# Ectopic Pregnancy(graphic and gross)



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Mar 28, 2007)

Ok. I _finally_ feel ready to talk about this.

I'm posting this for all of you ssbbw's out there that are under the misconception that you cannot get pregnant due to your size.

Feb 19 I was admitted to the hospital. I was there for a solid 6 days (I was allowed to go home at 9pm the following Sat)

I don't even know where to start. I have dealt with so many emotions with this. Used to be I couldn't even think about it without crying, but I am getting better.

It all started in early Jan. I missed my first period, BUT being large, having PCOS and moving to a crazy country, I just figured it was ok and would sort itself out.

WRONG! BIG FAT WRONG!

Then Feb came. I started spotting and then really started to wonder if I could be pregnant. Which confused me cos I hae been told by many Dr's that my size wouldn't allow such a thing. I did have lots of the signs tho. Sleepy all the time, crazy emotional, gained weight and more. 

Mid Feb I got a severe cramp....like someone reached up and grabbed my ovary and stabbed it over and over with a dull spork. It hurt. Then....I bled....I bled very bad and heavy. I had to take pain killers to fall asleep. It felt like labor...the pains came in contractions. omg it was horrible. I thought I was having a miscarrage. That was on a Wedneday. It happened a couple of more times before I begged Mike to take me to the ER (boys aren't exactly the instinctive type sometimes!!!) 

In the ER I was given a preg test which still came back positive. Mike turned white at the results. He didn't think/wanna believe I was pregnant. We honestly didn't think it was possible. It was then that I had to deal with the emotions. I had a baby inside of me and I knew the pregnancy wasn't going to last.

A week from the ER visit and a couple of more nights in labor like pain, I had an ultrasound. The ultrasound wasn't clear enough to show much, but they could see nothing in the womb, a lot of excess fluid in the abdomen and something on my right ovary. I was bleeding like crazy by this point.

It was then that they admitted me. The first day and a half in the hospital was miserable and I thought they were nuts. I felt completely healthy. But then by the end of the second day I was having labor pains again...and this time they didn't end. I had Dr's coming in and out explaining what could go wrong.

Basically an Ectopic Pregnancy is "Ectopic pregnancy, also known as a tubal pregnancy, occurs when the pregnancy implants outside of the womb. It can occur in several places, eg. the ovary, the abdomen, the cervix, at the join between the tube and the womb (cornua), but the most common place is within the fallopian tube. Pregnancy can even occur in both the womb and the tube at the same time (heterotopic pregnancy), but this is rare, occuring in only about 1/10,000 pregnancies." http://www.womens-health.co.uk/ectopic.asp

If my tube had burst or I showed signs of internal bleeding, I would have had to go into surgery. Typically, on a normal sized woman they can do the procedure laproscopically, but because of my size and shape, that was not an option. I was nearly staring death in the face and I was alone. Mike refused to face the fact that I could die. It's a man thing...or so the pamplet the Dr gave me said. I was so close that I gave my mom a just in case call which included alot of tears and sobs. I seriously thought I was going to die a million miles away from my family.

Luckily, they were able to give me a shot of methotrexate which seems to have worked. I was ward bound for the rest of my hospital stay. When they let me go home, I was not released from hospital. They actually just released me a week and a half ago. I had to report for weekly blood tests until my hormone levels dropped back to normal.

So, I am alive, but I am still spotting a little...which can happen for up to 6 weeks.

In short...just cos you weight over 500lbs, have PCOS and have been told by Dr's you cannot get pregnant...believe me, you can and it isn't pretty. My weight didn't cause this (for once) However, for my PCOS I take Provera for a few days each month...and a high level of hormones can cause it...so watch out.

If this post only helps one person...it is worth it. It is a scary and lonely thing to go through knowing you have a baby inside of you which is dying and you might die as well.

The Dr's think I was about 8 weeks along.

I'm slowly recovering and praying that it never happens again. Though I still have stabbing pains in my ovary sometimes.


