# One Completely Random Sentence...



## largenlovely

that relates to what you are thinking at this moment yet has nothing to do with absolutely anything, yet you feel the need to get it out....go ahead...let 'er rip 

I'll start....

This bra totally makes my boobs look awesome!!!


----------



## Mathias

This heartburn is keeping me awake!


----------



## CarlaSixx

I can't believe they split 

(Scarlett and Ryan)


----------



## Linda

I love waking up to Marvin Gaye singing sexual healing in my ear.


----------



## KHayes666

They're gonna call it a hard foul.....THEY'RE GONNA CALL IT A HARD FOUL???? THESE GUYS ARE RIDICULOUS!


----------



## The Orange Mage

What planet are you from and do they serve beer there?


----------



## spiritangel

i think I need to make something for dinner sooo sleepy though


----------



## largenlovely

Holy crap i dreamt that i died..total creepiness


----------



## Linda

I am having a great week!!!


----------



## CarlaSixx

This guy is _totally_ lying to me... and I hate it.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Fuck, I hope dinner is done soon.


----------



## Linda

Rowdy kids at Cub Scouts might just lead to alcoholic parents. Please Christmas hurry up!


----------



## AuntHen

Hiding certain things from someone, can be the same as lying to them!


----------



## largenlovely

Dayum that steak was good!!!


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Those Mother Effing Gibdo's better be easy now that I wasted 3 hours getting this damn mask.


----------



## KnottyOne

Why is no college basketball on tonight?!?!?!


----------



## Luv2BNaughty

I can't believe there's only one more season of Dexter...google time!


----------



## spiritangel

I'm awake entrance way tidied up two out of 3 off the checklist


----------



## CarlaSixx

A buzz from wine will nver ever be as good as a buzz from any other alcohol known to man. I wanna call it a night from feeling blah, instead of feeling happy and hyper like I usually do from a buzz.


----------



## PamelaLois

Craig Ferguson is oddly hot


----------



## bmann0413

Back to the Future is awesome.


----------



## JonesT

Damn why am I still awake??


----------



## spiritangel

Im starving where are my groceries


----------



## Linda

Can the dryer work any faster??


----------



## 1love_emily

I feel like there is a heard of fluffy hamsters migrating around my head, nose, and chest.


----------



## KnottyOne

It's 730 in the morning, why am I up?


----------



## spiritangel

omg am I really crazy enough to sing on camera again


----------



## Your Plump Princess

I can't believe I wasted 7 hours for nothing.. so much for Majora's Mask now. DAMNIT


----------



## bonified

where the fuck is my lighter


----------



## biggirlsrock

Humpty Dumpty was pushed! :doh:


----------



## largenlovely

I like that we have so much in common


----------



## CastingPearls

The Viagra story still makes me laugh so hard I have to pee.


----------



## Ho Ho Tai

What would happen if we beamed this drivel into outer space and the aliens picket it up?
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----------



## ThinkingFA

In the whole scheme of cosmic justice, why are people allowed to be sick on their birthdays?


----------



## mossystate

what man worth his salt or his cayenne pepper wants a simpering seal clapping kind of woman


----------



## mossystate

oh, hey, listen to the seagulls in the city


----------



## superodalisque

i'd rather see torchwood


----------



## CastingPearls

I can't eat pie in front of this pervert.


----------



## littlefairywren

Forget the pervert, and tell me what kind of pie it is!


----------



## CastingPearls

littlefairywren said:


> Forget the pervert, and tell me what kind of pie it is!


hot caramel apple crumb


----------



## Linda

Ouch! Ouch! Ouuuuch!


----------



## mossystate

I am bored with food.


----------



## luscious_lulu

all this talk of pudding is making me hungry


----------



## bonified

if ya don't eat yer meat, ya cannae have any puddin'


----------



## spiritangel

It would be nice if people would step up and fight for what they want rather than be willing to walk away at the first hurdle


----------



## biggirlsrock

What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?


----------



## spiritangel

is it wrong that I saw the IBond tool and basically want it because its a pink hot glue gun??

oh and how hot is josh groban


----------



## Luv2BNaughty

Glad I have a short work day today.


----------



## Tanuki

I like honey badgers.. wait, why are there crumbs in my bed?


----------



## largenlovely

whew...dodged a bullet


----------



## Linda

I could use a nap.


----------



## Dmitra

We're all riding a teeter-totter into tomorrow.


----------



## CastingPearls

This lip plumper really works.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Turkey with stuffing


----------



## largenlovely

does it sting? i thought i heard that it stings when you use it



CastingPearls said:


> This lip plumper really works.


----------



## CastingPearls

largenlovely said:


> does it sting? i thought i heard that it stings when you use it


DuWop Lip Venom 2nd Sin---stings no more than a candy cane!!!


----------



## largenlovely

oh fabulous  i will have to try that 



CastingPearls said:


> DuWop Lip Venom 2nd Sin---stings no more than a candy cane!!!


----------



## luscious_lulu

My ass hurts.


----------



## Linda

*chokes on water*


But I don't want to goooo.


----------



## ButlerGirl09

I feel like death...


----------



## Linda

Got out of that one.


----------



## luscious_lulu

luscious_lulu said:


> My ass hurts.


I need new sofa.


----------



## Meddlecase

What a nice sandwhich.


----------



## Linda

This movie is a snoozer


----------



## littlefairywren

I need to escape for a wee bit to clear my head.


----------



## spiritangel

Im hungry but I dont know what I want to eat


----------



## stephbreezy

Ive said the word "BALLS" today like 20 times, I think its a very funny word.


----------



## Mathias

I prefer Black Ops's combat training to the actual online.


----------



## JonesT

I have no idea what to do tomorrow


----------



## Dmitra

Prune Juice: A warrior's drink.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

How can I win him over, I hope I'm not scaring him o----Ooooh, I want some Chewy Peanut Butter cookies, too!


----------



## Gingembre

I am really in need of a carb fest!


----------



## Heyyou

The sleepiness is interfering with my ability to think and also if i shall sit up and watch a movie.


----------



## CastingPearls

Oh fer chrissakes I think they're swingers.


----------



## largenlovely

lmao that's always an unsettling revelation when it's something you're not into. The idea of that doesn't cross my mind until it's blatantly obvious and i'm all, Oh Wow!! i had no idea!! lol



CastingPearls said:


> Oh fer chrissakes I think they're swingers.


----------



## Heyyou

Baby, I like it! (In _The Situation_ voice)


----------



## KnottyOne

Fuck the dolphins, I need a better football team.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

FML I wanna play it again! UGH


----------



## luscious_lulu

Time for a bubble bath!


----------



## bmann0413

This guy don't sit right with me, Lois.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

I wonder if it's my weight...


----------



## Mathias

What do you mean they BLEW UP the Deathstar?!


----------



## stephbreezy

I need some penetration.


----------



## CastingPearls

Doesn't anyone have any class anymore?


----------



## JonesT

Ugh why did I fall for it.....again


----------



## spiritangel

why is it the house is full of amazing potential meals and all I feel like at the moment is plain basic food


----------



## Linda

Where did that come from?


----------



## spiritangel

somedays being a woman sux


----------



## toni

I burnt the cheese...AGAIN! I hate that....


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Ugh, So torn..


----------



## luscious_lulu

Thank you apple for making my mistake better and giving me a discount too!


----------



## snuggletiger

Somewhere out there someone is walking down the street Cranston.


----------



## largenlovely

my doctor now says i can't exercise..oh the irony


----------



## Gingembre

I feel sick.


----------



## JonesT

I am soo cold


----------



## snuggletiger

largenlovely said:


> my doctor now says i can't exercise..oh the irony



You need a butler. Don't feel bad I can't exercise either.


----------



## Meddlecase

My stomach is full of fuck.


----------



## largenlovely

i could probably use a butler lol...but after a year of exercising now i got all this energy and no place to put it...i need a hobby lol



snuggletiger said:


> You need a butler. Don't feel bad I can't exercise either.


----------



## lalatx

Hey that truck has no doors.


----------



## Mathias

I'm not freezing my ass off at 3 in the morning to look at the moon.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

I hope what I wrote doesn't sound stupid, I hope he likes it..


----------



## CarlaSixx

I hate my eyelashes and my eyes are STILL watering from watching the moon so intently tonight


----------



## spiritangel

my mum is awesome, we have our differences and the size thing is an issue but she is just awesome sometimes


----------



## CastingPearls

You are one strange dude.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

I can't believe she might lose her job before christmas..


----------



## luscious_lulu

Fuck, fuck, fucking shit


----------



## Linda

What are you thinking?!?!?!?!?!?!?!


----------



## Mathias

This song is awesome!


----------



## mossystate

Nothing in that bag for me.


----------



## nitewriter

Yeah, I'd turn the other cheek, except my face and butt hurt too much right now.


----------



## CastingPearls

If you're gonna insist on drinking the Christmas tree water and puking, at least do it on Daddy's gifts.


----------



## Meddlecase

Get out of my pants, gosh.


----------



## Dmitra

Whenever he kisses someone an angel gets their wings.


----------



## Donna

Is it just me, or does red velvet cake batter look like blood and guts?


----------



## DrDetroit

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.


----------



## cute&curly

Ouchies, my paper cut hurts.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

WOW Me and my mom are really politically incorrect.. -Snicker-


----------



## JonesT

I am so depressed today


----------



## rg770Ibanez

Do you still have dreams about me too?


----------



## Ho Ho Tai

largenlovely said:


> that relates to what you are thinking at this moment yet has nothing to do with absolutely anything, yet you feel the need to get it out....go ahead...let 'er rip
> 
> I'll start....
> 
> This bra totally makes my boobs look awesome!!!


*
Wow! Those awesome boobs make my . . .*

Oh. I thought it said "One completely randy sentence."


----------



## CarlaSixx

He really is as dumb as he looks.


----------



## spiritangel

this year has been tough as hell and I wouldnt change a single minute


----------



## Your Plump Princess

You can say it's all for show, but what you don't know. .you just _don't_ know.


----------



## Mishty

What an imposing figure he made in his Ricky Martin Summer tour 2005 hoodie and pink eyes.


----------



## JonesT

I'm not so depressed anymore


----------



## Linda

What exactly do you stand for?


----------



## HeavyDuty24

hey stomach muscle,i may have pulled you.please be ok.>.>


----------



## rellis10

Don't worry, I haven't been eaten by cannibals :happy:


----------



## AmazingAmy

Mamihlapinatapai - a look shared by two people with each wishing that the other will initiate something that they both desire but which neither one wants to start.


----------



## Blackjack

AmazingAmy said:


> Mamihlapinatapai - a look shared by two people with each wishing that the other will initiate something that they both desire but which neither one wants to start.



Reading up on the xkcd forums, are we?


----------



## CarlaSixx

I love Screech rum!


----------



## Your Plump Princess

I'll never be good enough for her.. Why?


----------



## HeavyDuty24

why didn't i follow my first mind!:doh: it's always right anyway the majority of the time! :doh:


----------



## mossystate

sexy is something mostly subtle and too much is boring

why am I not baking

wake me when it is January 2nd


----------



## CastingPearls

I don't feel any guilt for eating all this chocolate.


----------



## CarlaSixx

I am the queen of elevator small talk.

Damn, thank God for major sale time at the grocery store...


----------



## largenlovely

Calgon take me away..............


----------



## spiritangel

seriously you leave it till the day before christmas and assume I am comming over


----------



## CastingPearls

Dodged another bullet!!!


----------



## Meddlecase

I feel off for some reason.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

I wonder what that was...another playful shadow?...


----------



## HeavyDuty24

it's about time this got sorted out! lol


----------



## CastingPearls

If he touches me one more time I'm going to stab him.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

CastingPearls said:


> If he touches me one more time I'm going to stab him.


----------



## Linda

That was yummy!!


----------



## Mishty

Television shall ruin my effin' Holiday, mostly just Usher's new commercial though,gag.


----------



## largenlovely

umm yes, i would like you under my christmas tree ... wrapped and ready....sooner rather than later please, thanks


----------



## Mathias

I have a pretty decent Christmas buzz going right about now.


----------



## Linda

This is the best red wine I think I have ever had.


----------



## CarlaSixx

Lime everywhere!!!


----------



## HeavyDuty24

im sorry i didn't mean it that way.i was and wanted to do it but it just wasn't the best time for me sorry but i will do it i will promise you that,so sorry again please forgive me.

sometimes i just don't understand you.


----------



## Meddlecase

Something amazing is happening.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Ahahaha! I forgot how awesome I thought this movie is!


----------



## bmann0413

This pretty much sums it up for me. lol


----------



## spiritangel

mayby I took the wrong cheesecake to my sisters my base is way moister  oh well least I will enjoy it


----------



## CarlaSixx

I love Big Bang Theory soooo much.


----------



## AmazingAmy

All I want is trifle, all the time.


----------



## Heyyou

I wonder when the pool will open.


----------



## rellis10

Losing by a mile is better than losing by an inch...at least you can't fool yourself into thinking you'll win.


----------



## fluffyandcute

I am freezing....someone should have bought me a snuggie for christmas


----------



## AmazingAmy

fluffyandcute said:


> I am freezing....someone should have bought me a snuggie for christmas



You can have mine! It's all staticy. Mines called a slanket, but my mum keeps calling it a skanket by mistake. WTF.


----------



## largenlovely

i don't think i'll ever grow up....but i swear getting stoned and playing PS3 Frisbee with my guy friends will never grow old lol


----------



## Blackjack

I really, really need sex. I've been complaining on and off like all year, but that don't make it any less true now.


----------



## AmazingAmy

Blackjack said:


> I really, really need sex. I've been complaining on and off like all year, but that don't make it any less true now.



Aw, poor Blackjack.  I'd oblige you but I just spent a couple of posts vowing to stop giving it out! Bummer, mate.


----------



## Blackjack

AmazingAmy said:


> Aw, poor Blackjack.  I'd oblige you but I just spent a couple of posts vowing to stop giving it out! Bummer, mate.









I mean, there's also the whole Atlantic Ocean screwing that up, too, but still.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

you never change...i just don't understand you even when i thought i did.ok you got 100 dollars for Christmas then you say something like "O i only got 100 dollars " like that was nothing.what is wrong with you? that is alot of money,you got almost 200 last year and you said the same thing.i can't bite my tongue anymore you are spoiled and ungrateful.you dissapoint me i really thought you knew better then that,you say you do but obviously you don't.you are very spoiled and ungrateful,i know alot of people that would have loved to get that much money for christmas,tonight you showed my one of the reasons i stopped talking to you in the first place.im sorry but i must let you go for good this time,have a nice life.


sorry had to get that off of my chest...


----------



## Gingembre

Blackjack said:


> I really, really need sex. I've been complaining on and off like all year, but that don't make it any less true now.



Don't move - I'm on my way to Heathrow!


----------



## HeavyDuty24

CarlaSixx said:


> I love Big Bang Theory soooo much.




me too!:bow:


----------



## CleverBomb

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

Yes, that is a grammatically correct sentence. 
The sentence when parsed reads as a claim that bison who are intimidated by bison are intimidating to bison (at least in the city of Buffalo, impliedly Buffalo, NY). That is, bison from Buffalo, New York, who are intimidated by other bison in their community also happen to intimidate other bison in their community.

-Rusty


----------



## Linda

What are you thinking?? You're not happy now but yes by all means, get married. That will make it all better. :doh:


----------



## largenlovely

that is one completely random sentence if i ever heard one lol



CleverBomb said:


> Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
> 
> Yes, that is a grammatically correct sentence.
> The sentence when parsed reads as a claim that bison who are intimidated by bison are intimidating to bison (at least in the city of Buffalo, impliedly Buffalo, NY). That is, bison from Buffalo, New York, who are intimidated by other bison in their community also happen to intimidate other bison in their community.
> 
> -Rusty


----------



## CastingPearls

Elmer Fudd doesn't look good in that hat and neither do you, you ass.


----------



## Famouslastwords

It's always a good idea to beat children when they share with their cousins... I mean really.......really?


----------



## mossystate

great...we will be like california


----------



## Scorsese86

Jack Daniel's, garlic and Family Guy - I am a simple man with simple needs.


----------



## Famouslastwords

Hehe Hiding with hotties.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Oi.. My Kingdom for a nice bubbly soak in the tub and a bottle of Jack to kick back with.


----------



## bmann0413

Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.


----------



## largenlovely

Yesterday was an unfortunate disaster. I hope today is better


----------



## CastingPearls

You have a lot of nerve, pal.


----------



## largenlovely

So far so good...but who knows if it will stay that way. It's like walking on egg shells with psycho bitch lurking in the living room.


----------



## fluffyandcute

Say what you mean.....mean what you say!!!


----------



## Deven

Arrrgh. Your stupid shampoo burnt my scalp. What did I say about buying generic crap?!?!


----------



## Linda

You come back and what exactly did you think my reaction would be?


----------



## Heyyou

I am munching on Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Munch, munch, munch!


----------



## fluffyandcute

Heyyou said:


> I am munching on Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Munch, munch, munch!



Love Cinnamon Toast Crunch :wubu:


----------



## mossystate

edit, woman...edit


----------



## largenlovely

omg this is the best sprite i've drank in my entire life...either that or i was really thirsty


----------



## Heyyou

I hope you got a big trunk, because i am going to put my bike in it.


----------



## CastingPearls

Claiming a product promotes weight loss when combined with diet and exercise is like claiming it grants wishes when used with a leprechaun.


----------



## Linda

Brown Chicken brown Cow


----------



## Dmitra

Gawd I love rowdy Irish music!


----------



## CleverBomb

Are we ourselves? And do we really know?

-Rusty
(Ok, maybe it's more free-association than random.)


----------



## CastingPearls

Why don't you talk to me anymore?


----------



## Meddlecase

I refuse to let religion or a lack of ruin this.


----------



## largenlovely

Zugzwang "...a situation where one player is put at a disadvantage because he has to make a move  the player would prefer to pass and make no move (but is compelled to do so). In game theory, it specifically means that it directly changes the outcome of the game from a win to a loss."

absolutely no reason for me to put this on here other than i just learned the word and i like it lol


----------



## largenlovely

am i adopted? because i go about problem solving in a completely different way than both of y'all....thank GOD


----------



## snuggletiger

Hey lady you don't have trust issues You're F***ing crazy and need a therapist but I mean that in a nice non confrontational way.


----------



## Heyyou

Its not you, its me.


----------



## mossystate

Horton Just Heard A Hiccup :smitten:


----------



## CastingPearls

It's not me, it's you.


----------



## Heyyou

That is going to hurt tomorrow.


----------



## luscious_lulu

No I don't want a slave


----------



## rellis10

That sounds disturbingly familiar


----------



## BullseyeB

I'm so tired of all the responsibility on my shoulders! Ugh!:doh:


----------



## Heyyou

I have to do WHAT?


----------



## Linda

I hope I can...I hope I can...I hope I can...


----------



## Heyyou

I refuse to move that piece of furniture because I have reason to believe it has splattered, squished, old roach guts on the side of it, or the wall.


----------



## CastingPearls

You entertain me but not in a way you'd like.


----------



## largenlovely

you should really be careful...one day he's not going to be there to protect you


----------



## cinnamitch

Why can't he ever get over it?


----------



## Linda

I look damn hot in this car!


----------



## Famouslastwords

What flavor is your bath and body works lotion?


----------



## UnknownSpirit01

I believe a switch blade is a blade that's ambidextrous.


----------



## littlefairywren

He's coming, he's coming, and I am soooo excited! :wubu:


----------



## swamptoad

I am a random sentence. No you aren't said the second sentence.


----------



## mossystate

dear dog.....look at the combined post count of this woman * points at self *...and the previous two posters

faint


----------



## Malarkey

What the F*** kind of cheese is that? OK, I guess i'll try it?!


----------



## Your Plump Princess

F-ck. No Jack.. _really?_ ugh!


----------



## largenlovely

a-wooo-wooooo now you're gonna get it....ya should have left it alone. She's super pissed and i don't blame her


----------



## Heyyou

Still, NO Explode is the best for me but it does feel like you're on speed.


----------



## mossystate

swat team just feet from my building...a standoff with police...hope everybody keeps cool heads


----------



## Ola

They seem to think first to 10 wins... EPIC!


----------



## Linda

What is that noise?


----------



## Heyyou

Val Kilmer is FAT now?


----------



## Heyyou

This cant be the same man that played in The Saint, it must be another man named Val Kilmer!






http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120053/


----------



## spiritangel

it so hot I swear I am melting if you dont hear from me you know I have evaporated


----------



## bmann0413

Give me your best shot! Or if you wanna get awesomesauce with it:


----------



## CleverBomb

It's nice out there -- must be at least 15 degrees! 

(that is, -9C)

-Rusty
(sorry, the common-sense part of my brain is frozen).


----------



## Mathias

Just click and drag: http://safe.tumblr.com/safe/video/2509512839/500 :happy:


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Everything she hates about you, I adore and seek from a man... it's not fucking fair.


----------



## Mathias

Kathy Griffin, for God's sake SHUT UP!


----------



## swamptoad

Please view title above.


----------



## Famouslastwords

Bob on my knob.


----------



## rellis10

How can you miss from 12 yards? You're a Striker.....STRIKE!


----------



## Scorsese86

If you drink all night, no matter what you end up thirsty all day the day after.


----------



## Heyyou

Never gonna get it never gonna get it, bew-bew-bew-bew-bew.


----------



## Emma

Damn Hugo, why do you always think I'm hiding food on my desk?


----------



## Emma

Soup is not tuna.


----------



## willowmoon

Shake up the picture the lizard mixture with your dance on the eventide

Simon Le Bon at his finest, lol


----------



## Heyyou

Oh, that poor bra, the agony it must be in, straining to hold those up... Bravo, bravo, amazing.


----------



## Heyyou

If I am not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?


----------



## CastingPearls

First lesson of 2011: Wearing a Happy New Year tiara to bed will not make me wake up a Snow Princess no matter how many times I tell everyone at the party.


----------



## largenlovely

it does my heart good to see my dad having fun...i love my daddy


----------



## largenlovely

you need some hardcore medication...and i don't mean that in an angry way, just a concerned sorta way.


----------



## CastingPearls

You're such a pain in the ass I'd duct tape you to shut up but I can think of better things to do with that mouth.


----------



## Heyyou

I will have sex with the computer if i can figure out this port.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

I already have my bags packed, and people begging me to come stay with them. Watch what you wish for.


----------



## Fuzzy

The Angels have the Phone Box


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Girlfriend, when three of us simultaneously decide to tell you to "SHUT THE FUCK UP!", it's generally within your best interest to abide.


----------



## Linda

Wow, just wow.


----------



## bmann0413

I wonder... how do you spell "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious?" 


... OH WAIT!


----------



## rg770Ibanez

I have to up in three hours to drive upstate...


----------



## Aust99

Sitting naked under a fan after a shower is the best cool down I've discovered this summer...


----------



## Your Plump Princess

I wonder if I'll ever sleep normal.


----------



## Heyyou

Is that supposed to be a cake Penis?


----------



## rellis10

7-5.....If I ever nail a jump shot my head will explode on the spot


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Hmm, is 10am too early for a kobe buger?


----------



## rellis10

First match back in efedding and I'm so screwed :doh:


----------



## Proner

Hi Mr, it appears that you have one of our books for four months, could you please bring it back as soon as you can please?


----------



## rellis10

Sooooo tired....Sooooo early.....why!


----------



## Linda

Just where do you think you're going?


----------



## mossystate

grumblegrumble...if it turns into a competition then the good points are fucking lost...grumblegrumble


----------



## superodalisque

last load of books in the trunk tg *exhausted*


----------



## OneWickedAngel

God if feels good to put my feet up and relax for a moment!


----------



## Deven

Gaaah. Itchy Itchy Itchy Itchy.... stupid hair color!!!


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Grr! Where's that damn badge?! 

_..BadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadger Muuuushroom Muuuushroom~ _


----------



## Heyyou

Is that the best you can do?


----------



## CastingPearls

I really didn't expect you to say that.


----------



## Famouslastwords

Time for boozy floozy to sugar bitch.


----------



## CastingPearls

Just because you have the ability to post pics of your poop on Yahoo, doesn't mean you should.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

I'm glad you love her so much, Too bad you don't know what she's like, IN REAL LIFE.


----------



## Blackjack

CastingPearls said:


> Just because you have the ability to post pics of your poop on Yahoo, doesn't mean you should.



Is that wrong? Should I not do that?


----------



## Famouslastwords

The poop crusader strikes again.


----------



## Mathias

I really fucking hate this...


----------



## UnknownSpirit01

survey says: BYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!


----------



## Linda

You are one messed up dude.


----------



## Adamantoise

There will be consequences for your insubordination!


----------



## Amaranthine

I hate when my dreams wake me up >.>


----------



## Heyyou

We always wish for money.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Voicing over the Peanuts characters dialog to speak in a manner only Snoop Dogg may find tasteful just isn't my idea of funny - sorry.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

I'm never going to get this exploded guinea pig stain out of my shirt...


----------



## spiritangel

what an incredible day just amazing


----------



## fluffyandcute

So glad the kiddos went back to school today....peace and quiet!!!!!


----------



## Heyyou

Sweat tastes salty.


----------



## mossystate

wonder how big a bottle of foundation I would need to cover every male face on this board...well, except maybe for the pristine 18 year olds....the rest?....whoa, hide those flaws...hehe


----------



## largenlovely

When i was your age i didn't listen to those who knew better either...but i really hope you won't make the same mistake i did.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

..Bitch, do you BATHE in perfume? When I've got my door locked and can STILL CHOKE ON YOUR PERFUME, you wear way too much.


----------



## CastingPearls

Dog-pile on the rabbit!


----------



## Dmitra

Sanity is overrated.


----------



## Heyyou

I have been driving all night, and my hands are wet on the wheel. *guitar riff*


----------



## DitzyBrunette

I need some midol.


----------



## Famouslastwords

You are a Cockholster!


----------



## Fluffy51888

If there was a song called, "You're Gonna Be All Alone For The Rest of Your Life Because You Push Away Everyone Who Has Ever Cared About You," it would be your theme song.


----------



## Aust99

I'm addicted!


----------



## cinnamitch

Good God if i could reach through a computer screen..


----------



## Shosh

It is great when you turn your PC off. Certain people cease to exist. Just like magic.


----------



## Linda

I will miss you, but not to worry. I will hurry home after work to crawl into you, cover up with my warm blanket and get some more sleep.


----------



## spiritangel

The last couple of days have been an amazing blur I still dont know if I will say yes or no but WOW


----------



## Famouslastwords

"See I'm just pouring Oj down in my sugar bush and I have a long straw and I'm drinking it--orangina"


----------



## CastingPearls

It's a mango on my sugarbush and it's a mouth, dimwit.


----------



## Famouslastwords

Nobody has to know


----------



## Heyyou

Imma sine yo kitty on the runny-tine.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

The ultimate irony will be that in 10 years when the Bolthangian 4 invasion force arrives on Earth, they will first encounter a Jersey Guido and upon seeing his perfect blowout will surrender and immediately begin to worship him as their god.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

feels good to be recovered.


----------



## Famouslastwords

And I never wanted anything from you, except everything you had and what was left after that too.


----------



## CleverBomb

The players are ready -- let the magic begin!

-Rusty


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Whoa, why did THAT turn me on?


----------



## OneWickedAngel

HAH! Betcha didn't see that coming!


----------



## Heyyou

Eggs and beans are cool.


----------



## Dmitra

The Apocalypse is no match for duct tape.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

No! Not Cinnamon, LAVA! Damn right.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

In your dreams = in my nightmares.


----------



## spiritangel

oh my money vanishes quickly


----------



## Linda

I'm dizzy :happy:


----------



## swamptoad

I opened up the popcorn bag and ate the popcorn inside.


----------



## Heyyou

My fingers always smell funny.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Black Satin, I'm Rich in Heart or Linkin Park in the Dark?


----------



## imfree

Piracy is a state of mind.


----------



## willowmoon

I'm dancing on the valentine


----------



## Aust99

Warm apple pie!!!! Yum!


----------



## rellis10

Internal Monologues aren't as easy as they used to be....


----------



## Heyyou

Whenever i touch your slow turning pain... youre hiding from me now.


----------



## lalatx

I'll get my pants.


----------



## CastingPearls

It may have worked for Frida Kahlo but it ain't working for you, lady.


----------



## AmazingAmy

Is 7.30pm too late for a nap...?


----------



## CastingPearls

He looks better in a burka than I do.


----------



## Heyyou

No more onions for me!


----------



## Dmitra

Kitty paws sticking out from under the blankets are unbearably adorable.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

C'mon! C'mon! It's GOTTA Be "Bye Bye Birdies!" It's just GOTTA!


----------



## Heyyou

I will be faithful, to my lover's prayer, in full song, while Going West.


----------



## mossystate

that might be one of the best examples of pot/kettle


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Wow, I really miss you going to work...


----------



## largenlovely

Ok, so you've got my attention...let's see if you can keep it


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

The reason you wrap hamsters in duct tape is so that they don't explode when you fuck them.


----------



## Heyyou

Random is as random does.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

_Maaaan_, I wish you lived closer so we could snuggle up and watch Miyazaki movies.


----------



## CastingPearls

You got me just as worked up....lol


----------



## Heyyou

I never knew peanut butter could get so hard.


----------



## Dmitra

Everybody's impressed by the jellyfish.


----------



## largenlovely

Sorry, game over and no parting gifts and now for the next contestant ....


----------



## CastingPearls

largenlovely said:


> Sorry, game over and no parting gifts and now for the next contestant ....


Amen, sister. NEXT!!!!!


----------



## snuggletiger

And the reason I need to know you is? *turns salt timer over then a finger snap*


----------



## Heyyou

> Ok, so you've got my attention...let's see if you can keep it





> Sorry, game over and no parting gifts and now for the next contestant ....





CastingPearls said:


> Amen, sister. NEXT!!!!!



So random this progression of agreeing with sentences coupled with short attention spans and wet shoes, keeping it random.


----------



## Dmitra

end Frissons wriggle backbone the and up quickly.


Frissons wriggle up the backbone and end quickly. Randomly.


----------



## CastingPearls

2:35 AM and I can't sleep.


----------



## rg770Ibanez

They rescheduled again?!!!


----------



## rellis10

I may be getting confused a bit between Schizohprenia and Split Personality Disorder....


----------



## Heyyou

Dont go full retard.


----------



## Famouslastwords

Fuck your Honda Civic, I have a horse outside.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

um are you serious? everything we built was based on lies from you? ok then,thanks for wasting my time,you had me believing you,your a good actor,here's a grammy...your full of lies and i can't trust you anymore...


----------



## Heyyou

If the fish saw you they would start to walk on land hah one sentence.


----------



## CastingPearls

Just because I paid you a compliment doesn't mean I want to boink you so get over yourself already.


----------



## Heyyou

If I See One More Episode Of The Smurfs I Am Going To Have That Stupid "la La La La La La" Song Stuck In My Head For Quite Some Time I Dont Want That To Happen Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!


----------



## AmazingAmy

CastingPearls said:


> Just because I paid you a compliment doesn't mean I want to boink you so get over yourself already.



Oh, but I want to boink _you_.


----------



## CastingPearls

AmazingAmy said:


> Oh, but I want to boink _you_.


Yeah but........that's different.


----------



## spiritangel

why am I awake, and not where I should be asleep


----------



## Your Plump Princess

I wish I could sell some of this crap. Ugh.


----------



## chapelhillmensch

Eskimos can make the sharpest handmade spear-points in the World.


----------



## JonesT

Argggghh stupid hiccups!


----------



## Famouslastwords

A Grammy is for singing not acting.


----------



## UnknownSpirit01

Excuse me for I have death to defy!


----------



## CastingPearls

Brevity is the soul of lingerie - Dorothy Parker


----------



## CarlaSixx

I never fail to make things complicated in my life.


----------



## spiritangel

I hate waiting to hear if stuff is good enough or not


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Are you freaking KIDDING me?!!!


----------



## rellis10

Mmmmmmmmmmm tea :eat2:


----------



## luscious_lulu

I don't believe it.


----------



## largenlovely

Life is Good


----------



## Mishty

The new zodiac my ass, I'm still a Scorpio.


----------



## mossystate

that show Jerseylicious is really scary


----------



## gobettiepurple

cake, the band and the food, makes me happy


----------



## CastingPearls

Mishty said:


> The new zodiac my ass, I'm still a Scorpio.


You still are. It only applies to those born after 2009. (And you are SUCH a stinger! LOL)


----------



## Heyyou

I changed my mind as to the ONE RANDOM sentence and i still follow the three second rule in my house.


----------



## Mozz

I don't feel like going to work tomorrow


----------



## spiritangel

I'm getting my very first piece published this month  its exciting


----------



## sophie44

was asked, more than once, to go outside and make a snowman...naked...Im thinking I might


----------



## CastingPearls

I just found pearl handcuffs, PEARLSSSSSSS!!


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Jesus Christ, woman! Make up your damn mind! 

"Zomg I like Gamers"
"Zomg his Gaming pisses me off"
ZOMG STFU ALREADY.


----------



## swamptoad

This is the beginning and I will throw a few words in the middle till I get to the end.


----------



## Mozz

I want a slice of cake I'm so hungry for sweets


----------



## Your Plump Princess

M'mmmm. I forgot I loved thee, Ko&#1071;n! How Traitorous of I!


----------



## Famouslastwords

There's two new pastas on this one's me and one's you.


----------



## CastingPearls

Hi Ya'll stop licking sauce offa ma boobs!


----------



## CarlaSixx

Shit, now I have to find a date to this crap... :doh:


----------



## blueeyedevie

Bubble bath oh bubble bath; what I would do to be able to take a bubble bath!


----------



## lalatx

I'm in your house licking all your stuff.


----------



## Linda

Funny how things just sort of work out sometimes...


----------



## CastingPearls

This one wants cupcakes, this one wants kisses, everyone wants the bird.


----------



## spiritangel

9hrs sleep really 9hrs wow so that is what sleeping like a normal person feels like


----------



## CastingPearls

Eat. Your. Heart. Out.


----------



## Linda

I can not stay up until 5am like I used to.


----------



## Famouslastwords

I'm so sick of talking about myself, why don't you do it for awhile?


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Oh shit, no, can't post that on Facebook, I might actually get some takers.


----------



## CastingPearls

Are you going to repeat everything I say?


----------



## mossystate

hmmmmm...boiling a mixture of coffee and peppermint extract kind of helps with whatever godforsaken food my neighbors are cooking

kind of hope they choke on their food....ok...ok...not until they expire...just enough that they understand the pain I feel...ok...ok...maybe just hope they move......no...still hope for a wee bit of choking


----------



## cinnamitch

Why in the hell did i eat Taco Bell?


----------



## pdgujer148

She had the face of a moray eel and the personality to match.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Chili Dog at nearly 11pm? Why, Hell yes I think I'll have _two!_


----------



## CastingPearls

FamousLastWords RUGGGGGLES COME HERE Jay get the camera.............


----------



## AmazingAmy

How do you break the silence when no one would ever...


----------



## CastingPearls

Hmmmmm...I think I can pull off black PVC and pearls.....


----------



## Timberwolf

I wish I had a steadier (and faster) internet connection.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

No wonder I can't find any video game shirts. Fucking Blob.


----------



## mossystate

Get ready for Groundhog Day.


----------



## Linda

I am grateful he waited to tell me that news.


----------



## CleverBomb

AmazingAmy said:


> How do you





CastingPearls said:


> pull off





Timberwolf said:


> a steadier (and faster)





Your Plump Princess said:


> video game shirt





mossystate said:


> for Groundhog Day


--


Linda said:


> tell me that


?

-Rusty


----------



## OneWickedAngel

exhausted and alone I muse in this dark...


----------



## Dmitra

How noisy would a skirt made of ladles be?


----------



## spiritangel

why cant I make these wings work


----------



## Linda

CleverBomb said:


> --
> 
> ?
> 
> -Rusty



Very carefully?


----------



## CastingPearls

That post was just cruel if you think about it. Really. Really?


----------



## shaneygirls

"Dear God... He fell thru the floor..."


----------



## AuntHen

I like midol, do you?


----------



## CastingPearls

I am my own crown of thorns.


----------



## Mathias

You really don't have any idea how much I care about you, do you? :really sad:


----------



## lalatx

Maybe if I hit it with a hammer it will work.


----------



## Famouslastwords

I am doll parts. I'm also hungry dammit.=/


----------



## pdgujer148

Vera, seriously, put down the cigarette before you begin to fade.


----------



## spiritangel

wing one started and drying but eep I cant seem to get both sides to match sigh


----------



## JonesT

Why must there be depression


----------



## HeavyDuty24

please,i REALLY hope it works out this time.please o please.don't be a unicorn...


----------



## penguin

Damn we're good.


----------



## spiritangel

I cant believe I am going to bed before 3am way before even


----------



## AmazingAmy

Thank God versatility is a real word, thought I was making it up...


----------



## Bigtigmom

I'm utterly exhausted, so why can't I just turn my mind off and give myself a rest...sigh.....


----------



## CastingPearls

Always be specific just in case the Wish Genie is a total dick.


----------



## AmazingAmy

Hair cuts do not change who you are. Think hard about this one.


----------



## CastingPearls

If you're going to charge people to look at your pics, at least wear drawers without holes in them. Jesus.


----------



## mossystate

Well, that was easy to find.


----------



## spiritangel

so much for an afternoon nap overexcited niece with a new (2nd hand) formal dress she did look great though


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Why am I so tired!?!? Ugh..I blame Bacon.


----------



## spiritangel

mmmmmm dinner smells sooooo goood yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


----------



## JonesT

spiritangel said:


> mmmmmm dinner smells sooooo goood yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm



I'm jealous!


----------



## OneWickedAngel

What the hell happened last night?


----------



## big_lad27

1st darts ranking event of the year this Saturday, time to get some practice in


----------



## penguin

gah. teenagers.


----------



## Dmitra

Fecking managerial home invasions.


----------



## Linda

If you call me "Kiddo" again in that condescending tone I am going to kick you in the knee!


----------



## Mathias

That probably would have been more fun if I was hammered.


----------



## KittyKitten

I must be a night owl, 'cause I can't sleep right now!


----------



## pdgujer148

Not to be a buzzkill or anything, but...

"I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each./I do not think that they will sing to me."


----------



## Mathias

bmann0413 said:


> Give me your best shot! Or if you wanna get awesomesauce with it:



You're too


----------



## penguin

Damn it, I don't speak Pokemon.


----------



## Mathias

penguin said:


> Damn it, I don't speak Pokemon.



You're too "Slowbro!"


----------



## penguin

Mathias said:


> You're too "Slowbro!"



Ohhhh lolol. I do like those Pokemon conversations once I understand them


----------



## pdgujer148

I took a nap, but it didn't help as much as I expected.


----------



## Famouslastwords

So I wrote you this song, but you won't sing along to me.


----------



## CastingPearls

The best things in life are worth waiting for.


----------



## spiritangel

omg I am actually contemplating chores on a saturday night does that make my life totally sad?


----------



## penguin

spiritangel said:


> omg I am actually contemplating chores on a saturday night does that make my life totally sad?



I had wine while washing up. Aside from making me feel like some strange 1950's housewife, it helped a little


----------



## Mathias

Justice Friends, ASSEMBLE!!!!


----------



## CastingPearls

Capitalization, punctuation and paragraph structure exist for a reason so please consider using them because it's not arty or creative no matter how you try to convince yourself otherwise.


----------



## luscious_lulu

I love it!


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Why does it hurt so bad?


----------



## Linda

That was completely random and borders on weird.


----------



## penguin

I have some incredibly odd dreams.


----------



## mossystate

Going to go with what I love, and stop worrying about any opinions, which wouldn't have a leg to stand on.


----------



## lalatx

Rubbing your ass on someone is not the new hello.


----------



## Linda

I hate how Yahoo offlines get lost when I use my Blackberry! Arg!!


----------



## willowmoon

The half dream shape of yesterday ... in bloom tomorrow.


----------



## iglooboy55

If a compulsive liar threatens you, is it a legitimate threat?

p.s.
vaginal avocado


----------



## AmazingAmy

I may be a bit militant sometimes.


----------



## AmazingAmy

Quote of the day from mother:

"I'm shutting your door so broccoli doesn't go in your room."


----------



## luscious_lulu

I hate laundrymats.


----------



## penguin

When Broccoli Attacks: an all new reality show about when vegetables go very very bad.


----------



## AmazingAmy

penguin said:


> When Broccoli Attacks: an all new reality show about when vegetables go very very bad.



I've had to change of the lock on my bedroom door.


----------



## penguin

AmazingAmy said:


> I've had to change of the lock on my bedroom door.



Arm yourself with some chocolate and packets of chips! The broccoli won't want to come near you!


----------



## Aust99

penguin said:


> Arm yourself with some chocolate and packets of chips! The broccoli won't want to come near you!



You meant to say crisps.... your talking to a Brit there...


----------



## penguin

Aust99 said:


> You meant to say crisps.... your talking to a Brit there...



I can never take the word crisps seriously.


----------



## AmazingAmy

It's an unfortunate word for anyone with a lisp. As is the word lisp.


----------



## penguin

If I had a dick, I'd tell insomnia to suck it.


----------



## AmazingAmy

Qaedafghtr Himmller will do it for you.


----------



## spiritangel

all energy is gone cleaning saps my strength and creativity but has to be done


----------



## Aust99

:dohammit!!:doh:


I lost all of it... lol


----------



## Your Plump Princess

AmazingAmy said:


> Qaedafghtr Himmller will do it for you.


AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 
... Wait, Wait! 

.. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!


----------



## penguin

AmazingAmy said:


> Qaedafghtr Himmller will do it for you.



But I'm not Christov!


----------



## AmazingAmy

My mother, randomly walking in the room: "Don't you dare get putting things on your sister's Facebook!"

I'm on Dimensions. And I don't even know my sister's password.


----------



## Heyyou

I wonder what Mike Tyson is doing right now.


----------



## spiritangel

Wont be guilted for feeling the way I do, my feelings are valid


----------



## Heyyou

Remember, remember the fifth of november.


----------



## AmazingAmy

Heyyou said:


> Remember, remember the fifth of november.



Already worried you'll forget?


----------



## AmazingAmy

I think the 'Post Your Sexist Pics Nakkid' and the 'Post Your Drunk Pics' thread should have a baby called 'Post Your Sexist Drunk Pics Nakkid'.

Someone buy me some booze and show me a good time and I'll go first.


----------



## spiritangel

Amy I love you!


----------



## Heyyou

I love myself more than other posters.


----------



## Heyyou

Long live Dirty's kettle cooked sea salt flavor and variations potato chips from Louisiana.


----------



## AuntHen

It's like pushing against a brick wall.


----------



## penguin

AmazingAmy said:


> I think the 'Post Your Sexist Pics Nakkid' and the 'Post Your Drunk Pics' thread should have a baby called 'Post Your Sexist Drunk Pics Nakkid'.
> 
> Someone buy me some booze and show me a good time and I'll go first.



I have a lot of wine and beer here (birthday presents!), so let's have a party at my place and see what develops.


----------



## Heyyou

penguin said:


> I have a lot of wine and beer here (birthday presents!), so let's have a party at my place and see what develops.



Ill bring the 2% milk!


----------



## penguin

Heyyou said:


> Ill bring the 2% milk!



What are you going to do with that??


----------



## Heyyou

Im scared of that -THING- under my printer, i hope the roach spray kills it...... or do they make centipede spray?


----------



## Dmitra

Philosophy 101 memory: How can you prove that right in this second you're not dreaming?


----------



## spiritangel

omg how fast did money fly out of my hands and bar the ham wich is my chrissy one as I diddnt get one then I was really good not even a block of chocolate......................


----------



## luscious_lulu

So far, so good.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Bert! Oh, Bert! Where did you go?!


----------



## luscious_lulu

How about you tell me about you first.


----------



## AmazingAmy

"The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody wholl listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. If you wait around for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning to strike you in the brain, you are not going to make an awful lot of work. All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If youre sitting around trying to dream up a great art idea, you can sit there a long time before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and somthing else that you reject will push you in another direction. Inspiration is absolutely unnecessary and somehow deceptive. You feel like you need this great idea before you can get down to work, and I find thats almost never the case." - Chuck Close


----------



## Surlysomething

Step Away From The Internet.


----------



## Linda

When history repeats itself it's not always a bad thing.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

There should be a limit to how many "sexy pondering look" themed photos one has on their FB.


----------



## CastingPearls

He's a tornado and she's his trailer park.


----------



## Mathias

I'm just sitting back watching the madness unfold.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

AmazingAmy said:


> I think the 'Post Your Sexist Pics Nakkid' and the 'Post Your Drunk Pics' thread should have a baby called 'Post Your Sexist Drunk Pics Nakkid'.
> 
> Someone buy me some booze and show me a good time and I'll go first.



I would like to apply for this position, purely for the reasons of seeing a social experiment come to life, and that is all.


----------



## That Guy You Met Once

I have to be up in a few hours and I haven't slept.


----------



## CleverBomb

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> I would like to apply for this position, purely for the reasons of seeing a social experiment come to life, and that is all.


It must be done -- for SCIENCE!

-Rusty


----------



## Famouslastwords

I was beginning to think I lost my mind, fell upon it hard and fell upon my hardest times but the way she lit the room at night, cast shadows to their gloom and I still dream of your perfume at night, I would do anything to be with you...


----------



## lalatx

That is an awful lot of headless dolls.


----------



## Famouslastwords

Jabba the hut? Morelike Jabba the Slut.


----------



## penguin

Now why'd you have to go and be so stupid? Again.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

..Dude...We should live like them on Three's Company.


----------



## Famouslastwords

Your Plump Princess said:


> ..Dude...We should live like them on Three's Company.




Come and knock on my door, I've been waiting for...yoouuu...


----------



## KHayes666

I bet you're a big Lee Marvin fan aren't ya?


----------



## Mathias

Fuck it, I'm going to bed.


----------



## Heyyou

How can one that can remove rep? That is low and foul. And it happened. Im amazed!


----------



## penguin

Damn you, Gaga. Why do I have to like your music?


----------



## Heyyou

penguin said:


> Damn you, Gaga. Why do I have to like your music?



LMAOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Massive Mocha, i just joined your site, and it is wonderful.


----------



## penguin

Heyyou said:


> LMAOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I resisted her for a very long time. I still think she's a pretentious twat, but she makes catchy music. I like Bad Romance far too much.


----------



## Heyyou

penguin said:


> I resisted her for a very long time. I still think she's a pretentious twat, but she makes catchy music. I like Bad Romance far too much.



I used to ask to politely exit the van when i was befriending certain BBW that used to kind of sing along to that song, and its just.. annoying. SHE is annoying (Gaga.) Same sound effect over and over.. possible man.. No talent these days. None! 

I point out bad music. And i would have repped you, but i need to "Receive some" before i can. 

Maybe you rep me, i rep you? That is epicly repworthy. AND i had a rep deleted recently HMMMMMMMMM.

(I would rather walk with my mo3 player than be subjected to someone else's bad music. See my Brie Brown post about her like of a dumb song, by Kesha.. Everyone else was like "I like that song" i tell it like it is.)


----------



## penguin

You insult my dubious taste in music and then beg for rep! Why I never! *faints*


----------



## Heyyou

penguin said:


> You insult my dubious taste in music and then beg for rep! Why I never! *faints*



Damnstraight 

It wont let me rep you yet but when it does.. 

As long as they dont delete the rep this time.


----------



## largenlovely

that truly made me L-M-A-O



CastingPearls said:


> He's a tornado and she's his trailer park.


----------



## largenlovely

I'm so glad to be feeling human again after that nasty ass flu

y'all got married? really? wow..well...that will eventually be a train wreck lol


----------



## snuggletiger

I want to wear my tux to a 3 stooges like pie fight and get the cute hot sulty ssbbw at the end of the movie.


----------



## Heyyou

We got a love thaaaang goin on.


----------



## CastingPearls

If the best you can do is fabricate stories on someone else's FB page about a person's sexuality, you are far more pathetic than I have ever imagined and aren't worth pity or compassion but contempt.


----------



## mossystate

damn, you were sooooooooooo close


----------



## Dmitra

This is KCAW, Sitka.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Stu, If hippos were meant to fly, they wouldn't weigh 3000 pounds.


----------



## penguin

This is unexpected.


----------



## mossystate

beam me up


----------



## HeavyDuty24

some things are not always what they seem...


----------



## Heyyou

People's sense of ego makes me laugh.


----------



## Zoom

"Where's my ledger??" screamed the savage R.J. Flank, accountant at large, as he bit into a tomato.


----------



## MatthewB

My heater just made a funny noise.


----------



## Linda

Will it work this time around?


----------



## HeavyDuty24

i don't understand really.kinda do but kinda don't.


----------



## Heyyou

This thread speaks in code (isht eardt sks eaph no deci)


----------



## CastingPearls

I have a jumbo cocktail shaker full of filthy martinis and I know how to use it.


----------



## penguin

Zoom said:


> "Where's my ledger??" screamed the savage R.J. Flank, accountant at large, as he bit into a tomato.



This is another example of me misreading things as saying badger. WTF is it with me and badgers??


----------



## Heyyou

penguin said:


> This is another example of me misreading things as saying badger. WTF is it with me and badgers??



Badgers are cool.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

penguin said:


> This is another example of me misreading things as saying badger. WTF is it with me and badgers??


Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger _MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! _

I mean, what? o: )


----------



## CleverBomb

Your Plump Princess said:


> Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger _MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! _
> 
> I mean, what? o: )


Aargh Snake! 

-Rusty


----------



## Heyyou

Your Plump Princess said:


> Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger _MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! _
> 
> I mean, what? o: )



Huh-huh-huh, huh, she said mushroom  







*cue 1-up sound effect* *COIN*


----------



## CastingPearls

Where the hell are you tonight? Fuuuuuuuuck.


----------



## penguin

Heyyou said:


> Badgers are cool.





Your Plump Princess said:


> Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger _MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! _
> 
> I mean, what? o: )



I love that song, and the Harry Potter version.

Our buses here have signs up saying "bags without people don't make sense", and I'm ALWAYS misreading it as "badgers without people don't make sense" and that makes me laugh...because badgers with people on a bus DO make sense. duh.


----------



## Heyyou

penguin said:


> I love that song, and the Harry Potter version.
> 
> Our buses here have signs up saying "bags without people don't make sense", and I'm ALWAYS misreading it as "badgers without people don't make sense" and that makes me laugh...because badgers with people on a bus DO make sense. duh.



Star Wars is cool, sense needs no Force.


----------



## Famouslastwords

Oh GDI I scrolled up from the bottom and laughed at something you posted, time to give seppuku a try.


----------



## penguin

Famouslastwords said:


> Oh GDI I scrolled up from the bottom and laughed at something you posted, time to give seppuku a try.



You'd leave me a widow??


----------



## Famouslastwords

I was jay kay. You know I love my wifey.


----------



## CastingPearls

I'm jelli .


----------



## penguin

You do if you know what's good for you!  :eat2:


----------



## Famouslastwords

CastingPearls said:


> I'm jelli .


That's what Frankman's for.


----------



## CastingPearls

That's cos YOU'RE JELLI!!!


----------



## penguin

I don't think you're ready for this jelli.


----------



## spiritangel

I am not meant to be roasting in an oven!


----------



## penguin

spiritangel said:


> I am not meant to be roasting in an oven!



Quick! Get out! Should we be pan frying you instead?


----------



## Famouslastwords

CastingPearls said:


> That's cos YOU'RE JELLI!!!



Damn straight, but I'd eat all 6'6" of him alive. Vagina dentata. RAWR.

Back to the regularly scheduled thread.

As ludacris once said: We can do it in the back seat windows up, that's the way we like to f**k, clogged up fog alert, rip the pants and rip the shirt, rough sex, make it hurt, in the garden all in the dirt....


----------



## CastingPearls

Famouslastwords said:


> Damn straight, but I'd eat all 6'6" of him alive. Vagina dentata. RAWR.
> 
> Back to the regularly scheduled thread.
> 
> As ludacris once said: We can do it in the back seat windows up, that's the way we like to f**k, clogged up fog alert, rip the pants and rip the shirt, rough sex, make it hurt, in the garden all in the dirt....


He's mine, all mine, don't be hatin', hater.


----------



## Famouslastwords

CastingPearls said:


> He's mine, all mine, don't be hatin', hater.



Brother wives. It's ok. If you can't share. I can't either. Penguin's all mine. All mine. She agreed to marry me. We'll have to have a threesome with someone who learned to share in kindergarten.


----------



## CastingPearls

Famouslastwords said:


> Brother wives. It's ok. If you can't share. I can't either. Penguin's all mine. All mine. She agreed to marry me. We'll have to have a threesome with someone who learned to share in kindergarten.


She's mine too. Suck it, hater.


----------



## Famouslastwords

CastingPearls said:


> She's mine too. Suck it, hater.



*sings* She's mine, you may have had her once but I got her all the time.


----------



## penguin

Well, I still don't see no ring on this finger. And until I get one, Imma do what I want. 


But it'll probably involve you two.


----------



## Famouslastwords

penguin said:


> Well, I still don't see no ring on this finger. And until I get one, Imma do what I want.
> 
> 
> But it'll probably involve you two.



Help me. She's making me listen to Bad Romance over and over and over. Help me. *writes help me on the window in my breath*


----------



## Heyyou

Famouslastwords said:


> *sings* She's mine, you may have had her once but I got her all the time.



GIRL FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## CastingPearls

penguin said:


> Well, I still don't see no ring on this finger. And until I get one, Imma do what I want.
> 
> 
> But it'll probably involve you two.


It's good to be the queen. (We can take turns)


----------



## Famouslastwords

CastingPearls said:


> It's good to be the queef. (We can take turns)



Fixed for you, your heiny.


----------



## penguin

lmao. the Queen of Queefs. That might just be me.

Now, where did I keep that wrestling pit....


----------



## Your Plump Princess

How do you lose a wrestling pit? I mean, That's a lot of jello! 

[Oh, not that kind of Wrestling... damn!]


----------



## penguin

Your Plump Princess said:


> How do you lose a wrestling pit? I mean, That's a lot of jello!
> 
> [Oh, not that kind of Wrestling... damn!]



I'm not the neatest person around! Let's oil up and play naked twister instead.


----------



## CastingPearls

penguin said:


> I'm not the neatest person around! Let's oil up and play naked twister instead.


works for me!


----------



## Famouslastwords

This is random for reals: How can you complain about the passive aggressiveness of others when you're so damn passive aggressive yourself?


----------



## Your Plump Princess

penguin said:


> I'm not the neatest person around! Let's oil up and play naked twister instead.


I'm Game! 

[Ahahahhahaha. So this is where my Crushable comment could come into play!  ]


----------



## Mathias

What's next on my agenda?


----------



## penguin

Your Plump Princess said:


> I'm Game!
> 
> [Ahahahhahaha. So this is where my Crushable comment could come into play!  ]



hah that it would!


----------



## Famouslastwords

penguin said:


> Well, I still don't see no ring on this finger. And until I get one, Imma do what I want.



You got the ring. Now no Elaine!


----------



## penguin

Famouslastwords said:


> You got the ring. Now no Elaine!



...ever?? *wibble*


----------



## Famouslastwords

penguin said:


> ...ever?? *wibble*




She doesn't share Frank =/, maybe when she learns to share wibblet. I do have several nice beautiful gorgeous women who like to share willing to make out with us!


----------



## AmazingAmy

This new toothpaste is making the skin inside my mouth shed like grated cheese. No one kiss me for at least two hours.


----------



## spiritangel

wow it has choc chips in it who would have thought


----------



## Heyyou

I wonder what things will be like in February.


----------



## Linda

I am covered in powdered sugar from my head to my toes.


----------



## Dmitra

Prince William should wear a kilt.


----------



## Heyyou

These are my grandfather's ashes, and if i eat them he will live inside of me.


----------



## CastingPearls

Arrogance? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.


----------



## penguin

email me back, you bastard. and I mean that with affection.


----------



## CleverBomb

Heyyou said:


> These are my grandfather's ashes, and if i eat them he will live inside of me.


There was a South Park episode that featured this as a major plot element. 

I'm embarrassed that I know this.

-Rusty


----------



## spiritangel

wow its hot outside


----------



## littlefairywren

^^That's just all kinds of crazy, and proves he really is a sandwich short of a picnic!


----------



## Famouslastwords

littlefairywren said:


> ^^That's just all kinds of crazy, and proves he really is a sandwich short of a picnic!




Yeah but really, what kind of picnic would it be if he had that other sandwich anyway?


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Anyone want to come over and hang out?


----------



## mossystate

The floor likes my hard nipples.


----------



## penguin

PunkyGurly74 said:


> Anyone want to come over and hang out?



The commute is a bit much for me 



mossystate said:


> The floor likes my hard nipples.



I think we all do.

Is it ice cream time?


----------



## PunkyGurly74

penguin said:


> The commute is a bit much for me  /QUOTE]
> 
> That does suck...
> 
> And for me, personally..it is always time for ice cream...:eat2:


----------



## mossystate

penguin said:


> I think we all do.



:batting:




.........


----------



## Heyyou

Q: 25% MMO is a horrendous overdose. My God...did you dump several gallon jugs in your tank? A: Yes i did. Why, is this bad?


----------



## mossystate

I thought that channel had been cancelled.


----------



## Heyyou

I wish I was an Oscar Meyer wiener.


----------



## penguin

Oh joy, sleep eludes me again.


----------



## luscious_lulu

There seems to be an upswing on insane people joining Dims.


----------



## Heyyou

I have so much cash on me i feel like a drug dealer. Sanity be damned.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

I'd better get that damn shirt, hell hath no fury like this fatty denied her shirt!


----------



## TraciJo67

Please stop fussing little llama
NO MORE of this LLAMA DRAMA!


----------



## KHayes666

Doc we gotta get you like a proverb book or something, this mix n match shits gotta go.


----------



## penguin

TraciJo67 said:


> Please stop fussing little llama
> NO MORE of this LLAMA DRAMA!



But...but...what will he eat? The drama llama needs to eat!! Don't starve him


----------



## Dmitra

While my guitar gently detunes.


----------



## penguin

I so read detunes as dentures. Very strange mental image.


----------



## spiritangel

what the? I taste strawberry but the wrapper said cola


----------



## Linda

Uhm, dude! You did not hit an ostrich with your truck. First of all they don't fly. Second of all you were in Virginia!!


----------



## HeavyDuty24

wow this is incredibly awesome and unexplainable but i love it.


----------



## spiritangel

seriously 29 degrees after 10.30pm is not acceptable its supposed to cool down when the sun vanishes


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Dragon Parasol? PERFECT CHOICE!


----------



## HeavyDuty24

woah it's actually snowing here.in Texas.:blink:


----------



## Heyyou

The word "fuel hole" sounds funny to me, as does "fill hole" that made me laugh


----------



## Heyyou

Women they come and go, but you can rely on a truck.

Long version: <---- Women they come and go, but you can rely on a truck, in time you will see how true this is, and trucks have other advantages as well, they dont lie to you, talk down to you, or feel they are better than you, or look funny.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Just go away


----------



## Heyyou

Linky no worky.


----------



## Heyyou

Twitter is dumb.


----------



## spiritangel

hmmm mayby I shouldnt have tried to even out my hair even just a smidge


----------



## KHayes666

*In thick Turkish accent* Eh what are you doin here? I don't see no water. Eh fuck you Blooper!


----------



## Heyyou

Heat makes things crispy.


----------



## Mack27

Ticking off someone by being happy and confident when you have no right to be happy and confident is pure gold.


----------



## Heyyou

Stupid GLUE!


----------



## snuggletiger

Waiting for the day the peeps in Cairo sing "Hosni won't you come home"


----------



## spiritangel

omg omg omg I am way over excited and super happy


----------



## AlethaBBW

I want brownies and William Shatner.


----------



## penguin

AlethaBBW said:


> I want brownies and William Shatner.



Brownies on William Shatner?


----------



## Dmitra

Lost like children.


----------



## Heyyou

I am a fan of this thing we call "scat," though i can only think of one hit from Scatman John to prove this.


----------



## copasgrande

I can't believe I just ate pepperoni and frozen waffles.


----------



## penguin

Uh oh, I think I'm getting sick.


----------



## Surlysomething

Holy crapping hell I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE.


----------



## Heyyou

When the pots for the line come completely on time, thats logistics.


----------



## Heyyou

Its getting late, time to sleep, thats logistics.


----------



## Mathias

Whatever happens, don't drag me into this.


----------



## AlethaBBW

Is the Ziti singing to you, too?


----------



## rellis10

ME WINS!!!!!!


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Nature is fucking wonderful..


----------



## penguin

fucking in nature is wonderful.


except for the mosquitoes.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

penguin said:


> fucking in nature is wonderful.
> 
> 
> except for the mosquitoes.


I would be more paranoid of Ants and Bee's, though mosquito's would be a pain in the ass, I suppose.



...Er.

"Shmitty-Weberman-Jenson ... HE was NUMBER ONE!"


----------



## rellis10

*to self* Do NOT leave it untill the last two days this time :happy:


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I think I just gave my pink parts frost bite.


----------



## Linda

It feels good this time.


----------



## Surlysomething

When they use the lathe it makes the building sound like an eruption of vuvuzelas!


----------



## snuggletiger

Im so cold an ice cube would feel warm.


----------



## Dmitra

Lips like Heaven.


----------



## Heyyou

I love low low prices.


----------



## KittyKitten

I can't wait 'til spring so I can paint my toes and wear sandals


----------



## Linda

Thank goodness that is done.


----------



## Heyyou

Take these broken wings and learn.


----------



## mossystate

yeah, that didn't happen


----------



## Heyyou

And learn to fly again, learn to live soo free.


----------



## AmazingAmy

You will always be the Awder to my Isotta.


----------



## AlethaBBW

It was fun, for a while.


----------



## CastingPearls

"Well, she was supposed to die in that freak can-opener accident, so Death drove an icicle through a skylight."


----------



## Heyyou

Hey-hey, sha la la, hey-hey sha-la-la-la.


----------



## spiritangel

I love being creative and making gifts for friends


----------



## Heyyou

Alrighty, we shoot three times THEN say "get on the ground," thanks officer.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

One does not just_ lambada_ into Mordor...


----------



## Your Plump Princess

He's so amazing, I just wish HE could realize it..


----------



## AmazingAmy

They're popular for a reason and always will be. Stop worrying.


----------



## penguin

Oh dear god boobs, why are you hurting like that??


----------



## Heyyou

I just got FREE KFC!  And i gave $1 to the St. Jude's Muscular Dystrophy Association.


----------



## CastingPearls

You're a lolninja fatty and imma lolthief fatty.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Don't fuck with my friends, you only get one warning.


----------



## Heyyou

I am amused.


----------



## spiritangel

come on rain I can hear thunder and lightning its your turn to appear!!


----------



## Inhibited

Am craving Chicken Nachos


----------



## Mishty

I had chicken nachos with two blocks of Mexican melting cheese tonight....
Cheese is god.


----------



## Linda

I need a lot more sleep.


----------



## Heyyou

TGIF, everyone, on this fine day!


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Jeebus, The details are so hard to price for!


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

At one point when the rabbit kept drawing another line and daring him to cross it, Yosemite Sam eventually just got out the six guns and began shooting...


----------



## penguin

whoa, hormonal downswing.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Oh please, _please_, go right ahead!


----------



## Heyyou

Wow You Should Have Seen How Amazing This Day Was! Im Telling You, Im An Amazing Individual! :d


----------



## Dmitra

The face of three smiles.


----------



## CastingPearls

Um...no and no...just....no.


----------



## Heyyou

The word of the day is "wheeled apparatus."


----------



## Inhibited

I literally need new wheels..


----------



## Linda

Please do not text me when she is sitting next to you; in fact, please do not text me at all.


----------



## Lamia

A tsunami of obesity worldwide. (my new favorite headline)


----------



## Famouslastwords

Something happens and I'm head over heels.


----------



## Inhibited

You got a door, you got a gym!


----------



## AuntHen

Famouslastwords said:


> Something happens and I'm head over heels.



well, just don't take my heart don't break my heart and for the love of all that's good, don't throw it away!


----------



## penguin

Inhibited said:


> You got a door, you got a gym!



I HATE THAT AD.


----------



## CleverBomb

Famouslastwords said:


> Something happens and I'm head over heels.





fat9276 said:


> well, just don't take my heart don't break my heart and for the love of all that's good, don't throw it away!



Wake me up when things get started.

-Rusty


----------



## Adamantoise

I like peas.


----------



## CastingPearls

Imagine whirled peas


----------



## SuperMishe

My random sentence for the day:

I find it amusing that any time, day or night, you come to the Dims forums, you will find the Pay Site Preview board being viewed by "a million" more people than any other board... just sayin...


----------



## luscious_lulu

Happiness is realizing you don't need to set your alarm clock.


----------



## Bigtigmom

I'm never going to understand it, so I just have to stop trying.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Inhibited said:


> You got a door, you got a gym!




LMAO!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA ROTFLMAO! that was hilarious! i have seen that commercial.



"this DVD can change your LIFE!".


LOL


----------



## penguin

It's too hot. My boobies require freedom and air. Be gone bra, be gone!


----------



## HeavyDuty24

penguin said:


> It's too hot. My boobies require freedom and air. Be gone bra, be gone!




LOL excellent choice penguin excellent choice.:bow::happy:


----------



## Inhibited

HeavyDuty24 said:


> LMAO!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA ROTFLMAO! that was hilarious! i have seen that commercial.
> 
> 
> 
> "this DVD can change your LIFE!".
> 
> 
> LOL



lol sold me .. my doors aren't in the middle of the room though they are more in the corner so i can't really use it ..


----------



## spiritangel

Bigtigmom said:


> I'm never going to understand it, so I just have to stop trying.



Hugs yep sometimes life is like that


----------



## littlefairywren

Inhibited said:


> You got a door, you got a gym!



Hahaha! I fell asleep after watching that ad in the wee hours this morning, and had a dream about the bald dude, Randy. He hung himself on the door in my dream, got all tangled in his pulley cords.


----------



## penguin

HeavyDuty24 said:


> LOL excellent choice penguin excellent choice.:bow::happy:



I thought that might get approval 



Inhibited said:


> lol sold me .. my doors aren't in the middle of the room though they are more in the corner so i can't really use it ..



I think that every time I see it too! Most rooms have doors in the corner here from what I've seen.


----------



## Cece Larue

These numbers are driving me insane.


----------



## spiritangel

I am one very very lucky woman


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Inhibited said:


> lol sold me .. my doors aren't in the middle of the room though they are more in the corner so i can't really use it ..




LOL yeah.i wanted to start it too but as you say i really don't have a free door with alot of space.LOL that's one of the reasons i can't start my P90X because not enough room.LOL


----------



## HeavyDuty24

penguin said:


> I thought that might get approval



LOL! you knew it would. :bow:


----------



## HeavyDuty24

and um my random sentence.did my post get deleted in a certain topic?:blink:


----------



## HeavyDuty24

littlefairywren said:


> Hahaha! I fell asleep after watching that ad in the wee hours this morning, and had a dream about the bald dude, Randy. He hung himself on the door in my dream, got all tangled in his pulley cords.




LMAO!!!! HAHAHAHA why do they always show that commercial at night? LOL


----------



## Famouslastwords

With every bubble she sank with her drink and washed it away down the kitchen sink.


----------



## Heyyou

Keep on lying, you will get cast into the lake of fire.


----------



## Heyyou

HeavyDuty24 said:


> LOL yeah.i wanted to start it too but as you say i really don't have a free door with alot of space.LOL that's one of the reasons i can't start my P90X because not enough room.LOL



I joined a gym instead of P90X. I will be doing calisthetics today, waving the sign making some $$ and also its easier to focus in a gym than your house, where you have a computer and phone. Leave that stuff at home and go PUMP SOME IRON!! Now, to get over there, its commitment.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I am going to Florida!!!! WHEEEEE!! :: does the happy booty dance::


----------



## spiritangel

hmmm I am washing and washing but the pile seems about the same size darn you cute enviromentally friendly small washing machine


----------



## AlethaBBW

Wake up in the morning feeling like Pee Diddy...and then tell Jossie about it.


----------



## Heyyou

I think its funny some of the things that go on.

Unread.


----------



## Linda

Seriously!! Stop snowing!!!!!!!!


----------



## Heyyou

Yeah the 88s look cool and perhaps more streamlined, especially with a cool paint job, but the 84s look their own kind of sporty and mean.


----------



## AmazingAmy

I wanted it to be me!


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

We're just friends, and I know that. Why is making dinner with you making me so nervous?


----------



## Gingembre

I really wanted to jump your bones this evening. One bone in particular.


----------



## penguin

Simple mathematics, it looks like you might have won this round. Holy fuck.


----------



## Heyyou

"I see!" said the blind man, to the deaf man as they walked off the cliff.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Fuck me like you hate me


----------



## Kurvaceous_Kelsey

I am in dire need of a back massage...


----------



## Mathias

Don't worry, I'm ok.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

I don't know why I was nervous.


----------



## CastingPearls

I never thought I was capable of hating someone I used to love so much.


----------



## mossystate

damage control, honey...go


----------



## penguin

I want to know *now*.


----------



## Heyyou

FL showin up PA, thats whats up.

Maybe there IS hope for Florida after all


----------



## HeavyDuty24

glad most of the the snow is gone,let the training commence back!


----------



## Mathias

That halftime show sucked.


----------



## spiritangel

Seriously crazy next door I do not need to be told aldi has an evaporative cooler for $49 I bought a new one two weeks ago for $10 more I can live with that after the heatwave!!


----------



## Bigtigmom

Wondering how long he can go without giving into his need.


----------



## penguin

I think my boobs are trying to kill me.


----------



## lalatx

It probably won't work but man do I want to give it another try.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

looks like your a liar.LOL


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Who thought it was a good idea to hand those people Microphones?


----------



## Dmitra

It was a robot head!


----------



## Heyyou

"Almost" is not a hard concept to understand. It does not correlate to pregnancy.


----------



## mossystate

20 something year old men are easier for you to handle...obviously

your face...the same feeling



ok, that was two sentences


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Please, can't you play something decent, your making me rather tempted to gag my with a rusted spork just for decent entertainment.

[/Run-on sentence]


----------



## Linda

Don't we all use some sort of public venue to voice our opinions?


----------



## Heyyou

We got it! Your order is being made right now! Estimated delivery time 8:38PM.


----------



## KittyKitten

I don't find SuperBowl commercial ads funny nor appealing in any way.


----------



## AmazingAmy

Getting bored of all the new British dramas that try to be sexy... it just never seems to work for us.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

is there really true happiness for the good hearted?


----------



## Famouslastwords

"We're just like you, only prettier."


----------



## lalatx

Stop calling me it has moved into the creepy stalker phase.


----------



## Heyyou

Improved performance and better gas mileage are only a few minutes and a twist of the wrench away.


----------



## rg770Ibanez

"The only way to erase is to replace"


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Your such a silly little girl, dreaming of love and fantasy, when will you wake up....face the decay that is reality?


----------



## spiritangel

why does it always feel like I leave everything to the last minute even if I have been working my behind off for like a week


----------



## Bigtigmom

I can't help but wonder what the criteria was, but thank you I'm sure it will help.


----------



## largenlovely

Thank you for not complicating this  cuz this is just what i need right now.


----------



## snuggletiger

Vote for Fife.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

i love you Fatal Fury and SNK both with all my heart so much.:happy::bow:


----------



## AmazingAmy

I suppose _I'll_ do the dishes, shall I?


----------



## spiritangel

I am seriously dissappointed in the youth of australia right now


----------



## Stroker Ace

The Revolution will not be televised!

The Revolution will be no re-run brothers (and sisters)...

The Revolution will be live!- Gil Scott-Heron

I'll add that the revolution start with wonderful people like us. Live your dream, live by example. Live free so that others mave freely live!:bow:


----------



## penguin

I miss saving water and showering with a friend.


----------



## Inhibited

I'm coming to get you!!


----------



## Famouslastwords

I was sick in the head for him, and there wasn't a cure.


----------



## Nose_body_knows

my cat wants to go out but is raining...haha sucked in.


----------



## Linda

I'm on my way !!!


----------



## Your Plump Princess

If I wasn't so stupid, I'd go close it, but then I'd overheat.


----------



## KHayes666

What height? You have no height to make fun of. Go out and get some height and we'll make fun of it


----------



## OneWickedAngel

I didn't think I'd like it strung up on the wall like that, but it works.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

I'd never suspect such an innocent inanimate object to attack me.... Bastard.


----------



## Adamantoise

Something,something in the month of May...


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Zomfg He started out in an episode of that?!


----------



## penguin

I'm still waiting.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Something Nombly for someone Nombly.


----------



## Adamantoise

I can't think straight... @,@


----------



## spiritangel

I am so very very lucky to have a friend like you!!


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

It's bad when your whole day consists of dozens of 80s TV theme songs all strung together into one cacophonous mess, circling around and around in your brain amidst blips of naked bellies, Star Trek quotes and a general dislike of everything Kanye West has ever made.


----------



## penguin

The more I think about it, the more confused I am.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

Linda, you're the best because you always make me laugh; therefore I shall start e-stalking you.


----------



## Mishty

Those deep fried peanuts I ate today have given me the worst case of the loud farts I've had since college....


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

Mishty said:


> Those deep fried peanuts I ate today have given me the worst case of the loud farts I've had since college....



HAHAHA, I'm laughing so hard right. I repped you for something earlier, and I REALLY wish I would have saved it for this . . . HAHAHAhaha loud farts.


----------



## KittyKitten

Guys that look like Flavor Flav on meth have no bizness criticizing another woman's looks.


----------



## AmazingAmy

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> HAHAHA, I'm laughing so hard right. I repped you for something earlier, and I REALLY wish I would have saved it for this . . . HAHAHAhaha loud farts.



I got her for you! Too funny!


----------



## Heyyou

I have my backwards hat on, in spirit, all the time.


----------



## luscious_lulu

I f*cking love Fridays!


----------



## mossystate

If it is, then it would fit you perfectly.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Do you really think that being rude to me will make my company want to do business with you?


----------



## Emma

I sometimes look at your facebook profile. You have your wall open to the public. HA.


----------



## penguin

Just thinking about it makes me feel raw.


----------



## Linda

Seriously? I am the only one who rented that movie?


----------



## snuggletiger

Looking back maybe just maybe the phrase "Its the empty wine bottles around your bed that make folks think you're an alkie" might not be so funny.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

wow awesome game.:bow::happy:


----------



## Mathias

La who za her.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

..No, damnit I am NOT inviting him to dinner.


----------



## Heyyou

Poor customer service drives me away from companies.


----------



## Heyyou

Put some hickory in there!


----------



## spiritangel

11hrs sleep is crazy the fact I still feel sleepy is just well even crazier


----------



## Linda

You shouldn't have let him go.


----------



## penguin

New batteries make all the difference.


----------



## spiritangel

omg that was the email reading from hell I seriously thought it would never end


----------



## Mishty

I am not excited about seeing William's greatest love story played out by gnomes, but the promise of buttery pop corn and cheesy nachos makes me squee.


----------



## mossystate

_I_ should buy a Magic 8 Ball.


----------



## spiritangel

I am hopelessly addicted to harry potter the musical on youtube I cant help it its so bad and funny and brilliant all wrapped up into one sooo like the first time you watch the princess bride


----------



## Linda

Wake up already!!


----------



## Inhibited

This world could not survive without me ...


----------



## luscious_lulu

I love life.


----------



## Blackhawk2293

My Department can't even treat their own workers with respect so you have no hope!


----------



## penguin

I want that. *sigh*


----------



## Heyyou

Right on Blackhawk and penguin, i worked so hard today i even sold my camera and now i have inroads to even more work and im going to have such a great sleep, oh i dream of how great the sleep will be, it makes me sleepy, viva la vida today was a KICK ASS DAY if there ever was one, SO MUCH FUN, shooting pellets and peeling out included, camaraderie with new affiliates in the paper chase down here!


----------



## Mathias

I don't know how on earth I missed that the first time, but it was utter gold!


----------



## Linda

I love watching Overhaul!


----------



## biggirlsrock

Fucking cable is out AGAIN!!!


----------



## Heyyou

Oh, great, now i have weevils.


----------



## snuggletiger

Pardon me Diva, but its still all about me. And since you are of this background________________ I'll talk slower so the polysyllables don't confuse you. *paaresque eyeroll*


----------



## Heyyou

luscious_lulu said:


> I love life.



I love it more.


----------



## Heyyou

Today is going so great im so thankful, perfect weather, just took a nice drive, good food, great people, possible money opportunity, and time to do my own hair cut, today is the best, just like yesterday, im laughing too!


----------



## Linda

Hurry, hurry get on the road so we can chat!!


----------



## CastingPearls

OMG it fits?? IT FITS!!!


----------



## rg770Ibanez

Is this girl for real addicted to eating chalk?


----------



## AmazingAmy

Snape eyed Harry, tracing his mouth with one long, thin finger as he did so.


----------



## penguin

AmazingAmy said:


> Snape eyed Harry, tracing his mouth with one long, thin finger as he did so.



Wait, Harry's mouth or Snape's??


----------



## Deacone

I need to pee.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

I need to hurl!


----------



## Mathias

Mick Jagger go sit down somewhere.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

That was one mother of a nosebleed this morning; not quite the hallway scene in The Shining, but it felt like it.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

ok.you said one thing and did another.i see,looks like you weren't telling the complete truth...


----------



## Nose_body_knows

I finally got the Formular Gran Turismo car in Gran Turismo 5...only took a month.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

argh everything looked so awesome,me wants it all!:doh:


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

I had a great time chatting . . . "cock" picture and all


----------



## HeavyDuty24

lol i can't believe you! o well guess im kinda not surprised...


----------



## Deacone

i'd rather put out a campfire with my face than feel like this.


----------



## Linda

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda......may your jealousy keep you up countless hours.


----------



## Heyyou

I got MUCH love for my (little) money and friends this Monday!


----------



## snuggletiger

rg770Ibanez said:


> Is this girl for real addicted to eating chalk?



Yes it is, in my 2nd grade class we had a girl that used to eat crayons.


----------



## mossystate

Doing it should be the reward.


----------



## comaseason

The wild Wemme is known for eating it's young if it discovers they like Neil Diamond.


----------



## penguin

This is just getting ridiculous.


----------



## CastingPearls

I guess it could have been worse.


----------



## spiritangel

snuggletiger said:


> Yes it is, in my 2nd grade class we had a girl that used to eat crayons.



hmm that was me in kindergarten :blush: got busted when I decided it would be a good idea to eat the black crayon


OMG Its like crafty christmas here sooo much fun stuff to play with now the hard part where to put it all ......................


----------



## Heyyou

We play the music to make your ears smile, and then X102.9 shows up in a van with no windows and a box full of puppies!


----------



## mossystate

The way to a man's heart is through his chest.


----------



## WVMountainrear

Well, shit.


----------



## Mathias

Screw Valentines Day, I can't wait for Holiday chocolate discount day tomorrow!
:eat1:


----------



## Linda

Ok that tasted horrible and now I have to figure out how to get the taste out of my mouth. Brushing three times didn't work.


----------



## AmazingAmy

Linda said:


> Ok that tasted horrible and now I have to figure out how to get the taste out of my mouth. Brushing three times didn't work.



I hear getting him to eat pineapple beforehand makes it sweeter.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

wow it all makes sense now...i should have known.everything adds up now i realize.


----------



## Heyyou

Valentines day night aint got nothin on the love affair i got with low low prices.


----------



## CastingPearls

Gee, I didn't know hookers took coupons....wadda you know.


----------



## littlefairywren

I can't believe that you would post those words, and not consider that it would hurt her....shame on you!!!


----------



## mossystate

That's how you spend the night with your SO?:blink:


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Your misery brings me joy...cry harder! Harder! Harder!


----------



## Mathias

Dude, you need to leave her the fuck alone.


----------



## Mishty

I like creepy men, the weirder the better.


----------



## russianrobot

wim wenders & tokyo-ga


----------



## littlefairywren

He is a horrendous lemon!


----------



## Deacone

Johnson can you do Broccoli flail? Puh-LEEEZE!


----------



## luscious_lulu

CastingPearls said:


> Gee, I didn't know hookers took coupons....wadda you know.



*giggles*
I <3 u


----------



## snuggletiger

Maybe rattling the ice in my glass at the direction of the lost lady in the midst of a crowded restaurant and saying "Here drunkie drunkie" could be considered a bad thing


----------



## Deacone

Your coffee is not the only thing I like to put whipped cream on


----------



## Heyyou

Leftover General Tso chicken from Walmart at low low prices i plain old "forgot about" the night i got it (last night) is awesome, especially put together with more chicken from Popeyes.


----------



## mossystate

Very fat women do not owe you an explanation of why they are fat, or to admit anything.


----------



## Bigtigmom

mossystate said:


> Very fat women do not owe you an explanation of why they are fat, or to admit anything.



As soon as I read your post I immediately envisioned a t-shirt saying:
"I'll tell you why I'm so fat after you tell me why you're so stupid" ,of course there could be many variations on the ending. LOL


----------



## snuggletiger

Its where its at.


----------



## StickMan

I need to add "test fire my Nerf gun" to my list of morning rituals.


----------



## Heyyou

Bigtigmom said:


> As soon as I read your post I immediately envisioned a t-shirt saying:
> "I'll tell you why I'm so fat after you tell me why you're so stupid" ,of course there could be many variations on the ending. LOL



Im with stupid


----------



## luscious_lulu

I must bite my tongue before I say something that will get me banned.


----------



## CastingPearls

Some people are their own best company.

There, I said it for you


----------



## Heyyou

Today is the greatest day i have ever known, and i dont mean that in a Smashing Pumpkins kind of way.


----------



## penguin

I hate waiting.


----------



## KittyKitten

Heyyou said:


> Poor customer service drives me away from companies.



Hell yeah, act like a bitch and I will take my business elsewhere.


----------



## CastingPearls

That sounds like a bad set-up for a Bugs Bunny cartoon.


----------



## KHayes666

Y'all know me, still the same old G....but I been low key. Hated on by most these niggas with no cheese, no skills and no G's. No boats, no snowmobiles and no skiis. Mad at me because I can finally afford to provide my family with groceries.


----------



## CleverBomb

That's when i reach for my revolver.

-Rusty


----------



## snuggletiger

anybody sing Gilbert & Sullivan anymore?


----------



## WVMountainrear

This could be trouble.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Wonder if I can sell myself on e-bay to pay for moving expenses??? Probably, better question - would anyone even bid? ( I talk to myself a lot hehehe )


----------



## CastingPearls

Mirror mirror on the ceiling, just how good is kitty feeling?


----------



## Mathias

I suppose this will have to do.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

"you told me...to use any technique that works...never limiting myself to one style...you taught me to keep open mind".


----------



## penguin

Finding a third party for a threesome isn't as easy as it sounds.


----------



## Famouslastwords

And all the times we've ever crossed, was just to keep you here.


----------



## KHayes666

snuggletiger said:


> anybody sing Gilbert & Sullivan anymore?



A British tar is a soaring sword, that's free as a mountain bird.....


----------



## Dmitra

Talkin' 'bout my d-d-degeneration.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

CastingPearls said:


> Mirror mirror on the ceiling, just how good is kitty feeling?



Gee! Why is the Divinyls suddenly going through my head?


----------



## snuggletiger

My next dungeons and dragons game (Im a Level 1 Gnome Bard) I am going to sing "The Major general song"


----------



## OneWickedAngel

snuggletiger said:


> My next dungeons and dragons game (Im a Level 1 Gnome Bard) I am going to sing "The Major general song"



As long as you don't sing Buttercup. (Not even Abba)


----------



## WVMountainrear

penguin said:


> Finding a third party for a threesome isn't as easy as it sounds.



Ain't that the fuckin' truth.


----------



## snuggletiger

OneWickedAngel said:


> As long as you don't sing Buttercup. (Not even Abba)



Might be "A song of Sixpence"


----------



## snuggletiger

lovelylady78 said:


> Ain't that the fuckin' truth.



Ehhhhh 2's company...3's a crowd.


----------



## spiritangel

Starkid Potter is awesome (yes I am still obsessed I even bought the soundtracks)


----------



## Mathias

It's so fluffy I'm gonna die!! :bounce:


----------



## penguin

lovelylady78 said:


> Ain't that the fuckin' truth.



Hey baby, what you doing later?



snuggletiger said:


> Ehhhhh 2's company...3's a crowd.



So I guess you don't want an invite?


----------



## WVMountainrear

I have a three-day weekend coming up (Sat-Mon), and I have nothing to do, which for most people (and for me most of the time) would be good news, but I find myself a little sad that I don't have big plans. :huh:


----------



## Linda

I don't feel so good. I have a rumbly in my tumbly. This isn't going to be good....


----------



## HeavyDuty24

i honestly don't know,wtf it's just life.lol


----------



## penguin

holy fuck that hurts


----------



## Mathias

Dude... I can't even...just...WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! :doh:


----------



## littlefairywren

I feel sick and my head hurts


----------



## Famouslastwords

Feel damn you, feel, like you're alive again.


----------



## KHayes666

The Lakers were done in by.....Greg Kite. When Parish got in foul trouble in the second quarter Kite came in. He scored no points but grabbed 9 boards, blocked a Magic layup and put his huge, clumsy body all over Kareem.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

man really love this tune,i feel freeeee!


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Tonight's gonna be a good, good night!!!


----------



## spiritangel

all I hear in my mind is singing "evil plans we are making evil plans"


----------



## Dmitra

Whispered words we welcome.


----------



## Blackjack

You really, really don't fucking get it- but I'm not really surprised.


----------



## penguin

Cleaning has been called on account of Mario Kart.


----------



## Inhibited

use, baad gramar and, make, big choppy senteces, and mabee, use lotza commas..


----------



## Your Plump Princess

.....Don't you dare hurt that poor sweet man again, or so help me godzilla, you'll fucking rue the day.


----------



## spiritangel

ow ow and ow


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

Linda said:


> I don't feel so good. I have a rumbly in my tumbly. This isn't going to be good....



hopefully it's just gas ;-)


----------



## PunkyGurly74

My legs hurt sooooo bad


----------



## CastingPearls

Funky Gerbil your boogie cannot fail.


----------



## Heyyou

CastingPearls said:


> Funky Gerbil your boogie cannot fail.



Dont you mean Hamster? "Dee daa dee daa dee dii doo doo!" http://www.webhamster.com/

http://www.webhamster.com/


----------



## Heyyou

It has a dipstick........it just sits in the drivers seat in his case!


----------



## mossystate

I'm a bbw female and I just looooooooooove when a man goes down on me. I thought people would want to know!

:bow:


----------



## HeavyDuty24

penguin said:


> Cleaning has been called on account of Mario Kart.




omg i LOVE Mario Kart! here we gooooooo! lol *throws turtle shell at yo ass*.LOL


----------



## WVMountainrear

I want to run away...just for a little while.


----------



## Inhibited

Please come out and show yourself so i can go back to sleep


----------



## WVMountainrear

It's hard to look authoritative wearing edible jewelry.


----------



## mossystate

the guy must have a LOT of money, or those women are desperate


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

Heyyou said:


> It has a dipstick........it just sits in the drivers seat in his case!



He's just thinkin' wi' his dipstick, Jimmeh! (whap!)


----------



## CastingPearls

Heyyou said:


> Dont you mean Hamster? "Dee daa dee daa dee dii doo doo!" http://www.webhamster.com/
> 
> http://www.webhamster.com/


Cute but no. I said what I meant and I meant what I said.


----------



## Mishty

Virgins are fun the first time.


----------



## littlefairywren

Inhibited said:


> Please come out and show yourself so i can go back to sleep



One guess.....a spider? I had a white tail in my bedroom a while back, and even though a sprayed and squashed it, there was no way I was turning the light off without finding it and flushing it!


----------



## Dmitra

Si vous continuez a vous conduire comme ca, je jure de noyer mon souffle dans du ketchup.


----------



## Inhibited

littlefairywren said:


> One guess.....a spider? I had a white tail in my bedroom a while back, and even though a sprayed and squashed it, there was no way I was turning the light off without finding it and flushing it!



lol am not sure what it was i felt something crawling on my cheek and got up so fast it was gone when i looked... couldn't go back to sleep until i knew what it was... still don't know but eventually just fell asleep with the light on..


----------



## PunkyGurly74

For the love of all that is holy, if you are going to screw me, can you at least give me time to get my pants down you f'ing piece of dog excrement.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

..It's like dropping a nice ring down the drain, only to have people fling sludge ontop of it so you can't see it with a flashlight.


----------



## spiritangel

I hate being treated like a baby I have been out of home since I was 18 I think I know how to look after myself injured or not


----------



## CastingPearls

How 'bout never? "Never" work for you? Works for me!


----------



## mango

*om nom nom nom nom


:eat1:
*


----------



## penguin

Time to go pretty myself up! It's almost party time


----------



## spiritangel

I enjoyed that far more than i thought I would


----------



## Your Plump Princess

.... Seriously, What the HELL are you doing?


----------



## spiritangel

must bake cake


----------



## Heyyou

Im a girl watcher, im a girl watcher, watching girls go by.

My, my, my.


----------



## WVMountainrear

I just bought my very first webcam. :happy:


----------



## rellis10

Snow?! Again!?!?!


----------



## spiritangel

Wow I thought AVPM was cool and hillarious turns out Me and my dick was just as funny worth watching just for the flying vaginas, then the drama of little white lies I cannot wait to see what starkid do next


----------



## Heyyou

There is nothing that can be done about your defect, so just use it and go easy on the throttle.


----------



## Alicia33

Where did my bobby pin go


----------



## Heyyou

Firefox 4 is code-named Tumucumaque, after the world's largest rainforest park.


----------



## Alicia33

Heyyou said:


> Firefox 4 is code-named Tumucumaque, after the world's largest rainforest park.



I didn't know that 

'Why is the rum always gone?'


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

what a weekend . . . and it's not even OVER!


----------



## rellis10

Mmmmnom Lasagne :eat1:


----------



## Deacone

Ohhh matron. :>


----------



## Heyyou

If you are having girl problems, i would like to say that i do in fact feel bad for you, sonny boy because i myself, i can tell you that i have as many as 99 problems at any given time, however the female is not one of even the 99 problems that i am having or experiencing at this time.


----------



## Mishty

Pull over to the side of the road
I heard "Son do you know why I'm stoppin' you for?"
Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hats real low?
Do I look like a mind reader sir, I don't know
Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo'?
"Well you was doin fifty-five in a fifty-fo' "


----------



## Heyyou

I ain't stepping out of anything sir all my papers are legit


----------



## Mathias

Thank God I didn't go out with them last night.


----------



## WVMountainrear

I <3 Skype. How have I survived this long without a webcam???


----------



## Mishty

I'm sitting on the toilet hiding from my entire family eating a pack of sour skittles, thank Jebus for wireless internet.


----------



## spiritangel

another early morning wow


----------



## Heyyou

I am unequaled in the skilled, masterful, amazingly nutty application of Carb and Choke cleaner, i can work wonders!


----------



## CastingPearls

If I warned her about him would she even listen?


----------



## SSBBW Katerina

.... makes me smile every time. So so adorable.:happy:


----------



## penguin

This stupidly hot weather makes me wonder if anyone has a thing for sweaty fat women.


----------



## Mishty

penguin said:


> This stupidly hot weather makes me wonder if anyone has a thing for sweaty fat women.



Around here little lady? :blink:
You'd be surprised..... 

Ever heard of 2 FA's 1 cup?


----------



## penguin

Mishty said:


> Around here little lady? :blink:
> You'd be surprised.....



It's just so hard to feel attractive when it's this hot and humid, but I figure someone out there has gotta like it 



Mishty said:


> Ever heard of 2 FA's 1 cup?



...I don't know if I want to know!


----------



## littlefairywren

I always knew it would be a relief when you finally defriended me!


----------



## spiritangel

Wow loving how it's turning out and grr to running out of the large aqua bling


----------



## Linda

Keep it up....you're going to be the grass and I am going to be the lawnmower.


----------



## Mathias

You're really starting to piss me off.


----------



## penguin

Fuck yeah, big thunderstorm is coming in!


----------



## Mishty

I don't want the boner to go to waste.....


----------



## Witch-King

and that's how ended up in Tazmania.


----------



## Inhibited

Witch-King said:


> and that's how ended up in Tazmania.



o0o this makes me want to hear more...


----------



## OneWickedAngel

I just know there's a story behind this and I can't wait to hear it.


----------



## penguin

Fuck it, let's have pizza.


----------



## Dmitra

Music is the space between the notes.


----------



## Heyyou

I sometimes laugh at things, except when i bang my toe into furniture when i walk in my apartment in the dark :doh:


----------



## HeavyDuty24

i don't understand why,but ok.if you had to do it guess that's just the way it is,although i do disagree,but o well.lol


----------



## PunkyGurly74

My hips hurt....I think I spent too long in bed


----------



## rellis10

PunkyGurly74 said:


> My hips hurt....I think I spent too long in bed



I read that as Lips.....and then wondered what you'd been doing in bed to make them hurt


----------



## PunkyGurly74

recllis10 said:


> I read that as Lips.....and then wondered what you'd been doing in bed to make them hurt



hehehe...Don't I wish! I think if a boy tried to kiss me I would explode ...it has been so long. 

However, that has occurred....you know..hours of making out ...I have a vague recollection of that ....


----------



## Heyyou

You cannot put the "carb" and "choke" on backwards, idiot boy with the screwdriver.


----------



## rellis10

Ever walk into a room and just feel how rotten the atmosphere is and want to leave right away?


----------



## Gingembre

Time to get ready for work again ALREADY?


----------



## WVMountainrear

Why can nothing be simple?


----------



## PunkyGurly74

lovelylady78 said:


> Why can nothing be simple?



Simple syrup???


----------



## WVMountainrear

PunkyGurly74 said:


> Simple syrup???



Excellent example...even making simple syrup involves more than one ingredient and a pot and a heat source and stirring.


----------



## Mathias

"Choose between one life or the other; your friend the District Attorney, or his blushing bride to be!!"


----------



## penguin

I can't decide whether I need a lot of sex or to be punched in the uterus.


----------



## Famouslastwords

I know you love me, love me for who I am, because years before I became who I am baby you were my man.


----------



## Mishty

Every girl remembers her first big dick, son.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

..Sure, Great Idea, Let's stick a bunch of elderly people on an effing house boat.. no chance of disaster THERE.


----------



## rellis10

Please don't lose to the Netherlands....again :doh:


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Well no shit, that's like poking a tiger in the eye and being surprised when it mauls you! :doh:


----------



## KittyKitten

How come Curvations bra line is called Curvations when they don't even have a bra that goes beyond DD in stores????


----------



## Dmitra

My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine <deleted>.


----------



## CastingPearls

You talk about things that nobody cares, You're wearing out things that nobody wears, You're calling my name but I gotta make clear, I cant say baby where I'll be in a year.


----------



## spiritangel

I love my life


----------



## KittyKitten

Man, I need to find a Girl Scout, I could use some Thin Mints right now.


----------



## penguin

The Girl Scouts should deliver to Australia.


----------



## KHayes666

Lighten up Francis


----------



## snuggletiger

*Loud finger snap* And the reason I need to know you is exist is_______________________________________________________?


----------



## mossystate

It's not a competition.

I wish dinner could cook itself, or at least have a hot piece of man meat cook it for me.


2 randoms


----------



## TwilightStarr

I've never seen Star Wars


----------



## penguin

My head is threatening to explode


----------



## spiritangel

since when does good quality furniture just literally land out the front of anyones place


----------



## Dmitra

That's me in the corner


----------



## penguin

That's me in the spotlight.


----------



## Inhibited

losing my religion


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Trying to keep up with you and I don't know if I can do it.


----------



## Aust99

Ha ha... no worries mate!!


----------



## The Orange Mage

Flying by the seat of my pants in a at least 5 ways right now.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

Bag of White Cheddar Cheetos Puffs, I think I love you. :wubu:


----------



## littlefairywren

I forgot the peanut butter.


----------



## spiritangel

Hmmm not sure if it was worth the $15 or not 2 things for me, 2 for pressies for my nieces and 2 for friends hmmm not sure I would do it again


----------



## CleverBomb

Oh no, I've said too much. 

-Rusty


----------



## luscious_lulu

No work tomorrow, yay!


----------



## CastingPearls

I don't know which is worse, House on Haunted Hill all by itself or with Chris Kattan but this raspberry Smirnoff doesn't make it any better.


----------



## AmazingAmy

How freaking hard is it to catch up on a few missed days of Dims? :doh:


----------



## Blackjack

AmazingAmy said:


> How freaking hard is it to catch up on a few missed days of Dims? :doh:



Good luck.


----------



## Mathias

Seriously, take your nastiness somewhere else.  (Not talking about anyone in this thread by the way)


----------



## Heyyou

Im up late, im awake for some reason.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Aaaaand we're back!


----------



## Mathias

Blackjack said:


> Good luck.



Anybody else read that in the kidnapper's voice from Taken?


----------



## CleverBomb

Good luck. We're all counting on you.


-Rusty


----------



## Your Plump Princess

I don't mean to be cold, I just don't know what to say, it's so sad...


----------



## Dmitra

Watch yer phraseology!


----------



## mossystate

No matter what anybody says, there are some good people living in Iceland!


----------



## Aust99

I'm starting to think your flirting with me.... but don't want to get my hopes up!


----------



## HeavyDuty24

what the heck is wrong with you,get over yourself.:doh:


----------



## spiritangel

now I know why I dont do this craft very often, I miss hours of work equalling loads of progress


----------



## Linda

Where is my crochet needle?


----------



## Blackjack

Mathias said:


> Anybody else read that in the kidnapper's voice from Taken?



Do you have any idea how often I say it like the kidnapper in Taken? For absolutely no reason whatsoever, either. It just sort of replaced saying 'good luck' in a normal way.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Sleeping in FTW!


----------



## WVMountainrear

I had lunch with some of my girlfriends today, and I have no idea what I'd do without them. :wubu:


----------



## Linda

So close and yet so far away.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

*Oh for the love of Zod, will 5pm just GET HERE already!*


----------



## pegz

I'm into you.... I'm just not into your drama


----------



## Mathias

Charlie Sheen ISN'T NEWS!!


----------



## CastingPearls

An entire day to myself tomorrow. Ahhhhhhhhhhh.


----------



## CleverBomb

Good luck. We're all counting on you.


-Rusty


----------



## Mathias

So that's how the story began....


----------



## Your Plump Princess

If only I'd not been so stupid


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Blackjack said:


> Do you have any idea how often I say it like the kidnapper in Taken? For absolutely no reason whatsoever, either. It just sort of replaced saying 'good luck' in a normal way.




LMAO! i thought i was the only one who did that.

"GUD LOK".

XD


----------



## Mathias

To obtain, something of equal value must be lost...


----------



## rg770Ibanez

Fractical Axe Fx Ultra is the bomb!!!! I'm no longer a skeptic.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Mathias said:


> To obtain, something of equal value must be lost...



hey Full Metal Alchemist.:bow:


----------



## penguin

I _really_ need a full body massage right now.


----------



## Heyyou

I like my womenfriends how i like my motor oil: *HEAVY!*


----------



## WVMountainrear

"Half of my heart is a shotgun wedding to a bride with a paper ring; half of my heart is the part of a man who's never truly loved anything..."


----------



## penguin

I really need to figure out what I did to piss sleep off so much that it left me.


----------



## Dmitra

The mid-morning sunshine that day almost promised perfection.


----------



## penguin

I better not be getting sick.


----------



## CastingPearls

Okay we REALLY have to work on your evil laugh.


----------



## Fuzzy

Ow! I keep biting the inside of my cheek


----------



## rg770Ibanez

I wish I had an EQ for your voice.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

This is getting hard and harder . . .


----------



## penguin

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> This is getting hard and harder . . .



That's what she said.


I need a new chair.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

penguin said:


> That's what she said.
> 
> 
> I need a new chair.



that's what she said . . . fuck, that didn't work.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

hmmm,that was a damn good game.that's what im talking about! old-school!:happy:


----------



## penguin

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> that's what she said . . . fuck, that didn't work.



And that's what she said!

It's all in the timing!


----------



## Dmitra

At the tone the time will be 23:10. Beeeeep.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> This is getting hard and harder . . .



And that's a bad thing? *winks*


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

Trust me, it's always funnier if sped up 3x and "Yakety Sax" is playing in the background.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I miss my internets...... :: sobs softly::


----------



## WVMountainrear

Bad day...


----------



## Mathias

Time to end this.


----------



## AmazingAmy

Hot flushes in my legs but nowhere else... what an odd sensation.


----------



## luscious_lulu

I'm so excited!


----------



## OneWickedAngel

And I just can't hide it!


----------



## Mathias

You're gonna post that story, its only a matter of when...


----------



## penguin

It's nice to be validated, especially by an expert


----------



## Dmitra

I hope you're good, Cirque du Freak.


----------



## Heyyou

40/40 dolla to the man that wanna go if you spent it on a ticket at the lotto in the grocery store, i wish that i could get mines, have you got an extra dolla can you give it to a man who's po?


----------



## Heyyou

Aint nobody gonna break-a my stride. No-body gonna slooow me dowwn. Oh no! I got to keep on mooving!


----------



## WVMountainrear

penguin said:


> It's nice to be validated, especially by an expert



This piques my curiosity...


----------



## Heyyou

Federal prison is a thing best to be avoided.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

penguin said:


> It's nice to be validated, especially by an expert





lovelylady78 said:


> This piques my curiosity...



Does that come some official stamp of validation on you...somewhere?


----------



## Heyyou

OneWickedAngel said:


> Does that come some official stamp of validation on you...somewhere?



Tramp stamps are a tattoo directly above the tookus.


----------



## WVMountainrear

Heyyou said:


> Tramp stamps are a tattoo directly above the tookus.



Did you ever see those commercials for the search engine "bing" when there's a conversation going on and everyone around you starts to quote random same-sounding but unrelated from topic things? That's this reminds me of.


----------



## penguin

lovelylady78 said:


> This piques my curiosity...



As part of the court process I'm going through with my ex regarding our daughter, we had to have a family report done with a court appointed psychologist. It went very well for me, and among other things, he told me my daughter is a delightful, well adjusted child, and that she's a real credit to me and my parenting. I knew all that, but having an expert tell me is pretty damn good  plus the other parts went well too! I hope the report comes back as good (for me) as I think it will!



OneWickedAngel said:


> Does that come some official stamp of validation on you...somewhere?



Not yet, but maybe I should!


----------



## WVMountainrear

penguin said:


> As part of the court process I'm going through with my ex regarding our daughter, we had to have a family report done with a court appointed psychologist. It went very well for me, and among other things, he told me my daughter is a delightful, well adjusted child, and that she's a real credit to me and my parenting. I knew all that, but having an expert tell me is pretty damn good  plus the other parts went well too! I hope the report comes back as good (for me) as I think it will!



I don't think there can be a much better reflection on you as a person than that, penguin. Congratulations. :happy: 

(I would have repped you, but Dims tells me I rep you too much already and won't let me.)


----------



## penguin

lovelylady78 said:


> I don't think there can be a much better reflection on you as a person than that, penguin. Congratulations. :happy:
> 
> (I would have repped you, but Dims tells me I rep you too much already and won't let me.)



Thank you  at our last court appearance (which he didn't appear at, despite starting the proceedings!) the magistrate told me I was to be commended for the efforts I've gone to in keeping him a part of her life (he lives in a different state). If only _he_ could appreciate all that a but more it would be so much easier!


