mfdoom said:


> ok let's do this
> 
> LEEEROOOOOOOYYYYY-



bruce leroy as in the last dragon??


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## Shosh (Oct 10, 2008)

troubadours said:


> LOL!!! shosh are you trying to fatten me DISPICABLE FEEDER!!!! jk hahahahahah



Supersize me! With alcohol.


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## troubadours (Oct 10, 2008)

Susannah said:


> Supersize me! With alcohol.



mY biggest Fantasy is to be Immboile ASupon the Filling of Alcohol.


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## QueenB (Oct 10, 2008)

troubadours said:


> ps. you, your gf, me, my boyf, double date O.K.




yesssssssss


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## olwen (Oct 10, 2008)

MissToodles said:


> I've been to other websites out of curiosity. I couldn't find these abundance of women at other sites. Just makes me a lil' suspicious that a feeder oriented website can't attract women and it's still an overwhelming majority of men, you know? Listen, I'll support you in whatever you want to do. Just be safe. I just feel if women were really into it, they would flock to other sites. Just saying. People can believe in what they want. Obviously you exist, right?
> As for the age thing, brought it up just because I engaged in unhealthy/unsafe behaviors when I was much younger. They didn't have anything to do with weight gain, just younger folk tend to be impulsive and don't think things through. I've worked with teenagers, I know what I speak of in that regard. Also, don't see how people cannot bring up this conversation without the personal, as it deals with their feelings on the topic.
> 
> Do you also know people can binge eat without gaining weight? Possible as well!
> ...



I'm a wee bit late for this, but do consider that no matter the medium, men will probably always be overrepresented when it comes to sexual issues if only because they just have more outlets for sexual expression. 

We women are sexual creatures with our own fantasy lives that are born independently of outside influences. Surely you've had a sexual thought that came from your own mind and no one elses?

Edit: Men don't have complete and total ownership of perverted thoughts....I just think we run into dangerous territory when we forget that about ourselves....


and all this talk about food is making me hungry. Seriously. I haven't eaten dinner yet.


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## LoveBHMS (Oct 11, 2008)

MissToodles said:


> I don't think women are into the 'sex as hobby' thing as much as men. When women do have kinks, it doesn't become an obsession for most and have a much healthier relationship with their sexuality. Anyway, hence the overabundance of men on these boards. *I also think most people who claim to want to gain weight have eating disorders and since compulsive overeating/gaining weight is so stigmatized, they welcome any positive attention to ease their pain. *It also gives them a leg up on gaining attention when male fa's have this "thing" and are considered a commodity.



I'll be as nice as possible here. This is nonsense. It's like saying "most" men who have a fetish for older women really have a mommy complex or "most" men who read "Barely Legal" or get off on the Catholic schoolgirl look are really pedophiles and just looking for a socially acceptable outlet for it.

Plenty of people have gotten into sexually based situations such as same sex relationships and when the relationship ends they say they realize they were "never really gay" but just needed the attention/love/closeness/affirmation. Why should being in a feedee/feeder situation be any different? Both men and women use sexual accomodation as a commodity. Relationships are by nature negotiations; each party fulfills a need in the other. Some commodities are more widely desirable than others, that can range from youth and beauty to the ability to give great blow jobs.

Overall though, it really REALLY pisses me off when people who don't have the fetish or don't get it try to figure it out or try to explan it away as being something other than a sexual fetish. It really isn't always complicated. Human sexuality has an infinite number of variations and for some people, this is their thing. If you ask anyone who's into it, they will almost all tell you they've been aroused by feeding or gaining or fatties since childhood. 

You can see a massive amount of common activites (remembering being turned on by Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Pigs is Pigs, looking up the word fat in the dictionary, simply wanting to be fat or liking fat people) that people were doing at very young ages. Both HeatherBBW and Ivy have posted about wanting to gain weight since childhood, long before anyone would be influenced by eating disorders or admiration from men.


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## KHayes666 (Oct 11, 2008)

Why do all the fat dorky girls with glasses, bangs and work at Newbury Comics have to date the skinny, tatooed, metal headed dorks? 

