# Weight vs. Workout



## Suze (Sep 5, 2008)

I work out regularely 2 times a week and have been doing this for about 6 months. I never thought I would say this, but I love it! It puts me in such a good mood and gives me confidence to see what I'm capable of. I decided to go for a personal trainer since I only have experience with outdoor sports and didn't want to injure myself.

Only problem is...ever since I first started my trainer has asked me about "my goals" and strongly hinting about my weight. I have been vague on this and haven't said anything specific since I want to stay at the weight I am now, but at the same time feel fit and have a good health!

How do I say to her that I want to stay at the weight I am? I know it sounds silly, but I'm afraid I'm going to let her down. She has set up an eating plan for me (that I don't excactly follow) and insist on weighing me every week (I absolutely hate that).

I'm thinking about quitting and do my own thing after Christmas, but until then I would love to get some advice on what I can do and say to her! Especially now since she want to speed up the process :O


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## corbinFA (Sep 5, 2008)

Don't let what she wants take over your feelings about it. Take what you can from a trainer, remember it, and let her go when you're ready. There is no reason to feel guilty about this if you're paying the person. My advice is to be front with her about your position, even though it might seem awkward.


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## Risible (Sep 5, 2008)

Be upfront with her. She works for you - not the other way around. Say, "I'm pursuing fitness, not weight loss." If she argues the point, you can say something like, "Perhaps we're not a fit, you and I. Should I find another personal trainer?" That's not a threat, BTW, that's fact finding.

Me, I've said, "I'm not here to lose weight. I'm here to exercise." Said with confidence, and looking them directly in the eye, I haven't gotten argument.

Remember, a personal trainer is someone you pay to help you with your goals - not to meekly acquiesce to their notion of fitness.


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## Suze (Sep 11, 2008)

thanks, guys. i hope i can build up the courage soon. i like her a lot as a person and highly doubt she is the type to say something hurtful/rude, so i guess i should just go for it!


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## olwen (Sep 11, 2008)

I agree. Don't let her bully you into doing things you don't want to do. She works for you not the other way around. And if she tells you to do an exercise that causes you pain anywhere in any way, then stop. Don't let her give you any bs about working thru the pain. It can lead to serious injuries later. If you tell her that there are movements you can't do and she doesn't respect that and find another way for you to move then she isn't a good trainer and you should definitely find a new one. I'd recommend asking around to see if your gym has any trainers who are studying physical fitness or sports medicine or who already have degrees in any of those fields. And I'd stay away from trainers who are professional dancers. Personal experience has taught me that dancers don't make good trainers for fat people. They just aren't familiar with how to deal with limited movement. You should also ask any potential trainers if they have worked with actual fat people before. It sounds like a silly question, but it's proved to be a very helpful question for me. Good luck.


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## No-No-Badkitty (Sep 12, 2008)

I know how you feel. It seems that every day that I am at the gym someone "congratulates" me for starting an exercise routine. Okay...I can deal with that...then they go on to say something like "I used to way 385 pounds and then I started exercising...yadda yadda yadda..."
I've had to tell several of them, I'm not there to loose weight, I'm there to tone up and increase my stamina and strength...and yes I enjoy it too.
Funny thing is, since I have started I haven't lost a freaking pound....


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## Tad (Sep 12, 2008)

NNBKitty: but have you noticed a difference in the fit of your clothes? Your body may be defending its weight, but it probably doesn't mind replacing fat with muscle, which is denser and distributed differently.


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## EpsilonCool (Sep 12, 2008)

susieQ said:


> I never thought I would say this, but I love it!




Good for you, I would say enjoyment itself is a worthy achievement and a goal most people can't manage.

How many people go to the gym because they feel they ought to rather than because they enjoy it!

Weight/size is irrelevant unless it stops you doing something that you want to do. I emphasize the YOU in the previous sentence.


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## Happy FA (Sep 12, 2008)

I have been working out in various ways at the health club for many years, probably more than a decade. In that time my weight has not moved much, but my degree of fitness has varied. It has improved when I exercised within my capabilities and without doing things until my body started to break down. It has gotten worse when for whatever reason I didn't keep up a good exercise regimen for some period of time(usually because I did too much and injured myself).

My weight seems to move independently of the ways or amount that I work out. When I am working out and moving more my weight tends to stay pretty much exactly where it happens to be at that point. Pretty much independent of the level of exertion and exercise. I suspect it is related to the fact that my body demands more nutrients(Ben & Jerry's ice cream and ribeye steaks have nutrients, right?), when I work my body harder. When I tend to slack off from working out I find that my weight often drifts one way or the other, but clearly not always higher.

The things that I do find closely related and correlated to my working out more are a greater sense of feeling good, strong, more flexible, better rested and happier. I also note that moving around in the real world, dashing up flights of stairs(at almost 350 that's a lot of me to bound up and down multiple flights of stairs to catch a train or get back to the train station parking lot), walking on the street and general end of the day energy are all enhanced when I have been working out regularly.

