# Do you often feel conscious about the weight



## op user (Sep 26, 2019)

Having various friends on the largish side and particularly females I often found them to be more careful on how they sit on a chair or waiting to take the next lift rather than getting on the next one. 

Do you feel like that avoiding situations where your weight might attract attention?


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## SSBHM (Sep 26, 2019)

I've found overeating in public is both a turn on and also at times embarrassing. I guess it depends on reactions I get and the type of people that are looking at me. Therefore, I try to sit somewhere I feel like the people won't be too judgemental. I try to avoid sitting near skinny or thin pretty people. I don't mean to have a bias or anything, but this category of people seem to be much more judgemental toward me.

I'm also careful about where I sit. I worry about breaking something that might not support my weight. That's not maybe a big deal, but I am always conscious of the fact that I need to be careful about it. 

Meeting someone for the first time is interesting too. I worry that their reactions will either make me feel bad or worse, make me somehow angry. So, I try to think positively and be as cheerful as possible. It's definitely a very, very conscious effort.


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## Colonial Warrior (Sep 26, 2019)

Yes, in particular for the size of my belly.


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## nsandru (Oct 21, 2019)

Not at all. In fact I go shirtless most of the time, except for places where I have to wear a shirt. I don't care what others say about my protruding belly.


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## AmyJo1976 (Oct 22, 2019)

Nope..not at all. I spent too much of my life being self conscious about my size in the past. I wear my plus-sized badge with pride and pay no mind to haters!


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## BigElectricKat (Oct 22, 2019)

Generally, no. But I do avoid getting into an elevator with only one or two females on it. I just feel uncomfortable about the whole situation.


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## Shh! Don’t tell! (Oct 22, 2019)

BigElectricKat said:


> Generally, no. But I do avoid getting into an elevator with only one or two females on it. I just feel uncomfortable about the whole situation.



For real? Never even considered this. What’s your concern about it?


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## BigElectricKat (Oct 22, 2019)

Shh! Don’t tell! said:


> For real? Never even considered this. What’s your concern about it?


There have been a few sexual harassment cases where I work. At least one was a supposed groping in an elevator.


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## extra_m13 (Oct 22, 2019)

i must admit that i am mainly aware of the size of my belly. when is begins to look and feel like a really pot belly i do cut it a bit on the food side and try to eat better, of course i advice just the opposite to my lady


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## SSBHM (Oct 23, 2019)

I don't think I am clostraphobic but I notice in more confined spaces I bump into things. It's kind of fun or funny too. 
Still don't think I am that big. I work out and feel strong and just big, not really big.


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## Marshmallow Minotaur (Oct 23, 2019)

About the only time is in the kitchen/break room at work. There are booths to sit in. They are bolted and don’t move. I’m finding it increasingly difficult to get in and sit comfortably. Other than that I’m only conscious in a positive sense that I’m getting fatter.


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## Shotha (Oct 23, 2019)

As a gainer, I'm always conscious of my weight. I deliberately draw attention to it.

These days at meetings I always try to get a seat at the end of a row. If someone pulls an extra seat to the end of the row I ask, if we can swap places, "so that I don't space-invade on the people sitting either side of me." It draws attention to the fact that I'm both fat and considerate.


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## FlabbyFrank (Nov 11, 2019)

Airplanes and me don't mix well


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## plumprose (Nov 30, 2019)

Just when people stare


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## Hamham410 (Nov 30, 2019)

plumprose said:


> Just when people stare


Nice belly


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## alk27alk27 (Dec 1, 2019)

Hamham410 said:


> Nice belly


Hay man, don’t stare. It’s rude.


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## Shotha (Dec 1, 2019)

These days I just ask, "Why are you staring at me? Are you a chubby-chaser or something?"


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## bigbellyroll (Dec 20, 2019)

Yes. Especially around other women who are thin and traditionally attractive.


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## SSBHM (Dec 20, 2019)

bigbellyroll said:


> Yes. Especially around other women who are thin and traditionally attractive.


Not sure I'm going to say this right, but if there are thin women around a particular large attractive woman, I find the large woman all the more attractive.


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## Shotha (Dec 25, 2019)

I love being aware of my weight. The night before last I put on a spontaneous stand-up comedy show with a lady that I had only just met. My routine was almost entirely made up of fat jokes, e.g.:-

My friend: Hey, Frank, do you realize that people think it's a bit weird that you seem to enjoy being fat.
Me: Well, I'd be in a pretty bad head space, if I enjoyed being slim, wouldn't I?


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## SSBHM (Jan 7, 2020)

Not sure where to post this thought, but I work out at a gym and feel pretty conscious of having perhaps the biggest belly there all the time. 

I get stares and hear comments, and more regularly as I have been gaining the past couple of months.

I've responded to certain people directly, "If you think I'm big now, just wait till you see me 6 months!."


