# Just a bit of a rant about online dating sites



## Dibaby35 (Sep 4, 2008)

Okay so I'm trying to date again. So yeah I signed up for a few sites. Granted I realize the ones I signed up for our not BBW orientated. But I never have any luck with finding someone local on the BBW sites. Anyways why oh why do these sites that claim to match you up perfectly, always match me up with guys that put in their profile that their perfect girl would be "average, thin, athletic, fit". It's like just about every guy. I don't get it. When I didn't put that as what describes me. UGHHHH sorry just aggravated..such a huge waste of time.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Sep 4, 2008)

We know from past threads that there are FA's out there, but apparently they don't advertise on BBW dating sites. I have occasionally glanced at such sites, and my impression was that the women -- at least, those who posted pictures -- were thin to the point of emaciation. Are they unclear on the concept of BBW? Or am I?


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## No-No-Badkitty (Sep 4, 2008)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> We know from past threads that there are FA's out there, but apparently they don't advertise on BBW dating sites. I have occasionally glanced at such sites, and my impression was that the women -- at least, those who posted pictures -- were thin to the point of emaciation. Are they unclear on the concept of BBW? Or am I?




I wonder sometimes if these women really see themselves as fat.
If so.
I have to then ask...good grief...what do I look like to them


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## Dibaby35 (Sep 4, 2008)

Weight is all relative...but i know what the average guy is expecting when he asks for "average, athletic, thin". It's definitely not me at 235 and 5'10. Although maybe some of u think that is average I don't know. It's soo darn frustrating. Why can't everyone just be like dim people..sigh.


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## keeothie (Sep 4, 2008)

I have to say I've been in a similar situation. I tried the online dating thing recently after two years of being single and not looking, and I was very disappointed. I tried some of the "regular" and then the BBW dating sites, and didn't really have much luck with either. You know when every profile you sift through generates an eye roll (I especially love how some guys make a point to say, "Please, no fatties"). :doh:

And I totally agree that the gals who describe themselves as "fat/chubby/fluffy etc..." on those dating websites are living on a totally different planet than most women I know. I don't get it either.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Sep 4, 2008)

Dibaby35 said:


> Weight is all relative...but i know what the average guy is expecting when he asks for "average, athletic, thin". It's definitely not me at 235 and 5'10. .



235 and 5'10" sounds ideal to me...but that figures, of course, since I live several hundred miles from Chicago and am married. Never doubt that the Dating Gods have a sense of humor.


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## EmJay (Sep 4, 2008)

I do belong to one and have discovered that if they're affiliated with other non-BBW sites, they dump everyone together. 
I've not had much luck either...other then "flirts", it doesn't seem to go further. 
I'm especially frustrated that I state the age and smoking preference and "still" get email from men who smoke or are much younger then I'd be comfortable dating. 
I don't need a man in my life, it would just enhance it, so I try not to take it too seriously. 
Good luck to all! :smitten:


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## ciaobella (Sep 4, 2008)

Hello,

I understand the frustration BUT I did meet my hubby through a bbw dating site... well actually I met a guy on bbwdatefinder who then led me to casualkiss and my hubby met a girl on plentyoffish who then led him to casualkiss... so I suppose technically I didn't meet him on a bbw centric dating site per se but indirectly it did lead me to the love of my life. I also met a couple good guys on bbwdatefinder. Not sure if it is as good for people in the US but there sure were a lot of canucks on the site. Anyway, hope that helps!


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## No-No-Badkitty (Sep 4, 2008)

I met my hubby this was too, there are guys out there...and yes it's hard finding them.


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## Lovelyone (Sep 4, 2008)

I've had minimal luck on POF, but I have had some responses (probably because I am VERY Direct in my profile, state exactly what size and how much I weigh...and specify exactly what I am lookinf for in a potential partner.) I had ZERO luck on bbwdatefinder, or largefriends. Those sites just arent designed for ssbbws.


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## littlefairywren (Sep 5, 2008)

Hi

I have started the whole internet dating thing and starting to have mixed feelings myself. I am registered on a site for BBW's and have noticed that a guy will put on his profile that "looks are unimportant it's what's on the inside that counts" or tell you that they are "one of the nice guys" but even they refuse to respond to winks or nudges. I know I would never win a beauty pageant but come on, if someone smiles at you in the street it's rude to ignore them. 

Also come across a scammer, so you need to keep your eyes open. The amount of married men and those in an ongoing relationships really surprised me, grubby little nasties!

Good luck with your search though, I truly believe there is someone for everyone and we all deserved to be loved!


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## Dibaby35 (Sep 5, 2008)

Lovelyone said:


> I've had minimal luck on POF, but I have had some responses (probably because I am VERY Direct in my profile, state exactly what size and how much I weigh...and specify exactly what I am lookinf for in a potential partner.) I had ZERO luck on bbwdatefinder, or largefriends. Those sites just arent designed for ssbbws.



Yeah POF I had some luck too..but since its a free site it tends to harvest men just looking for a good time. I mean by far I have received the most dates on that site..but man...where did I put "I just want casual sex" in my profile. Cause it's far from it..LOL. :doh:

Yep I'll keep looking. My problem is now I don't even have money to get a babysitter to go out on a date..ugh. Nothing like being a trapped single mom . I go to the park and stuff, library..wherever it's free to go..but all I find is married men there with their kids. Man I hate doing the obvious starring at the hand thing seeing if they are married..lol.


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## Dibaby35 (Sep 5, 2008)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> 235 and 5'10" sounds ideal to me...but that figures, of course, since I live several hundred miles from Chicago and am married. Never doubt that the Dating Gods have a sense of humor.



Got a brother that lives in Chicago? LOLLLL


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## Dibaby35 (Sep 5, 2008)

kmdkml said:


> Hi
> 
> I have started the whole internet dating thing and starting to have mixed feelings myself. I am registered on a site for BBW's and have noticed that a guy will put on his profile that "looks are unimportant it's what's on the inside that counts" or tell you that they are "one of the nice guys" but even they refuse to respond to winks or nudges. I know I would never win a beauty pageant but come on, if someone smiles at you in the street it's rude to ignore them.
> 
> ...




The married man thing suprised the heck out of me too. I had to actually put in their NOT INTERESTED IN MARRIED MEN...lol. It really is sickening. Sorry for people that are into that sort of thing. But I'm just old fashioned I guess.


