# Alive in the UK



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Dec 18, 2006)

Well folks....I made it! I am in the Uk with Mike to live happily ever after. woohoo. United Airlines sucks. I will be making another post about them..but if you are a SSBBW requiring 2 seats...the arm rests only go up 3/4 of the way. They suck...and were pretty rude taboot except one attendant. By like I said, I will write more later.

I must say being a 500+ pound woman in the UK is a bit terrible emotionally and physically (loads and loads of walking and climbing stairs) There is so much fat hatred here...and it's all over. The news, papers, magazines, the way people treat me. It's going to be hard. Hella hard. Any advice from any SSBBW's in the UK would be great. BBW's seem to be the norm here but heaven forbid if you are a SSBBW. 

Anyways..back to good news! Mike and I will be moving into our own place this week! Went to Ikea and picked out some things like a bed and kitchen things. Im very excited. Also got to see my first castle...yay. Silly American girl, lol.

Cheers!


PS-He is worth all the pain and humilation...I love him so much!


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## Ivy (Dec 18, 2006)

glad you made it okay!! 

well, mostly okay. at least you're there now.


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## 1300 Class (Dec 18, 2006)

Lets hope things keep on the up and the up!!


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## Emma (Dec 18, 2006)

I'm classes as a SSBBW here, probably a small ssbbw in the US. I avoid the walking by taking cabs... EVERYWHERE. lol Mind you I don't go to that many places. The only place I walk to is the pub because it's like 2 minutes away. As for the fat hatred, I've not come across too much of that. Probably because I'm oblivious to what is going on around me most of the time. I've been called names a few times, normally only by groups of drunk men. I think the only thing you can do is ignore it. I'm by far the fattest person I know in real life, so I don't really know what other ssbbw put up with here.  

Hope you have fun


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## BBWModel (Dec 18, 2006)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Well folks....I made it! I am in the Uk with Mike to live happily ever after. woohoo. United Airlines sucks. I will be making another post about them..but if you are a SSBBW requiring 2 seats...the arm rests only go up 3/4 of the way. They suck...and were pretty rude taboot except one attendant. By like I said, I will write more later.
> 
> I must say being a 500+ pound woman in the UK is a bit terrible emotionally and physically (loads and loads of walking and climbing stairs) There is so much fat hatred here...and it's all over. The news, papers, magazines, the way people treat me. It's going to be hard. Hella hard. Any advice from any SSBBW's in the UK would be great. BBW's seem to be the norm here but heaven forbid if you are a SSBBW.
> 
> ...




YAY YOU!! I am soooo happy for you, you deserve it! Anytime you have a bad day, you just come see your buddies here on Dimensions and will help you through it. Maybe you will be on the fore front of size acceptance in the UK! Show all those biggoted idiots that you won't take it and that you are a hottie!

Keep us udated!

Rachael


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## loggamatt (Dec 18, 2006)

As a British guy who has been to America quite a few times, and has spent time in the UK with a couple of SSBBW who have flown over here, I'm rapidly reaching the conclusion that American SSBBW visiting the UK is a bad idea... lol. Or, at the very least, I don't think American SSBBW should be under any illusions about life in the UK before they come here.

But, I also think Americans in general of all builds would possibly struggle to adapt to elements of living in the UK. The reality is that many British (or European in general) people live their lives quite happily and comfortably without cars. I can think of places I've visited in the USA that this would be unheard of.

Because of this, the UK is built for pedestrians, not for motorists. You could quite reasonably assume that the vast majority of places (shops/movie theatres/banks/restaurants) in America have near-by accessible parking, whereas in the UK I would say that the majority don't.

I think many Americans can't even imagine not parking in front of a restaurant, but parking somewhere in the town in which the restaurant is located and then walking a mile or so to get there. Not because Americans are ignorant or anything (please don't think this is any kind of American-bashing post), but simply because it is so alien to many.

This effects getting along with other people over here too. In terms of how SSBBW are treated over here, I would say it's much like in America, only to a greater extreme. Say, for the sake of argument, most Americans have only known a handful of supersized people in their lives... therefore, there is an element of shock when a new supersized person is introduced to them socially, but it passes. For a British person, chances are they've never met a supersized person before, so the shock is more pronounced. This doesn't mean that the British person in question is a bad person... just that they have been faced with something very unfamiliar. How they react to that depends partially on whether they're generally tolerant of people of other shapes/sizes/races/religions/etc. and also whether they care enough about the friend/family-member/associate who has introduced them to this supersized person to force themselves to deal with their shock to the extent that they can be friendly and personable.

But, what makes this worse in the UK is that people have to adapt their customs, habits and plans in order to accomodate the supersized person. If the friends say "do you and *insert SSBBW's name here* want to come down to the pub with us?" you have to say no. You have to say no because the pub is 30 minutes' walk away, and the SSBBW in question could have problems walking so far, and keeping pace with the others as they walk to the pub.

Possibly taxis could be booked and you and the SSBBW could meet the friends at the pub later. But, even this makes it harder for the SSBBW to integrate into the social group.

Not to mention the fact that taxis cost a LOT more over there than they do in the US.

