# Yet another thing on binge eating..sorry!



## Just_Jen (Jan 6, 2009)

Hiya, i know this has been posted about before and i know it was a few years ago the threads that i looked at, but nevertheless i kinda still wanted to discuss it with you all. 

I think i have a problem. 
But i kind of dont want to get help for it for fear. Actually technically i have two problems if that's what im going to count...*ahem* anyway.. 

I think i have Binge Eating Disorder and i dont know what to do about it. I've always had a dysfunctional relationship with food and even danced with bulimia before. But for a while now i keep binging, if it was just the binging i would probably not care but i keep doing it until it physically really hurts. as in i cant move anymore. Real pain. and even when the pain wears off i automatically do something to bring the pain back, like drink a pint of water. I mean, i know, it should be simple right, just stop doing it? But i kind of cant. I feel like im turning innto a hamster, i wont eat all day and then ill jsut stuff myself so bad that i feel in so much pain that i cant move. This pain lasted two hours yesterday...

and i just dont know what to do. 
Im afraid to go to my doctor because he's just goin to think im a hypocondriac or worse. I've always had to go for something or other to do with me being mentally stupid..(or just have problems). I don't even think that it's something im going to get over? I dont know how to tackle it and i feel so lost. Because i know that im just turning from one way of hurting myself to another. and i feel damn screwed. and i cant feel like this because im in my last year of university and i need to stay on the line. 

*SIGH* 

The other thing is i think i may have diabetes type 2...the symptoms fit, pins and needles in hands and feet and my body has a spazz if i forget to eat, i drink like a moose etc. But im too ashamed to get it tested. But isnt it bad if i dont face upto the truth and get it sorted? or will it just coast along? 

Sorry if this is a stupid post, feel free to ignore it. im being an idiot i know. but i cant get it off my mind..


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## SamanthaNY (Jan 6, 2009)

You CANNOT coast along with diabetes. I understand the shame you might feel, but this is your LIFE we're talking about. 

YOU MUST BE TESTED. Untreated diabetes can have life-threatening consequences. If you are experiencing symptoms, *you MUST be checked out by a doctor ASAP*. The longer you go unchecked, the more irreversible damage you can be doing to your organs. If your blood sugar goes too high, you could pass out while driving a car, riding a train, etc. Binge eating can exacerbate diabetes to an alarming degree. 

Your university must have some health services available, and that would more than likely include mental health as well. GO to the health center and tell them what you're experiencing. *DO THIS SOON.* 

I'm sorry to come down like a ton of bricks, but your post has me extremely concerned for your well being.


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## bexy (Jan 6, 2009)

Honestly, like any addiction, recognising you have a problem really is one of the first steps. 
You know this isn't good for your physical or mental health, you have a bright future ahead of you and so you should try to do something about this now.
There is counselling available, and not all of it needs medical referral. 

I assume you're at Hull uni, if you are I know they have a student counselling service, as do most universities. These are usually services that deal with any number of issues, including binge eating and self harming, (which is what binge eating to cause pain can sometimes be identified as) and can help get referrals for further help. They are also free and confidential, and can help you if you begin to struggle at uni with your workload too. They can liase with tutors and the like to support you in finishing your final year. 

http://www.student.counselling.co.uk/

Counselling Service
University of Hull,
Hull HU6 7RX
01482 465166
[email protected]

Also, one of the main eating disorder charities in the UK has a good website and helpline number. 

http://www.b-eat.co.uk/Home

They link to this site, who has a meeting for Binge Eaters in your town.

http://www.seedeatingdisorders.co.uk/


As for the diabetes, don't be scared. Go to your doc, tell him your symptons and TELL him, don't ask him, that you want a test. He works for you ultimately hun, and should offer you one without issue. If not, or if you don't want to go see him there are diabetes home testing kits on the market, if you wanted you could maybe get one of those and take the results along to show your doctor. 

We are all, especially me, here for you anytime. Anything I can do just holla.

Love u!


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## Oirish (Jan 6, 2009)

Bexy is right. You are recognizing there is a problem and now it needs addressing. Get the diabetes test. You could very well test negative and have that weight off your mind. As for the other problem I don't know what I could say that you haven't heard before. Try snacking throughout the day so you don't go for the full-on binge later perhaps.


