# quick question



## Suze (Mar 13, 2008)

Just out of curiosity...if you had the opportunity at this very moment, would you choose being fat or thin? "Something in between" is not an option.
This is mainly a question for fat people, but others can (off course) join in.

Personally, I would choose thin. Though I would have missed my current bod' its easier on many levels. The MOST preferable would be in between/a lil chubby. But wait...thats not an option!! 

*edit: I meant to say Fat/Thin NOT Yes/No. Sorry, it's late here.*


----------



## OverdriveAddict (Mar 13, 2008)

I chose yes, mostly because if I was able to make myself "thin" instantly, then that would probably be a good way to eliminate any insecurities about my body.

However, I think that this question is a little skewed. To ask if we would chose to be "thin" or not, framed in today's society is essentially asking, "If you had the choice, would you like you body to conform to all the standards that society has deemed attractive?" We're told thin, sculpted, muscular is sexy...anything but, is not. So it would take someone who extremely sure and/or comfortable with him/herself to decline such a "godlike" offer.

That's just my take...


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Mar 13, 2008)

Declining. I wouldn't trade who I am for anything, even acceptance by mainstream society.

*Fat.*


----------



## AnnMarie (Mar 13, 2008)

OverdriveAddict said:


> ...it would take someone who extremely sure and/or comfortable with him/herself to decline such a "godlike" offer...




Thank you.


----------



## Ash (Mar 13, 2008)

Stayin' fat, thanks.


----------



## NancyGirl74 (Mar 13, 2008)

I'll own up and say thin. I've come a long way to accepting myself as a fat person and I'm proud of how much I've changed for the better. Still, if my fairy godmother came and offered to sprinkle me with SkinnyNow fairy dust I'd do it. But since my fairy godmother is a lazy bitch and never around when I need her I'll continue to try to be accepting of the flabulously fat body I have now.

Good question.


----------



## Isa (Mar 13, 2008)

I think "something in between" should have been an option. Personally I have no desire to be thin, just somewhat less fat.


----------



## bigsexy920 (Mar 13, 2008)

You need a third question - " in the middle" id pick that - not thin not fat


----------



## Jon Blaze (Mar 13, 2008)

I'm thin. I've been heavier before. I wish you would have had a "Either/or" answer.
YAY! I'm more accepted by society! 
But I lost a lot of my strength and abilities when I got thinner. NOT YAY!   

But seriously- When I was heavier, I started to go through the process of positive body image. I am ok the with the way I am, but if puberty never struck me like it did: I think I would be ok. I was a fat and fit individual back then.


----------



## Jane (Mar 13, 2008)

Thin. And I bet I can stretch out that thin body beyond recognition in six months...okay two months.


----------



## Keb (Mar 14, 2008)

Thin. As I've said before, there's things I would ask for first--many of them--but my preference would be to be about a size 12. Smaller than that and I think I'd blow away in the wind, large as my frame is. But...yes...it'd be nice to not worry about breaking furniture, trade clothes with my sister, get starring roles in movies and have a million men rushing to put their coats over puddles in front of me. And all the other things we're promised if we'll only lose the weight.

*sigh*


----------



## bexy (Mar 14, 2008)

*never been thin and far to lazy to start tryin to get used to a new body, also my boyfriend wouldnt be too happy lol and none of my clothes would fit...and i have nice clothes! 

i wouldnt be as different, wouldnt stand out as much, wouldnt feel like "me"..

so fat is where its at and where its staying at *


----------



## Just_Jen (Mar 14, 2008)

i would choose thin purely for the clothing opportunities!!! 
it's sooo much easier to look good in certain styles when you're thin, much more choice and all..


----------



## Famouslastwords (Mar 14, 2008)

I'd murder someone just to be a size 18/20 again. I was sooooo hot at that weight.

Well, I'm still hot....but you know what I mean.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Mar 14, 2008)

When I was 'thin' I was treated like a piece of meat. I was nothing more than a booby bimbo in the eyes or the world, was often mistreated and received flagrant unwanted advances from beer drinkers, breath stinkers and freaks without fail. I was often criticized for what I wore and would be called loose for wearing the same fashions everyone else was and being shy was interpreted as being conceited and stuck up. My closest friends were often my fiercest adversaries in constant subtle competition. I would never go back to being thin for _any_ reason.


----------



## TallFatSue (Mar 14, 2008)

Quoth the wise philosopher Popeye: "I yam what I yam."

Life would be much more convenient if I were thin, but my fat is one of the many threads which have woven the tapestry of my life, and heaven knows what would happen if I plucked out that particular thread. I'm positive that obesity has made me a better person because it forced me to think independently and creatively, and helped me realize what is and is not truly important in life. My size is also very handy in my career as an office manager, because it gives me an aura of authority. I'm also just vain enough to think it's fun to stand out in a crowd without particularly trying, and I've learned to use the attention to my advantage most of the time. So methinx I'll keep my fat right where it is. 

On the other hand, I'd love to see what it's like to be thin, just for a week, because I've never been thin. But no doubt I'd miss my fat before long.


----------



## Tina (Mar 14, 2008)

Fat is where it's at!

I've almost always had a fat body and that won't change. I like my softness and don't think I'd like my body all bony. Now, the question is HOW fat. I would love to lose a bit more weight and gain some mobility, but thin? NO THANK YOU!


----------



## Tooz (Mar 14, 2008)

This thread pisses me off, but whatever.

Fat is what I am, it is part of who I am. Any desire to be thin is just ridiculous to me.


----------



## D_A_Bunny (Mar 14, 2008)

I chose FAT. I have always been fat. It is who I am and how I identify with the world. It is part of my relationship with my husband as a fat admirer. It is the group of people that I want to belong to. I would like to be more mobile and have done it before by dropping some weight. But even then, I would still be very fat. So I will "just say no" to the skinny dust.


----------



## k1009 (Mar 14, 2008)

I choose thin, or a little plumper than thin. 80kg would suit me just fine. Life is horrible at this weight. I take up 1.5 seats on the bus or train and I sweat like a mofo. Not to mention that my dream career is very much about image.

Yeah, I know I should be out there changing the world instead of fantasising about changing me.


----------



## ashmamma84 (Mar 14, 2008)

Interesting reading the replies -- it brings to mind that "thin" and "fat" certainly mean different things to different people...

That being said, I am fat, and I like myself (and my fashion choices thankyouverymuch  ) . So, I don't think I'll be changing...


----------



## Jane (Mar 14, 2008)

I've been fat since I was a kid. I would kinda like to see what life would be like from the other side.


----------



## ashmamma84 (Mar 14, 2008)

Jane said:


> I've been fat since I was a kid. I would kinda like to see what life would be like from the other side.



LOL -- I was an average size kid and didn't really put on weight until my late teens...but really, it's nothing to write home about. LOL


----------



## Suze (Mar 14, 2008)

Tooz said:


> This thread pisses me off, but whatever.


Why? :huh:


I kinda regret I didn't add a 3rd option. But having just 2 makes it more interesting imo. 

Oh..and its almost 50/50 in the poll!


----------



## BrunetteBeauty80 (Mar 14, 2008)

I'll stay fat. I've always been fat. I have never known anything different. I think if I was to suddenly wake up skinny, I would lose myself. I would lose who I have come to love and accept and when looking in the mirror think is pretty. My insecurities would still be there, because they don't have to do with my weight, they have to do with who I am. That wouldn't change overnight just because I was suddenly skinny. I have a great life being fat, and I love who I am. Not to say I wouldn't suddenly like to wake up and have dropped 30lbs. That would be awesome! But, I would never want to wake up skinny. I wouldn't know what to do...


----------



## Risible (Mar 14, 2008)

I'm fat now and I've been ... thinner.  Never thin.

I picked thin. Physically, it is so much easier - and less painful, as my body ages - to be thinner.

