# what do you think is better shape for women



## Moyseku (Jun 21, 2006)

what body shape do you prefer for a girl to grow and why?????

a) Pear, with lots of leg rolls, like Theiglor
b) Apple, but wit a very big belly, like Betsy
c) Hourglass, with everithing big and sexy, like Heather


i am curious, and personally i like them all, honestly while bigger the better

what do you think feeders and Fa´s :bow:


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## Coop (Jun 21, 2006)

Pear shaped, smooth body like Mandy Blake ^_^ She's so cute and fluffy!


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## eightyseven (Jun 21, 2006)

Always an intriguing question... and I can't even point to an answer for myself. If you're looking for a general concensus on what FA's around here think of each body type, there are a BUNCH of old (and even not so old) threads that deal with this same topic... I'm sure that's what you're looking for! Hope this helps


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## MisticalMisty (Jun 21, 2006)

Why does one have to be better than the other? Are you saying that a woman with the non-popular body shape is any less beautiful and attractive than a person with the popular shape?

I seriously hate threads like these....I swear guys are sometimes insensitive to the women around them.

You are allowed your preferences..but don't make it into an open popularity contest..


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## moonvine (Jun 21, 2006)

MisticalMisty said:


> Why does one have to be better than the other?




Because to some guys we are not people. We are walking sacks of fat. And walking sacks of fat don't get upset if one shape of sack is preferred over another.


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## The Kid (Jun 21, 2006)

MisticalMisty said:


> Why does one have to be better than the other? Are you saying that a woman with the non-popular body shape is any less beautiful and attractive than a person with the popular shape?
> 
> I seriously hate threads like these....I swear guys are sometimes insensitive to the women around them.
> 
> You are allowed your preferences..but don't make it into an open popularity contest..



Some people like different types of bodies (that is why this site was created). 

Maybe to some men one body type IS more attractive to him than the other. If a girl told me she only liked skinny guys would I start complaining and saying, "Oh, so you don't think every person is attractive?" No, I wouldn't, because the answer is clearly no, she does not.

You say they're allowed their preferences yet when they share them they're suddenly treating women as objects, and you're angry that they are only attracted to certain looks.

I don't see anything negative in what has been said by the guys about what turned them on.

But maybe I'm wrong, I am just a guy you know.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jun 21, 2006)

Stating your preference is different from picking which is "best" or "prettiest" and creating a poll. I'd feel pretty pissed if everyone on this site voted blondes were better lays. Liking blondes or apples is one thing. Isolating people is another.


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## The Kid (Jun 21, 2006)

I mean nothing personal to either of you ladies but I disagree with you. It still stands that a preference IS picking which is best or prettiest. That's why you prefer it, you like it better than the other choices out there.


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## Totmacher (Jun 21, 2006)

Why is it _every single time_ someone posts a poll about what people like it incites the same arguement? Couldn't the issue have been resolved somehow by now? I propose we get a standard disclaimor macro for polls. Something along the lines of,
"This is an informal poll is for entertainment purposes only. The opinions expressed and statistics obtained herein do not necessarily reflect the beliefs of the management, the feelings of the community at large, or reality. The results of this informal poll in no way provide evidence that:
1) Any respondee harbors extreme distaste of the options he or she did not choose or is exclusively devoted to his or her response.
2) Any respondee is incapable of perceiving women beyond the options offered in the poll.
3) You are ugly and worthless because your characteristics aren't winning the poll...etc. etc. etc.


This poll is not legally binding and is not officially licensed nor endorsed by Dimensions, their ISP, your ISP, Microsft, Apple Computer, or Linus Torvalds. This poll may cause undue frustration, eyestrain, and various sexual side affects. If you experience these or any other symptoms discontinue reading of this poll. Use of this poll while under the influence of alchohol or psychotrophic substances is contraindicated. Consult your physician before taking up any diet and/or exercise program. Drink plenty of fluids.
"


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## mossystate (Jun 21, 2006)

Kid..did you even READ the choices in TSL poll?...*L*

It is one thing to have preferences...It is quite another to talk about them out here with little or no TACT!....oy vey Maria!


To any woman(or man) who finds these popularity contests to be tacky...just make notes of who says what...*W*...I do...even when I 'come out on top',I prefer that people not be made to feel like outsiders..(well, some people I don't care about..lol)

The Kid...also, more women than men post pictures for all to see...another way for males to be the customer in the candy shop..and not the sweets.


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## Boteroesque Babe (Jun 21, 2006)

Hold up, Folks. 

I think perhaps the unfortunate wording of the thread title is cause for the bulk of the umbrage here, and can likely be attributed to the fact that our Chilean friend may not have as great a command of the English language as the ladies taking offense obviously do.

Moyseku, the word "better" is a descriptor not politely applied to people or their physical attributes. I'm guessing you instead meant ones' personal preference, right?

Such threads have always been and will always be here. Take part in them, or don't, but aside from that one word, I think this gentleman's heart is in the right place.

Group hug?


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## lipmixgirl (Jun 21, 2006)

but i maintain - the apples always get the shaft! who's with me?!?!?!?!

the big apple has spoken...

::exeunt:: :bow:


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## Totmacher (Jun 21, 2006)

Is that the royal plural or are you now your own entourage?


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## Still a Skye fan (Jun 21, 2006)

Moyseku said:


> what body shape do you prefer for a girl to grow and why?????
> 
> a) Pear, with lots of leg rolls, like Theiglor
> b) Apple, but wit a very big belly, like Betsy
> ...




Whatever shape they happen to be is fine with me. 

Who the woman is, interests me more.


Dennis


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## elggij (Jun 21, 2006)

I like a woman who is soft and flabby and carries most of her weight in her boobs and belly.


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## Fuzzy (Jun 21, 2006)

Round. Round is a shape...*nod nod* Right?


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## AnnMarie (Jun 21, 2006)

Boteroesque Babe said:


> Hold up, Folks.
> 
> I think perhaps the unfortunate wording of the thread title is cause for the bulk of the umbrage here, and can likely be attributed to the fact that our Chilean friend may not have as great a command of the English language as the ladies taking offense obviously do.
> 
> ...



Thank you.


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## gangstadawg (Jun 21, 2006)

Moyseku said:


> what body shape do you prefer for a girl to grow and why?????
> 
> a) Pear, with lots of leg rolls, like Theiglor
> b) Apple, but wit a very big belly, like Betsy
> ...


pear or hourglass. in some cases i like apples but only if she is big breasted because i hate it when a bbw is ALL belly and nothing else.


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## Michelle (Jun 21, 2006)

The weight board is for people to come and discuss stuff like this without being harranged about it. If this sort of stuff bothers some people, then it's best if those people don't read this board. We all have preferences about certain things, and most of us have preferences about what is attractive. If this was posted on the Main Board or in Hyde Park, then it would be open season.


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## MisticalMisty (Jun 21, 2006)

I'm glad Casey understood what I was talking about..

I realize what this board is for and I'm all for it..I'm a fat girl that likes hearing guys talk about liking fat..BUT

You have to remember that a lot of girls and guys that read this forum are new to fat acceptance. How would you feel if you were new to the issue and saw this type of post and a majority of guys..are saying..Hey..I like girls with big bottoms and you happen to be an apple?

To someone who was lacking confidence..or struggling with how they are perceived by others..I imagine those comments would have a negative effect on them. I'm just saying it doesn't need to be about one shape being better..or not..they are different..explore their difference..celebrate them even..but don't try to declare one body shape is better than another. Someone will feel left out..and you can't say it won't happen..it did when someone brought up the size of bbws..and a majority of the people were posting how they would rather have a bbw or a midsize bbw..a lot of people's feelings were hurt because of it.

That's why I posted what I did..


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## Frogman (Jun 21, 2006)

I suppose I prefer the "exagerrated female features" - i.e. pear/hourglass shape--wider butts, bigger breasts relative to stomach, smaller overall. I prefer that shape because it is very feminine. In the same fashion, I would assume that the majority of (FFA) women prefer "exagerrated male features" - i.e. more of an apple shape--thinner butts, larger stomach relative to breasts, bigger overall.


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Jun 22, 2006)

Hourglass like Heather


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## HassanChop (Jun 22, 2006)

The Kid said:


> I mean nothing personal to either of you ladies but I disagree with you. It still stands that a preference IS picking which is best or prettiest. That's why you prefer it, you like it better than the other choices out there.




Everyone has a preference in everything. I like coffee ice cream better than chocolate. So I ignore chocolate ice cream. But I know someone else will like it, so I don't feel so bad...Maybe men like to make 'What's Best' lists because it gives a sense of order and helps us feel like we're in control. Or it could just be because we're visually fixated robots with no control over our impulses. Probably the former.......


