# Something truly horrible that I need some opinions on...



## TaniaLilly (Dec 14, 2011)

Hey everyone... It's been a very long time since I was last on here but I saw this posted on a thread about bigger girls and was so shocked and saddened that I need to hear what someone else thinks especially the males in this community. So that's why I'm posting this here ... if I've put it in the wrong place I apologize and will move it if need be. 

These are solely the comments posted without user-names ... I would rather focus on the issue of what has been said rather than who has said it ... 

1. Be easy: You're fat. You have no right to self-respect.
2. Drop your standards: Again, you're fat. If it has a penis, and said penis isn't dripping gooey disease, it's more than good enough for you.
3. Be patient: You're not gonna be the first choice. Or the second choice. But when it gets close to closing time, desperation will start sinking in.


This article is about Fat Girls picking up guys, no? Shoot for a 2, hope you don't wind up with an STD.

Get Him Wasted... I don't think the term beer goggles applies, if you've already seen the women while sober.

Seduce Him...Just ask for sex, if that's what you want, ask for it. If you want an actual relationship, well maybe the condom will break.

Take Him Home... /sigh, like the guy above me has said, most guys don't give a crap, if the option is to have sex with a fatty, or not have sex. Most single guys would chose the fatty. 


I guess my question is ... have you ever come across other males in society who will actually be this cruel? ... While I know this kind of cruelty exists and have myself been on the other end of a fair amount of it I just could not believe my eyes at the extent to which this person has taken it. Do men in general who are not FA's really all feel this way? and what are your opinions on men and women like this? 

I am a bbw and I know that we can be some of the most beautiful people in the world inside and out and I hate this so much ... I worry for the bbws who would have read this and don't know about communities like dimensions or even that FA's exist (It does happen before finding this place I was one of them) who do they have telling them it's garbage and that all men don't feel this way? 

I think with this in mind if you can tell me any stories as well of bbws you have met that haven't believed that you are truly attracted to them and what you have done to overcome this?

I'm so sorry for the bad news here everyone, but I hope that this thread will be able to make something lovely out of something horrible and that everyone will talk about just how important it is to love women of all sizes. I hope to show this to some of my other bbw friends who actually showed me this to prove to them that this is not the way the world is. So please comment if you can. 

Tania


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## B00TS (Dec 18, 2011)

1. Be easy on yourself. You're fat - cool! You have as much right to self respect as everyone else.

2. Don't drop your standards. Again, you're fat - cool! If it's an FA and it has a penis, chances are you're in the driving seat!

3. Be patient: Finding a partner that suits you takes time. When it gets close to closing time though, if there's an FA in the room, the skinny girls won't even get a look in.


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## wrestlingguy (Dec 18, 2011)

Yeah, I've seen guys be this cruel. I took this guy on, who wrote the following blog:
**link removed**

If you look in the responses, you'll know where I chimed in.

More important is the following message. I know many of you don't want to get involved in internet wars, because you think it's a waste of time. I don't, and I think it has some value, since your response to crap like this may change the mind of an innocent person reading the site. It can also give encouragement to a person who might just be feeling the heat when they read hate blogs such as this.

Please get involved in answering this stuff. You'll feel better about yourself, and you may have a positive influence on others.


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## Fat Brian (Dec 18, 2011)

The internet allows people to say the horrific things they think without the filter of fear of repercussions. This stuff is all over, ever read the comments on youtube? I don't believe that all nonFA men think like this, its really just a small but vocal hyper-macho group of closet cases and prepubescent boys who need to express themselves like this.


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## Lamia (Dec 18, 2011)

wrestlingguy said:


> Yeah, I've seen guys be this cruel. I took this guy on, who wrote the following blog:
> link removed from quote - mod
> 
> If you look in the responses, you'll know where I chimed in.
> ...



kudos to you and it's something I've said for years if more people had their idiot ideas challenged they might be less inclined to spout moronic bs. Most people know they can spew fat hate and no one will say anything to them.


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## LinathSuru (Dec 18, 2011)

wrestlingguy said:


> Yeah, I've seen guys be this cruel. I took this guy on, who wrote the following blog:



Why is that it's not okay to discriminate against people with diseases like AIDS but it is okay to discriminate against people with the 'medical condition' that is Obesity? That's what I don't get. If that guy had made a post saying 'Don't befriend people with AIDS' or 'Don't love people with AIDS' it would likely have blown up in his face... But fat people? Oh no. So many people chime in in the comments to say 'Yeah, God bless Asia, all the chicks are skinny here and anyone getting fat is shamed!' 

Ugh.

Anyway, before I let that carry me into more of a rant. I can only hope that other women who find threads with comments like the ones TaniaLilly posted in the initial post here end up finding sites like Dimensions. I know that before dating the FA I'm still with today I had no idea anyone might find me attractive as a heavy girl. I thought I was ugly, and it took him years to get it through my stubborn head that I wasn't.

