# What do you love most about being an FFA?



## rabbitislove (Sep 5, 2016)

I have my list, but want to hear from you guys first (Im still such a Canadian!)
What do you think is the best, most fun, most heartwarming part of being an 
FFA? 

And for the BHMs, what do you think is the best part of experiencing an FFA? What do you like most about being a BHM?


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## dwesterny (Sep 5, 2016)

rabbitislove said:


> And for the BHMs, what do you think is the best part of experiencing an FFA? What do you like most about being a BHM?



I like when parts or aspects of myself that are normally deemed unattractive/embarrassing end up being the thing that turns an FFA on a lot .

"Oh your upper arms are so fat"
"I like the way your moobs continue around into under arm rolls."

I find it a huge turn on having the parts of myself I would always cover and hide sexualized and objectified. It's insanely hot to go from always hiding your belly to having it be adored.

I was always massively (heh) self-conscious about my upper arm fat. I wouldn't wear short sleeves shirts because it hangs down over my elbow and out of the sleeve. Having it genuinely complimented and desired by more than one woman was surreal and amazing.


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## agouderia (Sep 5, 2016)

dwesterny said:


> I was always massively (heh) self-conscious about my upper arm fat. I wouldn't wear short sleeves shirts because it hangs down over my elbow and out of the sleeve. Having it genuinely complimented and desired by more than one woman was surreal and amazing.



Reading this it once more struck me that one of the wonderful things about being an FFA is the extent of diversity it offers. How much fat and the variations in size and positioning of fat deposits literally add to the - rather basic - layout of the human anatomy. 
Every fat body offers not only more, but always something different and unique to discover and explore. 

So far upper arm fat was something I had only been aware of on women - with mixed observations. Sometimes wonderfully fluffy, or impressively bulging - sometimes disproportionate and less appealing. 

I've never consciously seen upper arm fat hanging over a man's elbow out of a shirt - but just reading that immediately fascinated me and made my imagination go hay-wire. Although I don't even know whether I'd like it (I definitely have a thing for thick ham upper arms and big wrists on a SS/BHM) - I totally want to get to know the phenomenon, see it in action, maybe touch it. Like any good new discovery.


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## dwesterny (Sep 5, 2016)

agouderia said:


> Reading this it once more struck me that one of the wonderful things about being an FFA is the extent of diversity it offers. How much fat and the variations in size and positioning of fat deposits literally add to the - rather basic - layout of the human anatomy.
> Every fat body offers not only more, but always something different and unique to discover and explore.
> 
> So far upper arm fat was something I had only been aware of on women - with mixed observations. Sometimes wonderfully fluffy, or impressively bulging - sometimes disproportionate and less appealing.
> ...



World's best pillow. For science. 

View attachment IMG_20160905_174348.jpg


View attachment IMG_20160905_174800.jpg


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## Cors (Sep 5, 2016)

Public groping of fat bits (even moobs) isn't considered _that_ indecent compared to say, grabbing a woman's breasts. :wubu:

It is also pretty cool encountering other F/FAs in the wild. When you think you are discreetly fondling your partner's stomach and some random girl gives you this knowing look and a big smile.


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## loopytheone (Sep 6, 2016)

dwesterny said:


> World's best pillow. For science.



Currently the best part of being an FFA is getting to oggle Dwes's adorable arms. :wubu:


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## Xyantha Reborn (Sep 7, 2016)

This is explicit to me;

Being able to own my own sexuality and achieve orgasm. So many women can't do either. The fact that I know what I like and can get it - and I've never really gotten more than a sort of "whatever floats your boat" response to anyone who i have told.


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## bigmac (Sep 8, 2016)

rabbitislove said:


> ...
> 
> And for the BHMs, what do you think is the best part of experiencing an FFA? What do you like most about being a BHM?



I don't really like being a BHM (generally don't feel very handsome) but I do like providing nice soft spot for a FFA (or at least a lady who doesn't mind big guys) to snuggle into.


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## extra_fat_guy (Sep 8, 2016)

There are several things that are great about being with an FFA. Not having to hear I am attracted to you despite your weight and size. Getting a belly rub from a woman that actually wants to rub your belly. No talk about diets unless it is health related. Being made to feel sexy by a look or a simple touch. 

The things I like about being an BHM are eating what I want when I want. Being bigger than other people. Size difference has always been a turn on for me. Staying warm in the winter. Being able to play my belly like a drum when nobody is around.


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## DianaSSBBW (Sep 8, 2016)

bigmac said:


> I don't really like being a BHM (generally don't feel very handsome) but I do like providing nice soft spot for a FFA (or at least a lady who doesn't mind big guys) to snuggle into.