Emotionally, mentally, socially - I've had a good life so far being fat (except through grades K-12; things got rough in those years); I wouldn't trade it.


----------



## cnk2cav (Mar 14, 2008)

Because it seems I haven't posted in several weeks, and because I consider an 18/20 as being thin, I chose thin. I haven't been thin since I started school, so I can't really remember it, but I do think it would give me more of a boost in making me live a more fulfilling life.


----------



## GWARrior (Mar 14, 2008)

I picked thin. Kinda like how Ive always wanted to experience being a guy. But only if it lasted a few days.


----------



## Famouslastwords (Mar 15, 2008)

cnk2cav said:


> Because it seems I haven't posted in several weeks, and because I consider an 18/20 as being thin, I chose thin. I haven't been thin since I started school, so I can't really remember it, but I do think it would give me more of a boost in making me live a more fulfilling life.



The weight that I was at when I was a 18/20 was on the heavy side of average, that's thin enough for me!


----------



## Amatrix (Mar 15, 2008)

i have been thinner.... never really thin.

the smallest i was when i was in junior high was a size 8.and that was still considered "big" (my best friend is and was a size 0)
im not saying anything against skinny people... alot of amazing beautiful people are skinny!

BUT!- for me life was hell. to be that size and maintain it... i developed 2 different eating disorders, and was more self conscious then, then I am now.i ran 20-25 minuest *RAN- just jogged... i outran football players* everyother day, with the 20 minuet abs, plus a fulltime job at a news paper riding a bike to deliver papers for 2+ hours each night.
i ate tylenol and tums each am *because my stomahce wouldnt let me keep down the tylenol without something in there, and i chose the tums because it coats your tummy*, one diet soda, then one piece of chicken/beef about the size of my palm, thinner then my finger... and one half cup veggies. i danced in a club for kids my age each weekend and smoked cigs with the "cool" skinny people. i would force myself to see mold and icky things on the food to make myself not eat/sick.


now i am a 28/30 bottom and a 26-24 top.
i voted fat because i love who i am, even if im small or larger.

being the size 8 brought more friends, more dates, more opportunites to do whatever i liked *bus/plane seats are not ment for larger people...* but the amount of torture and restriction i placed upon myself for such an unnatural state... well... you get the idea.
people who are skinny naturally are beautiful, im all for size acceptance. whatever the size. just like my natural size is 22-24 *yea i have gained a bit... silly being in love...pshaw.* 

now i enjoy sushi, walking, swimming, and yes even traveling. the extra seat might cost me more, but the damage i have done to myself i cant ever get back.popcorn is delish, and for a fat persona i am still very active. i walk and swim and work a full time job. i have 3 godchildren, a boyfriend, and a niece.

i do so love being fat though. the softness, and the warmth. i look like a woman to me, which is what matters to me. just like i am sure some thinner people love how they look, and thats what matters to them. thier happiness!


great question though!:bow:


----------



## Leesa (Mar 15, 2008)

I do not know how to be thin. FAT for me, thank you very much!


----------



## goofy girl (Mar 15, 2008)

I'd love to be thin. It just seems like life would be easier..easier to plan to go out and not have to limit myself to a few places that can accommodate me, easier to shop for clothes, easier to shop for furniture, easier to sit on furniture anywhere else I am lol. I like myself at the size I am now, and I accept other people at whatever size they are or want to be-and nobody is better than anyone else for wanting different things or wondering about how it would feel to be different,whether they would like to be bigger or smaller -but I think life might be less stressful and I'd have less anxiety (such as not freaking out before I walk into a new place if I'm going to break the furniture or be able to squeeze down aisles or between tables) if I were smaller.


----------



## olwen (Mar 15, 2008)

I've always been fat, and I have always wanted to know what being thin would be like. LillyBBW, I wonder if I'd experience the same thing you did. I can say that my friend and I both decided to start exercising. I stuck with it and she opted for WLS. We have both lost weight, but she lost more and I was struck by the subtle ways we began to compete over men, and I realized that if we had both been thin when we met we wouldn't be friends because of that. That realization disturbed me a little...but in choosing thin, there's always the very real possibility that one would gain the weight back.


----------



## imfree (Mar 15, 2008)

Thin might be in, but fat is where it's at!
Even when I was thin, I always thought
that fat was sexy.


----------



## Zandoz (Mar 15, 2008)

If thin would come with a guarantee of significantly less pain, I'd say thin...other wise fat is fine by me.

Thin is not necessarily all it's cracked up to be...my brother in law (wife's brother) has always been slim & "fit"...football player, and still as recently as his mid 40s into kick boxing....into eating healthy, and a vitamin and supplement fanatic. Today at 51 he has been in the hospital for going on 2 weeks, and it's not looking good...one after another his systems are just shutting down, for no reason determinable by the doctors. So much for "healthy living".


----------



## Jane (Mar 15, 2008)

I do think "thin", like "rich" brings its own set of problems.

Different problems certainly, but problems nonetheless.

I just wouldn't mind seeing how my life would be without the fat. As I've said, I would stretch out that thin body in no time. Not that I eat enormous amounts, but slowly, steadily I'm sure I would put it back on.


----------



## butch (Mar 15, 2008)

For those of you who chose 'thin,' how many of you would not chose thin if we lived in a world that actually was constructed with fat people in mind? If seating wasn't an issue, if you could have the same clothing options that thin people have (in terms of stylishness and availability), and most people thought being fat was no different than being tall or having red hair or whatever, as a few examples?

I understand that this fatopia probably wouldn't address the physical limitations some fat people have, but I also wonder if we lived in a world that was less fatphobic, if either there would be more effective treatment options available to fat people, or if more fat people would be healthier all together because they weren't living in a world that is so fatphobic, since stress is a big contributor to a lot of health problems.

For the record, I chose 'fat.' Never been thin, never want to be.


----------



## Friday (Mar 15, 2008)

I chose thin. But my thin, not societies. I have at various times in my life been thin and too thin (not disordered, just too damn busy to eat), and fat and too fat, to where it was threatening my mobility and my health. I'm back down now to just fat and I could be content with that except for the fact that I have too many medical problems that could be helped by losing more weight. I would never want to be as thin as I was when I was a teen, but I'd like to weigh what I weighed when I quit getting hit on by slimeballs like Lilly mentioned. The arthritis in my lower back would be happier, my chronically deteriorating knee joints and orthotic wearing feet would be happier and my insulin resistance would probably go the rest of the way away. But that would only take an average 50 year old thin which is probably at least 40lbs more than the actuarial tables say I should weigh. That's my thin.


----------



## Jane (Mar 15, 2008)

Friday said:


> I chose thin. But my thin, not societies. I have at various times in my life been thin and too thin (not disordered, just too damn busy to eat), and fat and too fat, to where it was threatening my mobility and my health. I'm back down now to just fat and I could be content with that except for the fact that I have too many medical problems that could be helped by losing more weight. I would never want to be as thin as I was when I was a teen, but I'd like to weigh what I weighed when I quit getting hit on by slimeballs like Lilly mentioned. The arthritis in my lower back would be happier, my chronically deteriorating knee joints and orthotic wearing feet would be happier and my insulin resistance would probably go the rest of the way away. But that would only take an average 50 year old thin which is probably at least 40lbs more than the actuarial tables say I should weigh. That's my thin.



I got down to 170 pounds at one time (I have no idea what size I was, I was 5'7" at the time, and have always had my grandmother's legacy of hips meant for birthing them babies). I had no trouble turning aside advances, and I did have more at that weight than when I had been 326 pounds in college.

I think part of that was the way I felt about myself (thought I had REALLY acheived something, because that's what OTHER PEOPLE had said I needed to do). I think most of it was idiocy, though.