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## fatlane (Jun 22, 2006)

Large. I like large. Best damn shape ever is large.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jun 22, 2006)

The Kid said:


> I mean nothing personal to either of you ladies but I disagree with you. It still stands that a preference IS picking which is best or prettiest. That's why you prefer it, you like it better than the other choices out there.



Okay, this is what BBWs of this board have to tolerate from FAs:

"WAH! We don't feel included because all you do is criticize us! Just because we're not fat women doesn't mean we don't have something to contribute! You can't dismiss us and treat us like commodities!"

"Okay, what's the hottest shape for BBWs to have? I wish there were more apply/peary/hourglassy goodness to go around here! Who's with me?" 

See where that bugs some women here?

I'll admit, I think some features are nicer, but it's not nice for someone like me to say, "A man better be hot and have a lot of money to get with me, and he better be built like Vince Vaughn!"

"Best" is subjective. Why are we trying to make beauty an objective thing? The point of fat acceptance is that a body can be fat and beautiful, not that fat is best, especially if it's in 6000 lb form.


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## ripley (Jun 22, 2006)

What strikes me is all the "like Teighlor" and "like Heather" stuff. You can say "I like pear shapes better than apple shapes" all you want, but what you're really saying is that you like hot BBW models.

We everyday BBWs, whether pear, hourglass, or apple...well, we just don't measure up. 

Perhaps you should just skip the middle man (and avoid all this arguing) and have a poll asking who is the hotter paysite model.


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## Santaclear (Jun 22, 2006)

I prefer girls with a giant nose like in Ripley's avatar photo.


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## Santaclear (Jun 22, 2006)

I also like women pitted or prune-shaped.


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## Santaclear (Jun 22, 2006)

Also I prefer a REAL hourglass over a woman shaped like one. Why settle? 

View attachment Hourglass.jpg


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## Santaclear (Jun 22, 2006)

P.S. Moyseku, I like all the shapes.


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## saucywench (Jun 22, 2006)

grey1969 said:


> Of course Casey knew ....


You've got some serious issues of your own there, grey. You're a veritable ticking timebomb. I hope like hell you don't own any guns.


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## Jes (Jun 22, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Stating your preference is different from picking which is "best" or "prettiest" and creating a poll. I'd feel pretty pissed if everyone on this site voted blondes were better lays. Liking blondes or apples is one thing. Isolating people is another.


Blondes have more fun!

But they also have more VD.


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## NancyGirl74 (Jun 22, 2006)

grey1969 said:


> Of course Casey knew ....



Holy crap on a stick! The utter nerve! Grey, if it were not for us fat chicks you'd have nothing to admire. If it were not for the fat women willing to put themselves out there you would not have had a magazine. You think FA's want to look at other FA's posed on the cover of a magazine? If it were not for the beautiful fat women who post their pictures on this site there would be no site. Please don't forget that without the fat FA's would have nothing to admire. However, without the likes of you and your attitude we fat women be just fine.

As for Misty, if she resents herself and her fellow women being labeled by shape and size more power to her. In fact, hooray for her for speaking up. If it's ok to start categorizing women by their looks perhaps we should start doing that to our men as well. However, I choose to see the whole person and not just their size and shape. Grey, you of all people should be appreciative of that because if a person went by these ugly posts of yours alone you'd have _*at least *_one less friend on this site.


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## gypsy (Jun 22, 2006)

grey1969 said:


> Of course Casey knew ....



And it's not our job to listen to aggravating, piggish comments like that. You are a disgrace to your half of the species. YOU have issues. I suggest you see a psychotherapist, probably a Freudian would do you a lot of good.


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## bigsexy920 (Jun 22, 2006)

Santaclear said:


> Also I prefer a REAL hourglass over a woman shaped like one. Why settle?




Id say I have an hourglass but I think its more like a 24hour glass. :shocked:


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## MissToodles (Jun 22, 2006)

We should all be shaped like this! ladies, take some inspiration from the photo I attached below.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 22, 2006)

I ran to a friend of mind and asked her which I was and after a long contemplative pause she shrugged and said, "Gawd, you're just fat all over."  Seems to be a tossup between hourglass and apple shaped.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jun 22, 2006)

MissToodles said:


> We should all be shaped like this! ladies, take some inspiration from the photo I attached below.



Sexiest pussy ever!


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jun 22, 2006)

grey1969 said:


> Of course Casey knew ....



Blueballs much?

Let's see... Best friend: male. Worship the ground brothers walk on. (Consult Ryan if you don't believe this.) Adore Ryan as well. Really liked my former CONSERVATIVE boss who happened to have a penis. Get along better with the all male unloaders at work better than anyone else. Closest coworker is male. Wrong on all counts there.

As far as FAs not being prevalent, again, a lot of happy horseshit. Lots of them aren't out of the closet though.

If it's BBWs job to mollycoddle FAs, then it seems the responsibility is on FAs to mollycoddle BBWs. Notice though, NO ONE has been petty enough to say they think you're ugly as hell. 

No, Dim was created *in part* for FAs. BTW, you know why virtually every woman on this forum has a crush on Conrad? Nice, respectful guy. Try it.


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## Emma (Jun 22, 2006)

ripley said:


> What strikes me is all the "like Teighlor" and "like Heather" stuff. You can say "I like pear shapes better than apple shapes" all you want, but what you're really saying is that you like hot BBW models.
> 
> We everyday BBWs, whether pear, hourglass, or apple...well, we just don't measure up.
> 
> Perhaps you should just skip the middle man (and avoid all this arguing) and have a poll asking who is the hotter paysite model.



I think he said 'like teighlor, like heather' to try and demonstrate some of the shapes he meant.


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## Emma (Jun 22, 2006)

Come on guysssss. This is the weight board, we've always had questions like this and no one has gone mad over them. Now I know you don't all like it, but rather than invading the board kicking off, couldn't you just ignore it for once? Please. I am so bored of all this trouble.


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## fatlane (Jun 22, 2006)

Santaclear said:


> Also I prefer a REAL hourglass over a woman shaped like one. Why settle?



I am now hurrying off to a timepiece merchant for all the WRONG reasons...


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## fatlane (Jun 22, 2006)

CurvyEm said:


> Come on guysssss. This is the weight board, we've always had questions like this and no one has gone mad over them. Now I know you don't all like it, but rather than invading the board kicking off, couldn't you just ignore it for once? Please. I am so bored of all this trouble.



All, right, you managed to get CurvyEm upset! CUT IT OUT, PEOPLE!

We're _trying_ to have a conversation about fat. 

I like my fat best with poor packing and a kink.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 22, 2006)

fatlane said:


> All, right, you managed to get CurvyEm upset! CUT IT OUT, PEOPLE!
> 
> We're _trying_ to have a conversation about fat.
> 
> I like my fat best with poor packing and a kink.



Yeah, dig the phallic symbolism... NOT. *folds arms* Dammit I'm offended.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jun 22, 2006)

> No, Dim was created in part for FAs. BTW, you know why virtually every woman on this forum has a crush on Conrad? Nice, respectful guy. Try it.



Conrad edits my post, and leaves this in!  You walking vanity case! 

Go ahead and edit it so it's in the largest font possible. And red and bold. You know you want to!


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## Jack Skellington (Jun 22, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> "Okay, what's the hottest shape for BBWs to have? I wish there were more apply/peary/hourglassy goodness to go around here! Who's with me?"
> 
> See where that bugs some women here?



I know, this is so insulting and unimportant. We all know that the only thing that truly matters is breast size.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jun 22, 2006)

Jack Skellington said:


> I know, this is so insulting and unimportant. We all know that the only thing that truly matters is breast size.




THANK YOU! If a woman doesn't have big hooters, she's probably in kahoots with Santa.