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## cuddlybbbw (Sep 5, 2008)

Dibaby35 said:


> Okay so I'm trying to date again. So yeah I signed up for a few sites. Granted I realize the ones I signed up for our not BBW orientated. But I never have any luck with finding someone local on the BBW sites. Anyways why oh why do these sites that claim to match you up perfectly, always match me up with guys that put in their profile that their perfect girl would be "average, thin, athletic, fit". It's like just about every guy. I don't get it. When I didn't put that as what describes me. UGHHHH sorry just aggravated..such a huge waste of time.




It does seem to be very frustrating. I've also noticed that most of the guys who state "cute and curvy" as an attraction just want women with big boobs and ass. If you tell them you're a ssbbw, they freak out.

I honestly feel at this point, I will be alone for the rest of my life as I get very little responses on those sites.


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## chocolate desire (Sep 7, 2008)

It always seemed to me that the same people was on all the diffrent sites.
Being as i am newly single I think I will just kick back and enjoy life and what it has to offer.. I realize now I only stayed in the relationship for fear of so called friends saying I told you so...
Anyway back to sites try ssbbwsingles I always had a good response from them.


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## CTHye (Sep 8, 2008)

I found this thread interesting.
I'm a divorced male, 56, who lives in central Connecticut.
Since I was divorced seven years ago, I've used BBWDatefinder with good results. I've met several woman who became nice friends.
And, I've had two relationships with women I met from the site, one lasting 2.5 years, the other, 9 months.
I am attracted to women in the 180 to 250 range...everyone has their own preferences and chemistry matters no matter what size person we are attracted to.
I don't know lots of men who admit they're attracted to BBW's but I always have been and consider myself fortunate for that.
I never understood the appeal of thin women!


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## moonvine (Sep 8, 2008)

cuddlybbbw said:


> I honestly feel at this point, I will be alone for the rest of my life as I get very little responses on those sites.



I have been alone for most of my life. I've accepted it and it really isn't so bad.


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## Lovelyone (Sep 9, 2008)

cuddlybbbw said:


> I honestly feel at this point, I will be alone for the rest of my life as I get very little responses on those sites.


 

I used to feel the same way. I haven't given up though. I am going down fighting. I really think that love deserves a fighting chance.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 9, 2008)

Lovelyone said:


> I used to feel the same way. I haven't given up though. I am going down fighting. I really think that love deserves a fighting chance.



I also think we deserve some good love so I'm with you on this one Terri


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## Dibaby35 (Sep 10, 2008)

Hmm..so maybe I have a lead..maybe..lol

So he's like.."ask me anything"...I've asked some standard questions but I'm wondering if there are some good ones that I should be asking. 

My friend made me giggle. She's like ask him if he's ever felt like killing someone..lol.


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## IndyGal (Sep 10, 2008)

[/QUOTE]
Yep I'll keep looking. My problem is now I don't even have money to get a babysitter to go out on a date..ugh. Nothing like being a trapped single mom . I go to the park and stuff, library..wherever it's free to go..but all I find is married men there with their kids. Man I hate doing the obvious starring at the hand thing seeing if they are married..lol.[/QUOTE]

I am definitely in the same boat - not using a sitter and checking out the left hand of most guys I see. 

PS
What the flip did I do wrong with the quote thing? Still learning the ropes.


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## crosseyedhamster (Sep 10, 2008)

I actually know a guy (bit of an idiot) who's trying to use an online dating site, some of the sleezy ones at that, to "lose it.":doh: The girl he's been chatting with wants $200. My buddies and I have told him not to do it, 'cause we all think he's lucky if it's really even a girl, and so on.

Not sure how that ties in with the topic, other than online dating sites, but the moal of the story is (acknowledging it sometimes works) I don't trust dating sites.


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## Dibaby35 (Sep 10, 2008)

crosseyedhamster said:


> I actually know a guy (bit of an idiot) who's trying to use an online dating site, some of the sleezy ones at that, to "lose it.":doh: The girl he's been chatting with wants $200. My buddies and I have told him not to do it, 'cause we all think he's lucky if it's really even a girl, and so on.
> 
> Not sure how that ties in with the topic, other than online dating sites, but the moal of the story is (acknowledging it sometimes works) I don't trust dating sites.



Well dating sites can't really control the morons of the world. lolll Yeah my rule is never get serious about someone..and for sure never give anyone anything until you meet them and can really judge who that person really is. Good luck to your friend...sounds like he's going to learn the hard way though. Poor bugger.


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## Rowan (Sep 10, 2008)

Well..i joined the POF site yesterday...and it seems to be going okay...but whether or not it will pan out, that's a completely different story!


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## Lovelyone (Sep 10, 2008)

Indy gal

Just hit the quote button in another persons box then type your message after the end ot their quote as if you are answering thier message.


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## Dibaby35 (Sep 10, 2008)

Rowan said:


> Well..i joined the POF site yesterday...and it seems to be going okay...but whether or not it will pan out, that's a completely different story!



At least its free and there are no limitations on talking to each other.


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## Raqui (Sep 10, 2008)

The problem with dating sites is that most of them are not JUST FOR PLUS SIZED PEOPLE!

Many of them are giant networks of people period.

So you will not get just BBW's and admirers.


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## knottyknicky (Sep 10, 2008)

I've signed up for a few 'dating sites' in the past, and never, ever with any real luck. I've met a few guys, none with any real sparks and a couple weirdos too. As far as meeting someone online, I'd give the same advice thats given to people searching for love in the physical realm...get involved in activities (message boards/forums, in this case) that you enjoy...rather than a dating website, become an active member of a forum thats based around a topic you're interested in, wether its size acceptance or sewing or your favorite band. Kind of the parallel of joining a club to meet people and enjoy an interest rather than just going to a bar and waiting for Mr. Right to show up.


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## grandecafe1 (Sep 10, 2008)

It would seem that I am in the same boat as the rest of the ladies in her... romantically no where. I believe in love and keep hope alive but not being in love has not stopped me from having a good life. I have tried the internet dating thing and well I have had little success.  
I continue to lead a full life and hope someday to share it with an excellent partner. Meanwhile I am planning to make a life change next year and hopefully move to Europe ( I'm currently in Minneapolis, MN USA). Maybe a change in location/life will help.
lol!
good luck to all open to love....