----------



## Tooz (Mar 15, 2008)

susieQ said:


> Why? :huh:



Are you serious?
This thread is ridiculous.
~*hai gaiz, lez post about dreamin of bein thin on a bord wher da idea iz 2 b ok w/ur fat self*~

It's just basically lookin' like a setback in a way-- a place for everyong to bitch and moan about how being thin is ultimately better.


----------



## OverdriveAddict (Mar 15, 2008)

Tooz said:


> ~*hai gaiz, lez post about dreamin of bein thin on a bord wher da idea iz 2 b ok w/ur fat self*~


The question wasn't framed in that manner whatsoever. If that's how you construed the question in your mind, then that's just your way of belittling the poster's question...


Tooz said:


> It's just basically lookin' like a setback in a way-- a place for everyong to bitch and moan about how being thin is ultimately better.


In case you haven't noticed, a number of people chose the _latter_ option. People have there different opinions and perspectives on this issue. Just because others harbor different feelings on an issue doesn't make them inherently wrong. This is a legitimate topic of discussion, especially on a board like this...


----------



## Theresa48 (Mar 15, 2008)

I would choose to be thin. Not because I hate being fat (which I don't) or think there would be societal advantages to being thin, but because I am at the age where the fat I carry (it is a lot) makes it difficult for me to do the things I used to do with ease even at the same weight I am now.


----------



## Jane (Mar 15, 2008)

It's not dreaming. I can't think of anyone who is deluded enough to think they are going to wake up tomorrow morning thin.

So, if wondering "what if" is dreaming...what about people who buy lottery tickets, think they might find a decent job, or who hope for a spouse they can love and respect?

Dreaming, hoping, and speculating are all different things.


----------



## Van (Mar 15, 2008)

I prefer fat as long as I am healthy.


----------



## Jes (Mar 15, 2008)

Tooz said:


> It's just basically lookin' like a setback in a way-- a place for everyong to bitch and moan about how being thin is ultimately better.



Have you actually read this thread?


----------



## LoveBHMS (Mar 15, 2008)

Tooz said:


> Are you serious?
> This thread is ridiculous.
> ~*hai gaiz, lez post about dreamin of bein thin on a bord wher da idea iz 2 b ok w/ur fat self*~
> 
> It's just basically lookin' like a setback in a way-- a place for everyong to bitch and moan about how being thin is ultimately better.



It's happened again. And honestly, I have nothing against people liking or not liking their size; I don't think it's possible to prod people into liking or accepting something they don't like. I also see nothing wrong with wanting to be a different size or taking steps to make it happen.

Where I think it comes off a step back is it somewhat feels like an opening for a "Admit it. You say you accept yourself but given the chance, you'd be different...right...?"

And as an average sized person, I've actually found myself getting hurt/angry by some of the comments regarding negative experiences of being smaller. Now obviously my hurt/anger is not relevent---these are peoples' experiences and they are what they are. They can't be qualified nor should they be. But even though each poster said "This happened with me" I could not help but think "Well, that's not true of all smaller people."


----------



## goofy girl (Mar 15, 2008)

LoveBHMS said:


> It's happened again. And honestly, I have nothing against people liking or not liking their size; I don't think it's possible to prod people into liking or accepting something they don't like. I also see nothing wrong with wanting to be a different size or taking steps to make it happen.
> 
> Where I think it comes off a step back is it somewhat feels like an opening for a "Admit it. You say you accept yourself but given the chance, you'd be different...right...?"
> 
> And as an average sized person, I've actually found myself getting hurt/angry by some of the comments regarding negative experiences of being smaller. Now obviously my hurt/anger is not relevent---these are peoples' experiences and they are what they are. They can't be qualified nor should they be. But even though each poster said "This happened with me" I could not help but think "Well, that's not true of all smaller people."



Couldn't that be said for many aspects of a person though, not just weight? Lawyers become teachers...redheads become brunette...men become women. Just because you accept and love yourself doesn't mean you would never welcome change.


----------



## AnnMarie (Mar 15, 2008)

LoveBHMS said:


> It's happened again. And honestly, I have nothing against people liking or not liking their size; I don't think it's possible to prod people into liking or accepting something they don't like. I also see nothing wrong with wanting to be a different size or taking steps to make it happen.
> 
> Where I think it comes off a step back is it somewhat feels like an opening for a "Admit it. You say you accept yourself but given the chance, you'd be different...right...?"
> 
> And as an average sized person, I've actually found myself getting hurt/angry by some of the comments regarding negative experiences of being smaller. Now obviously my hurt/anger is not relevent---these are peoples' experiences and they are what they are. They can't be qualified nor should they be. But even though each poster said "This happened with me" I could not help but think "Well, that's not true of all smaller people."



I kind of agree with you both, but I have to admit, I like reading things like this. I feel rather cemented in my life, my body, my head... I know, and like, who I am for the most part. I have not just "accepted" (sounds like accepting your fate, in a negative way) who I am, but embraced it. There's a difference. 

The women I know, who've answered here that they'd remain fat, have not merely accepted their bodies, they've embraced them. They've identified with them, and that provides me with strength in my own position, knowing I'm not alone in that feeling. 

So, while it can be disheartening to me to read the "more opportunities... enhanced social experiences...." type stuff, it's buoying to me to see those who feel the same as me.


----------



## Amatrix (Mar 15, 2008)

just a bit more insight....

well... i liked myself even when i was doing the horrid things to myself to be thinner.if i didnt like myself then i wouldnt have cared as much as i did, and wouldnt have gone to that extreme.

but i still know i do love me. and i wouldnt change me... and i brought up being skinny and the things i did to get there as proof that when i was unhappy with something in my life i tend to get all control crazy, and take it out on something else.

so even when i was unhappy i was willing and welcoming change, extreme change to please me and make myself happy.

so i *wouldnt* honestly change me now. not one bit, and im far from perfect. i was far from perfect then. i dont want or need perfect, as to me thats not real.

also... if i offended anyone i apoologize. i didnt mean to. i have lots of skinny and thinner friends who wish upon stars they could have my weight. so i can see how its a double edged sword really.

i think just as long as your happy with who you are then who really cares what size you are? thats all i ment. :happy:

my best friends still a size 0, and i am 28-30. she wishes she had my amazing bits, and i am happy and see how she would. i do not wish to be thin, if i wished that i would be thin.clothes still fit different, or not right on her. she hates how her butt is so boney when she sits, shes afraid she might bruise a person.just like clothes never fit me right, unless made for me... and i am afraid my bum might bruise a man with its weight.

not everyone has to go to extremes to lose or gain weight, some people cant.i had to, and chose to. i no longer live that lifestyle.

there might be increased opportunites as a thinner person... but i wouldnt have the amazing friends from here, and myspace, and curvage, and youtube, and other random sites.... or even the real people in my life who have touched me with size acceptance, or visa versa. and to me... thats worth more then anything.


as humans we do judge people by how they look, so its human nature to want things to be better.*whatever your idea of better is, or might be*


----------



## LoveBHMS (Mar 15, 2008)

Amatrix said:


> just a bit more insight....
> 
> well... i liked myself even when i was doing the horrid things to myself to be thinner.if i didnt like myself then i wouldnt have cared as much as i did, and wouldnt have gone to that extreme.
> 
> ...



I don't think it came off as offensive at all, since everyone was just repeating his or her experience. 

This is part of why I said my reaction was stupid. I think it was just a reflexive "Well i'm smaller and that's not how it is." 

I have no doubt if somebody recounted a positive weight loss story that came with negative memories of fat (back when I was heavier, I could not do______, back when I was heavier I got negative reaction from others, etc.) fat people might be hurt or offended like "Well I'm fat and i have a boyfriend" or "I'm fat and it's never held me back at work" or "I've never had trouble getting around at a size _____"


----------



## Still a Skye fan (Mar 15, 2008)

Interesting question and interesting comments from the gals.

I was an average sized kid and i'm average sized now. I've been thinner and I've been heavier, right now, I'm fine with the way I am.

