# Beautiful ssbbw sighting in New York.



## BigJB1974 (Aug 4, 2007)

Today while visiting a friend I saw the most beautiful goddess.Two of my friends and I decided to take a walk to the near by store when one of them forget his wallet.So my friend and I decided to wait in front of this building when out came this brown skin luscious goddess.She was wearing a red tank top that showed part of her fluffy looking belly which cried for attention like her massive boobs.Her arms were huge and soft looking as well.She had on some blue capri's and by the time she made it down the steps I got a chance to see her lovely shelf.I was so amazed of how she looked I just stood there with a silly look on my face.I was tempted to speak but just couldn't. Finally my friend comes and my friend who was standing there mentioned to him how I just saw my dream girl. They know I like them BIG.When we enter the store who do I see but the goddess leaning over into the freezer.I decided to walk over and say hello.I must have startled her as she leaned up real quick and rushed for the counter and out the door.Not sure if I really scared her or she was just embarrassed by all she was buying.Maybe she didn't want me to think anything.I heard one of the clerks say bye nita or rita not to sure which one.I thought about asking the clerk about her but choose not to I didn't want him to think anything strange.Just can't get her out my head hoping to run into her again as she is my dream girl.Wouldn't mind sharing a few meals with her too.I'm not sure if I should approach her if I see her again as she might be shy.Do you think I should if I do or should I take her abrupt departure as a sign she's not interested?


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## Shosh (Aug 4, 2007)

Hey. Nice to hear of a man worshipping at the temple of an SSBBW goddess. My thought is that she may have been startled by your sudden proximity to her. I can find it a bit intense if a man stands close to me and I don't have the required space around me.
Maybe if you see her again you should admire her from a distance and approach her when and if she engages you with a look or a smile etc.
Meanwhile do lots of grocery shopping. Good luck with it. 
Shosh


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## Heavy_Cream (Aug 4, 2007)

That is a very sweet story of admiration and blossoming love however I am very sorry she "ran off" like that instead of talking to you. I sure hope there is a next time and you run into her again. That is a "bright spot" that someone there knew here...personally, I WOULD ask that person about her and maybe next time that person saw her, he could let her know you admire her and would like to get to know her...you know...that would be really cool. I hope she becomes your girlfriend someday.


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## Heavy_Cream (Aug 4, 2007)

OOPS, I meant to say, "That is a "bright spot" that someone there knew HER." And it is.


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## BigJB1974 (Aug 5, 2007)

Thanks for the advice ladies.I think I will pursue it.I don't think I could just stand there and not even try to get her attention if I did see her again Susannah since I don't know if that time might be my last chance.I won't crowd her like you suggested.Heavy i'm hoping it can become something more too.I will keep you ladies posted.Thanks again.


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## Heavy_Cream (Aug 5, 2007)

Oh yes, I sure hope you pursue her and I bet you would be very gentle and classy at doing it, too. Yes, please tell us how it goes. I wish you the very best of luck and that God and fate have it all lined up for you that she will be your girl and that it is meant to be.


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## Ruby Ripples (Aug 6, 2007)

Cute story! Why not give your number to the sales assistant that was in the shop that day that said "bye nita" or rita to her, and ask that it be passed on to her. Then she can call if she is interested. You probably just freaked her out the first time. Good luck!


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## GordoNegro (Aug 6, 2007)

If you see her again, approach her with a smile and tell her.
I'm sure she would be honored as opposed to thinking you were stalking etc.
Worst answers you can get are, no or I have a bf/gf etc.
Beautiful story, it always feels good to have a moment like that knowing it would always be remembered.
I remember sightings I had where if I just went and smiled or said something, who knows.
It's a good vibe, hope you have more of them.


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## BigJB1974 (Aug 6, 2007)

Ruby Ripples said:


> Cute story! Why not give your number to the sales assistant that was in the shop that day that said "bye nita" or rita to her, and ask that it be passed on to her. Then she can call if she is interested. You probably just freaked her out the first time. Good luck!


 I never thought about that one ruby thanks.



GordoNegro said:


> If you see her again, approach her with a smile and tell her.
> I'm sure she would be honored as opposed to thinking you were stalking etc.
> Worst answers you can get are, no or I have a bf/gf etc.
> Beautiful story, it always feels good to have a moment like that knowing it would always be remembered.
> ...


I'm hoping she is not involved gordo.I will keep everyone posted.


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## CrankySpice (Aug 6, 2007)

Ok, I'll be the voice of dissent here and say you should probably just let it go. You're basing your entire judgement of her solely on her physical appearance and know absolutely nothing about her. Plus, you are approaching her on her home turf, a place where she probably feels safe and somewhat protected from the outside world....not a place where she is prepared to meet a romantic partner.

I know that for me, personally, I find it extremely off-putting when someone approaches me in a manner that is clearly a pick up in a situation that doesn't call for it (for example...running to the corner store to pick up some ice cream). It's creepy and uncomfortable, and I would probably react the same way she did, which is scoot my butt outta there ASAP and pray that the freak doesn't follow me home. (I'm not calling YOU a freak, I'm saying that that is what my gut reaction to a man doing that would be.)


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## Shosh (Aug 6, 2007)

CrankySpice said:


> Ok, I'll be the voice of dissent here and say you should probably just let it go. You're basing your entire judgement of her solely on her physical appearance and know absolutely nothing about her. Plus, you are approaching her on her home turf, a place where she probably feels safe and somewhat protected from the outside world....not a place where she is prepared to meet a romantic partner.
> 
> I know that for me, personally, I find it extremely off-putting when someone approaches me in a manner that is clearly a pick up in a situation that doesn't call for it (for example...running to the corner store to pick up some ice cream). It's creepy and uncomfortable, and I would probably react the same way she did, which is scoot my butt outta there ASAP and pray that the freak doesn't follow me home. (I'm not calling YOU a freak, I'm saying that that is what my gut reaction to a man doing that would be.)


There is that also Peyton. I had a guy try it on once at a post funeral gathering! Creepy. 
This guy sounds pretty genuine though.
Susannah


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## GWARrior (Aug 6, 2007)

I keep seeing my name all over this thread!


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## BigJB1974 (Aug 6, 2007)

CrankySpice said:


> Ok, I'll be the voice of dissent here and say you should probably just let it go. You're basing your entire judgement of her solely on her physical appearance and know absolutely nothing about her. Plus, you are approaching her on her home turf, a place where she probably feels safe and somewhat protected from the outside world....not a place where she is prepared to meet a romantic partner.
> 
> I know that for me, personally, I find it extremely off-putting when someone approaches me in a manner that is clearly a pick up in a situation that doesn't call for it (for example...running to the corner store to pick up some ice cream). It's creepy and uncomfortable, and I would probably react the same way she did, which is scoot my butt outta there ASAP and pray that the freak doesn't follow me home. (I'm not calling YOU a freak, I'm saying that that is what my gut reaction to a man doing that would be.)




