# In pictures?



## Surlysomething (Aug 6, 2007)

I dress nicely, I take care of myself, great hygiene, nice tasteful makeup...I feel like I look great when I go out, then I see myself in pictures and it breaks my heart.


It's such a struggle to love myself and when I see myself in pictures and I don't look the way I feel in my head, it's devastating. Does that make sense?


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## Santaclear (Aug 6, 2007)

I've had that experience, Surly, and I think most of us struggle with that. Everyone photographs differently than they really look. I find it interesting. Pictures really ARE totally different from reality. They're an art medium. Some people are just photogenic and it's not always that they're prettier IMO, it's more that they're performers.

ETA: I just saw the photo and I second what Sandi said below - you DO look beautiful!


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## Sandie S-R (Aug 6, 2007)

Surlysomething said:


> I dress nicely, I take care of myself, great hygiene, nice tasteful makeup...I feel like I look great when I go out, then I see myself in pictures and it breaks my heart.
> 
> 
> It's such a struggle to love myself and when I see myself in pictures and I don't look the way I feel in my head, it's devastating. Does that make sense?



Sweetie, it's just programming. If you were taught your whole life that fat=beauty, then you might find your photos quite pleasing. You just need to re-program your belief system. Positive thoughts and images of fat and fat people really do help, but it can take some time. I saw that pic of you and your doggie, and you look beautiful. Honestly.


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## Scrumptious_voluptuous (Aug 6, 2007)

I think it's getting used to it.

I had the same toruble. I started doing a film course, and we had to act as well as produce the films we did. When I first saw myself, I was shocked and totally upset, but the more and more I did it, and the more I saw, I just got used to it - and eventually started to look on film like I did in the mirror! Even with some of the hideous costumes I had to wear! 

It's the same as when you hear your voice on an answering machine or something...the first time it's a shock, but if you listened to yourself a lot though the day, you start to sound like you do in your head. 

You don;t see yourself as others see you other than that one shapshot, and theres a lot of variables - angle, lighting, quality etc. Its a silly thing to go by, but alas something we put a lot into. But if you did have the chance to watch yourself a lot, you;d see the same as you saw in the mirror, and the same as your friends see you  After all, it cant differ that much!


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## willamena31 (Aug 6, 2007)

I very much understand what you mean. Sometimes I look at pictures my hubby takes of me and I think they look awful. Like this one pic he took close up of him and I, it's on my profile I believe. I looked at that and thought to myself, "My God!! Look how big I am compaired to him??" I showed it to him, and all he could say is, "Wow look how beautiful my wife is!! I got myself a hottie!!" That made me feel so much better and it's now one of my favorite pictures. I don't know what my point is to this really. LOL I just think we all are very over critical or ourselves, and sometimes it takes an outside perspective to make us realize we may be wrong.

Hugggsss!!
Billie Jo


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## Surlysomething (Aug 6, 2007)

Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement, I appreciate it. 

I think it will always be a struggle for me, but hearing other viewpoints makes it easier.


:bow:


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## squurp (Aug 6, 2007)

Surlysomething said:


> I dress nicely, I take care of myself, great hygiene, nice tasteful makeup...I feel like I look great when I go out, then I see myself in pictures and it breaks my heart.
> 
> 
> It's such a struggle to love myself and when I see myself in pictures and I don't look the way I feel in my head, it's devastating. Does that make sense?



Well, I am happily married, so I'll say this on a hypothetical basis.

You probably look absolutely radiant the way you are, and I am quite sure I'd be following you with my eyes a bit.

If you looked like you feel, (I assume thin?), you wouldn't even catch my eye.

beauty is in the eye of the beholder.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Aug 6, 2007)

It's always a bit of a shock to see a photo of yourself, even if the picture is flattering. Part of the reason is because you never look the way you _think_ you look. After all, you usually see your face reflected in a mirror or a window...which is the _reverse_ of the way you look in a photo.

This does not explain why my driver's license always makes me look like a mentally retarded serial killer.


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## elle camino (Aug 6, 2007)

yep, i feel you. 
i'm still in that 'in the mirror i'm a goddess, in pictures i am jabba the hut' phase, personally.
i figure i'll eventually grow out of it? maybe? who knows.


