# What's Your BBW Fantasy?



## Fascinita (Jul 22, 2009)

Ladies, I thought this might be a fun and telling topic.

In your wildest, most persistent fantasies, what is your ideal mate like?

Please describe in detail and go to town. :smitten: Are you into a certain physical look? Do you have a scenario that you go through in your mind over and over again? What do you _desire_?

Tell us all about your ideal MAN (or WOMAN!) and don't skimp on the juicy, dreamy details.  :wubu:

*


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## BarbBBW (Jul 22, 2009)

this thread would definitely make even more people hate me and judge me on here and I would probably be banned LOL


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## Fascinita (Jul 22, 2009)

BarbBBW said:


> this thread would definitely make even more people hate me and judge me on here and I would probably be banned LOL



Oh, I think this could be a good place for women to express their own desires. I was especially thinking of how "hungry" I was when I was younger to find out, to KNOW anything about being a fat woman and sexual.

As fat chicks, we're so often underrepresented in the public eye. One of the big fears I had when I was growing up was that if I grew up fat, I would never be able to have sex or romance in my life. You simply didn't see many fat women discussing their fat woman desires, so it was almost like fat desire did not exist. The way romance and sex are talked about in the mainstream, it's often assumed that only thin women are entitled to romantic, sexual lives.

So I'm hoping to kind of "leave a trail" here that shows just what a fat woman wants in her romantic or sexual life. Because I KNOW that the BBW here do have desires and personal agency! And I hope there'll be no judgment! :happy:


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## butch (Jul 22, 2009)

Just a friendly reminder that this thread on the BBW forum is meant for women to describe their fantasies without comment from others. As well intentioned as comments of affirmation might seem, they also have the unintended consequence of suggesting that women's fantasies are secondary to the adoring looks of men. That forecloses greater participation by the women of this board, and that would be a shame.

Thank you for your understanding.


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## Keb (Jul 22, 2009)

Hm...if I could write my dream man into life...

To start with, he'd be about six feet tall, just the right height for me to look into his eyes or rest against his shoulder. His eyes would be a mix of colors--perhaps blue, with patches of orange, or perhaps hazel--but fascinating in that way that interesting eyes always are; a little bit hypnotizing, even. He'd wear his hair long, but not as long as mine. His shoulders would be broad and strong, but his belly a little bit soft and snuggly. His arms would be toned but not ripped...the sort of manly arms that could sweep even me off my feet. (Well, okay, it's pretty easy to get me off my feet, but much harder to keep me off the ground!) And big hands, big enough to make me feel small when he's holding my hand. 

His voice would be strong and masculine, capable of carrying over a field or whispering my name in just the right tone to make me melt inside. He might have a hint of a British or Irish accent--just a hint, of course, and maybe something he can pick up or drop as he pleases for fun, since he'd be an all-American guy no matter where he was born.

He'd be smart, absolutely brilliant, even. He'd be geeky, too--he'd enjoy video games, and like watching animated movies, play D&D or Magic, have models of the Starship Enterprise(s), and know how to program a computer. He'd like books, and have spent more time in college actually learning than partying. 

He'd also have a strong moral character. He wouldn't smoke, he'd avoid breaking the law, he'd try to play the good samaritan when he had the opportunity, he'd stay out of debt, and be kind to children and animals. He'd be Christian, but not the scary sort that tend to give Christians a bad name. He'd manage to do all this because it was right, without being critical of others who failed to live up to his personal standards. 

He'd also be optimistic, dominant, and snuggly.

And when he saw me, he'd be unable to keep his eyes off me. He might not say anything--just watch me. It would be like the rest of the world had vanished for him, and I was the only thing that remained. But of course, he would eventually say something to me--perhaps ask me to dance, or play a game with him, or compliment my hair. (He could ask me to dance in a grocery store--and we'd do it, too, just for fun!)

Then he'd kiss me while we were dancing, slow and soft at first, and my mind would go blank. The voices in my head would shut up for a while and it would just be pure sensation--his arms around me, his lips against mine, his body close--and for a little while, that would be all I needed. Air, water, shelter...all overrated. We'd have each other.


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## olwen (Jul 23, 2009)

My dream guy would be into BDSM and not be afraid to be part of the overall scene. He'd understand what Dominance actually is, and he'd be more than willing to learn new tricks, in other words be patient and adaptable, and he wouldn't be threatened by other Doms. He'd also be able to say no if he's not feeling like being in top space no matter how badly I'd want to scene. He'd just have to be a good Dom. Those are so hard to find. 

He'd be into sci-fi, comic books and other geeky stuff and be able to follow me when I start to geek out. Like if I felt like having a star trek marathon he'd be right there with me and quoting lines verbatim from the really good episodes. 

He'd have good tastes in music and movies too. We don't have to have the same exact tastes, but we should have enough in common to be able to do random stuff together.

