# Bbw, What do you wish you had the Courage to do?



## aztecprinc3ss (Jun 22, 2012)

Fellow BBw, What did you wish you had the courage to do? What is keeping you from accomplishing it?

I wish I had the courage to keep looking for a job even after prospective employer turns me down time after time because of my weight impediment. It just gets harder each time I have to go back out there. People might think me paranoid in thinking that, but I've overheard them having conversations about said impediment.


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## CorinaJade (Jun 22, 2012)

I know the feeling, i've had the exact same worries when looking for work. It's not nice to feel like you are judged and not hired for being seen as "less worthy for the job" just for being overweight. It's wrong.

I wish i could go on themepark rides without fearing that i'll break the whole thing. I know that the prospect is hhhhiiiiiiiighly unlikely, but i can't stop thinking that if i get on one, it's going to creak or something underneath me and i'll somehow result in killing a few dozen people by accident.


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## Myn (Jun 22, 2012)

Date.

Although, it's not just the weight stopping me. I'm shy apart from that, and I pretty much went straight into marrying my very first boyfriend that I met on the internet, so I have no conception of how dating actually works. Plus I'm a single parent. And I have the sneaking suspicion that I might be a snob and/or high maintenance.

But, yeah. The thought of dating scares the crap out of me.

And I feel your pain about the job thing. I thank my lucky stars that I didn't have to do rounds of interviews before getting hired, because I would've keeled over from either nerves or mindboggling amounts of comfort eating.


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## aztecprinc3ss (Jun 22, 2012)

It seems that we all share some of the same fears when it comes to our weight, how do you think we can overcome them?


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## Tracy (Jun 22, 2012)

What do you wish you had the Courage to do? To break up with my boyfriend....I feel that I can't because my son really likes him...first guy I have really dated that I brought into his life. I'm afraid I will crush them both...but I can't go on much longer with how things have been.


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## LinathSuru (Jun 22, 2012)

Hmm. Courage. I've done most things I'm afraid of at this point... From telling my mom that I like being fat, to telling my boss my coworkers were making racist and offensive comments, to going out in a summer dress that showed off my big, fat thighs.

I wish I had more courage about clothing. About wearing spaghetti straps and bikinis in public. But it's one small step at a time.

That's what you can do. Take the small steps. If you're confronted with a big problem look at the smallest part of the solution you can find, and start there. Do it despite your fear. Do it despite discomfort. Just be sure you don't go overboard.

I've asked potential employers before what their biggest concern about me was after an interview. Sometimes they've invited me to field their concerns as questions and give examples that 'defend' my abilities.

As far as the ones who judge you by your weight. Probably the only thing you can hope to do to impact them is to walk into an interview feeling positive about yourself, feeling confident about your abilities, and letting them see that you're a confident person.

It's not easy, but it does show.

I also know it's not easy to stay positive after rejection after rejection. I've never been through that personally, but I've watched my husband go through it. My dad, my mom. 

Whatever happens remind yourself that a big part of landing a job is in fact getting lucky. Lucky enough to know the right people. Lucky enough to have the right impact. Lucky enough to catch the hiring manager in a good mood.

Create part of your luck though. Send old-fashioned, hand written thank yous. Call to follow up after interviews (and to get the address to send the thank yous to).

There's no guarantee being positive, confident, informed, and thorough will get you a job, but hey.. The probability of that job coming in probably rise significantly when those things are taken into account.

Good luck building your confidence and courage, Ladies. 'Tis certainly not an easy feat, but I promise you it is one you can manage.


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## CorinaJade (Jun 23, 2012)

I find the biggest issue, at least for me, was developing a sense of self worth to get over public fears, or dating fears. I used to not feel like i was worth being with, or that people looked at me as different or wrong. 

I know that with workplaces hiring people there are prejudices held because statistically larger people supposedly take more sick days off work (i don't know how ACURATE these statistics are, but employers certainly pay attention to them) so we're viewed as sickly or a liability and not hired. As well as that, particularly for women, attraction plays a large part in whether or not we're hired. This would be especially true in professions that require customer interaction etc. where you are like "the face" of the company. But then, if you have a lot of confidence going into an interview, that can counteract things, and not all employers will have that bias. I suppose that's how i managed to get a job as a secretary for a doctors office a few years ago. It was a fun job, and i felt a sense of pride beating out all the other skinny candidates ^.^

When it comes to dating, that again seems to be a confidence thing. I think you need to work on getting to a place where you feel happy with who YOU are and where you are going before truely searching for that special someone, otherwise you will always question what it is that person sees in you and be forever insecure. Work towards your own goals, wear the clothing that makes you feel sexy or good about yourself and learn that your weight isn't the sole thing that defines who you are.

