# FFA's?



## EricW90 (Jun 24, 2013)

so there are really girls out there that like fat guys? do you actually find our fatness sexy? this is crazy to me! I am definitely on the fat side; about 6'1 and 260. ive been working out for most of my life, and have big arms, and pecs, but i just cant get rid of my belly and side fat! ive always liked BBWs, but i had no clue some girls also liked fat! if any FFA's would want to chat, i find the idea of a woman being attracted to my fat belly super hot! lol


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## wafflecone (Jun 25, 2013)

Absolutely! While I find myself able to be attracted to all sorts of guys, I really do love a big ol' belly on a man--especially if me and my cooking helped put it there. ;D


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## Amaranthine (Jun 25, 2013)

Not really. Most of the supposed FFAs on here are actually men. And truth be told, we don't even like fat guys. Confusing, yes. No one's really sure why they post here, but it's a compulsion of sorts.


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## EricW90 (Jun 25, 2013)

hahaha i love the sarcasm Amaranthine! that is so much like something I would probably say to a post like this! i know, obvious question, right? it just kinda took me aback to find this i suppose. and Wafflecone, i bet you are a great cook! it would be so hot for any of you sexy women to make me fatter by cooking me all kinds of delicious stuff! haha, but i am curious; why are most of you girls thin yourselves? why dont any of you want to get fat?


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## biglynch (Jun 25, 2013)

Amaranthine said:


> Not really. Most of the supposed FFAs on here are actually men. And truth be told, we don't even like fat guys. Confusing, yes. No one's really sure why they post here, but it's a compulsion of sorts.



SO true. Im not even fat! Im 64 222lbs and between my stints of insanity workouts I do px90.as a warm up. Then I watch 6 hours of Jersey/Geordie shore eat 3 kilos of pure protein, cry and then go find all the girls. 

Now we all know the truth we should stop this madness.


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## tankyguy (Jun 25, 2013)

Amaranthine said:


> Not really. Most of the supposed FFAs on here are actually men.



Well, 99% of the women on the internet are really men. That's just a fact.

More seriously, just from my observation, most of the people into big guys are gay men. Just looking at who is _apparently_ producing and consuming BHM artwork/fiction. Granted maybe my rationale and sampling is flawed. And yeah, maybe a couple pretend to be straight women because that sometimes happens.

Not to say FFAs don't exist; I have no reason to doubt any of the women here on Dims, I've personally met a FFA IRL and other big guys on here are obviously involved with women who love them.

But I think the reality is that FAs vastly outnumber FFAs and the number of large men and women in the world vastly outnumber FAs/FFAs. But I don't really dwell on this. You have to take a "never tell me the odds" attitude if you want to get anywhere in life.


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## Sasquatch! (Jun 25, 2013)

I'm a sociologist pretending to be an FFA pretending to be a BHM. And this isn't even part of a study or anything. This whole site is an amateur dramatics board, where we can practice ludicrous roles.


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## Amaranthine (Jun 25, 2013)

EricW90 said:


> haha, but i am curious; why are most of you girls thin yourselves? why dont any of you want to get fat?



I certainly can't speak for everyone - but the body type I find desirable in a partner doesn't necessarily mean I want it personally. I'm just naturally small and enjoy being so. People already tease me for the amount of food I consume. Were I trying to gain weight, I'd have to eat far past the point where I actually _wanted_ to. Additionally, the contrast is nice. It's also fun to totally defy peoples expectations in regards to the type of partner I choose. 



tankyguy said:


> Just looking at who is _apparently_ producing and consuming BHM artwork/fiction.



I think you're generally correct here. Most videos featuring a fat guy are produced by largely by gay men. There's a few straight ones. But surely they realize mostly gay men are perving on them. I think stories are...another story, actually. Looking in the Dims library, most of the best BHM/FFA writers are actually women. As for artwork, I can't really comment as I don't have much experience there. Not that I've extensively creeped on the other two categories :blush: 



Sasquatch! said:


> I'm a sociologist pretending to be an FFA pretending to be a BHM. And this isn't even part of a study or anything. This whole site is an amateur dramatics board, where we can practice ludicrous roles.



I'm not sure what to do now that you've outed this. It might be best if everyone drops their FFA/BHM shtick and picks up another role. I'll be the feminist neo-Nazi. And also Flava Flav. 

Choose your roles quickly people!


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## Anjula (Jun 25, 2013)

Amaranthine said:


> Not really. Most of the supposed FFAs on here are actually men. And truth be told, we don't even like fat guys. Confusing, yes. No one's really sure why they post here, but it's a compulsion of sorts.



Finally someone told the truth, thank you!


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## loopytheone (Jun 25, 2013)

I like to think that we make up for what we lack in quantity with the quality of our awesomeness.


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## biglynch (Jun 25, 2013)

I wonder what ratios i'm working with. 1 in a 100? 1 in a 1000? I need a figure to work with over the next week.


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## Librarygirl (Jun 25, 2013)

EricW90 said:


> , but i am curious; why are most of you girls thin yourselves? why dont any of you want to get fat?



I agree with what others have said - much as I am attracted to fat men, I'm naturally quite small and happy that way. It is the contrast that adds to the attraction.

My gripe would be that it seems pretty common for BHMs to prefer BBWs, which leaves us slim FFAs feeling like we have no chance.


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## tankyguy (Jun 25, 2013)

Amaranthine said:


> I'm just naturally small and enjoy being so. People already tease me for the amount of food I consume. Were I trying to gain weight, I'd have to eat far past the point where I actually _wanted_ to.



