# Should I tell my boyfriend?



## LalaCity (Feb 4, 2009)

He doesn't know I'm secretly fat or that I'm ruining his social life.


Mwahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!











(I'm jus' playin' )


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## Maxx Awesome (Feb 4, 2009)

Tricky situation. I mean, if you tell him you're fat how do you think he'd react?
Would he be happy? Mad? Indifferent? Aroused? Filled with murderous rage?
Frankly, he should be ready to accept your fatness... (that sounds ALOT dirtier if you take it out of context...)


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## Cors (Feb 4, 2009)

OMG you're such a horrible person, how dare you! 

Poor, poor boyfriend!


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## imfree (Feb 4, 2009)

LalaCity said:


> He doesn't know I'm secretly fat or that I'm ruining his social life.
> 
> Mwahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!
> 
> (I'm jus' playin' )



Good stuff, LalaCity! Yah, I know I'll have to disclose
that, and the fact that I might even gain, to any
prospective girlfriends or prospective spouses, just
so they would know.


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## LalaCity (Feb 4, 2009)

Maxx Awesome said:


> Tricky situation. I mean, if you tell him you're fat how do you think he'd react?
> Would he be happy? Mad? Indifferent? Aroused? Filled with murderous rage?
> Frankly, he should be ready to accept your fatness... (that sounds ALOT dirtier if you take it out of context...)



I don't know. He might be angry with me for hiding it from him all this time. On the other hand, maybe he's starting to suspect something...it's hard to say. For example, the other day he picked up my size 18 panties off the floor and was like, "Whose are these?" And I was like, "They belong to the neighbor." I didn't have the heart to tell him.


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## Maxx Awesome (Feb 4, 2009)

LalaCity said:


> I don't know. He might be angry with me for hiding it from him all this time. On the other hand, maybe he's starting to suspect something...it's hard to say. For example, the other day he picked up my size 18 panties off the floor and was like, "Whose are these?" And I was like, "They belong to the neighbor." I didn't have the heart to tell him.



MAN UP! There's no real point in hiding it. I mean, the longer you try to hide it the harder it'll be for him to take when you actually tell him. You'll be all like, "Honey, I've been meaning to tell you... I'm fat." & he'll be all like, "What? For how long? Since when has this been going on?" & you'll be all like, "Well, since before we were even going out." & then he'll, like, totally flip & stuff & it'll be all like, OMG, such a _total_ 'mare!


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## LalaCity (Feb 4, 2009)

Maxx Awesome said:


> MAN UP! There's no real point in hiding it. I mean, the longer you try to hide it the harder it'll be for him to take when you actually tell him. You'll be all like, "Honey, I've been meaning to tell you... I'm fat." & he'll be all like, "What? For how long? Since when has this been going on?" & you'll be all like, "Well, since before we were even going out." & then he'll, like, totally flip & stuff & it'll be all like, OMG, such a _total_ 'mare!



It's going to devastate him. He thinks I'm thin and that he's having an A+ social experience.

Same thing happened when his best friend from high school finally told him he was black -- he was so shocked that he felt he couldn't trust him anymore. He was like, "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

I don't know...I'm starting to think my boyfriend might be kind of dumb. In fact I've been secretly going into MENSA chatrooms for stimulating conversations. I figure it's best not to tell him -- I don't want to cause him pain. I love him and I've made this choice, even though it sucks sometimes, lol.


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## Melian (Feb 4, 2009)

You need to tell him NOW.

The sex will be so much better when he learns that there is fat to touch. Don't deny him any longer.


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## LalaCity (Feb 4, 2009)

Melian said:


> You need to tell him NOW.
> 
> The sex will be so much better when he learns that there is fat to touch. Don't deny him any longer.



He also thinks I'm really tall and used to be an air traffic controller in Denmark. And I've been stealing his oxycontin too. He keeps blaming the pharmacy for not giving him a month's supply but it's really me. And everyday when I go off to my work as a waitress at Red Lobster he thinks I'm going to a job as Chief of Pediatrics at Cedars-Sinai medical center (I never told him that -- I don't know where he got it, actually). One time he even came into the Red Lobster and was like, "hey -- that waitress looks just like my thin girlfriend and then he laughed." I kinda just smiled nervously as I served him his shrimp basket. 

