# Fa's and your own Weight



## Haunted (May 2, 2009)

This is kinda inspired by the why are you fat thread on the health board, as i was reading i noticed that i wanted to respond but didn't want to derail that thread, so here's my own version.

Oddly and i'v heard this from a couple other Fa's that although I love BBW's and SSBBW's and am slightly into feeding and encouraging. i am against gaining weight myself. I was an overweight kid my mother and i did weight watchers together etc etc. i'm not slim by any means, i'm currently 5'11" and i vary between 190 and 220 lbs. 

as i read through the thread on the health board i realized that i do love food, and at times in my life have overindulged, but i usually try to limit myself. i honestly for myself don't want to be much bigger than i am. on top of that when i was much younger Before i even knew anything about Fa's and BBW's i had fantasy's about being bigger and experimented with Clothes stuffing. 

The question i have for myself i guess is, am i an Fa that Should be a BHM? or Am I an fa and all that previous adolescent stuff was just a way to discover i prefer a fat partner ! 

Honestly i was never very confident when i was heavier and never felt comfortable at that weight i think i was around 280 at my heaviest, i feel great around 190. The funny thing was last summer i got down to around 190 and was finally back in a 34 waist pant and i was psyched, but i'm dating a Beautiful SSBBW and it seemed very strange to celebrating my weight loss while i adored and worshiped her Big curves.

Thoughts or similar experiences?


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## Jon Blaze (May 3, 2009)

My tendencies towards being an FA arose when I was "Chubby." I wasn't much bigger than I was now, but I was a lot shorter which gave my peers the appearance that I was really big. 

At the same time I was learning about Size Acceptance and HAES, which changed my perspective drastically on size and my relationship with my body. I was active while I was that size, but my whole concept behind it changed from always striving to improve how I look, to always striving to improve/maintain how healthy, fit, and functionally able I was. Those are still my main laws of working out today. That and I learned to love to exercise too.  

I do have days where my body image goes down the tubes, but it's more often because my body isn't working right (Like my knee screwing with me while I was trying to work my legs  ) than how it looks, even though I still have those days. I'm not into gaining for myself or others, and I don't care about how my body looks so much as how it functions.


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## Mini (May 3, 2009)

I'm about 220, give or take. Haven't weighed myself in about 6 months, and don't really care either way. I'm not interested in gaining personally, as I don't like how I feel when I get much heavier than I am now. I've got chronic back pain that's exacerbated immensely when I carry much more weight and don't exercise. 

I guess that didn't really answer your question, but there ya' go.


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## The Orange Mage (May 3, 2009)

I'm naturally thin, there's heart and blood pressure issues in my family, and I like the contrast of my thin, hard body and her soft, curvy body. I'm fine where I'm at!


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## furious styles (May 3, 2009)

i've had weight issues my whole life, i was pretty big at various stages as a kid and never really dipped bellow 'chubby' until after high school when i was on almost a starvation diet and dropped to my adult low weight of around 160 pounds. mind you i have a very large frame and i looked just very ... "not right" for me. since then i've been at my highest adult weight, back down, and really all over the place. i also go on gym tears where i'll work out 5-6 days a week and drink protein shakes and pack on a bunch of muscle then get completely burnt out on it. i find myself losing again right now but who knows how long that will last.

in terms of how it relates to my FA-ism, when i was bigger as a kid i experimented a bit with indulging and weight gain fantasies and things of this nature but ultimately it never really did it for me. i did it again later in life too but once again found that it just really doesn't work. however, though i wouldn't call myself a feeder, i do appreciate and am turned on by indulgence and WG in my partner .. so who knows. it's a weird, long road and i don't care enough to parse it down to every last detail.


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## Judge_Dre (May 3, 2009)

I've recently lost 15 pounds and I'm very proud of that. I love it when people come up to me and tell me I great I look now. It's not that I think fat is ugly, isn't just not for me. I love fat on women, but I feel more comfortable being a thin man. In fact, the greater the size difference between me and my girlfriends, the sexier I think it is. I would compare it to the any couple you have seen where the guy is a muscular bodybuilder type and the woman isn't. Just because a girl is attracted to big muscles, doesn't mean she wants 22 inch biceps.