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 10, 2008)

Raqui said:


> The problem with dating sites is that most of them are not JUST FOR PLUS SIZED PEOPLE!
> 
> Many of them are giant networks of people period.
> 
> So you will not get just BBW's and admirers.



Why not try Largeandlovely.com?


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## gaffo (Sep 12, 2008)

Dibaby35 said:


> Weight is all relative...but i know what the average guy is expecting when he asks for "average, athletic, thin". It's definitely not me at 235 and 5'10. Although maybe some of u think that is average I don't know. It's soo darn frustrating. Why can't everyone just be like dim people..sigh.





sorry to but in - just a guy here - wanted to let you know that there are millions of us whe would truely prefer 235 over 135.

I'm stuck on BBW Pearshaped gals - just my wiring, but other guys like BBWs of all shapes - I'd like to recomend a site for you to try out. I've had some luck over the years with it, as have others. It is not smutty like some can be.

www.BBWfinder.com

best of luck!! - if you know any pearshaped gals send em my way ;-).


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## gaffo (Sep 12, 2008)

ciaobella said:


> Hello,
> 
> I understand the frustration BUT I did meet my hubby through a bbw dating site... well actually I met a guy on bbwdatefinder who then led me to casualkiss and my hubby met a girl on plentyoffish who then led him to casualkiss... so I suppose technically I didn't meet him on a bbw centric dating site per se but indirectly it did lead me to the love of my life. I also met a couple good guys on bbwdatefinder. Not sure if it is as good for people in the US but there sure were a lot of canucks on the site. Anyway, hope that helps!





BBWdatfinder.......now BBWfinder.........
thats the site I've used for 3 years or so. had one serious relationship from it. good service!!

have we met ;-).


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## gaffo (Sep 12, 2008)

Dibaby35 said:


> Yeah POF I had some luck too..but since its a free site it tends to harvest men just looking for a good time. I mean by far I have received the most dates on that site..but man...where did I put "I just want casual sex" in my profile. Cause it's far from it..LOL. :doh:
> 
> Yep I'll keep looking. My problem is now I don't even have money to get a babysitter to go out on a date..ugh. Nothing like being a trapped single mom . I go to the park and stuff, library..wherever it's free to go..but all I find is married men there with their kids. Man I hate doing the obvious starring at the hand thing seeing if they are married..lol.




I've learned to ignore the hand. After asking out gals not wearing a ring to be told they were married (no I'm not hidious LOL - decent looking if I do say so myself). And knowing a single gal that wares a rings to ward off guys!!!

rings mean nothing.

assume they are single - ask them out, then you get shot down worst case, or you go out best case.

fixate on that ring/no ring and you lose every time!


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## gaffo (Sep 12, 2008)

moonvine said:


> I have been alone for most of my life. I've accepted it and it really isn't so bad.



hows the cost of living in Austin these days? - I left there a decade ago ;-/.

I miss it. it was a great a town in the early 90's - not so much by the late 90's.

does it still have the arts/personality? or did the California imports ruin the town permantly?

Barton Springs is still clean and they still have the Zepher train in Zilker park - or is all only a distant memory ;-(.


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## gaffo (Sep 12, 2008)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Why not try Largeandlovely.com?



they are decent - been a member there too. selection is not as good as BBWfinder however.


there used to be a "celticmoon" site that was free, but is is now gone. ;-/.


Yahoo personals is decent too BTW. I had some luck with them.

good luck!


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## KotR (Sep 14, 2008)

I've done the dating site thing, too. Probably the biggest grumble was going through match.com or whatever's 200 question quiz thingy, just to be told I'm not compatible with people on their site and wouldn't even post my profile.

Done other sites, but they were usually limited on communication or attempted to filter ways to get around it. Like, you couldn't say AIM or AOL Instant Messenger, etc..

For a long time, I tried playing the shy card. While it is me, to an extent, it didn't particularly display my cynical or humorous side. I'd later try one where I was like, "I'm a nerd, I like nerd things. While I try not to be picky about physical appearances, if I can't at least find your face attractive, it probably won't get physical." Perhaps a bit crass, and beauty is always subjective, but that didn't exactly win anyone over, either.

I dunno. I don't wanna give up on the possibility of a relationship, but it's not like I'm meeting new people where I live.


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## moniquessbbw (Sep 14, 2008)

I met my last b/f on this site 
http://butterflyloungedating.com


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## chocolate desire (Sep 14, 2008)

There is also largefriends.com although I met the man of my dreams right here on Dims forums.


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## jewels_mystery (Sep 14, 2008)

gaffo said:


> they are decent - been a member there too. selection is not as good as BBWfinder however.
> 
> 
> there used to be a "celticmoon" site that was free, but is is now gone. ;-/.
> ...




I thought I was the only one who remembers celticmoon. I used to get a lot of responses off of there.


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## No-No-Badkitty (Sep 14, 2008)

jewels_mystery said:


> I thought I was the only one who remembers celticmoon. I used to get a lot of responses off of there.




I think it was Yahoo that I met my husband on too.


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## mariac1966 (Sep 14, 2008)

There is also BBPeopleMeet.com


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## goodthings (Sep 15, 2008)

I am currently on eharmony. So far it is ok, but it is definately not very size friendly. Their eharmony advice discussion boards are HORRIBLE, so many of the posters are fat biggots. I posted a question where I was trashed due to my size. 
I am currently chatting with one man, but am not sure how it will go. 
I have met a few guys on other sites, such as craigslist, pof and so far they have only wanted to have sex. 
It has been quite hard on me. Even when I post specificly on my ads or reply to an add that says they want a bbw, once they see that i am not just chubby, but am fat they dump me. It is so lame!


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## Rowan (Sep 16, 2008)

goodthings said:


> I am currently on eharmony. So far it is ok, but it is definately not very size friendly. Their eharmony advice discussion boards are HORRIBLE, so many of the posters are fat biggots. I posted a question where I was trashed due to my size.
> I am currently chatting with one man, but am not sure how it will go.
> I have met a few guys on other sites, such as craigslist, pof and so far they have only wanted to have sex.
> It has been quite hard on me. Even when I post specificly on my ads or reply to an add that says they want a bbw, once they see that i am not just chubby, but am fat they dump me. It is so lame!



