# Lies Your Parents Told You



## swinglifeaway (Jan 18, 2012)

In trying to be as helpful and protective as possible, sometimes our parents told us things that were completely bull$h!t.. but we believed them with unwavering certainty since we were kids and we didn't know anything.

What did your parents tell you?

Mine told me that if I watched too much TV that my hair would fall out and I'd get cancer from it. I didn't really know what cancer was at that point, but nonetheless I would only watch two maybe three shows at most. Samurai Pizza Cats marathons were an exception though


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## sgageny (Jan 19, 2012)

Oh the 'malevolent tv' lie... My mum always had some long winded explaination for why the tv was out to get me.

Other lies/hyperbole included:

The whole Santa thing.  

And that sandwich crusts would make my hair curly, so I just had to eat them. 

Also that my first dog barney moved to a farm for more room to run :/




My parents are responsible for my killer exaggeration skills.


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## Victoria08 (Jan 19, 2012)

Oh yeah, I got the one about the sandwich crusts too


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## Bananaspills (Jan 19, 2012)

My mum told my brother that if he chewed chewing gum he would never grow a beard. Also, that if he wore hats he would go bald.


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## metabliss (Jan 19, 2012)

My dad told us that the ghost of the original owner of our house lived in the basement and if we didn't do our homework that the ghost was gonna come get us while we slept. I couldn't sleep in that house for years.


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## Sydney Vicious (Jan 19, 2012)

Chocolate milk comes from brown cows.

If you watch tv all day your brain will turn to mush and come out of your ears.

There's a monster in my advent calendar and if I take a chocolate a day early he'll bite off my fingers.

There are a few more but to list them all might make me sound like the most gullible child in the world.


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## KHayes666 (Jan 19, 2012)

"Oh, Nonna's just not feeling well" - Christmas 1996

My grandmother was dying of galbladder cancer and no one told me or my sister. 6 days later on New Year's Eve she passed away and I didn't see it coming. It devastated me for the next 5 years


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## Melian (Jan 19, 2012)

Video games will decrease your IQ.

Go get some sun - it's good for your skin!

You'll want to have children when you get older.

Just ignore your brother and he'll shut up eventually.*


*The little fucker could make the same annoying noise for hours on end. I would always end up punching him in the face (after 5-10 warnings, and the precedent set by past punches).


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 19, 2012)

Turtles are illegal.

As in, pet stores are illegally selling turtles and it is illegal to own one as a pet, therefore we can't let you have one. 

I believed this until like 4 years ago. I wish I was kidding.


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## swinglifeaway (Jan 20, 2012)

Sydney Vicious said:


> Chocolate milk comes from brown cows.



My parents told me that it was the small amount of milk that got mixed with blood and instead of throwing it out... the greedy dairy people mixed it with chocolate and sold it thinking no one would notice. Also if I didn't eat my vegetables, they would go bad and then grow arms and legs and 'get me'. I decided on sleepless nights over eating zucchini and sprouts 

Also, the first time I remember getting my allergies tested, they told me I was allergic to pine trees so my dad thought it was funny to tell me that those were Christmas trees and we couldn't have Christmas anymore. I cried the whole way home I think.


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## Victoria08 (Jan 20, 2012)

My mum told that if I swallowed gum it would stick my lungs together. 

She's a good parent, I promise


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## Sydney Vicious (Jan 21, 2012)

swinglifeaway said:


> My parents told me that it was the small amount of milk that got mixed with blood and instead of throwing it out... the greedy dairy people mixed it with chocolate and sold it thinking no one would notice..




WOW they took that to a way darker level than I've ever heard of... holy cow! *dun dun tss*

I think another good wacky one was my dad told me that mountain goats could make their legs shorter or longer similar to how turtles do so they could better balance when they walked around a mountain.


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## Delightfully Peculiar (Jan 21, 2012)

I was told that morning fog was smoke from rabbits cooking their breakfast.


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## Bananaspills (Jan 22, 2012)

Melian said:


> Just ignore your brother and he'll shut up eventually.*
> 
> 
> *The little fucker could make the same annoying noise for hours on end. I would always end up punching him in the face (after 5-10 warnings, and the precedent set by past punches).



