# Massage questions



## butch (Nov 25, 2007)

I'm thinking about adding a monthly massage to my life (if the budget can afford it), and wanted to get feedback about the process. I've only had one massage in my life, and it was many years ago when I weighed under 300 pounds. 

So, what should I be looking for as an over 300 lbs. gal looking for a massage? Are there limitations due to my size, or are there styles of massage that are better suited for large people? Is there any way to find out if people in my area specialize in massage for larger bodies? If any of you get massages on a regular basis, tell me about that, please. My primary interest in massage is not for pain relief or stress relief or relaxation, but as part of a process of body integration-so its more of a way for me to make my mind/body connection stronger, and to introduce my body to the idea of touch, as I've been fairly touch averse for most of my life. Sorry if thats TMI, but it might make a huge difference in the type of massage I should seek out, so I figured I'd include that information, too.

Thanks for your help.


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## Sweet Tooth (Nov 25, 2007)

I've not had many professional massages in my life, but what I have had has ranged from barely worth it to incredible.

The last massage I got was likely the best. I _think _I weigh more than you and the table held me just fine. [I haven't asked if someone has had special training, just that their tables are able to hold someone my size.] Also, the room was darkened rather than having harsh, clinical lighting. I think both of those things made a huge difference in my enjoyment. The only drawback was that the spa where I had the most recent massage didn't have robes in my size so, if they provide a place to shower afterwards, I'd take one along.

I think the key to your enjoyment of the experience and the ability of the masseuse to meet your needs is to ask questions, and make sure they're asking questions of you. I had to fill out a form with questions about my health, my goals for massage, and preferences. She nailed it perfectly.


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## lypeaches (Nov 26, 2007)

My advice is...ask questions. If you don't feel comfortable doing it in person, maybe via email or phone? 

First simply ask if the therapist feels comfortable working with large bodies. And if they don't, can they recommend someone who does? 

I get massages roughly twice a month, through my gym. I was lucky enough to have found a wonderful lady who's no bigger than a minute, but what the hey, she knows how to work my body with no problems. I prefer deep tissue, myself, but everyone is different. I didn't know the different types when I first started, so in our first session, she gave me a sampler of the different massages, and I just went with what felt best to me. 

If you're not thrilled with the first time around...try someone else. A massage is a pretty personal thing, obviously, so you need to find someone who you feel comfortable with. I would suggest looking specifically for massage therapists that advertise more of the wholistic health / spiritual side of things...versus massages done at a day spa which focuses more on beauty treatments.

A great masseuse is worth their weight in gold. I'd say my back pain is reduced by about 80% by doing this.

Oh yes...weight when I started doing this was around 300, FWIW.


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## Jes (Nov 26, 2007)

Such a good idea. Consider a school and/or trainee as well. They have to put in their practice hours and might be cheaper. They might also be up for a new challenge (size--that might well be new to them). I'd recommend the massage angle. I've heard great things. 

of course, i've only tried it once. And a small asian lady climbed half on top of me and starting spanking my bare, bare ass.

and i kinda think i went to a "massage parlor" if you know what i'm saying....


sasha is the expert here, of course. in bare ass spanking, among other things.

also, your school might have links to cheap places and/or discounts. Mine apparently does (wellness program, etc) and i only just now heard of it!


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## Ash (Nov 26, 2007)

My roommate teaches and performs massage at the health center at your school, butch. You should go see her. Her name's Nichole, and she's lovely. I think she's only there on Monday afternoons, though, as she teaches her class on Monday mornings. 

I've never asked her about any of the considerations for a larger body, but I could, if you like. While I can't give you a recommendation based on her massages (as I've never gotten one from her), I can recommend her as a lovely, caring and accepting person. And that's a start, right?


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## Jes (Nov 26, 2007)

DO THIS.

now.


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## Tad (Nov 26, 2007)

Ashley said:


> My roommate teaches and performs massage at the health center at your school, butch. You should go see her. Her name's Nichole, and she's lovely. I think she's only there on Monday afternoons, though, as she teaches her class on Monday mornings.
> 
> I've never asked her about any of the considerations for a larger body, but I could, if you like. While I can't give you a recommendation based on her massages (as I've never gotten one from her), I can recommend her as a lovely, caring and accepting person. And that's a start, right?



Well dayum, if that doesn't count as fate I don't know what does. I know you are busy, and her calendar might be full, so let's say we'll expect a report back on December 17th?


