# Oh My, You American Men are Fat, or: How I Became an American Citizen



## Melian (Mar 15, 2009)

I always thought that Canadian and American men were, on average, the same size....I was wrong. 

I've just flown into Washington, DC, for a conference and it is like night and day compared to the men of Toronto. We are talking sensory overload, here; I will not be incredibly productive on this trip. 

Seriously though, you Americans know how to do it right. When I got to the hotel, they gave me a warm, fresh cookie at the check-in. Then in the room, there is a card to evaluate service - the first question is "Did we welcome you with a warm chocolate chip cookie at check-in?" 

Hahaha! Cheers, Americans (your FFAs are spoiled!)!!


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## Smite (Mar 15, 2009)

We try our hardest


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## Kahlan_FFA (Mar 15, 2009)

Hehe I kinda had a similar thing happen. I went to a gaming con and I swear it was like a buffet of chubby cuties.  So yay for the BIG nerd community.


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## protuberance (Mar 15, 2009)

What hotel was this? Free WARM cookies? The only the free at hotels is the attitudes of the shitstains who work there.


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## Melian (Mar 15, 2009)

Yeah, it was even warm. I don't know...maybe someone rubbed their ass on it until it warmed up...but it tasted good, and I didn't die, so no complaints


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## chicken legs (Mar 15, 2009)

I thought they had more in Canada...or are they just big and husky?


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## Uriel (Mar 16, 2009)

Kahlan_FFA said:


> Hehe I kinda had a similar thing happen. I went to a gaming con and I swear it was like a buffet of chubby cuties.  So yay for the BIG nerd community.



Haha, yep. I always say that when I go to Gencon (Indianapolis), I feel 'Svelte'.

Really, ladies, you should take up Gaming, it is a massive collection of fat men, and most are really and genuinely nice fellows, once they get past the fact that you are actually talking to them with interest. Just be ready for the inevitable 'Wanna see my Miniatures?' They are talking about little monsters, not...Ahem.




-Uriel


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## StridentDionysus (Mar 16, 2009)

Hey, drop by Mexico City sometime and you wont be disappointed either. 

You can also go to a border town, fat men + adventure (fire fights daily)


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## Uriel (Mar 16, 2009)

Uriel said:


> Haha, yep. I always say that when I go to Gencon (Indianapolis), I feel 'Svelte'.
> 
> Really, ladies, you should take up Gaming, it is a massive collection of fat men, and most are really and genuinely nice fellows, once they get past the fact that you are actually talking to them with interest. Just be ready for the inevitable 'Wanna see my Miniatures?' They are talking about little monsters, not...Ahem.
> 
> ...





Pick up lines for girls hunting for fat boys at a Game Con

1: I hear there is an All-You-Can-Eat Wings place across the street, you could sort your Magic cards while we eat...(And bat eyes at him)

2: 'Whoa, Aren't YOU a Save Vs. Sexxy Beast, DC 30!' (And bat eyes at him)

3: You look just like (Insert fave fat guy character from Anime)...And bat eyes at him, maybe Wink.

4: 'OMG, What Ever will I do? I accidentally ordered a XL Meat Lovers Deluxe for the room, and my Roomies are all watching Akira in the Convention Hall... If only some brave, hungry Soul could help me finish it...Ack! There's a 2-Liter of Mountain Dew there as well...
Plus, I need help sorting through my D&D Minis before the big tournament tomorrow!(Sigh, whilst batting eyes at him and maybe a little tongue-sticking out might help)

5: 'I :smitten:: Fat Boy Paladins!' on a T-Shirt (Um, maybe wearing it, and jiggling around so as to show how much you Heart fat Boy Paladins? 

6: 'Me: Aphrodite, You: Hephaestus!' I'd say Ares...but he isn't a BHM, and besides... Aphrodite+Ares is Cheating, and that isn't cool. She always went running back to Hephaestus anyways...for the real good Lovin'... Oh, Um, Eye-batting actually worked on him in some stories, so, Yeah, bat those lashes, Girls...

7: 'If you are the Runelord of Gluttony, then I'm the Runelady of Lust, Baby!' Maybe a leer instead of eye-batting...Oh, and have a heart. Some of these poor boys aren't used to hotties approaching them,so only use this line on a guy who looks like he can take it (And who appears to have his own room at the Con. Who wants to follow that line with a visit, to find that there are 4 other nerds crammed into the room, playing Risk...

8: 'Hi, I'm a 12th Level Succubus Courtesan, care to lose a few Levels in my room tonight?' This should need no eye-batting..

9: 'Um, wanna help me make a new character? I have the Book of Erotic Fantasy in my room...'

10: 'Hey there Cutie, I thought you might like to help me LARP a scene from my Chun Li/E Honda Fanfic Opera... Bet my Lightning-Kick can beat your Hundred-Hand-Slap, wanna find out>' Grin and look tough at him...it should do the trick.


