# Why is feeding accepted?



## Rainahblue (Jun 22, 2006)

Hi all,
I'm still (relatively) new to this board, so perhaps I'm missing something. I honestly don't understand why feeding, weight gain, and the like, is accepted here. Not only is it accepted, it's encouraged: there's a completely separate forum specifically for weight gain, and the vast majority of the stories posted here are either about weight gain, feeding, or both. 

Why is that?

Feeding and weight gain are relatively new to me and I personally find them unappealing. This of course doesn't mean that I condemn or look down on anyone who practices it; it simply isn't for me. I'm just curious as to why it's accepted here. Perhaps it's because of this quote that I found while researching the topic:
"Being a feeder or feedee is not really a CHOICE, any more than one's sexual orientation is a choice."
If that's the case, that would make a world of difference in how I see this aspect of FA. My sexual orientation is definitely the way I_ am_ as opposed to being a choice, so I would certainly understand that. I just assumed it was a fetish like any other, but it struck me as demeaning because it's associated with weight. 

I am well aware that this is a controversial topic and I'm not attempting to offend, only to understand. I'd appreciate any input!

Thanks,
Rain​


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## MisticalMisty (Jun 22, 2006)

Because as Conrad has said on several occassions Dimensions was started as a place for FAs to come and explore their preferences. A lot of people are into feeding and weight gain..it will always be apart of the fat culture and why not create a place where those people can go and explore that side of them in a safe environment.

If you read the stories on the story bored..alot of them include weight gain. Why? I can only guess that when a guy likes a fat girl he wants to see her remain fat or get fatter. Sometimes it's about fantasy..and some times it's about reality.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jun 22, 2006)

I was thinking about this. I think it's cool if it's a fetish, something people like to practice on occassion, but as a lifestyle 24/7 thing... Weird! 

If someone says, "The thought of you getting fatter is so damned hot and it would totally get my rocks off if we went to Krispy Kreme and came home and I got to watch you eat a dozen doughnuts naked once in awhile," I might think it's a little odd, but what the hell? I'm a giver when it comes to me eating naked. 

If a gal or guy told me, "I'd be much more sexually attracted to you if you gained 100 lbs.," well, I'd pimp slap them. Same goes if they asked me to lose twenty. Don't like my body? There's a myriad of women who are thinner/fatter than I am.

I definately view this as more of a fetish or paraphilia than I do an orientation. If it were truly an orientation, it wouldn't matter who they were feeding, but most of these people are markedly bisexual, gay, or straight.


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## Tina (Jun 22, 2006)

Rain, I don't believe being a feeder or feedee is an orientation; I do believe it's a choice, or maybe even a drive, but not an orientation.

Still, please do not confuse fat admiration with feederism, as they are separate and not all men have feeder fantasies -- and let us be clear with this, most guys who are into this are into the fantasy and would not even do it in real life in anything more than a sex play situation even if they could. For many, it is the thought of a soft, fat woman becoming even moreso that turns them on. Beyond that I can't say, as I'm just going from my observations and what I've been told, so who knows?

Yes, there *are* a few guys out there who really want to be feeders, and who end up finding some poor, needy fat woman to feed, and they get her fat enough to have trouble caring for themselves, and then the guy loses interest and leaves her for someone else so he can repeat the cycle. These guys are, IMO, true scum. But fortunately they are in the minority. 

There is a sort of dominance feeder fantasy and then a sort of lust for big, huge, happy feedees. In all, though, most of it is just fantasy.


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## Dibaby35 (Jun 22, 2006)

I think you guys are missing the reason why she is posting. From what I took from her post is that she feels a little uncomfortable with the feeder/weight gain posts and why are they posted in the Main Dimensions Board section when there are other specific sections talking about those topics. 

So why don't those threads get moved to their appropriate areas? I dunno. Good question.

I also believe feeding is a fetish. Have a nice day


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## Seth Warren (Jun 22, 2006)

So, I guess it's not a good idea to ask you out to dinner then? *ducks*


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## 1300 Class (Jun 22, 2006)

Thats why there is this board, to discuss this particulary facet that is part of the community - regardless of how it is viewed, it is part of the community nonetheless. And I think that Fat Admiration is quite different from feeding - and the two are not mutually inclusive of each other. Its quite feasible to have one without the other. I think most of it comes down to a fantasy issue. And thats where it stays, untangible, but existing.


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## Tina (Jun 22, 2006)

I don't think it had anything to do about the post being on the Main Board; I think it's the reaction of a person who has learned about feederism for the first time and isn't quite so fond of it, or is confused. Could be wrong, though.


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## squurp (Jun 22, 2006)

Tina, 

As a member of the weight gain community,I do believe for some it is something more than a fetish. While there may not be a perfect word for it, "orientation" is a close description. The fat is, it is an internal, unchanging drive. For me it is easily on par as far as strength, as my attraction to women. In other words, if I say I am straight, it is equal in meaning to my saying I am a feedee, or that I prefer to date larger women. 

I hope this is not perceived as shalllow. I some women on this board have made compliments that men see women just as sacks of fat. That just isn't a very good understanding of it at all, and I am sorry thta some women feel that way.


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## The Educator (Jun 22, 2006)

Many people on these boards seem to believe feederism is a fetish and fat admiration just a preference, but I disagree.

A fetish is a sexual obsession, so unless weight-gain is almost absolutely required for sexual arousal it is not a fetish, therefore I believe it is generally just a sexual fantasy, which some feeders may choose to make a reality and others not. On the other hand fat admiration can be a fetish or a preference as whether it is almost absolutely required for sexual arousal or is not varies much among FA's.


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## GordoNegro (Jun 22, 2006)

Technically on the larger side of things (bad pun) its not accepted.
Naafa refuses to have anything to with those consenting adults who participate in the lifestyle.
With the dominant male feeder submissive feedee stereotype there is always that 'control' issue with 2 consenting adults.
Though little is said of the ssbhm and ssbbw who add to their frames over the years of being together as well.
I remember the old weight board from moons ago when it was more feeder/feedee centered but with time and 'mainstream' popularity its focus was more diluted.
Though when you look at things, it is really nothing new.
Like the girlfriend you may have who always talks publically of dieting but has easy access to the chocolate and twinkie stash between closed doors.
The parent who encourages that their child's plate be clean and not scraped of excess food to show that their hard earned $ was not wasted.
The comfort level couples have who 'let themselves' go after being with each other for a period of time, or the pregnant friend who does the same thing for the same reason as well.
Overall its like getting put in a corner, like the bast)() stepchild no one mentions unless necessary. 
Technically, other than here and a few true yahoo groups, there is no where else really to go to know you're not demented, perverted controlling obsessed freak to be shunned by the greater society. 
I know the previous threads mentioned a fetish or choice but I have to lean towards orientation as a whole. Visions at a prepubescent age, changes within your preferences and attractions. Knowing certain actions more often take place when someone falls within your preferences and attractions.
Just my 2 cents.


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## Totmacher (Jun 22, 2006)

Who said it's accepted? There are times, all too frequently, when it would be a strain to say it's tolerated. I think feeding is allowed here because what we're hoping for is understanding: I think that the ultimate goal is to have it be familliar enough that when someone says, " I'm a feeder" a) (s)he doesn't need to have balls of steel and b) everybody else doesn't assume that he/she's not some sort of dysfunctional, misogynist/misanthrope, BDSM obsessed, predator the same way that in some social circles people still automatically assume you're homosexual or have self esteem issues if you say that you, "prefer a girl with some meat on her bones." 

My personal views on the subject is that it's difficult to make generalizations about feederism. For some it's a fetish, for others it's just something you did once to spice things up in the bedroom, and, I like to think, the majority of people fall somewhere in the middle.


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## NFA (Jun 22, 2006)

Its here because the people running the site want it to be here. I would not associate that with acceptance. Indeed, I don't think it is remotely appropriate to associate feederism with FA's at all. They are two fundamentally different, and I would say opposing interests. Some feederists don't like to respect that difference and insist on regarding the activities as a functional of fat admiration. Some promote the idea that this is the only way to be a "true" FA. I just don't believe that is remotely fair. This site provides a forum for them to occupy themselves and I won't attack them here for what they do, but I will point out that this is not about being an FA. Being an FA is describing a physical attraction. Not a fascination with a process. They can be confused as similiar, but they simply aren't. Being an FA has nothing to do with a desire to grow one's own fat women.

Furthermore, feederism is by nature oppositional to fat acceptance/size acceptance. If we're to set a standard of what makes someone a "true" FA, I think a committment to the size acceptance is a lot better place to start than opposing it through feederism.


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## Chimpi (Jun 22, 2006)

I believe the great aspect about it all is that Conrad is gracious enough to let it be accepted and talked about in this community, which is wonderful. It certainly is a form of fetish/reality that SHOULD be accepted on this type of board. A feeder feeds _food_ to a feedee. Men/Women are fat because of _food_ (whether they ate too much of it, or their body didn't 'work correctly' in taking care of its fair share when food has been ingested). To me, a safe-haven for fat people (E.G. Dimensions), should certainly include such an aspect (be it fetish or aspect of life).
It is comparable to a workaholic for people with jobs, methinks.
I've known of (not known personally) people who "get off" on the darndest things (Anal flatulance... Peeing/Bowels... ), so it is perfectly normal for someone to get off on feeding someone, or being fed.

Personally, I see nothing wrong with it. I do not consider myself a feeder, per se, but am welcome to the discussion of it and feedee's.  Very open to it.

All in all, thank you Conrad, and *shrugs* Don't know what else. I go now.


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Jun 22, 2006)

Why _shouldn't_ it be accepted? Yes, it has to do with weight. I think that anybody trying to alter their weight deserves support and praise, since almost everything I learn about the body opens me to ways it opposes any attempt to change it. Why should people sexually interested in weight gain be chastised or ridiculed or exiled from these communities?


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## exile in thighville (Jun 22, 2006)

Tina said:


> Rain, I don't believe being a feeder or feedee is an orientation; *I do believe it's a choice, or maybe even a drive, but not an orientation.*
> Still, please do not confuse fat admiration with feederism, as they are separate and not all men have feeder fantasies -- and let us be clear with this, most guys who are into this are into the fantasy and would not even do it in real life in anything more than a sex play situation even if they could. For many, it is the thought of a soft, fat woman becoming even moreso that turns them on. Beyond that I can't say, as I'm just going from my observations and what I've been told, so who knows?
> 
> *Yes, there *are* a few guys out there who really want to be feeders*, and who end up finding some poor, needy fat woman to feed, and they get her fat enough to have trouble caring for themselves, and then the guy loses interest and leaves her for someone else so he can repeat the cycle. These guys are, IMO, true scum. But fortunately they are in the minority.
> ...



it's not a choice. believe me, my world would be much easier if i never had to explain to another girlfriends why the fantasy of force feeding her would turn me on. my own fetish makes me sick sometimes and while i'm proud of being unique, just like many bbws would rather be thin just because it's EASIER to be the norm


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## Totmacher (Jun 23, 2006)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> Why _shouldn't_ it be accepted? Yes, it has to do with weight. I think that anybody trying to alter their weight deserves support and praise, since almost everything I learn about the body opens me to ways it opposes any attempt to change it. Why should people sexually interested in weight gain be chastised or ridiculed or exiled from these communities?



If memory serves the rhetoric goes, "We're here because we're revolting against people who want to change our bodies by forcing unrealistic ideals on us and controlling what we eat and do. How _dare_ you have the _audacity_ to have physical aspirations for us? How can you _enjoy_ observing and changing people's eating habits? That's almost *admitting* to wanting to change people's eating habits and body shape! You're an evil dominating control freak!" etc. etc. ad nauseum with various ignored protests and drowned out explanations.


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## fatlane (Jun 23, 2006)

Rationally, it's a fantasy.

Realistically, actually getting a chance to talk with someone who _enjoys_ becoming fatter is an incredible, mind-blowing experience for a feeder. It can be a mutual relationship or one with elements of dom/sub behavior, not necessarily with the man being the dom. In fact, it's interesting to consider the hunger itself as the dom in the relationship with both the feeder and the feedee being subs to that hunger.

