# +800 Pound Vanilla from bbwroylty.com is on Jan. 2020 "My 600 lb Life"



## Super Fan (Dec 13, 2019)

Vanilla" is an ultra-sized 6'2" tall fat model who put out the kind of show that super FA "bigger the better" guys loved. After about two years and a 200-pound weight gain her FA show looks like it will end. In January 2020, she will be on "My 600 Pound Life".  She is the first person you see on this preview. 


On her show, she seemed happy with her mega-weight and even talked about gaining. Now she will probably be on a weight loss journey and her ultra fat positivity will come to a stop. It is a hard way of life to prefer or be a woman over 600 pounds because even if you find a girl who says she is ok with her weight usually she will change her mind and become a radical weight loss fanatic. Let's face facts no one or very very few like being immobilized by their fat over the long run. So we extreme FAs can make our dreams come true over the short run, but ultra fat sexual heaven is usually not meant to last, sad to say.


----------



## TwoSwords (Dec 13, 2019)

Super Fan said:


> It is a hard way of life to prefer or be a woman over 600 pounds because even if you find a girl who says she is ok with her weight usually she will change her mind and become a radical weight loss fanatic.



This is honestly my worst nightmare; far worse than being single. It's why I'm more concerned with the other person being an FA like me, rather than with how much they actually weigh. Worst case scenario, at least we'd have something to discuss (and could maybe play some fun games together.) Weight loss fanatics and I have absolutely no room for negotiation.


----------



## Blackjack (Dec 13, 2019)

She was very vocally anti-feedism, to the point that she was called vanilla with regard to her kinks related to the feedist community on Feabie.

She took that as an insult but decided to turn it into something... empowering? Or something? And made it her modeling name.

That was like two and a half years ago and since then she's been selling the fantasy to people that she's into something that she very openly hated.

It's no surprise that she's now losing the weight that she never wanted to put on.


----------



## Super Fan (Dec 13, 2019)

Yes, you are right TwoSwords, I love ultra-size women; over 500 pounds so I have had many of my relationships hit the rocks because of "weight loss journeys". Hey I love ultra fat women, I did not sign up for a dam "weight loss journey" - sorry.


----------



## Super Fan (Dec 13, 2019)

Blackjack, wow you are an insider, I was just a fan of her show and her body was absolutely incredible.


----------



## Volt01 (Dec 13, 2019)

this just frustrates me because i cant get a bbw girl and seeing this just ya know.


----------



## extra_m13 (Dec 14, 2019)

this is a good thread to talk about. vanilla... i have only seen her in a few videos. her gain is amazing and beyond what we normally see, of course she seemed ok with it but you really have to wonder how happy can you be if you can only walk a few meters and you get absolutely out of breath and your life span is reduced to whocares either way i am not really enjoying any of this. honestly, if anyone is willing to forgo all that there is in life so thay can keep on eating and gaining despite being attached to a bed, we must admit that it is an addiction at the same level of any other drug, alcohol, cocaine, etc


----------



## Volt01 (Dec 14, 2019)

extra_m13 said:


> this is a good thread to talk about. vanilla... i have only seen her in a few videos. her gain is amazing and beyond what we normally see, of course she seemed ok with it but you really have to wonder how happy can you be if you can only walk a few meters and you get absolutely out of breath and your life span is reduced to whocares either way i am not really enjoying any of this. honestly, if anyone is willing to forgo all that there is in life so thay can keep on eating and gaining despite being attached to a bed, we must admit that it is an addiction at the same level of any other drug, alcohol, cocaine, etc




yeah i get that


----------



## Super Fan (Dec 14, 2019)

extra-m13 Yea it is not "healthy" to weigh 800 pounds, it is not "healthy" to climb mountains where there is a 30% death rate, going to war on the front lines is not "healthy" scuba diving, race car driving, motorcycle racing, being a test pilot, being a pro-wrestler on steroids are all very dangerous things to do. The last thing I am going to do is scold my ultra-sized girlfriend because she hates exercise and wants to eat an entire extra large pizza. Shaming and scolding do not work, she would order pizzas delivered and eat the pizza behind my back. The truth is that I love her the way she is and her being that huge, for me is the biggest turn on that there is in life.