-Uriel


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## Esther (Mar 16, 2009)

Uriel said:


> Pick up lines for girls hunting for fat boys at a Game Con
> 
> 1: I hear there is an All-You-Can-Eat Wings place across the street, you could sort your Magic cards while we eat...(And bat eyes at him)
> 
> ...



I just laughed sooo hard at all of this.
Dating a gamer can be tough though, trust me, I know from experience!! I had to pry the boy away from WOW, even boobies didn't work against it sometimes!


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## Esther (Mar 16, 2009)

chicken legs said:


> I thought they had more in Canada...or are they just big and husky?



We definitely have a lot of husky, plaid-wearing, beer-swilling post-hockey players around... I'm dating one. :wubu:


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## Uriel (Mar 16, 2009)

Esther said:


> I just laughed sooo hard at all of this.
> Dating a gamer can be tough though, trust me, I know from experience!! I had to pry the boy away from WOW, even boobies didn't work against it sometimes!



I'm an Old-School gamer...dice, little monsters, inagination, no WoW for me. Yes, I know your pain...

I know a girl who actually said to her BF (While he was playing WoW) 
'Well, guess I'll go find someone else who wants to F&#k me, cause I sure am HORNY right now...' He nodded, barely paying attention, mumbled 'Ok, see you later, baby... 'as he continued to type away on whatever battle he was engaged in.






-Uriel


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## Ninja Glutton (Mar 16, 2009)

Melian said:


> Yeah, it was even warm. I don't know...maybe someone rubbed their ass on it until it warmed up...but it tasted good, and I didn't die, so no complaints



I wish I could share that cookie with you 

Why must my professors be so strict about attendance? If I wasn't graduating next semester, I'd blow it off in a second to share a hotel room with you two lovely babes.


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## butch (Mar 16, 2009)

Melian said:


> I always thought that Canadian and American men were, on average, the same size....I was wrong.
> 
> I've just flown into Washington, DC, for a conference and it is like night and day compared to the men of Toronto. We are talking sensory overload, here; I will not be incredibly productive on this trip.
> 
> ...



I live in DC, coulda told you this.  Spend a little time on the Metro, and you'll see cute fatties of all races, ethnicities, socio-economic classes, and genders. And DC isn't even one of America's Fattest Cities!

Have a great time at the conference. PM me if you want to meet up or need any suggestions from a local.


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## Tad (Mar 16, 2009)

Ah, conferences offer great chances to be a fat-tourist (not a tourist who is fat, but somebody soaking in the fat scenery!). On the way to a conference I once had ninety minutes to cool my heels in the airport in Reno, Nevada. It is not a very big airport, and didnt have much to do (other than play slots, which didnt appeal). So I grabbed a coffee at the one available café, which happened to along the path that all arriving passengers came out along. 

Never in my entire life have I seen so much fat on parade. It totally boggled my mind. All ages, genders, ethnicities came pouring past, and while they werent all fat I dont think there was ever a moment when there were not fat folk passing by, except when nobody at all was going by. I was almost reluctant to leave when it was time to go grab the shuttle bus. But I doubt Ill ever forget the experienceit was a perfect time and place to be an omni-FA!

Although, I have to say Melian, you dont have to fly all the way to DC to see more fat guys. In general you just need to get out of Toronto (and the other big cities). When driving from Ottawa to Toronto, I often stop for lunch or dinner in the Quinte Mall in Belleville. That it is half way along the route is just a nice excuse. Going from Ottawa to Kitchener Id also notice a shift towards the hefty. So I suggest maybe you need to plan some more outing to smaller towns. By the by, the Orillia maple sugar festival is on in a few weeks


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## fat hiker (Mar 16, 2009)

edx said:


> Although, I have to say Melian, you dont have to fly all the way to DC to see more fat guys. In general you just need to get out of Toronto (and the other big cities). When driving from Ottawa to Toronto, I often stop for lunch or dinner in the Quinte Mall in Belleville. That it is half way along the route is just a nice excuse. Going from Ottawa to Kitchener Id also notice a shift towards the hefty. So I suggest maybe you need to plan some more outing to smaller towns. By the by, the Orillia maple sugar festival is on in a few weeks



Very, very true - even going from Toronto to Hamilton increases the average girth, let alone Guelph or smaller places. (From Ottawa, try Smiths Falls or Carleton Place.)

But, American fat is also very impressive. When I was transferred from Ottawa to Atlanta, I remember noting that the average male waistline grew substantially - I certainly wasn't as much a BHM down there! (and this was over a decade ago). Where a 'regular' jeans shop in Canada would have 40 or 42 as its biggest size, there 46 or 48 was suddenly 'regular'.