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## HDANGEL15 (May 3, 2009)

*as a women loving big guys ...I have struggled with my weight all my life, much like some of the posters here already......I have not really ever desired to be larger, but have fantasized it and played with it minimally. Ultimately I would love to be the *HARD BODY* in contrast to his soft yummy fluffiness *


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## moniquessbbw (May 3, 2009)

This is a very interesting topic. It is good to see the other side of things. When I was younger I dated a guy who was a personal trainer. I always wondered why a fit hard body guy wanted an ssbbw back then. I do prefer when the man is smaller than me, it just seems to be a better fit.


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## Mathias (May 3, 2009)

I'm naturally thin and wish I wasn't. Sometimes I hate it.


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## Webmaster (May 4, 2009)

Haunted said:


> ... The question i have for myself i guess is, am i an Fa that Should be a BHM? or Am I an fa and all that previous adolescent stuff was just a way to discover i prefer a fat partner!...?



You're not alone there. I've heard this story from FAs many times over the years. I think it's just a natural part of our fascination and love affair with fatness and being/getting fat. As far as I am concerned, FAs should experience and enjoy all aspects of their orientation, whatever that may be. That does not mean, however, that just because we prefer a fat partner, we need to be a certain body type ourselves.


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## stan_der_man (May 4, 2009)

Webmaster said:


> You're not alone there. I've heard this story from FAs many times over the years. I think it's just a natural part of our fascination and love affair with fatness and being/getting fat. As far as I am concerned, FAs should experience and enjoy all aspects of their orientation, whatever that may be. That does not mean, however, that just because we prefer a fat partner, we need to be a certain body type ourselves.



I definitely agree Conrad, and I think the variety of body sizes we FAs have also works out for the large sized people as well. Many of the large sized people don't necessarily want to have a large sized partner.



Mathias said:


> I'm naturally thin and wish I wasn't. Sometimes I hate it.



I can completely relate to what you are saying Mathias. When I was younger I was always very thin and I also hated it. People would complement me if I looked like I gained weight. I sometimes wonder if part of my attraction to fat is some form of "fat envy", I've always admired those who could easily grow fat and wanted to gain weight myself. Only since passing the age of 30 have I been able to gain weight and fill out somewhat. When I realized I could gain weight, I attempted to do so in an unhealthful manner and paid the consequences health wise. I again lost weight but have gained it back eating more healthy food. I suppose my situation is the classic "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence..." like fat people who wish they were thinner and thin people (such as myself...) wishing they were fatter.


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## Melian (May 4, 2009)

I'm a very small woman, to the point where I have insults hurled at me for looking "anorexic" or just generally "gross." I'm sure that if I gained 15-20 lbs and reached a "healthy" BMI the insults would stop, but honestly....fuck 'em. Why should I have to change to appease some random assholes?

Also, it sounds so shallow, but my main reason for staying thin is the fact that I don't have enough money to replace my *awesome* wardrobe. Oh, and I guess my fiance likes my body the way it is....


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## Tad (May 4, 2009)

Well, I'm one of the sort of FA where my being fat has always appealed just about as much as my partner being fat. Right from when I first felt fat as being erotic, it was as almost a bond between me and a partner, both fat. My FA side is stronger than my wanting to be fat myself, but not by all that much.


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## Mathias (May 4, 2009)

fa_man_stan said:


> I can completely relate to what you are saying Mathias. When I was younger I was always very thin and I also hated it. People would complement me if I looked like I gained weight. I sometimes wonder if part of my attraction to fat is some form of "fat envy", I've always admired those who could easily grow fat and wanted to gain weight myself. Only since passing the age of 30 have I been able to gain weight and fill out somewhat. When I realized I could gain weight, I attempted to do so in an unhealthful manner and paid the consequences health wise. I again lost weight but have gained it back eating more healthy food. I suppose my situation is the classic "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence..." like fat people who wish they were thinner and thin people (such as myself...) wishing they were fatter.




