# Are there any feedees in this community that are not paysite models?



## mergirl (Jan 18, 2010)

This is something i wondered. Not saying they are pretending because they are models though i wonder if maby the fact they are feedees is a factor in them 'becoming' models.
Either/or i'm not sure i have met a feedee here who doesn't have a paysite. I wonder how many feedees are actually out there. It seems like there are a lot more feeders than feedees. Is this a problem in the feeder community?


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## KHayes666 (Jan 18, 2010)

mergirl said:


> This is something i wondered. Not saying they are pretending because they are models though i wonder if maby the fact they are feedees is a factor in them 'becoming' models.
> Either/or i'm not sure i have met a feedee here who doesn't have a paysite. I wonder how many feedees are actually out there. It seems like there are a lot more feeders than feedees. Is this a problem in the feeder community?



I know about 15 off the top of my head who are feedees yet aren't associated with paysites. However a lot of them are thinking about doing them because they need the money to pay for bills, tuition or rent.

Some people want to enjoy the fetish with a partner and nobody else, hence why they keep it private.


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## mergirl (Jan 19, 2010)

Like 'closet feedees'? 
Your friends need to know that if they do porn it wont be a secret anymore!! Also, that they can get jobs in other areas of buisness that pay better!


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## Suze (Jan 19, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> Some people want to enjoy the fetish with a partner and nobody else, hence why they keep it private.


but yet those 15 people told you about it. how odd.


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## KHayes666 (Jan 19, 2010)

Suze said:


> but yet those 15 people told you about it. how odd.



I'm talking about enjoying it without trying to make a buck off of it. I know a lot of feeder/feedee couples that are on paysites and clips4sales and there's nothing wrong with it...just saying I know some couples who prefer to keep it private. Sure they'll tell their friends (in my case) but for the most part there aren't any photoshoots, youtube vids or blogs to be made about it.

Wasn't talking about closet cases, was talking about people who don't want to be in the spotlight


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## mergirl (Jan 20, 2010)

It seems that as far as this community goes the feedees hide away with their preference or have it as a part of their fetish paysites. I find it funny there are no inbetweens. ie. Feedees who discuss their preferences and are open about them without also selling them.


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## disconnectedsmile (Jan 20, 2010)

mergirl said:


> It seems that as far as this community goes the feedees hide away with their preference or have it as a part of their fetish paysites. I find it funny there are no inbetweens. ie. Feedees who discuss their preferences and are open about them without also selling them.


i repped this post.


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## Theotherone (Jan 21, 2010)

It's kind of an interesting identity question mergirl raises. Maybe deciding to model is part of the spectrum of awakening to their identify as a feedee. I mean, if these folks get over the barrier of seeing their desire to feed as being bad (which I think we all have to agree is the general consensus), then maybe the next step is to further glamorize by modeling.


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## Tooz (Jan 21, 2010)

Oh, yes, they exist.


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## Weeze (Jan 21, 2010)

Tooz said:


> Oh, yes, they exist.



I'm a fuckin' yetti.


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## Preston (Jan 21, 2010)

krismiss said:


> I'm a fuckin' yetti.



That explains a thing or twelve.


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## Weeze (Jan 21, 2010)

Preston said:


> That explains a thing or twelve.



You have such a way with words :wubu::wubu::wubu::wubu::wubu::wubu:


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## superodalisque (Jan 22, 2010)

i don't know if its true anymore but i know someone in his 50s who has been around for a long time and says he has yet to meet a true feedee. i don't know if its true or not or if its different for younger people or what. i just thought it was interesting. i won't say the other stuff he said about it because i don't want to piss people off uneccessarily. i just thought i'd throw it out there for discussion. i'm curious to hear what other people's opinion is of that thought. is he mistaken, misdirected or what?


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## mergirl (Jan 22, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> i don't know if its true anymore but i know someone in his 50s who has been around for a long time and says he has yet to meet a true feedee. i don't know if its true or not or if its different for younger people or what. i just thought it was interesting. i won't say the other stuff he said about it because i don't want to piss people off uneccessarily. i just thought i'd throw it out there for discussion. i'm curious to hear what other people's opinion is of that thought. is he mistaken, misdirected or what?


What does your friend mean by 'true feedee'? That the fetish is one which is inbuilt somehow? ie. That is is a product of early childhood experience and is a major componant of their sexuality as opposed to an extention of enjoyment of eating and sex. 
I think personally that those who engage in the latter are as much feedees as those men who say they are straight but will let a guy give them a blowjob. Its more about mechanics and pleasure than an inner driven desire
ETA-Though, as i have learned from here it usually boils down to the symantics not yet decided on by a core group and seems quite subjective in many ways.


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## superodalisque (Jan 22, 2010)

mergirl said:


> What does your friend mean by 'true feedee'? That the fetish is one which is inbuilt somehow? ie. That is is a product of early childhood experience and is a major componant of their sexuality as opposed to an extention of enjoyment of eating and sex.
> I think personally that those who engage in the latter are as much feedees as those men who say they are straight but will let a guy give them a blowjob. Its more about mechanics and pleasure than an inner driven desire
> ETA-Though, as i have learned from here it usually boils down to the symantics not yet decided on by a core group and seems quite subjective in many ways.



-well what he was getting at was that he personally thought that a lot of feedees he had known were:

-vulnerable women who would do whatever a feeder wanted to keep male attention and would adopt the mantra or dogma for a while for a particular person

-someone looking for a cover for food addiction as an alternative to just feeling and looking out of control

-someone not necessarily enjoying thier size but just needing to find a justification for being as fat as they are and a supportive admiring community to be behind them

-someone addicted to the attention because they had never had any for thier looks before

-someone trying to make a buck

he pretty much believes its not an inborn drive for most BBWs. this is not my personal perspective since i really have no idea. i don't have the ability to see inside of people. i can understand where he might think that though. he had said that over the years people who professed to be feedees had not stood up to the test of time. this could of course be some bitterness talking about the ability to find a partner appropriate for him that would manifest his own personal fantasies. but it does make me wonder --is it possible for a need for a fetish to change or diminish over the years as well? it might not be that they aren't real feedees but possibly that thier focus might move elsewhere. it also makes me wonder in particular whether there is a difference between women and men and how they are attached to thier fetish and how we view that. i have also heard of people into S&M etc... say that their interest changed for various reasons. i wonder if thats whats going on there and not so much whether someone's interest is "real" or not.

i know a LOT of male feedees but it seems to me that they are approached differently from females. some are even very thin and fit and actually prefer to stay that way even though they have the fantasy to be a feedee. but it seems to me that women are expected to show the results of being a feedee more. i wonder if thats really true or not as well. i have to be honest and say that is the impression i have often gotten from reading dims. i wonder if people tend to like to say that others are not real feedees out of the frustration of not being able to see an actual physical gain. also you can't leave out the people who would like to characterize people as fakes simply because they are against feedism overall and are looking for anything to prove that it isn't valid and that ther is something "wrong" with the people engaged in it. i had always thought that a fetish fantasy could run the gamut from just talking about it to actually doing it. i was under the impression that fantasy engaged just by talking about it and role playing was just as much a function of fetish as actually "showing the signs" of being involved. i'm not sure that not showing the signs of having been feed is necessarily lying about a preference as some people might characterize it but just the outgrowth of another way to engage fantasy.

also interesting to note: the person that i'm talking about has come to feel over the years that too much extra weight is bad for BBWs and he worries for the health of his friends and has even been known to encourage people to lose weight for the sake of regaining thier mobility etc... goes to show you how complex and multi layered life really is and why its important not to judge a book by a perceived cover.


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## chicken legs (Jan 22, 2010)

mergirl said:


> This is something i wondered. Not saying they are pretending because they are models though i wonder if maby the fact they are feedees is a factor in them 'becoming' models.
> Either/or i'm not sure i have met a feedee here who doesn't have a paysite. I wonder how many feedees are actually out there. It seems like there are a lot more feeders than feedees. Is this a problem in the feeder community?




Outside "this" community a feeder is basically anyone who cooks for pleasure and or serves food to others for pleasure . A feedee is someone who gets some sort of pleasure from eating food. Having working in the Food and Beverage industry I saw alot of it. Most cooks and chefs are feeders and feedee's are considered foodies or gourmets. 

Not sure were I fit in because, depending on the person, I get turned on by watching people eat. To me, its an indicator of how they will be ...in bed.



On a side thought..

Back in the late 80's/ early 90's the big thing in the news was anorexia/bulimia which shed light on those who couldn't handle their love of food and tried to hide it by puking it up, taking laxatives, or working out for hours.


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 22, 2010)

Yeah, they exist. I know plenty. Besides, all paysite girls are non-paysite girls at one point so it would seem to reason that there are some non-paysite girls out there right now who are feedees. Personally, I entertain the fantasy a little in my paysite stuff but let me tell you.. it ain't NOTHING compared to what's really swirling around my head.. mostly because I don't want to constantly be bothered by questions about how much I'm gaining and all that crap.. because.. I'm not gaining, on purpose at least, and if you say out and out, yeah I'm a feedee well then the expectation is you're gaining and will do so on your site.. so I mostly leave it out. Plus, it's pretty personal for me.. especially once you get into specific fantasies and stuff. Anyway I've gone off on a tangent but the answer is yes and I don't think they're as rare as we're led to believe.