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## PrettyKitty (Aug 6, 2007)

Scrumptious_voluptuous said:


> It's the same as when you hear your voice on an answering machine or something...the first time it's a shock, but if you listened to yourself a lot though the day, you start to sound like you do in your head.



Exactly.
I remember the first time a guy told me that I had a sexy voice. I totally laughed it off, but he insisted. It takes getting used to. I've heard myself on recordings and I hate it. lol

By the way, you're a really pretty lady.


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## Lady at Large (Aug 6, 2007)

I used to not let my pictures be taken, I have decades of my life where I may as well not even have been alive if pictures were any indication. Then I had a friend come over to visit from Australia a few years ago and he was a picture-aholic. Every time I turned around he was taking pictures...sheesh! I had to get used to it. (And am happy I did, I actually have pictures of myself at really neat places.) 

Now I am able to take pictures to capture a moment, and include myself in them. I'm even getting to think I look cute-ish.  

Once you break the seal all the rest gets easier, like the first time we dare put on a tank top and show our arms. Keep doing it!


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## Friday (Aug 6, 2007)

Fat or skinny, I've never liked pics of myself. It's something I think that is programmed into us, modesty and all that. I've been ducking pics for most of my life (even when I was a size 7, so size wasn't the issue) but when my Sis protested shortly after our Mom died that if anything happened to me she wouldn't even have a picture to remember me by I stopped. I still don't like them but the people they belong to seem to.


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## Admiral_Snackbar (Aug 7, 2007)

I see pictures of myself and always think one thing: I MUST FIND A MORE SUITABLE HOST BODY.

All joking aside, we are always our own worst critics. Trust me, you look great. Wonderful, in fact. Aside from the fact every big person looks bigger on film, unless you have a professional take your pictures, or box the odds to find a decent shot of yourself out of potentially hundreds, you're going to face disappontment sooner or later.


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## djewell (Aug 7, 2007)

i totally feel you. for me its not so much "oh my god i'm so fat!" so much as "look at my face! i'm uglier in real life " then people are like: look at that jaw and the ridiculously outsized nose. and there compliments reassure me.

i think a couple of key points were mentioned:
i)people look different in real life as compared to their mental image.
ii)compliments of others reassure people's self image.


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## lemmink (Aug 7, 2007)

I know so much how you feel... I won't let other people take pictures of me anymore, because other people's photos look hideous. What I do though instead is take pictures of myself with a mirror & a digital camera... then I can look how I look in the mirror instead of like the grotesque ogre-beast that appears in photographs.


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## SuperMishe (Aug 7, 2007)

I used to HATE having my picture taking for all the reasons people mentioned here. I would be having an "I look awesome" day then see a pic of myself and think, OMG, I'm hideous!

Know what cured me? Scrapbooking!! LOL! About 8 years ago, along with my friends Deidra and CIndy, I started this addictive hobby. Initially, all my layouts were of events that I had attended, but you'd never have known because there were no pics of me, or if there were, I was making a funny/silly/stupid face. It became a running joke that it was "all about the scrabook" whenever we were anywhere. When you scrap, everything and anything becomes an event to record with a layout! SLowly but surely, I started letting friends take pics of me so I could include myself in my own scrapbooks!

Because I'm a scrapper, and I'm past the whole "don't take my picture" thing, I get a little frustrated when I'm at an event and people run from the camera. I want to say "Don't you realize that I want a pic of you because you're my friend and I like the way you look and I want to preserve the memories of us together?" Sometimes I *do* say it but it rarely convinces them!

So my advice to anyone hating pics of themselves, start scrapping! You'll get used to seeing yourself, you get to be crafty and it's fun!!


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## activistfatgirl (Aug 7, 2007)

I definitely struggle with this. I'm with Elle. I'm often leaving my house feelin' ha-cha-cha hot and then see pictures and my bloated, sweaty mug just makes me feel sad and undesirable. Much of this is perception (I hope).


