# What's her reason?



## Scorsese86 (Oct 14, 2012)

I didn't quite know what to use at the title, but anyway...

I have a little blog which is basically a diary where I post everything from personal stories, depression, BBW/FA-related posts, poems, politics, celebrities, pop culture in general etc. 
About a year or so, there was a girl who started to comment on a lot of the BBW-related posts. After a while she befriended me on Facebook, and we started talking. She had never heard about men being attracted to bigger women and she basically thanked me for giving her more confidence. She's not fat, but she's rather curvy, and she told me she always "the biggest" in her group of friends.

She also has a boyfriend, but for some reason he is never the subject. I see on her FB that they have a nice relationship, but I've never really asked about what he thinks about her curves. She's smart, funny and those boobs are epic, so I guess he can't complain.

Anyway, a few weeks ago, she sent me a message on FB. Basically she said she had been a "naughty girl" and that she had eaten so much this day. A big burger, a big bowl of ice cream and ended the meal with chocolate. Now she was just sitting there, rubbing her belly and feeling so guilty. Needless to say, this was very exciting to hear about. 
So, a few days later she sent me another message. She had baked a cake, and basically eaten almost the entire cake by herself. Again, she felt "guilty" and needed to tell me how she felt. She was so stuffed and she couldn't believe how greedy she had been, stuffing herself with so much cake. 

I wonder: ever been in this situation? Why is she flirting and teasing me so much? She knows about my preferance, and I don't know if these stories are true or not, but again, she is very curvy, she claims she loves chocolate and junk food.


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## J34 (Oct 14, 2012)

Have you ever asked what her boyfriend thinks of her curves? Maybe she is trying to seek attention that she is not receiving from him?


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## AuntHen (Oct 14, 2012)

Scorsese86 said:


> I didn't quite know what to use at the title, but anyway...
> 
> I have a little blog which is basically a diary where I post everything from personal stories, depression, BBW/FA-related posts, poems, politics, celebrities, pop culture in general etc.
> About a year or so, there was a girl who started to comment on a lot of the BBW-related posts. After a while she befriended me on Facebook, and we started talking. She had never heard about men being attracted to bigger women and she basically thanked me for giving her more confidence. She's not fat, but she's rather curvy, and she told me she always "the biggest" in her group of friends.
> ...



I know this is the FA thread and I can see how this would be alluring and exciting (on both sides) but my advice... as long as she has a boyfriend... just. say. no.


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## Scorsese86 (Oct 14, 2012)

J34 said:


> Have you ever asked what her boyfriend thinks of her curves? Maybe she is trying to seek attention that she is not receiving from him?



There are some very few times her boyfriend has been mentioned, and she says she loves him and he loves her. I checked some older messages now, and I see that she writes one time that she has only been told she's beautiful by two guys: her boyfriend and me.


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## Scorsese86 (Oct 14, 2012)

fat9276 said:


> I know this is the FA thread and I can see how this would be alluring and exciting (on both sides) but my advice... as long as she has a boyfriend... just. say. no.



You know, it's tempting, but again: it's against everything I believe in. Adultery isn't really my thing. Especially since I was together with a girl a few years ago who had an affair while we were a couple.


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## WVMountainrear (Oct 14, 2012)

Scorsese86 said:


> You know, it's tempting, but again: it's against everything I believe in. Adultery isn't really my thing. Especially since I was together with a girl a few years ago who had an affair while we were a couple.



I agree with B, Ivan. She's obviously attention-seeking. And I know you, and I know you'll get emotionally involved with her when she's just looking for a thrill. If she has a boyfriend and says they love each other, there's no future for you with her. If she breaks up with her boyfriend and decides to date other men after that, by all means...but not until then. Do it the right way. If she wants to start a new relationship, she should put a clear end to the one she already has first. You're both just playing with fire as things are now. Just my two cents, dear. *hugs*


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## Scorsese86 (Oct 14, 2012)

lovelylady78 said:


> I agree with B, Ivan. She's obviously attention-seeking. And I know you, and I know you'll get emotionally involved with her when she's just looking for a thrill. If she has a boyfriend and says they love each other, there's no future for you with her. If she breaks up with her boyfriend and decides to date other men after that, by all means...but not until then. Do it the right way. If she wants to start a new relationship, she should put a clear end to the one she already has first. You're both just playing with fire as things are now. Just my two cents, dear. *hugs*



Thank you, Cheryl. I agree with you.
I guess you know I want try to make any move on her, and it's always she who contacts me first. 
I've never understood how someone in a relationship can flirt with others. Given the messages she sends, I concider this flirting. But again, I don't get that much attention from girls, you know


