# Ageism and FAs



## superodalisque (Feb 8, 2008)

FAs seem to be attracted to BBWs of all ages. it doesn't seem to matter much if a BBW is older. maybe its because the body changes we go through as we get older are attractive to them, or maybe its because we look younger much longer. i'm not sure.

but, counter to that BBWs seem to prefer younger FAs. i'm not sure if thats true. i could be over generalizing. i don't see anything wrong with that. but, i do wonder if FAs feel left out when they get older, and why that is. what do you think?


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## Dr. Feelgood (Feb 8, 2008)

We live in a culture that is very much fixated on youth. For years, our local alternative newspaper published personal ads; I noticed that younger women tended to look for men a few years older than themselves, but by their late thirties most women were looking for younger men. Men, on the other hand, were always looking for younger women -- but the older they were, the greater the age difference they sought between themselves and their tootsies-to-be.


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## Danyull (Feb 8, 2008)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> We live in a culture that is very much fixated on youth. For years, our local alternative newspaper published personal ads; I noticed that younger women tended to look for men a few years older than themselves, but by their late thirties most women were looking for younger men. Men, on the other hand, were always looking for younger women -- but the older they were, the greater the age difference they sought between themselves and their tootsies-to-be.



I feel like I contridict that point...


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## The Orange Mage (Feb 8, 2008)

Note: I'm 20.

I might have gone for older BBWs simply because they have often had more time to grow to accept themselves, as opposed to a girl fresh out of high school.

Luckily I found a highschool hottie who knows she's awesome.


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## bmann0413 (Feb 8, 2008)

The Orange Mage said:


> Note: I'm 20.
> 
> I might have gone for older BBWs simply because they have often had more time to grow to accept themselves, as opposed to a girl fresh out of high school.
> 
> Luckily I found a high school hottie who knows she's awesome.



Yeah, that's pretty much the reason... Not to mention, some high school/college girls are obsessed with the way they look even if they look pretty hot already... :blink:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 8, 2008)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> We live in a culture that is very much fixated on youth. For years, our local alternative newspaper published personal ads; I noticed that younger women tended to look for men a few years older than themselves, but by their late thirties most women were looking for younger men. Men, on the other hand, were always looking for younger women -- but the older they were, the greater the age difference they sought between themselves and their tootsies-to-be.





Lol...I'm in my late thirties. The only SINGLE guys hitting on me are younger.


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## NancyGirl74 (Feb 8, 2008)

While I'm becoming more open minded about younger men, I still tend to lean toward men who are my age or older. The problem is that it's really hard to find a single, "out-of-the-closet" FA who is in his 30s or older. If they are single they are miles away or enjoy the bachelor life too much to give it up. Maybe this is just my experience but I find it frustrating at times.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 8, 2008)

I tend to agree with Nancy because something has been on my mind since hitting Dims and having the younger guys sometimes approach me. It makes me wonder....is "the younger generation" perhaps "more open" about their preferences...or at least starting to be?
Last guy I dated in reality was seven years younger than me. He had an idiotic "friend" tell him not to date me because of my weight. He never let the opinions of others dictate his desire to be with me. 
Could there be a wind of change?


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## ClashCityRocker (Feb 9, 2008)

im more attracted to older women in general...just a preference. that doenst mean that's all i go for, and all of the elements of attraction have to be present. im not gonna pick an older lady over a younger lady just cuz she's older(not that i pick like that anyway...the dating world isnt a grocery store lol). although i always get a kick when there's a group of girls at a club or something and i approach the BBW of the group rather than her scrawny counterparts.

another funny thing

a friend of mine was joking with me about me liking older ladies, and in response i said "and what? just call me a poacher."(get it? cougar...poacher. whatev) i thought that was kind of funny. you dont have to laugh, though. it's a free country.


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## pudgy (Feb 9, 2008)

I hope this doesn't tag me as awful, but I'm 20 and I dig people my age. Usually not too much younger...their just immature. And though there are plenty of those 30 and over who are absolutely beautiful in Dims and in the world, I'm smart enough to know that they are way out of my league. But beauty can be found anywhere at any age.


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## wrestlingguy (Feb 9, 2008)

As always, there are exceptions to every generalization. I am, one of the exceptions.

I am 19 years older than my wife. She wasn't seeking an older guy when we met, nor was I looking for the hot young chick. Neither one of us had a pattern of dating in a particular age range.