 Sorry but that seriously made me snort into my breakfast!


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## eeyorejenny (Jan 31, 2012)

If my dad wanted to get us to eat something, his reply would be, "It'll grow hair on your chest!" Yeah Dad, except I'm a girl, and I'm not supposed to have hair on my chest. 

When I was really young, he would tell me to try to put my arm over my head and touch my ear. I failed everytime. He'd tease me when he could do it and I couldn't. "You want a piece of candy, huh? Put your arm over your head and touch your ear." Young kids can't do this because the rest of their bodies haven't caught up with their heads. He does it to my niece and nephew now. 

One particular Christmas my parents didn't have any money, so they told us we were so naughty, Santa wasn't bringing us anything. That lie was rough...


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## BBWbonnie (Feb 4, 2012)

They told me the dark side was a bad place to go....

But I went there and they gave me food:eat1:


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## Jess87 (Feb 4, 2012)

Melian said:


> You'll want to have children when you get older.



Definitely. I think it was finally given up on around the time I started telling my cousins that a monster lived in the heater, so they would stop trying to drop things into the vent or it could have been the abortion jokes.


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## Awesomepossum (Feb 5, 2012)

BigCutieBonnie said:


> They told me the dark side was a bad place to go....
> 
> But I went there and they gave me food:eat1:



that's cute, haha


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Feb 5, 2012)

If you masturbate, air will get sucked into your penis and go to your head and you'll go retarded . . . 

I wish I was making that up. God Bless catholics. In my mother's defense she just wanted me to practice a craft or an art or read instead of pull on my dick all day. I have nothing but gratitude for this lie. 

I knew she was full of shit when I was walking downtown where a half-way house was at and I saw some guy whose mind was fucked beyond belief and he was shimmying and his hand was shaking. I ran home and told my mom "MAMI!! I SAW THE GUY WHO MASTURBATED TOO MUCH!!" and her response was "what are you talking about? Nothing happens if you masturbate. 

she forgot her own fucking lie. 

I love you forever, mami.


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## bmann0413 (Feb 6, 2012)

Everyone likes you for who you are. That was the main thing my mom told me growing up. Oh, what a lie that was. Teased and picked on EVERY DAY since third grade, not being able to enjoy being a kid, hindering my social growth, almost driven to SUICIDE.

I swear I STILL wanna smack my mother across her face for THAT lie.


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## Melian (Feb 7, 2012)

bmann0413 said:


> Everyone likes you for who you are. That was the main thing my mom told me growing up. Oh, what a lie that was. Teased and picked on EVERY DAY since third grade, not being able to enjoy being a kid, hindering my social growth, almost driven to SUICIDE.
> 
> I swear I STILL wanna smack my mother across her face for THAT lie.



What would you rather have her say, though? "Everyone hates your guts. CONFORM."

??

Not trying to be a jerk, but just wondering.


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## QueenB (Feb 7, 2012)

my mom told me that if i swallowed dog hair, i would die, which was why we couldn't keep my dog in the house. 

i also hated showering when i was younger, so she told me that my teachers called her up to tell me that they thought i smelled really bad and they were concerned. luls.


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## Surlysomething (Feb 7, 2012)

If you cry on your birthday, you'll cry every day for the rest of the year.

Haha.


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## Weirdo890 (Feb 7, 2012)

I got the usual Santa Claus/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy shtick. I can't remember much else.


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## AmazingAmy (Feb 7, 2012)

That 'Stairway To Heaven' by Led Zepplin was about a woman laddering her tights.


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## bmann0413 (Feb 7, 2012)

Melian said:


> What would you rather have her say, though? "Everyone hates your guts. CONFORM."
> 
> ??
> 
> Not trying to be a jerk, but just wondering.



I dunno, just that not everyone has a positive opinion on you, but make sure that you remain strong through it because there are people who do think you're great.

Y'know, something that actually made sense.


