# Question for FA's



## moniquessbbw (Jan 21, 2012)

Last night I was on the phone with a male friend of mine. We have been friends for almost 10years. Very nice guy and has a love for all bbws and ssbbws. All he ever does is sing and shout out positive stuff about us. I asked him how bbw lovers felt about all the extra skin after someone has lost a lot of weight. I have rolls on top of rolls when I am naked. I was never self-conscious when I was 588. Now that I am smaller I still cant get use to my new body. I dont want to date an FA that is into feeding and gaining. Is it possible to find an FA who will love me for me as a person and not my fat? The fat is just a bonus for the FA. I want more out of a relationship than lust for my rolls. How do I find a happy medium?


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## Fat Brian (Jan 21, 2012)

It really just depends on the person. FAness expresses itself in so many different ways, you would need to be very clear about you expect and will not tolerate from a partner.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Jan 21, 2012)

Isn't this a problem for every beautiful woman: how to find someone who will love her for who she is, and not just for how she looks? Having followed your thread on the WLS forum, I know that you are smart, courageous, and that you have a sense of humor that keeps you going when the feces hit the fan; how do you find a man who will appreciate those things? Your best bet is probably to play the field, be slow to commit, and make the guys prove themselves by the way they treat you. As Eugene "Big Daddy" Lipscomb once said, when asked about his phenomenal ability to sack quarterbacks, "I just grab me an armful of players and shuck through them until I find the one with the ball." Or, in your case, the one who's on the ball. Good luck.


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## chicken legs (Jan 23, 2012)

What was your friends answer? 

I also agree with Dr. Feelgood and I'm also doing a price check on these myself...












because it really doesn't matter if you are the bbw/bhm or the fa/ffa, you still got to feel the person out and realize what you really want.


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## moniquessbbw (Jan 23, 2012)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> Isn't this a problem for every beautiful woman: how to find someone who will love her for who she is, and not just for how she looks? Having followed your thread on the WLS forum, I know that you are smart, courageous, and that you have a sense of humor that keeps you going when the feces hit the fan; how do you find a man who will appreciate those things? Your best bet is probably to play the field, be slow to commit, and make the guys prove themselves by the way they treat you. As Eugene "Big Daddy" Lipscomb once said, when asked about his phenomenal ability to sack quarterbacks, "I just grab me an armful of players and shuck through them until I find the one with the ball." Or, in your case, the one who's on the ball. Good luck.



Dr Feelgood that was a brillant answer. I will shop around till I find the right guy. I am just tired of being let down. I am just too much woman for some men..lol no pun intended. My mail friend said just stop looking which I have not even spoke to a guy since my last relationship. I only seem to find men who just want to have fun. I want more out of life than just a good time Charlie.


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## bigmac (Jan 23, 2012)

moniquessbbw said:


> ...
> 
> Is it possible to find an FA who will love me for me as a person and not my fat? The fat is just a bonus for the FA. I want more out of a relationship than lust for my rolls. How do I find a happy medium?



In this respect I don't think fat people are situated any different than thin. Like you lots of thin girls _want more out of a relationship than lust for (insert body part or characteristic)._


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## Webmaster (Jan 23, 2012)

moniquessbbw said:


> Last night I was on the phone with a male friend of mine. We have been friends for almost 10years. Very nice guy and has a love for all bbws and ssbbws. All he ever does is sing and shout out positive stuff about us. I asked him how bbw lovers felt about all the extra skin after someone has lost a lot of weight. I have rolls on top of rolls when I am naked. I was never self-conscious when I was 588. Now that I am smaller I still cant get use to my new body. I dont want to date an FA that is into feeding and gaining. Is it possible to find an FA who will love me for me as a person and not my fat? The fat is just a bonus for the FA. I want more out of a relationship than lust for my rolls. How do I find a happy medium?



