# Question for Feedees, M/F



## LillyBBBW (May 22, 2010)

How do you feel about having a partner who wants you to get fatter? It's one thing to want to gain yourself, to have goals or fantasies. It's another when someone is sharing that interest with you. It can be a wonderful thing to experience together with a partner who will enjoy it as much as you do. For others I suppose it may be a negative thing. Similar to someone who wants to lose weight and their partner wants the same and is being overly enthusiastic and pushy. It can be stressful. What are your thoughts and experiences on this?

Eh, I won't be mean. I guess feeders can speak up here too if they want.


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## LoveBHMS (May 22, 2010)

Feeder speaking.

At least for me, the whole experience is not hot at all unless the guy wants to gain. My take on fetish behaviour is it's necessarily about role play. You have a feeder and a feedee. if this makes sense, i am NOT a feeder without a feedee. It's not exciting for me to watch a man get bigger if he's not into it. If a partner does not want to gain weight, i'm not turned on.

If a man wants to lose weight for any reason, I assume he has health, mobility, or emotional issues. I assume he is at a size that makes him unhappy and where he can not do what he wants to do. An unhappy fat guy is not a turnon. I can only be satisfied if my partner is into gaining, wants to gain, and we get mutual satisfaction from it.


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## KHayes666 (May 22, 2010)

I agree with Loves. I'm not into it unless my counterpart is happy, somewhat healthy and WANTS to do it. 

I don't speak for anyone but myself but I will say that I try to take as good care as possible when I'm with someone. If someone's not into it, has health issues or would not be happy with the end result then I never bring the subject up with that person.


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## LillyBBBW (May 24, 2010)

Good grief. Must every post I make on this board die a horrible death untouched? Unloved? Shunned? Ignored by everyone except close personal friends and blood relatives?


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## marlowegarp (May 24, 2010)

Love pretty much covered anything I would've said.


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## LillyBBBW (May 24, 2010)

I think I need to clarify a little. This isn't about someone who doesn't want to gain. It's like you wake up one day and say, "Yay! I gained 10 pounds!" You're thrilled but when you tell your partner about it the partner says, "Oh good. Just wait till you get to ________ pounds, then it will be great." Maybe not exactly like that, I know I'm not describing it well. I had a discussion with someone who feels her partner is always pushing and not encouraging. He's never satisfied which is a joykill. She hardly has a chance to enjoy herself and it's not quite the shared excitement she thought it would be. To me it looks like she needs to straighten him out with a big stick but I'm curious as to how others may feel about this. I wondered if anyone else ever experienced anything like this and if they are thumbs up or thumbs down on that kind of encouragement. Some people might like this kind of thing. Is it Domish or dickish in your opionion? Yes, feeders can answer too.


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## LoveBHMS (May 24, 2010)

i hate to repeat myself, but once again it's really about the mutual activity and mindsets. 

I've been frustrated when telling a partner "you look hot" and having had him say "oh, but dont' you want me to get fatter?". To me, his initial gain was hot and i wanted to express it, but to him his initial gain was a starting point and he wanted to be told "that looks great and i cant' wait till you gain another ten pounds." With fetishism, _so much_ of it was worked out in your head before you even met the partner. I think, honestly, because most fetishists have in their head _such_ specific scenarios, you want that perfectly replicated when you have a partner.

All feeders want different types of encouragement. Some want you to take them out and order for them, some dont. Some want hand feeding and some don't. Some want you to tie them up and funnel feed them and some want a quasi romantic encouragement along the lines of 'oh wow...you look so hot...mmmm...' followed by a gentle suggestion of a trip to Jack in the Box.

I really can't say anyone is being a 'dick' for expressing what turns him or her on. If you would be turned on by a partner gaining more and saying so, doesn't make you a dick. If your partner is a hard core sub, s/he may INSIST you express a need for more gaining.

Very convoluted answer, but comes down to it's mostly about communication.


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## growingman (May 24, 2010)

Most of the relationships I have had have been with non FFAs/FFeeders and they were romantic, sexy, and wonderful for the most part. The whole picture is important when considering a relationship, but when considering only the feederism aspects for me some things are true. 
But I am not with anyone just now and I have only had a few relationships with ffeeders. I loved every minute of the attention and and encouragement. I think I really liked their passion and interest in me. Feederism gives them a kind of focus to expresss their feelings. I really enjoyed being able to please my ffeeder/gf. The passion the ffeeder/gf shows is what turns me on. I love to try new things and explore too. I think I could have any kind of relationship with the right woman whether it is encouragement, dom/sub, or even with a tube although I have to say I enjoy the taste of food so that might be low on my list. It is really important for her to be able to tell me what she wants IMO so we can find a way to fulfill both of our fantasies and interests.