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## Melian (Feb 13, 2012)

bmann0413 said:


> I dunno, just that not everyone has a positive opinion on you, but make sure that you remain strong through it because there are people who do think you're great.
> 
> Y'know, something that actually made sense.



Fair enough. I hope the crappy times are over now, regardless of what she said.


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## KFD (Feb 14, 2012)

We never did drugs.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. wowwwwwwwwwww!

KFD


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## Amatrix (Feb 15, 2012)

Swallowing watermelon seeds would make a whole melon patch grow inside... So naturally I ate as many as I could.

My father also loved loved loved to tell me that red heads were actually werewolves. Not kidding. I didn't have a red headed friend for many many many years because of this. They had red hair because they were cursed and it was the blood of their victims still clinging to the white hair they have from the moon rays while they turn. 

He also loved to make me look under the car for bombs. He said he was a secret agent (FBI, naturally...), and sometimes people would try to come after him. Crippling fear lead me to not drive until recently, and get me around go-carts/ four-wheelers/ anything with a small engine?- forget about it. Small engines would blow up with a firecracker and a short fuse because all the smaller space would hide everything even better. He was actually just stalling until he could get my sisters into the car, but this one really did some damage. 

Yogurt was rotten milk left out in the sun, and cottage cheese came from angry cows who were beaten in the fields with baseball bats- giving them spots.

Every lie told to my parents birthed a doppelganger while I slept, who would later try and kill me so they could have my life.

Goldfish were baby mermaids who didn't eat enough broccoli in the sea.

They would "wrestle" at night to see who had to write the checks to pay the bills.

If you ever go into a field and notice what some people call a "fairy ring" (which is just a circular pattern of mushrooms, or dry grass)... it was actually made by faeries who were harassing and chasing rabbits/hares at night.


Those were some of the ones I instantly thought of while reading through these... of course there was the normal ones like; tooth-fairy, Santa, and such. Some are super absurd, but some I believed for longer then I like to admit. :doh:


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## Fat Brian (Feb 15, 2012)

Amatrix said:


> Swallowing watermelon seeds...snip...longer then I like to admit. :doh:





You need to send him some therapy bills, some of those are rough.


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## imaginarydiva21 (Feb 16, 2012)

My nan used to tell me its important to crush the egg shells before putting them in the bin because witches live in them


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## Blackhawk2293 (Feb 16, 2012)

My parents had a Manual 1977 Toyota Corolla and use to tell us kids that if we put it into gear the car would explode unless they were the ones that did it.

I disproved that lie when I was 8 and I started the car, put it in reverse and backed it down the driveway! 

So I don't like being played for a sucker, sue me! LOL!


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## Amatrix (Feb 18, 2012)

Fat Brian said:


> You need to send him some therapy bills, some of those are rough.



They were all in jest... My dad died when I was 11. The most harmful one was the driving one. I learned quickly that redheads were not werewolves, and I can drive without checking for car bombs these days.

But thank you very much 
I don't mean to sound ungrateful or snippy... thank you for the concern.


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## KingColt (Feb 18, 2012)

My parents told me that drugs were bad, matter of fact all adults that had no experiences with drugs told me that. Turned out to be some bs. So there ya go


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## Ivy (Feb 18, 2012)

You have to wash bananas before you eat them because monkeys pee on them.

The only way you will ever be able to change your hair color to blonde/pink/purple/etc is by getting a scalp transplant. 

If you walk too hard and stomp around your uterus will fall out and you'll never be able to have kids! 

Of course, I believed them all. :doh:


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## mediaboy (Feb 19, 2012)

My lost dog was found by Santa Claus and moved to the North Pole to help with Christmas FOREVER.


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## NoWayOut (Feb 19, 2012)

Ivy said:


> If you walk too hard and stomp around your uterus will fall out and you'll never be able to have kids!



Were I a girl, that would have caused me to stomp 24/7.


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## Mishty (Feb 21, 2012)

Telling lies cause bumps on your tongue.

If you give the milk away,no one will buy the cow.

If you bite your nails,corn grows inside you.


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## Ivy (Feb 25, 2012)

NoWayOut said:


> Were I a girl, that would have caused me to stomp 24/7.