I don't think I really approached her in a aggressive way cranky.I was not right next to her there were a few feet in between her and I.I never followed her to the store and did not know that is where she was heading until I was in there myself.I think some people will agree that there is usually a physical attraction to someone and that is usually part of the reason you talk to them in the first place and want to get to know them.I know I am attracted to her and would like to know much more about her mentally as well.


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## CrankySpice (Aug 6, 2007)

BigJB1974 said:


> I don't think I really approached her in a aggressive way cranky.I was not right next to her there were a few feet in between her and I.I never followed her to the store and did not know that is where she was heading until I was in there myself.I think some people will agree that there is usually a physical attraction to someone and that is usually part of the reason you talk to them in the first place and want to get to know them.I know I am attracted to her and would like to know much more about her mentally as well.



It doesn't have to be aggressive to be creepy...how would YOU feel if some strange guy was suddenly standing there with a grin on his face saying, "Well, hi there!!!" to you out of the blue when all you are thinking is I better not forget the eggs again? And I do mean guy, not a lady, because men overall are more threatening to men and women than women are, whether they intend to be at all. Wouldn't you find it a little...odd?

If you do happen to run into her again, I'd suggest refraining from waxing poetic about her T&A like you've done here, and perhaps tell her instead she has a pretty smile (or eyes..or something that seems less sexual than her "massive boobs that cry for attention").


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## mossystate (Aug 6, 2007)

Cranky..yes!

Not all attention is good attention. You said you startled her, and I am sorry, but I cannot believe that you did not have a crazy look and demeanor about you, because, how many people, in a public place, flee from someone who simply startled them...hmmmm. I picture a woman who had her arms full of fattening foods ( you made it sound like this was the case..or was wishful thinking )..did all of her potential purchases go flying, when she saw you beside her?

Her belly and breasts were not 'crying for attention'. That is the talk of a man who does not respect another human beings' personal space ( not talking physical ). I would vote no on the talking to the clerk. If he is friendly with this woman, and he saw her reaction to your approach, I doubt he will give you any information.

And, Cranky is right, many men have no idea the ' wall ' we tend to have to put up just to go about our day. This is not an all the time kind of thing..we have just experienced enough to be a little weary and wary at times. Think about how your desires can feel like agression..or a bother...to a woman. Like Cranky said...the girl wanted to shop a little...that's all...obviously.


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## Kortana (Aug 6, 2007)

Wow..well I am new here so maybe I am alittle screwy in my thinking.But is this not a weird thing to everyone? "SSBBW Sighting" ? Are we suddenly some weird phenomenon? I saw one post a while ago that talked about a great place to see BBW's & SSBBW's is Wal-Mart..umm..what?


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## GWARrior (Aug 7, 2007)

Kortana said:


> Wow..well I am new here so maybe I am alittle screwy in my thinking.But is this not a weird thing to everyone? "SSBBW Sighting" ? Are we suddenly some weird phenomenon? I saw one post a while ago that talked about a great place to see BBW's & SSBBW's is Wal-Mart..umm..what?



Apparently, we're very rare and unseen creatures. You know like... mountain lion sightings or bald eagle sightings. Maybe there needs to be a fat girl zoo?


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## BigJB1974 (Aug 8, 2007)

I understand some of you ladies have your issues with men that you feel are not genuinely interested in a bbw/ssbbw but I am.First I never got a chance to say a word or even give a smile so no I wasn't standing there with a grin saying "hi there".I was standing a few feet away for about two seconds before she took off.It could have been she wanted to give me room to get what she thought I wanted from the freezer I don't know.You are right yes I said she had massive breast but I also said she had a fluffy looking belly and huge arms.The term I used cried for attention to me was referring to the fact that her tank top was small which showed her belly and it was tight around her breast.To me the fact she didn't try to hide them or cover them in some loose and baggy top in my personal opinion showed the fact she felt comfortable with her size.Like telling the word fat is beautiful.I could be wrong.Yes I used the title ssbbw sighting but I said beautiful ssbbw sighting.Ladies please don't classify me as someone that has the wrong intentions.I really would like to get to know her and possibly start something serious.I am a true ssbbw/bbw lover.


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## Robukfa (Aug 8, 2007)

Don't worry about the negative responses above BigJB1974. It is natural to be stunned by an SSBBW goddess. Like you said, she was probably just startled that she'd encountered you so soon again after first seeing you. Some posters on here view men as predators (we are though, aren't we?), maybe they've had bad experiences or weirdo's approaching them, I don't know. If you see her again, do what your instinct tells you. You can't be arrested for approaching somebody and entering in to conversation.


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## Kortana (Aug 8, 2007)

GWARrior said:


> Apparently, we're very rare and unseen creatures. You know like... mountain lion sightings or bald eagle sightings. Maybe there needs to be a fat girl zoo?





AAHHAHAHA...a fat girl zoo! That is sarcasm at it's finest.


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## Heavy_Cream (Aug 8, 2007)

BigJB1974 said:


> I understand some of you ladies have your issues with men that you feel are not genuinely interested in a bbw/ssbbw but I am.First I never got a chance to say a word or even give a smile so no I wasn't standing there with a grin saying "hi there".I was standing a few feet away for about two seconds before she took off.It could have been she wanted to give me room to get what she thought I wanted from the freezer I don't know.You are right yes I said she had massive breast but I also said she had a fluffy looking belly and huge arms.The term I used cried for attention to me was referring to the fact that her tank top was small which showed her belly and it was tight around her breast.To me the fact she didn't try to hide them or cover them in some loose and baggy top in my personal opinion showed the fact she felt comfortable with her size.Like telling the word fat is beautiful.I could be wrong.Yes I used the title ssbbw sighting but I said beautiful ssbbw sighting.Ladies please don't classify me as someone that has the wrong intentions.I really would like to get to know her and possibly start something serious.I am a true ssbbw/bbw lover.



Awwww...you sound so sweet, so gentle, so considerate. I hope the two of you are meant to be as a couple. You never know, dreams sometimes DO come true.


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## GordoNegro (Aug 9, 2007)

Nice slow and subtle over time, never hurts to say hi.
Sometimes eye contact and a winning smile is all thats needed to at least open the door.
Never get a 2nd chance for a 1st impression.
Worst case scenario is hearing no or being non-verbally dismissed.


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## fatgirl33 (Aug 9, 2007)

BigJB1974 said:


> Ladies please don't classify me as someone that has the wrong intentions.I really would like to get to know her and possibly start something serious.I am a true ssbbw/bbw lover.



I, for one, applaud your sincere efforts to try and get to know someone. I understand the guff you're getting, in this world today you can never be sure who a stranger is or what they might be after, so suspicions run high. I think Ruby's suggestion is a pretty good one, as it allows her to contact you on her terms. But you never know, you may find another opportunity to start up a conversation - best of luck in your quest!