Almost everyone enjoys sexuality, and sexuality fuels our imagination. However, if sexual attraction is all there is, there really cannot be a real relationship. For a relationship to really click, one must genuinely like the other person, get along, admire and respect one another, and just generally appreciate who and what the other person is. That includes kindness, tenderness, shared interests, compatible habits, likes and dislikes, and just that certain overall appeal that draws us to a person, or not. As far as I am concerned, while the original attraction to a person is often sexual, things simply cannot progress from there if that certain something isn't there. 

The inherent pitfall of a place like Dimensions is that the initial focus is on size. While that can be a starting point, unless two people have more in common than size and an interest in it, that's likely also where it ends. I often see women whose avatars and pictures very openly flaunt their size. Nothing wrong with that, but there then should be no surprise if those who show interest do so primarily based on what they see in those avatars and pics, at least initially.

Unfortunately, the whole thing is a bit of a catch-22: people seek out places where they are most likely to find admirers or those they admire. The art of the deal then becomes to let your personality shine and gently guide and attract the interested person past the initial focus and attraction, and to the real you.


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## moniquessbbw (Feb 10, 2012)

Conrad that was poetic and so very true.



Webmaster said:


> Almost everyone enjoys sexuality, and sexuality fuels our imagination. However, if sexual attraction is all there is, there really cannot be a real relationship. For a relationship to really click, one must genuinely like the other person, get along, admire and respect one another, and just generally appreciate who and what the other person is. That includes kindness, tenderness, shared interests, compatible habits, likes and dislikes, and just that certain overall appeal that draws us to a person, or not. As far as I am concerned, while the original attraction to a person is often sexual, things simply cannot progress from there if that certain something isn't there.
> 
> The inherent pitfall of a place like Dimensions is that the initial focus is on size. While that can be a starting point, unless two people have more in common than size and an interest in it, that's likely also where it ends. I often see women whose avatars and pictures very openly flaunt their size. Nothing wrong with that, but there then should be no surprise if those who show interest do so primarily based on what they see in those avatars and pics, at least initially.
> 
> Unfortunately, the whole thing is a bit of a catch-22: people seek out places where they are most likely to find admirers or those they admire. The art of the deal then becomes to let your personality shine and gently guide and attract the interested person past the initial focus and attraction, and to the real you.


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## natepogue (Feb 15, 2012)

Why can't a guys love for your body + weight make him love you for more than that? To me, a girls body is important and me enjoying her weight is too, and anything else (personality especially) is just an incredible bonus. That doesn't cheapen anything in my book. Then again I tend to think with my penis but why can't my penis acknowledge a good girl via sexual attraction?


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## SuperBatAquaGreenFlash (Feb 15, 2012)

Considering that we are at some point in the future going to abandon organic humanoid bodies for artificial, undying forums, loving one for his or her body and his or her body alone is love misplaced. There is nothing wrong with admiring physical traits, of course--I would not have signed up for this website if I wasn't a fat admirer myself--but the person--the mind--is what matters most, and will be the _only_ thing that matters _after_ we achieve posthumanity and _before_ we go hive mind. Being physically attractive in today's current society is icing on the cake, and a useful tool for _initial_ bonding; or, at least, that's how it should be.


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## Fat Brian (Feb 15, 2012)

SuperBatAquaGreenFlash said:


> Considering that we are at some point in the future going to abandon organic humanoid bodies for artificial, undying forums, loving one for his or her body and his or her body alone is love misplaced. There is nothing wrong with admiring physical traits, of course--I would not have signed up for this website if I wasn't a fat admirer myself--but the person--the mind--is what matters most, and will be the _only_ thing that matters _after_ we achieve posthumanity and _before_ we go hive mind. Being physically attractive in today's current society is icing on the cake, and a useful tool for _initial_ bonding; or, at least, that's how it should be.


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## SuperBatAquaGreenFlash (Feb 15, 2012)




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## natepogue (Feb 15, 2012)

So if at some point we only communicate via personality/mind, then my entire sexuality will be destroyed and useless. 



Whelp, time to stand against the change!


