# The (F)FA Call-In Show



## StarWitness (Aug 23, 2009)

Rainyday started a thread in the BBW forum and suggested that there be a version for (F)FAs. So here it is!

Is there a question you've always wanted to ask a (F)FA but for whatever reason have never gotten around to it?

*Show rules*

1. Post your question.

2. Unless asked to clarify, please don't respond to the answer, just listen. Pretend you're calling a radio host and will take your answer "off the air."

3. If you're a (F)FA (only), feel free to answer.


----------



## rainyday (Aug 24, 2009)

On Dims, do you view women who post cheeky/pin-up type photos here as more confident than women who don't? If so, why?


----------



## Littleghost (Aug 25, 2009)

rainyday said:


> On Dims, do you view women who post cheeky/pin-up type photos here as more confident than women who don't? If so, why?



Not necessarily. I tend not to think about confidence in those terms unless it seems really self-evident one way or the other. Plus, there's always people that'll post pics to try to get more confidence.


----------



## Webmaster (Aug 25, 2009)

rainyday said:


> On Dims, do you view women who post cheeky/pin-up type photos here as more confident than women who don't? If so, why?



I have never understood the relationship women have with their images. Some guard them very closely and hardly ever share them with anyone, some freely publish whatever snapshots are at hand (flattering or not), yet others very cleverly use pictures to communicate and achieve goals, and then there are those who go all out with photo shoots and all.

Overall, the number of women who seek to be published and photographed has always surprised me. When we did the model wannabe contests for the print version of Dimensions, we always got hundreds of photo submissions. What drives a woman to be featured in a magazine or photo shoot? Honestly, I have no idea, even after 25 years of Dimensions.

But is it all just a matter of confidence? No, I don't think so.


----------



## Jon Blaze (Aug 25, 2009)

Littleghost said:


> Not necessarily. I tend not to think about confidence in those terms unless it seems really self-evident one way or the other. Plus, there's always people that'll post pics to try to get more confidence.



Plus one. It's an act that may or may not mean anything really.


----------



## Tad (Aug 25, 2009)

For me, posting pictures or not posting pictures is about as related to confidence as the colour of someones car is related to their political views. That is, there could be some minor relationship one way or another if you studied it in enough detail, but not enough that Id ever use it to form my impressions.

More specifically, some people may share pictures out of a sense of confidence, but some seem to share them specifically because they are lacking in confidence and are desperate for external approval.


----------



## StarWitness (Aug 25, 2009)

Tad said:


> More specifically, some people may share pictures out of a sense of confidence, but some seem to share them specifically because they are lacking in confidence and are desperate for external approval.



That's exactly what I was going to say. (I don't know if this question was directed specifically at male FA, though.)


----------



## zanza (Aug 25, 2009)

rainyday said:


> On Dims, do you view women who post cheeky/pin-up type photos here as more confident than women who don't? If so, why?



not sure, 

I guess it depends, it seems to give mixed single to me (but then again I think everything does that on the net ^^; )

I guess if it does or doesn't really depends on how the person presents themselves in terms oh what they may say when approached or how they tend to react to feedback from such images, but then again that can be misleading since we all are able to 'reinvent' ourselves on the net. Able to show are selves in a way that we may not feel comfortable doing so in real life. 

I guess an example of this is seen in fursuiting (not sure it is best example, but on of the few that just sorta popped in my head at the moment, I guess I am weird guy at times ^^; ), any who it give the ability to honest within your own 'skin' and express that to like minded others either on the net or at gatherings such as cons and the likes, and the same time being able to stuff it in a box in closet when you go out in 'real world' and dreading that this may or may not leak out into what many may see as you

not sure if what I said is clear or not sorry


----------



## UMBROBOYUM (Aug 26, 2009)

I don't equate the posting of cheeky/pinup photos as someone being confident or lacking thereof. It's too little to come to a conclusion whether someone is confident by just photos alone. In this particular case I think it best to hold judgment based on only picture postings. So to answer the question, No. I think theres a thread about what men view as confidence around here somewhere.


----------



## Tau (Aug 26, 2009)

If you could change your preference and be attracted to thinner women/men would you? Or is being an FA something you actually love?


----------



## bmann0413 (Aug 26, 2009)

Tau said:


> If you could change your preference and be attracted to thinner women/men would you? Or is being an FA something you actually love?



To be honest, I like being an FA. It goes to show that I have excellent taste in women. lol


----------



## zanza (Aug 26, 2009)

Tau said:


> If you could change your preference and be attracted to thinner women/men would you? Or is being an FA something you actually love?



I don't know, to be honest I really don't know. :blink:

I guess it is not something that bothers me much either way, since I find myself attracted to bbws, ssbbws, as well as thinner women. To be honest as a long as a woman is attractive and we have enough common interest I am happy no matter the size and shape. I don't think I would want to be exclusively attracted to thinner women, not really sure why though. I guess since I find the figure of a larger woman to very interesting and be rather unique from person to person.


----------



## UMBROBOYUM (Aug 27, 2009)

Tau said:


> If you could change your preference and be attracted to thinner women/men would you? Or is being an FA something you actually love?



I love women in general. I prefer and want fat women most of the time. I am and have been attracted to thin women in the past and will be in the future. Enjoying women of various shapes and sizes leaves me pretty satisfied. So to answer the question, No i would not change anything about my preference of choice. I'm completely content with what I know about myself and like in others.


----------



## bmann0413 (Aug 27, 2009)

UMBROBOYUM said:


> I love women in general. I prefer and want fat women most of the time. I am and have been attracted to thin women in the past and will be in the future. Enjoying women of various shapes and sizes leaves me pretty satisfied. So to answer the question, No i would not change anything about my preference of choice. I'm completely content with what I know about myself and like in others.



Exactly what he said. lol


----------



## Tau (Aug 27, 2009)

Thank you for the replies so far


----------



## Tad (Aug 27, 2009)

Tau said:


> If you could change your preference and be attracted to thinner women/men would you? Or is being an FA something you actually love?



I'm attracted enough to a range of women's sizes that I really don't mind being an FA--after all, why chase after the relatively few naturally thin women with so many other guys, when there are so many amazing women who are not so naturally thin? And while there is tremendous variety amongst women of all sizes, I think on average those who have not had so many people telling them they are amazing mostly because they are thin are more apt to have focused on developing other aspects of themselves.

On the other hand, if I could lose the feeder/feedee desires, I think I would. Hard to know what I'd be like without them, since they've pretty much always been there. But I really think they are more trouble than any good they may bring me.


----------



## Durin (Aug 27, 2009)

I would not change being an FA if I could.


----------



## StarWitness (Aug 27, 2009)

I'm bisizual (pansizual? I think I prefer that), but if I weren't into fat guys, I would miss out on some prime snuggling. So no, I wouldn't change anything.


----------



## Amandy (Aug 27, 2009)

Tau said:


> If you could change your preference and be attracted to thinner women/men would you? Or is being an FA something you actually love?



No way - I think I'm more in touch with my sexual side and find sex tons more enjoyable than most of my non-FFA friends. I think they just like the *idea* of six pack abs; but I don't think a hard body makes them have life-altering orgasms in the way that fat guys tangibly do it for me. It would be so vanilla and boring to be into thin guys, jmho.


----------



## Chef (Aug 27, 2009)

Tau said:


> If you could change your preference and be attracted to thinner women/men would you? Or is being an FA something you actually love?



An FA is something I really love being.. would not change a thing.


----------



## ESPN Cutie (Aug 28, 2009)

Amandy said:


> No way - I think I'm more in touch with my sexual side and find sex tons more enjoyable than most of my non-FFA friends. I think they just like the *idea* of six pack abs; but I don't think a hard body makes them have life-altering orgasms in the way that fat guys tangibly do it for me. It would be so vanilla and boring to be into thin guys, jmho.



*Exactly. When I ask non-FFA why they like guys with cut abs so much, they never say "because abs feels nice"; they usually say things like "because it makes him look hott." Whereas, for me, I like fat because it not only looks good on a guy but it feels even better. It feels REALLY good to be with a BHM and I don't know if my non-FFA friends feel the same way about their guys.

And, personally, I've never had really satisfying sex with a non-BHM.*


----------



## frankman (Aug 28, 2009)

Okay, a question from an FA to FAs:

What is an FFA? Female Fat Admirer? I mean, isn't FA a genderless term? Is there a difference between how MFAs and FFAs love fat? Why does this term exist? It seems redundant.


----------



## NoWayOut (Aug 28, 2009)

Tau said:


> If you could change your preference and be attracted to thinner women/men would you? Or is being an FA something you actually love?



I wouldn't change my preference. I like that I find women of size to be most attractive.


----------



## Melian (Aug 28, 2009)

Tau said:


> If you could change your preference and be attracted to thinner women/men would you? Or is being an FA something you actually love?



Nah, it would be pointless. I don't exactly suffer for liking fat men, so why would I want to change my preference?

It might have been easier for me to find a man when I was single if I liked thin men (they are the ones who always approach me), but I'm married now...so it *really *doesn't matter, at this point.


----------



## joswitch (Aug 28, 2009)

I like being an FA! But if I could (which I can't) I'd want to change to be "bi-sizual"/able to fancy women of (pretty much) any size.. Oh and to go back in time (about ten months) thus changed.. :$ as we're talking impossibles...