I can't seem to gain weight no matter what I do. All of my friends think it's great, but my legs are so skinny that I'm embarrassed to wear shorts.


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## stan_der_man (May 4, 2009)

Mathias said:


> I can't seem to gain weight no matter what I do. All of my friends think it's great, but my legs are so skinny that I'm embarrassed to wear shorts.



I completely understand Mathias, I've been there. In some ways people can be just as harsh on thin people (and refer to them as wimps etc...) as they are on fat people. We all have to make due with what we have in life, we all find a certain comfort zone at some point and acceptance for who we are by others. You'll find that place also, perhaps here in Dimensions or elsewhere.

As for gaining weight, all that worked for me was old age and more protein.


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## Durin (May 4, 2009)

Fat or skinny it's always hard to learn to live with yourself in your own skin.

I have always been chubby but in my approaching middle age I have definatly fallen into the BHM catagory. In fact by the Goverment charts I am very fat but I have never much trusted the goverment charts.


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## Cors (May 5, 2009)

Melian said:


> I'm a very small woman, to the point where I have insults hurled at me for looking "anorexic" or just generally "gross." I'm sure that if I gained 15-20 lbs and reached a "healthy" BMI the insults would stop, but honestly....fuck 'em. Why should I have to change to appease some random assholes?
> 
> Also, it sounds so shallow, but my main reason for staying thin is the fact that I don't have enough money to replace my *awesome* wardrobe. Oh, and I guess my fiance likes my body the way it is....



I can relate to all of that! 

I'm close to my set-point, actively gaining or losing will take too much effort. I get an equal amount of "too thin" and "too fat" comments at this weight anyway, so they kind of cancel each other out.


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## mergirl (May 5, 2009)

edx said:


> Well, I'm one of the sort of FA where my being fat has always appealed just about as much as my partner being fat. Right from when I first felt fat as being erotic, it was as almost a bond between me and a partner, both fat. My FA side is stronger than my wanting to be fat myself, but not by all that much.


This, exactly.
I have gained quite a bit of weight recently unintentionally, i think about 3 st in about a year. My gf doesnt want me to gain any more. She is not an Fa, so that is fair enough. 
When i was younger my fantasies were 50/50 thinking about others and myself being fat. I think now that i can have (well have) a partner who is fat, i would say that percentage has shifted slightly to fantasies about myself being fat. I am happy with my body now and was also happy with it when i was thinner. Gaining weight in real life wouldn't be a turn on for me i dont think, as it would be fraught with more insecurity than pleasure.. i guess this ties into my Fa guilt too. I'm sure i have more to add but i can't think right now.
Hmm..Good question Haunted!!. x


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## CCC (May 5, 2009)

I'm 150. Never been higher, never want to be (unless it's muscle). I've actually been pretty insecure about my own weight for most of my life, and I sometimes find myself shocked at comments I make at the dinner table ("I had a soda yesterday, so none today!" or "Hey [Friend X], what do you think has less calories- the chicken tender wrap or the caesar salad?"). I'm by no means anorexic, but I scare myself sometimes with the way I start thinking...

I don't really think this has anything to do with being an FA...
What I want for myself and what I'm looking for in a partner are two different things, and that's fine.


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## blackghost75 (May 7, 2009)

I've always been tall with a slender build. I'm 6' 165lbs. I have a very high 
metabolic rate,I'm also an athlete martial artist  I've never had a problem 
with my weight and I very much like the way that I am Now,I've had very few 
bbw's that I had an interest in,and they would have a problem with my weight!!!
And say things like "you need to put on some weight" And me knowing me,knows that putting on weight is very hard for me!! Then I've had the bbw's that took me as is,and loved me  They also loved my figure


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## mergirl (May 7, 2009)

hehe 'The bbws'. You make it sound like they are a clan or a tribe of creatures! Like the Amazons....
Hmmm..actually ..i'm off for some 'me time'!


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## SoliloquyOfaSiren (May 8, 2009)

:doh: Our society focusses so much on weight...