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## SSBHM (Jan 7, 2020)

bigbellyroll said:


> Yes. Especially around other women who are thin and traditionally attractive.



I hope you know that some of us are definitely more enamored with the big bodacious feminine form.


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## Shotha (Jan 8, 2020)

I could discuss this topic for ever. As I'm a gainer, I'm always aware of my weight or at least of my bulk. I made a conscious decision to be a fat man and so I enjoy it. I overhear people making comments like: "Jeez, look how fat that guy is!" or "Go and have a word with the big fat guy over there." It makes me happy to hear these comments, because they only tell me that I've achieved developing the sort of physique that I want.

I have quite a number of fat friends, who are not so happy about their bodies. Some of them have given up on themselves. They believe the negative things that people have said to them. They believe that they will never enjoy love, sex, romance, marriage, admiration... So, I feel that it's important for them to see someone who is fat and has a positive attitude about themselves. I make sure that I dress the way that I think looks good and when I find a good deal on a clothing item, i.e. good quality, looks good on a fat guy and good value for money, I share it on Facebook, with photos, where it can be bought, price and size range. I know some of my friends buy these same items. They also know that I get dates and have quite an online following. I don't brag about these things; I'm just open about them. I just hope that it makes some fat people realize that we can enjoy all of the things that everyone else enjoys and that we can feel good about themselves.

When it comes to answering back to fat-shaming remarks or comments, I think that a humorous reply is best, because anger does not give a positive impression. Anger shows that other people have managed to control our feelings. Humor shows that we're in control of our feelings and our lives.


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## Aqw (Jan 8, 2020)

Shotha said:


> When it comes to answering back to fat-shaming remarks or comments, I think that a humorous reply is best, because anger does not give a positive impression. Anger shows that other people have managed to control our feelings. Humor shows that we're in control of our feelings and our lives.


So true, but sometimes so difficult


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## SSBHM (Jan 8, 2020)

Shotha said:


> I could discuss this topic for ever. As I'm a gainer, I'm always aware of my weight or at least of my bulk. I made a conscious decision to be a fat man and so I enjoy it. I overhear people making comments like: "Jeez, look how fat that guy is!" or "Go and have a word with the big fat guy over there." It makes me happy to hear these comments, because they only tell me that I've achieved developing the sort of physique that I want.
> 
> I have quite a number of fat friends, who are not so happy about their bodies. Some of them have given up on themselves. They believe the negative things that people have said to them. They believe that they will never enjoy love, sex, romance, marriage, admiration... So, I feel that it's important for them to see someone who is fat and has a positive attitude about themselves. I make sure that I dress the way that I think looks good and when I find a good deal on a clothing item, i.e. good quality, looks good on a fat guy and good value for money, I share it on Facebook, with photos, where it can be bought, price and size range. I know some of my friends buy these same items. They also know that I get dates and have quite an online following. I don't brag about these things; I'm just open about them. I just hope that it makes some fat people realize that we can enjoy all of the things that everyone else enjoys and that we can feel good about themselves.
> 
> When it comes to answering back to fat-shaming remarks or comments, I think that a humorous reply is best, because anger does not give a positive impression. Anger shows that other people have managed to control our feelings. Humor shows that we're in control of our feelings and our lives.


Very wise and insightful remarks. Thank you!


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## nsandru (Jan 8, 2020)

Shotha said:


> I could discuss this topic for ever. As I'm a gainer, I'm always aware of my weight or at least of my bulk. I made a conscious decision to be a fat man and so I enjoy it. I overhear people making comments like: "Jeez, look how fat that guy is!" or "Go and have a word with the big fat guy over there." It makes me happy to hear these comments, because they only tell me that I've achieved developing the sort of physique that I want.
> 
> I have quite a number of fat friends, who are not so happy about their bodies. Some of them have given up on themselves. They believe the negative things that people have said to them. They believe that they will never enjoy love, sex, romance, marriage, admiration... So, I feel that it's important for them to see someone who is fat and has a positive attitude about themselves. I make sure that I dress the way that I think looks good and when I find a good deal on a clothing item, i.e. good quality, looks good on a fat guy and good value for money, I share it on Facebook, with photos, where it can be bought, price and size range. I know some of my friends buy these same items. They also know that I get dates and have quite an online following. I don't brag about these things; I'm just open about them. I just hope that it makes some fat people realize that we can enjoy all of the things that everyone else enjoys and that we can feel good about themselves.
> 
> When it comes to answering back to fat-shaming remarks or comments, I think that a humorous reply is best, because anger does not give a positive impression. Anger shows that other people have managed to control our feelings. Humor shows that we're in control of our feelings and our lives.