----------



## StarWitness (Aug 28, 2009)

frankman said:


> Okay, a question from an FA to FAs:
> 
> What is an FFA? Female Fat Admirer? I mean, isn't FA a genderless term? Is there a difference between how MFAs and FFAs love fat? Why does this term exist? It seems redundant.



There's a thread about this, actually. I keep the extra F around when identifying myself (at least on Dims) because I feel like a lot of times the assumption is that FA = heterosexual male.


----------



## exile in thighville (Aug 28, 2009)

o hai dere


----------



## Amandy (Aug 29, 2009)

frankman said:


> Okay, a question from an FA to FAs:
> 
> What is an FFA? Female Fat Admirer? I mean, isn't FA a genderless term? Is there a difference between how MFAs and FFAs love fat? Why does this term exist? It seems redundant.



And why do we even bother to put the "wo" in front of "man" ?? We're all human beings with the same concerns: water, food, shelter, propagation of the species - the "wo" is so redundant. Gosh, I mean, really, when you think about it.


----------



## frankman (Aug 29, 2009)

Amandy said:


> And why do we even bother to put the "wo" in front of "man" ?? We're all human beings with the same concerns: water, food, shelter, propagation of the species - the "wo" is so redundant. Gosh, I mean, really, when you think about it.



Wow, that's not even remotely the same. 

FA is like the word "doctor", "fan" or "stamp collector" (doctress? She-fan? Collectette?). There's absolutely NOTHING in the word that implies its masculinity. 

Fat Admirer. No reason to have the extra F. It's like saying: "I'm a male Picasso admirer. I like Picasso's work in a strictly masculine way." Makes a person wonder in what way chicks dig paintings...

So roll your eyes all you want, but your hyperbole doesn't hold water (oh, another one, "diver" => divester? Dive-elle? Divette?).


----------



## Amandy (Aug 29, 2009)

frankman said:


> Wow, that's not even remotely the same.
> 
> FA is like the word "doctor", "fan" or "stamp collector" (doctress? She-fan? Collectette?). There's absolutely NOTHING in the word that implies its masculinity.
> 
> ...



okay, take it easy there. Me = connotation vs you = strict definition. I just like having fun with words. 

But what I don't like is men thinking they can define what I like and how I like it. My FFA-ness is not simply liking adipose tissue - it's all wound up with my estrogen and using feminine wiles, so much so that I often find myself not relating to male FAs at all. And plus I have tits and a jay. 

Now relax already and channel all that testosterone on good things, like lovin' fat girls. 

Or maybe I should have used a happier emoticon and it would have been all better?


----------



## lovelocs (Aug 29, 2009)

So after the semantics....
...Does anyone want to ask an FFA anything? I'll be more than happy to answer...


----------



## lovelocs (Aug 29, 2009)

IMHO. The definitive explanation of man and woman. From a T-Rex.

http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=551


----------



## BubbleButtBabe (Aug 30, 2009)

Why do some FAs never walk up and talk to a woman they are attracted to? Why do they either follow her around a store or make those mmmm sounds when she goes by?


----------



## UMBROBOYUM (Aug 30, 2009)

BubbleButtBabe said:


> Why do some FAs never walk up and talk to a woman they are attracted to? Why do they either follow her around a store or make those mmmm sounds when she goes by?





I think people are shy about approaching someone they're interested in because they'll worry about what they think of them or rather what kind of impression they'll make on said person. However theres more to it than that. I think that its an issue that not only just pertains to FAs when it comes to walking up to someone and talking to someone they're attracted to. Most of my male friends and I have talked about that kind of thing at one point or another. Most of what I hear is that they don't want the other person to think that they're stupid or weird. They're afraid to take a risk looking dumb in my opinion and I think to myself, "well if you find her cute why not talk to her? Nothing to loose really.." but it seems most of my friends are shy like that. I don't find to much right or wrong with this, but only that if you feel attracted to someone and if you feel ready to pursue further interest, than by all means go for it, because you only live once. Otherwise you'll always wonder "what if?" and you'll never have known. 


I'm not sure as to why exactly they make those sounds like "mmm" when she goes by, but I'm of the idea that maybe FAs or guys tend to act sheepishly stupid in front of women they find attractive and truely like. I know I tend to mess up my sentence structure and words just seem to come out of my mouth without thought. I've known many friends who worry they'll do exactly that. It doesn't hold me back but for my friends it sometimes does. I tell them go and talk to her anyway, so you look like a fool? so what? If they see you as a fool then they're not for you anyway. I'll admit its not easy approaching someone you barely know and striking up a convo out of the blue, however its always going to be different than the alternative, that of always wondering and guessing. 


So that could be some of many reason why a "guy" / FA might not talk to bbw.


If your a bbw and expecting a guy who you think might be "attracted" to you, there's several ways to find out here http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?p=983447#post983447. Only if your interested in him or what he's thinking, curiosity etc etc...., then you should also consider initiating contact first. Why? Well if your wondering those things about him, then why not find out? 

Alas I think I'm off topic here, so to sum up my mess of words, and FA that nevers goes up to the bbw they're attracted to maybe on or more of the follow,

-Afraid of rejection
-Shy and socially sensitive
-Unwilling to take a "risk" at meeting someone new,
-Past experience?
-Awe struck? ( some of us become frozen like a deer in headlights when we see someone thats attractive, no joke. I don't have words for why, maybe there isn't any to describe it, but thats what happens to some people..)
-Are you making any contact with them for their noticing of you IE (Smiling back and/or waving or some other common signal that invites them over for conversation?)

I can't think of anything else at the moment as I cant presume to know what each individual fa thinks and feels about women. 

I hope that helps a little ?


----------



## exile in thighville (Aug 31, 2009)

BubbleButtBabe said:


> Why do some FAs never walk up and talk to a woman they are attracted to? Why do they either follow her around a store or make those mmmm sounds when she goes by?



you're confusing "attraction" with "boner"


----------



## UMBROBOYUM (Aug 31, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> you're confusing "attraction" with "boner"



This is also a very likely scenario. The worst is when it happens when you're walking and you don't realize until its too late. Its sucks, but its a natural reaction to someone you find... attractive. Its the worst at pools, lakes, beaches, and other "swimsuit" areas. The whole world can see you and You feel really vulnerable. I usually think of something thats not attractive to me to "try" and control it. But usually its awkward.... so yeah. hahaha


----------



## Chimpi (Aug 31, 2009)

rainyday said:


> On Dims, do you view women who post cheeky/pin-up type photos here as more confident than women who don't? If so, why?



Nope. It's possible that it may or may not take more 'cajones' to post a picture of yourself up in a cheeky/pin-up style photo after a long, disturbing road of being told you're hideous because you're fat. However, just because someone puts on a much shorter/tighter pair of shorts to show off what they have as compared to someone who is fully clothed does not make them more confident. Confidence is a mental attribute, not a physical one (in my opinion).



Tau said:


> If you could change your preference and be attracted to thinner women/men would you? Or is being an FA something you actually love?



I would never change my orientation.



BubbleButtBabe said:


> Why do some FAs never walk up and talk to a woman they are attracted to? Why do they either follow her around a store or make those mmmm sounds when she goes by?



Maybe he/she is not single. Maybe he/she is too shy. Maybe he/she is not a talkative person. Maybe he/she has some issues going on that need to be worked out before he/she approaches you. There are all sorts of variables that can come into play. Maybe he/she just doesn't want to be publicly known as the person that finds a fat person attractive. It's probably not always like that, though. I would venture to say much more a general nervous issue than a strictly "FA" problem.

I don't know about the "mmm" sounds because I don't do that, but if a creep is horny, he/she will follow you around, methinks.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe (Sep 1, 2009)

Thanks guys..Kind of what I figured but wanted some input just to be sure...


----------



## Blockierer (Sep 3, 2009)

rainyday said:


> On Dims, do you view women who post cheeky/pin-up type photos here as more confident than women who don't? If so, why?


Some women love to show their body, some not. 
But the positive comments about their pics of the here reading and writing FAs will make them more confident. That's what I think


----------



## Buffetbelly (Sep 3, 2009)

lovelocs said:


> So after the semantics....
> ...Does anyone want to ask an FFA anything? I'll be more than happy to answer...



This deserves its own thread! I think BHM are more puzzled over FFA's than BBW are over FA's.


----------



## Cors (Sep 3, 2009)

rainyday said:


> On Dims, do you view women who post cheeky/pin-up type photos here as more confident than women who don't? If so, why?



No. However, it is pretty easy to tell if someone is posting pictures because they are insecure and need validation. 



Tau said:


> If you could change your preference and be attracted to thinner women/men would you? Or is being an FA something you actually love?



I neither hate nor love being an FA, but because I am, I know that sex will probably never be the same with a thin woman and will of course miss that part of my sexuality. However, if I preferred thin women (or hell, men) from birth, then I suppose I won't know what I am missing out on. It is kind of like how a chocolate hater won't feel like he is missing anything, even when all his friends are waving Godiva in his face and gushing about how wonderful it is, though he would probably have been curious at some point. 



frankman said:


> Okay, a question from an FA to FAs:
> 
> What is an FFA? Female Fat Admirer? I mean, isn't FA a genderless term? Is there a difference between how MFAs and FFAs love fat? Why does this term exist? It seems redundant.