It absolutely did.


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## Jess87 (Feb 25, 2012)

My grandmother did try to support the toad pee/warts lie, but I think it was mainly due to my constantly bringing home toads and attempting to setup a pond in the backyard.

She also told me she was allergic to cats so we couldn't have one. She has several now. Again it could be due to the constantly bringing home stray animals.



Amatrix said:


> [*]My father also loved loved loved to tell me that red heads were actually werewolves. Not kidding. I didn't have a red headed friend for many many many years because of this. They had red hair because they were cursed and it was the blood of their victims still clinging to the white hair they have from the moon rays while they turn.



That's hilarious. I wish it were spread around more. I would have been thrilled to have people assume I was a werewolf growing up.


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## AuntHen (Feb 26, 2012)

Eat your crust! That's where all the nutrients are.


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## Msprettypanties (Mar 5, 2012)

Amatrix said:


> Swallowing watermelon seeds would make a whole melon patch grow inside... So naturally I ate as many as I could.
> 
> My father also loved loved loved to tell me that red heads were actually werewolves. Not kidding. I didn't have a red headed friend for many many many years because of this. They had red hair because they were cursed and it was the blood of their victims still clinging to the white hair they have from the moon rays while they turn.
> 
> ...



LMFAO!! I laughed so hard at this I now have tears in my eyes


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## Msprettypanties (Mar 5, 2012)

My mother told me that if I lied I would get a lie bump, which were actually swollen tastebuds. If I ever had one she would ask what I lied about recently, she told me they wouldn't go away until I told the truth. I believed this for a long time.


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## swinglifeaway (Mar 5, 2012)

Msprettypanties said:


> My mother told me that if I lied I would get a lie bump, which were actually swollen tastebuds. If I ever had one she would ask what I lied about recently, she told me they wouldn't go away until I told the truth. I believed this for a long time.



That's a really smart idea actually. I think I'm going to have to bookmark this thread for when I have kids (which is a long ways off I hope).


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## SarahLaughsAlot (Mar 16, 2012)

Mom's Lie 

"Sarah, if you don't wear a bra to bed, you're boobs will sag to you're knees before your 20"

21, holding strong and i'm where i need to be!

Dad's Lie 

"Sarah, the stork brought you and you landed on the front porch wrapped in a pink blanket" 

found this false when i was in 6th grade and found out you actually get pregnant from the toilet at the mall  lol


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## MissAshley (Mar 18, 2012)

My grandma always told me that chocolate would give me acne, that eating too many sweets would cause me to get diabetes, and that cracking my knuckles would cause me to get arthritis, all of which I found out are myths.


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## Nenona (Apr 9, 2012)

Mine generally gave me lots of shit about two things:
1.) my weight, claiming that the maaaagic loss of all my weight would finally make people love me.
2.) My intelligence. I have an IQ of 148 and well....I love talking. I love discussions. I love comparing things. But of course my parents don't understand me and used to tell me "well you NEED to act dumber...you really do...otherwise you'll be alone forever and ever."

Just...eugh. Parents like mine are why we don't have young girls in science fields and most young ladies end up with seriously disordered eating.


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## _broshe_ (Apr 13, 2012)

QueenB said:


> my mom told me that if i swallowed dog hair, i would die, which was why we couldn't keep my dog in the house.
> 
> i also hated showering when i was younger, so she told me that my teachers called her up to tell me that they thought i smelled really bad and they were concerned. luls.



... you know You'd think this was a joke, but I had a 8th grade teacher seriously give a student who was a friend of mine a small basket of deoderant and shampoo. Now that being said i don't think you fell into quite the same category... but let me tell you this kid... my eyes were known to water around him


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## Tokyosheart (Apr 23, 2012)

A few years ago I finally told my mom I also like females... she paused and then said," its because you're fat that's why you don't have a boyfriend." And of course followed by, "you need to lose weight so you can get a boyfriend, & it's a must."


