# Fat Talk



## Leonard (Jul 24, 2006)

Like many males here, Im aroused by the idea of a woman gaining weight. Theres just something about a womans figure blossoming to become more voluptuous, more abundant, more feminine that drives me, dare I say it, _wild_. 

What turns me on just as much, however, is the idea of a woman gaining weight. When Im with a girl, imagining her beautiful belly burgeoning, her thighs thickening, her waist widening, (insert your anatomy-related alliteration here), gets me all hot and bothered. I suppose my problem is that when Im having these feelings, I have the tendency to share them. On more than one occasion I have been known to exalt my lovers fat ass or plump thighs in the throes of passion. 

This never goes over well, and Im not at all surprised. To many girls, the word fat is a four-letter word. Even women who are comfortable with their bodies rarely like having them referred to as fat during intimacy. I would never intentionally use disrespectful or hurtful language towards a woman during intimacy, so Im often abashed when my inner-thoughts make it out of my mouth. 

What turns me on even more is when a girl talks about gaining weight. When a girl talks about her breasts overflowing her bra, her belly spilling over her panties, or her thighs rubbing together from overindulgence, I literally cant contain myself. On once occasion a few months ago, a girl who knew of my preferences took me to her room (Im a college student) and began talking about what would happen to her body if she were to gain ten pounds, twenty pounds, fifty poundsyou get the idea. I never stood a chance. Sadly, the next time we got together she confessed to me that she had only done this because she knew I wouldnt be able to resist her if she did. She went on to explain that she didnt want to engage in fat talk anymore, because it made her uncomfortable. I was understanding, of course, but disappointed that she didnt take the same joy in these fantasies as I did. I thought I had found my dream-girl!

Is there anyone else her who enjoys fat talk? This seems like a kind of personal thing to talk about, so I apologize if my post provided too much information for some tastes. But what better place to discuss it than here, right?


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## GWARrior (Jul 24, 2006)

Im not into it, but for you? anything!

*giggles*


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## Leonard (Jul 24, 2006)

GWARrior said:


> Im not into it, but for you? anything!
> 
> *giggles*



Oh well, the search continues...


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## GWARrior (Jul 24, 2006)

fiinnee Ill be serious for a minute.

"Fat" just doesnt sound intimate or sensual. I certainly dont think its a bad word, but its just not sexy sounding (to me anyway).

That was no help at all, but Im tired.


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## Leonard (Jul 24, 2006)

GWARrior said:


> fiinnee Ill be serious for a minute.
> 
> "Fat" just doesnt sound intimate or sensual. I certainly dont think its a bad word, but its just not sexy sounding (to me anyway).
> 
> That was no help at all, but Im tired.



I entirely understand. I honestly wouldn't expect any girl to actually enjoy speaking or being spoken to in this way. Is it my fault that it gets my motor humming? I guess I've read too much weight-gain fiction.

As a footnote, I have encountered girls willing to tolerate lesser-synonyms such as "plump" or "thick". Inevitably though, they eventually confess that they'd prefer I didn't use any language of that sort, and I'm left feeling like a pervert.


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## GWARrior (Jul 24, 2006)

Leonard LePage said:


> I entirely understand. I honestly wouldn't expect any girl to actually enjoy speaking or being spoken to in this way. Is it my fault that it gets my motor humming? I guess I've read too much weight-gain fiction.
> 
> As a footnote, I have encountered girls willing to tolerate lesser-synonyms such as "plump" or "thick". Inevitably though, they eventually confess that they'd prefer I didn't use any language of that sort, and I'm left feeling like a pervert.




I dont think 'plump' or 'thick' would bug me at all. 'Fat' just doesnt work for me... and you don't sound like a perv.  

I just know Id want a guy to show me how sexy he thinks my body is. I can appreciate an honest attempt!


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## Observer (Jul 24, 2006)

Your're not a pervert, just a young FA in the process of learning wisdom.

I'm a three time granddad going for #4. My luscious BBW wife knows exactly what I think of her every ounce and I'm lucky that her appetite preludes her ever even trying to diet. But even though she has been the family fat chick all her life, is very successful in her field, and accepts my love and her size she's not proud enough of it to be comfortable with me constantly telling her what she knows I'm thinking.

She is even happy that I write stories designed to help BBWS and FAs and help moderate these bosrds, but she prefers not to come here herself. That, my lad, should tell you something about the mindset of all too many people of size. Why do you think groups like NAAFA don't have more supporters?

My advice to you? Find a large and lovely girl with whom you're compatible at every level. Let your eyes and face confirm your words when you tell her she's beautiful. Indulge her appetites without a murmur, help her buy clothes that display her best features withoout a murmur about the price. Somewhere along the way let your preference be well known. But don't expect her to enkoy being constantly told what you really think about her belly, chin and other parts.

Its not that you, I or any other hardwired FA is perverted. Its that these luscious ladies have been programmed to think a certain way and there's nothing to be done about it ubless they make the transition. Be happy with what you can get - they're really nice to share life with. They can tell your feelings by your caresses - you don't have to verbalize it.


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## Leonard (Jul 24, 2006)

Observer, thank you very much for your insightful post.

It's true that a little restraint goes a long way. I often censor myself during intimacy, 'cause that's just the sensible thing to do. Once and a while however, something manages to slip through the cracks. The results are never good.

I guess it may be because I'm a writer, but language is very important to me, and words carry a great deal of power. It's strange to think that no matter how attracted to a woman I am, it turns me on that much more to hear her refer to herself as plump, fat, or lament (or celebrate) her recent weight gain. 

I just wish I didn't have to sensor myself so much. Oh well, just something I need to get used to, I suppose.


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## Tina (Jul 24, 2006)

Leonard, you won't have to censor yourself with the right person, and the right person will love herself as is, and even if she doesn't want to gain, per se, she'll enjoy seeing what talking about gaining does to you, and won't be threatened by talking about it, the way it might threaten someone who isn't accepting of their own fat body. I can see that it might be a problem if that's all you want her to talk about and it becomes obsessive, but a bit of play like that seems pretty darned harmless.

I'm not sure that fat-talk specifically excites me, but occasionally I tease him a bit with that sort of thing. I will say that it excites me that my soft, fat bod excites my lover, and I like to hear about it, so it's all good.

I still laugh at my boyfriend showing me a picture he took of me while I was walking away from him one day. At first he thought I was upset when I mentioned just how HUGE my ass is. I was truly shocked, because it's not a view I usually see. I mean, I knew it was big, but I had no idea how disproportionately huge it looked in the picture. I marveled at the difference in width between my shoulders and my hips, and how my arms couldn't even get *close* to hanging straight down at my sides. Thing is, I thought it was cool and still do. I'm sure some people laugh at me, because it rather is out of proportion to the rest of me; but that's okay, I like my bum.

He does, too.


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## ripley (Jul 24, 2006)

Gaining talk doesn't do much for me, but "fat" or "huge" or something in the throes of passion? MORE than okay with me.  

Perhaps I'm mistaken, but I get the impression from your post that these are pretty casual encounters. I think that's part of your difficulty. If you find a steady girl, and build up trust in all sorts of areas, then she's most likely going to be more up for "play" talk. 

Here's how I see the evolution: First, she wonders if you _really _like her fat body. Secondly, she begins to accept from empirical evidence  that you do like it...a LOT. Thirdly, she begins to feel a rush of sexual power from being able to turn you on. That's when she will be more open to talking about fat, gaining fantasies, etc. Often being able to turn you on will turn her on. 

I don't think you're a pervert, as I believe a lot of men in our community have these thoughts. While there are few true gaining women (compared to the number of men that desire a gainer) there are many many many women that would be up for playing at it as a sexual game. And many more than that that would be up for hearing how their fat jiggly bellies or huge creamy thighs send you over the moon.  

Good Luck!


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## FatAndProud (Jul 24, 2006)

I loooove hearing a boy say, "wow look at that fat ass" doesn't mean if he means my bum or not! to me fat is a POSITIVE word. sometimes i feel down about it but others im like yay.

as far as gaining and what not? not into it...but i LOOOOOVE food.


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## eightyseven (Jul 24, 2006)

Being another young FA... I can kind of understand where you're coming from. However, I feel like your issue is more one of practice rather than theory. 

The problem is that you're dealing with big girls who our age- most of whom are still under the illusion that they are the inhabitant of a body that is not desirable in the slightest. Then they meet a young FA like us who's giving them positive attention... but I can TOTALLY understand why they might be upset with what you deem "fat talk." All women are exposed to objectification we cannot even dream of... so FINALLY when a girl feels good about herself because she's with a stud like you or I, then she has to feel the let down of passionate comments about:

1) The part of her body she's been taught to loathe her whole life, and
2) A feature that she knows you enjoy GENERALLY and not just about her

If you want to get the message across that you're attracted to her and not just her "fat," then I'd recommend you work to make comments that make the girl the focus. You can still mention all the parts of a woman's body that us FA's love, but make it HERS. Instead of talking about her "fat ass," say something more neutral like "You look magnificent." It gets the point across, and you still enjoy the benefit of expressing yourself about what you enjoy.


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## Red (Jul 24, 2006)

Tina said:


> Leonard, you won't have to censor yourself with the right person, and the right person will love herself as is, and even if she doesn't want to gain, per se, she'll enjoy seeing what talking about gaining does to you, and won't be threatened by talking about it, the way it might threaten someone who isn't accepting of their own fat body. I can see that it might be a problem if that's all you want her to talk about and it becomes obsessive, but a bit of play like that seems pretty darned harmless.
> 
> I'm not sure that fat-talk specifically excites me, but occasionally I tease him a bit with that sort of thing. I will say that it excites me that my soft, fat bod excites my lover, and I like to hear about it, so it's all good.
> 
> ...




*Here here, my dear!*


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## Emma (Jul 24, 2006)

I really enjoy 'fat talk' it really gets me going. heheh


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## plumpum (Jul 24, 2006)

I feel ya dog. Wow..that did not sound right! lol..Yes words have power..and unfortunately they have different meanings to different people, also it depends on the context. Consider the "N" word for a second and you will quickly see what I mean. 

I share all your views regarding what is erotic and would also like to share how difficult it has been for me to fully express my feelings. When I was dating fat women often they would mistrust me because they coulnd't figure out how a "nice looking guy" could ever be attracted to a fat woman. FAs/encouoragers are not super well known or I.D. now but "back in the day" they were vertually unheard of. My wife was shocked at my preferences when she first met me. She was chubby and thought she was fat..I of course thought she was too skinny, long story short, while we were married much to my delight, she went from 124 - 250. Some say why didn't you marry a fat woman in the first place, well what can I say, I feel in love with her! 

While making love if I ever called her fat it would have sent her in a tailspin. I think as the word "fat" gets out more in a positive weigh (like my pun?) it will be accepted more. Consider the word almost out of style word "phat" and now the program called "Moniques FAT chance",but its a long slow road.Trust me my friend when I say many beautiful fat women have been bombbarded with negative messages their whole lives. It is up to us FAs to help them realize their true beauty, I think that is priority #1. My advice, keep the "f" word out and substitute "soft and sexy" or something like that. Perhaps...after you know the lady very well and she trusts you completly and after you make it clear that FAT means sexy to you can you start to decscribe her as such. Hey I say fat now instead of "bigger, BBW, etc." and my wife does finally accept it...but NEVER obese she REEEEALLY hates that word..damn doctors lol.


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## Jes (Jul 24, 2006)

Obviously, some women like the word 'fat' and all it implies (like Em). I get called 'luscious' and 'yummy' and 'juicy' and those work (boy, do they ever) for me. I know they're allusions to my fat, but they're MORE than just a substitute. It's not that I have a problem being fat, but that word, while not rude or offensive, just isn't sexy to me. And, in some contexts, it can just feel weirdly objectifying, which is never sexy. I suppose it's the difference between saying: You're so tall! and You're so powerful and strong and manly (or whatever attributes you feel tallness lends). Maybe mix it up? 'Lusciously plump/fat thighs?'


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## The Obstreperous Ms. J (Jul 24, 2006)

eightyseven said:


> Being another young FA... I can kind of understand where you're coming from. However, I feel like your issue is more one of practice rather than theory.
> 
> The problem is that you're dealing with big girls who our age- most of whom are still under the illusion that they are the inhabitant of a body that is not desirable in the slightest. Then they meet a young FA like us who's giving them positive attention... but I can TOTALLY understand why they might be upset with what you deem "fat talk." All women are exposed to objectification we cannot even dream of... so FINALLY when a girl feels good about herself because she's with a stud like you or I, then she has to feel the let down of passionate comments about:
> 
> ...




Yes! Yes! Yes! Its just as easy to substitute honey for sugar. Leonard, if you insist on using the word fat, it might just take time in a long standing relationship for it to achieve the erotic power you associate with it.

It took me YEARS to accept FAT into my lexicon of empowerment. And if some FA wants to show up at my window with a boombox with Morrissey's "You're the One for me Fatty", well, I think I will be pleased as punch.


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## Carrie (Jul 24, 2006)

ripley said:


> Gaining talk doesn't do much for me, but "fat" or "huge" or something in the throes of passion? MORE than okay with me.
> 
> Perhaps I'm mistaken, but I get the impression from your post that these are pretty casual encounters. I think that's part of your difficulty. If you find a steady girl, and build up trust in all sorts of areas, then she's most likely going to be more up for "play" talk.



Agreed. When a fat woman is comfortable with herself and can see the lust and love in her partner's eyes, a well-placed "you naughty little fat girl" or the like can be pretty damn hot.


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## LynzeeMoon (Jul 24, 2006)

Fat talk does turn me on... but I can understand why some girls might not like it. That one comment about the "naughty little fat girl" was so hot by the way... if a guy said that to me... watch out hehe :smitten: I use the word fat so loosely now, I forget that people freak out by it because of such a bad stigma to it. I'm clearly fat... and when I talk about it sometimes people get embarrassed for me I think, and they'll say "ohhh you're not fat" just trying to be nice... I'm like HELLO are you looking at me... its ok I am and I like it!!! lol...  

My advice... start off with just telling her how sexy you think she is... or if you like her big ass touch her ass and tell her how much you love it... you gotta work in the fat talk after awhile... not right off the bat ya know what I mean?? If she digs it, pretty soon she'll be doing the fat talk saying things like "ohh you want my fat ass baby?" hehe and it'll be smoothe sailing from thereee  Good luck!!


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## Leonard (Jul 24, 2006)

ripley said:


> Perhaps I'm mistaken, but I get the impression from your post that these are pretty casual encounters. I think that's part of your difficulty. If you find a steady girl, and build up trust in all sorts of areas, then she's most likely going to be more up for "play" talk.
> 
> Here's how I see the evolution: First, she wonders if you _really _like her fat body. Secondly, she begins to accept from empirical evidence  that you do like it...a LOT. Thirdly, she begins to feel a rush of sexual power from being able to turn you on. That's when she will be more open to talking about fat, gaining fantasies, etc. Often being able to turn you on will turn her on.



Your impression is not altogether inaccurate. I had briefly dated the girl mentioned in my previous anecdote a year earlier, but we definitely hadn't built up much trust between us.

On the other hand, my girlfriend of a year never took to this sort of talk at all. She was well aware that she drove me absolutely mad, but any reference to the abundance of her body just put her off. This could have been for any number of reasons. She had gained about thirty pounds since the beginning of our relationship. Normally this would have sent my tongue wagging, and for a while it did, but the gain made her so insecure and miserable that I just felt guilty for enjoying it. Our relationship is currently on hiatus for entirely unrelated reasons. 

I agree that putting time into a relationship and building trust is important, but some girls aren't going to be into this sort of thing no matter how comfortable they feel around you. I just wish there were some sort of way to tell ahead of time, you know?


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## Jes (Jul 24, 2006)

Carrie said:


> Agreed. When a fat woman is comfortable with herself and can see the lust and love in her partner's eyes, a well-placed "you naughty little fat girl" or the like can be pretty damn hot.


oh, word! i like being called filthy names, but when I know my partner knows i'm not really filthy. it's all a question of balance. But, some people are never going to like it. Ever.


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## Carrie (Jul 24, 2006)

Leonard LePage said:


> This could have been for any number of reasons. She had gained about thirty pounds since the beginning of our relationship. Normally this would have sent my tongue wagging, and for a while it did, but the gain made her so insecure and miserable that I just felt guilty for enjoying it.



That's your answer right there - it's a two part equation, in my opinion, not solely a matter of the guy making it clear to the girl that he's hot for her. If the girl isn't comfortable and happy in her skin, she's not going to enjoy fat talk (which is not to say that all woman who ARE comfortable with themselves will enjoy it - just that it's unlikely to appeal to someone struggling with self-image).


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## activistfatgirl (Jul 24, 2006)

I like Ripley's comments best about the stages of being with a fat girl, and also agree that it's a trust thing.

I'm really turned on by fat talk, but I'm also upset by it (sometimes at the SAME TIME). It's a delicate balance. I agree with others that it's gotta be something that you work your way into, using generally appreciative terms.

Not so long ago, I encouraged a lover to fat talk to me. Usually our affairs remained rather silent with an occasional murmured "that is so...., you are so..." comment. After my assurances that I was totally into it, he went for it, and it changed EVERYTHING. It was incredible erotic to really talk about how fat I am openly, how much larger I am than he, etc, etc. I loved it.

But as I mentioned before, it still was a scary process for me. At one point he made a comment about being so fat, how could my legs hold me? (while on top). That balance for me was triggered, and I immediately wanted to sob. Triggered old feelings of fear and shame, I guess. 

I think for me it's about continuing to get used to it, and training my mind to not hear "You're so fat" and see my lover, not a group of kids in elementary school.


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## GWARrior (Jul 24, 2006)

activistfatgirl said:


> But as I mentioned before, it still was a scary process for me. At one point he made a comment about being so fat, how could my legs hold me? (while on top). That balance for me was triggered, and I immediately wanted to sob. Triggered old feelings of fear and shame, I guess.



That would probably make me cry and wanna slap him.


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## Leonard (Jul 24, 2006)

plumpum said:


> I think as the word "fat" gets out more in a positive weigh (like my pun?) it will be accepted more. Consider the word almost out of style word "phat" and now the program called "Moniques FAT chance",but its a long slow road.Trust me my friend when I say many beautiful fat women have been bombbarded with negative messages their whole lives. It is up to us FAs to help them realize their true beauty, I think that is priority #1. My advice, keep the "f" word out and substitute "soft and sexy" or something like that. Perhaps...after you know the lady very well and she trusts you completly and after you make it clear that FAT means sexy to you can you start to decscribe her as such. Hey I say fat now instead of "bigger, BBW, etc." and my wife does finally accept it...but NEVER obese she REEEEALLY hates that word..damn doctors lol.



You really hit the nail on the head, plumpum. Perhaps one day, Fat won't carry such a negative stigma. Perhaps it will just be another way to describe a person's body, the same way that words like "long" and "thick" can be used to describe a person's hair.

Just to set the record straight, I've never used to word "fat" during intimacy intentionally. It's always been an accidental ejaculation. Most times I use a substitute, as you so wisely suggested. They work fine, but they just don't carry the same oomph, you know? Congratulations on your relationship, though. For me, the f-word remains ever-elusive.


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## Carrie (Jul 24, 2006)

LynzeeMoon said:


> Fat talk does turn me on... but I can understand why some girls might not like it. That one comment about the "naughty little fat girl" was so hot by the way... if a guy said that to me... watch out hehe :smitten:



Word. It actually made me growl, which I had no idea I could even do.


