# FA Fantasy Relationship Girls?



## superodalisque (Jul 7, 2009)

is there is a gap in FA exposure? all men can view porn, all men can view real women. but, there is something in the middle that i feel non FAs get that FAs don't-- they get to have the fantasy relationship girl too. she is the girl who bridges the gap between just sexual titilation and emotional connection with a real woman. these women don't seem to exist for FAs online or anywhere else. where is an FAs Angelina Jolie? where is the FA image of a beautiful, nurturing, intelligent women? where is his complete partner? discuss!

there are lots of beautiful women who are fat on the web but none of them seem to have a romantic twist. they seem to be either a cute fetish oriented fantasy-- or pure porn. i'm not sure, but i am beginning to feel that the lack of or rarity of romantic womanly images for FAs might be an important thing when it comes to guys having a hard time being able to make the transition from fantasy to real. am i way off base? if you have found images to the contrary i'd love to know where they are. please post links etc... here. i would love to be wrong!

Note: i am not talking about sexy women per say but women who are put out there as romantic love interests. there are lots of sexy and beautiful BBWs out there but where are the ones who are put forward as romantic images rather than just sexual ones?


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Jul 7, 2009)

I think you have a good point. Of course, many of the more romantic type of women will probably be found on the dating websites, not a place like Dimensions.

Perhaps it might be nice to read more romance stories in the story section, though.

Also, part of the problem might be that the attraction between BBWs and FAs is still viewed by the larger culture as a fetish.

This is just conjecture, and I now yield the floor to others.


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## KendraLee (Jul 7, 2009)

CurvaceousBBWLover said:


> *I think you have a good point. Of course, many of the more romantic type of women will probably be found on the dating websites, not a place like Dimensions.*
> Perhaps it might be nice to read more romance stories in the story section, though.


Thats a good point as far as the women go but from my experience any of the men I've met from the dating sites were players, liars and cheaters. Men with a girlfriend or a wife was a common theme.


superodalisque said:


> Fantasy Relationship Girls?
> is there is a gap in FA exposure? all men can view porn, all men can view real women. but, there is something in the middle that i feel non FAs get that FAs don't-- they get to have the fantasy relationship girl too. she is the girl who bridges the gap between just sexual titilation and emotional connection with a real woman. these women don't seem to exist for FAs online or anywhere else. where is an FAs Angelina Jolie? where is the FA image of a beautiful, nurturing, intelligent women? where is his complete partner? discuss!
> 
> there are lots of beautiful women who are fat on the web but none of them seem to have a romantic twist. they seem to be either a cute fetish oriented fantasy-- or pure porn. i'm not sure, but i am beginning to feel that the lack of or rarity of romantic womanly images for FAs might be an important thing when it comes to guys having a hard time being able to make the transition from fantasy to real. am i way off base? if you have found images to the contrary i'd love to know where they are. please post links etc... here. i would love to be wrong!
> ...


As far as Fantasy relationship girls go, I'm not a web model but I'm still my mans fantasy and ideal in both body and mind. 
I'm not 100% sure about what your trying to say here but I dont think its so much a problem of there not being romantic love interests out there for FA's but more about what a particular FA is looking for. If he wants the fetish or porn he can find it and if he wants a relationship there are beautiful intelligent women all over this site and some of them are also web models


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## superodalisque (Jul 7, 2009)

KendraLee said:


> Thats a good point as far as the women go but from my experience any of the men I've met from the dating sites were players, liars and cheaters. Men with a girlfriend or a wife was a common theme.
> 
> As far as Fantasy relationship girls go, I'm not a web model but I'm still my mans fantasy and ideal in both body and mind.
> I'm not 100% sure about what your trying to say here but I dont think its so much a problem of there not being romantic love interests out there for FA's but more about what a particular FA is looking for. If he wants the fetish or porn he can find it and if he wants a relationship there are beautiful intelligent women all over this site and some of them are also web models