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## rockhound225 (Apr 23, 2012)

My parents were both pretty straight forward with me. Now, my dad with my sister is an entirely different matter. Here are the top two lies he told her, and that she believed up until a couple of years ago (by her won admittance)

"RPM stands for the number of times the tires go around per minute."

"The difference between a dwarf and a midget? Dwarves don't have knee caps." (Un-PC, I know, but I tell you only the truth if what he said...)


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## MillyLittleMonster (Apr 26, 2012)

That the tooth fairy was real...
God how gullible we are as a kid. Lol


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## Mitchapalooza (Apr 26, 2012)

My dad told me that if I didn't stay in school I would look like that big guy in goonies that has the messed up 
Face I was 6 so I believed him


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## CharlesCarmichael (Apr 30, 2012)

Oh, I got all the classics. For some reason, the tooth fairy myth lasted longer than Santa Claus. You'd have thought I'd have been sceptical after working that one out, wouldn't ya?

One I've just remembered though was that only the water from the kitchen was safe to drink. I have no idea why she told me that, perhaps it was to prevent me swallowing toothpasty water... I can't remember, but I do remember being told that XD


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## swinglifeaway (May 17, 2012)

CharlesCarmichael said:


> Oh, I got all the classics. For some reason, the tooth fairy myth lasted longer than Santa Claus. You'd have thought I'd have been sceptical after working that one out, wouldn't ya?
> 
> One I've just remembered though was that only the water from the kitchen was safe to drink. I have no idea why she told me that, perhaps it was to prevent me swallowing toothpasty water... I can't remember, but I do remember being told that XD



My parents did the same thing! I don't know when I actually figured out that it was total BS, but every roommate I've had looked at me weird when I was chugging water from the bathroom sink.


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## deanbpm (May 18, 2012)

My dad used to tell me he was a paratrooper in Vietnam. The problem with that is he is English and was born in 1959.


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## MasonBlue (May 29, 2012)

I was born and raised a Catholic in in ultra conservative Ireland.

My mother told me that god had a special plan for me ..... and when I was an alter boy I was especially close to God. Turn out I was especially close to a raging kiddy fiddler and embezzler of the church.


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## CastingPearls (May 29, 2012)

My father told me the pulp floating around the top of my cup or orange juice was horse feathers.


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## Theatrmuse/Kara (May 30, 2012)

My aunt told me and all my little cousins that if we picked up one of her Pekingese doggies and held it up side down............it's eyes would fall out of the sockets and they would be blind forever!  I believed this little lie (no doubt to keep us kids from aggrevating said doggies) until I was a young adult. LOLOL! Deathly afraid of messing with a Pekingese and would avoid even petting one at all costs.

Also, one Christmas, when I was about 7 years old, I was given a stocking from Santa that contained the dreaded coal and switches. That gave me a bit of guilt...........never did know what I was supposed to have done to deserve that one. Probably because I ALWAYS wanted a second dessert.

All in all, I am thankful to be a rational, somewhat sane individual now. LOL!
Kara


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## ItsJudy (Jun 6, 2012)

When I was little, I had thick, wavy/curly hair. I hated having my hair combed out in the morning and would always try to escape. She used to tell me there were big, scary rats in my hair and they were stuck. And she needed to brush them out.

And corn are old people's teeth (my older sister??)


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## MasonBlue (Jun 7, 2012)

Our parents told us that if we didnt study Irish (Gaelic) at honours level ... we wouldnt get jobs. The Irish teacher was a Fascist and all the parent were scared of him....... 17 years after leaving school and qualifying as both a chef and an Engineer ... I have never needed Irish. He told one woman her daughter was useless despite studying honours maths and physics ... she still went on to beconme an accountant


What a crock of S&*£!!!


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## livelovelaughsmile (Jul 4, 2012)

Nenona said:


> Mine generally gave me lots of shit about two things:
> 1.) my weight, claiming that the maaaagic loss of all my weight would finally make people love me.



My parents also told me this but stated it as "No one loves a fat girl". 

Found out that was a lie!


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## ClashCityRocker (Jul 4, 2012)

whenever i'd ask, "there's a mother's and a father's day, but why isn't there a kid's day?" they'd respond with 'every day is kid's day."


that used to bug me.