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## Leonard (Jul 24, 2006)

activistfatgirl said:


> I'm really turned on by fat talk, but I'm also upset by it (sometimes at the SAME TIME). It's a delicate balance. I agree with others that it's gotta be something that you work your way into, using generally appreciative terms.
> 
> Not so long ago, I encouraged a lover to fat talk to me. Usually our affairs remained rather silent with an occasional murmured "that is so...., you are so..." comment. After my assurances that I was totally into it, he went for it, and it changed EVERYTHING. It was incredible erotic to really talk about how fat I am openly, how much larger I am than he, etc, etc. I loved it.



It seems most of us have a love/hate relationship with fat. For example, I love it, but my previous girlfriend hated it. 

Seriously though, sometimes it seems like such a sticky subject that I don't even know why I try to touch it. As Observer noted earlier, some things are best left communicated without words. 

Still, I think that if I could find a girl comfortable enough with herself and our relationship it would be the most rewarding experience the world has to offer.


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## SexxyBBW69 (Jul 24, 2006)

Leonard LePage said:


> Like many males here, Im aroused by the idea of a woman gaining weight. Theres just something about a womans figure blossoming to become more voluptuous, more abundant, more feminine that drives me, dare I say it, _wild_.
> 
> What turns me on just as much, however, is the idea of a woman gaining weight. When Im with a girl, imagining her beautiful belly burgeoning, her thighs thickening, her waist widening, (insert your anatomy-related alliteration here), gets me all hot and bothered. I suppose my problem is that when Im having these feelings, I have the tendency to share them. On more than one occasion I have been known to exalt my lovers fat ass or plump thighs in the throes of passion.
> 
> ...



There are a men on here that enjoy the same thing as you do.. some are Feeders who enjoy feeding their feedee to make them become bigger.. 
There is nothing wrong with that whatsoeve... I myself at one poing was willing to gain for somoene... & if I find someone else i just might as long as we have something btwn us


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## Blueyedevil173 (Jul 25, 2006)

I'm with you all the way, Lenny my friend. Fat talk does crazy things to me, and I sometimes try to test the waters a bit by telling her that I have a fetish for bellies, I love thick thighs, etc... Sometimes she will embrace it by cooing at you "do you like my chubby little belly?" or something like that...when you hear that, you're golden. 

I think the main problem is that we as FA's have found so much comfort and understanding on this very board, that we forget that most fat girls are NOT cool with being fat. It's sad but true. So as comfortable as we are in our preference, the chick you are with has likely never even heard of Dimensions, The Weight Board, or even the term FA. So she just thinks you are degrading her, or some sort of sick freak to get her naked, then make fun of her.

Think of it this way. 

Let's say there's a group of ladies out there with a website dedicated to the admiration of small penises. They love them, post pictures of them, even write stories about them. Do you want to hear about how small your dick is? Does it make you feel sexy? No. It makes you feel exactly the same way a big girl does when she hears something like "god I love your big fat sexy belly." 

Like I said, test the waters a bit. Find out exactly how comfortable she is with her size, and act accordingly. Personally, if I sense if a girl isn't happy with her size, I run for the hills. It's a world of hurt for an FA, and I've been there enough times to know when something isn't worth it.

On a side note, I have discovered that, oddly, you can almost always get away with using the word "fat" to describe the breasts...they're always cool with that. But call them titties.


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## Leonard (Jul 25, 2006)

Blueyedevil173 said:


> I have discovered that, oddly, you can almost always get away with using the word "fat" to describe the breasts...they're always cool with that. But call them titties.



Goodness, that is so true. Sadly, I've never been able to refer to breasts as "titties". The word evokes diminutive imagery when I hear it, and no slang term for breasts should evoke diminutive imagery.


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## GWARrior (Jul 25, 2006)

tttittttties


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## FatAndProud (Jul 25, 2006)

GWARrior said:


> tttittttties



Do you have a stuttering problem? lol


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## Leonard (Jul 25, 2006)

GWARrior said:


> tttittttties



What, are you just trying to get my goat now? 

Baa.


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## GWARrior (Jul 25, 2006)

im jusg drunk


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## elle camino (Jul 25, 2006)

i hate to even admit this, but i suppose that's what this place is for: i've never personally been with a guy with a pronounced preference for fat girls. an FA, i guess is what you crazy kids are calling them. this is not to say i'm inexperienced, or that the guys whom i've been with have been at all like, disrespectful of my size or whatever. just that i've never been with a boy who, for example, *preferred* my belly the size it is. so, like, i have a measure of sympathy of the girls the OP has dealt with. adjusting is difficult, especially when all of your worldy experience has left you with a sense of shame about your own body, and along comes some dude who LIKES it like that. it's incredibly liberating (er...i'd imagine it is), but at the same time i can see how it'd take a little time to become entirely comfortable with. there's always a measure of suspicion, for me personally. i always feel like i'm long overdue for unwitting participation in that classic 'dude i'll give you 50 bucks to kiss that fat girl over there' gag, to be quite honest. 
so, yeah. spend time with them, let them know in no uncertain terms that you are absolutely for real, and that the way they are is the way you _like_ girls to be, and start subtle and slow with the fat talk. i'm thinking it it will be worth the patience and effort, seeing as most repressed fat girls who've never been with guys who dig their bodies have an _extensive_ mental list of what they've always felt a little too uncomfortable with themselves to get into in the sack, and you've effectively just eliminated every single one of them. this is excellent news for you, trust me. 
that's just my two cents, speaking as someone who's never been there but has a good idea of what would work if she ever were.


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## exile in thighville (Jul 25, 2006)

Leonard LePage said:


> Like many males here, Im aroused by the idea of a woman gaining weight. Theres just something about a womans figure blossoming to become more voluptuous, more abundant, more feminine that drives me, dare I say it, _wild_.
> 
> What turns me on just as much, however, is the idea of a woman gaining weight. When Im with a girl, imagining her beautiful belly burgeoning, her thighs thickening, her waist widening, (insert your anatomy-related alliteration here), gets me all hot and bothered. I suppose my problem is that when Im having these feelings, I have the tendency to share them. On more than one occasion I have been known to exalt my lovers fat ass or plump thighs in the throes of passion.
> 
> ...



i love it. my advice: don't compromise what you want with someone who's half-hearted. you're not gonna be fully satisfied, and they're gonna be semi-uncomfortable and self-conscious trying to do it when it doesnt come naturally. gwarior's a sweetie but she clearly doesn't share your interest in this (sorry, it seems like the truth!). i only like to practice this sort of thing with someone who's 100% into it. it's like dirty talking...you can't just get a girl to do it who can't do it. it's way harder to make up that shit than it sounds. the trick is this. if you can't find a bona-fide feedee or someone with weightgain interests, find someone 100% comfortable with themselves, to the point of affable self-consciousness (i.e. constantly making observations about their fat, not negatively, but doesnt have to be erotic either). if not, and actually this is a better idea, find a bbw into dirty talking, maybe with some other kinks. if you can find someone into dirty talking who's a little kinky, all kinky men and women know the trick to satisfaction is compromise. then if she can dirty talk well, getting her to talk about her growing body would be a snap, and her comfort level should be good because of her kinkiness. then do stuff for her in return


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## Leonard (Jul 26, 2006)

dan ex machina said:


> i love it. my advice: don't compromise what you want with someone who's half-hearted. you're not gonna be fully satisfied, and they're gonna be semi-uncomfortable and self-conscious trying to do it when it doesnt come naturally. gwarior's a sweetie but she clearly doesn't share your interest in this (sorry, it seems like the truth!). i only like to practice this sort of thing with someone who's 100% into it. it's like dirty talking...you can't just get a girl to do it who can't do it. it's way harder to make up that shit than it sounds. the trick is this. if you can't find a bona-fide feedee or someone with weightgain interests, find someone 100% comfortable with themselves, to the point of affable self-consciousness (i.e. constantly making observations about their fat, not negatively, but doesnt have to be erotic either). if not, and actually this is a better idea, find a bbw into dirty talking, maybe with some other kinks. if you can find someone into dirty talking who's a little kinky, all kinky men and women know the trick to satisfaction is compromise. then if she can dirty talk well, getting her to talk about her growing body would be a snap, and her comfort level should be good because of her kinkiness. then do stuff for her in return



Thanks, Dan. All of this sounds like excellent advice. Of course, it seems that the biggest challenge is _finding_ a partner like the one you describe. I've never met anyone who I would consider a feedee, and I don't know how I would. In any case, you're absolutely right. For too long I've compromised my sexual desires for relationships that I believed would be otherwise emotionally and socially enriching. I won't be doing that the next time around. Finding that a girl like that remains a mystery, though.


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## freedombigirl (Jul 26, 2006)

I love 'fat talk', not many of my ex's were into it but it really turns me on! Wish I could meet another girl that likes it, that would be amazing.


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## LJ Rock (Jul 26, 2006)

Any relationship needs room to grow, and evolves over time. Rather focusing on finding someone who will help you satisfy your immediate sexual desires, try focusing on just meeting a quality person who you are attracted to and enjoy spending time with. 

Communication is also key in any relationship. So whenever you do meet someone who you are interested in romantically, there is going to come a point at which you are each going to talk about and share with one another your innermost thoughts and feelings, including any sexual fantasies, preferences or fetishes (dirty talk, fat talk etc.) This might occur before the two of you even begin to become physically intimate; emotional intimacy is just as important and, in a lot of ways, every bit as satisfying and thrilling as physical intimacy can be. 

You sound as though you are very intelligent and self aware, which is a big plus. You know who you are and what you like. You know that you are attracted to BBWs, and you are in tuch with your feelings enough to know that you have certain aspects of your self and your sexuality that you need to explore. All of this is good. I think a lot of folks go through their whole lives without really being aware of such tings. 

But, to paraphrase what someone here has already stated, love is a two way street (it takes two to tango... what have you. lol) A meaningful relationship requires both parties to give and take, and idealy, should allow each person to grow and feel free to be themselves as the two of you grow together. 

Having casual encounters is all well and good, and it is for many a pretty normal part of discovering themselves sexually (more often it allows us to discover what we don't want or like in a sexual partner!) I think that there will always be something lacking, some feelings or desires that go unchecked in these situations, because there is that lack of emotional intimacy. I believe that if two people who are really into one another can allow themselves some time to really get to know one another: their strength, weaknesses, likes and dislikes, it will allow for these sorts of very personal and intimate desires to really come through and be a lot easier to share and to deal with.

Those are just some of my thoughts on the situation. You can take it for whatever its worth.  To answer your initial question: I personally feel that 'fat talk' as you put can be extremely HOT under the right circumstances, and if the woman I am with is comfortable with it. I think that if your partner really knows and understands how you feel about them (love, respect, adoration) then they will be able to accept it as just fun sex-play and be able to participate much easier.


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## Tad (Jul 27, 2006)

LJ Rock said:


> Any relationship needs room to grow, and evolves over time. Rather focusing on finding someone who will help you satisfy your immediate sexual desires, try focusing on just meeting a quality person who you are attracted to and enjoy spending time with.
> 
> Communication is also key in any relationship. So whenever you do meet someone who you are interested in romantically, there is going to come a point at which you are each going to talk about and share with one another your innermost thoughts and feelings, including any sexual fantasies, preferences or fetishes (dirty talk, fat talk etc.)



Yes.....BUT simply knowing each others fetishes does not mean that you can somehow indulge them automatically. I adore my wife's plumpness, but one sure way to put a screeching halt to any intimate proceedings would be to draw attention to that--it is not a part of herself that shes views as sexy in any way, nor that she reallly approves of, so reminding her of how much I love it will take her from feeling passionate to icky pretty quickly.

Likewise, there is a thing or two that I know hits her buttons that I just really can't help her with, it just doesn't work with who I am (I won't go into more details, not mine to talk about). Just as my love of fat doesn't really work with who she is. We know these things about each other, love each other, and like to please each other, but.....things are still as they are.

Regards;

-Ed


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## wi-steve (Jul 27, 2006)

Tina, Lynzee... I think I was turned on just reading your posts. 

Steve


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## LJ Rock (Jul 27, 2006)

edx said:


> Yes.....BUT simply knowing each others fetishes does not mean that you can somehow indulge them automatically. I adore my wife's plumpness, but one sure way to put a screeching halt to any intimate proceedings would be to draw attention to that--it is not a part of herself that shes views as sexy in any way, nor that she reallly approves of, so reminding her of how much I love it will take her from feeling passionate to icky pretty quickly.
> 
> Likewise, there is a thing or two that I know hits her buttons that I just really can't help her with, it just doesn't work with who I am (I won't go into more details, not mine to talk about). Just as my love of fat doesn't really work with who she is. We know these things about each other, love each other, and like to please each other, but.....things are still as they are.
> 
> ...




That is true: simply knowing about eachother's "fetishes" doesn't necessarily lead to acceptance. Both parties have to be willing to listen and accept eachother at face value when they are getting to know one another. 

Again, communication and honesty are the key. If you are honest with yourself, first of all, about who you are as an individual, what your tastes, desires and needs are, then it makes it that much easier for you to be truly open and honest with a potential mate. Then, if two people can be truly open and honest with eachother about what theire needs, desires, and possible expectations are from a relationship, it makes it that much easier for both of you to decide whether or not this is the relationship for you. 

If it seems as though this person is not receptive to what you are putting down (in this case, if she was not at all receptive the idea of 'fat talk' or not remotely interested in exploring 'fat sexuality') then perhaps you have dialed a wrong number and you need to move on and keep searching.

By the same token, if you are talking to this person and you are not at all impressed by the things she has to offer (sexually, intellectually etc.) then it is your right to say "I need more than this" and keep on steppin'. 

But, if the line of communication is open and full of honesty from the very beginning (I'm talking about the first date, first phone call or chat, whatever) then at least the possility is there; you give eachother an opportunity to know something about yourselves and eachother, and, as long as there is a willingness to explore the possibilites and to see where an emotional connection might lead you, anything could happen. Honesty leads to opportunity.

On the other hand, priorities are also a factor when it comes to meeting people. The fact is, none of us are "perfect" and you will never find "the perfect mate." People will always have differences, and when you are trying to be in a relationship with someone, it is important to pick your battles carefully. So, maybe your girl doesn't like 'fat talk.' Okay, but does she have a good heart? Is she responsible and caring? Does she otherwise 'turn you on?' Does she exhibit qualities that you consider to be important in a gf/bf? 

These are questions you need to ask yourself, as well as asking yourself: How important to me are my sexual preferences/kinks? Is it really more important than finding a quality person that I can share my life with? Depending on where you are in your life, the answers could vary. 

People change, feelings change, and priorities change as time goes on and we all get older. What might seem like a big deal or something you can't live without at one phase in your life, might become completely insignificant at a later time when your priorities are different and you're in a different place emotionally.

PS - naturally, I am not addressing any one specific person with this post. I am speaking in generalities.


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## SexxyBBW69 (Jul 27, 2006)

edx said:


> Yes.....BUT simply knowing each others fetishes does not mean that you can somehow indulge them automatically. I adore my wife's plumpness, but one sure way to put a screeching halt to any intimate proceedings would be to draw attention to that--it is not a part of herself that shes views as sexy in any way, nor that she reallly approves of, so reminding her of how much I love it will take her from feeling passionate to icky pretty quickly.
> 
> Likewise, there is a thing or two that I know hits her buttons that I just really can't help her with, it just doesn't work with who I am (I won't go into more details, not mine to talk about). Just as my love of fat doesn't really work with who she is. We know these things about each other, love each other, and like to please each other, but.....things are still as they are.
> 
> ...



I dont mind being fat or even for the right person gaining some more.. if I know the person I am with loves my fat I love talking about it I love having my belly rubbed & making it jiggle for him hehehe he can adore my fat body I would love it....
Thats all I want to be me fat & loved...


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## Boteroesque Babe (Jul 28, 2006)

Mercy! Naughty sex whispers involving words like round, soft, plush, juicy, plump, ripe (one of my faves), jiggly, etc. are fericiously arousing to me. Even better in Italian. Love-teasing about certain of my favorite decadent bakery treats can get me going, too, when whispered at the right time. And damn me to hell, even feeder/gain talk can make me crazed. But then, I'm a dirty, dirty perv.

You've been given loads of creamy advice here, Leonard. I'll just add a word of comfort. You're young. I'm assuming the girls you're dating are young. Sexual maturity, including happily embracing one's kink and loving one's body, happens over time. As you get older and have older partners, the likelihood of finding your sexual soulmate will increase.

And you can jack up your odds by hanging around this place. Not all the young women here are self-accepting enough to really enjoy their size in bed, but the percentage is far higher than that of the genpop, and Dimensions is certainly giving them a head start. 

Great post and a very worthy query, Leonard. Good luck to you.


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## Mercedes (Jul 28, 2006)

I know I'm pretty unoriginal... But do you mind if I rewrite your post and substitute the sex?  Practically it's just the same stuff I'd be writing myself!



Leonard LePage said:


> Like many females here, Im aroused by the idea of a man gaining weight. Theres just something about a man's body growing to become more sexy, more abundant, more manly ~ that drives me, dare I say it, _wild_.
> 
> What turns me on just as much, however, is the idea of a man gaining weight. When Im with a guy, imagining his wonderful belly burgeoning, his thighs thickening, his increasing jiggle , (insert your anatomy-related alliteration here), gets me all hot and bothered. I suppose my problem is that when Im having these feelings, I have the tendency to share them. On more than one occasion I have been known to exalt my lovers fat ass or plump thighs in the throes of passion.
> 
> ...


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## Leonard (Jul 28, 2006)

Mercedes said:


> I know I'm pretty unoriginal... But do you mind if I rewrite your post and substitute the sex?  Practically it's just the same stuff I'd be writing myself!



No problem Mercedes, this thread should embrace all lovers of fat talk, regardless of gender. I imagine it's kind of a different ballgame with guys.

Boteroesque Babe - Thank you for your encouraging words. I hope you're right about Dimensions. It really depresses me that there are a slew of young women unhappy with their bodies because they don't fit into a specific size or shape.

SexxyBBW69 - Thank you for sharing your perspective. Where are women like you hiding? At Dimensions, apparently. With talk like that, I'm sure you get hit on all the time on these boards. Thanks for the great post!

LJ Rock and edx - You both made some really great points. Opening up the lines of communication can never be bad, but it also doesn't guarantee that they will be receptive to what you share. In the end it's all about what your priorities are. Right now I'd really like my next relationship to be one where I can freely express myself in a sexual context.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jul 28, 2006)

Talk about sex and boundaries. It doesn't take the romance out of things to say, "Hey, you know what turns me on? Talking about fat and curves. Would it bother you if I said something like your belly reminded me of a blossoming flower, growing fuller and more beautiful?" 

Here's an example of a good time to slip in fat talk, if a guy wanted to...

The other day, I had a Brazilian wax and my navel pierced. My boyfriend lives across the country, so I was on YIM talking to him about it. He expressed wanting to see; I took my clothes off and got on cam. He says something like, "That's hot." Then he goes on to say I have a pretty body, etc. Perfect time for him to say something like, "God, your belly/ass/thighs look so plump and fat and fertile. I just want to touch them." After wooing me and turning me on, it'd be harder for me to get pissed. See?