He overcame that and my disbelief of his interest by continuing to call me beautiful and reinforce that he really found me attractive. I'm so very glad he did. I only hope now that I can be an inspiration in some small way to other women I meet, so they know that no matter their body size there is value in them and they are beautiful.

Hopefully not all non-FAs are so cruel. I don't imagine they would be. 

Just my two cents, Tania. Hope it helps when you show the thread to your friends.

~Lin


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## imfree (Dec 18, 2011)

LinathSuru said:


> Why is that it's not okay to discriminate against people with diseases like AIDS but it is okay to discriminate against people with the 'medical condition' that is Obesity? That's what I don't get. If that guy had made a post saying 'Don't befriend people with AIDS' or 'Don't love people with AIDS' it would likely have blown up in his face... But fat people? Oh no. So many people chime in in the comments to say 'Yeah, God bless Asia, all the chicks are skinny here and anyone getting fat is shamed!'
> 
> Ugh.
> 
> ...



My take on this is that too many fat people and FA's let that kind of shit attack their self-esteem and have an inner dialog that says they somehow deserve it for being fat or finding fat partners attractive. Obese people are now the majority, yet we still get pushed around by fat-haters??? Most writers of fat-hate strike me (my personal opinion only) as being fucking morons, anyway.


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## chicken legs (Dec 18, 2011)

Its scary to me that people do have this mindset. I see this all the time on bodybuilding forums and I ran across. Just google "hate fat forum" and you will see it because I just tried it. I have noticed some of the most passionate haters were once overweight themselves and people with eating disorders. They go from one extreme to another.


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## Lovelyone (Dec 18, 2011)

The whole idea that discrimination like this runs rampant makes my stomach turn. This is exactly the reason that we need a forums like we have here for support and encouragement.


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## FeedYouInFlorida (Dec 18, 2011)

Yes, I've seen men and women both be this cruel. I'm (mostly) bald, and some folks don't hesitate to make hurtful comments to my face. It hurts, and ignoring these things is easier said than done. I guess we all just have to seek out the people who accept us as we are.


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## AnnMarie (Dec 18, 2011)

I don't seek out or engage hatred - you can't cure group mob mentality, especially on the internet, and it only poisons you. 

There is all manner of hatred, not just fat hate, and I do not allow it in my life. Seeking these things out generally only hurts you, and does not effect change. 

There are exceptions, and fights worth fighting, but anonymous loud mouths on the internet? No.


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## imfree (Dec 18, 2011)

chicken legs said:


> Its scary to me that people do have this mindset. I see this all the time on bodybuilding forums and I ran across. Just google "hate fat forum" and you will see it because I just tried it. I have noticed some of the most passionate haters were once overweight themselves and people with eating disorders. They go from one extreme to another.



I personally think that's a type of displaced self-hate or an anger that comes from thinking "I've denied myself food and exercised intensely because I hate fat, so I hate you for not denying yourself food and exercising like I have".


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## LovelyLiz (Dec 18, 2011)

I guess it can be good at times for people to find those comments or negative websites and post counter-points. I prefer to mostly stay off those things though. Don't like letting the haters invade my mental space, and not really sure it does any real good.

Though, I agree, that it probably doesn't change the minds of the fat-phobes, but it might be an enlightening and encouraging thing for fat people to run across if they are masochistic enough to read that fat-hating stuff.


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## imfree (Dec 18, 2011)

Please, Guys, be especially careful not to engage a fat-hating fuckhead somewhere and accidentally lead him/her back here!!!


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## moore2me (Dec 19, 2011)

TaniaLilly said:


> (snipped)
> I'm so sorry for the bad news here everyone, but I hope that this thread will be able to make something lovely out of something horrible and that everyone will talk about just how important it is to love women of all sizes. I hope to show this to some of my other bbw friends who actually showed me this to prove to them that this is not the way the world is. So please comment if you can.
> 
> Tania



TaniaLily,

Here’s my take on your post. You read this crap. You know it’s crap but you are afraid some other naïve, vulnerable or stoopid young chicks will believe this BS - right?

I will give you some of my answers to this post if you want to use them. However, I wouldn’t do this unless you are prepared for battle with this lower form of life. It won’t be pretty. When you &#8216;rassle a pig in the mud, you both get dirty and the pig has fun. Below is how I would respond to this little fat hating bigot.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good Lord _(insert name)_!!!! 
Why are you even wasting our airtime and data usage with your idiot bullshit? Answering your post is like talking to Earlie from Squidbillies (except Earlie is sexier and smarter). 