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## mossystate (Jun 22, 2006)

My boobs sort of blend in with my large gut..making them appear rather huge...does that count?..am I hot?...will ONE MAN PLEASE TELL ME I AM OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Moyseku (Jun 22, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Stating your preference is different from picking which is "best" or "prettiest" and creating a poll. I'd feel pretty pissed if everyone on this site voted blondes were better lays. Liking blondes or apples is one thing. Isolating people is another.



when i asked for "the better" men obviously understood what i meant, . that was "what you prefer", and NO, NO, NO, you arent objets, its jusdt a topic, nothing more, nothing else


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## Moyseku (Jun 22, 2006)

ripley said:


> What strikes me is all the "like Teighlor" and "like Heather" stuff. You can say "I like pear shapes better than apple shapes" all you want, but what you're really saying is that you like hot BBW models.
> 
> We everyday BBWs, whether pear, hourglass, or apple...well, we just don't measure up.
> 
> Perhaps you should just skip the middle man (and avoid all this arguing) and have a poll asking who is the hotter paysite model.



im sorry, but that was for people who dont know or arent used to the terms, yes they are models and famous, but thats the perfect example, dont you think, as blondie like anna nicole smith, or rude looking like schuarzenneger.

im not gonna a pologise for something that i dont consider offensive as you, but anyway we are all different and individuals, it was just a simple cuestion and i was curious on what men prefer here, i am in a country with no ssbbw like the usa, so i wanted to know


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## Jon Blaze (Jun 22, 2006)

Moyseku said:


> what body shape do you prefer for a girl to grow and why?????
> 
> a) Pear, with lots of leg rolls, like Theiglor
> b) Apple, but wit a very big belly, like Betsy
> ...


Great post!!

I'm willing to take a woman of pretty much any shape.. In regards to these however:

Pears are nice
I like apples and hourglass shapes more than pears. I can't decide which of the two is better to me, but all three shapes are   hot on the right person.


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## UberAris (Jun 22, 2006)

It really depends with me, I LOVE a big soft belly like on an Apple or Hourglass, but the Cheesecake-like pear shape is beautiful too... very tricky... very hard to decide...


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## fatgirlflyin (Jun 22, 2006)

LillyBBBW said:


> I ran to a friend of mind and asked her which I was and after a long contemplative pause she shrugged and said, "Gawd, you're just fat all over."  Seems to be a tossup between hourglass and apple shaped.



LOL Lilly!! I was just sitting here trying to figure out what shape I was and all I could come up with was watermellon


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## MoonGoddess (Jun 22, 2006)

Jack Skellington said:


> I know, this is so insulting and unimportant. We all know that the only thing that truly matters is breast size.



*Ah...so our beloved Halloween King is a tit man. Good to know!*


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## grey1969 (Jun 22, 2006)

saucywench said:


> You've got some serious issues of your own there, grey. You're a veritable ticking timebomb. I hope like hell you don't own any guns.



The problem here is YOU PEOPLE can not handle the truth. That is why you have turned this website into an alternative reality where you want to hide form the real world rather than hold discussions on how we could as FAs and BBWs better deal with it.

When women post that they have been members of more than one online dating site for as much as 5 years and have had no success, what is one to conclude? And then they come here for comfort and support from their fellow feminists and the FAs get shoved over into the corner just like they always have in NAAFA. COnrad knows the truth. They even ran him out of NAAFA eventually, and he bends over backwards to please women.


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## Totmacher (Jun 22, 2006)

mossystate said:


> My boobs sort of blend in with my large gut..making them appear rather huge...does that count?..am I hot?...will ONE MAN PLEASE TELL ME I AM OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



OK, OK, you're hot!


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## GordoNegro (Jun 22, 2006)

gangstadawg said:


> pear or hourglass. in some cases i like apples but only if she is big breasted because i hate it when a bbw is ALL belly and nothing else.



What happens when your bbw becomes hugely pregnant as that can happen? Hope you're not the type to make explanations in front of Mablean Ephraim on Syndicated TV.


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## ripley (Jun 22, 2006)

CurvyEm said:


> I think he said 'like teighlor, like heather' to try and demonstrate some of the shapes he meant.




I know that. 

But A) it wasn't just his post I was talking about, and B) do you really think there is one single guy on this board that needs an example to illustrate the "types"? LOL


This whole thing and threads like it just make me laugh.


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## mossystate (Jun 22, 2006)

Totmacher said:


> OK, OK, you're hot!



YAY!!...now....rep me..feed me...suck my toes...and..ummmm...call me Queen of your universe!!!!


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## mossystate (Jun 22, 2006)

gangstadawg said:


> pear or hourglass. in some cases i like apples but only if she is big breasted because i hate it when a bbw is ALL belly and nothing else.




Sorry, gangsta, but this is exactly the lack of tact I was talking about....ay.


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## GordoNegro (Jun 22, 2006)

I appreciate all 3 body types though apple shapes just have a way of making me slow up traffic when I catch one from the corner of my eyes when gliding across the intersection.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jun 22, 2006)

grey1969 said:


> The problem here is YOU PEOPLE can not handle the truth. That is why you have turned this website into an alternative reality where you want to hide form the real world rather than hold discussions on how we could as FAs and BBWs better deal with it.
> 
> When women post that they have been members of more than one online dating site for as much as 5 years and have had no success, what is one to conclude? And then they come here for comfort and support from their fellow feminists and the FAs get shoved over into the corner just like they always have in NAAFA. COnrad knows the truth. They even ran him out of NAAFA eventually, and he bends over backwards to please women.



I see a lot of those discussions regarding how to deal with the world around them. 

Frankly, I've seen a lot of "fellow feminists" (fairly) criticize Misty and give her some good advice. FAs like Fuzzy, Laina, Jack, Fatlane, etc., are not getting shoved to the back or reporting feeling that way. 

And how well do you know Conrad compared to other people here? You've never spent time with him. No one speaks for Conrad but Conrad.


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## fatlane (Jun 22, 2006)

grey1969 said:


> This message is hidden because grey1969 is on your ignore list.



Gee, Grey, I don't know where to begin to respond... so I won't.


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## Jack Skellington (Jun 22, 2006)

MoonGoddess said:


> *Ah...so our beloved Halloween King is a tit man. Good to know!*



I'm not called the Pumpkin King for nothing.


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## Totmacher (Jun 22, 2006)

Tangentially, Saidie, I find it amusing that you've only named people who often appear virtually immune to criticism eg: If Fatlane, for example, were shoved into a back corner he could easily go a week without noticing


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## fatlane (Jun 22, 2006)

Totmacher said:


> Tangentially, Saidie, I find it amusing that you've only named people who often appear virtually immune to criticism eg: If Fatlane, for example, were shoved into a back corner he could easily go a week without noticing



What the hell is that supposed to mean?

(And I'm laughing, not angry... but confused... really, what _do_ you mean by that?)


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## Jack Skellington (Jun 22, 2006)

_In my best Dan Aykroyd voice_

Fatlane, you ignorant slut.


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## fatlane (Jun 22, 2006)

And you'd _think_ he'd explain it to me...

BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!


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## Jack Skellington (Jun 22, 2006)

Totmacher said:


> were shoved into a back corner



Nobody puts Baby in a corner.


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## ripley (Jun 23, 2006)

Jack Skellington said:


> Nobody puts Baby in a corner.






Ahahahahahahaha


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## saucywench (Jun 23, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> I see a lot of those discussions regarding how to deal with the world around them.
> 
> Frankly, I've seen a lot of "fellow feminists" (fairly) criticize Misty and give her some good advice. FAs like Fuzzy, Laina, Jack, Fatlane, etc., are not getting shoved to the back or reporting feeling that way.
> 
> And how well do you know Conrad compared to other people here? You've never spent time with him. No one speaks for Conrad but Conrad.


No kidding, SL.

(With apologies to Lloyd Bentsen.)

"Jackass, I served with Conrad, I know Conrad, Conrad is a friend of mine. Jackass, you are no Conrad."

:bow:

And maybe the FAs that you mentioned, SL, as well as many others, might possess enough self-assurance in their maleness and FAness that they enjoy these forums (and the women and men who post here) just as they are and feel no need to expend the majority of their posting time in whining like a petulant child over non-issues. 

I would suggest that anyone who doesn't like it here, who disagrees with the way things are done, to not let the door hit your whiny ass on the way out. Then *you* go out and *devote the major portion of your life *and *hundreds of thousands of dollars of your own money* to something you can truly believe in and be devoted to. *Go build your own damned legacy and stop insulting my friend Conrad and the rest of the people here who I admire and respect.*

*ptooie!*


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## Totmacher (Jun 23, 2006)

fatlane said:


> And you'd _think_ he'd explain it to me...
> 
> BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!



Patience, good sir -- I was momentarily distracted. I meant that between your natural showmanship and self confidence you could probably keep yourself going, sans stimulus, for a week easily should you so choose... In the nicest way possible  OK, so actually it was my attempt to put into words the thoguht process that brought about the mental image of a class clown resigned to the back corner of the room and still effectively monopolizing the class's attention undaunted, but you get the picture, right?


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## Jack Skellington (Jun 23, 2006)

grey1969 said:


> and he bends over backwards to please women.



Bend over backwards? I'd bend over forwards. I'd stand on my head and eat bug.