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## Cors (Jan 6, 2009)

I concur with what the others said about seeking professional help. Please be honest with your doctor, as Type I Diabetes in conjuction with bulimia is particularly dangerous. Even if you are diagnosed with Type II or are non-diabetic, bingeing still has unpleasant consequences even when not coupled with purging. 

In the meantime, this is what I found helpful when I struggled with binge eating. 

Try to analyse your binges. What triggers them? Is there a pattern? Is there anything you can do to avoid these triggers? My binges usually start out the same way: negativity, extreme restlessness, an increasing obsession with food and once I succumb, all control is gone. Nothing short of excruciating pain and an empty fridge can stop the rampage. 

It is pretty difficult to avoid certain feelings, and sometimes distractions might not be enough to kill the urge. Nevertheless, it is still a good idea to make a list and keep it around. When that particular feeling hits again, force yourself to take a deep breath, and go through your options slowly. Is there a supportive, nonjudgmental friend you talk to? Let him or her know how to best soothe you in advance, and agree to figure it out together. A particular scent or body lotion you enjoy? Activities that might be distracting eg. surfing Dims? How about a favourite picture or quote from a lovely person that makes you all warm and fuzzy inside? 

It is far easier said than done, but if possible, try to start eating regular meals in the daytime just to rule out actual physical hunger being a possible trigger. Don't wait for a "good day" to start the plan, it might not come and there will always be slip ups. Might as well ingest the extra food and count on it to pay off eventually. 

I have also found it helpful to divide foods into three categories and keep the list around. Safe foods are foods you do not particularly fancy and will not trigger a binge. Unsafe foods are the opposite, and they are also likely to be extremely dense in calories. There are also potentially unsafe foods, which are foods you are generally neutral about but might be triggering in a particularly vulnerable mood. 

I know people constantly harp on how moderation is important and that having a list of forbidden foods is possibly counterproductive. However, I am an all-or-nothing person and there is just no way I can stick to one cookie, then I feel compelled to finish the jar, and while I am at it and feel like crap, why not pizza, some cereal and the rest of the goodies in the fridge too? 

There are also other preventive measures you might want to take. Do not load the fridge with unsafe or potentially unsafe foods. Even if that means you have to make more frequent and expensive trips to the grocer, it probably saves you money in the long run. You might also want to try stifling the urge to binge with foods that might trick your body into feeling full eg. hot water with your favourite stock, with some high-volume, low-cal foods eg. broccoli thrown in. 

This trick might also work if you are fortunate enough to have the self-control to stop yourself during a binge. Before swallowing the next cake, try to convince yourself to eat say, a bunch of celery sticks. Even if it doesn't kill the mood, it might help a little with the guilt - which was the worst part for me as it could easily precipitate another binge. 

Bingeing stretches the stomach beyond its usual capacity, so the discomfort is no surprise. The pain is likely to be far worse if you purge as throwing up is pretty forceful, and over time it weakens the stomach walls. If your stomach pain does not subside in time, or if it is especially bad, or if you throw up blood, please seek medical attention immediately. Mallory-Weiss tears are frequently caused by bingeing and purging, and generally heal on their own but *(***WARNING: EXTREMELY GRAPHIC LINK***) * stomach rupture is a very real and life-threatening possibility.

You are such a sweet and beautiful girl, I hope you can get the help that you need. Feel free to PM me if you want someone to talk to.


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## SamanthaNY (Jan 10, 2009)

Any update on this? 

Jen - I've been thinking about you, I hope you're okay.


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## Just_Jen (Jan 13, 2009)

Hiya, sorry for the break in replying! I went to London on wednesday and got back sunday but been really busy. 
I have still not sorted anything out. although in london it was okay because we couldnt afford to binge and just ate cheese sarnies and chocolate haha. SInce i've come back i've had one binge already, on some reallly bad food! But at the same time the kitchens so gross that i cant really do anything healthy to eat anyway. hum. im worried about myself and i got certain symptoms in london tht weren't good, like my circulation went in my hands and they turned a bit purple/blue..but it was okay. freaked me out a little. 
I just still cant bring myself to do anything and i suppose i dont have time to do anything either. hum. 


*Bexxy* hun, thanks very much for looking into the support for me, the funny thing is i've done all that, a couple of years ago ive done it and they are a little bit useless tbh. the services here are crap for this stuff. Well especially for Binge Eating Disorder because im sure they dont even think it's a real thing! 

I also went to the Hull Uni counselling and it really just upset me, didnt help at all. i mean it's probably because i need more of it but *shrug* i dont have the time.

