# Do you think everyone has a shot or finds love?



## FrankWhite333 (Mar 5, 2012)

Wishing waiting wanting... What do you say???


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## BigChaz (Mar 5, 2012)

FrankWhite333 said:


> Wishing waiting wanting... What do you say???



Love does not exist - it is manufactured by the major corporations to move chocolates, cards, and expensive diamonds.

Research these companies and uncover the truth: Microsoft, Halliburton, Goldman Sachs, and Blue Cross Blue Shield.


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## escapist (Mar 5, 2012)

BigChaz may be onto something but before you get to the endless drain on your pocket book you do have to make that connection. My personal opinion is it's a numbers game. Wishing and waiting won't do jack for you. You have to go out and meet as many people as possible, be social and learn how to cultivate real connections. If you don't have a social event as a part of your life that brings the opposite sex frequently around you its time to get out and find a hobby, join a club, or chicken leg's favorite saying, "go to church". Some people call it going to the MEAT MARKET, but its really the MEET Market!


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## escapist (Mar 5, 2012)

2x post....


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## Melian (Mar 5, 2012)

Most people are stupid, ugly, stupid and ugly, etc, so they have a pretty good chance of finding someone. It's the people who are attractive, intelligent and interesting who have a harder time finding the perfect match, just because there are way fewer candidates in their league.


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## NewfieGal (Mar 5, 2012)

Well I for one do believe it exists, there are so many examples around of love how can anyone not believe it is possible... yes some take longer then others to find it but it doesn't mean its any less real... maybe i might be naive to think that seeing as I am 31 and single for a few years but I still feel that someday I will meet or find the person that I was meant to love forever and that will feel the same way about me... keep looking you never know when it might just run into you, waiting is hard but sometimes somethings are worth the weight


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## rellis10 (Mar 5, 2012)

I believe in love... but I don't believe in true love, if that makes sense. I mean that kind of 'there's only one person in the world for you' kind of love, I can't see how out of around 7 billion people on this planet there's only one person I could ever fall in love with. 'Love' is finding someone with the right combination of things you like, and I'm sure there's more than one person out there that matches up for all of us.

I think everyone has a shot at finding it but a lot simply won't, that's just how the world works. Don't meet enough people and you won't find that person, that's it.


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## NewfieGal (Mar 5, 2012)

I don't think that there is only one person you can fall in love with either obviously, I have in been in love before and obviously seeing as I am single now he wasn't the one... but I do believe in true love I have seen many examples of it in my own family... as the old saying goes sometimes ya gotta kiss a lot frogs before you find the prince... if I didn't believe in that kinda love how could I ever believe in monogamy or fidelity... I know I am old fashioned and I am not trying to get anyone to see things my way but I still am hoping to be the one special someone for somebody some day even if there are 7 billion other people in the world lol


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## Tad (Mar 5, 2012)

Personally, I think everyone has a shot at love, in fact many shots. But I don't think that there are any gaurantees, nor a pre-chosen soul-mate lurking just out of sight. In fact, you could get awfully unlucky, life being a statistical thing and all.

Of course, you can influence that. The cost of making a connection with someone is pretty low--sometimes as low as a smile or a minute of your time. The more connections that you make, the more odds you have of things working out. But two big caveats: 
- it is hard to make a connection under false pretenses, so if you are looking for a tumble or only for that big romantic connection, it is probably a lot harder to simply connect with people (kind of putting the cart before the horse, when you think about it).
- it does take work of a sort to connect with people, and for a lot of us it requires a change of habit, to get out and meet more people, join new groups, go new places, etc.

So I guess what I'm saying is, take a pottery class, join a political campaign, take a moment to talk to the staff in your local stores, go to a different bar, check out a karaoke night, go see a local band you've never heard of, volunteer at the food bank, hold doors for people, get a part time job at a coffee shop.......generally expand your circle of people you interact with, and don't just focus on the BBW. The skinny middle-aged woman working next to you at the food bank may have a BBW niece, the guy you talk to at the bar might invite you to a party where you meet the girl of your dreams, and so on.

Basically focus on embracing life, and you might be pleasantly surprised at what embraces you back.

(for the record, I had pretty much no dating record going into my final year of university, when I made an effort to get out and meet more people. I got ridiculously lucky and connected with a young woman in the debating club, and we've been together for over twenty years. It has not always been perfect, but given a chance to go back in time and change things, I sure would not change that!)