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## butch (Nov 26, 2007)

I guess it is fate. I will look into the health center at my school (I'm guessing that is where the gym is, not the student health services place, where the doctors are. As you can tell, I've never been to the 'health and wellness' center, aka gym, in the 3+ years I've been at my school) and report back. I do know, though, that no one will be seeing my bare ass right off the bat when I get my massage. 

Thanks, Ashley-this is awesome!


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## Ruffie (Nov 26, 2007)

And I enjoy them completely with exception of one or two times when I had a therapist who worked me too hard and ended up bruising me. It is good for getting in touch with your body and knowing where your spots are that you are more sensitive than others, where you hold your tension and what needs to be worked on. You as other posters have suggested shold just double check to make sure the faiclity is "fat friendly" not only in terms of the equipment but that the therapists are respectful as well. Then relax and enjoy!!!
Ruth


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## JerseyGirl07093 (Nov 27, 2007)

Good post!
I was actually thinking of this very thing today.
I have always wanted to have a real full body massage but have some concerns because of my size.
As long as I knew I was going to someone who didn't make a big deal about me being big I would be fine with it. But also I would be concerned about getting up on the table, etc.
How I would love to be rubbed all over with oil, painted with seaweed, have hot rocks placed on me, wrapped in those foil-y looking hot blankets and have some cucumbers placed over my eyes! Sounds like heaven! :wubu:


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## liz (di-va) (Nov 27, 2007)

I have had a lot of massages...it is one of life's great pleasures! That I can afford much less than that sounds, but are always worth every penny.

Massage therapists, seems like, tend to like working on diff body types; I've heard some say they like bigger bodies, period. 

You want somebody responsive, not just talkin to them--they should talk to you first--but on the table too.

Another good sign is when they guess you're gonna need bolsters/pillows to be comfortable. FAt people - generally not comfy right off the bat on flat surfaces!!!

Should be a way to indicate when you're startin to get uncomfortable.

I hope you can get a good one! 

Oh! Also - emotions can really surface during a massage. It's surprising, what can come up. Want somebody who understands that/can roll with it!!!!


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## BigCutieSasha (Nov 27, 2007)

Jes said:


> sasha is the expert here, of course. in bare ass spanking, among other things.



Well thank you Jes. 

I always try to tell people that I wish massage could be a regular part of everyday health. The benefits of massage are more than just to relax you or to relieve a little muscle pain. Massage can get rid of cronic pains, headaches, TMJ, pitted edema (I know from experience), high blood pressure, even digestive issues. The list can go on and on. If anyone ever has a chance for a massage they should take it. I would suggest massage once to twice a month.

Financially it can be a strain but there are ways around this. There is a place called Massage Envy that is opening ALL over the country now and it has a membership which can cut back on the cost of regular massages costing 60-75 dollars an hour. Massage Envy's massages are on average 40-50 an hour, plus they have the benefit of longer hours and open 7 days a week. 

Another option is going to massage schools. They can be anywhere from 20-40 dollars and hour, but you are being massaged by students. So for treatment work is isn't always the most consistent. 

Butch- a good massage therapist shouldn't have a problem working with anyone of any size. The one thing you can and might ask about is the type of table they have and the weight capacity. Most tables I know can and will hold up to a large amount of weight. Plus its a great way to integrate touch. It sounds like you are going to benefit from these massage in every way you can. Yay!


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## Jes (Nov 27, 2007)

one word i'd say: i've only had this done once and n=1 is a really bad sample size, but the rub lady asked me what sort of massage i wanted (and there are, of course, different types) and how much pressure to apply. I didn't want a kind of light rub down--that's not why i was going to a massage therapist, you know? i wanted the kinks to be gone!

uh, thing is, she beat me up. I think maybe she was trying to do some kind of lymphatic drainage b/c she abused my armpit area. Also? i think her fingers almost slipped into the back porch. And then there was the spanking. I'm starting to think i went to a sex place, and that brings me shame.

anyway, i'm not trying to scare you off at all. I suspect my experience was unusual. But if asked, I would say 'light to medium' pressure or medium, and then see what that's like, and go from there. 'More pressure would be fine' kind of thing. Oh, and no ass slapping. Unless you're into that.