I don't have thick wavy hair, a strong jaw, good teeth, good eyesight or washboard abs and some women still find me appealing.

As long as you're healthy and happy, who cares what your scale says?


Dennis


----------



## goofy girl (Mar 15, 2008)

Still a Skye fan said:


> Interesting question and interesting comments from the gals.
> 
> I was an average sized kid and i'm average sized now. I've been thinner and I've been heavier, right now, I'm fine with the way I am.
> 
> ...



I agree with what you're saying, but it's not just about the number on the scale. Well, for me anyway. Like I mentioned, it's about social settings-for instance, when friends want to meet in a certain spot that I have never been to I have to check it out to make sure I can fit in the seats, buying clothes is really difficult..in the past two years I have gone up and down all the sizes between 18/20 & 32/34..the higher numbers make it VERY hard to find decent, affordable clothing, -it's about the things that come with the numbers on the scale, not the number itself.


----------



## Tooz (Mar 15, 2008)

OverdriveAddict said:


> In case you haven't noticed, a number of people chose the _latter_ option. People have there different opinions and perspectives on this issue. Just because others harbor different feelings on an issue doesn't make them inherently wrong. This is a legitimate topic of discussion, especially on a board like this...



Sir, I am able to read. I bet you didn't know that! I am disregarding everything but the point I am about to address because I am in Rhode Island and SUPER BUSY RITE NOW.

Some people may pick fat, but a bunch of people are whining about how they'd rather be thin. Oh, it's easier, oh, it's BLAH BLAH BLAH.

It's just lame imo.

IMO. Yes, imo.



LoveBHMS said:


> Where I think it comes off a step back is it somewhat feels like an opening for a "Admit it. You say you accept yourself but given the chance, you'd be different...right...?"



This is qft. You are making a lovely point.


----------



## LoveBHMS (Mar 15, 2008)

Tooz said:


> Sir, I am able to read. I bet you didn't know that! I am disregarding everything but the point I am about to address because I am in Rhode Island and SUPER BUSY RITE NOW.
> 
> Some people may pick fat, but a bunch of people are whining about how they'd rather be thin. Oh, it's easier, oh, it's BLAH BLAH BLAH.
> 
> ...



I must spread rep prior to giving it to you again. But trust me....there was rep.


----------



## goofy girl (Mar 15, 2008)

Tooz said:


> Sir, I am able to read. I bet you didn't know that! I am disregarding everything but the point I am about to address because I am in Rhode Island and SUPER BUSY RITE NOW.
> 
> Some people may pick fat, but a bunch of people are whining about how they'd rather be thin. Oh, it's easier, oh, it's BLAH BLAH BLAH.
> 
> ...



I don't think there was any whining, just people answering the question that was asked.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Mar 15, 2008)

olwen said:


> I've always been fat, and I have always wanted to know what being thin would be like. LillyBBW, I wonder if I'd experience the same thing you did. I can say that my friend and I both decided to start exercising. I stuck with it and she opted for WLS. We have both lost weight, but she lost more and I was struck by the subtle ways we began to compete over men, and I realized that if we had both been thin when we met we wouldn't be friends because of that. That realization disturbed me a little...but in choosing thin, there's always the very real possibility that one would gain the weight back.



When I was a teen and was merely thick, size 14/16/18, I recall being afraid to go anyplace by myself. The boys/men were _really_ aggressive where I grew up. Following and cat calling. I was shy and really intimidated. Sometimes they got angry if I didn't respond, I didn't really know how. They would turn nasty believing I was stuck up. I wasn't stuck up, I was scared. I was afraid of men for a long time. 

I wish I could give a sob story about how I turned to food and got fat on purpose, bla bla bla. It would make me a whole lot more interesting but unfortunately getting fat was a product of puberty. I longed to be thin and wear cute fashions like the other girls in my clique but now when I sit and really think about it, I was miserable when I was thin. I don't think I would be happy, it's trading one set of problems for another set that I don't prefer to what I have to deal with now. I think there's the idea that being fat gives us this VIP status when it comes to hardship but that is not necessarily true, the grass is always greener they say. Besides, being fat is now a part of my identity.


----------



## elle camino (Mar 15, 2008)

thin, for the same depressing reasons as everyone else who said thin.


----------



## GWARrior (Mar 15, 2008)

Id kinda like to be a thin, really tall blond man.

so no i guess i havent fully accepted myself.


----------



## Travis (Mar 15, 2008)

I went with fat. I would totally not be used to being skinny plus I think I would look weird being skinny.


----------



## Keb (Mar 15, 2008)

Hm. Does it really show a lack of acceptance to want something different, or even toy with the idea of it? There are times I'd definitely prefer to be a guy, but I still love being a girl 99% of the time. I adore my brown and curly hair, but I think Asian hair is gorgeous. There's positives and negatives to every aspect of whatever we are, and there's no law saying we have to dwell only on one or the other. 

I'd choose thin, like I said, because I think some of the positives would be worth it, but that doesn't mean I hate who I am and always have been. Nor do I think that thin is better for everyone, or would solve all my problems. But it is an interesting question to look at, especially in a community where, contrary to society at large, the answer isn't a given at all.


----------



## NancyGirl74 (Mar 16, 2008)

I wasn't whining about wanting to be thin. I was just being honest. I think the OP asked a very simple yet powerful question. Size Acceptance doesn't have to always be about being 100% a-ok about being fat. Most likely it is a process that involves growing to appreciate one's size and shape. It also doesn't mean we need to wear blinders to certain truths...such as things _*could be*_ different and/or perhaps easier _*if *_we were thinner. If people are fine with their size that's super. However, for those of us who still struggle with self acceptance or just want to know what it's like to not carry around the burden of our weight shouldn't be made to feel ashamed that we feel that way. It's about choices. My choice to be thinner if I could is my own. People don't have to like that I made that choice...but it is still my choice so please don't belittle it.


----------



## OverdriveAddict (Mar 16, 2008)

Tooz said:


> Sir, I am able to read. I bet you didn't know that! I am disregarding everything but the point I am about to address because I am in Rhode Island and SUPER BUSY RITE NOW.
> 
> Some people may pick fat, but a bunch of people are whining about how they'd rather be thin. Oh, it's easier, oh, it's BLAH BLAH BLAH.


First of all, you're completely _disregarding_ (to use your terminology) the fact that you derided the entire thread with your sophomoric summation in "Internet speak," which made your argument standoffish from the get-go.

Secondly, as Goofy Girl has mentioned, people in here aren't whining. Most are explaining their decision to this _purely hypothetical question_ using past experiences as a reference point, whether they were fat or thin. Others are merely speculating what being at a different weight. I can understand that you may think this is a way to sort of a loaded question in terms of cornering people into answering a certain way, but that hasn't been the case. People have eloquently described how accepting, embracing, and loving (with all of their respective definitions) have come into play regarding how he/she views his/her body.

You see it as people whining to be thin, 'because it's easy and blahblahblah.' I'm sorry you can't see past that shallow analysis, there's a lot more to this discussion...IMO


----------



## Chimpi (Mar 16, 2008)

It seems that my size adds some what of an authority stance to my visual persona, and I enjoy that. People generally do not mistreat me; and if there is mistreating, it is not because of my size. I am not sure if I have had a relaxed experience as a fat person or a rather lucky experience. I thoroughly enjoy being part of this community and the "fat world", and also retaining that mindset throughout the rest of my day and the "real world". One of the most admired feelings I have towards certain people is that they just embrace themselves as fat, as AnnMarie has so elegantly addressed. Not only is it refreshing, but it's influential.

