# What do you FA's expect from your BBW's and SSBBW's ?



## bigsexy920 (Apr 8, 2006)

Misty asked the same question to the women reguarding the men. I'm curious as to what you men are expecting from us. 

I really can't wait to see what you all have to say.


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## ataraxia (Apr 8, 2006)

I expect people (women and men, large and small) to be real people. To have thoughts in their heads, and frequently to let those thoughts out. To do the things that are worth doing, and those that have to be done, and not the other things. I expect to find _life_ inside.

I could turn this into a "Who I'm looking for" (as in a personal ad) thread, but that doesn't seem like the right thing to do.


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## Fuzzy (Apr 8, 2006)

What?! Its as if the Goddess Athena has given me her expectations, which I have no problem with, and then, from the loftiest heights.. asks me what I expect of her. Well...

I would just expect that she didn't forget me. That she would hold my hand, share a secret or two, forgive my short-sighted tendencies, let me know when I've screwed up, to talk to me when the times are bad, to rejoice with me when the times are good. 

That we may grow old together.


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## HassanChop (Apr 9, 2006)

In regards to what? A date, marriage, sex, original or extra crispy?


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## eightyseven (Apr 9, 2006)

I don't think what you look for in someone (except for physically/sexually) has to do with being an FA/BBW/SSBBW. Just because I'm more physically attracted to fat chicks, doesn't mean I hold them to different personal standards as any other woman I'd meet or be interested in.


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## bigsexy920 (Apr 9, 2006)

HassanChop said:


> In regards to what? A date, marriage, sex, original or extra crispy?




I guess it's really just an extention of what Misty asked.I think it has to do with how you expect us to be when we are with you. How you want us to relate to you in reguard to preferance. If you read AnnMaries answer to Misty on the thread you can see there are times that we have special needs so to speak. So maybe what are yours? 

There is no wrong way to answer. It's just an answer. I didnt expect a question.


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## Fuzzy (Apr 9, 2006)

I think the expectations differ just slightly. If not from a humorous perspective.. ie.. when you play steamroller with us... be gentle.


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## AnnMarie (Apr 9, 2006)

bigsexy920 said:


> I guess it's really just an extention of what Misty asked.I think it has to do with how you expect us to be when we are with you. How you want us to relate to you in reguard to preferance. If you read AnnMaries answer to Misty on the thread you can see there are times that we have special needs so to speak. So maybe what are yours?
> 
> There is no wrong way to answer. It's just an answer. I didnt expect a question.




LOL... right, something like: 

_I expect her to appreciate a nice belly rub, or to not insist on having sex with the lights off. I expect that she'd get dessert when she wants it, and not be afraid of what I'll think (or maybe she KNOWS what I'm thinking!), etc... _

C'mon guys. We played!


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## AnnMarie (Apr 9, 2006)

Fuzzy said:


> I think the expectations differ just slightly. If not from a humorous perspective.. ie.. when you play steamroller with us... be gentle.



LOL, exactly, like that.


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## eightyseven (Apr 9, 2006)

I guess in that case... I'd expect her to enjoy the fact that I can't stop staring at her because I'm so attracted, to not worry about getting on top because that's incredibly sexy, to feel sexy when going out, to like to hold hands in public, and to cuddle/snuggle... ALOT


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## bellylover (Apr 9, 2006)

Where is that question about what BBWs expect from FAs?

I don't *expect* anything from her, but I would like it if I could be a true FA with her. With that I mean that she understands my appreciation for her belly and her round figure in general. Or maybe that is already too much, she doesn't have to understand it (although that would be so nice), but at least accept it. Accept me to touch her belly when she is sitting. Know how to use her body to seduce me, in a confident way, instead of tyring to hide it. Have an open mind in bed (and with that I do not mean open mind about fantasies or so, but open as in: not constantly affraid that she is going to hurt me with her weight). Not feel guilty over what she eats, but enjoy it. Maybe BBWs and SSBBWs have to be a FFA themselves before understanding us FAs.

In short: be confident and proud. It makes all the difference in the world and I think that is what most FAs would die for. 

And in my deepest fantasies, she would not only enjoy the food, but also if she gains. And in my very deepest fantasies she would eat to gain weight, but before that happens, I would need to be more confident as a SSBBW lover.