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## BigCutieSasha (Nov 27, 2007)

Jes said:


> one word i'd say: i've only had this done once and n=1 is a really bad sample size, but the rub lady asked me what sort of massage i wanted (and there are, of course, different types) and how much pressure to apply. I didn't want a kind of light rub down--that's not why i was going to a massage therapist, you know? i wanted the kinks to be gone!
> 
> uh, thing is, she beat me up. I think maybe she was trying to do some kind of lymphatic drainage b/c she abused my armpit area. Also? i think her fingers almost slipped into the back porch. And then there was the spanking. I'm starting to think i went to a sex place, and that brings me shame.
> 
> anyway, i'm not trying to scare you off at all. I suspect my experience was unusual. But if asked, I would say 'light to medium' pressure or medium, and then see what that's like, and go from there. 'More pressure would be fine' kind of thing. Oh, and no ass slapping. Unless you're into that.



Usually a good therapist checks in with the client for pressure. They should only go as deep as you want. If its too much by all means speak up. Something tells me Jes that you liked it rough though.


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## Jes (Nov 27, 2007)

BigCutieSasha said:


> Usually a good therapist checks in with the client for pressure. They should only go as deep as you want. If its too much by all means speak up. Something tells me Jes that you liked it rough though.



hahaha. No! I was terrified! 

The whole thing was very weird, Sasha. Seriously. I get in there and get naked--but there was this spot where the blinds didn't cover the window and all the rooms surroundined the waiting room/pay desk and i was like: can people see in? and then i arranged the towel just so and waited and the lady came in and whipped that towel off me so fast to put it back on the 'right' way, and oh dear god, she started in, and at one point, when her greased up fingers almost slid into home plate, i wish there had been a camera under the face rest b/c my eyelids flapped open like a cartoon character--flapflapflap like blinds being pulled down and then let go. And I was like: is this normal? is this normal? OH GOD, WHY IS SHE SMACKING MY BARE ASS? I DON"T THINK THIS IS NORMAL!!

and then, over th course of the hour i just silently put up with it -- i didn't want to be a weenie or a newbie and there was a language barrier and then i kind of decided to get into it. if someone was gonna touch me, then i was gonna try to enjoy it. by the end, after the nudity, the butthole-nearness, all the ass smacking, the fact that she was touching my side-boobs, I was like: I think we've bonded. This feels special.

and then, like a book snapping shut, she says: OK, LADY, YOU PAY NOW. and walks out of the room. 

Like I was a trick, a john, and there was no closeness. no intimacy. only cold hard cash.

i felt used and i'm not gonna lie.


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## liz (di-va) (Nov 27, 2007)

Just to note--lymphatic drainage massage is *very* light, done with very light repetitive strokes; people who like harder massage styles, like deep tissue, can think it's wimpy or ineffectual! (Not that these massage styles have the same goals/are comparable, quite, but some people have experienced both, even without lymphedema.) Not to mention--nobody should be going at lymph nodes 100 mph anyhow, whatever the massage style is. But especially people trained in lymph treatment would never do that. So I don't know what that was, Jes! Yoiks.

Butch I was thinking...another thing about pressure? What you want/where (I find) often changes over the course of the massage. In a regular massage I definitely cannot dive on in...my tissues kind of have to be wooed, eased into it. This is another thing I look for in a good massiotherapist--somebody who gets that/can work with it! Cause you might sound like you're contradicting yourself, but what works one moment might not 20 min later! Muscles relax, fascia get all unstuck...

Golly I love massages. I think Sasha's so right -- wish they were built into everyday life as part of general health.


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## Miss Vickie (Nov 27, 2007)

Hey, just to let you guys know.... sometimes insurance companies pay for massage. Uh huh. They do! Mine pays for unlimited massages (Principal Financial, I *heart* you), provided they are recommended by a doctor. 

Since my awesome, first-ever male massage therapist works with my chiropractor, I get them every other week, followed by a much more effective chiropractic adjustment and they are divine and both are covered by my insurance. Bruce was a construction worker before his body started giving out and he switched to massage. So he's got the strongest hands but he never ever hurts me. He specializes in body work, visceral massage and he's perfect for my body aches; his massages are less the all over relaxing kind (though he gave me one of those last week on my birthday) and usually focused on whatever pain issues I'm having at the time. Doing the work I do, coupled with the fact that I have an extra joint in my sacrum and hyper mobile hip joints means that I'm pretty constantly having low back and hip problems. Nothing like holding a 45 pound leg for an hour while twisting to chart, adjust IV's and hand things to the midwife to mess up your spine. 

