# How much weight do YOU think I should gain?



## rissa (Mar 11, 2008)

I'm very interested in the whole BBW scene. just looking for some opinions


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## Jes (Mar 11, 2008)

I don't think you should gain anything, rissa. I don't think you'd be happy with yourself.


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## GordoNegro (Mar 11, 2008)

Self-happiness is key, would sadden me to hear of another stereotypical self-loathing big girl, as there are too many out there as it is.
If you do decide for a lifestyle change, take it gradually and monitor how you continue to feel.


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## Tad (Mar 11, 2008)

I just read your other posts, and then this one. One option is obviously none, as you are a fine looking woman as you are. But having read your other posts, I cant help but think: enough to make you feel fat. Which is probably not even meaning plus sizes, but enough that when you hit the beach you cant hide some softness and bulges, enough that you go through your current clothes getting first tight and then outright too small, enough that you cant disguise that youve gained some weight. That wont tell you what it is like to be a BBW, but it will tell you what it is like in your life to gain weight, and to break out of the standard mold. It is probably not so much that you cant lose it again, albeit it may take a significant effort to do so. Even if you do lose it all and never put it back on, youll at least have satisfied some of your curiosity. It is also possible that youll find you dont want to lose the weight, after having put it on. 

By the way, I can sympathize a fair bit with your desires. I always (or at least since puberty) had similar desires to be fat. In my case I was not skinny in the first place, but I did fight those urges pretty hard through my early twenties. Then I began to give in a little here, a little there, and over most of two decades Im up by forty pounds, and Im still torn. There are days Id really like to go out and lose at least twenty of those, while there are others where Id like to cut loose and gain another twenty, if not fifty or a hundred. At times over these years Ive managed to lose a few pounds again, or hold my weight constant for years, but between aging, desire to be fat, and a mix of lifestyle and genetics Ive always gone up again. So for me, I never had enough desire to lose that I put in the effort to work off the latest gain. Then again, Im a guy, and was in a long term relationship by the time I started letting go, so I probably did not have as much incentive.

One last thought, have you ever tried padding out your clothes and doing things around the house, to see how you like that feel?


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## imfree (Mar 11, 2008)

You are the only person in the universe who can
answer that question. Weight gain has it's
consequences. Everyone's body and lifestyle
set a unique limit to the weight a person can
carry. You could probably gain half your present
body weight with little danger if you gain less
than 2 lbs a week. Even that moderate weight
gain would cause a slight loss of mobility, you
would not be able to walk as far or run as fast 
as you can now. Some people can be fairly
healthy at twice the "recommended" weight,
while others at the same weight could be
severely compromised by the co-morbidities of
obesity. Be careful and be kind to yourself if
you do gain.


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## Tad (Mar 11, 2008)

Another question, to help make clear to us (and maybe even help clarify for you): which part(s) appeal to you: actually being fat, getting fatter, the indulgences that would be associated with gaining (the eating and maybe less time at the gym), or the lifestyle that you associate with fat people?

Or to ask it another way, your fairy godmother offers you a choice: 
- she can make you fat, but youll have to watch what you eat and work out just like you do now, or
- shell magically make you gain two pounds a week for a year, and at the end *poof* shell take you back to your current weight, or
- you can eat what you want and exercise as much or little as you want, and your weight wont change, or
- you can indulge in a certain amount of junk food and everyone will think that is normal, nobody will expect you to be physically active and fit, whether you are or not, and nobody will expect you to fit common tastes or to compete in that waybut your body wont actually change, just the expectations of most others and maybe yourself of how you should behave and what you are capable of doing.

Which do you choose? And does it differ if attached to each option is a guy who will love that about you? (he likes you fat, or loves that you are gaining, or adores your appetite, or loves that you dont fit the common mold).

And if none of those quite hit the nail on the head for you, what would? You may or may not ever choose to follow your fantasies, but by understanding your fantasies clearly you can make those choices with more confidence, and you can more easily draw limits around your fantasies.


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## rissa (Mar 11, 2008)

i'd have to say it would definitely being gaining weight but then going back to normal size. i don't think i'm ready to deal with the social implications. i just think that gaining weight...to a certain extent...would be so hot! i wouldn't want to be ginormous or incapacitated or anything, probably just 30 pounds to start and see what it's like. 

i like food, but i'm not obsessed with it. i usually eat until i'm really full, but only have 2 meals a day and make myself go to the gym afterwards to make up for it. ehh


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## rissa (Mar 11, 2008)

haha ps- psychological disorder from being a competetive ballerina since i was 2 years old? i quit when i was 14, but still. my mom and sister danced and my sister just quit because she developed an eating disorder.


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## Tad (Mar 11, 2008)

rissa said:


> i'd have to say it would definitely being gaining weight but then going back to normal size. i don't think i'm ready to deal with the social implications. i just think that gaining weight...to a certain extent...would be so hot! i wouldn't want to be ginormous or incapacitated or anything, probably just 30 pounds to start and see what it's like.
> 
> i like food, but i'm not obsessed with it. i usually eat until i'm really full, but only have 2 meals a day and make myself go to the gym afterwards to make up for it. ehh



Still with the help of fairy godmother, would it be better if:

1- nobody else noticed that you were gaining?
2- everyone noticed like normal, and probably make comments, etc, but when the weight magically goes away, they forget that you ever gained?
3- everyone noticed like normal, and they remembered afterwards, attributing your loss of the weight as some miraculous diet?
4- some other option that you can think of?

Would it change anything if in situation 3 or 4 everyone believed that the weight gain was uncontrollable due to some medical condition?