On the other hand, I still have the feeling that a lot of people here and out in the "real world" just accept themselves. AnnMarie describes the connotation best, yet again: like accepting your fate, in a negative way. This bothers me on a personal level, even though I know it's not my decision, my choice to make, or anything I can really sway in either direction. This makes me hesitate to accept myself, because I feel as though I'll never be a part of an "embraced world", so to speak. And I realize that I need to change my views and acceptance of myself for myself, but I'm teeter-tottering back and forth. I don't believe that it is unfortunate that other peoples' views about themselves influence my own view of myself, but it's also the way they view me.
Again, I hardly ever experience negative feedback or conversations with other people; never due to my size. So the way peoples' view of me influence me is very complex, and I'm not about to state it here. Not the time nor the place.
I think my experiences of being fat have been better, on a weighing scale of positives and negatives. I think they've been a lot better, actually. But I'm not ready to commit to one side or the other.

/ Reply without answering the question 

*EDIT:* To look back, I'd like to answer some of what butch address (in short). None of my experiences have been bad at restaurants, nor clothing stores, nor public places or meetings, or many other categories that can have negative outcomes for fat people. I'm not sure if that has more to do with me being male or that I just don't give a shit what people say, feel, or view of me (on so many levels). But none of those things have or would sway my answer.


----------



## bmann0413 (Mar 16, 2008)

Y'know I actually thought that being thin was a good thing... but I'd choose fat any day.


----------



## Gspoon (Mar 16, 2008)

I said thin because well, I like being thin, and it works for me.

But, I guess I wouldn't mind being fat. It could be kinda sexy if me and my girlfriend were fat together, but at the end of the day, I am fat and I would prefer to be thin. Also, I wouldn't mind fattening up if my girlfriend was fat and she wanted to be fat together. Why should I be the only one who is allowed to be thin?

Thin for reality. But fantasy, I wouldn't mind being fat.


----------



## butch (Mar 16, 2008)

I think that it is important to note that self acceptance isn't always a completed journey, even for some of us who embrace our fatness.

Of course, I'm only speaking for me, but I wholeheartedly would choose fat, even as I struggle every day with accepting myself as a fat person. It isn't easy, it isn't fun, and in many ways it might not be the best way to live my life, from a mental health standpoint, but I keep on with the struggle because I believe that in order to create a world where fat people can be treated just like thin people, and not singled out for stigma, then I need to not only inhabit a fat body, but I need to love it and value it as if it were a prized possession today, in order to work towards that fatopia future.

I want to be clear that I'm only speaking for me, and about my choices, and I'm not making any claims about how anyone else should believe about their body and their fatness. All I will claim is that I've read so many posts here from fat people explaining how getting to know someone like AnnMarie did wonders for their self esteem, and helped them learn to love their bodies and to see their inner and outer beauty, and so I do think that any level of self acceptance that full-on fat embracing people can inspire in this community is crucial. I dare say that precious few of us would have healthy self esteem about our fat bodies if it wasn't for people like AnnMarie, and so I'm grateful for her example, even if I can't always measure up. However, in my attempts to achieve total personal fat acceptance, I do derive positive self esteem in the journey.

I hope that I'm clear here that no matter what choice we make about our bodies, and how we view them, that those choices are difficult and hard. I wish no one would have to feel conflicted about their body, how it works, how it looks, how other people view it. I wish we could all make choices about our bodies free from any bias and stigma, but we can't, and that is the world I hope for some day, a world where no concept of 'good' or 'bad' would come into play when a person contemplates their size and whether they would be happier at another size.


----------



## Lastminute.Tom (Mar 16, 2008)

I chose thin, I think it would be a unique oppertunity and it wouldn't change my identity, if I didn't like it, then it'd be alot of fun getting back to my present body, I think it would be weird to be boney though, thankfully my lifestyle would remedy that pretty shortly


----------



## olwen (Mar 16, 2008)

Chimpi said:


> It seems that my size adds some what of an authority stance to my visual persona, and I enjoy that. People generally do not mistreat me; and if there is mistreating, it is not because of my size. I am not sure if I have had a relaxed experience as a fat person or a rather lucky experience. I thoroughly enjoy being part of this community and the "fat world", and also retaining that mindset throughout the rest of my day and the "real world". One of the most admired feelings I have towards certain people is that they just embrace themselves as fat, as AnnMarie has so elegantly addressed. Not only is it refreshing, but it's influential.
> 
> On the other hand, I still have the feeling that a lot of people here and out in the "real world" just accept themselves. AnnMarie describes the connotation best, yet again: like accepting your fate, in a negative way. This bothers me on a personal level, even though I know it's not my decision, my choice to make, or anything I can really sway in either direction. This makes me hesitate to accept myself, because I feel as though I'll never be a part of an "embraced world", so to speak. And I realize that I need to change my views and acceptance of myself for myself, but I'm teeter-tottering back and forth. I don't believe that it is unfortunate that other peoples' views about themselves influence my own view of myself, but it's also the way they view me.
> Again, I hardly ever experience negative feedback or conversations with other people; never due to my size. So the way peoples' view of me influence me is very complex, and I'm not about to state it here. Not the time nor the place.
> ...



It's cause you're a male. I came across an essay written by a fat transgendered person who was born a woman, and appears androgynous because of her size, so sometimes people see her as a woman and sometimes they see her as a man. When people see her as a woman they criticize her weight and make their moral judgments known and wait staff "forget" to give her fries with her burger or give her a diet coke instead of a regular one and when they see her as a man wait staff give him exactly what he asks for and people just don't say anything about his weight. (forgive my use of pronouns, but I'm trying to relate this essay). But she says that also that no matter what sex people see, they always see her fat first and her gender second. I relate this story as just something to consider.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. While being fat isn't always easy for either sex, the bottom line is that it is more acceptable for men to be fat than it is for women to be fat. Men do not have to deal with gender bias and women do.

That being said, Chimpi, I can say without bitterness - seriously - that I'm glad that your experiences haven't been very negative. You are one of the lucky few.


----------



## Suze (Mar 16, 2008)

I suddenly realized it probably wasn't such a quick question after all. Its interesting reading all the different replies. Thanks guys.
I made this thread because I feel there is a lot of diversity here. Plus...After hearing about the humiliation, health problems etc. many fat people faces, it makes me kinda depressed _being _fat. At the same time I've become much more comfortable in my own skin after joining here. I have no desire to be a skinny bitch. 

btw This was not meant as a "let's worship the conveniences of being thin" thread.


----------



## Paquito (Mar 16, 2008)

Personally, its Fat one hundred percent. I feel so much better being fat than when I was thin, it just feels _right_, ya know? Kinda like what I was meant to be, so natural. Plus, why would I wanna give up this ass?


----------



## LoveBHMS (Mar 17, 2008)

susieQ said:


> I suddenly realized it probably wasn't such a quick question after all. Its interesting reading all the different replies. Thanks guys.
> I made this thread because I feel there is a lot of diversity here. Plus...After hearing about the humiliation, health problems etc. many fat people faces, it makes me kinda depressed _being _fat. At the same time I've become much more comfortable in my own skin after joining here. I have no desire to be a skinny bitch.
> 
> btw This was not meant as a "let's worship the conveniences of being thin" thread.



Feel free to quit using the term "skinny bitch" any time you want. Even if you toss in a cute emoticon, it still promotes the idea that there is some personality trait or character flaw attached to size.

Also, since people were invited to say why they'd choose one size or another, it was inevitable to mention the conveniences of being thin. I don't think anyone worshipped them, but they were certainly discussed.


----------



## ravfa (Mar 17, 2008)

Tooz said:


> Are you serious?
> This thread is ridiculous.
> ~*hai gaiz, lez post about dreamin of bein thin on a bord wher da idea iz 2 b ok w/ur fat self*~
> 
> It's just basically lookin' like a setback in a way-- a place for everyong to bitch and moan about how being thin is ultimately better.