----------



## TwoSwords (Dec 14, 2019)

extra_m13 said:


> this is a good thread to talk about. vanilla... i have only seen her in a few videos. her gain is amazing and beyond what we normally see, of course she seemed ok with it but you really have to wonder how happy can you be if you can only walk a few meters and you get absolutely out of breath and your life span is reduced to whocares either way i am not really enjoying any of this. honestly, if anyone is willing to forgo all that there is in life so thay can keep on eating and gaining despite being attached to a bed, we must admit that it is an addiction at the same level of any other drug, alcohol, cocaine, etc



I don't need to admit anything of the kind. Addictions can be proven to exist with evidence, and I'd need some evidence relevant to addictions, in order to be sure of that.

That said, I get the whole "wanting to be able to still get around" thing. It makes sense to me. What does not make sense is when it shifts from "I want to join in the fun" to "I want to be thin." There was a woman I saw on YouTube a while back, who said that she liked being larger, puffier and softer, but she didn't like the actual *weight* itself; the actually-being-weighed-down, and I get that too. That's another reason why I'd rather have an FFA than just someone who happens to be very fat. There's many ways to simulate these kinds of experiences, without actually immobilizing yourself, and for me, that'd be enough, but it's rough on some other kinds of FAs.


----------



## Super Fan (Dec 14, 2019)

TwoSwords - Hmmm FFA as in Female Fat Admirer, then the guy would need to be fat himself to attract the FFA. Unless the Female Fat Admirer was bi-sexual and loved super fat females as much as you do. I heard about a guy who dated a FFA and they both were normal size but they both preferred super sized females to have threesomes with. So they were each other's excuses. They seemed to be a normal couple to their family and friends but behind closed doors, they were both having sex with their mega-fat girlfriend.


----------



## TwoSwords (Dec 14, 2019)

Super Fan said:


> TwoSwords - Hmmm FFA as in Female Fat Admirer, then the guy would need to be fat himself to attract the FFA. Unless the Female Fat Admirer was bi-sexual and loved super fat females as much as you do.



I'm not the size I'd like to be, but I'm not a skinny fellow either. I suppose in my case, I just have difficulty imagining being FA and not generally thinking that people/animals/snowmen/potato heads/etc look better fat than thin. I would expect an FFA to be able to understand that perspective and share in the fun.


----------



## Super Fan (Dec 15, 2019)

Two Swords, ok that makes sense. Yea, snowmen, potato heads, fat fetish models and Santa are always fat, but ballerinas, tightrope walkers & acrobatic dancing showgirls can't be over 300 pounds or they could not do their shows.


----------



## TwoSwords (Dec 15, 2019)

Super Fan said:


> Two Swords, ok that makes sense. Yea, snowmen, potato heads, fat fetish models and Santa are always fat, but ballerinas, tightrope walkers & acrobatic dancing showgirls can't be over 300 pounds or they could not do their shows.



Also ninjas. Can't forget them. 
But so long as someone isn't aspiring to be a ballerina, a tightrope walker, an acrobatic dancing showgirl, a ninja or a secret agent of some kind, I don't see what the big deal would be with thinness.


----------



## Rob hudson (Dec 15, 2019)

extra_m13 said:
this is a good thread to talk about. vanilla... i have only seen her in a few videos. her gain is amazing and beyond what we normally see, of course she seemed ok with it but you really have to wonder how happy can you be if you can only walk a few meters and you get absolutely out of breath and your life span is reduced to whocares either way i am not really enjoying any of this. honestly, if anyone is willing to forgo all that there is in life so thay can keep on eating and gaining despite being attached to a bed, we must admit that it is an addiction at the same level of any other drug, alcohol, cocaine, etc
# # #