I am a gainer too (most of my new weight is going into my belly) and I am also confident enough to go shirtless in public - or wear cropped shirts that expose my sizable belly. I am getting remarks about my belly and, when I am in the mood for it, I reply with some funny or stinging remarks of my own. I can withstand cold without problems so I am still shirtless at temperatures just above freezing.


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## Shotha (Jan 8, 2020)

Aqw said:


> So true, but sometimes so difficult





SSBHM said:


> Very wise and insightful remarks. Thank you!



Examples;

Friend's little boy: Why have you got such a big tummy?
Me: Because I give it a lot of exercise.

Friend: Frank, I sometimes thing that you like being fat.
Me: Well, I'd be in a bad head space, if I liked being being slim, wouldn't I?

Trying out the garden chairs in a garden centre to find the most comfortable (i.e. biggest).
Passer-by: Look at that fat cunt. He can't fit in any of the chairs.
Me (loudly to sales assistant): Do you do these in 6XL?

I think that we need a thread for fat positive jokes to give people some inspiration.


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## RVGleason (Jan 8, 2020)




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## SSBHM (Jan 8, 2020)

RVGleason said:


>



Keep wishing there are gals out there like Mimi


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## loopytheone (Jan 9, 2020)

Shotha said:


> Examples;
> 
> Friend's little boy: Why have you got such a big tummy?
> Me: Because I give it a lot of exercise.
> ...



Gosh I would love a thread like that! I'm so slow with thinking up witty responses to things, it would be great to have some I can remember and roll out some time.


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## John Smith (Jan 10, 2020)

Some women I used to frequent were quite-- how do you tell, "_weight conscious_" ? What does that even means? I would rather say _self-abashing _about their appareance.


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## Barrett (Jan 11, 2020)

I go back and forth with it.
Some days (more often than not, if I'm honest), I'm ok with my weight, because deep down, I love my belly and I enjoy being fat (and the eating that made me fat).
Other days, I am extremely self-conscious about my size and I just want to hide.


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## Shotha (Jan 11, 2020)

When people stop and stare at us, I think that there is one question that we need to ask ourselves. Are they staring in shock and horror, or are they staring out of admiration and attraction? I'm certainly aware that I have jumped to the former conclusion before now, which is probably rather judgmental of me. We need to remember that sometimes positive emotions lie behind a stare.


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## JDavis (Jan 11, 2020)

Shotha said:


> When people stop and stare at us, I think that there is one question that we need to ask ourselves. Are they staring in shock and horror, or are they staring out of admiration and attraction? I'm certainly aware that I have jumped to the former conclusion before now, which is probably rather judgmental of me. We need to remember that sometimes positive emotions lie behind a stare.



Reading this site has made me think just that when people stare at me now. I know it is a mix of both and can usually tell which it is. If a man is with a fat woman, than it is obvious to me which it is. Otherwise I look at their faces to try and guess. Sometimes I think it is just curiosity as well. In the USA we are so lucky at this time to have so many "breeds" of humans all in one place. I know when I see an immigrant from somewhere like Ethiopia, I marvel at how beautifully small, thin and black they are. I am sure they do the same with me; I must seem like a giant, blonde muscle woman to them!

Being older though I do feel conscious of my belly as a sign of aging, and in women aging is generally negative. I have struggled both in dating and job hunts since turning 50. Our society seems to be done with women who have started or past menopause which is a shame since we still have years ahead of us to give something to society.


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## Shotha (Jan 11, 2020)

JDavis said:


> Being older though I do feel conscious of my belly as a sign of aging, and in women aging is generally negative.



I believe in positive aging, as do a lot of my female friends. We accept our grey or white hair as a badge of honour. Just as we need to change attitudes about fat people from negative to positive, we need to also change attitudes to our senior citizens in the same direction.


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## ChattyBecca (Jan 24, 2020)

I do when I feel sick and have to decide to go to the Dr.


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## devinprater (Jan 25, 2020)

I do when my keys bounce against my belly as I laugh.


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## traceg (Mar 6, 2020)

AmyJo1976 said:


> Nope..not at all. I spent too much of my life being self conscious about my size in the past. I wear my plus-sized badge with pride and pay no mind to haters!


You and i both amyjo


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## Shotha (Mar 6, 2020)

I'm always conscious of my weight and I love every ounce of it.


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## Sensualbbwcurves (Mar 8, 2020)

Only when I go shopping for clothes does my weight really bothers me.


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## jakemcduck (Mar 17, 2020)

Sometimes I do like when I'm visiting home where I grew up. I'm literally twice the size I was back then. I'm now heavier than the guys who were the 'fat guys' of the group. Sometimes people are staring hard like they think they know me (which they do, they just don't recognize me). Some people can't keep looking me in the eye when we talk, they keep looking down at my belly. Some people are just like, oh my gosh you put on so much weight!