Personally I think that's awesome. Large or not, guys tend to eat bigger meals than most women. It's not fun when you're having lunch with a girl and all she does is poke at something green that she doesn't really want to be eating.




> Additionally, the contrast is nice. It's also fun to totally defy peoples expectations in regards to the type of partner I choose.



I can see the appeal in freaking out the mundanes.




> I think stories are...another story, actually. Looking in the Dims library, most of the best BHM/FFA writers are actually women.



I suppose it goes with the generally accepted notion that males are more visual when it comes to sexual attraction/arousal and females are more cerebral. That's why every guy should know how to sensually nibble a girl's frontal lobe.


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## biglynch (Jun 25, 2013)

Librarygirl said:


> I agree with what others have said - much as I am attracted to fat men, I'm naturally quite small and happy that way. It is the contrast that adds to the attraction.
> 
> My gripe would be that it seems pretty common for BHMs to prefer BBWs, which leaves us slim FFAs feeling like we have no chance.




AHHH this is a disaster! BHMs and FFAs we sound worse than the pandas. Oh man it would be easier to get the Israelis and the Palestinians to sing the Frog chorus. Im gonna get drunk and try to hump the wind. When I get back this better be all sorted. And nobody put on an ounce or lose a gram unless they want to.


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## Librarygirl (Jun 25, 2013)

biglynch said:


> AHHH this is a disaster! BHMs and FFAs we sound worse than the pandas. Oh man it would be easier to get the Israelis and the Palestinians to sing the Frog chorus. Im gonna get drunk and try to hump the wind. When I get back this better be all sorted. And nobody put on an ounce or lose a gram unless they want to.



 I'll drink to that!

And thank you for making me smile. Feeling a bit bitter today, lol! Meanwhile I shall go to acupuncture tomorrow and hope to emerge feeling zen-like and philosophical about the mysteries of fate and with a bit more of a "Que sera" take on all this! (My goodness that acupuncturist has his work cut out!!!)


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## tankyguy (Jun 25, 2013)

Librarygirl said:


> My gripe would be that it seems pretty common for BHMs to prefer BBWs, which leaves us slim FFAs feeling like we have no chance.



What gave you that notion?
I can only speak for myself but I show no real preference either way. My only concern with pursuing a very large woman would be that of physical compatibility. It would really depend on where she carries her weight.

However, in practice (in person) I tend to not approach thin/athletic-looking women because the chance for rejection seems higher. This is something I'm working on, however. I try to always _be_ approachable to anyone, regardless.

In online dating, I tend to think twice if she lists her interests as 'gym, hiking, rock climbing, etc' and that's all she's got down. These aren't activities I can share with her and to me it seems she's unlikely to be into spending Friday nights eating pizza, watching Disney movies and cuddling.


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## biglynch (Jun 25, 2013)

Librarygirl said:


> I'll drink to that!
> 
> And thank you for making me smile. Feeling a bit bitter today, lol! Meanwhile I shall go to acupuncture tomorrow and hope to emerge feeling zen-like and philosophical about the mysteries of fate and with a bit more of a "Que sera" take on all this! (My goodness that acupuncturist has his work cut out!!!)



No problem, just one of my many services. Enjoy the needley dude, and zen-like stuff.


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## djudex (Jun 25, 2013)

Librarygirl said:


> My gripe would be that it seems pretty common for BHMs to prefer BBWs, which leaves us slim FFAs feeling like we have no chance.



I prefer the slim FFAs myself so now it's just that pesky ocean thing...


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## Librarygirl (Jun 25, 2013)

tankyguy said:


> What gave you that notion?
> I can only speak for myself but I show no real preference either way. My only concern with pursuing a very large woman would be that of physical compatibility. It would really depend on where she carries her weight.
> 
> However, in practice (in person) I tend to not approach thin/athletic-looking women because the chance for rejection seems higher. This is something I'm working on, however. I try to always _be_ approachable to anyone, regardless.
> ...



That's good to hear. I think I was probably being swayed by personal experience - both on here and a recent real life disappointment. It's interesting what you say about not approaching thin women. Whilst I've become more outgoing (at work etc.) in recent years, when it comes to flirting I'm quite shy. I start to wonder if my problem may be that men I'm attracted to have no idea of how I feel - and maybe assume that we won't have the same interests because of the contrast in size.

Rest assured there are some of us out here who are slim, but who do enjoy snacking (cake especially), Disney movies etc. and cuddling and would not in a million years want to go on a hike or take up running!!


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## biglynch (Jun 25, 2013)

Maybe it just me but of the lady chub gropers (better than term FFA?) Ive met and know 90% are on the slim side.


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## agouderia (Jun 25, 2013)

Librarygirl said:


> My gripe would be that it seems pretty common for BHMs to prefer BBWs, which leaves us slim FFAs feeling like we have no chance.



Actually - I would like to contradict you on that one.

In my opinion and experience, most BHM are mainly bhMEN and just as much subject to the prevailing patterns in society which discriminate against big/ger women. Meaning most BHM are no FA's and prefer slim women. 

If BHM are interested in BBW ist mainly because of other factors/common interests - and sometimes even with the uncomfortable indirect dig of 'we're both fat, can't do better in the mating department, why don't we give it a try for lack of other opportunities.'