I'm not sure I agree with that entirely. Gambling, drug, alcohol addictions, they are all poisonous to not only the addict but to those around them. Junkies and drunkies will steal, lie, injure or otherwise harm those around them to obtain the substance of their addiction. Gambling addicts will risk everything even unto the point of losing their homes and families to keep gambling. Where as someone who is addicted to gaining weight (if it can even be classified as an addiction, which I doubt) generally only harm themselves, if it can be classified as harm. Honestly, if they're happy doing it, can it be classified as harm? I've never heard of anyone starving their family because they like to gain weight. I think it's a life style choice, not an addiction. And I'm all for letting people make their own choices, so long as those choices aren't harmful to others. And having an extra pizza isn't harmful to anyone except the pizza lol.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 15, 2019)

Rob hudson said:


> extra_m13 said:
> this is a good thread to talk about. vanilla... i have only seen her in a few videos. her gain is amazing and beyond what we normally see, of course she seemed ok with it but you really have to wonder how happy can you be if you can only walk a few meters and you get absolutely out of breath and your life span is reduced to whocares either way i am not really enjoying any of this. honestly, if anyone is willing to forgo all that there is in life so thay can keep on eating and gaining despite being attached to a bed, we must admit that it is an addiction at the same level of any other drug, alcohol, cocaine, etc
> # # #
> 
> I'm not sure I agree with that entirely. Gambling, drug, alcohol addictions, they are all poisonous to not only the addict but to those around them. Junkies and drunkies will steal, lie, injure or otherwise harm those around them to obtain the substance of their addiction. Gambling addicts will risk everything even unto the point of losing their homes and families to keep gambling. Where as someone who is addicted to gaining weight (if it can even be classified as an addiction, which I doubt) generally only harm themselves, if it can be classified as harm. Honestly, if they're happy doing it, can it be classified as harm? I've never heard of anyone starving their family because they like to gain weight. I think it's a life style choice, not an addiction. And I'm all for letting people make their own choices, so long as those choices aren't harmful to others. And having an extra pizza isn't harmful to anyone except the pizza lol.



And I'm not sure that I agree with your assessment of addiction. For parents, immobilizing extra weight can harm the family unit. If you cannot care for yourself, much less your children or spouse, how is that not harmful?
Btw, I am a fat woman and a mother. My weight has jumped up and down over many years. Everyone's life is better when I do more/have more mobility. When I take up healthier eating, everyone in the house eats better. When I exercise regularly, I encourage others to do so. The family caregivers have a significant role in the health and happiness of those around them.


----------



## Rob hudson (Dec 15, 2019)

Green Eyed Fairy said:
For parents, immobilizing extra weight can harm the family unit. If you cannot care for yourself, much less your children or spouse, how is that not harmful?

# # #

I can see your point, but I don't think such a situation equates to the drunks and junks putting their habits over caring for their kids. Something I myself have experienced.


----------



## op user (Dec 15, 2019)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> And I'm not sure that I agree with your assessment of addiction. For parents, immobilizing extra weight can harm the family unit. If you cannot care for yourself, much less your children or spouse, how is that not harmful?
> Btw, I am a fat woman and a mother. My weight has jumped up and down over many years. Everyone's life is better when I do more/have more mobility. When I take up healthier eating, everyone in the house eats better. When I exercise regularly, I encourage others to do so. The family caregivers have a significant role in the health and happiness of those around them.



May I point out there is a significant difference between a young (or youngish) couple and a family with kids. When two adults are starting to see each other all those considerations referred to by GEF do not really apply and even they may be attractive. However when kids arrive it does require serious consideration as not to create undue problems on the family.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 15, 2019)

Rob hudson said:


> Green Eyed Fairy said:
> For parents, immobilizing extra weight can harm the family unit. If you cannot care for yourself, much less your children or spouse, how is that not harmful?
> 
> # # #
> ...



I'm a compulsive over eater and divorced from an alcoholic. We were a match made in heaven as co-dependents. I just didn't get arrested for DWI while shoving a big mac in my face when driving.
If you are trying to make a point about one type of addiction being "less harmless" than another then sure, I am with you. My issues with food is mainly killing myself and I don't miss work over it.
However, in your original post, you said you don't believe it's an addiction.
It is.....just in a different way. And I will even go one step further. You can put down alcohol and never drink again. I have to keep on eating though....
How is a person willing to "eat themselves to death" that much different than someone who drinks themself to death? See the parallel? It's not the "drug of choice" because everyone gets to pick their poison, but the same underlying problems of addicts across the board.