There are always going to be some things that weight will prevent bigger girls from doing, like fitting into booths at food places (which are totally not made for big round butts), or comfortably sitting in movie theatre chairs, and we'll always have people making fun of us, because that's what people do. But i think as long as you have the self confidence, or at least are comfortable with who you are, those things are very small, or even laughable. Small movie theatre chairs just mean i get to squish up even closer to my man during the movie ^.^


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## toni (Jun 25, 2012)

I know there are jerks out there but confidence, personality and knowledge go a long way. Two years ago I applied for a position within my company. The position offered a better schedule and a closer work location. It was perfect. The only problem was that it was working for the sales manager. *cringe* When I think sales, I think shallow jerks in suits. I look the guy up on our company directory and he fits the description. The day of my interview I was walking towards the building and my guts were churning. I wanted to run back to my car but it was too late. Not showing for a job interview would black list me with the recruiter. I sucked it up and walked in. I went to the suited jerk's office and he was SO mean. The recruiter never told him I had an appointment. He said he had already interviewed 50 people and was done. He barked that I could sit and wait until he found time for me. I smiled and said great, I will be right here. The whole time I was kicking myself for even showing. I sat for 20 mins obsessing over my belly and make up. Still i didnt let it show. We got into his office and I won him over in 5 minutes. He dropped the shallow jerkiness and I SOLD him. I knew my stuff. I told him how I would make his office run better. When I walked out I told him this was divine intervention. A week later I got the job offer. A year in he hired me an assistant. She was going to be his pick for my job if I didn't come along. Guess what? She is tall and skinny (big surprise). My personality, confidence and knowledge won in the end. The jerky suit is now a sweetheart. He brags to people about my cupcake expeditions. I always come in to find some sort of dessert on my desk. I have to chase him away to get my work done. 
The moral of this long story is always be confident! You are the best! Your weight can't stop you. If someone holds it against you and doesn't hire you. Screw it! You wouldn't want to work there anyway.


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## KeiraBBW (Jun 26, 2012)

In reality, if you believe it or not, I am a figure skater. I love doing it but every time I go out and skate I get really nervous, because I have to wear a tight little dress, and I know everyone is commenting on how big I am, but I hope that I can over come that and have peple acually watch my skating. Sometimes I wonder if their oohs and ahs would be too much. I want the courage to just skate with confidence


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## KeiraBBW (Jun 26, 2012)

toni said:


> I know there are jerks out there but confidence, personality and knowledge go a long way.



It's not just that there are jerks out there, it's that society is set up to make fat people horrible ... almost a scapegoat


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## toni (Jun 26, 2012)

KeiraBBW said:


> It's not just that there are jerks out there, it's that society is set up to make fat people horrible ... almost a scapegoat



I know that. I believe in changing it one person at a time. I am sure my boss and his people never thought they would adore a sassy fatty but they do. It is not impossible to overcome the fat stigma.


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## Jello404 (Jun 28, 2012)

I wish I had the courage to act again. I studied acting in school for years and I'm pretty good...I wish I could handle the constant rejection and abuse that every actor faces. And I'll face worse just because I'm fat. I wish I was strong enough to out up with the constant rejection but I'm not. And it's not like acting pays well either. It's my passion but it's either feast or famine....and I don't have the courage to risk the famine so instead if doing what I want to do...I don't what barely pays the bills.


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## lottapounds (Jul 5, 2012)

I wish I had the courage to follow through with some of my dreams and goals. It is hard for me to finish what i start. i just don't have the tenacity and i am not sure why. 

Oh, and i wish i was courageous enough to bare my upper arms in public. People used to call them wings. But i am working on not caring what people think. I am starting with short sleeves and going from there.


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## CastingPearls (Jul 5, 2012)

lottapounds said:


> I wish I had the courage to follow through with some of my dreams and goals. It is hard for me to finish what i start. i just don't have the tenacity and i am not sure why.
> 
> Oh, and i wish i was courageous enough to bare my upper arms in public. People used to call them wings. But i am working on not caring what people think. I am starting with short sleeves and going from there.


Hey good luck with the right to bare arms! I have 'batwings' -very very heavy upper arms but it is too too hot to worry about it so I'm wearing a lot of tanks, camisoles and strapless tops and I don't care what anyone thinks. In fact, I've gotten a lot of admiring glances and compliments! DO IT!