I DO think, though, that the comment made about older BBW's having more time to accept themselves has some truth, to the point of saying they may show more confidence in themselves at a later age, which may be attractive to the younger guys.


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## Just_Jen (Feb 9, 2008)

i tend to look for guys of the same age tbh, it feels like it's much easier because they tend to know and love the things i do if i find the right guys. I will accept older if it comes along but don't seek it out. :bow:21 bbw at your service:bow:


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## CrankySpice (Feb 9, 2008)

Interesting topic, supero.  

What is interesting, for me, is that for most of my dating life, I have dated men significantly older than me--between 10 & 20 years. In fact, it wasn't until I was over 35 that I ever dated men younger than me. As I've gotten older, the age gap has gotten smaller....I tend to generally find myself attracted to men about 10 years in either direction....more than that, and the 'things in common' seem few and far between. There are exceptions, of course, but that seems to be my general pattern.

Much younger men tend to....make me feel old. ha! And much older men seem....too much like a parent or uncle. (Again, generally speaking--there are always exceptions either way!)


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## flip.the.nuts (Feb 9, 2008)

I'm 20, and I would only date women in about the range of 19-23. I would probably still get with some chicks up to their late 30s possibly; but with no intention of permenantly sticking with them.


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## LillyBBBW (Feb 9, 2008)

Ok ok, here's MY question. You're a parent and one day your 20 year old comes home and introduces you to his/her new squeeze and OMG!!! It's this person you remember from High School. How do you feel about this?


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## flip.the.nuts (Feb 9, 2008)

Very very concerned for my kid.


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## NancyGirl74 (Feb 9, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> Ok ok, here's MY question. You're a parent and one day your 20 year old comes home and introduces you to his/her new squeeze and OMG!!! It's this person you remember from High School. How do you feel about this?



(I'm not stalking you, Lilly. I swear!)

EXACTLY!!! My younger brother is seriously seeing an older woman who is twice divorced with three children. She is in that stage of life where things become 'been-there-done-that' and he's only beginning to 'do that.' Now, there is nothing wrong with being twice divorced with three kids and she really is a very nice person. However, as the big sister the idea of him becoming too serious with her makes me cringe a bit. 

On the other hand, I've been talking to a muuuuuch younger guy for a while now. He's very charming and I like him more than I want to admit. Half of me loves the attention, loves that he calls me all the time, and that he misses me when we don't talk. The other half of me thinks he should be out there looking for girls his own age and not wasting his time on me. I also keep thinking that his mother would kill me if things did become serious. I mean..._I_ would if I were her!

So, all this leaves me wishing I didn't enjoy a certain younger man so much while hoping my kid brother doesn't marry his older girlfriend...and feeling like a major hypocrite. :blink:

I realize this has nothing to do with the FA part of this thread but I think Lilly's post was a bullseye as to what I've been dealing with lately. Sorry to go off the subject a bit.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 9, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> Ok ok, here's MY question. You're a parent and one day your 20 year old comes home and introduces you to his/her new squeeze and OMG!!! It's this person you remember from High School. How do you feel about this?



*IF* I ever dated a 20 year old, I wouldn't expect to meet his parents. Like I said in another thread, the one about "older women", there is really just "so far" you can go with a guy that is..........too too young.
They are nice for attention and to spend time with.........but I don't really expect a "serious relationship" with them. Why? They are at a different place in their life than myself. I know this, I say this to them and never let them forget it. 
I have had one interpret this as "the age difference really bothers you" but it was more along the lines of " I just want you aware, and to know that I am aware, that we are only going so far together".


Oh, another thing I need to add.....it doesn't bother me if a couple with that big of an age difference tries to make it work. More power to them- there really is not enough love in the world. Just saying that I have three children and a man that could essentially be their older brother isn't kosher....or what they, or I, really need in our lives.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 9, 2008)

flip.the.nuts said:


> Very very concerned for my kid.



I'm not clear why- would you please elaborate?


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## gangstadawg (Feb 9, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> Ok ok, here's MY question. You're a parent and one day your 20 year old comes home and introduces you to his/her new squeeze and OMG!!! It's this person you remember from High School. How do you feel about this?


dont know how i would feel but i know what i would say. i would be like i remember your girlfriend she still owes me that lunch money i let her borrow.
and the whole age thing. age isnt nothing but a number.