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## rissa (Mar 11, 2008)

it would be best if no one even cared. oh god, i would get so much shit from my family! i don't think i can count the number of times i was warned about the ominous "freshman 15." actually once when i was really sick in the ICU i got kind of puffy from all the medication and I even got comments from family members saying "don't ever get that big, it doesn't suit you" and "wow, you were really big in the ICU and now you're a string bean!"

so if i wouldn't get too much shit from people that would pretty but satisfy me.


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## Wagimawr (Mar 11, 2008)

rissa said:


> so if i wouldn't get too much shit from people that would pretty but satisfy me.


It'd be great, yeah  unfortunately you can't swing that sorta thing, so why limit yourself to what others tell you that you can and can't do or be?

It's a wise idea, though, to stay within your own limits of what you're comfortable with - just don't let those limits be dictated by others, and especially not others who can't see beyond their own fears and prejudices.


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## Rojodi (Mar 11, 2008)

Only you can prevent..no wait..rewind

Only you can tell what you can gain. It's what will make YOU happy.


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## diggers1917 (Mar 11, 2008)

Answer: as much or as little as YOU want.


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## Tad (Mar 11, 2008)

rissa said:


> it would be best if no one even cared. oh god, i would get so much shit from my family! i don't think i can count the number of times i was warned about the ominous "freshman 15." actually once when i was really sick in the ICU i got kind of puffy from all the medication and I even got comments from family members saying "don't ever get that big, it doesn't suit you" and "wow, you were really big in the ICU and now you're a string bean!"
> 
> so if i wouldn't get too much shit from people that would pretty but satisfy me.



Well, you are still pretty young. Maybe the thing to do right now is keep your options open. That is, try not to get heavily involved with a guy who is fixated on you being thin, dont choose a career that is super body conscious, try to make sure you have friends who are not focused on starving themselves. 

After all, over time you are apt to become more independent from your family, and what will matter will be more what you want and what your partner likes and to some extent what your friends and co-workers then think. So maybe you can keep your weight down for now, but work on moving yourself to a point in your life where gaining that trial thirty pounds would not seem shocking or impossible.


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## Gspoon (Mar 11, 2008)

Gain as much would make you happy 

The FA in me says "gain a millionty pounds" But the real me says "Gain if you want, but be warned that there are a few consequences. So, do it with caution, and make sure you are happy with it"

Good luck!


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## knottyknicky (Mar 11, 2008)

Why not just eat what you want and see where your body takes you? Just as a fat body thats always been fat isnt going to want to lose weight, a thin body thats always been thin (and seemingly comes from thin genetics, too) isn't going to want to gain weight...or it might really LOVE gaining weight, and then you might not be able to lose that weight if you wish to later...more reason to just 'let your body be' and know that your body will settle wherever it feels comfortable settling.


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## knottyknicky (Mar 11, 2008)

Also...I'm really curious about your desire to be a part of the bbw "scene." What exactly about the BBW scene do you wish you could be a part of? For me, and probably for most of us, being a BBW isn't something thats trendy, its just what we are and what we accept ourselves as...thats the scene right there. Accepting what you were born with and being happy with it, no matter what.


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## rissa (Mar 11, 2008)

I'm not sure what would happen if I ate what I wanted...I for the most part do, but I go to the gym. If I don't work out I get depressed and cranky pretty fast, so I would never want to be sedentary as a means of getting bigger...i'm just turned on by the idea of gaining weight, I guess...to actually HAVE curves and, what's more, find someone who would appreciate it!

being pretty tall (5'8" if i'm not slouching!!), I can afford to gain a few pounds and not really have it be too noticeable.


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## rissa (Mar 11, 2008)

PS - i'm not saying it's trendy! oh man, i'd probably say it's anything but!


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## SocialbFly (Mar 11, 2008)

Shouldnt this be on the weight gain board??

Please?


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## Jon Blaze (Mar 11, 2008)

diggers1917 said:


> Answer: as much or as little as YOU want.


*CLAPS*
HAI!!! :bow:
I think you look great myself, but my opinion of you should have no barring on your choice. It is your decision. Self-love should not be conditional.


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## altered states (Mar 11, 2008)

rissa said:


> it would be best if no one even cared. oh god, i would get so much shit from my family! i don't think i can count the number of times i was warned about the ominous "freshman 15." actually once when i was really sick in the ICU i got kind of puffy from all the medication and I even got comments from family members saying "don't ever get that big, it doesn't suit you" and "wow, you were really big in the ICU and now you're a string bean!"
> 
> so if i wouldn't get too much shit from people that would pretty but satisfy me.



Gain or don't gain, but do yourself a favor and get away from your family for a while. No need to disown them, change your name or whatever, but my $.10 diagnosis is that your interest in weight gain is a reaction against their toxicity. Giving you shit about how you looked while laid up in the hospital as a "warning" is unacceptable, and the other post about being a competitive ballerina and the sister's eating disorder reinforces this. Find out about yourself by defining life on your own terms and then, when you feel strong enough, define for them what acceptable behavior is. At the very least, you owe it to yourself to surround yourself with people who love and respect you.


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## Wagimawr (Mar 11, 2008)

tres huevos said:


> Gain or don't gain, but do yourself a favor and get away from your family for a while. No need to disown them, change your name or whatever, but my $.10 diagnosis is that your interest in weight gain is a reaction against their toxicity. Giving you shit about how you looked while laid up in the hospital as a "warning" is unacceptable, and the other post about being a competitive ballerina and the sister's eating disorder reinforces this. Find out about yourself by defining life on your own terms and then, when you feel strong enough, define for them what acceptable behavior is. At the very least, you owe it to yourself to surround yourself with people who love and respect you.