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## Ned Sonntag (Aug 7, 2007)

Surlysomething said:


> I dress nicely, I take care of myself, great hygiene, nice tasteful makeup...I feel like I look great when I go out, then I see myself in pictures and it breaks my heart.
> 
> 
> It's such a struggle to love myself and when I see myself in pictures and I don't look the way I feel in my head, it's devastating. Does that make sense?


I think I've mentioned that you're very pretty and have even better hair than mine.:batting:


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## Surlysomething (Aug 9, 2007)

Ned Sonntag said:


> I think I've mentioned that you're very pretty and have even better hair than mine.:batting:



Thanks, Ned


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## SunKissedLynny (Aug 9, 2007)

It's such a struggle to love myself and when I see myself in pictures and I don't look the way I feel in my head, it's devastating. Does that make sense?[/QUOTE]


I went through the same thing a few months back. My bestfriend took some photos of me and I thought, "I dont look like that". Part of that is just I dont have full length mirrors where I live and so I really was only seeing 'parts of myself'. 

I have to say that since ive been joining the chat room at night and meeting lots of bbws and FAs -- I've really come to accept myself on a more deeper level. I feel alot more calm about myself, and alot less judgemental. I like this - it keeps me relaxed and feel free to flow and allow my inner essence out. Thats the part of me I love best, afterall. The rest is just the beautiful package I flow within.

Love to you!
-Lynny


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## 1300 Class (Aug 10, 2007)

> I dress nicely, I take care of myself, great hygiene, nice tasteful makeup...I feel like I look great when I go out, then I see myself in pictures and it breaks my heart.
> 
> 
> It's such a struggle to love myself and when I see myself in pictures and I don't look the way I feel in my head, it's devastating. Does that make sense?



Totally know about it. Your not alone in feeling that way at all *looks inwardly*.


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## kr7 (Aug 10, 2007)

I was watching a show today with Cindy Crawford and Tyra Banks, and guess what, even they say that a camera makes them look bigger. Point is that even super models have a similar issue.  

Chris


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## merseylass (Aug 11, 2007)

I have felt this way all of my life really. I don't know for sure how I came to dislike myself in photos and even now when I look back on photos I end up comparing it with how big I am now, and think I was ok way back then! (i.e. I came across my grad photo from 1966!!!! and thought...."I look really pretty and happy in that photo"...and yet at the time I was so shy and embarrassed at how "fat" I was....where did all that negativity come from????).

I know what it is to feel really great all decked out in best clothes and then feel so deflated when viewing a photo. Inside I felt great, put together really well etc...................and then the photo shoots me down in flames!!!

From a fellow Vancouverite (now living in the UK)I do understand...I really do.

Jacquie


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## SunKissedLynny (Aug 11, 2007)

merseylass said:


> I have felt this way all of my life really. I don't know for sure how I came to dislike myself in photos and even now when I look back on photos I end up comparing it with how big I am now, and think I was ok way back then! (i.e. I came across my grad photo from 1966!!!! and thought...."I look really pretty and happy in that photo"...and yet at the time I was so shy and embarrassed at how "fat" I was....where did all that negativity come from????).
> 
> I know what it is to feel really great all decked out in best clothes and then feel so deflated when viewing a photo. Inside I felt great, put together really well etc...................and then the photo shoots me down in flames!!!
> 
> ...




Your post made me think about my mom who I thought was a really beautiful woman. However, when she was in high school in the 50s she felt fat at 130lbs. Its just crazy. She looked fabulous... but always questioned herself. Silly world we live in.


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## Jellybean (Aug 11, 2007)

I can totally relate, Surly. I went to a big event not long ago, feeling all gussied up and hot with lots of people giving me compliments and when I saw the photos taken at the event, I wanted to leave the house with a bag on my head.

However, a few things: there have been more times I can count that I'm looking at photos with someone and they will express horror at what I see as a perfectly adorable picture of themselves. That put things in perspective for me. And then a few years ago someone who used to work at an ad agency told me that even with professional models using pro makeup, lighting, etc. it could take the photographer hundreds of photos to get a handful that were useable and attractive. 3D is hard to capture in 2D.


