# Extremely Random Poll



## Melian (Feb 14, 2014)

Say you viewed a person's profile on a dating site and were interested, but noticed that he or she was specifically looking for a partner who hated social media and did not own a cell phone.


----------



## Dr. Feelgood (Feb 14, 2014)

Sounds like the woman of my dreams (sigh).:wubu:


----------



## Tad (Feb 14, 2014)

(from a purely theoretical perspective, since I did all my dating well before the age of on-line dating, let alone social media). 

I voted doesn't fit me / wouldn't contact them (despte the fact that I have minimal use for social media and didn't have a phone until a couple of years ago), mostly because of concern of what that said about the person who posted the ad. In particular I'd worry that they were the controlling sort who likes their victim, errr 'partner' to be isolated from other social support networks. 

Of course, they could just be a curmudgeonly hermit type, which could be OK.....but there would have to be a heck of a lot of prospective upside to make me think the risk was worth it.


----------



## loopytheone (Feb 14, 2014)

I think we need a 'I fit that description and wouldn't contact that' option! I wouldn't want a relationship with anyone who demands things of their potential partner like that and who seems to want to spread hatred/negativity instead of happiness. Just my opinion.


----------



## Melian (Feb 14, 2014)

Hahahaha. Ah...Tad. 

I posted this poll because someone had recently told me that I'm "undateable" by current standards, because of my....special needs, i.e. I hate social media/cell phones and just want them to stay out of my life. So, if I were ever to make a dating profile, it would have those specifications, and I started wondering if anyone would ever reply to it (seriously).


----------



## Melian (Feb 14, 2014)

loopytheone said:


> I think we need a 'I fit that description and wouldn't contact that' option! I wouldn't want a relationship with anyone who demands things of their potential partner like that and who seems to want to spread hatred/negativity instead of happiness. Just my opinion.



Ok, I don't see how hating phones and social media spreads hatred. If anything, asking for someone with similar views is going to prevent hatred in the future, if a relationship actually develops.


----------



## Mckee (Feb 14, 2014)

Melian said:


> I posted this poll because someone had recently told me that I'm "undateable" by current standards, because of my....special needs, i.e. I hate social media/cell phones and just want them to stay out of my life. So, if I were ever to make a dating profile, it would have those specifications, and I started wondering if anyone would ever reply to it (seriously).



Melian, my two cents: wouldn't be the strangest thing read in a dating profile. Not even closesoI don't think you'll have trouble finding someone replying.


----------



## Melian (Feb 14, 2014)

Mckee said:


> Melian, my two cents: wouldn't be the strangest thing read in a dating profile. Not even closesoI don't think you'll have trouble finding someone replying.



What are some of the weirdest things you've seen?


----------



## Dromond (Feb 14, 2014)

The sheer irony of a person having an ad on a dating site and hating social media would make my head asplode.


----------



## Melian (Feb 14, 2014)

Dromond said:


> The sheer irony of a person having an ad on a dating site and hating social media would make my head asplode.



Good point, although, do dating sites really count as "social media," since they're more of a service vs a platform to brag about how great you think you are?

I guess I should have just phrased the question as, "what percentage of people would be compatible with someone who hates cell phones and social media?" It doesn't really make for a good poll, though.


----------



## Dromond (Feb 14, 2014)

To me, social media is a way to avoid boredom and nothing more. If a partner didn't want to deal with social media, I wouldn't care. Not wanting a cell phone is another matter. I am not the sort of person to demand to know your every move. I'm not jealous or possessive. Rather, I think carrying a cell phone is vital in case of emergency. Car broke down? Help is just a call away. Something came up that needs my immediate attention? You can get in touch right away.

People who spend their lives with their cell phone glued to their ear are annoying as hell. That's not me. But I still won't be without one, because it's a great lifeline in case of emergency or crisis situation.