----------



## TwoSwords (Dec 15, 2019)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> For parents, immobilizing extra weight can harm the family unit. If you cannot care for yourself, much less your children or spouse, how is that not harmful?
> Btw, I am a fat woman and a mother. My weight has jumped up and down over many years. Everyone's life is better when I do more/have more mobility. When I take up healthier eating, everyone in the house eats better. When I exercise regularly, I encourage others to do so. The family caregivers have a significant role in the health and happiness of those around them.



I would say that the connection between weight and the other things you mention (healthier eating and regular exercise,) is either an indirect connection or a causal connection. However, we don't say that people have an addiction to yellow teeth, or an addiction to lung cancer. We say they're addicted to *cigarettes.* So we don't have any reason to think people can be "addicted" to gaining weight. It's just a (possible) consequence of other choices on the part of the people involved.
As for whether the immobile state causes harm to the family, I think it certainly can under specific conditions; just not because the person isn't able to be active. The definition of "harm" only covers physical or psychological injury. It doesn't refer to damage done to efficiency.
And incidentally, there are many people who will never have the same ability to care actively for their loved ones that we often take for granted. Many people suffer from serious injuries, paralysis or other conditions that limit their ability to get around, without the added benefits that fatness brings, and many of them can still find some level of happiness in a family unit.
I'm not saying you should eat unhealthy or stop exercising. Don't. It's good for you. I'm just saying; these are not unusual or unnatural problems, which need to be laid at the feet of addiction.


----------



## Colonial Warrior (Dec 15, 2019)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I am a fat woman and a mother. My weight has jumped up and down over many years. Everyone's life is better when I do more/have more mobility. When I take up healthier eating, everyone in the house eats better. When I exercise regularly, I encourage others to do so. The family caregivers have a significant role in the health and happiness of those around them.
> 
> I'm a compulsive over eater and divorced from an alcoholic. We were a match made in heaven as co-dependents.


I just have the same problem with over eating.

You just took the right path to deal with it.

You are a very strong woman in soul and spirit. My most sincere admiration for you!


----------



## Super Fan (Dec 16, 2019)

[QUOTE="TwoSwords, as long as you're not "a secret agent of some kind, I don't see what the big deal would be with thinness."[/QUOTE]
Hmmm Secret agent Baxter, Sara Baxter, 5'3" 576-pound seductress, her assignment is to seduce and gather information from Gregory Baranov who heads the anti-USA Russian spy operation "Project Chaos". Baranov is single and prefers women over 400 pounds. Agent Sara Baxter has all the physical qualities that Baranov craves. Sara's spy operations are to be made into a book & movie - "Agent 576 - Super Seductress"


----------



## Volt01 (Dec 16, 2019)

i think its just that things c an be dangerous, but nobodys gonna stop doing them, you need to live your life and make the most of it


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Dec 17, 2019)

Colonial Warrior said:


> I just have the same problem with over eating.
> 
> You just took the right path to deal with it.
> 
> You are a very strong woman in soul and spirit. My most sincere admiration for you!



Thank you. I don't always do the right thing but I will keep trying


----------



## Colonial Warrior (Dec 20, 2019)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Thank you. I don't always do the right thing but I will keep trying


Just like me!


----------



## TheStaunton (Dec 26, 2019)

FWIW, I think Vanilla is absolutely gorgeous, just a true and immense beauty

I think it's important to always note, SSBBWs are what I'm physically attracted to, and Vanilla is amazing, but if you meet "the one" and they want to lose weight, I don't want to be the asshole saying "no, stay 600lbs"

But am openly attracted to girls of SSBBW size, so it's an interesting balancing act


----------



## John Smith (Dec 26, 2019)

Blackjack said:


> She was very vocally anti-feedism, to the point that she was called vanilla with regard to her kinks related to the feedist community on Feabie.
> 
> She took that as an insult but decided to turn it into something... empowering? Or something? And made it her modeling name.
> 
> ...



How ironic.


