# What's your biggest sexual turn-off?



## puppy (Oct 5, 2007)

Weird sex sounds. Don't get me wrong, I love sex sounds, but unusual weird sounds or weird phrases in bed really kill it for me. For example, I dated this guy who would roar LIKE A LION when he came! The first time, I was alarmed as I thought he was hurt! I referred to him to my friends as "The Wild Beast of the Jungle". Geez.


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## Seth Warren (Oct 5, 2007)

I am imagining that right now and laughing maniacally.


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## CravInTheCurves88 (Oct 5, 2007)

puppy said:


> Weird sex sounds. Don't get me wrong, I love sex sounds, but unusual weird sounds or weird phrases in bed really kill it for me. For example, I dated this guy who would roar LIKE A LION when he came! The first time, I was alarmed as I thought he was hurt! I referred to him to my friends as "The Wild Beast of the Jungle". Geez.



O my i would have to agree, that does sound pretty horrific :_p, i personally get turned off when they dont know how to please me correctly, i mean show me what your workin with haha ... and in all honestly when i acutally have to show him what he is doing wrong, just doesnt work for me..


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## Britannia (Oct 5, 2007)

I was with a guy with huge plugs... 1.5" inches in diameter...

I couldn't do anything with him if he was standing up, because his fucking ears would flop like a dog...

I actually started LAUGHING and couldn't stop.


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## BothGunsBlazing (Oct 5, 2007)

ahahaha .. I've been guilty of doing this at some point, but I can tell you it is the ultimate sexual buzzkill.

Being all intimate with some one and and out of nowhere one of us will all of a sudden go "you know, you have this little blemish here, I bet I can get it" 

no .. no that is ok, please don't. 
are you sure? it'll only take a second
yeah, pretty positive

*moments later*

ooh, yeah, that is spot .. keep .. OOOWWW WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT?!

probably not my biggest sexual turn off, but one of the more amusing ones story wise.


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## Ivy (Oct 5, 2007)

baby talk. i was seeing this guy a looong time ago and we were having phone sex and he referred to my boobs at "my tittiwitties" and his dick as his "weally bwig wee wee pee." (wee wee pee?? WHAT?) in the same conversation he also refered to my vag as as a "pwussywussy."

uh, there is nothin wussy bout my pussy, dudebro.

that was the last time i talked to him. i pretty much just stopped answering his calls and thankfully, never ran into him out and about.


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## DUBLINDA (Oct 5, 2007)

My biggest sexual turn-off has got be when my ex-gf and I were getting busy and she said to me "I so know how to please you mammy" (mommy for all you people stateside).

So not a good time to be think of my mum or of being anyone's mum. Thats just sick. I later found out that she actually fancied my mum which just made things even worse.


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## Gspoon (Oct 5, 2007)

A good turn off is a punch in the ol' bag...

I mean, a really big turn off for me is smoking, or smoke in the air. I can't stand smoking at all.


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## goofy girl (Oct 5, 2007)

Bad kissers.


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## gangstadawg (Oct 5, 2007)

smoking is my absolute biggest turn off.


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## Miss Vickie (Oct 5, 2007)

Bad breath. 

Oh. And assholedness.

Hence the reason my ex husband is... well... my ex.


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## Still a Skye fan (Oct 5, 2007)

I've watched relatives and dear friends die from smoking. 

I will never date a smoker, regardless of how appealing I may find her.


Dennis


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## gangstadawg (Oct 5, 2007)

Still a Skye fan said:


> I've watched relatives and dear friends die from smoking.
> 
> I will never date a smoker, regardless of how appealing I may find her.
> 
> ...


co-sign and i agree.


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## Britannia (Oct 5, 2007)

I'm starting to think that maybe my stogie habit is why I'm not landing many dates (besides my vivaciousness being intimidating, of course)...

But Tucson's a bunch of potheads. We don't pollute via cars, we pollute via ganja & cancer sticks.

Soooooooooooo...


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## Ruby Ripples (Oct 5, 2007)

The mere suggestion of sucking my toes, ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Stay AWAY from my feet completely!!


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## supersoup (Oct 5, 2007)

Ruby Ripples said:


> The mere suggestion of sucking my toes, ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Stay AWAY from my feet completely!!



i love you!!! the same goes for me! naaaaaaaaasty.


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## mossystate (Oct 5, 2007)

*LOL*

I love me a man who loves my feet. Not talking about some guy who has a ' fetish '..just someone who knows that feet hold the key to much pleasure. So, you two girls, would you like to see a picture of an ex of mine..mouth open..arms out to the side...half of my foot in his mouth..???

I can post it if you want me too:wubu:


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## tonynyc (Oct 5, 2007)

Chest Hair


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## supersoup (Oct 5, 2007)

mossystate said:


> *LOL*
> 
> I love me a man who loves my feet. Not talking about some guy who has a ' fetish '..just someone who knows that feet hold the key to much pleasure. So, you two girls, would you like to see a picture of an ex of mine..mouth open..arms out to the side...half of my foot in his mouth..???
> 
> I can post it if you want me too:wubu:



 

no miss mossy, no!!


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## CAMellie (Oct 5, 2007)

Don't touch my feet!
Monkey men! SOME body hair is just fine...especially the "treasure trail" *drools for a bit*...oh yeah...but when you get naked and look like you're wearing a hair suit? Don't come near me, or I'll run screaming like a little girl.
Don't try to eat my face when you kiss me.


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## PamelaLois (Oct 5, 2007)

In order of revulsion:

Smoking
Drug use
Bad teeth
Baby talk

Smoking is the #1 deal breaker for me, I can't stand to be around anyone smoking. I dated a guy who used baby talk, called me Pammy wammy, I wanted to smack him, hard. Made my skin crawl.


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## SuperMishe (Oct 5, 2007)

I'm right there with the smoking thing - ugh...

But I'm also hugely turned off by someone who doesn't understand how to "french kiss". If we start kissing and suddenly some slimy hot tongue is shoved in my mouth, the first thing I want to retch! :doh: I don't mind it if it's done right and I _do_ try to show them... just a little touch of the tips of tongues, a tiny lick of my lip, a single slow in and out tease... but please don't try to lick my tonsils! Eewwww


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## BigBawdyDame (Oct 5, 2007)

I'm right there with ya, SuperMishe. Too much tongue, YUCK! Don't make me gag for heaven's sake!


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## mossystate (Oct 5, 2007)

Ummm..when you first say hi to them..do not turn my nipples as if you are trying to crack a safe...k?


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## mimosa (Oct 5, 2007)

Guys with girl-y voices turn me off. Oh and this guy.... 


http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=17651423


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## Tina (Oct 5, 2007)

Mine is, without a moment's hesitation, a guy who whines. It takes away his manhood in my eyes and reduces him to a baby. Can't help it, it is a visceral, uncontrollable response in me.


CravInTheCurves88 said:


> O my i would have to agree, that does sound pretty horrific :_p, i personally get turned off when they dont know how to please me correctly, i mean show me what your workin with haha ... and in all honestly when i acutally have to show him what he is doing wrong, just doesnt work for me..


Now, see, I don't mind that at all, as long as the guy is willing to learn. If he's willing and wanting to learn how to please me and not be all ego-driven in feeling he knows best how to please me, he is the best lover in the world, IMO.


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## Violet_Beauregard (Oct 5, 2007)

Having the TV on.... especially something with laughter... or sports... or news.... MAJOR distraction.


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## Tina (Oct 5, 2007)

tonynyc said:


> Chest Hair



Tony, that cracks me up. What, you don't want a woman who needs to shave her cleavage?


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## tonynyc (Oct 5, 2007)

Tina said:


> Tony, that cracks me up. What, you don't want a woman who needs to shave her cleavage?



*
Well Tina: 
I've had some interesting 'blind dates' - but, the chest hair was too much of a surprize  . My next pet peeve is mustaches  
*


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## Tina (Oct 5, 2007)

I'm Italian, I have a bit of a 'stache, but I wax it.


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## tonynyc (Oct 5, 2007)

Tina said:


> I'm Italian, I have a bit of a 'stache, but I wax it.



*
Tina - you look adorable - I mean poor folks that are walking around with more than a 5 O'Clock shadow.. 

Hmmm then again I read a earlier post about guys having a less than baritone voice - so I better quit while I'm still ahead  
*


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## Tina (Oct 5, 2007)

Thanks, Tony. Eh, none of us is perfect, and certainly not everyone sounds like James Earl Jones (which is good, 'cause I don't wanna)!


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## mimosa (Oct 5, 2007)

haha...You are right, Tina! No one is perfect. I don't need a guy to sound like James Earl Jones. Just was long as he doesn't sound like Mike Tyson or Michael Jackson. 




Tina said:


> Thanks, Tony. Eh, none of us is perfect, and certainly not everyone sounds like James Earl Jones (which is good, 'cause I don't wanna)!


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## Aliena (Oct 5, 2007)

The biggest turn off is being asked if I can "feel it". I mean, can't you tell by my screams???:blink: <----Ok slight exaggeration, but come on. 
I also can't stand a guy who shaves his, ummm, testes. Come on guys, just let the damn hair grow where it may. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a lotta hair fan, but I do like the natural aspect of the male genitalia.


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## Canonista (Oct 5, 2007)

mossystate said:


> *LOL*
> 
> I love me a man who loves my feet. Not talking about some guy who has a ' fetish '..just someone who knows that feet hold the key to much pleasure. So, you two girls, would you like to see a picture of an ex of mine..mouth open..arms out to the side...half of my foot in his mouth..???
> 
> I can post it if you want me too:wubu:



Oh yeah. A girl's feet are a pleasure center. I'm not really into putting them in my mouth, but giving a woman a foot massage is great foreplay.

Not letting me touch them would definitely interfere with the relationship.


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## Canonista (Oct 5, 2007)

My turn off is body hair on women. Aside from the hair on top of their heads and their eyebrows I like em' totally hairless. 

A woman bald "down there" is awesome!

I tried fooling around with a hairy woman once. When I ran my fingers up the small of her back and felt shrubbery, it was time to call it quits.


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## goofy girl (Oct 5, 2007)

People who put them selves down..whether it's to get a compliment, or whatever. It's a total turn off


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## BigBeautifulMe (Oct 5, 2007)

Men who focus on my fat to the exclusion of everything else. For me, this is what separates real FAs from fetishists. I love that I turn you on. But make love to ME, and not my fat.

If you're getting it on with my fat, and I'm completely uninvolved, suffice it to say I'm no longer interested.


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## Santaclear (Oct 5, 2007)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Men who focus on my fat to the exclusion of everything else. For me, this is what separates real FAs from fetishists. I love that I turn you on. But make love to ME, and not my fat.
> 
> If you're getting it on with my fat, and I'm completely uninvolved, suffice it to say I'm no longer interested.



What about a double date, where one guy (the fetishist) dates the fat and the other one dates you? They could sit on either side of you and the three of you watch a movie and make out.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 5, 2007)

Seth Warren said:


> I am imagining that right now and laughing maniacally.



You are so hot :batting:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 5, 2007)

I have to say that one of my biggest turn-offs is when I overcome my inhibitions, finally feel like having sex, get excited by the idea of having sex, tell my man how to please me.....and he ignores me because....he thinks he knows better than me what I like.......


oh, I found the cure for this though....wait until it's "over" and then ask him if he's finished. Then proceed to masturbate while he watches


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## daddyoh70 (Oct 5, 2007)

Violet_Beauregard said:


> Having the TV on.... especially something with laughter... or sports... or news.... MAJOR distraction.



I'm right with you on that one, it's too much like having someone else in the room.



mossystate said:


> Ummm..when you first say hi to them..do not turn my nipples as if you are trying to crack a safe...k?



Are there really guys that still do that????


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## Carrie (Oct 6, 2007)

Santaclear said:


> What about a double date, where one guy (the fetishist) dates the fat and the other one dates you? They could sit on either side of you and the three of you watch a movie and make out.


Seriously, we need a "LOL" smiley because I hate writing LOL; I feel like a lameoid, but I actually am LOL-ing at this. It's quite the pickle. 

OH THE HUMANITY!!!!!!


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## Friday (Oct 6, 2007)

Forget sex, I can't even talk to people with bad teeth. Not meaning people whose choppers are not like perfect little Chiclets in their mouths (not all our folks could afford braces), and not even people (like me) who's natural teeth are not sparkling white. I'm talking about people that look like they have fuzzy teeth, or show visible signs of decay and/or big gaping holes where teeth are missing.

There's one guy that hangs down at da joint, he's young, single and makes good money, but he has like 4 teeth in his head. Ick.


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## Zandoz (Oct 6, 2007)

My biggest sexual turnoff? Me.


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## Canonista (Oct 6, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> oh, I found the cure for this though....wait until it's "over" and then ask him if he's finished. Then proceed to masturbate while he watches



So basically what you're saying is that everyone wins!


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## Canonista (Oct 6, 2007)

Friday said:


> There's one guy that hangs down at da joint, he's young, single and makes good money, but he has like 4 teeth in his head. Ick.



He's just being frugal and saving money on toothpaste, which leaves him more to spend on you!


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## Friday (Oct 6, 2007)

He's not got a patch on Mr F but he drives me nuts because he's a good looking, intelligent kid until he smiles. One of these days I'm going to have one beer too many and tell him what a turn off it is.


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## PrettyKitty (Oct 6, 2007)

Biggest sexual turn-off? Hmm...maybe body odor and bad breath. I don't mind if he has that manly smell, like musky, but when it smells like he's rolled around in an onion patch while chomping on one? Uh, no.


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## DUBLINDA (Oct 6, 2007)

Im with Ruby and Soup on this one too - - - Do not touch my feet and do not expect me to touch or even look at yours. eeeuuuggghhh Can someone pass me the sick bucket!!!


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## CleverBomb (Oct 6, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I have to say that one of my biggest turn-offs is when I overcome my inhibitions, finally feel like having sex, get excited by the idea of having sex, tell my man how to please me.....and he ignores me because....he thinks he knows better than me what I like.......
> 
> 
> oh, I found the cure for this though....wait until it's "over" and then ask him if he's finished. Then proceed to masturbate while he watches


um. That last sentance? You're in the wrong thread -- this is supposed to be the "turn-_offs_ thread. ;-)

-Rusty


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## goofy girl (Oct 6, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I have to say that one of my biggest turn-offs is when I overcome my inhibitions, finally feel like having sex, get excited by the idea of having sex, tell my man how to please me.....and he ignores me because....he thinks he knows better than me what I like.......
> 
> 
> oh, I found the cure for this though....*wait until it's "over"* and then ask him if he's finished. *Then proceed to masturbate while he watches *



hmmm..that's how sex usually ends for me anyway. :huh:


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## Stoner (Oct 6, 2007)

The dog watching... that has to be biggest turn-off for me. It's not funny having to get up in the middle of the action, to drag the dog out of the bedroom 'cause it was just sitting there, staring... giving that judging look... not funny at all.


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## ekmanifest (Oct 6, 2007)

Stoner said:


> The dog watching... that has to be biggest turn-off for me. It's not funny having to get up in the middle of the action, to drag the dog out of the bedroom 'cause it was just sitting there, staring... giving that judging look... not funny at all.



Guilty of not always being able to keep the dog out of the bedroom.


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## Deryk Shane (Oct 6, 2007)

Fingernails in the back.

Usually means I'm doing it right, but it kills my mood, though.

Deryk Shane


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## BigBeautifulMe (Oct 6, 2007)

Santaclear said:


> What about a double date, where one guy (the fetishist) dates the fat and the other one dates you? They could sit on either side of you and the three of you watch a movie and make out.


I don't know whether to laugh or cry.


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## mejix (Oct 6, 2007)

self absorbed partners. the sexually autistic. 


*


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## ScreamingChicken (Oct 6, 2007)

Stoner said:


> The dog watching... that has to be biggest turn-off for me. It's not funny having to get up in the middle of the action, to drag the dog out of the bedroom 'cause it was just sitting there, staring... giving that judging look... not funny at all.



It's when they hold up the placard showing the score that does it for me.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 6, 2007)

Canonista said:


> So basically what you're saying is that everyone wins!




No, I'm saying he's an asshole


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 6, 2007)

CleverBomb said:


> um. That last sentance? You're in the wrong thread -- this is supposed to be the "turn-_offs_ thread. ;-)
> 
> -Rusty



lol- that's to let him see what he COULD have had....instead of the uninterested person I was until then


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 6, 2007)

goofy ssbbw said:


> hmmm..that's how sex usually ends for me anyway. :huh:




I firmly believe in guilting the men in my life


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## CAMellie (Oct 6, 2007)

LONG fingernails...men or women...that are snaggily or unkempt. You are NOT touching me with those. I'll cut you...I swear!


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 6, 2007)

CAMellie said:


> LONG fingernails...men or women...that are snaggily or unkempt. You are NOT touching me with those. I'll cut you...I swear!



*attacks Mellie with tweezers*:smitten:


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## CAMellie (Oct 6, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> *attacks Mellie with tweezers*:smitten:



Oh god, baby, yeah....tweeeeeeeze me!!! :wubu:


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## liz (di-va) (Oct 6, 2007)

The pet thing always makes me laugh hysterically. I dunno if it's a turn-off, though...


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## thisgirl (Oct 6, 2007)

someone who claims that having sex with them will be a "life altering experience" -- YA RIGHT.


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## BothGunsBlazing (Oct 6, 2007)

oh and not really that bad, but there is something really funny to me about stripping completely naked with some one and not taking off the socks .. and I'm not sure why, but it always makes me giggle. and that in itself can't be erotic.


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## Seth Warren (Oct 6, 2007)

thisgirl said:


> someone who claims that having sex with them will be a "life altering experience" -- YA RIGHT.




Yeah, because the only time that is true is if you bone someone with an incurable STD and take no precautions.


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## CleverBomb (Oct 7, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> lol- that's to let him see what he COULD have had....instead of the uninterested person I was until then


You're meeeen.
Heh.

-Rusty


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## chocolate desire (Oct 7, 2007)

Call me weird(I know most of you do already ) My biggest turn off is to MUCH foreplay!! When I want IT I want it NOW.
Oh and for all you smoking single men .. I don't smoke but I love to kiss a man that smokes. I had one guy that knew this and would light up and I knew that was a sign that he was about to lay a good kiss on me.
R.I.P Starman I do miss ya.


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## chocolate desire (Oct 7, 2007)

Santaclear said:


> What about a double date, where one guy (the fetishist) dates the fat and the other one dates you? They could sit on either side of you and the three of you watch a movie and make out.



Why did this make me giggle? Only you and Joy know the answer.


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## Ernest Nagel (Oct 7, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I firmly believe in guilting the men in my life


 
Guilt is a huge turn-off for me sexually and every other way. Unfortunately I have often managed to attract passive/aggressive women who quickly learn to play my tightly strung guilt strings like a Stradivarius. Making some progress here but still much ground to take.


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## goofy girl (Oct 7, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I firmly believe in guilting the men in my life



Oh, mine isn't for guilt..it's because I really want to get off! LOL


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## Jack Skellington (Oct 7, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Ummm..when you first say hi to them..do not turn my nipples as if you are trying to crack a safe...k?



You ever watch men with a TV remote? They're very impatient and the channels fly by at a dizzying pace. They're probably just trying to see what's on the other station.



Tina said:


> Mine is, without a moment's hesitation, a guy who whines. It takes away his manhood in my eyes and reduces him to a baby. Can't help it, it is a visceral, uncontrollable response in me.



Why would you say that? That is sooooo mean. That realllly hurt my feelings. _Pout, cry, whimper._


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## Tina (Oct 7, 2007)

Awww, there, there, Jacky.




Now, WWSD in this situation?


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## Blue_Rainbow3 (Oct 7, 2007)

puppy said:


> Weird sex sounds. Don't get me wrong, I love sex sounds, but unusual weird sounds or weird phrases in bed really kill it for me. For example, I dated this guy who would roar LIKE A LION when he came! The first time, I was alarmed as I thought he was hurt! I referred to him to my friends as "The Wild Beast of the Jungle". Geez.



I dated one guy who would say "I'm Sorry" every time he came. Talk about a turn off, we didn't last long. 

Another big turn off, talking about your health problems. I can't see you as a sexual being when you're telling me about how you dropped your cholesterol 5 points and how you're borderline diabetic.


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 7, 2007)

Blue_Rainbow3 said:


> I dated one guy who would say "I'm Sorry" every time he came. Talk about a turn off, we didn't last long.



WTF? What was he apologizing for? You're right -- that would be a huge, huge turnoff for me too.

My turn-off: I hate being woken up from a deep, comfortable, blissful sleep ... for ANY reason.


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## goofy girl (Oct 7, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> My turn-off: I hate being woken up from a deep, comfortable, blissful sleep ... for ANY reason.



ME TOO! I can't believe some people ENJOY that! I get so mad LOL


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## Tina (Oct 7, 2007)

Okay, but have you ever had it happen that you reach over in your sleep and start fondling your partner? They fondle back and you both wake up to being in the middle of it? Kinda surreal, and not bad, I have to say. But yeah, being woken up with any regularity for that in the middle of the night would be irritating. Especially since sometimes when I get up in the middle of the night my brain turns on and there's nothing to be done for it. Get up to pee and I'm up for 2-3 hours, trying to mellow enough to go back to sleep. :blink:


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## Shosh (Oct 7, 2007)

Mine are, Smoking  That is a big no no. A man must also know how to kiss and kiss well or he will be shown the door.


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## liz (di-va) (Oct 7, 2007)

Blue_Rainbow3 said:


> I dated one guy who would say "I'm Sorry" every time he came. Talk about a turn off, we didn't last long.



this made me giggle...still is. hehehehehehehhehe. like...apologizing after hiccupping. ahahahahahahahaha too funny.


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## mossystate (Oct 7, 2007)

Unless the guy was shooting off tooooooo quickly?...which, if it was often...the apologies should have been replaced with therapy of some sort...heh..


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## liz (di-va) (Oct 7, 2007)

Sorry. Err, sorry. Gah--sorry.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 7, 2007)

Ernest Nagel said:


> Guilt is a huge turn-off for me sexually and every other way. Unfortunately I have often managed to attract passive/aggressive women who quickly learn to play my tightly strung guilt strings like a Stradivarius. Making some progress here but still much ground to take.



My original post started with something that HE did that turned me off...so if we get to this point, then I really don't care if I turned him off- I actually hope I do


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 7, 2007)

goofy ssbbw said:


> Oh, mine isn't for guilt..it's because I really want to get off! LOL



That's why I masturbate...and let him watch. That turns me on more than a person that doesn't listen


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## Blue_Rainbow3 (Oct 7, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Unless the guy was shooting off tooooooo quickly?...which, if it was often...the apologies should have been replaced with therapy of some sort...heh..



Up until that point the sex was good. I do think therapy would have been appropriate. Putting on my armchair psychologist hat, I think it was guilt over being a teen parent. I didn't stick around to ask.

I can laugh about it now, well I did kind of laugh about it then with my girlfriends.


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## Mindee (Oct 7, 2007)

I like both ladies & guys, and it's the same thing..a lover who's ears don't work. And I'm NOT talking about deafness.


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## Mindee (Oct 7, 2007)

Susannah said:


> Mine are, Smoking  That is a big no no.


I agree..Smoking is SO vile!


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## Canonista (Oct 8, 2007)

Pepper spray is a huge turn off, too. Man I hate that! :doh:


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## Suze (Oct 8, 2007)

bad breath and poor hygiene in general


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## liz (di-va) (Oct 8, 2007)

Sorry. Whoops, sorry. Excuse--sorry. Pardon me...sorry!


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## supersoup (Oct 8, 2007)

liz (di-va) said:


> Sorry. Whoops, sorry. Excuse--sorry. Pardon me...sorry!



forgiven!

sorry, i said that sort of brashly.

sorry.

:blush:


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## liz (di-va) (Oct 8, 2007)

supersoup said:


> forgiven!
> sorry, i said that sort of brashly.
> sorry.
> :blush:




let it out, girl! OOo! (_sorry!_)


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## elle camino (Oct 8, 2007)

Ruby Ripples said:


> The mere suggestion of sucking my toes, ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Stay AWAY from my feet completely!!



how did i miss this thread completely for like a week?

anyways kind of still on the foot topic: i once broke up with a guy (i hadn't been seeing him for long at all, like maybe two or three weeks) because he was into feet. not like super nutso into them but still, it was a thing for him. and our breakup conversation went something like this:

him: it's not that big of a deal! i just like to look at feet! at least i only want to look at YOUR feet!

me: but that's kind of the thing! i have honestly tried over the past two weeks or so and i am sorry but i cannot get comfortable with all that scrutiny of my feet. it's too much pressure, seriously. i'm sorry. no matter what you say, i know you're going to be looking at my feet a lot and i can't keep them up to standard all the time. it will bug the shit out of me. i need a guy who will not even notice when my feet are crusty and gross. 
(plus your record collection is terrible and you live really far from my place and i don't like your haircut*)

him: yeah ok. 

me: <3.


* denotes things i did not actually say out loud.


----------



## CleverBomb (Oct 8, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> My original post started with something that HE did that turned me off...so if we get to this point, then I really don't care if I turned him off- I actually hope I do



Allow me to reiterate...



CleverBomb said:


> You're meeeen.
> Heh.
> 
> -Rusty


(Ceiling Cat is Watching Me Reiterate)


----------



## djfiam23 (Oct 8, 2007)

What turns me off? Not much.....except maybe death and taxes.


----------



## GWARrior (Oct 8, 2007)

I hate morning sex. I usually feel gross and smelly when I wake up, and I have bad breath. We can shower together and thats all good... but right when we wake up? EW.

When i was with my ex, as soon as we were done having sex he would ask, every single time... Did you cum?

it was really really annoying!


----------



## Canonista (Oct 8, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> That's why I masturbate...and let him watch. That turns me on more than a person that doesn't listen



If you really want to put him on the spot for poor performance, hand him your vibrator, point to where it needs to go, and say "okay now finish me."


----------



## Jes (Oct 8, 2007)

Blue_Rainbow3 said:


> I dated one guy who would say "I'm Sorry" every time he came. Talk about a turn off, we didn't last long.
> 
> .



oh, NO. That is not right.


----------



## GeorgeNL (Oct 8, 2007)

Turn-off? If I knew a turn on....


----------



## Jes (Oct 8, 2007)

elle camino said:


> (plus your record collection is terrible
> 
> ]



yeah, but you should have seen his foot collection!!


----------



## Shala (Oct 8, 2007)

The guy that gets down there and immediately starts with "Did you cum yet? Did you? Did you cum yet? Cum baby. Cum for me baby. Did you cum Yet?"

Holy crap.....shut up!!! I will never get there with all that. Damn.


----------



## Dibaby35 (Oct 8, 2007)

God this thread cracks me up..

But really number one..body odor..number two...bad breath..

Other turn offs..lets see..guys who don't even know what foreplay is...guys that think that taking your hand and putting it on his dick is a good enough sign that he wants sex..lol..hair on the ass..gag gag..ummm...i think thats about it..I can work with just about anything else..lol

oh god just thought of another one...guys who CONSTANTLY touch your boobs..OMG..leave them alone sometimes..


----------



## TraciJo67 (Oct 8, 2007)

Shala said:


> The guy that gets down there and immediately starts with "Did you cum yet? Did you? Did you cum yet? Cum baby. Cum for me baby. Did you cum Yet?"
> 
> Holy crap.....shut up!!! I will never get there with all that. Damn.



   

I dated a guy who screamed like a girl during orgasm ... and make these strange clucking/strangled noises just before getting there. It was incredibly off-putting. At first, I had to try and hold back incredulous laughter ... and then, I could never relax and let go with him because I just KNEW he was going to start clucking and screaming. 

THAT didn't end our relationship, though. Finding out that he was fantasizing that I was a man WHILE he was clucking and screaming did  (yeah, I can laugh about it, many years later).


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 8, 2007)

CleverBomb said:


> Allow me to reiterate...
> 
> 
> (Ceiling Cat is Watching Me Reiterate)




Oh sweetness.....I'm glad to see we got that part straight


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 8, 2007)

Canonista said:


> If you really want to put him on the spot for poor performance, hand him your vibrator, point to where it needs to go, and say "okay now finish me."



Nah.....I could probably do that better than him, too


----------



## Tina (Oct 8, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> ... I could never relax and let go with him because I just KNEW he was going to start clucking and screaming.



Clucking and screaming? Positively hilarious, Traci.  I think that would be too distracting for me, too.


----------



## liz (di-va) (Oct 8, 2007)

Shala said:


> The guy that gets down there and immediately starts with "Did you cum yet? Did you? Did you cum yet? Cum baby. Cum for me baby. Did you cum Yet?"
> Holy crap.....shut up!!! I will never get there with all that. Damn.



OKay, I gotta put my hands in the air and agree with that one. All that pseudo-considerate "are-we-there-yet?" talk...feels like it's usually code for "I-don't-wanna-do-this/make-it-worth-my-time/can-we-switch-places-yet?" If a guy really wants to be there...he doesn't ask that so much/in that way.


----------



## mossystate (Oct 8, 2007)

Yeah..the whole obsession with whether or not I had an orgasm..ack. Many, many moons back, I would add a bit of tabasco to my finale, because the man had this obsession. I guess if you are not sounding like some lame porn...you must not be a real woman...having real O's. Ummmmm, I have to concentrate at times, and, takes away from the sensation if I am worried if my whimpers are of a high enough pitch for you.....yeah..YOU...lol...I know, he does not chat here...don't even know where he lives.

I would second or third or whatever the mentioning CLEAN and SHORT nails!!!

Oh, and I like my pubic hair, so, if this is a problem for you...don't really care..and may I show you something lovely in a door?

And, swallow every now and then so I don't get geysers of saliva when I kiss you..thanks.


----------



## liz (di-va) (Oct 8, 2007)

I guess I should say, to make it clear, that I'm not unsympathetic about what can be the baffling array female sexual responses out there--a guy could be kinda lost without some feedback--but I'm talkin about the dudes who are in effect...looking at their watches.


----------



## Tina (Oct 8, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Oh, and I like my pubic hair, so, if this is a problem for you...don't really care..and may I show you something lovely in a door?



You know what gets me? When a guy thinks women should shave or wax their lady bits, but they won't do it to themselves. Now, I'm no fan of pre-pubescent-looking genitals, so it's not like I want the guy to do it. But if you're going to go on about it, okay, I'll shave or wax, but you, first. So far, it hasn't been a problem.  I am in favor of a trim, though I'm lucky enough not to have a thick jungle down there, or have it try to escape down my thighs, like a friend of mine did. She hated it and I couldn't blame her. Too much is too much.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Oct 8, 2007)

Tina said:


> You know what gets me? When a guy thinks women should shave or wax their lady bits, but they won't do it to themselves. Now, I'm no fan of pre-pubescent-looking genitals, so it's not like I want the guy to do it. But if you're going to go on about it, okay, I'll shave or wax, but you, first. So far, it hasn't been a problem.  I am in favor of a trim, though I'm lucky enough not to have a thick jungle down there, or have it try to escape down my thighs, like a friend of mine did. She hated it and I couldn't blame her. Too much is too much.



I agree, Tina -- it creeps me out to think of having no hair at all ... like a child. I do understand that lots of men & women prefer this and I don't think there is anything wrong with it. It's just not for me. OTOH, I really hate a lot of hair ... on me, and on my partner. I have to keep myself neatly trimmed and certain areas waxed. Speaking of waxing .... my GOD does it hurt ... and I can't imagine getting a brazilian. OUCH. OUCH OUCH OUCH. I think I'd almost rather go through major surgery. Without being knocked out


----------



## Miss Vickie (Oct 8, 2007)

Friday said:


> There's one guy that hangs down at da joint, he's young, single and makes good money, but he has like 4 teeth in his head. Ick.



And he's probably wondering why he can't get laid. *shiver shiver throw up in my mouth shiver shiver*


----------



## BLUEeyedBanshee (Oct 8, 2007)

Smoking is a biggie for me. Blah...hate it.

Also, close mindedness accompanied by a big mouth. (deadly combo)

Oh and one more thing...when my sex drive is a lot higher than his. i don't mind being awakened at night, and I want someone that doesn't mind being awakened either...

glad I finally got him.


----------



## Fuzzy (Oct 8, 2007)

Just body odor. Nothing a quick shower can't fix.  (yeah, i know, but that garlic smell is a turn ON )


----------



## mango (Oct 9, 2007)

*Long fingernails.

Man hands.

Ugly toes / crooked feet.

 *


----------



## Jack Skellington (Oct 9, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Oh, and I like my pubic hair



We are all happy to hear this.


----------



## hot'n fluffy (Oct 9, 2007)

toes are so yummy!!!
they taste like bacon!!!:eat2: 

LOL!!!!!



Ruby Ripples said:


> The mere suggestion of sucking my toes, ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Stay AWAY from my feet completely!!


----------



## hot'n fluffy (Oct 9, 2007)

A female that prays before sex!!

yup, I dated this chick that was a major bible thumper, and before we had sex (no sex before marriage non-withstanding) she always had to pray for God to bless our union... 

nevermind the fact that we committed several sins while having sex, when it was time for her to orgasm, she just kept on screaming "thank you Jesus"!!!

shitting you not...

still creeps me out to think about it...

now, her sister was a big freak in bed, but she had to go too.

all she liked was rear entry, and that gets old...


----------



## Shosh (Oct 9, 2007)

mango said:


> *Long fingernails.
> 
> Man hands.
> 
> ...



I don't like long fingernails on guys. They give me the creeps.


----------



## Butterbelly (Oct 9, 2007)

I hate it when a guy is super quiet and you have no idea if he's actually had an orgasm or not....no sounds, no facial expressions = dull and totally boring.


----------



## themadhatter (Oct 9, 2007)

Finding out afterwards that she used to be, or still is a he. That's a pretty big mood killer there. Really, I mean, it happened once to this guy I know...err...umm. Gotta go!


----------



## mossystate (Oct 9, 2007)

Jack Skellington said:


> We are all happy to hear this.



Hey, if I have to see you talk about your dolls..well.....heh


----------



## Wagimawr (Oct 9, 2007)

Butterbelly said:


> I hate it when a guy is super quiet and you have no idea if he's actually had an orgasm or not....no sounds, no facial expressions = dull and totally boring.


No sounds, maybe, but how does someone at least not smile? :blink:


----------



## mossystate (Oct 9, 2007)

Marg..I am with you on this one..men who never make a peep until you hear a bit of a strained grunt...just beyond bad. I don't want a constant orchestra, but, please let me know every now and then that you are enjoying yourself and not just working on a release.


----------



## Jack Skellington (Oct 9, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Hey, if I have to see you talk about your dolls..well.....heh



I just got the new Halloween Barbie, so don't even get me started.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 9, 2007)

Butterbelly said:


> I hate it when a guy is super quiet and you have no idea if he's actually had an orgasm or not....no sounds, no facial expressions = dull and totally boring.




Makes me want to slap him....HARD...just to see if he reacts.....


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 9, 2007)

hot'n fluffy said:


> A female that prays before sex!!
> 
> yup, I dated this chick that was a major bible thumper, and before we had sex (no sex before marriage non-withstanding) she always had to pray for God to bless our union...
> 
> ...




A guy that I used to work with dated a girl like that- except she did the praying to "forgive their sin" afterwards......
She did this every time...repeatedly.....over and over.......:blink: 


Worst part is that he came and told us all about it ..and then we got to know her....and we all liked her.........and they eventually got married.....whilst we all knew this about them :doh:


----------



## Keb (Oct 10, 2007)

I have to confess that I'm baffled and slightly bothered by these girls who are praying like that...

I mean, if you really believe that you shouldn't be having sex (ie, because you're not married yet), um...Don't? 

It may not be easy, but it's not impossible to live by what you actually believe in. 

There's a reason it's weird. It sounds freaky to someone who is Christian (and chaste for that matter). It's one thing to slip up once or twice and then feel the need to pray for forgiveness...it's quite another to conciously decide to do something you know (or believe) is wrong, repeatedly, and then figure praying will make it all better. It also doesn't strike me as very likely that God is going to go "Oh, you said hi to me first/during/after, okay, you don't have to worry about STDs/pregnancy/heartbreak then." Yeah. Sure he's going to do that.


----------



## mossystate (Oct 10, 2007)

I would bet that most of the young women ( and probably a few young men ) who are praying before/during/after sex are doing so because they have never been allowed or encouraged to fully make their own choices for their lives. The guilt over doing something you desire, but having been told you are a ' better ' person if you don't..well, that is a huge and ugly burden. It is sad that a person would feel they did something bad, simply by finding pleasure. The trying to convince yourself of living a life that simply does not suit you...ack. Now, people who go after those who are confused..ummm..that is pretty disgusting as well.


----------



## Keb (Oct 10, 2007)

I'm not trying to lambast anyone who is honestly confused. I'm saying try to figure it out first and stick with what you figure out, rather than trying to do both simultaneously. The cognitive dissonance alone must be giving them headaches.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Oct 10, 2007)

mossystate said:


> I would bet that most of the young women ( and probably a few young men ) who are praying before/during/after sex are doing so because they have never been allowed or encouraged to fully make their own choices for their lives. The guilt over doing something you desire, but having been told you are a ' better ' person if you don't..well, that is a huge and ugly burden. It is sad that a person would feel they did something bad, simply by finding pleasure. The trying to convince yourself of living a life that simply does not suit you...ack. Now, people who go after those who are confused..ummm..that is pretty disgusting as well.



Hell, the only time I ever DO pray is during orgasm. And you can be sure that I'm not asking for forgiveness


----------



## CeCe the Porky Princess! (Oct 10, 2007)

Submissive men especially ones that dress is womens clothing.