i'm sure you are fantasy and reality rolled up in one! i've met you and you could just about turn me into an FA. but what i'm talking about is a romantic female figure that men can fantasize about instead of one that is nearly purely sexual when he is a boy in his early developmental stages. you know, something like how girls play with dolls to kind of prepare them for thier roles as women? a girl can imagine while playing with her doll what kind of real life relationships she might like to have. will she stay at home? will her career come first? she can think all of that out. i think it might be similar with men and the images they are supplied with. and if FAs don't get to have a fat Angelina Jolie or someone similar to fantasize about does it make it more difficult for them make a connection between sexuality and reality since there is no transition image like other men have. i'm sure they can do it on their own, but would it be less work for them if they had the same tools and examples that other men have. would it be better for them if things like porn in the BBW world coexisted with romantic images of women women who are fat. would it socialize them better and make the transition from fantasy to real easier? so maybe instead of just thinking about her in terms of her body parts he can start earlier appreciating other things about women that will make it easier for him to form real and healthy relationships sexually an otherwise.


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## superodalisque (Jul 7, 2009)

CurvaceousBBWLover said:


> I think you have a good point. Of course, many of the more romantic type of women will probably be found on the dating websites, not a place like Dimensions.
> 
> Perhaps it might be nice to read more romance stories in the story section, though.
> 
> ...



lets clarify,the women on the dating sites are real. but the fact that a transition doesn't exist might be why people tend to treat the women online there like they are fantasy girls. for a lot of guys they are just something to get off on like they do on porn. i have been on a few and the majority just seem to be on there to cyber. its like they are looking for a free cam model or something.

but you have a point that most people won't think of a woman on dims as being the romantic type. especially people who don't know people here very well. this is one unromantic place in general. so you couldn't get that kind of image if you needed it here.


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## KendraLee (Jul 7, 2009)

superodalisque said:


> i'm sure you are fantasy and reality rolled up in one! i've met you and you could just about turn me into an FA. but what i'm talking about is a romantic female figure that men can fantasize about instead of one that is nearly purely sexual when he is a boy in his early developmental stages. you know, something like how girls play with dolls to kind of prepare them for thier roles as women? a girl can imagine while playing with her doll what kind of real life relationships she might like to have. will she stay at home? will her career come first? she can think all of that out. i think it might be similar with men and the images they are supplied with. and if FAs don't get to have a fat Angelina Jolie or someone similar to fantasize about does it make it more difficult for them make a connection between sexuality and reality since there is no transition image like other men have. i'm sure they can do it on their own, but would it be less work for them if they had the same tools and examples that other men have. would it be better for them if things like porn in the BBW world coexisted with romantic images of women women who are fat. would it socialize them better and make the transition from fantasy to real easier? so maybe instead of just thinking about her in terms of her body parts he can start earlier appreciating other things about women that will make it easier for him to form real and healthy relationships sexually an otherwise.


 
OK, now I get what you mean. But I think it all comes down to boys and girls being different and playing differently. for the most part girls are usually playing with dolls and playing house and boys, well I wasnt a little boy so they can fill in the blank. As far as a boy having a romantic fat role model its not like parents have a checklist and keep track of what types of women their son will find esthetically pleasing to make sure they develope a positive attitude towards their preference, besides even if they did figure it out early on that their son loved fat women most would probably do what they could to alter that. I think that for the most part both boys and girls are left to discover the traits and characteristics they like on their own. Teenage boys have a tendency to turn to magazines and the internet. Boys also find thier first romantic interests in teachers, friends moms, and family friends. I know for Keith when he was a very little boy there was a family friend who was fat and he used to love when she would come by and he'd get and give her hugs. The precurser to him liking fat women seemed to already be there. I think its really going to be up to us as parents, aunts and uncles to create the positive fat role model and for the men to show their sons beauty comes in all sizes and to provide them with a healthy understanding of sex and their own personal sexuality.
I hope Phil doesnt mind me relating this but at the last Jersey Bash I remember hearing a comment he made to his son. There were a bunch of women getting off the elevator and he said to him something to the affect of "look at all the beautiful women". I remember thinking that its the little things like that, that might make a person appreciate and respect women of all shapes and sizes. And Just the other day Keith said to me "I hope our son likes fat women", so I'm sure if we ever have a son he will instill that same healthy appreciation.


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## musicman (Jul 7, 2009)

superodalisque said:


> where is an FAs Angelina Jolie? where is the FA image of a beautiful, nurturing, intelligent women? where is his complete partner? discuss!