As for looks....he just has to be taller than me (lately I've been noticing the height thing becoming a more rigid desire, when I never used to care so much) and strong enough to handle me, both physically and emotionally. Like he has to be mature and together and able to take care of business. He'd be more of a doer than a dreamer. 


That's probably all not so much fantasy as it is, just a list of must haves in a potential mate.


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## Tania (Jul 23, 2009)

I don't know. I really don't. 

I guess I do have a type, but most of the guys I've dated/crushed haven't matched up. Some features and qualities just happen to converge in magical ways, even if in theory they're not exactly my first choice mix. Some very special people make it extremely easy to accept and appreciate them just as they are (and on occasion, that happens to be unemployed and flakey, lolz). 

In 34 years, only one dude came really close to my comprehensive, on-paper ideal. In fact, I think he met and exceeded every category minimum on my man-wishlist. This was both amazing and highly ironic, considering that he actually WAS missing some features that *everyone* takes for granted and most people would consider vital in a mate if they stopped to think about it. But I didn't care. In fact, I didn't really notice. And when I did, it wasn't in disappointment. 

Anyway, if I had to state my general ideal, I'd say it'd be a cocky, funny, crazy-intelligent, well-spoken, articulate, extremely well-educated, kind, outgoing, well-adjusted, reliable, slightly older guy. Balding with very short hair. I haven't given much thought to coloring. I tend to like blue-eyed men with blond-to-brown hair. Strong features, but not too craggy. Toned and a bit muscley, but not too bulky. Tallish, six feet or so. Good taste, dresses well, but not too fussy. Has interests, passions, pursuits, and artistic sensibilities. Confident. Maybe even kinda fearless. But gentle and sensitive. Someone who's in touch with his inner child but isn't afraid to take on a bit of a parental role when my inner girl needs reinforcement. Someone stable but NOT boring. 

I guess the bottom line is that I desire someone who is both interesting and interested. Severe mutual physical attraction is ideal, although precisely what I'll find attractive is hard to anticipate. Further, I need someone who respects me, finds me fun, and thinks I'm brilliant. Someone who will worship me like I worship him. Someone who will love me and make me his priority in life. Someone with whom I can fall in love again and again, every day of my life.

As for the sexual side of things, heh. I'm kind of like Anais Nin's Elena. I yearn to lose myself in someone, sorta.


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## Emma (Jul 23, 2009)

But with dark hair instead of red. 

He'd be very powerful, and dark, and have a beautiful soul. He'd be clever with an interest in books. He'd also be very old fashioned but a complete FA. lol


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## Tau (Jul 23, 2009)

Shape shifting wolf mated to me for all eternity! No, I joke - sort of...

Somebody strong - strong mind and strong body. Somebody who can hold me down and tell me off when I need it, who can be in charge and lead for a little bit the times I lose my way. Physically I have a weakness for thick, veiny arms and giant man-hands. A sweet smile, friendly eyes, a sense of humour. Somebody passionate about life and about where they are going and what they want to achieve for themselves and for this world. A family man who puts me and our children first always. Somebody who appreciates beauty - who adores me - and has an unbeatable lust for me, adventures, beauty in all its forms and life.


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## Tooz (Jul 23, 2009)

Wow, I really don't have a fantasy, especially compared to some of you guys! Not that there's anything wrong with that.  I tend to like more Mediterranian guys, the dark hair and eyes is a nice thing, so I guess Portuguese is included in that  Taller than me, but not too tall, and with a personality that meshes with mine.

That's about it.


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## superodalisque (Jul 23, 2009)

Tooz said:


> Wow, I really don't have a fantasy, especially compared to some of you guys! Not that there's anything wrong with that.  I tend to like more Mediterranian guys, the dark hair and eyes is a nice thing, so I guess Portuguese is included in that  Taller than me, but not too tall, and with a personality that meshes with mine.
> 
> That's about it.



me too! i also like broad shoulders and sensitive hands--what ever that is. i has something to do with how a man holds and uses his hands. i love dark eyes and an intense gaze. he has to be a take charge no nonsense sort of a guy. but he also has to have sensitivity to other people and not just me. if someone goes around hurting other women its a big turn off.

when it comes to lovemaking i tend to like staying in the moment. but when i fantasize alone its about a sensual encounter usually with someone i know that i feel might be a lovematch. celebs or strangers are icky to me in general. i don't need a special situation or environment, just the person and what we do to each other.


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## StarWitness (Jul 23, 2009)

It changes depending on my mood-- although BHM are certainly a recurring theme. 

Right now, what I would like is to cuddle with someone and watch tv and feel him stroke my hair and then fall asleep with my head on his shoulder.

It's usually something sexier, I swear.