I tried eharmony once...spent all those hours filling out that stupid personality profile only to get to the end and be told no one in the world was compatible for me. That sucked


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## ThinkerGoneMad (Sep 21, 2008)

I feel your pain. I was about to sign up for perfectmatch.com and the little light went off in my head about the money I wasted with eharmony.com.
And you're right...the bbw dating sites connect you with people that seem to be half way around the damn world!


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## fiore (Sep 22, 2008)

I was on match.com for about three weeks - no dice. 

This is probably a dumb question but....

Is it true that smaller sites like BBW Date Finder have fake people on them? That's what I've heard, and why I'm suspicious of the smaller, boutique dating sites. I heard that they pad the sites (no pun intended) to make them look more popular than they actually are. It reminds me of that episode of Frasier where he meets Laura Linney the matchmaker and he's secretly her only client. Haha. Anyone else see that one? Anywhoo...

Which of the boutique BBW sites are worth trying?


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## vcrgrrl (Sep 22, 2008)

I know the feeling. I haven't had any luck with personals sites!


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## CTHye (Sep 22, 2008)

fiore said:


> I was on match.com for about three weeks - no dice.
> 
> This is probably a dumb question but....
> 
> ...



I am a man in his mid-50's, divorced 7 years and definitely an admirer of BBW's.
I, too, was rejected by e-harmony after filling out their lengthy questionnaire. It has nothing to do with size..I'm 150#
What I can tell you is that I've had very good experiences with BBW Datefinders...see no evidence of fake at all. I have met about 7 or 8 women through that sight, and have had three long term relationships from that. I like them, too, because they don't automatically renew the membership at the end of the period signed up for...most of the others do.


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## GTAFA (Sep 22, 2008)

I saw the Coen brothers' recent film BURN AFTER READING. It's an amazing film that reminds me a bit of MR & MRS SMITH, not just because Brad Pitt is in both. What I love about the film (both films come to think of it) is the way the plot conflates the deception of spying with the deception of mating. In the Coen film the fake identities of spies are shown to be just like the fake identities of online dating sites, with heartbreak and lies for all.

I bring this up to suggest that the film is a wonderful cautionary tale for anyone trying internet dating and feeling bad because they're not doing well. I am not gonna say it's all a scam --it's not -- but people have to recognize that magic is not something you can manufacture. There's a lot of truth to what Raqui said (that these sites aren't really meant for large folks), but in fact, that's an understatement. These sites aren't for PEOPLE. You can't reduce romance to formulas, can't simply make a wishlist and then expect him/her to pop out of the screen or the printer, like some kind of output.

If affairs of the heart didn't hurt, you'd never know they matter. Nothing worthwhile is easy.


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## Webmaster (Sep 24, 2008)

Dating sites and systems work, sometimes. Anyone who expects miracles or otherwise has unrealistic expectations will be disappointed. Anyone who gives them a fair chance and doesn't erupt in anger and frustration when Mr. or Ms. Right doesn't materialize in a week or two may well succeed.

Over the history of Dimensions there've been many different ways to connect. We had personal ads in the print magazine, sometimes many hundreds in each issue. Sometimes I had to shake my head over the stereotypical wording of ads (Somewhat exaggerated, a male ad might read "Seeking supersize BBW, must weigh over 400 pounds and have big boobs. Must love sex and oral." and a female ad might read "SSBBW seeks tall, dark handsome male, wealthy and marriage-minded, must love children and be willing to relocate.") Ummm... not gonna work, both.

Many people met through those ads, and many married. Later, people met (and meet) through chat, our forums, and even the DMS system I put up some six or seven years ago. I spent a huge amount of time customizing it for our community, but a major system crash nuked much of the work days before it would have gone live. What was left has been the Dimensions Matching System that runs all by itself and hasn't been maintained by me for years.

Bottomline is that various dating systems do work. Not for everyone and not instantly, but if you go about it the right way, they do work. We have plenty of evidence right here. It's just a matter of doing it the right way. 



Dibaby35 said:


> Okay so I'm trying to date again. So yeah I signed up for a few sites. Granted I realize the ones I signed up for our not BBW orientated. But I never have any luck with finding someone local on the BBW sites. Anyways why oh why do these sites that claim to match you up perfectly, always match me up with guys that put in their profile that their perfect girl would be "average, thin, athletic, fit". It's like just about every guy. I don't get it. When I didn't put that as what describes me. UGHHHH sorry just aggravated..such a huge waste of time.


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## adriantcu (Sep 28, 2008)

I really can't add anything to this, I totally agree. Like anything, some people have positive results with certain things, while others have negative experiences. While I amid that some dating sites are worse than others, most sites actually work very hard to find real success and give users a positive experience.



Webmaster said:


> Dating sites and systems work, sometimes. Anyone who expects miracles or otherwise has unrealistic expectations will be disappointed. Anyone who gives them a fair chance and doesn't erupt in anger and frustration when Mr. or Ms. Right doesn't materialize in a week or two may well succeed.
> 
> Over the history of Dimensions there've been many different ways to connect. We had personal ads in the print magazine, sometimes many hundreds in each issue. Sometimes I had to shake my head over the stereotypical wording of ads (Somewhat exaggerated, a male ad might read "Seeking supersize BBW, must weigh over 400 pounds and have big boobs. Must love sex and oral." and a female ad might read "SSBBW seeks tall, dark handsome male, wealthy and marriage-minded, must love children and be willing to relocate.") Ummm... not gonna work, both.
> 
> ...


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## Dibaby35 (Oct 2, 2008)

Don't you just love it when you talk to someone for a few weeks and everything looks great..then "poof" they disappear...then show up on msn again but don't send you a pm. Hell no I'm not sending one to him..LOL..whatever..just tired of putting out an effort I swear. I'm just gonna try and focus on getting out of the house. Just need that thing called money and a babysitter


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## jewels_mystery (Oct 2, 2008)

Dibaby35 said:


> Don't you just love it when you talk to someone for a few weeks and everything looks great..then "poof" they disappear...then show up on msn again but don't send you a pm. Hell no I'm not sending one to him..LOL..whatever..just tired of putting out an effort I swear. I'm just gonna try and focus on getting out of the house. Just need that thing called money and a babysitter



OMG. I hate when they do that!!!!! If your not interested, just say so. uggh


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## intraultra (Oct 2, 2008)

I have had "luck" on dating sites in the past. I met one of my ex's on one and met a good friend on another. However, I haven't met anyone worthwhile for the past couple years, though I haven't been truly looking either.