Of course, all of this can be made somewhat easier if the person that the SSBBW is visiting and his friends are nice considerate people who are tolerant of others. The issues will still be there of course, but consideration on the part of others can make them easier to get through.

Still, I would definitely suggest that any SSBBW thinking about moving to the UK spend some time out here first as a visitor so that they are under no illusions about how difficult it would be to live here.

As for BBSSBBW and Mike, from reading your posts it's clear that you love each other very much, so if anyone can make the SSBBW in the UK thing work I'm betting on you guys 

If you want to chat to a friendly face in the UK who knows what you're going through, say hi at [email protected]

Best of luck!

Matt


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## James (Dec 18, 2006)

loggamatt said:


> Of course, all of this can be made somewhat easier if the person that the SSBBW is visiting and his friends are nice considerate people who are tolerant of others. The issues will still be there of course, but consideration on the part of others can make them easier to get through.
> 
> If you want to chat to a friendly face in the UK who knows what you're going through, say hi at [email protected]
> 
> ...



I'll second that offer... I'd love to come up and hang out with you guys and show u that not all brits are fat-hating... we're actually pretty sound once u get to know us but hey, i think u probably already know that!

As for the difficulties mentionned... I hope stuff like that doesnt get you down and I'm certain they aren't insurmountable... I imagine it might take some adjusting to I guess though... I wish you all the very best with that... 

My last gf hung out with my friends all the time and she was a pretty big girl. Maybe not SSBBW but she was upwards of 350lbs (about 26 stone) at one point (although she lost quite a lot of weight whilst with me... her choice... wasnt a problem for me...) 

Basically, I learnt that consideration and thinking ahead helped avoid most potentially awkward situations. Thats kinda part of being a decent FA though I think... 

like i say if you want to see a friendly face then it'd be a pleasure to visit u guys...

all the best...

James


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## moonvine (Dec 18, 2006)

loggamatt said:


> But, what makes this worse in the UK is that people have to adapt their customs, habits and plans in order to accomodate the supersized person. If the friends say "do you and *insert SSBBW's name here* want to come down to the pub with us?" you have to say no. You have to say no because the pub is 30 minutes' walk away, and the SSBBW in question could have problems walking so far, and keeping pace with the others as they walk to the pub.



Hi Matt,

I'm not trying to be rude here, just trying to understand. What if there was a person with a broken leg, who could still walk to the pub but would have problems keeping pace on crutches? Would they just be left behind until their cast was removed? What about elderly people? Or really anyone who is a little slower...you don't have to be fat to be slow. 

BTW, you don't have to say no. You choose to.


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## BigCutieSasha (Dec 18, 2006)

Im glad to hear you made it over safely sweety. I might be visiting the UK in the spring, and I think it would be sooo much fun to visit with a fellow big body hottie yank in England. So if you are up for that, let me know sweetie! Keep your head up. 
Fat hugs and belly rubs girl!


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## loggamatt (Dec 18, 2006)

Hi Moonvine,

Ok, yep, totally understand when you're coming from there. But what I was trying (and it seems failing! lol) to get across is that for the majority of British people, meeting an SSBBW is a very unfamiliar, and perhaps uncomfortable experience. Most simply don't know how to act, and simply wouldn't think to make the allowances that they'd automatically make for an elderly person or a person with a broken leg. This is what can create awkward social situations.

I guess I should say though that it depends a lot on the personality of the SSBBW in that situation. If the SSBBW is confident and outgoing, she could I'm sure take control of that situation and defuse it before people start getting uncomfortable. But, if the SSBBW is shy, it is often up to the FA to take charge of the situation... and as a FA, what do you do?

Do you say "I think we'll come along later guys... it's a bit far to walk...", and thus possibly embarrassing the SSBBW who is already feeling uncomfortable meeting the guy's friends anyway? Or do you say "ok, sure... no problem...", thus potentially comitting the girl to a walk that she might find challenging?

I suspect each SSBBW would have a different take on what to do for the best there, which makes it a judgement call for the FA.

I think, personally, I would find an excuse not to go (or to come along later) and hopefully avoid both things.

This is all a hypothetical scenario of course... depends on the friends, the personality of the SSBBW, the FA... etc etc. I'm not saying it's a rite of passage that must be overcome to live in the UK 

I was just trying to illustrate potential challenges for a SSBBW living in the UK.

Of course, the best solution to any of these issues is strength of personality in the SSBBW herself... and from talking to BBSSBBW in the past I know she has this in abundance... so I'm sure she'll be fine 

Hope I've clarified myself a bit better there.

Thanks,

Matt


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## James (Dec 18, 2006)

loggamatt said:


> Hi Moonvine,
> 
> Ok, yep, totally understand when you're coming from there. But what I was trying (and it seems failing! lol) to get across is that for the majority of British people, meeting an SSBBW is a very unfamiliar, and perhaps uncomfortable experience. Most simply don't know how to act, and simply wouldn't think to make the allowances that they'd automatically make for an elderly person or a person with a broken leg. This is what can create awkward social situations.
> 
> ...