I don't know...I'm starting to think our relationship isn't totally as honest or open as I thought it was.


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## Maxx Awesome (Feb 4, 2009)

LalaCity said:


> It's going to devastate him. He thinks I'm thin and that he's having an A+ social experience.
> 
> Same thing happened when his best friend from high school finally told him he was black -- he was so shocked that he felt he couldn't trust him anymore. He was like, "Why didn't you tell me this before?"
> 
> I don't know...I'm starting to think my boyfriend might be kind of dumb. In fact I've been secretly going into MENSA chatrooms for stimulating conversations. I figure it's best not to tell him -- I don't want to cause him pain. I love him and I've made this choice, even though it sucks sometimes, lol.



I think he'll be more upset some day when he finds out by himself. I mean, even a dumb guy can piece all the clues together. Large-sized clothes, a big ass-groove in the couch, over-sized boobs, those sorts of things all add up. If you don't bring it up he'll probably confront you about it eventually & that'll hurt him more.


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## LalaCity (Feb 4, 2009)

Maxx Awesome said:


> I think he'll be more upset some day when he finds out by himself. I mean, even a dumb guy can piece all the clues together. Large-sized clothes, a big ass-groove in the couch, over-sized boobs, those sorts of things all add up. If you don't bring it up he'll probably confront you about it eventually & that'll hurt him more.



He thinks the big-ass groove in the couch was caused by a freak meteorological event, like some kind of asteroid. I spent the whole evening making a huge hole in the living room ceiling and spreading rock chunks all around just to cover up the lie. :doh: He was like, "Well at least you weren't hurt."

As far as the plus-size clothes and big boobs are concerned he has wondered why they look so big in the closet (the clothes not the boobs) but I told him that they get stretched out when they are in the dark because the fibers need light to keep their shape and that I shrink them again in the dryer before putting them back on. I told him this is how women's wear works.

My boyfriend sometimes gets this look on his face like maybe he's about to figure something out but then he just shrugs and goes back to his guild.


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## Maxx Awesome (Feb 4, 2009)

You may be in the clear for now, but I'm telling you little clues will add up. I wasn't aware that my last girlfriend was fat for a few months but then it hit me one day. The plus-size clothing, the fact that I'd say, "Hey, pass the Pringles" & when she did the tube was empty as she shovelled the last few into her mouth, whenever she got on top of me in bed I felt a large weight on my chest, the fact that she always ordered much more than me when we went to a restaurant. It was the little things that gave it away. She hid things pretty well, but she was a bit sloppy about it & I managed to piece it all together. I was open to accepting it, of course, but I was a bit hurt that she didn't tell me sooner.


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## LalaCity (Feb 4, 2009)

Thank you all for your replys. I have decided to take your guys advice and never, ever tell him.

Thanks.


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## imfree (Feb 4, 2009)

LalaCity said:


> Thank you all for your replys. I have decided to take your guys advice and never, ever tell him.
> 
> Thanks.



Good plan, no one will ever know if you don't tell.


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## Maxx Awesome (Feb 4, 2009)

LalaCity said:


> Thank you all for your replys. I have decided to take your guys advice and never, ever tell him.
> 
> Thanks.


Doomed! DOOMED! *deep breath* DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!:shocked:


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## Santaclear (Feb 4, 2009)

Wait, LaLa. I hope you read this in time, before you try anything rash.

By all means you should let him know. But do it by fax. That will soften the blow. :bow:


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## LalaCity (Feb 4, 2009)

Santaclear said:


> Wait, LaLa. I hope you read this in time, before you try anything rash.
> 
> By all means you should let him know. But do it by fax. That will soften the blow. :bow:



That's so amazing that you said that because I had already decided to not tell him by fax.

I tried to find the words to not tell him over the phone but that didn't work for some reason.


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## Lovelyone (Feb 4, 2009)

Santaclear said:


> Wait, LaLa. I hope you read this in time, before you try anything rash.
> 
> By all means you should let him know. But do it by fax. That will soften the blow. :bow:



I was thinking that she should just be blatant about it. For instance...take a picture of one of her fat rolls and photo shop in the words "IF you are a good little FA you might get to touch this, you lucky devil."