What StarWitness said! Identifying as an FFA here implies that I am sexually interested in men when I am not. I don't mind the term FA and can often relate to the straight male FAs, but I wouldn't want anyone to assume that I am male.


----------



## joswitch (Sep 4, 2009)

BubbleButtBabe said:


> Why do some FAs never walk up and talk to a woman they are attracted to?


I like to try and make eye contact first, maybe exchange a smile...
(Y'know to assess whether or not she might be interested in an approach, cos most women I know assume a guy who's hitting on them in public = creepy...)
An awful lot of BBWs are just looking at the floor / their phones / will not make eye contact, so I'm left guessing and I tend to guess she'd rather be left alone...



> Why do they either follow her around a store or make those mmmm sounds when she goes by?



Errrr.... WTF? 
I don't do this...
and I don't do this - cos it's bloody creepy!
Guys who do this are either creepy or too dumb or too shy aaaaaand so they come across as creepy... gah! they'd be better off saying "Hi" and risk being shot down than doing this....


----------



## frankman (Sep 4, 2009)

BubbleButtBabe said:


> Why do some FAs never walk up and talk to a woman they are attracted to? Why do they either follow her around a store or make those mmmm sounds when she goes by?



hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaybe it's an affliction?

Seriously; you had guys following you around the store going hmmmhmmmhhmm? That's so weird. Did you throw canned products at them?


----------



## BubbleButtBabe (Sep 5, 2009)

frankman said:


> hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaybe it's an affliction?
> 
> Seriously; you had guys following you around the store going hmmmhmmmhhmm? That's so weird. Did you throw canned products at them?



No I usually tell them to f off and walk away from them...In my part of the country these good ole boys are sometimes backwards with the way they act towards women...They do not use the manners their Mothers taught them..


----------



## Fascinita (Sep 6, 2009)

THisis for da FAs :

FAs, what do you find exciting about touching your own bodies? I relly wanna know.

Thanks,


----------



## Observer (Sep 6, 2009)

Folks, let's respect the OP's initial intent. 

This thread is supposed to be call-in talk show format; ask your question and watch the responses. 

If something is worth a prologed interactive discussion please start a separate thread!


----------



## chicken legs (Sep 7, 2009)

Tau said:


> If you could change your preference and be attracted to thinner women/men would you? Or is being an FA something you actually love?



Since i see nothing wrong with being attracted to big folks..no i wouldnt change and yes i do love it..y...idk..its in the genes i guess. I dont question my preference anymore than i question why big folks like engulfing smaller folks with their big bodies...ok i just turned myself on:blush: what was i talking about


----------



## chicken legs (Sep 7, 2009)

BubbleButtBabe said:


> Why do some FAs never walk up and talk to a woman they are attracted to? Why do they either follow her around a store or make those mmmm sounds when she goes by?



hhahha..i totally do that. I'm a really quiet/reserved person under normal circumstances, so if you throw a super sized person in the mixed..I really clam up. Plus I don't see super sized people on a everyday basis so I'm not desensitized to seeing them. 

LOL..I've been with my super sized boyfriend for 9 months and still do that (stare/clam up/follow aimlessly/growl).:happy:


----------



## chicken legs (Sep 7, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> THisis for da FAs :
> 
> FAs, what do you find exciting about touching your own bodies? I relly wanna know.
> 
> Thanks,



Funny thing is when i was 120 i wasnt into my own body at all..but now that i have jiggly butt..i do enjoy sitting in chairs more...but all in all i dont find my body exciting.


----------



## dcoyote (Sep 7, 2009)

I have a question. Do all of you have a thing for huge boobs? Mine are tiny, but it seems like most bbws have huge boobs. Does anyone not really care about breast size?

On a side note, Cors, you are adorable.


----------



## MatthewB (Sep 8, 2009)

joswitch said:


> I like to try and make eye contact first, maybe exchange a smile...
> (Y'know to assess whether or not she might be interested in an approach, cos most women I know assume a guy who's hitting on them in public = creepy...)
> An awful lot of BBWs are just looking at the floor / their phones / will not make eye contact, so I'm left guessing and I tend to guess she'd rather be left alone...


You know, it's the same for me! You find a way to remedy that, *joswitch*?


----------



## Cors (Sep 8, 2009)

BubbleButtBabe said:


> Why do some FAs never walk up and talk to a woman they are attracted to? Why do they either follow her around a store or make those mmmm sounds when she goes by?



I am female and don't look gay, which usually makes it a little easier for me to approach women and compliment them so I don't have this problem. Also consider that some of us have also been shot down by BBWs before, or made them believe that we were making fun of them or get called names because of our preference, so we might have less courage to talk to a girl we find attractive. Not that following her around drooling is better of course but it is possible that an FA might be so enthralled that he doesn't even realise that he is scaring the poor girl. 



dcoyote said:


> I have a question. Do all of you have a thing for huge boobs? Mine are tiny, but it seems like most bbws have huge boobs. Does anyone not really care about breast size?
> 
> On a side note, Cors, you are adorable.



Aw thank you. :blush:

Many people do assume that BBWs have huge boobs, and I guess they are partly right. It is all about proportion, and the same boobs that may look massive on me will look small when stretched across a much wider frame. I imagine that even A cups on a BBW will still be soft and squishy. They only sound small because of the way bras are sized (difference between underbust and overbust measurement) and how most people perceive cup sizes (eg. As are nonexistent and DDs are gigantic and fake). And oh, I don't think FAs will complain about the back fat and side rolls that give you a bigger band size but a smaller cup size. 

There was a thread (sorry, can't seem find it) quite a while ago about how there doesn't seem to be many FAs who are into big breasts compared to guys who like thin women. It was discussed that this is probably because there is so much other stuff to play with that breasts might not get as much attention. There are some FAs who are into huge pendulous breasts or those who have a breast inflation fetish, but there are also many who prefer huge bellies or extreme pears. Personally I can appreciate all shapes. One thing I like about BBWs is that no part is really small, it is just that the other parts are bigger. Even A cups on a BBW are a good handful, while those with a proportionally small waist will still have a cute belly and the apples that complain about not having hips or ass probably have quite a bit more than a thin bottom-heavy girl.


----------



## Tad (Sep 8, 2009)

dcoyote said:


> I have a question. Do all of you have a thing for huge boobs? Mine are tiny, but it seems like most bbws have huge boobs. Does anyone not really care about breast size?



Judging from previous discussions over the years, quite a lot of FA really look at breasts as secondary to other fat parts. Not that they don't like them, but maybe it is sort of "All women have breasts, and some quite thin ones have large breasts. What excites me is the stuff that a BBW does have that thin women don't, like belly, big thighs, etc" Certainly some FA seem to also love huge breasts, but my impression is that in most cases there is not a major fixation on breasts size.

And speaking for myself, well, when I met my wife she was pretty small chested (that has changed a fair bit over the years with age, birth control, baby, and so on, and I don't mind that change at all, but it was never a big deal with me)


----------



## Jon Blaze (Sep 8, 2009)

dcoyote said:


> I have a question. Do all of you have a thing for huge boobs? Mine are tiny, but it seems like most bbws have huge boobs. Does anyone not really care about breast size?
> 
> On a side note, Cors, you are adorable.



Well I like what I consider nice and/or big, but I don't require it. To add to the point, I know a lot of bigger women have shapes that might exaggerate other parts more than others (I.e. pears that don't have big boobs; Apples that do, but don't have a large hip/thigh/butt area), but I've gotten to the point where if there's some part that greatly appeases me for some reason, and there's another that isn't particularly prominent (Or I find lacking), then it's almost as if I don't need that part even if I considered it lacking. But I consider shape a very subjective thing, so it doesn't always hold true. It depends on a lot of things.

Size (Or lack thereof) in itself also is not a direct determinant of whether or not I think something is nice as well. Quality != Quantity (Or shape/ratio for that matter), but at times I might correlate the two with a specific person. 

As with anything, it's going to vary. Some argue most FAs like x shape more, x shape less and so on, but I'd wager it varies.


----------



## Melian (Sep 8, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> THisis for da FAs :
> 
> FAs, what do you find exciting about touching your own bodies? I relly wanna know.
> 
> Thanks,




Not sure if you only wanted male FAs to answer (or if you were asking seriously  ), but in my case, I tend not to touch myself. Yes, it sounds funny, but I don't like my own body and don't get any kind of pleasure from touching it. If my husband wanted me to do it, I am willing to give him a show, but never do any of that for my own enjoyment.

What a depressing answer...


----------



## Cors (Sep 8, 2009)

Melian said:


> Not sure if you only wanted male FAs to answer (or if you were asking seriously  ), but in my case, I tend not to touch myself. Yes, it sounds funny, but I don't like my own body and don't get any kind of pleasure from touching it. If my husband wanted me to do it, I am willing to give him a show, but never do any of that for my own enjoyment.
> 
> What a depressing answer...



I feel the same way.


----------



## joswitch (Sep 8, 2009)

dcoyote said:


> I have a question. Do all of you have a thing for huge boobs? Mine are tiny, but it seems like most bbws have huge boobs. Does anyone not really care about breast size?
> 
> On a side note, Cors, you are adorable.



