# I need fat girlfriends ... =[



## Piink (Mar 18, 2013)

Just a little vent! 

All of my friends are small. And the ones that claim they are "fat" aren't even over a 12 pant size. And if they are, it's because they are pregnant! I do get tired of the "Ugh, I'm sooooooo fat" comments. 

I hate shopping with them as they rarely go to a store that carries plus sizes, and when I do get to, they always want you to be right around them so I rarely get to find something for myself. 

I need to find me some fat girlfriends to hang out with!


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## 1love_emily (Mar 19, 2013)

That's what us on the internet is for. I'm the same way. My friends all complain about being fat or feeling fat and I sit there thinking 
"Oh, if you think you're horrifically fat and you're a size 8 I can only imagine what you think of me".


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## spiritangel (Mar 19, 2013)

I love my scrapbooking friends but they can be exactly the same, I mean some of them are lucky to even scrape a size 12 or 14 and they bitch about their size and how huge they are

I dont think they really think about how it effects someone who is bigger because they say omg I am huge 

they don't realise a big person sometimes hears "omg your so so so very fat" because lets face it if size 12 or 14 is huge I am an elephant in comparison.

I think you have to remember that most people even a lot of bigger people drink the cool aid so to speak and think even having a slightly bigger anything or being bigger than a size mega skinny is evil thanks to societys anti fat and constant fat bashing.

Plus as was said above that is what we are here for  its great to have a place to be able to talk about these things without fear or judgement


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## 1love_emily (Mar 19, 2013)

I feel like posting in this thread because it is so relevant to my life right now.

The other day in one of my classes, we had an entire lesson about how appearances make a HUGE different in the music industry (even the classical/orchestral world). There were statistics about the weight of current opera singers and their employability. Considering a common colloquialism "The show's not over until the fat lady sings" is shows the importance of larger woman in main roles in opera, the presentation (and the presentator) was very fat phobic and encouraging of self hate. It drove me crazy.

I'm lucky I'm not a singer. I'm a fat trombone player who, if/when I audition for a symphony position, will be in a mostly blind audition. 

ANYWAYS after that lecture a lot of the girls in the school of music went on a 7 day "cleanse" (crash diet) and got sick. It drove me bonkers because they were being fed this fatphobic BS and they believed it.
UGH
/end rant


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## Oona (Mar 19, 2013)

I have zero fat girlfriends. I lean on this forum for that support. 

While it would be nice to have girlfriends to go to stores and shop with, I'm perfectly content getting the opinion of the ladies here and shopping online.


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## veggieforever (Mar 19, 2013)

*You don't specifically need fat girlfriends, sweetie. You need any female friend of any size who has tact and doesnt make senseless comments like that in your company and who accepts their body and doesnt make you feel like a lesser person in regards to your own. It seems your girl friends would complain even at a sample size and comments like that are for attention and nothing more. Shame on them!*


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## Piink (Mar 19, 2013)

While the forum is great, when I go out it's tough to bring it with me. I'd gladly love for a few of the Dims girls to go out with me somewhere, sometime. I'm pretty sure we could have a blast! 

I'm not a big online shopper, because I like to touch, smell, and try on the clothing. Not something I can do online, sadly. And if we went out to eat, at times the places were a bit non-fat friendly. I do have one friend who has always been accommodating, but she moved across the state.

I've lost touch with quite a few of my friends over the years, and I realize that the reason behind that was I got tired of the "Woe is me, I'm so fat" schtick. And if I did ever get any (good) attention from guys they would get super jealous. I got tired of the one-uppers and such. I guess, at the end of the day, I'm just wanting to be treated "normal" by my friends.


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## BigBrwnSugar1 (Mar 19, 2013)

Piink said:


> While the forum is great, when I go out it's tough to bring it with me. I'd gladly love for a few of the Dims girls to go out with me somewhere, sometime. I'm pretty sure we could have a blast!
> 
> I'm not a big online shopper, because I like to touch, smell, and try on the clothing. Not something I can do online, sadly. And if we went out to eat, at times the places were a bit non-fat friendly. I do have one friend who has always been accommodating, but she moved across the state.
> 
> I've lost touch with quite a few of my friends over the years, and I realize that the reason behind that was I got tired of the "Woe is me, I'm so fat" schtick. And if I did ever get any (good) attention from guys they would get super jealous. I got tired of the one-uppers and such. I guess, at the end of the day, I'm just wanting to be treated "normal" by my friends.