----------



## TwoSwords (Dec 26, 2019)

TheStaunton said:


> FWIW, I think Vanilla is absolutely gorgeous, just a true and immense beauty
> 
> I think it's important to always note, SSBBWs are what I'm physically attracted to, and Vanilla is amazing, but if you meet "the one" and they want to lose weight, I don't want to be the asshole saying "no, stay 600lbs"
> 
> But am openly attracted to girls of SSBBW size, so it's an interesting balancing act



Yeah. I think that would make sense in your case, because (I hope I'm reading this right. Please correct me if I'm wrong.) it sounds like your attraction to fat is mainly to the straightforward, physical aspect; the fatness itself as a quality. I can definitely understand and appreciate that.

I'm the opposite, because I can deal with a person who *isn't* fat, just so long as they *love* fat. For me, the real harm wouldn't be the weight loss (this can happen purely by accident if she gets sick enough for a long enough period,) but the *desire* to lose weight. That's much more of a deal-breaker for me.


----------



## TheStaunton (Dec 26, 2019)

TwoSwords said:


> Yeah. I think that would make sense in your case, because (I hope I'm reading this right. Please correct me if I'm wrong.) it sounds like your attraction to fat is mainly to the straightforward, physical aspect; the fatness itself as a quality. I can definitely understand and appreciate that.
> 
> I'm the opposite, because I can deal with a person who *isn't* fat, just so long as they *love* fat. For me, the real harm wouldn't be the weight loss (this can happen purely by accident if she gets sick enough for a long enough period,) but the *desire* to lose weight. That's much more of a deal-breaker for me.



Can understand that

I'm physically attracted to size, the bigger the better, always have been, that's just innate

For me if I met "the one" though, and they were say 600lbs, and had to lose weight, I'd be in love with the person by that point, wouldn't put a roadblock up to them losing weight or dump them for that - there would be less physical attraction, but would still be in love with them as a person...

In terms of just a model etc, if someone like Vanilla loses a significant amount of weight, am less likely to look at their site or sub

Hope that makes sense


----------



## TwoSwords (Dec 26, 2019)

TheStaunton said:


> Can understand that
> 
> I'm physically attracted to size, the bigger the better, always have been, that's just innate
> 
> ...



Yes. That makes perfect sense.


----------



## Super Fan (Jan 6, 2020)

TheStaunton said:


> Can understand that
> 
> I'm physically attracted to size, the bigger the better, always have been, that's just innate
> 
> ...


 
Just about all doctors, family members & many friends tell just about all 600-pound women that they will die if they don't stick to a diet that works and since none of the diets really work, they tell them to get weight loss surgery. Most women of that size eventually get convinced by doctors, family and friends to get the surgery. Then the nightmare begins, the first three or so years most woman loose a massive amount of weight. Their friends & family tell them how great they look and many become weight loss fanatics during the first few years - "Oh I feel so much better and I look so much better". They constantly weigh themselves and torture you with daily updates. Some join gyms with groups of weight loss surgery participants and try to talk every fat woman they know and meet to get weight loss surgery. I wonder if they get kickbacks from the doctor for giving them more patients. 


This happened to me and everything that I loved about my girlfriend's body was decreasing drastically and getting surgically removed - like her incredibly sexy apron of fat and huge leg rolls. She expected me to join the gym and help her along with her weight loss surgery gang. I like the wilderness, hiking and camping but I hate gyms. She would go camping with me in cabins in the mountains for years before her WLS. With her weight loss, she told me she loved the beach and didn't like to go to the mountains like in her enormously fat days. I found her evangelistic weight loss crusade to be completely horrible and I detested being with her weight loss surgery anti-fat group. I found her to be the antithesis of the woman that I loved so we broke up. Now if the same common nightmare happens to you perhaps you will join her in the gym and help her try to convince every girl you find attractive to get weight loss surgery. You might still be in love with her weight loss crusading mind & put up with her thin & shrinking body - but as for me, I preferred meeting a new ultra sized lover with a fat positive personality.


