# An F.A. Exploration: Question and Answer....



## UMBROBOYUM (Jan 17, 2008)

Fat admiration



I find myself ruminating on the subject matter about my preferences and identity as I grow more in life. I am curious to know what impact or changes have F.As. made good and bad in life? I've asked myself am I true F.A.? I tell others I admire fat on the human body and I support those with it and without it. I also admire the human spirit and the voice of it's expression. I defend my preference and those included in it. I am no different than any other person around. I bleed the same red blood as the person next to me does. So then what makes me unique to be an F.A. and a non F.A at the same time? I suppose one could say it is my choice. By that I mean I can choose to love someone who is fat and also I can choose to love someone who is not. In my life I have left the door open on both ends of that matter. For me what I choose to admire the most is the human spirit in another being. I believe it is what passion and compassion compels me to seek. 


So then what is it inside of me that attracts me to those who have fat then? Is it my heart and soul telling me I'll find what I'm looking there? Or is it my natural instinct and sexual drive that assures me that I will have the most pleasure and satisfaction from such a being with curves? Perhaps it might be a mixture of both instinct and spirituality that guides me toward this action. The act of choosing to prefer a human spirit sculpted and encased in fat represents my hearts imagination of beauty and true happiness. I dare not suggest that the human spirit defines what it's cell(body) of flesh and bone looks and forms to one's eye. Rather I think and feel what I seek is the human spirit that is enhanced and expressed by what most call fat. I call it beauty because to me its one of the many good things that composes a person and the spirit they have within. My heart feels that my content and ardor lay with one whose beauty is in quality and quantity of both body and soul. 


The combination of leaving my mind open and following a hearts yearn for happiness yields to my spirits quest for truth; The truth of what I am and what I will come to be will lead me to find my essence or origin. So far my quest, my life, I have discovered that ever since I was born 23 years ago that I am a man who loves women. Further more in that amount of time I have also discovered from very early on that I love not only women, but Fat women. In discovering that part of the whole truth of who I am, I have come to be a man of appreciation or admiration of fat. 


It is my decision that I accept and embrace this discovered part of myself. It is my hope that I will uncover the questions and answers that I have about this unique fondness of fat women. I write these notions and feelings as a human being first. Secondly, I compose and present them identifying myself as what most call in this time period a Fat Admirer or F.A. I leave this part of my writings knowing that its mostly (not all but mostly) for me rather than the reader.(Consider whats above mostly internal dialogue with myself.) It helps me to learn more about myself when I write/type my thoughts down.



Id like to open this up for discussion of and for the people who identify themselves as F.A.s or F.F.A.s What are your thoughts and feelings about your identity as an F.A. ? What are your experiences? 



Also Id like to pose a few questions off and on similar levels for those under the admiration of F.A.s / F.F.A.s 


Have you ever wanted to know what makes an F.A. tick? When and how he/she came to have feelings of fat admiration? How long have F.As been around for or how far back in recorded history can we see F.A.s?? What do you believe are the factors or experiences in determining what makes a person admire fat?? Is it a combination of both?? Is human nature or nurturing responsible for one's sensitive attraction and/or fascination of fat? Is there a shared compositional link or definable patterns and/or causes that we can ascribe to F.A.s of the past and present company? What experiences might one expect with an F.A. s? What experiences do you suppose an F.A. has with others? 


I invite you all to share your views and feelings on exploring the subject of F.A.s / F.F.A. s 



-Jon


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## PamelaLois (Jan 17, 2008)

As a BBW I have always wondered what it is about being fat that an F.A. finds attractive. Having always been knocked down and insulted for being fat, I still have a difficult time believing a man can find me attractive and pretty. 

But, at the same time, I tend to find myself attracted to men who tend to be on the larger size. I don't know that I would call myself an F.F.A. exactly, I am not attracted to very fat men, but more football player types. And yet, like you, also find attractive all kinds of men. My attraction to a man is based more on inside things like humor, honor, intelligence, and that he takes care of himself, that kind of thing. I do not define my attraction by what a man looks like, but what a man IS like. 

I suppose that the older I get, the surface details tend to matter less to me. I am looking for someone that I enjoy spending time with. The superficial details become less important, you find yourself not worrying so much if a guy is balding a bit, has grey hair, some crows feet, a belly. Those things are not what someone is, just what they have. If two I were asked to choose between two men of equal personality and values, but one was a big guy and the other small, I would choose the large man. The underlying attraction eventually comes out, all things being equal.


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## southernfa (Jan 17, 2008)

My first inclination is to be a bit dismissive and say that being an FA is just a physical inclination and no more than that. It doesn't in any way define me, it's just the body. I could also almost say that I have never ever based any relationship on physical preference. Except that once I did. Physically, it was fantastic. But that was all and so it didn't last. D'oh!

I take people as they come, I don't size-discriminate, it is a non-issue. A few people I know closely are definitely fat-phobic which I find distasteful simply because it is masked bigotry, not because I happen to demur.

So I am back to square one, it isn't that big a deal. So why am I back here after 12 years? Maybe I am a bit like the OP, a lover of women, but in my case, at a safe distance


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## UMBROBOYUM (Jan 18, 2008)

Wonderful thoughts so far! I figure since their has been inquiries about the F.A. / F.F.A. 


I thank you both for sharing your thoughts and feelings on the matter. It is always great to see the many perspectives in exploring F.A.s and F.F.A.s


-Jon


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## Just_Jen (Jan 18, 2008)

i wonder what makes an FA tick, i mean i still dont understand it..like PamelaLois after the years of being knocked back and told fat is negative it's quite difficult to change the thinking the other way round, so i still havent managed to see FA's as normal, i dont mean that in a weird way and i suppose there's the argument of what do you define as normal, because we all have our different kinks..

*sigh* i dunno, i seem to be digging a big hole methinks, at least its me sized haha


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## stefanie (Jan 18, 2008)

I can only speak for myself, rather than a "class" of people called "FFAs." 

First off, I don't find all fat men attractive. There have to be other things there - intelligence, humor, grooming, style, maturity. Were I dating (I'm not, being married), there would have to be more than appearance and a man simply being fat. 

I've pretty much always been attracted to fat men. My first long-term boyfriend was plump. Later, there were some attempts that didn't work out (personality, shyness, one guy was gay.) But I have dated leaner men, too. It's pretty nebulous to say "personality is critical," but for me it is.

My husband was a little round around the edges when I married him, but not fat. He has put on weight since our marriage, and I support him in his efforts to be a healthy fat person (even if that means he is losing a little weight.)

I guess what appeals to me is the combination of softness and sensuality in a bigger man, combined with his masculine traits as well. Also, I can see how some men would like a softer, rounder woman, from the standpoint of sensuality and what feels good.


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## altered states (Jan 18, 2008)

This is something I've thought about, a lot. I have 13 years on you and I still don't have any answers. 