Why does the white t-shirt wearing ex-jock get the shaft?

All the damn feedees dig the skinny dudes, damn you all *shakes stick at ppl*


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Oct 11, 2008)

Well, I think that's because, just as not all guys like skinny girls with big boobs, the mainstream media doesn't have a fully accurate picture of what gurlz are intersted in.


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## KHayes666 (Oct 12, 2008)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> Well, I think that's because, just as not all guys like skinny girls with big boobs, the mainstream media doesn't have a fully accurate picture of what gurlz are intersted in.



Eh, good point.

So that leaves the jock f/a as the minority. They aren't attracted to the cheerleaders but the chubby dork is already taken by the other chess club geek. No win situation


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## BothGunsBlazing (Oct 12, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> Eh, good point.
> 
> So that leaves the jock f/a as the minority. They aren't attracted to the cheerleaders but the chubby dork is already taken by the other chess club geek. No win situation



Why are you complaining so much lately? 

"I'm too young, no one accepts me" "no one likes the jock f/a, I'm going to be alone forever"

hm, ever hear about the whole "women love confidence" angle? It may be helpful in your case. But don't go overboard there, reflection o' perfection. There is a good middle ground to be found there.


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Oct 12, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> Eh, good point.
> 
> So that leaves the jock f/a as the minority. They aren't attracted to the cheerleaders but the chubby dork is already taken by the other chess club geek. No win situation



Oh you'd be surprised. There's just a diverse range of sexual attractions amongs male and female individuals. Maybe you'd have more luck if you stopped sticking rigidly self-enforced stereotypes. Stop being a stock character and start being a main character.

Also, have you actually shown interest in them? Have you asked any chubby girls out, or have you just waited for them to come flocking to your obviously superior physique?

Common interests are an important part of relationships. Given your apparent contempt and loathing for all things nerdy and dorky, maybe you should try dating chubby girls who like football and weight gain powder or whatever it is that a self-described jock likes.


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## KHayes666 (Oct 12, 2008)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Why are you complaining so much lately?
> 
> "I'm too young, no one accepts me" "no one likes the jock f/a, I'm going to be alone forever"
> 
> hm, ever hear about the whole "women love confidence" angle? It may be helpful in your case. But don't go overboard there, reflection o' perfection. There is a good middle ground to be found there.



Atttitude reflects experience. 

You go into the dance, bash, or event. You see someone you like so you sit down and talk with that person. You make them laugh, you make them smile, you show you're confident in you abilities to make them feel good. Then you get hit with "ohhh you're my son's age, how sweet is that?" Stops you dead in your tracks before you even can work on something more than a quick hello at an event. 

Its one thing if it was a one time thing, after all, it is the truth if I happen to be the same age as someone...but I get this again and again AND AGAIN AND AGAIN time after time. How can you continue to remain confident if women keep shutting you down before you even get started.

On the flip side, other than bashes, I've very rarely seen girls my own age at these events. Usually girls my own age are still in that "fat is bad" mindset so even though they may be told that they look good, inside they don't feel it. That's just ones I've experienced personally, I'm sure its not the same in other parts of the country.

Women do love confidence, but apparently they love older men too, which I am not.


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## Ruby Ripples (Oct 12, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> Atttitude reflects experience.
> 
> You go into the dance, bash, or event. You see someone you like so you sit down and talk with that person. You make them laugh, you make them smile, you show you're confident in you abilities to make them feel good. Then you get hit with "ohhh you're my son's age, how sweet is that?" Stops you dead in your tracks before you even can work on something more than a quick hello at an event.
> 
> ...



If attitude reflects experience then most of the women at bashes would be hating their bodies and distrustful of everyone, as they have usually had lots of bad experience from other people with regard to their weight. However, that is not the case. You can let yourself be bitter or whatever, or you can view things maturely and move on. 

