# For a BBW to find a BHM...



## sweetjul (Feb 14, 2006)

Maybe its there in one of the other threads, but where would us older girls find all these BHM's that I know have gotta be out there!?:smitten:


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## BLUEeyedBanshee (Feb 14, 2006)

I'd like to know that too...

I mean I know I can lurk around campus or the comic book store or other places where I like to go watching...but seriously where?

Also, how many guys are intimidated by aggressive women? 

Being that I'm such a tiger...I like to know these things.


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## missaf (Feb 14, 2006)

Try looking at Best Buy, lotsa fat men hang out or work there  

I've even been hit on several times by BHMs, both customers and workers at Best Buy


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## EvilBob (Feb 14, 2006)

BLUEeyedBanshee said:


> How many guys are intimidated by aggressive women? Being that I'm such a tiger...I like to know these things.



I have been asked by several women on this board how to keep from being intimidating. My advice is this:

If the man is intimidated, move on.

To be honest, most big men have some issues with their appearance. I mean society can be pretty brutal on a big guy too. It can turn _some _men into guys who easily freak out if a woman is forward or seems confident. These men are going to be riddled with issues for the long-term, so unless you have the desire to spend a lot of time rebuilding him, it may be best to keep looking. Even if you do, you can rarely rebuild someone into something better... it always seems to work out for the worse.

So, for you strong-willed women out there, I say, "Keep looking." 

I for one had always dreamed of meeting an aggressive women -- or at least a woman who wanted me and wasn't shy about letting me know. Until very recently, I had never enjoyed the experience. From my perspective, it is the most wonderful experience... truly.

So, don't change how you act... change who you share it with. When you find the right guy, he will not only be unafraid... he may thrive.

Best,
EB


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## William (Feb 14, 2006)

Casual Male

Especially the one in Milford, CT which is next door to a Quiznos  

William



missaf said:


> Try looking at Best Buy, lotsa fat men hang out or work there
> 
> I've even been hit on several times by BHMs, both customers and workers at Best Buy


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## Jes (Feb 14, 2006)

EvilBob said:


> I have been asked by several women on this board how to keep from being intimidating. My advice is this:
> 
> If the man is intimidated, move on.
> 
> ...




SOMEONE is a SMITTEN KITTEN.


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## missaf (Feb 14, 2006)

I don't mind being agressive, but not all the time. I have a girly side to this tomboy exterior, that loves to be cuddled and snuggled.


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## Ryan (Feb 15, 2006)

I would imagine that BHM's would be found in most of the same places that any guy would be found. Stores, sporting events, places of employment, concerts, movies, etc.

I can be found in book stores, at car and motorcycle races, at movies, at concerts, at my desk at work...all sorts of places. I'm not a BHM, though, but I see a lot of big guys when I'm out and about.

Regarding agressive women; I don't mind.


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## Fat Gary NYC (Feb 15, 2006)

Depends on what you mean by "aggressive." A well-meaning, honest compliment might be unintentionally interpreted as "aggressive," depending on the point of view/mindset of the guy.

It's easy for me to sit behind the safety of my computer and say that I wouldn't mind being approached by a woman who made the first move. In reality, I fear I'd freeze up, I probably wouldn't believe she was serious... I don't know.


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## missaf (Feb 15, 2006)

Fat Gary NYC said:


> Depends on what you mean by "aggressive." A well-meaning, honest compliment might be unintentionally interpreted as "aggressive," depending on the point of view/mindset of the guy.
> 
> It's easy for me to sit behind the safety of my computer and say that I wouldn't mind being approached by a woman who made the first move. In reality, I fear I'd freeze up, I probably wouldn't believe she was serious... I don't know.



Oh I'm quite free with honest compliments, that's not agressive to me. Agressive is more first-move, always on the move, spur on the action while the other person is along for the ride. I think it's more of a two way street.


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## noob (Feb 15, 2006)

I'm not a BHM, but I don't mind women that make the first move, in fact, that's almost _always_ the case with me. I like 'em and I'm comfortable around 'em but I guess part of me doesn't want to risk striking out, so I wait for them...