But anyways....alot of it is the contrast....being an FFA if we polled the BHM board, I'm pretty sure theyd agree...not saying they wouldnt date a bigger girl, bc people on here are the least shallow when it comes to looks, body sahpe, etc (I love it here) Just like I prefer fat men....but will date a thinner guy if the personality is there.

Me I've been up and down...roller coaster really....at the moment I'm 116. It's completely normal how your thinking. once again, if we poll the FA/FFA board, a large majority (estimating here) would say that they do feel compelled to be thinner...many of us have had or do have ED's. This is a very interesting topic....its a phenomenon I dont think Ill be able to try to explain at 7 in the morning...

Hope all is well everyone!


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## SoliloquyOfaSiren (May 8, 2009)

Sorry for saying "poll" incessantly...I feel like Im starting to act like Ross Perot :doh:


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## cammy (May 8, 2009)

I'm thin, but not skinny - 5'4" and 127 lbs. I've never weighed much more and likely never will, but I have fantasized about being heavier - fat is just so damn sexy. 

What the heck is ED? eating disorder, erectile disfunction, Ed (of Ed TV)???


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## Cors (May 8, 2009)

cammy said:


> I'm thin, but not skinny - 5'4" and 127 lbs. I've never weighed much more and likely never will, but I have fantasized about being heavier - fat is just so damn sexy.
> 
> What the heck is ED? eating disorder, erectile disfunction, Ed (of Ed TV)???



Eating disorder.


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## SoliloquyOfaSiren (May 8, 2009)

cammy said:


> I'm thin, but not skinny - 5'4" and 127 lbs. I've never weighed much more and likely never will, but I have fantasized about being heavier - fat is just so damn sexy.
> 
> What the heck is ED? eating disorder, erectile disfunction, Ed (of Ed TV)???



lol..... Erectile dysfunction hahahaha....yeah I meant eating disorder. but for the sake of shits and giggles and the creativity...i think we'll say its erectile dysfunction...

Cammy, thank you so much, that put a smile on my face


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## Chef (May 8, 2009)

Admirer/encourager, and also to myself.  Just wish it would stay on, very hard for me to gain.


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## GoldenDelicious (May 9, 2009)

mergirl said:


> This, exactly.
> I have gained quite a bit of weight recently unintentionally, i think about 3 st in about a year. My gf doesnt want me to gain any more. She is not an Fa, so that is fair enough.
> When i was younger my fantasies were 50/50 thinking about others and myself being fat. I think now that i can have (well have) a partner who is fat, i would say that percentage has shifted slightly to fantasies about myself being fat. I am happy with my body now and was also happy with it when i was thinner. Gaining weight in real life wouldn't be a turn on for me i dont think, as it would be fraught with more insecurity than pleasure.. i guess this ties into my Fa guilt too. I'm sure i have more to add but i can't think right now.
> Hmm..Good question Haunted!!. x


I loved your body when I met you (3 stones lighter) and I love your body now. Indeed I am not an FA and ideally you will stay the same as you are now, however I will love you and fancy you whatever weight you are. You are beautiful outside and in xx


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## nykspree8 (May 14, 2009)

So now I have a question for the ladies  I've always wondered what body type bbw/ssbbw tend to be more attracted in us guys. I guess it's all just a matter of preference, but when I see a bbw/ssbbw in public like 8/10 they are with guys who are average weight or have some meat on them. Very few do I notice with skinny guys. Anyone else notice this? Or am I just totally off :doh:


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## Chode McBlob (May 14, 2009)

I was never overweight at all. In fact I used to be underweight. I'm 5'11" and about 170 - 175 lbs. I used to be 135 lbs. I eat what I want when I want. But I don't eat large quantities of food. I don't eat much at all. But if I'm more physically active like after a bike ride then I'm more hungry. As to why I'm an FA I just know I'm more attracted to women that are soft bodied with luxurious padding. Not that I don't find thin wome attractive but certainly not scrawny thin women. Just give me a BBW any day, even an SSBBW.


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## Slamaga (May 14, 2009)

LOL I like it!  so here's my weight : 155 pounds approximately I didn't weight myself for two years I think.