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## AnnMarie (Feb 9, 2008)

Hmmm, since I'm in a relationship with a "much" younger guy, I'm not sure I can agree with most of this stuff. 

We love each other, and while we don't talk about the "future", we don't avoid it either. 

I guess the difference, maybe?, is that I don't have children or want them - and neither does he. So we're not on an agenda or time line. 

I take the relationship seriously, and in no way proceed with a "this can only go so far" attitude. Perhaps that will someday bite me in the ass? Maybe I'm really the one who's at more risk? I don't know.


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## flip.the.nuts (Feb 9, 2008)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I'm not clear why- would you please elaborate?



Concerned my kid is emotionally void of something and therefore wants to date a woman who could be their parent.

Concerned my kid is being used by this person.

Concerned my kid has fallen in love, but only stupidly and will be heartbroken later when reality sets in.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 9, 2008)

flip.the.nuts said:


> Concerned my kid is emotionally void of something and therefore wants to date a woman who could be their parent.
> 
> Concerned my kid is being used by this person.
> 
> Concerned my kid has fallen in love, but only stupidly and will be heartbroken later when reality sets in.




Good answers- thanks


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## daddyoh70 (Feb 9, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> Ok ok, here's MY question. You're a parent and one day your 20 year old comes home and introduces you to his/her new squeeze and OMG!!! It's this person you remember from High School. How do you feel about this?





NancyGirl74 said:


> (I'm not stalking you, Lilly. I swear!)


I on the other hand ....... ^  .....(just don't tell my wife or my parole office please!!!)

Anyway, my opinion on this is, first off, the child is 20 years old, an adult, hopefully capable of making some rational decisions. I guess my biggest thing would be, WHICH person from high school is it. Is it the class druggie, class clown or captain of a sports team. Either way, I would not discourage my child from seeing this person, unless I felt my child was in some sort of physical danger. I would, however, make it a point to let my child know everything about this person that I know, be it good or bad. If there were no alterior motives involved, then I say, if they are happy, let it be.


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## SparkGirl (Feb 12, 2008)

I tend to be attracted to men much older than me (10-15 years). I don't rule out men my own age, but I tend to find my attraction is stronger to men older than myself. It probably has something to do with the maturity level and they are usually pretty grounded in their lives and know what they want/don't want. I tend to find much less game-playing with older men, as well.

I have dated men that are younger than me and have been quite disappointed, in general. A younger guy would have to be pretty special to catch my eye, at this point in my life. :wubu:


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## Fyreflyintheskye (Feb 19, 2008)

AnnMarie said:


> Hmmm, since I'm in a relationship with a "much" younger guy, I'm not sure I can agree with most of this stuff.
> 
> We love each other, and while we don't talk about the "future", we don't avoid it either.
> 
> ...




Age aside, being in love, period, puts you at risk because it makes you vulnerable to the whims of someone else. It's both amazing and dangerous like standing on top of a mountain. If it does eventually _bite you in the ass_, it's not like you would regret that time and the experience, is it? I don't even have to ask. That feeling is impossible to beat. I know I couldn't live without it, if only in fierce, sporadic bursts here and there (speaking from personal experience ) ... it's still very much worthwhile and fulfilling. 

As _for_ the age thing, I have to agree with Nancy about the sheer number of younger FAs just... everywhere. I think, perhaps, we've become accustomed to them flirting with us and realizing that many of them are not immature, et. al., like we may have initially thought. When I first started going into chat, I never, ever would have considered the possibility of dating a guy younger than I was. I think I was 20 then. The idea was just "ICK." lol. But now, it seems like it's not so taboo and actually refreshing, to some extent, to be admired by guys who aren't as, well, cynical, as some of the ones my age (28) and older can sometimes appear to be. Men my age and older are still more attractive to me in general because they tend to have as many responsibilities as I do and have goals in tandem with some of my own, as well as financial security, like myself. It's comfortable to be in sync like this, but I can still have romantic interest in younger men for some of the opposite reasons. They tend to be more open-minded and playful than their counterparts. It's kind of like a door that's been opened in my mind. It's a possibility now, when it was just a, "no, thank you" type of situation when anyone younger asked me out in the past. My preconceived notions have been swept under the rug and forgotten, basically. 

I must spread some around before repping you again, AM. :doh:I so hate that feature.  It's been happening way too much lately. 