Very generally speaking, people like a partner of around their own age for many reasons. If someone my son's age chats me up it feels too ridiculous for words for me to consider them as anything other than I consider my son's friends, ie. kids. Whether or not they are grown-ups. That is completely normal. Those women you mention are not trying to be disrespectful or cruel to you, they are being friendly and genuine and yes perhaps they notice you are chatting them up, so make the comment re their child to gently dissuade you from flirting further. Just as you can't help being attracted to older ssbbws, they can't help NOT being attracted to people of their child's age. 

At the bashes there are girls your age, and I see more and more young models appearing, so they are around. So, you could chat up the girls your own age at the bashes instead of the women twice your age then you won't get the comment you don't like hearing. 

Re your last para, I don't like overly-confident men. They appear shallow, fake and cocky. I would rather a shy man than one that acted like Cock o' the Walk. And.. if you are referring to older women, the older men you mention are not older, they're just older compared to you. 

You don't need to put on an act or try too hard then feel bitter when your advances are rejected. Just be natural and yourself, people like that. And... get rid of the boasty sigs, I agree with BGB there .


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## Haunted (Oct 12, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> Atttitude reflects experience.
> 
> You go into the dance, bash, or event. You see someone you like so you sit down and talk with that person. You make them laugh, you make them smile, you show you're confident in you abilities to make them feel good. Then you get hit with "ohhh you're my son's age, how sweet is that?" Stops you dead in your tracks before you even can work on something more than a quick hello at an event.
> 
> ...



I don't want to come across as if i'm bashing you not my intent in any way.
I can understand your frustration to a point i didn't fully accept myself as an fa till i was around 30 and i would guess a majority of woman don't come to self acceptance till about the same age you are lucky in that you found yourself so young but. i see it can be a double edged sword. Kevin your young she's out there and she will fall n your lap one day. 

I met mine about 12 years to late. at the point we met we where both married with kids and now we are on a path to be together but there's alot of complication and hurt along that road. She is my soul mate She is my self accepting fatty and i am her doting Fa It' will come Kevin Just when you least expect it ( I so hate cliches but it's True) 

P.s we should have contacted you Kali and i spent an afternoon in boston together about 3 weeks ago


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Oct 12, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> Atttitude reflects experience.
> 
> You go into the dance, bash, or event. You see someone you like so you sit down and talk with that person. You make them laugh, you make them smile, you show you're confident in you abilities to make them feel good. Then you get hit with "ohhh you're my son's age, how sweet is that?" Stops you dead in your tracks before you even can work on something more than a quick hello at an event.




Oooog. >.o I can feel for yah there mate. 

I think it's always odd when I hear that "women love older men". Most of my female friends tend to complain about the attentions of older men, especially at their places of work, and especially married older men that want them to take part in a three-way or are looking for a "discreet encounter".

But yeah, the whole "you're young enough to be my son" is a perfect way for a woman to combine a turn-down with total emasculation. It'd be better if they slapped you and called you a pervert, or recoiled with disgust, because that at least acknowledges that you are a sexual being, and not a five year old offering them a plastic toy ring and asking to marry them. >_<

=/ The self-hating same-age fatgirls is a bit of a puzzle indeed.

However, take heart. There are some older women who have an interest in tender, younger, sexy boys. Take it from one who knows.  

There are also some girls in their twenties who actually have some measure of self-confidence/self-acceptance, rare though they may be.


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## BothGunsBlazing (Oct 12, 2008)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> There are also some girls in their twenties who actually have some measure of self-confidence/self-acceptance, rare though they may be.



Hm, I can see where some might be put off by this, but remember, everyone who has a poor image of themselves has to start somewhere. Not too many people can just do it alone.

I believe if some one hasn't already taken the turn towards self acceptance it is a great opportunity to be that positive influence and lead them in that direction. I'm sure many here can testify to being some one that has really helped another deal with their size issues and lead them to see a different angle to it all and in the process opened quite a few doors for them.

That is what this this site is all about or should be about. Not just finding people who already accept themselves, but taking other less fortunate people along for the ride.