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## StarWitness (May 15, 2009)

I'm an overweight FFA (5'4, 14/16 top, 18/20 bottom), and I want to lose weight-- not a lot, maybe two pant sizes. I don't know how much I weigh, since I did have problems with an ED in high school, and I find numbers to be triggering. I've dealt with body image issues my whole life.

And, of course, I'm into BHM, and I've fantasized about encouraging (although I don't know that I'd actually do it IRL). I feel like such an awful hypocrite, and I hate the fact that I hold myself to a completely different standard than I do every other person of size.


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## mithrandirjn (May 20, 2009)

I've always been overweight, but not to a serious degree. I'm naturally pretty broad and have always had very thick leg/calf muscles, so me ever being "small" is out of the question.

I'd say I'm a shade under 6'0 and weigh about 225. I've never really been thrilled about being bigger myself, though I remember late in high school when I got to a point in my life when I said "You know what? You're not THAT big, and if you carry yourself with confidence, then why bother feeling all that bad about it?"

So yeah, I work out when I can and I've tried to clean up my eating habits a bit over time (my eating habits were definitely always the source of my being overweight), and I want to get down to around 200-210 or so, but it's not something I let hurt me anymore, since I don't let fears about my weight control my social life. 

I do suppose one could say there's something hypocritical about a FA who doesn't want to be fat themselves, but that's just me; I don't feel good about myself if I get too big, so I don't intend on getting so.


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## msmorga1 (May 21, 2009)

I am 5'11" and 185lbs. I've always been an athlete, and I don't plan on changing that. In the past I have felt guilt about being an athlete who was also an FA, but in recent weeks have come to better terms with the notion. I am still not entirely at peace with the idea, and suspect that I never will.


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## Van (May 21, 2009)

I am 5"2 and I weigh 180 pounds. I have been an FA since I was a kid. I have had the desire to be fat since I was a kid too as well as the desire to be a bodybuilder. Crazy I know. I have tried to get fat on purpose to playing sports and working out and losing weight and back to gaining weight on purpose to joining the military and losing it again and back to gaining weight. It has been a viscious cycle in which I wish it would break. I just wish I was happy with whatever size I am. I just wish I was happy with the way I am now. I just want to know what would really make me happy.


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## dynezt (May 21, 2009)

moniquessbbw said:


> This is a very interesting topic. It is good to see the other side of things. When I was younger I dated a guy who was a personal trainer. I always wondered why a fit hard body guy wanted an ssbbw back then. I do prefer when the man is smaller than me, it just seems to be a better fit.



I'm planning on being a personal trainer next year and I'm into big girls.
I'm about 5'7 and weigh 65kg (145lbs). I want to gain weight, but mainly just muscle because of my future career.


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## Van (May 21, 2009)

I am studying to be a personal trainer. Yet I battle my fantasies at the same time.


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## mergirl (May 21, 2009)

hehe.. its funny.. ive noticed a lot of Fa's are personal trainers!! Wonder why!?


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## viracocha (May 26, 2009)

mergirl said:


> This, exactly.
> I have gained quite a bit of weight recently unintentionally, i think about 3 st in about a year. My gf doesnt want me to gain any more. She is not an Fa, so that is fair enough.
> When i was younger my fantasies were 50/50 thinking about others and myself being fat. I think now that i can have (well have) a partner who is fat, i would say that percentage has shifted slightly to fantasies about myself being fat. I am happy with my body now and was also happy with it when i was thinner. Gaining weight in real life wouldn't be a turn on for me i dont think, as it would be fraught with more insecurity than pleasure.. i guess this ties into my Fa guilt too. I'm sure i have more to add but i can't think right now.
> Hmm..Good question Haunted!!. x


I'm in a similar spot, mergirl. I probably gained around 20 lbs since last fall, and it's clear that the boyfriend doesn't like it. He doesn't frown upon it or treat me differently, though. In general, I've always been tall and athletic, if not occasionally chubby. I use that word relatively, because I've never been bigger than a size 14 or smaller than an 8. I never thought about weight gain, either my own or another's, until I explored being an FA. It is something of a fantasy, but I'm satisfied with my body and whatever the boyfriend wants for himself. So, I suppose in answer to the original question, I'd say that an FA's relationship with their own weight and their orientation is dependent upon their unique relationship: it's completely based on each individual and their own sexuality.