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## Surlysomething (Mar 5, 2012)

I don't think all people have a shot. If they make themselves unavailable or unattractive to the opposite sex then their chances are pretty low.

You have to bring something to the table.


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## Zowie (Mar 5, 2012)

Surlysomething said:


> I don't think all people have a shot. If they make themselves unavailable or unattractive to the opposite sex then their chances are pretty low.
> 
> You have to bring something to the table.



This this this. 

Also, be realistic. You probably won't meet the woman of your dreams. You'll meet Ms Good-Enough, and there's NOTHING wrong with that. She'll probably be too good for you anyway.


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## FrankWhite333 (Mar 5, 2012)

Zowie said:


> This this this.
> 
> Also, be realistic. You probably won't meet the woman of your dreams. You'll meet Ms Good-Enough, and there's NOTHING wrong with that. She'll probably be too good for you anyway.



I agree WITH THIS... 


BTW I was asking for everyone personal opinion not advice for me...


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## CastingPearls (Mar 5, 2012)

Surlysomething said:


> I don't think all people have a shot. If they make themselves unavailable or unattractive to the opposite sex then their chances are pretty low.
> 
> You have to bring something to the table.


THIS 

But not only bring something to the table but SHOW UP at the table and not bitch about there's no delivery service. It's rare for someone to fall out of the sky into your arms. As posted upthread--you have to get out there and keep trying.


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## SitiTomato (Mar 5, 2012)

Does everyone find love? No of course not.

There are tons of reasons people never love, spinsters and...man-spinsters exist after all.

People are lucky to find somebody they're in mutual-not-hate with. That's what makes true love so special.


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## FishCharming (Mar 5, 2012)

after a couple shots of tequila it is way easy to find love :happy:


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## Deanna (Mar 5, 2012)

Tad said:


> Basically focus on embracing life, and you might be pleasantly surprised at what embraces you back.
> 
> (for the record, I had pretty much no dating record going into my final year of university, when I made an effort to get out and meet more people. I got ridiculously lucky and connected with a young woman in the debating club, and we've been together for over twenty years. It has not always been perfect, but given a chance to go back in time and change things, I sure would not change that!)



There are no worthy words to describe how much I mutually-not-hate the above, so you get these lame ones instead.


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## penguin (Mar 5, 2012)

I think everyone has the chance at finding love, but not everyone has the ability or desire to make a relationship work.


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## escapist (Mar 6, 2012)

penguin said:


> I think everyone has the chance at finding love, but not everyone has the ability or desire to make a relationship work.



TRUTH! :bow:


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## HDANGEL15 (Mar 6, 2012)

penguin said:


> I think everyone has the chance at finding love, but not everyone has the ability or desire to make a relationship work.



that pretty much describes ME!!! I like alone, more then relationships for the most part...too selfish to work that hard....and more importantly I enjoy my own company. I hated having an *in-law* family, and spending holidays with people I *might* not want to spend long days watching the dreaded football with, and buying presents/receiving them. I love going where I want, when I want. I know how dependent or reclusive I tend to get in a relationship; and prefer having lots and lots of varied relationships in my life....no boundaries for today!!!


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## NewfieGal (Mar 6, 2012)

Zowie said:


> Also, be realistic. You probably won't meet the woman of your dreams. You'll meet Ms Good-Enough, and there's NOTHING wrong with that. She'll probably be too good for you anyway.



While I respect your opinion I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than have somebody consider me "Ms good enough", to me that would feel like I am being settled for, like I am not what you really want but its better then nothing... I am not naive enough to believe in love at first site and I know that not everyone gets a "soul mate" but I still believe in love, guess my ideals might be a reason I am still single I refuse to settle for less then what I think is great


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## Paquito (Mar 6, 2012)

NewfieGal said:


> While I respect your opinion I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than have somebody consider me "Ms good enough", to me that would feel like I am being settled for, like I am not what you really want but its better then nothing... I am not naive enough to believe in love at first site and I know that not everyone gets a "soul mate" but I still believe in love, guess my ideals might be a reason I am still single I refuse to settle for less then what I think is great



I think Zoe was speaking more to being realistic about love. Like I know so many people who have checklists for their "perfect partner" and refuse to consider any other opportunities. But you're likely never going to get that "perfect" person, and that's totally ok. It's not so much about settling and more about having better expectations, in my opinion.