----------



## HugKiss (Mar 28, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your pain and loss. I wish you a speedy recovery of your body and heart.

Kathie

HugKiss


----------



## LillyBBBW (Mar 28, 2007)

O my God ((((Donni)))))! I am so so so so sorry that you went though this. My sister went though something similar last year and it took a long time for her to recover emotionally from it. The pain must have been horrifying with the added bonus of having poor treatment at the hands of people who just don't know what to do. I'm sorry. As I was reading I kept wishing I could have been there to squeeze your hand as you were going through this.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Mar 28, 2007)

LillyBBBW said:


> O my God ((((Donni)))))! I am so so so so sorry that you went though this. My sister went though something similar last year and it took a long time for her to recover emotionally from it. The pain must have been horrifying with the added bonus of having poor treatment at the hands of people who just don't know what to do. I'm sorry. As I was reading I kept wishing I could have been there to squeeze your hand as you were going through this.




I'm lucky in that I wasn't expecting to be pregnant. I hadn't gotten myself hyped up over the idea....had I actually wanted a baby right now....I dunno what I would do.

And I must say...the hospital staff were the best I have been around. They didn't have much of a clue as to handle someone my size, but because I am so mobile I was able to help them and teach. And someone said that it was good for them because I won't be the last large woman in there as the UK gets bigger. The staff was open minded and nice and most of them took an immediate liking to me....in some ways it was better than the medical help I got in the US.

Thank you both for your good wishes I need them as my body still hasnt fully recovered.


----------



## Ruby Ripples (Mar 28, 2007)

I'm so glad you are on the road to recovery now. I was devastated when you told me what had happened, I'm sure writing about it here is a sign of your recovery. We can only hope that as you have said here, someone else in a similar situation to you medically and weight-wise, can learn from it and avoid being in a similar situation. Big hugs to you and Mike, and I hope the rest of your journey to recovery is uneventful.


----------



## imfree (Mar 28, 2007)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> I'm lucky in that I wasn't expecting to be pregnant. I hadn't gotten myself hyped up over the idea....had I actually wanted a baby right now....I dunno what I would do.
> 
> And I must say...the hospital staff were the best I have been around. They didn't have much of a clue as to handle someone my size, but because I am so mobile I was able to help them and teach. And someone said that it was good for them because I won't be the last large woman in there as the UK gets bigger. The staff was open minded and nice and most of them took an immediate liking to me....in some ways it was better than the medical help I got in the US.
> 
> Thank you both for your good wishes I need them as my body still hasnt fully recovered.



Hi BBSSBBW, while I'm saddened by your loss, I'm proud of the
way you helped the hospital staff learn. One of the most valuable life-lessons
I ever learned was to accept my love for being fat and not feel guilty in the presense of medical professionals. I'm 5'8" tall, weigh over 400lbs, severely insulin-resistant diabetic, and even on oxygen. I'm unbelievably healthy, despite these conditions. I manage my conditions responsibly and have great success. Medical people continue to learn from people like us.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Mar 28, 2007)

imfree said:


> Hi BBSSBBW, while I'm saddened by your loss, I'm proud of the
> way you helped the hospital staff learn. One of the most valuable life-lessons
> I ever learned was to accept my love for being fat and not feel guilty in the presense of medical professionals. I'm 5'8" tall, weigh over 400lbs, severely insulin-resistant diabetic, and even on oxygen. I'm unbelievably healthy, despite these conditions. I manage my conditions responsibly and have great success. Medical people continue to learn from people like us.



Yes, and I'm sure the hospitala staff appreciated it too. Sometimes people can be so sensitive about their body that people tend to tred delicately around the subject. It probably came as a delightful relief for them knowing you are so comfortable talking candidly about things.


----------



## chocolate desire (Mar 28, 2007)

Bigbelly my heart goes out to you as I have been in your shoes.. I was not 500 pounds but I was 380 and I had to have surgery. The Dr said 30 more minutes and I would have been dead I was bleeding and the only way to stop it was emergancy surgery. That would have been my 4th child. I got pregnant again right after and misscarried and was told that although I could get pregnant I was to big to carry a baby. What a crock of bull because I had 2 more children and I was well over 460 when I got pregnant with the last one but that was 13 years ago.. I wish you a speedy recovery mentally and physically as I know how hard this can be.. Good luck.