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## Esther (May 26, 2009)

Although I am attracted to big men, I've been heavy before and I personally do not feel comfortable that way. I was born with club feet as a child which, though they were corrected, gave me knee problems which gave me hip problems which will, I'm sure, eventually give me back problems... (you know how it goes). Added weight complicated these issues. I do not carry weight well AT ALL and I actually have to work rather hard to keep it off. It kind of sucks.


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## marlowegarp (May 26, 2009)

I think the solution to the disparity between one's size and one's partner's is to find a partner who likes their size. I'm happy at 170-190. That's all I got.


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## nykspree8 (May 27, 2009)

mithrandirjn said:


> I do suppose one could say there's something hypocritical about a FA who doesn't want to be fat themselves, but that's just me; I don't feel good about myself if I get too big, so I don't intend on getting so.



Lol, yeah kinda hypocritical, but I think like you do and am self conscious about my weight. I'm 185 and 5'11, but was probably around 210-215 a few months ago and felt like a fat ass. I'm usually between 175-185, so anything close to 200 and yeah my wardrobe becomes nothing but stripes LOL. I carry my weight well cause I've always played sports and worked out, but I just don't like being anywhere near 200lbs.


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## Jon Blaze (May 27, 2009)

mithrandirjn said:


> I do suppose one could say there's something hypocritical about a FA who doesn't want to be fat themselves, but that's just me; I don't feel good about myself if I get too big, so I don't intend on getting so.



I don't know about that. A lot of the people we admire may not necessarily like their partners to be fat as well. That's a factor you have to also consider. Your desires vs. their desires. 

It's always about compromises though. Maybe if you were to encourage a gain when it wasn't warranted, and you yourself (FA/FFA) had no special situation with you partner. That might be hypocritical.


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## bdog (Jun 4, 2009)

nykspree8 said:


> Lol, yeah kinda hypocritical, but I think like you do and am self conscious about my weight. I'm 185 and 5'11, but was probably around 210-215 a few months ago and felt like a fat ass. I'm usually between 175-185, so anything close to 200 and yeah my wardrobe becomes nothing but stripes LOL. I carry my weight well cause I've always played sports and worked out, but I just don't like being anywhere near 200lbs.



i like being athletic. i like women who are much softer. i like being in relationships with women who are perfectly content with this arrangement as well. no hypocrisy involved.


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## bbwsrule (Jun 11, 2009)

I don't see any conflict with own body and desired body of your mate. The ground has been covered pretty well here. I have no interest in being fat personally. I feel like I think many others that muscular=masculine, soft & fat = feminine. Of course that is my taste and others, especially FFA's, see it quite differently. 

My wife isn't interested in me being fat either which is a good thing. Not that she likes her weight either, but she knows how I feel (which is that it is a preference only, by no means a requirement). I don't dwell on it much perhaps because I know that I wouldn't want her to dwell on specific features of mine (to too great an extent). I love HER, she loves ME which is what most people want anyway. If there is mutual turn-on with being fat that is great but it certainly isn't necessary in my case.


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## mergirl (Jun 12, 2009)

I dont think there is a problem, nor should there be any conflict is you are attracted to fat people but dont want to be fat yourself. Its like a woman loving guys and being in conflict because she doesnt particularly want a sex change. Well, its not really anything like that.. but i thought i would put that out there!


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## nikola090 (Jun 13, 2009)

I've been always thin and think that I'm a natural thin boy . Don't know if a big girl could make me a gain effect...
...however the opposite as attracted ,that's right??:blush:


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## bufbig (Jun 13, 2009)

I was chubby when I was younger, but thinned out tremendou sly once I hit my teenaged years. I don't mind gaining a little weight, but I never want to keep it on and I don't really like how I like with more weight. I'm more interested in trying to gain muscle mass instead of fat. 