I know this isn't the answer you were looking for, but the type of woman you describe is not portrayed in the media, and never will be, as long as the media cartels know they can make huge profits by villifying every woman over 200 pounds as "horribly obese!" and "killing herself with food!". And their profits will be guaranteed as long as the public continues to believe the virulent anti-fat bullsh*t spewed out by the diet / weight-loss / medical / fashion industry. (And if they aren't making money from it, why do they continue to tell such blatant lies? It's obvious that they don't care about our health.) This is the battle that the fat acceptance movement is fighting. Sorry to be a wet blanket, but that's the world we live in, at least for now. We FAs have to create our fantasy women in our own mind, until we are lucky enough to find a real one (like my wife).


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## superodalisque (Jul 7, 2009)

KendraLee said:


> OK, now I get what you mean. But I think it all comes down to boys and girls being different and playing differently. for the most part girls are usually playing with dolls and playing house and boys, well I wasnt a little boy so they can fill in the blank. As far as a boy having a romantic fat role model its not like parents have a checklist and keep track of what types of women their son will find esthetically pleasing to make sure they develope a positive attitude towards their preference, besides even if they did figure it out early on that their son loved fat women most would probably do what they could to alter that. I think that for the most part both boys and girls are left to discover the traits and characteristics they like on their own. Teenage boys have a tendency to turn to magazines and the internet. Boys also find thier first romantic interests in teachers, friends moms, and family friends. I know for Keith when he was a very little boy there was a family friend who was fat and he used to love when she would come by and he'd get and give her hugs. The precurser to him liking fat women seemed to already be there. I think its really going to be up to us as parents, aunts and uncles to create the positive fat role model and for the men to show their sons beauty comes in all sizes and to provide them with a healthy understanding of sex and their own personal sexuality.
> I hope Phil doesnt mind me relating this but at the last Jersey Bash I remember hearing a comment he made to his son. There were a bunch of women getting off the elevator and he said to him something to the affect of "look at all the beautiful women". I remember thinking that its the little things like that, that might make a person appreciate and respect women of all shapes and sizes. And Just the other day Keith said to me "I hope our son likes fat women", so I'm sure if we ever have a son he will instill that same healthy appreciation.



exactly! healthy appreciation is great but not everything that goes on with FAs are for public consumption. not all men are going to be able to discuss thier private sex lives with their families even though that might be the healthiest. they could even come across profound objections. other men don't have to worry about that as much. but also not having cultural or societal examples around may be a problem. there are always going to be beautiful women who are fat IRL that FAs will love and admire. but what i'm saying is that there can be a real disconnect between porn and real. other men have a transitional image and FAs don't. what if they are having feelings and no one around them has the obvious appreciation that they do? what if they are having those feelings about someone it might be inappropriate for them to be having them about? they might not have much of an alternative. they do what a lot of people here might have been forced to do, that is turn to the net. so nearly the only images they get of BBWs is some type of porn --be it soft or hard. they may never get to see them in relationship mode or romance mode. so his private sexual experiences never get formed by women he would love spending time with in the light of day and his sexual associations might not necessarily be with having relationships or real intimacy. i mean think of how many non FAs gazed at thier treasured images of Sophia Loren etc.. and even had dreams of marrying her someday. 

for some guys there is nearly nothing in between. thier associations can get to be mainly furtive, illicit or taboo. so when they finally meet a BBW they might not relate to her in an appropriate way because they haven't had the kind of positive influence that kind of media might add to a young man's life. i sometimes wonder if thats why the opinion of some guys is that women who are fat are ok to sleep with but not ok to date or have relationships with even when they are FAs. some folks just haven't had much of an example or if they have they have been very few. non FAs are inundated with women who are the relationship type many FAs tend to get that rarely.