----------



## Melian (Feb 14, 2014)

Dromond said:


> To me, social media is a way to avoid boredom and nothing more. If a partner didn't want to deal with social media, I wouldn't care. Not wanting a cell phone is another matter. I am not the sort of person to demand to know your every move. I'm not jealous or possessive. Rather, I think carrying a cell phone is vital in case of emergency. Car broke down? Help is just a call away. Something came up that needs my immediate attention? You can get in touch right away.
> 
> People who spend their lives with their cell phone glued to their ear are annoying as hell. That's not me. But I still won't be without one, because it's a great lifeline in case of emergency or crisis situation.



Yeah, that seems to be a very common opinion, and I can see how it makes sense.


----------



## Amaranthine (Feb 14, 2014)

I think because of the sheer popularity of them, it'd be difficult to find someone who doesn't own a cellphone. 

But as for the actual question, not fitting that profile personally, I have dated people who dislike those things and no problems were had. So if I were interested in their profile, I'd give it a shot and let it be on them whether they're alright with my owning a cellphone/using social media (without my trying to coerce them into it like an asshole.) 

It also might depend on how it's worded. Like, if they're SPECIFICALLY specifically looking for someone with a hatred of those things - like, if they jack off to videos of cellphones being broken, etc. Yeah, I'd probably hold off. But if it's just a personal preference that they want to be respected, that's different.


----------



## Melian (Feb 14, 2014)

Amaranthine said:


> like, if they jack off to videos of cellphones being broken



I love you


----------



## Esther (Feb 14, 2014)

Tad said:


> I voted doesn't fit me / wouldn't contact them (despte the fact that I have minimal use for social media and didn't have a phone until a couple of years ago), mostly because of concern of what that said about the person who posted the ad. In particular I'd worry that they were the controlling sort who likes their victim, errr 'partner' to be isolated from other social support networks.




^^This.
If someone hates social media and is warning you that they don't own a cellphone - cool.
If someone hates social media and doesn't want you using it, or a cell phone either... red flag for a jealous, controlling, mistrustful partner.


----------



## Melian (Feb 14, 2014)

Esther said:


> ^^This.
> If someone hates social media and is warning you that they don't own a cellphone - cool.
> If someone hates social media and doesn't want you using it, or a cell phone either... red flag for a jealous, controlling, mistrustful partner.



Hm. It's weird, but I never really considered that people would view it that way - that hating that particular device was a jealousy thing, and not just a hatred for an annoying device.

Maybe it's because people have become very attached to their phones and, since I've never had (or wanted) one, I just view it as a stupid, irritating object. Basically, my problem with them is the behaviours that people have picked up since they became so pervasive, and prefer the way things were before that happened.

ETA: I just wanted to clear up one thing: in my hypothetical situation, the person is looking for someone who actively hates these things themselves, and is not looking to convert someone who loves them - those are the people they are trying to filter out.


----------



## Dr. Feelgood (Feb 14, 2014)

Dromond said:


> I think carrying a cell phone is vital in case of emergency. Car broke down? Help is just a call away. Something came up that needs my immediate attention? You can get in touch right away.



This is what my wife said when she got her cell phone. She would only carry it in the car to use in emergencies. She would never, never distract herself by talking while driving. Yeah, right. It is now permanently attached to her ear, and she is learning to drive with her knees.


----------



## Dr. Feelgood (Feb 14, 2014)

Amaranthine said:


> I think because of the sheer popularity of them, it'd be difficult to find someone who doesn't own a cellphone.



You just found one. I don't have a TV, either. Or a Kindle: I read books made of actual paper.

Luddites of the world, unite!


----------



## Mckee (Feb 14, 2014)

Melian said:


> What are some of the weirdest things you've seen?



People who specifically stated in their ad: DO NOT contact me if you are not into...a specific political party, or a cultural/lifestyle movementsor even soccer teams (that happens only in Italy, though).


----------



## tankyguy (Feb 14, 2014)

I don't own a cell phone but I may some day. It's mostly a matter that I don't need one, so why add complication and expenses?