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## willowmoon (Mar 7, 2012)

There's this one phrase that I remember: "Lawyers settle .... lovers don't." I like that. :happy:


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## bigpulve (Mar 7, 2012)

Love isnt getting exactly what you "want", Its that someone who comes along that redefines what you "want"


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## NewfieGal (Mar 7, 2012)

Lots of good thoughts and opinions here, I find myself agreeing and disagreeing and pondering alot of what has been said... Like the last statement I agree and disagree with, yes you may have a picture in your mind of what you want and then you meet someone who totally blows that concept outta your thoughts, that's where change can come in but I think some basic wants can't be over ridden cause that's where common sense comes in...

For example I would prefer a man who is on the bigger side but did fall in love with someone who was skinny(shoulda know better LOL), that is an acceptable compromise to what I "want"

But basic ones like fidelity and trust honesty etc are not something to compromise on at least not for me
Love how many people share their opinions is makes for interesting conversation


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## escapist (Mar 7, 2012)

FrankWhite333 said:


> I agree WITH THIS...
> 
> 
> BTW I was asking for everyone personal opinion not advice for me...



To that I have to say, yeah absolutely. I've found real love many times. I'm not saying it always lasted but in many cases its been something that was felt and shared for years at a time.

Like many people said, if you put yourself out there, and give it a chance it usually happens (especially since most of us are genetically hard wired to believe in this chemical induced trip we call love).


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## Treach (Mar 8, 2012)

Love exists, perfect love does not. Each of us is entitled to experience it if we find it, but by no means is it guaranteed...especially to those content to sit and wait for it to find them.


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## JulieD (Mar 9, 2012)

I think love is tricky. Some people want it so bad, that they will try and turn anything "convenient" into love when it really isn't. Other people are so oblivious to love, that they have no clue that what they are experiencing is it, and they end up never taking full advantage of it. Then there are those who deal with all of the ups and downs that come with love, they end up making themselves numb to it and simply realize that they don't want love, they just want good frequent sex with one partner. Love is one of those things that is hard and easy at the same time...its complicated and simple all wrapped up into one mushy gushy ball of who-knows-what.


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## LeoGibson (Mar 9, 2012)

NewfieGal said:


> While I respect your opinion I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than have somebody consider me "Ms good enough", to me that would feel like I am being settled for, like I am not what you really want but its better then nothing... I am not naive enough to believe in love at first site and I know that not everyone gets a "soul mate" but I still believe in love, guess my ideals might be a reason I am still single I refuse to settle for less then what I think is great



To paraphrase an old Hebrew proverb if memory serves, "Perfect is the enemy of good."


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## vinarian (Mar 10, 2012)

I found love, it was next to waldo


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## topher38 (Mar 16, 2012)

escapist said:


> To that I have to say, yeah absolutely. I've found real love many times. I'm not saying it always lasted but in many cases its been something that was felt and shared for years at a time.
> 
> Like many people said, if you put yourself out there, and give it a chance it usually happens (especially since most of us are genetically hard wired to believe in this chemical induced trip we call love).



Have to agree with this...


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## BigMike (Apr 7, 2012)

I have never found it, nor do I ever expect to.


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## mediaboy (Apr 7, 2012)

I'm gonna go with no & no but jt sure is a lot more fun than masturbation to try!

Love is a game of endurance.

If you've got aspergers, condolences; you're playing on hard mode.

Luckily, I'm just ADHD.


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## topher38 (Apr 12, 2012)

I have to say even if you find "love" just for a short time, it is better than not having it.


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## escapist (Apr 21, 2012)

topher38 said:


> I have to say even if you find "love" just for a short time, it is better than not having it.



Yep, its an old saying,



> From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27, 1850:
> 
> I hold it true, whate'er befall;
> I feel it, when I sorrow most;
> ...



I can think of a lot of media that really showcases this. It's a very popular theme from movies and books. Totally nerdy and silly moment here but I was just watching Krull again, and there is a small part in there were this assassin falls in love with the king she is to kill and is killed by her master for it. Movies really love to use this hope of love to get at us, deep down its something almost everyone can relate to.

On a personal note I've had my heart completely ripped out after 10 years of marriage. It was probably the most traumatic life altering experience anyone can have. Crazy thing is I would, could, and did do it again. There is just nothing like sharing yourself with another and having a connection so deep that it can't really be explained.


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## BigChaz (Apr 21, 2012)

BigMike said:


> I have never found it, nor do I ever expect to.



Why? You ugly or an asshole or something?


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## chicken legs (Apr 21, 2012)

If you are able to love yourself, others will jump on the bandwagon too.