Brenda


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## Teresa (Aug 10, 2007)

BigJB, my response is going to be a little different than others here. Maybe because they are much more sure of themselves or not shy they'd handle a situation like you wrote about differently. I don't know them, but I know myself and as a ssbbw who is shy if a guy came up to me unexpectedly in a store and said hello it would startle me. If I got the vibe that he was attracted to me I'd pull back feeling very unsure of myself. Someone coming up to me out of the blue doesn't happen often so I wouldn't be sure how to act. I might smile a small smile, say hello and move on quickly, not because I found him creepy, but again....because I'm shy. 

My advice to you is if you see her again say hello to her. Tell her you're not trying to be pushy, but that you think she's a beautiful lady and you'd like to get a cup of coffee with her etc. As others wrote, give the store clerk your name and number. She might not call you if she's shy, but she'll know your name and that you're serious about getting to know her. 

Good Luck! 

Teresa


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## BigJB1974 (Aug 10, 2007)

Thanks for all the well wishes and advice whether negative or positive I do appreciate it.Thank you teresa who happens to be shy yourself for your advice and well wishes.You might be right and she herself might be shy in ways.I do promise to update you all if I happen to be lucky enough to see her beauty again.


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## ClashCityRocker (Aug 11, 2007)

let me start by saying i'm SO pleased that there wasn't a grainy camera-phone picture attached to this thread. there's a lot of good advice here, so just remember that there's hella people behind you(most of whom have experienced similar situations) so go get your girl!


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## CuslonGodibb (Aug 12, 2007)

To all of you - - -

I too reacted to the title of this thread, and thought "now, what might this be about, really?". Because I'm curious, I read - - -  

I don't feel like I have much "new" to say in this matter - so many of you have already said what ought to be said - but I felt I wanted to add a couple of things:

I agree with Kortana: I don't like the idea of thinking of BBWs/SSBBWs - or anyone, for that matter - in the "interesting t_h_i_n_g_s to see" kind of way. No, Kortana, SSBBWs are not "some weird phenomenon" that should put up with being stared at. But on the other hand, I can imagine that it's hard not to look/stare, or whatever you'd like to call it, for BigJB1974 in this case, because - and here's my point - SSBBWs ARE rather "rare and unseen", as GWARrior put it.

At least, they are so in my experience, and from a Swedish point of view I just have to say they're TOO rare. At least the happy and confident ones!  This might be easy to forget in a fat positive place like Dimensons, because HERE there are a lot of fat positive people: FAs, BBWs, SSBBWs, feeders, feedees, and so on. Because this is such a nice place, we gather here, I guess.  

But, in Swedish reality SSBBW:s seem to BE quite rare. Unfortunately. Sometimes I get the feeling that you SSBBWs do not realize just how rare and amazing you are! ;-) So seeing one would be something of a nice surprice - - - I'm definitely not the staring type, though, and happen to be (try to be, at least!) very respectful towards the "personal space" someone's already mentioned, so I don't know how or what I would've done had I been BigJB1974. Probably nothing - - - Right or wrong? I don't know - - - Who knows, really? We all react differently, too, obviously, so what is considered a nice compliment by someone can be considered "creepy" by someone else.

I have no other conclusion to draw than - this is tricky stuff!  
Thanks to everyone who's contributed to this thread! Reading is interesting in these forums.

/ CuslonGodibb



Kortana said:


> Wow..well I am new here so maybe I am alittle screwy in my thinking.But is this not a weird thing to everyone? "SSBBW Sighting" ? Are we suddenly some weird phenomenon? I saw one post a while ago that talked about a great place to see BBW's & SSBBW's is Wal-Mart..umm..what?


 


GWARrior said:


> Apparently, we're very rare and unseen creatures. You know like... mountain lion sightings or bald eagle sightings. Maybe there needs to be a fat girl zoo?


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## Chimpi (Aug 12, 2007)

Kortana said:


> Wow..well I am new here so maybe I am alittle screwy in my thinking.But is this not a weird thing to everyone? "SSBBW Sighting" ? Are we suddenly some weird phenomenon? I saw one post a while ago that talked about a great place to see BBW's & SSBBW's is Wal-Mart..umm..what?



You are not "screwy" in your thinking, Kortana. You have your opinions and views, and you're welcome to believe anything you want to. 
Personally, I think it would be a rather dull world if we (we being humans) stepped outside of our homes, walked down the streets of any city or town or country, noticed all the attractive and/or beautiful people walking around and _did not_ look; be it for your own personal gratification, or a nice memory of someone you liked to see, or just to do something. *Shrugs*
Of course, I realize that some people are uncomfortable in being looked at, or gawked at, or even found beautiful or attractive. But, I think, everyone has the right to _not_ look away, as long as their intentions are honest and genuine. I will admit being creepily looked at myself, so I understand what you are saying.
If you saw Tom Hanks or Keifer Sutherland or President George W. Bush walking down the street.... would you look? Why is it okay to look at them, and not someone you find attractive? Just a question.



Ruby Ripples said:


> Cute story! Why not give your number to the sales assistant that was in the shop that day that said "bye nita" or rita to her, and ask that it be passed on to her. Then she can call if she is interested.



I think Ruby has great advice here. Personally, I would be much more forward than giving the clerk my number to give to Rita/Nita and waiting for a call and not knowing if it will ever come. But, nevertheless, it's a good, classy way of approaching someone in a very non-aggressive way.
Remember this: People are always different. Where your Rita/Nita might find it offensive for you to be aggressive (not saying you are, I'm just saying), another woman might find it very attractive or a good quality that you are aggressive. You never know until you just go for it. And always be yourself in every situation, including "picking up women".



Teresa said:


> My advice to you is if you see her again say hello to her. Tell her you're not trying to be pushy, but that you think she's a beautiful lady and you'd like to get a cup of coffee with her etc.



And I think Teresa has an even better approach (in my opinion, because that's exactly what I would do). Being forward is my forte, and Teresa put it in a very sweet, gentle way. You never know what will happen until you just _*go for it*_.

And not to burst your bubble, don't exclude the possibility of getting rejected, turned down, or passed off (offensively or gently). Be open to that conclusion - Just hope that it works out in your advantage.


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## BigJB1974 (Aug 12, 2007)