----------



## TheStaunton (Jan 8, 2020)

Super Fan said:


> Just about all doctors, family members & many friends tell just about all 600-pound women that they will die if they don't stick to a diet that works and since none of the diets really work, they tell them to get weight loss surgery. Most women of that size eventually get convinced by doctors, family and friends to get the surgery. Then the nightmare begins, the first three or so years most woman loose a massive amount of weight. Their friends & family tell them how great they look and many become weight loss fanatics during the first few years - "Oh I feel so much better and I look so much better". They constantly weigh themselves and torture you with daily updates. Some join gyms with groups of weight loss surgery participants and try to talk every fat woman they know and meet to get weight loss surgery. I wonder if they get kickbacks from the doctor for giving them more patients.
> 
> 
> This happened to me and everything that I loved about my girlfriend's body was decreasing drastically and getting surgically removed - like her incredibly sexy apron of fat and huge leg rolls. She expected me to join the gym and help her along with her weight loss surgery gang. I like the wilderness, hiking and camping but I hate gyms. She would go camping with me in cabins in the mountains for years before her WLS. With her weight loss, she told me she loved the beach and didn't like to go to the mountains like in her enormously fat days. I found her evangelistic weight loss crusade to be completely horrible and I detested being with her weight loss surgery anti-fat group. I found her to be the antithesis of the woman that I loved so we broke up. Now if the same common nightmare happens to you perhaps you will join her in the gym and help her try to convince every girl you find attractive to get weight loss surgery. You might still be in love with her weight loss crusading mind & put up with her thin & shrinking body - but as for me, I preferred meeting a new ultra sized lover with a fat positive personality.



I get where you are coming from

That also involves a change of personality

My point was more I wasn't going to ditch someone just for losing weight, if I loved that person

That's just my opinion

But I would lose physical attraction to that person because I find larger = attractive

But I understand your point


----------



## Super Fan (Jan 13, 2020)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> How is a person willing to "eat themselves to death" that much different than someone who drinks themself to death?


There is a big difference - a person can live their life without drinking any alcohol, but everyone must eat to stay alive. So expecting an overeater to control their weight is the same as expecting an alcoholic to become a moderate drinker - the chances of success are very slim. There is a huge range of being overweight some live their lives being from 15 to 50 pounds overweight, others are 300 to + 500 pounds overweight. I know very thin people who want to gain weight, they under eat the same way that fat people overeat, a lot of it is programmed in their DNA. I believe that my preference for enormous women is programmed into my DNA, from my first memories I always loved everything about ultra-sized women.


----------



## BigElectricKat (Jan 27, 2020)

Whoa.


----------



## BigElectricKat (Jan 27, 2020)

*Addiction is a psychological and physical inability to stop consuming a chemical, drug, activity, or substance, even though it is causing psychological and physical harm.*

If you think food cannot be an addiction, you've got another think coming. Coupled with a sedentary lifestyle and subsequent weight gain, it is a very real and destructive addiction for some.


----------



## BigElectricKat (Jan 27, 2020)

So, am I reading some of this correctly? Some are attracted to fat, just plain fat and not necessarily the person that the fat comes with? You are less concerned with their overall health and more concerned about the weight they put on/maintain? So, you don't love the person but just love the weight? I'm just asking so that I'm clear on this.


----------



## TwoSwords (Jan 27, 2020)

BigElectricKat said:


> *Addiction is a psychological and physical inability to stop consuming a chemical, drug, activity, or substance, even though it is causing psychological and physical harm.*
> 
> If you think food cannot be an addiction, you've got another think coming. Coupled with a sedentary lifestyle and subsequent weight gain, it is a very real and destructive addiction for some.



By this definition, you could say food is an addiction, but you could also say water, warmth and sleep are "addictions" in the same way. A more precise definition would be needed, to differentiate between actual addictions, vs simple basic needs. Especially in the case of something like food, where it's actually *the* core requirement of survival.


----------



## TwoSwords (Jan 27, 2020)

BigElectricKat said:


> So, am I reading some of this correctly? Some are attracted to fat, just plain fat and not necessarily the person that the fat comes with? You are less concerned with their overall health and more concerned about the weight they put on/maintain? So, you don't love the person but just love the weight? I'm just asking so that I'm clear on this.



Attraction isn't the same thing as love, and neither is concern. I love lots of things that I'm not concerned about. Just so long as you're willing to act for the benefit of the one loved, personal preferences make little difference. I guess what I'm saying is that the view you're referring to is probably not as bad as you think it is, in this case.