----------



## Dibaby35 (Oct 10, 2007)

Susannah said:


> I don't like long fingernails on guys. They give me the creeps.




Long fingernails on a guy just isn't creepy its fricken painful!..I've made a guy go trim..LOL


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 10, 2007)

CeCe the Porky Princess! said:


> Submissive men especially ones that dress is womens clothing.




I always want to beat them and deny them sex forever....is that wrong of me?


----------



## mossystate (Oct 10, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> Hell, the only time I ever DO pray is during orgasm. And you can be sure that I'm not asking for forgiveness



*L*..yeah, and I might as well be calling out to Casper..


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 10, 2007)

Sexual inhibition....a silent lover...make some noise, damn you.

Too soft touching....too feathery is just irritating.....


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 10, 2007)

also.......if he poops in my purse.

Man..I hate that.


----------



## Les Toil (Oct 10, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> also.......if he poops in my purse.
> 
> Man..I hate that.



OK, you're coming here to clean up the de-caf that just flew out of my nose on to my keyboard.


----------



## mossystate (Oct 10, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> also.......if he poops in my purse.
> 
> Man..I hate that.



And if he had done it in his pants, you would have been just as judgemental.

Although, if he had prayed over it, maybe you would have forgiven him...I like to think you are kind like that...


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 10, 2007)

mossystate said:


> And if he had done it in his pants, you would have been just as judgemental.
> 
> Although, if he had prayed over it, maybe you would have forgiven him...I like to think you are kind like that...




Twisted little monkey...I like you so.


----------



## Jack Skellington (Oct 10, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> also.......if he poops in my purse.
> 
> Man..I hate that.



You have to understand some men just have serious dominance issues. He was probably just trying to mark his territory.


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 10, 2007)

Jack Skellington said:


> You have to understand some men just have serious dominance issues. He was probably just trying to mark his territory.




Hey...I LIKE serious domination issues......I just like them expressed.....um...differently.


----------



## Santaclear (Oct 10, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Hey...I LIKE serious domination issues......I just like them expressed.....um...differently.



I still don't see what's wrong with pooping in your purse. I think it's cute.


----------



## GenericGeek (Oct 10, 2007)

Retrograde ejaculation.

I was once on a medication that had this delightful little side-effect...

Basically, it's when a guy's cum goes backwards, into his bladder, instead of spooging out his urethra, as Nature intended. And it HURTS like hell! 

Talk about a buzz-kill. Yet I've read that some sexual Tantriks actually trained themselves to do it, in order to "conserve pran (Energy)."

No, thanks!


----------



## TraciJo67 (Oct 10, 2007)

GenericGeek said:


> Retrograde ejaculation.
> 
> I was once on a medication that had this delightful little side-effect...
> 
> ...



God. I had to be eating mushroom bisque soup while reading this, didn't I?


----------



## mossystate (Oct 10, 2007)

Oh great...was just about to whip up a batch of tapioca for lunch....this thread is going to be a great diet aide..skinny Monique, here I come!..ooops..cum..gotta stay in net mode...


----------



## Santaclear (Oct 10, 2007)

Ejaculation that spontaneously combusts.


----------



## Santaclear (Oct 10, 2007)

Sorry, Mossy.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Oct 10, 2007)

Santaclear said:


> Ejaculation that spontaneously combusts.



Touche, sir. Touche.


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 10, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Oh great...was just about to whip up a batch of tapioca for lunch....this thread is going to be a great diet aide..skinny Monique, here I come!..ooops..cum..gotta stay in net mode...




I HATE THAT WORD! "cum".........Thats a turn off!

"come" or orgasm....."cum" just freaks me out....

ew.


----------



## Tina (Oct 10, 2007)

I like "arrive," personally.


----------



## Canonista (Oct 10, 2007)

Pain is a turn off. Claws into my back make me go limp INSTANTLY. Biting into my shoulder or neck while she's having her orgasm will stop me dead in my tracks, too.

Pain and sex do not belong in the same room. Ever.


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 10, 2007)

Canonista said:


> Pain and sex do not belong in the same room. Ever.




Er.................for you.


----------



## Dibaby35 (Oct 10, 2007)

Canonista said:


> Pain is a turn off. Claws into my back make me go limp INSTANTLY. Biting into my shoulder or neck while she's having her orgasm will stop me dead in my tracks, too.
> 
> Pain and sex do not belong in the same room. Ever.



Just make sure to hint to the girl that this is the case. What I've run into is that more often or not guys like this so we forget and just think u like it so nails into the back we go...oops.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Oct 10, 2007)

I personally dislike 69 after a chili-eating contest (or Mexican dinner). A full meal and rigorous sex don't always go together.

I have dated a couple of smokers, but keep it in the general living area if you can. One woman I dated had an ashtray near her shower, I guess so she could hold it ready for her while she washed her hair. Kitchen ashtrays I also found rather odd. Even though it's a classic cliche, smoking in the bedroom isn't my thing, and the bottom line is that a heavy smoker adds a rather strong...odor to their bodily fluids. Is it the tar?

Any sexual positions that result in dislocation are bad. Nothing like hip joint go POP when things get wild.

Hygiene. Among adults, this should go without saying. Yes, you say you love the idea of hot, sweaty summer sex, but you really don't. I prefer that my nether regions not smell like a moist, hairy, dirty tube sock, and I take great pain to ensure I always smell wonderfully manly yet CLEAN. 

If I intend to experiment, as a good scientists I do my research. She should as well. All options should be explained. Ligatures need a certain amount of tension and blood flow capabilities. Blindfolds should not itch. Ben-Gay is not "Hillbilly Fun Lube", nor does it work in a pinch. 

During post-coital pillow talk (I do not sleep, I ramble, revisit and review the fun), having a woman in any way indicate you're a more talented, albeit less-endowed man than her previous tripod boyfriend is not a good thing. No man in any way (even a guy who can pick up peanuts off the floor with his cock) wants the concept of diminutiveness associated in any way with his manhood. In a weird, macho way, all men want to be able to get in you so deep that we can almost diagnose the health of your ovaries. Personally, I just want my lady to climax repeatedly.

I particularly dislike initial dates where she shares all her past conquests in detail (this happens to women, too, but I don't date guys so I can't vouch for this completely). Given the anonymity factor of online chat, this can happen quite easily. I am ashamed to admit I have done this in the past, but we were both discussing former lovers at the time, so any bidirectional discussion is acceptable. I just prefer, when sitting down to dinner with my new, attractive, lady friend that she will refrain from mentioning (at least in the first five minutes) that she's A) 4 months pregnant, B) by a guy she met at a frat party, C) who is one of four that she screwed that night and D) is still waiting for the paternity test results. Check please?

_Note: My hand to FSM, these all actually happened to me, except the Ben-Gay thing._


----------



## Ample Pie (Oct 10, 2007)

Guys who associate the potential for me to have an orgasm on the size of their penis. 

Married men who hit on me.


----------



## Jes (Oct 10, 2007)

i must be reading you wrong, AS, b/c posts of yours like this one always make it sound like you don't really like women, somehow...


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 10, 2007)

Jes said:


> i must be reading you wrong, AS, b/c posts of yours like this one always make it sound like you don't really like women, somehow...




Oh...I can vouch for this man.......(We are close friends).......

He.....adores.....women.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Oct 10, 2007)

Jes said:


> i must be reading you wrong, AS, b/c posts of yours like this one always make it sound like you don't really like women, somehow...



No, just certain women. I dislike most men, too, so I'm an equal-opportunity misanthrope.


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 10, 2007)

Delete delete deletey do..


----------



## The Obstreperous Ms. J (Oct 10, 2007)

Can I just tell you how much I love this thread.

A fantastic source of entertainment this is.


----------



## Tina (Oct 10, 2007)

Jes said:


> i must be reading you wrong, AS, b/c posts of yours like this one always make it sound like you don't really like women, somehow...


I've found him to be a well-spoken sweetheart. He just doesn't seem to like to advertise the "sweetheart" part.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Oct 10, 2007)

Tina said:


> I've found him to be a well-spoken sweetheart. He just doesn't seem to like to advertise the "sweetheart" part.



As if Superman would walk around handing out directions to kryptonite deposits  The Grinch's heart does beat, I assure you.

And my sig at the time was something I discussed on chat the other day. I put it up then upon recollection and feedback found it rather gross.


----------



## DUBLINDA (Oct 10, 2007)

Canonista said:


> Pain is a turn off.
> Pain and sex do not belong in the same room. Ever.




I like for them to belong in my room. Yes please, Thankyou and Bring it on!!!


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 10, 2007)

Les Toil said:


> OK, you're coming here to clean up the de-caf that just flew out of my nose on to my keyboard.



Only if I can wear a collar and corset while I do it.


----------



## Seth Warren (Oct 10, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Only if I can wear a collar and corset while I do it.




I think I've wandered into the wrong thread... :blink:

This is for turn-offs, right?


----------



## Tina (Oct 10, 2007)

Tomato, tomahto, Seth.


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 10, 2007)

Seth Warren said:


> I think I've wandered into the wrong thread... :blink:
> 
> This is for turn-offs, right?



You are right...I strayed...thats the good stuff.


Sorry...


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 10, 2007)

Canonista said:


> Pain is a turn off.
> Pain and sex do not belong in the same room. Ever.




Only if someone had told me this when I was younger and still impressionable......


----------



## BothGunsBlazing (Oct 10, 2007)

Pain and sex do indeed belong in the same room. I <3 fingernails digging into my back. rwar. haha. 

hm, wait, no, this is a turn off thread. did I mention skinny chicks? no? there is one. my mind does not feel like operating right now.


----------



## bexy (Oct 10, 2007)

most definitely smoking its digusting and the thing i hate most in a person!!! aside from that i depsise fake tan, and men who preen too much! i like rough and ready rockers!

xoxo


----------



## fasteddie1 (Oct 10, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> I HATE THAT WORD! "cum".........Thats a turn off!
> 
> "come" or orgasm....."cum" just freaks me out....
> 
> ew.



Yeah, it smacks of nasty porn.

I call it "cream", "seed" or semen.

It's a turn off, BTW, if a gal does not like, or at least tolerate mine.


----------



## liz (di-va) (Oct 10, 2007)

Been trying to figure out why sometimes a married flirt is bothersome and sometimes it's not, but when it is...I am just thisclose to smacking them ALL the time. If they're all cutesy and giggly and ha-ha and sweet-talking in a certain way...I can't shake the constant desire to smack em upside the head, wipe that smile off their faces. Like...please stop, I am either gonna call the police or your wife or somebody. You are not cute. But then some people...I dunno. It's fine! And the boundaries are in place! It seems to have to do with how it's approached. Or whatch I'm pickin up on. 

Isn't this...vague. Stilll don't have it that clear in my head.


----------



## Spanky (Oct 10, 2007)

Falling asleep during intercourse. gah! :doh: 

I just figured I had "it" in the comfortable, falling asleep hole. Maybe if I switched to the wakey, wakey hole.....


Now she's awake!!!


----------



## Smushygirl (Oct 10, 2007)

Ok, none of you ladies have said it so I will!

Don'tcha just hate reaching into the pants and finding a Vienna sausage? Of course, I have to keep my smile glued on, but gee whiz!

Ok, if that makes me shallow, call me "Puddle"!


----------



## TraciJo67 (Oct 10, 2007)

Smushygirl said:


> Ok, none of you ladies have said it so I will!
> 
> Don'tcha just hate reaching into the pants and finding a Vienna sausage? Of course, I have to keep my smile glued on, but gee whiz!
> 
> Ok, if that makes me shallow, call me "Puddle"!



No more than I'd hate to reach into the pants and find an eggplant. Too much is actually worse than too little. Ouch.


----------



## Britannia (Oct 10, 2007)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> did I mention skinny chicks?



You're so missing out.


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## liz (di-va) (Oct 11, 2007)

Hee! I'm confused. *checks for wodges of fat*


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## Renaissance Woman (Oct 11, 2007)

I agree about the teeth thing. Please have all of them, and have them not rotting out of your head.

One of my biggest turnoffs is bad smells. B.O., something in the room, unclean sheets, bad breath, a fart in the middle--whatever. Ew.


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## Canonista (Oct 11, 2007)

Dibaby35 said:


> Just make sure to hint to the girl that this is the case. What I've run into is that more often or not guys like this so we forget and just think u like it so nails into the back we go...oops.




Most of the guys I talk to don't like it. A few months ago there was even a several-pages long thread at a gun site I visit about it and the general concensus was that we let women do it because it's a sign that they're feeling good and not because guys want it. Frankly, I'd rather know she's enjoying herself by hearing her scream or breathe hard. 

"A little is good, a lot is not". I don't mind a girl using her nails for traction just a little, but leaving marks and/or drawing blood is not pleasant. Tilt your fingers a few degrees and leave fingerprints instead of scars!


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## Tina (Oct 11, 2007)

Britannia said:


> You're so missing out.



Not to be snarky, but I think if BGB believed that, he wouldn't be here (and so enthusiastically here, too).


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## Britannia (Oct 11, 2007)

Tina said:


> Not to be snarky, but I think if BGB believed that, he wouldn't be here (and so enthusiastically here, too).



Not quite so.

He could be here because he himself is simply a BHM, and not looking for a BBW (for lack of better terms... I didn't want to say "fat", it seems weird). Of course he is (or at least I assume so), but I like to point out that skinny girls are gorgeous and desirable, for some, too.


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## ripley (Oct 11, 2007)

Britannia said:


> Not quite so.
> 
> He could be here because he himself is simply a BHM, and not looking for a BBW (for lack of better terms... I didn't want to say "fat", it seems weird). Of course he is (or at least I assume so), but I like to point out that skinny girls are gorgeous and desirable, for some, too.



I doubt that if he lists "skinny girls" as a turn-off that that is the case. 

And just out of curiosity...are men that like skinny girls out of the closet about it? That'd be so weird, if they were.


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## Tina (Oct 11, 2007)

Britannia said:


> Not quite so.
> 
> He could be here because he himself is simply a BHM, and not looking for a BBW (for lack of better terms... I didn't want to say "fat", it seems weird). Of course he is (or at least I assume so), but I like to point out that skinny girls are gorgeous and desirable, for some, too.



Why does "fat" seem weird but "skinny" doesn't? And I didn't get the impression he is here just because he is a BHM, but that's up to BGB to say.

You might want to do some more reading here before continuing to post. Just a suggestion, so you get to know the mood and spirit of the board, because frankly, it seems to me that you are somewhat clueless in that regard. [/mod]


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## Tina (Oct 11, 2007)

BTW, as I was doing other stuff, I remembered this thread, Brittania. Scroll down to post #24. It should have the info you're looking for.


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## unfront (Oct 11, 2007)

Hmmmm...

Smoking prior to bed. (I don't smoke ciggarettes. My wive use to. I could always always tell when she would take her smoke break prior to coming to bed. Even if she brushed her teath very well for five minutes..I could still smell it and I it would be a turn off. 

Pain. I realize that some people are into it. That's cool. I am, however, not into it.

Bad Breath. 
Hairy Legs.
Jacked up teeth. (Especially if it is due to drug use.)


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## BlondeAmbition (Oct 11, 2007)

My #1 peeve is being _asked_ for a blow job. Just because my tongue's pierced doesn't mean I'm a safe bet. Trust me, if I want to, you'll definitely know!

Also any of the following:
Crooked teeth, scrawny limbs, B.O., bad breath, bad kissers, asking for anal sex (p.s. hellllllls NO), whiskey-dick, talking-vulgar, smokers, excessive body hair, small "goods" and ofcourse gropers.


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## Canonista (Oct 11, 2007)

unfront said:


> Jacked up teeth. (Especially if it is due to drug use.)



Hey, "meth mouth" is soooo hot!  

Am I the only guy curious about getting a "gummer"? Women with dentures are the one and only reason I look forward to old age.


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## Admiral_Snackbar (Oct 11, 2007)

Canonista said:


> Hey, "meth mouth" is soooo hot!
> 
> Am I the only guy curious about getting a "gummer"? Women with dentures are the one and only reason I look forward to old age.



I remember many years ago in the mid-90s while perusing the adult video store that I came across (no pun intended) a video cover entitled, I kid you not, "Toothless Bitches," and it featured several older ladies smiling a toothless, gummy smile. The plot had something to do with Russian spies, the collapse of the American economy and oh yeah, gumjobs. At least that's what the boxcover said. I didn't even think to watch it for the sideshow factor, since the cover picture told me pretty much everything I know. It could have been a Pollack painting and I still would have gotten the idea.

I realized at that point that porn was heading to an all-time low. How sadly I miscalculated, given the stuff churned up from the sewer since then.


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 11, 2007)

BlondeAmbition said:


> My #1 peeve is being _asked_ for a blow job. Just because my tongue's pierced doesn't mean I'm a safe bet. Trust me, if I want to, you'll definitely know!
> 
> Also any of the following:
> Crooked teeth, scrawny limbs, B.O., bad breath, bad kissers, asking for anal sex (p.s. hellllllls NO), whiskey-dick, talking-vulgar, smokers, excessive body hair, small "goods" and ofcourse gropers.



At the risk of being laughed at for general cluelessness .... what is whiskey-dick?


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## cold comfort (Oct 11, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> At the risk of being laughed at for general cluelessness .... what is whiskey-dick?



when a guy is so ridiculously drunk that he can't get hard. _woops._


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## mango (Oct 11, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> also.......if he poops in my purse.
> 
> Man..I hate that.



*I guess if he does that, he ain't worth shit in a handbag!!

 *


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## BlondeAmbition (Oct 11, 2007)

cold comfort said:


> when a guy is so ridiculously drunk that he can't get hard. _woops._



BANG ON Beautiful! Hahahahahahah. Thank you!


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## Paw Paw (Oct 11, 2007)

Telling me how wonderful you are, and then just laying there. And maybe my biggest is a sloppy room and/or house. If you cant even pick up behind yourself, how clean are you?

Peace,
2P.

p.s. How ya'll been?


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 11, 2007)

fasteddie1 said:


> Yeah, it smacks of nasty porn.
> 
> I call it "cream", "seed" or semen.
> 
> *It's a turn off, BTW, if a gal does not like, or at least tolerate mine.*




This goes back to the point I was originally trying to make.....listen to me and get me going because I love all that stuff, including "cream" and everything else a man likes to do...WHEN I'M FEELING RANDY  

otherwise, I'm making grocery lists in my head and hoping he finishes soon and think "cream" is nothing I want near me.

Final point: If it's better for me....it's definitely going to be a helluva better for him


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 11, 2007)

Smushygirl said:


> Ok, none of you ladies have said it so I will!
> 
> *Don'tcha just hate reaching into the pants and finding a Vienna sausag*e? Of course, I have to keep my smile glued on, but gee whiz!
> 
> Ok, if that makes me shallow, call me "Puddle"!




All I have to say to this is..............I don't eat vienna sausages...


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## Tad (Oct 11, 2007)

Renaissance Woman said:


> I agree about the teeth thing. Please have all of them, and have them not rotting out of your head.



Just out of curiosity, say a guy has somehow lost a tooth--wiped out on his bike when he was 14, bad block in a football game, whatever. Assuming that he has some sort of insert that he wears most of the time, is that OK? Or is this just a permanent off your list thing?

(purely curious because it is one of those things that could indicate a past accident rather than anything current, so what would someone in that place do?)

Regards;

-Ed
PS I'm not talking about my situation, although technically I'm down six teeth, not that anyone other than my dentist can tell (I'd make a lousy vampire, not having my upper fangs (no gap, they simply grew sideways instead of down, and were removed with surgery, so the pre-molars came in right next to the incisors), and I'm not as wise as I once was, dentally speaking)


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## themadhatter (Oct 11, 2007)

edx said:


> Just out of curiosity, say a guy has somehow lost a tooth--wiped out on his bike when he was 14, bad block in a football game, whatever. Assuming that he has some sort of insert that he wears most of the time, is that OK? Or is this just a permanent off your list thing?
> 
> (purely curious because it is one of those things that could indicate a past accident rather than anything current, so what would someone in that place do?)
> 
> ...



Ok, funny story. When my dad turned 40 he had to get full dentures. Well, afterwards he started dating this woman (couldn't stand her, and no, not because she wasn't my mom, mostly because she was anal about country music all the time), for about a year and she had NO IDEA whatsoever that he had about 4 real teeth. One day, I was 10, I mentioned something about it to her offhandedly and the look of shock on her face was priceless. Haha, I'll never forget that.

Anyway, if I had to pick some serious deal-breakers they would be, in no particular order: infidelity, smoking, and there is nothing less of a turn-off then a girl who is falling-down, crying drunk and still trying to hit on you. Ugh.


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## KnottyOne (Oct 11, 2007)

I can put up with a lot when it comes to this, but one that is a turn-off EVERYTIME is when we're really getting into it, like its getting hot and heavy and then they say hold on a sec, I want to turn off the light. WTF!? It totally kills the mood and flow of what had been happening and it really bothers me that they have so little faith that I'm not going to want to see them naked. I really dont know, that is just one thing that makes me want to bounce out of the situation everytime.


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## Canonista (Oct 11, 2007)

cold comfort said:


> when a guy is so ridiculously drunk that he can't get hard. _woops._



There are really two popular definitions. Yours is the first. The other one is being just drunk enough that a guy can get it up, but not finish.

Drunk sex has led me to the second definition, but not the first. Being unable to orgasm, but being too drunk to know when to quit and to impaired to do it well can make for a miserable experience for a woman.


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## fasteddie1 (Oct 11, 2007)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> I remember many years ago in the mid-90s while perusing the adult video store that I came across (no pun intended) a video cover entitled, I kid you not, "Toothless Bitches," and it featured several older ladies smiling a toothless, gummy smile. The plot had something to do with Russian spies, the collapse of the American economy and oh yeah, gumjobs. At least that's what the boxcover said. I didn't even think to watch it for the sideshow factor, since the cover picture told me pretty much everything I know. It could have been a Pollack painting and I still would have gotten the idea.
> 
> I realized at that point that porn was heading to an all-time low. How sadly I miscalculated, given the stuff churned up from the sewer since then.



I once knew a gal who turned tricks for a living. She wore dentures, and there were occasions when she removed them. 

I've also encountered methamphetamine addicts. It's not just they have no teeth. They look like they're in the last stages of radiation sickness.


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## Santaclear (Oct 11, 2007)

Bagel pussy. :bow:


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## fasteddie1 (Oct 11, 2007)

What I don't like is going through a lot of trouble to get somebody off, then they roll away. I don't mean just once in awhile; I mean consistently.

Then, I hear, we never have sex anymore. Well, try participating!


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 11, 2007)

Santaclear said:


> Bagel pussy. :bow:



A word association game, Santa? Cool.

rolodex penis


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## Renaissance Woman (Oct 11, 2007)

edx said:


> Just out of curiosity, say a guy has somehow lost a tooth--wiped out on his bike when he was 14, bad block in a football game, whatever. Assuming that he has some sort of insert that he wears most of the time, is that OK? Or is this just a permanent off your list thing?
> 
> (purely curious because it is one of those things that could indicate a past accident rather than anything current, so what would someone in that place do?)


I fully acknowledge there are circumstances beyond one's control that can lead to tooth loss. There are also thousands of fine dental professionals that can fix the problem with some sort of replacement. So yeah, an insert is fine. It's a long-term no-tooth situation that not only looks unattractive, but is indicative of an overall lack of proper health maintenance and hygiene.


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## Shosh (Oct 11, 2007)

One for the add on. I hate thongs on guys! No, no and no, on so many levels. Thongs on guys are not masculine.They make a man look like a sissy. Boxer shorts do the trick, or just walk around in jeans and shirtless and rip em off! 

'Tis like Mommie Dearest said, " No thongs on guys ever!"


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## Tooz (Oct 11, 2007)

fasteddie1 said:


> It's a turn off, BTW, if a gal does not like, or at least tolerate mine.



Okay, here's the deal. This reminded me of a major turn-off for me.

TURN-OFF: When a guy acts like his ... emissions ... are the nectar of the Gods. It's not. In the past, if I were to get some on me, I'd not say anything and just run off to quickly clean (I'm better about it now), and guys would act all hurt. What the hell? I'm sorry you can't handle that I don't want that on my body?


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## Seth Warren (Oct 11, 2007)

Tooz said:


> TURN-OFF: When a guy acts like his ... emissions ... are the nectar of the Gods. It's not. In the past, if I were to get some on me, I'd not say anything and just run off to quickly clean (I'm better about it now), and guys would act all hurt. What the hell? I'm sorry you can't handle that I don't want that on my body?




I often wish I could make my "emissions" taste like chocolate syrup or something. I'm well aware that such things are not possible at the moment, which is why I don't press for any woman willing to go down on me to play catch if she doesn't want to. Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't it state in the Kama Sutra that it is poor form to not warn your lover if you are about to ejaculate during a blow job?


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 11, 2007)

Tooz said:


> Okay, here's the deal. This reminded me of a major turn-off for me.
> 
> TURN-OFF: When a guy acts like his ... emissions ... are the nectar of the Gods. It's not. In the past, if I were to get some on me, I'd not say anything and just run off to quickly clean (I'm better about it now), and guys would act all hurt. What the hell? I'm sorry you can't handle that I don't want that on my body?



Well, I wouldn't want to bathe in it. Or, for that matter, seductively rub it into my skin as if it were a $50 bottle of Elizabeth Arden moisturizer. But getting a bit of the ... emissions ... on us is kind of an occupational hazard, don't you think? To me, it's really no big deal, and I have to admit that I'd feel very hurt if my partner felt the need to immediately wash my ... emissions ... from his body, or was visibly grossed out by them. It would seem to be a rejection of, quite literally, a part of who I am. 

Then again, I know that it's not a simple matter for you, either. Your preferences are yours, aren't likely to change, and you probably couldn't change them, even if you wanted to. It's just that you seem to be making it more about an eccentricity of your partner (i.e, a sarcastic "I'm sorry you can't handle that I don't want that on my body") rather than one of your own.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Oct 11, 2007)

Tooz said:


> Okay, here's the deal. This reminded me of a major turn-off for me.
> 
> TURN-OFF: When a guy acts like his ... emissions ... are the nectar of the Gods. It's not. In the past, if I were to get some on me, I'd not say anything and just run off to quickly clean (I'm better about it now), and guys would act all hurt. What the hell? I'm sorry you can't handle that I don't want that on my body?



Well, Tooz, you may noy like the emissions but it is a part of the intercourse/oral sex experience. Of course a man is going to be insulted - it's not dirty it's just a part of the whole deal.

If a man was grossed out by my emissions (women ejaculate too) I'd be highly insulted and never see him again. And don't even get me started on guys who think giving oral sex to a woman is dirty.

Our society as a whole is still way too hung up sexually for me.

What is my biggest turn-off? A man who is not fun and adventurous in bed - or the kitchen - or the car - or the back yard................


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## Admiral_Snackbar (Oct 11, 2007)

Tooz said:


> TURN-OFF: When a guy acts like his ... emissions ... are the nectar of the Gods. It's not. In the past, if I were to get some on me, I'd not say anything and just run off to quickly clean (I'm better about it now), and guys would act all hurt. What the hell? I'm sorry you can't handle that I don't want that on my body?


 This was always a peeve of mine. If oral ingestion of some kind is going to take place, a man should, at some point during the act, share the taste so to speak (if only to be fair), if they had not already done so in private. It is not ghey, as I am sure there are other bodily emissions you have eaten or inhaled in your life of comparable viscosity, taste and odor (the amount of nasal drainage going into your stomach alone should be an example, the only difference in this case being motile protein, heh). 

My only request is if you don't really like getting it on you (or in you), don't lie and say you do just to make us happy. Yes, it's slimy, it congeals then gets runny. It mats into hair and dries to the consistency of model glue if left unattended. It stains with the resiliency of red wine in a white shag carpet. _Nectar of the Gods_, hardly. I am sure, given enough time, effort and Dow-Corning research money, I could couple it with an epoxy to build an adhesive strong enough to construct suspension bridges.

In this case (along with the enigma of penis size), I blame pornography 100%. Porn implies that all ladies keep a source of come handy when showering since the cosmetic and dermatological properties alone lend it to regular use and expansive coverage. It cures acne, women love it all over their face and hair (especially in the eyes and open mouth, right at the point where it hits the uvula and triggers the gag reflex, ooh baby  ). Semen, in PornoLand, should never be in short supply, and is always, ALWAYS appreciated. Especially when distributed on said ladies with all the decorum, romance and aesthetic of a Jackson Pollack painting. Again, your mileage (and shooting distance) may vary.

I personally don't ask for oral. There are many other aspects to intimacy that I enjoy to a greater degree. I won't shake my head no like an electrocuted squirrel if one is OFFERED, mind you, but I don't seek it out as the _sine qua non_ of great sex. To wit, if a lover implies it would be erotic to "imbibe my emission," as an effort to turn me on, the denouement of the climax should not be her rapidly spitting it into a trashcan or other container. This would be equivalent to orally bringing your lady to orgasm and then running to the bathroom to brush your teeth.

Just sayin'.


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## mossystate (Oct 11, 2007)

Emissions...ha..." give me your emissions, as I am arriving "..

On me is one thing..now, I don't want a shower, no, and I do not want it on my face ( oh lord, this is getting to be TMI overload..oh, the puns! ), but some on other parts is fine..hey, my stuff tends to find its way..oh nevermind.......now, my mouth is a no-no-no...don't ask...will not happen...

there should be another thread...Dims After Dark...


*eta...yeah, AS...people really DO need to talk more!!!!!..


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 11, 2007)

mossystate said:


> there should be another thread...Dims After Dark...




I am so there.

You bring a delicate, quivering flower and I'll find a turgid manhood (somewhere, by God, by hook or by crook).


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## RedVelvet (Oct 11, 2007)

This is interesting...

I mean.....I have no issues with any of that..

I swallow. Of course....or rather..it seems a matter of course for me...anything else feels like a rejection of that person on an intimate level.

.......and men who are all fussy about ME wont get to be anywhere near my kitty again..dang...

I don't expect everyone else to be that way....but I have never been with anyone who wasn't.......frankly..I most often am with men who are almost a little TOO into my...um...well..ok.

I can be VERY blunt here..no problem...but I am trying to not offend.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Oct 11, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> I swallow. Of course....or rather..it seems a matter of course for me...anything else feels like a rejection of that person on an intimate level.



Me too - I just didn't want to say it first! LOL


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## mossystate (Oct 11, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> I am so there.
> 
> You bring a delicate, quivering flower and I'll find a turgid manhood (somewhere, by God, by hook or by crook).




Ms. Wizard..is there a fine upstanding bit of manhood in your bag...for me?..just not too crook-ed..ouch..delicate flower and all...


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## Admiral_Snackbar (Oct 11, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Emissions...ha..." give me your emissions, as I am arriving "..
> 
> On me is one thing..now, I don't want a shower, no, and I do not want it on my face ( oh lord, this is getting to be TMI overload..oh, the puns! ), but some on other parts is fine..hey, my stuff tends to find its way..oh nevermind.......now, my mouth is a no-no-no...don't ask...will not happen...
> 
> ...



Your thread, mossy, as requested. So let it be written. So let it be DONE!


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## RedVelvet (Oct 11, 2007)

What's a "sissy"?

My fag friends want to know.


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## activistfatgirl (Oct 11, 2007)

Swallowing is a matter of convenience, not intimacy for me. I literally think "Do I want to wash these sheets?" And I'm lazy.

Not that that matters, cause this thread reminds me how much most people hate smokers (for good reason, of course). I'm doomed.

Anyways, I'll join others w/ a couple of crucial turn-offs:

Jamming your tongue into my mouth. I still don't understand it. I've tried to explain to several why this doesn't work, to no avail.

The Quiet Comer. Sigh.

Submissive partners.


For the record, one of my turn-offs is not enough pain. Just sayin.


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## mossystate (Oct 11, 2007)

RveeJ...oh, I certainly know there are women who like to swallow..and probably many who are guilted into it.....now, because I do not want ' it ' in my mouth at full speed, does not mean I am all ' ew..gross..boy stuff '....I really think it all hinges on the maturity level and connection between the people involved....I have never had a man be offended..ever ( now, not saying I have had dozens of men..heh )..........but, maybe that is because I am that delightful between the seal skins...... ....look...a tongue.....oh, and as for really enthusiastic men..oh, nothing like them......NOTHING!


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## mossystate (Oct 11, 2007)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> Your thread, mossy, as requested. So let it be written. So let it be DONE!



*L*..jolly good...although, I already spurted a bit too much..here...oops..must rest up...go again in ....5 minutes


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 11, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> This is interesting...
> 
> I mean.....I have no issues with any of that..
> 
> ...



Well, OK, since you're being all delicate, I'll be blunt. With euphemism!

I grew up on a farm, and most of our food came directly from the source. Our cows provided us with our milk. None of that fancy (healthier, tastier, non- chunky) supermarket stuff for us! 

One day, the cows roamed a bit too far into the meadow and got into a field of wild onions. The milk smelled and tasted strongly of ... wild onions. For days, even after they were fenced in and not allowed to roam.

Now tell me, RV, would you drink that milk?


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## Canonista (Oct 11, 2007)

Another turn off: I was with a woman once who was so afraid of getting pregnant that she damned near had a panic attack any time I showed the slightest bit of enjoyment. She insisted on being on top so that she could escape my seed the moment she suspected I was about to finish. The only problem with that was she thought every grunt and moan I made was a sign I was about to break loose. Just when we'd get a good rhythm going and I'd start to get into it she'd pull away.

If you're that afraid of semen, you probably shouldn't be in bed with a man.

(Worse yet I had protection and she was on the pill. Also, I've had girlfriends who I "filled up" many dozens of times and I only have one child. My swimmers are lousy with directions. I'm pretty safe when it comes to makin' babies.)


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## RedVelvet (Oct 11, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> Now tell me, RV, would you drink that milk?




No.


This reminds me! Guys! Helpful trick!

You all know about eating pineapple, right? as in...eat lots the day before you might have sex and it will change the flavor of you? a LOT??


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## Seth Warren (Oct 11, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> No.
> 
> 
> This reminds me! Guys! Helpful trick!
> ...




So it works only one day in advance? I was under the impression that it took much longer to get the effect; i.e.: one would have to go vegetarian for a month thereabouts for it to do anything.

I need to try this experiment...


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## RedVelvet (Oct 11, 2007)

Seth Warren said:


> So it works only one day in advance? I was under the impression that it took much longer to get the effect; i.e.: one would have to go vegetarian for a month thereabouts for it to do anything.
> 
> I need to try this experiment...



Well..a few days is helpful...but yeah...eating lots of pineapple in particular is a quick sort of fix.....its both the pineapple itself as well as the enzymes that effect your digestion......


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## mossystate (Oct 11, 2007)

Hmmmm, perhaps more men need to take lil shot glasses and enjoy the fruits of their labor..make sure things are tasty...chow down, big boy.....


Hmmm..I have a pineapple in the kitchen, just asking to be cut and enjoyed....would this have any effect on my..stuff..?...I could report back..to the Dims After Dark..thread..I would do it for Team Dims...


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## RedVelvet (Oct 11, 2007)

Turn off:

You both dont want babies..you will never want babies....but he thinks if someone should get their tubes tied..it should be you.


Even tho its major surgery requiring general anesthetic for YOU...even tho for HIM, with his OUTIE genitals...its in out office procedure....even tho its way fucking easier...way...and much less expensive too.

come ON, man!


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## RedVelvet (Oct 11, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Hmmm..I have a pineapple in the kitchen, just asking to be cut and enjoyed....would this have any effect on my..stuff..?...I could report back..to the Dims After Dark..thread..I would do it for Team Dims...



YES...effects you too.....not as much...but most definitely.



I, of course, dont need to, because redhead pussy is naturally perfect....but there you go.


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## mossystate (Oct 11, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> YES...effects you too.....not as much...but most definitely.
> 
> 
> 
> I, of course, dont need to, because redhead pussy is naturally perfect....but there you go.



*L*

tramp

and I SO agree with the vasectomy issue!..my sister had to have a C-section, after the birth of her second ( surviving ) child...when some of her husbands male friends asked him why she did not just go for a tubal ligation while she was " already on the table "...my bro-in- law realized just how fucked up some of his friends are....my sister had no desire to have a tubal ligation done, and my bro-in-law always knew that he wanted to share in the having to go through a few things that meant they were indeed a team....now, while a vasectomy is nothing like giving birth 3 times and a C-section..etc..etc..at least he understood the underlying message of it all.....


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## Canonista (Oct 11, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> No.
> 
> 
> This reminds me! Guys! Helpful trick!
> ...



Considering the nature of this site wouldn't it be better if I ate a ton of pizza?


----------



## bigplaidpants (Oct 11, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> No.
> 
> 
> This reminds me! Guys! Helpful trick!
> ...



Same idea works with tuna.


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 11, 2007)

mossystate said:


> *L*
> 
> tramp
> 
> and I SO agree with the vasectomy issue!..my sister had to have a C-section, after the birth of her second ( surviving ) child...when some of her husbands male friends asked him why she did not just go for a tubal ligation while she was " already on the table "...my bro-in- law realized just how fucked up some of his friends are....my sister had no desire to have a tubal ligation done, and my bro-in-law always knew that he wanted to share in the having to go through a few things that meant they were indeed a team....now, while a vasectomy is nothing like giving birth 3 times and a C-section..etc..etc..at least he understood the underlying message of it all.....




I LIKE your brother in law....


----------



## Santaclear (Oct 11, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> A word association game, Santa? Cool.
> 
> rolodex penis



Bagel dick is even worse. It comes from poor hygeine. Add meth mouth and whiskey butt to that and you have a recipe for super turnoff.