I promised I would keep everyone posted if I saw that beautiful goddess again.......I DID!!I ran into her yesterday when I was about to cross the street.We were standing on opposite sides when I glanced across and saw her standing there staring at me with a puzzled look on her face.I was not sure why and wondered if it was a good sign or bad sign.She tilted her head to the side and then raised it as if she had a thought and began to laugh and shake her head slightly.The light changed but I decided to stand there to see what she would do.She passed me smiled and said hello.I couldn't believe my ears did she really speak to me?It took me a few seconds before I spoke back but I said hi how are you?She turned around faced me and said fine.I really had a chance to view her beauty upclose.She wore no make up at all the same as the day I first saw her.She has the most beautiful soft brown almond shaped eyes.I could just stand there and look at her natural beauty all day.She said I guess I owe someone a dollar .It was my turn to look at her puzzled.She laughed and said someone told her she would run into me again and bet her a dollar she would.I smiled at her and said so you remember me.She nodded and said she did and at first didn't know what to make of me.Some of her friends that she told about our first encounter thought it was creepy and some thought I was trying to get her attention because I was interested.She decided to find out for herself.I was happy she did.I told her that her beauty did catch my attention and that yes I wanted to get to know her.She smiled and I said your friends and my friends need to hang out since some of them felt I might have scared you off and that you thought I might be some type of stalker.Some encouraged me to seek and speak to you.She laughed and said isn't that something.That broke the ice and we stood there talking for close to an hour.I found out she doesn't live in the area that her sister and children did and she comes around often to visit them.She also told me that she has children.Our conversation was beautiful until I asked if she was involved.Her beautiful brown eyes seemed to become saddened and the smile on her face disappeared.She stated she had been seeing someone but they seemed to be growing apart.I wanted to ask more and she sensed it.She said that she was no ones toy that needed to be played with when they wanted to play and put back on a shelf until they got bored and felt like playing again.I really did not know what to stay and didn't want to say something to anger her or make her think I was just trying to get on her good side.I thought to myself how could anyone mistreat or not appreciate such beauty.There is always two sides to every story and I don't know his so I won't rush to judgement.Unfortunally that was the end of our conversation.She said she had to go but enjoyed our talk and hope to talk again.I said the same and watched her walk up the stairs and into the building.I can't say that will be or last talk.I'm hoping not but I do hope that either the guy she's "seeing" learns to treat her right or step aside and let someone else do.I know I wouldn't mind taking his place.She really seems to be as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.


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## kr7 (Aug 12, 2007)

Hey Big,

That is definitely bitter/sweet. Hmm.... let me ask you are you still interested, knowing that she is seeing someone, and that she has children? I am only asking, because I know that not everyone can deal with such issues. If yes, then I can give you some advice from a woman's point of view. So far, you have done well. You were sensitive, polite, and gentle. If you are truly interested in pursuing this further, then the next time you see her, after saying your hellos, offer her a piece of paper with your name and number on it, and say something along the lines of: please keep it, when and if you ever feel like talking, give me a call. Make sure she knows there is no pressure. If this does go further, please make sure that you give her plenty of time to make her decisions about the person she is currently with. Do not push. And please, do not overlook the kids. They are a part of her life, and they would have to be a part of yours. You need to respect that. If you have problems with that, then get to steppin. Anyway, best of luck to you. Keep us posted.  

Chris


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## Kortana (Aug 12, 2007)

Chimpi said:


> You are not "screwy" in your thinking, Kortana. You have your opinions and views, and you're welcome to believe anything you want to.
> Personally, I think it would be a rather dull world if we (we being humans) stepped outside of our homes, walked down the streets of any city or town or country, noticed all the attractive and/or beautiful people walking around and _did not_ look; be it for your own personal gratification, or a nice memory of someone you liked to see, or just to do something. *Shrugs*
> Of course, I realize that some people are uncomfortable in being looked at, or gawked at, or even found beautiful or attractive. But, I think, everyone has the right to _not_ look away, as long as their intentions are honest and genuine. I will admit being creepily looked at myself, so I understand what you are saying.



I think either I didn't express myself properly or you misunderstood. Every girl likes to be "checked out" it was the title of the post that took me off guard and no so much the content of it. Personally I think it is great if someone has the guts to approach an attractive person on the street and introduce themselves- it's courageous and you might just meet the love of your life.

My commentary was simply about "SSBBW Sighting", its just seemed a little funny- like if I saw a UFO or a Ghost walking through my backyard.

Sure, BBW's and SSBBW' s may be rare (er?) but aren't the most beautiful things in life rare?


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## Jes (Aug 12, 2007)

Kortana--yeah, it does seem a bit jarring at first, I think, but that's just the way those stories are related, here. That's the pattern they take, I mean. But now you know! 

best
j.


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## Chimpi (Aug 12, 2007)

Kortana said:


> I think either I didn't express myself properly or you misunderstood. Every girl likes to be "checked out" it was the title of the post that took me off guard and no so much the content of it. Personally I think it is great if someone has the guts to approach an attractive person on the street and introduce themselves- it's courageous and you might just meet the love of your life.
> 
> My commentary was simply about "SSBBW Sighting", its just seemed a little funny- like if I saw a UFO or a Ghost walking through my backyard.
> 
> Sure, BBW's and SSBBW' s may be rare (er?) but aren't the most beautiful things in life rare?



Understood now. 
And agreed about the specific words in the title.


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## Jack Skellington (Aug 12, 2007)

Kortana? Are you Halo fan by any chance?


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## CuslonGodibb (Aug 13, 2007)

That's definitely worth thinking about, Kortana!

/ CuslonGodibb



Kortana said:


> [---] aren't the most beautiful things in life rare?


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## BigJB1974 (Aug 13, 2007)

kr7 said:


> Hey Big,
> 
> That is definitely bitter/sweet. Hmm.... let me ask you are you still interested, knowing that she is seeing someone, and that she has children? I am only asking, because I know that not everyone can deal with such issues. If yes, then I can give you some advice from a woman's point of view. So far, you have done well. You were sensitive, polite, and gentle. If you are truly interested in pursuing this further, then the next time you see her, after saying your hellos, offer her a piece of paper with your name and number on it, and say something along the lines of: please keep it, when and if you ever feel like talking, give me a call. Make sure she knows there is no pressure. If this does go further, please make sure that you give her plenty of time to make her decisions about the person she is currently with. Do not push. And please, do not overlook the kids. They are a part of her life, and they would have to be a part of yours. You need to respect that. If you have problems with that, then get to steppin. Anyway, best of luck to you. Keep us posted.
> 
> Chris





I thought about doing exactly what you said the next time I see her.I did not think it was appropriate to give it to her after she stated what she stated about her current situation.I am still interested in her however if she wants to just be friends I can accept that.I don't have a problem with the fact she has kids.I was raised by a man that was not biological father who I love dearly.I also was in a relationship with a beautiful woman for six years until her passing who had a set of twins who I accepted as my own.I still send them things on their birthday christmas or just because I thought of them.I understand what it takes to be involved with a woman with children and I am willing to step up to the plate if she and I do connect somehow.I don't want to pressure her or throw myself on her.I am willing to wait until she closes one door before she opens the next if that is what she desires.


----------



## RedVelvet (Aug 13, 2007)

Kortana said:


> Wow..well I am new here so maybe I am alittle screwy in my thinking.But is this not a weird thing to everyone? "SSBBW Sighting" ? Are we suddenly some weird phenomenon? I saw one post a while ago that talked about a great place to see BBW's & SSBBW's is Wal-Mart..umm..what?



Kortana..I hear you....It smacks of an objectification that is kinda depressing...but "sightings" .....like some women are some sort of rare animals....its common here.

Im with Spicy and Mossy on this...they expressed it rather perfectly.

No body part of mine is "crying out for attention" from anyone but someone I know well and intimately...

I understand the young man's delight.......and celebrate that..but the way he expressed himself...wow..he doesn't know a THING about this girl.....and someone else hopes she will be his "girlfriend"?....I mean.whoo..creepy in the beginning there..

But...