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## Surlysomething (Aug 27, 2008)

I had one of those nights again...


saw the pictures, felt sad and very unattractive..even though I was really happy and enjoying my birthday

it really sucks


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## cute_obese_girl (Aug 27, 2008)

Surly, I understand how you're feeling. Most people go through this whether they are fat or not, I think. For me, I think the reason is that we just aren't used looking at ourselves. Even when we look in the mirror we are checking out something specific: i.e. how is the hair, the makeup, is that blouse hanging correctly? It is very rare that we stand in front of the mirror and see ourselves as a whole. The only time that happens is when we look at a photograph and then it is a complete surprise. It feels odd to look at oneself that way because we don't do it often enough.

I have two suggestions. First spend some time in front of the mirror. Clothed or unclothed is up to you  See where your eye goes. If you find yourself focusing on something you aren't that happy about make it a point to find something you do like. Continue to do that from head to toe. Get used to seeing the whole you and it will make it less of a surprise when you see yourself in a picture.

Second, and this is what really has helped me, is go through the picture threads here or even the paysite board and really look at the lovely ladies on this board. Most of the time we look, think they look great, and move on. But, when I really looked I realized that some of the women I thought looked great, had some characteristics that were similar to mine. I'd think hey, she has a stomach that kind of looks like mine. So why is it when I saw her I thought she was beautiful, but when I see the same thing on me I am horrified? That's when I realized that I was being overcritical of myself and that if I wanted to be happy with myself I needed to use the same loving eye with myself as I am able to use with others.

It takes work, no doubt. I'm glad you bumped this thread, I missed it the first time around. Also, I didn't know it was your birthday! Happy Birthday to the lovely and beautiful Surly


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## CleverBomb (Aug 27, 2008)

Surlysomething said:


> I had one of those nights again...
> 
> 
> saw the pictures, felt sad and very unattractive..even though I was really happy and enjoying my birthday
> ...


1. Happy Birthday!
2. I've seen pictures that you've posted of yourself. You're quite attractive. So there. 

-Rusty


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## Friday (Aug 27, 2008)

He's right Surly. All the pictures you've posted here have shown a very attractive woman.


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## LalaCity (Aug 27, 2008)

I'm camera-shy and hate, hate, HAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTE!!!! the way I look in most photos. People will snap me on their cell phones and then show me the picture and I'll fake a smile and chuckle, meanwhile thinking, God -- if only they'd excuse themselves for a moment so I can hit delete!

So what I'm trying to say is you're not alone.


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## LalaCity (Aug 27, 2008)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> It's always a bit of a shock to see a photo of yourself, even if the picture is flattering. Part of the reason is because you never look the way you _think_ you look. After all, you usually see your face reflected in a mirror or a window...which is the _reverse_ of the way you look in a photo.
> 
> This does not explain why my driver's license always makes me look like a mentally retarded serial killer.



Also -- cause I've obviously thought about this -- when (non-professional type) cameras capture your image they often overexpose you a little bit. So what you see in the photo is a blunt, overbright, two-dimensional image without all the shadowing that defines the contours of the features nicely. I think (hope) that's why my face sometimes looks more blobby and shapeless than it really is.


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## Shosh (Aug 27, 2008)

Surlysomething said:


> I had one of those nights again...
> 
> 
> saw the pictures, felt sad and very unattractive..even though I was really happy and enjoying my birthday
> ...



I loved the recent pic of you, I think you were in your kitchen. It was so nice.

Tina I know exactly how you feel. Why do you think I hardly post pics of myself here? Because I have never thought I look pretty.
I look at other women and think they are pretty and I am nothing. I even feel defective because my body is failing me.

I do understand. I think maybe we both have to work at feeling better about ourselves somehow day to day. But how do we do that?
I just don't know.


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## bexy (Aug 27, 2008)

totally with ya on this.

It may seem that I am ok with the way I look and I am BUT when I am taking pictures I delete at least 50% of them, it takes me at least 2 hours to take 30 pics of me that I can cope with people seeing.


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## Shosh (Aug 27, 2008)

I thought it was only myself that has these insecurities. I see people here posting their pics all the time, and I wish I could be confident like that.

I just struggle with it.


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## bexy (Aug 27, 2008)

I look in the mirror and like the way I look, I look at some pics and like the way I look but mostly its like oh god nooooo. But its never my weight, its my skin and my jaw. I have huge paranoia about my jaw and the angle my pics get taken at because of it.


