# Dim Bash Thread - The Feeder/Feedee Lifestyle



## Duniwin (Jun 24, 2009)

We wanted to bring the topics we discussed in the bash workshops back to the Dimensions community for further discussion. A full list of the workshops is <<here>>, but this thread is for discussion based on the Feeder/Feedee Lifestyle workshop specifically.

Use this thread to continue the discussion, give feedback, or bring up more topics you’d like to see covered in the future.
*
The Feeder/Feedee Lifestyle*
Moderator: SoVerySoft (Randi)
Panel: LillyBBW, Falstaff400 (Dave G.), Ashley, Duniwin (Andy), HeatherBBW, Russ2d
Drop your preconceived notions at the door. For anyone who is living the lifestyle, has feeder/feedee fantasies, or is genuinely (and non-judgmentally) curious, a panel will answer questions and discuss the reality behind the feeder stereotype. Participants are expected to be respectful of people’s right to explore their fantasies and pursue consensual sexual activity.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jun 24, 2009)

Thank you Andy for starting this thread. Larry and I enjoyed the workshop and feel that we were able to learn and share with the rest of the group.

One of the things that I personally thought was very interesting was the many different "levels" or nuances that are within feederism.

Some people like to eat, some like to be fed, some like to feed, some like to watch, some don't, some like to gain and some like to see gaining. And this is only a small list of differences.

Larry and I came away from the meeting with a new found sense of acceptance for who we are and what we like. I will wear my own label proudly - dominant feedee. 

I hope that in this thread we can have an open and frank discussion about what we like or would like to try. Learn from each other while respecting each other's opinions and ideas.

I would respectfully ask anyone posting in this thread to remain on topic and open minded. Like the blurb for the meeting said "please leave all preconceived notions and negativity at the door."


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## Russ2d (Jun 25, 2009)

Hey now, how could you forget I was on the panel!!!! 

The shop was good but I wish we had spent more time on feeders and feedees and not so much time on "food" and "foodees".


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## D_A_Bunny (Jun 25, 2009)

Russ, I think here would be a good place to discuss some of the things that we may not have touched upon enough. 

I would be very interested to read whatever you have to say. Please share.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 25, 2009)

SoVerySoft was also on the panel, don't forget her! I've never felt more exposed. That was a lot harder than I imagined it would be. It was a good topic though.


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## exile in thighville (Jun 25, 2009)

oh _god_ come the fuck on


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## Weeze (Jun 25, 2009)

D_A_Bunny said:


> Larry and I came away from the meeting with a new found sense of acceptance for who we are and what we like. I will wear my own label proudly - dominant feedee.



So, I'm all for this thread.
I'm not sure what i'm... ready to add... yet, but this statement just made me a slightly loud "WOO!" come from me. Good for you, DA 
Me? 
I'm a *feedee* first. Occasional feeder. Mutual gainer (we all have our moods. )

Ninja Feedee, remember?


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## Tooz (Jun 25, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> oh _god_ come the fuck on



oh _god_ come the fuck on


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## exile in thighville (Jun 25, 2009)

Tooz said:


> oh _god_ come the fuck on



i c wht u dd thr


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## exile in thighville (Jun 25, 2009)

as a young feeder i was worried no one would understand and i'd never get laid, so a lot of my old posts care very deeply about whether or not people had the RIGHT IDEA. but in my old age i'm more or less disinterested in doing PR for my dick.

the discussion was probably really well done, it's just the idea of having it at all that makes me cringe, like society's so dumb they need everything explained to them: OH I USED TO THINK FEEDING WAS BAD UNTIL I MET ONE...it's like when someone's homophobic until they find out they have a gay in the family.

i'm being highly subjective here, i'm not making an argument other than i personally totally detest catering to curious outsiders at this point.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 25, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> as a young feeder i was worried no one would understand and i'd never get laid, so a lot of my old posts care very deeply about whether or not people had the RIGHT IDEA. but in my old age i'm more or less disinterested in doing PR for my dick.
> 
> the discussion was probably really well done, it's just the idea of having it at all that makes me cringe, like society's so dumb they need everything explained to them: OH I USED TO THINK FEEDING WAS BAD UNTIL I MET ONE...it's like when someone's homophobic until they find out they have a gay in the family.
> 
> i'm being highly subjective here, i'm not making an argument other than i personally totally detest catering to curious outsiders at this point.



I was on the panel and I happen to agree with you. In fact I think it was the first thing out of my mouth in the feeling that this has to be a "thing" at all and we have to hold meetings and stuff. It may comfort or disturb you to know that nobody except those who were already at an understanding was there. The rest of them were out at the pool getting sun poisoning.

As for those that were there it was great to be among people who were on the same page evan with varying degrees of interest. It was good to see each other and say, "I like b, c and f." It seemed better at helping us to better understand ourselves than to present ourselves to the world as worthy or relevant.


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## exile in thighville (Jun 25, 2009)

yeah, i know and respect the people who held it with the best intentions, but i'm all just like maaaan


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## exile in thighville (Jun 25, 2009)

but then i'm also grossed out by a roomful of people who understand high-fiving each other about how cool they are

YOU GUYS JUST CAN'T WIN


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## D_A_Bunny (Jun 25, 2009)

First off, I was really hoping that if someone, anyone didn't have something good to share, or offer, or question, that for once, they might just let this thing grow on its own with sunshine and proper nutrients. 

Alas, I was wrong. But I will gently address this situation because I for one want to have this conversation with this community and whomever wants to join in is more than welcome.

Not everyone is comfortable with what they like. If you are, that is great, but instead of thinking less of those trying to figure it out, help out, or stay out. Do not judge.

I learned in the workshop that there are some people who may be considered feedees whose main goal is weight gain. I personally am not into weight gain. I am all about the food. 

Then there are some people who are feeders who want to watch, some don't. Some enjoy the act of bringing or cooking the food for others. Some actually want to feed their mate, others don't. 

Some people enjoy adding sex into the act, before, during or after.

I enjoy listening to others that have some similar situations and learning from them and about them. I also get ideas that I might want to consider.

There are still some people that are shy about what they like. Hopefully this thread will allow them to explore some of what feederism entails and take away the stigma attached to it.

Please, I ask everyone, contribute to this thread, but do so with an open mind and a positive approach. I don't think that is too much to ask for.


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## indy500tchr (Jun 25, 2009)

Well it was my understanding that they tried to create workshops that included all aspects of the Dimensions boards. SSBBW, BHM/FFA, GLBTQ, and Feeder/Feedee. I think it's always nice to get together and share with a group that holds a commonality to share with one another. Don't think it was intended on being some sort of "show". I wasn't there but heard a lot of positive things that came out of the workshop.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 25, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> yeah, i know and respect the people who held it with the best intentions, but i'm all just like maaaan



Yeah, well you're at a place where other people may not be. I suspect that as the years pass a lot of people who were there at the workshop will transition to sunning at the pool with all the rest while a new crowd takes their place. There will always be people who like to hang around with others who share a common interest though, not everyone is a raving antisocial like you exile.


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## Duniwin (Jun 25, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> as a young feeder i was worried no one would understand and i'd never get laid, so a lot of my old posts care very deeply about whether or not people had the RIGHT IDEA. but in my old age i'm more or less disinterested in doing PR for my dick.
> 
> i'm being highly subjective here, i'm not making an argument other than i personally totally detest catering to curious outsiders at this point.



You bring up a good point. I understand and respect the point of view you now hold, and by the same token I understand and respect the perspective that you used to hold, and many young FAs still do.
You have matured as a person, and no longer need a public relations forum to prop up or justify your position, and that's great. However there are people who have not reached that point yet.
Perhaps if we had a bash workshop like this 5-10 years ago, it would have been helpful to you, rather than to the younger set who are just coming to terms with feederism.

This first Feeder / Feedee workshop focused heavily on that sort of advocacy / PR piece of the puzzle, which as you point out is not necessarily a constructive use of time for some people. In a sense it can be preaching to the choir.
I personally would have preferred to talk about some of the smaller details, and maybe next year we can focus more on that. Details about things you can do in a relationship to please your feeder / feedee partner when you are not turned on by that sort of thing.
I would have liked to talk more about ways to incorporate food into foreplay & sex, ways to include "fat / weight gain talk" as a form of "dirty talk" for those that have those sorts of fantasies.
My girlfriend was there as a partner of a feeder and wanted to know what to do to please her boyfriend when she was too full after a large meal to want to have sex. She knew there must be some way to turn that to her advantage, but wanted advice on how.

Discussion of these topics can be educational and fun for feeders, feedees, and those in relationships with them, without being preachy.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jun 25, 2009)

And I say we discuss those things now. Isn't that the point of bringing it to the boards? If anyone (exhile are you there?) knows some fun things to do, maybe he/she can share them. 

Sometimes we know what we want and sometimes we hear something and then realize we might want to try. 

For example, in my relationship, I like food. I didn't know for years that when my husband was bringing me things that I wanted, that he was also getting pleasure from the act. I thought that I was being pushy and just lucked out that this great guy was willing to accomodate.

Now that we have been together many years, we are still learning new things about ourselves thru open communication. I also get ideas from things that I read online.

I was never "turned on" by feeding, but I sure learned how to turn things to my advantage. So now there is more play involved.

I really want those that are into it can share some of their personal stories so that we can have an open and open minded conversation.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 25, 2009)

D_A_Bunny said:


> And I say we discuss those things now. Isn't that the point of bringing it to the boards? If anyone (exhile are you there?) knows some fun things to do, maybe he/she can share them.
> 
> Sometimes we know what we want and sometimes we hear something and then realize we might want to try.
> 
> ...



That can be very difficult for some people, especially in a workshop with people looking right at you. It really is like putting your junk up on the table in front of everyone. Lifestyle or no, not everyone is comfortable with that. There were some things at the workshop I had a hard time articulating that I might have had an easier time talking about here on the forum. I heard the "stuffed to the gills" inquiry but wouldn't touch it. I wasn't certain if going in to that territory was appropriate or if *I* wanted to be the one to cut the ribbon on it. Plus the workshop was almost over. I didn't want it to end focused on my privates you know? Bleh. :blush:


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## D_A_Bunny (Jun 25, 2009)

But are you comfortable discussing it here? Because isn't that why we brought the subject up here in a thread. Not just that *you* speak, because if you do that is great, but if you aren't comfortable, that is ok too.

I too wanted to discuss some nitty gritty specifics. You and I had a private discussion prior to the workshop that I would probably be hesitant about bringing up unless someone else did. I guess someone is going to have to start.

Anyone?


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## Russ2d (Jun 25, 2009)

D_A_Bunny said:


> Russ, I think here would be a good place to discuss some of the things that we may not have touched upon enough.
> 
> I would be very interested to read whatever you have to say. Please share.




Unfortunately I have to leave for work, I will jump back on when I get home, but I agree with Lilly that the entire "controversy" is both mystifying and for me anyway rather ridiculous.

When I first joined I was shocked when I first found out how much hostility there was over something as simple as this. I mean FAs love a woman to be fat and many would love their women to be even fatter, and women can't be fat without food, sooooo, to me the whole thing is pretty simple...and should be just another fun sensual / sexual thing we can do together... but no

Off the top of my head, quick:

1. Obviously there are people who have not come to a place of self-acceptance so feeding in any form stirs up anger, self loathing

2. There exists some anti-male (Feeder) sentiment. If a man expresses a fantasy or a desire to fatten up a woman or god forbid a woman wants to do something for the man in her life, especially before the rules were changed getting jumped on was guaranteed. I still see a lot of walking on egg shells with many posters on the various boards...

3. Too many people have the attitude that if I am not into something or if I'm offended by something than no one else should be allowed to engage that activity

My rather rushed 2 cents- gotta run


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## Russ2d (Jun 25, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> That can be very difficult for some people, especially in a workshop with people looking right at you. It really is like putting your junk up on the table in front of everyone. Lifestyle or no, not everyone is comfortable with that. There were some things at the workshop I had a hard time articulating that I might have had an easier time talking about here on the forum. I heard the "stuffed to the gills" inquiry but wouldn't touch it. I wasn't certain if going in to that territory was appropriate or if *I* wanted to be the one to cut the ribbon on it. Plus the workshop was almost over. I didn't want it to end focused on my privates you know? Bleh. :blush:



Yeah with people staring at you it can be tough... you did great  There was a lot more I wanted to go into too


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## D_A_Bunny (Jun 25, 2009)

I guess that I am sensing two different avenues within this one thread. The first one being the acceptance of feederism, whether it be within ourselves and/or partners or with the world.

The second avenue is the discussion of the lifestyle and it's many variances.

I am eager to discuss either. I do think that the second avenue might be more interesting and take a little more bravery or openness by anyone willing to participate.

Either way, I really want this thread to stay positive and open minded.


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## Ivy (Jun 25, 2009)

i wasn't at the bash, so obviously i did not attend the workshop.

anyway, re: too full for sex

depending on the size of your partner and the size of your penis this position is awesome when the girl is too full for sex but still really, really wants to go at it. the best part about it is that if they guy takes it really slow he can give his partner a really nice belly rub while they do their thing. i HIGHLY recommend this. 

p.s. huge thank you to Cors for relinking me to the site linked above.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jun 25, 2009)

That looks awesome Ivy. And that is exactly the kind of information I would love to share and have shared. Thank you!


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## Eclectic_Girl (Jun 25, 2009)

Excellent info - thanks Ivy!

Exile, I understand you not wanting to have to justify yourself. Perhaps you have the good luck to only be involved with enthusiastic feedees at this point in your development. If so, mazel tov. Some of us are trying to navigate our way in relationships where we're trying to meet both our partner's and our own needs at the same time - when those needs aren't always the same. 

The point of the workshop (as I envisioned it, anyhow) was to spread a little understanding, not to justify anyone's desires. That everyone has the right to their desires was a given, not the topic of conversation - as spelled out in the description: "Participants are expected to be respectful of people’s right to explore their fantasies and pursue consensual sexual activity."

Oh, and Miss L. - I'll PM you for info about your privates.


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## Ivy (Jun 25, 2009)

Eclectic_Girl said:


> Excellent info - thanks Ivy!





D_A_Bunny said:


> That looks awesome Ivy. And that is exactly the kind of information I would love to share and have shared. Thank you!



it is awesome. you should take part in it asap if it is physically possible for you and your partner. 

and you're welcome ladies! i'm out the door now (lunching with di-va!), but i look forward to seeing what direction this thread takes.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 25, 2009)

Thanks for posting that link Ivy. The position that worked for me was this one. This won't work for everybody though. I might try yours out some day before I die Ivy.


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## indy500tchr (Jun 25, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> Thanks for posting that link Ivy. The position that worked for me was this one. This won't work for everybody though. I might try yours out some day before I die Ivy.



I am a big fan of that position!!!!


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## exile in thighville (Jun 25, 2009)

Eclectic_Girl said:


> Excellent info - thanks Ivy!The point of the workshop (as I envisioned it, anyhow) was to spread a little understanding, not to justify anyone's desires. That everyone has the right to their desires was a given, not the topic of conversation - as spelled out in the description: "Participants are expected to be respectful of peoples right to explore their fantasies and pursue consensual sexual activity."



My first thoughts obviously went to a gay couple being asked who pitches and who catches. Too pedagogical for my taste but I see the purpose now that I have a better picture.

And I used to be freer about sharing ideas and fantasies before some real think tanks borrowed them to make money off of them.


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## Ivy (Jun 25, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> And I used to be freer about sharing ideas and fantasies before some real think tanks borrowed them to make money off of them.



pretty sure that a) if the people making the product in question are actually into the fetish they may have similar fantasies and b) nothing is original and paysite girls get the same requests over and over and over again. nothing is original.

this thread is not about making money off of a fantasy. it's about sharing information and helping people who have questions/issues about making a particular fetish work for them and their partners. no need to be so angry.


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## exile in thighville (Jun 26, 2009)

no comment.


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## troubadours (Jun 26, 2009)

idk it's pretty hard to be original, especially here. you post pictures of yourself in belted dresses and next thing you know, everyone is wearing them. i guess i will go back to jeans.


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## troubadours (Jun 26, 2009)

Ivy said:


> i wasn't at the bash, so obviously i did not attend the workshop.
> 
> anyway, re: too full for sex
> 
> ...



my ass is too fat for that


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## Ivy (Jun 26, 2009)

troubadours said:


> my ass is too fat for that



unless your vagina is located in your asshole or your boyfriend has a small penis or is bad in bed it really shouldn't be a problem. i have friends who are very bottom heavy and 500+ pounds that have no problem with the position.


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## Russ2d (Jun 26, 2009)

I was going to suggest maybe we share some feeder/feedee fantasies but it's just not going to work... at the Bash in person we're more of a community... trying to duplicate any sense of that here seems futile


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## KHayes666 (Jun 26, 2009)

Could be worse, I could have been there lol


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## exile in thighville (Jun 26, 2009)

what if the asshole is located in my girlfriend's vagina


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 26, 2009)

Russ2d said:


> I was going to suggest maybe we share some feeder/feedee fantasies but it's just not going to work... at the Bash in person we're more of a community... trying to duplicate any sense of that here seems futile
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I'm not opposed to fantasy talk at all but there are so many threads about that here already. Unless yours includes genie pants and Beano® it has probably already been talked about.


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## Blackjack (Jun 26, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> I'm not opposed to fantasy talk at all but there are so many threads about that here already. Unless yours includes genie pants and Beano® it has probably already been talked about.



Although recently it seems as though if it's about genie pants or Beano or whatever random, inane shit, it will have been discussed. In fact, perfectly good threads will be derailed in order to discuss the inside jokes of a few.

I think that it might be a good idea to try and have some sort of discussion on fantasy in a panel like we had at the bash, really; although it might be a bit too personal for people to share face-to-face with a crowd, which would be an issue.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 26, 2009)

Ok I'll go first. I'm an FA so I like fat. I like it on me and on my partner but I don't *need* fat to be present. If neither of us were fat it wouldn't make much difference. I'm about as dull and ordinary as you can get until I am turned on. I fantasize that I'm growing in every place, clothing bursting, furniture crushing beneath me, etc. till the orgasm is over. Talk of gaining excites me and I'm a foodee who likes to be full and sated. Not always arousing but it can be.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 26, 2009)

See? This is exactly why I hate sharing. I would throw my stuff out there and then the thread would be immediatley killed. For crying out loud, somebody SAY something so my post isn't just sitting there like a Baby Ruth in a swimming pool. Shees!


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## Tad (Jun 26, 2009)

Lilly--it isn't easy to do this. I have a dozen or more finished stories, and at least twice that many unfinished, that only partially explore my feelings around this. Trying to put it into a few sentences? Agh!

I like fat on anyone, and think anyone gaining weight is interesting, and anyone deliberately gaining weight is OMGSEXAYY!!!! ....in fantasies in my head. Real life is way more complicated, and even when it comes to admiring others it is not so simple for me. My fantasies often include experiencing the physical changes of weight, like taking up more space, or finding it harder to climb stairs, or having to adapt sexual positions for newly fatter bodies. For me probably the sexiest parts of such fantasies are the choices, to let oneself gain, to deliberately gain, to keep gaining despite obstacles, and so on, so when it comes to fantasy I often have things reach a point where continuing to gain faces some real obstacles, and the people involved choose to keep doing it anyway (pretty much the opposite of how I am in real life, which is probably part of the appeal).

OK, next!


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## Ivy (Jun 26, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> Ok I'll go first. I'm an FA so I like fat. I like it on me and on my partner but I don't *need* fat to be present. If neither of us were fat it wouldn't make much difference. I'm about as dull and ordinary as you can get until I am turned on. I fantasize that I'm growing in every place, clothing bursting, furniture crushing beneath me, etc. till the orgasm is over. Talk of gaining excites me and I'm a foodee who likes to be full and sated. Not always arousing but it can be.



great post lilly! while i am not an FA myself, i definitely identify with all of the fantasy stuff here. i am a huge fan of my partner talking about me gaining even more weight in addition to talking about what i've already gained. unfitness/being out of shape is also a huge turn on for me as well and talking about that almost always seems to make it into dirty talk. i have immobility fantasies as well, and i've had partners who wanted to role play that which has been pretty fun and interesting to say the least.

as far as fullness goes, i think that it's a lot hotter in fantasy (for me). i love overeating, but eating to the point of being sick kind of sucks a lot of the time when it comes to reality. it definitely can be really arousing and has a time and a place.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 26, 2009)

Yes, the lazy and unfitness aspect is a turnon for me as well. I've been uncertain about going so far as naming immobility as a part of my fantasies because the atmosphere around that particular fantasy always seems so... I dont know, "special." The mystique around some of these things seems way over the top at times where it doesn't really play out like that at least for me. But it is a part of what I like now that I look back. It's not something I'd want in real life but I have role played and been immensely happy to just lie there and let my lover feed and stuff me and rub my belly all weekend. I loved not being able to get up yet not really needing to.


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## Ivy (Jun 26, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> Yes, the lazy and unfitness aspect is a turnon for me as well. I've been uncertain about going so far as naming immobility as a part of my fantasies because the atmosphere around that particular fantasy always seems so... I dont know, "special." The mystique around some of these things seems way over the top at times where it doesn't really play out like that at least for me. But it is a part of what I like now that I look back. It's not something I'd want in real life but I have role played and been immensely happy to just lie there and let my lover feed and stuff me and rub my belly all weekend. I loved not being able to get up yet not really needing to.



i completely agree with all of this. immobility fantasies still seem to be very taboo, which is kind of understandable since some people do not understand the differences between someone talking about fantasy and reality. it is definitely not something that i want for reality, but with the right partner and the right mood it is a fun fantasy to play with.


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## Blackjack (Jun 26, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> Ok I'll go first. I'm an FA so I like fat. I like it on me and on my partner but I don't *need* fat to be present. If neither of us were fat it wouldn't make much difference. I'm about as dull and ordinary as you can get until I am turned on. I fantasize that I'm growing in every place, clothing bursting, furniture crushing beneath me, etc. till the orgasm is over. Talk of gaining excites me and I'm a foodee who likes to be full and sated. Not always arousing but it can be.



My fantasies are fairly similar, although it's my partner that does the growing and not me.

What I'm "into" kind of shifts around, though. Sometimes it's very grounded in reality, but other times it shifts to the impossible and is probably closer to inflation than feeding. There's an emphasis at times on pressure/release, like buttons popping, clothing bursting, at times even outgrowing a room or building, that sort of thing. I believe that it's synonymous in my mind with orgasm. Other times, though, it's the fat itself that is sexual, and just that can make me achieve orgasm.