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## Jackoblangada (Feb 15, 2006)

William said:


> Casual Male
> 
> Especially the one in Milford, CT which is next door to a Quiznos
> 
> William



Holy crap I bought shirt there once..how random.

As for whether you should be aggressive...Be Aggressive!!!! We like that.
For those of us fat guys who have always been fat we are not so good at being the predator lol
We have spent the bulk of our lives being unnatractive to most woman so therefore generally the 'safe guy'. Fathers loved when i picked up their daughters for school dances cuz they new she wouldn't sleep with me.
The girls liked it cuz i was their "friend"
I went to 11 proms and school dances in 3 years of high school. Only 2 as dates lol. 
So..my first thought is she is looking for a safe friend. That was a long rambling answer lol sorry.


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## Make_Lunch_Not_War (Feb 15, 2006)

sweetjul said:


> Maybe its there in one of the other threads, but where would us older girls find all these BHM's that I know have gotta be out there!?:smitten:




Speaking as a BHM, the most obvious place to meet a big guy is in a clothing store that caters to obese men.

Approaching a BHM without intimidating him, however, might be a bit difficult because we are not used to women coming onto us. For myself and other large guys that I know, probably the best way for a FFA to approach us is to make up some sort of an excuse for our help such as asking us for the time, directions or something along those lines. What man out there -no matter what his size- can resist offering assistance to a woman who needs our help?

Chivalry is not dead!


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## William (Feb 15, 2006)

Hey 

I also think that it cute that some BBWs buy Tees and stuff Casual Male

William




Jackoblangada said:


> Holy crap I bought shirt there once..how random.
> 
> As for whether you should be aggressive...Be Aggressive!!!! We like that.
> For those of us fat guys who have always been fat we are not so good at being the predator lol
> ...


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## plumpmygut (Feb 15, 2006)

I'm a BHM:eat1: looking to meet someone. Send me a message sometime. I have a post on Dimensions matching system. Give me a shout sometime!:smitten:


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## missaf (Feb 15, 2006)

William said:


> Hey
> 
> I also think that it cute that some BBWs buy Tees and stuff Casual Male
> 
> William



The VERY BEST nightshirt I have ever bought is a size 7X. It's so soft and roomie and comfortable!


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## Tommy (Feb 16, 2006)

I was just wondering ....If I am definitely in the BHM catagory ..... I'm about 5' 8" and have FILLED OUT about 230 lbs now ( SO FAR ).


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## sweetjul (Feb 16, 2006)

Thanks, Kenn, good to know. I'll just pretend I'm buying a shirt for my dad, yeah, and ask the guy if he thinks its a nice one. lol And Jack, I've been there, and my dad would have had to worry if I'd been your date! Thanks for all the advice people, but I think I'm just in the wrong state!


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## Tad (Feb 16, 2006)

Tommy said:


> I was just wondering ....If I am definitely in the BHM catagory ..... I'm about 5' 8" and have FILLED OUT about 230 lbs now ( SO FAR ).



Tommy, I'm 5'8" and around 215, and consider myself borderline BHM. Now I'm a white collar desk worker who does some biking and walking, but am not particularly muscular, so depending on how strong you are you might not be much fatter than I am, or you may be. So at a guess I'd say you can call yourself a BHM if you want to 

-Ed


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## Make_Lunch_Not_War (Feb 17, 2006)

sweetjul said:


> Thanks for all the advice people, but I think I'm just in the wrong state!




The only state you need to be in is the state of Confidence. 

Seriously, try placing a personal ad that goes something like this; "Woman who loves to cook looking for man who loves to eat." See what type of response to get


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## PolarKat (Feb 17, 2006)

Where to find big fellows, and easy excuses to talk to them...

Scifi & Comic & Anime festivals, if you actually dress up (One of those 60's trek uniforms.. or Pick your favorite anime gal) you'll get numbers, if you can actually hold a conversation about the material.. You might even walk away with a few proposals.

