# How "courageous" are you?



## Bly_guy (May 1, 2006)

Hey all,

I have a question for you all that has been triggered by a situation- Here it goes:

I was taking out and cleaning my windows yesterday and had a view of one of my neighbors across the street, sitting reclined on his front steps with a beer, with his (rather huge) potbelly sticking out for all to see, chatting with a friend on the balcony next to him.

It was interesting to see people's reaction as they walked by - Some would look away, some would stare, some would just look forward just a bit too intensly.

Now, even though I like my rotundness, there is no way I would have the guts to just lie there shirtless on a passing street. It got me thinking that since I "care" so much about my gut and my size, it causes an unwarranted amount of self counsciousness that most people won't have.

I wouldn't have the guts to do it, but would you?

Discuss and dismantle


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## extra_fat_guy (May 1, 2006)

I wouldn't sit out in my front yard with no shirt on. But I would at the beach, or a swimming pool.


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## Zandoz (May 1, 2006)

I generally try to keep from inciting angry mobs. The negative reactions to me in shorts and a muscle shirt are quite sufficient. Which is probably a good thing, otherwise I'd likely be running around nekkid...LOL


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## sunandshadow (May 1, 2006)

I'd probably wear nothing if it were legal and above 85 degrees. But I'm just the kind of person who isn't really interested in what other people think unless it has some practical impact on me.


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## nathanb (May 1, 2006)

I'm still wearing baggy clothes right now, but am slowly working my way up to topless trips to the snack bar at the beach!


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## Tad (May 1, 2006)

Bly_guy said:


> I was taking out and cleaning my windows yesterday and had a view of one of my neighbors across the street, sitting reclined on his front steps with a beer, with his (rather huge) potbelly sticking out for all to see, chatting with a friend on the balcony next to him.



You know, depending on the context this might not seem so weird. In some of the traditionally more working-class neighborhoods in Montreal, if I saw an older guy doing this, I wouldn't think much of it. Well, at least not in July, I might be a bit surprised to see him shirtless in April, even on a warm day.

As for myself, I would not sit out topless, and I'm just moderately fat. I have sometimes gone shirtless when biking on a hot day, but that is about it. I figure that overall, there are few occasions when guys going shirtless is a good thing, no matter the weight. I prefer some degree of modesty when reasonable.

-Ed


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## bigcheese211 (May 1, 2006)

I'd walk around naked if i could! Instead i settle for being naked online. haha


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## fatmandanincanada (May 1, 2006)

I would have no problem myself being outside with no shirt on. I get "looks" too and I just don't care what people think. When it's hot out and if I'm having a bbq or a cold one...the shirt is off!


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## PolarKat (May 1, 2006)

edx said:


> You know, depending on the context this might not seem so weird. In some of the traditionally more working-class neighborhoods in Montreal, if I saw an older guy doing this, I wouldn't think much of it. Well, at least not in July, I might be a bit surprised to see him shirtless in April, even on a warm day.
> -Ed



We got up to 24C today, and it felt alot hotter in while I was making my way through old montreal.. but I don't know if that's more becuase the snow suits are gone and the skimpy dressed women were out in full force  



Bly_guy said:


> Now, even though I like my rotundness, there is no way I would have the guts to just lie there shirtless on a passing street. It got me thinking that since I "care" so much about my gut and my size, it causes an unwarranted amount of self counsciousness that most people won't have.
> 
> I wouldn't have the guts to do it, but would you?



Unless i'm on a secluded beach and there's an ocean in front of me, other wise the shirt stays on.
But like Ed was saying Hochelaga/Verdun to Pte St.Charles, and some of the ethnic areas it's pretty common to have the old men out without shirts on any hot day.. especially when you consider they're on thier 12th beer by lunchtime.. courage is easy at that point!


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## zachary (May 2, 2006)

sitting around in your front lawn with your gut hanging out drinking a beer sounds like white trash. unappealing.


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## Ladyrose1952 (May 2, 2006)

Ladyrose is still a big coward. I still wear some large clothes but I am buying smaller things and getting use to the idea of showing off what I have. I got myself some short sleeved and some string sleeve type blouses to start with and so far, noone as been scared to bad. I am opening up a lot more since joining this forum and feeling a lot better about myself because of it.
I hope that soon I will be able to be even more open to what I wear in public and after over 30 years actually buy myself an actual swimsuit and use one in public too. well.... maybe not just yet.....