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## gangstadawg (Apr 9, 2006)

start excepting shorter FAs. damn women liking tall men all the time. pisses me off LOL.


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## Blackjack_Jeeves (Apr 9, 2006)

I'll go ahead and post something on here, though I'm not sure how clear I can be on my thoughts...
I am of the mindset that, in a relationship, it's the man's job to care for his lady. Some would call it pampering, but I just simply look at it as doing the best job that I can for making her happy. I'm all about making people happy, and that goes tenfold for my girlfriend. So MY expectations, not just of BBW's, is that she accepts that she is the center of my attention whenever she's in sight (and often when she's not, too), and that she accepts my little quirks for what they are: quirks. I'm not a germophobe... but close. LoL She has to be forgiving (for I make many mistakes) and she has to understand me, for sometimes I struggle to say what it is I really want to say... kind of one of those "Listen to what I'm NOT saying" things...
I think most of all, though, is that she has to let me care for her in every way possible... I'm not saying be a stay-at-home woman and have no life, I would never restrict anyone from living as they wish... I just mean that if she lets me care for her, and learns to enjoy it as much as I do, that to me is the ultimate sign of trust, of love... It would be her version of caring for me in a way... I don't mind the occasional reciprocation, such as if I was sick. 
If she was a BBW, I expect that she would also (at the least) accept that I love her body as it is, and that she understands that while I may wish and dream of a different result, I would never push that on her, and would support any decision she makes on the matter. AND, I suppose my ultimate goal or expectation is that she should be happy with her body and herself. I will be there to help her be happy, but I can't do it alone, and sometimes like most people she may just want to "stay mad for a while." I can deal with that, but in the end, she has to know that I love her for her, and I would never look at her and feel that she would have to improve for me. I am happy with her just as she is.

I also expect my lady to enjoy her food... :eat2: 

Wow... that ended up long.... apologies to all.


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## Krazykhat (Apr 9, 2006)

I can answer this in one word. CONFIDENCE. The is absolutly nothing in the world more sexy to me than a truely confident BBW.


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## MsGreenLantern (Apr 9, 2006)

BlackJack_jeevies lordy boy. 

Thats all I have to say to that :smitten:


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## big_gurl_lvr (Apr 9, 2006)

I guess some guys already said it but here is my humble opinion:
-Smile A LOT
-Be genuine
-Don't care too much about minor bad things... but also not being careless
-Find happiness in small minor things
-Have friends and her social life
-Care about her apperance, but not only about cloths... lady in track pants can be incredibly sexy
-Be proud of her body - HUGE turn on
-Finding me attractive
-Like teasing me about her size
-Be open-minded
-Don't complain about her tushie and telling that she is going to diet
-If she gains - tease me about it

But.... You can write all features of you IDEAL woman and you will find ONE you will love and you won't care if she fits. You will care when you gonna see her next time


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## ataraxia (Apr 9, 2006)

big_gurl_lvr said:


> But.... You can write all features of you IDEAL woman and you will find ONE you will love and you won't care if she fits. You will care when you gonna see her next time


This is a fine and true point.


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Apr 9, 2006)

bigsexy920 said:


> Misty asked the same question to the women reguarding the men. I'm curious as to what you men are expecting from us.
> 
> I really can't wait to see what you all have to say.



The answer is simple. I expext an intelligent woman who can think for herself and carry on a great conversation, a person who is unconventional, a woman who is has a great sense of humor, and most importantly, someone who is kind, caring, and enjoys most of the same things I do.


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## Littleghost (Apr 9, 2006)

I expect her to have 23 pairs of chromosomes (man, I hope that's the right number...) two of which should be X's. Or at the very least (s)he should be very good fooling me into thinking she does. It'd probably help that she's attracted to me, and doesn't have objections to embracing it, and me.  I also expect that she is of legal age as I have moved into that range, and preferably younger than my mom. (no offense, mommy) It also helps that she be of reasonably sound mind, and softer body. I'd like it if she treated me more or less the way she expects to be treated and speaks a comprehensible english. (I'm sorry, Mary the aborigine, it's over.) She should be able to laugh, does frequently, and makes jokes as well. Giving and receiving affection is good too. I'm a bit picky, but eh, what can I say?