Arcades & Pool halls.. stock full of large fellows on friday & saturday nights, catch them at the pool table/multiplayer machine and challenge them to a game, don't know how to play.. even better.. ask them to show you.

Bike shows, not the one's with pedals.. where burning a honda is an event. Just wear some leather, and whistle at the larger guys that don't have a women on the back of their bike... actually just whistle at the guys.. it's one place where thin is a minority.. and don't worry, bikers are weenies, most of the are actually some form of engineer playing cool..

Watering holes.. Pubs.. where there's beer, and some dance clubs (they're the one's always sitting alone drinking)..just the the old a tried "Hi, can I buy you drink.. come here often".. Don't ask them to dance, the majority won't.. unless they've drank enough.

Dog parks.. Plenty of excuses to spark up a converation, and you'll see them often.

The easist place.. In front of their computer... Pick your online game and start chatting.


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## sweetjul (Feb 17, 2006)

Working on the confidence thing, Kenn.  But that ad idea is brilliant!!


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## sweetjul (Feb 17, 2006)

Thanks Polarkat! This is awesome for us girls, getting advice straight from the guys themselves.


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## BigChaz (Feb 18, 2006)

Move to Orlando and try your luck on me. I promise I wont run away. It seems like the aggressive women on these sites always live really far away from me. 

I am not shy or anything, but I just have horrible "game" or whatever they call it.


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## coyote wild (Feb 18, 2006)

I'm based in Georgia.

where can you find me? mostly at home (i dont like to get out much)

but im sure if you hung out around the dunwoody campus of the art institute of atlanta you'd run into me sooner or later heheh.

quite a few bhm at my school. not enough bbw.

my other haunts include AMC Colonial 18 in Lawrenceville and Odin's Comics in Lilburn.

oh and im sure the best way to meet a BHM is to be the one to initiate conversation. the only time my self-esteem is up about my appearance is here, and in the real world im very reluctant to show my face. but if a nice woman came up and started talking to me? fuhgettaboudit.

however, i am taken. but my better half encourages me to flirt so...(she thinks im too shy, which i am)


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## Qit el-Remel (Feb 18, 2006)

PolarKat said:


> Where to find big fellows, and easy excuses to talk to them...
> 
> Scifi & Comic & Anime festivals, if you actually dress up (One of those 60's trek uniforms.. or Pick your favorite anime gal) you'll get numbers, if you can actually hold a conversation about the material.. You might even walk away with a few proposals.


I'm at a gaming con right now. I've seen a total of _four_ attractive fat guys...one of whom is married and another of whom (I know from experience) is a putz. Admittedly, it's only the first day of the con...but I'd just like to say that YMMV.

-Qit


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## PolarKat (Feb 18, 2006)

Qit el-Remel said:


> I'm at a gaming con right now. I've seen a total of _four_ attractive fat guys...one of whom is married and another of whom (I know from experience) is a putz. Admittedly, it's only the first day of the con...but I'd just like to say that YMMV.
> -Qit



The influx of normals has scared off the natives:shocked: It's not such a good hotspot for larger pale geeks anymore, left it out of the convention part for that reason. I was even debating on putting the Anime & Manga in the list, since over the last few years the main east coast conventions have also been getting much younger & thiner, and they just don't get the humor behind "over the hill" power rangers


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## Qit el-Remel (Feb 18, 2006)

PolarKat said:


> The influx of normals has scared off the natives:shocked: It's not such a good hotspot for larger pale geeks anymore, left it out of the convention part for that reason.


And then there are the geeks who just kind of...well, _metamorphose_ into something _less_ geekish over time.

-Qit


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## PolarKat (Feb 18, 2006)

Qit el-Remel said:


> And then there are the geeks who just kind of...well, _metamorphose_ into something _less_ geekish over time.
> 
> -Qit


Hmmm.. Either it's really good humor, or a nice and poignant insult..