I happen to be a beautiful, full figured, young woman. I am smart, I am an adult, and could easily kick your ass without any of my brothers’ help. I am also very, very sexy and would not touch you with a ten foot snakewhip even if you were tied up.

I have high standards for my life, my friends, and my boyfriends. I do not need to “get guys drunk” (but it may work for your pickup technique). And a little medical advice, someone who even suggests sex with a "stud with a sexy diseased penis" is a sicko who is in the same rank and file as other sex offenders who think women are things to be defiled. Also “Einstein”, if the condom breaks, the contamination goes both ways - the woman can get what you have and you can get what she has. *Bigger hint*: since you seem to be all too familiar with this practice, I suggest you gets an AIDS test, and some STD tests from your local health clinic.

And one more thing, this little fat girl, sicko diatribe you are spouting sounds really familiar. I have heard all this material before from several stand-up professional comedians whose material is posted on the Youtube. You should really give credit to others when you steal their material, and make sure you quote it correctly.

(End of my response to fat hating bigot)
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And as to your question about are men who are not fat admirer’s this cruel? The normal ones are not sick like this guy, only the perverts are. (The closest group of men who are like this guy are in the maximum security lockup in prison.) Men anywhere close to this guy’s personality should be avoided like the bubonic plague. Think of them as your worst nightmare or any girl’s worst nightmare, they will f**k you up and god forbid if you have any sons or daughters with this jerk, he will f**k them up too. 

As to the poison penpal’s suggestion about seducing a man, that is probably the one piece of actual good advice. However, there is more than one way to seduce a man. If you two are his place or yours, you can wear a sexy outfit, wear sexy jewelry, dance, talk sexy, or with a lot of men in the south, cook a great supper. I have found chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes & gravy and peach cobbler is not a bad choice. (It will have most guys purring like a kitten.)


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## chicken legs (Dec 19, 2011)

imfree said:


> I personally think that's a type of displaced self-hate or an anger that comes from thinking "I've denied myself food and exercised intensely because I hate fat, so I hate you for not denying yourself food and exercising like I have".



Sometimes. So far I have seen that they are jealous of a person's size because they want it, they have been traumatized by a person of size in some way, or they were a person of size and went overboard on changing their mindset.


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## Keb (Dec 19, 2011)

The "in male fide" guy started a blog called fat girl jihad. 

...I'm tempted to try to report it to the government as a terrorist thing, especially after one commenter posted about bombing a McDonald's, but I don't think it's worth wasting government resources over. 

Still...it's scary that anyone could even think of such a thing, and think it's okay.


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## LovelyLiz (Dec 19, 2011)

Keb said:


> The "in male fide" guy started a blog called fat girl jihad.
> 
> ...I'm tempted to try to report it to the government as a terrorist thing, especially after one commenter posted about bombing a McDonald's, but I don't think it's worth wasting government resources over.
> 
> Still...it's scary that anyone could even think of such a thing, and think it's okay.



He also openly mocks someone with Down's Syndrome. What a joke that his page's title says, "The blog that shouted LOVE at the heart of the world."

That isn't any kind of love I'd ever want to receive or give.


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## Deven (Dec 19, 2011)

The inmalafide dude is part of the frat humor that Tucker Max made popular. These are grown men who act like teenagers or frat boys (hence the Frat humor.)

I honestly think it's the girls that decide to go out with these losers (the ones they call 10's) that we should feel sorry for. They will forever have to put up with immature, childish behavior and a guy that can't see past her looks. While we BBWs get guys that looks don't matter/love us the way we are. We get guys that know we have more to offer than a pretty face. 

As for those comments? These guys will learn that it's really the ones they go after that have no self-esteem. If they are willing to sink to someone that will belittle other people, they have no self-worth.


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## Diana_Prince245 (Dec 19, 2011)

I think most men like this are so insecure with who they are they lash out at the easiest targets. Fat people, gays, the disabled. I fgure they have to be miserable and hate themselves, while I get to do fun things and not really give a rats ass about what other people think of who I welcome into my life.


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## RabbitScorpion (Dec 19, 2011)

Those quotes you cited are just awful. Please tell me they were not on Dims. If they are from another forum, don't name it. I don't want to go there.

I find the stereotype of plus-sized girls/women being desperate to be just that - a stereotype. I swear more WPTH girls "gave me the eye" than BBWs did (I'm a guy, BTW). BBWs seem to be more discriminating than WPTHs. I sought the attention of BBWs from the time I was 14 and finally got one to date me when I was 21.


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## LovelyLiz (Dec 19, 2011)

The reality, most people will feel desperate at some point. Fat girls are more likely to attribute it to their fatness, but thin women can be just as desperate - they just blame it on some other characteristic (physical or otherwise).