Matt, I think the scenario you cite isnt necesarily uk-specific... like u say, the taxi idea would solve the 30 min walk thing... 30 mins walk is only gonna be a fiver for a taxi... thats not gonna break the bank really... its only a couple of pints in beer terms! A bit of creative thinking might be all thats required to think of an excuse to go by taxi... or like you say, mates who understand that a big girl's idea of fun may not include a brisk 30 minute march to the pub! 

Then again, just cos a girl is big doesnt mean she's automatically not gonna want to walk somewhere..! And who is to say for example that some of my slimmer mates might not prefer to take a taxi on account of getting hair wet or whatever...?

Its all a question of context at the end of the day.

I think you are totally right about the impact of the SSBBW/FA's outlook on how they both approach potentially awkward situations... a friendly outgoing approach diffuses ignorance or prejudice pretty well... most people are not going to be out and out rude even if they are thinking "crikey, she's fat!" when that person is being super-nice to them...


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## loggamatt (Dec 18, 2006)

Ok guys... I know, I know 

I'm not saying that there is no theoretical way to get to a pub in the UK that is 30 minutes walk away without having to walk  To be honest, if it's 30 minutes walk away I'd probably suggest a taxi too... 

It was just a little hypothetical, thought up on the spur of the moment to illustrate my point.

My point is that it is often the case that a SSBBW from America is used to less walking/stair climbing/etc. than the average Brit is used to. Which means that a SSBBW from America in Britain who does not have a strong personality could find herself in an awkward social situation.

Yes, a strong personality and a bit of thought can relieve most situations I'm sure... but there are potential issues surrounding this, that's all I'm saying 

Thanks,

Matt


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## supersoup (Dec 18, 2006)

yay that you guys are together and getting settled at last!!!!

and as far as the UK possibly not being ssbbw friendly, eff that. i'm going there someday, and could care less about walking and all that sort of stuff. as a big girl, i'm ALWAYS prepared for a challenge, so bring it on! i live my life knowing i'm not the 'norm' and that things are going to be different and possibly more difficult for me, but having the attitude i have, it won't stop me from doing most anything. there's my two cents, not that anyone asked for it!

oh, and YAYYYYYYYY! for you two again, it's just so exciting to me when i read about stuff like this, i wish you guys the best of luck!!


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## pani (Dec 18, 2006)

Wow! You are a very brave woman. Moving to any country one has never been to takes lots of courage. Congratulate yourself!!! All the best!!!!

p.s. I am a 46 year old 220lb American who does not own a car due to environmental concerns and lives in a 4th floor walk up. It may be very true Europeans as a group walk more than Yanks as a group. However, U.S. non car owners/walkers do exist. We are not mythical creatures (lol!)


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## xeeb (Dec 18, 2006)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Well folks....I made it! I am in the Uk with Mike to live happily ever after. woohoo. United Airlines sucks. I will be making another post about them..but if you are a SSBBW requiring 2 seats...the arm rests only go up 3/4 of the way. They suck...and were pretty rude taboot except one attendant. By like I said, I will write more later.
> 
> I must say being a 500+ pound woman in the UK is a bit terrible emotionally and physically (loads and loads of walking and climbing stairs) There is so much fat hatred here...and it's all over. The news, papers, magazines, the way people treat me. It's going to be hard. Hella hard. Any advice from any SSBBW's in the UK would be great. BBW's seem to be the norm here but heaven forbid if you are a SSBBW.
> 
> ...



Firstly congratulations! The first castle is always the best. Until you see something bigger XD

How many SSBBWs you see in the UK depends where you're from really. Which in turn effects the way people treat you. Some would be quite horrendous to someone who was only minorly overweight, so when someone who is obviously bigger than the norm it is an excellent opportunity for them to show off their fantastic people skills  

Where I live it tends to be the young women are on the lighter side of the norm, and then as they get older they tend to become heavier than the norm, but by the time they reach that stage most have earned their place in the social structure, enabling them/their family to beat the living daylights out of anyone who shows disrespect. Quite amusing really.

You can either shock them, and possibly provoke more unwanted attention, and respond, or blow them a kiss with a lovely little sarcastic comment. I wouldn't really recommend either unless prepared to deal with complete and utter pricks who feel they must now regain their 'honour'. 

Being friends with such twats myself i'm constantly amazed at how quick they are to be insulting towards people larger than themselves whilst in the company of someone larger than the person they've just called a *insert words of choice here*  It's even better for them when the person is a non-native, it's like having a double chocolate cake complete with mars bars and snickers on the butter icing, not only are you a SSBBW, but you're not from the UK (which some twats are capable of picking up miles off). It's annoying.

You'll get used to the walking and stairs, they'll become part of your everyday life. Some places probably will end up being out of bounds though, I went somewhere the other day and ended up having to squeeze myself through the passage ways, i'm only 180 so I can't imagine what it would be like for someone almost three times my size trying to navigate such tiny corridors.

Anyway you'll settle in, ignore the prats, and get used to the walking. I hope you enjoy your life in the UK


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## metalheadFA (Dec 18, 2006)

To be honest where I come from in the UK ssbbw's will face about as much hatred as a goth or a dude with dreadlocks and piercings and vice versa... so long as your not Polish you'll be OK, Eastern Europeans are the new thing for UK biggots. 
The media is pretty harsh over here but the best thing too do is just ignore it.
Im doing the opposite moving to North America in a year or so, and the worst thing im anticipating is the home sickness, but so long as you get around that and have people you know to ground you it will be fine.
This country aint as quaint as its made out to be if your in a town or city so it wont be like moving to Laos.
Aside from the doomsayers there are plenty of cool people in this country who dont care colour or creed.