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## superodalisque (Jul 7, 2009)

musicman said:


> I know this isn't the answer you were looking for, but the type of woman you describe is not portrayed in the media, and never will be, as long as the media cartels know they can make huge profits by villifying every woman over 200 pounds as "horribly obese!" and "killing herself with food!". And their profits will be guaranteed as long as the public continues to believe the virulent anti-fat bullsh*t spewed out by the diet / weight-loss / medical / fashion industry. (And if they aren't making money from it, why do they continue to tell such blatant lies? It's obvious that they don't care about our health.) This is the battle that the fat acceptance movement is fighting. Sorry to be a wet blanket, but that's the world we live in, at least for now. We FAs have to create our fantasy women in our own mind, until we are lucky enough to find a real one (like my wife).



i agree that they are not out there. i think it would help FAs a lot if they were. maybe they wouldn't feel so odd and strange. i wonder also why we aren't providing them ourselves in SA. there is a very active BBW industry and you'd think someone would be doing it. they have already proven there is profitability in BBWs. i think regular media knows as well but they aren't telling. they'll use any excuse in the world to show BBWs in swimsuits or nearly naked because they already know the BBW porn market is 3rd and gaining on 2nd ( pun intended) there is a great deal of interest. i don't agree that no one ever will produce such a person. i think the time is coming. someone just needs the confidence and guts to believe in BBWs as a love object( excuse the term but i couldn't think of a better one) rather than just a sex object.


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## Captain Save (Jul 8, 2009)

Interesting concept.

I speak only from my own experiences; I can't explain the story for anyone else. When I was a young man in my teen years, I had to look around and decipher what I thought of as attractive and desirable. I couldn't just follow the crowd in this department; it's an individual thing for everyone, not just FAs. The peer pressure to conform did not help; I had to realize what pushed my buttons all by myself, regardless of the economic interests of the fashion industry or what was readily available for fantasy material. 

The advantage of the teen years is that a young man will eventually find out what causes the hormonally induced stupor, unless he lives in a cave or an abbott. The media endorsed images weren't really necessary, well not for me, anyway; the examples are at work, shopping in the grocery store, walking down the street in the springtime, etc. Sometimes they are the teachers in the classroom, or the nurse in the doctor's office, and like others, I had to deal with the uncontrollable physical reaction in that forum; I think we all just laugh about it in retrospect, even though we might die from embarassment at the time. In time, I learned to see the viability of the object of my desires in any light, good and bad hair days, having drinks at a reastuarant or bar with her friends, dealing with antagonistic people, etc. I began to see them as they really are, even when they themselves don't see it, and had to learn the hard way at times that although they seem to write the rules on what makes them appear desirable to the opposite gender, they may not be quite ready or trusting enough in others to be that person for someone else.


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## Tad (Jul 23, 2009)

First of all, I just :wubu: this thread, thanks SuperO, I think you articulated a really great point, and one that has not been discussed. 

First a few quick thoughts:

- I wonder if this discussion needs to happen on the FA board?

- I would imagine that the role of popular images in the formation of healthy relationship models must have been looked at by various people in academia. I would have not the foggiest clue of how to go about finding any of that research, but if someone else did and could give us a bit of a summary, I'd sure love to hear it. I'd imagine that such things play a role, but I have no idea of how significant a role.

- I know that as an adolescent I was starved for any depiction of fat women, and frustrated by both how few they were and how negative they were. This applied to movies, TV, and (for me mostly) books.

- I've often quipped that as I entered adolescence my entire knowledge of dating came from Archie comics. This is an exaggeration, but only a slight one. Most relationship stuff is not taught, not explained, but is more modeled by real life and fictional examples. I had lots of models of married adults, but not much in the way of dating teenagers, other than those Archie comics. Besides being a not overly realistic look at dating, they gave zero information on how to deal with the concept of dating outside of the mainstream, and certainly nothing that would be FA specific.



superodalisque said:


> for some guys there is nearly nothing in between. thier associations can get to be mainly furtive, illicit or taboo. so when they finally meet a BBW they might not relate to her in an appropriate way because they haven't had the kind of positive influence that kind of media might add to a young man's life.



I think this is an accurate observation. For most young guys their sexual desires in general are furtive and taboo....you aren't supposed to stare, not supposed to talk about those suddenly fascinating female body parts, not supposed to tell the girls how attractive you think they are....all the way up to lord forbid you get caught masturbating. Some parts of that sexuality you have models for how to tame and bring out into the open: the giving appropriate comments; that if you go to the beach with friends everyone knows the young guys will be gawking at the young woman and cut that behavior some slack; or that discussing which movie star you think is hot is considered OK. 