----------



## Heyyou

lovelylady78 said:


> I don't think there can be a much better reflection on you as a person than that, penguin. Congratulations. :happy:
> 
> (I would have repped you, but Dims tells me I rep you too much already and won't let me.)



Dims rep also inhibits my ability to rep those that deserve some rep.


----------



## Heyyou

You got spark, you got gas, you got fire.


----------



## CastingPearls

I wish I could make people burst into flames just by willing it to happen and I think for the most part it would be considered a public service so I'd gladly do it for free if I had this amazing gift.


----------



## Heyyou

That sounds so cool!


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

CastingPearls said:


> I wish I could make people burst into flames just by willing it to happen and I think for the most part it would be considered a public service so I'd gladly do it for free if I had this amazing gift.



Burn it down, Charlie. Burn it all down! 

View attachment images.jpg


----------



## Dmitra

The random number generator is broken.


----------



## littlefairywren

Woot! I am close to 300 "a" words and close to passing it. Imma going to beat you lol.


----------



## snuggletiger

I don't know what happened I was talking to Gilmorris when suddenly________________________then, well you know the rest.


----------



## littlefairywren

snuggletiger said:


> I don't know what happened I was talking to Gilmorris when suddenly________________________then, well you know the rest.



Did you go and upset Gilmorris? You know how sensitive he is!


----------



## Heyyou

Cue the 70s action movie music! *bow*-wickaa-wicka-wickaa-woomp-woomp-*bow**bowm!*-dee-doo-bee-dee-dooop!


----------



## Heyyou

You cannot put out a fire by starting a BIGGER fire to absorb the first fire, and then blowing it where you want to with a fan!!!


----------



## snuggletiger

Well Gilmorris was talking and the lady got upset.


----------



## luscious_lulu

CastingPearls said:


> I wish I could make people burst into flames just by willing it to happen and I think for the most part it would be considered a public service so I'd gladly do it for free if I had this amazing gift.



I know I'd be grateful!


----------



## luscious_lulu

I'm such a girl.


----------



## CastingPearls

I LOVE watching QVC and the calling talking with the host is drunk and she's NOT ME!


----------



## TwilightStarr

I've recently become addicted to watching Criminal Minds and I totally the cuteness between Garcia & Morgan


----------



## AmazingAmy

I just can't bring myself to look at the news anymore.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

AmazingAmy said:


> I just can't bring myself to look at the news anymore.



good. KEEP ON WRITING!!!


----------



## KittyKitten

Please don't ask me if I need assistance, I will ask for you when I need your help.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Oh..my gawdzilla, give me Louis over Edward _any_ night! 

**Swoon**


----------



## Inhibited

Ahh McCain you've done it again.....


----------



## penguin

They say knowledge is power, but sometimes ignorance is bliss :/


----------



## Linda

Virginia? I could do Virginia.


----------



## penguin

Linda said:


> Virginia? I could do Virginia.



Does she know that?


----------



## Aust99

Tim Tammy goodnesss.... mmmmmmmmmmmmm


----------



## AmazingAmy

Your Plump Princess said:


> Oh..my gawdzilla, give me Louis over Edward _any_ night!
> 
> **Swoon**



Forget Louis, give me Lestat!


----------



## OneWickedAngel

AmazingAmy said:


> Forget Louis, give me Lestat!



Townsend or Cruise?


----------



## Mathias

What happened to all the sugar?


----------



## WVMountainrear

TwilightStarr said:


> I've recently become addicted to watching Criminal Minds and I totally the cuteness between Garcia & Morgan



I love Criminal Minds and that's also one of my favorite parts of the show. 



AmazingAmy said:


> I just can't bring myself to look at the news anymore.



I've gotten to be the same way. 



Mathias said:


> What happened to all the sugar?



Here's a lil sugar for ya: :kiss2:


----------



## Heyyou

The "Star Wars Cantina" is not on the list of approved dances for Sunday school.


----------



## Mathias

Here we go again. :doh:


----------



## Dmitra

Where the H.G. Wells did those picks and strings get to?!


----------



## snuggletiger

Really thought that Elephant Man movie was a comedy. Boy was I jipped.


----------



## ButlerGirl09

I need a cupcake... <sigh


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

Honestly, I'm not sure if you push my buttons on purpose to see if I'll break first.


----------



## penguin

Oh, these dresses will be giving me awesome boob days for sure.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Shit it's all good until midnight...Cue the music and sound effects, I want to pull a Herman Munster. 
_[Darn Darn Darn Darn Darn! -Stomps feet- ]_


----------



## rg770Ibanez

I need to go to the doctor.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

omg Van Damme would be PERFECT for dancing with the stars,whhhhhy.:doh:


----------



## SSBBW Katerina

"You _ARE_ the Father"!!! Ha, ha, ha! dumbasses need to be 'fixed' and stop breeding.

*ok, its a few sentences but cracks me up.*


----------



## KittyKitten

This lady at the grocery store told me she thought I was Jennifer Hudson (2009 version), WTF?


----------



## Zowie

I know an apology doesn't cut it, but despite always ruining things I don't want to see things end.


----------



## snuggletiger

Your Plump Princess said:


> Shit it's all good until midnight...Cue the music and sound effects, I want to pull a Herman Munster.
> _[Darn Darn Darn Darn Darn! -Stomps feet- ]_



But are you going to crash through the door, and do the hand wave and grimace?


----------



## Your Plump Princess

snuggletiger said:


> But are you going to crash through the door, and do the hand wave and grimace?


Well of course! That'd only be proper.


----------



## snuggletiger

Used to Love when Herman would have a tantrum and jump up and down.


----------



## WVMountainrear

I see said the blind man.


----------



## Dmitra

It's all over, Baby Blue.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

To his deaf wife.


----------



## Heyyou

If you do a burn-out in traffic, police call it "reckless driving."


----------



## snuggletiger

Honestly Gilmorris I had no idea that ____________________ offended the lady.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Some people are just too much.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Show 'em what your made of, buddy-boy! .........fluff?


----------



## Heyyou

Everytime you go away, you take a piece of me with you.


----------



## KHayes666

*Bugles badly*


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I am ready for my next life!!!!


----------



## Your Plump Princess

...........Are you effing kidding me? 1005?


----------



## snuggletiger

No woman goes into a hair salon and says "Give me a Larry Fine"


----------



## KittyKitten

Ughhhhhhhhhhhh, I just used google image and accidently stumbled upon an autopsy pic of a famous person!


----------



## Mathias

Sequel to The Incredibles please and thank you.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

I never noticed I spoke like that before, Wtf.


----------



## KHayes666

Oh baby,....YEAAAAHHHHHH BABY...WOOOOOOOOOO BABY...I'm havin me some fun tonight....yeah


----------



## penguin

Oh, wouldn't it be lovely.


----------



## Heyyou

Its a *girl*  my Lord in a flat-bed Ford, slowing down to take a look at me!


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Mathias said:


> Sequel to The Incredibles please and thank you.



sooo agreed on that.The Underminer is waiting...


----------



## rellis10

When God gives you lemons, you find a new God!


----------



## luscious_lulu

I have jello shooters.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

I'm glad it's Friday because another hour of work is gonna do me in. _Oy gevalt!_


----------



## penguin

I'm going back to bed. Would rather it wouldn't be alone.


----------



## CastingPearls

I don't need Midol, I need bullets.


----------



## Inhibited

Chocolate easter egg for breakfast .. Shame on me ..


----------



## littlefairywren

Inhibited said:


> Chocolate easter egg for breakfast .. Shame on me ..



That sounds a completely good idea to me


----------



## luscious_lulu

My nose is numb.


----------



## CastingPearls

Funky Gerbil, your boogie cannot fail.


----------



## luscious_lulu

OMG, I'm still drunk.


----------



## Dmitra

Listen to them, children of the night. What music they make.


----------



## penguin

I have weird dreams.


----------



## littlefairywren

No Mouse, I don't want a dead huntsman spider on my bed as a surprise!!!


----------



## Heyyou

The more i watch what some people get involved in, the webs they weave, and the way they treat other people behind backs and behind computer screens and impersonal communication devices, i am glad I am an Army of One.


----------



## CleverBomb

Dmitra said:


> Listen to them, children of the night. What music they make.


I always hear that in the voice of Andre Cadrescu (or however it's spelled) from the Car Talk Christmas Special several years ago. 

-Rusty


----------



## Your Plump Princess

We're all the same, just.. all the same.


----------



## Mathias

What for you bury me in the cold cold ground?


----------



## Linda

Do I have to wait an entire year? Maybe I can move this along a little faster.


----------



## penguin

It's almost over.


----------



## CastingPearls

The only difference between this place and Titanic is Titanic had a band.


----------



## Blackjack

Less an army of one and more of a wolfpack of one.


----------



## penguin

CastingPearls said:


> The only difference between this place and Titanic is Titanic had a band.



What do you get if cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?



Halfway.


----------



## DesignAddict

Is it over yet?


----------



## penguin

I just pead all through the freezer. Whoops.


----------



## rg770Ibanez

This March 11th is gonna suck. If you live in Israel you better use your military training.


----------



## Heyyou

You drive a Ferrari with a serious expression on your face.. you drive one of these with an expression like you may, in fact, be an idiot.


----------



## rellis10

Blackjack said:


> Less an army of one and more of a wolfpack of one.



How can one comment make me immediatly think of both wrestling and The Hangover? :happy:


----------



## KHayes666

rellis10 said:


> How can one comment make me immediatly think of both wrestling and The Hangover? :happy:



I don't see Mike Tyson saying "don't turn your back on the wolfpack" but it would be cool.


----------



## Dmitra

Remember when "train wreck" actually meant a train had wrecked?


----------



## CleverBomb

These are diabolical Bozos. 

-Rusty


----------



## penguin

Well, now I don't know what to do.


----------



## Aust99

I know you can see me!!!! I can see you too!!!


----------



## WVMountainrear

My zipper keeps falling down. :doh:


----------



## luscious_lulu

Because you tell me I'm beautiful, isn't a good reason for me to add you to facebook.


----------



## The Orange Mage

Again? Really? Jeez.


----------



## penguin

Die, Little Einsteins. Die die die!


----------



## snuggletiger

If I wanted your opinion I would have given you a dummy card.


----------



## rg770Ibanez

Taco Bell, how could you betray me like this?

*sick*


----------



## Mishty

Let's just have some sex, okie dokie?


----------



## Dmitra

I constantly disappear and reappear, it's a thing I do, sub-atomically.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Gah-Damn FEKEY PEKEYS! >;O


----------



## rellis10

Mmmmmm tea *sips*


----------



## Proner

Should get over caveman look and shave a bit, tired to say 'groumpf' at any sentences like punctuation.


----------



## Mathias

I wish I had some hot chocolate. **Sigh**


----------



## littlefairywren

Mathias said:


> I wish I had some hot chocolate. **Sigh**



You and me both!!


----------



## HottiMegan

Legos hurt to step on. Duplo legos kill to step on!


----------



## superodalisque

littlefairywren said:


> You and me both!!



i thought he was hot chocolate? this calls for a new screen name.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

...What the hell was that?!


----------



## UnknownSpirit01

_berries and cream, berries and cream, I'm a little lad who likes berries and cream!_
(hopefully someone here will get the reference)


----------



## Linda

Where are you?


----------



## penguin

Holy fuck, shut up. I do not care.


----------



## Ernest Nagel

No sentence. Just wondering if there were any theories as to how this game appears to have gone viral in Charlie Sheen's mind?  Is he a possibly a secret FA? 

I know, completely off topic and non-random. Forgive me. I randomly monitor this thread and was shocked at how similar his loopy diatribes are to what's here. Perhaps he's suffering from multi-Dimensional personality disorder?


----------



## luscious_lulu

superodalisque said:


> i thought he was hot chocolate?



I thought the same thing!


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

You can't dust for vomit.


----------



## snuggletiger

You're single because dirty litter box isn't a fragrance.


----------



## Dmitra

If silence is golden what does that make cacophony?


----------



## penguin

I feel lost.


----------



## snuggletiger

Dmitra said:


> If silence is golden what does that make cacophony?



Makes Cacophony crumpled up tin foil.


----------



## WVMountainrear

I hate to say this out loud (or hate to put it where others can read it at least) because I have *never* thought of myself in these terms before, but I don't know if I'm really confused right now or if I'm just being fickle. (Or is that the same thing??) :huh:


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I have been rejected by Dims ....le sigh


----------



## penguin

I'm not a fan of the teal deer. Learn to be brief, or shut up.


----------



## Mathias

superodalisque said:


> i thought he was hot chocolate? this calls for a new screen name.





luscious_lulu said:


> I thought the same thing!



:blush: ...............


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Wait...what was I gonna post?........uhh.. something funny...........random.....like gypsies juggling jam-jams..yes, quite right.


----------



## Mathias

I miss her...


----------



## Inhibited

Will you accept me just the way i'am?


----------



## Aust99

Where have all the Aussies gone??


----------



## luscious_lulu

I'm way too productive today.


----------



## penguin

Aust99 said:


> Where have all the Aussies gone??



I'm right here! Maybe I shouldn't hide in the corner with the lights off, waiting for you to come home...


I don't feel like competing. I know I won't win.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I have an interview tomorrow!I have an interview tomorrow!!!!! :: does happy booty dance!!!!! ::


----------



## penguin

I should probably get out of bed.


----------



## WVMountainrear

I just noticed that I've had my panties on inside out all day (FAIL).


----------



## Aust99

Just get through these next 6 hours... Then you can nap!!! Let the children play!!!


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Everything is going swimmingly, how amazing!


----------



## CastingPearls

Someone needs to either get the prescription of his glasses checked or slow down on the Wild Turkey.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Tell it to the chicken, the chic-KEN. Cluck-CLUCK!


----------



## penguin

I think I'm the eternal fifth wheel.


----------



## Linda

Silence makes me nervous.


----------



## Stroker Ace

I pretty much raise holy hell, then kick the ever loving shit out if it!


----------



## snuggletiger

They say its hard being perfect but I give it my all every damn F***ing day


----------



## superodalisque

i love him


----------



## superodalisque

:kiss2:


PunkyGurly74 said:


> I have been rejected by Dims ....le sigh



wear it as a badge of honor baby. it means you are still being you!

btw i love your le pout


----------



## CastingPearls

If he hates fat chicks so much then why is looking at me like I'm a pork chop?


----------



## DesignAddict

I wasn't expecting that.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

superodalisque said:


> :kiss2:
> 
> wear it as a badge of honor baby. it means you are still being you!
> 
> btw i love your le pout



LOL I should have explained (it wouldn't let me post pictures), but, I shall! hehehe - but, thank you ...a well placed le pout goes a long way sometimes


----------



## tuffghost

OMG I'm having Perogies for dinner!


----------



## HottiMegan

I think i'm going to take my first nap in a very long time.


----------



## penguin

tuffghost said:


> OMG I'm having Perogies for dinner!



I so read that as penguins.


----------



## Blackjack

penguin said:


> I so read that as penguins.



She's eating you for dinner.

I'll be in my bunk.


----------



## penguin

Blackjack said:


> She's eating you for dinner.
> 
> I'll be in my bunk.



woohoo! I'm gonna get some action.


----------



## Inhibited

penguin said:


> woohoo! I'm gonna get some action.



Why can't i be you ?


----------



## penguin

Inhibited said:


> Why can't i be you ?



You mean like this? You can always join in!


----------



## Inhibited

penguin said:


> You mean like this? You can always join in!



lol i kinda meant in general.... but will accept the invite


----------



## penguin

Inhibited said:


> lol i kinda meant in general.... but will accept the invite



Well, it'd confuse my family, I'm sure


----------



## Inhibited

penguin said:


> Well, it'd confuse my family, I'm sure



lol i could be you right now no one would know coz you would still be you ........... umm that makes sense to me hope it does to you as well


----------



## penguin

Inhibited said:


> lol i could be you right now no one would know coz you would still be you ........... umm that makes sense to me hope it does to you as well



It makes my head hurt


----------



## OneWickedAngel

I the you that you would be, were you not you, but you were me.


----------



## PamelaLois

My house got sprayed by a skunk


----------



## KittyKitten

When did basketball shorts become so freakin' long?


----------



## OneWickedAngel

My goodness, now there's a mountain I would not mind climbing!


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

The odds are against you, you're lucky if you break even, and don't count on anyone doing you any favors.


----------



## rellis10

Start the tuk-tuk


----------



## TheNowhereMan

Honestly over herd this at work:
"How could you not own a Lightsaber, and by Lightsaber I mean dildo."


----------



## KittyKitten

Why is this nasal voiced screecher so popular?


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Could be, who knows...?


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

If only I could Force Choke someone through sheer will...damn the limitations of being in a galaxy far, far away from that other one long, long ago.


----------



## snuggletiger

why do exes suddenly "miss me"? is there a sign above me that says HELLOOOO SUCKER that I am not aware of?


----------



## WVMountainrear

snuggletiger said:


> why do exes suddenly "miss me"? is there a sign above me that says HELLOOOO SUCKER that I am not aware of?



I really do think we have similar love lives...I always have this problem. They miss me...they were wrong...they still care...they think of me all the time...blah, blah, blah. I have the same feelings about it you do. Although, I have to say it gives me some satisfaction to know that they may miss the great thing that they ruined. After all, I told them they'd come back...so far, I've never been wrong about that.


----------



## Dmitra

I wore my blue sweater.


----------



## mossystate

WassoniceMoniquewhywhywhy.


----------



## Zandoz

Lasagna for dinner.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

THAT was so so stupid!


----------



## rellis10

Hold my hand harder, ease my mind, roll down the smoke screen and open the sky.


----------



## SSBBW Katerina

Damn, that sh!t irritates the piss out of me!


----------



## snuggletiger

lovelylady78 said:


> I really do think we have similar love lives...I always have this problem. They miss me...they were wrong...they still care...they think of me all the time...blah, blah, blah. I have the same feelings about it you do. Although, I have to say it gives me some satisfaction to know that they may miss the great thing that they ruined. After all, I told them they'd come back...so far, I've never been wrong about that.



And all I can think of is "they got some sort of angle". And I am more interested in the pitch rather then the person. Maybe if I had joke writers I would be more interested in the person rather then their constructed pitch


----------



## KittyKitten

I felt very strange today since the full moon was out.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

....Why the hell are you threatening people over something so goddamn trivial.... Grow up, you annoying scrap of dungbeetle feces >;O


----------



## CleverBomb

Take off the paper and put it in your mouth.

-Rusty


----------



## HeavyDuty24

werewolf moon WTF.LOL


----------



## penguin

Leg cramps are most unwelcome when masturbating.


----------



## The Orange Mage

Let's getting started!


----------



## penguin

Callipygian: having shapely buttocks.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

....damn You, Spongebob Tv! >;o


----------



## Mathias

Wow, I seriously didn't need to know that. :blink:


----------



## CastingPearls

Now there are only half of us.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

If a lesbian cockblocks another lesbian, would it then be considered a beaver dam?


----------



## penguin

It's your loss. I know I'm worth it.


----------



## The Orange Mage

My experiments tend to confirm the worst.


----------



## mossystate

Your wife is so lucky.


----------



## KittyKitten

Katy Perry looks like Snow White


----------



## Linda

Your mistress is your truck. lol


----------



## rellis10

SUN! I think the first day of spring has arrived :happy:


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

happyface83 said:


> Katy Perry looks like Snow White



If Snow White had longer hair and sang autotuned songs about hot, kinky sex with short guys while pining for her Prince, and how she kissed the wicked queen and liked it, then yeah, I guess.


----------



## snuggletiger

Can't seem to warm up today.


----------



## luscious_lulu

I am ready to go home.


----------



## WVMountainrear

I just don't like pears.

(And by this I mean the fruit.)


----------



## Dmitra

It's intoxicating to imagine forgetting and being free.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

I had no idea that the weight of individual 'rep' increases asymptotically as the rep point # approaches the star award.


----------



## luscious_lulu

My patience is waining.


----------



## littlefairywren

Omgosh, it feels like a true autumn morning! :happy:


----------



## luscious_lulu

I need some me time.


----------



## penguin

It was worth it.


----------



## rg770Ibanez

Infinity Within The Infinite


----------



## Aust99

two more days........ two more.


----------



## luscious_lulu

I am totally disengaged @ work


----------



## Dmitra

The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step away from the comfy bed.


----------



## CastingPearls

Maybe all those people you're always crushing on aren't interested in you because you can't think of anyone but yourself. (how happy he'd be with YOU, if only he'd notice YOU, no one understands him but YOU, if only she had ESP so she'd know telepathically YOU want to go out with her, if only she didn't live a trillion miles away from YOU, if only she understood how deep YOU are) Cry me fucking river.






More than one sentence.
Sue me.


----------



## Linda

I know I slept all day but I could actually use some more.


----------



## penguin

I have a very sudden, very strong urge to make fudge.


----------



## Linda

Sometimes all it takes it that one phone call...


----------



## OneWickedAngel

penguin said:


> I have a very sudden, very strong urge to make fudge.



DOOOO IIIIIT (and take pics)!
(unless that's code for use the bathroom; then you can keep that all to yourself - lol)


----------



## penguin

OneWickedAngel said:


> DOOOO IIIIIT (and take pics)!
> (unless that's code for use the bathroom; then you can keep that all to yourself - lol)



I _have _to clean up first. *sigh*

Hah, and no, it's not code for anything. I make a kickass fudge


----------



## MisticalMisty

Desperately seeking a mortgage...... home ownership is my dreeeaaaammmm


----------



## littlefairywren

There is a stray chicken in the garden lol.


----------



## penguin

The music on this cheerleader game my daughter is trying to play is far too perky for me.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Every nice girl wants a badboy, every good-guy wants a bitch, no wonder the divorce rate is so high.


----------



## 1love_emily

HE BLEW ME A KISS GOODNIGHT. My ovaries have exploded with pure joy.


----------



## MaxArden

I'm not sure what's more disturbing, how bad the movie Berserk is, or watching 62 year old Joan Crawford trying to come off as a sex kitten.


----------



## Linda

I got the fever...the ring fever.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Ohsnap, son, you just don' got schooooooooooled!


----------



## CleverBomb

more cowbell!


----------



## penguin

Bumble B. Rumble, Imma gonna git you this time.


----------



## The Orange Mage

This glass of water gonna spill.


----------



## Aust99

I'm going to make some toast..... yum vegemite!!


----------



## luscious_lulu

I am disappointed.


----------



## penguin

luscious_lulu said:


> I am disappointed.



Me too. I can't get past the bloody bumble bee.


----------



## rellis10

He's a god, he's a man, he's a ghost, he's a guuuru


----------



## WVMountainrear

I'm being lazy this morning just hanging out on the internet, so I decided to bump a bunch of lagging threads.


----------



## UnknownSpirit01

If you want to be awesome, do everything with your shirt off.


----------



## penguin

UnknownSpirit01 said:


> If you want to be awesome, do everything with your shirt off.



Except play pool if you're well endowed. Pool cues don't move smoothly against bare boobs, in my experience. Though your opponent is unlikely to complain.


----------



## Mishty

There are lots of fun things one can do with big endowments on a pool table.


----------



## MaxArden

Belief is not truth, beliefs change.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Just go away bitch.


----------



## Mathias

I stayed sharp, Momma knew how to razor blade.


----------



## Anjula

Perhaps they are not demons...perhaps it is only a lack of angels.


----------



## CastingPearls

Great minds Wiki alike.


----------



## penguin

I didn't order this dose of baby fever!


----------



## Mathias

Aww, I missed out on all the fun. :doh:


----------



## Mishty

Just be a normal person, okay?


----------



## danielson123

Nine doors is too many for upstairs...


----------



## rellis10

Respect The Pie!


----------



## KHayes666

Don't disturb the dust, we like it right where it is.


----------



## Dmitra

Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!


----------



## The Orange Mage

This queen size bed lacks a queen.


----------



## WVMountainrear

The Orange Mage said:


> This queen size bed lacks a queen.



That is a sad state of affairs, Mage.


----------



## rellis10

People are strange, when you're a stranger


----------



## The Orange Mage

lovelylady78 said:


> That is a sad state of affairs, Mage.



I know! It takes up a third of my little room easily, and it's been suggested that I switch it out for a smaller one, but I tell em, "Have you seen the girls I bring home? I'd rather be able to cuddle (among other things) without fear of falling off the bed! "

To keep this post on topic: "It's bedtime for Hitler and Germany!"


----------



## WVMountainrear

The Orange Mage said:


> I know! It takes up a third of my little room easily, and it's been suggested that I switch it out for a smaller one, but I tell em, "Have you seen the girls I bring home? I'd rather be able to cuddle (among other things) without fear of falling off the bed! "



Exactly. I have a twin bed that I sleep in when I visit my parents, and I always feel like it's so small (in comparison to my queen bed)...and that's when I'm alone. With another person, it would definitely feel super small. Big girls need big beds...good man, Mage.


----------



## paintsplotch

The Orange Mage said:


> I know! It takes up a third of my little room easily, and it's been suggested that I switch it out for a smaller one, but I tell em, "Have you seen the girls I bring home? I'd rather be able to cuddle (among other things) without fear of falling off the bed! "
> 
> To keep this post on topic: "It's bedtime for Hitler and Germany!"



me loveth you for this!!!:wubu:


----------



## mossystate

Ummmm, I recognize your bash uniform.


----------



## TraciJo67

mossystate said:


> Ummmm, I recognize your bash uniform.


 
How much does that job pay, Mossything? (The interviewing cockblockers gig )


----------



## mossystate

TraciJo67 said:


> How much does that job pay, Mossything? (The interviewing cockblockers gig )



The winner of the job...and that's how they should view themselves...will get whatever is stuck to the uncapped lipstick in the bottom of my faux, not vintage, Chanel bag I bought on Etsy.

Get in line.


----------



## penguin

I want to soak in a big bath with you.


----------



## TraciJo67

mossystate said:


> The winner of the job...and that's how they should view themselves...will get whatever is stuck to the uncapped lipstick in the bottom of my faux, not vintage, Chanel bag I bought on Etsy.
> 
> Get in line.


 
Liar.

You got it at Regretsy.


----------



## snuggletiger

Whaddaya mean Kid, K...I...D kid.


----------



## mossystate

TraciJo67 said:


> Liar.
> 
> You got it at Regretsy.



I snagged it before it ended up there. I am now looking for someone to knit a cozy for it. 

I hear you are making vulva art. Include piercings.


----------



## TraciJo67

mossystate said:


> I snagged it before it ended up there. I am now looking for someone to knit a cozy for it.
> 
> I hear you are making vulva art. Include piercings.


 
You're a little behind the times, dear. I'm making penis satchells now. 

View attachment weewilly.jpg


----------



## penguin

You could work on dildo covers next. I hear CastingPearls would love one of these.


----------



## mossystate

TraciJo67 said:


> You're a little behind the times, dear. I'm making penis satchells now.



Slap a mustache on those and make them in shades of grey and beige and you gots yourself an Etsy front page, you crafty wench.


----------



## TraciJo67

penguin said:


> You could work on dildo covers next. I hear CastingPearls would love one of these.


 
CP is a meat eater. I doubt she'd be impressed by the vegan-friendly option


----------



## paintsplotch

omg... im dying! DYYYYING! bwahahahahaha!!! giggles.... omg i have to get my crochette hooks out!


----------



## CastingPearls

TraciJo67 said:


> You're a little behind the times, dear. I'm making penis satchells now.



I know of at least one I'd like to store in one of these (for safekeeping of course--okay who am I trying to fool--to be buried or locked in a safe at the bottom of a very deep lake but I'm not bitter)



penguin said:


> You could work on dildo covers next. I hear CastingPearls would love one of these.







TraciJo67 said:


> CP is a meat eater. I doubt she'd be impressed by the vegan-friendly option



Anything Cthulhu yes, but as TraciJo has pointed out, mine would probably have to be fashioned from bacon or something. Def not vegan, no no no.


----------



## Angel

Remembering what it felt like to be the fat kid who was passed over time and time again and nearly always being almost the last one picked. I didn't have any choice or control then, but I do now.


----------



## CastingPearls

Amended list of top three things to be afraid of: Zombies, Velociraptors, Impromptu Sunroofs on Airplanes.


----------



## danielson123

'Drew Carey has us all fooled.'


----------



## luscious_lulu

My foot itches


----------



## Heyyou

Do you know what it *FEELS LIKE* *LOVING* some one thats *IN* a rush to throw you a *WAY!* (do ya know do ya know do ya know)


----------



## Dmitra

Subconsciously we're still every age we've ever been.


----------



## danielson123

....About a fire that didn't happen, about a wife that didn't exist, and a cat that didn't look happy.


----------



## Wholelottarosie78

YaY! My random sentence is....
"It's hard to kick ass in a skirt but I WILL do it"


----------



## mossystate

I see it's Miller Time!


----------



## luscious_lulu

I wonder how I can get someone to put me on ignore.


----------



## Heyyou

I love my Blue Devil and im happy i can smile as big as a big smile guy at people, places, and things.


----------



## CastingPearls

I love when creepers call creepers creepers (and for that matter when piles of shit call people white knights but that's another sentence isn't it?)


----------



## penguin

I'm going to kick my internet connection in the nads.


----------



## Heyyou

Who cares if you disagree, you are not me and this is MY BLUE DEVIL GODDAMMIT!


----------



## CastingPearls

Wishing thread updates/new posts wouldn't register if the last post was made by someone on one's ignore list.


----------



## danielson123

'At what point is a wasp ever going to have chat with a spider?'


----------



## The Orange Mage

(S)HE who so giveth The Orange Mage the rep that attains him the Golden Can shall be granted a pic request of their choice to be posted in a picture thread of their choice on this forum, as long as it's within board rules, and not too difficult to arrange.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Wax on, wax off. Don't forget to breathe, very important.


----------



## Heyyou

Improper use of Blue Devil may cause damage.


----------



## rellis10

My last Christmas smelled like Easter....


----------



## Heyyou

rellis10 said:


> My last Christmas smelled like Easter....



lol how did that happen?


----------



## snuggletiger

Heyyou said:


> lol how did that happen?



Probably had the Virginia Ham for dinner. 

Random Sentence: With your talent and a few breaks you could have been bigger then Howard Morton I am just saying.


----------



## rellis10

Random observation.....I might have been a bit heavy handed with the chilli flakes *mops brow*


----------



## KittyKitten

Why does the news media completely focus on murder stories when the victims and suspect are upper middle class/rich?


----------



## danielson123

I wonder if on the other side of the world, the ceiling fan spins in the opposite direction.


----------



## Heyyou

happyface83 said:


> Why does the news media completely focus on murder stories when the victims and suspect are upper middle class/rich?



Which channel? CNN, ill bet. "Tear me open i believe God will set you up to BLEED and NO ONE will decieve what is meant to be and BLOODY MURDER we will scream, God will set you up to TEAR ME OPEN!"


----------



## Heyyou

Ugggh, Barack Obama is on TV speaking, im glad my headphones are on and im listening to the Firehouse Subs commercial, what an actor, he should let Congress do its thing, whatever it is not try to cash in on it.


----------



## Dmitra

I said, "You fucking die. To her."


----------



## paintsplotch

tonights dinner has consisted of scrambled eggs.... iced tea.... a baked potato and Mike&Ikes.. wtf? i have an odd palette


----------



## Your Plump Princess

...Do I LOOK like a cat to you?


----------



## penguin

Goddamnit, ovaries. Shut up!


----------



## Heyyou

I am preoccupied during my dinner, because i am taking my Red Angel and making it get in a fight with my Blue Devil as soon as i finish eating it. *giggidy giggidy*


----------



## Fox

Roadhouse!


----------



## CastingPearls

Weasel is a word which makes this a sentence.


----------



## KHayes666

Fox said:


> Roadhouse!



Double Deuce?


----------



## Linda

Application is on the way!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Heyyou

Saw a roach and i didnt have my Gumoput Carb and Choke cleaner at the ready, so it lived and i didnt get petroleum distillates on the counter table.


----------



## Linda

The Anonymous Letter thread is by far the best therapy I could ever have imagined.


----------



## Heyyou

The voice in my head is the words i speak out loud.


----------



## Weirdo890

My puppies keep telling me to kill the neighbors.


----------



## CleverBomb

We do what we must, because we can -- for the good of all of us (except the ones who are dead).

-Rusty


----------



## Angel

I want to but I'm afraid.... but #@&%! I sure do deserve it.


----------



## pegz

Arrrrgghhhh... I'm feeling like a pirate today!


----------



## The Orange Mage

And now it's time to fall unconscious and hallucinate vividly for several hours!


----------



## luscious_lulu

That exPlains a lot.


----------



## snuggletiger

For God's sake don't do what I tell you to do. Do what I am telling you.


----------



## danielson123

Years ago, a problem wouldn't have been a problem.


----------



## Weirdo890

My imaginary voices have stopped talking to me and I'm lonely.


----------



## CleverBomb

It's an open act of defiance, and it's aimed directly at you. 


-Rusty


----------



## danielson123

Nothing from nowhere, I'm no one at all.


----------



## penguin

I haven't blushed so much in a long time


----------



## HeavyDuty24

i don't know,it all seems like blah to me.lol


----------



## Weirdo890

Do not kill a hobo, for that will just cause the other cannibal hoboes to hunt you down.


----------



## Linda

I'll never agree to that project again!


----------



## luscious_lulu

My belly is full.


----------



## Weirdo890

My mind is adrift in a cascade of dark and terrible fantasies.


----------



## Fuzzy

Biden, Cheney, Gore, Quayle, Bush, Mondale, Rockefeller, Ford, Agnew, Humphery, Johnson, Nixon... can't remember Truman's VP.


----------



## Heyyou

Who would have guessed that "So dark the con of man" was really a clever anagram in "The Da Vinci Code."


----------



## danielson123

Dopplegangers: How would I know which one I was?


----------



## Heyyou

Im comin home, comin home, tell the world that im comin home.


----------



## Weirdo890

I had a sandwich in my head!


----------



## penguin

When I play, Mario is known as "you fucker"


----------



## danielson123

You fight for air and struggle just to breathe.


----------



## Famouslastwords

I love how you blocked me for getting mad at you for saying you're too hot for me, hello captain overreaction. (I know he'll never see this as he's not on this site.)


----------



## Heyyou

"Africa" by TOTO is onnn! YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!


----------



## CleverBomb

There's laughter, and glass, and perfume and flags, and kisses and cranes and roses and vaccine. 

-Rusty


----------



## Fuzzy

You are in a maze of twisty passages, all alike.


----------



## Heyyou

To the beat yall, and scooby snacks.


----------



## Linda

I hate sweating.


----------



## danielson123

I'll tell you a little secret about zip codes: They're meaningless.


----------



## KHayes666

He went up to the clerk and said: "Heyaaaa....do you have any.....grapes?"

AND THEN HE WADDLED AWAYYYYYYYYYYYY

BEFORE THE GUY COULD ANSWER HE WADDLED AWAYYYY

LEFT HIM STANDING THERE AS HE WADDLED AWAYYYYYY

TOTALLY FLABBERGASTED AS HE WADDLED AWAYAYYYYYYY


----------



## Linda

Forgiveness does not mean I have amnesia. I will forgive but I will never forget.


----------



## danielson123

Your silence says so much more than if you talked.


----------



## CastingPearls

You may have a heart of gold but so does a hard boiled egg.


----------



## 1love_emily

Love is all you need.


----------



## pegz

I want it ALL!


----------



## CastingPearls

And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?


----------



## CleverBomb

Dude! I can go anywhere -- I'm on a motorscooter!

-Rusty


----------



## 1love_emily

I found a song about vegetables that look like male genitalia. 

I think that's a win.


----------



## Lamia

this cat scratch better not give me a fever


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

After discussing child illnesses with a colleague today, I was reminded of the time when #1 son barfed up a pile consisting of pizza and Skittles; the first thought that came to mind was "this must be what Care Bear semen looks like". :blush:


----------



## Lamia

Seriously? Your home is being attacked by bandits and you and your daughters saunter by, get on your horses and ride off? The bandits ignore you? :doh:


----------



## penguin

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> After discussing child illnesses with a colleague today, I was reminded of the time when #1 son barfed up a pile consisting of pizza and Skittles; the first thought that came to mind was "this must be what Care Bear semen looks like". :blush:



oh god...cannot unsee.


----------



## Weirdo890

Daddy Loves Froggy! Does Froggy Love Daddy?


----------



## danielson123

Early to bed, late to rise makes a man sluggish for the rest of the day.


----------



## Linda

I would like to breath through my nose in the near future again.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

I swear, dude, if your ignorant rhetoric were a disease it'd be Derpes Simplex IV. :doh:


----------



## CastingPearls

Bunch together a group of people deliberately chosen for strong religious feelings, and you have a practical guarantee of dark morbidities expressed in crime, perversion, and insanity. 
~ H. P. Lovecraft


----------



## penguin

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> I swear, dude, if your ignorant rhetoric were a disease it'd be Derpes Simplex IV. :doh:



I'd rep you for that if I could 

*

Children should eat cake inside a vacuum.


----------



## WVMountainrear

It's all gone cold.


----------



## penguin

...and now I have a hairy chest.


----------



## pegz

I REALLY do wish I could visit Alaska.....


----------



## Nutella

Karma's a bitch baby... 


... as you were


----------



## CleverBomb

pegz said:


> I want it ALL!


I don't want the world, I just want your half. 

-Rusty


----------



## pegz

CleverBomb said:


> I don't want the world, I just want your half.
> 
> -Rusty



I do want the world.... your half and mine. 
Is that like what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine. LOL


----------



## Heyyou

I want to become a flight traffic controller so i can abuse my title, get maid more than non-government peons, and go to sleep on the job.

$160,000 salary a year on average. Sign me up.


----------



## mossystate

Still upset you were not allowed?


----------



## KHayes666

Please, don't disturb the dust. We like it right where it is


----------



## Heyyou

La la la la la! La la la la la! La la la la la, la la la -laaaa la la.- Dooo-bee-booo-beee-oooo. *whistles*


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Oh, gawdzilla, say it isn't so!


----------



## danielson123

There ain't no doubt about it, baby.


----------



## CastingPearls

And still I see your philosophy falling through my tainted mind.


----------



## Mishty

Thighs are the secret sexual swords of satisfying women.


----------



## penguin

I feel girly when I have painted nails


----------



## mossystate

It's Time to Travel into the kitchen to make the Stue.


----------



## bellastarr

Bananas are tasty when frozen!!


----------



## Paw Paw

I wish this dog would shut his yap.

Peace,
2P.


----------



## 1love_emily

I want to go run barefoot in the rain with him.


----------



## Heyyou

I think the people on the other end of this phone fell asleep on their job, i wonder how much they get paid for doing that.


----------



## Heyyou

Why are superconductors referred as macroscopic quantum phenomena?


----------



## MaxArden

I'm a Pepper


----------



## Dmitra

He was too handsome, like one of the men she'd seen briefly on that crime show; the dead one, posed on the floor like a mannequin fallen, eyes fixed and staring questioningly into the camera.


----------



## mossystate

I wanna feed you some fresh vegetables.


----------



## J34

Movie Announcer: Rob Schneider is a wall street executive, with everything going for him. Only problem is, he's about to become... a carrot! It's twenty four "carrot" comedy! Rob Schneider is, A Carrot! Rated PG-13.


----------



## CastingPearls

Look at him there with his leathery leathery whip; it's made of magic and with a little flick yeah yeah the cow is back!


----------



## Heyyou

No, these are MY drugs and YOU cant have them if I cant!!!


----------



## 1love_emily

I'm really freaking hungry.


----------



## CleverBomb

Maybe I've forgotten the name and the address of everyone I've ever known -- it's nothing I regret. 

-Rusty


----------



## rg770Ibanez

I miss you.


----------



## danielson123

I need pizza.


----------



## The Orange Mage

Some questions have no answers.


----------



## penguin

Who you gonna call?


----------



## Aust99

Why did I agree to this???


----------



## pegz

What was I thinking........:doh:


----------



## Heyyou

I am certifiable.


----------



## Fox

No stems or seeds that you don't need,
Acapulco Gold is bad-ass weed!


----------



## rellis10

Dogs Don't Lie!


----------



## Dmitra

I fell asleep with iTunes running and dreamed a grandmotherly woman I know (and I) was rocking out to the Dead Kennedy's Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables album.


----------



## penguin

Really, brain? WTF. Not cool. I could have slept more.


----------



## luvbigfellas

Robot roll call: CamBot, Gypsy, Tom Servo, Croooooooooooow....


----------



## 1love_emily

I'm just like her... only prettier.


----------



## Fuzzy

I buy black electrical tape in bundles of five, but I can never find one yet I've never actually finished a roll.


----------



## danielson123

He was dressed like he was teaching high school geometry.


----------



## KHayes666

ur faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. fatty fat fatty...yet fattttttttt. fat fat fatttttttt ur fattttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt


----------



## littlefairywren

Even if you got hit with a maturity bat, your ugliness would never change. (The ugliness in your heart, that is).


----------



## Mishty

I'm gonna get a spanking, or a lashing....maybe a beating.


----------



## CastingPearls

Yes, the first thing I'll do once teleportation of something more than atoms occurs is steal your cake, exactly.


----------



## CastingPearls

Mishty said:


> I'm gonna get a spanking, or a lashing....maybe a beating.


You always have all the fun.


----------



## littlefairywren

CastingPearls said:


> Yes, the first thing I'll do once teleportation of something more than atoms occurs is steal your cake, exactly.



You could always borrow my maturity bat.


----------



## WVMountainrear

littlefairywren said:


> You could always borrow my maturity bat.



I don't know about Lainey, but I'd rather have the cake.


----------



## penguin

And now I'm incredibly horny.


----------



## Mishty

Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids.


----------



## Linda

Murphy (from Murphy's law references) is a punk ass.


----------



## penguin

It's snuggle o'clock.


----------



## The Orange Mage

From a conversation just now on the phone with my mom:

Mom: Alright, I'm going to see our accountant now.
_[note: accountant's office is literally 500 feet down the road]_
Me: Are you gonna walk or drive there?
Mom: Drive, because it's windy and if I walk my hair I spent an hour doing will get messed up. 
Me: Oh, to be a man...to have a penis. 
Mom: That's it's own set of issues, though. 
Me: It's really a lot like owning a gun. :happy:

---

Also, while typing the above, I kept misspelling accountant as "accountaint." Just saying...:doh:


----------



## rellis10

Please allow me to be your anti-depressant.


----------



## danielson123

This post is brought to you by Charleston Chew.


----------



## CastingPearls

DEAR LORD, PUT YOUR ARMS AROUND MY SHOULDER & YOUR HAND OVER MY MOUTH please Lord, please before I say something I'm gonna regret.


----------



## mossystate

Monique, don't go near that thread. Hatred fueled by a little help is way too breathtaking to touch.

OK, two sentences.


----------



## KHayes666

First they came for the communists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me.


----------



## Linda

What do you mean by that ?


----------



## littlefairywren

Poodles = yapping menace at 6am


----------



## Linda

What am I forgetting?


----------



## Mishty

I just want to be beautiful for you, and make it realer than real.


----------



## danielson123

Give! Give! Give him a set-a-give!


----------



## TwilightStarr

I loathe stormy weather and I am already super nervous about the storms headed this way. Tornado warnings make me want cry


----------



## Heyyou

Cant sleep, oh look there is a cat, its a nice night tonight, bzzt says the mosquito, three more hours, hmm.


----------



## pegz

What was I thinking....staying up so late.....arrrrrghhhh


----------



## snuggletiger

Hey you supernatural MOFO Shine this *rubs temples*


----------



## KittyKitten

I swear the Black Eyed Peas song, "Meet Me Halfway" sounds totally 80s!


----------



## Robbie_Rob

I don't think it's so much....inspiration i need, just a giant kick up the ass and to be told to get on with it!


----------



## KHayes666

Ripped...to Left...by Millar.....back Back Back Back....gone!!!


----------



## snuggletiger

Lots of hot spots and you'll see all those big shots.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

There is no tear more stinging, no shoulder more bowed, no loss more painful, no opportunity more denied, no accusation more unjustly laid and no right more violated than that suffered by the middle-class Caucasian male. Welcome to the Dickensian underbelly of entitlement society, my pale-faced friend: You've earned it. :bow:


----------



## Heyyou

The sexy ones have the issues.


----------



## Heyyou

Thumb to forefinger, click on labia, repeat, smooth hard motions.


----------



## CastingPearls

Spooky Oats IS the shit.


----------



## CastingPearls

Girl, you are your own three-ring circus.


----------



## littlefairywren

I know exactly what I would tell myself if I asked for my own advice, and it is really good advice. It sucks that I suck at taking my own advice.

Oh, two sentences. Bite me.


----------



## Heyyou

Yesterday was about the first day i went through the whole day without hearing some sort of dumb, juvenile, teenageish reference to "4-20" in regards to "smoking weed" and i am very glad that this was so, yesterday and today are very awesome days.


----------



## CleverBomb

I'm not sure but I think I need to Scotch-Guard my crotch and backside. 

-Rusty
(Context: was forced to try out my new, inexpensive rain suit while riding my motorcycle.)


----------



## Angel

CleverBomb said:


> I'm not sure but I think I need to Scotch-Guard my crotch and backside.



LOL 



I really should have left all that Easter candy in the car.


----------



## Mishty

4D Baby scan photos creep me the fuck out, true story.


----------



## danielson123

When you open a can of pop, it starts making noise. It never shuts up until you're forced to finish it off. That's why I like pop. It WANTS me to drink it, so badly that it won't quit bothering me until I do.


----------



## rellis10

How do aardvarks nom cucumbers?


----------



## penguin

danielson123 said:


> When you open a can of pop, it starts making noise.



I clearly haven't had enough sleep, as I read that as poop. WHO THE HELL HAS A CAN OF POOP AND WHY WOULD IT MAKE NOISE??


----------



## danielson123

penguin said:


> I clearly haven't had enough sleep, as I read that as poop. WHO THE HELL HAS A CAN OF POOP AND WHY WOULD IT MAKE NOISE??



Another question: If you had a can of poop, why on Earth would you want to open it???


----------



## penguin

danielson123 said:


> Another question: If you had a can of poop, why on Earth would you want to open it???



And then why would you want to drink it?!


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

penguin said:


> And then why would you want to drink it?!



Madison Avenue tells me that if Gisele Bündchen was in a commercial drinking a can of poop while oiled up and wearing a bikini, there'd be a horde of horny guys lined up down the block from the 7-11 going, DO YOU HAVE ONE WITH DOUBLE POOP! GIVE ME THAT AND DON'T SKIMP ON THE CORN!


----------



## penguin

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> Madison Avenue tells me that if Gisele Bündchen was in a commercial drinking a can of poop while oiled up and wearing a bikini, there'd be a horde of horny guys lined up down the block from the 7-11 going, DO YOU HAVE ONE WITH DOUBLE POOP! GIVE ME THAT AND DON'T SKIMP ON THE CORN!



From The Gruen Transfer, an Aussie show about advertising, where they get two ad companies to pitch ads for various (usually ridiculous) things. One Pitch was for selling...well, just watch .


----------



## Heyyou

I like-a to do-a the chacha like a sissy girl.


----------



## CastingPearls

You deserve an award for the role that you play.


----------



## 1love_emily

Muenster cheese is my favorite cheese.


----------



## Heyyou

With a thousand eyes and a big disguise, hit them right between the eyes, hit them right between the eyes.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

He thrusts his fists against the posts, and still insists he sees the ghosts.


----------



## Weirdo890

I would use my robot hand for good!!!


----------



## CleverBomb

WELCOME
to 
The Spot Marked By The X.
Population: 
YOU. 

-Rusty


----------



## penguin

Sebastians erect member was so big I mistook it for some sort of monument in the centre of a town. I almost started directing traffic around it.


----------



## Weirdo890

God damn these electric sex pants!


----------



## Lamia

Well I can't go to bed because of the bed sharks.


----------



## rellis10

*nibbles on bamboo*


----------



## WVMountainrear

It's amazing what goes through your head when you're idling in a line of stopped traffic.


----------



## danielson123

I didn't do anything. I'm still here. I'm still the same person.


----------



## littlefairywren

Sooner or later, that behviour was going to bite you in the ass...and it did.


----------



## biggirlsrock

Fucking Flyers are KILLING me!!! :doh:


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I'm sooooo ready for my next life..


----------



## rellis10

Is the neck a limb?


----------



## Heyyou

We have a situation, Steven, and it is what it is.


----------



## rellis10

"I don't believe ants have nipples"


----------



## danielson123

rellis10 said:


> "I don't believe ants have nipples"



I would rep you if I could!

"Every month is March Madness when Archibald Peck is around!"


----------



## CastingPearls

Ever look at somebody and think, 'Wow. You could really use a shock collar.'


----------



## pegz

CastingPearls said:


> Ever look at somebody and think, 'Wow. You could really use a shock collar.'



I love this!!!!


----------



## penguin

There's a gorilla on my desk.


----------



## Fuzzy

He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the holy grail in the Castle of Aaauuuggghhh...


----------



## UnknownSpirit01

If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket?


----------



## penguin

Popcorn bikinis...not something to wear in the water.


----------



## Mishty

What happens in my pants, stays in my pants.


----------



## CastingPearls

I'm sure there's a labial explanation for his behavior.


----------



## The Orange Mage

And now to enjoy the fruits of my labor, or in this case, the grilled cheese of my labor.


----------



## AuntHen

Rowsdower!


----------



## KHayes666

Out of time, so say goodbye. What is yours, now is mine....and I dream broken dreams. I make them come true. I make them for you....I make them for you.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

not bad,not bad at all...


----------



## Fuzzy

Listen! Do you smell something?


----------



## Mishty

I feel so deliciously debauched right now.


----------



## CastingPearls

You know the sushi is good when you whisper Baby, I don't know your name and we only just met but I I I think you're my soulmate. I love you....whatsyername. I love you. <Weeps tears of joy> I LOVE YOOOOOU.


----------



## penguin

Goggo mobile. G-O-G-G-O.


----------



## CastingPearls

Honeybadger don't care.


----------



## penguin

You would if I honeyed your badger.


----------



## CleverBomb

Amber Lamps: She lives in the hood and doesn't afraid of anything. 

-Rusty


----------



## Mathias

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?


----------



## CastingPearls

Which is the appropriate severed animal head to say 'congratulations on getting engaged, I'm totally over you.' ?


----------



## mossystate

You are the ssneakiest little tossed ssnake.


----------



## snuggletiger

Where's the telethon to enrich the middle class folk who have retirement balances and homes? where's our graft?


----------



## penguin

Oh my, I think I might just swoon.


----------



## KHayes666

While we're here don't touch the Lizard.


----------



## penguin

Hyde Park is the place where your argument is invalid unless you abuse the bold and italics tags.


----------



## snuggletiger

How come that F***ing loser gets all the dumb luck. Nobody should be entitled to that much dumb luck.


----------



## rellis10

"Smell her through my eyes...."


----------



## herin

Ahh dangit, not again!


----------



## pegz

You've got to be kidding me?


----------



## danielson123

What am I supposed to do?


----------



## Weirdo890

Why are the hamsters telling me to kill the neighbors?


----------



## CastingPearls

Martyrs, my friend, have to choose between being forgotten, mocked or used. As for being understood: never. ~ Albert Camus


----------



## one2one

You can roll your eyes all you want, but that is one helluva cute penguin.


----------



## penguin

one2one said:


> You can roll your eyes all you want, but that is one helluva cute penguin.



Aww gosh. Thanks :blush:


----------



## rellis10

"Isn't it hard making it look so easy?"


----------



## swamptoad

have you ever been absolutely quiet and absolutely still?


----------



## mossystate

Have you convinced yourself yet?


----------



## penguin

Why do batteries run out at THE most inconvenient time?


----------



## 1love_emily

Why can't I sleep like a normal human being?


----------



## 1love_emily

penguin said:


> Why do batteries run out at THE most inconvenient time?



Your new avatar photo is GORGEOUS.


----------



## pegz

I say... I say... Son!


----------



## penguin

1love_emily said:


> Your new avatar photo is GORGEOUS.



thank you


----------



## danielson123

1love_emily said:


> Why can't I sleep like a normal human being?



8 AM bedtime this morning. Finals week SUCKS.


----------



## CastingPearls

Nice girl, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice. - Foghorn Leghorn


----------



## mossystate

Lawrence O'Donnell , I would like you to have my babies. BAM!


----------



## The Orange Mage

Thank you for staying in your little box, and not venturing elsewhere in my mind when I'm not looking.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

im just not really sure,sometimes old habits die hard.>.> but do i have hope? yes.lol


----------



## Heyyou

The cheese is old and moldy.


----------



## CastingPearls

And theyll be quick to point out our shortcomings
And how the experts all have had their doubts

Aint it like most people? Im no different
We love to talk on things we dont know about


----------



## penguin

Heyyou said:


> The cheese is old and moldy.



Where is the bathroom?


----------



## Heyyou

penguin said:


> Where is the bathroom?



You just made my day! _Donde esta el sanitario_ 

TY soo much Penguin! I will be your Encino Man! in FL


----------



## penguin

Heyyou said:


> You just made my day! _Donde esta el sanitario_
> 
> TY soo much Penguin! I will be your Encino Man! in FL



It's one of my favourite movies  No weeeezing the juuuice.


----------



## CleverBomb

My hovercraft is full of eels.

-Rusty


----------



## Heyyou

penguin said:


> It's one of my favourite movies  No weeeezing the juuuice.



"Weasel! Weasel! Weasel! Weasel!"


----------



## herin

Skidleedoo! Yeah, we say that in my house. Don't judge me.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

ugh that felt SO unfinished!!!:doh:


----------



## pegz

That dog, I say that dog is lower than a snake full of buckshot ~ Foghorn Leghorn


----------



## rellis10

The boobs....they're everywhereeeeee!


----------



## biggirlsrock

Fuck the fuckin' fuckers!!!


----------



## Heyyou

_Cor_porate accounts payable, Nina speaking! _Just_ a moment!


----------



## CastingPearls

If 'Guns don't kill people, people kill people', does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toasts toast?


----------



## Heyyou

If guns kill people, then matches start fires.


----------



## biggirlsrock

Heyyou said:


> then matches start fires.



Shit fire, save matches. Fuck a duck, see what hatches.


----------



## Heyyou

Show me the money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

Goddammit, I'd piss on a spark plug if I thought it'd do any good!


----------



## AuntHen

Show me, don't tell me.


----------



## danielson123

'If it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.'


----------



## CastingPearls

&#8206;'Drive into the sea of thought, and find there pearls beyond the price'


----------



## WVMountainrear

I can't believe you fucking said that to me.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

i knew you weren't going to do it.


----------



## penguin

That was a nice way to start my day


----------



## HeavyDuty24

omg that is total bullshit and you know it!


----------



## swamptoad

how come I never fucking cuss?


----------



## herin

What the hell? I mean seriously, what the hell man?


----------



## rg770Ibanez

No one cares about how desirable you are except yourself.
GET OVER YOURSELF


----------



## swamptoad

care-a-lot is a place where we can go ....


----------



## Heyyou

Bring out the Hellman's, and bring out the best.


----------



## swamptoad

...............Hi.


----------



## KHayes666

John Roseboro to Sandy Koufax "What are we gonna do?"

Sandy's response "I'm gonna fuckin blow it by them all day"


----------



## HottiMegan

Farts are really funny on my new couch.


----------



## mossystate

Heidi, no...just...no...ffs....no.


----------



## pegz

mmm that was a bigass ribeye


----------



## rellis10

Polished brass manboy


----------



## rellis10

Sorry for the double post but I had to post this...

It's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean. But it takes a long f'n time to get to England in a rowing boat.


----------



## Heyyou

Nymphs, Leo, clearly, Nymphs. - "Charmed" last week on TNT


----------



## danielson123

There's a smell in the air tonight! There's a smell in the air, and it's sweet. It's sweet! And what is that smell? What is that smell? It's victory!!


----------



## mossystate

A room that looks like 4 last chance garage sales exploded.


----------



## KHayes666

What is the malted liquor?

BEER!

What gets you drunker quicker?

BEER!

What comes in bottles or in cans?

BEER!

Can't get enough of it

BEER!

How we really love it

BEER!

Makes me think I'm a man

BEER!

I can kiss and hug it

BEER!

But I'd rather chug it

BEER!

Fill my belly up to here

BEER!

I could not refuse a

BEER!

I could really use a 

BEER!

Beer, beer, beer!


----------



## 1love_emily

Hi! My name is Emily. I'm 18 years old and I am feeling lonely.


----------



## danielson123

Fudge. Stripe. Cookies.


----------



## rellis10

"What fresh hell is this...?"


----------



## pegz

~game over man....game over~


----------



## KHayes666

1love_emily said:


> Hi! My name is Emily. I'm 18 years old and I am feeling lonely.



Hi my name is......my name is....my name is...CHICKA CHICKA...Slim Shady


----------



## CleverBomb

So now, less than ten years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Fullerton and look East, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost SEE the low-water mark &#8211; that place where the incoming tsunami exposed the reef before sweeping in again.

-Rusty


----------



## Mathias

So at night before I sleep I look in the mirror, the mirror grows lips and it whispers "Come nearer..."


----------



## mossystate

*Perhaps Tracijo Could Clean Out Her Box.*


----------



## The Orange Mage

I thought they were self-cleaning...:huh:


----------



## danielson123

I smell like smoke 'cause I've been through fire.


----------



## pegz

You really screw them in???? wow... who knew


----------



## Dmitra

The enemy of my enemy is my friend but with friends like that who needs enemies?


----------



## KHayes666

I will have you on a boat, I will have you with a goat. On a boat, with a goat, I don't care.


----------



## HottiMegan

mmm tejava...


----------



## CastingPearls

In the 2010 short film Ollie Klublershturf vs. the Nazis, a precocious young boy builds a flatulent time machine.


----------



## J34

What do you mean Mexico has an air force? Since when????


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

The Mom's Basement is strong in this one...


----------



## penguin

Fuck this, I'm making fudge.


----------



## spiritangel

there is not enough chocolate in the world


----------



## penguin

Shame and guilt are not effective ways to help.


----------



## The Orange Mage

Sleep is for the me


----------



## CleverBomb

Conversion, software Version 7.0

Preparing installation files...

-Rusty


----------



## AmazingAmy

I read somewhere that their periods attract bears. Bears can smell the menstruation.


----------



## rellis10

AmazingAmy said:


> I read somewhere that their periods attract bears. Bears can smell the menstruation.



Well that's just great! You hear there Ed? Bears!


----------



## The Orange Mage

danielson123 said:


> Fudge. Stripe. Cookies.



Wow, me too.

Me and my older brother have lost a combined 3 teeth on these as youngsters!


----------



## danielson123

There's nothing worse than getting your scrapbook ripped up.


----------



## CastingPearls

Hate haikus
Not as much as pain
Dumb doctor


----------



## Mathias

That's enough stories about assassins for one night.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

I cannot believe what screwed up cartoons my dad watched with me as a child... however, this show is freakin' AMAZING.


----------



## Mishty

I love warm water, ever so much.


----------



## lalatx

Funnel, Tequila, Limes, Salt.... Olay.


----------



## Fuzzy

A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early.


----------



## CastingPearls

Thanks stupid! Thanks for the mouse! See ya later!


----------



## penguin

Spank my ass and call me Shirley.


----------



## mossystate

I look great in capes.


----------



## CastingPearls

I'm 99% sure Jim Henson invented fisting.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

what the hell else do you people want?!?!?! DAMN! were doing all we can!


----------



## mossystate

Was alcohol and no sleep involved?


----------



## spiritangel

I have the best niece


----------



## CastingPearls

You don't know how much I miss you.


----------



## MaxArden

The mess keeps moving


----------



## penguin

Some things are just meant to be.


----------



## CleverBomb

Swim away, fugu fish! Swim away!

-Rusty


----------



## spiritangel

I will not respond to emotional blackmail when you did the wrong thing and I will not accept blame or have you tell me my sister said something wrong when she was well within her rights after what you said and how you acted!!


----------



## The Orange Mage

I may not have had the best job, the best plans, the best ambition, hell, I'm a boring son of a bitch, too. But my love for you was the best I had to give; the other things not being enough I could accept, but my love not being good enough is what hurts.


----------



## Angel

Evasiveness, avoidance, and silence, I hear you loud and clearly.


----------



## littlefairywren

If I could, I would shave off your eyebrows while you slept and glue them to your lips.


----------



## Fuzzy

You don't remember because I erased your smegging memory!


----------



## penguin

Fuzzy said:


> You don't remember because I erased your smegging memory!



What'd you do that for?

(Red Dwarf is awesome)


----------



## Fuzzy

I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts. There they are, standing in a row.


----------



## AmazingAmy

Left my Pepsi at work.


----------



## rellis10

How do you cover a mongoose in chocolate?


----------



## CastingPearls

Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a
change. ~ Malcolm X


----------



## spiritangel

sleep I miss you


----------



## S13Drifter

Look ma no hands!


----------



## rellis10

Dogs are forever in the push-up position


----------



## mossystate

It was pretty obvious who it is.


----------



## lalatx

They gave us stubby pickles...


----------



## Mathias

Dee Dee get out of my La-bor-a-tor-y!!!


----------



## Ample Pie

It will happen just as it is meant to: whether I struggle or whether I wait for it with accepting patience.


----------



## littlefairywren

Your posts are like a Mills and Boon novel...tedious and hard to stop reading, even though I know I am going to regret it once I start.


----------



## shinyapple

Opinions may be like assholes and everyone has one, but that doesn't mean you have to *BE* one while giving yours.


----------



## pegz

That's when the looking into your eyes becomes an issue...(really...wtf)


----------



## littlefairywren

A sense of humour is a wonderful thing...so are private jokes


----------



## mossystate

You get a fetish cookie.


----------



## Mathias

Did Hyde Park get axed? lol


----------



## penguin

It's nap time, nap time, boogy on down the rooooaaaad.


----------



## CastingPearls

Gentle impulsion
Shakes me, makes me lighter
Fearless on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath

You're stumbling a little
You're stumbling a little


----------



## AmazingAmy

"Figured that my biggest issue with guys is finding someone who can keep up.
Intelligence is such a must it's crazy."

...Or maybe you're a bitch? Probably that.


----------



## mossystate

Dirty smoking person with a sock puppet account.


----------



## rellis10

"I've seen you without your clothes before...never thought I'd see you naked"


----------



## CastingPearls

I'm a spoiled princess and she'd just rather take the dick then send him home, you know, like take-out except he gave her the tip.


----------



## Mishty

I'm no cheater, but I'd eat 'er.


----------



## CastingPearls

You're not supposed to measure from your asshole, asshole.


----------



## Mathias

My friends are insane!


----------



## littlefairywren

Mathias said:


> My friends are insane!



Better that, than your family!


----------



## rg770Ibanez

$550 for 78 in a 45?!
WTF


----------



## CastingPearls

I think what we have here is a failure to communicate.


----------



## KHayes666

Say it ain't soooooooooooooooo


----------



## mossystate

You're the worst identical parts of a person who went away.


----------



## Mishty

The mama looked down and spit on the ground every time my name gets mentioned.


----------



## snuggletiger

Is your name Levine? Put the coffee down.


----------



## danielson123

I just experienced a cold sweat and it wasn't from waking up in one.


----------



## AuntHen

Mishty said:


> The mama looked down and spit on the ground every time my name gets mentioned.



Papa said oy if I get that boy I'm gonna stick him in a house of detention...

hehe... I am a Paul Simon freakazoid!!


----------



## pegz

Just give it a chance...


----------



## rellis10

"My food is problematic..."


----------



## luvbigfellas

Shut up, Lord of Poo, don't make me get the Lysol! 

(I have very, very strange friends.)

You're the fuckin' underwear gnome, Jay, 'cause somehow everyone's panties end up randomly in your closet.


----------



## CastingPearls

You're perfect exactly the way you are right now. If someone doesn't see that in you, that's their problem. Don't make it yours. &#9829;


----------



## snuggletiger

Hey lady cat urine smeared on your neck doesn't count as perfume.


----------



## penguin

The dingbat's only natural enemy is the drop bear.


----------



## rellis10

"How many chops does it take to get to the center of Mr. Finnegan's chest?!"


----------



## spiritangel

I really wish I had more interesting things to say


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

Dobby never meant to kill! Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!


----------



## luvbigfellas

If you've never been to Perryville, MO or Chester, IL, thank your lucky stars.


----------



## spiritangel

I wish I missed you as much as you miss me but to be honest I truly dont miss the drama not even a little bit


----------



## CastingPearls

luvbigfellas said:


> If you've never been to Perryville, MO or Chester, IL, thank your lucky stars.


If you're ever given 24 hours to live, go to Bayonne, NJ because every day is a fucking eternity.


----------



## luvbigfellas

My response to being told someone wanted to eat me out:

"You and the entire western world lol"


----------



## Mathias

There's a miniature lion in my bathroom.


----------



## OIFMountaineer

I really wish the other guy hadn't went crazy; I could've used the help.


----------



## CastingPearls

Do you always use such affectionate terms as 'cantankerous' when a person is in distress about valid concerns or do you just save those gems for women because it's a bit harder for them to knock you on your ass?


----------



## CastingPearls

I don't think that people should be allowed to post if it's abundantly evident that their family tree doesn't even fork.


----------



## shinyapple

The saying begins, "an ounce of *prevention*", not an ounce of pretention.


----------



## Surlysomething

CastingPearls said:


> I don't think that people should be allowed to post if it's abundantly evident that their family tree doesn't even fork.


 

Half of Dims? 
OH SNAP!

*cough*


I need a vacation.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

CastingPearls said:


> I don't think that people should be allowed to post if it's abundantly evident that their family tree doesn't even fork.



In some cultures albinism and polydactyly are seen as divine marks...it's God's way of saying "dad screwed his sister".


----------



## The Orange Mage

Is there one of those awesome German words for "feeling bad for feeling bad?"


----------



## CastingPearls

The Orange Mage said:


> Is there one of those awesome German words for "feeling bad for feeling bad?"


I'm thinking Yiddish and there is a perfectly acceptable Yiddish word for every fakakta thing out there. 

This link is kinda fun:
http://www.sillymusic.com/yiddish_dictionary_definitiions.asp


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

The Orange Mage said:


> Is there one of those awesome German words for "feeling bad for feeling bad?"



Traurigdüster


----------



## penguin

Mathias said:


> There's a miniature lion in my bathroom.



I hope you have some miniature gazelles for it to hunt.


----------



## 1love_emily

I wish his body was 8 hours west and 18 minutes north, geographically. Pretty much, I want him here.


----------



## mossystate

passive agressive rep spends the same as the other type :batting:


----------



## Mishty

I just found a stash of lager, and lost my phone.


----------



## CleverBomb

penguin said:


> I hope you have some miniature gazelles for it to hunt.


it's the Itty Bitty Circle of Life!

-Rusty


----------



## pegz

Well damn... I screwed the pooch on that one!


----------



## CastingPearls

It was totally worth it and I'd do it again.


----------



## snuggletiger

Always be Closing


----------



## rellis10

snuggletiger said:


> Always be Closing



A-I-D-A. Attention, Interest, Decision, Action.


----------



## snuggletiger

Have you made your decision for Christ?


----------



## penguin

Get in my bed.


----------



## snuggletiger

Thats a kids bed


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

No amount of flowery rhetoric or carefully-planned argument will ever outweigh the ability of an anonymous fart in the crowd to completely derail the train. 

View attachment cunning_plan.jpg


----------



## rellis10

snuggletiger said:


> Have you made your decision for Christ?



It takes BRASS BALLS to sell real estate.


----------



## snuggletiger

My watch.... my watch cost more then your F**King car.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

You see this watch?...That watch costs more than your car. I made $970,000 last year, how much you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father. Fuck you, go home and play with your kids. You want to work here? CLOSE. You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cock-sucker? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit? If you don't like it, leave.


----------



## mossystate

That's all I needed to know. Done.


----------



## Dmitra

Those gentle voices I hear explain it all with a sigh.


----------



## 1love_emily

Someone save me.


----------



## rellis10

Pandas look so cute because they're devious....


----------



## CastingPearls

Take one vanity thread. Add a cup of tragedy, a dram of drama, and a ton of trash. Blend well until smooth with unsightly (or sightly to taste) lumps. Serve at body temperature to dogs who'll eat anything.


----------



## BigBodyChevy

Hmm..do I really feel like cranking up the car to go get a bottle of sour melon powerade?....i just don't know...


----------



## AuntHen

I always KILL the "...like about the previous poster" thread haha


----------



## danielson123

I am no longer a student.


----------



## spiritangel

god bless the people who invented and make pain relief


----------



## darlingzooloo

I don't want to clean this room anymore, no no no.


----------



## penguin

I think I need to buy a new mattress.


----------



## LuckyDreamer87

Why does vegan cheese always taste like stinky feet smell......


----------



## darlingzooloo

I wish I knew Irish.


----------



## WVMountainrear

I did not handle that as well as I should have, but it was a reality check I strangely wasn't prepared for.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I am going to write a story book.....


----------



## mossystate

Jesus, throw a parade and be done with it.


----------



## Mishty

My lip has been nibbled and chewed within an inch of it's life.


----------



## luvbigfellas

I have the song "Juicy" stuck in my head.


----------



## CastingPearls

You look like you apply your makeup with a shotgun and are hostile to anyone with a three digit IQ. Do NOT fuck with me.


----------



## luvbigfellas

Y'know, you customers would be a lot brighter if either you were literate or remembered that you're literate.


----------



## Mathias

Look, if I wanted to eat waffles for breakfast I would probably have actual waffles and not a cereal imitating waffles.


----------



## danielson123

I should start posting again.


----------



## Mathias

It time Snu-Snu!


----------



## CastingPearls

Even though I have you on ignore, you still make me cringe. Even invisible you're a creeper.


----------



## danielson123

I'd like to watch Young Frankenstein right now.


----------



## luvbigfellas

I wish I could remember all the ASL I learned in class and I wish I could use it more often.


----------



## CastingPearls

Do I ever cross your mind ANYTIME?


----------



## CleverBomb

The "Perfect Utopa" thread title remnded me of this:

Even in a perfect world, where everyone was equal...
...I would still own the film rights -- and be working on the sequel.

-Rusty
(really likes that line)


----------



## Heyyou

Time that you enjoy wasting, is not wasted.


----------



## penguin

It looked like a 1.5" long rubbery cum bullet.


----------



## luvbigfellas

Turn around, bright eyes.


----------



## danielson123

No regret will waste my life again.


----------



## frankman

naaah...I'm all fluffy cake and a ridiculous amount of icing. .........................WITH A RAZOR BLADE IN IT!!!!!!!


----------



## luvbigfellas

You shall be mine, oh yes, you shall.


----------



## WVMountainrear

Only eight more days... :wubu:


----------



## CastingPearls

It turns out one shouldn't skimp on nuts


----------



## ButlerGirl09

I need a soldier that ain't scared to stand up for me--Known to carry big things, if you know what I mean


----------



## rg770Ibanez

I just got a lot of publicity.


----------



## rellis10

"Do you want your soup in a bowl....or on a plate?"


----------



## snuggletiger

I'm here from downtown. I am on a mission of Mercy.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

I don't want to go so far to say said celebrity has a prodigious jaw, but I'd worry it would be like getting a blowjob from Mike Mulligan's Steam Shovel. 

Sometimes makeovers and weight loss can't fix certain 'aspects'.


----------



## CastingPearls

I am the living embodiment of a run-on sentence but damn, what a body and what a sentence.


----------



## Surlysomething

CastingPearls said:


> Do I ever cross your mind ANYTIME?


 

Yep! I kinda like you.


----------



## penguin

It's better to be appreciative of what you do have than to whine about what you don't have.


----------



## CastingPearls

It's become a joke now; My Muscular Ass. LOL


----------



## Surlysomething

You post too much.


----------



## Surlysomething

Like WAY too much.


----------



## JulieD

Everything sounds like a fortune cookie...in bed.


----------



## Mathias

This is getting crazy.


----------



## luvbigfellas

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in this padded round room and told me to sit in the corner. Corner? There were no corners. So I sat in the middle. I died there. Then they buried me. Then all these worms came up and... Worms?!? I hate worms. They make me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once....


----------



## spiritangel

I keep missing my dims milestones


----------



## 1love_emily

Won't you stay up all night on Skype with me?


----------



## Dmitra

Fuck the fucking fuckers (NSFW).


----------



## CastingPearls

Not only are you fucking insane, you are bureaucratically and exponentially stupid.


----------



## CleverBomb

luvbigfellas said:


> Turn around, bright eyes.


Spin Around, Ninjas!

-Rusty


----------



## TraciJo67

2 1/2 people in my house right now, upstairs and down, each playing dueling banjos with their loud snoring. Is it any wonder that I'm awake @ 12:48 a.m.?


----------



## danielson123

Yeah I'm just not gonna sleep again.


----------



## CastingPearls

Speaking of dueling banjos, those two make the kid from Deliverance look like he has a healthy gene-pool.


----------



## CAMellie

I hope the fucker DOES show up! I wanna see how many of us it'll take to get my sister off of him.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

ah sweet recovery!


----------



## penguin

There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.


----------



## danielson123

I really need to start writing down some of the things my Gram says when I put wrestling on TV. This shit is hilarious.


----------



## luvbigfellas

You are amazing and you bring me tears of joy.


----------



## Mathias

This is going to royally suck.


----------



## snuggletiger

Can you fake being genuine?


----------



## Mishty

I have options, damn you!


----------



## Lamia

Oh sure you're anti-gun until the graboids star dragging people underground digesting them in their slimy colons.


----------



## Mathias

You're supposed to wait THIRTY MINUTES!!


----------



## CastingPearls

Shit floats too.


----------



## Mathias

Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth shattering kaboom!


----------



## penguin

Ooo I have some lovely golden cans.


----------



## OIFMountaineer

Whoever called it 'Near Beer' was a poor judge of distance.


----------



## rellis10

"This image of him was not some mirrored reflection, it was monstrous, bathed in blood with a maniacal smile draped over the scarred wreck of its face."

Behold the cheery disposition of my writing!


----------



## CAMellie

Mmmmm...pain pills, honey roasted peanuts, and grape soda for breakfast.


----------



## rellis10

The Rapture....delivered straight to your door by Argos!


----------



## CastingPearls

Quick random conversation:

C: I think Apple is a ridiculous name to give a child.

L: Apple is cute!

C: It is annoying.

L: It's sweet. Potato on the other hand gets no respect.


----------



## Dmitra

I may have been born at night but I wasn't born last night.


----------



## ButlerGirl09

Teach me how to Dougie.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

I'm surprised "Fellating Ron Paul" isn't an activity on Facebook...


----------



## Dromond

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> I'm surprised "Fellating Ron Paul" isn't an activity on Facebook...



You're not looking hard enough.


----------



## Mishty

"There was this story, about me, and it wasn't true, but it was about jacking some person off."


----------



## mossystate

Collector who you know is only in for how they are fed.


----------



## snuggletiger

You don't like apple, how about Rutabega?


----------



## Dromond

Badger, badger, badger, badger, mushroom! Mushroom!


----------



## CastingPearls

I see the writing on the wall.


----------



## Sweetie

I'm scared I'm going to get shot by one of the gang kids who've been shooting at each other lately in my aparment complex...latest incident happened at 4 in the afternoon!


----------



## CAMellie

Sometimes I think I'm not as stupid as you think I am. Other times I think I'm even stupider.


----------



## WomanlyHips

You read about things that have happened, I read about things that will never happen.


----------



## mossystate

Somebody just took the words right out of my mouth, and they owe me...something.


----------



## rellis10

I put chilli in everything and you want MORE?!


----------



## Mishty

What the fuck do you even mean, when you say these things!?!


----------



## CastingPearls

Blinded By the Light? possible...
What a Fool Believes? maybe...

I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now can see? Just right.


----------



## danielson123

Oh, he had a fever of 120. It's OK then I suppose.


----------



## Sweetie

Run for the hills!


----------



## Mathias

The Joker- "You look like you could use a little sun. Then again, who am I to talk? AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"


----------



## CastingPearls

Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.


----------



## Mathias

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> I'm surprised "Fellating Ron Paul" isn't an activity on Facebook...



The internet is a big place...


----------



## CleverBomb

Mathias said:


> The internet is a big place...


Rule 34. Just sayin.

-Rusty


----------



## Mathias

This story is about to take an extremely dark turn...


----------



## Dromond

I can't believe she's watching THAT.


----------



## Sweetie

Stay out of the hammer lane.


----------



## rellis10

"I was a wet smurf this morning"


----------



## Sweetie

Lock her up and throw away the key.


----------



## jtimmo

It's just too damn humid/hot here.


----------



## Sweetie

La la la la I'm not listening! (with fingers in your ears)


----------



## AmazingAmy

I do _not _say chwelve, chwenty, chwig and chwilight, sister!


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

Those fat jokes must have gone over quite well with your wife when she was pregnant, Casanova.


----------



## spiritangel

I understand even less now than I did then or mayby I just thought I understood


----------



## mossystate

That old friend had a point that you should really take.


----------



## Sweetie

And then she said I knew it.


----------



## Dromond

I've made it my life long hobby to try to understand people, yet I don't understand people any better now than when I started.


----------



## Sweetie

When in doubt, do NOTHING.


----------



## Surlysomething

You're a disgusting pig-dog from hell.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

In the Land of the Band Geeks, the One-Eyed Tuba Player is King.


----------



## Lamia

"That's exactly what a butternut squash would say if they could talk."


----------



## CastingPearls

I never thought my own brother who we've taken turns trying to kill each other when we were kids would make me laugh so hard so fast on FB. Take THAT FA!!!


----------



## Sweetie

This is just unacceptable.


----------



## CastingPearls

You do know that some day the rest of the world will find out that you were secretly a princess all along too, right?  Thank you.


----------



## Sweetie

I'm as old as dirt.


----------



## Dromond

It. Just. Doesn't. Make. Sense.


----------



## Sweetie

Would you please get out of the laundry basket?


----------



## Fuzzy

All my friends are dead.


----------



## spiritangel

Craft supplies are my Kryptonite


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

Everyone loves to attach disaster-esque suffixes to climatic events (Tornadopocalypse, snowmageddon), but what about good stuff? I think an Orgasmapocalypse or a beejageddon would be a pretty damn cool way to cash in your chips.


----------



## Famouslastwords

While all the time that she was loving you, you were busy loving yourself...


----------



## Famouslastwords

It puts the syrup on the pancake or else the creeper messages it again.


----------



## Sweetie

As soon as my ring finger started itching I knew there was trouble up ahead.


----------



## CastingPearls

I don't make the rules, ma'am. I just think them up and write them down.


----------



## luvbigfellas

Hell yeah, I AM the motherfucking princess. And don't forget it.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

These are dark times, there is no denying.


----------



## spiritangel

I love IT!!!


----------



## CastingPearls

Egos like black holes, soulless, cold and without light.


----------



## CleverBomb

Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. 

-Rusty
(Quoting The Amazing Criswell from an amazingly bad movie...)


----------



## Dromond

That doesn't look so good; In fact, it's downright disturbing.


----------



## penguin

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> Everyone loves to attach disaster-esque suffixes to climatic events (Tornadopocalypse, snowmageddon), but what about good stuff? I think an Orgasmapocalypse or a beejageddon would be a pretty damn cool way to cash in your chips.



I'd sign up for that.


And no, that's not a nipple on your foot.


----------



## CAMellie

You're a douche...you're a douche...you're a douche...did I mention that you're a douche?


----------



## OIFMountaineer

Well this is a curious reaction; I think I'll enjoy it.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

I only open my mouth to change feet.


----------



## Mishty

Well this is an odd sensation.


----------



## Mathias

If you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink the water.


----------



## CastingPearls

Indifference is death.


----------



## Dromond

How can someone so intelligent be so stupid?


----------



## Mishty

Stupid is, as stupid does.


----------



## penguin

Dromond said:


> How can someone so intelligent be so stupid?



High Int, low Wis.


----------



## mossystate

Must you all insist on bathing in the same scummy drama bathwater?


----------



## AuntHen

The amount of rampant narcissism astounds me


----------



## Sweetie

Please curb your dog.


----------



## Dromond

penguin said:


> High Int, low Wis.



You got that right.


----------



## luvbigfellas

I love penguin.

Separate unrelated sentence: Yeah, it'd be safe to say I'd be thrilled to be pinned underneath your belly, sir.


----------



## penguin

Dromond said:


> You got that right.



I do remember some things from my years of gaming! 



luvbigfellas said:


> I love penguin.



Aww, you'll make me blush. I think you're pretty damn fantastic too [/QUOTE]


----------



## spiritangel

why do I put off that wich I know in the end I will enjoy


----------



## Dmitra

_The fire doesn't touch me its heat dries my hands aren't cold on her bare shoulders as I kiss him and touch his beating heart between her breasts, "All I see is you and you, sweetest." _


----------



## rellis10

It's not THAT hard to wash a saucepan properly!


----------



## danielson123

Too much junk mail, time to change my email address.


----------



## penguin

I'd like to hear your story.


----------



## CastingPearls

A stranger told me today, everything about myself and it made all the difference in the world and I'm eternally grateful.


----------



## Sweetie

And then he told me I was fat.


----------



## penguin

Holy shit, I never expected to hear from you again.


----------



## superodalisque

Quan Yin
I saw your Heaven..I saw your hell..They don't belong to Me because i saw them. I saw them in your eyes. I saw your questions behind the screen. And the question is always ''WHY''. And i ask you now ''HOW?''!


----------



## superodalisque

Look beyond what this world offers. Seek out another place beyond this earth. Be in the now. Where you are right now is what is important. Slow down. Everything is too chaotic. Lay down everything you need to do. Youre not just your bodies, you know, asserts Kuan Yin. Keep your spirit connection. Weight, chemicals of body are more influential when youre not connected with spirit. Connection with spirit can help overcome even genetic and hormonal limits.

Quan Yin


----------



## superodalisque

Quan Yin

The reason pain exists is because of some of the choices you, as humans, have made. Humans always have a great freedom to choose.


----------



## superodalisque

Quan Yin

I cant save everyone. And I can only utilize humanitys own resources, which is love and free will. I cant use any force that does not come from within humans as a request to change the war.


----------



## CAMellie

Look out she's got an egg!!!!


----------



## superodalisque

Quan Yin

Some energies are not as potent. The only way to develop a potent energy is to spend an existence on the earth. There, one can develop a compassionate nature so that when passing onto other dimensions, one can be of help. When one leaves ones earth body one will need to fully understand compassion to be helpful, effective. On earth, you are encapsulated in flesh. No soul is forced into an assignment upon the earth. Instead they go to their rightful space. When you leave here you have a lot more power. It wont be ego-based power. Rather it will be beyond ego, beyond good and evil. In fact, evil is just a label as everything is intermixed. The pendulum just appears to swing back and forth.


----------



## penguin

Seriously? :doh:


----------



## Mathias

Come on you apes, you wanna live forever?!?!?!


----------



## CleverBomb

You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! Damn you all to hell!


-Rusty


----------



## spiritangel

I want to rep you so bad right now but I cant I need to spread it around first


----------



## CastingPearls

Wonder Twin Power ACTIVATE!!!!!


----------



## spiritangel

just in case I forgot to Say It I never stopped loving you


----------



## penguin

Time can't move fast enough right now.


----------



## mossystate

I knew you needed a refill...sigh.


----------



## luscious_lulu

I've missed this place and missed the people here!


----------



## mossystate

If you do, then stop giving any of your extra love/like and attention to those not your family.


----------



## littlefairywren

The gift of love is so very precious, and you sir, are an asshat!


----------



## herin

Holy crap, why do I get all the weirdos? :doh:


----------



## luvbigfellas

All I want to do is hug you right now! :doh: I should know better.


----------



## spiritangel

I need a nap


----------



## Sweetie

Step away from the Cup Noodles.


----------



## penguin

I've had enough omphaloskepsis for one day, so I shall leave my growlery for my phrontistery.


----------



## Mishty

When a monkey nibbles on a weenis, its funny in any language.


----------



## mz_puss

If i hide under the blanket and don't move a muscle all the raptor sauruseseses will do is eat the curtains!


----------



## luvbigfellas

Literacy is important. I'm going to shove the giftcard up your ass, because you don't actually read the condition on which you get that stupid $5 giftcard. TWO, mofo, TWO. You must buy TWO. It is not negotiable, asshole.


----------



## Fuzzy

You hit my boob! Prepare to Die!


----------



## rellis10

.......

.......

......

Armbar!


----------



## Mathias

Fuzzy said:


> You hit my boob! Prepare to Die!



You punched the highlights out of her hair.

*He punched the highlights out of her hair!!*


----------



## rellis10

I'd run, but i'd just die tired....what's the point?


----------



## CastingPearls

had to show you cause like hello is hello kitty
CastingPearls: holy shit


----------



## Mishty

Aw, no one but the hippies showed for the cookout,lotsa leftover steak for meeee.


----------



## spiritangel

it all makes so much more sense now



and in case i missed it congrats cp on reaching over 10k in posts wowsers!!


----------



## penguin

I've never had so many bras on my desk in my life.


----------



## spiritangel

People keep asking me to go to the dark side because they have cookies but lainey has better cookies, I am going to lainey's side! It sunny there to


----------



## penguin

spiritangel said:


> People keep asking me to go to the dark side because they have cookies but lainey has better cookies, I am going to lainey's side! It sunny there to



Lainey's side would be the pink side. Does this mean you're going to Lainey's pink bits?

And unrelated but completely spiritangel's fault all the same:

Australians are weird because they've got gigantic heads.


----------



## CastingPearls

penguin said:


> Lainey's side would be the pink side. Does this mean you're going to Lainey's pink bits?
> 
> And unrelated but completely spiritangel's fault all the same:
> 
> Australians are weird because they've got gigantic heads.


LOL You're all Awesome Aussies. I want a drop bear and a giant spider but only if they're pink.


----------



## spiritangel

penguin said:


> Lainey's side would be the pink side. Does this mean you're going to Lainey's pink bits?
> 
> And unrelated but completely spiritangel's fault all the same:
> 
> Australians are weird because they've got gigantic heads.





Laineys pink bits taste like fairy floss and marshmallows

and her butt spews forth rainbow sprinkles but only special peoples know that soo shhh its a secret


----------



## CastingPearls

Secrets out now, sister. LMAO


----------



## Sweetie

I see him pop up in my peripheral vision.


----------



## penguin

Why yes, I am watching porn while I fold and put away the washing.


----------



## Zandoz

penguin said:


> Why yes, I am watching porn while I fold and put away the washing.



Any fluffing going on?


----------



## shinyapple

Words cannot express how much I _*DON'T*_ want to do this...but I will. Because she wants it that way.


----------



## penguin

Zandoz said:


> Any fluffing going on?



Heh, no. Most porn doesn't do much for me, but a friend gave me this so I thought I'd check it out


----------



## Mishty

Oh you sweet thing you, you're the boy crush of all my boy crushes, and I want to spend large amounts of time blow jobbing you.


----------



## spiritangel

Im happy as a squirrel now that Im with mr quirrell


----------



## rellis10

I thought Pro Bono meant you liked U2...


----------



## Mishty

I'm not calling you a liar, just don't liiiiie to me.


----------



## rellis10

I snub your badger!


----------



## lalatx

It is safe to say I am never drinking 100 proof Hot Damn ever, ever again.


----------



## CastingPearls

Where would we be without the agitators of the world attaching the electrodes of knowledge to the nipples of ignorance?


----------



## Mathias

I can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words...


----------



## Mishty

I changed the sheets, locked the door and grabbed Pam instead of whipped cream. :doh:


----------



## CAMellie

This shit just got real!


----------



## spiritangel

so much mail

and

she will never be you


----------



## CastingPearls

Don't come to my house and piss on my rug and expect to get away with it.


----------



## rellis10

Giant freakish bouncing mice


----------



## Mishty

I'm such an evil bitch.


----------



## Famouslastwords

"These are OR scrubs." "O-R they?"


----------



## CastingPearls

Jesus God, I can't take it with these dueling Eeyores.


----------



## spiritangel

So I walked under a bus
I got hit by a train
Keep falling in love
Which is kinda the same
I've sunk out at sea
Crashed my car, gone insane
And it felt so good
I want to do it again


----------



## luvbigfellas

How's it going to be, when you don't know me anymore?

Are you cold, is there no place, better safer friendlier than this, call me up, I'm alone, that's OK, that's all right, rather it be me than go without it, don't think about it right now...

Dammit, T. Why do you do this to me? 

Dammit, you, why do you make me want to....


----------



## spiritangel

well that was messier than i thought it would be


----------



## rellis10

Blueberry muffins....I'm coming for you!


----------



## Dromond

Welcome boredom, my old friend...


----------



## spiritangel

and yet again you were right


----------



## rellis10

Look upon me! I'll show you the life of the mind!


----------



## spiritangel

my loves for sale I dont need it anymore..............


----------



## Mishty

Hey, hey you, you smell like fried chicken and hope....come closer....closer....cloooosssser.......


----------



## CAMellie

Seriously...you're a bitch...go get laid or something, k?


----------



## CastingPearls

If they say BOO, don't piss your pants, that's what those out of earth bastards want from you. Your piss.


----------



## spiritangel

my brain wants to implode


----------



## WVMountainrear

Do you really want to fucking play that card when I have every message that you and I have ever exchanged about anything??

I don't know who you're used to dealing with, but I'm not stupid, sweetheart.


----------



## CastingPearls

The rage is in proportion to the truth.


----------



## CAMellie

Bi-polar weather we're having here today :huh:


----------



## littlefairywren

Ha! Act like an ass, and sooner or later that poop is going to hit you in the face!


----------



## AuntHen

I miss his sexy lips and tummy and running my hands through his gorgeous hair! Sighhhh...


----------



## spiritangel

so so dissappointed and so itching to start damn you pastels why do you have to be so freaking expensive


----------



## CAMellie

I hope whatever you're reaching for is a sandwich 'cause I'm about to make you eat it.


----------



## Sweetie

Scented candles light my night.


----------



## spiritangel

i shouldnt have bought that and that and that

but damn it i want to art journal


----------



## rellis10

My muffins better not smell like liver....


----------



## Mishty

No, I wouldn't like company!


----------



## rg770Ibanez

Happy birthday!!


----------



## SarahLaughsAlot

No, Sarah Your Piss Could Not Freeze MidStream XD! 

lol story time&#9829; me and my best friend ashley were crossing a mountain literally i'm from kentucky 90 degree incline and in the middle of BFE my bladder decided that due to all of the excitement i had to pee. well it was an honest question! i swear. but still the most random thing we've ever talked about bahaha&#9829;


----------



## SarahLaughsAlot

oh, and random thought for now "WHY IN THE HECK DO THEY CAP HOW MUCH REP YOU CAN GIVE IN A DAY!" i love repping people =) it's my way of saying thank you lol or introducing myself. they need unlimited rep


----------



## snuggletiger

blame the management.


----------



## penguin

I hate you, Fat Dog Mendoza, and your Little Costumed Buddy too.


----------



## snuggletiger

No folks the joint really does smell like that.


----------



## CastingPearls

I have never liked him, nor have seen any appeal to him, think he's even sneakier than she is, and trust him less than a syphilitic crackhead.


----------



## Mishty

I got so many secrets.


----------



## littlefairywren

I may look soft, but I have my limits.


----------



## ConnieLynn

ready to break my own rules


----------



## spiritangel

omg I slept


----------



## Dromond

Record breaking heat for the next week. A good time to stay inside.


----------



## Dromond

I hate double posting.


----------



## CastingPearls

The only delicacies that work with me are edible.


----------



## luvbigfellas

Yes, dear, you are a rat bastard. But you're hot. And sexy. (And most of the time, you're really not a rat bastard, you're actually really sweet.) And goddamn it, I know you enjoy my company. Get over that pride problem already.


----------



## penguin

Do me, do me now.


----------



## CAMellie

Chris Sarandon was one hot bastard in_ Fright Night_


----------



## CleverBomb

Whuh? Dinning!

-Rusty


----------



## CleverBomb

Doomy. Doomy now. 

-Rusty
(Today seems to lack doom. Not sure why, but on the whole it's probably a good thing that it does.)


----------



## CastingPearls

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything but the value of nothing.


----------



## spiritangel

immm awake I think


----------



## luvbigfellas

I demand a transporter. NOW. Damn you, Shatner.


----------



## CAMellie

Ohhhh you're so cool, Brewster!


----------



## spiritangel

there are so many bart simpsons around


----------



## CastingPearls

They are only crumbs and the world is full of cake.


----------



## Sweetie

Skippy looks like a conehead.


----------



## CastingPearls

Okay, we get the message, now stop, PLEASE.


----------



## spiritangel

and here I was thinking skippy was a skinhead


----------



## CAMellie

For the love of all that's holy...SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## penguin

spiritangel said:


> and here I was thinking skippy was a skinhead



HE IS. And so is Sooty.


----------



## CastingPearls

Dude, you wouldn't know holy if your drawers were made of Swiss cheese.


----------



## luvbigfellas

All right, I'll leave. But I better fucking get that $180 back that I paid to make sure your account wasn't overdrawn. One way or another. Or I'm going to call your parents and demand the money from them and then tell him wtf their son is up to.


----------



## spiritangel

I should have known the hype was to good to be true


----------



## mossystate

I don't know if you are being cruel to get fodder, or you have 22 different personalities.


----------



## CastingPearls

He sets low personal standards and consistently fails to achieve them.


----------



## spiritangel

your no superman

also

twilight is the mills and boon of its genre


----------



## CAMellie

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!!


----------



## CastingPearls

You're bringing a squeak toy to a knife fight.


----------



## WVMountainrear

This week is going to be HELL.


----------



## spiritangel

omg wow and wow and wtf universe seriously wtf


----------



## CastingPearls

There's a reason why they're called cast-offs.


----------



## Fuzzy

Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar that day I can tell you.


----------



## rellis10

So....tell us a bit about yourself.


----------



## Sweetie

Leave me alone.


----------



## spiritangel

honesty is always the best policy


----------



## Mishty

That's how we do it in Dixie, baby.


----------



## Sweetie

Stop poking me with that lampshade.


----------



## penguin

Anxiety and fear are not welcome here.


----------



## ConnieLynn

Good grief! Don't spend all your time whining about what bitches women are and then expect some good woman to fall out of the sky into your arms. Grow a pair!


----------



## Sweetie

I don't want to go to the body farm.


----------



## spiritangel

getting into that wee little box was like trying to get into fort knox


----------



## Mathias

Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?


----------



## Diana_Prince245

Naked male insecurity rarely leaves me breathless.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

why did you delete your account? did you find someone? you never tell me anything.


----------



## rellis10

Devil in a buttondown shirt


----------



## PhiloGirl

A man with a fantastically devilish smile can make me forget my own name for a few seconds...


----------



## Sweetie

I love a good sale.


----------



## penguin

It's fripples weather around here, people.


----------



## spiritangel

best rep ever!


----------



## Mishty

Girls just wanna have fuh-uuuun, yeah girls just wanna have funnnn.


----------



## WVMountainrear

I will say that walking downstairs behind you is magical.


----------



## spiritangel

its like trainwreck tv you just cant look away


----------



## CastingPearls

At this point it's just sad. Sad. Move on, please.


----------



## penguin

I can see the loop, but have no idea how to get in it.


----------



## rellis10

Booked! Signed, sealed and almost delivered


----------



## spiritangel

rellis10 said:


> Booked! Signed, sealed and almost delivered



mega excited for you on that one



now for my sentance


Wow you thought they were beautiful are you sure your not just flattering me?


----------



## NancyGirl74

Yeah...She looks like a bitch.


----------



## mz_puss

My cat ears have fluff on them , thats poo i wanted to wear them if only i had a matching tail....or a beard, Id totally rock a beard !


----------



## CAMellie

You kill me? *I* kill me...and you!


----------



## WVMountainrear

I am so friggin' sleepy right now...


----------



## CastingPearls

Animals are more delicious than they are cute.


----------



## one2one

I won BIG in the brother lottery.


----------



## one2one

If he dies first, I'm having him bronzed.


----------



## shinyapple

You are a rancid C-you-next-Tuesday and can't seem to control it. No one wants to hear your perpetually obnoxious opinion or questions.


----------



## CleverBomb

It's big but I don't feel stupid using it.

-Rusty


----------



## mossystate

Trash and collect, you are one piece of yucky work.


----------



## rellis10

You know what I'm buying....do you REALLY have to tell me about offers? *blushes alot*


----------



## pegz

Really? This is how it all ends? Who woulda thunk it?


----------



## Fuzzy

Even though you broke my heart and killed me. And tore me to pieces. And threw every peice into a fire.


----------



## mossystate

I hope you said just how much you agree and also your own more much more outrageous take on the subject - hope you let them know that, toooooo.


----------



## CAMellie

You're not as great as you think you are...it's gonna bite you in the ass someday and I'll be waiting WITH POPCORN!


----------



## WVMountainrear

I'll never get used to these braided pigtails.


----------



## Sweetie

Beware the black sckipperke after dark....


----------



## HighAltitudeFA

I don't know what type of girl you take me for, but my pony tail butt plug HAS to be blonde to match my hair...


----------



## WVMountainrear

HighAltitudeFA said:


> I don't know what type of girl you take me for, but my pony tail butt plug HAS to be blonde to match my hair...



Damn straight.


----------



## CastingPearls

HighAltitudeFA said:


> I don't know what type of girl you take me for, but my pony tail butt plug HAS to be blonde to match my hair...


Ditto. LOL ....


----------



## CAMellie

I'm pretty much convinced that, if you had an original thought, your head would explode!


----------



## spiritangel

You may seek it with thimbles - and seek it with care; You may hunt it with forks and hope; You may threaten its life with a railway-share; You may charm it with smiles and soap


----------



## CastingPearls

What dark corner of the soul did you crawl out of? Jerry OConnell, in Sliders


----------



## snuggletiger

I did it on my own. Yaaay me


----------



## CAMellie

You're dumber than a tree stump.


----------



## TraciJo67

No matter how many shiny baubles you collect, no matter how many lies you tell to others (and to yourself), it will never be enough to fill that black hole in your soul. Your unhappiness is not due to actions/misactions of others. It is directly tied to the fact that you are living a lie, and operating far to the left of your own value system.


----------



## CAMellie

Take a valium, masturbate more often (or start masturbating), get laid...but do something...ANYTHING...to get off of that judgmental high-horse of yours. Your "witty" comments make you sound like a bitch...nothing more. Get over yourself already.


----------



## Mathias

Can't wait until all this work is done so I can enjoy the weekend.


----------



## ktrnhill

I love my "fuc*it" all medicine, cause I don't care anymore!


----------



## penguin

I have never hated a cartoon as much as I do you, Fat Dog.


----------



## CleverBomb

Ask your doctor if Damitol(tm) is right for you.

-Rusty


----------



## Nose_body_knows

going to Hobart was tiring...


----------



## CAMellie

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you,... you're cool and fuck you, I'm out!


----------



## spiritangel

if you have a problem with someone take it to pm and stop infecting the rest of the world with your negativity


----------



## littlefairywren

spiritangel said:


> if you have a problem with someone take it to pm and stop infecting the rest of the world with your negativity



Amen. Else it makes you look worse than your supposed object of hate...............


----------



## CleverBomb

They've opened the Beast Box, haven't they?

-Rusty
(Might belong in the Free Association - Lyrics thread but it seems random enough)


----------



## CAMellie

Movie quotes, people. Don't be so uptight.


----------



## penguin

I can't wait to get my kitchen back.


----------



## spiritangel

I think that afternoon nap was a bad idea


----------



## JulianDW

You can tell a lot about someone by the ice bags they make...


----------



## CAMellie

And the walls came tumbling down...


----------



## spiritangel

omg omfg t minus 1 hour and counting down I am so trying to not be a nervous wreck omg omg omg


----------



## rellis10

The human species has no purpose other than that which we have given ourselves.


----------



## snuggletiger

Lady don't give me the stinkeye because I called your boyfriend a slum kid.


----------



## penguin

Those aren't feet, they're ice cubes.


----------



## spiritangel

I am still buzzing that was just AMAZING!!


----------



## ConnieLynn

No, no food. I want sex. Bring me some sex.


----------



## Zandoz

You called for room service?


----------



## ConnieLynn

I'm a very good tipper


----------



## spiritangel

Omg what an awesome day!!!! First a reading for an amazing talented lady and now a new faker single life is awesomesauce


----------



## HeavyDuty24

that was great,but im wondering if it will ever happen again,i feel it won't...


----------



## Zandoz

Wake me when it's over.


----------



## penguin

So close to being done. So very, very close.


----------



## snuggletiger

My friend you THINK she cares but something tells me its jive


----------



## CAMellie

Roses & Bows sucks balls!


----------



## JulianDW

I have never hated computers more than I do right now


----------



## herin

How did I become the devil in this scenario?


----------



## HeavyDuty24

um,don't really know what to think on this one!:doh:


----------



## spiritangel

Almond M&M's I am fighting a probably loosing battle to not pig out on the other two bags I have here


----------



## ConnieLynn

Martinis, gay boys, and 80s music... somebody bring me some morning after coffee so I can roll back into the grownup world.


----------



## snuggletiger

Still bummed I am alone on my birthday


----------



## CAMellie

If Roses & Bows fucks up the order...I'm gonna smack a bitch!


----------



## spiritangel

sometimes knowing stuff sux I dont want to break someones heart


----------



## penguin

I miss you.


----------



## Dromond

Jellyfish?! Oh, HELL no!


----------



## CAMellie

The flower arrangement they did correctly...is just breathtakingly beautiful!


----------



## ThikJerseyChik

How many decades have you been mentally ill????? :doh:


----------



## Mathias

That makes for one hell of a picture.


----------



## WomanlyHips

Ranch for your fried green beans?


----------



## Mishty

Fat,drunk and stupid is no way to go through life,TOGA TOGA TOGA.


----------



## herin

Here I am, right here.


----------



## Mathias

Too many Urkels on your team that's why ya Winslow.


----------



## ThikJerseyChik

You used to be my Kryptonite..but not anymore! :goodbye:


----------



## ConnieLynn

Piffle. I have to waste money on buying bras again? We need to start burning them again!


----------



## 1love_emily

Serendipity is a mysterious mistress.


----------



## CAMellie

When you see family members maybe once every 10 years...it's not really upsetting when they say they never want to see me again.


----------



## penguin

I'm so freaking frustrated.


----------



## herin

You are the only exception.


----------



## lalatx

I'm going to put your stuff here, I have plans on getting up.


----------



## CAMellie

If you knew how much a truly hate you, you would live in fear for your life.


----------



## pegz

You need a young one next time.... that way you can mold em' like you like em'.


----------



## CAMellie

Morphine pretty much rocks!


----------



## CastingPearls

You can pray for a unicorn but it doesn't mean you'll get one.


----------



## CAMellie

Scandal is gossip made tedious by morality.


----------



## Mathias

Why did I think eating that was a good idea?


----------



## spiritangel

Is it wrong to want to kiss the postman I mean he brings me pressents like charcoal pencils and glaze pens


----------



## CAMellie

Chewing gum is really gross. Chewing gum I hate the most.


----------



## CastingPearls

Once again you really shouldn't mumble, 'cause it's kinda starting to bum me out.


----------



## WVMountainrear

I am _trying_ to be productive...a little...


----------



## CAMellie

Rollll...rollll...roll in ze hay!


----------



## Mathias

Ok, well have a nap ZEN FIRE ZE MISSILES!!


