# Drunk Stories



## LeoGibson (Apr 22, 2012)

I was sitting here thinking about all the comical and just plain stupid things I have done while drunk over the years, and decided what the hell, I'd like to hear what other stupid comical things other's have done while drunk. If you're not a drinker feel free to include your pot stories if you have them, although not to be confused with pot talk where we endlessly kick around a subject until no one remembers what we were trying to do in the first place.

I'll start off,

Once when drunk, I walked into my mother-in-laws room and proceeded to urinate in her waste bin, and when she yelled at me to stop because I was peeing in her trash can, I calmly told her,"I know, why don't you just lay down and shut up."

And no, I don't remember doing it at all.


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## JenFromOC (Apr 22, 2012)

I have a zillion drunk stories, and now that I quit drinking (boo)....I think I should write a memoir....

When my sister lived in Houston, I went for a little visit. She took me to a bar called The Burlap Barrel and we commenced to imbibe in a few Captain and Diet Coke's. I was drunk as shit and I remember my sister saying, "I have to pee. Don't do anything stupid." The next thing I remember is rolling over in bed, hungover to fuck, and my sister saying, "I want to punch your lights out." Apparently, she came out of the bathroom and I was crawling on all fours across the full length of the bar yelling, "I'm Barbie...from Orange County!" 

#1...There is a pic from that night that we call The Sasquatch
#2...I think I've beened banned from Houston permanently
#3...And how fucking obnoxious that must have been. No wonder people hate Californians. I'm glad I don't recall doing it!


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## LeoGibson (Apr 22, 2012)

JenFromOC said:


> I have a zillion drunk stories, and now that I quit drinking (boo)....I think I should write a memoir....
> 
> When my sister lived in Houston, I went for a little visit. She took me to a bar called The Burlap Barrel and we commenced to imbibe in a few Captain and Diet Coke's. I was drunk as shit and I remember my sister saying, "I have to pee. Don't do anything stupid." The next thing I remember is rolling over in bed, hungover to fuck, and my sister saying, "I want to punch your lights out." Apparently, she came out of the bathroom and I was crawling on all fours across the full length of the bar yelling, "I'm Barbie...from Orange County!"
> 
> ...




Good story, I'd pay money to have seen it!!


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## JenFromOC (Apr 22, 2012)

There was the time that my bro, sister, brother in law, and I went to a George Strait concert in Vegas. I had just been injured at work and was supposed to wear a neck brace. I was like hell no. I remember the concert. Next thing I remember was waking up in my hotel room, wearing the neck brace.....I felt something under the covers and reached down and pulled out a half eaten piece of pizza. I hear my brother in law from across the room say, "Fuck, that is so fat." LOL....apparently my sister and I came bback shitfaced after the concert and demanded he order a pizza. No one is sure why I ended up snuggling with a piece of it....or why I decided to utilize.the neckbrace.

I really think I should stop telling stories now....my sister's bachelorette party was awesome though....hehe


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## Melian (Apr 23, 2012)

I have been on a bender for the last four days. I'm going to take a break from drinking for a while, because it has come to my attention that I am a FUCKING DRUNK. 

Last night, I came home and literally ripped my shirt off. It had buttons...it no longer has buttons.

The other day, I was apparently hugging this disgusting guy for ~10 minutes. I was also wearing a pirate costume. 

It is time for a break!


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## NewfieGal (Apr 24, 2012)

I am much the same drunk as sober well mayne a bit more hyper loly drunkenness ususally end up with one of my buddies saying Nick sing us a song... now i can barely carry a tune but they like my songs cause they're a bit colorful shall we say lol, i don't drinl often but when i do lol its great fun had by all


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## theronin23 (Apr 24, 2012)

I have a new one from last night! Drunk and HA-HA-HIGH around a fire pit with a bunch of other drunk and high friends playing the white people national anthem on ukulele (Creep, by Radiohead). It was good.


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## djudex (Apr 25, 2012)

T'aint never been drunk


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## lovelocs (Apr 27, 2012)

When I'm drunk, I usually just weave a bit more in front of my computer screen, and have a few mor speling errors.


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## Surlysomething (Apr 30, 2012)

Camping trip I was allowed to go on as a teen with the only rule being that I didn't drink. Hahahahahaha. 

I think we bought a package of hot dogs and a bag of buns and the rest of the money was spent on booze. I was 17. 

It was the first time I heard GNR so this song always brings back memories of that weekend of mayhem. I do recall getting kicked out of someone's camp site while making out with a guy and I was topless. I also remember kicking the same guy out of our tent (my best friend and I's) that night as he tried to crawl in and get it on with both of us. I found out the next day he was married. HAHAHAHA. Ooops. One of our friends woke up the next morning and his leg was green. He had got so drunk he pee'd in his sleep and the green tent bled onto him. HAHAHA.

Riding on the back of someone's jeep to another party out in the boonies (same trip). Holding tightly onto my case of beer. Not knowing anyone, not caring. So glad I made it back alive. Haha.

Oh man, there's so much more but I think you get the gist. Good times. Pretty careless, but it was quite the learning experience.