While I don't usually use a trainer to help me with my workouts I would second, third and fourth what the others have said. The trainer is someone who works for you, at your sufferance. Pushing you to workout better and stronger and longer(if safely) is a part of their job. Pushing you to meet their agenda about weight loss if that isn't part of your plan isn't. There is a burgeoning body of literature about the HAES(pronounced Hayes- and meaning Health At Every Size) approach to enhancing one's well being. Much of that literature finds that you can make improvements in your fitness without losing weight, which is a very good thing since the likelihood of maintaining any weight loss(however accomplished) is vanishingly small.


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## No-No-Badkitty (Sep 12, 2008)

edx said:


> NNBKitty: but have you noticed a difference in the fit of your clothes? Your body may be defending its weight, but it probably doesn't mind replacing fat with muscle, which is denser and distributed differently.




Not really, but I have noticed that my legs look toner...but that's about it.


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## Tad (Sep 12, 2008)

No-No-Badkitty said:


> Not really, but I have noticed that my legs look toner...but that's about it.



OK, now ask your husband......odds on, he'll notice small changes more than you will! 

(although be warned that be sure of such changes may sometimes require more...thorough....investigations of the body in question....)


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## EvilPrincess (Sep 13, 2008)

I have been hitting the pool for water aerobics 2 or 3 times a week, the only time I miss is when I have work obligations (travel or client meetings). Been doing this for months, I love it. I am definitely the biggest woman at the gym. Of the group that are regulars, very few are there for weightloss, most of us are there to keep and improve mobility, work on our fitness levels, and to have fun. Occasionally one of the trainers will stop me and ask me if I want someone to work with me. I politely say no, and go about my business. The biggest thing I have noticed at this point is that I have more strength in my legs and arms and my back is more stable. I am still a superzized person and no weight loss, but I am more fit


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## sweet&fat (Sep 13, 2008)

Most trainers are conditioned to see weight loss as the primary goal for people who are fat. I've been working out for years, and have met many. If your trainer keeps pushing you, get another trainer. I love mine- we work on strength and endurance (do we ever! lunges, push-ups, squats, situps... ouch!), but she never says a word about weight. She still has a conventional attitude about lots of things, but she completely recognizes that you can be big and healthy. She's great! 




susieQ said:


> I work out regularely 2 times a week and have been doing this for about 6 months. I never thought I would say this, but I love it! It puts me in such a good mood and gives me confidence to see what I'm capable of. I decided to go for a personal trainer since I only have experience with outdoor sports and didn't want to injure myself.
> 
> Only problem is...ever since I first started my trainer has asked me about "my goals" and strongly hinting about my weight. I have been vague on this and haven't said anything specific since I want to stay at the weight I am now, but at the same time feel fit and have a good health!
> 
> ...


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## tonynyc (Sep 14, 2008)

It's great to see everyone enjoying their workouts - that is important and as far as the trainers ... as long as they understand what your goals are..

1. it's about changing the 'lifestyle' on not being so focused on what the 'scales' say then you will get great results. 

2. Any Fitness goals as long as you see it as a 'marathon' and not a 'foot race' you'll definitely achieve your results.

3. And thinking outside the box as far as different types of routines to try to prevent boredom. It's very easy to become 'stale' with a fitness routine if things aren't changed up on a regular basis. 

The nutritional aspects is such an individual thing and I've had to be very creative to make the most 'healthiest' food tasty. If it's not tasty- I would not even follow the diet. 

1. Look at Oatmeal.. I mean one would have to really tough it out to eat a bowl oatmeal plain or only with some sugar and milk. I have to sprinkle some granulated brown sugar and dried fruits ( cranberries - dates- raisins etc). 

2. I've looked at some of the bodybuilding recipes and even made the omletes with just egg whites. I would have to use 4-5 eggs ;but, would then grate some cheddar cheese- smoked ham - diced peppers and onions. Now I've found the texture of the omlete to be very light -but, again the 'fillings' made all the difference as far as taste.


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## olwen (Sep 14, 2008)

When I was lifting weights I ate A LOT of egg whites. I sometimes bought the containers of egg whites from the health food store. I got really creative with them too. Sometimes I ate them for breakfast mixed in with some brown rice and seaweed. I had to kind of wean myself off egg whites after I stopped lifting cause I found I was getting sick of them, but sometimes I still feel like I need them. 

Since I hurt my rotator cuff I've dropped the number of times I workout significantly. My body is starting to rebel. I'm getting sooooooooo bored from the elliptical, but till I'm healed....ugh. Waaaaah, I miss my workouts.