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## KHayes666 (Oct 12, 2008)

Ruby Ripples said:


> If attitude reflects experience then most of the women at bashes would be hating their bodies and distrustful of everyone, as they have usually had lots of bad experience from other people with regard to their weight. However, that is not the case. You can let yourself be bitter or whatever, or you can view things maturely and move on.
> 
> Very generally speaking, people like a partner of around their own age for many reasons. If someone my son's age chats me up it feels too ridiculous for words for me to consider them as anything other than I consider my son's friends, ie. kids. Whether or not they are grown-ups. That is completely normal. Those women you mention are not trying to be disrespectful or cruel to you, they are being friendly and genuine and yes perhaps they notice you are chatting them up, so make the comment re their child to gently dissuade you from flirting further. Just as you can't help being attracted to older ssbbws, they can't help NOT being attracted to people of their child's age.
> 
> ...



You made some good points, here's my take on them.

I understand when an older woman has no feelings for a younger man, but the thing is, that's all there is at these events. I said somewhere else that the average age of people are in their 30's and I seem to be the youngest there. I don't really have a choice of who I sit down and chat with, and there's nothing I can do about it.

At the bashes there are girls my age, but that's a different story. 

My sigs aren't so much an act as it is just an inside joke with my friends on the site. In real life I'm not cocky at all, just ask some of the bbw's I talk to off site. I am confident in my abilities to make a woman smile, laugh, cry and make them want to see me again, but I'm no Fabio.

Like I said, its not so much me saying something and being rejected as it is being shot down before I can even get off the ground. I have no problem with being "just friends" with certain individuals if it means going out to eat, enjoying a movie or seeing a show, but I guess I'm too young even for THAT.


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Oct 12, 2008)

> At the bashes there are girls my age, but that's a different story.



Would you tell that story?


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## KHayes666 (Oct 12, 2008)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> Would you tell that story?



I'll give ya the scoop, well the super short version.

Booze, drugs, single weekend hookups......none of the above is my style.


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## BothGunsBlazing (Oct 12, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> I'll give ya the scoop, well the super short version.
> 
> Booze, drugs, single weekend hookups......none of the above is my style.



wait.

so, all the girls around our age are all skanky at these things?! ok, now I know I have to go. 

no offense to any skanky girls who might be reading this aka every 20 something girl in attendance


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## Haunted (Oct 12, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> I'll give ya the scoop, well the super short version.
> 
> Booze, drugs, single weekend hookups......none of the above is my style.



oh Shit I think you just brought the pain, no wonder he can't find a girl. Jesus Kevin show a smidge of class. way to generalize, 

everyone has there own way to party but come on don't pigeon hole every 20 something BBW at these bashes and dances with such a blanket statement


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## largenlovely (Oct 12, 2008)

confusing as hell, but extremely well put hehe

everyone has a different range of desires even within the use of one term, such as feederism. 



Ruby Ripples said:


> Do you know that one can be a feedee yet stay within a certain weight range? Or actually never gain weight? A person can indulge in a sensual feeding session with a partner once a week, and never gain weight, they're still a feedee though, if they have the desires. Do you know that a feedee is not necessarily a gainer and a gainer is most often not a feedee?
> 
> I disagree even more with your comment about the feedee doing it for the attention and praise of a feeder.


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## KHayes666 (Oct 12, 2008)

Haunted said:


> oh Shit I think you just brought the pain, no wonder he can't find a girl. Jesus Kevin show a smidge of class. way to generalize,
> 
> everyone has there own way to party but come on don't pigeon hole every 20 something BBW at these bashes and dances with such a blanket statement



Fine, I'll give you the long version.

In my own opinion, which you can dance all over, is that I don't connect with girls my own age because of the fact I'm not the party hardy type.

Girls my age are either in high school, college or recently graduated so they're still in that drugs, booze, party mindset.....yes, I am generalizing because that's ALL I hear.

I read blogs on livejournal, myspace, etc and I hear all sorts of stories from bbw's my age going "I'm gonna get soooo hammered this week" or "I was so drunk last night" They have every right to do that, but that's not something I'm apart of.