I have SO many stories. I WILL BE BACK! (why was I topless in so many of them? hahaha)


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## LeoGibson (Apr 30, 2012)

Surlysomething said:


> Camping trip I was allowed to go on as a teen with the only rule being that I didn't drink. Hahahahahaha.
> 
> I think we bought a package of hot dogs and a bag of buns and the rest of the money was spent on booze. I was 17.
> 
> ...


You have the best and might I add hottest drunken stories. Mine always end with me in jail or making a drunken ass out of myself.


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## Surlysomething (Apr 30, 2012)

LeoGibson said:


> You have the best and might I add hottest drunken stories. Mine always end with me in jail or making a drunken ass out of myself.


 
Awww. Well, boobs are always a girl's go-to whenever there's booze around. Right? Ok, maybe that's just me.

Ha.


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## Melian (Apr 30, 2012)

Surlysomething said:


> Awww. Well, boobs are always a girl's go-to whenever there's booze around. Right? Ok, maybe that's just me.
> 
> Ha.



You're not the only one. Not sure why it happens, but booze makes you think that flashing is the best and most appropriate thing EVER.


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## Surlysomething (Apr 30, 2012)

Melian said:


> You're not the only one. Not sure why it happens, but booze makes you think that flashing is the best and most appropriate thing EVER.



Unleash the hounds!


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## Captain Save (Apr 30, 2012)

*places foot locker of booze on the floor by the icebox with a sleeve of red solo cups*

It's been a long day; who'd like to join me with a drink?


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## Goreki (Apr 30, 2012)

Surlysomething said:


> Unleash the hounds!


YES! I knew I loved both of you for a reason!


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## Yakatori (Apr 30, 2012)

LeoGibson said:


> ...I walked into my mother-in-laws room...


See, right here, the bar is set so high. Very hard to follow that act, just from that point.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 30, 2012)

Captain Save said:


> *places foot locker of booze on the floor by the icebox with a sleeve of red solo cups*
> 
> It's been a long day; who'd like to join me with a drink?


Oh ho I am SO there!


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## Surlysomething (Apr 30, 2012)

Captain Save said:


> *places foot locker of booze on the floor by the icebox with a sleeve of red solo cups*
> 
> It's been a long day; who'd like to join me with a drink?



Is there any Diet Pepsi in there? :blush:


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## Captain Save (Apr 30, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> Oh ho I am SO there!



Excellent!

Lainey, I only make doubles, so we're gonna have a blast! 

Yes, Ms. Surlypants, there's Diet Pepsi...(Damn, my insidious plot FOILED!)



It's the mid nineties, and I was in Constanta, Romania; about thirty of us sailors went to a wine tasting tour at about 8 in the AM. We sampled some of the wines indigenous to the region, and of course, no one spit, as is the custom at wine tastings. No one went back to the ship afterward, either; most of us wandered about the town in smaller groups, straight to the local bars. By three we've hit three other bars and it's time to hit the WC. Of COURSE there are none in sight, and after walking a few blocks I get desperate; I unbutton the thirteen buttons on my uniform and watered the nearest bush on an open boulevard (picture Charlie Brown's Christmas tree.) It felt as good as sex, and looked just as scandalous with lots of passers-by, I'm sure. When finished, I look for my fellows in uniform, but they're nowhere to be found, and there was no hope of me blending in with the local populace of a Romanian city. Try as I might, I couldn't catch up with the group I was with, so with alcohol induced visions of Midnight Express floating through my head for indecent exposure and public intoxication, and the real threat of military punishment for roaming the countryside unaccompanied I make my way back to the ship and call it a night, passing out in a chair.

Where's my glass...I need another drink.


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## Surlysomething (Apr 30, 2012)

Captain Save said:


> Excellent!
> 
> Yes, Ms. Surlypants, there's Diet Pepsi...(Damn, my insidious plot FOILED!)



I _used_ to be fun. Now i'm mature and fussy.


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## Surlysomething (Apr 30, 2012)

Goreki said:


> YES! I knew I loved both of you for a reason!



Hahaha. Boobs for the win!


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## Captain Save (Apr 30, 2012)

Surlysomething said:


> I _used_ to be fun. Now i'm mature and fussy.



What are the mature and fussy without our memories of what used to be?


To mature and fussy!
*raises glass of Diet Pepsi*


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## NewfieGal (May 1, 2012)

Ugh diet pepsi i think not... someone pass me a double white captain morgan and regular Coke... here's to night i won't remember with people i won't forget... I'm here humming red solo cup song lol


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## Surlysomething (May 1, 2012)

NewfieGal said:


> Ugh diet pepsi i think not... someone pass me a double white captain morgan and regular Coke... here's to night i won't remember with people i won't forget... I'm here humming red solo cup song lol




I never said it was for everyone.


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## NewfieGal (May 1, 2012)

Oh no doubt its the drink of choice by alot of my buddies I'm merely commenting on Captain's toast with it lol... but seeing as your drinking the DP Surly wanna be the DD i promise not to upchuck in the car


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## Surlysomething (May 1, 2012)

NewfieGal said:


> Oh no doubt its the drink of choice by alot of my buddies I'm merely commenting on Captain's toast with it lol... but seeing as your drinking the DP Surly wanna be the DD i promise not to upchuck in the car


 

I have no problem being the DD, but I get full control of all music played while i'm driving.