Anyway, yesterday, I got one of the BEST messages ever and thought I'd share:

_"Dont know about music but i do love those boobies lol"_

I couldn't believe it. I didn't even bother sending an angry response.


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## JMCGB (Oct 2, 2008)

intraultra said:


> I have had "luck" on dating sites in the past. I met one of my ex's on one and met a good friend on another. However, I haven't met anyone worthwhile for the past couple years, though I haven't been truly looking either.
> 
> Anyway, yesterday, I got one of the BEST messages ever and thought I'd share:
> 
> ...


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## disconnectedsmile (Oct 2, 2008)

Dibaby35 said:


> Okay so I'm trying to date again. So yeah I signed up for a few sites. Granted I realize the ones I signed up for our not BBW orientated. But I never have any luck with finding someone local on the BBW sites. Anyways why oh why do these sites that claim to match you up perfectly, always match me up with guys that put in their profile that their perfect girl would be "average, thin, athletic, fit". It's like just about every guy. I don't get it. When I didn't put that as what describes me. UGHHHH sorry just aggravated..such a huge waste of time.


you could always try craigslist. from my experience, plenty of FAs and BBWs and the like seem to gather there.


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## SoVerySoft (Oct 3, 2008)

oooh oooh! I want to rant. LOL

I was chatting with a guy that I'd met on one of the dating sites. It was a first chat, and about 7 lines into it...he writes this:



> So tell me a little about you like what do you do? do you live alone? what do you like to do for fun and vacation? Do you smoke? Drink? Prescription drugs for anything high blood pressue etc



OMG, do you think he wants me to turn on my cam, open my mouth and let him check my teeth??? The prescription drug question really threw me.

holy moly.


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## Lovelyone (Oct 3, 2008)

SoVerySoft said:


> oooh oooh! I want to rant. LOL
> 
> I was chatting with a guy that I'd met on one of the dating sites. It was a first chat, and about 7 lines into it...he writes this:
> 
> ...


 
You know SVS, I think we both attract the same kinda guys. I was chatting with someone online who asked me how much I eat, cos...wait for it....his mother ate herself to death and he just wouldnt be able to stand losing another fat lady in his life. I told him, "I eat normally, like you do. On occasions, such as holidays and birthdays, I do have more than I should but its not an everyday occurance." His response was, "tell me exactly how much--morsel by morsel--that you would eat on one of those days, cos I will be able to tell if you will be alive in ten years." 
my response? "Nice to meet you, find a good psychiatrist, have a good life," Sign out and block.

gah some men!!


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 5, 2008)

Lovelyone said:


> You know SVS, I think we both attract the same kinda guys. I was chatting with someone online who asked me how much I eat, cos...wait for it....his mother ate herself to death and he just wouldnt be able to stand losing another fat lady in his life. I told him, "I eat normally, like you do. On occasions, such as holidays and birthdays, I do have more than I should but its not an everyday occurance." His response was, "*tell me exactly how much--morsel by morsel--that you would eat on one of those days*, cos I will be able to tell if you will be alive in ten years."
> my response? "Nice to meet you, find a good psychiatrist, have a good life," Sign out and block.
> 
> gah some men!!



Yeah........I just BET he was worried about your health...... 


This makes me wonder if he is a guy that thinks he is smarter than all the others when he SUBTLY asks your weight and measurements instead of asking right off the bat....


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## kayrae (Oct 7, 2008)

Lovelyone, you made me laugh.


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## Lovelyone (Oct 7, 2008)

kayrae said:


> Lovelyone, you made me laugh.


 
Im glad that got a laugh out of you Kay, isnt that what life is all about-- enjoying the moment??


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Oct 8, 2008)

Oofcus. 

Online dating.

First of, there's a whole lot of bait-and-switch paysites out there. LargeFriends was one of those last time I checked. They SAY they have a free membership, but then it turns out you have to get a paid membership to actuallly send and recieve emails and communicate, instead of just exchanging winks.

BBWRomance is nice, but there just aren't enough people on it, and its search system is incredibly frustating. You can select all kinds of criteria, but you can't actually look for a bleeding KEYWORD! >_<

I've found that online dating comes with a whole new realm of irritating cliches. Gone are walks on the beach and candlelit dinners. What's in is down to earth, laid-back, fun-loving real women seeking real men (apparently androids and clones need not apply). Fun-loving, as opposed to all those people who hate having fun? >.< Seriously, this stuff sounds like something and tells me nothing. 
Further annoyance comes from extremely vague stuff. =o Oh, you like movies, books, and music too? Wow! I thought I was the only one! I assumed everyone else spent their free time staring at dryer lint. There''s no need to specify a genre of books, movies, or music, or what particular books and films are your favorites, because somebody who enjoys Romantic Comedies will get along with somebody who likes Scifi-horror films. A big fan of 18th-century english literatuer is totally compatable with somebody who is devoted to dan brown and neal stephenson. I'm sure that a hardcore punk rock devotee is a perfect match for the leader of the Polka appreciation society 


And what is up with people who post their personal ads in all caps? >.<

I try to avoid any possible mix-ups by being very specific and using a lot of keywords and "don't message me if" statements.


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## MimiMelons (Oct 8, 2008)

i totally understand i have met mor emarried men and attached men online its aweful its like i look forward to getting married one day just to get cheated on !!!! and i agree pof is the best so far after u ignor the pervs,lol


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## Lovelyone (Oct 9, 2008)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> Oofcus.
> 
> Further annoyance comes from extremely vague stuff. =o Oh, you like movies, books, and music too? Wow! I thought I was the only one! I assumed everyone else spent their free time staring at dryer lint. There''s no need to specify a genre of books, movies, or music, or what particular books and films are your favorites, because somebody who enjoys Romantic Comedies will get along with somebody who likes Scifi-horror films. A big fan of 18th-century english literatuer is totally compatable with somebody who is devoted to dan brown and neal stephenson. I'm sure that a hardcore punk rock devotee is a perfect match for the leader of the Polka appreciation society


 
Okay so I am that woman. I am the one that says "I like books, dining out, movies, music...etc". I say that to leave an opening for the man to make conversation with me. If I come right out and say "I like Chicken Soup for the Soul books, dramas, country music, hate most sports, dont like sleeping with someone on the first date" that hardly leaves room for making conversation, and finding out OTHER things about the person that you might find intriguing. I find too often that I am the one that makes the conversation, gives too much info and gets nothing in return from the other person. This is one of the reasons that I dont just blab out EVERYTHING that I like directly. There is nothing I hate more than having a conversation with myself.