Overall I'd like to remain between 160 and 180 (at 163 currently).


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## NemoVolo (Jun 19, 2009)

I'm 5'2 and have never really been thin. For a while my weight leveled out at 170, then I hurt my knee and was less mobile which buoyed my weight to about 200. Then I comfort-ate my way to 220, then the freshman 15 (or so) got me to 240-245. I've bounced around there for a little and I really would like to slim down, at least to 200. Only reason is I don't like my lovehandles being bigger than my hips; shirts don't fit right. 

But I like big guys and I'm into weight gain, but not so much if he's _trying_ to gain it on purpose. I like him the idea of his obliviously indulging in his favourite foods until he strains his clothes. If I encourage him to eat another slice of pizza or so, no harm no foul!  I think it's the sadist in me that wants his denial...:blush:

I'd like to be thin, but I'm pretty laid-back (nice way to say lazy, really) so chances are I won't be losing anytime soon. My health would benefit, though, so I might get on that. I dunno. I like food.

As long as any skinny guy makes it obvious he's an FA, then I don't mind staying so much bigger. Especially if he's got the natural thin body that's soft because he doesn't work out to keep that way :wubu:


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## anybodys (Jun 19, 2009)

like a lot of the people here, i love contrast. the last guy i dated was fourteen inches taller than me and weighed almost three times as much as i do, and i loved feeling tiny and helpless with him. i'm small but not thin... try to maintain but i'm not obsessive about it, although sometimes i go through a phase where i'm trying to lose a whole bunch of weight and it never works. so usually i just say fuck it, my body wants to be the size it is and no other.


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## garbled (Jul 2, 2009)

I am 5 10 and about 230 lbs i am very broad built, I played prop forward at rugby, but i dont think you need to be a big guy to be FA any more than i would expect BBW's to be attracted to big guys only, we are attracted to who or what attracts us our physiology is incidental


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## mergirl (Jul 3, 2009)

I'm trying to lose a bit of weight at the moment. Well i guess i'm just trying not to get any fatter. My Gf is not an Fa so fair is fair.


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## joswitch (Jul 6, 2009)

mergirl said:


> hehe 'The bbws'. You make it sound like they are a clan or a tribe of creatures! Like the Amazons....
> Hmmm..actually ..i'm off for some 'me time'!



ROLFLMAO! You rule Mergirl!


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## joswitch (Jul 6, 2009)

fa_man_stan said:


> I completely understand Mathias, I've been there. In some ways people can be just as harsh on thin people (and refer to them as wimps etc...) as they are on fat people. We all have to make due with what we have in life, we all find a certain comfort zone at some point and acceptance for who we are by others. You'll find that place also, perhaps here in Dimensions or elsewhere.
> 
> As for gaining weight, all that worked for me was old age and more protein.



Dudes! when I was like 13 - the kids at school called me "Belsen Boy!" 
how wrong is that!?? I was not much shorter than I am now and yet was waaaay spindly - like picked up and blown away by the wind into a muddy puddle thin! (ok only once and it was very windy, but still)... 

By 16 I was just under 6' 2" (my adult height) and 135lbs...
Two years on when I finished my "A" levels, age 18, I went into the mountains of the Scottish highlands and did nothing but hike all day, eat loads and sleep - I came back nearly 10lbs heavier, all muscle...
Still way thin, but *wiry* which was ok...

And I pretty much stayed that size til I got to 30 years old and I started doing ninjutsu (having done a few other martial arts off and on over the years)... we had to *learn to roll on concrete floors* at the time... 

Sensei "roll diagonally from your shoulder to your hip, so you roll on the soft parts of your body"
I was like - "what soft parts?"

Anyhow - long story short, a couple of serious campaigns of scientifically focussed *progressive* weight training/eating a LOT of protein (like one campaign a year long, one 18 months and maintaining in between... dullsville) and I jumped to first 158lbs and a few years later 170lbs ish... pretty much half and half muscle/fat... which is fine by me... still around that now 3years on...

I have tried to push my body further, but started damaging my tendons/joints so I backed off...