It seemed to me that I was an FA from birth. The first woman I remember being attracted to (one of my first memories, period) was fat, and the things I remember about her are just the things that attract me to fat women today. Of course this was an "innocent" pre-sexual attraction, as I was 5 years old at most. Yet it was all there: I loved the size of her, the softness, the way she was all curves. It just made sense to me and still does. I lust after fat women the way a non-FA straight man just knows he desires thinner women. We don't think about it much, on that level. That said, I don't lust after all fat women, and a few thinner women have certainly turned me on. 

I think I was 10 or 11 when I really began to realize I was an FA, even if I didn't know the word. Angry at the world, and as a chubby kid myself with "issues," I made the classic, awful move of antagonizing and torturing the girls I lusted after. Now of course I recognize I was pushing them away, so I wouldn't have to deal with yet another aspect of myself that made me feel weird and out of step. By high school I'd calmed down and become more sure of myself and pursued and dated a couple of fat girls. Both "relationships" ended in a frustrating way. We were doomed - I never understood them, nor they me. The worst part was one of the girls who seemed turned off by the fact that I liked her at all - a Catch-22 I felt I was never going to overcome. 

In college I quickly met the woman I'm still with, someone you could call fat only using the strictest media standards. I didn't think much about it at the time. I was madly in love and things seemed to move along so easily, with such passion and so much happiness, that it seemed insane to question whether being with this person was consistent with "who I am." Since then I've questioned it a lot. I lust after fat women constantly, and I think about cheating all the time. I chalk this up to maleness rather than FAness, but who knows? Perhaps there was a certain amount of denial with my "decision." Yet I put the word in quotes because anyone who's truly been in love knows it's really not a decision at all.

In general I take being an FA as part of who I am. Is it nature or nurture, a fetish or a primal urge? There have been many cultures throughout history where fatness or thinness in women has been cherished and lusted after, so I tend to believe more on the nurture side, but really I have no idea. I've found no real psychological studies on FAism (which astounds me), and leads me to believe modern psychology (such as it is) sees being an FA as on par with being attracted to redheads or Asian women. I don't buy this, though I can only speak for myself. Here on Dimensions Boards, some FAs have written with certainty that that's exactly what it is for them - a preference. Others claim it's similar to being gay, which I don't feel is true, either. 

All this is complicated by the fact that I also have weight-gain fantasies. I won't go into details as this is the wrong forum, but some of them I'm not proud of and I keep them a secret. Unfortunately this has meant that I can't really be as "out" as I want to be. Women I've known who've been aware of my FA tendencies have usually been very supportive of the fact that I like fat women, thrilled even, even if they themselves are not fat. Maybe they interpret it as me being more enlightened, or at least not beholden to oppressive social standards. I know this isn't true, but of course I love the adulation and respect they give me - who wouldn't? Yet would these women feel the same if they knew what my real "ideal" was, and what it involved? I doubt it, and thus everything gets mixed up. Where does the FA part (good) end and the feeder part (bad - in my opinion, and for the sake of discussion) start? I accept one and reject the other, and yet is such a thing possible? In a way I envy FAs who don't have feeder or otherwise un-PC, FA-related tendencies, as they must be far less conflicted in trying to figure out who and what they are. Or at least I imagine.


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## Tad (Jan 18, 2008)

tres huevos said:


> This is something I've thought about, a lot. I have 13 years on you and I still don't have any answers.
> 
> ....... In a way I envy FAs who don't have feeder or otherwise un-PC, FA-related tendencies, as they must be far less conflicted in trying to figure out who and what they are. Or at least I imagine.



Aweseom, awesome, post, from beginning to end. But I can't rep you at the moment--you've been awesome too much lately apparently *L* Would someone get him for me?

Also, wow, my story differs in details from his, but not in substance, so I won't repeat it. In summary, I have more questions than answers about all of this, but I know that being an FA has been a natural thing for me from a young age, and I suspect that it will always be with me.


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## Tad (Jan 18, 2008)

Just_Jen said:


> i wonder what makes an FA tick, i mean i still dont understand it..like PamelaLois after the years of being knocked back and told fat is negative it's quite difficult to change the thinking the other way round, so i still havent managed to see FA's as normal, i dont mean that in a weird way and *i suppose there's the argument of what do you define as normal, because we all have our different kinks..*



I'm just speaking for myself here, because FA come in all sorts of variety.

Responding to the text I bolded in your quote: I don't think for me it is a kink, being an FA. (I may also have some fat related kinks, but the fundamental FA part? Nah).

Responding to the part I highlighted in red: for me, from a young age, no matter what anyone else said, I've _instinctively seen fat as a good thing._ When I met a fat person I was always more inclined to expect them to be friendly, kind, funny, intelligent, and attractive. Pretty basic human nature, when you know one 'good' thing about someone, you tend to associate other good things with them (go look up "halo effect" and you should find some of the experiments showing this). 

So yah, for me the very basis of being an FA is that fat = goodness. All the rest of it falls out from that, I think. So it isn't that I can't find non-fat people as sexy, but when someone is fat I'm pre-biased to think that they are sexy (and all those other good things). And so on. I can analyze it all logically until long after the cows come home, but that basic fat = goodness feeling is at the root of it, and I don't know where it comes from.


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## altered states (Jan 18, 2008)

edx said:


> Awesome, awesome, post, from beginning to end. But I can't rep you at the moment--you've been awesome too much lately apparently *L* Would someone get him for me?
> 
> Also, wow, my story differs in details from his, but not in substance, so I won't repeat it. In summary, I have more questions than answers about all of this, but I know that being an FA has been a natural thing for me from a young age, and I suspect that it will always be with me.



Thanks! 

This and similar previous threads really make me wonder why there's not more out there (meaning, beyond Dimensions) really exploring what FAs are. I think the closest I've seen is in V-Search's book "Deviant Desires," which has a chapter on FAs (though it spends much more time dealing with weight gain fantasies than any other aspect). And honestly, as interesting, in depth, and titillating as it was, I didn't find too much insight.


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## D_A_Bunny (Jan 18, 2008)

I have been with my husband for over 17 years now. When we first met I could not believe that this guy actually wanted a fat chick. Of course everyone I knew thought he must have "mommy" issues or something. Then we saw Mr. and Mrs. Dimensions themselves on a tv show and we both felt validated.
Once we got the zine and saw all the pictures and articles he really opened up about his "unique" desire. He always was attracted to fat women. He helped me accept my body. He also helped me realize the beauty in other fat people. Sometimes I hate being fat for the normal reasons, but I love being fat too because it attracted my great guy.
Sometimes I think that God made men specifically attracted to large women because they are the ones who would survive if there was a catastrophe. Most people think "survival of the fittest" means outrunning a tiger. I think "survival of the fittest" means who could survive a food shortage. Women naturally store their fat in their bellies so that they will survive. It is definitely Nature.
So maybe an FA is naturally attracted to a woman who is meant to survive and be strong and make her presence in the world known, such as filling up more space with her size. Also, to defend the "feeder" aspect, (and I do mean "feeder" as in, sure honey, I don't mind if you have dessert, not, "eat this now!"), wouldn't it be somewhat natural to want to help her maintain her size and beauty?
I am so thankful that there are FAs and FFAs in the world. Just like they are thankful there are BBWs and BHMs in the world.
I mean isn't it more unnatural to desire a woman with a tiny waist, supersized boobs, and a hair color not present in nature? And most of these girls are cutting up their bodies to attain that look. Isn't that more unhealthy? Sorry to get off track.
All I know is that I have come to accept that there are FAs in the world and I am glad for it. Thanks to the OP for the insightful questions.