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## love dubh (Dec 18, 2006)

metalheadFA said:


> To be honest where I come from in the UK ssbbw's will face about as much hatred as a goth or a dude with dreadlocks and piercings and vice versa... so long as your not Polish you'll be OK, Eastern Europeans are the new thing for UK biggots.
> The media is pretty harsh over here but the best thing too do is just ignore it.
> Im doing the opposite moving to North America in a year or so, and the worst thing im anticipating is the home sickness, but so long as you get around that and have people you know to ground you it will be fine.
> This country aint as quaint as its made out to be if your in a town or city so it wont be like moving to Laos.
> Aside from the doomsayers there are plenty of cool people in this country who dont care colour or creed.



Eastern Europeans, and anyone whose skin is darker than the typical pasty Mick or Brit. In Ireland, they are disgustingly racist towards Blacks and Indians.


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## metalheadFA (Dec 18, 2006)

maire dubh said:


> Eastern Europeans, and anyone whose skin is darker than the typical pasty Mick or Brit. In Ireland, they are disgustingly racist towards Blacks and Indians.



I went to Ireland last year with an asian mate of mine and we had no trouble but then I guess it also depends on the places you frequent.


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## missaf (Dec 18, 2006)

Something to consider too, that will only enhance what you feel as a SSBBW in a foreign country is culture shock. It's going to be rough for about a year, even with the love of your life at your side. Seriously, I moved from California to New England in Winter and it was brutal for six years. 

Steps to take to make it easier: 

find a new network of physical friends. We're all well and good, but tangible friends to help you acclimate will help so much. 

Find new local hangouts that make you happy, visit them often, and branch out from there.

Be patient.

Do get out and walk a little, it's a good way to get to know the area in a more intimate way.

And most of all, still stay in touch with all your American pals, and this place of course


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## darrenfa (Dec 18, 2006)

I'm glad you made it to the UK safe and sound. I hope your adjustment to British culture and surroundings will improve soon. Try to take it one day at a time. 

You are a lovely and special person and the best for you will come soon. 

What was the first castle you got to visit? When you have a chance, the British museum is cool place to visit too.

Take Care and Have a Happy Holiday,

Darren


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Dec 19, 2006)

BigCutieSasha said:


> Im glad to hear you made it over safely sweety. I might be visiting the UK in the spring, and I think it would be sooo much fun to visit with a fellow big body hottie yank in England. So if you are up for that, let me know sweetie! Keep your head up.
> Fat hugs and belly rubs girl!



I would definately love to hook up with you when you come. By then hopefully I will have found my groove so to speak. Are you traveling alone? That would scare the crap outta me! When you get dates let me know...if it is after Feb 12, I will be a married woman! Im on MySpace...just follow Mikes profile to mine


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Dec 19, 2006)

loggamatt said:


> If you want to chat to a friendly face in the UK who knows what you're going through, say hi at [email protected]
> 
> Best of luck!
> 
> Matt



Hey Matt the invite goes the other way as well...if you ever find yourself in the Hants/Berkshire area drop me a line. Do you still have my email? It still hasn't changed from back in the day.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Dec 19, 2006)

James said:


> I'll second that offer... I'd love to come up and hang out with you guys and show u that not all brits are fat-hating... we're actually pretty sound once u get to know us but hey, i think u probably already know that!
> 
> 
> James



I would love to hang with you and I think Mike would as well. Not like most FA's have FA friends....so I think he would enjoy it. You going to be in the Hants area anytime soon? I don't even know where you are at. I would love to do a BBW/FA casual pub night...not a fancy shmancy meat market dance type thing...just birds of a feather flocking together so to speak.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Dec 19, 2006)

Ivy said:


> glad you made it okay!!
> 
> well, mostly okay. at least you're there now.




Thanx! And Im sure I will be ok once everything settles. Right now I am having to deal with everything being different, not knowing a soul, and putting up with assholes....it's just a lot at once. But...Im happy to be with the love of my life!


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Dec 19, 2006)

Australian Lord said:


> Lets hope things keep on the up and the up!!



Yes.....lets hope


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Dec 19, 2006)

CurvyEm said:


> I'm classes as a SSBBW here, probably a small ssbbw in the US. I avoid the walking by taking cabs... EVERYWHERE. lol Mind you I don't go to that many places. The only place I walk to is the pub because it's like 2 minutes away. As for the fat hatred, I've not come across too much of that. Probably because I'm oblivious to what is going on around me most of the time. I've been called names a few times, normally only by groups of drunk men. I think the only thing you can do is ignore it. I'm by far the fattest person I know in real life, so I don't really know what other ssbbw put up with here.
> 
> Hope you have fun



Well hey, come meet me and then I will be the fattest person you know in real life, lol. The first time someone calls me a name in a pub Im either going to run to the toilet and cry or Im going to beat some ass, lol. Havent decided how to handle it yet. Dont really want to be arrested.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Dec 19, 2006)

BBWModel said:


> YAY YOU!! I am soooo happy for you, you deserve it! Anytime you have a bad day, you just come see your buddies here on Dimensions and will help you through it. Maybe you will be on the fore front of size acceptance in the UK! Show all those biggoted idiots that you won't take it and that you are a hottie!
> 
> Keep us udated!
> 
> Rachael




THANX!!