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## fatlane (Jun 23, 2006)

Totmacher said:


> Patience, good sir -- I was momentarily distracted. I meant that between your natural showmanship and self confidence you could probably keep yourself going, sans stimulus, for a week easily should you so choose... In the nicest way possible  OK, so actually it was my attempt to put into words the thoguht process that brought about the mental image of a class clown resigned to the back corner of the room and still effectively monopolizing the class's attention undaunted, but you get the picture, right?



I do now. And the Belushi-esque response was actually for Skellington's Akroyd.

I'm a King Bee, baby... buzzin' 'round your hive...

But, yeah, I know how to entertain myself.


----------



## Jack Skellington (Jun 23, 2006)

fatlane said:


> I know how to entertain myself.



Nah, that's too easy.


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## Fuzzy (Jun 23, 2006)

..._amusing that you've only named people who often appear virtually immune to criticism_...

I'm Batman!


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## fatlane (Jun 23, 2006)

Jack Skellington said:


> Nah, that's too easy.



No, not _that._ I just made a bet with Mini. You want in on it?


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## rainyday (Jun 23, 2006)

fatlane said:


> No, not _that._ I just made a bet with Mini. You want in on it?



That sounds like a bad bet. Mini will win that hands....well....up?


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## RedVelvet (Jun 23, 2006)

It's funny, really. 

I notice the guys that are particularly popular on this board (ones that post in general discussion, anyway...the feeder/pic boards are so very very not my thing) are guys that are funny, smart, kind, and emotionally intelligent to a high degree. 

Notice that "kissing all the women's asses" is not on that list of things that make them well liked. 

Grey, the women here don't need to be worshipped ...they just tend to prefer men with social skills, a sense of humour, kindness, and a light touch. 

I don't understand why you can't see that, but I am sorry thats the case. 

Back to the subject at hand....while I have posted a lot of my opinion regarding the objectification of fat.....I dont see what is wrong with this thread.... 

I mean...I objectify men all the time...when I dont know them. 

I will dismiss a perfectly lovely man as a romantic partner out of hand if he has facial hair.... my preference for clean shaven men is that strong. 

I don't find blond men sexually attractive.....in fact, not only do I prefer brunettes, I like their hair straight...thats how bad I am, narrowly-defined-type-wise. 

Of course...that could all change with the right experience, but I have strong likes, things I notice (shoulders....ass) that are shallow as hell...and thats fine. 

There are men out there who don't like redheads.....the fucking freaks that they are....ahem....heh.. I kid. 

I just think that someone stating a preference for a certain aspect of appearance is not the equivalent of insulting all the other variations that make up the human race by default. 

I get my knickers in a twist over all sorts of stuff that I could let go of easily....so I am full of shite here, but stating what you like is fine by me.


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## RedVelvet (Jun 23, 2006)

MisticalMisty said:


> Someone will feel left out..and you can't say it won't happen..it did when someone brought up the size of bbws..and a majority of the people were posting how they would rather have a bbw or a midsize bbw..a lot of people's feelings were hurt because of it.
> 
> That's why I posted what I did..




Oh sweetie pie.....you know I think you are a doll. And truly, genuinely, know that I understand exactly what you are saying here, I do. But.....but....but..(stepping gingerly and most respectfully here)...why be hurt?

I see a LOT of posting here about SSBBWs. In fact, it seems to me to be the dominant perspective here, rather than smaller BBW's...but that may just be my perspective...and I, for one, am virtually ignored by the men on this board...and it doesn't hurt me at all.

Why? Not because I don't like positive attention.....who boy, I am a sucker for it....but I would never take someone's preference for a larger woman than me as a personal slight, much like men who prefer smaller women than me....they cant help what they like any more than I can help liking tall clean shaven men with dark hair and broad shoulders (Bill Campbell, Bruce Campbell....just gimmie them Campbells)...

Doesn't make Brad Pitt a bad looking guy....he just doesnt do it for me.

You are right, of course, in that there might be people here who are new to the movement, or who might have maybe more fragile self esteem, and having an environment here that is as nurturing as possible IS good, but please dont be hurt by preferences.....please.

You are too sweet and lovely to let anything like that touch you.


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## grey1969 (Jun 23, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> I see a lot of those discussions regarding how to deal with the world around them.
> 
> Frankly, I've seen a lot of "fellow feminists" (fairly) criticize Misty and give her some good advice. FAs like Fuzzy, Laina, Jack, Fatlane, etc., are not getting shoved to the back or reporting feeling that way.
> 
> And how well do you know Conrad compared to other people here? You've never spent time with him. No one speaks for Conrad but Conrad.



NAAFA is so supportive of FAs that they have a stated policy for FAs to go start their own organization so NAAFA wouldn't have to deal with their issues. Dimensions is so supportive of FAs, that men can't even discuss their preferred body types without the likes of you, Mossy, and Misty coming on the thread and railing about how demeaning it is. It would be nice if at least the feminists would leave the Weight Board alone. You all can have the Main Board, but really the Weight Board should be for the men and the tolerant women like CurvyEm and RedVelvet. There is no need for you to come in here and spread your male-bashing.

As for Conrad, I have it on very good authority from a long-time female NAAFA member (who refuses to post here by the way, due to the hostile nature of these boards) that Conrad was continuously siding with the women whenever there were any types of disputes between the female and male members of that group. And yet they turned on him eventually anyway. It is interesting how the same type of radical feminists who seized control of NAAFA and turned its focus from fat acceptance (a concept originated by male FAs) to size acceptance (a feminist concept) have now seized control of Conrad's website. It is funny how history repeats itself.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jun 23, 2006)

You know, I never heard NAAFA say that. I did hear they suggested feeders/feedees start a new group. Source?

Look, you're pissy over the personality thread. God forbid we had a thread about what kind of men are preferable and started picking out certain people who were more/less attractive. I don't remember saying, "YOU CAN NEVER TALK ABOUT THIS!" I said the topic was stupid and exclusionary. And it is. In a place about body acceptance, defining the "best body type" is counter-productive. I don't care if someone wants to rant on about how nailing his apple girlfriend is so hot after she eats dinner. Cool. 

Fat acceptance and size acceptance are the same thing. Please, no pulling things out of your ass, and it's not a gender thing. You know, Conrad's a big boy, and I don't see the point in high school gossip like, "I know this girl who said that Conrad got kicked out of NAAFA because he wasn't one of the cool kids!" Do I think NAAFA does a lot of stuff wrong? Hell yeah. 

If Conrad didn't like his site, he could shut it down. Let Conrad speak for Conrad.


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## fatlane (Jun 23, 2006)

I heard Conrad is a second cousin, twice removed, of Crown Prince Bandar of Saudi Arabia and stands to inherit oil billions when he dies.

I heard Conrad knows why the US faked the lunar landings, and that's why the government hasn't shut down this website.

I heard Conrad once ate an entire 72-ounce steak in Amarillo, but lost his card that lets him eat there for free. It's somewhere in the Mojave Desert, so if you can find it and get to Amarillo and act a little Swiss, you got meat on your plate.

I heard Conrad played bass for the Rolling Stones for about a week while they played some gigs after Bill Wyman left. Whatta guy, our Conrad!

I mean, if we're gonna spread rumors about the guy, let's at least make them fun for him to deny.

_"No, Fatlane, that wasn't really *me* playing the bass for the Stones, but I'm flattered, all the same..."_

I've never met Conrad personally. but I like the guy. I like a lot of people here. The rest I put on ignore and wonder why they keep coming back here if they're so darn unhappy about things.

If you guys aren't good, I'm gonna sit in a corner and entertain myself.


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## Jack Skellington (Jun 23, 2006)

fatlane said:


> If you guys aren't good, I'm gonna sit in a corner and entertain myself.



That's not an empty threat. Mark my words, he'll do it!


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 23, 2006)

I heard Conrad flew on a plane and was sitting 8 rows away from the guy who shot John Lennon.


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## fatlane (Jun 23, 2006)

Jack Skellington said:


> That's not an empty threat. Mark my words, he'll do it!



I'm headed there right now... DON'T MAKE ME SIT DOWN!!!


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## MisticalMisty (Jun 23, 2006)

RedVelvet said:


> Oh sweetie pie.....you know I think you are a doll. And truly, genuinely, know that I understand exactly what you are saying here, I do. But.....but....but..(stepping gingerly and most respectfully here)...why be hurt?
> 
> I see a LOT of posting here about SSBBWs. In fact, it seems to me to be the dominant perspective here, rather than smaller BBW's...but that may just be my perspective...and I, for one, am virtually ignored by the men on this board...and it doesn't hurt me at all.
> 
> ...


