# So OMG is your boyfriend FAT!!!



## rabbitislove (Feb 23, 2008)

Hey kids. Just checking the board, and I feel so loved that I was missed. I missed you all too. Way too much to stay away. 

So after giving up on love, I found out one of my male friends had a thing for me two weeks ago, and I thought I didnt have a snowballs chance in hell with him. So for two weeks, I've been on cloud 9 and we've been dating He's amazing. He's beautiful highly intelligent, sensitive, yet tough, hardworking, charismatic, funny..I could go on. He's 6'0 and 240, so not as big as my last boy, but still has a cute tummy and is good for cuddles.:wubu I only point this out to :compare the two later in my plea for advice

I wanted to have a more optimistic return, however, I'm still being followed by that dark cloud called fatphobia. I have a feeling said cloud follows some of you guys around as well.

However, my rant comes from my parents, namely my dad. My boy came over to meet my family last night. (He put on a nice sweater and everything!) and nobody talked to him or spent any time with us. When he left, my dad asked my brother "Is he fat?" My brother said no, and my dad said "Good" and went to sleep. 

I am so sick of this shit. My parents will devalue anyone I date for being fat. I don't even know why I haven't come out of the closet as bisexual, because apparently dating fat guys is "just as bad". Its really not enough that they have to critique my body, tell me if I need to lose 5 lbs or tell me I "have to stay skinny" like my body is some accomplishment that belongs to them but really. Everyone I date? Even though my ex was a computer programmer who made over 40 grand a year, they didn't like him because he was "fat"

I honestly think I should just say something about being an FFA, if they make such nasty comments. They aren't just harmful to my boys, they're harmful to my psyche. Advice?
__________________


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## LoveBHMS (Feb 23, 2008)

I honestly think the best thing to do is just ignore it. Shrug it off like "yeah, so the guys I date are bigger...whatever..."

I know some others may encourage a heart to heart coming out of the closet sort of thing, but personally I wouldn't do that. I've just never felt the need to say anything beyond "yeah...he is fat...."

I really don't want to get into talking to my mom about FFA's and the like.

I just find the less of a big deal you make of it, the less of a big deal anyone else makes of it.


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## SnapDragon (Feb 23, 2008)

I recommend you speak to your parents and make it clear that you find this attitude hurtful. If they won't accept that, there's not a lot more you can do, apart from see your parents less frequently and without your boyfriend. This is the way you are, and you can't help it and you can't change it , and you wouldn't want to change and make yourself unhappy on someone else's behalf. Either they like it or lump it. Life's too short to have this sort of disagreement with your close family.

I do not think it is fair that your parents have made personal remarks on your appearance. No parents are perfect, but I think they should try to be supportive. I appreciate that some comments about appearance are rather ignorant attempts at compliments -- that obnoxious old 'you're lucky to be thin' remark, but this doesn't excuse it. That said, most people's parents tend to be critical of their children's partners, especially when they have only just started going out. My mother said that my sister should have someone more intellectual than her boyfriend (whom she is now engaged to) and that someone I used to go out with was too highbrow for her and my father to talk to. Actually, she was really peculiar around him, being rude to me when he was there and just generally acting strange. He was terrified of her. I split up with him later, and when I started seeing someone else, I didn't bother to tell my parents, since I don't live near them and because of what happened with the previous one (and I've now split up with him anyway). I am very crap at finding relationships, and from my mother's point of view I look even crapper, and she and my father to some extent (he's usually not bothered but he does get peculiar about money) have now started nagging me about not being so picky and she has even suggested I get involved again with the one she knew about, whom she didn't like. If I have another relationship, I probably won't tell my parents, unless I ever have a relationship that gets to the point of cohabitation. But again, this was a personal dislike, rather than a general critiscism of my tastes, which I think is more of a problem.

I used to be secretive about my fat fetish, but gave up on it and now I'm very open about liking fat men. That way, I hope I won't miss out on anything good that comes my way because of misconceptions on the other side, or mislead anyone who thinks I'm something I'm not. I remember that my mother once remarked 'You've always been that way,' and it's true. I always was interested in fat people, even when I was too young for the interest to be sexual. Your sexuality results from your genes, exposure to hormones before you were born, and your upbringing, all of which your parents are in part responsible for. So they can't begrudge you it. I'm not saying this way will work for everyone, but that's just how I see it.

-SnapDragon.