Great thread, Felecia, btw!!


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## TallFatSue (Feb 19, 2008)

Although I try my best to be open-minded, alas one prejudice I just can't shake is against older men with obviously much younger wives. Much of my feeling stems from my distant cousin Bill (the horse's ass of our extended family), who regularly dumped his wives for younger models. He established a pattern in his 20s when he regularly dated 19-year-olds, but abandoned them when they hit the big 2-0. Finally he married a woman about 10 years younger than him and became was the kind of guy who, when his wife turned 40, wanted to trade her in for two 20s. Well, the 3rd time around his wife dumped him for a change; hence the much-nastier-than-usual divorce. Therefore my prejudice is probably because I tend to associate much-younger wives with older ex-wives who were tossed aside.

My husband and I love cruises, and on one particular cruise the average age of the passengers seemed very much older than us. We noticed about twice as many women as men. Art (with his quasi-analytical outlook) said this was understandable because most men marry younger women, but women live longer than men. If you simplistically assume 5 years in each case, then the average woman outlives her husband and spends the last 10 years of her life as a widow.

My husband is 2 years younger than me, which is no big deal now that I'm 50 and he's 48. We have very much the same frames of references because we both endured adolescence in the goofy 1970s and emerged relatively unscathed. On the other hand, when we began dating, I was 20 and Art was 18, and some people joked that I was robbing the cradle! At our 25th and 30th high school class reunions, I noticed that most of the men had younger wives, but I was among the handful of women with younger husbands, and the age difference wasn't nearly as great in our cases. But this only goes to show how inconsistent I can be in my prejudices. One of the men had divorced his first wife and married a trophy wife half his age, but none of the other women would speak to her, until I went over and struck up a pleasant conversation. Of course part of that was because I was triple if not quadruple her size, and I enjoy trying to break down barriers, even my own.


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## AnnMarie (Feb 19, 2008)

ShakenBakeSharleen said:


> Age aside, being in love, period, puts you at risk because it makes you vulnerable to the whims of someone else. It's both amazing and dangerous like standing on top of a mountain. If it does eventually _bite you in the ass_, it's not like you would regret that time and the experience, is it? I don't even have to ask. That feeling is impossible to beat. I know I couldn't live without it, if only in fierce, sporadic bursts here and there (speaking from personal experience ) ... it's still very much worthwhile and fulfilling.
> 
> As _for_ the age thing, I have to agree with Nancy about the sheer number of younger FAs just... everywhere. I think, perhaps, we've become accustomed to them flirting with us and realizing that many of them are not immature, et. al., like we may have initially thought. When I first started going into chat, I never, ever would have considered the possibility of dating a guy younger than I was. I think I was 20 then. The idea was just "ICK." lol. But now, it seems like it's not so taboo and actually refreshing, to some extent, to be admired by guys who aren't as, well, cynical, as some of the ones my age (28) and older can sometimes appear to be. Men my age and older are still more attractive to me in general because they tend to have as many responsibilities as I do and have goals in tandem with some of my own, as well as financial security, like myself. It's comfortable to be in sync like this, but I can still have romantic interest in younger men for some of the opposite reasons. They tend to be more open-minded and playful than their counterparts. It's kind of like a door that's been opened in my mind. It's a possibility now, when it was just a, "no, thank you" type of situation when anyone younger asked me out in the past. My preconceived notions have been swept under the rug and forgotten, basically.
> 
> ...



Thanks, Shar. 

And yes, exactly. I wouldn't regret anything one bit - if I thought I would, I certainly wouldn't be here. 

I'm enjoying things, and being happy for the things I have. It's a good time to count blessings, and though the age is sometimes (rarely now) a struggle in my own mind - I certainly wouldn't trade away what I have hoping to find another with a more appropriate number. 

Nope, not that stupid! :wubu:


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## NYSquashee (Feb 19, 2008)

I have always found older SSBBW's to be more attractive to me 9in most cases) then younger ones. Sure they may be something to the idea of just being there to take care and pamper an older "Goddess" like woman in my life, but I think it also just falls to relation. meaning, throughout my life I have always related better to older women, as well as men, most of my friends are a good deal older than I. I think it's a general mindset more then the number on your drivers license. Maturity, independence, and overall respect which people make their bonds over. And to toss all that out, I can go all cheesy and say, being the FA that I am, a woman's age isn't the number which I usually find most interesting. 