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## willow173 (Jul 6, 2012)

I wish I had the confidence to accept compliments - I find it so hard to believe people would find me attractive as my exh told me I was fat and disgusting when I was literally half the woman I am now!
Im so scared that if I take a compliment it will then be thrown in my face and I will get laughed at. 
It kind of holds me back where dating or even going out is concerned.

*sigh* 

But thats why I am here, looking for real acceptance of me


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## lottapounds (Jul 6, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> Hey good luck with the right to bare arms! I have 'batwings' -very very heavy upper arms but it is too too hot to worry about it so I'm wearing a lot of tanks, camisoles and strapless tops and I don't care what anyone thinks. In fact, I've gotten a lot of admiring glances and compliments! DO IT!



Thanks for the encouragement! That is how mine are too, but i never considered the batwing angle. I love your sense of humor. Batwings seem like a superhero thing...i will try it and see if it makes me feel like a bat woman! :happy:


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## LinathSuru (Jul 7, 2012)

willow173 said:


> I wish I had the confidence to accept compliments - I find it so hard to believe people would find me attractive as my exh told me I was fat and disgusting when I was literally half the woman I am now!
> Im so scared that if I take a compliment it will then be thrown in my face and I will get laughed at.
> It kind of holds me back where dating or even going out is concerned.
> 
> ...



I know where you're coming from. When my current relationship started I couldn't take a compliment. My husband (boyfriend at that time) would tell me I was beautiful and I would immediately respond that I was ugly. I remember asking him if he was sure he really thought I was beautiful. If he was sure he wouldn't change his mind.

In the end it took me realizing that I was hurting him by refusing his compliments for me to be able to change. It hurt him that he couldn't make me feel beautiful... And the sad part was that I was in his way.

I had to decide to stop hating my appearance and I had to accept that he could find me attractive. It started with that. It wasn't an immediate transition to 'I'm beautiful' overnight, but a small step to 'Well, someone thinks I'm pretty'.

Good luck finding your way out of that state. It's a tough one, but it can be done. I'm proof of that much!


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## penguin (Jul 7, 2012)

Accepting compliments can be really hard, but the best way to handle it is to just say "thank you" and leave it at that. Don't disagree with them, because it's like you're invalidating their opinion. You don't need to say anything else, or try to justify it or explain it. Like if someone says your hair looks good, you don't need to say that you've just had it done, or try to wave off their compliment. Just say thank you with a smile, even if you don't agree.

Confidence is something that's okay to fake it until you make it. 

I used to keep my upper arms covered, because I hated them. But then summer rolled around and I was hot and wanting to wear pretty sleeveless dresses. And i thought 'fuck it!', because I should be able to wear what I want. I doubt anyone will be surprised that I have fat arms, given that the rest of me is fat. And if they don't like it, that's their problem, not mine. You need to feel good in your own skin, and put your happiness and confidence well ahead of the possible reactions strangers might have. You can do it!


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## tinkerbell (Jul 8, 2012)

penguin said:


> And if they don't like it, that's their problem, not mine. You need to feel good in your own skin, and put your happiness and confidence well ahead of the possible reactions strangers might have. You can do it!



:bow: Yes, so true! I find that the older I have gotten the less I care what other people think of what I look like. I wear what I want. Over the past 6 years I've really changed how I think about myself, and particularly the past 3 years, my confidence has grown. It's amazing what running has done for me  

I really have the courage to do anything I want, I dont let anything hold me back anymore!


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## Dominique (Oct 8, 2012)

sky diving


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## dharmabean (Oct 8, 2012)

Oh my goodness where to start?

I'm afraid of success. I know most people are afraid of failure, but, I'm the opposite. I started a novel about two years ago. I put it away about 8 months ago. The snippets people have read, they request "more, more, more." But, I'm blocked. I can't write anymore. I'm nervous about completing it. 

Lame huh.


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## Pandasaur (Oct 8, 2012)

To ask a guy on the date


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## BigBrwnSugar1 (Oct 9, 2012)

Pandasaur said:


> To ask a guy on the date



I second that!!!!!


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## KittyKitten (Oct 9, 2012)

Pandasaur said:


> To ask a guy on the date



I think most of us women have that issue. This is my philosophy, you know a man is really into you if he pursues you and asks you for a date. Let him do the planning on the first few dates. I don't believe in asking a man for a date. If he's not ready to take such action, then he's not really into me. That's just how I feel.