----------



## Super Fan (Jan 28, 2020)

BigElectricKat said:


> So, am I reading some of this correctly? Some are attracted to fat, just plain fat and not necessarily the person that the fat comes with? You are less concerned with their overall health and more concerned about the weight they put on/maintain? So, you don't love the person but just love the weight? I'm just asking so that I'm clear on this.



I am attracted to ultra sized women physically but as far as love, that is another issue. Ideally, we would be compatible both physically & mentally and we would have a love relationship. I have met super attractive ultra sized women that I did not get along with mentally so that never works out. I have super relationships with thin girls that are non-sexual because I'm not sexually attracted to thin. So your answer is fat is very sexy but sexy is not everything, both love and sex are very important in a loving relationship.

Ok Big Electric Kat what if you met an attractive girl and fell in love with her but then discovered that she was a he. Then he stopped pretending he was a she and talked with his lower natural voice & grew his beard back & acted & looked like a man, would you still love him? I think you would bail out of that relationship the same way I would bail out of a relationship where my ultra sized girlfriend became a thin anti-fat diet & exercise fanatic.


----------



## BigElectricKat (Jan 28, 2020)

TwoSwords said:


> By this definition, you could say food is an addiction, but you could also say water, warmth and sleep are "addictions" in the same way. A more precise definition would be needed, to differentiate between actual addictions, vs simple basic needs. Especially in the case of something like food, where it's actually *the* core requirement of survival.


Food, water, warmth, and sleep are *necessities. *They are part of our basic needs as you've said. But you can, with effort stop all of these if you wish. Granted, you will probably die as a result (I don't think anyone could ever stop sleeping for an extended period of time as the body will see to it that you finally do). So probably we shouldn't quite say that someone is addicted to food but rather the sensations they feel when eating food. *BUT...* like many drugs, alcohol, and other vices, eating too much food (beyond what your body can adequately process) will kill you over time. Granted, for some it's a long time. Same thing with water. Drink too much water in a certain period of time and it will kill you. Jump into a fire for warmth? Kill you (or really f you up). Sleep too much? You guessed it. You die (especially if you don't get any food or water). So, *I will concede* that technically it's not food that's addicting but the feeling one gets when consuming food. Kinda like the feeling people get from doing cocaine, heroin, or meth. Or so I've heard.


----------



## BigElectricKat (Jan 28, 2020)

Super Fan said:


> Ok Big Electric Kat what if you met an attractive girl and fell in love with her but then discovered that she was a he. Then he stopped pretending he was a she and talked with his lower natural voice & grew his beard back & acted & looked like a man, would you still love him? I think you would bail out of that relationship the same way I would bail out of a relationship where my ultra sized girlfriend became a thin anti-fat diet & exercise fanatic.


While I get where you are coming from here, there is a basic flaw in your logic:
Your ultra-sized girlfriend generally isn't going to reverse course just cause she feels like it or is tired of being in whatever state she's in (this goes for guys too). The majority of ultra-sized folks who as you say "became thin, anti-fat" are largely due to a health crisis. Their life is on the line and they finally take it seriously enough to make drastic changes before it's too late. So, you're going to cast aspersions on someone (exercise fanatic) because they wanted to get their health right, just because you're attracted to ultra-sized women and they aren't anymore? I thought that if you loved somebody... forget it.

As for my extremely attractive transgender girlfriend, Andrea? First, I'm not falling in love with anybody until I check the plumbing. Second, if that's what she/he wants to do, more power to them. Lastly, and here's where the flaw comes in... There's a gender identity change here. Was a woman, is now a man. I'm a man who loves, Loves, LOVES women. And while I am supremely confident in my own masculinity (and not trans phobic), I'll go out on a limb and say I will love Andre (who was Andrea) like a friend but not as a lover because I'm the man in my relationships (that's how I roll). In your scenario, you just have a thinner woman (oh the horror!).


----------



## Ilegalpat (Jan 28, 2020)

From her posts on Feabie, it does not appear she got the surgery.