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## Obesus (Feb 18, 2006)

So, a few years ago, when I was working in the fiscal department, before my current gig at the clinic part of the Agency...Miss Jeannie (nooooo...not THIS Miss Jeannie...THAT Miss Jeannie...over here in Frisco...the really ultra cute perky-goth lesbian BBW Jeannie!) Says to me out of the blue..."You know, you really are a geek!"....I says..."Hey..how can I be a geek....I was a junkie for seven years; I have a felony on my record...!!??" She just walks off, but then, a few days later she says to me, again, out of the blue: "I didn't really mean that you are a geek...I meant more that you are a freak!" I says....."Much better, now that is more like it! Thank you!" Hence. I am going to concur with the geek to freak possibility. Now that I will soon be 55 years old, we can also add "bleak" to the equation!    (Just kidding..I am on a tremendous artistic perk....although dateless for several years! Wahooooooey!  :shocked: FFAs in the know will attend the SF Magick Meetup Group and if anyone does Call of Cthulhu....you KNOW where to find me...!:doh: )



PolarKat said:


> Hmmm.. Either it's really good humor, or a nice and poignant insult..


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## PolarKat (Feb 19, 2006)

Wasn't clear on the previous post, (posting @ 4:30am kinda does that.. and I'm off doing it again..) It's a positive comment, I was just pointing out how it works nicely on two levels, since it caused me to do a double take while having a good laugh.

"I am on a tremendous artistic perk....although dateless for several years!"  

I was finishing up composing a song the other day, when my friend/guitarist mentioned that it was really good for something done so quickly. I mentioned that being single and the angst & negativity that come with it are great sources of inspiriation for art. He replied, "Bud.. if you were married... and thats the case. You would have completed a 12 movement sympony in 1/2 the time." 



Obesus said:


> So, a few years ago, when I was working in the fiscal department, before my current gig at the clinic part of the Agency...Miss Jeannie (nooooo...not THIS Miss Jeannie...THAT Miss Jeannie...over here in Frisco...the really ultra cute perky-goth lesbian BBW Jeannie!) Says to me out of the blue..."You know, you really are a geek!"....I says..."Hey..how can I be a geek....I was a junkie for seven years; I have a felony on my record...!!??" She just walks off, but then, a few days later she says to me, again, out of the blue: "I didn't really mean that you are a geek...I meant more that you are a freak!" I says....."Much better, now that is more like it! Thank you!" Hence. I am going to concur with the geek to freak possibility. Now that I will soon be 55 years old, we can also add "bleak" to the equation!    (Just kidding..I am on a tremendous artistic perk....although dateless for several years! Wahooooooey!  :shocked: FFAs in the know will attend the SF Magick Meetup Group and if anyone does Call of Cthulhu....you KNOW where to find me...!:doh: )


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## missaf (Feb 19, 2006)

PK that is a wonderful way to look at life and relationships-- our hearts should soar like writing a symphony from the heart when inspired by love :wubu:


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## Obesus (Feb 19, 2006)

...so, the year is 1967...2nd year of High School...the whole bunch of us precocious type kids are shooting an epic 16mm musical...called "The Fellow from Pocatello." It is the touching story of an innocent and slightly challenged young lad from Pocatello, Idaho, complete with the usual accoutrements of the country life, who comes to the big city (Frisco) and falls in love with the World's ugliest chorus girl. He then discovers that he has made a horrible mistake, because she is a harpy as well! We were ahead of our time and marching straight into Quentin Tarantino territory; what else can I say? The big musical production number was going to be "The Fellow From Pocatello", shot Busby Berkeley-style in the gym, but there was also a tender and touching scene with a song entitled" "Love is a Three-winged Dove." I believe we were far along the Monty Python path even then, although Monty P. did not exist in its' full glory. The moral of the story is that if you take a bunch of kids with 130+ I.Q.'s and let 'em all loose to do a musical with a movie camera, you will wind up with an ungodly love song straight from Dante's Inferno! Hence, the Monk's robes to this very day! 
Oh...the post...yes...almost forgot...whenever I am in a relationship, the art goes buh-bye immediately...it is a problemo, but for now, I am deep in the mephitic and belabored coils of the art of the Sweet New Dark Obscure Style....Bellisimo!