*SmanthaNY* - I dont think im going to get checked by a dr, i know i probably should but i just cant do it. it stresss me out...i dont know. i dont know what to do with myself anymore. i almost want to leave it because it's my own fault and i deserve the come back from it...

*Oirish* = that would probably help just eating throughout the day, though i dont think i could even do it

*Cors.* WOw! that's a lot of intersting information. Seem you really know a lot about it. i shall definately take some of your advice. There is a supporting non judgemental friend but the funny thing is she has EDNOS and it changes frequently and she'll actually binge eat WITH me, which isnt very helpful..but i think im going to have to try erradicating all unsafe foods from my fridge. Although ive started to get sneaky and buy stuff now, i just make sure i go to different shops so they dont recognise me haha! b ut i spose once im past the shop i wont go back to it, so just have to convince myself not to.


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## SamanthaNY (Jan 13, 2009)

Just_Jen said:


> im worried about myself and i got certain symptoms in london tht weren't good, like my circulation went in my hands and they turned a bit purple/blue..but it was okay. freaked me out a little.
> I just still cant bring myself to do anything and i suppose i dont have time to do anything either. hum.
> 
> I also went to the Hull Uni counselling and it really just upset me, didnt help at all. i mean it's probably because i need more of it but *shrug* i dont have the time.
> ...


Wrong. 

So very, very wrong. 

If I could, I'd slap you. Very hard.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jan 13, 2009)

Jen - I don't want to scare you - but untreated diabetes leads to nerve damage, amputation, and worse. I know you're stressed - but go to a doctor. This is NOT something you want to mess around with.


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## Just_Jen (Jan 13, 2009)

SamanthaNY said:


> Wrong.
> 
> So very, very wrong.
> 
> If I could, I'd slap you. Very hard.



 

my mum says it's my own fault. and i can see what she's saying. i dunno.
thank you for caring though, it's nice to know. even though you want to slap me haha:kiss2:


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## Just_Jen (Jan 13, 2009)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Jen - I don't want to scare you - but untreated diabetes leads to nerve damage, amputation, and worse. I know you're stressed - but go to a doctor. This is NOT something you want to mess around with.



i just feel like if i go to a dr and it is diabetes 2 that he's just going to laugh and say it's my own fault and just tell me to diet and stop eating like a freak. and that just makes me MEH!

(of course this rule only applies to me and i dont think it about other people btw!)


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jan 13, 2009)

Jen...sweetie...I know it's hard to see the forest for the trees - but you have binge eating DISORDER. Disorder. It's an illness. It's *not your fault*. If someone had the flu, would you blame them? Same principle. Even IF you have diabetes, it is just one more thing that is NOT YOUR FAULT. And the treatment for it is NOT just diet - it's medication. I'm not as knowledgeable as some others here about diabetes, so I can't tell you more about it than that, but if you have diabetes, you need treatment! Would you deny yourself a cast if you'd broken your leg skydiving? Of course you wouldn't. Same thing. This is your life you're talking about - you have a lot of people that care about you - please don't risk it.


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## SamanthaNY (Jan 13, 2009)

Just_Jen said:


> my mum says it's my own fault. and i can see what she's saying. i dunno.
> thank you for caring though, it's nice to know. even though you want to slap me haha:kiss2:


Stop laughing - cuz this really isn't fucking funny. 

Do you have *any* clue how many people would _desperately _want the chance to improve their health? You have this young life with a future ahead, and you're going to throw it all away. 

How dare you try to invite us all to watch. 

*closes thread*


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## Just_Jen (Jan 13, 2009)

i didnt mean to come across like that. I laugh or put LOL when im talking about uncomfortable situations, i do it in real life too. I just don't do well when it's serious and about me. I dont actually think it's funny and i know im being an idiot. I don't think im taking the diabetes thing serious enough, i dont know why. maybe because im afraid or something. 

i may have a young life with a future ahead but i dont feel like i do. i dont feel like i have much of a future unless i get myself under control. Thats what this thread was about, asking to help me get control, advice to control the binge eating. The diabete's is more of a side thing which will get sorted eventually. 

i wasnt inviting you to watch my demise or anything. just asking for help.



SamanthaNY said:


> Stop laughing - cuz this really isn't fucking funny.
> 
> Do you have *any* clue how many people would _desperately _want the chance to improve their health? You have this young life with a future ahead, and you're going to throw it all away.
> 
> ...