Rolodex penis tho, Traci, is like advanced accordion penis (also caused by poor hygeine) but some of the ladies seem to love it, go figure.


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 11, 2007)

Canonista said:


> Considering the nature of this site wouldn't it be better if I ate a ton of pizza?





Um.


Ew.



way ew.

as in..now thats in my head...thanks...


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 11, 2007)

Santaclear said:


> Bagel pussy. :bow:



post pix plz kthx


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 11, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> I am so there.
> 
> You bring a delicate, quivering flower and I'll find a turgid manhood (somewhere, by God, by hook or by crook).



Turgid Manhood sounds so hot........especially after we have gone into male breast feeding and bagel pussies :wubu:


----------



## Tooz (Oct 11, 2007)

I haven't read it all yet, but a) I wasn't speaking only of oral, and b) Sandie, a woman can feel however she wants about what goes on or in or whatever.

ok read it.

Well, I don't have a problem with it really NOW, I have a problem with the guys who act like their spooge is God's gift to humanity.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 11, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Me too - I just didn't want to say it first! LOL




I thought I said it without saying it first  

but ONLY IF I'M IN THE MOOD :doh:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 11, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Turn off:
> 
> You both dont want babies..you will never want babies....but he thinks if someone should get their tubes tied..it should be you.
> 
> ...




AIN'T THIS THE GD TRUTH???????????


My ex went under the knife after I gave birth to our twins- enough said


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 11, 2007)

mossystate said:


> *L*
> 
> tramp
> 
> and I SO agree with the vasectomy issue!..my sister had to have a C-section, after the birth of her second ( surviving ) child...when some of her husbands male friends asked him why she did not just go for a tubal ligation while she was " already on the table "...my bro-in- law realized just how fucked up some of his friends are....my sister had no desire to have a tubal ligation done, and my bro-in-law always knew that he wanted to share in the having to go through a few things that meant they were indeed a team....now, while a vasectomy is nothing like giving birth 3 times and a C-section..etc..etc..at least he understood the underlying message of it all.....



Please see my previous post i.e. I approve this message


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 11, 2007)

Santaclear said:


> Bagel dick is even worse. It comes from poor hygeine. Add meth mouth and whiskey butt to that and you have a recipe for super turnoff.
> 
> Rolodex penis tho, Traci, is like advanced accordion penis (also caused by poor hygeine) but some of the ladies seem to love it, go figure.




Accordian penis? Would you mind posting one over in the dick thread that's on the weight board please?


----------



## mossystate (Oct 11, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Please see my previous post i.e. I approve this message



I am sorry..did you say something?..let me take a weedwhacker to your head...please..


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 11, 2007)

Tooz said:


> I haven't read it all yet, but a) I wasn't speaking only of oral, and b) Sandie, a woman can feel however she wants about what goes on or in or whatever.
> 
> ok read it.
> 
> Well, I don't have a problem with it really NOW, I have a problem with the guys who act like their spooge is God's gift to humanity.




Oh I hear you!! I do! I mean....bukkake? WHAT THE FUCK? Its...just.....semen!

WHAT is that about!?



oh ..and I HATE the word "cream" for semen..GOD.....ew!! just gross.....Cream is ....cream!..thanks.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Oct 11, 2007)

Where did I say that??



Tooz said:


> I haven't read it all yet, but a) I wasn't speaking only of oral, and b) Sandie, a woman can feel however she wants about what goes on or in or whatever.
> 
> ok read it.
> 
> Well, I don't have a problem with it really NOW, I have a problem with the guys who act like their spooge is God's gift to humanity.


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 11, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Where did I say that??




She didn't say you did! She said it *herself* in her original post and was just re-emphasising it HERE.

Just wanna make that clear..


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 11, 2007)

mossystate said:


> I am sorry..did you say something?..let me take a weedwhacker to your head...please..




Don't make me beat you with that accordian penis that Santa promised us.....:blink:


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Oct 11, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> She didn't say you did! She said it *herself* in her original post and was just re-emphasising it HERE.
> 
> Just wanna make that clear..




Um yeah OK whatever.


----------



## mossystate (Oct 11, 2007)

Promised us?...good god, girl...I mean, I would not mind playing Americal Idol with a mike stand tonight...but..you really do have penis on the brain.......heh


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 11, 2007)

Too bad I don't want it in my brain


----------



## mossystate (Oct 11, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Too bad I don't want it in my brain



Prude..look how fast i responded..whooosh


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 11, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Um yeah OK whatever.



Egads woman....why the hostility? I was just trying to make sure you knew she wasn't attacking you!


Nevermind...I will be over here with my martini and smokes.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 11, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Prude..look how fast i responded..whooosh




Don't make me beat you with it again to prove what a hip chick I really am...


----------



## TraciJo67 (Oct 11, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> No.
> 
> 
> This reminds me! Guys! Helpful trick!
> ...



SO .... what you're saying is that we should have fed the offending cows some pineapple? :doh:


----------



## Canonista (Oct 11, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Oh I hear you!! I do! I mean....bukkake? WHAT THE FUCK? Its...just.....semen!
> 
> WHAT is that about!?


----------



## mossystate (Oct 11, 2007)

if you like penis coladas..and gettin caught in the rain.....


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 11, 2007)

mossystate said:


> if you like penis coladas..and gettin caught in the rain.....





:smitten: :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:


----------



## mossystate (Oct 11, 2007)

Canonista said:


>



Canon..is that you in the middle?..JUST asking...


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 11, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Canon..is that you in the middle?..JUST asking...




Since it won't let me secretly rep you.......but I'm still willing to be your flower, my little honey bee :smitten:


----------



## mossystate (Oct 11, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Since it won't let me secretly rep you.......but I'm still willing to be your flower, my little honey bee :smitten:



god...mention a crotchless bumblebee costume and ALL the freaks are sprung from their bean bag chairs....play hard to get..a gal likes a bit of a challenge..


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 11, 2007)

mossystate said:


> god...mention a crotchless bumblebee costume and ALL the freaks are sprung from their bean bag chairs....play hard to get..a gal likes a bit of a challenge..




Hey, I know you like freaks so I thought you wouldn't mind...:batting:


----------



## fasteddie1 (Oct 11, 2007)

Tooz said:


> Okay, here's the deal. This reminded me of a major turn-off for me.
> 
> TURN-OFF: When a guy acts like his ... emissions ... are the nectar of the Gods. It's not. In the past, if I were to get some on me, I'd not say anything and just run off to quickly clean (I'm better about it now), and guys would act all hurt. What the hell? I'm sorry you can't handle that I don't want that on my body?



Well, everyone feels...the way they feel.

When I have sex with a woman, and it was hot, I like having it on me, I don't mind smelling of her.

I've had women actually say, out loud, "Ewww!"

Just like the guys you go around saying that women smell like bad fish, or something...

These people are candidates for reproduction via cloning technology.


----------



## Tooz (Oct 11, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> She didn't say you did! She said it *herself* in her original post and was just re-emphasising it HERE.
> 
> Just wanna make that clear..



Word.

PING PONG


----------



## Tooz (Oct 11, 2007)

fasteddie1 said:


> I've had women actually say, out loud, "Ewww!"



Oh, now that's just bad poise. I've never done anything like that and I would never think of disrespecting a guy I was with THAT bad.


----------



## Seth Warren (Oct 11, 2007)

Canonista said:


> *circle gummies*



Tasteless...

I love it.


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 11, 2007)

fasteddie1 said:


> I've had women actually say, out loud, "Ewww!"




Good lord, humans are stupid.


I mean really...the majority?..just stunningly average.....


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Oct 11, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Egads woman....why the hostility? I was just trying to make sure you knew she wasn't attacking you!
> 
> 
> Nevermind...I will be over here with my martini and smokes.



Who says I'm hostile? I'm packing to go away for a week with my hubby - I am as far away from hostile as one can get.


----------



## BlondeAmbition (Oct 11, 2007)

activistfatgirl said:


> The Quiet Comer. Sigh.




I quite agree.. however, it's not so much of a turn-off as it is a disappointment. 

Honestly, a quiet gasp and slight flicker of the eyes is a decent tell but there's nothing like letting me _know_ that I just popped your cork and it felt _daaaaaaamn_ good!


----------



## fasteddie1 (Oct 11, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Good lord, humans are stupid.
> 
> 
> I mean really...the majority?..just stunningly average.....



I go into a store and buy an expensive bottle of Scotch. I share it with my friends, discuss how smooth it is...blah, blah.

However, if it did not make me drunk, I wouldn't have much to say about it. I'd clean paintbrushes with it.

The fluid that issues from the private parts of a beloved one, in the throes of pleasure and passion, I call "love cream." I cherish it. 

If it was the product of something else, I'd wipe it off on a Kleenex and toss it.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Oct 11, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Well..a few days is helpful...but yeah...eating lots of pineapple in particular is a quick sort of fix.....its both the pineapple itself as well as the enzymes that effect your digestion......



Dr. Drew says it's a myth, but empircal evidence prevails every time. I mean, he can't be wrong, can he? He's a DOCTOR!

What I have found improves the taste:

Pineapple (per Red Velvet)
Citrus Fruits
Avoiding crucifers (broccoli, asparagus, brussels sprouts)

What makes it taste worse:

Lots of red meat or high beef/pork protein
ODing on dairy, yogurt
Spicy or garlicky foods

This is also an excellent list.

I will say, as a possible experiment, I would love to see if Sugar Smacks affect the taste, because the honey flavoring (also with Super Golden Crisp cereal) makes pee smell like the cereal. Never worked on that though.

Overall though, realize that different parts of your tongue are sensitive to different tastes. Looking at how taste buds are distributed, you're going to have issues no matter what with the flavor of any secretions, male or female.


----------



## supersoup (Oct 12, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> I, of course, dont need to, because redhead pussy is naturally perfect....but there you go.



quoting for emphasis.

carry on kids, carry on.


----------



## mossystate (Oct 12, 2007)

I think it is sooooo cute when redheads think they are special...why...THAT is special.....* wuffles their lil orange locks *... 

----

Now, carrying on...I will say that a huge turn-off is a man who flits around too much...landing and it feeling wonderful..ohhhhh..and there he goes...slow down a lil, boys, slooooow down..


----------



## Jack Skellington (Oct 12, 2007)

mossystate said:


> RveeJ...oh, I certainly know there are women who like to swallow..and probably many who are guilted into it.....now,



Or they could just pretend to give them a kiss and then spit it in their mouth instead.


----------



## themadhatter (Oct 12, 2007)

Jack Skellington said:


> Or they could just pretend to give them a kiss and then spit it in their mouth instead.



Oh you mean a snowball? Hahaha


----------



## mossystate (Oct 12, 2007)

Jack Skellington said:


> Or they could just pretend to give them a kiss and then spit it in their mouth instead.



orrr..they could take the stuff into their mouths and then transfer it to the man..via said kiss..that way, both can feel sooooo very connected...heh...


----------



## fasteddie1 (Oct 12, 2007)

I once heard a woman, in some game of Truth or Dare, swear that it was a dead ringer for Brie cheese.


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 12, 2007)

Ok...this takes me to another turn off:

All this talk about food references with regards to sex.

Ew....

Pussy turns on....tummy turns off.....I CANNOT put food and sex together...

Just.....revolting...REEEEEE-volting!


I realize that to many here that makes me a bit of a freak.


----------



## Canonista (Oct 12, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Canon..is that you in the middle?..JUST asking...



I'm flattered you think I could get so many people excited at once.


----------



## Tina (Oct 12, 2007)

Tooz said:


> Okay, here's the deal. This reminded me of a major turn-off for me.
> 
> TURN-OFF: When a guy acts like his ... emissions ... are the nectar of the Gods. It's not. In the past, if I were to get some on me, I'd not say anything and just run off to quickly clean (I'm better about it now), and guys would act all hurt. What the hell? I'm sorry you can't handle that I don't want that on my body?


Yeah... I won't go into details about past exploits, but as I got older and realized for a fact, more and more, that ejaculate is mucous, it lost its 'charm' for me. I don't mind if I get it on me here and there, but I'm not going to bathe in it and I sure am not going to swallow it. Oral, fine -- great, even, but if I'm thirsty I'll get a drink of water...


----------



## mossystate (Oct 12, 2007)

Canonista said:


> I'm flattered you think I could get so many people excited at once.



any port in a storm..


----------



## fasteddie1 (Oct 12, 2007)

Tina said:


> Yeah... I won't go into details about past exploits, but as I got older and realized for a fact, more and more, that ejaculate is mucous, it lost its 'charm' for me. I don't mind if I get it on me here and there, but I'm not going to bathe in it and I sure am not going to swallow it. Oral, fine -- great, even, but if I'm thirsty I'll get a drink of water...



It has some similarity to mucous...denatured alcohol from the hardware store has some similarity to 12 year old scotch, too. But the one is fit to consume and the other isn't: come is not a waste product.


----------



## mossystate (Oct 12, 2007)

erase...erase...erase...

I have just found a huge sexual turn-off.....riiiiight.......there


----------



## Tina (Oct 12, 2007)

fasteddie1 said:


> It has some similarity to mucous...denatured alcohol from the hardware store has some similarity to 12 year old scotch, too. But the one is fit to consume and the other isn't: come is not a waste product.


I first heard about the mucous thing from a doctor on television many years ago. Fact is, there is mucous in both male and female ejacuate. It travels along mucous membranes in both male and female reproductive systems. That doesn't make it dirty, but over time, to me, it did make it kind of gross, to me. Here is a bit, from Wiki. I'm beginning to be sorry I brought this up, just thought it was common knowledge.





_
Reproductive system

In the female reproductive system, cervical mucus prevents infection and helps the movement of the penis during sexual intercourse. When thin, cervical mucus helps the movement of spermatozoa. The consistency of cervical mucus varies depending on the stage of a woman's menstrual cycle. At ovulation cervical mucus is clear, runny, and conducive to sperm; post-ovulation, mucus becomes thicker and is more likely to block sperm.

In the male reproductive system, the seminal vesicles located behind the bladder contribute up to 60% of the total volume of the semen and contain mucus, amino acids, and fructose as the main energy source for the sperm._


----------



## fasteddie1 (Oct 12, 2007)

It's not mucous in the same way that...well, what comes out when you blow your nose is mucous. Think of it that way - who'd want to rub their _mucous membranes_ against someone elses _mucous membranes_?

Just about any kind of sex involves that.

A long time ago, I decided that I no longer enjoyed "mind expanding" drugs because I started thinking too much about stuff like that.


----------



## Tina (Oct 12, 2007)

Really, I believe I understand the information, and you don't need to school me in how I should think. I'm giving information, not telling you what to do or think.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Oct 12, 2007)

Why do I feel like we're moving toward the Pleasure Helmets in Demolition Man?

_Eeeew, disgusting! You mean...*fluid transfer*? The exchange of bodily fluids, do you know what that leads to?_


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 12, 2007)

God.....I'm a complete pervert.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Oct 12, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> God.....I'm a complete pervert.



... But are you a hooks in the ceiling, embedded in the mirror kinda pervert?


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 12, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> ... But are you a hooks in the ceiling, embedded in the mirror kinda pervert?




YES.

With mucous membranes.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Oct 12, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> YES.
> 
> With mucous membranes.



Can I ... watch? Please? I'll stand in the corner & won't make a sound.


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 12, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> Can I ... watch? Please? I'll stand in the corner & won't make a sound.




I'm such a perv...... that sounds great.

Welcome.

Be careful before I flirt with you and completely gross my dear pal Mossy out.


----------



## bigplaidpants (Oct 12, 2007)

Reading this very thread increasingly moves toward itself as an answer to its very question.

RedVelvet - you are an exception.


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 12, 2007)

bigplaidpants said:


> RedVelvet - you are an exception.



Always!


yay for me!


----------



## TraciJo67 (Oct 12, 2007)

bigplaidpants said:


> Reading this very thread increasingly moves toward itself as an answer to its very question.
> 
> RedVelvet - you are an exception.



Well, I gotta say, that hurts my feelings -- considering how you're such a turn-on to me


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 12, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> Well, I gotta say, that hurts my feelings -- considering how you're such a turn-on to me





Come here, little girl....its gonna be JUST fine...



(Flings Tracy over her shoulder and carries her into be bedroom....)


----------



## bigplaidpants (Oct 12, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> Well, I gotta say, that hurts my feelings -- considering how you're such a turn-on to me



eh...hem. Um. <covers wife's ears> Permit me to back peddle into my own embarrassment! Of course, I would never be so thoughtless. Bad blanket statements! Bad Bad! I.....



RedVelvet said:


> Come here, little girl....its gonna be JUST fine...
> 
> (Flings Tracy over her shoulder and carries her into be bedroom....)



<_bpp pauses to notice TraciJo has found comfort elsewhere_>


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 12, 2007)

bigplaidpants said:


> <_bpp pauses to notice TraciJo has found comfort elsewhere_>




Don't be so sure..most likely I have just sent her into charming spasms of uncomfortable coy.


----------



## mossystate (Oct 12, 2007)

Oh, I was hoping the subject had been changed...lol

I have had a cold and then a sinus infection for the last month...I have had enough mucous to last a lifetime...

now, if you people have any interesting turn-ons ..let's here them.....now


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 12, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Oh, I was hoping the subject had been changed...lol
> 
> I have had a cold and then a sinus infection for the last month...I have had enough mucous to last a lifetime...
> 
> now, if you people have any interesting turn-ons ..let's here them.....now




Flirting with straight women...




(kidding...)


----------



## bigplaidpants (Oct 12, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Oh, I was hoping the subject had been changed...lol
> 
> I have had a cold and then a sinus infection for the last month...I have had enough mucous to last a lifetime...
> 
> now, if you people have any interesting turn-ons ..let's here them.....now



How 'bout the low rasp of a fat phlegm-ified women who whispers like Lou Rawls.


----------



## mossystate (Oct 12, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Flirting with straight women...
> 
> 
> 
> ...




do better..come on, dammit...

right next to my building there is a business that has closed its doors. I was hoping that another business would move in and not have it be another apt building...looks like it will be a bidness. Well, there are men working over there and a few have been scurrying up and down a tall ladder. one of my living room windows is right in line with said ladder....I am sitting on my couch...cross-legged..pointed in the direction of youngish hunks of Seattle meat........should I remove my pants, stretch out on my couch..pretending I cannot know they can see in my apartment, if they go to the highest rung on that ladder?..............

oh, reminds me of the time the landscapers were behind an apt I used to live in..ground floor...secluded back yard area....ummmmmm..nevermind.....


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 12, 2007)

Mossy is a closet exhibitionist!

AWESOME!!!

and...you really don't want to know...trust me..you don't.


----------



## mossystate (Oct 12, 2007)

bigplaidpants said:


> How 'bout the low rasp of a fat phlegm-ified women who whispers like Lou Rawls.



how about it?....ummmm..you do not need me to be a cheerleader for what makes you go zingazingzing.....


----------



## bigplaidpants (Oct 12, 2007)

mossystate said:


> how about it?....ummmm..you do not need me to be a cheerleader for what makes you go zingazingzing.....



No. Not looking for a cheerleader. Never was into cheerleaders. Though, I was one in high school during basketball season...me and 3 other guys from the football team.  We were ridiculously insecure about being perceived the "wrong way" (whatever in the hell that is), so we refused to use our arms during cheers. Only megaphones and stunts. 

Screwed up a stunt once (a "chair") and my stunt partner ended up sitting on my face in front of 1000 people. She had no idea what had happened or why the crowd was, um, "reacting".




I thought everybody was into Lou Rawls.


----------



## mottiemushroom (Oct 12, 2007)

Turn offs:

1. Being asked "was it good for you?" - If you had to ask then obviously the answer is NO !!!!

2. Being expected to always behave like a lady - sometimes i just wanna play at being a whore  

3. No sense of humour - afterall sex should be enjoyable & should put a grin on ya face


----------



## snuggletiger (Oct 12, 2007)

the lack of sound or response from the lady. Its like thanks for turning into a Mute, at least Harpo had a horn. Thanks for making me feel bored.


----------



## mossystate (Oct 12, 2007)

bigplaidpants said:


> Though, I was one in high school during basketball season...me and 3 other guys from the football team.  We were ridiculously insecure about being perceived the "wrong way" (whatever in the hell that is), so we refused to use our arms during cheers. Only megaphones and stunts.



now is the time to post pictures..I was a cheerleader in 6th or 7th grade..not sure why they are needed at such a young age..but I have the photographic proof...I am sure you do as well.......


----------



## Tina (Oct 12, 2007)

bigplaidpants said:


> How 'bout the low rasp of a fat phlegm-ified women who whispers like Lou Rawls.



LMAO!! So glad I could set you up with great material like that...  Okay, okay!! I'll stop the mucous talk now!


----------



## bigplaidpants (Oct 12, 2007)

mossystate said:


> now is the time to post pictures..I was a cheerleader in 6th or 7th grade..not sure why they are needed at such a young age..but I have the photographic proof...I am sure you do as well.......



LOL....I will have to do some rummaging for pics...but I do have proof. 

I just wish I had the moment she sat on my face on film. I had thrown her over my head and sitting on my hand. My arm should have been fully extended. But the timing was off. She didn't get high enough. I had to muscle her up. In the strain, I was looking up.

Mouth open.

And tongue out, pushing with all my might.

But, she hadn't even gotten half way. 

Down she came. Right on my face.

I know no one will believe me. But, it was an innocent display.

I'll look for my cheerleading pics...


----------



## bigplaidpants (Oct 12, 2007)

Tina said:


> LMAO!! So glad I could set you up with great material like that...  Okay, okay!! I'll stop the mucous talk now!



Again, my hero. I'm glad *someone* thought it was as funny as I did.


----------



## mossystate (Oct 12, 2007)

bigplaidpants said:


> In the strain, I was looking up.
> 
> Mouth open.
> 
> And tongue out, pushing with all my might.



your new name is....VladInBigPlaidPants


----------



## bigplaidpants (Oct 12, 2007)

mossystate said:


> your new name is....VladInBigPlaidPants



if I was only worthy


----------



## Canonista (Oct 12, 2007)

mossystate said:


> now is the time to post pictures..I was a cheerleader in 6th or 7th grade..not sure why they are needed at such a young age..but I have the photographic proof...I am sure you do as well.......


----------



## Tina (Oct 12, 2007)

Canon, no offense meant, but it looks like 'you' are pulling that camera out of your ass...  

And yup, Plaid, not only did I get it, but it's like I could almost _hear_ it. Ew. LOL!


----------



## TraciJo67 (Oct 12, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Come here, little girl....its gonna be JUST fine...



No way . I'm still sulking and I still have a lot of sucking mileage in my thumb.




> (Flings Tracy over her shoulder and carries her into be bedroom....)



Uh ... Who's that? What's that? Why is that ... thing .... in WHERE???? OH MY HOLY JESUS GOD .... mommy .... whimper  

When is it my turn?


----------



## JSmirkingRevenge (Oct 12, 2007)

um, to date the biggest turn off for me thus far has been someone taking a call during sex. 

i mean, seriously. who does that?


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 12, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> Uh ... Who's that? What's that? Why is that ... thing .... in WHERE???? OH MY HOLY JESUS GOD .... mommy .... whimper
> 
> When is it my turn?




Eeeee, yer so cute. And that strap on is so FETCHING!



(ok....sometimes I DO love straight women.)


----------



## mossystate (Oct 12, 2007)

I know the one thing TraciJo fantasizes about...more than aaaannnnything else...yup...sho dew.....


----------



## TraciJo67 (Oct 12, 2007)

mossystate said:


> I know the one thing TraciJo fantasizes about...more than aaaannnnything else...yup...sho dew.....



You mean, aside from naked Zitkus pics (come on ... everyone knows that)? Betcha don't


----------



## mossystate (Oct 12, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> You mean, aside from naked Zitkus pics (come on ... everyone knows that)? Betcha don't



*Looks up, waiting for a big bag of drama to fall on your noggin*


----------



## Canonista (Oct 12, 2007)

Tina said:


> Canon, no offense meant, but it looks like 'you' are pulling that camera out of your ass...



I can't begin to tell you how tough things can get without a camera bag! It's a good thing I didn't bring Canon's 600mm lens!


----------



## TraciJo67 (Oct 12, 2007)

mossystate said:


> *Looks up, waiting for a big bag of drama to fall on your noggin*



http://www.dpf.com/


.... my *other* (now not-so) secret passion.


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## mossystate (Oct 12, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> http://www.dpf.com/
> 
> 
> .... my *other* (now not-so) secret passion.



How long did it take you to be able to ....release...I still have a mental block...and that's for #1....#2 is a mere dream......

I wonder if any kind FA would like to procure some BIG supplies for me...??..PM me if you would like to help


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 12, 2007)

mossystate said:


> How long did it take you to be able to ....release...I still have a mental block...and that's for #1....#2 is a mere dream......
> 
> I wonder if any kind FA would like to procure some BIG supplies for me...??..PM me if you would like to help



Well, by release ... do you mean, *arrive*? I'm still waiting for that magical day :::blush:::. And I gotta tell you ... I'm mighty chafed. But determined. Someday, I'll float my boat ... tralalalalalala

As for procuring supplies ... I'm fairly certain that they take Visa. You don't need no steenkin man to make your dreams come true.


----------



## Ernest Nagel (Oct 12, 2007)

I haven't gone through and systematically quantified this, so it's just an anecdotal observation. Apologies for that because it's not my nature to be so imprecise. My general impression however is that the majority of turnoffs referenced in this thread are behavioral in nature. In other words, they're things that someone could choose to change about themselves if they were notified. I'm not saying no one's tried by the way; I'm just a little curious if there isn't some perverse satisfaction we take in having these war stories that we value even more than the carnal satisfaction we all claim to crave? That's one question.

The other thing I've noticed is that there seems to be no great capacity to distinguish among physical turnoffs. I acknowledge these aren't things that we necessarily have conscious or intellectual control over. One man or woman's pleasure is invariably another man or woman's poison (or bad tasting semen). I'll candidly admit that this one is a bit about my own ox feeling a trifle gored. bad teeth or breath, get them handled, no doubt. Short (in any dimension), hairless, too hairy; these things are not quite so easily rectified. How is that different than being a BBW and not being regarded as a whole person? (part A of question 2)

I'll freely acknowledge that I am absurdly hirsute. In the summer I have my back hair done in cornrows just to keep from frightening small children when I'm swimming (apparently Klingons are less frightening than large wooly animals?) Yes, I am one of those people who is not naked, even underneath his clothes. I have long since made my peace with the revulsion and arbitrary rejection that occasionally comes with this. Despite the fact that I am generally regarded as a decent, well groomed and considerate human being, apparently a significant number of women on this board would reject me out of hand. No offense taken and I'm completely serious. You are entitled to your feelings and I'm not trying to invalidate or criticize them.

What I'm wondering here though is, if you feel someone who has rejected you strictly and exclusively because of your size, are they any more shallow or superficial than you for rejecting someone due to any other genetic or hormonal appearance issue? (question 2, part B) I obviously don't think everyone has to be attracted to everyone else. I do think that it behooves those of us who've been rejected or excluded due to one unusual aspect of our appearance to set an example with others. Of course hypocrisy does not excuse anyone else's loutish behavior. I do think it should make it a little less available for us to criticize however. 

Don't mean to be a buzzkill. I've found this thread to be in general hugely entertaining. I don't think that necessarily precludes it from becoming a springboard to more serious inquiry. At least I hope not?

BTW, I was kidding about the back hair in cornrows. I do dreads, LOL!:shocked:


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## mossystate (Oct 12, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> Well, by release ... do you mean, *arrive*? I'm still waiting for that magical day :::blush:::. And I gotta tell you ... I'm mighty chafed. But determined. Someday, I'll float my boat ... tralalalalalala
> 
> As for procuring supplies ... I'm fairly certain that they take Visa. You don't need no steenkin man to make your dreams come true.



ok..i suppose i could get my money back..and more..if i sold the...ummmm...ok....going to get my CC...


you sick bitch


----------



## mossystate (Oct 12, 2007)

Ernest..short answer?..if a man does not find me attractive because I am fat ( let's use that, instead of the more 'acceptable' BBW )..I have no problem with it...I might feel a twinge if I am attracted to HIM...but...nope...he has his right and if he is not going into contortions and telling me that I am disgusting..etc....then it's all good and fair...and..life....and just because I am fat and a woman..does not mean I am an all giving and wanting and 'accepting' human .....


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 12, 2007)

Ernest Nagel said:


> What I'm wondering here though is, if you feel someone who has rejected you strictly and exclusively because of your size, are they any more shallow or superficial than you for rejecting someone due to any other genetic or hormonal appearance issue? (question 2, part B) I obviously don't think everyone has to be attracted to everyone else. I do think that it behooves those of us who've been rejected or excluded due to one unusual aspect of our appearance to set an example with others. Of course hypocrisy does not excuse anyone else's loutish behavior. I do think it should make it a little less available for us to criticize however.



What do you mean by "set an example with others"? I guess I'm confused by that statement.

I don't find it at all shallow that some men will not find me attractive because I'm fat. I might not like how a select few of them may *act* on those feelings (i.e., by letting me know that they're disgusted) but I don't think that anyone should really apologize for their hard-wired preferences. 

I'm also not understanding the part about "it should make it a little less available for us to criticize." Maybe I'm reading you wrong, but it almost seems that you're implying that we're flawed in some way and thus should compensate for that by being extra nice. 

Fat doesn't equal nice. Or pretty. Or ugly. Or special in any way at all. Fat is just fat. And, in Monique's case, it's also synonymous with bitch


----------



## mossystate (Oct 12, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> And, in Monique's case, it's also synonymous with bitch



The rest of your post was what I said..just more..wordy, which is your bloated style...however...you sooooo chose the right golden bow at the end...:kiss2: :kiss2: 

damn:doh: ..I mean ...thanks!!..heh


----------



## Ernest Nagel (Oct 12, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Ernest..short answer?..if a man does not find me attractive because I am fat ( let's use that, instead of the more 'acceptable' BBW )..I have no problem with it...I might feel a twinge if I am attracted to HIM...but...nope...he has his right and if he is not going into contortions and telling me that I am disgusting..etc....then it's all good and fair...and..life....and just because I am fat and a woman..does not mean I am an all giving and wanting and 'accepting' human .....


 
Well, yeah I get and respect all that. But we're not talking "attraction" here, are we? This is about sexual turnoffs, right? I have been with women on several occasions who seemed nuts about me until they saw me with my shirt off. There may even be some analogy here for BBW and online relationships? The thing about being hairy is it's just not always quite so evident until you hit the old Wamsutta's. I'm not even suggesting that rejection on superficial grounds is wrong. I'm also not asking anyone to accept me regardless of their taste or feelings. It's kinda just the way the world works I guess? 

I think my larger question here is whether Fat Acceptance or Anything Acceptance is a reasonable expectation in the context of visceral and subconscious human sexual preferences. Acceptance is conscious, revulsion is apparently more subconscious.

On second thought, forget it. I withdraw the questions. Bad idea. Mods, can you just delete both these posts, or can I? Thanks!


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## mossystate (Oct 12, 2007)

Ernest, are you saying that no matter what lurks under the shirts and pants and shoes and socks of a fat woman ....you are always turned on? I know that this for you is difficult, because, short of taking some drastic measures, you are ' stuck ' with the thing that is obviously a roadblock for you. I have one of those.

When ' we ' have what we feel is almost an affliction..the world at times seems a pretty hostile place..but..humans are human...and just like I will never be the cup of tea favored for maybe but a few men..have to hope one is out there that will accept me...'warts' and all.

We all want to be wanted..i just refuse to have to be a better person because I happen to be fat...


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## Tina (Oct 12, 2007)

Unless I have a good reason, I am not inclined to delete, Ernest.

The way I see it is that fat acceptance or size acceptance are very different from turn-ons/turn-offs. A movement to support the rights of fat folk, and wanting society to treat us as equals regardless of our size, is not nearly in the same arena as fat admiration, or fat being a turn-off. Apples and oranges, IMO.


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## RedVelvet (Oct 13, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> http://www.dpf.com/
> 
> 
> .... my *other* (now not-so) secret passion.




Oh Christ.....Diaper Pail Friends is still in existence.

OK...I am a kinky fuck....but that one?.....OHGODS...i dont get it.


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## Jack Skellington (Oct 13, 2007)

From what I've read, in general, men's biggest sexual turn off is women that won't have sex with them.


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## RedVelvet (Oct 13, 2007)

Ernest Nagel said:


> What I'm wondering here though is, if you feel someone who has rejected you strictly and exclusively because of your size, are they any more shallow or superficial than you for rejecting someone due to any other genetic or hormonal appearance issue? (question 2, part B) I obviously don't think everyone has to be attracted to everyone else. I do think that it behooves those of us who've been rejected or excluded due to one unusual aspect of our appearance to set an example with others. Of course hypocrisy does not excuse anyone else's loutish behavior. I do think it should make it a little less available for us to criticize however.


 

Your argument is faulty in a critical sense... 

You are assuming I would think someone shallow for not being attracted to be because of my size. 

We are not talking the workplace or general society here...we are talking SEX and romance. 

I would NEVER, ever think someone shallow for not being physically attracted to me...why should I? They get to like what they like. 

I like men who look a certain way...SEXUALLY....am I shallow? No. I get to like what I like. 

Just like men who like exclusively thin women..or fat women. 

Yes, ideally, we would all like a huge, wide range of "looks"..but we dont. 

That isn't hypocrisy. Its human nature. 

I find it SO tiresome when people tell me that there is something wrong with me for not being attracted to big men sexually (generally).....for example. Am I supposed to like all sizes of men because I am a certain size myself? 

I am not saying that you are doing that, and I realize that you are not saying we should be attracted to all...and yes,* maybe* as a result of my own size I am less judgemental than someone who grew up genetically blessed enough to look like Isabelle Adjani.....but mostly....I really like pretty men when it comes to fucking.

I get to.

its ok.

You get to like what you like too!


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## Ernest Nagel (Oct 13, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Your argument is faulty in a critical sense...
> 
> You are assuming I would think someone shallow for not being attracted to be because of my size.
> 
> ...



Gosh, how graciously condescending of you ArVee! Thanks, may I? Well, I really question my own judgment for attempting a reply where it seems there is zero interest in what I was hoping could be productively explored. Nonetheless I feel compelled to restate that this thread is not about taste or attraction and neither was my original post. It's about *sexual turn-offs* and quite clearly, from the tone of many posts, revulsion. We each of us _obviously_ have the right to our own preferences but that isn't what I'm attempting to speak to here.

Probably an equally horrible idea but let me try this from another tack. I'm a Jew, OK? That said, I would never suggest everyone should like Jews. At the same time if you find me acceptable in every other regard as a human being but reject me for friendship, employment, romance, whatever, is that OK? I'm not saying it isn't, mind you! I'm attempting to explore the boundaries between taste and discrimination. When is the line from preference to prejudice crossed? You don't like bald men. What if your paramour loses his hair? This is no different than the "you like a BBW and she loses weight, what then issue" I've seen here a thousand times. I was just trying to play with it a little differently to see if there's any possible different resolution. Thanks for your consideration! 

Tina, I sincerely regret having raised this issue here or anywhere else on the boards. If you decline to delete it I respectfully request you move it to another more appropriate board and/or thread. My hope was for some thoughtful discourse. Clearly not forthcoming. I accept my accountability for both misplaced post and expectations, so please let me respectfully and honorably withdraw. I will concede that I am Prince Wrong of the Woefully and Inevitably Wrong-Thinking Race of Men, if that helps? Mea Culpa, I will not again presume to be interested in anything other than bodacious poon-tang and porno links! Talk about finding something tiresome? Geez. :doh:


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## mossystate (Oct 13, 2007)

Whoa...Ernest...

You are the one who wanted your posts removed. You are the one who wants...demands...that the discussion be basically..about you. I think you have been GIVEN answers, they just are not what you wanted to hear.

You say you are ONLY talking about sexual turn-offs, and have not liked it when others bring anything else in to the discussion, yet you are going off about being a Jew. Unless a person is wired to like Jews because of some particular sexual or physical trait ( ? )..ummm..what does that have to do with anything..since you want to keep things on that one track.

I know you chose not to respond to my messages, but, I will say it again. Are you attracted to EVERYTHING about EVERY fat woman, just because you like ' fat women '..? You are upset over being pushed away by some women because of your hair..and that has you thrashing around...demanding that women be as ' fair ' to you as you I am SURE are to them..every single one. 

When RV said that about you getting to like what you like....ummmm...you do...pure and simple..no hot sauce.

And, how nice that you leave with the parting shot of nailing yourself to a cross, while saying that the women who have answered you are basically stupid, as ' we ' can't POSSIBLY be capable of thoughtful discourse..translation: not what Ernest wants to hear. 

And..no...its not that you don't want to talk about poon-tang..you just want to talk about how you might get some..not have said poon-tang give her opinion and feelings on a topic that you have graciously tried to steer us towards..you know, get our simple little minds off of giggling over ' hawt bois '.


Sheesh.


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## Tina (Oct 13, 2007)

Ernest Nagel said:


> Tina, I sincerely regret having raised this issue here or anywhere else on the boards. If you decline to delete it I respectfully request you move it to another more appropriate board and/or thread. My hope was for some thoughtful discourse. Clearly not forthcoming. I accept my accountability for both misplaced post and expectations, so please let me respectfully and honorably withdraw. I will concede that I am Prince Wrong of the Woefully and Inevitably Wrong-Thinking Race of Men, if that helps? Mea Culpa, I will not again presume to be interested in anything other than bodacious poon-tang and porno links! Talk about finding something tiresome? Geez. :doh:


Thing is, it was already too late to delete it, as it was getting responses. Also, there is no compelling reason to delete it. You being unhappy because the thread didn't go in the direction you wanted is not a good enough reason. Otherwise, us mods would be busier than we are already. There is also no reason to move the thread. 