Hopefully this is a semantics thing....looks like he is getting to know her inside as well....


----------



## Mini (Aug 13, 2007)

Semantics aside, I don't see the harm here.

Like it or not, initial attraction is mostly visual. Dude was intrigued, he made his move, so to speak, and it didn't turn out wholly horrifically. 

It's not like he was taking candid cam shots of her ass and posting 'em. Give him a break.


----------



## RedVelvet (Aug 13, 2007)

Mini said:


> Semantics aside, I don't see the harm here.
> 
> Like it or not, initial attraction is mostly visual. Dude was intrigued, he made his move, so to speak, and it didn't turn out wholly horrifically.
> 
> It's not like he was taking candid cam shots of her ass and posting 'em. Give him a break.



Well...that WAS me giving him a break....


gosh....Im getting to hard in my old age.


----------



## Kortana (Aug 14, 2007)

Jack Skellington said:


> Kortana? Are you Halo fan by any chance?



Ummm...yep. yep I am.


----------



## Shosh (Aug 14, 2007)

Good to hear the update Big. I do wish you well. I liked reading your update Big, but could you break your post up into paragraphs? That makes reading it much easier. 
Susannah


----------



## GordoNegro (Aug 14, 2007)

Congrats btw.
Hoping all turns out well especially over time and that it is all you thought it would be and thensome as a beautiful friendship/acquaintance.


----------



## BigJB1974 (Aug 14, 2007)

Susannah said:


> Good to hear the update Big. I do wish you well. I liked reading your update Big, but could you break your post up into paragraphs? That makes reading it much easier.
> Susannah


 
Thanks Susanah for the well wishes.I will remember that for next time about the paragrahs. 




GordoNegro said:


> Congrats btw.
> Hoping all turns out well especially over time and that it is all you thought it would be and thensome as a beautiful friendship/acquaintance.



Thanks Gordo hoping it does work out and that it will turn out for the better between her and I.Really would like it to one day become more then a friendship but no pressure.


----------



## Heavy_Cream (Aug 22, 2007)

BigJB1974 said:


> Thanks Susanah for the well wishes.I will remember that for next time about the paragrahs.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



THANK YOU so VERY much for the updates!!!!!


----------



## BigJB1974 (Aug 22, 2007)

Heavy_Cream said:


> THANK YOU so VERY much for the updates!!!!!





You're more than welcome Heavy.Thanks everyone for letting me share.I have had a chance to see her every weekend so far.She usually comes down to visit her sister and since i'm usually hanging out at my friends place we meet up.She has a crazy sense of humor and always finds a way to make me laugh.I might not see her sweet smile this weekend hoping I do.She told me she has school shopping to do for her kids so she might be busy.I was thinking of asking her to go on a dinner cruise with me hoping she doesn't get seasick.I think it will give us a chance to get to know each other better.Will be a beautiful way to end the summer too.


----------



## kr7 (Aug 22, 2007)

You could also offer to help with the shopping. Not as romantic, but it would be sweet.  

Chris


----------



## Jes (Aug 22, 2007)

chris always knows what to do! must be the USSR touch.


----------



## kr7 (Aug 22, 2007)

Jes said:


> chris always knows what to do! must be the USSR touch.



Umm...USSR? As in the Soviet Union? I don't get it. :huh: Sorry Jes, that went right over my head. Splain puhleez.  

Chris


----------



## BigJB1974 (Aug 26, 2007)

kr7 said:


> You could also offer to help with the shopping. Not as romantic, but it would be sweet.
> 
> Chris



I did offer Chris but she declined stating that the father of her children and her go shopping every school year together.I'm now just waiting for her answer to the cruise.


----------



## kr7 (Aug 26, 2007)

I'll keep my fingers crossed. 

Chris


----------



## diableps (Aug 29, 2007)

Had me scratching my head a bit. I mean if the girl was skinny and smoking hot you would know what to do? So why does it have to be different because she is fat?


----------



## CuslonGodibb (Aug 29, 2007)

Good question, diableps! No need to be different - - -

/ CuslonGodibb



diableps said:


> Had me scratching my head a bit. I mean if the girl was skinny and smoking hot you would know what to do? So why does it have to be different because she is fat?


----------



## BigJB1974 (Aug 29, 2007)

diableps said:


> Had me scratching my head a bit. I mean if the girl was skinny and smoking hot you would know what to do? So why does it have to be different because she is fat?





CuslonGodibb said:


> Good question, diableps! No need to be different - - -
> 
> / CuslonGodibb





I don't understand what is your question or is it a statement?I did not ask advice on how to approach a ssbbw.I asked should I approach her as a woman because of the way she left the store.Her weight had nothing to do with it at all.


----------



## CuslonGodibb (Aug 30, 2007)

That's exactly what I meant, BigJB1974. Sorry for being unclear.

/ CuslonGodibb



BigJB1974 said:


> [---] Her weight had nothing to do with it at all.


----------



## BigJB1974 (Aug 30, 2007)

kr7 said:


> I'll keep my fingers crossed.
> 
> Chris




She has finally agreed to go with me.I will get a chance to end my summer in a great way.I have planned something else for our day out this weekend besides the cruise.I just want her to have a nice time and enjoy herself. 




CuslonGodibb said:


> That's exactly what I meant, BigJB1974. Sorry for being unclear.
> 
> / CuslonGodibb




Now I got you.


----------



## kr7 (Aug 30, 2007)

That's great. I hope you two have a nice time.  

Chris


----------



## CuslonGodibb (Aug 31, 2007)

Good luck to you both!

/ CuslonGodibb



BigJB1974 said:


> She has finally agreed to go with me.I will get a chance to end my summer in a great way.I have planned something else for our day out this weekend besides the cruise.I just want her to have a nice time and enjoy herself.
> 
> Now I got you.


----------



## BigJB1974 (Aug 31, 2007)

kr7 said:


> That's great. I hope you two have a nice time.
> 
> Chris





CuslonGodibb said:


> Good luck to you both!
> 
> / CuslonGodibb




Thank you both.I hope that everything goes as planned for our day.I just want to make it a very special day for her most of all.I want it to be a day she will always remember.A day for her to be treated like the Queen she is.


----------



## GordoNegro (Sep 1, 2007)

BigJB1974 said:


> Thank you both.I hope that everything goes as planned for our day.I just want to make it a very special day for her most of all.I want it to be a day she will always remember.A day for her to be treated like the Queen she is.



Nothing better than a great time when you can relax and be yourself with someone. Hoping you two have a great time, or better than mine as I head off to work..lol.


----------



## BigJB1974 (Sep 3, 2007)

Her and I had a great evening out.We went on our dinner cruise which was very nice.The cruise takes you to The Empire Sate building,Brooklyn Bridge,World Trade Center site,Statue of Liberty,Ellis Island ect.They feed you a gourmet dinner of filet mignon,lamb steak and other delicious things.I got the romantic package so we sat at a table for just two,had a bottle of champagne,half a dozen roses for her,chocolate truffles and souvenir glasses.