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## Teresa (Jul 23, 2009)

I'll start off with the physical fantasy. As far as height, that can be anything from my height of 5'3" up to 6'5" or higher. Dated both heights and many in between and found very positive things about both short and tall.  I wouldn't want him to be very hairy. I like kissing all over and I don't like hair in my mouth....LOL I like a man with an athletic body. Anything from slim like a swimmer up to muscle bound. Very sexy. 

He'd LOVE my fat. Would find it hard to keep his hands off my body. He'd love the softness, the curves, the way it jiggles. He'd think I was the sexiest woman he'd ever seen. He'd be adventurous in bed and not afraid to try new and erotic things. He could be in control, but also able to give up that control to me when I was feeling the desire to dominate. 

He would be romantic and thoughtful, not afraid to show how he feels about me around others. He would be strong and masculine without being a tough guy. He'd need to be sweet, gentle and affectionate. Smart, but not boorish and humorous. He'd love to make me laugh and would try to do it often. 

But most importantly, he'd have to be deeply, madly, passionately, forever in love with me.


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## littlefairywren (Jul 23, 2009)

Keb said:


> Hm...if I could write my dream man into life...
> 
> To start with, he'd be about six feet tall, just the right height for me to look into his eyes or rest against his shoulder. His eyes would be a mix of colors--perhaps blue, with patches of orange, or perhaps hazel--but fascinating in that way that interesting eyes always are; a little bit hypnotizing, even. He'd wear his hair long, but not as long as mine. His shoulders would be broad and strong, but his belly a little bit soft and snuggly. His arms would be toned but not ripped...the sort of manly arms that could sweep even me off my feet. (Well, okay, it's pretty easy to get me off my feet, but much harder to keep me off the ground!) And big hands, big enough to make me feel small when he's holding my hand.
> 
> ...



Keb, I want in on yours! That sounds like my fantasy man, minus the long hair and models of the Starship Enterprise:eat2:


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## olwen (Jul 23, 2009)

Not even a giant Lego model of the Enterprise version NCC-1701D? ::drools::


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## Tania (Jul 24, 2009)

Hahaha.

I'd be extra-thrilled with someone who'll go to Disney theme parks with me and like it. Someone who'll listen to my monthsworth of Disney attraction audio without bitching and moaning. Someone who can stand hours of my babbling about mid 20th century transatlantic luxury liners and Saturn V rockets and the 1964-65 New York World's Fair and the Unisphere and...

Sigh. I needs me a space-age dude. Who also likes 1880. And 1912. And maybe even the English Regency.


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## ABellyGirl (Jul 24, 2009)

In my fantasy I'd prefer a kind gentleman who has a deep and abiding respect for women intermingled with a deep worshipful love for my plushy body (esp la belly) and my talents. 

I am a FA male admirer so while I like all men, I most enjoy the thick-as-a-brick man who sinks when you put him in water. In my fantasy he would dress nicely when we went out and be unafraid of dancing, eating, and singing. He would be a big charming fellow who still always puts his woman first and foremost and shows how proud he is to be with her. Kids and animals would flock to him. And he would still keep most of those old fashioned manners so many have forgotten.

I also fantasize that he would have a tendency to do things himself and build things. That way he could build me a house and restore me a nice 1940's car. He would enjoy car camping, truck-stops, and diner stops. He would love to cook and be agile in the kitchen as well as elsewhere. 

He would be lusty and vigorous in the bedroom, combine it with music almost like a dance and he would love retro lingerie and hot rod red. 

Is Guy Fieri single? Hehe.


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## kayrae (Jul 24, 2009)

1. My intelligence equivalent or someone smarter. Ability to spell and construct complex sentences is a plus. I actually prefer someone who's way smarter, but not condescending about it. I have a really hard time respecting someone who lacks in the brain department. But I wouldn't want someone who has a superiority complex because their IQ is high. No thanks.

2. A gentleman. A man who'll respect my boundaries and knows how to be tender and nice to me. 

3. Someone who can appreciate my quirks and my odd sense of humor. I am not a fan of super sensitive men who easily take offense to my jokes. 

4. I want a faithful partner who'll be honest enough to break off the relationship rather than cheat on me. I'm a very picky person. I have yet to commit to one man because of my high expectations. I have trust issues and I'm somewhat weary of having my feelings hurt. I'd rather deal with loneliness or a broken heart rather than experience the pain of infidelity.


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## ksandru (Jul 24, 2009)

Are you having an affair with my husband, because you described him to a "T"! 

Seriously though, Nick is almost everything you described, except for the fact that he has a Romanian Accent. I can honestly say that I have married the love of my life and my soulmate. Nick is truly my dream man. :smitten::smitten::wubu::wubu:.