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## LalaCity (Feb 4, 2009)

Lovelyone said:


> I was thinking that she should just be blatant about it. For instance...take a picture of one of her fat rolls and photo shop in the words "IF you are a good little FA you might get to touch this, you lucky devil."



I actually tried that. I took a photo of my fat and sent it to him and said now be a good FA. He thought that FA stood for flan addiction or something and that my fat was a picture of flan and not my fat. He hates flan so that was a joke.


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## frankman (Feb 4, 2009)

LalaCity said:


> That's so amazing that you said that because I had already decided to not tell him by fax.
> 
> I tried to find the words to not tell him over the phone but that didn't work for some reason.



Can't you just not text him? I mean, it seems to me like you don't want to not tell him enough to be entirely convincing.

I think it would be a good idea to tell him though. My parents kept the knowledge that I was fat from me until the day I turned 15. It was the moment a sales lady at the Hot Topic told me (my parents were making shushing noises the entire time, and flared their nostrils, but I guess the sales lady was either determined or slightly dense) that the three X's in front of the L were not to be read as kisses, that I made a vow to the moon and stars, that if my future girlfriend would ever lie about her size, I'd be at least slightly miffed. At the very least.

BUT if you're adamant on not telling him, perhaps you could just try not to be fat around him, see how that works for you.


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## LalaCity (Feb 4, 2009)

frankman said:


> Can't you just not text him? I mean, it seems to me like you don't want to not tell him enough to be entirely convincing.
> 
> I think it would be a good idea to tell him though. My parents kept the knowledge that I was fat from me until the day I turned 15. It was the moment a sales lady at the Hot Topic told me (my parents were making shushing noises the entire time, and flared their nostrils, but I guess the sales lady was either determined or slightly dense) that the three X's in front of the L were not to be read as kisses, that I made a vow to the moon and stars, that if my future girlfriend would ever lie about her size, I'd be at least slightly miffed. At the very least.
> 
> BUT if you're adamant on not telling him, perhaps you could just try not to be fat around him, see how that works for you.



I tried not texting him but he never responded.

I know what you are talking about. My parents never told me that I was Native American. They also never told me that I was NOT Native American. They never even mentioned it all ,actually, so I had no idea that they were not withholding the non-news of my non-Native American ancestry from me and you can imagine my shock when I found out that I was not. And I had been building up this false identity the whole time as someone who didn't realize that she was Native American, or not. That's why I think honesty is so important and why I have decided to not tell my boyfriend anything.


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## Your Plump Princess (Feb 4, 2009)

LalaCity said:


> I don't know. He might be angry with me for hiding it from him all this time. On the other hand, maybe he's starting to suspect something...it's hard to say. For example, the other day he picked up my size 18 panties off the floor and was like, "Whose are these?" And I was like, "They belong to the neighbor." I didn't have the heart to tell him.


OH. GOOD COVER. NOW, Not only are you secretly fat, he thinks your having an affair with the fat neighbor!


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## moore2me (Feb 5, 2009)

Dear Lala,

Consider this - remember the "study" that was released out of Louisiana last week about fat being contagious? Maybe your boyfriend has caught the "bug" and is wondering who gave it to him. 

Of course, you could always use the classic male excuse, the best defense is a good offense, and accuse him of giving you the "fat bug" first. If you play your cards right, your should be able to parlay this little scenario into a nice little Valentine's "guilt" present from him to you. Perhaps gold or chocolate?


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## LalaCity (Feb 5, 2009)

Your Plump Princess said:


> OH. GOOD COVER. NOW, Not only are you secretly fat, he thinks your having an affair with the fat neighbor!



And the sad thing is we live above a Mexican restaurant/butchery in a commercial area of town and we have no neighbors. But my boyfriend forgot about that.



moore2me said:


> If you play your cards right, your should be able to parlay this little scenario into a nice little Valentine's "guilt" present from him to you. Perhaps gold or chocolate?



I am hoping for chocolate, of course. We will see how things go. I have been thinking very hard about finding just the right words to not say when I don't talk to him. I am really wracking my brain.