We both had to dress formal for it.She wore a beautiful two piece black skirt outfit which she looked amazing in.I wore a regular black suit.She stated she had never been on a dinner cruise and she really enjoyed it.She would always remember it.

We later changed and hit the movies she wanted to see Halloween so we did.We both liked it.After the movies I dropped her off and she thanked me for a unforgettable evening.I was very pleased to make her happy.I'm hoping to be able to take her out again and somewhere more wonderful next time.


----------



## kr7 (Sep 3, 2007)

Awww, that is so sweet. I am very happy for you. Hope you two have a lasting relationship. Best of luck to you. 

Chris


----------



## Cozworth806 (Sep 3, 2007)

I don't want to rain on your parade, because it sounds like you and her have certainly hit it off, but you said earlier that she was still involved with another bloke?

Has that ended since, as otherwise I am worried that this situation could turn out bad, for you, her and her kids. If I missed something then its just senility creeping up.

Good luck.


----------



## steely (Sep 3, 2007)

If there's a date better than that I need you to give my husband lessons.
I'm really glad that things are making you happy!


----------



## Matt (Sep 3, 2007)

Kortana said:


> Ummm...yep. yep I am.



Well no offense but you spelt it wrong, it's Cortana. Only 22 days until Halo 3!:shocked:


----------



## Kortana (Sep 4, 2007)

Matt said:


> Well no offense but you spelt it wrong, it's Cortana. Only 22 days until Halo 3!:shocked:



Hijack! LOL

I knew it was spelt with a "C" but was hoping to maskmy geekiness..LOL

I am so excited for the release of Halo3...Just replayed one and 2 to make sure I am up to the task ..LOL

WOOHOO


----------



## BigJB1974 (Sep 4, 2007)

Cozworth806 said:


> I don't want to rain on your parade, because it sounds like you and her have certainly hit it off, but you said earlier that she was still involved with another bloke?
> 
> Has that ended since, as otherwise I am worried that this situation could turn out bad, for you, her and her kids. If I missed something then its just senility creeping up.
> 
> Good luck.





You didn't miss anything Cozworth.You are right I did say she is seeing someone already.I am fully aware of the consequences.I am also aware of the fact that they are not as serious as they use to be and that they see each other every few weeks to months.I am not trying to pressure her into leaving him and seeing me either.I am willing to accept the fact she see's me as a friend.

Yes we did go out and have a great time.I felt she deserved to be treated to a wonderful evening out.Myself knowing that she is a mother I felt she might need a break and wanted to be the one who gave it to her.

Yes I did buy the romantic package it gives better privacy than the other tables.It also gave me a better opportunity for us to just talk.It also gave me a better chance to fully understand her current situation that's how I am able to speak on it the way I do.I do plan and hope to take her out again.I can handle the we are friends until and if it does change.If not I am still happy to call her a beautiful friend.


----------



## CuslonGodibb (Sep 5, 2007)

I just have to say you sound like a really nice guy, BigJB1974!

/ CuslonGodibb



BigJB1974 said:


> You didn't miss anything Cozworth.You are right I did say she is seeing someone already.I am fully aware of the consequences.I am also aware of the fact that they are not as serious as they use to be and that they see each other every few weeks to months.I am not trying to pressure her into leaving him and seeing me either.I am willing to accept the fact she see's me as a friend.
> 
> Yes we did go out and have a great time.I felt she deserved to be treated to a wonderful evening out.Myself knowing that she is a mother I felt she might need a break and wanted to be the one who gave it to her.
> 
> Yes I did buy the romantic package it gives better privacy than the other tables.It also gave me a better opportunity for us to just talk.It also gave me a better chance to fully understand her current situation that's how I am able to speak on it the way I do.I do plan and hope to take her out again.I can handle the we are friends until and if it does change.If not I am still happy to call her a beautiful friend.


----------



## Jes (Sep 5, 2007)

You know what they say, kids:

Just cuz there's a goalie, don't mean you can't score!

So long as you're aware she might not be into you, or into leaving her bf or into someone trying to date her while she's with her bf, then I don't see anything wrong with trying to offer her an alternative. We're all adults, here. Except when I call us kids. Then we're kids.


----------



## Angie O'Plasty (Sep 8, 2007)

Did she really eat half a dozen roses at that dinner? Wow!

Angie
xoxoxo



BigJB1974 said:


> I got the romantic package so we sat at a table for just two,had a bottle of champagne,half a dozen roses for her,chocolate truffles and souvenir glasses.


----------



## Angie O'Plasty (Sep 8, 2007)

She's not seeing anybody else. Sorry to say, she probably didn't want to go on another date and so she made it up. That was her way of not having to be honest with you. It happens all the time.

She wouldn't have gone on the first date if she was really seeing someone.

Angie
xoxoxo




BigJB1974 said:


> You didn't miss anything Cozworth.You are right I did say she is seeing someone already.I am fully aware of the consequences.I am also aware of the fact that they are not as serious as they use to be and that they see each other every few weeks to months.I am not trying to pressure her into leaving him and seeing me either.I am willing to accept the fact she see's me as a friend.
> 
> Yes we did go out and have a great time.I felt she deserved to be treated to a wonderful evening out.Myself knowing that she is a mother I felt she might need a break and wanted to be the one who gave it to her.
> 
> Yes I did buy the romantic package it gives better privacy than the other tables.It also gave me a better opportunity for us to just talk.It also gave me a better chance to fully understand her current situation that's how I am able to speak on it the way I do.I do plan and hope to take her out again.I can handle the we are friends until and if it does change.If not I am still happy to call her a beautiful friend.


----------



## SoVerySoft (Sep 8, 2007)

Angie O'Plasty said:


> Did she really eat half a dozen roses at that dinner? Wow!
> 
> Angie
> xoxoxo



gosh, aren't you funny.




Angie O'Plasty said:


> She's not seeing anybody else. Sorry to say, she probably didn't want to go on another date and so she made it up. That was her way of not having to be honest with you. It happens all the time.
> 
> She wouldn't have gone on the first date if she was really seeing someone.
> 
> ...



He said they are friends, and they went on this date as friends. Why are you being antagonistic? It's uncalled for.


----------



## BigJB1974 (Sep 10, 2007)

SoVerySoft said:


> gosh, aren't you funny.
> 
> 
> 
> ...





Thank you SoVerySoft.I don't think I could've said it any better.:bow:


----------



## Angie O'Plasty (Sep 10, 2007)

SoVerySoft said:


> gosh, aren't you funny.
> He said they are friends, and they went on this date as friends. Why are you being antagonistic? It's uncalled for.



Friends? Oh, come on. The very first time they ever hung out as "friends" he treated her to an expensive and romantic dinner cruise. It's great to have a "friend" like that. She must take her other "relationship" very seriously to go on such a friendly outing. And, well, he's just a heck of a good friend and a swell guy to hang around waiting in the wings for her to change her mind one day, right?