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## bnlfan (Feb 23, 2008)

rabbitislove said:


> Hey kids. Just checking the board, and I feel so loved that I was missed. I missed you all too. Way too much to stay away.
> 
> So after giving up on love, I found out one of my male friends had a thing for me two weeks ago, and I thought I didnt have a snowballs chance in hell with him. So for two weeks, I've been on cloud 9 and we've been dating He's amazing. He's beautiful highly intelligent, sensitive, yet tough, hardworking, charismatic, funny..I could go on. He's 6'0 and 240, so not as big as my last boy, but still has a cute tummy and is good for cuddles.:wubu I only point this out to :compare the two later in my plea for advice
> 
> ...



First let me state that what I am about to say is not directed toward you but your situation.

I told my wife when she accepted my proposal the following:

When I marry you I leave my old family behind. While I will still engage them, they are not my priority. You and (when we have them) our kids are my sole responsiblity. You are my focus for living. So, anything that anyone besides you or the kids doesn't matter. If they don't like it then f&ck 'em.

Period.


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## Fatgator (Feb 24, 2008)

I would take part of LoveBHMs advice first. If they bring it up, just say "yeah I like fat guy" and leave it at that. She mentioned using the word "bigger"...personally that sounds like you'd be somewhat ashamed of liking fat guys and you're trying to please them. If they mention it, just say that you like it, and leave it alone. 

I wouldn't go into a long discussion about it with them. If they bring it up, then you can, but I wouldn't bring it up myself. It doesn't seem like they are respecting you or the guys you choose. If they don't, that's their problem. I understand it affects your psyche too though. I would be irritated too (I kind of have a similar problem with my Dad regarding my fatness), but think about the situation.

What will happen if you tell them? They make snide remarks everytime they see you, stuff like "How's your love life? Any fatties" or "Okay how fat is this guy?" etc etc....not that it sounds rude on paper, but said with the right tone, it'd feel like they were trying to get under your skin. 
If you don't tell them, then they just make the comments they've been making. Either way, you lose. Except the latter lets you keep your privacy, and they won't question you about your preference. (I get questioned about mine, it's bothersome.)

If you find a guy you end up spending the rest of your live with, they'll eventually get over his weight. I know it's cliche to say this but it only matters what you think and what you want (It's also cliche to point out a cliche comment, I know). It's not up to you whether your parents approve or not. I'm sure they'll notice you coming around less and less, and if they want your company, they'll have to change their behavior. 

I don't know if any of this advice is helpful, but at the very least you know this board is here for you. That's something you can be sure of.


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## mediaboy (Feb 25, 2008)

I recommend you speak your mind and be frank and open about your preference for larger partners and then perhaps drop some hints that let them know they are being rude.

Which ever way the conversation goes don't apologize for any of it and most of all don't ever apologize for being you.


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## LillyBBBW (Feb 25, 2008)

I wouldn't make a big show of things or call a press conference. Mr problem solving skills usually come in the form of a statement of finality. When the subject rolls around next time the conversation can go like this: 

*ME: * "Welp I like my guys fat so you may as well start getting used to it now folks. The only slim things you'll see around here are the chances you'll encounter anything other than the glorious creatures you've seen before you so far " 

*THEM:* "Oh but sweetie, you can do so much better!" 

*ME: * "Not as far as I'm concerned. For me there's nothing better, and the rest is none of your business." *snaps the newspaper and continues reading*

I agree with LoveBHMS, you don't *need* to say anything but if these people are getting on your nerves it might be prudent to nip it in the bud early.


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## Melian (Feb 25, 2008)

I'm glad my dad is fat and isn't a hypocrite about it...

Sounds like some of you girls put up with a lot of crap


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## stefanie (Feb 25, 2008)

Hi, *rabbitislove*, good to see you are back.

What concerns me about your story is not so much that your father seems to be a fat-phobe, but that your family didn't talk to or spend time with the guy you brought home to meet them. I would think they would want to know who their daughter was involved with, and the only way to do that is to spend a bit of time with them.

Don't they realize that there are a lot of guys out there who wouldn't even *want* to go home with a girl, to meet her family? It seems there are some priorities up-ended here. 

Sometimes the best retort if someone says, "Hey, he's fat!" is a big SO WHAT? followed by End of Discussion.


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## Tad (Feb 25, 2008)

I’m going to recommend a book that I mention every few months on here, so apologies to anyone for whom this is a repeat.