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## TraciJo67 (Jul 28, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Talk about sex and boundaries. It doesn't take the romance out of things to say, "Hey, you know what turns me on? Talking about fat and curves. Would it bother you if I said something like your belly reminded me of a blossoming flower, growing fuller and more beautiful?"
> 
> Here's an example of a good time to slip in fat talk, if a guy wanted to...
> 
> The other day, I had a Brazilian wax and my navel pierced. My boyfriend lives across the country, so I was on YIM talking to him about it. He expressed wanting to see; I took my clothes off and got on cam. He says something like, "That's hot." Then he goes on to say I have a pretty body, etc. Perfect time for him to say something like, "God, your belly/ass/thighs look so plump and fat and fertile. I just want to touch them." After wooing me and turning me on, it'd be harder for me to get pissed. See?



But TSL, your belly, ass & thighs are not plump and fat (lovely & fertile though you may be). Go eat a few dozen boxes of Twinkies, and get back to us :eat1:


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## The Fat Man (Jul 28, 2006)

I told my girlfriend a few months ago about what I like, I even showed her this site.. some of you folks posts on this very board, sites like BBW Cuties, BBW Pinups, Ivy's site.. that helped tons, showing her that there's a lot of normal well adjusted people out there with this same prefrence. As the months rolled by she's slowly worked stuff like rubbing her tummy, using words like "belly" and whatnot.. it just takes time and *talking* to your significant other. Rome wasn't built in a day, neither is working "fat talk" into your boy/girlfriends sexual vacab.


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## SexxyBBW69 (Jul 28, 2006)

I luv my belly rubbed... hehe


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## The Fat Man (Jul 28, 2006)

SexxyBBW69 said:


> I luv my belly rubbed... hehe



God I love big girls.. lol


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## Leonard (Jul 29, 2006)

The Fat Man said:


> I told my girlfriend a few months ago about what I like, I even showed her this site.. some of you folks posts on this very board, sites like BBW Cuties, BBW Pinups, Ivy's site.. that helped tons, showing her that there's a lot of normal well adjusted people out there with this same prefrence. As the months rolled by she's slowly worked stuff like rubbing her tummy, using words like "belly" and whatnot.. it just takes time and *talking* to your significant other. Rome wasn't built in a day, neither is working "fat talk" into your boy/girlfriends sexual vacab.



I think it's great that you showed this site to your girlfriend and that it enriched your relationship, The Fat Man. Last year I showed a girlfriend this site a few months into our relationship and she was really put off by it. She was about 240, and I think she was repelled by the whole idea of "big, beautiful, women" and the sub-culture behind it. It's like edx said in an earlier post, "simply knowing each others fetishes does not mean that you can somehow indulge them automatically".


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## SexxyBBW69 (Jul 29, 2006)

Leonard LePage said:


> I think it's great that you showed this site to your girlfriend and that it enriched your relationship, The Fat Man. Last year I showed a girlfriend this site a few months into our relationship and she was really put off by it. She was about 240, and I think she was repelled by the whole idea of "big, beautiful, women" and the sub-culture behind it. It's like edx said in an earlier post, "simply knowing each others fetishes does not mean that you can somehow indulge them automatically".



IM 240 & I enjoy this site.. only thing is sometimes I dont think Im big enough for what the Fa's on here really like.... I have been also trying to get on a website & havent heard anything Im guessing cause I am not big enough.. which doesnt make sense Im fat & I am beautiful or do I have to be 300+ to be really accepted  I sometimes think that..
but oh well


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## The Obstreperous Ms. J (Jul 29, 2006)

SexxyBBW69 said:


> IM 240 & I enjoy this site.. only thing is sometimes I dont think Im big enough for what the Fa's on here really like.... I have been also trying to get on a website & havent heard anything Im guessing cause I am not big enough.. which doesnt make sense Im fat & I am beautiful or do I have to be 300+ to be really accepted  I sometimes think that..
> but oh well




Honey,
Just be big of spirit and generosity, be true to who you are and what you want out of life. The FA that will want to be with you for who you are and not the weight that you are.
Patience, my dear, just a little patience...and if a guy ever asks you to change for him, then he is not the man for you.
:bow: 
and that was my afterschool special moment.
I wish you love, honeydoll. Its all that I can give.


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## SexxyBBW69 (Jul 29, 2006)

The Obstreperous Ms. J said:


> Honey,
> Just be big of spirit and generosity, be true to who you are and what you want out of life. The FA that will want to be with you for who you are and not the weight that you are.
> Patience, my dear, just a little patience...and if a guy ever asks you to change for him, then he is not the man for you.
> :bow:
> ...



:kiss2: Thank you


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## The Obstreperous Ms. J (Jul 29, 2006)

SexxyBBW69 said:


> :kiss2: Thank you




de nalgas. :doh: 
I mean, de nada


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## exile in thighville (Jul 29, 2006)

Leonard LePage said:


> Thanks, Dan. All of this sounds like excellent advice. Of course, it seems that the biggest challenge is _finding_ a partner like the one you describe. I've never met anyone who I would consider a feedee, and I don't know how I would. In any case, you're absolutely right. For too long I've compromised my sexual desires for relationships that I believed would be otherwise emotionally and socially enriching. I won't be doing that the next time around. Finding that a girl like that remains a mystery, though.



trust me, compromising might seem like the only way you might ever achieve that "ultimate fantasy" thing, but it's incredibly hard and awkward to "convert" someone to a fetish without some side effects seeping in (am i not fat enough for him? is he going to leave me if i gain the weight?) that lead to paranoia and distrust and ultimately miscommunication. wait it out.


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## Deryk_Shane (Jul 30, 2006)

I've talked to only a few women about my fantasies, two of them I ended up making love to, the second is now my very plump, very beautiful fiance.

She, however, doesn't see it that way. To her, fat is a 4-letter word. I can't make any reference to her being big, round, soft, etc. I can say I like her breasts, butt, thighs, stomach, while groping her flesh. But I do not dare call it fat or big or anything else.

This is a bit of story for such a small comment about the topic, but it's needed to show the context of the comment I made compared to how it truly was taken.

The first girl I was with was after a long courtship process, you can call it. She was a co-worker and talked for months and our conversations continually got more indepth into both my fantasies and her body-issues. I slowly let on that I liked girls with rounder figures, she started opening up about how she had lost 50 pounds since she moved back home from college where she 'porked up' drinking beer and eating pizza all day.

She was rather big in the butt despite losing the weight. She originally was very stick thin without much to notice as being bigger or smaller than it should. The weight gain went mostly to her butt and as she lost it, going back to near her original weight, her butt never did return. She was slightly embarrassed by it.

As our friendship took hold, I became more daring in my comments about her physique (avoid workplace harrassment laws and such isn't easy) while she expressed appreciation of my desires and would dress more attractive for me, knowing her looks were easy on my eyes. She liked to dress sexy, but with her bigger butt, she didn't feel like it was the case any more.

After quite a while, it became apparant that she was putting on some more weight as her regular 'non-tight' clothes were becoming tight. We started going out after work every night for drinks and I always offered to her to take her out to eat as a nightcap. She usually accepted, and when she would say she had no money, I offered to pay and she could never resist that.

In the next two months, I'd estimate that she gained an additional fifteen pounds mostly because of me. When she had threatened jokingly to wanting to go on a diet I offered an impromptu offer of $100 for every pound she gained. She originally was taken aback by it, and then remarked that she might as well make money on something that was going to happen anyways.

The next day she did confirm that she wasn't serious, it was just the alcohol talking. Her weight was steady for the next month, until one night after work something had changed. I no longer was her confidant to weight-related issues. Getting drunk with her, she admitted in an off-handed way that she was attracted to me because I enjoyed the way she looked.

I was too drunk to get her meaning, so we went home seperately and went about our daily routine as if nothing had happened for about two weeks. Again after work one night, we were out getting something to eat when she finally clued me in to what I was apparantly missing. We ended up going for a drive together and talked the whole way. We ended up in Maryland around 5am. I admit, that I drove away from home for a reason. Throughout the trip, we talked about girls at work who either had large breasts, had gained weight, wore unflattering clothing, or were in some way attractive to either me or her. She finally asked if we could get a hotel room and drive home in the morning.

I did. By what can only be deemed divine providence, the only room left at the hotel was a a single queen. We laid on the bed, fully clothed, and talked. I didn't want to impose. She didn't want to take me. So we talked. She then leaned in and kissed me. I embraced her, bringing my hand down to her round butt and before I could know what I was saying, uttered "I love your big ass."

She pulled away for a second and I feared the worst. She smiled. Looked me in the eye and came in and kissed me again, and didn't say anything. The next morning she was already up and dressed when I woke up. The drive home was obviously much different.

We stopped at Pizza Hut on the way home, and she barely ate. We drove some more and it finally came out in a quick exchange that she didn't like the big ass comment, but didn't stop because she was too horny and didn't want to be left in Maryland by herself if I had gotten mad at her for stopping.

That changed our entire relationship. We didn't do it again, and we didn't go out to eat anymore. We still talked at work, and ocassionally brought up our favorite topic, other girls in the office gaining weight. But it wasn't the same anymore. And she had really started to put on weight. And again, it started all going to her butt like it did before. By this time I had stopped talking to her and she became a pissy, defiant ***** who hated every minute being at work. Partly because of me, partly because she never looked comfortable in her choice of often too-tight clothing, and mostly because she knew that all of that was exciting me more.

We had a confrontation just before she quit. I had started making her fat, she claimed, and by the time the hotel incident happened, she had lost her ability to keep the weight off that she had mastered until she met me. And I was the sole reason for her being fat and unhappy. And she hated that I found joy in it.

That was almost four years ago. I stopped writing for almost a year after that happened. It was too sad and depressing. I enjoyed a girl's big butt, and the one girl I thought was perfect for me, turned into my biggest dark spot. I saw her recently, she is a little bigger than I last saw her, and with a lot of weight still settled around her thighs and butt. She was wearing dark blue sweat pants that were a little tight and a big baggy t-shirt that sat on top of her 'shelf-butt'.

Deryk Shane


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## Leonard (Jul 30, 2006)

SexxyBBW69 said:


> IM 240 & I enjoy this site.. only thing is sometimes I dont think Im big enough for what the Fa's on here really like.... I have been also trying to get on a website & havent heard anything Im guessing cause I am not big enough.. which doesnt make sense Im fat & I am beautiful or do I have to be 300+ to be really accepted  I sometimes think that..
> but oh well



I think what I was trying to say was that she was offended that I recommended this site to her because she felt she was being "lumped in" with girls that were much heavier than she was. You're clearly very confident in your appearance. Therefore, you don't think of it as being "lumped in" with anyone. 

I'd recommend this site to girls of any size. There are a lot of people who would benefit from knowing how large the spectrum of beauty can be. But I guess I'm just preaching to the choir, huh?


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## SexxyBBW69 (Jul 30, 2006)

Leonard LePage said:


> I think what I was trying to say was that she was offended that I recommended this site to her because she felt she was being "lumped in" with girls that were much heavier than she was. You're clearly very confident in your appearance. Therefore, you don't think of it as being "lumped in" with anyone.
> 
> I'd recommend this site to girls of any size. There are a lot of people who would benefit from knowing how large the spectrum of beauty can be. But I guess I'm just preaching to the choir, huh?



I am confident of it & I love it even more when I am with someone who likes my fat...
unfortunately now if I can find me one


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## out.of.habit (Jul 30, 2006)

Leonard LePage said:


> Oh well, the search continues...



I've been reading this thread for a couple of days while trying to conjure a less-trite way to say what I am about to type. I apologize that it hasn't gotten better than this:

This woman exists. Whether she is currently in your life, currently on Dimensions, or yet to be seen, she exists. You're not going to have to compromise your desires in order to be loved and accepted by a bbw, and it won't be a case of her _letting _you speak "fat talk" to her. I see love as an honest concept; this honesty, and the safety to be this honest is worth holding out for. It is worth it to feel like you can be fully yourself and not hold back for fear of anger, hurt feelings, and shame. I am not proposing that bbws don't have a right to these feelings, or that these feelings are not okay for them to feel, but I am implying that the woman you fall for may be rather open to the idea of fat being a descriptor or asset rather than a judgement. These women are everywhere, but the problem is that it is much more socially acceptable to be shameful of one's bountiful body, and sometimes (definitely not all the time) proud fat women aren't exactly screaming it from the rooftops. Meanwhile you'll hear the shame on every avenue regardless of size.

While it might be a gradual process, I suspect that your attraction will be piqued with at least moderately confident and comfortable fat girls. When you hear a woman use the word 'fat' without shame or malice, you may be on to something good. 

I hope this was coherent... I've got a lot of thoughts on the subject, and I am not entirely confident that it came out the way I'd hoped. I just wanted to add another supportive voice.


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## tinkerbell_22 (Aug 1, 2006)

Hmm I'm bad at phrasing my thoughts on paper so bear with me . Reading through the threads it seemed to me that you just need to be patient and find a girl with the same preference as you. I know this can be SO hard though because I went through the same thing as you except opposite. Haha I'm a little embarrassed to say this but why not...I actually wanted a boyfriend who would call me fat and "fat talk" with me. I am by no means fat but just the thought of it has always turned me on and I have always wished that I was. Its something thats a HUGE turn on for me but I could never work up the courage to tell anyone...sorry I'm rambling. Anyway the point is that you should hold out some hope...I dated this guy for about a year and a half and finally told him of my preference.(with a little help from this board I might add) He didn't find it weird at all and actually kind of kinky. He told me that he actually found girls who were chubby more attractive...and has been trying to fatten me up for the past year. We fat talk all the time now and I think its extremely hot. Well anyway I just wanted to tell you this because it means that there are girls like me out there, we might just be too shy to say anything about it. Who knows your dream girl might even be skinny waiting for a guy like you to fatten her up like me. I hope that you find the girl your looking for...I'm sure she's out there somewhere.


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## Leonard (Aug 2, 2006)

Deryk_Shane said:


> We laid on the bed, fully clothed, and talked. I didn't want to impose. She didn't want to take me. So we talked. She then leaned in and kissed me. I embraced her, bringing my hand down to her round butt and before I could know what I was saying, uttered "I love your big ass."
> -----------------------------------------------------------------
> We had a confrontation just before she quit. I had started making her fat, she claimed, and by the time the hotel incident happened, she had lost her ability to keep the weight off that she had mastered until she met me. And I was the sole reason for her being fat and unhappy. And she hated that I found joy in it.



Deryk, thank you very much for sharing this experience. I think it's one a lot of people can relate to, and I know I certainly can. This post was really powerful and heart-rending, because it just goes to show how difficult it can be to express yourself when your preferences don't conform to what society thinks of as acceptable. 

It's frustrating having this preference sometimes because of the resentment it can potentially breed between partners. I was in a relationship a couple years ago when, just as you did I made a remark about her posterior during our first time together. After I blurted that I loved her "fat ass" (yes, I used the f-word), she didn't want to go on. I managed to explain her what those words meant to me, and how it differed from when other people used the language, and all was well...that night. Luckily, I never use that sort of language with her again.

I might have won the battle but I had lost the war. When our relationship went sour a couple months later, she really let me have it. She told me that I was the reason why she hated her body, that she had never thought of herself as fat until I came along. The fact was, she wasn't fat. Pleasantly plump maybe, curvy definitely, but not fat. She told me that my compliments were insults to her, because when I said "You look beautiful in that dress" it meant "You look fat in that dress". I tried to explain that this wasn't true, but the damage had been done. She transferred to another school the next year and we haven't spoken since.

For a long time this experience made me feel like a monster, and I still wince when I think about it. To think that a woman I cared for so much could hold me responsible for her own self-loathing is heart-breaking. I still think about her often. 



out.of.habit said:


> This woman exists. Whether she is currently in your life, currently on Dimensions, or yet to be seen, she exists. You're not going to have to compromise your desires in order to be loved and accepted by a bbw, and it won't be a case of her _letting _you speak "fat talk" to her. I see love as an honest concept; this honesty, and the safety to be this honest is worth holding out for. It is worth it to feel like you can be fully yourself and not hold back for fear of anger, hurt feelings, and shame. I am not proposing that bbws don't have a right to these feelings, or that these feelings are not okay for them to feel, but I am implying that the woman you fall for may be rather open to the idea of fat being a descriptor or asset rather than a judgement. These women are everywhere, but the problem is that it is much more socially acceptable to be shameful of one's bountiful body, and sometimes (definitely not all the time) proud fat women aren't exactly screaming it from the rooftops. Meanwhile you'll hear the shame on every avenue regardless of size.



Out.of.habit, thank you for this optimistic post. As I've said before, I want my next relationship to be one where I can express myself freely without fear of hurting my partner. I think that you're right, a relationship like that is worth waiting for.



tinkerbell_22 said:


> the point is that you should hold out some hope...I dated this guy for about a year and a half and finally told him of my preference.(with a little help from this board I might add) He didn't find it weird at all and actually kind of kinky. He told me that he actually found girls who were chubby more attractive...and has been trying to fatten me up for the past year. We fat talk all the time now and I think its extremely hot. Well anyway I just wanted to tell you this because it means that there are girls like me out there, we might just be too shy to say anything about it. Who knows your dream girl might even be skinny waiting for a guy like you to fatten her up like me.



tinkerbell_22, your post was very encouraging as well. This thread has been really great, as I've never really felt comfortable discussing this with any of my friends. I mean, "fat talk"? To someone who doesn't understand that's pretty weird! I can definitely see why a girl like yourself would be apprehensive about expressing this preference to a partner. In any case, I hope you're right. If there are more girls like you out there, I certainly hope I find one. And I'll keep a lookout for the skinny ones, too. Fat talk is fun with thin girls, too. It just requires more imagination!


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## activistfatgirl (Aug 2, 2006)

I don't know how I made it through this thread without some sort of obnoxious "come-hither" flirting aimed at the OP.

Why miss a good opportunity?

Haaaaaaay there big guy! I'll let ya fat talk my fine self! *wink wink*


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## sirumberto (Aug 3, 2006)

Ok, I've been lurking here for a little while and, I just had to sign up to post in this thread. I'm male, I've been partial to big girls for quite some time, and I'm married to a woman who fits that description. We've been together for a few years now and it's been tough getting her to accept her body type. For the longest time she didn't even believe that *I* liked her body. For some reason all the random groping, kissing, nibbling, etc... didn't seem to convince her.

At first she'd say things like "I'm such a fatty," and I would always reply that she wasn't. Well, after a while I finally got up the courage to respond with "So? You say that like it's a bad thing. Stop being so hard on yourself. I love you, and I love your body." I held my breath and waited for the worst , but she seem to take it fairly well. No explosions, no crying. Just a bit of surprise. Since then she still isn't very comfortable with her body, but at least she now recognizes that I do in fact love her body. She even occasionally says that she kinda likes her butt and is ok with her tummy and thighs. (The fact that she loves tummy kisses helps there.)

She still hates her upper arms and back though, and I'm pretty sure she'll hate her arms 'til the day she dies, but at least I've been making progress. Unlike the original poster, I'm pretty neutral to fat talk. I think it would be kinda fun, but I can certainly do without it. What I think we have in common however, is the desire for the target of our affections to be comfortable in their skin. Lots of soft... smooth... kissable skin... AHEM! Sorry.  The point is... actually I don't remember what my point was.

Well, whatever it was, I'd say there are three main options for you here:

1. Find a girl who likes fat talk. This could be tough as most women are pretty well conditioned to hate every ounce of fat on their bodies that isn't in their breasts, and there is no guarantee that any other aspect of your relationship will be good even if you do find such a gal.

2. Find a girl that you just click with and just be patient with her. Find someone who's everything else you've dreamed of beyond the fat talk. Reassure her that you love her body, and when the time is right, remind her that "fat" doesn't have to be a four letter word. The downside here is that this may take a LOT of time and patience on your part for something that may never happen. There's no guarantee that she'll ever enjoy or even accept fat talk.