Some people try it to see if they can get into it, but the ones who really like it... they're already into it. They know EXACTLY what to say, how to say it, and what the partner is experiencing when those things are said.

In the reality of the world, yes, I have to accept nobody is ever going to be a bajilliondy pounds. That's insane. So, in fantasy, there has to be the imagining that it's all possible, even if it's only for a role-playing scenario.

There are also people who want to be inflated and explode during sex. The rational ones know it's ONLY a fantasy, but that doesn't stop them from writing stories, drawing pictures, and mentioning certain scenes from shows or movies in hushed voices to other inflationists.

Personally, I truly do find a large woman to be more physically attractive than a woman of an otherwise identical appearance. That's size preference. I also treat other people equally, regardless of size. That's size acceptance. Do I enjoy hearing someone gained a little weight? OH MAN THAT IS A TURN ON. If they tell me what they ate, specifically, that's pretty much their words having sex with my mind, right there.

If a woman ate a cookie and said, "Now I'm fatter after eating that cookie," the feeders would go nuts over that. If she asked to have one of them give her another cookie so she could get 0,000067 ounces fatter, they'd kill each other over who got to give her that cookie. Never mind the acutal gain is all-but negligible. To the feeder, it's a gain, so it counts. Ditto for the feedee.

Some insist on the acutality of the experience. OK, they lack imagination. But going back to TSL's example, if a woman ate a box of crullers and then moaned about how she was going to be a bajilliondy pounds all through a sexual encounter, only to keep up with her real-life sensible diet afterward, I could understand and appreciate that. She only has to be fat and getting fatter during sex. The rest of the time, she's a person.

I've been describing from a male point of view, but it also applies in the other direction and in same-sex scenarios. The turn on is that the food is making the lover more of what he/she already is, and that's just so damn HOTTT!

Put another way, A FA wishes Anna Nicole Smith would go back to being fat. A FA who's also a feeder would want to be there as Anna Nicole Smith _became_ fatter.

There's not a lot of opportunity for that in reality, so that's why there's so much fantasy about it.


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## UncannyBruceman (Jun 23, 2006)

Tina said:


> Rain, I don't believe being a feeder or feedee is an orientation; I do believe it's a choice, or maybe even a drive, but not an orientation
> .



Precisely. Everyone's got their little fetish, including us FA's. There are those who like squashing, those who like face-sitting, and people like me who enjoy feeding. The concept of weightgain is extremely erotic to me...nothing charms me better than a woman who is comfortable in her skin and can enjoy a nice dinner without any guilt. It's not a sub/dom thing like most people assume.
Furthermore, like my good friend Mikey and I have said, 97% of Dimensions women deny being feedees and the other 3% are telling the truth. Not all of the girls wake up in the morning with the goal of getting fatter by bedtime, but most of the girls are quite comfortable with us treating them to their favorite cuisines and desserts and being admired when the weight goes up. If that theory relates to you, then welcome to the 97 percentile. If not, then have fun on the Main Board and leave us to our fantasies.


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## fatlane (Jun 23, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> Precisely. Everyone's got their little fetish, including us FA's. There are those who like squashing, those who like face-sitting, and people like me who enjoy feeding. The concept of weightgain is extremely erotic to me...nothing charms me better than a woman who is comfortable in her skin and can enjoy a nice dinner without any guilt. It's not a sub/dom thing like most people assume.
> Furthermore, like my good friend Mikey and I have said, 97% of Dimensions women deny being feedees and the other 3% are telling the truth. Not all of the girls wake up in the morning with the goal of getting fatter by bedtime, but most of the girls are quite comfortable with us treating them to their favorite cuisines and desserts and being admired when the weight goes up. If that theory relates to you, then welcome to the 97 percentile. If not, then have fun on the Main Board and leave us to our fantasies.



Ooooh, man, you're gonna get _such_ a flame for that 97% comment.

To be sure, there are the foodees. They just like eating and then having sex. They don't particularly like being reminded they're getting fatter. They just accept that as part of the territory. If they wanna eat, they're gonna get fat.

There are women who get into the art of being fat, who neither gain nor lose, but dream of posing in the nude and being celebrated as fantastic subjects for artistic photography. They're also hot, but they're not into the idea of becoming anything physically different.

A true feedee, a TRUE feedee... the true feedee will deliberately keep all her clothing on, just to see what happens to it after downing a quart of ice cream... then talk about it with someone else to see what his reaction will be...

I gotta go write a story, now. BRB.


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## Tina (Jun 23, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> Precisely. Everyone's got their little fetish, including us FA's. There are those who like squashing, those who like face-sitting, and people like me who enjoy feeding. The concept of weightgain is extremely erotic to me...nothing charms me better than a woman who is comfortable in her skin and can enjoy a nice dinner without any guilt. It's not a sub/dom thing like most people assume.
> Furthermore, like my good friend Mikey and I have said, 97% of Dimensions women deny being feedees and the other 3% are telling the truth. Not all of the girls wake up in the morning with the goal of getting fatter by bedtime, but most of the girls are quite comfortable with us treating them to their favorite cuisines and desserts and being admired when the weight goes up. If that theory relates to you, then welcome to the 97 percentile. If not, then have fun on the Main Board and leave us to our fantasies.



I agree with this, Bruce. That's why the board is here, after all. I pick and choose what I read and if I don't like something I move on. I have no desire to re-make the board into something else, and find that the Weight Board and the Library both serve their purposes.

By the same token, I have my own little fantasies about sex and eating, and even though I've lost weight and am continuing to slowly lose, I can get next to the idea of something like what FLO was talking about with mixing the sex and food and fantasy, and then go back to daily life. I have no desire to be an immobile captive of my bedroom; I want to live and enjoy life to its fullest as much as possible. But I also can see the other side of it that has to do with love of food, the sensuality of it, and playing that role for a little while (especially if that role involves home made whipped cream...  ).


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## RedVelvet (Jun 23, 2006)

NFA said:


> Its here because the people running the site want it to be here. I would not associate that with acceptance. Indeed, I don't think it is remotely appropriate to associate feederism with FA's at all. They are two fundamentally different, and I would say opposing interests. Some feederists don't like to respect that difference and insist on regarding the activities as a functional of fat admiration. Some promote the idea that this is the only way to be a "true" FA. I just don't believe that is remotely fair. This site provides a forum for them to occupy themselves and I won't attack them here for what they do, but I will point out that this is not about being an FA. Being an FA is describing a physical attraction. Not a fascination with a process. They can be confused as similiar, but they simply aren't. Being an FA has nothing to do with a desire to grow one's own fat women.
> 
> Furthermore, feederism is by nature oppositional to fat acceptance/size acceptance. If we're to set a standard of what makes someone a "true" FA, I think a committment to the size acceptance is a lot better place to start than opposing it through feederism.




I really, REALLY couldn't agree more. I think it best not to state my true and complete feelings regarding feederism vs. fat acceptance, let alone feederism in general....because I lot of people on this board would instantly loathe me... But you really nailed it in a way that is far less inflammatory than I would have managed to do if I really said what I felt here.

I am extreeeemely open minded person when it comes to lifestyle. I mean...I am a submissive, formally collared to a Dominant and I am kinky as hell.

And yet, feederism disturbs me enourmously....and I think it is as different from fat acceptance as it can be, in spite of what it looks like on the outside.

Very tricky subject. Me no touchee no more.


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## William (Jun 23, 2006)

Hi 

I am defiantly not into feeding for myself and do not think that it is right for women or men, I just want to stay around the weight I am.

I really like the FFA/BHM section of Dimensions even though there is a lot of feeding mixed in there, but I also know that even saying that I like one part of Dimensions can close a lot of doors for me in Fat Acceptance. It happened to me 2 weeks ago on a blog, but I think that the person was mentally off balance anyway 

William




Dibaby35 said:


> I think you guys are missing the reason why she is posting. From what I took from her post is that she feels a little uncomfortable with the feeder/weight gain posts and why are they posted in the Main Dimensions Board section when there are other specific sections talking about those topics.
> 
> So why don't those threads get moved to their appropriate areas? I dunno. Good question.
> 
> I also believe feeding is a fetish. Have a nice day


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## exile in thighville (Jun 23, 2006)

squurp said:


> Tina,
> 
> As a member of the weight gain community,I do believe for some it is something more than a fetish. While there may not be a perfect word for it, "orientation" is a close description. The fat is, it is an internal, unchanging drive. For me it is easily on par as far as strength, as my attraction to women. In other words, if I say I am straight, it is equal in meaning to my saying I am a feedee, or that I prefer to date larger women.
> 
> I hope this is not perceived as shalllow. I some women on this board have made compliments that men see women just as sacks of fat. That just isn't a very good understanding of it at all, and I am sorry thta some women feel that way.



it's a fetish, not an orientation. as a member of the "dictionary" community, i can testify that the eating/feeding/fat are fetishized actions/body parts. an orientation is simply the type of person you prefer (aka bbws) whereas feedees are merely willing participants for a fetish.


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## exile in thighville (Jun 23, 2006)

The Educator said:


> Many people on these boards seem to believe feederism is a fetish and fat admiration just a preference, but I disagree.
> 
> A fetish is a sexual obsession, so unless weight-gain is almost absolutely required for sexual arousal it is not a fetish, therefore I believe it is generally just a sexual fantasy, which some feeders may choose to make a reality and others not. On the other hand fat admiration can be a fetish or a preference as whether it is almost absolutely required for sexual arousal or is not varies much among FA's.



again, i call bullshit. feederism _is_ a sexual obsession. it's an incredibly potent fantasy that for the handful of practicioners i know and myself, cannot get aroused without. who said it has to be a reality for it to be obsessed over? oftentimes the thoughts and fantasies themselves help during "normal" sex, or even some roleplaying or feedng during foreplay is enough. and minus the sex, coming to see the pictures and stories here helps


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## exile in thighville (Jun 23, 2006)

William said:


> Hi
> 
> I am defiantly not into feeding for myself and *do not think that it is right for women or men*, I just want to stay around the weight I am.
> 
> ...



are you sure it was "that person" on the blog who was "mentally off balance"? because the mental balance in the first bolded statement to me seems more off than george walker bush at a spelling bee.


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## Tina (Jun 23, 2006)

squurp said:


> Tina,
> 
> As a member of the weight gain community,I do believe for some it is something more than a fetish.



Just to clarify, I never said it was a fetish. I don't really believe it's an orientation, but really, I'm not invested in it and wouldn't know for sure anyway, so that's up to you to define for yourself.


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## William (Jun 23, 2006)

Hi Dan

Well I think that banning a person from their Blog and threatening to report their IP simply because they posted on Dimension (she stated that is the reason) is a little extreme, and she did it with such venom 

William





dan ex machina said:


> are you sure it was "that person" on the blog who was "mentally off balance"? because the mental balance in the first bolded statement to me seems more off than george walker bush at a spelling bee.


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## fatlane (Jun 23, 2006)

Tina said:


> Just to clarify, I never said it was a fetish. I don't really believe it's an orientation, but really, I'm not invested in it and wouldn't know for sure anyway, so that's up to you to define for yourself.



It's a sort of fetish-y orientation within a larger preference for the larger.


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## AnnMarie (Jun 23, 2006)

And back to the main questions, it's here (and the chat room for it) because Dimensions attempts to embrace the pursuit of fantasy, and for some people, this is an aspect of it. 

As Conrad has stated, and I'm paraphrasing because I can't find his exact quote at the moment - "Don't mistake tolerance for approval/personal involvement"... (something to that effect). 

This community has a place for it, so it's here. The WLS Board is the same thing.... not something that everyone likes or wants or supports, but it has a place here, so it has it's own board and place here for posters. 

It's isolation is not for putting it on a pedestal, it's for leaving it in a place where those who want it can find it, and those with no interest can stay clear. 

Hope that helps.


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## exile in thighville (Jun 23, 2006)

William said:


> Hi Dan
> 
> Well I think that banning a person from their Blog and threatening to report their IP simply because they posted on Dimension (she stated that is the reason) is a little extreme, and she did it with such venom
> 
> William



sigh. another point missed.


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## UncannyBruceman (Jun 23, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Ooooh, man, you're gonna get _such_ a flame for that 97% comment.



