# When being soft makes life hard?



## Tad (Jan 31, 2017)

I was at the dentist this morning, and it occurred to me that while there is typically ten or so people in the waiting room at 8am, I never see anyone any fatter than I am (and Im not particularly fat). And Ive been going to this dental practice for ten years. Really strange coincidence, or could it be that this practice isnt all that fat friendly, and larger patients tend to migrate elsewhere?

Which got me thinking (I had time to kill while the hygienist was doing her stuff). Ive heard quite a bit of the issues that BBW face with fitting into chairs in various locations, so am pretty aware how much many struggle with theatre seats, airlines, even waiting room chairs. Occasionally will see a BHM mentioning the need for a seat belt extender, or mutters about finding clothes that fit well. Around here we have probably all seen stories of people going to the doctor because of a bad throat infection and being told they should lose weight, as if they were somehow connected.

But outside of doctors, I dont think that there has been a lot of discussion of where BHM are apt to face size difficulties or where/when they feel they are facing discrimination?

So throwing the floor open. How/where/when does your size make life more challenging, and while we are at it which of those things do you think are active discrimination, and which are people people just being lazy or not thinking about the size and limits larger bodies?


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## rabbitislove (Jan 31, 2017)

Being pretty pint sized I cant comment too much, however, have some thoughts after dating a rather large BHM. 

My boyfriend and I are thinking about going on vacation and getting a cabin this summer. I dont think most places understand that "2 person hot tub" is not a "2 person hot tub" when you're dating a dude who is 6'7 and 455 lb. I dont take this as intentionally fat-phobic, just something not considered.

Also airplanes. It works better for me to fly to Alberta to see Djudex as seats are only made for average sized folks. I would maybe lean more towards airplanes being size discriminatory based on horror stories Ive heard and that they have not seemed to listen to feedback from customers of size. I dont mind going as Alberta is not the boring-redneck infested wasteland its often made out to be


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## dwesterny (Jan 31, 2017)

rabbitislove said:


> Being pretty pint sized I cant comment too much, however, have some thoughts after dating a rather large BHM.
> 
> My boyfriend and I are thinking about going on vacation and getting a cabin this summer. I dont think most places understand that "2 person hot tub" is not a "2 person hot tub" when you're dating a dude who is 6'7 and 455 lb. I dont take this as intentionally fat-phobic, just something not considered.
> 
> Also airplanes. It works better for me to fly to Alberta to see Djudex as seats are only made for average sized folks. I would maybe lean more towards airplanes being size discriminatory based on horror stories Ive heard and that they have not seemed to listen to feedback from customers of size. I dont mind going as Alberta is not the boring-redneck infested wasteland its often made out to be



Hot tubs typically are not a problem, whirlpool baths can be tricky. The really nice ones go in a corner and are huge. The type in the picture below is big enough for me (540 lbs) and an FFA. It's the only type of soaker tub I've found that can accommodate a SSBHM and another person. Other soaker tubs sometimes aren't big enough for me alone. It depends on the type. 

View attachment 8662590199_0c8346bcba_z.jpg


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## DianaSSBBW (Jan 31, 2017)

rabbitislove said:


> My boyfriend and I are thinking about going on vacation and getting a cabin this summer. I dont think most places understand that "2 person hot tub" is not a "2 person hot tub" when you're dating a dude who is 6'7 and 455 lb. I dont take this as intentionally fat-phobic, just something not considered.



I dated someone that is 6'6" and was over 500 Lb. and back then I was about 350 Lb and hot tubs were never a problem.


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## Fat Molly (Feb 2, 2017)

I think the saddest thing that me and the bf have faced is having to avoid going to indie movie theaters 

like movies are generally a pretty fat friendly activity but we have to check with all these little indie movie places in the city, bc most of them were built in the 1920s or so when people were generally smaller, and few can accommodate my man's 500lb ass.