----------



## KittyKitten

I think they should make Jem and the Holograms into a movie starring Beyonce as Jem!


----------



## CleverBomb

Let me call you back in a few minutes, I have to reboot my phone.

-Rusty


----------



## Mishty

One more shitty week and I'm gonna need stronger drugs.


----------



## Mathias

Can't wait for my new wheelchair to get here so I can ditch crappy old one.


----------



## WVMountainrear

I have no idea why I'm still awake.


----------



## Mathias

Never a dull moment around here...


----------



## spiritangel

sometimes being a girl sux


----------



## KittyKitten

Man, I would love to work in this office....


----------



## spiritangel

oh good god no not another option intelligent articulate oh hell two great choices was bad enough


----------



## snuggletiger

I am the bestest me there is.


----------



## Mishty

Keep it up bitch, you'll wake up single. :doh:


----------



## The Orange Mage

Dumb pictures of self? Rep city!

Hilarious (to me) smartassery involving amputee webmodels? TUMBLEWEEDS.


----------



## CastingPearls

Fortune: A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships were built for.


----------



## spiritangel

change will come by spring the world will be new again


----------



## rellis10

Guns dont kill people....pandas with guns kill people!


----------



## zabadguy

If "its" and "buts" were "whores" and "sluts we'd all be getting laid.....


----------



## Mathias

Hey! Listen!


----------



## CleverBomb

@Dims Arrived #Venice #Italy #WTF streets flooded!

-Rusty
(The original version of this was a telegram, ages ago.)


----------



## Sweetie

I'm waiting very patiently for my key.


----------



## bigguy123

Sweetie said:


> I'm waiting very patiently for my key.



ME TOO!!!!! WHENS IT COMING???????????????????????


----------



## Sweetie

bigguy123 said:


> ME TOO!!!!! WHENS IT COMING???????????????????????




lol :wubu:


----------



## 1love_emily

I'm going to be away for a MONTH!!!

I leave tomorrow


----------



## CAMellie

Reporter: What would you call that hairstyle you're wearing?
George: Arthur.


----------



## spiritangel

your too adorable


----------



## WVMountainrear

I guess I'll just eat some DoubleStuf Oreos and call it a night.


----------



## Mishty

Someone ate my Ben n Jerry's, some filthy thief took my pint of goodness, my frozen tub of hope.


----------



## WVMountainrear

Mishty said:


> Someone ate my Ben n Jerry's, some filthy thief took my pint of goodness, my frozen tub of hope.



My condolences...what flavor?


----------



## Mishty

lovelylady78 said:


> My condolences...what flavor?



Thank you,C. It was the *NEW* Red Velvet Cake....the Queen of good. 

I found the pint, someone only ate a few bites.
I'll not rest till I know who.....


----------



## CastingPearls

You gave em a revolution and nobody did anything...was it too much?


----------



## WVMountainrear

Mishty said:


> Thank you,C. It was the *NEW* Red Velvet Cake....the Queen of good.
> 
> I found the pint, someone only ate a few bites.
> I'll not rest till I know who.....



*NO!!* There shall be retribution.


----------



## spiritangel

This fat girl is not easy and well worth a little effort


----------



## CastingPearls

There just might be a tiny violin for her somewhere.


----------



## penguin

The Maybe Baby box has just doubled.


----------



## CleverBomb

Get Your Boat Bumping!

-Rusty


----------



## shinyapple

Your new husband's head is so far up his ass he could chew on the corn in his colon.


----------



## Mishty

No sir, we don't call Mimi a doo doo ball!


----------



## spiritangel

what was I thinking


----------



## Dromond

You think erasing the evidence will make the scandal vanish.

Think again.


----------



## CastingPearls

beyond done burnt to a cinder nothing left to cling to no life rafts left


----------



## CAMellie

She's a dirty, dirty dancer...


----------



## spiritangel

hurry up hurry up hurry up


----------



## Adamantoise

My eyebrows dislike cats.


----------



## CAMellie

Slimy...yet satisfying


----------



## Mathias

If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.


----------



## spiritangel

seriously I am on like the start of the delivery route and your gonna make me wait till the end of the delivery window


----------



## spiritangel

soo worth the wait free porterhouse steak yummmm


----------



## spiritangel

I am a feeders wet dream atm


----------



## Fuzzy

If you didn't have one, Your parents didn't love you.


----------



## spiritangel

omg I am embracing my inner jackson pollock what am I thinking I hate blue poles


----------



## HeavyDuty24

yeah sluts will indeed be sluts...


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Fuzzy said:


> If you didn't have one, Your parents didn't love you.



omg damn the holy grail! i was never able to find one!:doh:


----------



## willowmoon

HeavyDuty24 said:


> omg damn the holy grail! i was never able to find one!:doh:



Had one, but sold it in my shop around a year ago (that particular Pokemon version of the console, that is.) That "Hey You, Pikachu" game was horrible, though.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

willowmoon said:


> Had one, but sold it in my shop around a year ago (that particular Pokemon version of the console, that is.) That "Hey You, Pikachu" game was horrible, though.




o your lucky man! i remember i looked around for one at the time of release but to no avail.lol i still may look for one online.i still have a regular N64 but wouldn't mind having the pokemon one.i miss the colored 64's.  the hey you pokemon game,meh.>.> Pokemon Stadium owned though! lol pokemon snap was a drag.LOL!


----------



## mossystate

Thank you, J-boy.


----------



## CastingPearls

Argue for your limitations and, sure enough, they're yours. ~ Richard Bach


----------



## Mishty

Have I ever mentioned my serial killer fetish?


----------



## spiritangel

i think I started something


----------



## Mathias

Eh, I might as well...


----------



## Dromond

There is this, there is that, and there is the other thing. I'm confused by it all.


----------



## CleverBomb

Well, there IS that. 

-Rusty


----------



## spiritangel

and dont forget that as well


----------



## HeavyDuty24

not sure what kind of sick and twisted crap you guys are into but i want NO part of it.all you guys are twisted you guys are all made for each other.


----------



## StickMan

How exactly is one supposed to entertain someone who is already asleep?


----------



## CAMellie

My oscillating fan is making weird noises and I keep thinking it's gonna fly apart and decapitate me. :huh:


----------



## Mathias

Welcome to the Roughnecks.


----------



## Fuzzy

Bowl of hot chili with saltines crumbled over the top... comfort food.


----------



## spiritangel

im awake i think


----------



## Mishty

Six pounds of grilled cheeses,damn you Adam.


----------



## spiritangel

It was only a week I cant believe how much I missed you so glad your back


----------



## rellis10

"They call me 'three-balls'."


----------



## spiritangel

hahahahaha balls


----------



## LeoGibson

Well, fuck me running.


----------



## AuntHen

The trust of the innocent is the liars most useful tool.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

eh? was it something i said? :huh:


----------



## CastingPearls

There's insanity in your eyes and I think for the first time ever, I kinda wish you had used some kind of avatar like the rest of them rather than your own pic cos you make my skin crawl, creepy mccreepster.


----------



## Mishty

Yeah little piss ants, keep running by the groves, can't get in an unopened can little homies.


----------



## lalatx

Only 12 hrs til he returns... bow chicka wow wow.


----------



## Adamantoise

Has anyone seen my alligator?


----------



## penguin

I think I should get into chat more.


----------



## penguin

There were eyes all over my desk.


----------



## spiritangel

so much paperwork


----------



## Mathias

That's like trying to fight a Transformer with a barbeque fork. :blink:


----------



## kaylaisamachine

I wish I could be as sexy as one of these Burlesque dancers. :wubu:


----------



## HeavyDuty24

just cause ya say it dosen't make it true.


----------



## Tyna

I stumbled on a website that helps you plan your own funeral (one thread lead to another until I wound up there, lol) and I started to plan my funeral. I was so into it that at one point I got kinda sad. Because it sounds like such a kick ass party and I won't be "there" to enjoy it, lmao.


----------



## spiritangel

so many jumbled thoughts bouncing around my head


----------



## rg770Ibanez

This is freaking lame.


----------



## CastingPearls

The best is yet to come.


----------



## littlefairywren

Ignorant doesn't even cover it, bozo.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

yeah,easy for you to say.you think you know,but you have no idea,stop with the judging will ya!.:doh:


----------



## spiritangel

a little bit done is better than nothing


----------



## snuggletiger

Insensitive? I am shocked.


----------



## kaylaisamachine

Get me out of here! I need to breathe!


----------



## CAMellie

...and on that farm he shot some guys...


----------



## spiritangel

hmm and he dissappears again shrugs looks like another one bites the dust


----------



## pegz

Ok.. I'm ready... bring it on


----------



## HeavyDuty24

yup.the door..it's DATTA WAY! see ya!


----------



## CAMellie

Gigglesnort IS a word, dammit!!!


----------



## LeoGibson

What in the hell am I doing?


----------



## CleverBomb

Where are we going, and why are we in a handbasket?

-Rusty


----------



## CarlaSixx

Thank Gawd he's not really like the rest of them.


----------



## penguin

My feet just aren't going to massage themselves.


----------



## kaylaisamachine

I am terribly afraid of this guilt I will endure.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

im REEEALY starting to get sick of you,yeah i said it...


----------



## spiritangel

I really enjoyed our conversation last night you are such a sweetheart sometimes


----------



## snuggletiger

Ok OK Ok maybe it was something I said <Berlesque shrug>


----------



## CastingPearls

Stop giving advice on dating when it's glaringly obvious by your own words that it's never been one of your strengths.


----------



## snuggletiger

You're right it hasn't hence the whole learning curve thingie.


----------



## rellis10

Your truth isnt necessarily THE truth....think about this before informing others.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

just because you live your life a certain way does not mean everyone should follow in your path...there's more the one way to skin a cat...


----------



## Fuzzy

Freeeeow... where the hell is the x64 download of PowerShell?


----------



## CleverBomb

Enjoy your cherries.

-Rusty


----------



## snuggletiger

Always have a glass of champagne each day


----------



## CAMellie

There's always room for Jell-O


----------



## snuggletiger

Maybe the fizz from the champagne would unyuck my tummy


----------



## ThikJerseyChik

I am SO over this &*^%$^ rain!


----------



## Aust99

So your back..... things are bound to be different though.


----------



## spiritangel

ouch ffs body seriously


----------



## mossystate

Don't worry lil hysterical feller, there will always be plenty of fat women.


----------



## CAMellie

I AM the light...what you seek is fire.


----------



## penguin

The last 24 hours just proves my theory that children are energy vampires.


----------



## CAMellie

Look at what's happening with bananas!


----------



## Fuzzy

Obey Your Thirst!


----------



## CleverBomb

Bubba's Ninjur Cademy:
Thurty days, be a ninjur. 
Garanteeya.

-Rusty


----------



## spiritangel

soooo tired and sooooooooooooooooooo not feeling social but anything for you kid I adore you


----------



## penguin

Insecurity is an unwelcome house guest.


----------



## CAMellie

Snugglesnugglesnugglesnugglefuckersnugglesnugglesnugglesnuggle!


----------



## spiritangel

I adore you there is a reason your song is calling all angels by train you are our angel pure delight and I am so glad you had a wonderful birthday and I got to spoil you rotten


----------



## rg770Ibanez

Today's one of those EFFING days again.


----------



## CAMellie

Seriously...yuck...really?


----------



## HeavyDuty24

really thought it would happen this time,but should have known better.


----------



## penguin

Don't look at how far you've got to go, look at how far you're already come.


----------



## spiritangel

today is veg day do nothing and relax ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


----------



## ConnieLynn

Still up -- empty bed is not calling my name.


----------



## spiritangel

how can a day be so sucky and yet so amazing all in one emotional rollercoasters be gone please


----------



## veggieforever

*and so they go like sheep to the moon...!!!*


----------



## Aust99

I'm hungry but if I eat I wont be able to sleep...... so I'm going to bed!!!


----------



## snuggletiger

wondering how hot it has to be to not enjoy a cup of coffee.


----------



## Mishty

You're a rich girl, and you've gone too far 'Cause you know it don't matter anyway.


----------



## CAMellie

See you next Wednesday!


----------



## spiritangel

I am so ooover your damn music and heavy bass it hurts me physically why cant you go back to never being home!!!!!!


----------



## Mathias

Eh, I might as well go all out on this one.


----------



## Mishty

If I find 'er, I'm gonna blast her urethra with a nice swift Texas Ranger foot jab to the vagina.


----------



## CleverBomb

Some Everyday Item: What You Don't Know Could Kill You

-Rusty
(yeah, i stole that.)


----------



## CAMellie

Quirk...smarm...quirky smarm.


----------



## Aust99

Why are you hiding from me mr sandman??


----------



## rellis10

Tic-Tac Milkshake......what?


----------



## CastingPearls

Take these broken wings and learn to fly...All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise.


----------



## TheMrs

The North Pole is sounding like a good vacation spot. 115 in the shade with the heat index.


----------



## rellis10

Spontaneous Anteater Explosion


----------



## spiritangel

we natter like nanners


----------



## CAMellie

...and the walls fell...


----------



## Mishty

Dude, did you just pee in the floor?!


----------



## CastingPearls

Put your peppers on my plate, baby-doll.


----------



## Theatrmuse/Kara

No one would consider us normal.


----------



## Mishty

What's in my pocket dawg, BIG FACE HUNDREDS!


----------



## AuntHen

live quietly and wait


----------



## kaylaisamachine

I solemnly swear I am up to no good.


----------



## Mishty

For once, I did the proper thing....where is my cookie?


----------



## jen68

What am I thinking at this moment... Im thinking fuck you fuck this shit stay the hell on your side a d bed mo fo if I aint the one u want then get the hell outa here n leave me alone... Luv is more then just words dont tell me u love me the way u be acting


----------



## mossystate

How sad to see that this was her birthday.


----------



## CAMellie

His favorite adjective is "throbbing".


----------



## Mathias

Well, at least I got to watch my favorite show all evening.


----------



## Mishty

Down came a blackbird set on a fence, talkin' in riddles makin' no sense cause she's gone.....


----------



## penguin

Zombies. Omg.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

all this is great,but yeah,always be alittle cautious!


----------



## shinyapple

OMG...STFU about your lost password and project. We needed to leave an hour ago and you're on the phone about it _again_. If I wind up with a lousy seat for this movie because of this, I'm going to beat you with a bag of popcorn.


----------



## spiritangel

I seriously hope you havent fallen asleep at work


----------



## rg770Ibanez

How can it be a comfort zone if I'm not comfortable with it?


----------



## spiritangel

I tried sooo hard to stop the freight train of emotions but I cant help falling if I know you will be there to catch me


----------



## Mishty

Opened my eye to a lovely morning, but opened my mouth to the saddest Jones song ever.


----------



## spiritangel

sleeps waiting embrace beckons and I can no longer fight it


----------



## CAMellie

It's the Brack Show starring ME...I'm Brack!


----------



## kaylaisamachine

I am so exhausted.


----------



## snuggletiger

What is so funny about Lewis?


----------



## CAMellie

Your Face. God Dammit.


----------



## spiritangel

romance is well and truly alive you prove that to me multiple times a day


----------



## Mishty

I can't be every where, here and there all at once.


----------



## CAMellie

He's a loose cannon but he gets results...


----------



## Mishty

I don't have to fuck a cracker do I?


----------



## mossystate

You really have a desire to crawl up her backside, don't you.


----------



## KHayes666

Don't thank him he did nothing!


----------



## HottiMegan

Beans, Beans, they're good for your heart


----------



## CAMellie

You're a mean one...Mr. Grinch


----------



## MissAshley

If you can't duck it, fuck it.


----------



## spiritangel

has it really only been a week?


----------



## HeavyDuty24

some things just happen,and that's just how the cookie crumbles...


----------



## HeavyDuty24

HottiMegan said:


> Beans, Beans, they're good for your heart



the more you eat the more you....


----------



## spiritangel

someone pinch me i swear I am dreaming and it cant be real


----------



## Dromond

Note to self: when walking on egg shells, don't hop.


----------



## CAMellie

I would call you a closet lesbian but I like lesbians too much to insult them like that.


----------



## kaylaisamachine

Holy cramps.


----------



## CAMellie

Being human in a world full of vampires is as about as safe as bare-backing a five dollar whore.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

"it'll walk you home safe everynight,it'll help you...remember."


----------



## spiritangel

you are always constantly suprising and amazing me


----------



## CleverBomb

This thing's a behemoth!

-Rusty


----------



## danielson123

I have't been in my house since the 4th of July.


----------



## kaylaisamachine

Why do I desire to be friends with my exs?


----------



## mossystate

don'trespondtothatdriveldon'tdoitmoniqueohitburnsiwanttorespond


----------



## HeavyDuty24

*claps hands* damn good performance damn good! i freakin love you guys!


----------



## WVMountainrear

All things are made better by cuppycakes.


----------



## CastingPearls

Serendipity ha ha ha just bit you in the ass.


----------



## spiritangel

soo cold and rainy perfect snuggle weather


----------



## Aust99

Grrrrrr.... Damn you Carnegies!!!


----------



## mossystate

My brother and I are the same age for the next 28 days. Oh, my poor Mom! :huh:


----------



## spiritangel

the best thing about sexy bears is they leave footprints on your heart


----------



## Mishty

I need a boy like you, like a hole in my head.


----------



## spiritangel

seriously think I have to go back to the fracture clinic


----------



## one2one

I just don't find vampires to be credible characters.


----------



## Mishty

This is my 3,OOOth post.


----------



## spiritangel

Mishty said:


> This is my 3,OOOth post.



congrats Mishty awesome 



and 

I cannot believe how lucky I am


----------



## Fuzzy

Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by you know how I feel

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good


----------



## kaylaisamachine

Dancing slowly an empty room, can the lonely take the place of you?


----------



## Mishty

there's no use crying over spilt milk.


----------



## penguin

Holy crap, my nipples hurt. A chilly winter's morning isn't helping any, either.


----------



## spiritangel

wow we did it


----------



## Dromond

The stupidity... the blinding, awful, stupidity...


----------



## kaylaisamachine

Jamaican me crazy!


----------



## PhiloGirl

When you start thinking about participating in medical experiments for cash, you know it's time to give up on the job search for the day.


----------



## moore2me

penguin said:


> Holy crap, my nipples hurt. A chilly winter's morning isn't helping any, either.



I know these are supposed to be be random sentences - - but by the *Stars and Bars *- - have mercy. In Arkansas and neighboring states we have been in a heat wave that has set a record held since the 1930's during the day and at night!! Our night-time* lows *have been in the 90's.

I am thinking of giving up my diurnal livestyle and becoming nocturnal. My hamster shall lead the way (if I can just get him off that stoopid wheel). 

Creak, Creak, Creak . . . . . 

View attachment animated-hamster.gif


----------



## pdgujer148

Being kind requires extra effort.


----------



## penguin

moore2me said:


> I know these are supposed to be be random sentences - - but by the *Stars and Bars *- - have mercy. In Arkansas and neighboring states we have been in a heat wave that has set a record held since the 1930's during the day and at night!! Our night-time* lows *have been in the 90's.



My nipples could've been used to cool your drinks down. Think about that


----------



## moore2me

penguin said:


> My nipples could've been used to cool your drinks down. Think about that



The french would use champagne glasses for such a task.
The germans might use a beer stein.
Some of my neighbor states drink from mason jars.
In Arkansas, we usually drink from the large plastic slurpee cups from 7-Elevens. (I have a matched service for eight - Batman Returns Edition.)


----------



## penguin

moore2me said:


> The french would use champagne glasses for such a task.
> The germans might use a beer stein.
> Some of my neighbor states drink from mason jars.
> In Arkansas, we usually drink from the large plastic slurpee cups from 7-Elevens. (I have a matched service for eight - Batman Returns Edition.)



My nipples would only get into your drink in a champagne glass if it was filled right up!


----------



## Shan34

I think I need pizza and a better memory! :eat2:


----------



## CAMellie

Quit humping that pole, ya weirdo!


----------



## spiritangel

ok so now how do I let you down gently?


----------



## Mathias

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!! 

...No.


----------



## mossystate

nutrasweet rat


----------



## daddyoh70

penguin said:


> My nipples could've been used to cool your drinks down. Think about that



Is there a trick to getting oneself to STOP thinking about this?


----------



## ConnieLynn

Why am I on hold? Gotta be something better to do on Friday evening. Oh wait, it's hotter than hell outside.


----------



## CAMellie

The new Guinness World record for the most lips pressed to one ass at the same time!!!!


----------



## MissAshley

"867-5309"


----------



## Scalloped Dodo

I love karma, but sometimes I wish I had some instant karma...I would be using it now......-s.d.


----------



## deadly-spaghetti-o

The only thing on my mind right now is how much I wish my mother did over-exaggerate every little thing. :doh:


----------



## 1love_emily

I have the best boyfriend in the entire world. :wubu:


----------



## Mathias

There's mountain lions everywhere!! :blink:


----------



## snuggletiger

I am the Lord of the Dance said He.


----------



## Linda

My son just compared Santa Clause to God.


----------



## GlassDaemon

This bra hurts, and phooie it's my only strapless, why can't I find a comfortable strapless?


----------



## rockhound225

My god, Truck Stop Missouri was/is filmed less than three miles from where I live, yet it seems to be an entirely different world and really makes me wonder if I sound like that to everyone I meet.


----------



## CleverBomb

They sentanced me to twenty years of boredom, for trying to change the system from within.

-Rusty 
(Yes, it ought to be in the free-association: lyrics thread. But it's random enough.)


----------



## mossystate

I bet you worked ' it '.


----------



## snuggletiger

Your buddy is as charming as Syphilis.


----------



## Mishty

I tried to stay away, I swear I did.


----------



## danielson123

I sweat more than the average human.


----------



## CastingPearls

There was this small kid in the front dismantling a rocking horse with such destructive intensity that our whole show seemed to be sponsored by Kafka.


----------



## littlefairywren

I can smell a barbecue. NOMNOMNOM!


----------



## WVMountainrear

My feet are cold.


----------



## Mishty

I'll remember this shit.


----------



## Aust99

Ok... I'll take two!!! Eeek!


----------



## rellis10

Starved to death in a cage full of mice.


----------



## one2one

It is a perfect storm.


----------



## Mathias

Well, that's one major problem taken care of. :happy:


----------



## snuggletiger

Now I feel like chick in the story


----------



## ManBeef

There are a lot of tittums in this anime


----------



## Linda

If I put on a french maid outfit I think he would still miss the sarcasm there.


----------



## spiritangel

I am so lucky you make me smile, and I am also lucky to have such amazing and wonderful friends


----------



## mossystate

It's not a competition to see who cares more.


----------



## penguin

I feel like I'm stuck in limbo. Waiting, waiting, waiting.


----------



## CleverBomb

Touch me, Baby Tainted-Love!(tm)

New! Baby Tainted-Love(tm) by Mattel. In Stores Now!

-Rusty


----------



## CastingPearls

Passive-aggression must be a late Pantone color pick for autumn but it's not a good color for you.


----------



## penguin

I need a new camera.


----------



## Mathias

Long live the bumbling Badger of Mediocrity!


----------



## Mathias

I don't need that from you, thank you very much.


----------



## LeoGibson

Do you like gladiator movies?


----------



## CleverBomb

We've heard of it, yes.

-Rusty


----------



## BLK360

So....the cargo is starting to turn, is it time yet?


----------



## penguin

My thighs wish you were here.


----------



## spiritangel

omg it could be like 2 weeks sooo excited


----------



## spiritangel

omg it could be like 2 weeks sooo excited


----------



## Linda

It just keeps getting better and better.


----------



## snuggletiger

If you thought that remark was obnoxious you ain't seen nothing yet <accompanied with eyeroll and wave of an Archie Bunker esque cigar>


----------



## LeoGibson

Sometimes I am a maroon.:doh:


----------



## CastingPearls

You pull me like the moon pulls on the tide
You know just where I keep my better side

okay, two lines.


----------



## Mathias

Hi Principal Skinner! Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers!


----------



## snuggletiger

Lemme help you out, which way did you come in?


----------



## spiritangel

Omg when did finding a reasonably priced hotel become like mining for gold


----------



## mossystate

The whistle was blown.


----------



## Linda

I just don't want to argue with you anymore.


----------



## danielson123

I do nothing WAY better than Patrick Star.


----------



## Fuzzy

Have you in fact got any cheese here at all?


----------



## CastingPearls

danielson123 said:


> I do nothing WAY better than Patrick Star.


I'll be honest that when I first read this, I thought you were referring to Spongebob's best friend.


----------



## Heyyou

Im rather glad the Red Bull was available on 49th st and i didnt have to walk to Mack's Deli three blocks up this time.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I so want a bath...le sigh


----------



## mossystate

Where are all the concerned friends who won't warn of the walking into danger...where are the ' friends '.


----------



## TraciJo67

mossystate said:


> Where are all the concerned friends who won't warn of the walking into danger...where are the ' friends '.


 
where are the frenemies, even?

oh. yeah.


----------



## CleverBomb

mossystate said:


> Where are all the concerned friends who won't warn of the walking into danger...where are the ' friends '.


You deserve an award for your user title.

A cat ass plaque... no, wait.. more like cat ass trophy.

-Rusty

(yes, that was catastrophic)


----------



## littlefairywren

Pt 1....Not all convicts are overbearing drama llamas. 

Pt 2....I would really love some chocolate right now.


----------



## Mathias

Somebody needs to make a "Non-Dims/Facebook Related letter thread or something. Christ.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

If one truly wants to keep things private - then don't talk about it!! JC...how freakin' easy is that?


----------



## mossystate

The letter thread is only for Dims related stuff? I didn't know that.


----------



## mossystate

One more sentence, starting after this one. If folks are going to hate, please, it's not Muslin. :bow:


----------



## spiritangel

7 days just 7 days excited nervous overwhelmed a little and ever so in love


----------



## Heyyou

spiritangel said:


> 7 days just 7 days excited nervous overwhelmed a little and ever so in love



First time in love, or first time to this extent of how enthused you are with the other person? :wubu:


----------



## spiritangel

Heyyou said:


> First time in love, or first time to this extent of how enthused you are with the other person? :wubu:



not first time in love (although everytime I have fallen for someone it has been different in some way)  lots of firsts with this person though and he has joined dimms so you will all meet him as soon as he posts his intro 


and I dont think I have ever felt quite this way about anyone before not a single barrier or fear to be who I am with him or any holding back parts of myself or fear to speak my mind its wonderful  he is damn amazing though


----------



## Heyyou

spiritangel said:


> not first time in love (although everytime I have fallen for someone it has been different in some way)  lots of firsts with this person though and he has joined dimms so you will all meet him as soon as he posts his intro
> 
> 
> and I dont think I have ever felt quite this way about anyone before not a single barrier or fear to be who I am with him or any holding back parts of myself or fear to speak my mind its wonderful  he is damn amazing though



Well! All i can say is: "Tuu-raa-loo-raa-loo-raa-lOO-RAA-YAAAAY!; Im gonna hum this tune forever!" Congrats, spirtangel :batting:


----------



## spiritangel

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr you tell me to do something I do it then you tell me no that isnt what you want bah humbug red tape and such


----------



## Heyyou

This guy on the motorcycle that just drove by with "Smoke on the water" cranked up real loud reminds me that i need an office job, far away from all this tomfoolery, lmao.


----------



## penguin

I loathe the Wonder Pets.


----------



## spiritangel

oh girl time you better be gone by monday!!


----------



## CleverBomb

These are diabolical Bozos.

-Rusty


----------



## Heyyou

A weight has been lifted.


----------



## Linda

I'm going to pay for this later.


----------



## spiritangel

omg the list is sooo long not sure how I will get it all done


----------



## CleverBomb

I never anthropomorphize inanimate objects. They hate that.

-Rusty


----------



## Scorsese86

So yeah, I don't have much to say, but I talk all the time.


----------



## mossystate

Whooooosh.


----------



## snuggletiger

I want ice cream.


----------



## Heyyou

My friends from New York say hello, my friends from L.A. they dont know.


----------



## CastingPearls

You don't look sexy, you look demented but if it works for him, go you.


----------



## spiritangel

less than 30 ish hours omg sooo much to do


----------



## penguin

I'm getting my wine on, friends are coming over. Gonna be good times tonight.


----------



## Mishty

I gots some lyrics, Malibu nights, tangerine dreams......


----------



## AuntHen

Heaven forbid that you would actually try to talk to me when I am "around". :/


----------



## spiritangel

My mental calculator seems to have gone on holliday


----------



## Heyyou

Signiore Michael Corleone says we must make him an offer he cant refuse so that he can sign the financial papers.


----------



## spiritangel

All organised phew


----------



## snuggletiger

The rate you're going Lady , name your bun in the oven Bumson. Trust me it'll answer alot of questions later.


----------



## Mishty

I just wish you knew that it's not as serious for the other part of your equation, it's all in your heart, you're love dumb.


----------



## Heyyou

spiritangel said:


> All organised phew



I am pleased to hear this!


----------



## spiritangel

this bed is crazy and very low I mean seriously two beds pushed together thank god we got this place mega discounted or I would be absolutely up in arms


----------



## Heyyou

spiritangel said:


> this bed is crazy and very low I mean seriously two beds pushed together thank god we got this place mega discounted or I would be absolutely up in arms



I wish you a much better bed in the future, and congrats on the house!


----------



## Mathias

I don't know how I'm going to do this... :really sad:


----------



## JonesT

Hellllooooooo Bed


----------



## spiritangel

Heyyou said:


> I wish you a much better bed in the future, and congrats on the house!



ummm what house?????

I feel like the luckiest woman around


----------



## Heyyou

Oh, these times are hard and they making us crazy, dont give up on me baby.


----------



## KittyKitten

Woooooooooah She's Pregnant!!!!!!


----------



## Heyyou

There are rich teams, there are poor teams, and then there is about 50 feet of stuff, and then there's us.


----------



## WVMountainrear

Bitter much?


----------



## Heyyou

Booking her flight and hotel at the same time is a serious money-saving maneuver.


----------



## 1love_emily

I'm having one of those days when I just need someone to tell me that I'm doing something right and that I am not stupid and that I'm worth it. 

I don't know why, but for some reason everyone I'm trying to become friends with all think I'm stupid. They all think they can boss me around and take advantage of me. It's quite exhausting


----------



## Heyyou

Listen, i may be on the edge of glory but if you think im going to spend it with you OR listening to this stupid Lady GaGa song then you are on the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the Edge, The Edge, THE EDGE.


----------



## penguin

One of these days I'll pay for a massage again.


----------



## mossystate

LOL


dotdotdot


----------



## Jess87

My floor lamp appears to have been the site of moth genocide.


----------



## Gingembre

"At night when the stars light up my room, I sit by myself, talking to the moon, trying to get to you. In hope you're on the other side, talking to me too."


----------



## spiritangel

cant help feeling somewhat flat and meh


----------



## KittyKitten

Is it wrong for me to say that I don't know most of the actors on the Movie/Actor/Movie thread?


----------



## Mathias

Um, hi. I have no idea who you are. :huh:


----------



## Heyyou

She hired a lawyer, and then I hired a lawyer, and my lawyer's better.


----------



## KittyKitten

I just ate a whole box of Mike and Ike's :happy:


----------



## spiritangel

universe would you stop pulling the rug out from under me


----------



## CastingPearls

Not getting too comfortable, nope.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

The reason slugs are not a delicacy is that they don't brine well.


----------



## penguin

Dare I try a DIY French manicure for the first time?


----------



## MattB

I wish the Simpsons went off the air 10 years ago, and this is one hell of a cookie...


----------



## Linda

Why am I so hungry today? Weird


----------



## Mathias

Opie: "Put your hands on the wheel."


----------



## spiritangel

sleep why did we have to become enemies again I was enjoying the friendship


----------



## Linda

Why is it so hard to let go of the past?


----------



## MattB

I need to build something this weekend.


----------



## Adamantoise

We built this city...
We built this city from LEGO bricks...


----------



## MattB

Isn't this everything you've always wanted?


----------



## CastingPearls

How much of human life is lost in waiting?


----------



## The Orange Mage

I miss my "bro," but are you even the same person anymore? D:


----------



## spiritangel

Getting ready to get loved sooo excited, hope you tour down this way I want to see you guys live again


----------



## Shosh

" I'm not sure when the starter gun is going off on dessert"


----------



## Linda

Time eases the pain but will never erase the memory Mom.


----------



## The Orange Mage

Whups, doesn't matter, not ready.


----------



## MattB

It's icky here today.


----------



## Linda

I don't think I like mac n cheese after all thank you.


----------



## Mathias

Power is not born of strength, but of hope that flies in the face of wretchedness and despair.


----------



## rockhound225

Someone of great strength can perform many tasks; someone with great patience can complete those tasks.


----------



## penguin

I need a caffeine IV today.


----------



## CastingPearls

The greatest gifts and fortunes cannot be seen.


----------



## Heyyou

CastingPearls said:


> How much of human life is lost in waiting?



1/3. We spend 33% of our lives, on average, asleep!


----------



## CastingPearls

Heyyou said:


> 1/3. We spend 33% of our lives, on average, asleep!


That's not waiting. That's recharging.


----------



## MattB

Nearly 20 years after finishing school, I still hate the night before the first day back...


----------



## one2one

The dinosaurs are extinct and have been replaced with fairy magic.


----------



## Heyyou

Do we look like package handlers to you, mayn?


----------



## spiritangel

omg sushi yummmm


----------



## CleverBomb

But what does the whipped cream represent, metaphorically?

-Rusty


----------



## Mathias

How about "hell no?" Is that clear enough for you?


----------



## spiritangel

I'm lost, clueless and no idea what to do next


----------



## MattB

I could NOT sleep last night...meh.


----------



## Heyyou

This post is from The *Devil* LOOK! It says Post 1,666.

(I sooo would have put the Cat pic "I have seen the end" pic, but idk i erred on side of caution there.)


----------



## Heyyou

Shoshie i sent you a friends request on Facebook.


----------



## rockhound225

If your canoe loses a while, how many pancakes does it take to roof a doghouse?


----------



## Heyyou

Extra ZDDP in every engine is just as important as taking a strong drink of whiskey every night to keep the wild elephants away.


----------



## russianrobot

-I'll fix myself a humble, simple shelter, Where Parasha and I can live in quiet-

Pushkin -1833


----------



## spiritangel

it is amazing how just a small conversation can lift the spirits plus you know its spring


----------



## Mishty

I feel like a dirty slut, and I like eeeet.


----------



## MattB

Skepticism means asking questions, not auto-debunking...


----------



## CleverBomb

The Northrop SM-62 Snark was a specialized intercontinental cruise missile with a W39 nuclear warhead operated by the U.S. Strategic Air Command from 1958 until 1961.

-Rusty


----------



## spiritangel

time to work on the things I can and keep chugging along


----------



## rockhound225

"We have these things, and they are powered by science." -- Robert, the theater's resident snarker.


----------



## snuggletiger

Take a tip from the Pearl Harbor Survivors, Get up, kick A**, conquer your enemy and live life, instead of whining for memorials and handouts.


----------



## joemurphy

My account can't be overdrawn, I still have checks...


----------



## SSBBW Katerina

This is why we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway.


----------



## Heyyou

When you hear this song and you sing along, well you'll never tell, and you're the fool, I'm just as well, hope it gives you hell.


----------



## Mishty

Yoga or French toast?


----------



## snuggletiger

is there powdered sugar on the french toast in large copious amounts?


----------



## Mishty

Caramel and cool whip, no sugar, okay maybe cinnamon sugar.


----------



## Heyyou

I am in Virginia right now, We ~60mi. away from NC.


----------



## genevathistime

I hope this brownie isn't tainted.


----------



## Heyyou

Georgia is pretty.


----------



## rockhound225

You'd better not be taping this!


----------



## snuggletiger

Shine this paranormal MOFO <rubs temples and squints eyes ala Charlton Heston>


----------



## Mishty

The decision not to use lube was the wrong one.


----------



## Heyyou

Oh great, i got some on the keyboard.


----------



## nettie

Oh, crap. I think I just agreed to do a polar plunge in February.


----------



## WVMountainrear

"You're the perfect little spoon to my big spoon." Awwww... :wubu:


----------



## spiritangel

I think things may just be turning around


----------



## NewfieGal

hmm random sentences what thoughts for the insomniac in me lol

It is what it is and it aint what it aint - NewfieGal

No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office." ~ George Bernard Shaw

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. ~ Jackie Gleason

When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because that Raid really doesn't taste that bad. ~ Janet Barber (this one hit my funny bone LOL)


----------



## spiritangel

I cannot believe I am blinging my behind


----------



## The Orange Mage

According to the zodiac (and personal preferences) I want a crabby* fat woman. :huh:

(* meaning a chubby lady whose sign is Cancer )


----------



## rockhound225

Life is not about getting your sh*t together, it's about getting it apart.


----------



## Heyyou

My old job wants me back A.S.A.P.!!!!


----------



## MattB

Hey, hey Cripple Creek ferry...

(Song stuck in my head...)


----------



## spiritangel

being a woman is far ouchier than it should be


----------



## Heyyou

My mom is an honorary complimentary Floridian for a day.


----------



## CleverBomb

Zeeky boogy doog.

-Rusty


----------



## Mishty

"There's a nut in my seat, near my crotch, I wanted to eat to eat it, but I farted."


----------



## Linda

I am not a blonde. lol


----------



## spiritangel

I hope you dont regret the drunken we are just friends text in the morning


----------



## Mathias

That was insane!


----------



## SSBBW Katerina

I miss having bedtime stories read to me.


----------



## MattB

You yelled...at her Momma?


----------



## Mishty

Why do you live so far away,you sexy bastard?


----------



## CastingPearls

Yay boobs!!!!!!


----------



## rockhound225

Enjoy yourself. This is of the utmost importance!


----------



## spiritangel

sleep why have we reached a parting of the ways again


----------



## CastingPearls

You'll never know unless you take a chance or you'll always wonder 'what if'.


----------



## Cors

I love my abs, pity they are fake and go away if I as much as drink a glass of water.


----------



## MattB

Dirty old river...must you keep rolling?


----------



## spiritangel

I wish I was a cold unfeeling bitch


----------



## Mishty

I never can resist a cream horn....or four.


----------



## penguin

My gaster is flabbered.


----------



## NewfieGal

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart


----------



## spiritangel

NewfieGal said:


> While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
> instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart



ty I truly needed the giggle wish I could rep you but have to spread my rep love around first


----------



## NewfieGal

I love a good random thought... glad I could give ya a giggle

Here's one more

Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They're going to see you naked anyway


----------



## spiritangel

lol especially atm 


I dont know if I am strong enough atm I think one more thing and I will fall completely to pieces


----------



## NewfieGal

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I'm glad at least I taught her Drop it and Leave it commands, but, I am so sad that I had to watch that poor little squirrel die...


----------



## Heyyou

*Greek accent* Yes, you dont like fish.


----------



## MattB

AbbaZabba?...you're my only friend...


----------



## NewfieGal

If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
-- Mary Engelbreit


----------



## Heyyou

Those must be confortable shoes.


----------



## NewfieGal

If you love someone, put their name in a circle, instead of a heart, because hearts can break, but circles go on forever.
-- Source Unknown

This quote was perfect seeing as I live in a town of 700

The nice part of living in a small town is that when I don't know what I'm doing, someone else does.


----------



## Heyyou

Knock-knock-knockin on heaven's dooo-oooowooo-ooooah.


----------



## CastingPearls

The lunatics are in charge of the asylum.


----------



## Heyyou

But if you lose, the Devil gets your soooooooooooooullllllllllll!


----------



## The Orange Mage

If there was ever a time for the old chest-nuzzle-plus-having-my-hair-played-with, holy hell is this it.


----------



## spiritangel

Distraction is the name of the game


----------



## Angel

It never seems like it at the time, but unanswered prayers can truly be a blessing in disguise. 

I now realise that.


----------



## snuggletiger

bye bye 9/11 celebrations. Find someone else to mooch money off of.


----------



## spiritangel

if you love someone set them free


----------



## rockhound225

Sometimes, love just really isn't enough...


----------



## biggirlsrock

I wanna do real bad things with you


----------



## Heyyou

I might sleep soon even though I am not tired.


----------



## Fuzzy

Way to go, Raiders! Janikowski kicks 63 yard field goal to tie the record!


----------



## spiritangel

avps done onto starship tonight yay


----------



## Heyyou

And it goes in one ear and right out the other, people talkin stuff and they can kiss the back of my hand.


----------



## snuggletiger

Being judged by unemployed people makes me laugh like Ricky Ricardo.


----------



## MattB

"Tell it like it is..."


----------



## NewfieGal

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?


----------



## MattB

My yard is white from a hailstorm, that was a wild 20 minutes...


----------



## Heyyou

Lucy, 'splain!


----------



## penguin

No one owes you a positive review, especially when your work is utter crap.


----------



## MattB

"Nothin' left to do but smile, smile, smile..."


----------



## Heyyou

You are outside of your mind right now.


----------



## spiritangel

wtf I woke up feeling like I have a hang over but I havent had alcahol in over a year


----------



## Mathias

You're really testing my patience right now...


----------



## MattB

Beets are the worst.


----------



## KittyKitten

Gawd, stop whining you old bastard!


----------



## Heyyou

On your knees, boy.


----------



## starr416

Whips and chains really do excite me :blush:


----------



## snuggletiger

I should have been a diplomat.


----------



## Linda

Why am I the biggest roadblock to my own happiness?


----------



## The Orange Mage

No need for me to step into the ring, Bro. I can hate that part of myself juuuuuust fine, myself.


----------



## CAMellie

Just DOOO EEEEEET...ya know ya wanna


----------



## Heyyou

You might not believe this, but i just went on State of FLorida website and ordered an ID in the mail that will be here in 7 to 10 days mailed straight to my house *mind blown* sigh of relief, going to Longhorns to celebrate.


----------



## CleverBomb

They seem pretty mysterious to me. 

-Rusty


----------



## NewfieGal

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.

~Helen Keller


----------



## WVMountainrear

When I'm not talking _to_ him, I feel myself wanting to talk _about_ him, which is either really pathetic or really sweet. (Or both, I guess.) :wubu:


----------



## Fuzzy

I saw 6 ATM's in an alley, killing a Job. It looked like a hate crime!


----------



## CAMellie

...and the beat goes on


----------



## MattB

That, was incredibly slow.


----------



## Jess87

There's no point in calling it a conversation if you're going to handle my half of the discussion too.


----------



## Heyyou

I need to get used to this "people think they know everything" trend.


----------



## CastingPearls

There's nothing random about your bullshit.


----------



## CAMellie

I love you...just...SO MUCH right now!!!


----------



## spiritangel

must chop wood and carry water


----------



## NewfieGal

Good things come to those who wait

Who came up with the load of BS LOL if that's the case Santa better get an extra sleigh this year cause i been good and i been waiting


----------



## CleverBomb

It would be like trying to convince the Japanese that they should surrender without an American soldier even setting foot on the home islands. Before August 6th, 1945, it would have been incomprehensible. After August 9th, it was inevitable. 

-Rusty


----------



## Heyyou

There is nothing impressive about your attempts to hi-five your buddies with incorrect, authorative-sounding words and sentences.They might not discriminate because of size but most are judgemental on every other aspect of someone. 
There is nothing random about your ignorance. 
I love me so much it cant be outdone. - heyyou *sigh*

I love you, too. Depending on whom im talking about.


----------



## spiritangel

ok heres hoping it works


----------



## Heyyou

YES! Epic success, i have just proven that WD40 -DOES- in fact kill roaches (and this shows that my housemates are idiots for suggesting that it does not, one less - eww, now TWO less roaches to bite me or crawl on me whilst i sleep!)


----------



## rockhound225

Reality makes for a crappy special effects crew...


----------



## CAMellie

I'm in your head...and boy is it empty


----------



## Heyyou

You finally said one thing that might be true, to a large extent lol.


----------



## CAMellie

This Big Cat just cut down a Big Rhino >=3


----------



## Heyyou

And what is that supposed to mean? :/

&#22826;&#26497;&#25331; &#22826;&#26497;&#25331; &#9829;


----------



## CAMellie

Lemon yogurt makes my mouth happy :happy:


----------



## CleverBomb

Ignorance is not an excuse. It’s a starting point for your apology.


----------



## Heyyou

I really have some haters on here, like, OMG!


----------



## CAMellie

I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.


----------



## NewfieGal

Why is it we can easily recall bad memories but not the good ones?


----------



## MattB

This is driving me absolutely batty!


----------



## Heyyou

Its probably me, i realize that, and i will do somethign unexpected and apologize and state that I was wrong, to many people.


----------



## spiritangel

36hrs I am so proud of me


----------



## biggirlsrock

The "Big 4" kicked my ass in Yankee Stadium yesterday!!!


----------



## Mishty

Jimmy Carter's musical fruit is making me angry.


----------



## Heyyou

And now, at 4:40AM-ish, i am awoken to my ass feeling wet, and i come to realize its because my house is flooding because the toilet is backing up so i got all my stuff out (whatever seemed valuable) and ill put up the video, man i need to move, i cant do this (sleeping on the floor on account of its the boiler room.) 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pltwnSMR8yU


----------



## penguin

Is wine o'clock!


----------



## spiritangel

my life is so exciting I am watching starkid and doing chores and its friday night :O


----------



## penguin

Wine + Star Trek TNG + Skype = A great Friday night.


----------



## rockhound225

It's my day off, so that must mean it's time to take care of all the yardwork my parents need done. Hooray.


----------



## CAMellie

I swear to gawd I think my sister can SMELL pain pills!


----------



## Heyyou

That scale arrived without incident, and without ridicule.

She liked, it too (I knew she would!) That makes my day.

So, all things considered.. i feel good about that. (Not sure what my detractors say, but, hey, if im correct, they will tell everybody but me.)

And guess what? Its their perogative. (Didnt expect me to say THAT, did you.)


----------



## CleverBomb

We're beating the ground next to a historical marker that reads, "Long ago, a horse died here."

-Rusty


----------



## MattB

Why did I leave the laundry for Saturday?


----------



## Heyyou

How DARE you question me you F-ing flatfoot!


----------



## MattB

"Helloooo Wes Mantooth..."


----------



## CastingPearls

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone ~ Neale Donald Walsch


----------



## Mathias

Do a barrel roll!


----------



## littlefairywren

There is a turkey in the garden and Mouse is salivating.


----------



## MattB

I'm craving a scary movie right now, and all I can find on TV is Shrek...


----------



## penguin

I've set my phasers to awesome.


----------



## spiritangel

nope my head is still reeling


----------



## Mathias

Not now, but soon.


----------



## Inhibited

I have no idea what the future holds..


----------



## spiritangel

why cant I clean and be creative in the same day


----------



## snuggletiger

For someone with a Masters Degree, its amazing how you have lost all ability to create a sentence or communicate in any manner that reflects some amount of rational thought. How you hope to attract a mate using hand gestures ala Helen Keller amazes me.


----------



## CAMellie

I had hoped it was over *sad sigh*


----------



## MattB

Don't say "si", say "oui"...


----------



## Heyyou

I think im going with the "Tuscan Six Cheese" tonight.


----------



## MattB

Too much, too soon...


----------



## CAMellie

And not a single fuck was given that day


----------



## danielson123

"Go get the Guinness Book of World Records and see who holds the record for most times getting fired." "I think that belongs to George Jetson."


----------



## rockhound225

"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."


----------



## Heyyou

For English, press one. _Para Espanol, marque el numero dos._


----------



## rellis10

A couple of years ago I sucked at dialogue.... right now I wish the narrative would write itself instead.


----------



## MattB

That, was a long drive...and now I'm sitting again.


----------



## Mathias

Oh, it's on now!


----------



## SerenityValkyrie

In 3rd grade, my Native American name was Butterfly Wings.


----------



## rellis10

Brain, get in gear already!


----------



## MattB

Yep, I'm going to hell for that one...


----------



## MattB

How would you explain a cellphone to a caveman?


----------



## 1love_emily

I miss Derek so much that my heart actually aches.


----------



## Shosh

If people have to talk about you all the time, you must be enchanting and unforgettable. :kiss2:


----------



## Heyyou

Its going to be 100 in San Antonio, TX today, but "only" 90 in Tampa, FL.


----------



## spiritangel

sometimes you have to put yourself first even at the expense of being seen to be nice.


----------



## CAMellie

Mmmmmm buffalo wings for breakfast :eat2:


----------



## CAMellie

It's like the world's most horrific train wreck...yet I can't look away


----------



## big_lad27

Up at 5am again for another 12 hour grind, best catch some zzz's


----------



## Heyyou

I rather like it when idiots try to make fun of me.


----------



## MattB

Dang I thought I was close to being finished, but now it looks like I just tagged another month on this project.


----------



## CastingPearls

I love it when idiots call other people idiots.


----------



## CAMellie

This damned having to spread rep around thing is pissing me off


----------



## TraciJo67

Not all attention is good attention. That is something that most children learn by the age of ... 2.


----------



## Heyyou

Im sensing an increase in the amount of idiots that get drawn to me like magnets and love to act intelligent.


----------



## Shosh

They also learn at 40+ not to be starting high schoolesque hate groups.


----------



## Heyyou

For anyone that watches House: "Be not afraid."


----------



## Heyyou

Love that chicken from Popeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyesss.


----------



## WVMountainrear

Miracle Whip is SO better on a sandwich than Mayonnaise.


----------



## lushluv

Well when you gettin got to somebody that got you and you got get them when you get them everyone gonna get got!


----------



## TraciJo67

One person's hate group, another person's parody of truly gauche behaviors. Meh. Hate is such a *strong* word.


----------



## Heyyou

What does "gauche" mean?


----------



## Mathias

Hello again old friend.


----------



## CastingPearls

What days have come to keep us far apart, A broken promise or a broken heart.


----------



## MattB

Approaching my 1000th Dims post makes me feel like I'm an old vampire in an Anne Rice novel (one of the good ones), except I'm still surrounded by more powerful, ancient beings...


----------



## Luv2BNaughty

lushluv said:


> Well when you gettin got to somebody that got you and you got get them when you get them everyone gonna get got!



I love Madea!


----------



## Chimpi

I lost the game.


----------



## CleverBomb

They're Justified and they're Ancient, and they drive an ice-cream van.

-Rusty


----------



## Heyyou

LOL is that Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure?


----------



## spiritangel

back to chore central


----------



## Heyyou

Yeah, so, please, for the love of everything in the universe, refrain from replicating.


----------



## CAMellie

He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.


----------



## Tkscz

My filthy bed gives me a rash, I never wash, I save my cash!


----------



## MattB

Kickin' it old school tonight at the game, going retro!


----------



## penguin

Beach beach beach.


----------



## CleverBomb

Heyyou said:


> LOL is that Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure?


It's from The KLF -- Justified and Ancient (Stand by the JAMMS)

Yes, Stadium House music featuring Tammy Wynette.

From 1991.

-Rusty


----------



## CastingPearls

'If you're only going away for a couple of days, why are you packing 24 bras and a tiara?' - Famous last words of my ex


----------



## CleverBomb

CastingPearls said:


> 'If you're only going away for a couple of days, why are you packing 24 bras and a tiara?' - Famous last words of my ex


You just never know when you'll need a tiara.

-Rusty


----------



## lushluv

Luv2BNaughty said:


> I love Madea!




I'm Madea! Ma to the damn D-E-A!


----------



## ButlerGirl09

I can't handle that level of crazy!


----------



## Luv2BNaughty

lushluv said:


> I'm Madea! Ma to the damn D-E-A!



lol I have decided to dress as Madea for Halloween. It falls on a Monday and we're dressing up at work. Gonna go all out too! So far, my hardest venture has been the glasses but I finally found a pair online for like $15 lol


----------



## Malarkey

I'm so full right now! I wonder if i'm the only one who thinks that stripping down to your knickers is.......Omg-is my puppy barfing?


----------



## Shosh

L'Shana Tova Tikatevu!


----------



## MattB

I'm still surprised at how many people prefer that I fax them...


----------



## spiritangel

darn you starkid now I am dying to try Red Vines!


----------



## Mishty

Drawl,belle,manners and muscadine wine.


----------



## yoopergirl

I think tomorrow will be a say-something hat day


----------



## snuggletiger

The thinly veiled back and forths make me chortle.


----------



## Heyyou

Shosh said:


> L'Shana Tova Tikatevu!



Happy Rosh Hashanah Shoshie!

Everybody in Florida is rude, in a weird and nice way. (I hung up the phone. Cant let that get me down.)


----------



## ScreamingChicken

Damn the torpedos, full speed ahead!


----------



## Heyyou

Food time!!!


----------



## The Orange Mage

Can we get a body count from the Dr. Oz-related threads? I think we have two down.


----------



## CAMellie

Pandora is the shizz!


----------



## MattB

"You cain't always git whatcha want..."


----------



## CastingPearls

Things are finally falling into place.


----------



## Chimpi

Everything In Its Right Place. Good song.


----------



## MattB

Warriors???...Come out and playyyyyyy....


----------



## Mathias

She has the face of a doll right down to the eyes. :wubu::smitten:


----------



## ButlerGirl09

Oh the things I'd love to do to him! Rawr! :blush:


----------



## Luv2BNaughty

CAMellie said:


> Pandora is the shizz!



Jango is better  No 40 hr/mo limit, no limited skips, and for free too  You can set up stations there just like you can Pandora. And they have an app as well.


----------



## NewfieGal

Sleep where are you, I've been looking for you all night...


----------



## yoopergirl

Hosting a baby shower is freakin' expensive...


----------



## Proner

Keeping the scruffles or not?


----------



## CAMellie

Behold, I stand at the door and knock.


----------



## Mishty

I just need to let a good scream out.


----------



## KittyKitten

Ah, never mind.


----------



## lushluv

Luv2BNaughty said:


> lol I have decided to dress as Madea for Halloween. It falls on a Monday and we're dressing up at work. Gonna go all out too! So far, my hardest venture has been the glasses but I finally found a pair online for like $15 lol



_Please_ post a pic.....lol You should send one to Tyler too.


----------



## WVMountainrear

I guess nine out of ten isn't bad; unless, of course, that one turns out to be the one that destroys it all.


----------



## CAMellie

Why yes...I WOULD like a day 'o sex! What? Deus ex? Well shit!


----------



## Forgotten_Futures

After the tests, there will be cake, and grief counseling.


----------



## The Orange Mage

Time to simplify things.


----------



## deadly-spaghetti-o

Effing camper! Ugh. I could seriously devour a fire breathing dragon right now...


----------



## spiritangel

Sometimes my sister is simply awesome then she forgets to say ty for pressies and its like umm hello


----------



## lushluv

Trust is earned not demanded.


----------



## Heyyou

Omg! Tomorrow is going to be so, so hectic im getting tired just thinking about it.........................................................................................


----------



## spiritangel

I love who I am even knowing I have so much more to learn and much more growing up to do.


----------



## Heyyou

I am finally coming into my own, and i need to thank absolutely everyone for playing a part.


----------



## CAMellie

Time slowed and reality bent; on and on the eggman went.


----------



## CastingPearls

'The flood may bear me far.' ~ Tennyson


----------



## CleverBomb

Should I be creeped out by getting a fortune cookie that did not contain a fortune?

-Rusty


----------



## Linda

Quit victimizing yourself before someone really makes you the victim.


----------



## CleverBomb

The world will neither end with a bang nor a whimper, but with a, "You've GOT to be kidding me..."

-Rusty


----------



## spiritangel

Starkid = cures all ills


----------



## CAMellie

Save a pretzel for the gas jets


----------



## spiritangel

wow the truth is out and not only does it hurt like hell its a total hollywood blockbuster


----------



## Heyyou

&#22826;&#26497;&#25331; &#22826;&#26497;&#25331; &#9829; &#9788;&#9562;&#9552;&#9552;&#9552;&#9552;&#9552;&#9552;&#9552;&#9552;&#9552;&#9552;&#9552;&#9552;&#9552;&#9552; &#22826;&#26497;&#25331; &#9829;


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I must admit I found one perk living near the largest college campus in the world - boys running shirtless.


----------



## MattB

So tell me, what have those eyes seen?


----------



## yoopergirl

Will there be cake, or will I have to kill someone?


----------



## spiritangel

A dark cloud has lifted and life is a blank canvas ready to be painted in glorious colours


----------



## lushluv

`No woman is required to build the world by destroying herself.`

Rabbi Sofer


----------



## CAMellie

Change isn't always for the better


----------



## MattB

What's better...to "party", or to "par-tay"?


----------



## CAMellie

Hamblor: God of Hamburgers


----------



## penguin

44160 stitches done, 1920 stitches to go.


----------



## spiritangel

Love this time of year.


----------



## yoopergirl

The Honey Badger don't care - the Honey Badger just takes what it wants.


----------



## snuggletiger

yoopergirl said:


> The Honey Badger don't care - the Honey Badger just takes what it wants.



Never met the honey badger. Wonder what the Penguin is stitching


----------



## CAMellie

Vista Waaayyyyyy


----------



## 1love_emily

Nap time makes Emily a happy college student. 

As do dark chocolate M&M's and cute texts from her boyfriend. :wubu:


----------



## Heyyou

I am on the ground in NYC - LGA LaGuardia, and it all came together perfect im on CLoud Nine Level 7 omg feels good.


----------



## penguin

snuggletiger said:


> Never met the honey badger. Wonder what the Penguin is stitching



This penguin is crocheting a blanket! Two rows to go!


----------



## snuggletiger

ooooooooooooooh post pix of completed blanket  plzkthxbye


----------



## penguin

snuggletiger said:


> ooooooooooooooh post pix of completed blanket  plzkthxbye



I have to put a backing onto it and that might take a bit longer, but I'll post it in the bbw hobbies/craft thread once I'm done


----------



## Heyyou

penguin said:


> I have to put a backing onto it and that might take a bit longer, but I'll post it in the bbw hobbies/craft thread once I'm done



Can you post a pic here too?


----------



## Heyyou

"You complete me."


----------



## Luv2BNaughty

FFS. That is all.


----------



## CAMellie

I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy :happy:


----------



## CastingPearls

Birds of a feather flock together and so do pigs and swine.


----------



## Heyyou

Ill have bacon on that Angus Mushroom and Swiss.


----------



## lushluv

Dont depend on other people as the source of your happiness or for approval.


----------



## MattB

C'mon, Get Happyyyyyy!


----------



## Heyyou

Thats the power of Mastercard.


----------



## CAMellie

Tai Pei brand microwave orange chicken is no bueno


----------



## Luv2BNaughty

CAMellie said:


> I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy :happy:



I love Finding Nemo!!


----------



## CAMellie

Luv2BNaughty said:


> I love Finding Nemo!!



Me too! It's my very favorite. Aladdin is a close second. :wubu:


----------



## Luv2BNaughty

CAMellie said:


> Me too! It's my very favorite. Aladdin is a close second. :wubu:



Ellen really makes that movie. As many times as I've seen it, I still laugh...especially at the 'Wow, I wish I could speak whale!' Every time! I'm a huge Pixar fan and Cars just blew me away, graphically. I was, for years, addicted to making signatures with picture tubes, and then pixel art, so when I watch those kinds of movies, it's the graphics I always spend the most attention on. 

As for my favorite animated film...The Nightmare Before Christmas!

nd for my randomness, I'm watching Friends..the one where everyone's late:

"Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!"


----------



## danielson123

*Pops head into Dims* :blink::huh: Maybe I'll give it another day or two...


----------



## ButlerGirl09

danielson123 said:


> *Pops head into Dims* :blink::huh: Maybe I'll give it another day or two...



Yeah or like a few weeks--Things are nutty around here!


----------



## spiritangel

I love new toys


----------



## MattB

My inability to sleep could be related to the ridiculous amount of time I spend on the internet...oh hey, I can post this in the "annoying" thread!


----------



## CAMellie

It's so stimulating being your hat.


----------



## Linda

How did that feel?


----------



## spiritangel

far to many choices I think my head will explode


----------



## KittyKitten

Crap, I burned my peanut butter/chocolate chip cookies in the oven!


----------



## CAMellie

earache + toothache = miserable me


----------



## yoopergirl

There's a squirrel in the parking lot - he's coming here - he's going to get drugs!


----------



## snuggletiger

Hunger stricken muppet makes me very sad.


----------



## MattB

Since I've started shaving my head, I've developed an irrational hatred of Superman.


----------



## penguin

MattB said:


> Since I've started shaving my head, I've developed an irrational hatred of Superman.



Calm down, Lex!


----------



## Luv2BNaughty

penguin said:


> Calm down, Lex!



*heheeeeeeeeee* (10 characters lol)


----------



## MattB

We all have our little faults, mine's in California.


----------



## spiritangel

Laughter bubbles up from within when you clear the baggage off your internal wellspring of happiness


----------



## CleverBomb

There were girls in the front, there were girls in the back
There were girls petting squirrels, there were squirrels doing crack.

-Rusty 
(lyrics from a band with a rude name)


----------



## CleverBomb

"It’s too easy to think that because you ARE working hard, the hard work is all that got you where you are."

-Rusty
(borrowed quote)


----------



## swamptoad

I like this random sentence:

I have found the paradox, that if you 
love until it hurts, there can be no more 
hurt, only more love. 

Quote from Daphne Rae


----------



## spiritangel

I love grocery day but my poor freezer is way to full not sure how I am gonna fit everything in...............


----------



## CleverBomb

What I need is a rare, vermillion, Ukrainian unicorn.

-Rusty
(Yes, this is sort of a cross-post from the "what are you listening to" thread.)


----------



## KittyKitten

What is it with the rise of indecent exposure crimes on this campus?


----------



## rockhound225

It never fails to amuse me to see that rooster chasing a squirrel through the park...


----------



## yoopergirl

Pop into "Pop Up Video"


----------



## lushluv

The person who only accepts friends without faults will never have any real friends.


----------



## Luv2BNaughty

I feel kinda guilty about that 'iDead' Steve Jobs tombstone joke I posted about a month or two ago on FB =/


----------



## DJBEATBOX2k3

I love driving a car that is sooo different from anything else on the road. (Mazda RX7 )


----------



## spiritangel

Caramello Nibbles you are my new Almond M&M's


----------



## MattB

That'll be someones screen name here shortly...


----------



## CAMellie

"There goes a stupid, stupid man."


----------



## CleverBomb

DJBEATBOX2k3 said:


> I love driving a car that is sooo different from anything else on the road. (Mazda RX7 )


The torque you have requested is not available at this time.
Please downshift two gears, floor it, and wait for the beep. 

9K redline FTW.
Smooth enough at redline that it actually needs an upshift alert? Priceless. 

-Rusty
(Still misses his RX-8 from time to time...)


----------



## KittyKitten

Have you noticed how most relationship advice columns/blogs/etc always focus on what is wrong with the woman and not the man and ask the women but not the man to change her ways?


----------



## swamptoad

The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer somebody else up. 

Mark Twain


----------



## spiritangel

you can choose to be right or you can choose to be kind


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

Removed because I was being hot headed. 

"this is not the post you're looking for . . . "


----------



## spiritangel

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> Removed because I was being hot headed.
> 
> "this is not the post you're looking for . . . "



gosh darn but this made me chuckle

and I am not allowed to rep you must spread it around sooo not fair ty you awesome man you!


----------



## yoopergirl

I wish I could afford a professional organizer.


----------



## CastingPearls

If someone listens, or stretches out a hand, or whispers a kind word of encouragement, or attempts to understand, extraordinary things begin to happen.


----------



## snuggletiger

64 degrees. Cold enough to look for earmuffs.


----------



## KittyKitten

Damn, I love Cream of Wheat!


----------



## seavixen

Vacuuming and washing dishes: the housework you actually appreciate doing when you're kind of cold but too cheap to turn on the heat.


----------



## Linda

I'm a little confused. Is this the fourth time?


----------



## swamptoad

I am going to completely and randomly write this sentence out.


----------



## Linda

swamptoad said:


> I am going to completely and randomly write this sentence out.



Well done. LOL


Time is not my friend when I am facing a deadline.


----------



## Lamia

Pansy the problem!! I must have fruit.


----------



## CleverBomb

Loan me a dragon, I wanna see space.

-Rusty


----------



## MattB

Gotta start looking for a sincere pumpkin patch soon...


----------



## yoopergirl

I can't believe I've never been to a "real" museum.


----------



## WVMountainrear

I wish I knew when the next time would be.


----------



## swamptoad

This sentence was edited earlier.


----------



## spiritangel

now your just somebody that I used to know somebody somebody somebody I used to know


----------



## swamptoad

this random sentence was brought to you with no capitalization at the very beginning and no period at the very end and is in no way of copying or mocking the previous poster plus i am not even using a comma where i need one at


----------



## MattB

That was a real sweet consolation prize...


----------



## swamptoad

This i my randomly unedited sentence ...I think. :doh: :huh:


----------



## swamptoad

I m essed up again.


----------



## spiritangel

remind me not to sing in here again!


----------



## rockhound225

Sing all you want, just no Disney or show tunes.


----------



## spiritangel

Teen Dramady 101: She will do to him what she has done to her ex, soon he will be the stalker she is talking to another guy about.


----------



## CAMellie

For the love of all that is holy, PLEASE make it stop!!!


----------



## MattB

Hoping for a weird night!


----------



## lushluv

Mama never said there would be days like this.


----------



## yoopergirl

Did You see his face? It's not there anymore, but did you see it?


----------



## lushluv

Everybody seems to have trust issues these days, perhaps if we had more people who stayed honest it wouldn't be this way.


----------



## CastingPearls

'You can tickle yourself on the roof of your mouth and behind your ballsack, well YOU can't, but still....'


----------



## CleverBomb

Everybody poops
And if they don't they're an android
And should be destroyed.

-Rusty
(Yes, on some level I'm still 5 years old....)


----------



## CAMellie

Is it because I'm Jewish? Because I would kill my rabbi with a pork chop to get with your sister.


----------



## MattB

Not as weird as I'd hoped, we'll see what we got later...


----------



## ButlerGirl09

Are you going to kiss me or not?!


----------



## spiritangel

Chore mode activated


----------



## Heyyou

Damn, my internet thingamajigger is slow.


----------



## CAMellie

Never eat a bunch of prunes just before going to bed...just sayin'


----------



## lushluv

Sometimes, as soon as we feel ourselves liking someone, we start looking for what we don't like.


----------



## MattB

It's a choice between Vegas Vacation and Raiders Of The Lost Ark.


----------



## CastingPearls

Be cool, kittycat!!!!


----------



## WVMountainrear

The dryer buzzed, the kitchen timer went off, and my cell phone rang all at the exact same time, and for a second I froze and didn't know what to do.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

ButlerGirl09 said:


> Are you going to kiss me or not?!



Let's do this!

This has been my phrase for the past week. I'm ready to do . . . EVERYTHING!

That includes YOU!


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

lovelylady78 said:


> The dryer buzzed, the kitchen timer went off, and my cell phone rang all at the exact same time, and for a second I froze and didn't know what to do.



NExt time call me, I'll walk you through it.


----------



## ButlerGirl09

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> Let's do this!
> 
> This has been my phrase for the past week. I'm ready to do . . . EVERYTHING!
> 
> That includes YOU!



Bahahaha Don't tempt me, mister! I can't make any promises to have self-control!


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

ButlerGirl09 said:


> Bahahaha Don't tempt me, mister! I can't make any promises to have self-control!



Let's do this! . . . :-D


----------



## ButlerGirl09

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> Let's do this! . . . :-D



A little less talk then and a lot more action!


----------



## WVMountainrear

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> NExt time call me, I'll walk you through it.



I couldn't call you...my phone was ringing!


----------



## spiritangel

The Love is gone.


----------



## Mishty

Paranoia strikes deep.....into yo' life it will creep.


----------



## penguin

Oh huzzah, it is DONE.


----------



## Shosh

Those brown cupboard doors in the kitchen have to go honey!


----------



## yoopergirl

This is my 100th post to the Dims boards.


----------



## MattB

I'm just delaying the inevitable.


----------



## Heyyou

I dont eat lizards.


----------



## lushluv

Even if you take a chance and it turns into a complete disaster it's better than spending a life on the sidelines. ~SW


----------



## CleverBomb

It's a violation of at least two treaties, decades of government policy, not to mention common sense, that's just waiting for someone to count backwards from ten then press this button. 

-Rusty


----------



## ButlerGirl09

Umm, you really don't get it, do you?!


----------



## Heyyou

$5. $5 Dollar. $5 Dollar Foot Long. (Any, Any.)


----------



## MattB

I'm puttin' the band back together.


----------



## Missbreeze

largenlovely said:


> that relates to what you are thinking at this moment yet has nothing to do with absolutely anything, yet you feel the need to get it out....go ahead...let 'er rip
> 
> I'll start....
> 
> This bra totally makes my boobs look awesome!!!



the best pot roast I have made in a long time... Oh so yummy. Yay me.:bow:


----------



## yoopergirl

If I could choose someone to narrate my life, it would most definitely be Morgan Freeman.


----------



## spiritangel

oh god I cant do my order yet till I know what she bought me for my birthday grrrrr


----------



## penguin

I dropped a snake into my cleavage. It was delicious.


----------



## spiritangel

OMG I forgot to order yummy stuff for my birthday on sunday


----------



## Heyyou

Oh well, hey, thats even better, screw the cashier.


----------



## spiritangel

I cannot wait for my lunch date on weds


----------



## snuggletiger

How do Roman Emperors fit into a Ren Faire? Btw I didn't see anyone with plague or smallpox while I was there.


----------



## yoopergirl

Putting me in a pool with a perky instructor at 5:30 a.m. is probably not a good idea.


----------



## CAMellie

In your wet dreams, assmunch


----------



## penguin

I am not a morning person today.


----------



## CleverBomb

Next year they'll have people portraying "Roman Emperors wearing Ancient Greek costumes," after that -- Mesopotamia, baby!

-Rusty
(Sets his watch back about a hundred thousand years)


----------



## Linda

Bite me!! Just effin bite me!!


----------



## spiritangel

A tv and faker live stream on a sydney radio station being up early rocks


----------



## MattB

This crystal lamp isn't working.


----------



## Chimpi

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! :blink:


----------



## Linda

Chimpi said:


> It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! :blink:



74 days to be exact. lol


----------



## rockhound225

"Push the button, Frank."


----------



## Linda

You are one hot mess.


----------



## AuntHen

rockhound225 said:


> "Push the button, Frank."



That sounds like MST3K to me


----------



## MattB

I never know how many pairs of socks to pack...


----------



## WVMountainrear

Just when I think you couldn't get any more irresistible, you taste like little chocolate donuts.


----------



## spiritangel

Omg I did it I got into Fort Knox


----------



## yoopergirl

I hate the Tigers so much right now.


----------



## littlefairywren

My tummy is gurgling it's hunger, and my fingers look decidedly tasty right now


----------



## Heyyou

I like that new picture


----------



## Heyyou

You look like Gene Simmons had sex with a Bassett hound.


----------



## CAMellie

You're proud of that? Seriously?!?!?:doh:


----------



## Heyyou

*door knocking**door knocking* Ohh, Alan Harper, i feel like a woman again!


----------



## lushluv

Don't let frost build up on your heart.


----------



## Linda

Who knew Marvin gaye and yogurt would be so memorable?


----------



## yoopergirl

"You may leave school, but it never leaves you." - Andy Partridge


----------



## Chimpi

Lieutenant Dan!


----------



## Heyyou

Walmart is the answer to, if not the cause of, all of life's problems.


----------



## Linda

My spidy sense is tingling.


----------



## snuggletiger

Greetings J. Jonah Jamison


----------



## Heyyou

If you have had surgery using transvaginal mesh, you may be at risk for serious complications.


----------



## snuggletiger

Honestly I don't know how you thought CARRIE with Sissy Spacek was a comedy.


----------



## MattB

This town smells weird....


----------



## Shosh

Thank you universe for my many blessings this week.


----------



## Linda

Why am I up this late?


----------



## swamptoad

That's what I wanted to know also.


----------



## yoopergirl

I'm gonna love you forever and ever. Amen.


----------



## Luv2BNaughty

All your base are belong to us.


----------



## CAMellie

I would willingly give 10 years of my life to the person that invents a way to strangle someone via internet.:doh:


----------



## CAMellie

Garth Brooks makes me feel funny in my special no-no place


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

1. I feel so lonely for the first time in years. 

2. I seriously, wanted to "ignore" you for the longest time, but I realize now that if I do that, I'll miss out on all of your shenanigans.


----------



## penguin

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> 1. I feel so lonely for the first time in years.
> 
> 2. I seriously, wanted to "ignore" you for the longest time, but I realize now that if I do that, I'll miss out on all of your shenanigans.



If you start ignoring me, there will be no more spankings.


----------



## CAMellie

penguin said:


> If you start ignoring me, there will be no more spankings.



Now why can't *I* get a beautiful message like that???


----------



## penguin

CAMellie said:


> Now why can't *I* get a beautiful message like that???



Spankings will continue around here until morale improves!


----------



## CastingPearls

penguin said:


> Spankings will continue around here until morale improves!


I've been VERY bad.


----------



## penguin

CastingPearls said:


> I've been VERY bad.



This is going to take me a while. I better get some back up.


----------



## CAMellie

penguin said:


> This is going to take me a while. I better get some back up.



...and handcuffs...and a riding crop..and...and...is it hot in here or is it just me?? :huh:


----------



## CastingPearls

A collar and a flogger could be useful too. 


*points if the flogger is made of red licorice whips*

**did she say 'whips'? Why YES she did!**


----------



## penguin

I have leather cuffs, a riding crop and Tim Tams. The line starts here --->


----------



## CastingPearls

<--------dibs on first.


----------



## MattB

My face hurts from fake-smiling.


----------



## Inhibited

you can do it.. your not going to mess it up this time..


----------



## Linda

Going down the only road I've ever known.


----------



## CAMellie

You're so cool, Brewster!


----------



## penguin

I am so freaking horny.


----------



## spiritangel

definately not enough flour hope it will still taste great though


----------



## Heyyou

Jiggle it, when you wiggle it (_It doesnt move_.)


----------



## Heyyou

Skylar was convicted of the murder of John and Toffee Hicks, and John Jarvey.


----------



## CAMellie

"What we were cast, costumed and choreographed to do. What we were blue-screened and digitized to do."






...Rifftrax makes me happy!


----------



## MattB

You have to have FAITH for that to work on me...


----------



## CAMellie

MattB said:


> You have to have FAITH for that to work on me...



Mister...Vincent...


----------



## yoopergirl

I don't really want $29 in credit...how 'bout you just give me my money back?


----------



## snuggletiger

maybe he bought something else with the money already?


----------



## rellis10

Fancy dining or rustic bar/restaurant? He arrives first or does she? At what point should it finish? I already know this story is going to kill me and I've barely started :doh:


----------



## Heyyou

B.A. Baracus, Ft. Benning, GA. I know who you are sir. I was Army Ranger too, well, i was before I was dishonorably discharged for some B******t.


----------



## penguin

Why has membership become a competition?


----------



## Heyyou

I wasnt "hiding behind the door."


----------



## CAMellie

"Semper Fi, motherfucker!"




I <3 Doom


----------



## Heyyou

Its a free market transaction between two consenting adults, whats the problem.


----------



## spiritangel

oh what a night


----------



## KittyKitten

I'm having a nostalgasm from watching the old theme song from reading rainbow on youtube.


----------



## yoopergirl

happyface83 said:


> I'm having a nostalgasm from watching the old theme song from reading rainbow on youtube.



I *loved* that show...*singing softly, so the boss can't hear* 
"_Butterfly in the sky, I can fly twice as high_..."


----------



## yoopergirl

Chlorine & cocoa butter make a very interesting scent...


----------



## AuntHen

That always makes me think of ...


----------



## Heyyou

Late december back in '63.


----------



## MattB

Oh please, make them stop soon...


----------



## CAMellie

PLAY ME WILL YOU???


----------



## CAMellie

I'm clearly too evolved for driving.


----------



## spacce

CAMellie said:


> I'm clearly too evolved for driving.


I like this statement.. 

and..
Its raining here.. I approve of this


----------



## Mathias

I slipped, tripped, busted my lip and fell in love...


----------



## MattB

"This is everything, you've ever wanted..."


----------



## Heyyou

(soulful singing) We, open doors then we close them.. quicker than the eyes of most.


----------



## CastingPearls

Peppermint gum makes me sneeze.


----------



## MaxArden

Penguins are practically Chickens


----------



## Linda

I feel 16 again.


----------



## penguin

MaxArden said:


> Penguins are practically Chickens



Are not! Well, this one isn't.


----------



## yoopergirl

Are you original, or extra crispy?


----------



## Mathias

Life's too short, I'm going for it!


----------



## rellis10

Pretty sure George Orwell never set one of his novels in Antarctica with a penguin as his main character....


----------



## lushluv

Never be afraid to give up what's not for you.


----------



## Linda

Not sure if your telling a lie or not and really don't care.


----------



## Jeeshcristina

Mmmmmm.enchiladas.....


----------



## Mathias

The only reason I haven't pranked you guys back is because the ideas I'm thinking of are considered felonies in this state.


----------



## CAMellie

I'm assuming that's a joke...I'm ignoring you for time reasons.


----------



## big_lad27

There's a moose loose in my hoose


----------



## WVMountainrear

&#9834;&#9835;&#9834;&#9835;&#9834;&#9835; "I brought these gifts for you, they're up in my bum." &#9834;&#9835;&#9834;&#9835;&#9834;&#9835;


----------



## CAMellie

I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.


----------



## CleverBomb

"I'm not a monster, Tom -- well, technically I am. I guess I am."

-Rusty


----------



## Heyyou

New Blog update, click the link in my siggy!


----------



## Dromond

THIS IS MADNESS!

obligatory lower case text


----------



## penguin

I'm starving....braaaaaaaaaaaaaainnns


----------



## CleverBomb

Dromond said:


> THIS IS MADNESS!
> 
> obligatory lower case text


Our house, in the middle of our street.

-Rusty


----------



## yoopergirl

Oh Alan Rickman, how I heart you and your sullen British-ness.


----------



## Dromond

CleverBomb said:


> Our house, in the middle of our street.
> 
> -Rusty



Thank you for not making a SPARTA!!! joke.


----------



## rellis10

The Plot Bunnies.... dear God they're everywhere!


----------



## Heyyou

Please pet the cats for me!


----------



## CAMellie

Glooom despaaair and agony on me...


----------



## lushluv

You can't force relationships to work, some people just aren't for you.


----------



## CAMellie

C'mere ya furry little bastard *snuggle snuggle snuggle*


----------



## HottiMegan

Lurr is my favorite secondary character.


----------



## Mathias

Oh my goodness... :smitten:


----------



## CAMellie

ALL our shows are secret shows.


----------



## Linda

When did Halloween become a holiday to stress over like Christmas and Thanksgiving? lol


----------



## spiritangel

oooh its soo cute and nice and lets me play games again


----------



## Surlysomething

*Rock over London, Rock on, Chicago*


----------



## snuggletiger

Hello Miracle Worker.


----------



## CleverBomb

Dromond said:


> Thank you for not making a SPARTA!!! joke.


I'm retro, but not THAT retro!

-Rusty


----------



## Linda

Just because you have fruit in a crystal bowl on your table in the middle of a filty and I mean filthy apartment you are not considered fancy lol


----------



## yoopergirl

You are the most infuriating couple I've ever met and I fear for the IQ of your future child.


----------



## Luv2BNaughty

I love Vince Vaughn. There isn't a movie he's in that I don't like and more often than not, only like because he's in it. He always makes me laugh.


----------



## penguin

Hellllllllllllllllooooooooooooooo me time!


----------



## CAMellie

M. Night Shimmymamalamalan


----------



## yoopergirl

Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.


----------



## KittyKitten

Oh, I am feeling so lethargic right now.


----------



## Heyyou

I'm always screaming my lungs out 'til my head starts spinning playing my songs is the way I cope with life Won't keep my voice down Know the words I speak are the thoughts I think out loud I like to keep things honest I'm a safe bet like your life's staked on it, for real I'd hate to keep you all wondering I'm constant like the seasons, I will never be forgotten man


----------



## snuggletiger

the sniffles make me feel like S**T. I want to go home and just sleep but I can't because I have a charity dinner to go to.


----------



## Heyyou

Imagine your oil filter like a doggie poop bag, and treat it the same way.


----------



## Linda

Trying to keep it all into perspective.


----------



## spacce

She's my Goddess :bow:


----------



## penguin

I'm your huckleberry.


----------



## Heyyou

Avatar, Epic Success! http://tinyurl.com/6g5fg9s


----------



## spiritangel

wow money vanishes quickly


----------



## Linda

Yay for delayed trips.


----------



## WVMountainrear

Where are you?


----------



## rellis10

Geothermal or cold fusion? I just can't decide


----------



## CAMellie

Watch...the sequel will have him fighting Apollo Creed.


----------



## HottiMegan

My head is really big and heavy..


----------



## The Orange Mage

No man is an island, but the place I live sure feels like one.


----------



## CleverBomb

Well, at least that's a different error message than last time. 

-Rusty


----------



## Linda

I think he channeled Linda Blair because I haven't seen that much projectile vomit in a very long time.


----------



## spiritangel

and the music goes round my head


----------



## yoopergirl

I'm blaming stores that already have Christmas displays for the fact that we have snow on the ground before Halloween.


----------



## Surlysomething

Don't forget the kids this Halloween.


----------



## CleverBomb

Rememember the reason for the season -- Keep the Ween in Halloween!

-Rusty


----------



## BBWbonnie

Aint nothing but a chicken wing unless its a turkey:eat1:


----------



## Mathias

Can I keep you?


----------



## CAMellie

Mathias said:


> Can I keep you?



:wubu:Casper:wubu:


----------



## Heyyou

Look what you did, you little jerk!


----------



## CastingPearls

I don't have faith in God but I DO have faith in booze.


----------



## Mathias

Oh, you aren't going to drink your tea? It's specialty. My special tea!


----------



## rellis10

"Bug Munching Ducks" :blink:


----------



## Linda

I really don't like Sundays.


----------



## CAMellie

Cowboys and anthrax. Achoo!


----------



## yoopergirl

It's just not the same if you don't get to throw hot dogs & rice at people.


----------



## spiritangel

eep time vanishing into the ethers again


----------



## ButlerGirl09

Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle YEAH!


----------



## CleverBomb

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but a little bit of copper wire worked where the pen did not. 

-Rusty


----------



## lushluv

It boggles the mind.


----------



## spiritangel

parcels feel like presents even if you have to buy the stuff yourself


----------



## Fatgirlfan

Never forgive a truly evil person.


----------



## Heyyou

I am too big for my kitchen!


----------



## Linda

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.


----------



## Heyyou

Kellie Kay is in Boson for the party, so treat her right Bostonians and you know who you are!!


----------



## CAMellie

Meh...Stephen King has made me jaded.


----------



## Heyyou

... Hmmm! My sister is talking about a $220,000 house! Where the F did SHE get money! ...................Dont get me started.


----------



## penguin

The Judgey McJudgersons are out being all judgey again.


----------



## Adamantoise

In Soviet Russia, bus runs for you.


----------



## Mathias

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.


----------



## Surlysomething

I feel much better today.

It must have something to do with Kim Kardashian getting divorced.


----------



## Heyyou

&#1090;&#1086;&#1083;&#1100;&#1082;&#1086; &#1079;&#1072;&#65279; &#1084;&#1091;&#1079;&#1099;&#1082;&#1091;

(Are you on the crack, boy?)


----------



## yoopergirl

If you met my family you would understand.


----------



## Linda

Yes Sir! :bow:


----------



## spiritangel

Appliance Killer on the loose


----------



## CleverBomb

Who knew you could get electronics accessories at a crafts store?

-Rusty


----------



## Shosh

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.


----------



## Jeeshcristina

Damn you auto correct; I meant understand, not incestuous.


----------



## CleverBomb

Nyan nyan nyan NyanDROID... yes, the Ice Cream Sandwich version of NyanCat.

-Rusty


----------



## spiritangel

oh my so much done yet so much to do


----------



## Mathias

I'm gonna need some help on this one...


----------



## Linda

I thought I heard you screaming.


----------



## Heyyou

She has no money, but she is buying a dishwasher.


----------



## CAMellie

I just wanna hot glue your fingers to your lips so you can't talk OR type!!


----------



## Heyyou

My sister's dog thinks i am stupid, she can keep on playing that role.


----------



## penguin

CAMellie said:


> I just wanna hot glue your fingers to your lips so you can't talk OR type!!



I'll buy the glue.


----------



## CastingPearls

I have a glue gun.


----------



## Heyyou

Obsessing over me again, friends? tsk-tsk.


----------



## CastingPearls

The ignore feature is a beautiful beautiful thing.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

My only concern in all this Kardashian divorce business is whether anyone is thinking about the welfare of the Bajorans?


----------



## penguin

CastingPearls said:


> The ignore feature is a beautiful beautiful thing.



If the ignore feature worked so that you didn't see them at all, it'd be wonderful. But since you still see that they've posted, I find it makes it more annoying. 



Admiral_Snackbar said:


> My only concern in all this Kardashian divorce business is whether anyone is thinking about the welfare of the Bajorans?



Because no one ever thinks of the Bajorans!


----------



## spiritangel

I am capable of putting out my own bins just because I live on my own does not mean I need a man to rescue me!


----------



## Shosh

spiritangel said:


> I am capable of putting out my own bins just because I live on my own does not mean I need a man to rescue me!



It is nice when a man puts out the bins though, that is a guy's job for real


----------



## Shosh

There is nothing that I cannot acheive if I put my mind, time, and effort into it.


----------



## spiritangel

Shosh said:


> It is nice when a man puts out the bins though, that is a guy's job for real



not if the man is a creepy old man who lives next door and bitches because I put them where I always do and he likes them elsewhere and also I haddnt filled one of them yet and had to trudge out into the rain like 3 times to put stuff in my bins plus I live on my own and I like being able to do stuff for myself if it was a boyfriend or some such different matter but this guy is a total creep who sneaks up on you he also does it because and he said this to shaylyn one day last year I put them out to late at night which is my right it is also my right to bring them in in my own time. Then he has the nerve to bitch about me to the other neighbour that lives on the other side of me. Shosh I have posted about this man before. And It is the first time in at least 2 months or more he has put my bins out as I have been doing it every week without fail. I hate being treated like a poor woman on her own but it is also stuff like feeling my clothes when they are on the line and then sneaking up to my back door and talking to me like I know hes there and telling me they are dry I also like my clothes to get a little sunlight and sometimes on a hot day will wait until the early evening to bring them in there is a history of total creepy behaviour with this guy I truly just want him to leave me alone bins and all.

PS sorry for the rant he just really annoys me. I told him off a while back and hoped that he would leave me alone but he doesn't seem to get the whole leave me alone vibe grrrrrrrrrrrr


----------



## Heyyou

Are you dressed in a thong and some weird hat made out of human skin or wearing gloves made from jello?


----------



## Surlysomething

spiritangel said:


> not if the man is a creepy old man who lives next door and bitches because I put them where I always do and he likes them elsewhere and also I haddnt filled one of them yet and had to trudge out into the rain like 3 times to put stuff in my bins plus I live on my own and I like being able to do stuff for myself if it was a boyfriend or some such different matter but this guy is a total creep who sneaks up on you he also does it because and he said this to shaylyn one day last year I put them out to late at night which is my right it is also my right to bring them in in my own time. Then he has the nerve to bitch about me to the other neighbour that lives on the other side of me. Shosh I have posted about this man before. And It is the first time in at least 2 months or more he has put my bins out as I have been doing it every week without fail. I hate being treated like a poor woman on her own but it is also stuff like feeling my clothes when they are on the line and then sneaking up to my back door and talking to me like I know hes there and telling me they are dry I also like my clothes to get a little sunlight and sometimes on a hot day will wait until the early evening to bring them in there is a history of total creepy behaviour with this guy I truly just want him to leave me alone bins and all.
> 
> PS sorry for the rant he just really annoys me. I told him off a while back and hoped that he would leave me alone but he doesn't seem to get the whole leave me alone vibe grrrrrrrrrrrr


 
You really need to use some punctuation. That was painful to read. Haha.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

I miss you :-(

This is intended for several people. So if you feel you've been absent, or just plain aren't in my life. This is for you.


----------



## Tad

I may have to break down and spend some dough to catch up to 21st century technology.


----------



## CAMellie

Mmmmm last night was so ama-...good gawd why do you look like Alfalfa?!?!


----------



## Surlysomething

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> I miss you :-(
> 
> This is intended for several people. So if you feel you've been absent, or just plain aren't in my life. This is for you.


 
I miss you too, Josie.

<3


----------



## Shosh

spiritangel said:


> not if the man is a creepy old man who lives next door and bitches because I put them where I always do and he likes them elsewhere and also I haddnt filled one of them yet and had to trudge out into the rain like 3 times to put stuff in my bins plus I live on my own and I like being able to do stuff for myself if it was a boyfriend or some such different matter but this guy is a total creep who sneaks up on you he also does it because and he said this to shaylyn one day last year I put them out to late at night which is my right it is also my right to bring them in in my own time. Then he has the nerve to bitch about me to the other neighbour that lives on the other side of me. Shosh I have posted about this man before. And It is the first time in at least 2 months or more he has put my bins out as I have been doing it every week without fail. I hate being treated like a poor woman on her own but it is also stuff like feeling my clothes when they are on the line and then sneaking up to my back door and talking to me like I know hes there and telling me they are dry I also like my clothes to get a little sunlight and sometimes on a hot day will wait until the early evening to bring them in there is a history of total creepy behaviour with this guy I truly just want him to leave me alone bins and all.
> 
> PS sorry for the rant he just really annoys me. I told him off a while back and hoped that he would leave me alone but he doesn't seem to get the whole leave me alone vibe grrrrrrrrrrrr



That is awful! Sorry to hear about that old creep.


----------



## danielson123

I just cracked my jaw by yawning.


----------



## WVMountainrear

If only he knew what I knew...


----------



## Mathias

Oh, you don't know the one who dreams of you at night, and longs to kiss your lips, and longs to hold you tight....


----------



## Heyyou

"Batman: The Dark Night Rises" was being filmed across the river in NYC this weekend (Christian Bale in da hizzouse!! - i think, idk if he is IN it! I think he is) and is being filmed in Newark NJ today - i hope they dont get shot.


----------



## CAMellie

Who you calling upidstay?


----------



## Mathias

CAMellie said:


> Who you calling upidstay?



No king, no king! Lalalalalala!


----------



## CastingPearls

The beatings will continue until morale improves.


----------



## CAMellie

Remember remember the fifth of November...


----------



## HottiMegan

I wonder if i'm nauseous from bleach fumes...


----------



## MattB

Gotta love important electronics crashing, right?


----------



## yoopergirl

I really wish they sold over-the-counter antibiotics.


----------



## spiritangel

sleep beckons at long last


----------



## Dromond

The Dimensions forum is not your Twitter feed.


----------



## nugget34

And your not a forum moderator


----------



## Dromond

No, but I am opinionated and well loved.


----------



## HottiMegan

So often you won't even notice it.


----------



## MattB

If I call you, at least have the decency to be home...


----------



## CastingPearls

Dromond said:


> No, but I am opinionated and well loved.


Yes and yes and YES.


----------



## Luv2BNaughty

smh. That is all.


----------



## Heyyou

Sons Of Anarchy is the best show in history, and anyone that saw what just happpened on the show agrees!


----------



## danielson123

Fuck. Golden Girls. I'll never get to sleep.


----------



## JenFromOC

You should have told me about my nose!


----------



## penguin

Well, that's a shit storm.


----------



## Luv2BNaughty

Touche. I feel like I warped into the fucking Twilight Zone this morning.


----------



## CAMellie

Boo-fuckin'-hoo...don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out


----------



## spiritangel

it is amazing how much space opens up when you actually have somewhere to put stuff


----------



## Mathias

So many rep worthy posts lately and I can't rep any of them.


----------



## Luv2BNaughty

CAMellie said:


> Boo-fuckin'-hoo...don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out



I'm sorry, is this for me?


----------



## HottiMegan

Cold feet and nose.. must finally be fall


----------



## CAMellie

Luv2BNaughty said:


> I'm sorry, is this for me?



Wait...what? No. If it was for you I would have addressed it as such. It was a random sentence.


----------



## Luv2BNaughty

CAMellie said:


> Wait...what? No. If it was for you I would have addressed it as such. It was a random sentence.



Ok. Well, with all the mess that's been going on in here lately, random hasn't been quite so 'random', as much as 'indirect thoughts', if you know what I mean. Which is why I asked. I was on a 'I miss things how they used to be' mode this morning  No disdain intended, I just wanted to see if maybe I had pissed someone off, unintentionally.


----------



## CAMellie

Luv2BNaughty said:


> Ok. Well, with all the mess that's been going on in here lately, random hasn't been quite so 'random', as much as 'indirect thoughts', if you know what I mean. Which is why I asked. I was on a 'I miss things how they used to be' mode this morning  No disdain intended, I just wanted to see if maybe I had pissed someone off, unintentionally.



Understandable. Things were rather topsy-turvy. Take it easy.


----------



## Jess87

Our mayor reminds me way too much of Lando Calrissian. It's always disappointing when he's on the news and it's not because he saved someone from a sarlacc. One day...


----------



## JenFromOC

OMG that feels so good.


----------



## Mathias

They're all the same...


----------



## Dromond

Ouch, that hurts. And not in a good way.


----------



## CAMellie

omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg


----------



## Linda

I am going to need a lot more lubrication for that.


----------



## yoopergirl

I think I'm in love with David Sedaris.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

I hope you enjoyed those pictures. I know you've been asking forever, but I just feel weird now.


----------



## CleverBomb

You get to play the "Girl Card" on this one, fair and square


-Rusty


----------



## JenFromOC

I am medicine and I am poison.


----------



## Linda

Your passive agressiveness on EVERYTHING is pushing me away.


----------



## CAMellie

We consummated the HELL out of our marriage!


----------



## Dromond

I should still be sleeping.


----------



## yoopergirl

Cats aren't very good at smothering people, but this won't stop them from trying.


----------



## Dromond

This new medication has VERY UNFORTUNATE side effects.


----------



## MattB

I earned this weekend, so why am I still bummed?


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Oh Riesling wine...how I have missed you...and I might be seeing you soon...


----------



## Linda

I am not going to beg if that's what your going for.


----------



## Mishty

I better be gettin' some major karma points for this.


----------



## MattB

Just when you think it couldn't get weirder...


----------



## spiritangel

maybe if I scrap it I can move on from it.............


----------



## Mathias

I'm burned out...


----------



## WVMountainrear

I'm losing my mind.


----------



## Mathias

That was awkward....


----------



## Linda

Where did I put my cheesehead? :doh:


----------



## vardon_grip

On in two and drained the eagle putt


----------



## PunkyGurly74

vardon_grip said:


> On in two and drained the eagle putt


 niceeeeee!


----------



## snuggletiger

You're a no talent until you play the Palace


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Pumpkin praline pie with caramel topping....


----------



## spacce

signing off..


----------



## Mathias

We need to get out of here before we all end up killing each other.


----------



## penguin

Sometimes I have no idea what I'm doing.


----------



## MattB

I have to kick Bishop Brennan up the arse...


----------



## spiritangel

eep overspent again damn once a year half price specials least my pantry will be well stocked


----------



## yoopergirl

I cannot be sick this weekend...too many kiddos to see for me to be quarantined!


----------



## WVMountainrear

"I always win, but I'm not competitive."


----------



## lostjacket

"Can we make the logo bigger?"


----------



## Linda

Your mistake is going to cause me a lot of time and money. Grrrr


----------



## penguin

Damn it, sunscreen, stay outta my eye.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

With all this media whoring about the Kardashians, does anyone pause to think of the atrocities they committed against all those poor Bajorans?


----------



## spiritangel

wow I know someone who is married to someone who knows the head honcho crazy world


----------



## Linda

I wish I could just stay in bed again today.


----------



## CAMellie

"I think I just shit my pants!"
"No...you always smell like that."


----------



## pegz

Really? Is that all you got?


----------



## Dromond

Ph'nglui Mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.


----------



## Linda

Where are you right now?


----------



## MattB

Someone tried to down-sell to me today, and it was awkward...


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Ohhhhh Drama Llama (hehehe) what a wicked web we weave ....


----------



## CAMellie

Three tits. Awesome.


----------



## lushluv

You can miss out on a good thing looking for a perfect thing.


----------



## CleverBomb

You're just being shrill.

-Rusty


----------



## spiritangel

I love feeling creative


----------



## Mathias

It's so much less tense now that he's gone home.


----------



## seavixen

I could go for a blanket and a cat right now.


----------



## littlefairywren

It's disgustingly hot and I just want to be naked. Bugger!


----------



## CAMellie

Destroy the beast...find the baby!


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Why can't I just put my fingers around your neck and choke you just until you turn blue???


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

I don't know how to do this without upsetting you.


----------



## rellis10

First time I've made Beef Stroganoff and everyone BUT me liked it


----------



## CleverBomb

My Little Panties: Undies are Magic.

-Rusty


----------



## shinyapple

CleverBomb said:


> My Little Panties: Undies are Magic.
> 
> -Rusty



I just got a mental image I didn't need at this hour, Rusty. Thanks! lol


----------



## ButlerGirl09

You're right--I don't give myself enough credit...


----------



## Jeeshcristina

Damn scantrons.


----------



## rellis10

Harry Potter meets Dracula meets.... awwww hell it's ripping off EVERYTHING.


----------



## MattB

What a draaaaaag it is gettin' old.


----------



## yoopergirl

Thanksgiving is a lot like Christmas except you don't get any presents for holding in all your familial rage.


----------



## CAMellie

Gonna grab my uterus and choke the bitch out!


----------



## ButlerGirl09

JC take a chill pill! Obsessive much?!


----------



## Linda

OK I don't know where that came from but that is just disgusting.


----------



## littlefairywren

I've been arrested, killed my horse, been bitten by the ugliest spider and I can't keep away.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Officer HAWTNESS, I wish you were single, however, the time I spend with you filing charges ....well gives me a *charge* ::giggles::


----------



## CastingPearls

This.vodka.is.AWESOME.


----------



## MattB

I hate setting an alarm before bed...


----------



## spiritangel

onwards and upwards


----------



## AuntHen

sometimes a lady needs to be wooed


----------



## KevinMichaelJohnson

why the hell was the VCR on when i woke up? havent touched it in years...


----------



## Mathias

I don't have time for this shit!


----------



## spiritangel

what am I doing up at 4am writing blog posts


----------



## WVMountainrear

I just want to feel like I'm wanted.


----------



## MattB

In the loop, out of the loop, I don't think I care anymore.


----------



## Jeeshcristina

These children are the best method of birth control ever.


----------



## rockhound225

Churchhill space ponies, I'm making gracy without the lumps!


----------



## Mathias

Just one more week, hang in there!


----------



## CleverBomb

Why is Boise?

-Rusty


----------



## MattB

Everybody's Hap-py Now-A-Days...


----------



## spacce

Darn that Samoflange!


----------



## CastingPearls

Yell at me all you want as long as you want; I still got my way so sucks to be you doesn't it?


----------



## MaxArden

Damned if I did or Damned if I didn't


----------



## CastingPearls

You have no one to blame but yourself.


----------



## HottiMegan

YAaaaawwwwwwwnnnnnn, i need a nap


----------



## AuntHen

Serenity Now!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## spiritangel

Haha beat you


----------



## CAMellie

Listen, shit kicker, you're about one cunt hair away from hillbilly heaven!


----------



## rellis10

"Love your enemies incase your friends turn out to be bastards" Lines like this are why I love Spooks


----------



## MattB

All we ever got was cold...


----------



## Linda

That was abrupt. lol


----------



## lushluv

If they don't believe that you love yourself enough to let them go then they'll never grow!


----------



## Surlysomething

I need an escape route.


----------



## Linda

Are you ever happy? Misery loves company I see.


----------



## MattB

True patriot love.


----------



## rellis10

Top of the rankings, Yay!


----------



## spiritangel

why when I do chores does everything seem to go to hell in a handbasket


----------



## PunkyGurly74

to the random hot-sounding guy on the phone tonight.....I hope you call back....


----------



## yoopergirl

"Leave it to the Catholics to destroy existence"...I love Kevin Smith


----------



## spiritangel

Hmm purple and black hands some days I think it is good I am single


----------



## Linda

Step parents need more child advocacy rights; even after a divorce. Ugh!


----------



## rockhound225

"This is the longest line I've ever been in... There's not even a roller coaster at the end, either, and we'll just lose money..."


----------



## MattB

Swamp Monster?


----------



## tigerlily

They were down to the last two last time I checked.


----------



## Linda

Today is going to be totally awkward, but that's never stopped me from doing the right thing before.


----------



## tigerlily

Knowing her the way that I did only made me want to use the ointment more.


----------



## CleverBomb

I think it was the cookies.

-Rusty


----------



## MattB

I am so weak, but it was a great deal I swear!!


----------



## CastingPearls

There was a time you'd let me know
What's real and going on below
But now you never show it to me do you?


----------



## WVMountainrear

If I could make a difference in one life, I'd want it to be yours.


----------



## CastingPearls

In spite of everything, I will never forget you and be grateful for all of it.


----------



## rellis10

"Congratulations, your testicles are yours to take home with you."


----------



## WVMountainrear

"He's on his tiptoes, you stupid whore."


----------



## CAMellie

WTF...are they waiting for all the beta testers to actually GRADUATE from Pottermore?!?!?!


----------



## vardon_grip

Sorry I pepper sprayed you, but I called "dibs" on that Xbox...whore.


----------



## littlefairywren

Yes, I appear docile. But you've hurt someone I love and the desire to rip your face off right now is incredibly strong. You suck big hairy balls.


----------



## Mathias

CAMellie said:


> WTF...are they waiting for all the beta testers to actually GRADUATE from Pottermore?!?!?!



Pottermore is becoming the next Google Plus. Gets an overhyped Beta release that lasts so long that no one will give a shit when it actually goes public.


----------



## penguin

I haven't logged into Pottermore in months. Whoops.


----------



## tigerlily

Believing it would help, he did not hesitate to swallow.


----------



## CleverBomb

I believe in ferries.

-Rusty


----------



## Linda

I hate back aches. PLEASE GO AWAY!


----------



## penguin

Oh, my bubble was burst.


----------



## tigerlily

Depeche Mode...What are you doing here?!!


----------



## Linda

What the hell do I pay you for?


----------



## CAMellie

santabot.com just scared the hell out of me


----------



## Dromond

It's raining AND snowing.


----------



## Surlysomething

I'm so relieved.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

Someone needs to try and convince me we're not living in one of those failed "beta" versions of the Matrix that the Architect told Neo about, because the people on this planet should not suck this much.


----------



## spacce

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> Someone needs to try and convince me we're not living in one of those failed "beta" versions of the Matrix that the Architect told Neo about, because the people on this planet should not suck this much.


I would but I would say there's not many republican coders out there lol


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

spacce said:


> I would but I would say there's not many republican coders out there lol



Neo: I know how to balance budgets.
Morpheus: Show me.


----------



## CleverBomb

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> Neo: I know how to balance budgets.
> Morpheus: Show me.


Whoa. I know macroeconomics.

-Rusty


----------



## pdgujer148

That said, the viciousness of the children was not necessarily predicated by Mme. Ostrangers peculiar notions regarding child rearing, but instead were bred into the bone from generations of similar brutish ancestral behaviors resulting in an atavistic imperative that no degree of social reform could ameliorate.


----------



## spiritangel

penguin said:


> I haven't logged into Pottermore in months. Whoops.