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## Jabbauk (Jun 25, 2013)

Personally I don't think I have a defininative preference of either larger or slimmer ladies for me they both have their merits  but it would ultimately come down to personality...... That's assuming I actually pluck up he courage to speak to them in the first place:doh:


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## biglynch (Jun 25, 2013)

agouderia said:


> Actually - I would like to contradict you on that one.
> 
> In my opinion and experience, most BHM are mainly bhMEN and just as much subject to the prevailing patterns in society which discriminate against big/ger women. Meaning most BHM are no FA's and prefer slim women.
> 
> *If BHM are interested in BBW ist mainly because of other factors/common interests - and sometimes even with the uncomfortable indirect dig of 'we're both fat, can't do better in the mating department, why don't we give it a try for lack of other opportunities*.'



Anyone want to jump on that grenade?


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## tankyguy (Jun 25, 2013)

Librarygirl said:


> That's good to hear. I think I was probably being swayed by personal experience - both on here and a recent real life disappointment. It's interesting what you say about not approaching thin women. Whilst I've become more outgoing (at work etc.) in recent years, when it comes to flirting I'm quite shy. I start to wonder if my problem may be that men I'm attracted to have no idea of how I feel - and maybe assume that we won't have the same interests because of the contrast in size.



Well, if men are the ones who expected to initiate and approach women they are interested in (as it is traditionally in our society) that puts a hamper on FFA/BHM hooking up.

If a man approaches a BBW, it is clear he is interested in her and she feels 'safe' to return interest.

But, as you say, a BHM may have _no idea_ a FFA is interested in him. And if he's a total geek (like me) he's not going to be receptive to your signals because he's not used to them and may not recognize them.

Plus, there's also an added barrier: Depending on their past experiences, BHM and BBW may have an extra 'shield' up. They may have had instances in the past where they approached or were approached and ended up humiliated by someone excessively cruel (but really this can happen to anyone regardless of size).




> Rest assured there are some of us out here who are slim, but who do enjoy snacking (cake especially), Disney movies etc. and cuddling and would not in a million years want to go on a hike or take up running!!



To be clear, those are not my only interests. I like animated films and video games and musicals based on Sam Raimi movies. Art galleries and museums.

Just saying I'm closer to a homebody than to Captain Adventure. 
My idea of an adventure is taking a class in ballroom dancing or finding out-of-the-way quirky shops.

Sorry for turning this into a personals ad.





agouderia said:


> Actually - I would like to contradict you on that one.
> 
> In my opinion and experience, most BHM are mainly bhMEN and just as much subject to the prevailing patterns in society which discriminate against big/ger women. Meaning most BHM are no FA's and prefer slim women.



I enjoy being the exception to your rule.




> If BHM are interested in BBW ist mainly because of other factors/common interests - and sometimes even with the uncomfortable indirect dig of 'we're both fat, can't do better in the mating department, why don't we give it a try for lack of other opportunities.'



Yup, I've gotten that from women. "You're only talking to me because you're fat too and thus have no standards".
It screams of severe self esteem issues on her part. She can't fathom anyone going for her without seeing ulterior motives.
Hell it even happens with relatively thin women. Body image issues are seldom rational.

It hurts too because not only is she rejecting you, she's calling you a liar and at the same time saying she thinks you have no value. That in-turn hits my self esteem.
Lack of confidence is not only unattractive, it's toxic.


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## loopytheone (Jun 25, 2013)

I have noticed that most BHM prefer slim girls and that most FFA are slim. Which makes sense because most people are on the slimmer side.

I actually once got told by a BHM that if I ever wanted a BHM to be interested in me then I needed to lose 50lbs because no big guys would want to date a fat chick. I was all of 150lbs at that time.


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## biglynch (Jun 25, 2013)

loopytheone said:


> I have noticed that most BHM prefer slim girls and that most FFA are slim. Which makes sense because most people are on the slimmer side.
> 
> I actually once got told by a BHM that if I ever wanted a BHM to be interested in me then I needed to lose 50lbs because no big guys would want to date a fat chick. I was all of 150lbs at that time.



The world has gone mad. He was clearly a fecking toolbox.


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## Tad (Jun 25, 2013)

loopytheone said:


> I actually once got told by a BHM that if I ever wanted a BHM to be interested in me then I needed to lose 50lbs because no big guys would want to date a fat chick. I was all of 150lbs at that time.



Teenagers tend to think that the whole world is like what they have experienced, and everyone is like they and/or their friends are. You'd hope that by the time someone is a man or a woman they'd allow for a little more variance in the world :doh:


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## EricW90 (Jun 25, 2013)

well, so what im getting is that the whole FFA/BHM thing is totally removed from the FA/BBW thing? ugh, this stuff is too complicated! haha I just want a chubby girl with a nice derriere that likes a guy with a little extra weight! why is this so hard to find?? any takers? lol


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## tankyguy (Jun 25, 2013)

EricW90 said:


> well, so what im getting is that the whole FFA/BHM thing is totally removed from the FA/BBW thing?



I'm only newly arrived here (and have been welcomed easily  ) but I think the two are only removed from each other if you feel they are. There's nothing that stops a BHM from being a FA and there's nothing that stops a BBW from being a FFA. Contrary wise, there's nothing that says BBW _have_ to want to date BHM or vice versa.

The labels are just shorthand and really they're meaningless because they only apply if you identify with them. There's plenty of couples out there in the real world who are any combination of sizes who have no idea what those letters mean and they don't care. They just fell for the person they did. Simple as that.


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## Tad (Jun 26, 2013)

EricW90 said:


> well, so what im getting is that the whole FFA/BHM thing is totally removed from the FA/BBW thing? ugh, this stuff is too complicated! haha I just want a chubby girl with a nice derriere that likes a guy with a little extra weight! why is this so hard to find?? any takers? lol



Hold on to what it is you want, it is far more important than any labels or broad generalizations of how people are.