I'm not hurt..I'm saying those new to size acceptance could be hurt. I'm thinking about the young girls who come here because they are trying to find a support system for their journey with accepting their bodies and maybe trying to gain an understanding of fas..etc..and they see a thread that wants men to pick which shape is the best..that's been my whole beef the entire time..

I appreciate the guy's preferences..hell I have my own..and I definitely want a belly man since I don't have an ass ..and I'm not saying don't talk about what you like in another person..but don't turn it into some better or best issue.

I don't need any man to validate my beauty. I know I'm beautiful and if a man doesn't like the way I look..then that's his choice..because I know there's someone else that will appreciate my beauty. But I haven't always had that confidence..my early years at dimensions I was struggling to find a place to fit in and still grappling with the awe of finding men that adore fat chicks. I'm just trying to keep in mind how green I was behind the ears and how others will be as well.

If the wording of the thread had been different..instead of saying which shape is "better" simply stating which one you prefer would have kept my panties out of a wad..lol..

I'll never be completely understood on this topic...I can tell..it's definitely not about me..but somehow it got turned into that.


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## RedVelvet (Jun 23, 2006)

MisticalMisty said:


> I'm not hurt..I'm saying those new to size acceptance could be hurt. I'm thinking about the young girls who come here because they are trying to find a support system for their journey with accepting their bodies and maybe trying to gain an understanding of fas..etc..and they see a thread that wants men to pick which shape is the best..that's been my whole beef the entire time..





I know....I know....I am just saying that I have seen you post about this with regards to your sweet self as well, suggesting that you might have been hurt in the past....I think I was referring to those posts more than this one.

Anyway, I do understand your point....and respect it.

I apologize if it made you feel singled out...not my intent.


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## Caine (Jun 27, 2006)

Well, I know its not in the suggested areas but I do love large limbs especially legs. So pear would be ideal for me but I'm not picky, I just need her to be soft and squishy no matter what and I'm hers


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## Jes (Jun 29, 2006)

MoonGoddess said:


> *Ah...so our beloved Halloween King is a tit man. Good to know!*


you hadn't figured that out? he's quite picky, apparently.


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## weirdo (Jun 29, 2006)

apple, with big belly. Mmmmmmm a nice soft round bellly.:wubu:


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## Surfpenguin (Jul 1, 2006)

Moyseku said:


> what body shape do you prefer for a girl to grow and why?????
> 
> a) Pear, with lots of leg rolls, like Theiglor
> b) Apple, but wit a very big belly, like Betsy
> ...



Me? I'm partial to choice C: The classic hourglass shape, just for larger grains of sand  

After all, why just have one part that attractive when it's the whole package that matters?


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## Mikey (Jul 1, 2006)

The Kid said:


> I mean nothing personal to either of you ladies but I disagree with you. It still stands that a preference IS picking which is best or prettiest. That's why you prefer it, you like it better than the other choices out there.



I stand with The Kid on this one!


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## Ivy (Jul 2, 2006)

am i the only one who read this and immediately thought, "uh, not all pears have oodles and oodles of leg rolls?"


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## Mikey (Jul 2, 2006)

Ivy said:


> am i the only one who read this and immediately thought, "uh, not all pears have oodles and oodles of leg rolls?"



I would like to think that I am an aficianado of pears..."Pearman of the Board"...if you will...and I know of only one other woman with such leg rolls...at least in these parts. Maybe that is a whole new group...sort of a spin off.

By the way Ivy, I was thinking the same thing when I read that.


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## Observer (Jul 2, 2006)

Is Conrad really descended from a rich sheik?

Possibly. According to the below recent MSN articlle, Fatlane was only half-kidding. 

If the geneologists are right virtually everyone, Arab and Euriopean alike, is descended from either Muhammed or medieval royalty or more probably both!

This means Happy Fat Chick, Wayne Zitkus, Tina and I (Fatlane SDL and Britney Spears too) are probably all related! So, let's rememberr we're family and all play nice.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13662242/


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## Teecher (Jul 3, 2006)

I happen to be a pearlover. And hourglasses are a strong second!!! What's wrong with that? If a person on this board may be offended by my preference, new person or veteran, shouldn't they be the one to speak up on it? 

I sense some degree of defensiveness in this whole argument. Nothing personal but this board is about 'fantasies'. It's a wish list for every FA, or FFA in the 'Dimensions Board' world.

Just try to look at it that way.

Teecher


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## William (Jul 3, 2006)

Hi Misty

I always internally translate these kind of questions into "what turns you on?"

As a BHM I try to make comments on the bodies of BBWs in a way that I would want to read comments about BHMs bodies.


William




MisticalMisty said:


> Why does one have to be better than the other? Are you saying that a woman with the non-popular body shape is any less beautiful and attractive than a person with the popular shape?
> 
> I seriously hate threads like these....I swear guys are sometimes insensitive to the women around them.
> 
> You are allowed your preferences..but don't make it into an open popularity contest..


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## fatlane (Jul 3, 2006)

Observer said:


> Is Conrad really descended from a rich sheik?
> 
> Possibly. According to the below recent MSN articlle, Fatlane was only half-kidding.
> 
> ...



Hot damn. I love swimmin' in the gene pool!


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## Kizzume (Jul 3, 2006)

Since so many people have gotten offended at this subject, let me put a disclaimer before my actual post: I am not trying to state anything that is offensive, I'm simply answering the subject of this thread: "what do you think is a better shape for women".

I have never been with a woman yet (I've so far just been with guys, and if the right chemistry happened with myself and a woman, I sure wouldn't turn her down), but the look that's the most pleasing to me on a woman is the hourglass shape. To me it looks the most feminine. Big on top and big hips. I like to know immediately from a block away what someone's gender is, no matter what they're wearing. On guys I like the belly as the main feature with big calves and arms.


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## RedVelvet (Jul 10, 2006)

Jes said:


> you hadn't figured that out? he's quite picky, apparently.




I know.....cant get him to give me the time of day, dammit.


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## mossystate (Jul 10, 2006)

Kizzume said:


> Since so many people have gotten offended at this subject, let me put a disclaimer before my actual post: I am not trying to state anything that is offensive, I'm simply answering the subject of this thread: "what do you think is a better shape for women".
> 
> I have never been with a woman yet (I've so far just been with guys, and if the right chemistry happened with myself and a woman, I sure wouldn't turn her down), but the look that's the most pleasing to me on a woman is the hourglass shape. To me it looks the most feminine. Big on top and big hips. I like to know immediately from a block away what someone's gender is, no matter what they're wearing. On guys I like the belly as the main feature with big calves and arms.


that's one of the problems with 'feminine' and 'masculine'..and you like men who look like many fat women..lol..the official 'masculine' look is slim waist..broad shoulders...no belly...hmmmmmmmmmm


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## Kizzume (Jul 11, 2006)

Yeah, that's true.  I don't know why I like those looks on those genders, I just do.


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## pattycake (Aug 2, 2006)

Kizzume said:


> I have never been with a woman yet (I've so far just been with guys, and if the right chemistry happened with myself and a woman, I sure wouldn't turn her down), but the look that's the most pleasing to me on a woman is the hourglass shape. To me it looks the most feminine. Big on top and big hips. I like to know immediately from a block away what someone's gender is, no matter what they're wearing. On guys I like the belly as the main feature with big calves and arms.





mossystate said:


> that's one of the problems with 'feminine' and 'masculine'..and you like men who look like many fat women..lol..the official 'masculine' look is slim waist..broad shoulders...no belly...hmmmmmmmmmm



Mossystate, actually, a 'feminine' shape on a BHM would be wide hips, big thighs, big (man)boobs (an hourglass). Yes, many fat women may be apples, but that is the supposed 'officially' masculine shape for a person of size. The 'official' feminine shape for a (non pregnant) woman of any size is the hourglass. How many times do you read that women tend to carry most of their weight on their hips and breasts and men carry it on their midsections? You seem to be saying that all fat men are feminine looking (as the standard image of a fat man is one with a more prominent belly than any other body part) but like Kizzume, I find a prominent belly on a man very masculine (and I also like big calves and arms). If I were into women too, I'd go for an hourglass. Not dissing apple shaped women in any way, just a preference. Not that anyone asked me anyway. I'm just a lowly FFA, *lol*


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## DDP (Aug 4, 2006)

Guess it's too late to post this after this thread has been hi-jacked... but the physical body types that I'm attracted to are (in order):
1) Hour Glass
2) Big Boobs and a decent butt
3) Big butt 
4) Big boobs & noassatall
5) don't really care for all in the belly

Then again, that's just physical- I'd never date a #1 if she was a real bitch. I have met a few SSBBW/ BBW "princesses".... I'm not a feeder, my g/f is about 250. I admit I like the really large women but I'd never ask someone to gain weight. 
I'm pretty sure that most of the women on here would not go out with just any guy to be policitally correct. I agree that the wording for this thread should have been more like "what shape do you perfer" instead of better.
DDP


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## Falling Boy (Aug 4, 2006)

Oh why, oh why did you bring this thread back from the dead. 

