# Do opposites attract each other?



## luckyfa (Apr 6, 2021)

How many of you live in a relationship where there‘s not only a big weight difference between you and your partner, but where there‘s also a huge difference in physical appearance, when one partner is lean/slim/skinny/athletic (BMI < 24) and the other one fat (BMI >= 35)?

I assume that from the point of view of the „normal“ partner, that such is your desire unless you want to gain weight yourself.

But how about the fat partner? Is the big weight difference and the subsequent difference in appearance an issue for you and if so, in what way? Do you wish your partner to be bigger - or maybe even smaller? If you‚re happy with your partner‘s body, what do you like about it? If you‘re unhappy, what do you dislike?

As far as my wife and myself are concerned, her BMI is currently 41.6 with an upward trend and mine is 22 (+- .5) There were times when the difference was even greater: her so-far BMI max was 46.6 while my lowest was 20.5 albeit not at the same time (unfortunately)

Of course, I am a happy camper! I am thin and athletic and my wife‘s fat. I like the way I am. We‘re the exact opposite of each other. I admire her capacity to rapidly gain not only weight, but fat mass in particular. I admire her appetite. I admire her natural elegance that is even enhanced by her fatness. I think that, in this forum, I don‘t have to go into further detail about how it feels like to admire your fat partner.

But how about my wife? She not only loves me the way I am, but she pretty much prefers me to be that way. Although she’s fat herself, she doesn’t like the appearance of fat men (no judgement, just a preference). My lean leg muscles arouse her sexually. She recently said, excited:“Wow, my thighs are at least twice as big as yours, mine are so soft and yours are so hard.„ She wouldn‘t want me to carry bulk and knows that my body is strong enough to withstand her weight if she lies on top of me, streched out. She‘s happy with my endurance training because she knows that I need it for my emotional and psychological well-being which positively feeds back into our relationship. She does other things for that purpose. In addition to that, my physcial activities ensure that I can eat pretty much the same amount of food as she does ;-) which is always a good thing in a relationship.

We both get a lot of satisfaction out of our bodily differences and openly talk about them. In a way, it has become part of our foreplay in bed (not fat talk, but body talk) At the moment, the weight difference that is currently a bit above 100 lbs is increasing steadily without ourselvesrushing it, in a playful way. In our relationship, the old saying that opposites attract each other, hits the nail on its head.

How about yourself?


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## BigElectricKat (Apr 6, 2021)

Does it have to be just weight? Can it be something else like tall/short?


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## luckyfa (Apr 6, 2021)

BigElectricKat said:


> Does it have to be just weight? Can it be something else like tall/short?


Sure...but there‘s no way to influence that one. Either you go with your partner‘s height, or you don‘t. To a certain degree, that is even true for thinness/fatness. As much as my wife would have a hard time to sustainably lose weight, I would have trouble to gain any and to hold on to it if she wished me to be less thin. Some causes for that might be within our control, others beyond. Maybe we have just adjusted our desires and preferences to reality and not the other way round. Chicken/egg problem, you know.

There are many other potential differences between partners that might prove or disprove the old saying that opposites attract each other.


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## mathfa (Apr 6, 2021)

Physically, we are opposite, I am tall (6'3"), my partner is average height (5'6"), and I am thinner (BMI 18.4) and she is heavier (unsure about BMI, but probably low 30s). I very much love how my partner looks, in my eyes she's quite literally a goddess. And I have substantial evidence that she likes how I look too. 

But in terms of everything else, everyone we know always remarks on how similar we are. We have similar personalities, senses of humor, interests, perspectives, goals, we pretty much align in most every way except the physical side. And it's pretty great to have someone who I share so much in common with to share my life with. It's allowed us to really understand both each other and ourselves better, and has led to us building a really strong, loving relationship over the past 3.5 years or so.

I think our contrast in body types has also helped us learn to love ourselves more. I always faced a lot of negativity for being a very thin, unmuscular man (my BMI used to be around 16), and she has struggled with her body image even more than I. But being supportive of each other has really helped us both learn to accept ourselves more.


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## luckyfa (Apr 6, 2021)

mathfa said:


> I very much love how my partner looks, in my eyes she's quite literally a goddess. And I have substantial evidence that she likes how I look too.


 
Congratulations! Exactly the same here.



mathfa said:


> But in terms of everything else, everyone we know always remarks on how similar we are. We have similar personalities, senses of humor, interests, perspectives, goals, we pretty much align in most every way except the physical side.



That’s great. We find a similar sense of humour to be of particular importance for a long-lasting inspiring relationship. It’s pretty much the glue that kept us together in rough waters. We also love the same foods and I am a vegan and she’s a vegetarian (90 % vegan, she can’t ditch the cheese and that’s fine). Sure, there are differences as well apart from physical appearance and our physical activity level but they keep things interesting. 



mathfa said:


> It's allowed us to really understand both each other and ourselves better, and has led to us building a really strong, loving relationship over the past 3.5 years or so.



3.5 years - this brings back very vivid and fond memories of our first four years  Our relationship has lasted nearly 32 years and we went through thick and thin together. I wish you many more happy years in your relationship!


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## mathfa (Apr 6, 2021)

@luckyfa It might only be the first four years, but sometimes, you just _know_ that a person's right for you. 
Also fellow vegetarian (with a dairy allergy) here as well! My lady is not a vegetarian, but has offered to give up meat but never cheese, same as yours 
And yeah, there are some differences, between us, I shouldn't say we're _exactly_ the same person, but we are still very similar, which has helped us a lot.

I'm glad your relationship has lasted so long, here's to decades more!


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## kinkykitten (Apr 7, 2021)

I know this is bbw forum but I weigh 90lbs and my husband is almost 400!


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## luckyfa (Apr 7, 2021)

kinkykitten said:


> I know this is bbw forum but I weigh 90lbs and my husband is almost 400!


That‘s fine...I was referring to both genders anyway but as I am a male FA, I posted the thread in the BBW/SSBBW forum and didn‘t want to post it twice 

Now that‘s a big difference! Congratulations!


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## extra_m13 (May 14, 2021)

i can't say for sure, i just know that i prefer my ladies to be fat and soft, and i have found, short as well, maybe because chances are that a weight gain will be easier to tell and happen. a curvaceous short lady is a beautiful thing to have on top and grab and enjoy her curves.


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