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## iheartsquishys (Mar 16, 2009)

Uriel said:


> Pick up lines for girls hunting for fat boys at a Game Con...
> -Uriel



I don't know anything about gaming so I'd feel like a tool using your pick up lines and them finding out latter that I was a fake however I had heard of the appeal of gaming conventions. Last time one was in town I went and wore a shirt that said "I'm only here for the fatties." Some people were offended but some weren't at all.


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## Uriel (Mar 16, 2009)

iheartsquishys said:


> I don't know anything about gaming so I'd feel like a tool using your pick up lines and them finding out latter that I was a fake however I had heard of the appeal of gaming conventions. Last time one was in town I went and wore a shirt that said "I'm only here for the fatties." Some people were offended but some weren't at all.



Well, the I :smitten: Fat Boy Paladins * is pretty easy...someone should put that on a T-Shirt.


* Sub Wizards, Knights, Sorcerers, Rogues, Whatever...

-Uriel


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## topher38 (Mar 16, 2009)

Now when I lived in Missisauga there was one 400ish pound fat man down at the bar every time I was there...oh wait that was me NM


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## Melian (Mar 16, 2009)

Arg...I'm rushing off to a lecture now...can't respond to everything, but:



Ninja Glutton said:


> I wish I could share that cookie with you
> 
> Why must my professors be so strict about attendance? If I wasn't graduating next semester, I'd blow it off in a second to share a hotel room with you two lovely babes.



Might be MORE...see below. BTW, one skipped class never failed anyone 
(also, the meeting has moved to tomorrow and will be a St Patrick's day boozefest, with crashing at my hotel)




butch said:


> I live in DC, coulda told you this.  Spend a little time on the Metro, and you'll see cute fatties of all races, ethnicities, socio-economic classes, and genders. And DC isn't even one of America's Fattest Cities!
> 
> Have a great time at the conference. PM me if you want to meet up or need any suggestions from a local.



Consider yourself PM'd :happy:



edx said:


> Ah, conferences offer great chances to be a fat-tourist (not a tourist who is fat, but somebody soaking in the fat scenery!). On the way to a conference I once had ninety minutes to cool my heels in the airport in Reno, Nevada. It is not a very big airport, and didnt have much to do (other than play slots, which didnt appeal). So I grabbed a coffee at the one available café, which happened to along the path that all arriving passengers came out along.
> 
> Never in my entire life have I seen so much fat on parade. It totally boggled my mind. All ages, genders, ethnicities came pouring past, and while they werent all fat I dont think there was ever a moment when there were not fat folk passing by, except when nobody at all was going by. I was almost reluctant to leave when it was time to go grab the shuttle bus. But I doubt Ill ever forget the experienceit was a perfect time and place to be an omni-FA!
> 
> Although, I have to say Melian, you dont have to fly all the way to DC to see more fat guys. In general you just need to get out of Toronto (and the other big cities). When driving from Ottawa to Toronto, I often stop for lunch or dinner in the Quinte Mall in Belleville. That it is half way along the route is just a nice excuse. Going from Ottawa to Kitchener Id also notice a shift towards the hefty. So I suggest maybe you need to plan some more outing to smaller towns. By the by, the Orillia maple sugar festival is on in a few weeks



Hm...my parents are getting a place in Orillia. Maybe I will be a good daughter and visit them more often.


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## Tad (Mar 16, 2009)

Melian said:


> Hm...my parents are getting a place in Orillia. Maybe I will be a good daughter and visit them more often.



Oops, Monday morning brain there; I meant Ellora, not Orillia. (The former is north of Waterloo, the latter north of Lake Simcoe). Now, for all I know Orillia may have a maple sugar festival, but you'd have to investigate.

Anyway, you have a BYOBHM, so I figure the main value of visiting those places is to remind him that, outside of Toronto, there are men who don't think their work out and diet qualify as important topics of conversation. (seriously last party I was at in Toronto almost all anyone talked about was real estate, diets, and work outs. It was horrifying!)


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## Ninja Glutton (Mar 16, 2009)

Melian said:


> Might be MORE...see below. BTW, one skipped class never failed anyone
> (also, the meeting has moved to tomorrow and will be a St Patrick's day boozefest, with crashing at my hotel)



Yeah, but 5 skipped classes do. I cannot do anything to fuck up my graduation or my plans to move to LA are done.


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## Melian (Mar 16, 2009)

Ninja Glutton said:


> Yeah, but 5 skipped classes do. I cannot do anything to fuck up my graduation or my plans to move to LA are done.



ALL your profs take attendance and grade you on it??? 

That is seriously f'd up, man. In undergrad, I skipped at least 5 classes per week for 4 years (read the texts, though) and finished with a 92 average!