Keb said:


> Hm...if I could write my dream man into life...
> 
> To start with, he'd be about six feet tall, just the right height for me to look into his eyes or rest against his shoulder. His eyes would be a mix of colors--perhaps blue, with patches of orange, or perhaps hazel--but fascinating in that way that interesting eyes always are; a little bit hypnotizing, even. He'd wear his hair long, but not as long as mine. His shoulders would be broad and strong, but his belly a little bit soft and snuggly. His arms would be toned but not ripped...the sort of manly arms that could sweep even me off my feet. (Well, okay, it's pretty easy to get me off my feet, but much harder to keep me off the ground!) And big hands, big enough to make me feel small when he's holding my hand.
> 
> ...


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## fffff (Jul 25, 2009)

Clive Owen.


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## BarbBBW (Jul 27, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> Ladies, I thought this might be a fun and telling topic.
> 
> In your wildest, most persistent fantasies, what is your ideal mate like?
> 
> ...



Well, i am married, so I do have that friend,lover, and the man of my dreams!

BUT, My fantasy is quite different.
My wildest fantasy would be me with atleast 2 gorgeous bbws and atleast 4 men. The men would be complete FA's of course. 2 of the the men would be white and 2 would be darker skinned. Body wise for the men, 1 thin guy, 1 bhm, 1 muscle man type, and 1 average guy. All handsome , affectionate, well endowed and long lasting in bed.
We would be in a beautiful hotel room, the floor covered with mattresses, pillows,sex toys, KY, and a variety of condoms aplenty  Over in the corner would be a very large Jacuzzi, filled with nice hot water and rose petals. Candles would be on shelving through out the room. Soft music in the back-round would be playing.
The men would cook us a beautiful, delicious dinner! Serve it and feed it too all 3 of us women. Then we all get belly rubs and go relax in the Jacuzzi . The men then can have their dinner while the women are having fun in the hot tub chatting, kissing, feeling, well you get the point.
Then the men would join us in the jacuzzi, joining in the fun.
We would all move to the mattress area filled with goodies. It would be hours and hours of pure sexual enjoyment for all.:bow:


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## troubadours (Jul 28, 2009)

i'm dating him






never fails to make me swoon, 
and he's pretty much the nicest boy ever


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Aug 1, 2009)

I fantasize about a man with a job that genuinely wants to be my friend- and bangs me when I ask him to.


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## blueeyedevie (Aug 1, 2009)

It is very funny how when you fall in love, your dream Fantasy Totally changes. 

Before I feel in love- I would have written , 
A six foot two guy. With lighter colored hair ( longer ) . Blue eyes, thin , toned body. 
Christian, Artistic, loving, kind, humorous, attentive, adventurous, passionate, kisser, cooker, intelligent, ambitious
who loves all animals, traveling, movies, board games, snuggling, making out, sex,beaches, my since of taste, likes giving me my way ( sometimes)

Now that I am in love- I know he is my Fantasy...
Five foot eight , dark colored hair ( shorter) black eyes, thin, toned body.
Who is Artistic, Ambitious, Intelligent, great Cooker, loving, bossy,great kisser, has a strong since of style and opinion .
Who loves Movies, sex, school, showing me off, traveling, and rubic cubes...


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## the hanging belly (Aug 2, 2009)

My fantasy is a fat man (250-500 pounds preferably, love a guy who carries his weight in the belly) who's also tall, charming, intelligent, funny, all those things every girl wants. We would never eat a meal using our own hands, he'd feed me and I'd feed him, and we'd get fatter together. Then once we're absolutely stuffed we'd worship eachothers belly. First starting off by a massage that gets slightly more agressive, then fingering eachothers belly button, until we decide we want to lick and kiss eachothers belly button and immerse our faces in eachothers fat, only stopping so we can feed eachother more, or putting food inside our fat and making the other use their faces to find it.


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## katherine22 (Aug 2, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I fantasize about a man with a job that genuinely wants to be my friend- and bangs me when I ask him to.




I no longer have men fantasies as I have put them behind along with other childish things. Maybe I am the one I have been waiting for.


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## NancyGirl74 (Aug 2, 2009)

Hmmm...I'm never a BBW in my fantasies and my dream guy usually changes with whatever happens to be my obsession at the moment. Anyone from the fictional Harry Potter to real but slightly unattainable Prince Harry...Or someone (or two) very real who's name I will not give up under any circumstance (and BigSexy920 better not either!) 

At this particular moment I'm book 8 (? I've lost track) into the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series AFTER reading all of the Sookie Stackhouse series. So, my current fantasy dude(s) at the moment are likely to have fangs and/or grow fur once a month....oh, and have names like Jean-Claude or Alcide.


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## StarWitness (Aug 2, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I fantasize about a man with a job that genuinely wants to be my friend- and bangs me when I ask him to.



Oh yes, one of those, please! My libido has an inverse relationship with the level of commitment. I swear, I am a stereotypical gay man who just happens to have a vagina.