To dive into things a bit more, something that the label "FA" really doesn't catch is that there are, IMO, three main ways you can admire fat:

- on people you are sexually attracted to (what is mostly meant when people say 'FA')

- on people who you aren't sexually attracted to (you just think that many/most people look better with some weight on them, or are just more comfortable with fat people. You may prefer fat friends, for example).

- on yourself (you prefer being fat, like how you look with some weight on you, feel sexier with some chub, or whatever).

You could break all of those down into more sub-categories of size, shape, age, condition, gaining or not, fitness, love of food, etc, etc. As you become more aware of FAs (of either gender) and get to know more of them, a lot of those variations become more apparent, and eventually it becomes clear that really you can't fully categorize things.

BUT the key thing to first keep in mind is that people can have one, two, or all three of those aspects of liking fat, and that knowing they are one of those types tells you nothing about whether they are either of the others. In this way, labels can hide as much as they reveal.

Likewise with any other aspects of being an FA--the fact that someone loves eating and feeling full doesn't mean that they want to gain weight, the fact that someone loves someone being soft and jiggly doesn't mean that they don't want their partner to be in shape, etc.


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## loopytheone (Jun 26, 2013)

biglynch said:


> The world has gone mad. He was clearly a fecking toolbox.





Tad said:


> Teenagers tend to think that the whole world is like what they have experienced, and everyone is like they and/or their friends are. You'd hope that by the time someone is a man or a woman they'd allow for a little more variance in the world :doh:



He was a douche and I stopped speaking to him shortly afterwards. He was a very insecure in-the-closet type wannabe gainer as well so I guess he was just insecure as a person.

Also, a two years later, I am about 25lbs heavier and with the SSBHM of my dreams so that shows what he knows, eh? =p


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Jun 27, 2013)

wtf is this place? The women have dicks, the men have tits and Sassy is actually a sociologist. The world is UPSIDE DOWN!!

HMU ladies. (real ladies)


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## Amaranthine (Jun 27, 2013)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> *wtf is this place? The women have dicks, the men have tits* and Sassy is actually a sociologist. The world is UPSIDE DOWN!!
> 
> HMU ladies. (real ladies)



I do believe it's called Heaven.


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Jun 27, 2013)

Amaranthine said:


> I do believe it's called Heaven.



is this you HMU'ing me?


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## tankyguy (Jun 27, 2013)

loopytheone said:


> He was a douche and I stopped speaking to him shortly afterwards. He was a very insecure in-the-closet type wannabe gainer as well so I guess he was just insecure as a person.



How do you be a 'wannabe gainer'?

Pretend to eat huge meals but really you're dumping your plate into a potted plant?


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## Amaranthine (Jun 27, 2013)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> is this you HMU'ing me?





Hozay J Garseeya said:


> *(real ladies)*





Also..."Is this you hit me upping me" is potentially the best sentence I've ever read. On par with: This gem


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## HDANGEL15 (Jun 28, 2013)

tankyguy said:


> How do you be a 'wannabe gainer'?
> 
> Pretend to eat huge meals but really you're dumping your plate into a potted plant?


*
there are tons of WANNA BE GAINERS...they like the fantasy talk....but don't actually ACT ON IT....or you see em posting here...they were/are super fit guys that gain 10-20# and feel like they totally LOST CONTROL and OMG I AM SO FAT NOW...and aren't even really chubby

just my very OPINIONATED OPNION from years on this board...carry on*


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## Cobra Verde (Jun 28, 2013)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> wtf is this place?


A place for ants?!


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## loopytheone (Jun 28, 2013)

tankyguy said:


> How do you be a 'wannabe gainer'?
> 
> Pretend to eat huge meals but really you're dumping your plate into a potted plant?



Exactly what HDAngel said! He used to talk about wanting to gain weight and get up to 400lbs and so on and so forth but it soon became apparent that he wasn't really going to actually try and gain weight.



HDANGEL15 said:


> *
> there are tons of WANNA BE GAINERS...they like the fantasy talk....but don't actually ACT ON IT....or you see em posting here...they were/are super fit guys that gain 10-20# and feel like they totally LOST CONTROL and OMG I AM SO FAT NOW...and aren't even really chubby
> 
> just my very OPINIONATED OPNION from years on this board...carry on*



Well I can appreciate gaining at any size and any amount of gain and this website is the place for talking about such things. I know what you mean though, some people on here try and act as though gaining 15lbs has drastically altered everything about them.


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## Tad (Jun 28, 2013)

loopytheone said:


> I know what you mean though, some people on here try and act as though gaining 15lbs has drastically altered everything about them.



To be fair though,for some people even gaining and accepting that much is a huge mental shift. If you had always focussed on being cut, had attached a chunk of your status and self-worth to having that 'enviable' body, then choosing to leave that space can be a huge mental step. Basically for anyone to leave that 'zone' where they feel comfortable and safe can be a big mental step.

Mind you, that doesn't always make for anything very interesting for others, and I know I can feel sort of "good for you, if you keep it for a year or two and decide you want to gain more, then come tell us about it."


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## loopytheone (Jun 28, 2013)

Tad said:


> To be fair though,for some people even gaining and accepting that much is a huge mental shift. If you had always focussed on being cut, had attached a chunk of your status and self-worth to having that 'enviable' body, then choosing to leave that space can be a huge mental step. Basically for anyone to leave that 'zone' where they feel comfortable and safe can be a big mental step.
> 
> Mind you, that doesn't always make for anything very interesting for others, and I know I can feel sort of "good for you, if you keep it for a year or two and decide you want to gain more, then come tell us about it."