When you are a budding FA that normalization doesn't cover you as well (if there are fat girls at the beach they are probably wearing a bulky t-shirt, there are not only no fat female movie stars but fat characters aren't shown attractively, and so on), but a really key part of what you like--fat--is clearly not normal and something you feel you can't talk about. So it tends to stay on the furtive/taboo side of things until you are mature enough (when and if you are mature enough) to take ownership of your feelings and tell the world to just deal with it.

Aside from all the obvious sides of things, the lack of fat relationship modeling, or of 'outside of mainstream approval' relationship modeling in general, means that there is no source in which to learn things like "she might not want to go to a popular beach in her swimsuit, no matter how sexy you think she would look or even no matter how much you want to show her off" or "If you show off your preference with enough confidence (if not outright swagger) behind it, you can turn it from a minus in the social pecking order to at worst a neutral if not a plus" or even the very mundane "she might need larger jewelry of certain types to fit properly."

In short, I think that the lack of fat relationship models is probably apt to mean young FA are both lacking in awareness of size specefic issues, but are also to be behind in general relationship awareness/skills and handling of their sexuality because the modes in which most youngsters learn those things may seem only partly applicable to the young FA.

Sorry for ranting at such length.

-Tad


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## bdog (Jul 24, 2009)

The short answer, at least for me, is no, I don't need plus size romantic images to make the transition from sexual fantasy to real life person. 

Being on a date with a real person just feels different than looking at porn.

Also, there's an extremely high percentage of divorces where pornography is cited as a major factor. For better or worse I don't think this problem is restricted to BBWs/FAs.


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## bdog (Jul 24, 2009)

Hmm.. I would agree with Tad that, in very general terms, the lack of imagery does indeed have a negative impact on an FAs development. I was in such a thin-obsessed world that it didn't even OCCUR to me that I might like fat girls. The ability to repress is AMAZING. I think I had inklings that I might like the girl with the big thighs that sat next to me in class, but she wasn't very cool and wasn't in my particular clique so I just ignored those feelings. Being "cool" was really important back then. My first sexual experiences (with thin women) were dissatisfying, but I didn't know they were supposed to be any different. It was just kind of confusing...

So, I would say that the lack of imagery didn't affect my ability to transition from fantasy to reality. It affected my ability to see and accept reality itself. Porn, actually, probably helped put me in touch with that reality! 

Bottom line, though, is that we need more positive romantic BBWs in the media. I'm working on it.


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## PunkPeach (Jul 24, 2009)

When you question why any images get put out of men or women at all the answer is easier to see. Images of people in the media and online are used to sell things, we live in a commercial society. The romantic images of thinner women, although attractive, are not geared towards men, but women. That is not to say that men are not capable of having a softer romantic side, but it is women whose heart they are trying to capture when they use romantic ideals. I feel there is a major lack of bbw's and even real size women in our art and media as a culture, that is beginning to change, but change is slow on the side of more the artistic, romantic, and even showing role models to women who are not a size 2. Although I have noticed, showing that bbw's are a successful and profitable market, has led to a flood of media. I think it will just take time before the people responsible for this media get over their taboo with women of size, they have to adjust to the whole idea. I believe eventually they will learn, and given the commercial nature, they will find ways to parallel the same images used to market to a thin obsessed culture.


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## superodalisque (Jul 24, 2009)

PunkPeach said:


> When you question why any images get put out of men or women at all the answer is easier to see. Images of people in the media and online are used to sell things, we live in a commercial society. The romantic images of thinner women, although attractive, are not geared towards men, but women. That is not to say that men are not capable of having a softer romantic side, but it is women whose heart they are trying to capture when they use romantic ideals. I feel there is a major lack of bbw's and even real size women in our art and media as a culture, that is beginning to change, but change is slow on the side of more the artistic, romantic, and even showing role models to women who are not a size 2. Although I have noticed, showing that bbw's are a successful and profitable market, has led to a flood of media. I think it will just take time before the people responsible for this media get over their taboo with women of size, they have to adjust to the whole idea. I believe eventually they will learn, and given the commercial nature, they will find ways to parallel the same images used to market to a thin obsessed culture.



really great points. that makes total sense. i think the marketplace is a major player when it comes to the romantic ideal. and i do also think it is mainly aimed at women. but at the same time i remember marilyn monroe, farrah fawcett etc...they generated a lot of money from males. men went to see thier movies to even if it was wth a date. i'm sure there are a lot of women today who draw male fans too. its like a stealth romantic ideal almost. no one really acknowledges it but its there. what about all of the posters guys have pinned to thier teenage walls? maybe the true romantic ideal is aimed at women but those with edges tinged with sex appeal --maybe not quite so much? and if these women are successful at having power in the female marketplace is part of that because they have the admiration of men? what do you think?