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## penguin (Feb 15, 2012)

SuperBatAquaGreenFlash said:


> Considering that we are at some point in the future going to abandon organic humanoid bodies for artificial, undying forums, loving one for his or her body and his or her body alone is love misplaced. There is nothing wrong with admiring physical traits, of course--I would not have signed up for this website if I wasn't a fat admirer myself--but the person--the mind--is what matters most, and will be the _only_ thing that matters _after_ we achieve posthumanity and _before_ we go hive mind. Being physically attractive in today's current society is icing on the cake, and a useful tool for _initial_ bonding; or, at least, that's how it should be.



Even if this is happening within the next five years...


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## Fat Brian (Feb 15, 2012)




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## penguin (Feb 15, 2012)

Awesome use of the Borg, but I can't rep you again yet!


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## Fat Brian (Feb 15, 2012)

penguin said:


> Awesome use of the Borg, but I can't rep you again yet!



The whole "hive mind" thing is where he lost me, I just envision a bunch of bees in my skull. I don't even like to answer my phone, I can't image all of humanity buzzing through my consciousness.


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## SuperBatAquaGreenFlash (Feb 15, 2012)

natepogue said:


> So if at some point we only communicate via personality/mind, then my entire sexuality will be destroyed and useless.
> 
> 
> 
> Whelp, time to stand against the change!



At that point in time, you would have to decide which is more important to you: what is virtually immortality and infinite knowledge, or sexual pleasure? You would not be forced to assimilate, of course; forcing anyone into anything is quite wrong. But "standing against change" and bioluddism is just as vile, for it is the same authoritarianism in a different form (Not everyone wants to be slaves to their bodies and/or death, so why must they be forced to be?).



Fat Brian said:


> The whole "hive mind" thing is where he lost me, I just envision a bunch of bees in my skull. I don't even like to answer my phone, I can't image all of humanity buzzing through my consciousness.



See, the issue is that you're trying to visualize something that is essentially posthuman in human terms. While our brains have natural limits regarding how much information can be processed at once, an augmented/mechanical brain would obviously not have the same level of limitation. I can't comprehend what being a posthuman hive mind is like, being the human that I am, but I'm certain it would be quite different from how we experience things as humans.


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## Fat Brian (Feb 15, 2012)

SuperBatAquaGreenFlash said:


> I can't comprehend what being a posthuman hive mind is like, being the human that I am, but I'm certain it would be quite different from how we experience things as humans.



If you can't comprehend it how do you know you want it? What if the hive mind sucks? What if it only wants to relive old Jersey Shore episodes? What if its in a bad neighborhood and your wheels get yanked, how will you get home?


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## SuperBatAquaGreenFlash (Feb 15, 2012)

I wouldn't think those problems would apply to a being that is essentially the collective sum of all the information that was ever processed by human beings.

I'd want it because it would mean that I wouldn't die (Of course, my sense of "self" or individuality would die, but my data would live on within the hive mind) and that I would obtain infinite knowledge (I don't like being ignorant about things; becoming part of a hive mind would mean that humans would no longer be more ignorant than eachother in varying ways (Due to all humans composing one mind)), due to becoming a conduit of a vast network that can process information far faster than we could ever dream. Whether or not the hive mind would suck is a weird question; without individuality, we wouldn't be considering what sucks on an individual basis (It's like asking if it's possible for one of our braincells to think that our brain sucks). Plus, in all likelihood, emotion--save for manifestations of the will to power to prevent us from becoming simple input/output machines--would be phased out.

Either way, I look forward to the giant cloud of nanomachines that we will become; exploring, analyzing and molding the universe, across the stars. It would be a nirvana or oneness with the universe, achieved through science and technology.


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## Fat Brian (Feb 16, 2012)

What is the appeal of this? You're on a site full of hot fat women and all you can talk about is becoming a nanite with no body or sense of self. If your ultimate goal is to obliterate the self why entertain a puerile desire like FAism?