You know I think if you auctioned off your betta account you could make a tidy sum. I was thinking about this a couple of months back that there are people who would pay huge sums to get into pottermore


----------



## penguin

spiritangel said:


> You know I think if you auctioned off your betta account you could make a tidy sum. I was thinking about this a couple of months back that there are people who would pay huge sums to get into pottermore



Hah I totally should. I'm not using it. But I've been sorted into Hufflepuff, so whoever gets it would have to be happy with that


----------



## TwilightStarr

I've recently developed a crush on Bruno Mars and it is very unlike me! I usually go for big guys with shaved heads and facial hair! :smitten: lol


----------



## spacce

Just Because Youre Paranoid, Dont Mean Theyre Not After You


----------



## Surlysomething

I'm going to Chromeo you right out of my heart.


----------



## CAMellie

There really ARE some things that shouldn't be posted on a public forum...that was one of them


----------



## spiritangel

penguin said:


> Hah I totally should. I'm not using it. But I've been sorted into Hufflepuff, so whoever gets it would have to be happy with that



Huffie is such an underated house just because she doesnt add more into the main plot of the books. Huffies have more fun people without all the pressure to be a goody goody or brainiac and often if you show traits of two or more houses that is where they shove you. and lol at this point I think peeps so desperate they would snatch up a chance to just be on there



Meh so much work for such a small thing


----------



## CAMellie

Feels good to finally be there for someone who has always been there for me.


----------



## CastingPearls

It's sad to lose a friend but it's even sadder when they don't even realize they've lost you.


----------



## Linda

How did I become the official ice cream scooper at the hospital? lol


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

OK, when you're on top of a skyscraper and the giant spaceship hovering overhead opens and an intensely-bright laser-spear-of-death thingy emerges, you get the fuck off that rooftop, missy, because it's about to be on like Donkey Kong.


----------



## littlefairywren

I will never understand why it's so important to make others feel bad, or bring them down. Before opening your mouth, think how you would feel if you were shit on all the time. Life is too damn short to be perpetually miserable.


----------



## Surlysomething

Hey, I have a good idea.

Why don't we all hold hands, sing Kumbaya and then finish our night eating with a big batch of cookie dough 

I'll bring the smiles!


----------



## Sugar Magnolia

Squirting, spinning, bumping, having fun and being loud are highly encouraged!


----------



## Linda

It's snowing!!


----------



## spiritangel

I can't believe I broke not one but two of them


----------



## yoopergirl

I can't believe I only have a month left at this job...which means I have one month to find a new one...awesome.


----------



## rellis10

What's good for the Goose is good for the Gander


----------



## MattB

The waiting is the hardest part.


----------



## AmazingAmy

Pizza burn on the roof of my mouth is feeling RAW.


----------



## yoopergirl

Snow + flip flops = Brrr!


----------



## CAMellie

This cat really needs to stop trying to herd my husband.


----------



## Linda

Egyptian sheets....I think I love you!


----------



## rellis10

Bed?! At 10pm?! What's wrong with me?!


----------



## spiritangel

Yay it is 12 tags of Christmas time again


----------



## danielson123

rellis10 said:


> Bed?! At 10pm?! What's wrong with me?!



Last night it was 8 for me. I slept 13 hours. Am I depressed? Who's to say? I was just fucking tired.


----------



## CastingPearls

There's nothing random about love.


----------



## WVMountainrear

I can't wait to go to bed.

(Isn't that awful?)


----------



## spiritangel

Hurry up slow net I want to get loved!


----------



## CastingPearls

lovelylady78 said:


> I can't wait to go to bed.
> 
> (Isn't that awful?)


nope. so much good stuff happens in wonderful wonderful bed. including sleep.


----------



## WVMountainrear

CastingPearls said:


> nope. so much good stuff happens in wonderful wonderful bed. including sleep.



For the record, I was referring to wanting to go to sleep...which is why it's sad. It's been a long week.

...but I could definitely use some time in bed with HighAltitudeFA...not sleeping...


----------



## CastingPearls

lovelylady78 said:


> For the record, I was referring to wanting to go to sleep...which is why it's sad. It's been a long week.
> 
> ...but I could definitely use some time in bed with HighAltitudeFA...not sleeping...


I knew what you were referring to!!!


----------



## spiritangel

12 tags of christmas always seems to leave me needing more craft supplies


----------



## MattB

The moonbats are out in full force today.


----------



## CleverBomb

Immanentize the Wingularity!

-Rusty


----------



## tigerlily

I already tried the red kind and like I said, it repeats on me!


----------



## Surlysomething

When either of you eat, I want to stab myself in the jugular with a sharp pencil.


----------



## snuggletiger

I am always amazed at the critical tone unemployed moochers living on the charity of others take on a daily basis. The hypocracy is so obvious.


----------



## CAMellie

Where the hell is my damned spork?!?!?!


----------



## Linda

I get nervous every single time.


----------



## snuggletiger

I wonder if being able to imitate Curious George is a marketable quality to have?


----------



## Surlysomething

Stop hoping it's you.


----------



## CastingPearls

Hurt people hurt people.


----------



## CAMellie

Listen...do you smell something??


----------



## tigerlily

You'll never find us, because we'll just keep moving...from beach front house to beach front house to beach front house.


----------



## MattB

Silly rabbit...


----------



## rellis10

Download you slowcoach!


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I am soooooo utterly bored...le sigh..


----------



## MattB

When I was your age, television was called "books".


----------



## spiritangel

Hmm When did summer turn into winter, no wonder I have a cold.


----------



## Surlysomething

You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.


----------



## rellis10

I don't know when this will pass...


----------



## qwertyman173

spiritangel said:


> Hmm When did summer turn into winter, no wonder I have a cold.



Same to that, I keep thinking we'll get another patch of warm weather


----------



## ButlerGirl09

"Look how you want me now that I don't need you."


----------



## CAMellie

Even your "happy" announcements are depressing


----------



## Linda

I am so happy that I got out of bed today.


----------



## Surlysomething

That'll do, pig. 


That'll do.


----------



## Inhibited

2012, is going to be my year!


----------



## snuggletiger

Is it taco and siesta time yet?


----------



## CastingPearls

You let me complicate you; I've got no soul to sell.


----------



## rellis10

That was an awful choice of movie.


----------



## CAMellie

ohgodohgodohgod...it's OOZING!


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Ding dong the witch is temporarily disabled pending further review.. I think this calls for :: the happy booty dance ::


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Rain rain go away!!!


----------



## rellis10

"I am a man! I have a beard!"


----------



## CleverBomb

Yuroc indians. Yuroc. 

Yes, that is a real tribe.

-Rusty


----------



## CastingPearls

The baffled king composing Hallelujah.....


----------



## chicken legs

Fuuuuuuuuck, ignorance really is bliss, dammit.


----------



## spiritangel

Soooo tired darn cold


----------



## MattB

I'm ready to be done with 2011.


----------



## snuggletiger

Really lady I say this as a friend you have the appeal of stinky mucus. *Constanza gesture*


----------



## Linda

If you don't like doing it, why are you doing it?


----------



## MattB

Fresh-a-pepper?


----------



## Mathias

"The interesting thing is, he's the one of us that's NOT pissed off."


----------



## spiritangel

waiting waiting waiting


----------



## MzDeeZyre

You get what you give! 







Karma's a bitch isn't she.....


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Liar, liar pants on fire. Oh and btw ...you really are not that bright and just such a goober.


----------



## CAMellie

I am paying for yesterday's debauchery


----------



## rellis10

Were 4 days and 1 paycheck really worth this much trouble?


----------



## littlefairywren

I am totally enjoying our ''summer'' with it's completely weird cold temps. It's brilliant!


----------



## CAMellie

It hurt, but in a good way, so I kept going


----------



## CAMellie

Trying to watch fat lesbian porn with you and all you wanna do is criticize the dialogue???


----------



## one2one

If we all threw our problems in a pile and you saw everyone else's, you'd take yours back.


----------



## TwilightStarr

I am currently dying my hair with foam hairdye  

It was the only brand that had the exact color I wanted, deep cherry brown.

Hope it turns out okay!!


----------



## Mathias

Plan B? What the hell is Plan B?!


----------



## penguin

Setting myself on fire a little bit while making dinner definitely was not part of the plan.


----------



## CleverBomb

Placebos for delusions.

-Rusty


----------



## yoopergirl

That makes my soul cry.


----------



## spiritangel

I know I am being a bit naughty but I am not giving up on 12 tags of christmas just cause net is costing extra atm


----------



## Shosh

CAMellie said:


> Trying to watch fat lesbian porn with you and all you wanna do is criticize the dialogue???



There is dialogue in porn?


----------



## chicken legs

My male hamster got chunky.


----------



## rellis10

Are you trying to eat your hand or what? There's no reason your finger should be in your mouth that long.


----------



## CleverBomb

He brought unexpected depth to his portrayal of the pizza delivery guy.

-Rusty


----------



## spiritangel

yumm yumm nana bread for my tum


----------



## rellis10

"Work banishes those three great evils; boredom, vice, and poverty"

Boredom and poverty perhaps.... but I think having money does anything but banish vice


----------



## CAMellie

What do we want? Impatience!
When do we - NOW!!!

What do we want? Apathy?
When do we want it? We really don't give a shit!


----------



## spiritangel

so over this cold


----------



## Weirdo890

Jack Frost can kiss my black ass.


----------



## Mathias

What a fun night this has been. And yet.... it's still young.


----------



## CastingPearls

Obviously you haven't read 'How to Win Friends and Influence Strangers' have you?


----------



## Mathias

What the hell's going on over there?


----------



## Shosh

So very grateful for my many abundant blessings.


----------



## CAMellie

Welcome to escrow, bitches!


----------



## lushluv

It _has_ to get better.


----------



## Surlysomething

I miss the laughter the most.


----------



## spiritangel

next time check for non drowsy this is crazy


----------



## Aust99

3 and a half more days and their not mine any more...  But yay holidays!!!


----------



## MattB

Home sweet freakin' home again...


----------



## chicken legs

I want the free gelding.


----------



## Surlysomething

Try and keep it together.


----------



## littlefairywren

One baby brown snake in the garden means there must be more baby brown snakes in the garden


----------



## Weirdo890

I don't wanna hurt no birds. I like birds.


----------



## Anjula

Witcher is the best book I've read in quite some time.


----------



## rellis10

BNAG! That's bang out of order!


----------



## spiritangel

I can't believe it's only 8cm


----------



## J34

- "just be yourself. You'll save a lot of time , money, and energy by not trying to seem better than you really are."


----------



## Jeeshcristina

No Mufasa, don't let go!


----------



## CAMellie

_The Help_ made me cry like a baby


----------



## Linda

I think my sarcasm detector is broken on you


----------



## Mathias

Listening to certain music while having Rainymood open makes it seem so much better.


----------



## spiritangel

Yes I shall Name him Tim


----------



## Mathias

I wish Gunslinger Girl had been from from Rico's perspective rather than Henrietta's.


----------



## CleverBomb

Those can be added later on an ad-hoc basis .


----------



## rellis10

"Deduction my dead Watson"


----------



## MattB

Me no good with change...


----------



## WVMountainrear

Just do it already.


----------



## spiritangel

Ick I hate this cold and why is christmas groceries so expensive


----------



## Adamantoise

I can't believe that I left my damned inhaler at home. I could've used it when I arrived at work! :doh:


----------



## BBWbonnie

I wana wagga wagga you in a dish cloth while you are looking all wevil


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

A white knight wearing black? What would your noble steed think?


----------



## CAMellie

I feel as though I've lost my muchness.


----------



## Linda

I am actually looking forward to shopping for once.


----------



## MattB

Lately it seems like no one is as excited as I am.


----------



## danielson123

Do they even make regular, original single stuffed Oreo's anymore? I know I'd never get them.


----------



## Deven

I want to go up to a Westboro Baptist Church member and ask if they follow the diet in Leviticus...


----------



## CAMellie

Burn in hell, Lara Croft...BURN IN HELLLLLLLLL


----------



## Dromond

Christmas will be both good and bad this year.


----------



## CleverBomb

And one other thing -- the pressure to put on weight is the reason we've got the red sweatsuits.

-Rusty


----------



## CastingPearls

I have nothing left to fear, nothing left to hold me here.


----------



## spiritangel

We ell that was a blast from the Past


----------



## penguin

Hey, Mr Sandman? I think you missed a spot.


----------



## MattB

Universes are colliding as we speak.


----------



## Mathias

Now I know why everyone says they have trouble making it through the first 10 minutes of Up. :really sad:


----------



## CastingPearls

I think you missed a thread.


----------



## chicken legs

I need a eucalyptus rub down but I chickened out when he came out.


----------



## MattB

Where did I put that muse?


----------



## chicken legs

He looks like a dark haired BHM version of Bradley Cooper.


----------



## spiritangel

meh thats chrissy money spent or more correctly paying back my sister


----------



## rellis10

Imagination is a very good thing.... use it once in a while!


----------



## Surlysomething

You look like a possum.


----------



## rellis10

I'm glad I ate my underpants otherwise I'd need to change them


----------



## Jeeshcristina

rellis10 said:


> I'm glad I ate my underpants otherwise I'd need to change them



This is quite random, and hilarious!


----------



## CAMellie

Christina Aguilera in her "Dirrty" phase + Jersey Shore without the alcohol = My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding


----------



## TwilightStarr

I hate being sick and I love the movie "The Family Stone"


----------



## AuntHen

Summer of George!!


----------



## spiritangel

yes I think Yum cha for lunch and fish for dinner most definately


----------



## Surlysomething

I love him. So very much.


----------



## spiritangel

I feel so very spoilt and well loved


----------



## WVMountainrear

Fluffy can't go on vacation with us!


----------



## Mathias

I can see why my friend is mad at you now. You say and do crazy shit just to get a rise out of everyone around you.


----------



## Aust99

Stop it!!! Your being so sneaky about it too....


----------



## spiritangel

you can never go wrong with craft supplies


----------



## Your Plump Princess

She's such a craft-whiz! I swear any crafty outlet she explores she excels at, and I'm _soo_ jealous.


----------



## MattB

It's too early to be in a good mood, but why not?


----------



## snuggletiger

That kids' name is Malsuert. After you meet the mother the name just comes to you.


----------



## spiritangel

name the poor kid tyson give your kids bratty names get bratty kids don't whinge to me about it


----------



## Mathias

"Stoop Kid's afraid to leave his stoop!"


----------



## Your Plump Princess

...Moving, for .. me?


----------



## yoopergirl

I'm definitely going to miss working here.


----------



## chicken legs

Totally made a fool of myself but all the old feelings came back.


----------



## CAMellie

Adrian called me "flaco" at lunch today! LMAO

it means skinny *snicker*


----------



## WVMountainrear

"You can't fuck Mother Theresa!"


----------



## spiritangel

CAMellie said:


> Adrian called me "flaco" at lunch today! LMAO
> 
> it means skinny *snicker*



see I hear that word and think Flacco from the Doug Anthony All Stars series and shows


----------



## Linda

Please do not stare at me on Saturday and act like your giving me a concert for one. It creeps me out.


----------



## penguin

spiritangel said:


> see I hear that word and think Flacco from the Doug Anthony All Stars series and shows



Me too! I was sure she didn't mean that, but it still brought him to mind.


----------



## Mathias

I thought "limited commercial interruption" actually MEANT limited commercial interruption.


----------



## CleverBomb

Ok, so it's going to need a little work. 

-Rusty


----------



## spiritangel

penguin said:


> Me too! I was sure she didn't mean that, but it still brought him to mind.



oh thank goodness I am not the only one who got that nice to see another DAAS Fan about


don't quote my blog back to me if you want to know something ffs just freaking ask


----------



## snuggletiger

Remember chump christmas gifts should come from the heart.


----------



## TwilightStarr

I Hate Drugs!!!


----------



## penguin

Is it possible to have made too many cookies?


----------



## CAMellie

penguin said:


> Is it possible to have made too many cookies?



YES! I shall PM you my address so you can send me the extras for disposal


----------



## CleverBomb

Scratch that. It's going to to need a LOT of work. 

-Rusty


----------



## spiritangel

please let sleep come early tonight or tomorrow will be hell


----------



## MattB

And now, for that Tweety sandwich I've been dreaming of...


----------



## LeoGibson

Yes, I still have a couple bags of lime left over from the last time.


----------



## TwilightStarr

Deep down inside me there is a 1950's housewife and she is slowly making her way out! She will eventually win the war and I will be wearing hills and pearls! I can't wait!


----------



## rellis10

I won't need to buy any deoderant or shower gel for a little while


----------



## CAMellie

"Oh look he has my smile."
"You're holding him upside down, momma."


----------



## Linda

What a freakin mess!


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.


----------



## spiritangel

I slept how is it I am still soooo tired


----------



## Mathias

Hahahahahaha..... :happy:


----------



## Linda

I fixed it! And I didn't have crack showing either! :happy:


----------



## rellis10

Roast pork, crackling, roast beef, potatoes, pickled red cabbage, apple crumble, custard, mince pies and ice cream... If Christmas was every day I'd die of overindulgence by March.


----------



## MattB

Boredom will not win.


----------



## spiritangel

darn it the one day I actually sleep and sleep in I missed it grrrrrrrrrrrrr


----------



## Miskatonic

I wonder why more people don't listen to Bloodbath...


----------



## penguin

The waiting game isn't a fun game.


----------



## MzDeeZyre

I am the luckiest girl in the world!!!


----------



## Mathias

Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wright's made a plane.


----------



## CAMellie

Frying pans! Who knew, right?


----------



## MattB

Up all night, ooooooooooh stayin' up all night!


----------



## Linda

Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!


----------



## rellis10

Strawberry and Cream cheese? Yes please!


----------



## spiritangel

Creative mode engaged


----------



## CastingPearls

After 15 years of back and forth, I think we both know it's been long long over but thanks for the phone calls, comments, and pizza. (In fact, keep the pizza coming and DO NOT POST ON MY WALL)


----------



## MattB

Chill winds a comin', wishing I could hibernate...


----------



## WVMountainrear

When sending someone a text asking if they'd like to come and play with your Count, be particularly cautious to avoid typos that may cause embarassing misunderstandings.


----------



## CastingPearls

Just for the music alone, it was worth it, but it wasn't just for the music.


----------



## Mathias

The A.I caught me while I was reloading.


----------



## MattB

First beardsicle of the season.


----------



## spiritangel

since when is a macadamia anywhere near caramel in terms of substitution I mean praline perhaps or another soft filling but macadamia hmmmm


----------



## Sweetie

Skippy...where the heck did you hide your leash???!!!!


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

If the next step up from a douchebag is a douche canoe, is it possible to go full-on Douchetanic?


----------



## Lamia

Pansy the problem! I must have fruit.


----------



## MattB

She's in parties, it's in the can...


----------



## spiritangel

It feels so great to catch up with you I really miss our crafty chats


----------



## CleverBomb

We are no monsters -- we're moral people -- and yet we have the strength to do this. 

-Rusty


----------



## Linda

Really? For a first date you chose the movie "No Stings Attached"? :doh:


----------



## CleverBomb

This dead horse ain't gonna beat itself, you know. 

- Rusty


----------



## spiritangel

soo over this runny nose freaking antihistamines do your damn job!!


----------



## CAMellie

I find your childishness tonight both baffling...and rather amusing


----------



## Mathias

I asked a Frenchman if he played videogames and he said, "Wii!"

/rimshot


----------



## danielson123

As if I wasn't already completely wasting my life already: Along comes Reddit.


----------



## spiritangel

NYE Day already how did you sneak up so fast?


----------



## MattB

Oh Captain, My Captain! :bow:


----------



## rockhound225

"Aw come on! Yur killin' me, Smalls!"


----------



## CAMellie

*tap tap* Is this damned thing on?!?!


----------



## CleverBomb

My laptop is bulletproof, not fireproof!

-Rusty
(needs a new MacBook battery -- no, it didn't blow up, but that was too close for comfort!)


----------



## chicken legs

I can't believe your sterilized ass wrote a children's book because you care about kids "who can't read good".


----------



## Linda

I just don't even know what to think. Ridiculous.


----------



## AuntHen

Can't never could do ANYTHING!!


----------



## Dromond

And then it got worse.


----------



## LeoGibson

The world needs ditch diggers too you know.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

Dude's so fucking creepy he'd make the bad guy from Saw shit himself.


----------



## CAMellie

Your smiling passive-aggressiveness just makes you come across as a douche


----------



## Linda

I sure hope that all of those text messages you sent are still in your phone when you wake up hung over in the morning dousche.


----------



## Timberwolf

Looks like the electrician had a bad hair day...


----------



## Sweetie

Would somebody please tell the Tidy Bowl Man to keep it down in there????


----------



## CleverBomb

I hope the Mayans downloaded the patch for their stone calendars. 

-Rusty 
Otherwise, they'll end up ...
<puts on sunglasses>
...bricked.


----------



## Timberwolf

I'm sooooo tired. :yawn:


----------



## rellis10

Allow me to lend a machete to your intellectual thicket...


----------



## Mathias

I'm never drinking again...


----------



## WVMountainrear

"It's like banging a tennis call against a brick wall..."


----------



## Linda

I hate my phone!!!!!!!!!!! lol


----------



## Sweetie

Bacon wrapped fillet mignon...yummm....I think...never had it before...hmmmm


----------



## CAMellie

You'd make me laugh if I didn't already want to punch you in the face


----------



## pegz

succulent...rich...intense...delightful...mmmm


----------



## Dromond

Stop the world, I want to get off.


----------



## spiritangel

I can not believe between you and your company pay pal you got over $60 in fees so you get to double dip and I lose money oh joy


----------



## AuntHen

I want a Chai Latte (Breve) NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## rockhound225

Dollar Pint Night!


----------



## Linda

Now that was good. :eat2:


----------



## CAMellie

You're shitting me, right?


----------



## Aust99

So completely satisfied!!!


----------



## CleverBomb

We will be closed on Monday, January 2nd, for New Year's Day.

-Rusty


----------



## spiritangel

blue hands hmm and I am not a smurf


----------



## Timberwolf

Sleeping in a chair can cause headaches...


----------



## Linda

I can play it cool and laid back too.


----------



## CAMellie

Do I have cooties or something? Fuck y'all too!


----------



## WVMountainrear

*sigh*....


----------



## MattB

lovelylady78 said:


> *sigh*....



Yes indeedy...


----------



## pegz

Now I feel like a hot potato...


----------



## Timberwolf

It takes little to cause chaos...


----------



## AuntHen

I want pancakes!


----------



## Dromond

It isn't as bad as I thought, but it's still bad.


----------



## WVMountainrear

Who's your Mountain Momma?! 

(Let's GOOOO Mountaineers!!)


----------



## spiritangel

awww bum I did not get it


----------



## Mathias

The Mountaineers are killing it right now!


----------



## CAMellie

I'm gonna dye my hair...purple, blue, or pink? Whaddya think?


----------



## CleverBomb

Fortunately, my car has astoundingly effective brakes. 

-Rusty


----------



## Mathias

I wonder if anyone has ever told her that she looks almost exactly like the real life version of Princess Peach?


----------



## penguin

Itchy nipples are the devil's work.


----------



## Inhibited

I think i can, I think i can ..


----------



## LeoGibson

...and the horse you rode in on.


----------



## CAMellie

I would honestly be surprised if your vag WASN'T crawling with a variety of STDs


----------



## rockhound225

I weighed the options and the odds of survival against death, and well.. let's just say statistics was never exactly my strong suit...


----------



## rellis10

Words are meagre things, sometimes they fall short.


----------



## Mathias

Ok, I get you hate Jersey Shore so quit blowing up my damn newsfeed about it.


----------



## CastingPearls

Mathias said:


> Ok, I get you hate Jersey Shore so quit blowing up my damn newsfeed about it.


If you run your cursor over their name you can remove them from your feed. Also unsubscribe. It helps. A lot.

When they switched the new format, whether you have the timeline or not (you'll have no choice by the end of the month) you were subscribed to all your friends feeds automatically. The only way to not get their 'this is my status, someone answer me' status' is to unsubscribe.


----------



## Surlysomething

Back to feeling stupid and sad.


----------



## CastingPearls

It good to want things; people in hell want ice water.


----------



## Mathias

CastingPearls said:


> If you run your cursor over their name you can remove them from your feed. Also unsubscribe. It helps. A lot.
> 
> When they switched the new format, whether you have the timeline or not (you'll have no choice by the end of the month) you were subscribed to all your friends feeds automatically. The only way to not get their 'this is my status, someone answer me' status' is to unsubscribe.



Didn't know that. Thanks for the tip!


----------



## MattB

Ever feel like you just slept for a million years?


----------



## rellis10

Just.... score already! :doh:


----------



## rockhound225

Gretzky has the ball...


----------



## CleverBomb

Jesus Saves! 
Passes to Gretzky... Gretsky SCORES!

-Rusty


----------



## Your Plump Princess

How do I tell her I don't think I can handle such an honor? Damn my lack of organizational and proper social skills!

(Lol okay so it's two, so sue me. xD)


----------



## rellis10

Farewell 'blue and white checked shirt', you will be missed.


----------



## cheesylier

Each day a different city


----------



## Dromond

So what's your point?


----------



## CAMellie

PLEASE make the pain go away


----------



## AuntHen

I have the map.


----------



## MattB

This powerplay is a disaster.


----------



## spiritangel

can hayfever season go away already


----------



## WVMountainrear

This calls for donuts...and milk.


----------



## penguin

I'm melting! I'm mellllltiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!


----------



## penguin

Arrr there be treasure in my freezer - frozen grapes!! :eat2: :wubu:


----------



## rellis10

I could put strychnine in the guacamole....


----------



## spiritangel

oh my what a non stop day


----------



## TwilightStarr

My neighbor moved out and took her 2 bebe's kids with her which I appreciate but I she also took her wifi that I have been using for 2 years!! 

So glad to have my internets back!! I've missed all my Dimmers!!!


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Thank you Maintenance guys for fixing my bed while you were here fixing all that other stuff...wheeeeeeeeee!!!!


----------



## danielson123

22 hours playing Pokemon since Saturday; that can't be good.


----------



## spiritangel

pastels, bears and bling oh my


----------



## rellis10

Ok.... it was actually quite good


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Help wanted: bed tester - now taking applications


----------



## danielson123

Somebody call my mama


----------



## CleverBomb

So, I'm apparently not here. 

-Rusty


----------



## Lovelyone

Wow, John Malkovich got OLD.


----------



## CAMellie

I really enjoyed Rise of the Planet of the Apes....there...I said it!


----------



## rellis10

How the hell do you hurt your hand in a job interview? :doh:


----------



## littlefairywren

Make the choice to be happy and let the anger and negativity go. Bitterness breeds in the heart and mind.


----------



## rellis10

Somebody Call My Mama!


----------



## spiritangel

you may see my weight as my biggest problem but at pressent you are my biggest problem


----------



## Lovelyone

Why do I love Sheldon so much?


----------



## danielson123

I'm watching sumo; I'm fascinated.


----------



## CastingPearls

A loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of buttah.


----------



## MattB

The bus came by and I got on, that's when it all began...


----------



## CAMellie

Lovelyone said:


> Why do I love Sheldon so much?



Because he's just so AWESOME!!!


----------



## CAMellie

We're here to see Koothrappali not kill Batman


----------



## Lovelyone

Love me some quotable quotes.


----------



## Jess87

My feet are apparently very talented in finding lost tacks.


----------



## CleverBomb

Well, that was an unexpected failure mode. 

-Rusty


----------



## Inhibited

I know something you don't know


----------



## spiritangel

Inhibited said:


> I know something you don't know



oh that is such a huge tease I hope its awesome news for whoever you know it about


What is it ghosts of suitors past or something?


----------



## rellis10

I will never under-appreciate my thumbs again now that pain has made me realise how much they're used


----------



## Aust99

Why do I keep thinking back to 2010.... Get your head in the future lady!!!


----------



## CastingPearls

spiritangel said:


> What is it ghosts of suitors past or something?



I swear, what is it with THAT? I got hit up by four of them in two days! End of year/New Year reminiscing or something?


----------



## littlefairywren

Inhibited said:


> I know something you don't know



Yes, but if you tell me it will be a relief to share


----------



## penguin

I'm a manly Muppet.


----------



## rellis10

I lost... but I'm ok with it this time.


----------



## spiritangel

Why do you have to live so far away you are simply incredible


----------



## Mishty

This damn cookie is the best cookie I've ever put in my mouth hole.


----------



## Gingembre

South African accents make me quiver. :smitten:


----------



## Lovelyone

I didn't know they made peppermint hershey kisses


----------



## CAMellie

Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile.


----------



## rellis10

I need some luck... a whole big heap of it.


----------



## MattB

Bollocks I say...bollocks!


----------



## CastingPearls

rellis10 said:


> I lost... but I'm ok with it this time.


There are few losses, more ...steps to success.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

Gingembre said:


> South African accents make me quiver. :smitten:



But what if you're "bleck"?


----------



## CleverBomb

Airplane mode ON -- whee!

-Rusty


----------



## rellis10

I wonder if the sound of my soul breaking in two transmitted well over the phone....


----------



## MattB

This day will begin and end with shovelling.


----------



## rellis10

Depression over.... let's bake!


----------



## Aust99

Gingembre said:


> South African accents make me quiver. :smitten:



When I lived in Kent, my Australian accent adapted a little (due to teaching (pronouncing for kids) and being surrounded by chavs) and I would often get mistaken for a South African...

Anyway.... 

I think they sound hot too!


----------



## rellis10

No, but the Whooping Crane flies West for the Spring....


----------



## rockhound225

Don't like the weather? Wait ten minutes. That's Missouri for ya...


----------



## Lovelyone

Shelled roasted peanuts? yeah.


----------



## MattB

Spent a little time on the mountain, spent a little time on the hill...


----------



## penguin

Sometimes, passive aggressive is my favourite flavour. Not a fan of the after burn, though.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Laptop died. Tots screwed.


----------



## Aust99

Second guessing already??? Way to grow dude!


----------



## Lovelyone

Did I REALLY do that?


----------



## rellis10

A plum? Are you TRYING to torture me?!


----------



## CAMellie

Eating blood oranges makes me feel like a zombie


----------



## MattB

One completely random sentence, coming up...


----------



## Linda

Why do you keep staring at me? lol Church has become uncomfortable at times.


----------



## MattB

I told you so.


----------



## WVMountainrear

I'm so glad no one can hear the things I say to myself in my head.


----------



## spiritangel

there are days when being a woman really sux


----------



## spiritangel

Taking applications for rich sugar daddies


----------



## PunkyGurly74

spiritangel said:


> Taking applications for rich sugar daddies



Or hey...rich sugar mama's....hehehe


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

Oh, Vienna Fingers, why can't I quit you?


----------



## littlefairywren

Bugger!...............


----------



## Lovelyone

Friends who bring frozen strawberry daiquiri's with them when they visit are loverly.


----------



## rellis10

Run awaaaaay! Run awaaaay!


----------



## 1love_emily

My iPad is 69% charged.


hehehe 69.


----------



## spiritangel

PunkyGurly74 said:


> Or hey...rich sugar mama's....hehehe



hmmm maybe I need a rich benefactor willing to sponser the 'arts' instead lol doubtful I will find any of the above.


----------



## MattB

Oh, the acoustics in my room are finally sweeeeeeet!


----------



## Linda

This wine is soooooooo yummy!!


----------



## Inhibited

You know that funny guy?


----------



## CAMellie

It's like The Hunger Games...only in bed.


----------



## rellis10

If I want you to see something on my laptop screen, I'll show you.


----------



## Linda

Jack Hole ...........


----------



## CleverBomb

Tasty, but ill-advised. 

- Rusty


----------



## rockhound225

I'm covered IN BEES!!!!!


----------



## AuntHen

I have a dream...

Happy MLK everyone!


----------



## CastingPearls

Why are YOU wasting so much time asking so many questions and why are YOU not even talking if you're so freakin interested and screw YOU if you don't like cats and why haven't YOU brought me my mint hot chocolate yet there, pal?


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Warm, from the oven, double fudge brownies....who wants to bring me French Vanilla Ice Cream?? Anyone..anyone??


----------



## CastingPearls

And we all know the roast beef was really a red herring......


----------



## Linda

It's wine time


----------



## MattB

This draft is no match for my hoodie.


----------



## rellis10

Too weird to live, too rare to die...


----------



## Lovelyone

Betty White is a Goddess.


----------



## CleverBomb

One day you will have to answer to the children of the sky. -Bob Sinclar

-Rusty


----------



## spiritangel

my sister is sending me broke


----------



## CAMellie

That's not my adam's apple those are my testicles!


----------



## Dromond

If that was wisdom, then wisdom is overrated.


----------



## Mathias

It's not even worth it to argue with you anymore.


----------



## TwilightStarr

Do you wanna come inside my house? 
Do you wanna show me things I've never seen before? 
I don't wanna tie you down, I just wanna tie you up. 
Do you wanna come inside my house?


----------



## CleverBomb

I want to convert a LNG* carrier ship to transport beer, because you just can't get more awesome than a self-propelled thirty-five million gallon party ball.

- Rusty 
*liquefied natural gas


----------



## Lovelyone

That's disgusting. Guess what? You get to wash all the dishes tomorrow cos you pulled that stunt. Have fun!


----------



## CAMellie

Let the celebratory sexing begin!


----------



## WVMountainrear

I can't win for losing these days.


----------



## Linda

your facebook status should not be a therapy session. just sayin


----------



## Takeshi

Why are you wearing socks to bed?....that reminds me...LOTION TIME!!


----------



## spiritangel

why does she always do it better than me


----------



## WVMountainrear

Glee is killing me with all of the...love and...romance.

Edit: point of clarification: I enjoy and believe in love and romance, but this evening it caught me vulnerable and made me tear up...and I am trying to go all Johnson & Johnson around here. #nomoretears

Edit Edit: That was my first ever hashtag. I liked it. Too much.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

If I have to explain my joke about crayons and Sylvia Plath to you, I think an un-friending* is in order; go get your fucking shinebox... 

*: I actually prefer the term "disenfriending" because it sounds sorta Harry Potterish and you could almost imagine their insipid Wall remarks and stupid pictures going away in a flutter of sprinkles and fairy dust...


----------



## MattB

It's true, you can't kill a Twinkie.


----------



## WVMountainrear

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> If I have to explain my joke about crayons and Sylvia Plath to you, I think an un-friending* is in order; go get your fucking shinebox...
> 
> *: I actually prefer the term "disenfriending" because it sounds sorta Harry Potterish and you could almost imagine their insipid Wall remarks and stupid pictures going away in a flutter of sprinkles and fairy dust...



I GOT IT! I PROMISE!! PLEASE- I DON'T WANT TO BE DISENFRIENDCHISED!


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

MattB said:


> It's true, you can't kill a Twinkie.



Are we talking a standard Twinkie or a Ghostbusters "comparative level of PKE in New York City during the Gozer Intrusion" one?


----------



## MattB

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> Are we talking a standard Twinkie or a Ghostbusters "comparative level of PKE in New York City during the Gozer Intrusion" one?



Standard Twinkie, a Gozerian Twinkie would rule us all of course.


----------



## littlefairywren

When things go bad why are they "pear shaped?" It works well for me.


----------



## CastingPearls

MattB said:


> Standard Twinkie, a Gozerian Twinkie would rule us all of course.


I'd like a shot at that Gozerian Twinkie though. I can literally imagine myself doing the backstroke in its creamy goodness.


----------



## penguin

4 more sleeps. I'm not ready for this.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

So, is there any money to be made in prostitution...you know, to make it worth it?


----------



## MattB

I'm pretty sure he said "pithy"...


----------



## CastingPearls

Mint hot chocolate sweetly hand delivered HAWT.


----------



## Linda

Really? You got jealous over a handful of nuts?


----------



## rellis10

Ever see something out of the corner of your eye that you can't really explain?


----------



## MattB

rellis10 said:


> Ever see something out of the corner of your eye that you can't really explain?



Yep, sure do!



Getting the tattoo urge again, haven't had one done in over 13 years...


----------



## TwilightStarr

I love American Idol but I hate that it was on for 2 hours tonight and I missed Criminal Minds


----------



## CleverBomb

Somewhere in a lonely hotel room, a man realizes that Eternal Fate has turned its back on him. It's 2 AM.

- Rusty


----------



## Zoom

Frogito, ergo ribbit.


----------



## spiritangel

wow how am I supposed to decide which one


----------



## WVMountainrear

"As far as I'm concerned, home may very well be with you." &#9829;


----------



## rellis10

"The moon is a space station..."


----------



## CastingPearls

You don't get me by default.


----------



## CAMellie

I think Wouter (Walter) De Backer is hot


----------



## rellis10

No! You're the idiom!


----------



## MattB

Whatever gives you the warm and fuzzies...


----------



## Mishty

I love my Lainey. (yeah that's randrom TRUTH!)


----------



## Linda

Bite me!!!!


----------



## CastingPearls

Mishty said:


> I love my Lainey. (yeah that's randrom TRUTH!)


Thank you for loving me. I really needed that.


----------



## rellis10

The Elf?! REALLY?!!


----------



## spiritangel

CAMellie said:


> I think Wouter (Walter) De Backer is hot



Omg I sooo adore Gotye and his other band the basics thought you were talking about Wally 

and yes yes he is! I have met him in person total sweetie

wanted to rep you but wasnt allowed to you sooo deserve rep for knowing who he is!!


----------



## CAMellie

spiritangel said:


> Omg I sooo adore Gotye and his other band the basics thought you were talking about Wally
> 
> and yes yes he is! I have met him in person total sweetie
> 
> wanted to rep you but wasnt allowed to you sooo deserve rep for knowing who he is!!



I'm so happy to hear that he's a sweety! I've only recently discovered Gotye because of Walk Off The Earth's cover of Somebody That I Used To Know. I have both of their versions of the song on constant replay whenever I'm online :happy:

Oh...and thank you for the thought of rep. Much appreciated


----------



## Mishty

Hai I need man sex.


----------



## CleverBomb

Yes -- I wear briefs. Darnit, wrong thread.

-Rusty


----------



## Linda

Chew 2-4 tablets as symptoms occur. How many will kill me? lol


----------



## CastingPearls

QUICK Somebody take these tweezers from me!


----------



## MattB

Mostly shadows or people for the most part...


----------



## CastingPearls

When I see some people on Facebook, then see them in candid shots that their friends tag them in and they can't take them down fast enough, I realize, ohhhh they use that new skin cream called "Adobe Photoshop".


----------



## Lovelyone

I did a damned good job on these meatballs and this cornbread. *beams*


----------



## lovelocs

Arrgghh... Ungghhh... MOTHERFUUUUUU!!!!!!


----------



## rellis10

"His undercarriage has seen better days..."


----------



## CleverBomb

So, it'll pass but only if it's warmed up exactly the right amount -- VW seems to to have contracted out my engine to the Three Bears.

-Rusty


----------



## Mishty

Flirtin' like a ho,yo!


----------



## MattB

I feel like I'm incredibly late to the party.


----------



## spiritangel

must get back into stuff


----------



## Lovelyone

That's a pretty comforter.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Layer of snow, layer of ice and then more snow on top - freakin' awesome [deadpan]


----------



## AuntHen

Even in adversity, one's attitude/outlook is a choice.


----------



## CleverBomb

There are choices you can face in this world that, made wrong, cause you to forfeit the right to plead all the good you’ve ever done in mitigation.

-Rusty
(borrowed quote)


----------



## MattB

Slow down Sunday!


----------



## rellis10

Come back! The Ewok wants you!


----------



## spiritangel

and thus it all ends with a wimper


----------



## The Orange Mage

I get high in the evening sniffing pots of glue.


----------



## penguin

I really need to learn to drive.


----------



## rellis10

I think my eyes are changing colour....


----------



## spiritangel

Hi Ho Hi Ho its off to craft I go


----------



## MattB

Well Monday, you delivered as always.


----------



## TwilightStarr

My cable company needs to learn how to read a calender!

Don't say the cut off date is the 26th when it is actually the 22nd!


----------



## Lovelyone

"To sleep, perchance to dream-
ay, there's the rub."


----------



## CleverBomb

I want fweem. Daka-daka-daka fweem.

- Rusty


----------



## pegz

I just want to be one..... not one of many!


----------



## spiritangel

Will total honesty be friend or foe in this instance


----------



## rellis10

"Settle your onions"..... whut?


----------



## CAMellie

I had a little bit of oatmeal with my butter and sugar.


----------



## CastingPearls

CAMellie said:


> I had a little bit of oatmeal with my butter and sugar.


That was me with Cream of Wheat (and some half and half too)


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I want pizza....


----------



## Linda

Ok, well that was very awkward.


----------



## rellis10

Falafel, spiced chicken, side saddle..... wait what?


----------



## pegz

suck it up cupcake!


----------



## spiritangel

zomg how did I not notice my nipples showing through the fabric


----------



## MattB

Is this your sister's sixth zither, sir?


----------



## CAMellie

The more you talk about it the more that I think that...yes...you really ARE a whore


----------



## Inhibited

Rain, Rain, GO AWAY!!!!


----------



## Lovelyone

So, you message me...but then leave me sitting while you chat with your "cousin", yeah I was born at night darlin', but it wasn't last night. CYA


----------



## CastingPearls

You said you'd be coming back this way again.


----------



## Mathias

And now the fun begins...


----------



## penguin

Inhibited said:


> Rain, Rain, GO AWAY!!!!



The rain went away but left everything hot and steamy, and not in a good way.


----------



## spiritangel

yummmm yummm rockmellon


----------



## rellis10

This is utter filth!


----------



## spiritangel

wow the writing thing has been happening a bit lately new poems, a new story, what next


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Hmm...the dogs made me do it...


----------



## pegz

It makes me smile when you text me.... ( big cheesy grins)


----------



## MattB

It all starts again tomorrow, nervous as hell.


----------



## spiritangel

Another one bites the dust


----------



## penguin

I'm too sexy for this song.


----------



## CAMellie

The check is in the mail...hold your breath while you wait for it, 'k?


----------



## MattB

Sometimes I question why I do it, other times it's obvious why.


----------



## Lovelyone

Good Heavens I am happy that this is over cos those ladies were acting a fool.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Glad to see you are still bat-shit crazy and still an obsessive bleep - good to know things do not change....ugh


----------



## CastingPearls

PunkyGurly74 said:


> Glad to see you are still bat-shit crazy and still an obsessive bleep - good to know things do not change....ugh


Oh you saw that too, huh? LMAO


----------



## PunkyGurly74

CastingPearls said:


> Oh you saw that too, huh? LMAO



:: laughing :: Yep...still bat-shit crazy and oh..full of poo


----------



## spiritangel

Im soo excited


----------



## WVMountainrear

The skewed perception of insane people never ceases to astound me.


----------



## Lovelyone

I hate Valentine's day.


----------



## spiritangel

blasted heat bugger off its too hot to sleep, to eat, or to freaking move


----------



## Mishty

This Monday has been owned.


----------



## Lovelyone

I can't believe I just did that.


----------



## CAMellie

I <3 OxyContins :wubu:


----------



## rellis10

Mao Tse Tung said change must come...


----------



## MattB

I'm getting impatient waiting for my mutant power to develop.


----------



## CastingPearls

The Wheel of Fortune has finally turned.


----------



## rg770Ibanez

Cool story bro.


----------



## Mishty

I'm not sure I understand men anymore.....


----------



## MattB

This too shall pass...work already!


----------



## CastingPearls

Did you try opening the back door to call his name?


----------



## spiritangel

Ok E stamp you better be easy to find we are about to enter inchie hell


----------



## Lovelyone

My _real_ friends don't treat me like that, and I love them for it.


----------



## rellis10

I believe that woman's plannin' to shoot me again....


----------



## CastingPearls

If I'm not impressed, it's because I've heard it all before from better people than you.


----------



## Lovelyone

Cher said it best..."SNAP OUT OF IT!"


----------



## MattB

It's Carl, the stuntman!


----------



## rellis10

Something... just... cracked.


----------



## Luv2BNaughty

I hate the 1st. ><


----------



## Proner

It's not my fault, my eyebrows are independant.


----------



## CastingPearls

No, you never told me that but I love you for saying it and yes I believe you.


----------



## Weirdo890

Buddha has a ghost penis that lives in your breakfast cereal.


----------



## littlefairywren

Omnomnom...frozen peach and mango cheesecake...nomnom.


----------



## Lovelyone

Elaine's going to be jealous of my bacon.


----------



## Mishty

Well, it's not like I was caught masturbating for my Master outside in a storm by my Jesus lovin' auntie.


----------



## CastingPearls

Don't forget your bindi


----------



## Proner

Why I feel like the cold try to get under my pants everytime I go outside?


----------



## rellis10

A cathedral of sausage....


----------



## MattB

Just a box of rain...


----------



## CastingPearls

You only get 10% so that's one eggroll and if you don't like it, you're fired.


----------



## rellis10

I believe there was an idea regarding beagles....?


----------



## MattB

Phase one of stress relief is vacuuming, phase two- furniture rearranging...


----------



## Mishty

Yeah,makes a lot of god damn sense....moron.


----------



## Weirdo890

Zombies took my lunch money!


----------



## CleverBomb

As if another one would help.

-Rusty


----------



## rellis10

Don't you know kissing girls makes you sleepy?


----------



## Mishty

Girls are for fags....


----------



## PamelaLois

"May I mumble dogfaced through the banana patch?"


----------



## MattB

That was way harsh Tai...


----------



## spiritangel

must give it a face


----------



## BBWbonnie

I miss talking about the clutter horse and muslamic ray guns


----------



## Mathias

I _really_ want the bad guys to win in this book for a change.


----------



## Lovelyone

scary movie...ummm no.


----------



## rellis10

Dear lord that sound is one of the most disgusting things I've ever heard!


----------



## Weirdo890

She's got a tongue like an electric eel and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils.


----------



## AuntHen

One should examine oneself for a very long time before thinking of condemning others. ~Moliere


----------



## Lovelyone

Life is too short to be so melodramatic.


----------



## MattB

Did any of that seem strange to you?


----------



## That Guy You Met Once

Rapidly rendering realistic royal regalia's really rough, so - reclusive in my residence's rightmost room - I ruminate and rant on how rigorous, rotten, and repulsive a routine reproducing regal robes remains: a report I may repeatedly rehash as my rage and resentment rise.


----------



## CleverBomb

I'll call you right back, I have to reboot my televsion. 

-Rusty


----------



## rellis10

And I care what you think.... why?


----------



## CAMellie

Someone seriously needs to slap the bitch right out of you, and I would be more than happy to volunteer! :happy:


----------



## spiritangel

ahh sleep your time has come


----------



## Weirdo890

Some days you just want to staple your hand to the table.


----------



## Lovelyone

Superbowl? What Superbowl?


----------



## CastingPearls

But crazy has places to hide in, that are deeper than any goodbye - Leonard Cohen


----------



## Linda

Good things come to those who wait....right?


----------



## MattB

In case you were wondering, you can't rep yourself.


----------



## rellis10

Sarge... I think I'm nekkid


----------



## Lovelyone

*In a girly Mr. T voice* I pity the FOOL!


----------



## CleverBomb

Really? I need a Quality Unboxing Experience for a freakin' LAPTOP BATTERY?

-Rusty
(57% Charged)


----------



## rellis10

Is it really HER room if she isn't in it?


----------



## snuggletiger

You mean I am the only who fell asleep watching THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANK? Come to think of it that film wasn't as funny as NIGHT AT THE OPERA.


----------



## rellis10

.....so, how do you spell a bowel movement?


----------



## CAMellie

Jesus H. Crust on a jumped-up donkey - dealing with the U.S. government sucks sweaty ass crack!


----------



## Weirdo890

I'm heading out to fight time-travelling cyborg baboons. Can I pick anything up for you?


----------



## AuntHen

I wait for the answer every day.


----------



## MattB

Your cat is in what we call, a "rut"...


----------



## Weirdo890

I swear, that badger meant nothing to me!!


----------



## rellis10

I FINALLY watched it


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

You killed my car! The Malibu is dead! Long live the 'Bu!


----------



## Mathias

Hi beautiful... :wubu:


----------



## penguin

How many times do I have to remind you? DON'T stand on my nipples!


----------



## CleverBomb

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> You killed my car! The Malibu is dead! Long live the 'Bu!


My name is Admiral Snackbar. You killed my Malibu. Prepare to die.

-Rusty


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Job interview at 3.....I have everything crossed....


----------



## rellis10

PunkyGurly74 said:


> Job interview at 3.....I have everything crossed....



Good luck!


----------



## HottiMegan

I'm really super, horribly bad at waiting for stuff.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

rellis10 said:


> Good luck!



Thank you, sir!


----------



## Surlysomething

e-babies, get out of my head!


----------



## MattB

But I'll get back on my feet someday, the good Lord willin'...


----------



## penguin

I want to eat a chocolate rabbit NOW.


----------



## rellis10

This movie is probably better served for when I'm actually awake


----------



## CleverBomb

Cyberspace: Where men are men, and so are most of the women (except for the 14-year-old girls -- those are FBI agents).


-Rusty


----------



## rellis10

Squiffiness abounds!


----------



## PhiloGirl

Are you there, Jah? It's me, Ras Trent... :happy:


----------



## WVMountainrear

I want chocolate.


----------



## penguin

Here we are in the middle of a crisis, and there's no cheesecake.


----------



## CastingPearls

lovelylady78 said:


> I want chocolate.


Why is it that EVERY time you say this I happen to be eating chocolate?


----------



## penguin

CastingPearls said:


> Why is it that EVERY time you say this I happen to be eating chocolate?



I have coconut M&Ms out right now. They're...interesting.


----------



## rellis10

This is possibly the most awkward movie i've ever watched.


----------



## WVMountainrear

penguin said:


> Here we are in the middle of a crisis, and there's no cheesecake.



I love the Golden Girls.




CastingPearls said:


> Why is it that EVERY time you say this I happen to be eating chocolate?





penguin said:


> I have coconut M&Ms out right now. They're...interesting.



You two always have chocolate when I want some. : pout :


----------



## spiritangel

lovelylady78 said:


> I love the Golden Girls.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> You two always have chocolate when I want some. : pout :



I will share my Mint slices with you Lovely  they are coated in dark chocolate with a mint icing and then chocolate bikkie (ie cookie)


----------



## penguin

lovelylady78 said:


> I love the Golden Girls.



They are fabulous!



> You two always have chocolate when I want some. : pout :



I'll share if you come over here!



spiritangel said:


> I will share my Mint slices with you Lovely  they are coated in dark chocolate with a mint icing and then chocolate bikkie (ie cookie)



They are SO GOOD. I like to freeze them first


----------



## CleverBomb

Any klutz can superglue their fingers together, but doing it with 5-minute epoxy takes TALENT. 

-Rusty


----------



## spiritangel

penguin said:


> They are fabulous!
> 
> 
> 
> I'll share if you come over here!
> 
> 
> 
> They are SO GOOD. I like to freeze them first




I have never tried that gonna have to try it I mean I freeze my mars bars and snickers (have the small ones to try and bribe myself into houswork mode)



CleverBomb said:


> Any klutz can superglue their fingers together, but doing it with 5-minute epoxy takes TALENT.
> 
> -Rusty



you laugh but I have done both those things and managed to get unstuck without injury or the emergency room not sure how I managed it but I did


So much still to do.............


----------



## Mathias

I can't let you do that.


----------



## rg770Ibanez

Well, I'm not going to the olympic games for 2012.


----------



## penguin

lycra talcum powder farting man.


----------



## spiritangel

thinks buying those fairy stamps may have been a mistake......


----------



## MattB

Accidentally hit my garbage can moving my car to the street today, readjusted, then hit my neighbour's can...


----------



## Surlysomething

MattB said:


> Accidentally hit my garbage can moving my car to the street today, readjusted, then hit my neighbour's can...


 

Haha. Probably not the funniest for you, but it made *LOL*.

Try and have a better rest of the day.


----------



## Lovelyone

I can't believe I am watching, "Murder, She Wrote"


----------



## CastingPearls

Lovelyone said:


> I can't believe I am watching, "Murder, She Wrote"


I could never understand the logic of the premise of that show. EVERYWHERE she went, people died. LADY, STAY HOME!!!!


----------



## CAMellie

CastingPearls said:


> I could never understand the logic of the premise of that show. EVERYWHERE she went, people died. LADY, STAY HOME!!!!



Bahahahahaha! I actually gigglesnorted :happy:


----------



## TwilightStarr

My taste buds and sense of small have been really out of whack the past couple of days, since I had that redonkulous stomach virus last week but for some reason right now this ice water and fudge stripe cookies are the best thing ever!


----------



## Lovelyone

TwilightStarr said:


> My taste buds and sense of small have been really out of whack the past couple of days, since I had that redonkulous stomach virus last week but for some reason right now this ice water and fudge stripe cookies are the best thing ever!



I am going through this right now, too. It's strange that nothing smells or tastes good and that my appetite has all but disappeared.

My random sentence...

42 boxes, that's a lot of stuff to carry. *Sigh


----------



## rellis10

You're a silly old man... and he's an annoying young man.


----------



## CAMellie

I'm pretty sure they're wearing concrete blocks instead of shoes upstairs :doh:


----------



## penguin

CastingPearls said:


> I could never understand the logic of the premise of that show. EVERYWHERE she went, people died. LADY, STAY HOME!!!!



If I saw her come to town, I'd leave. Best way to guarantee survival.


----------



## CAMellie

BEEF! It's what's for dinner.


----------



## CAMellie

Holy shit! Whitney Houston died today!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## MattB

I'm not trying to reinvent the wheel, I just want to make my own wheel...


----------



## Lovelyone

OMGoodness, Matthew and Mary kissed? Why DID that take so long?


----------



## CastingPearls

You DID NOT just say Ocean's Razor!?!?!?!


----------



## Weirdo890

You have a nice car, does it come in F*&%ing damp?!


----------



## rellis10

Are you hungry? I haven't eaten since later this afternoon.


----------



## spiritangel

must get behind in gear if I want to get this done before school lets out


----------



## rellis10

Did he have hands? Did he have a face? Yes? Then it wasn't us.


----------



## rg770Ibanez

I feel like a lab rat.


----------



## CastingPearls

It's amazing how a toasted english muffin could be such a sweet gesture.


----------



## rellis10

This is _exceedingly_ japanese


----------



## luscious_lulu

My whole body hurts.


----------



## PhiloGirl

rellis10 said:


> This is _exceedingly_ japanese


lol I'm going to have to steal that.

I just realized that hump day is my day off work!


----------



## rellis10

PhiloGirl said:


> lol I'm going to have to steal that.
> 
> I just realized that hump day is my day off work!



Thank Transformers: Dark of the Moon, haha.

Here's another truly random one....

Floral sweet oaty fish biscuit


----------



## CAMellie

Call me Galactic President Superstar McAwesomeville


----------



## CleverBomb

rellis10 said:


> Thank Transformers: Dark of the Moon, haha.
> 
> Here's another truly random one....
> 
> Floral sweet oaty fish biscuit


Fruity Oaty Bars.

-Rusty


----------



## Mathias

They don't even go here!!


----------



## penguin

I just have a lot of feelings!


----------



## Mishty

Well I'll be damned.....


----------



## HottiMegan

Holy CRAP! 29 pages of loan application! I wonder if they'll ask for our first born too!


----------



## spiritangel

omg these are good


----------



## Weirdo890

There's something you don't see every day.


----------



## CleverBomb

Well, you would THINK that, but you would be wrong. 

-Rusty


----------



## BBWbonnie

I am now a sea slug and I need a fish to live up my bum


----------



## AuntHen

When people are bored, it is primarily with their own selves that they are bored. ~Eric Hoffer


----------



## CastingPearls

'God loves me so much he SUPERSIZED me!' - Facebook quote


----------



## Inhibited

From little things big things grow.


----------



## Inhibited

From little things big things grow.


----------



## MattB

I had never seen so many spiders in my life, and to make things worse I was locked in.


----------



## That Guy You Met Once

I sometimes wonder if moving to a place with a cleaner bathroom would help alleviate my depression.


----------



## That Guy You Met Once

Inhibited said:


> From little things big things grow.



That double post was probably accidental, but I find it funny because the song that comes from repeats the line twice.


----------



## Inhibited

That Guy You Met Once said:


> That double post was probably accidental, but I find it funny because the song that comes from repeats the line twice.



lol yea, sorry about that everyone.. it was an accident.. 

The song gets stuck in my head as it is used for an ad campaign here and i watch alot of tv ..


----------



## spiritangel

Sometimes I amaze myself


----------



## rellis10

I want a magic potato too!


----------



## Weirdo890

Whatever a man, a woman, a midget, and a donkey do in the privacy of their own strip club is their own business.


----------



## TwilightStarr

Seriously?! I am only asking for one hour here! One hour to watch Walking Dead and then the neighbors can bitch all they want and the phone can ring off the hook, just give me this one flippin hour!!


----------



## CastingPearls

If you think I jump for joy every time you contact me with your inane prattling, you're delusional.


----------



## Mishty

This really fucking hurts.


----------



## littlefairywren

I gave you my hand and you ended up biting it. I wish you happiness, I truly do, but I'm done.


----------



## spiritangel

littlefairywren said:


> I gave you my hand and you ended up biting it. I wish you happiness, I truly do, but I'm done.





Mishty said:


> This really fucking hurts.




Lots and lots of squishy hugs to the both of you.


----------



## CAMellie

3 spoonfuls of peanut butter and a glass of water for breakfast...om nom nom


----------



## Shosh

CAMellie said:


> 3 spoonfuls of peanut butter and a glass of water for breakfast...om nom nom



You would have needed the water to stop your tongue from sticking to the roof of your mouth from the peanut butter.


----------



## CAMellie

Shosh said:


> You would have needed the water to stop your tongue from sticking to the roof of your mouth from the peanut butter.



Exactly, Shoshieboo!


----------



## Deven

Oh my god, oh my god, they're going to eat the frogs...


----------



## Gingembre

Early night fail. Poop.


----------



## MattB

Oh, hey there Meathead.


----------



## JSmirkingRevenge

your face looks like a baby goat.


----------



## CleverBomb

Ooga shaka, ooga shaka. 

-Rusty


----------



## spiritangel

How lucky am I?


----------



## Deven

Ugh, Amish.


----------



## rellis10

You should have seen me, I was all manly and grrrrr


----------



## Proner

I should stop making silly faces all the time.


----------



## rellis10

Proner said:


> I should stop making silly faces all the time.



We demand pictures of said silly faces!


----------



## Proner

Could be done but don't say I didn't warn you after


----------



## CastingPearls

You're making it harder to say no.


----------



## rellis10

What do you think I am... SPANISH?!


----------



## Luv2BNaughty

Sometimes the human race absolutely disgusts me. Why anyone would suggest to someone who has previously attempted suicide, to try it again and hope they're successful this time, makes me beyond livid!! What jollies do people get from this?! What? Do they feel a sense of self-righteous pride from posting such a hateful comment? What the fuck is the deal? What would these people do if they actually broke someone down enough to where they actually did it? Feel good about themselves? Pat themselves on the back? Give themselves a virtual high-five about it? Insensitive motherfuckers. I'm sickened by the mentality.


----------



## rellis10

That was easier than expected....


----------



## CastingPearls

You could have been on every page but you chose to be a footnote.


----------



## CleverBomb

When your dreamboat, turns out to be a footnote
I'm a man with a mission in two or three editions

-E. Costello

-Rusty (ok, maybe "free association - song lyrics" rather than just plain "random?")


----------



## spiritangel

and so the long list of catch up phone calls begings ick


----------



## MattB

No homework...then you will have to fight the BEAR!


----------



## one2one

I just can't believe no one else sees through all the crap your feeding us.


----------



## Lovelyone

I think he is perhaps one of the kindest people I have ever had the pleasure of getting to know.


----------



## MattB

It's kind of like when they closed down the roller disco...


----------



## rellis10

drugs? injuries? heartbreak? insanity? really bad 80's pop music?


----------



## lovelocs

The pants, we boil- the underwear, we incinerate- the socks, we give to the Smithsonian...


----------



## Mathias

What you call "drunk", I call being "happily talkative." There's a difference.


----------



## CastingPearls

The emperor has no clothes.


----------



## Dromond

I'm totally digging the breeze coming in through the open window. :happy:


----------



## Weirdo890

Peel back this backdrop like the lids from my eyes.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Soo......driving a mini van doesn't lower my cool quotient..right? right??

And should I get those stick people stickers...the mom, and 2 dogs - and remove one leg on one of the dogs for my tri-paw? hehehehe


----------



## Jess87

Spreadsheet has officially become a dirty word to me.


----------



## CleverBomb

Chrysler didn't invent the minivan, VW did -- and a Bus is inherently cool. 

-Rusty


----------



## spiritangel

Sometimes I love the way my mind works


----------



## danielson123

I'm considering starting a diary - I want to see how bad what I do actually looks written down in front of me.


----------



## Mathias

Oh no! Not the birdie boiler!!!!


----------



## MattB

I got blisters on me fingers!


----------



## spiritangel

a little glitter can fix almost anything


----------



## AuntHen

I can hear a million angels singing in my ears, when I say your name :wubu:


----------



## Linda

I want...no I NEED to take bass guitar lessons.


----------



## one2one

I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.


----------



## MattB

We've got nothin' better to do...


----------



## one2one

I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do about your karma.


----------



## samuraiscott

Waiting is not easy; I am not patient sometimes.


----------



## spiritangel

if your going to throw tantys like a baby do not complain when I call you out on it.


----------



## TwilightStarr

If my doctor's office calls tomorrow to reschedule my appointment like they have done the past 2 weeks, they will no longer be dealing with polite Tiffany!!


----------



## stoneyman

Eat my shorts....


----------



## Mathias

Aw come on, the night's only just begun... :wubu:


----------



## Your Plump Princess

No, You precious thing. There will never be a towelie-ban.


----------



## rellis10

Brown, brown and, yes, more brown.


----------



## CAMellie

Seriously...use your grown-up words like a big girl


----------



## MattB

Oh, I would love to be taken that seriously!


----------



## Linda

Where the hell did that come from?


----------



## Fattitude1

wonder if I'll be snoring in 20 minutes?


----------



## CastingPearls

You were master of so many, but savior to none.


----------



## danielson123

Do the walk of life.


----------



## spiritangel

danielson123 said:


> Do the walk of life.



love that album such memories attatched to that time and place


Think I went a little tulle crazy.....


----------



## Deven

Snooki is pregnant?!?! I'll get the flamethrowers!


----------



## Linda

Just effin marvelous.... Jack Hole


----------



## CleverBomb

Women are wicked when you're unwanted.

-Rusty


----------



## MattB

Jamming with the wind...


----------



## CAMellie

Tweezing my eyebrows makes me wish I was being jabbed in the face with needles instead


----------



## rellis10

You're the world champion.... and you want ME to edit your work? Are you mad!?


----------



## one2one

At this point I'm just going to update my status to 'ambivalent' and call it a day.


----------



## penguin

I'm melting!! I'm melting!!


----------



## samuraiscott

All we are is dust in the wind.


----------



## Lovelyone

I'd give almost everything for a shiatsu massage.


----------



## Deven

How do you cancel class with no e-mail? I could've slept 2 more hours...


----------



## Linda

What do you mean by that?


----------



## Mathias

Well, if that's the game you want to play then bring it on.


----------



## Mishty

Well if the failing brakes during rush hour didn't scare me,why should these twisters?


----------



## CastingPearls

Mishty said:


> Well if the failing brakes during rush hour didn't scare me,why should these twisters?


Hey Punkin, can you keep in touch, if at all possible so we know you're okay?


----------



## CAMellie

Sometimes life just kicks you in the crotch!


----------



## samuraiscott

I have something special planned for you.


----------



## CleverBomb

And I fully expect to get banned now.

-Rusty


----------



## penguin

PMS is a bitch.


----------



## rellis10

This is long... way too long.


----------



## CAMellie

3 grown-ass people should be able to do it, dammit!


----------



## HottiMegan

Fuck you cancer!


----------



## danielson123

True villains need no sleep.


----------



## MattB

I'm on the edge of my seat and about to fall off.


----------



## Mathias

She's just adorable in every conceivable way. :wubu:


----------



## rellis10

Come 'ere you pilfering parakeet!


----------



## TwilightStarr

Only in Kentucky do we have tornadoes, snow, and 70 degree weather all in one week!


----------



## rockhound225

Thank god T/F is over.


----------



## Mishty

I'm not ready,I get it.


----------



## rellis10

What's all the fuss about?


----------



## CastingPearls

When was the last time you thought of me, or have you completely erased me from your memory?


----------



## Deven

He's never said my name, no one knows who I am, right?


----------



## TwilightStarr

I need a serious break after just spending an hour and a half in traffic! And an hour of it was spent on one road that usually would take less than a minute to go down!


----------



## Jess87

A tampon blowgun is actually a far more brilliant idea than I would have thought.

http://www.tamponcrafts.com/gun.html


----------



## Deven

Somehow, I don't think laying on your horn for five minutes is drawing your target out of their house...


----------



## samuraiscott

I hate people who honk their horns waiting on their dates to come out. Whatever happened to going to the door and escorting her from the house to your car?


----------



## CastingPearls

You never know when it's going to happen but when it does it's awesome.


----------



## Lovelyone

Wow, really?


----------



## Linda

I knew you would find some way to contact me if I just gave it some time.:happy:


----------



## Mathias

Lamest Spring Break ever.


----------



## rellis10

Never mix your euphemisms.... "this is the calm before the shit storm hits the fan"


----------



## MattB

I'll be the rubbish, you'll be the bin...


----------



## CleverBomb

"The problem with internet quotations is that it is impossible to determine their veracity." - Abraham Lincoln

-Rusty
(A borrowed quote that I wish I'd come up with first.)


----------



## spiritangel

You really want to come to life dont you!


----------



## rellis10

I've thought about it every night since... EVERY night.


----------



## CleverBomb

So, that happened.

-Rusty


----------



## Linda

Please! Please do!!


----------



## Lovelyone

FInally...60 degree weather. Ahhhhhhhhhh.


----------



## CAMellie

Except for my wedding day...the 10th of the month SUCKS!


----------



## mel

I wonder if the rains pours down on him when he frowns.


----------



## AuntHen

"To love someone deeply gives you *strength*. Being loved by someone deeply gives you *courage*." -- Lao Tzu


----------



## samuraiscott

I am about to burst at the seems holding this secret inside.


----------



## Dromond

I'm like a zombie this morning. WHERE IS THE DAMN CAFFEINE???


----------



## MattB

"Transatlantic titanic freakshout..."


----------



## CastingPearls

Yes you are crazy and you do keep coming back like an bad penny and I remember too and yes I do love this, that, and the other thing but still....no.


----------



## TwilightStarr

This time change is throwing me off bad!


----------



## Timberwolf

Having a cold sucks.


----------



## rellis10

What is life, if we are not tested, but a game?


----------



## MattB

I never noticed how creepy that cover was until last night.


----------



## rellis10

"Fix it.... or I'll bone your dog!"


----------



## CAMellie

You SUCK, life!!!!


----------



## CastingPearls

You're not deep; you're boring as hell.


----------



## rellis10

The cake is a lie, eh? What about the frosting?


----------



## penguin

I wasn't expecting this.


----------



## samuraiscott

The main part of my project is complete; I love it when a plan comes together.


----------



## rockhound225

"What's the rumpus, and should I grab my wellies?"


----------



## TwilightStarr

I've never seen Star Wars


----------



## MattB

You try getting off of caffeine when you have a car trunk full of it...


----------



## Linda

Seriously? Those are the lyrics you're going to quote me?


----------



## MattB

Things seem to have taken a turn for the nerd...


----------



## penguin

Headache of doom, be gone


----------



## Fattitude1

I like an MLT, Mutton lettuce and tomato, where the mutton is lean and the tomato is ripe.
(Happy B'day, Miracle Max)


----------



## Mathias

I freaking love my life!


----------



## Mishty

I just,I don't know....end up places man.


----------



## lovelocs

Birds start singin' really friggin' early.


----------



## samuraiscott

I'll Send Shivers........


----------



## CAMellie

What the hell happened to no-kill shelters?????


----------



## AuntHen

Sometimes all that *sugar*, is actually covering up something bitter and bad tasting.


----------



## CastingPearls

fat9276 said:


> Sometimes all that *sugar*, is actually covering up something bitter and bad tasting.


This is one of the wisest things I've ever seen on Dims or anywhere for that matter.


----------



## rellis10

The Expendables 2... co-starring Chuck Norris' Beard


----------



## MattB

First shamrock shake in years...meh...


----------



## Mathias

Tonight's going to be such a blast!


----------



## penguin

I didn't order a bad mood, but I got one all the same.


----------



## Mathias

I'm going to be feeling this tomorrow...


----------



## CastingPearls

Okay so obviously semen is not a wise dinnertime subject for everyone, sorry.


----------



## Dromond

That could have been bad.


----------



## penguin

CastingPearls said:


> Okay so obviously semen is not a wise dinnertime subject for everyone, sorry.



It's highly amusing when you and one other diner are talking about it, and the other two are thinking you're talking about avocado. "It's so creamy, smooth and delicious!" "It's so salty and I can't imagine anyone liking it!"

You realise there's some miscommunication going on when someone mentions putting it in a salad.


----------



## Fattitude1

oh, look. TV.


----------



## MattB

Watching Police Academy 3, the question is why?


----------



## Linda

Hanging out in the rain is awesome!


----------



## one2one

I can't help but notice that you're both the victim and the hero in every story you tell.


----------



## J34

Shut the fudge up you little asstrounaut! What the helicopters are you doing? You son of a batch of cookies.


----------



## Linda

Umm what did you just say??


----------



## rellis10

Pop the hood on my noggin and have a good poke around


----------



## CastingPearls

Passive-aggression is not your strong suit, Princess.


----------



## Fattitude1

Read dozens of books about heros & crooks, and I learned much from both of their styles.
(homage to JB)


----------



## ButlerGirl09

Wayyyy too much information! Yikes...


----------



## Mathias

I can't ever win.


----------



## CAMellie

Jaysus Jumped Up Christ! Am I gargling glass shards???


----------



## MattB

Stares longingly out the window...


----------



## Fattitude1

I don't want to know what is in the Oreo or how many calories or fat grams one cookie has. Keep it to yourself.


----------



## Linda

The smell of a barbeque brings back some very good memories. very good indeed...


----------



## pegz

Select offline account.

:doh:


----------



## rellis10

This 'being in charge' malarkey is a blessing and a curse...


----------



## Deven

If Twilight is considered Classic Literature in 100 years than I want Marilyn Manson to be considered a religious leader....


----------



## CAMellie

You know what? Sometimes that shit just isn't cute and you come off sounding like a whore. Have a little self-respect, 'k?


----------



## rellis10

Eggs were not a wise choice


----------



## Mathias

When you hear the ominous music in the beginning of a Law and Order episode, some scary shit is about to go down.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

Boys, as much as your mom may insist on this fact, girl farts do NOT smell like cinnamon and honeysuckle.


----------



## CleverBomb

Don't call the police -- I'm ironing as fast as I can!
- Rusty


----------



## Linda

Hopefully I can refrain from showing my boobs at church this week. :doh:


----------



## lovelocs

I do much better when I drink my water, eat at home, and go to bed at a sensible hour.


----------



## HottiMegan

YAWN!!! that is all..


----------



## samuraiscott

Moving sucks worse than a lot of shit.


----------



## HottiMegan

samuraiscott said:


> Moving sucks worse than a lot of shit.



lol I'm having fun packing everything up and dreaming of where to put it in the new house  But my family is a group of nomads. I never lived in a place more than 5 years growing up.. I see moving is like a fresh start


----------



## samuraiscott

HottiMegan said:


> lol I'm having fun packing everything up and dreaming of where to put it in the new house  But my family is a group of nomads. I never lived in a place more than 5 years growing up.. I see moving is like a fresh start



I should be looking at it like that, but there are some extenuating circumstances. My Mother just passed and we have had to go through 60 years worth of stuff and I also lost my dog. It's hard to think about the move as a fresh start when I feel like I have lost so much. I have not lost everything; I have a very special person in my life who right now makes my days a lot brighter. I am so thankful for her. May your move be everything you wish it to be Hotti.


----------



## HottiMegan

samuraiscott said:


> I should be looking at it like that, but there are some extenuating circumstances. My Mother just passed and we have had to go through 60 years worth of stuff and I also lost my dog. It's hard to think about the move as a fresh start when I feel like I have lost so much. I have not lost everything; I have a very special person in my life who right now makes my days a lot brighter. I am so thankful for her. May your move be everything you wish it to be Hotti.



i'm sorry you're going through so much. I could totally see a move being a negative with all that. I hope you find your new place a refreshing new start though.


----------



## Fattitude1

I love Jesus, but I drink a little.


----------



## Dromond

I'm a damn liberal and I'm sick of downplaying it for fear of offending people.


----------



## Linda

Better get that lock checked out.


----------



## Mathias

Last night was wild!


----------



## rellis10

God help me if I ever buy a shiny hat


----------



## CAMellie

Leave us alone! #We'reScared


----------



## Lovelyone

yeah right, and birds fly out of my ass and salute every time I hear the Star Spangled Banner.


----------



## stoneyman

Sorry, wrong number....


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

So my choices are moron or moron with a side of angelfood cake? :doh:


----------



## Linda

Off to the sex party...


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

It's _Wingardium leviosAAA, _not_ leviosaRR_


----------



## WVMountainrear

"I don't want no Fop, goddamnit...I'm a Dapper Dan man!"


----------



## rellis10

I am not getting on that fluffy snot monster...


----------



## CAMellie

I don't care if you cover yourself in peanut butter and have a 15 hooker orgy


----------



## Dromond

I've tasted worse things, but not very often.


----------



## Lovelyone

Who knew that spaghetti could cause such disastrous results?


----------



## rellis10

My friends need to suck on those frogs!


----------



## samuraiscott

Ooobly goo oooobly goo ooobly goo goo doooo.


----------



## Fattitude1

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?


----------



## Mathias

You can't spell Mark Hamil without Arkham.


----------



## MRdobolina

dont stick d!ck in crazy


----------



## big_lad27

Things are getting too spicy for the pepper


----------



## rellis10

...the fuck are you mumbling at?


----------



## Fattitude1

If if and buts were candy and nuts we'd all have a Merry Christmas.


----------



## Mishty

This ain't my; comeonoverandmakesmalltalkface.


----------



## rg770Ibanez

I love your "unbiased" logic. (aka pure emotional dissonance to love)


----------



## KittyKitten

Message board logic....in an adult forum.... you can talk about face sitting, squirting, peeing, anal, etc, yet get an infraction for 'inappropriate language' just for saying the F word.


----------



## penguin

Multi quote: It's a good thing.


----------



## CleverBomb

Just because it's legal, doesn't mean it's right.

-Rusty


----------



## Mathias

You know you had a good night when you wake up and find the words "Sexy Wheels" written on your chest. :blush:


----------



## CAMellie

Some of the things I read on here make me want to bleach my eyeballs


----------



## CastingPearls

Every time I try to like you, you say something that practically demands I don't.


----------



## Surlysomething

When you used to ignore me, I thought it was something I did.
Now when you ignore me, I think you're fucked up.


Haha.


----------



## Mathias

Alright, that's just nasty.


----------



## CleverBomb

Hobbies: Introducing caustic chemicals into domestic water supplies. 

-Rusty


----------



## Fattitude1

How can I be two places at once when I'm nowhere at all?


----------



## Surlysomething

Fuck all y'all.


----------



## CAMellie

FFS enough already!!!


----------



## CleverBomb

Well, at least the pipes weren't filled with bleach when it broke. 

-Rusty


----------



## Mathias

I think I'll get the new Kid Icarus game today.


----------



## Dromond

*spritzes breath spray*
*clears throat*
*faces audience*
*draws deep breath*
*FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!*


----------



## Luv2BNaughty

It's a stuffy 86 degrees today. I'm already dreading summer temps.


----------



## Mathias

I knew I'd find it eventually.


----------



## CleverBomb

I don't even _have_ a little dog, "Toto."

-Rusty


----------



## bigpapi4u

"I'm getting to old for this shit"


----------



## MRdobolina

clear path my a$$


----------



## bigpapi4u

"That's what she said"


----------



## Mathias

I'm trying to stay positive today, but it isn't helping...


----------



## MattB

Last one to leave turns out the lights.


----------



## CastingPearls

The spell has been broken; I loved you so.


----------



## CleverBomb

I reject your "reality" and substitute... reality. 

-Rusty


----------



## bigpapi4u

whats donde is done just leave it alone and dont regret it


----------



## CastingPearls

Fathers be good to your daughters, daughters will love like you do.


----------



## Mathias

May the odds be ever in your favor.


----------



## CleverBomb

It doesn't taste like bleach, but then again, my culinary heritage includes lutefisk.

-Rusty


----------



## Linda

...and this is why I don't go to the doctor.


----------



## bigpapi4u

mmm cookiees


----------



## AuntHen

.................................................


----------



## spiritangel

Easter and no chocolate


----------



## rellis10

I hail from the Land of Eng!


----------



## LeoGibson

Surlysomething said:


> Fuck all y'all.



And boom goes the dynamite!! 

Perfect use of the all y'all!


----------



## Lovelyone

I forgot how truly good this movie was.


----------



## bigpapi4u

Next question ....


----------



## Linda

My drawing skills seem to be getting worse. lol


----------



## bigpapi4u

Linda said:


> My drawing skills seem to be getting worse. lol



Lol you're doing great


----------



## Linda

bigpapi4u said:


> Lol you're doing great



 

lol

New random sentence....

Sand carvings out at the lake this morning. Bad decision to put the Jesus carving next to the big penis. :doh:


----------



## rellis10

Linda said:


> lol
> 
> New random sentence....
> 
> Sand carvings out at the lake this morning. Bad decision to put the Jesus carving next to the big penis. :doh:



Might just be me... but that sounds like a good decision


----------



## spiritangel

Love come save me now......


----------



## CastingPearls

You crave attention and affection and bitch when you don't get it, but whenever anyone gives it to you, you reject it and I just don't want to deal with your bullshit anymore, no matter what your reasons are, no matter how legitimate you think your reasons are.


----------



## Linda

Wow! I never thought I would have gotten that apology.


----------



## Mathias

Just remember, you were warned.


----------



## TwilightStarr

My anxiety makes me hate taking new medicines but I really appreciate this antibiotic working so fast and my tooth isn't hurting half as much as it was!


----------



## rellis10

The shadows of the past can shed light on the present


----------



## CleverBomb

Hmmn. It wasn't supposed to do that, either.

-Rusty


----------



## willowmoon

Why does my right nipple always get perkier than my left one?


----------



## lovelocs

Ohhhhhhhh Don Pianoooooooooooo....


----------



## TwilightStarr

I don't know why but all of a sudden I want to slow dance with someone to some amazing music.


----------



## spiritangel

Holy Hillarity [email protected]


----------



## CastingPearls

Wow you really are just a piece of shit punk loser after all.


----------



## LeoGibson

Well, now you know what to do next time you go for a swim in everyone's shit and piss at the waste treatment facility.


----------



## CleverBomb

Weapons system does not demonstrate required degree of maturity. 

-Rusty


----------



## Mishty

Insomnia ohhhh how you love to taunt me!


----------



## Mathias

I wonder what the best course of action is to take...


----------



## penguin

I need a thigh massage.


----------



## spiritangel

ouch my head


----------



## MattB

Calgon, take me away...


----------



## TwilightStarr

Act your age not your motherfuckin shoe size!!


----------



## AuntHen

There must have been an angel by my side, something heavenly led me to you...


----------



## spiritangel

better get dressed she will be here any minute


----------



## MattB

Thursday didn't win.


----------



## Mathias

I guess no one told them If it ain't broke, don't fix it.


----------



## Inhibited

Fingers Crossed...


----------



## spiritangel

why do I have these damn bright Ideas?


----------



## HeavyDuty24

But i've got all the time for you luuuuv.


----------



## MattB

It feels so good to have things done before 10am...


----------



## Lovelyone

Supposed to rain today...I see that you peeked your bright shininess in through that cloud curtain.


----------



## Mathias

As of last night, I now officially have my own team of paparazzi.


----------



## penguin

I wonder how many cool mum points I get for having my daughter's birthday party at McDonald's.


----------



## Mishty

I'm moving on.


----------



## Lovelyone

Telling your kids that they cannot have pizza (after you promised them they could) causes me some distress, since I was going to order one for myself. GRRRRRR. Now I cannot...because that would not be fair to eat in front of them.


----------



## WVMountainrear

Dark hair is DARK.


----------



## penguin

Confusion reigns supreme.


----------



## bigpapi4u

loving someone and loving what you are next to someone is not the same


----------



## CleverBomb

Somebody said to me, "you know that you could be in love with almost anyone".

-Rusty


----------



## spiritangel

I really just want to say fuck you all but that wouldnt be fair to Shaylyn


----------



## AuntHen

we must never veer from our schedule nor break into bouts of spontaneity


----------



## penguin

Even on a kink site, messaging someone with "have you/would you circumcise your sons" is not an acceptable way to introduce yourself to someone.


----------



## spiritangel

You will not bring me down with your anon comments and cruel words.


----------



## MattB

One more to go Andy!


----------



## MrSensible

"Bad luck and extreme misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity"

Fortune cookies can say the damnedest things


----------



## Lovelyone

Your shampoo makes your hair smell like fruit salad.


----------



## MrSensible

I'm no longer young enough to know everything.


----------



## CastingPearls

And when I say 'we', I mean 'you' cos I'M PLAYING ANGRY BIRDS!


----------



## Mathias

I care about you more than he ever will, and I'm going to prove it to you.


----------



## lovelocs

No sugar tonight in my coffee, no sugar tonight in my tea...


----------



## spiritangel

Well we all do stupid things somedays rolls eyes at self


----------



## rellis10

Is it good enough? I have no idea :doh:


----------



## rockhound225

F'ing seals, man.


----------



## penguin

I'm drained.


----------



## rellis10

Well that's..... disturbing


----------



## TwilightStarr

Randomly went and looked at my old myspace account, good lord I was a completely different person back then!

Sometimes I don't realize how much I've changed and grown up, some days I still feel like that girl :/


----------



## MattB

Time for some six-string therapy.


----------



## penguin

I'm a bad, bad girl. But I'm oh so good at it.


----------



## Mathias

It's like the only thing you ever say is "Doesn't matter, had sex!"


----------



## CleverBomb

It's the touching coming-of-age story of a boy whose life takes a turn for the strange* when a young woman comes to town, runs him over with a motorscooter, then hits him in the head with her chainsaw-powered electric guitar. 

-Rusty
*strange doesn't even _begin_ to describe it.


----------



## CastingPearls

Tonight will be fine.


----------



## Lovelyone

It'll all be over soon. (it sounds cryptic...but it's not)


----------



## spiritangel

no matter how much I don't want to I have to go....................


----------



## CastingPearls

Don't touch that squirrel's nuts! It'll drive him crazy!


----------



## Mathias

This could prove to be VERY useful to me.


----------



## penguin

CastingPearls said:


> Don't touch that squirrel's nuts! It'll drive him crazy!



Hey! That was my line!


----------



## lovelocs

Technology makes it all too easy- don't.


----------



## TwilightStarr

I can't wait for Jana Kramer to come back to Louisville!!


----------



## Lovelyone

I've got terrific friends!


----------



## CastingPearls

My story is a lot like yours only more interesting because it has robots in it.


----------



## Mathias

Hard to believe I'm still that good at Mario Kart even when the screen flipped itself upside down.


----------



## AuntHen

I get my strength from God and laid it at His feet long ago.


----------



## Linda

As far as syndromes go I think I will take that one please.


----------



## WVMountainrear

New clothes are awesome.


----------



## CastingPearls

lovelylady78 said:


> New clothes are awesome.


I swear, it's the biggest high, to me. Well....second biggest.


----------



## MattB

The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades...


----------



## Mathias

&#8206;"Bite you once, bite you twice, a little water, pay the price!"


----------



## samuraiscott

I don't know but I wish I did know, because then, I would know.


----------



## WVMountainrear

Well that sure is the absolute WORST nightmare I've had in recent memory...


----------



## Lovelyone

Sorry, I don't know the magic words that turn crackers into chocolate.


----------



## samuraiscott

Sometimes owning up to what you are is hard; especially when what you are is despicable.


----------



## spiritangel

Mr Postman where are you?


----------



## Mathias

When The Dark Knight Rises, The Avengers will disassemble.


----------



## spiritangel

Mathias said:


> When The Dark Knight Rises, The Avengers will disassemble.



Best Sentance Ever shame I can not rep you atm


----------



## CAMellie

This is a random sentence so this site will stop prompting me to post something


----------



## rellis10

I feel like one of those really pretentious artists who make sweeping idealistic comments about the state of society....


----------



## Surlysomething

_Before all of this ever went down_
_In another place, another town,_
_You were just a face in the crowd_
_Out in the street walking around..._


----------



## spiritangel

Hurry up grocery delivery a lot to do today and need some of the groceries for a parcel


----------



## penguin

Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen Acres is the place for me.


----------



## Lovelyone

Mathias said:


> When The Dark Knight Rises, The Avengers will disassemble.



This reminds me of a saying that I said to my broken hearted niece:
When the demi-gods depart, the Gods shall arrive.


----------



## TwilightStarr

I am super nervous/excited about going to the dentist on Friday! 
Nervous because I mean who isn't nervous when they get teeth pulled out of their mouth also I have horrible panic attacks! 
But I am really excited too because my mouth will me super much better and now that I am taking care of myself and making positive life changes this is just one of the many good things to come in my future! 

:/


----------



## CastingPearls

Branches are bare with a pulse underneath
Flowering slowly inside
Your hands are warm and my body is wide
To hold all the promise of blue-velvet dark and stars


----------



## Lovelyone

that's the best laugh I have had in years.


----------



## CAMellie

That's all she wrote, folks!


----------



## Linda

I can't breathe, for the darkness is smothering me.


----------



## HottiMegan

Living on the forest its fun. I hear wild turkeys outside.


----------



## Lovelyone

M&M's and aspirin do not taste good together.


----------



## rellis10

If you have to advertise a movie with the line "Zac Efron Just Got Hotter".... you fail.


----------



## Linda

Some addictions are good.


----------



## MattB

This record is going to have a lot of fade outs...


----------



## CastingPearls

This vanilla cream protein shake tastes like toothpaste. Blechhh.


----------



## Mishty

Country & folk have claimed my summer.


----------



## Lovelyone

I am not your crack (candy) supplier.


----------



## AuntHen

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.


----------



## CAMellie

Dark chocolate Reese's pieces *drool*


----------



## spiritangel

Needs to make money stat


----------



## AuntHen

The strongest evidence of love is sacrifice ~Carolyn Fry


----------



## CastingPearls

That is How You Survived the War.


----------



## rellis10

Some say I absorb moisture from the air... like a human sponge


----------



## BBWbonnie

Bandy legged witch and the glitter nits raging waaaaaaaaar


----------



## Lovelyone

That's right, shovel it in.


----------



## AuntHen

must you *advertise *all the time?


----------



## Linda

Why do you turn on the hose and walk away?


----------



## MattB

Birdie...Num-Num...


----------



## Lovelyone

The weather makes me want to sleep.


----------



## Mishty

Too much alone time,yo.


----------



## MRdobolina

bored hands find their way inside the pants


----------



## stoneyman

wait, what?


----------



## MattB

They can't stop The Crew, The Crew is me, The Crew is you, yeah we're The Crew!

xXx


----------



## TwilightStarr

Having your old friend who was once in a metal band sing Biz Markie at your belated birthday party is AWESOME!!


----------



## BBWbonnie

I really do wish we lived on that island


----------



## Lovelyone

The glare from my window--on my t.v.--makes Jensen Ackles look like he's got a white Charlie Chaplin moustache.


----------



## Mathias

Oh, real good. Have fun cleaning that up in the morning.


----------



## MattB

Be happy dammit, just be happy.


----------



## CastingPearls

The banana tastes better.


----------



## NewfieGal

Night shift would not be a s long if others were awake as well...talking makes time go faster


----------



## Linda

I just feel numb.


----------



## CleverBomb

Keter class objects are always inherently dangerous, despite the best containment procedures possible: the threat level may range from global armageddon to simply killing everything around it.

-Rusty


----------



## Ample Pie

All blue ghosts search for signs of you.


----------



## TwilightStarr

I used to go to Hip Hop shows once in a while when I was in my early 20's, went to one last night for the first time in years and realized I was an overdressed white girl that had word vomit!


----------



## Linda

Chimpanzee- worst mother's day movie ever. lol


----------



## CAMellie

We love you, but we _will_ leave you.


----------



## Timberwolf

Pain, you can leave me now. I'm sick of you.


----------



## Linda

Umm I don't think that comes in my size.


----------



## CastingPearls

I don't know why they make specimen cups for pee the size of shotglasses now but I DID IT YAAAAAAAY!!!!!


----------



## BBWbonnie

Agrh wish I wouldnt have given out my number......

And I hate that when my phone rings I jump towards it thinking it's a certain person even though that's not good for meeeeeeeee:doh:


----------



## danielson123

In hindsight, it probably wasn't a smart idea to fill in the 'Other known aliases' area on one of my applications with Rusty Shackleford . . . Shi-shaw!


----------



## TwilightStarr

Some people only listen to Adele when they are sad and that makes me sad 
She is so amazing, I sometimes listen to her all day, everyday!


----------



## J34

Mr. Broflovski: Aren't weekends the best? 
Mr. McKormick: When you're unemployed, weekends are meaningless.


----------



## CleverBomb

Hey I heard you collect Pokemon, if you took me home it'd be a home run... 
... Hey, I herd you liek mudkipz (mudkipz, mudkips, mudkipz...)

- Rusty


----------



## rellis10

why does it feel horribly patronising that i'm 23 and I have to do homework? oh boy


----------



## Surlysomething

rellis10 said:


> why does it feel horribly patronising that i'm 23 and I have to do homework? oh boy



It's not homework when you're an adult. It's overtime.

Haha.


----------



## MattB

A verrrrry Merry Unbirthday, to you!


----------



## Weirdo890

When dealing with the police, there is no "home base" or "backsies".


----------



## rellis10

Please accept this sandwich as an offer of solidarity...


----------



## Weirdo890

I pose in solidarity with you!


----------



## NewfieGal

Be yourself no one does it better then you


----------



## Weirdo890

I could kick myself for that.


----------



## Surlysomething

Robaxacet Platinum, do your magic.


----------



## SD007

You know when a dog spits on a cactus and then it melts into the wet asphalt,
and you don't know whether you should stay awake or lie down even if your
eyes are burning... it's like that.





i am not high


----------



## Weirdo890

Argle Flargle Blargle!!


----------



## CleverBomb

He tries. He tries _so hard_ to be our doom.

-Rusty


----------



## AuntHen

Where the heck is OWA


----------



## Mathias

This is going nowhere fast. :doh:


----------



## Lizzie

What was I thinking?


----------



## spiritangel

hmm do I love it or hate it


----------



## Lovelyone

I don't care if she does...it's not worth it to me to be that much invested.


----------



## penguin

I think I need to just give up.


----------



## MattB

And now I'll never, gosh it's hot, never see my bunny rabbit again.


----------



## AuntHen

I think of your kiss as the days roll by and I'll write the words you love...


----------



## Weirdo890

The fact that Michael Bay has a career is proof that the hit man I hired sucks!


----------



## MattB

Roll away...the dew...


----------



## prplecat

If I quit cooking, I won't have to do dishes anymore.


----------



## Weirdo890

Who Are The Brain Police?


----------



## gunther

Yin Yang, my friend from Beijing, lives a balanced life.


----------



## Mathias

I'll fix that tomorrow, ok?


----------



## penguin

Oh, I know who I'm going to nominate for "asshat of the year."


----------



## Weirdo890

I have found the Biggest Douche in the Universe!


----------



## BBWbonnie

Chocolate drops from the bat shit treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


----------



## Weirdo890

When did bullshit become our biggest export?


----------



## Deven

Today is the 50th anniversary of the Centralia, PA coal fire starting.


----------



## spiritangel

I am so very very lucky


----------



## Mathias

Let's see what happens.


----------



## rellis10

There are only so many badgers a man can take!


----------



## J34

I'm not a dentist, get out of my office!


----------



## MattB

What the hell is that thing???


----------



## Weirdo890

Gah!!! Don't ever do that!


----------



## penguin

It's not enough.


----------



## Lovelyone

You are not supposed to put your finger in your nose...and NO you cannot put it in my nose either.


----------



## penguin

It's nipply weather here.


----------



## MattB

I'm surrounded by chaos.


----------



## Surlysomething

Is she really going out with him?


----------



## rellis10

"This road belongs in a horror movie...."


----------



## Mathias

You've got to be kidding me!


----------



## The Fat Man

God I love trees.


----------



## spiritangel

Woolworths customer service you better live up to what you said you would do or I will be on the warpath


----------



## CastingPearls

'Next time bring a clean pair of panties so you can sleep over.'


----------



## spiritangel

Lived up to and beyond! Wish I could remember who I spoke to because I am mucho impressed


----------



## Linda

Ow that bloody hurt.


----------



## CAMellie

Punctuation is our friend.


----------



## CastingPearls

'I'm not leaving this store until I get free samples of lube with purchase as advertised *reads name-tag*, Justin.'


----------



## spiritangel

I feel like I should be in Vegas with this Lucky streak


----------



## ClashCityRocker

i would fight a bear if my reward for not dying was mashed potatoes.


----------



## MattB

Wet sanding is boring.


----------



## Sugar Magnolia

Why would I take a pic of THAT?


----------



## Mathias

Rocko's Modern Life got away with alot. :blink:


----------



## WVMountainrear

You should twirl more.


----------



## CAMellie

OMG it buuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnsssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## MrSensible

Ending a sentence with a preposition is just the sort of poor grammar up with which I shall not put.


----------



## CAMellie

Punctuation...seriously. It won't hurt.


----------



## Lovelyone

WhyshouldIusepunctuationifIdontwanttoandbadgrammarishowiroll 

Sorry guys, I couldn't resist.


----------



## spiritangel

wonders at the differences in teachings of grammar between countries.............


----------



## danielson123

Non-lean meats: They're impossible to escape. I must stay vigilant.


----------



## rellis10

"You know what the Swedes are like...."

No, I really don't


----------



## Mathias

Never test the fury of a patient man.


----------



## CleverBomb

I should point out, the antishark doesn't have any anomalous panic-causing properties.

-Rusty
(This made perfect sense in context where I found it.)


----------



## MattB

Paint stripper should clear my sinuses, right?


----------



## Lovelyone

I don't know why they do that...maybe it makes it taste better.


----------



## Mathias

Man, my name's not even Steve!!


----------



## Mishty

Weird shit,bad shit and shady shit; yay Mondays!


----------



## AuntHen

the show must go on _Freddy Mercury


----------



## needgoodname

What were you thinking?


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

After a much needed absence it feels good to be back.


----------



## rellis10

Why did 50 million people download this..... oh, that's why!


----------



## AuntHen

in honor of Christoph I am considering making an "Ask A Drunk Fattie Anything" thread hahahahaha


----------



## MattB

Will smog tarnish the silver?


----------



## Lovelyone

Hello Handsome, where've you been all my life?


----------



## CleverBomb

*UNTIL MY UNDETECTABLE EXTERMINATION*, I, FRANCIS E. DEC, ESQUIRE, 29 MAPLE AVENUE, HEMPSTEAD, N.Y. *I STAND ALONE* AGAINST YOUR *MAD DEADLY WORLD-WIDE CONSPIRATORIAL GANGSTER COMPUTER GOD COMMUNISM* WITH WALL to WALL DEADLY GANGSTER PROTECTION, *LIFE LONG SWORN CONSPIRATORS MURDER INCORPORATED ORGANIZED CRIME, THE POLICE AND JUDGES, the DEADLY SNEAK PARROTING PUPPET GANGSTERS USING ALL THE GANGSTER DEADLY FRANKENSTEIN CONTROLS.*

-Rusty
(Random enough? I've been looking for that one for decades...)


----------



## rellis10

In and out like well lubricated lightning


----------



## Mishty

How quickly things can turn from shit to awwwsome!


----------



## spiritangel

what do I want to eat for the next two weeks..........


----------



## Lovelyone

Oh, so that's how they get them in there.


----------



## Captain Save

It seemed like such a good idea at the time...
:blink:


----------



## WhiteHotRazor

Is chili considered a soup?


----------



## Linda

What? You don't believe me?


----------



## MattB

Watching TV is a choice, not an obligation.


----------



## Mathias

Every time I go to RetroJunk.com time seems to just automatically warp to 4:30am.


----------



## spiritangel

I want to do it all over again


----------



## needgoodname

I don't know what you're asking, or why you're asking it, but seriously, a penguin and a zebra and a parachute sounds like some kind of sick, possibly obscene, crazy and just plain stupid joke you'd hear on a lame radio station listing the worst ever jokes from the past decade, then you wonder why that radio station is even doing this and shouldn't they quit if this joke about a penguin and a zebra and a parachute is the best they can do?


----------



## TwilightStarr

Mathias said:


> Every time I go to RetroJunk.com time seems to just automatically warp to 4:30am.



Glad I'm not the only one this happens to!


----------



## CastingPearls

Was her mugshot at least pretty?


----------



## Mathias

The Mr. Freeze bossfight makes me panic every time.


----------



## samuraiscott

CastingPearls said:


> Was her mugshot at least pretty?



Not pretty enough, Elaine. Not pretty enough.


----------



## spiritangel

Why does everyone want to talk to me when I have blogs to do but am soooo exhausted already I need a nap


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

Mathias said:


> The Mr. Freeze bossfight makes me panic every time.



You and me both brother.


----------



## Captain Save

You don't see me telling on you, so don't go telling on me.


----------



## MattB

This is just between you and me...Smashed Hat...


----------



## Mathias

Maria, COME OVA HERE!!


----------



## spiritangel

some days just suck


----------



## TwilightStarr

I am super tired but I shall not sleep until I read at least one chapter of 50 Shades of Grey


----------



## rellis10

You can't give Viagra to a hamster!


----------



## TwilightStarr

I just gave my friend 4 books, computer speakers, and hot sauce coupons.
She was a happy girl! lol


----------



## CAMellie

I WILL stab you with my nails!!


----------



## Mathias

Nobody wants to have a Nerf Gun fight with me in Wal Mart. Lame.


----------



## Lovelyone

Mathias said:


> Nobody wants to have a Nerf Gun fight with me in Wal Mart. Lame.



I would, but you would win cos I am a bigger target!




and my random thing is:
Wow, I didn't know that I still had it in me. *pants heavily and pants again.*


----------



## WhiteHotRazor

Every used record store has a copy of Grover Washington Jr.-Winelight


----------



## Lovelyone

Where do I know him from?
or
From whence do I knowest thou?


----------



## kaylaisamachine

The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42.


----------



## Mishty

I am queen of ignoring numbers with out of state area codes,thank god I faltered.


----------



## Mathias

Friendly reminder, don't feed the trolls!


----------



## rellis10

Yeah, you're definitly Schizophrenic.


----------



## spiritangel

hmmm knew I forgot to post pics somewhere


----------



## Lovelyone

kaylaisamachine said:


> The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42.



I thought it was to circle the letter c on the question form.


----------



## russianrobot

Yeah that's definitely a monkey with a chainsaw


----------



## samuraiscott

It was real. And I needed it. Thank you Mama and Daddy.


----------



## kaylaisamachine

Back up bitch, this is my house!


----------



## spiritangel

kaylaisamachine said:


> The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42.



You know I so hope Stephen Fry tells the world the reason for this before he dies or at least has it recorded somewhere


Soooo many Dragonflys


----------



## Linda

Party time is over and I have the hangover to prove it.


----------



## MattB

Suck a lemon.


----------



## Surlysomething

I loved you on purpose...I was open on purpose


----------



## Lovelyone

Please, for the love of all that is holy, put on a shirt!


----------



## rellis10

Satan quit slapping me!


----------



## CAMellie

I swear to Jeebus I will cut you!!


----------



## Linda

I wish I could say the things I want to say to you but I can't so I wont but I still want to.


----------



## samuraiscott

Linda said:


> I wish I could say the things I want to say to you but I can't so I wont but I still want to.



If it is to me you can say anything, and I hope you know that.


----------



## samuraiscott

I would tell you to take a step back and look at the wreckage that is our friendship but I think you were never really my friend.


----------



## spiritangel

Chocolate cake for brekky oh yes please


----------



## TwilightStarr

I shall take a break from Mr. Grey to read the newspaper and watch a movie.


----------



## CastingPearls

I hope you never get another chance to do to someone what you did to me.


----------



## WVMountainrear

That was certainly a compelling speech to kick off a new series.


----------



## MattB

That's me in the corner.


----------



## Mishty

I value my privacy above all else.


----------



## Linda

samuraiscott said:


> If it is to me you can say anything, and I hope you know that.



LOL No it's not you. 










This new an improved you is kind of refreshing.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

Given that knowledge is power, there really ought to be a Schoolhouse Rock song about getting laid and/or losing one's virginity: "Oh, Humping Junction, what's your function? Hooking up nerds, and hopeless causes..."


----------



## WhiteHotRazor

I have no idea what I did before microfiber towels.


----------



## spiritangel

so glad I talked myself out of 5kilos I just dont eat that many to justify the purchase even at such a remarkably cheap price.


----------



## rellis10

Embrace every chair the world has to offer!


----------



## J34

Stupid fly, leave my room! Its been 6hrs!!! I even opened both windows Y......U.....NO.... LEAVE?....&#4314;(&#3232;&#30410;&#3232;&#4314


----------



## ODFFA

That ugly-ass mantis better be praying!


----------



## spiritangel

why do I wait and wait then have to play catch ups


----------



## rellis10

My suckage probably broke the space/time continuum...


----------



## Lovelyone

IS it a coincidence that you waited until 2 mins AFTER I signed out before you msg'd me?


----------



## rellis10

I'm either a masochist OR I'm completely insane... haven't got a clue which.


----------



## Mathias

I hate morning television.


----------



## rellis10

"Just because the scenery fell down doesn't mean it wasn't a good play"


----------



## Mishty

What kind of age gap is required to be a cougar at twenty-nine?


----------



## rellis10

"It's lovely being clever when youre mental."


----------



## AuntHen

I can't wait to get out of this state... one more month :\


----------



## kaylaisamachine

I should just be a doctor.


----------



## WVMountainrear

The taint of my feet hurt.


----------



## penguin

I really need to clean my bedroom mirror.


----------



## CleverBomb

Welcome to Fantasy Island -- no access during construction.


----------



## Morganer

It is too damn hot out here.


----------



## rellis10

Sliced bread is the best thing since.....


----------



## Linda

Pretty soon you will realize just how alone you really are.


----------



## ODFFA

"There's something fierce in the heart of a woman. Simply insult her child, her man, or her best friend and you'll get a taste of it."


----------



## samuraiscott

Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.


----------



## MattB

No way that was 15 minutes!


----------



## WVMountainrear

Sweat is fat crying.


----------



## largenlovely

You can act like ya didn't notice it...but I know ya did. Just remember it for future reference..that's a little piece of justice baby


----------



## TwilightStarr

I'm pretty sure this e card was made for me


----------



## MRdobolina

always trust people who like big butts...

they cannot lie


----------



## MattB

I don't like AC/DC.


----------



## Lovelyone

Heat sucks...it sucks donkey balls.


----------



## Mathias

It always seems like things are ten times funnier when you have to be quiet.