3. Give up on fat talk. Honestly, I'm not sure this is healthy or even possible for you. Everyone is different, but the way you say that you blurt it out sometimes leads me to think that repressing this forever just isn't gonna work for you.

Life is full of compromises, but don't make any you can't live with. Remember there are LOTS of women out there, and judging from some of the responses in this thread at least a few of them enjoy being told that you think they're fat and that you wouldn't want it any other way.

Good luck and sorry for the long post.


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## Scandi (FFA) (Aug 3, 2006)

Leonard LePage said:


> Like many males here, Im aroused by the idea of a woman gaining weight. Theres just something about a womans figure blossoming to become more voluptuous, more abundant, more feminine that drives me, dare I say it, _wild_.
> 
> What turns me on just as much, however, is the idea of a woman gaining weight. When Im with a girl, imagining her beautiful belly burgeoning, her thighs thickening, her waist widening, (insert your anatomy-related alliteration here), gets me all hot and bothered. I suppose my problem is that when Im having these feelings, I have the tendency to share them. On more than one occasion I have been known to exalt my lovers fat ass or plump thighs in the throes of passion.
> 
> ...



*Leonard LePage:* Yes, I think fat talk is very erotic (really turns me on). Just reading this you've published here, is very erotic ;-)

Fat talk is something very positive (even though the most of the World considered "fat" like something negative!). Actually the fat-talk-teasing part is something very hot (for me).


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## Leonard (Aug 3, 2006)

activistfatgirl said:


> Haaaaaaay there big guy! I'll let ya fat talk my fine self! *wink wink*



YOWZA! YOWZA! YOWZA!

What are you trying to do to me over there, lady? You better watch out. Any more talk like that and I just might take you up on the offer!


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## activistfatgirl (Aug 3, 2006)

Leonard LePage said:


> YOWZA! YOWZA! YOWZA!
> 
> What are you trying to do to me over there, lady? You better watch out. Any more talk like that and I just might take you up on the offer!



Sounds good. Just as long as you're not kicking homeless folks at the same time. A total turn off.


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## Leonard (Aug 3, 2006)

activistfatgirl said:


> Sounds good. Just as long as you're not kicking homeless folks at the same time. A total turn off.



Let's get one thing straight. The homeless and I have an _understanding_, okay? We have a mutual, unspoken respect for one another.

I'll meet you in half an hour at the Slurp 'n' Go. Don't be late.


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## activistfatgirl (Aug 3, 2006)

Leonard LePage said:


> Let's get one thing straight. The homeless and I have an _understanding_, okay? We have a mutual, unspoken respect for one another.
> 
> I'll meet you in half an hour at the Slurp 'n' Go. Don't be late.



Good god, I don't even know what a Slurp 'n Go is! Google, don't fail me now!


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## Forgotten_Futures (Aug 4, 2006)

Well, let's see... I'm at a bit of a disadvantage here, having never BEEN in a relationship but... from the sound of it all, I think I'd be more for fat-talk than against it, but I could easily hold it back if I was with a girl who didn't like it... I think looks and touching would more than get my point across anyway. For my part, I make a concerted effort to discourage girls who aren't in the least bit overweight and have this issue with dieting that they... aren't overweight, don't need to diet, and are in fact very good looking. Yay for shameless flirting with a girl you're never gonna go out with. I figure the least I can do until I have a girl to love is try and make all the other girls feel a little better about their bodies. Of course, some girls will never take "your <insert body part here> looks really good like that" as a compliment... somehow I haven't been slapped yet either... go figure. 'Course, as a rule of thumb I never mention bellies, even though that is my personal favorite can-not-look-away zone (there needs to be a law against ugly people and uglier older women wearing belly shirts damnit!) *sighs* I'm getting off track but...

Oh, yeah, I too like the idea of a woman gaining, but outside of fantasy, I put a cap at plump, in most cases. Body shape has a lot to do with a girl's max weight, but for me the real issue is someone who's soft, curvy, and of course, happy with themselves. If I can find that much (as well as everything else) in a girl, I'll be a happy guy.


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## exile in thighville (Aug 5, 2006)

Deryk_Shane said:


> I've talked to only a few women about my fantasies, two of them I ended up making love to, the second is now my very plump, very beautiful fiance.
> 
> She, however, doesn't see it that way. To her, fat is a 4-letter word. I can't make any reference to her being big, round, soft, etc. I can say I like her breasts, butt, thighs, stomach, while groping her flesh. But I do not dare call it fat or big or anything else.
> 
> ...



i'm very, very sorry to hear this. it's a really sad story. you're a very talented writer and you really did nothing wrong after all those weeks of not-so-subtly letting her know what you dig. but my advice for everyone here is that while it's possible to "convert" a previously insecure girl to enjoying more weight on her, the types who make an effort to and successfully lose 50 pounds are usually too far gone on the fatphobic side of things to enjoy partaking in a living wg fantasy. i just don't understand why she hated you for the inevitable weightgain rather than embracing you as the person who'd appreciate it. what did she say to you after you ran into her bigger self again recently?


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## Deryk_Shane (Aug 5, 2006)

Honestly, I hid from her and hoped she didn't see me. There was a lot more messier end to the breakup part of things than I let on after the incident on the bed.

I haven't seen her since, that's been about a year ago or more.

Deryk Shane


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## exile in thighville (Aug 5, 2006)

Deryk_Shane said:


> Honestly, I hid from her and hoped she didn't see me. There was a lot more messier end to the breakup part of things than I let on after the incident on the bed.
> 
> I haven't seen her since, that's been about a year ago or more.
> 
> Deryk Shane



that sucks. you're one of my favorite authors here, i just wanted to say. i came into discovering i was an FA around 14 after kind of "transferring" from big breast sites and through my teens slowly developed less of a preference for bewbs and more for serious ass and hips. it's probably your fault. you'd very much approve of my girlfriend, a mid-sized pear who gets it from her mom. and yeah, spraychel's hottt.


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## fatgirl33 (Aug 5, 2006)

Fat talk has always been very big around here (pun intended), especially for purposes of intimacy. However, as has been mentioned a couple of times, sometimes a certain word does not sit well with someone, and it is out of simple common courtesy that we don't use those words.


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## elggij (Aug 5, 2006)

I love all the words, they turn me on and my wife and I use them during sex: fat, sloppy, flabby, squishy, saggy, hanging fat, jiggling, tub o' lard, fat sow. etc. I'd love to talk fat with anyone by e-mail.


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## love dubh (Aug 5, 2006)

elggij said:


> I love all the words, they turn me on and my wife and I use them during sex: fat, sloppy, flabby, squishy, saggy, hanging fat, jiggling, tub o' lard, fat sow. etc. I'd love to talk fat with anyone by e-mail.



fat sow? tub o' lard? sloppy? those don't sound very erotic and sensual. they sound denegrating. i despise those words.


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## Carrie (Aug 5, 2006)

maire dubh said:


> fat sow? tub o' lard? sloppy? those don't sound very erotic and sensual. they sound denegrating. i despise those words.



Yep. Big difference between loving, erotic fat talk and degrading fat talk.


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## Jack Skellington (Aug 5, 2006)

elggij said:


> I love all the words, they turn me on and my wife and I use them during sex: fat, sloppy, flabby, squishy, saggy, hanging fat, jiggling, tub o' lard, fat sow. etc.



You call your wife sow, sloppy and tub of lard? 

Would you find it sexy if she called you stuff like tiny, flaccid and impotent? 

"You fat ugly sow"

"You pathetic, dickless, poor excuse for a man"

Oh, yeah, that's sooooo hot and sexy.


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## sirumberto (Aug 5, 2006)

Jack Skellington said:


> You call your wife sow, sloppy and tub of lard?
> 
> Would you find it sexy if she called you stuff like tiny, flaccid and impotent?
> 
> ...



Some people get off on humiliation. I'm not saying that's the case for them. Just saying it happens.


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## love dubh (Aug 5, 2006)

That's pretty lame. So far, I've seen it as pretty one sided. When the girls talk about how they describe their BHM, they aren't calling them lardass and tubbo. Then take, for instance, the wg stories written. The guy's always call their feedees (99% of the time, women) pigs, cows, and other debasing names. And what if these guys who write the stories, and the guys who read the stories, are now bringing this attitude into the bedroom? That's unfucking cool.


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## Leonard (Aug 6, 2006)

maire dubh said:


> That's pretty lame. So far, I've seen it as pretty one sided. When the girls talk about how they describe their BHM, they aren't calling them lardass and tubbo. Then take, for instance, the wg stories written. The guy's always call their feedees (99% of the time, women) pigs, cows, and other debasing names. And what if these guys who write the stories, and the guys who read the stories, are now bringing this attitude into the bedroom? That's unfucking cool.



Wow, I really didn't expect that this thread would go in this direction.

I agree maire dubh, I don't think any of those things are okay. They wouldn't work for me, but then again, there have been people on this thread who have said _any_ kind of "fat talk" doesn't work for them. I guess this is just another kind.


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## The Shredder (Aug 6, 2006)

I lost the love of my life because of "Fat Talk". Basically like you leonard I would just get so hyped up when I heard anything weight related. Eventually I would get so caught up in the fantasy that I simply became bothersome. So ultimately I was left on account of my ''sickness'' or obsession if you will. We had so much on common though, she was my dream girl and I blew it. I learned the hardest way. Final Thought... sometimes I feel like being an FA is a curse, obviously because my heart was ripped from my chest and evicerated recently; all beacause of what I prefer. The only thing I had to do to save our relationship was just give it up, but I couldn't. Letting go comes with maturity I guess.... Btw Im new to dimensions, found it years back but never posted. I was forced to supress my feelings due to the kind of father I had. Im over it now. That is my take on ''Fat Talk'', rather pecimistic. Bottom line it and my appearent lack of self control effectively destroyed my love life.


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## SexxyBBW69 (Aug 6, 2006)

The Shredder said:


> I lost the love of my life because of "Fat Talk". Basically like you leonard I would just get so hyped up when I heard anything weight related. Eventually I would get so caught up in the fantasy that I simply became bothersome. So ultimately I was left on account of my ''sickness'' or obsession if you will. We had so much on common though, she was my dream girl and I blew it. I learned the hardest way. Final Thought... sometimes I feel like being an FA is a curse, obviously because my heart was ripped from my chest and evicerated recently; all beacause of what I prefer. The only thing I had to do to save our relationship was just give it up, but I couldn't. Letting go comes with maturity I guess.... Btw Im new to dimensions, found it years back but never posted. I was forced to supress my feelings due to the kind of father I had. Im over it now. That is my take on ''Fat Talk'', rather pecimistic. Bottom line it and my appearent lack of self control effectively destroyed my love life.



I am sorry to hear what happened to you.... I know maybe most will not agree with me & some will but in my heart I believe when 2 people love each other there is acceptance of who the other truly is & understanding.... you do not have a sickness & it sadness me for you to even have to say that.. I am a big believer in 1 thing REAL love is being who you are & having the other person love you for who you are 100% you should never have to hide a part of you & this part is a big part. 

In our lives we all lose someone we felt was the love of our lives I have I had a fantastic guy I left because there was things about me that I hid & I knew he wouldnt have liked but after years I wonder after dating so many jerks & not finding someone as great as him did I make a mistake I think yes but them I remember would he love me & want me for who I am today or would I have to do what I always did years ago be the person everyone wanted me to be? Now i think no because I want to be loved for me & everything about me. I dont expect someone to enjoy everything I like as I wouldnt him but Love well I feel love makes us want to understand & open our minds to what makes the other happy & not get them to change what makes them who they are but to be willing to share this with them...

Can I tell you my whole life I lived that being thin was the only way to be .. not too long ago I was disgusted of my fat body of my belly I met someone who showed me that fat is beautiful & that I still am beautiful (unfortunately we both wanted something different) and when we met I would never ever in a million years let someone rub my belly but I cared for him alot & well I saw what he liked & well I ate, jiggled my belly, loved to have my belly rubbed & talked about gaing more during sex which I was going to do.. 

MY point to this story is...... when u truly care for someone you open your mind to what they like instead of having them feel like they have a sickness & leaving because they are being & sharing a big part of themselves & if they do that did they loved you as much as you loved them?

sorry for the long post & again this is how I feel about what love should be... 
so I am not here to debate whats right or wrong

but dont worry who you were meant to be you will find her & she will be all that you wanted & you can fat talk her all the time..... unfortunatly we have to go thru some heartaches to find that person but in the end it was well worth it & you never know you just may find her here...


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## SexxyBBW69 (Aug 6, 2006)

sirumberto said:


> Some people get off on humiliation. I'm not saying that's the case for them. Just saying it happens.



I think that is "almost" in the lines of Dom/sub reationships where the Dom degrades the sub well I wont say the words here & the sub loves it... which Im thinking is just a preference for 2 people who enjoy that kind of sex play & that Fat talk that most are talking about here is more of the adoring way. I wouldnt let anyone call me a cow or degrade me unless it made me purrrr in bed but its not my thing but he can call my ass, belly tits whatever fat anyday & grab onto it all he wants ok Im being fresh here hehehe
I need my belly rubbed


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## Carrie (Aug 6, 2006)

The Shredder said:


> I lost the love of my life because of "Fat Talk". Basically like you leonard I would just get so hyped up when I heard anything weight related. Eventually I would get so caught up in the fantasy that I simply became bothersome. So ultimately I was left on account of my ''sickness'' or obsession if you will. We had so much on common though, she was my dream girl and I blew it. I learned the hardest way. Final Thought... sometimes I feel like being an FA is a curse, obviously because my heart was ripped from my chest and evicerated recently; all beacause of what I prefer. The only thing I had to do to save our relationship was just give it up, but I couldn't. Letting go comes with maturity I guess.... Btw Im new to dimensions, found it years back but never posted. I was forced to supress my feelings due to the kind of father I had. Im over it now. That is my take on ''Fat Talk'', rather pecimistic. Bottom line it and my appearent lack of self control effectively destroyed my love life.



I feel like an important message has somehow been lost in this thread. 

I'm hearing a lot of "I ruined everything because I used this word," or "I broke us up because I called her this". Guys, keep in mind that while the words you used may have contributed to the breakup, that it takes two to tango. A fat woman who is completely comfortable with her body and loves herself as she is is not going to freak out because you make some sort of reference to her size. By that I don't mean that all fat women love being called fat, or being told that our jiggly thighs are so hot or whatever - we all have different buttons that beg for pushing, and that's part of what keeps life interesting. 

But if your girl seems to be horrified by any mention you might make of her size, whether in the throes of passion or in everyday life, that to me is an indication that she herself is not comfortable with it, or accepting of it. And that's going to cause all sorts of problems in any relationship. So before pointing the finger at yourself for daring to tell the woman you love what you found attractive about her, consider that she perhaps just wasn't ready to hear it - and harsh as it may sound, that's her problem to work on, not yours. You can't build someone else's self esteem, no matter how much you love her. 

Learning to love one's body is a journey that takes time and life experience, so I think it's unusual for younger women to arrive there before their older counterparts - so I feel for you younger guys. I know it's difficult to find a fat girl your age who is very comfortable and secure in her body. It's not impossible, of course; there are lots of younger women here at Dim who fit the bill, but I do think they're the wonderful exception to a sad rule.

I encourage you "It's all my fault" guys to go back and re-read this thread. There are lots of responses from women here who think fat talk, used appropriately and when accompanied by a look of utter and complete lust and desire, is quite fucking hot. 

Consider us living proof that you can have it all in a relationship with a fat chick.


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## SexxyBBW69 (Aug 6, 2006)

Carrie said:


> There are lots of responses from women here who think fat talk, used appropriately and when accompanied by a look of utter and complete lust and desire, is quite fucking hot.



I couldnt have said it better myself


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## Jes (Aug 6, 2006)

carrie, often the voice of reason.

One thing i've noticed is that SO MANY FAs here post endlessly about being with women who don't accept themselves, who have to have sex with the lights off, or not at all, who can't take the simplest compliment. All of these posts saying: when does it get better? How can I convince her? What do I do?

And then I see a bunch of posts from women who are pretty damned fine in their skins, who like themselves, and who are itchin' to get some compliments and have a nice roll in the hay that doesn't end in tears. And they're single.

So maybe, just maybe, keep those women in mind when looking for a partner. I keep reading how people like confident partners, but then date people who have to be convinced of their attractiveness. Is it coincidence every single time? I'm not so sure.


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## SexxyBBW69 (Aug 6, 2006)

Jes said:


> carrie, often the voice of reason.
> 
> One thing i've noticed is that SO MANY FAs here post endlessly about being with women who don't accept themselves, who have to have sex with the lights off, or not at all, who can't take the simplest compliment. All of these posts saying: when does it get better? How can I convince her? What do I do?
> 
> ...



Jes..... That was an amazing post you are so right there are so many of us single girls who like our bodies & have a hard time finding a good man.. maybe these guys should just look at us hehe :kiss2:


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## exile in thighville (Aug 6, 2006)

elggij said:


> I love all the words, they turn me on and my wife and I use them during sex: fat, sloppy, flabby, squishy, saggy, hanging fat, jiggling, tub o' lard, fat sow. etc. I'd love to talk fat with anyone by e-mail.



some folks dig the humiliating stuff. what i wanna know is if his wife will be participating in this "fat talk by email."


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## Leonard (Aug 6, 2006)

Thank you Carrie, Jes, and SexxyBBW69 for your encouraging posts. Like most young FAs who have struggled with this sort of thing, I used to blame myself when a girl was offended by "fat talk". I felt like I had shared feelings that I should have quelled, and that my lack of restraint had ended an otherwise wonderful relationship. 

I know now that it has a lot more to do with a girl's body insecurities than it does with me and my preferences. Of course, that doesnt mean that I don't stave my urges when I know they will be hurtful or offensive. As fatgirl33 said,



fatgirl33 said:


> sometimes a certain word does not sit well with someone, and it is out of simple common courtesy that we don't use those words.



While I agree with this wholeheartedly, I hope that the next relationship I involve myself in does not require me to abstain from "fat talk".


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## Jes (Aug 6, 2006)

SexxyBBW69 said:


> Jes..... That was an amazing post you are so right there are so many of us single girls who like our bodies & have a hard time finding a good man.. maybe these guys should just look at us hehe :kiss2:


I do have a theory about this, 69. I rather think lots of FAs (of both genders, i'm sure), pick partners who need to be convinced of things. I won't get into my reasons, but yes, that's my theory.


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## Jes (Aug 6, 2006)

dan ex machina said:


> some folks dig the humiliating stuff. what i wanna know is if his wife will be participating in this "fat talk by email."


yeah, you sure wouldn't want someone talkin' dirty to someone not in the 2-person relationship, right?


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## butch (Aug 6, 2006)

Jes said:


> I do have a theory about this, 69. I rather think lots of FAs (of both genders, i'm sure), pick partners who need to be convinced of things. I won't get into my reasons, but yes, that's my theory.



You know Jes, this is an interesting theory. I remember back in high school there was this guy who had a crush on me, and one day he said to me

"I know no one else thinks you're pretty, but I think you're pretty."

I already was not attracted to him at all (he's who I invented my imaginary auto mechanic boyfriend with huge muscles and a hot temper for), but this statement was the absolute worse thing I've ever heard from someone. I couldn't imagine how he thought that any girl would like that statement, but if indeed he desired a girl he thought had zero self-esteem and needed to be constantly told how pretty they were, then I guess such a statement might seem like the sweetest thing ever. Maybe it even went over well with his previous girlfriend, I don't know. 