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## SuperBatAquaGreenFlash (Feb 16, 2012)

As of now, I am a human with human desires. The technology to achieve transcendence does not exist, yet.


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## moniquessbbw (Feb 16, 2012)

natepogue said:


> Why can't a guys love for your body + weight make him love you for more than that? To me, a girls body is important and me enjoying her weight is too, and anything else (personality especially) is just an incredible bonus. That doesn't cheapen anything in my book. Then again I tend to think with my penis but why can't my penis acknowledge a good girl via sexual attraction?



I am going to pretend that you didn't say that and used you penis to justify your actions. Really dude.


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## natepogue (Feb 16, 2012)

moniquessbbw said:


> I am going to pretend that you didn't say that and used you penis to justify your actions. Really dude.



I'm in the real world baby. A mans love for your body can be his love for your personality.


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## Blackjack (Feb 16, 2012)

SuperBatAquaGreenFlash said:


> Considering that we are at some point in the future going to abandon organic humanoid bodies for artificial, undying forums, loving one for his or her body and his or her body alone is love misplaced. There is nothing wrong with admiring physical traits, of course--I would not have signed up for this website if I wasn't a fat admirer myself--but the person--the mind--is what matters most, and will be the _only_ thing that matters _after_ we achieve posthumanity and _before_ we go hive mind. Being physically attractive in today's current society is icing on the cake, and a useful tool for _initial_ bonding; or, at least, that's how it should be.



You have a thread in Hyde Park to broadcast your transhumanism.

In this thread it doesn't really have much of a place and you sound like the crazy homeless guy ranting about vegetables taking over the universe.


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## willowmoon (Feb 16, 2012)

Blackjack said:


> In this thread it doesn't really have much of a place and you sound like the crazy homeless guy ranting about vegetables taking over the universe.



Beware the Broccoflower.


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## SuperBatAquaGreenFlash (Feb 16, 2012)

Blackjack said:


> You have a thread in Hyde Park to broadcast your transhumanism.
> 
> In this thread it doesn't really have much of a place and you sound like the crazy homeless guy ranting about vegetables taking over the universe.



I posted in this thread to discuss what is more important, the body or the person; I just happened to use my philosophy to justify my stance (It's akin to discussing fat acceptance, for example, when explaining to another individual that he or she should not be ashamed of his or her body). Discussing the finer details of transhumanism here was not my intent, but I cannot help not shying away from a discussion about it if others want it (And they did, as evidenced by how they replied to my post).


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## Fat Brian (Feb 16, 2012)

SuperBatAquaGreenFlash said:


> I posted in this thread to discuss what is more important, the body or the person; I just happened to use my philosophy to justify my stance (It's akin to discussing fat acceptance, for example, when explaining to another individual that he or she should not be ashamed of his or her body). Discussing the finer details of transhumanism here was not my intent, but I cannot help not shying away from a discussion about it if others want it (And they did, as evidenced by how they replied to my post).



How do you know that transhumans will be like you describe? Based on current versions we will more likely evolve into futanari, maybe even with shitting dick nipples.


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## SuperBatAquaGreenFlash (Feb 16, 2012)

Not sure how that would factor into the singularity. I haven't seen shitting dick nipples in any of Kurzweil's predictions, anyway.


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## Fat Brian (Feb 16, 2012)

You should really look into it, it's a very interesting evolutionary adaptation.


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## SuperBatAquaGreenFlash (Feb 16, 2012)

I have no doubt that it would be interesting.


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## natepogue (Feb 16, 2012)

I have no doubt that what you say will not happen.


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## SuperBatAquaGreenFlash (Feb 16, 2012)

natepogue said:


> I have no doubt that what you say will not happen.



You believe human augmentation will not happen, or you believe immortality will not be achieved? Or, are you talking about mass telepathic communication?


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## CastingPearls (Feb 16, 2012)

Hey guys, any way we can stick to the fucking topic and not proselytize for future converts, to something that isn't happening in our lifetime? Keep the crazy in Hyde Park, please.