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## LeoGibson (May 1, 2012)

Yakatori said:


> See, right here, the bar is set so high. Very hard to follow that act, just from that point.



True, so let me see if I can follow it. 

Me and some buddies got a couple big bottles of cheap vodka and mixed them equally half and half in quart bottles of Sunny Delight me and one of the guys drank our whole quart and then shared another quart. We then went to our local county fair and drank a lot of beers until later that night I went and sat down on a swing and proceeded to pass out. The local constabulary decided I need be their guest for the evening and took me into custody and threw me face down on the drunk bus and when it seemed I'd stay laying there the officer yanked me upright violently only to have me hurl all over his shirt. So he left me loose on the floor cuffed to roll around on the awfully bumpy and sharp curve laden ride to the jail. 

Fast forward to me sleeping on the concrete floor of the 50 some-odd degree drunk tank with only an old wool blanket completely covering me and even pulled over my head because it was so cold in there. After a time I was awakened by a new guest of the county kicking me in the ribs and trying to steal my blanket. It turned out to be my buddy who wound up getting busted too. After I tackled him and we realized we weren't strangers about to throw down we got loud and laughed and raised hell until they kicked us loose the next morning.


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## Melian (May 1, 2012)

A bunch of friends and I got so drunk that we made mattress/cardboard forts and whipped empty glass salsa containers at each others' heads while listening to Megadeth. There were glass shards everywhere - we passed out on them.

While extremely drunk on Halloween, I somehow got into my lab and passed out under my desk. Security did not question the fact that it was 5am or that I was wearing a costume 

I have woken up in several snowbanks, including one at my parents' house (I didn't live there anymore).

A friend had to bribe me with marshmallow Peeps so I would calm down and stop attempting to defenestrate his annoying small dog. <--this could have happened while sober, though.


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## Surlysomething (May 2, 2012)

Melian said:


> A bunch of friends and I got so drunk that we made mattress/cardboard forts and whipped empty glass salsa containers at each others' heads while listening to Megadeth. There were glass shards everywhere - we passed out on them.
> 
> While extremely drunk on Halloween, I somehow got into my lab and passed out under my desk. Security did not question the fact that it was 5am or that I was wearing a costume
> 
> ...


 

Haha. The snowbank drunks make me laugh. Why do I picture you lodged in the snow like a shovel?


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## Surlysomething (May 2, 2012)

LeoGibson said:


> True, so let me see if I can follow it.
> 
> Me and some buddies got a couple big bottles of cheap vodka and mixed them equally half and half in quart bottles of Sunny Delight me and one of the guys drank our whole quart and then shared another quart. We then went to our local county fair and drank a lot of beers until later that night I went and sat down on a swing and proceeded to pass out. The local constabulary decided I need be their guest for the evening and took me into custody and threw me face down on the drunk bus and when it seemed I'd stay laying there the officer yanked me upright violently only to have me hurl all over his shirt. So he left me loose on the floor cuffed to roll around on the awfully bumpy and sharp curve laden ride to the jail.
> 
> Fast forward to me sleeping on the concrete floor of the 50 some-odd degree drunk tank with only an old wool blanket completely covering me and even pulled over my head because it was so cold in there. After a time I was awakened by a new guest of the county kicking me in the ribs and trying to steal my blanket. It turned out to be my buddy who wound up getting busted too. After I tackled him and we realized we weren't strangers about to throw down we got loud and laughed and raised hell until they kicked us loose the next morning.


 
I doubt I would ever get drunk again after being in a drunk tank type situation. You know, mostly for the filth and germs. Haha.


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## Tad (May 2, 2012)

I'm always impressed by some people's drunk stories. As a general rule I either end up sick to my stomach or just wanting to sleep before I hit that level of black-out drunkeness. Which is probably good, from a survival point of view, but it doesn't make for such epic stories.

The weirdest I had was one new years, when I was in university. Went to see a friend (neither of us had a girlfriend at the time), and he made the rum and cokes WAY too strong. I did end up vigorously worshipping the porcelan god, a little after midnight, then collapsing into their spare bed, and sleeping until morning. At least, I thought I'd slept peacefully until morning, until I went to look for my jeans, which I'd had on when I crashed. They were eventually found, a floor below, hanging up in the pantry off their kitchen. I have no recollection of what I was doing, and nobody else heard me. At least is seemed that I had not mistaken the pantry for a washroom!

There were a few weekends up at a friend's grandparents' cottage (when it was just us kids there) where the weekend was one, epic, drunk, going to sleep when the sky started to brighten, and waking up with a beer.....but our drunk/stupid ran more to sprawling out in a canoe, with a liquor bottle tied to a rope and dropped in the water to stay cold, so we could just pull it up when we needed to top up our blood alcohol levels.


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## PinkRodery (May 11, 2012)

Got drunk yesterday with a friend and went to an amusement park. Went on all the scariest, fastest rides and got followed by security for "appearing drunk". I managed to talk my way out of it, my friend not so much.


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