# relationship with a big girl



## kazaa (Feb 27, 2010)

Hi everyone,
I'm new to all of this and have a dilemma. I am attracted to big woman but ironically would hate getting fat. I am afraid that I would eventually put on weight in a relationship with a big woman. Is it a possible reality that I will have to live with?


----------



## siren_ (Feb 27, 2010)

Well yeah it is easy to pick up bad habits and it's easy to enable each other in a relationship. But if you're really paranoid and scared about it, you'll probably be really weight conscious and not gain anything. Pretty much you determine your own reality. Just be aware of what your eating, man.


----------



## desertcheeseman (Feb 27, 2010)

Seriously, fat isn't contagious. You have nothing to worry about as long as you don't change your own eating and lifestyle habits too badly. She's not going to resent you for being skinny or for not eating the same as she does. And just like with any person you have a relationship with, you have to balance the time you spend with her with time for work, exercise, eating right, and taking care of yourself. With that said, weight gain is a possible reality for anybody at any time... so just don't worry about it so much.


----------



## chicken legs (Feb 27, 2010)

LOL...actually I've lost weight because really big folks will help you eat your food. Like, the moment you stop eating, they will say.."Are you going to eat that".. As a FFA, man does that question turn me on.


----------



## desertcheeseman (Feb 27, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> LOL...actually I've lost weight because really big folks will help you eat your food. Like, the moment you stop eating, they will say.."Are you going to eat that".. As a FFA, man does that question turn me on.



I second that! As a BHM and a hearty eater, the leaving of any bit of food on your plate is an invitation for me to... reach over... :eat2:


----------



## Freeman (Feb 28, 2010)

kazaa said:


> Hi everyone,
> I'm new to all of this and have a dilemma. I am attracted to big woman but ironically would hate getting fat. I am afraid that I would eventually put on weight in a relationship with a big woman. Is it a possible reality that I will have to live with?



there are a lot of people that gain during dating or marriage, the _risk _is the same. So don't worry


----------



## Totmacher (Feb 28, 2010)

I can't believe nobody's pointed this out yet, but people aren't necessarily fat because they consume significantly more calories than the average person. It's quite possible that the big woman you'll have the pleasure of dating just has a slow metabolism and only eats as much, or even less, than you do. In my experience, what little of it there is, this is often the case.
Either way, unless you're an opportunistic feeder (meaning you eat if there is food, not that you feed whoever will let you) with no willpower, you should do fine wherever in the spectrum - from bipedal-black-hole who'll always tempt you by munching on something-or-other to an ostensible photosynthetic who couldn't spend $0.50 on a dollar menu suggesting you don't let her waste food - your woman falls.


----------



## Ruby Ripples (Feb 28, 2010)

Totmacher said:


> I can't believe nobody's pointed this out yet, but people aren't necessarily fat because they consume significantly more calories than the average person. It's quite possible that the big woman you'll have the pleasure of dating just has a slow metabolism and only eats as much, or even less, than you do. In my experience, what little of it there is, this is often the case.
> Either way, unless you're an opportunistic feeder (meaning you eat if there is food, not that you feed whoever will let you) with no willpower, you should do fine wherever in the spectrum - from bipedal-black-hole who'll always tempt you by munching on something-or-other to an ostensible photosynthetic who couldn't spend $0.50 on a dollar menu suggesting you don't let her waste food - your woman falls.



Hear, Hear!

I can't believe that everyone up to Tot, just assumes that fat people eat a lot! GRRRRRR. 

If this forum hasnt made people realise that yet, then... argh!


----------



## Totmacher (Feb 28, 2010)

Ruby Ripples said:


> Hear, Hear!
> 
> I can't believe that everyone up to Tot, just assumes that fat people eat a lot! GRRRRRR.
> 
> If this forum hasnt made people realise that yet, then... argh!



Well, this _is_ the erotic weight gain forum. Maybe that's one ugly truth people would rather just ignore.


----------



## disconnectedsmile (Mar 1, 2010)

desertcheeseman said:


> Seriously, fat isn't contagious.


what!?
well, there goes my perception of reality...