And, alas, I have found one shortcoming of America: you can't buy hard liquor anywhere!! In Toronto, I am 5 minutes away from 3 different LCBO's, which are open pretty late. Here, I had to walk for about 1.5h (because everyone kept saying "I think it's 3 more blocks....") and when I finally found the place, it wasn't even an official gov't operated store. It was just a place with a neon sign called "Paul's Liquor." 

BUT...the booze was sold to me by a REALLY SEXY BHM. I mad flirted with the guy and will probably girl-fap to his memory later tonight. I had to wonder if he knows about Dimensions.

Guy from Paul's Liquor: if you're reading this and you remember chatting about Zubrowka with a small, red/purple haired Canadian woman in a pinstripe trenchcoat....she wanted to do you. Haha.


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## LoveBHMS (Mar 16, 2009)

How funny is this....but I know him.


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## Melian (Mar 16, 2009)

LoveBHMS said:


> How funny is this....but I know him.



Are you in the area? If you are and want to join butch, Dr P and I tomorrow night for drinks, PM me!!!

And we will discuss Mr Paul's Liquor.....


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## Uriel (Mar 16, 2009)

Melian said:


> And, alas, I have found one shortcoming of America: you can't buy hard liquor anywhere!!




You are visiting the wrong part of the country...

The East/South has stupid shit like 'Dry Counties', etc... California, there are Liquor stores on every other corner (With Coffee shops occupying the other corners), Bev Mo and Bars everywhere.

Now, they do stop serving at 2am, but still...Nevada, now...Buy booze all you want, whenever you want.

-Uriel


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## Melian (Mar 16, 2009)

Uriel said:


> You are visiting the wrong part of the country...
> 
> The East/South has stupid shit like 'Dry Counties', etc... California, there are Liquor stores on every other corner (With Coffee shops occupying the other corners), Bev Mo and Bars everywhere.
> 
> ...



Yeah, Toronto stops serving around 2am too...but you are predrunk as fuck when you arrive at the bar at 11-12...soooooo it doesn't really matter. I've even had a hard time staking out a pub for St Patrick's day, here.

And next time I come to America I will try to hit a better state. I had no choice in the matter, this time, because the boss sent me to this conference in his place *shrug*


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## Ninja Glutton (Mar 17, 2009)

Melian said:


> Yeah, Toronto stops serving around 2am too...but you are predrunk as fuck when you arrive at the bar at 11-12...soooooo it doesn't really matter. I've even had a hard time staking out a pub for St Patrick's day, here.
> 
> And next time I come to America I will try to hit a better state. I had no choice in the matter, this time, because the boss sent me to this conference in his place *shrug*



It's called pregaming 

And don't think I wouldn't have come if there were any possible way. If I were a freshman or sophomore or something, I'd be like fuck it, I'm going, but I'm trying to get my shit in order. Someday when I take a trip to Canada you will be first on my visiting list. After the local street pharmacist, of course.


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## Tad (Mar 17, 2009)

Melian said:


> Are you in the area? If you are and want to join butch, Dr P and I tomorrow night for drinks, PM me!!!



*insanely jealous* A bunch of my fave Dimmers in one place!


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## Surlysomething (Mar 17, 2009)

Uriel said:


> Pick up lines for girls hunting for fat boys at a Game Con
> 
> 1: I hear there is an All-You-Can-Eat Wings place across the street, you could sort your Magic cards while we eat...(And bat eyes at him)
> 
> ...



Whoa, you totally let your Nerd show with this.


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## fat hiker (Mar 17, 2009)

Melian said:


> ALL your profs take attendance and grade you on it???
> 
> That is seriously f'd up, man. In undergrad, I skipped at least 5 classes per week for 4 years (read the texts, though) and finished with a 92 average!


There are lots of postsecondary programs like that now - especially at colleges and private training schools.



Melian said:


> And, alas, I have found one shortcoming of America: you can't buy hard liquor anywhere!! In Toronto, I am 5 minutes away from 3 different LCBO's, which are open pretty late. Here, I had to walk for about 1.5h (because everyone kept saying "I think it's 3 more blocks....") and when I finally found the place, it wasn't even an official gov't operated store. It was just a place with a neon sign called "Paul's Liquor."
> 
> BUT...the booze was sold to me by a REALLY SEXY BHM. I mad flirted with the guy and will probably girl-fap to his memory later tonight. I had to wonder if he knows about Dimensions.



Melian, you are being too adorably Canadian. Goernment operated liquor stores are a strange, Canadianism that drive foreign tourists crazy (and only exist in nine provinces, as liquor sales in Alberta are also all private sector). Now, liquor sales in the USA are controlled (no buying a micky of rum in a grocery store, as one might in most of Europe), but LCBOs, SAQs, NSLCs, etc., are a Canadian holdover from our prohibition days.

Insanely profitable, too!