----------



## chunkeymonkey (Mar 28, 2007)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Ok. I _finally_ feel ready to talk about this.
> 
> I'm posting this for all of you ssbbw's out there that are under the misconception that you cannot get pregnant due to your size.
> 
> ...



I am sorry for your loss. I to had so many miscarriages most were early and had to go in twice for DC's because I didn't have enough hormones to expel the baby naturally and when you know that the baby is 12-14 weeks its hard.I have PCOS and was able to get pregnant both with fertility treatments and the ones that were with out fertility treatments i miscarried due to lack of hormones. I hope you get over your loss thoughts and prayers are with you.


----------



## tinkerbell (Mar 28, 2007)

(((hugs))) I am so sorry for your loss and for everything you had to go through.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Mar 28, 2007)

Whoever told you there was no way you could get pregnant did not know what they were talking about. I have PCOS too and while having this makes pregnancy difficult it is certainly not impossible.

Before Wayne got a vasectomy we used condoms every time. Some Doctors are useless when it comes to women's bodies. 

Speedy recovery!


----------



## BothGunsBlazing (Mar 28, 2007)

Wow .. I can't even being to imagine.. as everyone else has said I am so sorry for what you went through and I hope for the best recovery possible ..


----------



## GPL (Mar 28, 2007)

(((((((((((((((((Donni)))))))))))))))))
So sorry to hear this, sweetheart! It must have scared you much.
I'm so glad it worked out well, let's all hope everything will be normal as fast as possible. Being this large and getting pregnant is so difficult and kinda dangerous I wish it wasn't so. Big girls want babies too, right?:kiss2: 

Supertight hugs,
GPL.


----------



## ThatFatGirl (Mar 28, 2007)

I am so sorry you went through this. I hope you're feeling better soon. My heart goes out to you.


----------



## rainyday (Mar 28, 2007)

BigBelly, you're kind to share your story with other women here. I'm so sorry you went through this, but glad to hear you are recovering.


----------



## Risible (Mar 28, 2007)

BigBelly,

I'm so sorry for your's and Mike's loss, and for all the pain and anxiety you are, and have already, gone through.

My best wishes for a continued recovery.


----------



## crazygrad (Mar 28, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your loss and pain. Hope you have a speedy recovery.

When I read stories like yours, I wish we women spoke more openly about things like miscarriage, just to help others feel less alone when it happens. I've had two and went through labor both times. It was totally unexpected and I didn't know what to think or do when it happened. My husband didn't know what to do or say, and some of the doctors were just plain obnoxious. It was the most isolating experience of my life. I'm so sorry you had to experience that as well.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Mar 28, 2007)

crazygrad said:


> I'm so sorry for your loss and pain. Hope you have a speedy recovery.
> 
> When I read stories like yours, I wish we women spoke more openly about things like miscarriage, just to help others feel less alone when it happens. I've had two and went through labor both times. It was totally unexpected and I didn't know what to think or do when it happened. My husband didn't know what to do or say, and some of the doctors were just plain obnoxious. It was the most isolating experience of my life. I'm so sorry you had to experience that as well.



I left out a part of the story....I went to my GP 2 days before the ER. I told her that I thought I had a miscarriage. She just said "oh" and moved on. I was there to get a check up etc, but still...when someone claims they think they had a miscarriage two days ago that a pregnancy test should at least be given? I'm bitter about it and I hope that Dr stubs her toe really hard and breaks it. She hated me because of my size when she first laid eyes on me, I could feel it. Dr's are the scum of the earth sometimes.


----------



## AnnMarie (Mar 28, 2007)

I'm so sorry, but very glad you're healing and things didn't take a turn in any worse direction. 

Best to you both.