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## Just_Jen (Jan 13, 2009)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Jen...sweetie...I know it's hard to see the forest for the trees - but you have binge eating DISORDER. Disorder. It's an illness. It's *not your fault*. If someone had the flu, would you blame them? Same principle. Even IF you have diabetes, it is just one more thing that is NOT YOUR FAULT. And the treatment for it is NOT just diet - it's medication. I'm not as knowledgeable as some others here about diabetes, so I can't tell you more about it than that, but if you have diabetes, you need treatment! Would you deny yourself a cast if you'd broken your leg skydiving? Of course you wouldn't. Same thing. This is your life you're talking about - you have a lot of people that care about you - please don't risk it.



it's funny in the fact that if it was someone else i would say the same and think the same, why dont i when it comes to me?
My problem is i now dont even have time to get anything sorted. Im now going to be working 9-5 at a placement and there are no weekdays off. i dont know how to figure it out now. 
Im not entirely sure what's my fault and what isnt. i go from one destructive thing to another, so maybe it is my fault. 

i just want it to all go away.


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## Tad (Jan 13, 2009)

Just_Jen said:


> Im not entirely sure what's my fault and what isnt. i go from one destructive thing to another, so maybe it is my fault.
> 
> i just want it to all go away.



I'm far from an expert, but that sure sounds like there is an underlying issue or issues that you have never received help with. From what I've read it is totally common to deal with multiple therapists or counselors before you find one that you tick with. So if you've tried it once and it wasn't good, please don't just say 'doesn't work for me.' You really need to keep trying on that front. I guess that in some way it is a relationship, and like any relationship--romantic, roomate, hair stylist, whatever-- you can't count on getting lucky on the first try, nor do you really expect that the first one will be the only one for you. So on that front, do please go and try again.

Samantha made a good point: what would you do if you had a broken arm? Would you say "I'm too busy to go to the doctor?" Are there clinics that are open longer hours where you could go? Check the policies about your placement to see if you can get off for an appointment. Maybe you can come up with something else, if you decide that you want to do it. I really suspect that the hardest part right now is not being busy, but not wanting to see the doctor, so the business makes a nice excuse. 

And in the meantime, you can educate yourself on type 2 diabetes and the proper way to deal with it. You can't instantly make your binging behavior go away, even with the most perfect helper in the world you probably couldn't change that behavior instantly. But you can work on it, and you can look at what other changes you can start to make as well. Even little steps are good steps, although you should not stop with little steps. But cutting down on sugar, increasing fibre, having more evenly spaced meals rather than starving your body and then hitting it with a massive surge of carbs, those would all be steps in the right direction. 

You CAN change your life, and in the end ONLY you can change your life. Others can help, but unless you are willing to make changes it won't happen. 

Finally, for what it is worth, you are far from the first person to come to Dimensions while really wrestling with major issues. We've seen a fair number over the years, and some really have come on top of those issues and are now much happier people for it. This sort of thing is not as insurmountable as it may seem--but you have to be willing to try.


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## Just_Jen (Jan 13, 2009)

Yea, you're right there are issues underlying this whole thing, and there have always been them. Over the years i have had a few counsellors, changed medications and it's not stopped it well. I suppose you're right i just havent found the counsellor i gel with. Thing is im now stumped as to how to get one, if i go to the drs and he refers me, it could take forever to get one because the waiting list is so high, or so my drs always told me. 

As far as i know there aren't clinics you can go to out of hours, my dr is really awkward like that. I might try talking to my placement and ask for a day off for appointments next week. you're right, it's probably the fear getting the best of me and it does make a handy excuse. I end up believing the excuse though. but im just scared. 

Ive looked at type 2 diabetes and it just seems about moderating your diet. 

im glad others have gotten over issues such as these. i hope i do to. 

Thanks for the response Edx



edx said:


> I'm far from an expert, but that sure sounds like there is an underlying issue or issues that you have never received help with. From what I've read it is totally common to deal with multiple therapists or counselors before you find one that you tick with. So if you've tried it once and it wasn't good, please don't just say 'doesn't work for me.' You really need to keep trying on that front. I guess that in some way it is a relationship, and like any relationship--romantic, roomate, hair stylist, whatever-- you can't count on getting lucky on the first try, nor do you really expect that the first one will be the only one for you. So on that front, do please go and try again.
> 
> Samantha made a good point: what would you do if you had a broken arm? Would you say "I'm too busy to go to the doctor?" Are there clinics that are open longer hours where you could go? Check the policies about your placement to see if you can get off for an appointment. Maybe you can come up with something else, if you decide that you want to do it. I really suspect that the hardest part right now is not being busy, but not wanting to see the doctor, so the business makes a nice excuse.
> 
> ...