Fabulous advice. Listen to the egg man.


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## Jon Blaze (Mar 11, 2008)

Wagimawr said:


> Fabulous advice. Listen to the egg man.



*CLAPS*
SI!! *Mexican Hat Dance*


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## rissa (Mar 11, 2008)

that's what college is for! 
i think i worded my original question the wrong way...i didn't mean that i was going to let other people actually decide what i weighed; i just wanted some feedback. it's interesting (and i suppose comforting) that some people here think i look fine the way i am!

for now i think i've decided to just eat what i want and still work out. i need to eat somewhat healthily and at least exercise a little to avoid feeling too sluggish and depressed. if i do or don't gain weight, at least i'll still be healthy and probably happier!

i still have my own personal fantasies about gaining and being fed, but i'll keep those to myself!


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## AnnMarie (Mar 12, 2008)

This thread has been moved to the main area of the Weight Board because there are already posts contained that cross rules of the EWG subforum, and it's clearly not appropriately placed on Fat Sexuality.

/mod


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## Fascinita (Mar 12, 2008)

rissa said:


> I'm very interested in the whole BBW scene. just looking for some opinions



As a fat woman, I recommend living your life with passion on all fronts, and not letting anyone define you. As for "the lifestyle," it has its pluses and minuses. I love the freedom of being fat; however, for me it has meant decreased attention from men and respect from people in general. I can live with all of that because I believe in my own worth and dignity, and I've never let any of it stop me from pursuing my dreams. Realistically speaking, however, the fatter I grow, the fewer people I meet who are comfortable with me as a larger person and being fat(ter) has dampened my social life over time, no doubt about it. Same sparkling personality  More accomplishments. More girth. Fewer dates. So I think it has to be the individual who decides what she wants out of it and whether it will be liberating rather than oppressive.


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## Markt (Mar 12, 2008)

rissa said:


> i still have my own personal fantasies about gaining and being fed, but i'll keep those to myself!



um...i wouldn't mind if you shared...:wubu:


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## Jes (Mar 12, 2008)

rissa said:


> I'm not sure what would happen if I ate what I wanted...I for the most part do, but I go to the gym. If I don't work out I get depressed and cranky pretty fast, so I would never want to be sedentary as a means of getting bigger...i'm just turned on by the idea of gaining weight, I guess...to actually HAVE curves and, what's more, find someone who would appreciate it!
> 
> being pretty tall (5'8" if i'm not slouching!!), I can afford to gain a few pounds and not really have it be too noticeable.



I hear what you're saying and what you'd like, but in another post you told us you'd never be comfortable doing what you want and that whenever you gain, you strive to take it right off again. That's why I answered that I didn't think any weight gain at all was going to make you happy. I think it will greatly upset you. I'm not judging which is right or wrong (wanting to gain, not wanting to gain) but I think if you realize that your desire is going to make you unhappy, and that you won't be able to live with it for several reasons, that you've already answered your own question, Rissa, and that you maybe you know best, not people on a pro-weight website. Know what I mean? I would hate for you to be one of those people who ends up not liking herself, as someone else here very astutely posted. It's not a nice place to be.


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## rissa (Mar 12, 2008)

the only reason i would ever be unhappy is because i place too much emphasis on what other people think of me. have to get over that sometime! also, i never have gained weight intentionally before and worked it off right after...i meant that i would eat big meals then feel guilty then work out.

i totally understand where you're coming from and i think it makes a lot of sense. but i'm not going to not try because there's a chance i'd be unhappy. if i really start freaking out if i gain a few pounds (which i won't know until i do), i can literally see the gym from my window!

haha thanks for all the great insight everyone <3 it's possible i'm more turned on by gaining weight because it seems so taboo than actually being overweight.


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## Jes (Mar 12, 2008)

rissa said:


> haha thanks for all the great insight everyone <3 it's possible i'm more turned on by gaining weight because it seems so taboo than actually being overweight.



I think you'll find this to be very common here and in the world and it's smart that you see that. there are lots and lots of stories to read and paysites to look at to get that kind of stimulation because I know the taboo of some things is a really strong draw (i have my own set of those--though different than yours)


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## AnnMarie (Mar 12, 2008)

rissa said:


> the only reason i would ever be unhappy is because i place too much emphasis on what other people think of me. have to get over that sometime!




Some people never, ever get over that.... honestly. You have to get over it BEFORE you make changes that could emphasize those issues, not hope you can conquer the issue once you're in the thick of it.


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## Jes (Mar 12, 2008)

AnnMarie said:


> Some people never, ever get over that.... honestly. You have to get over it BEFORE you make changes that could emphasize those issues, not hope you can conquer the issue once you're in the thick of it.



wow. that's really smart. that's setting yourself up for failure, when I think about it. It's trying to force the issue w/o doing the work ahead of time. I can definitely apply that to myself (other situations). Thanks for that.


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## TotallyReal (Mar 12, 2008)

I have known more than a few girls who became more self-confident and just "felt sexier" (their words, not mine!) when they gained weight. I dated a girl back in college who had gone from 110 to around 300 pounds from her junior year of HS to her Freshman year of college, and she described the experience as an awakening -- she was unabashedly fat and empowered. Admittedly, she is an extreme example (my jaw hit the floor when I met her), but an example none the less.

Of course, on the other hand, there are tons of girls that get depressed even at the thought of gaining 5 pounds. And along with it there are people of each gender that take shots at anyone perceived as even slightly overweight. 