----------



## chicagosecretagent (Mar 28, 2007)

I am so very sorry for your loss. 

As a woman, I know how devastating miscarriages can be, both physically and emotionally. 

I hope there are brighter days ahead for you soon.


----------



## Krissy12 (Mar 28, 2007)

I'm really sorry for your and Mike's loss, BBSSBBW. Take your time to mourn and don't let anyone tell you how long that should be. 

I'm glad you're OK though.


----------



## TearInYourHand (Mar 28, 2007)

Wow....this is so horrible that you had to go through this. I wish you well, and you are in my thoughts. Hopefully with every passing day you are feeling better.


----------



## mottiemushroom (Mar 28, 2007)

I'm so sorry to hear about the traumatic time you've had & for your loss. But i applaud your strength & courage in sharing this, & making us aware of the risks. Sending you telepathic healing huggles hun.


----------



## op user (Mar 28, 2007)

I am happy you are ok. And even more that you are well on the way to recovery.

Warm regards,

op user


----------



## Butterbelly (Mar 28, 2007)

I'm sorry for the physical and emotional pain this has caused you. 

I'm glad to hear you are doing better.


----------



## BBW Betty (Mar 28, 2007)

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. ((hugs)) But happy that you are alive and well after the experience.


----------



## ashmamma84 (Mar 28, 2007)

I am so glad you are doing better! I am terribly sorry for your loss as well.


----------



## Fairia (Mar 28, 2007)

I too am sorry to hear of this. I felt my body wretch over the thought of something physically painfully but also watery eyed by hearing of something so terrible and dampening. Even my eyes are still watery, it could also have been a semi-emotional day for me, but it's still there. :kiss2: *and a heart emoticon*


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 28, 2007)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> I'm lucky in that I wasn't expecting to be pregnant. I hadn't gotten myself hyped up over the idea....had I actually wanted a baby right now....I dunno what I would do.
> 
> And I must say...the hospital staff were the best I have been around. They didn't have much of a clue as to handle someone my size, but because I am so mobile I was able to help them and teach. And someone said that it was good for them because I won't be the last large woman in there as the UK gets bigger. The staff was open minded and nice and most of them took an immediate liking to me....in some ways it was better than the medical help I got in the US.
> 
> Thank you both for your good wishes I need them as my body still hasnt fully recovered.



I'm so glad to hear this about the medical help- especially when so far away from "home" and your mother. 
I'm also glad that you are okay and wish you a speedy recovery  
Also, thank you for sharing this story so others know to be cautious. "Never say never"


----------



## Isa (Mar 28, 2007)

Sorry to hear about your loss but am very happy to hear about the great medical care received. That issue of concern is always in the back of my head when I travel abroad. Take care of yourself and I wish you continued good healing.


----------



## Brenda (Mar 28, 2007)

I am so sorry for your loss and for all the pain and fear you went through.

I am very glad that you are okay now and will be fully recovered.

Brenda


----------



## supersoup (Mar 28, 2007)

i don't really know what to say, but don't feel right not adding something. hugs, sorries, and loads of good vibes to you and the mister, and i hope you feel better soon prettiness.


----------



## Waxwing (Mar 28, 2007)

I am so sorry that you went through something so horrific. There's really nothing sufficient to say, but my heart goes out to you.


----------



## BitsyAintMyName (Mar 28, 2007)

Your story reminded me that ectopic pregnancies run in my family, as well as being a BBW. I dunno if the two are related but it seems that way.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Mar 30, 2007)

missaf said:


> Just interjecting my own experience here -- are they sure you had an ectopic pregnancy? The ultrasound -- was it transvaginal, or just on your belly? I have cysts rupture on occasion, but never as bad as the corpus luteum cysts that ruptured when I was pregnant. I swear to God I thought I was going to die.




Yeah they are pretty sure. They did both belly and vaginal US and they both came out inconclusive cos of my size etc. It was then that they decided to admit me for observation. I was in the hospital almost 2 days before my symptoms reoccured, but this time the pain didn't go away like it had before. I was on tylenol (parcetemol), codine AND morphine and I could STILL feel pain. 