So the fantasies will reflect what's currently catching my fancy.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jun 26, 2009)

Yeah, my peeps are sharing, thank you!

For me, I was a foodie before I ever even knew what a feedee was. My husband has shared his fantasies with me only after having already been in the relationship for quite awhile.

For us, it started out as my great new guy bringing me food and me thinking that this is the best thing ever. He of course was enjoying watching me eat, showing me the pleasures of a belly rub and watching the eventual weight gain.

It took me years to fully understand that this was an actual and specific turn on for him. Once I understood that, I then started to realize that I could incorporate his fantasies into mine. I will use my desire for food to turn him on by demanding things and then talking about the results. 

I am personally not into weight gain per se, because I don't mind being fat, I just don't like being heavy. I would take up alot more space if it wasn't so dang hard to carry it around when necessary.

There are many times that I incorporate food into sex and sex into food, because it is a win/win situation. I like the power and control that I have while I am "enchanting" my mate.

I like to hear about what others may be doing because sometimes it gives me ideas of something that I or my mate might like, and then I can surprise him, or discuss it in advance. Sometimes just talking about things is good because we can explore possibilities.


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## mango (Jun 26, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> what if the asshole is located in my girlfriend's vagina



*I think you're putting the food in the wrong end... go back and re-check the instruction manual.

:doh:*


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 26, 2009)

D_A_Bunny said:


> Yeah, my peeps are sharing, thank you!
> 
> For me, I was a foodie before I ever even knew what a feedee was. My husband has shared his fantasies with me only after having already been in the relationship for quite awhile.
> 
> ...



I agree DAB. In my first and only feeder/feedee relationship I recall he and I connected so strongly in our desires. We didn't even know it was a 'thing' as it seemed to evolve naturally for us. This was problematic because outside of that aspect of our relationship we found each other irritating. As a matter of fact we were on our way to breaking up til we stumbled upon this new kick. At that instant we were insanely in love and would die for each other, much to the unsettling astonishment of everyone who knew us. Once fantasy land was over the spell was broken as we were reminded that we aren't on the same wavelength otherwise. I think what stikes me as terrific about you and L is that you have so much common ground in your relationship outside of that. Striking only to me maybe because of my experiences with it.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jun 26, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> I agree DAB. In my first and only feeder/feedee relationship I recall he and I connected so strongly in our desires. We didn't even know it was a 'thing' as it seemed to evolve naturally for us. This was problematic because outside of that aspect of our relationship we found each other irritating. As a matter of fact we were on our way to breaking up til we stumbled upon this new kick. At that instant we were insanely in love and would die for each other, much to the unsettling astonishment of everyone who knew us. Once fantasy land was over the spell was broken as we were reminded that we aren't on the same wavelength otherwise. I think what stikes me as terrific about you and L is that you have so much common ground in your relationship outside of that. Striking only to me maybe because of my experiences with it.



Thank you Lilly. Obviously for us it is a bonus that we are in a committed relationship. I would love him even if he didn't bring me treats on command.


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## exile in thighville (Jun 26, 2009)

mango said:


> *I think you're putting the food in the wrong end... go back and re-check the instruction manual.*


*

i'll put it in whatever end i want to  guava or whatever your name is*


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## Russ2d (Jun 27, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> See? This is exactly why I hate sharing. I would throw my stuff out there and then the thread would be immediatley killed. For crying out loud, somebody SAY something so my post isn't just sitting there like a Baby Ruth in a swimming pool. Shees!



HAHA- you're awesome Lilly... ok

One of mine (I have many ) is sort of a combo self stuffing and squashing where the girl sits on my body (preferably with a very fat butt that can cover most of my torso down to my groin) and she stuffs herself silly while occasionally asking me if I can feel her getting fatter or telling me how fat she's going to get for me and that I better be able to handle it- you get the picture- I did get to experience something like this although just once but it was very fun for the both of us


I also have a force feeding fantasy where I role-play kidnapping a girl to fatten her up, which I believe is the biggest taboo of the whole feeding community so I'll save the details but I think it would be great fun


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jun 27, 2009)

I'm wishing now that I'd come to this workshop - it's definitely on my list for next year.

I still have no idea where I fit into the grand spectrum of all of this. Guess it's time to out myself -

I love eating (duh. lol), I love food, and I love being sexual with/about eating. By which I mean I like when my partner brings me food, I like teasing him by eating it, I enjoy knowing he's getting turned on while I eat. I enjoy the sense of power that comes from being able to turn him on without anyone else knowing we're being sexual. For example, in a restaurant. How many passersby would know that when I'm saying "Oh, god, I'm getting SO full. But I don't want to stop eating" that I'm actually turning on my partner? And I'm also turned on by the fact I can make a comment like this anytime...anywhere...and know he'll be turned on by it, even if it's out of the blue. To me, that's very sexy. 

I have absolutely no clue what label applies to me, if any - I just know what I like. 

I am personally NOT turned on by gaining talk/roleplay (and definitely not by my own actual gain), but I'm not repulsed by gaining talk either. That kind of roleplay/fantasy is one of those things I'd do for my partner now and then if that's what got him going - just like I'd hope he'd do some little things that may not be his cup of tea if he knows that's what gets ME going. 

Am I just a foodee? Am I more than that? Who knows. But it's who I am.


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## RayanamiNGE (Jun 27, 2009)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> I'm wishing now that I'd come to this workshop - it's definitely on my list for next year.
> 
> I still have no idea where I fit into the grand spectrum of all of this. Guess it's time to out myself -
> 
> ...



I'm in love, lol.

No but seriously, i think your just a foodee, who knows how to tease, lol. You know what to say to your lover to get them in the mood, and you apparently do it well. I think that your similar to me, the feeding and food thing is a bedroom activity. I like the idea if a woman gains, but it's her body, not mine. I do how ever love to watch a woman eat, or if she lets me, I feed her. But I think I keep it to the bed room. I want to find the love for the rest of my life, not the love of how ever much time shes got left because she gains weight and is shortening her life. I know thats sorta blunt, but I wanna grow old with my lover, and die, well, together... I think I'd be happy if my lover gained weight all the time until she passes, then I'd be heartbroken, and wonder if I could have done anything to extend her life...


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## FaxMachine1234 (Jun 27, 2009)

RayanamiNGE said:


> I'm in love, lol.
> 
> No but seriously, i think your just a foodee, who knows how to tease, lol. You know what to say to your lover to get them in the mood, and you apparently do it well. I think that your similar to me, the feeding and food thing is a bedroom activity. I like the idea if a woman gains, but it's her body, not mine. I do how ever love to watch a woman eat, or if she lets me, I feed her. But I think I keep it to the bed room. I want to find the love for the rest of my life, not the love of how ever much time shes got left because she gains weight and is shortening her life. I know thats sorta blunt, but I wanna grow old with my lover, and die, well, together... I think I'd be happy if my lover gained weight all the time until she passes, then I'd be heartbroken, and wonder if I could have done anything to extend her life...



Are you suggesting people cannot gain weight while in the confines of a bedroom? I don't think that's how the world works.


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## RayanamiNGE (Jun 27, 2009)

Ekim said:


> Are you suggesting people cannot gain weight while in the confines of a bedroom? I don't think that's how the world works.



I suggested nothing, those were my opinions. People can, and do gain weight when they are home bound, but I just am saying that, yes it may be sexy, and yes I would very much enjoy the new weight, but it's selfish for me to even fathom that they should sacrifice their lives and health for my personal enjoyment. I think that my fantasies should be just that, fantasies and not reality.

My opinions are mine alone, and I do not ask for you to understand, nor accept them as your own.


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## OneWickedAngel (Jun 27, 2009)

...subscribing...


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## SoVerySoft (Jun 27, 2009)

Russ2d said:


> Hey now, how could you forget I was on the panel!!!! ...



Added!



LillyBBBW said:


> SoVerySoft was also on the panel, don't forget her!...



I was listed as moderator. Yeah, I know - I didn't moderate. 




RayanamiNGE said:


> ...but it's selfish for me to even fathom that they should sacrifice their lives and health for my personal enjoyment. I think that my fantasies should be just that, fantasies and not reality...



The Erotic Weight Gain Forum is a protected forum where fantasies can be explored and is not the place for negative discussion such as this.


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## RayanamiNGE (Jun 27, 2009)

SoVerySoft said:


> The Erotic Weight Gain Forum is a protected forum where fantasies can be explored and is not the place for negative discussion such as this.



I am not knocking it at all, hell I do have the fantasies and explore them all the time, I was just sharing who I am. I am in no way attacking or defaming the Feedee-feeder community. I am a feeder, just not to the extreme of some. 

I thought that this is a discussion thread, not a one way of thought thread, and all others beat it. 

I enjoy reading the stories on the weight threads, I really like a lot of them. but my personal opinion ((opinions are not supposed to be forced upon others, just shared)) is that I ((only me, not everyone else)) should keep my fantasies as fantasies. For everyone that peruses those feederism fantasies, I envy you! Because you want to have it, and will hopefully someday have it. I hope that you find what you want, we all deserve to find what makes us happy!!! I just...


Maybe I think that I don't deserve to have my fantasies and what I want to be realized, but that's another discussion for another day...


I in no way meant for what I was saying to be taken as an attack, please don't take it that way. If you still think that it was an attack, or you were offended by it, please just tell me, and I will not post on this thread.


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## SoVerySoft (Jun 27, 2009)

RayanamiNGE said:


> ...I in no way meant for what I was saying to be taken as an attack, please don't take it that way. If you still think that it was an attack, or you were offended by it, please just tell me, and I will not post on this thread.



No, it was not an attack - had it been, I would have deleted it. But I wanted to make sure this didn't turn into an argument about "feedees sacrificing life and health".

Please do continue to post in this thread.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jun 27, 2009)

Russ2d said:


> HAHA- you're awesome Lilly... ok
> 
> One of mine (I have many ) is sort of a combo self stuffing and squashing where the girl sits on my body (preferably with a very fat butt that can cover most of my torso down to my groin) and she stuffs herself silly while occasionally asking me if I can feel her getting fatter or telling me how fat she's going to get for me and that I better be able to handle it- you get the picture-



Well Russ, I can tell you that you are not the only one with this fantasy (coughcoughLarry) and that it is something on the agenda for us. As the partner to a feeder with this fantasy, it is quite interesting to me and in fact the power and control is a turn on for me.

I think the only reason this fantasy has yet to come to light is because I am still learning myself how to incorporate food, a separate love for me, into something that occurs *during* sex which for years it did not.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jun 27, 2009)

sorry - double post


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## LoveBHMS (Jun 29, 2009)

Russ2d said:


> HAHA- you're awesome Lilly... ok
> 
> One of mine (I have many ) is sort of a combo self stuffing and squashing where the girl sits on my body (preferably with a very fat butt that can cover most of my torso down to my groin) and she stuffs herself silly while occasionally asking me if I can feel her getting fatter or telling me how fat she's going to get for me and that I better be able to handle it- you get the picture- I did get to experience something like this although just once but it was very fun for the both of us
> 
> ...



See this is why there needs to be a massive shift in thinking and acceptable behaviour within this community. It's always been weird to me how a bunch of adults can't differentiate between the concept of fantasy as in "something that one finds sexually arousing" and fantasy as in "something you want or expect to happen in real life."

Example. If you buy a lottery ticket, you fantasize about actually winning and think about how great it would be to buy a Rolls Royce or take a round the world cruise. Even though you know it probably won't happen, you do actually want to win.

OTOH, if you fantasize about killing your boss, it might give you pleasure because you hate him/her and you've suffered at work or been abused and you enjoy thinking about bringing harm to somebody who has harmed you. However, if you were given the opportunity to actually murder somebody, you probably would not do it.

So with something like immobility, it can't be that hard to understand that a person might fantasize (as in become sexually excited at the thought) of being too fat to move, but not actually WANT to be unable to move. Same with Russ's fantasy of kidnapping and feeding. I think on a message board populated by adults, on a thread devoted to erotic weight gain, a feeder should be able to express that fantasy, and it should be totally unacceptable to trash it.

If Russ had the freedom to express those things, it might be healthy for him to just be able to put it out there. It might make somebody else who has a similar fantasy feel just a *little* bit less like a freak or as if s/he is the only one who feels that way. A woman who has the fantasy of being the kidnapped one might feel great knowing that somebody out there fantasizes about doing to her what she fantasizes about having done. It might even just educate others about a variation on human sexuality of which there are many.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 29, 2009)

LoveBHMS said:


> See this is why there needs to be a massive shift in thinking and acceptable behaviour within this community. It's always been weird to me how a bunch of adults can't differentiate between the concept of fantasy as in "something that one finds sexually arousing" and fantasy as in "something you want or expect to happen in real life."
> 
> Example. If you buy a lottery ticket, you fantasize about actually winning and think about how great it would be to buy a Rolls Royce or take a round the world cruise. Even though you know it probably won't happen, you do actually want to win.
> 
> ...



That is especially true if the person in question is an honest person in every other way. If someone has a fantasy about being kidnapped or anything else like this and would like to roleplay there is great comfort in knowing your partner is an ordinary trustworthy person with similar values to their own, not a serial killer or some sicko likely to inflict _actual_ harm.


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## OneWickedAngel (Jun 29, 2009)

Russ2d said:


> ...snip...
> I also have a force feeding fantasy where I role-play kidnapping a girl to fatten her up, which I believe is the biggest taboo of the whole feeding community so I'll save the details but I think it would be great fun





LoveBHMS said:


> See this is why there needs to be a massive shift in thinking and acceptable behaviour within this community. It's always been weird to me how a bunch of adults can't differentiate between the concept of fantasy as in "something that one finds sexually arousing" and fantasy as in "something you want or expect to happen in real life."
> 
> ...snip...
> If Russ had the freedom to express those things, it might be healthy for him to just be able to put it out there. *It might make somebody else who has a similar fantasy feel just a *little* bit less like a freak or as if s/he is the only one who feels that way. A woman who has the fantasy of being the kidnapped one might feel great knowing that somebody out there fantasizes about doing to her what she fantasizes about having done.* It might even just educate others about a variation on human sexuality of which there are many.





LillyBBBW said:


> That is especially true if the person in question is an honest person in every other way. If someone has a fantasy about being kidnapped or anything else like this and would like to roleplay there is great comfort in knowing your partner is an ordinary trustworthy person with similar values to their own, not a serial killer or some sicko likely to inflict _actual_ harm.



I never thought much of my feedee fantasies other than it being just another of my many charming quirks that I kept to myself. After joining Dims, I quickly figured out the "kidnapping" part even as an abject fantasy was something of a no-no. I remember thinking even here there wouldn't be any one who would get it until I saw Russ' post. So... 

*exhales* 
Hi, I'm Raivenne. I have that being kidnapped/force-fed/weight-gain fantasy and in MY very over active imagination it's something cigarette worthy.


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## LoveBHMS (Jun 30, 2009)

There now...doesn't that seem like a better way to run an Erotic Weight Gain board?

It's clear there are many factions on Dims, one of which is fetishists and we have as much right to be here and be open and honest as anyone. While I can understand curiousity and desire to learn, I truly wish that non-fetishists would restrain themselves from participating except in the limitted number of situations where it might be appropriate.

It really has to do with common sense and common courtesy. There are any number of sexual fetishes whose expression can overlap with discomfort or unhappiness on the part of others, but that fact shouldn't negate a fetishist's sexuality or cause shame or unease with one's turn-ons.

If you're a heterosexual male, it's normal and reasonable to join a discussion board on Playboy's website to talk about how sexually exciting the female body is. OTOH, it's not appropriate to get on a message board devoted to Female to Male transgenders and say "Why would you not want to be female? It's so sexy."

Some people are aroused by golden showers and should be able to discuss that on a message board devoted to that fetish or buy magazines or websites depicting certain acts. They should not however get on WebMD and read discussions about medical conditions which cause incontinence and post about how sexy it is.

Some foot fetishists are turned on by "problem" feet, such as those with large bunions or corns; there is actually a youtube video with slides of pictures of women's feet where they have these issues and the video has a title along the lines of "Isn't this sexy?" If you have that particular fetish, you should be able to go to a venue like that and say "Yes, these photos really turn me on" and you should not feel guilty about it.

Now in all those situations, it would _also_ be innappropriate and disrespectful for the transgendered women to go to Playboy's site and post about how not all women like being women. It would be wrong for somebody suffering from a medical condition that causes incontinence to write angry letters to a magazine depicting golden showers and say "You're all really sick. You have no idea that for some of us, this makes our life hell"; and it would be rude for a person with crippling bunions to post on that youtube comments section "I suffer from this and it's not hot, I'm in pain every single waking moment and you're all terrible if this turns you on."

As far as Dims goes, FAs should not reply to posts where SS posters talk about reach and mobility issues and talk about how hot they are, and by the same token, SS people should stay the hell off the weight board and talk about how reach and mobility issues aren't hot.


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## exile in thighville (Jun 30, 2009)

i've said repeatedly that it's mostly the nonfetishists' inability to distinguish reality from fantasy rather than the fetishists' that creates the alarm...and that it's exasperating to cavil and sit each one down. people are so paranoid; kidnapping's too much work.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jun 30, 2009)

This picture seems very appropriate right now:

View attachment hardertokidnap.jpg


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## Russ2d (Jun 30, 2009)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> This picture seems very appropriate right now:
> 
> View attachment 66469




HAHA!  Perfect timing!


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jun 30, 2009)

Harder...but not impossible.  Just sayin.


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## KHayes666 (Jul 1, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> See? This is exactly why I hate sharing. I would throw my stuff out there and then the thread would be immediatley killed. For crying out loud, somebody SAY something so my post isn't just sitting there like a *Baby Ruth in a swimming pool*. Shees!



You mean this?







very poor caddying


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## lovesgaininggirls (Jul 1, 2009)

I think I understand exile's position, although I may be totally off-base. But to a certain extent, any attempt to "explain" the "feeding thing" comes out sounding like an apology for which one has to justify oneself. There are exercise nuts who are constantly jogging, lifting, pumping, sweating and they don't feel compelled to justify their behavior, why should a feeder/feedee feel the need to justify theirs. I hope I'm saying this with some semblance of correctness that reflects exile's point of view.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jul 1, 2009)

lovesgaininggirls said:


> I think I understand exile's position, although I may be totally off-base. But to a certain extent, any attempt to "explain" the "feeding thing" comes out sounding like an apology for which one has to justify oneself. There are exercise nuts who are constantly jogging, lifting, pumping, sweating and they don't feel compelled to justify their behavior, why should a feeder/feedee feel the need to justify theirs. I hope I'm saying this with some semblance of correctness that reflects exile's point of view.



Yes I agree with you about the "explaining" aspect. But I think this thread was started as more of a "share your experiences, fantasies, tricks, ideas, stories" kinda thing. 

That is why the point was made at the meeting and in this thread to leave all the bad crap at the door. Let us all presume that those who enter are interested because they are into it or want to be.

I guess like a bunch of peeps meeting at the park to go running, except not.


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 1, 2009)

lovesgaininggirls said:


> I think I understand exile's position, although I may be totally off-base. But to a certain extent, any attempt to "explain" the "feeding thing" comes out sounding like an apology for which one has to justify oneself. There are exercise nuts who are constantly jogging, lifting, pumping, sweating and they don't feel compelled to justify their behavior, why should a feeder/feedee feel the need to justify theirs. I hope I'm saying this with some semblance of correctness that reflects exile's point of view.



When exercise nuts are cited as being the shame of fit people all over the world and blamed for setting back the civil rights movement 20 years that example might be relevant. I'm not going to blame stigmatized people for wanting to stand up and say something on their behalf even though I personally don't feel the need to anymore. _ Anymore_ is the key word here. I've had my fill, you've had yours, they'll get theirs when they're good and ready and no sooner.


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## leener38 (Jul 3, 2009)

Russ2d said:


> I also have a force feeding fantasy where I role-play kidnapping a girl to fatten her up, which I believe is the biggest taboo of the whole feeding community so I'll save the details but I think it would be great fun



*raises hand*

That used to be a regular fantasy for me! I think it was because, until I found out I wasn't a crazy freak, it would be a way to gain sympathy rather than aversion. A crutch, an excuse if you will. "I was "kidnapped" by a big strong man, and he "forced" me to eat everything on the table! He "made" me wear clothes that were two sizes too small, and gave me a doughnut for every button I popped. When I gained the amount he wanted, he let me go!"

Then when I returned, people would feel sorry for me instead of judge me. LOL Whatever. That was then; this is now.

Does it count as kidnapping if you do it to yourself?


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## Ned Sonntag (Jul 3, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> i'll put it in _whatever end i want to _ guava or whatever your name is


 Best Thread Ever In The History for so many reasons.:eat2:


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## Duniwin (Jul 4, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> I'm not going to blame stigmatized people for wanting to stand up and say something on their behalf even though I personally don't feel the need to anymore. _ Anymore_ is the key word here. I've had my fill, you've had yours, they'll get theirs when they're good and ready and no sooner.



Exactly. We are all at different points on our journey:

BUILDING THE BRIDGE FOR HIM
by: W. A. Dromgoole

An old man, traveling a lone highway,
Came at the evening cold and gray.
To a chasm deep and wide.

The old man crossed in the twilight dim,
For the sullen stream held no fears for him,
But he turned when he reached to other side,
And builded a bridge to span the tide.

"Old man," cried a fellow pilgrim near,
"You are wasting your strength with building here;
Your journey will end with the ending day,
And you never again will pass this way.

"You have crossed the chasm deep and wide.
Why build you a bridge at eventide? "
And the builder raised his old gray head:
"Good friend, on the path I have come," he said,
"There followeth after me today
A youth whose feet will pass this way.

"This stream, which has been as naught to me,
To that fair-haired boy may a pitfall be;
He, too, must cross in the twilight dim...
Good friend, I am building this bridge for him."


If you've crossed the stream, and you've done it without the bridge, good for you.
Some of us want to build a bridge for those who are also coming this way.
You don't need to help, but you don't need to criticize either.


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## EtobicokeFA (Jul 5, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> When exercise nuts are cited as being the shame of fit people all over the world and blamed for setting back the civil rights movement 20 years that example might be relevant. I'm not going to blame stigmatized people for wanting to stand up and say something on their behalf even though I personally don't feel the need to anymore. _ Anymore_ is the key word here. I've had my fill, you've had yours, they'll get theirs when they're good and ready and no sooner.



Lilly unless you know something I don't, I seriously doubt that the feeder community is the primary reason for the any backward movement in the size acceptance movement. However, I have noticed that the movement has been struggling for too long to find a unifying message that incorporates the feeder community as well. 