In short? Massage is wonderful, but be sure to check with your insurance company to see if they will cover it. Many policies do, and it's nice 'cause you can then have them more often!


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## BigCutieSasha (Nov 27, 2007)

OMG jes! That would make me never want a massage again. I don't understand the smacking of the ass. I put my elbow in peoples glutes, but no smacking.


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## lypeaches (Nov 27, 2007)

BigCutieSasha said:


> OMG jes! That would make me never want a massage again. I don't understand the smacking of the ass. I put my elbow in peoples glutes, but no smacking.




OMG...that's my favorite move...the elbow in the ass! Seriously! :smitten:


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## BigCutieSasha (Nov 27, 2007)

lypeaches said:


> OMG...that's my favorite move...the elbow in the ass! Seriously! :smitten:



Oh yeah, that move, when done right, feels soooo good.


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## butch (Nov 27, 2007)

Thanks everyone for the responses-I feel so educated now, and very excited to follow through with a regular massage program. I love how helpful the people here at Dims are, and know I won't be the only one benefiting from this thread.


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## Jes (Nov 27, 2007)

BigCutieSasha said:


> OMG jes! That would make me never want a massage again. I don't understand the smacking of the ass. I put my elbow in peoples glutes, but no smacking.



do you think i went to a sex place? and she was giving me a happy ending? 

i swear...it's kind of embarrasing...

i don't think she was probably sex-smacking it. I think it was...it SOUNDED like smacking and felt like smacking and i can't recall just what i thought it was at the time, but it was probably a real massage 'move.' But godDAMN it was weird.


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## Fascinita (Nov 27, 2007)

I've had a number of massages, some great, only two really bad. One woman just had this look of distaste on her face everytime I happened to get a look at her as she massaged me. She lectured me at the beginning about the dangers of being obese and really kinda kept peppering the massage with all kinds of dieting suggestions. So that I really began to feel gross, being handled by someone who evidently had all these issues with fat. I should've cut it short the instant she mentioned weight loss, but I was in this weird time in my life when I was like "I'm gonna try and be open to what the world has to teach me." Never again, though. The worst part of this was shelling out my cash at the end of the session--this was at a time when I'd been working like a dog and earning next-to-nothing at an entry-level job I took so I could "break" into a new career, really an impoverished time in my financial life, so it hurt a lot to shell out that cash to that nasty masseuse. It all took place under the auspices of a gym/health club, by the way.

The other kind of bad experience wasn't as bad, more annoying. I interviewed this therapist who was talking the talk about qi gong and all kinds of eastern ideas, and she talked big about being a big girl herself and so understanding my "special" needs, but when the time came to walk the walk, with me on the massage table, she walked in smelling heavily of pot and acting dopey, and the "massage" was just a great disappointment where she lightly ran her hands over my flesh a few times and talked a lot about all her services and how I as a fattie really could probably use this kind of positive energy in my life. I felt that she was trying to "get in my head" to sell me more massages: "Well you're fat so you must be miserable and I have just the $150/hr cure for you." That's wrong on so many levels! Plus she was too stoned or lazy to do a proper massage. This all took place in her home. 

Other than that, though, I've loved getting massaged, though it's been a while. Maybe I'm due for another one. We can get 'em at the local massage school for like $40/hr.

Jes: maybe you went to a place not strictly one way or the other... maybe both regular and "happy ending" style go on in some places. but i mean, it's no big deal if it's less than clinical, i think. as long as it was hygienic! have you been back there? maybe you could stake them out to see what kind of clientele goes in there?


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## Jes (Nov 28, 2007)

no, fasc. Once was enough. I've decided that from now on, if someone is gonna slap my bare ass, then he/she is gonna need to put something in my hootie, as well. No hootie, no slapping.


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## BigCutieSasha (Nov 28, 2007)

The only thing i can assume from the ass slapping Jes is that she took a tapotement move WAY to far. 

I feel so bad about some of the stories here. It just shows what can happen when the education requirements in some states aren't up to what hopefully will be a national standard. Some states don't require a massage therapist to have any form of education or a license. Scary huh? 

If EVER you feel you massage therapist over stepped their bounds with touch or even conversation you can report them. If they even have a license it will be taken and they may never legally massage again.


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