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## Ample Pie (Jan 23, 2010)

I'm a real feedee. I have no pay site. I've never been quiet about being a feedee. Even have my own non-pay-site about feedism. 

ps: I hope my answer doesn't imply that I think people with pay-sites aren't real or even real feedees, I'm just trying to answer all parts of the question.


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## Jigen (Jan 23, 2010)

I have never met one. T_T But I'm sure they exist.


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## fatcow3h (Jan 23, 2010)

i agree there are girls without sites. i've been close to opening a site but havnet cause of various reasons. every little bit of money does help though.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 23, 2010)

> he pretty much believes its not an inborn drive for most BBWs. this is not my personal perspective since i really have no idea. i don't have the ability to see inside of people. i can understand where he might think that though. he had said that over the years people who professed to be feedees had not stood up to the test of time. this could of course be some bitterness talking about the ability to find a partner appropriate for him that would manifest his own personal fantasies. but it does make me wonder --.... it might not be that they aren't real feedees but possibly that thier focus might move elsewhere. it also makes me wonder in particular whether there is a difference between women and men and how they are attached to thier fetish and how we view that. i have also heard of people into S&M etc... say that their interest changed for various reasons. i wonder if thats whats going on there and not so much whether someone's interest is "real" or not.



Whether it's inborn or just imprinted somehow at an early age, it's really important to seperate gender and size from having a sexual fetish. People of either gender and of all sizes get turned on by feeding or being fed or some variation of this along the lines of body inflation or bloating or stuffing. It's a big mistake to assume someody is into feederism just because they're fat or to assume a fat person got that way for any particular reason. I'd say it's statistically pretty unlikely for a random fat person to have gotten that way because they're feedees, so trolling the BBW world trying to find one makes it no more or less likely than finding one anyplace else.



> is it possible for a need for a fetish to change or diminish over the years as well?



Possibly. But probably not. If that were the case wouldn't somebody in his fifties be over it by now?

It's also possible for somebody to be into this and not really make it a big part of their life. The could just jerk off to it and go about their business and never even know about bashes or Fantasy Feeder or Dims or paysites with this theme.

I will never ever ever understand the need some people have to "understand" this fetish or to try to explain it away as being something other than what it is. I'm not trying to insult the OP here, it's just that these ruminations don't make any more sense to me than everyone sitting around trying to determine why some people are transgendered or have shoe fetishes. It's fair to say it's probably a combination of inborn-ness and early childhood imprinting, which is why most people recall being into it from childhood. 

As thatgirl08 has pointed out, it sexualizes something not typically sexualized, but for most people it is strictly about sex. It's not about cooking for your lover and it's not about going against social norms that tell everyone to be skinny and it's not about doing something for approval (you may behave that way, but that doesn't make you a feedee anymore than being with a fat person makes you an FA) and it's not about anything other than getting a sexual charge from this particular idea or activity. That is all it is. The likelihood that anyone is gonna suddenly have a lightbulb go off over their head and understand it is pretty dim seeing as that most people who have it dont' know why they have it.


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## superodalisque (Jan 23, 2010)

i don't wonder that there are feedees who just don't tell anybody. people really don't make the environment all that secure for them to be able to. but it might help a lot if they could because it might dispel some stereotypes.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 23, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> i don't wonder that there are feedees who just don't tell anybody. people really don't make the environment all that secure for them to be able to. but it might help a lot if they could because it might dispel some stereotypes.



To be blunt about it, the most stereotypes seem to exist here. The majority of people outside of this community have either never heard of it or even if they have and think it's like the movie "Feed" they're not strongly emotionally invested in it and are easily turned away from the negative stereotype. I had a RL friend who had nothing to do with this community see a review of the movie. She knew i practiced it and said "So I heard about this movie but i'm guessing it's really nothing like this, right?" Most reasonable people don't think there are legions of men with 600 pound women tied up to feeding tubes in their basements. The times i've told people i was into this i generally get a blank stare or like a "wow..that's crazy..ok..whatever" the same as most people would react to any sexual fetish they don't have. I'm not sure on a mundane level it's that interesting. So long as they don't see a miserable SS man panting along behind me while I furiously masturbate to his discomfort, they probably are going to leave well enough alone.


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## fatcow3h (Jan 23, 2010)

yes it is very difficult to "come out" online and in person. maybe one day society will be more accepting of this.


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 23, 2010)

Despite the notion this site is all about fetish it's actually really hard to talk about it on here.. too much stigma, too many stereotypes. And now I feel too invested in Dims emotionally to just lay it all out because I worry what people will think.. the people who I've met & who I care about on here. 99% of the time I wish I had kept it completly quiet but it's too late for that.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 23, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> Despite the notion this site is all about fetish it's actually really hard to talk about it on here.. too much stigma, too many stereotypes. And now I feel too invested in Dims emotionally to just lay it all out because I worry what people will think.. the people who I've met & who I care about on here. 99% of the time I wish I had kept it completly quiet but it's too late for that.



You should talk about things only if you're comfortable. 

That being said, nobody has the right to judge you or think differently of you as a person because of what your sexuality is. Humans are sexual beings by nature; everyone is wired differently and anyone who is thinking about things that turn you on is probably turned on by things that would seem just as bizarre to you.

Personally I've explored and discussed going to some pretty extreme places with this fetish. My take on this is so long as nobody is harmed, coerced, or disrespected, what i or a partner fantasizes about or does is between us. If anyone chooses to discuss it, that needs to be respected. Nobody has to understand it; they just have to respect anyone's right to have it.


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 23, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> You should talk about things only if you're comfortable.
> 
> That being said, nobody has the right to judge you or think differently of you as a person because of what your sexuality is. Humans are sexual beings by nature; everyone is wired differently and anyone who is thinking about things that turn you on is probably turned on by things that would seem just as bizarre to you.
> 
> Personally I've explored and discussed going to some pretty extreme places with this fetish. My take on this is so long as nobody is harmed, coerced, or disrespected, what i or a partner fantasizes about or does is between us. If anyone chooses to discuss it, that needs to be respected. Nobody has to understand it; they just have to respect anyone's right to have it.



Ultimately that is true, and generally speaking I don't let it stop me but sometimes I'm like ugh, why did I even bring this up!?


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## fatcow3h (Jan 23, 2010)

yes i agree 100 percent


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## Gspoon (Jan 23, 2010)

I know lots of em! They are great to talk to. It actually leaves a bit of mystery actually.

Paysite models may post a new set once every week and say they have gained some (If they are feedees/gainers). And a girl who is a gainer/feedee that doesn't post about it may tell you a few months later that they went from 250 up to 300. Not saying I don't like watching girls gradually gain, but sometimes hearing about a girl who had been a lighter weight gaining a lot more weight than you were expecting is always a treat.

Nonetheless, gaining is awesome... but as long as they are enjoying it or accept it


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## chicken legs (Jan 24, 2010)

While looking up a term to label why my ex was trying to make me fat is how I initially ran across FA/BBW type sites like this one. Unfortunately, the term feeder really didn't apply to him because he was.. in no way shape or form... a FA. For him, it was a way to control/limited my activities. It backfired because I am a FA and got off on my own fat and broke up with him.


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## mergirl (Jan 25, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> -well what he was getting at was that he personally thought that a lot of feedees he had known were:
> 
> -vulnerable women who would do whatever a feeder wanted to keep male attention and would adopt the mantra or dogma for a while for a particular person
> 
> ...



See, i'm sure for some this may be the case though not all. I guess i wondered how many people actually discuss this fetish here and if the reason they might not discuss it was because either it was taboo even here, like Thatgirl mentioned or there were just not that many people involved (This could mean in a real life capacity and also supression of urges too though). The reason i asked about 'non paysite models' is that i know that the gainer/feedee part can be either made up or exentuated because its what the custumer wants. I can understand that but i don't think it gives an accurate portrayal in many ways. I wondered too if there are reasons for more men seemingly being into this. Like you said, the majority of the male feedees/gainers seem to be thin too. 
I don't believe that any fetish is innate, so i would agree with your friend on that point; Though i guess the mechanism to eat is evolutionary and innate, though just not sexualised.


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## Jigen (Jan 25, 2010)

Gspoon said:


> I know lots of em! They are great to talk to. It actually leaves a bit of mystery actually.
> 
> Paysite models may post a new set once every week and say they have gained some (If they are feedees/gainers). And a girl who is a gainer/feedee that doesn't post about it may tell you a few months later that they went from 250 up to 300. Not saying I don't like watching girls gradually gain, but sometimes hearing about a girl who had been a lighter weight gaining a lot more weight than you were expecting is always a treat.
> 
> Nonetheless, gaining is awesome... but as long as they are enjoying it or accept it



I agree, Spoon. I guess in the United States it's easier to find them. Here in old Europe I find pretty hard to find any kind of feedee.