----------



## Bigtigmom

I've not been on here for a while and thought I'd pop back in and check things out. Yep still the same old stuff going on. LOL


----------



## ODFFA

Text from best friend says 'only time will tell' - I think she's right.


----------



## Mishty

"Alone in her tower; she chuckled and had another fried confection."


----------



## Mathias

I'm rapidly losing my mind here...


----------



## Lovelyone

Tomorrows are just a bunch of yesterdays that are waiting their turn. *said by a 9 y/o*


----------



## Weirdo890

School rivalries are pointless, as all of the students will be working at the same McDonald's ten years later.


----------



## Surlysomething

When I post pictures here I don't feel like i'm fat enough to garner any attention. How weird is that? Haha.


----------



## penguin

Oh no! Not the briar patch!


----------



## rellis10

"I never even listen to Rob Zombie untill a couple of days ago..."


----------



## kaylaisamachine

Surlysomething said:


> When I post pictures here I don't feel like i'm fat enough to garner any attention. How weird is that? Haha.



I actually feel the exact same way.


----------



## Surlysomething

kaylaisamachine said:


> I actually feel the exact same way.


 

Haha. I hope I don't sound bitter. I just think it's funny.

Plus you have AMAZING hair! I wish I could rep you everyday for it.


----------



## Weirdo890

No one should feel like they aren't good enough to garner attention.


----------



## kaylaisamachine

Surlysomething said:


> Haha. I hope I don't sound bitter. I just think it's funny.
> 
> Plus you have AMAZING hair! I wish I could rep you everyday for it.



You don't sound bitter, I don't think. I just often feel like I'm stuck in between. Not big enough for some people, not small enough for others. 

And thank you so much. You are beautiful.


----------



## danielson123

kaylaisamachine said:


> Not big enough for some people, not small enough for others.



I very rarely leave my comfort zone and say stuff like this, but you're just right for me! You are a much sought-after baby bear: Just right! 

Plus the hair - impossible not to love.


----------



## kaylaisamachine

danielson123 said:


> I very rarely leave my comfort zone and say stuff like this, but you're just right for me! You are a much sought-after baby bear: Just right!
> 
> Plus the hair - impossible not to love.



You are the sweetest. <3 Thanks for that. Baby bear, that's a good way to look at it. Hahah.


----------



## WhiteHotRazor

Damn, that woman at Flat Top really did look like Mick Jagger had a baby with Alf.


----------



## Lovelyone

Can you get pneumonia in the summertime?


----------



## Surlysomething

kaylaisamachine said:


> You don't sound bitter, I don't think. I just often feel like I'm stuck in between. Not big enough for some people, not small enough for others.
> 
> And thank you so much. You are beautiful.




You're a sweetie. Thanks!


----------



## samuraiscott

I feel like I have been here before.


----------



## Sugar Magnolia

It's a _dry_ heat.


----------



## thatpumpkin

This program is hard to learn


----------



## rellis10

It's the LONDON Olympics... so why the hell are we playing football in CARDIFF?! It's not even in the same country!!!


----------



## Tad

rellis10 said:


> It's the LONDON Olympics... so why the hell are we playing football in CARDIFF?! It's not even in the same country!!!



What, you mean the commuters to London haven't started colonizing Cardiff yet? http://www.raileurope-world.com/spip.php?page=sales&re_domain=ptp&re_oper=results The 5:55am from Cardiff gets you to Paddington station at 8:02, while the reverse 6:45pm gets you back before 9pm--a little over 2 hours on the train each way....you'd think some people would be mad enough....and then by definition Cardiff would be a bedroom community to London!


----------



## Mishty

A random and very unplanned visit...and I didn't get annoyed.(?)


----------



## spiritangel

Hurry up and arrive already I want to do stuff and I cant till you get here grrr


----------



## MattB

I need to go on my "once-per-year" clothes shopping trip.


----------



## Morganer

Only the one brand fits properly.


----------



## ODFFA

Never thought the word 'routine' would be such music to my ears.


----------



## rellis10

Suck my crumpet!


----------



## TwilightStarr

A good hot shower + leftover chinese food from the mall = Me happily content waiting for Big Brother to come


----------



## rellis10

I just got hugged by a lunatic... HELP!


----------



## Mishty

"I have a terrible crush on your sense of humor... among other things"


----------



## largenlovely

I really like you. Please don't mess it up


----------



## samuraiscott

It ain't the smoke that burns ya....it's the fire.


----------



## Weirdo890

If this the Age of Miracles, where the hell are the flying cars?


----------



## WVMountainrear

"And now they've got the-- this is about to turn into a low-budget porn..."


----------



## MattB

Why aren't you making it happen?


----------



## spiritangel

omg they added a bonus day seriously I am behind enough.............


----------



## CastingPearls

So if you see one flying around, she's looking for roach dick.


----------



## ODFFA

Seriously??!!


----------



## WVMountainrear

"Love keeps her in the air when she should fall down."


----------



## CAMellie

Hello CAMellie it appears that you have not posted on our forums in several weeks, why not take a few moments to ask a question, help provide a solution or just engage in a conversation with another member in any one of our forums?


----------



## TwilightStarr

My sister smacked me on the butt earlier and said "I never realized you had a butt like that, that's some good jiggle, you could make some money with that"

LMAO!! WTF?!?!


----------



## spiritangel

Mirror symptoms my behind feels like the real thing to me!


----------



## Linda

Ok I thought that guy was dead. This is awkward.


----------



## KittyKitten

Opinions are like you know what......it ain't that serious.


----------



## kaylaisamachine

This morning will be the death of me.


----------



## MattB

Everything must go!


----------



## AuntHen

It's all about the actions, not words!


----------



## Mishty

No one can break your heart if they can't touch it.


----------



## Surlysomething

"those numbers only reflect the length"


----------



## largenlovely

Why did I always hate casually dating multiple people? I think I kinda like it


----------



## Linda

No one knows what YOU stand for when all you do is complain about everyone else's faults.


----------



## samuraiscott

I'm writing a letter.


----------



## CleverBomb

The story of a woman on the morning of a war: "Remind me, if you will, exactly what we're fighting for?"


----------



## largenlovely

Yay!! You really made my day and I am so greatful. There are good people out there


----------



## MattB

Impulse buy on impulses...


----------



## WVMountainrear

I think I'll eat cake.


----------



## AuntHen

Procrastination is a HUGE red flag to me.


----------



## Surlysomething

Sometimes even the best intentions and your best fight for a situation still won't be enough and you have to move on.

Now is that time. Maybe i'll start to breathe for the first time in 7 months.


----------



## kaylaisamachine

I'm not your booty call.


----------



## Mathias

I love going to Barnes and Noble.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

I fucking LOVE the PNW! Watch out Vancouver, I'm coming to fuck shit up this weekend.


----------



## Mishty

I'm all kinds of fertile....currently.


----------



## Surlysomething

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> I fucking LOVE the PNW! Watch out Vancouver, I'm coming to fuck shit up this weekend.



But I think it's going to rain a bit. BRING AN UMBRELLA!


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

Surlysomething said:


> But I think it's going to rain a bit. BRING AN UMBRELLA!



Sweet, I love the rain!

Also, by "fuck shit up" I mean I'm going to walk around town and take the city in.


----------



## largenlovely

Yay season for season 10 of Project Runway premier tonight!!!!

And

Oooowwwwww hurts tonight gonna hurt worse tomorrow


----------



## Surlysomething

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> Sweet, I love the rain!
> 
> Also, by "fuck shit up" I mean I'm going to walk around town and take the city in.




Haha. I do think you should check out that donut place and then report back to me.


----------



## J34

Every car should have the same bulbs on their cars headlights.


----------



## ODFFA

Scented candle, fish bowl, and Ryan Farish - okay, bring it!


----------



## Librarygirl

I sometimes feel like I work in a sitcom, between the crazy/eccentric people who come into my reading room and moments like this afternoon when the wheel fell off my trolley of books and documents, leaving me stood holding it so things didn't fall off, while holding the door open with one foot and trying to reach a phone with my other hand...And laughing!


----------



## AcedWonderlic

Sure I can do it, it's going to be expensive.......:shocked:


----------



## rellis10

Lemurs, meercats, otters, bundles of birds and one vaguelly grumpy parrot.


----------



## MattB

You have given me no other option than to become a Super-Villain!


----------



## largenlovely

I am so tired of all this damn rain. it has rained for like 3 weeks straight. I swear it better not rain the whole damn summer...total bummer.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

Fuck yes! I don't care if you don't like it, because I feel accomplished.


----------



## Lovelyone

I felt the cold icy grip of death on me today.


----------



## ODFFA

"Sail your sea, meet your storm. All I want is to be your harbor"


----------



## samuraiscott

Why wasn't I good enough?


----------



## largenlovely

Things are really looking up


----------



## Wheels and the Legman

Friends first never works unless your ripped


----------



## Mishty

that was close,too close for comfort.


----------



## Donna

Never underestimate the power of a low-cut blouse and a dab of Chanel #5.


----------



## largenlovely

Donna said:


> Never underestimate the power of a low-cut blouse and a dab of Chanel #5.



Where's a "like" button when ya need one


----------



## yoopergirl

What in the world have I gotten myself into?


----------



## Mathias

"And you think this gives you power over me?"


----------



## TwilightStarr

If I would have known today was going to end up the way it did, I probably would have stayed in bed a little longer.

There aren't enough cuss words for how mad I am right now or enough reasons to explain the moronic ignorance of some people!!!


----------



## MattB

Don't Ease Me In.


----------



## Linda

I am really trying to be happy for you.


----------



## MattB

Yes my friend, we will take the Egg.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

If sports journalists knew as little about sports as science journalists know about science, they'd all be replaced by tomorrow morning.


----------



## largenlovely

Darnit....find me


----------



## Shosh

I love you my darling , love the Wood Nymph:wubu:


----------



## tigerlily

I've decided to speak in Haikus. Nothing but Haikus.


----------



## Librarygirl

That boat has sailed, my friend!


----------



## ButlerGirl09

Here comes the hotstepper...


----------



## largenlovely

I'm a whole heckuva lot stronger than you could ever imagine me to be


----------



## MattB

Was there ever any doubt?


----------



## penguin

My kingdom for some more sleep.


----------



## Linda

Where has today gone?


----------



## CleverBomb

But the angle said to them, "Do not be Alfred. A sailor has been born to you"


----------



## spiritangel

I hate having to wait for new toys to be posted


----------



## penguin

It's big and blue and almost done, though it's not bigger on the inside.


----------



## Surlysomething

You're getting shot down today, lady.


----------



## WhiteHotRazor

I have mysteriously lost my pretzels.


----------



## MattB

Watching the Olympics finally recognize the Ragamuffin.


----------



## TwilightStarr

I learn something new and hilarious everyday from my 4 year old nephew, and today's little lesson was:

Okra is what you feed Unicorns.

LMAO! It was so random and what makes that kid so awesome!!


----------



## samuraiscott

It's amazing not only how small this world is but also this community.


----------



## one2one

That's pretty damn good advise printed inside those foil wrappers.


----------



## largenlovely

Why oh why did I get up at 6:45  now I won't be able to go back to sleep.


----------



## spiritangel

darn it the spending spree is over but goodness I got some great stuff


----------



## Linda

Was I supposed to hold that in?


----------



## MattB

I just swore at a Kleenex box.


----------



## Mathias

I can't get so wound up.


----------



## Linda

I witnessed about 400 people get baptized tonight. Amazing!


----------



## Chapmron

I hope Chicago doesn't lose my luggage.


----------



## ODFFA

The next-best thing it is, then


----------



## CastingPearls

I take it you're not a tripe fan, sweetheart?


----------



## spiritangel

I dont think I have ever sneezed so much....


----------



## TwilightStarr

It makes me giggle when I look back and think that a lot of my late teens/early 20's was spent with a lot of these people 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Wq3RqbZidk


----------



## Linda

When one doors closes...look for the one that has been opened.


----------



## Inhibited

Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world


----------



## Mishty

I fill this void with pizza,and romance novels.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

BLTs with perfect bacon, king of the hill, human rights and homemade mayo...let's do this.


----------



## AuntHen

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> *BLTs with perfect bacon*, king of the hill, human rights and homemade mayo...let's do this.



I just made BLTs the other day and it was one of the first things on my mind this morning (as I have bacon, tomatoes, etc to use up). I would, like, totally give you BLT rep but alas, I am unable. Boo. 


<runs to fry up some bacon. wooooooooooooooo>


----------



## Surlysomething

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> BLTs with perfect bacon, king of the hill, human rights and homemade mayo...let's do this.


 

Although I don't like tomatoes or mayo, I do like the rest of this post.



It's because you live in the PNW. RIGHT?! :bow:


----------



## MattB

That was a "Tripper-esque" misunderstanding!


----------



## PhiloGirl

She said "I'm sometimes traumatized by the things I put in my mouth" and I managed not to laugh.


----------



## genevathistime

I'd like to pour cheese all over you.


----------



## CastingPearls

bahahaha, REVEL!!! REVEL IN THE SECKS!!


----------



## spiritangel

Brown Paper Packages tied up with string (well sort of)


----------



## largenlovely

I think I'm going to learn how to say, "I told you so" in sign language so I can get my point across visually as well.


----------



## Jeeshcristina

Cuddle cuddle cuddle.


----------



## LeoGibson

If you had just one ounce of intelligence you'd be dangerous.


----------



## Surlysomething

all the nuts fell into my cleavage!


----------



## PhiloGirl

Now I want to pour peanuts down my shirt just so I can use that line.


----------



## QuasimodoQT

I think there were twelve.


----------



## Morganer

He believed his power came from eating cardboard.


----------



## prettyeyes77

This is serious shit, don't giggle! :doh:


----------



## balletguy

We need a bigger boat


----------



## Lovelyone

Roll your eyes at me again and see what happens, Little Miss Attitude.


----------



## Mathias

Still can't beat that boss after all this time. :doh:


----------



## rellis10

You're only a nutter if you're wrong


----------



## largenlovely

The liquor store being next door to the library is oddly convenient for me today.


----------



## balletguy

Today may be too hot for clothes


----------



## TwilightStarr

I hate that addicts have the craziest luck EVER!!!


----------



## Mathias

I just want to scream...


----------



## largenlovely

Drunk...kinda wishing I had a booty call guy but kinda glad I don't lol...so basically I'm drunk and horny


----------



## penguin

Some people make me rage so much I want to vomit.


----------



## largenlovely

Yikes...why did I drink all that lol *blush*...going back to bed


----------



## WVMountainrear

The heart isn't blind...it just sees what it wants to see.


----------



## Linda

Treat her like a queen and she will treat you like a king. Play her like a game and she will show you how it's played.


----------



## WVMountainrear

But the grass ain't always greener on the other side...it's green where you water it.


----------



## MRdobolina

bands a make em dance


----------



## CleverBomb

And she sticks the landing! 

(...on Mars!)


----------



## Lovelyone

Why am I thinking about THAT???


----------



## largenlovely

Is there anything better than Dairy Queen's chili cheese fries and chicken strip basket w/ranch dip? Today there isnt .


----------



## Linda

If you have tried everything and it still doesn't work, change your position and look at it from a different angle.


----------



## samuraiscott

It's amazing.....all the things you learn after the fact.


----------



## one2one

If jumping on a soapbox was an Olympic sport, I'd be a medal contender.


----------



## ODFFA

After England, I can't help giggling at the 'it's _snowing_ in South Africa!' :shocked: vibe that's going around today!



TwilightStarr said:


> I hate that addicts have the craziest luck EVER!!!


Just had to also say... I know this feeling!


----------



## WhiteHotRazor

I know a lot of people who would win a gold medal in Pretentious Album Reviewing.


----------



## rellis10

Volume button, volume button.... wherefore art thou volume button!


----------



## MattB

Someday I'll get there...


----------



## Linda

The oven is sending out S.O.S. signals.


----------



## Mathias

That made me cringe.


----------



## MattB

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Conway Twitty...


----------



## TwilightStarr

It makes me sad that I have to avoid the True Blood thread since I don't have HBO and don't want to see spoilers!


----------



## largenlovely

I would almost rather gnaw my own hand off than talk to my mother.


----------



## MattB

Your lack of eyebrows intrigues me.


----------



## penguin

There's a giant space chicken in my bathtub and it keeps trying to eat me!


----------



## largenlovely

I remember now why I don't drink...it takes me a week to feel normal again. I feel old.


----------



## WhiteHotRazor

When that snoring old man bumped his head that must of been one hell of a noggin shaker to not get up in the morning, poor old bastard.


----------



## largenlovely

Where the hell IS everybody......


----------



## Surlysomething

WhiteHotRazor said:


> When that snoring old man bumped his head that must of been one hell of a noggin shaker to not get up in the morning, poor old bastard.




Are you high?


----------



## largenlovely

Omg dude, you totally blew it.


----------



## Lovelyone

Sometimes the relief comes from remaining silent.


----------



## WVMountainrear

"My life is a Meat Loaf song."


----------



## spiritangel

Most Frustrating New toy ever!


----------



## CastingPearls

It's bad enough you don't do the job well, but you cost a fortune and the batteries you require are only made in some obscure corner of Shanghai? REALLY?


----------



## CleverBomb

Deconstructing nursery rhymes about rain and sleeping geezers.


----------



## Deven

The only lesson I got from the movie was that you have to get all hot and buff to get the person of your dreams...


----------



## rellis10

I hate kids... they're like little unending boxes of noise :doh:


----------



## MattB

I've decided on a fez.


----------



## CleverBomb

Just looked at a rock and it was all "What are you lookin' at?" LOL so I nuclear-lasered it and now the others know who's in charge. [email protected]


----------



## rellis10

MattB said:


> I've decided on a fez.



Fezes are cool, didn't you know


----------



## Linda

What the hell just happened?


----------



## MattB

rellis10 said:


> Fezes are cool, didn't you know



I KNOW!


----------



## Linda

Wow! This never happenes.


----------



## penguin

I. Are. Drunk.


----------



## spiritangel

Why are you always on the other side of the planet?


----------



## largenlovely

I really need to get a shower cap.


----------



## Mathias

You just lost the game.


----------



## Linda

The bandages just don't hide the pain inside.


----------



## Librarygirl

WHY?!!!! What do you actually want?


----------



## Lovelyone

Kidney infections suck ass.


----------



## largenlovely

I just can't be satisfied at the moment and it sucks.


----------



## CleverBomb

There are times when having a windshield and an extra 35 horsepower come in handy.


----------



## largenlovely

Roseanne is funny but Jackie....Jackie kills me lol


----------



## ODFFA

Man to beggar: "Dude, you lost a shoe."
Beggar to man: "Duuude, I _found_ a shoe!"


----------



## Surlysomething

ODFFA said:


> Man to beggar: "Dude, you lost a shoe."
> Beggar to man: "Duuude, I _found_ a shoe!"


 

Bahahahaha. LOVE IT.


----------



## Mishty

So,another one bites the dust...huh bitch?


----------



## Linda

I always take breathing for granted until I can't do it.


----------



## largenlovely

Linda said:


> I always take breathing for granted until I can't do it.



I understand...I have asthma that only seems to be a problem with aerosols and perfumes..or really strong chemicals even if they're not aerosols too I guess. It sucks...hope u feel better soon


----------



## WhiteHotRazor

Thanks for the free Wifi Burger King.


----------



## WhiteHotRazor

Twist and shout, my way out, and wrap yourself around me cause I ain't the way you found me and I'll never be the same.


----------



## CAMellie

My husband is an awesome burger covered in awesomesauce :wubu:


----------



## WVMountainrear

I should be asleep.


----------



## one2one

Am I the only one who wonders what future archaeologists will think when they recover the digital files?


----------



## danielson123

Lonely days turn to lonely nights.


----------



## MattB

Beauty slept and angels wept...


----------



## Lovelyone

LIfe is like a box of chocolates and in my house they are all poked in the middle to see what flavor is inside.


----------



## spiritangel

I should be creating not cleaning the chaos


----------



## Linda

No one knows what we stand for when we only judge the wounded.


----------



## largenlovely

I avoided twiitter for a long time but I'm now hopelessly addicted. I'm a tweetin' fool. The b-b-bird bird bird..the bird is the word!!


----------



## MattB

We the purple??


----------



## largenlovely

The more ya learn, the more ya realize you don't know anything.


----------



## TwilightStarr

I can't quit listening to "Blood" by In This Moment!!


Blood, blood, blood, pump more through my veins.
Shut your dirty, dirty mouth, I'm not that insane.
Blood, blood, blood, pump more through my veins.
I'm a dirty, dirty girl. I want it filthy.


----------



## Deven

I went into Blockbuster, fully intent on just renting the Hunger Games. I get there... and they handed me pizza, soda, and a poster... I felt bad that I was just going to rent it. Soooo... I bought it.


----------



## Linda

Ready to head to the tar pits.


----------



## spiritangel

It never rains but it pours


----------



## rellis10

I don't care if you ARE Indiana Jones... you do NOT survive an atomic bomb by hiding in a fridge!


----------



## CastingPearls

Make it so.


----------



## rellis10

Courtesy of my friend Tom... "NO MR. MONKEY, NOT THE DOM PERIGNON!"


----------



## spiritangel

I want it so bad


----------



## largenlovely

Man, sometimes I do some dorky assed shit lol


----------



## largenlovely

Really? I'm not gonna complain but...really? Lol


----------



## Inhibited

Working for the weekend... only 5 more sleeps.


----------



## Librarygirl

[Discussion in Reading Room] (REALLY!)
"Why is his beard there"
"Is that a beard?"
"Or is it is wild chest hair climbing up his neck?"
You probably had to be there!


----------



## Lovelyone

OH, where are my cookies??


----------



## Linda

If my brain was not enclosed in my skull I would lose that too.


----------



## MattB

That last sneeze caused a miniature rip in time.


----------



## Donna

Happy Tentacle Day!


----------



## largenlovely

Damn, well ain't that a sumbitch. There's always something.


----------



## Lovelyone

somehow I think I said too much, again.


----------



## Linda

Psst...sometimes just smile and nod.


----------



## spiritangel

How do people find the time for it all


----------



## MattB

It's not me, it's you.


----------



## ODFFA

Note to self: Being inspired is easy, doing something with that inspiration is the challenging, and rewarding, part.


----------



## TwilightStarr

Who wants to come to Louisville and be my date to my friend's wedding in November? :batting: lol


----------



## Inhibited

Get off the internet!


----------



## CleverBomb

The tubes are spastic.


----------



## MattB

I've seen every episode of Storage Wars, ergo, I am now an expert in buying storage units.


----------



## Linda

Along those lines: I have seen everything Star Wars and therefore can lead the rebellion. lol


----------



## MattB

I accept that logic!


----------



## penguin

Linda said:


> Along those lines: I have seen everything Star Wars and therefore can lead the rebellion. lol



I challenge you to show us! Or just dress up and pretend


----------



## Linda

penguin said:


> I challenge you to show us! Or just dress up and pretend



Well this is me with my Ewok head on. LOL 

View attachment 536513_10151697969635533_959063482_n.jpg


----------



## penguin

Hozay - able to diagnose a goat as a goat at 50 paces.


----------



## Vanilla Gorilla

To establish his importance, the Inca Atahualpa commissioned a llawt'u woven from vampire bat hair.


----------



## MattB

We'll try again next week.


----------



## Victoria08

What the f- is this and how did it end up on my iPod??


----------



## spiritangel

Technology hates me


----------



## MattB

What the heck is going on there lately?


----------



## rellis10

There are sheep nearby, not the exploding kind.....


----------



## CleverBomb

I, I want Ewok and roll all niiiiight, and party every day!


----------



## Mathias

Where did all of this nervousness come from all of a sudden?


----------



## Victoria08

I had an 'ah-ha!' moment today where I finally realized he just doesn't care about us.


----------



## Vanilla Gorilla

Snorkel, that is all.


----------



## Librarygirl

Why is there a big blue sequin on my desk?


----------



## largenlovely

Hurricanes suck ass  I am *not* looking forward to the aftermath of being without electricity and my birthday is next weekend


----------



## Lovelyone

Linda said:


> Well this is me with my Ewok head on. LOL



That is A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E.


----------



## spiritangel

Spring is in the Air


----------



## Linda

Now that was awkward. lol


----------



## TwilightStarr

I really want to see the movie ParaNorman!


----------



## Linda

Umm and you're not dating? lol ok


----------



## TwilightStarr

There aren't enough cuss words for how much rage I have in me right now!


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

TwilightStarr said:


> There aren't enough cuss words for how much rage I have in me right now!



I only came into this thread because you posted.


----------



## CAMellie

My living room smells like french toast. I <3 scented candles. :wubu:


----------



## TwilightStarr

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> I only came into this thread because you posted.



Well thanks 

And now I shall go be a total girl and eat some chocolate while hanging out with my book boyfriend Zsadist in an attempt to cheer myself up


----------



## MattB

Have you seen your mother, babayyy, standing in the shadow?


----------



## CAMellie

Once a liar...always a liar.


----------



## Victoria08

It can be hard to feel pretty when people look at you like you're a piece of shit....but then you look down at yourself and think "Nope, I'm pretty damn hot right now. Screw you."


----------



## MattB

I've discovered stylebot for chrome, this place is now purple.


----------



## Linda

&^%#(*&%%$ dryer.


----------



## CastingPearls

If I close my eyes, I can hear you laughing and time is a friend when broken hearts are trying to mend.


----------



## largenlovely

When the world slips you a Jeffrey, stroke the furry wall.


----------



## largenlovely

I am sooooo sick of all this damn rain. It's the storm that won't go away.


----------



## Lovelyone

You might want to look into a good rehab.


----------



## largenlovely

Ugh I hate uncertainty. It makes my nerves bad..I hope I haven't made a mistake...


----------



## spiritangel

ahhh bargains I love you so


----------



## MattB

I'm real happy with these headphones.


----------



## Mathias

Imagine how much more epic Taken would have been if the Hulk was cast as the lead role.


----------



## MattB

Just once I'd like to see Shaggy just LOSE IT on Fred.


----------



## TwilightStarr

MattB said:


> Just once I'd like to see Shaggy just LOSE IT on Fred.



Me too!


----------



## samuraiscott

Ihave felt like crudd all day long.


----------



## spiritangel

Wow Wow and Wow now only if they would all take the time to comment.......


----------



## CleverBomb

It's my chocolate attack.


----------



## Linda

Let's get a move on !


----------



## MattB

Screw you waffle.


----------



## ConnieLynn

blue ankle, bummed out day


----------



## Mishty

A man is only as hot as his salsa.


----------



## TwilightStarr

Who else is addicted to SongPop?


----------



## WhiteHotRazor

I can't remember the last time I watched Cujo.


----------



## Mathias

Alright, that's it!


----------



## Lovelyone

I cried, so? It was a happy ending on Quantum Leap.


----------



## Wheels and the Legman

Pain sucks, but loneliness is the worst pain of all.


----------



## MattB

Weird is, as weird does.


----------



## WhiteHotRazor

There should be a random punch to the face rule that's enforced when people make poor assumptions.


----------



## MattB

"The Nude House of Wacky People" is just the kind of wholesome family entertainment that Japan is known for, Nancy loves it too...


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

Love is not painless, it's poison.


----------



## Surlysomething

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> Love is not painless, it's poison.



Love is an illusion.


----------



## Linda

I hurt in places I didn't even know I had.


----------



## Mathias

It's your loss, have a nice life.


----------



## MattB

If you start me up I'll never stop, most of the time...


----------



## spiritangel

Insomnia sux


----------



## CleverBomb

What is love, anyway? Does anybody love anybody anyway?


----------



## largenlovely

Soooo bored...I need to be rescued.


----------



## MattB

It's really just an opportunity to try something new, if you can handle that.


----------



## CleverBomb

Together again for the first time in 40 years!


----------



## Surlysomething

Can't you have your meeting somewhere else? Leave the doughnuts here though.


----------



## ConnieLynn

TGIF! Two days of not having to be 'nice'.


----------



## CAMellie

Saints Row 2 is awesome!


----------



## Lovelyone

Karma's a bitch, ain't it?


----------



## Mathias

Would it kill you to plan ahead and oh, I don't know, think things through for once?!


----------



## spiritangel

An Aussie in Season 3 of glee Aussie Aussie Aussie!!!


----------



## MattB

I talk like a 1930's gangster now, see??


----------



## CAMellie

Watching Being Human...it's pretty interesting


----------



## TwilightStarr

CAMellie said:


> Watching Being Human...it's pretty interesting



US or UK version?

Everybody says the UK version is better, but I've only seen the US version.


----------



## largenlovely

I soooo hope that wasn't just the alcohol talking


----------



## CAMellie

TwilightStarr said:


> US or UK version?
> 
> Everybody says the UK version is better, but I've only seen the US version.



The UK version. My sister had a mini-marathon of the show and it was pretty darned good


----------



## TwilightStarr

CAMellie said:


> The UK version. My sister had a mini-marathon of the show and it was pretty darned good



I definitely need to check out the UK version then 

I can't wait for the new season of the US version, hate that I have to wait until next year


----------



## MattB

That kicked in so fast!


----------



## CastingPearls

We always said, 'No matter what', so Happy Birthday and make a wish.


----------



## WhiteHotRazor

"I'm at the pizza hut, I'm at the taco bell, I'm at the combination pizza hut and taco bell"


----------



## largenlovely

Are u fucking kidding me? U can't tell me something like that without offering a solution


----------



## MattB

You are Buzz Killington.


----------



## BriannaBombshell

Forget coffee darling, I'm in the mood for tea!


----------



## Tad

I really should have taken some vacation this past Summer.


----------



## largenlovely

Packing for the weekend and it feels like I'm moving residence.


----------



## CAMellie

I hate my in-laws.


----------



## one2one

Of all the things I've ever done in my life, nothing has elicited as much anger and retaliation from others as having a good self esteem and standing up for myself.


----------



## ODFFA

That was one scary-ass haka :blink:


----------



## Linda

Please answer the phone I have things to do this morning.


----------



## Mathias

Things could always be worse...


----------



## TwilightStarr

I am so excited for the new season of SNL to start tonight but I hate that Seth MasFarlane is hosting tonight, I CAN'T STAND HIM!!!


----------



## CleverBomb

Basement Cat is in my house -- he's cool, though.


----------



## rellis10

The cake is in.... start praying!


----------



## ODFFA

rellis10 said:


> The cake is in.... start praying!



:bow: <---- That's for you, btw!


----------



## LeoGibson

Not a chance Maury, I had a vasectomy 10 years ago.


----------



## MattB

No, I could not get less done today.


----------



## CastingPearls

We're more alike than not, so what are you up to that I can't figure out yet, Sweetie?


----------



## Dromond

Ph'nglui Mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.


----------



## CleverBomb

You're being shrill.


----------



## spiritangel

well that was interesting to learn I really did dodge a bullet


----------



## TwilightStarr

Watching the CMA Festival on ABC and I want $1,000 in ones so I can make it rain like I am Lil Wayne when Luke Bryan starts shaking it in them tight ass jeans!


----------



## MattB

It's like the once-cool mall that's now half-empty.


----------



## largenlovely

I never thought I would say that there is such a thing as TOO honest but yeah...I guess there is lol


----------



## CAMellie

Why yes...yes I WOULD like to chew some since smoking it freaks me out


----------



## MattB

Hi there, mind if I scream?


----------



## CastingPearls

I want that beggar's eyes, a winning horse, a tidy Mexican divorce, St. Mary's prayers, Houdini's hands and a barman who always understands.


----------



## Surlysomething

The smell of mayonnaise makes me want to retch.


----------



## Linda

Umm ok...question for you....why were you naked?


----------



## Surlysomething

This here's a story about Billy Joe and Bobbie Sue.....


----------



## CleverBomb

Little ditty 'bout Jack and Diane...


----------



## spiritangel

You will never break me


----------



## MattB

I'm being tested as we speak.


----------



## littlefairywren

If you lick an incense stick it's going to make your tummy sick.


----------



## WVMountainrear

Don't judge someone just because they sin differently than you.


----------



## MattB

Today, I learned about squirrels.


----------



## Dromond

Klytus, I'm bored.


----------



## Linda

()&!%&*^@&*[email protected][email protected]*@^^&$&&!()^@#&@&()!^@#%@%(&*!^$ [sorry I bleeped out all the bad words myself]


----------



## Dromond

Linda appears to not be currently chillaxing.


----------



## LeoGibson

Chah, but isn't it *our* time, Mr. Hand?


----------



## rellis10

"What colour is your abduction?"

Wait... what?


----------



## spiritangel

why do I put myself through this, its madness.


----------



## LeoGibson

You will let me drink at least one cup of coffee before we go out and play.


----------



## CPProp

Birds are flocking to Walmart for their cheap purches


----------



## spiritangel

What an awesome Sunday


----------



## Aust99

Grow my pretties..... Grow!


----------



## WVMountainrear

A roasted chicken shall go in my place.


----------



## LeoGibson

One-handed, on a horse?


----------



## ConnieLynn

How many things can I burn in one meal???


----------



## CPProp

It must be Grimm to be a fairytale


----------



## largenlovely

Wow, did all this shit really just happen


----------



## TwilightStarr

My mornings are always made better by reading the post my 3rd shifter friend puts up while I am asleep.

She posted this one my wall 







&


----------



## Linda

Fee Fi Fo Fum, I smell apple pie.


----------



## Aust99

Three days left on the merry go round....


----------



## largenlovely

I don't mean to make this about me...but I'm wondering what this says about me.


----------



## penguin

I need a chocolate delivery service. Or a cheesecake delivery service.


----------



## Linda

Yabba Dabba...ahh fuck it.


----------



## littlefairywren

Don't carry hatred or anger toward others in your heart, because the bitterness that grows from it will only poison your soul. Let it go...move on.


----------



## Fattitude1

Approved for school today!


----------



## CleverBomb

You'll just have to take my word for it he's handsome, he's impossible to photograph.


----------



## spiritangel

House 10 Amanda zip


----------



## HottiMegan

TGIF! This week was so slow!


----------



## WVMountainrear

He got a pizza *and* a hand job?!


----------



## Linda

You are going to wait until the last possible minute, aren't you?


----------



## Surlysomething

That's more than I got, damn it! 




lovelylady78 said:


> He got a pizza *and* a hand job?!


----------



## Aust99

My reaction to that news surprised me.


----------



## ODFFA

yup, those are the right words... 'zombie' works too


----------



## HottiMegan

Pretty sad. I just read that suicide kills more people than car accidents now.


----------



## rellis10

Your majesty.... put the puffin down!


----------



## Fattitude1

If I didnt know better, I'd think A-Rod was betting against the Bombers.


----------



## CAMellie

It smells like I'm gonna get you pregnant.


----------



## Dromond

That TV show was terrible, and Jackie + roommates like it! :doh:


----------



## samuraiscott

I wonder if Willy Wonka is a FA.


----------



## Dromond

Deadpool is a FA.


----------



## TwilightStarr

Me and my mom had a booth at a local yard sale today and a batty old lady decided not to pay attention to where she was going and ran over half of our stuff 3 times, destroyed an $80 piece of Louisville Stoneware, and almost ran over someone. 
When we finally got her to stop the car she got out and acted like she didn't know what was wrong, got back in her car and drove off

WTF?!?!


----------



## spiritangel

I think i can pull this look off


----------



## penguin

I do not need another cold.


----------



## Fattitude1

Kiss today goodbye and point me towards tomorrow.


----------



## moore2me

If I ask Scotty to beam me up and he is now dead, where will I end up at?


----------



## Dromond

You talk a lot, but you don't say much.


----------



## Linda

Suck it Apria!


----------



## ODFFA

What a question!


----------



## Librarygirl

Fine words butter no parsnips!


----------



## WVMountainrear

I have no idea what to do.


----------



## spiritangel

that is funny you send me an overtly sexual first message and then call me a bleeping rude c for not being impressed by the text speak or response you got.


----------



## HottiMegan

What will become of Dexter?!


----------



## largenlovely

I am sooooo restless.


----------



## ConnieLynn

So freaking tired... I need an evening nap.


----------



## danielson123

I ain't even mad.


----------



## largenlovely

I think I need a rebound boy.


----------



## CleverBomb

You'd think an entire year would be long enough, but you'd be wrong.


----------



## ODFFA

"We know things that we don't even know that we know... That was very Pocahontas of me, but anyway..."


----------



## spiritangel

I am so very very lucky to have you in my life


----------



## Timberwolf

Sure hope I can stay around here for longer this time...


----------



## MattB

I need some peace and quiet.


----------



## Fattitude1

Do you know... The Muffin Man?


----------



## largenlovely

Yes please


----------



## TwilightStarr

"Sometimes I'm terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. The way it stops and starts."

- Edgar Allan Poe


----------



## largenlovely

Man, geeze, just let it go already..I don't wanna talk about it anymore.


----------



## spiritangel

Really? thats the best you could do?


----------



## MattB

You need a distraction of EPIC proportions.


----------



## ODFFA

Ever seen an eleallicrocopotamus before??


----------



## Linda

How many fingers was that?


----------



## spiritangel

You know reading back on all you have written you really are a clueless gutless waste of space I on the other hand am AMAZING


----------



## MattB

Turn around Bright Eyes.


----------



## penguin

Where's the caffeine IV I ordered?


----------



## Dromond

I slept too long.


----------



## samuraiscott

They're coming to get you, Barbara.


----------



## TwilightStarr

Don't wanna take it slow. I wanna take you home, and watch the world explode....


----------



## dharmabean

:doh:, that's about it.


----------



## WVMountainrear

LET'S GOOOO MOUNTAINEERS!! :happy:


----------



## spiritangel

Wow you really are bored and clueless


----------



## CastingPearls

Your high horse is a Shetland pony.


----------



## CleverBomb

Moomat Ahiko St. is just an awesome name for a road.


----------



## spiritangel

Just you and I defying gravity


----------



## Linda

Don't try that shit after you know what you did. lol Ridiculous.


----------



## WVMountainrear

"He had a big, floppy pancreas, Rose."


----------



## Linda

Well on the upside it was nice to get out of the house.


----------



## samuraiscott

He realized while he was judging you that he lived in a glass house. He promptly decided to put down the stone he had in his hand.


----------



## MattB

How I wish, how I wish you were here.


----------



## spiritangel

It would actually help if you knew how to spell his name properly, especially if you insist on pretending to be him


----------



## Surlysomething

I think my face is burned.


----------



## Linda

Only answering the questions you feel like answering is annoying as hell.


----------



## spiritangel

I call shenanigans cause I can


----------



## Dromond

I'm trapped with people who watch shit TV.


----------



## dharmabean

Curling up and sleeping from now until whenever sounds mighty fine.


----------



## MattB

I like the darkness, it's dark.


----------



## TwilightStarr

I don't appreciate the last hour of my life being so bipolar!! 
It went from ridiculous to awesome to "bring me my gun!" way too quick!!!


----------



## CleverBomb

Why, so can I, or so can any man; but will the shenanigans come when you do call for them?


----------



## HottiMegan

SOOOO sleepy!! I hate being kinda sick..


----------



## spiritangel

let the birthday shopping spree begin


----------



## WVMountainrear

"We accept the love we think we deserve."


----------



## largenlovely

lovelylady78 said:


> "We accept the love we think we deserve."



I can't rep u from my phone  boooo

I repped you in spirit though


----------



## spiritangel

So many new adventures and such busy times ahead


----------



## samuraiscott

I shouldn't be up at almost 2 AM thinking about how hurt I am over what you always do to me.


----------



## CastingPearls

Bringing a date to your own divorce hearing; are you spelunking for new depths in poor taste?


----------



## Deven

I've got a pain in my sawdust...


----------



## ODFFA

I don't think you quite understand the hallelujah-ness of this!


----------



## Linda

Morning sickness felt better than this.


----------



## spiritangel

3 more days of peace before the madness begins


----------



## largenlovely

Man, y'all can't give me ONE weekend to myself when I've been looking forward to this for so long? Thanks


----------



## Mathias

Meh, I'll back off on this one.


----------



## CleverBomb

Flowers on the razor wire.


----------



## Crafty Barnardo

What to do this weekend?


----------



## samuraiscott

Here Comes the Razor's Edge.........


----------



## spiritangel

Why do I offer to do these things madness


----------



## largenlovely

*Gag* 

Sorry...it was a reflex


----------



## CastingPearls

It's a year, today.


----------



## CleverBomb

I'd like a banana pudding republic, please.


----------



## penguin

Free trampoline!


----------



## dharmabean

This is how bacon is supposed to be.


----------



## MattB

If you can't find moustache wax, you're not looking hard enough.


----------



## Linda

I need a drink.


----------



## lovelocs

i don't want to clean my house to find my phone- I WANT TO FIND MY PHONE!


----------



## spiritangel

I feel so spoilt


----------



## AuntHen

You may have the rest of the world fooled that you're a sweet and loving *lady *but you're more like a vicious feline in *constant *heat!


----------



## luscious_lulu

My toes are cold.


----------



## CAMellie

Hello CAMellie it appears that you have not posted on our forums in several weeks, why not take a few moments to ask a question, help provide a solution or just engage in a conversation with another member in any one of our forums? 

There! Now shoo!


----------



## ODFFA

I'd like to order some sanity, medium-rare -- does that come with the emotional intelligence? -- K, with some decent sleep on the side for a change. Thanks.


----------



## TwilightStarr

My best friend has decided to start calling me V. Mary, since I have kid(my nephew I've been taking care of for the past 4 months) but I am still a virgin


----------



## samuraiscott

That funky noise you're hearing in the middle of the night is the tightening of the Screws......


----------



## spiritangel

what an awesome couple of days


----------



## CleverBomb

The original machine had a base-plate of prefabulated amulite, surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings were in a direct line with the pentametric fan.


----------



## Donna

There is a difference between confidence and conceit. Just sayin'


----------



## Surlysomething

You're looking more and more manly with every picture you show.


----------



## Linda

Don't judge me because you don't understand the love I have for my step daughters.


----------



## Mishty

Fuck my ass,I'm not sure I can be funny without drugs.


----------



## dharmabean

The fact that blatant irony is so oblivious to some.


----------



## WVMountainrear

"He's had various awkward dates since then, but he's never really delved back into the world of intercourse."


----------



## CAMellie

My hubby says I'm "adorkable" :wubu:


----------



## CleverBomb

I'm the guy on the orange motorscooter -- and I'm fine with that.


----------



## rellis10

If knowledge is power, and power corrupts.... does that mean knowing nothing makes you pure?


----------



## Aust99

Swollen ankles and sore toes but totally worth it.


----------



## ODFFA

"Beau, beau, de bas en haut" :happy:


----------



## Linda

Call already!


----------



## CPProp

Had to recharge my battery hen today.


----------



## CPProp

With practice a lighting conductor could play the minute waltz in 30 seconds


----------



## MattB

Best part of the day.


----------



## Victoria08

I wish he would e-mail me back...I miss him.


----------



## WVMountainrear

"I'll have you know, there is a long line of men waiting to shit on this pot!"


----------



## AuntHen

ok then, nevermind.


----------



## MattB

Yeah, I figured as much.


----------



## largenlovely

That's kinda not nice...but ok *shrug*


----------



## ConnieLynn

Phone and spin cycle do not mix.


----------



## Mathias

Oh, this should be entertaining.


----------



## Dromond

When Horatio Caine takes off his sunglasses, shit is going down.


----------



## Mathias

The next time you ask me to find your phone for you I'm going to charge money to get it back so you'll learn to carry it around.


----------



## Victoria08

I wonder if it's _every_ post I make...or just the music thread posts.


----------



## penguin

I hope I can pull this off.


----------



## MattB

Let's fold the map and see how close we get.


----------



## CleverBomb

We've already had this discussion -- you don't get to stand on the counter.


----------



## BBWbonnie

I want to be a real fat hippo and live in a tree, maybe have a crocodile bf too


----------



## spiritangel

Bring on the Crop


----------



## MattB

It's a battle against time.


----------



## Victoria08

I saw way too many nipples during my 6 hour shift at work :/


----------



## samuraiscott

Silence speaks volumes.


----------



## largenlovely

Ah now I know who you are and the name should've been the first clue  lol


----------



## ButlerGirl09

I want more mashed potatoes.


----------



## MattB

Calgon take me away!


----------



## Mathias

My area's being hit by Hurricane Sandy (We're alright!) and instead of all this constant news coverage there should be a video of Samuel L. Jackson saying, "Stay the f*** inside."


----------



## dharmabean

OMG MATHIAS!! Samuel L. Jackson has my back. If you ever want to hear the story, let me know... 

Stay safe!


----------



## MattB

44 viewing, no one playing.


----------



## CleverBomb

More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

-Woody Allen


----------



## danielson123

EpisodeFuckingSeven!


----------



## MattB

Hey, I resemble that remark!


----------



## ConnieLynn

Show me your mossy bank.


----------



## Surlysomething

The louder I turn it up, the less I hear you.


----------



## ButlerGirl09

Is it Christmas yet?


----------



## spiritangel

Who knew four women could spend so much


----------



## MattB

Operation Cheap Candy starts today.


----------



## spiritangel

Its grocery day


----------



## CleverBomb

How adorbial! 

(the misspelling is stolen)


----------



## CleverBomb

We can do this the easy way, or the hard way -- but the easy way involves a laser.


----------



## CPProp

Why do traffic lights always go red when I'm in a hurry


----------



## ButlerGirl09

Warm cucumbers are the devil's work


----------



## spiritangel

oh god its the dinner decision time again


----------



## CleverBomb

I've seen... things, you people wouldn't believe.


----------



## CleverBomb

To achieve balance, you need to clear your Hoogra Chakra -- hoogra chakra, hoogra hoogra hoogra chakra.


----------



## Shosh

I love you schmoops :wubu:


----------



## Linda

Please. PLEASE! Don't make three more prequels.


----------



## ConnieLynn

I hate not being able to help.


----------



## MattB

Watching 'IT' again, Tim Curry is giving the biggest acting beatdown in history...not even close.


----------



## Victoria08

I wonder if they plan on giving me my work schedule any time soon.


----------



## samuraiscott

Linda said:


> Please. PLEASE! Don't make three more prequels.



HAHA Yeah no shit! Wanted to rep you but couldn't.


----------



## samuraiscott

I wish I had the power to make heads explode like in the Scanners movie.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HY-03vYYAjA


----------



## CPProp

Bananas at the ready 20 paces take aim and fire.


----------



## TwilightStarr

If you only watch one episode of Saturday Night Live your whole entire life(which would be ludacris!!) it better be tonight's episode, with Louis C.K. and Fun!!!!


----------



## CastingPearls

'Just like an overturned turtle, it was meant to be arousing.'


----------



## MattB

She's the United States Soap Queen.


----------



## rellis10

Tell it to the whales


----------



## KittyKitten

My crazy baby, surfing during a hurricane!


----------



## CastingPearls

'I confess I often go to your pictures to look at you but then find many pictures of cats.'


----------



## Sasquatch!

I love it when you Koo Koo Kachoo.


----------



## spiritangel

motivation where are you?


----------



## Victoria08

Oh....so this is what it feels like to be underappreciated.


----------



## MattB

Up yer nose wit' a rubber hose!


----------



## CastingPearls

'I read that as "magical bras" and spent a very confused three minutes going through the comments.'


----------



## Linda

Still waiting on the Great Pumpkin.


----------



## ~nai'a~

MattB said:


> Up yer nose wit' a rubber hose!



Wouaaaaaaaaahahahaha! I just choked on my chocolate because I laughed so hard... 

Wondering why that poped up in your mind...


----------



## CleverBomb

If I go to the polling place tomorrow and find they've got touchscreens, I'm voting with my feet -- not terribly hygienic, true, but it'd be fun to be able to say I did.


----------



## Linda

Anal probes for everyone! :shocked:


----------



## CPProp

Work so manic, cant tell if Ive been screwed, bored or reamered


----------



## spiritangel

My goodness its tedious


----------



## Scorsese86

I want new mittens, (c'mon, you all know what days it is)!


----------



## Victoria08

Me + Scotch = me dancing around my house to music in fuzzy socks, a tank top, and panties. .


----------



## Sasquatch!

Raven hair, ruby lips--sparks fly from her fingertips!


----------



## rellis10

Money doesn't buy happiness? You, sir, have a distinct lack of imagination


----------



## HottiMegan

Today looks like a good day for a nap


----------



## WVMountainrear

I just need to continue to keep the promise I made to myself almost two years ago when I joined Dims to stay completely out of Hyde Park and not even so much as read a thread there because every single time I do, I want to go all lawyer on someone.


----------



## CAMellie

A free 18lb turkey for buying $75 worth of groceries I was gonna buy anyways? Yes, please!!!


----------



## Fattitude1

Some days you get the elevator, some days you get the shaft.


----------



## CastingPearls

I'm not ignoring you; I'm waiting to see if you'll make an effort.


----------



## MattB

I would like to publicly declare that, going forward, I refuse to google information for myself.


----------



## Linda

Well that was interesting and how it happened I have no idea. lol


----------



## ODFFA

Brother to dad wearing a purple shirt -
"You look like Barney the dinosaur"


----------



## largenlovely

Grrrrrrr nothing I hate worse than a liar, a thief or a cheater >:-(


----------



## Lovelyone

umm, yeah, kid--as much as I love playing with you, please keep that dirty freaking toy outta my face. I do not want to kiss it when you've sat on it, dragged it across the floor and had it outside (God only knows WHAT you did with it out there). NOPE, not going there.


----------



## MattB

Buckwheat has been shot.


----------



## Victoria08

To be completely honest, I'm terrified.


----------



## Mathias

One of Taylor Swift's ex-boyfriends should make a song called, "Maybe you're the problem."


----------



## Mishty

When you almost cause a panic induced aneurysm trying to create a password for the Charmin coupon website,you may very well be too high for the interwebs.


----------



## hal84

Home made chilli ROCKS!


----------



## Lovelyone

said to my cat:
"Yes cat, you may have my bacon, but I NEED all my digits, thank you very much."


----------



## MattB

Is there anything left that isn't fixed?


----------



## hal84

I wonder if Transformers get pissed if they choice a pinto?


----------



## CAMellie

Pooping...pooping would be nice.


----------



## WVMountainrear

"Sonny Bono, get off my lanai."


----------



## LeoGibson

Damn that one was smooth, and I mean smooove!


----------



## CPProp

Why is it always a long way to Tipperary ?


----------



## TwilightStarr

Today I realized I've always had 3 types of guys that are my ultimate favorites!!!

Bald & Tattoos









Dark, Rugged, Sexy








Funny Gingers


----------



## kaylaisamachine

I think I have a problem.


----------



## largenlovely

How in the world did that just happen.....


----------



## dharmabean

The Core of my Apple is Rotten.


----------



## MattB

There's got to be a morning after.


----------



## CastingPearls

I never knew I was built so strong; my heart, my heart is a boat on the sea.


----------



## danielson123

Hello everybody!


----------



## spiritangel

Mr Parcelman did you have to knock like it was an emergency


----------



## CastingPearls

Playing with new puppies seems to dissolve a lot of worries.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

So furry, so fuzzy, oh my god MORE FUZZY, BRING ON THE FUZZ!


----------



## dharmabean

A shower makes a girl sing.


----------



## Fattitude1

But tequila makes her clothes fall off.


----------



## littlefairywren

It's time to find my lady balls.


----------



## MattB

Everyone needs a soundtrack.


----------



## spiritangel

Wow another vanisher returns thinking he can pick up where he left off after no contact for like at least a year good luck Mr hope your strong and can take the snark


----------



## Linda

It was only a matter of time.....bwahahahahahahahaha.


----------



## CastingPearls

A tiger doesn't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep.


----------



## Sasquatch!

Tuna sammiches is tuna sammiches.


----------



## hal84

If you don't know who the one stupid friend is than it's you.


----------



## MattB

Kindly watch your step.


----------



## Mathias

Hahahahaha! Don't care.


----------



## spiritangel

Wow your so interested you vanished again already wow that must be a record of some sort less than 24hrs


----------



## hal84

I will talk to you after I have drank my coffee.


----------



## Aust99

Go away fat face!!!! What happened????????


----------



## hal84

You know your cat needs to lose weight and go on a diet when it gets stuck in the litter box.


----------



## Mishty

I just don't care,I wanna do what my body wants me to do.


----------



## MattB

Adding "A-Go-Go" to the end of anything makes it more fun.


----------



## spiritangel

Mmmmm Malteasers Yumm


----------



## Linda

Go get yourself some balls.


----------



## rellis10

I am a leaf on the wind...


----------



## dharmabean

Hard to put the snake in when there's so much hair.


----------



## TwilightStarr

It's No Shave November! I am going to need all my sexy guys on here to start posting some hairy pictures immediately!!


----------



## CAMellie

Glee sucks this season


----------



## CastingPearls

Premeditated potato.....


----------



## largenlovely

When ya need a quickie, eat a dickie


----------



## Weirdo890

We are living in the future. :shocked:


----------



## Linda

What are you doing over there? It sounds like a herd of cows in your townhouse.


----------



## spiritangel

3 whole years really I am no ones consolation prize


----------



## Linda

I am not just your ordinary girl...I am an experience.


----------



## Weirdo890

Sit your $5 ass down before I make change!


----------



## spiritangel

booyah score


----------



## MattB

I am becoming nougat.


----------



## TwilightStarr

I just watched Breaking Dawn Part 2 and went on the following emotional rollercoaster :bounce::shocked::goodbye:


----------



## spiritangel

the thought of having it be official scares the hell out of me


----------



## samuraiscott

She's absolutely beautiful, but she is a treacherous human being.


----------



## danielson123

Umm, I wanna watch Hamtaro.


----------



## spiritangel

it took 3 tries to get the right colour and of course one had to be broken bah humbug


----------



## largenlovely

Hellooooo *tap tap tap* is this thing on?


----------



## TwilightStarr

Just got my first thanksgiving battle wound of the year, sliced my thumb open while peeling sweet potatoes  it hurts so bad! :sad:


----------



## Linda

Play Ball !!!


----------



## CAMellie

3rd strike...I'm out!


----------



## CastingPearls

I see what you're doing and it's not cool.


----------



## moore2me

"I didn't do it.

No one saw me do it.

You can't prove anything."

-------------------------------
My favorite quote from the Master of Disaster, Bart Simpson


----------



## largenlovely

Hmmm how the hell am I gonna manage *this* one.....


----------



## Morganer

Happy Thanksgiving Day everyone!


----------



## Linda

I feel weird not having corn. lol


----------



## TwilightStarr

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!!


----------



## largenlovely

Happy Thanksgiving from me too everyone


----------



## largenlovely

I feel like I ate a cinder block.


----------



## TwilightStarr

largenlovely said:


> I feel like I ate a cinder block.



Me too!:eat1:


----------



## largenlovely

TwilightStarr said:


> Me too!:eat1:



It's well worth all the pain though lol


----------



## Aust99

Fucking Dancing Queen!!!!


----------



## largenlovely

Waking up at noon having some sour cream coffee cake and a hot cup of coffee...it's a great way to start the day


----------



## simonmick

Mmmm that sounds lazy but also lush and adorable


----------



## largenlovely

simonmick said:


> Mmmm that sounds lazy but also lush and adorable



Totally was an awesome morning


----------



## MattB

180 degree turn in one day, crazy.


----------



## dharmabean

I am totally not getting this.


----------



## largenlovely

Life is not black and white...there are lots of gray areas.


----------



## CleverBomb

According to contemporaneous public documents, everybody was Kung-fu fighting.


----------



## spiritangel

It so much fun playing Amandaclause just wish I had an unlimited budget instead of having to try and stretch mine like an elastic band.


----------



## Fattitude1

Country singer Miranda Lambert's name is a funny sound to my ear; I always want to say "Miranda Lambert ding dong".


----------



## CPProp

Any more rain and I'll develope webbed feet, this weather is quackers.


----------



## spiritangel

please don't die evaporative cooler I need you


----------



## largenlovely

It's every gals right to change her mind..and frequently if she so chooses


----------



## ButlerGirl09

I miss you.


----------



## ODFFA

My granny just sent me a text/SMS, asking if our DVD player is in working order because she wants to bring 'one or two Andre Rieus' when she comes to visit (in 3 weeks' time). Ganzy, you kick ass!!


----------



## CAMellie

Why does it keep happening to me?


----------



## Weirdo890

She's made of Golden Ham!!


----------



## HottiMegan

Never mix root beer and cola.. YUCK! (we have a soda stream and i thought i was adding cola to cola from a partially used bottle..) ugh. IT's weird..


----------



## Mathias

Ah, I'll get 'em next time.


----------



## MattB

Cyber Monday is yet another nail in the coffin of human interaction, and I would like to welcome our robot overlords by saying 0100100001100001011010010110110000100000011101000110111100100000011000010110110001101100001000000111010001101000011000010111010000100000011010010111001100100000011100100110111101100010011011110111010000100001


----------



## CastingPearls

HottiMegan said:


> Never mix root beer and cola.. YUCK! (we have a soda stream and i thought i was adding cola to cola from a partially used bottle..) ugh. IT's weird..


There's a soda flavor that's extremely popular in a lot of Hispanic areas in the NY Metro area called Champagne Punch. Even the store brands have their own version. It tastes like a cross between cola, cheap fruit punch and bubble gum, heavy emphasis on the bubble gum. Not my cup o' tea at all.


----------



## ODFFA

Alrighty then


----------



## hal84

What's that smell? I'm by myself and I know I didn't make that stink.


----------



## HottiMegan

CastingPearls said:


> There's a soda flavor that's extremely popular in a lot of Hispanic areas in the NY Metro area called Champagne Punch. Even the store brands have their own version. It tastes like a cross between cola, cheap fruit punch and bubble gum, heavy emphasis on the bubble gum. Not my cup o' tea at all.



eeww. I think bubble gum flavored stuff loses it's appeal after a certain age.


----------



## HottiMegan

Having a cold and _then_ a stomach bug on top of it should be illegal!!


----------



## Mathias

I'm rapidly running out of patience.


----------



## hal84

Who buys Skim Milk? It's all about 2%


----------



## CleverBomb

I got through Cyber Monday without a single naughty Instant Messenger conversation.


----------



## kaylaisamachine

There's a snake in my boot... literally.


----------



## hal84

Is the above poster making a sex pun?


----------



## TwilightStarr

Internet has been turned off for the past 2 days!! 
I've missed you all so much!!


----------



## AuntHen

Sometimes so much good advice is just... too much.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Hulk smash


----------



## MattB

There are strange things done in the midnight sun...


----------



## CAMellie

I never realized just how very much I wanted it until it was gone.


----------



## Victoria08

NO, I am _not_ from South Africa...or Australia...or Scotland...or Wales...or Ireland...or Boston.


----------



## spiritangel

Why is my to do list constantly getting longer not shorter........


----------



## kaylaisamachine

Just because your boyfriend is staying with us for a few days does NOT mean you get priority over the bathroom in the morning.


----------



## MRdobolina

fred durst tweet on my timeline....


----------



## Tad

There just isn't enough caffeine today.


----------



## spiritangel

You were not supposed to get the whole list and then some it was sposed to give you options...... I really appreciate your kindness though


----------



## MRdobolina

bespoke knowledge for the crispy gentleman


----------



## largenlovely

Jason Momoa is the sexiest man alive. Oh the dirty naughty things I would do to that man.


----------



## MattB

Hello northern sky.


----------



## CastingPearls

It took a whole year but it was totally worth it.


----------



## CleverBomb

You may ask yourself, "How did I get here?"


----------



## HottiMegan

You know your pants are too big when the weight of your cellphone pulls them down.


----------



## Tad

Couldn't this painting have waited until Friday afternoon, so we wouldn't have to sit in the fumes all day long?


----------



## Your Plump Princess

....your loftwing can only catch you if you leap instead of drop... *FFS!*


----------



## Librarygirl

Wondering if I can learn Spanish by Monday lunchtime to impress my new friend Jose!


----------



## spiritangel

Really really want to bitch slap a few people right now and tell them to wake the beep up to themselves


----------



## Lovelyone

Why yes, Kitty...you may have that finger. I didn't really need it. I only used it when I was angry, anyway.


----------



## spiritangel

Im melting...


----------



## ~nai'a~

Aerobatics flying...................Wou houuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! :happy:


----------



## Mathias

I love all the Christmas specials.


----------



## MRdobolina

its a frank ocean, the weeknd kind of day today


----------



## CAMellie

Your resentment is delicious.


----------



## x0emnem0x

Oh you, don't worry about my feelings as long as you're happy.


----------



## Victoria08

Holy fuckballs, I don't think I can set up this new computer :doh:


----------



## MRdobolina

enough about me, and more about myself


----------



## spiritangel

I wish I could trust that you were not going to just vanish again and let go and just enjoy the ride


----------



## samuraiscott

Hate is a strong word but it fits in a sentence that has you as the subject.


----------



## x0emnem0x

I wish I knew how I felt about us, is everything going to be alright?


----------



## TwilightStarr

I really don't get how so much redonkulousness can fit into one day!!

5am wake call from hysterical best friend due to douche bag boyfriend cheating on her, my sister got robbed, and found out a guy I dated in high school died yesterday.

Seriously?! I need to go to bed before something else happens!!


----------



## spiritangel

OMG I came 2nd


----------



## penguin

I hope warm milk helps.


----------



## runningsoft

Why do women who insist on put on make-up WHILE driving / parked at reds insist on honking at the person in front of them for not turning into Mario Andretti when the light turns green. Hold on, we'll all get there...


----------



## x0emnem0x

why did today just have to prove that it's a Monday


----------



## Tad

The reward for getting crap done.....is being given more crap to do. And I do mean crap.


----------



## MRdobolina

x0emnem0x said:


> why did today just have to prove that it's a Monday



one day closer to friday ....


----------



## JenFromOC

I just love how the storm of the century hit just as we were pulling up to get Taco Bell...and had to settle for McDonald's instead. I hate you, Hawaii.


----------



## spiritangel

I cannot believe how happy that just made me


PS Jen this is not about your status grrr to Hawaii for being so mean to you.


----------



## MattB

I didn't want to leave the place, but I know I'll be back someday.


----------



## Lovelyone

Sometimes the simplest gesture can bring another person the greatest happiness.


----------



## MRdobolina

patrice from himym is cute


----------



## kaylaisamachine

The boys are back in town.


----------



## spiritangel

Must think of a project stat to use all my new crafty goodness


----------



## CleverBomb

There is a long standing tradition of rivalry between the task force that runs The Sun Launcher and Team 10 Gazillion Nuclear Detonations All Used At Once.


----------



## runningsoft

I am not a fan of autocorrect on my iPhone! Just sayin'


----------



## ODFFA

I should have _known_ that was my foot headed for my mouth :doh:


----------



## MattB

I just held a Roman coin in my hand.


----------



## spiritangel

Hate it when my sleeping patterns are all wiggy


----------



## Mishty

Where the hell can I find my own fat loving Jew-boy!?


----------



## x0emnem0x

It's 1:30, why am I awake?!


----------



## Victoria08

I hope the power doesn't go out.


----------



## spiritangel

ouch my tummy hurts


----------



## Tad

Being careful with spending gets exhausting after a while. :-(


----------



## rellis10

Ignorant is curable, stupid is forever.


----------



## danielson123

rellis10 said:


> Ignorant is curable, stupid is forever.



You're welcome.


----------



## spiritangel

So this is what 8am looks like


----------



## CPProp

I think the Lottery is a load of balls


----------



## MattB

I guess it wasn't a terrible day, it did end with a hotdog after all.


----------



## x0emnem0x

All I wanna do is play my damn videogame.


----------



## CPProp

People think Im dyslexic because my fingers always hits two keys of my mobile (cell) phone at once.


----------



## Lovelyone

No, you cannot kiss me like that. I am NOT Justin Bieber.


----------



## Victoria08

Hmmm, to post it or not to post it?


----------



## ODFFA

New watermelon eating rule: be sexy with it or leave it be


----------



## x0emnem0x

Really wondering if it was a good idea to volunteer to babysit my niece tonight for 7 hours... 
(her first tooth is starting to come in and she has been reeeeeally cranky lately.)


----------



## MattB

I love it when the kick gets that "sploosh" sound.


----------



## spiritangel

worst nights sleep ever followed by waking up to messages that make me smile


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

Apparently "clindamycin" is Lakota for "shit tornado". :sad:


----------



## largenlovely

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> Apparently "clindamycin" is Lakota for "shit tornado". :sad:



Lmao sorry you're tied to the toilet but this made me laugh.

I never understood the concept of projectile vomiting until I tried a z-pack lol. It's the first thing I blurt out when asked if I have any allergies to medicines lol


----------



## CastingPearls

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> Apparently "clindamycin" is Lakota for "shit tornado". :sad:


Funny (not really) but I thought it meant, 'Stomach Full of Broken Glass and Razor Blades'.
Feel better soon.


----------



## TwilightStarr

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> Apparently "clindamycin" is Lakota for "shit tornado". :sad:



Yeah never again will I take that medicine! Doctor prescribed it to me about a month ago and it gave me the most horrible stomach cramps of my life!!


----------



## Fattitude1

When was the last time you were good and kissed?


----------



## Lovelyone

Good and kissed...together at the same time? Never. (sorry that posting is not about me, but that's the first thing I thought)


----------



## dharmabean

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> Apparently "clindamycin" is Lakota for "shit tornado". :sad:



I'll admit, I had no clue what it was. So I googled it. First thing that popped up, "The most severe common adverse effect of clindamycin is Clostridium difficile-associated diarrhea...."


Sorry your stuck in the loo momentarily. Feel better soon.


----------



## Victoria08

You give me butterflies.


----------



## largenlovely

This dude in line next to me reeked of bologna.


----------



## ClashCityRocker

largenlovely said:


> This dude in line next to me reeked of bologna.



If i had to smell like a meat in public, i'd choose chicken apple sausage :eat2:


----------



## MattB

You win, inbox, you win...


----------



## MRdobolina

Your LL Bean Boyfriend,
He will build you a table and then have sex with you on it. Doesn't get much hotter than that.


----------



## HottiMegan

My pants are too tight after lunch..


----------



## spiritangel

Fattitude1 said:


> When was the last time you were good and kissed?



far far to long ago


----------



## largenlovely

ClashCityRocker said:


> If i had to smell like a meat in public, i'd choose chicken apple sausage :eat2:



Lol the smell of bacon seems to be universally appealing ...I'm surprised it's not a cologne or car scent by now lol


----------



## ConnieLynn

largenlovely said:


> Lol the smell of bacon seems to be universally appealing ...I'm surprised it's not a cologne or car scent by now lol



There is....

http://www.fargginay.com/


----------



## largenlovely

ConnieLynn said:


> There is....
> 
> http://www.fargginay.com/



Lmao that's awesome!! Though I won't be making that purchse lol


----------



## averykennedy

I've decided seeing the Northern (or Southern, I won't complain) lights are at the top of my bucket list.


----------



## spiritangel

To do list get shorter already damn it


----------



## MattB

Yep, I reckon I'm in some trouble with the big guy.


----------



## spiritangel

"boys want what other boys want"


----------



## largenlovely

I swear I just seen the old cajun man's brother from Joe Dirt on our local news. I couldn't understand a word he said and I'm FROM down here lol


----------



## x0emnem0x

danielson123 said:


> Umm, I wanna watch Hamtaro.



You are awesome, I forgot about that show until I saw this!

Memories... IT'S HAMTARO TIME!


----------



## CPProp

Where the hell has the year gone?


----------



## MattB

Let's take the cheese.


----------



## Mathias

Wow, what'd I miss? :blink:


----------



## x0emnem0x

I'm really starting to wonder if you're actually gay, and if everyone was right all these years.


----------



## balletguy

You may be right, you may be crazy.


----------



## Vanilla Gorilla

I'm still trying to decide if having that many beers with golbaengi muchim was such a good idea.


----------



## MattB

Some things I didn't say I apparently said, I guess.


----------



## largenlovely

balletguy said:


> You may be right, you may be crazy.



But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for


----------



## lovelocs

No Ovaries! Nooooooooooo!!!!


----------



## spiritangel

OMG thats soo much bacon


----------



## Victoria08

I need something to dance to.


----------



## CleverBomb

It's been a long December, and there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last.


----------



## Surlysomething

Listening to the two of you eat your lunch makes me want to kill myself.


----------



## WVMountainrear

"I don't know what she do with the chicken tetrazzini, but Paul love it..."


----------



## HottiMegan

I feel like a bag of smashed assholes.


----------



## samuraiscott

Grill cheese sammiches for dinner. Not bad, Chef Butler!


----------



## spiritangel

Soo much mail I think I know how santa feels


----------



## Mishty

I LOVE(not luv) all the sandwiches.


----------



## Mathias

I'm still waiting on a reboot to Daredevil.


----------



## MattB

How is it possible to accidentally put on someone else's pants?


----------



## spiritangel

I love grocery day


----------



## Vanilla Gorilla

Why can't I have crayfish everyday?


----------



## kaylaisamachine

You shoot me down, but I won't fall, I am titanium.


----------



## spiritangel

wow what a difference 6hrs of sleep makes


----------



## Victoria08

My toes are cold


----------



## spiritangel

to send the pics or not send the pics that is the question.............


----------



## x0emnem0x

Well you were right when you said you were an asshole but I thought you'd never do this to me again. Guess I was wrong, but how can you make me feel so special and think I'd not have feelings for you?


----------



## spiritangel

I feel incredibly optimistic


----------



## Tad

Why am I even here today?


----------



## Oona

*THE DUDE ABIDES*!


----------



## HottiMegan

I feel like such a slob when I wear my sweats out in public.


----------



## danielson123

Mannnnnn cabarnet is some strong shit. Or my glass was way too big. Either way, I gotta be up and at work in a finite amount of time! :doh: :doh:

:bounce:


----------



## Weirdo890

Thanks for the memory.


----------



## CPProp

Christmas was invented to give everyone stress at the same time.


----------



## Weirdo890

Even in a recession, department stores are always sure to have a Green Chri$tma$.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

Apparently when you put "Erma Bombeck" through the Ermahgerd Translator, it crashes all the things.


----------



## MRdobolina

fever broken


----------



## MattB

I'd give it to you if I could, but I borrowed it.


----------



## HottiMegan

Gremlins at xmas time.. Great combo!!


----------



## Victoria08

I wish you were here.


----------



## x0emnem0x

Come break me


----------



## balletguy

Up too early on a Saterday....


----------



## Lovelyone

Who is making me pancakes?


----------



## Victoria08

People either think I'm 18 and in high school or 25 and with kids - I don't get it.


----------



## balletguy

I am happy and sad that 2012 is almost over


----------



## spiritangel

Hi Hi Hi ho off to make myself a redhead I go


----------



## MattB

I think I'll add some wood paneling to my car, I earned it.


----------



## Sweetie

Don't have children if you don't plan on RAISING them.


----------



## samuraiscott

I wonder how her email account has been compromised.


----------



## spiritangel

Think they forgot to pick me up again


----------



## Donna

As Santa Claus is my witness, the next person who says "Bah Humbug" is going to get my foot straight up their chimney.


----------



## CPProp

The only way to get Yorkshire puddings to rise is to give them a knighthood or use compressed air.


----------



## x0emnem0x

I want to eat everything.


----------



## spiritangel

I think next time I really want to go chocolate brown


----------



## ODFFA

Hello again, Cloud 9 :happy:


----------



## Sweetie

I love Victor Cruz. :wubu: (Nobody does a victory salsa like he does )


----------



## Victoria08

I obviously have a very poor snow shovelling technique because I am in desperate need of a back massage!


----------



## samuraiscott

Maybe this is just the way things are supposed to be.


----------



## I'm Not Zoidberg

Looks like I'll have to refinish this table yet _again_.


----------



## CleverBomb

Axial tilt is the reason for the season!


----------



## largenlovely

By continually having to say that you're not mean tells me that you're mean.


----------



## spiritangel

largenlovely said:


> By continually having to say that you're not mean tells me that you're mean.



You know in my experience anyone who repeats something about themselves over and over trying to convince you of it is usually trying to convince themselves. Trust your gut on this one


----------



## largenlovely

spiritangel said:


> You know in my experience anyone who repeats something about themselves over and over trying to convince you of it is usually trying to convince themselves. Trust your gut on this one



Yeah I've noticed that particularly in this individual. I've had some people come out and say their major dysfunction even if I didn't see it (which I prefer lol) but I've only just fully noticed repeated denial is an admission as well. Me thinks thou doth protest too much. Shakespeare knew his business lol


----------



## ScreamingChicken

This Thursday, the chickens come home to roost and an era of arrogance ends (hopefully).


----------



## Tad

It is December, in Ottawa, and the forecast is for nearly an inch of rain? That should be snow, glorious snow! Curse you, climate change!


----------



## Surlysomething

You can have our snow and give us back our rain, thanks!

Haha



Tad said:


> It is December, in Ottawa, and the forecast is for nearly an inch of rain? That should be snow, glorious snow! Curse you, climate change!


----------



## Mishty

I just wanna nibble your hearts and discuss god and shit.


----------



## MattB

Tad said:


> It is December, in Ottawa, and the forecast is for nearly an inch of rain? That should be snow, glorious snow! Curse you, climate change!





Surlysomething said:


> You can have our snow and give us back our rain, thanks!
> 
> Haha



No deal!


----------



## TwilightStarr

My life has been such a roller coaster the past few weeks! 
I am so exhausted, it is ridiculous!!
So now I shall crawl in bed and spend sometime with John Matthew aka reading a couple pages of Lover Mine by JR Ward


----------



## Victoria08

I don't know why it's so hard for some to walk away from the people that have hurt them so deeply.


----------



## x0emnem0x

Victoria08 said:


> I don't know why it's so hard for some to walk away from the people that have hurt them so deeply.



Take it from me I'm one of those people, I wish I knew.


----------



## x0emnem0x

I don't think there is a place to put this so I'm randomly putting it here... I think it is a great idea and furthermore, think I will partake in doing this.


----------



## largenlovely

Brrrrrrrrrrrr it's cold


----------



## spiritangel

x0emnem0x said:


> I don't think there is a place to put this so I'm randomly putting it here... I think it is a great idea and furthermore, think I will partake in doing this.



Its called a happiness jar  and its a great idea.


Ouch how the beep did I do that?


----------



## TwilightStarr

x0emnem0x said:


> I don't think there is a place to put this so I'm randomly putting it here... I think it is a great idea and furthermore, think I will partake in doing this.



I am so doing this!!


----------



## Lovelyone

x0emnem0x said:


> I don't think there is a place to put this so I'm randomly putting it here... I think it is a great idea and furthermore, think I will partake in doing this.



I did this for the previous year. Also...I had a baggie in there with quotes that made me happy and when I put ONE paper in with a good thing that happened, I took out a quote. What a game changer that was for my entire year. I hope it works that way for you, too!


----------



## MattB

I don't think we get it.


----------



## spiritangel

Its been a very bah humbug kind of morning sigh


----------



## lovelocs

Despite your invitations to dance, I think I'll sit this one out...


----------



## CAMellie

Thank you to the firefighters, police officers, etc... for creating a "human wall" so the principal could be laid to rest without the drama caused by the WBC.


----------



## Lovelyone

Yes we do, and sometimes it takes more than what is expected to get a point across.


----------



## bbwlibrarian

Hold tight:
It's New Year's Eve and
we'll be cold tonight.
Kill the heat
and shut out all the lights
and cut the phone line too.
Alright,
We don't need nothing but cyanide.
Pulled out teeth--won't be identified.
What would you have me do?
You got it.


----------



## spiritangel

Somedays are meant for snuggling in bed


----------



## CPProp

36 hrs of rain, cant be healthy.


----------



## CAMellie

Don't send me an urgent letter telling me I have abnormal lab results...and then not return my call!!! :doh:


----------



## crosseyedhamster

My boss is out of town until just after christmas so I am currently the person in charge of my department at the grocery store where I work (freezer section). Been a learning experience in self-leadership.


----------



## MattB

I get that they won the Championship game legitimately without the Wolf, but they wouldn't have even got there without him.


----------



## spiritangel

somedays I am reminded of just how lucky I am


----------



## MattB

I just sneezed on my iPad, on an unrelated note, for sale- one iPad.


----------



## Oona

My spoon is too big!


----------



## bbwlibrarian

All I want for Christmas is a day that I don't have to speak to anyone except a cat.


----------



## ConnieLynn

4 days!!!!!!


----------



## ConnieLynn

mmmmmmmm donuts


----------



## bbwlibrarian

"I never said, 'I want to be alone.' I only said, 'I want to be let alone.' There is a world of difference."


----------



## spiritangel

think its a day for laying naked in front of the fan


----------



## MattB

I hate running, but I feel like running...far.


----------



## CAMellie

Bane is really Colonel Sanders.


----------



## CleverBomb

It's one more day up in the canyons, and it's one more night in Hollywood.


----------



## bbwlibrarian

You can't change the world, but you can change the facts...


----------



## bbwlibrarian

A sad fact widely known: the most impassionate song to a lonely soul is so easily outgrown.


----------



## spiritangel

parcels on a sunday oh yes please


----------



## bbwlibrarian

Oh yes, I would *love* some peppermint dream cake.


----------



## CleverBomb

My feet have been moved under moon and star -- where am I to go now that I've gone too far?


----------



## Lovelyone

Thank Goodness we found her.


----------



## MattB

And so it begins, that some things last forever.


----------



## lovelocs

Out of time, disconnected, plaguedbysenses, sweet desire, out of time.


----------



## CleverBomb

An 18th Century brain, in a 21st Century head.


----------



## MattB

I would never go back to that time, even if I could.


----------



## Victoria08

It's not me, it's you.


----------



## CleverBomb

I only did that to the metaphors because I care so deeply about them -- it was really for their own good.


----------



## Victoria08

Snowfall warning(?!)....NOOOOOOO


----------



## balletguy

Nothing but beaches and 
Boatdrinks.


----------



## spiritangel

where the beep is time flying to.. two more sleeps till the fat man arrives


----------



## bbwlibrarian

“I am overwhelmed with things I ought to have written about and never found the proper words.”


----------



## Sweetie

I hate when I get water in my ears.


----------



## dharmabean




----------



## Sweetie

I hate that I have all these nervous bad habits...


----------



## CAMellie

Holy shit! Grape flavored Redvines?!?!?!


----------



## MattB

You're giving me a headache, I intend to return it at a later date.


----------



## bbwlibrarian

I'm wearing bunny slippers, so I ain't leavin' this ride.


----------



## CAMellie

What is a pbgainer and why is it messaging me?


----------



## Sweetie

Onion dip and pretzel rods...yummmmmmmm... :eat2:


----------



## x0emnem0x

Oh Mike you are my best friend.


----------



## danielson123

Goddamn Peter Jackson and all his dwarves got me back into WoW...


----------



## Victoria08

The oven has not been off since I woke up...1 batch of cheese straws, 3 quiches, and 12 baked scotch eggs...can I be done now?


----------



## MattB

At what point did "too much information" become "the perfect amount of information"?


----------



## penguin

It's 8am, I've been awake for four hours, so I think it's about time I had coffee.


----------



## dharmabean

I totally apologize.. my aretha should have gone into the "giggle" thread. :: blush :: my bad.


----------



## Sweetie

dharmabean said:


> I totally apologize.. my aretha should have gone into the "giggle" thread. :: blush :: my bad.



I had a feeling...but I LOL anyway...


----------



## CastingPearls

dharmabean said:


> I totally apologize.. my aretha should have gone into the "giggle" thread. :: blush :: my bad.


I've had too much nog; I read this as 'urethra'.


----------



## spiritangel

I wonder what device she has in her room in went a sullen surly teenager out came the girl I know and love and can laugh with................


----------



## x0emnem0x

My Christmas Home Alone: brownies, Christmas movies on Netflix, and some Mikes Hard Strawberry Lemonade. It'll be a good day.


----------



## Morganer

Merry Christmas!


----------



## CleverBomb

I like your wife, she's sopping up the mousse with a brownie -- that's dedication! For the record, it was neither said by me nor referring to my wife. But it was at a dinner party we were at (and the Mrs. made those brownies!)


----------



## Your Plump Princess

_Santa Santa Santa's got his Jolly little eyes on meee.. _son of a bitch!


----------



## Lovelyone

Wow, does she REALLY think she's being helpful? I'm happy I don't have to see her everyday.


----------



## MattB

Honestly, when are Doritos a good choice?


----------



## spiritangel

need to wake up must drag behind out of bed think of Hugh Jackman waiting for me at the movies must get up


----------



## Sweetie

"Mrs. Robinson are you trying to seduce me?"


----------



## Victoria08

I'm having an "Oh...if only he lived a little closer" kind of moment.


----------



## Mishty

I've got everything a girl needs for a slutastic New Years Eve.


----------



## x0emnem0x

If I had a million dollars....


----------



## TwilightStarr

I just had a literal "how's the weather there" conversation lol


----------



## Sweetie

I wish I had a yellow VW Bug.


----------



## MattB

I didn't say it was pithy, I said it was pissy.


----------



## Tad

I had more drinks than hours sleep last night---so don't keep me waiting or I'm totally falling asleep across your desk, and I'm too heavy to move off easily.


----------



## Mathias

This is gonna be SO AWESOME!


----------



## spiritangel

I think good things are finally starting to happen


----------



## x0emnem0x

I feel so good right now...


----------



## CAMellie

Yay vicodin!!!


----------



## dharmabean

Crazy old Japanese Ninja Men, they're everywhere mom.


----------



## CleverBomb

If I'd known it wasn't meant to be taken apart, I wouldn't have tried to disassemble it.


----------



## Sweetie

There, but for the grace of God, go I. Yup.


----------



## spiritangel

it is nice to have options even if some are not ones I want options are great


----------



## balletguy

I am going to have bacon for dinner.


----------



## CAMellie

They should call it poopicillin


----------



## Sweetie

I love Scentsicles.


----------



## MattB

I'm about to call my friend a macacque, he'll have to look it up, and that's when I'll make my exit.


----------



## balletguy

Getting to cold outside.


----------



## Victoria08

Umm..when did these jeans get so tight?


----------



## MRdobolina

i guess kim let kanye finish


----------



## MattB

MRdobolina said:


> i guess kim let kanye finish



Oh no you did-int!


----------



## CAMellie

Jose Cuervo you are a friend of mine!


----------



## Victoria08

Staying home on New Years Eve and watching The Walking Dead...I don't know if this makes me really awesome or really lame.


----------



## CAMellie

Tequila burps are just wrong


----------



## rellis10

What is this strange, unusual beast.... a pizza butty.


----------



## kaylaisamachine

Drunk mid-day on New Year. This is a first.


----------



## x0emnem0x

My stomach hurts, so fuck you stomach.


----------



## MattB

I'll be the ticket, if you're my collector...


----------



## spiritangel

Wow another one returns, hmm well another 3 but two got instantly blocked....


----------



## x0emnem0x

God I love food.


----------



## MRdobolina

if you are what you eat, you can call me burger


----------



## MattB

iTunes doesn't know me at all.


----------



## spiritangel

was it something I said?


----------



## TwilightStarr

My Love is Music For I will Marry Melody


----------



## spiritangel

can I trust you?


----------



## danielson123

Some like 6 year old kid just called my phone asking for somebody named Carmen.


...I pretended I was Carmen.


----------



## x0emnem0x

Oy vey....


----------



## spiritangel

so hot Im melting


----------



## Inhibited

spiritangel said:


> so hot Im melting



Am loving the weather


----------



## spiritangel

Inhibited said:


> Am loving the weather



how I feel like I have been super heated from the inside out heat and I do not get along at all 

give me spring and autumn mild days and I am happy (ie 18-22 degrees celcius)


----------



## Inhibited

spiritangel said:


> how I feel like I have been super heated from the inside out heat and I do not get along at all
> 
> give me spring and autumn mild days and I am happy (ie 18-22 degrees celcius)



I luv the water, and have been at the pools. Am hoping it is the same tomorrow for another day at the pools.


----------



## MattB

I am jealous of Australian weather.


----------



## penguin

MattB said:


> I am jealous of Australian weather.



You can take it!


----------



## Yakatori

Is the sentence truly "random" just in as much as it's up to who's ever replying?


----------



## CleverBomb

Whoa -- sometimes I get a good feeling.


----------



## CleverBomb

Yakatori said:


> Is the sentence truly "random" just in as much as it's up to who's ever replying?


If it's related to anything, it might well belong in the "Free Association" thread instead. 

Note: the preceding sentence is not random. My previous post, though, was indeed random.


----------



## MattB

penguin said:


> You can take it!



I would if I could!


----------



## Weirdo890

The Banjo Man is beckoning me to the land of the potato people.


----------



## MattB

Out in the country, far from all the soot and noise of the city, there's a Village Green oh....


----------



## Victoria08

I think it's about time for me to change my hair again...maybe colour it red?


----------



## Aust99

Stomach ache and humidity keeping me up....


----------



## Lovelyone

I wish the snow would melt.


----------



## x0emnem0x

I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts all standing in a row


----------



## Mathias

I'll get you next time Gadget! Next time!!


----------



## penguin

Mathias said:


> I'll get you next time Gadget! Next time!!



I tell my daughter that when she wins a game


----------



## CastingPearls

I walk straighter drunk than sober.


----------



## Victoria08

I hate feeling like this.


----------



## x0emnem0x

I must eat your brains!


----------



## CAMellie

I love yo faces!


----------



## spiritangel

it bit my butt


----------



## sophie lou

so how fast can you move your tongue


----------



## Lovelyone

How does one get an ass cheek cramp, anyway?


----------



## Vanilla Gorilla

I wonder if i turn off the lights could I hide in my office tomorrow and no one would bother me?


----------



## CPProp

If a car is converted to LPG can you drive and cook at the same time?.


----------



## MattB

Everyone's watchin', to see what you will do...


----------



## Victoria08

I shouldn't be feeling jealous, it's stupid.


----------



## Weirdo890

Everything has tasted like plastic for the past five days.


----------



## Lovelyone

I shouldn't have done that, but damn it felt good.


----------



## MRdobolina

.. bec you know crazy ex and crazy sex have so much in common


----------



## spiritangel

really any other dreams or goals of mine you want to take for your own?


----------



## TwilightStarr

Earlier today I randomly remembered this saying me and my friends use to have,

"Secrets don't make friends!"

LMAO! I don't remember the story behind it but I'm sure it was hilarious, because with my friends it was usually redonkulously hilarious!


----------



## Weirdo890

They used to say "Dead men tell no tales." That's a complete lie nowadays. Dead men tell EVERYTHING!


----------



## MattB

It feels good to knock things down.


----------



## Weirdo890

I have officially declared tomorrow NO PANTS DAY!


----------



## Navydude

Weirdo890 said:


> I have officially declared tomorrow NO PANTS DAY!



I vote for you to be our official national holiday picker!


----------



## penguin

Weirdo890 said:


> I have officially declared tomorrow NO PANTS DAY!



I didn't get the memo but I dressed for it all the same. A dress with no underwear fits, right?


----------



## Victoria08

It shouldn't be this hard to pick a hair colour.


----------



## spiritangel

Alls quiet on the western front


----------



## Gingembre

Right, let's go...you can DO this!


----------



## Aust99

I agree!!! You can do it... Stop procrastinating!  lol


----------



## Weirdo890

How can the same smeg happen to the same guy twice?


----------



## x0emnem0x

a hippa hop doopity do I love chapstick


----------



## spiritangel

Wow is that all my net usage? I really havent been online much lately at all..


----------



## Weirdo890

I wish I could taste something.


----------



## Lovelyone

Wow, who knew I'd like Matlock so much?


----------



## Mathias

Drippin that CHAWKLHET SAWSE!


----------



## Vanilla Gorilla

If a cheeseburger gets sold in the park i want in!


----------



## Tad

After 21 years in a solid career.....I'd have expected to have a better idea of what I want to do when I grow up


----------



## Weirdo890

Half of a cop's job is telling naked people to put their clothes back on.


----------



## MattB

You have to have faith for that to work on me.


----------



## Weirdo890

I find your lack of faith disturbing.


----------



## Mathias

Hey there little troublemaker. :wubu:


----------



## samuraiscott

She's absolutely beautiful, and absolutely out of my league.


----------



## Gingembre

Drag yourself out of your funk and talk to meeeee!


----------



## Gingembre

Aust99 said:


> I agree!!! You can do it... Stop procrastinating!  lol



Ha! 

more characters


----------



## Gingembre

"And I pray for your health and I tell myself, it's just the chambers and the valves that pump the sentiment around".


----------



## MRdobolina

(more like a wrong rap lyric quote but whatevs)

i love big b!tches, that my fukken problem


----------



## kaylaisamachine

To love another person is to see the face of God.


----------



## Victoria08

Almost getting hit by another car feels AWESOME.


----------



## Weirdo890

When did common sense become a rare phenomenon?


----------



## MattB

It's a dream factory kid...


----------



## CleverBomb

I'll have the carne asada with the artichoke marmalade.

After looking at the menu a little more closely, it was actually with achiote marinade.


----------



## CastingPearls

You.....you have potential.


----------



## CleverBomb

On the other hand, _Avocado_ marmalade is Guacamole.


----------



## ODFFA

Crown chakra - operational :happy:


----------



## Victoria08

When in doubt, just take one of each.


----------



## spiritangel

Some days I think I am still to trusting


----------



## Weirdo890

Que sera sera and so it goes.


----------



## Librarygirl

Oooh! It's snowing!


----------



## Weirdo890

Your ignorance is not as important as my intelligence.


----------



## Victoria08

I should have left 10 minutes ago.


----------



## Weirdo890

You're late You're late, for a very important date.


----------



## Lovelyone

Thank God for small favors.


----------



## MattB

Your family crest should be embroidered on a wet blanket.


----------



## Victoria08

This headache is brutal.


----------



## x0emnem0x

doom doom doom doom doom doom doom, doom doom doom!


----------



## Weirdo890

Before the big bang, there was NOTHING!!


----------



## Fattitude1

After the big bang, her son was born.


----------



## MattB

Hoping to avoid Captain Trips...


----------



## x0emnem0x

I've got a golden ticket!


----------



## samuraiscott

Taking applications for a BHM photographer.


----------



## Victoria08

I need to read this series again! :bow:


----------



## Lovelyone

Jeff Lewis, I totally love you.


----------



## Weirdo890

Don't think it hasn't been fun, cause it hasn't.


----------



## Oona

It's been swell, but the swelling's gone down.


----------



## bbwbud

Oona said:


> It's been swell, but the swelling's gone down.



Usually things are the most swell when the swelling is going up...


----------



## Lovelyone

Hey, that guy added extra mojo's to my order and didn't charge me for them.


----------



## Oona

I has icicles for fingers -_-


----------



## Sweetie

I wish I didn't cut my hair.


----------



## MattB

Still furious after all these years.


----------



## CleverBomb

It's tasteful and stylish, but far from subtle.


----------



## x0emnem0x

It's like giving up is something I never wanted to do in this aspect, but lately I see no choice.


----------



## Victoria08

I'm pretty sure my brother is going to forget my birthday


----------



## Lovelyone

I think I have a wall paper addiction, if that is possible.


----------



## spiritangel

So happy to have new helpful friends who are locals


----------



## Oona

It's currently 47° with a windchill factor of FML!


----------



## MattB

Oona said:


> It's currently 47° with a windchill factor of FML!



47 is warm!


----------



## Oona

MattB said:


> 47 is warm!



1- I'm a wimp! I'm from San Diego where the lows are in the 60's 
2- The wind kills me.
3- There's no heat at work so I'm working in a freezer of an office.


----------



## snuggletiger

Its so cold in Vegas, the fountains have iced over.


----------



## Oona

snuggletiger said:


> Its so cold in Vegas, the fountains have iced over.



The fields here have heaters. WTH! My office needs a heater -_-


----------



## snuggletiger

Oona said:


> The fields here have heaters. WTH! My office needs a heater -_-



I got a heater and my jacket on. Im singing Bossa Nova songs to keep warm


----------



## Oona

snuggletiger said:


> I got a heater and my jacket on. Im singing Bossa Nova songs to keep warm



I have on so many layers it's getting stupid. Im just glad I have ugg boots... without them I'd be frozen solid! 

Now I just need gloves!

And Im jealous of your heater....


----------



## MattB

We act tough here in January once we adjust to the weather, but the first cold in October or November when it gets down to the 40's (F) we feel it...


----------



## Oona

MattB said:


> We act tough here in January once we adjust to the weather, but the first cold in October or November when it gets down to the 40's (F) we feel it...



I acted like a badass when the cold first started because I LOVE the cold. But this is stupid. Im inside my office and I can see my breath lol


----------



## veggieforever

*One jar of combined chocolate & peanut butter spread and me with a very large tablespoon in my paw... Let the good times roll! hehehehe!!xXx* :eat1:


----------



## HottiMegan

<----- I just noticed i have a star on thar


----------



## Victoria08

I really don't want to do the night shift today.


----------



## CastingPearls

The 'what ifs' and the 'should haves' will eat your brain (long before the zombies do).


----------



## dharmabean

mmmm. smells sooo good.


----------



## MRdobolina

so manti te'o has a name for his right hand?


----------



## Lovelyone

It's going to be a long day, anybody have any duct tape?


----------



## Mathias

I wish I'd stop having nightmares.


----------



## snuggletiger

Wow....................You're going with THAT? Oh my.


----------



## Weirdo890

Why is there a monkey in my bed?


----------



## MattB

Are you worthy of membership in the league?


----------



## Sweetie

I hate when people ask me what I do for a living.


----------



## CastingPearls

If you are forced to confront your fears on a daily basis, they disintegrate like illusions when viewed up close.


----------



## Victoria08

I laughed and then I cried...it's been a rough night.


----------



## MattB

"Crack That Whip...liquorice whip!"...

(This is stuck in my head today, unreal...)


----------



## Weirdo890

It's not that I don't enjoy lying to a holy man.


----------



## Oona

In a daze, going crazy, I can barely think...


----------



## Lovelyone

Sometimes the wellness of good hope just dries up and it's time to move on to the next one.


----------



## Victoria08

All I want is a red velvet cupcake.


----------



## CleverBomb

Some girls' mothers are bigger than other girls' mothers.


----------



## Oona

LAND(!) Finally!!!


----------



## CleverBomb

Nothing says, "forever" like a cubic zirconia wedding ring set from a cable shopping channel at 2 AM.


----------



## Lovelyone

Did you stick your finger in it? Never mind, I don't want it anymore.


----------



## samuraiscott

Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.


----------



## CleverBomb

That which you fear the most will meet you halfway.


----------



## x0emnem0x

Dippity do da yippity day what.


----------



## CleverBomb

Heavy traffic on the westbound Ventura Highway from Mulholland to Parkway Calabasas -- someone hit one of the alligator lizards in the air and it's blocking the two right lanes.


----------



## Lovelyone

45 MPH winds, good God.


----------



## Inhibited

Cricket be gone..


----------



## x0emnem0x

Maybe you're trying to help yourself but it's not fair to me.


----------



## MattB

Snowshoes are expensive, and you can't just buy one.


----------



## AuntHen

welcome to the "woe is me" generation :/


----------



## dharmabean

Woe is me with the expectation everything is handed to them without effort and on a silver platter.



fat9276 said:


> welcome to the "woe is me" generation :/


----------



## MattB

Please find your joy.


----------



## Victoria08

One more week!


----------



## kaylaisamachine

Roommates are coming back. Aw man. :c


----------



## Lovelyone

It's colder than a preacher's pecker in a copper jock strap out there.


----------



## Weirdo890

I don't believe I've ever heard it phrased like that before.


----------



## samuraiscott

I wish I had a crystal ball so I would know what is going on for once.


----------



## CastingPearls

'Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.' -Rev MLK Jr.


----------



## TwilightStarr

Anybody have a netflix name and password they wouldn't mind letting me borrow?


----------



## MattB

Beardcicles tomorrow, oh joy!


----------



## ClashCityRocker

At present, there's little on earth that'd satisfy as well as a chocolate brownie with walnuts. :eat2:


----------



## Victoria08

Well...I wasn't expecting to spend my night at the police station.


----------



## Victoria08

I'm not quite sure how it happened, but I basically just punched myself in the eye.


----------



## snuggletiger

To be a winner there is no tomorrow...there's only TONIGHT!!!!!!


----------



## Tad

What do you do when you are tired of tea and coffee?


----------



## Librarygirl

Tad said:


> What do you do when you are tired of tea and coffee?



Make the weird drink I had in Malaysia..."Toffee" i.e. tea and coffee....TOGETHER in one cup!


----------



## TwilightStarr

Victoria08 said:


> I'm not quite sure how it happened, but I basically just punched myself in the eye.



Sounds like something I would do  lol


----------



## MattB

I own a basketball team.


----------



## spiritangel

I'm gonna eat you little fishy, I'm gonna eat you little fishy....


----------



## CastingPearls

The most miraculous happenings are possible when things are still unknown.


----------



## CastingPearls

Tad said:


> What do you do when you are tired of tea and coffee?


Chai? Hot cocoa?


----------



## Mathias

I'll get there, it just takes time.


----------



## CleverBomb

It's the Pedantic Dentistry clinic.


----------



## Pandasaur

Frak your face match.com...30 bucks for nada!!!!


----------



## ODFFA

It hurts like hell... but it's absolutely worth it... but it hurts like hell... but--


----------



## spiritangel

wonder if she will be upset its not a layout.....


----------



## Victoria08

Whoa, purple hair.


----------



## MattB

I am so putting sour cream in your socks!


----------



## Lovelyone

Seems like I was born to sharpen your crayons with my pencil sharpener.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Can I scream yet?


----------



## Mishty

What am I,like,15 or somethin'.....?


----------



## x0emnem0x

Too much captain leads to slapping.


----------



## HottiMegan

Cough, cough, COUGH, hack.. that is all..


----------



## kaylaisamachine

HottiMegan said:


> Cough, cough, COUGH, hack.. that is all..



I second this.


----------



## MattB

There's got to beeeeeee a morning afterrrr!


----------



## CastingPearls

It's not such a long distance after all, is it?


----------



## Victoria08

I don't know why it's so damn easy to forget about me


----------



## CleverBomb

Verbing weirds language.


----------



## AuntHen

no, no and just no!


----------



## penguin

Damn freaky weather.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

oy,oy,oy,oy,oy,oy,oy,oy,oy,oy,oy!


----------



## CleverBomb

The traffic lights are just f*cking with us now.


----------



## one2one

OK, that is a whole lot of social ineptitude right there.


----------



## largenlovely

You'll be back


----------



## largenlovely

Whiskey and Dr. Pepper...it's not for the faint of heart lol


----------



## Victoria08

Can't wait for this to be 'official'...Best early birthday present ever!


----------



## CastingPearls

'What's a dazzling urbanite like you doing in a rustic setting like this?'


----------



## CleverBomb

Choose your scissors and run like hell.


----------



## MattB

Three's Company would just not work today.


----------



## danielson123

Cornette face


----------



## snuggletiger

I told you "its better then Vomit"


----------



## MattB

Holy Cow, Black Flag is doing a new record...


----------



## Lovelyone

It's always all about you, isn't it?


----------



## HottiMegan

Wheezing and struggling for breath is a little scary..


----------



## CleverBomb

Where nobody's dreams... come true!


----------



## spiritangel

"stupid is as stupid does"


----------



## CAMellie

Hi! My name is Melanie and I'm an e.l.f. cosmetics addict even though I very rarely wear make-up.


----------



## AuntHen

I will believe it, when I see it.


----------



## Victoria08

I should probably put some pants on


----------



## MattB

It's midnight and there's a pinkish tinge to the sky, can it get any more melancholic?


----------



## ClashCityRocker

Next time you're steeping tea, top it off with a spoonful of almond milk. :eat2:


----------



## Aust99

Yum!!! ^^

Last day off and I'm as tired as the start of the holidays... :/. 


Also getting moulds of teeth done is one if the grossest things I've had to do.


----------



## danielson123

I know the chunky that left these chunkies!


----------



## Lovelyone

omgosh, where is it?


----------



## spiritangel

darn it hot weather why did you have to return?


----------



## MattB

There are quite a few words I don't enjoy, "dollop" is one of them.


----------



## AuntHen

I just want to sleep right now.


----------



## penguin

But WHY won't the dishes do themselves??


----------



## samuraiscott

I just want someone to talk to.


----------



## Lovelyone

It's far too quiet in here.


----------



## WVMountainrear

I was going to say "I don't know why I did that," but the more appropriate sentence is "I don't know why I couldn't stop myself from doing that."


----------



## Victoria08

This body lotion smells so good.


----------



## danielson123

And don't forget your booties, because its _COOOOLLLLLD_ OUT THERE!


----------



## MattB

To reiterate my position, dogs should not wear clothes.


----------



## Lovelyone

You heard me right, I do not CARE about the Superbowl AT ALL..


----------



## Morganer

What are you doing with that thing?


----------



## Mathias

My patience is about to be rewarded!


----------



## Victoria08

I have an overwhelming urge to dance (like a idiot) to this song.


----------



## Crafty Barnardo

This person is creating a worm hole to a another dimension with all his talking.. Jeez


----------



## Morganer

Oh my god, I almost thought the lack of a debit card was going to make that not possible after she bought gas.


----------



## Crafty Barnardo

How freakin awesome these women on this forum is, I have at least about ten forum crushes. Lol


----------



## x0emnem0x

Lack of money means lack of food means lack of happy.


----------



## Mishty

What the _fuck_ did I do *now*?


----------



## snuggletiger

why can't I be serenaded by a woman who can sing like Diana Krall or Bebel Gilberto


----------



## Crafty Barnardo

Mishty said:


> What the _fuck_ did I do *now*?



Have to say that in a high pitch voice.. Lol


----------



## Victoria08

I so tired of having everything go wrong.


----------



## x0emnem0x

I so, so, so, so, so, so tired (is that even a sentence?) IDK TOO TIRED TO TELL.


----------



## snuggletiger

Today I want to do something different, to have a less snarky day. Maybe if I can go through the day without doing something snarky, I'll reward myself with ice cream


----------



## Oona

Why is the rum gone?


----------



## snuggletiger

Someplace I'll find where nobody has heard of me and lay out in the warm sunshine


----------



## Lamia

When you strip off your clothes to take a shower, don't take a detour to check the chicken by bending over to look into the oven; especially if you have large saggy boobs.


----------



## Morganer

Bring it up bring it out bring it on.


----------



## snuggletiger

Im kinda bummed that Hirschfeld will never draw a carciature of me


----------



## x0emnem0x

Sleeping schedule back on track, possible.


----------



## MattB

Nothing kills creativity like realizing you're being creative.


----------



## spiritangel

its too darn hot


----------



## CleverBomb

We'll be coming back for you one day.


----------



## Victoria08

Need something to cheer me up.


----------



## snuggletiger

*hands victoria a stuffed moose*


----------



## MattB

No one will shovel my driveway for $5, what a world!


----------



## Morganer

Oh yes, nice and slippery.


----------



## runningsoft

I've got about a foot of snow that you can have free of charge to help cool you down. 



spiritangel said:


> its too darn hot


----------



## runningsoft

Not really, but I'm gathering that you are fatigued to a certain degree:blush:



x0emnem0x said:


> I so, so, so, so, so, so tired (is that even a sentence?) IDK TOO TIRED TO TELL.


----------



## WVMountainrear

"You look ridiculously glamorous for midnight."


----------



## MattB

Winter, begone with your staticky BS.


----------



## CleverBomb

As the last one checks in, I can breathe a sigh of relief.


----------



## CAMellie

Now I want a little doggy of my own


----------



## MattB

Another peaceful day in obscurity.


----------



## Tad

Wait, I thought I was rid of this sinus infection and cough? :doh:


----------



## CleverBomb

Tomorrow I have to get up at the crack of holy cow that's early.