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## moore2me (Dec 19, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> The reality, most people will feel desperate at some point. Fat girls are more likely to attribute it to their fatness, but thin women can be just as desperate - they just blame it on some other characteristic (physical or otherwise).



McBeth, 

I would like to suggest an alternate word instead of " desperate". Call it "in heat", or "horny", or "raging hormones", but most people will respond to the strong calls of mother nature. These incredibly strong reproduction urges have created the millions of people that are on the earth today (for good or bad).

We can be trained and educated to be selective in our choice of mates. We can commit to monogamy, commit to no premarital sex, or commit to a person we love and remain loyal to. However, there are always things out there working to lower our resolve. Liquor, drugs, music, a certain man or woman, atmosphere, and other things can alter good judgment. This is an excellent reason why many of us have chosen to avoid heavy drinking.

And some women are not desperate little flowers at closing time. Some of us become predators in a sort of role reversal from male hunter/woman hunted.


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## Russell Williams (Dec 19, 2011)

IN PRAISE OF FAT 



I am a practicing FA with years of experience. Long have I been
praising the bodies of beautiful fat women. In the process my
life has been enriched by meeting many wonderful women who take
justifiable pride in their supple, flexible, silky bodies.
However there are many young, untutored FA's in NAAFA who, while
recognizing that it brings great joy, are not fully aware of the
potential for ecstasy presented by the voluptuous, abundant body
of a charming, joyful, willing to be admired, fat woman. To
provide guidance to such inexperienced FA's I provide the
following thoughts gleaned from years of intensive practice.

I love the fat female form in all its multitudinous
manifestations. If a woman calls on the phone, or, while dressed
in a tent, stands in front of me, with no makeup on, I can easily
hold a deep, philosophical discussion with her. However, let the
woman in question have make up on, her hair in order and wear a
form fitting outfit, then my attention wanders, my mind stumbles,
and my train of logic runs off the track.

O neophyte FA, you know how the sight of a voluptuous fat body
rivets your attention. Long have you known that still or moving,
vertical or horizontal, clothed or not, the joys of fat are
legion. You have wondered why others climb mountains or buy
Rembrandts in their search for beauty when wondrous splendor is
as near as the local NAAFA meeting.

Novice FA, you have already learned that to watch a well dressed
fat woman stand and talk, to view her movements across the dance
floor, to lovingly watch each and every bounce as she comes down
a staircase, and ( oh heart be still!) to see one bouncing,
jiggling, and rippling on a diving board... are but a few of the
visual joys of fat.


But wait, oh neophyte FA, for there is more! For every ounce of
visual pleasure in a willing fat woman there is a pound of
tactile pleasure. The touching delights of fat seem endless.
They range from gently stroking a fat arm through hugging a large
soft body, to slowly laying one's head on a magnificent belly.
While your head is ensconced in her soft satin skin, the cares
and worries of the day dissipate. Your blood pressure drops,
your stress level plummets, you have a foretaste of the delights
of heaven.

Now, relaxed and refreshed, consider the following tactile
possibilities. One can view a willing fat woman resting on her
side and simultaneously stroke her fat as it billows across the
sheets. In time watch your source of delight as she reclines on
her back with the rhythmic movements of breathing raising and
lowering her massive, majestic, marvelous fat. Again draw your
fingers gently, slowly across her silken softness. Finally,
gently raise a large portion of her tender glory and watch it,
upon release, fall back, rippling and enticing across the bed
while slowly returning to a resting state.

Oh FA you are not dying. The hot flashes, the heart
palpitations, the shaking hands and loss of breath that you now
have are all the normal responses of an FA who has encountered a
very loving and desirable fat woman.

Yet, oh budding FA, your ecstasy can not continue to build
uninterrupted. There is more to fat then its soft comfort,
warmth, and security. We have not spoken of its thoughtful,
intellectual joys. The mathematician, artist, physicist, and
musician in each of us can all find relaxation, practice, and
enjoyment in fine, fair, friendly, flowing fat. The painter can
recreate on canvas, the mathematician can quantify; the physicist
can observe, measure, and weigh; and the musician can create
melodies with the bodies, bellies, thighs, arms and hips of their
loved ones.

But enough of these raphsodies on fat. My own angel of delight
has appeared. My train is rapidly running off its track. It is

time to retire with my large, lovely fat wife, and turn thoughts
into actions, words into deeds.


Russell F. Williams FA


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## LovelyLiz (Dec 20, 2011)

moore2me said:


> McBeth,
> 
> I would like to suggest an alternate word instead of " desperate". Call it "in heat", or "horny", or "raging hormones", but most people will respond to the strong calls of mother nature. These incredibly strong reproduction urges have created the millions of people that are on the earth today (for good or bad).
> 
> ...