----------



## chicken legs (Mar 1, 2010)

Totmacher said:


> I . It's quite possible that the big woman you'll have the pleasure of dating just has a slow metabolism and only eats as much, or even less, than you do. In my experience, what little of it there is, this is often the case..



LOL..other than those who have a jacked up metabolism..(not many are born that way..and usually get it from yo-yo dieting and certain medications), big folks on average eat more than small folks. The more mass you have the more energy is needed to move that mass.


----------



## kazaa (Mar 2, 2010)

like said for sure there are some individuals with a slow metabolism but most fat individuals consume more than the average individual and there is nothing wrong with that they just enjoy food.


----------



## kazaa (Mar 2, 2010)

saying that people are fat due to their metabolism is bullshit they should be proud of who they are and just admit that they enjoy eating.


----------



## furious styles (Mar 2, 2010)

actually that _always_ happens to me. but i'm a fatty at heart


----------



## Jon Blaze (Mar 2, 2010)

kazaa said:


> like said for sure there are some individuals with a slow metabolism but most fat individuals consume more than the average individual and there is nothing wrong with that they just enjoy food.



And you don't as a thin person?


----------



## kazaa (Mar 2, 2010)

Jon Blaze said:


> And you don't as a thin person?



Of course I do.


----------



## Silencepatiencegrace (Mar 7, 2010)

Hmm, interesting... Im like the complete opposite with any of my partners. I would love to get fat with them.  :eat1:


----------



## joswitch (Mar 10, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> LOL..other than those who have a jacked up metabolism..(not many are born that way..and usually get it from yo-yo dieting and certain medications), big folks on average eat more than small folks. The more mass you have the more energy is needed to move that mass.



Ooh, no I disagree.. Levels of activity, hormones esp. sex hormones (m/f), body composition (muscle/bone/fat), "twitchiness", sleep / body temperature patterns, TV watching (your metabolic rate drops below sleeping) or not, all of these and more are factors. For 3 or 4 years I was with one lover, she's about 5'8' in the 240 to 275 range and I'm about 6'2" and 170lbs... i have to eat about 2800 cals a day just so as NOT to lose... My gf probably ate half that, certainly at dinner she could only manage half the portions I ate/eat...


----------



## chicken legs (Mar 11, 2010)

joswitch said:


> Ooh, no I disagree.. Levels of activity, hormones esp. sex hormones (m/f), body composition (muscle/bone/fat), "twitchiness", sleep / body temperature patterns, TV watching (your metabolic rate drops below sleeping) or not, all of these and more are factors. For 3 or 4 years I was with one lover, she's about 5'8' in the 240 to 275 range and I'm about 6'2" and 170lbs... i have to eat about 2800 cals a day just so as NOT to lose... My gf probably ate half that, certainly at dinner she could only manage half the portions I ate/eat...



Being 5'8 is rather tall for a woman to begin with and thats not even factoring in the body type. Anywho, I've always had a slow metabolism, and I show signs of PCOS. So I'm not talking out my ass. If I get over indulgent with my food choices I'm going to get bigger and if I don't compensate my indulgences with higher level of activity...I going to get fatter.


----------



## Weeze (Mar 11, 2010)

This thread is just so fucking full of win. Seriously. You guys. :wubu:


----------



## pudgy (Mar 11, 2010)

I might add that though you might fear gaining weight, it's just not that bad. If you gain some and it happens to be a result of a healthy relationship (and whether that's possible is another argument), then try to enjoy it. If you simply can't, then it's up to you to lose it again. But don't blame a relationship or someone's influence on you for weight gain. It's up to you!


----------



## joswitch (Mar 12, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> Anywho, I've always had a slow metabolism, and I show signs of PCOS.


And that's my point right there. I created a thread on the main board ages ago exploring some of the many factors involved in energy balance, have a dig for it - it's useful stuff to know.