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## biglynch (Feb 2, 2017)

At work we have a train and the saet placement sucks. The aisles are super narrow that most average sized people go through sidways. It makes me very angry as its horrible to work on. im not the largest guy in the world and i have seen bigger people have an awful tim getting past to the tolets.
Hopfully by May they will all be gone. 

View attachment P1030312.JPG


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## loopytheone (Feb 2, 2017)

biglynch said:


> At work we have a train and the saet placement sucks. The aisles are super narrow that most average sized people go through sidways. It makes me very angry as its horrible to work on. im not the largest guy in the world and i have seen bigger people have an awful tim getting past to the tolets.
> Hopfully by May they will all be gone.



Wow, that's crazy! I guess this is the reason most trains only have two seats on either side.


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## fat hiker (Feb 2, 2017)

biglynch said:


> At work we have a train and the saet placement sucks. The aisles are super narrow that most average sized people go through sidways. It makes me very angry as its horrible to work on. im not the largest guy in the world and i have seen bigger people have an awful tim getting past to the tolets.
> Hopfully by May they will all be gone.



Oh yes, those commuter trains with the 3+2 seating - they can be SNUG. And British railway cars are not as wide as continental European or American, so they are even more snug.

The only place I've seen 3+2 seating that was comfortable was Finland - but they use the Russian loading gauge, so their railway cars are even wider than in the USA.


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## Fat Molly (Feb 2, 2017)

goodness @biglynch that's awful i'm sorry to see that


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## BigChaz (Feb 2, 2017)

Fat Molly said:


> I think the saddest thing that me and the bf have faced is having to avoid going to indie movie theaters
> 
> like movies are generally a pretty fat friendly activity but we have to check with all these little indie movie places in the city, bc most of them were built in the 1920s or so when people were generally smaller, and few can accommodate my man's 500lb ass.



I know this feeling so well. I went to our local theater here to see a play with friends and made it into the seat with about 90% of me smushed over the sides and unable to take a full breath.

At a hockey game a few weeks ago I just flat out couldn't get into the damn seat. I ended up setting on a stool at a bar instead, haha


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## lille (Feb 2, 2017)

My fiancé had an issue fitting in some rides when we went to Sic Flags and unfortunately not all had tests seats so he waited in line the whole time only to discover he didn't fit.


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## Fat Molly (Feb 3, 2017)

yeah, being fat in a small-sized world definitely is an unpleasant experience in many ways. so stigmatizing sometimes, and it makes ppl feel super bad about themselves often.  

hooray for us embracing and reclaiming those feelings - the world is too small for us!


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## extra_fat_guy (Feb 6, 2017)

People outside of dims would probably be surprised at the number of things a big person has to worry about. Pretty much everywhere I go seating is an issue. Restaurants, movie theatres, jobs, and friends houses. I have never been on airplane, train, or taken a cruise. As a coach I ride on a bus a lot and that isn't fun. I take my own lawn chair with me in case I need it. Hate when I am out with my friends at a bar and they want to sit at the bar or at a tall table. Those chairs are always so small. Restrooms can be an issue too. Honestly I just don't think it crosses their minds to even consider big people when a lot of things were built.


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## Fat Molly (Feb 6, 2017)

extra_fat_guy said:


> People outside of dims would probably be surprised at the number of things a big person has to worry about. Pretty much everywhere I go seating is an issue. Restaurants, movie theatres, jobs, and friends houses. I have never been on airplane, train, or taken a cruise. As a coach I ride on a bus a lot and that isn't fun. I take my own lawn chair with me in case I need it. Hate when I am out with my friends at a bar and they want to sit at the bar or at a tall table. Those chairs are always so small. Restrooms can be an issue too. Honestly I just don't think it crosses their minds to even consider big people when a lot of things were built.