I also know a few bbw's that smoke a little weed and snort a few lines of coke, they have every right to do so as long as they don't get caught, but that's not ME.

You can call me selfish but I've had too many bad experiences in the last 5 years dealing with drunkness, highness, etc and the sad thing is its only just begun. I have a lifetime ahead of dealing with behavior I had to deal with growing up.

My idea of fun is going to the beach/water park, going to see a movie, going out to eat, hanging with friends and driving places, chilling at home and playing video games or watching tv.........notice booze and drugs are not included.

Again, its my own personal experiences that I base my judgements on. If I didn't grow up around drugs, drinking and smoking maybe I'd feel differently.


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Oct 12, 2008)

Well, I think that you should still try to actually meet people your own age. You might be surprised. A lot of intelligent people actually don't have myspace pages or blogs. In fact, I find that they tend to be more likely to be the class of person without such a blog. It wouldn't kill you to talk to somebody your own age at a bash and find out whether or not they are up for ingesting anything that will make their brain go "fzzt!".


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## Haunted (Oct 12, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> Fine, I'll give you the long version.
> 
> In my own opinion, which you can dance all over, is that I don't connect with girls my own age because of the fact I'm not the party hardy type.
> 
> ...



Much better that first one was to narrow a brush thanks for clearing that up

Now if you'll excuse me i have to meet some 30 somethings to go and get wasted!!


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## KHayes666 (Oct 12, 2008)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> Well, I think that you should still try to actually meet people your own age. You might be surprised. A lot of intelligent people actually don't have myspace pages or blogs. In fact, I find that they tend to be more likely to be the class of person without such a blog. It wouldn't kill you to talk to somebody your own age at a bash and find out whether or not they are up for ingesting anything that will make their brain go "fzzt!".



well....its obvious I cant do it myself......so next saturday night I'll bring in someone who can. A "warrior" for instance that can take my place


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## KaliCurves (Oct 12, 2008)

I can relate! I felt the same way in my 20's everyone was in to getting high or going out to a feild or orchard and getting wasted and then going 4x4'ing. That wasnt my thing, I did drink but i did it at home. I had a baby and that was all I wanted was to stay at home take care of her, go out to the movies or dancing. I also grew up around users and I knew that wasnt something I ever wanted in my life. Even now just knowing its around me makes me uncomfortable. So I can totally relate.

Just keep looking you will find one, I never touched drugs and I was your age once, so I know they are out there!!!



KHayes666 said:


> Fine, I'll give you the long version.
> 
> In my own opinion, which you can dance all over, is that I don't connect with girls my own age because of the fact I'm not the party hardy type.
> 
> ...


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## Shosh (Oct 12, 2008)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> Well, I think that you should still try to actually meet people your own age. You might be surprised. A lot of intelligent people actually don't have myspace pages or blogs. In fact, I find that they tend to be more likely to be the class of person without such a blog. It wouldn't kill you to talk to somebody your own age at a bash and find out whether or not they are up for ingesting anything that will make their brain go "fzzt!".




So only unintelligent people have MySpace pages or blogs then? I have a MySpace page and I consider myself to be an intelligent and articulate woman.

You are making a blanket statement, just as Kevin was accused of doing.

I feel that people are picking on Kevin a little here. He is going through emotional turmoil, and while he may put his foot in his mouth with his statements sometimes, I do not believe he is a malicious person.

Can we try to be a little more understanding towards him?


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## Ample Pie (Oct 12, 2008)

Susannah said:


> So only unintelligent people have MySpace pages or blogs then? I have a MySpace page and I consider myself to be an intelligent and articulate woman.
> 
> You are making a blanket statement, just as Kevin was accused of doing.
> 
> ...




I sincerely doubt that's what Fuzz meant, especially given the fact that he himself has a myspace. 

And Kevin may be a great guy, but he does come off like he thinks he's cock of the walk. He's so busy being above it all that he's impossible to approach one on one...at least that's how it has seemed to me. And I have no personal beef with him.