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## imfree (Feb 5, 2009)

moore2me said:


> Dear Lala,
> 
> Consider this - remember the "study" that was released out of Louisiana last week about fat being contagious? Maybe your boyfriend has caught the "bug" and is wondering who gave it to him.
> 
> Of course, you could always use the classic male excuse, the best defense is a good offense, and accuse him of giving you the "fat bug" first. If you play your cards right, your should be able to parlay this little scenario into a nice little Valentine's "guilt" present from him to you. Perhaps gold or chocolate?



Good thinking, Moore2Me, your Rep is in the mail.:bow:


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## Violet_Beauregard (Feb 5, 2009)

*I have to say... this thread is PRICELESS!!!! I have not laughed this much in months!!!! LOLOL Seriously... the dialogue is PERFECTION!!! LOLOL

That said....

carry on...* 


:eat1:


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## Oirish (Feb 5, 2009)

You just have to untie the corset and say "Tadaaaaa! And how about a round of applause for that disappearing waistline trick?"


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## frankman (Feb 5, 2009)

LalaCity said:


> And the sad thing is we live above a Mexican restaurant/butchery in a commercial area of town and we have no neighbors. But my boyfriend forgot about that.
> 
> I am hoping for chocolate, of course. We will see how things go. I have been thinking very hard about finding just the right words to not say when I don't talk to him. I am really wracking my brain.



Well, not to be racist of course, but aren't Mexicans the best excuse neighbors ever? Your boyfriend seems like a level-headed person: he didn't forget, he understands that fake Mexican neighbors have a tendency to leave their larger underwear behind.

And back on the subject of not talking to him: I seriously thought you not-so-native-Americans were a lot braver. Perhaps you should just try and not manning up.


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## frankman (Feb 5, 2009)

Violet_Beauregard said:


> *I have to say... this thread is PRICELESS!!!! I have not laughed this much in months!!!! LOLOL Seriously... the dialogue is PERFECTION!!! LOLOL
> 
> That said....
> 
> ...



Isn't it though? It's like the Cosmo's section where people send in their problems, only in this case they're answered by Franz Kafka.


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## Fascinita (Feb 5, 2009)

I recommend you spend an hour taking pictures of the "evidence" (i.e. you in your underwear, letting the fat hang out) and not send the photos in an e-mail to him. Depending on how much he doesn't notice, your problem may or may not be solved.


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## Santaclear (Feb 5, 2009)

LaLa, this is a farce. You're only kidding yourself. The longer you put off not telling him, the longer he'll have to wait to not hear the truth and an even longer time it'll be before his social life starts to not heal. You understand? Think of others.


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## imfree (Feb 5, 2009)

Santaclear said:


> LaLa, this is a farce. You're only kidding yourself. The longer you put off not telling him, the longer he'll have to wait to not hear the truth and an even longer time it'll be before his social life starts to not heal. You understand? Think of others.



Oh, the humanity!!!, SantaClear, wouldn't it be great if we
couldn't just identify fat people just by looking at them. I
didn't even know I was fat, myself, until a few people told
me I was! Now I wish I had asked them how they were able
to tell I was fat. 5X men's bikini?, maybe they could tell 
that way.


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## moore2me (Feb 5, 2009)

LalaCity said:


> And the sad thing is we live above a Mexican restaurant/butchery in a commercial area of town and we have no neighbors. But my boyfriend forgot about that.
> 
> I am hoping for chocolate, of course. We will see how things go. I have been thinking very hard about finding just the right words to not say when I don't talk to him. I am really wracking my brain.



Lala, 

Again girlfriend, I feel your pain. Not talking to your significant other is vexing when you have so much baggage between the two of you to talk about. As usual, I have a few suggestions:

- Train a parrot to speak for you. The problem here is that it may take a while, but once the bird picks up a phrase, he never forgets it. I recommend using a cockateil. (If they don't learn to talk, they make an excellent exotic version of spicy chicken fried rice.), or

- As suggested by OPs, get one of your Mexican neighbors to speak on your behalf and discuss ths issue with boyfriend. (The problem here is that many traditional Mexican families are strict Catholic and the two conversationalists may decide that you need to have an exorcism. If so, you probably will have to just play along with them. It will only take a couple of hours anyway and you will meet some interesting people and a few legions of Satan.), or

- You can write your thoughts down and leave frank but simple words for boyfriend to read discussing your problems with the fat thingy. (I assume here that BF can read, right?) It wouldn't hurt to write out your message on Hooter's placemats too. That way you know he'll look at them closely.






imfree said:


> Oh, the humanity!!!, SantaClear, wouldn't it be great if we
> couldn't just identify fat people just by looking at them. I
> didn't even know I was fat, myself, until a few people told
> me I was! Now I wish I had asked them how they were able
> ...