Let it die!


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## Reenaye Starr (Aug 4, 2006)

I really can't say that I personally fit any of these descriptions. I think I prefer hourglass, but a cute girl is a cute girl!


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## MistahSmooth_CT (Aug 4, 2006)

A,B, and C is very very pretty.. I love seeing it on a woman


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## et_smash (Aug 4, 2006)

All shapes are good. My pref. is the pearshape, but it is all packaging or wrapping paper if you will. For example: When I was younger on X-mas day I really didn't care what the wrapping paper looked like. A bright and colorfully wrapped box, while it may catch my eye, is still gonna get opened. It is what is on the inside that I am after.


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## lemmink (Aug 4, 2006)

Mmm, organs.


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## mrskeet (Aug 5, 2006)

I love a woman with thick thighs big butt and huge hippy hips that thick sexy bbw. Like I love Ann Marie's shape I like women shaped like that I would spoil the hell out of a woman shaped like that. So I would say Big Butt, Wide Hips, Thick Thighs and on the chunky side thats my ideal woman.


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## love dubh (Aug 5, 2006)

I like a girl's cerebral cleavage. 

View attachment i can smell your brains.jpg


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## luv_lovehandles (Aug 5, 2006)

) Apple, but wit a very big belly, like Betsy

for sho for sho

hence my nametummy=my biggest turn on area:eat2:


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## shdwyldcat (Aug 5, 2006)

I don't usually make a lot of posts in forums, but this one was too interesting to me to keep my e-mouth shut. 

I guess I'll have to start out with...

What is attraction? Attraction is an emotion. Also, attraction isn't a choice. FAs don't say to themselves, "She has X figure, weighs about Y pounds, and has Z cup size, I think I'll feel attracted to her right now. (I mean Z cup size figuratively, but I'm sure that literally might work for some guys too.) 

Essentially what we have had here is a bit of conflict because of the differences between men and women. More specifically the differences between what causes men and women to feel that magical emotion of attraction. 

This is over simplifying things a lot, but sometimes it helps to think of things in more simple terms before getting to the specifics. Essentially men and women find the same kinds of things attractive. At the same time, we are very different. Both genders have an internal attraction mechanism that responds to physical and personality traits... 

Here is where things start to flip flop. It make it easy to think of this in terms of the 80/20 rule. In men, 80% of an attraction is triggered by a woman's physical appearance, and 20% by her personality. The reverse is true for women...... 

With this rule of thumb, keep in mind that it is over simplified and over generalized. There are over 6 billion people on this planet, which means that here is quite a bit of room for variation. However, I do think that it is a good starting point. 

The problem this causes is two-fold, and it is experienced by both genders. 

1. Since each gender places a different weight on what it is that triggers that emotion attraction, neither gender can fully "get" why the other gender seems to gravitate to certain types. 

2. When one gender attempts to express what it is that triggers that emotion of attraction, it causes members of that gender that do not have that "thing" that causes the other to feel the emotion of attraction. 

Analysing the reasons behind the attractions can be fun and interesting. However, I don't think that it is particularly useful. (That doesn't keep me from enjoying it.) I'm not sure that the nature vs. nurture or evolution vs. creationism arguments are cans of worms that I really want to open, but I believe there are very good evolutionary reasons for this. 

Some women who posted this thread, were upset and threw out a message that basically said, "What about me?" 

I'm going to turn this around and say that there are also men who get upset because women tend to gravitate toward other men they would describe as a**holes, or are richer, taller, etc. I'm sure most of you have heard at one time or another... "Why is it always the a**holes that get the girls" 

I have a friend who does this frequently. I think he's a cool guy, but at the same time I think he as a lot to learn. Every so often he will throw what amounts to a verbal temper tantrum and say things about how he believes that all women are evil, and will take advantage of a "nice guy" who will "treat women well," and then rip his heart out and grind it into the floor with is high heels. 

Of course when he talks to female "friends" who he is secretly madly in love with, they effectively say... There there, I know. It's terrible. Now run home to mommy so she can wipe your nose and change your diaper. 

If you were to pay attention to his actions, they not only say, but scream.... "When I am with a woman I am attracted to, I will give her more respect than she deserves, I will be submissive to her, and pander to her every whim just to be in her presence. I have no purpose other than to serve her." 

Then he wonders why she runs off with the guy who' actions scream, "I am what I am, and you're gonna deal with it, or your gonna be wearin' that wedgie up around your head... Then you're going to apologize that your tightie whities managed to expose themselves to my hands while I ride off on my motorcycle with your girlfriend on the back." 

I've tried to give him the verbal [email protected]#ch slap wake up call a few times, but figured out that my verbal man hands would fall off before he got the point. :doh: I still consider this guy a friend, but I can think pf better things to do with my $%*ng (edited because of potential naughyness  ) than to continue with an aguement that isn't being listened to.

I know, these are extreme examples, but they were made to be extreme to demonstrate the point that men experience this issue too, and it is rare that man can pick these things out..... 

As far as what pushes my buttons is concerned.... 

I find most women attractive, but I find fat women much more attractive than slender women. This is more than just a strong preference. Personality does nothing for what causes me to feel that emotion of attraction. However, it has much to do with what causes me to feel the magical emotion of affection. 

The shape I prefer is..... 


The shape of my girlfriend. (What?! Do you expect me to give up all the goods?)


----------



## SexxyBBW69 (Aug 5, 2006)

MistahSmooth_CT said:


> A,B, and C is very very pretty.. I love seeing it on a woman




Now that is the correct answer.......


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Aug 5, 2006)

shdwyldcat said:


> This is over simplifying things a lot, but sometimes it helps to think of things in more simple terms before getting to the specifics. Essentially men and women find the same kinds of things attractive. At the same time, we are very different. Both genders have an internal attraction mechanism that responds to physical and personality traits...
> 
> Here is where things start to flip flop. It make it easy to think of this in terms of the 80/20 rule. In men, 80% of an attraction is triggered by a woman's physical appearance, and 20% by her personality. The reverse is true for women......



Where'd you get THOSE stats? Out of your ass, or out of some MSN homepage thing? That's just such bullshit... 



shdwyldcat said:


> With this rule of thumb, keep in mind that it is over simplified and over generalized. There are over 6 billion people on this planet, which means that here is quite a bit of room for variation. However, I do think that it is a good starting point.



That's a HORRIBLE starting point. It starts out with reducing something to a percent that can't humanly be put into those terms. 



shdwyldcat said:


> 1. Since each gender places a different weight on what it is that triggers that emotion attraction, neither gender can fully "get" why the other gender seems to gravitate to certain types.



You're confusing the words gender and sex. Sex is biological. You seem to be talking about sex, man and woman. Gender is a cultural thing. There are about eight genders that can be found throughout the world. Gender is sexual identity. (Check out the APA's definition of gender.) You're trying to put gender into a neat dichotomy. That dog won't hunt, monsieur.



shdwyldcat said:


> 2. When one gender attempts to express what it is that triggers that emotion of attraction, it causes members of that gender that do not have that "thing" that causes the other to feel the emotion of attraction.


 
Okay. So let's say a gay, feminine woman is talking to a straight man about what triggers attraction, you're saying the other lipstick women of the world don't have what makes the original lipstick woman attracted, meaning she's not attracted to other lipstick women? What the hell are you talking about? 



shdwyldcat said:


> Some women who posted this thread, were upset and threw out a message that basically said, "What about me?"
> 
> I'm going to turn this around and say that there are also men who get upset because women tend to gravitate toward other men they would describe as a**holes, or are richer, taller, etc. I'm sure most of you have heard at one time or another... "Why is it always the a**holes that get the girls"



Man, did you actually read those? The women who were "concerned about themselves" were actually saying it might scare off newbs to size acceptance, and that no body type can be "best." I'm a total hourglass figure, and it's not that I was saying, "What about meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?" I was saying it's wrong to say a body is "better." You're merely more or less attracted to it. That's like saying red is better than blue. That's stupid, and how is an apple-shaped 18 y/o girl who hates her body and is trying to change her mindset going to feel when she reads that horseshit?



shdwyldcat said:


> I have a friend who does this frequently. I think he's a cool guy, but at the same time I think he as a lot to learn. Every so often he will throw what amounts to a verbal temper tantrum and say things about how he believes that all women are evil, and will take advantage of a "nice guy" who will "treat women well," and then rip his heart out and grind it into the floor with is high heels.
> 
> ...
> 
> If you were to pay attention to his actions, they not only say, but scream.... "When I am with a woman I am attracted to, I will give her more respect than she deserves, I will be submissive to her, and pander to her every whim just to be in her presence. I have no purpose other than to serve her."