Angie


----------



## SoVerySoft (Sep 10, 2007)

Angie O'Plasty said:


> Friends? Oh, come on. The very first time they ever hung out as "friends" he treated her to an expensive and romantic dinner cruise. It's great to have a "friend" like that. She must take her other "relationship" very seriously to go on such a friendly outing. And, well, he's just a heck of a good friend and a swell guy to hang around waiting in the wings for her to change her mind one day, right?
> 
> Angie



Why would you assume she knew where he was taking her? And if he wants to wait in the wings for her, that's his decision. People do it all the time.


----------



## kr7 (Sep 10, 2007)

Angie O'Plasty said:


> Friends? Oh, come on. The very first time they ever hung out as "friends" he treated her to an expensive and romantic dinner cruise. It's great to have a "friend" like that. She must take her other "relationship" very seriously to go on such a friendly outing. And, well, he's just a heck of a good friend and a swell guy to hang around waiting in the wings for her to change her mind one day, right?
> 
> Angie



Angie,

You seem very angry about something, but I just can't figure out what. So the guy likes this woman. So he's hoping to have a relationship with her. He does seem genuinely smitten with her. Why would that irritate you?

Yes, she did mention being in a relationship, but she also plainly stated that she was unhappy in it, and on the way out. It's hardly a sin for the guy to hold out hope. Honestly, why begrudge another human being some happiness? It's not going to cost you anything.

Chris


----------



## Angie O'Plasty (Sep 10, 2007)

Very fair question. If you've ever had someone steal your boyfriend/girlfriend away from you, you naturally grow to resent that kind of thing.

But, you are right. I've been known to be a bit too negative at times 

Angie
xoxoxo




kr7 said:


> Angie,
> 
> You seem very angry about something, but I just can't figure out what. So the guy likes this woman. So he's hoping to have a relationship with her. He does seem genuinely smitten with her. Why would that irritate you?
> 
> ...


----------



## kr7 (Sep 10, 2007)

Angie O'Plasty said:


> Very fair question. If you've ever had someone steal your boyfriend/girlfriend away from you, you naturally grow to resent that kind of thing.....



Angie,

I'm so sorry that you had to experience that.  It really sucks that people do this kind of thing to one another. I understand how you feel. I had that very thing happen to me several times (once my best friend did the stealing, no less). Hope your heart heals soon!  

The reason I felt that Big was OK pursuing this relationship, was that according to what this woman said, she was unhappy in her current relationship, and she mentioned that in fact there was a problem in the way her SO was treating her.

Chris


----------



## Angie O'Plasty (Sep 10, 2007)

Thanks, Chris. You're a nice person. 

Angie



kr7 said:


> Angie,
> 
> I'm so sorry that you had to experience that.  It really sucks that people do this kind of thing to one another. I understand how you feel. I had that very thing happen to me several times (once my best friend did the stealing, no less). Hope your heart heals soon!
> 
> ...


----------



## Jes (Sep 11, 2007)

kr7 said:


> Angie,
> 
> I'm so sorry that you had to experience that.  It really sucks that people do this kind of thing to one another. I understand how you feel. I had that very thing happen to me several times (once my best friend did the stealing, no less). Hope your heart heals soon!
> 
> ...


this is off topic and maybe will come across as rude. I've not been in that boat, so I dont' know what I'd feel (though I imagine it'd be the same as you and angie!!) but can someone really steal someone else away? I mean, did she offer him a car?


----------



## kr7 (Sep 11, 2007)

Jes said:


> this is off topic and maybe will come across as rude. I've not been in that boat, so I dont' know what I'd feel (though I imagine it'd be the same as you and angie!!) but can someone really steal someone else away? I mean, did she offer him a car?



Well.....I had a lot of time to think about this over the years, and now that I'm older (and hopefully wiser), I know that it takes two to tango. Neither men, nor women are small children that are vulnerable to abduction by the boogyman (or woman). They are perfectly capable of making their own decisions, and keeping their pants on. So: no, I don't think that it's really a matter of someone stealing someone else away. It is really more about betrayal of trust, friendship, love, whatever. I guess "stealing" is used as a kind of euphemism for that.

Chris


----------



## pumpkingrower (Sep 12, 2007)

BigJB1974 said:


> I understand some of you ladies have your issues with men that you feel are not genuinely interested in a bbw/ssbbw but I am.First I never got a chance to say a word or even give a smile so no I wasn't standing there with a grin saying "hi there".I was standing a few feet away for about two seconds before she took off.It could have been she wanted to give me room to get what she thought I wanted from the freezer I don't know.You are right yes I said she had massive breast but I also said she had a fluffy looking belly and huge arms.The term I used cried for attention to me was referring to the fact that her tank top was small which showed her belly and it was tight around her breast.To me the fact she didn't try to hide them or cover them in some loose and baggy top in my personal opinion showed the fact she felt comfortable with her size.Like telling the word fat is beautiful.I could be wrong.Yes I used the title ssbbw sighting but I said beautiful ssbbw sighting.Ladies please don't classify me as someone that has the wrong intentions.I really would like to get to know her and possibly start something serious.I am a true ssbbw/bbw lover.


Let an Old man give his 2 cents! 
Okay 43 isn't that old. Any way how do people meet? Isn't the physical attract
ion the first thing? Then you get to know them? Obviously none of us "know"
each other, so we don't know if he's a great guy or not. when a guy talks it
may not sound the way a lady would appreciate. However he sounds true to his 
feelings. So here's my advice. Shop at the store several times a week, maybe 
around the times you saw her. I know the ladies might think it stalking, but he
wants to meet her. Be relaxed, and if the chance comes just say Hello.
You don't know, she might be married or spoken for?
If you never try, you'll never know. 
Alway's show a lady respect!
I didn't even plant Pumpkin's this year, and they still grew!
PumpkinGrower


----------



## Angie O'Plasty (Sep 13, 2007)

Well put, Chris. While "stealing" may be a euphemism, cheating and lying are not, and they all go together.

Angie
xoxoxo



kr7 said:


> I don't think that it's really a matter of someone stealing someone else away. It is really more about betrayal of trust, friendship, love, whatever. I guess "stealing" is used as a kind of euphemism for that.
> 
> Chris


----------



## BigJB1974 (Sep 20, 2007)

I see that someone has taken my post as a way to vent there own personal problems.I am so sorry that you had to go through what you did Angie.I always said it takes two to tango.In my case we have both stated our feelings to one another.I understand that even though I may deep down want her to be with me and treat her right she is not going to part from her current situation until SHE is ready if ever.We talk and go out as friends.I don't push up on her and she doesn't push herself on me.I guess if that is what lying and cheating is I was wrong all these years on what lying and cheating was about.You mentioned that I took her on a '"expensive dinner".I have no wife or children and I have a decent paying job I can afford it I'm the type of person who will spend money on someone/thing that I feel is worth it.I am a man that was taught it is better to recieve.I am planning to take her out again for Halloween to the October feast in Bear Mountain.I want to treat her right as a friend but would treat her better as my woman.You can take it as I am trying to steal her away but I take it as I'm treating her right.