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## chocolate desire (Jul 25, 2009)

Romance whats that?? Someone please clue me in.


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## exile in thighville (Jul 27, 2009)

i'm with mine, and i'm not just saying that to be romantic. there's something adorably sexist when you mack on who you jack on. we're so subcultural that our celebrities/ideal fantasy women are attainable - i've never seen a fat celebrity as hot as girls i've been with, either because they're covering up their body intentionally or they don't have it. sounds gross but it's a good thing! better to fantasize about someone you can meet or take an actual chance on than delude yourself into stalkerdom. not that dudes into thin girls can't score with models, actresses, etc. but there's so much pressure to not be yourself and become a persona - pickup artist lessons even! - so much damn sacrifice involved just to lock down a happy weekend it's hard to imagine enjoying the experience after you're done putting on all that makeup.


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## Haunted (Jul 27, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> i'm with mine, and i'm not just saying that to be romantic. there's something adorably sexist when you mack on who you jack on. we're so subcultural that our celebrities/ideal fantasy women are attainable - i've never seen a fat celebrity as hot as girls i've been with, either because they're covering up their body intentionally or they don't have it. sounds gross but it's a good thing! better to fantasize about someone you can meet or take an actual chance on than delude yourself into stalkerdom. not that dudes into thin girls can't score with models, actresses, etc. but there's so much pressure to not be yourself and become a persona - pickup artist lessons even! - so much damn sacrifice involved just to lock down a happy weekend it's hard to imagine enjoying the experience after you're done putting on all that makeup.



I get what your saying and agree to a point but i think those of us dating BBW Models or former Models will skew the results. Luna is a fantasy girl for alot of guys you just got lucky. 

also i think alot of the fa's may look at the woman on dim's as unattainable and im not just talking about paysite girls. there are alot of very beautiful and wonderful woman who are also looking for a great relationship. 

to answer the original post though when i think of a fantasy girl for an fa if i understand correctly what you are asking the first to come to mind is Anna Nicole, there really aren't many BBW or SSBBW as mainstream sex symbols.


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## exile in thighville (Jul 27, 2009)

lest i get attacked, i just want to define "attainable" as like, within your social realm, like someone you'd pass on the way to class. not to be mistaken for "easy" (i'm easier than most people on here). it's not about modeling either, there are hot models and there are hotties on here who decline to model. you go to a bash and they're full of the most beautiful women of our ilk, including models and readymade objects of your fantasy. trying to think of a hollywood equivalent, like say, some premiere for a mo'nique flick, it's hard to imagine an even more glamorous, VIP "upper level" to our universe. i brag kinda but i kinda don't; the fact i can snag a hottie means anyone can. and yeah, i got extremely lucky.


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## Fascinita (Jul 27, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> i'm with mine, and i'm not just saying that to be romantic. there's something adorably sexist when you mack on who you jack on.



I love the idea that this makes us a more egalitarian, non-elitist-BS form of community. Maybe fat is the equalizer.

But, uh, what's sexist about it?


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## furious styles (Jul 27, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> I love the idea that this makes us a more egalitarian, non-elitist-BS form of community. Maybe fat is the equalizer.
> 
> But, uh, what's sexist about it?



_fat_ is the great equalizer? oh shi-


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## Fascinita (Jul 28, 2009)

furious styles said:


> _fat_ is the great equalizer? oh shi-



Don't go to college, son. Get you a fattie, instead.