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## Surlysomething (Jul 4, 2012)

ClashCityRocker said:


> whenever i'd ask, "there's a mother's and a father's day, but why isn't there a kid's day?" they'd respond with 'every day is kid's day."
> 
> 
> that used to bug me.



My parents said the same thing to us. I guess it's in the handbook they get at the hospital the day you were born.


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## Tad (Jul 4, 2012)

ClashCityRocker said:


> whenever i'd ask, "there's a mother's and a father's day, but why isn't there a kid's day?" they'd respond with 'every day is kid's day."





Surlysomething said:


> My parents said the same thing to us. I guess it's in the handbook they get at the hospital the day you were born.



Nah, no handbook--just a self-evident truth ..... from a parents point of view


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## CastingPearls (Jul 4, 2012)

ClashCityRocker said:


> whenever i'd ask, "there's a mother's and a father's day, but why isn't there a kid's day?" they'd respond with 'every day is kid's day."
> 
> 
> *that used to bug me.*





Surlysomething said:


> My parents said the same thing to us. I guess it's in the handbook they get at the hospital the day you were born.



Me too. 

Another thing was, 'You're a kid. Kid's don't have problems. When you have to pay rent, utilities, insurance, grocery bills, etc. then you can have problems.'


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## NoWayOut (Jul 9, 2012)

That I'd ever want to be a kid again. No, thank you.


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## LusciousAmazon (Jul 12, 2012)

Whenever I didn't feel good, or complained in any way shape or form about being sick, a scratch on my knee.. It all with my mom responding, "It's Growing Pains"


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## CastingPearls (Jul 12, 2012)

When I told my mother I had a headache she'd say it was just because I was hungry. lol


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## ~KawaiiFFA~ (Dec 5, 2012)

My dad convinced me that leprechauns existed. One time when I misbehaved he stole my stuff. I was crying and he told me the leprechauns took it because I was bad. He made me write a note of apology to the leprechauns and then it mysteriously reappeared. I was like 3, okay?

This is also the guy who had a taxidermied deer hoof that he'd use to leave prints on the ground outside when I went to sleep on Christmas Eve. We'd leave carrots out at night and they'd all be chewed up in the morning. He left red and white fluff in the fireplace grate and boot-prints in the ash. He also responded to the letters we wrote. Eventually I started wondering why Santa's handwriting looked so much like Dad's, lol.

Oh, childhood. It wasn't all great but it sure was magical. xD


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## smithnwesson (Jan 22, 2013)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> If you masturbate, air will get sucked into your penis and go to your head and you'll go retarded . . .
> 
> I wish I was making that up. God Bless catholics. In my mother's defense she just wanted me to practice a craft or an art or read instead of pull on my dick all day. I have nothing but gratitude for this lie.
> 
> ...


They told me I would go blind if I masturbated. I backed off a little for about a week when I first had to start wearing glasses.


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## snuggletiger (Jan 22, 2013)

"Be yourself"


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## BLK360 (Mar 16, 2013)

Biggest lie I was told happened to be that they always knew what I was doing even if they didn't see it. 

I don't know how they expected me to believe that.


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## swinglifeaway (Jul 5, 2013)

LusciousAmazon said:


> Whenever I didn't feel good, or complained in any way shape or form about being sick, a scratch on my knee.. It all with my mom responding, "It's Growing Pains"



I'm definitely using that on my kids one day. 'Injuries are growing pains, son. The best thing you can do is learn from them, there's always a positive to be taken out of a negative' [/armchairparenting]


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## swinglifeaway (Jul 5, 2013)

~KawaiiFFA~ said:


> My dad convinced me that leprechauns existed. One time when I misbehaved he stole my stuff. I was crying and he told me the leprechauns took it because I was bad. He made me write a note of apology to the leprechauns and then it mysteriously reappeared. I was like 3, okay?
> 
> This is also the guy who had a taxidermied deer hoof that he'd use to leave prints on the ground outside when I went to sleep on Christmas Eve. We'd leave carrots out at night and they'd all be chewed up in the morning. He left red and white fluff in the fireplace grate and boot-prints in the ash. He also responded to the letters we wrote. Eventually I started wondering why Santa's handwriting looked so much like Dad's, lol.
> 
> Oh, childhood. It wasn't all great but it sure was magical. xD



I just told a 3 year old nephew that I had to go to outer space to fight Sasquatch. I'm okay with him believing this for a while. 