When I was doing research about moving here (and I did loads and loads) I noticed a lacking in the Size Acceptance area...and realised that even if I don't WANT that calling, that I might infact be forced to bring it to the forefront just by being myself in everyday life here in the UK. And it's not like I'm in London...no Im in the smaller villages of Hampshire...so I have my life's work cut out for me! Mike is totally worth it though....totally.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Dec 19, 2006)

supersoup said:


> yay that you guys are together and getting settled at last!!!!
> 
> and as far as the UK possibly not being ssbbw friendly, eff that. i'm going there someday, and could care less about walking and all that sort of stuff. as a big girl, i'm ALWAYS prepared for a challenge, so bring it on! i live my life knowing i'm not the 'norm' and that things are going to be different and possibly more difficult for me, but having the attitude i have, it won't stop me from doing most anything. there's my two cents, not that anyone asked for it!
> 
> oh, and YAYYYYYYYY! for you two again, it's just so exciting to me when i read about stuff like this, i wish you guys the best of luck!!




Thanx! Yeah Im getting used to walking. The first time nearly killed me....3+ hours in Ikea...not a good idea from someone out of shape, lol. But I feel more ready for a challenge now. 

I feel like I have the fairy tale every girl ever wishes for. I am sooo lucky!!


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Dec 19, 2006)

pani said:


> Wow! You are a very brave woman. Moving to any country one has never been to takes lots of courage. Congratulate yourself!!! All the best!!!!
> 
> p.s. I am a 46 year old 220lb American who does not own a car due to environmental concerns and lives in a 4th floor walk up. It may be very true Europeans as a group walk more than Yanks as a group. However, U.S. non car owners/walkers do exist. We are not mythical creatures (lol!)



lol...oh god a 220lbs I could run miles. I miss that size. 220 is hella skinny to me!! I will probably never see those numbers, but I am getting used to walking and not eating much.

And I do know walkers exist in America, lol...I just haven't been one of them for about 10 years.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Dec 19, 2006)

xeeb said:


> Firstly congratulations!
> 
> You'll get used to the walking and stairs, they'll become part of your everyday life. Some places probably will end up being out of bounds though, I went somewhere the other day and ended up having to squeeze myself through the passage ways, i'm only 180 so I can't imagine what it would be like for someone almost three times my size trying to navigate such tiny corridors.
> 
> Anyway you'll settle in, ignore the prats, and get used to the walking. I hope you enjoy your life in the UK




Thanx!! So where were you squeezing around?? I want to avoid it at all costs, lol....I don't know many people in real life who only weigh 180lbs. Thats hella tiny!


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Dec 19, 2006)

metalheadFA said:


> Aside from the doomsayers there are plenty of cool people in this country who dont care colour or creed.




Nope...not Polish, lol.

And I look forward to meeting some cool people who can put my mind at ease and just make me laugh and forget Im "different" (fat, american etc)

I took out my lip rings just so I would fit in a little more...I didn't want to be against all odds. However, from what I can tell...piercings and different hair is more accepted here than it is in the US...at least where I was from...Idaho.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Dec 19, 2006)

missaf said:


> Something to consider too, that will only enhance what you feel as a SSBBW in a foreign country is culture shock. It's going to be rough for about a year, even with the love of your life at your side. Seriously, I moved from California to New England in Winter and it was brutal for six years.
> 
> Steps to take to make it easier:
> 
> ...




Oh don't worry. I think this move has solidified my need for Dimensions, lol. I need people to talk me through the tough times...and there are some very kind people here who can make me feel worth a million quid with only a few words.

Im trying to be patient....not my strong point though, lol. Im one of the most impatient people I know, lol. I was having a bad day on Saturday...being in pain from walking too long and I was very whiney and teary. I though I had made a mistake and that I hated it....but it was then lovingly pointed out to me that I had only been here 3 days, LOL! So yes, I need to work on my patience, lol.

I am dealing with culture shock a bit. Since I had never been east of Utah...nor to Canada or Mexico....I'm a fish out of water. I feel awkward as all hell. And my size just adds to that anxiety I think. Hopefully I will make friends and I can settle down...since moving isn't exactly an option. If I want to be with Mike....I live in the UK.

I will definatley keep folks updated as far as living in the UK goes. Im already losing weight. I don't have #'s yet...but Im walking up and down stairs, walking around shoppes, not eating much, and not liking much of what I do eat, lol...it's a diet book dying to be written, lol.

Thank you for all your advice...it's always nice to hear other people's experiences.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Dec 19, 2006)

darrenfa said:


> I'm glad you made it to the UK safe and sound. I hope your adjustment to British culture and surroundings will improve soon. Try to take it one day at a time.
> 
> You are a lovely and special person and the best for you will come soon.
> 
> ...