The size acceptance movement should be group of inclusion not exclusion.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jul 5, 2009)

EtobicokeFA said:


> Lilly unless you know something I don't, I seriously doubt that the feeder community is the primary reason for the any backward movement in the size acceptance movement. However, I have noticed that the movement has been struggling for too long to find a unifying message that incorporates the feeder community as well.
> 
> The size acceptance movement should be group of inclusion not exclusion.


You misread her post. She did NOT say the feeder community is responsible for backward movement in size acceptance. She said it was BLAMED for that.


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## EtobicokeFA (Jul 5, 2009)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> You misread her post. She did NOT say the feeder community is responsible for backward movement in size acceptance. She said it was BLAMED for that.



I never calmed she said that, I was argeeing with her. I was just trying to delicately and in a politically correct way, try to hint a possible loaded question. But, I will just come out and say it! 

Naming, is this a simple case of the size acceptance movement not know what to do with the feeder community or is this (sorry to be so blunt) a case of being push under the bus, because someone thinks that it the only way for the size acceptance movement to get some positive mileage? 

Again, I hope it is the former, because I hope that the size acceptance movement still is a group of inclusion not exclusion.


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## Mack27 (Jul 6, 2009)

EtobicokeFA said:


> I never calmed she said that, I was argeeing with her. I was just trying to delicately and in a politically correct way, try to hint a possible loaded question. But, I will just come out and say it!
> 
> Naming, is this a simple case of the size acceptance movement not know what to do with the feeder community or is this (sorry to be so blunt) a case of being push under the bus, because someone thinks that it the only way for the size acceptance movement to get some positive mileage?
> 
> Again, I hope it is the former, because I hope that the size acceptance movement still is a group of inclusion not exclusion.



That sort of reminds me of 12 step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous where they get so into it they believe their way is the only way (almost cult-like,) when hello, other approaches work better for some people. 

I like making fat women fatter, in my head mostly. I can't help what I like, I don't hide it, I don't force anything on anybody (though I'd no doubt enjoy fulfilling some of these kidnapping/force-feeding fantasies I've been reading about, I wouldn't even charge) and I don't appreciate being demonized by some holier-than-thou-exclusionary-while-professing-to-be-accepting hypocrites.

The problem with most anti-feederism arguments is that they talk about acceptance, love and extremes.

"How can you say you accept somebody for who they are if you want them to be fatter?" I can't accept somebody as a feedee if that's what she wants? You can't accept me for who I am?

"True love is unconditional." Its a sexual thing wired into my head, love doesn't have anything to do with it. Love can develop and we can cross that bridge when we come to it. All those guys at the NAAFTA meetings who prefer larger women, that's not about love is it? Physical attraction comes first for a lot of men, love may come later.

"Feeders are sadistic control freaks who don't care about their submissive's health and well-being. They threaten to leave if the gaining stops and play cruel head-games." Why did you change the subject? I don't know who you're talking about but its not me or any self-proclaimed feeders I know. But hey if demonizing a group of people with a relatively harmless sexual quirk is what an acceptance movement does then please do count me out.

Many of us, maybe most of us have little control over our weights, I'm talking about the set-point theory. Medical conditions like thyroid problems, diabetes, insulin resistance etcetera aside, we can't lose weight below a certain point without practically killing ourselves and we can't gain weight above a certain point without really trying pretty freaking hard. In a way one of the reasons NAAFTA formed in the first place acts as a governor to limit intentional weight gain. I suppose that really doesn't mean anything, but I thought it was interesting.


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 6, 2009)

EtobicokeFA said:


> I never calmed she said that, I was argeeing with her. I was just trying to delicately and in a politically correct way, try to hint a possible loaded question. But, I will just come out and say it!
> 
> Naming, is this a simple case of the size acceptance movement not know what to do with the feeder community or is this (sorry to be so blunt) a case of being push under the bus, because someone thinks that it the only way for the size acceptance movement to get some positive mileage?
> 
> Again, I hope it is the former, because I hope that the size acceptance movement still is a group of inclusion not exclusion.




From NAAFAs pages:



> *NAAFA'S OFFICIAL POSITION:*
> NAAFA supports an individual's right to control all choices concerning his or her own body.
> NAAFA opposes the practice of feeders, in which one partner in a sexual relationship expects and encourages another partner to gain weight.
> 
> ...



From the International Size Acceptance Association (ISAA)



> What is Feederism? Simply put, feederism is the fetish-like act of encouraging someone to overeat in order to make them intentionally gain weight.
> 
> The International Size Acceptance Association (ISAA) does not support or encourage the practice of feederism because ISAA believes that this practice is inherently harmful and the antithesis of size acceptance. ISAA encourages size acceptance, which is respect for self and others, independent of weight, because ISAA believes that weight and size should not be a factor in how people are regarded or acknowledged. Feederism, in contrast, encourages and often results in increases in size and weight, often as a result of ingesting unhealthy foods in unhealthy quantities over an extended period of time.
> 
> ...


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## EtobicokeFA (Jul 6, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> From NAAFAs pages:
> *NAAFA'S OFFICIAL POSITION:*
> NAAFA supports an individual's right to control all choices concerning his or her own body.
> NAAFA opposes the practice of feeders, in which one partner in a sexual relationship expects and encourages another partner to gain weight.
> ...


 
Okay, however I noticed they define Feederism as a violation of one's control over one's body. 



LillyBBBW said:


> From the International Size Acceptance Association (ISAA)
> What is Feederism? Simply put, feederism is the fetish-like act of encouraging someone to overeat in order to make them intentionally gain weight.
> 
> The International Size Acceptance Association (ISAA) does not support or encourage the practice of feederism because ISAA believes that this practice is inherently harmful and the antithesis of size acceptance. ISAA encourages size acceptance, which is respect for self and others, independent of weight, because ISAA believes that weight and size should not be a factor in how people are regarded or acknowledged. Feederism, in contrast, encourages and often results in increases in size and weight, often as a result of ingesting unhealthy foods in unhealthy quantities over an extended period of time.
> ...



Once again isn't this a old inaccurate definition?


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## Russ2d (Jul 6, 2009)

NAAFA and this so-called international group sound quite co-opt by some less than balanced individuals.

I love it when a group talks about consenting adults in one breath and then lays down the "rules" for acceptable behavior in the next.

This ISAA is particularly laughable-


> inherently harmful and the antithesis of size acceptance





> causing incredible harm


 and my favorite


> ISAA also has a responsibility to the public



Yeahhhh, right.


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 6, 2009)

EtobicokeFA said:


> Okay, however I noticed they define Feederism as a violation of one's control over one's body.
> 
> 
> 
> Once again isn't this a old inaccurate definition?



The way feederism is defined is arguable to say the least. The content I found was old and maybe even outdated. There were no current positions listed on their websites though, only cached statements that may or may not apply now. The policy may have changed but so far this is the most recent information I could find.

I don't think we are going to find any obvious answers here and I think the ommission is deliberate. Why on earth would the SA movement want to deliberately alienate anyone? Their supporters are a mixed bag. You can't make a statement one way or the other without losing a large portion of your member base. It's a subject they are going to soft shoe around for as long as they can. The statement about weight loss has also been taken down from what I can see. Maybe... just maybe SA is coming to grips with the concept that the call for common dignity, fairness and respect are not connected at all to these issues and an official stance on either is not necessary? I don't know but one can only hope.


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## Russ2d (Jul 6, 2009)

Not a chance... from a behind the scenes talk of persons previously involved in NAAFA and the fact that a certain prominent someone was unable to attend the feeder/feedee workshop because of potential flack with other insiders -we know what the general policies are.


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## Weeze (Jul 6, 2009)

Yeah. 
Um.
I finally got the guts to add to this thread and saw this page.
Nope. My ass is going right back in the feedee closet.

Ninja out.


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## OneWickedAngel (Jul 6, 2009)

^^^^ Points to Kris' post.

And that is why THIS thread is so important. Because the Feeder/Feedee shouldn't feel they HAVE to be closeted (or ninja-ed) even within our own "community".


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 6, 2009)

You know me, deliverer of liberty and good cheer wherever I go. Closet doors slam in my face as I pass. :/


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## Russ2d (Jul 6, 2009)

krismiss said:


> Yeah.
> Um.
> I finally got the guts to add to this thread and saw this page.
> Nope. My ass is going right back in the feedee closet.
> ...




I for one would like to hear what you have to say. This is a feeder/feedee friendly place- and eventually we will break down the negativity in our own ranks... the fact that we even had a feeder/feedee workshop was a great start


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## Ned Sonntag (Jul 7, 2009)

The wheels came off NAAFA back in the summer of '95. Just to let the younger people know... There were a brief shining few years when everybody was kind of on the same page... the radical feminists and the lounge lizards at least knew what to expect from each other and a cozy truce prevailed. DIMz took up the slack when that imploded. How'd NAAFA come into this anyway? Well, I couldn't attend- so what do I know? This has been a groundbreaking thread, though...


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 7, 2009)

Folks like NAAFA and ISAA and whoever else wants to grand stand about the evils of people with alternative opinions don't scare me at all. I've spent my entire life staring down people uglier than they are. Their ignorance is disappointing but has nothing at all to do with reality. At least my reality. I don't have enough of a respect of persons to cower about before them though I can acknowledge the fundamentally good things they've contributed. It doesn't mean I'll be their whipping girl though. I'll tell them like I tell all the rest: you don't speak for me. 

Dammit I've wanted a T shirt with that slogan on it for the longest time and still haven't got one.


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## Weeze (Jul 7, 2009)

I guess I just have a hard time articulating what gets me off to begin with, let alone fear of people who are otherwise my friends on here judging it. I know this is a "judgement free" thread, but, ANYONE can read it, that just means they can't post anti-feeder things. 

... what the hell.

I'm a feedee. Like Ivy and Lilly, I like the idea of growing bigger and my partner telling me how much bigger i've become/am going to be. I've had the dreaded "immobile *fantasies*", and yes. i am completely aware that it is not feasible for reality. Thank you, Captain Obvious. I'm pretty submissive. I like the idea of laying back and someone else feeding *me* by hand. That's um. pretty fun to think about. haha. 

I mean... we all have our moods. occasionally I like to be domm-ish and if i come across a guy that wants to be the feedee on occasion, i'll do it, but it's rare  Girls. Hah. Girls are complicated. I could go either way with other girls, but, my main thing when it comes to females is actually *mutual gaining*.. I mean, AGAIN in fantasy, I think like... two ginormous women is probably one of the hottest things ever. I like my menz to be smaller than me, however, not really *skinny*... just... smaller than me 

I like what I like, and um I can't really help it. I'm not sure I'd want to even if i could.


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## Tad (Jul 7, 2009)

krismiss said:


> I like what I like, and um I can't really help it. I'm not sure I'd want to even if i could.



That ^^^^^^

Can't rep you at the moment, so just quoting for emphasis and a 'hell yah, exactly!' Really, that is the bottom line, no matter what we like, isn't it? 

PS. About the rest of the post, I doubt much of that is a surprise to anyone whose seen you around the boards for a while. I can't imagine anyone getting too strange about it (at least I'd hope not!)


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Jul 7, 2009)

krismiss said:


> I'm pretty submissive. I like the idea of laying back and someone else feeding *me* by hand.



You know, I don't understand why the idea of lounging around and being hand-fed by somebody is associated with sexual submission. Doesn't sitting on one's fat ass and being waited on and pampered have more dominant overtones than submissive ones, if it has any inherent dom-sub connection at all?


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## OneWickedAngel (Jul 7, 2009)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> You know, I don't understand why the idea of lounging around and being hand-fed by somebody is associated with sexual submission. Doesn't sitting on one's fat ass and being waited on and pampered have more dominant overtones than submissive ones, if it has any inherent dom-sub connection at all?



Like pretty much every thing else in life, there are different levels and mind sets:

1) There is no D/s connection. There is no sex connection. Simply a Feeder and a Feedee. This is presuming the couple is even cognizant that these are their respective roles. 

2) The Feedee who directly orders (or sweetly suggests) the Feeder procure items in which to eat and/or be fed; which would be more of the Dominant mindset to which I think you refer.

3) The Feeder who brings items to the Feedee and sweetly suggests (or directly orders) the Feedee to eat and/or feeds directly. I believe this is more of what Kris is saying is her preference with an occasional dose of the second scenario thrown is as a change of pace.n (correct me if I'm wrong Kris.)

I concede to a great use of generalizations here. Any of the above can /would be modified to the respective couples' desires.


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## Ash (Jul 7, 2009)

OneWickedAngel said:


> Like pretty much every thing else in life, there are different levels and mind sets:
> 
> 1) There is no D/s connection. There is no sex connection. Simply a Feeder and a Feedee. This is presuming the couple is even cognizant that these are their respective roles.
> 
> ...



I choose door number 2. Please and thank you.

(But 3 is good sometimes, too.) And I'm done.


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## Weeze (Jul 7, 2009)

Yeah, I um, actually didn't mean to have it associated with being submissive. Now that I think about it, I um, don't think hand-feeding, for me anyway, has anything to do with being dominant/submissive.

Sorry for the confusion.


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## Weeze (Jul 8, 2009)

Gooooooooo Kristen. Way to kill a thread, YEAH!


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## Wagimawr (Jul 8, 2009)

You just overwhelmed it with your sheer awesomeness, no worries.


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## msbard90 (Jul 8, 2009)

I know and realize the "harm" of feederism, but there is just something so completely irresistible about being fed. For me, feederism is something completely sexual; it has nothing to do with wanting to be unhealthy or anything of that nature. I suppose I am a more laid back feedee in a sense- I'm not looking for a feeder, and it is a complete turn off to have people asking about my weight gain. I usually reply, "whatever happens, happens". On a positive note, when my partner feeds me, it is definitely a sexual turn on. Hey, whatever works to keep the sparks flying, you know? IMO, there is most definitely nothing wrong with feederism when appropriate. The unattractive thing with the whole feeder/feedee thing is the feeder part (once again IMO, of course). I don't want to be hounded about how many donuts I eat, or how many calories I consume. Basically to sum things up for me, I enjoy feederism to the extent of my partner feeding me. We don't worry about the calories or what kind of food it is for that matter. Hell, feed me strawberries, feed me effin broccoli for all I care. Its not about the gain for me. Its about the sexual feelings (I guess submissive nature) of being fed. I just like it.


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## msbard90 (Jul 8, 2009)

krismiss said:


> I'm a feedee. Like Ivy and Lilly, I like the idea of growing bigger and my partner telling me how much bigger i've become/am going to be. I've had the dreaded "immobile *fantasies*", and yes. i am completely aware that it is not feasible for reality. Thank you, Captain Obvious. I'm pretty submissive. I like the idea of laying back and someone else feeding *me* by hand. That's um. pretty fun to think about. haha.
> 
> 
> I like what I like, and um I can't really help it. I'm not sure I'd want to even if i could.



I am realizing this may be inappropriate, but immobile fantasies help me get to that special place if you know what I mean


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## nikola090 (Jul 8, 2009)

I never had experience on real life about feederism and think also that a woman can like it only as 'submissive play' or 'freedom' on eating. But when the boy is too much pressing with questions and hard lifestyle, the thing doesn't like to the woman and isn't good for the couple.


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## Russ2d (Jul 8, 2009)

msbard90 said:


> I am realizing this may be inappropriate, but immobile fantasies help me get to that special place if you know what I mean



It's not inappropriate, why are you saying this here?




> I know and realize the "harm" of feederism,


 :doh:


Despite your quotation marks this statement should not be here on this thread - yes I read your whole post and some of it is pretty negative. There are so many other places to go to air issues- the purpose of this thread is to be a safe *positive* place for feeders and feedees


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 8, 2009)

msbard90 said:


> I know and realize the "harm" of feederism, but there is just something so completely irresistible about being fed. For me, feederism is something completely sexual; it has nothing to do with wanting to be unhealthy or anything of that nature. I suppose I am a more laid back feedee in a sense- I'm not looking for a feeder, and it is a complete turn off to have people asking about my weight gain. I usually reply, "whatever happens, happens". On a positive note, when my partner feeds me, it is definitely a sexual turn on. Hey, whatever works to keep the sparks flying, you know? IMO, there is most definitely nothing wrong with feederism when appropriate. The unattractive thing with the whole feeder/feedee thing is the feeder part (once again IMO, of course). I don't want to be hounded about how many donuts I eat, or how many calories I consume. Basically to sum things up for me, I enjoy feederism to the extent of my partner feeding me. We don't worry about the calories or what kind of food it is for that matter. Hell, feed me strawberries, feed me effin broccoli for all I care. Its not about the gain for me. Its about the sexual feelings (I guess submissive nature) of being fed. I just like it.





nikola090 said:


> I never had experience on real life about feederism and think also that a woman can like it only as 'submissive play' or 'freedom' on eating. But when the boy is too much pressing with questions and hard lifestyle, the thing doesn't like to the woman and isn't good for the couple.



I agree. During my online chatting days I would often be peppered with questions by guys about it. It's about as annoying as being pestered about.... well, anything. lol There's a point where it becomes too much.


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## Russ2d (Jul 8, 2009)

> The unattractive thing with the whole feeder/feedee thing is the feeder part





> I don't want to be hounded about how many donuts I eat, or how many calories I consume





LillyBBBW said:


> I agree. During my online chatting days I would often be peppered with questions by guys about it. It's about as annoying as being pestered about.... well, anything. lol There's a point where it becomes too much.



Come on Lilly, you honestly think this is not the start to derailing the thread... for me it's here we go again, let's talk about those annoying men/feeders

Been there done that to DEATH on so many other threads... I am so sick of it -this is suppose to be a safe place for feeders too thank you


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 8, 2009)

Russ2d said:


> Come on Lilly, you honestly think this is not the start to derailing the thread... for me it's here we go again, let's talk about those annoying men/feeders
> 
> Been there done that to DEATH on so many other threads... I am so sick of it -this is suppose to be a safe place for feeders too thank you



I honestly just saw it as her saying that hashing the details doesn't appeal to her. Just another aspect of what appeals to one person but probably won't to another. I didn't catch the "Eew, yucki fedderz!" vibe but I suppose it can be easily interpreted that way by some.


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## Rowan (Jul 8, 2009)

So, to try to get this back on track here....

It has been no secret that I have never understood the feeder/feedee thing and have never taken much of an in interest in it. This being said, my new boyfriend is into the feeding thing and so of course I am now faced with the reality of such a thing. I will say that he fed me (first time for this to have happened with me) and it was one of the most erotic things that Ive done with a significant other and so I can definitely now see the appeal of it. Granted it will never be something that i will do to be a gainer and such, but the idea of it being erotic and something that will bring us closer together definitely has merit. 

There are some people who would have an issue with a feeder and a wls person getting together and I would hope that they could see past the labels and just be happy for the both of us that we found that right person who things just click with. 

I just wanted to say that after meeting him, I definitely can see the pluses of the feeder/feedee relationship that i would not have been able to understand before. So yeah...just wanted to give my two cents.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jul 8, 2009)

Russ2d said:


> Come on Lilly, you honestly think this is not the start to derailing the thread... for me it's here we go again, let's talk about those annoying men/feeders
> 
> Been there done that to DEATH on so many other threads... I am so sick of it -this is suppose to be a safe place for feeders too thank you





LillyBBBW said:


> I honestly just saw it as her saying that hashing the details doesn't appeal to her. Just another aspect of what appeals to one person but probably won't to another. I didn't catch the "Eew, yucki fedderz!" vibe but I suppose it can be easily interpreted that way by some.



I have to say that I too saw this as a possible derailment. Not all feeders are going to want to know how many donuts you ate, and those that do are going to ask the person that they have a relationship with that accepts and possibly even requests or enjoys the asking.

Not all feeders are the same. Not all feeders are bad*. Sometimes the attraction to a person opens us up to what makes them tick and we take the time to understand it and play along because either a) we really like it too or b) we want to please them (which has it owns rewards in many ways, including being pleased back).

If we all keep an open mind that what might be yuck to one is yum to another, this could be quite interesting. 

I personally choose to keep an open mind because I enjoy learning about new aspects of people and that in turn leads me to sometimes learn new things about myself or my partner thru discussion about the subject.

*I know of NO bad feeders.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jul 8, 2009)

Rowan said:


> So, to try to get this back on track here....
> 
> It has been no secret that I have never understood the feeder/feedee thing and have never taken much of an in interest in it. This being said, my new boyfriend is into the feeding thing and so of course I am now faced with the reality of such a thing. I will say that he fed me (first time for this to have happened with me) and it was one of the most erotic things that Ive done with a significant other and so I can definitely now see the appeal of it. Granted it will never be something that i will do to be a gainer and such, but the idea of it being erotic and something that will bring us closer together definitely has merit.
> 
> ...



I think what you are also going to find is that not all feeder/feedee relationships are about the gaining, not all are about the actual act of feeding the person and that just being open to this new idea can bring you much pleasure and joy.

As far as a WLS being with a feeder, if you are both enjoying each other's company and both know what you like, I see no problem. It might be that he brings you a healthy protein shake and that makes him happy. 

It isn't always about stuffing the donuts. Although sometimes, it is, and that is ok too.


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## Rowan (Jul 8, 2009)

D_A_Bunny said:


> I think what you are also going to find is that not all feeder/feedee relationships are about the gaining, not all are about the actual act of feeding the person and that just being open to this new idea can bring you much pleasure and joy.
> 
> As far as a WLS being with a feeder, if you are both enjoying each other's company and both know what you like, I see no problem. It might be that he brings you a healthy protein shake and that makes him happy.
> 
> It isn't always about stuffing the donuts. Although sometimes, it is, and that is ok too.



I agree..i just know that there have been a few people who have talked to him about their "concerns" about him being with me..and i really dont see how its any of their business if he and i are happy. *shrug*


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 8, 2009)

I just don't see the point in getting angry with someone who is genuinely trying to feel their way around but may have some of the terms or concepts wrong. Why not just say, "Excuse me but you should know that not all people experience things that way," etc. etc.? I don't think Msbard came here with the intent to derail the thread or put all feeders down. She's not been here long enough to have any clue about all the mess that happened here previously. Her post was just ill worded from what I can see. I hope this isn't becoming a thread where you can't define what you are in to without being boooed off the stage for liking *this* or not liking *that*. I'm not trying to pick a fight, just wanted to put it out there.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jul 8, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> I just don't see the point in getting angry with someone who is genuinely trying to feel their way around but may have some of the terms or concepts wrong. Why not just say, "Excuse me but you should know that not all people experience things that way," etc. etc.? I don't think Msbard came here with the intent to derail the thread or put all feeders down. She's not been here long enough to have any clue about all the mess that happened here previously. Her post was just ill worded from what I can see. I hope this isn't becoming a thread where you can't define what you are in to without being boooed off the stage for liking *this* or not liking *that*. I'm not trying to pick a fight, just wanted to put it out there.