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## ashmamma84 (Aug 2, 2009)

Donna said:


> I'm curious; why do you believe that having a male fantasy type is a childish thing? Sexual fantasies enhance the sexual experience and some experts have theorized the lack of fantasy can be a part of sexual dysfunction. Do you disagree?



This.

And really, I think we are all the ones we have been waiting for, but in a different context. Having fantasies is normal and healthy. Damn, a girl can dream/fantasize without having her maturity called into question.


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## Tooz (Aug 2, 2009)

katherine22 said:


> I no longer have men fantasies as I have put them behind along with other childish things. Maybe I am the one I have been waiting for.



I don't think it's a childish thing. It's a normal thing to have a fantasy about an ideal mate. I think most humans crave companionship, you know? Being able to take care of yourself in all manner is crucial, but this is a _fantasy_. Something you'd _like_ to come along, but maybe not something you _need_.



Donna said:


> Sexual fantasies enhance the sexual experience and some experts have theorized the lack of fantasy can be a part of sexual dysfunction.



I agree with you. Fantasy is a healthy piece of one's sexuality.



ashmamma84 said:


> This.
> 
> And really, I think we are all the ones we have been waiting for, but in a different context. Having fantasies is normal and healthy. Damn, I girl can dream/fantasize without having her maturity called into question.



Yes, exactly.


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## katherine22 (Aug 2, 2009)

Tooz said:


> I don't think it's a childish thing. It's a normal thing to have a fantasy about an ideal mate. I think most humans crave companionship, you know? Being able to take care of yourself in all manner is crucial, but this is a _fantasy_. Something you'd _like_ to come along, but maybe not something you _need_.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I disagree. After a certain age it is stupid to have fantasies, as it becomes a kind of mental torment. Why would I fantasize about a man I cannot have. I do not want to think about what I cannot have. Very few single 60 year old women get to meet Mr. Dreamboat and have hot sexuality ever after. Sorry, girls some things must be gracefully given up after a certain age or one looks foolish and desparate.


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## mszwebs (Aug 2, 2009)

katherine22 said:


> I disagree. After a certain age it is stupid to have fantasies, as it becomes a kind of mental torment. Why would I fantasize about a man I cannot have. I do not want to think about what I cannot have. Very few single 60 year old women get to meet Mr. Dreamboat and have hot sexuality ever after. Sorry, girls some things must be gracefully given up after a certain age or one looks foolish and desparate.



Perhaps they don't meet Mr. Dreamboat because they've convinced themselves that he doesn't exist, after they stopped allowing themselves to fantas-um, visualize what they want.

There are a lot of things that I would give up gracefully, but that isn't one of them... foolish or not.

Eta: Sounds pretty flippin boring to me.


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## mossystate (Aug 2, 2009)

I guess the way I choose to look at what Katherine said is that if I am doing ' too ' much time fantasizing, to the extent that I am not really living in the here and now, and spending too much energy on the Mr. Dreamboat in my head, I could become so very disillusioned. 

I think dreams are not only great...they can feed realities. The balancing of it all is key...I think. I have just seen many women who are way too into the Knight On The White Pony, scenario. It's like, ok, back awaaaaay from the romance novels/movies, every now and then.


The ' hot sexuality ', as beaten into our heads in this culture, is a recipe that should be tweaked...lots...to fit who _we_ truly are. 

I have a fantastic imagination, so I know I will never get bored that way, but I also know that it's ok to wrangle some of the more flighty things...wrangle...not drown.


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## mszwebs (Aug 2, 2009)

mossystate said:


> I guess the way I choose to look at what Katherine said is that if I am doing ' too ' much time fantasizing, to the extent that I am not really living in the here and now, and spending too much energy on the Mr. Dreamboat in my head, I could become so very disillusioned.
> 
> I think dreams are not only great...they can feed realities. The balancing of it all is key...I think. I have just seen many women who are way too into the Knight On The White Pony, scenario. It's like, ok, back awaaaaay from the romance novels/movies, every now and then.
> 
> ...



All right... but there is a difference in spending TOO much time fantasizing and saying that they're "stupid" after a certain age, all together.


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## olwen (Aug 2, 2009)

katherine22 said:


> I disagree. After a certain age it is stupid to have fantasies, as it becomes a kind of mental torment. Why would I fantasize about a man I cannot have. I do not want to think about what I cannot have. Very few single 60 year old women get to meet Mr. Dreamboat and have hot sexuality ever after. Sorry, girls some things must be gracefully given up after a certain age or one looks foolish and desparate.



Just because you reach a certain age doesn't mean your life is over. Not wanting to think about what you can't have isn't a state of mind reserved for "women of a certain age" either. I've known a few people who have that attitude about a lot of stuff. No matter how you look at it, it just sounds defeatist to me. I can understand no longer being disillusioned by the promise of dreams you didn't have, but being resentful about it can't be good for the soul either. 