My many "things" tend not to be boob size focussed.... other than I do have a preference for dating girls with at least "C" cups (= a handful for me) ... more than that just = bonus.... :blush:


----------



## dcoyote (Sep 8, 2009)

Thanks FAs! My gals are feeling better about themselves.


----------



## Tad (Sep 9, 2009)

dcoyote: something else to keep in mind is that cup size is relative to band size, not an absolute. So for example, the total cup volume in a 40B is the same as in a 36D. So while you may have smaller breasts for your size than some ladies do, at the same time there is probably plenty there all the same


----------



## Blockierer (Sep 9, 2009)

dcoyote said:


> I have a question. Do all of you have a thing for huge boobs? Mine are tiny, but it seems like most bbws have huge boobs. Does anyone not really care about breast size?
> .



When I was a very young FA I could die for huge pendulous breasts. But later I dicovered that (SS)BBW do not need large boobs. I huge soft belly is better for me.  Indeed I think a BBW with tiny boobs is sexy.


----------



## Keb (Sep 9, 2009)

FAs often ask what they can do to help their beloveds become more confident and happy as they are. I'm wondering what FAs think we BBWs can do to encourage them--how can we help you to feel more confident in, say, asking us out, or more comfortable telling others how smokin' hot we are?

(I'm not trying to suggest that it is anyone's responsibility to create the kind of confidence that we're looking for in other people--we can't do that anyway--but I do think we have a shared, common goal in finding ways to connect with and uplift one another in facing a less-than-friendly world outside our community.)


----------



## Blockierer (Sep 9, 2009)

Keb said:


> .I'm wondering what FAs think we BBWs can do to encourage them--how can we help you to feel more confident in, say, asking us out, or more comfortable telling others how smokin' hot we are?
> .


Tell every FA you meet in reality or online that his FA-ness is cool.


----------



## frankman (Sep 9, 2009)

Keb said:


> FAs often ask what they can do to help their beloveds become more confident and happy as they are. I'm wondering what FAs think we BBWs can do to encourage them--how can we help you to feel more confident in, say, asking us out, or more comfortable telling others how smokin' hot we are?
> 
> (I'm not trying to suggest that it is anyone's responsibility to create the kind of confidence that we're looking for in other people--we can't do that anyway--but I do think we have a shared, common goal in finding ways to connect with and uplift one another in facing a less-than-friendly world outside our community.)



Shy and secret FAs are their own Waterloo, you can't do anything about that. Actually, there's nothing you can do about the whole thing, because the caution used in approach is a good thing. Fatness is not fun for everyone, a lot of fat people are really self-concious and feel like you're messing with them if you come in Casanova-style.

The only thing you can do is be fun and outgoing. If you're having a good time and it shows, people will come to you.


----------



## Tad (Sep 9, 2009)

Keb said:


> FAs often ask what they can do to help their beloveds become more confident and happy as they are. I'm wondering what FAs think we BBWs can do to encourage them--how can we help you to feel more confident in, say, asking us out, or more comfortable telling others how smokin' hot we are?
> 
> (I'm not trying to suggest that it is anyone's responsibility to create the kind of confidence that we're looking for in other people--we can't do that anyway--but I do think we have a shared, common goal in finding ways to connect with and uplift one another in facing a less-than-friendly world outside our community.)



With specific respect to BBW and male FA.....one of the classic male/female things is that women are more apt to want to talk about things that bug them, while men are apt to interpret that as a request to do something about it (when all that their female partner probably wanted was some sympathy).

So when you are complaining about fat related issues, if you make it clear "I'm just venting" versus "I really want to change this" you'll help your partner (FA or not, but especially FA) understand where you stand a lot better. Otherwise when you are ranting that you can't find cute clothes in your size and it was so much easier when you were a size 16 and besides back then you could dance all night, he may be thinking this is a request to help you get back to a size 16......and should he be a good guy and try to help you, it is apt to start giving you a lot of mixed signals about what he thinks of your size (when he starts suggesting diet plans and regular gym visits, or whatever), which can just start a real spiral of confusion.

Or to try and be more concise: Let your FA know clearly what you want to change, and what you just need to complain about occasionally.


----------



## Jon Blaze (Sep 9, 2009)

Keb said:


> FAs often ask what they can do to help their beloveds become more confident and happy as they are. I'm wondering what FAs think we BBWs can do to encourage them--how can we help you to feel more confident in, say, asking us out, or more comfortable telling others how smokin' hot we are?
> 
> (I'm not trying to suggest that it is anyone's responsibility to create the kind of confidence that we're looking for in other people--we can't do that anyway--but I do think we have a shared, common goal in finding ways to connect with and uplift one another in facing a less-than-friendly world outside our community.)



I would just say be outgoing, and even more if you have interest in a guy. Call me new school, but I'm not saying that the woman has to ask the guy out, but I think when starting conversation that both parties involved need to add to the whole interaction.


----------



## joh (Sep 9, 2009)

rainyday said:


> On Dims, do you view women who post cheeky/pin-up type photos here as more confident than women who don't? If so, why?


No, not at all. It's usually evident by just the way they represent themselves in everyday posts (especially if they explicitly mention if they are or aren't confident).



Tau said:


> If you could change your preference and be attracted to thinner women/men would you? Or is being an FA something you actually love?


Definitely not! Fat is where its at! 8)



keb said:


> FAs often ask what they can do to help their beloveds become more confident and happy as they are. I'm wondering what FAs think we BBWs can do to encourage them--how can we help you to feel more confident in, say, asking us out, or more comfortable telling others how smokin' hot we are?
> 
> (I'm not trying to suggest that it is anyone's responsibility to create the kind of confidence that we're looking for in other people--we can't do that anyway--but I do think we have a shared, common goal in finding ways to connect with and uplift one another in facing a less-than-friendly world outside our community.)


This works not only with FAs but all guys, but starting a conversation with someone you like or a shy guy you think may like you instead of waiting for them to start it is always encouraging. Of course, this works both way; Guys should initiate conservations as much as possible; Gals might be too shy to start one just like the other guy. But if both are trying to meet others, it will work out in the end me thinks 

Also, be confident about yourself (your body, your personality, the whole package). It shows when you are; it's an attractive feature no matter if someone is fat, thin, tall, short, male, female.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite (Sep 15, 2009)

I've been wondering about this for quite awhile..... what would you do if your significant other (BBW or SSBBW) decided she needed to lose weight for health reasons, not to fit into smaller sized clothing? Her knees and back were painful and had damage that would get worse in time, troubling breathing, couldn't be as active as she once was, etc.

How would you handle that? You love her, love her body, but her body will be going through a significant change that you might not like. Would you end up leaving her in time because you were no longer attracted to her, or would you stay (and be unhappy because she was smaller)?

I've noticed a lot of posts from men saying their wife/girlfriend was losing weight, and they weren't happy about it (not passing judgment here  ). From reading recent and past posts, I know you wouldn't happy, but I'm wondering what you would do; if you would take that next step.


----------



## Tad (Sep 15, 2009)

MizzSnakeBite said:


> I've been wondering about this for quite awhile..... what would you do if your significant other (BBW or SSBBW) decided she needed to lose weight for health reasons, not to fit into smaller sized clothing? Her knees and back were painful and had damage that would get worse in time, troubling breathing, couldn't be as active as she once was, etc.
> 
> How would you handle that? You love her, love her body, but her body will be going through a significant change that you might not like. Would you end up leaving her in time because you were no longer attracted to her, or would you stay (and be unhappy because she was smaller)?



Like a lot of things in life, I guess it is priorities, and your ability to suppress desire for immediate gratification. Hopefully in a good relationship the FA will be supportive, because it is the right thing to do. (even take out all the health caveats, it is the fatter partner's body, if she/he feels that it is the right thing to do for themself, then the FA partner should be supportive). That is the priorities part, being a supportive partner over the easy lust fix.

As an FA you may or may not be able to find other things to focus on to keep your lust levels up. You do what you can, and work around the rest, and figure out ways to cope with your feelings about it. That is the 'ability to supress immediate gratification' part. The long term gratification of a long, happy, and healthy relationship should more than replay any lust frustration, one would hope so at least! But you have have to be able to deal with that possible lust frustration in the moment without acting out about it. I think that for some people that is much easier than others, we seem to have different levels of impulse control and so forth, due to a mix of nature and nurture. We can learn to improve what we have, but starting levels do vary a lot.


----------



## rollhandler (Sep 15, 2009)

dcoyote said:


> I have a question. Do all of you have a thing for huge boobs? Mine are tiny, but it seems like most bbws have huge boobs. Does anyone not really care about breast size?
> 
> On a side note, Cors, you are adorable.



I find myself in a bit of a minority here. As far as it goes in relation to a womans bust size and how attractive I see her, I view breast size on a BBW along the lines of less is more, and bigger isn't better to me. A smaller than average chest doesn't make you less attractive nor less feminine. For a guy with my taste a smaller chest is MORE likely to attract me than a larger one. Which basically means that I find fat girls with a C cup or less ...... more attractive than your sisters with larger busts. Small chested BBWs are almost rarer than those who admire them, but we do exist and we like what you got BECAUSE you got ........ not a lot.