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## mossystate (Jan 14, 2009)

SamanthaNY said:


> Stop laughing - cuz this really isn't fucking funny.
> 
> Do you have *any* clue how many people would _desperately _want the chance to improve their health? You have this young life with a future ahead, and you're going to throw it all away.
> 
> ...



I understand the anger...I do. I have known people who had diseases where they did not get the chance to fight for any more time. I get it. 

Jen is dealing with huge fears, and while coddling a person 100% of the time is not the answer, at all, neither is shaming. If it angers you that she is not taking advice given, then it is time to step away. Maybe that's what you did with the " closes thread " flourish. She does not owe anything to anyone who did not have the chance to fight. If anyone thinks she does, then none of us best be negative about anything...as there are so many people who live wretched lives with little real hope, and our piddly grandstanding, whining and posturing that we all tend to do...could be viewed as embarrassing and wasteful.

I hope she does want to fight...for her. I can be sad that good advice I give might not be taken, but I do understand how difficult clawing ones way out of a pit can be. 
-----

Maybe Jen needs to announce some things to many people as she is doing here...more than once. She might to taking a BIG step in talking about what's going on in her life. Bringing things out to the light of a sunny day, even with the nervous laughter and self-flogging...is never a bad thing. Something can click. I hope something clicks. 

Jen, you will have to stick with something. That is probably the number one piece of advice I can give. Whatever that one thing is...in the positive column...if you do not stick with it, nothing else has the chance to follow suit.

There is never going to be time, until you really want to do what you need to do. Fear can be a real motivator. Seems you are willing to wait for something huge to happen. If you are....fine...really...it IS your life. If the idea of losing your life is scary enough, you will make lots of phone calls. If you cannot do everything...you are not an idiot. That has been drilled in your brain. You want to let go of some of that security blanket?


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## Tad (Jan 14, 2009)

Just_Jen said:


> Ive looked at type 2 diabetes and it just seems about moderating your diet.



Depending on whether you have full blown diabetes, and how bad it is, there can be medications prescribed too, from what little I understand. But I think that there is a thread around here somewhere on the health forum on the topic, where you could no doubt get more information.

But yah, without doubt the first step is making sure you don't hit your body with a surge of simple carbohydrates that it can't handle properly, and for most people that means altering how they eat. Which makes the combination of diabetes and binge eating particularly nasty, I think. I also wonder if there is a bit of a feedback loop, if when you've binged your body kind of shuts down on wanting food for longer, because of the effects? Then really bottoms out, giving you the urge to binge? *just speculating, so many people here who would know more than I*

The second step is getting regular physical activity--like so many things, being in motion seems to be good for us.

But if you are actually getting numbness and so on, that is serious enough that it is not a "Oh, I'll try to eat more fibre and get out for a walk" type of thing. You really do need to get yourself to a medical professional to be checked out. Diabetes is not the only possible cause I'd think, so it needs to be looked into.

Best of luck dealing with all this!

(and by teh way, congrats on starting your job placement, I hope you are enjoying it!)


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## Sandie S-R (Jan 14, 2009)

SamanthaNY said:


> Stop laughing - cuz this really isn't fucking funny.
> 
> Do you have *any* clue how many people would _desperately _want the chance to improve their health? You have this young life with a future ahead, and you're going to throw it all away.
> 
> ...





NO, Samantha. The thread is not closed. You do not have the right, nor the ability to do so. 



Just_Jen said:


> i didnt mean to come across like that. I laugh or put LOL when im talking about uncomfortable situations, i do it in real life too. I just don't do well when it's serious and about me. I dont actually think it's funny and i know im being an idiot. I don't think im taking the diabetes thing serious enough, i dont know why. maybe because im afraid or something.
> 
> i may have a young life with a future ahead but i dont feel like i do. i dont feel like i have much of a future unless i get myself under control. Thats what this thread was about, asking to help me get control, advice to control the binge eating. The diabete's is more of a side thing which will get sorted eventually.
> 
> i wasnt inviting you to watch my demise or anything. just asking for help.