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## geekybibabe (Jan 25, 2010)

I consider myself a feedee, in that I derive intense sexual pleasure from both eating large amounts of food and from gaining weight. 

I have felt this way since I was a child. 

That said, in real life I have never been romantically involved with a feeder, and I do practice a certain degree of moderation. There's a constant tension in my life between practicality and sensuality.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 25, 2010)

> I wondered too if there are reasons for more men seemingly being into this.



Seemingly being the important notation there. There are no paysites featuring gaining men with one exception and that one caters to bisexual males as well as females. Even though several sites feature gaining women, women still come here and read about how feeders are awful manipulative individuals and how they prey on vulnerable women which implies that nobody _really_ is into being a feedee/gainer. That also can make female feeders look suspect because feeders are "supposed to be" male and "supposed to be" dishonest and manipulative. 

Since Dims also has a constant tension between WB posters and those who find it disturbing, this isn't the best environment to discuss it or to feel comfortable being open about it because you're pretty likely to read a post where somebody insists their right to free speech has been infringed upon if they can't go to the WB and tell everyone how disturbing their turn-ons are and how it makes certain people really really uncomfortable. These are the posts that will always note the poster is totally down with fetishism and has his or her own crazy kinks but that they _just desperately NEED to be able to express how negatively they feel about feederism and related turn ons._


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 25, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> i don't know if its true anymore but i know someone in his 50s who has been around for a long time and says he has yet to meet a true feedee. i don't know if its true or not or if its different for younger people or what. i just thought it was interesting. i won't say the other stuff he said about it because i don't want to piss people off uneccessarily. i just thought i'd throw it out there for discussion. i'm curious to hear what other people's opinion is of that thought. is he mistaken, misdirected or what?



I guess it depends on what his definition of "true feedee" is. I consider myself a true feedee. I find eating and weight gain arousing and in a perfect world I'd gain weight. Unfortunately though, our world isn't perfect and weight gain has a limit and comes with consequences. I've had men tell me that I'm not a true feedee because I'm not currently actively gaining. Guess what I say? Fuck them. When they understand, FIRST HAND, what it is like to be fat, especially over 300 pounds, in our society and the effect that weight gain can have on someone, physically, mentally, emotionally, socially.. then they can talk. I don't tolerate men trying to tell me what to do with my body. If they try to convince me to gain weight, or tell me that it isn't that big of a deal or that "a little more wouldn't hurt" the conversation stops. Those are the people that tell me I'm not a true feedee, that I'm making it up or doing it for attention without any follow through. I honestly do not give a fuck because gaining hundreds of pounds for faceless men on the internet is so ridiculous that I refuse to even entertain the idea anymore.


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 25, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Since Dims also has a constant tension between WB posters and those who find it disturbing, this isn't the best environment to discuss it or to feel comfortable being open about it[/I]



This. However, I've more or less come to the conclusion that Dims isn't the best place to discuss fetishes because there is mixed company here and a good percentage of the people here aren't comfortable with it. I'm not thrilled with it, but Dims isn't hospitable to that kind of discussion. I know a lot of people who are into the fetish but don't want to post. I honestly think you'd be surprised, in a lot of cases, who on here is into it or how "dark" some peoples fantasies are.


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## chicken legs (Jan 25, 2010)

As a FFA ...I view everyone on this board and IRL who is overweight or been overweight a feedee.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 25, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> This. However, I've more or less come to the conclusion that Dims isn't the best place to discuss fetishes because there is mixed company here and a good percentage of the people here aren't comfortable with it. I'm not thrilled with it, but Dims isn't hospitable to that kind of discussion. *I know a lot of people who are into the fetish but don't want to post. I honestly think you'd be surprised, in a lot of cases, who on here is into it or how "dark" some peoples fantasies are*.



And see this is the problem because it's ridiculous to have a gathering of people who are into *something* they likely don't have a venue to discuss IRL and they get silenced because a fairly small contingent on this site can't leave well enough alone. I honestly feel like the majority of posters on here would easily not bother and just not come to this part of the board, but there are always going to be some people who think it's their right to come here and harass people.

What amazes me even more is the insistence by some people to actually loosen the restrictions on what people can say because somebody, somewhere might have had bad experiences with feeders and thus needs to offer unwanted commentary. To me that is 100% the same as allowing somebody who's straight but had at some point been harassed by somebody of the same gender to patrol the LGBT board and insist that gays actually are predatory and likely to harass straight people.


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## Santaclear (Jan 25, 2010)

Yeah, I hear this is really quite a problem.


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 25, 2010)

Santaclear said:


> Yeah, I hear this is really quite a problem.



You're really funny.


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## Wagimawr (Jan 25, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> This. However, I've more or less come to the conclusion that Dims isn't the best place to discuss fetishes because there is mixed company here and a good percentage of the people here aren't comfortable with it. I'm not thrilled with it, but Dims isn't hospitable to that kind of discussion. I know a lot of people who are into the fetish but don't want to post. I honestly think you'd be surprised, in a lot of cases, who on here is into it or how "dark" some peoples fantasies are.


Where would you recommend going? I'm on FF but the "faceless" quotient (which for me usually involves people that either a) can't spell or b) can't hold a conversation without making a poorly-worded creepy compliment) is pretty high there too.


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## thatgirl08 (Jan 25, 2010)

Wagimawr said:


> Where would you recommend going? I'm on FF but the "faceless" quotient (which for me usually involves people that either a) can't spell or b) can't hold a conversation without making a poorly-worded creepy compliment) is pretty high there too.



There is no where. FF is too faceless and too many people not wanting to discuss, just wank. Don't get me wrong, wanking has it's place but.. it doesn't make for good discussion. Personal PMs and IMs is where 99% of my discussion about it occurs. Or, ADF on FB  haha.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 25, 2010)

Wagimawr said:


> Where would you recommend going? I'm on FF but the "faceless" quotient (which for me usually involves people that either a) can't spell or b) can't hold a conversation without making a poorly-worded creepy compliment) is pretty high there too.



She shouldn't have to go somewhere else because a small bunch of grownups can't resist trolling this board. Simple application of the Golden Rule would work just fine.


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## superodalisque (Jan 25, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Seemingly being the important notation there. There are no paysites featuring gaining men with one exception and that one caters to bisexual males as well as females. Even though several sites feature gaining women, women still come here and read about how feeders are awful manipulative individuals and how they prey on vulnerable women which implies that nobody _really_ is into being a feedee/gainer. That also can make female feeders look suspect because feeders are "supposed to be" male and "supposed to be" dishonest and manipulative.
> 
> Since Dims also has a constant tension between WB posters and those who find it disturbing, this isn't the best environment to discuss it or to feel comfortable being open about it because you're pretty likely to read a post where somebody insists their right to free speech has been infringed upon if they can't go to the WB and tell everyone how disturbing their turn-ons are and how it makes certain people really really uncomfortable. These are the posts that will always note the poster is totally down with fetishism and has his or her own crazy kinks but that they _just desperately NEED to be able to express how negatively they feel about feederism and related turn ons._



i dunno but i am surprised a female feeder finds much opposition IRL. hey, on dims no one has a situation where no one has a problem with them and what they are doing and thier opinions so maybe thats not a realistic background for being a feeder or feedee. its seems that its always been kind of acceptable to make a man fat. maybe the reason is the perception is that men aren't going to do something they don't really want to do --whether thats true or not. no one thinks its strange if a woman tells her lover that she loves seeing him eat and enjoy his food. i'm not sure people find it odd at all if a man gains when he is in a relationship. they just assume he's happy relaxed and eating well. nobody seems to care all that much if a woman thinks fat men are sexy. but its interesting to see the reaction when you turn all that around. it might have something to do with the fact that women feeders have been able to "normalize" feeding for lack of a better term. to society it just looks like a loving and nurturing act. maybe the problem that male feeders have is that they haven't yet been quite able to cross that gulf. so people aren't sure that what they are doing with a feedee is loving. maybe it has more to do with the language and expression around it rather than whats actually going on? 

i know some guys who wouldn't characterized themselves as feeders can do it much easier with virtually no opposition. maybe because it at least appears to be more sensualized. i was talking with some people about this recently and a guy who is an FA and not a feeder said that the language of feeders on dims reminded him of people growing a pumpkins in 4H. its all rather scientific and disconnected at times --more about the mechanisms. so i'm wondering if feedees who are female and get the sexy sensualized treatment rather than the weighing measuring and competing treatment actually don't feel like they are feedees even though they might be one? maybe they just feel like a sexy woman her guy wants to do something nice for and not so much just a project he likes to work on for self enrichment? i know for myself i allow non feeders to do things for me that i never could with a feeder since it doesn't come off as being as self centered but more loving. i'm not posing this idea to attack--just saying. so maybe it might be more of the background its set against that makes people define themselves as feedees? if you say feedee it implies its related more to a sexual scene than to a relationship. its just something that gets people off. but people might like indulging in things together and don't define it as a kink or a fetish--just something they lovingly like to do thats sexy and both people enjoy?