Just one more example of nature providing for every type of body shape. Love who you are, as you are.
Rollhandler


----------



## rollhandler (Sep 16, 2009)

MizzSnakeBite said:


> I've been wondering about this for quite awhile..... what would you do if your significant other (BBW or SSBBW) decided she needed to lose weight for health reasons, not to fit into smaller sized clothing? Her knees and back were painful and had damage that would get worse in time, troubling breathing, couldn't be as active as she once was, etc.
> 
> How would you handle that? You love her, love her body, but her body will be going through a significant change that you might not like. Would you end up leaving her in time because you were no longer attracted to her, or would you stay (and be unhappy because she was smaller)?
> 
> I've noticed a lot of posts from men saying their wife/girlfriend was losing weight, and they weren't happy about it (not passing judgment here  ). From reading recent and past posts, I know you wouldn't happy, but I'm wondering what you would do; if you would take that next step.



During a talk show featuring large women and their partners I had cause to address this issue directly with my partner at the time.
This is a paraphrased from an extensive conversation, but the spirit and context should be there.
My response to her was that I loved HER. That being said, I followed it up later in the conversation by noting that although how she looked was my initial attractant, it wasn't why I was still with her now. If she was to lose the weight and her body changed of course I might not be as visually attracted to her body since it was the look of the fat body that turned me on so much however, although she may not be getting as much or as active of a sex life after weight loss as she was experiencing now she would still be the same person I came to know and love. She would still be a beautiful woman just in a differently shaped body. Therefore I saw no reason to leave based solely on if she lost weight, and the level of attraction lost may not even be noticed if she didn't lose enough to change her body drastically, I would not be leaving her if all she did was go on a diet or lost weight. I also pointed out that she wasn't this large when we met and I still found her to be attractive at a smaller size.
Rollhandler


----------



## chicken legs (Sep 18, 2009)

MizzSnakeBite said:


> I've been wondering about this for quite awhile..... what would you do if your significant other (BBW or SSBBW) decided she needed to lose weight for health reasons, not to fit into smaller sized clothing? Her knees and back were painful and had damage that would get worse in time, troubling breathing, couldn't be as active as she once was, etc.
> 
> How would you handle that? You love her, love her body, but her body will be going through a significant change that you might not like. Would you end up leaving her in time because you were no longer attracted to her, or would you stay (and be unhappy because she was smaller)?
> 
> I've noticed a lot of posts from men saying their wife/girlfriend was losing weight, and they weren't happy about it (not passing judgment here  ). From reading recent and past posts, I know you wouldn't happy, but I'm wondering what you would do; if you would take that next step.



The health of the one I love always comes first. I would also take it day by day, because a persons outlook on life changes as their body changes.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 18, 2009)

chicken legs said:


> The health of the one I love always comes first. I would also take it day by day, b*ecause a persons outlook on life changes as their body changes.*



I think that you just made a really interesting point there.....


----------



## Fascinita (Sep 24, 2009)

FAs: With more fat people in existence than ever, and more acceptance of fat developing slowly, how do you handle knowing that more and more of you exist than ever thought possible, and that therefore there is more competition than ever for the affections of the lovely fatties?


----------



## joswitch (Sep 24, 2009)

@Fascinitia - Lolz! Clearly I live in the wrong part of the world! While there might be some more big folks around here, not enough to really notice.. Certainly there's very little visible in terms of fat acceptance.. Oh, look! another gov't anti-fat campaign and endless anti-fat, pro-dangerous-fad-diet newspapers, magazines, tv, film and radio! And a documentary / movie about how feeders are heartless weirdos / murderous psychos respectively! Woo! *skips* Competition-wise? It's almost always been the club doormen! (Answer: make my move before they do!) I guess things are different?? @other side of pond / BBW events (tho I do ok at those - just by being sociable.. and let's face the harsh truth - tall..)


----------



## frankman (Sep 24, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> FAs: With more fat people in existence than ever, and more acceptance of fat developing slowly, how do you handle knowing that more and more of you exist than ever thought possible, and that therefore there is more competition than ever for the affections of the lovely fatties?



The only way a person can handle a situation like this: with a smile and a "go get 'em, tiger". 

Luckily, I got wise before the hype, so I've already got mine.


----------



## Tad (Sep 24, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> FAs: With more fat people in existence than ever, and more acceptance of fat developing slowly, how do you handle knowing that more and more of you exist than ever thought possible, and that therefore there is more competition than ever for the affections of the lovely fatties?



Wow, what an incredibly loaded question. Buried in it are a number of presumptions:

1) that more fat acceptance is developing
2) that more fat acceptance (if we accept 1) _implies _more FA
3) (by implication) that there are actually many more FA than there was previously
4) that the increase posited in 3 means that there are far more FA than 'we' ever thought possible
5) (by implication) that the number of FA is increasing faster than the number of fat people (else why would there be more competition?)
6) that the nature of dating is competitive, such that item four would increase the competition between FA
7) that the competition supposed in 6 is somehow sufficiently new or different that it would have to be 'handled'

I don't think anyone should really answer this question as stated unless they agree with all of those presumptions. If you do, fire away! If not, well, there are probably some related, but much less loaded, questions that could make for interesting discussion too.

Here is my take:

1- is arguable, and would make for an potentially interesting thread. I won't get into it here, as I don't think it is all that key to the question.

2- I don't actually think this is true. It might mean more FA come out of the closet, and it probably does mean that a large number of guys who don't have strong preferences in body types (caring more about presentation and social acceptability/status) will be more comfortable dating women who are some definition of fat.

3- As I don't accept 2, I don't accept this one either, under the understanding that FA means fat admirer, someone who finds the fatter form to be particularly pleasing. If we were using FA to mean "anyone who will date a BBW happily" I'd accept some increase, but I don't think it has been all that dramatic yet (maybe it will in the near future? I don't know)

4- Using the 2nd meaning of FA in my discussion of 3....I still don't think this is more than I ever thought possible. There have been lots of cultures where the fatter form was highly valued, so I've always considered acceptance of that form to be an innate possibility for a lot of people, just not one that was encouraged and supported by our culture. I always looked at the number of couples in their forties or fifties where one or both partner was fat, who seemed very happy together, and I concluded that a lot of people really didn't mind fat, even if they didn't actively prefer it.

5- At the very least I'd say that the fat-accepting population is probably still lagging the number of fat folk. Whether they are starting to catch up, I'm not sure. I suppose it can certainly be argued that the ratio of fat folk to fat accepting folk may be dropping (starting from a fairly low starting point)

6- Personally at least, I never saw it this way. I suppose in situation where there is a real imbalance in the population it may become this way. (and to wildly speculate, in older days where a woman's status and economic security was more dependent upon her husband perhaps romance was viewed more as a competition amongst women, to snag the highest status guys?) But tastes tend to vary enough, even given broadly similar liking of body types, that to me romance has never been a competitive activity. When one puzzle piece doesn't fit into another, you don't say that piece lost, you just say it isn't the right piece for that spot--that is more how I see relationships.

7- Perhaps in some very specific situations there were guys who knew a lot of BBW who were interested in said guys, so that the ratio gave them some form of freedom from the usual constraints of dating, due to competition for those guys? I'm just speculating there, because it is not a situation that I've ever been in nor is it one that people I've chatted with on-line have mentioned being in. It has always been pretty much romance as usual, that wonderful, painful, process of meeting people, trying to get to know them, finding someone that you match up with seemingly well, then finding out over time if that fit is as good as it looked at first. So I don't really how more people being size accepting would much change things. I suppose if the number of people who preferred fat folk massively increased, to exceed the number of fat folk, it could change things to a situation where a (first definition) FA might find they had a hard time even meeting single BBW, and that would make things harder to handle, I suppose.

Sorry for the length of reply, but I have a strong dislike of loaded questions.

Of course, for me I long ago left the single ranks and hope not to return to them, so however you phrased the question it would be not-applicable to me.


----------



## Littleghost (Sep 24, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> FAs: With more fat people in existence than ever, and more acceptance of fat developing slowly, how do you handle knowing that more and more of you exist than ever thought possible, and that therefore there is more competition than ever for the affections of the lovely fatties?



If there's more competition out there, I've either never encountered it, or it must be far more shadowy and ninja-like than the competition other guys have. I don't date a lot but half the girls I have said that I was the first guy they met that specifically liked le fatties. Although maybe the dates that stood me up were actually whisked away by an unknown FA interloper. This could change everything. :blink:


----------



## Tad (Sep 24, 2009)

Fixing some garbled wording.

I wrote in my response to presumption 5

"...I suppose it can certainly be argued that the ratio of _fat folk to fat accepting folk _may be _dropping_ (starting from a fairly low starting point)"

That should have been:
"....I suppose it can certainly be argued that the ratio of _fat accepting folk to fat folk_ may be _increasing_ (starting from a fairly low starting point)"


----------



## Jon Blaze (Sep 24, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> FAs: With more fat people in existence than ever, and more acceptance of fat developing slowly, how do you handle knowing that more and more of you exist than ever thought possible, and that therefore there is more competition than ever for the affections of the lovely fatties?



First: +1 to Tad's splitting of the question. I'm not going to make a long post though. If I did, then that's a great framework to begin it on.

As for your question: It's a combination of accepting that potential fate of more competition, but also finding more acceptance overall as a great thing. I don't mind the idea that more people like me could potentially come out.