The center of the issue, like most people have pointed out, is that you should weight however much you want to weigh. What's a little trickier, then, is finding out what precisely you want and why you want it. While there are certainly girls (and guys, too!) who gain weight because they get turned on by the gain, or by being fat, there are also girls (and guys!) who just get turned on by the pleasure it brings their partner. There are people torn between aspects of the process -- some people who love the thought of getting fatter but not the thought of being fat, or people who love all of it but are afraid of criticism from friends/family.

Since weight gain is a pretty suppressed preference in our society, there are more than a few people (mostly guys, I think) who respond to a girl gaining weight with almost indecipherable messages of fervent support that occasionally can get a little creepy. And, I would guess as a consequence of this, you'll find that a lot of the advice you'll get on this board will try to balance out that fervor with very neutral, calm statements that urge you to think things over very carefully -- for example, most of the advice posted in this thread! While I more or less totally agree with the spirit (and practice) of these suggestions, I think it's also possible to overthink things, as well as to deny the fact that weight gain can be a very sexy experience.

I'll use myself as an example. I'm a male, in the 18-24 age range, who is an FA first and a feeder/encourager second. I'm totally open about liking fat girls to my friends, and have had numerous relationships where weight gain has played a role. However, I've also always had the urge to gain weight or be plumper. This flew in the face of a lot of what I did -- I am a distance runner/marathoner -- but after some thought, I realized that I wanted to try. I talked it over with my girlfriend, she encouraged it (very much!) and I went from 155 to 195 over several months. I enjoyed the experience (very much!), but realized I preferred to be skinnier and dropped the weight.

Did I get comments from friends? A few. But I was confident in my body and with my body, and I found that a few girls were complimenting me on the gain, saying that I had always been "too skinny" and that they preferred guys with tummies.

Was it hard to drop the weight? Not at all. Admittedly, as a marathon runner, I'm not the best example.

My advice would be to gain roughly 15 to 25 pounds, but gain them slowly and heathily -- just overeat good foods (pasta, for example) and don't binge on junk food. Feel what it's like to gain, don't hide behind unflattering clothing, and see if you like the fatter you. Try to be confident about your weight, and try to make being plump a part of your own mental image of yourself. Then, at a prearranged time, or just whenever it strikes you after a few months, assess how you feel. If you like it, stay where you are or keep gaining. If you want to go back to your earlier weight, exercise and eat a healthy but lower-calorie diet. It won't happen overnight, but dropping weight when you've gone from "normal" to "plump" really isn't that hard for most dedicated people.

So I guess what I'm saying is, think it over carefully, sure, but don't be afraid to gain a little if you're still uncertain -- just like picking a major in college, most people don't really know with absolute certainty how they'll feel when they gain weight. But, at least in my experience, an extra 20 pounds is completely healthy and easily reversed, so it's definitely worth trying out.


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## mrman1980uk (Mar 12, 2008)

rissa said:


> I'm very interested in the whole BBW scene. just looking for some opinions



My opinion: you're very pretty  It cannot be fun if you like the idea of putting on weight but have family who'd be oppressive and unkind about it; but, really, it's your life, not theirs: it's important to be independent 

I do get what you mean about not exercising regularly: if I don't exercise for a few days, I can't concentrate or sleep properly. It's really important to have enough exercise, for both physical and mental health, and it's very annoying when people think that the only purpose of exercise is somehow to counteract food and reduce weight: the reality is that weight, per se, bar extremes either way, has little impact on health, but fitness is really rather important.

Weight gain is sexy - you look lovely as you are now, but there is, as no doubt you appreciate by your own posts here, something independently quite alluring about putting on weight and becoming curvier. If you feel that you'd enjoy putting on a little weight (you are quite right in seeking to avoid extremes: not only is it more sensible generally, but, as with most things erotic, the subtle is usually more alluring than the extreme), there'd be no harm in overindulging now and then and seeing what delicious consequences that that might bring to your figure. There have been people who have posted here and elsewhere who have taken putting on weight so seriously that it ceases to become an indulgence and becomes instead a chore, which, in my view at least, rather defeats the object of the exercise. When people start worrying that they are not putting on enough weight is when the whole thing becomes entirely counter-productive.

As you have already worked out, it'd be very unwise to cease exercising entirely, but considering exercise as a means to achieving health and fitness, rather than thinness (and understanding the disconnect between the two) is the best attitude towards it: in other words, one should never exercise more _because_ one has eaten more. 

There is, of course, nothing remotely incompatible with stating, on the one hand, that you look lovely as you are, and, on the other, that it'd be most alluring if you put on a little weight. Whether that allure is, in your opinion, sufficient to outweigh any insecurities that you might have is a matter that only you can judge. As psychologists often point out, people asking questions of this nature often do so already having a good idea as to what they want the answer to be 

*Edit*: As to finding someone who appreciates curves, you've definitely come to the right place... ;-)


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## IwannabeVERYfat (Mar 12, 2008)

Rissa, I honestly think you are GORGEOUS the way you are right now.
but if you want to gain, try 5-10 lbs and see how you like how you look.
I really like you as you are 

best wishes,

Jeff


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## FaxMachine1234 (Mar 12, 2008)

rissa said:


> the only reason i would ever be unhappy is because i place too much emphasis on what other people think of me. have to get over that sometime! also, i never have gained weight intentionally before and worked it off right after...i meant that i would eat big meals then feel guilty then work out.
> 
> i totally understand where you're coming from and i think it makes a lot of sense. but i'm not going to not try because there's a chance i'd be unhappy. if i really start freaking out if i gain a few pounds (which i won't know until i do), i can literally see the gym from my window!
> 
> haha thanks for all the great insight everyone <3 it's possible i'm more turned on by gaining weight because it seems so taboo than actually being overweight.