I know that I was not picking a fight with anyone and I don't feel that you are picking one either. I can only speak for myself with this response. The reason that I felt a bit of derailment coming was not solely from MsBard's comments because I think they did come from a place of not knowing. I think it is more that it seemed that you were agreeing with her in a way that might be taken as you feel that what was said is what MOSTLY happens. 

You and I have had private conversations about this subject and I think we both know where we at least stand on some of this subject. Please know Lilly that I am in no way stating that you or anyone is not allowed to state whatever they want.

I did also see what Russ was saying that he felt and wanted to make an observation that I also thought that might be the case but until he wrote it, thought that maybe I was the only one who felt that way.

Perhaps as a member of the panel, I was hoping that if someone did come into this thread with thoughts that were not necessarily true to everyone, that it could be gently pointed out to them. 

I think it sounds like I am saying agree or get out, but I am not. I am saying let's stand together and point out the good parts and let the negative fall away if it is a misconception or minor annoyance.

Maybe more people will realize that they indeed belong to this group and that the bell curve exists here as it does everywhere.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jul 8, 2009)

Rowan said:


> I agree..i just know that there have been a few people who have talked to him about their "concerns" about him being with me..and i really dont see how its any of their business if he and i are happy. *shrug*



Personally, I think it is NOONE's business but yours and his. Unless this guy has walked around telling anyone who will listen, that his life goal and the only thing that will make him happy, is to fatten up a girl to ad infinitum, then those people just don't get it.

Why can't a couple who are attracted to each other, explore their likes together in a safe and mutually respectful way? There is no answer to that, because they CAN.


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 8, 2009)

D_A_Bunny said:


> I know that I was not picking a fight with anyone and I don't feel that you are picking one either. I can only speak for myself with this response. The reason that I felt a bit of derailment coming was not solely from MsBard's comments because I think they did come from a place of not knowing. I think it is more that it seemed that you were agreeing with her in a way that might be taken as you feel that what was said is what MOSTLY happens.
> 
> You and I have had private conversations about this subject and I think we both know where we at least stand on some of this subject. Please know Lilly that I am in no way stating that you or anyone is not allowed to state whatever they want.
> 
> ...



It was something I totally hadn't picked up on. I assumed that after reading the things posted in this thread so far that one would be clear on the concept that not all feeders behave "thusly" or whatever the assumption is. At this point we still don't know if that is what msbard meant. It did make me recall my own feelings in the beginning. My first contact with feeders was online through chat and IMs. Having that as my only exposure (besides the one encounter beforehand) it kind of made me think that's was all feeders do too because it was the sum of all my interactions with them at the time. Clearly via this thread we can see that this is not true but I didn't want to invalidate the OPs feelings because I at one time felt them myself. Hopefully at some point she can come along to clarify, but from her post I gathered she was only referring to her own negative experiences only and not feeders as a whole. But of course I could be wrong.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jul 8, 2009)

Lilly, I hear you honey. It is funny how people see and read and react to things in their own way. It is all good. 

But now I want some damn donuts since there has been so much discussion of them.

OH Feeder boy!! Where are you? I think I need to go and score myself some donuts. or something.


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 8, 2009)

D_A_Bunny said:


> Lilly, I hear you honey. It is funny how people see and read and react to things in their own way. It is all good.
> 
> But now I want some damn donuts since there has been so much discussion of them.
> 
> OH Feeder boy!! Where are you? I think I need to go and score myself some donuts. or something.



I just ate two linzer tarts for dinner thanks to the donut references.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jul 8, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> I just ate two linzer tarts for dinner thanks to the donut references.



I am seriously wanting some damn donuts. I won't even eat my normal dinner right now because all I can think of is donuts. 

I was just thinking that the only possible facsimile that I have in the house is if I - wait, as I am typing this, Larry just grabbed his car keys and left the house in search of donuts at the local deli. I am totally not kidding.

I said "Wait, what are you doing? Where are you going?" His reply "I am going to get some donuts for you, that is all you have been talking about since I got home from work."

Now this is what I like about having a feeder in the house.:wubu::eat2::bow:


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## Weeze (Jul 8, 2009)

D_A_Bunny said:


> I am seriously wanting some damn donuts. I won't even eat my normal dinner right now because all I can think of is donuts.
> 
> I was just thinking that the only possible facsimile that I have in the house is if I - wait, as I am typing this, Larry just grabbed his car keys and left the house in search of donuts at the local deli. I am totally not kidding.
> 
> ...



Now that's a man right there. :wubu:


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## Rowan (Jul 8, 2009)

D_A_Bunny said:


> I am seriously wanting some damn donuts. I won't even eat my normal dinner right now because all I can think of is donuts.
> 
> I was just thinking that the only possible facsimile that I have in the house is if I - wait, as I am typing this, Larry just grabbed his car keys and left the house in search of donuts at the local deli. I am totally not kidding.
> 
> ...



awww..that is so sweet!


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## msbard90 (Jul 8, 2009)

Russ2d said:


> It's not inappropriate, why are you saying this here?
> 
> 
> :doh:
> ...



it was a safe and positive post in my personal opinion. I enjoy being fed. And I have no problem with feeders. I just have my own personal preferences. I apologize if sharing my preferences rubbed off a negative connotation. Totally wasn't meant to be derrogatory.


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## msbard90 (Jul 8, 2009)

D_A_Bunny said:


> I think what you are also going to find is that not all feeder/feedee relationships are about the gaining, not all are about the actual act of feeding the person and that just being open to this new idea can bring you much pleasure and joy.
> 
> As far as a WLS being with a feeder, if you are both enjoying each other's company and both know what you like, I see no problem. It might be that he brings you a healthy protein shake and that makes him happy.
> 
> It isn't always about stuffing the donuts. Although sometimes, it is, and that is ok too.



Mad kudos! The act of feeding eachother is a rather sensual experience. Not bagging on those who desire the weight gain aspect- but as D A Bunny suggests, not all feeder/feedee relationships are about the gaining. I consider my partner a feeder, and I his feedee. But for us, it's not about me gaining excessively. (Although sometimes I'd like to be a feeder like that for someone else  )


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## Weeze (Jul 9, 2009)

D_A_Bunny said:


> Personally, I think it is NOONE's business but yours and his. Unless this guy has walked around telling anyone who will listen, that his life goal and the only thing that will make him happy, is to fatten up a girl to ad infinitum, then those people just don't get it.
> 
> Why can't a couple who are attracted to each other, explore their likes together in a safe and mutually respectful way? There is no answer to that, because they CAN.



I think we (as in like. humans in general) keep having this argument, and not just over feeding. What I do in the privacy of my bedroom is no one's business except mine. What I do with my body is no one's business except mine. And, because apparently it needs to be reiterated, the clothing I put on my body, no matter how tight it is, is on MY body. Not yours. Why can't people just keep to themselves?


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## Russ2d (Jul 9, 2009)

> it was a safe and positive post in my personal opinion.



Really? When the first part of your first sentence is


> I know and realize the "harm" of feederism


 yeah I'm going to react negatively, especially on this thread on this board. 

I'm not drumming this up again, it's over, but because I was quoted I responded


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## Weeze (Jul 9, 2009)

msbard90 said:


> I am realizing this may be inappropriate, but immobile fantasies help me get to that special place if you know what I mean



Oh, I do :wubu:

wow. did i actually just say that?


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## Russ2d (Jul 9, 2009)

krismiss said:


> I think we (as in like. humans in general) keep having this argument, and not just over feeding. What I do in the privacy of my bedroom is no one's business except mine. What I do with my body is no one's business except mine. And, because apparently it needs to be reiterated, the clothing I put on my body, no matter how tight it is, is on MY body. Not yours. Why can't people just keep to themselves?



Because some people (too many) are busy-body control freaks who think if they don't like something or are offended by some act no one should be allowed to engage in it.


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## Weeze (Jul 9, 2009)

Russ2d said:


> Because some people (too many) are busy-body control freaks who think if they don't like something or are offended by some act no one should be allowed to engage in it.



My clit-or-is is none of yo' bus-i-ness. that's not directed at russ, btw. it's more agreeing with him.


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## thatgirl08 (Jul 9, 2009)

To be completely honest, the only reason I am on this board is because of feederism. I found Dims through another feederism site and spent the first year here lurking the story board. 

The weird thing is that after I became a member of the community, very few realized I was a feedee because I rarely post about it because it feels.. taboo. Most of the well known members don't post about it, even if I know they are into it. Sadly, a large portion of the weight board posters are people who only post there and the paysite board. I really wish there were more well known people willing to have an open, honest and frank discussion regarding feederism. *sigh*

Mostly, I wish I could hear from other girls. Through PMs and AIM and whatever, I've had the chance to talk to quite a few feeders, some of whom gave me some really great insight on how to actually incorporate it into real life and their perspectives regarding health and mobility consequences and all that other stuff. I'd love the chance to talk to more feeders but mostly, I'd love to hear from other feedees, particularly girls if possible.


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## Russ2d (Jul 9, 2009)

D_A_Bunny said:


> I am seriously wanting some damn donuts. I won't even eat my normal dinner right now because all I can think of is donuts.
> 
> I was just thinking that the only possible facsimile that I have in the house is if I - wait, as I am typing this, Larry just grabbed his car keys and left the house in search of donuts at the local deli. I am totally not kidding.
> 
> ...



Larry's a good man


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## Weeze (Jul 9, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> Mostly, I wish I could hear from other girls. Through PMs and AIM and whatever, I've had the chance to talk to quite a few feeders, some of whom gave me some really great insight on how to actually incorporate it into real life and their perspectives regarding health and mobility consequences and all that other stuff. I'd love the chance to talk to more feeders but mostly, I'd love to hear from other feedees, particularly girls if possible.



I agree with the whole post but THIS is totally... Yes.
I keep wanting to say this but forgetting. YES. YES. YES.
I want to talk to other, normal, coherent girls about it... it makes me feel less... weird.


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## thatgirl08 (Jul 9, 2009)

krismiss said:


> I agree with the whole post but THIS is totally... Yes.
> I keep wanting to say this but forgetting. YES. YES. YES.
> I want to talk to other, normal, coherent girls about it... it makes me feel less... weird.



Yeah exactly.. talking to other girls would help.. normalize it a bit I think.


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 9, 2009)

It is normal.

Pretty much everyone who engages in those activities realized from a very early age that it was a turn-on. You can see a huge number of commonalities of experience, ranging from looking up the word "fat" in the dictionary to reactions to "Charlie and The Chocolate Factory" to simple and vague recognition of a fascination with fat people.

And it shouldn't feel taboo because women are sexual beings just like men and they have their kinks and fetishes and preferences and whatever just as men do. 

I also find that a lot of the taboo nature comes from negative attitudes that are espoused by fat women who are not feedee/gainers. There is a lot of promotion of the conventional wisdom of feederism being "Male Feeder manipulates female into gaining weight and becoming immobile and then leaves her." I'm sure this does happen, but I doubt it happens as often as some people want to think. That idea angers me the most because it doesn't allow for the notion that some women are gainers/feedees and they want to be in that situation every bit as much as some men want to have them there. The notion that feederism is rife with lies and manipulation is nonsense because not all women have to be lied to or manipulated in order to get into a feeding situation because some of them want to do it.

Also with the gender thing, there are also female feeders and male feedees.


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## stan_der_man (Jul 9, 2009)

I've been meaning to post here in this thread for a while but I've only now had the chance to sit down and put together something that I've been wanting to say... I've gone on many a rant towards "feeders" and "fetishists" but I have never really articulated myself very well and I probably come across as being anti-feeder, or anti-fetish, or whatever. Trust me, I'm really not attempting to be judgmental here. The reason I'm posting this now is that earlier, before the Dims Bash, I received a very nice letter from Heather, with whom I've disagreed on things in the past, in principal but not necessarily in substance. She invited me to attend this (The Feeder / Feedee) and other Dims Bash seminars, I was very flattered and would have very much enjoyed doing so, but finances and prior plans kept me from doing so.

Firstly, I think the format of these seminars is a good idea to better articulate issues and subjects that feeders and feedees might be interested in and discuss. Considering that this is Dimensions, the subject of feeding and feederism is a certainly a topic worthy of discussion that has been long misunderstood, or interrupted on a regular basis by nay-sayers. But taking from concerns that Exile in Thighville and Lilly posted earlier (please correct me if I'm misunderstanding you two...) I believe it's important not to always base these discussions on the presumption that "feeding" (however it manifests itself) is a "fetish", or to position these conversations in such a way that this is some sort of "fetish" think-tank per se. It's hard to articulate, but this is what is always my point of contention regarding the "fetishization" of "feederism"... and often times by association, the "fetishization" of fat. Being "fetish" is sort of like being a "biker". I think it's best for other people to recognize one as being a biker than it is for one to declare themselves a biker. If you are really a biker than people will know it, and you won't give a rats ass what people think of it. If you are fetish than people will know it, and you won't give a rats ass what people think of it. You don't have to run around declaring it... I can see why people who consider their tastes, or desires to be on the edge (aka fetish) chafe at the whole notion of an organized discussion of something they are into. Talking about how to do "feederism fetish style" is sort of like starting a thread on the proper method for a biker to conduct a bar room brawl. Seeking compassion and understanding towards your "fetish" is sort of like starting a support group for bikers with beer intolerance.... you'll be hard pressed to find much sympathy. I think this is why I chafe at the whole assumption of what I perceive to be feederism always being associated with fetish. Possibly this is the feeling of others. At the same time though, the "feeder genie" is out of the bottle, feederism is hardly a secret known only by a select few... it is natural that the subject will come out in the open and be openly discussed.

The second thing that I think is very important for this group to recognize is that when you really come down to it, the label "feeder" or "feedee" are very inexact terms and personally, this is where I feel the misunderstanding towards this interest of purposeful weight gain usually rests. Purposeful weight gain in western society, other than modern-day muscle body building is uncharted territory. Ironically, it is only recently (historically speaking...within the last 70 years?) that body builders and athletes have so little body fat and unnaturally large muscles. If you look at turn-of-the-century (1800-1900s) weight lifters and athletes, they would be considered "obese" by todays standards... Babe Ruth the baseball player for example... As with any area of uncharted territory, you need to map out what you wish to explore before you attempt to visit specific hills, valleys, forests and deserts and begin to make sense of what you discover. Posts like what Ivy and others wrote are very important things in discovering specific details of the preference of exploring weight gain and (for lack of a better term...) "food play", or "food sex" but these bits and pieces by themselves will only turn out to be random "how to" and tidbits of specific information. They won't necessarily lead to a greater understanding of purposeful weight gain in the long run without a general map as an overview. If I may make a suggestion, I would recommend attempting to "map out" different forms of weight gain first, develop more exact terminology and then encourage people to talk about how they feel or relate to these specific forms of weight gain.

Pardon this crude attempt at making up definitions but this is what I'm trying to convey...

Perhaps first defining different types of weight gain... "happenstance weight gain" (involuntary natural weight gain...) and purposeful weight gain... Also, I don't think all forms of purposeful weight gain are correctly defined as "feederism", which suggests aggressive feeding (dominant feeder, submissive feedee) Past issues of Dimensions have mentioned the purposeful gaining of fat as being a form of "body building"... There is plenty of uncharted territory that could be explored from gaining weight from this aspect. Also I think the subject of eating could be broken down into different aspects also... "sensual eating", "recreational eating" or whatever, not just always the usual "dominant feeding" and "submissive eating" we always hear about in these conversations. (again.. pardon my making up all these terms... these are the closest terms I can think of to articulate this...)

Maybe breaking things down like this will "ruin the eroticism of feederism" but I think there is so much here that isn't being explored and quite frankly this whole subject of "feederism" has languished for so many years and will probably continue to languish until these kinds of things are recognized and better defined. Perhaps the further dissecting of this subject might even open up the conversation amongst the more "vanilla" types and the "fetishists" out there? Who knows... Just an idea...

Anyway.. By now you (and I...) are all blurry eyed and wondering why the hell am I writing all this... As a male heterosexual FA, I am attracted to fat women. Personally, my sexual attraction to fat women isn't focused on the whole weight gain aspect, but I would be lying to you if I said that I didn't find weight gain to be sexually arousing to some extent. I think I can safely say that about many other FAs are like myself. The divide between the camps of fat (size) acceptance over "feederism" in my opinion is one of the most sadly ridiculous things keeping fat (size) acceptance from unifying into a cohesive force against fat discrimination. Maybe with a little bit more understanding from the "anti-feeder" camp and a little bit more savvy on the part of "feeders" in articulating their preference these two camps can come to a better understanding of each other at some point in time... I know... I'm dreamin'...  Anyway... that's my 2¢... and some "food for thought" for the feeders...


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 9, 2009)

D_A_Bunny said:


> I am seriously wanting some damn donuts. I won't even eat my normal dinner right now because all I can think of is donuts.
> 
> I was just thinking that the only possible facsimile that I have in the house is if I - wait, as I am typing this, Larry just grabbed his car keys and left the house in search of donuts at the local deli. I am totally not kidding.
> 
> ...



Showoff! *grumbles* I saw those linzer tarts in the convenince store on my way home. They were HUGE! I bought two just in case I liked it and wanted another. They were so good I wished I bought three. I'm going back there after work to see if they still have them.


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 9, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> To be completely honest, the only reason I am on this board is because of feederism. I found Dims through another feederism site and spent the first year here lurking the story board.
> 
> The weird thing is that after I became a member of the community, very few realized I was a feedee because I rarely post about it because it feels.. taboo. Most of the well known members don't post about it, even if I know they are into it. Sadly, a large portion of the weight board posters are people who only post there and the paysite board. I really wish there were more well known people willing to have an open, honest and frank discussion regarding feederism. *sigh*
> 
> Mostly, I wish I could hear from other girls. Through PMs and AIM and whatever, I've had the chance to talk to quite a few feeders, some of whom gave me some really great insight on how to actually incorporate it into real life and their perspectives regarding health and mobility consequences and all that other stuff. I'd love the chance to talk to more feeders but mostly, I'd love to hear from other feedees, particularly girls if possible.



Yes, I agree. I'm usually a very private person. I'm okay with talking about sex but I'm not one to put my sexual psyche out there on front street. I've done it a few times here though mostly because I do feel rather isolated and alienated even within the feeder community. After lurking so long myself it seemed that I didn't have so much in common with many of the feedees who were very out and loud. My desires seemed pretty vanilla in comparison and it all seemed overwhelming and surreal to me. I guess I just put myself out there because I wanted to see if I was the only one who experienced things this way. For me it was a giant leap of faith that I can't possibly be the only one. It also helps when it's someone you sorta 'know' in a sense already. I've heard feeders bitterly complain about fakes and poseurs online. It helps being in a small community like this where it's people you know. 

And just to be clear, these desires can be a part of just about ANYBODY. They are not more likely to happen to fat people, tall people, men or whatever other inane belief exists out there. There are probably more insane people who are in to straight missionary sex ratio wize that anything else but that doesn't mean there's something inherrently wrong with missionary sex or the people who enjoy it. I wish we could somehow disconnect preconceived notions about people and their motives from the sexuality equasion entirely.


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## msbard90 (Jul 9, 2009)

Russ2d said:


> Really? When the first part of your first sentence is yeah I'm going to react negatively, especially on this thread on this board.
> 
> I'm not drumming this up again, it's over, but because I was quoted I responded



that sentence was intended to say that some people find it harmful. the quotes were intended to show my sarcasm regarding the word harm. However, I will not argue the syntax of my sentence any longer. Sorry that it hurt some individuals. (Although I don't really realize how it could)...... Whatever, Russ2d, have your thread. Enjoy posting on it. PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 9, 2009)

Please let's not let misunderstandings mar a perfectly good thread.


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 9, 2009)

Russ2d said:


> Really? When the first part of your first sentence is yeah I'm going to react negatively, especially on this thread on this board.
> 
> I'm not drumming this up again, it's over, but because I was quoted I responded



Russ the use of quotes around the word "harm" made it clear that she was being sarcastic. Kind of like how in real life you use air quotes (Holding up forefinger and middle finger of each hand) to indicate something about which you are joking.

Msbard was essentially coming out as a feedee AND somebody who fantasizes about immobility. I say "coming out" only because I have not seen other posts by her talking about these fantasies. As much as you want the Weight Board and want it to be a safe place for fetishists to talk about their fantasies, you need to stop letting the perfect be the enemy of the good.

The Board is here, it is what we all make of it. It doesn't help to act as the thought police in an attempt to ferret out every possible derailment or wrongly worded post. 

I also don't think LillyBBW's comments about not always enjoying bombardment about eating/gaining questions was negative. I think she was actually specifically referring to the behaviour she's encountered in chat rooms, so it seemed more of a 'netiquette thing than an anti-feeder thing.

Not everyone's sexuality is the same and not everyone's expression of it is the same. What if somebody said "I'm sexually aroused by the thought of gaining weight, but for practical reasons I don't want to be fat." Is that a condemnation of gainers, or merely an expression of how one person practices their fetish?


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 9, 2009)

LoveBHMS said:


> Russ the use of quotes around the word "harm" made it clear that she was being sarcastic. Kind of like how in real life you use air quotes (Holding up forefinger and middle finger of each hand) to indicate something about which you are joking.
> 
> Msbard was essentially coming out as a feedee AND somebody who fantasizes about immobility. I say "coming out" only because I have not seen other posts by her talking about these fantasies. As much as you want the Weight Board and want it to be a safe place for fetishists to talk about their fantasies, you need to stop letting the perfect be the enemy of the good.
> 
> ...



That is exactly right. I love ice cream and The Jeffersons too but that doesn't mean I want to be bombarded with that either. I was talking about the behavior of individuals and not feeders as a whole.


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## Russ2d (Jul 9, 2009)

msbard90 said:


> that sentence was intended to say that some people find it harmful. the quotes were intended to show my sarcasm regarding the word harm. However, I will not argue the syntax of my sentence any longer. Sorry that it hurt some individuals. (Although I don't really realize how it could)...... Whatever, Russ2d, have your thread. Enjoy posting on it. PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Yeah I figured until I read the rest of your post which I inquired and quoted but you didn't respond...if you had, because your sentence structure and word choice apparently don't do you justice, I would have said ah-ha gave you a smiley face and moved on. As for rest, well not my thread and I'm used to being the bad guy- but I'm sending you some positive waves to match your PEACE


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## Russ2d (Jul 9, 2009)

> Russ the use of quotes around the word "harm" made it clear that she was being sarcastic. Kind of like how in real life you use air quotes (Holding up forefinger and middle finger of each hand) to indicate something about which you are joking.