My Dear,

Those "friends" are not really your friends because friends who care about each other and respect each other wouldn't treat you the way that they did. 
So good riddance to bad rubbish. You'll find more deserving friends of your friendship - hang in there!!!!!


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## PeanutButterfly (Mar 19, 2013)

I feel this way too, quite a bit. I have several fat friends but they are not supportive of the size acceptance movement. I tried to talk to one about it a long time ago and she was offended that I thought she was fat enough to benefit from it (even though she is the same size as me and constantly complains about her weight). I really thought she would find it refreshing that a whole new world existed where she could be comfortable with herself. 

The other one is a new friend who I've never tried to discuss fat acceptance with because she had a meltdown when I suggested she try looking at the plus size sections when she needed a dress and couldn't find one that fit. The other day she showed me a picture of someone who lost like 100 lbs on facebook and said "See, we could do it!" I just ignored her but I wanted to be like, "Um, I never told you I wanted to lose weight..." She just assumes that every fat person must hate themselves as much as she does. With people like these two there really is not point of exposing the wonderful side to fat acceptance. It's like talking to the wall. 

I have many other thin friends but, while they love me, I don't think they'd ever understand my FA-ness. Some of them might be understanding of the whole "I want to be treated as a human being and I'm ok with myself the way I am" aspect of size acceptance but I think they'd still see it as a "Juli just can't stick to a diet" instead of a conscious choice. But add in the fact that fat turns me on and forget about it. I've completely lost them. Maybe if I had really progressive friends but until that day comes I don't see myself discussing size acceptance or fat admiration with the current ones.

Besides the fact that I really like to talk about deep societal issues with my friends (that wasn't sarcasm, I really do) I would like to have shopping buddies like other people here described. I would like to have people to go into the plus size stores with and understand my dilemma with boots not fitting over my calves and my outrage that I'm forced to shop for jeans online. I would love to be able to talk about fat sex with my friends and not have to keep that aspect of my relationship a secret. I mean I love my friends, its not the end of the world, but it would be nice. I guess thats what I have Dims for


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## Skye23 (Mar 21, 2013)

The last time one of my skinny girlfriends bitched to me that she was fat. I asked her if she meant she was "feeling fat" which of course has to do with body dismorphia (sp) and emotional issues like self-doubt and self-loathing or if she really meant she was fat. Long Pause... Then I told her 'cause if she thought she was really fat she should consider for a moment I could lose her entire body weight and still be considered fat, and perhaps she should reconsider her opinion. Boy did she shut up fast.....


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## ecogeek (Mar 21, 2013)

My fat girlfriend is MAYBE a size 8. Best friends for over 20 years...she would defend me against anyone and follow me anywhere. Quality over quantity.


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## Pandasaur (Mar 21, 2013)

My best girlfriends are not really considered fat but we all share one bond. We all have huge asses and and gripe when we shop together. My friends (main circle of 6) range in sizes from 10-14. It feels nice now knowing that we connect over conspiracies of stores being anti-ass.


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## 1love_emily (Mar 21, 2013)

ecogeek said:


> My fat girlfriend is MAYBE a size 8. Best friends for over 20 years...she would defend me against anyone and follow me anywhere. Quality over quantity.



This is true. My best friend is a size 6 and she loves me and I love her. We're more like sisters than friends. I don't forget about her, but I do forget that she would go with me to Torrid or Lane Bryant if I asked her to.


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## PlumBlossom (Mar 24, 2013)

I was just ranting about this exact thing to my boyfriend an hour ago. I don't have any friends, period. Everyone I meet ends up being a fatty-hater. Daily I have to hear my skinny sister complain and scream about how fat she is when she's actually very skinny. Argh. Anyway, if anyone wants a friend, you're all welcomed to PM me, I would love to have friends.


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## superodalisque (May 13, 2013)

fat girl friends are awesome. you don't have to explain stuff to them all of the time. i love my thin friends but it's nice not to have to explain yourself all of the time.


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## lozonloz (May 16, 2013)

My best girlfriend is pregnant.

She's only 5 months gone and has gone up 4 dress sizes.

She'll sit on the sofa struggling to get up and bitching about knocking stuff over with her arse and clothes not fitting and how there is NO GODDAMN NEED for stairs and that she wants cake.