Edgar, 

Are you still wearing that out of style men's bikini? It's time to discard that relic and go with what the man about town is wearing now - the slingshot thong. One is modeled below by Borat. I think it is very slimming, don't you? And it should send a clear message to others on the beach that the wearer is a savy fashionista and not to be trifled with. 

View attachment borat-20060607053153666-000.jpg


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## imfree (Feb 5, 2009)

moore2me said:


> ...............snipped.............
> 
> Edgar,
> 
> Are you still wearing that out of style men's bikini? It's time to discard that relic and go with what the man about town is wearing now - the slingshot thong. One is modeled below by Borat. I think it is very slimming, don't you? And it should send a clear message to others on the beach that the wearer is a savy fashionista and not to be trifled with.



Sorry, Moore2Me, I fail to see how that miserably small thong could
adequately cover my 50 liter belly. I'm afraid the tried n true bikini
has to be it. Damn!, they make the sexiest underwear,too because 
they fit snugly and caress my increasingly ample male butt. I can
post pix if u plz.


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## mergirl (Feb 5, 2009)

You know, ive been hiding the fact that i'm not fat from my girlfriend for the last year and to be honest i think deep down she suspects. I am tired of living a lie too.. i feel for you i really do.. I always think its best to let things fester, hide all feelings, and never talk to your partner.. good luck whatever you decide to do. Remember, you are not a monster unless you are in which case thats ok too. So to sum it up you either are or are not a monster and do not tell anyone anything ever again.. its the only way!!


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## Lovelyone (Feb 5, 2009)

I have to caution you. When I told my bf that I was fat, his eyes glazed over and he started to drool as if he were looking into the window of a pastry shop. I wonder if that could be researched? I mean you say the word fat and wait to see if they have a reaction, kinda like training Pavlov's dogs. 
Lets try....

fat fat fat fat fat fat fat


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## mergirl (Feb 5, 2009)

Lovelyone said:


> I have to caution you. When I told my bf that I was fat, his eyes glazed over and he started to drool as if he were looking into the window of a pastry shop. I wonder if that could be researched? I mean you say the word fat and wait to see if they have a reaction, kinda like training Pavlov's dogs.
> Lets try....
> 
> fat fat fat fat fat fat fat


Yes!! Great idea. Conditioning! Though, we need to make sure we dont get the trials mixed up and gear people away from big women.. Like every time a guy cuddles a big woman, someone hits a loud gong behind him, makes him cry and he then assossiates big women with a fear reaction.. We must chose our scientists carefully..using only food, big women and bells. I would write up my hypothesus but there is green smoke eminating from my test tubes..


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## LalaCity (Feb 5, 2009)

Hey folks, I deeply appreciate all the advice you have given me about how to not talk to my boyfriend about not being thin.

Last night I sat down with him and we didn't have a deep, heartfelt discussion. It was really emotional not getting anything off my chest. 

Unfortunately, he still doesn't know I'm fat but I just don't know what not to do about it.

Again, thanks.


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## LalaCity (Feb 5, 2009)

mergirl said:


> every time a guy cuddles a big woman, someone hits a loud gong behind him, makes him cry and he then assossiates big women with a fear reaction.



Yes I agree.


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## LalaCity (Feb 5, 2009)

And I just wanted to say that I am thinking over the whole Mexican parrot thing.

That reminds me my boyfriend had a pet parrot once, but he thought it was a goldfish. He kept immersing it in a small bowl filled with water but it kept biting him. One day he decided to set it free and flush it down the toilet.That didn't work very well. When he got out of the hospital he vowed never to have a pet fish again.


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## BTB (Feb 5, 2009)

Tell him the truths in little bits so gets the impression you are gaining and won't be too shocked when the truth becomes clear to him.


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## Maxx Awesome (Feb 5, 2009)

LalaCity said:


> Hey folks, I deeply appreciate all the advice you have given me about how to not talk to my boyfriend about not being thin.
> 
> Last night I sat down with him and we didn't have a deep, heartfelt discussion. It was really emotional not getting anything off my chest.
> 
> ...