Hey! my 100th post!!
--Littleghost


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## Tad (Apr 9, 2006)

I got married well before I knew of this community, and I never did do much dating (I counted on beginners luck to make my first serious relationship a keeper *L* ). Back then I had some ideas of what I was looking for, but it turned out that most of those were wrong. Looking back, and thinking in the abstract, I'll offer the following:

- Willingness to be beautiful, to be considered beautiful, and to occasionally flaunt that beauty.

- Acceptance that a sane person can be attracted to you just the way you are, and enjoyment of that fact.

- At least a smidgen of satisfaction that you don't have to play by the rules that so many women think they have to play by.

Other than that, none of it really pertains to being a BBW, just a human being.

-Ed


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## herin (Apr 9, 2006)

I'm loving this thread. Being rather inexperienced with men, FAs in particular, I am finding your posts to be informative and rather sweet. I'm 27 and in my first "real" relationship. By real, I mean a guy who is *proud *to call me his girl. Who is *proud* to go out in public with me. I've been a booty call too many times for my taste, but when you're getting nothing, you take what you can get, right?  

My boyfriend is so easy to please. I don't have to *do* anything or *be *anything but myself for him to love me. He says all he wants to do is take care of me. I'm not used to this, but I think I could get used to it!  

Anyway, thanks all you FAs for all your posts, past and present. Thanks for showing me that he's not crazy for being crazy about me. That there are some _really_ wonderful men in the world.


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## djewell (Apr 9, 2006)

I expect that my bbw and ssbbw, in so far as she is mine, will not forget that she is a woman unto herself, and that her life beforehand was just as fulfilling if not more so than after she met me. 

What I'm saying here is that any woman to whom I attach myself must not define herself in terms of me, i.e., I am reb daniel's wife, but rather, were reb daniel to die, I would be alright.

I would want her largeness to translate into moral, spiritual and mental strength. She should be a pillar of the house. 

PS. she must want children, and she must be an orthodox jew


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## MisticalMisty (Apr 10, 2006)

djewell said:


> PS. she must want children, and she must be an orthodox jew



Picky, Picky  I kid..seriously..kidding


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## ripley (Apr 10, 2006)

herin said:


> I'm loving this thread. Being rather inexperienced with men, FAs in particular, I am finding your posts to be informative and rather sweet. I'm 27 and in my first "real" relationship. By real, I mean a guy who is *proud *to call me his girl. Who is *proud* to go out in public with me. I've been a booty call too many times for my taste, but when you're getting nothing, you take what you can get, right?
> 
> My boyfriend is so easy to please. I don't have to *do* anything or *be *anything but myself for him to love me. He says all he wants to do is take care of me. I'm not used to this, but I think I could get used to it!
> 
> Anyway, thanks all you FAs for all your posts, past and present. Thanks for showing me that he's not crazy for being crazy about me. That there are some _really_ wonderful men in the world.




That's so sweet on it's own, Herin.  You are a lucky girl to have a guy that you seem to love so much!


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## moonvine (Apr 10, 2006)

herin said:


> I've been a booty call too many times for my taste, but when you're getting nothing, you take what you can get, right?




I say no, no, and no again. I'd much rather have "nothing" than be a "booty call." 

Except I don't have "nothing." I have friends who love me and volunteer work and school and a job. I just don't have a boyfriend at this time.


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## sunandshadow (Apr 10, 2006)

What exactly IS a booty call?


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## moonvine (Apr 10, 2006)

sunandshadow said:


> What exactly IS a booty call?



When someone calls you up just wanting sex (or ims you or texts you or whatever).


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## djewell (Apr 10, 2006)

MisticalMisty said:


> Picky, Picky  I kid..seriously..kidding



its cool.


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## sunandshadow (Apr 10, 2006)

moonvine said:


> When someone calls you up just wanting sex (or ims you or texts you or whatever).



I'm assuming this is a guy you already know? Because if a random guy calls you on the phone and asks for sex that's called harrassment or stalking or something.

Hmm, so does it count as a booty call if a male friend calls you up and says, we're having a party and we need more women to be there, will you show up?


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## moonvine (Apr 10, 2006)

sunandshadow said:


> I'm assuming this is a guy you already know? Because if a random guy calls you on the phone and asks for sex that's called harrassment or stalking or something.
> 
> Hmm, so does it count as a booty call if a male friend calls you up and says, we're having a party and we need more women to be there, will you show up?