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## chicken legs (Jan 25, 2010)

Feederism is like a gun...it depends upon the personality of the person. A dominate person is way different than a submissive person.


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## superodalisque (Jan 25, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> Feederism is like a gun...it depends upon the personality of the person. A dominate person is way different than a submissive person.



does feederism necessarily depend on dominant submissive interplay? does it have to function only as a fetish behavior? maybe thats why some people who might actually be feedees won't define themselves as such? maybe they don't like the connotaton of being just a part of a sex scene rather than a relationship? maybe its like the difference between someone feeding them a piece of cherry pie slowly and sensually spoonful by spoonful and making love to them after and someone who tries to feed them as much pie as they can possibly hold and weighing and measuring after? are both people feedees?


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 25, 2010)

> does feederism necessarily depend on dominant submissive interplay?



Most of the time.



> does it have to function only as a fetish behavior?



Yes, it's a fetish. Don't confuse it with feeding somebody a strawberry.


> maybe thats why some people who might actually be feedees won't define themselves as such? maybe they don't like the connotaton of being just a part of a sex scene rather than a relationship?



It is a sexual encounter, and it may happen with or without a relationship. Like many kinks, it can be practiced within a relationship or as an isolated encounter or series of encounters with a likeminded partner. Some people practice BDSM with a life partner and some go to dungeons or clubs for anonymous hookups. If somebody self ascribes as "gay" it means they're sexually aroused by somebody of the same gender, and they're gay no matter if they're with a same sex life partner or jerking off to gay porn. People who are feeders or feedees understand the difference, they really do.




> maybe its like the difference between someone feeding them a piece of cherry pie slowly and sensually spoonful by spoonful and making love to them after and someone who tries to feed them as much pie as they can possibly hold and weighing and measuring after? are both people feedees?



No. I don't know why people can't grasp that feederism is a very very specific kink and it doesn't have anything to do with feeding somebody cherry pie slowly. Why do you feel a constant need to redefine this as something it's not? If you like being fed cherry pie because it tastes good or for some other reason, have at it, but it's not feederism just because food is involved. It seems many women would like to cast feederism or erotic weight gain as something other than getting off on feeding or gaining.


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## chicken legs (Jan 25, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> does feederism necessarily depend on dominant submissive interplay? does it have to function only as a fetish behavior? maybe thats why some people who might actually be feedees won't define themselves as such? maybe they don't like the connotaton of being just a part of a sex scene rather than a relationship? maybe its like the difference between someone feeding them a piece of cherry pie slowly and sensually spoonful by spoonful and making love to them after and someone who tries to feed them as much pie as they can possibly hold and weighing and measuring after? are both people feedees?



Any and all relationships depend on dominant submissive interplay including feederism.

Amongst FA/FFA...I can't speak for all of us...but yes. (unless your nursing someone back to health or something...but then again..I can't speak for everyone)

Once again its all about perception. Example is ..I didn't know I was considered a FA because I like fat until I became aware of this community. Likewise, a the eating habits of most people who derive pleasure from food are feedee...at least to me. Outside the community they could be called a Foodie or Gourmets.

Yeah, it really depends on the person.

That really depends on what both parties want.

Yes both examples are in the realm of feederism


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## superodalisque (Jan 25, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> Any and all relationships depend on dominant submissive interplay including feederism.
> 
> Amongst FA/FFA...I can't speak for all of us...but yes. (unless your nursing someone back to health or something...but then again..I can't speak for everyone)
> 
> ...



what kind of pleasure from food are you talking about? i'm not sure thats clear to me. are you saying anybody who just likes food or...?

i disagree about the dominant submissive thing. i think it might be an over simplification that its a part of all relationships. i think there is a real difference between give and take and the dominant submissive relationship. i always thought dominant and submissives have unquestionable roles they set up where as in an other reationships its a more fluid situation where one person has more power than the other at some times and the other at another times depending on the individual needs and the situtaion. sure power always figures into human relationships to some extent but nothing like the dominant submissive level.


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## chicken legs (Jan 25, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> what kind of pleasure from food are you talking about? i'm not sure thats clear to me. are you saying anybody who just likes food or...?
> 
> i disagree about the dominant submissive thing. i think it might be an over simplification that its a part of all relationships. i think there is a real difference between give and take and the dominant submissive relationship. i always thought dominant and submissives have unquestionable roles they set up where as in an other reationships its a more fluid situation where one person has more power than the other at some times and the other at another times depending on the individual needs and the situtaion. sure power always figures into human relationships to some extent but nothing like the dominant submissive level.



I never thought about doms and subs until I became aware of the BDSM culture. So now, I label certain behaviours as either dom, sub, or switch. Likewise, now that I am aware of the FA community, I label people as either feeder, feedee, or both (switch).

For the most part, to me food means fuel, because I have gym culture deeply rooted in my mind and insensitive taste buds. However, because of being aware of the Fa community, I realize that when someone hits a blissfull state from eating I realize they are a feedee and since I derive pleasure from watching people eat..I am a feeder.


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## superodalisque (Jan 25, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> I never thought about doms and subs until I became aware of the BDSM culture. So now, I label certain behaviours as either dom, sub, or switch. Likewise, now that I am aware of the FA community, I label people as either feeder, feedee, or both (switch).
> 
> For the most part, to me food means fuel, because I have gym culture deeply rooted in my mind and insensitive taste buds. However, because of being aware of the Fa community, I realize that when someone hits a blissfull state from eating I realize they are a feedee and since I derive pleasure from watching people eat..I am a feeder.



i think you might be a lil biased by your tastebuds. i love the pleasure of food but i'm not a feedee at all. also a lot of my friends who are small and eat very little adore food and get a lot of pleasure when they chose to. but they aren't feedee either. it might be that if your had a higher sense of taste you would possibly have a different opinion.

dividing all situations into sub/dom could be problematic since not all really are. that might be a little limiting and misleading--as though nothing has a grey area. but i respect that is the way you partician things off. it just seems a little unrealistic and artificial--respectfully


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## chicken legs (Jan 25, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> i think you might be a lil biased by your tastebuds. i love the pleasure of food but i'm not a feedee at all. also a lot of my friends who are small and eat very little adore food and get a lot of pleasure when they chose to. but they aren't feedee either. it might be that if your had a higher sense of taste you would possibly have a different opinion.
> 
> dividing all situations into sub/dom could be problematic since not all really are. that might be a little limiting and misleading--as though nothing has a grey area. but i respect that is the way you partician things off. it just seems a little unrealistic and artificial--respectfully



Not all feedee's are fat and not all feeders are skinny dudes. Like I said before its just a label within a community..this community.

The only people who use the labels dom and sub are those who are aware of the BDSM community and apply it elsewhere. As far as I know..switch applies to the grey areas. I am not sure what seems unrealistic and artificial to you?


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## exile in thighville (Jan 26, 2010)

i think the dims community has been pretty successful in making me never ever want to discuss feederism ever again


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## chicken legs (Jan 26, 2010)

OMG...hahahah

I just noticed we have a Foodee board:doh:


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## stillblessed23 (Jan 26, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> I guess it depends on what his definition of "true feedee" is. I consider myself a true feedee. I find eating and weight gain arousing and in a perfect world I'd gain weight. Unfortunately though, our world isn't perfect and weight gain has a limit and comes with consequences. I've had men tell me that I'm not a true feedee because I'm not currently actively gaining. Guess what I say? Fuck them. When they understand, FIRST HAND, what it is like to be fat, especially over 300 pounds, in our society and the effect that weight gain can have on someone, physically, mentally, emotionally, socially.. then they can talk. I don't tolerate men trying to tell me what to do with my body. If they try to convince me to gain weight, or tell me that it isn't that big of a deal or that "a little more wouldn't hurt" the conversation stops. Those are the people that tell me I'm not a true feedee, that I'm making it up or doing it for attention without any follow through. I honestly do not give a fuck because gaining hundreds of pounds for faceless men on the internet is so ridiculous that I refuse to even entertain the idea anymore.



OMG!!! This post is so true and everything that I feel, and since I haven't posted in forever I thought I would throw in my 2 cents. I am a feedee, in the sense that I am turned on by gaining weight. I am also an FA and very turned on by my own fat lol. I always have been and I always will be. I weigh 330 lbs. If it was a perfect world I would weigh more, but the realms of reality will always put a limit on the amount of weight I will let myself carry. I am an aspiring teacher, I am a bartender, I have goals and responsiblities that require me to fit places, and to be quick and active. I love my size and my body, but I don't want to be limited on my dreams because of it. If I only cared about weight and sex I would be 500+ but essentially sex and sexual fantasies are only a small portion of a person's life. I could care less what people think about me on the internet. All that matters is that I am happy with myself.


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## superodalisque (Jan 26, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> Not all feedee's are fat and not all feeders are skinny dudes. Like I said before its just a label within a community..this community.
> 
> The only people who use the labels dom and sub are those who are aware of the BDSM community and apply it elsewhere. As far as I know..switch applies to the grey areas. I am not sure what seems unrealistic and artificial to you?



sorry i misread you. i was thinking of switch as in on off or 1s and 0s thx for clearing that up.