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## Leadfoot307 (Jan 19, 2008)

My experience as an FA started out very young also. I had a very fat, big bottomed, and bellied teacher, when I was young. I was enthralled with her. As I got older, I probably made more big bottomed girls feel uncomfortable because I would kind of stalk them. But, being painfully shy, I wouldn't talk to them.
I too equate goodness with fatness. I went to 15 different schools. Being the new guy all the time, fat girls were usually kinder.
At 19 I joined the Army, still shy. I had little sucess dating. One guy's wife was "huge", maybe 350 LBS. I used to talk to her and we were friendly to each other. Unfortunately at that time, the other guys were making stupid "posts" about her in the motor pool, and saying awful things about her. When my Army buddy saw what they did and heard what they said, he felt hurt. But, not being a tough guy, he didn't react openly.
From then on, I decided that if I was to be able to date fat girls, I needed to be able to stand up to other guys. I felt that as an FA I needed to not only have the balls to ask out a fat chick, but also to stand down other guys if that ever became necessary.
Eventually, I met my wife of 17 years at a party, by chance. From there we learned alot and I no longer felt the need to fight everyone. She has helped me and I have helped her. Of course at this point I would still kick some hater ass if I needed to. Just not walking around with my former short fuse.

Larry


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## RedVelvet (Jan 19, 2008)

tres huevos said:


> This is something I've thought about, a lot. I have 13 years on you and I still don't have any answers.
> 
> *(huge snippage for sake of space only.....)*
> 
> ...





edx said:


> I'm just speaking for myself here, because FA come in all sorts of variety.
> 
> Responding to the text I bolded in your quote: I don't think for me it is a kink, being an FA. (I may also have some fat related kinks, but the fundamental FA part? Nah).
> 
> ...



I repped you both, and leadfoot too....I guess I just wanted to say here that I thought all of these posts beautiful and thoughtful and well written and moving.


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## Dr. P Marshall (Jan 19, 2008)

edx said:


> Responding to the part I highlighted in red: for me, from a young age, no matter what anyone else said, I've _instinctively seen fat as a good thing._ When I met a fat person I was always more inclined to expect them to be friendly, kind, funny, intelligent, and attractive.



You know ed, you're making me think again, as usual. After reading through all of these posts something strange hit me. I am an FFA and as such, identify with Stephanie's post the most, but reading over edx's and tres huevos' descriptions of instinctively feeling attracted to and positive about fat, it hit me that that is a large part of my make up as well. When I was far too young to understand anything of sex or attraction, I used to like to look at the fattest little boy in my class. I just thought he was beautiful. But what ed and tres' description made me realize, was I also liked watching my fat female teachers as well. With the females, there is no sexual component, but the attraction to fat was obviously always there. 

I am thin myself and I like being so and there are lots of people of all sizes I think are attractive and admire, but there is some deeper sensual attraction when it comes to fat people. I am heterosexual so for me BHM are both sensual and sexual, but I must confess that in a purely sensual capacity, I have a fondness for fat women too. I guess the best way to put it is that if I see a beautiful woman, I enjoy looking at her just like I do a handsome man, but if that woman is fat, it is almost like an extra jolt. And if a handsome fat man enters a room, well, I'm pretty much going to focus on just him.

Having said that, I have dated men of all sizes and I do obviously need more than just a good looking BHM, he has to bring more to the table, but I have come to finally understand about myself that I do actually need a man to be at least somewhat fat (I have a range of fat men I like) for me to be truly, completely, attracted to him in every way. It's the coming to terms with that fact that I still find a little difficult. Not because I think it makes me odd, but it makes me feel shallow. How am I really different from the woman who only likes fit men or thin men? Yes, my range of attraction may be broader, but I still find it difficult to accept that my ideal man in every other capacity could not truly satisfy me if he came in a thin package.


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## Edens_heel (Jan 19, 2008)

Very well written and heartfelt topic, and a definite point of curiosity for some, contention for others.

My views on being an FA are not necessarily unique, but I will try to explain them. From the nature/nurture side of the equation, my feelings and drive toward being an FA started naturally and at a very young age. I have lived my life in the arts and I can remember looking at nudes of women in art textbooks, and being particularly drawn to those with plumper figures, thicker arms and legs, stomach rolls, etc. From as far back as I can remember I have felt that way and have never felt a pull towards a smaller or thinner build. It's not at all that I do not find thinner people attractive, because there are a great many that are, but for me I feel no sexual or physical pull in that direction.

This is not to say that I wish all women were fat or overweight. Truthfully, there are some people in this world for whom extra weight does not look natural on them, and for them it is more of a burden than anything else, but there are so many for whom it is not only a natural physicality to embrace, but a growing form of acceptance, love and compassion. 

And that is one thing I love about being an FA - before finding Dimensions I never gave much thought to it. I equated it as being the same as another man saying "I like blondes" or "I prefer taller women." Seeing someone as both beautiful and plus sized was the most natural thing in the world to me, and I now count myself truly lucky to not only be confident and thrilled beyond belief with my love and lust, and to know there are so many others who feel the same, but to also have an amazing BBW who loves me and loves herself and nurtures this natural side of me to its fullest extent.

What began for me as nature, through and through, has evolved as naturally as it should, and now my nature is being fed and is feeding the love and self confidence of another, and I couldn't be happier.


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## Edens_heel (Jan 19, 2008)

It's also interesting to note that while I prefer extra weight on my partner, I actually am very athletically inclined, so much so that I hate any extra weight on myself. If I start to lose sight of my stomach muscles, I feel terrible, like I'm losing control of myself. But with that said, being with my fiancee is the one thing that can quell that fire.

One effect that I always found somewhat interesting was something that happened to me several years ago. In my last year of highschool, I broke down to a lot of pressure from my peers and started watching what I ate - in grade 11 I was 4'11" and 180 pounds. Well I became incredibly self conscious and started becoming an exercise anorexic - I was eating so little and working out 4-5 hours a day - every day. I grew at that point finally as well, but I wasn't keeping the weight on to help with that and I wound up not realizing just how far I had gotten until I was 5'7" and only 108 pounds. And I hit a wall - like a moment of clarity that saved me from myself. Since then I have gotten very very healthy, but what intruiged me most about that ordeal was that in the aftermath, I actually find myself completely repulsed and often turned off by severely skinny frames. For a time I dated a marathon runner, but everytime I hugged her and felt bone it made me feel almost ill. It's like I was an FA before going through all of that, but what I did to myself only seemed to cement my desire and love for being with a plus sized woman even more.