It was clear until I read the rest of her text.



> The Board is here, it is what we all make of it. It doesn't help to act as the thought police in an attempt to ferret out every possible derailment or wrongly worded post.



Fair enough, I agree I may have been too aggressive. I may be too geared up for a fight. In my defense this subject has been nothing but a constant and ridiculous fight for *years* so yeah maybe I need to take a breath or two.


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 9, 2009)

I get that. 

The Weight Board itself is still fairly new, and having a protected Erotic Weight Gain board is a huge step.

I still think fetishists to some degree are seen (by some) as second class citizens on Dims, and i do think several people take a bit too much liberty with their comments, but by and large i'd say the fetishists are leaps and bounds ahead of where they have been.

I've also personally tried to shout down the non-fetishists who post here or who criticize people for expressing fantasies which they find offensive or upsetting.


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 9, 2009)

Stan, whether or not you intended for your post to be offensive, it was on so many levels.



> I believe it's important not to always base these discussions on the presumption that "feeding" (however it manifests itself) is a "fetish", or to position these conversations in such a way that this is some sort of "fetish" think-tank per se. It's hard to articulate, but this is what is always my point of contention regarding the "fetishization" of "feederism"... and often times by association, the "fetishization" of fat. Being "fetish" is sort of like being a "biker". I think it's best for other people to recognize one as being a biker than it is for one to declare themselves a biker. If you are really a biker than people will know it, and you won't give a rats ass what people think of it. If you are fetish than people will know it, and you won't give a rats ass what people think of it. *You don't have to run around declaring it... I can see why people who consider their tastes, or desires to be on the edge (aka fetish) chafe at the whole notion of an organized discussion of something they are into. Talking about how to do "feederism fetish style" is sort of like starting a thread on the proper method for a biker to conduct a bar room brawl. *Seeking compassion and understanding towards your "fetish" is sort of like starting a support group for bikers with beer intolerance.... you'll be hard pressed to find much sympathy. I think this is why I chafe at the whole assumption of what I perceive to be feederism always being associated with fetish. Possibly this is the feeling of others. At the same time though, the "feeder genie" is out of the bottle, feederism is hardly a secret known only by a select few... it is natural that the subject will come out in the open and be openly discussed.



Well then, you don't have to run around openly declaring yourself an FA do you? Just buy copies of XL magazine and date/marry SSBBW and people will get it. See what I did there? YOU are over the top in your FA declaration to the point of starting a website encouraging guys to declare that they are FAs and then you come *here* to *a protected board* and tell us how to self ascribe and how and whether or not we should declare ourselves feeders? 



> The second thing that *I think is very important for this group to recognize is that when you really come down to it, the label "feeder" or "feedee" are very inexact terms and personally, this is where I feel the misunderstanding towards this interest of purposeful weight gain usually rests.*



"This group". "This group" does not need you or anyone else telling us how we can best/better fit in with the normal kids. You sound like a queen bee middle school girl gently explaining to an outcast that she needs to realize that dying her hair pink or wearing punk style clothes or no makeup are what make her an outcast when the outcast wants pink hair, punk style clothes and no makeup. How would you like it if a non FA came on here and said it was "very important" for FAs to come up with very specific definitions of FA because there is such a variation among FAs.

There is a variation among FAs. Some are bisizual, some can NOT be aroused by a woman under a certain size, some prefer fat but will be attracted to thin with a particular woman. Some FAs are into gaining and some don't care. But it's up to the individual FA to self ascribe and sure as FUCK not up to a non-FA to tell you how you can better present yourself to others.



> If I may make a suggestion, I would recommend attempting to "map out" different forms of weight gain first, develop more exact terminology and then encourage people to talk about how they feel or relate to these specific forms of weight gain.



If i may make a suggestion, recognize that we're all different just as FAs are all different and speaking only for myself, I'd prefer you NOT come to a protected board and tell us we need to map for the sole purpose of getting other people to understand us. It's one thing for the community to kick around terminology and such, but quite another for us to think we should worry over how others see us.

I personally don't want or need to articulate, express, or explain my sexual fetish (and yeah, I self ascribe as a fetishist) to anyone other than somebody with whom I may have a feeding related sexual encounter.

To sum this up, this is a protected forum and you've come in and tried to tell us how we can do it better, and by 'doing it better' you apparently mean fit in better with the "real, regular, normal, mainstream FA community." I for one find it offensive.


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 9, 2009)

LoveBHMS said:


> I get that.
> 
> The Weight Board itself is still fairly new, and having a protected Erotic Weight Gain board is a huge step.
> 
> ...



I disagree. I've been privy to a lot of vibe here in which people feel that Dimensions is ALL about feeders and that we hold too much prominance here in the form of the protected area of the forum and the stories board, etc. People want to bring their little sister here to reap the many other benefits of being on this board but wont because of concerns the feeder/feedee stuff will fcuk her up for life and send the little rabbit screaming into the night. Or worse yet it will reflect poorly on them and people might think they are into the same things and they'll spend their whole lives having to explain themselves. Aaaaand with that I can hear the sound of more closet doors slamming. It would be great if NONE of us felt the need to have to explain ourselves. Some have bristled at the idea that a thread like this might promote understanding and so fourth. I was one of them. While I don't think things here will change people's minds I hope it will at least promote a kind of ease to say, "What others do with themselves is not about me," and finally let go of the need to have to explain or know.


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## William (Jul 9, 2009)

Hi Lilly

Most women in Fat Acceptance who are also active in the Feminist Community judge Dimensions very very harshly. I would never mention to most of them that I post here in fear of forever being suspect in their eyes. I have shared with the more open minded members that a lot of great talk and support goes on here but Dimensions reputation as a feeder/fetish site is too strong.

William






LillyBBBW said:


> I disagree. I've been privy to a lot of vibe here in which people feel that Dimensions is ALL about feeders and that we hold too much prominance here in the form of the protected area of the forum and the stories board, etc. People want to bring their little sister here to reap the many other benefits of being on this board but wont because of concerns the feeder/feedee stuff will fcuk her up for life and send the little rabbit screaming into the night. Or worse yet it will reflect poorly on them and people might think they are into the same things and they'll spend their whole lives having to explain themselves. Aaaaand with that I can hear the sound of more closet doors slamming. It would be great if NONE of us felt the need to have to explain ourselves. Some have bristled at the idea that a thread like this might promote understanding and so fourth. I was one of them. While I don't think things here will change people's minds I hope it will at least promote a kind of ease to say, "What others do with themselves is not about me," and finally let go of the need to have to explain or know.


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## RayanamiNGE (Jul 9, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> Yeah exactly.. talking to other girls would help.. normalize it a bit I think.



I understand entirely what you mean by this. With the ratio of male feeders and female feedee's at an all time high, when you get the chance to actually talk to a male feeder, chances are, they will bombard you with feederism "stuffs".

I know that I like the whole feeder thing. And it's sorta funny when I talk with a feedee, and I just ask them about them, like who they are, hobbies and what have you. They almost get angry at me, in confusion.


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 9, 2009)

William said:


> Hi Lilly
> 
> Most women in Fat Acceptance who are also active in the Feminist Community judge Dimensions very very harshly. I would never mention to most of them that I post here in fear of forever being suspect in their eyes. I have shared with the more open minded members that a lot of great talk and support goes on here but Dimensions reputation as a feeder/fetish site is too strong.
> 
> William



Yes I've heard that also William. It's sad that they feel that way but yet, I'm still here. I won't just lay down, go away and I won't stop speaking for myself even if they won't stand next to me. Heck, I'll raise my own army of zombie feedees if I have to. And we'll have better snacks.


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 9, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> I disagree. I've been privy to a lot of vibe here in which people feel that Dimensions is ALL about feeders and that we hold too much prominance here in the form of the protected area of the forum and the stories board, etc. People want to bring their little sister here to reap the many other benefits of being on this board but wont because of concerns the feeder/feedee stuff will fcuk her up for life and send the little rabbit screaming into the night. Or worse yet it will reflect poorly on them and people might think they are into the same things and they'll spend their whole lives having to explain themselves. Aaaaand with that I can hear the sound of more closet doors slamming. It would be great if NONE of us felt the need to have to explain ourselves. Some have bristled at the idea that a thread like this might promote understanding and so fourth. I was one of them. While I don't think things here will change people's minds I hope it will at least promote a kind of ease to say, "What others do with themselves is not about me," and finally let go of the need to have to explain or know.



That's interesting because i have felt just the opposite, like the fetishists are second class citizens. Maybe part of that is a defensiveness on the part of the non-fetishists who are resentful that Dims is seen as too feederism oriented.

This discussion always reminds me of one that i had on another board i used to frequent that was for Childfree by Choice. At one point, a poster recommended a convention or meetup, and the webmaster said it would not work for the same reason that having a convention of customers who buy the same brand of shampoo would not work---they have nothing else in common.

To some degree, factions of people here have nothing whatsoever in common. If you come here because you're fat and unhappy about airline seating and Old Navy's return policy, you are light years away from somebody who comes here because they are trying to figure out why they masturbate to fantasies about funnel feeding a partner. If you're a male who comes here because you're sexually aroused by fat women, you're light years away from a female feeder. If you are here to promote a paysite which is simply a business to you, you probably dont' care about anything in the Lounge along the lines of "Open Letters" or "Trivia Questions."


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## RayanamiNGE (Jul 9, 2009)

To fa_man_stan

First off, thank you for a very thought out post. Some of the posts on here are... bland to the taste. This was so full of exotic flavors, that I had to chew slowly and digest with an open mind.
_*
I've gone on many a rant towards "feeders" and "fetishists" but I have never really articulated myself very well and I probably come across as being anti-feeder, or anti-fetish, or whatever. Trust me, I'm really not attempting to be judgmental here.*_

I can understand how most people can take all that follows this with a dime on reason. With a disclaimer like that, people automatically will put themselves on the defensive. Show a sword, in any nature, and your opponent will raise shield.

*Considering that this is Dimensions, the subject of feeding and feederism is a certainly a topic worthy of discussion that has been long misunderstood, or interrupted on a regular basis by nay-sayers.*

Misunderstanding is just the beginning. People fear what is xeno of their way of life. A christian will fear the satanic, the peaceful will fear the blood hungry, as well as the Fat Acceptance Community will fear something that they have been fighting against their whole lives. and what I mean by "fighting against" is the stigma of fat people/overweight people let food rule them. And as a feedee is turned on by food, the public sees that as Fat Person + Food = Sex. This is a cross that the fat community did not ask to bear. I am a feeder, although not to the extreme that some take it to. I do enjoy those appalling fantasizes when they show themselves to me. But I don't wish to act upon those extremities on my own accord. 

I would not consider any persons personal opinions as an attack, nor should the following poster. Although when an opinionated person aggressively "shares" their opinion with others who will, of course disagree, then there will be an exchange of less than pleasant words. I understand when someone shoves a book in your face, proclaiming it is what you need to know as well, there will always be resistance. However, that being said, when someone solely shares an opinion as just that, an opinion, we ((as the feederism community)) must accept that our way of life is not everyone's way of life. 

_*It's hard to articulate, but this is what is always my point of contention regarding the "fetishization" of "feederism"... and often times by association, the "fetishization" of fat.*_

A line has been placed that we all approach with lustful hearts.

The argument of Fat. Most likely, a question that has spawned from some of the first women who have been approached by an Fat Admirer is this. What do you love, the woman who is fat, or the fat it's self?

Woh, hold on there dood, that's rocky turf that your entering. Yea, I don't care, I'm going there. ((Almost regretting doing this due to the bad feedback I will knowingly receive))

The Woman VS the Fat. This little predicament has been at our feet for longer than this board has existed, so it's nothing that anyone should be taken aback by. Do people have a preference to women who are big/fat/heavy/chubby/fluffy/obese/morbidly obese/super morbidly obese, or to the fat that they carry it's self. There is no candy coating this question, and from those who love the fat, has spawned what Man Stan has titled "The "fetishization" of fat".

And the Fetishization it is! We have created a new yet old way of life. There are some people who can not get off without an association of their fetish. Be it that a foot fetish, dirt fetish, deification fetish, suffocation fetish, or even this, a fat fetish. It's what makes us who and what we are.

Please milk drinker, take this meat and chew. This may come as a difficult thing to think of. A man or a woman, who loves someone because they are fat. Not the person them selves. It's nearly painful, but it is something that has been set afoot of us. Do I have an answer, nope, nada. I got zip people, hell I'm still conflicted with it myself. I don't know if its the fat that makes me all riled up, or the sexy woman that the fat is apart of. And then, if she was to, say have stomach cancer, what then? She could loose every pound, become gaunt and sickly, would I still love her? It scares the crap out of me!!! I seriously do not know what I would do. May that be shallow, or crude, I don't know. To my and her unfortunate circumstance, it's just a wait and see. 

_*The second thing that I think is very important for this group to recognize is that when you really come down to it, the label "feeder" or "feedee" are very inexact terms and personally, this is where I feel the misunderstanding towards this interest of purposeful weight gain usually rests.*_

Bravo, encore, magnificent! "Inexact terms"...

Write this down people. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.

Huh? Whats that? You've heard this before? Well why the crap are you so surprised to actually see it in action??

I am not the typical feeder, that being said, what is the typical feeder? Is it the feeding someone sensually that gets you going? Or maybe force feeding? Is it the idea that they will gain weight? Maybe you want to tie someone up, and feed them till they are wimpering in pain? Maybe all you want to do is see them to immobility? Well people? Is it A, B, C, D, E, or all the above? Maybe it's a mix? Maybe some of those sound exciting, and others, revolting. Well guess what, you are not alone, and your one of a kind, all at the same time. 

With the term feederism, the fetish of feeding and weight gain, sooooo much is lost. There are so many levels of feeders and feedees that grouping them into one big file, well, that's where all the arguments arise. Personally, I like to see a woman loose control and not stop eating, like some primal part of her Psyche just snapped and she can't stop eating. That's frackin' hot! Now, if she does or does not gain weight, I don't really care. It would be a lie, if i were to say that I do not enjoy the added weight, the more plush body, but that's a perk. Now, where would you put me? Am I a feeder? Am I a gain enthusiast? Hmm, I don't think so, I think I will be... hmmm... how about a "Me"? Yea that sounds good, I am I.

... getting it people? Hope I haven't lost you so far.

*Maybe breaking things down like this will "ruin the eroticism of feederism" but I think there is so much here that isn't being explored and quite frankly this whole subject of "feederism" has languished for so many years and will probably continue to languish until these kinds of things are recognized and better defined. Perhaps the further dissecting of this subject might even open up the conversation amongst the more "vanilla" types and the "fetishists" out there?*

Yea, I agree. Maybe analyzing all your reasons to why you like what you like will break that. Maybe the reason you have your personal little fetish is an unhealthy one. Dunno, and actually, I don't care. It's makes me happy. And as long as I am on this planet, I think I should take very frackin' chance I got to be happy. 

Although, I have analyzed my like for big women, and my personal little fetish. And I am comfortable with sharing it. My mom was a bitch, I hate her with a passion. She is like a size 0 ((yea, i didn't even know there was a size zero, and my annoying younger sister is a 00, thats double zero...)). Also, I loved my grandmother, she's a bigger woman, so perhapps I have some weird version of an oedipus complex. Maybe, but I don't care either way. Also, I am very self conscious about my weight and my looks. I don't think I'm attractive. So, maybe because I don't think I'm good looking by the social networks standards of "good looking", I should be with someone who is either equally "unattractive" or more unattractive as me. And if they stay fat, then I may have a chance of them staying with me.

Holy crap Batman, did he really just say those things?? Yup I did, am I proud of those things, not really. But I am who I am. I can't change that, nor do I want to at the moment. Am I chasing big women for the wrong reasons? Maybe... maybe. But I think I'd rather chase with a smile, than wonder with a frown.

That's my 2¢ people, take, it. Leave it. It doesn't matter, cuz when your long gone, and forgotten about me, and what I stand for in my heart, those two cents will still be there.

Thanks too all of you who have made it to the end of this rant/opinion. You deserve a medal!


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 9, 2009)

RayanamiNGE said:


> To fa_man_stan
> 
> First off, thank you for a very thought out post. Some of the posts on here are... bland to the taste. This was so full of exotic flavors, that I had to chew slowly and digest with an open mind.
> _*
> ...



Yep, bla bla bla. Look, if you want to build a banner for your particular pursuasions go right on ahead. Have t shirts made. You and Stan can skip along giggling barefoot throught the daisys pointing at things and giving them names as you go. It's all you and speaking only for myself, you have my full blessing if this will help. *thwoink* Just don't require everyone to hop along with you when we've stated repeatedly that we're not interested. Obviously no one cares as much about this as you do. Leave us alone.


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 9, 2009)

RayanamiNGE said:


> ..........<snipped>...........
> 
> Although, I have analyzed my like for big women, and my personal little fetish. And I am comfortable with sharing it. My mom was a bitch, I hate her with a passion. She is like a size 0 ((yea, i didn't even know there was a size zero, and my annoying younger sister is a 00, thats double zero...)). Also, I loved my grandmother, she's a bigger woman, so perhapps I have some weird version of an oedipus complex. Maybe, but I don't care either way. Also, I am very self conscious about my weight and my looks. I don't think I'm attractive. So, maybe because I don't think I'm good looking by the social networks standards of "good looking", I should be with someone who is either equally "unattractive" or more unattractive as me. And if they stay fat, then I may have a chance of them staying with me.
> 
> ...



Hey wait a minute. I've usually no stomach for long posts. I have a short attention span and I confess I stopped reading yours by the second or third paragraph, I can't remember. Overall your entire post came off as so rude and condescending to the people here I couldn't stomach it much longer which is why I stopped reading. But I just caught THIS??? ^^^^ Good Lord! What in the world would posess you to come in here and essentially call all the women here ugly enough for you to date? Are we supposed to coo and be thankful for this kind gesture on your part? "HOORAY, thank the gods another person feels poorly enough about himself to find us attractive!" We're PEOPLE here, not just quivering slabs of fat for you to poke a stick at and make declarations about. You say you want to be respected for your opinions, yeah I get that, but when you lace your opinions with inflammatory judgements and condescension it makes that impossible to do. 

Seriously man, get out of this thread. In one post you have managed to insult absolutely everyone and completely derail this thread into a potential flame war. We really don't need this kind of thing here. When you think this poorly of yourself and your desires and you go on to post about it here, what makes you any different from the others who come in here calling us all freaks and deludinoids? Stop putting these missives in here. It is not helpful and it adds nothing.


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## Blackjack (Jul 9, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> Hey wait a minute. I've usually no stomach for long posts. I have a short attention span and I confess I stopped reading yours by the second or third paragraph, I can't remember. Overall your entire post came off as so rude and condescending to the people here I couldn't stomach it much longer which is why I stopped reading. But I just caught THIS??? ^^^^ Good Lord! What in the world would posess you to come in here and essentially call all the women here ugly enough for you to date? Are we supposed to coo and be thankful for this kind gesture on your part? "HOORAY, thank the gods another person feels poorly enough about himself to find us attractive!" We're PEOPLE here, not just quivering slabs of fat for you to poke a stick at and make declarations about. You say you want to be respected for your opinions, yeah I get that, but when you lace your opinions with inflammatory judgements and condescension it makes that impossible to do.
> 
> Seriously man, get out of this thread. In one post you have managed to insult absolutely everyone and completely derail this thread into a potential flame war. We really don't need this kind of thing here. When you think this poorly of yourself and your desires and you go on to post about it here, what makes you any different from the others who come in here calling us all freaks and deludinoids? Stop putting these missives in here. It is not helpful and it adds nothing.


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## William (Jul 9, 2009)

I could not rep you!!!

William




LillyBBBW said:


> Hey wait a minute. I've usually no stomach for long posts.......


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## thatgirl08 (Jul 9, 2009)

Really.. more debate over terms?

I'll admit it.. I don't get it. WHAT IS WITH THE FUCKING OBSESSION OVER TERMS.. Should we all be FA's instead of having FFA's too? Is FA even a valid term? What makes someone a mid size BBW vs a BBW vs a SSBBW? What's the difference between feedee and gainer? BLAH. BLAH. BLAH. BLAH. 

These terms were made to simplify things and to provide some coherency to people who feel the same way.. it doesn't have to be exact.. and like most words in the English language has various meanings and interpretations but regardless, it still gets the point across.. if you say you're a feeder or a feedee or a gainer or an encourager or WHATEVER that means you're in some way connected with the fetish. You don't need specific terms so that you can know details about someones weight gain, relationships, fantasies.. first of all, everyone is so different.. it's so complex, that it's not something you can accurately describe through one term.. as far as I am concerned using the vague, but still specific enough, terms of feedee, feeder, encourager, gainer are fuckin' fine with me. 

This isn't going to be a popular opinion but I think too many people on here are too scared to admit they are turned on by it because of it's negative connotations within the community. All I want is a little acceptance here, of all fucking places. I've made Dims as opposed to Feeder UK or Fantasy Feeder or Curavage or whatever my internet home because this place is about more than just the sexual side of things.. I love the clothing forum, I love talking about size acceptance and it's nice having the lounge and everything too.. it really forms a real community as opposed to a losely connected group of people fapping to the same things.. yet, Dims has still not been able to overcome the fact that whether you like it or not, feederism is a BIG part of this community and chances are, it's always going to be. This particular thread and this forum is the place on Dims where we should be able to talk about this freely and despite mod's warnings people continue to come in here and spew their shit. Either shut up or get out.


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## leener38 (Jul 9, 2009)

And this thread started off so nicely. I got kinda lost. All I can say, is that I belong to assorted sites such as this one because I love food and bellies, food in my/his/her/their bellies, and the effects of too much deliciousness. 

As any human, we want to belong to something. But that causes little boxes with labels. We naturally label things to better understand them. Sometimes, the boxes merge, creating a whole new box. They look alike on the surface, so why not just make it easier on yourself. It's not necessary to study all contents in the box; there's too many things in there.

The only box with a label I want to see is that box of Life cereal I plan to polish off tonight.


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 9, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> Really.. more debate over terms?
> 
> I'll admit it.. I don't get it. WHAT IS WITH THE FUCKING OBSESSION OVER TERMS.. Should we all be FA's instead of having FFA's too? Is FA even a valid term? What makes someone a mid size BBW vs a BBW vs a SSBBW? What's the difference between feedee and gainer? BLAH. BLAH. BLAH. BLAH.
> 
> ...



Quoted for truth.

The only times the terms would really matter is in a sexual context. 