After I read this post...I was wondering "What makes a guy handsome?" So I did a Google search and here is some of the answers that I found:

*What makes a guy handsome?*
_"beauty is in the eye of the beholder. i know it's a cliche saying, and it probably sucks to hear, but it is very true. some girls like guys with defined jaw-lines and muscular bodies. some girls like men who are "designed more for comfort than speed", as my friend puts it. some like their guys skinny, some fatter, some really don't even care about appearance and judge completely on personality."
_
I like this answer

Somebody else said:
_The personality of a man and how he holds himself is what makes him handsome. I imagine a handsome man to be gentle, smile and laugh alot and be very soft and caring and quiet. Thinking of a loud mouth with his jeans halfway down his **** just doesnt sound handsome to me. Just my oppinion though._

I love all the ones that "Cosmo" has, and *love the fact that not one is size related!*
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a5700/men-instantly-hot/

 o by the way... not flirting. I read the book.


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## loopytheone (Sep 9, 2016)

DianaSSBBW said:


> ....
> 
> I love all the ones that "Cosmo" has, and love the fact that not one is size related!



Heh, I think this goes to prove that point you were making about everybody liking something different, because pretty much none of those things on that list are even remotely attractive to me.


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## agouderia (Sep 9, 2016)

loopytheone said:


> Heh, I think this goes to prove that point you were making about everybody liking something different, because pretty much none of those things on that list are even remotely attractive to me.



Loopy - in this case I simply don't believe you!

Are you honestly trying to convince me you don't like it if a man likes your pets, is good with a kitten and has a dog???? 

Then I must have been misreading your posts for years!




DianaSSBBW said:


> I love all the ones that "Cosmo" has, and *love the fact that not one is size related!*
> http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a5700/men-instantly-hot/



Hmm - some of these are not necessarily sexy, just good manners and in consequence instant positive.

But I admit that the forearms and voice are high on my personal list too. Especially a deep, rich, articulated voice (not Barry White style) can almost make me come in my panties.


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## loopytheone (Sep 9, 2016)

agouderia said:


> Loopy - in this case I simply don't believe you!
> 
> Are you honestly trying to convince me you don't like it if a man likes your pets, is good with a kitten and has a dog????
> 
> Then I must have been misreading your posts for years!



Haha, okay, you got me there! It is more that I require my friends to be good with my animals, so them being good with my pets is more of a neutral/requirement than something I like/find attractive. If they don't like my animals I'm not interested in them, full stop. 

As much as anything, I expect them to love my animals because they love me. My other half isn't really into small animals but he was very worried/concerned about my guinea pigs being ill, not because he cared about them but because he cares about me and I love them. 

Also, on the topic of things we do find attractive about men/people... as much as it is a cliche, sense of humour matters a lot to me. Like, my boyfriend is a little ball of wit and sarcasm and terrible puns and that is one of the things that first attracted me to him as a person, many years ago.


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## ashblonde (Sep 9, 2016)

I know I keep myself confined to the fiction areas of this forum, but this topic is something I really connect to, so when I read the question (great post rabbitislove, btw), I immediately thought of what Xyantha is alluding to above.

I wouldn't make this generalization for every FA/FFA (anecdotal and all that), but when comparing notes with FFAs vs non-FFAs, I sure feel like I'm more sexually motivated than perhaps is seen on average. I don't mean like pathological nympho style, but just that it feels really special to be that directly wired into sex and related accoutrements by a very intense, tactical/visual point of attraction.

I've had this conversation with my FFA friends several times (which related to this topic, ended up being another side reward for being an FFA - a couple of awesome women I met online who have become besties) about how we completely agree that the deeply sexual side of our attraction feels like a real differentiator. It's why I don't view the term 'fetish' in a negative light as I identify with the term, but its never kept me from loving the man in my life from the inside out.

All this, and fat guys are just plain awesome dudes - totally unscientific yet somehow, universally true


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## loopytheone (Sep 10, 2016)

I do think it is interesting that a couple of people have mentioned their being an FFA being linked with a higher sex drive/motivation. I'm very much an FFA but also asexual so those two things aren't linked at all for me, personally.


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## agouderia (Sep 11, 2016)

I don't know whether FFA actually have a physiologically higher sex drive or sexual motivation than non-FFAs have.

What definitely is the case though is that FFA, who know that this is their sexual preference and identify as such, definitely have a much greater sexual awareness.
And logically you can make much better and much more use of something you're aware of.