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## mergirl (Jan 26, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> What amazes me even more is the insistence by some people to actually loosen the restrictions on what people can say because somebody, somewhere might have had bad experiences with feeders and thus needs to offer unwanted commentary. To me that is 100% the same as allowing somebody who's straight but had at some point been harassed by somebody of the same gender to patrol the LGBT board and insist that gays actually are predatory and likely to harass straight people.



Loves. I'm sure its not 100% the same. If it was it would quite literally be the same thing..which its not. I'm not sure your analogy works but i agree that hetrosexual people who have been harrassed by the same gender shouldn't then then think gay people are predatory. I'm not sure how this would ever happen though.


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## mergirl (Jan 26, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> -well what he was getting at was that he personally thought that a lot of feedees he had known were:
> 
> -vulnerable women who would do whatever a feeder wanted to keep male attention and would adopt the mantra or dogma for a while for a particular person
> 
> ...



If this is true in any case then you have to consider if any relationship with a feeder could truly be consensual. (Just talking about the 'feedees' your friend describes above). In the above examples, the 'feedee' is not showing 'informed consent'. Though, it might be difficult for the feeder to gauge, in these instances when consent was informed and when it was not. Its 100% like getting someone with dementia to sign over their inheritance to you!!!


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 26, 2010)

mergirl said:


> Loves. I'm sure its not 100% the same. If it was it would quite literally be the same thing..which its not. I'm not sure your analogy works but i agree that hetrosexual people who have been harrassed by the same gender shouldn't then then think gay people are predatory. I'm not sure how this would ever happen though.



The point is that if at some time you'd been harassed by somebody of your gender, you can't translate that into "all gays harass straights rather than looking for other gay partners." It's the same thing as painting all feeders with the same broad brush as the unethical or dishonest feeder who harassed or manipulated them.

The truth is, I personally did get harassed by a female teacher at summer school when I was young. As bad of an experience it was and as unethical as it was for her to hit on a student, it's not reasonable for me to think i have the right to believe that all gays act that way. Yet we have people on this board who think it's fine to treat anyone into this fetish as evil, dishonest, and manipulative.


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## superodalisque (Jan 26, 2010)

mergirl said:


> If this is true in any case then you have to consider if any relationship with a feeder could truly be consensual. (Just talking about the 'feedees' your friend describes above). In the above examples, the 'feedee' is not showing 'informed consent'. Though, it might be difficult for the feeder to gauge, in these instances when consent was informed and when it was not. Its 100% like getting someone with dementia to sign over their inheritance to you!!!



yeah. thats why i don't think its always quite fair when things are like the situations that are as stated above if things turn out badly and the feeder gets blamed. unless he/she is a psychologist how would they know? i'm sure there are a few more experienced people who do know better and take advantage of potential feedees but i bet for the most part a lot of folks couldn't be sure that was what was really going on if thier partner wasn't telling them the truth--especially if it were a feedee who wasn't sure what the truth was for themselves yet anyway.


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## mergirl (Jan 26, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> The point is that if at some time you'd been harassed by somebody of your gender, you can't translate that into "all gays harass straights rather than looking for other gay partners." It's the same thing as painting all feeders with the same broad brush as the unethical or dishonest feeder who harassed or manipulated them.
> 
> The truth is, I personally did get harassed by a female teacher at summer school when I was young. As bad of an experience it was and as unethical as it was for her to hit on a student, it's not reasonable for me to think i have the right to believe that all gays act that way. Yet we have people on this board who think it's fine to treat anyone into this fetish as evil, dishonest, and manipulative.




We have a lot of good queer roll models here i guess. I wonder about these people who have had bad experiences with feeders and painting the rest with the same brush. I get the impression that many people here had not even heard of the term until they came to dimensions. Perhaps this is the problem, perhaps if there was a feeder/feedee version of will and grace there might eventually be more acceptance in the community at large. As it is, the people here only have the feeders here to gather an impression of feeders in general. Hmmm.. You could call the show 'Fill her face'!


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## superodalisque (Jan 26, 2010)

mergirl said:


> We have a lot of good queer roll models here i guess. I wonder about these people who have had bad experiences with feeders and painting the rest with the same brush. I get the impression that many people here had not even heard of the term until they came to dimensions. Perhaps this is the problem, perhaps if there eas a feeder/feedee version of will and grace there might eventually be more acceptance in the community at large. As it is, the people here only have the feeders here to gather an impression of feeders in general. Hmmm.. You could call the show 'Fill her face'! lmao.



i think you're right about that. there should be more people talking about what an ideal situation like this looks like. all we seemed to get is the messed up stuff. i'm not even sure i've ever seen on dims a description of how an ideal feeder/feedee coupling is supposed to look. has there been some? 

i personally feel that a lot of people who've had bad experiences here don't always tell the whole story. they don't talk about the fact that maybe they always knew they weren't a feedee and really didn't want to gain but didn't want to tell thier partner the truth for whatever reason. i know some people who i love and respect who do blame feeders for their weight but i really think that it was basically thier decision but they aren't ready to accept thier part in it just yet. they often didn't even like being fat in the first place. maybe they weren't ready to face the underlying problems that led to them pretending that they were born with a drive they didn't have. or maybe it wasn't a drive to be a feedee but instead it was an addiction which is very different. maybe it was just easier to find a feeder to blame than to say "i was the one with the problem and i went out and found someone who'd go along with it and maybe take the blame for a bad outcome as well". it seems to me people who are really feedees seem to be able to manage thier weight and are always conscious of how far they want to go with thier fantasies. they don't seem to be out of control of them. is that true or am i reading something into it thats not there? so maybe people who do get out of control in that situation have something else that might be driving them that has nothing to do with being a feedee?

i know when i've been faced with a choice and i've been asked to be a feedee i've always had the choice to say no. even if someone is manipulative etc... it is a shame that a bad pall gets put over all feedees/feeders just because someone who wasn't actually one at heart is probably using a situation as an alternative cover to thier own personal responsibility in the situation. so if you want to have that view then a feeder will always be a villian and a feedee a victim. but the question people should be asking who are against it is " how can we help people who are pretending to have drives that they don't have to have the self love and strength not to engage in something not ingrained in them?"


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## mergirl (Jan 26, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> " how can we help people who are pretending to have drives that they don't have to have the self love and strength not to engage in something not ingrained in them?"



Actually, you find that a lot of gay people sleep with people of the other gender for reasons ranging from 'because they want to feel accepted and loved' to 'because they have low self esteme and want it boosted' to 'using it as a form of self harm'. In each case it would be difficult to help these people as is the case for so many people of all different comunities, you sometimes have to learn from your own mistakes and sometimes these mistakes are the only things which could ever aid growth. (Not physical in this case). You can't stop someone who is gay sleeping with someone of the opposite sex and you certainly can't blame those they are sleeping with of them doing something which is not ingrained. Though, i think to take advantage of someone you knew had psychological problems would be pretty low. I wonder though, how many people would be able to resist something which seems to be so rare when it comes along.


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## superodalisque (Jan 26, 2010)

mergirl said:


> Actually, you find that a lot of gay people sleep with people of the other gender for reasons ranging from 'because they want to feel accepted and loved' to 'because they have low self esteme and want it boosted' to 'using it as a form of self harm'. In each case it would be difficult to help these people as is the case for so many people of all different comunities, you sometimes have to learn from your own mistakes and sometimes these mistakes are the only things which could ever aid growth. (Not physical in this case). You can't stop someone who is gay sleeping with someone of the opposite sex and you certainly can't blame those they are sleeping with of them doing something which is not ingrained. Though, i think to take advantage of someone you knew had psychological problems would be pretty low. I wonder though, how many people would be able to resist something which seems to be so rare when it comes along.



yes, it would be really tough when you consider all the situatons that could be driving people. it would take a lot of thinking and self analysis but there isn't a lot of that going on in any community these days. just a lot of people acting out different drives blindly sometimes. i guess its just the human condition.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 27, 2010)

> I wonder about these people who have had bad experiences with feeders and painting the rest with the same brush.



Possibly, but would my one bad experience being harassed by another female reasonably translate into thinking that all gays are predatory? Or should I rightfully assume that _most_ gays stick to looking for other gay people and leave straight people alone?

Also I'd say 90%+ of the negativity on here just comes from people with nothing better to do being obnoxious, rather than their being negative because they had a bad experience.


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## mergirl (Jan 27, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Possibly, but would my one bad experience being harassed by another female reasonably translate into thinking that all gays are predatory? Or should I rightfully assume that _most_ gays stick to looking for other gay people and leave straight people alone?
> 
> Also I'd say 90%+ of the negativity on here just comes from people with nothing better to do being obnoxious, rather than their being negative because they had a bad experience.


Hmm, i would disagree with the 90%+ of negativity coming from people with nothing better to do than be obnoxious, as if this were the case the negativity would not be focused. I think a lot of the negativity comes from fantasy and reality clashing.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 27, 2010)

mergirl said:


> Hmm, i would disagree with the 90%+ of negativity coming from people with nothing better to do than be obnoxious, as if this were the case the negativity would not be focused. I think a lot of the negativity comes from fantasy and reality clashing.