And social media simply doesn't interest me. Of course, being a homebody that means I have a hard time meeting people. Plus it makes it harder playing the commercial artist game.

So put me down as someone who would be compatible with someone like that.


----------



## Goreki (Feb 14, 2014)

Yeah, I don't see how that's going to work for you. You can't just go around expressing opinions and stating preferences that exclude any type of person whatsoever! Where is the wuv, Melian?


----------



## Saoirse (Feb 14, 2014)

I would think that someone who is so against advanced communications wouldnt even go on a dating site, nevermind actually set up a profile.

And you would be ignoring a whole group of potentially awesome mates, simply because you hate cellphones and facebook.

get over it.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya (Feb 14, 2014)

How else am I supposed to get nudies on the fly if I don't have a cell phone?


----------



## Melian (Feb 15, 2014)

I figured as much. Let's just move this to the unpopular opinions thread


----------



## loopytheone (Feb 15, 2014)

Melian said:


> Ok, I don't see how hating phones and social media spreads hatred. If anything, asking for someone with similar views is going to prevent hatred in the future, if a relationship actually develops.



Okay, maybe _spreading_ hatred wasn't the right way of putting it but if you go out there searching for people on the basis that they have to have a hatred/negative opinion of something rather than that you want to have positive things in common then it is hardly a great way of spreading happiness and creating friendships. I wouldn't message anybody who declared that I had to have a hatred for/negative opinion on anything. I would only be interested in the positive people who talked about what they do like and what they want to share with people. I would want a friendship or relationship to be based on common ground and happiness rather than a shared hatred and negativity. Just saying. 



Amaranthine said:


> I think because of the sheer popularity of them, it'd be difficult to find someone who doesn't own a cellphone.
> 
> It also might depend on how it's worded. Like, if they're SPECIFICALLY specifically looking for someone with a hatred of those things - like, if they jack off to videos of cellphones being broken, etc. Yeah, I'd probably hold off. But if it's just a personal preference that they want to be respected, that's different.



Firstly, hello there, I am one of those mysterious people that doesn't really own a phone! ...technically I have one, it is somewhere in this house but I haven't touched it or turned it on for over a year and have no intention of! 

And this exactly. I wouldn't mind somebody saying that they weren't fans of social media or mobile phones, I am not a fan of either myself after all, but I wouldn't respond to somebody saying they hated them and were looking for another person to share their hatred.


----------



## Goreki (Feb 15, 2014)

Hatred is a great unifier. So many wonderful things blossom out of a single shared raging hatred; religions, secret groups, philosophical discussions about the unfathomable depths of the secret minds of morons... Endless.

Give hate a chance!


----------



## Dromond (Feb 15, 2014)

The Nazis gave hate a chance.

(Yeah, I went straight to Godwin's Law. I'm hardcore like that.)


----------



## fat hiker (Feb 15, 2014)

So let's violate Godwin's Law (which is only a Social Media construct anyway, and this column for those prepared to discuss disliking /non-use of Social Media).

Is this discussion board part of social media? It fits some of the uses and definitions.

Are dating sites part of social media? Again, they fit many/all of the uses and definitions.

And, a pre-occupation with ANY technology (social media, on-line gaming, TV shows, movies, old cars, telephones, microwaves) may get in the way of a relationship with someone who doesn't share that pre-occupation.


----------



## Yakatori (Feb 16, 2014)

Melian said:


> "_What are some of the weirdest things you've seen?_"


Truly, the weirdest things are not what you will see reflected in actual ads, per se, but-rather as direct result of what's inaccurately not-reflected in the same. When you meet-up. But's that's, kind of, part of the fun. The adventure in it.