That's when they decided it was ectopic and I needed a shot. After the shot my hormones dropped like clockwork and I haven't been in labour since.

So either it is a HUGE coinkikidink orrr I had an ectopic....which would make sence to me....one sided pain....had taken provera pills in early jan....it just all adds up. It would be nice if it wasn't, but at this point I am just thankful for my life


----------



## bigsexy920 (Apr 3, 2007)

So are we. I'm sorry to hear all you went through and it was good of you to share this. 

Be Well 



BigBellySSBBW said:


> I am just thankful for my life


----------



## Luvs2laff (Apr 3, 2007)

My heart and prayers go out to you and Mike.

Such issues relating to pregnancy respect no body shape or size. I have had friends, both thin and fat, who have also experienced sever challenges getting pregnant. Closest to home is my sister, who is a BBW, had similar problems with getting pregnant, and had a number of pregnancies terminate early. I am close to her and shared her and her husband's pain, although as a second party, so I have seen what you are going through before. (I am not going to presume to say I understand the pain, as this is such a personal loss that nobody who hasn't experienced it can fathom the depths of emotion you are going through.) 

Just don't let anyone convince you it is weight-related (and I am glad to see you are not). The doctors never were able to identify what was the problem with my sister - I understand that unfortunately all to often the medical community cannot pinpoint the precise cause of problems getting pregnant. However, one bastard (pardon my French, but it is justified) tried to convince her that if only she lost weight, she would get pregnant. (The genius - who was a fertility expert - told her that losing weight was just a matter of self-control. For example - and this is something he actually said to her - he suggested that she could eat just one potato chip instead of a whole bag. Wow, talk about great empathy!) She finally did get pregnant via IVF with a much nicer team of experts, and I have a wonderful nephew, Cameron, whom I adore. (After the birth, she sent a picture of her son to the doctor who told her that she couldn't get pregnant without losing weight. Go Michelle!)

While it may take some trying, and there may be bumps along the way, you can get pregnant and I know you will have a little one to share your life with one day. This community of friends will be here with you to hold your hand along the way and to celebrate with you when the blessed event occurs.

Be strong, but don't be afraid to lean on Mike's and your friends' shoulders.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery,

Klaus


----------



## icedude122 (May 19, 2007)

i dont mean to push, but im a little unclear, are u still pregnant, or did u miscarry?


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (May 19, 2007)

icedude122 said:


> i dont mean to push, but im a little unclear, are u still pregnant, or did u miscarry?



And Ectopic Pregnancy never survives. So no, I am no longer pregnant.


----------



## EtobicokeFA (May 19, 2007)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> And Ectopic Pregnancy never survives. So no, I am no longer pregnant.



I am so sorry to hear that! My apologizes!


----------



## icedude122 (May 19, 2007)

i am so sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you. and my apologies for asking such a personal question


----------



## TraciJo67 (May 20, 2007)

I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for posting your experience, as I'm sure it will be very helpful. Hopefully, it is cathartic for you as well.


----------



## Cleofatra_74 (Apr 11, 2009)

*I checked with Donni that I could add stuff to this thread. Thank you!!

I'm going to add my story, just not right now as it's after 1am & I shall be here all night trying to make sense. I am going to do things back to front & post a poem (of sorts) that I wrote on the day my baby was due. Turns out it was great therapy & also helped my loved ones understand abit more about where I was coming from & what I was feeling.*



I was feeling a little off,
not feeling the best
Mum said "Do a pregnancy test"

the test was positive,
it was a HUGE shock,
OMG it's time to see the Doc!

Another positive,
Doc sent me for a ultrasound,
It wasn't good what they found.

You were so tiny,
your heartbeat so strong,
I don't understand why it's all gone wrong

Alot to take in,
It's called a ectopic,
I said "Can you stop it?"

I'm in shock now,
There is no hope for you,
I wonder if I'll die to

Had my operation,
You were gone,
Now your never going to be born!!