> So I'm not talking out my ass. If I get over indulgent with my food choices I'm going to get bigger and if I don't compensate my indulgences with higher level of activity...I going to get fatter.


did you know that a big component of your activity is involuntary? Most people are unaware of that...


----------



## KHayes666 (Mar 13, 2010)

kazaa said:


> like said for sure there are some individuals with a slow metabolism but most fat individuals consume more than the average individual and there is nothing wrong with that they just enjoy food.



I can eat a large cheese pizza singlehandedly and then dance like crazy after (its not a pleasant feeling but its been done before)....metabolism's can be slow or fast but there shouldn't be much worrying about weight if you can work off what you eat.

My g/f is bordering on SSBBW and she doesn't eat that much at all and is quite active, some people are different genetically.


----------



## JMNYC (Mar 13, 2010)

kazaa said:


> Hi everyone,
> I'm new to all of this and have a dilemma. I am attracted to big woman but ironically would hate getting fat. I am afraid that I would eventually put on weight in a relationship with a big woman. Is it a possible reality that I will have to live with?



It's not catching, man.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Mar 13, 2010)

Yes, if you plan on overeating. If you're going to deliberately overeat then you are going to put on weight, it's as simple as that. Most people when courting a new relationship tend to put on weight initially anyway, so expect that. That's because the habits of courtship often facilitate this. In the begining they go out on dates, meet in restaurants, attend social events, etc. and these events are marked by fine dining and long leisurly talks about everything and nothing at all. Your bodies will naturally respond to this change in eating habits and cuisine. It is very important to keep this in mind and not turn it in to an excuse to blame your fat girlfriend via an ignorance about how your weight gain is self inflicted or to nod knowingly to yourself about how her courtship eating habits confirm what you suspected all along about fat women. Once the courtship phase is over your bodies should return to whatever is normal for each of you. You will not however become fat solely through contact with the woman any more than you will grow tits by being with the woman.


----------



## thatgirl08 (Mar 15, 2010)

siren_ said:


> Well yeah it is easy to pick up bad habits and it's easy to enable each other in a relationship. But if you're really paranoid and scared about it, you'll probably be really weight conscious and not gain anything. Pretty much you determine your own reality. Just be aware of what your eating, man.



lol @ bad habits


----------



## hal84 (Apr 24, 2010)

I'm dating a very lovely BBW and I have managed to lse weight when I was with her, because people can't catch fat. If you eat healthy and exercise your body will speed up it's metabolism. However the off issue is that you could pick up some of her habits that your tring to avoid and then yes, that would put weight on. The most important thing is to just make sureyour taking care of yourself so you can avoid turning your body into something that you wouldn't be proud of.


----------



## ShazzyBombshell (Apr 24, 2010)

kazaa said:


> Hi everyone,
> I'm new to all of this and have a dilemma. I am attracted to big woman but ironically would hate getting fat. I am afraid that I would eventually put on weight in a relationship with a big woman. Is it a possible reality that I will have to live with?



I have dated slim men who have never put on weight with me, but on the other side i have dated men who have gained some, but the guy im with at the moment is loosing weight, so anything is possible, it all depends on you


----------



## CastingPearls (Apr 26, 2010)

kazaa said:


> Hi everyone,
> I'm new to all of this and have a dilemma. I am attracted to big woman but ironically would hate getting fat. I am afraid that I would eventually put on weight in a relationship with a big woman. Is it a possible reality that I will have to live with?


Husband of 8 years weights 184 and that's his heaviest. When we met he weighed 177. It's a possiblity but certainly not an inevitablity.


----------



## Slamaga (Apr 30, 2010)

I have one big problem! All the big girl I've met weren't confortable with their size because of social pressure, so it is quite hard to do compliments . Some of them were stubborned in the idea that they are less attractive than the other girl. 

What makes it easier for me with a bbw is that she has a good self esteem and knows about her best qualities (physical and psychological).

As a malediction, I'm in the wrong place for this ... or am I blind?


----------



## Fat Brian (Apr 30, 2010)

As much as you want to slather compliments on your new BBW girlfriend right away things TEND to go more smoothly if you restrain yourself. You have to gain her trust first, prove you are not a troll or only looking for a booty call. Women are more receptive to racy comments when they know there in real love behind them.