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## Les8 (Oct 9, 2008)

Dibaby35 said:


> Don't you just love it when you talk to someone for a few weeks and everything looks great..then "poof" they disappear...then show up on msn again but don't send you a pm. Hell no I'm not sending one to him..LOL..whatever..just tired of putting out an effort I swear.



Oh my goodness that bugs the hell out of me. Happened recently too lol Just be a man and say it's not working or something along those lines!


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## Dibaby35 (Oct 9, 2008)

Les8 said:


> Oh my goodness that bugs the hell out of me. Happened recently too lol Just be a man and say it's not working or something along those lines!



The one guy magically reappeared..said he is working out of state now and surprised the text message even got through he's in the middle of nowhere in wyoming. Now isn't it sad that my first feeling is I don't believe him at all. Sigh..I hate that I don't believe him. Anyways he'll be back on Saturday I guess. We'll see.


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## SamanthaNY (Oct 9, 2008)

Dibaby35 said:


> The one guy magically reappeared..said he is working out of state now and surprised the text message even got through he's in the middle of nowhere in wyoming.



Working out of state? Is he on a secret mission or something? Or, wait - I know. That was during the time when there was a state-wide power blackout. All all the batteries died too. No internet. And he was instantly dropped in that middle of nowhere with no warning. Or preparation. Where he's working alone. Without ability to contact anyone. Yeah, that's the ticket. 



Dibaby35 said:


> Now isn't it sad that my first feeling is I don't believe him at all.


I'd say that was instinct... smacking you in the head and trying to protect you. Very not sad. At all. 



Dibaby35 said:


> Sigh..I hate that I don't believe him.


I hate that you hate that. I wish you clung to that like a gift and loved it. 



Dibaby35 said:


> We'll see.