Good call. If you know you'll be uncomfortable with it, than you shouldn't gain the weight and hope you'll be fine with it then. It's all about happiness, and if it won't make you totally happy, then stay where you are.


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## Fascinita (Mar 13, 2008)

AnnMarie said:


> Some people never, ever get over that.... honestly. You have to get over it BEFORE you make changes that could emphasize those issues, not hope you can conquer the issue once you're in the thick of it.



I was going to say, and Jes beat me to it, that this seems very, very smart to me. Nicely said.


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## altered states (Mar 13, 2008)

Wagimawr said:


> Fabulous advice. Listen to the egg man.



Exactly. The walrus is a douche.


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## Still a Skye fan (Mar 15, 2008)

You're a lovely girl. If you want to gain, why not just try it?


Dennis


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## Totmacher (Mar 16, 2008)

Gain until it isn't fun anymore, then stop.


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## rissa (Apr 3, 2008)

alright so i went on Spring Break and basically just ate/drank whatever I wanted...and I definitely put on a few pounds and loved it. i've been overindulging ever since I've been back at school...at first it seemed like I was gaining, and I was always feeling full but...now it actually seems as if I've lost weight!

is this typical?


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## IwannabeVERYfat (Apr 3, 2008)

you are very pretty 
I wish you the best in your gaining


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## infinity57401 (Apr 3, 2008)

rissa said:


> alright so i went on Spring Break and basically just ate/drank whatever I wanted...and I definitely put on a few pounds and loved it. i've been overindulging ever since I've been back at school...at first it seemed like I was gaining, and I was always feeling full but...now it actually seems as if I've lost weight!
> 
> is this typical?



That just means you have a fast metabolism, if you do keep eating and drinking more than you are used to eventually you will gain weight.


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## BackNickelBack (Apr 3, 2008)

First of all, I think you are gorgeous now, and you'd probably be just as pretty at any size. After reading your posts, I think we have a lot in common.

I definitely know where you're coming from about the social stigma. I'm an FA, which is not "normal" in the eyes of today's society. I told my mom and she thought it was just a stupid phase that I was going through, so I know how parents can be. I'm not a shining example of self-acceptance, seeing as only a few close friends know of my preferences, but what I can tell you is that you'd be surprised at how some people react. I was so afraid of what my best friend would say when I told him because he always seemed a little close-minded and ignorant of other people's beliefs/sexuality/preferences/etc, but I told him, and he turned out to be one of the most supportive of all my friends. I know I'm rambling, but my point is that you should tell a good friend about your curiosity in weight gain. They can help you build confidence, feel accepted, and help you determine if you want to do this because you actually want to gain or just because you're feeling rebellious.

Also, I expect that your body is like mine. I've been trying to gain weight, not because I have a desire to gain, but for appearance (if that makes since). I'm about 5' 5" and 110, and don't get me wrong, I love my body, but I've been trying to bulk up a little bit. I've been trying for a couple years now, but I've only put on about 10 lbs. I don't stuff myself everyday, but I eat three full meals with snacks in between, but my metabolism just won't allow me to gain any weight. You might find that you're body is already in its most comfortable state. If it is, then I wouldn't suggest gaining, because it would most likely be very difficult to slim back down once you broke out of your body's comfort zone.

Anyway, I'm done rambling. I'm sure everything will work out for the best.

Peace,
Devin


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## rissa (Apr 3, 2008)

i just want to set everyone straight for a second and say that gaining weight isn't a whim or whatever- i've wanted to since i was really young and have been turned on by it since God knows how long...i just didn't tell anyone about it until now.

i'm always full for hours after every meal, so much so that i can't manage to snack in between (for instance, i had lunch 4 1/2 hrs ago and am still full)...i think from undereating for so long i can't really handle that much...like, now i'll have a sub AND chips, and i'm full. 

i used to be around 15lbs heavier (uninentionally), but somehow the weight just came off in a couple years, so this might be my comfortable size. i do tend to be heavier though, being 5'8". i'm around 150lbs but i don't think you could tell from the pictures i posted.

blah...just rambling too!!


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## 180180f (Apr 3, 2008)

Definitely couldn't tell that was your weight from your pics! Like everyone else on here says, you do look great in them - beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but if so many people see it, you must know you're onto a good thing!

Am just wondering if you posted to find out how big people in the fa community tend to like their women? The people on here seem like far too nice a bunch to impose their own ideals on your body, so you wouldn't be about to get that kind of answer!

How much you gain would be dependent on your metabolism, sure, but if you're working out, that would definitely affect it! I used to be a staunch believer it was down to calories in minus calories burned, but when I started training lightly for a 1/2-marathon and eating way more than usual I didn't gain as nearly as much as the numbers suggested I should have done! Just a personal insight, there's no way you should stop exercising just to gain weight as that definitely would not be healthy!

I think you have to give these things time as well - bodies take time to adjust, months maybe. If you're eating more than before and exercising teh same, chances are you are gaining weight, however slowly, so sit back and enjoy it! Have you thought about measuring around yourself with a tape measuree? That's often more accurate than scales, which can fluctuate! Not anywhere around your stomach though, that can get bloated - somewhere like your thigh or around your butt?