missaf said:


> PK that is a wonderful way to look at life and relationships-- our hearts should soar like writing a symphony from the heart when inspired by love :wubu:


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## missaf (Feb 19, 2006)

Don'tcha think art is a way of escaping, Obe? For me, I used to write stories about what I'd love my life to be, hundreds, sometimes thousands of pages, then I'd start a new one when that soap opera petered out. I burned them all one fine day, realizing that I needed to live in the real world, but I sometimes have the urge to break out the writing again, but don't as I know it centers me well within myself and I tend to not want to deal.


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## Obesus (Feb 19, 2006)

MissAF...that there's the rub....not only are all of my degrees in art, but it has always been the one true thing that actually fills my heart and that has been my real career. The job-function I perform at the Clinic is what supports my life-work...the art. 

Making art has been the essential thing that I have loved to do all of my life, so it is the furthest thing from escape; it is quite the opposite and I have found that it is when I _stop_ making art that I get into real trouble.

A lot of artists have this situation and many of them have lost their relationships when their art became the first thing in life...to give up art would be tantamount to failing at life...I will be doing it up to my last breath. That is why I hold out no great hopes for a relationship...I am not closed to that possibility, but the probabilities are not good and the longevity is doubtful...it would also require finding a woman who could understand that she would always be in competition for my attention with the Muse....that is one reason I have been increasingly interested in the idea of community...for that is where art can play a vital and fulfilling role...emotionally and intellectually. Most of my art is performed in the public arena or exhibited one way or the other, so it does become an emotional relationship with the larger community.:bow: 



missaf said:


> Don'tcha think art is a way of escaping, Obe? For me, I used to write stories about what I'd love my life to be, hundreds, sometimes thousands of pages, then I'd start a new one when that soap opera petered out. I burned them all one fine day, realizing that I needed to live in the real world, but I sometimes have the urge to break out the writing again, but don't as I know it centers me well within myself and I tend to not want to deal.


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## missaf (Feb 19, 2006)

Great insight into your heart, Obe, thanks  I understand a little more now


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## Obesus (Feb 20, 2006)

You da bomb! I appreciate how you are always there to help support folks on all of the boards...you are a true communit-arian! Thanks to you!:bow: 



missaf said:


> Great insight into your heart, Obe, thanks  I understand a little more now


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## PolarKat (Feb 20, 2006)

missaf said:


> Don'tcha think art is a way of escaping, Obe? For me, I used to write stories about what I'd love my life to be, hundreds, sometimes thousands of pages, then I'd start a new one when that soap opera petered out.I burned them all one fine day, realizing that I needed to live in the real world, but I sometimes have the urge to break out the writing again, but don't as I know it centers me well within myself and I tend to not want to deal.



That's such a shame, but I can relate to "getting rid of the old to starting a new". The best writing is always produced by people who are in a stage of life where they are just living in themselves (King/Tolkien). If life was always good+, then you would have never excercised your imaginiation, your view/opinion on the world would have been very limited, and most importantly you wouldn't be open to strange/new ideas.
I come from the opposite educational spectrum as Obesus but..


Obesus said:


> I have found that it is when I stop making art that I get into real trouble.


This line applies quite well.


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## Fat Gary NYC (Feb 21, 2006)

PolarKat said:


> Scifi & Comic & Anime festivals . . .



There's going to be a major comic book convention, the New York Comic-Con, at the Javits Center this upcoming weekend (February 24-26). I can think of at least one BHM who'll be there...  

I'm sure there'll be others... not that I need the competition... :doh:


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## sweetnnekked (Feb 21, 2006)

...I've been here all along! Where have you been?

- Pat


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## JerseyBigBoy (Feb 21, 2006)

PolarKat said:


> Where to find big fellows, and easy excuses to talk to them...
> 
> During football season go to any tavern that has beer and chicken wing specials. See you next fall!


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