# Censorship and Smite's site



## SnapDragon (Mar 8, 2008)

Smite's competition thread, which I think was a valid topic for this site, got closed, and I seem to recall reading another thread started by him on the topic, which has since disappeared. I'm starting to find the overzealous moderation of this board a trifle annoying -- several threads have been shunted into different fora, and it seems to me a bit of a minefield in that posters have to phrase threads in a way to indicate that they are specifically concerned with the BHMFFA aspect in order to avoid being moved. I'm not trying to stir up anything nasty here, I'm merely hoping to register my opinion and perhaps persuade the moderators to be a bit more open minded.

Dimensions the site, and most of these boards, is concerned mainly with the appreciation of BBW. That's great -- big ladies have to put up with enough crap, they deserve a site exclusively for them. But I'm not a large lady or an (sexual) admirer of such, so I only come here to use this particular forum. Asides from a general fat acceptance attitude and support of NAAFA, Dimensions rarely ventures away from the BBWFA community -- this forum is out on the fringes with a bit of overlap. I use this forum because I think it is the best available venue to discuss what I come here to discuss, and also because of loyalty (I was one of the old members of the forum before this one). I never use the other fora here, and I suspect there are plenty of other thin women and fat men who aren't FAs who don't either. There is of course overlap with the FABHM and FFABBW individuals who use the other fora, which is good and enriches the community, and ensures communication between these two communities. Now, I wasn't exactly enamoured of the forum side of Smite's BHMFFA connection site as I think this forum serves the community quite adequately, but one thing this forum is lacking is the other support Smite is offering for this specific community. If you start making umpteen fora all over the place, at best one is going to be used and the others ignored, at worst the community is going to get fractionated. But this board doesn't offer other facilities for this culture.

If someone who is not part of the community comes on here and posts irrelevant remarks and adverts for plastic surgery or some other rubbish, or if some anti-fat fundamentalist comes on here and starts trolling the place, then this is what moderators are for. Ya, I can imagine that moderators do a thankless job, and the site would be in a mess without them. But moderators, please, keep in mind that this is a community, and as a community it needs its own space to develop and grow. A thread that's about feederism/ fantasies/ food/ other topics, when posted by a regular contributor, doesn't necessarily belong on another board, and I think Smite's site should be supported -- as complementary to this forum -- as Dimensions the site and the other fora aren't geared towards fat men and their admirers. This forum is a great forum, but it's not and it shouldn't be an island.

(Saving what I wrote in case it gets censor'd)

-SnapDragon.


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## charlieversion2 (Mar 8, 2008)

*gives standing ovation!* 

People, someone please rep SnapDragon!


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## LillyBBBW (Mar 8, 2008)

Because it's against the rules. There's no advertising or spamming allowed here. If that thread hadn't been closed you would have had a lot of very angry people all over the forums claiming double standard. Yeah it spoils some people's fun but a deal is a deal.


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## Smite (Mar 8, 2008)

I don't believe i've once bashed Dimensions, but i'm not going into depth about it. You can see I appreciate Dimensions because it's the only site worthy of being shown in the sidebar of "Links" on the right hand side. There's a million other communities that could go there, but none really have the feel that I think that DIMS offers BHM's and FFA's. Even if Dims thinks BFC is trash, I will never take that link away, as pretending Dim's doesn't exist is ridiculous, and would prevent people from meeting others...which is what BFC was created for.


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## love dubh (Mar 8, 2008)

The thread was one big personals ad, no matter what is masqueraded as. That's against the rules, and so it was shut-down. You wouldn't know about similar FA-BBW personals threads because, as *you* said, you don't venture to the other boards. They get shut down, too.

There is a romance linkage already at Dimensions.


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## charlieversion2 (Mar 8, 2008)

love dubh said:


> The thread was one big personals ad, no matter what is masqueraded as. That's against the rules, and so it was shut-down. You wouldn't know about similar FA-BBW personals threads because, as *you* said, you don't venture to the other boards. They get shut down, too.
> 
> There is a romance linkage already at Dimensions.



I'm confused by this statement, who said anything about personal ads here?


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## love dubh (Mar 8, 2008)

ChrisVersion2 said:


> I'm confused by this statement, who said anything about personal ads here?



His matchmaking system. The entire purpose of that thread was to hook FAs with BHMs, whether here or from his personal website. Dimensions discourages that here on the boards because they already have a service for that.


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## Smite (Mar 8, 2008)

That'd be correct...if my matchmaking system didn't go up until late last night, and had a whopping member count over 3.