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## Fat Brian (Feb 16, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> Hey guys, any way we can stick to the fucking topic and not proselytize for future converts, to something that isn't happening in our lifetime? Keep the crazy in Hyde Park, please.



Whats the matter, put on your tinfoil hat and join the collective consciousness!


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## penguin (Feb 16, 2012)

Fat Brian said:


> Whats the matter, put on your tinfoil hat and join the collective consciousness!



Unless the collective consciousness is all about "Penguin is great! Worship her!" I think we should stick to the topic


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## CastingPearls (Feb 16, 2012)

Fat Brian said:


> Whats the matter, put on your tinfoil hat and join the collective consciousness!



I prefer my copper bikini.

We already HAVE a collective consciousness here. It's called FAT PEOPLE ARE GREAT. (which, of course includes Penguin AND you)


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## Captain Save (Feb 16, 2012)

I get the impression that the original post was seeking something timeless and basic to so many, true love above and beyond lust for the female form. I'm positive there are fat admirers who don't seek to influence a woman to gain if it's not what she wants, but I would imagine that finding one who admires the person and individual characteristics _other_ than fat, such as the unique sound of her laughter, the heady euphoria of her embrace, the sight of the world and the people in it through her eyes, etc., would yield better results. Others have touched upon having a (insert name here) admirer rather than a fat admirer, and while it's nice to know one never needs to worry about maintaining a trim silhouette to maintain the physical attraction, there's no monopoly on the BBW or SSBBW trademark.

And about that copper bikini, I can only imagine how long it would take until one wrong move was made, resulting in either exposure or injury...

:doh:


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## Fat Brian (Feb 16, 2012)

penguin said:


> Unless the collective consciousness is all about "Penguin is great! Worship her!" I think we should stick to the topic



Are you asking to be the Queen Bee of the hive mind?


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## Fat Brian (Feb 16, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> I prefer my copper bikini.
> 
> We already HAVE a collective consciousness here. It's called FAT PEOPLE ARE GREAT. (which, of course includes Penguin AND you)



Thank you!


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## penguin (Feb 16, 2012)

Fat Brian said:


> Are you asking to be the Queen Bee of the hive mind?



I'll make it worth your while


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## Fat Brian (Feb 16, 2012)

penguin said:


> I'll make it worth your while



You've got my vote!


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## natepogue (Feb 16, 2012)

clearly castingpearls should be even more enraged that this has gotten further off topic.



oh wait..... :eat1:


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## CastingPearls (Feb 17, 2012)

natepogue said:


> clearly castingpearls should be even more enraged that this has gotten further off topic.
> 
> 
> 
> oh wait..... :eat1:


lol not really. but thanks for the shout out!


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## natepogue (Feb 17, 2012)

shout out to hypocrisy!


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## moniquessbbw (Feb 18, 2012)

Captain Save said:


> I get the impression that the original post was seeking something timeless and basic to so many, true love above and beyond lust for the female form. I'm positive there are fat admirers who don't seek to influence a woman to gain if it's not what she wants, but I would imagine that finding one who admires the person and individual characteristics _other_ than fat, such as the unique sound of her laughter, the heady euphoria of her embrace, the sight of the world and the people in it through her eyes, etc., would yield better results. Others have touched upon having a (insert name here) admirer rather than a fat admirer, and while it's nice to know one never needs to worry about maintaining a trim silhouette to maintain the physical attraction, there's no monopoly on the BBW or SSBBW trademark.
> 
> And about that copper bikini, I can only imagine how long it would take until one wrong move was made, resulting in either exposure or injury...
> 
> :doh:



You said if she wants. Why is the feeder thing always looming in the back ground? Also WTF happened to the post getting so off track with the people on the little yellow bus?


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## Captain Save (Feb 18, 2012)

moniquessbbw said:


> You said if she wants. Why is the feeder thing always looming in the back ground? Also WTF happened to the post getting so off track with the people on the little yellow bus?