You put an idea out there for discussion, it is being discussed. It's a discussion board. No one is attacking you. Disagreeing with you and not discussing things in the way that you would like them to be is just one of the 'hazards' of posting on a message board. I say this both as a mod and a fellow poster.


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## Suze (Oct 13, 2007)

Men who make womanly noises in bed.


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## mossystate (Oct 13, 2007)

susieQ said:


> Men who make womanly noises in bed.



Like ...." no!..my clit is not there..it is THERE! "..like that?...weird......


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## Suze (Oct 13, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Like ...." no!..my clit is not there..it is THERE! "..like that?...weird......


lol!
Well...this dude was rather feminine in all sorts of ways…at first I thought he was gay, but after a few drinks.... ----> :batting: :kiss2:
I guess this is God punishing me for being a slut on the town  
(which I’m usually not, just to set the records straight!)


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## Seth Warren (Oct 13, 2007)

susieQ said:


> lol!
> Well...this dude was rather feminine in all sorts of waysat first I thought he was gay, but after a few drinks.... ----> :batting: :kiss2:
> I guess this is God punishing me for being a slut on the town
> (which Im usually not, just to set the records straight!)




Funny...after a few drinks, doesn't it usually go the other way around?


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## Suze (Oct 13, 2007)

Seth Warren said:


> Funny...after a few drinks, doesn't it usually go the other way around?



Im a backwards kinda person


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 13, 2007)

Ernest Nagel said:


> I will concede that I am Prince Wrong of the Woefully and Inevitably Wrong-Thinking Race of Men, if that helps? Mea Culpa, I will not again presume to be interested in anything other than bodacious poon-tang and porno links! Talk about finding something tiresome? Geez. :doh:



Ernest Nagel, I am so in love with you right now. You put the passive in aggressive, bay-bee. 

OK, seriously: I have been confused about what you are attempting to discuss, Ernest. Perhaps you could have clarified without getting all defensive (or implying that maybe we're just too dim-witted to 'get' it). 

It seems to me that you are saying that discrimination exists in what we find to be a sexual turn-off. You keep on asserting that you're not discussing what people find attractive, but to me, the two issues are just the flip side to a very thin coin. I can't help what I find to be a turn OFF, either. Body hair is not something that I find appealing. But then, for every woman like me, you'll find a dozen more who associate lots of body hair with virility and masculinity, and they really dig it. 

I don't think that any kind of discrimination exists in people who do not find me sexually appealing. There are things about me that would be absolute deal-breakers to some people. To my husband, these very same things are part of what he loves about me. What can I say ... he's a discriminating bastard


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## RedVelvet (Oct 13, 2007)

Ernest Nagel said:


> Gosh, how graciously condescending of you ArVee! Thanks, may I? Well, I really question my own judgment for attempting a reply where it seems there is zero interest in what I was hoping could be productively explored.
> ........I will not again presume to be interested in anything other than bodacious poon-tang and porno links! Talk about finding something tiresome? Geez. :doh:




Ok....for the record...I like a lot of bald men.

And hairy men...and stuff like that....but that aside?

That was one nasty, mean post.

Really nasty.

And here I thought we were becoming friends. You certainly assumed the worst in me lightening fast.

Well done.


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## mossystate (Oct 13, 2007)

Well, you know how ' they ' say that intimacy starts long before you hit the bedroom ..or kitchen counter? A real turn-off is a too controlling man who does not see a human being..only a means to his end..and damn her if she opens her mouth, other than to coo...or...hmmmm..yeah....nice.

*sigh*


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## RedVelvet (Oct 13, 2007)

mossystate said:


> The rest of your post was what I said..just more..wordy, which is your bloated style...however...you sooooo chose the right golden bow at the end...:kiss2: :kiss2:
> 
> damn:doh: ..I mean ...thanks!!..heh





At least with me...what you see is what you get.

I don't turn on a dime...


Consistency is sex-ay!


Happy Birthday, Tracilove.......from one bitch to another.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Oct 13, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> At least with me...what you see is what you get.
> 
> I don't turn on a dime...
> 
> ...



Can I be Queen Bitch? Just for today, you understand


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## RedVelvet (Oct 13, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> Can I be Queen Bitch? Just for today, you understand




As Empress, I have no problem with that at all....







Just kidding, love....you get to be the Empress of Anything You Damn Well Please....



And just to announce it?




I REALLY LIKE TRACI AND MOSSY A WHOLE FECKING LOT! Fine, kind, deeply thoughtful and caring women with excellent brains, good sense, big hearts and sane minds. Beautiful too.

Such a Turn ON.


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## Eclectic_Girl (Oct 13, 2007)

Ernest Nagel said:


> Well, yeah I get and respect all that. But we're not talking "attraction" here, are we? This is about sexual turnoffs, right? I have been with women on several occasions who seemed nuts about me until they saw me with my shirt off. There may even be some analogy here for BBW and online relationships? The thing about being hairy is it's just not always quite so evident until you hit the old Wamsutta's.



How is that any different from any other "deal-breaker"? A lot of what you term behavioral turn-offs are the same way - it takes a while before they make themselves apparent. I've been really attracted to someone until I saw him smoking. It's not that my initial attraction was false or that my turn-off was shallow, it's just that I hadn't yet learned that there was an incompatibility.

For example, I, personally, have no strong feelings either way about body hair. When the shirt comes off, I note the degree of furriness, but to me it's just one more detail in a constellation of qualities that constitute the whole person. There are pros (soft!) and cons (harder to massage without giving pain) about hairy, and pros (smooth!) and cons (can look effeminate) about hairless. I make a point of appreciating the pros and not dwelling on the cons, but it's not because I'm such a wonderfully forgiving and deep person, it's because hairyness is not that big an issue for me. For someone else, it might be the thing that makes or breaks an attraction. No explaining it, just how they're wired. No apologies necessary, and any attempt at "overcoming their prejudice" is masochistic denial of their true sexuality in the guise of personal enlightenment. 

As to the issue of Fat/Size Acceptance, I agree with Tina. It is a very different thing from Fat Admiration. The latter is about attraction, which can not be regulated or legislated. The former is about human rights and human dignity. Would it be hypocritical for me, a fat woman, as a member of an oppressed group, to refuse to hire or rent an apartment to a dwarf or a latino? Yes. But no more so than if I were a lesbian refusing to do so. But who I want to spend naked time with is subject to a wide variety of preferences, and they aren't always politically correct. 

Back on topic - turn-offs:
Smoking
Narcissism
Childish and self-pitying whining


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## RedVelvet (Oct 13, 2007)

One of the scariest things about Narcissism, besides being one of the personality disorders considered the almost impossible to treat, is that they can often come off as very articulate and sharp and even kind people when you first meet them.

And then................whooooo!


very scary.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 13, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> God.....I'm a complete pervert.



Braggart......


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 13, 2007)

mossystate said:


> And, how nice that you leave with the parting shot of nailing yourself to a cross, while saying that the women who have answered you are basically stupid, as ' we ' can't POSSIBLY be capable of thoughtful discourse..translation: not what Ernest wants to hear.
> 
> And..no...its not that you don't want to talk about poon-tang..you just want to talk about how you might get some..not have said poon-tang give her opinion and feelings on a topic that you have graciously tried to steer us towards..you know, get our simple little minds off of giggling over ' hawt bois '.



Wow, shot straight to the heart of the matter
You soooooooooooo deserve a good shoe licking for this......:batting: :wubu:


Oh, just want to add that body hair on a man doesn't turn me off. 

Turn offs that have nothing to do with the physical? (which is what I originally posted, btw)

Men that come off as being angry at women in general
Men that try to paint themselves as "victims of women"
Men that seem to think that all women should adjust and change to suit the needs/wants of a man- yet want to be accepted "unconditionally" themselves i.e. men that expect YOU to change while never willing to do any soul searching of their own or recognize their own shortcomings.
Men that judge women harshly for being as human as any man.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 13, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> Body hair is not something that I find appealing. But then, for every woman like me, you'll find a dozen more who associate lots of body hair with virility and masculinity, and they really dig it.



Personally, I find it very masculine. Do I INSIST a man be hairy to "get with me"?
No...they are okay without hair too. A man's hairiness is really a "non-issue" for me. 
See? We really exist :happy:


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## RedVelvet (Oct 13, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Men that come off as being angry at women in general
> Men that try to paint themselves as "victims of women"
> Men that seem to think that all women should adjust and change to suit the needs/wants of a man- yet want to be accepted "unconditionally" themselves i.e. men that expect YOU to change while never willing to do any soul searching of their own or recognize their own shortcomings.
> Men that judge women harshly for being as human as any man.




oh my gosh....you must be one of those "board bitches" I hear I am so much about...

ahem...


----------



## Fuzzy Necromancer (Oct 14, 2007)

Rebecca said:


> Guys who associate the potential for me to have an orgasm on the size of their penis.
> 
> Married men who hit on me.



Those are right up there in my top turn-offs too.


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 14, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> oh my gosh....you must be one of those "board bitches" I hear I am so much about...
> 
> ahem...



I'm one of those bored bitches you've been hearing about


----------



## Canonista (Oct 14, 2007)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> Those are right up there in my top turn-offs too.



When I was married I swear that ring was a bullseye. There sure seem to be plenty of women who'll make advances on married men. I never cheated, but if I were the sort who would there were plenty of opportunities from women who made it plain that they didn't care that I was married.


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## LoveBHMS (Oct 14, 2007)

Canonista said:


> When I was married I swear that ring was a bullseye. There sure seem to be plenty of women who'll make advances on married men. I never cheated, but if I were the sort who would there were plenty of opportunities from women who made it plain that they didn't care that I was married.



I've encountered plenty of men who make advances on me, and they make it plain they don't care if they are married.


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## Admiral_Snackbar (Oct 15, 2007)

Canonista said:


> When I was married I swear that ring was a bullseye. There sure seem to be plenty of women who'll make advances on married men. I never cheated, but if I were the sort who would there were plenty of opportunities from women who made it plain that they didn't care that I was married.



Well, the joke was originally in two parts: It's not a wedding ring; to your spouse it's a +5 Ring of Protection from Fellatio and to single women it's a +10 Ring of Erotic Enhancement. I cannot comment on either aspect, except to reference the classic Chris Rock rant about it.

It's a classic hunter/gatherer thing. Some women are attracted to a family man, someone with stability and good fathering/provider skills. Then again, what men and women want and what they want right NOW are often two different things, based on the phase of the moon, the issue of People magazine and what their football team is doing in a given week. 

I get the bullseye vibe when I go into stores with just my boys. Women see a man being a good father and kids being all lovey with him and it's like some Twilight Zone version of Spanish Fly. I had a pic on my office shelf of me walking hand in hand with my boy on his first Father's Day. You could almost hear the estrogen release when the ladies saw it. I wish to hell I could sense pheromones better. I am almost certain there is some sort of pattern.


----------



## Ernest Nagel (Oct 15, 2007)

I would like to offer my sincere and humble apology to RedVelvet, et al, for my truly execrable and inexcusable post on this thread Friday night late. I could offer miscellaneous extenuating circumstances but bottom line, I was drunk and in a foul mood. I had no business on this board or anywhere else in society at that moment and accept full responsibility for any harm or hurt feelings caused by that or any related posts. In spite of that wretched post I have the highest regards for the people of these boards. If any of the parties involved feel my offense warrants exclusion from further participation here, simply PM me and I will accept your assessment without reservation or further comment. Thank you for your consideration.

I also offer my incidental apology to those who have had this generally entertaining thread disrupted by my post or the ensuing fallout.


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## Admiral_Snackbar (Oct 15, 2007)

Ernest Nagel said:


> I also offer my incidental apology to those who have had this generally entertaining thread disrupted by my post or the ensuing fallout.


 If there's one thing I've always said, the Internet is an amazing communication tool, allowing us to reach out and connect with other people in ways we could never conceive of prior to it's existence. Love, hate, gratitude, apologies. All of the human experience condensed into our written language poured out for all to read and ponder.

However, much like the Babel Fish, I can see it (in the wrong hands) as one day being responsible for more wars and deaths than anything else in the history of creation.


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## mossystate (Oct 15, 2007)

I know an apology is always the best when I am ...et al....just keep moving is all I can say on my end.


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## mossystate (Oct 15, 2007)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> I get the bullseye vibe when I go into stores with just my boys. Women see a man being a good father and kids being all lovey with him and it's like some Twilight Zone version of Spanish Fly. I had a pic on my office shelf of me walking hand in hand with my boy on his first Father's Day. You could almost hear the estrogen release when the ladies saw it. I wish to hell I could sense pheromones better. I am almost certain there is some sort of pattern.



Heh..SOME women..I know that I have noticed so many fathers kind of use their kids ( not saying you do this )..even subtly..that I now make a point of not looking their way and smiling. I will reward such behavior..


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## Friday (Oct 15, 2007)

Oh shit, I got a couple of PWI's* when I first started posting. That kick yourself in the morning thing sucks.

**P*osting*W*hile*I*ntoxicated


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## mossystate (Oct 15, 2007)

oops...meant to say..will NOT reward that behavior...heh


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## liz (di-va) (Oct 15, 2007)

So, like, not having sex is a turn-off. It's better to, like, have sex.


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## BigCutieSasha (Oct 15, 2007)

My biggest turn off? Bad breath and/or morning breath, calling me someone elses name when we aren't role playing, and playing the soundtrack to the movie Pete's Dragon as "mood" music. Yes... that last one HAS actually happened to me.


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## supersoup (Oct 15, 2007)

BigCutieSasha said:


> playing the soundtrack to the movie Pete's Dragon as "mood" music. Yes... that last one HAS actually happened to me.



but...but...maybe he felt it was a 'razzle dazzle day'!!!

 

tee hee...


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 15, 2007)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> Well, the joke was originally in two parts: It's not a wedding ring; to your spouse it's a +5 Ring of Protection from Fellatio and to single women it's a +10 Ring of Erotic Enhancement. I cannot comment on either aspect, except to reference the classic Chris Rock rant about it.
> 
> It's a classic hunter/gatherer thing. Some women are attracted to a family man, someone with stability and good fathering/provider skills. Then again, what men and women want and what they want right NOW are often two different things, based on the phase of the moon, the issue of People magazine and what their football team is doing in a given week.
> 
> I get the bullseye vibe when I go into stores with just my boys. Women see a man being a good father and kids being all lovey with him and it's like some Twilight Zone version of Spanish Fly. I had a pic on my office shelf of me walking hand in hand with my boy on his first Father's Day. You could almost hear the estrogen release when the ladies saw it. I wish to hell I could sense pheromones better. I am almost certain there is some sort of pattern.



I can't imagine being turned on by watching a family man with his children, Admiral. I find intelligence & wit sexy, which are traits that you have in abundance :smitten: ... but my eyes are never drawn to men nurturing their children. In fact, the very idea horrifies me ... that *any* woman would find that a sexually attractive trait in a man. What in the hell are they thinking?!?!? "Wow, I gotta get me this fine hunk of fatherly man, coz the thought of possibly breaking up a marriage and ruining the lives of innocent children is HAWT!" 

If I saw you at play with your adorable boys, I would probably smile at you and make a bit of a fuss over how cute they are. But believe me, gettin' witcha would be the last thing on my mind. I would just be thinking, what a good father & what cute boys. I'm not doubting that you are getting these signals, AS, but I wonder if it's for the reason that you think it is. Maybe they just see an attractive man, someone who is obviously in a committed relationship, which basically means the possibility of a hot fling with no strings attached. No less morally bankrupt, but a tad less evil than wanting a man with children because he's such a nurturing daddy.


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## Admiral_Snackbar (Oct 15, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Heh..SOME women..I know that I have noticed so many fathers kind of use their kids ( not saying you do this )..even subtly..that I now make a point of not looking their way and smiling. I will reward such behavior..


 To be perfectly honest, it's my oldest boy I have to watch for with the flirtation. Due to his outspoken affection and positive affirmation of the existence of breasts, he very easily gets himself in situations that would get his father arrested if he were to emulate. Side note: I bought him a wall-sized poster of the Justice League and put it up a couple weeks ago...he looks at it, sees Power Girlflying and says "Daddy, she's got some HUGE boobies!" After affirming that she did indeed have rather large mammary glands, I kindly steered him to the other less pulchritudinous super heroines. You ever notice most of them are really well-endowed in the chesticle area? Doesn't that somehow interfere with the flight dynamic? Anyway, I never use my kids in that manner, but it's interesting to see how women's perspectives of me change when they see me with the boys. I feel like I'm being sized up or something; I'm not a piece of meat, but if you're going to be treating me like one, please use tenderizer 



TraciJo67 said:


> Maybe they just see an attractive man, someone who is obviously in a committed relationship, which basically means the possibility of a hot fling with no strings attached. No less morally bankrupt, but a tad less evil than wanting a man with children because he's such a nurturing daddy.


 On this note, I will use my find command of the English language and say nothing. You're rather Faustian in your dealings, Ms. TraciJo, with a sort of "may you live in interesting times" style about yourself


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 15, 2007)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> To be perfectly honest, it's my oldest boy I have to watch for with the flirtation. Due to his outspoken affection and positive affirmation of the existence of breasts, he very easily gets himself in situations that would get his father arrested if he were to emulate. Side note: I bought him a wall-sized poster of the Justice League and put it up a couple weeks ago...he looks at it, sees Power Girlflying and says "Daddy, she's got some HUGE boobies!" After affirming that she did indeed have rather large mammary glands, I kindly steered him to the other less pulchritudinous super heroines. You ever notice most of them are really well-endowed in the chesticle area? Doesn't that somehow interfere with the flight dynamic? Anyway, I never use my kids in that manner, but it's interesting to see how women's perspectives of me change when they see me with the boys. I feel like I'm being sized up or something; I'm not a piece of meat, but if you're going to be treating me like one, please use tenderizer
> 
> On this note, I will use my find command of the English language and say nothing. You're rather Faustian in your dealings, Ms. TraciJo, with a sort of "may you live in interesting times" style about yourself



AS, believe me, I'm not trying to compliment slash insult you. I like you. Loads, even  

But I read what you were saying as, "there's a really good father and I want that because chances are he'd be a good daddy to my children" (that whole hunter-gatherer tangent). To me, that is so evil, to want a man for that reason, when he's *already* a husband & father. You were, it seemed to me, implying that this happens to you on a fairly regular basis. I just cannot ... will not ... believe that there are a lot of women who are like this.

I was just pointing out that maybe your tots in the background ARE JUST THAT ... in the BACKGROUND ... and you're getting the googly-eye because you're attractive & maybe, just a tad bit non-threatening, to women who aren't exactly looking for sugar daddies and/or husbands. THAT, I can understand, even if I don't agree with it. 

The other thing ... implies that women are weak and selfish ... and while I will believe that about SOME of us, it is difficult for me to believe that it happens regularly. I don't want to believe that.

P.S. May you live in interesting times.


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## mimosa (Oct 15, 2007)

I agree with you on that one, TJ.

Now my turn off. When men think I am just looking for a father figure for my son. NOPE , my son already has an amazing Dad. I am the one that needs.....like my Mexican Mama says:"Un Papasito" http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=papasito




TraciJo67 said:


> I can't imagine being turned on by watching a family man with his children, Admiral. I find intelligence & wit sexy, which are traits that you have in abundance :smitten: ... but my eyes are never drawn to men nurturing their children. In fact, the very idea horrifies me ... that *any* woman would find that a sexually attractive trait in a man. What in the hell are they thinking?!?!? "Wow, I gotta get me this fine hunk of fatherly man, coz the thought of possibly breaking up a marriage and ruining the lives of innocent children is HAWT!"
> 
> If I saw you at play with your adorable boys, I would probably smile at you and make a bit of a fuss over how cute they are. But believe me, gettin' witcha would be the last thing on my mind. I would just be thinking, what a good father & what cute boys. I'm not doubting that you are getting these signals, AS, but I wonder if it's for the reason that you think it is. Maybe they just see an attractive man, someone who is obviously in a committed relationship, which basically means the possibility of a hot fling with no strings attached. No less morally bankrupt, but a tad less evil than wanting a man with children because he's such a nurturing daddy.


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## RedVelvet (Oct 15, 2007)

oh gosh....my heart belongs to "Daddy" too....(not my real Daddy, of course...)

In fact...I am happy to dress up and sit on his lap and tell him that....and..and..

oh..wait..right..."turn off "thread....


Im not supposed to turn YOU all off...just my own stuff...


sorry....


</pervert>


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## RedVelvet (Oct 15, 2007)

See...I am right in the middle of the Admirals and TRaci's feelings..


In truth..I DO find cute dads with their kids sexy too look at.............BUT...and this is important.... they hold NO appeal as something to pursue.

The idea of "taking" someone else's partner is the most unappealing thing in the entire world to me. 

Feh...its like winning a turd rolled in glitter.



The Admiral is darling on his own, anyway.


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 15, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Feh...its like winning a turd rolled in glitter.



I, for one, *adore* turds rolled in glitter.



> The Admiral is darling on his own, anyway.




Back off, sister. He's *my* break-up-the-marriage doting father of two no-so-secret crush


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## RedVelvet (Oct 15, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> Back off, sister. He's *my* break-up-the-marriage doting father of two no-so-secret crush



Admiral! Cat fight! Wanna watch? We will wear superhero costumes!


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 15, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Admiral! Cat fight! Wanna watch? We will wear superhero costumes!



No, YOU will be the superhero. I'm going to steal Mossy's crotchless bumblebee costume.

Hmm. Come to think of it, that would make me a superhero of another sort.





P.S. I really just wanted an excuse to drag Mossy back into this thread.


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## RedVelvet (Oct 15, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> P.S. I really just wanted an excuse to drag Mossy back into this thread.




Thats cuz everything is better with a little Mossy in it!


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## RedVelvet (Oct 15, 2007)

heh..just saying.. 

View attachment supergirls.jpg


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## mossystate (Oct 15, 2007)

Sorry, girls...I am sitting here reading an insulting missive in my MSN mail...will get back to the depravity in minutes.....


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 19, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> See...I am right in the middle of the Admirals and TRaci's feelings..
> 
> 
> In truth..I DO find cute dads with their kids sexy too look at.............BUT...and this is important.... they hold NO appeal as something to pursue.
> ...



You know, when I look at a guy in a totally detached way and "dissect" him for physical attractiveness, I think nothing of those "other issues or attractions". However, when looking at the attractiveness in a more personal way i.e. thinking about that person with me, then the Daddy factor gets more involved in my thinking. I find a man that apparently loves his children and family is "safer" to me in my thinking- he doesn't strike me as being such a "predator" in the back of my mind and my guard seems to ease down just the slightest bit.
So often time, I see men that have children but abandon them or neglect them in some ways, not caring about the long lasting effects they have on their children's lives. A guy like that is a definite turn-off, hence perhaps why the thinking came about that males that love their mates and children seem to have "more" in some capacity thus making them seem more attractive.
I don't want to think of my Dad at all during sex....or mention children. However, I do like a dominant male in bed- and I'm sure the psychology of that takes me straight back to my father. Can't escape my daddy issues.....


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## RedVelvet (Oct 19, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> So often time, I see men that have children but abandon them or neglect them in some ways, not caring about the long lasting effects they have on their children's lives. A guy like that is a definite turn-off, hence perhaps why the thinking came about that males that love their mates and children seem to have "more" in some capacity thus making them seem more attractive.
> I don't want to think of my Dad at all during sex....or mention children. However, I do like a dominant male in bed- and I'm sure the psychology of that takes me straight back to my father. Can't escape my daddy issues.....



Dont even get me STARTED on the Daddy thing....(she said...eyeing the line of mary janes in her closet...)


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## JSmirkingRevenge (Oct 19, 2007)

ok, so I will come out and say it. "dirty talk".... just doesn't do it for me. i don't want to sit around and TALK about it. i want to DO IT.


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## AVAcado (Oct 19, 2007)

Mmmm, Let's see:
Bad Teeth
Bad Kissing
Being badly kissed by someone with bad teeth
Dirty smelly feet
(Ugh, overall unkempt hygiene)
Overall insensitivity of a person's charactor


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## Renaissance Woman (Oct 20, 2007)

BigCutieSasha said:


> My biggest turn off? Bad breath and/or morning breath, calling me someone elses name when we aren't role playing, and playing the soundtrack to the movie Pete's Dragon as "mood" music. Yes... that last one HAS actually happened to me.


But you said you liked Disney. And dragons. I....I thought you'd like it.


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## fasteddie1 (Oct 20, 2007)

JSmirkingRevenge said:


> um, to date the biggest turn off for me thus far has been someone taking a call during sex.
> 
> i mean, seriously. who does that?



Morons? 

That is so tacky.


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 20, 2007)

AVAcado said:


> Mmmm, Let's see:
> Bad Teeth
> Bad Kissing
> Being badly kissed by someone with bad teeth
> ...



Bad teeth ... check.
Bad kissing ... check.
Being badly kissed by someone with bad teeth ... ch ... 

Uh. Wait a minute. Given #1, and your aversion to #2, why would you even let #3 happen?


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## BigCutieSasha (Oct 22, 2007)

Renaissance Woman said:


> But you said you liked Disney. And dragons. I....I thought you'd like it.



Well see I figured we were talking about turn off's with guys. You know I love when you sing your Pete's Dragon song for me.


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## BBWQueen33 (Oct 24, 2007)

Would definately have to be when your S.O. farts while you're in the middle of making love. Yep, that does it. I'm done.


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## Admiral_Snackbar (Oct 24, 2007)

BBWQueen33 said:


> Would definately have to be when your S.O. farts while you're in the middle of making love. Yep, that does it. I'm done.


The most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me was when a former gf and I went out for a very nice yet rich Italian dinner.

Back at her place during a heavy makeout session, I belched in her face. Totally involuntary, and I never recovered from it. After she stopped laughing long enough to take a breath, she was over it. I spent the night mortified and she just kept hugging me for feeling so bad about it. So, little date tip, take some Tums and breath mints after a dinner out. It will pay off in the long run.


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## snuggletiger (Oct 25, 2007)

Women who get touchy feely after getting snockered. Its like "Gee I am not good enough to be around when you're sober. Thanks for the confidence boost not."


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## RedVelvet (Oct 25, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> Women who get touchy feely after getting snockered. Its like "Gee I am not good enough to be around when you're sober. Thanks for the confidence boost not."



Whelp...thats one way to look at it.

Lots of ways to go there, tho..

One....getting tipsy loosens inhibitions.

Two...losing of said inhibitions is not the same as "beer goggles for women". Lots of other social dynamics are there. Complicated, madonna/whore dynamics that are so ground in they are unconscious.


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## Jes (Oct 25, 2007)

generally speaking, liquor doesn't make me amorous.

but champagne? dear god, I don't know what kind of crazy voodoo potion is in there, but it makes me go all tingly with that 'hurry up dude, my parents will be home in an hour!' feeling. 

I should do a test and see if prosecco works, or only genuine champagne...


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## snuggletiger (Oct 25, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Whelp...thats one way to look at it.
> 
> Lots of ways to go there, tho..
> 
> ...



For me its the whole "Can't you just like me for me thing?" and maybe that's alot to ask for.


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## RedVelvet (Oct 25, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> For me its the whole "Can't you just like me for me thing?" and maybe that's alot to ask for.




Hmm.....a "lot to ask for"? Surely you are exaggerating for effect.


Women smell "bitter" on a man, sugarpie.........dont let that happen to your cute self..


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## RedVelvet (Oct 25, 2007)

Jes said:


> generally speaking, liquor doesn't make me amorous.
> 
> but champagne? dear god, I don't know what kind of crazy voodoo potion is in there, but it makes me go all tingly with that 'hurry up dude, my parents will be home in an hour!' feeling.
> 
> I should do a test and see if prosecco works, or only genuine champagne...




Or maybe Spumanti makes you randy, but only for Nicolas Cage.


(shudder..)


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## snuggletiger (Oct 25, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Hmm.....a "lot to ask for"? Surely you are exaggerating for effect.
> 
> 
> Women smell "bitter" on a man, sugarpie.........dont let that happen to your cute self..



Not bitter just perplexed.


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## RedVelvet (Oct 25, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> Not bitter just perplexed.




That, I fear....never goes away.

There are many things that people do, especially with regards to love and sex, that will baffle me forever, and I consider myself fairly savvy.

What I find, really..is that humans are basically cowardly. Most would rather swim through a river of shite before having an uncomfortable conversation.

Most would rather be insanely cruel to another rather than give them some polite closure....(eep!...some disapproval might get on my shoes!..oh noes!)

I don't understand humans.


I just like to fuck them....some of them anyway.

Todays people I want to fuck:

Tom Welling and Joan Jett..

YAY!


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## snuggletiger (Oct 25, 2007)

I just find that dating/sex/flirting et all would be alot easier for me if I had a group of cue cards to read off of, to avoid those quirkly uncomfortable moments or a 2nd Banana to bounce funny lines off of.


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## RedVelvet (Oct 25, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> I just find that dating/sex/flirting et all would be alot easier for me if I had a group of cue cards to read off of, to avoid those quirkly uncomfortable moments or a 2nd Banana to bounce funny lines off of.




There's a guy who dresses like a banana that frequents the chat room.

I don't recommend him tho.

Ew.


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## snuggletiger (Oct 25, 2007)

Either that or a game show host to let you know that you found the gal of your dreams, someone respectable ala Monty Hall or even a Wink Martindale in case Mr. Hall was booked up. Especially after hearing for years people tell me "when you find 'THE ONE' You'll just know". 

But getting back to the original question another turn off is the woman who hates to cuddle.


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## RedVelvet (Oct 25, 2007)

Turn off:



Men (or women) who say....oh..."I am SO ORAL!"..."no REALLY.....no one is more oral than me....and I don't mean receiving, baby.."

For starters..."oral"?....do you call it your pee pee or your hoo hoo as well? 

Two...so very often....those who profess to "love it" are there for 3-5 minutes and simply baffled why you have not soaked the bed yet.

:doh:

Patience, skywalker....patience.


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 25, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Turn off:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



1). I hate hate HATE pet names for genitals. For God's sake, it's my pussy (or vagina, if you absolutely must) ... not my 'love petals' or 'blossom' or ::: shudder ::: 'mousey-wousey'.

2). 3-5 minutes? THAT LONG?!?!? Arv, can I have your leftovers? 

3). I may seriously have to reconsider posting from work. That is all.


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## mossystate (Oct 25, 2007)

After 3 minutes, I, like a sneaky raccoon, reach to the side and then under..and I pop the water balloon I always have nearby..because no man should be made to feel inadequate for not wanting to stay between my legs for more time than it takes for two commercials..some women and the way they demand things..made it harder on the rest of us nice gals...sorry guys, you are all gumdrops to me.:wubu:


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## RedVelvet (Oct 25, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> 1). I hate hate HATE pet names for genitals. For God's sake, it's my pussy (or vagina, if you absolutely must) ... not my 'love petals' or 'blossom' or ::: shudder ::: 'mousey-wousey'.
> 
> 2). 3-5 minutes? THAT LONG?!?!? Arv, can I have your leftovers?
> 
> 3). I may seriously have to reconsider posting from work. That is all.




Nowai. Traci goez i dye. plz pozt inna dai!




Yes...you may have my leftovers....You flirt so charmingly.



Finally...I use the word kitty, as a polite term for pussy.....but mostly I use the word cunt.

Now THATS a turn off for many women. 

I happen to think its hot.

I realize this makes me somewhat unusual.


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## RedVelvet (Oct 25, 2007)

mossystate said:


> After 3 minutes, I, like a sneaky raccoon, reach to the side and then under..and I pop the water balloon I always have nearby..because no man should be made to feel inadequate for not wanting to stay between my legs for more time than it takes for two commercials..some women and the way they demand things..made it harder on the rest of us nice gals...sorry guys, you are all gumdrops to me.:wubu:





mmmm....spicy gumdrops.

I love them.


And thanks for fucking it up for the rest of us, "nice" woman. 

Good thing you are so lovely.

And I am crazy about you in general.

And Stuff.


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## snuggletiger (Oct 25, 2007)

oooooooooo stufff *ears perk up*


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## RedVelvet (Oct 25, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> oooooooooo stufff *ears perk up*




oh no no....purely platonic....I assure you..


at least..on Mossy's end......(exaggerated, wistful sigh with eyeroll...)


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## Tina (Oct 25, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> For me its the whole "Can't you just like me for me thing?" and maybe that's alot to ask for.


But snuggle, has it ever occurred to you that maybe it has nothing to do with making you more attractive, but more to do with making them less shy and therefore able to make a move?


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## JSmirkingRevenge (Oct 25, 2007)

Tina said:


> But snuggle, has it ever occurred to you that maybe it has nothing to do with making you more attractive, but more to do with making them less shy and therefore able to make a move?



personally, that's what happens to me. i don't drink all that often, but if/when i do i find that it brings out the flirt in me. and it's not because suddenly all these men are attractive, it's because i just don't care if i get shot down. 

now that's not to say i can't flirt when sober, but having a few drinks in me just allows me to make it a lot more obvious.


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## hadesnuggz (Oct 25, 2007)

same here, same here^^^


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## Admiral_Snackbar (Oct 25, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Turn off:
> Men (or women) who say....oh..."I am SO ORAL!"..."no REALLY.....no one is more oral than me....and I don't mean receiving, baby.."
> 
> For starters..."oral"?....do you call it your pee pee or your hoo hoo as well?
> ...


I guess they're not the 'cunning linguists' the say they are. 

I hear you for the patience factor. It's a science and an art. Those few women who can climax after a feather touch of their girly parts; yay, good for you girls, the three of you can go stand over THERE. The rest of us who worship the _mons veneris_ need to do our tongue and finger exercises to keep fit for what can be the most pleasurable hours of the evening. 

"For the Jedi it is time to eat as well." Yoda was the balls.


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## snuggletiger (Oct 25, 2007)

Tina said:


> But snuggle, has it ever occurred to you that maybe it has nothing to do with making you more attractive, but more to do with making them less shy and therefore able to make a move?



Good point. Its all just weird science to me. Too bad there wasn't like a rule book for stuff like that, hence why I should have a cue card person with lines, or Monty Hall


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## RedVelvet (Oct 25, 2007)

Tina said:


> But snuggle, has it ever occurred to you that maybe it has nothing to do with making you more attractive, but more to do with making them less shy and therefore able to make a move?



But.....but...but....

I guess I was too obtuse.


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## cold comfort (Oct 26, 2007)

alright... i've mainly avoided this list because i knew i can be pretty particular with this stuff. i'm picky, and it can be a curse and a blessing ... but whatever. it's all about personal opinions anyways.

so this started with like, a list of a-h. and then i kindof laughed and mentioned to someone that i could probably bust out the entire alphabet of turn-offs from bad experiences.

game on.

if anyone honestly reads all of these ... good god, let me know and i will r-e-p you. and r-e-s-p-e-c-t you, oh yes. and slightly pity you, but that's just a side thing. 

_now don't get me wrong ... there are a lotttttt of little things that can, very easily, turn me waaaay on.
however, there's definitely a good handful of things that can totally turn me off. with that being said. _

*a.* bad teeth. and i'm not even talking like, not straight, or perfect, or whatever ... that's fine. but if you're like, misssssing teeth, well. that's a problem. and even moreso, if you neglect to care for your teeth (whether you don't brush or more importantly don't FLOSS) ... that's a definite deal-breaker. if you open your mouth and i see fuzzy teeth or seriously corn-yellow teeth ... well ... there's no way i'm going to get close to THAT.

*b.* bad smells. i gag from them. seriously.

*c.* i guess a and b can be slightly related to my point here: bad hygeine. honestly? i'm not going to want to get all up in someone's grill if it's unclean, you know? maintenance, dude, maintenance.

*d.* baby talk. someone already hit this dead on. baby talk, nicknames, whatever. i'm a vulgar girl, so if i'm with a guy that can't open up and say it like it is ... well then ... meh. it definitely doesn't turn me on, that's for sure.

*e.* admitting to me you have a baby mama you _live_ with and expecting our casual physical relationship to continue. sorry. i refuse to be included in baby mama drama, papa. 

*f.* super vocal guys in bed. and i don't mean the occasional moan ... that, in my opinion, is a really good thing ... a very good thing. a turn-ON. however ... there can be a line you can cross, and when that line is crossed ... i'm not so much in this  mood anymore, but rather in this  mood. one time... despite the fact that the guy was totally going at it and doing his thing ... the only thing i could think of was ... 'is this vocalization really that necessary?' and whenever the person you're fucking is thinking a ridiculous question like that instead of forgetting their name ... well, that's not a good thing.

*g.* super non-vocal guys. hi, are you here? yes? maybe? oh ... oh oh oh ... i think i just heard a gasp. c'moooon, show some enthuuusiasm!

*h.* this video sums this point up pretty perfectly: that has got to be ...

*i.* poor kissers. just as much as it sucks to be with a guy that totally lacks a passionate lip-lock ... it also sucks to be with a dude way too aggressive. i had a guy that went to bite my lower lip once (when done correctly, i certainly approve), and i swear to god he almost ripped the thing off. seriously. i tasted blood. unnecessary.

*j.* if you're too polite ... or wimpy ... in the sack. don't say please, don't ask me if i'm enjoying myself (you should be able to tell, i'm not hard to read), don't say thank you ... at least for me personally ... i don't like to hear any of that. as *poison* so gracefully put it:_ baby, talk dirty to me_. i'll tag submission onto the end of this letter.

_... seriously, at this point, i'm just trying to make it through the alphabet with this shit ... aaand focus. _:blink:

*k.* do not attempt to thoroughly converse with me while we're fucking. awkward. my mind should not be there.