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## Shosh (Oct 12, 2008)

Rebecca said:


> I sincerely doubt that's what Fuzz meant, especially given the fact that he himself has a myspace.
> 
> And Kevin may be a great guy, but he does come off like he thinks he's cock of the walk. He's so busy being perfect that he's impossible to approach...at least that's how it has seemed to me. And I have no personal beef with him.



Kevin himself hates the reference to his age, but I will say that he is young.

Didn't we all do and say stuff back in the day, that we look back on now and cringe at? I know I do in regards to myself.

I have made some stupid statements in the last few years and I am a lot older than Kevin.


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## KHayes666 (Oct 12, 2008)

Rebecca said:


> I sincerely doubt that's what Fuzz meant, especially given the fact that he himself has a myspace.
> 
> And Kevin may be a great guy, but he does come off like he thinks he's cock of the walk. He's so busy being above it all that he's impossible to approach one on one...at least that's how it has seemed to me. And I have no personal beef with him.



Impossible to approach? That's the one impression I never thought I gave off, I encourage girls to talk to me lol

I'm not offended or anything but that does seem strange to think of me that way lol


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## activistfatgirl (Oct 12, 2008)

Any chance we could take more discussion about K's posts elsewhere? I thought this thread was going quite well and I'd hate to have the really solid discussion about the topic going off into tangent-land. (I'm as guilty of this than anyone, so NO snark here).


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## Ample Pie (Oct 12, 2008)

Susannah said:


> Kevin himself hates the reference to his age, but I will say that he is young.
> 
> Didn't we all do and say stuff back in the day, that we look back on now and cringe at? I know I do in regards to myself.
> 
> I have made some stupid statements in the last few years and I am a lot older than Kevin.



but we're not talking about things he did BACK IN THE DAY...we're talking about things he does now. 

But in deference to AFG and to Fuzzy's thread, I'll drop this subject here


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## KHayes666 (Oct 12, 2008)

activistfatgirl said:


> Any chance we could take more discussion about K's posts elsewhere? I thought this thread was going quite well and I'd hate to have the really solid discussion about the topic going off into tangent-land. (I'm as guilty of this than anyone, so NO snark here).



I agree....I really don't want to talk about my life anymore.

Any feedee or feeder that has some input on the original topic, go ahead and spit it out


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## Shosh (Oct 12, 2008)

Rebecca said:


> but we're not talking about things he did BACK IN THE DAY...we're talking about things he does now.
> 
> But in deference to AFG and to Fuzzy's thread, I'll drop this subject here



I make the reference to when we are older looking back at the behaviour of our younger years, namely back in the day. 

AFG you are quite right. Sorry for the diversion.


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## Weeze (Oct 13, 2008)

AH!

Everyone's angryyyy!!!

P.S.
i'm around that age, and I am not a slut, or an alcoholic....


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## KHayes666 (Oct 13, 2008)

krismiss said:


> AH!
> 
> Everyone's angryyyy!!!
> 
> ...



haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalelulahhhh! lol


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## CuslonGodibb (Oct 14, 2008)

KHayes666 - I don't think I have anything new to add, but I wanted to say that I feel very much the same way as you. It can be frustrating, that's for sure.

/ CuslonGodibb



KHayes666 said:


> [---] In my own opinion, which you can dance all over, is that I don't connect with girls my own age because of the fact I'm not the party hardy type. [---] I also know a few bbw's that smoke a little weed and snort a few lines of coke, they have every right to do so as long as they don't get caught, but that's not ME. [---] You can call me selfish but I've had too many bad experiences in the last 5 years dealing with drunkness [---] My idea of fun is going to the beach/water park, going to see a movie, going out to eat, hanging with friends and driving places, chilling at home and playing video games or watching tv.........notice booze and drugs are not included. [---]


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## marlowegarp (Oct 14, 2008)

I wonder who the Hunter Thompson of the Dims crowd WOULD be?

"We had four pies, 2 ounces of grass, a ribeye, 16 pounds of mashed potatoes and a vial of raw ether."