The book is called “The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense” by Suzette-Haden Elgin. It is worth reading in general, but in particular a couple of sections might be useful in dealing with your family (and possibly friends):

- what she calls &#8216;Satyr modes’ which are to say blaming, apologizing, distracter, computer, and leveler. Computer means keeping all emotion, blame, acceptance of blame out of your voice and choice of words, and using very neutral language—think Spock from Star Trek. When dealing with someone in blaming mode it is generally best to go into computer mode, as if they get no emotional response it is hard to sustain the blaming mode, and you can often take things off to a tangent. (Leveler mode is sort of optimum communication, open, accepting, neither blaming nor apologizing, but using real emotion and meaning while staying consistent). 
- there is a section in there talking about dealing with implied criticisms. In general they’ll come more in the form of sentences like “If you really cared about the kids, you wouldn’t smoke around them.” (implied: you don’t care about the kids), or “Someone who really wants to get into law school wouldn’t go out drinking every Saturday night.” (implied: you don’t really want to get into law school). She suggests that the best way to deal with this sort of thing is to reply, more or less in computer mode, &#8216;When did you start thinking that X’ where X is the implied part. More often than not they’ll deny that they meant X (getting out of the situation), and sometimes they’ll give you an actual response to your question, which lets you have a nice solid discussion. In particular

- Putting those two together, I'd suggest something like: If they say (blaming mode): "You could do so much better." You reply, very flatly "That is an interesting view point. In what way do you think I could do better?" If they follow on with "For starters someone who is not so fat!" then you are golden, because you follow up with something like "If I understand correctly, you are saying that being fat makes him less worthy than other guys. Is this correct?" and you follow along that line. Talking with someone in computer mode is a huge pain, and most people will soon learn to avoid topics that trigger it.

So they might try "If you really cared about him, you'd make him get healthier" to which you reply, again in computer mode "I see. When did you start thinking I don't care about him?" Or if they try "People who really want to succeed in life think about the image their partner gives." the same thing "When did you start thinking I don't want to succeed in life?" Likewise to "If you cared about how any kids you have do, you'd make sure their father will be around to see them grow up!" or anything else like that.

That is really summarized, and probably a bit garbled. I really do suggest the book. There is a good chance that your local library will have it, and if not I assume it is still available over amazon (I read it, and its sequels, from the local library).

Anyway, my broader point here is that often it is not the issue that they don’t approve of your preference (you know that already), it is the way that family can make it emotional and personal. With the right conversational tools you can take a lot of the sting out of that. I hope this was of some help with those tools, and that you get a chance to read the book for more tools.

Regards;

-Ed


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## Carl1h (Feb 25, 2008)

I'm a regular reader of Savage Love and this made me think of the advice he gives people who are coming out to their parents/relatives and so I'll paraphrase him here.

First get an ally, hopefully a sympathetic sibling who will help you out and will stick up for you when you aren't there. Second, be out front with your parents. You like fat guys and you'll be bringing fat guys home to meet them and for the holidays and they need to get used to that idea, and they need to be nice to them. Third, give them some time to adjust their way of thinking. Once they have had time to get to know your boyfriend and figure out that he's a great guy (your job is to make sure he's a great guy) if they're still being butt heads you can lean on them again. Over time though, most people get used to new ideas and eventually just accept it as the norm.


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## topher38 (Feb 27, 2008)

I for one have been "the fat BF". I think it helps if he the BF knows how the family is going to be and he can help by talking about normal life things like job what he likes to do for fun. I found my last GFs dad loved to go to the gun club and shoot, so we talked about that and went out for some time at the club, he didn't like me at first for my size, but he warmed up. but this works with men of any size I find dads don't want their little girl with any men  
just my 2 cents
Topher


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## fat hiker (Jun 18, 2009)

topher38 said:


> I for one have been "the fat BF". I think it helps if he the BF knows how the family is going to be and he can help by talking about normal life things like job what he likes to do for fun. I found my last GFs dad loved to go to the gun club and shoot, so we talked about that and went out for some time at the club, he didn't like me at first for my size, but he warmed up. but this works with men of any size I find dads don't want their little girl with any men
> just my 2 cents
> Topher



Yes, here too! My skinny prospective future in-laws were doubtful about my generous bulk either, but when my prospective father-in-law found out that I liked to garden and to hike, and my prospective mother-in-law found that I liked to travel and rode my bike a lot, and both of them saw how much I cared about their daughter, they both warmed to me, and now regularly show up with nice shirts in my exact size that they find while trolling the factory outlet malls during their winter holidays (I get a shirt or two; the kids get complete wardrobes out of this! My in-laws LOVE to shop for bargains...).