Jen, the diabetes is not a "side thing that will sort itself out". It is something you need to get treatment for. It is highly likely that the Doctor would put you on medication that would bring your blood sugar numbers down to a more manageable range - and that will not only make make you feel better, but likely extend your life, and end some of the difficult symptoms you are feelings. Living with super high blood sugar number is in fact EXTREMEMLY DANGEROUS. As said you can pass out - you can go in shock or even a coma from it. 



Just_Jen said:


> it's funny in the fact that if it was someone else i would say the same and think the same, why dont i when it comes to me?
> My problem is i now dont even have time to get anything sorted. Im now going to be working 9-5 at a placement and there are no weekdays off. i dont know how to figure it out now.
> Im not entirely sure what's my fault and what isnt. i go from one destructive thing to another, so maybe it is my fault.
> 
> i just want it to all go away.



Jen, you need to stop beating yourself up, and realize that the the Diabetes is the thing that needs treatment. You can "sort out" the eating disorder once you get checked out for the Diabetes. You do not have to live a destructive life, and you do not have to continue to punish yourself for for things that are beyond your control. Diabetes is a disease that comes from having a genetic predisposition to getting it. The eating disorder did not cause it, nor did your being fat cause it. I have diabetes too and I know what I am talking about. It is not your fault if you have Diabetes, so stop blaming yourself. 



Just_Jen said:


> Yea, you're right there are issues underlying this whole thing, and there have always been them. Over the years i have had a few counsellors, changed medications and it's not stopped it well. I suppose you're right i just havent found the counsellor i gel with. Thing is im now stumped as to how to get one, if i go to the drs and he refers me, it could take forever to get one because the waiting list is so high, or so my drs always told me.
> 
> As far as i know there aren't clinics you can go to out of hours, my dr is really awkward like that. I might try talking to my placement and ask for a day off for appointments next week. you're right, it's probably the fear getting the best of me and it does make a handy excuse. I end up believing the excuse though. but im just scared.
> 
> ...



Jen, moderating diet can help diabetes, but it is not absolutely necessary in all circumstances. I don't eat a special diet, and I still have treats like Chocolate and ice cream from time to time. What is important is that I take my medication. It keeps my BG numbers at a level that will insure my good health and that I will have no complications from Diabetes.

Please stop beating yourself up and get to a Doctor. They can help you get on medication and get your Diabetes under control. Please understand that the Diabetes is the most important thing to address right now. You do not have to face the eating disorder right now. But please get some treatment for the Diabetes. If you have questions or need any help, you are welcome to contact me privately any time. 

Sandie


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## Just_Jen (Jan 19, 2009)

Sorry it took me so long to reply to the messages. It's because ive been really poorly lately, had a bitch of a chest infection and i havent really wanted to think about it. Ive been so busy. But now i think im ready to face it all and get it sorted...


Mossy and Sandie, thank you very much for well, i dont want to say sticking up for me but that's the only way i can put it. Perhaps not giving up on me would be a better way of putting it. 

i think i may be ready to get rid of the security blanket. I think i just needed it to sink in that it is something that i shouldnt be ashamed of (though my mother has been saying that it's my fault, obviously wrongly) and that its something that needs sorting sooner rather then later. Im going to get a drs appointment for thursday (i got a day off) and see what's going on with myself. 

I wont quite sort the bingeing out yet, but im certainly going to take on the other poster's advice.Im going to start by taking small steps and eating 3 meals a day so i dont get so hungry i just eat everything. to me i think thats a good step to stop bingeing. 

Thank for for the offers of help. it is very much appreciated.. <3


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## Sandie S-R (Jan 19, 2009)

Just_Jen said:


> Sorry it took me so long to reply to the messages. It's because ive been really poorly lately, had a bitch of a chest infection and i havent really wanted to think about it. Ive been so busy. But now i think im ready to face it all and get it sorted...
> 
> 
> Mossy and Sandie, thank you very much for well, i dont want to say sticking up for me but that's the only way i can put it. Perhaps not giving up on me would be a better way of putting it.
> ...




Jen, I'm really happy for you. You've got the right attitude. Sweetie, you are so worth taking care of yourself!! I know that mothers can have an awful impact on our self image. Bit I'm definitely old enough to be your Mom, and I promise that your Mom is wrong. Your having diabetes is not your fault, neither is being fat. Our bodies are such a delicate balance of so many things, and we are clearly learning more and more that it is sooooo not about just eating. 