And now I can honestly say that I have the single most beautiful girl on the planet.


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## MadeFA (Jan 19, 2008)

With regards to what Tres stated... I am not ashamed of being attracted to curvier women, but I can understand about being upset with the feeder-tendency/erotic-weightgain fixation. As I started in a different thread, I am not sure if I am as turned on by weight gain as I am simply as much turned off by someone disliking their body/losing weight (for purely superficial reasons). The fact that I prefer bigger women has been the catalyst to starting a few great relationships, and what saddens me is the second part of my preferences, or what I am turned-on/turned-off by has caused a strain or end to these wonderful relationships.

There are days when I want nothing more than to scream from the rooftops that I like big and beautiful women, and I think it is glorious if they never want to skip on a dessert if I were to take them out on a date.

There are days when I just wish I weren't like that at all.

No one said life is supposed to be easy, nor fair, so I go on... and hope as I mature I can better understand myself, and perhaps, meet a beautiful person that can also understand me.


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## RedVelvet (Jan 19, 2008)

Edens_heel said:


> It's also interesting to note that while I prefer extra weight on my partner, I actually am very athletically inclined, so much so that I hate any extra weight on myself. If I start to lose sight of my stomach muscles, I* feel terrible, like I'm losing control of myself.*




So I am guessing you can understand then why so many women here find feeders really scary.......and are probably very understanding should a woman choose to make herself smaller.


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## UMBROBOYUM (Jan 19, 2008)

Thank you all for sharing your experiences. I feel the more I read here, the more I learn about myself as too... !


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## Jon Blaze (Jan 19, 2008)

FAs are so diverse. We all have our stories of where we begin, what we like, and what we have become. It's interesting to hear all the scenarios.

I was 12 when I had my first experiences. I wasn't really intrigued by fat directly before then, but just large pieces/parts: Mainly breasts and butts. What made me go down the road oddly enough was one of my friends whom was thin, but had a pot belly. 

I didn't respond well to it initially because I thought I was a freak, and I got made a part of a cruel insult to her (Some asshat told her I wanted to know why her stomach was shaped the way it was, even though he was too chicken to say he wanted to know ). I didn't give up, and I eventually learned about dimensions and the like.

At about 14, I started having my own body issues. I got over them, but through the years, I was still having a lot of trouble with what I liked in my partners. 

There was a small period while I was in the closet that I wasn't attracted to thin women, but that subsided the more I got confident liking larger women.

I'm not at the end, and I probably never will be. I wasn't born an FA. I consider what I have a "Condition." It's always changing, but the consistent pattern is that I prefer larger women to some varying degree, but I'm attracted to women of all sizes. 

As for the term: It's good, but it's also bad. It's good because it gives us a sense of having unity, but we're all different, it makes it seem as if we're being objective about it (Whether that means size, or objective attraction to fat, rendering all other traits weak), and more. But, as Conrad has said: No one has made a better term.


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## AnnMarie (Jan 19, 2008)

DumbAssBunny said:


> *snipped*....there are FAs in the world and I am glad for it....



Quoted for truth and excellence. 

That's really all I have to say on the matter.


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## Edens_heel (Jan 19, 2008)

RedVelvet said:


> So I am guessing you can understand then why so many women here find feeders really scary.......and are probably very understanding should a woman choose to make herself smaller.



Very much so, Red. While I will never condemn anyone who wants to be a feeder or feedee, I can't fathom it myself, and yes, if my Candy Coated Clown wanted to make herself smaller, I would support and help her in any way that I can. I love her and find her tremendously beautiful as she is, and I know I will find her tremendously beautiful at any weight she wants to be


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## UMBROBOYUM (Jan 20, 2008)

Excellent points and views here... 


I have recently been reading that some don't like to use the term F.A. 
I can understand that and I see why it could be a problem. I wonder then for those of us who have the similar preference in larger women should/could call ourselves? I wonder if we should make a new term descriptor for people who admire the body in smaller and/or bigger sizes. 

Though I agree with what Jon said in his quote of Conrad, There has been no better term I've seen. 

Any alternatives? 

Also DBunny thank you  <3 and the rest everyone else as well! Your thoughts and insights are most welcome!


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## Paul Delacroix (Jan 20, 2008)

UMBROBOYUM said:


> Excellent points and views here...
> 
> 
> I have recently been reading that some don't like to use the term F.A.
> ...



I've always felt this way. "Fat Admirer" implies lots of things that are more baggage than asset.

If you psychologically screened the male population in western countries, I think the findings would be the same across the board--that men put romantic love over body shape _in a relationship_, but sexually fantasize about women of a certain preference based on their curves and/or fatty deposits. Men who are attracted to thin women do the same thing-they are just much more compartmentalized and rigid in their approach to the curves and fatty deposits.

I see fat women as naturally feminine...so "fat admirer" seems like an unnecessarily clumsy term, that probably contributes to the negative image we have.


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## Adrian (Jan 22, 2008)

For me being a lover off BBWs is something I have always been. I found sisters of my friends to be pretty and they were BBWs. Later when I started kinder garden I found there were guys who found fat unattractive. These guys came from a different section of town and their preferences were different from myself and my friends. Me and my friends all had mothers, grandmother, older sisters, aunt, etc. who were BBWs, so we saw it as perfectly normal to have women of size being a large part of our lives.
I see loving BBWs as just my preference as to what constitutes an attractive in a woman. It is no more abnormal than any other preferences men have for the opposite sex. It is no better or worst than, say a man who has a preference for blonds or redheads, it is just different.

As to Paul Delacroix's comment that FA has a negative connotation, it may or may not. I really don't care whether someone finds my choice in a woman attractive or not. I had this view when I got married forty-two years ago and nothing has changed about my outlook. I had several relatives who did not like my choice as a wife simply based upon her size. Those who accept my wife are part of my life and those relatives who could not, AREN'T! It is simple and binary to me.

Adrian


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## EtobicokeFA (Jan 23, 2008)

Adrian said:


> For me being a lover off BBWs is something I have always been. I found sisters of my friends to be pretty and they were BBWs. Later when I started kinder garden I found there were guys who found fat unattractive. These guys came from a different section of town and their preferences were different from myself and my friends. Me and my friends all had mothers, grandmother, older sisters, aunt, etc. who were BBWs, so we saw it as perfectly normal to have women of size being a large part of our lives.
> I see loving BBWs as just my preference as to what constitutes an attractive in a woman. It is no more abnormal than any other preferences men have for the opposite sex. It is no better or worst than, say a man who has a preference for blonds or redheads, it is just different.
> 
> As to Paul Delacroix's comment that FA has a negative connotation, it may or may not. I really don't care whether someone finds my choice in a woman attractive or not. I had this view when I got married forty-two years ago and nothing has changed about my outlook. I had several relatives who did not like my choice as a wife simply based upon her size. Those who accept my wife are part of my life and those relatives who could not, AREN'T! It is simple and binary to me.
> ...