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## Corey (Mar 20, 2020)

I am considered skinny, so I won’t ever pretend to know what people on this thread go through daily. But let me tell you, when I side-glance at a ssbbw/bbw or ssbhm/bhm, it’s because I am drawn and attracted to you in a way that I can’t explain. It’s not even sexual. I think y'all are beautiful, truly. I can appreciate a muscular body, because as an athlete myself, I KNOW the dedication it took to get there. But someone with a soft rounded body, now that’s the good stuff. Add in a pair of fat, rosy cheeks and some extra chins.  Now we’re talking. That’s the true mouth watering stuff for this girl.

Someone mentioned above that they would avoid sitting at a table with an attractive skinny woman and choose to sit somewhere else. At first that hurt my feelings, because as a skinny woman who is considered attractive, I have much more depth and kindness to me than I’m often given credit for. I care way more about your mind, your life and if you love animals. Sometimes I feel like our worlds collide. I’ve spent my entire life hearing people crack jokes about my hair color and lack of intelligence and depth. I’ve been made fun of, judged and shamed by plenty of “nerds” who would not even consider giving me the time of day because I looked like one of “those girls”. Well, I’m not.

But you know what? That’s okay, because I know the world has given y’all shit for way too long. The world is full of people who are so caught up on appearances that they forget the person they’re judging has a whole damn brain behind the skull that makes them a person. Y'all deserve to live your life in peace and to eat without the lingering fear of being watched by people who are so out of touch with reality that they think their opinions should matter. (Except for you, Slotha, You keep bringing attention to that big belly of yours. )

It breaks my heart and makes me mad that others have been cruel, and that that cruelty has caused self-doubt at one point or another in your lives. Shame on them for doing that. You are worthy and deserve a place at the table just as much as the next person. I will say though, if I walked in a room and saw a nice plush body with a kind face sitting at a table, I’d choose to sit down next to them, 100%. Even without a kind face, I’d probably sit down next to them (just can’t help myself). I struggle here sometimes feeling like I fit in. Not due to my intelligence being in question this time, but because I’ve seen comments here and there about thoughts on skinny people, and some have been so mean that they’ve really hurt and discouraged me. But those comments are very rare, I think. There's so much good on here that it far outweighs () the bad.

I didn’t mean to get so wordy. I’ve wanted to share this for a while but I didn’t know where or how. I just want y’all to know that you’re great and that I hope one day, all bodies will be considered worthy of praising.


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## landshark (Mar 20, 2020)

@Corey thst was an incredible post. I almost didn’t stick around when I first joined because there were a few members who were hostile to me because I was a fit, athletic male. Then I realized I was weighting their opinions and comments higher than those of all the wonderful people I’d met here and decided not to let a few ruin it for me.

Also, like you if I give a sideway glance at an attractive woman and she notices I hope she understands I’m looking because I find her attractive, not because I’m judging. In the event I’m noticed noticing her I always smile as pleasantly as I can and hope she reads the expression correctly.

I also deliberately choose to be around bigger people in social settings if I’m able to do so. It doesn’t always work that way But where the opportunity is there I take it.

I could say a lot more on this but I’ve let the time escape me and I need to get my ass to work! I appreciate you being here though because I feel like you are are are the M-F versions of each other to some extent. I hope you are able to filter out the hurtful comments you experience and enjoy being around here. This place is awesome and has some awesome people!


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## Shotha (Mar 20, 2020)

Corey said:


> I am considered skinny, so I won’t ever pretend to know what people on this thread go through daily. But let me tell you, when I side-glance at a ssbbw/bbw or ssbhm/bhm, it’s because I am drawn and attracted to you in a way that I can’t explain. It’s not even sexual. I think y'all are beautiful, truly. I can appreciate a muscular body, because as an athlete myself, I KNOW the dedication it took to get there. But someone with a soft rounded body, now that’s the good stuff. Add in a pair of fat, rosy cheeks and some extra chins.  Now we’re talking. That’s the true mouth watering stuff for this girl.
> 
> Someone mentioned above that they would avoid sitting at a table with an attractive skinny woman and choose to sit somewhere else. At first that hurt my feelings, because as a skinny woman who is considered attractive, I have much more depth and kindness to me than I’m often given credit for. I care way more about your mind, your life and if you love animals. Sometimes I feel like our worlds collide. I’ve spent my entire life hearing people crack jokes about my hair color and lack of intelligence and depth. I’ve been made fun of, judged and shamed by plenty of “nerds” who would not even consider giving me the time of day because I looked like one of “those girls”. Well, I’m not.
> 
> ...



Quite apart from my finding our diversity to be something of great beauty, I'm quite happy to sit or stand close to thin people, because the contrast highlights my fatness. One also has to remember that if every one was fat, then there would be no fat people because the contrast would be lost. Mother Nature has a place for all of us. And that's why she's the goddess that I worship.


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