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## tonynyc (Sep 14, 2008)

olwen said:


> Since I hurt my rotator cuff I've dropped the number of times I workout significantly. My body is starting to rebel. I'm getting sooooooooo bored from the elliptical, but till I'm healed....ugh. Waaaaah, I miss my workouts.



*Hi Olwen:
I've also gone through two rotator cuff surgeries - you do get most of your strength -but, it's a long process. Now did the physical therapist start you on a modified 'stretching' program. 
*



Happy FA said:


> The things that I do find closely related and correlated to my working out more are a greater sense of feeling good, strong, more flexible, better rested and happier. I also note that moving around in the real world, dashing up flights of stairs(at almost 350 that's a lot of me to bound up and down multiple flights of stairs to catch a train or get back to the train station parking lot), walking on the street and general end of the day energy are all enhanced when I have been working out regularly.




*
How about the new found strength to stop those closing subway doors on it's tracks *


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## tonynyc (Sep 14, 2008)

sweet&fat said:


> Most trainers are conditioned to see weight loss as the primary goal for people who are fat. I've been working out for years, and have met many. If your trainer keeps pushing you, get another trainer. I love mine- we work on strength and endurance (do we ever! lunges, push-ups, squats, situps... ouch!), but she never says a word about weight. She still has a conventional attitude about lots of things, but she completely recognizes that you can be big and healthy. She's great!



*What a great find -Sounds like you have a great trainer that is focusing more on lifestyle than the 'weight scales'. *


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## olwen (Sep 14, 2008)

tonynyc said:


> *Hi Olwen:
> I've also gone through two rotator cuff surgeries - you do get most of your strength -but, it's a long process. Now did the physical therapist start you on a modified 'stretching' program.
> *



I didn't have to have surgery luckily. My ortho gave me an exercise to do, which works well. Problem is I got antsy and decided to do it with a body bar instead of a broom and that set me back, then it improved, then I decided to go to pilates and that set me back, so I have to take it easy. And with the arthritis in my knee I'm really limited in what I can do for exercise and it's getting really frustrating. It's been about four months and I'm just starting to go nuts. I really really want to do the exercises I miss doing like swimming and pilates and I wanted to start boxing regularly. So much for that.


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## Suze (Sep 15, 2008)

sorry for the late respond...wish i could quote more people, but i have some "internet issues" right now.


olwen said:


> I agree. Don't let her bully you into doing things you don't want to do. She works for you not the other way around. And if she tells you to do an exercise that causes you pain anywhere in any way, then stop. Don't let her give you any bs about working thru the pain. It can lead to serious injuries later. If you tell her that there are movements you can't do and she doesn't respect that and find another way for you to move then she isn't a good trainer and you should definitely find a new one. I'd recommend asking around to see if your gym has any trainers who are studying physical fitness or sports medicine or who already have degrees in any of those fields. And I'd stay away from trainers who are professional dancers. Personal experience has taught me that dancers don't make good trainers for fat people. They just aren't familiar with how to deal with limited movement. You should also ask any potential trainers if they have worked with actual fat people before. It sounds like a silly question, but it's proved to be a very helpful question for me. Good luck.


She has worked with (many) fat people before. I have never felt she pushed me over my own limit...even if she makes me work damn hard sometimes! I really like her, sometimes I wish I didn't. I think that would have made this stuff easier I know she works for me, but at the same time i am sure she takes pride in what she does and want to have the best results as possible. 

I am actually heading over there tomorrow and she has told me she has made a meal plan for me (intended for weight loss, i'm sure.) I'm such a chicken...I wish I could just tell her that I want to stay this weight. 

PS:
She has never told me you should weigh this or that. It's always about my own personal goals...Goals I should be a lot clearer about 
and thanks!



sweet&fat said:


> Most trainers are conditioned to see weight loss as the primary goal for people who are fat. I've been working out for years, and have met many. If your trainer keeps pushing you, get another trainer. I love mine- we work on strength and endurance (do we ever! lunges, push-ups, squats, situps... ouch!), but she never says a word about weight. She still has a conventional attitude about lots of things, but she completely recognizes that you can be big and healthy. She's great!


situps= hell. 
She's not excactly pushing me...some of this is def my own fault since I haven't been clear about what I want out of this. I'm glad you are enjoying your trainer!

ugh. I can't believe it's so difficult to just say I'm happy about the way I look.


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## olwen (Sep 15, 2008)

Dunno susie....I would just be plain offended if my trainer decided to hit me up with a meal plan without asking me about it. Especially since I have so many food allergies. She'd get a big ole fuck you straight from my ass. Okay, I wouldn't say fuck you, but I'd certainly start an argument. 

The trainer I had was great because she asked me if I wanted dietary recommendations and I told her no and we never discussed it again. I even told her I knew I could do X amount of exercise and that expecting me to move like a skinny person just wasn't going to happen and to train me accordingly. 

Would it help if you wrote down your expectations and had it with you if you do eventually get around to telling her what you really want?