*l.* a one-minute man (oh. how disappointing).

*m.* is for marathon man (what time is it? i could really go for a snack).
*
n.* excessive body hair. and just like a dude, most likely, isn't going to want to find a huge er, bush ... on me ... i don't care to find anything of the like on him either.

*o.* if you have longer fingernails than me ... well, no. not a good thing.

*p.* acting like you're a foreigner to the bedroom ... even if you are ... confidence is a big, big, biiiiig turn-ON. lack of confidence, justly such, is a bit of a turn-OFF.

*q.* confidence in your appearance too. i know guys here preach about how they seek in a larger woman the confidence in her body. well it goes both ways. nothing is worse than being with a guy who puts himself/his body down. i don't want to hear that kind of self-pity party. and if i'm into you? well than you pass the appearance test. don't go and put yourself down, because that makes me feel like an ass for finding someone attractive who can't even find themselves attractive.

*r. *even the remote idea of anal sex. uh, as far as i'm concerned, abso-fucking-lutely not, sir. 

*s.* s is for selfishness ... in the sack. tsk, tsk. 

*t.* t is for ... talking the talk ... and definitely not walking the walk. as addressed earlier on this page, or last page. it's been about half-an-hour now. anything could've happened. it could be armageddon outside and i'm trying to make a list of 26 personal turn-offs.

*u.* sponge-bob square pants boxers? game. over. that was an unfortunate hook-up.

*v. *jesus christ, i'm seriously about to pull off the alphabet of no-no's. it's already been mentioned, and i agree: smokers. it's something i can admittingly get over easy enough ... but if it's so bad that it just lingers all over you ... well: refer to (b).

*w.* lame tattoos. grant it, cool tattoos can definitely be a turn-on ... but it's a delicate subject. one guy had one of those ... tribal bands on his bicep. i know it was definitely an "in" thing to do awhile ago ... but like, now? well that's unfortunate. it's hard to take you serious.

*x.* lame piercings. _especially_ on a guy. i was with a dude awhile ago that had a tongue piercing and it just felt wrong. a) it was 2006. b) you're a guy. c) just comes off trashy.

*y.* i'm mainly clarifying a point from before here. i'm a vulgar girl ... but just as distracting as baby talk/ridiculous nicknames could possibly and unfortunately be, over-the-top vulgarity can be as well. i don't want to fear for my life when you start telling me what you're going to do to me. just do it, and stop scaring me.
*
z. *a surefire ticket out of my bedroom? grant it, the first round had commenced. but when i've never been with you before and clearly what we're both trying to achieve is a fun, casual one-night thing ... and i allow you to stay the night? and i roll over to face the wall to catch a few zzz's? and i wake up to you spooning me and your other hand tracing my lips?
... i'm basically going to wonder when we decided to be in a relationship. and then i'm going to realize we never agreed to such a thing. and then i'm going to realize that you're a creep. and then i'm going to tell you it's about a good time for you to leeeave. 


_... and so commences the longest response i will ever, hopefully, post on a thread, not only here, but anywhere... for the rest of my life. good lord.

it started off as a funny idea, it ended with me totally agonizing by (s) over the fact that i had gotten so far and yet had so much more to do.

and i'm quite confident that if the men on dims were the last men on earth, i would probably not have sex for the rest of my life, because a thorough list such as the above undoubtedly has the ability to scare off any man i'm about to get busy with. ALLLLRIGHT!_ 

... on and yes, you are correct. at 2:40 in the morning and still winding down from 2 energy drinks at work earlier ... i DO have entirely too much time on my hands. just agreeing with you!


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## mimosa (Oct 26, 2007)

okay CC.....I am waiting for your pity and rep. I SOOO wanted to rep you for your list. Loved it.


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## cold comfort (Oct 26, 2007)

mimosa said:


> okay CC.....I am waiting for your pity and rep. I SOOO wanted to rep you for your list. Loved it.



aaaaaah! mims! girl, i love you ... and apparently too much, because as i went to rep you, a little pop up box came up to yell at me and tell me to spread the love around before repping you again. argh! :doh:

but dammit, i owe you ... batch of homemade cookies sound good?

perhaps a recorded song and dance version of me performing "respect"?

you might want to go with the cookies ... i'm an awful singer.


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## themadhatter (Oct 26, 2007)

cold comfort said:


> aaaaaah! mims! girl, i love you ... and apparently too much, because as i went to rep you, a little pop up box came up to yell at me and tell me to spread the love around before repping you again. argh! :doh:
> 
> but dammit, i owe you ... batch of homemade cookies sound good?
> 
> ...



Hey! I read the list first! Can I get cookies?! Seriously, I can't keep eating pasta all the time! Haha, no really though, helluva list.

Keeping with the same theme, since it's already been disclosed elsewhere anyway by this point *ahem*, here's my contribution.
Now, keep in mind there is a very roundabout, insinuating way I've tried to describe this before, but it doesn't seem to make itself quite clear. So for the sake of everyone (my dignity excepted), I'll be blunt. So here comes the fun train! (yes, I said fun train, shut up, it's 3 in the morning) -warning this'll get vulgar-

So let's just say this, basically if you're still wearing a tampon, and I obviously do not know this, for the love of fucking god remember to take it out beforehand (especially if I am in any way inebriated)! Ya know, some people like surprises. Hell, I like getting a good surprise every now and then. However, THIS IS NOT ONE OF THEM JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!

And that, my friends, is all that should ever have to be said on that topic. Have a lovely day!


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## mimosa (Oct 26, 2007)

cold comfort said:


> aaaaaah! mims! girl, i love you ... and apparently too much, because as i went to rep you, a little pop up box came up to yell at me and tell me to spread the love around before repping you again. argh! :doh:
> 
> but dammit, i owe you ... batch of homemade cookies sound good?
> 
> ...



You just made my night because I am over here just..... Have a wonderful night, CC. NO more energy drinks, okay? Thanks....homemade cookies sound yummy. Not that a tape of you singing wouldn't be interesting.


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## mimosa (Oct 26, 2007)

Well.....ha! I posted first. And about the tampon thing....GROSS Who does that?:blink:



themadhatter said:


> Hey! I read the list first! Can I get cookies?! Seriously, I can't keep eating pasta all the time! Haha, no really though, helluva list.
> 
> Keeping with the same theme, since it's already been disclosed elsewhere anyway by this point *ahem*, here's my contribution.
> Now, keep in mind there is a very roundabout, insinuating way I've tried to describe this before, but it doesn't seem to make itself quite clear. So for the sake of everyone (my dignity excepted), I'll be blunt. So here comes the fun train! (yes, I said fun train, shut up, it's 3 in the morning) -warning this'll get vulgar-
> ...


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## themadhatter (Oct 26, 2007)

mimosa said:


> Well.....ha! I posted first. And about the tampon thing....GROSS Who does that?:blink:



You don't want to know, but I could tell you and if you ever saw her you could say "Hey, you're that girl with the tampon aren't you?!" Hahaha, nah, not thaaat vindictive.


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## cold comfort (Oct 26, 2007)

themadhatter said:


> Hey! I read the list first! Can I get cookies?! Seriously, I can't keep eating pasta all the time! Haha, no really though, helluva list.
> 
> Keeping with the same theme, since it's already been disclosed elsewhere anyway by this point *ahem*, here's my contribution.
> Now, keep in mind there is a very roundabout, insinuating way I've tried to describe this before, but it doesn't seem to make itself quite clear. So for the sake of everyone (my dignity excepted), I'll be blunt. So here comes the fun train! (yes, I said fun train, shut up, it's 3 in the morning) -warning this'll get vulgar-
> ...



batch of homemade cookies request received and accepted. your order will be shipped in ... uh, several uh, business days. prrrromise.  thanks for the official 'helluva list' approval, kind sir.

now with that being out of the way ... can i just say that as far as the REST of your post goes ...

that uh... that um... i'm speechless. that is so wrong. SO wrong. on so many levels. i mean ... how? seriously, how? HOW? 

on second thought, there is absolutely no need whatsoever to answer that question at all. disregard completely.


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## cold comfort (Oct 26, 2007)

mimosa said:


> You just made my night because I am over here just..... Have a wonderful night, CC. NO more energy drinks, okay? Thanks....homemade cookies sound yummy. Not that a tape of you singing wouldn't be interesting.



awwww, anytime hun! 

but as far as the energy drinks go ... i think i'm officially screwed over for life. i've been drinking so many of them lately, that i actually got nauseous and crashed two days where i tried to go off of them.

good lord. it's like crack cocaine in a can. criminal, i tell ya. 

now do you prefer chocolate chip, sugar, peanut butter or oatmeal raisin? if you tell me oatmeal raisin, then i don't believe you.


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## mossystate (Oct 26, 2007)

Hmmmmm..so, in this scenario, is she also a bit drunk? I won't even wonder about the condom you probably forgot to slip on..eeek. I have to say that a tampon, when inserted correctly..well...I can forget it is in there. And trust me...the omg is going to be felt more on her end than it is on yours....heh. Reminds me of a story my sister told me..and while it IS late night..some folks will be reading this in the AM..so I shall refrain from telling the tale.


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## mimosa (Oct 26, 2007)

themadhatter said:


> You don't want to know, but I could tell you and if you ever saw her you could say "Hey, you're that girl with the tampon aren't you?!" Hahaha, nah, not thaaat vindictive.



hahaha....yeah, lets do that. Sounds like fun.


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## themadhatter (Oct 26, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Hmmmmm..so, in this scenario, is she also a bit drunk? I won't even wonder about the condom you probably forgot to slip on..eeek. I have to say that a tampon, when inserted correctly..well...I can forget it is in there. And trust me...the omg is going to be felt more on her end than it is on yours....heh. Reminds me of a story my sister told me..and while it IS late night..some folks will be reading this in the AM..so I shall refrain from telling the tale.



Hahaha, no in this particular situation there was no inebriation (which is why I can't fathom how this happened), and no I am not that stupid or forgetful not to use a condom. Thanks for the vote of confidence though  I will say though, from my, very vivid mind you, recollection of the incident in question, uhhh....yeah you do kind of notice it on the other end.....juuuuust a little.

Edit: Though I must hear this story...


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## mimosa (Oct 26, 2007)

cold comfort said:


> awwww, anytime hun!
> 
> but as far as the energy drinks go ... i think i'm officially screwed over for life. i've been drinking so many of them lately, that i actually got nauseous and crashed two days where i tried to go off of them.
> 
> ...



awww...Dios mio. Take it easy on the drinks, mi amor. Chocolate chip for this Mexican, por favor. Thanks!:bow:


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## themadhatter (Oct 26, 2007)

cold comfort said:


> *i.* poor kissers. just as much as it sucks to be with a guy that totally lacks a passionate lip-lock ... it also sucks to be with a dude way too aggressive. i had a guy that went to bite my lower lip once (when done correctly, i certainly approve), and i swear to god he almost ripped the thing off. seriously. i tasted blood. unnecessary.




Amendment to this point: Turn-off: Vampires.
That is all.


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## cold comfort (Oct 26, 2007)

mimosa said:


> awww...Dios mio. Take it easy on the drinks, mi amor. Chocolate chip for this Mexican, por favor. Thanks!:bow:



hahaha no worries, part of my dependency on them is only because i'm convincing myself i need them to keep up with my three jobs.

i'll no longer have that excuse, hopefully, when i land "the" job next week.

again, hopefully.

*knocks on wood*

and the chocolate chip is duly noted, gorgeous. 

on another note ... with this whole tampon debate we have going on. now ... to avoid going into too much unnecessary detail (although, really, maybe the word in and of itself in a sexual thread is far too much detail as is)... i think _most _women of adult age know how to correctly insert a tampon (not much rocket science involved there, after all) ... and while correctly inserted, it most definitely should not be felt otherwise ... well, that'd be completely awkward and i'd probably recommend other methods for such occasion. but i digress.

so of course there have been times where the thought has passed me that i, indeed, am wearing a tampon. HOWEVER.

upon hooking up with anyone getting close to thee, uh, zone do i ever let that thought slip me, nor do i (before even getting to this step) somehow, magically, forget that it's my time of the month. nor, no matter how intoxicated, in all the steps that lead to us having sex: undressing, kissing, finding a private place, etc ... do i somehow again forget that a) it is my time of the month and b) i am wearing a tampon.

but then again, i guess that could just be me? at the very least, it certainly wasn't her.

so again, i'll conclude with: uhhhh, how?



themadhatter said:


> Amendment to this point: Turn-off: Vampires.
> That is all.



... or mike tyson's for that matter. intact lips preferred.


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## mel (Oct 30, 2007)

too much talking during sex.. just do it!! lol.. what's the song.?? a little less talk and a lot more action


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## Blackjack (Oct 30, 2007)

mel said:


> too much talking during sex.. just do it!! lol.. what's the song.?? a little less talk and a lot more action



"Little less conversation, a little more action please" is how the line goes. It's Elvis.


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## RedVelvet (Oct 30, 2007)

Heh..and here is me, looking for the perfect dirty talker...

to each their own!


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## themadhatter (Oct 30, 2007)

So I need a break from grad. work, and rather than posting all of this stuff piecemeal as has been the case so far, Ill bite the bullet and present my list of sexual turn-offs, with varying degrees of magnitude and in no particular order! Not all of these are strictly physical by the way. Many of these have been stated elsewhere and by others I believe, but dammit this is my list! (Not all of these are during other, some can rule out hooking up altogether, or the possibility of it happening again in the future.)
Ill probably either coming out sounding like a very particular asshole, just an asshole, a total idiot, or any combination of the three. Haha, basically I really dont see anything good coming out of this

1) Tampons. This has already been mentioned elsewhere and DOES NOT NEED TO BE REPEATED. :shocked: Moving on

2) Smoking. Cigarettes smell bad and they taste even worse in someone elses mouth. Reaally takes away from the fun of it.

3) Confidence, actually lack thereof. Not just in bed, but elsewhere. Take some pride in your appearance, your body, etc. etc. Look, pity and timidity are not good aphrodisiacs. Which leads me to

4) Dead fish. Not sure what more needs to be said than that, but dooo something, cmon! Dont be so damned passive. Make some noise at least, get into it. Ergh.
Which kind of dovetails into

5) Passion. Be passionate about something! Jesus, nothing is more boring than someone who doesnt give a fuck about anything. Look, if you cant care about anything enough to get riled up on occasion, how are you going to be in bed? Chances are youre going to be #4. (Hmm...that sounds kind of cold, oops)

6) Sloppy drunk. Just, yeah, well I dont want to have to worry about getting puked on at the same time. (Note: Before you ask, this hasnt actually happened to me! However, something like it did happen to one of my suitemates sophomore year. Its a great story, I mean all-time top ten; ask me about it sometimewhich actually is also a sound reason for sans-analcall that 6b)

7) Drawing blood. (No not that way, get your mind out of the gutter! Haha, ok sorry about that). Please do not take a chunk out of my lip or my ear, or whatever, and I wont do it to you. Haha, and no time should I ever remark or even consider, Hey, you taste salty.wait a minute! :blink: unless were on, near, or in the ocean. Or a salt mine(your guess is as good as mine) But biting wellwell thats another storyahem, moving on.

8) The ever-present lower back tattoo (sometimes known as a tramp-stamp). Now this one can go both ways, depending on the size and content of said tattoo. However most of the time, it comes off as kinda, well tramp-stampish, at least in my experience. (Hows that for a proper sentence)

9) Poor hygiene. Teeth, hair, just general personal upkeep, etc. Its been said a million times before, so no need to really repeat the reasons why.
*9b) Body hair. Ya know, please shave your legs and your armpits, Im looking at you dirty hippies!. [Also, this isnt a dealbreaker actually, but hairy forearms weird me out a little bit. Im not a hairy guy (seriously it took me 6 weeks to grow a beard that would take most 15-year olds 6 hours, but I digress), so its kind of strange if youre hairy than I am. Wait, why the hell am I talking about hairy women??? On a side note, a woman with a great head of hair can be fing tops! No, that does not mean I have a hair fetish dammit]

10) Ok this might be a strange one, but laughing. This one girl, I dunno why, neither did she, but just would randomly start laughing. It was very, very odd, and quite distracting. 

11) Really obvious, large, distracting facial piercings. Ya know, the chin spike, bull-style nose ring, that kind of stuff. Just doesnt do it for me. In the words of Mitch Hedberg: You have a lot of cranial accessories.

12) Dont do that thing were you point or whatever and say all cutesy mine, or something along those lines. Thats actually a little scary, especially when its plainly obvious that this is not going anywhere further (remember the crazy girl from Wedding Crashers?). Actually, most of the time its just reeeaaaallllly scary. Makes you sound like a psycho stalker. Which reminds me of

13) Alright, knowing what you want and how to get it is a good thing, kind of ties in with the whole confidence issue, but dont be so insanely overaggressive to the point of having stalker-like tendencies. For example, say theres a party at the house, everyone passes out, DO NOT go breaking into my room (  )and leave notes and such on the nightstand, or god knows what else (to this day I have no idea). Thats not going to get you anywhere, its a tad bit creepy actually. And speaking of locked doors.

14) Keep the dog out! Now I like dogs, but not in that kind of way. There are few bigger mood killers Ive experienced than when Fido gets all slobbery up in your face, or on your leg, or back, or wherever. Especially when you dont lock the dog out the first time it happens! Im not about to get cornholed by a schnauzer thank you very much.  So jog on!


Ummm.so yeah thats about all I can come up with at the moment. Hopefully you all will find it entertaining, informative, whatever. All I know is that Im waaayyy to out of it at the moment to realize how mortified Ill be when I see this up on here tomorrow.:doh:


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## RedVelvet (Oct 30, 2007)

I dunno.....your needs seem rather reasonable to me.


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## mossystate (Oct 30, 2007)

There are some tattoos I never want to run into.


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## Ash (Oct 30, 2007)

themadhatter said:


> However, THIS IS NOT ONE OF THEM JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!



Want so badly to rep you right now. One of the funniest posts ever!


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## Renaissance Woman (Oct 30, 2007)

That reminds me: speech impediments. Lisps, r problems, you name it, it's not gonna do it for me. I blame my mother. She was a speech therapist.


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## BothGunsBlazing (Oct 30, 2007)

Renaissance Woman said:


> That reminds me: speech impediments. Lisps, r problems, you name it, it's not gonna do it for me. I blame my mother. She was a speech therapist.



The first girl I ever met on the internet had a huge speech impediment. It was made all the worse by us meeting and her constantly grabbing her boobs and asking me "do you like what you see"

fuck no, womang!

well, actually, her face was covered in moles and her arms were really hairy and her eyebrows were somehow bushier than mine. 

good god. it's good to have a first experience like that knowing it can only get better from there!


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## RedVelvet (Oct 30, 2007)

Renaissance Woman said:


> That reminds me: speech impediments. Lisps, r problems, you name it, it's not gonna do it for me. I blame my mother. She was a speech therapist.




You are so going to hell.


See you there.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Oct 30, 2007)

There goes our tryst, Barb.

I stutter a tiny bit when tired, or nervous, or worked up about something. Most guys find it adorable, thank goodness. And really, it's part of what makes me, well, me.


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## Carrie (Oct 30, 2007)

themadhatter said:


> Im not about to get cornholed by a schnauzer thank you very much.









Words fail me.


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## natesnap (Oct 30, 2007)

For me its girls who are bad kissers. Its even worse if they have a tongue piercing. (I don't mind piercings at all, just when they're on bad kissers) I was dating this one girl and it seemed like everytime we made out her tongue was having convulsions. Couple this with the fact she had a spiky ball bearing of death on her tongue. She practically lacerated my tonsils. Not cool.


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## Wild Zero (Oct 30, 2007)

Socks. Nothing wrong with a cute or stylish pair of socks. But please, oh god please, remove them before removing any other item of clothing. Nudity and socks throw a massive wrench in my libido, it seems just as odd as pairing sneakers with a birthday suit. Boo to that.


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## Tooz (Oct 30, 2007)

Whoever said "r problems" with speaking-- yeah. COUNT ME IN.


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## Admiral_Snackbar (Oct 31, 2007)

themadhatter said:


> 8) The ever-present lower back tattoo (sometimes known as a tramp-stamp). Now this one can go both ways, depending on the size and content of said tattoo. However most of the time, it comes off as kinda, well tramp-stampish, at least in my experience. (Hows that for a proper sentence)


 The Germans refer to those as "arschgewei" or "ass antlers".


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## themadhatter (Oct 31, 2007)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> The Germans refer to those as "arschgewei" or "ass antlers".



Hahahahahahaha! I have never heard this before, and yet it sounds so incredibly appropriate. I'm suddenly picturing a tattoo of the Jaegermeister deer...how disturbing.


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## RedVelvet (Oct 31, 2007)

So THATS what a tramp stamp is! :doh:


I am suddenly feeling really good about my two tiny tattoo choices.

Whew! Dodged that bullet. Now I can sleep with Insane Milliner. Which is my secret plan.

Wait...did I type that out loud?


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## _msz.lyric (Oct 31, 2007)

Ivy said:


> uh, there is nothin wussy bout my pussy, dudebro.



I just laughed my ass off at that. OMFG. That's hilarious.


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## _msz.lyric (Oct 31, 2007)

themadhatter said:


> So I need a break from grad. work, and rather than posting all of this stuff piecemeal as has been the case so far, Ill bite the bullet and present my list of sexual turn-offs, with varying degrees of magnitude and in no particular order! Not all of these are strictly physical by the way. Many of these have been stated elsewhere and by others I believe, but dammit this is my list! (Not all of these are during other, some can rule out hooking up altogether, or the possibility of it happening again in the future.)
> Ill probably either coming out sounding like a very particular asshole, just an asshole, a total idiot, or any combination of the three. Haha, basically I really dont see anything good coming out of this
> 
> 1) Tampons. This has already been mentioned elsewhere and DOES NOT NEED TO BE REPEATED. :shocked: Moving on
> ...



LOL wow, you sound like an ass and a half to me.


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## elle camino (Oct 31, 2007)

Wild Zero said:


> Socks. Nothing wrong with a cute or stylish pair of socks. But please, oh god please, remove them before removing any other item of clothing. Nudity and socks throw a massive wrench in my libido, it seems just as odd as pairing sneakers with a birthday suit. Boo to that.


this REALLY all depends on what kind of socks.


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## mango (Oct 31, 2007)

cold comfort said:


> alright... i've mainly avoided this list because i knew i can be pretty particular with this stuff. i'm picky, and it can be a curse and a blessing ... but whatever. it's all about personal opinions anyways.
> 
> so this started with like, a list of a-h. and then i kind of laughed and mentioned to someone that i could probably bust out the entire alphabet of turn-offs from bad experiences.
> 
> ...



*Only 26 turn-off's??

Is that all you got??

One of my TURN-ONs is inveterate list makers, but a list of 26 sexual turn-offs just doesn't quite cut it with me. 

Come on CC... You can do better than that! 




And while we're on the topic of sexual turn-offs, I know I mentioned ugly & crooked feet and toes in a previous post in this thread - but I believe I forgot to mention BUNIONS!! :doh:


*


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## Seth Warren (Oct 31, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> So THATS what a tramp stamp is! :doh:
> 
> 
> I am suddenly feeling really good about my two tiny tattoo choices.
> ...




So where and of what are these tattoos? *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*


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## RedVelvet (Oct 31, 2007)

Seth Warren said:


> So where and of what are these tattoos? *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*



Honestly?..they are tiny..

Think of 1600's aristocratic felt beauty marks....two tiny black hearts..one on left breast..one on right hip.....

To go with corsets..


see?

(and yes, the picture is flipped) 

View attachment coy2.jpg


----------



## Suze (Oct 31, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Honestly?..they are tiny..
> 
> Think of 1600's aristocratic felt beauty marks....two tiny black hearts..one on left breast..one on right hip.....
> 
> ...



priiittyyy!


----------



## Seth Warren (Oct 31, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Honestly?..they are tiny..
> 
> Think of 1600's aristocratic felt beauty marks....two tiny black hearts..one on left breast..one on right hip.....
> 
> ...




That's really classy, actually. I admire beauty in simplicity - especially when I've seen way too many people walking around with gaudy and just plain ugly tattoos.


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 31, 2007)

susieQ said:


> priiittyyy!



Thank you!



Seth Warren said:


> That's really classy, actually. I admire beauty in simplicity - especially when I've seen way too many people walking around with gaudy and just plain ugly tattoos.



Thank you, love.

I agree...I am very very fussy about them. I like very simple and bold designs...dont like script or fancy stuff that just looks like a bruise from far away....

I do like the Japanese stuff though..yeah.
And Kat Von D's portrait stuff.....a lot..just wouldnt put it on me.


----------



## Wild Zero (Oct 31, 2007)

elle camino said:


> this REALLY all depends on what kind of socks.



For me its strictly ankle socks, they look too much like a pair of running shoes to make me think of anything but a really creepy streaker.


----------



## Santaclear (Oct 31, 2007)

Ankle socks, saddle shoes, shower cap undies, a giant lollipop and one of those propeller-hat beanies, all at the same time in bed.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Oct 31, 2007)

Santaclear said:


> Ankle socks, saddle shoes, shower cap undies, a giant lollipop and one of those propeller-hat beanies, all at the same time in bed.


There goes the neighborhood.

And no, I don't know what I meant by that either, but it sounded damn funny.


----------



## Tina (Oct 31, 2007)

Santa, you seem to have had some very unusual experiences...


----------



## RedVelvet (Oct 31, 2007)

Santaclear said:


> Ankle socks, saddle shoes, shower cap undies, a giant lollipop and one of those propeller-hat beanies, all at the same time in bed.




oh my god...infantalism was the most baffling kink I ever ran across in my life....well..till I came here, anyway.

poor man


----------



## _msz.lyric (Oct 31, 2007)

Santaclear said:


> Ankle socks, saddle shoes, shower cap undies, a giant lollipop and one of those propeller-hat beanies, all at the same time in bed.



LMFAO All I can do is shake my head.


----------



## biodieselman (Oct 31, 2007)

_msz.lyric said:


> LMFAO All I can do is shake my head.



Ann Coulter.


----------



## cold comfort (Nov 1, 2007)

mango said:


> *Only 26 turn-off's??
> 
> Is that all you got??
> 
> ...



:doh:

if one of your *turn-ONs* is inveterate list makers, and 26 just does not cut it ...

then dear, dear mango ... you name that number, and i will damn well HIT IT.

ahahaha pun totally intended. :wubu:


----------



## Tina (Nov 1, 2007)

biodieselman said:


> Ann Coulter.


Got your back on that one, Bio.


----------



## themadhatter (Nov 1, 2007)

biodieselman said:


> Ann Coulter.



You...hitting the nail...on the head. This is what I am seeing here.


----------



## elle camino (Nov 1, 2007)

Wild Zero said:


> For me its strictly ankle socks, they look too much like a pair of running shoes to make me think of anything but a really creepy streaker.


ok well who the heck wears ankle socks anyways


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 1, 2007)

elle camino said:


> ok well who the heck wears ankle socks anyways




I do..with my skull sneakers. 

so sue me..I am not cool....I understand this ...........I'm ok with it. At least I don't wear them with sandals.


----------



## fatkid420 (Nov 1, 2007)

I didnt read through all the posts but here is a big one for the girl's. Please remove all excess toilet paper from your genital region if you expect a guy to want to go down on you.

There is absolutly nothing worse then getting ready to go down, parting her lips and seeing toilet paper. YUCK!


----------



## themadhatter (Nov 1, 2007)

fatkid420 said:


> I didnt read through all the posts but here is a big one for the girl's. Please remove all excess toilet paper from your genital region if you expect a guy to want to go down on you.
> 
> There is absolutly nothing worse then getting ready to go down, parting her lips and seeing toilet paper. YUCK!



Oh wow....I have no words.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Nov 1, 2007)

themadhatter said:


> Oh wow....I have no words.



Nor do I. I'm pretty much sitting here, frozen by horror


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 1, 2007)

I ....uh.....I cant even imagine how that could happen. I mean....would not one....FEEL SOMETHING!?...Egads.


----------



## CAMellie (Nov 1, 2007)

fatkid420 said:


> I didnt read through all the posts but here is a big one for the girl's. Please remove all excess toilet paper from your genital region if you expect a guy to want to go down on you.
> 
> There is absolutly nothing worse then getting ready to go down, parting her lips and seeing toilet paper. YUCK!




*giggles hysterically* *reads it again* *giggles more*


----------



## fatkid420 (Nov 1, 2007)

Im not talking about huge pieces of TP, but rather small specs looking something like sock lint. Its just nasty.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Nov 1, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> I ....uh.....I cant even imagine how that could happen. I mean....would not one....FEEL SOMETHING!?...Egads.



Oh, come on Arv ... like you haven't had a Howler Monkey or two escape.


----------



## CAMellie (Nov 1, 2007)

fatkid420 said:


> Im not talking about huge pieces of TP, but rather small specs looking something like sock lint. Its just nasty.




Ok..yeah...now THAT makes sense. *nods*


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 1, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> Oh, come on Arv ... like you haven't had a Howler Monkey or two escape.







I don't even pee.

And my pussy smells like peppermint.

Just like Kathy Lee.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Nov 1, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> I don't even pee.
> 
> And my pussy smells like peppermint.
> 
> Just like Kathy Lee.



Your pussy .... gargles? How did you train it to do that?


----------



## mossystate (Nov 1, 2007)

Speaking of monkeys...a REAL man will simply look at the bits of Charmin and look at it as a great time to groom me...

and..fatkid...it happens..it does..yes...when you find week old concord grapes, then be worried....


----------



## TraciJo67 (Nov 1, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Speaking of monkeys...a REAL man will simply look at the bits of Charmin and look at it as a great time to groom me...
> 
> and..fatkid...it happens..it does..yes...when you find week old concord grapes, then be worried....



I was going to tell him that so long as he didn't find *teeth*, it's really all good. 

But then, fishing bits of TP clinging to naughty parts is not something *I'd* want to spend a whole lot of time doing, so I sympathize. Vaguely. In a clean, oh so clean, very clean peppermint-scented kind of way .


----------



## Santaclear (Nov 1, 2007)

I once found a strange set of keys when I was down in there. Nothing's worse than that "off", many-times-handled metal taste, especially when you're not expecting it. She claimed she didn't know whose they were or how they got there. :huh:


----------



## mossystate (Nov 1, 2007)

Santaclear said:


> I once found a strange set of keys when I was down in there. Nothing's worse than that "off", many-times-handled metal taste, especially when you're not expecting it. She claimed she didn't know whose they were or how they got there. :huh:



She wanted you to drive her car, but, I see that you only have your learners permit.


----------



## mossystate (Nov 1, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> I was going to tell him that so long as he didn't find *teeth*, it's really all good.
> 
> But then, fishing bits of TP clinging to naughty parts is not something *I'd* want to spend a whole lot of time doing, so I sympathize. Vaguely. In a clean, oh so clean, very clean peppermint-scented kind of way .




Where have all the real men gone...* dramatic sigh *


----------



## Santaclear (Nov 1, 2007)

mossystate said:


> She wanted you to drive her car, but, I see that you only have your learners permit.



My story was just a single illustration of the down side, Mo'. Sometimes you can find cash, trinkets or treats in there.


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 1, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> Your pussy .... gargles? How did you train it to do that?




Its totally natural. I just can help it. In fact, I can change flavors by sheer force of will and turning in a circle three times.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Nov 1, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Its totally natural. I just can help it. In fact, I can change flavors by sheer force of will and turning in a circle three times.



Would any of those flavors happen to be ... eggnog?


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 1, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> Would any of those flavors happen to be ... eggnog?




You hitting on me?


----------



## mossystate (Nov 1, 2007)

Santaclear said:


> My story was just one illustration of the down side, Mo'. Sometimes you can find cash, treats or trinkets in there.



I have SO much Halloween candy. Maybe I should strategically place fun-size snickers and walk down the street. The bowlegged walk would be a clear giveaway. Friday night date, here I come!


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 1, 2007)

mossystate said:


> I have SO much Halloween candy. Maybe I should strategically place fun-size snickers and walk down the street. The bowlegged walk would be a clear giveaway. Friday night date, here I come!



I would so rep you for the laugh you just gave me.... if I could.


----------



## mossystate (Nov 1, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> I would so rep you for the laugh you just gave me.... if I could.



Thing is?..I am actually imagining what a Snickers would look like after being held captive by my bits...and ANYBODY who says " ew, gross "...shut up ...grow up... and don't be a hater.....

I am also now imagining a peppermint hoo...would be so invigorating on a crisp, November day! No Dia De Los Muertos.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Nov 1, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Thing is?..I am actually imagining what a Snickers would look like after being held captive by my bits...and ANYBODY who says " ew, gross "...shut up ...grow up... and don't be a hater.....
> 
> I am also now imagining a peppermint hoo...would be so invigorating on a crisp, November day! No Dia De Los Muertos.



My coo is NOTHING if not invigorating, Mossy.

P.S. If you can add Vanilla Latte to that list of flavors, Arv ... then yeah, I am SOOOO hitting on you.


----------



## Santaclear (Nov 1, 2007)

mossystate said:


> I have SO much Halloween candy. Maybe I should strategically place fun-size snickers and walk down the street. The bowlegged walk would be a clear giveaway. Friday night date, here I come!



I remember reading a story in Newsday when I was a kid, about shoplifting and what a problem it was, that said a woman in Brooklyn or somewhere had tried to steal a TV by waddling out of the store with it under her dress, between her legs, and nearly gotten away with it. (Sounds unlikely to me.) 
ETA: Now I remember: they caught her because she dropped it!

Yay for the Snickers walk. They should use that in their ads.


----------



## Santaclear (Nov 1, 2007)

Doritos are great down there, btw.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Nov 1, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> I do..with my skull sneakers.
> 
> so sue me..I am not cool....I understand this ...........I'm ok with it. At least I don't wear them with sandals.


 I always understood that age play and infantilism were two wholly different kinks. I mean, wearing a diaper and having mommy bottle feed you is one thing, having your lady in ankle socks, mary janes and pigtails in a gingham dress is an entirely different kind of fuc..flying...altogether.



fatkid420 said:


> Im not talking about huge pieces of TP, but rather small specs looking something like sock lint. Its just nasty.


And you're saying that you never get tp lint in your peehole? Or that boxer brief fabric 'boogers' never get lodged in your pubic hair? Where do you think the term "smegma" came from? _And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?_ (Matt. 7:3).



RedVelvet said:


> I don't even pee.
> 
> And my pussy smells like peppermint.
> 
> Just like Kathy Lee.


 Cool Use for Altoids #42...

Then again if we're talking Kathie Lee Gifford, I would think it smells like the Gobi Desert and failure.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Nov 1, 2007)

Santaclear said:


> Doritos are great down there, btw.



Cool Ranch flavor? Or does it matter?


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 1, 2007)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> I always understood that age play and infantilism were two wholly different kinks. I mean, wearing a diaper and having mommy bottle feed you is one thing, having your lady in ankle socks, mary janes and pigtails in a gingham dress is an entirely different kind of fuc..flying...altogether.
> 
> 
> And you're saying that you never get tp lint in your peehole? Or that boxer brief fabric 'boogers' never get lodged in your pubic hair? Where do you think the term "smegma" came from? _And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?_ (Matt. 7:3).
> ...




Gobi Desert and failure!...............BWAAAAAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA


How about Humiliation and Hot Snotty Tears of Shame?


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Nov 1, 2007)

From The Exhaustive List to food sex to escaping tp to _vagina dentata_... 

View attachment thread_storm.jpg


----------



## liz (di-va) (Nov 1, 2007)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> And you're saying that you never get tp lint in your peehole? Or that boxer brief fabric 'boogers' never get lodged in your pubic hair? Where do you think the term "smegma" came from? _And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?_ (Matt. 7:3).



Thank you for noting this. Let he who is without the occasional toothpaste at the corner of his mouth cast the first stone and all that.

Not to mention, the issue at hand is good sex, yes? Or antidotes thereto? One of them for me would definitely be excessive fussiness. I'd argue, in fact, it's fairly antithetical to good sex, unless you're talking about the kind of sex that occurs in carefully lit Manhattan studios where human beings in droid makeup never touch each other or something.


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 1, 2007)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> I always understood that age play and infantilism were two wholly different kinks. I mean, wearing a diaper and having mommy bottle feed you is one thing, having your lady in ankle socks, mary janes and pigtails in a gingham dress is an entirely different kind of fuc..flying...altogether.
> 
> 
> And you're saying that you never get tp lint in your peehole? Or that boxer brief fabric 'boogers' never get lodged in your pubic hair? Where do you think the term "smegma" came from? _And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?_ (Matt. 7:3).
> .




The Admiral Sounds Like He Might Be Fun....know what I mean....nudge nudge?


----------



## TraciJo67 (Nov 1, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> The Admiral Sounds Like He Might Be Fun....know what I mean....nudge nudge?



But ... but ... (gasp) ... he gets TP lint in his peehole! He said so himself!


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 1, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> But ... but ... (gasp) ... he gets TP lint in his peehole! He said so himself!



Even Superman super-pees......


I can live with that.

(no offense to your wife, Admiral)


----------



## TraciJo67 (Nov 1, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Even Superman super-pees......
> 
> 
> I can live with that.
> ...



Oh, Arv. I do love you. You know that, don't you? :wubu:


----------



## Santaclear (Nov 1, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> Cool Ranch flavor? Or does it matter?



Not sure. It might be hard to tell. Triscuits are pretty good too, just have to get over the surprise of the sudden crunching sound. 

Tootsie Rolls? Too chewy.  (re-railing the thread)

Bottom line is it's considerate to leave treats there.