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## rabbitislove (Mar 17, 2009)

protuberance said:


> What hotel was this? Free WARM cookies? The only the free at hotels is the attitudes of the shitstains who work there.



It sounds like the Doubletree. I stayed en route to Hawaii two and a half years ago. Those cookies are amazing! I love staying in hotels for some wierd reason, and that was up there with the best Ive stayed at.


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## Carl1h (Mar 17, 2009)

fat hiker said:


> Melian, you are being too adorably Canadian. Goernment operated liquor stores are a strange, Canadianism that drive foreign tourists crazy (and only exist in nine provinces, as liquor sales in Alberta are also all private sector). Now, liquor sales in the USA are controlled (no buying a micky of rum in a grocery store, as one might in most of Europe), but LCBOs, SAQs, NSLCs, etc., are a Canadian holdover from our prohibition days.



Actually, as someone mentioned, liquor sales laws in the US vary by state and sometimes even by county within each state. Down here in New Mexico most grocery stores sell beer, wine and liquor. In Kansas only liquor stores can sell liquor (and those stores can't sell anything but liquor, beer and wine, no munchies for example) but grocery stores can sell beer and malt beverages (a loophole for wine cooler type drinks) under a certain alcohol content. In Pennsylvania (as I recall at least, it's been a while since I was there) you buy beer from the beer warehouses, but only by the case and liquor you buy from state liquor stores. Texas varies by county with wet counties next to dry counties. Those are the states I'm familiar with, but you get the idea. Until the 80's the drinking age varied from state to state as well, then the federal government pushed the states to all adapt 21 as the drinking age or have their federal highway funds cut off. Even now I think one state (North Dakota?) still holds out with a drinking age of 18. Going from state to state around here can be just as confusing as coming from a foreign country.


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## Esther (Mar 17, 2009)

Carl1h said:


> Actually, as someone mentioned, liquor sales laws in the US vary by state and sometimes even by county within each state. Down here in New Mexico most grocery stores sell beer, wine and liquor. In Kansas only liquor stores can sell liquor (and those stores can't sell anything but liquor, beer and wine, no munchies for example) but grocery stores can sell beer and malt beverages (a loophole for wine cooler type drinks) under a certain alcohol content. In Pennsylvania (as I recall at least, it's been a while since I was there) you buy beer from the beer warehouses, but only by the case and liquor you buy from state liquor stores. Texas varies by county with wet counties next to dry counties. Those are the states I'm familiar with, but you get the idea. Until the 80's the drinking age varied from state to state as well, then the federal government pushed the states to all adapt 21 as the drinking age or have their federal highway funds cut off. Even now I think one state (North Dakota?) still holds out with a drinking age of 18. Going from state to state around here can be just as confusing as coming from a foreign country.



My man-friend tours with his band on rather randomly-charted routes through the States... he's described this particular confusion to me before. He finds it especially frustrating because usually they're only stopping in a certain state for a day or two, so they don't really have time to run around figuring out where the booze is sold.


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## Canonista (Mar 17, 2009)

iheartsquishys said:


> I don't know anything about gaming so I'd feel like a tool using your pick up lines and them finding out latter that I was a fake however I had heard of the appeal of gaming conventions. Last time one was in town I went and wore a shirt that said "I'm only here for the fatties." Some people were offended but some weren't at all.




Maybe the offended thought it was a marijuana reference? :doh:


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## Ninja Glutton (Mar 17, 2009)

Canonista said:


> Maybe the offended thought it was a marijuana reference? :doh:



Haha. I was TOTALLY thinking the same thing. Great potheads think alike.


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## Uriel (Mar 17, 2009)

Surlysomething said:


> Whoa, you totally let your Nerd show with this.



Yep, I am an unashamed Nerd...Compared to the Horde (Pun Intended) of Crackhead World of Warcraft gamers, we dice&paper guys are quaint, and fairly 'normal'... At least we don't spend 16 hours straight, ignoring our girls (OR boys, not to be sexist, there are plenty of girl0gamers now...) for a 'Raid'.




-Uriel


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## Surlysomething (Mar 17, 2009)

Uriel said:


> Yep, I am an unashamed Nerd...Compared to the Horde (Pun Intended) of Crackhead World of Warcraft gamers, we dice&paper guys are quaint, and fairly 'normal'... At least we don't spend 16 hours straight, ignoring our girls (OR boys, not to be sexist, there are plenty of girl0gamers now...) for a 'Raid'.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Apples/Oranges


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## Lavasse (Mar 17, 2009)

Well just for your information in Wisconsin we have taps straight from the breweries into your home  just kidding.

It's not quite like that but its close. In our town we have a liquor store, the grocery store sells bear and hard alcohol, most of the little markets sell beer, theres offsale from bars, and even the dollar store sells beer.