As for BBW/SSBBW's finding younger men more attractive on a whole...that I wouldn't know for sure. Though this is one younger man who certainly hopes it to be true.


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## user 23567 (Feb 19, 2008)

I dont look nor act my age, so, I attract younger women. I never seek them out but they always find me. Its cool thoughIm not opposed to dating older women, but the youngins just cant get enough of me. :smitten:


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## prickly (Feb 20, 2008)

..........but i think i'm immune to this stuff maybe........i just ogle and flirt with women of all ages!!!


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## stefanie (Feb 20, 2008)

superodalisque said:


> but, counter to that BBWs seem to prefer younger FAs. i'm not sure if thats true. i could be over generalizing. i don't see anything wrong with that. but, i do wonder if FAs feel left out when they get older, and why that is. what do you think?



I'm a fat woman who likes fat men. Were I single, though, and interested in another long-term relationship I would probably look for a man about my own age, rather than a younger one. Nothing wrong with friendships with younger men, of course. But middle age has its own peculiar perspective, issues, etc., and I think I would rather be with someone who's going through it - or perhaps who is through it already, and even a bit older than me. 

So I guess I'm more interested in an Orson Welles type. ; )


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 20, 2008)

prickly said:


> ..........but i think i'm immune to this stuff maybe........i just ogle and flirt with women of all ages!!!




How YOU doing? :batting:


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## prickly (Feb 20, 2008)

........you KNOW i flirt with you already! but, hey, it's too far and few between in my view, hehe


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## superodalisque (Feb 20, 2008)

hmmm. i tend to prefer guys my own age (44), or close to it anyway. but i have usually ended up with someone at least 6 years younger than i am. its just that i've found it easier to communicate and we "get" each other the closer we are in age. i like being with someone who is ok with my outlook and who i am. its hard if i feel i always have to explain myself or i'm always being misinterpreted. and also i definitely don't want to try to change someone else. 

i also teach a lot of younger guys (grad students between 21-26) and have nephews that i'm very close to in that age range so and i have a bit of a barrier between myself and them. otherwise i'd be dating my students and their friends and i really don't want to go there. i've seen other women do it and it ain't pretty. also i don't like the horrified looks my nephews get when their friends try to date a person they consider to be their mother lol.

i tend to get approached by younger guys, usually around 30. i think maybe 1 in 10 guys who do approach me are my age or older. i think young guys are great. a lot of them are wonderful. but, i also tend to worry if they are ready for what i want. i'm definitely not a friends with benefits kind of person. i think we have to be in the same place emotionally and want the same things out of a relationship. a lot of young guys are still trying to find out exactly who they are and i kinda like someone who knows that already.

but i do agree that younger guys have their benefits. they aren't as self conscious about being with an ssbbw in general. they aren't as jaded. they also haven't been passed around as much.


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## prickly (Feb 20, 2008)

........i pretty much agree with you. my gf is 9 yrs younger than me, but i honestly believe that such an age gap is less important that way around because women do seem more mature on the whole (quelle surprise...*snort), and by the time you get to our age that is not a huge difference.......on the whole i've always tended to prefer women somewhere around my age (+/-5 to 10yrs) rather than some young dolly bird.........lol


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## Jane (Feb 20, 2008)

SparkGirl said:


> A younger guy would have to be pretty special to catch my eye, at this point in my life.



Any of them have to be pretty special at this point in my life.


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## qwertyman173 (Feb 20, 2008)

Maybe us FAs are not held back by what society wants us to believe in the first place, so we can appreciate beauty in any age, shape or form. Just my thoughts.


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## stan_der_man (Feb 20, 2008)

Just from casual observation, I think people are all over the spectrum as far as their preference to age in a partner goes, I don't think there are any trends in particular. Most couples of signifigantly different age that I've met just seemed to have met more out of circumstance than seeking out younger or older partners.

Back when I was dating, I always prefered someone close to my age simply because I felt we had more in common (interests, life experiences, etc...)



old_man_stan


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## superodalisque (Feb 20, 2008)

i wonder whether older FAs ever feel ignored by the younger BBWs. i know a few who feel that way. and, i was wondering if it were a trend or an individual thing.