----------



## spiritangel

Mmmm hot chips and chicken salt


----------



## Mishty

2013's soundtrack brought to you entirely by The White Stripes.


----------



## MattB

Let's raise a glass and drink it down...


----------



## Lovelyone

I hear spontaneous giggling in the other room and she's all alone. I worry about that.


----------



## penguin

Lovelyone said:


> I hear spontaneous giggling in the other room and she's all alone. I worry about that.



My daughter does that. It's the long periods of silence that have me worrying more


----------



## AuntHen

Show me, don't tell me.


----------



## Mishty

Scowling is a new hobby,this will end in wrinkles.


----------



## MattB

Today would've been way better if not for the psychic vampires.


----------



## CAMellie

Please don't take her away from me...I've lost too many loved ones as it is.


----------



## riplee

That falafel was awful.


----------



## AuntHen

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh sigh sigh siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh


----------



## spiritangel

changes are brewing everywhere


----------



## Tad

I really think that a mini roto-rooter might be what is required if I ever want my sinuses to clear.


----------



## Mishty

Goodbye asshole,enjoy it.


----------



## Mathias

You've got some serious skills.


----------



## Lovelyone

It's just about that time now isn't it?


----------



## snuggletiger

hmmm between you and warm vomit its a toss up and I say that as a friend.


----------



## CleverBomb

My first week back in the books, is in the books.


----------



## x0emnem0x

Two words: burn cruise.


----------



## Lovelyone

Hate to tell you darlin' but my mom died three years ago and YOU are not her, that's for sure.


----------



## MaxArden

I've decided to stop lying to my diary


----------



## MattB

Free time is an illusion.


----------



## largenlovely

Passive aggressive people piss me off. If you're mad, say you're mad.


----------



## spiritangel

flower making tools where are you?


----------



## Lovelyone

This handle is too long and it feels like it was made for a giant. (paintbrush)


----------



## Lovelyone

I would thank you for the compliment, but ending it with "mmmmmmmm" just made it sound creepy and stalkerish.


----------



## snuggletiger

You're really sure thats not a Tappan . <aside to the ex> well no Tappan stove, Jonah Jones isn't recording anymore, and I still can't dance bossa nova, can it get any worse?


----------



## MattB

One's going east the other's going west, so what?


----------



## CPProp

What was the lady in the chemist thinking about when she asked for asteroid cream.


----------



## snuggletiger

Ladies and Gentleman nobody got sick , thats just what someone's perfume smells like


----------



## Linda

Did you really just stick your tongue out at me?


----------



## Oona

Cleaning kicked my butt.


----------



## spiritangel

oh how I wish I had loads of money to buy all the naughty food that I am craving atm (perhaps it is good that I dont)


----------



## snuggletiger

Make Way!!! Make Way!!!!! Mr. Stark wants the Kinkyyyyy


----------



## spiritangel

I am starting to think the universe wants me to have a complete breakdown


----------



## CleverBomb

I want a car that can instantaneously accelerate to any legal speed, that has a perfectly accurate cruise control, never encounters a stop light, and only goes exactly east, west, north or south -- I know there are at least two, because the book keeps going on and on about them.


----------



## Mishty

Cramps,devil kitty,puke,insomnia,and tears,all at once.


----------



## spiritangel

is it as good as I think it is.................


----------



## Victoria08

Why have I never heard of this band before?!


----------



## CleverBomb

We are no monsters -- we're moral people! -- and yet we have the strength to do this.


----------



## Morganer

Don't let your alligator mouth get your mockingbird tookus in trouble.


----------



## Lovelyone

There seems to be a something relative to you waking up and your mouth runnning on and on. HHmmmmm.


----------



## CAMellie

My GOD she's a shitting machine!!!!


----------



## Morganer

It seems to blend with the territory, the big wings and the _just how small is your willy_ overall styling, you just learn to live with it.


----------



## spiritangel

Project overload I so hope I get it all done and meet all the deadlines eeek


----------



## Sweetie

I can do this.


----------



## HottiMegan

Never take father in law's advice on a movie.. NEVER!!


----------



## Morganer

I sped I followed too closely I ran a stop sign I almost hit a Chevy I sped some more I failed to yield at a crosswalk I changed lanes at the intersection I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and *speeding*!


----------



## HottiMegan

Morganer said:


> I sped I followed too closely I ran a stop sign I almost hit a Chevy I sped some more I failed to yield at a crosswalk I changed lanes at the intersection I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and *speeding*!



I almost watched that this morning.. went for Ferris Bueller instead


----------



## Morganer

HottiMegan said:


> I almost watched that this morning.. went for Ferris Bueller instead



I've had better


----------



## spiritangel

Somedays I end up more confused than ever


----------



## WVMountainrear

Cauliflower smells like farts.


----------



## HottiMegan

lovelylady78 said:


> Cauliflower smells like farts.



my husband says that about cooking broccoli


----------



## CAMellie

I hate when some women let men control their life.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Fucking insensitive piece of useless garbage in the garden of Eden.


----------



## Victoria08

I hope I didn't mess it up.


----------



## Morganer

Listen, Walter, just because you shot Jesse James... don't make you Jesse James.


----------



## Morganer

Have you seen the way Hansel combs his hair, or, like, _doesnt?_


----------



## CAMellie

I'm madly in love with this little doggy! :happy:


----------



## largenlovely

Trying to keep everything in its place and in perspective can be hard sometimes *sigh*


----------



## spiritangel

God I hope this is just the stress I really do not need another major health issue right now and please please please do not play up tomorrow when I am out I really dont want another broken leg.


----------



## CPProp

Why did I come into this room I meant to go and pick up something from the car boot. Is this too many thoughts at once or old age?


----------



## wildpies

If you dont like whats being said, change the conversation.


----------



## snuggletiger

At some point I'll say I am sorry I made you Cry, just let me know when that point is.


----------



## AuntHen

next week has come and gone :\


----------



## MattB

Should it go out on Bacchanalia or the Equinox?


----------



## spiritangel

by this time tomorrow it will be out of my hands and in the hands of someone named Trevor please let him be one of the good ones.


----------



## Mathias

Everything will be alright...


----------



## That Guy You Met Once

Some people are just lost causes.


----------



## Victoria08

Everything was going just fine...and then 5 police cars showed up. eek


----------



## CAMellie

That Guy You Met Once said:


> Some people are just lost causes.



Agreed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Morganer

Victoria08 said:


> Everything was going just fine...and then 5 police cars showed up. eek



Don't you just _hate_ it when that happens?


----------



## Jess87

The worst part of winter is when everyone walks around carrying gloves, but no duels break out.


----------



## CAMellie

I hate when people lie to make themselves look better.


----------



## CleverBomb

SuperSoakers&#8482; at 30 paces!


----------



## wildpies

Jess87 said:


> The worst part of winter is when everyone walks around carrying gloves, but no duels break out.



bahaha agreed


----------



## CaAggieGirl

Every storm runs out of rain, every dark night turns into day.


----------



## spiritangel

its out of my hands now the waiting game begins


----------



## Dmitra

Lately everything reminds me of My Fair Lady.


----------



## MattB

Sometimes saying nothing is a contribution.


----------



## CaAggieGirl

You are always welcome back.


----------



## balletguy

What a good place to visit, but i would not want to live there.


----------



## Weirdo890

Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, cause it hasn't.


----------



## CaAggieGirl

Excuse me miss, your hedge needs trimming. HA


----------



## Weirdo890

Ma'am, please close your petticoat. I can see the junction.


----------



## Lovelyone

If life is like a box of chocolates, I am pressing all of them with my finger to make sure I don't get the maple flavored ones.


----------



## Weirdo890

Canada is running out of maple syrup!


----------



## KittyKitten

Am I the only one who is annoyed by Dr. Oz? He is so fatphobic.


----------



## CleverBomb

I'm both outraged and strangely comforted that there is a Canadian Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve.

(I only know of this because last year, police caught insiders who stole $18 million worth of it. )


----------



## wildpies

"People tell you who they are, but we ignore it because we want them to be who we want them to be."


----------



## Victoria08

When in doubt, push every single button until the machine does something (_anything_).


----------



## Weirdo890

She's got a tongue like an electric eel and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils!


----------



## spiritangel

Motivation injection stat


----------



## MattB

I can't believe it's done, and I'm pleased with it.


----------



## Shinobi_Hime-Sama

“I don’t know; is that weird to be fattened up by your sister and best friend?"


----------



## spiritangel

the waiting game and I are not friends


----------



## Weirdo890

Where's my pie-eating monkey?


----------



## KittyKitten

Nothing beats the pleasure of taking off your bra once you get home after a long day and letting the twins hang.


----------



## snuggletiger

wish i had a fluffy tummy to rest my head on


----------



## penguin

I can't remember where I left my motivation.


----------



## Vanilla Gorilla

Fuck......


----------



## x0emnem0x

Yeah I think I've decided giving up on life is just a much easier option.


----------



## Victoria08

I wish there was an 'unsend' button, because now I'm starting to regret responding.


----------



## Tad

penguin said:


> I can't remember where I left my motivation.



If you find it, let me know if mine has been hanging out with it, because mine certainly isn't anywhere around here 

Also: This sinus infection could really clear up any time now.


----------



## MattB

I don't trust your nostrils.


----------



## spiritangel

they forgot me ironic considering I was sposed to be teaching today


----------



## CleverBomb

And as the screaming fire engines' siren filled the air, the evidence had vanished from my charred and smoking chair.


----------



## wildpies

"change is neither good or bad, it simply is."


----------



## CleverBomb

This is our mission: to be the Daleks of God.


----------



## Victoria08

"This is probably a little weird, but...you actually have really nice breasts."


----------



## Oona

You're hotter than the bottom of my laptop! *eye twitch*


----------



## Mathias

That thing should come with a warning.


----------



## AuntHen

I am following in your footsteps Grandma :happy:


----------



## CleverBomb

The system ignores porn pirates.


----------



## Morganer

My chain hits my chest when I'm banging on the dance floor.


----------



## HottiMegan

My butt hurts!


----------



## Morganer

It's the bluest blues, and it cuts me to the bone.


----------



## snuggletiger

i wanna go home


----------



## ecogeek

This sums up the last six years of my life.



snuggletiger said:


> i wanna go home


----------



## Victoria08

I'm kind of obsessed with this band


----------



## spiritangel

That makes only one ex who has not returned in blast from the past mode


----------



## MattB

Right back 'atcha!


----------



## Morganer

That only happens when it's dark outside.


----------



## Lovelyone

um, no. Not in a million years, no.


----------



## Morganer

It's just a house, but it's on fire!


----------



## CleverBomb

We don't need no water -- let the m-f-er burn.


----------



## Victoria08

But why is the Rum gone?


----------



## spiritangel

here goes nothing


----------



## moore2me

Victoria08 said:


> But why is the Rum gone?



SPRING BREAK!!!!


----------



## snuggletiger

What does God want with my money? Besides I don't have any.


----------



## Dmitra

Right along with bungee cords on the weapons.


----------



## Lovelyone

How many times does a person have to tell you that they don't like lunch meat before you realize they REALLY don't like lunch meat???


----------



## spiritangel

that will teach me to have hope


----------



## MattB

Is it July yet?


----------



## Victoria08

Next time, I should probably just ask for help.


----------



## Librarygirl

Oh dear...That moment when you've just hit "Send" and wonder if you should have done...


----------



## Dmitra

A painter's Impression of Billy Idol: "Monet, Monet."


----------



## Morganer

The Cherry Poppin' Daddies were a cool band.


----------



## spiritangel

suck it up buttercup there are people far worse off


----------



## CleverBomb

The best lurk all covertly
while the worst are full of persistent trollery.


----------



## Victoria08

Librarygirl said:


> Oh dear...That moment when you've just hit "Send" and wonder if you should have done...



I hate that feeling!


----------



## Morganer

Cut the line if you feel me let me hear you say it one more time.


----------



## CPProp

I think Crufts is going to the dogs.


----------



## MattB

Why are they so mean to Meg?


----------



## Lovelyone

Nice try little guy but taking an hour to eat a fried dumpling will not prolong your bed time.


----------



## Victoria08

Oh, that awkward moment when you turn around and see that the blinds are open...right after you've just bent over to pick something up, while naked from the waist down.


----------



## ODFFA

Soooo excited..... can't say why


----------



## MattB

Feeling more and more free by the day.


----------



## CleverBomb

Everyone likes the orange thing!


----------



## danielson123

Hands in pockets, ears switched off, look straight forward and walk.


----------



## spiritangel

Best line in AVPSY "It makes 50 shades of grey look like a fucking childrens book"


----------



## Librarygirl

I love spanglish!!!


----------



## spiritangel

You wanted Nice Amanda sorry she left the building the moment I you trapped yourself in your own lies.


----------



## TwilightStarr

Just now realizing how long it's been since I have been on here 

But my life has been HECTIC!!

Trying to get custody of my nephew, dad addiction drama, and I was recently diagnosed with MS.

But I promise I am going to try and get back into the swing of things on here!


----------



## Victoria08

Well, now I feel like an idiot.


----------



## ODFFA

Slinky! yAy! :huh:


----------



## Weirdo890

Just call me Randy Pan the Goat Boy!


----------



## spiritangel

Grocery Run why oh why oh why do you have to have cheap easter eggs and vitamins I need cheap when I am to broke to spend any money with you?


----------



## Morganer

These shoes cost $300.


----------



## MattB

If it's not about bacon, zombies, or cats, no one gives a crap...


----------



## spiritangel

free breakfast score


----------



## WVMountainrear

"I'm living on such sweet nothing..."


----------



## Morganer

I like bagels.


----------



## Lovelyone

If it's important to me,it has absolutely no meaning to anyone else in my family.


----------



## Oona

Monkeys took over the world and demanded bananas for everyone!


----------



## veggieforever

*"And so they go like sheep to the moon!"*

The Crusher, Kids in the Hall


----------



## spiritangel

Well at least I won a prize


----------



## Lovelyone

Sorry little boy, I know where that finger has been and I am NOT putting it in my mouth.


----------



## MattB

You Can't Stop The Music!


----------



## spiritangel

Tomorrow All hell may well break loose


----------



## TwilightStarr

Seriously?! It's been almost 3 years since I quit smoking, I am going to need the hella strong nicotine craving that just hit me, to go away and never come back!


----------



## ODFFA

"On that note, can I have a bite of your sandwich?"


----------



## spiritangel

Must resist chocolate overload


----------



## Pandasaur

Payday Yay...rent due boooo


----------



## MattB

The process of removing ballcaps from my wardrobe began today!


----------



## spiritangel

All that was required was a yes or no answer not a mouthful of attitude and a lecture after all it is not a requirement of an Aunty that she HAS to give you presents!!


----------



## TwilightStarr

I hope I have some luck when I go to Goodwill tomorrow and find some good books, especially some Black Dagger Brotherhood books!


----------



## CleverBomb

No offense intended -- yet.


----------



## Oona

I'm sorry Sir, but you currently have a past due balance. I can not, by policy, extend you further credit until your balance is cleared.


----------



## BriannaBombshell

"You're six feet tall, no one's going to notice!"


----------



## 1love_emily

There's no feeling as magical as knowing that there are mutual feelings between two people :3


----------



## largenlovely

1) there suddenly are not enough hours in the day

2) I don't give guys who are full of shit second chances


----------



## CleverBomb

It's just what we need: a colossal negative space wedgie of great power coming right at us at warp speed.


----------



## Mathias

Oh for God's sake, GOOGLE IT!


----------



## MattB

Weird disturbance in the force tonight.


----------



## MaxArden

Reading is Fundamental...Mostly mental...


----------



## spiritangel

largenlovely said:


> 1) there suddenly are not enough hours in the day
> 
> 2) I don't give guys who are full of shit second chances



I would rep you for number 2 but I am not allowed to  its a good policy



I hate waiting for the winners to be announced even if I know I wont be one of the lucky 5 I still want to know like NOW


----------



## ODFFA

"That's adorable... but no"


----------



## MattB

Don't give me no hand me down shoes.


----------



## Lovelyone

Dude, did you fall asleep while cutting my pizza?


----------



## 1love_emily

Big warm hugs from Pittsburgh make this cold girl very happy!


----------



## spiritangel

"Hes hotter than a hobbit"


----------



## CleverBomb

Fcuk me, it's "all real numbers."


----------



## spiritangel

Is there anything better than a crunchy saussage? I think not


----------



## snuggletiger

Can't believe the A&W Rootbeer place had a broken ice cream machine


----------



## EllorionsDarlingAngel

Can 6 weeks come and go already!?!?


----------



## MattB

That's right, it's Peanut Butter, and I'm not afraid to use it...


----------



## TwilightStarr

My nephew has been sick with fever and throwing up the past 2 days and now my mom has a really bad fever. 
I shall now cover the entire apartment with disinfectant spray and hide in my room for a week!! :/


----------



## CleverBomb

The best-case plan is, "maybe they'll go easy on us".


----------



## Crafty Barnardo

Almost the weekend.


----------



## Mishty

I don't want to give up.


----------



## spiritangel

If its not my place waging war its my body


----------



## snuggletiger

I just wanna go home.


----------



## MattB

Accept that most people don't give a crap, ignore them, and keep doing what you're doing.


----------



## spiritangel

must be feeling better craving chicken wings


----------



## JonesT

Anybody have a time machine??


----------



## CAMellie

Kidney stones suck ass!!


----------



## Lovelyone

This friendship isn't working for me.


----------



## JonesT

Not looking forward to looking after inmates for the next 12 hours..


----------



## Oona

Tomorrow will be better... oh wait... No, tomorrow will be a big slap in the face. Fuck.


----------



## Dmitra

"And three created the ten thousand things of the world," that I have to get to packing for the move.


----------



## Lovelyone

you are five years old and you are not supposed to laugh at other people's misfortune--but laughing at WIPEOUT is totally acceptable.


----------



## spiritangel

Wow 3 messages within 5 minutes should I feel sorry for you that you have nothing else to do this easter?


----------



## Victoria08

I don't know what to do!


----------



## spiritangel

Victoria08 said:


> I don't know what to do!


 
if you need a sounding board feel free to pm me  sometimes someone who is not involved at all in any way shape or form can see a new perspective 





I got the Devil Card as my Tarot card for today and have to say I think it fits (mwah ha ha)


----------



## spiritangel

your the person who is so obsessed with me and what I am doing that you cant stay away for more than a month or two at a time...... that is who you are!


----------



## JonesT

I am super depressed


----------



## Morganer

I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume and if Sarah can use headphones while she's *blink* collating then I feel that I should be able to listen to the radio at a reasonable volume between 9Am and 11AM.


----------



## spiritangel

JonesT said:


> I am super depressed



Sorry to hear this lots of squishy hugs and a recomendation to watch something that makes you laugh, or do something you enjoy


----------



## Morganer

I cross my heart and I hope to die that i'll only stay with you one more night.


----------



## MattB

You're like a breath of fresh bear.


----------



## CAMellie

Mmmmmm Easter sex!


----------



## Linda

The voice in my head is giving me directions


----------



## spiritangel

the question is do I care who you are?


----------



## snuggletiger

"And your name is?"


----------



## TwilightStarr

Any of my fellow dimmers who are really good with torrents and ebooks I have a favor to ask :batting:

I am trying to get the new Black Dagger Brotherhood book called Lover At Last by JR Ward.

I found a couple torrents but none of them worked, so if one of you lovelies can get it for me, that would be AWESOME!!! :batting:


----------



## Dmitra

"Are you gonna look at more anime or are you strictly into dick now?"


----------



## spiritangel

So many butterflies


----------



## EllorionsDarlingAngel

Can't wait for school to be over, 5 more weeks!


----------



## CleverBomb

It's nice to think that maybe I'm not doomed after all.


----------



## CleverBomb

Brevity is the soul of wit, and my wit's a ginger.


----------



## SarahLaughsAlot

I'm nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.


----------



## dharmabean

oh em gee, my feet smell like the walking dead.


----------



## spiritangel

You know what maybe this year I should stop beating myself up trying to find the money to buy them all presents, I am so over it always being 4x the amount for everything


----------



## Lovelyone

It doesn't feel like extra strength to me.


----------



## Tad

When you keep choosing "I want to be right" over "I want to be happy"...... Is it any wonder you are not happy?


----------



## snuggletiger

Don't look at me you're the one who stunk it up, hence why we call you stinky.


----------



## x0emnem0x

Too much to do - just not enough time to do it.


----------



## Dmitra

Hold on, I just have one more monkey.


----------



## Lovelyone

Alex, I think I will take "Questions I never thought I would have to answer for 1,000"

No Aubrey, you may not sit on my back and fart.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

Part of me wants to take up classical acoustic guitar again just so I can do a version of Strauss' Blue Danube Waltz or the Dave Brubeck Quartet's "Take Five" without it sounding like complete shit (like 99% of the renditions I've seen on YouTube); I need Difficulty Level: Asian Vulcan examples.


----------



## MattB

Please stop asking me how I feel about everything, the standard response is "I don't care" because I really don't.


----------



## Victoria08

I need to download some workout music asap.


----------



## Oona

Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman's got to hold on to.


----------



## EllorionsDarlingAngel

Why does my 2 1/2 year old have to be so ornery! LOL


----------



## Mathias

Oh, you silver tongued devil you!


----------



## spiritangel

I really should have asked you about him months ago, thanks for being honest with me.


----------



## TwilightStarr

My sister got arrested yesterday and called to say what happened and she was calling from her cell phone, so I was like "how do you still have your cell phone in there?" and she said "oh I am just in a holding cell, they won't take my phone til I get processed"

SERIOUSLY?!?!?!

She said that shit so calm, it was like she was at the airport and they took her shoes and she was like "oh I won't get them back til I go through the body scan"

SERIOUSLY?!?!?!


----------



## MattB

Hollywood babbles on, on and on and on and on and...


----------



## CleverBomb

_Opera Buffa_ is not, despite how the name sounds, performed in the nude.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

"I always feel like, somebody's watchin' meee... "


----------



## Lovelyone

Icicles,really...wasn't it supposed to be 65 degrees today?


----------



## CAMellie

Vaginas look like face-huggers.


----------



## spiritangel

mmm Sunday must be time for a roasty toasty brunch


----------



## big_lad27

Why is it when I really like someone they end up living half way across the world


----------



## CleverBomb

The people people who might know, are also the people who would have deliberately not paid attention.


----------



## spiritangel

to sell now or wait that is the question?


----------



## EllorionsDarlingAngel

Go away you silly migraine, you are not wanted anymore!


----------



## Morganer

Didn't want to swim, so boat to an island so remote only Johnny Depp has ever been to it before.


----------



## snuggletiger

My changing my preference in BBW's would be like you being able to walk without your limp.


----------



## Morganer

You think you got it, oh you think you got it, but got it just don't get it until there's nothing at all.


----------



## Oona

I make mistakes, but it's probably some kind of karmic way to balance out the universe. Otherwise, it wouldn't be fair to have one person so full of awesomeness.


----------



## Morganer

Mmmhmm now watch that cell get all soft and gelly.. yeah, you got an internal short.


----------



## big_lad27

I feel like hell inside and out


----------



## Piink

Way to go stupid. You've done earned yourself another notch on the "How many times can I f*ck this up?" board.


----------



## TwilightStarr

Family court this morning and the judge gave my sister a list of things she had to do in the next 6 months if she wants to get custody back. 
Which included an immediate(like in the next 4 hours) drug test, drug classes, straightening out all of her other court issues, and a couple other things that I doubt she will do.
Also that's only if she stays out of jail and since she is still driving her van with no license, no insurance, no tags, & 2 bench warrants. It's only a matter of time before she gets arrested again and the traffic court judge told her if she got arrested again she would be in jail for at least 6 months.

Also today was my first appointment with the neurologist and he sent me home with a shit ton of information that I have to read and decide on which injections I want to get started on


----------



## Morganer

I don't want be another wave in the ocean, I am a rock not just another grain of sand.


----------



## Lovelyone

Where are my fig newtons, bitch?


----------



## Morganer

Now all Beyonces and Lucy Luis, get on the floor.


----------



## MattB

I think I need to quit this field.


----------



## HottiMegan

Yyyaaaaawwwwwnnnn!


----------



## Oona

YOU'RE CONTAGIOUS! You touched me and passed it on... I hate you.


----------



## Piink

I should probably go get stitches ... Or not.


----------



## CleverBomb

F*ck those little elves and their hollow tree.


----------



## Piink

I need a vacation, I need to get gone for a while and forget about everything happening here, even if it is for only a week. Sadly, my bank account does not agree.


----------



## CleverBomb

You want to tempt the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing?


----------



## Morganer

If you ride like thunder, you're gonna crash like lightning.


----------



## CAMellie

"Would it help if I got out and pushed?"


----------



## Tad

Losing weight would be easier if there were no cinnamon rolls in the world.


----------



## snuggletiger

With the Boss leaving, whats gonna happen to me ?


----------



## Deven

Tenser, said the Tensor... Tension, apprehension, and dissension have begun.


----------



## SSBBW Katerina

I like Geoff and Secretariat, but he needs to go back to the hand puppets. I miss 'Wavy' and 'Sid' and 'Cheeky Monkey'.


----------



## Lovelyone

Why is he wearing his underpants on his head?


----------



## Oona

He's making tattoos for my car and posters for my walls &#9829;&#8255;&#9829;


----------



## snuggletiger

Amazing how many married men are enjoying my leftovers.


----------



## CleverBomb

Not just wrong, but clinically wrong.


----------



## Victoria08

I think things are finally looking up...I haven't smiled this much in ages :happy:


----------



## Morganer

You gotta love the Blue Devil.


----------



## Dmitra

Making people believe they're hearing truth even when they know it's all make believe? Abracadabra.


----------



## Oona

Go figure, Motivation kicks in on Friday...


----------



## ODFFA

Good thing I have too much common sense and not nearly enough courage or I'd be doing some stupid, stupid shit right now.


----------



## CleverBomb

The skunk that just walked right past me on the patio seemed remarkably demure.


----------



## CAMellie

It's kinda sad that it took medication...but...I FINALLY GOT CAUGHT UP ON MY SLEEP!:happy:


----------



## Piink

Getting stood up sucks ...


----------



## SSBBW Katerina

Sometimes you just want to take a chair to the back of some a-hole's head.


----------



## Lovelyone

It was a sweet gesture,just the same.


----------



## EllorionsDarlingAngel

Today my Mom, daughter and I are going dress shopping for my dress for my best friends wedding!


----------



## littlefairywren

Every time you visit you suck out my internet.


----------



## CleverBomb

I always get the pork.


----------



## Mathias

I guess if you actually wanted to see me, you'd have made an effort.


----------



## AuntHen

That is absolutely NOT cool!!!


----------



## Oona

I'm tapping out.


----------



## TwilightStarr

Seriously?! Had the most amazing night last night and today I feel like I have the flu


----------



## big_lad27

Depression is starting to kick in :'-(


----------



## spiritangel

Wow I crammed a lot into just 3 hours


----------



## BigBluesMo

Tell me how you really feel!

_*"Some folk built like this, some folk built like that
But the way I'm built, you shouldn't call me fat
Because I'm built for comfort, I ain't built for speed" - Howling Wolf & Willie Dixon*_


----------



## CAMellie

I almost accidentally OD'd yesterday


----------



## Dmitra

This town ain't big enough for the both of us and it ain't me who's gonna leave.


----------



## CleverBomb

Side effects include nausea, a weird ringing in your ears, and the weird sense that everything you've ever known or loved is just one big joke and the punchline is coming real soon.


----------



## Victoria08

It has been way too long.


----------



## Linda

It's so hard working for your friend.


----------



## danielson123

Confused: Sorry, thought it was the right thing to do.


----------



## Lovelyone

Falling asleep with gum in your mouth is NOT a good thing.


----------



## Mathias

I miss you too.


----------



## MattB

Sunshine, warmth, birds chirping, a gentle breeze, I can't breathe..."spring".


----------



## Linda

This is NOT thin crust emm effers! lol


----------



## spiritangel

bah humbug to wonky days


----------



## MattB

I think the Earth tilted and no one is talking about it.


----------



## big_lad27

I ache allover, I need a massage


----------



## imaginarydiva21

im bored bored bored


----------



## EllorionsDarlingAngel

I have 4 days left and I will be done with my classes and on to my internship!!!!!
:bounce::bounce::bounce:


----------



## Dmitra

She was an exception to every allowance.


----------



## MattB

Some people just like everything, even if they have no clue what anything is.


----------



## TwilightStarr

I feel like I should do something to celebrate my upcoming birthday, just don't know what


----------



## penguin

Much needed new clothes are hard to get without money


----------



## Piink

Just twisted my ankle ...


----------



## Linda

Humerous to see some things never change. bwahahaha


----------



## CleverBomb

It can be used that way, but if you have to ask whether it can, you shouldn't try it.


----------



## EllorionsDarlingAngel

I LOVE thunder storms!


----------



## snuggletiger

2 months in so far.


----------



## Piink

EllorionsDarlingAngel said:


> I LOVE thunder storms!



I was so happy when it rained today. While I'm not fond of lightning, the sound of the rain and thunder is quite soothing.


----------



## CAMellie

There's about to be a what? GIRLFIGHT!


----------



## EllorionsDarlingAngel

Piink said:


> I was so happy when it rained today. While I'm not fond of lightning, the sound of the rain and thunder is quite soothing.



Same here! Rain and thunder calm me down and it's so relaxing to listen to and watch.


----------



## EllorionsDarlingAngel

snuggletiger said:


> 2 months in so far.



Sounds like a good thing?


----------



## CleverBomb

Really? Really?! Oy.


----------



## Linda

I horse kicked today in the teeth.


----------



## MattB

You bet your sweet bippy!


----------



## Mathias

No it can't be. I'll just ignore, but then she's never looked at me that way before.


----------



## HottiMegan

I love hearing happy chirps of the birds in my back yard.


----------



## Mathias

Why settle for one when I can just have them all?


----------



## ButlerGirl09

It's probably time to break out the moonshine...


----------



## largenlovely

Please stay on this upward trend  pretty please


----------



## Linda

I always knew I was THAT sweet.


----------



## Piink

Sunburnt again, darn it!!!!


----------



## MattB

That, my friends, was a beatdown...


----------



## Mathias

I get happy just by seeing your name pop up in my newsfeed. :wubu:


----------



## CleverBomb

It's obvious what I'm doing; the part that nobody understands is why I'm doing it.


----------



## Victoria08

It's too hot to sleep


----------



## Tad

You all say that these reviews are important, history shows that we catch potential bugs in these reviews.....but when it comes to actually showing up to the reviews you all make a sack of cats look like a military drill team in comparison. (and to cheat and put in a second sentence.....) I'd throw up my hands and say I don't care, except that--like the rest of you--I have options in this company and we have a real chance to make them worth something if we don't totally cock it up by, say, starting manufacturing before we've actually checked things properly. 

:doh:


----------



## spiritangel

2 weeks omg just 2 weeks I have to get these finished or die trying


----------



## CleverBomb

She's a cat -- I swear to G-d she's a f-cking cat!


----------



## Lovelyone

You are like water. When water finds an obstacle in its way it does not give up. It just finds a new route to take to get to it's destination.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

This is my descent into madness.


----------



## spiritangel

I love you, you helped make me who I am today.


----------



## MattB

Here is another word I don't like- "percolate".


----------



## Linda

Patience? I have patience? Wait when did you say again? Oh nevermind. I'lll wait. *tap tap tap* <sigh>


----------



## MattB

I don't even know where to begin to explain how epic that was.


----------



## spiritangel

How does my Phone know I am fat? I asked it to type something into a text with voice and ended up with "Hello haha I fat"


----------



## Linda

Like sands through the hourglass.....


----------



## Librarygirl

It's like something from a novel....(and I really hope the end is the one I want!)


----------



## MsugarNspice

OMG please tell me I did NOT put my bras in the dryer :doh:


----------



## HottiMegan

I need some cookies STAT!


----------



## ButlerGirl09

The dog is trying to steal my wine.


----------



## snuggletiger

Rest in peace grandfather and I wonder what you thought as you saw the face of God.


----------



## x0emnem0x

You'd think with this much coughing I would have black lung or smokers cough or something.


----------



## snuggletiger

Linda said:


> Like sands through the hourglass.....





*in his best McDonald Carey voice * so are the days of our lives


----------



## Morganer

The world is closing in, but did you ever think that we could be so close - like brothers?


----------



## Linda

Damn! This is like a reoccurring nightmare up in here!


----------



## TwilightStarr

Who wants to come over and watch Secretary?


----------



## Victoria08

Calm down, it's just a penny!


----------



## Lovelyone

That's all fine and dandy but...its not.


----------



## spiritangel

sometimes your generosity floors me


----------



## CleverBomb

Ok, I guess I actually am doing that.


----------



## 1love_emily

I think I'm getting sick


----------



## Oona

Yea, about that... 

I quit.


----------



## Victoria08

This new hair colour was perhaps not the best choice.


----------



## Fattitude1

Glad you're fat.


----------



## Lovelyone

sorry m'luv but 1 1/2 hours of Spongebob followed by 1 1/2 hours of Jimmy Neutron is just not my idea of having fun.


----------



## MattB

Let's Shake, Rattle and Roll!


----------



## CAMellie

Yeah, so twig bitches like you don't call me that behind my back.


----------



## Morganer

It's not a bus!


----------



## snuggletiger

Hey Jackson you sure you want to buy a woman a diamond? IJS


----------



## MattB

I think the only response is to grow a "screw you mustache".


----------



## snuggletiger

Face it Dick you gotta swallow it, they stole it from you fair and square.,-- choitner


----------



## HottiMegan

Please save me from those gaseous emissions!!


----------



## spiritangel

Does it seriously Matter if the quote is slightly wrong when you were bitching about spoilers earlier in the day and now I have managed to piss you off oh joy.


----------



## AuntHen

if you keep beating that dead horse, maybe he will be deader


----------



## CAMellie

I seriously just wanna punch you in the face right now.


----------



## Morganer

Never let your fear decide your fate (I say you kill your heroes in flight, flight, don't you worry because everybody will die.)


----------



## J34

It's so hot... milk was a bad choice


----------



## CleverBomb

Big rig carrying fruit crashes on 210 Freeway, creates jam.

(This was an actual headline in the Los Angles Times today.)


----------



## largenlovely

CleverBomb said:


> Big rig carrying fruit crashes on 210 Freeway, creates jam.
> 
> (This was an actual headline in the Los Angles Times today.)



Lol that's hilarious


----------



## spiritangel

CAMellie said:


> Yeah, so twig bitches like you don't call me that behind my back.



finally saw this on the weekend Love Love loved it, and she really does steal the movie.

Well it's done one more damn event to go to alone


----------



## Victoria08

Only 10 more days until I am laying on a beach for a week.


----------



## Morganer

I had a few that looked like they were dredged out of a river run good.


----------



## Oona

This is as punched as this thing gets- it's a tank, not a [email protected]!#*%g Lamborghini.


----------



## Morganer

The Facebook generation is fed up with Facebook.


----------



## CleverBomb

Yeah, I think I'll plan my academic future based on a 3AM television advertisement.


----------



## Morganer

Once again this is something that should have been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!! (Adam Sandler, "The Wedding Singer.")


----------



## CleverBomb

It's your one-way ticket to LongBeach... call it, lightweight metal noise.


----------



## Linda

Why are you overthinking...EVERYTHING!


----------



## Lovelyone

yeah well idiots learn the hard way not to put a beebee gun into the hands of a 2 1/2 year old.


----------



## Librarygirl

So today I ended up talking about a book with walnuts on the cover....

The things that happen when you work in a place where it is impossible to be alone with someone.


----------



## Tad

It's quiet. _Too _quiet......


----------



## Victoria08

Well, the phone call that I have been dreading finally happened today...now i'm freaking out to the point where I just want to sit and cry. (Irrational fear of hospitals is a bitch, especially when you need to have surgery.)


----------



## CleverBomb

We're far from home -- it's for the better.


----------



## Dromond

The future is too much like the past.


----------



## CleverBomb

I've been crippled by guilt, blinded by science; I've been waiting for tomorrow all of my life.


----------



## Fuzzy

Real life is nowhere like minecraft. I spent an hour trying to dig one block in real life. I need TNT more than you know.


----------



## MattB

Goodbye playoff beard.


----------



## MsugarNspice

Torture device removed (bra with side bones) long nightie on, ready for my pedicure...ahhhh the boring pleasures of having the house to myself on Saturday night :happy:


----------



## Morganer

Oh, that's funny.


----------



## Morganer

Bratia paruzu (Brothers in arms)


----------



## WVMountainrear

&#9834; &#9835; "I thought that you might have some advice to give on how to be insensitive" &#9835; &#9834;


----------



## Lovelyone

It's just not a baked potato unless you put sour cream on it.


----------



## Morganer

Very happy that it's a sunny Memorial Day that appears to have normal beautiful weather!


----------



## CAMellie

Some people aren't who they're claiming to be...just look around.


----------



## Dromond

The purpose combines the selective thought.


----------



## Morganer

Why would someone tell you that you had a boyfriend that looks like the girlfriend that you had in February of last year?


----------



## Linda

Sometimes you can be too open and honest with someone.


----------



## Lovelyone

Stop spying on me, it is quite annoying.


----------



## Weirdo890

For God's sake man, put on some pants.


----------



## CAMellie

It's so easy to sit on your lazy asses and judge without knowing the full story.:happy:


----------



## Morganer

I was lost one night and in the distance I spotted a purple Bell and I thought to myself, think outside the bun so I ran to your doors and ask for the cheesiest gordita crunch you can make. I was not disappointed.


----------



## Lovelyone

I know it's weird but I cannot help but to wonder what a child derived from Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory and Roger from American Dad would be like.


----------



## CAMellie

Shit happens.


----------



## Morganer

Three, four holes in the ozone worldwide due to massive production. - Dan Aykroyd, Los Angeles


----------



## Morganer

Were starships really meant to fly? And what is a starship?


----------



## Morganer

I wonder how many people applied for that job at History Channel and they said "Wow PHD from Cambridge?!? Nah, we want someone that looked like they stuck a fork in an outlet."


----------



## KittyKitten

Just realized Adam Levine sounds just like Akon......I wanna kiss them both! :wubu::wubu:


----------



## Your Plump Princess

our life can't happen soon enough...


----------



## CAMellie

New jewelry makes me feel pretty :happy:


----------



## MsugarNspice

It's raining....inside sigh calling the plumber tomorrow


----------



## CAMellie

Mmmmmm Peach Tea Snapple :eat2:


----------



## Lovelyone

I'm gonna get you, sucker.


----------



## Morganer

The bed has made all the difference.


----------



## spiritangel

Oh yeah David because Dr Phil really reads my blog


----------



## CAMellie

WTH? Have these dogs been drinking coffee??? LOL


----------



## HottiMegan

You need an education degree to figure out report cards these days!


----------



## Morganer

Welcome to the city of bones.


----------



## Donna

Oh my goodness, you're wearing Christian Grey red room jeans.


----------



## Lovelyone

Stewie you are delightfully wicked and sarcastic, no wonder I love you so much.


----------



## MsugarNspice

So, why can't they be closer, or perhaps thats why they seem so interested? No risk?


----------



## spiritangel

God I love Eddie Izzard


----------



## x0emnem0x

The only thing you have to do in life is die, the rest is a choice.


----------



## Morganer

Smokers are fools.


----------



## MsugarNspice

I love soakin in vitamin D! :happy:


----------



## CAMellie

Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.


----------



## Fuzzy

Its June 1st and I already hate the drive-by ice cream person.


----------



## spiritangel

OMG I have a wardrobe half filled with clothes who knew


----------



## HottiMegan

Sunshine makes me sleepy


----------



## MattB

Up until 5 minutes ago I thought it was still May.


----------



## Lovelyone

Oh I wish there were more hours in the day and more Orphan Black on tv.


----------



## Weirdo890

You don't get to be old by being a fool.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Can we go back to december?..


----------



## largenlovely

I suck at making decisions when there are so many options/paths to take.


----------



## spiritangel

'When the student is ready the teacher will appear'


----------



## CleverBomb

Derp is just the sound of intelligence leaving your body.


----------



## Lovelyone

I want cocoa.


----------



## spiritangel

I think I am officially addicted to ebay


----------



## Morganer

Give them guns, step back, watch them kill each other.


----------



## MattB

I have a new bass guitar and I love it so much, we're lying down on the couch together watching the hockey game.


----------



## MsugarNspice

I can't move the freezer where I want it and now have to fill the hole back in!!


----------



## CleverBomb

I may have to buy the new Daft Punk CD.


----------



## CAMellie

My husband and the neighbor look like little boys sitting there playing video games. :happy:


----------



## Weirdo890

I'm not a child, but I'm still not a man.


----------



## CleverBomb

ARE YOU! THE BRAIN! SPECIALIST?

...My brain hurts, too.


----------



## Linda

It's the final countdown.


----------



## littlefairywren

I'm sure you think you know and I'm more than sure you really, really want to know. Never, never, NEVER! (Insert demonic laugh here).


----------



## Lovelyone

Well I guess someone had a huge bowl of bitch with a side order of grump for lunch today.


----------



## NYCGabriel

I don't want hot sauce in my soup.


----------



## Linda

The answer is....VERY.


----------



## RabbitScorpion

Where did the warm weather go?


----------



## CAMellie

My goofy dog keeps eating the ants on the front porch.


----------



## Librarygirl

Wish I could go to Hogwarts and learn spells and time travel to solve my problems, or failing that have a midnight feast and an invisibility cloak!


----------



## Lovelyone

It's not that hard to do, just open the cap and pour.


----------



## Victoria08

Back to reality


----------



## snuggletiger

Hey Hipstah There's a reason the answer to life is 42. Douglas Adams wasn't that freakin smart. Oh and to the guy in the yellow shirt, That sushi that's been sitting there so long that the rice is greenish might be why you got a tummy ache; and to the lovely lady leaving the ice cream store $1.79 for a single scoop is robbery.


----------



## AuntHen

oh my word, stop that confounded whistling!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Lovelyone

when someone asks for a bag of plain bagels and a bag of cinnamon bagels...you shouldn't come home with two bags of cinnamon/raisin bagels from two different producers.


----------



## MattB

See here how everything, lead up to this day?


----------



## Weirdo890

Oh, you are such a little douche-canoe.


----------



## AuntHen

Beware of wolves in sheep's clothing.


----------



## KittyKitten

Why is it you fellows want a woman to send a cute cell phone pic but you all are so hesitant to send a picture of yourselves?


----------



## Lovelyone

Yes, you CAN have microwave popcorn for breakfast.


----------



## HottiMegan

The global epidemic of fat hate grinds my gears. Being a disgusting human being is more accepted than being fat..


----------



## Victoria08

Note to self: Think positive...you deserve this.


----------



## spiritangel

I think no matter how old I get I am still going to be watching kids shows even in the nursing home.


----------



## Librarygirl

What a lot of beard related conversations I've had of late.


----------



## TwilightStarr

Somedays it boogles my mind that I am a single 29 year old virgin, that lives like a housewife and is raising a 5 year old!!!


----------



## MattB

Your cat, is in a "rut".


----------



## CleverBomb

If you are confused, check with the Sun.


----------



## Morganer

Jessie is a friend.


----------



## Lovelyone

I didn't know how hot it was going to be.


----------



## Morganer

I would like to get lucky.


----------



## spiritangel

Sometimes being a woman is ouchy


----------



## largenlovely

Not interested means just that...not interested.


----------



## CleverBomb

I overheard the shopping channel saying something abut 54 K-cups, but it turned out to be just bulk packages of coffeemaker refills.


----------



## Lovelyone

Sorry little boy, I am NOT sticking my hand in that pocket cos I don't know what's in there.


----------



## snuggletiger

What makes someone diamond worthy?


----------



## Dromond

One of the things in life that is guaranteed is that dogs and children will follow you to the bathroom.


----------



## HottiMegan

I wonder if Nair works on back hair. (not mine)


----------



## spiritangel

Seriously I am not about to die I wish people would actually read what is written and stop assuming the worst


----------



## Morganer

spiritangel said:


> Seriously I am not about to die I wish people would actually read what is written and stop assuming the worst



Welcome to the land of the living! Glad.


----------



## Lovelyone

well..if you'd teach your children how to appreciate what's given to them and not think that they are ENTITLED to it...we wouldn't have that problem, now would we?


----------



## CAMellie

I talk to my dog like she's a people...thank goodness she's never answered me!


----------



## ButlerGirl09

CAMellie said:


> I talk to my dog like she's a people...thank goodness she's never answered me!



If she does, then I'd be worried


----------



## CAMellie

ButlerGirl09 said:


> If she does, then I'd be worried



Exactly! LOL


----------



## Weirdo890

Curese you Ewoks; you may win this time, but we'll meet again!


----------



## HottiMegan

It's the middle of june and i'm freezing.. wtf?


----------



## Victoria08

The more I think about it, the more pissed off and offended I get.


----------



## CleverBomb

It sounds convincingly as though it was purely civic responsibility, but I'd be hard-pressed to argue that it wasn't just NIMBY-ism and preserving real-estate values.


----------



## Morganer

Police in Iowa were involved with a car chase with a drunk 13-year-old boy through a neighborhood before he crashed his grandmother's car into a tree.


----------



## Lovelyone

Cinnapie, it's worth the calories.


----------



## CleverBomb

There's a limit to doing more with less -- eventually, you have to have more to do with, or end up doing less.


----------



## CAMellie

Blah blah blah blahblahblah <--- that's all I hear


----------



## CleverBomb

You know, I think that was an earthquake.
Nevermind. G*dd*amn raccoons on the roof.


----------



## Lovelyone

UGh, it's already 84 degrees at 10 a.m. and with the humidity it feels like 104.


----------



## Archetypus

There is no way to tell the length or depth of one's personal triumphs or disparate encounters which have molded their inner story without loving that person first. There is plenty on the outside but the inside is what truly speaks volumes...


----------



## spiritangel

so cold so bloody cold winter is not going to be kind to us this year


----------



## largenlovely

Excuse me....my eyes are up here.


----------



## CleverBomb

If there isn't a steampunk rave festival called the Mechanical Daisy Carnival, there really should be. 

(Imagine a steam-driven mechanically-operated symphony orchestra, with chains of punch-cards as a sequencer, and a massive organ keyboard. Now imagine Mozart or Wagner composing for it... and Liszt remixing the cards and playing it live!)


----------



## Crafty Barnardo

Fat girls will be the death of me. Lol smh


----------



## Lovelyone

You cannot use the word juxtaposition in a sentence about why you do not like Jello.


----------



## CleverBomb

So, as soon as you're ready, douse your eyes with hot sauce and club yourself in the nuts.

Oddly, this was NOT an insult, but was actually amiable encouragement!


----------



## Weirdo890

Hand me down that can of beans.


----------



## spiritangel

I need a snuggly buddy


----------



## MattB

The weather channel says it's clear, so that is most definitely not lightning.


----------



## Weirdo890

Welcome to the Corporate States of America.


----------



## CPProp

Middle of summer and 13 deg C (55.4 F), did someone forget to switch on the sun?


----------



## spiritangel

the point of medication is to make you feel better not worse


----------



## Morganer

Judging by the brightness and intensity of everything out the window, and just how bright everything looks, it appears that today will be another STEAMY hot day!


----------



## Weirdo890

I should be drawing.


----------



## WhiteHotRazor

Hawks Win!!!!!!!


----------



## Lovelyone

What's the difference?


----------



## MattB

I need more thunder.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I just want to get class done tonight


----------



## Weirdo890

Who are you people and where is my horse?


----------



## Victoria08

There's no way that I'll sleep when you're near me.


----------



## CleverBomb

If I could just figure out how to aim my OCD, I'd be a lot better off.


----------



## Lovelyone

It's way easier for some than it is for others.


----------



## Morganer

Never judge reality by your own limited experience.


----------



## Morganer

At the Wawa hoagie fest, it's a wonderful time.


----------



## Tad

So the question now is, are you 'merely' one or more of incompetent, lazy, or clueless? Or are you actually malicious? (Well, I suppose all of the above is not out of the question)


----------



## Morganer

I guess now we know how Florida folk feel when they step outside.


----------



## Weirdo890

Your mind is full of darkness, and people stick to the floor.


----------



## CleverBomb

Where I'm from, a "beach" has a deep end that goes off the continental shelf; anything else is a sandy lake shore or riverbank.


----------



## spiritangel

'Weight loss is a side effect for some people' gee thanks for being clear as to why you put me on that drug in the first place :doh:


----------



## Lovelyone

Last I looked I WAS part of your family...but whatever.


----------



## Librarygirl

Just taking a break from my bedtime reading- learning about the Elizabethan equivalent of pencil cases....(all these talks at work are reminding me what it was like to do revision for exams!!)


----------



## Oona

I want a Porn Horn for Wolverine Day


----------



## Archetypus

May your mundane be insane & your bland be grand...


----------



## spiritangel

2 bags of grated mozzarella and no bacon, 2 weeks without bacon are you freaking kidding me Woolworths online NOT HAPPY JAN!!!


----------



## Morganer

Our hopes and expectations are black holes and revelations.


----------



## Lovelyone

Bingo on the patio. Daddy-o!


----------



## Morganer

What are you doing?


----------



## Morganer

God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy.


----------



## balletguy

great song


----------



## Lovelyone

You don't want to eat that, I promise you. (said to an almost three year old who wants to try a hot pepper)


----------



## HottiMegan

I'm broken.


----------



## CPProp

Glastonbury 200,000 people and 5,000 porta loos, no wonder its so muddy


----------



## indy500tchr

What's up Sugarbutt?


----------



## Weirdo890

Honey, have you seen my gimp suit?


----------



## HottiMegan

I'm so scared he won't wake up in the morning.


----------



## Morganer

A person is not old until their regrets take the place of their dreams.


----------



## Weirdo890

Love is never simple.


----------



## ScreamingChicken

After two days straight in the pool under the blazing Texas sun, I an now available in Extra Crispy as well as Original.


----------



## spiritangel

I am paler than a vampire


----------



## CleverBomb

Well, at least now I know what you really think my priorities ought to be.


----------



## BBWbonnie

I'm sucking my thumb and watching my cat who looks like a great black fat ball 
I seriously need to get out more.....


----------



## Victoria08

I don't need it, but I really want it.


----------



## Morganer

He comes up and sniffs the money!


----------



## Lovelyone

Why does he have to be so freakin' sexy?


----------



## spiritangel

I really miss having someone to flirt and be silly with


----------



## flyingsolo101

I'm very proud of the cup of coffee I just made, and I haven't even tasted it yet.


----------



## snuggletiger

How do "busy" exes find time to read my FB posts? <aside> "I didn't know my musings were amusing or en vogue"


----------



## Morganer

8-6-7-5-3-0-9.


----------



## ScreamingChicken

Other women notice when you treat your lady well.


----------



## snuggletiger

ScreamingChicken said:


> Other women notice when you treat your lady well.



I enjoy sending a lady flowers. And its nice she likes them too.


----------



## MattB

I'm about to steal that pic-a-nic basket.


----------



## Morganer

People need to get up off it and stop giving me attitude.


----------



## 1love_emily

The chord for my headphones is about 8 feet long and I wish I was exaggerating. I could walk my dog with this chord. 

Also, I prefer sleeping in tank tops to any other kind of shirt.


----------



## spiritangel

Seriously thinking any man who thinks it is easy to be a woman is either an idiot or delusional


----------



## Lovelyone

I gave you twelve legitimate ideas and you refused all of them--now,I don't have any ideas left.


----------



## Morganer

You really thought you could play me?


----------



## Morganer

I think she really thought I was going to give her money!


----------



## Morganer

Wow, it sure didnt SEEM like four reeses were in that king size package of reese's cups!


----------



## Victoria08

No more running away.


----------



## RabbitScorpion

If this had been an actual summer, there would have been sunshine, starlight, visits to sandy beaches, and a suntan, this was only a test!


----------



## swinglifeaway

Whoever invented mashed potatoes must have got ALL the ladies.


----------



## Morganer

No Quattro de Julio shenanigans, I actually slept pretty well last night!


----------



## AuntHen

swinglifeaway said:


> *Whoever invented mashed potatoes* must have got ALL the ladies.



Except it probably was a woman


----------



## spiritangel

swinglifeaway said:


> Whoever invented mashed potatoes must have got ALL the ladies.



I hate to disagree however I think the person who discovered and created chocolate would beat Mr Mashed Potatoes hands down  just sayin


----------



## snuggletiger

If I could pick the best today, I'd be having ice cream with the special lady, in an air conditioned place where we could talk, giggle and smile and enjoy a nice day.


----------



## largenlovely

Fish and company both stink after 3 days


----------



## Weirdo890

I do hope that there is intelligent life out there in space, because we're lacking it here on Earth.


----------



## Morganer

Come and find me, they call me Macarena and the boys, they say I'm muy buena.


----------



## littlefairywren

Waiting for creepy uncle whom likes to call me titsy to arrive for a visit. Creepy uncle is creepy.


----------



## CleverBomb

I think T-Bone's going to explode.


----------



## Victoria08

Why can't this be happening in real life?


----------



## biggirlsrock

Fuck the fuckin' fuckers!!!


----------



## CleverBomb

Keep partying like it's your job.


----------



## Oona

Right... Sleep... That thing you're supposed to do at night.


----------



## spiritangel

I need some fun and sillyness along with a healthy dose of laughter


----------



## MattB

It still stings today.


----------



## Weirdo890

Forever is not long enough.


----------



## Fuzzy

Seriously? Mass Zombie party at my place.. BYOCreeper...


----------



## CAMellie

Gangstas In Space


----------



## Victoria08

I don't know if I can do another shift like that.


----------



## CleverBomb

Please be careful with the bass -- the last time you dropped it, it sounded like something broke.


----------



## spiritangel

Please please please keep going the way you have been


----------



## ScreamingChicken

I've been offered a very generous & attractive housing solution by the 'rents.


----------



## largenlovely

Netflix, you know me so well. If you were a man, I would marry you.


----------



## CPProp

Ive just fallen through a hole in my sock


----------



## Weirdo890

If I grow a goatee, does that make me the evil version of myself?


----------



## ScreamingChicken

Weirdo890 said:


> If I grow a goatee, does that make me the evil version of myself?


Then women must love the evil version of me because practically every woman I have been with wants me to have a goatee.


----------



## largenlovely

Why are you so obsessed with death...it's depressing.


----------



## CleverBomb

You blocked me on Facebook, and now you're going to die.


----------



## Tad

At least the all this rain is making one decision easier--watch the band playing at the stage where there is still grass, rather than the one playing the stage in front of the pool of slick mud.


----------



## Morganer

People all over the world, join hands, and start a love train, a love train.


----------



## CPProp

My Oder eaters just consumed my shoes.


----------



## Morganer

I am eating a can of beans.


----------



## CPProp

The next person to ask me for a piggy back is going to receive a pack of back bacon.


----------



## CAMellie

What dafuq you know bout this taco?


----------



## Deven

I am vaguely jealous that Penny from the Big Bang Theory is dating Superman.


----------



## Morganer

Shrimp are disgusting.


----------



## spiritangel

Damn you insomnia


----------



## Lovelyone

Yes you did, you know you did--so don't try to pull the wool over my eyes.


----------



## 1love_emily

...That awkward moment when your mom is friends with your ex on Facebook... and you aren't.


----------



## HottiMegan

The sad realization that your 4 year old can stay up later than you with no problem.


----------



## ScreamingChicken

I am seriously contemplating water aerobics,


----------



## HottiMegan

ScreamingChicken said:


> I am seriously contemplating water aerobics,



me too!


----------



## CleverBomb

Let's play "Tripping for Kibbles!"


----------



## CleverBomb

I wish I was in Tijuana, eating barbecued iguana.


----------



## spiritangel

I can't believe that took nearly all day.


----------



## Morganer

Wowowow is it HUMID today, I am so thankful to God the car has WORKING AIR CONDITIONING, THAT on it works very well!


----------



## The Orange Mage

my eyes feel like butt


----------



## Morganer

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night.


----------



## Morganer

Go ahead, let your hair down, side firing baby jeans.


----------



## Weirdo890

Where's The Toxic Avenger when you need him?


----------



## Morganer

My name is Luca.


----------



## Mathias

"You don't know me...but you're about to."


----------



## Morganer

To the left to the left to the left to the left kick and walk it by yourself, walk it walk it by yourself.


----------



## CPProp

Its worrying when your 50+ sun screen is younger than you


----------



## spiritangel

hmm I wonder how much this is going to cost me :/


----------



## Lovelyone

wow, so you are going to bitch to ME about not having food money? WOW.


----------



## CAMellie

The greenage makes me happy :happy:


----------



## spiritangel

Syncronicity is out in full force today


----------



## CleverBomb

Science is susceptible.


----------



## Oona

And lo in a cloud of glitter and synthesizers he doth appear... David fucking Bowie.


----------



## ScreamingChicken

Hey...come on, man...wake up...


----------



## snuggletiger

Hung Jury you heard it here.


----------



## CPProp

Will these wisdom teeth ever kick in?


----------



## Lovelyone

Reading the fine print while suffering a terrible headache is worse than having a tooth pulled without anesthetic


----------



## Morganer

Back off, man, I'm a scientist!


----------



## spiritangel

My fingers smell so good


----------



## MrSensible

If it starts with "No offense", prepare to be.


----------



## CleverBomb

I feel it in my bones, enough to make my system glow.


----------



## Oona

Sleep? What's that? Not sleeping on Friday nights is my new tradition!


-_-'


----------



## Morganer

Well, that was somewhat unexpected upon wake-up this morning!


----------



## spiritangel

I am determined to be well enough to go to Bundanon in the Morning


----------



## Lovelyone

It's pretty good and I didn't think it would be.


----------



## Morganer

This heat is really something, I can't imagine if I lived somewhere hotter.


----------



## ScreamingChicken

I am lost in the lost & found.


----------



## Mathias

I cannot stop laughing right now.


----------



## Lovelyone

Your whole sentence makes absolutely NO sense and I cannot believe that people are agreeing with you and not telling you that its nonsense.


----------



## spiritangel

what an awesome day


----------



## Librarygirl

Wish a watched pot would boil!


----------



## spiritangel

So many things to be grateful for


----------



## Mathias

Annie, are you ok?


----------



## CleverBomb

You can't know why I'm being so nice to you today.
But you're the best kitty.


----------



## Victoria08

I want sweatpants and chocolate...and that kind of says it all, doesn't it?


----------



## WVMountainrear

I just killed a bug with a porn.


----------



## ScreamingChicken

This just had to start while she was with me?


----------



## snuggletiger

Could always be worse, you could be that kid with herpes on the face


----------



## Mathias

She doesn't even go here!


----------



## largenlovely

Mathias said:


> She doesn't even go here!



Hahahahaha


----------



## swinglifeaway

Two time felon? Was the buttsex too good the first time around?


----------



## CAMellie

I shouldn't have to pay to bleed


----------



## Archetypus

Let us love with true love those who love us.


----------



## CleverBomb

The pen is mightier.


----------



## snuggletiger

I wouldn't go out if I was you smelling like that.


----------



## nyygirl25

If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding!!!!


----------



## HottiMegan

Sleep.. I can't has that


----------



## CPProp

Tennis is a noisy game, there is always so much racket.


----------



## Oona

Screw you, I have trail mix! 


And it has chocolate o.o


----------



## ScreamingChicken

Oh well...I wanted to be in this dark, cold room with 2 fans running anyway. Thanks boys!


----------



## Lovelyone

Go ahead and eat that delicious smelling taco bell in front of me. I hope it'll put side saddles on you. heheh.


----------



## largenlovely

You're obviously cheating. C'mon, I see your facebook posts. I know you don't know words that big *eyeroll*


----------



## spiritangel

What a wonderful day


----------



## Victoria08

Wish me luck, I think I'm going to need it.


----------



## MrSensible

"When you have a fire in an aircraft, there's no place to go, exactly, there's no  and you can't find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don't open. I don't know why they don't do that. It's a real problem."


----------



## CleverBomb

Good luck. We're all counting on you.


----------



## ODFFA

Lacklustre = I don't even feel like doing what I feel like doing.


----------



## Morganer

I step out of the snark from "entitled people," you can't get me that way.


----------



## spiritangel

How can self acceptance go hand in hand with weight loss....


----------



## largenlovely

spiritangel said:


> How can self acceptance go hand in hand with weight loss....



It's very hard to manage. I was losing weight for mobility purposes before I knew it was my hip that was causing all my problems. I've always been very comfortable with being supersized and it was weird trying to lose. The smaller I got, the more awkward it felt. So I was trying to learn to accept a smaller body, which can kinda mess up your psyche lol.

ETA: though I also have a psychological issue where I'm scared to ever go below 300lbs (though I was kinda freaking out when I went below 350 this last time) so I don't know if everyone else would see it the way I do.


----------



## Lovelyone

spiritangel said:


> How can self acceptance go hand in hand with weight loss....



I love this sentence. I am going through this struggle myself. It's kind of a double edged sword, isn't it? If I say that I want to lose weight in a community that I know is designed for fat people and their admirers--people can tell me that I am not a true fat chick or that I am a sell out but outside the community people applaud my work at taking off the weight. If I continue to eat and get bigger there are people here who will applaud it, but outside the community people will condemn it. For me there is no true answer other than just accepting that what you are doing is best for YOU and accepting that you can be a terrific person no matter what size you are. 
Also, self acceptance doesn't singularly go hand in hand with a person's weight or body image. There may be other issues that they are working to be accepting of. For example, some people might have a desire to change their religion, political views, status in life, even changing hair color can be traumatic to some people. For others it may be accepting their sexual orientation or some other thing in their life that might be causing them a little angst. For me its getting my mind in line with the idea that being ME at ANY size is acceptable no matter which community I belong to and no matter what other people's opinion of it may be. (For me) Losing weight isn't an option anymore--it's become a priority and a necessity in order to be more mobile and live the life I want to live.


----------



## largenlovely

Lovelyone said:


> Also, self acceptance doesn't singularly go hand in hand with a person's weight or body image. There may be other issues that they are working to be accepting of. For example, some people might have a desire to change their religion, political views, status in life, even changing hair color can be traumatic to some people. For others it may be accepting their sexual orientation or some other thing in their life that might be causing them a little angst. For me its getting my mind in line with the idea that being ME at ANY size is acceptable no matter which community I belong to and no matter what other people's opinion of it may be. (For me) Losing weight isn't an option anymore--it's become a priority and a necessity in order to be more mobile and live the life I want to live.



Amen to that. I was always comfy at a larger size, I just never understood (still don't) why other people have a problem with my size. Live and let live.

My self esteem/self acceptance issues have always been personality related, which is typical coming from an abusive background I'm sure. Self acceptance encompasses so many different areas.


----------



## CAMellie

I am a human being who makes mistakes...just like everyone else.


----------



## CleverBomb

Good luck. We're all counting on you.


----------



## spiritangel

largenlovely said:


> It's very hard to manage. I was losing weight for mobility purposes before I knew it was my hip that was causing all my problems. I've always been very comfortable with being supersized and it was weird trying to lose. The smaller I got, the more awkward it felt. So I was trying to learn to accept a smaller body, which can kinda mess up your psyche lol.
> 
> ETA: though I also have a psychological issue where I'm scared to ever go below 300lbs (though I was kinda freaking out when I went below 350 this last time) so I don't know if everyone else would see it the way I do.





Lovelyone said:


> I love this sentence. I am going through this struggle myself. It's kind of a double edged sword, isn't it? If I say that I want to lose weight in a community that I know is designed for fat people and their admirers--people can tell me that I am not a true fat chick or that I am a sell out but outside the community people applaud my work at taking off the weight. If I continue to eat and get bigger there are people here who will applaud it, but outside the community people will condemn it. For me there is no true answer other than just accepting that what you are doing is best for YOU and accepting that you can be a terrific person no matter what size you are.
> Also, self acceptance doesn't singularly go hand in hand with a person's weight or body image. There may be other issues that they are working to be accepting of. For example, some people might have a desire to change their religion, political views, status in life, even changing hair color can be traumatic to some people. For others it may be accepting their sexual orientation or some other thing in their life that might be causing them a little angst. For me its getting my mind in line with the idea that being ME at ANY size is acceptable no matter which community I belong to and no matter what other people's opinion of it may be. (For me) Losing weight isn't an option anymore--it's become a priority and a necessity in order to be more mobile and live the life I want to live.





largenlovely said:


> Amen to that. I was always comfy at a larger size, I just never understood (still don't) why other people have a problem with my size. Live and let live.
> 
> My self esteem/self acceptance issues have always been personality related, which is typical coming from an abusive background I'm sure. Self acceptance encompasses so many different areas.





All of the above however that sentance has been on my mind this week listening to The Daily Love extravaganza and after realising that even the Hay House World Summit talked about weight loss but not Health at any size and yet it is about embracing yourself and loving yourself as you are 

I wrote a blog about it:http://heavenlyimaginings.wordpress.com/2013/07/20/something-that-has-been-on-my-mind/

It is more that you can be fat and healthy and that is so overlooked and some things that have been said just kind of grated on me because that is not true for everyone though the guy whose seminar it is has had weight and food issues so I do get that it is from his perspective, but he has also been talking about the number one issue witI h women is body image.

So it seems odd to me that the other side of the spectrum is not represented.

I don't ever focus on my size I have been focused on creating a healthier lifestyle over all and making better choices for myself.

I also don't stress over what the community at large think of me. I think we spend to much time worrying over what others think instead of what we think and feel about ourselves

though thinking this is a conversation for a different thread lol and not the random sentance which has become the random paragraphs thread


----------



## largenlovely

spiritangel said:


> All of the above however that sentance has been on my mind this week listening to The Daily Love extravaganza and after realising that even the Hay House World Summit talked about weight loss but not Health at any size and yet it is about embracing yourself and loving yourself as you are
> 
> I wrote a blog about it:http://heavenlyimaginings.wordpress.com/2013/07/20/something-that-has-been-on-my-mind/
> 
> It is more that you can be fat and healthy and that is so overlooked and some things that have been said just kind of grated on me because that is not true for everyone though the guy whose seminar it is has had weight and food issues so I do get that it is from his perspective, but he has also been talking about the number one issue witI h women is body image.
> 
> So it seems odd to me that the other side of the spectrum is not represented.
> 
> I don't ever focus on my size I have been focused on creating a healthier lifestyle over all and making better choices for myself.
> 
> I also don't stress over what the community at large think of me. I think we spend to much time worrying over what others think instead of what we think and feel about ourselves
> 
> though thinking this is a conversation for a different thread lol and not the random sentance which has become the random paragraphs thread



Ah, I see now. Yeah that can be frustrating when someone assumes that in order to reach acceptance you must lose weight. Especially at a self acceptance group type deal lol


----------



## Lovelyone

The only benefit to not being able to sleep is being able to watch the summer lightening with it's pink and purple hues.


----------



## Archetypus

Keep your eyes on the skies and the stars in your hearts.


----------



## Morganer

I think maybe some Cher songs today, about freedom.


----------



## Lovelyone

Big toe, you are not supposed to go that way.


----------



## CPProp

Events at ignition point as matches go on strike


----------



## Fuzzy

What's he do? Nibble your bum?


----------



## CAMellie

I seriously want to punch you in the face!


----------



## Mathias

At least I didn't get ahead of myself this time.


----------



## largenlovely

I accidentally asked for a Reeses Penis Sonic Blast in the drive thru....how embarrassing lol


----------



## HottiMegan

I want to start exercising again. My body is tired of being sedentary.


----------



## Crafty Barnardo

largenlovely said:


> I accidentally asked for a Reeses Penis Sonic Blast in the drive thru....how embarrassing lol



Hahahahahahah....


----------



## spiritangel

I feel like my legs have been turned into iceblocks its so damn cold


----------



## CleverBomb

Gravity is optional when you're a cat.


----------



## Lovelyone

For you, shitty isn't an option...its a way of life.


----------



## ScreamingChicken

She leads me to moonlight only to burn me with the sun.


----------



## Oona

Pink makes me feel like a million bucks


----------



## Mathias

"He's wearing body armor in the HQ...and that should tell you everything you need to know about the CIA,"


----------



## CleverBomb

This communication thing needs a bit more work.


----------



## Lovelyone

I found some peace today.


----------



## Morganer

Oooo, we got Wheel Of Fortune back!


----------



## CPProp

I see our new Royal is still in transit


----------



## spiritangel

I am ready


----------



## Morganer

I want some cookies.


----------



## CPProp

Trust Archimedes to screw things up.


----------



## Morganer

It is like it's stuck on "repeat" sometimes.


----------



## moore2me

Lovelyone said:


> I found some peace today.



Dear Lovelyone, That peace you found - I think I lost it. M2M


----------



## CAMellie

All I can visualize now is the Grim Reaper masturbating


----------



## Morganer

She was a one-eyed one-horned flying purple people eater.


----------



## Morganer

ScreamingChicken said:


> She leads me to moonlight only to burn me with the sun.



She's taken my heart, but she doesn't know what she's _dooooooooooooooone._


----------



## Fuzzy

"I have a lead based cure for syphillis."

"4 out of 5 doctors would prescribe leeches..."

"I've distilled an elixir of lead and pomegranate. Ideal for the liver!"

"Come back and see me if the arm turns black..."

-- Heard on Assassin's Creed II


----------



## CleverBomb

All this time, I was finding myself -- and I didn't know I was lost.


----------



## spiritangel

I am so proud of myself


----------



## snuggletiger

Proud of you too SpiritAngel. Yaaay for you


----------



## Oona

potatoes la la la


----------



## Morganer

Back up off it with me.


----------



## Morganer

Started form the bottom now we up.


----------



## spiritangel

I can't believe they left out the fish


----------



## CPProp

Estimating bottom up against top down is more logical.


----------



## Lovelyone

It's going to be a long long night.


----------



## CPProp

There is something fishy about sardine sandwiches


----------



## Lovelyone

sorry dear but you aren't a baby anymore and you need to put on a bra.


----------



## Morganer

I am sitting here watching the traffic, and I can tell you that some people _really_ drive like idiots.


----------



## CastingPearls

I never thought dumping anyone would feel worse than being dumped.


----------



## Lovelyone

It's just an odd sort of feeling, really.


----------



## spiritangel

The irony of you trying to catch me out on not taking my own advice when it is you who actually does that......


----------



## CleverBomb

It's been three years since the cap and static kill.


----------



## Morganer

Let the festivities COMMENCE!


----------



## Mathias

I'm finding it hard to have sympathy for your situation when it's the exact same one that you put me through.


----------



## Morganer

It's like I've waited my whole life for this one night.


----------



## Morganer

Jim Morrison of The Doors says Blood in the streets the town of New Haven.


----------



## Lovelyone

...and love walked in.


----------



## missyj1978

I suggest we learn to love ourselves before its made illegal.


----------



## Archetypus

Stop digging, consult your treasure map and reorient yourself. It is there, just beneath the surface and waiting for you to come along and unearth it.


----------



## Victoria08

I don't know how I'm going to do this for 2 months...


----------



## CleverBomb

If unsure, consult an alchemist.


----------



## Oona

And Im eating at the beat like you gave a little speed to a great white shark on shark week.


----------



## Morganer

I like the song that sounds like it is sung by Leona Lewis that comes on sometimes and has a nice melody and the words "like a hand coming out of the moonlight, you are beautiful, beautiful."


----------



## Morganer

We were merely freshmen.


----------



## Morganer

I can sing and hear me, know me.


----------



## Morganer

Omg.... My 666th post was about George Zimmerman!


----------



## spiritangel

I am sooo over this


----------



## CleverBomb

Those sharks aren't going to punch themselves!

...because they don't have _hands_.


----------



## Archetypus

Cast not your pearliest droplets to the swine riders of the apocalypse...


----------



## ScreamingChicken

I am a hummin' and a strummin' all over God's world.


----------



## Morganer

I just got a NWS alert and I love the rain.


----------



## Fattitude1

OK, made my contribution here.


----------



## CAMellie

He doesn't do it often, but when he does...DAYUM!


----------



## Archetypus

Have you ever wanted to be free of wanting to be free? Indulge yourself, fledgling...


----------



## largenlovely

Wow, that was such a shitty thing for me to say :-(


----------



## CPProp

Differential expansion could be the cause of rubbing.


----------



## Oona

Banana's... Banana's Everywhere....


----------



## Lovelyone

I wonder if I will go to hell cos I am spraying the flies with aerosol glue (so their wings will stick together and they will not buzz me any longer) as they fly by me?


----------



## CAMellie

Super positive result today


----------



## HottiMegan

Dogs are a lot of work!!


----------



## CleverBomb

Looks like another one for the Space Whale.


----------



## spiritangel

Uh Oh I'm in trouble


----------



## Lovelyone

I can't believe they look so skinny.


----------



## CPProp

When did polygon start referring to a shape and not a dead parrot.


----------



## TwilightStarr

My nephew has said he wants to be a Pirate for Halloween, so that will the 3rd halloween of his 5 years of life he has been a Pirate, I think it's sign


----------



## largenlovely

It looks like I'm actually gonna be able to swing this


----------



## snuggletiger

In the words of Don Dunphy "There's no tomorrow there's only tonight"


----------



## Lovelyone

Passive aggressive, much??


----------



## snuggletiger

How can you lose with a hip phrase like "Miss what time does the ocean close?"


----------



## Adamantoise

Try throwin' your socks...in the trash before the gots the holes in the feet.


----------



## CAMellie

Beware your friend Palpatine...and your pal Friendpatine!


----------



## Lovelyone

I am sorry that wont work...it's three inches smaller than what I usually use. (get your mind out of the gutter, pervs LOL).


----------



## spiritangel

I am sure as soon as I do my order they will do the 20% off sale to order or not to order that is the question.....


----------



## snuggletiger

Wonder what's worse being a house dick or a shamus?


----------



## CAMellie

The 14th needs to hurry the hell up, damnit!


----------



## CPProp

You cant metricate give them an inch and they'll take a yard, give them twenty five millimetres and they'll take a metre, it simply does not sound right.


----------



## Mckee

CPProp said:


> You cant metricate give them an inch and they'll take a yard, give them twenty five millimetres and they'll take a metre, it simply does not sound right.



Even worse...we use body parts here!!

"Give them a finger and they'll take an arm"


----------



## CleverBomb

Do we want to maintain order, or to create harmony?


----------



## TwilightStarr

I :wubu:love:wubu: Luke Bryan!!! That is all


----------



## missyj1978

Cause I'm a flirt, that's why!


----------



## largenlovely

We all have to find our own bliss individually


----------



## CleverBomb

We're up for Mexican hockey, we're up for Mexican hockey.


----------



## Victoria08

Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic..


----------



## spiritangel

Oh my do I really have to wait two full days??


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Its Newman's birthday today


----------



## spiritangel

insomnia kicked my butt and I did not like it


----------



## CPProp

Is it time for the radish to become part of the renewable energy resource ?.


----------



## Tad

If I don't get to go on this vacation, I think there is a non-trivial chance that my head will simply explode soon.


----------



## Victoria08

Tomorrow is my last day at work


----------



## missyj1978

My back hurts, crack it please.


----------



## CastingPearls

Why do I have a feeling our first dinner is going to be take-out?


----------



## snuggletiger

And you all on the lower dais are in reserve in case someone on the high dais can't cut it.


----------



## Lovelyone

Omgosh let it be Amanda who gets ousted! Grrr.


----------



## MattB

I need a new font, such excitement...


----------



## CleverBomb

I said my score on the final was "enough," not "an F".


----------



## ODFFA

Being driven absolutely berzonkers.... and not in a good way.


----------



## spiritangel

I feel Like I am letting Yogi Bear Down


----------



## snuggletiger

Cheer up BooBoo

I fall out for the big ones rarely does a smallie capture my attention.


----------



## CleverBomb

Staple Guns: Because duct tape doesn't go "Ka-Chunk."


----------



## TwilightStarr

Lovelyone said:


> Omgosh let it be Amanda who gets ousted! Grrr.



I loved Amanda at first, but recently she is just too much and is probably going to end up hurting McCrae's game :/


----------



## spiritangel

There is no ill that sunshine, fresh air, good food and people you love can not cure


----------



## largenlovely

She just decapitated Jesus


----------



## Archetypus

Uncheck your box & unwind your clock, kiddo. If only you were half as cool as all that attitude...


----------



## Lovelyone

WTF? Archway doesn't make the plain sugar cookies anymore?


----------



## spiritangel

I think I have now officially realised I will be single for eternity. I have officially hit the bottom of the barrel


----------



## MattB

I'll be the luggage, you'll be the porter...


----------



## missyj1978

You will be in *Sooooo *much trouble


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Hey you! i got a warrant out for your arrest!


----------



## missyj1978

Looks like I'm gonna need some bail money:blush:


----------



## HeavyDuty24

missyj1978 said:


> Looks like I'm gonna need some bail money:blush:



Good luck finding a bailbondsman open on a Sunday!


----------



## missyj1978

HeavyDuty24 said:


> Good luck finding a bailbondsman open on a Sunday!


You _KNOW_ you would bail me out


----------



## Lovelyone

She's my favorite Jane Eyre of all time.


----------



## WhiteHotRazor

You really fucked up, bad.


----------



## spiritangel

ok body you and I need to come to some sort of arrangement because I can not continue on like this


----------



## HeavyDuty24

missyj1978 said:


> You _KNOW_ you would bail me out



Haha true!  im not that cold! haha XD


----------



## missyj1978

HeavyDuty24 said:


> Haha true!  im not that cold! haha XD



This I already know


----------



## mel

as if I could pretend not to know..


----------



## Lovelyone

you my dear, are a waste of flesh disguised as a pathetic excuse for a person.


----------



## snuggletiger

*ding ding* "Start of the final round, there's no tomorrow only tonight.


----------



## ODFFA

Consider yourself eloquently shat upon.


----------



## snuggletiger

*in a Bob Newhart Stammer* Is that supposed to look like that?


----------



## geekgamer01

Is it time for work already? Damn, I guess that means I need to put on pants.


----------



## spiritangel

You may have a really hot body but that does not mean I can't read your fb profile that shows a happy family and says in a relationship with......


----------



## Lovelyone

OMgosh I am TOTALLY going to pass this level on this stupid ipod game.


----------



## littlefairywren

That's exactly what he means.


----------



## MattB

I'm trying to convince a friend to get a tattoo of Michael McDonald with "Yah Mo B There" surrounding it in fancy script, if successful I will retire from everything.


----------



## CleverBomb

As usual, the event will be canceled in the event of meteorite impact.


----------



## Ashley1985

I hate knock off Post It Notes that won't stay stuck.


----------



## ODFFA

MattB said:


> I'm trying to convince a friend to get a tattoo of Michael McDonald with "Yah Mo B There" surrounding it in fancy script, if successful I will retire from everything.





CleverBomb said:


> As usual, the event will be canceled in the event of meteorite impact.



Best two random-sentencers EVER, back to back, totally doing themselves justice. Now that's what I'm talking about :bow:


----------



## snuggletiger

Are you REALLY sure you REALLY want to do that?


----------



## largenlovely

I'm the biggest baby in the world when I'm sick.


----------



## CPProp

Its fun time travelling in Biggleswade UK wearing 1940s socks and goggles


----------



## spiritangel

Any relationship takes work it does not matter if it is just you and one other person or poly, get off your high horse and actually listen


----------



## missyj1978

Nice big arms and a great smile, yep! :bow:


----------



## ButlerGirl09

I got the wine sweats!


----------



## largenlovely

You gotta come see the baaaaaaaby

He's breathtaking


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Ugh how can you not like The Rock?! seriously?! what in all hell! lol.


----------



## missyj1978

Cause The Rock SUCKS, guess thats why


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Cause The Rock sucks?! da hell? lol. The Rock is awesome. He does what he does and he does it well. The Rock is good at what he does.:bow:


----------



## missyj1978

How can I put this...OVERRATED!!!


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Well to each his own you are entitled to your opinion LOL. I think The Rock is awesome, maybe it's a guy thing. I like his movies and him. He is pretty cool IMO. Do you smell what the rock is cooking?! apparently damn not! lol


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Well damn! didn't know it was like that! :blink:


----------



## CleverBomb

If the service is free, YOU are the product.


----------



## Lovelyone

It was nice that you sent it but due to the color scheme, I don't think my mom made it.


----------



## WVMountainrear

"I'm not doing ANYTHING else until I eat some fucking gummy bears."


----------



## missyj1978

my hands hurt from texting so much.


----------



## CleverBomb

Peeling the skin back from my eyes, I felt surprised that the time on the clock was the time I usually retired and cleared my head and dreamed.


----------



## TwilightStarr

I want to get a new piercing but don't know what I want.
I am thinking snake bites or spider bites :huh: decisions, decisions ?


----------



## spiritangel

If chocolate turned up on my doorstep whoever sent it would be in danger of me falling seriously in love with them


----------



## DKnight00

Gym or home workout in the A.M.


----------



## Oona

Approved!!


----------



## CPProp

Disengaging brain before going to sleep


----------



## Dromond

That was not my potato.


----------



## HottiMegan

Anyone want a slightly used 10 year old?


----------



## Lovelyone

I ate them and didn't go over 1600 calories. *faints*


----------



## spiritangel

it was nice to see everything I have known since a teenager confirmed


----------



## Victoria08

Probably should have called the cops.


----------



## missyj1978

I didn't know I could move like that


----------



## Archetypus

"Just a lone wolf, roaming the enigmatic plains of the netherworld", said the hobo as I nodded politely and handed back the whiskey. The ghost of a smile is better than nothin' at all...


----------



## 1love_emily

I can't decide if I want to eat brunch, or just wait an hour for lunch. 
DILEMA.


----------



## CPProp

Drifting in the Sargasso sea with a broken anchor


----------



## spiritangel

if I had not made such a stupid promise I could cut you out of my life right now


----------



## Lovelyone

Carmen Miranda, she's a hoot.


----------



## CPProp

An elastoplast (band aid) is not making a sound repair of the hole in my shoe, Ive now got a wet foot


----------



## MattB

You know, for a fungus you're not very "fun".


----------



## CPProp

A pair of wheels would make a good hip replacement


----------



## HottiMegan

Avocado and lime so belong together!


----------



## CAMellie

Melodrama coming from you seems about as natural as an oral bowel movement.


----------



## spiritangel

You could close down Moe's or the quick e mart and no body would care


----------



## Mathias

The reason we don't "hang out" anymore is because I've put up with you expecting me to pay for everything every time we go out for far too long.


----------



## CPProp

The judge called for order in court, the jury replied with 4 bitters, 4 largers two G & Ts , a coke, a bitter lemon and 12 packets of plain crisps.


----------



## TwilightStarr

Went to the Kentucky State Fair today with my Mom, my nephew, & my Grandma. Had fun but the heat and walking around for 6 hours exhausted me like crazy!

Tomorrow is my nephew's first day of Kindergarten :sad:

And Wednesday we go back to family court, where the judge will find out that my sister hasn't done anything she was suppose to be doing the past 4 months to get her son back.

Oi Vey!! I am going to need a drink after this week!!


----------



## snuggletiger

Couldn't you be as smart as Juan Trippe`?


----------



## spiritangel

If you were really that invested you would have called to try and sort things out, thank you for showing your true colours makes me feel very lucky to no longer be a part of your life.


----------



## largenlovely

It has been a bad day but chocolate helps.


----------



## snuggletiger

Wish I could a special someone. hello someone wherever you are.


----------



## CPProp

The battery is running low on my sun dial or its night Im not sure which.


----------



## spiritangel

yay free stuff


----------



## CPProp

Whats a 6ft step ladder doing in my bedroom  better move it before I get the wrong impression of myself.


----------



## CleverBomb

I accidentally a verb and an adverb -- is this dangerous?


----------



## Amaranthine

After the red pill, is there any way back in?


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

Go the Fuck to Sleep


----------



## Tad

Dry, rumbling, thunder always feels so ominous to me.


----------



## Victoria08

I want to go back to work.


----------



## missyj1978

Why is shaving such a damn pain?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Ben Affleck is the new Batman


----------



## spiritangel

You don't live in my skin so don't assume because you do something I can handle it


----------



## lovelocs

I'm so glad that was just a dream.


----------



## Victoria08

This song always calms me down..


----------



## HeavyDuty24

ClutchingIA19 said:


> Ben Affleck is the new Batman



Thought they could have did better IMO.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

HeavyDuty24 said:


> Thought they could have did better IMO.



I know, many want Bale back. I guess people still have memories of Daredevil.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

ClutchingIA19 said:


> I know, many want Bale back. I guess people still have memories of Daredevil.




Haha LOL! good one! Daredevil *shutter*. Any i totally agree, Bale did a great job, i heard he was done with the series. Even someone like Hugh Jackman (i know he is Wolverine but still) would have done better. I don't hate Affleck but Batman takes charisma and more LOL.


----------



## ButlerGirl09

Hey, Dirty, baby I got your money!


----------



## HeavyDuty24

ButlerGirl09 said:


> Hey, Dirty, baby I got your money!



Don't you worry, I said hey! LOL


----------



## CPProp

I know there are economical cut backs but does foreplay have to become twoplay ?


----------



## MattB

Hey, check out my Foghat!


----------



## spiritangel

My house smells delicious


----------



## MattB

My idea of heaven is a cool breeze entering the window on a rainy August night.


----------



## MattB

Stupid iPhone fingers.


----------



## Amaranthine

Forget Miley and her child-star crisis...why is 2 Chainz even famous?


----------



## missyj1978

Cupcakes make theworld go round


----------



## spiritangel

missyj1978 said:


> Cupcakes make theworld go round



darn it need to spread some rep around or I would give you cupcake rep!!!



Where did this hungry hungry hippo come from?


----------



## CleverBomb

One, at sufficient velocity.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

So many important uncertainties, no wonder peace of mind can't seem to find me.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Would lick you like a lolipop.


----------



## HottiMegan

I wish abundance of beans weren't so gas-causing.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Miley Cyrus was horrible at the VMAs


----------



## largenlovely

Do they make riding carts with a hemi? Lol


----------



## snuggletiger

wish I could be romantical and sweep a lady off her feet like Prince Charming with all those smooth lines and pretty horses.


----------



## CPProp

One pillar short of the Seven Pillars of Wisdom


----------



## CAMellie

Yay for antibiotics and pain pills!


----------



## spiritangel

snuggletiger said:


> wish I could be romantical and sweep a lady off her feet like Prince Charming with all those smooth lines and pretty horses.



She will be one lucky lady!!!!




Hmm wonder if I will learn anything from this


----------



## TwilightStarr

It's been one of those days!! I have a horrible headache and everything is getting on my nerves!! 
So I shall now eat some cheesecake, listen to some music, hopefully win an auction on ebay, then head to bed for some reading before I am off to dreamland


----------



## Dromond

HOW CAN PEOPLE WATCH THIS SHIT???!!!

obligatory lower case text


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Sometimes you gotta fight, no matter what the circumstances or odds.


----------



## snuggletiger

Sometimes I am too tired to fight, but I gotta stay in the arena, there's no tomorrow only tonight!


----------



## missyj1978

Never said I was perferct, I am human and get mixed feelings like the rest.


----------



## Librarygirl

Is it childish to read into the sharing of a hand-broken biscuit??:smitten:


----------



## CPProp

All my tomorrows become my yesterdays at the stroke of a clock


----------



## MattB

My duckface is far duckier than yours, yo!


----------



## Your Plump Princess

So many changes, so little time.


----------



## CleverBomb

That shouldn't have worked!


----------



## SprocketRocket

Hey hey hey.


----------



## SprocketRocket

Dude, didn't anybody ever tell you that big girls are the shiznit?


----------



## MattB

Bag o' Skittles, we hardly knew ye!


----------



## missyj1978

Oh yes please!


----------



## MattB

Post number 2300 for me at Dimensions was simply the word..."Duckface..."


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Damn that's just the best thing ever!


----------



## SprocketRocket

LOL my cat just got stuck on the countertop!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I wish it was cooler outside.


----------



## CleverBomb

Seriously, my course load for this semester looks like I'm majoring in "Hyde Park Forum".


----------



## SprocketRocket

How is it this early and I wake up and I am 100% wide awake???!!!


----------



## SprocketRocket

ClutchingIA19 said:


> Miley Cyrus was horrible at the VMAs



True dat, but Miley's performance was no diff than a lot of other stage shows we regularly see, thing is Miley mocked a culture - and so did the entire VMAs #codeforaracistthing #everythingabouttheVMAswasblackexceptthewinners #shameonMTV.


----------



## HottiMegan

This girl is going back to sleep in t-minus 20 minutes. Sooner if Max's bus comes on time..


----------



## snuggletiger

Why is gift shopping so difficult? I should just pick one random thing, stick a bow on it and say "here".


----------



## MattB

"Retired" for now, anyone need a headband flashlight?


----------



## CPProp

Whats a fat toad doing hopping down my hall  wonder if I kiss it will turn into a fat princess ?


----------



## missyj1978

I guess you were just what I needed!


----------



## Tad

August is done already? How the heck did we get here already?!?


----------



## SprocketRocket

Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup.


----------



## CAMellie

Omfg Seriously Just Stfu Already!


----------



## CPProp

Just how many cobwebs can one house hold ?


----------



## ODFFA

Also, I said the word cockney a LOT - you're welcome :happy:


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

Working odd jobs to save money and surprise someone with a proposal is a terrible idea.


----------



## ButlerGirl09

My wine glass is empty.


----------



## CleverBomb

Only part of my phone understands Ramp Jam.


----------



## spiritangel

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> Working odd jobs to save money and surprise someone with a proposal is a terrible idea.



I think you just let the cat out of the bag..........




Well that was just awesome


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

spiritangel said:


> I think you just let the cat out of the bag..........
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Well that was just awesome



it's from a movie


----------



## geekgamer01

...And that officer is why kangaroo hunting is now illegal and consequently why I am never allowed back in Australia.


----------



## missyj1978

Wow Kimmy:doh: yup


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Damn i swear it wasn't even like that at all.  man i swear it's not like that!


----------



## MattB

A gang of accountant toughs mugged me for my abacus when I was a kid, I've hated math ever since.


----------



## TwilightStarr

A girl should only chase two things, her drinks and her dreams.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Sit on me dammet right now!


----------



## CleverBomb

Psycho-kitty Mode -- ACTIVATE!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

How come a Porsche Boxster can cost six figures?


----------



## HeavyDuty24

I wonder what you're doing imagine where you are, there's oceans in between us but that's not very far.


----------



## MattB

Oh for the love of Jeff...


----------



## MattB

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you my impression of Jim Carrey...ahem..."Alrighty then"...not bad, eh?


----------



## Oona

Just because someone pissed in your cheerios doesn't mean you can piss in mine!


----------



## snuggletiger

Pretty sad he went from being called Ernest to being called Punch because his sister was named Judy.


----------



## MattB

My library is the sort of library where several of the books, once opened, will release bats.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

What would King Pig do?


----------



## HottiMegan

My kingdom for a nap!!


----------



## spiritangel

Singing is easy if you can remember the words


----------



## Iannathedriveress

It's a Jagggg....


----------



## Victoria08

God, I do really stupid things when I'm bored.


----------



## CPProp

Having your eyes tested is an optical illusion


----------



## CleverBomb

Context or content of duck unknown.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

DAMN! you are just too much! :bow::eat2::smitten:


----------



## snuggletiger

Applesauce sounds good.


----------



## Victoria08

I always knew that camping trip would come back to bite you in the ass.


----------



## missyj1978

You better carry me or else!


----------



## HottiMegan

I would love a teaspoon of the energy that my five year old has!


----------



## HeavyDuty24

HottiMegan said:


> I would love a teaspoon of the energy that my five year old has!



My 6 year old nephew holds the record, more energy then anything lol. This kid can go all day.


----------



## AuntHen

I do not believe you and you should know why.


----------



## snuggletiger

Can't wait for the Coin Show.


----------



## missyj1978

I wanna wake up in your shirt with no make up!


----------



## SprocketRocket

The first Terminators had rubber skin.


----------



## snuggletiger

Wonder what it would be like to be pursued and courted.


----------



## SprocketRocket

I loved you with the fire red, now its turning blue.


----------



## MattB

God does NOT want me to work out!


----------



## SprocketRocket

pfft, like, whatever.


----------



## SprocketRocket

We will wait here while you go and call up the pizza dispatcher and check the invoice as to the price of this pizza, because we will not pay $16 for a pizza and soda, implied as to you scamster lying pizza delivery man, we will however pay $15 which is what they said, implied is no tip for you...


----------



## CPProp

What the heck ? a jam doughnut with out any jam in it


----------



## MattB

No one will be dissing the BeeGees, no Sir, not on my watch.


----------



## spiritangel

well that was an epic fail


----------



## Victoria08

I kind of want to delete everything on my iPod and just start all over again.


----------



## SprocketRocket

I have some freakazoidical dreams sometimes.


----------



## SprocketRocket

I told the President you would say that, and he told me to tell you take it up with him, personally.


----------



## missyj1978

I wonder what your doing right now...


----------



## TwilightStarr

Talking about Big Brother craziness with my cousin is entertaining lol


----------



## SprocketRocket

And the man in the back said everyone attack and it turned into the ballroom blitz.


----------



## SprocketRocket

Sonic, he can really move, Sonic, he got an attitude, Sonic, he's the fastest thing alive.


----------



## missyj1978

People can hate all they want, as long as I know the truth thats all that matters


----------



## SprocketRocket

My kitty is not pleased with your services.


----------



## SprocketRocket

I summon the Leviathan.


----------



## snuggletiger

I'm not sure that's supposed to look like THAT.


----------



## CleverBomb

"This was no ordinary gang," he declared, studying the oddly non-square swatch of fine red fabric, "it's far worse -- this was the Rouge Angles of Satin!"


----------



## snuggletiger

Im not saying his date was unattractive, but she had the appeal of Elliott Gould in Ocean's 13.


----------



## AuntHen

Six year olds love to sing (concert style) when they are taking a poop!


----------



## Victoria08

Trying to lift that was probably not the best idea...


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Give me all of that!


----------



## missyj1978

I love the way you make me feel


----------



## spiritangel

Dumbledore had great taste in sweets


----------



## CleverBomb

My writing skills deteriorate after midnight.


----------



## geekgamer01

Is it naptime yet?


More so important, anyone care to join?  lol


----------



## SprocketRocket

We make money hand over FIST up in here.


----------



## Victoria08

I don't know, maybe it was something I said.


----------



## Oona

For once, I had to turn the music off.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Licking and tasting, Turkey and basting.:eat2: :eat1:


----------



## CAMellie

Cow-eating dolphins.


----------



## SprocketRocket

Don't want to be your monkey wrench.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

You've gone a million miles, How far'd you get??


----------



## missyj1978

If im not worth putting a little effort into then your not worth my heart!


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Maybe all these time, was it me?


----------



## TwilightStarr

It blows my mind that they are already playing Christmas shopping commercials, but shhh!!... I've already bought my nephew 3 christmas gifts


----------



## CAMellie

I want to thank all that's great and good in this world for ice packs and norcos.


----------



## CleverBomb

I wish I dared let my cat go outside; there's a mouse out there that he REALLY wants to deal with.


----------



## CastingPearls

Is anyone keeping a shortlist of this guy's alt usernames?


----------



## Fuzzy

Everyone believes that they are an above average driver.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I wish I didn't fall off the ladder


----------



## spiritangel

Oh my hes so young but so cute


----------



## snuggletiger

Kid couldn't get a break. The one time I wish my order got lost, and the guy turns into Johnny on the Spot.


----------



## CleverBomb

It's ok, I killed the tofu.


----------



## The Dark Lady

Or a reasonable facsimile thereof.


----------



## Archetypus

Try your best not to replace a butt wherein must lay your face.


----------



## CPProp

Philately will get you nowhere


----------



## missyj1978

I miss you tonight, hurry up


----------



## MattB

It really wasn't anything to sneeze at...but you sneezed at it anyways!


----------



## CleverBomb

I can't come up with anything random.


----------



## CPProp

A male witches only has to be a load of warlocks


----------



## missyj1978

Live and learn, if you dont learn then you never lived!


----------



## snuggletiger

Someday I'll figure out how to not always feel upstaged.


----------



## CPProp

Heath and safety gone loopy having to wear a floatation devise in a water bed


----------



## snuggletiger

Not that I know much about what turns women on , but I don't think the Andrei Gromyko look is in.


----------



## CAMellie

So sick of mushy food I WANT BEEF!


----------



## The Dark Lady

I GOT A GOLDEN TICKET!!! Seriously, I did!


----------



## littlefairywren

The second hand smoke is a nightmare!


----------



## Victoria08

Why is there _always_ a giant slice of tomato on any sandwich I order? Ugh.


----------



## CleverBomb

I'm pretty sure they've put catnip into it, and I think that's quite unethical.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Darn Zucchini messing up my thought process. :doh:


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I wish I wasn't ill


----------



## CPProp

Using a Van de Graaff generator, can be hair raising.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

It will all be the same, trust me.


----------



## CPProp

I see freshly shot kippers on the menu


----------



## Miskatonic

Every project at the end of chapter one in my JAVA textbook is the same damn thing except printing different text on the screen.


----------



## CPProp

I like that old Chinese cooking song wok on bye


----------



## CAMellie

NO you may NOT lick my gums!!!


----------



## WVMountainrear

We get it: you would very much like to engage in various sexual activities with each other.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

lovelylady78 said:


> We get it: you would very much like to engage in various sexual activities with each other.



dont' be jealous, come join the party.


----------



## spiritangel

Ugh my body just can not bend like that there is stuff in the way


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Haters gonna hate, just like taters gonna tate.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

They had a Ferrari on The Price Is Right today .


----------



## CPProp

Oops just drowned my rubber duck


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

You're a dick and you're not as "intelligent" as you think you are. Some people get "it" and some don't; some people have "it" and some don't. I think the point of life is to understand and get "it" by learning and growing as a person. You sir, are a dick and as much as you think "it" is in your grasps, you're far from it. You're nice, but that's about all, you're still a dick bag. 

Lovesies, 

Hozay


----------



## Oona

I don't understand!


----------



## WVMountainrear

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> You're a dick and you're not as "intelligent" as you think you are. Some people get "it" and some don't; some people have "it" and some don't. I think the point of life is to understand and get "it" by learning and growing as a person. You sir, are a dick and as much as you think "it" is in your grasps, you're far from it. You're nice, but that's about all, you're still a dick bag.
> 
> Lovesies,
> 
> Hozay



That's more than one sentence.


----------



## Vanilla Gorilla

Seriously, fuck off and die.


----------



## Sweetie

Well? *drumming fingers*


----------



## missyj1978

Vanilla Gorilla said:


> Seriously, fuck off and die.



Yes!! Took the words right out of my mouth 

anyways..

I cant help that you cant have what I have, stop with the dirty look and move on!


----------



## HeavyDuty24

The entree for this evening is a nice big pile of fuck off with a side of fuck off with a hint of kiss my ass. Enjoy your meal!


----------



## cinnamitch

Mouths run like rivers, too bad they can't be dammed up.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

lovelylady78 said:


> That's more than one sentence.



You're right. Damn the man and his rules!

Also, my random sentence goes with honorable mention to the scary guy on the bus today. He just didn't get it.


----------



## cinnamitch

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> You're right. Damn the man and his rules!



Take all the periods out and we will just call it a sentence.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

cinnamitch said:


> Take all the periods out and we will just call it a sentence.



That almost sounds TOO rebellious!


----------



## cinnamitch

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> That almost sounds TOO rebellious!



_Hands Jose a leather jacket and a comb and a bubblegum cigarette to hang from his lips_ you know you want to be a rebel..


----------



## x0emnem0x

Thank god it's my weekend!


----------



## CleverBomb

Friday falls on a Thursday this week, again.


----------



## ButlerGirl09

Two pounds of jelly beans are never enough...


----------



## CPProp

Having two left feet is not good for dancing, but ideal for going round in circles


----------



## HeavyDuty24

CPProp said:


> Having two left feet is not good for dancing, but ideal for going round in circles



Will it go round in circles, will it fly high like a bird up in the sky lol. Sorry had to do it.


----------



## CastingPearls

Cross your fingers!


----------



## CPProp

The Jacuzzi has run out of bubbles and is now just a bath.


----------



## MattB

I can't fathom this future.


----------



## Sweetie

He calls himself the Liberator.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Haha you have no idea whatsoever.  Also sometimes you just feel the need to display to the world you do have some kind of talent.


----------



## CleverBomb

The past isn't dead -- it isn't even past.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

Lady with the short skirt, thank you for dancing on me an rubbing you ass on me. It was the first time I felt attractive in a long time.


----------



## spiritangel

That was so good I want to eat it all over again


----------



## Victoria08

Please tell me I didn't screw everything up.


----------



## spiritangel

A part of me thinks this will end in tears and another part hopes like hell it is real


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I like the way you move


----------



## Sweetie

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> Lady with the short skirt, thank you for dancing on me an rubbing you ass on me. It was the first time I felt attractive in a long time.



You might not have felt it, but you are attractive Mr. Hozey J. Garseeya. Glad you had fun.


----------



## Sweetie

I feel like my perspective is improving.


----------



## CPProp

Humpty Dumpty has been drinking again  hes smashed


----------



## Mathias

That was the shittiest hotel I've ever been to in my entire life.


----------



## spiritangel

This is either going to be the adventure of a lifetime or crash and burn, why oh why do I have to be the all or nothing type of person


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I want a Mallard Duck RC boat so bad.


----------



## spiritangel

Sometimes I need to learn to just say nothing


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Its so frustrating that all of the avalible jobs are all in Missouri


----------



## Miskatonic

Staying for an entire shift when most of the crew is sent home halfway through the day is weird normally, but it gets even more eerie when your crew is normally 100+ people.


----------



## Victoria08

Finally realizing that I can't have it both ways.


----------



## CPProp

Wearing 4,400 metre boots does not have the same ring as wearing Seven league boots.


----------



## MattB

Actually you're right, I don't know for sure if Tuesday Weld could weld...


----------



## reuben6380

Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes


----------



## CPProp

Roast chicken mini subs are no good for diving in, theres no periscope


----------



## MattB

I'm flummoxed, flummoxed I tells ya!


----------



## HottiMegan

60" is a superb measurement


----------



## CleverBomb

How can something be refurbished without someone else having furbished it in the first place -- where are all the furbishers?


----------



## Dmitra

We are building a fighting force of extraordinary magnitude.


----------



## CleverBomb

What color is the sky in your world?


----------



## spiritangel

OMG the rollercoaster continues


----------



## Oona

I'm not sure how, but I'm awake.


----------



## missyj1978

It is all going to be okay, everything will work out in the end.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Who got the Donk?


----------



## CPProp

Why is water always wetter than I expect it to be


----------



## HeavyDuty24

It's definitly good talking to someone or having someone to talk to sometimes.  Sometimes you need that.


----------



## littlefairywren

Use caution. The last one almost died.


----------



## CAMellie

I swear to god I will kick you square in the taco! TRY ME!


----------



## spiritangel

This is officially my 9000th post. I usually miss the milestones so Yay me


----------



## Oona

Hi. My name is Corie and I'm an asshole.


----------



## balletguy

My name is Bill and I am a Jerk. %ff


----------



## CPProp

I want to be a scientist when I grow up


----------



## The Dark Lady

The wonderful thing about the sky is that it's always changing colors.


----------



## MattB

I'm concerned about my fiber intake...


----------



## Victoria08

Dude, you should have called me back.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Were you pretending to be someone else, was it someone else, or was that really you?