If you feel like it, please let us know how your Dr appt goes. And if you need someone to talk to about anything your Doc suggests or tells you, you are welcome to contact me privately. Be sure that before you go, take the time to write down any questions you have about diabetes and/or treatments for it. You will likely be rather nervous during your appt, and having thought it out ahead of time will likely pay off. Also, if you can take a good friend with you who cares about you and will help advocate for you, it really helps you to feel more in charge. Remember, this is your body and your health - you need to be the one in charge. 

I'm really proud of you for taking the step. And again please let us know how you do. 

big hugs to you


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## SoliloquyOfaSiren (Jan 20, 2009)

As someone who suffers from bulimia....I commend you for taking the appropriate steps towards recovery and healthier behaviours. I myself am still recovering and I want to let you know you have a friend here who can relate and you can talk to if you ever need support or if you just want to talk. Best of luck Jen!!!!

~Audrey~


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## Angellore (Feb 14, 2009)

Jen - I have only just found this thread and it totally hit me. I am exactly the same as far as bingeing is concerned. I just can't seem to eat normally. I spent so many years dieting, that now I have decided not to I just seem to eat everything in sight. I thought, once I got used to not dieting anymore I would calm down, but I just totally haven't. I feel like there must be something wrong withme, my programming or something. I just want to eat normally. Also, I would never, ever pick fruit over chocolate or sweets, salad over something fried. I just see all that as health food and don't want it. I feel like I am killing myself. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Now I feel like I've gatecrashed your thread and I totally didn't mean to do that. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.


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## Just_Jen (Feb 14, 2009)

Angellore said:


> Jen - I have only just found this thread and it totally hit me. I am exactly the same as far as bingeing is concerned. I just can't seem to eat normally. I spent so many years dieting, that now I have decided not to I just seem to eat everything in sight. I thought, once I got used to not dieting anymore I would calm down, but I just totally haven't. I feel like there must be something wrong withme, my programming or something. I just want to eat normally. Also, I would never, ever pick fruit over chocolate or sweets, salad over something fried. I just see all that as health food and don't want it. I feel like I am killing myself. I just don't know what to do anymore.
> 
> Now I feel like I've gatecrashed your thread and I totally didn't mean to do that. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.



you have so not gatecrashed my thread. im glad to know that im not alone <3 Thank you for posting. 
It's hard being a binger and i can say that the only reason i havent majorly binged the past couple of days is because i have no food in my house. I too dieted for years, it completely screws you up doesnt it.

*HUGS* have you gotten any help for your binge eating? Maybe go and see a doctor. Ive heard counselling can help you work through issues, n psychotherapy, i just dont have time to try it.


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## Tooz (Feb 14, 2009)

Just_Jen said:


> Sorry it took me so long to reply to the messages. It's because ive been really poorly lately, had a bitch of a chest infection and i havent really wanted to think about it. Ive been so busy. But now i think im ready to face it all and get it sorted...
> 
> 
> Mossy and Sandie, thank you very much for well, i dont want to say sticking up for me but that's the only way i can put it. Perhaps not giving up on me would be a better way of putting it.
> ...



Did you get to that appointment? Did they determine if you've got Diabetes?


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## Just_Jen (Feb 14, 2009)

they didn't have an appointment! BAH! 
but i've got another day off on weds so im going to make one for then


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## Visceria (Feb 15, 2009)

Good luck Jen, I really hope that your appointment brings you relief instead of more worry  You might not think so, but you are being very brave.


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## steely (Feb 17, 2009)

As someone who was diagnosed with diabetes 6 days ago,get checked.I lost my eyesight for two weeks before I realised what the problem was,even though I have the crappiest eating habits in the world.Cake for breakfast,anyone?

It sucks and I mean it sucks worse than anything I've ever gone through considering my life is miserable without food but it's not as miserable as being blind.It's not as miserable as losing your feet or leg.It's not as miserable as kidney failure.

It's depressing and sad but you didn't do it to yourself.More than likely it was done to you by your genes.It's forcing me to take care of myself.I don't know why I have an aversion to taking care of myself but there it is.Sounds like you're a little bit like me.Don't end up in the dentist's office with a blood sugar of 410 and everyone thinks you're going into a coma.Get help before the damage is done.My eyesight came back after I cut all sugar out of my diet.Thank God for small things.


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