After half of century of Women's Lib and the sexual revolution imo female sexuality is still largely marginalized, remains an annex to the male perception of sex. Primordial as it maybe, this boils down to the non-penetrative aspect of sex not receiving full recognition.

Even today girls in growing up are not actively encouraged to explore their sexuality; the focus at best is how you can get a man to consider your sexual needs as a woman. But it's never about actively and autonomously defining them, exploring your sexual triggers and pursuing their development.

FFAs - because they have had to overcome the negative social bias associated with their preference, put the shame and taboo aspect associated with sex behind them - have already tread this path and simply know much better where they stand sexually, what they want and need, and have learned to express this.


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## Cors (Sep 15, 2016)

The being in touch with your sexuality part makes a lot of sense to me. I do feel like I am much more visual and tactile than many of my non-FFA female friends, and have way more spontaneous (as opposed to responsive) desire when in a relationship with a big guy/girl.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Sep 15, 2016)

Same.

It's not that being an FFA is linked with sex in a linear way, it is more of a connection.

Like knowing i love steak, so i go to steakhouses, as opposed to frequenting vegan places. I know what i want, where to get it, snd am not ashamed for loving it. It isn't that i love steak therefore am a steak. 

Although I am one hawt piece of meat


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## loopytheone (Sep 15, 2016)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> Same.
> 
> It's not that being an FFA is linked with sex in a linear way, it is more of a connection.
> 
> ...



.....I suppose by this metaphor, that makes me a person who knows what she wants but never gets hungry?


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## Xyantha Reborn (Sep 15, 2016)

More like already satiated?

(Cuz i know how much you love food  )


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## loopytheone (Sep 16, 2016)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> More like already satiated?
> 
> (Cuz i know how much you love food  )



Bwahahaa! True, true!


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## Cors (Sep 16, 2016)

OH. Nobody else has mentioned this yet, but I love the fat pad on a bigger person's mons pubis! I'm sure fellow FFAs know what I mean.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Sep 16, 2016)

Lol my hubby calls it the "snow suit"


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## rabbitislove (Sep 16, 2016)

The FUPA! I guess it could also be the FFA launchpad 

I think I love the tactile sensation of BHMs. Also, being an FFA, I feel like Im in on this secret that isnt well known or like I found a beautiful hidden picture. Appreciating what is under appreciated and getting to enjoy it


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## Cors (Sep 17, 2016)

Haha, those names! NSFW talk, my friend was telling me how much she is loving her new We-Vibe and I was like well I don't need that, my boyfriend has an in-built one. 

It feels pretty damn special being able to convince a self-conscious BHM that you love his body, and that you are not the only one who does! It is an honour to be part of his self-acceptance journey and oh the rewards when you have a happy confident partner who knows how to tease.


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## ODFFA (Sep 17, 2016)

rabbitislove said:


> I think I love the tactile sensation of BHMs. Also, being an FFA, I feel like Im in on this secret that isnt well known or like I found a beautiful hidden picture. Appreciating what is under appreciated and getting to enjoy it





Cors said:


> It feels pretty damn special being able to convince a self-conscious BHM that you love his body, and that you are not the only one who does! It is an honour to be part of his self-acceptance journey and oh the rewards when you have a happy confident partner who knows how to tease.



This is pretty much the crux of what I was going to say. It has to be my favourite aspect of FFA-ness.

In my experience, coming out to other people has been a fun bonus side-effect, too. I've never gotten an outright negative reaction, only the odd incredulous one. And I honestly enjoy those, in a subversively cheeky, "Ahaha your brain cells are short circuiting, do you need to sit down" kind of way. And I've come across some lovely non-FA solidarity as well :happy:


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## rabbitislove (Sep 17, 2016)

I agree OD. Most people in my adult life Ive talked to have been pretty cool about it. Ive explained my little piece of Dims as a place "the equivalent of a website for gay bear lovers for straight women" and people have just been like "Oh right on, thats what you're into" One of my cousins told me about a decade ago that "big guys need love too"


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## DianaSSBBW (Sep 19, 2016)

Cors said:


> It feels pretty damn special being able to convince a self-conscious BHM that you love his body, and that you are not the only one who does! It is an honor to be part of his self-acceptance journey and oh the rewards when you have a happy confident partner who knows how to tease.



Really like your statement and all so true. Sometimes the convincing part is difficult because of past relationships both BBW and BHM have endured. 

Loved using his chest as a pillow and listening to his heart beat.


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## DianaSSBBW (Sep 19, 2016)

rabbitislove said:


> that "big guys need love too"



Should be shouted from all roof tops!


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