# How to spot a potential FFA in the wild?



## alk27alk27 (Sep 28, 2019)

Hi all

I’ve decided, along with joining this site, that I want to become more active in the wider community (i.e real life). I was wondering what are some signs that a woman may be a FFA? There are a million things that can attract people to someone else both physically and mentally.

Shy as I am, I’ve dated girls in the past but never felt like I could tell them I liked fat. There was like I said above, a million reasons I liked them, but they were all on the skinnier side and were into fitness and going to the gym. For all the reasons they liked me I never felt it was my immediate physical appearance. Sure they liked my face and enjoyed my personality (I’m surprisingly still friends with most of my past GFs) but I never felt like they enjoyed my body. With my shirt on I look like I’m a bit of a gym rat (broad soldiers and my gut doesn’t poke out) but as soon as they see my body without a shirt they almost always have a disappointed look for just a moment.

I’m not trying to have a “woe is me” Party but rather how can I improve my luck with finding a girl who actually wants a softer man?

Edit spelling.


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## AmyJo1976 (Sep 28, 2019)

Well, there's no easy button for this. It's just like regular dating. You have to meet someone and see how they react to you. FFAs some in all flavors; those who like big husky strong guys, fluffy couch potatoes (like me), or somewhere in between. There's only one way to find out  There's no real way to improve your luck accept for maybe dating sites where they are able to express the type of man that they desire.


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## alk27alk27 (Sep 28, 2019)

AmyJo1976 said:


> Well, there's no easy button for this. It's just like regular dating. You have to meet someone and see how they react to you. FFAs some in all flavors; those who like big husky strong guys, fluffy couch potatoes (like me), or somewhere in between. There's only one way to find out  There's no real way to improve your luck accept for maybe dating sites where they are able to express the type of man that they desire.


Thank you. I figured there wasn’t a magic cure all but I wanted to see if I was missing something.


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## AmyJo1976 (Sep 28, 2019)

You're not missing anything. I'm sure some are quiet and don't stand out, but some can be very open (like me). I met my BHM through friends and I was very obvious lol!


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## Colonial Warrior (Sep 28, 2019)

Unfortunately, there is no more method for spotting a FFA than the typical trial-and-error.


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## alk27alk27 (Sep 30, 2019)

Do The users of this site recommend any 3rd party dating apps to try or is this question against the rules?


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## extra_m13 (Oct 5, 2019)

that is a good question and i think it applies both ways. myself being an FA i always wondered how do i know if the lady at my sight would be happy eating and gaining some weight, how do i know that this chubby girl in front of me is happy with her curves and not wanting to lose weight? how do i know if i will like her? and yes, there is only one way to know. trail and error. of course if you are planning on a serious relationship a lot more is needed and that is also trial and error, so don't lose time, go out and take a few at bats there is no other way


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## FleurBleu (Oct 5, 2019)

I may not have any advice on how to spot an FFA but my advice is not to dismiss certain women as definitely-not-FFA. I'm very tall and thin but totally into soft, fat men - fat as in moobs and belly apron.
The best of luck to you. It really IS a tough issue.


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## Jerry Thomas (Oct 6, 2019)

I think it's really no different than any other situation where two people might be attracted. Watch for eye contact, subtile smiles, etc. If she's staring at you from across the room, then that might be a sign!  If it feels right, take a chance and make your approach.


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## exjock (Oct 7, 2019)

When I've noticed it was because weight came up in conversation in some way. I played on a beer league softball team for a number of years and as my weight increased there would be little comments, all good-natured, about my growing physique and of course some of the other guys. I remember one time getting thrown out at second trying to leg out a double and someone yelling "gotta unhitch the trailer next time!" That led into me saying I'd grown a buddha belly that led me to lucky hitting. I didn't think much of it until the next inning I was standing with my hands on the fence and the buddha gut was exposed a bit and one of my female teammates gave it a pat. Astonished I recoiled a bit but she was like I was just trying to lucky too! Don't worry, you don't look bad. That led into us dating for awhile. So I think just keeping your eyes and ears open for signs just like anything else. In my experience, its not just about looks, but you hit the jackpot when someone ticks off many of the check boxes and then is an FFA to boot!


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## RVGleason (Oct 7, 2019)

Some FFA’s will make themselves known.


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## loopytheone (Oct 7, 2019)

alk27alk27 said:


> Do The users of this site recommend any 3rd party dating apps to try or is this question against the rules?



It's not against the rules to talk about your experiences and websites/apps you find helpful, so don't worry about that. 

As long as you aren't trying to advertise the app/service or whatever, it is fine.


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## LarryTheNoodleGuy (Oct 7, 2019)

exjock said:


> I didn't think much of it until the next inning I was standing with my hands on the fence and the buddha gut was exposed a bit and one of my female teammates gave it a pat. !



OMG when a woman pats your belly and it goes jiggle jiggle jiggle jiggle boing boing boing - HEAVEN! And even better when she smiles and...does it again. wtg


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## RVGleason (Oct 7, 2019)

LarryTheNoodleGuy said:


> OMG when a woman pats your belly - HEAVEN! wtg


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## RVGleason (Oct 15, 2019)

They’ll eventually reveal themselves.


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## alk27alk27 (Oct 16, 2019)

That last one is a bit too big for me. Half that size and she would be perfect. I guess I’m more Chubby chaser then BBW chaser. 

Do I have to hand in my FA card? I heard if I post 3 more threads I get to have a free Sunday with a fat girl.


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## Metallicalover99 (Feb 6, 2020)

I'm late to this thread, but if you're a BHM and you see a girl staring at you smiling, with a wild look in her eyes, you've spotted an FFA xD


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## stevita (Mar 13, 2020)

Ask her! It doesn't even have to be in a sexual context. Just if the subject comes up, be like "Just so you know, I'm comfortable with my body, I don't like to be torturing myself with dieting, and I have no plans to try and lose weight. Is that something that's going to be ok with you?" 

Either a. She'll be accepting and, if not an FFA, you'll know at least that she isn't shallow (and maybe can be converted!) b. She'll reject you and you can avoid wasting time on someone who's brainwashed by the weight-loss-obsessed standard anyway, c. She'll say something like, she likes every part of you both personality and physically, extra lbs and all (she might be an ffa and not know it; a lot of people just aren't familiar with the lingo), or d. She'll be like "oh this is convenient cause I've been an ffa/feeder this whole time"


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## LuvsBustyBBW (Mar 14, 2020)

alk27alk27 said:


> Do The users of this site recommend any 3rd party dating apps to try or is this question against the rules?


Most BBW dating sites I've tried are scams. Craigslist was a far better resource when personals were allowed.


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## PiggiesLove (Mar 21, 2020)

I always be polite to BHMs then stare with a smile. Most other people just ignore them. So I think there is a difference with FFAs compared to other people.


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## Angelette (May 15, 2022)

I'm more social and very close whenever interested in a BHM. A few years ago, I was crushing on a chubby co-worker. Always asked if I can work with him on his line. It seems he caught on I liked him because he finally smiled at me a few days later and had conversations with me.

And I swore he called me baby under his breath. I swear!


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