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## rissa (Apr 3, 2008)

haha i always get that i weigh more than people think i do! guess i'm just one of those people...i was wondering how big people tend to like their women, or something along those lines. everyone's been really nice saying i look fine whatever size i am etc. 

i unfortunately HAVE to stop exercising for a little since i may have broken my foot (x-rays tomorrow!)...while working out. i definitely should invest in a measuring tape. i don't like scales- my parents never let us have one in the house because they thought it would be traumatic to teenage girls ha!


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## rita.jones56 (Apr 9, 2008)

I carry my weight pretty well too. I'd say enjoy the trip up the scale as much as possible because it will get old after a while.


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## lifelongpassion (Apr 9, 2008)

rissa said:


> ...i was wondering how big people tend to like their women, or something along those lines.



I think you'll find a lot of guys here and at other bbw appreciation sites have a wide range of sizes that they prefer women to be. Odds are, whatever size a bbw is here, she'll find admirers.


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## BOXER (Apr 16, 2008)

rissa said:


> I'm very interested in the whole BBW scene. just looking for some opinions



Hey Rissa, 1st of u look absaloutly beautifull the way u r! But if ur asking my opinion gain LOTS!  The more the better if u ask me but bare in mind if it aint as good as uthought its alot harder to lose than gain! Dont change for no1 but urself, but if u want to gain thats great i love it when women gain on purpose!


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## NoWayOut (Apr 16, 2008)

Gain as much as you want to, but stop if you decide it's no fun anymore. But if you decide to gain a lot, I'm sure you will look great as a BBW.


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## Waxwing (Apr 16, 2008)

rissa said:


> alright so i went on Spring Break and basically just ate/drank whatever I wanted...and I definitely put on a few pounds and loved it. i've been overindulging ever since I've been back at school...at first it seemed like I was gaining, and I was always feeling full but...now it actually seems as if I've lost weight!
> 
> is this typical?



The body loves balance, and if you suddenly shoot up or down in weight, it's going to try to settle back into what it considers normal. So what's true about gaining OR losing weight is that you have to gently sort of work through that plateau. Metabolic rates don't vary as much as people think-- it's just that bodies don't like fast change, and will fight it. In either direction. 

To answer if you should gain weight, I don't know. But just like everyone else I'll say that you should do what makes you feel sexy happy and content, no matter WHAT anyone else says.


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## theguy (May 14, 2008)

hey, wow you are really pretty, like I mean it your gorgeous. You have a nice smile, the best thing is to be happy. Putting on weight can be fun and if u wanna do that do it, but make sure YOU wanna do it for you and u will like it. i always thought people noticing was kinda the fun part too, but whatever floats your boat. As long as you like your descision and keep that pretty face smiling, you really will be gorgeous at any weight, really. yeah

hopefuull you do that


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## Bigjoedo (May 15, 2008)

Rissa,

It's been over a month how are things going? Have you been able to gain any weight, how do you feel? Keep smiling

Bigjoedo


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## Russell Williams (May 16, 2008)

I can not find the book right now but a number of years ago someone wrote a book called "diets do not work" and claimed to have a series of weight gaining clinics for the very thin who wanted to be five or ten pounds heavier. He said that he would get them to loose five pounds or so and then let them eat. They would gain ten pounds or so and stablize. Then if they still wanted to be a bit bigger he would put them on another diet.

At NAAFA conventions I have asked probably nearly 100 women about their dieting histories. Almost all of them told of being at a certain weight, yielding to presssure to get thinnier, dieting, then gaining all the weight back and then some. Stablizing at this new and higher weight, dieting again, and so, diet by diet, getting bigger and bigger. 

Anyone here have that expierence?

I get some hint that after you hit fifty or so dieting no longer works so strongly to make you fatter.

Russell Williams


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## Dravenhawk (May 24, 2008)

rissa said:


> I'm very interested in the whole BBW scene. just looking for some opinions



Answer -- 487,912 lbs 14 oz no more, no less.


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## rissa (May 24, 2008)

what does dieting have to do with any of this? but on that subject, i've read that diets don't really work- only a complete change in lifestyle. 

anyway i recently got dumped, so i'm not really sure where i stand. the whole thing really shook what little confidence i had, especially because i still care for the guy and he said in the past (not about me, but in general) "i don't kiss fatties."


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## infinity57401 (May 25, 2008)

rissa said:


> what does dieting have to do with any of this? but on that subject, i've read that diets don't really work- only a complete change in lifestyle.
> 
> anyway i recently got dumped, so i'm not really sure where i stand. the whole thing really shook what little confidence i had, especially because i still care for the guy and he said in the past (not about me, but in general) "i don't kiss fatties."



No most diets don't work I'm one of the few where I didn't try to read some book to lose weight. Exercise is pretty much the only guarantee.

Sorry to hear that you got dumped, I hope you are holding up well. Well if you want to gain weight it's your decision and no one elses. Do what makes you happy.


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## dude2005 (May 26, 2008)

rissa said:


> what does dieting have to do with any of this? but on that subject, i've read that diets don't really work- only a complete change in lifestyle.
> 
> anyway i recently got dumped, so i'm not really sure where i stand. the whole thing really shook what little confidence i had, especially because i still care for the guy and he said in the past (not about me, but in general) "i don't kiss fatties."



I'm sorry to hear that. From what I can gather, this guy made a very big mistake.