Actually, I'd like to think that I made myself pretty clear. I've seen girls adamantly deny that they have any interest in feederism whatsoever. Next thing I know, they're telling me that they stopped worrying about dieting and they're bragging to me whenever they stuff themselves or notice when their clothes are tighter.

Feederism has gotten a bad reputation around here mostly because of the sub/dom aspect of it. Let the record show that I have never tied any girls to my bed and fed them through a tube. Instead, I insist that we lie naked in bed so that she can eat and I can caress her lovingly. That's how it's always been, and all my girls have gained. And let the record also show that they enjoyed the admiration that came along with it.

When girls see the softer side of feederism (with me, anyway), they tend to play along and enjoy the game.


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## fatlane (Jun 23, 2006)

In fact, Uncanny, I don't recall anyone ever fantasizing about being chained down and forced. It's nearly always "soft", as you say it.

It's not rape. It's dessert in bed.


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## AnnMarie (Jun 23, 2006)

fatlane said:


> In fact, Uncanny, I don't recall anyone ever fantasizing about being chained down and forced. It's nearly always "soft", as you say it.
> 
> It's not rape. It's dessert in bed.



Mmm, dessert. 

I don't think I care where I eat it, frankly. 

And I think Bruce is right, but to me his phrasing it off slightly. I think you can be into eating food, have NO desire to gain weight, and then not be a liar when you say you're not into feeding. 

The issue is the end result. Is the end result I got a nice treat and enjoyed it and you were happy to get it for me, give it to me?? Then great, we're all happy. If that's your end goal in feeding, then yes... I'm into feeding? Eh, ok. 

But traditionally, feeding is about all that plus weight gain as the intended end result. In that case, then no, I'm not into feeding. I am not interested in gaining weight. I'm beyond my point physically where I'm in the "eh, if I gain a bunch, that's fine... " I don't want to put on more weight, I enjoy my life, mobility, and health FAR too much. 

But I think you're right.... there are a lot of knee-jerk NOs going around from people who don't really get all the subtle aspects to what could be involved in the fantasy/activity. Simply being comfortable, eating what you'd like, and letting your guy enjoy that process is not a bad thing... just chill out and be yourself (meaning exactly that, do nothing for another person that you wouldn't do otherwise.)

Anyway, that's all from me.


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## MissToodles (Jun 23, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> Mmm, dessert.
> 
> But I think you're right.... there are a lot of knee-jerk NOs going around from people who don't really get all the subtle aspects to what could be involved in the fantasy/activity. Simply being comfortable, eating what you'd like, and letting your guy enjoy that process is not a bad thing... just chill out and be yourself (meaning exactly that, do nothing for another person that you wouldn't do otherwise.)
> 
> Anyway, that's all from me.


Sometimes I think those things go too far. It's just when you truly care about someone, you should also support them and make sure they are healthy and happy. Encouraging someone who is already supersized to eat more is amoral (although there is a gray area). 

in all fairness, I also do not have to read this board.


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## AnnMarie (Jun 23, 2006)

MissToodles said:


> Sometimes I think those things go too far. It's just when you truly care about someone, you should also support them and make sure they are healthy and happy. Encouraging someone who is already supersized to eat more is amoral (although there is a gray area).
> 
> in all fairness, I also do not have to read this board.




I said nothing, just to be perfectly clear, about feeding anyone MORE than they'd eat. I'm talking about... Hmm, I feel like dessert, want to get me some? 

Once again, I'm not into gaining, nor particularly interested in feeder fantasies. I do like food.


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## MissToodles (Jun 23, 2006)

maybe it was just a few creeps I've encountered in the past.


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## William (Jun 23, 2006)

Hi Dan

I do think that everyone has to feel that feeding is OK and it is OK for me to say that I do not think that it is right.

My point was.

If I had a Blog I would not ban you from it because you may approve of feeding. I certainly would not ban anyone who dared to post on the same forum as people who enjoy feeding.

That is one of the reasons that I think the lady was fruit loops

William




dan ex machina said:


> sigh. another point missed.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 23, 2006)

Man, everybody likes food. Yanking the chain of someone who likes when girls eat is so easy it's like falling off of a log. If she knows it turns you on she's gonna put on a tight nighty that makes her ass sore and coo, "Ooooo, I've been a bad bad girl," even though she spent the whole day at home in a t-shirt eating cereal and diet gingerale. 

My clothes are tighter every month round the same time. If I wanted to get laid - which usually goes without saying 'round that time - I'd exploit it, sure. You can't use the tricks of the female trade as a litmus test for a mindset. It's not beyond a woman's capability to say anything to get up your kilt.  It kinda works out for everybody until you begin to notice a few months later that she's stayed round the same dress size as the day you met give or take. Either that or she'll go on a diet to avoid having to blow all her money on a new summer wardrobe. 

I'm not saying there aren't women like that who exist, just that the numbers may not be as high as you think.




UncannyBruceman said:


> Actually, I'd like to think that I made myself pretty clear. I've seen girls adamantly deny that they have any interest in feederism whatsoever. Next thing I know, they're telling me that they stopped worrying about dieting and they're bragging to me whenever they stuff themselves or notice when their clothes are tighter.
> 
> Feederism has gotten a bad reputation around here mostly because of the sub/dom aspect of it. Let the record show that I have never tied any girls to my bed and fed them through a tube. Instead, I insist that we lie naked in bed so that she can eat and I can caress her lovingly. That's how it's always been, and all my girls have gained. And let the record also show that they enjoyed the admiration that came along with it.
> 
> When girls see the softer side of feederism (with me, anyway), they tend to play along and enjoy the game.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jun 23, 2006)

LillyBBBW said:


> Man, everybody likes food. Yanking the chain of someone who likes when girls eat is so easy it's like falling off of a log. If she knows it turns you on she's gonna put on a tight nighty that makes her ass sore and coo, "Ooooo, I've been a bad bad girl," even though she spent the whole day at home in a t-shirt eating cereal and diet gingerale.
> 
> My clothes are tighter every month round the same time. If I wanted to get laid - which usually goes without saying 'round that time - I'd exploit it, sure. You can't use the tricks of the female trade as a litmus test for a mindset. It's not beyond a woman's capability to say anything to get up your kilt.  It kinda works out for everybody until you begin to notice a few months later that she's stayed round the same dress size as the day you met give or take. Either that or she'll go on a diet to avoid having to blow all her money on a new summer wardrobe.
> 
> I'm not saying there aren't women like that who exist, just that the numbers may not be as high as you think.





You hit my nail on the head, lol. Im not into feeding/gaining...but by golly I am into eating with that "look" in my eye to get me some when it is needed, lol.

I don't think I have to be "into it" to push some sexy buttons. 

It's all about knowing the score....for me. In my group, I post some eating pics....and well...what people don't know....is all it takes for some great pics is a couple of bites, lol. But shhhh dont tell anyone. 

I am into sexual/erotic eating....not eating so that I can't move (though I have done that on a few thanksgivings, lol...it is more misery than sexy)....but enjoying some chocolate covered strawberries in bed is hella erotic, lol. I wish I could explain myself better, lol....but this will have to do. Not a feedee....not into wg..actually on a diet....just a cute ssbbw who likes to be treated like a princess once in a while, lol.

But as far as feeders being on the board.....Dimensions has always been about acceptance of fat lifestyle(s). And as far as feeders being here....I know I have been around a few years....but "they" were here first...some were founding members...and to just sweep them under the rug...well that just isn't cool, lol.

And as far as the statistic...lol...where do the genetically fat chicks (pcos...fun, yay!) who just want to maintain fit in? lol.

And I realise this may be one of the most rambling, uneducated posts on the boards right now....but it's summer. My brain is on summer break...will return in Sept...until then...go easy, lol


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## fatlane (Jun 23, 2006)

How to turn a feeder on in three easy steps:

1. Take a picture of you with a huge pile of cookies in front of you. Have an excited expression, like you're about to eat them all.

2. Take a picture of you with an empty plate with numerous suggestive crumbs on it by your side. Lean all the way back, arch your back up so your belly sticks out extra far, turn your head to one side and have an expression on your face like you just ate every one of those cookies and there's only one hunger left in your mind. Never mind that you had maybe two and the rest are in the jar. 

3. Post the pictures on the Internet and _just say_ you ate them all.

You don't even have to take your clothes off, although unbuttoning your pants so you and "breathe" in the second photo helps convey the illusion.

Videos are a little trickier and require more steps.

But look, ma! No S&M or Dom/Sub behavior!


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## MissToodles (Jun 23, 2006)

Why all the fuckin' sweets? Can a feedee pose with a side of beef, and go " I'm going to eat half a cow"? Or must it be cookies or cake or a milkshake etc etc.


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## Totmacher (Jun 23, 2006)

Depends on the feeder. I've no qualms about watching a girl annihilate livestock.


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## fatlane (Jun 24, 2006)

Candy has a more relaxed feel to it. Softer, for the boudoir.

But, yeah, tearing into a bucket of chicken can do it for some. We'll call them "Atkins Diet Feedees."


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## activistfatgirl (Jun 24, 2006)

can one be a completely vegan feedee? now that's the question of the century.

"oh baby, do you like it when i stuff myself with radishes? oh yeeeeeaaaah"


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## Totmacher (Jun 24, 2006)

Why does that seem odd? Most candy is completely vegan anyway.


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## MissToodles (Jun 24, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Candy has a more relaxed feel to it. Softer, for the boudoir.
> 
> But, yeah, tearing into a bucket of chicken can do it for some. We'll call them "Atkins Diet Feedees."



damn it! I knew there should be photos of me when I was low carbing. everyone loves to watch a gal devour a stick of butter wrapped in bacon


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## Seth Warren (Jun 24, 2006)

activistfatgirl said:


> can one be a completely vegan feedee? now that's the question of the century.
> 
> "oh baby, do you like it when i stuff myself with radishes? oh yeeeeeaaaah"



If you had said "cucumbers" or "zucchini," I could have made a perverse joke, but nooooooo...it had to be radishes.


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## activistfatgirl (Jun 24, 2006)

Seth Warren said:


> If you had said "cucumbers" or "zucchini," I could have made a perverse joke, but nooooooo...it had to be radishes.



Well, let me tell you, there was some hitting of the "delete" button before I hit 'post'.


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## activistfatgirl (Jun 24, 2006)

MissToodles said:


> damn it! I knew there should be photos of me when I was low carbing. everyone loves to watch a gal devour a stick of butter wrapped in bacon



you are one of my favorite carnivores ever. the spirit! the passion! 

no seriously, i laughed out loud. and then choked on water, thanks.


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## activistfatgirl (Jun 24, 2006)

Totmacher said:


> Why does that seem odd? Most candy is completely vegan anyway.



Oh, I know. When I actually was a vegan I think I knew absolutely every single sweet thing on the planet that didn't involve animals.

And by "knew", I'm sure I meant "ate".


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## fatlane (Jun 24, 2006)

MissToodles said:


> damn it! I knew there should be photos of me when I was low carbing. everyone loves to watch a gal devour a stick of butter wrapped in bacon



Sweet fancy Moses, but that's hot!

100% XXX NON-KOSHER BAD GIRL ACTION!!!


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## RedVelvet (Jun 24, 2006)

fatlane said:


> But look, ma! No S&M or Dom/Sub behavior!




Im REALLY OFFENDED by that remark.

Yes...I'm MAD.

Wait...it's slipping away.....


whoops....its gone.

Carry on~


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## fatlane (Jun 24, 2006)

activistfatgirl said:


> Oh, I know. When I actually was a vegan I think I knew absolutely every single sweet thing on the planet that didn't involve animals.
> 
> And by "knew", I'm sure I meant "ate".



OK, seriously, eating a lot of carrots wouldn't do it for a feeder. Sure, _other_ guys would fixate on the shape of the carrots, as they would for cucumbers or eggplant... but a feedee is thinking, "Carrots? WTF? Those aren't fattening! Her stomach capacity is less than one quart, assuming no stretching, and even if she was full up on carrots that's, like... (gets calculator, googles up calories in carrots then divides by calories per pound, then deducts calories consumed by metabolism, chewing, and reaching for carrots)... only one millionth of a pound! Now, were she loading up on _Twinkies_... (does more math, gets an extremely wicked grin)... oh yeah, THAT is fatter!"