I have seen, to the best of my recollection, exactly one post where somebody even touches on having had a bad experience and having a partner she considers an encourager while she experiences some medical issues. The rest are just along the lines of either personal insults, mocking, or people looking for something to get offended by. The WB has always been here in some incarnation. Everyone knows what it is and what is posted on it. To come looking for things to get angry about doesn't make sense.


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## superodalisque (Jan 27, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Possibly, but would my one bad experience being harassed by another female reasonably translate into thinking that all gays are predatory? Or should I rightfully assume that _most_ gays stick to looking for other gay people and leave straight people alone?
> 
> Also I'd say 90%+ of the negativity on here just comes from people with nothing better to do being obnoxious, rather than their being negative because they had a bad experience.



i don't quite think its that. i think a lot of people here feel seriously hurt by certain situations. i think a lot of people here may not have had hardly any experiences before IRL. some of them even take what happens in dims as a "relationship" of some kind when its really only someone bored on the other side of the comp entertaining themselves. so some people here tend to think they've had experiences they've never really had since this stuff isn't real. in my opinion nothing is real until you look the person in the eye. but some people take statements made to them on dims as though they are somehow real. awkward stabs taken by people trying to cyber live out their fantasies seem real to them. i agree that its unfair to broad brush people because of those experiences. but if thats basically pretty much the only kinds of human sexual experiences you have on a regular basis then they are bound to take on a lot more importance than they deserve to be given. i'm not sure its fair to say that people just want to antagonize others. sometimes they have reasons they feel are real behind what they say and do. they may not be realistic reasons but they are reasons. thats why i'm so adamant about debunking the idea that there is no one for BBWS/BHMs except on a place like dims. it can be unhealthy to believe that. it can isolate people from the real world and warp thier sense of things. so feeders/feedees suffer from that particular reality. people who promote that position ,of being the single source, are only creating more myopic people instead of just trying to keep large numbers or variety here to talk to like they intend. i think if more people who post on dims were actually out and taking part in the world more than they are they wouldn't have nearly as much animous as they do about someone else's sexuality or at being approached occassionally. but then that would mean there would be fewer people here to be admired. so the hostility is the predictable negative overflow from being disappointed in something thats supposed to be "THE" source of your admiration that might not be fulfiling for everyone who comes here.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 27, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> i don't quite think its that. i think a lot of people here feel seriously hurt by certain situations. i think a lot of people here may not have had hardly any experiences before IRL. some of them even take what happens in dims as a "relationship" of some kind when its really only someone bored on the other side of the comp entertaining themselves. so some people here tend to think they've had experiences they've never really had since this stuff isn't real. in my opinion nothing is real until you look the person in the eye. but some people take statements made to them on dims as though they are somehow real. awkward stabs taken by people trying to cyber live out their fantasies seem real to them. i agree that its unfair to broad brush people because of those experiences. but if thats basically pretty much the only kinds of human sexual experiences you have on a regular basis then they are bound to take on a lot more importance than they deserve to be given. i'm not sure its fair to say that people just want to antagonize others. sometimes they have reasons they feel are real behind what they say and do. they may not be realistic reasons but they are reasons. thats why i'm so adamant about debunking the idea that there is no one for BBWS/BHMs except on a place like dims. it can be unhealthy to believe that. it can isolate people from the real world and warp thier sense of things. so feeders/feedees suffer from that particular reality. people who promote that position ,of being the single source, are only creating more myopic people instead of just trying to keep large numbers or variety here to talk to like they intend. i think if more people who post on dims were actually out and taking part in the world more than they are they wouldn't have nearly as much animous as they do about someone else's sexuality or at being approached occassionally. but then that would mean there would be fewer people here to be admired. so the hostility is the predictable negative overflow from being disappointed in something thats supposed to be "THE" source of your admiration that might not be fulfiling for everyone who comes here.



I have yet to see one real, true account of a negative experience with feederism. I've seen a ton of posts by people who know it happens or know women it's happened to but nobody actually saying they were manipulated into gaining weight and experienced problems from it. I even suggested somebody start that thread but no takers.

There are like 5-10 hardcore posters who either come here and troll or who talk about this board and its contents in a negative light. Now the mere fact of it existing is fodder for the "Dims has changed and is only a fetish site" cry nonwithstanding that the board has always been here.


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## superodalisque (Jan 27, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> I have yet to see one real, true account of a negative experience with feederism. I've seen a ton of posts by people who know it happens or know women it's happened to but nobody actually saying they were manipulated into gaining weight and experienced problems from it. I even suggested somebody start that thread but no takers.
> 
> There are like 5-10 hardcore posters who either come here and troll or who talk about this board and its contents in a negative light. Now the mere fact of it existing is fodder for the "Dims has changed and is only a fetish site" cry nonwithstanding that the board has always been here.



i understand why you'd have that view but you have to remember that sometimes people are embarrassed by what they think was a personal failing --just having chosn the wrong person and they don't want it on the boards for perpetuity. people want to forget. but if you carefully read the forums there are people who do talk about things that have happened to them personally. you'd find out a lot more if you had a chance to meet people in person. also people used to talk about things in open chat a lot. probably because they could decide to talk or not to talk depending on who was there and they wouldn't have everyone reading it. dims can be a very harsh place. you know for yourself how judgemental people can be. i personally don't think dims is only a fetish site in fact i think its less of one than it used to be. but so what if it was. it doesn't make it a den of evil


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## chicken legs (Jan 27, 2010)

SuperO you confuse me. You were a feedee and had a bad experience? The stories on Dims are to harsh and you're wondering if its done in reality? You want to try feedersim but not sure?


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## superodalisque (Jan 27, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> SuperO you confuse me. You were a feedee and had a bad experience? The stories on Dims are to harsh and you're wondering if its done in reality? You want to try feedersim but not sure?



i'm just asking questions and trying to understand. i'm not looking for any personal sexual gratificiaton on dims


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## chicken legs (Jan 27, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> i'm just asking questions and trying to understand. i'm not looking for any personal sexual gratificiaton on dims



LOL...yeah right....

You're writing a How to book called "Feederism for dummies". I can just feel it. I want a cut. Saaaaayyy......5%? I'm not greedy.

No really, 

I don't chat much outside the open forum and I don't have time to look at old posts to figure out the drama that you guys seem to be hinting at. So the questions you're asking kinda confuse me. You mentioned that you and others have dabbled in it but had bad experiences, there is this role-playing vs. real life thing that seems to be confusing folks, and the misunderstanding between hardcore and softcore fantansies...just to name a few. What are you trying to understand?


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## superodalisque (Jan 27, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> LOL...yeah right....
> 
> You're writing a How to book called "Feederism for dummies". I can just feel it. I want a cut. Saaaaayyy......5%? I'm not greedy.
> 
> ...



nope i haven't dabbled in it. but i've been pressured by people who would have liked me to dabble in it. its not my thing. 

well i'm just trying to understand what it is or is not. i hear different descriptions from people. so if i have a question i ask it. is there a problem with that or is it better to go on with misconceptions? i mean people are constantly saying that people outside of it don't get it. the only way to get it is to ask. i think its all of the misconceptions that cause a lot of the tension.


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## chicken legs (Jan 27, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> nope i haven't dabbled in it. but i've been pressured by people who would have liked me to dabble in it. its not my thing.
> 
> well i'm just trying to understand what it is or is not. i hear different descriptions from people. so if i have a question i ask it. is there a problem with that or is it better to go on with misconceptions? i mean people are constantly saying that people outside of it don't get it. the only way to get it is to ask. i think its all of the misconceptions that cause a lot of the ?tension.




I am a FFA who has been on both sides of the feedersim fence and I am trying to answer your questions, but you got help me out here by answering some of mine. If its not your thing...why worry about? Are you afraid of a sneak attack of a feeder?

I feel like doing a Jeff Foxworthy version of Feederism...


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## superodalisque (Jan 27, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> I am a FFA who has been on both sides of the feedersim fence and I am trying to answer your questions, but you got help me out here by answering some of mine. If its not your thing...why worry about? Are you afraid of a sneak attack of a feeder?
> 
> I feel like doing a Jeff Foxworthy version of Feederism...



relax. i have no ulterior motives. i'm not trying to use anybody or write a book. i have friends on all sides of the fences. i repeated what one said to get other takes on it but thats further back in the thread. the other questions and thoughts were just outward growths of that. i'm not worried or afraid. i just live in a world and i like looking around at it and understanding it. its just how my mind works. don't let it make you get paranoid. i'm not here to do anything to you.


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## chicken legs (Jan 27, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> relax. i have no ulterior motives. i'm not trying to use anybody or write a book. i have friends on all sides of the fences. i repeated what one said to get other takes on it but thats further back in the thread. the other questions and thoughts were just outward growths of that. i'm not worried or afraid. i just live in a world and i like looking around at it and understanding it. its just how my mind works. don't let it make you get paranoid. i'm not here to do anything to you.



huh?