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## Paquito (Apr 21, 2012)

If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen?


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## Diana_Prince245 (Apr 21, 2012)

Paquito said:


> If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen?



Amen, brother!


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## chicken legs (Apr 21, 2012)

Paquito said:


> If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen?



Haha...church


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## djudex (Apr 21, 2012)

chicken legs said:


> Haha...church


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## Goreki (Apr 21, 2012)

Absolutely! Hell, there are some people who find love over and over and over again. All they have to do is wait for the next person who strikes up a conversation, or compliments them to any degree, and presto! They have found THE ONE, a love greater and more magical than they had for any of the previous lucky enough to be dubbed THE ONE. And if THE ONE proves immune to their style of wheedling, manipulative and unrealistic affection, they have a brand new and excruciating heart break to tell the next THE ONE about.

So you can be as big a dickhead as you like and find love. It's all about altitude.


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## samuraiscott (Apr 21, 2012)

I used to think that there was a chance for everyone to be loved and happy, but I am not so sure anymore. I guess time will tell.


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## BigChaz (Apr 21, 2012)

samuraiscott said:


> I used to think that there was a chance for everyone to be loved and happy, but I am not so sure anymore. I guess time will tell.



The safe bet is to not get your hopes up


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## CastingPearls (Apr 21, 2012)

BigChaz said:


> The safe bet is to not get your hopes up


Not give your hopes up and to make better choices on who to give your heart to.


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## BigChaz (Apr 21, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> Not give your hopes up and to make better choices on who to give your heart to.



I'm just playing the negative person in this thread because its annoying to read people say that out of the hundreds of millions of people available...they just dont have a chance. Fuck that noise. You can be the ugliest pig fucker on the planet and get a woman or man at some point.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 21, 2012)

BigChaz said:


> I'm just playing the negative person in this thread because its annoying to read people say that out of the hundreds of millions of people available...they just dont have a chance. Fuck that noise. You can be the ugliest pig fucker on the planet and get a woman or man at some point.


I happen to agree with you.

Seriously, be the person you want to attract and you'll find that person. Love always comes with the possibility of a broken heart, but you (general you) have to decide if it's worth the risk. In spite of....I still think it's worth the risk, but I'm also being realistic saying you're not going to find a fucking diamond while dumpster diving, either. Make better choices and believe in yourself and if you want love, you'll find it. If you sit with your thumb up your ass saying screw that shit, that's exactly what you'll get: shit.


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## BigChaz (Apr 21, 2012)

I sit at home on my computer all day eating cake and browsing OKCupid, PlentyOfFish, and EHarmony and I still haven't met a girl.

What the fuck am I doing wrong? I shower every time I wake up sweaty which is a few times a week I guess and I get haircuts pretty often. 

Whenever i am walking around town, I make eye contact with girls and then look away, but I try to make a meaningful connection, ya know? When I get home, I look in the missed connections on Craigslist and nobody ever fucking posts there asking about me. 

It's fucking bullshit - nobody will ever love me.


edit: I forgot to add, whenever a girl smiles at me, I don't approach her because I dont want to be a creep, so I am definitely a gentleman.


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## chicken legs (Apr 22, 2012)

djudex said:


>




haha


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## escapist (Apr 22, 2012)

BigChaz said:


> edit: I forgot to add, whenever a girl smiles at me, I don't approach her because I dont want to be a creep, so I am definitely a gentleman.



I know your joking but man I know a guy who makes Facebook post like this on a consistent basis. Often he talks about how women would rather cheat on him with a stranger who doesn't care as much about them as he does.  freaky man...just freaky.


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## samuraiscott (Apr 23, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> Not give your hopes up and to make better choices on who to give your heart to.



Choices.........Yes, we could all make better choices. I agree.


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## Deanna (Apr 23, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> Not give your hopes up and to make better choices on who to give your heart to.



I submit the heart should never be given away, ever. Hang on to that asset.


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## samuraiscott (Apr 27, 2012)

Deanna said:


> I submit the heart should never be given away, ever. Hang on to that asset.



Words to live by? IDK.


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## BigChaz (Apr 27, 2012)

Deanna said:


> I submit the heart should never be given away, ever. Hang on to that asset.


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## djudex (Apr 28, 2012)

It's fine, I didn't need those margins anyway.


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## BigChaz (Apr 28, 2012)

djudex said:


> It's fine, I didn't need those margins anyway.



Nobody shrinks Mola Ram.


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