Ah.. I didn't mean to imply it wasn't a big thing for the person themselves. I can understand that if you have always prided yourself on your leanness then changing that is going to be a big mental shift for you. I am actually only around 15lbs heavier than usual at the moment and yet my mental change with regards to myself is very different. :happy:


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## BigChaz (Jun 28, 2013)

HDANGEL15 said:


> *
> there are tons of WANNA BE GAINERS...they like the fantasy talk....but don't actually ACT ON IT....or you see em posting here...they were/are super fit guys that gain 10-20# and feel like they totally LOST CONTROL and OMG I AM SO FAT NOW...and aren't even really chubby
> 
> just my very OPINIONATED OPNION from years on this board...carry on*



I put on 5lbs my shirts are tight lol im such a fat ass. At work girls bring me donuts now cause im so fat hahah. Girls u wanna chat hit me up im a bhm


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## tankyguy (Jun 28, 2013)

BigChaz said:


> I put on 5lbs my shirts are tight lol im such a fat ass. At work girls bring me donuts now cause im so fat hahah. Girls u wanna chat hit me up im a bhm



So they just sound like the kind of guy who'll say anything if they think it will help them get into a woman's pants?

"Yeah, I'm a total metalhead. Me and my friends were in a Winger tribute band."

"I'm all about green myself. Baby seals are the most environmental of issues."

"Writer-Actor is _my_ thing, too. Currently I'm working on a script for a one-man improv show on Broadway."


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## shandyman (Jun 29, 2013)

BigChaz said:


> I put on 5lbs my shirts are tight lol im such a fat ass. At work girls bring me donuts now cause im so fat hahah. Girls u wanna chat hit me up im a bhm



You notice a difference in a 5lb gain??

I am so soft all over I hardly notice a +- 15lb change


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## shandyman (Jun 29, 2013)

Librarygirl said:


> I agree with what others have said - much as I am attracted to fat men, I'm naturally quite small and happy that way. It is the contrast that adds to the attraction.
> 
> My gripe would be that it seems pretty common for BHMs to prefer BBWs, which leaves us slim FFAs feeling like we have no chance.



I prefer slim FFAs and I adore the size difference


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## Saoirse (Jun 29, 2013)

tankyguy said:


> The labels are just shorthand and really they're meaningless because they only apply if you identify with them. There's plenty of couples out there in the real world who are any combination of sizes who have no idea what those letters mean and they don't care. They just fell for the person they did. Simple as that.



There's really nothing else to be said. Stop focusing on labels.


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## Donnybrook (Jun 29, 2013)

If you are surprised to hear about the existence of FFA's, hopefully, your discovery of DIMS will disabuse you of the idea that all women in the world are attracted to the same slender, perfectly chiseled male form. He has his merits, sure - I'll enjoy looking at a calendar of hunks any day - but for a certain segment of the female population, hunks are simply not enough.

Its kind of like that hammer and bell game you see at state fairs and carnivals, called High Striker. For an FFA, the blow that sounds the bell is the fat guy. Another type of striker. 

If it were true that all women are attracted to only slim men, we would be living in some scary sci-fi world where half the human race is robotically programmed or something. Bu the thing is, even if that _were _true, there would still be so much diversity of preference among women for all sorts of physical qualities in men that you could bet that almost no two women would be turned on by the same exact "type" of man. Dark haired, blondes, hairy chest, no hairy chest, facial hair, no facial hair, tall, medium, short, shoulders, arms, heavily built, freckled, white, black, Asian - you get the idea. And we haven't even gotten to preferences women have for attributes men possess _below _the belt. 

It's been my observation that, when my girlfriends have brought their boyfriends around or have gotten married, their guy would be the last on my list to date. For whatever reason, their choice is just not my type. And when I've brought my boyfriends around or showed pictures of him, they wonder what on earth I see in him. And it is not because hes heavy - I'm talking about average sized men I've dated. They've let me know he would be last on their list. The sheer complexity of male-female attraction is bewildering, and definitely worth drinking to. But nobody should get offended. All of this is just human nature. 

Now, I personally think that FFA's are a lucky bunch of people. We get to enjoy men for all the qualities I mentioned above, _and _FFAs have the size and weight factor that turns us on to no end. (That was a short list, and it was just a list of PHYSICAL attributes; theres plenty more things that attract women to men than just what a guy happens to look like.) 

Im also an FFA who is slim and petite, and I have always liked the inherent size difference with a big guy, something that a lot of FAs also enjoy with BBWs. Its been speculated that there are more FAs in the general population than FFAs. Id be interested to know if thats true.


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## LeoGibson (Jun 29, 2013)

I have to admit, every time I see FFA, I don't think fat admiration. The first thing that pops into my head is Future Farmers of America. 

Wonder what that means sub-consciously? There's something for the armchair pop-psychologists to chew on!


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## loopytheone (Jun 29, 2013)

LeoGibson said:


> I have to admit, every time I see FFA, I don't think fat admiration. The first thing that pops into my head is Future Farmers of America.
> 
> Wonder what that means sub-consciously? There's something for the armchair pop-psychologists to chew on!



That you like farming?


