# How does one find a therapist who is size positive?



## wistful (Mar 26, 2008)

I figured the health board was the best fit for this question,so I'm posting my query here.I recently moved and I'm about to start a search for a therapist(cognitive/talk therapy) with whom I feel comfortable working with.It's already going to be tough enough finding someone who has a style/outlook on life that meshes well with my own *and* will take my insurance..when you add that they must be somewhat size positive..well then it gets even trickier!!


Unfortunately it's been my experience that therapists are just as prone to fat bigotry as any other group of people in this fat hating society we live in, so I'm concerned that I might have quite the search on my hands.While I don't expect nor need to find someone who is always fat positive all the time, I cannot work with a therapist who feels that I must be thin in order to be truly happy or mentally healthy.So has anyone had any experience in searching and finding a size positive therapist?? Any tips? While I'm looking forward to therapy,I'm really not looking forward to this search at all!


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## MsGreenLantern (Mar 27, 2008)

Sure, they are people too... but if they are well trained, and good at what they do, they should recognize body image issues, stress sources, and self esteem [good or bad] as an issue everyone experiences at one time or another. They should be unbiased, and able to really listen and help you out with whatever you need, sans the focus on weight if that isn't why you're there. I actually have had really good experiences with female therapists over male. They seem to consider the body image issues as more empowering. Its such a personal thing though picking any doctor or therapist. Just give one a try, and move on from there. If someone makes you uncomfortable, they won't help. Maybe that helped a bit?


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## QtPatooti (Mar 28, 2008)

Hi Wistful:
It can be difficult to find a good therapist. I have seen about five different counselors. The last one was the best. The first, met with me twice and said "nothing wrong with you". And said I didnt need further counseling.

I have a couple of suggestions. First do you have a primary care physician in your new town? If so you can ask for a referral and tell the primary care doctor exactly what you are looking for. 

Second, is what lead me to seeing my most recent counselor. I went to a psychiatrist that had a number of counselors working under her. The psychiatrist did a brief examination/interview with me and suggested one of her many counselors - and it turned out to be the right one for me. 

I also suggest that after meeting a few times with a new counselor and you dont feel a connection or feel uncomfortable - move on to another one. Find the right one for you.


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## SocialbFly (Mar 28, 2008)

Honestly, the older i get the more i ask...are you fat friendly...i have issues that are impacted on me because of my fat...not in spite of it...

so, you are paying for their service, i would ask before you go...if they are any sort of a good therapist they should know how they feel....

then, if you get someone you dont gel with...move on, get another, life is too short, and they are too expensive and can mess with your head to much, if they dont gel with you...

and most of all, dont forget to always be honest with your therapist, if they dont know what is really bothering you, they can't help...

good luck..


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## Risible (Mar 28, 2008)

Check out this thread that I recently stickied. I don't know if there are any therapists to be found through the link, but it's worth a look.


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## mergirl (Mar 28, 2008)

having had some experience of psychologocial therapys and having studied a range of them.. i would say to you that any c/b/t or psychotherapist worth being with would council you, size regardless. Although if you are a big chick the faux psychic in them will probably suggest some sort of deep rooted eating disorder. (this has happened to a few of my friends). 
though psychological therapy by its very nature is subjective, so no therapist can solve any problem you have but can help you find ways of solving yourself. 
in a session if you feel the conversation is being pushed towards weight issues you can turn it around and discuss other matters. 
it is you who is in control of your time with a therapist. YOU discuss the problems that are affecting you. 
and.. if you afre living in america i bet you are paying through the £$^^&* for "thier" time...
so make it YOUR time..
YOUR problems.. not "thier concieved and percieved you problems"
best of luck .. hope all goes well..
xx


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## Raqui (Apr 2, 2008)

The only advice I can give is being upfront. I am upfront with everyone. I ask this basic question to any doctor person i have to deal with.

I look directly into there eyes while I am seated. So they feel they are an authority figure. (Since I am so tall I am quite intimidating)

I then ask "Do you hate fat people?" or "Do you participate in Fat Hatred?"

By the look in their eye and there answer I can usually tell if they are an open person or not toward fat people. Hesistation earns big DOWN POINTS. a good look in the eyes give good points.

You should be able to get free consultations before you choose

Raqui


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