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## RobitusinZ (Jun 18, 2009)

My wife is thin, I weigh 350 pounds. She's one of four sisters. Her eldest sister used to berate the shit out of her because I was so fat and ugly, and my wife was so skinny and good-looking. Yet, she's got 3 kids by 2 different guys, been divorced twice and her last man had a 3rd grade education (no lie, he quit school in the Dominican Republic). My wife has been happily married for 7 years, has 2 beautiful kids with the same man, and has every comfort that can be asked for.

Even if your boyfriend wasn't fat, the envious will always envy. Don't worry about it, find your own happiness, and keep on trucking.


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## djudex (Jun 18, 2009)

Next time your dad or mom make a comment about how they don't like you dating a fat guy just ask them if their father-in-law didn't like how his kid married an arrogant twat.

Tact, not my strong suit :blink:


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## JiminOR (Jun 19, 2009)

I'm just thankful that my girlfriends parents don't do this stuff. I'm pretty sure her mom really has a thing against fat people, but they really like me, and they see how happy their daughter is, and how good I am to her, and I think they're just really really happy for her. My weight has never been an issue, not even behind my back.


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## WillSpark (Jun 19, 2009)

Well, on the one hand, maybe if you told them you were bisexual they'd disliek it so much they'd be happy you were comign home with a man, even if he was fat.


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## JenFromOC (Jun 19, 2009)

I love, love, love my family...I wouldn't trade them for anything but HOLY HELL, they give me grief about everything. I always dated really big guys and I heard about it constantly. They were too fat, they weren't educated....blah, blah, blah, blah. Then, when I finally got married...he wasn't even fat. He was a football player and had a college education. It just so happens, he is black. That became the focus....now, 5 years into our relationship, no one mentions that he's black...we have a bigger issue LOL. My mother wants to know why he has a Master's degree and makes less money than I do? I could have married a tall, athletic, white, billionaire and there would have been something drastically wrong with him....I decided that I'll never win and I don't give a shit.


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## Tad (Jun 19, 2009)

JenFromOC said:


> My mother wants to know why he has a Master's degree and makes less money than I do?



psssst, based on my dealings with one extended family member, I'd say that the answer to that is "Because I am totally awesome, and get rewarded for said awesomeness." And to every similar criticism, turn it into a positive. People who always nit-pick seem to thrive on the negatives, defenses, and justifications, and seem to get bored by positives. I call it the "Pollyana defense"


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## Teleute (Jun 19, 2009)

edx said:


> snippity snip, communications awesomeness
> -Ed



Goddamn it Ed, stop saying brilliant things when I can't rep you. It's really annoying.


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## tankgirl (Jun 19, 2009)

Warning: First, I'm opinionated. Second, I am NOT tolerant of bullshit. Third, I have a bad case of "underdog support syndrome," aka, I like supporting underdogs.
With all that in mind, I have some choices for you to think about.

FIRST: Is it WORTH even opening your mouth to defend your choices? As in, can you scream till you turn blue without any noticeable effect, or do they eventually listen?

SECOND: After (apparently) a laundry list of shit, do you STILL feel obligated to put your neck on their chopping block in such fashions as family dinners, or events, or et cetera?

THIRD: Can you have your love and your family too? (BE HONEST!)

FOURTH: Can you think of more than the usual reasons to keep putting up with it? (Usual reasons include, "But they're my FAMILY," and "But I'm the(only/oldest/youngest) child," and the "age" reasons, you prolly get the idea...) As in, do you really LIKE these people? Oh, sure, love em to death, they're (gasp) FAMILY. But DO YOU LIKE THEM???

...Just... think a bit. I read all this pussy lookin stuff about "talk about it" and "share your feelings".... Okay, sure. That works to a point. But what some of you keep missing, is that no matter how much it hurts to remove people from your day-to-day lives, sometimes you kind of HAVE to, just to stay sane. No, that does NOT mean ignore them completely, it just means they see you a lot less. They ever pull their collective heads out, feel free to change that. But I have NEVER seen a good reason to regularly inflict oneself with stupid people, ESPECIALLY when said dumbshits are "FAMILY".