It's like looking into a crazy pregnant mirror.

And I'm sitting on the floor pissing myself laughing.

The other day I was washing my feet in the sink and she saw me and just went "HOW THE HELL DO YOU DO THAT?! I can't even touch my toes! ARGH!". Again, pissed myself laughing.


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## KittyKitten (May 20, 2013)

It's interesting because most of my girlfriends are my size or close to my size. I only have one skinny (I mean, SKINNY, SIZE 0 SKINNY) friend and we went to high school together.


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## BigFA (May 20, 2013)

It is really too bad that women have to focused on weight all the time and worrying that they are too fat, etc. to the detriment of meaningful female friendships. It really drives me nuts how tacky women can be when they are always complaining about gaining 5 or 10 lbs. or commenting on someone who has gained weight, like she or he just caught a disease or something. Guys just don't do that once they become adults. I have fat and skinny friends, and my skinny friends could care less that I weigh 300 lbs. We enjoy eating out, playing golf, doing what guys do and no one ever mentions weight, one way or the other. So I am sympathetic to what you are saying and it is really a bummer at times.


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## BigCutieAurora (Jul 31, 2015)

I totally relate to this unfortunately  But I'm hoping I'll meet some local fatties soon! Shopping and lunch dates would be a blast


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## grasso (Aug 1, 2015)

so very true


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## Tracii (Aug 2, 2015)

I have a few plus sized friends but I never hear them complain about being fat.
We all accept that we are fatties and we have fun together.
The only girls I know that complain are a size 6-9 and it is annoying to say the least.


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## AmpleAurora (Jun 17, 2016)

I've tried to make fat girlfriends on Feabie but it's really hard to make friends online


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## ratherlarge (Jul 25, 2016)

I am sure you will find you girlfriend's to hangout with after all the world is round


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## SmilingMama (Aug 4, 2016)

veggieforever said:


> *You don't specifically need fat girlfriends, sweetie. You need any female friend of any size who has tact and doesnt make senseless comments like that in your company and who accepts their body and doesnt make you feel like a lesser person in regards to your own. It seems your girl friends would complain even at a sample size and comments like that are for attention and nothing more. Shame on them!*



Well said!


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## grasso (Aug 6, 2016)

agreed well said


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## PumpkinBelly (Aug 14, 2016)

When I was young, my sisters and their friends all regularly came out with the comment, "Oh, I'm so fat!" I always thought it was strange because they were all skinny.

It would've been nicer if they had understood back then that great amounts of beauty can be present in a lady's appearance no matter what size or shape her body has. It's who she is as a person that counts the most.

My two cents. I feel confident that you'll find a woman out there with a pleasantly full figure at some point. I just hope she's a nice person who gets along with you.


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## grasso (Aug 15, 2016)

thank you l hope so to


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## EMH1701 (Sep 11, 2016)

I hate shopping IRL. The clothes in the stores for plus size women are almost always either dowdy-looking, or of the variety that are either see-through or make you look even bigger, and the ones that aren't cost an arm and a leg. Plus heaven forbid that I need something dressy to wear for Toastmasters. That is why I shop online more often.

Yes, thrift stores do carry plus, but they almost always have older styles that are frumpy as well.


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## Sculptor (Oct 11, 2016)

I hear you; there are hardly any fat ladies in my neck of the woods, not that it matters but it's nice to have someone with whom to share some inside stuff here and there. Everyone is so preoccupied with outward appearances and obesity is a cardinal sin in a lot of places... still... albeit I think it's because I'm surrounded by older, superficial people with their outdated and still superficial perspectives here. Wasn't like this in Boston. Here, people assume and are so bent on proving themselves perfect to everyone. It gets annoying because I can't relate. I just want to tap on a few shoulders and ask why they care. I'm sure that comes off as cavalier, but I don't care. I do a lot of good in this community and I work hard, so me measuring up to anyone else = not my concern and not interested.


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## SecretlyaKitten (Oct 11, 2016)

I had a best friend who didn't even weigh a hundred pounds that was into the size acceptance / body positive movement before I was. We had a lot of problems, but if I ever wanted to talk to her about stuff like that I know she would be wonderful. So, I definitely agree that having fat friends isn't necessarily what's good, but having size acceptance friends definitely is! :wubu:


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