I wouldn't put it quite as stridently as Ms. Tooz, and no offence to the OP. . .it's an interesting question to throw out there. . .but I have to admit I still find it rather depressing how many people would go for the "magic pill" to be thin, even here.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Mar 17, 2008)

LoveBHMS said:


> It's happened again. And honestly, I have nothing against people liking or not liking their size; I don't think it's possible to prod people into liking or accepting something they don't like. I also see nothing wrong with wanting to be a different size or taking steps to make it happen.
> 
> Where I think it comes off a step back is it somewhat feels like an opening for a "Admit it. You say you accept yourself but given the chance, you'd be different...right...?"
> 
> And as an average sized person, I've actually found myself getting hurt/angry by some of the comments regarding negative experiences of being smaller. Now obviously my hurt/anger is not relevent---these are peoples' experiences and they are what they are. They can't be qualified nor should they be. *But even though each poster said "This happened with me" I could not help but think "Well, that's not true of all smaller people."*



This is very true! My experience was simply that and if it came off as if I was poo pooing thinness as a whole please accept my apologies - it wasn't meant that way at all. I had a terrible experience given the environment I was in but I did not hate my body despite it's inability to do certain things I would have like to. I loved my body at every stage, it's just that I feel more myself in this one if that makes any sense. 

When someone disparages the way their body looks though, using descriptives that are too close for comfort it is disturbing. I hope I haven't done that with my comments, but like you and Tooz I also feel this thread promotes more nagativity than anything positive.


----------



## AnnMarie (Mar 17, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> ...I also feel this thread promotes more nagativity than anything positive.



I still don't think so. I think if I was working on acceptance and read some of the people here who've replied they're choosing to stay fat, and perhaps some reasons why (or like me, as I stated here) I think it would show me there are other ways to think. 

If someone had asked me the question many years ago, I would have a very different answer. Sometimes just knowing that others can feel a certain way helped me to see that it was possible, that maybe there are a few other ways to think - not that anyone needs to or it's wrong to feel however you do now, but just the idea that there is even another step beyond. 

I don't know, I just think there is some positive message here and I think people are just focusing on what they see as negativity.


----------



## goofy girl (Mar 17, 2008)

LoveBHMS said:


> Feel free to quit using the term "skinny bitch" any time you want. Even if you toss in a cute emoticon, it still promotes the idea that there is some personality trait or character flaw attached to size.
> 
> Also, since people were invited to say why they'd choose one size or another, it was inevitable to mention the conveniences of being thin. I don't think anyone worshipped them, but they were certainly discussed.



Yeah! Well..except I hate 'skinny bitch'..but I agree with everything else 

I think that the conveniences of being thin-for me- is the only reason I'd pick thin. I honestly don't care one way or the other, I'm still me regardless of what the vehicle that carries me looks like.


----------



## Paquito (Mar 17, 2008)

LoveBHMS said:


> Feel free to quit using the term "skinny bitch" any time you want. Even if you toss in a cute emoticon, it still promotes the idea that there is some personality trait or character flaw attached to size.
> 
> Also, since people were invited to say why they'd choose one size or another, it was inevitable to mention the conveniences of being thin. I don't think anyone worshipped them, but they were certainly discussed.



come now, must we pick apart every little comment everyone makes?


----------



## LoveBHMS (Mar 17, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> This is very true! My experience was simply that and if it came off as if I was poo pooing thinness as a whole please accept my apologies - it wasn't meant that way at all. I had a terrible experience given the environment I was in but I did not hate my body despite it's inability to do certain things I would have like to. I loved my body at every stage, it's just that I feel more myself in this one if that makes any sense.
> 
> When someone disparages the way their body looks though, using descriptives that are too close for comfort it is disturbing. I hope I haven't done that with my comments, but like you and Tooz I also feel this thread promotes more nagativity than anything positive.



No apologies necessary. As I said, I totally realized that each post was just reflecting that individual's experience. I just found that I must have felt the way some fat women do when they read about negative experiences with being fat, i.e. to compare somebody else's experience with their own and say "Well THAT is not MY life...."

As an average sized FFA, sometimes I really do wonder if smaller women are seen in a different light.


----------



## LoveBHMS (Mar 17, 2008)

free2beme04 said:


> come now, must we pick apart every little comment everyone makes?



Oh I'm sorry....I guess I'm hypersensitive having the word "bitch" attached to me.


----------



## Paquito (Mar 17, 2008)

LoveBHMS said:


> Oh I'm sorry....I guess I'm hypersensitive having the word "bitch" attached to me.



Ok, I don't want to start some big fight on this thread, would hate to deter from the interesting topic, but she said skinny bitch, not you speciffically. I don't recall her saying LoveBHMS bitch.
That being said, skinny bitch was definelty not an appropriate choice of words.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Mar 17, 2008)

AnnMarie said:


> I still don't think so. I think if I was working on acceptance and read some of the people here who've replied they're choosing to stay fat, and perhaps some reasons why (or like me, as I stated here) I think it would show me there are other ways to think.
> 
> If someone had asked me the question many years ago, I would have a very different answer. Sometimes just knowing that others can feel a certain way helped me to see that it was possible, that maybe there are a few other ways to think - not that anyone needs to or it's wrong to feel however you do now, but just the idea that there is even another step beyond.
> 
> I don't know, I just think there is some positive message here and I think people are just focusing on what they see as negativity.



We'll have to agree to disagree I guess. If someone is miserable being thin I don't think that will change just because a bunch of people cheer and say it's great for them. However it sure does impart a certain something to see that for a small majority acceptance is merely assumed because the alternative is out of reach. I hereby unsubscribe and will assume the fetal position of dispair by myself.


----------



## Paquito (Mar 17, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> However it sure does impart a certain something to see that for a small majority acceptance is merely assumed because the alternative is out of reach. I hereby unsubscribe and will assume the fetal position of dispair by myself.



Any room in that fetal position of despair for two?


----------



## GWARrior (Mar 17, 2008)

im not sure i understand the difference between a fat person wanting to be thin and a thin person wanting to be fat. but im sure the reactions on this board would be quite different.

size acceptance? tah!


----------



## Jane (Mar 18, 2008)

I find it hilarious that if someone chooses "I'd be thin" they are all of a sudden "unaccepting" of their current body.

Nope. I accept me. I think lots of others accept themselves. I would not worship my body were it skinny or fat. I just see it as a vessel I walk around in. 

No one said they wanted to be "skinny." There is a difference, you know.


----------



## Falling Boy (Mar 18, 2008)

I was always thin growing up and in my early 20's had that nice semi-muscular guys bod. Then after marriage and some medical problems I am now finding myself around 200 and 5ft 8in. I swear everytime I see someone from the past they have that OMG look how fat he got look on there face and it makes me want to hide. And I know I shouldn't feel that way. My wife is not a small woman herself still outweighs me but even with her I sometimes feel like she would like that hot guy that she married back. So to make your quick question way to long I would pick thin I love my women big but myself I would prefer thin. Just me though all you big guys go for it dudes live it up you rock just as hard as everyone else.


----------



## Theresa48 (Mar 18, 2008)

Jane said:


> I find it hilarious that if someone chooses "I'd be thin" they are all of a sudden "unaccepting" of their current body.
> 
> Nope. I accept me. I think lots of others accept themselves. I would not worship my body were it skinny or fat. I just see it as a vessel I walk around in.
> 
> No one said they wanted to be "skinny." There is a difference, you know.



Hear, hear! Well written. I am in total agreement. 

Wanting to change something about yourself doesn't mean that you don't accept who you are or what you look like. It could simply mean you want or need that change simply because you are bored, or more significantly because you have health concerns (and all the possibilities in between.) Accepting yourself (I see that acceptance inclusive of accepting your body as it is) means allowing for change and making necessary adjustments as you go along, IMO.