If a guy respects the lady's wishes, he won't be getting any satisfaction from the feeding per se; rather, he'll be getting satisfaction from giving the lady what _she_ wants and needs. If it's painting, he'll probably get her a set of nice paintbrushes and an easel; if it's reading he might get her a Kindle. It's not about the food or feeding; it's about putting a smile on her face. Besides, it's not that far a stretch of the imagination that a guy who likes a BBW may not even be comfortable with feeding as a lifestyle.

I can't even say much about the people on the little yellow bus; this is Dims.


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## KHayes666 (Feb 18, 2012)

Ignoring the nerds and their robotics.....

I'm a feeder and I'm in a relationship with a (ghasp!) non-feedee. It is possible to date people outside of what they want if they're willing to sacrifice in a relationship. I don't plan on having my fiancee gain any weight intentionally and I'm sure as hell not going to force her to eat anything (unless she's sick and needs protein but that's a different matter). I was willing to let that element of me go in order to date the best woman I could find. If a guy's willing to give things up it means he's taking things seriously, may want to find a guy who's like that.

I know it sounds weird but not all feeders and FA's are rampaging douchebags that are all bark and no bite. Like some of the previous on-topic posts said, just have to find the right person.


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## UmbroUmbro (Feb 18, 2012)

moniquessbbw said:


> Last night I was on the phone with a male friend of mine. We have been friends for almost 10years. Very nice guy and has a love for all bbws and ssbbws. All he ever does is sing and shout out positive stuff about us. I asked him how bbw lovers felt about all the extra skin after someone has lost a lot of weight. I have rolls on top of rolls when I am naked. I was never self-conscious when I was 588. Now that I am smaller I still cant get use to my new body. I dont want to date an FA that is into feeding and gaining. Is it possible to find an FA who will love me for me as a person and not my fat? The fat is just a bonus for the FA. I want more out of a relationship than lust for my rolls. How do I find a happy medium?



It is possible. Not all people who like fat people are feeders or are into feeding. I'm not so sure its a questions for FAs, how you find your happy medium ? the answer is up to you really. How to find that answer, lay down some standards and see if the people you are interested in meets those standards. If not, keep searching until you find someone that fits what you want. Its sounds like you already know what you want and dont want so atleast you've got a precise aim for what you're looking for. The next thing i would do is research on where to find people you're interested in. Whether it be here or some other internet forum. You could even do a google search on people who have similar interests as you and find forums on that and then ask where they hang out or places to go. You've asked a broad question I think and one that requires some meditation. I believe someone mentioned "go tot he market and get price checks." I think that is a great idea too. 

I hope you find what you're looking for.


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## moniquessbbw (Feb 19, 2012)

Thanks for the help guys. It gave me lots to think about. I hope the next time I meet a guy he will make the right steps to show me he is real. I try and have girls night out at least once a month. We go to a BBW club or event of some sort. I don't think I will meet my guy at a club. I met my last BF at a club and he is now my stalker. Time for someone who wants to be my friend and let the relationship grow from there. In the mean time the new man in my life will hopefully be a new puppy next week. I hope the one I wanted is still there on Monday. TTYL guys and thanks. By the way congrats on the engagement Khay.


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## KHayes666 (Feb 19, 2012)

moniquessbbw said:


> Thanks for the help guys. It gave me lots to think about. I hope the next time I meet a guy he will make the right steps to show me he is real. I try and have girls night out at least once a month. We go to a BBW club or event of some sort. I don't think I will meet my guy at a club. I met my last BF at a club and he is now my stalker. Time for someone who wants to be my friend and let the relationship grow from there. In the mean time the new man in my life will hopefully be a new puppy next week. I hope the one I wanted is still there on Monday. TTYL guys and thanks. By the way congrats on the engagement Khay.



Thanks for your support. Hope you find a man that loves you as much as you love him.


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