I really don't mean "desperate" in a sexual way. I mean desperate to be found attractive or loved or just for a date. When options seem to be dried up, and you want companionship (of any type) it can feel like you're not good enough, and a person can feel desperate for any kind of attention.

That is what I mean. It's a feeling a lot people have sometimes, maybe you don't, but most single people I know do feel that way at one time or another.


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## bigmac (Dec 20, 2011)

TaniaLilly said:


> ...
> 
> 
> I guess my question is ... have you ever come across other males in society who will actually be this cruel? ... While I know this kind of cruelty exists and have myself been on the other end of a fair amount of it I just could not believe my eyes at the extent to which this person has taken it. Do men in general who are not FA's really all feel this way? and what are your opinions on men and women like this?



The world is full of shallow asses -- both male and female.

I was at a BBW club in Long Beach a few years ago with my wife. A skinny little guy in the men's room was spouting of about how easy it was to get laid in a "place like this." Anyway a little while later I'm coming back with drinks and see this guy putting moves on my wife -- I walk up an put my arm around her and glare at the little jerk (I'm 6'4"). You should have seen how fast the little rat scurried away.


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## Marlayna (Dec 20, 2011)

imfree said:


> I personally think that's a type of displaced self-hate or an anger that comes from thinking "I've denied myself food and exercised intensely because I hate fat, so I hate you for not denying yourself food and exercising like I have".


Yes! In some cases it's almost a jealousy... like how dare I be fat and happy. Thank you for putting it into words.


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## imfree (Dec 20, 2011)

Marlayna said:


> Yes! In some cases it's almost a jealousy... like how dare I be fat and happy. Thank you for putting it into words.



'Twasn't very hard at all. The CEO of that radio shop I worked at until '01 was a member of that infamous "way-down workshop" at his "church" and whenever he was even in the same room, I could feel and smell the hate coming out of him!


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## Falling Boy (Dec 22, 2011)

TaniaLilly said:


> Hey everyone... It's been a very long time since I was last on here but I saw this posted on a thread about bigger girls and was so shocked and saddened that I need to hear what someone else thinks especially the males in this community. So that's why I'm posting this here ... if I've put it in the wrong place I apologize and will move it if need be.
> 
> These are solely the comments posted without user-names ... I would rather focus on the issue of what has been said rather than who has said it ...
> 
> ...




Yes, I've seen many ignorant and childish things like this said in many other places. I think it's usually posted by kids whose parents aren't monitoring what they are doing on the internet. People are very cruel but don't ever let it get you down. People are beautiful in all shapes, sizes, colors etc. It's understandable that all people aren't going to be attracted to the same type of people, but the people that single out a group and trash them obviously have a deep seeded issue with those people for some reason. I find BBW's beautiful and as a guy I have heard some of the rudest comments about bigger gals from other guys, I admit when I was younger I kept my mouth shut but as I have gotten older and don't care what idiots think I now have no problem telling them how it is. And yes I have been in the situation where a women didn't believe that I like big women, she thought I was looking for a quick lay because she had that experience happen to her before. It's very sad, but yes it happens. There are some grade A a**holes out there.


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## wtchmel (Dec 26, 2011)

Honestly, shit like this makes me feel like retreating further into the forest, and barely ever coming out. Sometimes I just fuckin' hate people. sigh.......


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## Miskatonic (Dec 27, 2011)

I don't think fat hate is nearly as rampant as the loud mouthed jerk offs on the Internet make it seem. I know plenty of guys who aren't sexually attracted to big women, but are still friends with several and are respectful of them. Of course you're always going to have your hyper macho bullies who take the alpha male mindset way too seriously, but most people today, whether they think fat is great or unhealthy, are respectful of us fatties.


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## Lovelyone (Jan 2, 2012)

I totally (respectfully) disagree with you. As I read what you typed, all I could think was..."Are you kidding? He thinks that MOST people are respectful of us fatties?? Really? MOST PEOPLE???"
That may be the situation for you, but it's not the case for me, and I daresay that some of the other large people here might agree. There's not a time that I go out in public where someone isn't making a rude comment, giving me a "you are a disgusting pig" stare, or pointing me out to some of their fat bigot friends so that they can all have a good laugh at the morbidly obese person in front of them. When I go out in public I get stared at, jeered at, people act like if they look at me they will catch my fat contagion and become fat themselves. God forbid they meet my eyes--they might feel an ass dimple magically appear on their asses, cos after all, fat is contagious, right? When I walk down the aisle at the local grocery store, people part way like they are parting the red sea. "OMG, watch out a fatty is coming through". I've actually seen them suck in, as if I am as wide as the food aisles. I've heard them walking behind me making cracking sounds like I am breaking the pavement. 
Try finding a job as a fat person. I can't tell you how many jobs I have been turned down for when I am perfectly suited for them...by interviewers who give me the *OMG-look-how-fat-that-person-is* once over. In those situations we already know that we've lost the job before we even GET an interview.
Going out to eat is another chapter in a thicker book. When I walk into a restaurant the waitresses fight over who ISN'T going to serve me--cos God forbid they have to go back for a second helping of bread sticks or work harder to get another glass of soda for the fat chick. If I go into an all you can eat place, people RUSH up to the bar to get some food before I do cos they think that I can/will eat all of it and leave none for them. I've lived it, it happens. 
My dear, fat bigotry is rampant in this country. Count your blessings that you are lucky enough to be one of the people that haven't had to suffer through much of it.