Believe me, I'd rather be alone than in a relationship with someone who wants to date a person that they think 'no one else finds attractive.' Hmmm, maybe that is why I'm single?

But then again, I would respond rather well to fat talk in a relationship. I used to know this guy who, while not fat, was tall and muscular with a small layer of fat over his muscles, and his friends called him 'Big Girl' (they're all gay, btw). I was envious of his nickname, and wished I had one like it. I wonder if nicknames outside of the bedroom associated with body size are even less popular than fat talk during sexual activity, at least for women? I'm guessing yes, but would it be different if it were a nickname used among friends and not your lovah?


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## MissToodles (Aug 6, 2006)

Jes said:


> I do have a theory about this, 69. I rather think lots of FAs (of both genders, i'm sure), pick partners who need to be convinced of things. I won't get into my reasons, but yes, that's my theory.



savior complex?


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## Jes (Aug 6, 2006)

MissToodles said:


> savior complex?


Yes, among other things. The need to control. The need to be the reason for someone's sexuality to come alive. Lets you sleep easier, figuring no one else will plant a flag on your territory, too, I guess. Keeps the challenge alive in a relationship (if you have to keep convincing someone to have sex, well, it doesn't seem routine to get it. You still feel the challenge, the thrill of the fight, when you win). But ultimately, you're controlling your partner's sexuality, and I'm sorry, but my theory says that some people really are that way, whether they know/admit it or not.


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## fatgirlflyin (Aug 6, 2006)

Carrie said:


> I feel like an important message has somehow been lost in this thread.
> 
> I'm hearing a lot of "I ruined everything because I used this word," or "I broke us up because I called her this". Guys, keep in mind that while the words you used may have contributed to the breakup, that it takes two to tango. A fat woman who is completely comfortable with her body and loves herself as she is is not going to freak out because you make some sort of reference to her size. By that I don't mean that all fat women love being called fat, or being told that our jiggly thighs are so hot or whatever - we all have different buttons that beg for pushing, and that's part of what keeps life interesting.



I agree with ya here for the most part. I do have to say tho that I'm very comfortable with my body fat and all but I would have a huge problem if anyone called me a sow or a pig. Love or no love that's crossing a line with me.


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## Carrie (Aug 6, 2006)

Ella Bella said:


> I agree with ya here for the most part. I do have to say tho that I'm very comfortable with my body fat and all but I would have a huge problem if anyone called me a sow or a pig. Love or no love that's crossing a line with me.



Yeah, honey, no kidding - I expressed earlier that there's a big difference between loving, affectionate fat talk and derogatory fat talk. Sow and pig definitely fit into the latter category for me.


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## fatgirlflyin (Aug 6, 2006)

Jes said:


> I do have a theory about this, 69. I rather think lots of FAs (of both genders, i'm sure), pick partners who need to be convinced of things. I won't get into my reasons, but yes, that's my theory.




I think so too! I think because for many (not all so please dont flame me) of them they haven't become comfortable yet with the idea that they are attracted to fat women. So if they are able to convince the fat woman that she is attractive and deserving of attention and admiration it sort of justifies their attraction that they weren't so comfortable with in the first place. Make sense?


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## Mikey (Aug 7, 2006)

Carrie said:


> I feel like an important message has somehow been lost in this thread.
> 
> I'm hearing a lot of "I ruined everything because I used this word," or "I broke us up because I called her this". Guys, keep in mind that while the words you used may have contributed to the breakup, that it takes two to tango. A fat woman who is completely comfortable with her body and loves herself as she is is not going to freak out because you make some sort of reference to her size. By that I don't mean that all fat women love being called fat, or being told that our jiggly thighs are so hot or whatever - we all have different buttons that beg for pushing, and that's part of what keeps life interesting.
> 
> ...



Bravo!!! Encore!!!


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## The Shredder (Aug 7, 2006)

SexxyBBW69 said:


> I am sorry to hear what happened to you.... I know maybe most will not agree with me & some will but in my heart I believe when 2 people love each other there is acceptance of who the other truly is & understanding.... you do not have a sickness & it sadness me for you to even have to say that.. I am a big believer in 1 thing REAL love is being who you are & having the other person love you for who you are 100% you should never have to hide a part of you & this part is a big part.
> 
> In our lives we all lose someone we felt was the love of our lives I have I had a fantastic guy I left because there was things about me that I hid & I knew he wouldnt have liked but after years I wonder after dating so many jerks & not finding someone as great as him did I make a mistake I think yes but them I remember would he love me & want me for who I am today or would I have to do what I always did years ago be the person everyone wanted me to be? Now i think no because I want to be loved for me & everything about me. I dont expect someone to enjoy everything I like as I wouldnt him but Love well I feel love makes us want to understand & open our minds to what makes the other happy & not get them to change what makes them who they are but to be willing to share this with them...
> 
> ...



It's such a refreshing change to be supported rather than being constantly shot down. I appreciate this sincerely, immensely inspirational. I am hard on myself when it comes to my preferences because of horrible past experiences. So again I would like to reinerate this is greatly appreciated .


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## SexxyBBW69 (Aug 7, 2006)

The Shredder said:


> It's such a refreshing change to be supported rather than being constantly shot down. I appreciate this sincerely, immensely inspirational. I am hard on myself when it comes to my preferences because of horrible past experiences. So again I would like to reinerate this is greatly appreciated .



I am glad to hear that.. dont ever be hard on yourself for past experiences if you did nothing wrong then it wasnt you.. you were just expressing who you are & if someone doesnt understand or try to understand & love you for you then that isnt where you should be.. so many people I have come across have been in realtionships or married for years only to later realize that they arent being true to themselves.. always be true to yourself first & if someone doesnt accept who you are doesnt mean its you that is doing something wrong.


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## Deryk_Shane (Aug 8, 2006)

dan ex machina said:


> that sucks. you're one of my favorite authors here, i just wanted to say. i came into discovering i was an FA around 14 after kind of "transferring" from big breast sites and through my teens slowly developed less of a preference for bewbs and more for serious ass and hips. it's probably your fault. you'd very much approve of my girlfriend, a mid-sized pear who gets it from her mom. and yeah, spraychel's hottt.



Thanks for that. I honestly had a lot to do with my own liking of big butts. When I was just hitting puberty 'fat' was very intriguing to me. When I started writing and drawing, it always seemed like the butt got the attention. Mostly because I could describe or draw it more realistically. And no, I have none of my drawings left from back then. I do have a few more that I've drawn of my fiance in exagerated forms, but I'd have to sneak them in to get scanned. She's seen a few of them and is impressed at how 'shapely' her butt is, it's the size she has a slight issue with.

Deryk Shane


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## exile in thighville (Aug 8, 2006)

Deryk_Shane said:


> Thanks for that. I honestly had a lot to do with my own liking of big butts. When I was just hitting puberty 'fat' was very intriguing to me. When I started writing and drawing, it always seemed like the butt got the attention. Mostly because I could describe or draw it more realistically. And no, I have none of my drawings left from back then. I do have a few more that I've drawn of my fiance in exagerated forms, but I'd have to sneak them in to get scanned. She's seen a few of them and is impressed at how 'shapely' her butt is, it's the size she has a slight issue with.
> 
> Deryk Shane



i hope she learns to accept it (and with you around, who wouldn't?) and doesn't freak out and go psychobitch like your previous. one thing i'll never get is women in relationships with guys who like their parts they hate. after awhile you think they'd feel better just from all the exposure to positive attention.


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## Forgotten_Futures (Aug 15, 2006)

Know what you mean man, I got into this stuff about age 16, shortly after I started clueing into the things my peers had been into for years... I was a bit slow in that regard I guess. I approached the whole thing very analytically, as I do almost everything, but still, I've come to the same basic point, and I too prefer the wider girls with big butts and hips.



dan ex machina said:


> that sucks. you're one of my favorite authors here, i just wanted to say. i came into discovering i was an FA around 14 after kind of "transferring" from big breast sites and through my teens slowly developed less of a preference for bewbs and more for serious ass and hips. it's probably your fault. you'd very much approve of my girlfriend, a mid-sized pear who gets it from her mom. and yeah, spraychel's hottt.


 
Too true. I used to RP frequently with a girl who is heavily into humiliation. Never really sat right with me, but for a long while she was the only girl I knew I could RP with so I took what I could get. In the past few months, however, my interest in RPing has slowly but surely all but evaporated and these days I turn entirely to the library boards for all that stuff.



sirumberto said:


> Some people get off on humiliation. I'm not saying that's the case for them. Just saying it happens.


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## kenzie_kutie (Dec 6, 2006)

i'm not gunna lie, i love fat talk.


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## KuroBara (Dec 6, 2006)

That sounds really kinda hot, actually. I've never thought about having someone talk about my body growing, mostly because I've never thought about my body growing. Still, this sounds fun....


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## Leonard (Dec 6, 2006)

kenzie_kutie said:


> i'm not gunna lie, i love fat talk.



I'm not gunna lie, any guy who got the chance to fat talk with you would be a damn lucky fellow.


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## kenzie_kutie (Dec 6, 2006)

Leonard LePage said:


> I'm not gunna lie, any guy who got the chance to fat talk with you would be a damn lucky fellow.




yeah you are kinda lucky huh? lololol


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## activistfatgirl (Dec 6, 2006)

kenzie_kutie said:


> i'm not gunna lie, i love fat talk.



Lady, I'm too lazy to go put this on the crush thread, but you're on my wee list. The tipping point? Certainly this comment.


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## Ample Pie (Dec 6, 2006)

<--big fat talk fan.

especially since the bf is so good at it.


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## kenzie_kutie (Dec 6, 2006)

activistfatgirl said:


> Lady, I'm too lazy to go put this on the crush thread, but you're on my wee list. The tipping point? Certainly this comment.



the wee list? i hope thats a good list lol


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## metalheadFA (Dec 6, 2006)

I love girls who take the onus in fat talk, ive been relativly lucky in the past. Relationships dont work when you get off on something that the other doesnt at all, especially if they get uptight about it. Taking it from my perspective I used to date a BBW into vampirism (vampyrism?) Not my thing and that ended not long after because I didnt push her buttons.


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## supersoup (Dec 6, 2006)

like most everyone else has said, i think as long as it's gone into gradually for the newbies to it, it can be a really awesome aspect for you and your partner. thanks to this place, and some self realization on my part lately, i can honestly say now that it wouldn't bother me, as long as it was a mutual want. why not revel in your body and how good it makes you feel?!


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## Leonard (Dec 6, 2006)

I guess good threads die hard.

Just a little update: A week ago I engaged in fat talk with a consentual partner. She was into it. I was into it. We were into it. I didn't have to feel selfish or perverted, I just enjoyed myself. It was awesome.


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## kenzie_kutie (Dec 6, 2006)

Leonard LePage said:


> I guess good threads die hard.
> 
> Just a little update: A week ago I engaged in fat talk with a consentual partner. She was into it. I was into it. We were into it. I didn't have to feel selfish or perverted, I just enjoyed myself. It was awesome.



glad u had a good time


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## collegeguy2514 (Dec 6, 2006)

i like fat talk.


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## JMCGB (Dec 7, 2006)

Gotta say i dig the fat talk as well. Anyone want to let me practice, hehe. J/K.


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## Shala (Dec 7, 2006)

I will say that back in my days before learning to appreciate being a big girl, fat talk would have been hurtful to me. But its the dawning of a new day for me......I now know that some of you guys love us fat chicks. And "fat" words have become compliments....sexy, erotic words to hear.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 7, 2006)

GWARrior said:


> fiinnee Ill be serious for a minute.
> 
> *"Fat" just doesnt sound intimate or sensual. I certainly dont think its a bad word, but its just not sexy sounding (to me anyway).*
> 
> That was no help at all, but Im tired.



A guy on my messenger was calling me fat once (in a good way) but I told him I still had negative feelings when he said it so he switched to the word "curvy". Tell me that's not sexy?


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## Leonard (Dec 10, 2006)

Shala said:


> I will say that back in my days before learning to appreciate being a big girl, fat talk would have been hurtful to me. But its the dawning of a new day for me......I now know that some of you guys love us fat chicks. And "fat" words have become compliments....sexy, erotic words to hear.



That's wonderful, Shala. It's precisely what those involved in size acceptance need to do. We need to turn hurtful words into words that are empowering, sexy even.



Green Eyed Fairy said:


> A guy on my messenger was calling me fat once (in a good way) but I told him I still had negative feelings when he said it so he switched to the word "curvy". Tell me that's not sexy?



This sounds like a good guy, Green Eyed Fairy. It's important to be able to compromise on these sort of matters. It's your body, after all, and your comfort should be paramount.


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## Shala (Dec 12, 2006)

I remember the first time a guy told me he was hot for my big round plump ass. I was mortified at first.....then I realized he was really excited and turned on by it. So I learned to find those words sexy and erotic and began to use those types of words myself with him.

He really appreciated and loved to look at my body. As time went on, I learned to relax and show myself to him in a truer light. I used to hate the way my very large breasts rested on my tummy. I wanted perkier boobies that stood at attention and I did all I could to make sure he saw them in that way. Then he confessed that he loved the way they lay against my tummy. I worried about him seeing my tummy rolls thinking he'd be repulsed. Instead he asked to see me fully nude in full light so he could really see every single curve and roll. This was a revelation to me.........a good one. And I once I relaxed and I could let him see every inch of me, I was finally free.


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## Russ2d (Dec 12, 2006)

I love when a woman engages in "fat talk"! It is such a turn on... 

In addition to the sexual aspect the use of the word fat is very important. First it's biologically accurate, and second it's a rejection of the lie that women's bodies are naturally ugly and unhealthy which is what has been dumped on them- for money reasons alone- for the last 30 years!


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## BigCutieSasha (Dec 12, 2006)

I love the fat talk. I never thought about it before I dated FA's. I always liked a lil dirty talk. Like regular dirty talk. But now that I've had fat talk... and there is talk of me getting bigger and softer and rounder... mmm lol... sorry... had to stop myself. But seriously, I do love it.


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## Russ2d (Dec 12, 2006)

Shala and Sasha I really enjoy reading your posts, they're very positive and a turn on all in one... 

and Shasha, love your big cutie site, your boobs and belly are to die for!


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## This1Yankee (Dec 21, 2006)

Leonard LePage said:


> Goodness, that is so true. Sadly, I've never been able to refer to breasts as "titties". The word evokes diminutive imagery when I hear it, and no slang term for breasts should evoke diminutive imagery.



THANK YOU GOD! A MAN THAT DOESN'T SAY THE 'T' WORD. I hate that word too, it's digusting.

And have I mentioned how bad it sucks that you live in NY? LOL :wubu:


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## Shala (Dec 21, 2006)

This1Yankee said:


> THANK YOU GOD! A MAN THAT DOESN'T SAY THE 'T' WORD. I hate that word too, it's digusting.
> 
> And have I mentioned how bad it sucks that you live in NY? LOL :wubu:



I really thought only teenage boys used that word. I agree This1Yankee, not a very great word.


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## TheNowhereMan (Dec 21, 2006)

i recently was confronted by a friend of mine asking me what she could do physically to enhance her figure. With out thinking I said "try putting on 20 pounds, if you like it go more." Now she at the time didn't know I am an FA, she obviously does now, but she's giving it a try. Mind you we aren't dating or anything just close and she's a borderline SSBBW to begin with. So we wil lsee what happens.


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## love dubh (Dec 21, 2006)

This1Yankee said:


> THANK YOU GOD! A MAN THAT DOESN'T SAY THE 'T' WORD. I hate that word too, it's digusting.
> 
> And have I mentioned how bad it sucks that you live in NY? LOL :wubu:



What about the word "boobies"? I enjoy that word. Boobies! I also employ the term "the ladies." xD


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## Shala (Dec 21, 2006)

maire dubh said:


> What about the word "boobies"? I enjoy that word. Boobies! I also employ the term "the ladies." xD



Oh my gosh....are you inside my head?? I love the word boobies. Never boobs but boobies. I have used "the girls" but I am totally digging "the ladies".


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## activistfatgirl (Dec 21, 2006)

The way some people use "titties" and "pussy" during play make me want to go nun. 

Though, its often about respect, with anything else.


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## Leonard (Dec 21, 2006)

maire dubh said:


> What about the word "boobies"? I enjoy that word. Boobies! I also employ the term "the ladies." xD



I would just like to say that I love "the ladies" and their "boobies". 

Thank you.


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## This1Yankee (Dec 21, 2006)

maire dubh said:


> What about the word "boobies"? I enjoy that word. Boobies! I also employ the term "the ladies." xD



LMAO. I like boobies. And "the twins". And "the ladies". 

I don't really like when a guy says "breasts" though. It's too clinical for me. It's really a fine line here: if the guy is my Gyn, and says "boobies", I going to freak. If it's my boyfriend, and he says "show me your breasts", I would be a bit skeezed.


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## Leonard (Dec 21, 2006)

This1Yankee said:


> I don't really like when a guy says "breasts" though. It's too clinical for me. It's really a fine line here: if the guy is my Gyn, and says "boobies", I going to freak. If it's my boyfriend, and he says "show me your breasts", I would be a bit skeezed.



True, but sometimes I feel like the use of the term "boobies" makes a guy sound immature. It's like being between a rock and a hard place, y'know? "boobies" is childish but "breasts" is too clinical. "Tits" is out of the question. 

Maybe "golden bazoons"?


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 21, 2006)

Lol- none of those words bother me for some reason. 
I tend to get more offended by tone/circumstance than actual wording of anything. 
Even the words that women dont like for their privates dont bother me either. 
If a man ever calls me one of those, then I simply call him one back. It seems to be worse for him....


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## This1Yankee (Dec 22, 2006)

Leonard LePage said:


> True, but sometimes I feel like the use of the term "boobies" makes a guy sound immature. It's like being between a rock and a hard place, y'know? "boobies" is childish but "breasts" is too clinical. "Tits" is out of the question.
> 
> Maybe "golden bazoons"?



If only ALL men were actually concerned with the way their word choice conveyed their intelligence and maturity; it would be a much nicer world. As for "Golden Bazoons"...uh, anything that rhymes with 'Baboon' would have to be a no-go in my book.


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## LillyBBBW (Dec 22, 2006)

I don't mind 'tits' or 'boobs' but 'Busoms' makes me cringe. I affectionately call mine 'The Twins' and they even have names. Trixie and Dixie.


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## Fuzzy (Dec 22, 2006)

Words I use/like: Breasts, Girls, Boobs, and Boobies.

Words I don't like/use: Tits, Juggs, Boulders, Headlights, Milk sacks, Torpedoes, Rockets, Saggers, Hangers, Teets, Rack, Boy Magnets, Cherries, Apples, Oranges, Grapefruit, Melons, Baseballs, Soccerballs, Volleyballs, Footballs, Bowling balls, Basketballs, Beachballs, Tankers, Hills, Mountains, Peaks, George and Gracie, Thelma and Louise, Knockers, Titters, Bangers, BoomBooms, Bombs, Helmets, Shoulderpads, Pompoms, Tubes, Cows, Piglets, Piggies, Kittens, or Puppies.


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## Shala (Dec 22, 2006)

Fuzzy said:


> Words I use/like: Breasts, Girls, Boobs, and Boobies.
> 
> Words I don't like/use: Tits, Juggs, Boulders, Headlights, Milk sacks, Torpedoes, Rockets, Saggers, Hangers, Teets, Rack, Boy Magnets, Cherries, Apples, Oranges, Grapefruit, Melons, Baseballs, Soccerballs, Volleyballs, Footballs, Bowling balls, Basketballs, Beachballs, Tankers, Hills, Mountains, Peaks, George and Gracie, Thelma and Louise, Knockers, Titters, Bangers, BoomBooms, Bombs, Helmets, Shoulderpads, Pompoms, Tubes, Cows, Piglets, Piggies, Kittens, or Puppies.



