# i would love to meet a ssbbw but having no luck at all



## svenmad2164 (Jun 30, 2011)

Hello
I would love to meet a ssbbw but having no luck at all. I have been liking SSBBWS for a while i think about 5 years now and i have not meet anyone at all. I would love to meet a bbw or a ssbbw who wants get bigger for me when she finds out my weight gain fantasy i am afraid it is just gonna be a dream and if it has to remain a dream its ok with me
Sven


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## Jay West Coast (Jun 30, 2011)

Talk to the bigger women--I find that they are much more likely to be SSBBW's than the smaller ones.


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## joey86 (Jun 30, 2011)

Same  sucks really, owell oneday.


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## Fat Brian (Jun 30, 2011)

I do want to say something about this. If you don't see super size women where you are looking you might have to venture out of your comfort zone. Super sized women, especially ones who haven't heard of size acceptance and FAs, may not be in clubs or bars or other single hangouts. You may have to find other ways to interact with them. Due to their unpredictable nature you may have to be ready to approach one whenever you see one. Say you're in the library and you see a woman you'd like to talk to, you'll have to be ready to approach her in the least creepy and most genuine way you're capable of at a moments notice. Always be prepared.


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## penguin (Jun 30, 2011)

svenmad2164 said:


> Hello
> I would love to meet a ssbbw but having no luck at all. ... its ok with me
> Sven



What are you doing to meet them? There are fat women all over the place. Do you have ads on any of the bbw dating sites? Have you started working through the issues you've posted about in other threads? 

It's not enough to want to meet someone, you have to make an effort.


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## Blackjack (Jul 1, 2011)

penguin said:


> What are you doing to meet them?



Making threads all over the boards about how he'll never meet them, apparently.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Jul 1, 2011)

i hope to meet one someday.


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## Diana_Prince245 (Jul 1, 2011)

Working on your issues is a good place to start. From the amount of complaining you've done around here lately, you don't seem to be in the right mindset for a relationship. You need to be in good shape mentally to be a good partner.


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## svenmad2164 (Jul 2, 2011)

i gave up on dating too many fake people who lead you on no more i will not give out my number,dont ask me to come to the dances,dont ask me out on date ok just leave me alone ok dont play game with me


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## bobsjers (Jul 2, 2011)

svenmad2164 said:


> i gave up on dating too many fake people who lead you on no more i will not give out my number,dont ask me to come to the dances,dont ask me out on date ok just leave me alone ok dont play game with me



Sounds like you need professional help to work through your issues.


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## Diana_Prince245 (Jul 2, 2011)

svenmad2164 said:


> i gave up on dating too many fake people who lead you on no more i will not give out my number,dont ask me to come to the dances,dont ask me out on date ok just leave me alone ok dont play game with me



I am shocked you've been unable to find someone with that sunny, pleasant attitude.


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## LovelyLiz (Jul 3, 2011)

svenmad2164 said:


> i gave up on dating too many fake people who lead you on no more i will not give out my number,dont ask me to come to the dances,dont ask me out on date ok just leave me alone ok dont play game with me



Wait...you gave up on dating? So what do you want to do with the SSBBW once you find her, then?

Maybe I don't want to know.


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## Littleghost (Jul 3, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> Wait...you gave up on dating? So what do you want to do with the SSBBW once you find her, then?
> 
> Maybe I don't want to know.



A mayonaise jar. Frickin' big one too.


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## rubens_feeder (Jul 3, 2011)

What I would recommend:

Come to the Las Vegas BBW Bash in one week, it is awesome and you will find more ssBBWs there than you can cope with. It is a wonderful environment to meet women and the women that are there also want nice guys around that like them.

What I definitely can recommend when talking to one:
First, you might be overwhelmed by her wonderful body, knocked out by her huge hanging belly, the breasts that are.. OMGOMGOMG soooo huge.. you can blow a fuse if you really like that (like I do), but it is then important to realize one thing:

If you ignore what she's got, you will get her. If you get obsessed by it, you never will.

