# The most painful feeling in the world



## KittyKitten (Aug 15, 2013)

The most painful feeling in the world other than the death of a loved one is the feeling of unrequited love. That hurts like a b*tch! Makes you want to just crumple down on the floor and pull your hair out and cry. 

You feel worthless. You feel ugly. You feel unlovable.

There's nothing more painful than loving a person that you feel doesn't love you as much as you love him/her. And people say to move on, how can you move on from such a strong emotion? You can't control these deep feelings. 

I've been so in love with this man for such a long time like no other. His looks. His voice. His intelligence. Everything! Something about him. The feeling is so intense that it is hard to want any one else.


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## KittyKitten (Aug 15, 2013)

He doesn't have someone else, nor is he not attracted to me(the sexual attraction is strong between the both of us) but the problem is he works alot and I mean ALOT. I seem to be attracting workaholic guys lately, never used to be like that. Perhaps this economy is making us work like dogs? Still, you can't help the feeling of loving a person, you just can't snap out of it immediately. Thanks for the hugs!


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## Ruffie (Aug 16, 2013)

It is very painful I will agree. I have been there and all I can say to you is that it will lessen in time. Cry it out, journal, talk with friends and keep yourself busy. In time you will come to realize the reasons why it cannot work between the two of you and you will be able to open your heart to someone that truly loves and cherishes you. I have been married now for soon to be 28 years and when I look at my unrequited love I see someone that will always have a special place in my heart, but someone who I would have had to walk a different path in life to be with. And while he is still a good guy, I began to see all the things that would have made our relationship difficult, and why we had to take separate paths. You will get through this and in your own time. SO concentrate on being the best YOU for yourself and when you do that happiness will begin to seep back into your life. *hugs*


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## FatAndProud (Aug 16, 2013)

Hopefully, he's not a lawyer from NY lol


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## Dolce (Aug 17, 2013)

It's called limerance.


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## Dolce (Aug 17, 2013)

Dolce said:


> It's called limerance.




Sorry, it's _limerence._


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## Yakatori (Aug 17, 2013)

^Interesting that you mention that, just because of the way *KittyKitten*'s description is just so different from my most immediate association with the particular term "unrequited-love":



KittyKitten said:


> "_...most painful feeling...is the feeling of unrequited love. That hurts like a b*tch! *Makes you want to just crumple down on the floor and pull your hair out and cry*....*You feel worthless*. You feel ugly. You feel unlovable...painful than *loving a person that you feel doesn't love you as much as you love him/her*._"



Especially-not taking the apostle-Paul's first epistle to the Corinthians (13:4-8) to heart. This is also a popular theme in literature, music, & television-even; that the object of an unrequited-love, their mere existence in the same world, is a profound source of....happiness..fulfillment, gratitude-even.

Or, perhaps, though-unfulfilled (really, actually more-so for that reason) as some kind of example or motivation or lens through which one transcends themselves... From someone seemingly competent & functional-enough, if not just totally-complete, to something or someone better. Someone who sees, more clearly than before, all of the ways in which to worker harder & be better & surpass whatever's around them or anything that's just ordinary.



KittyKitten said:


> ...this economy is making us work like dogs?


There's no question that an upwardly-mobile person who's just middle-class has to work a lot harder than they did as recently as 20 years ago. And the further down you go, in terms of the economic-food chain, even-just incrementally, the more steep the playing field becomes.



KittyKitten said:


> "_..the problem is he works alot and I mean ALOT. I seem to be attracting workaholic guys lately, never used to be like that._"


But don't you more-so mean-that it's now that you are attracted to them? Otherwise, how would you notice? You know, maybe there's something, subconsciously-speaking, in this "unavailability" that speaks to your perception of one as suitably-strong & ultimately dependable? Like, if that were an association formed & cemented in your earlier experiences, that this is what a man who loves you is supposed to be like.


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## Yakatori (Nov 20, 2013)

Just to add:

One of my favorite OkCupid questions is something to effect of whether or not unrequited love is inherently sad, creepy, or...romantic. Interesting stuff.


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## Ms Charlotte BBW (Nov 21, 2013)

KittyKitten said:


> The most painful feeling in the world other than the death of a loved one is the feeling of unrequited love.
> There's nothing more painful than loving a person that you feel doesn't love you as much as you love him/her.



I know the feeling all too well. I wish I could offer you some advice, but honestly, I'm not going to be able to tell you something you haven't already heard before. Does it get better? It does...in time. You learn to realize that it wasn't your fault. It wasn't you who was ugly, worthless, or unlovable...it was him. I have always been a hopeless romantic, as most women are. I would sacrifice anything and everything for love. Lately though, I've been questioning this whole "love" thing. Does it really exist? Because if it does, it shouldn't hurt like hell.


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