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## LillyBBBW (Oct 14, 2008)

marlowegarp said:


> I wonder who the Hunter Thompson of the Dims crowd WOULD be?
> 
> "We had four pies, 2 ounces of grass, a ribeye, 16 pounds of mashed potatoes and a vial of raw ether."



That would be my uncle skip. He doesn't post here though. Just saying it's possible.


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## Mishty (Oct 14, 2008)

I've never understood men that refuse to sleep with drunk women.
I mean, thats when I do some of my _best_ work, add a slutty outfit and some kush and I'm as wild as LiLo and BabyMama at the ViperRoom.....


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## Blackjack (Oct 14, 2008)

Missblueyedeath said:


> I've never understood men that refuse to sleep with drunk women.



It might be in part because it feels like you're taking advantage of them when they're in a condition where they can and will do things that they wouldn't do sober.


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## Mishty (Oct 14, 2008)

Blackjack said:


> It might be in part because it feels like you're taking advantage of them when they're in a condition where they can and will do things that they wouldn't do sober.



If it takes a lil alcohol to get a shy fat girl to drop her inhibitions, and flirt or dance at her first "bash" or whatever, then I say go for it.... She's just having some fun.

now...

If it's a seasoned vet of the scene getting trashed (again) and wantin a lil nookie, why refuse? I mean, they know the game, right? Some of these women are after your penis, and not much else.... why deny them this one little thing?


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## LillyBBBW (Oct 14, 2008)

Not speaking for the men but for me drunks smell funny. Beer drinkin' breath stinkin' is kind of a turn off.


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## Mishty (Oct 14, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> Not speaking for the men but for me drunks smell funny. Beer drinkin' breath stinkin' is kind of a turn off.



ditto.
beer breath is all kinds of yeasty  ew


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## BothGunsBlazing (Oct 14, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> Not speaking for the men but for me drunks smell funny. Beer drinkin' breath stinkin' is kind of a turn off.



Yeah, plus, I don't know, if I am hooking up with some one I'd rather them be totally rational and aware of it, cause you know .. her sobering up and being like, holy shit, I did that with YOU *wretch* not cool! Although, that has never happened. I shall avoid it! 

I do also feel like I am taking advantage of some one. Not so much if they're a bit buzzed, but if they're just full on sloppy drunk .. not my thing.


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## bigirlover (Oct 14, 2008)

troubadours said:


> i read the first couple posts and i'm pretty drunk right now so sorry if irrelevant.
> 
> i'm a feedee (omg,duh) and i'm pretty like.. well, no, i don't come right out and say "OMG GUYZ, I LIKE 2 GAIN WEIGHT" to all my friends (my best friend knows) but i'm pretty like...open, i guess, with the fact that i like to eat...and a lot. i'm kinda subtle, but i do things like own a cupcake candle or stuffed hamburger while i talk about how much i love food. i dunno. the other day my (male) friend who dates a thin girl told me i was a "pretty fat" and i told him idc because i like my body.
> 
> anyway sorry if this is irrelevant i'm just drunk and everyone else went to sleep



Drunk or not, evrything you said was hot!


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Oct 14, 2008)

Can we focus more on the feedeeness and hotness than the drunkness? =s

*tries to get some steel-workers out to prevent thread from being derailed*


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## Mishty (Oct 14, 2008)

I can eat a whole jar of peanut butter in a day....
...just 'sayin.


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## Shosh (Oct 14, 2008)

Missblueyedeath said:


> I can eat a whole jar of peanut butter in a day....
> ...just 'sayin.



I could eat a jar of peanut butter in less than a day.


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## activistfatgirl (Oct 14, 2008)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> Can we focus more on the feedeeness and hotness than the drunkness? =s
> 
> *tries to get some steel-workers out to prevent thread from being derailed*



Steelworkers? I can produce steelworkers.

Oh damn, I DO NOT need to have steelworker feeding fantasies. And its really too bad I had to cancel from that reform Teamster convention. HEH.

But...oh..yeah...

ha.