Why did I push myself so hard to build strength and muscle...?
and to stay relatively trim?
- my whole adolescence was filled with girls telling me I was too skinny, I figured girls like muscles, so... and it turns out that quite a few do (though of course not all)
- self-defence -I got beat up a lot at school! as an adult I can protect myself/those I love better (when I've had to)... partly due to improved skills but strength helps too...
- lifting heavy things, including BBWs - useful and fun... I worry if there was a fire and my lover was unconcious would I be strong enough to get her out of the boat/building? you wouldn't believe how many back of envelope calculations I've done on that one!
- being strong = handy during sexy times!:blush:
- I do *love* the contrast between my body and my BBW lover, also I don't really like to look down and see bits of me (my belly) in the way - I want to look at *her*
- although I fantasise somewhat about being pushed to gain by a feeder chick (partly why "switch") I've never been involved with one so, meh... 
- I don't feel I have the male build to look good (IMO) as a fat dude... I'm small boned (stupid skinny wrists!) not "husky" all over.. and when I gain a lil' chub I just get a little pot belly on an otherwise pretty thin body... not a look I like much... especially as I'm a bit of a "dachsund" (short legs long body)

On the other hand loving BBWs has le me to chill out about gaining some - I don't really worry about getting fat as long as I'm strong an healthy... A friend of mine said he had way more big girls hit on him when he was big, so.... It's mainly skinny birds that hit on me as things are! :doh:


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## mergirl (Jul 7, 2009)

joswitch said:


> ROLFLMAO! You rule Mergirl!


I do?? haha.. what in a kinna 'lord of the flies' kinna way??


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## joswitch (Jul 7, 2009)

mergirl said:


> I do?? haha.. what in a kinna 'lord of the flies' kinna way??


Yus! exactly like that! but maybe with fewer spears and severed pigs heads... though y'know I'd need to check your fridge to confirm that!


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## GoldenDelicious (Jul 7, 2009)

mergirl said:


> I'm trying to lose a bit of weight at the moment. Well i guess i'm just trying not to get any fatter. My Gf is not an Fa so fair is fair.


Just for the record my darling, I know that I am not an FA but I love your body and I don't want people to think I have asked you to lose weight. Like the walrus of love gorgeous BHM Barry White would say, 'I love you just the way you are' xxx :wubu::wubu:


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## mergirl (Jul 7, 2009)

GoldenDelicious said:


> Just for the record my darling, I know that I am not an FA but I love your body and I don't want people to think I have asked you to lose weight. Like the walrus of love gorgeous BHM Barry White would say, 'I love you just the way you are' xxx :wubu::wubu:


Yeah, i know.. but i can take or leave melt in the middle chocolate pudding..
lmao..you said 'walrus of love' ..is it wrong to be slightly turned on..?? lmao
awww.. thats nice though.. actually where is the cake??


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## anybodys (Aug 8, 2009)

A little story called Anybodys Is Forced to Recognize Her Own Hypocrisy.
A gentleman (and I use the term loosely) acquaintance of mine told me, a couple days ago, that I was too fat to model for life drawing classes at the local college. (he works as one, and I'd asked him to inquire about hiring for me) Now, I'm a size 2. I consider myself petite. I do have a very big ass, which I'm rather proud of. And if someone tells me, "wow, you have a huge ass," I say "thank you." But this acquaintance of mine was commenting on my weight in a rather critical way, and when I said that my boyfriend happens to like my body a great deal, he said, "well, he'd probably still do you if you were in shape." 
Yesterday, I was pouting to a BHM ex about this, and he said, "Why does that bother you?" I was kind of at a loss for an answer. He continued, "You chase after people you call chubby or fat, and you're obviously not, so why would it bother you?" 
And it did raise the question. I find fat attractive on others, so why am I insulted by being called chubby? It also brings to mind when I was making out with someone a few months ago, and playing with his belly. When he grabbed my stomach and said, "Oh, you've got a little there too," and I squirmed, he said "So you can dish it out but you can't take it?"
Long story short, I kinda suck. Anybody else suck in the same way? And why do we suck like that? Thoughts?


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