And, yes, feeders do a lot of math. We can memorize weight gain diaries the way some guys follow baseball. "Wow! That's the most weight gained by a girl with a chick mullet in a July, ever!" (And those of you around in July, 1999 know what I'm talking about!)

Veggies don't do it. Vegetable shortening-based frosting does do it. Vegans can turn on a feeder, but not with the former. The latter works wonders.


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## fatlane (Jun 24, 2006)

RedVelvet said:


> Im REALLY OFFENDED by that remark.
> 
> Yes...I'm MAD.
> 
> ...



Not that there's anything _wrong_ with it.


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## rectumsandroses (Jun 24, 2006)

Ya...Im not gonna read the 3 pages before this, so I'll just try to answer the origional question.

In my experience, being an FA isnt a choice. When I hit puberty I was embarrassed and tried for about 2 years to change my preferences, but it never worked. The feeder/feedee lifestyle is definately a choice or fetish. Someone can easily be turned on by fat, but not want to gain.

To sum it up I think that your sexual preferences, whether straight, gay, fat, thin or...um...green?, are there to stay. You dont have a choice, but what you make of them is your choice.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jun 24, 2006)

Totmacher said:


> Why does that seem odd? Most candy is completely vegan anyway.



Nope. Most candy is not vegan as it's made with processed sugar.

"Over half of the cane refineries in the United States use bone char (charcoal made from animal bones) as their activated carbon source. The bone char used in this filtering process is so far removed from its animal source that cane sugar processed in this method is deemed kosher pareve, which, according to Jewish dietary laws, means that it contains no meat or milk in any form as an ingredient. A number of vegans disagree with this perspective."

Look here for more info.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jun 24, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Nope. Most candy is not vegan as it's made with processed sugar.
> 
> "Over half of the cane refineries in the United States use bone char (charcoal made from animal bones) as their activated carbon source. The bone char used in this filtering process is so far removed from its animal source that cane sugar processed in this method is deemed kosher pareve, which, according to Jewish dietary laws, means that it contains no meat or milk in any form as an ingredient. A number of vegans disagree with this perspective."
> 
> Look here for more info.



yeah, I was gunna say that, lol....it is very hard to find true vegan foods....vegitarian yes...but vegan is a whole different ball game.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 24, 2006)

Bizarre factoid. I was once told by a vegetarian that she would never touch a vegan cookie after reading the nutrition facts on the back of the box. Vegan cookies as a rule are so high in fat and calories, almost twice that of regular Chips Ahoy!® cookies. 




fatlane said:


> OK, seriously, eating a lot of carrots wouldn't do it for a feeder. Sure, _other_ guys would fixate on the shape of the carrots, as they would for cucumbers or eggplant... but a feedee is thinking, "Carrots? WTF? Those aren't fattening! Her stomach capacity is less than one quart, assuming no stretching, and even if she was full up on carrots that's, like... (gets calculator, googles up calories in carrots then divides by calories per pound, then deducts calories consumed by metabolism, chewing, and reaching for carrots)... only one millionth of a pound! Now, were she loading up on _Twinkies_... (does more math, gets an extremely wicked grin)... oh yeah, THAT is fatter!"
> 
> And, yes, feeders do a lot of math. We can memorize weight gain diaries the way some guys follow baseball. "Wow! That's the most weight gained by a girl with a chick mullet in a July, ever!" (And those of you around in July, 1999 know what I'm talking about!)
> 
> Veggies don't do it. Vegetable shortening-based frosting does do it. Vegans can turn on a feeder, but not with the former. The latter works wonders.


----------



## GordoNegro (Jun 24, 2006)

LillyBBBW said:


> Man, everybody likes food. Yanking the chain of someone who likes when girls eat is so easy it's like falling off of a log. If she knows it turns you on she's gonna put on a tight nighty that makes her ass sore and coo, "Ooooo, I've been a bad bad girl," even though she spent the whole day at home in a t-shirt eating cereal and diet gingerale.
> 
> My clothes are tighter every month round the same time. If I wanted to get laid - which usually goes without saying 'round that time - I'd exploit it, sure. You can't use the tricks of the female trade as a litmus test for a mindset. It's not beyond a woman's capability to say anything to get up your kilt.  It kinda works out for everybody until you begin to notice a few months later that she's stayed round the same dress size as the day you met give or take. Either that or she'll go on a diet to avoid having to blow all her money on a new summer wardrobe.
> 
> I'm not saying there aren't women like that who exist, just that the numbers may not be as high as you think.




Always good to have that 411 when spending 1/4-1/2 a paycheck to satisfy another's cravings. Depending of one's attitude with $, some may let one skate and keep it movin' or for another things could get ugly.
Ugly like a scenario of a consented termination only to find out 500.00-700.00 went towards Macy's and Bloomies instead.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 24, 2006)

It's one thing when you are talking about playing up to a fantasy and another to talk about adopting a lifestyle. As in the case with Bruce where the women told him up front that they were not into feeding, but later he learned that they were open minded enough to play along and enjoy the fantasy I think that works out for everybody. Had Bruce shown up on their doorstep with $500.00 worth of groceries he would have been reminded of the original terms of the policy right away and the fault would have been on his shoulders. 

As a side note, if you are going to engage in a lifestyle of a real time gaining fantasy with someone it should be a given that most of the money given towards facilitating that lifestyle is going to go toward new clothes, shoes and anti-inflammatories once the new weight comes on. Everybody knows a pair of 10x jeans cost more than 7 boxes of Little Debbie snack cakes. Just thought I'd mention it so you won't be surprised if you are ever lucky enough to find such a relationship.




GordoNegro said:


> Always good to have that 411 when spending 1/4-1/2 a paycheck to satisfy another's cravings. Depending of one's attitude with $, some may let one skate and keep it movin' or for another things could get ugly.
> Ugly like a scenario of a consented termination only to find out 500.00-700.00 went towards Macy's and Bloomies instead.


----------



## EtobicokeFA (Jun 24, 2006)

If you suppose it fully, suppose it only as a fantasy or don't support it at all, you have to agree that we have to look at as new people see it as they first come on the boards. 

Unless they read this thread, how do they know what the major feels about the feeder forums?


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## GordoNegro (Jun 24, 2006)

LillyBBBW said:


> It's one thing when you are talking about playing up to a fantasy and another to talk about adopting a lifestyle. As in the case with Bruce where the women told him up front that they were not into feeding, but later he learned that they were open minded enough to play along and enjoy the fantasy I think that works out for everybody. Had Bruce shown up on their doorstep with $500.00 worth of groceries he would have been reminded of the original terms of the policy right away and the fault would have been on his shoulders.
> 
> As a side note, if you are going to engage in a lifestyle of a real time gaining fantasy with someone it should be a given that most of the money given towards facilitating that lifestyle is going to go toward new clothes, shoes and anti-inflammatories once the new weight comes on. Everybody knows a pair of 10x jeans cost more than 7 boxes of Little Debbie snack cakes. Just thought I'd mention it so you won't be surprised if you are ever lucky enough to find such a relationship.



That is true too, I've been lucky and did have LB and ashley stewart cards maxed along with wallet emptying trips to Catherine's as well.
Don't get it twisted now..lol.
I was just talking in general as far as $ spent is concerned.
You definately have a valid point.


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## formerking (Jun 24, 2006)

Rainahblue said:


> Hi all,
> I honestly don't understand why feeding, weight gain, and the like, is accepted here. Not only is it accepted, it's encouraged: there's a completely separate forum specifically for weight gain, and the vast majority of the stories posted here are either about weight gain, feeding, or both.
> 
> Why is that?
> ...




If you must ask, your question should rather be whether there is a reason why it shouldn't be accepted. Usually, the lack of acceptance is the root of evil. People got killed for their beliefs, race, ethnicity, etc. Our initial stance should be open-minded and accepting. Acceptance does not need justification, non-acceptance does.


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Jun 24, 2006)

The Dimensions community is very diverse and feederism is part of that diversity. Everyone on this board is not into feeding. I find it important for people to have a safe, encouraging environment because we live in a world that is very hostile to fat people and their admirers. 




Rainahblue said:


> Hi all,
> I'm still (relatively) new to this board, so perhaps I'm missing something. I honestly don't understand why feeding, weight gain, and the like, is accepted here. Not only is it accepted, it's encouraged: there's a completely separate forum specifically for weight gain, and the vast majority of the stories posted here are either about weight gain, feeding, or both.
> 
> Why is that?
> ...


----------



## activistfatgirl (Jun 24, 2006)

Ha ha, awesome.

Well, read Lily's post above. I conjecture that it WOULD be possible to be a vegan feeder. But it'd be costly.

What i know to be true is that its very possible to gain as Vegan. My stretch marks are proof. Pictures soon to come on the weight board.




fatlane said:


> OK, seriously, eating a lot of carrots wouldn't do it for a feeder. Sure, _other_ guys would fixate on the shape of the carrots, as they would for cucumbers or eggplant... but a feedee is thinking, "Carrots? WTF? Those aren't fattening! Her stomach capacity is less than one quart, assuming no stretching, and even if she was full up on carrots that's, like... (gets calculator, googles up calories in carrots then divides by calories per pound, then deducts calories consumed by metabolism, chewing, and reaching for carrots)... only one millionth of a pound! Now, were she loading up on _Twinkies_... (does more math, gets an extremely wicked grin)... oh yeah, THAT is fatter!"
> 
> And, yes, feeders do a lot of math. We can memorize weight gain diaries the way some guys follow baseball. "Wow! That's the most weight gained by a girl with a chick mullet in a July, ever!" (And those of you around in July, 1999 know what I'm talking about!)
> 
> Veggies don't do it. Vegetable shortening-based frosting does do it. Vegans can turn on a feeder, but not with the former. The latter works wonders.


----------



## activistfatgirl (Jun 24, 2006)

I was never a pure vegan, I always ate refined sugars. I triiiiiiiieed to avoid them. And by try I mean I really didn't try that hard at all.
Honey too. I didn't give a damn about bees and I admitted it.




TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Nope. Most candy is not vegan as it's made with processed sugar.
> 
> "Over half of the cane refineries in the United States use bone char (charcoal made from animal bones) as their activated carbon source. The bone char used in this filtering process is so far removed from its animal source that cane sugar processed in this method is deemed kosher pareve, which, according to Jewish dietary laws, means that it contains no meat or milk in any form as an ingredient. A number of vegans disagree with this perspective."
> 
> Look here for more info.


----------



## UncannyBruceman (Jun 24, 2006)

LillyBBBW said:


> As a side note, if you are going to engage in a lifestyle of a real time gaining fantasy with someone it should be a given that most of the money given towards facilitating that lifestyle is going to go toward new clothes, shoes and anti-inflammatories once the new weight comes on.



And my ex was most certainly cared for. I put food on her plate and clothes on her back, and her and I enjoyed every minute of it!

So, with that being said, shall I bring another chocolate chip cheesecake when I attend Heather's NAAFA?


----------



## Totmacher (Jun 24, 2006)

fatlane said:


> OK, seriously, eating a lot of carrots wouldn't do it for a feeder. Sure, _other_ guys would fixate on the shape of the carrots, as they would for cucumbers or eggplant... but a feedee is thinking, "Carrots? WTF? Those aren't fattening! Her stomach capacity is less than one quart, assuming no stretching, and even if she was full up on carrots that's, like... (gets calculator, googles up calories in carrots then divides by calories per pound, then deducts calories consumed by metabolism, chewing, and reaching for carrots)... only one millionth of a pound! Now, were she loading up on _Twinkies_... (does more math, gets an extremely wicked grin)... oh yeah, THAT is fatter!"
> 
> And, yes, feeders do a lot of math. We can memorize weight gain diaries the way some guys follow baseball. "Wow! That's the most weight gained by a girl with a chick mullet in a July, ever!" (And those of you around in July, 1999 know what I'm talking about!)
> 
> Veggies don't do it. Vegetable shortening-based frosting does do it. Vegans can turn on a feeder, but not with the former. The latter works wonders.