I'm so depressed,
I cried endless tears
Am I going to cry for years & years?

I struggled to cope
the tears eventually disappear,
I wonder does everyone think I'm weird

I'm lucky to have them,
They have all been so understanding,
Hope I haven't been to demanding!

It's time to move on,
Push the bad stuff outta the way,
Today would've been your Birthday

It's you day
It will always be an important date,
In my heart I will celebrate

You mean alot,
I'll never forget what you mean to me,
but sadly you weren't meant to be

Be happy wherever you are & whatever you do,
but always remember,
I LOVE YOU !!!!!!


----------



## cinnamitch (Apr 11, 2009)

I'm sorry for your loss and all that you had to go through . My prayers to your speedy physical and emotional healing.


----------



## moore2me (Apr 11, 2009)

Dear BigBellySSBBW,

I read your story and it broke my heart. Having been on the receiving end of doctors, nurses, and other health care providers apathy, lack of understanding, or outright disgust, it hurts to read that it is still going on half way around the world to a fragile, scared young woman who is losing her baby and may lose her life.

I am glad you are physically okay now and as OPs have indicated, you may also need to take time to grieve and heal mentally too. It may be harder since your significant other is distant, your mom is across the pond, and your primary health care provider doesn't seem to have compassion on your account. 

I have a suggestion if you want to take this "education" of our health care providers a step further. Make a copy of these three DIMS pages and mail them to your primary doctor. Since doctors are busy people, highlight the part about her in yellow, and put a post-it note on top saying see page 2!


----------



## Cleofatra_74 (Apr 11, 2009)

I'm not sure if we are allowed to add web sites here, totally cool if it needs to be removed. This site is from the UK (there wasn't any good info or sites Australian based at the time) & was so helpful to me when I lost my baby & with dealing with all the mixed emotions & roller coaster hormones. Even to the point of 'should've' been due dates & birthdays. I haven't been there for awhile, but they also had a partners/families section which is helpful. The warning is you will cry ALOT but an awesome place to realize that you aren't alone.



http://www.ectopic.org.uk/


----------



## Risible (Apr 11, 2009)

Cleofatra, thanks for posting that link. I'm glad it helped you resolve some of your grief.

To answer your question, we do allow links, but the website must not feature illegal activity, pornography, or extremely graphic or violent images, images that would offend. There are some other exceptions, but the link you've posted above is appropriate and welcomed.

/mod


----------



## Miss Vickie (Apr 11, 2009)

Cleofatra, I'm so sorry for your loss.  I can imagine that those anniversary dates will be difficult for awhile. I'm glad that you came here to tell your story. I hope you get good support to help you heal.


----------



## Cleofatra_74 (Apr 12, 2009)

> Cleofatra, thanks for posting that link. I'm glad it helped you resolve some of your grief.
> 
> To answer your question, we do allow links, but the website must not feature illegal activity, pornography, or extremely graphic or violent images, images that would offend. There are some other exceptions, but the link you've posted above is appropriate and welcomed.


*Thank you Risible *



> Cleofatra, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can imagine that those anniversary dates will be difficult for awhile. I'm glad that you came here to tell your story. I hope you get good support to help you heal.


*Thank you Miss Vickie  January this year would've been my babies 3rd birthday, it also was the first year I didn't cry *


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Apr 12, 2009)

I'm sorry for your loss hun. It doesn't really ever fully go away. I see pictures from that time and think "I was pregnant then" and it's a little painful to think of. When my baby would have been due I went into a severe depression.....and no one could understand why. It's like everyone thinks you should just get over it. It's insane. It's been 2 years for me....and I still freak out and constantly think I am pregnant. Ok not constantly, but everytime I show some signs I have to do a test because I am scared to death of this happening again. Everyone kept telling me I wasn't going to make it. It was a very scary time for me. 

I hope you have a support system you can rely on. Thanks for sharing.


----------



## squidge dumpling (Apr 12, 2009)

so sorry to hear about your loss and the pain you went though.