----------



## Angie O'Plasty (Sep 21, 2007)

_sigh_

For starters, I wasn't venting my personal problems. This is something that happens to people over the course of their lives. Big deal. We all have to move on. It didn't even happen to me personally. One of my friends had her husband cheat on her and leave her for somebody else. I can relate because she's a good friend of mine.

Secondly, the expensive dinner part does not have *anything* to do with how you spend your money or whether you can afford it. It has to do with her being just 'a friend'. Do you take your guy 'friends' out for such romantic dinners? Why not, they're 'just friends' too, right? That's my point.

Anyway, I wish you the very best of luck.

Angie


----------



## GunnerFA (Sep 25, 2007)

Rather than start a whole new thread, I though this would be the best place to give my two cents on this.

Today I went to one of those all you can eat Pizza Huts in Sydney city. Not many of those around anymore in my area so it was great to go to one again finally. 

Anyway, as soon as I walked in, (i was with a group of friends) first thing i see as I look around the restaurant is the quite good looking bbw sitting down in a booth. She must have been around the 300lb mark, maybe a bit more. While I could be wrong in thinking this, just made me feel good inside knowing that this girl looked like she didn't fuss about what and how much she ate despite her size and the fact that most people would criticise someone that big for wanting to enjoy food.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Sep 25, 2007)

BigJB1974 said:


> I see that someone has taken my post as a way to vent there own personal problems.I am so sorry that you had to go through what you did Angie.I always said it takes two to tango.In my case we have both stated our feelings to one another.I understand that even though I may deep down want her to be with me and treat her right she is not going to part from her current situation until SHE is ready if ever.We talk and go out as friends.I don't push up on her and she doesn't push herself on me.I guess if that is what lying and cheating is I was wrong all these years on what lying and cheating was about.You mentioned that I took her on a '"expensive dinner".I have no wife or children and I have a decent paying job I can afford it I'm the type of person who will spend money on someone/thing that I feel is worth it.I am a man that was taught it is better to recieve.I am planning to take her out again for Halloween to the October feast in Bear Mountain.I want to treat her right as a friend but would treat her better as my woman.You can take it as I am trying to steal her away but I take it as I'm treating her right.




LOL! Oh brother. And I suppose you treat all your female friends like this? And if you and this woman did become serious you'd have no problems with her going out on a candelit friendship dinner and to Oktoberfestivus with 'Carlo' from sales who's waiting for you to drop dead? And you can bet your sweet button carnation that Mona Lisa will go. You're not concerned at all that this woman's behavior will be the same if she becomes your partner? Is this how you want her to go about things when the two of you are having problems? This is not good Big and you are only fooling yourself by claiming that it is.


----------



## CrankySpice (Sep 25, 2007)

You must spread reputation...yadda yadda yadda.....but great post, Lilly.  I couldn't agree more!!


----------



## Blackjack (Sep 25, 2007)

CrankySpice said:


> You must spread reputation...yadda yadda yadda.....but great post, Lilly.  I couldn't agree more!!



Got 'er for ya.


----------



## BigJB1974 (Sep 25, 2007)

Angie O'Plasty said:


> Very fair question. If you've ever had someone steal your boyfriend/girlfriend away from you, you naturally grow to resent that kind of thing.
> 
> But, you are right. I've been known to be a bit too negative at times
> 
> ...





Angie O'Plasty said:


> _sigh_
> 
> For starters, I wasn't venting my personal problems. This is something that happens to people over the course of their lives. Big deal. We all have to move on. It didn't even happen to me personally. One of my friends had her husband cheat on her and leave her for somebody else. I can relate because she's a good friend of mine.
> 
> ...



I guess I misunderstood the first statement you said earlier.I thought it happened to you.No Angie I do not take my guy friends on romantic dinners.I have treated them to very nice dinners when they have had personal problems though.I explained the reason of why I brought the romantic package in the first place in an earlier post.


----------



## BigJB1974 (Sep 25, 2007)

LillyBBBW said:


> LOL! Oh brother. And I suppose you treat all your female friends like this? And if you and this woman did become serious you'd have no problems with her going out on a candelit friendship dinner and to Oktoberfestivus with 'Carlo' from sales who's waiting for you to drop dead? And you can bet your sweet button carnation that Mona Lisa will go. You're not concerned at all that this woman's behavior will be the same if she becomes your partner? Is this how you want her to go about things when the two of you are having problems? This is not good Big and you are only fooling yourself by claiming that it is.



I hear you loud and clear Lilly.No I do not treat all my female friends like this.I don't have many for one and for two I did say I wanted to see where it could go with her at first.

I have only treated one female friend who was just my friend better than I treat her.In that case it was to try to help her get back to her old happy beautiful self after she was being abused off and on for years by her boyfriend.She refused help from her family and friends until he almost killed her.

I did learn alot about her current situation like I stated earlier and know no matter what I or anyone else says she will have to leave him when she's ready.There are deeper problems with them Lilly that I really don't wish on any female and I'll leave it at that.I am not concerned about her behavior because of this.She has turned to other outlets to help her deal with this too.

I still will be her friend and yes take her out.I don't believe in turning my back on people male or female when they are going through things in their life.I forgot to mention it won't be just her and I going on the trip next month it is a bunch of her friends and mine going too.


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## LillyBBBW (Sep 25, 2007)

BigJB1974 said:


> I hear you loud and clear Lilly.No I do not treat all my female friends like this.I don't have many for one and for two I did say I wanted to see where it could go with her at first.
> 
> I have only treated one female friend who was just my friend better than I treat her.In that case it was to try to help her get back to her old happy beautiful self after she was being abused off and on for years by her boyfriend.She refused help from her family and friends until he almost killed her.
> 
> ...



Surely without being there I cannot be an accurate judge over the situation so I will leave that up to you. Your story, however, does leave one with sense of forboding. I'll pester you no more save for this parting piece of wisdom I got from a good friend: Never try to help someone who isn't trying to help themselves. Much to my chagrin it has proven good advice 100% of the time. Just be careful with this woman.


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## BigJB1974 (Sep 25, 2007)

LillyBBBW said:


> Surely without being there I cannot be an accurate judge over the situation so I will leave that up to you. Your story, however, does leave one with sense of forboding. I'll pester you no more save for this parting piece of wisdom I got from a good friend: Never try to help someone who isn't trying to help themselves. Much to my chagrin it has proven good advice 100% of the time. Just be careful with this woman.



Lilly I am listening to the advice.Just trust me there is more going on with her right now.She is getting help for that reason I try to understand instead of running the opposite way right now.


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## mimosa (Sep 25, 2007)

Hey, Jay

No matter what happens ....if you end up with this lady or not, I hope you'll find the love and happiness you deserve.


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## BigJB1974 (Sep 25, 2007)

Thank you so much Mimi.:blush:


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## Angie O'Plasty (Sep 25, 2007)

LillyBBBW said:


> Never try to help someone who isn't trying to help themselves. Much to my chagrin it has proven good advice 100% of the time.



Wow, I think that may be some of the best advice I have ever heard!

Angie
xoxoxo


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