That said, I believe in making subtle signals towards him so he can get the hint. If he doesn't, well, he's not the one for me. I suggest online dating sites like Badoo where the men come to you if they are interested. Or you seek the guy you find interesting and say, "Hi". Don't look too desperate, men are smart and they smell that. I strongly recommend striking a conversation with him to get the ball rolling. Then let HIM ask you for a date. If he doesn't ask you out, he's not interested, point blank. 


I'm sorry I was raised by an outspoken and strong Nigerian father, so I tend to like men who take direct initiative. I dislike wish-washy men that blow hot and cold. Lack of passion is a turn off. Until you are deep into the relationship, then that is a good time to take the man out on a date for a treat. But early on, no, the man should take initiative, in my opinion.


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## Pandasaur (Oct 10, 2012)

I had the worst luck with guys on Badoo, I deleted my account a few weeks ago and I might start it up again one day when okcupid fails


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## sgageny (Oct 17, 2012)

Get over my anxieties around flying fat and just harden up and purchase the damn tickets already!


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## dharmabean (Oct 18, 2012)

Eat in public without feeling like I'm being judged.
Grocery shop for that matter, too.


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## Pandasaur (Oct 21, 2012)

Send a guy a message on a dating site. I tried once and was ignored so Im scared about trying. Im so silly for taking one thing so personal..


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## Victoria08 (Oct 26, 2012)

If I had come accross this thread 6-12 months ago, I would have been able to write a list (a really, really long list) about what I wish I was brave enough to do. Most of the things on that list would have been based on my complete lack of self confidence.
But that was then. I have actually gained a huge amount of confidence in myself and I do find myself doing things that I never would have attempted before. I actually _like_ myself, as is.
The one thing that I still don't have the courage to do (but really wish I did) would be to date. The lack of courage in this area is from trust issues and the simple fact that there is no potential dating material in my life right now. One day, maybe...


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## dharmabean (Oct 27, 2012)

Victoria08 said:


> If I had come accross this thread 6-12 months ago, I would have been able to write a list (a really, really long list) about what I wish I was brave enough to do. Most of the things on that list would have been based on my complete lack of self confidence.
> But that was then. I have actually gained a huge amount of confidence in myself and I do find myself doing things that I never would have attempted before. I actually _like_ myself, as is.
> The one thing that I still don't have the courage to do (but really wish I did) would be to date. The lack of courage in this area is from trust issues and the simple fact that there is no potential dating material in my life right now. One day, maybe...




You are gorgeous!


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## Surlysomething (Oct 27, 2012)

Wear a bathing suit.


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## Duchess of York (Oct 29, 2012)

Wear sleeveless shirts in public.


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## ecogeek (Nov 26, 2012)

To go out dancing. I am pretty confident in a lot of ways...I used to go to a lot of parties and it was easy to get lost in a crowd but these days...I just miss it. I don't really have the confidence for that one.


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## kaylaisamachine (Nov 28, 2012)

Go hiking or biking with my boyfriend.


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## 1love_emily (Nov 28, 2012)

I work at a Girl Scout camp, and we have the highest challenge course in Nebraska. I want to some day have the courage to do the high ropes course. Yes, I'm afraid of heights and falling and that has something to do with it. But I'm more afraid of the belayer not being able to keep me safe with my weight. I'm afraid that a harness won't fit and that I'll be stuck on the ground even if I wanted to do it. And I'm afraid that while I'm climbing, the ropes and cords breaking because of my weight. I confessed this to another staff member at camp and she told me I was crazy. But I just couldn't bring myself to try it. I'm afraid of the embarrassment of all of it.


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## bbwlibrarian (Nov 29, 2012)

Wearing heels! I had a mortifying experience many years ago, where I wore heels on a job interview. Well, it was a rainy day...and the leather bottoms squeaked as I walked! Being a large woman (350 then, 300 now), everyone at the interview kept staring at me as I walked, afraid that my heels would bust off! They even gave me a hard time about walking up and down stairs ("Be careful--wouldn't want you to fall...") even though I can't recall the last time I ever had a problem walking...anywhere. It was really embarrassing, and so I don't dare wear heels now. (I do rock some wedge boots, though!)

I also wish I had the confidence to exercise in public. I walk 3mi a day, and I intentionally do it at 6am for a couple of reasons:
1) because it's quieter (a big one, as I find the walk to be meditative);
2) because I don't encounter the idiots that make "big fat fatty" jokes at that hour. Everyone else that's out is a serious exerciser, too, and isn't interested in poking fun.