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## exile in thighville (Jul 28, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> I love the idea that this makes us a more egalitarian, non-elitist-BS form of community. Maybe fat is the equalizer.
> 
> But, uh, what's sexist about it?



ubjektufucashun


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## superodalisque (Jul 28, 2009)

Haunted said:


> I get what your saying and agree to a point but i think those of us dating BBW Models or former Models will skew the results. Luna is a fantasy girl for alot of guys you just got lucky.
> 
> also i think alot of the fa's may look at the woman on dim's as unattainable and im not just talking about paysite girls. there are alot of very beautiful and wonderful woman who are also looking for a great relationship.
> 
> to answer the original post though when i think of a fantasy girl for an fa if i understand correctly what you are asking the first to come to mind is Anna Nicole, there really aren't many BBW or SSBBW as mainstream sex symbols.



i think she might have been in some ways when she was a BBW and wasn't doing porn anymore. but even then she wass not really the type of woman i'm talking about. she had the rep for being kinda easy crazy and drug abusing. she had a checkered past that hadn't been cleaned up at all. could she be looked at as the relationship and sensual type. sensual ,yes, but relationship might be iffy? i'm talking about the one you'd be proud for your mamma and your guyfriends to meet.


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## Fascinita (Jul 28, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> ubjektufucashun



Well, objectification isn't necessarily sexist. Animals and children are objectified in ways that have nothing to do with sex (talking about portraying children as objects, as in pics that make you wanna go, "Awwww" or as in that article the other day about "Mommy, I don't wanna be fat.")

And we know that men are objectified, too. 

Objectification doesn't serve sex so much as it does consumerism. _Some_ objectification _is_ motivated or complicated by sexism, but _all_ objectification is about turning living beings into consumable goods. So I don't necessarily see modeling as objectifying in a sexist way--that's why my question!


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## exile in thighville (Jul 28, 2009)

i'm pro-objectification! it's somewhat rightfully seen as sexist though because the consequences of objectifying women far outnumber the stigmas for objectifying men. i.e. men seen as a players, women as sluts


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## Haunted (Jul 28, 2009)

superodalisque said:


> i think she might have been in some ways when she was a BBW and wasn't doing porn anymore. but even then she wass not really the type of woman i'm talking about. she had the rep for being kinda easy crazy and drug abusing. she had a checkered past that hadn't been cleaned up at all. could she be looked at as the relationship and sensual type. sensual ,yes, but relationship might be iffy? i'm talking about the one you'd be proud for your mamma and your guyfriends to meet.



See i took a fantasy girl as someone that might be out of reach or someone you may not want to bring home to mom. 

someone you would objectify and fantasize about. i think for fa's the woman that we open up to about our preference and the woman that accept us as we are, are the fantasy woman. What im trying to say is there is something much deeper to a bbw/fa relationship when the Fa is open about it and the BBW is accepting of herself. 

i keep retyping this. i keep wanting to explain more but just keeps coming out wrong


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## superodalisque (Jul 28, 2009)

Haunted said:


> See i took a fantasy girl as someone that might be out of reach or someone you may not want to bring home to mom.
> 
> someone you would objectify and fantasize about. i think for fa's the woman that we open up to about our preference and the woman that accept us as we are, are the fantasy woman. What im trying to say is there is something much deeper to a bbw/fa relationship when the Fa is open about it and the BBW is accepting of herself.
> 
> i keep retyping this. i keep wanting to explain more but just keeps coming out wrong



i have that same problem myself. this is kind of a hard thing to define. but i think in a way you have illustrated what i mean perfectly. i'm not sure you even have a concept of the kind of woman i'm talking about because they just aren't available to you in the media. to me fantasy does not really mean unattainable per say. it just means food for the imagination. 

have you found women within your preference presented in such a way in the media that thier personality and energy might even threaten to overtake your physical preference? is she so fantastic that her body might not always be the first thing you think about even though you found it devastating? those are the kind of women i'm talking about. does that make any sense?


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## Haunted (Jul 28, 2009)

superodalisque said:


> i have that same problem myself. this is kind of a hard thing to define. but i think in a way you have illustrated what i mean perfectly. i'm not sure you even have a concept of the kind of woman i'm talking about because they just aren't available to you in the media. to me fantasy does not really mean unattainable per say. it just means food for the imagination.
> 
> have you found women within your preference presented in such a way in the media that thier personality and energy might even threaten to overtake your physical preference? is she so fantastic that her body might not always be the first thing you think about even though you found it devastating? those are the kind of women i'm talking about. does that make any sense?