The thing is that a woman, small or super large is still a human being and it is not that since she is so big she is different than other women: She still wants to have a normal conversation, one that is focused on the mind and things you might have in common, not her body. 
So getting your hormones under control can help, feeling them, but not listening to them and wanting to say the words they put in your mouth (endlessly admiring her body). A compliment here and there that is honestly meant is of course wonderful and appreciated, but you have to realize that a woman that has really really large breasts gets the compliment "wow, you have wonderful awesome breasts" all the time and might be tired of it. It is like saying, wow is the sky blue today.. what is new? ;-)

For me it helped a lot (and a good success rate so far) to ignore that she looks so stunning. Imagine she would be thin as a rake and imagine how you would talk to her then. Focus on the head and don't stare at her breasts or belly. You will have lots and lots of time to check her out once she has acertained that you are not the average creep/serial murderer/only-interested-in-sex guy and given you permission to admire her in any and every shape or form.

Anyway, this is just from my experiences. Maybe it helps.

Markus


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## Blackjack (Jul 3, 2011)

rubens_feeder said:


> You will have lots and lots of time to check her out *once she has acertained that you are not the average creep/serial murderer/only-interested-in-sex guy* and given you permission to admire her in any and every shape or form.



...but everything you just recommended was along the lines of "ignore how badly you want to fuck her and act like she's human". Treating someone like a human so that you can fool them into letting you treat them like an object is even shittier than the upfront objectification.


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## KHayes666 (Jul 3, 2011)

svenmad2164 said:


> Hello
> I would love to meet a ssbbw but having no luck at all. I have been liking SSBBWS for a while i think about 5 years now and i have not meet anyone at all. I would love to meet a bbw or a ssbbw who wants get bigger for me when she finds out my weight gain fantasy i am afraid it is just gonna be a dream and if it has to remain a dream its ok with me
> Sven



You'll never find a woman if your attitude is a combo of "gain weight for me or else" and "nobody likes me everybody hates me i'm going home to eat worms"

Don't you get it? REAL women are too smart to fall for a guy who talks nonstop about weight gain. I don't know a thing about you but I do know that until you find a woman you can talk about OTHER things with and take her on real dates and promise to treat her right.....you'll never find true happiness. Then there's the self confidence issue, most women don't like guys that aren't confident in themselves.

Then again, if you're happy simply wanking to plus sized models and fantasizing over them then be my guest. Those of us who are friends with them in reality chose a much different path than the one you're on.


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## Wild Zero (Jul 3, 2011)

Is there really any point to giving advice to these emotionally stunted manchildren beyond "never date anyone, ever if you're not going to grow the fuck up/come out of the closet/quit acting like such a fucking creep" if they don't even bother to listen? I can't be the only one sick of coddling anonymous morons who shouldn't be in relationships and want some quick fix insta-ssbbw relationship tip and never listen to any of the good, heartfelt advice people give in threads.


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## penguin (Jul 3, 2011)

There are times when people shouldn't be dating, and being stuck in pity party mode is definitely one of them. I'd much rather be dating someone because they were interested in _me_, and not because they felt sorry for me. 

The OP has started several threads whining about how much it sucks that he can't find the right woman, that he's given up, that he's not having any luck, all while ignoring how negative his attitude is. That's not an attractive quality in a prospective partner. I think it's important to spend some time focusing on yourself, what you want, what you have to offer and to learn to enjoy being by yourself before you get into a relationship.


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## rubens_feeder (Jul 3, 2011)

Blackjack said:


> ...but everything you just recommended was along the lines of "ignore how badly you want to fuck her and act like she's human". Treating someone like a human so that you can fool them into letting you treat them like an object is even shittier than the upfront objectification.



You are not fooling them at all, because if you do it right, it is not an excuse or pretense for just fucking her, you actually get to know her and learn a little how women see the world. As men we can be too focused on "fucking" on being fast and objectifying. It has to do with the appeal of a beautiful body, how sexy and alluring it is. There is much use in stepping on the brake and for once not letting Mr Johnson call the shots and forget that sex will enter the equation. I have found that women (big ones are no different) are not averse to sex, but don't want to jump into it right away, first want to see who you are and create a mental connection and having a choice to then decide if they want to do it or not. I found that a woman will signal if she is open to it. 
This is of course a generalization, there are of course women that love to have uncomplicated direct fast sex.