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## LillyBBBW (Feb 25, 2008)

superodalisque said:


> i wonder whether older FAs ever feel ignored by the younger BBWs. i know a few who feel that way. and, i was wondering if it were a trend or an individual thing.



For a while I've been going to dating sites and for shits and giggles I've been doing searches for single men under different age groups. I notice that in the 20 - 30 range the profiles often include a clear photo(s) and some type of descriptive post representing themselves and what they are looking for. Very straight foward. As the age bracket goes higher however there is a VERY noticeable difference. The profiles less and less contain photos. Most are blank but when a photo is included very rare is it a clear photo of themselves. It's a picture of a car, a cartoon character, a torso, a tattoo or the photo was taken from about 80 feet away. A simple 'message me' or 'just looking' is scrawled within the description and more often than not the profile labels the subject as married or that portion is cleverly left blank.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 25, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> For a while I've been going to dating sites and for shits and giggles I've been doing searches for single men under different age groups. I notice that in the 20 - 30 range the profiles often include a clear photo(s) and some type of descriptive post representing themselves and what they are looking for. Very straight foward. As the age bracket goes higher however there is a VERY noticeable difference. The profiles less and less contain photos. Most are blank but when a photo is included very rare is it a clear photo of themselves. It's a picture of a car, a cartoon character, a torso, a tattoo or the photo was taken from about 80 feet away. A simple 'message me' or 'just looking' is scrawled within the description and more often than not the profile labels the subject as married or that portion is cleverly left blank.




Exactly...and I always find it annoying. I KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that those clowns wouldn't message/PM me without getting a good eyeball full of me and my "goods". Or if they did, one of the first things they would ask was for a photo.
I don't buy the "shy" line- they honestly think that a blank photo slot is better then their pic? Why should I be impressed then?


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## LillyBBBW (Feb 25, 2008)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Exactly...and I always find it annoying. I KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that those clowns wouldn't message/PM me without getting a good eyeball full of me and my "goods". Or if they did, one of the first things they would ask was for a photo.
> I don't buy the "shy" line- they honestly think that a blank photo slot is better then their pic? Why should I be impressed then?



I know! "He must be just ghastly!" is what I think when I see a decoy photo. lol


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## Adrian (Feb 27, 2008)

One real advantage of being an FA is that the effects of gravity on a BBW are often seen as an advantage when the BBW is young. Things like pendulous breast, hanging stomach, etc. are an asset. So as a woman ages and these effects are exaggerated, it is no big deal. That is my perspective.

Adrian


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## exile in thighville (Feb 28, 2008)

superodalisque said:


> i wonder whether older FAs ever feel ignored by the younger BBWs. i know a few who feel that way. and, i was wondering if it were a trend or an individual thing.



I really don't think FAs are the ones who feel ignored.


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## Roflcopter (Feb 29, 2008)

I think coming to grips with being an FA usually requires one to become more open-minded in general, hence the willingness to find beauty at any age as well as any size.

Everybody has _preferences_. The problem is that a lot of people deny some of their preferences, or adopt the preferences of others in an attempt to fit in. I don't find every last woman attractive, I'm just not _afraid_ to tell myself that Obese Woman A is attractive and Older Woman B is attractive. I find a lot of thin women attractive too - my fiance is case in point on that one.

There are FAs who become as narrow-minded in their preferences as mainstreamers, but I'd like to think they aren't the norm, and that flaws in their attitude are related more to their personality and upbringing than to the fact that they are FAs.


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## superodalisque (Mar 3, 2008)

exile in thighville said:


> I really don't think FAs are the ones who feel ignored.



you'd be surprised. quite a few do. i have one friend who was really the belll of the ball, so to speak, when he was young and now he gets virtually no play except on a friends level at bashes. he is still quite a handsome man. i have heard this from other guys as well and i've also seen some comments here on the forums as well. 

i think bbws tend spend a lot of time talking about their dating woes but FAs have em too.


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## superodalisque (Mar 3, 2008)

i still find it kind of interesting that the real question is how age effects the desireabilty of FAs but the conversation still has managed to turn into what FAs think of bbws of different ages. what about what the women want? we discuss FA preferences a lot but what about bbw preferences re: age


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## southernfa (Mar 3, 2008)

"The gentleman desires the lady, the lady desires his desire..." Haven't got a clue where that comes from but if it is true, it might explain the skew in the thread.