Dromond said:


> "_The sheer irony of a person having an ad on a dating site and hating social media would make my head asplode._"


No. Dating sites, generally, are able to attract membership based on the promise/potential for a pre-determined (and sometimes very specific) purpose, finding a RL-partner. I mean, imagine an Eharmony commercial where that old guy is saying "_Hey, join Eharmony right-now. And we'll include a lifetime membership!_" Would that work? No. People join Eharmony in the serious hope that, within a few years' time, their activity in the world of online dating will soon be but a quaint memory.

You probably can say the same, in varying degrees, for many of the others.

So, even as it falls, technically, under the umbrella of social-media, it's probably not what most people are talking about when they say "_Jeezus! I HATE social-media!_" More-so, just because someone claims to "hate" social media, doesn't really mean that said vitriol or even mild-disdain applies equally or uniformly across all examples.

In my case, I generally dislike social media. Most specifically, Facebook. Or really anything too much like that. Twitter....I'm kind of....I can understand how it makes sense for certain people. But I'm not one of them. The same or less for something like FourSquare. Yelp is another one: I mean, I will tend to avail myself of whatever information. But it's not like I'm just going to...

Dimensions, however, I feel like there's something I get out of it. Not to mention that other such forum type -environments, I think, are a generally good idea for people to be involved-with. As do I also think dating sites can be useful, & remarkably-so even for those who would so readily dismiss or be embarrassed by such an idea. And things like YouTube and Wikipedia, it bears repeating, are simply invaluable resources.

But, honestly, I don't that later group is really what's being talked about here.



Tad said:


> ...*I have minimal use for social media and didn't have a phone until a couple of years ago*)...I'd worry that they were the controlling sort who likes their victim...to be isolated from other social support networks [or]...a curmudgeonly hermit type, which could be OK.....


I'm not hermity nor would I want to be in a relationship with someone who's not at least somewhat independent. Of both me AND whoever & whatever else. Any kind of "scene."

Really, I think that's the problem a lot of us have with it. Is how it enforces certain...contexts onto us. Defines us. Puts us into some sort of box. And of course, tends to sustain connections we'd all be better of to have more cleanly-cut. 



Dromond said:


> "_To me, social media is a way to avoid boredom and nothing more._"


I think you can tell a lot about a person based on how they spend their free time. About their character. Their disposition. Their mind.

There's a myriad of ways to occupy one's mind. If two people are, generally, both attracted by the same things and, similarly, repelled by yet another common set of things; that probably says something for their compatibility.



loopytheone said:


> "_...but if you go out there searching for people on the basis that they have to have a hatred/negative opinion of something rather than that you want to have positive things in common then...I would only be interested in the positive people who talked about what they do like and what they want to share with people. I would want a friendship or relationship to be based on common ground and happiness rather than a shared hatred and negativity._"


Certainly, if I were giving someone advice on how to better edit their ad; yeah, I would admonish them to focus more on what they like, what they're into, the type of person they want to meet, etc...rather than talking about all of that in terms of its relative-opposite. But, mentioned as just one or two things a person hates, I take it more as just a poetic-license.

I, too, have a phone, aside from a home-phone. But, truthfully, I don't really like taking calls on either. My friends and family will tend to email me when they want to get together or need something. And I will call or text them by way of following-up or saying I'm en route.

But it's not a number I like to give out. Mainly because of how I tend to keep-it either silent or shut-off altogether, along with its charger, in my glove-box. During the very cold part of the winter, the still-charged battery is usually in one of my jacket-pockets. 

When I had a girlfriend (that lived about 25 minutes away), obviously, that was a little different. But, even-then, my attitude would generally be "_Why would we waste time talking on the phone, when we could otherwise be face to face?_"



Dr. Feelgood said:


> "_This is what my wife said when she got her cell phone. She would only carry it in the car to use in emergencies. She would never, never distract herself by talking while driving. Yeah, right. *It is now permanently attached to her ear, and she is learning to drive with her knees.*_"


Right, if anything, this is what the "cell-phone hater" is railing against: Not the device-itself, but more-so how ongoing & constant competition with-it (against everything & everyone-else) will tend towards an inattentiveness in certain personalities. Of never really being fully present, in the moment with you.