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## Amaranthine (Jun 29, 2013)

Donnybrook said:


> It's been my observation that, when my girlfriends have brought their boyfriends around or have gotten married, their guy would be the last on my list to date. For whatever reason, their choice is just not my type. And when I've brought my boyfriends around or showed pictures of him, they wonder what on earth I see in him. And it is not because hes heavy - I'm talking about average sized men I've dated. They've let me know he would be last on their list. The sheer complexity of male-female attraction is bewildering, and definitely worth drinking to. But nobody should get offended. All of this is just human nature.
> 
> Now, I personally think that FFA's are a lucky bunch of people. We get to enjoy men for all the qualities I mentioned above, _and _FFAs have the size and weight factor that turns us on to no end. (That was a short list, and it was just a list of PHYSICAL attributes; theres plenty more things that attract women to men than just what a guy happens to look like.)
> 
> Im also an FFA who is slim and petite, and I have always liked the inherent size difference with a big guy, something that a lot of FAs also enjoy with BBWs. Its been speculated that there are more FAs in the general population than FFAs. Id be interested to know if thats true.



You know, for the first part, I have to wonder how much of that is situational. As in...from the very first moment you meet them, you KNOW they're taken. Most would never consider the SO of a friend to be an option. Sure there's the forbidden fruit syndrome, but if you don't know much about the person...I think it'd be more likely to just never see them in a romantic/sexual light. Plus, as you said, they're likely to not be your type anyway. 

I'm curious as to your last question as well. As for open FFAs, there certainly appears to be less. But I think there's a number of factors, which I will list mainly to indulge myself in bullet points again. 


Perhaps women are more swayed and deterred by social pressure. Therefore, they just suppress or hide their preferences. 
Or maybe women are just less inclined to make a big deal about it. They prefer big guys and that's that. No need to highlight it. So when people try to guestimate the number of FFAs, they're only focusing on ones who made a bigger deal of it
Fetish-level attraction vs. preference level attraction. I have read that women are less prone to paraphilias/fetishes. So women who fixate on fat/food, are feeders, etc...may just be less common altogether.


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## tankyguy (Jun 29, 2013)

Amaranthine said:


> Perhaps women are more swayed and deterred by social pressure. Therefore, they just suppress or hide their preferences.
> Or maybe women are just less inclined to make a big deal about it. They prefer big guys and that's that. No need to highlight it. So when people try to guestimate the number of FFAs, they're only focusing on ones who made a bigger deal of it
> Fetish-level attraction vs. preference level attraction. I have read that women are less prone to paraphilias/fetishes. So women who fixate on fat/food, are feeders, etc...may just be less common altogether.



I think it's a combination of these and an additional idea that if an attractive woman is with a large guy, she's in it for his money/status. That is something a lot of people looking on will assume and no one will even consider it could be her preference. If this is the case...I'm SOL. 

A thin guy and a big girl? Well that's just an abomination of nature and people will take more notice of it. Guy's are supposed to be bigger and dominant. Guys are supposed to go for young and fit women who are best suited for popping out and caring for his children. Anything else is a deviation.




Donnybrook said:


> And we haven't even gotten to preferences women have for attributes men possess _below _the belt.



Now hold on now. Am I hearing you correctly? Never have I have heard anything to suggest that any women prefer 'less is more' in this aspect of men. Not unless she's just trying to soothe a bruised ego. Are you suggesting this is not a universal truth?
Answer carefully, or you could bring down all of civilization.


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## loopytheone (Jun 29, 2013)

tankyguy said:


> Now hold on now. Am I hearing you correctly? Never have I have heard anything to suggest that any women prefer 'less is more' in this aspect of men. Not unless she's just trying to soothe a bruised ego. Are you suggesting this is not a universal truth?
> Answer carefully, or you could bring down all of civilization.



Well I am not exactly cavernous so I wouldn't want somebody too large down there and I know a lot of girls think the same! Pain is not sexy! ...unless you think it is. ^^;


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## ODFFA (Jun 29, 2013)

LeoGibson said:


> I have to admit, every time I see FFA, I don't think fat admiration. The first thing that pops into my head is Future Farmers of America.
> 
> Wonder what that means sub-consciously? There's something for the armchair pop-psychologists to chew on!



Future Farmers of America celebrating Black History Month..... hawtness!


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## blackcaesarbhm (Jun 30, 2013)

I usually meet FFA's at bookstores, libraries, comic-con and sporting events.. Heck, some of them are definitely shy at times and quite aggressive as well. Especially, the thin ffa's that has thing for bhm's that weighting more than 300 plus!!!!


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## tankyguy (Jun 30, 2013)

blackcaesarbhm said:


> I usually meet FFA's at bookstores, libraries, comic-con and sporting events.. Heck, some of them are definitely shy at times and quite aggressive as well. Especially, the thin ffa's that has thing for bhm's that weighting more than 300 plus!!!!



If I were a FFA, I'd be looking for single BHM at the supermarket. If a guy is shopping alone, chances are he's not in a relationship. If he's loading up on single serve frozen dinners, that's the clincher that he's a bachelor.


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## loopytheone (Jun 30, 2013)

tankyguy said:


> If I were a FFA, I'd be looking for single BHM at the supermarket. If a guy is shopping alone, chances are he's not in a relationship. If he's loading up on single serve frozen dinners, that's the clincher that he's a bachelor.



I always look for potential mates around the food dispensing shops. That's all I need to know we have in common.


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## BigChaz (Jun 30, 2013)

blackcaesarbhm said:


> I usually meet FFA's at bookstores, libraries, comic-con and sporting events.. Heck, some of them are definitely shy at times and quite aggressive as well. Especially, the thin ffa's that has thing for bhm's that weighting more than 300 plus!!!!



So basically you meet women in places?


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## blackcaesarbhm (Jun 30, 2013)

chaz, yeah, I meet alot of single ladies in those places. There nothing but FFA's at comic con and sporting events in South!


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## MrSensible (Jul 1, 2013)

I do believe a *whoosh* is in order here :happy:

I've got to say though, if you're really coming across, "nothing but FFA's" at the places you go, I must be living in the wrong part of the south.