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## IwannabeVERYfat (May 26, 2008)

sorry to hear you got dumped, I hope you find someone soon. from your pics, you're very cute


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## matt82 (May 27, 2008)

rissa said:


> what does dieting have to do with any of this? but on that subject, i've read that diets don't really work- only a complete change in lifestyle.
> 
> anyway i recently got dumped, so i'm not really sure where i stand. the whole thing really shook what little confidence i had, especially because i still care for the guy and he said in the past (not about me, but in general) "i don't kiss fatties."





 thats sad


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## CeriseDelice (May 29, 2008)

I would happily trade weights with you if I could! I'm not really into being overweight, myself, but I love that there is a fat - admiring community! It's nice to know that some boys would be attracted to me at 280 lbs (my highest), and my current weight of 263 lbs... I'm 5'6 1/2, and I'd like to lose between 143 and 163 lbs, depending on how I will look and feel. Anyway, I'd love to trade weights with you, Rissa! (I apologise ahead of time if I've said anything dumb, as I haven't thoroughly read the entire thread, heehee). As most people have said, only gain as much as will make *you* feel comfortable ^-^


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## rissa (May 29, 2008)

hey! thanks for the post  
I think if you lost 163 pounds you'd be dead! As a guideline that isn't that reliable, my doctor once told me that an average weight for 5' is 100lbs and then you add 5lbs for every inch after that. So an average weight for 5' 6 1/2 would be somewhere between 130-132.5lbs. ...And that's a THIN weight, too. If I followed those guidelines I'd have to weigh 140lbs and right now I'm a little over 150lbs and people still say I'm pretty thin. The lowest I ever weighed was like 122lbs, but I was really sick at the time and had lost pretty much all muscle tone whatsoever and I looked pretty skeletal. I know you're a couple inches shorter than me, though, but there you have it. I'm sure you look great at whatever size!


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## Tad (May 29, 2008)

CeriseDelice said:


> I would happily trade weights with you if I could! I'm not really into being overweight, myself, but I love that there is a fat - admiring community! It's nice to know that some boys would be attracted to me at 280 lbs (my highest), and my current weight of 263 lbs... I'm 5'6 1/2, and I'd like to lose between 143 and 163 lbs, depending on how I will look and feel. Anyway, I'd love to trade weights with you, Rissa! (I apologise ahead of time if I've said anything dumb, as I haven't thoroughly read the entire thread, heehee). As most people have said, only gain as much as will make *you* feel comfortable ^-^



Welcome to Dimensions, CericeDelice!

I hope you do get more comfortable with your body. You'll find there is support here for eating well and getting active, but generally with the caveat that eating well and being active are more critical to health than the number on the scale.

Best of luck with whatever you do.


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## CeriseDelice (May 29, 2008)

Oh, thank you ^-^ I really don't think I'd be dead at 100 lbs, though, heehee ^-^ I've seen plenty of healthy girls at the same height and weight ^-^ Thank you for welcoming me


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## HEINEKEN (May 31, 2008)

Waxwing said:


> The body loves balance, and if you suddenly shoot up or down in weight, it's going to try to settle back into what it considers normal. So what's true about gaining OR losing weight is that you have to gently sort of work through that plateau. Metabolic rates don't vary as much as people think-- it's just that bodies don't like fast change, and will fight it. In either direction.
> 
> To answer if you should gain weight, I don't know. But just like everyone else I'll say that you should do what makes you feel sexy happy and content, no matter WHAT anyone else says.




Finding the realm between fantasy and reality is tricky. I fantasize about mutual wg, stuffing, feeding, and things of that sort, but I'm ashamed to open up about my feelings in this area...I'm glad that I have a place like this to read and vent about my desires.


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## chileno (Jun 19, 2008)

Hi rissa
First of all, let me say that it has taken a lot of courage on your part to state your opinions so far. I think it is great that you have opened up not only about your desires, but about the trouble you have fulfilling those desires. Anyone can come in and say they want something, but it takes character to share your flaws, thoughts, and ask for advice. Also, showing your picture was very brave of you, since you never know who might be lurking at these boards.
Other than that, I want to say that you are a very beautiful girl, and I am sure that you would look good at any weight. So if you are feeling a bit self conscious about the way you look, or about the way you want to look, please don't. I am sure you will find plenty of support here, and advice from people who have gone through the same situations.
Also, I wanted to let you know that I am also addicted to celebrity sites  The Skinny Website, Perez Hilton, ICYDK, and ImNotObsessed are all in my favorites, and I am not adverse to checking out other ones.
Anyways, I wanted to welcome you to the boards, and hope that your experience here will be a positive one.
Regards,
Jorge


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## psychodemential (Jun 19, 2008)

ZOMG OVER 9000...LBS!!!111!ONEONEONE!!1ELEVEN
(cough sarcasm)

Seriously, I'm surprised how well this topic has gone. I'm very pleased to see that not every post is "OMG GAIN SOOO MCUH WAIT".

As for the OP, I'd concur with most of those before me - don't gain any based on our opinion. Gain if you want to, don't if you don't. Do what feels right for you - gaining for other people, whether for the internet populace or even a significant other, is VERY unhealthy, and frankly, it's what gives so many of us a bad reputation.


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## rissa (Jun 19, 2008)

Thanks! I'm obsessed with WhoWhatWearDaily.com as well. TheSuperficial can be really funny in a mean way but I feel like the info isn't as good as Perez (obviously). 

and i wouldn't alter my appearance..in anyway way, not just weight-wise..based on what other people wanted unless i agreed with them. i'm not completely spineless!

i think it's kind of a fantasy, the reality being that if I eat a bunch of junk food and don't exercise I start to feel really tired and depressed REALLY quickly. i have to work on that, though. i'm kind of an "all or nothing" person, meaning I either go to the gym and kick my ass or don't go for weeks...i know there's a balance, i just have to become more comfortable with that. i guess i'm kind of a perfectionist in all aspects of my life


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## Markt (Jun 19, 2008)

I think the issue will take care of itself in time. You'll probably gain weight once you get into a relationship, and based on how your partner feels about it you'll either go with in the same direction as his desires or rebel against them. Either way you won't be as thin as you are now in a few years.