If I'm a feeder and want to engage in feeding that leads to weight gain, I need to know if the self ascribed 'feedee' wants to gain weight or just wants to have a few feeding/stuffing sessions but not actually gain.

If I get off on watching somebody eat but don't care about weight gain, I need to know if my partner really craves having a dominant feeder who is going to make him into an obese hog.


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 9, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> Really.. more debate over terms?
> 
> I'll admit it.. I don't get it. WHAT IS WITH THE FUCKING OBSESSION OVER TERMS.. Should we all be FA's instead of having FFA's too? Is FA even a valid term? What makes someone a mid size BBW vs a BBW vs a SSBBW? What's the difference between feedee and gainer? BLAH. BLAH. BLAH. BLAH.
> 
> ...



I agree. Like you I've been around the webs a bit. So many people experience this in so many ways it would be insanity trying to label it all and come up with terms. I've kind of been on a personal crusade to avoid these kinds of labels because I've seen people come along feeling way out of place trying to figure out how their straight/queer/transgendered/Domsub or whatever fits in with the family groove going on. I've felt it sometimes myself. So far from what I've seen there seems to be more thin people in to being feedes than fat people. This site catering to fat issues and being so insular it is easy to lose sight of that. Their experiences can in some ways be vastly different than ours and even more varied. The label making process would go on for years making the periodic table look like a See-And-Say toy by comparison. We'd never get out of here.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jul 9, 2009)

OK. Let's have a brief intermission, please.

As stated in the beginning of this thread, it could go one of two ways. The let's pick this thing apart and put the labels on it (kinda like high school, huh?) or the "Hey, you know what I like?" or "this is something I want to try." way.

I do have two requests based on the most recent posts, requests that I hope I can explain. Please do not state the words - "tie up and funnel feed", unless you have done it or are actually planning to, yourself or to a willing partner. I request this, because that is the FACE of feederism right now. And quite frankly I think we are in need of a new slogan and visual.

Secondly, please realize that some folks are into weight gain and some are not. Some weight gain may be real, and some fantasy. Not all feeding is the same. Not all people are the same. Everyone is allowed to play, however they choose. 

Oh, I lied, I have a third request, please leave all judgements at the door. This is not aimed at anyone in particular. This is aimed at me and everyone who enters.

Please know that I welcome all comments here. I have not intended to insult anyone. I really want to get back to some "fantasies". Come on people, I am a boring thinker, give up some ideas already.


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 9, 2009)

*takes deep breath*

Ok. What I like most likely won't be your cup of tea D_A_Bunny. I've only ever shared this with ONE person and I threatended to kill him with papercuts if he ever told. I guess I can take the bounty off his head now.

One of my more intense turn-ons involves stuffing. When I'm highly aroused, I absolutely *must* get fatter and he has to help me. I'm almost whiney about it. I'm nearly frantic to be as full and stuffed as possible. Sometimes my hands are tied, sometimes not, but in all instances I'm riding him while he fed me continuously and I begged for more. Half of the food, which was usually agreed upon in advance, would fall on the floor or on our clothes anyway but you get the picture. Once I found my release I would collapse on my side so stuffed I can't move - or pretending to be so stuffed I can't move whatever but the premise was the same. He would rub my belly and tell me how fat and beautiful I was till he found his own release in the position I alluded to pages and pages ago. Spooning immediatley followed.

Yeah aint the kama sutra but, yeah. It's what I enjoyed.

*runs away*


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## RayanamiNGE (Jul 9, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> Hey wait a minute. I've usually no stomach for long posts. I have a short attention span and I confess I stopped reading yours by the second or third paragraph, I can't remember. Overall your entire post came off as so rude and condescending to the people here I couldn't stomach it much longer which is why I stopped reading. But I just caught THIS??? ^^^^ Good Lord! What in the world would posess you to come in here and essentially call all the women here ugly enough for you to date? Are we supposed to coo and be thankful for this kind gesture on your part? "HOORAY, thank the gods another person feels poorly enough about himself to find us attractive!" We're PEOPLE here, not just quivering slabs of fat for you to poke a stick at and make declarations about. You say you want to be respected for your opinions, yeah I get that, but when you lace your opinions with inflammatory judgements and condescension it makes that impossible to do.
> 
> Seriously man, get out of this thread. In one post you have managed to insult absolutely everyone and completely derail this thread into a potential flame war. We really don't need this kind of thing here. When you think this poorly of yourself and your desires and you go on to post about it here, what makes you any different from the others who come in here calling us all freaks and deludinoids? Stop putting these missives in here. It is not helpful and it adds nothing.



Oh boy, the way that statement of mine came across was so not the way it was intended. I really didn't mean for it to be like that *Slaps own face*

Okay now, what was truly meant in that statement was that I find big women attractive, much much more attractive than anything else in this world. I believe that they deserve as much if not more respect than the next person, wither they be big, small, misshapen, or beautiful. But from a psych's standpoint ((I've been to a psych when I was about 14, and he tried to analyze why I love big women)) the conclusion was that I apparently want someone less attractive than myself, to make myself feel better.

That is NOT what I personally believe. I believe that most of the heavy set women who I have dated are far more attractive than myself. I am honored to have them hold my hand in public.

Please please please do not think that it's like a "pity" thing, cuz trust me, it's not.

Sheesh, i feel like I may have had said something yet again to put myself in a bad place. If I did, trust me, it's not to be an attack or offensive. 

Lilly, thank you VERY much for pointing my out on that one. I should have reread it again to make sure that nothing was bad. Please forgive me, and everyone else that I may have offended.

*Feels incredibly bad*


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## D_A_Bunny (Jul 9, 2009)

Oh Lilly, I like that story. Thank you for sharing. 

That is exactly what I was hoping for. I might not personally get turned on by all of it (but alot of it), but I am fairly sure my partner would. So in reality, me sharing this story with him is doing me a favor.

So thanks again for sharing.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jul 9, 2009)

RayanamiNGE said:


> But from a psych's standpoint ((I've been to a psych when I was about 14, and he tried to analyze why I love big women)) the conclusion was that I apparently want someone less attractive than myself, to make myself feel better.



I wanted to take a moment to point out two things to you.

First - just because you allow someone to analyze you does not mean that they will be correct in their final analysis.

Second - if someone / anyone tells you something that they THINK and you don't believe them, or agree, it is probably best NOT to repeat what they have said. Unless you are using their statement as an example to prove that you disagree with them.

But I think that it is good that you have clarified your previous post. Thank you for that.


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## RayanamiNGE (Jul 9, 2009)

D_A_Bunny said:


> I wanted to take a moment to point out two things to you.
> 
> First - just because you allow someone to analyze you does not mean that they will be correct in their final analysis.
> 
> ...



I only wish I could have clarified it sooner. I think I've done enought damage... I think I will keep my responces short, and to the point. Also, thanks for the advice, if I do repeate something someone else has said, I should put a disclaimer on it, and follow up with my view...


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 9, 2009)

RayanamiNGE said:


> Oh boy, the way that statement of mine came across was so not the way it was intended. I really didn't mean for it to be like that *Slaps own face*
> 
> Okay now, what was truly meant in that statement was that I find big women attractive, much much more attractive than anything else in this world. I believe that they deserve as much if not more respect than the next person, wither they be big, small, misshapen, or beautiful. But from a psych's standpoint ((I've been to a psych when I was about 14, and he tried to analyze why I love big women)) the conclusion was that I apparently want someone less attractive than myself, to make myself feel better.
> 
> ...



Fair enough RayanamiNGE.  And to reiterate what D_A_Bunny said, no matter how many plaques somebody has on the wall you have the ultimate say on what you like, why you like it and who you are. To have a PhD is commendable and they can offer some helpful advice and nifty drugs but you still have the ultimate power to judge what they say and decide if it's helpful. They can still be wrong. I'm sure you know that though.  I said this elsehwere, can't remember where, but only you are an expert on you.


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## indy500tchr (Jul 9, 2009)

RayanamiNGE said:


> Although, *I have analyzed *my like for big women, and my personal little *fetish*. And I am comfortable with sharing it. My mom was a bitch, I hate her with a passion. She is like a size 0 ((yea, i didn't even know there was a size zero, and my annoying younger sister is a 00, thats double zero...)). Also, I loved my grandmother, she's a bigger woman, so perhapps I have some weird version of an oedipus complex. Maybe, but I don't care either way. Also, I am very self conscious about my weight and my looks. I don't think I'm attractive. So, maybe because I don't think I'm good looking by the social networks standards of "good looking", I should be with someone who is either equally "unattractive" or more unattractive as me. And if they stay fat, then I may have a chance of them staying with me.
> 
> Holy crap Batman, did he really just say those things?? Yup I did, am I proud of those things, not really. But I am who I am. I can't change that, nor do I want to at the moment. *Am I chasing big women for the wrong reasons? Maybe... maybe. *But I think I'd rather chase with a smile, than wonder with a frown.
> 
> ...





RayanamiNGE said:


> Oh boy, the way that statement of mine came across was so not the way it was intended. I really didn't mean for it to be like that *Slaps own face*
> 
> Okay now, what was truly meant in that statement was that I find big women attractive, much much more attractive than anything else in this world. I believe that they deserve as much if not more respect than the next person, wither they be big, small, misshapen, or beautiful. But from a psych's standpoint ((I've been to a psych when I was about 14, and he tried to analyze why I love big women)) the conclusion was that I apparently want someone less attractive than myself, to make myself feel better.
> 
> ...



Man you cannot just back pedal b/c somebody called you out. See what I put in bold? You said yourself that YOU analyzed not a psychologist. And I hope to hell that this fetish you speak of is feederism and NOT liking fat women. Then you said that you might be "chasing" fat women for the wrong reasons. WTF??? You either like them or you don't. 

So stay in the fucking closet until you've made up your mind so you don't hurt anybody with your insecure bullshit.

/rant over


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## RayanamiNGE (Jul 9, 2009)

indy500tchr said:


> Man you cannot just back pedal b/c somebody called you out. See what I put in bold? You said yourself that YOU analyzed not a psychologist. And I hope to hell that this fetish you speak of is feederism and NOT liking fat women. Then you said that you might be "chasing" fat women for the wrong reasons. WTF??? You either like them or you don't.
> 
> So stay in the fucking closet until you've made up your mind so you don't hurt anybody with your insecure bullshit.



Duely noted.

What I meant by in the "wrong reasons" is the wrong reasons in someone elses eyes. I like to care for someone. I enjoy going out of my way to do something for someone, like get a Soda, or help around the ouse. I feel needed. And some of my friends think that wanting to be with a big woman just to feel needed is wrong. I just love to help, that has nothing to do with me liking big women. And yea, I said that I analized, it was more, or, syphoning through the BS that my psych feed out to me and someone find what was truly ment.
Not in the closet here hun, in fact I've been public about who I am sence I was 14. Again, I think I need to try to clarify what I'm trying to say when I say it. Sometimes I over think what I'm writing as I'm writing, and forget the point I was trying to make. 

Also, the fetish, yea, I mean feederism, sorry bout that. I watch a lot of shows and some people consider liking over weight people is a fetish, I think its a preferance. Sorry again for not being clear about things...


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## indy500tchr (Jul 9, 2009)

RayanamiNGE said:


> Duely noted.
> 
> What I meant by in the "wrong reasons" is the wrong reasons in someone elses eyes. I like to care for someone. I enjoy going out of my way to do something for someone, like get a Soda, or help around the ouse. I feel needed. And some of my friends think that wanting to be with a big woman just to feel needed is wrong. I just love to help, that has nothing to do with me liking big women. And yea, I said that I analized, it was more, or, syphoning through the BS that my psych feed out to me and someone find what was truly ment.
> Not in the closet here hun, in fact I've been public about who I am sence I was 14. Again, I think I need to try to clarify what I'm trying to say when I say it. Sometimes I over think what I'm writing as I'm writing, and forget the point I was trying to make.
> ...



No worries...Just maybe next time preview the post and read it before submitting so you don't have spend hours pulling your foot out of your mouth


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 9, 2009)

indy500tchr said:


> Man you cannot just back pedal b/c somebody called you out. See what I put in bold? You said yourself that YOU analyzed not a psychologist. And I hope to hell that this fetish you speak of is feederism and NOT liking fat women. Then you said that you might be "chasing" fat women for the wrong reasons. WTF??? You either like them or you don't.
> 
> So stay in the fucking closet until you've made up your mind so you don't hurt anybody with your insecure bullshit.
> 
> /rant over



I had a doctor analyze me and she told me that I was keeping myself fat as a protective measure. Something about fear of men or abuse. It didn't sound right to me but because she was an expert who knows about these things and I was young I tried to keep an open mind. In those years when I self analyzed about being fat I kept that for consideration with the slim possiblity that it may be true, though my instincts said otherwise. It wasn't till I got older that I realized my shrink didn't know what she was talking about and was basing her analysis on stereotypes. I needed in a sense to be given permission to completely remove that scenario from the equasion which I did eventually. So at one time I may have tossed it out there that possibly I'm fat because I hate/fear men and am subconciously sabotaging my wieght loss attemps when I acheive some success. In my heart I did not believe that though.


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## RayanamiNGE (Jul 9, 2009)

indy500tchr said:


> No worries...Just maybe next time preview the post and read it before submitting so you don't have spend hours pulling your foot out of your mouth



You may not be worried about it but I am. I came onto this forum and am visiting a little party in houston next week in hopes to make new friends and meet new people who are passionate about the same things I am. I have a headache over the idiocracy that I've brought upon myself.

Although, I am very happy that everyone has taken the time to point me out on my mistakes. These are things that everyone could have easily ignored and just thought that I am a douchebag... Thank you all very much, I'm really happy that this can be a place to disscuse things with people, not just a comparison of notes. Other than Www.pspiso.com, I am not a part of any forums ((that I know of)) so the way that things are disscussed is something a bit new to me. Thanks everyone for giving me the opportunity to correct myself.


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 9, 2009)

D_A_Bunny said:


> OK. Let's have a brief intermission, please.
> 
> As stated in the beginning of this thread, it could go one of two ways. The let's pick this thing apart and put the labels on it (kinda like high school, huh?) or the "Hey, you know what I like?" or "this is something I want to try." way.
> 
> ...



This is a contradiction and basically repeating what Stan said.

First off, I HAVE done it to a partner (he was not tied up but there was funnel feeding) and secondly I don't care what the public face of feederism is. This is like telling a fat person to not admit they sit around eating junk food all day because that's the stereotype of all fat people. If they do in fact sit around eating junk food, then they can and should admit it without worrying over whether they've ruined it for everyone else.


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## thatgirl08 (Jul 9, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> I agree. Like you I've been around the webs a bit. So many people experience this in so many ways it would be insanity trying to label it all and come up with terms. I've kind of been on a personal crusade to avoid these kinds of labels because I've seen people come along feeling way out of place trying to figure out how their straight/queer/transgendered/Domsub or whatever fits in with the family groove going on. I've felt it sometimes myself. So far from what I've seen there seems to be more thin people in to being feedes than fat people. This site catering to fat issues and being so insular it is easy to lose sight of that. Their experiences can in some ways be vastly different than ours and even more varied. The label making process would go on for years making the periodic table look like a See-And-Say toy by comparison. We'd never get out of here.



Yeah, I was thinking the same thing about straight/queer/trans thing when I wrote my other post. I used to go on a site called teenhelp a lot and I was the mod for the LGBTQ forum there and people would always ask like AM I GAY? and give us all this info about their feelings and what have you and basically ask us to label them and I always just tried to tell people like.. it doesn't matter what you call yourself.. just follow your feelings, don't be afraid to experiment and don't rush to put a specific label on yourself. The same thing applies here. I call myself a feedee but that isn't indicative of every single aspect of the fetish I'm into, and that's okay with me because it gets the point across enough and those who really want to know can delve deeper and I'll tell them. 



LoveBHMS said:


> The only times the terms would really matter is in a sexual context.
> 
> If I'm a feeder and want to engage in feeding that leads to weight gain, I need to know if the self ascribed 'feedee' wants to gain weight or just wants to have a few feeding/stuffing sessions but not actually gain.
> 
> If I get off on watching somebody eat but don't care about weight gain, I need to know if my partner really craves having a dominant feeder who is going to make him into an obese hog.



Totally agreed. Generally, I would say my partner is the only one who really needs to know specific fantasies (the only exception to this would be during a discussion like this.) Clearly my partner is going to want to know more than whether I'm a feedee vs feeder because there's so so so many different sub fetishes and aspects to it but no terms needed, imo. The only exception to this is that I occasionally call myself a sub feedee because I definitely tend to be submissive in regards to feederism.


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## Weeze (Jul 9, 2009)

Back on topic. OMG. Lilly. You're amazing.
Seriously. I'm gone one day and all this happens? Stan. Love ya, but we all know already how you feel about this stuff. We're aware.

If this isn't your bag, just leave. Seriously. It's not hard. We're not hurting you. I'm not gonna feed your daughter to immobility.


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## Russ2d (Jul 9, 2009)

LoveBHMS said:


> Quoted for truth.
> 
> The only times the terms would really matter is in a sexual context.
> 
> ...




Hey I think my general definitons over on the thread I started we're pretty damn good  I got my vote


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## Russ2d (Jul 9, 2009)

LoveBHMS said:


> This is a contradiction and basically repeating what Stan said.
> 
> First off, I HAVE done it to a partner (he was not tied up but there was funnel feeding) and secondly I don't care what the public face of feederism is. This is like telling a fat person to not admit they sit around eating junk food all day because that's the stereotype of all fat people. If they do in fact sit around eating junk food, then they can and should admit it without worrying over whether they've ruined it for everyone else.



I have to agree, that was a contradiction...

We should not be afraid to express ANY desire or fantasy. I don't give a flying you know what about the feminists or the public or the disapproving SA peeps because no matter what "face" we present "they" will still think the same way about us- we are dealing with people who have already made up their minds and are very unlikely to change... that's why I say the best policy is to be honest and firm, very very firm

We are consenting adults not children


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## thatgirl08 (Jul 10, 2009)

krismiss said:


> I'm not gonna feed your daughter to immobility.



EHHH, I don't know.. I might.


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## Russ2d (Jul 10, 2009)

You know I was just thinking and I have to say something in defense of us-

With all the incredible variety of fetishes and sexual variations that exist out there, some of them patently VERY bizarre and extreme

How the f*ck is the feeder/feedee stuff so controversial? 

When you think about it the whole feeder/feedee thing is pretty tame and innocent compared to some of the other stuff that's out there

What is the big friggin deal?


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## Weeze (Jul 10, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> EHHH, I don't know.. I might.



That's hot shit.


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## thatgirl08 (Jul 10, 2009)

Russ2d said:


> You know I was just thinking and I have to say something in defense of us-
> 
> With all the incredible variety of fetishes and sexual variations that exist out there, some of them patently VERY bizarre and extreme
> 
> ...



Welllllllll, I don't think this is exactly fair. The 'what's more bizarre conversation' is an easy one to fall into but I'm all about promoting tolerance of all kinks (between two consenting adults). Putting other fetishes down isn't going to help acceptance for feeders/feedees so I try to stay away from it.

Also, I think it really depends on what aspects of feederism you're talking about.. sensually feeding someone strawberries in bed may not be considered bizarre by most but gaining to the point of immobility.. well, that's a different story. 

Alsoalso, since being fat is seen as a fate worse than death by lots of people I think the idea of purposefully gaining is extremely bizarre to most.


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## thatgirl08 (Jul 10, 2009)

krismiss said:


> That's hot shit.



I do what I can.


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Jul 10, 2009)

I for one have always been annoyed by how much people talk about how "dangerous" it is, and people who say they are gaining are reminded to "be careful" and "not to let it get out of control."

Of all the kinky things people do together, popping chocolates into somebody's mouth and rubbing their tummy seems the LEAST likely to result in injury or spin out of control. Weight gain takes months to produce any significant results. All the warnings are like screaming "Look out! Don't get run over by that glacier!" 

*points to quote in my sig*


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## thatgirl08 (Jul 10, 2009)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> I for one have always been annoyed by how much people talk about how "dangerous" it is, and people who say they are gaining are reminded to "be careful" and "not to let it get out of control."
> 
> Of all the kinky things people do together, popping chocolates into somebody's mouth and rubbing their tummy seems the LEAST likely to result in injury or spin out of control. Weight gain takes months to produce any significant results. All the warnings are like screaming "Look out! Don't get run over by that glacier!"
> 
> *points to quote in my sig*



I get this and all, but I'm still afraid of it to a certain extent. Am I the only feedee here that sometimes worries about 'going too far' with maybe the right (wrong?) person?


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Jul 10, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> *takes deep breath*
> 
> Ok. What I like most likely won't be your cup of tea D_A_Bunny. I've only ever shared this with ONE person and I threatended to kill him with papercuts if he ever told. I guess I can take the bounty off his head now.
> 
> ...





This made me go "awww" n.n

So cute. @[email protected]


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## stan_der_man (Jul 10, 2009)

krismiss said:


> ...
> Stan. Love ya, but we all know already how you feel about this stuff. We're aware.
> 
> If this isn't your bag, just leave. Seriously. It's not hard. We're not hurting you. I'm not gonna feed your daughter to immobility.



Krismiss... Just for the record, not a personal attack on you... We've exchanged posts in the past I do respect your views... Just a critique of what you (and others in the past) wrote...

For those who (to paraphrase Krismiss...) "already know how I feel" about this subject..". read my post again. I never said I'm against "feederism" (however it is described) All I am saying here is, try thinking outside of the box for once... Try to explore the whole aspect of "feederism" and weight gain a bit more than the usual two step process of that we always seem to hear about... One - feed partner to immobility followed by... Two - masterbate... and if you are really kinky, have your partner pee or shit on you... (I know... this is an exaggeration...)

Here is a little something I think all you feederism experts ought to read:



> *WHAT IS THE DIMENSIONS BASH?*
> 
> The Dimensions Bash is a celebration of size, freedom of body and mind. Whether you're a large person, admirer, or supporter - *all are welcome. We believe in supporting diversity of interests, fantasy, and views.* If you want to have fun with a community of people who are fat-positive and size-accepting, then this is the place you should be this summer! Fun, sun, parties, workshops, park visits - all in a place where fat people are the focus (in a good way!)



I think this is a very good mantra, the part that I put in bold text in particular. If this thread is an attempt to follow this mantra, than I think this could be a very interesting thread for everyone. If this thread is yet another opportunity for prancing around and seeing who is "more fetish" than who, by all means prance away... I'll stop disrupting the parade.