Well, random guys don't have access to my phone number, and any guy who called me asking for sex would have his number blocked so fast - well, really fast, I'm a fast typer! I am not an expert on this term - hey, aren't you younger than me? You should know

However, I would say that your scenario does not count, unless your male friend is expecting you to have sex with him after your arrival at the party.


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## Sensualbbwcurves (Mar 28, 2010)

Fuzzy said:


> What?! Its as if the Goddess Athena has given me her expectations, which I have no problem with, and then, from the loftiest heights.. asks me what I expect of her. Well...
> 
> I would just expect that she didn't forget me. That she would hold my hand, share a secret or two, forgive my short-sighted tendencies, let me know when I've screwed up, to talk to me when the times are bad, to rejoice with me when the times are good.
> 
> That we may grow old together.



*This is soooo sweet and I needed to read this Today to realize that there are actually men out there that are like what I make up in my head..I hope that makes sense..LOL*


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## Victim (Mar 29, 2010)

Just don't be AFRAID to be yourself. Don't try and fullfil our expectations of what you think we want you to be. We might discover something we we're NOT expecting.

What I'm trying to say, is read what is in this thread, but ignore it completely and just do whatever you want.


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## Will S (Mar 29, 2010)

Same thing as any other girl???? Am I wrong??


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## bbwsrule (Mar 30, 2010)

I would want someone just like my wife: 

.beautiful and willing to accept fully that I feel that way about her (even if she has reservations about her weight). I especially appreciate not too
much self-criticism about her body (preferably none, but most women 
can't manage that).

.Crazy about me (mutual feeling of course). And sex too of course.
And, wants lots of affection and admiration from me (which doesn't
always lead to sex).

.smart, conversational, compassionate, caring, determined, challenging.

.good sense of humor.

.can introduce me to new things I can enjoy.

.cares about her grooming and wardrobe.

."Fat talk" is NOT important. If she likes it, great but if not I don't need to dwell in it personally. If she loved my bellybutton I wouldn't want to hear about it constantly (not a very good comparison perhaps...).


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## UMBROBOYUM (Mar 30, 2010)

to be treated like a person and be respected.


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## superodalisque (Mar 30, 2010)

wow! sounds like you guys want pretty much what we want. who'd have thunk it?


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## NYCGabriel (Mar 30, 2010)

bigsexy920 said:


> Misty asked the same question to the women reguarding the men. I'm curious as to what you men are expecting from us.
> 
> I really can't wait to see what you all have to say.



To really understand we find you attractive regardless of the weight and we'll worship you if you're big or thin, tall or short.


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## Ernest Nagel (Mar 30, 2010)

Authenticity, no pretenses. Be completely yourself. It gives us the confidence to do the same, which isn't easy for most of us.


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## bigbri (Apr 1, 2010)

Please don't paint us with the brush from a prior relationship. If you like one thing or another, don't hide it because your last b/f did not like it or whatever. Give us a chance to respond for ourselves. Also, I know there is another thread with this question, taking the initiative for intimacy at least part of the time is a great turn on. It gives us the cofidence to reply in kind, which we want to do...REALLY.


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## Paragon_of_boredom (Apr 2, 2010)

I suppose a straight forward type of personality.


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## StaySafeTonight (Apr 3, 2010)

Hmmm... Honestly my expectations really have little to do with the BBW/SSBBW aspect.

After having been in a long and deep relationship that ended due to my ex's own insecurity-

- I need a woman who is confident in herself, and proud of herself, who she is, her talents/abilities, actions, morals, and in her appearance.

-Accepting or even appreciative that I love her for everything she is- both mentally and physically.

-Able to do things on her own, and to be responsible. I want to do things for her because I want to, not because she's dependent on me.

-I want a strong, but considerate woman. Someone who will stand her ground, but will realize when she's wrong. Someone who will certainly keep me in line when I'm wrong or out of line as well.

-I don't mean to sound like a horndog- but I'm very passionate and I have a strong libido, and I need a woman who has the same. I also need someone who is comfortable with sex, and comfortable with being sexy.

And this last one isn't an expectation- more of a want. I want a woman who reacts positively when she finds out she gained weight!


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## The Orange Mage (Apr 3, 2010)

what do i expect?

just don't make me feel like a freak/asshole for what i like

and let me touch belly/upper arms when needed

that's all


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## Bigbud1 (Apr 4, 2010)

I expect someone to be real, honest and not living in a fantasy world.