Fuzzy, you make me laugh. Milk sacks?????


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## Ample Pie (Dec 22, 2006)

"hooters, knockers, and sometimes snacktrays."

Depends on the context, but usually any term will work for me. There is a time and place for each term.

however, if a guy calls his member a wiener, I'm out.


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## This1Yankee (Dec 22, 2006)

Snacktrays.....HA!!!!! That's vunderful. I like "shelf butt". That has always sounded like a compliment to me. 

"WOW, I could balance my soda on that thing, dayum."


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## Ample Pie (Dec 22, 2006)

I can't take credit for "snacktrays." The "hooters, knockers, and sometimes snacktrays" line is from Married With Children.


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## Smushygirl (Dec 22, 2006)

LillyBBBW said:


> I don't mind 'tits' or 'boobs' but 'Busoms' makes me cringe. I affectionately call mine 'The Twins' and they even have names. Trixie and Dixie.



LOL! I thought I was the only one. Mine are called Venus and Mars, after a Paul McCartney album.

'Tits' doesn't bother me either, it's just a variation of teat, which is a real name for them.


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## ripley (Dec 23, 2006)

I named mine "shock" and "awe." *

*stolen from Dolly Parton, the queen of breasteses


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## mango (Dec 23, 2006)

*Thanks for the mammaries...


 *


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## Leonard (Dec 23, 2006)

I think if I had breasts, and I've thought about this before, I would name them "supply" and "demand".

Just sayin'.


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## LillyBBBW (Dec 23, 2006)

Leonard LePage said:


> I think if I had breasts, and I've thought about this before, I would name them "supply" and "demand".
> 
> Just sayin'.



Yeah, but are you insane enough to name them as witnesses in an argument with a significant other? SAMPLE: "What do you think you're doin..... Uhg! Trixie and Dixie are NOT amused pal.  " *folds arms across chest*

EDIT: You can still do that you know. Just saying.


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## LurkingBBW (Dec 24, 2006)

I am enjoying this thread and want to put in my 2 cents for what it's worth. I've always been a fat girl -although much fatter in the last few years. I am now well over 300 - nearing 350 lbs. Until I became accepting of my body, I would have cried if someone called me fat. Now, in the last few years since I let myself eat anything that I want whenever I choose, and gave up dieting, I put on quite a bit of weight and love the way that it looks. I'm a real belly girl and when someone that I am dating who I know is an FA, tells me that I'm his fat girl or talks admiringly about my fat belly or blubber it's a turn on because I know that it's a turn on to him. I would never knowingly date someone who is not an FA at this point in my life. There is a full size picture in my profile if you want to get an idea of my size. I love to eat and as long as I am comfortable in my size, I'm not stopping. I just don't date men who are not real FA's any longer!


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## Mikey (Dec 24, 2006)

LurkingBBW said:


> I am enjoying this thread and want to put in my 2 cents for what it's worth. I've always been a fat girl -although much fatter in the last few years. I am now well over 300 - nearing 350 lbs. Until I became accepting of my body, I would have cried if someone called me fat. Now, in the last few years since I let myself eat anything that I want whenever I choose, and gave up dieting, I put on quite a bit of weight and love the way that it looks. I'm a real belly girl and when someone that I am dating who I know is an FA, tells me that I'm his fat girl or talks admiringly about my fat belly or blubber it's a turn on because I know that it's a turn on to him. I would never knowingly date someone who is not an FA at this point in my life. There is a full size picture in my profile if you want to get an idea of my size. I love to eat and as long as I am comfortable in my size, I'm not stopping. I just don't date men who are not real FA's any longer!



I think you have reached the mountain top!!


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## Mikey (Dec 24, 2006)

This1Yankee said:


> Snacktrays.....HA!!!!! That's vunderful. I like "shelf butt". That has always sounded like a compliment to me.
> 
> "WOW, I could balance my soda on that thing, dayum."



I favor the simple reference "shelf" myself! To me that is the zenith of any woman's physique, because I am THE Pearman of the Board!
:bow:


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## starwater (Jan 5, 2007)

Leonard LePage said:


> On once occasion a few months ago, a girl who knew of my preferences took me to her room (Im a college student) and began talking about what would happen to her body if she were to gain ten pounds, twenty pounds, fifty poundsyou get the idea. I never stood a chance. Sadly, the next time we got together she confessed to me that she had only done this because she knew I wouldnt be able to resist her if she did. She went on to explain that she didnt want to engage in fat talk anymore, because it made her uncomfortable.



Okay, this is like five months later, but I think this girl is quite the tease.

Like brides who smile going down the aisle thinking "No more BJs..."

False advertising, indeed.


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## madamex (Jan 7, 2007)

Leonard, I think it is amazing that you handled this so well! I have been a closet gainer for quite a few years, and probably to this day do not have enough courgae to talk about my appreciation of my flab to anyone IRL. I have some courage online, and will chat about my love for my own self in certain forums, but I am just standing back in awe of you. Wish I had met someone with your honesty earlier in my life!


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## supersoup (Jan 7, 2007)

ripley said:


> I named mine "shock" and "awe." *
> 
> *stolen from Dolly Parton, the queen of breasteses



mine are flavia and cornelia, named for the two girls in my latin books in high school by my best guy friend at the time. this was really funny doing translations in class and reading about flavia and cornelia running through the woods, climbing trees, and doing their homework.


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## rainyday (Jan 7, 2007)

Mine don't have names and unfortunately they were sitting right here reading this with me (they're lolling on the desktop--they couldn't help but see). Now they're feeling totally deprived and I need to think up something quick!


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## MisticalMisty (Jan 7, 2007)

rainyday said:


> Mine don't have names and unfortunately they were sitting right here reading this with me (they're lolling on the desktop--they couldn't help but see). Now they're feeling totally deprived and I need to think up something quick!



Mine have been Betty and Bertha for years..lol

But I'm thinking they need younger, hipper names.


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## Fuzzy (Jan 7, 2007)

Mary Kate and Ashley?


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## MisticalMisty (Jan 7, 2007)

Fuzzy said:


> Mary Kate and Ashley?



LMFAO..that won't work Fuzzy..my girls are freaking HUGE..lol..not twiggys

Humm..maybe I should have a name my boob competition or something


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## HeatherBBW (Jan 7, 2007)

Leonard LePage said:


> Like many males here, Im aroused by the idea of a woman gaining weight. Theres just something about a womans figure blossoming to become more voluptuous, more abundant, more feminine that drives me, dare I say it, _wild_.
> 
> What turns me on just as much, however, is the idea of a woman gaining weight. When Im with a girl, imagining her beautiful belly burgeoning, her thighs thickening, her waist widening, (insert your anatomy-related alliteration here), gets me all hot and bothered. I suppose my problem is that when Im having these feelings, I have the tendency to share them. On more than one occasion I have been known to exalt my lovers fat ass or plump thighs in the throes of passion.
> 
> ...




I just seen your post now - I fear I will never catch up with all the posts I'd like to read. But anyhoo...

There are girls out there who will enjoy and love your fat talk. I personally, couldn't live without out. I am a talker and even if my partner isn't, I can't help but blurt out nonsense ramblings about being fat or looking so huge or tell me I'm fat or too tiny and need to put on a few.. the list goes on. It's almost involuntary, it's an innate part of me and always has been since I was younger, without a partner with just my own thoughts.

BUT this doesn't mean every confident fat girl is going to be a talker, but I should hope that as opposed to "accomodating" you, that they'd share in the excitement that you get from speaking such things. At least that is how it's worked for me. I haven't been intimate with many feeder or weight gain enthusiasts (whats up with that! - boo!), just great FAs who like fat girls. They've understood my sexuality and whereas they weren't necessarily into it, they knew I was excited and ran with it. I think it worked out for everyone in the end. I in turn have not "accomodated" my partners fantasies, but in turn indulged in them along with them and enjoyed it immensely.

My best advice is just be open and explain yourself. If it freaks the girl out but she has an open mind, tread into it slowly if you think she and you are worth it. I would hope that a sexual relationship would be mutually respectful. I cringed when I read about the girl who played up to your weaknesses. Because I used to be that girl who had those thoughts with no boy to share them with. There are plenty of girls out there that would love your affection and to share in those fantasies with you.

On the more fantastical side, if you do find someone who is on the same page as you... it's gonna be madness. Holy amazing goodness. I've been there and when someone says something that you are exactly thinking.. there is nothing quite like it. But I think that expands over all forms of sexuality.

Here is to hoping my post made any sense at all, I tend to ramble with run-on sentences. All in all - hang in there - wait for the good stuff, be as honest as you can and most importantly... just be yourself.


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## HeatherBBW (Jan 7, 2007)

Leonard LePage said:


> I guess good threads die hard.
> 
> Just a little update: A week ago I engaged in fat talk with a consentual partner. She was into it. I was into it. We were into it. I didn't have to feel selfish or perverted, I just enjoyed myself. It was awesome.



That will teach me to read on before responding the start of a thread without realizing it's months old - boo - but anyhoo - so glad you experienced the good stuff!


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## Leonard (Jan 8, 2007)

starwater said:


> Okay, this is like five months later, but I think this girl is quite the tease.
> 
> Like brides who smile going down the aisle thinking "No more BJs..."
> 
> False advertising, indeed.



Brides DO that?

As if I didn't have enough reservations about marriage, now this!

Seriously though, don't be too hard on her. In a way, I was sort of flattered. I mean, she was willing to do something that made her uncomfortable for my pleasure. Of course, had I known that it wasn't mutual I wouldn't have had enjoyed our encounter nearly as much. I wish she had just been honest. It would have saved us both a lot of trouble.


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## Leonard (Jan 8, 2007)

madamex said:


> Leonard, I think it is amazing that you handled this so well! I have been a closet gainer for quite a few years, and probably to this day do not have enough courgae to talk about my appreciation of my flab to anyone IRL. I have some courage online, and will chat about my love for my own self in certain forums, but I am just standing back in awe of you. Wish I had met someone with your honesty earlier in my life!



Thank you, madamex, I'm glad you've enjoyed this thread. I really don't have courage, I've just arrived at a place in my life where I don't have to hide my preferences. I started out slow, expressing my feelings with one or two friends. The more friends I talked to though, the less shy I felt about it. That's all.


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## Leonard (Jan 8, 2007)

HeatherBBW said:


> I just seen your post now - I fear I will never catch up with all the posts I'd like to read. But anyhoo...
> 
> There are girls out there who will enjoy and love your fat talk. I personally, couldn't live without out. I am a talker and even if my partner isn't, I can't help but blurt out nonsense ramblings about being fat or looking so huge or tell me I'm fat or too tiny and need to put on a few.. the list goes on. It's almost involuntary, it's an innate part of me and always has been since I was younger, without a partner with just my own thoughts.
> 
> ...



Good to see you've made it to the thread, Heather. I was wondering when you would drop in. Don't worry about being late, it was well worth the wait.


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## HeatherBBW (Jan 8, 2007)

Leonard LePage said:


> Good to see you've made it to the thread, Heather. I was wondering when you would drop in. Don't worry about being late, it was well worth the wait.



The wait or the weight?

(sorry I couldn't help myself!)


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## Brit_FA (Apr 15, 2008)

This has been a problem for me too, being married to a BBW who hates herself, particularly her body. Self sensorship is not too hard to do, and it's necessary if I'm serious about not causing discomfort to someone who doesn't deserve it. However, there's nothing wrong with wishing I didn't have to do it.
As is clear from some of the posts in this thread, there are women for whom "fat talk" is arousing. That requires a particular kind of self-acceptance. Fortunately I have found it. Unfortunately, I've had to go outside my marriage to find it. It's only talk, and it's hugely enjoyable for both of us. It's very dangerous of course, which makes me realise how strong the desire for it is in me, or how stupid I am, or both! I went looking for fat positivity, and found a warm and caring person, who talks about her fat, and enjoys how much we both love it.


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## LikesUSoft (Apr 17, 2008)

Just working thru this thread and found the cute post by Tinkerbell. Oh Tinky, I'd love to find a cute little girl like you to spoil. I would help you with a nice chubby weight gain by spoiling you with all of your favorite foods and taking to your favorite restaurants. (Hey waiter, we need an extra dessert to go!). I'd love to make your cute little butt nice and plump just so you would waddle a little and get to feel what it was like to wear nice tight jeans. And I would definitely engage in some nice talk with you about your love handles and how you were filling out. Sigh....


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## rollhandler (Apr 21, 2008)

I see where you are coming from as if you read my own mind. Just as some women find the idea of gaining weight erotic and are turned on by the mere thought of their body filling out and by gorging in wonton fashion the mere thought of my lover making a total pig of herself is erotic in and of itself. In THIS house I am the "skinny dude" and she is my "fatgirl" both in and out of the bedroom and it is NOT a four letter word to use the word fat in reference to various parts of her anatomy. However, we do censor these words in public as it is not socially acceptable to use them and most people assume their use is derogatory. As far as fat talk is concerned, we have discussed the usage of graphic imagery in our bedroom patter and dirty talk during sexplay and foreplay, it just hasn't happened yet for probably the same reason as you describe, although from time to time she asks if "these jeans or this shirt makes me look fat?" to which I reply with a resounding "YES" at which point she grins at my smile and raging hardon that accompanies the site of her in painted on denim showing all the rolls. She also occasionally informs me of any peticular weight gains she has accidentally aquired between doctor visits. She diligently doesn't mention the losses. No she doesn't TRY to gain she just moves up and down the scale and knows that if she mentions a gain it gets an instant response from me. But as for fat dirty talk i would love to incorporate it in graphic detail about how she would gain for me, even if only in fantasy, and allow for fat namecalling. ie. F#$% me like the cow I am. and so on. She knows that talking about her belly, flabby thighs, strechmarks, and cellulite is a big turn on because I've told her so. She just can't bring herself to discuss them in an erotic or sexual context herself. So, dude you aren't alone, and I count myself lucky for getting the little bit lf leeway in discussing her size with her erotically however little and one way it seems to me. She is a very tolerant and wonderful woman in that regard. I wish you luck in finding one, at a minimum, like her.
Rollhandler


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## rollhandler (Apr 21, 2008)

exile in thighville said:


> i love it. my advice: don't compromise what you want with someone who's half-hearted. you're not gonna be fully satisfied, and they're gonna be semi-uncomfortable and self-conscious trying to do it when it doesnt come naturally. gwarior's a sweetie but she clearly doesn't share your interest in this (sorry, it seems like the truth!). i only like to practice this sort of thing with someone who's 100% into it. it's like dirty talking...you can't just get a girl to do it who can't do it. it's way harder to make up that shit than it sounds. the trick is this. if you can't find a bona-fide feedee or someone with weightgain interests, find someone 100% comfortable with themselves, to the point of affable self-consciousness (i.e. constantly making observations about their fat, not negatively, but doesnt have to be erotic either). if not, and actually this is a better idea, find a bbw into dirty talking, maybe with some other kinks. if you can find someone into dirty talking who's a little kinky, all kinky men and women know the trick to satisfaction is compromise. then if she can dirty talk well, getting her to talk about her growing body would be a snap, and her comfort level should be good because of her kinkiness. then do stuff for her in return


Good points made. I fully believe that what bit of dirty fat talk she does is HER way of compromising to the extent that she knows it will turn me on but also at a level that she is comfortable with.


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## largenlovely (Apr 22, 2008)

i gotta admit to loving fat talk..when Bruce whispers in my ear that i'm his fatty it sends shivers down my spine and it's so sweet when he lovingly refers to me as "butterball" hehe.


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## Wheazz (Apr 29, 2008)

I totally hear you, man: fat talk all the way!


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## Haunted (May 3, 2008)

Fat Talk is the Holy Grail of foreplay for an FA, I recently separated from My wife Of 7 years not solely over the fat talk there are a lot of issues and difficulties But in the steps to try to save the marriage I came clean about being an FA i never really hid it i just wasn't open about it. she is a BBW and after telling her that i loved her curves and size She admitted to being kind of a closet foodie Sneaking a 2nd fast food dinner etc etc. (if this is even true) heres where part of my troubles began. If a woman were a Closet eater enjoyed pigging out on occasion and all of a sudden out of the blue her significant other comes out with well i love Fat and The thought of a woman gaining turns me on, Wouldn't the expected response be excitement and relief over this new common bond, especially since the relationship was slowly falling apart and now we've found this nugget we could explore. Instead she was confused and worried and couldn't understand, But she tried she really did but she couldn't get into the fat talk she did enjoy the tummy rubs but i think because I had issues with the relationship to begin with i couldn't stay on board being Her FA Because she couldn't fully accept Being a BBW so this nice neat little common interest that could have saved us ended up being the one thing that made it all quite clear that we could not communicate after all. Now of course don't bother with the well wishes and the apologies this story has Huge Bright Sterling Silver Lining


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## LillyBBBW (May 3, 2008)

Haunted said:


> Fat Talk is the Holy Grail of foreplay for an FA, I recently separated from My wife Of 7 years not solely over the fat talk there are a lot of issues and difficulties But in the steps to try to save the marriage I came clean about being an FA i never really hid it i just wasn't open about it. she is a BBW and after telling her that i loved her curves and size She admitted to being kind of a closet foodie Sneaking a 2nd fast food dinner etc etc. (if this is even true) heres where part of my troubles began. If a woman were a Closet eater enjoyed pigging out on occasion and all of a sudden out of the blue her significant other comes out with well i love Fat and The thought of a woman gaining turns me on, *Wouldn't the expected response be excitement and relief over this new common bond,* especially since the relationship was slowly falling apart and now we've found this nugget we could explore. Instead she was confused and worried and couldn't understand, But she tried she really did but she couldn't get into the fat talk she did enjoy the tummy rubs but i think because I had issues with the relationship to begin with i couldn't stay on board being Her FA Because she couldn't fully accept Being a BBW so this nice neat little common interest that could have saved us ended up being the one thing that made it all quite clear that we could not communicate after all. Now of course don't bother with the well wishes and the apologies this story has Huge Bright Sterling Silver Lining



NO. Quite the contrary. She would be terrified and mortified, just as I was the first time anyone ever said that to me. People are generally very conflicted about this issue. They don't want to see themselves in this light and will deny it to their graves. They are riddled with guilt and disgust for themselves when they overindulge and fear being out of control, being judged by society and possibly endangering their health. They want someone to be the rock that they can tether themselves to so that they will have incentive to keep themselves in check and live out the mantra of sensible aceptable behavior. Once she finds out you are not the steadying rock and that you would love to light the fuse for her destruction she'll fear you like nothing else. She'll view you as someone who means her harm and so will everyone else she tells, and she _will_ tell people. I'm generalizing of course, but this is what I would have done some years ago before I decided to stop running and call things what they are.