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## charlieversion2 (Mar 8, 2008)

love dubh said:


> His matchmaking system. The entire purpose of that thread was to hook FAs with BHMs, whether here or from his personal website. Dimensions discourages that here on the boards because they already have a service for that.



are you talking about this sentence?


Smite said:


> I'm needing some help though...what do people want? I figured a matchmaking software would be ideal, but that's something to look to the future towards so


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## Crumbling (Mar 8, 2008)

Having this whole thing escalate into a flame war is utterly counterproductive and helps no-one.


Upon registration a user agrees not to "_post any messages that are obscene, vulgar, sexually-oriented, hateful, threatening, or otherwise violative of any laws_."

These are the only guidelines a user has as to the nature of their posts.

Other 'Rules' are policies that are enacted by the moderators as is allowed for and explained with the statement. 

"_The owners of Dimensions Forums reserve the right to remove, edit, move or close any thread for any reason_."

You agreed to be moderated when you signed up

That Said...

A lot of people get slapped down very hard all over the boards, and I'm talking about new users here, for breaking what are literally unwritten rules.

I'm not saying that they are without merit, but, if they are policy, they should be written down somewhere. Either in the usage agreement or as part of the FAQs. This gives users (particularly new users) a reference and more importantly it lends support to the moderators when they are enacting policy.





> Forum Rules
> 
> Registration to the Dimensions forum is free! We do insist that you are 18 or of legal age wherever you are (whichever is older) and abide by the rules and policies detailed below. If you agree to the terms, please check the 'I agree' checkbox and press the 'Register' button below. If you would like to cancel the registration, click here to return to the forums index.
> 
> ...


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## LoveBHMS (Mar 8, 2008)

I can honestly see both sides of this.

On one hand, there have been numerous posts that have been changed by moderators if they are written as solicitations for dates. i.e. "Are there any SSBBW in the Miami area who want to meet?" It is mentioned repeatedly that that this is not a dating site.

OTOH, there have also been numerous threads about online dating, particularly to fat women, and there are typically mentions of what sites different women have used and have had, or not have had good luck meeting FAs. I don't know that that overtly "promotes" the site, but if a SSBBW said "I posted an add on www.ssbbwdates.com and met several nice men" it seems likely that whomever reads that might try the site.

I realize in this case he was actively promoting it, however, if it is going to be repeatedly mentioned that Dims is not a dating site, than I can't understand how promoting a dating site is harming this one.

Of course, the mods' judgement is final, according to the rules, so if you post here you have to follow that whether or not you agree with a particular decision.


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## Fatgator (Mar 8, 2008)

If we do not run the site, why can't just "normal" posters on this forum mention that other site? I kind of figured Dimensions and BFC would kind of work in conjunction with each other. 

This site was created for the promotion of fat acceptance all across the board as well as a place where all of us can talk and converse with those that are like-minded. 

The BFC is a perfect site with the right name. Now, when new admirers of the BHM/FFA variety are looking for sites on the web that match their cuiosities and likes, they can simply type in bhm or ffa or something, and that BFC website will usually pop up...it makes it a lot easier to find what they're looking. If anything, I'd think that would help more people come to Dimensions, because I'm sure they would go to BFC, and see a link for Dimensions, as well as if any posters/chatters mention Dims on the BFC site, and look at Dimensions and maybe join it. If that makes any sense.

I think both sites are great and BOTH should be promoted and made well aware of. I think people are worrying too much about competition and forgetting the reasons these sites are made.


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## Blackjack (Mar 8, 2008)

Missaf's post made one point that really ought to be reiterated:



missaf said:


> *Solicitations for memberships to other boards is also not allowed.*


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## Fatgator (Mar 8, 2008)

What if it's not to a "board". It's another website...nothing wrong with joining another website. Besides, like I said, if the 2 sites were to work kind of in conjunction with each other, it'd be mutually beneficial for all.


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## AnnMarie (Mar 8, 2008)

Fatgator said:


> What if it's not to a "board". It's another website...nothing wrong with joining another website. Besides, like I said, if the 2 sites were to work kind of in conjunction with each other, it'd be mutually beneficial for all.



I'm answering not as a mod, this is not my board and missaf has addressed everything dead-on, but any site/community overlap like there would be here has been against the rules since the boards started. 

It's just not polite or appropriate to advertise your party at another person's gathering. It's not an issue of anyone here not wanting the BHM/FFA community to thrive and grow in all ways it would like, but there is a propriety that has been a bit lacking (the comment about his chat being vastly superior? Cheap shot when you're in someone else's house). 