Miskatonic said:


> I don't think fat hate is nearly as rampant as the loud mouthed jerk offs on the Internet make it seem. I know plenty of guys who aren't sexually attracted to big women, but are still friends with several and are respectful of them. Of course you're always going to have your hyper macho bullies who take the alpha male mindset way too seriously, but most people today, whether they think fat is great or unhealthy, are respectful of us fatties.


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## imfree (Jan 2, 2012)

Lovelyone said:


> I totally (respectfully) disagree with you. As I read what you typed, all I could think was..."Are you kidding? He thinks that MOST people are respectful of us fatties?? Really? MOST PEOPLE???"
> That may be the situation for you, but it's not the case for me, and I daresay that some of the other large people here might agree. There's not a time that I go out in public where someone isn't making a rude comment, giving me a "you are a disgusting pig" stare, or pointing me out to some of their fat bigot friends so that they can all have a good laugh at the morbidly obese person in front of them. When I go out in public I get stared at, jeered at, people act like if they look at me they will catch my fat contagion and become fat themselves. God forbid they meet my eyes--they might feel an ass dimple magically appear on their asses, cos after all, fat is contagious, right? When I walk down the aisle at the local grocery store, people part way like they are parting the red sea. "OMG, watch out a fatty is coming through". I've actually seen them suck in, as if I am as wide as the food aisles. I've heard them walking behind me making cracking sounds like I am breaking the pavement.
> Try finding a job as a fat person. I can't tell you how many jobs I have been turned down for when I am perfectly suited for them...by interviewers who give me the *OMG-look-how-fat-that-person-is* once over. In those situations we already know that we've lost the job before we even GET an interview.
> Going out to eat is another chapter in a thicker book. When I walk into a restaurant the waitresses fight over who ISN'T going to serve me--cos God forbid they have to go back for a second helping of bread sticks or work harder to get another glass of soda for the fat chick. If I go into an all you can eat place, people RUSH up to the bar to get some food before I do cos they think that I can/will eat all of it and leave none for them. I've lived it, it happens.
> My dear, fat bigotry is rampant in this country. Count your blessings that you are lucky enough to be one of the people that haven't had to suffer through much of it.



Fat bigotry is indeed, rampant in this country. I've personally experienced much of what LovelyOne has written about.


I would have starved to death, had I not become disabled and been awarded VA disability. Weighing 300 lbs completely negated my experience as a 27 year veteran electronic repair tech to any of the many potential employers I contacted in my 3 year job search, prior to going on disability. I guess they would have shot on sight if they had seen me at my present 441 lbs! You can be an addict or ex-con and get compassion in this country, but if you're fat, you get fucked.


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## wrestlingguy (Jan 30, 2012)

Not everyone agrees that taking on internet trolls is a great idea, and while I respect the opinions of those who disagree with me, perhaps this is an alternative.

I belong to a Facebook group called "Rolls, Not Trolls". It's a fat positive group, that doesn't engage anyone in tit for tat dialogue, but sends a more positive message to readers of blogs and forums. Here's there group message:



> We are a group of people who want to spread a positive message of body love to the darkest corners of the internet: the comments sections of major news stories. This is a place to share links if you want some help with a discussion, and get support when your sanity watchers points are used up. Ninja Commenting is encouraged - get in there, leave your comment, and get out with your sanity intact - then let us know about the link so that we can do the same! We are not about going to people's blogs and telling them what to do, nor are we about sinking to the level of other commenters. This is about filling the internet with a positive message!



The group is closed and admission is by invite, so if any of you are friends with me on Facebook, and interested in participating in this, please let me know.


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## Still Waters (Jan 30, 2012)

These days, every culture, every political, religious or unreligious group has loads of people who don't just hate them, they spew bile and contempt at them very publicly. And I don't think people let it get to them when it's on political or religious grounds. How many liberals start doubting themselves just because a bunch of Obamanating birthers sound so sure of themselves?


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## LifeTraveller (Jan 31, 2012)

chicken legs said:


> Its scary to me that people do have this mindset. I see this all the time on bodybuilding forums and I ran across. Just google "hate fat forum" and you will see it because I just tried it. I have noticed some of the most passionate haters were once overweight themselves and people with eating disorders. They go from one extreme to another.