In other areas the gas stations also sell beer, and in one of the cities about 60 miles away they have a drive thru liquor store. Thats the same city where you could put the entire population of the the city in a place that sells alcohol at once and never violate the fire code. (Population roughly 27,000 the last I knew)

We like to drink that's why our baseball team is the Brewers.

We like to eat that's why our football team is the Packers. (Meatpackers also see Cheeseheads)

We like to hunt that's why our basketball team is the Bucks.

We don't need no stinking hockey ice is for FISHING!!!


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## jewels_mystery (Mar 18, 2009)

rabbitislove said:


> It sounds like the Doubletree. I stayed en route to Hawaii two and a half years ago. Those cookies are amazing! I love staying in hotels for some wierd reason, and that was up there with the best Ive stayed at.



I second this. It has to be doubletree. I love those freaking cookies!!


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## AZ_Wolf (Mar 18, 2009)

Yes, the east coast states are by and large quite messed up when it comes to the purchase and enjoyment of alcohol. PA is the most messed-up of them all. As mentioned above, you can only get beer by the case in beer warehouses, and you cannot load it into your own car -- an employee must load it for you. Hard alcohol can only be purchased at a State Store. Some bars and restaurants can acquire a 'package goods' license which allows them to sell six-packs of beer for carry-out, also. All that was at least so back when I still lived there.

As a kid, I also remember being on a vacation in VA with family and my father being able to order a beer in a restaurant there, but he wasn't allowed to drink it in public. So he had to hold it under the table in a bag and take drinks of it that way. Don't know if that was just a rule for that particular restaurant, but it seems unlikely. That was a while ago, though (in the 70's).

Here in AZ, any place that sells any beverage can also sell liquor of any kind. We even have big-box liquor stores.


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## chaoticfate13 (Mar 18, 2009)

come to chicago, easier to get booze or find a good bar and the men are pretty fat (im getting there) were all about the food here. its a pretty fun city i think


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## Melian (Mar 18, 2009)

jewels_mystery said:


> I second this. It has to be doubletree. I love those freaking cookies!!



You caught me 

The cookie was delicious. I was tempted to check in a second time with a fake moustache and top hat just to get another one.


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## Uriel (Mar 18, 2009)

AZ_Wolf said:


> Here in AZ, any place that sells any beverage can also sell liquor of any kind. We even have big-box liquor stores.



Growing up there...I remember Drive-Thru Liquor Stores...

Woohoo!!!! Your dad didn't even have to get out of the car to get more beer (Besides, he would just make a mess, what, with all of those beer cans falling into the parking lot and all...)


-Uriel


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## logix (Mar 18, 2009)

Uriel said:


> Pick up lines for girls hunting for fat boys at a Game Con
> 
> 1: I hear there is an All-You-Can-Eat Wings place across the street, you could sort your Magic cards while we eat...(And bat eyes at him)
> 
> ...



LoL i'll add one for you.

11: Your arcade stick is awesome, want to play?

12: 1 h4v3 b33n pw3n by y0ur 1337 b3lly.


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## Ninja Glutton (Mar 19, 2009)

AZ_Wolf said:


> Yes, the east coast states are by and large quite messed up when it comes to the purchase and enjoyment of alcohol. PA is the most messed-up of them all. As mentioned above, you can only get beer by the case in beer warehouses, and you cannot load it into your own car -- an employee must load it for you.



You can definitely load it into your own car. I've done it a million times. The beer distributor and liquor store things are true, though. Non-bars can get licensing to carry beer by the case too, but they can't sell it in greater quantities than 40s, 6-packs, and 12-packs.


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## Brooklyn Red Leg (Mar 19, 2009)

Kahlan_FFA said:


> Hehe I kinda had a similar thing happen. I went to a gaming con and I swear it was like a buffet of chubby cuties.  So yay for the BIG nerd community.



Where have you been all my life!


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## Brooklyn Red Leg (Mar 19, 2009)

Uriel said:


> I'm an Old-School gamer...dice, little monsters, inagination, no WoW for me.



Brown box OD&D or you're a heretic!


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## Bellyjeansgirl (Mar 19, 2009)

Uriel said:


> Haha, yep. I always say that when I go to Gencon (Indianapolis), I feel 'Svelte'.
> 
> Really, ladies, you should take up Gaming, it is a massive collection of fat men, and most are really and genuinely nice fellows, once they get past the fact that you are actually talking to them with interest. Just be ready for the inevitable 'Wanna see my Miniatures?' They are talking about little monsters, not...Ahem.
> 
> ...



<.< I did take up gaming and it actually wasn't for the guys, but it didn't help anyways. Still single. *twiddles thumbs*

I can't understand why all the slender guys like me, but the BHMs don't. Is it just the appeal of chasing after a girl? 

Edit: Then again I'm in Florida. Not many gamers here. If there are... they HIDE.