If someone would like to establish the sharing type of thing you're talking about, then you approach the owner of this site and discuss it directly to get his take/interst level, etc. It's only polite to ask your host for permission, and a basic show of respect for Conrad.

And as a mod, we don't make the rules, they are NEVER up to us, we enforce the rules set up by the owner. That's it.


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## Fatgator (Mar 8, 2008)

Who mentioned that the BFC chat was vastly superior?

Personally, that's one thing I don't understand. None of the BHMs or FFAs ever went into the chat on here...but that site gets made, and some of them go chat there. Not that it's bad or anything, it's just one of those things you know? They have a chat here but don't use it, so it takes a whole nother site chat to chat in?


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## Smite (Mar 8, 2008)

I did, but not on purpose. That was an honest mistake on my part, and I wasn't thinking. But this is getting blown out of proportion. My idea was never to harm DIMs. I made a mistake advertising. That's it. That's why I haven't advertised it _myself_. 

The last thing I want is this petty argument getting in the way of any "friendships" or anything. I have no control over my members. If they decided to build a thread talking about it, that's fine. But don't cheap shot me. As far as i'm concerned, i've followed what missaf has told me.

The attitude here and at the unspeakable place is different. DIMs is more mature, relaxed, and established. I'm just a dumb teenager who made a site and has a big mouth.


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## Surlysomething (Mar 8, 2008)

Yet we have a Paysite forum in this site.

Interesting.

from the Paysite rules-"Instead, it is meant, just like Dimensions itself, to be a place where plus-size people and their admirers meet on some common interest"


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## Smite (Mar 8, 2008)

missaf said:


> I don't see anyone demeaning you




Saying i'm solicitating people to go to that place is pretty demeaning.


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## Risible (Mar 8, 2008)

Crumbling said:


> Having this whole thing escalate into a flame war is utterly counterproductive and helps no-one.
> 
> 
> Upon registration a user agrees not to "_post any messages that are obscene, vulgar, sexually-oriented, hateful, threatening, or otherwise violative of any laws_."
> ...



Many of the forums have stickys that elaborate on the rules for that specific forum.

If someone, even a new member, got "slapped down very hard," I doubt that his/her offense could have been defended by blaming the lack of rules.


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## Blackjack (Mar 9, 2008)

Surlysomething said:


> Yet we have a Paysite forum in this site.
> 
> Interesting.
> 
> from the Paysite rules-"Instead, it is meant, just like Dimensions itself, to be a place where plus-size people and their admirers meet on some common interest"



The purpose of the paysites is to sell something that goes along with the theme of the board. There's also other sites linked in other areas that sell plus-sized clothing, etc.

Those offer services. They're not entirely separate communities.


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## Surlysomething (Mar 9, 2008)

Blackjack said:


> The purpose of the paysites is to sell something that goes along with the theme of the board. There's also other sites linked in other areas that sell plus-sized clothing, etc.
> 
> Those offer services. They're not entirely separate communities.


 

Really? Because I think the Connection site is offering a service to FFA's and BHM's regarding personals. Something that Dims doesn't do so there's no competition there.

And the paysites don't appeal to me so where's the service in that? I don't see any men selling anything.


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## Fatgator (Mar 9, 2008)

missaf said:


> Dimensions has a personals service. If it doesn't fit your needs, that's fine, please use something that does. That doesn't mean, though, that advertisements for that site will be allowed or promoted here.



Why not? The purpose of these websites is to help BHMs and FFAs interact with each other, whether it be as friends or lovers. The goal of both sites is to help people get to know each other.

The "no promotions or ads" rule is all politics. I'm thinking some people are losing the idea of these websites, and looking straight at the money.


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## Fatgator (Mar 9, 2008)

missaf said:


> The reasoning behind why advertisements are not permitted is plain, clear, and non-political. Think what you like, but the rule is not changing.
> 
> Have some respect for a man who runs this board at a loss every year, and has for over two decades.



Be that as it may...the point of the sites is for us to talk and meet each other.


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## Fatgator (Mar 9, 2008)

You know what, why not at least have ONE thread open where we can all post BHM/FFA websites that we know about? I mean the links in the Link section are nice, but I'm not sure many people look at them...people notice sites that are mentioned in posts. At least have one thread open so we can post something in that about another site. That way we can open eyes to other places to meet people and you don't have a ton of threads open throughout the board.