I believe you will. And that's unfortunate.

~~~~~~~~

I wish there was a way for everyone to find a great love. Like - all the ones that are wrong for you would fart green smoke, or something. That'd make it so easy :happy:.


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## Dibaby35 (Oct 9, 2008)

Sam you always make me laugh girl and I loveeeeeee your advice as always. He's in construction and we all know the construction business is crappy so it is a bit believeable that he could go out of state. But really how hard is it to send a two second text saying hey going out of state for work..bbs. 

It's just all the years of being treated like crap that makes me not believe him. Thats the sad part. But yeah. I'll just keep him as a friend and not expect anything more than that.


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## Les8 (Oct 9, 2008)

I agree with Samantha that it was probably instinct. I've def. learned the hard way to always go with your gut feeling lol


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## CTHye (Oct 10, 2008)

Lovelyone said:


> Okay so I am that woman. I am the one that says "I like books, dining out, movies, music...etc". I say that to leave an opening for the man to make conversation with me. If I come right out and say "I like Chicken Soup for the Soul books, dramas, country music, hate most sports, dont like sleeping with someone on the first date" that hardly leaves room for making conversation, and finding out OTHER things about the person that you might find intriguing. I find too often that I am the one that makes the conversation, gives too much info and gets nothing in return from the other person. This is one of the reasons that I dont just blab out EVERYTHING that I like directly. There is nothing I hate more than having a conversation with myself.



I completely agree with Lovelyone here.
As a man, this has been my experience as well...getting little in return, particularly when the original contact was through an internet dating site as opposed to in the daily walk of life.
It's good to leave things open to mutual discovery!


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## TallFatSue (Dec 19, 2008)

I have no personal experience with dating web sites, because my husband & I met the old fashioned way back in the 1970s, when we practically tripped over each other as university students. However this morning my husband e-mailed me something interesting that one of his coworkers forwarded to him. I guess this is from some kind of city statistical web site, but they have a general forum area kinda like we do.

Gee, I must have made a positive impression last night. My husband & I were invited along when his company took some of their engineering clients out to dinner for Christmas. At my size, I'm never quite sure how people might react when they see how big I am, but it was perfectly fine. 



> Art:
> 
> I'm glad Paula and I finally got to meet your wife last night. Sue is a charmer.
> 
> ...


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## JoeFA (Dec 19, 2008)

Dibaby35 said:


> Okay so I'm trying to date again. So yeah I signed up for a few sites. Granted I realize the ones I signed up for our not BBW orientated. But I never have any luck with finding someone local on the BBW sites. Anyways why oh why do these sites that claim to match you up perfectly, always match me up with guys that put in their profile that their perfect girl would be "average, thin, athletic, fit". It's like just about every guy. I don't get it. When I didn't put that as what describes me. UGHHHH sorry just aggravated..such a huge waste of time.



They're probably just trying to match as many people as they can and hope they all say "oh hey, that's lucky" and don't notice that none of your preferences in the opposite sex match.

Bastards....


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## BigBeautifulRed (Dec 19, 2008)

I have thought about searching on those to find BBW women in my area to go out with as friends but I realize it's all for romance as well so I don't but it would be cool if there were some kind of BBW friendship site where you could find local women for friendship


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## amber83 (Dec 19, 2008)

I met a man on bbpeoplemeet.com in Jan 2007 and we were together nearly a year. I did meet a man on IRC, which ended up being a rather painful experience, and I haven't been involved with anybody since. 

I'm not sure what my problem is, I just seem to attract the immature crazies!


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## vcrgrrl (Dec 19, 2008)

Dibaby35 said:


> Okay so I'm trying to date again. So yeah I signed up for a few sites. Granted I realize the ones I signed up for our not BBW orientated. But I never have any luck with finding someone local on the BBW sites. Anyways why oh why do these sites that claim to match you up perfectly, always match me up with guys that put in their profile that their perfect girl would be "average, thin, athletic, fit". It's like just about every guy. I don't get it. When I didn't put that as what describes me. UGHHHH sorry just aggravated..such a huge waste of time.



I know EXACTLY what you mean. I've never had any luck with personals online.


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## HollyGirl (Dec 29, 2008)

im currently on pof. 

i absolutly hate it when i go out with a guy and when i dont sleep with them on the first date, they are done? its not like i make a big deal out of it. just make it clear ( body language style) that im not interested in you stripping me down on your doorstep and screwing me on the front porch swing. I mean, are there women who actually go for this shite? Who does that? eh... im currently frustrated as hell with this one guy. WE go out, we talk and then nothing. WTF? Tell me your not into me or something? dont just dissapear! thats so immature. i feel like showing up at his house and say "WHAT!?!?!? you gonna ignore me now motherfucker?" sorry i would never do that but i really really wanna! lol


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 29, 2008)

HollyGirl said:


> im currently on pof.
> 
> i absolutly hate it when i go out with a guy and when i dont sleep with them on the first date, they are done? its not like i make a big deal out of it. just make it clear ( body language style) that im not interested in you stripping me down on your doorstep and screwing me on the front porch swing. I mean, are there women who actually go for this shite? Who does that? eh... im currently frustrated as hell with this one guy. WE go out, we talk and then nothing. WTF? Tell me your not into me or something? dont just dissapear! thats so immature. i feel like showing up at his house and say "WHAT!?!?!? you gonna ignore me now motherfucker?" sorry i would never do that but i really really wanna! lol



Yeppers....the world of dating has gotten to be a big cesspool with some of them. Makes me appreciate the good ones, indeed 

You get a date before they start??? Lucky gal....I usually get them sending me penis pics and asking for nudes......or them pushing me for a promise of sex upon a simple first meet up. Doesn't matter if the nice ones don't call me back....hasn't been the first one that didn't and probably won't be the last....at least I had fun.....and that seems to be the most important thing


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## HollyGirl (Dec 29, 2008)

it really makes me wanna just give up.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 29, 2008)

HollyGirl said:


> it really makes me wanna just give up.




I see that in two ways:

1.When you stop looking is when you usually find someone.

however.....I'm a stubborn bitch and I have always had to work hard and take a lot of shit to get what I want.....so this is no different for me 

I will say when enough is enough......I posted my ad on CL for the third time- it has gotten me some nice dates. Remembering those nice ones makes it okay to keep digging through the pile of shitty guys. 

You...and the nice guy you are hoping for, are worth the effort


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## HollyGirl (Dec 29, 2008)

i hope so.. im about one guy short of getting some cats.


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## SweetNYLady (Dec 29, 2008)

Simply speaking... internet dating sites are awful... been on a few, even am on 2 right now.... So lately I've been weeding out the "I want sex only" perverts (you know the ones... they talk about finding a REAL relationship in their profile but then start out their notes to you with the statement "NICE BOOBS!") Sadly I have found that weeding the sex only pervies doesn't leave many guys waiting for a response from me lol

I did go out with a nice guy last week though from one of the BBW profile dating sites. He was very respectful, kind, fun and funny. AND! He could hold a conversation which was a great thing!

Anyway, he hold me he was interested in me, even called me after to make sure I got home ok (I drove to NJ to see him) and then called each day for for a few days to talk. Hoping to see him again this week, but we'll see... haven't heard from him since Saturday. 

Wish all of it could be much easier than it usually turns out to be :doh:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 29, 2008)

Good Luck to you, NY Lady!!


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## SweetNYLady (Dec 29, 2008)

Awww thank you, Green eyed fairy... I really appreciate your nice sentiment


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## Rowan (Dec 29, 2008)

I personally havent had any luck with the dating sites since moving back to Florida. I got asked on one date, and got stood up...should have expected that since he was young....

and then i put an ad on Craigs List of all places and met a decent guy there, wicked smart (apparently all i can date looking at my track record lol) (but as my mom pointed out, looks like my ex husband....or to me a tiny bit like bruce valanch or kevin smith, but adorable lol)

But hey...i hung out at his house this last friday night and watched a movie and slept over and he was a TOTAL gentleman...it was a very nice change


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## Cors (Dec 29, 2008)

Rowan said:


> I personally havent had any luck with the dating sites since moving back to Florida. I got asked on one date, and got stood up...should have expected that since he was young....