Maybe it's a generational thing, or maybe you've just never heard of things like avocados and salad dressing, but I strongly disagree.




TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Nope. Most candy is not vegan as it's made with processed sugar.
> 
> "Over half of the cane refineries in the United States use bone char (charcoal made from animal bones) as their activated carbon source. The bone char used in this filtering process is so far removed from its animal source that cane sugar processed in this method is deemed kosher pareve, which, according to Jewish dietary laws, means that it contains no meat or milk in any form as an ingredient. A number of vegans disagree with this perspective."
> 
> Look here for more info.



Thanks I forgot about that.  now I can drive my vegan friend even crazier. Do they make certifiably 100% beet sugar vegan candy yet?


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## NancyGirl74 (Jun 24, 2006)

I only read parts this thread so forgive me if these questions were asked already.

What becomes of the women once they've gained all the weight they can gain? Are they dumped and left to fend for themselves as the feeders move onto the next gainer? And what of the women who like the idea of being fed romantically but have no desire to gain? Are they considered fakers or unworthy of attention?

These questions are not meant to offend anyone. I'm sincerely curious.


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## fatlane (Jun 24, 2006)

Totmacher said:


> Maybe it's a generational thing, or maybe you've just never heard of things like avocados and salad dressing, but I strongly disagree.



Well, I can't stand those things. Total turn off.


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## fatlane (Jun 24, 2006)

NancyGirl74 said:


> I only read parts this thread so forgive me if these questions were asked already.
> 
> What becomes of the women once they've gained all the weight they can gain? Are they dumped and left to fend for themselves as the feeders move onto the next gainer? And what of the women who like the idea of being fed romantically but have no desire to gain? Are they considered fakers or unworthy of attention?
> 
> These questions are not meant to offend anyone. I'm sincerely curious.


 
In a sensible relationship, things don't get out of control and it's more fantasy than reality. In a messed up relationship, yeah, the guy dumps her and moves on. The bastard. 

For those who don't want to talk about the gain, the partner can always imagine they're talking about it. Food is food, and if it's getting eaten, then, yeah... I'll watch. I can keep my mouth shut if you'd like. Just post pix plz tanx.

Most people I know who ever got to a bajilliondy pounds were fictional. The others weren't abandoned and lost weight because of health/mobility issues, but wished they could be back at their bigger size every now and then.


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## PrettyFatGirl4U (Jun 24, 2006)

Rainahblue said:


> Hi all,
> I'm still (relatively) new to this board, so perhaps I'm missing something. I honestly don't understand why feeding, weight gain, and the like, is accepted here. Not only is it accepted, it's encouraged: there's a completely separate forum specifically for weight gain, and the vast majority of the stories posted here are either about weight gain, feeding, or both.
> 
> Why is that?
> ...




First of all, in my opinion, there are different types of feeding....the kind that gets the most negative press is the aggressive eat till you burst, in enormous quantities for the sole purpose of getting ever fatter often with a goal of immobility (real or fantasized) as an desired outcome type. This type of feeding often involves force and submission as well as aggressive "apparatus" like funnels, tube feeding and fantasy based feeding machines. Foods include weightgain powders, pure cream, foods that many not have high gourmet appeal but are a medium for high fat intake like ingesting sticks of butter. The goal seems to be weight gain rather than gustatory delight.

This scenario includes the "legendary" evil feeder who professes undying love and devotion to the compliant feedee/gainer until is the feedee is either immmobile/ill and unable to continue to gain at which point the feedee is left high and dry, dependant, helpless and super morbidly obese. You'll note the abscence of gender identification because altho the urban myths seem most commonly to center around the male feeder/female feedee there is no gender exclusivity.

Yet feeding can be a wonderful, loving intimate, experience. Being lovingly fed in a romantic setting can be sensual, trust building, intimate and very enjoyable. Think 9 1/2 weeks here 

Before I ever heard the term "feedee" I knew that I always enjoyed the intimacy, the passion, of being plyed with delicious morsels by a man who held my heart. No I don't eat to gain and no I'm not a feedee but when a relationship develops to the level of familiarity where food becomes as well as stimulates passion, it's a beautiful experience! 

I don't want to be forced (altho safe roleplay along those lines could be fun, hehehe...) because I enjoy my food too much to eat just as a caloric vehicle. But I'm a fat girl, I might say no but wouldn't mind a bit of coercion towards that second slice of caramel apple streusel cheesecake (or third!!! :eat2: :eat2: :eat2: ) Do I want a funnel? no thanks! weigh gain shakes? pass! I'll eat the calories thank you, and enjoy every crumb!

On a final note, it is my personal opinion that every single FA has a bit of feeder/encourager/weight gain enthusiast in them! When the ample form is appreciated and desired it just stands to reason that for many, an even more ample form is quite desirous! I didn't wake up one morning, look down and wonder with incredulity where all this fat came from?  I've gained over the course of my lifetime and may in fact continue to do so and the men in my life, while not feeders, have and will appreciate that fact! 

I also didn't get this fat on slim fast! I LOVE TO EAT!! And I believe the significant people in my life also appreciate that fact! Fat girls eat, it's what we do extremely well! And often we get fatter, it's the consequence/perk of the foodie :eat1: 

And we've all seen the gleam in the appreciative eye when those jeans are just a bit more snug or the roll over the waistband is a bit more ripe! I love my curves and amplitude and while I don't necessarily seek to gain, I appreciate every corpulent inch. Nor do think the appreciative FA is reviewing then engineering design of his evil feeding machine and widening all his doorways by 10 feet :doh: 

I hope expressing my view helps make it a little bit clearer, Rainah!


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## fatlane (Jun 24, 2006)

PrettyFatGirl4U said:


> On a final note, it is my personal opinion that every single FA has a bit of feeder/encourager/weight gain enthusiast in them! When the ample form is appreciated and desired it just stands to reason that for many, an even more ample form is quite desirous!



Think of it as insurance you don't lose something you see as precious and wondrous to behold.


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## UncannyBruceman (Jun 24, 2006)

NancyGirl74 said:


> I only read parts this thread so forgive me if these questions were asked already.
> 
> What becomes of the women once they've gained all the weight they can gain? Are they dumped and left to fend for themselves as the feeders move onto the next gainer? And what of the women who like the idea of being fed romantically but have no desire to gain? Are they considered fakers or unworthy of attention?



From experience, my ex met me at 300lbs and we split up shortly after she hit 400lbs. She loved to eat and I loved the results, so the intimacy never got tiresome. She was comfortable with the weight and was open to gaining more, but alas, we split up due to other issues. When she wanted to stop, then we would have stopped, and that would have been that. Gainer or not, I still would have had a supersize beauty to love and cherish, and history has shown that it's VERY difficult for me to move on to another.
And the girls who like the idea of being fed eventually put weight on and just deal with it. It's a small price to pay for the admiration I give them.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 24, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> And my ex was most certainly cared for. I put food on her plate and clothes on her back, and her and I enjoyed every minute of it!
> 
> So, with that being said, shall I bring another chocolate chip cheesecake when I attend Heather's NAAFA?



HA! Perish the thought! MOI? Eat an entire chocolate chip cheesecake? Hrmph! Not on your life. 

*Blueberry please*


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jun 24, 2006)

LillyBBBW said:


> HA! Perish the thought! MOI? Eat an entire chocolate chip cheesecake? Hrmph! Not on your life.
> 
> *Blueberry please*




LOL....I tried to eat an entire pie once....only got half way through before I felt seriously ill, lol. But that was in one sitting. Give me two days and heck yeah it's gone, lol.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 24, 2006)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> LOL....I tried to eat an entire pie once....only got half way through before I felt seriously ill, lol. But that was in one sitting. Give me two days and heck yeah it's gone, lol.



OMG, do you know those Entemmins Rasberry danish thingies? :doh: I could eat the whole box and then get angry because a) I ate the WHOLE box and b) There isn't any more. Those things, I swear they do something to it like lace it with crack or something. Once I taste it I can't stay away from it. Same with their chocolate chip cookies. I'll eat some and swear I'm done. Then minutes later I'm back in there groping the box open again. :eat1: 

A cheesecake is a tall order for sure. Anything with fruit filling is dangerous though, don't let 'em getcha.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jun 24, 2006)

LillyBBBW said:


> OMG, do you know those Entemmins Rasberry danish thingies? :doh: I could eat the whole box and then get angry because a) I ate the WHOLE box and b) There isn't any more. Those things, I swear they do something to it like lace it with crack or something. Once I taste it I can't stay away from it. Same with their chocolate chip cookies. I'll eat some and swear I'm done. Then minutes later I'm back in there groping the box open again. :eat1:
> 
> A cheesecake is a tall order for sure. Anything with fruit filling is dangerous though, don't let 'em getcha.



Ok, now I have to be honest here, lol. Homemade choc chip cookies. mmmmm. My mom made some a couple of weeks ago...and she left town and told me to help myself, lmao....BIG MISTAKE!!! In less that 24 hours 3 dozen cookies were gone...which makes me sound like a pig...but when you walk by and grab 5 or 6 cookies at a time and eat them while online....it doesn't take long, lol. Oi! I just addmitted I ate a million cookies, lol. oops.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 24, 2006)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Ok, now I have to be honest here, lol. Homemade choc chip cookies. mmmmm. My mom made some a couple of weeks ago...and she left town and told me to help myself, lmao....BIG MISTAKE!!! In less that 24 hours 3 dozen cookies were gone...which makes me sound like a pig...but when you walk by and grab 5 or 6 cookies at a time and eat them while online....it doesn't take long, lol. Oi! I just addmitted I ate a million cookies, lol. oops.



That is true! Who is it that makes up these serving suggestions anyway? Who is only going to eat 2 cookies and say Wooooo I'm done? The best thing is not to eat them on an empty stomach but when you don't feel like fixing anything it's easy to scarf up the whole bag.


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## NancyGirl74 (Jun 24, 2006)

fatlane said:


> In a sensible relationship, things don't get out of control and it's more fantasy than reality. In a messed up relationship, yeah, the guy dumps her and moves on. The bastard.
> 
> For those who don't want to talk about the gain, the partner can always imagine they're talking about it. Food is food, and if it's getting eaten, then, yeah... I'll watch. I can keep my mouth shut if you'd like. Just post pix plz tanx.
> 
> Most people I know who ever got to a bajilliondy pounds were fictional. The others weren't abandoned and lost weight because of health/mobility issues, but wished they could be back at their bigger size every now and then.






UncannyBruceman said:


> From experience, my ex met me at 300lbs and we split up shortly after she hit 400lbs. She loved to eat and I loved the results, so the intimacy never got tiresome. She was comfortable with the weight and was open to gaining more, but alas, we split up due to other issues. When she wanted to stop, then we would have stopped, and that would have been that. Gainer or not, I still would have had a supersize beauty to love and cherish, and history has shown that it's VERY difficult for me to move on to another.
> And the girls who like the idea of being fed eventually put weight on and just deal with it. It's a small price to pay for the admiration I give them.



Thanks for the input.


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## activistfatgirl (Jun 25, 2006)

Totmacher said:


> Maybe it's a generational thing, or maybe you've just never heard of things like avocados and salad dressing, but I strongly disagree.
> 
> 
> Thanks I forgot about that.  now I can drive my vegan friend even crazier. Do they make certifiably 100% beet sugar vegan candy yet?




Oh man, I just developed a crush on you, mr. totman. Anyone who understands the joy of fattening food combined with vegetables is a guaranteed winner.

Avocados! God!


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## Les Toil (Jun 25, 2006)

What's always puzzled me is how the thought of worsening a woman's health by feeding her tons of junk food until she's unable to fit through a door could be considered a pleasant fantasy. Obviously that's an extreme level of the feederism/gainerism fantasy, but I'm just wondering if there's any space in the average feeder/gainer's psyche to fantasize about about a gorgeous big woman maintaining her mobility and general health so she can accompany you on long walks through Yosemite or Yellowstone Park. 

Fantasizing about "growing" a woman to the point where all she can really do is lay flat on her back and not move too much when it's time to have sex makes little sense to me. 