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## WVMountainrear (Oct 14, 2012)

Scorsese86 said:


> Thank you, Cheryl. I agree with you.
> I guess you know I want try to make any move on her, and it's always she who contacts me first.
> I've never understood how someone in a relationship can flirt with others. Given the messages she sends, I concider this flirting. But again, I don't get that much attention from girls, you know




Well, there's a difference between general flirting and seeking direct private attention from a specific person behind your significant other's back. She's in the second category. But I don't think you're wrong in interpreting her actions at all-- she's definitely flirting/coming onto you/trying to get a rise out of you. (No pun intended.)


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## CastingPearls (Oct 14, 2012)

Scorsese86 said:


> Thank you, Cheryl. I agree with you.
> I guess you know I want try to make any move on her, and it's always she who contacts me first.
> I've never understood how someone in a relationship can flirt with others. Given the messages she sends, I concider this flirting. But again, I don't get that much attention from girls, you know


When someone is blatantly looking for attention outside of a committed relationship, they're either unhappy with the relationship or unhappy with themselves. Something tells me in her case that it's both.


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## WVMountainrear (Oct 14, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> When someone is blatantly looking for attention outside of a committed relationship, they're either unhappy with the relationship or unhappy with themselves. Something tells me in her case that it's both.



And CP hits the nail on the head, as usual.


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## Tad (Oct 15, 2012)

It could just be attention seeking, and she's figured out that this is the sort of thing that will get your attention. 

Or it could be that she's always had stuffing or gaining general being-fat desires that she's managed to mostly suppress up until now. Suddenly, she has an outlet for them. If that is the case she could just be blowing off steam to reduce the pressure, as it were--wanting to keep things good with her boyfriend who isn't into that sort of thing, but still wanting to explore those feelings.

Or she could have emotional/stress eating issues, or out-right binge eating problems, that she's hidden from you up until now, and you seem like someone she could talk to about them.

Or....I'm sure there are a lot of other possibilities too. 

Personally, in that situation, I'd ask myself how much I want to get in the middle of things, but possibly ask her what is going on.


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## spiritangel (Oct 15, 2012)

You know there is some awesome advice here 

There is another option I had an ex who had this need to confess his sins as it were. It was his way of making himself feel better (sometimes it was not such a good thing) but it could be her way of dealing with the guilt she is carrying.

Whatever happens Ivan you deserve better to be the guy she confesses to or dalys with to get whatever she is missing from her boyfriend.


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## Surlysomething (Oct 15, 2012)

Run for the hills.

Sounds like a whole lot of crazy to me.


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## Scorsese86 (Oct 15, 2012)

spiritangel said:


> You know there is some awesome advice here
> 
> There is another option I had an ex who had this need to confess his sins as it were. It was his way of making himself feel better (sometimes it was not such a good thing) but it could be her way of dealing with the guilt she is carrying.
> 
> Whatever happens Ivan you deserve better to be the guy she confesses to or dalys with to get whatever she is missing from her boyfriend.



You know, I'm a Catholic. This whole confession thing, when you mention this, I think about it that way. 

Well, as I've said before, I am not interested in being some "secret friend" or whatever you want to call it. I think she is curious about the whole thing, but again, I've never mentioned stuffing to her. She was the one that brought that thing up.

But seriously, no other FA's been in this situation?


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## James (Oct 20, 2012)

I've been in a similar situation.

The lesson I learned for the future was that if someone flirts with you while with someone else and then eventually ends up with you, then the precedent has been set and if/when the cycle repeats then you'll feel like an idiot for not having foreseen it.

In short. Avoid.


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## natepogue (Nov 6, 2012)

The answer is obvious. Ask her to start making videos of herself overeating and rubbing her belly. Then pleasure yourself to them.


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## Scorsese86 (Nov 6, 2012)

natepogue said:


> The answer is obvious. Ask her to start making videos of herself overeating and rubbing her belly. Then pleasure yourself to them.



The sinful, dark side in me agrees on that... but my head says no.


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## liz (di-va) (Nov 11, 2012)

I'd suggest another factor all this, which is that she might see in you a safe outlet for the particular pressures that she feels about body size. That is - there may be nothing sexual to this about her, but she uses it as an outlet regardless, because it's the only one she knows where it's not bad to be fat. (This is another way of saying that it's probably not a good thing that she's doing.) Anyhow, I would wonder strongly if what's a loaded sexual issue for you is likely a loaded issue for her but in a totally different way.


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