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## Jane (Mar 4, 2008)

superodalisque said:


> i still find it kind of interesting that the real question is how age effects the desireabilty of FAs but the conversation still has managed to turn into what FAs think of bbws of different ages. what about what the women want? we discuss FA preferences a lot but what about bbw preferences re: age



Speaking personally, I just want them to act like they are interested. Age is just a number. I've met immature 70 year olds, and young people with much wisdom.


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## LillyBBBW (Mar 5, 2008)

superodalisque said:


> you'd be surprised. quite a few do. i have one friend who was really the belll of the ball, so to speak, when he was young and now he gets virtually no play except on a friends level at bashes. he is still quite a handsome man. i have heard this from other guys as well and i've also seen some comments here on the forums as well.
> 
> i think bbws tend spend a lot of time talking about their dating woes but FAs have em too.



LOL Could it be that Mr. Bell of the Ball has been ringing 'round town a bit too much? The buzz word being used on the streets of fattyville these days is "fatty collector." If he can sing "I've Been Everywhere" with names listed in alphabetical order it might be a clue. A lot of chicks are turned off at the prospect of being on such a list. Your friend may not be like that but there are many factors that go into desirability that may have nothing to do with age.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 5, 2008)

Good point Lilly....men can acquire "reputations" just like women can.


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## superodalisque (Mar 7, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> LOL Could it be that Mr. Bell of the Ball has been ringing 'round town a bit too much? The buzz word being used on the streets of fattyville these days is "fatty collector." If he can sing "I've Been Everywhere" with names listed in alphabetical order it might be a clue. A lot of chicks are turned off at the prospect of being on such a list. Your friend may not be like that but there are many factors that go into desirability that may have nothing to do with age.



great point! but what about the young fatty collectors? there are many women who are willing to accept sampling on the part of young men that they'd never tolerate it in older men.


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## Zandoz (Mar 7, 2008)

Other people's preferences, as long as legal and not expressed in a blatantly hurtful manner, are of no real consequence to me....as long as they are not FOR me...in that case there is likely something seriously gone wrong...LOL 

They are as entitled to their's as I am to mine.


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## LillyBBBW (Mar 7, 2008)

superodalisque said:


> great point! but what about the young fatty collectors? there are many women who are willing to accept sampling on the part of young men that they'd never tolerate it in older men.



Yeah, I'm not crazy about young fatty collectors either. Speaking only for myself Fatty Collector = No, at any age. I was just looking to consider that this way of thinking may be what works against the older FA described in your scenario.


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## jewels_mystery (Mar 10, 2008)

superodalisque said:


> i wonder whether older FAs ever feel ignored by the younger BBWs. i know a few who feel that way. and, i was wondering if it were a trend or an individual thing.



I tend to date guys in the 10 younger or older range. But I get a lot more guys in their 50's and 60's. That is too much of a age difference for me (i am 38).


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## duraznos (Mar 10, 2008)

i'm 24, and i pretty much go for guys around my age... not arbitrarily, but i prefer when i guy is in a similar point in his life, has had similar experiences and can be just as silly as I am sometimes. maybe when i get older i'll still like 24-yr-olds though, lol


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## stefanie (Mar 10, 2008)

superodalisque said:


> i still find it kind of interesting that the real question is how age effects the desireabilty of FAs but the conversation still has managed to turn into what FAs think of bbws of different ages. what about what the women want? we discuss FA preferences a lot but what about bbw preferences re: age



I'm middle-aged, old enough to have a *child* in his 20s or 30s, so dating someone that age (were I single) just seems ... weird. Not that anyone that young would probably be interested, anyway ... ; )

By the time a man gets into his fifties or sixties, his life has sometimes become complicated. If he's dating, usually he's divorced; often he has kids with their own life issues to deal with. He's starting to experience the inevitable decline that signals aging. He may want a woman to "take care of him" - and for many middle-aged women, that's precisely what they *don't* want to do, especially if they're single as a result of widowhood. He may be laid off, or struggling with a chronic illness.

These difficult life circumstances do not preclude friendship or love. Sometimes it just gets more challenging, though.


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## superodalisque (Mar 10, 2008)

stefanie said:


> I'm middle-aged, old enough to have a *child* in his 20s or 30s, so dating someone that age (were I single) just seems ... weird. Not that anyone that young would probably be interested, anyway ... ; )
> 
> .



you'd be very surprised...