Dude parts of my post were in jest..What can I say not everyone gets my yokes.

The only serious part was trying to answer your questions..but since you dont want to answer mine so I can understand what your confused about and it seems your getting a little ...defensive... so be it.

I feel dejected now since you only want to talk to LoveBhms and Mergirl...**so jealous** (joking...again..jeez)


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## superodalisque (Jan 27, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> huh?
> 
> Dude parts of my post were in jest..What can I say not everyone gets my yokes.
> 
> ...



sorry i didn't get your jokes. i don't know you very well so its hard to guess how your thinking exactly. i asked a gazillion questions earlier. maybe you want to try your hand at some of those. i really can't congeal it down to one thing. i'd be really glad for opinions though.


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## chicken legs (Jan 27, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> sorry i didn't get your jokes. i don't know you very well so its hard to guess how your thinking exactly. i asked a gazillion questions earlier. maybe you want to try your hand at some of those. i really can't congeal it down to one thing. i'd be really glad for opinions though.



I have answered your some of your questions ...but nevermind


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## Weeze (Jan 27, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> Or, ADF on FB  haha.



HOLLER.

Facebookers interested in Feederism, PM me bitchesssssss.

(No Dims bad-talk. That's always a rule when i start anything.)


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 28, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> sorry i didn't get your jokes. i don't know you very well so its hard to guess how your thinking exactly. i asked a gazillion questions earlier. maybe you want to try your hand at some of those. i really can't congeal it down to one thing. i'd be really glad for opinions though.



that's the thing. At some point, it's enough questions. You've posted pages and pages and pages of questions in this quest to understand feederism. You've been told time and again what it is and what it's not and you keep responding with lengthy streams of consciousness trying to _really_ understand it when it's already been explained. to sum it up:

1. Those into feederism are sexually aroused by weight gain, weight gain in a partner, or fantasies of those things happening. They may be aroused by tertiary behaviour such as stuffing where the arousal comes from the feeling of eating a large amount of food, or body inflation in which the whole body or one body part expands beyond what is possible IRL and this is a fantasy only fetish. Those who are aroused by this may have strong memories of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory's scene where the Violet character's body blows up in a minute or so but obviously such a thing is not possible IRL.

2. Introducing food into a sexual encounter is not feederism. Liking to eat does not make you a feedee. hand feeding your partner a ripe peach is not being a feeder.

3. Like with anything that brings sexual gratification, some will use dishonesty or manipulation to achieve it. This is wrong. 

The End.


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## superodalisque (Jan 28, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> that's the thing. At some point, it's enough questions. You've posted pages and pages and pages of questions in this quest to understand feederism. You've been told time and again what it is and what it's not and you keep responding with lengthy streams of consciousness trying to _really_ understand it when it's already been explained. to sum it up:
> 
> 1. Those into feederism are sexually aroused by weight gain, weight gain in a partner, or fantasies of those things happening. They may be aroused by tertiary behaviour such as stuffing where the arousal comes from the feeling of eating a large amount of food, or body inflation in which the whole body or one body part expands beyond what is possible IRL and this is a fantasy only fetish. Those who are aroused by this may have strong memories of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory's scene where the Violet character's body blows up in a minute or so but obviously such a thing is not possible IRL.
> 
> ...



k. i guess me and all of my questions and musings no matter how polite have been unofficially kicked out of this thread. i thought questions sharing etc... were what forums were for but i guess i was wrong? what are they for anyway? impatience?


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## mergirl (Jan 28, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> I have seen, to the best of my recollection, exactly one post where somebody even touches on having had a bad experience and having a partner she considers an encourager while she experiences some medical issues. The rest are just along the lines of either personal insults, mocking, or people looking for something to get offended by. The WB has always been here in some incarnation. Everyone knows what it is and what is posted on it. To come looking for things to get angry about doesn't make sense.


This isn't what we are talking about here though. I see no nay sayers here!! This is just a discussion about feedees. No one has said there is anything wrong with anything. I think maby you are just wired up to defensive now!


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 28, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> k. i guess me and all of my questions and musings no matter how polite have been unofficially kicked out of this thread. i thought questions sharing etc... were what forums were for but i guess i was wrong? what are they for anyway? impatience?



Nobody is kicking you out of a thread. It's mergirls thread anyway not mine. But all your questions have been answered over and over and over again. There are pages and pages of comments and explanations about feederism here and on other sites. You've asked questions, they've been answerd, you've asked more questions. You've been at this for an amazingly long time. I can't fathom what else it is you think you're going to learn. Feederism has been explained ad nauseum. Gainers and posters who self ascribe as single feedees have talked about their actions. There have been innumerable questions and answers. At some point it just has to be enough. Additionally, the trolls on this board have scared off a lot of people who are into this but can't or wont' talk about if for fear of being made fun of or criticized.

Personally I'm just tired of answering questions about it. Maybe if the atmosphere here were less hostile and less tolerant of people coming here to mock and ridicule and criticize, others would feel comfortable discussing it.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 28, 2010)

mergirl said:


> This isn't what we are talking about here though. I see no nay sayers here!! This is just a discussion about feedees. No one has said there is anything wrong with anything. I think maby you are just wired up to defensive now!



That was my point, there are no naysayers. according to supero they exist but aren't talking. according to several accounts there are many fat women who've had negative experiences with feeders which is why they need access to this thread to harass everyone. I'm with Exile on this, I don't want to discuss feederims any more. After a certain point it is just too much.


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## mergirl (Jan 28, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Nobody is kicking you out of a thread. It's mergirls thread anyway not mine. But all your questions have been answered over and over and over again. There are pages and pages of comments and explanations about feederism here and on other sites. You've asked questions, they've been answerd, you've asked more questions. You've been at this for an amazingly long time. I can't fathom what else it is you think you're going to learn. Feederism has been explained ad nauseum. Gainers and posters who self ascribe as single feedees have talked about their actions. There have been innumerable questions and answers. At some point it just has to be enough. Additionally, the trolls on this board have scared off a lot of people who are into this but can't or wont' talk about if for fear of being made fun of or criticized.
> 
> Personally I'm just tired of answering questions about it. Maybe if the atmosphere here were less hostile and less tolerant of people coming here to mock and ridicule and criticize, others would feel comfortable discussing it.


If a thread makes you angry you dont need to post in it. Or you could start a post about how you are pissed off that feeders have to keep explaining feederism. (which you dont btw.. you just have to do it).
I think super-o made some interesting points. Its not your job to banish myths, so don't worry. I think the question of 'informed consent' regarding feedism is a pertinant one, as many feedees may feel exploited after the fact while feeders will be none the wiser about it, which i am guessing may cause a bit of friction. 
This thread was not about asking anyone to explain anything about their preference. It was meerly a discussion about feedees.


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## mergirl (Jan 28, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> I'm with Exile on this, I don't want to discuss feederims any more. After a certain point it is just too much.


You don't have to. If you didn't discuss feederism in any capacity here, i'm interested as to what you would discuss?? Would you be satisfied with your dimensions experience if you never discussed your fetish?


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 28, 2010)

mergirl said:


> You don't have to. If you didn't discuss feederism in any capacity here, i'm interested as to what you would discuss?? Would you be satisfied with your dimensions experience if you never discussed your fetish?



Like I said, I'm done discussing it here and done discussing it with people who don't do it. It's not your thing? Fine. But don't you think at some point it's enough with the incesant, unending questions and hypothesis from people who aren't into it about what it really is? What is is has been explained already. Discussing it with others who are into it is different from incessantly dealing with people who seem to have an overiding fascination with it. I'd rather discuss it with people who understand it.

And saying it's just a discussion about feedees is disingenuous. The title asks if there are non-paysite feedees, which seems to be an invitation to discuss it or for the feedees without paysites want to reveal themselves.


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## mergirl (Jan 28, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Like I said, I'm done discussing it here and done discussing it with people who don't do it. It's not your thing? Fine. But don't you think at some point it's enough with the incesant, unending questions and hypothesis from people who aren't into it about what it really is? What is is has been explained already. Discussing it with others who are into it is different from incessantly dealing with people who seem to have an overiding fascination with it. I'd rather discuss it with people who understand it.
> 
> And saying it's just a discussion about feedees is disingenuous. The title asks if there are non-paysite feedees, which seems to be an invitation to discuss it or for the feedees without paysites want to reveal themselves.


Then you should only discuss it with those who understand it. I don't get your need to be involved in every discussion about feederism by non feeders if you are tired of it. it doesn't make sense. Just don't enter into the discussion. Nobody is forcing you to wearily answer questions and be the figurehead for feedism. You are free Loves...fly fly!!


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## Jes (Jan 28, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> dominant





Thank You!


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## chicken legs (Jan 28, 2010)

Is is this a two sided convo or a interrogation? When I asked some questions folks got defensive. To me thats not fair and it gets old. It was starting to feel like a polite chick fight instead of a discussion. Anywho....