----------



## Cleofatra_74 (Apr 12, 2009)

The day I had the ultrasound to find out how far along I was (I was still having weird periods) was the day I first heard the words Ectopic Pregnancy. My babies heartbeat was very strong but apparently things weren't right. After being sent an hour away right there & then I found out the my baby was either in my left fallopian tube or attached to my left ovary and it could not survive & pretty much had to be aborted. I found out I was 8 weeks pregnant so I was at a very dangerous part for an Ectopic. If caught earlier it can be aborted in a less invasive way (which I doubt make it any easier to deal with) (I say 'it' as obviously I would never know what sex my baby was, but in my heart 'it' was a girl.)

I found out after the surgery that 1 hour surgery turned into 3 hour surgery. After they got inside me they found me full of blood, turns out in that short amount of time my tube burst, in hindsight I was very lucky to be in hospital when it happened. I was in hospital overnight, as soon as I got home the next day I Googled Ectopic pregnancy, because I seriously had no idea what the hell had happened to me. I found alot of facts about what I had just been through, but I had no idea what an emotional journey I was about to be on. My then boyfriend pretty much got dumped not long after I got out of hospital, he certainly wasn't who I thought he was, but you live & learn.

I had amazing family & friends who supported me as much as they could, The Ectopic Trust was the best site I could have ever found, as I didn't think I had a right to grieve. 
I still hurt, but I have certainly learnt alot about myself & it is true what doesn't kill you definitely does make you stronger.

This is a very short version of my story (although it probably doesn't seem short) it would go on for pages & pages if I wrote everything little thing down. I'm certainly no expert, but I can relate to being scared, devastated, angry, sad, the what if's etc. I'm always up for a chat or to be an ear if anyone that comes along this thread wants.


----------



## Cleofatra_74 (Apr 12, 2009)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> I'm sorry for your loss hun. It doesn't really ever fully go away. I see pictures from that time and think "I was pregnant then" and it's a little painful to think of. When my baby would have been due I went into a severe depression.....and no one could understand why. It's like everyone thinks you should just get over it. It's insane. It's been 2 years for me....and I still freak out and constantly think I am pregnant. Ok not constantly, but everytime I show some signs I have to do a test because I am scared to death of this happening again. Everyone kept telling me I wasn't going to make it. It was a very scary time for me.
> 
> I hope you have a support system you can rely on. Thanks for sharing.



*Hey hun,
It is a very scary thought that they say the odds go up a little everytime you have an Ectopic, but also important to remember that plenty of people go on to have healthy pregnancies & babies. I can only imagine how scary it must be to think you may be pregnant & all the fear that comes with it. Imagine how cool it would be to just be plain happy if we thought we were pregnant. I seriously just want to give you a massive hug.
Thank you for letting me add to your thread, I think your an amazing person for sharing your story, it truly is important to make people aware. If you ever want or need to chat to someone who has some clue what you are going through, just yell out.
Take Care *hugs**


----------



## Miss Vickie (Apr 12, 2009)

I'm so glad you're both okay. As awful as it is, you both could have died. Ectopic pregnancies are tragic because of the loss of a pregnancy, and also because if not treated early enough, they can cause pain, infection and death. You were both right to get treatment early, and Donni I'm still aghast at how badly you were treated!


----------



## chocolate desire (Apr 12, 2009)

I have 3 kids that are living proof one can have healthy children after an Ectopic pregnancy. I suffered one back in 1988 and then had a miscarriage 5 months later. I was determind to be a mom again as I always wanted four kids and I had three already so I kept trying and went on to have my daughter in 1990.

Donni I don't know how you dealt with being treated as you where and still be able to be the sweet outgoing lady that you are my hat is off to you.
Cleofatra my heart goes out to you as well as Donni. That was a lovely poem. When I read that your tube had burst It scared me because I was close to that and they had to rush me into surgery and I was told if it had burst MY survial would have been less than 50%.
I truly hope God blesses you both with a happy healthy baby soon.


----------