----------



## superodalisque (Sep 24, 2009)

joswitch said:


> @Fascinitia - Lolz! Clearly I live in the wrong part of the world! While there might be some more big folks around here, not enough to really notice.. Certainly there's very little visible in terms of fat acceptance.. Oh, look! another gov't anti-fat campaign and endless anti-fat, pro-dangerous-fad-diet newspapers, magazines, tv, film and radio! And a documentary / movie about how feeders are heartless weirdos / murderous psychos respectively! Woo! *skips* Competition-wise? It's almost always been the club doormen! (Answer: make my move before they do!) I guess things are different?? @other side of pond / BBW events (tho I do ok at those - just by being sociable.. and let's face the harsh truth - tall..)



tons of FAs from the UK come to the US where they feel its more acceptable. they are all over it. i can't swing a cat without encountering an FA from the UK. its true IRL and especially true online. its a shame people don't stand up for themselves more at home. if they could there would be more acceptance for everyone.


----------



## Fascinita (Sep 24, 2009)

joswitch said:


> Certainly there's very little visible in terms of fat acceptance..





Tad said:


> 1) that more fat acceptance is developing



Tad, jos:

New question:

*So, does this mean you're pessimistic on fat acceptance?*

If so, I'm sorry to hear that. In my own lifetime, I have witnessed a new generation of fatties emerge who are loud and proud of who they are. There was once a time when, if you were a young fat woman, the generally accepted wisdom was that you probably would never find a man to love you, that you shouldn't show your body because it was offensive, that you'd be easy to manipulate because you'd be grateful for any attention at all, and worse. I don't think young fat people buy into this so easily anymore.

So... just to say, I've seen major strides. Your posts are depressing, indeed, but perhaps I've misinterpreted. Would you be able to say a little more about your understanding of the current status of fat acceptance viz. "more fat acceptance = more FAs"?

Oh, and Tad, I certainly didn't mean to offend you with my "loaded" question. My apologies. And of course I meant "out of the closet" FAs. What self-accepting fattie would date a closet case?


----------



## frankman (Sep 24, 2009)

Loaded questions are just questions with weight issues.

bwahahhahahahahha, I crack myself up sometimes...


----------



## Fascinita (Sep 24, 2009)

frankman said:


> Loaded questions are just questions with weight issues.
> 
> bwahahhahahahahha, I crack myself up sometimes...



You said a mouthful!

And how about those loaded answers, eh? Hubba hubba. :smitten: Nyuk nyuk nyuk.

Thank you! Thank you very much! I'll be here all week.


----------



## rollhandler (Sep 25, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> FAs: With more fat people in existence than ever, and more acceptance of fat developing slowly, how do you handle knowing that more and more of you exist than ever thought possible, and that therefore there is more competition than ever for the affections of the lovely fatties?



I have met a lot of guys that claim to like big girls. But, when discussing women in general these guy like Big Booty and Big Breasted women that are typically thin everywhere else on the body. Many others claim that they would "DO" a _bigger_ girl because she has bigger tits but not a fat girl.
In my opinion this is not an FA, although by extension this might be considered the extreme low end of the spectrum and in this context, NOT competition.

In the areas of the country that I have travelled and lived in and conversed with people on and off the net I find myself rare enough still to be almost an anomaly in most peoples eyes, although almost everyone knows someone who is friends with someone else that knows someone who has tastes similar to mine. Many act as if they have discovered a legendary being of myth that they have heard of but never seen in real life. The rest of them already have a fat partner on their arms and in their lives, although most had never heard the term FA before.

Most of the women that I've had the opportunity to discuss issues of size or size acceptance with (outside of this type of closed environment) claim that I am the first of my kind that they have ever met. I believe moreso that I am merely the first to admit publicly this preference to them. Some claim to have talked with many but have never met an FA in person. (or just never found any guys that would admit to the preference outside of "the net")

I know there is competition. I also realize that not everyone is as outgoing or waves their FA flag as high and proudly as I do. As acceptable as it is to claim FA status in this modern society, I don't believe that there are any more FAs per se, just fewer operating below the radar. 

Rollhandler


----------



## Tad (Sep 25, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> New question:
> 
> *So, does this mean you're pessimistic on fat acceptance?*



A loooonnnngggg time ago (early days of the old Dims boards) there was a small discussion of the future of size acceptance. This would have been maybe '97 or so? Anyway, at the time to me it seemed that given our already fattening society some form of increased size acceptance was pretty much inevitable. As best as I can remember I suggested that it could go in one of two broad directions:
- Accept that size was not a measure of merit, and stop focusing on it so much.
- Continue to be size biased, but up the limit of what was considered an acceptable size.

I was hoping for the former, but suspecting the latter.

I dont get to travel much these days, Im not all that plugged into popular culture, and while my wife and I are both obese by the medical charts we are not all that big, and neither are any of our close friends or relatives. Also we are both around forty, our son is only in grade six and has not yet left kid behind for teen, so we really are not plugged into the views of young adults. It is very possible that the view from here does not line up with the view from vantage points with a broader view on things.

From my very limited view point, my impression is that things have mostly gone the latter way, just raising the limit of acceptable fatness until very recently. When most stores once stopped at a womans 13/14, now a lot carry a 16 or an 18, and in most cases even that 13/14 is bigger than it used to be. When the trend was for a strip of uncovered midriff on young women a few years back, those bare strips were not only on the thin and toned midriffs. Ive noticed more young couples where one partner was plump, and on the rare occasion when Ive been around the hot clubs in town some of the young women waiting in line to get in, dressed up to the nines, were fairly plump. All of which is pretty natural when a larger portion of the population is plump, but if attitudes had not shifted at all then a large number of plump people would have joined the societal invisible.

But what all of that is, really, is keeping the bar of acceptability in the same place, percentile speaking. That is, say the fattest ten percent of a given demographic get treated poorly, and the fattest couple of percent get treated downright brutally. It just happens that how fat you have to be in order to be in that top couple of percent has gone up quite a bit. Or to phrase it differently, this is just a shift in what is considered socially fat versus what is considered medically fat. It is not better treatment of those who are still considered socially fat.

In the last year or two Ive felt, I think, a few small breathes of more overall size accepting air. Things that Ive felt so far are mostly marveling that some fat people are fit and healthy, or are exploitive shows like Biggest Loser or More to Love. My impression is that this sort of thing is often the thin edge of the wedge to normalize a previously invisible segment. When such a group is first brought into pop culture it is mostly to gawk at, because they are different from what is usually seen. Along the lines of this model we should be hoping for a Will and Grace type show, playing up all the fat stereotypes but with mostly sympathetic characters. After that it could start to seem edgy to show fat people who dont match the stereotypes, and maybe fat folk get seen as normal people by pop culture in another decade or two.

Maybe being a key word in there.. I dont think any of that is inevitable. Our culture is more than capable of continuing to view the fattest couple percentile as being beyond the pale and treating them like crud. Weve done it to much larger groups for generations in the past, so I dont think there is any guarantee that we wont continue to do it to the fattest part of our population in the future. I really hope not, but the drive to degrade our fellow human beings seems to be an abiding one within our race?

Id add a third possibility too, that I didnt think of back then: that we pathologize fatness. That we treat it as an illness that we need to cure, and try to find all the cures that will work for different people. It may not be universally possible to cure those who are already fat, so some of this may focus on prevention, with say pregnant women being hounded to eat just right to make sure they dont doom their babies to the horrors of being fat. In which case the fattest part of the population may get treated with a mixture of sympathy (poor dear, they havent found the cure for your type of fatness yet?) and even more scorn (They can fix fatness now you know, if you are still fat it must be because you are too lazy/incompetent to get the cure, or else you are freak who wants to stay fat.). 

Im still hoping that size loses its stigma, and gets treated like just one of those other things that not everyone will like, but that are not considered matter of merit. That it be up there with freckles, dancing ability, or whether or not you like catssomething of only casual notice amongst friends and maybe moderate interest for a romantic partner. Im just not counting on it.


----------



## Tad (Sep 25, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> Tad, jos:
> 
> Oh, and Tad, I certainly didn't mean to offend you with my "loaded" question. My apologies. And of course I meant "out of the closet" FAs. What self-accepting fattie would date a closet case?



You didn't offend me, just aggravated me  I probably over reacted--there have been a few questions on the BBW board whose phrasing has irked me for similar reasons, but obviously I wasn't going to argue wording there. So when one landed on the FA board I guess I let out some pent up frustration on it. 

A better response on my part would probably have been "Fascinata, would you be willing to work with wording more like 'Given the increase of fat people and fat acceptance, do you as an FA feel that you have more competition for BBW? If so, how is that affecting you?' I think this wording makes less presumptions." 

I'm sorry I got aggressively analytical instead...by the time I'd calmed down and thought of the better answer, it was far too late to edit my post. I should know better by now than to post when I'm wound up, but it seems to be a lesson I have to trip over occasionally still.

With regards to "And of course I meant "out of the closet" FAs. What self-accepting fattie would date a closet case?" I'd just say that you didn't restrict your question to self-accepting fatties, nor does the general usage of FA mean only "out of the closet FA." Maybe what you _meant _was clear to some others, but it wasn't to me.


----------



## Cors (Sep 25, 2009)

Tad said:


> With regards to "And of course I meant "out of the closet" FAs. What self-accepting fattie would date a closet case?" I'd just say that you didn't restrict your question to self-accepting fatties, nor does the general usage of FA mean only "out of the closet FA." Maybe what you _meant _was clear to some others, but it wasn't to me.