People tell me I'm too old to watch cartoons, read comic books or collect action figures. Fuck that. They make me happy. If it makes some people happy to fantasize about a guy they know will never ever be real, then so what? 

I just hope I still have enough of my faculties to be able to distinguish fantasy from reality when I'm of a certain age. I actually really worry about that. My brain is full of enough holes as it is. If it gets any worse I'm screwed. :doh:


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## mossystate (Aug 2, 2009)

mszwebs said:


> All right... but there is a difference in spending TOO much time fantasizing and saying that they're "stupid" after a certain age, all together.




I still ' got ' what she was saying...being a lil closer to 60, than, 30...and even knowing that growing old is not a time to just stop all hopes and dreams. I got more from part of what she threw on the table. Stupid, is not the word I would choose.


* goes to watch Spongebob *


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## Tooz (Aug 2, 2009)

katherine22 said:


> I disagree. After a certain age it is stupid to have fantasies, as it becomes a kind of mental torment. Why would I fantasize about a man I cannot have. I do not want to think about what I cannot have. Very few single 60 year old women get to meet Mr. Dreamboat and have hot sexuality ever after. Sorry, girls some things must be gracefully given up after a certain age or one looks foolish and desparate.



Forgive the disrespect, but that is depressing and very droll.


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## Tania (Aug 2, 2009)

I think there's a big difference between expectation (the rigid, delusional potentially counterproductive kind) and fantasy. 

Fantasy, for what appears the purpose of this thread at least, can be considered anything from a short, sensible list of desired mate qualities to hyperbolic sexual dream sequences that no one intends to pursue in real life. To that end, _some_ fantasies can and should be reasonably expected to come true. The trick is knowing how to categorize and prioritize each type to avoid clouded judgement. 

I agree with mzwebs - sometimes you need "a fantasy" to remind you of what you deserve in a relationship. The moment I killed my fantasies (using the term loosely, because they were pretty pragmatic to begin with) was the moment I lost sight of my standards and my self-respect. I ended up marrying a complete loser and came perilously close to completely destroying my life. 

(Apologies if this seems redundant by the time I press "submit"; I got majorly delayed by a phone call...)


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## olwen (Aug 2, 2009)

Tania, that's a really good point. It goes without saying that it helps to really know yourself so that your ideas of an "ideal mate" and a "fantasy mate" don't get confused. 

I think tho, and I hope this doesn't sound reductive, sometimes with fat women, if you have spent a better part of your life not dating, then you don't get to know yourself well. Since me and so many of my friends didn't start dating in earnest until our 30s it's taken that long to figure out the difference between fantasy and reality. Our standards were either too low or too high. It's only been in the past three years that I have been able to figure out that the way I expect men to behave is not only possible but preferable. We were all fat as kids tho so I really do wonder if we had all figured out this stuff sooner if we had started dating in high school....


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## katherine22 (Aug 2, 2009)

olwen said:


> Tania, that's a really good point. It goes without saying that it helps to really know yourself so that your ideas of an "ideal mate" and a "fantasy mate" don't get confused.
> 
> I think tho, and I hope this doesn't sound reductive, sometimes with fat women, if you have spent a better part of your life not dating, then you don't get to know yourself well. Since me and so many of my friends didn't start dating in earnest until our 30s it's taken that long to figure out the difference between fantasy and reality. Our standards were either too low or too high. It's only been in the past three years that I have been able to figure out that the way I expect men to behave is not only possible but preferable. We were all fat as kids tho so I really do wonder if we had all figured out this stuff sooner if we had started dating in high school....



The women who considered my lack of a fantasy life at the age of 60 as boring may not be 60 years old yet. When you are 60 years old unless you have had a lot of surgery to look younger, you become invisible. No one thinks that you are sexual or attractive at the age of 60. Where are the movies and the television shows showing 60 year old women in love and men in love with them? Older women are not respected in this culture even when they run for president. I am trying to face my situation with courage and grace. I am not a boring human being. I am a vitally alive woman at the height of her powers who lives in a culture that is youth obsessed. Given this situation it makes perfect sense that I would put the breaks on a fantasy life.


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## butch (Aug 3, 2009)

As one of your friendly neighborhood mods, could I respectfully ask that any further commentary on the usefulness (or not) of fantasies and/or the ways in which women's sexuality are shaped and possibly erased by age, size, and other conditions be moved to a new thread? I think this particular thread title can have a very long and helpful life in the BBW Forum if it stays closely on topic about what our particular fantasies are.

The commentary is informative, but it sort of puts a damper on the imaginations of those who come to this thread to be heartened by the desires and dreams of other fat women. Thanks so much for your understanding.