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## Tooz (Aug 27, 2008)

Surlysomething said:


> I dress nicely, I take care of myself, great hygiene, nice tasteful makeup...I feel like I look great when I go out, then I see myself in pictures and it breaks my heart.
> 
> 
> It's such a struggle to love myself and when I see myself in pictures and I don't look the way I feel in my head, it's devastating. Does that make sense?



I used to feel exactly like this. I'd look at myself in the mirror and think I looked great, and then later would catch myself in a photo that same night and just crumble at how bad I thought I looked.

I didn't let myself be in many pictures at that time. I find, though, it's more that there is a rift between one's image of oneself and the actuality beceause he or she does not see the actuality often enough. Furthermore, I think EVERYONE is harder on themselves than other people, as well.

The more pictures I see of myself, the more accurate my image of my body is, and surprisingly, the better I FEEL about my body. I now know what I look like, and when I see a picture, I'm no longer shocked at how big/whatever else I look. Granted, I have spent a lot of time working on my self image as well, which is incredibly important, but I would say exploring what your body truly looks like can help, too.

I think you are pretty, and I really hope you can get on board with that sentiment when you see photos of yourself. It takes a lot of time, but I wish you best of luck.


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## Shosh (Aug 27, 2008)

It is comforting to know that I am not the only person who struggles with this. I really want to get past this, but I just do not know where to even start.


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## bexy (Aug 27, 2008)

Susannah said:


> It is comforting to know that I am not the only person who struggles with this. I really want to get past this, but I just do not know where to even start.



What helped me is taking lots of photos as Sod's Law says I will always eventually find one I like. Then I focus more on the good pics, and just try to write the bad pics off thinking it caught me at a bd angle or unawares, and knowing that when I act naturally or smile I tend to get my best pics.


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## cute_obese_girl (Aug 27, 2008)

bexylicious said:


> I look in the mirror and like the way I look, I look at some pics and like the way I look but mostly its like oh god nooooo. But its never my weight, its my skin and my jaw. I have huge paranoia about my jaw and the angle my pics get taken at because of it.



I cannot even fathom what you could possibly find wrong with your jaw, or your skin for that matter. Not trying to single you out, Bexy, but I think this just goes to show that we all sometimes fixate on our "flaws" that no one else sees. 

My mom usually just grins in her pictures. When I finally saw one where she smiled wide with her teeth showing, I told her how fantastic she looked like that. She then told me that she didn't like to show her teeth because her two bottom, center teeth are crooked. I was like  I peered really close and could barely tell.


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## GWARrior (Aug 27, 2008)

When friends are taking my picture, I like to make a funny face. That way, Im supposed to look goofy and I dont get pissed off when I look weird in the picture!


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## bexy (Aug 27, 2008)

cute_obese_girl said:


> I cannot even fathom what you could possibly find wrong with your jaw, or your skin for that matter. Not trying to single you out, Bexy, but I think this just goes to show that we all sometimes fixate on our "flaws" that no one else sees.
> 
> My mom usually just grins in her pictures. When I finally saw one where she smiled wide with her teeth showing, I told her how fantastic she looked like that. She then told me that she didn't like to show her teeth because her two bottom, center teeth are crooked. I was like  I peered really close and could barely tell.



thats cos the pics I post on here or on my site are very, very carefully chosen and I have a half tonne of make up on lol!!
I have my poor cuties head away deleting pics that he thinks are wonderful but have me near in tears cos all I can see are spots and a man jaw. Crazyness.


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## T_Devil (Aug 27, 2008)

GWARrior said:


> When friends are taking my picture, I like to make a funny face. That way, Im supposed to look goofy and I dont get pissed off when I look weird in the picture!



That's actually really good advice. I don't know, it's a psychological thing about about being photographed. I used to hate it. For me, between the ages of 15 to 23, there are *no* pictures of me. Not even school pics. I would skip school on picture day. My parents had no pictures of me to display. If I even saw a camera in a room, I'd leave the room and find somewhere else to go. 

I would literally hide to avoid being photographed.