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 1, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> Oh, Arv. I do love you. You know that, don't you? :wubu:




And I love you back.
:kiss2:


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Nov 1, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> But ... but ... (gasp) ... he gets TP lint in his peehole! He said so himself!


 No, I get TP lint NEAR my peehole. It's not like I floss it out to get rid of plaque to prevent harmful gingivitis.  Usually I accidentally get shower soap IN it, which is hella painful.



RedVelvet said:


> Even Superman super-pees......I can live with that.
> 
> (no offense to your wife, Admiral)


 No offense taken. There's a sad admission in my reply, so I won't make it.


----------



## mossystate (Nov 1, 2007)

* steps away from this thread, until I eat my lunch *


----------



## chunkeymonkey (Nov 1, 2007)

I have a thing with certain smells that can turn me off sexually....... I dont eat seafood nor do I eat anything that has been in living or floating in the water. I am a head case with that. So if someone eats something of that nature I refuse to kiss or do anything.

However I can't handle getting into the mood if someone farts in front of me ,takes a crap and reports back to me with their adventures ,or grunting out the alphabet in one breath. Haha my expectations may not be high with everything else but those are kinda things that may get your balls sliding out my door fast.


----------



## mimosa (Nov 1, 2007)

I just wanted to thank all of you ( YOU KNOW WHO ARE) who made this thread interesting, gross and SO FUNNY today. :bow:


----------



## Breakfiend (Nov 1, 2007)

In answer to this topic two things: Jeremy Clarkson+a fast car. Nuff said.


----------



## mossystate (Nov 1, 2007)

Breakfiend said:


> In answer to this topic two things: Jeremy Clarkson+a fast car. Nuff said.



Just looked up who that is...and..ack..what a piece o crap.


----------



## Tina (Nov 1, 2007)

Re: the toilet paper thing. It happens. But it seems to be much more likely with certain brands of toilet paper (I avoid those). And let's also distinguish between lint from aforementioned TP and actual dingleberries.


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 1, 2007)

Tina said:


> Re: the toilet paper thing. It happens. But it seems to be much more likely with certain brands of toilet paper (I avoid those). And let's also distinguish between lint from aforementioned TP and actual dingleberries.




Yeah....if you shave a lot (ahem...) the super soft cottony stuff can be a mess...especially if you have JUST shaved and are completely smooth, strangely enough..

I choose my paper carefully.


----------



## Surlysomething (Nov 1, 2007)

I know a lot of guys that are into feet, but i'm not. Please don't do cutsie things to them like kissing them. It grosses me out, seriously.

The "go too fast" thing really bothers me too. What? Are we running a race? And that's meant in the from start to finish way, not the actual performing way. Hint hint.

And if I say I don't like it, listen. Trying it over and over again on me is just going to make me get up and watch the news.

No, I don't get turned on by your sister. Or your Aunt. Or your cousin, so stop.


----------



## Spanky (Nov 1, 2007)

I always wondered what was discussed in 5th grade in the other room when they divided up the girls and boys for the "sex talk". 

We just looked at sharpened and unsharpened pencils. 

But now I feel that I am IN that other room, on the wall, yet not a fly. And it's 5th grade again.


----------



## Tina (Nov 1, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Yeah....if you shave a lot (ahem...) the super soft cottony stuff can be a mess...especially if you have JUST shaved and are completely smooth, strangely enough..
> 
> I choose my paper carefully.


I do, too, even though I go natural, baby.  I know that some of it leaves so much snow that the only cure for it is washing off. 


Surlysomething said:


> No, I don't get turned on by your sister. Or your Aunt. Or your cousin, so stop.


Surly, I sense there is a story behind this one... :blink:


----------



## mossystate (Nov 1, 2007)

Hey, I have voluptious bits..stuff will happen down there..heh.

Sexual turn-off ( and I don't know if I have mentioned it )..do NOT live in a baseball cap. In fact, unless you actually play baseball, or need one now and then while you mow the lawn ( no, not a ref to RveeJ's shave mention..I, like Tina, was born free*L* )..just...don't. While you might not wear it in the bedroom , if I see you in it all day, lots of days...ack.

If you say ew to any of my body parts...see ya.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Nov 1, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Yeah....if you shave a lot (ahem...) the super soft cottony stuff can be a mess...especially if you have JUST shaved and are completely smooth, strangely enough..
> 
> I choose my paper carefully.


 My understanding both from personal experience and from others is to use Polysporin when you initially shave down, let your bathing suit area sit in the shave cream/lotion for a bit beforehand to ensure the follicle is soaked and also to shave frequently to keep the hair pliable. Then use hydrocortisone or aveeno cream afterwards for itching.

Not to threadjack the poopie thread, I've actually moved in some cases to baby wipes to keep things moisturized. Sometimes when you get what I call the "Saga Of The Endless Wiping," a.k.a. the Spacklycrumb Tinies (deepest apologies to Edward Gorey), paper no matter how cottony will chafe like a mo-fo. The sadists who created Tucks Medicated Pads can blow; baby wipes are often the key to comfort. If it's good enough for my son's ass bomb blowout, it's good enough for moi.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Nov 1, 2007)

Surlysomething said:


> I know a lot of guys that are into feet, but i'm not. Please don't do cutsie things to them like kissing them. It grosses me out, seriously.


 So footrubs are out of the question, or just shrimping or fetishistic stuff?

Usually the flow of activities is 1) Foot scrub, 2) Pedicure, 3) Foot bath, 4) Moisturizing foot massage, 5) Pampering (with or without painting toes) and 6) everything else. At some point we guys will stop at 4.

Foot play is not for everyone. It's an art and a science


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 1, 2007)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> My understanding both from personal experience and from others is to use Polysporin when you initially shave down, let your bathing suit area sit in the shave cream/lotion for a bit beforehand to ensure the follicle is soaked and also to shave frequently to keep the hair pliable. Then use hydrocortisone or aveeno cream afterwards for itching.




um...dood..I love you..but I have no problems shaving..or with technique...at all..in any way. 

I am a master shaver, thanks.



We were talking toilet paper.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Nov 1, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> um...dood..I love you..but I have no problems shaving..or with technique...at all..in any way.
> 
> I am a master shaver, thanks.
> 
> We were talking toilet paper.


 Point taken. I'm just gonna STFU and GBTW. :bow:


----------



## Surlysomething (Nov 1, 2007)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> So footrubs are out of the question, or just shrimping or fetishistic stuff?
> 
> Usually the flow of activities is 1) Foot scrub, 2) Pedicure, 3) Foot bath, 4) Moisturizing foot massage, 5) Pampering (with or without painting toes) and 6) everything else. At some point we guys will stop at 4.
> 
> Foot play is not for everyone. It's an art and a science



Ohhhhh..if there was a lead up like that....i'm all yours. Wow. :batting:

But. That hasn't been the case. Yet.


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 1, 2007)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> So footrubs are out of the question, or just shrimping or fetishistic stuff?
> 
> Usually the flow of activities is 1) Foot scrub, 2) Pedicure, 3) Foot bath, 4) Moisturizing foot massage, 5) Pampering (with or without painting toes) and 6) everything else. At some point we guys will stop at 4.
> 
> Foot play is not for everyone. It's an art and a science




ooooh!!!....um...I have no issues with feet!..my feet are cute!...um...Be magically single and come over, ok?


----------



## TraciJo67 (Nov 1, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> ooooh!!!....um...I have no issues with feet!..my feet are cute!...um...Be magically single and come over, ok?



::: snort :::

You don't have to be single to come this way, Admiral. So long as we're talking a foot massage & pedicure, that is. Hell, you'll save me about $30, which as I figure is ... 6 lattes.


----------



## mimosa (Nov 1, 2007)

Wow..A_S You got the ladies all wired up here.:smitten: I thought this was a turn-off thread.


----------



## mossystate (Nov 1, 2007)

I am not so into a man grooming me to that extent. For me, it takes a bit away from the mystery of how we do for ourselves, things that also appeal to the objects of our affection. Small bits of all that can be oh so very nice..but...moderation. 

Feet...magical, they are....


----------



## TraciJo67 (Nov 1, 2007)

mossystate said:


> I am not so into a man grooming me to that extent. For me, it takes a bit away from the mystery of how we do for ourselves, things that also appeal to the objects of our affection. Small bits of all that can be oh so very nice..but...moderation.
> 
> Feet...magical, they are....



I always go to this magical little Vietnamese man for my pedicures. Obviously, he's not there to 'groom' me (more the pity, that is) but I do appreciate that his hands are larger and firmer and he applies more pressure when massaging my calves & legs. Tis why I keep going back to him, despite the fact that he has a nail on his left pinkie finger that I swear could completely skewer an elephant.


----------



## mossystate (Nov 1, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> I always go to this magical little Vietnamese man for my pedicures. Obviously, he's not there to 'groom' me (more the pity, that is) but I do appreciate that his hands are larger and firmer and he applies more pressure when massaging my calves & legs. Tis why I keep going back to him, despite the fact that he has a nail on his left pinkie finger that I swear could completely skewer an elephant.



You saying he has to snort coke before he can touch your hooves?


----------



## TraciJo67 (Nov 1, 2007)

mossystate said:


> You saying he has to snort coke before he can touch your hooves?



Quite possibly, yes. I mean, they are *my* hooves.


----------



## mossystate (Nov 1, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> Quite possibly, yes. I mean, they are *my* hooves.



moo..............


----------



## mel (Nov 1, 2007)

fatkid420 said:


> I didnt read through all the posts but here is a big one for the girl's. Please remove all excess toilet paper from your genital region if you expect a guy to want to go down on you.
> 
> There is absolutly nothing worse then getting ready to go down, parting her lips and seeing toilet paper. YUCK!



LMAO.......


----------



## Freedumb (Nov 2, 2007)

A major deal breaker for me, is when her voice begins to sound as if she was possessed and it almost feels as if a scene from "The Exorcist" is about to unfold.


----------



## angel-1 (Nov 2, 2007)

DUBLINDA said:


> Im with Ruby and Soup on this one too - - - Do not touch my feet and do not expect me to touch or even look at yours. eeeuuuggghhh Can someone pass me the sick bucket!!!


 What if a guy is just paying you a compliment?


----------



## DUBLINDA (Nov 2, 2007)

angel-1 said:


> What if a guy is just paying you a compliment?




There is no compliment on earth that could ever be directed at my feet!!!  Trust me on this one.


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 2, 2007)

Freedumb said:


> A major deal breaker for me, is when her voice begins to sound as if she was possessed and it almost feels as if a scene from "The Exorcist" is about to unfold.




This happen often?

:huh:


----------



## CTAnonymousCT (Nov 2, 2007)

puppy said:


> Weird sex sounds. Don't get me wrong, I love sex sounds, but unusual weird sounds or weird phrases in bed really kill it for me. For example, I dated this guy who would roar LIKE A LION when he came! The first time, I was alarmed as I thought he was hurt! I referred to him to my friends as "The Wild Beast of the Jungle". Geez.



My biggest sexual turn offs are funky smells, and bad breath. If it dont smell good, I AM OUT!:bow::bow:

PS About sounds one time during sex with someone she started making these weird eerie moaning sounds, like a ghost or something,,It was so weird, I couldnt ummm, perform up to my ability. I asked her what it was about, LOL she didnt even know what I was talking about. WEIRD WEIRD


----------



## Freedumb (Nov 2, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> This happen often?
> 
> :huh:


well yea, with one particular person it finally got to the point where I was dreading sex with her. Suffice it to say it didn't last long after that.


Oh another huge turn-off is PRESSURE, I had this gf that still lived with her mother, and so as we started getting going the conversation turns into this.

"My mom is asleep in the next room, so we've gotta be quiet."

"cool, no problem."

Oh my god, don't let the bed squeak so loud."

"SHHHHH!!!!!" 

"I didn't say anything."

"I hope she didn't hear that"

"Hear what???"

at that point I & my junk called it quits. So anytime sex becomes a seminar on what to do, and what can't be done, no thanks. these are things that should be taken care of before hand, not while you're both standing there butt ass naked.


----------



## t3h_n00b (Nov 2, 2007)

biting. That shit hurts. It's one thing when its in the throws of intense screwing but it's really something I'm trying to block out when it happens during foreplay.


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## themadhatter (Nov 3, 2007)

t3h_n00b said:


> biting. That shit hurts. It's one thing when its in the throws of intense screwing but it's really something I'm trying to block out when it happens during foreplay.



Haha, you just need to be properly bitten (Fuck off that is not a come on, I'm just saying! Seriously guys!). No really, I'm serious, it can be quiiiite good.


----------



## RedVelvet (Nov 3, 2007)

themadhatter said:


> Haha, you just need to be properly bitten (Fuck off that is not a come on, I'm just saying! Seriously guys!). No really, I'm serious, it can be quiiiite good.



I agree....but..I do my best work tied up.


----------



## supersoup (Nov 3, 2007)

themadhatter said:


> Haha, you just need to be properly bitten (Fuck off that is not a come on, I'm just saying! Seriously guys!). No really, I'm serious, it can be quiiiite good.



i so agree with this statement.


----------



## liz (di-va) (Nov 3, 2007)

themadhatter said:


> Haha, you just need to be properly bitten (Fuck off that is not a come on, I'm just saying! Seriously guys!). No really, I'm serious, it can be quiiiite good.



somebody needed to say it


----------



## bmann0413 (Nov 3, 2007)

Honestly, I have multiple turn-offs...

Like for one, if the girl thinks the world revolves around her, then she gets the boot.

And if she has the tendency of trying to change me, I seriously wouldn't like that.

Another one is when the girl is a little too calm... I like my girls to have a bit of a wild side on 'em, y'know?


----------



## mel (Nov 4, 2007)

a good biting at the right time in the right place isn't bad...


----------



## Aurora1 (Nov 4, 2007)

puppy said:


> I dated this guy who would roar LIKE A LION when he came! The first time, I was alarmed as I thought he was hurt!



Call me crazy but I think that's HOT!! Not if he was seriously trying to sound like a lion but just if he was like just totally immersed in the release or whatever. lol Anyway...no ear or toe sucking for me....eeeewwww. Noise I don't mind...the louder the better  Sex should be wild, crazy and fun shouldn't it??? I like to see someone enjoying themselves and visa versa.


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## Dravenhawk (Nov 11, 2007)

My turn offs.

I am usually truned on 24 / 7 so if you want to know where the 
off switch is

1.) Try asking me if I like it or does it feel good. If you cant tell by my body language then words aint gonna work either.

2.) Touch my feet and total system shut down will occour in a matter of seconds. You only get ONE chance at my feet and that is your LAST chance.

3.) Smoking eeeeewww cigarette smoke is friggen GROSS YUK!! I cant stant the stench of stinkarettes. Light up and I am gone for good.

4.) Talking on the phone while making love is a sure buzzkill yeah and the TV is another. There are only TWO things that matter here HER pleasure and MINE.

5.) Funky pussy is another. I like to eat out and if the eatery has that "funk" I have lost my appetite.

Dravenhawk


----------



## Seth Warren (Nov 11, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> I agree....but..I do my best work tied up.




Duly noted...for no reason in particular. :batting:


----------



## angel-1 (Nov 12, 2007)

DUBLINDA said:


> There is no compliment on earth that could ever be directed at my feet!!!  Trust me on this one.



I don't believe you.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing (Nov 12, 2007)

I've gotten compliments on my feet before .. that were also insulting at the same time. 

"you've got such soft smooth feet, it must be from all that manual labor you do"

why thank you .. wait ..  oh .. I sit on my ass a lot. I lose.


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## Admiral_Snackbar (Nov 12, 2007)

DUBLINDA said:


> There is no compliment on earth that could ever be directed at my feet!!!  Trust me on this one.


 I am still searching for that acupressure point in the foot that will trigger orgasm in the ladies and uncontrolled bowel evacuation in my enemies. Sort of a reflexological version of the brown noise.


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## Carrie (Nov 12, 2007)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> I am still searching for that acupressure point in the foot that will trigger orgasm in the ladies and uncontrolled bowel evacuation in my enemies. Sort of a reflexological version of the brown noise.


Alternatively, its more benevolent use could win over most of your enemies.


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## TraciJo67 (Nov 12, 2007)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> I am still searching for that acupressure point in the foot that will trigger orgasm in the ladies and uncontrolled bowel evacuation in my enemies. Sort of a reflexological version of the brown noise.



Why would you want to be anywhere near a shitstorm, Admiral? I think that this post belongs in wierd fetishes


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## Admiral_Snackbar (Nov 12, 2007)

Carrie said:


> Alternatively, its more benevolent use could win over most of your enemies.


 As much as I would love to be able to grant endless orgasms to my enemies (though not always directly), some of them are undeserving. To turn a phrase, keep my friends messy and my enemies messier .


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## bradlm (Nov 12, 2007)

I would have to say, either a really bad smell or sex talk that is too over the top. Was in this situation once where I was having sex with one girl, while another "urged" me on. Problem was, the "urging" was bordering on ridiculously bad porn movie dialogue...I just cracked up.
The smell thing...well, let's just say one time I went in for doggie and an oder emanated that caused all systems to shut down and hide....


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## Admiral_Snackbar (Nov 12, 2007)

I know this is a list of turn-offs, and I am not aiming my laser of ire at anyone in particular, but since I haven't taken a tally here, what is the percentage of rotten cooch vs. rotten cawk issues on this thread? I hear lots of guys go on and on about the natural or unnatural scents of their lover's vaganda (and their issues with it in general), but almost next to nothing about the crusty rusty that some women have to endure on behalf of their smelly man. I think most ladies would as soon make a point of bad breath than go right for the sexual jugular.

Yes, girl parts are inside, guys are outside. The vagina, for all its wonders of biochemistry and pH balance can be a most uncomfortable and unpleasant den of infection and woe when that balance is disturbed. Women know this, dudes, and I guarantee you they hate it ten or a hundred times as much as you do. Some women have long-term cunnilingus aversion trauma for no good reason. 

I grant you the occasional issue of odiferous crotch chasm for EITHER gender, but I think guys unjustly bemoan what is usually the normal female scent, all the while having no issues with (or finding humor in) the smell of their own intestinal gas. It all just seems a bit one sided to me.

If I don't bathe every day my bits and pieces do have an odor. Wrinkly skin + body hair + dark, moist spaces + body fluid residues + bacteria and natural oils all work together to make me smell uniquely me, but if I had to go three days with no shower even I wouldn't want to go near my nether regions. I would guess your situations are comparable; overall the natural smell is not a bad odor and in fact I am sure there is a pheromonal component that is in some way pleasing to some but not others (a friend of mine actually prefers his gf not shower for a couple days because he prefers her musky scent). The smell of our parts is just part of the human condition. If it's something serious, than more often than not it's a case for medical attention. In a battle vs a yeast infection and jock itch, the woman has it ten times worse because we men can at least SCRATCH. 

Sorry to rant but this is the eleventeenth post I've seen on "eww, thine vajayjay doth have odeur...no can do!"


----------



## mossystate (Nov 12, 2007)

Maybe some men will think differently about the issue now that another man has said it ( and I am glad he did )...ain't that just always the way it is...
Step awaaaaaay from the perfumes and douches. Oh, and for the boys..that body spray you bathe in?...I can't imagine that would be fun to taste...either.


----------



## liz (di-va) (Nov 12, 2007)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> I hear lots of guys go on and on about the natural or unnatural scents of their lover's vaganda (and their issues with it in general), but almost next to nothing about the crusty rusty that some women have to endure on behalf of their smelly man.



I just made reference to this issue in the 'labia' thread, the way people are talking about women's parts in this thread. I bet women all do have comparable stories to tell about stinky male parts, but I myself wouldn't bring them up here. It would feel hostile. Because it's not an issue of "sexual turn-off" in the way I think we're talking of it; that would indicate it's about how gross penises are or something in general (which I don't think), rather than about how some guys can't bathe/some smells don't mesh/sometimes sex is messy. Maybe it's a tiny meaningless distinction on my part, but what can I say--I have found it quite off-putting, the way (overall) women's smells are being brought up here.


----------



## ripley (Nov 12, 2007)

It's not just men though...when the women were discussing not swallowing semen, it was all 'eww, mucus!' and stuff. 

Well...a vagina is a mucus membrane, so if you're asking a guy to go down, um...

That natural lubrication your vagina produces? I bet it's pretty much mucus, lol.


----------



## mossystate (Nov 12, 2007)

Ok, ripley, you may have my share of semen. I am generous like that..

I have no issue with the smell of the stuff, but I know I am not a fan of gobs of it coming at me/in me in spurts and squirts. I have no problem at all with a mans stuff on my body, as long as I know and give the green light.

If I ejaculated, and a man told me he could not handle it, but he was not rejecting my juices out of hand...I would probably be ok with it.


----------



## ripley (Nov 12, 2007)

As long as I get the men that go along with it, sounds like a deal to me. 


Or:


I don't want your second-hand semen!




(Couldn't decide which one to go with.)


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Nov 12, 2007)

ripley said:


> It's not just men though...when the women were discussing not swallowing semen, it was all 'eww, mucus!' and stuff.
> 
> Well...a vagina is a mucus membrane, so if you're asking a guy to go down, um...
> 
> That natural lubrication your vagina produces? I bet it's pretty much mucus, lol.


I would of course question the volume aspect as well. Asking your lady to swallow is I think a far cry from asking your man to go down and imbibe your fluids during oral. I know there are exceptions, but I don't see a comparison between an orgasmic event that pumps a tea/tablespoon full of thick, proteinaceous fluid at high velocity towards your uvula and drinking a copious amount of your lady's climax (unless you're talking a squirting thing, which is in itself a wholly separate topic). The "viscosity" of the two are imho completely different.


----------



## ripley (Nov 12, 2007)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> I would of course question the volume aspect as well. Asking your lady to swallow is I think a far cry from asking your man to go down and imbibe your fluids during oral. I know there are exceptions, but I don't see a comparison between an orgasmic event that pumps a tea/tablespoon full of thick, proteinaceous fluid at high velocity towards your uvula and drinking a copious amount of your lady's climax (unless you're talking a squirting thing, which is in itself a wholly separate topic). The "viscosity" of the two are imho completely different.



I wasn't saying it was the same thing.  

What I'm saying is that there can be...overly fastidious things from both sides. Sex is messy, elemental, primal....


----------



## liz (di-va) (Nov 12, 2007)

ripley said:


> It's not just men though...when the women were discussing not swallowing semen, it was all 'eww, mucus!' and stuff.



Actually, you are totally correct about that...I forgot how the thread went at the beginning (I was reacting to recent posts).


----------



## ripley (Nov 12, 2007)

Actually, I agree with what you're saying. Totally. 


Just making a point that it's on both sides.


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## Sweet_Serenade (Nov 12, 2007)

Bad hygiene, I guess.

Thankfully my spouse is as freakishly clean as me.


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## balletguy (Nov 12, 2007)

bad breath


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## Tina (Nov 12, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Ok, ripley, you may have my share of semen. I am generous like that..
> 
> I have no issue with the smell of the stuff, but I know I am not a fan of gobs of it coming at me/in me in spurts and squirts. I have no problem at all with a mans stuff on my body, as long as I know and give the green light.
> 
> If I ejaculated, and a man told me he could not handle it, but he was not rejecting my juices out of hand...I would probably be ok with it.



Exactly. Just because I don't want to swallow it all down doesn't mean I dislike men, or dislike sex, or think men and penises are icky. Sheesh.


----------



## Tina (Nov 12, 2007)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> I would of course question the volume aspect as well. Asking your lady to swallow is I think a far cry from asking your man to go down and imbibe your fluids during oral. I know there are exceptions, but I don't see a comparison between an orgasmic event that pumps a tea/tablespoon full of thick, proteinaceous fluid at high velocity towards your uvula and drinking a copious amount of your lady's climax (unless you're talking a squirting thing, which is in itself a wholly separate topic). The "viscosity" of the two are imho completely different.


I appreciate your posts in this thread, Admiral.

I see a difference, too. I enjoy oral sex, and it's not like I run away from fluids, okay? But I just don't want a whole mouthful shot down my throat, and I do not see that as being the same as finding mens' privates stinky or being overly fastidious. Of course I am aware that sex is messy. Cripes, Ive been having it for most of my life.


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## ripley (Nov 12, 2007)

I'm sorry if you felt I was referring to you, Tina, specifically. I just wanted to show that there were things women said on here that were akin to what the men were saying about vaginas. 


I think I need to take a course or something, because obviously things I say here on dims are pretty much always misunderstood. Or else someone else just posts right after me saying the same thing anyway. What's the point?


----------



## Tina (Nov 12, 2007)

ripley said:


> Or else someone else just posts right after me saying the same thing anyway. What's the point?



That happens to me quite often, too, so I know what you mean. The reason why I felt you were referring to me is because I am the one who brought up the mucous discussion. Given that, and that you mentioned it, it did feel, and seem, like you were referring to me.


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## ripley (Nov 12, 2007)

I didn't recall that it was specific to you. In my recollection it was a small conversation with a few people in it. 

I really don't want to feel bad about what I said; I could not care less if anyone swallows or not.


----------



## Tina (Nov 12, 2007)

I'm not trying to make you "feel bad." You said you were sorry if I felt you were referring to me and I was just pointing out why I did -- that since you specifically referenced what you did, and it was me who brought it up, I mentioned it in my post. I don't see anything wrong with that, either. I'm done with this, it's ridiculous.


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## ripley (Nov 12, 2007)

Tina said:


> I'm not trying to make you "feel bad." You said you were sorry if I felt you were referring to me and I was just pointing out why I did -- that since you specifically referenced what you did, and it was me who brought it up, I mentioned it in my post. I don't see anything wrong with that, either. I'm done with this, it's ridiculous.



Don't think you could, actually. What I said was in no way an attack on you, or even anything negative about you. 

I formally apologize for referencing you in my post. I meant no harm.


----------



## Tina (Nov 12, 2007)

No need. I already got that from your answer to me. 

I don't think anyone, myself included, was wanting, or trying, for you to feel bad, which you seemed to think or maybe you might not have said you weren't going to feel bad (as if someone expected you to). That is all.


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## CandySmooch (Nov 19, 2007)

Ok someone give me some rep cuz as a newbie I sat here and read ALL 29 pages.........yes ALL 29 PAGES!!! AND LAUGHED MY ASS OFF ALL THE WAY!

Since I am a poster at work, I have to refrain myself from commenting further as I enjoy my job and wouldn't want to place myself in jeopardy.


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## Candy_Coated_Clown (Jan 15, 2008)

turn offs:


bad, neglected and nasty hygiene overall

screaming, squealing, yelping and other weird sex noises

alarming, strange, very ugly and/or bizarre facial expressions during sex

extreme submissiveness

cheesy and lame sex talk or statements and I REALLY DO NOT like the idea of using mommy, daddy or any other family related names in the bedroom. Yuck. I never understood this attraction.

too much body hair, especially pubic region/back/butt/chest. 

lack of sensuality and sexual intuition

too much talking

the idea of angry sex. I just don't feel sexual when I am very angry, sad or stressed out. I don't mix sexual pleasure with these emotions. Not wired this way.

sex with loud porno tape playing in background

sex with socks on only (I have this thing with socks anyway, please take them off and keep them away especially if someone uses them like shoes...ugh!)

excessive clumsiness and strong lack of body awareness (I am not trying to be repeatedly punched/elbowed/kneed accidentally in the tit, mouth, stomach or vulva or any other sensitive area for that matter)


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 15, 2008)

Candy_Coated_Clown said:


> turn offs:
> 
> 
> bad, neglected and nasty hygiene overall
> ...




Way to resurrect the thread.

I .....find that my facial expressions are not all that controllable in the throes of passion.....let's hope they aren't gruesome.


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## ClashCityRocker (Jan 15, 2008)

turn offs...
-horrible smelling downstairs
-really messed up feet(like those toes that look like wilt chamberlain's fingers)
-obnoxious scrunch face
-obnoxious moans(the ones that dont even sound natural)
-bad kissing
-if this one makes sense...not "feeling" it during coitus...like if she's on top and essentially doing all the work, but just kinda going through the motions, but not for lack of interest or passion, it's more like a defecit in...gahhh, THAT's why DANCERS DO IT BETTER


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 15, 2008)

I have to agree with ClashCityRocker that bad kissing is a big no no :doh:


I have also decided that yelling at me for things I didn't do, pulling me around by my hair, calling me names (outside of the things I asked to be called during sex ) , and putting me down are definite cut-offs to the love canal


----------



## themadhatter (Jan 15, 2008)

ClashCityRocker said:


> -obnoxious scrunch face



This is the first thing that comes to mind for some reason...


----------



## kathynoon (Jan 15, 2008)

One guy I had been with a while back decided that if I made any noise, he had to imitate it. That got old real fast.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 15, 2008)

kathynoon said:


> One guy I had been with a while back decided that if I made any noise, he had to imitate it. That got old real fast.




I love people that imitate me because it brings out my inner devil that would make noises such as saying "John is an a**hole" just to see if he would repeat it


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 15, 2008)

If they are not fun in bed!! I like to be adventurous and have fun.


----------



## Candy_Coated_Clown (Jan 15, 2008)

ClashCityRocker said:


> turn offs...
> 
> -bad kissing



How could I forget this one...I agree with this being another turn-off.




RedVelvet said:


> turn offs...
> 
> Way to resurrect the thread.
> 
> I .....find that my facial expressions are not all that controllable in the throes of passion.....let's hope they aren't gruesome.



I meant facial expressions that just look incredibly weird. Erotic expressions are fine. I didn't mean _any_ facial expressions were a turn off. I find erotic expressions attractive as we all make them to some degree and it indicates pleasure and enjoyment, but I am talking about the faces that say the porn star Lex Steele is known for making. 

Dude just looks _incredibly ridiculous_ during sex...almost downright *scary*. Now something along that line would be a turn-off.


----------



## liz (di-va) (Jan 15, 2008)

kathynoon said:


> One guy I had been with a while back decided that if I made any noise, he had to imitate it. That got old real fast.



that is LAME!! hehehehehe...gawd!


----------



## Ryan (Jan 15, 2008)

Bad feminine odor. :blink:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 15, 2008)

Ryan said:


> Bad feminine odor. :blink:




Is this as bad as the odors you mention in another thread?


----------



## Ryan (Jan 15, 2008)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Is this as bad as the odors you mention in another thread?



Old people smell and broccoli farts? I'd have to say that it's worse. Bad feminine odor can really kill the mood for me. Not that the other two wouldn't also kill the mood, but I don't do old people and I've never had a woman fart on me during sex (and fish smells worse than broccoli, in my opinion).


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 15, 2008)

Ryan said:


> Old people smell and broccoli farts? I'd have to say that it's worse. Bad feminine odor can really kill the mood for me. Not that the other two wouldn't also kill the mood, but I don't do old people and I've never had a woman fart on me during sex (and fish smells worse than broccoli, in my opinion).



Have you tried scented candles? Some smell just like pumpkin pie......
















Gawd, I cracked myself up with this for some absurd reason :huh: :happy:


----------



## Smushygirl (Jan 15, 2008)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Have you tried scented candles? Some smell just like pumpkin pie......
> 
> Gawd, I cracked myself up with this for some absurd reason :huh: :happy:



Just tell him it's his upper lip!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 15, 2008)

Smushygirl said:


> Just tell him it's his upper lip!




"The smeller's the feller...."


----------



## mossystate (Jan 15, 2008)

kathynoon said:


> One guy I had been with a while back decided that if I made any noise, he had to imitate it. That got old real fast.



*L*...was he James Taylor to your Carly Simon?...sorry, just have the Mockingbird playing in my head..






*eta...Greenie....ummmmm..your sig....makes it sound like I am some pro-shaver....tsk..tsk.......heh


----------



## CleverBomb (Jan 15, 2008)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Have you tried scented candles? Some smell just like pumpkin pie......
> 
> Gawd, I cracked myself up with this for some absurd reason :huh: :happy:




One time, in Hygiene class at Band Camp....

-Rusty


----------



## Ryan (Jan 16, 2008)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> "The smeller's the feller...."



Men generally don't have bad feminine odor, thank you very much!


----------



## Shosh (Jan 16, 2008)

Ryan said:


> Bad feminine odor. :blink:




Does everybody not shower beforehand? That is a given, no?


----------



## mossystate (Jan 16, 2008)

No, I don't think everybody does..no.


----------



## ClashCityRocker (Jan 16, 2008)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I have to agree with ClashCityRocker that bad kissing is a big no no :doh:
> 
> 
> I have also decided that yelling at me for things I didn't do, pulling me around by my hair, calling me names (outside of the things I asked to be called during sex ) , and putting me down are definite cut-offs to the love canal



right...i've never understood why the whole "insulting" thing was a turn-on for some. im kinda at the opposite end of the spectrum...i stay pretty silent most of the time, which im sure is a turn-off for a lot of people


----------



## Shosh (Jan 16, 2008)

No shower = it aint happening for me. That is just me. Everbody is different I guess.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Jan 16, 2008)

Susannah said:


> No shower = it aint happening for me. That is just me. Everbody is different I guess.



Get married, Susannah. Your perspective will change in a hurry


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 16, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> Get married, Susannah. Your perspective will change in a hurry




LOL - Aint that the truth!! LOL


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 16, 2008)

Gawd...I always wash first....even if its just a "whore's bath"....and I like clean men too...

Y'all get funky your own selves, Misters.


----------



## Shosh (Jan 16, 2008)

RedVelvet said:


> Gawd...I always wash first....even if its just a "whore's bath"....and I like clean men too...
> 
> Y'all get funky your own selves, Misters.




Thank you.:bow:


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 16, 2008)

Susannah said:


> No shower = it aint happening for me. That is just me. Everbody is different I guess.



Agreed. It's just good taste. And I suspect Traci is fussier about cleanliness than she lets on. 



RedVelvet said:


> Gawd...I always wash first....even if its just a "whore's bath"....and I like clean men too...
> 
> Y'all get funky your own selves, Misters.



Hell yes. 

Bathing and being clean before sex is just common courtesy for either sex.


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## mossystate (Jan 16, 2008)

Ok..ummm...my saying that not everybody does shower IMMEDIATELY before sex..well, I meant just that. I got the feeling that what was being said is that some never have times when they have not been toiling in the fields for 10 hours...and are pretty much ' clean '...and just....want some. Because, of course, there is only Lysol clean..or..dumpster fresh


----------



## TraciJo67 (Jan 16, 2008)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Agreed. It's just good taste. And I suspect Traci is fussier about cleanliness than she lets on.



Bite me, Casey. Not that I'm offended by anything you've said ... I just wish to be bitten. By you.

Once upon a time, long before a child came into my life, I had the luxury of "setting the mood" ... taking hot, fragrant baths and using exfoliants and expensive soaps & lotions. Bathing, before loving. Ah, yes. I remember those days, and fondly  

Now, in the days of toddler mayhem, I'm lucky if I have the opportunity to wash my face & brush my teeth before bed. A shower? First thing in the morning, before my little guy wakes up. A bath? If I'm LUCKY, I can carve out some time on the weekend. 

So, no. I don't shower right before those infrequent, happenstance moments that I'm in the mood, he's in the mood, and the baby is (for once) sleeping in his crib, instead of planted, sprawling, between us. And ... it doesn't bother me in the slightest, nor does it make a bit of difference to the hub (who is, frankly, just *grateful* that the planets have aligned, the 7 seals have opened, and I'm not too bone tired to contemplate *getting* into the mood). 

But yeah ... poor hygiene? That's just ... rude. I'm not talking about being filthy or unclean ... just not having the opportunity to "prep" myself in advance anymore. That's just not reality, not in my world, not anymore.


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 16, 2008)

mossystate said:


> Ok..ummm...my saying that not everybody does shower IMMEDIATELY before sex..well, I meant just that. I got the feeling that what was being said is that some never have times when they have not been toiling in the fields for 10 hours...and are pretty much ' clean '...and just....want some. Because, of course, there is only Lysol clean..or..dumpster fresh




nah.....there are in betweens, of course.

LOTS of guys talking about stank here tho...interesting.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Jan 16, 2008)

mossystate said:


> Ok..ummm...my saying that not everybody does shower IMMEDIATELY before sex..well, I meant just that. I got the feeling that what was being said is that some never have times when they have not been toiling in the fields for 10 hours...and are pretty much ' clean '...and just....want some. Because, of course, there is only Lysol clean..or..dumpster fresh



Sigh. As usual, the Mossy summarized in 5 tidy lines what I couldn't verbalize in 5 paragraphs.


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 16, 2008)

^^^ Ahh, good to know. Oh hell yeah, quickies are fun.  I won't pretend I'm a snob with an elaborate process before each time.


----------



## mossystate (Jan 16, 2008)

RedVelvet said:


> nah.....there are in betweens, of course.
> 
> LOTS of guys talking about stank here tho...interesting.



well, let's just say if I were bi, I would steer clear of men like that....and women who are so prissy as to be a complete turn-off....but, yeah, we seem to see a LOT of ' this ' out here..


----------



## mossystate (Jan 16, 2008)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> ^^^ Ahh, good to know. Oh hell yeah, quickies are fun.  I won't pretend I'm a snob with an elaborate process before each time.



oh..admit it....you spend a good 2 hours...prepping.....heh


----------



## mossystate (Jan 16, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> Sigh. As usual, the Mossy summarized in 5 tidy lines what I couldn't verbalize in 5 paragraphs.




Sowwwy...


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 16, 2008)

mossystate said:


> Ok..ummm...my saying that not everybody does shower IMMEDIATELY before sex..well, I meant just that. I got the feeling that what was being said is that some never have times when they have not been toiling in the fields for 10 hours...and are pretty much ' clean '...and just....want some. Because, of course, there is only Lysol clean..or..dumpster fresh



Agreed. My thing was the people bitching about "smells" on women. Agreed; body odor or infection IS a turn off, but if your partner's vagina has a fishy smell, there's a bigger problem than you being turned off. Know what I mean?