----------



## Super Fan (Jan 28, 2020)

Ilegalpat said:


> From her posts on Feabie, it does not appear she got the surgery.


Thank God for that.


----------



## TwoSwords (Jan 31, 2020)

I've been thinking for a few days about how to reply to this one...



BigElectricKat said:


> While I get where you are coming from here, there is a basic flaw in your logic:
> Your ultra-sized girlfriend generally isn't going to reverse course just cause she feels like it or is tired of being in whatever state she's in (this goes for guys too). The majority of ultra-sized folks who as you say "became thin, anti-fat" are largely due to a health crisis. Their life is on the line and they finally take it seriously enough to make drastic changes before it's too late. So, you're going to cast aspersions on someone (exercise fanatic) because they wanted to get their health right, just because you're attracted to ultra-sized women and they aren't anymore? I thought that if you loved somebody... forget it.



It's not aspersions. Sometimes people just drift apart, because they no longer hold the same values, goals or interests. That's a shame, because it means they had a relationship, and then one of them changed and the other didn't. Now, in most of these cases, where there have been sudden changes in this way, and the relationship has split up as a result, the media does tend to paint the pro-fat partner as the bad guy, but there are a few things to keep in mind about that. First, that we don't know where the evidence pointed. Doctors have a matter of policy to tell all fat people that they should lose weight for health reasons, to the point where obesity *itself* is considered a health crisis, and if they take a hard-line stance like that, how can we ever really trust what they have to say? Well, the answer would be; the evidence that they present. But it's rare for a typical GP to present much evidence at all of their claims, so if a doctor tells someone their fat is killing them, but offers no evidence of this, and in response, one party responds by panicking and quickly attempting something radical and dangerous (as weight loss often is, when pursued in itself,) and the other does not respond this way, this spawns a disagreement between the two, and therefore a divide in the relationship, if that disagreement gets serious enough. If Chloe is scared, and thinks losing weight will help, and Bob doesn't agree, and thinks it will only do greater harm, it would be irresponsible of Bob to actively assist her in doing something that he thinks will hurt her in the long run.

Secondly, people have Zero ability to tell their emotions what to do, aside from suppressing them entirely, and a suppressed relationship is no kind of relationship. This is why I can firmly say; no matter who a person is, they do not have a *right* to someone else's emotions. Love, understood in its purest sense, is acting for the betterment of the one loved. Because love is an action, it therefore is unrelated to our emotional state. So let's say Bob and Chloe both believe that losing weight will improve her health. Now, Bob loves Chloe deeply, but knows that his emotions will get in the way. In this case, Bob's most mature choice would be to tell Chloe that his feelings have been harmful to her, and the best thing he can do for her is to let her pursue this without interference from him. He may even choose to grow more distant from her entirely, either through actual separation/breakup (depending on whether they're married or not,) or (preferably in the case of marriages,) just by no longer spending those emotional moments with her as he once did. However, it's a better choice for him to make, because it shows he cares enough about her to suppress how he really feels; profound disappointment over the fate of their relationship.

Thirdly, Bob may actually want her to lose the weight, for what he sees as her own good, because he genuinely believes it will help her in some mysterious way. However, he knows that if his feelings remains a major factor in her life, it will be a "bad influence" on her, because he can never cheer-lead for her when she hits key goals, or be really happy when she succeeds. He may, therefore, actually believe that it's better for her to spend more time with her gym friends than with him, because they at least share a common understanding of what the end goal ought to be; one which is compatible with the "right" choice for her well-being. However, again, such a choice, though mature in its own way, causes distance in the relationship, because one person can change and the other can't.

There are ways to get around some of these issues with the *full* cooperation of both parties, but most of the time, those methods are rejected out of shame, distaste or pride (none of which should matter more than the success of the relationship.)

Anyway, the point is; changing your mind about something big is not to be taken lightly. You should never expect all your friends and relatives to change their minds as well, and that's especially true of FAs, who've been subjected to shame and ridicule from all corners for liking what they like, and who, in spite of that, have come through the fire, tempered, glittering and unharmed. To expect everyone who loves you to conform to your views is to see oneself as the center of the universe, and nothing can harm a relationship more than that.


----------