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## PolarKat (May 2, 2006)

zachary said:


> sitting around in your front lawn with your gut hanging out drinking a beer sounds like white trash. unappealing.



Nothing to do with "White Trash" 

It's a cultural/climate/architectural thing.. there's an expression here "passer ses vacances à Balconville".(Staying home/balcony for your vacation) 
Firstly the old sections of the city are about 200-350 years old, most houses in these areas don't have backyards.. or front yards for that matter, rather they have balconies. So these replace the backyard. Secondly most of these people are (upper)middle class working stiffs. Lastly the summers here are as hot as the southern states, our days are several hours longer.. add to that a humidiy index that's insane (Mtl is an island). So it's actually odd to see men with shirts outstide in the summer.. and beer.. well you have to live on the north side of the border to understand that..


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## William (May 2, 2006)

Hi Rose

Swimming in public!!!

What is that?

William (been a long time since my last swim)





Ladyrose1952 said:


> Ladyrose is still a big coward. I still wear some large clothes but I am buying smaller things and getting use to the idea of showing off what I have. I got myself some short sleeved and some string sleeve type blouses to start with and so far, noone as been scared to bad. I am opening up a lot more since joining this forum and feeling a lot better about myself because of it.
> I hope that soon I will be able to be even more open to what I wear in public and after over 30 years actually buy myself an actual swimsuit and use one in public too. well.... maybe not just yet.....


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## Bly_guy (May 2, 2006)

Seems like I'm not the only montrealer around here !

Yes, montreal has all the weather extremes - from -30 with snow to 45c baking hot. 

In that man's case, from what I could see he was sober, however he was at least in his 50s, which does have an impact on the "I don't care" factor!

For me, that's the thing I need to work on the most - self-confidence. Now I don't wanna sit on my doorstep half naked, but just wearing a thinger shirt without feeling weird would be good.


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## AZ_Wolf (May 3, 2006)

Bly_guy said:



> Yes, montreal has all the weather extremes - from -30 with snow to 45c baking hot.
> 
> In that man's case, from what I could see he was sober, however he was at least in his 50s, which does have an impact on the "I don't care" factor!
> 
> For me, that's the thing I need to work on the most - self-confidence. Now I don't wanna sit on my doorstep half naked, but just wearing a thinger shirt without feeling weird would be good.



45C? I'll eat one of my hats if it reaches 113F in Montreal at any time except perhaps 3 seconds before a massive flaming meteor lands on it.  

It's only hit that twice in the 7 summers I've lived here! And it's already 34-36C daily here right now.

So (to get back more on topic) you will get some old guys out here in some neighborhoods showing more than you might like, too. But the payback is that many not-so-old women do likewise.


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## PolarKat (May 3, 2006)

AZ_Wolf said:


> 45C? I'll eat one of my hats if it reaches 113F in Montreal at any time except perhaps 3 seconds before a massive flaming meteor lands on it.
> 
> It's only hit that twice in the 7 summers I've lived here! And it's already 34-36C daily here right now.
> 
> So (to get back more on topic) you will get some old guys out here in some neighborhoods showing more than you might like, too. But the payback is that many not-so-old women do likewise.



he was probably adding in the humidity index, since we get that burst in july with zero wind, and the temp stays in the low-mid 90's.. with that humidity that passes for fog.. on bright and clear day.. ugh.. if it wasn't those not-so-old women out with the not-so-covering clothes.. I might actually want winter back!


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## LarryTheShiveringChipmunk (May 3, 2006)

I'm "newly BHM" even tho I really not in that category yet probably...but the new lbs have all gone to the belly. If I didn't have stick arms/legs but limbs to match I'd probably be 250ish but I'm 185ish...just all in the middle.

Anyway, I wanted to trim down a bit so as to be able to go shirtless to a ballgame in the bleachers...got the sun beating down on ya, great way to get a tan, but I'm too dern embarassed to do it now that instead of losing 10-20 from last October..I put on about 15.

So to me that is courageous and I give the guy respect for that.