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 16, 2008)

mossystate said:


> oh..admit it....you spend a good 2 hours...prepping.....heh



HA! Oh, biting my tongue. But you nearly made me spill a very sexy story! Good try!


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 16, 2008)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Agreed. My thing was the people bitching about "smells" on women. Agreed; body odor or infection IS a turn off, but if your partner's vagina has a fishy smell, there's a bigger problem than you being turned off. Know what I mean?



On the other hand...there are those out there that think ANY scent at all is "bad"....

I wish them luck in all their future fucking endeavors.


----------



## mossystate (Jan 16, 2008)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> HA! Oh, biting my tongue. But you nearly made me spill a very sexy story! Good try!




* buys Casey a very large and volumptuous drink *


----------



## TraciJo67 (Jan 16, 2008)

mossystate said:


> * buys Casey a very large and volumptuous drink *



Don't fall for it, Casey. She's only pretending to be straight ... and she's packing a quite sizeable red herring in her dirty, dirty trousers


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 16, 2008)

RedVelvet said:


> On the other hand...there are those out there that think ANY scent at all is "bad"....
> 
> I wish them luck in all their future fucking endeavors.



YES! I like the way a number of people smell, and the smell of _fresh_ sweat.



mossystate said:


> * buys Casey a very large and *volumptuous* drink *



God love you for using that word!


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 16, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> Don't fall for it, Casey. She's only pretending to be straight ... and she's packing a quite sizeable red herring in her dirty, dirty trousers



LMFAO! Sounds like someone knows from experience!  And does not seem that offput... :smitten:


----------



## TraciJo67 (Jan 16, 2008)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> LMFAO! Sounds like someone knows from experience!  And does not seem that offput... :smitten:



It's fresh off the rumor mill, I swear it.


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 16, 2008)

I just sent out a mass PM you slept with Monique. Is this a problem?


----------



## TraciJo67 (Jan 16, 2008)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> I just sent out a mass PM you slept with Monique. Is this a problem?



Wow, I slept with a cheerleader. Go, me!!!


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 16, 2008)

Addendum PM: Traci Jo slept with the Dallas cheerleaders and did speed!


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 16, 2008)

mossystate said:


> * buys Casey a very large and *volumptuous* drink *



AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


----------



## mossystate (Jan 16, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> It's fresh off the rumor mill, I swear it.




Nothing about me is fresh....fuck me, anyway?

PLEASE start a sexy rumor. I might make it on to the ' Crush ' thread!!! 


I wonder if there is a thread on Dims that has not benn derailed....teeheeee.


edited to add.......RveeJ just had an O...teeheehee


----------



## TraciJo67 (Jan 16, 2008)

mossystate said:


> Nothing about me is fresh....fuck me, anyway?
> 
> PLEASE start a sexy rumor. I might make it on to the ' Crush ' thread!!!
> 
> ...



It turns me on to derail threads. Thus, oddly, I'm rather on topic here.


----------



## mossystate (Jan 16, 2008)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Addendum PM: Traci Jo slept with the Dallas cheerleaders and did speed!




See, that's how rumors get all fun and stuff. She did not do speed. She has a deodorant fetish. While it never quite makes it under her arms, she was actually in the locker room of the football players.....licking Speed sticks.


She is a very sick girl...with a shower fresh mouth.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Jan 16, 2008)

mossystate said:


> See, that's how rumors get all fun and stuff. She did not do speed. She has a deodorant fetish. While it never quite makes it under her arms, she was actually in the locker room of the football players.....licking Speed sticks.
> 
> 
> She is a very sick girl...with a shower fresh mouth.



Hey, it's a helluva lot cheaper than buying mouthwash.


----------



## mossystate (Jan 16, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> Hey, it's a helluva lot cheaper than buying mouthwash.



I would think roll on would be hard to apply to a tongue. Let's think about this....shall we?


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 16, 2008)

mossystate said:


> I would think roll on would be hard to apply to a tongue. Let's think about this....shall we?



Miss Monique, far be it from me to explain... Since men are so clean, why not wash our mouths out with THAT? :eat2:


----------



## TraciJo67 (Jan 16, 2008)

mossystate said:


> I would think roll on would be hard to apply to a tongue. Let's think about this....shall we?



My thinking time is from 3-5pm CST today, and I'm already fully booked. So respectfully, I'll have to decline.


----------



## Jane (Jan 16, 2008)

So now we know, if we wish to avoid sex with certain men, we keep "sardines in a drum" scent by the bedside to splash on at the right moment.


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 16, 2008)

Jane said:


> So now we know, if we wish to avoid sex with certain men, we keep "sardines in a drum" scent by the bedside to splash on at the right moment.



Brilliant!


----------



## TraciJo67 (Jan 16, 2008)

Jane said:


> So now we know, if we wish to avoid sex with certain men, we keep "sardines in a drum" scent by the bedside to splash on at the right moment.



Whatever happened to a good, old fashioned, indifferently proferred "No, I'm too tired/have a headache/am not in the mood"?


----------



## mossystate (Jan 16, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> Whatever happened to a good, old fashioned, indifferently proferred "No, I'm too tired/have a headache/am not in the mood"?



Jesus...you are so Mrs. Cleaver....Jane has the right idea....kick out that janitor...add small fishies.....wheeeeeeee.


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 16, 2008)

"oh!..me oh my....I love piiieeeeee"


----------



## Smushygirl (Jan 16, 2008)

I see no one here has mentioned ball musk. Guys can't even go into the woods at certain times because of it!


----------



## Candy_Coated_Clown (Jan 16, 2008)

RedVelvet said:


> Gawd...I always wash first....even if its just a "whore's bath"....and I like clean men too...
> 
> Y'all get funky your own selves, Misters.



Same way here.


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 16, 2008)

Smushygirl said:


> I see no one here has mentioned ball musk. Guys can't even go into the woods at certain times because of it!





I did I did I did!


----------



## Smushygirl (Jan 16, 2008)

RedVelvet said:


> I did I did I did!



Sorry, dear! Must've missed it!


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 16, 2008)

Smushygirl said:


> Sorry, dear! Must've missed it!




thats ok..I love you and your amazing ladyparts anyway.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Jan 16, 2008)

mossystate said:


> Jesus...you are so Mrs. Cleaver....Jane has the right idea....kick out that janitor...add small fishies.....wheeeeeeee.



Well, I will grant that it has a certain flair ... but frankly, I'm too lazy to keep fish in a barrel.


----------



## mossystate (Jan 16, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> Well, I will grant that it has a certain flair ... but frankly, I'm too lazy to keep fish in a barrel.



Truth be told...same here..I am too busy shooting at them.


and


no such thing as ' ball musk '...sheesh....let's keep this on topic

* brought to you by the fine folks at Massengill ...helping to make women feel like dirty birds, for, well, many years *


----------



## TraciJo67 (Jan 16, 2008)

mossystate said:


> Truth be told...same here..I am too busy shooting at them.
> 
> 
> and
> ...



Yeah, that's what my mother told me, one fine sunny day as we were strolling on the beach. I'd mentioned that sometimes I get that "not so fresh" feeling, and she rolled her eyes and told me to take a fucking shower every now & again. Then she called the makers of "Massengill" a bunch of douches for implying that water 'n vinegar could ever take the place of a good old fashioned bit of soap. Music filled the air, we hugged ... man, it was beautiful.


----------



## Jane (Jan 16, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> Yeah, that's what my mother told me, one fine sunny day as we were strolling on the beach. I'd mentioned that sometimes I get that "not so fresh" feeling, and she rolled her eyes and told me to take a fucking shower every now & again. Then she called the makers of "Massengill" a bunch of douches for implying that water 'n vinegar could ever take the place of a good old fashioned bit of soap. Music filled the air, we hugged ... man, it was beautiful.



The day my mother and I had discussed douche, the world would have ended. If not for her, at least for me.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Jan 16, 2008)

Jane said:


> The day my mother and I had discussed douche, the world would have ended. If not for her, at least for me.



Disclaimer: My post was very much tongue-in-cheek. I'd have died before discussing any feminine issue with my mother :shocked:

Reminds me of a mortifying incident that my mother *did* tell me about though, involving a houseful of company (young Mormon missionaries, to be precise) .... my then 1-year-old brother David, and his unattended presence in the bathroom. Add to that mix the allure of "treasure" in the bottom of the trashcan: A bottle, nozzle attached. Cut to the company in the living room, earnestly giving a talk about the Lord Almighty (Joseph Smith) .... and picture a little one toddling into the living room, bottle in hand, sucking on said nozzle.


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 16, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> =.... and picture a little one toddling into the living room, bottle in hand, sucking on said nozzle.




I would have had a stroke. I would have not been able to stop laughing, and had a stroke.......my god......I cannot DEAL with how funny that is.

<wiping eyes>


----------



## Fascinita (Jan 16, 2008)

Ryan said:


> Men generally don't have bad feminine odor, thank you very much!



Men do, however, smell like balls and sweat socks. Oh, and they smell like corn chips, like _bad_!

And then there are the ones that try to kill the smells with Old Spice, but then you just get the balls, the corn chips, the socks AND the overgrown baby smell all mixed in and trying to be covered up by Old Spice.

----

My turnoffs? Probably only one: willful, arrogant stupidity.


----------



## mossystate (Jan 16, 2008)

Fascinita said:


> Men do, however, smell like balls and sweat socks. Oh, and they smell like corn chips, like _bad_!
> 
> And then there are the ones that try to kill the smells with Old Spice, but then you just get the balls, the corn chips, the socks AND the overgrown baby smell all mixed in and trying to be covered up by Old Spice.
> 
> ...



Bwahahahahahaha


This ain't ancient Egypt...you cannot fool us!!!!


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 16, 2008)

Fascinita said:


> Men do, however, smell like balls and sweat socks. Oh, and they smell like corn chips, like _bad_!
> 
> And then there are the ones that try to kill the smells with Old Spice, but then you just get the balls, the corn chips, the socks AND the overgrown baby smell all mixed in and trying to be covered up by Old Spice.
> 
> ...




oh God....you nailed it....the "corn chips and old spice" combo is so bad!..and so common!

(Dogs feet smell like fritos.......ahem...dont even ask me how I know this.)



Attention: Old Spice...never good...really...no woman likes it, or rather its such a statistically small sample its funny...I promise you.

Scents that are nice: Clean Laundry, soap, clean sweat, a little of your musky goodness.....and a hint (for me, anyway..) of scent...my favs being Gaultier's "Male" and L'occitane's "Eau Du Beaux" (hee...eau du beau.....gotta love it)......or L'artisan's "Tea for Two"....man oh man...leather, old books, and chai tea....with smoke...LOVE.


----------



## Fascinita (Jan 16, 2008)

mossystate said:


> Bwahahahahahaha
> 
> 
> This ain't ancient Egypt...you cannot fool us!!!!



Right? "Oh, she'll love me smelling like _Old_ Spice." Because the name reminds women of ancient evenings, the exotic Orient, and horny pharaohs.


Though I must say, it smelled good on my grandpa and dad. Bless their hearts. :wubu: But only on them!


*Red Velvet:* Yeah, some scents are really nice. I used to like Escada for men. My tastes might have changed since, dunno. Nothing sharp, though. Nothing that invades your sinuses. Eau du Beaux I like on just the name  And the smokey part sounds delish. Tobacco can also smell good on a man, in colognes that use it. Yum. I like the smell that come from some pipe tobacco. Hey, how about an Eau du Chien to capture that doggie foot smell? I'm thinking here of Zooey Deschanel in The Good Girl, when she tries to sell an expensive makeup collection to a lady who lunches by telling her it's all the rage in Paris. "Face du Clown," she calls it. As soon as something becomes French, it becomes fancy.


----------



## Blackjack (Jan 16, 2008)

RedVelvet said:


> Attention: Old Spice...never good...really...no woman likes it, or rather its such a statistically small sample its funny...I promise you.



The Bruce disagrees.


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 16, 2008)

Blackjack said:


> The Bruce disagrees.





AHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAH.............


But still.....no.


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 16, 2008)

Fascinita said:


> Right? "Oh, she'll love me smelling like _Old_ Spice." Because the name reminds women of ancient evenings, the exotic Orient, and horny pharaohs.
> 
> 
> Though I must say, it smelled good on my grandpa and dad. Bless their hearts. :wubu: But only on them!




Ok...yes....grandpa's are exempt....sure.


Now, gentleman...care to smell like grandpa?


(and......PUT THAT AXE DOWN RIGHT NOW....yes..you!...)


----------



## mossystate (Jan 16, 2008)

RedVelvet said:


> Ok...yes....grandpa's are exempt....sure.
> 
> 
> Now, gentleman...care to smell like grandpa?
> ...




oh good god...no lie......barf.....of course, many men bathe in nice scents and I also want to tell them....no, you are not Mr Fancy..you stink.......christ, now I have the odor of cologne-y balls deep in the recesses of my brain...


pie....I want ...pie.....you know, I think I will try making one....yeah


----------



## Jane (Jan 16, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> Disclaimer: My post was very much tongue-in-cheek. I'd have died before discussing any feminine issue with my mother :shocked:
> 
> Reminds me of a mortifying incident that my mother *did* tell me about though, involving a houseful of company (young Mormon missionaries, to be precise) .... my then 1-year-old brother David, and his unattended presence in the bathroom. Add to that mix the allure of "treasure" in the bottom of the trashcan: A bottle, nozzle attached. Cut to the company in the living room, earnestly giving a talk about the Lord Almighty (Joseph Smith) .... and picture a little one toddling into the living room, bottle in hand, sucking on said nozzle.



I was referring to the commercials. No, I did not think you had this conversation with your mother!!!!


----------



## Jane (Jan 16, 2008)

Fascinita said:


> My turnoffs? Probably only one: willful, arrogant stupidity.



Relationship ennui

Just because I've let you slide on shit you KNOW is wrong before does not mean I was condoning the activity. It just meant I had more important things to do than pull back on the reins. Shit, man, THINK.

Thinking I am stupid....and that I will fall for any bullshit thrown at me. The neon light on your forehead flashing the word: LIAR kinda gives it away.


----------



## Fascinita (Jan 16, 2008)

Jane said:


> Relationship ennui
> 
> Just because I've let you slide on shit you KNOW is wrong before does not mean I was condoning the activity. It just meant I had more important things to do than pull back on the reins. Shit, man, THINK.
> 
> Thinking I am stupid....and that I will fall for any bullshit thrown at me. The neon light on your forehead flashing the word: LIAR kinda gives it away.



Yeah, yeah. The "thinking I'm stupid" thing. lol 

With the LIAR thing, I saw images flash before me of a certain man I knew a long time ago. I used to wish he had one of those Pinocchio noses, not because I didn't know he was lying everytime and I wanted certainty, but because the growing nose would have forced him to admit that yeah, he'd been caught telling whoppers. The flashing lights would work even better.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Jan 16, 2008)

Okay, wait a second - do you guys REALLY shower immediately before sex?

For me:

Shower, paying special attention to girly parts --> date ----> sex ----> shower with boy ----> more sex, if time.

See, this is the way it's supposed to work!

Please tell me you're not actually like "Mmmmm, you're such a good kisser! One sec while I hop in the shower..."


----------



## mossystate (Jan 16, 2008)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Please tell me you're not actually like "Mmmmm, you're such a good kisser! One sec while I hop in the shower..."




and immediately jumping up ....after....running to the bathroom, praying that no smelly stuff will burrow itself under my skin...making me stink for days...weeks...after?......doesn't everybody?



heh...I know there are degrees, but, yeah, sometimes I wonder about the degrees....but, that's ok...we all gots our weirdness....except me...of course..


----------



## Ernest Nagel (Jan 16, 2008)

I honestly don't recall if I've posted on this thread before? If so, please feel free to throw it back in my face. Reading through recent posts I just have to say I'm nonplussed at how selective and discriminating so many of my fellow FA's appear to be?!? I'm sure I can be equally choosy, at least in the hypothetical and with my gonads in repose. If I'm being totally honest though, and not just to assuage any concerns amongst ladies who who might be daunted by all the forgoing deal breakers , I'm a guy. An old guy at that but still, in my irresolute guyness, I must be quite frank. Once the (BBW) lady bits are out there, she is willing and Mr. Friendly is at full attention, _serious_ sexual turn-offs are more or less limited to castration and, um...well, castration is about it I think? Any philosophical, moral, aesthetic, olfactory, lifestyle or other considerations can be held in abeyance until post coitus; at that point the crotch wants what the crotch wants and incidentals be damned. So my assertion re turn-offs for guys: highly contextual, VERY time sensitive. Absolutes may exist in the imagination but they don't last long once you're between the sheets.

Counterpoints?


----------



## Jane (Jan 16, 2008)

Ernest Nagel said:


> I honestly don't recall if I've posted on this thread before? If so, please feel free to throw it back in my face. Reading through recent posts I just have to say I'm nonplussed at how selective and discriminating so many of my fellow FA's appear to be?!? I'm sure I can be equally choosy, at least in the hypothetical and with my gonads in repose. If I'm being totally honest though, and not just to assuage any concerns amongst ladies who who might be daunted by all the forgoing deal breakers , I'm a guy. An old guy at that but still, in my irresolute guyness, I must be quite frank. Once the (BBW) lady bits are out there, she is willing and Mr. Friendly is at full attention, _serious_ sexual turn-offs are more or less limited to castration and, um...well, castration is about it I think? Any philosophical, moral, aesthetic, olfactory, lifestyle or other considerations can be held in abeyance until post coitus; at that point the crotch wants what the crotch wants and incidentals be damned. So my assertion re turn-offs for guys: highly contextual, VERY time sensitive. Absolutes may exist in the imagination but they don't last long once you're between the sheets.
> 
> Counterpoints?



(Actually, we know this.)

I think most people are talking in the esoteric, or perhaps in the flirting, not so much in the between the sheetsish.


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 16, 2008)

Ernest Nagel said:


> I honestly don't recall if I've posted on this thread before? If so, please feel free to throw it back in my face. Reading through recent posts I just have to say I'm nonplussed at how selective and discriminating so many of my fellow FA's appear to be?!? I'm sure I can be equally choosy, at least in the hypothetical and with my gonads in repose. If I'm being totally honest though, and not just to assuage any concerns amongst ladies who who might be daunted by all the forgoing deal breakers , I'm a guy. An old guy at that but still, in my irresolute guyness, I must be quite frank. Once the (BBW) lady bits are out there, she is willing and Mr. Friendly is at full attention, _serious_ sexual turn-offs are more or less limited to castration and, um...well, castration is about it I think? Any philosophical, moral, aesthetic, olfactory, lifestyle or other considerations can be held in abeyance until post coitus; at that point the crotch wants what the crotch wants and incidentals be damned. So my assertion re turn-offs for guys: highly contextual, VERY time sensitive. Absolutes may exist in the imagination but they don't last long once you're between the sheets.
> 
> Counterpoints?



well sure..when its on its on.

I think we were talking about...getting to where its on.


----------



## AtlantisAK (Jan 16, 2008)

Big turn off for me is when my 'man' believes he knows how to do it in the tush...but really has no clue. Ow...
The second part of that turn off is persistent begging and whining about how he'll 'do it right this time'. Heard that one and listened -way- too often. 
Ouch..
Third turn off is after sex...You know...arent you supposed to cuddle and all? Nah...that turn off is when he gets up, lifts a cheek, farts, then goes to the living room to play video games.
In another situation, I probably would laugh like an idiot at the fart, but not after sex! And wheres -my- attention?!
Thankfully this doesnt happen -all- the time...but perhaps a little too often.


----------



## Ernest Nagel (Jan 16, 2008)

Jane said:


> (Actually, we know this.)
> 
> I think most people are talking in the esoteric, or perhaps in the flirting, not so much in the between the sheetsish.



Of course I know you girls know this, Oh Wise and Wonderful Jane!:bow: I'm just curious how desperately we guys cling to our delusions of control? And while we may choose our flirting targets in the esoteric our boy parts are already unconsciously whipping back the old Wamsuttas for anyone who will give us the time of day. Just sayin'. Man Slut = Redundant. :blush: LOL. 

And ArVee, it may not always be "on" but it's never really "off"; n'mean?:bounce:


----------



## Jane (Jan 16, 2008)

Yeah, I know men say this, but I don't see the ones beating on my door. They must be in another dimension(s).

I've always thought men went into sleep mode after sex, while women enter the "gotta clean the kitchen" mode.


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 16, 2008)

Jane said:


> Yeah, I know men say this, but I don't see the ones beating on my door. They must be in another dimension(s).
> 
> I've always thought men went into sleep mode after sex, while women enter the "gotta clean the kitchen" mode.



I think men get an unfair reputation for their way of dealing with sexual relationships. For the most part, most seem to want stable, loving relationships based on friendship and trust, but like women, are terrified of getting burned. We're not all that different.


----------



## Jane (Jan 16, 2008)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> I think men get an unfair reputation for their way of dealing with sexual relationships. For the most part, most seem to want stable, loving relationships based on friendship and trust, but like women, are terrified of getting burned. We're not all that different.



I agree. I think the "we'll hump anything" line is just that, a line.


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 16, 2008)

Jane said:


> I agree. I think the "we'll hump anything" line is just that, a line.



Oh, it very much protects the ego. Emotional attachment is terrifying. Being candid and real about feelings can get a man terribly burned, but can also be very powerful and sexy.


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 16, 2008)

AtlantisAK said:


> Big turn off for me is when my 'man' believes he knows how to do it in the tush...but really has no clue. Ow...
> The second part of that turn off is persistent begging and whining about how he'll 'do it right this time'. Heard that one and listened -way- too often.
> Ouch..
> Third turn off is after sex...You know...arent you supposed to cuddle and all? Nah...that turn off is when he gets up, lifts a cheek, farts, then goes to the living room to play video games.
> ...



Good god....you poor thing....yech. 

Anal sex is an art, for one thing...the fart and video games combo after is.....is........sexual orientation altering....at least for a bit.


----------



## mossystate (Jan 16, 2008)

* sticks fingers in ears..errr..eyes...lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala *


who is makin me some dinner...?


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 16, 2008)

^ I'm making frozen pizza with spinach, peppers, tomatoes, and mushrooms. And not having sex for awhile! Wanna come over?


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 16, 2008)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> ^ I'm making frozen pizza with spinach, peppers, tomatoes, and mushrooms. And not having sex for awhile! Wanna come over?



me too please....will bring booze and cheesecake.


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 16, 2008)

OOOH! I have a full lliquor cabinet, dear. Rum, vodka, tequila, gin, a few different wines. Cheesecake is perfect.

I'll just set out the liquor and fill it up with all those useless lubes and sex toys.


----------



## Neen (Jan 16, 2008)

B.O! There is just no need to smell.. go put some deoterant on..it's gross!


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 16, 2008)

er....shower's better....Ill take soap over Right Guard.


----------



## mossystate (Jan 16, 2008)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> ^ I'm making frozen pizza with spinach, peppers, tomatoes, and mushrooms. And not having sex for awhile! Wanna come over?



Ok..you are supplying the pizza and some of the booze....RveeJ is handling more booze and cheesecake ( I will make a plea for ' regular ' cake )....so, I will bring the large green salad, unless one of you girls would prefer to do everything....?


* monique, NOT the way to make friends..damn you..no wonder *

ok, after speaking with my other half....put me down for salahd..


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 16, 2008)

mossystate said:


> Ok..you are supplying the pizza and some of the booze....RveeJ is handling more booze and cheesecake ( I will make a plea for ' regular ' cake )....so, I will bring the large green salad, unless one of you girls would prefer to do everything....?
> 
> 
> * monique, NOT the way to make friends..damn you..no wonder *
> ...



I love salad....thats what I will snarf most.
....mmmmmmmmmmm....

Ok...carrot cake for Mossy?


----------



## mossystate (Jan 16, 2008)

RedVelvet said:


> I love salad....thats what I will snarf most.
> ....mmmmmmmmmmm....
> 
> Ok...carrot cake for Mossy?



Ummmm...ok..I won't push it.........

Now, my salad will not be fancy..just full of veggie goodness...red leaf.. romaine.. orange and yellow peppers..red cabbage..english cuke..radishes..red onion..more tomatoes than you, or I, can shake a stick at...and a dressing of BOP..basil/oregano/parsley, which I like to make.......hope Teesell hurries with that pizza....


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 16, 2008)

OOOOH! I love basil! 

To keep on topic:

Bad salads are a turn-off.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 16, 2008)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> OOOOH! I love basil!
> 
> To keep on topic:
> 
> Bad salads are a turn-off.



Yes - but a big sausage makes all things alright - at least for me. LOL


----------



## themadhatter (Jan 16, 2008)

RedVelvet said:


> Attention: Old Spice...never good...really...no woman likes it, or rather its such a statistically small sample its funny...I promise you.



But, but, buut, buut.....you mean???







Bruce Campbell is LYING to me?!?!? SAY IT AIN'T SO! SAY IT AIN'T SO!!!


----------



## AtlantisAK (Jan 16, 2008)

RedVelvet said:


> Good god....you poor thing....yech.
> 
> Anal sex is an art, for one thing...the fart and video games combo after is.....is........sexual orientation altering....at least for a bit.




A sexual orientation altering? Meaning he's reclaiming his manhood after I trounced it from him in bed? Lol.

And yeah, anal sex is. Ive only done it once, with him...and I do know more than he does. The other turn off with him is he doesnt listen, so ya...that does eventually create other problems. Sad thing is, he's older, had more sexual experience, but I technically know and employ more. Weird eh?

Pity me...-puppy eyes-


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 16, 2008)

AtlantisAK said:


> A sexual orientation altering? Meaning he's reclaiming his manhood after I trounced it from him in bed? Lol.



No...I mean..enough bad sex is enough to turn you gay. This was meant as humour.


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 16, 2008)

themadhatter said:


> But, but, buut, buut.....you mean???
> 
> 
> Bruce Campbell is LYING to me?!?!? SAY IT AIN'T SO! SAY IT AIN'T SO!!!



Yes........yes he is. The Devil.

the...handsome devil.

the Absence of Bruce in my life is a turnoff.


----------



## AtlantisAK (Jan 16, 2008)

RedVelvet said:


> No...I mean..enough bad sex is enough to turn you gay. This was meant as humour.



Well, at least i had understood it as some sort of humor, lol. And sadly, he does sometimes make me want to go back to completely liking girls again when he does that. But, fortunately I have my own methods to make him wish he were gay.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 16, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> Get married, Susannah. Your perspective will change in a hurry





Gawd, it wouldn't let me rep................


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 16, 2008)

Ryan said:


> Men generally don't have bad feminine odor, thank you very much!




Even on their upper lip?  











Yes........I really am a baaaaaaaaadddddddddddd girl


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 16, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> Bite me, Casey. Not that I'm offended by anything you've said ... I just wish to be bitten. By you.
> 
> Once upon a time, long before a child came into my life, I had the luxury of "setting the mood" ... taking hot, fragrant baths and using exfoliants and expensive soaps & lotions. Bathing, before loving. Ah, yes. I remember those days, and fondly
> 
> ...



Why don't you just admit that you like it quick and dirty?


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 16, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> Don't fall for it, Casey. She's only pretending to be straight ... and she's packing a quite sizeable red herring in her dirty, dirty trousers




So now I nose who else has seen them.......


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 16, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> Wow, I slept with a cheerleader. Go, me!!!





OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 


MYYYYYYYYYYYY


GAWDDDDDDDDDDDDD



WHY OH WHY CAN'T I REP YOU LIKE I WANT TO??????? :doh:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 16, 2008)

Smushygirl said:


> I see no one here has mentioned ball musk. Guys can't even go into the woods at certain times because of it!





llllloooooooollllllllooooooooooooooooolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll



OH MY GAWD LADY- You're timing is always so impeccable  :bow::bow:









*having mixed feelings about whether or not ball musk is a good or bad thing- you know, gotta take what you can get kind of thing going on here..........~~AHEM~~ nevermind......


----------



## Mini (Jan 16, 2008)

Laughter.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 16, 2008)

Jane said:


> The day my mother and I had discussed douche, the world would have ended. If not for her, at least for me.



Amen ............it was never a good idea to ask my Mom about being a woman :doh:


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 16, 2008)

Mini said:


> Laughter.



I hear you...if you arent just cracking a penis joke (I happen to know yours is monstrous huge...really)...

A little giggling at first..or after...fine....but during always used to really put me off..I tend to be rather serious.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 16, 2008)

Mini said:


> Laughter.



Unless she's pointing too - she could just be having a good time.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 16, 2008)

Fascinita said:


> Though I must say, it smelled good on my grandpa and dad. Bless their hearts. :wubu: But only on them!




and these are men you would never consider having sex with.....get the point, menfolk?


----------



## Smushygirl (Jan 16, 2008)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> llllloooooooollllllllooooooooooooooooolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I never said I didn't like it, I was just pointing out that they can be in danger during deer rutting season.


----------



## Spanky (Jan 16, 2008)

Mini said:


> Laughter.



Crying, too. Seriously. 

Mr. Stiffy Is a real softy around a woman crying. 

So anything in between is "game on".


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 16, 2008)

Spanky said:


> Crying, too. Seriously.
> 
> Mr. Stiffy Is a real softy around a woman crying.
> 
> So anything in between is "game on".



Spanky's penis is also truly enormous.

This...is fact.


----------



## CleverBomb (Jan 16, 2008)

Smushygirl said:


> I never said I didn't like it, I was just pointing out that they can be in danger during deer rutting season.


This is why hunters hide both in blinds and in tree stands.
They don't want to get stuck in a rut.

-Rusty


----------



## Spanky (Jan 16, 2008)

RedVelvet said:


> Spanky's penis is also truly enormous.
> 
> This...is fact.



I got this stamp on it to prove it.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 16, 2008)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Unless she's pointing too - she could just be having a good time.




I did that once............yes I admit it...........but I was a very nervous, shy teen and laughing was easier than running


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 16, 2008)

I .....have a stamp!

Of course.....i cant use it much without seeming arrogant...so thank YOU for making it and using it!..hhhaahahaha.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 16, 2008)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I did that once............yes I admit it...........but I was a very nervous, shy teen and laughing was easier than running



Worst thing I ever did to a guy in bed? Asked him - "Is it in?"

I honestly couldn't feel anything. He was not amused.


----------



## Spanky (Jan 16, 2008)

Projectile menstruating.

<look out>

<duck>


----------



## Smushygirl (Jan 16, 2008)

Spanky said:


> Projectile menstruating.
> 
> <look out>
> 
> <duck>



You mean that time I coughed and my tampon flew out?!!!


----------



## Ryan (Jan 16, 2008)

RedVelvet said:


> On the other hand...there are those out there that think ANY scent at all is "bad"....
> 
> I wish them luck in all their future fucking endeavors.



I'm not bothered by the presence of a scent per se. It's only when the scent is strong and unpleasant that it becomes an issue.


----------



## Ryan (Jan 16, 2008)

Fascinita said:


> Men do, however, smell like balls and sweat socks. Oh, and they smell like corn chips, like _bad_!
> 
> And then there are the ones that try to kill the smells with Old Spice, but then you just get the balls, the corn chips, the socks AND the overgrown baby smell all mixed in and trying to be covered up by Old Spice.



I'm sure that some men smell nasty but, by definition, they can't have feminine odor. And nobody, male or female, should try to cover a smell with perfume/cologne. Smells should be washed away with soap and water.


----------



## Shosh (Jan 17, 2008)

I am not a huge fan of talking about sexual matters in public, but can I just say that anal sex is the most horrible thing ever for me. I do not understand why some enjoy it so much, it is painful. There are so many other pleasurable things that can be done, that I just do not get this particular act.


----------



## TeddyIsMyHero (Jan 17, 2008)

Smushygirl said:


> I see no one here has mentioned ball musk. Guys can't even go into the woods at certain times because of it!



So THAT'S why those deer were stalking me through the woods... :doh: 
Should have had the foresight to perform the holy triangle scrub that morning. Seriously, ball funk is a mutual turn-off.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 17, 2008)

Susannah said:


> I am not a huge fan of talking about sexual matters in public, but can I just say that anal sex is the most horrible thing ever for me. I do not understand why some enjoy it so much, it is painful. There are so many other pleasurable things that can be done, that I just do not get this particular act.



Don't assume that a man knows how to do it right. They tend to get too eager over it. Tell them what to do/feels most comfortable and it can be quite enjoyable. But then again, I'm a freak *shrugs* 






Yes, I will most likely regret this post :doh:


----------



## TraciJo67 (Jan 17, 2008)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Why don't you just admit that you like it quick and dirty?



Damn, a tidy summary in ONE FRICKIN' LINE.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Jan 17, 2008)

RedVelvet said:


> Spanky's penis is also truly enormous.
> 
> This...is fact.



Of course it is, dear. He's a cornfed Minnesooootan, don'tcha know? In dese here parts, all of our menfolk are hung like horses. 








No, GEF, you CANNOT move to Minnesota in 3 minutes flat. It just ... cannot be done.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 17, 2008)

I could tell that Spanky has a huge............nose just from his text alone :bow:


----------



## Shala (Jan 17, 2008)

Susannah said:


> I am not a huge fan of talking about sexual matters in public, but can I just say that anal sex is the most horrible thing ever for me. I do not understand why some enjoy it so much, it is painful. There are so many other pleasurable things that can be done, that I just do not get this particular act.



Eek! Don't scare me.....I really want to try this.


----------



## bexy (Jan 17, 2008)

Shala said:


> Eek! Don't scare me.....I really want to try this.



*
i have one word for you...begins with L and ends in UBE*


----------



## Shala (Jan 17, 2008)

I'm going to give it a go......I'll report back!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 17, 2008)

bexylicious said:


> *
> i have one word for you...begins with L and ends in UBE*




Exactly....and direction is sooo important as well


----------



## Ernest Nagel (Jan 17, 2008)

Jane said:


> I agree. I think the "we'll hump anything" line is just that, a line.



Jane, Dear Heart, If your comment above is in any way in reference to my prior post(s) I must say I feel rather harshly misconstrued (next time please use more lubricant, thank-you.) In vain hopes of setting the record straight let me point out that my post was intended purely in the context of the "Turn-offs" thread which, to me, implies that the issue of turn-ons has been taken as a _de facto_ or default condition, yes?

The question of what turns me on to begin with was therefore irrelevant to the question at hand, which was "what turns me off". In no way was I intending to suggest that I or most other men will "hump anything". My point was that once the fuse _*is*_ lit, the cannon does not suddenly go limp simply because I discover she is pigeon-toed, a Duckfoot Baptist, YellowDog Democrat or shaves her pubes in the image of a guillotine. 

My personal turn-on standards are so far from ecumenical they effectively reduce the dating pool to something between a dating puddle and a dating damp spot. I feel like a nookie camel, the distance between oases has been so long for me of late. Given that fact, that my mating qualifications are so specific, my disqualifications must be proportionately insignificant.

I think as a gross generalization and because it seems rational from a Darwinian perspective, men's libidos tend to be more inclusive; we look for what's really important and tend to overlook any untoward remainder. I don't think that in any way suggests "we'll hump anything"! I am OK with saying we're sluts because to some degree I think our (often arbitrary, capricious and unrecognized) criteria are in control more than we are.

Women, on the other hand, may be less selective in regard to many superficial particulars but far more exclusive where deal breakers are concerned. Makes perfect sense in a Darwinian model, given our reproductive and genetic design, I think? Does tend to make for some rather vexing relationship issues though. Anyway, I'm sure that clears everything right up.


----------



## Jane (Jan 17, 2008)

Ernest Nagel said:


> Jane, Dear Heart, If your comment above is in any way in reference to my prior post(s) I must say I feel rather harshly misconstrued (next time please use more lubricant, thank-you.) In vain hopes of setting the record straight let me point out that my post was intended purely in the context of the "Turn-offs" thread which, to me, implies that the issue of turn-ons has been taken as a _de facto_ or default condition, yes?
> 
> The question of what turns me on to begin with was therefore irrelevant to the question at hand, which was "what turns me off". In no way was I intending to suggest that I or most other men will "hump anything". My point was that once the fuse _*is*_ lit, the cannon does not suddenly go limp simply because I discover she is pigeon-toed, a Duckfoot Baptist, YellowDog Democrat or shaves her pubes in the image of a guillotine.
> 
> ...



Rinse, repeat. (Do you write disclaimers for a living?)

And, yes, I am a Yellowdog Democrat.

(Leaving in my own Huff...with a hmmrrppphhh back over my shoulder)

(Insert sarcasm smilie here)


----------



## Ernest Nagel (Jan 17, 2008)

Jane said:


> Rinse, repeat. (Do you write disclaimers for a living?)




I like to think of myself as more of an inspiration for them.

[/QUOTE]And, yes, I am a Yellowdog Democrat.[/QUOTE]

Do you prefer having your belly rubbed or scratched behind your ears? What makes you wag your tail?

[/QUOTE](Leaving in my own Huff...with a hmmrrppphhh back over my shoulder)[/QUOTE]

Hate to see you go but love to watch you walk away. :smitten: ALWAYS loved that line!

[/QUOTE](Insert sarcasm smilie here)[/QUOTE]

Sarcasm belies unsatiated or repressed desires, or so I'm often told? Thanks for the great setup lines! Mebbe we should do standup together or something? Say g'night, Janie.


----------



## Jane (Jan 17, 2008)

We're going to have to work on your use of the "quotes" feature (unless you're like me and don't GAF).

Like to be petted...once someone starts, I direct them well.

No, sarcasm keeps me from getting my 2x4 out and seeing whatever is near.