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## Tina (Aug 3, 2009)

This original thread is really for women to state their fantasies. I think Butch was right on in saying that it will have a longer life if it's not diverted with commentary on specific fantasies, even though the commentary is interesting and valuable. So maybe those conversations can be had here? We don't want to silence anyone on the subject, but just kind of move the conversation to not divert the original topic. Hope you all understand and see the value of both the fantasies and the conversations that branch off of them being separate.

The commentaries have been moved to that thread so the discussion can be continued.


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## Theresa48 (Aug 3, 2009)

My fantasy of the day: 

Takes place at night. I enter a room full of wonderful men. Some are tall, some short, some fat, some slender but all appreciate the beauty of a SSBBW. One of them comes up to me and asks if he can have this dance. A band is playing a hot tango, and I think...why not? So, we dance and I am electrified by his touch. I am lost in his steady gaze. I am fascinated by his command of me and I move with him in perfect time with the music. When the music stops, he takes me to his table and asks me to join him. I smile because I see plates of my favorite foods and desserts. He begins to feed me and the food tastes absolutely divine. The champagne flows. The lights dim. Music of the most heavenly kind surrounds us. Walls go up (this is a fantasy, after all.) A bed appears. He begins to undress me. He kisses every part of me that is bared. He is gentle at first. As I respond, he becomes more determined, less gentle. I am aroused by his need for me. Very, very aroused. :smitten:


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## Seda (Jun 8, 2010)

Funny, sweet, loyal, romantic, incredibly supportive, interesting and with curls reminiscent of Colin Firth as Mr Darcy.


AKA My husband


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## supersizebbw (Jun 8, 2010)

This is actually a pretty hard question to answer, the more i think about it the more i realize that i don't have a fantasy man that i've created in my head....

in my case, in my wildest fantasies the man involved is usually a guy who in real life i'm sexually attracted to at that point in time...and the fantasy will involve various steamy hot passionate encounters with him...

of course when i'm back on planet earth and end up bumping into the said man i feel all awkward because he has no idea of the things i've been doing with him in my head :blush:


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## Tau (Jun 17, 2010)

Tyrese with laryngitis and no clothes on


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## LovelyLiz (Jun 18, 2010)

Having just come back from a nice evening with a guy I know (not a date) I would like to say that my fantasy involves amazing...CONVERSATION.

My fantasy would be a guy who is engaged in the world, in developing himself, and in getting to know others and caring about what makes people tick and become better people. So in a conversation, he can bring a lot to the table. He'll be able to talk about ideas he has and his passions at length, and be interested in mine also. As the conversation goes on he will say things that are insightful and meaningful, and I'll be surprised and delighted. He'll listen to me, and be responsive to what I say - both by expressing his agreement and resonance with things he is down with, and being willing to challenge me and disagree when I say something he thinks is wrong.

Damn. Good conversation is such a turn-on.


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## Yoroi (Jun 21, 2010)

katherine22 said:


> I no longer have men fantasies as I have put them behind along with other childish things.


*Childish?* :I I've actually started having fantasies when I got older(but is less than 20 years still childish?).
But I am realistic; it's nice to have fantasies, but I don't specifically search for a man to fit them. For me it is enough, if he likes me as I am.

And I wouldn't call them fantasies, they are more like features I like the most in a man but are hard to find(the same?).
I am really old fashioned and would like a man who is a gentleman and romantic. I also like intelligence, since I like to debate a lot and talk about philosophy. Nice, friendly and gentle personality too. I don't expect to find all these features in one person, but all of these in one package... hurrrr -w-.

Looks aren't that important, but I would like him to be about my "level" in looks. I'd feel uncomfortable dating a person that is out of my league because of my low self-esteem. Chubby(less or more) and gentle face would be suupaakawaii~ ^w^.



mcbeth said:


> Damn. Good conversation is such a turn-on.


This is exactly what I feel. Quality goes over amount; if a man is able to say something immortal in just few words, then picture a 2 hour conversation with him(hurrrr again).


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## MeltzNyoMouf (Feb 23, 2011)

my bbw fantasy would be complete with an all girl orgy with my favorite 6 top bbw models. I would also have 4 subs, one on his knees in each corner of the room, naked with a bow tie awaiting instructions!


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## EMH1701 (Mar 3, 2011)

I just want someone who will love me for who I am, without trying to change me or make me more like them. You'd think that wouldn't be too much to ask for, but in this world it apparently is.


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## 1love_emily (Mar 20, 2011)

My ideal boy would be tall, have pretty eyes, play a musical instrument, text me all the time, want to date me, be a little shy, be smart, be kind and gentle, and be funny. 