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## LoveBHMS (May 3, 2008)

Haunted said:


> Fat Talk is the Holy Grail of foreplay for an FA, I recently separated from My wife Of 7 years not solely over the fat talk there are a lot of issues and difficulties But in the steps to try to save the marriage I came clean about being an FA i never really hid it i just wasn't open about it. she is a BBW and after telling her that i loved her curves and size She admitted to being kind of a closet foodie Sneaking a 2nd fast food dinner etc etc. (if this is even true) heres where part of my troubles began. If a woman were a Closet eater enjoyed pigging out on occasion and all of a sudden out of the blue her significant other comes out with well i love Fat and The thought of a woman gaining turns me on, Wouldn't the expected response be excitement and relief over this new common bond, especially since the relationship was slowly falling apart and now we've found this nugget we could explore. Instead she was confused and worried and couldn't understand, But she tried she really did but she couldn't get into the fat talk she did enjoy the tummy rubs but i think because I had issues with the relationship to begin with i couldn't stay on board being Her FA Because she couldn't fully accept Being a BBW so this nice neat little common interest that could have saved us ended up being the one thing that made it all quite clear that we could not communicate after all. Now of course don't bother with the well wishes and the apologies this story has Huge Bright Sterling Silver Lining



If she was 'sneaking fast food' it probably meant she felt guilty about it, not positive. If she said one day "You know, I LOVE Taco Bell and fuck it, i'm going to eat a quadruple order of it" that might have been a different story.

The 'relief and excitement' comes about when something is shared, not when she discovers that you like something she does not like.

And if your relationship was falling apart, I really really doubt fat talk would save it.


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## Haunted (May 3, 2008)

Ok fat talk was not meant to save anything this was a subject we had danced around but never openly talked about in the end our issue is communication the breaking point was that when i finally did open up and she opened up it fell apart I was just as confused about the whole Fa thing as she was the foodee thing you would think that finally being HONEST with each Other would Have Helped the Communication Issues


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## Curious Jane (May 3, 2008)

i haven't gained any weight but i've been thinking about it...just talking to my bf about the possibility gets him soooo excited! maybe actual weight gain is not even necessary


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## Curious Jane (May 3, 2008)

madamex said:


> ...I have been a closet gainer for quite a few years...



forgive the dumb question but how can you be a closet gainer? isn't gaining pretty obvious?


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## LillyBBBW (May 3, 2008)

Curious Jane said:


> i haven't gained any weight but i've been thinking about it...just talking to my bf about the possibility gets him soooo excited! maybe actual weight gain is not even necessary



***feeders please cover your ears****

Actually this is partially true. Grab a love handle and say you think you're getting so fat. You don't have to actually have gained anything for it to work. I've even lost weight and it worked. Seriously, the mind is the strongest sex organ it is.


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## LoveBHMS (May 3, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> ***feeders please cover your ears****
> 
> Actually this is partially true. Grab a love handle and say you think you're getting so fat. You don't have to actually have gained anything for it to work. I've even lost weight and it worked. Seriously, the mind is the strongest sex organ it is.



I covered my ears but I managed to read it anyway..damn.

But you're totally right. Fantasy plays a huge part in any of this. Any sort of role play is just that...role play. People who enjoy it *know* that they're not really a cheerleader or a naughty schoolgirl or a demure librarian; their partners know it too. Talking about things can bring the fantasy/mental stroke material to life in a fun way.


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## Curious Jane (May 3, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> Actually this is partially true.



yes, but only partially. he hasn't given up on the real thing just yet...


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## Leonard (May 21, 2008)

Great to see this thread comin' back, y'know, 'cause I started it. When I first told DollyTron about fat talk, she immediately began referring to it as "fat chat". Since this is an infinitely better term, what with the rhyming and all, I'm going to call it fat chat from now on. Also, it sounds like a radio show where FAs and BBWs alike could call in and discuss stuff like this, and I like the idea of that.

It's awesome to read about relationships where fat chat is not only acceptable, but embraced! When I started this thread nearly two years ago I was very frustrated that I hadn't found someone who enjoyed fat chat. Now that I have I know that I can't do without it. Ladies and gentleFAs, don't settle. Some previous posters suggested really getting to know someone before broaching the subject of fat chat with them. That may work for some, but I've found it to be more effective to bring it up as soon as possible, preferably on the first date. Fat chat is an essential part of my sexuality, and if my partner isn't into it that's pretty much a deal-breaker. That's not to say that there can't be compromises. My girlfriend has her own little turn-ons, and I indulge them every chance I get. It's all about knowing what you want, being upfront about it, and never settling. That's what this thread, and the last couple years of my life, have taught me.

Thank you to all who have contributed to this thread. It's always a fascinating and titillating read.


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## KuroBara (May 21, 2008)

I could so get down with this. I would love to have someone who talks about my body in positive terms, buries his head in various parts of me and just jiggles me randomly and without provocation. I can't lie, I'm not at the point where I would be confortable doing too much in public, but private-oh yeah. And I'm a nudist.


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## Kortana (May 21, 2008)

When I first started dating my first FA boyfriend (currently still together) I was very taken aback by the tummy rubbing, grabbing and such. It's not that I didn't like it it was simply very new. He would use cute words to describe me like Puffy and fluffy. As we really got to know each other and I got more comfortable in my skin the words changed, whereas I was never comfortable with the word FAT, I certainly am now.

I used to also hide alot of what I would eat, it came from being ridiculed at home if I ate more than I should. But after he told me about his likes I no longer have to hide and that feels awesome too.

I think it is all about the right match, somethings just work. Sure there are some things he likes that I don't and vice versa but the fun part is finding the comonalities and playing with those

I hope I never have to look again but if I do I don't think I would ever go back to dating a non FA, I would miss the awesome belly rubs and midnight ice cream binges


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## ekmanifest (May 23, 2008)

I am so amazed by how my opinions on all these things have changed, really based on the introduction to my first FA and also being around the Dimensions community. Fat chat - all for it. Two years ago FAT was a four letter word for me, I would never utter it - now it is just one of many adjectives that describe me. Now that I'm "looking" again I didn't pussy foot around in my personal ad - just put it out there - here, me, SSBBW, 370 pounds, big belly. Love the belly rubs, love it all. It just really has given me an incredible sense of confidence and appreciation. Go Dims! Go FAs!


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## Saxphon (May 24, 2008)

hmmmm ......... I like to give/get belly rubs .... yum.


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## Caleb (May 25, 2008)

Once I told my last girlfriend of my preferences, she endulged them by letting me talk that way to her. I've alway found the word 'fat' to be just as sexy as 'plump' or 'chubby' or whatever your preferred adjective. So i guess, it comes down to a few things; finding someone who understands what gets you going and then letting you get there, but also making sure its right for her. Find your boundaries one step at a time. 

And on another note, its great to have someone bring up a topic I too think about an awful lot!


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## AussieDude (May 28, 2008)

CurvyEm said:


> I really enjoy 'fat talk' it really gets me going. heheh



what kind of fat talk does that though?


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## velia (Jun 2, 2008)

Leonard said:


> I guess it may be because I'm a writer, but language is very important to me, and words carry a great deal of power. It's strange to think that no matter how attracted to a woman I am, it turns me on that much more to hear her refer to herself as plump, fat, or lament (or celebrate) her recent weight gain.
> 
> I just wish I didn't have to sensor myself so much. Oh well, just something I need to get used to, I suppose.



Personally, I LOVE fat talk. The word 'fat' or any derivative thereof is not offensive to me-- in fact, it's generally a turn on. 

I had a similar issue a few years ago-- basically yours in reverse. I would never ever tell a boyfriend that I was into that "sort of thing." They'd think I was crazy. When I got married, I knew (obviously) that my husband was very attracted to my body, but I was terrified to tell him that I wanted him to talk that way to me. I had rationalized it in my mind that it was "ok" for me to be fat, but to enjoy it sexually and admit to it? Scary stuff. 

One day, in the throes of passion I just blurted out what I wanted. My husband stopped what he was doing and asked, "Are you serious?" 
_Oh, great,_ I thought, _now he knows I'm crazy._ I just nodded and braced myself, and he said, "Ok, sounds good to me. Are you sure that's not going to make you upset?" I said that it wouldn't, though in truth, I really wasn't sure. Turns out it certainly didn't make me upset, and I'm over the moon for it-- most of the time.

I'm not going to lie. I'm a woman, and sometimes being bashed by society day in and day out for being fat gets to me. So, if I'm having a bad day, and my husband starts talking that sexy fat talk to me, I just tell him I'm having a day, and that isn't what I want. He's always cool about it-- and I really think that's the key. If you can find someone who enjoys this sort of thing with you, just be aware it might not be exactly what she wants all the time. 

Maybe it would be helpful to let her know that you want her to tell you if she's not enjoying fat talk that day, so that you can both feel comfortable about intimacy. I know all too many women willing to grit their teeth and deal so they won't upset their partners. So, as long as you make it clear that you're concerned with her happiness as well, then things should go pretty smoothly (I hope!).

Good luck with your quest to find someone with whom you can engage in open intimacy.


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## FreneticFang (Jun 4, 2008)

No, pretty much everything you said here is exactly what turns me on. So it really depends on the girl. Dims is a fat admiration society.

I'm all into the fat admiration, but it's talk of how much a person/me/my partner has gained that does it for me.

In fact, I find that even if someone is rubbing up on my belly, it doesn't do it for me as much as words do. Or, rather, it feels incomplete. That's probably why I read the stories here almost religiously.

You can say we're in a "specified interest" sections of the Dimensions community.


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## HEINEKEN (Jun 4, 2008)

I wish that my Significant other would say something like that...I'm extremely scared to say anything...

The other night I said something to her about the dinner that I cooked the night before, (turkey burgers and chicken sausages and tons of veggies)...I said, "you only ate a burger and didn't even try a sausage", she then replied..." "what, do you want me to gorge myself...?" I missed my chance...since I do have a little bit of a stuffing fetish. I wonder what she would have thought? But she did however think about gorging herself in front of me...I've never talked about this kind of stuff with her...I should just say something...we eat really healthy.


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## FreneticFang (Jun 4, 2008)

I am very up front with how I like my men to look. Most take to it quite well, but women can be very different.

Even in a relationship, I'd honestly never let myself get too fat unless there's a wedding ring on my finger. Up and down 20 lbs, sure, but nothing further. I absolutely hate dieting and the truth is there aren't that many FAs out there as you would think.


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## Tad (Jun 4, 2008)

FreneticFang said:


> I am very up front with how I like my men to look. Most take to it quite well, but women can be very different.
> 
> Even in a relationship, I'd honestly never let myself get too fat unless there's a wedding ring on my finger. Up and down 20 lbs, sure, but nothing further. I absolutely hate dieting and the truth is there aren't that many FAs out there as you would think.



And would things change with a wedding ring on your finger, placed there by an FA? Or would dealing with the rest of society be enough of a hassle that you'd still want to hold your weight about steady? (not judging, just curious....have seen you around the BHM boards for ages, but have no clue about this side of you--you tend to be more the 'give tantalizing glimpses of what I'm all about' than the 'let me exposit all about myself' type. Which is cool and all, but leaves curious onlookers) (and to add: I'm a less-than-really-BHM-sized guy trying not to gain weight, so I have some sympathy for you here)


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## lostjacket (Jun 4, 2008)

I've never met anyone that would let me give them a belly-rub  

Here's hoping that changes though 

Haha..go moodswings mid post!


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## velia (Jun 5, 2008)

edx said:


> And would things change with a wedding ring on your finger, placed there by an FA? Or would dealing with the rest of society be enough of a hassle that you'd still want to hold your weight about steady? (not judging, just curious....have seen you around the BHM boards for ages, but have no clue about this side of you--you tend to be more the 'give tantalizing glimpses of what I'm all about' than the 'let me exposit all about myself' type. Which is cool and all, but leaves curious onlookers) (and to add: I'm a less-than-really-BHM-sized guy trying not to gain weight, so I have some sympathy for you here)



Ed, I wish I could rep you. I see you as the best, most logical voice of reason around here.


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## FreneticFang (Jun 6, 2008)

edx said:


> And would things change with a wedding ring on your finger, placed there by an FA? Or would dealing with the rest of society be enough of a hassle that you'd still want to hold your weight about steady? (not judging, just curious....have seen you around the BHM boards for ages, but have no clue about this side of you--you tend to be more the 'give tantalizing glimpses of what I'm all about' than the 'let me exposit all about myself' type. Which is cool and all, but leaves curious onlookers) (and to add: I'm a less-than-really-BHM-sized guy trying not to gain weight, so I have some sympathy for you here)



I honestly don't see this huge negative aura that fat people seem to get. I've never experienced it. I have lots of friends that are fat. 

The only problem they have ever had is finding a guy who likes them that way. But "society"? I've seen racism, I've seen fights over religion, but I've yet to see fat discrimination.

I'm not saying it doesn't exist. I'm sure it's a reality for a lot of BBWs and BHMs. Just not sure on what remote part of the earth that takes place because it's definitely not in Miami Latin culture.

The day an FA puts a wedding ring on my finger (hypothetically speaking), I'd never diet again. Hell I'd probably spend a week on a chicken nugget and vanilla milkshake diet from McDonalds and the next ordering Papa John's for 3 meals a day.
Girls spend their whole lives dieting. Why pass up the chance to enjoy food?


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## olwen (Jun 8, 2008)

FreneticFang said:


> I honestly don't see this huge negative aura that fat people seem to get. I've never experienced it. I have lots of friends that are fat.
> 
> The only problem they have ever had is finding a guy who likes them that way. But "society"? I've seen racism, I've seen fights over religion, but I've yet to see fat discrimination.
> 
> ...




You've never seen it? Consider yourself lucky.


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## TallFatSue (Jun 8, 2008)

velia said:


> Personally, I LOVE fat talk. The word 'fat' or any derivative thereof is not offensive to me-- in fact, it's generally a turn on.


I love fat talk too. It all began when my husband & I were first dating. He had never dated a fat girl before, but he fell madly in love with the fattest girl he had ever met -- me. He didn't know how to handle so much fat, but bless his heart, he sure learned! I began to use fat talk to show him that fat is perfectly all right and even damn sexy too. I've loved fat talk ever since.

One of my favorites:
Me: Do these jeans make my butt look big? 
He: No, your big fat ass makes your butt look big! 
(lovingly squeezing afore-mentioned big fat ass for emphasis) :smitten:

Sometimes we say this out in public just to see how other people will react. But if we're alone, chances are that passionate lovemaking ensues.


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## lostjacket (Jun 8, 2008)

I suck at dirty talk in general...something about it turns me into a perverted 21st Century Marquis De Sade. The contrast in grammar and vocabulary and then the alternating quote and quote fat talk just don't quite mix and match as well as I would like. Then again my English major tends to get in the way of that. 

I also tend to think about it too much, and the whole undeterminable line that I could possibly cross. As a result any of the talking I have done has been very restrained, almost to a hilarious extent. I've never been with someone who has truly embraced and celebrated their body as much as I would have liked.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 8, 2008)

FreneticFang said:


> I honestly don't see this huge negative aura that fat people seem to get. I've never experienced it. I have lots of friends that are fat.
> 
> The only problem they have ever had is finding a guy who likes them that way. But "society"? I've seen racism, I've seen fights over religion, but I've yet to see fat discrimination.
> 
> ...



People who say this usually aren't fat. Last week I was having dinner at a mom and pop pizza place and they had the last episode of 'Seinfeld' playing on one of the televisions. The whole fable centers around the Seinfeld clan watching a fat guy get carjacked and them doing nothing while making fun of him. I mean, it was used in a skit on a major television network. It's a schtick that works. Anybody see the smiling billboard ads for "Three and a Half Men" where Charlie Sheen has devil horns drawn on his head, David Cryer has an angel's halo and the fat little boy in the show has a slice of pizza drawn in a thought bubble over his head? The fat stereotype is good comedy! 

And the world goes numb. Nobody can see anything.


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## Totmacher (Jun 8, 2008)

FreneticFang said:


> I honestly don't see this huge negative aura that fat people seem to get. I've never experienced it. I have lots of friends that are fat.
> 
> The only problem they have ever had is finding a guy who likes them that way. But "society"? I've seen racism, I've seen fights over religion, but I've yet to see fat discrimination.
> 
> ...



Care to put that to the test?  On a less whimsical note: as an FA and a feeder I have yet to meet a girl who doesn't either already have longstanding weightloss plans with which I simply have to deal or use the emotional support I provide as an excuse to indulge her dreams of loosing, " a few pounds". I'll admit i have pretty lousy luck, but how many does it take to form a trend? People have the guts to be vocal as vegetarians, christians, muslims, gun nuts, republicans, and a host of other things that will get you ridiculed and worse in some circles, but to find a girl who'll let you encourage some gustatory indulgence and enjoy it with a tummy rub or some other physical appreciation? That's a rare and beautiful find.


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## FaxMachine1234 (Jun 8, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> People who say this usually aren't fat. Last week I was having dinner at a mom and pop pizza place and they had the last episode of 'Seinfeld' playing on one of the televisions. The whole fable centers around the Seinfeld clan watching a fat guy get carjacked and them doing nothing while making fun of him. I mean, it was used in a skit on a major television network. It's a schtick that works. Anybody see the smiling billboard ads for "Three and a Half Men" where Charlie Sheen has devil horns drawn on his head, David Cryer has an angel's halo and the fat little boy in the show has a slice of pizza drawn in a thought bubble over his head? The fat stereotype is good comedy!
> 
> And the world goes numb. Nobody can see anything.



To be fair, the Seinfeld bit was to show how morally indifferent the main characters were throughout the series and was certainly not portrayed as at all acceptable.


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## AnnMarie (Jun 8, 2008)

lostjacket said:


> I've never met anyone that would let me give them a belly-rub
> 
> Here's hoping that changes though
> 
> Haha..go moodswings mid post!



You've definitely not been hanging in the right circles. But you're off to a good start now, good luck with it!


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## rollhandler (Jun 8, 2008)

FreneticFang said:


> I honestly don't see this huge negative aura that fat people seem to get. I've never experienced it. I have lots of friends that are fat.
> 
> The only problem they have ever had is finding a guy who likes them that way. But "society"? I've seen racism, I've seen fights over religion, but I've yet to see fat discrimination.
> 
> ...



Even as a non fat person, but merely as one who didn't hide his taste or preference in females I have been victim of the negativity associated with anything fat. By admitting and dating exclusively fat girls as a teen I was ostrasized my many, and treated like a freak by others including the objects of my desires. It was as if they had such a low opinion of their physical bodies ability to be attractive that for someone to be attracted to them they would have to be a freak or at the least NOT NORMAL. Usually I was simply known as that guy that likes fatties, usually with a sneer, or sarcastic tones. Oh yeah its out there. Although, as an adult my taste is more accepted the stigma is still there.
Rollhandler


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## Weirdo890 (Jun 9, 2008)

You know, I love this forum. Like most FAs, I also have been into "fat chat". I began to notice this around tenth grade. There was a girl in my french class, who was not fat (about 130 lbs. by my guess) who would comment about how if she ate a cupcake at one of our parties, she could feel herself getting fatter. That drove me wild (so glad nobody could see my hard-on under my desk) and I would say she wasn't fat (which she WASN'T, just to clarify) and she would say that she was. I am aroused by weight gain. If I read about a female celebrity gaining weight, BAM! instant erection. I've never had a girlfriend in my life, but I hope to meet someone who can appreciate my interests without having to check me into an insane asylum *laughs*. I'm also glad to hear that there are women who love "fat chat" or are at least comfortable enough with themselves to indulge in it.


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## wistful (Jun 9, 2008)

FreneticFang said:


> I honestly don't see this huge negative aura that fat people seem to get. I've never experienced it. I have lots of friends that are fat.
> 
> The only problem they have ever had is finding a guy who likes them that way. But "society"? I've seen racism, I've seen fights over religion, but I've yet to see fat discrimination.
> 
> I'm not saying it doesn't exist. I'm sure it's a reality for a lot of BBWs and BHMs. Just not sure on what remote part of the earth that takes place because it's definitely not in Miami Latin culture.