In my opinionated line of thought, your best bet is either have a short, finalized conversation: "This IS better for me" and the like, or just flat tell them it is NOT their business OR problem, and accept no continuances of the conversation. This can be done by leaving the room for a few moments, leaving the house for the night, or just ignoring them.

**Though, if they ask if that's what you really want, if it's that important to you, tell them "YES." Simply, one word, "YES." DO NOT get defensive or try to verbally justify yourself: You are an adult, and no longer have to temporize when cornered by your parents. No need for excuses. You like what you like. The revolting experimental food can stay on the plate.**

If they tell you sommat stupid like "he goes or we do," then just take your man by the arm and excuse yourselves. Beg a headache or early day tomorrow, whatever, but don't stay in the same room as THAT venom.

If you live at home (not clear in original post): A bridge is better than that. Get the heck out.

Yeah, loudmouthed me. Good luck, no matter which road you follow. You can't choose your parents, but you CAN choose how often you interact with them.... and I think TOO many people forget that. *rolls eyes* If *I* had to deal with some of the crap I've read about, I'd have either moved to another city or busted some faces. 
Seriously. Y'all too nice sometimes.

Hope things work out.


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## Teleute (Jun 19, 2009)

Yep, I totally agree that sometimes that IS the best option - but I think it's one that comes after you try working things out the other way. Some people are just never going to accept you or stop giving you shit, and it's best to avoid them, but it's worth trying to talk through the issues first or you can end up ostracizing people who might turn out to be quite good support when everything's out in the open. Of course, that doesn't mean endlessly bashing your head against the wall either.


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## Bafta1 (Jun 19, 2009)

It works the other way too, unfortunately. My Mom constantly has a go at me about liking fat girls. She says she wishes "I were normal"... I'm not even dating.
"They fuck you up, your Mum and Dad. They may not mean to, but they do..." (Larkin)


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## Lizzy... (Jun 19, 2009)

I never even thought until a couple days ago that either of my parents would have a problem with my preference for fat guys. My mom has known for quite a while, but she seems to think it's amusing, and will playfully tease me about it even (which used to annoy me quite a bit), but my dad had never said anything about it before. But he ended up confronting me about it a couple nights ago, and he was so cruel, it was really shocking. We've kind of reached an agreement that neither of us will say anything about it... but what I'm worried about is when I get into a serious relationship. There's no way I could be comfortable bringing a guy home now, I'm not sure if my dad would say anything to a guy's face, but I can't risk it. It's just really depressing to find out how narrow minded and prejudiced my father really is.


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## escapist (Jun 26, 2009)

Lizzy... said:


> I never even thought until a couple days ago that either of my parents would have a problem with my preference for fat guys. My mom has known for quite a while, but she seems to think it's amusing, and will playfully tease me about it even (which used to annoy me quite a bit), but my dad had never said anything about it before. But he ended up confronting me about it a couple nights ago, and he was so cruel, it was really shocking. We've kind of reached an agreement that neither of us will say anything about it... but what I'm worried about is when I get into a serious relationship. There's no way I could be comfortable bringing a guy home now, I'm not sure if my dad would say anything to a guy's face, but I can't risk it. It's just really depressing to find out how narrow minded and prejudiced my father really is.



I don't think you have anything to worry about as long as your Mr. Right is calm cool and self-confident. Most of us BHM's who are happy with who/what we are don't fear the opinion of others. Many of us have dealt with petty parents and family members before. Personally the only thing that has mattered to me is the safety and well being of the person I'm with. If my girls father was so childish and petty as to tease her or I for our choices I don't think think much of him as a man or a father; because a man understands and respects the boundaries and choices of others, and a father raises his children to be successful in life. :bow:


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## Tracii (Jun 26, 2009)

Black/White..Fat/Skinny it makes no difference as long as you are happy in the relationship.Parents can be really mean sometimes when you pick someone they don't think is right for you.
My Daddy said if you love him its OK with me.My Mom is just the opposite nit picks every little thing.


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## Tad (Jun 26, 2009)

Lizzy;

When my wife and I were very first dating, she was really worried about having me meet her Dad, for various 'how will he react to/treat my new BF who I don't want to scare off' reasons. I was fairly amused, because I didn't consider myself subject to being scared off, but I figured it was best to bite my tongue and let her work it out.