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## AuntHen (Nov 29, 2012)

bbwlibrarian said:


> I also wish I had the confidence to exercise in public. I walk 3mi a day, and I intentionally do it at 6am for a couple of reasons:
> 1) because it's quieter (a big one, as I find the walk to be meditative);
> 2) because I don't encounter the idiots that make "big fat fatty" jokes at that hour. Everyone else that's out is a serious exerciser, too, and isn't interested in poking fun.



I walk every day! Love it! Mostly around 11am or noon (due to daylight savings...used to walk after 6pm). I find people do not yell out anything negative. I feel they probably just nod their heads in their cars thinking "oh good! that fatty is getting some exercise, best not disturb her" haha  Actually what I DO get sometimes is some horn honking or "owwww"... "woooo"... once got a "work it girl".  I am pretty much the only *fat *person out there hoofing it in my neighborhood, so I am sure I "stick out". In all my years of walking, I have only had one car yell anything out about being fat and it was "woooooooooo, you fat!" but they didn't put much effort into it and I was just like "yeah, that's right".

I think if anyone were to say something in a mean manner, I would just yell back "yeah and you're looking!" and then slap my butt or something haha. Let them yell. I mean, _*I *_am the one walking, they are sitting on their butts in their cars.


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## bbwlibrarian (Nov 29, 2012)

fat9276 said:


> I think if anyone were to say something in a mean manner, I would just yell back "yeah and you're looking!" and then slap my butt or something haha. Let them yell. I mean, _*I *_am the one walking, they are sitting on their butts in their cars.



So true! I'll keep that in mind.


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## spiritangel (Nov 29, 2012)

1love_emily said:


> I work at a Girl Scout camp, and we have the highest challenge course in Nebraska. I want to some day have the courage to do the high ropes course. Yes, I'm afraid of heights and falling and that has something to do with it. But I'm more afraid of the belayer not being able to keep me safe with my weight. I'm afraid that a harness won't fit and that I'll be stuck on the ground even if I wanted to do it. And I'm afraid that while I'm climbing, the ropes and cords breaking because of my weight. I confessed this to another staff member at camp and she told me I was crazy. But I just couldn't bring myself to try it. I'm afraid of the embarrassment of all of it.




Emily ask if you can do it maybe at a time when not a lot of people are around.

Speaking from personal experience I spent years going to a summer camp where they had an awesome flying fox but was to scared to try it. When i say Awesome it was Almost a km long and you would kick a tree and fly back almost to the top

I did and I was lining up for that thing every chance I go and it was on pulleys and ropes

Go for it you have nothing to loose and if your really worried talk to the person who runs the activity they will be able to tell you if you can't do it for your above reasons. Hugs


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## Pandasaur (Nov 29, 2012)

Walk up to a guy in a public place and tell him hes hot without anxiety or feeling like I'm going hurl

I actually had the opportunity to do it yesterday but I chickened out and went back to quietly playing angry birds


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## s13 (Dec 6, 2012)

Pandasaur said:


> Walk up to a guy in a public place and tell him hes hot without anxiety or feeling like I'm going hurl
> 
> I actually had the opportunity to do it yesterday but I chickened out and went back to quietly playing angry birds



90 percent of people would have approach anxiety ... Once you do one the second comes easier ... Guys have to do it all the time "are you a man or a mouse" and unfortunately mouse comes trumps heaps hehe


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## Pandasaur (Dec 6, 2012)

s13 said:


> 90 percent of people would have approach anxiety ... Once you do one the second comes easier ... Guys have to do it all the time "are you a man or a mouse" and unfortunately mouse comes trumps heaps hehe




Thats when liquid courage is needed


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## scoozy (Jan 8, 2013)

sometimes i wish i had the courage to love myself for who i am


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## Lovelyone (Jan 14, 2013)

I wish I had the courage to just be myself. I sometimes feel like I have to explain myself or to explain why I said/did something.


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## Cobra Verde (Jan 14, 2013)

Crystal meth.


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## Cobra Verde (Jan 14, 2013)

Whoops, I didn't notice that this thread was addressed to the ladies. My mistake.


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## veggieforever (Jan 16, 2013)

I just wish I had the courage to wear shorts whilst on holi-pops in Spain this coming June. I have never worn shorts and I wish I could ditch the niggles in my head that peeps will be staring in horror at my unshapely and slightly wobbly thighs!! I just wanna wear shorts with confidence and abandon and not melt in the blazing Mediterranean heat!! lol xXx[/B]


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## Oona (Jan 16, 2013)

veggieforever said:


> I just wish I had the courage to wear shorts whilst on holi-pops in Spain this coming June. I have never worn shorts and I wish I could ditch the niggles in my head that peeps will be staring in horror at my unshapely and slightly wobbly thighs!! I just wanna wear shorts with confidence and abandon and not melt in the blazing Mediterranean heat!! lol xXx[/B]



How often do you plan on seeing all those people again? Never? Ok. 