I also always had a preference to BBW, every since I could remember. And, I don't find it abnormal. 

However, lately I have been concerned by one of the negative connotation linked to FAs. It goes along this train of thoughy. FAs prefer large partners, that can be considered objectifying women, and objectifying women can be considered sexism, therefore FAs could be considered sexists ! 

I have heard people at least hint at this link! 

Yes, I know that there are FAs out there that really deserve the label of sexist, and I saw some in action. But, there are FAs that put romantic love over body shape. And, I think it's time that it's that later that we should be encouraging.


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## RedVelvet (Jan 23, 2008)

Well darlin, if thats true, then we are all sexists....because we all like an attractive romantic partner.

I like em pretty myself.


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## EtobicokeFA (Jan 23, 2008)

RedVelvet said:


> Well darlin, if thats true, then we are all sexists....because we all like an attractive romantic partner.
> 
> I like em pretty myself.




Just don't tell the Political Correct police, or we all are going to being in trouble!


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## RedVelvet (Jan 23, 2008)

EtobicokeFA said:


> Just don't tell the Political Correct police, or we all are going to being in trouble!




oh thats just BS too....

I am not attacking you, I promise, but this kinda crap just makes me nuts.

Sorry love, but "politically correct" is just a way of trying to get people to use language that isn't insulting.

Some might take it too far, but the VENOM which has been expressed towards it is just over the freaking top. YES. ....some people are silly, but the basic concept is a good one, if everyone would just relax.

We used to call certain people coloured, you know? Not calling them that is also politically correct. So. Not all bad.

There IS no Political Correctness Police, and I would SO love it if everyone would quit pretending they are being oppressed...everyone needs to get OVER it.



"help help! I'm being oppessed!" 

View attachment oppressed.jpg


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## EtobicokeFA (Jan 23, 2008)

RedVelvet said:


> oh thats just BS too....
> 
> I am not attacking you, I promise, but this kinda crap just makes me nuts.
> 
> ...



I know that, I was just making a sarcastic joke about all the silliness, of the whole thing. I guess I forgot to put the little face on it to point it out as such, sorry!


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## RedVelvet (Jan 23, 2008)

EtobicokeFA said:


> I know that, I was just making a sarcastic joke about all the silliness, of the whole thing. I guess I forgot to put the little face on it to point it out as such, sorry!




Nah...I'm the one who is sorry...its a real pet peeve of mine, and I surely don't mean to take it out on you. 

You are sweet.


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## UMBROBOYUM (Apr 22, 2008)

I've been reading lately on the boards that some are discovering what we are and that we exist. It seems to me that I should ask any person here if they're interested in knowing how our minds work (men who like BBWs). I've always liked bigger women, even when I was to little to understand. even now its hard to understand at various times in my life but, the conclusion for me is always the same. Its who I am and what I choose.

Sometimes I think its not how our minds work, but how we accept ourselves and make the choice to pursue what makes us happy. I usually ask myself "..Well.. what are you going to do about it??" and the answer is go out with a bbw. I may not always get a bbw, but a bbw makes me happy just a little bit more than a non bbw. I can still be happy with either, but I prefer a bbw.



Anyways I figured I'd post here than starting a new thread. 

I don't know if anyone understood, so fire away those questions!


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## mergirl (Apr 22, 2008)

well i quess if you can say that you find both fat and thin people attractive then you are bi-fatual. I have a friend who has completely no size preference and who loves both equally and had been with both big and small (and medium sized) women and has been equally happy or un happy depending on the relationship.
as for the different reasons that people are f.a's .. i feel all of the above. Humans are such complicated beasties and sexuality is a very subjective thing. Its also really fluid, so that perhaps when you are younger you prefer a particular type of person and then it changes as we get older.. could be a hormonal thing, that we constantly learn to appreciate different aspects of a person or maby we just need to widen our horizons from sheer frustration! lol
its been really interesting to read some of your experiences and thoughs.
I would say for me i have always had an attraction to larger people though i didnt actually know it was a "thing".. i have been with "thinner" people in the past.. but in all honesty now that i have been with larger partners i dont think i could ever go back. That being said, there is a whole lot more attributes in a person that i would rate much more important to me than body shape.. and obviously were my partner to loose weight i really dont think i would find them less attractive because there are so many other things that outweigh (sic) physical appearance..
xmer


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## UMBROBOYUM (Nov 9, 2008)

I've been bumping recent post of mine lately. I figured I shouldn't make new threads with repetitive themes that I've posted already. With that said, I think should ask the question to everyone, do you understand F.A.s or FFAs? I've seen quite a few people asking about FAs and I figure they could post their questions here and see if we could answer them?


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## Thrifty McGriff (Nov 10, 2008)

RedVelvet said:


> oh thats just BS too....
> 
> I am not attacking you, I promise, but this kinda crap just makes me nuts.
> 
> ...



I already repped you for a previous message but I would rep you again for this one if I could, both for your points about the BS regarding PC (which is just a way of controlling people) and the excellent Monty Python reference. Dennis is one of the funniest characters in that film. 

I think I was either born loving fat women or sexual attraction for some (or all?) is shaped in the early stages of life before or around 5. I recall dreaming of large women sometime between 5 and 7, not realizing at the time that it would be sexual. I also seemed drawn towards fat people somewhat, and would ask fat people innocent questions about their fatness only a kid could ask. I also hurt the feelings of some fat girls no doubt, simply by pointing out they were fat. I think I was a stupid kid imitating my somewhat cruel (at the time) older brother who poked fun at my chubby sister all the time, but you live and learn. I had regrets about my actions but obviously one can't dwell on past mistakes. 

It actually took me a longer time than what I believe to be normal to realize what I found sexually attractive, because I thought I was supposed to like slender girls like every other guy around me and they simply weren't doing it for me. Then I had my Gr. 8 teacher with a large behind that I couldn't help but stare at often, plus I gave negative attention to the chubby girls in class prior to Gr. 8 (which is when depression started to seep in), and by Gr. 9 it had hit me that I liked fat women. Depression also raged unchecked by then so I was helpless to do anything with any girls that I liked throughout high school. -_- Fun times!


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## mergirl (Nov 10, 2008)

RedVelvet said:


> oh thats just BS too....
> 
> I am not attacking you, I promise, but this kinda crap just makes me nuts.
> 
> ...


