# Newbie with acceptance Issues



## cutiepie200 (Apr 7, 2014)

Hello everyone. I'm not really sure if I am posting on the correct board but I found this place from a friend and wanted to take a "leap" and introduce myself and explain why I'm here. 

I recently bumped into an old friend from high school and one day we were talking and he mentioned modeling to me. I did not nor do I think now that I have the body for modeling. I used to be thin all through high school and then life happened. I am 5'2 and currently weigh 198 pounds. I wear a 36F bra and size 16 jeans. Nowhere near what I would think a model would wear or weigh. My friend has encouraged me to at least post on here my thoughts and feelings and maybe get some feedback or input. I've been in a relationship where I've been told I'm fat, I need to lose weight. And that's from someone who should encourage me and love me for me. If they feel I need to lose weight at least tell me in a positive manner. My friend has been telling me the exact opposite. That my curves are found attractive by many and more then I would even imagine. But after so many years of being told certain things I just look in the mirror with disgust of the person I've become. One of my biggest issues are my stretch marks from my first child 3 years ago. 
I'm not fishing for compliments, but just trying to see and hear exactly what is out there. My friend has asked that I try and take a few test shots of things I wouldn't normally do and post them. I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing though. So that's why I wanted to post and introduce myself, maybe meet some nice people and see what they have to say on the matter. 

I hope everyone is having a great start to their week!


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## loopytheone (Apr 7, 2014)

Hey there and welcome to the board! The BBW board is a good place to start, it is generally just for us ladies and very accepting place. 

Also, hooray, we are height twins, I am 5'2 as well! You actually remind me a lot of myself in terms of your body. As far as modelling is concerned, anybody of any size can be an awesome model. A pretty face and ability to relax in front of the camera are important, not your body size or shape. 

I wish I could be surprised that you have been told by partners you should lose weight but sadly I have seen my own family members treated that way so I am not. All I can say is that I personally wouldn't waste a second of my time on somebody that thought I should lose weight. I don't have to change anything about myself to be awesome and worth loving and I think everybody deserves somebody that loves you just as you are. 

Your friend sounds awesome by the way, a really positive person who genuinely cares about you, you are lucky there! As for my start of the week I had a migraine earlier so not so great but that means it can only get better, right? :happy:


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## cutiepie200 (Apr 7, 2014)

Thank so much for the kind words and encouragement. How did you finally come to terms or accept the fact you were big or curvy?

I hope your migraine is gone now.


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## superodalisque (Apr 20, 2014)

take your time and don't do ANYTHING until you understand what it's all about for yourself. investigate intensively. do your research. be careful. let some time go by. you'll get a lot of encouragement and cheerleading to do things. when i was new i did too. right now i'm ever so glad i'm the type of person who waits and watches for a while first or i would be attached to things i don't philosophically support as a person in embarrassing ways. nothing you do, particularly online, ever goes away. definitely don't do anything until you've had a chance to actually be in the community and meet people and see how things are playing out for them for real. not saying it's the same thing but a lot of it reminds me of drugs and prostitution talk. everyone says things are great until you're around them enough to see what the real deal is. definitely don't trust what other newbs are saying. they don't know anymore than you do but that won't stop the from pushing you to do things. just hang out , take your time and make some real friends. there are a lot of great people around but as i anything else it takes some time to know exactly who they are. people who find you attractive don't always mean you well. sometimes they are good people. sometimes they just want to exploit you for sex money or some kind of weird emotional power, just the same as it is for thin women who people find attractive. always remember that indeed you are the same as any attractive thin woman. you might not know it yet but there are always going to be people who'll love what you look like. don't let the bad ones make you feel anxious or overly grateful.


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## SydneyScreams (Apr 20, 2014)

Once something is out on the internet, it's there for good. Make sure that you fully grasp how serious that is before you go any further. 

I'd love to tell you that internet modeling allows for an escape and helps build confidence, but sometimes that isn't the case. When I first started, I got more hateful comments than I knew how to handle. I've been internet stalked, harassed, bashed on, and bullied, and it took me a while to come to terms with the fact that the more you're on the internet, the more those things will happen. There ARE safe spaces that will provide endless encouragement and support, though. 

IF you decide to do it, have fun! Don't take the keyboard warriors who try to put you down serious. Seek out places that make you feel safe and accepted (like here!) and give those places your attention. 

After 6 years of internet modeling, I can honestly say that despite the negative that's out there...I LOVE what I do. I feel sexy and wanted. I meet so many new and exciting people, some of which have turned into my closest friends and lovers. 

Good luck with your decision


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## BountifulBeautyAbroad (Apr 24, 2014)

I'm a newbie too and I'm sort of in the same situation with acceptance issues. I'm not thinking of modeling though. I'm too shy for that. But I think it's great that you're comfortable enough to do consider doing it!  I'm just looking to join a fat positive community.


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