Not talking about it is the first step to acceptance.


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## LalaCity (Feb 5, 2009)

I have decided instead of not telling him outright to buy him this carnivorous plant kit...it takes a few months to grow them which buys me some time.


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## frankman (Feb 5, 2009)

LalaCity said:


> I have decided instead of not telling him outright to buy him this carnivorous plant kit...it takes a few months to grow them which buys me some time.



I seem quite unable to rep you. Curses to whoever thought of _that_ system! So just consider this a rep by proxy.


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## LalaCity (Feb 5, 2009)

frankman said:


> I seem quite unable to rep you. Curses to whoever thought of _that_ system! So just consider this a rep by proxy.



I know it is a brilliant plan is it not.


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## moore2me (Feb 5, 2009)

LalaCity said:


> I know it is a brilliant plan is it not.



Brilliant plans are so boring. I much prefer the thrill of an ill-conceived plan and the train-wreck that results from putting the plan in motion. Think of it as trying to rob the ticket collection business office during a WWF Death Match.


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## imfree (Feb 5, 2009)

This lampoon of a sister thread should set a precedent for a 
new Dimmer tradition, every thread that causes contention
should be lampooned in a parody thread to give everyone
a place to let loose and have a little fun! Kudo's to LalaCity
for creating this one!:bow:


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## daddyoh70 (Feb 5, 2009)

LalaCity said:


> Thank you all for your replys. I have decided to take your guys advice and never, ever tell him.
> 
> Thanks.



Here are my thoughts. Get him to marry you first. Then on your honeymoon, break the news to him. That way, if he tries to divorce you, you still get to keep half his shit. And while he's passed out from the shock of you being fat, have a friend take pics of you and him in compromising positions. Then you can email the pics to all his friends and they will make fun of him for marrying a fat chick!!! Just my $.02.
Awesome thread BTW. :bow:


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## Les Toil (Feb 6, 2009)

LaLa, I just talked to your boyfriend. He told me he doesn't know how to break the news to you that he's an FA out of fear that such an announcement will destroy YOUR social and family life.

You guys need to twolk.


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## frankman (Feb 6, 2009)

daddyoh70 said:


> Here are my thoughts. Get him to marry you first. Then on your honeymoon, break the news to him. That way, if he tries to divorce you, you still get to keep half his shit. And while he's passed out from the shock of you being fat, have a friend take pics of you and him in compromising positions. Then you can email the pics to all his friends and they will make fun of him for marrying a fat chick!!! Just my $.02.
> Awesome thread BTW. :bow:



This must be the meanest, nastiest, most awful thing people should be able to think of....

AWESOME!!!


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## moore2me (Feb 6, 2009)

daddyoh70 said:


> Here are my thoughts. Get him to marry you first. Then on your honeymoon, break the news to him. That way, if he tries to divorce you, you still get to keep half his shit. And while he's passed out from the shock of you being fat, have a friend take pics of you and him in compromising positions. Then you can email the pics to all his friends and they will make fun of him for marrying a fat chick!!! Just my $.02.
> Awesome thread BTW. :bow:



I like your idea too, Daddyoh70. The pictures would also come in useful as art to put on holiday cards to mail greetings to friends (if the happy couple did not divorce). Lala could just photoshop different props and add them for upcoming holidays:

St. Patricks Day - have boyfriend (now hubby) wear shamrock pasties. 

4th of July - put on a red, white, and blue hat and hold a lit sparkler.

Halloween - One word - pumpkinhead.

Thanksgiving - Make a fan of fake turkey feathers and attach it to the most obvious behind in the foreground. 

(I do so love artsy/crafty stuff.)


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## TraciJo67 (Feb 6, 2009)

Falalalalala, this thread has me in stitches. Each response, more hysterically funny than the last. FFS, I can't REP you (coz I sent you that gratuitious nudity REP a few days ago) so I'm going to stampede out of this thread and REP everyone who posted sympathetic responses to Mr. Anonymous "I settled for my skinny wife" in the "boyfriend" thread and then get right back to you. That OK? 