...er...or maybe it makes LOTS of sense.


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## UncannyBruceman (Jun 25, 2006)

Les Toil said:


> What's always puzzled me is how the thought of worsening a woman's health by feeding her tons of junk food until she's unable to fit through a door could be considered a pleasant fantasy. Obviously that's an extreme level of the feederism/gainerism fantasy, but I'm just wondering if there's any space in the average feeder/gainer's psyche to fantasize about about a gorgeous big woman maintaining her mobility and general health so she can accompany you on long walks through Yosemite or Yellowstone Park.



And it's comments like those that give feeders a bad reputation.

I told my ex and every other woman who's wanted me to feed them that they don't have to worry about those things. I love my fat girls and I love watching them get even fatter, but not if they can't live their lives. I encourage them to eat but I also encourage them to go out and have some fun.


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## Stormy (Jun 25, 2006)

fatlane said:


> OK, seriously, eating a lot of carrots wouldn't do it for a feeder. Sure, _other_ guys would fixate on the shape of the carrots, as they would for cucumbers or eggplant... but a feedee is thinking, "Carrots? WTF? Those aren't fattening! Her stomach capacity is less than one quart, assuming no stretching, and even if she was full up on carrots that's, like... (gets calculator, googles up calories in carrots then divides by calories per pound, then deducts calories consumed by metabolism, chewing, and reaching for carrots)... only one millionth of a pound!


Weren't you just earlier in this thread talking about how it's exciting to feed a woman even ONE cookie, even though the weight gain would be negligible? 

My stomach must hold much more than a quart. I can easily drink two liters of water in a few minutes, and often eat much more than a quart of food.

I can get turned on eating lots of carrots. It might not cause much weight gain, after it passes through anyway, but it still results in that wonderful stuffed feeling, and full, distended stomach which is quite pleasurable. I don't like all vegetables enough to do that with but carrots are one of my favorites. I can eat a 10 pound bag, steamed or boiled with some salt and pepper. Yum yum. :eat1:



Les Toil said:


> Fantasizing about "growing" a woman to the point where all she can really do is lay flat on her back and not move too much when it's time to have sex makes little sense to me.


Lots of fantasies aren't very rational, or practical. I don't think there's much choice involved in what turns people on.


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## RedVelvet (Jun 25, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> And it's comments like those that give feeders a bad reputation.
> 
> I told my ex and every other woman who's wanted me to feed them that they don't have to worry about those things. I love my fat girls and I love watching them get even fatter, but not if they can't live their lives. I encourage them to eat but I also encourage them to go out and have some fun.




Actually, Bruce....for me its not the comments by Les Toil that give feeders a bad rep, so to speak ..... at least for me anyway.....it's the fantasy stories! I used to be rather neutral on the subject till I read some of the stories here...I admit to being so creeped out I avoided this place for another year before I posted for the first time...

I know...I know...its FANTASY...and I also know that some of my OWN sexuality would TRULY creep out lots of folks here, given my D/s relationship.....so to each their own..

Still.....I couldnt help it....they scared me.


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## Les Toil (Jun 25, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> And it's comments like those that give feeders a bad reputation.



And that's why I stated that the example of fantasy I gave was an _extreme_ case, Bruceman. 

But let's face it, there's always been quite a sizeful number of fellows here that cheer on women in the 400-600lb range every time they've announced new weight gain. As a woman mentioned here recently, praising weight gain can often be just as harmful as praising weight LOSS to a person. All of which has nothing to do with fantasy and the whole world to do with encouraging a real life breathing human being to alter their body drastically.


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## exile in thighville (Jun 25, 2006)

Les Toil said:


> What's always puzzled me is how the thought of worsening a woman's health by feeding her tons of junk food until she's unable to fit through a door could be considered a pleasant fantasy. Obviously that's an extreme level of the feederism/gainerism fantasy, but I'm just wondering if there's any space in the average feeder/gainer's psyche to fantasize about about a gorgeous big woman maintaining her mobility and general health so she can accompany you on long walks through Yosemite or Yellowstone Park.
> 
> Fantasizing about "growing" a woman to the point where all she can really do is lay flat on her back and not move too much when it's time to have sex makes little sense to me.
> 
> ...



because health doesn't exist in fantasy. there's all kinds of potent "dangerous" fetishes, from choking to smothering to inflicting pain to gaining weight to the point of immobility to forced intercourse and rape, that are always dangerous in reality and exciting to the practicioners in controlled fantasy, aka roleplay. obviously no one of good mental health wants their partner to die or receive serious injury, but when someone is born with or develops a sexual fetish for something, they cannot control the fact that it turns them on, only the capacity to which they will engage it. meaning a guy with a bdsm thing could go beat up and rape some women or he could enjoy some light spanking at home. it depends on the person, never on the fetish alone.


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## exile in thighville (Jun 25, 2006)

RedVelvet said:


> Actually, Bruce....for me its not the comments by Les Toil that give feeders a bad rep, so to speak ..... at least for me anyway.....it's the fantasy stories! I used to be rather neutral on the subject till I read some of the stories here...I admit to being so creeped out I avoided this place for another year before I posted for the first time...
> 
> I know...I know...its FANTASY...and I also know that some of my OWN sexuality would TRULY creep out lots of folks here, given my D/s relationship.....so to each their own..
> 
> Still.....I couldnt help it....they scared me.



why'd you read them though? there's disclaimers out the wazoo. i don't read fantasy stories for fetishes that creep me out.


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## exile in thighville (Jun 25, 2006)

Les Toil said:


> And that's why I stated that the example of fantasy I gave was an _extreme_ case, Bruceman.
> 
> But let's face it, there's always been quite a sizeful number of fellows here that cheer on women in the 400-600lb range every time they've announced new weight gain. As a woman mentioned here recently, praising weight gain can often be just as harmful as praising weight LOSS to a person. All of which has nothing to do with fantasy and the whole world to do with encouraging a real life breathing human being to alter their body drastically.



again, i take serious issue with comments like this. first of all, there's no hardly an abundance of 400-600 lb women here (i'd guess less than 10% of dimensions females) and even less who are that way on purpose. secondly, this is a sanctuary for fat. period. they're well aware of their options to exercise, lose weight, get wls, etc when they're pretty much bombarded with them every day by friends, family members, magazines, tv, late night talk show hosts taking cheap shots, shallow hal, etc. you can't be 600 pounds and unaware of the health risks. that said, if the men here enjoy 600 lb women, they're gonna say so in our designated place to say it. the women come here for relief from the fat-phobic outside world, even if they're on the far side of healthy. yes there are men here who encourage beyond the point of reason. but to me it's borderline misogyny to suggest that these women (or any) would gain blindly for men to please them, ahead of their own feelings. i would never want a woman to gain against her will. much of the thrill for feeders is the woman enjoying herself in the rapture of indulgence and so forth. it's hedonistic, not creepy brainwashing like so many onlookers skepticize (is that a word?). a bbw or ssbbw should do what she wants, and the encouragement here is meant to get rid of the fear and guilt she's stuck with day to day. health comes before anything else, but dimensions is a place to relax and indulge when you're feeling it. no one should get into a feeder/feedee relationship without knowing what they're getting into and i swear i have yet to see one of these so-called abusive feeder/feedee relationships on the books. i believe they can happen, yes. but go in the dimensions chat and witness how one creepy comment to a woman's gonna get you ignored. the perviest, sickest, most immature feeder stereotypes barely stand a chance getting a date, much less an immobile, hospitalized girlfriend.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 25, 2006)

When JR got shot on Dallas, he wasn't 'really' shot - it was all an act. People talked about it all summer long but nobody actually believed Larry Hagman was dead. It was all in great fun.

I really think that people get too excited over nothing. There are some fantasies that are impossible to fulfill - like being stomped by a 75 foot woman, or being stuffed inside of a boot, or watching a person gain 50 pounds before your eyes. If consenting adults feed a fantasy with a phony photo or a crazy story I don't see what's wrong with that. 98% of what we see around here IS fantasy. These are people who would have been fat anyway even if they never even heard of gaining and all that. So they throw the photos up on the board because they know that there are mugs here who dig that kind of stuff, big deal. 

So a guy wants to rub my belly while I eat. Personally after the third or fourth time I would get sick and tired of him, but that's just me. The WG stories don't do anything for me either but if I found out the neighbor was reading one and rubbing his sweetie's belly while she ate I wouldn't call the cops. I think people are making more of it than what it is.


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## Miss Vickie (Jun 25, 2006)

I guess the part that I don't like about feederism -- at least how some practice it -- is the implied "you're not good enough at this weight" that goes along with it. It's like they're saying, "You're great at 300 but you'd be so much BETTER at 400." How is that any different than "You're great at 300 but you'd be better at 200? Or 150? Or 110?"

To me it's objectification of women, and telling them they should do this thing to be more attractive to (usually) men. I know that there are female feeders, but we call them moms. (KIDDING!!!!) Seriously, it does seem that it's more of a male fantasy than a female one. And to me feeding someone to where they are immobile and are facing the health consequences of a too-large body is horrible, just as encouraging someone to do ANYTHING unhealthy to the body is. So that part of it bothers me, although the objectification of women is certainly part and parcel of our culture. Not much we can do about it, I'm afraid, and there are ways that women objectify men. Such is life. Doesn't mean I have to like it, tho'. 

All that being said, to each their own. I figure what adults do in their own homes is their business. I sure have my kinks and I don't like it when people pass judgment on them. So who am I to pass judgment on others? Just because it's not my cuppa tea (or triple thick milkshake) doesn't mean that I should try to make others feel bad about their preferences. Which is why I just (usually) avoid the weight gain board as something that doesn't apply to me -- not unlike the BHM/FFA board. (I have a hubby who's a BHM but I don't consider myself a FFA since I've never sought out big guys). Its presence doesn't bother me here; I'm glad people have a place to share their fantasies, even though they're fantasies that I don't personally understand.


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## UncannyBruceman (Jun 25, 2006)

RedVelvet said:


> Actually, Bruce....for me its not the comments by Les Toil that give feeders a bad rep, so to speak ..... at least for me anyway.....it's the fantasy stories!



Most of the stories are just stupid, and some of them are just so far off into space that you wonder if the author is eight years old or writing from a rubber room.

There are so many different ways to look at this subject that every debate will end in a stalemate. All I can say is that, in a serious relationship, feederism is just a small aspect. I treat my women well, any girl who's shared a bed with me will attest to it, and if they're comfortable with indulging, then good for me.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jun 25, 2006)

Miss Vickie said:


> I guess the part that I don't like about feederism -- at least how some practice it -- is the implied "you're not good enough at this weight" that goes along with it. It's like they're saying, "You're great at 300 but you'd be so much BETTER at 400." How is that any different than "You're great at 300 but you'd be better at 200? Or 150? Or 110?"
> 
> To me it's objectification of women, and telling them they should do this thing to be more attractive to (usually) men. I know that there are female feeders, but we call them moms. (KIDDING!!!!) Seriously, it does seem that it's more of a male fantasy than a female one. And to me feeding someone to where they are immobile and are facing the health consequences of a too-large body is horrible, just as encouraging someone to do ANYTHING unhealthy to the body is. So that part of it bothers me, although the objectification of women is certainly part and parcel of our culture. Not much we can do about it, I'm afraid, and there are ways that women objectify men. Such is life. Doesn't mean I have to like it, tho'.
> 
> All that being said, to each their own. I figure what adults do in their own homes is their business. I sure have my kinks and I don't like it when people pass judgment on them. So who am I to pass judgment on others? Just because it's not my cuppa tea (or triple thick milkshake) doesn't mean that I should try to make others feel bad about their preferences. Which is why I just (usually) avoid the weight gain board as something that doesn't apply to me -- not unlike the BHM/FFA board. (I have a hubby who's a BHM but I don't consider myself a FFA since I've never sought out big guys). Its presence doesn't bother me here; I'm glad people have a place to share their fantasies, even though they're fantasies that I don't personally understand.





Nicely stated....every word of eat.