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## wrench13 (Apr 8, 2010)

I expect her to get in the kitchen and make me a pie! 
*J/K - quote from Southpark*.

Just to be herself - afterall that's what attraced me to her in the first place


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## chicken legs (Apr 8, 2010)

To adopt a "can do" attitude.


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## chicken legs (Apr 8, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> To adopt a "can do" attitude.



I wanted to add a story to my statement....

My neice hit supersize by the time she graduated. She had a very very negative (emotionally abusive) father (my brother) and a mother (totally sweet personality) who lost her fight long ago as well...(her mom had a asshole of a mother and my brother was the cherry on top). I'm eleven years older than her and started having more contact with her when she hit her teens and realized food was her drug of choice. I taught her how to fight back whenever I got a chance (she has a sweet personality like her mom). I never liked my brother and this situation really sealed the deal on our relationship but my neice ended up graduating with honors. She also joined weight training classes at school and got down to a more managable weight. She is a total amazon..lol..and ended up being stronger than most guys in her class. The cool thing is she returned the favor by helping me get my fight back when I hit my 30's and we both worked on her mom.


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## bmann0413 (Apr 9, 2010)

Three simple words.

To be loved.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 10, 2010)

bmann0413 said:


> Three simple words.
> 
> To be loved.



Good answer Lloyd


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## t3h_n00b (Apr 10, 2010)

I don't expect them to be mine (I don't own them). I expect bbws and ssbbws to be their own people just like everyone else.


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## t3h_n00b (Apr 10, 2010)

sunandshadow said:


> What exactly IS a booty call?



A wrong number.


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## quackman (Apr 11, 2010)

This thread takes me back to the heyday of AOL or usenet and wanting to just post "Me too".

As many others have said mostly I'd expect the same things that I would in a relationship with any woman. Support, love, understanding, companionship, etc...

I think that I would call these hopes rather than expectations, but I join many who have more eloquently stated that we love our BBWs to believe us when we state our love for their bodies both because they are theirs and for their intrinsic aesthetic and tactile values. I'd also hope her to have confidence in her body in the bedroom, in choosing clothing and in all other areas. 

I also have enough insecurity in my own body and some, although certainly not total, understanding of the pressures on women from society and media that I can't expect any of that. To be honest, and being on this board has taught me that there are many exceptions, I expect that most BBWs, and for that matter most women, aren't very confident about their bodies.

The one expectation that I have that is really specific to dating a larger woman is that she lets me know any issues she has that are specific to her size. My last girlfriend had to remind me a few times about walking speeds and distances that she was and was not capable of. This kind of thing is actually why I joined dims, but I'd rather get the information that is specific to a woman rather than than the wisdom of the masses.


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## Ned Sonntag (Apr 11, 2010)

NO EXPECTATIONS 
(M. Jagger/K. Richards) 

Take me to the station 
And put me on a train 
I've got no expectations 
To pass through here again 

Once I was a rich man and 
Now I am so poor 
But never in my sweet short life 
Have I felt like this before 

You heart is like a diamond 
You throw your pearls at swine 
And as I watch you leaving me 
You pack my peace of mind 

Our love was like the water 
That splashes on a stone 
Our love is like our music 
Its here, and then its gone 

So take me to the airport 
And put me on a plane 
I got no expectations 
To pass through here again :blush:


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## bigmac (Apr 11, 2010)

bigsexy920 said:


> I'm curious as to what you men are expecting from us.



#1. She has to be smart -- there's nothing worse than starting a conversation with a beautiful woman only to discover she has the IQ of a turnip.

#2. She has to be ambitious -- I'm not equating ambition with money although they often go together -- she needs to have some goal she's working towards (be it making Partner, going to grad school, or starting up an organic farm).

#3. She has to have a kind heart -- pretty self evident -- who wants to be with an evil bitch.

#4. She has to like me.


I'm very fortunate that I found someone (after a rather extensive search) that fits the bill.


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Apr 11, 2010)

To not put up your psychological shield upon realizing that we are interested.


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## furious styles (Apr 11, 2010)

wear jeans sometimes


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## AnnMarie (Apr 11, 2010)

furious styles said:


> wear jeans sometimes



Can we wear them pretty much all the time? Because that's basically where I fall.


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## exile in thighville (Apr 11, 2010)

grilled steak


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