Thanx, and Happy Holidays to you and yours as well!


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## Emma (Dec 19, 2006)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Well hey, come meet me and then I will be the fattest person you know in real life, lol. The first time someone calls me a name in a pub Im either going to run to the toilet and cry or Im going to beat some ass, lol. Havent decided how to handle it yet. Dont really want to be arrested.



Ohhhhhh just you wait till I get my student loan next month  

Anyways, you're right you don't want to be arrested. And remember anyone who insults you will probably have a few million less brain cells than you, so use your head! lol Although I can get a bit petty when called names. Last time I just slapped my ass and told them that if they didn't fuck off I'd eat them. LOL


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## TallFatSue (Dec 19, 2006)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> I must say being a 500+ pound woman in the UK is a bit terrible emotionally and physically (loads and loads of walking and climbing stairs) There is so much fat hatred here...and it's all over. The news, papers, magazines, the way people treat me. It's going to be hard. Hella hard. Any advice from any SSBBW's in the UK would be great. BBW's seem to be the norm here but heaven forbid if you are a SSBBW.


Congratulations on your move. It must be a decade since Art & I were in the UK as tourists for only 2 weeks, but we loved it. It was obvious that I was the largest woman most Britons had ever seen. However a great gleaming smile worked wonders, and I also said "Hello" and made eye contact whenever we walked into shops and pubs. That helped connect with the locals, and their "good heavens, she's huge" expressions soon gave way to smiles and hellos in return. They might even wonder why that fat woman is enjoying herself so much, and want to join in.  

On that vacation we also spent 2 weeks each in France and Germany. Thanks to my grandparents I'm reasonably competent in those languages, and a friendly "Bonjour" or "Guten Tag" worked even more wonders in shops and restaurants. Despite the differences in cultures, people are people, and a friendly first impression went a long way toward overcoming prejudice or simple shock at seeing someone so much larger than the norm.


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## GPL (Dec 19, 2006)

Im glad you made it D.!!
Hope things will turn out less negative in a while.
I know how hard it is to be a Fa or BBW in Europe. It seems like everyone hates you. The governments are even the worst in this.
At least you know we support you and think you are totally cute.
Please take care and have a great "new" life with your sweet Mike 

Hugs,
GPL.


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## mmm12mmm (Dec 19, 2006)

And I to you here that wish to tell.
You with Mike - good fellows! 
Yes I agree - excessive weight - always a problem and serious where I have read through, that the maximal rather comfortable weight is somewhere within the limits of 300-400 Lb (individually for each woman). If its lady exceeds - there are real problems with health, mobility. Do not experience and keep! If there will be an opportunity to grow thin - grow thin, you will remain on Mike's pleasure big (400-430 Lb - weight too decent) and to you it becomes easier! If it is impossible also you you have got used to the life or by virtue of the nature such greater - well then simply receive from a life all pleasant, that only you can take. Pleasure of dialogue, the Internet (excellent in fact if to ponder a piece!), the meal at last and what to speak about sex of the man with the woman of its type when the man likes very much greater ladies - will work as a forge hammer .
So children - keep, live in pleasure to itself and associates!

Maxim


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## xeeb (Dec 19, 2006)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Thanx!! So where were you squeezing around?? I want to avoid it at all costs, lol....I don't know many people in real life who only weigh 180lbs. Thats hella tiny!



lol. Around here it's classed as hella big, i'm one of the largest young'uns in the area. Anyway it was a restaurant in a town just outside Birmingham, one of those affairs where you have to walk down old stone stair cases and what not. Not many people come to this town for visits (bar family related)anyway, so I doubt you'll ever have to tackle it. Unless you come up from the South and venture into the Black Country.

Piercings are quite accepted, nobody goes crazy over people having them unless they're in what some term excessive amounts, same with most things. Depending on how extreme the hair is nobody really notices, a friend has a bright green mohawk and no one really bats an eyelid. It's really a case of how you wear it though, some people can get away with wearing a dress made of orange peel and ten inch ballerina shoes whilst others would get stick for wearing a band t-shirt. 

Again congratulations


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## lemmink (Dec 20, 2006)

Congrats on making it! I don't think it's just you, though, about the walking - I knew Americans in the UK who were skinny cheerleader fitness-freak types and they couldn't get used to the walking at all... they just died everytime we went anywhere. Completely different lifestyle. The tube is a bitch, too, there are so many stairs up and down that I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I think the best thing to do is make a friend of someone who has a car. 

I'd hang in there though, the UK is lovely, and since you're - well, I don't know how to say it, kind of alternative-style/punkish? you'll probably find it a lot more friendly for that reason, it's not as conservative as america (from what I've heard of America). I've friends there with *everything* pierced who have office jobs, which I don't think would happen anywhere else.

Best of luck to you and hope things work out fantastically.



maire dubh said:


> Eastern Europeans, and anyone whose skin is darker than the typical pasty Mick or Brit. In Ireland, they are disgustingly racist towards Blacks and Indians.



Wait, what? I'm black and never have anyone make racist comments against me in Ireland. I've also never experienced any form of racism in the UK against me, either. Australia, however, is freaking horrible, and you get it as soon as you leave the house.