Yep despite how much people claim to like big butts. :/


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## djudex (Feb 6, 2017)

extra_fat_guy said:


> People outside of dims would probably be surprised at the number of things a big person has to worry about. Pretty much everywhere I go seating is an issue. Restaurants, movie theatres, jobs, and friends houses. I have never been on airplane, train, or taken a cruise. As a coach I ride on a bus a lot and that isn't fun. I take my own lawn chair with me in case I need it. Hate when I am out with my friends at a bar and they want to sit at the bar or at a tall table. Those chairs are always so small. Restrooms can be an issue too. Honestly I just don't think it crosses their minds to even consider big people when a lot of things were built.



So very true. As an ogre sized manbeast I pretty much don't fit anywhere. I haven't been on a true international flight so I can't say for the bathrooms in the larger planes but the bathrooms in the 2x2 and 3x3 planes are simply to small for me to use. I had to use one once and I literally had my head bent forward into my chest, my knees resting on the toilet frame as I stuffed my dick between my legs and pissed straight down trying to not bank the urine stream off my balls. After that I simply don't drink the day of a flight I have to take so I don't have to piss. God help me if I ever had to take a deuce on a plane... Plus the fact that I need two seats no matter what, even if I wasn't fat my knees wouldn't fit in the space provided.

Aside from my plane pet peeves there are many restaurants I can't sit in a booth, I can't sit on the patio (damn plastic chairs) and echo the hating to sit at the bar or the 'tall table'. Taxi cabs? Nope. Buses and trains? Better stand or have the sideways facing seats available. Thank the gods for the new luxury movie theatres with the 'love seat' units with the movable arm rest in the middle or I'd be Netflixing every movie I'd ever want to see.

I could go on but you guys I'm sure are getting the drift. 

GOD DAMN PYGMIES!!!!!


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## bigmac (Feb 6, 2017)

I've been flying as a "non-revenue" passenger recently. The free part is great. However, the fact you get whatever seat is left (i.e. a middle seat) sucks when you weigh almost 300 pounds.


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## extra_fat_guy (Feb 7, 2017)

It is bad when you have to worry about riding in a friend's car. Fitting in the car is one thing but trying to buckle the seatbelt can be trouble. Most of the time I volunteer to drive. Which I don't mind because it is easier for me to stay awake driving on long road trips. Don't need everyone hearing me snore.


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## bigmac (Feb 8, 2017)

I keep a seat belt extender the glove box for my fatter friends.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Feb 8, 2017)

bigmac said:


> I keep a seat belt extender the glove box for my fatter friends.



I thought about this. But I drive a Toyota, and the glove box is barely big enough to hold the owner's manual ... all three volumes.


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## extra_fat_guy (Feb 8, 2017)

I bought one for the work vehicle I have to drive during football season. I hate it only fits certain types of vehicles. I don't need one for my car. Generally I just avoid places that I know have small chairs or seats.


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## Tracii (Feb 9, 2017)

Wow that train is just crazy not fat friendly at all.
What are those yellow disc things on top of the seat backs?


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## bigmac (Feb 9, 2017)

extra_fat_guy said:


> I bought one for the work vehicle I have to drive during football season. I hate it only fits certain types of vehicles. I don't need one for my car. Generally I just avoid places that I know have small chairs or seats.



You generally don't have to pay for them. If you go to a dealer they should just give you an extender or two.


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## bigmac (Feb 9, 2017)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> I thought about this. But I drive a Toyota, and the glove box is barely big enough to hold the owner's manual ... all three volumes.



My Volvo V70 has a big glove box and a pretty spacious center console. It has lots of legroom, and decent headroom, but its hip room is pretty tight (designed for tall thin people). The extender works great for my big bellied 340 pound friend but doesn't help my big hipped 380 pound friend who really has to squeeze.


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## biglynch (Feb 10, 2017)

Tracii said:


> Wow that train is just crazy not fat friendly at all.
> What are those yellow disc things on top of the seat backs?


 so when the peak hits people ave to stand. These are for holding onto. Not the best.


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