I've got to say, when a guy is nice, it pisses me off when he gets characterized as a pussy like this. Submission is NOT a bad trait. It's only bad if he doesn't have a personality, set of interests, and ideas to contribute to the relationship.



shdwyldcat said:


> Then he wonders why she runs off with the guy who' actions scream, "I am what I am, and you're gonna deal with it, or your gonna be wearin' that wedgie up around your head... Then you're going to apologize that your tightie whities managed to expose themselves to my hands while I ride off on my motorcycle with your girlfriend on the back."



Because women really are this simple! We're all willing to take advantage of a pussy until we meet a great, mean, abusive guy, and run off with him! Wow! You SO understand women!!!



shdwyldcat said:


> I know, these are extreme examples, but they were made to be extreme to demonstrate the point that men experience this issue too, and it is rare that man can pick these things out.....



You're talking about something completely different. You're basically saying that: 

1) Gender and sex are the same thing. If that were true, are trans people just faking it?

2) Women are more interested in behavior. We just want an aggressive ape who beats his chest, but will settle for a wuss to serve us.

3) They're extreme examples, but they're very much reality. Uhhh, either your friend is or isn't a wuss. Stats are the same. You can't say these are "extreme examples." Either it's true or not. You can't act as though it's all scientific and then backpeddle.



shdwyldcat said:


> Personality does nothing for what causes me to feel that emotion of attraction. However, it has much to do with what causes me to feel the magical emotion of affection.



This is mincing words. So you'd still be attracted to a beautiful fat woman if she were really mean?


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## William (Aug 5, 2006)

I am more than a statistic 


All generalizations are dangerous, even this one.

--- Alexandre Dumas


All general statements are false.

--- Unknown






shdwyldcat said:


> I don't usually make a lot of posts in forums, but this one was too interesting to me to keep my e-mouth shut.
> 
> I guess I'll have to start out with...
> 
> ...


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## sirumberto (Aug 5, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> This is mincing words. So you'd still be attracted to a beautiful fat woman if she were really mean?



I think there's a bit of a difference in definitions here. I can be attracted to an attractive but completely obnoxious person in a completely physical sense. If men couldn't be aroused (I don't want to put words in anyone's mouth, but I'd BET aroused is a better word) without knowing the details of the other person's personality, the porn industry would almost fold up overnight.

That said, he did say emotion of attraction, so you may be right. I still want to give him the benefit of the doubt though. I think that what he means by affection, you mean by attraction.


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## mrman1980uk (Aug 5, 2006)

maire dubh said:


> I like a girl's cerebral cleavage.



I like your style ;-)


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Aug 5, 2006)

sirumberto said:


> I think there's a bit of a difference in definitions here. I can be attracted to an attractive but completely obnoxious person in a completely physical sense. If men couldn't be aroused (I don't want to put words in anyone's mouth, but I'd BET aroused is a better word) without knowing the details of the other person's personality, the porn industry would almost fold up overnight.
> 
> That said, he did say emotion of attraction, so you may be right. I still want to give him the benefit of the doubt though. I think that what he means by affection, you mean by attraction.



Well, yes. Watching porn though, you don't know the people. I think for most people, including the men in my life, if someone's really hateful, they become quite ugly and unattractive.

I understand attraction can be purely sexual. That's cool. However, it seems to me, the "scientific" edge he's trying to get in would not allow him to be attracted to such a vexing person. It goes against what's best for breedin', don'tcha know?


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## shdwyldcat (Aug 5, 2006)

I guess who it is those who decided to ague against my points missed that part where I said.... 


*"...keep in mind that it is over simplified and over generalized. There are over 6 billion people on this planet, which means that here is quite a bit of room for variation..." 
* 
and as far as the 80% 20% statistic goes I did pull it out of my a$$. I didn't say it was a genuine statistic. what I said was... 

"*It make it easy to think of this in terms of the 80/20 rule.* In men, 80% of an attraction is triggered by a woman's physical appearance, and 20% by her personality. The reverse is true for women......" 

You can have your opinions, and feel what want about what I have to say, but *don't twist my words around!* 

..and I am sorry if there was any confusion about the difference between a nice person and a a NICE GUY. 

Generally speaking (yes, I know some of you hate generalization's but here it is... 


A nice person will generally do nice things because he feels like it, or because he/she believes that it is the right thing to do. 

A "nice guy" will do nice things because... 

1. Out of fear... He has no spine... he would be afraid that his neighbor's 6 year old daughter will beat him up if he isn't nice. 

2. He has an agenda. He's being nice to get things out of someone, as in the guy who says nice things, does nice things, and buys things in order to get into a woman's pants. 

That's not cool. 

There is a huge difference between the guy who is a nice person, and the guy who is a _nice guy_. 

As far as genders go, I mean man and woman. If you wish to split hairs, and say that I am using the wrong word because some group somewhere along the line decided that the word gender has a different meaning that the word sex (in the contex that we are talking about male and female) feel free to do so... I didn't get the memo... As far as I'm concerned, there are 2 human genders. Male and female.



> 2. When one gender attempts to express what it is that triggers that emotion of attraction, it causes members of that gender that do not have that "thing" that causes the other to feel the emotion of attraction.
> 
> _"Okay. So let's say a gay, feminine woman is talking to a straight man about what triggers attraction, you're saying the other lipstick women of the world don't have what makes the original lipstick woman attracted, meaning she's not attracted to other lipstick women? What the hell are you talking about?"_


 
This is one I know I should have elaborated a bit more on.... and it looks like my thoughts were moving faster than my fingers, what I meant was... it causes members of that gender that do not have that "thing" that causes the other to feel inadequate. Neither gender fully experiences exactly how the other feels attraction, so it can only understand. 

I'd like to go into this further, but I don't have time, and considering that some people here seem to like to twist words for the sake of creating arguments rather than for the sake of creating a resolution to problems, or sharing knowledge, I don't believe I will be back. 

Take arguing the word "better" as it relates to to this thread. Maybe somebody didn't "get" that that was intended as, "what is it that you find more attractive?" ...but I doubt it. I think it was pretty obvious, ESPECIALLY to someone who is good with words, like TheSadeianLinguist. 

Fortunately, there appears to be nearly as much variety in what people find attractive as there are body types. 

I guess I should also say that I am referencing heterosexual attractions. I'm sure somebody might try to throw themselves a pity party because I am saying this, but I am going to anyway.... (maybe they should order themselves a whamburger with a side of french cries... when they've eaten too much, they should call themselves a whambulance.) 

I have homosexual friends. These friends are great people. I don't care what it is that causes them to feel attraction... to me it is a non-issue as long as we have fun together and the gay boys aren't putting their hands or other body parts in/on/near areas of my body where I don't want them to. 

And to anyone who argues against my perspectives about what does and does not cause attraction in (heterosexual... I didn't know I needed to be that specific here.) men and women, maybe you're right. That doesn't change the "results" I've experienced in the real world. I'll just say that I am far from being "that guy" who sits and whines about not being able to find a woman.


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## shdwyldcat (Aug 5, 2006)

I wasn't going to come back, but for whatever reason, I received an email saying that there was reply to my message even though there was none.  ...besides, I like the smileys here.  

While I hate having my words twisted around by other people, I noticed something TheSadeianLinguist said that I can definately agree with...



> Look, you're pissy over the personality thread. God forbid we had a thread about what kind of men are preferable and started picking out certain people who were more/less attractive. I don't remember saying, "YOU CAN NEVER TALK ABOUT THIS!" I said the topic was stupid and exclusionary. And it is. In a place about body acceptance, defining the "best body type" is counter-productive. I don't care if someone wants to rant on about how nailing his apple girlfriend is so hot after she eats dinner. Cool.



:bow: 

On the other hand, I don't mind it so much when someone catches one of my errors, or has something of value to teach me.

...and yes. I'd still be attracted to, "a beautiful fat woman if she were really mean," but that doesn't mean that I'd be willing to put up with her for more than the 2-10 seconds it usually takes to find that out.

Not that it really matters at this point because I am in a committed relationship, ( :smitten: ) and am not going to be dating, doing the "friends with benefits" thing, or anything else that fits into that category unless my relationship status changes. 