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## pickleman357 (Jun 25, 2006)

Here's my 2 cents

I find there can be many different verities of feederism, _(I'm just going to look at the guy feeding the woman side, of course there's the flip side, I'm just using examples)_

There's the man forcing a woman to gain weight
There's a woman wanting to be bigger, and a man happy to help.
There's the woman who accidentally gains some, and the man instantly outgrows his underwear
There's a woman who would like to be bigger know that she knows she'll be love and admired
etc. etc.

Objectifying women in any way is wrong, period. There's nothing to discuss here. If you're a guy just looking for something to fuck, there are inflatable women made of plastic for that.
In any relationship, both sides have to be happy, period. 
Its stupid to do anything to your partner that could endanger thier life. Whether that be by death, immoblization, or hospilization, its stupid, period.

Fantasies are just that, a fantasy. Something not real. A lot of weight gain stories have some sort of potion that helps them along. Take the story of paige from here at dimensions
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/studio/paige_1.html
Her bone would probably crumble under that kind of weight. But those kinda of realities don't take away from the fantasy.

I'm a bit of feeder, but I definatly don't want to be dating a waterbed that I have to feed. However, this last christmas, my g/f accidently gained 5lbs from the x-mas goodies. She was all "Oops, tee hee" about it, and that just drove me nuts in a sexual way. Why? I have no idea. Am I sad that she lost that 5lbs now? No, not at all. Maybe it had something to do along the lines of "there's just more to love now" or something.

Its really bizarre.


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## MissToodles (Jun 25, 2006)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Nicely stated....every word of eat.




Freudian slip , in a feeding thread, hee hee


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## RedVelvet (Jun 25, 2006)

dan ex machina said:


> why'd you read them though? there's disclaimers out the wazoo. i don't read fantasy stories for fetishes that creep me out.






Simple curiousity....which was easily sated.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jun 25, 2006)

MissToodles said:


> Freudian slip , in a feeding thread, hee hee



OMFG! lol! *dies of embarrassment* lol...THAT THAT is what I meant to say, lmao....oi!


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## love dubh (Jun 25, 2006)

activistfatgirl said:


> Oh, I know. When I actually was a vegan I think I knew absolutely every single sweet thing on the planet that didn't involve animals.
> 
> And by "knew", I'm sure I meant "ate".



Then you must tell me! After a year + of vegetarianism, I'd like to slowly transition towards veganism.


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## activistfatgirl (Jun 25, 2006)

maire dubh said:


> Then you must tell me! After a year + of vegetarianism, I'd like to slowly transition towards veganism.



when i get a moment, I'll PM ya a Dirty Vegan list. yay!


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## fatlane (Jun 25, 2006)

Les Toil said:


> What's always puzzled me is how the thought of worsening a woman's health by feeding her tons of junk food until she's unable to fit through a door could be considered a pleasant fantasy. Obviously that's an extreme level of the feederism/gainerism fantasy, but I'm just wondering if there's any space in the average feeder/gainer's psyche to fantasize about about a gorgeous big woman maintaining her mobility and general health so she can accompany you on long walks through Yosemite or Yellowstone Park.
> 
> Fantasizing about "growing" a woman to the point where all she can really do is lay flat on her back and not move too much when it's time to have sex makes little sense to me.
> 
> ...




As mentioned earlier, this is why most stories have the ol' super-duper-serum (or magical effect) that not only amplifies caloric intake, but removes all negative weight gain problems including, apparently, the need to use the restroom or engage in any sort of intellectually stimulating activity. It's all about the sexual stimulation in the story. Eh.


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## fatlane (Jun 25, 2006)

Stormy said:


> Weren't you just earlier in this thread talking about how it's exciting to feed a woman even ONE cookie, even though the weight gain would be negligible?



Yeah, I was. My moods can vary.


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## Boberto (Jun 26, 2006)

Did anyone think about how the brain works may affect our thoughts on feerderism?

just a thought


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jun 26, 2006)

Boberto said:


> Did anyone think about how the brain works may affect our thoughts on feerderism?
> 
> just a thought



Everything effects your thoughts on everything.....but I won't get into a sociological debate....I like pretending I don't now anything...much easier.


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## Boberto (Jun 26, 2006)

thanks for awnsering :wubu: 

I'll be honest i just had this information handed to me in a class so it's not something i really know well by heart 

apparently the brain has three layers: the reptilia, the mammalian and the modern part with witch we think logically.

apparently the reptilian brain has been around for 200 million jears, the mammalian for 50 million and the modern part for 200 thousand years

The reptilian part is supposedly to do with the primary functions of life: breathing sleeping addictions and eating reproduction etc.

the mammalian brain we developed when we were monkeys. It's the nonverbal communication we have. I really don't know what other function this has...

and the last addition to our brain is the logical thinking we have. our reasoning brain.

since it's a lot older the reptilian part is a lot stronger than the other brains. For example we can get addicted to cigarets. We do this with the reptilian part. We might know better than to smoke with the outer brain, but our reptilian brain is a lot stronger. 

I suppose the urge to eat, or have a women eat large quantities of food is appealing to us because it our reptile brain wants it. We know that overeating is eventually unhealthy and we should avoid doing it allot, but deep down inside, we really wanna.


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## fatlane (Jun 26, 2006)

Love me like a reptile, then. I can get into that whole Lizard King thing.


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## Rainahblue (Jun 26, 2006)

I wasn’t even sure anyone would attempt to answer my question and I thank you all for your input: opinions, comments, etc. 

I don’t think any lifestyle should ever be “ridiculed” or persons “exiled” for their choices. As *Tina *and *DiBaby35 *mentioned, my question was both what feederism really meant and why it was accepted here - accepted enough to have it’s own section of this site. 

I appreciate *Fatlane*’s detailed description of what the fantasy is like for someone into feeding. I love fantasies. Someday when I understand this topic a bit better, maybe I’d even write a story about it. My purpose in starting this post was to hopefully gain some insight into what it meant and I definitely have a better idea now.

As *BigBellySSBBW* points out, strawberries in bed is sexy as hell to me too. I definitely get the sensuality of having something fed to you. *PrettyFatGirl4U* mentioned the well-known steamfest “9 &#189; weeks” and that brought to mind other movies I’ve seen where food plays a significant role in a seduction. That aspect of feeding - food can be sexy - is relatively easy for me to understand.

*AnnMarie* quoted, "Don't mistake tolerance for approval/personal involvement…” Ah, and I certainly did make that mistake. Excellent point and I’m glad it was mentioned. A pet peeve of mine are those people who condemn someone’s choice simply because they don’t agree with it. Scary to think I may have come close to that sort of mindset! 

Some of the stories here disturbed me too, as *RedVelvet* mentioned. I am an active fat chick and the thought of being even temporarily immobilized scares the crap outta me. I think some of the distaste I had with the idea of feeding was the (apparent) misconception that feeding is about stuffing a chick until food is spewing out of her ears. I also wondered about a woman being ditched once she has gained a certain amount of weight. I’m glad those topics were addressed.

 Thanks again to all who shared a little insight…​


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## Santaclear (Jun 26, 2006)

So are feeders actually reptiles then? Makes sense when you think about it.


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## Carrie (Jun 26, 2006)

Santaclear said:


> So are feeders actually reptiles then? Makes sense when you think about it.



No, no, the feedees are. The whole jaw-unhinging thing comes in very handy.


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## Santaclear (Jun 26, 2006)

Carrie said:


> No, no, the feedees are. The whole jaw-unhinging thing comes in very handy.



That makes a heap of sense too. Now that you mention it, whenever you see pics of feedees, ever notice how reptilian their eyes are? :wubu: And the whole jaw-unhinging thing's got me unhinged. :smitten:


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## Carrie (Jun 26, 2006)

Santaclear said:


> That makes a heap of sense too. Now that you mention it, whenever you see pics of feedees, ever notice how reptilian their eyes are? :wubu: And the whole jaw-unhinging thing's got me unhinged. :smitten:



You want I should dress up as a Burmese python for ya, mister? That costs extra.


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## activistfatgirl (Jun 26, 2006)

I just want to point out how ridiculously tangential this thread has been. i sure hope Rainah isn't getting all the posts as emails...


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## Carrie (Jun 26, 2006)

activistfatgirl said:


> I just want to point out how ridiculously tangential this thread has been. i sure hope Rainah isn't getting all the posts as emails...



Welcome to Dim. Pointing out ridiculous tangents in threads here could be a full-time job. You'll get used to it - or stay forever annoyed. But hopefully the former, because it's much more enjoyable.


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## activistfatgirl (Jun 26, 2006)

Carrie said:


> Welcome to Dim. Pointing out ridiculous tangents in threads here could be a full-time job. You'll get used to it - or stay forever annoyed. But hopefully the former, because it's much more enjoyable.



I don't just plan on getting used to it, I plan on initating more tangents.

Maybe I shouldn't admit that.


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## Carrie (Jun 26, 2006)

activistfatgirl said:


> I don't just plan on getting used to it, I plan on initating more tangents.
> 
> Maybe I shouldn't admit that.




ONE OF US - ONE OF US - ONE OF US. 

I knew you were good people.


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## activistfatgirl (Jun 26, 2006)

Carrie said:


> ONE OF US - ONE OF US - ONE OF US.
> 
> I knew you were good people.



Ha ha. I just got a warm fuzzy over that nonsense.


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## UncannyBruceman (Jun 27, 2006)

Then allow me to break away from the tangents and bring us back on-topic. Let the record show that I have never EVER wanted to immobilize anyone. When I meet a girl that I'm interested in, the first thought in my mind is not "wow...how fat I could make HER"...well...well it is  but my point is that I don't force it upon anyone. I can tell them about it if they ask...in most cases, girls realize that they're not impressing me by ordering a salad at the Outback steak house, and it normally stems from there. Like I said earlier, my ex gained 100lbs while she was with me. If she was comfortable with it AND VOLUNTEERED TO TRY IT without my asking, and if her weight wasn't a handicap, is that so wrong? I've had relationships that lasted only because my girlfriend was fat, and this was not one of those. Feederism was just a small piece of our four-year relationship, and we kept it in the bedroom where it belonged; it never dominated our time together.


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## swordchick (Jun 27, 2006)

Rainahblue, thank you for asking the question. This post gave me more insight on the subject and it also made me less annoyed about people who involved in feederism and weight gain. I was just really ignorant about this.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jun 27, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> Then allow me to break away from the tangents and bring us back on-topic. Let the record show that I have never EVER wanted to immobilize anyone. When I meet a girl that I'm interested in, the first thought in my mind is not "wow...how fat I could make HER"...well...well it is  but my point is that I don't force it upon anyone. I can tell them about it if they ask...in most cases, girls realize that they're not impressing me by ordering a salad at the Outback steak house, and it normally stems from there. Like I said earlier, my ex gained 100lbs while she was with me. If she was comfortable with it AND VOLUNTEERED TO TRY IT without my asking, and if her weight wasn't a handicap, is that so wrong? I've had relationships that lasted only because my girlfriend was fat, and this was not one of those. Feederism was just a small piece of our four-year relationship, and we kept it in the bedroom where it belonged; it never dominated our time together.



See, this is what feeders NEED to say. It should be self-evident that feeders and other people with preferences outside the norm are, well, mostly average humans, but still, it needs to be stated. Why? Because the crazy extremists (much like those in the GLBT, BDSM, feminist, and other "fringe" communities) always have the loudest voices. Again, this isn't a slam just against feeders; I find myself cringing everytime I see NAMBLA in a pride parade. 

On that note, while feederism as a lifestyle isn't for me, if someone else wants to, dandy.


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## exile in thighville (Jun 27, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> See, this is what feeders NEED to say. It should be self-evident that feeders and other people with preferences outside the norm are, well, mostly average humans, but still, it needs to be stated. Why? Because the crazy extremists (much like those in the GLBT, BDSM, feminist, and other "fringe" communities) always have the loudest voices. Again, this isn't a slam just against feeders; I find myself cringing everytime I see NAMBLA in a pride parade.
> 
> On that note, while feederism as a lifestyle isn't for me, if someone else wants to, dandy.



i know you're not slamming feeders and i got your point but let's backtrack. this is a post called "why is feeding accepted?" on the world's largest feeder acceptance (tolerance?) forum. there's going to be defensiveness. personally, i don't go to a foot fetish forum and say "eww" or even "hey, foot fetishes aren't for me." and who's to say there aren't any psycho foot fetishists who cut off women's feet? that said, i get frustrated having to "defend" myself in these posts yet i always feel good after helping clarify things by answering these questions. but there's going to be people who think feeders are all wackjobs, no matter how inquisitive they appear. kind of like HFC always asking the liberals here to defend themselves despite not really giving a shit how they answer.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jun 27, 2006)

I would say the majority of people here are not into feederism, but when a majority accepts a minority, I think it's interesting. Humans are pretty intolerant as a whole.