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## James (Dec 20, 2006)

lemmink said:


> I'd hang in there though, the UK is lovely, and since you're - well, I don't know how to say it, kind of alternative-style/punkish? you'll probably find it a lot more friendly for that reason, it's not as conservative as america (from what I've heard of America). I've friends there with *everything* pierced who have office jobs, which I don't think would happen anywhere else.



I reckon this is true... by and large anyway... The UK is a pretty secular, open minded island of many tribes and cultures... As with every society there is an element of cultural snobbery and ways of doing things differently perhaps... We're an island, with a long and rich history and as such we've picked up absolutely loads of unusual cultural oddities over the ages... some that have stuck better than others.... drinking a hella lot of tea for example!

Ok... its hardly a statistically significant sample... but mate Ollie here (from California) reckons the way of life is far more chilled out and cant wait to always get back to bournemouth... there you go... case closed  lol


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## Stuffa (Dec 21, 2006)

I used to live in Hampshire, and I lived in Berkshire too so I know the general area you are - it's lovely. 

First off, get yourself to a Lush, woman! There's one in Basingstoke, one in Guildford, one in the Oracle in Reading, I think two in Soton - they're everywhere. You want to feel good after a walk, get a Marathon BBS and a massage bar and go crazy! 

Second, you'll be wanting to check out places like http://www.letseatdirect.com - there are others, but I'm drawing a blank. Basically, UK peanut butter is not the same as US peanut butter, so unless you fancy dashing up to Reading to the Costco (and can get a membership) every time you want some Skippy, you'll have to order it online. In the decade or so I was there, I tried to get used to UK peanut butter, but it just didn't happen. You'll also not find Campbells Chicken Noodle down Tescos or Sainsburys, cocktail sauce is ketchup and mayo rather than ketchup and horseradish, cornmeal is hard to come by - it's the little things. Basically, if you can keep the little things like this from bothering you, you'll do great. 

Your first year, all you'll see is the differences. "Why is there no parking in town centres, why is there a warning about cars queueing all the way down past Fleet services on the northbound M3, WTF are these people thinking, etc., etc." After a year, it all starts to smooth out a bit and you get a bit more into the rhythm of living and happier about your surroundings. Then you'll come back to the US to visit and think "Ugh, why are there so bloody many strip malls, I can't get a decent curry, why can't I find a kettle, and please tell me that people don't actually think that this crap they're serving is coffee that's fit to drink!"

Have a curry for me, would you? And some fish and chips - I miss my chippy! Best of luck, try to enjoy it!

(Oh, and as for the tube, the Jubilee line is your friend, if you ever need hospitalisation try to get to Frimley Park, and kebabs are gorgeous when you've been out on the piss!)


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## altered states (Dec 21, 2006)

You're totally right how much of a difference food makes when you're homesick. In Greenwich Village is a place called Myers of Keswick that's filled with workaday stuff like Heinz veggie beans and marmite that keeps UK ex-pats from tossing themselves off rooftops (most of the time). 

In my case, I was a college student in North London during the last gasp of the Thatcher years and I remember walking about 6 miles for a bagel - that's how bad off I was. (Now apparently there are as many bagel places in London as chippies.) Had I ever found some New York-style pizza while I was there I probably would have spent half of what I did on beer and hash.



Stuffa said:


> Basically, UK peanut butter is not the same as US peanut butter, so unless you fancy dashing up to Reading to the Costco (and can get a membership) every time you want some Skippy, you'll have to order it online. In the decade or so I was there, I tried to get used to UK peanut butter, but it just didn't happen. You'll also not find Campbells Chicken Noodle down Tescos or Sainsburys, cocktail sauce is ketchup and mayo rather than ketchup and horseradish, cornmeal is hard to come by - it's the little things. Basically, if you can keep the little things like this from bothering you, you'll do great.


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## love dubh (Dec 21, 2006)

lemmink said:


> Wait, what? I'm black and never have anyone make racist comments against me in Ireland. I've also never experienced any form of racism in the UK against me, either. Australia, however, is freaking horrible, and you get it as soon as you leave the house.



In the Cavan/Fermanagh area, they were horrible. Just listening to 'em was hurting the brain of this kid here.



James said:


> I reckon this is true... by and large anyway... The UK is a pretty secular, open minded island of many tribes and cultures...



Consider also that the guys running the offices now were probably just as ...decorated...back in the 60s and 70s! And thus, more open to it. Just a thought.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Dec 22, 2006)

Thanx Stuffa for your excellent advice! There's a costco in Reading??? Just the name Costco brings comfort to me.

I have had my first fish and chips...a large cod and a large chips...was hella good...albeit greasy as all hell, lol.

I'm adapting ok, I guess, I just miss the small things. To make matters worse, this is my first time out of the U.S. soooo, I think I am doing very well seing as I am on my 2nd week and I've only had one minor breakdown. 

I really do love it when people whohave sorta been in my shoes give me advice. Sorta forms a bond between people who do not even know eachother.

I do love the Hampshire/Berkshire area. It's very beautiful and for the most part, folks are friendly.

If you have any more words of wisdom...please share! Oh yeah and what is Lush?