But Pc terms go along with social discourses available at the time. So while "coloured" may seem offensive now it might not have been at one time, while "black" seems acceptable now maby it wont always be. Personally ive never met someone who was entierly black or entierly white. When i used to teach theatre workshops it was with people with "special needs" and now that i'm studying psychology they are "mental health service users/survivers". "queer" has now been "re-claimed" apparently and gay means something shit!? erm,. personally i dont care what people call me so long as i know they arnt doing so in a mallicious way. Its the intent behind the words that makes them powerful.


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## GoldenDelicious (Nov 10, 2008)

I am a BBW. I don't think that we should analyse too much why we are attracted to a certain body type or have a certain fetish etc. We all have our own attractions. When I was 5 years old I had a teacher who had a couple of squinty teeth, her teeth were white and nice and she was pretty and a nice person but when she would talk I would always watch her mouth and think her teeth were lovely. I didn't have sexual feelings about her but I felt good around her.

Now as an adult if I meet someone and they have nice teeth, generally white and not too small, I find that an attractive quality. Now, in the fake plastic over cosmetically enhanced world in which we live we would be conditioned to belive that perfectly straight big gleaming white teeth were the best. For me if I had to choose I would go for the one who's teeth weren't perfectly straight porcelin veneers and be attracted to the one who perhaps had a little squinted tooth. Now is that because of my teacher from years ago, who cares?? I don't wank over over people people with squinty teeth and I know being an FA is more than a preference of a quirky little attraction but all I'm saying is, unless your attraction is harming another person why stress about it or ever feel bad about yourself?

I am thankful that FA's exist because my lovely partner was attracted to me and it grew from there. Is not any different to someone being attracted to big breasts, blonde hair, red hair etc. Why feel shallow or bad about it. If you find your bbw or bhm they will be so happy that you have this fetish/preference or whatever it is. 

I personally think that for most people the physical attraction is what draws you in the first place and then if there is no more substance to the relationship it will fizzle out. It might me a hot sexual romance for a short term but not something true love will grow from. Whereas if you are attracted physically then mentally and compatible in other ways besides attraction your relationship will grow from strength to strength. I know it is a lot more complicated than this but why overcomplicate things, life is complicated enough!!


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## bdog (Nov 10, 2008)

One feeling I have is that being an FA has made me a stronger person. Society/friends/family etc. may not understand, but I've got to be myself anyway, and this requires a certain measure of self-love and fortitude.

As far as why/how I came to have my preferences, well, I'm no closer to answering that than I ever was. There's actually a lot of aspects to my sexuality beyond just being an FA, and they're all part of me, unfathomable by nature, and incredibly gratifying in practice.  I question what's healthy, what's realistic, and so forth. I just don't come up with a lot of answers. 

Sometimes I resent being an FA, like when I'm making out with a thin girl and I'm just not that interested. It's actually a fairly isolating experience and I've feared that I'd never find the right person for me. Now when I have a crush on a thin girl I just don't even bother going down that road.

I used to look at pornography a lot and I wonder if I somehow hardwired my brain into a specific body type. Now I don't look at it very much but it hasn't helped in broadening my horizons.

I suppose ultimately I just walk forward, head high, towards beauty, towards light, sometimes with a partner, sometimes with myself.


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## UMBROBOYUM (Nov 11, 2008)

I think now after reading golden and Bdog's posts I feel maybe I should add to the "question of do we understand F.A.s ?" the thought of understanding one's self. ((Prepare for a long and boring post LOL.))




In other words I understand that I love women(BBWs). Its that simple. No descriptive words or anything. Plain and simple. I agree with Golden, life is too complicated in some regards. Why make it complicated? Sounds fine to me. I like it simple too sometimes. On the flip side I think complex could offer more than simplex. For example If I could chose to study a flashlight (torch). I could push the switch and it produces light. Simple easy to understand right? Do I want to know more ? Maybe and maybe not? I could choose to take the light apart study the composition of the conductors and the voltage ratings, look at the power consumption and take apart to switch to find how it works, test different battery cells and light bulbs etc.. etc.. In the end I find a schematic and study the diagram and see what actually turns on the flashlight. I could live life without knowing the complexities of how the flashlight turns on because all I need to know is that it turns on and shines light. Simple and easy. I could choose to study how the light works and the end result will be the same, will it turn on and shine light? Yes. 





Now you have a choice. An option. Some people like to understand the basic form of "things" and that is good. Others may want to understand more about the form and that is fine too. I'd like to help people here understand more about F.A.s. The result is always going to be the same whether it be simple or complex, We love and admire fat women. We are out there and we are real people. 





Some of you might come here to understand and find more than just that about F.A.s. We could presume that in order to understand someone else we might have to understand ourselves first. However, You could also presume that in order to understand ourselves we may have to understand others. 


I'll share some of my thoughts and feelings.


As Bdog implied being an F.A. has made him strong. I feel the same way.
I've always loved women. Thin through thick. I've always felt attracted more to thick women or fat women. Growing up I couldn't understand myself in the light of why and how this came to be. Later I found that there were women who felt that these kind of men like myself did not exist. Through experience, observation, and reading I began to understand a little about others who shared or had similar interests as I. In this I found that I understood I had purpose and gave me identity. 




I felt stronger mentally and socially as I knew where I fit in society. In identifying my needs about myself I found that I could possibly provide fulfillment or an "answer" to these lovely bbws looking for guys who liked them. In seeking them out they taught me their needs and wants. I figured out from what they wanted and needed, what kind of person I was or could strive to be. I understood myself more in that I wanted to be the guy who appreciated their curves, make them laugh, hug them in a time of need, or cuddle with them. Some wanted the the buff guy, the chess player, the mysterious fello', the solider, musician, artist, comedian etc... Most importantly I found that they could accept my heart. And that is what makes me strong now knowing that I could accept and be accepted by a BBW. I feel genuine and great when I've found that I made a woman's day by telling and showing her that she is beautiful. I find peace in admiring a BBW and making her feel like a person in an anti-fat world. Some woman know they're beautiful, but I think its nice to say it or make it known to them every once in awhile. I think we F.A.s will always be there to say and mean things like "More cushin for the pushin" "I like big butts" "Yes I find you attractive no matter how fat you think you are..." etc.. As men we'll do our best to remind you why we love you so much. 




Though life changes a lot for me, I'll always be a guy who loves Women (BBWs). Fat is a thing that can come with them or not because what makes me happy is someone who is willing to try to understand me for me and accept that. That's what most of us try to find in life I think. I feel that sometimes keeping my expression simple (( I love BBWs)) has helped others understand and explaining here ((Why I love fat chicks, what makes me love them? etc... etc..)) has also helped as well.




I'd like to think this discussion could help Women (BBWs/FFAs) and Men (BHMs/F.A.s) understand themselves more by seeing what each person's feelings, perspectives, and experiences are. 



So to stay on topic for this thread I guess I should pose a few questions



Do you want to find out more about F.As? 

Does reading and learning about F.A.s help you understand yourself better? 

If so, how?