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## Chimpi (May 6, 2006)

Personally, it is extremely hard to get me embarassed, so I would have no problem sitting on my front porch, with any body part hanging out (except the genitals, of course). The fact that it is your own property makes it all the more civil. If someone has a problem with how you look, sitting on your porch, well, too bad. There's nothing to be ashamed about. You're going to look just as fat or skinny with clothes on as you do with clothes off. Actually, I think people would agree that you look larger in size with clothes on (tight or nice-fitting clothes, that is) than you do naked, because there is nothing extrenuating anything.
*shrug*


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## fatman (May 7, 2006)

I let the world see my belly when I'm swimming, but not out walking, I cause a riot or an accident or something


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## Bly_guy (May 7, 2006)

Thanks all of you for the replies - The balance seems to weigh heavier (har har) towards shy people, which is what I was expecting, more or less.

And about the weather thing - I was talking about extremes! I do remember one time during a recent summer where the temperature felt by the body was 44 degrees... it was murder in the subway.

It"s in situations like that I wish I could just walk around bare-bellied and not care about it..


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## missaf (May 7, 2006)

It doesn't sound like shyness totally, it sounds like a mix of modesty and decency. Some people are just brought up to keep their shirts on. *shrug*

There's not one near me, but when there was in Boston I'd go to a nudist camp and take it all off. Why? It's liberating to be free of clothing and enjoy nature and swimming without worry of how my clothes look. 

And a total thread derailment: I'm expecting to see you Montreal Boys have a BBQ together this summer, without the shirts


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## Ladyrose1952 (May 7, 2006)

William said:


> Hi Rose
> 
> Swimming in public!!!
> 
> ...


 
Yeah, I don't remember either my dear..... I think it is sumpin you eat.......


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## William (May 7, 2006)

Hi Rose

My High School Swimming Teacher use to give me hell because i would not swim. Well years later in his store, I was talking to his chubby daughter who says he never got her in the pool either!!!

William 




Ladyrose1952 said:


> Yeah, I don't remember either my dear..... I think it is sumpin you eat.......


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## Ladyrose1952 (May 8, 2006)

William said:


> Hi Rose
> 
> My High School Swimming Teacher use to give me hell because i would not swim. Well years later in his store, I was talking to his chubby daughter who says he never got her in the pool either!!!
> 
> William


 
This is right. When you are big, there is just something about getting wet and exposing all of what you are.....I think that a lot of it has to do because of media and all of the fat jokes and publicity that is so regretfully done to Fat people today.

It isn't shyness at all, but fear of ridicule that makes us continue hiding behind large clothes and certain colors. It has been engrained in us since childhood that fat people were disgusting, useless, lazy slogs that didn't deserve to be seen in public.

I believe that we are just as important as thin people and should do what we want to do without feeling that we are doing something wrong in someone else's eyes.


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## fat hiker (May 9, 2006)

Bly_guy said:


> Thanks all of you for the replies - The balance seems to weigh heavier (har har) towards shy people, which is what I was expecting, more or less.
> 
> And about the weather thing - I was talking about extremes! I do remember one time during a recent summer where the temperature felt by the body was 44 degrees... it was murder in the subway.
> 
> It"s in situations like that I wish I could just walk around bare-bellied and not care about it..




It is difficult at times, isn't it? I do like the expression "walk around bare-bellied " though, that's cool.

On MSN groups there's a group called Shirts are Optional Guys, and while the moderator claims to be open to all sizes of men going shirtless, most of the photos he posts are of conventionally good looking guys. There are a couple of posters, though, who are trying to add photos of BHMs and negativity to big guys going shirtless gets stomped on regularly...

fat hiker


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## Tad (May 9, 2006)

missaf said:


> There's not one near me, but when there was in Boston I'd go to a nudist camp and take it all off. Why? It's liberating to be free of clothing and enjoy nature and swimming without worry of how my clothes look.
> 
> And a total thread derailment: I'm expecting to see you Montreal Boys have a BBQ together this summer, without the shirts



Well, technically here in Ontario anyone can go topless in public, but for some reason there aren't many women who take advantage of that right.....

Oh, and I'm not a Montreal boy--lived there for a couple of years in the early 90s. I still love the city, and when we were in Ottawa (a couple of hours away) we'd take day trips a few times a year. But I'll encourage them to have a picnic all the same *L*

-Ed


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