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## Webmaster (Mar 9, 2008)

The Dimensions Matching System IS actually perhaps the most personalized system of its kind. I spent months tweaking and tuning it for our community. I mean, where else can you specify preferences and size and such, AND have your own personal bulletin board with every person you meet? Unfortunately that was back in 2002 and we lost part of the functionality during the crash of 2002 and then some more during the crash of 2007. But, though unsupervised, it is still there.

Anyway, feel free to discuss any other board or website out there. Dimensions is a community, a safe haven, a place for us, whether we are fat or like fat, no matter what gender we are. That includes discussing things that interest us or places that have something to offer to us. The only thing I ask that people do not do is advertise other sites and try too siphon off people. That'd be poor form.



Surlysomething said:


> Really? Because I think the Connection site is offering a service to FFA's and BHM's regarding personals. Something that Dims doesn't do so there's no competition there.
> 
> And the paysites don't appeal to me so where's the service in that? I don't see any men selling anything.


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## LalaCity (Mar 9, 2008)

That bit about not posting any sexually-oriented comments...heh...

...that's all we do here!


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## Smite (Mar 9, 2008)

Webmaster said:


> The Dimensions Matching System IS actually perhaps the most personalized system of its kind. I spent months tweaking and tuning it for our community. I mean, where else can you specify preferences and size and such, AND have your own personal bulletin board with every person you meet? Unfortunately that was back in 2002 and we lost part of the functionality during the crash of 2002 and then some more during the crash of 2007. But, though unsupervised, it is still there.




And DMS is a great system that you should be proud of it. 

If I ever came off as trying to siphon other people, then I do apologize.

If you ever want to have a chat you can certainly get in contact with me. I would love to work something out if that's something that you would even want to do. This is obviously going to be a see-saw between your dedicated members and the members of both here and BFC who embrace that other place. But the fact that you guys have allowed this thread to remain open and allow people to vent their frustrations shows that you guy's care.

You might not believe it, but I looked to see what system DMS was built off of because I was impressed by it. Sure it's not exactly flashy or amazing looking, but it get's the job done. In fact, perhaps a "partnership" we could one day work out is replacing that "Personals" part of my site to a direct link to DMS? These are just thoughts I would love to talk out.


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## Surlysomething (Mar 9, 2008)

Webmaster said:


> The Dimensions Matching System IS actually perhaps the most personalized system of its kind. I spent months tweaking and tuning it for our community. I mean, where else can you specify preferences and size and such, AND have your own personal bulletin board with every person you meet? Unfortunately that was back in 2002 and we lost part of the functionality during the crash of 2002 and then some more during the crash of 2007. But, though unsupervised, it is still there.
> 
> Anyway, feel free to discuss any other board or website out there. Dimensions is a community, a safe haven, a place for us, whether we are fat or like fat, no matter what gender we are. That includes discussing things that interest us or places that have something to offer to us. The only thing I ask that people do not do is advertise other sites and try too siphon off people. That'd be poor form.


 
That makes sense. I don't think Smite meant any harm. It would be different if he was asking us for money for his site, etc. 

(Dims matching system didn't work for me AT ALL)


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## Webmaster (Mar 9, 2008)

Well, we DO have chat.  It is at chat.dimensionsmagazine.com and specifically has a BHM/FFA section. Not my fault that no one here uses this facility I made available. 

As for DMS, it HAD the makings of a great system but like I said, it crashed days before it was supposed to go online in its final form and I never maintained it after that. 



Smite said:


> And DMS is a great system that you should be proud of it.
> 
> If I ever came off as trying to siphon other people, then I do apologize.
> 
> ...


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## Smite (Mar 9, 2008)

Erm I meant chat as in a friendly conversation. My bad, hah


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## stefanie (Mar 9, 2008)

Fatgator said:


> You know what, why not at least have ONE thread open where we can all post BHM/FFA websites that we know about?



I would find that useful, especially if it was a "sticky."


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## Smite (Mar 9, 2008)

I(Chat) do(Chat) agree(Chat) on(Chat) that(Chat) being(Chat) a(Chat) good(Chat) idea(Chat).


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## cammy (Mar 9, 2008)

My observations of DIMS has lead me to believe there is a blatant double standard. Anything is ok as long as it involves the BBWs and FAs, but BHMs and thin FFAs are tolerated only on the BHM/FFA Forum and only if we keep to mindless chatter and photos. 

As an aside, I'm very bothered by the promotion of the paysites. They do nothing to promote "size acceptance," these sites are simply a venue of exploitation of women - by women. I find it sad.