Let loose! Wear shorts, own them and keep smiling! Screw what ANYONE else is thinking. You're gorgeous!


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## Oona (Jan 16, 2013)

I wish I had the courage to suck it up and do what is best for ME and not worry about how it will affect everyone else.


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## CastingPearls (Jan 16, 2013)

I wished I had the courage to deactivate my Facebook account. 

I was concerned about hurting friends and realized my real friends would understand, so I did it. 

It's temporary but I needed to reassess, reorganize and begin living my life more outside than inside (timing not so good since it's snows about six inches a day lately) but I've begun a few things I'm proud of.

I've overcome a lot of bad habits and addictions in my lifetime including detoxing myself from narcotics a few years back when I was sick. I knew this, for me, not for anyone else, was something I needed to do to prove to myself and it was the right choice.

I'll be back when I'm ready. Until then, for those to whom it pertains, I love you, I love you, I love you.

EDT: For those who do pray or do energy work: Big court date on the 29th. I can use all the emotional and spiritual support anyone can offer. It's a huge deal.


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## one2one (Jan 16, 2013)

veggieforever said:


> I just wish I had the courage to wear shorts whilst on holi-pops in Spain this coming June. I have never worn shorts and I wish I could ditch the niggles in my head that peeps will be staring in horror at my unshapely and slightly wobbly thighs!! I just wanna wear shorts with confidence and abandon and not melt in the blazing Mediterranean heat!! lol xXx[/B]



How about finding a pair you like and wearing them around the house between now and then to get use to the idea?


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## stevenbbwlvr (Jan 19, 2013)

aztecprinc3ss said:


> Fellow BBw, What did you wish you had the courage to do? What is keeping you from accomplishing it?
> 
> I wish I had the courage to keep looking for a job even after prospective employer turns me down time after time because of my weight impediment. It just gets harder each time I have to go back out there. People might think me paranoid in thinking that, but I've overheard them having conversations about said impediment.



It's not just weight. It's everybody. 

It is brutal out there.


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## veggieforever (Jan 19, 2013)

one2one said:


> How about finding a pair you like and wearing them around the house between now and then to get use to the idea?



*Thanks for that! My common sense hadn't kicked in but I have now procured a pair and am going to strut my plus-sized stuff in the privacy of my flat and see how I feel about what I see! Thanks sweetie  Maybe I will even take a piccie too! Thanks girls for your comments. Been a massive help! Mwah!xXx*


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## veggieforever (Jan 19, 2013)

Oona said:


> How often do you plan on seeing all those people again? Never? Ok.
> 
> Let loose! Wear shorts, own them and keep smiling! Screw what ANYONE else is thinking. You're gorgeous!



*Mwah! What a boost for my confidence!  Thanks sweetie and your sentiments are very true indeed! xXx*


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## one2one (Jan 20, 2013)

veggieforever said:


> *Thanks for that! My common sense hadn't kicked in but I have now procured a pair and am going to strut my plus-sized stuff in the privacy of my flat and see how I feel about what I see! Thanks sweetie  Maybe I will even take a piccie too! Thanks girls for your comments. Been a massive help! Mwah!xXx*



Yay!! You are very welcome, and I hope you have a fabulous holiday. I'm totally envious you're going to Spain, but I'm working through it. :blush:


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## ecogeek (Mar 2, 2013)

Go get waxed. No seriously. The idea terrifies me, but I want to. Ergh.


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## Surlysomething (Mar 2, 2013)

Joining a gym.

Looking into it next week...






Get busy livin'


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## veggieforever (Mar 3, 2013)

Surlysomething said:


> Joining a gym.
> 
> Looking into it next week...
> 
> ...


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## Surlysomething (Mar 3, 2013)

Thanks for the encouragement, lady.

I'm nervous and excited!






veggieforever said:


> Surlysomething said:
> 
> 
> > Joining a gym.
> ...


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## BarterGal (Mar 4, 2013)

Riding on the back of my new man's Harley! All I can think of is my back fat all hanging out and people laughing in their cars.


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## Surlysomething (Mar 14, 2013)

Contacted them about meeting with a trainer.


Freaked out but excited. 



Surlysomething said:


> Joining a gym.
> 
> Looking into it next week...
> 
> ...