 (Direct transalation: Regardless of what happens or who tries to get a ride on the wild bologna pony, I will not cheat or leave the woman I am with for someone else.)


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Aug 5, 2006)

shdwyldcat said:


> You can have your opinions, and feel what want about what I have to say, but *don't twist my words around!*
> 
> ..and I am sorry if there was any confusion about the difference between a nice person and a a NICE GUY.
> 
> ...



You can say there are two genders until the cows come home. You're still talking about biological sex. That's not splitting hairs. Is it splitting hairs if I say cows and horses are not the same thing? 

You made up a statistic and presented it as truth. You were still stereotyping. It's the same crap like, "Oh, women are good at using language and men are good at math." Nothing good can come of saying things like that, because the studies proving that tend to be, well, piss-poor studies. See how much data they'll share with you. Nonetheless, you said something was true when you really just made it up.

"*It make it easy to think of this in terms of the 80/20 rule.* In men, 80% of an attraction is triggered by a woman's physical appearance, and 20% by her personality. *The reverse is true for women*......" Gee, that looks like you're not exactly saying, "Oh, I'm making this up." Looks like you're presenting it as truth and hoping no one will call you on it.

As far as twisting your words, I don't need to, and didn't. 

Yes, the original poster learned ESL, but truly, it does nothing to promote acceptance when we start talking about things as better. (Thanks for the jab there, BTW, concerning "being good at English." I thought that was real cute.)

As far as wanting to create conflict, no. Not buying it. That's an excuse I've heard used by people who don't have any interest in hearing anyone else's point of view. 

If you truly don't know what the word gender means, there's a good book that discusses this in detail called _Queer Theory_. Or do some reading about transsexuality, or genderism in general. 

As far as "nice guys," go, yeah, they exist, as they do in women. But, y'know, they're no worse than those people who like to think of themselves as the ultimate proveyers of truth.


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## Wagimawr (Aug 5, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> There are about eight genders that can be found throughout the world.






Wikipedia said:


> The word gender describes the state of being male, female, or neither.





dictionary.com said:


> The condition of being female or male; sex.


Maybe Wikipedia and dictionary.com are behind the times, I don't know. What are the other six genders?

EDIT: Doing a bit of looking; seems male / female are not as appropriate for discussing gender as masculine / feminine are.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Aug 5, 2006)

Jesus Christ. People really do read whatever the hell they'd like to imagine is there. 

"In social sciences, the word "gender" is sometimes used in contrast to biological sex, to emphasise a social, cultural or psychological dimension. The discipline of gender studies investigates the nature of sex and gender in a social context."

Y'know, people act different ways in different cultures/subcultures. Wiki's saying the same thing I'm saying.

"The word gender describes the state of being male, female, or neither."

I think this is badly worded, but again, it pretty obviously means that there's at least one other gender than "male"/"female."

As far as what other genders there are:

There are of course cisgendered people. No duh. 

There are gender dysphoric (transgendered) people.

There are TRANSSEXUALS.

And, of course, our genderqueer/intersexed people.

Each set has two subsets, making eight.


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## Jack Skellington (Aug 5, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Each set has two subsets, making eight.



Can't say I totally agree with the multiple gender theory. Considering Transsexuals themselves strongly identify as one or the other for example. 

Also going a little off topic here. I still think it's unfair transsexuals are referred to as gender dysphoric. Basically meaning they have mental condition instead of a medical one. About time the psyciatric communty updated their thinking on that. Homosexuality hasn't been considered a mental illness since I think the mid sixities.

Getting back on topic, from what I understand Intersexed is a medical condition resulting from hormonal and/or chromosomal birth defects. So I don't think it's really fair to refer to people with birth defects as an "it" or hermaphrodite. Also considering if it wasn't for the hormonal or chromosomal defects they would have been male or female.

The human animal is very complex and loads of problems can occur during fetal development. Recessive genes of one parent mixing with those from another mixing in with all kinds of other variables. The mind boggles.


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## Littleghost (Aug 6, 2006)

Hmmm, I'd say I prefer raspberry-shape girls. Or starfruit.

But I'm alergic to starfruit,
--Littleghost


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Aug 6, 2006)

I think you're confusing the words dysphoric and dysmorphic. The latter deals with the wrong body. The other means, "An emotional state characterized by anxiety, depression, or unease." You have to admit, being in what you feel is the wrong body causes some awful feelings.

More to come on my feelings on intersexuality... 


Jack Skellington said:


> Can't say I totally agree with the multiple gender theory. Considering Transsexuals themselves strongly identify as one or the other for example.
> 
> Also going a little off topic here. I still think it's unfair transsexuals are referred to as gender dysphoric. Basically meaning they have mental condition instead of a medical one. About time the psyciatric communty updated their thinking on that. Homosexuality hasn't been considered a mental illness since I think the mid sixities.
> 
> ...


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Aug 6, 2006)

Ah, with an hour of overtime in, now I can go on my rant about intersexuality. So ya think it's wrong to give a child no gender identity because the kid was born intersexual? You know what's REALLY wrong? Mutilating your child's genitals to make them closer to the sex YOU think they should be. Most intersexuals, even mutilated ones, have a hard time denying their gender, and it's painful to them to deny it or be forced into denying it. It's horrible to force a kid to be something they aren't so it's easier for you. Yes, life makes it somewhat necessary to select from the rather silly binaries we've pulled out of our asses, but this is a stupid system because there are too many people who just aren't suited by it. 

Nonetheless, I understand picking the "best" of the two to raise your child as. What irks me is when others fail to acknowledge the valid feelings of intersexuals. They can't merely be forced into a box because it's convenient for us. They shouldn't be. Most certainly, nothing so drastic as redesigning your child's genitals to make YOUR life easier should even be considered. It can ruin their sexual pleasure and is irreversible. 

Intersexuality is NOT a flaw. It is NOT a defect. Intersexuals work, eat, sleep, jerk off, and have sex just like everyone else. The only thing defective about intersexuality is the blatant ignorance surrounding it.


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## Jack Skellington (Aug 6, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Intersexuality is NOT a flaw. It is NOT a defect. Intersexuals work, eat, sleep, jerk off, and have sex just like everyone else. The only thing defective about intersexuality is the blatant ignorance surrounding it.



Saying a person has a medical condition is not an insult. For example a cleft pallet is a birth defect._ Shrugs_, we just have different opinions on this.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Aug 6, 2006)

Yes, a cleft pallet is a birth defect because it affects your quality of life. It affects your ability to speak clearly and eat. Absolutely calling someone who was born intersexed is an insult. It's an ANOMALY. It's uncommon. So are violet eyes, and being born without a hymen. I have no idea how either of those things are medical conditions, much like intersexuality. Just because someone doesn't fit neatly into one of two sexes does not mean it's a medical condition. Because something is different does not mean it warrants the term "condition." This implies there's something WRONG. The only thing wrong in this situation is the stupidity of others.


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## Wagimawr (Aug 6, 2006)

Can't calling someone an "anomaly" be just as offensive as telling them they have a "condition"?


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Aug 7, 2006)

Lots of beautiful anomalies occur in nature. My pale skin and blue eyes from two dark skinned and dark eyed parents: An anomaly. There is nothing inherently wrong with anomalies. Common sense here. Look at these sentences:

He's an anomaly.

He has a condition.

To assume someone is "sick" or incomplete or in need of major surgery that compromises their emotional, sexual, and physical wellness because their genitals bother other people says to me we live in a WORLD with a condition.


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## MoonGoddess (Aug 7, 2006)

_Hmm...I think that I perhaps would be considered an anomaly. I am rather proud of that. Being a bit different from everyone else is nothing to be ashamed of.

It's not my genitals though..._


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## sirumberto (Aug 7, 2006)

The best piece of wisdom I think I ever received was a little saying my mom had: "Normal is just a setting on the dryer."


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## MoonGoddess (Aug 7, 2006)

_Your mom sounds like a very wise woman!_ :bow:


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## sirumberto (Aug 7, 2006)

She is. I grew up in a rather conservative little town with a mostly absent father who wasn't a good very good one when I was with him. It probably looks weird on me that I mention her so much, but if it weren't for her and my grandmother, I'd probably be ignorant and adrift. I'd probably be through divorce number one already, because I probably would have been forced into a wedding from knocking some poor girl up after convincing her she couldn't get pregnant from the first time. Sooooo... yeah... I owe her for that little spark of madness that keeps me from blending into the background noise of rural America.

(And I'm not knocking rural America. I love it here, but man some of the people are... I don't have the right word, but it isn't good. Think jacked-up ford with huge tires and a confederate flag sticker on the back saying "Rebel Pride.")


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