...or maybe it's just that, "not being the least bit proactive about it" thing that's getting in my way. Who knows?


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## tankyguy (Jul 1, 2013)

loopytheone said:


> I always look for potential mates around the food dispensing shops. That's all I need to know we have in common.



Not sure if sarcasm...





blackcaesarbhm said:


> chaz, yeah, I meet alot of single ladies in those places. There nothing but FFA's at comic con and sporting events in South!



Things are different here way up north as far as comic cons go. All the local comic geek girls seem to be paired up with heroin-thin guys with frosted hair and hipster jeans.


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## blackcaesarbhm (Jul 1, 2013)

MrSensible, you need try your luck in Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia and definitely Texas...


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## Amaranthine (Jul 1, 2013)

blackcaesarbhm said:


> MrSensible, you need try your luck in *Alabama*, Mississippi, Georgia and definitely Texas...





MrSensible said:


> I do believe a *whoosh* is in order here :happy:
> 
> I've got to say though, if you're really coming across, "nothing but FFA's" at the places you go, I must be living in the wrong part of the south.
> 
> ...or maybe it's just that, "not being the least bit proactive about it" thing that's getting in my way. Who knows?



There's your problem! You forgot to look for women in the state that you live in!

... :doh:


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## BigChaz (Jul 1, 2013)

My brand of humor appears to be falling short on this forum lately


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## BearHug2013 (Jul 1, 2013)

Amaranthine said:


> Perhaps women are more swayed and deterred by social pressure. Therefore, they just suppress or hide their preferences.
> Or maybe women are just less inclined to make a big deal about it. They prefer big guys and that's that. No need to highlight it. So when people try to guestimate the number of FFAs, they're only focusing on ones who made a bigger deal of it
> Fetish-level attraction vs. preference level attraction. I have read that women are less prone to paraphilias/fetishes. So women who fixate on fat/food, are feeders, etc...may just be less common altogether.



I must disagree, maybe it's a POV thing. In my opinion, women care MUCH more about the physical shape(not health related) of a man. In my experibce, when man is considered "out of shape" he's gotta have that much more going for him...while a man "in shape" requires that much less going for him. 
Yeah yeah, I know it's common "misconception" and I'll change my "misconception" when I encounter any confliction to it. 
Just my view/experience.


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## BigChaz (Jul 1, 2013)

BearHug2013 said:


> I must disagree, maybe it's a POV thing. In my opinion, women care MUCH more about the physical shape(not health related) of a man. In my experibce, when man is considered "out of shape" he's gotta have that much more going for him...while a man "in shape" requires that much less going for him.
> Yeah yeah, I know it's common "misconception" and I'll change my "misconception" when I encounter any confliction to it.
> Just my view/experience.



If a girl I don't find attractive wants me to be into her, she has to have something good going for her in order for me to be able to overcome that physical aspect. That is how it works for the vast majority I would hazard to guess.


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## Amaranthine (Jul 1, 2013)

BearHug2013 said:


> I must disagree, maybe it's a POV thing. In my opinion, women care MUCH more about the physical shape(not health related) of a man. In my experibce, when man is considered "out of shape" he's gotta have that much more going for him...while a man "in shape" requires that much less going for him.
> Yeah yeah, I know it's common "misconception" and I'll change my "misconception" when I encounter any confliction to it.
> Just my view/experience.



I was talking specifically about women who are FFAs. As in...reasons we may believe there to be less FFAs than there actually are. It's hard to judge, because some women might just suppress it altogether or not make a big deal about it, etc. It seems like you're addressing more typically-preferenced women, in regards to looking past a guy's size. 

I agree with Chaz. I don't know if men or women are worse in that regard, but it seems pretty universal to me. A thin guy has to be utterly utterly amazing for me to be compelled to date him.


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## MrSensible (Jul 1, 2013)

Amaranthine said:


> There's your problem! You forgot to look for women in the state that you live in!
> 
> ... :doh:



*Mind Blown* It was so obvious... That damned forest, for those damned trees, couldn't see it...

In his defense, considering that I do most of my socializing on the net these days, it's pretty rare that I fraternize with any other Alabamians (ha, that's actually a word.) I realllly don't belong here, so it tends to work out for the best .


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## Tad (Jul 2, 2013)

Amaranthine said:


> Perhaps women are more swayed and deterred by social pressure. Therefore, they just suppress or hide their preferences.
> Or maybe women are just less inclined to make a big deal about it. They prefer big guys and that's that. No need to highlight it. So when people try to guestimate the number of FFAs, they're only focusing on ones who made a bigger deal of it
> Fetish-level attraction vs. preference level attraction. I have read that women are less prone to paraphilias/fetishes. So women who fixate on fat/food, are feeders, etc...may just be less common altogether.




Those all sound like reasonable reasons, I'd be inclined to agree. Especially the middle one--if feels to me like guys are more apt to take what they like, and take it to extremes, than are women (as usual, more difference within a gender than between them, but on average).

With regard to what Donnybrook was saying, an observation from a lot of guys is that is amazing how much more female attention they seem to get once they are 'taken.' I don't know if it is because they are now considered safe to flirt with, or if the endorsement of one woman makes us more attractive to other women?

On the other hand, amongst my (male) friends I'd say that there seems to be a mix of 'low on my list' and 'wow I'm jealous,' without a lot in between. It seems a few of the guys have similar tastes, and it has created a bit of drama over the years (one friend married the ex-gf of another guy in our group, for instance), but for the most part the women that any one of us has gone out with have not at all interested the others. 