The driving/safety aspect is but one of the most manageable; because, after-all, I can do the driving for both of us while said passenger yaps away. But if I'm trying to have an actual conversation with either a friend or significant-other....and they keep looking down at their phone? More-so, if we don't already have too much history, what might that portend? Probably that it's long past time to cut-bait...


----------



## loopytheone (Feb 16, 2014)

It occurs to me, thinking about it now, that my main issue with describing yourself on a website as somebody who 'hates' something is that, to me at least, hate is a very strong word. I hate rapists and sexism and racism, I _dislike_ social media and constantly carrying a phone around everywhere with me. I understand though that this isn't a big deal for some people, the use of the word hate, which is cool and good for you guys but for me at least it is an issue. I admit using the word hate for things I just dislike in anger or frustration but I would never use that word for something trivial if I had time to actually think about it, like you do when creating a dating profile.


----------



## Melian (Feb 18, 2014)

I want to replace all my comments with Yakatori's. 



loopytheone said:


> It occurs to me, thinking about it now, that my main issue with describing yourself on a website as somebody who 'hates' something is that, to me at least, hate is a very strong word. I hate rapists and sexism and racism, I _dislike_ social media and constantly carrying a phone around everywhere with me. I understand though that this isn't a big deal for some people, the use of the word hate, which is cool and good for you guys but for me at least it is an issue. I admit using the word hate for things I just dislike in anger or frustration but I would never use that word for something trivial if I had time to actually think about it, like you do when creating a dating profile.



Yeah, I guess it really depends on how each individual uses the word "hate." Personally, I'll use it interchangeably with everything from "mildly dislike" to "absolutely abhor." In the case of cell phones, it's about an 8.5/10 on the hate-scale. I would feel like a liar if I didn't toss that word out, because I AM a very hateful person who gets along well with other hateful people


----------



## Cobra Verde (Feb 18, 2014)

Dromond said:


> The Nazis gave hate a chance.
> 
> (Yeah, I went straight to Godwin's Law. I'm hardcore like that.)


You know who else went straight to Godwin's Law??



Anyway I hate social media and barely use my cell phone but anyone who feels the need to specify that they don't want a partner to own a cell would be way too uptight for me.


----------



## Tad (Feb 18, 2014)

Melian said:


> Yeah, I guess it really depends on how each individual uses the word "hate." Personally, I'll use it interchangeably with everything from "mildly dislike" to "absolutely abhor." In the case of cell phones, it's about an 8.5/10 on the hate-scale. I would feel like a liar if I didn't toss that word out, because I AM a very hateful person who gets along well with other hateful people



See, this is where what you suggested posting would be perfect, because it would drive away both the social-media/cellphone addicts, and also the people who can't cope with hate. After all, the best dating ads aren't aimed at attracting a large number of random people, but rather to connect with the people who are most likely to be compatible. If that is who you are, and you are good with who you are.....then I'd say be as clear as possible about it.


----------



## Mordecai (Feb 25, 2014)

Honestly, it'd be a refreshing change of pace to see someone not having a cell phone and divorced from a specific set of social media (I consider dating sites to be in a sub cateogory of the catch all social media but I work in this hellish arena).

I'm so tethered to my devices due to work and communicating with my far flung network of contacts/friends... blah. Not a deal breaker in the slightest.


----------



## Sadlock (Feb 25, 2014)

I don't fit the description, but would contact the person if they were attractive enough i mean there's always compromise


----------



## Melian (Feb 25, 2014)

Sadlock said:


> I don't fit the description, but would contact the person if they were attractive enough i mean there's always compromise



Heh, yeah I had to add that option, because sometimes you just have to go for it, in the hope that you can slip it in them a few times before your phone rings.


----------



## djudex (Mar 2, 2014)

I would reply and lay it down for some sweet, sweet pseudo-Hutterite lovin's.


----------