For those still curious or interested post away your thoughts and experiences.


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## Tad (Nov 11, 2008)

> Do you want to find out more about F.As?
> 
> Does reading and learning about F.A.s help you understand yourself better?
> 
> If so, how?



With regard the first question, I'm a bit back and forth. I'm pretty convinced that there is neither just one type of FA nor one reason why people may be FAs. I find the variety interesting, but at times these discussions seem to circle around the same issues again and again and again. So while I'm interested in FAs, sometimes I wonder if we'll ever figure much more out with a web forums discussion?

With regard to the second question, however, yes, these discussions have helped me understand myself better in the past, and sometimes they still do trigger some new insight into myself. In a way I think it is the process of discussion that yields more value than any conclusions that we come up with.

Regards;

-Ed


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## Durin (Nov 11, 2008)

Many Thoughts.

I am still surprised that there has been almost zero research about FA Sexuality.

I know many folks say Sexuality is a loaded word and completly over the top for the FA' thing but to some degree I think it fits.

The reason it fits, is because at least for me the FA experience has been one of isolation. I grew up pre-internet. Now I don't know wheather it was the fact that I was a shy nerd but I really feel that the experience of having a different set of desires than most has had some effect on most "older" FA's

The first being the primacy of Fantasy. I don't know that your plain vanilla person would write pages of sexual fantasy. I just don't know, maybe they do.

The best example of a young FA is Lilo from the Disney kid's movie Lilo and Stitch. She walks around taking pictures of Fat People. "Their just beautiful."


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## bmann0413 (Nov 11, 2008)

Well, I'm glad I identify myself as a FA. Not many people here would admit to something like that. For example, I was talking to some of my classmates during lunch when this cute big girl was in our eyesight. My classmates admitted that she was cute, but they also stated that maybe she should do a few pushups so that she'll even cuter. I happened to mention that I thought that she was good-looking as she was. They wondered why the hell I said that, and I told them about my being an FA. So they pretty much called me a freak to my face and said that the only reason I like fat girls is because I wouldn't be able to get any other hot girls (thin ones, BTW) anyways, so I had to settle for the bottom of the barrel. So instead of kicking their asses, I just got up and went to talk to that big girl. I had a good time talking to her, and right before I went back to class, I let her know that she was pretty attractive. Man, she had blushed beet red when I said that, lol. She then mentioned that she was really thankful I told her that because she kinda felt unattractive.

But silly me, I forgot to tell her about Dimensions! I just realized it! :doh:


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## bellyjelly (Nov 11, 2008)

What a brilliant post!

I'm interested in all aspects of FAness. It's interesting to read how you all came to find yourselves, or this aspect of yourselves.

I know it's hard growing up as a fat person. Now I understand how difficult it must be to grow up as an FA. The pressure from society and peers must have seemed insurmountable at the time.

Congratulations for getting through this and out the other side. I admire you all. :bow:


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## Fascinita (Nov 11, 2008)

tres huevos said:


> I lust after fat women constantly, and I think about cheating all the time. I chalk this up to maleness rather than FAness, but who knows?



Don't be so quick to chalk it up to any "ness"--maleness or FAness. You know that there are FAs and other men out there who do not think about cheating all the time. This is your life. It is your choice, though of course there are things like hormones, etc. Still, it just isn't true that all men or all FAs are one way or another. To separate yourself from your self and attribute your choices to a kind of sympton that comes parcel with your "condition" of maleness or FAness may be a little ... mnmm... out of touch. 

(I'm not saying this with any antagonism. I know I am out of touch, too, in many regards. So this is not a criticism from a position of "holier than you," but from a position of neutral observer. Just pointing out something that seems to be escaping your observation, in a spirit of honesty. I'd just as soon shut up, but I like you, and I figure you can handle it. Be well.)

And, uh, fat women are nature's wonders. Don't forget that. And, mmm, sorry you feel so conflicted about us. I hope you work it out.


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## UMBROBOYUM (Nov 11, 2008)

bmann0413 said:


> Well, I'm glad I identify myself as a FA. Not many people here would admit to something like that. For example, I was talking to some of my classmates during lunch when this cute big girl was in our eyesight. My classmates admitted that she was cute, but they also stated that maybe she should do a few pushups so that she'll even cuter. I happened to mention that I thought that she was good-looking as she was. They wondered why the hell I said that, and I told them about my being an FA. So they pretty much called me a freak to my face and said that the only reason I like fat girls is because I wouldn't be able to get any other hot girls (thin ones, BTW) anyways, so I had to settle for the bottom of the barrel. So instead of kicking their asses, I just got up and went to talk to that big girl. I had a good time talking to her, and right before I went back to class, I let her know that she was pretty attractive. Man, she had blushed beet red when I said that, lol. She then mentioned that she was really thankful I told her that because she kinda felt unattractive.
> 
> But silly me, I forgot to tell her about Dimensions! I just realized it! :doh:



Right on bro! haha I'd like to do that when I get the next chance. Thanks for the input everyone!


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## BigBeautifulRed (Nov 12, 2008)

UMBROBOYUM said:


> Fat admiration
> 
> 
> Have you ever wanted to know what makes an F.A. tick? When and how he/she came to have feelings of fat admiration? How long have F.As been around for or how far back in recorded history can we see F.A.s?? What do you believe are the factors or experiences in determining what makes a person admire fat?? Is it a combination of both?? Is human nature or nurturing responsible for one's sensitive attraction and/or fascination of fat? Is there a shared compositional link or definable patterns and/or causes that we can ascribe to F.A.s of the past and present company? What experiences might one expect with an F.A. s? What experiences do you suppose an F.A. has with others?
> ...


i have been curious about FA's in history but then again go explore any rennisance exhibit and I think you find it quite clear what men thought of bigger women at least what italian men thought. I do believe it has a lot with childhood experiences that determine if a man is an FA or not. My boyfriend says he feels he is one because he loved to snuggle with his fat aunt tori, as a young child, he felt her belly was warm and soft, something he looked for in women futher on. I'm not sure i know what you meant by human nurturing of sensitivity, but I do think FA's are much kinder romantic men.


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## bobbleheaddoll (Nov 15, 2008)

first, let me preface with the fact i have dated men of all sizes and choose companions based on personality and intelligence no matter what their size. However, as a physical preference, i do tend to like bhm. i know for me personally, i like the fact that a bhm has some meat on him. i need someone who feels solid...who is big enough that when they get close i feel safe. 

to be honest, i think my preference for bhm is less about him and more about my being a bbw myself. don't get me wrong, i don't have esteem issues. i am totally comfortable with me and i rock my curves...what i mean is that i need a man who is big enough that if i want to snuggle on the couch and lean on him, i don't feel like i am gonna crush him. i need someone who is a solid base for other activities too.  

i think bhm offer a sense of security in their physical being that smaller guys just can't. i think it is that sense of security that attracts me to bhm rather than just their physical body mass.