> 
> and then i put an ad on Craigs List of all places and met a decent guy there, wicked smart (apparently all i can date looking at my track record lol) (but as my mom pointed out, looks like my ex husband....or to me a tiny bit like bruce valanch or kevin smith, but adorable lol)
> 
> But hey...i hung out at his house this last friday night and watched a movie and slept over and he was a TOTAL gentleman...it was a very nice change



Yay I hope it works out for you! You deserve it. <3


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## HollyGirl (Dec 29, 2008)

that would be so awesome! i hope it works out for you


now.. if i could only stop kissing all these frogs.... and find a prince.. hell i'd settle for a serf with some clout at this point!


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## SuperMishe (Dec 29, 2008)

HollyGirl said:


> i hope so.. im about one guy short of getting some cats.



Heyyyyy - I resent that - I have cats!!... But come to think of it - no man :blush::doh: LOL!


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## LalaCity (Dec 30, 2008)

Ugh -- I'm on an internet dating site at the moment (for which I've forked over a several months' membership) and the few guys to whom I'm attracted never write me back...but I receive _endless_ messages from guys with handles like "Porkhunter," "ThongSlammer," And "BlubrHumper." Seriously -- when I see handles like that I am so grossed out I don't even bother to read their letters.

It's really depressing. I'm ready to give up altogether.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 30, 2008)

LalaCity said:


> Ugh -- I'm on an internet dating site at the moment (for which I've forked over a several months' membership) and the few guys to whom I'm attracted never write me back...but I receive _endless_ messages from guys with handles like "Porkhunter," "ThongSlammer," And "BlubrHumper." Seriously -- when I see handles like that I am so grossed out I don't even bother to read their letters.
> 
> It's really depressing. I'm ready to give up altogether.




I have had much better luck with a Craigslist Ad......it's easier to meet locals that way, too. 
Though, you still have to wade through all the shitty replies to find a few good ones.....hey but some of the nicer dates have been worth it


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## ImSoDead (Dec 31, 2008)

My wife and I met on searchpartners. So, yes it does work but you just have to be persistent. I was 37 when we met which I means I spent decades looking for the right one. In terms of getting dates, I found better luck at the BBW dances.

Bottom line, use all avenues of meeting people -- online, dances, family, friends, co-workers, etc. Oh and in my personal experience, talking on the phone beats email and chat. And in person is better than the phone. People like me tend to lose interest if too much time is spent between initial contact and finally meeting face to face. If you don't want to give out your phone #, then arrange to meet in a public place. Just make sure you use email/chat to weed out the duds quickly and resist the temptation to use it to build a relationship.

Personal Experience: Years ago, I used to flirt with a sales rep in a nearby city. I was invited to her office for a presentation and we arranged to meet for lunch earlier in the day. We were both excited about meeting each other because we had been flirting for some months. However when we finally met, we were at a loss for words! Neither of us looked at all like how the other imagined and we both struggled to reconcile the reality with the memory and imagination. In other words, the chemistry evaporated as soon as we met in person. It was totally weird and disappointing! To this day I wonder if we had met sooner if things would've turned out differently.


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## Rowan (Dec 31, 2008)

I have an ad on Plenty Of Fish and have met a couple decent people to talk to online there...and i get notification of a new message today only to open it and get this:

_From: lovingadonis3415 (View Profile) (View All Correspondence) 
Subject: New Begining Sent Date: 12/31/2008 11:21:04 AM 

Hi there my name is Rod and I am a personal trainer here in Gainesville. With the begining of a new year I would like to offer you a free workout and training session at the Gainesville Gym. I have over 28 years of experience along with over 14 first and secong bodybuilding trophies including a former Mr. Central Fl. I specialize in bodyfat and weight reduction. Please email me back so we can get together. _


Uh....yeah...dont think so....*clicks delete*


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## HollyGirl (Dec 31, 2008)

i swear to god i get one of those i will not only report him to POF, I'd report him to the BBB and on top of that, file a harrasment complaint 

thats bullshit!


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## pearlovingfa (Dec 31, 2008)

Rowan said:


> I have an ad on Plenty Of Fish and have met a couple decent people to talk to online there...and i get notification of a new message today only to open it and get this:
> 
> _From: lovingadonis3415 (View Profile) (View All Correspondence)
> Subject: New Begining Sent Date: 12/31/2008 11:21:04 AM
> ...




Rowan,
You just have to laugh at this idiot, and know that he is missing out on one hot good looking sweet chick. Now take this compliment and strut that fine body around and find that FA that is ment for you.

Pearlovingfa


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## ekmanifest (Dec 31, 2008)

I got one from a personal trainer in Mexico who wanted me to marry him so he could live here and he would live we me and personally train me. Swear ta God.


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## jewels_mystery (Jan 1, 2009)

Rowan said:


> I have an ad on Plenty Of Fish and have met a couple decent people to talk to online there...and i get notification of a new message today only to open it and get this:
> 
> _From: lovingadonis3415 (View Profile) (View All Correspondence)
> Subject: New Begining Sent Date: 12/31/2008 11:21:04 AM
> ...




What a loser.


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## jewels_mystery (Jan 1, 2009)

I am registered on a couple of sites and having no luck. Guys contact me but they are more interested in a net relationship than something in real time. Don't get me started on the married/committed/living with someone losers that contact me. Last year I met a real piece of work. Exchanged several emails and phone calls. I was really starting to like the guy. All set to go on a date then he nicely informed me that unless I confirm that I was going to put out on the first date, we weren't going out. I told him to keep it stepping. You would think that would be the end of it. I got a email about 7 months later and knew it was him because of the email address. Well it was from his long term girlfriend. Somehow she got into his email account and was responding to his emails. Don't ask me why he kept my emails. They were together for over 10 years and he brought home numerous diseases to her. She pleaded for me to get checked out if I was intimate with him. After I got over the initial shock, I replied back that is never went beyond emails. Then I suggested to her that she deserved better and should move on.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 1, 2009)

jewels_mystery said:


> I am registered on a couple of sites and having no luck. Guys contact me but they are more interested in a net relationship than something in real time. Don't get me started on the married/committed/living with someone losers that contact me. Last year I met a real piece of work. Exchanged several emails and phone calls. I was really starting to like the guy. All set to go on a date then he nicely informed me that unless I confirm that I was going to put out on the first date, we weren't going out. I told him to keep it stepping. You would think that would be the end of it. I got a email about 7 months later and knew it was him because of the email address. Well it was from his long term girlfriend. Somehow she got into his email account and was responding to his emails. Don't ask me why he kept my emails. They were together for over 10 years and he brought home numerous diseases to her. She pleaded for me to get checked out if I was intimate with him. After I got over the initial shock, I replied back that is never went beyond emails. Then I suggested to her that she deserved better and should move on.



Parts of this reminds me of some of my own online encounters.


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## littlefairywren (Jan 1, 2009)

I belong to a couple of dating sites too and still get creeped out by the ones who are married and looking for some "discreet fun times"! And yes, some of their user names are like waving a red flag at a bull. I have started to google some of the user names from guys who sound half way decent and you would be surprised at some of the stuff they get up to. I am no prude, but some of it makes me feel ill!


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 1, 2009)

kmdkml said:


> I belong to a couple of dating sites too and still get creeped out by the ones who are married and looking for some "discreet fun times"! And yes, some of their user names are like waving a red flag at a bull. *I have started to google some of the user names from guys who sound half way decent and you would be surprised at some of the stuff they get up to*. I am no prude, but some of it makes me feel ill!





I like this idea.....


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## jewels_mystery (Jan 3, 2009)

kmdkml said:


> I belong to a couple of dating sites too and still get creeped out by the ones who are married and looking for some "discreet fun times"! And yes, some of their user names are like waving a red flag at a bull. I have started to google some of the user names from guys who sound half way decent and you would be surprised at some of the stuff they get up to. I am no prude, but some of it makes me feel ill!



hmmm I have to try that out. Thanks for the suggestion.


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## littlefairywren (Jan 3, 2009)

jewels_mystery said:


> hmmm I have to try that out. Thanks for the suggestion.



Your'e welcome. A girl can't be too careful, especially online!
Good luck


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