But now, I don't mind it. I actually like having my picture taken. Someone pointed out to me that I'm good looking and that I photograph well. I had the choice to believe them or not to believe them. And you all know me, when I make a decision, I don't half ass it. If I believe in something, I believe in it with all of my heart.

Oh, there are pictures of me that I don't like. There are still pictures I take where I look just hideous. But I live with them. I don't look marvelous 100% of the time. But when I know I'm going out and I know pictures will be taken, I'll put on my best face and wear some of my favorite clothes. I'm doing it BIG! 'Cause when people see pictures of me (usually accompanied by my wife), I want them to see that I'm having fun. That I'm enjoying myself. That I'm no longer afraid of being caught in a single moment of time forever.

It helps to remember why a picture is being taken. If it's because you're having fun, have fun. If you look like a fool, it doesn't matter because at that moment when the camera caught you, you were having a pretty good time. Maybe even the time of your life. I have a few pictures like that, and I'm glad to hold onto them. Even if I do look like an idiot.

It's not me I see in the picture, it's the memory of when I had the picture taken and how happy I was at that time that I see. It's what I choose to see.


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## cute_obese_girl (Aug 27, 2008)

GWARrior said:


> When friends are taking my picture, I like to make a funny face. That way, Im supposed to look goofy and I dont get pissed off when I look weird in the picture!



My brother uses this tactic too. It's all in good fun, and it's fine most of the time, but sometimes it kind of makes me sad that I don't have one pic of him looking like him. You know what I mean?

They say people who are relaxed in front of the camera take better pictures than those who are tense. Maybe try taking a series of photos in a session where you make faces, do funny poses, and while you are relaxed and having fun take one serious one.


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## Tad (Aug 27, 2008)

I’ve pretty much disliked how I look in pictures forever. It might be one thing or another, but what I think it really comes down to is that how I actually look does not match my mental image of myself. So almost every picture shows someone that doesn’t look like how I think I look. 

It is not like I never see myself in a mirror, either. When we bought our house, the sliding closet doors in our bedroom were mirrored, and we always say some day we’ll replace them because they are tacky, but after ten years that hasn’t made it to the top of our priority list yet (the joys of old houses, the list of things to change is long!). So I pretty much can’t help but see my reflection every day. Not that I’m that crazy about it, but it still isn’t as shocking as pictures for some reason.

So I can assure you that the real me could not possibly look as old, dopey, pointy-skulled, squint-eyed, big-eared, short-legged, and generally football shaped as the person you might see in any pictures of me. So when that person shows up in my pictures, yah, a real shock. Fortunately for me, I suppose, my ego and delusions are both very strong and refused to be too disrupted by mere reality


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## alison.victoria (Aug 27, 2008)

Surlysomething said:


> I dress nicely, I take care of myself, great hygiene, nice tasteful makeup...I feel like I look great when I go out, then I see myself in pictures and it breaks my heart.
> 
> 
> It's such a struggle to love myself and when I see myself in pictures and I don't look the way I feel in my head, it's devastating. Does that make sense?



I know exaaaaaactly what you mean... This is why I try not to let anyone take pics of me when I feel really good because I don't want to lose that. :/


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## GWARrior (Aug 27, 2008)

cute_obese_girl said:


> My brother uses this tactic too. It's all in good fun, and it's fine most of the time, but sometimes it kind of makes me sad that I don't have one pic of him looking like him. You know what I mean?
> 
> They say people who are relaxed in front of the camera take better pictures than those who are tense. Maybe try taking a series of photos in a session where you make faces, do funny poses, and while you are relaxed and having fun take one serious one.




I try not to look like a goof in every picture. But I have noticed that if my friends take a series of pictures when we're all being goofy, the few shots of me not making a funny face look pretty decent. People definitly photograph better when they're relaxed. 

If you're getting your picture taken and all you can think is "OMG Im gonna look sooo bad!!", it shows on your face. So I try not to think about the camer, and just focus on whats going on.

And if I find a particularly crappy pic of me, I just say I was drunk/stoned!