----------



## Miss Vickie (Mar 18, 2008)

Risible said:


> I'm fat now and I've been ... thinner.  Never thin.
> 
> I picked thin. Physically, it is so much easier - and less painful, as my body ages - to be thinner.
> 
> Emotionally, mentally, socially - I've had a good life so far being fat (except through grades K-12; things got rough in those years); I wouldn't trade it.



Same here. I picked thin for the same reasons you did, purely for physical ones. And while I'm thinner now than I have ever been, I don't think anyone would call me "thin" and never "skinny", except as a joke. I did fine at a larger weight for a long time, but as I *cough cough* aged, it got harder and harder. My mom, OTOH? Was able to be active and healthy and run around like a crazy woman and she was over 400 pounds. Go figure. 



butch said:


> For those of you who chose 'thin,' how many of you would not chose thin if we lived in a world that actually was constructed with fat people in mind? If seating wasn't an issue, if you could have the same clothing options that thin people have (in terms of stylishness and availability), and most people thought being fat was no different than being tall or having red hair or whatever, as a few examples?



While it has been easier for me to fit into seats, which is a bizarre feeling, I don't think I'd choose "thin" just for that reason alone. For me it was just about the physicality of being fat and how hard it was for me to get around. 



Friday said:


> I chose thin. But my thin, not societies.



Same here. I'm my version of "thin" which is still considered obese by the BMI tables (big whoop ) but I'm the thinnest I've ever been and it's a good weight for me. 



LoveBHMS said:


> I have no doubt if somebody recounted a positive weight loss story that came with negative memories of fat (back when I was heavier, I could not do______, back when I was heavier I got negative reaction from others, etc.) fat people might be hurt or offended like "Well I'm fat and i have a boyfriend" or "I'm fat and it's never held me back at work" or "I've never had trouble getting around at a size _____"



Oh yeah. That's why I try to be careful in how I phrase things. I know lots of women who are nice and fat and juicy and able to be healthy and move and have the life they want. Good for them and I wish I was one of them. For me, while being fat didn't prevent me from having good relationships and stuff, it did affect my job performance. I was physically in pain a lot of the time and so... yeah... I decided to lose weight. It sounds silly and simplistic but pain sucks, and given my family history I had a very good chance of getting just as sick as my brothers who, while supposedly in the "prime" of life are debilitated from obesity-related diseases.



Keb said:


> Hm. Does it really show a lack of acceptance to want something different, or even toy with the idea of it? There are times I'd definitely prefer to be a guy, but I still love being a girl 99% of the time.



You ask a good question, and offer a good comparison. Acknowledging that life would be easier if we were thinner, taller, a different gender, or even a different ethnicity doesn't mean that we don't accept ourselves the way we are. It's just an acknowledgment of reality (our own reality, anyway, since often what we perceive as "easier" isn't always the case).



NancyGirl74 said:


> I wasn't whining about wanting to be thin. I was just being honest. I think the OP asked a very simple yet powerful question. Size Acceptance doesn't have to always be about being 100% a-ok about being fat. Most likely it is a process that involves growing to appreciate one's size and shape. It also doesn't mean we need to wear blinders to certain truths...such as things _*could be*_ different and/or perhaps easier _*if *_we were thinner. If people are fine with their size that's super. However, for those of us who still struggle with self acceptance or just want to know what it's like to not carry around the burden of our weight shouldn't be made to feel ashamed that we feel that way. It's about choices. My choice to be thinner if I could is my own. People don't have to like that I made that choice...but it is still my choice so please don't belittle it.



Yup. What you said. And I think in order for us to truly accept each other, we shouldn't belittle each other's feelings or choices. Nobody knows what it's like to live in our bodies except us.


----------



## JerseyGirl07093 (Mar 18, 2008)

Miss Vickie said:


> And I think in order for us to truly accept each other, we shouldn't belittle each other's feelings or choices. Nobody knows what it's like to live in our bodies except us.



Amen! Well said!


----------



## elle camino (Mar 19, 2008)

to put it very simply: two of my greatest joys in life are cute clothes, and makeouts with boys. and there's little question (from where i'm sitting) that i'd have a way, WAY easier time acquiring both of those things, if i weren't fat. 

this does not mean i hate my body. 
nor does it mean i think being thin is some magical condition that solves all of a person's problems completely. 

i'm JUST saying: clothes and boys. i care about these things. i'd like more of both. being thin would help with that. the end.


----------



## ripley (Mar 19, 2008)

elle camino said:


> to put it very simply: two of my greatest joys in life are cute clothes, and makeouts with boys. and there's little question (from where i'm sitting) that i'd have a way, WAY easier time acquiring both of those things, if i weren't fat.
> 
> this does not mean i hate my body.
> nor does it mean i think being thin is some magical condition that solves all of a person's problems completely.
> ...





Yup. that about sums it up.


----------



## Ample Pie (Mar 19, 2008)

I chose fat. Like others have echoed I'd really and truly strive to be happy whatever my shape, size, or ....you name it. This is why I chose fat--I'm quite content as I am


----------



## SocialbFly (Mar 19, 2008)

not a fair question, there is NO black and white answer to this question.


----------



## Suze (Mar 19, 2008)

LoveBHMS said:


> Feel free to quit using the term "skinny bitch" any time you want. Even if you toss in a cute emoticon, it still promotes the idea that there is some personality trait or character flaw attached to size.
> 
> Also, since people were invited to say why they'd choose one size or another, it was inevitable to mention the conveniences of being thin. I don't think anyone worshipped them, but they were certainly discussed.



1. I hate that term too. It was just a lil' irony. 

2. Sure, I was just responding to people who seemed pissed off about the subject. It's an open question, take it anyway you want. 

Feel free to quit taking stuff in the most offending way as possible.


----------



## Suze (Mar 19, 2008)

SocialbFly said:


> not a fair question, there is NO black and white answer to this question.



You're right. It's not supposed to be reasonable!!


----------



## ashmamma84 (Mar 19, 2008)

elle camino said:


> to put it very simply: two of my greatest joys in life are cute clothes, and makeouts with boys. and there's little question (from where i'm sitting) that i'd have a way, WAY easier time acquiring both of those things, if i weren't fat.
> 
> this does not mean i hate my body.
> nor does it mean i think being thin is some magical condition that solves all of a person's problems completely.
> ...



Even though I would choose to stay fat -- I can totally understand where you are coming from as one of my joys is cute clothes too. Would be nice to be able to shop in 99% of the stores in malls...


----------



## Jes (Mar 19, 2008)

elle camino said:


> to put it very simply: two of my greatest joys in life are cute clothes, and makeouts with boys. and there's little question (from where i'm sitting) that i'd have a way, WAY easier time acquiring both of those things, if i weren't fat.
> 
> this does not mean i hate my body.
> nor does it mean i think being thin is some magical condition that solves all of a person's problems completely.
> ...



word up, cameo. You make good points.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing (Mar 19, 2008)

I can see both sides of the argument here. I don't think the OP meant any harm by asking the question although I can see why some people were a bit upset by it, but oh well, I mean, do we really want this site to be all rainbows and cupcakes and happy happy jolly gumdrop with no conflict whatsoever???(well, of course there is Hyde Park, but that doesn't count)

I think a lot of people on here have come to accept themselves and even love what they are, but I can imagine why they'd want to see what it was like from the other side. Just talking to my friends who are fat, they say it'd be much easier in some situations to just be thin. Girlfriends I've had were always going on about the lack of cute clothes and cute boys .. well, not so much the last one, what with me existing and all .. or not so much.  Either way I'm not going to hold it against some one for wanting to be thin, since lets face it, society is just so much more cool with that and willing to embrace people on the thin side. In nearly every aspect really.

Oh and another downside to being thin is that you probably would never of showed up here to be graced by the presence of all the wonderful men and women who are on this site.  know what I'm sayin'


----------



## Tooz (Mar 19, 2008)

To me, there is an inherent problem when a minority of any sort desires to change themselves rather than the society they exist in. Nothing ever changes that way.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing (Mar 19, 2008)

Tooz said:


> To me, there is an inherent problem when a minority of any sort desires to change themselves rather than the society they exist in. Nothing ever changes that way.