To be honest, the worst are "former smokers". . I smoked for years and quit "cold turkey", and have never regretted it. Yet I've never condemned anyone for not quitting.. at least not that I remember. . but I digress. 

I believe in what I call the 11th commandment. "You are entitled to any opinion you choose. . You are not, however entitled to attempt to force that opinion on anyone else". Too bad people don't get it.

I've said for years the worst thing about the internet, and the best thing about the internet is the anonymity you have. (to an extent) I actually said that in the old IRC days (that's internet relay chat for you youngsters). I've also noticed that as we become more diverse, there's a prejudice for almost everything. . You name it, someone doesn't like it. . simple as that! Oh not to mention they can hide behind a computer screen and deliver their venom without any recourse. (usually)

Height, weight, hair color, body art, or lack of. .whatever!! My late wife was the victim of every kind of "fat prejudice" you could imagine. . The worst wasn't young guys, it was little old ladies, or rather women in general, often in restaurants "whispering" loud enough for her to hear.. Oh the joys of calling the waitress over to deliver a message from me, or to better yet deliver it in person. ."Mind your own business"! Am I sanctimonious enough to act like I'm perfect, of course not! I know I'm flawed, but I'm a work in progress. 

Like most folks all I want to do is live my life and go about my business. I'll never understand why people feel the need to "meddle". . Never will understand, I suppose. . If someone needs a hand, I'm there. . to help, not criticize, it's not my way. . Just some random thoughts. .


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## MissAshley (Jan 31, 2012)

As a thin woman, I have heard males make comments about fat women when the fat women aren't aware, and they can get pretty horrible. I honestly wouldn't say it's always insecurity, but rather just hate for fat people and fatness in general. Or they think it's funny and acceptable to make fun of and to disrespect. 

They don't see fat people as "people" really because they generalize fat people as being lazy overeaters, and that registers in their head as "they don't respect their own selves, so I it's not wrong to be mean and disrespect them back."


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## LovelyLiz (Jan 31, 2012)

MissAshley said:


> As a thin woman, I have heard males make comments about fat women when the fat women aren't aware, and they can get pretty horrible. I honestly wouldn't say it's always insecurity, but rather just hate for fat people and fatness in general. Or they think it's funny and acceptable to make fun of and to disrespect.
> 
> They don't see fat people as "people" really because they generalize fat people as being lazy overeaters, and that registers in their head as "they don't respect their own selves, so I it's not wrong to be mean and disrespect them back."



So how do you respond when you encounter those kinds of lies and disrespectful, hateful comments? Do you speak up or remain silent?


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## MissAshley (Jan 31, 2012)

mcbeth said:


> So how do you respond when you encounter those kinds of lies and disrespectful, hateful comments? Do you speak up or remain silent?



It depends on the person and the situation. Sometimes I would remain silent. Sometimes I would say, "That's mean!" I wish I had the guts to speak up every time but with my introverted and non confrontational nature, it's not always easy for me. But then I realize that life can't be any easier for those people being name called all the time.


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## orin (Jan 31, 2012)

chicken legs said:


> Its scary to me that people do have this mindset. I see this all the time on bodybuilding forums and I ran across. Just google "hate fat forum" and you will see it because I just tried it. I have noticed some of the most passionate haters were once overweight themselves and people with eating disorders. They go from one extreme to another.



This part is so VERY true ... I notice some of the meanest people are those who were once bigger. I think it is because they hated themselves at a larger side and now hate others who shared the size they once were. I used to be a bigger guy and muscled up, but I understand that it is not easy for everyone to do that ... some of us have alot more going on than people really see.

But in terms of dating and being overweight, in my experience in my days as being a bigger man, dating did not go well .. and it was nto the weight i think, I just lacked swag.

there are alot of people that will make mean comments to make you feel like ... fat women are at the bottom ....

but this is not true, because a pretty fat chick will get as much attention as a pretty thick chick ... i have seen this often .... 

it is not necessarily the weight but how you carry it, how you take care of yourself and all that.


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## orin (Jan 31, 2012)

MissAshley said:


> As a thin woman, I have heard males make comments about fat women when the fat women aren't aware, and they can get pretty horrible. I honestly wouldn't say it's always insecurity, but rather just hate for fat people and fatness in general. Or they think it's funny and acceptable to make fun of and to disrespect.
> 
> They don't see fat people as "people" really because they generalize fat people as being lazy overeaters, and that registers in their head as "they don't respect their own selves, so I it's not wrong to be mean and disrespect them back."