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## cute_obese_girl (Aug 27, 2008)

GWARrior said:


> I try not to look like a goof in every picture. But I have noticed that if my friends take a series of pictures when we're all being goofy, the few shots of me not making a funny face look pretty decent. People definitly photograph better when they're relaxed.
> 
> If you're getting your picture taken and all you can think is "OMG Im gonna look sooo bad!!", it shows on your face. So I try not to think about the camer, and just focus on whats going on.
> 
> And if I find a particularly crappy pic of me, I just say I was drunk/stoned!



Ahh, good to hear you do non-goofy pics too. The drunk/stoned excuse is a good one.


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## Surlysomething (Aug 27, 2008)

Thank you all so much for your points of view.

I'm going to try and implement some into my life for sure. 


I would have to say i'm a lot better about having my picture TAKEN at least. Like T Devil there are years where i'm 'missing' because I refused to have my picture taken. And now it really bothers me that I lost so many memories.

Live and learn!


PS: You guys rock. :wubu:


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## MickeyFFA (Aug 27, 2008)

I know exactly what you mean about photos looking different than the way you actually percieve yourself. For example, even right now I'm looking down at my legs and thinking "gee, they really arent that big" but ten minutes ago a friend of mine posted a photo of me and her sitting next to each other and I was like "OMG, my thighs are HUGE". It doesn't help that she also weights about 50 pounds less than me, which is what happens in the majority of my photos because all my friends are very skinny people. I know if I take a picture of just me I'm pretty happy with it, but if one of those tiny people are in it I just look enormous . 

I love pictures though, and have learned it's better to just accept that how you look on film isn't how you look in real life. I've had a lot of people tell me I'm photogenic and honestly, I couldn't think they're more wrong. My face always looked squished, my eyes are too small, my chin is too round, and my teeth seem to resemble a rabbit much more than I would like. Yet these are the pictures that people are like "omg, you look great." It's all about perception.

Besides, when you look back at all these pictures 5 years from now you're going to want to be in them. The whole point of photographs are to document something special, and really how special would it be if all your friends are there smiling without you?


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## thatgirl08 (Aug 28, 2008)

I always feel like I look different in pictures as well. A lot of people tell me I'm photogenic but I always feel like I look TERRIBLE in pictures, even when I think I look great in real life. If I'm taking a picture of myself for something I tend to use the like super-Myspacey-angled pictures because I just like them better. However, my friends enjoy taking pictures of me when I'm not looking and putting them on Facebook.  Seeing bad pictures of me used to bother me a lot, and I used to avoid being in pictures at all but now I just try to remind myself that EVERYONE looks bad sometimes in pictures. I'd rather take a picture, even if I feel like I don't look the best, and document a moment then miss out on taking a picture of an important event or something.


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## DeerVictory (Aug 28, 2008)

I've never looked at candid pictures, or pictures in general, of other people and thought, "Wow, that's an awkward angle", "Look how big her thighs look." or "I can't believe that's how she looks in real life." But those are the things I say to myself when I see a candid picture of myself. That's why I often don't let other people take pictures of me. I can't even look at pictures of myself when I was young without feeling embarassed. But I know that people, especially here, won't be looking at my pictures and judging the way my arms look or my awkward stance. I guess all of us have some confidence issues that we need to work on. 

(I've seen video footage of myself, and it didn't bother me a bit. I thought I was kind of cute, in fact. :wubu: )


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## abel (Jun 10, 2009)

I find I tend to look better in photos than I do in the mirror.

This sometimes makes me worried that I possibly look better in the mirror than I do in person!


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## Tau (Jun 10, 2009)

The cure to that is to take hundreds of pictures of yourself. When i was younger i hated having pictures taking - not cos i was fat but because i was always the darkest girl in the room. I studied television in varsity and we did a documentary and i was its narrator and the interviewer so i was in almost every shot - that was the best thing that could have happened for me. I saw and heard myself constantly, watched myself move and, not to be too vain, was pretty darned impressed with what i saw LOL! Now I'm a total camera whore - where there's a camera there will be me  Also, just a suggestion, if you know somebody who can take fairly decent pics do a mini shoot with them wearing make up and with gorgeous lighting and then really look at the results. I guarantee you'll be completely in love with the way you look by the end of it.


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