----------



## spiritangel

i think I need to harass my sis about the order again


----------



## Iannathedriveress

My father doesn't like me shooting the farm animals in GTA V


----------



## HottiMegan

^^^ ha ha ha


It feels like midnight and it's not even 10pm.. i'm going to be in bed early tonight!


----------



## CleverBomb

Milestones, unlike millstones, are rarely hung around someone's neck.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Its Plinko time.


----------



## HottiMegan

I hate my guts! (not in the kid sort of way but my guts actually suck)


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Colin Hay you are so amazing, i don't care what anyone says you can't make a bad song in my eyes. Love them all.


----------



## spiritangel

HeavyDuty24 said:


> Colin Hay you are so amazing, i don't care what anyone says you can't make a bad song in my eyes. Love them all.



There is not enough rep on the planet for this post!!!!!



Why is mail taking so freaking long lately all I want is to be able to work on my costume


----------



## HeavyDuty24

spiritangel said:


> There is not enough rep on the planet for this post!!!!!



I know!! Colin Hay is the best artist ever. All of his songs are great! he is the best singer-songwriter out there. All of his songs touches your heart. The man can do no wrong and not make a bad song in my eyes, plus he is a humorous, funny down-to-earth guy with a good heart and a good sense of humor. It's a damn shame and pisses me off that he is so under-rated. I love Colin, excellent singer, song-writer and phenomenal guitar player. I can listen to him all day and literally have! lol. Huge Colin fan here you have no idea how huge. Not only did he do excellent in Men At Work he has an excellent solo career. The man is an amazing genius and also inspires me as a singer-songwriter/guitar player. I love him and his music so much


----------



## CleverBomb

Seriously, Rainier is friggin’ dangerous. There are all those slurbs built right in the lahar paths.


----------



## WVMountainrear

I have no idea what I'm doing anymore.


----------



## Archetypus

Birds flying high, you know how I feel...
Sun in the sky & you know how I feel...


----------



## CleverBomb

Practicing my homework is fun.


----------



## spiritangel

Arrgh I hate hitting the proverbial wall


----------



## MattB

My teeth and I feel very English right now.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I hope the Cardinals will beat the Cubs again tonight.


----------



## BigCutieLaurel

Why did none of the female actress' in 90s shows and movies where bras?


----------



## BigCutieLaurel

I just sneezed so hard I split my lip


----------



## Dromond

My digestion is quite loud today.


----------



## CPProp

A single bee lives in a B flat


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I really want to go to Sweden


----------



## MattB

I'd rather chill out at home than go out and Wang Chung tonight.


----------



## spiritangel

I am starting to hate selfie Sundays


----------



## Victoria08

How the hell did I miss that?


----------



## MattB

The correct order is as follows- Who, Kinks, Beatles, Stones...


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Nighty night Terrence


----------



## CPProp

Wonder what Richard Trevithick is getting all steamed up about.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

ClutchingIA19 said:


> I really want to go to Sweden



I want to go to Michigan lol.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

HeavyDuty24 said:


> I want to go to Michigan lol.



The only reason I want to go Michigan is the big auto show in Detroit every year.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

ClutchingIA19 said:


> The only reason I want to go Michigan is the big auto show in Detroit every year.




Haha lol i want to go to Michigan to meet a special someone.


----------



## spiritangel

Ok time to kick myself in the butt and get stuff done


----------



## CleverBomb

Everybody have fun tonight -- keeping in mind that, while wanging Chung is highly encouraged, it is not actually mandatory.


----------



## Victoria08

I haven't had to deal with this level of stupidity before...it's quite disconcerting.


----------



## AuntHen

Love conquers all things; let us too surrender to love. <3

-Virgil


----------



## missyj1978

HeavyDuty24 said:


> Haha lol i want to go to Michigan to meet a special someone.



Wonder who the lucky lady is?!?


----------



## 1love_emily

I can't stop thinking about this boy but I don't think he thinks about me that way. But we text all day every day and we often fall asleep together via text and I really like him, but he doesn't think that I do no matter how much I tell him.


----------



## Yakatori

Uh...nevermind.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

missyj1978 said:


> Wonder who the lucky lady is?!?




Haha maybe it's you?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Hammond you idiot


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Who can it beeeee now *bur bur bur buuuur dun nont*


----------



## spiritangel

It never rains but it pours


----------



## Iannathedriveress

We're driving Cadillacs in our dreams


----------



## Oona

Uh-oh, I think the truth hurt her feelers...


----------



## CPProp

Bring up Leverets could be hare raising.


----------



## MattB

Duhhhhh...he is Ole, you are Sven...he is Ole you are Sven...


----------



## Lovelyone

His voice is like silk and I love love love it.


----------



## HottiMegan

That uh oh feeling when your nail polish is still wet and you have to go to the bathroom!


----------



## spiritangel

Soo much yummy goodness


----------



## littlefairywren

HottiMegan said:


> That uh oh feeling when your nail polish is still wet and you have to go to the bathroom!



Or when you realise that you've petted the cat too soon and all of a sudden you have very hairy finger nails :doh:


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Have never wanted someone more my sweet M, and i know you know this. :wubu:


----------



## AuntHen

you always seem bitter about something :blink:


----------



## HeavyDuty24

You are always on my mind always.


----------



## TwilightStarr

Thank you DIMS new chat for making my night soo much better and probably keeping me up later then I need to be


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Dims chat is finally avalible on my phone


----------



## spiritangel

Omg I just found the chat thing (feel so silly)


----------



## CleverBomb

We were hiding in plain sight.


----------



## AuntHen

Fitzwilliam!? I need you!


----------



## HottiMegan

I'm fufufufufreezing!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Lets Cards Lets Go!


----------



## reuben6380

someone came say'n I'm a saint to complain about a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt...


----------



## HottiMegan

Those swarms or hornets in China sound right out of a horror movie..


----------



## 1love_emily

I got my first gold can 
I'm a Dims pro now


----------



## geekgamer01

Damn Kentucky is boring!


----------



## TwilightStarr

geekgamer01 said:


> Damn Kentucky is boring!



You're just in the wrong part of Ky


----------



## CleverBomb

When you hear the bong, look at the bottom of the screen.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Haven't heard from you in awhile, hope your ok...


----------



## 1love_emily

Pumpkin coffee and bagels fill my tummy with happiness and love on this chilly, gloomy Friday


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I feel so tired


----------



## CPProp

Might venture to Bakewell this weekend for a tart.


----------



## spookytwigg

I helped save the emperors favourite panda.


----------



## spiritangel

things that make you go hmmm


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I like it when Top Gear makes fun of Caravanists.


----------



## Emma

My ears hurt.


----------



## Sweetie

I didn't expect the trash to be so heavy. Ouch! My arm is hurting.


----------



## spookytwigg

Oh dear lord, the Saturday night boredom.


----------



## CPProp

Popping bubble wrap with bare feet is such fun


----------



## Victoria08

Tried to log in as Victoria09 for the second time today :doh:


----------



## CleverBomb

Therapy is expensive; popping bubble-wrap is cheap -- but it's your call.


----------



## missyj1978

You hate on me cause you want to be me


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Getting paranoid about stuff is one of the easiest things to do sometimes LOL.


----------



## CPProp

Tried a big Tart in Bakewell but it tasted a little salty , not at all what I was expecting.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Fall is finally here


----------



## CPProp

A soak in a hot bath should relieve the stiffness


----------



## Dmitra

Kilts are always appropriate.


----------



## CleverBomb

Kilt? Nah, just winged 'im.


----------



## spookytwigg

If I go down we all go down!


----------



## CPProp

Theres nothing worse than having barnacles on your bottom.


----------



## Sweetie

You know you're not happy when you'd rather go out into a tornado warning rather than stay home with your husband. 




(I have no husband so not speaking of myself)


----------



## spookytwigg

Why don't my Vikings automatically have longboats?


----------



## TwilightStarr

I am super nervous about going to my dad's lawyer's office in the morning, to do a deposition for the lawsuit we have against the hospital that caused his stroke :/


----------



## Lovelyone

Hmmm, you cannot pay back what you owe but I see that you've made sure to get tea, cigs and candy for yourself, again.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Pumpkin beer is in the house


----------



## HeavyDuty24

I am a question to the world, not an answer to be heard, or a moment that's held in your arms.


----------



## CleverBomb

Oh, I'll never stop being awesome.


----------



## spookytwigg

I am stupidly extra tired this morning and I am going to eat customers brains today to compensate.


----------



## Victoria08

Actually, Alanis Morissette...it really _isn't_ ironic.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Ah, i am centered...


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Oh Miley just go away.


----------



## CPProp

Drilling holes is such a boring job


----------



## HeavyDuty24

ClutchingIA19 said:


> Oh Miley just go away.




This! LMAO! just down-right trashy now!


----------



## MattB

I can't do my worrrrrrrrrrk!!!!


----------



## Oona

MattB said:


> I can't do my worrrrrrrrrrk!!!!



Trade ya! 



NPR sites government actuaries...


----------



## MattB

Oona said:


> Trade ya!
> 
> 
> 
> NPR sites government actuaries...



Spreadsheet, after spreadsheet, after spreadsheet...


----------



## Oona

MattB said:


> Spreadsheet, after spreadsheet, after spreadsheet...



Reports and spreadsheets galore! ^.-


----------



## Victoria08

One step forward, two steps back.


----------



## littlefairywren

This is SO not a good feeling at all.


----------



## RabbitScorpion

Voting machines need three new buttons: 

Control+Alt+Delete


----------



## CAMellie

It's science, bitches!


----------



## spookytwigg

I may do the robot but I still have feelings.


----------



## CPProp

A lighting conductor can orchestrate the minute waltz in 20 seconds


----------



## spiritangel

Wonder what colour my hands will end up today....


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Come on Dodgers, we are ready to take you on.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

YES! i will GLADLY take it like that! :happy::bow:


----------



## spiritangel

its crazy hot for spring


----------



## missyj1978

You make me feel safe and protected :happy:


----------



## CleverBomb

This is only a test; if it had been an actual emergency you would have heard us panicking.


----------



## geekgamer01

Extra mayo, hold the lettuce.


----------



## AuntHen

sometimes the wolves in sheep's clothing, appear to be the very pinnacle of their environment


----------



## spookytwigg

Atomic age by 1894!


----------



## CPProp

Disagreeing with my Sat Nav again.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I want some Angry Birds duct tape


----------



## HeavyDuty24

ClutchingIA19 said:


> I want some Angry Birds duct tape




It's at wal-mart! haha lol.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

HeavyDuty24 said:


> It's at wal-mart! haha lol.



My dad got them as a early birthday present.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

ClutchingIA19 said:


> My dad got them as a early birthday present.



O that is good! i want some too.


----------



## CleverBomb

Yay team?


----------



## Lovelyone

That isn't what I said it was, it totally isn't what I said it was.


----------



## HottiMegan

Coming home still somewhat sweaty makes me very cold!


----------



## missyj1978

You better do what I say or else....


----------



## Victoria08

You seriously think you can get me to do a plank exercise? Oh, silly physiotherapist....I have a lot of weight to hold up, in case you hadn't noticed 

(More than one sentence, I know.)


----------



## Sweetie

I'm seriously considering pulling a switcheroo and stealing my son's bedroom.


----------



## Lovelyone

So what's wrong with celebrating weight loss by eating a Little Debbie zebra cake?


----------



## Sweetie

Lovelyone said:


> So what's wrong with celebrating weight loss by eating a Little Debbie zebra cake?



Love them! :eat2: Enjoy!


----------



## Victoria08

Ok...was it something I said?


----------



## SprocketRocket

The children of the corn, they work for us now!


----------



## WVMountainrear

7:00pm is too early to go to bed, right?


----------



## MattB

Back where I come from, we call Canadian Thanksgiving "Thanksgiving".


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I feel disappointed with the football game tonight.


----------



## CleverBomb

This is the season for orange food.


----------



## spookytwigg

I really don't think they'd use broken eggs in an executive omelette.


----------



## littlefairywren

It's only the first month of spring and it's already furnace hot. I feel like moving to Canada.


----------



## spiritangel

littlefairywren said:


> It's only the first month of spring and it's already furnace hot. I feel like moving to Canada.



I couldn't agree more, give me a cold climate I could happily skip the high heat.


----------



## SprocketRocket

CleverBomb said:


> This is the season for orange food.



Add to this the pumpkin lattes and other assorted pumpkin-flavored items!


----------



## Dmitra

I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay $50 and pick up the garbage."


----------



## spookytwigg

This day has hour shaped minutes.


----------



## CPProp

If the rain was any wetter Id be soaked.


----------



## HottiMegan

The feeling of rejection is heart breaking.


----------



## Oona

She is my squishy!


----------



## Lovelyone

You went to a pumpkin patch and didn't even ask any of the kids in the house if they'd like to go? That's just SO wrong.


----------



## spookytwigg

My brain has been emptied and my head has been filled with Helium.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

This windy weather and choppy waters make fishing so frustrating


----------



## HottiMegan

I love Pixar!


----------



## spiritangel

I just want this week to be over, or to like skip a particular date


----------



## CleverBomb

What is a pubnub, and why do I need to unblock it?


----------



## spiritangel

I hate drama especially when it escelates to threats of violence


----------



## SprocketRocket

Today should be a great day.


----------



## SprocketRocket

Customer is a low talker.


----------



## SprocketRocket

Turn the lights on, fool!


----------



## spookytwigg

Better call Saul.


----------



## CPProp

Its not cricket, when clay pigeons shoot back


----------



## Lovelyone

Sorry but going on a "death walk" to all the downtown bars (in the most unsafe part of the city) just isn't my idea of fun.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Biking makes the world go around


----------



## SprocketRocket

So, like, what, you just gonna keep on breakin' bad?


----------



## SprocketRocket

She sure does love the bottle caps!


----------



## CleverBomb

Maybe I'm just not a "dog person" after all.


----------



## MattB

Missed it by a whisker...


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Carly Rae Jepsen plays GTA Online.


----------



## SprocketRocket

We are the ones who knock!


----------



## SprocketRocket

Goodnight everybody!


----------



## CleverBomb

Hellllo Nurse!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Your killing me Cardinals


----------



## SprocketRocket

I don't think you and I are in the same business.


----------



## SprocketRocket

Hoping for the best when they come in!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Angry Birds Go!


----------



## SprocketRocket

How may I help you?


----------



## Lovelyone

I'd never eat that...ever.


----------



## SprocketRocket

Ole, my friend, ole.


----------



## SprocketRocket

About as predictable as the stopwatch, I tell you.


----------



## SprocketRocket

When we hear the voices sing, the book of love will open up and let us in.


----------



## CPProp

I had a miner bird but it died of silicosis


----------



## Donna

I don't need no stinkin' heating pad; I have a Chihuahua!


----------



## MattB

They should make a TV show about young people who are, like, vampires or witches or something...


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Oreos are as addictive as crack


----------



## ScreamingChicken

“Yeah, I’ve seen Smokey and the Bandit like a thousand times, love that movie.”


----------



## SprocketRocket

The german word for _pen_ is Kugelschreiber.


----------



## SprocketRocket

Er benutzt immer Kugelschreiber mit blauer Tinte um Briefe zu unterschreiben.


----------



## spiritangel

Well that was not as bad as I thought it would be


----------



## Tad

At least it is Wednesday.


----------



## Oona

It's only Wednesday?!


----------



## CleverBomb

You think he's a LARPer, really? I pegged him as a furry.


----------



## SprocketRocket

The Pyramid Collection: Myth, Magick, Fantasy and Romance catalog just came.


----------



## SprocketRocket

A gallon of milk costs more than a gallon of gas.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Why don't you just read the book?


----------



## MattB

Ball in a cup.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

This is so gut wretching


----------



## SprocketRocket

At my job, you have to be a little bit of a track star.


----------



## SprocketRocket

I have $6 in my wallet and my thoughts are racing.


----------



## SprocketRocket

The fire burns, I'm not the one with the ratch, man.


----------



## Lovelyone

Wow, that is super-annoying.


----------



## littlefairywren

Please use your own words.


----------



## MattB

It sits there, waiting, expecting to be consumed.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

This is my 3000th post


----------



## SprocketRocket

Time to either go lay back down, or take a walk somewhere!


----------



## spiritangel

I did not get a birthday thread this year :O (pretty sad that I only just noticed this to)


----------



## SprocketRocket

You may have escaped Jubilah and Jubilo, but I am Jubilum and you will not escape me!


----------



## CleverBomb

Innumeracy is eroding our nation's ability to self-govern.


----------



## MattB

I don't want to be without a cup of coffee until at least 3pm.


----------



## MattB

Let's celebrate our commitment to using less paper by tripling our paper usage!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Can you reach?


----------



## CPProp

Knitting fog is so relaxing


----------



## MattB

I named the skunk "Felix".


----------



## SprocketRocket

Kristal, Maybach, tigers on a gold leash, we don't care.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I Am A Driving God!!!


----------



## SprocketRocket

That's how I roll.


----------



## CPProp

Blowing bubbles, so childish but fun


----------



## Iannathedriveress

The Cardinals better dodge L.A. tonight.


----------



## Archetypus

Crucify him! On the Tree of Woe...


----------



## spookytwigg

Aaaaaaaagh ow neck pain!


----------



## spiritangel

I have a serious case of the CBA's


----------



## Lovelyone

Oh no, here we go again with all the Halloween type movies on tv. YUCK.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

The water is too choppy


----------



## MattB

Oh yes he did!!


----------



## LeoGibson

I'm a regular freakin' Nostradamus.


----------



## Forgotten_Futures

Screw common sense; let's do something stupid.


----------



## CPProp

I really should not use the hamster as a keyhole draught excluder.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Im so frustrated today, even though its the weekend.


----------



## Oona

I shall hold his sweater hostage!


----------



## CPProp

Will I ever get anything completely right


----------



## HottiMegan

Alone time is so nice.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Oh Rick, why do you have to give the pigs to zombies?


----------



## Lovelyone

I hope that you get stuck, you little bastard!


----------



## 1love_emily

Hasa Diga Eebowai!

I'm a bit in love with Book of Mormon, the musical!


----------



## spookytwigg

Oh so sleepy.


----------



## spiritangel

why does the cake mix taste better than the end product??


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Why is Starbucks so expensive?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Rebel Wilson as Hannibal Lector... Interesting.


----------



## spookytwigg

Why can I not think of any kind of food for tonight?!


----------



## HottiMegan

YUCK! the changing weather has left me with such dry face that i'm getting face dandruff!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

It's all about your personality


----------



## CPProp

A little lubrication will stop the squeak


----------



## CastingPearls

Okay maybe that was too much coffee....


----------



## MattB

If Lovecraft lived, he'd still be long dead.


----------



## Lovelyone

Look kid, squeezing a girls arm fat and elbow dimples are a sure sign that you like the chub.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I want some pumpkin ice cream


----------



## HottiMegan

:doh:You know your boobs are big when one smacks you in the face while getting comfy I
n bed.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Cannonball, cannonballing


----------



## MattB

Contemplating a trip to Reykjavik.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Thats an hard act to follow.


----------



## CPProp

Wonder what would happen if you gave the tooth fairy nitrous oxide


----------



## MattB

_When you speak I can hear the italics in your voice!_


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I'm disappointed with the cardinals tonight against the red soxs.


----------



## Victoria08

I wasted too much time thinking about it.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I don't know what to do


----------



## HottiMegan

Slippers are a good thing.


----------



## CPProp

To much torque could break the thread.


----------



## littlefairywren

It may take 5-6 months, but the look on her face will be worth the wait.


----------



## Lovelyone

I don't care whom you bring back as Jessica Fletcher, that person will never take the place in my heart of Angela Lansbury.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Revenge Of The Jedi


----------



## Oona

What do you mean it's only Thorsday?! It's supposed to be Frys Day!


----------



## Oona

I don't like starting the morning off by being a raging bitch, but for you I can make an exception.


----------



## MattB

I can't start my day without my fishbowl sized cup of coffee...


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I don't want to clean my worm farm, but I got to do it.


----------



## TwilightStarr

I think it is completely awesome when my 5 year old nephew comes up to me and ask to see my number, that's his way of asking to see the "502" I have tattooed on the inside of my bottom lip LMAO!!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Why do we always lose?


----------



## CleverBomb

Oona said:


> What do you mean it's only Thorsday?! It's supposed to be Frys Day!


Fry's Day? Thanks for the reminder -- I need to pick up a couple of gigs of ram, a new dishwasher, and some Almond Roca.


----------



## x0emnem0x

I can't waaait to make love you to you again.


----------



## spookytwigg

There are few things worse than the illuminations.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Why do I feel ill?


----------



## CPProp

Before the Iron Age everything was creased.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Three Thousand One Hundred


----------



## CleverBomb

Wooly mammoths used to hang out in the parking lot of the Los Angeles County Museum of Art.


----------



## ButlerGirl09

This wine smells like tequila... :blink:


----------



## reuben6380

Lousy smarch weather...


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Give the orange bird candy.


----------



## littlefairywren

Tired of being everyone's friend and nobodies concern.


----------



## CPProp

Before the Bronze Age you could only come First or Second


----------



## Mathias

"F" is for fire that burns down the whole town, "U's" for uranium...bombs! "N" is for no survivors WHEN YOU-


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Captain Blur, look at him go!


----------



## HottiMegan

I hate that all the GTA playing by my family is ruining it for me.. i'm just kinda sick of seeing it so i lost interest in playing


----------



## spookytwigg

Oh Monday, you had to make yourself worse by being 11 hours today.


----------



## HottiMegan

Mondays, oh Mondays, i hate you, you stink! I wish i could wash you away in the sink...


----------



## Iannathedriveress

The Cardinals better win tonight.


----------



## Oona

Information confirmed.


----------



## spiritangel

So over being sick


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Its so nice to have complete darkness


----------



## HottiMegan

I can't wait for the kids to both be in bed!


----------



## spookytwigg

I really want a high-vis jacket and I don't know why.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Its been a while since I played The Sims 3


----------



## moore2me

spookytwigg said:


> I really want a high-vis jacket and I don't know why.



I know this a random sentence thread, but I can't help myself. A high-vis jacket has saved many a person's life if they had to spend time outside in darkness. For example, emergency workers directing traffic in wrecks need to wear high-vis clothing. Also fire responders, police responders, and first aid providers needs high-vis if they work in the dark.

This need to be seen includes people riding bikes, or walking, or getting out into traffic after dark. High-vis may save your life too.

And finally, hunters in the USA are required to wear high-vis clothing so other hunters can see you and not shoot in your direction. First, they find out if the target animal you are hunting can see the jacket color. Most deer, etc, are color blind.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Maybe having a high visibility jacket is for driving through France?


----------



## HottiMegan

Bring me some chocolate, STAT!


----------



## CleverBomb

Just when I finally got it together, I forgot where I put it.


----------



## spookytwigg

Maybe I WILL get a high vid jacket.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

A lab stole my basketball


----------



## Oona

The truth will set you free... or get you murdered.


----------



## spookytwigg

You can't make an omelette without killing a few people.


----------



## CPProp

Id put the kettle on  but I dont think it would fit.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Im going bonkers!


----------



## spookytwigg

Well now I've finished Breaking Bad I'm at a complete loss.


----------



## CPProp

Dracula uses self raising flour to help him get up at dusk


----------



## Dmitra

Some days becoming a vigilante sounds reasonable.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Who knew Mini's are a hard car to restore.


----------



## spookytwigg

Just how much fake blood is _enough_ fake blood?


----------



## CPProp

Modern green witches fly on rechargeable vacuum cleaners


----------



## spookytwigg

It turns out that about half of the amount of fake blood I got was the right amount.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Better late than never


----------



## MattB

My God, does anyone still drink Tang??


----------



## CleverBomb

This sentence is mediocre and I should feel mediocre.


----------



## Victoria08

I wish Guy Fawkes Day was celebrated more over here.


----------



## spookytwigg

Steve Holt!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I need to go back to Britain.


----------



## CPProp

The load on my mind divided by the area of my brain, must equals stress


----------



## Oona

Shit... I think I overdid it on the caffeine...


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Cut fresh grass sound pretty good


----------



## CleverBomb

Based on what I saw at the Getty Villa, ancient Greeks were all about the peen.

(Don't get me wrong, it's an amazing collection of great antiquities (and I recommend it to anyone who likes ancient history... but, um, yeah.)


----------



## spookytwigg

Sleeps are what I need.


----------



## spiritangel

It makes me sad so many women are so brainwashed by so called health professionals


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I hope I didn't lose my sims game


----------



## spookytwigg

It's hurricane times!


----------



## CPProp

How ludicrous having to rubber stamp a rubber stamp.


----------



## CleverBomb

A moment of silence, please, to note the passing of George Thomas Thornton -- to be followed immediately by a massive explosion and a hailstorm of chunks of decomposing whale carcass.




(Link to the film of the infamous 1970 attempt to explosively dispose of a beached whale, here.)


----------



## Iannathedriveress

CleverBomb said:


> A moment of silence, please, to note the passing of George Thomas Thornton -- to be followed immediately by a massive explosion and a hailstorm of chunks of decomposing whale carcass.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> (Link to the film of the infamous 1970 attempt to explosively dispose of a beached whale, here.)



My dad remembers seeing this when he was a child.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

"Better to live a day as a lion than 100 years as a sheep"


Benito Mussolini


----------



## Oona

I have Pink tools!


----------



## CleverBomb

We are not who we are -- we are how we became who we are, and how we will become what we will be.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Sitting bored, I need to go outside.


----------



## MattB

The chocolate bar ratio in this bag is tremendously skewed, it should be renamed "Butterfinger and Friends"...


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Just one more day


----------



## spookytwigg

So I got a free month bus pass today.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

It's out of my MF imagination.


----------



## spookytwigg

Why did the tiny child in front of me have a phone that's so much better than mine?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Remember the fifth


----------



## CPProp

I hate uploading stuff into portals, I never know where its gone.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

LPG seems interesting.


----------



## CleverBomb

Well, that was interesting.


----------



## Oona

Right in the feels


----------



## spookytwigg

Why did I have to get a graze and a papercut on the same day?


----------



## Victoria08

NTS: learn how to walk in heels.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Just another dreary day outside


----------



## spookytwigg

It's like we finish each others... sandwiches.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Canadians, what is going with the mayor of Toronto?


----------



## spookytwigg

It's getting to be boiled ham weather!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Stimulus package is finally here in GTA V.


----------



## CleverBomb

I've never been so happy to see a cat jump up onto furniture he's not supposed to jump up onto.


----------



## x0emnem0x

God please help me, I can't lose him.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Why are there only Coots at the lake


----------



## Weirdo890

Budweiser is carbonated rat-piss.


----------



## MattB

I'm watching Cops and I have a question, have you ever borrowed a pair of pants from a friend?


----------



## CleverBomb

Hooray, we're doomed!


----------



## spookytwigg

Talking to children is like a class A drug.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I wish my life is like that on Top Gear UK


----------



## Dmitra

And every time she sneezed he'd have a little fit.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

'Cause life is short, but sweet for certain.


----------



## spookytwigg

My head has been filled with warm flannel.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

How come it took me 45 minutes to catch just one fish?


----------



## CleverBomb

If you have to source your chili pepper from the Indian Ministry of Defense maybe you should consider your tastebuds dead and gone.


----------



## spookytwigg

New potential rats tonight!


----------



## spiritangel

The sewing has to end at some point....


----------



## Lovelyone

tired, tired tired tired and more tired.


----------



## Piink

Thank goodness I am my father's daughter ...


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Where's Your Head At?


----------



## spookytwigg

Dear lord it's freezing today.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Sweet Molasses


----------



## Lovelyone

Nobody does that anymore.


----------



## MattB

It's fun to over-pronounce "sriracha".


----------



## spiritangel

I wonder if I did something to upset or offend you...


----------



## Weirdo890

No, I will not explain how the barbecue got onto the the roof of the church.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

James May you blithering idiot!


----------



## spookytwigg

Why do days off always seem so far away?


----------



## Dmitra

Saying pu pu platter always cracks my cookie.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Let it snow


----------



## spookytwigg

Is it a bacon sandwich or is it another one of your lies?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Three Thousand Three Hundred


----------



## largenlovely

Wow, you are an absolute train wreck...and that's coming from me and I know I don't have my shit together either but wow :-0


----------



## spookytwigg

Give me all of the foods because I need them.


----------



## MattB

Could I ever ring-a-rang-a-dong for a holiday right now.


----------



## spookytwigg

I have a splitting headache!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

We need more spider silk


----------



## spookytwigg

Carrying an empty pet carrier on the bus is a good way to make sure nobody sits near you.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Christmas music has arrived.


----------



## Lovelyone

Watching Spongebob Squarepants and Fairly Oddparents is not my idea of a good time, but I do it anyway just for them.


----------



## spiritangel

where on earth did I pick this virus up from not supposed to be sick this close to event weekend grrrr


----------



## spookytwigg

Apparently I can only form coherent sentences for 50% of the time today.


----------



## CleverBomb

R.> Senpmeho been midi faderhg m khot's haedwny pecan tue fuuciuub't


("This sentence has been made random by my tablet's handwriting recognition functionality")


----------



## spookytwigg

Sherlock Holmes movie is totally Boobs.

*using what would I say*


----------



## CPProp

Spray flying insects with hairspray it helps them glide further


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Barn finds are amazing


----------



## MattB

The smell of a wood burning fire, is eternal.


----------



## CleverBomb

My diminutive friend Peter came over to tell me all about his Middle-Eastern flat-bread recipes and how they turned out -- and I do love the pita patter of Little Pete.


----------



## spookytwigg

I want to play a gigantic game of twister.


----------



## Archetypus

Poliam Frater Franciscvs Colvmna Peramavit


----------



## HottiMegan

IT's funny to hear pets snore..


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Okay I stay silent


----------



## Emma

4 pints of milk is 5 pints too much.


----------



## spookytwigg

If there really is a hell then it probably involves shopping for clothes.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Its time for Clash of Corns


----------



## spookytwigg

Two and a half hours is not enough sleep.


----------



## spiritangel

I am the invisible girl


----------



## Oona

You've got red on ya


----------



## ScreamingChicken

Knowing is half the battle.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Traffic is so crazy right now.


----------



## spookytwigg

All aboard the bat-train!


----------



## Dromond

Air temp is 21F/-6C. Wind chill is 7F/-14C. Winter is here.


----------



## spiritangel

I have just been on the most amazing, hellish emotional rollercoaster and I feel like I have been totally suckerpunched so much for my so called friends


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Of course it is difficult.


----------



## CleverBomb

It's night shift at the Puppy Works.


----------



## x0emnem0x

Oh, he definitely wants a massage!


----------



## Oona

I'm an Oonasicle...


----------



## x0emnem0x

Oona said:


> I'm an Oonasicle...



Lemme li-li-li-li-li-li-lick that lollipop.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Can't wait to go up to Wisconsin


----------



## Oona

x0emnem0x said:


> Lemme li-li-li-li-li-li-lick that lollipop.



Bahahaha! Literally made me laugh out loud.


----------



## spiritangel

how is it I am more tired today than yesterday


----------



## Dmitra

Be careful with that fax, Eugene.


----------



## Mr Gosh

For the last time, Maureen! The teeth marks were in the *cucumber!*


----------



## x0emnem0x

Oona said:


> Bahahaha! Literally made me laugh out loud.



Hehehehe :kiss2:


----------



## spookytwigg

Send me the brain fuels!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Happy Birthday Natasha Bedingfield


----------



## Weirdo890

Who are you people, and where is my horse?


----------



## CleverBomb

No, you can't have a pony.


----------



## CleverBomb

Like being pecked to death by really dumb chickens.


----------



## Dmitra

The universe is enough.


----------



## spookytwigg

What would Tyler Durden do?


----------



## CleverBomb

A "NSFW" tag would have been helpful there, pal.


----------



## Victoria08

Well, according to my optometrist....I'm allergic to Canada?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I don't like the idea of stores opening on Thanksgiving.


----------



## Tad

Apparently what I've been craving was spicy guacamole.


----------



## CAMellie

I'm seriously going to punch her in the face.


----------



## HottiMegan

what is it about thanksgiving and gas?!


----------



## Oona

My whole body hurts.


----------



## CleverBomb

Oh sh!t, it's a mall!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I want to punch a tv.


----------



## HottiMegan

I see lots of vodka in my evening! (This totally goes along with that onesie i saw for a baby, "dad drinks cuz i cry")


----------



## spookytwigg

I'm afraid we don't stock that DVD, it doesn't exist.


----------



## ODFFA

Dear, sweet Lounge, I have neglected thee!


----------



## Dromond

Violence is never the answer. Except when it is.


----------



## Lovelyone

Bob's sweet stripes candy canes...yes, please!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

It is a dog.


----------



## HottiMegan

I wonder if they'd notice when i DONT decorate for xmas. bah humbug!


----------



## spookytwigg

You have asked me a question about my favourite things, so of course I have forgotten everything that has ever existed.


----------



## Dmitra

Pikas like to give people flowers?


----------



## one2one

I passed the background check! Whew.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Just sitting around doing nothing.


----------



## CleverBomb

They're justified, and they're ancient, and they drive an ice-cream van.


----------



## HottiMegan

I'm not sure how we're going to decorate a 12' tree.. we mighta bitten off more than we could chew this year!


----------



## spookytwigg

And we shall call ourselves the horny hamster orchestra!


----------



## Dromond

Scrooge never said the line, "Bah humbug!"


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Now I'm offically in the Christmas mood.


----------



## Oona

Dating sucks.


----------



## AuntHen

Dromond said:


> Scrooge never said the line, "Bah humbug!"



not sure if this was a factual statement you were making or not but...


In the first chapter, it actually said "Bah!" said Scrooge "Humbug!" (when his nephew told him merry Christmas) and later said "bah" and "humbug" again during that same conversation... the "bah" part was just like saying "pfffft" on those occasions but he did say both parts in the book. To him, Christmas was a humbug (sham).


----------



## CleverBomb

_What Does the Radioactive Fox Say?_ -- Imagine Ylvis the Dragon


----------



## CAMellie

Willem Defoe in drag = scorched retinas


----------



## ohiofa

You slimey scumbag, get on your face and give me 25!


----------



## Lovelyone

IS it me...or does Hershey's candy taste WAYYY different (too waxy and sweet) than it did when we were kids?


----------



## one2one

By a show of hands, how many other people here will have to wait until the landlord gets around to clearing a path through the snow before they can get to the building with the washers and dryers to do laundry?

Yeah, I figured it was just me.


----------



## spookytwigg

I was a fool to not only activate my second (dessert) stomach, but then fill that one past bursting point too.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Hammers are the tool of a pikey.


----------



## HottiMegan

I hope hubs bonus is bigger than last year, which barely filled our tank up with gas.


----------



## CPProp

Why does it cost 20 pence to spend a penny?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Happy independence day to the Finnish people.


----------



## CPProp

Hug drawn and quartered  thats no way to treat an apple.


----------



## Oona

Everyone one deserves a day to just be dumb. Or numb. Or both.


----------



## Fuzzy

I want a waffle.


----------



## ODFFA

"....because here we are, all human together."


----------



## CPProp

Mind over matter, if you dont have a mind it dont matter


----------



## Fuzzy

Football Player: That dude is huge!

QB: That's you, Jones.


----------



## spookytwigg

Do bats eat cats?


----------



## penguin

Why is there no wine here?


----------



## CPProp

I bought my catatonic now its just sitting there with its paws and eyes crossed.


----------



## CleverBomb

I have allies in the War on Christmas -- while I was riding through the festively-decorated neighborhood, they shouted "Happy Halloween!" to all and sundry.


----------



## littlefairywren

I may be soft but my patience wears out just like everybody else's, so please do not take me for granted.


----------



## spookytwigg

Never forget to swap your pocket stuff over when you change your trousers.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

When can I feel better?


----------



## CleverBomb

Ok, so I'm not doomed.


----------



## CPProp

Have a diet koala it contains less sugar than the real thing.


----------



## spookytwigg

Well I'm a little Bi-Furious!


----------



## MattB

Finally emerging from the catatonia, what'd I miss?


----------



## J34

Why is sliced bread, the gold standard we hold things up to? Who decided that sliced bread was so great? I think individually wrapped sliced cheese is just a bit higher... I think


----------



## spookytwigg

The revolution is never coming.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Why did I put the tie on the outside of thr cowler?:doh:


----------



## HottiMegan

Slipping on ice sucks!


----------



## Lovelyone

Thank goodness for Hawaiian Punch on-the-go packs.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

We need to convert combine harvesters in snowplows.


----------



## CleverBomb

It's been done, and it's awesome.


----------



## CleverBomb

This is a test.


----------



## CleverBomb

Had this been an actual emergency, you would have heard us panicking.


----------



## spookytwigg

Never ride the emu!


----------



## Dmitra

Chinese legend has it that Chang'e, the wife of a gallant archer, flew to the moon and resided in a lunar palace after drinking a medicine of longevity.


----------



## Lovelyone

That's phantasmagorical!


----------



## spookytwigg

The Netflix has me now!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

The parking was poorly planned.


----------



## CPProp

I just gave someone my last Rollo


----------



## spookytwigg

At some point I will wrap these presents!


----------



## CleverBomb

Well, at least the cat is.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I won something from a radio station for the first time.


----------



## spookytwigg

There is a hole punch moon tonight.


----------



## spiritangel

Seriously I am working 8hrs a day I should be getting paid for this stuff ugh


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I can't wait for the epic battle or El Porkador vs. Big Brother Bird.


----------



## CPProp

Electrocution can be a shocking experience


----------



## Lovelyone

Yes, we have no bananas.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Time to dance with the chickens.


----------



## CAMellie

We're gonna decorate our new place for Christmas!!! :happy:


----------



## CleverBomb

All right, lets draw straws -- in MS Paint.


----------



## Victoria08

That was perhaps not the best decision I've ever made.


----------



## CleverBomb

Finally, bacon that's good for me!


----------



## x0emnem0x

Cogito ergo sum.


----------



## HottiMegan

Who has two thumbs and is going to take a mid afternoon nap? This girl!!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Its not bad outside.


----------



## CleverBomb

I've got an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one.


----------



## MattB

Nine days of music starts tomorrow.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Five days til christmas arrives.


----------



## CPProp

This contract is a bit like Christmas  to many clauses


----------



## CleverBomb

Cinder Cone and the Fantastic Lava Beds is not a rock group -- it's a geologic formation.


----------



## HottiMegan

It's 1234 and i'm headed to bed finally!


----------



## spiritangel

Omg I am almost done there is light at the end of the neverending decoration making tunnel


----------



## CPProp

The wind howling through the doors and windows is like living in a B movie


----------



## HottiMegan

I'm way too tired for only 10:19 at night.


----------



## CleverBomb

Kinda chilly tonight, but not con carne.


----------



## CPProp

I want to know what are noculars, lots of people seem to binoculars and I dont know what for


----------



## CleverBomb

*vBulletin Message*


> This forum requires that you wait 60 seconds between searches. Please try again in 1 seconds.


----------



## MattB

Once the coffee levels in my cup reach this line, I will be available for the day.


----------



## ODFFA

According to Buddha I'm not doing too terribly :happy:


----------



## Iannathedriveress

It's a Festivis Miracle!


----------



## largenlovely

you're demanding two cheesecakes? *throws papers in the air* then you make them...*curtly walks away*:goodbye:

in a related note: I'm really tired


----------



## CleverBomb

There was more daylight today than yesterday, and there will be yet more tomorrow.


----------



## CleverBomb

Kids today don't remember the Great Magnetic Field of '68 -- cars stuck bumper to bumper, stuck to guardrails, for weeks -- one of my uncles was turned to steel, and was never quite right afterwards.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Santa can come anytime.


----------



## spookytwigg

And soon the season will end and sleep will begin!


----------



## missyj1978

I am going to River Dance on this computer


----------



## CleverBomb

My computer only Hampsterdances.


----------



## CastingPearls

Don't begin chat with me and not expect me to ignore you if your primary form of communication is emoticons.


----------



## ConnieLynn

I need a reason to shave... full body massage, tropical vacation, sex?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Why can't I get a call from the places that I applied or E-mailed?


----------



## Victoria08

I love it when people give me iTunes gift cards for Christmas!


----------



## spookytwigg

Ben & Jerrys and T.V. = Rock 'n' roll new years eve.


----------



## missyj1978

I can not believe im alone on New Years, again.


----------



## CPProp

Well thats nearly another year over, I wonder how many more Ive got left


----------



## spookytwigg

I will give you the musics!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Why do I have to be sick on New Years Eve?


----------



## CleverBomb

It's been a long December, and there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last.


----------



## KHayes666

"F*ckin flowers are expensive." - Danny Lynch


----------



## spiritangel

Damn you ebay


----------



## Victoria08

I think I hate New Year's Eve.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Being sick sucks.


----------



## penguin

Insomnia isn't welcome here, but it keeps coming back.


----------



## spookytwigg

can't decide between Monty Python or Studio Ghibli marathon.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I'm only slightly getting better.


----------



## Lovelyone

I slept 10 hours last night and could sleep 10 more right now.


----------



## CPProp

Catacomb, an instrument for tidying up a cats fur


----------



## MattB

Actually, this would be the ideal place to air said grievance.


----------



## spookytwigg

Stop that, it's very silly!


----------



## lille

Stupid snow emergency


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I'm cold and miserable.


----------



## spiritangel

Sometimes my reactions completely astound even myself.


----------



## RabbitScorpion

Yea! I have 300 posts!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I need to go Canada and go fishing there someday.


----------



## Lovelyone

You'd be surprised at what I can do!


----------



## CPProp

My feet are not 12 inches


----------



## CastingPearls

Wonton is IN THE LEAD!!!


----------



## ConnieLynn

Freakin' winter -- my toes are cold.


----------



## Emma

We want to reach out to you.


----------



## spookytwigg

long boardgames are looooooooooooooooong.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

You don't even have to read my mind.


----------



## TwilightStarr

Off to my bed to watch some Being Human, determined to catch up before Season 4 starts.


----------



## CleverBomb

I've, got The Stockholm Syndrome... (CLMD vs Kish feat. Fröder)


----------



## HeavyDuty24

6 atleast, 8 at most haha LOL.


----------



## spookytwigg

well done Amazon, I can already safely assume my items have been shipped when they're in my hands.


----------



## AuntHen

Je ne suis pas un enfant!


----------



## J34

What's the deal with airline food?...


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Getting myself prepared for the snow storm


----------



## CPProp

Should I patent my electric carrot invention, which helps you see in the dark?


----------



## lushluv

I hope she makes you happy because you didn't even say goodbye.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I don't want to feel so negative.


----------



## lovelocs

The inability to stop should be a superpower.


----------



## Dmitra

More reason to never _ever_ eat calamari.


----------



## CleverBomb

And then, after I was done and couldn't handle any more, it was just calamari all up in my face -- like a bad anime or something! 
(Classic dim sum restaurant: good food, imperfectly timed.)


----------



## MattB

My static electricity charge is at full tonight, excellent...


----------



## Iannathedriveress

What a classhole.


----------



## Fuzzy

What is the point of having a woodstove if the county keeps declaring a burn ban?


----------



## HeavyDuty24

I need to visit the Congo ASAP haha lol.


----------



## Victoria08

Second-degree burn. Awesome.


----------



## ODFFA

Oh, I see you hate most things with proud vulgarity.......you must be so amazing!


----------



## missyj1978

Come on April!!!


----------



## spiritangel

That was a pleasant surprise


----------



## Oona

Well that's disappointing...


----------



## Iannathedriveress

When can I be free from my house?


----------



## Lovelyone

My heart breaks for her.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Furnace went on the fritz..not working...freezing..but..hot, mature head of maintenance guy (and golf pro to boot) who calls me sweetie all the time is on the way over with portable heaters; I may swoon.


----------



## ConnieLynn

I juggle idiots for a living.


----------



## CleverBomb

"Glitch-Hop" is a an actual music genre.


----------



## CastingPearls

ConnieLynn said:


> I juggle idiots for a living.


Props to you. I'd rather juggle chain-saws.


----------



## CPProp

It needs fixing where is my hammer


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I want to join the FailArmy


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold.


----------



## Dromond

The gods must be crazy.


----------



## J34

no milk with cookies?... what!!


----------



## CleverBomb

Duct tape will require extreme measures.


----------



## spookytwigg

And then the whole world exploded.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I'm so flippin' hot WTH???.(this makes no sense)


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Sorry on cell double post..


----------



## ODFFA

You, sir, have a goofy face.


----------



## Tad

We should put electric fencing around the bird feeder.


----------



## CleverBomb

You lived there in the '80s when everybody was doing coke, right?


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

Nothing worse than being in line behind someone arguing over 50 cents; if he was an element on the Periodic table, he'd be Parsimonium.


----------



## littlefairywren

I'd swap you out of my family if it were at all possible, you vile, conniving, selfish piece of garbage.


----------



## spookytwigg

Oh cyberpunk2020, thou art a cruel and unforgiving mistress.


----------



## Lovelyone

Don't eat that carnation, it's not tasty.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I need to get me a motorbome someday.


----------



## CPProp

Will my washing machine ever stop eating socks


----------



## HeavyDuty24

UGH it's always some shit!


----------



## CleverBomb

Tonight I'm going to party like it's 14 years ago.


----------



## spookytwigg

Think I might just curl up and sleep at work today.


----------



## ODFFA

Sims be needy.


----------



## CPProp

Polypropylene a support for one legged parrots.


----------



## penguin

I think I'll buy myself a slow cooker.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Its like a furnace in here.


----------



## Oona

One can have a high IQ and still be a moron.


----------



## MattB

It's a full on Monday spreadsheet attack, and my only method of recourse is to slow my response time...thusly...


----------



## x0emnem0x

What is even happening right now, I can't figure it out.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Are pigs flying?? He's cleaning the bathroom!!


----------



## MattB

The best part of being bald is that no one can tell you're a ginger, thus one can move among them in secrecy collecting information...


----------



## lille

There is now a 4:1 cave to gecko ratio, if I hear squabbling tonight I'm gonna lose it.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Why all of the jobs so far away?


----------



## spookytwigg

All hail the almighty Tesla.


----------



## CleverBomb

_That's_ not good.


----------



## Oona

Today was all about the snooze button.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I need to renew one of my favorite magazines


----------



## Lovelyone

They're not my hands, they're not my hands!


----------



## CPProp

Its just not cricket, losing at Rugby


----------



## Fuzzy

They're scientific instruments, not water pistols!


----------



## x0emnem0x

Why in the hell am I still awake?


----------



## CleverBomb

For SCIENCE!!!!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Time for one more contestant


----------



## CPProp

Ive just discovered another activity thats as exciting as watching paint dry


----------



## penguin

Now there's no more trifle


----------



## Fuzzy

Like a song of love that clings to me


----------



## Dmitra

"Any more Potter refs and we're gonna get hexed by Rowling."


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Good thing that I am in a good mood


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

Now that is the kind of pudding that only $240 can buy.


----------



## lovelocs

If you insist on making this a battle, I insist on winning.


----------



## CPProp

If you cant trust me to make a 100% cock-up then what are you paying me for ?


----------



## MattB

If I ever start another metal band, it will be called Necropost.


----------



## Lovelyone

It's nothing but cliques and popularity so if you don't play the game you don't get noticed.


----------



## HottiMegan

I think i ate too much cereal.. darn munchies.


----------



## CleverBomb

The good news is that the tape will stay stuck no matter what; the bad news is that I found that out the hard way.


----------



## Victoria08

I'm really not excited about my birthday this year.


----------



## missyj1978

Only know you love her when you let her go...


----------



## spookytwigg

I probably shouldn't have exploded those guys.


----------



## CPProp

I wrapped the chicken in aerofoil and it flew off


----------



## Fuzzy

I love you, Damn you!


----------



## TwilightStarr

I know I've passed my love of books onto my nephew, when he is only 5 and I already have to get him a bigger bookcase.
And he can't even read yet!!
LMAO!!


----------



## ScreamingChicken

Somebody call my mama.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

The generic Froot Loops are better than the brand name, but the generic Frosted Flakes taste like cardboard coated in sweet wallpaper paste; this does not make sense.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Anyone want to pay 1,250,000 dollars for a car once owned by Simon Cowell?


----------



## CleverBomb

It works if the battery doesn't run out.


----------



## x0emnem0x

Come Tuesday, I am so screwed.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Taaaaaaaake control, but don't be afraid of meeee.


----------



## CPProp

Its a bit nautical, but there is nothing worse than having barnacles on your bottom, it slows you down


----------



## spookytwigg

The power of the sun!


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Come Ooooon few months lol.


----------



## CleverBomb

It's the NFL Smokea Bowl XLVII! 

(Legalize weed, go to the Super Bowl(tm) -- contact your legislature NOW!)


----------



## Fuzzy

You stole fizzy lifting drinks! You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Seahawks vs Broncos


----------



## ButlerGirl09

Bow down, bitches


----------



## HottiMegan

I want to run away.


----------



## CPProp

I wandered lonely as a cloud, the SatNav's was not working again


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Haha, what?


----------



## ConnieLynn

Need a change.


----------



## CleverBomb

Not all who wander lack GPS.


----------



## spookytwigg

Well 15 seconds just isn't enough time.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

We are five years away from entering the 21st century.


----------



## snuggletiger

I think I understand why women love shoes so much.


----------



## AuntHen

You need a midol, the lot of you!


----------



## penguin

"By all means, attribute my legitimate feelings of sadness to _menses_." - Piper Chapman, Orange Is The New Black.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Im not the rapper


----------



## HottiMegan

Pop, damn you!


----------



## spookytwigg

Dear tray, why did you burn me so?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I was frozen today!


----------



## spookytwigg

I have an awesome hockey body.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Why the hell are crab legs so expensive?


----------



## CleverBomb

I just added a Geology course -- Science! Rocks!


----------



## Lovelyone

I will marry the first guy who buys me a case of Strawberry cream filled chocolate covered hearts from Russell Stover.


----------



## J34

I wonder if the people working at the cigar lounge sign a "cancer waver" for the amount of smoke they breathe in while working there.


----------



## spookytwigg

I condemn you to rot in eternal AOL!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Why is choosing a car so hard?


----------



## spookytwigg

I feel like I'm being punched by tiny ice people.


----------



## ODFFA

......please catch him please catch him please catch him please catch him please ca......


----------



## CPProp

A straight line the shortest distance between two pints


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I smell an ass whooping coming.


----------



## HottiMegan

chocolate, the solution to many problems!


----------



## CleverBomb

Why, yes -- it really IS a music video about a gender-reassignment surgery.


----------



## spookytwigg

I need to replace my oven gloves with some kind of whole body armor.


----------



## Victoria08

Red velvet or coconut...I can't decide.


----------



## MattB

Looks like it's tauntaun for dinner.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Opera singer can't stop farting after surgery, loses job.


----------



## spookytwigg

Chills up the spine.


----------



## lushluv

Yeah, Okay..... if you say so.


----------



## CleverBomb

Puppy on crack! Puppy on crack!


----------



## spookytwigg

Do you have that film with that lady in it?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

It's funny the south is falling apart after the snow storm.


----------



## missyj1978

Man up, do what u got to do..


----------



## CleverBomb

I'm getting paid to learn WAY more about bugs than I ever wanted to know.


----------



## MattB

Cheese doesn't thrill me anymore.


----------



## spookytwigg

If fishes were wishes I would eat all the wishes.


----------



## Extinctor100

Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate.


----------



## ScreamingChicken

Why did you tell her you were getting a refund???


----------



## Extinctor100

My God! I didn't realize it stopped.


----------



## missyj1978

I wish I could be there not here.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I wish the acids in my stomach stop being unstable


----------



## HeavyDuty24

You will be able to feel the love coming from my very soul.


----------



## CPProp

Dont think Im using this site to its full potential, Im missing something, it could be a brain.


----------



## MattB

If you get that excited over an "informative roundtable discussion", wait until the after party.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

In Russia we just punch one another


----------



## TwilightStarr

When you see a years worth of someone's Doctors Records you find out some very hilarious and also infuriating information!!


----------



## HeavyDuty24

I just want to hold you, that's what i want right now...


----------



## CleverBomb

"People ask me to predict the future, when all I want to do is prevent it." -- Ray Bradbury


----------



## spookytwigg

I should never shop hungry.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Im not that fucking crazy, just have a different way of doing things sometimes and often times think differently. :doh:


----------



## HeavyDuty24

spookytwigg said:


> I should never shop hungry.




Lol that's always tough to do lol.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

How about no!


----------



## KittyKitten

FWB, haha, these guys don't even want that...they just want one night stands.....to hell with dating


----------



## Fuzzy

No! Clothed in chocolate. Totally different process.


----------



## spookytwigg

So it's New geeky trailer night tonight then right?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

The last great run by a Bronco was in 1994.


----------



## missyj1978

Sometimes I wish I had a magic wand


----------



## spiritangel

missyj1978 said:


> Sometimes I wish I had a magic wand



I second this!!!!


So over the bleakness


----------



## Lovelyone

Why yes I will have another Star crunch, thank you.


----------



## spookytwigg

Can I get as many as I like?


----------



## littlefairywren

The ball has started rolling.


----------



## CPProp

A needle is one of the finer points of life.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

What is this, James Bot?


----------



## Fuzzy

............................


----------



## spookytwigg

A wild restraining order appears.


----------



## x0emnem0x

I get attached so easily, the downfall of a caring soul.


----------



## HottiMegan

I'm done........


----------



## CleverBomb

Say what you want about Hitler, but he DID kill Hitler.


----------



## MattB

Why do young peopleeee useee so manyieee EEEE's?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

It's appreciate a mailman day.


----------



## CleverBomb

Because dead bodies, that's why not.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Time to go popping on the Ford Pop.


----------



## spookytwigg

I can sleep while I serve people.


----------



## CPProp

If you break wind it's difficult to glue it back together again


----------



## spookytwigg

The man in the cowboy hat thinks it's all shit.


----------



## TwilightStarr




----------



## Iannathedriveress

We don't have Albert!


----------



## MattB

My kingdom for an answer.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

We're going to look at this like cinema suicide.


----------



## MattB

No I'm sorry, no one likes Mountain Dew that much.


----------



## littlefairywren

You're not nice just because you say you are.


----------



## Donna

Never mind...nothing to see here.


----------



## CleverBomb

I saw what you did there -- no, wait, actually I didn't.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I feel so overwhelmed with many shows on my DVR


----------



## x0emnem0x

That... was wonderful.


----------



## Dmitra

Please be aware if you don't instruct couriers you will cover customs/duty on shipments the studio can't accept delivery.


----------



## MattB

Our pyjama-clad warriors will strike fear in all who oppose them.


----------



## x0emnem0x

That was the best lunch I've had in awhile.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Really bored, just want time to pass by


----------



## CleverBomb

That was actually some pretty coherent gibberish.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

Everyone wants to forget the Adam West Batman years ever happened, and that's why Odin put me here to remind you that we survived it - so can you.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Just have another beer


----------



## lovelocs

You ain't lived, 'til you've been cockblocked by a gay man.


----------



## x0emnem0x

Snow, snow, go away, come again NEVER, except maybe on Christmas every year and then melt the day after.


----------



## penguin

I don't recall inviting sadness in.


----------



## HottiMegan

I bet I wont get a valentines kiss today..


----------



## Iannathedriveress

What's an easy?


----------



## HottiMegan

I did get a kiss goodnight from my little sweetheart, Alex. No one else.


----------



## Esther

Why does every social gathering revolve around disgusting meat buffets?


----------



## Fuzzy

once again, I'm on a quest for the best cheeseburger and all I can find are meh.


----------



## AuntHen

Fuzzy said:


> once again, I'm on a quest for the best cheeseburger and all I can find are meh.




oh my word Fuzzy!!! we must be on the same cheeseburger cycle hahaha... I just bought thick slab bacon to make my own again


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I'm ready for my massage


----------



## Fuzzy

fat9276 said:


> oh my word Fuzzy!!! we must be on the same cheeseburger cycle hahaha... I just bought thick slab bacon to make my own again



Mmmmmm... bacon....


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Humping on mannequins seems to be okay.


----------



## Dmitra

The lamb of Spring brought plenty of showers, flowers, and mud.


----------



## spookytwigg

Looks like I'm going to have to break a few eggs.


----------



## Dromond

Failure was the only option.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

This is my 4,000th post on Dimensions.


----------



## CleverBomb

My dog mostly values his squeaky toy as a positional good.


----------



## CPProp

You know youve kicked a habit when it dont kick back


----------



## spookytwigg

Soon the mayor will introduce me to his pretty daughter!


----------



## HottiMegan

Is it bad that, as a lifelong vegetarian, i absolutely love bacon jokes?


----------



## x0emnem0x

I am cold, someone come hug me.


----------



## CleverBomb

The dog has a catnip habit.


----------



## Mathias

That place is a hellhole and I'm not moving there just because the rest of you are.


----------



## ODFFA

"The result of this deception is very strange to tell, for when I fool the people I fear, I fool myself as well."


----------



## Victoria08

Just keep swimming.


----------



## Dmitra

You have failed this city.


----------



## MattB

A hamburger is a sandwich.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I want my health back


----------



## spookytwigg

What do those words even mean!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Screw you milk and cereal.


----------



## x0emnem0x

Why, why why why did you do this to me?


----------



## MattB

It's "Spread The Rep" night!


----------



## Fuzzy

Dmitra said:


> You have failed this city.



Sorry.. but when I read this line my mind sang..

"You failed this city... on Rock and Roll..."


----------



## spookytwigg

Drop the bass!


----------



## lucca23v2

Why am I up at 3:39 in the am??????


----------



## Dmitra

Fuzzy said:


> Sorry.. but when I read this line my mind sang..
> 
> "You failed this city... on Rock and Roll..."



Haha! Be not sorry for the silly. 

Couldn't rep, boooo.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Driving is a chore.


----------



## CleverBomb

...and step AWAY from the tacklebox -- nobody has to get hurt here.


----------



## x0emnem0x

No, Marty, it isn't appropriate, you freak!


----------



## PunkyGurly74

So, where did I put those extra 4 hours a day I need to do everything at again?


----------



## spookytwigg

I am in dire need of Chinese!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Why wouldn't my medicane fully work?


----------



## CleverBomb

Despite what it sounded like, the jewelry channel was not actually selling "mutilated shorts". 


(Rutilated quartz has inclusions of rutile, which is crystalline titanium dioxide.)


----------



## J34

Pardon me, boy
Is that the Chattanooga choo choo?


----------



## CPProp

Dont call me dear  Im old stock and reasonably priced


----------



## penguin

There should be a dessert delivery service.


----------



## snuggletiger

Wonder what the pay is for a Tokyo Shoe Shine Boy?


----------



## CPProp

Why tool box talks  what can you say to a torque spanner


----------



## CastingPearls

Absolute power corrupts absolutely.


----------



## ScreamingChicken

Heaven don't want us and hell's afraid we'll take over.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

I swear i have the worse fuckin luck sometimes.


----------



## MattB

I've had my toque on since 10am, and now I'm afraid to take it off.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

They are so many places I want to fish yet I don't have the money or time.


----------



## x0emnem0x

Honestly I don't even know why I try to converse with you.


----------



## MattB

I do not want to be known as "good at shovelling".


----------



## CleverBomb

How the heck did I post the same thing 7 times?


----------



## CleverBomb

So, despite originally showing up 7 times, it only actually posted twice.


----------



## spookytwigg

The truth is out there!


----------



## x0emnem0x

Sometimes you just can't win, then what?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Another day, another stomach pain


----------



## spookytwigg

6 is not a pretty number, 8 or 3 are definitely better.


----------



## Mathias

Hello Mathias it appears that you have not posted on our forums in several weeks, why not take a few moments to ask a question, help provide a solution or just engage in a conversation with another member in any one of our forums?


----------



## Fuzzy

My feet hurt. No. they Huuuuuuuuuuuuuurt.


----------



## CleverBomb

Our puppy has a fan club.


----------



## lovelocs

*I'MTRYINGTOCUTAFUCKINGSPOTTONY!*


----------



## spookytwigg

That's really not how you're supposed to use crutches.


----------



## MattB

Do muffins fart?


----------



## Tad

It's a bubblewrap crisis!


----------



## x0emnem0x

You're not easy to love.


----------



## spookytwigg

Days off so close I can almost taste it!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

So many football games going so little time to watch.


----------



## Fuzzy

That is a shit ton of cobble.


----------



## one2one

Now none of them are knitting!


----------



## MattB

If I don't look outside, I can't see the snow.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Burgers make the world go round


----------



## CleverBomb

I shouldn't be this tired.


----------



## x0emnem0x

Work to live and live to work, that will be my life...


----------



## Iannathedriveress

You shouldn't wear crocs while alligator hunting.


----------



## Fuzzy

sliced pepperoni is not safe with me around.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I didn't know that Aaron Paul was a contestant on The Price Is Right.


----------



## x0emnem0x

ClutchingIA19 said:


> I didn't know that Aaron Paul was a contestant on The Price Is Right.



Omgosh haha I love the clip he is in from that. Speaking of I was hanging out with a friend the other day and he was randomly looking up old commercials Aaron Paul was in. He's been in a few old ones that I remember but funny to see nonetheless.


----------



## CleverBomb

It's like Pokemon with dead insects.


----------



## TwilightStarr

I am finally having surgery tomorrow morning on my broken finger. I am nervous and really mad that I will have to put a hospital gown on!


----------



## snuggletiger

Why do I get the feeling with the management shift, there goes any opportunity for a pay raise.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Tuesday can't come soon enough


----------



## MattB

There are drums in this typewriter...


----------



## Dmitra

"I've made a huge mistake."


----------



## CleverBomb

A dog that rolls over while playing is surrendering; a cat doing that _isn't_ surrendering, _isn't playing_, and now has twice as many claws to slash with.


----------



## Fuzzy

I want to run around and meow for no reason. But its not 3am.


----------



## Highsteppa

Is finding the clitoris something like finding Jesus?


----------



## CPProp

Get your worn out tail refurbished at a retail park.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Luck wasn't on his side


----------



## Victoria08

Just when I thought his music couldn't get any more annoying


----------



## missyj1978

Live and learn or else your not living...


----------



## CleverBomb

They turned into someone else, then vanished, alas.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Damn it Chumlee


----------



## AuntHen

Ring, ring, why don't you give me a call?


----------



## MattB

Time, who told you to go by so fast?


----------



## HeavyDuty24

We're strange allies, with warring hearts...


----------



## Missamanda

Can't be king of the world if you're slave to the grind


----------



## Crafty Barnardo

It's a shame how much women I see and be so amazed at each day during work. Lol smh


----------



## CleverBomb

I was riding on turtle for slow people the whole time, but when I got into the building I discovered rabbit!


----------



## largenlovely

You have GOT to be kidding me


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Good that winter is gone


----------



## MattB

I made tacos for dinner which, as we all know, is pronounced "tack-os".


----------



## Crafty Barnardo

Outta sight and out of mind.


----------



## CleverBomb

Our sweet but none-too-bright dog chewed up the metal wristband of my timepiece -- I assume he did this because he knows that you are what you eat, and he wants to be a watchdog.


----------



## Fuzzy

What is the 98% of 2% milk?


----------



## missyj1978

I see a shit storm coming to shore.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

It would be great if we didn't get four seasons in one week.


----------



## CleverBomb

If a black cat crosses your path, it's bad luck... to not get him kibbles, because until you do, he'll just _keep_ crossing your path and meowing like he hasn't eaten in a week so eventually you'll trip over him and hurt yourself.


----------



## dharmabean

It's hard to say no to yoo-hoo, the name beckons. 


I think I laughed a little too hard at this.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Dammet man i can never get it right.


----------



## KHayes666

We should have gotten out of here sooner but since we're peons, we're not going anywhere.


----------



## TwilightStarr

Family Court in the morning, hate that we have to go there but love the entertainment of people watching while I am there


----------



## CPProp

So thats why the roads are full of holes  macadam-munching moles


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Can't wear your heart on your sleeve if you've lost your shirt lol.


----------



## x0emnem0x

He so cute, y I no have him!?


----------



## missyj1978

I wonder if its bad when I'm talking to myself 
and I'm not even listening :doh:


----------



## Fuzzy

The Queen, The Vatican, The Gettys, The Rothschilds, *and* Colonel Sanders before he went tits up. Oh, I hated the Colonel with is wee *beady* eyes, and that smug look on his face. "Oh, you're gonna buy my chicken! Ohhhhh!"


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Don't wait for awesome


----------



## HeavyDuty24

I can be...your hero.


----------



## MattB

I don't know why people answer their doors when not expecting someone, or pizza.


----------



## Missamanda

What the fuck is wrong with me?


----------



## Dmitra

She never noticed the door's wood pattern formed angel wings until her friend stood in front of them.


----------



## missyj1978

If you think Im talking about you, I probably am


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I can't wait for the cardinals to play


----------



## ScreamingChicken

Whoever heard of a candy bar table at a wedding reception?!?


----------



## Oona

I hate being so crabby.


----------



## MattB

My hat is not intended to be ironic.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I hate allergies.


----------



## Missamanda

I'm not going to chase you.


----------



## CastingPearls

The pity is that you don't see that you choke on the poison of the bitterness you cling to which is not a thing of pride or survival, as you think, but the instrument of your own self-destruction, and you will read this and think it doesn't apply to you because it's more comfortable to cling to than learn the lessons of your experiences and take ownership of your part in them, lessons we all have to learn and take ownership of or wither and die, deluded.


----------



## Post_Ironic

It's only the panic-desire of attempting to analyze my relation to others and their histories without resorting to the fossilized narcissism of ahistoricity...


----------



## Iannathedriveress

There are too many severe thunderstorm


----------



## Mathias

Looks like she's found someone else.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

The world needs to be more lactose intolerant friendly


----------



## CPProp

By using my mobile all the time does this mean Im a phoney ?


----------



## ScreamingChicken

The streak is over.


----------



## TwilightStarr

I just realized that tonight's episode of Being Human is the very last episode EVER!!
I thought it was going to be the Season Finale but no, it's the Series Finale!!!  :sad: :goodbye:


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I'm afraid history will repeat itself


----------



## missyj1978

Dell, you suck!!


----------



## Highsteppa

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uA1CBHebCeo

Probably my all time favorite quote in all of film


----------



## TwilightStarr

Happy Rex Manning Day!!


----------



## Mathias

Well, wasn't that a nice surprise. :happy:


----------



## CPProp

Went to the bulb museum today for a bit of light entertainment


----------



## TwilightStarr

SERIOUSLY?!?! Is it too much to ask that I can go through one day and actually be concerned with myself and not have my sister and/or dad's bullshit triumph over everything else in the world?!

Because god forbid that it wasn't enough that I spent 5 hours in the ER today. Once I finally leave, we go to pick up my niece at my dad's(where my sister is staying, she is allowed to keep Alayiah for a little bit as long as someone is there). We pull up and my sister's ex/baby daddy/loser drug dealer is in my dad's apartment!!!

SERIOUSLY?! Because I can't count the number of times my sister said she wasn't going back to him!!! 
And she was told that if she did go back to him, she wouldn't be able to see the kids anymore.

I'm glad you once a-fucking-gain picked his ignorant, no good ass, over yours kids!!    :doh:


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Who knew a 17 year old can tell a real Rolex from a fake.


----------



## CleverBomb

The beard is finally starting to look intentional.


----------



## CPProp

I may not be the perfect idiot but Im sure Ill do until one comes along.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

Ya can't start a fiya, ya can't start a fiya without a spark, this gun's for hire, even if we're dancing in the dark.


----------



## Tad

There was too much cat and not enough elephant.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Winter is like a stalker that simply won't go away.


----------



## Dmitra

Why did the elephant stand on a marshmallow?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Tom Cruise is taking a snooze


----------



## CPProp

Its a pain when my voice goes on holiday, I have to write everything down.


----------



## ClashCityRocker

Interestingly enough, I dislike talking and would prefer a phone that only sent texts.


----------



## missyj1978

Im tired of saying the same stuff over and over!


----------



## CleverBomb

I'm tired of saying the same stuff over and over!


----------



## HeavyDuty24

I still kinda worry about it sadly.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

How about a bucket of mackerals?


----------



## Oona

I don't know about a bucket of mackerals, but she's a bucket of craaaaazy.


----------



## MattB

I just yawnburped, not as interesting as the sneezefart.


----------



## x0emnem0x

So I feel like Cinderella right now doing all these chores I'm making myself do.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I need to find some smooth pavement


----------



## CAMellie

Just keep doing what you're doing, beeps! :happy:


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I just got bammed


----------



## lovelocs

We understand all of these words, but the sentences are giving us some difficulty.


----------



## CleverBomb

...and me without my killing jar.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

My head feels burnt out


----------



## CPProp

well I'll go to the foot of our stairs, I never knew revolving doors have a speed limit.


----------



## HottiMegan

My eyelids slowly droop as i'm trying to get my first day of work going...


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Hmmn, what?


----------



## CPProp

Tomato sauce is brilliant for removing the smell of fox excrement from your dogs coat.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

At least Burger King gives me a burger that I want.


----------



## x0emnem0x

I really hope this goes well...


----------



## ScreamingChicken

The pool can't open up for the year fast enough.


----------



## CleverBomb

The house had the sterile ambiance of an upscale hotel suite.


----------



## TwilightStarr

My people of DIMS, I have missed you!! 
2 trips to the hospital and admitted for 3 days, oi vey it's been a rough week! 

Hope everybody is doing good!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

TwilightStarr said:


> My people of DIMS, I have missed you!!
> 2 trips to the hospital and admitted for 3 days, oi vey it's been a rough week!
> 
> Hope everybody is doing good!



Get Better


----------



## Iannathedriveress

My backyard is a wildlife refuge


----------



## ScreamingChicken

I am afraid I've got some bad news.


----------



## swamptoad

This sentence was constructed with good common sense and is not in any shape or form randomly placed within this thread for your reading leisure.


----------



## CleverBomb

Ladybugs are not bugs, they're beetles _(Coleoptera,_ not_ Hemiptera)._


----------



## swamptoad

Those facts or factoids are kinda bugging my thinking cap..i mean ..ummm nevermind cool!!!!!:bow:


----------



## CleverBomb

The Clippers take a 3-2 lead in the series.


----------



## swamptoad

"How'd you like me to lower your ears ....clippers or shears?" asked the barber.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I don't even have the slightest idea of what to except


----------



## MattB

What a delightfully dreary Walpurgisnacht...


----------



## x0emnem0x

I am so emotionally and physically drained, I just want to lay in bed all day.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

The choice is so hard


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

I don't wanna go.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Wave after wave I'm drifting away.


----------



## CPProp

I guess there's a reason why its called a cat flap and not a pussy flap


----------



## CleverBomb

My French Bulldog is quite fashionable, but it's still wrong to say he has Doggy Style.


----------



## MattB

I am constantly fascinated, and not the least bit envious, by people who have close and seemingly normal families.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Buying your avatar to twerk on Xbox Live sounds terrifying.


----------



## CPProp

CO2 fire extinguishers are great to get a jelly to set quickly


----------



## swamptoad

One day I threw a fit ...and I don't think it fit the situation that I threw it at.


----------



## HottiMegan

Fuck you medical establishment! Letting a kid suffer for bureaucracy is unforgivable!


----------



## swamptoad

I hereby proclaim all of the words formed by letters, spaced together or spaced apart from the space-bar sentenced!


----------



## CleverBomb

I bet you really do know what "IDK" stands for, but are pretending you don't because you don't want to tell me.


----------



## Joeyarrington

Sue Heck vs Tina Belcher: who is more cute and awkward?


----------



## swamptoad

The day that Mr. Friendly and Mrs. Smiling got married, was such a wondrous occasion full of friendly smiling guests.


----------



## largenlovely

how could you :*(


----------



## swamptoad

I'm on it like doggone it!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

This is why I can't have nice things.


----------



## swamptoad

Don't stop ....keep it going.


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

I am so over you! ...Oh how I wish that were true.


----------



## swamptoad

One native noticed that the guyot had a plentiful supply of coquina.


----------



## CPProp

Ive just been shocked by my electricity bill


----------



## ScreamingChicken

Oh really? What do we have to do; kidnap the Pope or something?


----------



## TwilightStarr




----------



## Snow Angel

My dog is just really one crazy oversized puppy!!!


----------



## swamptoad

Snow Angel said:


> My dog is just really one crazy oversized puppy!!!




craaaaaaazzzzzy dog!!!!


----------



## AuntHen

turnabout is fair play


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I didn't realize how different bread thickness are.


----------



## ButlerGirl09

I just want a doughnut. Is that too much to ask?!


----------



## CleverBomb

Don't you go trying to look adorable at me, 'cause it works.


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

If you think I'm jealous of _you_, then you've about lost your mind!


----------



## swamptoad

Are we there yet?


----------



## littlefairywren

If you're going to believe lies and idle gossip, you're no friend of mine.


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

Just get on with it already, sheesh!


----------



## swamptoad

Hey now, you're an allstar!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Snow Angel

The people you just want to smack in the head.


----------



## swamptoad

And that's the way the cookie crumbles....


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

Que Sera, Sera...


----------



## swamptoad

Those boxes of cereal are about to expire.


----------



## Dmitra

A secret about Ezekiel is revealed.


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

Well, I guess I can handle that.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I know big bird tired.


----------



## Mathias

Applejack, you can't eat all of those apples!


----------



## Snow Angel

Talk about a blast from the past.


----------



## CPProp

Have you got cloth ears or are they painted on


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

Wow, I am so proud of you!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

And whats wrong with guys playing female characters in video games?


----------



## Snow Angel

Turn that radio off.


----------



## swamptoad

We're off to see the wizard.


----------



## CleverBomb

I said, "but you know, kids, I can handle the big green glow-in-the-dark house up on the hill, I can handle the dark forest, I can handle the little old lady, but that's a very strange road you're sending me down -- I've seen yellow stripes in the middle of the road before, but kids, never quite that _wide_..."


----------



## swamptoad

I do believe in spooks!


----------



## CleverBomb

You think I'm dead, but I sail away on a wave of mutilation.


----------



## Snow Angel

What a long day, glad its over.


----------



## FreeThinker

Do you walk to work, or do you take your lunch _with_ you?


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

The way I feel about you will never go away.


----------



## dharmabean

You deserve happiness too.. .ya know.. we're of that age where we shouldn't have to fight for it.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Why it won't warm up


----------



## swamptoad

The dog's been fed.


----------



## Snow Angel

What the hay was that?


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

Go back to bed already!


----------



## ScreamingChicken

You fail all of your classes except one titled "College Success"....Really!?!?!


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

Please get me out of here!!


----------



## Dmitra

Scry an antidote to apathy.


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

Will you please go to bed already and give me a break?!


----------



## Snow Angel

Done with work, now two days off!!!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Your pushing it son, your really pushing it.


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

I just really want a Sonic shake.


----------



## ScreamingChicken

Ms Charlotte BBW said:


> I just really want a Sonic shake.



They will be half off after 8 PM.


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

ScreamingChicken said:


> They will be half off after 8 PM.



Really????? Oh thank you!! :bow:


----------



## snuggletiger

Banana milkshake is the bomb.
Lady , you a white bolero fur coat, and shiny boots figure it out.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

I don't care if u ain't got no legs, dance on yo knees!


----------



## Snow Angel

What the hay, go for it. You know you can do it.


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

There's always tomorrow for a Sonic shake.


----------



## HottiMegan

YAWN!! That is all...


----------



## swamptoad

I think I still remember the day that I ran after a train and ....crap I just lost my train of thought.


----------



## x0emnem0x

I want you to want me.


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

Darn it, you are just to sexy to forget!


----------



## CleverBomb

You could knit a spare kitten with that.


----------



## swamptoad

One of these days I might have a random thought.


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

Finally, you get it now!


----------



## Snow Angel

What a long day now its time to rest.


----------



## CleverBomb

Well, if I were you I'd look up and find a place there in the sky where there's room enough to spread it out, and look 'round for where to land when you come down.


----------



## HeavyDuty24

So that's how you treat a good employee?! really?!


----------



## MattB

If Hecubus is sleeping, how can he hear me?


----------



## Snow Angel

So what did I do wrong? Nothing at all sweetheart.


----------



## pinklipsandfathips

Should I apply a second layer of nail polish? Or just leave my nails alone for tonight?


----------



## spiritangel

Hi Ho Hi ho off to dinner I go


----------



## Victoria08

Worst season finale ever.


----------



## ButlerGirl09

You Pay Now!


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?


----------



## Snow Angel

What a long day it has been.


----------



## Dmitra

I'm proud of us.


----------



## swamptoad

Baby, everything is alright ...uptight ...out of sight!


----------



## CleverBomb

Well I'm not the kind to live in the past -- the years run too short and the days too fast.


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

Do I have to?


----------



## MattB

My imaginary friend moved to Belgium, without telling me!


----------



## Snow Angel

Woohoo I will be off soon and have my 2 days off.


----------



## x0emnem0x

I am so crazy lost but I shall just let it be.


----------



## Snow Angel

It's way to early to be up at this time lol.


----------



## spiritangel

Dinner experiment a success will def make that again


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

I just want to go already...


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Damn it Chumlee quit masterbating on company time


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

ClutchingIA19 said:


> Damn it Chumlee quit masterbating on company time



Ahahahaha!!!!


----------



## x0emnem0x

Why do people get close to me if they just end up leaving?


----------



## Mathias

Lana. Lana. Lana! *LANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!*


----------



## Dmitra

Fuck you and your eyebrows!!


----------



## Snow Angel

What a wonderful day!!!


----------



## CleverBomb

Ms Charlotte BBW said:


> Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?





x0emnem0x said:


> Why do people get close to me if they just end up leaving?


Obviously, they want to attract birds.


----------



## spiritangel

OMG what was I thinking where will I put it all


----------



## Iannathedriveress

The bunny is being lazy in the grass


----------



## Snow Angel

Oh my goodness what some crazy driving.


----------



## CPProp

It would be great if people had day glow teeth so you could see them smile in the dark.


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

I wanna be a happy shiny person!


----------



## CastingPearls

I have no clue why you stopped by and showed me a pic of your girlfriend, but thanks for thinking of me and the nice gifts!


----------



## spiritangel

Is it rubbish day yet?


----------



## Snow Angel

Work work why do we work oh now I remember to pay bills.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

That accent sounds rural


----------



## ButlerGirl09

Calgon take me away!


----------



## spiritangel

I sometimes wish I had someone to help me pick sexy things


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Why doesn't the dog take me seriously


----------



## CPProp

The sun has got his hat on  blister, blister, ouch so should have I


----------



## MattB

Mere weeks from the big 4-0 and yes, I just don't understand the kids today.


----------



## Dmitra

Correlation does not equal causation.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Too many pringles are not good for the stomach


----------



## Snow Angel

What some strange people I see.


----------



## swamptoad

Sometimes I wonder if we just simply slip away from our train of thought like that other day when I was chasing a moving train and nearly slipped on the tracks.


----------



## CleverBomb

They have a thing that they call "radar love," described alternately as being a light in the sky or a wave in the air, and assert that it has rendered postal and telephonic communication obsolete -- we must find out what it is!


----------



## spiritangel

You were Amazing


----------



## swamptoad

I think my Oreo Cheesecake shake from Sonic was more like Oreo Cheesecake icecream. :eat1:


----------



## Snow Angel

swamptoad said:


> I think my Oreo Cheesecake shake from Sonic was more like Oreo Cheesecake icecream. :eat1:




I bet it was good just like my strawberry cheesecake shake.


----------



## Victoria08

I wonder if it's too early to start packing my suitcase?


----------



## CAMellie

My bladder is NOT a soccer ball, son


----------



## Snow Angel

Wow what a extremely long day at work.


----------



## WhiteHotRazor

There is a balloon in my tree.


----------



## CleverBomb

My hovercraft is full of eels.


----------



## MattB

My neighbours, while partying at 12:30am, sang "Girls Just Want To Have Fun" really loud and I am currently planning my revenge as we speak.


----------



## Snow Angel

Wonder what the dog is dreaming about wit all that noise.


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

Who wants to have flurries of frozen fun?


----------



## swamptoad

The calamitous precipice provided a plethora of anxiety for those who were acrophobic.


----------



## CAMellie

My faith in humanity got a big old jump today


----------



## Snow Angel

What a rainy day at work, when I got home my husband asked if I wanted to have a drink, I said sure boy am I drunk lol rum and coke. Swamptoad is off tomorrow but I have to work, I will have it slept off by the time I leave for work lol.


----------



## spiritangel

It fits it fits so excited first Igigi dress and it was all mine for a bargain $44


----------



## HottiMegan

Why didn't i buy two gallons of that root beer?!


----------



## spiritangel

Must stop buying new clothes


----------



## CPProp

Never again - I mistook woodworm for bookworm and ended up reading a coffee table


----------



## ButlerGirl09

Holdin' on to black metal


----------



## Weirdo890

I can give multiple orgasms to the furniture just by sitting on it.


----------



## swamptoad

I'd like to sit for a while if my legs can stand it.


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

Oh my God, it's a killer plant!


----------



## CastingPearls

Some threads just aren't worth the stress, even for curiosity's sake.


----------



## CleverBomb

A little-known team of scientists and government agents are all that stands between everything green in America and total devastation -- no, it's not a movie plot, it's just another workday at an ordinary-looking building in El Segundo, California.


----------



## Snow Angel

Only in Louisiana you see a truck going down the road with someone's feet hanging out the window smh!!!


----------



## HottiMegan

Digital media should be cheaper than physical media...


----------



## Ms Charlotte BBW

Happy Father's Day.


----------



## Dmitra

World War ZzZzZ


----------



## CastingPearls

Why are you bitching and asking for advice on the same issue all the time, when you never EVER take it from anyone?


----------



## Mathias

The things I've done will pale in compairison to the things I'm going to do.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Don't blame O.J for the demise of the Ford Bronco.


----------



## HottiMegan

I could totally go for a nap about now.


----------



## CPProp

I like a BOGOF bargin


----------



## MattB

It's all downhill from here, so running should be easier.


----------



## HottiMegan

It's almost the one year anniversary of hub's stroke.. i still fear another every single day.


----------



## Snow Angel

Oh man what a lucky day you had.


----------



## CleverBomb

It was definitely time to buy a new bed.


----------



## missyj1978

I miss you so much it hurts


----------



## Saisha

Why do I keep thinking about you even though I haven't seen you in ages?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

How are you suppose to work from a Ipad


----------



## CleverBomb

iDon'tKnow.


----------



## kizzylove

why does mash potatoes get cold so quickly?


----------



## Dromond

Why am I awake?


----------



## spiritangel

OMG 2 weeks what was I thinking


----------



## Saisha

I feel like Garfield today - so where the bleep is my lasagna? :huh:


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Welcome to Jurassic Bark


----------



## CAMellie

I never realized how much I would miss carbohydrates


----------



## spiritangel

I can't believe I thought I had an extra week oops at least this time next week I will be excited about going to the opening of the Game of Thrones Exhibit


----------



## CPProp

The lamb pulled the wool over its eyes and now cant see where Its going


----------



## Saisha

Round and round it goes and there it buzzes!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Well hello Clarice, have the Lamborghinis stop screaming?


----------



## kizzylove

why is my phone so staticy


----------



## MattB

The lightning is six alligators away.


----------



## CleverBomb

That was quick.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

You put a flamethrower on a school bus?


----------



## Saisha

Henrietta went to town and bought herself a pair of wonky giraffe house-shoes.


----------



## MattB

This place is like a magnet.


----------



## Saisha

You're going to need a bigger boat.


----------



## ButlerGirl09

Momma needs a Xanax.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Now they offer angry birds comics


----------



## Snow Angel

I think it's gonna be a good day.


----------



## prplecat

My dog looks funny with his ass shaved.


----------



## Saisha

prplecat said:


> My dog looks funny with his ass shaved.



Certainly wasn't expecting that sentence


----------



## Iannathedriveress

It would be nice if I can read it at my own pace.


----------



## CleverBomb

I'm not sure if that's a bee or something trying to look like one, but either way it's up way too late.


----------



## Saisha

No need to vacuum down to the floor joists.


----------



## CAMellie

Gonna change my dog's name to cock blocker :doh:


----------



## CleverBomb

CAMellie said:


> Gonna change my dog's name to cock blocker :doh:


Is he a Blocker Spaniel?


----------



## spiritangel

need sleep lots of sleep damn you insomnia


----------



## CPProp

I seem to attract idiots could be wear the wrong deodorant


----------



## Saisha

I'm probably the only person who calls their ceiling fan a propeller.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Its like putting a wolf in charge of the sheep.


----------



## spiritangel

how is it possible that I am supposedly still behind in the rent when I pay it every fortnight when I get paid............


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Am I the only one besides Todd in the shawdows that dislikes Jason Derulo?


----------



## HottiMegan

I wish i were a stronger person to be able to stand up for myself.


----------



## Saisha

Clatter, clatter, type, type.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I feel that I am someone who is trapped in my body.


----------



## Saisha

Donald and Daffy should do a Dumb and Dumber remake.


----------



## x0emnem0x

There’s a poison in all of us,
and we fight to keep it at bay,
thinking no one can see our demons,
until there is someone who sees it all,
and chooses to return each day.


----------



## spiritangel

I enjoyed that more than I thought I would


----------



## Oona

I swear I'm alive... I think...


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I need to come out, but I feel too terrified to do so.


----------



## HottiMegan

The sadness and hurt overwhelms me sometimes.


----------



## spiritangel

It was like sleeping under a warm fluffy cloud


----------



## veggieforever

How do the men who drive snow ploughs get to work???


----------



## Dmitra

"Hullo, folks!"

From _Comfort and Joy, 1984._


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I need to pay attention to the little details.


----------



## MattB

As seen on Netflix, and in Denmark...


----------



## x0emnem0x

Click here if you have anonymous questions you're dying to ask me!


----------



## rockhound225

Worst, he read Tuesdays with Maury!


----------



## x0emnem0x

I really, really need $900.


----------



## spiritangel

Sometimes you get sick of being taken for granted


----------



## Iannathedriveress

There is a balance that needs to be found.


----------



## MattB

First real caffeine dose since January!


----------



## Saisha

Limit one purchase discount per transaction.


----------



## spookytwigg

Put the thing in the thing!


----------



## Saisha

spookytwigg said:


> Put the thing in the thing!



Shoot - that reminds me somewhat of a line from a movie - oh yeah, Jurassic Park when the computer guy is trying to get the cable around the tree to get the jeep off the water fall


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I need a Chumlee bobblehead


----------



## MattB

Quit bobblin' yer head n' get back to work Chumlee!


----------



## CleverBomb

I'm pretending to have taught myself to color my own hair, but it's just an auto-dyed act.


----------



## HottiMegan

My butt is so hot!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Who would use a cheap, plastic kids toy to be used in an offensive song?


----------



## spookytwigg

Dear lord it's hot!


----------



## Dmitra

Elements of the aggressive style.


----------



## CleverBomb

Tofu for the Tofu God! Cabbage for the Arugula Throne!


----------



## CleverBomb

En caso de emergencia con su alpaca: llama 911.


----------



## Deacone

Emergency Induction Port aka Straw


----------



## rellis10

I'm addicted to Destiny and it's not out for more than a month :doh:


----------



## MattB

When I got home today I opened my front door really fast to see if the extremely hot air outside, when meeting the cool air in my house, would create a small thunderstorm.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Why can't car makers build decent ignition switiches?


----------



## spookytwigg

And now the penguin on your television set will explode.


----------



## Fattitude1

This post is exactly my 1,000th post.


----------



## ODFFA

I can't wait for this emotionally stunted manchild to get out of my sight.


----------



## Saisha

ODFFA said:


> I can't wait for this emotionally stunted manchild to get out of my sight.



Dress him up in a gnome costume and make him stand out in the garden for a bit


----------



## spookytwigg

Why shave your face sensibly when you can carve chunks out of it instead?


----------



## Fattitude1

Plenty of good seats still available.


----------



## spookytwigg

Now I have fully melted I would like to be stored in a fridge until the heat calms down a little.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya

I miss you, think about you, and am legitimately starting to worry. Are you okay? Did I do something? Can I do something? Let me in!


----------



## spookytwigg

Ia, ia, Cthulhu f'taghn.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Cars are like shoes, there is a model or pair that fits the job.


----------



## CPProp

I hate the Barberque in summer it always takes to long to get my haircut.


----------



## spookytwigg

Lulu can bugger off if she thinks she's getting her celestial weapon.


----------



## Saisha

That would drive me nuts to stitch that. Yikes!


----------



## spiritangel

Who text messages at 6.40am in the morning....


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I'm rooting for Team Legolas


----------



## spiritangel

This whole spoiling myself and trips away thing is fun gonna be sad when its over


----------



## spiritangel

Must keep chipping away


----------



## penguin

I better start planning Halloween costumes.


----------



## CleverBomb

I hope I remember how to repair drywall correctly.


----------



## Saisha

Next time, just ask me and I will get it for you. :doh:


----------



## spookytwigg

The bus drivers in this town are getting worse and worse.


----------



## spiritangel

Why is Kit furniture so exhausting to put together?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I need to get myself a Rolls Royce


----------



## spookytwigg

It's punk weekend in Blackpool!


----------



## Saisha

I don't think parrots were an effective deterrent.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Time to move in the next stage in life


----------



## spookytwigg

I got a new phone on my contract and it's the size of my whole face.


----------



## CPProp

Liquidated damage - when you spill coffee over a contract


----------



## Iannathedriveress

What has the world come to?


----------



## spookytwigg

What do you mean there's no milkshake?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Transitioning to the opposite isn't going to be cheap.


----------



## HottiMegan

I feel so completely alone.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Its cheese curd saturday.


----------



## spookytwigg

I may have bought too many comics.


----------



## Snow Angel

Oh sleep where are you I have to work in a little while.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I wish I can work at a place where employment last longer than a month.


----------



## ODFFA

How 'bout we pretend this never even happened?


----------



## spookytwigg

Cause that's how you get ants.


----------



## rellis10

Chicken's another kettle of fish.


----------



## CleverBomb

Ok, now that I can take selfies from the ceiling at the far end of the living room, let's work on doing it from thirty stories up.


----------



## Dmitra

"Don't take this in a bad way, dear, but you have the look of the mule that kicked Joseph when Mary wasn't looking."


----------



## CAMellie

Stop telling me I'm gonna give birth to Will Ferrell!


----------



## CPProp

Does wearing bifocals mean Im doubled glazed?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Some people read Batman or Spiderman, I read Angry Birds.


----------



## spookytwigg

It's all kicking off in the Feycare centre.


----------



## Deacone

How appropriate, you fight like a cow.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Cars. Outdoors, and Fashion, that's how I roll


----------



## spookytwigg

I'm going to put my face on your face.


----------



## spiritangel

that little adventure was so much fun


----------



## x0emnem0x

Keep calm and look at the flowers.


----------



## CPProp

Only through caution to the wind when its blowing away from you


----------



## Fuzzy

The women on myfreecams are the most bored looking bunch of ladies I've ever seen.


----------



## ODFFA

"I don't know, but I think it's something slightly resembling..........gumption!"


----------



## swinglifeaway

Just remember, the universe is patient.


----------



## CleverBomb

We're going to need a bigger Iceland.


----------



## HottiMegan

Whenever i see headlines or references to ISIS, my thought go to the show Archer first..


----------



## Dmitra

In many fandoms, groups of fans with differing OTPs will engage in vehement discussions, known as shipping wars often leading to wank.


----------



## spookytwigg

I think I'm going to try and use Cheesy Pete as a swear from now on.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I should be thankful for the things in life.


----------



## Saisha

Power drills and spoons do not mix.


----------



## Mathias

HottiMegan said:


> Whenever i see headlines or references to ISIS, my thought go to the show Archer first..



Lana. Lana! *LANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!*


----------



## spookytwigg

I want to start a comics thread but I'm too lazy.


----------



## Victoria08

How to tell my boss that I'm going back to school and then getting a real job?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Time to job search, once and again.


----------



## FionaForemost

He had the hairiest ears I've ever seen.


----------



## Deacone

It wasn't the murders that made him my favourite


----------



## Victoria08

I seriously need to stop buying expensive coffee and start saving up for NYC instead!


----------



## spookytwigg

Are 8 million nerds really enough?


----------



## balletguy

I hope so, I really hope so.


----------



## luvmybhm

while the cow cleared the moon, sadly, the aardvark didn't make it. :doh:


----------



## balletguy

If the moon is made of cheese, I hope it is Swiss.


----------



## MattB

Never again Floyd Rose, never again...


----------



## spookytwigg

Not now sleep, now is the time for busses.


----------



## CPProp

Buy a Mac for those free down loads


----------



## Fuzzy

My tummy had the rumblies that only hands could satisfy.


----------



## Saisha

You know you're tired when you tell your family that there are extra towels in the freezer.


----------



## spookytwigg

Damn dog, inappropes.


----------



## littlefairywren

There are way too many ass-hatted, nasty morons for karma to cope with in this world.


----------



## CleverBomb

I'm trying to sound sad to get the dog to stop barking at the ball under the couch (he isn't going to scare it out from under there!) and now the cat is worried about me.


----------



## spookytwigg

I must not fall asleep at work!


----------



## biggirlsrock

Rain is putting a damper on my campfire tonight...literally.


----------



## spookytwigg

I would really like to be able to focus and find things that I want to do.


----------



## MattB

Deactivated Facebook (again), and it always feels amazing.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Garage sales, garage sales everywhere


----------



## CleverBomb

Crab meeples?
Crab meeples.


----------



## Fuzzy

After graduating from the stroller life, the pleasure of watching others struggle with stroller life over uneven grassy terrain at a huge (Peach Days) car show is very satisfying.


----------



## x0emnem0x

CPProp said:


> Buy a Mac for those free down loads



It is sad that I saw Mac and immediately thought of Big Mac. :doh:


----------



## spookytwigg

Who needs guitars when you've got bass and drums?


----------



## CleverBomb

Now, that's a BFD (Big Frenchie Dog)!


----------



## HottiMegan

I want to disappear.


----------



## Fuzzy

When Cameron was in Egypt's land.. let my Cameron go...


----------



## MattB

Do you ever take the long way home to finish listening to a song?


----------



## spookytwigg

Pizza coma!


----------



## CleverBomb

MattB said:


> Do you ever take the long way home to finish listening to a song?


Yes. Especially when it's Supertramp.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

It we can stop reporting on Ferguson that would be lovely


----------



## x0emnem0x

ClutchingIA19 said:


> It we can stop reporting on Ferguson that would be lovely



^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


----------



## ODFFA

I approve of any sentence starting with 'The bunny did a superkick...'


----------



## Fuzzy

Haha! Madest thou look!


----------



## spookytwigg

I should always remember the golden rule.


----------



## HottiMegan

Woops! It's 4pm and i forgot to eat today.. no wonder i'm woozy.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Someone should give the driver of a Vauxhall Corsa for their bravery of doing 131 mph on a motorway a medal.


----------



## Fuzzy

An aurora is possible tonight for parts of the northern US that are usually out of range (X-class flares have been released by the sun which usually cause satellite and GPS problems) 

Remember to look tonight! (Friday, Sept 12.)


----------



## Ohio Lady

Always sleepy till I lay my head on the pillow than I'm wide awake.


----------



## moore2me

Fuzzy said:


> An aurora is possible tonight for parts of the northern US that are usually out of range (X-class flares have been released by the sun which usually cause satellite and GPS problems)
> 
> Remember to look tonight! (Friday, Sept 12.)



Found a pix. 

View attachment aurora and milky way.jpg


----------



## Fuzzy

I had too much city-light pollution to see anything. Course, if I lived 50 miles west of here I wouldn't have to worry about too much light. (I might have to worry about living in the middle of a bombing range tho)


----------



## Ohio Lady

Man, the weather is getting cooler, the leaves are starting to change colors, Where did summer go?


----------



## spookytwigg

Aaaagh, I really don't want this soar throat.


----------



## Ohio Lady

spookytwigg said:


> Aaaagh, I really don't want this soar throat.


Hope you get to feeling better.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Now I will be sounding like a Scottish woman.


----------



## MattB

Check your privacy settings.


----------



## Saisha

Knit one, purl two, oh go buckle your shoe.


----------



## Fuzzy

Monday, the other Saturday.


----------



## Ohio Lady

Remember one foot in front of the other makes walking so much better.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Imagine all of the luxury cars I could own in the future.


----------



## x0emnem0x

Sometimes I want nothing more than to be out of this damn house...


----------



## MsBrightside

You're more powerful than a jar of mini-gherkins. 

(Quote from an 8-year-old boy: they have to be some of the goofiest inhabitants of the planet. )


----------



## Ohio Lady

Remember it is never fun to get choked while drinking water.


----------



## spookytwigg

I nearly spat out my snakebite and black.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Why do Americans keep crossing into North Korea?


----------



## Ohio Lady

Apple Festival= Elephant Ears, Cotton Candy, Great Entertainment~ Let's go!!


----------



## spookytwigg

Just one more day till a three day weekend!


----------



## rellis10

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8gAtTxWhUY[/ame]


----------



## Dmitra

But it's good, though!


----------



## spookytwigg

No freedom for you


----------



## Deacone

Periods help you learn how to get blood of things; which is probably why you hear more stories of men getting caught with murder


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I'm getting desperate to hear something back.


----------



## Ohio Lady

Really? Just went through this 6 months again.


----------



## spookytwigg

A book might be too good if it makes you sad for the rest of the day.


----------



## x0emnem0x

Have you ever heard of the friend zone? :x


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Every time I wake in the morning I wake hoping to be in a new body, then I wake up disappointed.


----------



## Deacone

Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's anal beads.

(now sing it in the advert tune)


----------



## spookytwigg

It's alright for you two, you're used to being social piranhas


----------



## CleverBomb

Somehow, knowing it's just a game doesn't much mitigate putting kittens in the blender.


----------



## Deacone

He's drowning in buttplugs


----------



## MattB

I'm expecting the next email from my company will be an announcement that the sky is blue.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Why does the bladder have to be the enemy?


----------



## one2one

You know how sometimes life throws you a curve ball, and you don't see it coming, so you don't even have time to throw up your hands to protect your head and end up taking the hit right between the eyes.


----------



## Ohio Lady

Life couldn't be any better unless the other baby was here to so we can enjoy them both!!


----------



## Victoria08

My fingers are too fat for this screen...I keep clicking on profiles instead of the thread title :doh:


----------



## spookytwigg

Head is slowly collapsing in on self.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

The Scottish Games were fun.


----------



## Fuzzy

That wasn't supposed to happen.


----------



## Deacone

Are children small, or just really far away?


----------



## MattB

Boredom terrifies me.


----------



## largenlovely

wow, i did not see this sudden turn of events coming


----------



## spookytwigg

Vocals are so low in the mix.


----------



## Ohio Lady

My heart feels like it is in my throat after I seen that stupid lizard in my house.


----------



## CleverBomb

I'm going to save a mental kitty.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Just another boring morning.


----------



## spiritangel

I can not believe how much I forgot until the last darn minute


----------



## HottiMegan

I feel a night of many gasses coming on..


----------



## Fuzzy

I feel a song coming on...


----------



## spookytwigg

We are the dead.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

The rain keeps pushing it.


----------



## CAMellie

OMG I'm so sick of hearing "Let It Go"!!!!  Yes...please...LET IT EFFING GO ALREADY!!!!


----------



## MattB

Thinking of wearing corpse paint to the football game on Hallowe'en, which violates several personal rules I have for myself but still...corpse paint!


----------



## CleverBomb

Same title, different song -- that might actually help, or if it doesn't at least it's different.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Why does the 14th has to be so far away?


----------



## spookytwigg

Peanut butter M&Ms OMFG!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I can't wait to dress up as a witch


----------



## rellis10

I don't think sleep is going to come easily tonight.


----------



## CleverBomb

I hope his optimism is well-founded.


----------



## Saisha

I may have repeated myself but some things are worth repeating.


----------



## spookytwigg

Time to read a simple book I think.


----------



## Ohio Lady

It is time for music, like right now!!


----------



## CleverBomb

If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I could use 1 or 2 more hours of deep sleep


----------



## CAMellie

I'm full-term, there's a blood moon a-comin', and I'm ready to meet my son...bring on the sexy times!


----------



## Ohio Lady

Such a nice peaceful night - Ahhhhhhhh is calm and wonderful here.


----------



## Fuzzy

Sorry, Quaid. Your whole life is just a dream.


----------



## CleverBomb

There's... a bathroom on the right.


----------



## spookytwigg

Somebody jump-start my brain please.


----------



## Ohio Lady

I know I just got up; but can I please start the night over?


----------



## Ohio Lady

spookytwigg said:


> Somebody jump-start my brain please.


I would but I seem to have lost my spookytwigg jumper cables.. Lol


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Its so frustrating for me right now.


----------



## spiritangel

This time next week I will be 40


----------



## prplecat

My cat is snoring in my ear. :huh:


----------



## spookytwigg

Come on tomorrow, I need your day offness.


----------



## Ohio Lady

I am completely done with these rainy days!! I want summer back.


----------



## Tad

Check out the size of my celery stalks! 

(no, seriously, this celery is huge--it won't fit in the crisper drawer of the fridge)


----------



## littlefairywren

I know he wants it to be big, but please don't let it be too big.


----------



## Fuzzy

I just love scanning for lifeforms.


----------



## CPProp

Back to the drawing board - my Cadbury egg didnt boil that well


----------



## CleverBomb

Apparently the batteries are still available, but if they're new old stock who knows if they'll still work.


----------



## Ohio Lady

2:06 am can't sleep; where is that sandman when I need him the most?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Happy National Coming Out Day


----------



## Fuzzy

Do you also have monkey with shockey stick who hit you when you not work fast enough?


----------



## CleverBomb

Suddenly a hush fell over the room, injuring six.


----------



## spookytwigg

Sunday bloody Sunday.


----------



## Fuzzy

And then I have this pain in all the diodes down my left side. I've asked to have them replaced but no-one ever listens..


----------



## CleverBomb

Oh no, not again.


----------



## spookytwigg

Everything is better with ska.


----------



## CAMellie

Dilaudid and 10mg Norco are my new best friends right now


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I'm going to hate crossing into St. Louis tomorrow.


----------



## Fuzzy

Everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?


----------



## Ohio Lady

I don't wanna go!! No I don't wanna go and you can't make me!!


----------



## Snow Angel

Sleep oh sleep where are you? I gotta get up early.


----------



## CleverBomb

That wasn't so bad after all, now was it?


----------



## spookytwigg

Did I fall asleep?


----------



## Fuzzy

This deal is very fair and I'm happy to be a part of it.


----------



## spookytwigg

Ooooh, I love this song!


----------



## Dmitra

A secret about Ezekiel is revealed.


----------



## CleverBomb

That's a fair statement and I can endorse it.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Grumpy Cat is here


----------



## CleverBomb

The children next door are screaming -- can you hear them?


----------



## MattB

What music they make...


----------



## spookytwigg

Quadruple strength coffee please.


----------



## spiritangel

House please stop waging war on me I know you want the new furniture as much as I do but toppling the old storage systems is not helping me get there any faster


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Why does writing have to be so hard


----------



## spookytwigg

Well dinner time today will be fun.


----------



## ScreamingChicken

I didn't realized that this barn housed nags or that one of them was in charge of the place.


----------



## spookytwigg

Debase the beef... Canoe?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I need more nights of full sleep


----------



## shadowedmorning

I'm thinking I should've said yes.


----------



## spookytwigg

Yep, what Blackpool needed was definitely a hurricane.


----------



## littlefairywren

Spell check, Kimberly!