As for some sexual fantasy, I'd like to try getting intimate on/near/under/by a piano... make some music of our own 

hellooooo


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## *Ravenous* (Mar 27, 2011)

My ideal man would be someone atleast 6'1 or more, chubby, tattooed up or piercings, smart, sense of humor, rides bikes, non-asshole and not African American I really want to date outside my race badly with a passion :wubu:


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## blueeyedevie (Mar 27, 2011)

Well I already posted in this topic, but since reconsidered. Ideal guy, really how can you plan or even have a ideal guy. There is always going to be problems. I think about my ideal guy, Honestly from having a guy and use to have a ideal guy in mind, my IDEAS have all changed. I just want to feel important, loved, and cared for. Much else doesn't even matter.


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## superodalisque (Mar 30, 2011)

i know who my ideal is and i think i have him


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## paintsplotch (Apr 1, 2011)

Tania said:


> I don't know. I really don't.
> 
> I guess I do have a type, but most of the guys I've dated/crushed haven't matched up. Some features and qualities just happen to converge in magical ways, even if in theory they're not exactly my first choice mix. Some very special people make it extremely easy to accept and appreciate them just as they are (and on occasion, that happens to be unemployed and flakey, lolz).
> 
> ...



everything you wrote rings true for me..... i find myself nodding at it all and couldve written it myself but you just saved me the time .... thank you


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## prettyeyes77 (Nov 11, 2011)

I have a huge crush on Mathew Gray Gubler and I have the strangest fantasy about him. I want to shave his... beard and mustaches. I have this fantasy of straddling his lap, (which would crush him) but its a fantasy so he doesnt scream in pain, and then I slowly apply warm shaving cream to his face while squirming around cause although strange it turns me on. Then I shave him and there is lots of giggling and grinding and petting on both ends and then once he is shaved it all gets steamier, but that bit is just for me. :eat2:

As for a specific fantasy guy I dont have one, the two constants that I like are a strong jaw line and Tall like 62 or more, Im 58 or 9 so when I wear heels I can tower over shorter guys and I dont like being taller than a guy. But other than those to basics I dont have a physical type I go for. I like personalities that are funny and not afraid to let the freak flag fly I think its great when a guy can pull me out of my shell without pissing me off or being abrasive now I get oxymoronic :doh: he must be sensitive but not a sissy, he must be sweet but rough, possessive but not overbearing, he must like me the way I am but not take my shit, and with demands like these he must come with his own batteries  hehe But seriously He has to have a soft spot for puppies, kitties and babies, and be funny, and thats about it. I also have inexplicable attractions to Professors, Piano players, and men who wear sweater vests and or thick rimmed glasses. Im a strange one I know, but the fantasy guy likes that too. :smitten:


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## FatAndProud (Nov 12, 2011)

This thread is awesome!

My ideal guy is an intellectual, opinionated, and open-minded wordsmith. A man who can make you hate him or love him - depending on if you agree with his perspectives or not!

Other than that, physical attractiveness is subjective. I can't pinpoint what I like, but I know facial hair immediately garners a rise in his hotness factor. Totally.

Also,hebetterhavebighandsandbigfeet,ifyaknowwhatImean?!


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## Power_Metal_Kitsune (Nov 20, 2011)

A man who actually likes me, thinks I'm a person (not a slump buster or someone to use), finds me somewhat attractive, can read and write, is willing to take me out in public, has a job, a car and own place, won't let others make fun of me, lets me at least meet his parents, doesn't abuse or belittle me, promises not to laugh if he somehow manages to get me to take my clothes off, doesn't cheat openly, kisses me (not just a peck and look of "yuck" across his face either), doesn't smell, is single, doesn't steal from me and won't ask me if my "hotter" friend is available if I even dare to say hello. But no one like this ever talks to me. Oh well, he must not exist. That is, if you're big. All I get are leeches, Internet pimps, scammers, closet cases and weirdos mostly, and I'm a small BBW.

This is why I am a proud spinster and will remain that way.


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## prettyeyes77 (Nov 20, 2011)

Power_Metal_Kitsune said:


> A man who actually likes me, thinks I'm a person (not a slump buster or someone to use), finds me somewhat attractive, can read and write, is willing to take me out in public, has a job, a car and own place, won't let others make fun of me, lets me at least meet his parents, doesn't abuse or belittle me, promises not to laugh if he somehow manages to get me to take my clothes off, doesn't cheat openly, kisses me (not just a peck and look of "yuck" across his face either), doesn't smell, is single, doesn't steal from me and won't ask me if my "hotter" friend is available if I even dare to say hello. But no one like this ever talks to me. Oh well, he must not exist. That is, if you're big. All I get are leeches, Internet pimps, scammers, closet cases and weirdos mostly, and I'm a small BBW.
> 
> This is why I am a proud spinster and will remain that way.



Have you ever heard the saying "People see what they are looking for" ? I'm not saying that your thoughts aren't valid ones, but honey sometimes you just have to look on the brighter side of life.  HUG!


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