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## knightmare870 (Jul 13, 2011)

Dude, don't feel bad. It's just a matter that takes time. I've been a FA/feeder for ten years and man, it was a pain in the ass to find someone who's not only fat, but wants to get bigger. I've dated several women, but never felt like they've shared my same feelings, save for the last one who wanted it, but only told me that so she could use me for three years. It's all a matter of talking to women, there's one woman I work with at Wal-Mart that I noticed and just started talking to her out of the blue, a few months later we're talking about everything and I told her about my desires and fantasies, to which she took with an open mind (thank God, lol) and shared with another of her friend, which is equally attractive in her own way. It's all about talking to them when you see one and go from there. It's how I landed the lady of my life and man, I'm living it up. Just give talking a chance and hope for the best.


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## NewfieGal (Jul 18, 2011)

There are plenty of ssbbw in this world no one can dispute that, but just because we are of one size doesn't mean we all have the same personality... you are having a rough time finding a SSBBW, its not cause there isn't enough of us around, it may be an issue with them or it may be an issue with you, not all FA's and BBW are gonna get along just because of size preference... keep looking with a POSITIVE attitude and you just might find what you are looking for...we are here like treasure just waiting to be found lol


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## KittyKitten (Jul 18, 2011)

Wild Zero said:


> Is there really any point to giving advice to these emotionally stunted manchildren beyond "never date anyone, ever if you're not going to grow the fuck up/come out of the closet/quit acting like such a fucking creep" if they don't even bother to listen? I can't be the only one sick of coddling anonymous morons who shouldn't be in relationships and want some quick fix insta-ssbbw relationship tip and never listen to any of the good, heartfelt advice people give in threads.



Was all that really necessary?


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 2, 2020)

rubens_feeder said:


> You are not fooling them at all, because if you do it right, it is not an excuse or pretense for just fucking her, you actually get to know her and learn a little how women see the world. As men we can be too focused on "fucking" on being fast and objectifying. It has to do with the appeal of a beautiful body, how sexy and alluring it is. There is much use in stepping on the brake and for once not letting Mr Johnson call the shots and forget that sex will enter the equation. I have found that women (big ones are no different) are not averse to sex, but don't want to jump into it right away, first want to see who you are and create a mental connection and having a choice to then decide if they want to do it or not. I found that a woman will signal if she is open to it.
> This is of course a generalization, there are of course women that love to have uncomplicated direct fast sex.



I just read a thing where Meat Loaf basically said that is how he was able to be so successful with women in spite of being a "fat MF". I disagree with him on the climate change issue though.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/meat-loaf-says-greta-thunberg-182643325.html


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 2, 2020)

I do think for the most part the whole love/sex thing is similar whatever the size of the people involved. And that is an intricately complex matter that probably comes down as much to luck as anything else.

The main difference that I know of is that it's unfortunately common for fat people (and fat women especially) to have low self-esteem and problems with their body image and confidence levels. It can be challenging to initiate a relationship with someone who has been told, directly and/or indirectly, that they are not sexy, not attractive, not worthy of love or even basic human respect, for possibly most or all of their conscious life. 

I wondered for awhile why there seems to be so few BBWs/BHMs on online dating, when over half the population 18+ is overweight or obese. I think it's because of their lack of self confidence, fat folk sometimes preemptively count themselves out of the dating world and get a kind of "why put myself out there to get hurt when I already know nobody will ever want me" attitude. I wrote a secret admirer note to a cute BHM in my college once and found out he thought at first it was probably a joke, which is so sad. But as a physically disabled fat woman myself I admit I have these same feelings at times, even though I'm FFA and love fatness myself, it's still hard not to be influenced by what "everyone else" thinks.

The other issue is the whole feeding/gaining thing is not a common interest. Not a thing wrong with it if everything involves only consenting adults, but you have to face the fact that finding someone who shares your interest likely won't be easy. The internet does help those of us with these kinds of niche passions find each other, but it can still be a long frustrating process.


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## SSBHM (Jan 3, 2020)

squeezablysoft said:


> I do think for the most part the whole love/sex thing is similar whatever the size of the people involved. And that is an intricately complex matter that probably comes down as much to luck as anything else.
> 
> The main difference that I know of is that it's unfortunately common for fat people (and fat women especially) to have low self-esteem and problems with their body image and confidence levels. It can be challenging to initiate a relationship with someone who has been told, directly and/or indirectly, that they are not sexy, not attractive, not worthy of love or even basic human respect, for possibly most or all of their conscious life.
> 
> ...



SS well said and I can completely relate.


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