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Dec 22, 2006)

tres huevos said:


> You're totally right how much of a difference food makes when you're homesick. In Greenwich Village is a place called Myers of Keswick that's filled with workaday stuff like Heinz veggie beans and marmite that keeps UK ex-pats from tossing themselves off rooftops (most of the time).
> 
> In my case, I was a college student in North London during the last gasp of the Thatcher years and I remember walking about 6 miles for a bagel - that's how bad off I was. (Now apparently there are as many bagel places in London as chippies.) Had I ever found some New York-style pizza while I was there I probably would have spent half of what I did on beer and hash.




Food makes all the difference in the world. Last weekend I was feeling outta sorts and hella sore from walking around Ikea for 3 hours. Mike and I were peckish so we stopped by a McDonalds. I thought to myself...OMG REAL FOOD! I got a Big Mac. GROSS!!!!! Nothing is the same. Nothing at all. It seems the English add a dash of sugar to any sauce and it grosses me out as I do not like sweet or tangy things It's a good way to lose weight though, I guess, lol. I miss Taco Bell like youwouldn't believe, lol.


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## Dark_Hart (Dec 22, 2006)

Im glad to hear you made it over safely hun :wubu:


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## kattylee (Dec 22, 2006)

Lush is kind of like an all-natural toiletry store - www.lush.co.uk (hope that works) they do some nice stuff.

I am British, a FFA, and am not large myself (130, you would prob consider me skinny!). What I would say is that although there is a lot of media negativity about weight at the moment, it is mainly due to the fact that the number of obese people is rising, rapidly. 10 years ago, it would be very, very rare to see a very large person. Now, it's fairly frequent. I used to work with two ladies who must have both weighed about 350, yeah they got a few stares at first, but then people just got to know them as people, and their size wasn't an issue at all. 

We may be a little more reserved, but most of us are friendly people, just smile and say hi and I'm sure that will work wonders in "new people" situations

Take care x


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## FatAndProud (Dec 22, 2006)

not to sound weird or anything but i bet the english accents are cute but at the same time, hard to understand 

*swoons over englishmen*


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## metalheadFA (Dec 22, 2006)

Yeah Lush is good but the smell is sickly in the one in Bath (contrary to popular belief I smell nice) and I can only applaud you on Fish and Chips I live next to one and I pretty much live off it.
Its pretty gnarly that this is your first time outta the US pretty gutsy to move straight here! I hope your getting the funky mist we have in Bath.
And to an earlier poster would two lip rings, a tongue stud, septum piercing and cheek piercings be considered excessive for Blighty?


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## missaf (Dec 22, 2006)

It depends on where in England you are  I can understand everything but Cockney, heh.



FatAndProud said:


> not to sound weird or anything but i bet the english accents are cute but at the same time, hard to understand
> 
> *swoons over englishmen*


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## Wagimawr (Dec 22, 2006)

FatAndProud said:


> not to sound weird or anything but i bet the english accents are cute but at the same time, hard to understand
> 
> *swoons over englishmen*



Take a test run: rent A Hard Day's Night on DVD and see if you need subtitles the first time through.


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## ghhfdh (Dec 23, 2006)

TallFatSue said:


> Despite the differences in cultures, people are people, and a friendly first impression went a long way toward overcoming prejudice



Post of the year??


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## LillyBBBW (Dec 23, 2006)

I'm planning a short trip there m'self sometime next summer. Keep your dance card open round about August, maybe we can meet up and I'll smuggle some Americana over if you're missing something.

EDIT: Also, while I was in London I didn't have any problems at all. Maybe because it's a big city and all. Had I gone a bit more rural I would have been a more curious vision I'm sure. But people were perfectly nice, a giggle or two here and there but the interest waned almost immediately. I was only there a short while though.


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## supersoup (Dec 23, 2006)

FatAndProud said:


> not to sound weird or anything but i bet the english accents are cute but at the same time, hard to understand
> 
> *swoons over englishmen*



oy, put me down for voting they are cute


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## BBWModel (Dec 23, 2006)

Oh me too!! I love the accents! Especially Scottish accents...my family hertiage is Scots

Rachael


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Dec 24, 2006)

yes girls, ladys, and women...the accent is HOT! Imagine it during intimate times  HOWEVER, when homesick....it's weird to hear nothing but accents...so to speak. Im getting quite used to it though.=) I have realised I'm the one with the accent, lol.

Anyone visiting the UK is most definatley welcome to be social with me/us if given enough notice=). Lilly and Sasha you have given plenty of notice Oh and Lilly...I am in rural areas, lol. I think it made it worse that I am an emapth and can sense how and what people feel  But I have made an effort to not care and sorta turn a blind eye to my empathetic side and just live for the moment and smile. 

As far as family ancestry goes...Im scotish, english and irish. I know my family history so much to know that we started in scotish royalty, got kicked out and exiled to england, lol, then came over on the mayflower. (family is mormon and geneology is hella important to them) And my father could tell you the names of people that relate me to Prince Charles, lol, but I don't care too much or I would remember the names, lol. 

Anyways...MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE....and to those non-christmas types...Have a Happy Channika (sp?), Happy Kwanza, Merry Yule, Happy Dec 25, Happy Winter Etc.....political correctness at it's finest.  hehe


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