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## Scott (Mar 9, 2008)

Hi Everybody,
I know I'm new around here, so I'll keep my comments short. I just re-read this whole thread, and I think it's pretty clear that nobody means anyone any disrespect or harm. It was pretty much a misunderstanding.
Unfortunately, the best way to perpetuate a misunderstanding is to continually go back and forth over it. It's like too many cooks in the kitchen, where everyone (including myself, clearly!) weighs in with their opinion, until the original point gets lost and we're mired in "he said, she said."
The best thing to do, I think, would be to ease off of this topic, and continue on with other postings. Everyone on this board wants what is best for the BHM/FFA community, that's not in question. So let's get back to having fun, and enjoying the conversation. Yes?

Scott


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## cammy (Mar 9, 2008)

Scott said:


> Hi Everybody,
> I know I'm new around here, so I'll keep my comments short. I just re-read this whole thread, and I think it's pretty clear that nobody means anyone any disrespect or harm. It was pretty much a misunderstanding.
> Unfortunately, the best way to perpetuate a misunderstanding is to continually go back and forth over it. It's like too many cooks in the kitchen, where everyone (including myself, clearly!) weighs in with their opinion, until the original point gets lost and we're mired in "he said, she said."
> The best thing to do, I think, would be to ease off of this topic, and continue on with other postings. Everyone on this board wants what is best for the BHM/FFA community, that's not in question. So let's get back to having fun, and enjoying the conversation. Yes?
> ...



I repeat - only if we we stick to mindless chatter, are we good to go.


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## likeitmatters (Mar 10, 2008)

That Said...

A lot of people get slapped down very hard all over the boards, and I'm talking about new users here, for breaking what are literally unwritten rules.

I'm not saying that they are without merit, but, if they are policy, they should be written down somewhere. Either in the usage agreement or as part of the FAQs. This gives users (particularly new users) a reference and more importantly it lends support to the moderators when they are enacting policy.


so depending on the mood of the mod, it can be "shut down"..is that what you are saying about closing a thread? that a thread can be shut down for whatever reason..... I still feel all the rules should be written down or at least..not at the discretion of the mod, 

thank you


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## Webmaster (Mar 10, 2008)

I am not sure what all the hostility is all about. BHMs and FFAs have been included since I started the original FASIG in 1984 and then Dimensions in 1987. The print magazine even had a dedicated BHM/FFA columnist whenever I could find one. When I added Dimensions Online in 1995 and then bulletin boards, we had a BHM/FFA board even back then. When I set up the current streaming chat back in 2002, I included a BHM/FFA board. Anyone suggesting that we exclude BHMs or FFAs obviously doesn't know me. And if anyone wants to volunteer for anything to advance the BHM/FFA cause at Dimensions, I am all ears.

As for rules, some is spelled out, some is just common sense. I am not much for rules. As far as I am concerned, people should be kind to one another, discussion should be on topic, there should be no personal attacks, that sort of stuff.


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## PolarKat (Mar 10, 2008)

Webmaster said:


> I am not sure what all the hostility is all about. BHMs and FFAs have been included since I started the original FASIG in 1984 and then Dimensions in 1987.



The "hostility" you're detecting isn't directed at you, there's subjects that invoke indifference/sarcastic/hostile reaction from some of the main board memebers. any time these issues or topics are brought up, the trolling begins.


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## Kazak (Mar 11, 2008)

Webmaster said:


> I am not sure what all the hostility is all about. BHMs and FFAs have been included since I started the original FASIG in 1984 and then Dimensions in 1987. The print magazine even had a dedicated BHM/FFA columnist whenever I could find one. When I added Dimensions Online in 1995 and then bulletin boards, we had a BHM/FFA board even back then. When I set up the current streaming chat back in 2002, I included a BHM/FFA board. Anyone suggesting that we exclude BHMs or FFAs obviously doesn't know me. And if anyone wants to volunteer for anything to advance the BHM/FFA cause at Dimensions, I am all ears.
> 
> As for rules, some is spelled out, some is just common sense. I am not much for rules. As far as I am concerned, people should be kind to one another, discussion should be on topic, there should be no personal attacks, that sort of stuff.



thank you mr. dims creator. if it wasnt for this site i wouldn't even know that ffa's exist. i'm not posting to take one side or the other. i'm a member of both sites but wouldnt know anything about any of this if dims wasnt here. so again i want to personaly thank you mr. creator.


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