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## chicken legs (May 25, 2010)

I think gaining weight is just like losing weight. Some guys always want you to lose more weight because they think its hotter and then you have guys that want you to gain a ton of weight....either way its really annoying. Nothing dries up the nether regions like a pushy, picky, nit picking, partner who's constantly making statements on how you should look.


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## GordoNegro (May 25, 2010)

As a mutual gainer, it just fuels the fire in my case.
The added attention, affection, encouragementjust provides such a strong drive and escape.
Working together, achieving goals/milestones is just a beautiful thing.


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## Tad (May 25, 2010)

I think I'd like it, but I can imagine that it could somehow take some of the thrill out it, in that it would no longer be a personal, secret, sort of thing? Anyway, no actual experience with a feeder/encourager, so can't compare and contrast.


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## Weeze (May 25, 2010)

At first, i was confused by the opening post... like I thought you were talking about mutual gaining? Which I'm, ftr, not into. 
But are you talking about being into it yourself, and having like, an overly enthusiastic partner?


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## kristineirl (May 25, 2010)

GordoNegro said:


> As a mutual gainer, it just fuels the fire in my case.
> The added attention, affection, encouragement just provides such a strong drive and escape.
> Working together, achieving goals/milestones is just a beautiful thing.



agreed, having someone to be there to high five you or to just kiss your nose when there's a cause to celebrate is wonderful. 

at the same time, being over-enthusiastic and not appreciating what progress has been made and instead only looking forward to what is to come is a major turn off and is actually kind of creepy.


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## LillyBBBW (May 25, 2010)

Weeze said:


> At first, i was confused by the opening post... like I thought you were talking about mutual gaining? Which I'm, ftr, not into.
> But are you talking about being into it yourself, and having like, an overly enthusiastic partner?



Yes, that's what I meant.



kristineirl said:


> agreed, having someone to be there to high five you or to just kiss your nose when there's a cause to celebrate is wonderful.
> 
> at the same time, being over-enthusiastic and not appreciating what progress has been made and instead only looking forward to what is to come is a major turn off and is actually kind of creepy.



Exactly. I feel the same way. I wondered if it was just me though. I had the urge to tell my friend that she should chill her boyfriend out and tell him he's got no game. Then I wondered if maybe that isn't completely true.


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## Russ2d (May 25, 2010)

Well, 

I'm thinking sometimes what happens is that feeder FAs are so oppressed that when they finally find someone who truly makes them happy they tend to come on a little strong, perhaps in part for fear of losing what they've finally found combined with well, just being inexperienced.


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## thatgirl08 (May 27, 2010)

I've never been in a relationship where I was explicitly attempting to gain weight. I've been in a relationship with a feeder where the gain was somewhat expected, and happened but it wasn't structured at all.. no goals, no "weigh ins," etc. I made it that way on purpose for this reason. I don't like the idea of the person I'm with not appreciating how I currently look, whether it's because they want me to gain or lose, and to me focusing always on the future is just that.. like you look good now but you'd look a billion times better if you gained/lost _____ pounds. That just doesn't fly with me. Plus, I honestly can get off just fine without gaining a single pound, so I don't know.. I wish I could find a feeder that was the same way.. act it out, or whatever.. it's honestly a huge turn off to constantly be encouraged encouraged encouraged.


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## Judge_Dre (Jun 1, 2010)

I"m a thin guy an dI never been asked to gain weight, but in college, I developed a beer belly from drinking alot and some girls really liked it. So when I was with them, I made no real effort to lose it. 

It was fun for a while to have girl spat my belly and tell me how sexy it was, but I got tired of the belly a year ago and I've seen lost 25 pounds. I haven't any complaints from the girls that I date now. In fact, lately I've been meeting girls who like rather thin men and that motivates me to stay as thin as I can. Being a man and not a BBW/feedee, my experience isn't similar to what you ladies go through, but I think there's nothing wrong with motivating yourself to gain a certain figure to attract others. If that body type make you feel uncomfortable than you shouldn't gain to get fatter or work out if your trying to be thinner.