Your dad sounds pretty fantastic though.


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## LuckyDreamer87 (Jul 6, 2013)

My mom had me convinced that she had eyes in the back of her head. I tried finding them when she was sleeping but she told me they only appeared when I was doing something bad.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jul 7, 2013)

So empathize with many folks on this thread. My version was "No one will ever want to marry you until you lose weight."


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## SD007 (Jul 12, 2013)

I was sitting on my bed once upon a time, and a little hair floated down towards me. My mom (who's not even really religious) told me that it was a strand of her mom's hair that floated down from heaven.







...It was dog fur.


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## 1love_emily (Jul 12, 2013)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> So empathize with many folks on this thread. My version was "No one will ever want to marry you until you lose weight."



Mine's kind of the opposite. My parents told me that there would be always be someone who loved or wanted me.
I'm loved platonically and by my family, but I'm craving some romantic love.


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## DKnight00 (Jul 18, 2013)

"Video Games are not and will never be a career choice"

said my mother.


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## Mitchapalooza (Jul 23, 2013)

DKnight00 said:


> "Video Games are not and will never be a career choice"
> 
> said my mother.



GEEZE if she only knew. Some of those guys or girls make more than any physician or lawyerand they love what they do!


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## geekgamer01 (Aug 31, 2013)

Parents "We will support you in anything you do son. So what are you majoring in?"
Me "Philosophy."
Parents "Ok, anything except that."

Smh


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## reuben6380 (Sep 9, 2013)

My mother always said there were no monsters - no real ones - but there are.
Yes, there are, aren't there?
Why do they tell little kids that?
Most of the time it's true.


oh wait no, that was newt, nvm


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## Mitchapalooza (Oct 3, 2013)

Mine told me when we went to see goonies (early 80s). That if I didn't make good grades I would look like that big guy in the super man shirt!


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## spookytwigg (Oct 4, 2013)

If you ignore them then they'll go away.

A horrible horrible lie.


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## Mitchapalooza (Oct 4, 2013)

Hahah yeah I wish taxes went away if you ignored them


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## PolkaStripe (Oct 24, 2013)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> So empathize with many folks on this thread. My version was "No one will ever want to marry you until you lose weight."



I heard this one, or variations of it, until a few years ago and I believed it until I found this website(a few days ago). That's a bit embarrassing to admit.

My dad did make up a dead guy in the basement story too, complete with full back story and props. I don't remember there being a reason for it--I think he was just trying to freak us out.


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## LillyBBBW (Oct 24, 2013)

If I ever fell or hurt myself my mom would say, "Aww, come here let me kiss it and make it better. **smooch** 'Ere ya go. All better." And then she'd go back to reading her numbers.

She told me that if I stayed fat only old men would want me. The complete opposite turns out to be true.


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## ChaosServant (Oct 25, 2013)

DKnight00 said:


> "Video Games are not and will never be a career choice"
> 
> said my mother.



Lies!!!

And epic props to a fellow Dark Souls fan.:bow:


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## Fat Molly (Mar 7, 2014)

That my brother's brown hair was a result of him "drinking too much root beer." 

and a variety of other silly things like:

"sticks are antibacterial" when my infant brother was chewing on a stick in the woods

:doh:

and: Pokemon are little demons


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## leashywho (Apr 17, 2014)

My stepfather would get annoyed by me because I was constantly talking. When I was younger I had an intense fear of hiccups because normally when I'm hiccuping I get the painful ones. So he decided to tell me that people get hiccups because they talk. I was silent for the entire day after he told me that, I didn't say a word. My mom also used to tell my younger brother that if he peed in the shower it would come back out through shower hose when he showered. HA!


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