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## JenFromOC (Mar 19, 2009)

Melian said:


> You caught me
> 
> The cookie was delicious. I was tempted to check in a second time with a fake moustache and top hat just to get another one.



All you have to do is ask for more LOL!!! My mother did this when we were on vacation together this summer...I almost died...but I sure did eat that second cookie.


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## Uriel (Mar 19, 2009)

Brooklyn Red Leg said:


> Brown box OD&D or you're a heretic!



Psst! You mean 'White Box', although the books were tan/brown. I think I still have a copy of those somewhere...

When I was running a Gamestore, and we did used games business, there was a ridiculously long waitlist for the White Box. The rules are pretty goofy, but they did start it all...
The blatant Tolkien *ahem* borrowing was the best. Stats for Wraiths, calling them the Nazgul...Hehehe.


Uriel


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## Carl1h (Mar 20, 2009)

Brooklyn Red Leg said:


> Brown box OD&D or you're a heretic!





Uriel said:


> Psst! You mean 'White Box', although the books were tan/brown. I think I still have a copy of those somewhere...
> 
> When I was running a Gamestore, and we did used games business, there was a ridiculously long waitlist for the White Box. The rules are pretty goofy, but they did start it all...
> The blatant Tolkien *ahem* borrowing was the best. Stats for Wraiths, calling them the Nazgul...Hehehe.



Oh sure, if you didn't mind playing what was popular rather than what was good you went with D+D. If you weren't satisfied with being part of the herd you went with Empire of the Petal Throne or Dragonquest.

But they were probably too hardcore for you two nerdpuffs.


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## Brooklyn Red Leg (Mar 20, 2009)

Carl1h said:


> But they were probably too hardcore for you two nerdpuffs.



Hahaha, not quite. Although I don't own a copy of EotPT, I am an avid fan of Rob Kuntz and Dave Arneson's works of late (though, like Dave, I'm ambivalent to _Blackmoor_ being 4E). _Bottle City_ and _The Original Living Room_ (both part of the original _Castle Greyhawk_) are but 2 of the products I proudly own that are part of gaming history. :happy:

To those in this thread that just went 'WTF?', this is classic nerdiness. Love it, embrace it, live it!


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## Melian (Mar 20, 2009)

JenFromOC said:


> All you have to do is ask for more LOL!!! My mother did this when we were on vacation together this summer...I almost died...but I sure did eat that second cookie.



You're fucking kidding me....

:doh:

I need to be more demanding.


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## Uriel (Mar 20, 2009)

Carl1h said:


> Oh sure, if you didn't mind playing what was popular rather than what was good you went with D+D. If you weren't satisfied with being part of the herd you went with Empire of the Petal Throne or Dragonquest.
> 
> But they were probably too hardcore for you two nerdpuffs.



Er...Nerdpuff? Dude, as far as D&D, I was what, 9? 

I'm a Rolemaster guy...nothing Puffy about that. Masochistic, yes...Sadistic, definitely..5...hour...character gen. I still shake my head at running that for 9 years. That and Runequest, and Panzer Blitz, but that is hardly a RPG, just what I was playing at that age (8-12 or so)(With my cheating brother...'Look Ronny, you can be the Russians, they get lots of Infantry...'like I didn't know what a Tiger Tank was. 
Then MERP,RQ,RM a few years later.


Dragonquest...That was the game with stats for God in it, in the 'Heaven and Hell' roster in the back. Blond barbarian holding a Dragon's severed head on the cover. Or was that game title Dragonslayer(s)... Good magic system, though.

EotPT...didn't encounter that at an early age,and when I finally did see a copy,it failed to impress me enough to get involved with it. I don't run published settings )Other than running MERP from 84-93 or so, first as MERP, then as RM in (Remembering) 87,I prefer making my own (Huge respect to Barker for EotPT, though). TSR put it out as well, and didn't support it like they should have.


-Uriel


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## Uriel (Mar 20, 2009)

I'm trying to find a puc of the cover I mentioned...Stupid Internet...


-Uriel


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## Wanderer (Mar 20, 2009)

Uriel said:


> I'm trying to find a puc of the cover I mentioned...Stupid Internet...
> 
> 
> -Uriel









I assume that's it? That's the 1st edition, available from Amazon.com.


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## Wanderer (Mar 20, 2009)

Bellyjeansgirl said:


> <.< I did take up gaming and it actually wasn't for the guys, but it didn't help anyways. Still single. *twiddles thumbs*
> 
> I can't understand why all the slender guys like me, but the BHMs don't. Is it just the appeal of chasing after a girl?
> 
> Edit: Then again I'm in Florida. Not many gamers here. If there are... they HIDE.



Hey, I'd gladly join your party... no double entendre intended.  Unfortunately, I'm in a game-sparse location myself, these days.