----------



## Bale (May 2, 2010)

I was with my ex-girlfriend for over two years and see was a very big girl. I never gained weight during the relationship, mainly due to being a personal trainer. Although it depends alot on the lifestyle you lead and what sort of person you are. I'f you don't want to be fat then you shouldn't have a problem.


----------



## Nspens (May 4, 2010)

Slamaga said:


> I have one big problem! All the big girl I've met weren't confortable with their size because of social pressure, so it is quite hard to do compliments . Some of them were stubborned in the idea that they are less attractive than the other girl.
> 
> What makes it easier for me with a bbw is that she has a good self esteem and knows about her best qualities (physical and psychological).
> 
> I have been on that end, it is a rough patch because they don't think you are sincere. And I have the issue of every girl I am with has lost weight during our relationship. Now that is a downer!


----------



## gobettiepurple (May 4, 2010)

Fat Brian said:


> As much as you want to slather compliments on your new BBW girlfriend right away things TEND to go more smoothly if you restrain yourself. You have to gain her trust first, prove you are not a troll or only looking for a booty call. Women are more receptive to racy comments when they know there in real love behind them.



*I totally agree with this statement. I think Racy comments have a certain time and place, so if you go with them too early, personally I feel like that is way too much for someone to handle - especially if you are just getting to know someone.

It's not always about confidence - I think I am pretty confident, but I just don't trust other people that easily, so compliments in excess upon first meeting someone are always going to be a little but suspect for me. I just want to know what people's intentions are, and if they are valid.*


----------



## Webmaster (May 11, 2010)

I was 6 foot and 160 when I first realized that I wanted a fat woman in my life. It is now decades of being an open FA later and I am still 6 foot and 160. No dilemma there.



kazaa said:


> Hi everyone,
> I'm new to all of this and have a dilemma. I am attracted to big woman but ironically would hate getting fat. I am afraid that I would eventually put on weight in a relationship with a big woman. Is it a possible reality that I will have to live with?


----------



## xysoseriousx (Jul 2, 2010)

kazaa said:


> Hi everyone,
> I'm new to all of this and have a dilemma. I am attracted to big woman but ironically would hate getting fat. I am afraid that I would eventually put on weight in a relationship with a big woman. Is it a possible reality that I will have to live with?



Well, if you are in a relationship with a fat girl, and you want her to get bigger, you getting kinda bigger is a little inevitable because of the stuffings and everything, and how you are going to like the feel when she gets bigger, as due to the fact that if I had a huge, like 500+ girl, I would get huge to, because it would feel great with her.


----------



## Elfcat (Jul 3, 2010)

I have been involved with this community for half my life. I've been married to 2 supersize women so far. I am one of the thinnest people I know. You likely have very little to worry about. However, I also really wouldn't care if relationships with fat women made me gain a little. That is what fat-acceptance has done for me. Hopefully it can do likewise for you.


----------



## xysoseriousx (Jul 3, 2010)

Yea, if you are with a BBW, and you are a FA, you are bound to pack on some pounds, and hell, I wouldn't mind it, because everyone says how it feels good to be fat.


----------



## Jon Blaze (Jul 4, 2010)

Well none of the relationships with big women I've been with have done htat. In fact they've done the opposite more often than not. The latter means nothing however, since it's already preposterous to assume habits. It's even more to assume habits just automatically rub off on you.


----------



## KHayes666 (Jul 5, 2010)

xysoseriousx said:


> Yea, if you are with a BBW, and you are a FA, you are bound to pack on some pounds, and hell, I wouldn't mind it, because everyone says how it feels good to be fat.



Not always true. 

I've actually lost 20 pounds since 2007....sometimes you meet a BBW who likes to be active.


----------



## lalatx (Jul 5, 2010)

Seriously just b/c you date a big girl does not mean you are going to gain weight. I tend to date guys on the thinner side and not one has gained any weight.


----------