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## southernfa (Mar 10, 2008)

stefanie said:


> By the time a man gets into his fifties or sixties, his life has sometimes become complicated. If he's dating, usually he's divorced; often he has kids with their own life issues to deal with. He's starting to experience the inevitable decline that signals aging. He may want a woman to "take care of him" - and for many middle-aged women, that's precisely what they *don't* want to do, especially if they're single as a result of widowhood. He may be laid off, or struggling with a chronic illness.
> 
> These difficult life circumstances do not preclude friendship or love. Sometimes it just gets more challenging, though.



That is so depressing... if I were a woman I would probably enter a convent.

You made me think though about relationships. 

Not so very long ago, marriage was held to be a life-long institution and one of the benefits of that, when it worked, was that the participants had the 'time' and shared experience together to build a deep and enduring relationship. One that would literally endure the depredations of inevitable aging amongst other things. So with the natural passage of time and physical attraction and prowess diminished, there would still be sufficient benefits (friendship, love, trust) to carry one to the end of the course, as it were.

It occurs to me that for our generation, possibly the baby-boomers, and certainly our descendants; this no longer holds true. Relationships have statistically become less permanent. Most people will go through at least two 'permanent' relationships in their lives. There is tremendous emphasis in society to stay young, attractive, desirable, marketable; in short to live like a young person in their 20-30's.

I think it is a good thing, if one finds oneself single at any age, to have the confident belief that one might again find a partner. If that is what you want.

Conversely, I suspect that if we are always geared to acting, thinking and living like a young person, we will not develop the skills, experiences and attitudes to live successfully as an old person when our time comes. And what sort of role model are we to our descendants?


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## stefanie (Mar 10, 2008)

superodalisque said:


> you'd be very surprised...



Aww, you're sweet! ; )

*southernfa*, you make some good points.

I think if a person tries to hold on to the "traditional" ideas, tries to cling to how it was "when I was young," then middle age can indeed be a difficult time. In retrospect I did not mean to come across as hard to middle-aged men. Life however does sometimes leave its fingerprints on people.

Ultimately it's fruitless to live as if you're 25 forever. Yes, it would be nice, in fantasy, to have a 25-year old body *and* the experience (including the cunning, LOL) of middle age. At that point, I think I'd seek out men of my *mental* age anyway. (I still do have this powerful crush on Orson Welles ... :wink


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## Jane (Mar 12, 2008)

What a bunch of stereotyping crap.

I know 50 year olds with the maturity of a six year old.

It's not the age, it's the person.


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## AnnMarie (Mar 12, 2008)

Jane said:


> What a bunch of stereotyping crap.
> 
> I know 50 year olds with the maturity of a six year old.
> 
> It's not the age, it's the person.



Perfect. I had more words, but why bother - you nailed it. 

Not a rep square to spare.


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## Tina (Mar 12, 2008)

Me, either, but I have to ask: Jane, how do you _really_ feel? 

I don't think age makes the difference. Just as older guys can act really young, vibrant and care-free -- not to mention silly as hell -- younger guys can have wisdom beyond their apparent years. I used to go for older guys, but I've thrown away the way I used to think about younger guys. My guy is 7 years younger, which isn't much, but were I single, I'd consider guys much younger. And yeah, some young guys do go for older women.


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## Jane (Mar 12, 2008)

Tina said:


> Me, either, but I have to ask: Jane, how do you _really_ feel?
> 
> I don't think age makes the difference. Just as older guys can act really young, vibrant and care-free -- not to mention silly as hell -- younger guys can have wisdom beyond their apparent years. I used to go for older guys, but I've thrown away the way I used to think about younger guys. My guy is 7 years younger, which isn't much, but were I single, I'd consider guys much younger. And yeah, some young guys do go for older women.



I felt like I was being very subtle, Tina. Very subdued, indeed.


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## Prince Dyscord (Mar 12, 2008)

superodalisque said:


> but, counter to that BBWs seem to prefer younger FAs. i'm not sure if thats true. i could be over generalizing. i don't see anything wrong with that. but, i do wonder if FAs feel left out when they get older, and why that is. what do you think?



Actually I do remember being told quite a few times in the past that I was too young. When I was around 20-21. lol. Maybe things have changed in the last few years. 

I've always believed that age is just a number. If two people can connect and they fall for each other then who cares how old they are?

Besides society....they don't count.


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