I think i get it now and like exile said "I have Her" Iv been given some flack for always talking about my personal relationship here. but seriously i can barely function with out her and when i see her i go all googly and stupid, my heart races, my legs get shaky. and im not just saying this to sound all romantic. i cannot stand being away from her and i yet i spend most days 3000 miles away. i have found my dream girl and she's a great big fat jiggly SSBBW and i love every little thing about her truly and deeply. and i still feel like i dont have the right words to properly convey just how much i love her. and how i desire her!


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## S13Drifter (Jul 28, 2009)

Well for me I have to quote Ludachris "Lady in the streets, but a freak in the sheets". By Lady I am talking about a woman who is just a woman. She doesn't have to act like she is gods gift or anything, just act like a woman living life no matter her size. Something needs to be done she does it. Now where the fact that she is a BBW comes into play is at home in the bedroom. There she can be as big as she wants. That is my "dream" girl


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## Szombathy (Jul 29, 2009)

These are some really interesting questions. I wonder whether the "images of the mainstream media" are as crucial to the younguns around here as they were those of us who are now in our thirties or older. I would say that with so many FA-related sites around it must be easier than it was for me to understand and accept your preferences. 

I think the question of "fantasy" is really only problematic in a "first" relationship of its kind. If a man has always wanted to be with a BBW but hasn't, or has only been with BBWs who have negative attitudes about their weight, he might obsess about the physical aspect first just because of his newness and might overlook problems of chemistry. The same might be true for feeders who have had an FA/BBW relationship but not a feeder/feedee relationship. But I think in fairly short order the traditional questions of compatibility would come up. And certainly, if an FA goes on to have another relationship, I think once the newness of being able to express yourself physically in the way that you want fades away, FAs become just like any other people in romantic relationships.

I also wonder whether some BBWs may be more sensitive to the objectification issue than other women. I imagine that there are two logical reactions to the experience of having your body be subject to negative attention, as I imagine many BBWs experience. One is to rebel against the negative by uncritically embracing any positive attention, which would certainly lead to unfulfilling relationships that were just about the sex. Another would be to reject the importance of physical appearance altogether in favor of reminding yourself of your other salutary traits. And I wonder if this second choice doesn't lead some BBWs to impute that FAs have a greater sense of a "fantasy" physical relationship than other men do when in fact that is not the case. 

Some level of objectification is impossible; in fact, it's difficult to delineate a bright line of difference between objectification and mere sexual desire. So long as there is a personality connection, I think a little obsession with one's partners physical traits is just fine.


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## superodalisque (Aug 3, 2009)

Szombathy said:


> These are some really interesting questions. I wonder whether the "images of the mainstream media" are as crucial to the younguns around here as they were those of us who are now in our thirties or older. I would say that with so many FA-related sites around it must be easier than it was for me to understand and accept your preferences.
> 
> I think the question of "fantasy" is really only problematic in a "first" relationship of its kind. If a man has always wanted to be with a BBW but hasn't, or has only been with BBWs who have negative attitudes about their weight, he might obsess about the physical aspect first just because of his newness and might overlook problems of chemistry. The same might be true for feeders who have had an FA/BBW relationship but not a feeder/feedee relationship. But I think in fairly short order the traditional questions of compatibility would come up. And certainly, if an FA goes on to have another relationship, I think once the newness of being able to express yourself physically in the way that you want fades away, FAs become just like any other people in romantic relationships.
> 
> ...



especially great points about objectification. i think in general its a good idea if as a BBW you try to go for balance there. i mean you shouldn't live your life to be just a physical image but you definitely shouldn't deny yourelf the priviledge of being appreciated in the physical sense either. doing either can probably end up making you feel that FAs in particular are bad guys. that because in either way you make the mistake in thinking. that is you'll stamp and expect all FAs as being focused on the physical. i think its probably important not to approach a guy on his physical preference anyway because there is an underlying assumption there that all you might be interested in is the body. and, if you treat a guy as if thats all he'll be interested in in you that can be a self fulfilling prophecy.


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