I can agree with this, but of course, it is easier said then done. Fat bashing does seem to be the #1 most acceptance form of bigotry nowadays and it'd be nice to get a little leeway in that regard and I can see how sometimes it would get so frustrating that you'd want to see how it was from the other end of the spectrum.


----------



## elle camino (Mar 19, 2008)

Tooz said:


> To me, there is an inherent problem when a minority of any sort desires to change themselves rather than the society they exist in. Nothing ever changes that way.


i agree completely, in theory. however in practice, after almost 30 years of fatness i've realized that: 
1. sewing my own clothes is the only way i'm going to have any kind of impact on what kind of clothes are made for women my size, and i did that for like 10 years before i concluded that i'm not much of a seamstress, and even less-than-ideally-cute storebought clothes look way better than badly-constructed homemade ones. 

2. aint nothing ANYone can do to change what other people are attracted to. i mean _I_ wouldn't want another person telling _me_ to change or deny what i'm into or what i'm not into, when it comes to boys. best to just let the chips fall where they may. 
it's a bummer they don't really land favorably for a young single fat girl, but meh. can't argue with reality.


----------



## ripley (Mar 19, 2008)

Tooz said:


> To me, there is an inherent problem when a minority of any sort desires to change themselves rather than the society they exist in. Nothing ever changes that way.





Aren't fat people the majority now?


----------



## snuggletiger (Mar 19, 2008)

I wouldn't mind being heavier, at least I wouldn't look like I would blow away in a windstorm.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Mar 19, 2008)

I hear my family bitch and moan about how 'such and such' would't happen to them if they were white or 'so and so' wouldn't treat them this way at work if they were white. There's this perception that if they were white, the response they recieved in some odd place would have been different and sometimes it's actually true. However, if a survey showed that 55% of people of African Americans would prefer to be white it would effect me the same. The idea that someday we can overcome has taken a sharp nosedive.


----------



## Ernest Nagel (Mar 19, 2008)

I find this entire essay by Rick Garlikov, Fighting for the Higher Self, _generally_ elucidating in regard to the OP's question. I imagine the final paragraph will be more than sufficient for most, though?

http://www.garlikov.com/higherself.html

"It is perhaps fear of being considered different or odd, of not fitting in, of not meeting the expectations of others, that keeps people from being honest with themselves and with others, unable to notice, analyze, or express things that do not seem consistent with what they feel they are supposed to perceive or believe, and which impedes the pursuit of higher, more genuine, more important values. The irony, of course, is that in many cases, the fear of being open and genuine, while seeming to help us fit in socially with others, actually psychologically and emotionally isolates us from them and keeps us apart by making us behave so impersonally. It may seem the safest way to go, but it makes us miss so much from each other, and from what the world has to offer. And when we, and teachers, behave that same way around children, we tend to socialize their generation into the same pattern of alienation and isolation. It is a vicious spiral that takes awareness, insight, and a bit of luck to recognize in its specific individual manifestations; and social courage, to try to remedy."


----------



## Jane (Mar 19, 2008)

Ernest Nagel said:


> I find this entire essay by Rick Garlikov, Fighting for the Higher Self, _generally_ elucidating in regard to the OP's question. I imagine the final paragraph will be more than sufficient for most, though?
> 
> http://www.garlikov.com/higherself.html
> 
> "It is perhaps fear of being considered different or odd, of not fitting in, of not meeting the expectations of others, that keeps people from being honest with themselves and with others, unable to notice, analyze, or express things that do not seem consistent with what they feel they are supposed to perceive or believe, and which impedes the pursuit of higher, more genuine, more important values. The irony, of course, is that in many cases, the fear of being open and genuine, while seeming to help us fit in socially with others, actually psychologically and emotionally isolates us from them and keeps us apart by making us behave so impersonally. It may seem the safest way to go, but it makes us miss so much from each other, and from what the world has to offer. And when we, and teachers, behave that same way around children, we tend to socialize their generation into the same pattern of alienation and isolation. It is a vicious spiral that takes awareness, insight, and a bit of luck to recognize in its specific individual manifestations; and social courage, to try to remedy."



Translation:

Fucking be yourself. Don't pass your hangups on to others.

(I've never seen as many long sentences in one place in my life.)


----------



## wistful (Mar 20, 2008)

SocialbFly said:


> not a fair question, there is NO black and white answer to this question.



I have to agree with SocialBFly.What's missing here is an option somewhere in the middle.I have a feeling that many of us,myself included, would choose an option that would allow us to be smaller than we currently are yet we wouldn't chose to be thin. 

Except for brief fleeting moments I long ago gave up any desire to be thin.I simply don't have the genetics for it and I've made my peace with the fact that I will always be fat to one degree or another.For both better and worse,being fat has shaped my personality and I can't imagine a "me" that isn't at least somewhat fat.I also might add that on a more shallow level I genuinely prefer a fleshier female form so I would gladly stay fat the rest of my life.

However while I'm just fine with being fat for the rest of my life,would I prefer to be a "smaller" fat person? Absolutely.I've been many different sizes over my life so I know what it's like to be a smaller big person and I have to say that I found life much easier then.

Don't get me wrong,I know full well that even though I'm supersized that I'm just as deserving of all of life's riches as any smaller person is.I'm certainly not about to let the fact that I weigh in the 390s stop me from doing what I need to in life *but* being supersized can sometimes be damned hard.Both physically and emotionally.Sometimes I just want an easier life(who doesn't??) and it is for this reason that I would choose to be smaller though nowhere near thin.So for me the answer lies in between both of the choices you presented and I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling this way.


----------



## Ernest Nagel (Mar 20, 2008)

Jane said:


> Translation:
> 
> Fucking be yourself. Don't pass your hangups on to others.
> 
> (*I've never seen as many long sentences in one place in my life.*)



Are you implying bigger isn't always better?!? Them thar's fightin' words, Okie! Just to be fair I'll let you start on top.


----------



## Jane (Mar 20, 2008)

Ernest Nagel said:


> Are you implying bigger isn't always better?!? Them thar's fightin' words, Okie! Just to be fair I'll let you start on top.



No, Ernest, I'm simply stating that run-on sentences, while entertaining, can make the total understanding of the writer's point, which could be quite poignant and relevant to the matter at hand, lost in the baffling bullshit of words, though that may or may not have been the writer's intent at the time or later depending on at what point they made their statement meaningless through excessive use of words when a simple statement would have allowed the reader to grasp the essence of the argument.

Verbosity does not automatically equal eloquence. This is the reason college instructors who order X number of words on a subject are fools.

That's all.


----------



## Ernest Nagel (Mar 20, 2008)

Jane said:


> No, Ernest, I'm simply stating that run-on sentences, while entertaining, can make the total understanding of the writer's point, which could be quite poignant and relevant to the matter at hand, lost in the baffling bullshit of words, though that may or may not have been the writer's intent at the time or later depending on at what point they made their statement meaningless through excessive use of words when a simple statement would have allowed the reader to grasp the essence of the argument.
> 
> Verbosity does not automatically equal eloquence. This is the reason college instructors who order X number of words on a subject are fools.
> 
> That's all.



Point taken. Nicely made, too, btw. :bow:


----------



## heatherpotter (Mar 21, 2008)

Thin, all the way. I've lost 140 pounds in the last year, and the difference it has made to my life has been immense. I have so much more energy, and I can actually climb stairs without feeling like I'm going to pass out.


----------



## Kajun Kat (Mar 21, 2008)

I don't mind being a big woman, I hate being unhealthy. I have a son I love very much and it's hard to keep up with him sometimes. I want to be fat and healthy if that makes sense LOL


----------