I felt the same way, Tad. Replace FAs with gay people, and I would probably have reacted like you did.

Fascinita, I see my appreciation for the bigger female form as part of my sexuality, along with my love for women and BDSM. I can't speak for others but I believe that my sexuality will not change whether society approves of it or not. If there is indeed more competition, well, I don't think it will affect me that much since I am already accustomed to having a tiny pool of women to date but I can't say for sure. If anything, I hope that fat people being the norm destigmatizes fat and that being spoilt for choice will make the BBWs who feel like they can't meet FAs in real life or get a regular guy's attention more confident. 

Tangent: Fat is subjective, so what makes an FA is subjective as well. As society gets fatter, the cut-off for what people consider fat is raised. If 300lb women become the norm, will a guy who fancies BBWs still be considered an FA or just a regular chap compared to the guy who like girls 500lb and above?


----------



## bbwsrule (Sep 25, 2009)

rainyday said:


> On Dims, do you view women who post cheeky/pin-up type photos here as more confident than women who don't? If so, why?



Never thought about that before. I agree w/most other posters, believing it is either confidence in their own beauty, or the desire to feel same though taking concrete action. I would guess it is usually about body image rather than other types of "insecurities".


----------



## bbwsrule (Sep 25, 2009)

Tau said:


> If you could change your preference and be attracted to thinner women/men would you? Or is being an FA something you actually love?



Great question Tau (though I have seen it before). Definitely not! I get such intense enjoyment out of being a FA and it hard to imagine the same coming from being a TA (thin admirer??).  That being said, I am at least somewhat attracted to thinner women as well, and for an LTA would always take someone who I get along with well even if the attraction isn't quite as strong.


----------



## bbwsrule (Sep 25, 2009)

BubbleButtBabe said:


> Why do some FAs never walk up and talk to a woman they are attracted to? Why do they either follow her around a store or make those mmmm sounds when she goes by?



Mmmm...never did that but I was almost paralyzingly shy when I was short of adult. Coming to terms with being an FA made that more difficult, but I never did the "creep" things you are describing.

I might find a woman very attractive but if I don't get any positive vibes from her I won't try to initiate something (this is theoretical only as I'm married).
I am not attracted (beyond the purely physical level, which isn't enough w/o mutual attraction) to a woman who is not attracted to me, and has at least some self-confidence.

No one wants to tell a fat woman she is attractive and get told off as creepy. Of course it is too forward to say something like this to someone you just met IMO anyway. There is time for that later if there are other attractions.


----------



## bbwsrule (Sep 25, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> THisis for da FAs :
> 
> FAs, what do you find exciting about touching your own bodies? I relly wanna know.
> 
> Thanks,



Maybe I don't understand exactly what you are asking, but as far as touching my own body & excitement, that means erogenous zones. For me, nipples (and of course genitals) are tops. Of course I don't do any of that when I'm making love to my wife.

I don't touch myself to improve my body image, and have no body image issues. From what I read this might be an issue with some women (if I understand what they are saying).


----------



## bbwsrule (Sep 25, 2009)

dcoyote said:


> I have a question. Do all of you have a thing for huge boobs? Mine are tiny, but it seems like most bbws have huge boobs. Does anyone not really care about breast size?
> 
> On a side note, Cors, you are adorable.



I like big but not huge breasts personally. But that doesn't mean a woman with different size breasts won't be attractive to me, and from the answers to plenty of others as well.


----------



## bbwsrule (Sep 25, 2009)

Keb said:


> FAs often ask what they can do to help their beloveds become more confident and happy as they are. I'm wondering what FAs think we BBWs can do to encourage them--how can we help you to feel more confident in, say, asking us out, or more comfortable telling others how smokin' hot we are?
> 
> (I'm not trying to suggest that it is anyone's responsibility to create the kind of confidence that we're looking for in other people--we can't do that anyway--but I do think we have a shared, common goal in finding ways to connect with and uplift one another in facing a less-than-friendly world outside our community.)



I do tell my wife all the time how smokin' hot she is and she certainly appreciates it. BTW, is that a trekkie (Star Trek) sweater in your avatar?
It's cute regardless.

I told my exwife the same thing but she had no interest in hearing it, so you can lead a horse to water but...


----------



## bbwsrule (Sep 25, 2009)

MizzSnakeBite said:


> I've been wondering about this for quite awhile..... what would you do if your significant other (BBW or SSBBW) decided she needed to lose weight for health reasons, not to fit into smaller sized clothing? Her knees and back were painful and had damage that would get worse in time, troubling breathing, couldn't be as active as she once was, etc.
> 
> How would you handle that? You love her, love her body, but her body will be going through a significant change that you might not like. Would you end up leaving her in time because you were no longer attracted to her, or would you stay (and be unhappy because she was smaller)?
> 
> I've noticed a lot of posts from men saying their wife/girlfriend was losing weight, and they weren't happy about it (not passing judgment here  ). From reading recent and past posts, I know you wouldn't happy, but I'm wondering what you would do; if you would take that next step.



I've never seen the following thought in a post before, so I'll say it: our biggest and most potent sexual organ is our brain, so we can imagine whatever we want while making love if what we are looking at doesn't do enough for us. A lot of people already do this already, I suspect, if they don't like how their partner has changed over time but want to love them and have a good romance with them.

Health has to trump personal preferences for fatness IMO. So I would never reject my wife for losing (or gaining) weight. Our message as FA's might be
1) I DO find you attractive heavier, something that might never have occurred to you before, and 2) if you don't mind being heavier I would sure appreciate it. But, don't hurt yourself! And of course, 3) I'll love you anyway if the other stuff remains worthwhile (I.e. I don't mind weight change but treating me like shit -- no).


----------



## bbwsrule (Sep 25, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> FAs: With more fat people in existence than ever, and more acceptance of fat developing slowly, how do you handle knowing that more and more of you exist than ever thought possible, and that therefore there is more competition than ever for the affections of the lovely fatties?



I do think there is gradually more fat acceptance, but mainly by those who don't mind/prefer a partner who is fat. It might be getting more polarized, as those who have no empathy/attraction with fat become more adamant about it.

Regardless, I love to see happy couples, especially with BBW's involved so I don't feel any envy. There are plenty of fish in the sea if you work on being the type of person that others would find attractive (though you might throw many of them back, so to speak). Not being totally restrictive on what you can be attracted to helps a lot as well of course.


----------



## Fascinita (Sep 25, 2009)

Tad said:


> So when one landed on the FA board I guess I let out some pent up frustration on it.



Ah, I see.

Then my work here is done. :bow:

For now.


----------



## StarWitness (Sep 25, 2009)




----------



## Keb (Sep 26, 2009)

bbwsrule said:


> I do tell my wife all the time how smokin' hot she is and she certainly appreciates it. BTW, is that a trekkie (Star Trek) sweater in your avatar?
> It's cute regardless.
> 
> I told my exwife the same thing but she had no interest in hearing it, so you can lead a horse to water but...



It is  There's a full pic of it up in one of the threads about the movie. 

So...FAs...what color hair do you prefer on your BBWs? (Or BHMs?)


----------



## superodalisque (Sep 26, 2009)

rollhandler said:


> I have met a lot of guys that claim to like big girls. But, when discussing women in general these guy like Big Booty and Big Breasted women that are typically thin everywhere else on the body. Many others claim that they would "DO" a _bigger_ girl because she has bigger tits but not a fat girl.
> In my opinion this is not an FA, although by extension this might be considered the extreme low end of the spectrum and in this context, NOT competition.
> 
> In the areas of the country that I have travelled and lived in and conversed with people on and off the net I find myself rare enough still to be almost an anomaly in most peoples eyes, although almost everyone knows someone who is friends with someone else that knows someone who has tastes similar to mine. Many act as if they have discovered a legendary being of myth that they have heard of but never seen in real life. The rest of them already have a fat partner on their arms and in their lives, although most had never heard the term FA before.
> ...



as an ssbbw i can honestly say there hasn't been a day even at my worst--in a hospital and feeling and looking horrible, that i haven't been hit on. its does not matter what part of the country or the world that i am in for that matter i think other BBWs and SSBBWs who are also open to and aware of the fact that they are attractive beings are finding that as well. people can sense it when you are in touch with that. and more and more of us women who are fat are these days. i think it has made and is making a big difference in how we are viewed and approached. we have managed to put ourselves on people's menus where we have never been before. we now exist sexually for a lot of people where we were once invisible beneath our tents and our tears. do you really think that FAs are truly consuming enough BBW porn for it to be number 3 in that industry all on thier own? i think the big push for change has come with simple exposure.

i think FAs have a different perspective because they have been maybe made fun of and feel sensitive about thier preference. they still hear all of the "she's too big for me" scared bar talk. and probably other men have as well. but those guys who used to wait until thier friends were out of the room to hit on us are finally deciding little by little to get what they want too. then there are the guys who have never cared what anyone thought and have never operated beneath anyone's radar because they never thought there was anythig less worthy about thier partner in public or at home. they've never even questioned themselves over what they like. 
being an FA you might really have no way of knowing exactly how much interest we get. you may hear a lot of complaints. but remember, quite a few of those are generally coming from BBWs who are lovely but still trying to get comfortable in the world and thier bodies. some of these gorgeous and wonderful don't even realize when they are being hit on or they can't believe its real. what about all of the BBWs who always were comfortable and didn't have to be in the community just to feel safe enough to try to have a relationship because they were lucky enough to grow up without having people try to abuse them over thier weight in the first place? lets be honest, for most of the ladies here this place is a prop to replace the support they should have gotten when they were girls. for the rest its a place that once they realized they were needed is a place to actually be the prop.