LoveBHMS said:


> Stan, whether or not you intended for your post to be offensive, it was on so many levels.
> 
> ...
> 
> To sum this up, this is a protected forum and you've come in and tried to tell us how we can do it better, and by 'doing it better' you apparently mean fit in better with the "real, regular, normal, mainstream FA community." I for one find it offensive.



Same old house of eggshells LoveBHMS... Everybody is always so easily offended. It's sort of like when Stan on SouthPark joined a group of Goths only to realize that the "non-conformists" were in fact just another group of conformists. Leave us alone... don't judge us... Well, if Krismiss' post is any indication, it seems like the "feeders" have already passed judgment on me. I'm here to "offend"... you "know how I feel about this subject"... Who is passing judgment here? If you are "offended" by someone trying to inject new ideas, than perhaps you aren't interested in hearing new ideas. And for those who don't want to be labeled, well... you are already labeled and in fact label yourselves...

If you think I am disrupting this "exploration" of feederism, than I'll bow out and let you carry on then. All I ask is that you read the statement of the Dimension Bash and take to heart... or just continue on as things have been done in the past.


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## Blackjack (Jul 10, 2009)

fa_man_stan said:


> Try to explore the whole aspect of "feederism" and weight gain a bit more than the usual two step process of that we always seem to hear about... One - feed partner to immobility followed by... Two - masterbate...



Based on this, then yes, I do think that you're here to offend.


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## Weeze (Jul 10, 2009)

nevermind.


----------



## thatgirl08 (Jul 10, 2009)

fa_man_stan said:


> All I am saying here is, try thinking outside of the box for once... Try to explore the whole aspect of "feederism" and weight gain a bit more than the usual two step process of that we always seem to hear about... One - feed partner to immobility followed by... Two - masterbate... and if you are really kinky, have your partner pee or shit on you... (I know... this is an exaggeration...)



Okay.. this alone is extremely offensive. You think you're injecting new ideas but then this part.. just a stereotype. What new idea is this exactly? Many, if not most, people into feederism aren't interested in immobility, pee or scat but somehow you think it's appropriate to pull out the most controversial subfetishes/aspects of feederism and slap a label on it like THIS IS WHAT MAKES A FEEDER. It's offensive to assume that this is what all feeders/feedees are about and it's even more offensive that you're acting like those things AREN'T valid fantasies/kinks. Just because you aren't turned on by it doesn't it make it any less of a turn on for someone else.

Secondly, why do we need to "explore" or "think outside the box.." feederism isn't a movement, or an organization or an event.. it's a kink.. most of it comes naturally and what doesn't is usually thought out in our own imaginations.. we don't need to have a thread to discuss 'new ideas' and certainly not from those who are not exactly part of the fetish. Not to mention, if someone only wants to use those things to get off then well, more fuckin' power to them.. as long as they are two consenting adults and both happy then whatever.. fine with me. And it should be fine with you too because it doesn't affect you whatsoever.

You think we're passing judgement on you but it's clearly the other way around. If you aren't into feederism.. GET. OUT. OF. OUR. THREAD.


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## Weeze (Jul 10, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> *snip*
> 
> You think we're passing judgement on you but it's clearly the other way around. If you aren't into feederism.. GET. OUT. OF. OUR. THREAD.




this is why I love you. Let's sex now. I'll bring the cake.


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## Suze (Jul 10, 2009)

William said:


> Hi Lilly
> 
> Most women in Fat Acceptance who are also active in the Feminist Community judge Dimensions very very harshly. I would never mention to most of them that I post here in fear of forever being suspect in their eyes. I have shared with the more open minded members that a lot of great talk and support goes on here but Dimensions reputation as a feeder/fetish site is too strong.
> 
> William


Really? I had no idea. 
That makes me kinda sad :/


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## thatgirl08 (Jul 10, 2009)

krismiss said:


> this is why I love you. Let's sex now. I'll bring the cake.



Chocolate please.


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## Weeze (Jul 10, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> Chocolate please.



DUH.



William said:


> Hi Lilly
> 
> Most women in Fat Acceptance who are also active in the Feminist Community judge Dimensions very very harshly. I would never mention to most of them that I post here in fear of forever being suspect in their eyes. I have shared with the more open minded members that a lot of great talk and support goes on here but Dimensions reputation as a feeder/fetish site is too strong.
> 
> William




Wait. Wait.
What in hell did you just say?


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## Russ2d (Jul 10, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> *takes deep breath*
> 
> Ok. What I like most likely won't be your cup of tea D_A_Bunny. I've only ever shared this with ONE person and I threatended to kill him with papercuts if he ever told. I guess I can take the bounty off his head now.
> 
> ...




Ooo that's was very nice Lilly  A diamond in the rough here, I love it


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## thatgirl08 (Jul 10, 2009)

Yeah, I have to agree Lilly.. super hot.


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## Russ2d (Jul 10, 2009)

> Welllllllll, I don't think this is exactly fair. The 'what's more bizarre conversation' is an easy one to fall into but I'm all about promoting tolerance of all kinks (between two consenting adults). Putting other fetishes down isn't going to help acceptance for feeders/feedees so I try to stay away from it.



Yeah I agree, not putting anything "down" here but I still think we're pretty innocent



> Also, I think it really depends on what aspects of feederism you're talking about.. sensually feeding someone strawberries in bed may not be considered bizarre by most but gaining to the point of immobility.. well, that's a different story.



This is true, 



> Alsoalso, since being fat is seen as a fate worse than death by lots of people I think the idea of purposefully gaining is extremely bizarre to most.



A good point, and hopefully this will change for many


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## Russ2d (Jul 10, 2009)

How about some more fantasy talk for the thread?

My first fantasy -ahhh the one where I kidnap and force feed a girl, stuffing her, with maybe her not wanting it at first but then perhaps loving it later; fattening her up into a big fluffy sex doll where she becomes so fat and soft that any part of her can get me off...

And another, I love this one too, is being a guard to a bitchy princess who is busy fattening herself up for a one day future prince. My job is to get her her favorite foods and "endure" her using me as a piece of furniture to sit on or lay on. Although she pretends to ignore me as just her personal guard she gauges her progress by how much squashing and fat enveloping pleasure she can "inflict" upon me.


... anybody else want to share a fantasy or two?


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## Russ2d (Jul 10, 2009)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> I for one have always been annoyed by how much people talk about how "dangerous" it is, and people who say they are gaining are reminded to "be careful" and "not to let it get out of control."
> 
> Of all the kinky things people do together, popping chocolates into somebody's mouth and rubbing their tummy seems the LEAST likely to result in injury or spin out of control. Weight gain takes months to produce any significant results. All the warnings are like screaming "Look out! Don't get run over by that glacier!"
> 
> *points to quote in my sig*



Agreed, I am also sick of the patronizing silly reminders heaped upon us, but especially on female feedees


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## leener38 (Jul 10, 2009)

Russ2d said:


> How about some more fantasy talk for the thread?
> 
> My first fantasy -ahhh the one where I kidnap and force feed a girl, stuffing her, with maybe her not wanting it at first but then perhaps loving it later; fattening her up into a big fluffy sex doll where she becomes so fat and soft that any part of her can get me off...



Still awesome! I think if I were taken, I hope that my kidnapper would fatten me to a hard ball belly. I like those. Even had a lil one for a second. When they let me go, I'd have to hold my heavy belly with both hands. Since I couldn't get new clothes, my beach ball would be spilling over the top of my very tight pants, and my stretchy tee shirt would look like a halter. Belly button all poked out and welts of stretchmarks due to the quick gain. The skin on my belly would be all itchy and shiny and new, begging for a rub and cocoa butter... Yeah.

All these terms and phrases... I already have a label. It's my name. I like what I like and refuse to justify myself to anyone.


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## Mack27 (Jul 10, 2009)

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/Weight_Room/stories/experiments.html

A cool story about consensual non-consensual feediing. 

All these kidnapping/force-feeding fantasies made me wonder about setting up a kidnapping service. But naw, that's ridiculous isn't it? Apparently there is such thing:

http://www.helium.com/items/213496-lessons-in-life

For $4000 you can get yourself very realistically kidnapped and have them follow your fantasies as closely as possible.


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## RayanamiNGE (Jul 10, 2009)

Mack27 said:


> http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/Weight_Room/stories/experiments.html
> 
> A cool story about consensual non-consensual feediing.
> 
> ...



These stories are such guilty pleasures >.<


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## biackrlng (Jul 10, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> *takes deep breath*
> 
> Ok. What I like most likely won't be your cup of tea D_A_Bunny. I've only ever shared this with ONE person and I threatended to kill him with papercuts if he ever told. I guess I can take the bounty off his head now.
> 
> ...



Lilly, 
Riding,feeding and belly rubbing 3 of my favorite things to do:eat2::eat1:

biackrlng from RI


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## Cors (Jul 10, 2009)

I have a question for feedees.

Have you ever felt insecure about your current size ("OMG I am so small" or "my partner thinks I am too small") during the fantasy or act _despite arousal_? 

How about feeling like a failure because you cannot finish the portion of food you put aside during the fantasy or act, especially after climax? Or the inability to reach an actual weight gain goal if that is desired? 

I often wish I could put on weight (health reasons, pressure, occasional preference) and consume large amounts of food at one go (I have a small appetite and hate yummy food going to waste, plus I love the idea of hedonistic eating), but it is not sexual for me and I usually just end up feeling bad about myself.


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 10, 2009)

Cors said:


> I have a question for feedees.
> 
> Have you ever felt insecure about your current size ("OMG I am so small" or "my partner thinks I am too small") during the fantasy or act _despite arousal_?
> 
> ...



Well as far as being too small I don't usually feel that way due to my natural size. Not unless the guy is going on and on about Teighlor of some such thing but then I'd be kicking him out of my house. But the food part, yes o' plenty. Especially now that I'm older. I can't put away food anymore like I used to. I go to a reastaurant and by the time I've finished eating the complimentary bread in the beginning I can barely put a dent in my food. During erotic sessions most of the food gets wasted and my partner has to clean up the mess, part of our deal. I hated the idea that he would see all the food there and it would be a letdown in some way. Oddly enough it was the contrary which he couldn't really explain why seeing it there was hot. Life often doesn't rhyme. 

I have less anxiety about it now than I used to. It would be great for my partner if I *could* put it all away but in the big picture it doesn't matter so much. At least not with the guys I've seen. They are usually with me for other reasons besides all that so it's merely a blip on the screen. I do go through periods though when it seems I can't get full. Nothing satisfies and I can't stop eating. I think everybody (possibly?) has moments like that and it's at that time I think, "Damn!" I wish I had a partner I could share this with 'coz I'm show-offy that way and I know he would looooooooove this. I have a decent appetite generally but it's not nearly what it was. Food gets left behind more often now.

ETA: About wasting food. I'm pretty uptight about that sort of thing. I hate to see good food go to waste also. My way of dealing with this was to give food away. I donated money and canned goods to the local food bank, I bought things for homeless persons I've encountered, I've fed homeless veterans on Thanksgiving to thank them for their service to our country. Things like this made me feel somewhat better about it.


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 10, 2009)

fa_man_stan said:


> Krismiss... Just for the record, not a personal attack on you... We've exchanged posts in the past I do respect your views... Just a critique of what you (and others in the past) wrote...
> 
> For those who (to paraphrase Krismiss...) "already know how I feel" about this subject..". read my post again. I never said I'm against "feederism" (however it is described) All I am saying here is, try thinking outside of the box for once... Try to explore the whole aspect of "feederism" and weight gain a bit more than the usual two step process of that we always seem to hear about... One - feed partner to immobility followed by... Two - masterbate... and if you are really kinky, have your partner pee or shit on you... (I know... this is an exaggeration...)
> 
> ...



Fair enough Stan, you go outside the box first. Tell us what happens at your house in your bedroom with your wife. We're ready. You know, maybe we don't want to go outside the box. And the idea that we should lose our inhibitions and cast aside what others might supposedly think is just... flabbergasting. How about you give up yours first. Put all your stuff out on front street for people to gasp and pass judgment on. They will. Sexuality in general is a "teehee-taboo" thing isn this culture. Everyone has their hennish biddies and finger waggers who find such things vulgar or what have you. You don't leave the door open to your bedroom for the same reason we wont. We'll go as far as what is comfortable for us and no farther. Thanks for bowing out though, we appreciate it.


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 10, 2009)

Russ2d said:


> Hey I think my general definitons over on the thread I started we're pretty damn good  I got my vote



I did see where you were going with that post. I just think as thatgirl08 said, there is such a variation of desires and fantasies that it's really difficult to get to specific with some words.

Like you're a feeder with specific desires to have a partner gain a lot of weight. I'm a feeder too, and i like fat guys, BUT if a partner did not want to gain any weight or only gain a small amount, I'd still enjoy doing feeding sessions maybe only like once a week or once a month. I can also enjoy the fantasy aspect of it, engage in phone sex with a partner I know is into it, etc.

msbard said she's into being fed but it's just about 'being fed' and not the food. A close friend of mine who's a feeder is only into being fed really fattening things because part of his fetish is gaining a large amount of weight and enjoying the outcome of gaining such as outgrown clothes and being unable to go to certain places because he's gotten too big.


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 10, 2009)

> Same old house of eggshells LoveBHMS... Everybody is always so easily offended. It's sort of like when Stan on SouthPark joined a group of Goths only to realize that the "non-conformists" were in fact just another group of conformists. Leave us alone... don't judge us... Well, if Krismiss' post is any indication, it seems like the "feeders" have already passed judgment on me. I'm here to "offend"... you "know how I feel about this subject"... Who is passing judgment here? If you are "offended" by someone trying to inject new ideas, than perhaps you aren't interested in hearing new ideas. And for those who don't want to be labeled, well... you are already labeled and in fact label yourselves...
> 
> If you think I am disrupting this "exploration" of feederism, than I'll bow out and let you carry on then. All I ask is that you read the statement of the Dimension Bash and take to heart... or just continue on as things have been done in the past.



No problemo Stan.

But here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to hop on over the the FA forum and start a thread geared towards heterosexual male FAs and ask them to start thinking outside the box. I'm going to mention that BHMs are very attractive and try injecting some new ideas by posting pictures of Kevin James and Jack Black and maybe a few offensive linemen from the NFL. 

For that matter, I'll toss in a few pictures of some gorgeous skinny women like Christy Turlington, Halle Berry, Megan Fox and maybe even some classics like Audrey Hepburn and insist that you explore a bit and think outside the box.

And for good measure I'll insist that you need to label yourselves a bit differently since the world at large is anti-fat and start thinking up more appropriate labels and public images for yourselves apart from 'fat admirer.'


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## RayanamiNGE (Jul 10, 2009)

Cant we all just pretend that no one is being mean or saying bad things, and go back to the smexy feedee/feeder talk? 

View attachment IMAGINATION_by_RDCarneiro.jpg


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## Russ2d (Jul 10, 2009)

> I did see where you were going with that post. I just think as thatgirl08 said, there is such a variation of desires and fantasies that it's really difficult to get to specific with some words.



Yup, which is why I kept them very general. I think the pendulum swings both ways and we can be too against defining what's going on. Nothing is undefinable. As long as any well thought out list is general flexible updatable and unpressured I don't see a problem.



> Like you're a feeder with specific desires to have a partner gain a lot of weight. I'm a feeder too, and I like fat guys, BUT if a partner did not want to gain any weight or only gain a small amount, I'd still enjoy doing feeding sessions maybe only like once a week or once a month. I can also enjoy the fantasy aspect of it, engage in phone sex with a partner I know is into it, etc.



I do love the whole gain a lot of weight realm but If I'm with a girl who is already extremely fat, hopefully as fat as she can be :wubu:, then I am happy to once in a while 'maintain' her fat ( the ol' fatten em up and keep em there or keep em there if they're already fattened up- and we both have great fun doing it!)

The impression I get from some people about us is that they think we must feed our partners every day 3 times a day or we can't get off- hehe, now that would be a lot of work and very expensive


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## RayanamiNGE (Jul 10, 2009)

Russ2d said:


> I do love the whole gain a lot of weight realm but If I'm with a girl who is already extremely fat, hopefully as fat as she can be :wubu:, then I am happy to once in a while 'maintain' her fat ( the ol' fatten em up and keep em there or keep em there if they're already fattened up- and we both have great fun doing it!)
> 
> The impression I get from some people about us is that they think we must feed our partners every day 3 times a day or we can't get off- hehe, now that would be a lot of work and very expensive



I pray for your success bro, and I can't wait to hear your stories! Also, please take pics for the rest of us ^.^


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jul 10, 2009)

Russ2d said:


> How about some more fantasy talk for the thread?
> 
> My first fantasy -ahhh the one where I kidnap and force feed a girl, stuffing her, with maybe her not wanting it at first but then perhaps loving it later; fattening her up into a big fluffy sex doll where she becomes so fat and soft that any part of her can get me off...
> 
> ...


...because she knows you're really into it and enjoys blissfully "torturing" you and thinks YOU don't know SHE knows? And then one days she says "fuck waiting for a prince" and just bangs the shit out of you? 

...

I'll take "right up my alley" for $100, Alex.


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## SoVerySoft (Jul 11, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> Well as far as being too small I don't usually feel that way due to my natural size. Not unless the guy is going on and on about Teighlor of some such thing but then I'd be kicking him out of my house. But the food part, yes o' plenty. Especially now that I'm older. I can't put away food anymore like I used to. I go to a reastaurant and by the time I've finished eating the complimentary bread in the beginning I can barely put a dent in my food. During erotic sessions most of the food gets wasted ...I hated the idea that he would see all the food there and it would be a letdown in some way....
> 
> ...I do go through periods though when it seems I can't get full. Nothing satisfies and I can't stop eating. I think everybody (possibly?) has moments like that and it's at that time I think, "Damn!" I wish I had a partner I could share this with 'coz I'm show-offy that way and I know he would looooooooove this...



I could have written this word for word.


----------



## Duniwin (Jul 11, 2009)

fa_man_stan said:


> All I am saying here is, try thinking outside of the box for once... Try to explore the whole aspect of "feederism" and weight gain a bit more than the usual two step process of that we always seem to hear about... One - feed partner to immobility followed by... Two - masterbate...



I'm confused, haven't we been exploring feederism in this thread? Many people have already expressed a *diversity of interests, fantasy, and views* that involve food and weight gain.

Many feedees have come forward and shared their fantasies, which is great. Many other people have shared their interests and views. 

Personally, I sometimes like to reverse fantasize: to trace my partner's stretch marks and rolls and imagine the weight gain that brought them to their current size.

There are many things we are talking about that are outside the box of "immobility followed by masturbation," but this thread *is *for talking about the feeder / feedee lifestyle. This thread is but a part of the diversity at the bash.



> If you think I am disrupting this "exploration" of feederism, than I'll bow out and let you carry on then. All I ask is that you read the statement of the Dimension Bash and take to heart... or just continue on as things have been done in the past.



There are other threads for the other aspects of the Dimensions Bash, this thread is not trying to contain all the diversity of the Bash or the forums.
The diversity of interests, fantasy, and views wasn't meant to be contained in this one thread.
Perhaps you could start another thread to increase the diversity of the forums?


----------



## thatgirl08 (Jul 11, 2009)

Cors said:


> I have a question for feedees.
> 
> Have you ever felt insecure about your current size ("OMG I am so small" or "my partner thinks I am too small") during the fantasy or act _despite arousal_?
> 
> ...



I've said the words "I am so small" during the act but not coming from an insecurity standpoint but rather just trying to emphasize how much bigger 
"I'm going to get" (quotations because it's something I have said/would say but don't really mean.) Also, I've never felt that outside of a sexual situation because despite the fact that I would like to get larger (eventually) I don't think I'm small at all.. the reality of my size is a little too prevalent in my life for me to feel that way. 

However, I have worried that I am too small for my partner. Although 350 would be HUGE for a non-FA not all FA's, especially feeders, consider that to be large.. which I think is rather annoying because I feel as though some try to downplay the negatives of being this size and even larger and can also make me feel inadequate. Honestly, the hottest thing my (feeder) boyfriend has said to me thus far into our relationship was "..you're just so big" while wrapping his arms around me. 

Despite being in a sexual situation with someone I have felt upset at the things they have said to me. I know it sounds kind of stupid but it's like, if the only time I hear anything about my size is when they're telling me I'm too small and they're going to fatten me up I start to worry that maybe I really am too small for them. It makes me insecure if that's all I ever hear.. if that makes sense. 

When it comes to eating, I have definitely felt insecure. Part of the reason for this I think is that too many feeders have unrealistic expectations regarding how much is possible for a girl to eat. I mentioned this in another thread and got lots of angry responses like NO WE DON'T SOME GIRLS CAN EAT AN ENTIRE SHEET CAKE. Okay, yes.. SOME girls.. but very, very, very few. I, for one, can't. I eat a lot more than most of the girls I know but I can't eat an entire sheet cake or 3 large pizzas or an entire freezer of ice cream. Like, I'll eat something and feel stuffed and turned on, but yet the feeder will be disappointed like.. that's it? And I'm like.. THAT'S IT? I JUST ATE LIKE 3 THOUSAND CALORIES or whatever.. but they (general they) expect me to eat like 14,000 calories per meal because they read it in a weightgain story. This isn't all, or even most, feeders but I think this is a trap a lot of the young/inexperienced ones fall into and it does cause some insecurity for the feedee (me) and also a lot of disappointment. It's hotter to go in with low expectations and then get surprised when she finishes the nine inch cake from a box mix you made for her. It's better that way, I promise.


----------



## Weeze (Jul 11, 2009)

Duniwin said:


> I'm confused, haven't we been exploring feederism in this thread? Many people have already expressed a *diversity of interests, fantasy, and views* that involve food and weight gain.
> 
> Many feedees have come forward and shared their fantasies, which is great. Many other people have shared their interests and views.
> 
> ...



Thanks  This is, seriously, what I wanted to say but I had NO idea how to word it and sound... coherent. 
This thread is about feeding. Talking about feeding is, um what it's here for.


----------



## Chef (Jul 12, 2009)

The thread thus far: No Labels. No Analysis. Life experiences and fantasies greatly appreciated. 

I'm a former feedee/foodee that was recently diagnosed type II diabetes with diabetic neuropathy. In the quest to get my BG under control (I was tested 400+ the first time), my HUGE appetite and love for food has dimished greatly. So I'm living vicariously through the stuffing and "can't get enough" experiences. Please Please don't ever end this thread.

I also gave rep early to alot of you guys, and I have to spread it around now.


----------



## Chef (Jul 12, 2009)

Cors said:


> I have a question for feedees.
> 
> Have you ever felt insecure about your current size ("OMG I am so small" or "my partner thinks I am too small") during the fantasy or act _despite arousal_?
> 
> ...