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## marlowegarp (Oct 14, 2008)

Missblueyedeath said:


> I can eat a whole jar of peanut butter in a day....
> ...just 'sayin.



And you like Tom Waits. Swoon. Let's put on "Alice", pour some gin and tonics and I'll go wrassle us up a second jar.


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## exile in thighville (Oct 28, 2008)

MissToodles said:


> I also think most people who claim to want to gain weight have eating disorders and since compulsive overeating/gaining weight is so stigmatized, they welcome any positive attention to ease their pain. It also gives them a leg up on gaining attention when male fa's have this "thing" and are considered a commodity.



Let's say you're right. So? People do all kinds of dumb shit to impress the opposite (and same) sex at a young age. Thing is, doesn't it stop being "dumb shit" when a good portion of the experimentors in this situation end up applying past trial kinks to their current vocabulary of tang?


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## Ample Pie (Oct 29, 2008)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Yeah, plus, I don't know, if I am hooking up with some one I'd rather them be totally rational and aware of it, cause you know .. her sobering up and being like, holy shit, I did that with YOU *wretch* not cool! Although, that has never happened. I shall avoid it!
> 
> I do also feel like I am taking advantage of some one. Not so much if they're a bit buzzed, but if they're just full on sloppy drunk .. not my thing.



Not to fuck, again, with Fuzzy's thread, x3 buddy, but...I totally get this feeling.

The whole "morning after" moment when you're looking at a person in your bed/on your floor/wherever, should not be one where you or they are _just finally_ sober enough to think..."you, me, that?!?!?!" I mean, you may end up thinking it anyway, but it shouldn't be from booze. 

I just think it's a good idea to be in complete control of your faculties while making choices about your body parts (especially the pink parts)--as a general rule.


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Oct 29, 2008)

Yeah. Also, having sex with somebody who is drunk is technically illegal to my best knowledge, because an intoxicated person cannot legally give consent.


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## Mack27 (Oct 29, 2008)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> Yeah. Also, having sex with somebody who is drunk is technically illegal to my best knowledge, because an intoxicated person cannot legally give consent.



If both parties are drunk who is the culprit?


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## LillyBBBW (Oct 29, 2008)

Mack27 said:


> If both parties are drunk who is the culprit?



We call your parents and make them pay a fine.


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## Mack27 (Oct 29, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> We call your parents and make them pay a fine.



Sweet! How old do you think I am anyway?


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## LillyBBBW (Oct 30, 2008)

Mack27 said:


> Sweet! How old do you think I am anyway?



I always had in the back of my mind that you're in your early to mid 30's somewhere. Seems a good wholesome middle of the road assumption but I don't really know honestly. I do think I'm older than you though.


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## Mack27 (Oct 30, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> I always had in the back of my mind that you're in your early to mid 30's somewhere. Seems a good wholesome middle of the road assumption but I don't really know honestly. I do think I'm older than you though.



You've got 5 years on me.


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## kinkykitten (Oct 30, 2008)

My male feedee is sitting right next to me. That's where he is


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## LillyBBBW (Oct 30, 2008)

kinkykitten said:


> My male feedee is sitting right next to me. That's where he is



With those beguiling eyes and that killer bod of yours I'm sure he's completely entranced and not in full posession of his faculties to make an informed decision as to weather he should stay or flee for his life before it's too late. Poor feedee.  

:kiss2:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 1, 2008)

Just want to give Kudos to the guys that don't want to take advantage of a drunk woman  :bow:


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## marlowegarp (Nov 1, 2008)

I know. If I could be rewarded for all those times I didn't strangle a whining child, that would be icing on the cake.


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Nov 2, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> With those beguiling eyes and that killer bod of yours I'm sure he's completely entranced and not in full posession of his faculties to make an informed decision as to weather he should stay or flee for his life before it's too late. Poor feedee.
> 
> :kiss2:



Indeed. T_T It r anuther display of the horrible sexist way that feeders abuse insecure women. The fact that it is a female feeder and a male feedee only serves as a cloak for the sheer insidiousness of its sexist opresshun.


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