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## Oona (Mar 15, 2013)

Surlysomething said:


> Contacted them about meeting with a trainer.
> 
> 
> Freaked out but excited.



I just started going to a local gym here. I absolutely LOVE it there. They have signs posted everywhere saying things like "No Critics" or "No Judgement" and they keep true to those words. I am by far the fattest person in the gym and I have no problem getting my work out on. I hope the gym you joined is just as awesome. And I hope the trainers are as well. Its exciting/scary but in an awesome way!


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## Surlysomething (Mar 15, 2013)

That sounds great! It's nice to hear from someone else with a positive experience.

This is a women's only gym so i'm super excited and go for my consultation/tour today.







Oona said:


> I just started going to a local gym here. I absolutely LOVE it there. They have signs posted everywhere saying things like "No Critics" or "No Judgement" and they keep true to those words. I am by far the fattest person in the gym and I have no problem getting my work out on. I hope the gym you joined is just as awesome. And I hope the trainers are as well. Its exciting/scary but in an awesome way!


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## Oona (Mar 15, 2013)

Surlysomething said:


> That sounds great! It's nice to hear from someone else with a positive experience.
> 
> This is a women's only gym so i'm super excited and go for my consultation/tour today.



Awesome! Tell us how it goes!


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## 1love_emily (Mar 16, 2013)

I wish I had the courage to tell J, the boy I fancy, that I think he's the sweetest, smartest, and kindest boy at school and that I just want to go get coffee with him and talk to him.

But I never will because I'm terrified of rejection and I hate not feeling like I'm pretty or good looking enough for the boys at school.


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## Surlysomething (Mar 16, 2013)

I met with the trainer/consultant and it went soooo great!
I start on Tuesday and we're going to take it slow and build up. Mostly strength training to help with my MS. 

VERY excited!


I also ran into a friend I haven't seen in a long time and she was didn't recognize me as she said my face looked so much thinner. Haha. Not that i'm honestly trying to lose weight..but some would be good for my health issues.


Thanks for being sweet, lady. 




Oona said:


> Awesome! Tell us how it goes!


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## Oona (Mar 16, 2013)

Surlysomething said:


> I met with the trainer/consultant and it went soooo great!
> I start on Tuesday and we're going to take it slow and build up. Mostly strength training to help with my MS.
> 
> VERY excited!
> ...



Glad it went well! And I hope it helps with your MS and any other health issues.


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## Lamia (Mar 17, 2013)

For those of you who have cited problems finding work. I would advise call center work. I know it sucks, but I have never had a hard time getting hired for it. They don't care if you're fat no one can see you. 

I never apply for reception jobs....never going to get that. 

I wish I had the courage to or confidence in my ability to perform on stage. I like to sing, but I am so critical of every note.


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## Surlysomething (Mar 20, 2013)

I had a really hard time with my legs on the recumbent bike thing. Stupid MS and my legs wanting to be doing anything but pedaling. Add in the fact that I haven't done any exercise like this for over *cough* twenty years and I was pretty embarrassed/frustrated. But that's what i'm there for.

I'm signed up, paid for and i'll be back! 




Oona said:


> Glad it went well! And I hope it helps with your MS and any other health issues.


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## Oona (Mar 20, 2013)

Surlysomething said:


> I had a really hard time with my legs on the recumbent bike thing. Stupid MS and my legs wanting to be doing anything but pedaling. Add in the fact that I haven't done any exercise like this for over *cough* twenty years and I was pretty embarrassed/frustrated. But that's what i'm there for.
> 
> I'm signed up, paid for and i'll be back!



Awesome! I'm proud of you! The best attitude is to just move forward and do it again!


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## Surlysomething (Mar 21, 2013)

Thanks so much. That means a lot to me. 

Gym Part 2 tonight!
I'm so happy I have the sweetest trainer/consultant, let me tell you.





Oona said:


> Awesome! I'm proud of you! The best attitude is to just move forward and do it again!


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## Oona (Mar 21, 2013)

Surlysomething said:


> Thanks so much. That means a lot to me.
> 
> Gym Part 2 tonight!
> I'm so happy I have the sweetest trainer/consultant, let me tell you.



Lucky! I don't have a trainer/consultant, but I love my gym. Although, I have been skipping this week because my gym partner isn't able to go... hehe


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## Surlysomething (Mar 21, 2013)

When I joined it's part of the membership that they have someone work with you so you have a good, solid program in place. I need the help so I do the right training with my MS. It's been a lifesaver. Haha. She's been waiting for me everytime I go...it's nice to have the encouragement. 