Now settling back to watch how many people rush to view your user profile, looking for the fabled nudie pics


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## LalaCity (Feb 6, 2009)

daddyoh70 said:


> Here are my thoughts. Get him to marry you first. Then on your honeymoon, break the news to him. That way, if he tries to divorce you, you still get to keep half his shit. And while he's passed out from the shock of you being fat, have a friend take pics of you and him in compromising positions. Then you can email the pics to all his friends and they will make fun of him for marrying a fat chick!!! Just my $.02.
> Awesome thread BTW. :bow:



That is a great idea and I'm putting into effect. Blackmail him into accepting my fatness -- I can't believe I never thought of that!

I have learned so much about size acceptance. Thank you. :bow:


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## Fascinita (Feb 6, 2009)

Say, just how fat are you, anyway? :eat1::eat2::eat2::bounce::blush:


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## LalaCity (Feb 6, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> Say, just how fat are you, anyway? :eat1::eat2::eat2::bounce::blush:



lol-- fat enough for my boyfriend not to notice just how incredibly fat I am!:eat1::eat1::eat1::eat1:


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## daddyoh70 (Feb 6, 2009)

LalaCity said:


> That is a great idea and I'm putting into effect. Blackmail him into accepting my fatness -- I can't believe I never thought of that!
> 
> I have learned so much about size acceptance. Thank you. :bow:



I can't believe I came into this thread 3 pages deep and no one had suggested it


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## Maxx Awesome (Feb 7, 2009)

moore2me said:


> Brilliant plans are so boring. I much prefer the thrill of an ill-conceived plan and the train-wreck that results from putting the plan in motion. Think of it as trying to rob the ticket collection business office during a WWF Death Match.


World Wildlife Fund Death Match?


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## moore2me (Feb 7, 2009)

LalaCity said:


> That is a great idea and I'm putting into effect. Blackmail him into accepting my fatness -- I can't believe I never thought of that!
> 
> I have learned so much about size acceptance. Thank you. :bow:



One word of caution tho, Lala - and this came to me last night. I was reading
the US Tax Codes Revisions for 2008 Filing Deadlines. It clearly states that any income acquired by blackmail or other nefarious means (selling pelts of endangered animals or conducting auctions to sell organs for transplant) should be declared as income on your 2008 returns. So don't forget. 



Maxx Awesome said:


> World Wildlife Fund Death Match?




Maxx, 

You're right about the Panda tag team. They are a devious bunch. My mom always said, "Never trust anything that looks like a teddy bear." I hear they whacked their last opponents with a boat paddle wrapped in barbed wire. The wire had been soaked in poison tree frog venom. Wild and crazy guys they are.


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## frankman (Feb 7, 2009)

moore2me said:


> Maxx,
> 
> You're right about the Panda tag team. They are a devious bunch. My mom always said, "Never trust anything that looks like a teddy bear." I hear they whacked their last opponents with a boat paddle wrapped in barbed wire. The wire had been soaked in poison tree frog venom. Wild and crazy guys they are.



Yeah, and they drink all your booze when you invite them for poker. They cheat and make passes at your girlfriend/wife. It's incredibly unsettling.

So one day I said: no more. Enough! I've had it with your panda antics. This is the last time you hit someone with a poisoned 'n barbed boat paddle. They just laughed at me. Fuzzy bastards.

I had the last laugh though: I convinced a large part of the Eastern population that panda bones can cure rheumatism.


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## olwen (Feb 7, 2009)

ROTFL

You guys are all evil rotten to the core.  

Please do carry on.


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## Fascinita (Feb 7, 2009)

LalaCity said:


> lol-- fat enough for my boyfriend not to notice just how incredibly fat I am!:eat1::eat1:



OMG! You should go ahead and not tell him all this, on the double!! :eat2::eat2::eat2::eat2::eat2:


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## TraciJo67 (Feb 8, 2010)

So Falala ... have you told your boyfriend yet?


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## Paquito (Feb 8, 2010)

Here's what you do. You need to make him immobile. Feed him Mexicans and parrots: they've very fattening. Then while he's busy finishing off a bucket of fried Mexicano legs, thighs, and breasts, you break the news. You tear off all of those corsets, remove the non-powder you put on your face to hide your non-Native American-ness, you lay out all of your tent-size knickers. Then, when he tries to confront you about your fatness,:

he can't move, so it's not like he can do anything about it.
you say that you gave him liposuction in his sleep, then injected the fat into your own body, as a token of affection.