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## superodalisque (Jan 28, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> Is is this a two sided convo or a interrogation? When I asked some questions folks got defensive. To me thats not fair and it gets old. It was starting to feel like a polite chick fight instead of a discussion. Anywho....



actually the truth is that i was trying to be helpful by laying out some things that i hoped people would be happy to have the opportunity to dispel. if you had read the posts you would see how they are very feeder/feedee sympathetic. what i was basically saying is that its not feeders or feedees who are gobbing up the works but confused people who don't truly have the drive that are at the root of many of the issues. but i think its hard to see that if your looking through a defensive eye though. i understand why people involved might get defensive but this knee jerk reaction without actually reading posts doesn't do people any favors. it just makes people look like they don't want to discuss issues they might be afraid of even when thats not true. 

besides that i thought this was about feedees and not about defining what feedism is anyway? i've actually seen very little about that. i was looking forward to hearing what they think since i usually hear a very one sided view. i wasn't aware there was a limit on how many questions i could ask to understand. and none of my questions were personal attacks unlike what came toward me. i don't think taking that kind of approach helps anybody since it seems to me a lot of people are willing to talk about things and are actually happy when people open the door for them to do so. 

thanks to the people who answered my questions in good faith in PM. i really appreciate it.


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## Jack Secret (Feb 28, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> -well what he was getting at was that he personally thought that a lot of feedees he had known were:
> 
> -vulnerable women who would do whatever a feeder wanted to keep male attention and would adopt the mantra or dogma for a while for a particular person
> 
> ...



you have an uncanny ability to articulate what I was thinking. Specifically the five reasons listed above.

But to answer the title from the original poster; somewhere out there exists a real woman who really enjoys gaining weight from the fork of another. I am sure this has been true for God knows how long. Of course now we have the Internet where this can be shared with interested and like-minded people... And I am willing to bet she is active on these boards, but probably doesn't feel the need to share it on a website (though they may discuss it occasionally in here). Modesty still exists... Even for beautiful fat women!

I tend to think of it like this: somewhere in the Midwest there is a small figured woman with the hottest tits west of the Mississippi. She knows she has a hot rack. Her friends may complement her occasionally, but beyond that her boobs are her business. She knows men stare at her because of her boobs. She may even be proud of that, but she's not going to open a website for everyone to see naked. That doesn't make her a prude. She can still be modest and hot at the same time.

I get the feeling we're way off track on this posting. It is past my bedtime and I should know better.

--c


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## Seraphina (Feb 28, 2010)

I think it just depends what you truly mean by feedee because there seems to be a definite divide in what men, in particular, think a feedee is. 

I class myself as a feedee, I get sexual gratification from being fed and gaining weight and the fantasy of such, however I am only "just" overweight and a UK size 16, my doctor does not think I have a need to diet and I am perfectly healthy. My weight has fluctuated and does fluctuate by around 45lbs. However despite fantastising about immobility and being fed to such a state in would never make that a reality in my life because my whole life is not about sex and my whole sex life is not about weight and food. I distinguish very much between fantasy and reality and the reality is that I could not function in the life I have if I were to be very obese. To me being a feedee is a state of mind and not necessarily a state of size.

However I don't believe that how I feel grants me status of a feedee in the eyes of the "feeders" here because if I were single, which I am not, and I were looking for a feeder I would not be able to fulfill the fantasy role that they wished me to. I am not in a place where I want to be fed at the expense of the rest of my existence and that seems to be the line which many draw. If you aren't willing to sacrifice everything for the pursuit of fat and getting fatter than you are not a feedee.

But, I think there is a distinct misunderstanding that all feeders are dominant bastards who would stuff a women against her will. I don't think that is true but I think the internet is a very good place for people's imaginations to run wild and for them to express their fantasies in a very real way. I think there are some, mostly men, who would feed their partner to immobility but I think that in itself has very little to do with feedism and much more to do with dominance and control (and not in a sexual way but in a destructive power way). I think those who are true feeders do actually see the difference between the fantasy and the reality and would not and could not literally feed their partner to death, since love - proper love - would stop you harming your partner well before that point. In so much as to say I think most of the "real" feeders have been pushed underground by the misunderstanding that they are controlling, evil people and I don't think they are but they have been confused with men who truly are as such and not because of a sexual fantasy!

But back to the topic: I guess the reason that so many feedees are paysite models because SSBBW is not a cheap lifestyle and it has to be funded in some way but if you are not capable of working then some income has to be found from somewhere, so why not make money from the very thing that stops you from working? I'm sure that if I were in the situation where I had given in to my feedee tendencies then I would also turn to modelling as a way to fund my lifestyle.


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## Wagimawr (Feb 28, 2010)

Seraphina said:


> However I don't believe that how I feel grants me status of a feedee in the eyes of the "feeders" here because if I were single, which I am not, and I were looking for a feeder I would not be able to fulfill the fantasy role that they wished me to. I am not in a place where I want to be fed at the expense of the rest of my existence and that seems to be the line which many draw. If you aren't willing to sacrifice everything for the pursuit of fat and getting fatter than you are not a feedee.


Excellent points; I think this thread should really be "are there any gainers in this community that are not paysite models".


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## collared Princess (Mar 7, 2010)

I have been a feedee for years hanging out in the fat and gaining room here in Dim, way before I ever thought of being a pay site model..just wanted to clarify..


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## joey86 (Aug 20, 2011)

Bump... Any new feedees to dimensions?


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## bobsjers (Aug 20, 2011)

thatgirl08 said:


> Despite the notion this site is all about fetish it's actually really hard to talk about it on here.. too much stigma, too many stereotypes. And now I feel too invested in Dims emotionally to just lay it all out because I worry what people will think.. the people who I've met & who I care about on here. 99% of the time I wish I had kept it completly quiet but it's too late for that.



Fat is supposed to be the last acceptable prejudice. But who do many fat people hate? Feeders and feedees. And same thing with the size acceptance movement. It's very much "don't ask, don't tell." I know many people who are current or past feedees who keep very quiet about it.

I think it is also worth mentioning, that there is a lot of "inbetween." Someone who is fat and doesn't try to stop gaining, although they aren't trying to keep gaining either. People who like to see people gain, but not feel a need to cause it, etc.


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## Clonenumber47 (Aug 23, 2011)

As kind of an off-shoot comment, 

Recently I had been chatting with a friend I'd met on fantasyfeeder.com. I am on there to find friends who'd like to chat about similar interests about this plus sized community and/or about the feeder-ism fetish/life style.

After chatting about 3 or 4 times, she actually has the nerve to pretty much tell me that I can't talk to her anymore unless I go to her wishlist and buy her something or send money to her paypal account.

I firmly responded with a wtf, why? She said because I was a client, and no one gets free product. To which I again replied with, client? wtf? I stated that I thought I was chatting with a friend, not partaking in a fetish chat service. We then shared an extensive conversation on our difference in views on what Fantasyfeeder is used for.

I argued that the "I Seek You" function is for individuals to try to find like minded people, for dating, friendship, and even the occasional booty call. She argued that it is really for fans to find models for adult services. Personally I took great offense that this site had been bastardized by her and others like her to only take advantage of people's wallets. Soon after I found out that she was far from the only person using with those reasons in mind. I felt more like a fool then I did at the start.

It did put a very sour taste in my mouth for the community, fantasy feeder and all of the model sites. But it makes me wonder if people take any of this seriously. I wonder if they take it as more than just an adult material money maker. Are there real feeders and feedees out there that find a happy relationship while feederism is involved, or is it always about getting someones jollies off for money?

I really hope there are real people out there who take part and enjoy this just for the sake of it. I just wish there were more of them.


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## bobsjers (Aug 23, 2011)

Clonenumber47 said:


> As kind of an off-shoot comment,
> 
> Recently I had been chatting with a friend I'd met on fantasyfeeder.com. I am on there to find friends who'd like to chat about similar interests about this plus sized community and/or about the feeder-ism fetish/life style.
> 
> ...



That is what I said in a post a while back and got cursed at for saying. When dealing with feedees who have paysites, you're not their friend, you're a potential client.


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## thefaa21 (Aug 25, 2011)

Yah I do think that is a sketchy bit about FF. It is promoted as a dating/networking site yet you can tell some clearly use exclusively as a way to advertise their pay site.

I think this site has a smart way to deal with it by having a place exclusively for promotion of paysite material. 

That being said I'm sure there are at least a few people who run paysites yet still are using the site to legitimately meet people.


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## BellyGirl (Sep 4, 2011)

I wish I would have done a pay site...


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## Totmacher (Sep 4, 2011)

What's stopping you from trying now?


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## KHayes666 (Sep 5, 2011)

BellyGirl said:


> I wish I would have done a pay site...



Seconded ;-)


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## Amatrix (Sep 15, 2011)

Uh... I have a clips4sale that I haven't updated in like 2 months... I had a c4s to make more money when I was only finding part time work. Now I have 2 jobs. Hahahaha. Food is expensive!!!:eat2:

But I am a feedee, before and after clips4sale.
I never really considered myself a pay-site model to be honest- I rarely advertise on my tumblr. I put lots of free pictures and video up all the time.


:happy: We exist.


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