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## chunkylex (Nov 16, 2008)

Well being I'm 21 i still kinda fresh from the high school scene, it is just a maturity level. when i was younger i liked skinny girls up to a little Chunky, then again i was just going on with my peers liked. as you get older, especially when you get out of high school you really develop your own style and taste. i told my Friends i love all girls, skinny, fit, chunky, a little bit on the fat side. I'm simple. if she has a cute face and looks Good then that's what i care for, the next is personality. as for friends, when push comes to shove. the real ones will support and understand your preference or taste. life's to short to keep negativity with you, so if a friend has a problem then Do what you got to Do.:bow:


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## Blockierer (Nov 16, 2008)

bellyjelly said:


> .
> I know it's hard growing up as a fat person. Now I understand how difficult it must be to grow up as an FA. The pressure from society and peers must have seemed insurmountable at the time.
> .:bow:




I really don't know what is so difficult to be in love with a fat person? 
I haven' t known any FA who came in prison cause of fat admiration. 

So, if anyone says that I have fat wife, he is right.  I love the fact that everybody can see that my wife is fat. 
In my experience people have lots of respect for confident FAs.  
FAs of all genders take what is yours and don't be worry.


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## Haunted (Nov 16, 2008)

I am forever asking why I'm an fa why do i prefer a fat girl to a thin one yadda yadda, It drives Misty crazy cause i will sometimes voice out my thoughts about it to her, she wonders why i need to know. I don't think it's so much a need to know because in the end i Love her and she is my dream girl, But i'm curious by nature i'm the kid who took apart the flashlight to see how it worked.

Part of the reason why we want to understand ourselves better as fa's and i'm sure why BBW's and BHM's may want to know more is because in the wider scheme of things we are a bit of an oddity, we all grew up being told fat is bad, unhealthy, ugly. But to be attracted to the things that are "supposed to be ugly" definitely confuses a young boy. I have always been attracted to big girls just didn't notice it till i learned about fa's when i was a teenager i used to joke that i was a fat magnet, cause i always seemed to date the chubby girls at school, i didn't say this to be mean it was more out of ignorance and denial i suppose.

also as a young boy i remember being fascinated by the cards at spencer gift that featured Teighlor and Eartha (i mentioned this before in another thread somewhere) I also tended to gravitate to larger people, My mom used to yell at me for staring at the fat lady at the market (of course it's never polite to stare), i'm sure she was embarrassed by the fact that her son was rudely staring but i wasn't being rude i was fascinated by how nice they where to look at pleasing to the eye if you will. i was reminded of this yesterday as my daughter sat there and stared at a family speaking chinese, now i was a bit embarrassed because she was right in front of them staring and trying to hear what they were saying. but it occurred to me that she had never heard these sounds before and it was obvious they where saying something She was being curious and was interested in what was going on, i was just praying she didn't say something like "why are they talking funny?" 

I started to explore my fa'ness around the age of 25, thanks to the internet, and Misty was the one who really helped me accept myself and embrace my fa'ness and at the same time i helped Misty accept and embrace her size, even though she was a web model she hadn't really accepted herself but she did understand that people found it titillating in the least, Her ex didn't help, he was always cutting her down and using her size against her. As far as me being in the closet i just felt like an oddity and i felt alone i thought my friends would laugh at me or whatever, in reality one of my friends just said "i Know Bro" when i told hm i liked Big girls the others didn't even blink. So for me denying my fa'ness was only punishing myself and any BBW's i had dated in the past, One in particular my jr. in high school i dated a very beautiful bbw and i was very conflicted about it (I was such a stupid Kid), years later i found out that when we split she was very hurt and ended up with a complex about her size because of it, I feel terrible knowing i contributed to her poor self image, happily though i hear she did work through it and get over it. 

What is it about fat that i'm attracted to? visually i love the curves, the swell of her hips, I love the look of her big thick thighs, something about her width makes me desire her, and her round full tummy, I'v told her before that her body is a Visual Playground. Physically I love how soft she feels i love how ample she is in my arms, i love how her body envelopes me when we cuddle, The feel of her weight ... she's just so substantial, actually thats a good point also She has substance i don't feel like she's so delicate i might break her as silly as that sounds. 

I also have feeder tendencies i don't so much view it as a negative but i understand that it's a fantasy and doesn't necessarily control my desires. Would i love to see her gain? Ummmm Yeah, I look at it like this i like my girl big and if she were bigger how can that be a problem (Health is always number one of course) Would i be upset if she lost? no i don't think so, as long as she was happy. we'v talked about this and i think if she was below 200-250 i might misss her size and softness, But i love her, Not because she's fat. I Love her and She is Fat. 

It's to bad so many young fa's either don't understand that it's ok and they aren't weird, 

Here's a question. Do you love her because she's fat or do love fat because of her ? lol Kind of a what came first Question... i think ultimately the question is far to narrow to be fairly answered but it made me chuckle.

There is so much more i want to say but this has already gotten long winded .


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## JoeFA (Nov 16, 2008)

UMBROBOYUM said:


> Do you want to find out more about F.As?
> 
> Does reading and learning about F.A.s help you understand yourself better?
> 
> If so, how?



Well no not really, i think each and every FA is going to be different so reading about others experience, though it may be interesting or similar to your own experiences, isn't going to help you that much. Hasn't reall helped me "understand myselfbetter", i still feel the same as i always have, i like BBWs, SSBBWs as a preference in women, though that's not the be all and end all.

You should decide for yourself about your preferences, not be influenced by others just cause they said so. It's different for everyone.


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## Adrian (Nov 16, 2008)

Haunted said:


> I am forever asking why I'm an fa why do i prefer a fat girl to a thin one yadda yadda


It is only important if you deem it important!



Haunted said:


> Part of the reason why we want to understand ourselves better as fa's and i'm sure why BBW's and BHM's may want to know more is because in the wider scheme of things we are a bit of an oddity


"WE" are less of an oddity than the mass media would have you believe. The mass media has their agenda and getting you to buy into something you are not helps their cause.



Haunted said:


> My mom used to yell at me for staring at the fat lady at the market


You were not trying to be impolite, you were just a dirty old man in training!



Haunted said:


> The feel of her weight ... she's just so substantial, actually thats a good point


That is just part of being an FA. Whether cuddling, having her sit on your lap, etc. her mass is definitelly a positive in an FA's relationships.



Haunted said:


> I also have feeder tendencies i don't so much view it as a negative but i understand that it's a fantasy and doesn't necessarily control my desires.


It is part of the reality of being an FA, that if you don't mind the BBW you love gaining weight, many FAs (including myself) find it (the process) exciting.



Haunted said:


> Do you love her because she's fat or do love fat because of her ?


Being an FA is no different than any other preference men have towards women (this not to say women don't have preferences). How many men prefer blonds, skinny, short women, etc., it is no different than preferring BBWs.

Adrian


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