Everybody doesn't not win sometimes.


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## CleverBomb (Feb 8, 2010)

TraciJo67 said:


> So Falala ... have you told your boyfriend yet?


I wish LaLa City would come back.
She was pretty darn cool. 

-Rusty


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## mergirl (Feb 9, 2010)

CleverBomb said:


> I wish LaLa City would come back.
> She was pretty darn cool.
> 
> -Rusty


I wish she would too. I thought she was great. If she is just pissed off at here does anyone know how to get in touch with her -If so we could direct her to facebook, cause i know lots of people would love to see her. 
Plus i really do want to know if her boyfriend has found out yet that she is fat.. it has been worrying me for a while.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 9, 2010)

I'm betting that Lala's bf looked in her browsing history, saw Dims and confronted her about it all. She probably had to promise him to never come back here 

Lala's probably more financially stable as long as her bf doesn't let other people know about her secret fatish problem.


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## LalaCity (Feb 10, 2011)

TraciJo67 said:


> So Falala ... have you told your boyfriend yet?



I did finally tell him, TJ...but he refused to believe me. He said I fulfilled all his fantasies of the Playboy Playmates he grew up lusting after. So I'm stuck wearing the bustier and hot pants whenever we go to the opera. It feels weird.


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## LalaCity (Feb 10, 2011)

Oh, and thanks to all of you who wished I would come back during my li'l hiatus. I spent that time gaining weight in the hope that my bf would finally figure out that I'm fat...after another thirty lbs gained he looked at me and said that he loves how skinny I've gotten.


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## imfree (Feb 10, 2011)

LalaCity said:


> Oh, and thanks to all of you who wished I would come back during my li'l hiatus. I spent that time gaining weight in the hope that my bf would finally figure out that I'm fat...after another thirty lbs gained he looked at me and said that he loves how skinny I've gotten.



Ha!, well your boyfriend never figured out that you're fat? Ya' know?, at somewhere over 400 lbs, I'm pretty fat, myself, and it wouldn't bother me one bit if there wasn't even one person on Earth who could tell if another person was fat! The boyfriend sounds alright to me.


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## frankman (Feb 10, 2011)

Man, I wish Lara would come back.


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## OneWickedAngel (Feb 10, 2011)

subscribing to the hilarity


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## CastingPearls (Feb 10, 2011)

Who is this Lara everyone is speaking of? Is she fat?


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## Paquito (Feb 10, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> Who is this Lara everyone is speaking of? Is she fat?



I hope not, or else I can't associate with her.


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## OneWickedAngel (Feb 10, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> Who is this Lara everyone is speaking of? Is she fat?



Worse! I heard she eats croissants _while riding public transportation_.


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## imfree (Feb 10, 2011)

OneWickedAngel said:


> Worse! I heard she eats croissants _while riding public transportation_.



Worse yet, he/she(not known) is the troll who wrote that thread.


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## frankman (Feb 10, 2011)

OneWickedAngel said:


> Worse! I heard she eats croissants _while riding public transportation_.



Aw, that's not fair. She ate those croissants for science, SCIENCE! 

I forget, did a croissant fall in the healthy or unhealthy category?


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## imfree (Feb 10, 2011)

frankman said:


> Aw, that's not fair. She ate those croissants for science, SCIENCE!
> 
> I forget, did a croissant fall in the healthy or unhealthy category?



It depends, if a fat person is eating it, then they're considered unhealthy. (SnarkFont)If a fat person eats at all, it's considered either unhealthy or gluttony. Fat people are expected to behave stereotypically.


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## mossystate (Feb 10, 2011)

If this Lara person human perhaps woman does not come back, I will be forced to place her on my ignore list.


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## LalaCity (Feb 12, 2011)

Had to take time off to diet since my boyfriend loves me being so thin. I got all the way down to a zero and now he's complaining that I'm getting a little chunky.

So problem still unsolved.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 13, 2011)

Have you tried dressing unilaterally so he won't notice? Black is very slimming.

I wish I had met you when you were a size 0- I'm sure you were a fascinating person back then......


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