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## Wanderer (Mar 20, 2009)

Uriel said:


> Psst! You mean 'White Box', although the books were tan/brown. I think I still have a copy of those somewhere...
> 
> When I was running a Gamestore, and we did used games business, there was a ridiculously long waitlist for the White Box. The rules are pretty goofy, but they did start it all...
> The blatant Tolkien *ahem* borrowing was the best. Stats for Wraiths, calling them the Nazgul...Hehehe.
> ...



Ah, the days when the orcs got the game censored for using methods taken from Vietnam...


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## Carl1h (Mar 20, 2009)

Uriel said:


> I'm trying to find a puc of the cover I mentioned...Stupid Internet...
> 
> 
> -Uriel


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## Tad (Mar 20, 2009)

I caught the gaming bug in the Summer of 1979, when the AD&D Player's Handbook and Monster Manual had been published, but not the Dungeon Master's Guide, which had all the tables in it you needed for things like hitting anything or making saving throws, so we used ones from one of the older D&D products, which was interesting as there real differences between the versions of the game (like number of armour classes). At the time even the town nerd-shrine (aka game store) didn't really carry much in other RPG that I can recall, other than Traveller I think, which we didn't take to so much ("You're character can die _during_ character creation? That is so stupid!") But then the explosion of titles started. At various time we played all of: Top Secret, Space Opera, Gamma World, Aftermath, Bushido, Swords & Sorcery, Champions, and one or two others that I can't recall right now, before settling on a home brew system for our final few years of gaming before university split us up.

Now, we didn't play Tunnels & Trolls, or Traveller, or DragonQuest, but others didn't fight their way through the incoherence of Space Opera. So I think these 'geekier than thou' discussions get pretty silly pretty fast. 

We were all little nerdlings at the time, a lot of the games really were pretty horrible, and we all had a lot of fun with them despite all of that. So there


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## Wanderer (Mar 20, 2009)

Likewise, gamers here in Texas are, well, "Texas-sized". My last GM (now sadly deceased) was built like a cannonball; with his passing, I'm now the second-biggest of my friends, behind my friend Chris (who stands about 6'10" with a good-sized gut) and ahead of my friends Ken and Michael.

And if anyone's looking for players, I'm sadly available... our group hasn't met since the GM died last year.


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## Carl1h (Mar 20, 2009)

edx said:


> Now, we didn't play Tunnels & Trolls, or Traveller, or DragonQuest, but others didn't fight their way through the incoherence of Space Opera. So I think these 'geekier than thou' discussions get pretty silly pretty fast.
> 
> We were all little nerdlings at the time, a lot of the games really were pretty horrible, and we all had a lot of fun with them despite all of that. So there



Actually, silly was exactly what I was aiming for. 

That and some reminiscing about old rpgs.


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## AZ_Wolf (Mar 20, 2009)

Uriel said:


> Er...Nerdpuff? Dude, as far as D&D, I was what, 9?
> 
> I'm a Rolemaster guy...nothing Puffy about that. Masochistic, yes...Sadistic, definitely..5...hour...character gen. I still shake my head at running that for 9 years.
> -Uriel



Chartmaster!

We played that once in a while, but only one guy in our group owned it. Mostly we played original AD&D. Though once in a while we'd wander off....Play Gamma World, Top Secret, Dawn Patrol, Wooden Ships & Iron Men.


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## Uriel (Mar 20, 2009)

AZ_Wolf said:


> Chartmaster!




Yep... These days I play HARP, which is like Rolemaster, but fun...

Weird,3rd Ed D&D took their skill system (Ranks) from RM, which is no surprise, since Monte Cook started his career with ICE, and was the guy who overhauled their Skill system, back in the RM Comp I.

HARP seems to have retaken from D20, as it is a 'user-friendly' version of RM. I'll never go back to RM,but I do have some fond memories.


-Uriel


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## Wanderer (Mar 20, 2009)

Carl1h said:


>



Call it a tie? Mine's first edition, but your picture is bigger.


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## Carl1h (Mar 20, 2009)

Wanderer said:


> Call it a tie? Mine's first edition, but your picture is bigger.



Mine's the cover of the book (which is technically what he asked for), yours is a picture of the box. 

Actually it just took that long for me to make the jpeg and size it down and get it hosted. Yours wasn't there when I started (or I wouldn't have bothered), but it was when I finished. Damn my poor computer skillz!


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## AZ_Wolf (Mar 21, 2009)

While I'd love to game again, I would be hard-pressed to move out of original AD&D. Maybe if I could sell my old holdings to rich nerds, it might motivate me to open up, but...don't see that happening. I was always rather aggressive then, now I'm owning a shotgun at home where this year so far we've had 3 robberies per day in our neighborhood association. So...not dialing it down. And nerdy, but perhaps not so much. :bow:


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