----------



## Spanky (Jan 17, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> Of course it is, dear. He's a cornfed Minnesooootan, don'tcha know? In dese here parts, all of our menfolk are hung like horses.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 17, 2008)

I love American penis. American men in general. You, for the most part, are pretty kind and sweet and honorable, and you all want to be James Bond, but are usually very responsible, committed, and manage to often take excellent care of your families....

I romanticize Americans, because I am one now, and have ridiculously high expectations of them.....

This ..ahem...makes me bitter, often...but still...Give me a strapping, corn and beef fed handsome American man.


----------



## Shosh (Jan 17, 2008)

bexylicious said:


> *
> i have one word for you...begins with L and ends in UBE*



I have three words for you Bexy, it aint happening.

I have a real aversion to it. No and no.

I enjoy other things very much, but this, no.


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 17, 2008)

Again..anal sex is an art...done well..its hot...done poorly..its a nightmare....


Its mostly done poorly..so I understand your aversion. You get to like what you like, of course.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Jan 17, 2008)

As much as this thread goes in every direction, it is so full of WIN regardless.


----------



## Shosh (Jan 17, 2008)

RedVelvet said:


> Again..anal sex is an art...done well..its hot...done poorly..its a nightmare....
> 
> 
> Its mostly done poorly..so I understand your aversion. You get to like what you like, of course.



Thank you Arvee. I guess also I think about what the physiological purpose of the anus is, and cannot seperate that from the sexual act.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 17, 2008)

Think "multi-purpose" or "multi-tasking"....


----------



## TraciJo67 (Jan 17, 2008)

Susannah said:


> Thank you Arvee. I guess also I think about what the physiological purpose of the anus is, and cannot seperate that from the sexual act.



Dunno why, but this reminds me of the good old college days, staying over in my boyfriend's apartment, witnessing his roommate going through a parade of different women (almost nightly). One particularly vigorous morning after (I'm assuming here, judging by the sounds coming through the paper-thin walls), I hear her asking him if he has a spare toothbrush that she can borrow. He says no, she can just use his. She balks at this and tells him that it's unsanitary. I'll never forget his incredulous response: "Last night you had my DICK in your mouth ... and today you can't handle my TOOTHBRUSH?!?!" 

Oh, yeah, now I remember why: The mouth serves a very different function most of the time, too


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 17, 2008)

Good point there TraciJo.......


----------



## Shosh (Jan 17, 2008)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Think "multi-purpose" or "multi-tasking"....



I have always been poor at multi tasking. Thankfully!!!! Ha.

Thanks Fairy.


----------



## Shosh (Jan 17, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> Dunno why, but this reminds me of the good old college days, staying over in my boyfriend's apartment, witnessing his roommate going through a parade of different women (almost nightly). One particularly vigorous morning after (I'm assuming here, judging by the sounds coming through the paper-thin walls), I hear her asking him if he has a spare toothbrush that she can borrow. He says no, she can just use his. She balks at this and tells him that it's unsanitary. I'll never forget his incredulous response: "Last night you had my DICK in your mouth ... and today you can't handle my TOOTHBRUSH?!?!"
> 
> Oh, yeah, now I remember why: The mouth serves a very different function most of the time, too




Yes, but the mouth isn't a sewer, no?


----------



## Jane (Jan 17, 2008)

Susannah said:


> Yes, but the mouth isn't a sewer, no?



Never been around when my gall bladder is acting up, have we?


----------



## Ernest Nagel (Jan 17, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> "Last night you had my DICK in your mouth ... and today you can't handle my TOOTHBRUSH?!?!"



TraciJo, If I wanted to use this as my new sig line should I attribute it to you or "anonymous roommate"?


----------



## TraciJo67 (Jan 17, 2008)

Ernest Nagel said:


> TraciJo, If I wanted to use this as my new sig line should I attribute it to you or "anonymous roommate"?



Why would you want such an obnoxious phrase as a sig line, anyw --- 

Oh.


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 17, 2008)

Susannah said:


> Yes, but the mouth isn't a sewer, no?




'pends on the mouth.


----------



## bexy (Jan 17, 2008)

Susannah said:


> I have three words for you Bexy, it aint happening.
> 
> I have a real aversion to it. No and no.
> 
> I enjoy other things very much, but this, no.


*
thats ok, i dont have the equipment for it anyways so no loss to me *


----------



## Ryan (Jan 17, 2008)

Spanky said:


> Its not corn, dear, its yellow Viagra pills.
> 
> Yoooooooooou Betchaaaaaa.



Fargo is in North Dakota!


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 17, 2008)

Ryan said:


> Fargo is in North Dakota!



YA! But yanno...they talk like that in other states too, yanno.


----------



## Ryan (Jan 17, 2008)

RedVelvet said:


> YA! But yanno...they talk like that in other states too, yanno.



Even California?


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 17, 2008)

Ryan said:


> Even California?



Well...they speak with an english accent in california...but only in this 2 foot radius, at the moment.

I was speaking of minnesoooooooooooota.


----------



## Spanky (Jan 18, 2008)

Ryan said:


> Fargo is in North Dakota!



All of the characters and all of the main scenes are in Minnesota. The first scene is in Fargo and the whole mess winds up in Bismarck. 

But then I though everyone south of the Mason Dixon talked like Texans.


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 18, 2008)

Spanky said:


> All of the characters and all of the main scenes are in Minnesota. The first scene is in Fargo and the whole mess winds up in Bismarck.
> 
> But then I though everyone south of the Mason Dixon talked like Texans.






Do you have.....the accent?...really?....its SO cute I would just eat you up.


----------



## Spanky (Jan 18, 2008)

RedVelvet said:


> Do you have.....the accent?...really?....its SO cute I would just eat you up.



No, I can imitate it. I'm from Philly originally. Good luck with that accent. Maybe that is a sexual turnoff (trying to keep OT) 

But if you believe, really believe, then it will be true......then you can eat me up.


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jan 18, 2008)

< Born in MN, but cannot do the accent. 

I can do a hell of a southern accent when drunk.

And that would turn anybody off.


----------



## RedVelvet (Jan 18, 2008)

I love almost all American accents. WEST Texas is a wee bit harsh, but even that can be kinda charming.


----------



## CandySmooch (Feb 12, 2008)

MUST Resurect thread.......


----------



## Shosh (Dec 25, 2008)

Ruby Ripples said:


> The mere suggestion of sucking my toes, ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Stay AWAY from my feet completely!!



Hahaha. I think I have a foot fetishist on my hands K. I do not get it, but he likes it I guess.


----------



## Uriel (Dec 25, 2008)

1: Smoking, Absolute deal-breaker.

2: Someone who doesn't bathe frequently. This hasn't been a big deal, and plays into a Fetish of mine, in a pinch (I love giving girls a bubble bath...Mmmm...bubble bath), but I'm not a fan of stinky.

3: Pubic hair. Well, hairy at all , but pubic in particular. I hear a lot of pros and cons (Pro: Bald looks like a child...which is ridiculous. Con: Hairy looks primitive or animal-like. I don't think hairy makes someone looks like a Sasquatch, equally silly). It's just that I don't like hair in my teeth,
and I like to spend _quite a lot_ of time down there *Ahem*.

4: Someone too self-conscious. The last girl that I was seeing regularly was so shy that I had to go around and make sure that the windows were all closed, music was up, etc...It sort of killed spontaneity. She was a lovely thing otherwise, however...



-Uriel


----------



## The Orange Mage (Dec 25, 2008)

Lots of things will kill my boner...

Anything more than a brief bit of tongue sprinkled about
Any super-hard spankings or bitings and such
Oral sex of any sort
Having my nuts touched, and even then I really gotta be in the mood for any of my junk to be touched directly.

Yeah, an unusual set of turn-offs I guess.


----------



## Shosh (Dec 25, 2008)

The Orange Mage said:


> Lots of things will kill my boner...
> 
> Anything more than a brief bit of tongue sprinkled about
> Any super-hard spankings or bitings and such
> ...



That is interesting. I thought that all guys love at least having oral performed on them.
I know some guys do not like to perform oral though.


----------



## pinkylou (Dec 25, 2008)

Liars...

Everything else is pretty much okay


----------



## Shosh (Dec 25, 2008)

pinkylou said:


> Liars...
> 
> Everything else is pretty much okay



You are easy to please!


----------



## HDANGEL15 (Dec 25, 2008)

*hmmm an interesting topic to think of on Xmas morn 

stinky balls are a pretty big buzz kill to me along with uncleanliness

forests down under, just trim it up a little fellows...you *GENERALLY* prefer us to do some grooming...well...so do we

a man that doesn't like to KISS :doh: wuts up with that..

men trying to go to the anal zone....TOO quickly.....ease into that..puleeease

men with zero skills who wanna get a nut and go......CYA

keeping it simple....that's an ez short list 
*


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 25, 2008)

Susannah said:


> That is interesting. I thought that all guys love at least having oral performed on them.
> I know some guys do not like to perform oral though.



Men that don't like oral are a turn off for me 



HDANGEL15 said:


> *
> 
> stinky balls are a pretty big buzz kill to me along with uncleanliness
> 
> ...



I approve her list....works for me. :bow:

Cougars unite....and just say no to stinky balls


----------



## JMNYC (Dec 25, 2008)

Had to think, and came to the conclusion that there's nothing my partner of 12 years does that turns me off. It's the opposite, really. Everything from the little indentation above her mouth, to her flaming red tresses, to everything else pretty much puts me in a semi-permanent state of dog-dom.


----------



## troubadours (Dec 25, 2008)

i really dislike when i'm about to do it with a dude and they compare me to some other model they like. lol like not really what i want to be thinking about, but okay (this is not about my boyfriend btw, i know no one knows him but i wouldn't want people to think i'm in a retarded relationship)

i also really hate catching someone in a lie, it makes me really angry, as if my intelligence has been insulted.

other turn offs arrogance/dudes who brag about dumb shit ($$$ doesn't impress me, bro, i'm totally fine with buying my own shit) annnnd whiny guys.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 25, 2008)

I don't like it when a guy insists that I have an orgasm EVERY time- yet gets put out when I don't cum fast enough :doh: Who needs pressure like that?????

Fuck, just do it guy. I will let you know when it's *my* turn


----------



## Shosh (Dec 25, 2008)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I don't like it when a guy insists that I have an orgasm EVERY time- yet gets put out when I don't cum fast enough :doh: Who needs pressure like that?????
> 
> Fuck, just do it guy. I will let you know when it's *my* turn



Yes! Being asked "Did I make you %^M?"  A hundred times.

It is like travelling in the car as a kid asking "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"


----------



## johnnytattoos (Dec 25, 2008)

Dirty shoes.

Fake boobs.

Poor speaking skills. No, actually I don't know where the waiter is at. Irregardless? Really?

Girls with obsessive compulsive disorder. It is _so _difficult to find a rhythm when she keeps getting up to make sure all 7 dead bolts are still locked. Additionally, counting out loud with every thrust is such a mood killer. I'm not saying it was all bad, a guy can get used to having freshly pressed curtains every week.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Dec 25, 2008)

Susannah said:


> Hahaha. I think I have a foot fetishist on my hands K. I do not get it, but he likes it I guess.


OK, you have to clarify here. Don't confuse a foot afficianado, who is perhaps someone who enjoys kissing or sucking a woman's toes, with a foot fetishist, who gets off smelling stinky shoes, or wraps his junk in a recently-used nylon to cum, and when he does, he does it into a size 8 stiletto heel. By certain standards, women with more than 20 pairs of shoes could be considered a foot fetishist of sorts, if you consider a fetish to be arousal in someone caused by an inanimate object or behavior. And you would be surprised at the near-orgasmic experience I've seen in a woman when they found the perfect shoe at a sale, how their eyes light up when they fit perfectly into an open-toed sandal or how relaxed they are after a full pedicure. I love a woman's feet as much as I do her body or her eyes or her laugh, but it's not the only thing I would focus on. If you catch him going through your shoe closet, then you can worry .

And the operative question is, did YOU enjoy it? If it turns you off you need to tell him, because more often than not half the reason he does it is to please YOU.



Uriel said:


> It's just that I don't like hair in my teeth,
> and I like to spend _quite a lot_ of time down there *Ahem*.


With the sheer number of males and females on here that go on and on about how they just LOVE giving oral sex for hours and hours, one wonders why Dimensions doesn't skew the curve when polls indicate how much of the general population apparently doesn't (or does so poorly).



Susannah said:


> That is interesting. I thought that all guys love at least having oral performed on them.
> I know some guys do not like to perform oral though.


I find any play with my nipples to be extremely uncomfortable, and I realize many women love sucking or biting a man's nipples. I don't get much out of fellatio (not that I don't enjoy it), I just prefer doing something else more active. I've been told by some men that if I was with someone who gave really good head I'd enjoy it more, but I disagree. I've been with women who were almost giddy (see above) with the idea of giving head, I just was always more anxious to get all in her business .



HDANGEL15 said:


> *stinky balls are a pretty big buzz kill to me along with uncleanliness*


 
Are we talking "schwetty" stink or "assy" stink? One is a frequency issue, the other is completely technique. I'm kind of a clean freak, so I try to ensure anytime I may be getting fromunda action that I am well bathed.

*



forests down under, just trim it up a little fellows...you *GENERALLY* prefer us to do some grooming...well...so do we

Click to expand...

*I would say that some of us try but a) trimming too close is difficult when things are so 'wrinkly' and b) I'm taking note to my dermatologist to have that skin tag removed; they do not do well if caught in a trimmer.



Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I don't like it when a guy insists that I have an orgasm EVERY time- yet gets put out when I don't cum fast enough :doh: Who needs pressure like that?????
> Fuck, just do it guy. I will let you know when it's *my* turn


So you're saying he goes down on you first but can't keep it up for more than his allotted 5 minutes, wherein he expects you to have multiples by then? Or is it that he's going on and on and can't seem to hit it, and then gets frustrated because he's not getting it right?

As for the guys, I plead the Sam Kinison 5th: If you don't cum, some of us feel like we didn't do our job, not to mention the fact that a post-orgasmic vagina (to me) feels 100x better during intercourse. Did he bother to ask what you do and don't like ahead of time, fingers or not, etc.? Was this the first time he went down on you? So much of those initial experimentations are lile coital negotiations; trying to find out what your partner does and doesn't like, how much communication is too much, should you whip out a toy, etc., but then some people feel that their partner _should_ know the basics ahead of time, and that what works for one will work for all. Such a conundrum.

Then again check with Uriel. He seems to know what to do .


----------



## Smushygirl (Dec 26, 2008)

The Orange Mage said:


> Lots of things will kill my boner...
> 
> Anything more than a brief bit of tongue sprinkled about
> Any super-hard spankings or bitings and such
> ...



So what do you do?


----------



## Cors (Dec 26, 2008)

Aw I wish my partner will be receptive to my feet fetish! Most cases are pretty mild to me, but I guess it depends on the extent. 

Someone who is completely unresponsive. One of my worst fears, but I haven't encountered that yet. 

Oh, the classic. Poor hygiene and being all shameless about it. I once ended up with a woman that does not believe in cleaning her vag and ass at all, even after doing her business. She then had the audacity to get all offended when I refused to go down on her. Yuck, typing this makes me want to retch.


----------



## Your Plump Princess (Dec 26, 2008)

Armpit Hair. Honestly!
We could be in the middle of sexing it up in the most amazing of ways.
As soon as I See Armpit Hair? GONE!..All Hormonal Urges, GONE!

Un-Hygenic Tendancies.
Don't Wash? You can Suck/Lick it yourself then, buddy.

Those Lay-Still-as-statue types. WTF am I doing? Your income taxes? I don't think so!

Grunting. Need I say More? 

Slang Terms. I am TOTALLY More than willing to participate in ''dirty talk''. But Slang Terms just... I don't know. They just totally throw me off.


Any Involvement of My, Or Their, Behinds. 
..And Feet. I don't care what they touch it with or how. Unless it's a spanking through something like panties, It isn't going to happen if they actually want to acheive something soon. :/ 

[More. Too tired to think.]


..OH. 
Repetition, in Dirty Talk.
REALLY? If you run out of things to say. 
Think some up before-hand.
Or TAKE A REST and just don't talk dirty!


----------



## Shosh (Dec 26, 2008)

Cors said:


> Aw I wish my partner will be receptive to my feet fetish! Most cases are pretty mild to me, but I guess it depends on the extent.
> 
> Someone who is completely unresponsive. One of my worst fears, but I haven't encountered that yet.
> 
> Oh, the classic. Poor hygiene and being all shameless about it. I once ended up with a woman that does not believe in cleaning her vag and ass at all, even after doing her business. She then had the audacity to get all offended when I refused to go down on her. Yuck, typing this makes me want to retch.



What is it you like so much about feet? Just interested, as I have wondered about that.


----------



## djudex (Dec 26, 2008)

When women lift up their breast and suck on their own nipple. For whatever reason it really turns me right off.


----------



## Wantabelly (Dec 26, 2008)

No fat, the light being on and a creaking bed.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing (Dec 26, 2008)

Wantabelly said:


> No fat, the light being on and a creaking bed.



I personally dig on the creaky bed. As an FA, it is totally a sign of you know, YOU KNOW.

If the bed isn't creaking at first, IT WILL BE.


----------



## Wantabelly (Dec 26, 2008)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> I personally dig on the creaky bed. As an FA, it is totally a sign of you know, YOU KNOW.
> 
> If the bed isn't creaking at first, IT WILL BE.



I see your point.... but it really bugs me.


----------



## superodalisque (Dec 26, 2008)

callousness and a lack of sensitivity


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 26, 2008)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> OK, you have to clarify here. Don't confuse a foot afficianado, who is perhaps someone who enjoys kissing or sucking a woman's toes, with a foot fetishist, who gets off smelling stinky shoes, or wraps his junk in a recently-used nylon to cum, and when he does, he does it into a size 8 stiletto heel. By certain standards, women with more than 20 pairs of shoes could be considered a foot fetishist of sorts, if you consider a fetish to be arousal in someone caused by an inanimate object or behavior. And you would be surprised at the near-orgasmic experience I've seen in a woman when they found the perfect shoe at a sale, how their eyes light up when they fit perfectly into an open-toed sandal or how relaxed they are after a full pedicure. I love a woman's feet as much as I do her body or her eyes or her laugh, but it's not the only thing I would focus on. If you catch him going through your shoe closet, then you can worry .
> 
> And the operative question is, did YOU enjoy it? If it turns you off you need to tell him, because more often than not half the reason he does it is to please YOU.



It's very hard for me to cum under pressure- I can cum from cunninglingus but it takes a LONG LONG TIME for me to get there- I get there much quicker if he plays into my submissive tendencies. I prefer for him to cum first anyway.....cause I'm usually NOT multi-orgasmic and starting wishing he would effing be done already if I cum first- and I hate having to pretend I want him to continue. 
Now....if he plays it the way I like it, he cums like crazy, gets stars in his eyes when it's over and keeps telling me how effing hot it all was over and over. I am a submissive...that likes it her way....and I do so enjoy my work


----------



## mossystate (Dec 27, 2008)

superodalisque said:


> callousness



What about calloused feet. You into those? Huh? Huh? Well, are ya?


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 27, 2008)

A guy that is dumber than a box of rocks is a HUGE turn off.....:doh:






Yeah I was just talking to one......remind me to never do that again :doh:


----------



## Surlysomething (Dec 27, 2008)

Men who can't wait to get to the freakin' money shot.
Slow down.

No stamina.

Baby talk. Ugh.

Bad kissers. 

Men who won't let me go down on them but expect to go down on me and bring me to a kajillion orgasms. Yeah, not going to happen.


----------



## superodalisque (Dec 27, 2008)

mossystate said:


> What about calloused feet. You into those? Huh? Huh? Well, are ya?



i can use a pedegg in some very sensual ways


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 27, 2008)

Surlysomething said:


> Men who won't let me go down on them but expect to go down on me and bring me to a kajillion orgasms. Yeah, not going to happen.



That pisses me off too. I can't do what I ~enjoy~ doing cause he doesn't like it- but his awesome prowess cannot be resisted- even if he's doing something I don't always like either? I tend to make a grocery list and look at the clock a lot after that.......



superodalisque said:


> i can use a pedegg in some very sensual ways



The quoted post above yours just gave me a really good idea of WHERE to use that pedegg on some individuals.......


----------



## Cors (Dec 27, 2008)

Susannah said:


> What is it you like so much about feet? Just interested, as I have wondered about that.



Hmm. I have always found dainty, well-groomed feet beautiful and worthy of worship, and strive to keep mine that way. I also have a major weakness for high heels, mostly for the looks but I love the idea of keeping them on (along with beautiful hoisery) in bed. 

I also remember dreading massage sessions at a young age. My feet are way too sensitive, it felt intrusive and inappropriate and I got all aroused from the intense sensations. It was quite mortifying having to hide it from family members who think it is no big deal. I didn't realize it was a known fetish until much later, and then I started craving more attention on feet. 

I think my fetish is mild compared to what I have seen on some sites since I am not into odour, trampling, humiliation or footjobs and I get turned on just fine without it. My partner isn't into feet, but he tries to compliment them and give them some love. It feels reaaally good (almost better than oral, and I love oral) when he does it and I am happy that he remembers. Sometimes I do get greedy and crave more though. :/


----------



## Surlysomething (Dec 27, 2008)

Cors said:


> Hmm. I have always found dainty, well-groomed feet beautiful and worthy of worship, and strive to keep mine that way. I also have a major weakness for high heels, mostly for the looks but I love the idea of keeping them on (along with beautiful hoisery) in bed.
> 
> I also remember dreading massage sessions at a young age. My feet are way too sensitive, it felt intrusive and inappropriate and I got all aroused from the intense sensations. It was quite mortifying having to hide it from family members who think it is no big deal. I didn't realize it was a known fetish until much later, and then I started craving more attention on feet.
> 
> I think my fetish is mild compared to what I have seen on some sites since I am not into odour, trampling, humiliation or footjobs and I get turned on just fine without it. My partner isn't into feet, but he tries to compliment them and give them some love. It feels reaaally good (almost better than oral, and I love oral) when he does it and I am happy that he remembers. Sometimes I do get greedy and crave more though. :/


 
I thought you were gay? Man, I need to keep up. Haha.


----------



## Cors (Dec 27, 2008)

Surlysomething said:


> I thought you were gay? Man, I need to keep up. Haha.



Haha. Sexuality is a weird thing indeed. Curvy females turn me on, I prefer female traits in a partner and I do not find male genitalia attractive at all, so I identify as lesbian for convenience's sake (I prefer pansexual). I guess I can love anything that isn't too male - most females barring extremely butch ones, FtMs, MtFs, genderqueer and otherwise neutral people. 

I've only dated females in the past, but I somehow fell for my pretty male best friend online. He's the best thing that has happened to me, and it works for me that he is asexual, looks androgynous and I don't quite see him as male if that makes sense.


----------



## Johnny718Bravo (Dec 28, 2008)

Women who use teeth. That's all I'll say


----------



## mimosa (Dec 28, 2008)

Ouchie!:




Johnny718Bravo said:


> Women who use teeth. That's all I'll say


----------



## troubadours (Dec 28, 2008)

Wantabelly said:


> a creaking bed.



ia it's too distracting


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 28, 2008)

Johnny718Bravo said:


> Women who use teeth. That's all I'll say




Yeah, people that bite in sensitive places, oh gawd :doh:

An ex-bf bit me on my soft inner thigh as he was having an orgasm....it left this HUGE black bruise there for over two weeks. He was shocked at how that happened from "a little nip" (it sure as hell didn't feel like a little nip to me). 

Though....I think I understand where you meant more specifically, Johnny


----------



## Uriel (Dec 28, 2008)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> With the sheer number of males and females on here that go on and on about how they just LOVE giving oral sex for hours and hours, one wonders why Dimensions doesn't skew the curve when polls indicate how much of the general population apparently doesn't (or does so poorly).
> 
> 
> I find any play with my nipples to be extremely uncomfortable, and I realize many women love sucking or biting a man's nipples. I don't get much out of fellatio (not that I don't enjoy it), I just prefer doing something else more active. I've been told by some men that if I was with someone who gave really good head I'd enjoy it more, but I disagree. I've been with women who were almost giddy (see above) with the idea of giving head, I just was always more anxious to get all in her business .
> ...



Goddammit, you made me snort Dr. Pepper out of my nose laughing...
More to that in a minute...And Rep coming right up! (Not that I really get the lure of 'Rep', so I just toss themout like brown M&Ms...).

I wasn't aware that so many guys were orally obsessed on here. I know a few other guys in real life, but also a few that hate giving it.
I have just loved it for as long as a girl can take it, but it isn't always wonderful...the stinky comment that you made can come into play.
I have never asked 'Um, did you just fart?', but we all know that it happens, and I usually take the moment to get a drink of water (And try not to snicker, so as to not make a girl 'Die from embarrassment' or what-not. No, that isn't what made me have the Dr. Pepper moment...

I personally love m nipples sucked/bitten, whatever, but I sort of agree with you on the fellatio, it is ok, but unless it is in a '69', I get bored easily. No, that is not what made me snort Dr Pepper...

No, it was the wrinkly balls/shaving/skintag comment.
I have a skin tag on my thigh that has caused a few worried (And naive, as to skin tags, it would seem) girls to say 'Um, what is that!?!', which allows me to give a worn, but handy speech on skin tags.

It really was the 'wrinkly skin' comment, however, with my painful-yet-funny memory of the one time I tried to use an electric shaver.....Um, Ouch. My then-girlfriend laughed and laughed when she saw my band-aid, pouty face and hilariously laughing roommate (Hovering just outside me doorway, waiting for her reaction, mirrorinh his own, when he heard me scream and then start to cuss, having removed a tiny, yet painful piece of scrotum...Ouch, the memory).

Needless to say, thanks for the memory...Heheh

0Uriel

PS: And yes, I do know what I am doing down there...as lobg as there isn't a forest to hack through...I suppose I could bring my kukri and a flashlight, but I'd rather not.


----------



## djudex (Dec 28, 2008)

> I wasn't aware that so many guys were orally obsessed on here.



I would imagine that it's a fairly common thing in fat guys to be orally inclined, after all, it's fairly obvious we love to eat


----------



## Uriel (Dec 28, 2008)

Stupid typos...see what I get for posting from my phone, in a car?


-Uriel


----------



## Surlysomething (Dec 29, 2008)

Cors said:


> Haha. Sexuality is a weird thing indeed. Curvy females turn me on, I prefer female traits in a partner and I do not find male genitalia attractive at all, so I identify as lesbian for convenience's sake (I prefer pansexual). I guess I can love anything that isn't too male - most females barring extremely butch ones, FtMs, MtFs, genderqueer and otherwise neutral people.
> 
> I've only dated females in the past, but I somehow fell for my pretty male best friend online. He's the best thing that has happened to me, and it works for me that he is asexual, looks androgynous and I don't quite see him as male if that makes sense.


 

Interesting.  For a second I thought I was losing my mind.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Dec 30, 2008)

Uriel said:


> Goddammit, you made me snort Dr. Pepper out of my nose laughing...
> More to that in a minute...And Rep coming right up! (Not that I really get the lure of 'Rep', so I just toss themout like brown M&Ms...).


Thankee sai for the rep, good sir. Sorry about your burned out nose. Glad I don't owe you a new keyboard.



> I wasn't aware that so many guys were orally obsessed on here. I know a few other guys in real life, but also a few that hate giving it.


 I wasn't trying to make light of it too much, but depending on what threads you read and who is posting, you would imagine some men spend all day buried in a woman's nethers, and only come out to eat, bathroom or bathe (and of course the drink of water).



> I have just loved it for as long as a girl can take it, but it isn't always wonderful...the stinky comment that you made can come into play.
> I have never asked 'Um, did you just fart?', but we all know that it happens, and I usually take the moment to get a drink of water (And try not to snicker, so as to not make a girl 'Die from embarrassment' or what-not. No, that isn't what made me have the Dr. Pepper moment...


 For whatever reason, even women who you have thanked and complimented on their taste, texture, etc., even women you have been with for years, are STILL second-guessing it every time you venture below
whether they have an _odeur_. I don't know why it's been so deeply reinforced in society, almost as deeply as fear of spiders and creepy things.



> I personally love m nipples sucked/bitten, whatever, but I sort of agree with you on the fellatio, it is ok, but unless it is in a '69', I get bored easily. No, that is not what made me snort Dr Pepper...


 I wouldn't say I get bored, I just enjoy doing more rather than just laying there. So much of fellatio you see in porn is wholeheartedly domineering and controlling (not that women dislike that, but again, there are always layers), and for the most part I just like to watch her work. Feedback is always essential, there are the women who suck too lightly as if they're trying to disarm a bomb under your frenulum using only their tongue; other women suck so hard you wonder if it's going to cause your testicles to implode from the vacuum forces.



> It really was the 'wrinkly skin' comment, however, with my painful-yet-funny memory of the one time I tried to use an electric shaver.....Um, Ouch. My then-girlfriend laughed and laughed when she saw my band-aid, pouty face and hilariously laughing roommate (Hovering just outside me doorway, waiting for her reaction, mirrorinh his own, when he heard me scream and then start to cuss, having removed a tiny, yet painful piece of scrotum...Ouch, the memory)..


 I too have worn the testicular band-aid of "Oh shit". I would also say that nicks down there bleed like a mo-fo. I recommend a Sponge-Bob bandaid since it detracts from the humility somewhat.



> PS: And yes, I do know what I am doing down there...as lobg as there isn't a forest to hack through...I suppose I could bring my kukri and a flashlight, but I'd rather not.


+10 points to your Nerd Quotient for the mention of an obscure bladed weapon.


----------



## JoiseyTomata (Dec 31, 2008)

Men who think they know where your "spot" is and are way off.... the worst part is you try nicely to guide them and they argue with you............talk about a moment killer.


----------



## fffff (Dec 31, 2008)

nose hair


but when I'm not interested and really want to kill the mood I just say the word "pregnant."


----------



## Uriel (Dec 31, 2008)

JoiseyTomata said:


> Men who think they know where your "spot" is and are way off.... the worst part is you try nicely to guide them and they argue with you............talk about a moment killer.



"But I saw it on Wikipedia!!! And all women are built the same, right!?!"

I knew a guy who was convinced of this, and his ability to always find the Spot, digging around down and in there...I never saw him with the same girl for very long.


-Uriel


----------



## Surlysomething (Dec 31, 2008)

Surlysomething said:


> Men who can't wait to get to the freakin' money shot.
> Slow down.
> 
> No stamina.
> ...


 

Weak, pussy-assed men.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 31, 2008)

Surlysomething said:


> Weak, pussy-assed men.



I seriously always get some urge to bitch slap this kind just to show my dominance  

Gawd.......:doh:


----------



## johnnytattoos (Jan 4, 2009)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> ..If you don't cum, some of us feel like we didn't do our job, not to mention the fact that a post-orgasmic vagina (to me) feels 100x better during intercourse...



I'm pretty sure I saw _post-orgasmic vagina_ play at Lilith Fair in '97 or '98.


----------



## Fascinita (Jan 5, 2009)

My biggest sexual turnoff is Lemon Zinger herbal tea.


----------



## chicken legs (Jan 5, 2009)

being a nagging nitpick..dries me right up..lol


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Jan 5, 2009)

chicken legs said:


> being a nagging nitpick..dries me right up..lol


Well, quit doing it then.


----------



## chicken legs (Jan 5, 2009)

lol...i will try


----------



## TraciJo67 (Jan 5, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> My biggest sexual turnoff is Lemon Zinger herbal tea.



Wow. Different strokes, different folks. Lemon Zinger herbal tea is the only thing in this world that gets my engine revvin'.

Well, that and a plate of finger sandwiches.


----------



## sweetMNgal (Jan 5, 2009)

*Baby talk, mental midgets, and lack of confidence are major turnoffs for me.*


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Jun 5, 2011)

to be honest,the other person not being into it.if i can tell the other person is not into it,that would be my biggest turn-off.i can handle most other things.lol


----------



## WomanlyHips (Jun 5, 2011)

Insincerity and back hair, *lol.*


----------



## KittyKitten (Jun 5, 2011)

A selfish lover or a man that won't cuddle after making love to him.


----------



## imfree (Jun 5, 2011)

A good lover might just cuddle before, during, and after making love.:happy:


----------



## Zandoz (Jun 5, 2011)

Uncontrolable laughter and pointing


----------



## pegz (Jun 5, 2011)

Zandoz said:


> Uncontrolable laughter and pointing



LOL... I needed that  I <3 this comment....


----------



## JulieD (Jun 5, 2011)

poor dental hygiene and body odor... all i'm asking is that you take regular baths and brush your teeth... seriously


----------



## Diana_Prince245 (Jun 5, 2011)

Back hair and cat haters


----------



## Morbid (Jun 5, 2011)

smokers breath, bad hygine, and just sheer nastiness..


----------



## ConnieLynn (Jun 5, 2011)

Someone who is into 'dirty talk'. I tend to either find it stupid or offensive. Either way, it's a mood killer.


----------



## luvbigfellas (Jun 5, 2011)

No reciprocation. That's apt to make me think either you're a selfish fucking bastard, or anyone else you've been with asked you to stop because you didn't know what you were doing. Or you're simply a wussy who's scared of looking at a vagina.


----------



## penguin (Jun 5, 2011)

Disrespect.


----------



## Morbid (Jun 5, 2011)

luvbigfellas said:


> No reciprocation. That's apt to make me think either you're a selfish fucking bastard, or anyone else you've been with asked you to stop because you didn't know what you were doing. Or you're simply a wussy who's scared of looking at a vagina.





I'm glad i'm not selfish, I've never been asked to stop ( I do know what I'm doing..lol) and I'm so not scared to look at a vagina...

but I also agree with the No reciprocation aspect also...


----------



## luvbigfellas (Jun 5, 2011)

I knew a girl who didn't give blowjobs. And she wondered why not many people wanted to sleep with her a second time. I explained this to her...and she freaked out.


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## Morbid (Jun 5, 2011)

I knew a guy who didn't like going down on women after they gave him a blow job and here's a shocker... He's still single and doesn't understand why...


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## Surlysomething (Jun 5, 2011)

happyface83 said:


> A selfish lover or a man that won't cuddle after making love to him.



And I don't want him to touch me after. You know, until i'm breathing normally. Haha.


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## JulieD (Jun 6, 2011)

this:


ConnieLynn said:


> Someone who is into 'dirty talk'. I tend to either find it stupid or offensive. Either way, it's a mood killer.



makes me do this:


Zandoz said:


> Uncontrolable laughter and pointing



and then i have to get up and leave because once i start to laugh uncontrollably, there is no coming back from that....and i will call you, promise  
no, i wont...but hold your breath anywayz


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## Sweetie (Jun 6, 2011)

I don't remember its been so long.


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## PunkyGurly74 (Jun 6, 2011)

Sweetie said:


> I don't remember its been so long.



i know...whats this sex thing they speak of??? lol


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## imfree (Jun 6, 2011)

PunkyGurly74 said:


> i know...whats this sex thing they speak of??? lol



Good question. I remember from last century, when I was still married...


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 6, 2011)

PunkyGurly74 said:


> i know...whats this sex thing they speak of??? lol



In my limited experience it's something that goes by so fast you barely have a chance to form an opinion.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jun 6, 2011)

LillyBBBW said:


> In my limited experience it's something that goes by so fast you barely have a chance to form an opinion.



I can't rep you, dammit, but *snort!*


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## danbsc29630 (Jun 6, 2011)

I do not think tattoos are sexy.


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## SarahLaughsAlot (Jun 6, 2011)

the biggest turn off ever, aside from lying and leading people on, sexually would be Body Odor, i can handle a lot of stuff but nasty armpits about make me weak! lol


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## imfree (Jun 6, 2011)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> I can't rep you, dammit, but *snort!*



Me, neither, someone please help us!!!


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## BigBootyAsshley (Jun 6, 2011)

I 2nd Sarah! Yuck!



SarahLaughsAlot said:


> the biggest turn off ever, aside from lying and leading people on, sexually would be Body Odor, i can handle a lot of stuff but nasty armpits about make me weak! lol


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## Kamily (Jun 8, 2011)

SarahLaughsAlot said:


> the biggest turn off ever, aside from lying and leading people on, sexually would be Body Odor, i can handle a lot of stuff but nasty armpits about make me weak! lol



Amen. That is just nasty!


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## mz_puss (Jun 10, 2011)

Bad Hygiene in general is just ewwwwww, but the worst for me personally is smokers. Just yuck. ( no offense to any smokers here )


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## spiritangel (Jun 10, 2011)

mz_puss said:


> Bad Hygiene in general is just ewwwwww, but the worst for me personally is smokers. Just yuck. ( no offense to any smokers here )



totally 100% agreed


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## riplee (Jun 11, 2011)

spiritangel said:


> totally 100% agreed



Depends on what's being smoked.


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## bonified (Jun 12, 2011)

SarahLaughsAlot said:


> the biggest turn off ever, aside from lying and leading people on, sexually would be Body Odor, i can handle a lot of stuff but nasty armpits about make me weak! lol



Crusty baked on rankness compared to someone who has showered that morning & done a lot of yard work or been to the gym etc is diff, the salty sweaty man smell is an absolute killer to me. Get a lil dirtier, then get clean again... 

Selfishness and unecessary bullshit are major turnoffs for me.


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## CastingPearls (Jun 12, 2011)

bonified said:


> Crusty baked on rankness compared to someone who has showered that morning & done a lot of yard work or been to the gym etc is diff, the salty sweaty man smell is an absolute killer to me. Get a lil dirtier, then get clean again...
> 
> Selfishness and unecessary bullshit are major turnoffs for me.


These work for me too.

Also an unwillingness to try ANYTHING new at all.


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