Early on, reaching my gain goals were easier, but I started hitting plateaus that I could not get past. And eventually, despite my convictions I started losing the weight I desperately wanted to keep. (of course, we all know the rest of that story)


----------



## Chef (Jul 12, 2009)

I was a junk food junkie. I would go out for lunch and spend too much time trying to decide if I wanted Arby's for lunch.. or Wendy's.. or Taco Hell.. It later became a huge turn-on for me when I realized that lunch breaks didn't have to be only one meal. I could have a Arbys/Wendys/Sbarro lunch break.  (granted, I was rolling in the $$$ and I could take long breaks without upsetting the client)


----------



## Weeze (Jul 15, 2009)

Since i'm currently unable to move around much on my own, i've been laying on a stack of mattresses in our first-floor family room eating chocolate ice cream for most of today and the past few days.

I figure this was a fun fact with which to bump this thread


----------



## Nicholas Ray (Jul 15, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> Honestly, the hottest thing my (feeder) boyfriend has said to me thus far into our relationship was "..you're just so big" while wrapping his arms around me.



This is VERY familiar.

I'm 6' 135 lbs., my former girlfriend is 5'11" 285 lbs. and one time when I was literally begging for breath under her I cried out something in the moment like "Oh God, help me, she's so big!"

Her eyes went from being semi-interested to flashing and fixed upon me, with a kind of pure lust I'd never seen before. From then on, I literally felt like a tiny skeleton in the arms of a giantess. It was incredibly intense sex.

So, I think there's something true about what you say, that a girl SO MUCH larger than her boy can both dictate terms and deliver incredible pleasure. But the guy has to vocalize his feelings, I think.


----------



## RayanamiNGE (Jul 15, 2009)

krismiss said:


> Since i'm currently unable to move around much on my own, i've been laying on a stack of mattresses in our first-floor family room eating chocolate ice cream for most of today and the past few days.
> 
> I figure this was a fun fact with which to bump this thread




Welllll, i guess I should come bring you some more food, eh?


----------



## joswitch (Jul 16, 2009)

Ivy said:


> i wasn't at the bash, so obviously i did not attend the workshop.
> 
> anyway, re: too full for sex
> 
> ...



Oooh! that's such a useful site! Kudos to Ivy and Cors!

And just to say - from experience the "Butterfly" (I just found out the name and I've been using it for years!) - http://www.sexinfo101.com/sp_butterfly.shtml
is a position that has been very successful for me and gfs when gf is verrry full indeed! HOTT! :blush:

Ummm... is also a good position to be in if you really want to go to town with the cunnilingus (whether gf is full or not... oh and - tip - kneel on a pillow!) IMExperience cos you don't get jaw cramp and your hands are free to do all kinds of things... hope that's not TMI....


----------



## thatgirl08 (Jul 16, 2009)

joswitch said:


> Oooh! that's such a useful site! Kudos to Ivy and Cors!
> 
> And just to say - from experience the "Butterfly" (I just found out the name and I've been using it for years!) - http://www.sexinfo101.com/sp_butterfly.shtml
> is a position that has been very successful for me and gfs when gf is verrry full indeed! HOTT! :blush:
> ...



ooh I like that. I think my bed is too high though.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Jul 16, 2009)

joswitch said:


> Oooh! that's such a useful site! Kudos to Ivy and Cors!
> 
> And just to say - from experience the "Butterfly" (I just found out the name and I've been using it for years!) - http://www.sexinfo101.com/sp_butterfly.shtml
> is a position that has been very successful for me and gfs when gf is verrry full indeed! HOTT! :blush:
> ...



Thanks joswitch! I've actually used that position also but it was on the couch. I was trying to find that position but was too busy looking for a couch in the picture.  My head was raised somewhat due to the back of the couch so it made things much more comfortable than the one shown in the link. Lying flat on my back on the bed like that would be an ache festival for my back. Pillows would help I suppose but the couch was much more supportive and comfortable for me.


----------



## Weeze (Jul 16, 2009)

You know... This thread is full of good information. I just need someone to practice with 

But yeah. I like where this is going. Wasn't sure at first but, i sorta think this should be a sticky somewhere.


----------



## D_A_Bunny (Jul 16, 2009)

krismiss said:


> i sorta think this should be a sticky somewhere.



"Heh, heh, she said *sticky*!" said in best Beavis and Butthead voice.


----------



## Weeze (Jul 16, 2009)

D_A_Bunny said:


> "Heh, heh, she said *sticky*!" said in best Beavis and Butthead voice.





keep it up, woman.


----------



## joswitch (Jul 16, 2009)

LoveBHMS said:


> That's interesting because i have felt just the opposite, like the fetishists are second class citizens. Maybe part of that is a defensiveness on the part of the non-fetishists who are resentful that Dims is seen as too feederism oriented.
> 
> This discussion always reminds me of one that i had on another board i used to frequent that was for Childfree by Choice. At one point, a poster recommended a convention or meetup, and the webmaster said it would not work for the same reason that having a convention of customers who buy the same brand of shampoo would not work---they have nothing else in common.



Which is probably why the music at "fat folks and admirers" parties is much with the suckage - a lot like at wedding receptions! 



> To some degree, factions of people here have nothing whatsoever in common. If you come here because you're fat and unhappy about airline seating and Old Navy's return policy, you are light years away from somebody who comes here because they are trying to figure out why they masturbate to fantasies about funnel feeding a partner. If you're a male who comes here because you're sexually aroused by fat women, you're light years away from a female feeder. If you are here to promote a paysite which is simply a business to you, you probably dont' care about anything in the Lounge along the lines of "Open Letters" or "Trivia Questions."


----------



## joswitch (Jul 16, 2009)

D_A_Bunny said:


> OK. Let's have a brief intermission, please.
> 
> As stated in the beginning of this thread, it could go one of two ways. The let's pick this thing apart and put the labels on it (kinda like high school, huh?) or the "Hey, you know what I like?" or "this is something I want to try." way.
> 
> I do have two requests based on the most recent posts, requests that I hope I can explain. Please do not state the words - "tie up and funnel feed", unless you have done it or are actually planning to, yourself or to a willing partner. I request this, because that is the FACE of feederism right now. And quite frankly I think we are in need of a new slogan and visual.



Okayz.

Here's one - rarely talked about in the context of erotic/sexual feeding... but it's there, certainly for me, and I suspect for a lot of other feeders too (regardless of how much/llittle/if at all weight gain that feeder might desire). 
And this is from real life, by the way...

It's there in the food-flirting foreplay and it's there at the height of sex, when - in a moment's pause - I kiss a piece of chocolate from my mouth into my lover's mouth....

It's there when I put in the money, time and effort shopping, carrying home and cooking a wonderful, tasty meal for my lover, that I'd never be arsed to cook for myself....

There's *love* in feeding.

That pasta'n'spinach'n'tuna'n'feta cheese that I cooked? - I put my love into that... It's only one manifestation of my love (there's plenty others, too). But there's love in it.....

There's nurturing... With this I nourish.... There's something so deeply, primitively satisfying in sharing food with someone you really, genuinely love..
(I know guys are not supposed to want to nurture, but I think that's BS.)

And here's where things get a little murkier, a bit more mixed-in-with-the-lust motives for me -

There's the transfomative...
Let's say, hell let's just pretend! that the food I provide helps maintain or add to, (maybe just an ounce) my lover's body... There's the sense that my feelings of love have become, even a little - part of my lover... 
Or that she has become wrapped up in my love... 
And yes, maybe if she gains a significant amount of weight - perhaps a little "restrained" by my love (that's my dom side peeking out there) ...
We are connected in a very fundamental way -

Intent.
Emotion.
Dragged out from the heart and made real.
Made flesh.
Undeniable witness.
Always with her.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Jul 16, 2009)

joswitch said:


> Okayz.
> 
> Here's one - rarely talked about in the context of erotic/sexual feeding... but it's there, certainly for me, and I suspect for a lot of other feeders too (regardless of how much/llittle/if at all weight gain that feeder might desire).
> And this is from real life, by the way...
> ...



Wow! :smitten:


----------



## joswitch (Jul 16, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> ooh I like that. I think my bed is too high though.



Lolz! And that's why I build/mod my own furniture! 

Um... can also work with bf standing up, if bed very high...
Or if in that middle ground, a big old block of solid foam to kneel on just *slipped* under the bed there, just in case....


----------



## joswitch (Jul 16, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> Thanks joswitch! I've actually used that position also but it was on the couch. I was trying to find that position but was too busy looking for a couch in the picture.  My head was raised somewhat due to the back of the couch so it made things much more comfortable than the one shown in the link. Lying flat on my back on the bed like that would be an ache festival for my back. Pillows would help I suppose but the couch was much more supportive and comfortable for me.



Totally - you gotta get yourself comfortable!


----------



## joswitch (Jul 16, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> Wow! :smitten:



:blush: t'anks

one of the things that really surprised me in my last LTR was how much I really, really missed the "nurturing" aspect of cooking for my lover (my ex was on one of those extreme diets for the whole relationship, still is...)... 

And even though I'm sure it'd lose me my lifetime membership of the "League of Sinister Feeders" (JOKE! is joke! NOFLAME! no flame! *ducks*) I actually found myself making her those goddamn  !!diet-soups!! that were basically the only things she would eat... cos y'know then I could stir it properly and maybe put some like herbs or pepper in there to make it tasty.... and we could y'know... actually *share a meal together.*... *actualtears*  
I know that seems kinda pathetic, but it really mattered to me, y'know...???
anybody?


----------



## LillyBBBW (Jul 16, 2009)

joswitch said:


> :blush: t'anks
> 
> one of the things that really surprised me in my last LTR was how much I really, really missed the "nurturing" aspect of cooking for my lover (my ex was on one of those extreme diets for the whole relationship, still is...)...
> 
> ...



I'm in and out of diets all the time for one reason or another. I have a medical condition that I choose to control with by mixing up my diet rather than the wretched drugs they usually prescribe for it. It has worked for me for close to 20 years now. Every once in a while I go on a carb fast which allows me to continue to eat lots and feel full. No soup for me! <------- (Heehee, Seinfeld refference )

I figured this could work yet the only feeder I ever dated hated the idea. *shrugs* I don't know, he was vehemently against diets that cut out whole food groups and whatnot. He was a jock and gave me such a hard time.


----------



## D_A_Bunny (Jul 16, 2009)

joswitch said:


> Okayz.
> 
> Here's one - rarely talked about in the context of erotic/sexual feeding... but it's there, certainly for me, and I suspect for a lot of other feeders too (regardless of how much/llittle/if at all weight gain that feeder might desire).
> And this is from real life, by the way...
> ...



Except for the part about putting chocolate in his mouth and then giving it to me (cuz he drinks a beer at nite and eeew, don't make my chocolate taste yucky), my husband could have probably written this word for word. 

He definitely nurtures thru food. And he also likes to gather, prepare, and serve the food. I, of course, think this is one of his many wonderful qualities.

This whole thing that you have written just makes me happy.


----------



## joswitch (Jul 16, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> I'm in and out of diets all the time for one reason or another. I have a medical condition that I choose to control with by mixing up my diet rather than the wretched drugs they usually prescribe for it. It has worked for me for close to 20 years now. Every once in a while I go on a carb fast which allows me to continue to eat lots and feel full. No soup for me! <------- (Heehee, Seinfeld refference )
> 
> I figured this could work yet the only feeder I ever dated hated the idea. *shrugs* I don't know, he was vehemently against diets that cut out whole food groups and whatnot. He was a jock and gave me such a hard time.



Sure there's nutritional principles and such, but everyone's milage varies, and hey if you've found a strategy that works for you and helps keep you healthy - all to the good! particularly if allows you to avoid prescription drugs!

(Not wanting to turn this into a "whines about diets" thread... but there's diets and there's DIETS... y'know? like the DIET I was talking about above - EX2-THE-REME!!! like halving-bodyweight in a year extreme...)


----------



## joswitch (Jul 16, 2009)

D_A_Bunny said:


> Except for the part about putting chocolate in his mouth and then giving it to me (cuz he drinks a beer at nite and eeew, don't make my chocolate taste yucky), my husband could have probably written this word for word.
> 
> He definitely nurtures thru food. And he also likes to gather, prepare, and serve the food. I, of course, think this is one of his many wonderful qualities.
> 
> This whole thing that you have written just makes me happy.



Props to your hubby! 

I was thinking of pulling that post out and sticking it up as a new thread "Feeding as Love" y'know, just cos I hear it so rarely mentioned on tha webs and yet I feel it's a big part of the whole picture and could maybe do with more exposure??


----------



## D_A_Bunny (Jul 16, 2009)

joswitch said:


> Props to your hubby!
> 
> I was thinking of pulling that post out and sticking it up as a new thread "Feeding as Love" y'know, just cos I hear it so rarely mentioned on tha webs and yet I feel it's a big part of the whole picture and could maybe do with more exposure??



Yes, this is exactly the exposure that I was personally hoping for. Thank you for posting it in a way that makes so much sense and is so easy to understand.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Jul 16, 2009)

joswitch said:


> Sure there's nutritional principles and such, but everyone's milage varies, and hey if you've found a strategy that works for you and helps keep you healthy - all to the good! particularly if allows you to avoid prescription drugs!
> 
> (Not wanting to turn this into a "whines about diets" thread... but there's diets and there's DIETS... y'know? like the DIET I was talking about above - EX2-THE-REME!!! like halving-bodyweight in a year extreme...)



Yeah I've been sold that snake oil before. Didn't work for me on many levels.


----------



## Isa (Jul 16, 2009)

joswitch said:


> Okayz.
> 
> Here's one - rarely talked about in the context of erotic/sexual feeding... but it's there, certainly for me, and I suspect for a lot of other feeders too (regardless of how much/llittle/if at all weight gain that feeder might desire).
> And this is from real life, by the way...
> ...



One of the few times Ive seen the lifestyle described with such grace. As someone not into it, reading this helped me understand what others see in the act.


----------



## Carrie (Jul 16, 2009)

Isa said:


> One of the few times Ive seen the lifestyle described with such grace. As someone not into it, reading this helped me understand what others see in the act.


Same here. Excellent, eye-opening post by joswitch. Really enjoying reading this thread in general!


----------



## Eclectic_Girl (Jul 17, 2009)

Isa said:


> One of the few times Ive seen the lifestyle described with such grace. As someone not into it, reading this helped me understand what others see in the act.





Carrie said:


> Same here. Excellent, eye-opening post by joswitch. Really enjoying reading this thread in general!



Double-ditto. Very romantic.

Off to teach my boyfriend how to cook...


----------



## Duniwin (Jul 18, 2009)

Eclectic_Girl said:


> Double-ditto. Very romantic.
> 
> Off to teach my boyfriend how to cook...



Good luck. Others have tried and failed.  I'm an ok cook if I'm following directions, and can survive on my own, but I don't really get emotionally involved in the process of creating food.

I think it's important to know that not all people with feeder fantasies are necessarily good cooks. Cooking is a skill, and a passion. I have some skill, but not much passion for cooking.


----------



## KHayes666 (Jul 18, 2009)

Duniwin said:


> Good luck. Others have tried and failed.  I'm an ok cook if I'm following directions, and can survive on my own, but I don't really get emotionally involved in the process of creating food.
> 
> I think it's important to know that not all people with feeder fantasies are necessarily good cooks. Cooking is a skill, and a passion. I have some skill, but not much passion for cooking.



Heh, glad to know I'm not the only inept cook in the community lol


----------



## Weeze (Jul 18, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> Heh, glad to know I'm not the only inept cook in the community lol



haha. a couple guys admit to not being great at cooking.
I only require a guy with a set of car keys and directions to dunkin donuts.


----------



## KHayes666 (Jul 18, 2009)

krismiss said:


> haha. a couple guys admit to not being great at cooking.
> I only require a guy with a set of car keys and directions to dunkin donuts.



now THAT I can do....*jingles keys in front of you* u ready? lol ;-)


----------



## Weeze (Jul 18, 2009)

Haha. My parents are out for the day so my mom set me up with granola bars, taco bell, leftover pizza and a cooler full of drinks. 
I love that woman. I am like... living feedee fantasy right now... minus the percoset.


----------



## D_A_Bunny (Jul 18, 2009)

Duniwin said:


> I think it's important to know that not all people with feeder fantasies are necessarily good cooks.



You might want to try working on presentation skills then. As in, buy some tidbits that you know she likes and then arrange them attractively on a platter or set of dishes and place them on the table or a tray. Then you present them to her. Trust me, it works!


----------



## Eclectic_Girl (Jul 18, 2009)

Yeah, that time-intensive cooking is not my strong suit either, so it looks like take-out, honey. 

Although the tray-of-tidbits idea sounds fabulous!


----------



## CleverBomb (Jul 18, 2009)

krismiss said:


> haha. a couple guys admit to not being great at cooking.
> I only require a guy with a set of car keys and directions to dunkin donuts.


Sprint ad: Donuts in SPAAAAACE!

-Rusty
(Palm Pre fan)


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Jul 19, 2009)

Speak for yourself boys. I can whip up a Dwarven Nut Pie that's a big hit at family Thanksgiving dinners, I can do all sorts of stuff with angel hair pasta, and I make fine welsh rarebit. ^.~


----------



## Paquito (Jul 19, 2009)

First off, subscribing to this thread, and by the grace of God may it never end. I seriously haven't felt that I'd be accepted by so many people just like me in a long time.

This, is quoted because it's freakin epic:



LillyBBBW said:


> *takes deep breath*
> 
> Ok. What I like most likely won't be your cup of tea D_A_Bunny. I've only ever shared this with ONE person and I threatended to kill him with papercuts if he ever told. I guess I can take the bounty off his head now.
> 
> ...



Will be back later, too too many fantasies swimming in my head to write them down. If I started, my post would probably go on for days (to the point where I wouldn't even have the patience to read it.)

I love you guys :wubu:

Almost as much as my doughnuts.

Almost.


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## KHayes666 (Jul 19, 2009)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> Speak for yourself boys. I can whip up a Dwarven Nut Pie that's a big hit at family Thanksgiving dinners, I can do all sorts of stuff with angel hair pasta, and I make fine welsh rarebit. ^.~



*throws something at you*

I'm jealous......lol


----------



## OneWickedAngel (Jul 19, 2009)

joswitch said:


> Okayz.
> 
> Here's one - rarely talked about in the context of erotic/sexual feeding... but it's there, certainly for me, and I suspect for a lot of other feeders too (regardless of how much/llittle/if at all weight gain that feeder might desire).
> And this is from real life, by the way...
> ...



:smitten: DAAAAMN! Seriously, Jos; It can't be much better written than this! :smitten:


----------



## OneWickedAngel (Jul 19, 2009)

D_A_Bunny said:


> Except for the part about putting chocolate in his mouth and then giving it to me (cuz he drinks a beer at nite and eeew, don't make my chocolate taste yucky), my husband could have probably written this word for word.
> 
> He definitely nurtures thru food. And he also likes to gather, prepare, and serve the food. I, of course, think this is one of his many wonderful qualities.
> 
> This whole thing that you have written just makes me happy.



:bow: To you and Larry.


----------



## joswitch (Jul 19, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> Heh, glad to know I'm not the only inept cook in the community lol



KHayes and Duniwin - sorry if my post came across as overly "cooking" oriented!
(I've been cooking since I was 11 and I was a short-order chef for a while, too)

I think that the "hunting/gathering/presenting" part - as DABunny (hope I got your handle right!) mentioned - that's involved even in bringing pre-prepped food to your lover can be a means of expressing those same emotions! :bow:

N.B.
There was a thread on FF awhile back where a lot of the male FAs when asked why they thought they were feeders cited some sort of "provider/hero" complex...


----------



## joswitch (Jul 19, 2009)

OneWickedAngel said:


> :smitten: DAAAAMN! Seriously, Jos; It can't be much better written than this! :smitten:



T'anks!:blush:


----------



## joswitch (Jul 19, 2009)

> *Originally Posted by LillyBBBW*
> *takes deep breath*
> 
> Ok. What I like most likely won't be your cup of tea D_A_Bunny. I've only ever shared this with ONE person and I threatended to kill him with papercuts if he ever told. I guess I can take the bounty off his head now.
> ...



By the way... this? SO HOTT!!!!


----------



## OneWickedAngel (Jul 19, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> *takes deep breath*
> 
> Ok. What I like most likely won't be your cup of tea D_A_Bunny. I've only ever shared this with ONE person and I threatended to kill him with papercuts if he ever told. I guess I can take the bounty off his head now.
> 
> ...



Wow... Run away if you want woman, but damn! You have just worded one of my favorite fantasies. You have serious rep coming as soon as I can give some to you again.


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## Jay West Coast (Jul 27, 2009)

I don't know if this counts as reviving a necro'd thread, but I want to say that I really enjoyed reading this thread. 

Even though I have been in a relationship with someone who had her own gainer/feedee "kink", I think that having women speak transparently about this is informative for a lot of people, including myself. 

In echoing ThatGirl08, I think its super important for people in this community to hear about how this can exist in relationships in sane, constructive ways that I'm even non-feeders can each relate to on some level. 

Good job guys. I'm glad I stumbled on this thread!


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## Duniwin (Aug 1, 2009)

Jay West Coast said:


> I don't know if this counts as reviving a necro'd thread, but I want to say that I really enjoyed reading this thread.
> 
> Even though I have been in a relationship with someone who had her own gainer/feedee "kink", I think that having women speak transparently about this is informative for a lot of people, including myself.
> 
> ...



Thanks Jay. I think it's important for everyone to speak transparently about this subject, so that everyone is aware of the spectrum of interests and activities that can fall under the umbrella of feeder/feedee sexuality.


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## joswitch (Aug 3, 2009)

Here's a link to a short fictional story I found online many years back... which pulls together strands of FA / foodie and feeding, but especially feeding and romance. Relatively unusually I think - this story takes the time to develop the characters involved and their *feelings* - positive and negative, in both personal and social contexts - from the first-person feedee perspective... it also includes some of the cooking /creativity as love aspect I was talking about upthread... and perhaps describes an arc that *might* be part of a realistic and sustainable development of such a relationship in real life... I particularly like how the two characters take their time and savour the sensuality of feeding together... Fair warning! SEX! oh and some of the dialogue attributed to the supposedly Scots fella in it is a wee bit hokey.... but overall I think it's kickass XD
http://www.erotica-readers.com/GD/TC-EF/Flesh.htm
Your thoughts on this would be interesting folks!


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## bbwildrose (Aug 3, 2009)

Oh wow, that was so good, I have GOT to try that one day!


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