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## Mack27 (Jun 6, 2010)

I've primarily got feeder tendencies but I have secondary fantasies about being fattened myself. Those fantasies almost always involve being fattened against my will or initial desires. I think there are feedees out there into that on a fetish if not genuine level. On the flip side any fattening can be sexy but its way sexier if she's into it.


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## the hanging belly (Jun 6, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> How do you feel about having a partner who wants you to get fatter? It's one thing to want to gain yourself, to have goals or fantasies. It's another when someone is sharing that interest with you. It can be a wonderful thing to experience together with a partner who will enjoy it as much as you do. For others I suppose it may be a negative thing. Similar to someone who wants to lose weight and their partner wants the same and is being overly enthusiastic and pushy. It can be stressful. What are your thoughts and experiences on this?
> 
> Eh, I won't be mean. I guess feeders can speak up here too if they want.



Personally I like a partner who supports me. If I want to gain, its up to them whether they want to assist me, but if I want to lose weight I don't exactly want them shoving food down my throat. It's hard because some days I'm not entirely sure whether I want to gain or not, and I'd like someone who understands this. What I do like however is a man who can make feeding a very sensual experience, that might be nothing more than feeding me a single chocolate bar, but so long as it's hot i'm happy


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## badassdebate (Mar 9, 2011)

Feedee

I love that the man I am with wants me to get fatter (600+ if I am agreeable) so I can feel comfortable with endulging in my gaining desires with as much passion and gusto as I want, knowing if I do get to 600+lbs I won't be too big lol (as some men like bbw and some ssbbw and some ussbbw)...with that being said, I would not be able to be with someone who ONLY wanted me to gain...my Feeder would be fine if I stayed this weight, would he like me fatter? Yes, but I don't have to be, with his encouragment I know I can be if I choose to be, which at this point my goal is 420lbs (essentially doubling my current weight) but if I wanted to stop I could.....I wouldn't be nearly as aroused by eating and gaining if he wasn't as into it as was neutral to my gaining, my FA would have to be a feeder who respected my personal boundries, I am very lucky to have found that:wubu:


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## rubenesquehunny (Mar 11, 2011)

I find it very erotic to be with a person who supports my desire to gain:eat1: and wants it as well!! Not push beyond my personal limits, but someone who loves how much bigger my body is becoming!!:happy:


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## billm12 (Sep 19, 2022)

LillyBBBW said:


> How do you feel about having a partner who wants you to get fatter? It's one thing to want to gain yourself, to have goals or fantasies. It's another when someone is sharing that interest with you. It can be a wonderful thing to experience together with a partner who will enjoy it as much as you do. For others I suppose it may be a negative thing. Similar to someone who wants to lose weight and their partner wants the same and is being overly enthusiastic and pushy. It can be stressful. What are your thoughts and experiences on this?
> 
> Eh, I won't be mean. I guess feeders can speak up here too if they want.


I am lucky enough to be married to a woman who wants to feed me fatter. I love giving her control of my weight and that she may double my starting weight when we married, 275 pounds. I am currently 330 pounds and my appetite is growing.
We are both very happy and I am unembarrassed by my growing waist and sex life is wonderful.


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## fatluvinguy (Sep 23, 2022)

LillyBBBW said:


> How do you feel about having a partner who wants you to get fatter? It's one thing to want to gain yourself, to have goals or fantasies. It's another when someone is sharing that interest with you. It can be a wonderful thing to experience together with a partner who will enjoy it as much as you do. For others I suppose it may be a negative thing. Similar to someone who wants to lose weight and their partner wants the same and is being overly enthusiastic and pushy. It can be stressful. What are your thoughts and experiences on this?
> 
> Eh, I won't be mean. I guess feeders can speak up here too if they want.
> 
> ...





LillyBBBW said:


> How do you feel about having a partner who wants you to get fatter? It's one thing to want to gain yourself, to have goals or fantasies. It's another when someone is sharing that interest with you. It can be a wonderful thing to experience together with a partner who will enjoy it as much as you do. For others I suppose it may be a negative thing. Similar to someone who wants to lose weight and their partner wants the same and is being overly enthusiastic and pushy. It can be stressful. What are your thoughts and experiences on this?
> 
> Eh, I won't be mean. I guess feeders can speak up here too if they want.


Seems to me that boundaries have to be established in that part of the relationship. It won't work if both partners aren't on the same page. The last thing you want to do is make your partner uncomfortable so communication is everything.


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