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## scudmissilez (Jun 20, 2008)

I say if you are fine with being large, then eat and work out in quantites that make you the happiest, and see where you wind up


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## bloberingdv (Jul 1, 2008)

since gaining weight turns you on, have you ever thought you may be a FFA?


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Jul 2, 2008)

rissa said:


> what does dieting have to do with any of this? but on that subject, i've read that diets don't really work- only a complete change in lifestyle.
> 
> anyway i recently got dumped, so i'm not really sure where i stand. the whole thing really shook what little confidence i had, especially because i still care for the guy and he said in the past (not about me, but in general) "i don't kiss fatties."




What a dickweed.


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## J34 (Jul 2, 2008)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> What a dickweed.



my thoughts exactly. Although I'd call him a douchebag.


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## rissa (Jul 2, 2008)

haha he isn't THAT bad...well, he is but whatever. is it really messed up that a small part of me wants to crazy diet/workout so he thinks i look awesome when school starts and gets jealous? haha anywayy i started a new med that makes me lose my appetite as a side effect...i only eat 1500-1700 cal a day now, but i haven't lost any weight yet so I guess that's good!

here's the most recent picture of me (from the DMB concert last week). it's the closest thing to a full-length picture that i have. yes, i need a tan and no, that isn't "the" guy..just a friend!


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## KHayes666 (Jul 2, 2008)

rissa said:


> haha he isn't THAT bad...well, he is but whatever. is it really messed up that a small part of me wants to crazy diet/workout so he thinks i look awesome when school starts and gets jealous? haha anywayy i started a new med that makes me lose my appetite as a side effect...i only eat 1500-1700 cal a day now, but i haven't lost any weight yet so I guess that's good!
> 
> here's the most recent picture of me (from the DMB concert last week). it's the closest thing to a full-length picture that i have. yes, i need a tan and no, that isn't "the" guy..just a friend!



You look great just the way you are


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## rissa (Jul 2, 2008)

thanks!


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## KHayes666 (Jul 2, 2008)

rissa said:


> thanks!



After reviewing your posts.....its obviously to me you fantasize about being a BBW but have no desire to actually be one.

You're too self conscious about how you look to just go "fuck it, i'm gonna eat what I want" and you're too young and active to change. Not saying this is a bad thing by any means, but its just my observation.

Someone had the point earlier that you think gaining weight is sexy which possibily means you could be a FFA. You may not want to gain but maybe your next b/f could gain and you'd find that hot.

If you yourself has no desire to put on any weight, then I suggest hitting the BHM/FFA boards because that's where you'd fit right in.


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## rissa (Jul 2, 2008)

because of personal issues that have recently come to light, i have started to question why my interest in this ever began. that's all i feel like saying about it right now, but i don't think i will be coming to this website anymore. 

a lot more things make sense now. if anyone already has an account at dailystrength.org or would like to keep talking, my account there is mdb8825. i couldnt figure out how to delete this one.

sorry everyone. i didn't mean to "lead you on" or whatever. i assure you that my interest in this was genuine at the time...it's just that i've recently started to deal with a lot of bad things that happened when I was a kid that most likely made me want to gain weight.

so please don't send me any PMs encouraging me to gain or anything, because i just don't think any of this is helping me or is healthy for me.

thanks & sorry,
marissa


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## KHayes666 (Jul 3, 2008)

rissa said:


> because of personal issues that have recently come to light, i have started to question why my interest in this ever began. that's all i feel like saying about it right now, but i don't think i will be coming to this website anymore.
> 
> a lot more things make sense now. if anyone already has an account at dailystrength.org or would like to keep talking, my account there is mdb8825. i couldnt figure out how to delete this one.
> 
> ...



I appreciate your honesty Marissa, take care and stay safe.


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## Richard1955 (Jul 13, 2008)

Good luck to you, Marissa!


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## Mr. Mcneal (Jul 17, 2008)

Though it has been said before, if you are really asking if you should gain weight than only you can decide it, how much you put on should be how much you're comfortable with not how much we think. Know that you are very attractive just as you are now.

However, 

If you just want opinions based on my personal preference, I think you would look good with another 15-20 lbs.


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## bigirlover (Jul 17, 2008)

Dude, she's done



Mr. Mcneal said:


> Though it has been said before, if you are really asking if you should gain weight than only you can decide it, how much you put on should be how much you're comfortable with not how much we think. Know that you are very attractive just as you are now.
> 
> However,
> 
> If you just want opinions based on my personal preference, I think you would look good with another 15-20 lbs.


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## Waxwing (Jul 17, 2008)

Mr. Mcneal said:


> Though it has been said before, if you are really asking if you should gain weight than only you can decide it, how much you put on should be how much you're comfortable with not how much we think. Know that you are very attractive just as you are now.
> 
> However,
> 
> If you just want opinions based on my personal preference, I think you would look good with another 15-20 lbs.



Know what's fun? Reading the thread before you post.


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## Wagimawr (Jul 17, 2008)

Wagimawr said:


> R
> T
> F
> T
> ...


Seriously.


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## LJ Rock (Jul 17, 2008)

Waxwing said:


> Know what's fun? Reading the thread before you post.



Know whats funner? Somebody closing this thread, because thats just going to keep happening.


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