it seems to me that its not just SA thats changing. its everything. people are not finding the reward and protections by adhereing to social pressures that they once did. and i think thier eyes are more open to what it takes for real happiness. this is happening around things like age and race as well. being different in your relationship is even gaining cache in certian respects. there might even come a day when its trendy to be an FA. after all, SSBBWs are paticularly rare and exotic in thier own way. there is a ton of competition for us already whether we are aware of it or not from all over the world and we are hardly seen anywhere except the US. and as i've said before many times its not only FAs who find women who are fat attractive. and also it was not always that thin women were thought to be attractive. maybe the pendulum is beginning its swing again? who knows? in light of that what would be your reaction other than to discount the entire idea that there people might be finding fat women attractive as well? i'm not sure the person who formulated the question was using the term FA as a representative of the card carrying political FA. i think she was just speaking of it in terms of the competition for female desireability. what if the day came when you felt you had to compete in a larger pool for a woman who was fat no matter what her size or shape?

i think its also a question worthy of a direct answer as well simply because many BBWs and SSBBWs have the choice o having WLS which they did not inthe past. so instead of them being trapped unhappily in fat bodies now they have a choice. how many would you think would reman in america if they actually had the choice and the healthcare financial wherewithall to have the surgery? i once asked if the women here would take the skinny pill if it was available to them. i think the FAs here were shocked at the number who would. that alone would be a good reason to answer the question straight on ithout any underlyingassumptions.


----------



## joswitch (Sep 26, 2009)

@superO - if I do move to USA or such it'd not be about "acceptance" per se.. Just more BBWs around- therefore more chances to "click" with someone... I do plenty of "standing up" right here where I live, but there were still only ?2? BBWs out of loads of people that i saw out in the venue last night for instance.. (there are other +ve and -ve reasons I currently remain here in UK) ... @Fascinita - i forgot the umpteen BBWs I've run into over the last ten years who are already taken/married! So actually competition has always been pretty fierce - regardless of what "flag" their fellas were flying.. I just don't normally think about those already partnered women in that way.. No I'm not pessimistic - because (a recent revelation [to me]) pessimism=self fulfilling prophecy and optimism (justified or not) is a baseline requirement for success personally/politically whatever ... @superO - I've always known/suspected that any of my former LTR lovers would have taken the magic skinny pill.. even if the cost was losing what we had together as lovers.. either "magic payment-wise" or due to how I / she / we might then feel.. And my most recent ex proved that suspicion to be correct (sort of.. It was a bit tougher for her than a "magic pill", but..).. So no, not shocked at all by your survey ... I think what's behind your and Fascinita's points is "hey all you FAs who got away with endless BS - cos BBWs thought you were rarer than Unicorn's poop - how do you feel now those days are numbered?" Well it's never been like that for me -dating BBWs has always meant going the extra mile... so... *shrugs*


----------



## Dusselchen (Sep 26, 2009)

Tau said:


> If you could change your preference and be attracted to thinner women/men would you? Or is being an FA something you actually love?



I'm really undecided.
On the one hand I'd shout "YES! Of course!" because it would make many things so much easier (fatphobic family+ BHM boyfriend= really difficult), on the other hand... well this fantastic guy I'm living with wouldn't be sexy for me anymore. Still a great person with a nice character but not sexy. 
So, right now, I'd say no, I wouldn't.



Keb said:


> So...FAs...what color hair do you prefer on your BBWs? (Or BHMs?)



I don't prefer a certain hair colour (although I have a little problem with red... childhood memories I think), but I love long haired BHMs :wubu:


----------



## bbwsrule (Sep 26, 2009)

Keb said:


> It is  There's a full pic of it up in one of the threads about the movie.
> 
> So...FAs...what color hair do you prefer on your BBWs? (Or BHMs?)



Both of my wives are blondes, but that is random. I think a woman can be stunning with almost any normal hair color, including gray. Some women do seem to be more suited to one color than another but not in a way I can quantify.


----------



## rollhandler (Sep 26, 2009)

Keb said:


> So...FAs...what color hair do you prefer on your BBWs? (Or BHMs?)



If it were something I could control I would say any color she naturally had up to and including grey as she aged. Other than that I don't really prefer one color or shade over another.
Rollhandler


----------



## superodalisque (Sep 27, 2009)

joswitch said:


> @superO - if I do move to USA or such it'd not be about "acceptance" per se.. Just more BBWs around- therefore more chances to "click" with someone... I do plenty of "standing up" right here where I live, but there were still only ?2? BBWs out of loads of people that i saw out in the venue last night for instance.. (there are other +ve and -ve reasons I currently remain here in UK) ... @Fascinita - i forgot the umpteen BBWs I've run into over the last ten years who are already taken/married! So actually competition has always been pretty fierce - regardless of what "flag" their fellas were flying.. I just don't normally think about those already partnered women in that way.. No I'm not pessimistic - because (a recent revelation [to me]) pessimism=self fulfilling prophecy and optimism (justified or not) is a baseline requirement for success personally/politically whatever ... @superO - I've always known/suspected that any of my former LTR lovers would have taken the magic skinny pill.. even if the cost was losing what we had together as lovers.. either "magic payment-wise" or due to how I / she / we might then feel.. And my most recent ex proved that suspicion to be correct (sort of.. It was a bit tougher for her than a "magic pill", but..).. So no, not shocked at all by your survey ... I think what's behind your and Fascinita's points is "hey all you FAs who got away with endless BS - cos BBWs thought you were rarer than Unicorn's poop - how do you feel now those days are numbered?" Well it's never been like that for me -dating BBWs has always meant going the extra mile... so... *shrugs*



yeah i think you got the spirit of the thing we are probably trying to issue a wake-up call that people have been in denial over forever. i just wonder if people have woken up and smelled the coffee here yet enough to take full positive advantage of great women they have around them. it seems there is the impression that people can poop where they live because there always seems to be another willing one around the corner. even though there will be a lot more BBWs for you here in the US i have the confidence that you will sensitive enough not to waste opportunities with the fantastic women you'll be able to meet. if not lovers, then respectful friends. in the subdivision where i live half were SSBBWs when i moved here ten years ago. now there are just a few. most have had WLS. i've been talking about how much more difficult it might be in the future to find a BBW here and even moreso SSBBWs but no one seems to take it seriously or want to. i wonder why that is?


----------



## joswitch (Sep 27, 2009)

superodalisque said:


> yeah i think you got the spirit of the thing we are probably trying to issue a wake-up call that people have been in denial over forever. i just wonder if people have woken up and smelled the coffee here yet enough to take full positive advantage of great women they have around them. it seems there is the impression that people can poop where they live because there always seems to be another willing one around the corner. even though there will be a lot more BBWs for you here in the US i have the confidence that you will sensitive enough not to waste opportunities with the fantastic women you'll be able to meet. if not lovers, then respectful friends. in the subdivision where i live half were SSBBWs when i moved here ten years ago. now there are just a few. most have had WLS. i've been talking about how much more difficult it might be in the future to find a BBW here and even moreso SSBBWs but no one seems to take it seriously or want to. i wonder why that is?



Errr... maybe the whole "almost all SSBBWs will have WLS" prophecy depresses the hell out of them??

I'm not going to start on WLS here - cos it's the wrong place to do so - just


----------



## frankman (Sep 27, 2009)

Keb said:


> [...]
> So...FAs...what color hair do you prefer on your BBWs?



Curly/wavy (natural) redheads are something to behold (especially in combination with green or blue eyes).

On the other hand, my girlfriend's a brunette, and I really like her hair too. And some of my women friends have great blonde hair, so in all reality I don't seem to have extreme preferences one way or another...

But redheads are great. It's like an added bonus of wow.


----------



## rollhandler (Oct 6, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> THisis for da FAs :
> 
> FAs, what do you find exciting about touching your own bodies? I relly wanna know.
> 
> Thanks,



Depends on why I am touching as to what I may find exciting about it.
If I am looking to self pleasure I imagine the same types of exciting feelings and sensations physically that women would get from touching themselves as they self pleasure just in different areas of the body.

If I am trying to turn my woman on and get her either interested or more interested, I get tingles and excitement directing her attention and watching her reactions as I stroke or move my hands over the parts she admires and has specific interest in. These areas get more sensitive the more excited I get in relation to how much attention she gives me and how erotic I can make the touching look to her and feel to me.

Rollhandler


----------



## Silver Fox (Oct 15, 2009)

I do enjoy being an FA and don't really want to change that. I really love fat women. I love the way they look and love even more the way they feel! However, being an FA is somewhat problematic in this particular society. Sometimes I do wish I wasn't an FA because it would make living in this society a little simpler. The biggest problem is not that I am concerned about what others think of me because of my preference, but because of what the societal pressures do to the women I adore. As I have posted elsewhere, my wife of 9 years just had WLS and it is really putting a strain on our marriage.


----------