----------



## Dmitra

The possibility of the egg came before the possibility of the chicken.


----------



## Ohio Lady

SNOW for Halloween? Really??


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

Timeo Cubanos et Daisy Fuentes


----------



## Ohio Lady

Finally!! Friday it is, Let the fun begin!


----------



## GhostEater

Waiting for Life to kick in.


----------



## ODFFA

THAT..... is one awesome looking poster


----------



## shadowedmorning

I am so glad I'm the only one who likes the crab dip.


----------



## MattB

No matter how hard I wish, the wind never blows my leaves onto the neighbours' yard.


----------



## Ohio Lady

I need a break from this house for a Freeze from Speedway:eat2:


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I got my first gold can today.


----------



## Fuzzy

that moment when the abundance of halloween candy starts to disappear.


----------



## spookytwigg

Waiting on a bank again.


----------



## danielson123

The cafeteria at work is serving sushi, and I'm in the mood for a gamble.


----------



## spookytwigg

Every day is pizza day!


----------



## Ohio Lady

Chocolate has to be a woman's best friend


----------



## Ohio Lady

spookytwigg said:


> Every day is pizza day!


I agree with you spookytwigg, anytime is good for Pizza


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I really hate having gender dysphoria, it makes more depressed than I'm really am.


----------



## shadowedmorning

God, she's skinny and pretty, of course all the guys I know are crazy about her. >.<


----------



## rellis10

I... I don't even... What in the blue-smurffing hell did I just watch?!


----------



## spookytwigg

Proud erect fingers everyone!


----------



## MattB

Maybe there won't be a winter this year.


----------



## shadowedmorning

This isn't helping...League of Legends, more like League of Loneliness--well, with fire and flashes.


----------



## CleverBomb

It's moist, and I like that (California needed rain).


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I'm not going to scream louder than them.


----------



## spookytwigg

Leftover halloween chocolate for breakfast!


----------



## CleverBomb

You know, I could make a pretty big and elaborate craft project out of all the political mailers I've gotten.


----------



## shadowedmorning

Does this mean I won't have to hear political ads on Pandora anymore?!


----------



## spookytwigg

Dear lord, please let there be no more stickers.


----------



## Saisha

Finally remembered my password!


----------



## spiritangel

book binges are fun


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Transgender characters should be played by transgender people.


----------



## spookytwigg

Throat is full of pins.


----------



## Saisha

Chocolate sounds good.


----------



## spookytwigg

Time for explosions!


----------



## rellis10

Pretty sure I'm losing it...


----------



## rellis10

The night is darkest just before the dawn.


----------



## Fuzzy

Saisha said:


> Chocolate sounds good.



Chocolate is always good. Sith dark is even better.


----------



## MattB

Our beer commercials are so irritating.


----------



## ODFFA

I wasn't made for this, so never again.


----------



## spiritangel

I wanna go to Chocolate School again


----------



## MattB

I've been hanging out on page two lately.


----------



## spiritangel

Nerdy crafting rocks my socks


----------



## Ohio Lady

Is there ever going to be any sleep for me tonight?


----------



## Dmitra

Albino animals are insanely beautiful, but on the flip side, so are their hyper-pigmented, vividly rendered animal cousins!


----------



## spookytwigg

Soon it will be day off time.


----------



## Ohio Lady

Peanut butter fudge, good and tasty


----------



## spookytwigg

I am not a smart man.


----------



## MattB

It is way too early for the Winter Beard of Apathy, yet here we are!


----------



## spookytwigg

Time for crazy winter hats.


----------



## Tom the pig 8

My chair is getting too small.


----------



## shadowedmorning

Maybe I'll just rest my ey--zzzzzzzz.


----------



## MattB

On average Canadians consume 23.4 pounds of cheddar cheese per person annually.


----------



## spookytwigg

It's 3am, let's talk about the Beatles.


----------



## CAMellie

Baby puke in my right armpit...don't ask :doh:


----------



## MattB

It's farther, but not so far that it can't be seen.


----------



## Dmitra

They've always seemed peaceful to me.


----------



## spookytwigg

Man, I thought you were joking.


----------



## penguin

Wine o'clock and SWTOR and oh it feels good.


----------



## littlefairywren

Don't you hate it when you see an ad for the game "Animal Jam" as you're browsing...but you read it as "Anal Jam." Reading glasses, Kimberly!


----------



## spookytwigg

Fuzzy in the brain mobile!


----------



## Mathias

Did you think I'd forgotten you?


----------



## one2one

My mom wants to move part of Christmas up by 11days to celebrate with family who will be out of town, and I now understand how people completely lose their minds this time of year.


----------



## spookytwigg

I can't seem to tell the difference.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

This lotion is too fragile


----------



## MattB

I'm tied to a clock.


----------



## rellis10

The smell of biscuits through my window at 1.15am is pure torture!


----------



## spookytwigg

I guess that I'm not gonna have time to get stuff done today then.


----------



## MattB

I'm as free as the breeze and I ride where I please.


----------



## Saisha

For someone so focused on the here and now, it's sad how you keep trying to recapture a part of your past to make up for your mistakes.


----------



## spookytwigg

Hello sun rise.


----------



## balletguy

Why can't I sleep?


----------



## spiritangel

oops must remember to post pics here more regularly


----------



## CleverBomb

Step away for a month to focus on academics, and it's hard to figure out where to step back in again.


----------



## ODFFA

It's like rugby for pugs...... pugby.


----------



## spiritangel

My heart aches for you Sydney


----------



## spookytwigg

It's time for a family outing!


----------



## spiritangel

Christmas munchies ordered, ribbon for invitations ordered, now I can sleep


----------



## spookytwigg

Busiest day of the year tomorrow!


----------



## CPProp

Going highbro in Lougboro if the sat nav gets it right


----------



## MattB

Everyone's last name is Bauhaus.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Merry Christmas Everybody


----------



## CleverBomb

and to you and yours, likewise.


----------



## MattB

Echo! (Echo...echo...echo...echo...)


----------



## CleverBomb

In a chamber of hellos, "Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello!"


----------



## spiritangel

wow that was way low key this year


----------



## spookytwigg

Sooooooooo soggy.


----------



## ODFFA

Someone parodying Morgan Freeman: "Sorry that wasn't very good....but....they paid me in freckles."


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

ODFFA said:


> Someone parodying Morgan Freeman: "Sorry that wasn't very good....but....they paid me in freckles."



[FREEMAN]Although I might have a measly shiv, it is quite effective when applied to the jugular. [/FREEMAN]

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDQx-guzx2s[/ame]


----------



## MattB

Like a lily pad in a swamp, I am flat and stagnant.


----------



## bbw_babe

But for several months of the year that Lilly pad blossoms into a beautiful flower Matt....


----------



## MattB

I do clean up well, I guess.


----------



## CleverBomb

Ah well, that's just the way the Mercedes Benz.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

What would happen if you shave all of Chewbacca's fur off?


----------



## MattB

Greased lightnin'!


----------



## penguin

ClutchingIA19 said:


> What would happen if you shave all of Chewbacca's fur off?





MattB said:


> Greased lightnin'!



That creates disturbing mental imagery.


----------



## spookytwigg

Mmm the taste of blood.


----------



## CleverBomb

Who am I, and why am I here?


----------



## spookytwigg

Take the donut!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Why does my stomach have to be so upset?


----------



## Rojodi

If it weren't for pizza and caffeinated drinks, not many people would graduate from college.


----------



## luscious_lulu

I'm baaaack!


----------



## CleverBomb

Welcome back!


----------



## MattB

Lemon curry?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Chocolate curry?


----------



## spookytwigg

Chicken chocolate?


----------



## Rojodi

Humor occurs when a flat bottomed shoe meets freshly fallen snow on the sidewalk.


----------



## CleverBomb

ClutchingIA19 said:


> Chocolate curry?





spookytwigg said:


> Chicken chocolate?


Chicken Cherry Cola.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Russia is off of my driving map


----------



## CleverBomb

Take a deep breath and count to ten before you say something you regret against the machine.


----------



## Dmitra

Take the hearts back and place them on the balance.


----------



## Victoria08

I forgot how annoying it is to sleep on a fresh piercing.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Let's hope the Packers will win today.


----------



## biggirlsrock

Drumming is my madness.


----------



## MattB

Nothing like a post-run poutine...


----------



## penguin

It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to.


----------



## Victoria08

I hate being wrong


----------



## Gspoon

Cats are brown sometimes


----------



## CleverBomb

It's cool for cats.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Cats are planning to dominate the world.


----------



## Rojodi

Cats would dominate the world IF they didn't sleep 18-20 hours a day!


----------



## Gspoon

Show me a waterfall that faces north


----------



## MattB

Rojodi said:


> Cats would dominate the world IF they didn't sleep 18-20 hours a day!



That sounds dominant to me.


----------



## CPProp

Time flies when I throw my clock out the window


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Just release the album already.


----------



## CleverBomb

I just want to be able to aim the camera.


----------



## spookytwigg

This is some goddamned expensive weather.


----------



## MattB

Hi Internet, could you please stop recommending me things you think I might like?


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Let the eagles fly.


----------



## MattB

Wow I'm bored, that nap was a bad idea.


----------



## CleverBomb

The third dessert pizza has been served.


----------



## spookytwigg

Well now I want dessert pizza.


----------



## CleverBomb

There were four dessert pizzas served that day: Mango/guava, chocolate/strawberry, banana/caramel, and cocoanut/caramel.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Why is word acting up?


----------



## spookytwigg

Chinese food is the best food.


----------



## x0emnem0x

spookytwigg said:


> Chinese food is the best food.



Amen! I could not agree more. Wait, yes I can.


----------



## CleverBomb

I've got a few loose ends to tie up here.


----------



## spookytwigg

Desperately need to people the world in my head.


----------



## CPProp

Had a good pasting today  wall paper hanging always gets the better of me.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Riding a horse looks more dangerous than it seems.


----------



## spiritangel

soooooooooooooooo tired


----------



## MattB

There are no sasquatch in my forest, for good or for ill.


----------



## CleverBomb

It's ok so far, I think -- but I haven't looked.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Forty six hundred thousand ways of posting.


----------



## MattB

(I just traveled back in time to 2015 to fix something completely unrelated, and I'm writing this post for kicks.)

What I meant to say was ALL IS WELL, NOTHING TO SEE HERE FOLKS.


----------



## CleverBomb

Schnauzers gotta schnauze.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

It's time to fix the mistake.


----------



## spookytwigg

Time for team meat!


----------



## CleverBomb

...but I never thought they'd put me in the 

GOON SQUAD!


----------



## CPProp

There must be a reason for everything, now just need to find out what it is


----------



## biggirlsrock

I really LOVE Cat's Photo of the Week!!!

http://www.catay.com/weekly.asp


----------



## spookytwigg

5AM is well past bedtime.


----------



## MattB

No Ma'am, I am most certainly not a pirate.


----------



## spookytwigg

Quiz addiction intensifying!


----------



## CleverBomb

As well you should.


----------



## Victoria08

I was typing something meaningful...but 'Gangsta's Paradise' just started playing on my iPod and i've lost all ability to concentrate on anything but this song (because it's amazing, obviously).


----------



## spookytwigg

We call her the b-word from the c-ward... Or was it the c-word from the b-ward?


----------



## Rojodi

I pick up flowers Monday, not the 14th.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Stop making fun of Bruce Jenner


----------



## fat hiker

Schnauzers gotta play; at least, ours does!


----------



## MattB

These new earbuds are way too bassy, and these pretzels are making me thirsty.


----------



## CleverBomb

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included so I had to buy them again.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

What kind of pickup line was that?


----------



## spookytwigg

Spiderman is coming home!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

spookytwigg said:


> Spiderman is coming home!



It's about bloody time.


----------



## MattB

Oh, the dreary life of the Bootblack...


----------



## Victoria08

Just had a 10 minute discussion on the correct way to put jam and clotted cream on a scone...serious business indeed!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I see all of these beautiful ladies and I wish I am one of them. Gender dysphoria really sucks


----------



## MattB

My best friends are the ones that leave me alone.


----------



## CleverBomb

Ok, so he didn't ditch the car in the tunnel under the airport because it was a vehicle-borne IED, he ran away from it because he was evading pursuit by police helicopters (it's a LAX thing) -- I really should be thinking horses, not zebras.


----------



## Rojodi

I'm so glad no NY state legislators are dumb enough to try and outlaw the wearing of yoga pants in public


----------



## MattB

Celsius, meet fahrenheit...fahrenheit, meet celsius...and both of you can bugger off.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I saw a UFO in GTA Online today


----------



## MattB

I'm working on an app that blocks birthday notifications from Facebook.


----------



## CleverBomb

I'm pleasantly (and genuinely) surprised that a keyboard built for a 9-year-old Samsung "tablet" computer actually works properly with a recently-made Samsung tablet.


----------



## ODFFA

Don't mind me, imaginary James Corden, I'm just here for the wonderfully luxurious cuddles.


----------



## Rojodi

Narwhals, Narwhals
Swimming in the ocean
Causing a commotion
Coz they are so awesome


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I feel so liberated today


----------



## CleverBomb

Lions and tigers only in Kenya.


----------



## Madame_Cee

If women are called "widows" and men are "widowers," why don't we say that men are "widowered" instead of "widowed" I wonder?


----------



## ODFFA

Those Maleficent feels.


----------



## ClashCityRocker

Speaking of mountains, I myself and yearning for a swift return to the hills of Beverly. (actually, the adjacent basin of Downtown LA)


----------



## CleverBomb

Fortunately, he never learned that the "E" in IKEA stands for "edible".


----------



## CPProp

The wind blew the candle out and its to dark to find a torch.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I'm a television presenter from Birmingham, not Bear fucking Grylls.


----------



## MattB

We have ways to make you stop talking.


----------



## CleverBomb

I wanna ride my llama from Peru to Texarkana.


----------



## fat hiker

The melting snow, the brown dirt, the bare trees; will winter start to melt into spring?


----------



## biggirlsrock

I'd like to kick the shit out of that fucking groundhog for predicting 6 more weeks of winter!!!


----------



## MattB

biggirlsrock said:


> I'd like to kick the shit out of that fucking groundhog for predicting 6 more weeks of winter!!!



I'll hold him down...


----------



## CleverBomb

I don't know if that's a wisp of smoke coming from my irony meter, or whether there's something in my eyes.


----------



## spiritangel

I still keep hoping it is just a bad dream that your not really gone


----------



## CleverBomb

I am at a loss for words, other than to say that I'm at a loss for words.


----------



## MattB

I didn't think it was possible for this box to be emptier.


----------



## ODFFA

"I can be wrong like this for the rest of my life and I really like it."


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Happy International Women's Day


----------



## Victoria08

Job application has been sent and an interview is being set up....fingers crossed!!


----------



## spiritangel

a few RAK's sent, would be more but some people do not have their addys (even hidden) on their wishlists :/


----------



## Iannathedriveress

Bring Back Clarkson


----------



## MattB

I would comment on that particular subject, but I need to check with my barista first.


----------



## CleverBomb

So that's where that monologue about intersectionality came from.


----------



## Rojodi

I find it funny that the white person in front of me received a #RaceTogether on his cup but neither the Asian woman behind me or I did.


----------



## MattB

The word of the day is "pamplemousse".


----------



## MattB

The heavens opened and hamburgers rained from the sky, and it was good.


----------



## CPProp

The re interment of Richard III to be undertaken by a skeleton crew


----------



## CleverBomb

I can dig it.


----------



## ODFFA

"Yes, and let the drinks be great, Lord God, and the sex be impeccable and also the adventure be adventurous; amen."


----------



## CPProp

Once or twice Ive actually been mistaken for being a human


----------



## MattB

I just spent 2.5 hours compressing my bottom end.


----------



## MattB

Another long night of doing music, and this pretty much sums up how I feel...


----------



## ODFFA




----------



## CleverBomb

Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world -- she took the midnight train going anywhere.
Just a city boy, born and raised in South Detroit -- he took the midnight train going anywhere.

Together, they fight crime!


----------



## MattB

That asparagus is performing as expected.


----------



## CleverBomb

Don't forget you can use the fruit to build deals.


----------



## ODFFA

I can’t believe you blame me for just wanting a more positive _final_ resolution.


----------



## rellis10

I prepared myself to move on, for better or worse. I'm glad things ended up better but at that time I wanted to move on.


----------



## MattB

What a great Saturday, let's do it again tomorrow!


----------



## MattB

It is way too late to be making decisions on this mix...


----------



## Madame_Cee

Broccoli has an IQ of 2.


----------



## MattB

Not much of a Lounge, is it?


----------



## CleverBomb

It's easy if I don't need to talk.


----------



## CPProp

I wish I had a knighthood, it would keep me head warm in bed


----------



## MattB

Yes, sock-quality is key.


----------



## JolieRonde

Just met the sexiest bus driver ever


----------



## Rojodi

It's not political correctness when a Native American says r*dskin is pejorative


----------



## JolieRonde

i hate sundays


----------



## CPProp

If its bean coffee  what is it now?


----------



## CleverBomb

Your contact will be standing next to the art gallery's back stairs, holding a can of ginger ale -- if he gives you a cigarette, but does not know any men with shaved heads, stand by and await further instructions.


----------



## CPProp

Think its time to invent night shoes with LED headlights in the toes.


----------



## CleverBomb

Of course this coffee tastes like dirt -- it was ground this morning.


----------



## Madame_Cee

Dodge Ram... the only vehicle you avoid to hit head on.
Aspire... it just really hopes to become a car.
Probe... must've been a medical examiner for a colonoscopy who named it.
Gremlin... need I say more?


----------



## CleverBomb

I always thought "DODGE" was a great bit of advice to put on the front of a truck that was coming at you.


----------



## CPProp

If a road runner dashes all over your face is this a bad case of acne


----------



## Madame_Cee

Never thought of it that way, but I suppose I can see the point of putting both on the name of a vehicle.  It wouldn't make sense to Ram a Dodge, right?


----------



## MattB

I could sure go for watching some paint dry.


----------



## Rojodi

If you don't want to complain and whine, then don't order 8 Frappachinos at Starbucks after seeing the man before you order 4


----------



## BriannaBombshell

This dog won't stop barking, or echoing.


----------



## MattB

My equipment detects zero activity here...


----------



## MattB

MattB said:


> My equipment detects zero activity here...



...even less now!


----------



## x0emnem0x

The thing about pain is that it demands to be felt.


----------



## CleverBomb

I'll have the tomato weasel bisque.


----------



## Rojodi

Harriet Tubman should not replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill: She should be on the $10 with Sequoyah on the $20!


----------



## MattB

Happy Birthday to the profile with nine names!


----------



## CurvyLolita

Bono is still sexy &#10084;&#65039;


----------



## CPProp

I appear to be attracted by the pull of gravity


----------



## MattB

I'll say it again, you don't got rhythm.


----------



## Victoria08

Oh that awkward moment when you want to ask some questions but you're afraid to hear the answers.


----------



## Rojodi

FIFA no longer has a Blatter infection!


----------



## CleverBomb

Quantum pork foam.


----------



## Rojodi

Sometimes, you just need a bologna, ham, and Genoa salami sub


----------



## Ohio Lady

Decisions, Decisions! Do I wear a blue night gown or a pink silk one?


----------



## MattB

OD'd on ice cream, and it was good...


----------



## Ohio Lady

Out of all days for there to be Thunderstorms, does it really have to be tomorrow?


----------



## ODFFA

I must decipher this conundrum!


----------



## CleverBomb

They tried to save the world, and very nearly did.


----------



## ODFFA

You're in my thoughts and I hope you have someone / people to support _you_ right now, too.


----------



## MattB

Amazon.ca "Free Super Saver Shipping" means your package is being delivered by two Voyageurs in a canoe, save for time required for a portage.


----------



## JolieRonde

The weather is too hot for the season, 26 C* at 8 am , hate that


----------



## Ohio Lady

Suggested vacation with all the peace and quiet you need ~ Mars only a 1 way trip.


----------



## ODFFA

This dream will materialise, because it has already started materialising!


----------



## MattB

The canoe showed up!!


----------



## Ohio Lady

Who stole Mr. Sunshine? I want him back.


----------



## Rojodi

Someone sneaked in organic tomatoes into my lunch salad. Anyone cold, because right now, I'm sweating like I just ran a half-marathon.


----------



## Victoria08

This weather is crazy - way too hot right now!


----------



## biggirlsrock

Can't we just start hockey season NOW???


----------



## CAMellie

Nipplebots, transform and perk out!


----------



## Victoria08

Waking up to a yellow sky, a red sun, and ash falling from the sky is really not a nice thing to experience. (Pretty sure all of B.C is on fire right now btw)


----------



## CPProp

Watching some one fitting a screw lamp into a bayonet socket is what I call light entertainment


----------



## MattB

Do NOT feed the house masochist.


----------



## ODFFA

And you're _sure_ the devil needs another advocate?


----------



## dwesterny

Hmm my cat is capable of vomiting while running at full speed across the entire living room, fascinating!


----------



## biggirlsrock

I was serious about starting hockey season NOW!!!


----------



## biggirlsrock

This [email protected]#$in' heat!!!


----------



## Ohio Lady

They never invented the mammogram for big boobed women


----------



## dwesterny

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRaLpHoZA8E"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRaLpHoZA8E[/ame]


----------



## CleverBomb

And if the ground's not cold, everything is gonna burn (we'll all take turns -- I'll get mine, too).


----------



## Ohio Lady

The machine updates the harmful weather today.


----------



## bbwbud

Ohio Lady said:


> They never invented the mammogram for big boobed women


 

I volunteer to perform the exam myself. And it'll be a lot more fun than the mammogram.


----------



## CleverBomb

It only seems weird the first time.


----------



## biggirlsrock

THIS....is my 1000th post!!!!!


----------



## CleverBomb

Tonight I'm going to party like it's sixteen years ago.


----------



## MattB

I don't think anyone is working today.


----------



## Rojodi

All praises to the Rainmaker: We freaking need it!


----------



## MattB

I just sneezed during "Dust In The Wind".


----------



## dwesterny

MattB said:


> I just sneezed during "Dust In The Wind".



Must have been the dust.


----------



## MattB

My "On Demand" channel suggests that since I just watched The Lost Boys, I may want to watch The Lost Boys.


----------



## dwesterny

Cleaning lady is coming over tomorrow, I better start cleaning up now.


----------



## biggirlsrock

FUCK...$160 ticket for doing 55 in a 35 MPH zone!


----------



## MsBrightside

The people have spoken: "_Little Women_ would be a lot better if it had more light saber action."


----------



## Xyantha Reborn

I crave for hair "so glossy it might blind a bitch".


----------



## Rojodi

MsBrightside said:


> The people have spoken: "_Little Women_ would be a lot better if it had more light saber action."



Mashup!

_Little Women: Attack of the Clones _


----------



## ODFFA

I will let neither one of your drunk asses spoil this day for me.


----------



## Rojodi

Erotic fiction or nerdy thriller or Geeked up fantasy, what should NaNoWriMo be this year


----------



## MsBrightside

Native Texan: "Today is sweater weather!" 

(today's forecast: sunny and high of 85 degrees)


----------



## dwesterny

This bread is so old I'm surprised the picture on the bag isn't growing mold.


----------



## Wolfie

I was abandoning the sinking ship of coherency.


----------



## MsBrightside

So you want to be a ninja or a turtle for Halloween, but not a Ninja Turtle...interesting.


----------



## CleverBomb

Bring on the snuggle!


----------



## valente.nava.9

I inherited the earth.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## dwesterny

Weather forecast is calling for earthquakes, stock up on bottled water and paper towels. 

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk


----------



## CleverBomb

I had to put my shirt back on.


----------



## CPProp

Only through caution to the wind when its blowing from behind


----------



## CleverBomb

Mole' is a terrific sauce for chicken but a lousy fashion accessory.


----------



## MsBrightside

Saw this on a sign while driving through town last night:

"I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around."


----------



## CPProp

Go out in the rain, your skins water proof


----------



## Iannathedriveress

They finally have an IKEA where I live.


----------



## CPProp

If I did not have a fear of confined spaces Id be claustrophobic


----------



## MattB

No one answer!


----------



## Ohio Lady

That blown out light bulb won't go out.


----------



## MsBrightside

The headless horseman is not nearly as terrifying as people say, although he _is_ a bit irritating: he keeps complaining that his clothes are itchy.


----------



## MattB

I demand to be entertained!


----------



## Ohio Lady

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.


----------



## CleverBomb

In honor of Cyber Monday, I offer a belated traditional cyber greeting: 

A/S/L/Pics?


----------



## swamptoad

syntax error:
abort, retry, ignore?


----------



## Snow Angel

Boy I have seen some crazy drivers today.


----------



## MattB

I just switched to my iPad, do my posts look smaller?


----------



## CleverBomb

She wanted to be anywhere except anywhere like here.


----------



## swamptoad

The dust bunnies seem to be angrier than usual.


----------



## Snow Angel

Some people just know how to push my buttons to give me a headache


----------



## Snow Angel

I will be so happy when the road construction work is finished.


----------



## CleverBomb

The Gidgets are my favorite.


----------



## swamptoad

We need more examples of onomatopoeia followed by a hyperbole.


----------



## MattB

I barked a billion times.


----------



## swamptoad

I treed up the wrong bark 
when I was up a paddle without a river


----------



## CleverBomb

Onomatopoeia should really be spelled like it sounds.


----------



## swamptoad

I bet you they won't play this song on the radio,
I bet you they won't play this new $%^& song;
It's not that it's %$(* or #$*&^&* controversial
It's just that the @*%$ing words are awfully strong.


----------



## swamptoad

This sound like music to my ears.


----------



## CleverBomb

That's not how this works -- that's now how any of this works.


----------



## swamptoad

There's dog hair, _everywhere_!


----------



## Snow Angel

Only at Wal-Mart you can walk out and leave stuff behind and call them to let them know you will be in the next day to pick it up and they have already put it back on the floor.


----------



## swamptoad

I am going to attempt to write a run on sentence that will exceed a certain number of letters and meanwhile seem quite pointless to the reader but I think you are doing rather fine and check it out the sentence seems to be quite long already and why don't we just finish it with an exclamation mark!


----------



## MattB

I don't Bookface often, but right now I am live blogging Star Wars on there...


----------



## MattB

Okay, I feigned outrage when Aunt Beru was killed and gave up.


----------



## bellybob

swamptoad said:


> The dust bunnies seem to be angrier than usual.


 
Don't know about that but, the pocket fuzz is pretty pissed right now...


----------



## bellybob

Being pissed off is better than on.....


----------



## bellybob

We know a chain is as strong as it's weakest link but,
How long is a rope????


----------



## bellybob

Why do you need a "hot water heater" if the water is already hot.?


----------



## swamptoad

"And were off!!! ..like a turd of hurtles .....I mean a herd of turtles!" :doh:


----------



## bellybob

Don't force anything, use a bigger hammer...


----------



## bellybob

Who's doing all the Hoot and hollering??? I am.....
.


----------



## swamptoad

_A wise old owl lived in an oak
The more he saw the less he spoke
The less he spoke the more he heard.
Why can't we all be like that wise old bird?_https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Wise_Old_Owl#cite_note-Opie1951-1


----------



## bellybob

Even the "Wise old Owl" is not exempt from the bite of the love bird... 

View attachment Passion-Compassion .jpg


----------



## swamptoad

This is a completely random sentence that was in no way generated from some spamming robot of the interwebz.


----------



## bellybob

One person says " the world is all screwed up".... But, another person jumps right in and says, " No there is nothing wrong with the world, it's the people in the world that is screwed up".


----------



## swamptoad

bellybob said:


> One person says " the world is all screwed up".... But, another person jumps right in and says, " No there is nothing wrong with the world, it's the people in the world that is screwed up".



One screw says to another screw: "This world is peopled up!" :doh:


----------



## bellybob

swamptoad said:


> One screw says to another screw: "This world is peopled up!" :doh:


 
Yea, I wish the screws and people would get along, instead of doing it to each other..


----------



## bellybob

The wine bottle says, "I've been screwed", "right up the cork"..  

View attachment Redneck Cork Screw.jpg


----------



## swamptoad

nailed it!!!! errr...screwed again! :doh:


----------



## Snow Angel

Oh my where did all these loose screws come from!!!


----------



## bellybob

Snow Angel said:


> Oh my where did all these loose screws come from!!!


 
Mommy.....


----------



## MattB

I've taken to yelling "SPOILER ALERT!" in any conversation.


----------



## dwesterny

MattB said:


> I've taken to yelling "SPOILER ALERT!" in any conversation.



Well great. Now next time I talk to you I know exactly whats gonna happen.

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk


----------



## CleverBomb

It rained a few days ago and they just dropped the price by $100,000 -- coincidence, or a bad roof?


----------



## CPProp

Just installed two, 2-stroke weasel in my motorboat its now a lot faster than a single 4-stroke weasel, but takes two hands.


----------



## bellybob

CPProp said:


> Just installed two, 2-stroke weasel in my motorboat its now a lot faster than a single 4-stroke weasel, but takes two hands.


 
Plus a fuel mixture. You do have your hands full !!!!!


----------



## CleverBomb

Adjusting the weasel linkage to synchronize the carbs is a chore.


----------



## swamptoad

And so the crocheted pizza shoe meandered down the back alleyway to meet up with the petrified lizard antler in the land of fluffy cloud poop.


----------



## x0emnem0x

A big f*ck you to my immune system, you piece of crap.


----------



## CPProp

Why do I have to Karaoke, at his age oke should be able to walk by himself


----------



## Rojodi

Yes, it's true: The best story ideas come to me when I'm not near a pen and paper


----------



## swamptoad

Its time to smile at least for a while.


----------



## CleverBomb

CleverBomb said:


> Adjusting the weasel linkage to synchronize the carbs is a chore.





swamptoad said:


> And so the crocheted pizza shoe meandered down the back alleyway to meet up with the petrified lizard antler in the land of fluffy cloud poop.


Timing is everything.

(Check the timestamps of these two posts. Good catch, ST!)


----------



## swamptoad

CleverBomb said:


> Timing is everything.
> 
> (Check the timestamps of these two posts. Good catch, ST!)




I saw that. lol!


----------



## CleverBomb

The fortune cookie didn't contain one.


----------



## swamptoad

I enjoy listening to music through headphones.


----------



## CPProp

When Im run down I just get a rewind.


----------



## Victoria08

Someone needs to develop a sheet mask for fat chicks - one that covers their face _and_ chin(s).


----------



## swamptoad

I'm only going to write this one sentence for now but I might come back and write another one for later.


----------



## bellybob

Do you know what UR ??????

A bolt.!!!!!!! 

View attachment UR Bolts.jpg


----------



## Rojodi

Oh no! The female minister is here, and she's still looking to convert me.....


To be a tea drinker


----------



## CleverBomb

I've been insufficiently random lately.


----------



## bellybob

I have been so specifically random lately..


----------



## FreeThinker

Save your fork, Duke, there's pie.


----------



## bellybob

WELL !!!!!!!!! That's a deep subject for shallow minds......


----------



## MattB

I must be in the front row!


----------



## Timberwolf

This is totally nuts.


----------



## CleverBomb

My cat has bulimia, and my dog's an enabler.


----------



## FreeThinker

*o FROG BLAST THE VENT COREo!*




.


----------



## CleverBomb

You can have any kind of a home you want. Why, you can even get stucco! Oh, how you can get stucco.


----------



## MattB

Today, all day, I will be raising awareness.


----------



## balletguy

I should be sleeping.


----------



## MattB

I'm hopping in the virtual lifeboat and rowing away.


----------



## CPProp

Ive just finished knitting a cardinal wolsey, it should keep me warm this winter


----------



## CleverBomb

I hope the wall buried behind the wall is still standing.


----------



## CleverBomb

I can see my house from here!


----------



## Sunshine_Fette

If I keep coughing, my chest might explode


----------



## CPProp

When in Rome do as the Romans do  invade Great Britain


----------



## FreeThinker

Mendoza's been hit!


----------



## CPProp

Diminished responsibility, when your partner has been on a diet.


----------



## Rojodi

That story would have been so wrong to write


----------



## BigIzzy

We're takin' on water Captain Schnitzel!!


----------



## CleverBomb

And left to my own devices, I probably would.


----------



## FreeThinker

Still and all, though, eh?


----------



## MaxArden

Buffalo balls...


----------



## BigIzzy

HOLY CRAP, is that grandma on the nude beach?!


----------



## Xyantha Reborn

Men wearing crazy socks with a conservative suit is pure defiance and i love it.


----------



## CleverBomb

The Sodom and Gomorrah Show has everything you need for your complete entertainment and instruction.


----------



## BigIzzy

Nothing better than a good kinky spanking!


----------



## CleverBomb

Think about it seriously -- do you want to be rich?


----------



## FreeThinker

But...what about my crystal ball?


----------



## CleverBomb

Have you got it -- do you get it; if so, how often -- which do you choose, the hard or soft option?


----------



## CPProp

Someone has just stolen the peal from my orange  I think they are taking the pith


----------



## MattB

*loud noises!!*


----------



## CleverBomb

Go West!

Yes, my last several posts to this thread have been Pet Shop Boys lyrics.


----------



## MattB

*I Noticed That*


----------



## Xyantha Reborn

No - you noticed that RIGHT NOW!


----------



## Rojodi

I learned great-grandfather Szuba prefered Dziadek and great-grandfather Mackowiak liked Dziadzi


----------



## CleverBomb

We'll make great pets.


----------



## CleverBomb

Oh -- you want snuggles!


----------



## Xyantha Reborn

I'll never know the answer to "whose a good boy!?!?" ...


----------



## deegee

Without love, I am nothing for I am love itself.

:bow:


----------



## CleverBomb

Come out and fight like a dog, you vile rodent!


----------



## CPProp

Medical dot to dot, Joining the spots up on someone with chicken pox


----------



## spiritangel

it's been forever ........


----------



## CPProp

Ill-fitting toenails are a medieval torture.


----------



## CleverBomb

Look, I appreciate your enthusiasm in volunteering to clean up the cat puke, but still... yuck.


----------



## CPProp

Its a bit convoluted but straight forward.


----------



## Rojodi

Sometimes looking up from the Word document can be inspirational :shocked:


----------



## CleverBomb

The foundation will receive a slap-shot from the Hockey Stick of God; ideally, the rest of the house will go along for the ride.


----------



## CPProp

Requesting a big Mac from the top of a pair of steps is a tall order?


----------



## Rojodi

"I learned the true meaning of the word Redskin from Bill O'Reilly. He says it honors Indians."


----------



## Rojodi

Obfuscation is the wrong way to win an argument and a tell that you're losing.


----------



## CleverBomb

Those goalposts won't move themselves, you know.


----------



## MattB

Today I will be raising #Awareness all day, won't you join me?


----------



## CleverBomb

I have more to say than will fit into a single sentence.


----------



## MattB

"Bored-rage" is building, time to do something.


----------



## Xyantha Reborn

MattB said:


> "Bored-rage" is building, time to do something.




You, sir, are a kindred spirit! Finally someone else who feels that!


----------



## MattB

The worst is that I start pacing while trying to figure out what to do. Too hot for music.


----------



## Xyantha Reborn

"Nah you've got bigger balls than any guy around" is the nicest compliment I've ever gotten!


----------



## DianaSSBBW

Have you ever felt broken


----------



## CleverBomb

Have you never been mellow?


----------



## DianaSSBBW

CleverBomb said:


> Have you never been mellow?



[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IFQZyxxyyM[/ame]


----------



## DianaSSBBW

Be on the lookout for coming events; They cast their shadows beforehand.


----------



## Rojodi

Never get into a social media debate with a Belieber: They typically ask you "Who was Leonard Skinnard?"


----------



## CleverBomb

It's a mustache bidet! 

(this)


----------



## Rojodi

At my age, the only S&M I have is "Spaghetti and Meatballs".


----------



## CPProp

Food for thought, occupies


----------



## Rojodi

How come there are no 12 Step programs for bibliophiles?


----------



## CleverBomb

There's a good series of self-help books about that.


----------



## CPProp

Does Magna Carta mean nothing to you? Did she die in vain? That brave Hungarian peasant girl who forced King John to sign the pledge at Runnymede and close the boozers at half past ten? Is all this to be forgotten?


----------



## Rojodi

Why are they called condoms and not "Love Gloves" or "Tapper Wrappers"?


----------



## ODFFA

"How do you even have any friends on that high horse?"


----------



## Rojodi

US National soccer teams' change jerseys are black. Why can't we get ones that are "Sunrise Orange" and "Sunset Magenta"?


----------



## nitewriter

It was a dark and stormy knight, he was off his medication.


----------



## CPProp

Once youve gone past the camping site, its in the past tents


----------



## Rojodi

CPProp said:


> Once youve gone past the camping site, its in the past tents



For the bad pun! 

View attachment YellowCard.jpg


----------



## CPProp

Think Ive had my bio degradable rubbish bags to long, they have degraded before I can use them all


----------



## DianaSSBBW

Be patient: in time, even an egg will walk.


----------



## FluffyButterfly80

"We've all done things to survivw. There are such sins at my back, it would kill me to turn around."-Ethan Chandler, Penny Dreadful


----------



## ODFFA

"I gasped like a victorian lady who'd been told her doilies were shit."

Sent from my GT-I9500 using Tapatalk


----------



## Timberwolf

It's always nice to have a towel at hand.


----------



## CleverBomb

This is my Dwight song / My "I like Ike" song....

(Stolen from someone on Twitter).


----------



## Victoria08

Yeah...you still make me laugh.


----------



## CPProp

Its been pandemonium looking after a panda with a headache


----------



## snuggletiger

I wonder how feasible off grid living is


----------



## Leem

I'm going crazy want to come along?


----------



## DianaSSBBW

snuggletiger said:


> I wonder how feasible off grid living is



I know a couple that does here in PA, but collects EVERYTHING!

http://www.post-gazette.com/local/s...ive-totally-off-the-grid/stories/201211010327

I think it is "MORE" feasible in warmer weather places.


----------



## bigmac

snuggletiger said:


> I wonder how feasible off grid living is



Giving up the grid doesn't simplify your life -- it makes it much more complicated.


----------



## DianaSSBBW

Leem said:


> I'm going crazy want to come along?



I think I already arrived...

Hope your day gets better!


----------



## DianaSSBBW

bigmac said:


> Giving up the grid doesn't simplify your life -- it makes it much more complicated.



That depends..
Pick someplace tropical and you don't have to chop fire wood for heat in the winter.


----------



## CleverBomb

We are not the Pretty People, we're just like the rest of the tourists.


----------



## DianaSSBBW

And just when I thought I was going to have a great day!


----------



## rellis10

So much for trying to make a joke... :doh:


----------



## CleverBomb

DianaSSBBW said:


> That depends..
> Pick someplace tropical and you don't have to chop fire wood for heat in the winter.


I've never thrown my back out shoveling sunshine.


----------



## DianaSSBBW

CleverBomb said:


> I've never thrown my back out shoveling sunshine.



I must admit, you have made an excellent point.


----------



## Leem

"The woods are lovely dark and deep
But I have miles to go before I sleep."-Frost

Just walking my dog late at night along the edge of the woods and thought of this line, no snow yet but it's coming.


----------



## Leem

Sorry double post


----------



## DianaSSBBW

He had a beared face and a little round belly, that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly!


----------



## AmyJo1976

It was getting dark, and we weren’t there yet.


----------



## rellis10

What's the point...


----------



## AmyJo1976

I really want to go to work, but I am too sick to drive.


----------



## DianaSSBBW

If you are more fortunate than others, it is better to build a bigger table than a taller fence.


----------



## AmyJo1976

If Purple People Eaters are real… where do they find purple people to eat?


----------



## CPProp

If it werent for irony everything would be creased


----------



## AmyJo1976

I am counting my calories, yet I really want dessert.


----------



## CleverBomb

Well, that explains a lot.


----------



## DianaSSBBW

Well, eight days and counting.


----------



## CPProp

Went Fly-fishing today  didnt catch a single fly


----------



## DianaSSBBW

Once again we start with a blank canvas.


----------



## AmyJo1976

Sometimes, all you need to do is completely make an ass of yourself and laugh it off to realize that life isn’t so bad after all.


----------



## rellis10

Is it compulsory for someone in your position to speak to everybody like they're a criminal and you're the prosecution?


----------



## ODFFA

From now on in my life, this will forever be known as Vindication Day!


----------



## Tad

Or we could just do everything back-assward and wonder why it doesnt work out so well  you know, standard operating procedure.


----------



## fat hiker

It's snowing, the software's missing, and why would rain be cheery? The term begins...


----------



## Tad

fat hiker said:


> It's snowing, the software's missing, and why would rain be cheery? The term begins...



Knock out a 'they' and a 'and' and you have a free-form haiku (as in 17 syllables, but not a 5-7-5 pattern)


----------



## rellis10

Did a cat attack me in the night? What the hell happened to me!?


----------



## DianaSSBBW

Oh, the places you'll go!


----------



## Tad

One thumb, one thumb, drumming on a drum.


----------



## CPProp

They must have thought I was a right dummy when I asked for a gottle of geer.


----------



## DianaSSBBW

January is way to long


----------



## ODFFA

"Keyes?! As in Keyes to your _vagina, _Bob?_"_


----------



## AmyJo1976

Is it free?


----------



## Tad

January doesn't have nearly enough chocolate.


----------



## rellis10

Open for business, closed for life.


----------



## DianaSSBBW

So great and yet so sad.


----------



## swamptoad

The night was calm and serene and then the neighborhood cats began fighting.


----------



## DianaSSBBW

Glad that your heart is still beating.


----------



## Snow Angel

Oh what strange weather we have!!!!!


----------



## swamptoad

Don't make love by the garden gate, because even if love is blind, the neighbors ain't.


----------



## ODFFA

I will make sure you spend the rest of your pitiable existence regretting the things you said to her.


----------



## CleverBomb

Somebody's got to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us.

- J. Garcia


----------



## swamptoad

"Good morning!" exclaimed the gentleman typing away on his keyboard.


----------



## Leem

Life is like a box of chocolates 
You never know what your going to get - Forrest Gump


----------



## DianaSSBBW

The eARTh without ART is just EH!


----------



## AmyJo1976

The earth is like art


----------



## rellis10

Is that how this company works? Someone bloody tell me something!


----------



## DianaSSBBW

Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly


----------



## AmyJo1976

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.


----------



## DianaSSBBW

Sometimes a tongue with no bones, can hit harder than a fist.


----------



## AmyJo1976

Where do random thoughts come from?


----------



## DianaSSBBW

Can we please have this order to go.


----------



## CleverBomb

Can we use Russian Space Facebook?


----------



## Tad

I'll push the build once you've checked it in GIT.


----------



## Leem

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake
The only other sound's the sweep 
of easy wind and downy flake.

Robert Frost


----------



## AmyJo1976

That makes way too much sense.


----------



## DianaSSBBW

Cheers to all the people who can change their mind when presented with information that contradicts their beliefs.


----------



## AmyJo1976

Open-mindedness can be of great personal benefit.


----------



## DianaSSBBW

Follow your own sunset


----------



## AmyJo1976

Let's run through the sprinklers!


----------



## CleverBomb

Don't lick that -- we don't know where you've been!


----------



## AmyJo1976

When life gives you lemons, you exchange them at the store for something more edible.


----------



## nitewriter

Herman put his best foot forward and the other one in his mouth.


----------



## Leem

nitewriter said:


> Herman put his best foot forward and the other one in his mouth.



Sounds like me

Thank god it's Friday


----------



## LumpySmile

The computer may have beaten me at chess, but not at kickboxing.


----------



## ODFFA

Congratulations, I now have 0 empathy for you, as you have always had 0 for me.


----------



## AmyJo1976

What are some good reasons to ride a polar bear to work?


----------



## nitewriter

It's Thursday! It's bring your Polar Bear to work day!


----------



## AmyJo1976

nitewriter said:


> It's Thursday! It's bring your Polar Bear to work day!


 
LMFAO! nice one


----------



## DianaSSBBW

I really need to snap out of this mood!


----------



## AmyJo1976

Change your mind!


----------



## AmyJo1976

Friday always puts me in a better mood!


----------



## CPProp

What ever happened to greenshield stamps?


----------



## LumpySmile

If you can't see the Milky Way on a dark night, you have too many neighbors.


----------



## AmyJo1976

A nice hot shower feel so refreshing in the morning!


----------



## DianaSSBBW

One party down and one party to go!


----------



## CleverBomb

Party before country -- get your drink on before you go down to the hoedown!


----------



## AmyJo1976

I'm afraid I'll be in a chocolate coma by tonight!


----------



## DianaSSBBW

Don't let your limitations overshadow your talents.


----------



## Tracii

Some are wise some are otherwise.


----------



## CleverBomb

There's no barking in Snuggles!


----------



## Leem

I' m picking up what you 're putting down.


----------



## Kristal

The sequence can be understood as any of three grammatically-correct sequences, each with at least three discrete sentences, by adding punctuation:

That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is.
That that is, is that that is. Not is not. Is that it? It is.
That that is, is that that is not. Is not "is that" it? It is.


----------



## ODFFA

Grammargasm!


----------



## Maddog

Tracii said:


> Some are wise some are otherwise.



Lol, good one.


----------



## CPProp

My horse has just auditioned for a new horseplay called Canterbury tails


----------



## Kristal

They've got casserole dishes on sale over'ta Walmart.


----------



## CleverBomb

Why problem make when you no problem have you don't want to make?


----------



## AmyJo1976

CleverBomb said:


> Why problem make when you no problem have you don't want to make?


 
For some reason I want to read that in a Yoda voice lol!


----------



## nitewriter

Clever, Are you not?


----------



## ODFFA

"Really? Does my belly sound like wood to you?"


----------



## DianaSSBBW

We create ourselves as we go


----------



## AmyJo1976

DianaSSBBW said:


> We create ourselves as we go


 
We certainly do...nom nom:eat2: lol!


----------



## AmyJo1976

I feel like I've been here before...


----------



## DianaSSBBW

Indeed it is Tuesday, one day before hump day!


----------



## Kristal

I feel like I have never been here before....

Sent from my A571VL using Tapatalk


----------



## rellis10

I'd rather watch The Man With The Deadly Legs...


----------



## CPProp

Flies always sound bigger in the dark.


----------



## Leem

Bees always look bigger closer to you


----------



## CleverBomb

This device can do two things.


----------



## LumpySmile

Heater in the morning, AC in the afternoon... Must be springtime.


----------



## fat hiker

CPProp said:


> Flies always sound bigger in the dark.



I saw a variant on this recently:

If you think you are too small to make any difference, then you have never spent a night in a tent with a mosquito.


----------



## DianaSSBBW

If only I had a nickel for every time you said something like that!


----------



## Rojodi

It's after 11 PM, I am wide awake, I have the work laptop working, and I'm out of Dr Pepper!


----------



## LumpySmile

So krunked up I can't hoedown!

Not sure what that means... Someone wrote it on a noteboard at work


----------



## CleverBomb

"Yay puppies!" he exclaimed, as what he'd otherwise have said would be far too grim for a Saturday night.


----------



## DianaSSBBW

You know your microwave food it too hot when it just melted the plastic fork!


----------



## rellis10

Do I suck THAT badly at explaining things or are you just incapable of understanding a thing I say? I'm really dumbfounded at this point.


----------



## CPProp

I saw a welk at the weekend wearing a shell suit.


----------



## rellis10

Please don't stay away for another 2 years :blush:


----------



## biggirlsrock

I woke up today, which is better than the alternative!!!


----------



## Rojodi

You know a thunderclap is loud when it wakes up both the Progeny and tuxedo cat; they sleep so hard it's as if they're dead.


----------



## CleverBomb

It's been a while, and it may be a while longer.


----------



## ODFFA

I am going to make one final attempt at penetrating your thick skull with this exceedingly complex information: 
I AM
*NOT* 
GETTING INTO A CAR
WITH A SEVERE ALCOHOLIC
AT THE WHEEL.


----------



## CPProp

Ive got a digital camera, its on the end of my finger


----------



## Rojodi

Short stories for children 9-14 pays more than those for adults.


----------



## ODFFA

Peter Kay, you treacherous little shit! :sad:


----------



## DragonFly

If I wanted to eat breakfast I would get out of bed before 1:00 pm, I am a brunch person... brunch.


----------



## ODFFA

God, I hope the closure hasn't been ruined.


----------



## rellis10

Don't worry, it hasn't. Not at all.


----------



## CPProp

I wonder if they celebrate Easter on Christmas Island and Christmas on Easter Island?.


----------



## AuntHen

It reads like fantasy fiction.


----------



## DragonFly

What in the hell is that noise?


----------



## CPProp

I tried brain storming but all I achieved was wind.


----------



## Mamie Jennings

This is not good day for working, I want to sleep.


----------



## Jeannie

Those guys are so over-rated.


----------



## AuntHen

Sometimes it be that way.


----------



## MattB

Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.


----------



## ODFFA

I have been waiting on this for _decades, _and it was every bit as immaculate as I'd always dreamed.


----------



## rellis10

I wish I knew what to say, I never do anymore. What would I even be looking for if I did?


----------



## CPProp

My boss is doing more than 20 MPH over the limit  hes an over speed governor


----------



## Lastminute.Tom

sometimes the hottest thing you can do is be honest


----------



## CPProp

Caterpillar with wind has an early flying lesson


----------



## Tad

What I wouldn't do for a good coffee shop nearby right now!


----------



## CPProp

Going on the gastric bypass takes a bit longer but its usually a clear run


----------



## rellis10

Ever been so stressed/anxious that your brain goes full circle and you actually end up in a zen-calm auto-pilot mode of 'fuck it, gimme your worst'?


----------



## swamptoad

I'm not over there, I'm over here.


----------



## Tad

Spackle in her hair is a surprisingly good look.


----------



## DragonFly

Go ahead drag the box that is what I am going to do


----------



## ODFFA

Um, yeah... if you could be done with your excessive tantrum by tomorrow, uterus, that'd be great.


----------



## AuntHen

Life is very complex.


----------



## Snow Angel

Tick-tock, drip-drop ...are the sounds that I hear around me.


----------



## ODFFA

I'd have so much peace over this if I could just know that I'm not hated


----------



## rellis10

You're never hated, never.


----------



## MattB

There are 99 of you watching The Lounge right now.


----------



## Rojodi

Nerds working on apps at Starbucks are too easily distracted by hard nipples, especially when the work they're doing is frustratingly annoying.


----------



## MattB

The boards are currently robot-free, thank goodness.


----------



## CPProp

Just encounted an ill wind blowing no good, so I gave it a ballon


----------



## swamptoad

My brain is sleepy but my heart is wide awake.


----------



## MattB

This Is One Completely Random Sentence Can Anyone Explain To Me Why?


----------



## DragonFly

The coffin shaped mirror looks great over my table.


----------



## Fuzzy

The pickled sausage I just bought isn't pickled.


----------



## CPProp

Why when you thing of a bit of hot stuff, Deep heat spray comes to mind


----------



## MattB

Renfield, you have betrayed me.


----------



## CPProp

Oh the magical & medicinal properties of a Cup of Yorkshire gold.


----------



## CPProp

Feathers dusters make me sneeze


----------



## DragonFly

A tall cowboy is a leather duster makes me weak in the knees.


----------



## CPProp

There is a new sign down our road advertising speed bumps on checking them out I found them to be asphalt not Methamphetamine.


----------



## CPProp

Its hot, wet and comes with or without ..... you can't beat a cup of tea


----------



## ODFFA

Aaaaand there's relapse #1, confirmed.


----------



## MattB

I shall serve no fries, before their time.


----------



## CPProp

I only write with a Queenglish accent when I’m tired


----------



## nitewriter

Four Score and seven beers ago I woke up next to an albino Rhino.


----------



## ODFFA

Secret's out, family fight impending... brace for impact.


----------



## ODFFA

Intervention #2 went ok. Whew.


----------



## blackry

There were white out conditions in the town; subsequently, the roads were impassable.


----------



## swamptoad

There's the horses and there's the stallions... trampling green onions; 
trampling the scallions.


----------



## lovelydaisy

You don't even know me you just know what you like to believe.


----------



## ODFFA

The only time I like the word "junkie" is when they say it on Emmerdale


----------



## CPProp

A unicycle is wheelie fun - a bicycle is wheelie, wheelie fun – you decide on a tricycle


----------



## squeezablysoft

This thread reminded me of a mostly unrelated thing I just posted.


----------



## CPProp

Elves always do their RAM’s before going out, because they believe in elf and safety


----------



## MattB

Have I mentioned how much I love the mute button?


----------



## George

Omg chocolate covered pretzels are awesome


----------



## Tracii

Some are wise, some are otherwise


----------



## CPProp

If I had the time, I’d not be late


----------



## nitewriter

Four score and seventy beers ago our forefathers went into rehab.


----------



## LumpySmile

"Well-Known Member"???? How did my member get to be so well known without me noticing?


----------



## nitewriter

Without you noticing.......A) You are a Nudist or B) You require the services of an Optometrist.


----------



## CPProp

Polyunsaturates are water proof parrots?


----------



## nitewriter

Smithers! you failed every one of your courses! As a result we are placing you in the Witless Rejection Program


----------



## Rotwang

Those refried beans at dinner made me so gassy I hope I get the window down quick because this is our first date.


----------



## swamptoad

His calamitous wit was forthcoming, notwithstanding the absurdity of a boisterous remark made by a scrupulous and jovial five year old child.


----------



## CPProp

Is blowing up car tyres and inflation fettish?


----------



## HUGEisElegant

The neck is unbolted, all the hardware has been stripped off, Ziploc bagged and labeled, now what am I going to make for dinner??? ...


----------



## CPProp

Campanology is appealing but only with bells whiskey


----------



## CPProp

Everyone should have a force majeure clause in their employment contact in case they can’t get into work due to unforeseen stuffing incidents.


----------



## ODFFA

If you can't see why criticising someone for their PTSD symptoms -- _while _they're in the middle of experiencing said symptoms -- is a dick move, then I have nothing more to say to you.


----------



## C Side BBW Lover

"But you ARE, Blanche! --You ARE in a wheelchair!"


----------



## CPProp

The bench mark is what you get when you sit on it and the paints still wet.


----------



## HUGEisElegant

Ugh! I have to empty out the charcoal ashes from the BBQ...


----------



## CPProp

It’s a good job my feet know where I’m going, as my head doesn’t


----------



## LumpySmile

She didn't say it to be a bitch, she's telling you the truth. She's looking out for you, man. Do NOT ignore her. She can't love you back, man. Don't try put her in a situation like that. Don't be the asshole. It's just a Feabie crush. It'll pass. 

But I know. Talking to her makes our heart SING.



Frikking voices in my head


----------



## CPProp

The odds were stacked against me so I countered with the evens


----------



## Gilinutah

Wish I could see the bra from the very first thread post that made her boobs look so good


----------



## CPProp

This gyroscope keeps me on an even keel


----------



## loonerman

Rue the day? Who talks pike that?


----------



## loonerman

Ugh...*like* that?


----------



## CPProp

Satellite navigation could be compulsory for gravy boats


----------



## ODFFA

I can't believe this is actually happening ^_^


----------



## CPProp

Christmas is coming I need to stuff the goose, now where’s me turkey?.


----------



## squeezablysoft

(I just typed "I" and let autocomplete do the rest lol)
I think it's anyone's place to say everyone should get just what they want with their father and their children.


----------



## littlefairywren

I wish summer was over.


----------



## squeezablysoft

You don't have to be a cop to the Millenials.
I have no idea where my autocorrect got this lol.


----------



## HUGEisElegant

Holy crap this sounds awesome!


----------



## squeezablysoft

Today is the day after Christmas eve of American idol and the last decade of the world series.


----------



## HUGEisElegant

That rug really tied the room together, did it not?


----------



## nitewriter

You have the right to remain Stupid. Anything you say will have Police laughing their a$$eS off!


----------



## HUGEisElegant

(As my grandmother always used to say)...

"Well, if you're walkin' to yourself, at least you know you're talkin' with someone intelligent!" 

(I miss my grandma. )


----------



## Rojodi

Nurses who work for an insurance company can hurry naps along.


----------



## squeezablysoft

Fat man with an easy way to get a job that pays them to live in hotels and restaurants.

Lol, I just gave autocorrect the word "fat" and it basically came back with this story: 
https://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/threads/525-by-agouderia-ssbhm-xwg-bbw-dining.82203/


----------



## HUGEisElegant

I hope I receive a message to confirm for tomorrow!


----------



## CPProp

*I may missed the boat, but always catch the ferry*


----------



## ODFFA

Perhaps soon I will let the cat out of the bag...


----------



## ODFFA

I know he's trying to ruin me, but I won't give him the satisfaction.


----------



## Funtastic curves

I recall him Singing..... I can't get no satisfaction .... while looking for the cat.


----------



## op user

I wouldn't mind wearing my socks right now but I am not sure I enough I want to get up and get them.


----------



## littlefairywren

Where the heck have you gone?


----------



## Funtastic curves

The color of the day is blue, so I guess I should wear green instead.


----------



## stevita

I have never seen an episode of Witcher but I like this Jaskier fellow and I just spent all morning reading fanfic about him getting chubby


----------



## rockhound225

Dear old friends, remember Navarro.


----------



## Funtastic curves

In the heat of the night I wondered off the trail and found a train I ran a mile to see it fly


----------



## CPProp

Winding my tea more than usual, could be going stir crazy


----------



## Funtastic curves

Deciding on what I really want can be a pain but trying to use taradiddle in a sentence is worse.


----------



## CPProp

It was a shock to the pelican when it received a big bill, as compensation the spider knitted it a pair of webbed feet.


----------



## littlefairywren

I should become a hermit.


----------



## CPProp

If you smoking whilst wearing a herring bone suit, you’ll smell of kippers


----------



## ODFFA

My body is currently made up of 52% water and 48% PTSD


----------



## Funtastic curves

They seemed like silly emotions when compared to the enormity of his task, and yet, she didn't think she could survive without them.


----------



## CPProp

The wind farm on yonder hill just blew away


----------



## Funtastic curves

I was blown away by the high winds down by the yellow brick road.


----------



## CPProp

Hay fever is nothing to be sneezed at.


----------



## Funtastic curves

I have an ache in my ring finger this is a sad feeling.


----------



## Barrett

Don't think that we don't know


----------



## Funtastic curves

You do know that I know you know thst i know


----------



## CPProp

You can’t beat a good cup of alchemy to turn the day from grey to yellow


----------



## ODFFA

It's worth it just to get the documents signed, but, god, I cannot 
W A I T
for him to leave.


----------



## Funtastic curves

I think that finding rainbows and unicorns are worth millions of smiles and cotton candy kisses


----------



## Sonic Purity

Long ago, in the mists of the past millennium, Bonkwollier Wots was an alt.pinecone.


----------



## Funtastic curves

We can go to the moon we can fly past Mars we can ride to Jupiter just the same.


----------



## squeezablysoft

A garden full of garbage and Cabbage Patch Dolls, those little dolls that know all our secrets.


----------



## littlefairywren

Bad things really do happen in threes. Why the fourth?


----------



## Dayeme35

Wolfman's got Nards!!!!


----------



## AuntHen

I burnt my onion rings


----------



## Fuzzy

Seen on a tshirt today, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except Bears. Bears will kill you."


----------



## MattB

I've spent 8 days listening to audiobooks this year.


----------



## CPProp

Wearing or swimming in knitted swimwear is not recommended


----------



## Fuzzy

You'll need to have this fish in your ear.


----------



## penguin

I’m not listening to Vogon poetry again.


----------



## CPProp

I think my stuffed sock mask will become the 21st century version of the 17th century beaked masks


----------



## MattB

Amazon is sold out of penny farthings.


----------



## CPProp

Can remember when you got 3d back on an empty Corona bottle, now you get the oxford Astra Zeneca vaccine.


----------



## MattB

Isn't it amazing how Hallmark can crap out the exact same movie 20 times a year?


----------



## littlefairywren

I'd happily be knocked off by a drop bear today.


----------



## MattB

I'm just spitballing here, but if vampires did exist would it not make sense they would prefer undeveloped, densely populated countries where they could easily feed with impunity?


----------



## AuntHen

I'm sick of the snow already


----------



## AuntHen

Why are air horns so funny?


----------



## MattB

Patch from Days of our Lives is in this movie, and yes...I remember Patch.


----------



## CPProp

Witches need to be careful not to fly off the handle.


----------



## CPProp

A logarithm is the lumberjack’s method of contraception.


----------



## MattB

Guess who just sold the apples campaign?


----------



## Fuzzy

I thought you were a Build-A-Bear


----------



## AuntHen

How could I have forgotten how funny Simon Pegg is !?!


----------



## MattB

I seem to have over filled the glasses!


----------



## Fuzzy

I erased it from your smeggin' memory!


----------



## littlefairywren

Put your glasses on, Kimberly!


----------



## DazzlingAnna

now, a glass of wine.


----------



## littlefairywren

DazzlingAnna said:


> now, a glass of wine.


I'd join you, but a couple of mouthfuls and I'm off giggling with the pixies


----------



## DazzlingAnna

littlefairywren said:


> I'd join you, but a couple of mouthfuls and I'm off giggling with the pixies


small glass then


----------



## DazzlingAnna

I definitely should sleep.


----------



## littlefairywren

Dude!


----------



## MattB

Restaurants that make bad pizza should be fined by the National Pizza Association, an organization founded by me five minutes ago.


----------



## DazzlingAnna

MattB said:


> Restaurants that make bad pizza should be fined by the National Pizza Association, an organization founded by me five minutes ago.


Think big - make it international!


----------



## MattB

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Galactic Pizza Federation!


----------



## CPProp

Exit signs, They’re on the way out


----------



## AuntHen

Is this a dance or a bloody circus!?!


----------



## NZ Mountain Man

If there is a gateway to a dimension that my fantasy of being squashed endlessly by vast proportion woman I will die trying to find it.


----------



## Lori Ann

Where the hell is my do-right man?!


----------



## littlefairywren

Lori Ann said:


> Where the hell is my do-right man?!


My sentiments exactly, Lori Ann.


----------



## littlefairywren

My antenna has gone up.


----------



## CPProp

I notice I was missed of the New year’s honours list again this year.


----------



## DazzlingAnna

I love the balance between sweet and salty.


----------



## SSBHM

Which way did they go?


----------



## littlefairywren

I keep checking.


----------



## CPProp

I’m wearing golf socks, I have a hole in one.


----------



## SSBHM

I'm hungry!


----------



## MattB

If you don't have the menstrual urine of a great ape onhand, are you really a serious sasquatch hunter?


----------



## AuntHen

She will not be pigeonholed!


----------



## littlefairywren

I smell a bush fire


----------



## AuntHen

littlefairywren said:


> I smell a bush fire


I sure hope not!!!


----------



## SSBHM

We'll just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings, let's get something to eat in the mean time.


----------



## littlefairywren

AuntHen said:


> I sure hope not!!!


Especially after last year's horror.


----------



## CPProp

I’ve rode a camel but never rhododendron


----------



## SSBHM

CPProp said:


> I’ve rode a camel but never rhododendron



lol, good one!


----------



## CPProp

Sometimes it’s better to stop arguing with people and simply let them be wrong.


----------



## AuntHen

If you want to know how truly fat a tall woman is, ask her to sit down.


----------



## littlefairywren

Melatonin makes me feel ridiculous.


----------



## SSBHM

That's music to my ears!


----------



## MattB

I pronounce "meme" as "maim".


----------



## SSBHM

I can't possibly eat all that, but I'll try!


----------



## littlefairywren

I'm not a robot!


----------



## MattB

In many countries it's considered a compliment to loudly suck noodles, but apparently it's not appreciated around here.


----------



## SSBHM

Let's work to end the un-civil war together.


----------



## littlefairywren

Peek-a-boo!!!


----------



## jrose123

The scale broke!


----------



## AuntHen

Please take your sexual objectification elsewhere.


----------



## littlefairywren

I wonder what peacock tastes like?


----------



## DazzlingAnna

*Pigeons* are gentle and smart and have complex social relationships.


----------



## CPProp

Was the crucifixion of Jesus a Pilate error?


----------



## jrose123

Someone needs to make a sweet potato chip with bbq seasoning.


----------



## SSBHM

How about making organic sweet potato and organic regular potato chips in a variety of seasonings, as well as melted ice cream dips!


----------



## littlefairywren

I'm waiting and I have a bra on!


----------



## JaydedJen

I need sleep, but also want to read more!


----------



## littlefairywren

A glass of Moscato. Stat!


----------



## DazzlingAnna

... oh sorry, I was on mute.. 

(classic)


----------



## MattB

We are supposed to get 5-10cms of snow today which, translated into Canadian, means we are either getting 2cms or 20cms.


----------



## SSBHM

Where are you, I was just there?


----------



## DazzlingAnna

Your order will be delivered tomorrow.


----------



## AmyJo1976

Your delivery was attempted today


----------



## MattB

People don't smell like they used to, has anyone else noticed that?


----------



## littlefairywren

What the hey, sir?!


----------



## CPProp

Forward planning, ordering 2 bottles of Tomatin 12 year old single malt in case you run out


----------



## CPProp

It’s your turn now, I had the last laugh


----------



## AuntHen

You usually smell like sweat but right now you smell like grandmas.


----------



## CPProp

I’m getting the hang of this protractor by degrees.


----------



## weetabix

Dolores, have you ever questioned the nature of your reality?


----------



## AuntHen

Up to 10 inches of snow coming Monday afternoon... can't wait


----------



## CPProp

Hop scotch, a game where a beer is followed with a whiskey chaser


----------



## SSBHM

Wish I may, wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight!


----------



## littlefairywren

George is getting more quiet. No peahen.


----------



## AuntHen

Please show a sense of decorum


----------



## littlefairywren

I know, right.


----------



## SSBHM

So this is where all the hot girls are!


----------



## littlefairywren

I'm listening to it now. Can you guess my reaction?


----------



## penguin

I need the kitchen from The Jetsons.


----------



## littlefairywren

Your banana bread is in the oven. It smells SO good!


----------



## CPProp

Peter Pan, flies by wire


----------



## littlefairywren

It's a novella


----------



## MattB

Learn how to invest.


----------



## MattB

Okay 42 you're up, 44 you're on deck.


----------



## SSBHM

It's going, going, gone!


----------



## CPProp

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad


----------



## AuntHen

Let's see Tarzan do that!


----------



## littlefairywren

I am becoming addicted to spoilers.


----------



## MattB

The butler did it.


----------



## CPProp

I’ve always found it difficult to iron lumpy gravy


----------



## DazzlingAnna

Scary when seen upside down.


----------



## AuntHen

Never go with a hippie to a second location.


----------



## littlefairywren

My chair is squeaking.


----------



## AuntHen

Farts are always funny.


----------



## littlefairywren

OH. MY. GOD....at this rate I'm going to need a new chair!


----------



## NZ Mountain Man

ButlerGirl09 said:


> I feel like death...


They say the dead do not feel anything. Death can be quite boring.


----------



## DazzlingAnna

Oh, D AEAR!


----------



## littlefairywren

Lots of smothering.


----------



## CPProp

Planning meals in advance, now that's some food forethought


----------



## AuntHen

There are no words.


----------



## rockhound225

"She takes care of food going into the baby, I take care of what comes out."


----------



## littlefairywren

Breathe.


----------



## AuntHen

Lucky her.


----------



## littlefairywren

I'm off to solve a problem.


----------



## DazzlingAnna

Where do all these feathers come from?


----------



## littlefairywren

DazzlingAnna said:


> Where do all these feathers come from?


Uh oh!


----------



## MattB

That was one of the hottest peppers I've had, stay tuned for part two tomorrow.


----------



## littlefairywren

The bare necessities of life will come to you
They'll come to you!


----------



## CPProp

Crikey I can’t remember what I came to post


----------



## littlefairywren

Winnie.


----------



## AuntHen

Gee, I'm really sorry your Mom blew up, Ricky...


----------



## MattB

...and to drink, Peru.


----------



## AuntHen

I want my 2 dollars! 🗞


----------



## CPProp

I have Frachtiphobia but I’ll get over it


----------



## littlefairywren

Hmm, thinking of that pizza.


----------



## CPProp

Press the black button to eject


----------



## littlefairywren

My custard tarts have a shelf. ❤


----------



## CPProp

I must be thinking to hard, I’ve developed blisters on my brain


----------



## CPProp

Impressed with my memory foam mattress it remembered I like marmalade on toast for breakfast when in bed.


----------



## littlefairywren

I wish I could see the look on your face.


----------



## AuntHen

Well, it's kinda like table tennis, only with slightly smaller balls.


----------



## MattB

Sometimes, I feel like I'm no more than some company's data.


----------



## DazzlingAnna

The taste is not too bad.


----------



## littlefairywren

Headache number two is looming.


----------



## AuntHen

So she stuffed her face like a champion and there were many a crumb down her bazooms. 
True story


----------



## PhllipP

Don’t be mad because you’re wrong.


----------



## littlefairywren

Your prints will always be on this witch's butt.


----------



## DazzlingAnna

What is the green food?


----------



## DazzlingAnna

If a child gets up at 6 in the morning, they will fall asleep much earlier in the evening, BUT they will get up at 6 in the morning.


----------



## littlefairywren

It's like drinking flowers. Nice!


----------



## CPProp

Packing and cleaning is a pain, but hope the move is a cinch.


----------



## littlefairywren

Now I can stop holding my breath. Again.


----------



## littlefairywren

I've never gotten this wet in my shower!


----------



## AuntHen

You do not know or understand me.


----------



## littlefairywren

Our animals will kill you, and if we're not drought ridden and burning, the floods will fix what's left.


----------



## DazzlingAnna

What a year it has been!


----------



## littlefairywren

Giant flying cockroaches are not my idea of a good time. BUGger off!


----------



## littlefairywren

Daylight saving needs to DIAF.
On the flip side, it's Easter Sunday and that means a tasty treat. ❤


----------



## MattB

What is a "gonk", do you mind telling me what that is?


----------



## DazzlingAnna

If it looks clean, it doesn't mean that it actually IS clean.

edit: spelling


----------



## TheShannan

Why does money go so quickly???


----------



## littlefairywren

OMG, my back.


----------



## AuntHen

Red Alert!!!


----------



## Christopher Hughes

whats this button do?


----------



## BigElectricKat

The sum of the parts is greater than the whole.


----------



## Christopher Hughes

Why ask why?


----------



## AuntHen

There's a very fat pair of pants hanging on the flagpole.


----------



## AuntHen

Any one of these Squidward's can be the real Squidward.


----------



## littlefairywren

I'm looking forward to my surprise.


----------



## Hawaiianhealing

Is anyone living the life they thought back in high school?


----------



## AuntHen

It's been snowing for hours on this fine Spring day


----------



## AuntHen

If you have chickens, you will get their poop on you at the most inconvenient times.


----------



## MattB

Is there a convenient time to be pooped on by a chicken?


----------



## AuntHen

@MattB HA! Well, let's just say it's less inconvenient if I am cleaning their coop or something chicken related in old clothes, expecting to get dirty, etc., than when I actually seem to get it on me.


----------



## CPProp

Being a woodworm is such a boring job


----------



## DazzlingAnna

I won a medal!


----------



## littlefairywren

I was given a death hound and now I can't focus on anything, nor can I stop smiling.


----------



## AuntHen

I am the queen of overthinking


----------



## littlefairywren

AuntHen said:


> I am the queen of overthinking
> 
> View attachment 141814


((((B))))


----------



## CPProp

Electric cars may need a battery back up but they should get you ohm.


----------



## AuntHen

I want pumpkin pie!


----------



## Tad

They found a vein on the first try!


----------



## MattB

Upon reflection, the worst movie I ever saw in the theatres was Twister, second place was Down Periscope.


----------



## DazzlingAnna

You look better than you play - oh, I mean the other way round.


----------



## SSBHM

Read these sentences and now I'm thinking of is Virgo Chickens getting poop on their jeans and winning medals while playing games!


----------



## SSBHM

SSBHM said:


> Read these sentences and now I'm thinking of is Virgo Chickens getting poop on their jeans and winning medals while playing games!



Oh, and I want pumpkin pie too! (With lots and lots of whipped cream!)


----------



## littlefairywren

On my to do list your birthmark is.


----------



## CPProp

If Bees wax how come they are still furry


----------



## DazzlingAnna

My favourite word is free of charge.


----------



## MattB

I, for one, welcome our alien overlords.


----------



## AuntHen

You're my boy, blue!


----------



## AuntHen

I'm pretty sure that cake can solve many problems


----------



## MattB

It's not so great for cleaning windows.


----------



## AuntHen

Like gag me with a spoon!


----------



## PeartyB

Dogs wearing bow ties are the best thing in the world


----------



## DazzlingAnna

Should I cry or should I laugh?!


----------



## littlefairywren

DazzlingAnna said:


> Should I cry or should I laugh?!


----------



## AuntHen

DazzlingAnna said:


> Should I cry or should I laugh?!


 Laugh until you cry


----------



## CPProp

If I eat rabbit instead will it reduce the boredom of eating lettuce and grated carrots in summertime?.


----------



## littlefairywren

Can I have a lick of your ice cream?


----------



## AuntHen

Embrace the obesity!!!!!!


----------



## SSBHM

I'm not fat, yet!


----------



## CPProp

Order of the day - a pint and a packet of crisps


----------



## CPProp

If only I could find a way of delivering fast food into people’s inboxes from where they could down load it on to a plate, I could make a fortune.


----------



## SSBHM

What's for dessert?


----------



## littlefairywren

Prepare yourself for my 1.e4 moves!


----------



## CPProp

Due to pandemic social distancing I need a wide angle lens to get groups in the frame.


----------



## SSBHM

Can you picture this?


----------



## MattB

I have a huge to-do list to finish today, which is why I'm lying on the couch typing this sentence.


----------



## CPProp

There's a bright yellow thing in the sky, what is it?


----------



## littlefairywren

“You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”


----------



## SSBHM

littlefairywren said:


> “You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”



was that meant for me?


----------



## littlefairywren

SSBHM said:


> was that meant for me?


It's actually meant for me.


----------



## littlefairywren

I just got my ass handed to me on a silver platter, so it's back to the drawing board.


----------



## CPProp

I’ve just realised why I’ve not cut the grass to well with a strimmer, I’m right handed and the strimmer I used is left handed


----------



## DazzlingAnna

Don't worry - I only want the food!


----------



## AuntHen

Orange and chocolate should never be a combo


----------



## MattB

I may have a phone, but I'm not obligated to answer calls.


----------



## AuntHen

MattB said:


> I may have a phone, but I'm not obligated to answer calls.


----------



## DazzlingAnna

I don't regret anything.


----------



## SSBHM

How did it get so late?


----------



## MattB

Does anybody else judge a movie by the font used in the opening titles?


----------



## littlefairywren

Every now and then I get a little nudge about how quickly life can change. Focus on what's important, on what's good, and don't waste your time on that which takes from you.


----------



## Barrett

MattB said:


> Does anybody else judge a movie by the font used in the opening titles?


----------



## AuntHen

I'm pretty sure I lost 10 lbs from sweat yesterday and today 🌡☠


----------



## TheShannan

Ready or not, here I come!!!!


----------



## MattB

It's sunny out, but the weather app says it's raining, so let's just go with that.


----------



## MattB

I've never been so scared by a blank canvas.


----------



## CPProp

Being squashed must be depressing


----------



## DazzlingAnna

If a 7 y.o. ask you to play with him a puzzle - it's a trap.


----------



## MattB

May your special day be filled with emblems, tube meat, and arson.


----------



## CPProp

A slipped disc, is usually an F sharp


----------



## AuntHen

I'm not a people person


----------



## MattB

How does one protect themselves against the Lambada virus???


----------



## Joker

MattB said:


> How does one protect themselves against the Lambada virus???


Call in the Nerds


----------



## AuntHen

Hey, you must be the short, depressed kid we ordered.


----------



## SSBHM

Yes we deliver!


----------



## CPProp

Knock once for yes and twice for no


----------



## MattB

I have never been let down by my first love..._*the Sea*_.


----------



## MattB

I always felt I'd make a great gangster, based on my love of Doo-Wop music and my homemade spaghetti sauce.


----------



## MattB

I'm not a doctor, I just play one on the internet.


----------



## Monster

If this reunion gets rained out then I get to eat the $100 of snacks and beer I bought to bring...


----------



## MattB

Take a moment a check how many websites and apps have their claws in you.


----------



## MattB

I don't need it to be the 13th to watch, but yes I'll be watching.


----------



## FuriousGeorge

The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.


----------



## MattB

These word puzzle apps are way easier when you cheat.


----------



## littlefairywren

A coffee table in the hallway, and a fridge in the loungeroom. I feel like I'm living in a Dr Suess book.


----------



## MattB

People are just as stupid as they ever were, it's just everyone has a free bullhorn now.


----------



## BBW1972

At least my crazy train has a nice caboose.


----------



## littlefairywren

If fat is flavour, then I'm f#*king delicious! ❤


----------



## MattB

I can't tell the difference between chi-chi and frou-frou.


----------



## DazzlingAnna

I cannot sleep.


----------



## MattB

The cure for excessive fatigue is more caffeine, who knew?


----------



## SSBHM

Why am I so hungry?


----------



## DazzlingAnna

I voted for myself.


----------



## SSBHM

When do we eat?


----------



## fat hiker

From a buffet manager's point of view, Joel was a black hole!


----------



## SSBHM

Well, sure, I'll have more, if you really want to get rid of it.


----------



## SSBHM

What does "all you care to eat," mean?


----------



## MattB

Stock up on basics.


----------



## DazzlingAnna

In fact, it was a trap.


----------



## SSBHM

I'm so stuffed!


----------



## CPProp

So the NDT can be DPI or MPI, I hate acronyms


----------



## AuntHen

I'm honest to a fault but you were never interested in the truth.


----------



## AuntHen

People who can’t communicate think everything is an argument.


----------



## Rotwang

Like I said last time - it'll never happen again.


----------



## Rotwang

You can stop hitting him --- he's dead.


----------



## BigElectricKat

Get off my face!!!


----------



## AuntHen

It's all part of the Divine Matrix


----------



## CPProp

A hot flame will always melt the wax


----------



## MattB

It blows my mind that Kermit isn't a more popular baby name.


----------



## Joker

So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means? It’s not the end of the world!


----------



## Joker

Seven days without friendship makes one weak.


----------



## AuntHen

I think you lied and I have never understood why.


----------



## AuntHen

What is up with the gas prices all of the sudden... fuuuuuuuuuck?!?!?!


----------



## littlefairywren

I love the rain, but I'm so over it right now.


----------



## SSBHM

When it rains, it pours.


----------



## SSBHM

AuntHen said:


> I think you lied and I have never understood why.


I don't think that dress makes you look fat.


----------



## MattB

Sandwiches Cut Diagonally Taste 34% Better, Experts Say.


----------



## SSBHM

In my expert opinion hot sandwiches topped with gravy taste best.


----------



## MattB

It's Time To Revisit Hot Sandwiches, Expert Says.


----------



## MattB

Picture, if you will, an entire civilization comprised of people who look like Art Garfunkel.


----------



## NZ Mountain Man

Ice Cream is fattening?


----------



## NZ Mountain Man

AuntHen said:


> People who can’t communicate think everything is an argument.


Why would you say that?
Chuckle chuckle


----------



## DazzlingAnna

Even little progress still is progress.


----------



## SSBHM

DazzlingAnna said:


> Even little progress still is progress.



Hey, I gained seven pounds!


----------



## NZ Mountain Man

Seven is a special number. You are in for a great day.


----------



## MattB

Woke up this morning feeling something big is about to happen, and whenever that feeling happens I'm usually wrong.


----------



## Joker

That's no Moon.


----------



## MattB

I don't engage in hyperbole, but sock-folding is a threat to our democracy.


----------



## Donna

Loving you took everything I had; trying not to love you nearly took my life.


----------



## littlefairywren

I could really use some  hugs right now.


----------



## AuntHen

littlefairywren said:


> I could really use some  hugs right now.


(((((((HUGS)))))))


----------



## Donna

Ashes & Embers is a really good name for a rock band.


----------



## MattB

Can you believe it used to be called "The Learning Channel"?


----------



## BigElectricKat

I'm NOT perfect but there is someone out there, perfect for me.


----------



## DazzlingAnna

Other People Don’t Have to Understand Your Path or Why You’ve Chosen to Walk it


----------



## MattB

I'm being solipsistic again.


----------



## Donna

No matter how good you are, no matter how good they are for you, or how good you are for them, nothing will ever be good enough to make them stay if they don’t want to be there.


----------



## NZ Mountain Man

People ask me what star I was born under when it was what Neptune and Saturn behavior at the time that caused my personality.


----------



## MattB

I choose to believe The Simpsons was cancelled 20 years ago.


----------



## littlefairywren

Yeah, because one rain bomb wasn't enough!


----------



## NZ Mountain Man

Oh was the food on the table for everyone?


----------



## Donna

Oh joy, more needles.


----------



## MattB

Going forward, I intend to blame it all on the nights on Broadway.


----------



## SSBHM

Acting is my life.


----------



## ChattyBecca

I will be home probably around this weekend.


----------



## SSBHM

If you're not doing anything, want to do something?


----------



## MattB

My inner circle needs a cleansing and an upgrade.


----------



## Joker

I can't afford new friends because the old ones owe me too much.


----------



## MattB

I don't know who needs to hear this, but it's about to be 2008 again.


----------



## Joker

MattB said:


> I don't know who needs to hear this, but it's about to be 2008 again.


Quit messing with the time continuum Janeway.


----------



## Donna

Why is it, that for some people, the one thing we can’t have is the one thing we need and want the most?


----------



## SSBHM

Just pick up the phone and call.


----------



## Dromond

I did not mean to do that.


----------



## Donna

You know, that's how rumors get started....


----------



## MattB

Buckle up, today is going to get bumpy.


----------



## Donna

If given the choice, always choose the villain over the hero; the hero will sacrifice you for the world, while the villain will sacrifice the world for you.


----------



## Dromond

Leftover pizza is breakfast food.


----------



## kyle

Whiskey is not part of a "balanced breakfast"


----------



## kyle

If you think you can, you're right. If you think you can't, you're right - Henry Ford


----------



## SSBHM

I told you so.


----------



## MattB

Sell that stuff, get into cash.


----------



## Angelette

I'm tired.


----------



## SSBHM

I miss you.


----------



## Dromond

Meh.


----------



## hutti

Just to make a point what will happen if Alan dont pay his gamble debt,with the eye signal of his boos straining his gigantic unreal fat body layerss of fat lard and massive muscles completely tear a part ,like a newspaper his own suite with iron chains suspenders under the jacket,
from the pressure of his monstrously fat and strong body already small office became 2 time smaller,giant masculinity and male odor fulfilled the room,skinny Alan start to shake and piss in the pants from fear,just the fist from monster was so huge fat and solid in the same time,from years working as a bus mechanic before he get job as 
smasher,security bodyguard of this local gangster.whose imense ocean fat roll belly (after belt and suspenders went down from his body ) spreading all over his knees,blocking at first office desk ,where under was scary Alan,as aproaching slowly in his direction 
pushing with a squeak noise the office desk in the small corner of the office near window, mad and horny,Alan was in a trap corner,with no exit,the desk crush and colaps under incredible fat matter ,power from fat mad perv dom gigant


----------



## BigElectricKat

Umm... The title of this thread is "One Completely Random Sentence", *not* One Completely _Rambling_ Sentence". I can understand if you are not a native English speaker, that this might be a tad confusing. But jut by observing the previous posts, you should be able to figure out that what Hutti posted misses the mark by a mile.


----------



## Angelette

My bedroom is so cold that I wish Chris Farley would snuggle with me. :'(


----------



## BigElectricKat

Umm... you know he's passed away, right?


----------



## Angelette

@BigElectricKat But not in my fantasy.


----------



## BigElectricKat

Fair enough @Angelette.


----------



## kyle

Food is better with EXTRA Bacon ... (Bacon egg and cheese biscuit)


----------



## GardensInBrooklyn

You can't polish a turd.


----------



## kyle

If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.


----------



## Dromond

What is it all for?


----------



## Donna

I'm fairly certain you broke me; this may not turn out the way you hoped.


----------



## Sonic Purity

How can someone so fat be spread so thin?


----------



## GardensInBrooklyn

They're as worthless as tits on a boar.


----------



## Joker

GardensInBrooklyn said:


> They're as worthless as tits on a boar.


I used to say that to my card partner when he screwed up.


----------



## GardensInBrooklyn

Joker said:


> I used to say that to my card partner when he screwed up.



Sounds like the perfect application of this sentence


----------



## kyle

But it was on sale!


----------



## kyle

It's too bad that youth is wasted on the young


----------



## kyle

Joker said:


> I used to say that to my card partner when he screwed up.


Cards? I Play. Use to be a tournament Cribbage and Whist player back in the day. Still like to play for fun.


----------



## Joker

kyle said:


> Cards? I Play. Use to be a tournament Cribbage and Whist player back in the day. Still like to play for fun.


Hearts and Spades. My buddy John and I won a few tournaments in the Air Force.


----------



## kyle

Hearts and spades, same thing only different from whist, except you can't call trump and try and control the game JMHO.

You're right, a good partner knows when you lead with a 2 what to do ... lol


----------



## kyle

Darts are another fun one of mine. Played in the Minute Man Dart League for a bit (north shore of Boston) Tactics is my favorite though. Like Cricket only you can "point" the other person.
So if they have 20's open you can keep shooting them and then they need to close them and get 
5 19's or what ever to make up the 20 points.


----------



## kyle

Still comes down to 3 corks (bulls eyes) in the end. But trying to make up 100 points with bulls ... 
Bon chance mon amie


----------



## kyle

Cribbage is my game though. My Dad taught me when I little (He played tournaments in the Navy) Even played "cut throat" teaching me. "That all you got ?" He'd take my points if I didn't count them right. Taught me if they play a 7, they prob. have an 8 or a 6. Play a 2 prob. have a 3 or 4, play a face card, have a 5 or face card. Lesson: Stay out of the runs. (unless you have a fistful and can set them up) 

And where you are on the board matters. How many "counts" does each person have a the end. And NEVER double up on last street. Unless you're behind. (and you have 2 more of the same) lol


----------



## Donna

Your silence speaks volumes more than my babbling verbosity.


----------



## DazzlingAnna

My parents didn't raise a quitter, they raised a procrastinator.


----------



## kyle

Just realized this is a "one completely random sentence" thread, Sorry about going off a Cards and darts tangent. Got carried away there.


----------



## SSBHM

Are you going to eat that?


----------



## Dromond

I know how you feel about me, but I wish you knew how I feel about you.


----------



## aws333

I know you know I know.


----------



## Donna

*Infatuation is a fire: the hotter it burns, the more of you it consumes, and you best beware when it's extinguished because burn scars never fade*.


----------



## bellyman

On my way to work every day, an older guy with a big stomach stands out by the busy street maybe to show off his stomach but definitely watching and sometimes waving at traffic.


----------



## Dromond

Fuel prices are getting worrisome.


----------



## MattB

I am a very serious person, now may I please braid your nose hair?


----------



## Donna

People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. It's up to you to decide.


----------



## Dromond

The longer you live, the more your friends pass away


----------



## Joker

Dromond said:


> The longer you live, the more your friends pass away


Unfortunately I am discovering this now.


----------



## kyle

It's too bad youth is wasted on the young (2nd time)


----------



## Dromond

No one has questioned their beliefs from looking at a meme.


----------



## Tattoocharlie

If it hurts when you do that, don't do that.


----------



## Donna

The secret to fairytales is to believe in them; otherwise they won't come true.


----------



## Donna

Whomever said*, “it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all” was full of cow manure.


*yes, I know who said it, but I was going for a particular vibe. Sue me.


----------



## Dromond

Donna said:


> Whomever said*, “it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all” was full of cow manure.
> 
> 
> *yes, I know who said it, but I was going for a particular vibe. Sue me.



You are SO right.


----------



## Donna

Dromond said:


> You are SO right.


It was your post on FB yesterday that sent me into philosophical mode. So maybe not so random. And there's definitely more I could say on the whole subject about lost love, but I won't today. (((Dro)))


----------



## Donna

this is hit me way hard today
_Healing often means taking responsibility for the role you play in your own suffering._


----------



## kyle

Donna said:


> this is hit me way hard today
> _Healing often means taking responsibility for the role you play in your own suffering._


Good one. Not only physical healing (i.e contact sports, drugs, alcohol, etc.) but mental, emotional, financial, etc.) 

I.E. Should I have stayed the course with a good job and a 401K and ... but NOOO ... had to be a big shot and piss away all the savings on Crypto (didn't, but just a current example) 

Or should I have been more supportive when her kids were into drugs and maxing out her credit cards and stealing her car and, and, ... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (LOL) 

Know what you mean though. Like I said, Good One.


----------



## kyle

Sorry, took another editorial freedom there and went past a sentence.


----------



## Layers

I like the feeling of raw chicken cause it reminds of something I won't mention XD


----------



## Donna

Not so random, but what the hell, I'm feeling saucy: we really need a WTF emoji/emoticon thingy.


----------



## Dromond

Donna said:


> Not so random, but what the hell, I'm feeling saucy: we really need a WTF emoji/emoticon thingy.



I second that emotion. Wow.


----------



## MattB

You can't spell Jollibee without "jolli"...or "bee" for that matter.


----------



## Dromond

It's hot out there.


----------



## littlefairywren

That's not creepy at all.


----------



## Donna

Some things should never be Googled.


----------



## MattB

I don't wanna work, I just want to post on Dims all day.


----------



## Dromond

One year older, one year closer to death.


----------



## SSBHM

Oh, oh, my clothes shrunk again!


----------



## kyle

'Rut 'Row Scooby


----------



## Donna

Not really random, and it's more than one sentence, but I'm feeling saucy. Someone in another thread posted the Arabic proverb: A fat woman is like a blanket on a cold night. This reminded me of another Arabic proverb:_ A woman without a belly is like a sky without stars. _


----------



## kyle

No reason to throw gas on a fire .... Just let it BURN


----------



## MattB

I genuinely dislike weekends.


----------



## Joker

Are you sitting on the F5 button because your ass is refreshing.


----------



## Layers

I had a dream about a fat woman


----------



## MattB

I would like to opt-in to the Random Sentence thread.


----------



## Dromond

Wisdom is overrated.


----------



## Joker

Zero is never the sum of all possibilities.


----------



## Donna

Ferngully, but Chrysta is a nymph and not a fairy, and she hooks up with Zack and things get spicy.


----------



## Angelette

MattB said:


> You can't spell Jollibee without "jolli"...or "bee" for that matter.


 Omg I miss Jollibee! Filam speaking here.


----------



## littlefairywren

Wanna play tonight?


----------



## Angelette

I wish to disappear.


----------



## Dromond

Nevermind. Too depressing.


----------



## Dromond

Chicken McNuggets are solely a vehicle for delivering sauce to your mouth.


----------



## Donna

This is either going to be a brilliant idea, or an overwhelming failure; there is no in between.


----------



## Joker

Donna said:


> This is either going to be a brilliant idea, or an overwhelming failure; there is no in between.


Thank you Yoda.


----------



## MattB

Doctor says I need a back-eotomy.


----------



## kyle

The Opposite of a vasectomy ... Add A Dick to Me (chuckle)


----------



## Donna

kyle said:


> The Opposite of a vasectomy ... Add A Dick to Me (chuckle)


_Are you saying you bat for the other team?_


----------



## kyle

Ah NO. Just a joke.


----------



## Donna

I'm old enough to be his momma, but I still wanna call him 'daddy'.


----------



## MattB

Life is a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book, but there are no do-overs.


----------



## MattB

This back pain has done wonders for taking my mind off my knee pain.


----------



## Joker

Oh take me dark stranger.


----------



## Dromond

MattB said:


> This back pain has done wonders for taking my mind off my knee pain.


I could have written this post.


----------



## Donna

Let my mouth, okay actually my fingers, get away from me today and now I’m afraid I came across like a creeper; never have I wanted to be wrong this much in my life. 🫣


----------



## kyle

So, need to preface this a little. My Dad's variation on "Happy Wife, Happy Life"

"You need to keep the peace, in order to get a piece" 

"And always remember son, that's a 2-way street"


----------



## Joker

A one way street still goes in 2 directions.


----------



## littlefairywren

You're lucky you didn't lose an eye, let alone your finger. Slow down you silly woman!


----------



## MattB

You're right, I literally have nothing better to do.


----------



## Donna

My lack of anger does not reliably indicate a lack of wrong was done to me.


----------



## Dromond

Meh.


----------



## Donna

Something I thought I would never see: an FA Incel.


----------



## kyle

It's the same thing, only different


----------



## Joker

The truth is good, but interesting is better.


----------



## Joker

Of all the thing I have done since I was born, taking life seriously is not one of them.


----------



## Donna

I don't know what's worse: outright rejection or no response at all.


----------



## SSBHM

It only hurts when I laugh.


----------



## DazzlingAnna

Nothing's thin on me except my hair.


----------



## Dromond

I hate life right now.


----------



## JackCivelli

Donna said:


> I don't know what's worse: outright rejection or no response at all.


No response with a read receipt.


----------



## Donna

JackCivelli said:


> No response with a read receipt.



Why you want to break a lady’s heart like that?


----------



## Donna

I think most people settle for what is safe at least once at some point in their lives, but a person who suffers from anxiety or depression will almost always run away from goals, dreams, and new life adventures to avoid the possibility of feeling anything new and somewhat scary. For them it is better to live with the known than face the unknown.


----------



## CPProp

Will an electric car always get you ohm.


----------



## CPProp

Wondering what is the IQ of a smart meter, if its to high I'm not having one.


----------



## Dromond

Never ask, "what next," you might just find out.


----------



## Donna

I don't have enough spoons or Xanax to handle this...


----------



## CPProp

The ice balls in my G & T are melting to quick


----------



## SSBHM

It breaks my heart, sometimes I just can't find words.


----------



## Donna

Swallow enough hurt in silence, and the pain either chokes you or curdles into gut-deep rage.


----------



## ScreamingChicken

Your boos mean nothing to me because I have seen what you cheer for.


----------



## Joker

Beavers. the cause of and cure to all of life's problems.


----------



## MattB

It's time...for a HEIST-OFF!


----------



## MattB

By 2030, all Oscar nominated films will be Lifetime movies.


----------



## Donna

Why do I get the impression that many of these are not as random as implied?


----------



## Dromond

Donna said:


> Why do I get the impression that many of these are not as random as implied?



Raspberry pie.


----------



## Donna

Dromond said:


> Raspberry pie.


Don't look that up on the urban dictionary my friend. Trust me.


----------



## SSBHM

Yum, apple and pecan pie sound good.


----------



## Joker

Donna said:


> Don't look that up on the urban dictionary my friend. Trust me.


The geek/Nerd in me went directly to the small computer. Now I have to do more Urban research.


----------



## redhottie

I have resurected my self......"shes back"


----------



## redhottie

Donna said:


> Don't look that up on the urban dictionary my friend. Trust me.


i want pie...yes its me


----------



## Donna

redhottie said:


> i want pie...yes its me


You don’t want that pie….(hint: it’s no more food than a raspberry beret is clothing. )


----------



## redhottie

Donna said:


> You don’t want that pie….(hint: it’s no more food than a raspberry beret is clothing. )


well dang


----------



## redhottie

We are born We will die it is how we handle the moments between that count. take chances. love. be kind. and if you can make people say damn in a good way if you can.


----------



## Dromond

I'm feeling fine today. How did that happen?


----------



## DazzlingAnna

A partner should make your life better, not more complicated.


----------



## DazzlingAnna

I studied French for 11 years and the only thing I can remember is that I studied French for 11 years.


----------



## Donna

Sometimes I wish life was written in pencil so we could go back and erase it and write parts all over again.


----------



## Dromond

Life is not for the faint of heart.


----------



## CPProp

I really do need to retyre, ones at least 40% worn.


----------



## MattB

I don't understand why more companies don't use vampires as spokespeople, look at what Chocula has done for the breakfast cereal industry.


----------



## MattB

The statement "There's always room for Jell-O!" has not been verified by independent fact-checkers.


----------



## kyle

If it ain't broke, don't fix it


----------



## SSBHM

Did I do that?


----------



## MattB

Actually, Canada is located between Cameroon and Cape Verde.


----------



## redhottie

Don't start no crazy won't be no crap.


----------



## redhottie

redhottie said:


> Don't start no crap won't be no crap.


----------



## redhottie

The plastics still alive they are just seniors citizens now.


----------



## redhottie

understand esimate me this will be fun


----------



## redhottie

Bam and there it is


----------



## MattB

The progression shown by Sepultura from Schizophrenia to Beneath the Remains is staggering.


----------



## Donna

It’s a movie quote, but I’m feeling these words deep in my soul: I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.


----------



## CPProp

Pandrol Clips help to keep you on track


----------



## SSBHM

You had me at hello.


----------



## Eliz

It’s Friday AND a long weekend!


----------



## Donna

More often than not, people who say they’re fine really aren’t.


----------



## SSBHM

No really, I fine I think.


----------



## Dromond

Donna said:


> More often than not, people who say they’re fine really aren’t.


I'm not even saying "I'm fine" anymore.


----------



## SSBHM

Just gotta say, **expletive**, really **expletive**, man, just **expletive** 

(Just quoting a football coach.)


----------



## Angelette

It is so lonely here. No one to cuddle with. :'(


----------



## SSBHM

Angelette said:


> It is so lonely here. No one to cuddle with. :'(


Hugs are sent metaphysically, of course!


----------



## kyle

I don't have a 6 pack ... It's a 4 pack. (Induced by a 12 pack) Fun belly gets in the way


----------



## Colonial Warrior

Angelette said:


> It is so lonely here. No one to cuddle with. :'(


My best hopes you will find someone special soon.


----------



## MattB

Everything comes to an end eventually.


----------



## Donna

With every end, though, comes at least one new beginning, possibly more. _(Yeah, I know, not so random, but it was the first thought that popped in my head after reading Matt's post.)_


----------



## SSBHM

I always know what will happen in the end.


----------



## Angelette

@SSBHM @Colonial Warrior Thank you guys. I appreciate those kind words.


----------



## Angelette

I need more Pink Drink!


----------



## littlefairywren

Please take the hint, because I'm not good at hitting people over the head with my feelings.


----------



## SSBHM

That sort of stings.


----------



## Donna

There’s a difference between someone who wants you and someone who would do anything to keep you; remember that.


----------



## MattB

I would live happily in that radio-only world.


----------



## Angelette

I hope these clothes fit me.


----------



## Eliz

Take it as it comes.


----------



## kyle

" Don't mess with LeRoy Brown, badest man in the Whole Damn Town "


----------



## MattB

Those cereal boxes are strictly ornamental, a design element.


----------



## SSBHM

"Take it eeeeeeeeee eaaaaaaaa zeeeeeeee."


----------



## MattB

A cold front came in last night, and I could literally hear it beat the last of summer out of the air.


----------



## Eliz

MattB said:


> A cold front came in last night, and I could literally hear it beat the last of summer out of the air.


Still waiting for the cool front to move into my neck of the woods!


----------



## SSBHM

Eliz said:


> Still waiting for the cool front to move into my neck of the woods!


Is someone breathing down your neck?


----------



## Angelette

I love cottage cheese in lasagna.


----------



## littlefairywren

Your passive aggressive is showing.


----------



## littlefairywren

Angelette said:


> I love cottage cheese in lasagna.


Yum! I love adding fresh ricotta to mine.


----------



## AmyJo1976

Laundry can wait until tomorrow.


----------



## Donna

Why does everything have to always be so damned complicated?


----------



## SSBHM

Just follow these simple instructions from step 1 to step 9845, but check for changes that may have occurred recently.


----------



## Aqw

Germans and their food are good


----------



## SSBHM

Just follow these simple steps.


----------



## SSBHM

Getting cold out and it stirs up my appetite!


----------



## DazzlingAnna

Omg - Lilli is wearing red lipstick.


----------



## SSBHM

Anybody up for a snack?


----------



## littlefairywren

I'm cooking, but it's not what I'm craving.


----------



## SSBHM

Oh no, not that again!


----------



## kyle

"Some assembly required"


----------



## littlefairywren

Are you sleepin' right now?


----------



## SSBHM

Huh, oh, I was just dozing


----------



## SSBHM

I'm still hungry


----------



## Angelette

Don't read the Twitter thread.


----------



## MattB

The reality is never what you think it is.


----------



## SSBHM

What's your absolute favorite food?


----------



## Donna

“By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.” (Macbeth, Act 4, scene 1)


----------



## Angelette

My objective is to move out and have a man on my bed!


----------



## Angelette

I need to slow down.


----------



## SSBHM

Now, where did I put that?


----------



## James1662

I need to retire.


----------



## CPProp

Life is a bit like the "secret life of a bin liner", you don't know what rubbish someone will fill you with, or when you'll get dumped


----------



## Angelette

Maybe making cookies will cheer me up.


----------



## SSBHM

I need to start baking cookies too! (lots and lots and lots of cookies!)


----------



## Donna

Why didn’t I believe him when he told me he was an asshole?


----------



## CPProp

It's really embarrassing to have wind in the willows


----------



## Angelette

I'm scared to go to work today.


----------



## JackCivelli

Acid reflux is a biiiiiitch


----------



## SSBHM

Now where did I put those leftovers?


----------



## Angelette

Finally free on Friday.


----------



## CPProp

If I retyre will I get more traction or just a pension


----------



## Frogman

I agree it’s unfair your cat was branded a communist, but you should really floss more.


----------



## SSBHM

Oh sure, I can finish that off.


----------



## Angelette

Is this the real life?


----------



## JackCivelli

Angelette said:


> Is this the real life?


No, it’s just fantasy.


----------



## Angelette

Caught in a landslide.


----------



## JackCivelli

Angelette said:


> Caught in a landslide.


No escape from reality.


----------



## Angelette

JackCivelli said:


> No escape from reality.


Open your eyes.


----------



## JackCivelli

Angelette said:


> Open your eyes.


Look up to the skies and seeeeeeeee


----------



## Angelette

JackCivelli said:


> Look up to the skies and seeeeeeeee


I'm just a poor boy. </3


----------



## JackCivelli

Angelette said:


> I'm just a poor boy. </3


I need no sympathy


----------



## Angelette

JackCivelli said:


> I need no sympathy


Because I'm easy come easy go.


----------



## JackCivelli

Will you let me go?
Bismilah! NO! We will not let you go!


----------



## SSBHM

Are you going to eat that?


----------



## Angelette

We're no strangers to looove


----------



## JackCivelli

Angelette said:


> We're no strangers to looove


You know the rules, and so do I-I-I-I!


----------



## Angelette

I can't fix myself.


----------



## Angelette

I am tired.


----------



## Angelette

JackCivelli said:


> You know the rules, and so do I-I-I-I!


A full commitment's what I'm thinking of


----------



## Donna

The irony is delicious.


----------



## JackCivelli

Donna said:


> The irony is delicious.


I didn’t mean to facepalm so hard.


----------



## JackCivelli

Angelette said:


> A full commitment's what I'm thinking of


You wouldn’t get this with any other guy!

By which I mean the part where I left you hanging for a week.


----------



## Angelette

No worries I was busy being a fruit slave.

Iiiii just to want to tell you how I'm feeling.


JackCivelli said:


> You wouldn’t get this with any other guy!
> 
> By which I mean the part where I left you hanging for a week.


----------



## Angelette

I want fried rice!


----------



## Donna

There really needs to be an Urban Dictionary app where I can type in a word or phrase and the definition pops up.


----------