She first had me meet her mom, when her dad wasn't home. Mom liked me. Then she pretty much made it clear to Mom that we would not be visiting any time soon because she was worried that Dad would not behave well. At which point Mom made Dad understand that he would not scare me off and he would behave well and so forth. 

Moms rock that way sometimes 

There were never any problems between Dad and I.

I make no guarantee that the same strategy would work for you, but feel free to use it if will help at all.


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## joswitch (Jul 7, 2009)

Teleute said:


> Goddamn it Ed, stop saying brilliant things when I can't rep you. It's really annoying.


repped!:bow:


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## BigChaz (Jul 7, 2009)

I havn't been the "fat boyfriend" to someones parents yet, but I think (hope?) it will happen some day, haha. I get the lectures from my parents though every time I see them on holidays and whatnot. Too fat to get a girl, too fat to get a good job (even though I already have a great job in my chosen career), etc etc.

I've just learned to let all that kinda stuff roll off my shoulders, it's so much easier to go through life at your own pace.


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## fat hiker (Jul 10, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> I havn't been the "fat boyfriend" to someones parents yet, but I think (hope?) it will happen some day, haha. I get the lectures from my parents though every time I see them on holidays and whatnot. Too fat to get a girl, too fat to get a good job (even though I already have a great job in my chosen career), etc etc.
> 
> I've just learned to let all that kinda stuff roll off my shoulders, it's so much easier to go through life at your own pace.



And at your own size!


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## Starsshine (Jul 10, 2009)

I havent been in this situation.
My mom and dad never gave me hell about anything I would do.
They just accepted it when I came home with a 'fat' guy or girl.
They asked me once why.. and I told them that there was just more to love.


Some parents keep forgetting, that as soon as the kids turn 18, the parents are only there to support them. 
You grew up, you've got your own likes and tastes.
A good parent would accept that, knowing they raised you to be a good person, with a good mind.

If they dont, they are not worthy of your time (sounds harsh..I know)

You dont have to explain anything to them.
This is your life and your choice.

If they cant accept it, to bad.. for them.
Because I doubt your tastes will changed because of that.


try not to worry to much... its not worth it.


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## unconventional (Jul 20, 2009)

My parents have made accomodations but at the same time are still getting used to my preference. My last boyfriend was over 400lbs and they were concerned as they call it. I just describe it as saying its like a preference for dark hair over blonde ( i have that too). They have never been rude or said anything to my boyfriends in the past, they are the same as they are to everyone. I just think because my dad is a health nut and my mom is a junk food addict but they both hate being fat they dont see why i prefer it. It doesnt really matter to me what people say to me about my preference, I am quite content and comfortable with who I am and that includes my love for really really big guys!


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## OneHauteMama (Jul 21, 2009)

I actually just "came out" to my mom about preferring BHMs...she was kind of surprised (I guess because I'm a BBW, so she assumes I would want someone smaller than myself...but then I just feel like an Amazon lol). She wasn't unsupportive at all and said "As long as he's healthy and it's not going to cause health problems later on". But, a trim guy can have major health problems, too. I don't think she understands my preference, but she's fine with it. I don't know how my dad will react when I bring someone new to meet them (ya know...when I find someone new lol). He won't make fun or anything, I know that. And I know it doesn't matter to him one iota about size...he'll be more of a "You hurt my daughter, I'll kill you...I still owe the last guy a dirty beating..." lol.

Of both of them, I expected my mom to be the picky one...but she wasn't, so I'm glad of that. Either way, I wouldn't change my preference or be with someone who I'm not attracted to just because it's someone else's idea of what I should be with. Screw 'em. Life's too short to live it according to everyone else's opinion.


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## escapist (Jul 22, 2009)

This is in reply to the last few post....

Being near 500 lbs (just 7 lbs shy) I've seen parents freakout, and I've seen some be cool. Once I was with a woman who was 103 lbs and cute as a button her family made religion the bigger issue. Another was a bit tweaked that I was big but more tweaked that I'm white. In every case I know I was loved first for who I was second for being the big guy that I am. Even a 5'6" 230 lb. woman is a tiny thing to me when you consider I'm near 6'4" and 500 lbs. Not many make me look small. I'll say this it is nice to be accepted 100% though and through, and I think that's all anybody really wants. Granted it will never happen if you don't accept yourself first.


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