Oona said:


> Lucky! I don't have a trainer/consultant, but I love my gym. Although, I have been skipping this week because my gym partner isn't able to go... hehe


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## Oona (Mar 21, 2013)

Surlysomething said:


> When I joined it's part of the membership that they have someone work with you so you have a good, solid program in place. I need the help so I do the right training with my MS. It's been a lifesaver. Haha. She's been waiting for me everytime I go...it's nice to have the encouragement.



See, you have her at the gym and me as your personal cheerleader here!


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## Surlysomething (Mar 21, 2013)

I feel pretty lucky! Truly! 



Oona said:


> See, you have her at the gym and me as your personal cheerleader here!


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## Piink (Mar 21, 2013)

I wish I had the courage to take photos of myself, clothed, nakey, or otherwise. I gag at the thought of a camera. I love taking pics of others, and the outdoors, and all my itty bitty critters, but not myself. I'm quite nit-picky when it comes to me and my body.

Also wish I had the courage to have the lights on as well!! I like it better in the dark!


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## Iamaunicorn (Apr 19, 2013)

1love_emily said:


> I wish I had the courage to tell J, the boy I fancy, that I think he's the sweetest, smartest, and kindest boy at school and that I just want to go get coffee with him and talk to him.
> 
> But I never will because I'm terrified of rejection and I hate not feeling like I'm pretty or good looking enough for the boys at school.





Holy Jeebus! You're beautiful. :wubu:


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## stevenbbwlvr (Apr 19, 2013)

Piink said:


> I wish I had the courage to take photos of myself, clothed, nakey, or otherwise. I gag at the thought of a camera. I love taking pics of others, and the outdoors, and all my itty bitty critters, but not myself. I'm quite nit-picky when it comes to me and my body.
> 
> Also wish I had the courage to have the lights on as well!! I like it better in the dark!



It is most unwise to take indecent pictures of oneself and have them anywhere that is not quite private, people have had sad experiences at the hands of vindictive ex-lovers.

Myself? I had some really raunchy Poloroids of a lover of mine. But, after we broke up, I destroyed them.

Others may not be so punctilious.


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## Piink (Apr 19, 2013)

stevenbbwlvr said:


> It is most unwise to take indecent pictures of oneself and have them anywhere that is not quite private, people have had sad experiences at the hands of vindictive ex-lovers.
> 
> Myself? I had some really raunchy Poloroids of a lover of mine. But, after we broke up, I destroyed them.
> 
> Others may not be so punctilious.



I wouldn't post them online or anything like that. Just do it to say I did it and so I can say "Damn girl, you look good naked!" would be good enough. Regardless, I still don't have the confidence to do so I guess I will never need to worry about that.


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## Oona (Apr 20, 2013)

I can officially check "running on the treadmill" off my list.


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## BarterGal (May 1, 2013)

I have a courage list, no doubt. New man is helping me with a lot of that, just naturally. First is walking around fully naked around the house. I swore, I never would have even thought of doing that pre-new man. He makes me feel so comfortable, probably because my body is not an issue, not even talked about...except how much he adores touching it. 

Next up, riding his Harley. egads!! That's coming here soon now with spring and I am doing it! 

Then...attending a festival. I had these fears for awhile now. Mostly because of my back and walking issues, but I'm doing much better and I'm going to a huge one next weekend in Iowa with new man and if I need to stop, I will tell him and he will not care. I did buy us VIP tickets 

Finally, I had the courage to take down the old walls I had up in my life for so many years when it came to dating. Since I met new man, I have seen myself become a new person of sorts and I love it. I am seeing things different, I'm not such a biatch and have learned to love and get to know his kids. Kids were off my list, but his are great and I love being around them. 

I let him in on day one, he made me feel so wonderful, how could you not let that in?


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## stevenbbwlvr (Jul 4, 2013)

BarterGal said:


> I have a courage list, no doubt. New man is helping me with a lot of that, just naturally. First is walking around fully naked around the house. I swore, I never would have even thought of doing that pre-new man. He makes me feel so comfortable, probably because my body is not an issue, not even talked about...except how much he adores touching it.
> 
> Next up, riding his Harley. egads!! That's coming here soon now with spring and I am doing it!
> 
> ...



All of that warms my heart. Good luck to you!

I am sure you look great with no clothes on.


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## sophie lou (Jul 5, 2013)

I wish i had the courage to stand up to my father and tell him that i will live my life my way. 

I wish i had the courage to say that i have put recent events behind me and that i am now ok. I dread waking up some mornings because i worry that i will be feeling as low and scared as i was a few days ago.


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