FreneticFang,based on your pic and other things you've said,I'm assuming you're a smaller sized bbw??(if I'm wrong please feel free to correct me! ) Anyhow,the world is a much different place when you weigh in the highish 100s,lowish 200s as opposed to being supersized.I'm supersized now but I wasn't always.Like many other fat people,my weight has been up and down the scale and for a good,long time I was a midsized bbw. I even have a couple of stretches in there where I would have been considered a smallish bbw.
The treatment I received in general from the world at large, when I weighed 218 or even 270 was *infinitely* better then the treatment I currently receive at close to 400 pounds.This is not to say that everyone is awful to me now or that everything was just peachy back when I was considerably smaller.However,once I crossed the threshold of about,say 350, the increase in incidents of fat prejudice really took off.Sometimes you just don't know until you experience it yourself firsthand.


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## JMCGB (Jun 11, 2008)

FreneticFang said:


> I honestly don't see this huge negative aura that fat people seem to get. I've never experienced it. I have lots of friends that are fat.
> 
> The only problem they have ever had is finding a guy who likes them that way. But "society"? I've seen racism, I've seen fights over religion, but I've yet to see fat discrimination.
> 
> ...



Just coming in to defend you a little. Haven't talked to you in ages, but I def see where you are coming from. Miami Latin culture is def family and food centered and that ties in with the respect and the understanding of fat people amongst that group. While I don't have the experience of being around it a lot, I have seen what she is talking about in Miami. 

Now, she does say that fat people elsewhere are sure to face this negative aura on a daily basis. Maybe she could have worded things a little better, but I take her at her word as she is a really intelligent girl. While she doesn't post a lot here and what not, I can def vouch that she is one the most open FFA's out there and can fat talk with the best of them. 

I have to say I would jump at the chance to put her to her word about giving up dieting, because she will always be hot no matter what her size. I would have to go up quite a few lbs for that though, haha. Hope all is well with you C, and good luck in L.A.


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## HEINEKEN (Jun 27, 2008)

FreneticFang said:


> I honestly don't see this huge negative aura that fat people seem to get. I've never experienced it. I have lots of friends that are fat.
> 
> The only problem they have ever had is finding a guy who likes them that way. But "society"? I've seen racism, I've seen fights over religion, but I've yet to see fat discrimination.
> 
> ...



"Damn thats HOTT"


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## The Shredder (Jun 28, 2008)

Weirdo890 said:


> Like most FAs, I also have been into "fat chat". I began to notice this around tenth grade. There was a girl in my french class, who was not fat (about 130 lbs. by my guess) who would comment about how if she ate a cupcake at one of our parties, she could feel herself getting fatter. That drove me wild (so glad nobody could see my hard-on under my desk) and I would say she wasn't fat (which she WASN'T, just to clarify) and she would say that she was. I am aroused by weight gain.


 That is funny as hell, almost the exact same thing happened to me in tenth grade. Roxy was her name, I used to sit next to her in biology and she would always talk about eating and getting fatter. I was massively turned on. She was short, blonde, kinda thin, maybe 120. See at the time I was dating a friend of hers who was about 155, so she knew I liked bigger girls. She'd tease me daily, wanting me to cheat on my gf with her(even though it was her friend). Then because I turned her down she actually started to gain weight.(she knew my weakness and wanted me bad) I ended breaking it off with the girl I was seeing about a year later because she wanted to lose weight. Ironically I saw Roxy again about 2 years later working in an olive garden, a bbw by all standards, she told me she found a nice FA but was sorry that we never got together. Total mind-blowage man I wish I could have gone back in time on that one. One of the only gainers I ever knew(who liked it).


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## Weirdo890 (Jun 28, 2008)

The Shredder said:


> That is funny as hell, almost the exact same thing happened to me in tenth grade. Roxy was her name, I used to sit next to her in biology and she would always talk about eating and getting fatter. I was massively turned on. She was short, blonde, kinda thin, maybe 120. See at the time I was dating a friend of hers who was about 155, so she knew I liked bigger girls. She'd tease me daily, wanting me to cheat on my gf with her(even though it was her friend). Then because I turned her down she actually started to gain weight.(she knew my weakness and wanted me bad) I ended breaking it off with the girl I was seeing about a year later because she wanted to lose weight. Ironically I saw Roxy again about 2 years later working in an olive garden, a bbw by all standards, she told me she found a nice FA but was sorry that we never got together. Total mind-blowage man I wish I could have gone back in time on that one. One of the only gainers I ever knew(who liked it).




Interesting how life works out. It throws plenty of curveballs at us.


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## Ceruline (Sep 13, 2008)

From what many are posting, I suppose that I'm simply extraordinarily lucky. My girlfriend is well aware of the effect that her shape - and particularly the idea of her gaining weight - has on me. And although she isn't interested in gaining, she delights in abusing the fact that the idea of her gaining has a decidedly potent effect on me.

She'll describe in detail what she's eaten that day, how her clothes might be fitting a bit tighter, how her thighs might be getting just a touch thicker, etc.

Of course, she especially likes doing this in relatively public situations where it will cause me to be unable to stand up for a while without embarrassing myself. If that's the price for a girlfriend like her, I'll gladly pay ;-)


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## Crystal (Sep 13, 2008)

Ceruline said:


> From what many are posting, I suppose that I'm simply extraordinarily lucky. My girlfriend is well aware of the effect that her shape - and particularly the idea of her gaining weight - has on me. And although she isn't interested in gaining, she delights in abusing the fact that the idea of her gaining has a decidedly potent effect on me.
> 
> She'll describe in detail what she's eaten that day, how her clothes might be fitting a bit tighter, how her thighs might be getting just a touch thicker, etc.
> 
> Of course, she especially likes doing this in relatively public situations where it will cause me to be unable to stand up for a while without embarrassing myself. If that's the price for a girlfriend like her, I'll gladly pay ;-)




She sounds just like me.  I'm not completely into the idea of gaining, though it does intrigue me. 

It's just so much fun to tease. I can't resist doing it, at least a little.

Especially when I'm wanting a tummy rub. :happy:


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## Allie Cat (Sep 14, 2008)

CrystalUT11 said:


> She sounds just like me.  I'm not completely into the idea of gaining, though it does intrigue me.
> 
> It's just so much fun to tease. I can't resist doing it, at least a little.
> 
> Especially when I'm wanting a tummy rub. :happy:



Have I mentioned that you're evil, babe?


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## Wagimawr (Sep 14, 2008)

Divals said:


> Have I mentioned that you're evil, babe?


No, but I will. 

Ah, the downside of enjoying the reality more than the fantasy... Yes, fat women are amazing and if I never meet another one who's changing her weight intentionally ever again, I'll still have met some awesome fat women. There's just something about knowing (or best of all, seeing in the process) a woman going from big to bigger, chubby to bigger...y'know, any size change from small to large is kinda hot, now that I think about it... 

And yes, I'm still totally a sucker for a cute fat girl wanting a belly rub.


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## Crystal (Sep 14, 2008)

Wagimawr said:


> And yes, I'm still totally a sucker for a cute fat girl wanting a belly rub.



Oh, I know you are. 

Why do you think I take advantage of that so much? :happy:


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## Wagimawr (Sep 14, 2008)




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## Allie Cat (Sep 14, 2008)

Wagimawr said:


> No, but I will.
> 
> Ah, the downside of enjoying the reality more than the fantasy... Yes, fat women are amazing and if I never meet another one who's changing her weight intentionally ever again, I'll still have met some awesome fat women. There's just something about knowing (or best of all, seeing in the process) a woman going from big to bigger, chubby to bigger...y'know, any size change from small to large is kinda hot, now that I think about it...
> 
> And yes, I'm still totally a sucker for a cute fat girl wanting a belly rub.



I'd rather have the reality than the fantasy any day. Evil bits and all. And, ditto on being a sucker


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## FreneticFang (Sep 15, 2008)

wistful said:


> FreneticFang,based on your pic and other things you've said,I'm assuming you're a smaller sized bbw??(if I'm wrong please feel free to correct me! ) Anyhow,the world is a much different place when you weigh in the highish 100s,lowish 200s as opposed to being supersized.I'm supersized now but I wasn't always.Like many other fat people,my weight has been up and down the scale and for a good,long time I was a midsized bbw. I even have a couple of stretches in there where I would have been considered a smallish bbw.
> The treatment I received in general from the world at large, when I weighed 218 or even 270 was *infinitely* better then the treatment I currently receive at close to 400 pounds.This is not to say that everyone is awful to me now or that everything was just peachy back when I was considerably smaller.However,once I crossed the threshold of about,say 350, the increase in incidents of fat prejudice really took off.Sometimes you just don't know until you experience it yourself firsthand.



Haven't visited these boards in a while. 
I'm in the high 100s myself, which to most isn't even "BBW" material. 

I see fat discrimination on TV and in movies, just never experienced it in person.

One of my best friends is a ~300 lbs BBW and she works as a club hostess in Miami. Not a BBW club, just a normal club. And she'll get more tips than any of the smaller girls there.

The average latin's desired female figure is already thought of as "too fat" for white guys. Latin men generally care only for bigger hips and ass. I think it's American culture that defines abs and a flat belly as one of the main stand-points of "beautiful".


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## HDANGEL15 (Sep 15, 2008)

FreneticFang said:


> The average latin's desired female figure is already thought of as "too fat" for white guys. Latin men generally care only for bigger hips and ass. I think it's American culture that defines abs and a flat belly as one of the main stand-
> points of "beautiful".



*I think that's a very intersting point of view..not to say that plenty of good ole american boys (as witnessed on DIMS) dig curves a'plenty...but certainly other cultures such as latinos certainly can appreciate them easily 
*


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## voluptuouslover (Oct 29, 2009)

My first serious girlfriend in High school was aware that I liked more weight on her figure, she gained quite a lot of weight during the years we dated because of my liking it but she was very into it herself and certainly what it did to me. As her gaining accelrated and she became much bigger she was totally into it. The best part was she was one of those in your face kinda boisterous girls. She would continually talk about herself getting fatter and she knew it drove me crazy so she did it all the time.

She would in front of her friends mostly after she gained all her weight bring attention to how fat she had become and clearly let them know it was all because of me....

saying things like "how much more weight do you want me to gain baby?" Right in front of her freinds while she was devouring food out of control at a party in front of all of us. or in front of her Mother and myself at her house she would stand in front of the fridge patting her fattened belly and say to her mom "You need to get some more food at the store, how do you expect this big belly to keep growing" I would be so embarrassed but totally turned on at the same time. The best was that her mom was a beautiful 250 Lb pear shape and she would comment back with "You keep eating so good, your butt is going to be the size of mine soon."


My wife isnt one to talk about her weight that much even though she knows I really like the thought of her gaining weight. There was a time years ago when she was at her heaviest after her three pregnancies and she maintained a good amount of weight, (she was almost 60 Lbs. heavier than she is now).

I always try not to innitiate any talk about weight or her getting fatter for me because it usually does not go over well. I will usually let her complain about getting bigger or her clothes being to tight and then I slowly discuss it 

Although many times she would tease me with comments and try to drive me crazy when she was at her heaviest.

She would be in her Panties and Bra just after she got out of the shower come over and sit on my lap on the chair in our bedroom, (I have to tell you but when your wife is 60 Lbs. heavier that makes an incredible differance on your lap "good but I was a bit taken back) I must have made a slight moan and she said "what, you cant handle all of this new women I have become, you better get used to it becuase at this rate your fat wife might even get bigger!" or she would put her hand on her belly and jiggle it and say "Is this enough for you yet, Honey" 

Oh how I dream of the Lbs. creepin back on to her lovely figure because she is truley my dream girl and she is soooo much better with all her extra weight!!!


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## Russ2d (Oct 30, 2009)

> The average latin's desired female figure is already thought of as "too fat" for white guys.




White guys? Honey sweetie whoever thinks that has been watching too much false 'reality' TV... most of the hardcore FAs I know of are men with "white" skin. It's not a race thing, it's a propaganda thing usually aimed at selling something, and if by some miracle it hasn't really hit your neck of the woods then I want to move to Miami.


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## Inhibited (Oct 30, 2009)

Bugger thought it was a new thread and there was only the one page than i noticed that there are 22 pages.... Will just say that if someone is <3ing my fat in a positive way am all for them expressing it in words and of coz other ways. Not sure if that is gonna make sense now, oh well


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## nikola090 (Nov 1, 2009)

love fat talk! but unlucky....noone who talks about it...that's why I love this community!:wubu:


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## fat_elf (Nov 4, 2009)

Russ2d said:


> White guys? Honey sweetie whoever thinks that has been watching too much false 'reality' TV... most of the hardcore FAs I know of are men with "white" skin.



Actually, notice he said "considered too fat _for_ white men" not considered too fat _by_ white men". As in, those "reality" TV shows, movies, regular TV shows, magazines, and so on, all seem to assume, wrongly, that white men like thin girls. I don't know why that stereotype is there, since the stereotype of a Latino/Black man is of dating a big girl.


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## Mikey (Nov 4, 2009)

I'm an average white guy..last I looked in the mirror...and I tend to like extremely large women. I also have latino and black male friends who like rail thin ladies...go figure...!!


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## bbwbelover (Nov 5, 2009)

Curious Jane said:


> forgive the dumb question but how can you be a closet gainer? isn't gaining pretty obvious?



Surely you can gain weight without admitting you're intentionally trying to gain weight. I know i am at the moment.


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## braindeadhead (Nov 8, 2009)

FreneticFang said:


> Haven't visited these boards in a while.
> I'm in the high 100s myself, which to most isn't even "BBW" material.
> 
> I see fat discrimination on TV and in movies, just never experienced it in person.
> ...




http://xnet.kp.org/permanentejournal/sum03/stigma.html

Your experience is unique and a not a good measure of a society.


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## vermillion (Nov 17, 2009)

a guy that i spend time with pointed out that i was into fat talk...
i never really noticed before....until he started using it to lead up to foreplay..
when he wants to have sex he comments on how skinny he is getting......where OF COURSE i have to check...mostly by pinching and rubbing and jiggling his lil belly.....
because of health issues my fat interest has for sure transferred from myself to 
boys...
i mean i still love my body..BUT little pugdy (but still super manly) guys fuck my world up....especially when they talk about how much they can eat.


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## wolfpersona (Nov 28, 2009)

Instead of using fat, you could just tell her how you love her body and shes beautiful. Go slow and let you're hands do most of the talking.


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## wolfpersona (Nov 29, 2009)

voluptuouslover said:


> My first serious girlfriend in High school was aware that I liked more weight on her figure, she gained quite a lot of weight during the years we dated because of my liking it but she was very into it herself and certainly what it did to me. As her gaining accelrated and she became much bigger she was totally into it. The best part was she was one of those in your face kinda boisterous girls. She would continually talk about herself getting fatter and she knew it drove me crazy so she did it all the time.
> 
> She would in front of her friends mostly after she gained all her weight bring attention to how fat she had become and clearly let them know it was all because of me....
> 
> ...


I wish i had a girlfriend like that. Id never leave her. Oooh I need a chick that will tease me with her weight. So i can worship her.:wubu::bow:


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## voluptuouslover (Dec 4, 2009)

Yes, I agree wolfpersona! That girlfriend definitely turned into an FA and into weight gain the way she acted like that all the time and was so eager after a while to get bigger and constantly talk about it tease me and show me.

I need my wife to tease me like that, She never liked even talking about her modest gains other then an occasional frusteration with 10+ Lbs. and not fitting into her jeans and calling herself a fat pig (then we would talk about it mildly). I think she hit a point when she was so much bigger as to "if you cant beat em join em" attitude and she tried teasing me and talking about her fattened figure a little more. She certainly had all the power and I was a very willing participant, She was an FA"s Dream 5' 3" 180+ Lbs. for a good period of time with a beautiful model face Sandy beach blonde hair with a pear shape figure, massive lovehandles and a fat lower belly bulge with huge round breasts and fat upper arms (My ultimate dream girl) I just wish she would realize that and fatten up to those proportions once again (I was like puddy in her hand).


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## wreckless1967 (Jun 26, 2010)

I love fat talk, my girlfriend has gained a lot of weight and it all started back in 2005 when due to issues we were discussing living a long distance apart, well she asked me what I would do if she turned uo to visit me and she was 300lbs,,? well I said I would'nt let her go away and I would never leave the house. Thats when she found out my bbw desires, well the last few years she has gained about 100lbs, I have no idea what she weighs now but she wears size 26-28 clothes ??, she dose'nt diet and just eats whatever she fancies, best of all she knows how to get me going in bed with what she tells me, it usually goes like this
me "oooh your not the same as you used to be, your softer fluffier plumper and more feminine"
She " I know do you not mind me getting fatter softer, bigger ??"
me " no its sooo sexy, are you ging to diet and control it ??"
she " no just going to get bigger, bigger bum, bigger belly, bigger belly, gonna need a bigger bed, bigger knickers, what you gonna do about that???"
me " ooh nothing, is there anything I can do to stop it all happening???"
she " no its your fate, your going to have to get used to all this fat"
me " will you still make love to me if you get fatter ???
she " yes but will you still want me when if I get really fat???"
me " oooh I think you know the answer to that, what size will you be ???"
she " probably size 30 maybe 32 or bigger"
By this time where in a total frenzy sexually hhmmmmmmmmmmm
heaven


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## Fat Molly (Aug 7, 2010)

I...find I do really, really like being called fat in an intimate situation. In all manners, shapes, and forms. My ex was amenable to adding such things to his intimate vocabulary, but he wasn't enjoying it, and he wasn't all that creative either. 

The problem was, HE was the one with the stigma; he didn't want to call me 'fat' because of the negative connotation. He would usually fixate on my breasts gaining mass. Couldn't understand how I might enjoy my BELLY. Or at least, the pitiable little pudge that I consider to be my belly. 

Poor guy. He tried so hard. I still love him.


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## omracer (Aug 7, 2010)

voluptuouslover said:


> The best part was she was one of those in your face kinda boisterous girls. She would continually talk about herself getting fatter and she knew it drove me crazy so she did it all the time.
> 
> She would in front of her friends mostly after she gained all her weight bring attention to how fat she had become and clearly let them know it was all because of me....
> 
> saying things like "how much more weight do you want me to gain baby?" Right in front of her freinds while she was devouring food out of control at a party in front of all of us. or in front of her Mother and myself at her house she would stand in front of the fridge patting her fattened belly and say to her mom "You need to get some more food at the store, how do you expect this big belly to keep growing" I would be so embarrassed but totally turned on at the same time. The best was that her mom was a beautiful 250 Lb pear shape and she would comment back with "You keep eating so good, your butt is going to be the size of mine soon."


 


wolfpersona said:


> I wish i had a girlfriend like that. Id never leave her. Oooh I need a chick that will tease me with her weight. So i can worship her.:wubu::bow:


 
Agreeing with wolfpersona here. That would what i would love my girlfriend to do (if i had one of course :wubu

Fat Talk is a serious turn on of mine. becaused of the playful teasing really which can make you come back for more. but i do want a sense of romance with it so when i want to help keep a spark in a relationship and would be ideal to help plan dates with. 
Say even thinking about saying to a girls best friend and saying how supersized and beautiful i want to make her and make her happy flaunting her lbs just makes me aroused quickly :smitten:

but for me, i got to act the act as well as talk the talk.


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## chicken legs (Aug 10, 2010)

My current and past lover both know I'm a FFA, and they use/used fat talk to turn me on or distract my brain to get their way. Sneaky bastards.


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