In my case, although I'm an FA I started dating my wife when she was still fairly small (size 12/14 at the time, which would probably be more like a 10/12 in most stores now), but my friends were generally "Really? This isn't serious, right? Let's go out and we'll find you some other women to mingle with, see if you don't find something better." (I disabused them of that notion quickly).


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## tankyguy (Jul 2, 2013)

Tad said:


> rook was saying, an observation from a lot of guys is that is amazing how much more female attention they seem to get once they are 'taken.' I don't know if it is because they are now considered safe to flirt with, or if the endorsement of one woman makes us more attractive to other women?



Actually, it's been observed that even men in the company a female _friend_ increases other women's interest in him. That's why a lot of dating coaches preach how invaluable wingwomen can be to guys.

As to 'why'? It could be that on an unconscious level, women perceive such a guy as less of a potential threat when other women 'vouch' for him by being around him. It could also be triggering a bit of competition in thier mating instinct.

Or it could be that the guy himself is more relaxed and confident and it comes through in his body language. Perhaps this is why a lot of men report that when they're in a relationship, suddenly more women are flirting with them even when the guy is solo at that moment.


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Jul 2, 2013)

BigChaz said:


> My brand of humor appears to be falling short on this forum lately



I haven't posted much on the forum lately, but I can recall two times in the past month that I've peed a little reading what you wrote. 

You brand of Humor is appreciated.


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## kh818 (Jul 11, 2013)

This site makes me feel like a dang unicorn lol. I think that there are more FFA's than we'd like to think because so many women can get away with saying that "he's just a big guy" and people don't consider it a fetish. I wish people were just more open about it. I'm 5'2'' and range between 160-170lbs which makes me fairly "proportionate" looking I suppose. I am your typical 20's something student.

I prefer my man to be soft all over and gaining. I am not "out" per se other than to my current roommate whom I drunkenly confessed to one night. She found it interesting and did not judge me for it (Thank GOD). I don't necessarily feel the need to let everyone I know in on this "dirty little secret" mostly because I do not need to hear their opinion on it. I joined this site recently just to learn more about myself and the world I seem to be apart of.

Nice to read all of your entries, very enlightening!:bow:


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## Tad (Jul 11, 2013)

Does your boyfriend know of your preference for men to be gaining? 

In the end, it is your partner that is probably the most important, but hardest, person to communicate this stuff to. Not that you have to give them full details, but at least a good clue.


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## kh818 (Jul 11, 2013)

Tad said:


> Does your boyfriend know of your preference for men to be gaining?
> 
> In the end, it is your partner that is probably the most important, but hardest, person to communicate this stuff to. Not that you have to give them full details, but at least a good clue.




No he does not and I didn't know how to explain it to him so that's what got me researching all of this. I still am unsure of how to bring it up just because it is out of the norm. He is really smart so I'm sure he has heard of this before, but I am 100% unsure of how he would react. *sigh

My ex had figured it out for the most part, he was a wrestler and they have tendencies to starve themselves to make weight and that obviously drove me nuts and I was very vocal about how I didnt like it and one day he called me out.

All in all I would like to tell him one day...


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## Tad (Jul 11, 2013)

kh818 said:


> No he does not and I didn't know how to explain it to him so that's what got me researching all of this. I still am unsure of how to bring it up just because it is out of the norm. He is really smart so I'm sure he has heard of this before, but I am 100% unsure of how he would react. *sigh
> 
> My ex had figured it out for the most part, he was a wrestler and they have tendencies to starve themselves to make weight and that obviously drove me nuts and I was very vocal about how I didnt like it and one day he called me out.
> 
> All in all I would like to tell him one day...



A few quick thoughts (relevant thoughts? That I don't promise....)
- research is good! You'll find there are a lot of similarities, and a lot of differences, between various FA, and it may help you understand your own desires better.
- Being smart does not always mean being informed in every area. Maybe he's pretty hip to various sexual kinks....but never underestimate the power of male obliviousness.
- Even if he doesn't know about it in general, yah he may have a pretty good idea of what you like.
- As you've already seen, just because your partner likes it, doesn't mean that you will....so yah, you have every reason to tread carefully.
- You don't have to do a full confession of every detail right up front, just start with a few comments that like "Mmmm, I like how cuddly you feel" or "I know it isn't in fashion, but I love seeing a guy eat well. No skinny hipsters living on cigarettes and salad for me!" or "It feels sooo good to have your weight on top of me, it is such a rush."
- and in general, actions speak louder than words for guys, so what you touch, what food you give him, will probably do more to convince him of how you feel than any number of words.
- but speaking of words, praising his looks to other people can't hurt--knowing you are proud of him can do wonders for the famously fragile male ego.

I hope that was more helpful than confusing. Good luck! :bow:


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## kh818 (Jul 11, 2013)

Thanks Tad, that was helpful. 

I don't think going straight for it and spilling my guts would really go super smooth, so I'm thinking hint dropping will be the best way to go. I suppose that I am somewhat a feeder? Nothing extreme. So that is another discussion within itself I think. Boy does he have a lot coming his way lol. Oy vey!


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## Tad (Jul 11, 2013)

For what it is worth, the term "feeder" is probably about as precise as "liberal" or "spiritual." So that you enjoy weight gain would probably make you a feeder, but it doesn't mean you will like everything else that gets lumped in as 'feeder.' Heh, there is a lot of explore in all this stuff--good luck....and then good luck helping him through it!


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## MillyLittleMonster (Jul 14, 2013)

BigChaz said:


> So basically you meet women in places?



Hahahaha +1


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