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## Suze (Sep 15, 2008)

olwen said:


> Dunno susie....I would just be plain offended if my trainer decided to hit me up with a meal plan without asking me about it. Especially since I have so many food allergies. She'd get a big ole fuck you straight from my ass. Okay, I wouldn't say fuck you, but I'd certainly start an argument.
> 
> The trainer I had was great because she asked me if I wanted dietary recommendations and I told her no and we never discussed it again. I even told her I knew I could do X amount of exercise and that expecting me to move like a skinny person just wasn't going to happen and to train me accordingly.
> 
> Would it help if you wrote down your expectations and had it with you if you do eventually get around to telling her what you really want?



you know what? that is a great idea. i will try to do that before our next meet this week. (tomorrow is a little to early ....i need to think this thru.)

i know i defend my coach a lot... i try not to be too hard on her because i havent been 100% honest from the start. 
when she asked about my goals,*I* was the one who brought up weight loss because i thought it was expected of me. :blush:
thanks everyone, it has been uplifting to see im not the only one who wants to work out this way. 

(i eat a lot of eggs as well. it is getting a little frustrating sometimes...haha.)


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## Suze (Sep 15, 2008)

edx said:


> OK, now ask your husband......odds on, he'll notice small changes more than you will!
> 
> (although be warned that be sure of such changes may sometimes require more...thorough....investigations of the body in question....)



perv. 

but you are right. i havent dropped a pound (well ok, in the beginning....but i gained a lot in a short period of time in jan/feb so maybe it was natural to get rid of it since i didnt gain it the healthy way..eh...or something.)

still though, im more toned now and you can suddenly see my collar bone.
my dress size stays the same, though!

i bet this must be very anti-hawt for you to listen too


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## Tad (Sep 16, 2008)

susieQ said:


> still though, im more toned now and you can suddenly see my collar bone.
> my dress size stays the same, though!
> 
> i bet this must be very anti-hawt for you to listen too



Wrong!

Bodies are sexy, but bodies in motion most especially. Changes are awesome too, especially when they are happy changes. And fat over muscle on women is quite :wubu: for me.

Basically "I hate being fat, I want to lose fat" yah, something of a turn off. But "I want to get stronger, to get in shape, to have more endurance" well YAH! (not that it is a particular special turn on, just a general good thing).


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## lypeaches (Sep 26, 2008)

OK, so I just had to share....

For about a year, I've been lap swimming pretty regularly...say 4 times a week on average. In the last two months, I decided to up my game, mixing in weight lifting and a little treadmill action. When I first started doing the treadmill, I did it's "fitness test", and my fitness rating was "poor". Which kind of made me laugh, as in, No sh*t. Anyway, last night I did it again, and I moved up, scoring "below average". Never have I been so excited to be rated below average . I'm striving for "average". 

I've found the weight training has actually really helped my swimming. The swimming is the only exercise I truly enjoy, but I definitely feel better and stronger doing all three. It's good to mix it up a bit, helps keep it from getting too boring.


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## olwen (Sep 27, 2008)

pilates + swimming is really good too. Talk about sore. Ouch.


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## Shosh (Sep 27, 2008)

I am working out to keep my weight stable, not to lose any. I am also working out to keep my body as well as I can as I fight this condition.

They believe that exercise can also help to slow the aging process.


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## prettysteve (Sep 27, 2008)

Miss Susannah : You look great to me. It doesn't look like you need to work out that much at all. I haven't worked out all in a year because my metabolism is too fast for my own good. Ever time I eat a whole pizza or french fries it seems like I lose about 50 lbs. Ouch!!:doh:

From your chocolate colored phat admirer: pretty steve, 





Susannah said:


> I am working out to keep my weight stable, not to lose any. I am also working out to keep my body as well as I can as I fight this condition.
> 
> They believe that exercise can also help to slow the aging process.


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## Shosh (Sep 27, 2008)

prettysteve said:


> Miss Susannah : You look great to me. It doesn't look like you need to work out that much at all. I haven't worked out all in a year because my metabolism is too fast for my own good. Ever time I eat a whole pizza or french fries it seems like I lose about 50 lbs. Ouch!!:doh:
> 
> From your chocolate colored phat admirer: pretty steve,




Hi Steve,

Thank you.

As I said working out for me is not about weight loss, but just keeping it stable, and keeping as well as I can.

I think even if you are thin it is good to work out to keep your body and organs healthy, namely your heart, your lungs, liver funtion, kidneys, everything.

I love pizza meanwhile, but I love homemade best.

My sister makes a yummy pizza with feta cheese, onion, tomato and pineapple. I prefer it as I find the shop pizza too oily.


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## No-No-Badkitty (Sep 27, 2008)

I have a work out brag...a little one... 
I am now lifting 340lbs on the leg lift machine now!!!


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