YES ... so very true on this also ... 

a few times I had to correct some people about that, because a woman I was dating was this plus size model type of girl ... and they were like ... "u must be benching her while she eats all day to help your workout" ... then i whipped out a pic of her playing softball and doing yoga ... she was one of those strong athletic types .... but beautifully plush at the same time !!!


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## LordQuas (Feb 4, 2012)

I think more men think this way than don't but the vast majority are far too cowardly to ever vocalize it publicly, certainly not with that level of hatred.


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## Russell Williams (Feb 4, 2012)

I remember once at a NAAFA function I was in a room, perhaps corner of the hospitality suite I do not remember, and there were several fat women there who are engaging in a conversation about how sexy, sensual, and attractive thin men were. There were some fat man there who could overhear the conversation. As I was listening to the conversation I was wondering, "If this had been a bunch of fat man talking about how sexy and attractive they found thin women would that activity have been considered unacceptable?" So, did I do anything constructive about confronting this? No.


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## Lovelyone (Feb 4, 2012)

Russell Williams said:


> I remember once at a NAAFA function I was in a room, perhaps corner of the hospitality suite I do not remember, and there were several fat women there who are engaging in a conversation about how sexy, sensual, and attractive thin men were. There were some fat man there who could overhear the conversation. As I was listening to the conversation I was wondering, "If this had been a bunch of fat man talking about how sexy and attractive they found thin women would that activity have been considered unacceptable?" So, did I do anything constructive about confronting this? No.



There is nothing wrong with someone (or a group of someone's) talking about how sexy they find another person or type of person to be...whether they are fat or thin. I find a lot of thin men sexy (although I find a lot of bigger men sexy,too.) A person's preference is their own and they can feel as they wish. A problem comes into play when they degrade or belittle the opposite type of person to whom you are attracted. There's no necessity to that. A live and let live attitude is best as long as no one is being portrayed in a derogatory manner.
Had these groups of people been degrading fat men/women in their conversation that would be different. Discussing the sexiness of men/women is a normal thing for women/men, just saying.
I guess I don't see NAAFA as just a place where fat people can congregate with other fat people to discuss how big people's lives would be better changed by more rights and less insults. I see it as a place where anyone--fat or not--can go in support of fat people. I am sure that there are meetings and seminars about the rights of big people and how things can better be changed by acceptance, but I don't see it being singularly unique to big people. Everyone wants acceptance in some form or another.


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## RedVelvet (Feb 9, 2012)

Russell Williams said:


> I remember once at a NAAFA function I was in a room, perhaps corner of the hospitality suite I do not remember, and there were several fat women there who are engaging in a conversation about how sexy, sensual, and attractive thin men were. There were some fat man there who could overhear the conversation. As I was listening to the conversation I was wondering, "If this had been a bunch of fat man talking about how sexy and attractive they found thin women would that activity have been considered unacceptable?" So, did I do anything constructive about confronting this? No.



Expressing what you like isn't the same as putting down what you don't like. It's just an expression of preference. If the women were insulting the fat men in any way, it would be very different indeed, but this is just...admiration, as far as you describe it.

I am not an FA myself, but have dated and loved fat men...just to give context.


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## TaniaLilly (Mar 20, 2012)

Thank you everyone for giving your two cents and talking about this ... I did show this to my friends and if you can believe it this thread and site has done so much for them ... For the first time I saw them almost hopeful about the world and how it may be changing if communities like this are out there. They'd never seen men stand up for and say such lovely things about big women and all of the bbws on here who can just be so confident and strong in going through I know what we all do every day when we step out the door. 

Fat hate may be out there but there's a lot of love for it too ... This place we all found this thread shows us that ... It shows us men and women who are proud of what they love and the women and men that they do love and I think that's such a great thing. 

Let's just support each other as much as we can and show dims to as many bbws and fa's as there are needing to find a place like this. 

My love to you all and anyone who wants to continue the conversation with me is welcome to ...I invite you to message me here or email me if you would like to


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## Jack Secret (Mar 21, 2012)

TaniaLilly said:


> Thank you everyone for giving your two cents and talking about this ... I did show this to my friends and if you can believe it this thread and site has done so much for them ... For the first time I saw them almost hopeful about the world and how it may be changing if communities like this are out there. They'd never seen men stand up for and say such lovely things about big women and all of the bbws on here who can just be so confident and strong in going through I know what we all do every day when we step out the door.
> 
> Fat hate may be out there but there's a lot of love for it too ... This place we all found this thread shows us that ... It shows us men and women who are proud of what they love and the women and men that they do love and I think that's such a great thing.
> 
> ...



I guess I should say welcome to the site.

You'll find things quite different around here. Stand up, be proud and know that you are a bunch of pretty good people. I still laugh at the notion that fat girls are "easy". I think anybody that says that never actually tried to pick up a fat girl


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