The majority of feeders are normal. Of course. However, I think even in the minds of people who *tolerate* them, the thoughts are something like, "...Weird... Mildly icky." I don't think you learn to *accept* people until you force yourself to go outside your comfort zone and ask questions. I'd consider myself still sort of undoing the societal training that feeders are not exclusively feeders. I intellectually know better, but y'know. It's still higher up my fun list than playing in bloody vomit and crap though. 

WAY HIGHER!


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## TONYS (Jun 27, 2006)

Just to throw my 3 cents in................being a feeder makes the numbers bigger. SImply put it is an orientation to me .....................sorry if there are disagreements. I express love by cooking, feeding, sharing, and for the person I love gaining is reflective of recieving that love. It does not matter how much gain there is but it is important to me as it is not rejection. If my partner lost I would see it as rejection, love being lost. Now the twist is this the feedee feels the same exact way. The feedee needs to gain and feels horrible when there is no gain, not because of the feeder making him/her feel bad, but it is deeply engrained in both personalities. Could I be content with the mental pictures each paint..yes..........as long as I could not see the lossews in person..........SAme as a guy who loves thin girls then marries one and she gets fat, how will he feel? If he is in love it may compensate for it but ultimately it does not push his buttons. Again cooking is how I express my love. Maybe it is a childhood enduced problem.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 27, 2006)

Ma? Is that you? 





TONYS said:


> Just to throw my 3 cents in................being a feeder makes the numbers bigger. SImply put it is an orientation to me .....................sorry if there are disagreements. I express love by cooking, feeding, sharing, and for the person I love gaining is reflective of recieving that love. It does not matter how much gain there is but it is important to me as it is not rejection. If my partner lost I would see it as rejection, love being lost. Now the twist is this the feedee feels the same exact way. The feedee needs to gain and feels horrible when there is no gain, not because of the feeder making him/her feel bad, but it is deeply engrained in both personalities. Could I be content with the mental pictures each paint..yes..........as long as I could not see the lossews in person..........SAme as a guy who loves thin girls then marries one and she gets fat, how will he feel? If he is in love it may compensate for it but ultimately it does not push his buttons. Again cooking is how I express my love. Maybe it is a childhood enduced problem.


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## SamanthaNY (Jun 27, 2006)

> for the person I love gaining is reflective of recieving that love
> If my partner lost I would see it as rejection, love being lost.
> The feedee needs to gain and feels horrible when there is no gain
> it is deeply engrained in both personalities. Could I be content with the mental pictures each paint..yes..........as long as I could not see the losses in person


I do understand that people enjoy feeding and gaining for fun, or sexual pleasure. But... to see another person's worth, and your own worth, by how much your partner gains? Judging love and acceptance by your partner's ability (or inability) to gain weight? I mean no disrespect, but these statements seem _extremely_ disturbing. 

Or, are these things okay, and this is just a level of feederism that I can't comprehend?


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## Rainahblue (Jun 27, 2006)

dan ex machina said:


> i know you're not slamming feeders and i got your point but let's backtrack. this is a post called "why is feeding accepted?" on the world's largest feeder acceptance (tolerance?) forum. there's going to be defensiveness. personally, i don't go to a foot fetish forum and say "eww" or even "hey, foot fetishes aren't for me." and who's to say there aren't any psycho foot fetishists who cut off women's feet? that said, i get frustrated having to "defend" myself in these posts yet i always feel good after helping clarify things by answering these questions. but there's going to be people who think feeders are all wackjobs, no matter how inquisitive they appear. kind of like HFC always asking the liberals here to defend themselves despite not really giving a shit how they answer.



Remember that this wasn't a random post, or a post created by the masses, this was a question asked in all seriousness by one person. Me. I think I've made it clear that I didn't know what feeding was about, I only had my misconceptions to work from, and I was curious. I'm a curious being. Fortunately, I'm not feline, so I have no worries. There's no need for defensiveness since as I've already mentioned, I posted the question to better understand, not to start any sort of conflict. 

 Focus on the "feel good" part of answering any questions, since I for one do give a shit how everyone answers.​


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## Rainahblue (Jun 27, 2006)

swordchick said:


> ... This post gave me more insight on the subject and it also made me less annoyed about people who involved in feederism and weight gain. I was just really ignorant about this.



Could I have said it any better myself? 
Me thinks not.​


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## Next_Exit (Jun 27, 2006)

Oookay, I am going to put my two cents worth here. Not that anyone cares. I love food. The taste of it, the smell of it, textures, food itself _IS _erotic. And if a man wants to make me dinner, hell yeah! *BUT*, I would never intentionally gain weight. Knowing the trials of being a heavy girl I can't see myself making myself heavy to the point of like..not being able to move. Gain ten lbs? Sure do it all the time, I lose here and there, too. Am I a feedee? Nope, just a bbw who enjoys a good meal.


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## Next_Exit (Jun 27, 2006)

Rainahblue said:


> I for one do give a shit how everyone answers.​




Rainah...who knew you gave a shit? :shocked: hehehe


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## Rainahblue (Jun 27, 2006)

Next_Exit said:


> Oookay, I am going to put my two cents worth here. Not that anyone cares. I love food. The taste of it, the smell of it, textures, food itself _IS _erotic. And if a man wants to make me dinner, hell yeah! *BUT*, I would never intentionally gain weight. Knowing the trials of being a heavy girl I can't see myself making myself heavy to the point of like..not being able to move. Gain ten lbs? Sure do it all the time, I lose here and there, too. Am I a feedee? Nope, just a bbw who enjoys a good meal.



Hey! I care about your two cents! .... {insert joke here}.​


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## LJ Rock (Jun 27, 2006)

Totmacher said:


> Who said it's accepted? There are times, all too frequently, when it would be a strain to say it's tolerated. I think feeding is allowed here because what we're hoping for is understanding: I think that the ultimate goal is to have it be familliar enough that when someone says, " I'm a feeder" a) (s)he doesn't need to have balls of steel and b) everybody else doesn't assume that he/she's not some sort of dysfunctional, misogynist/misanthrope, BDSM obsessed, predator the same way that in some social circles people still automatically assume you're homosexual or have self esteem issues if you say that you, "prefer a girl with some meat on her bones."
> 
> My personal views on the subject is that it's difficult to make generalizations about feederism. For some it's a fetish, for others it's just something you did once to spice things up in the bedroom, and, I like to think, the majority of people fall somewhere in the middle.



well said, Totmacher. cheers!


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## LJ Rock (Jun 27, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Rationally, it's a fantasy.
> 
> Realistically, actually getting a chance to talk with someone who _enjoys_ becoming fatter is an incredible, mind-blowing experience for a feeder. It can be a mutual relationship or one with elements of dom/sub behavior, not necessarily with the man being the dom. In fact, it's interesting to consider the hunger itself as the dom in the relationship with both the feeder and the feedee being subs to that hunger.
> 
> ...




also very well put, fatlane. cheers!


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## LJ Rock (Jun 27, 2006)

dan ex machina said:


> it's not a choice. believe me, my world would be much easier if i never had to explain to another girlfriends why the fantasy of force feeding her would turn me on. my own fetish makes me sick sometimes and while i'm proud of being unique, just like many bbws would rather be thin just because it's EASIER to be the norm



I can identify with the feeling of being "sickened" by my own fantasies at times. It's not always easy to have such unusual taste sexual activity. But, I can take comfort in two things: 

1) when it comes to sexuality and sexual fantasies *nothing* is really too freaky or weird. Everyone has something strange or kinky that they like, something that when taken out of it's context will shock and potentially offend people who don't understand it.... and I mean *everybody!* wether they admit or not! 

2) for me, the line of feederism is mostly drawn at the point of fantasy/escapism for me. If my fantasies do slip their way into my real life, it's just fun role-playing type feeding, and not a commitment to some "life style choice" or "orientation."

I think the key to survival with any kind of kink or fetish is knowing where to draw that line between fantasy and reality. If a person defines themselves entirely (or near entirety) buy their sexuality, then there is really a problem there! If a person allows their fantasies to come in and take over their life and their personality, in the end they will only suffer.... not to mention the people around them who love them and care about them.

This can be said about most anything in life... ie: too much of anything ain't good for you, knowing your limits, living in moderation, etc.


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## LJ Rock (Jun 27, 2006)

PrettyFatGirl4U said:


> First of all, in my opinion, there are different types of feeding....the kind that gets the most negative press is the aggressive eat till you burst, in enormous quantities for the sole purpose of getting ever fatter often with a goal of immobility (real or fantasized) as an desired outcome type. This type of feeding often involves force and submission as well as aggressive "apparatus" like funnels, tube feeding and fantasy based feeding machines. Foods include weightgain powders, pure cream, foods that many not have high gourmet appeal but are a medium for high fat intake like ingesting sticks of butter. The goal seems to be weight gain rather than gustatory delight.
> 
> This scenario includes the "legendary" evil feeder who professes undying love and devotion to the compliant feedee/gainer until is the feedee is either immmobile/ill and unable to continue to gain at which point the feedee is left high and dry, dependant, helpless and super morbidly obese. You'll note the abscence of gender identification because altho the urban myths seem most commonly to center around the male feeder/female feedee there is no gender exclusivity.
> 
> ...




Right on! Well said!


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## Next_Exit (Jun 27, 2006)

My sister gained 15 lbs on Slim Fast. lol!


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## LJ Rock (Jun 27, 2006)

LillyBBBW said:


> When JR got shot on Dallas, he wasn't 'really' shot - it was all an act. People talked about it all summer long but nobody actually believed Larry Hagman was dead. It was all in great fun.
> 
> I really think that people get too excited over nothing. There are some fantasies that are impossible to fulfill - like being stomped by a 75 foot woman, or being stuffed inside of a boot, or watching a person gain 50 pounds before your eyes. If consenting adults feed a fantasy with a phony photo or a crazy story I don't see what's wrong with that. 98% of what we see around here IS fantasy. These are people who would have been fat anyway even if they never even heard of gaining and all that. So they throw the photos up on the board because they know that there are mugs here who dig that kind of stuff, big deal.
> 
> So a guy wants to rub my belly while I eat. Personally after the third or fourth time I would get sick and tired of him, but that's just me. The WG stories don't do anything for me either but if I found out the neighbor was reading one and rubbing his sweetie's belly while she ate I wouldn't call the cops. I think people are making more of it than what it is.




Amen, Lilly.... an example I used to use: a woman may have a fantasy about being rescued from a burning building and swept away by a big, burly fireman.... it doesn't mean she's gonna really set her house on fire! How boring life would be if we didn't have imagination and fantasy, a little "deviation" from reality once in a while.


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## fatlane (Jun 27, 2006)

Let's all go out for ice cream after posting today!


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## Next_Exit (Jun 27, 2006)

Cookie dough for me!


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## fatlane (Jun 27, 2006)

Yay! I win the Internet!


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## Next_Exit (Jun 27, 2006)

How'd you do that?


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## Stormy (Jun 27, 2006)

LJ Rock said:


> 1) when it comes to sexuality and sexual fantasies *nothing* is really too freaky or weird. Everyone has something strange or kinky that they like, something that when taken out of it's context will shock and potentially offend people who don't understand it.... and I mean *everybody!* wether they admit or not!


Really? Everyone? Nobody gets off on "normal" sex, like just nipple and genital stimulation, without any fantasies about something else happening? I think "weird" stuff is much more common among men, but nobody I've dated has ever told me about any fetish or kink they had. I've never told any of them about mine either though. I still don't think it's even close to 100% though. Most porn sites seem to involve pretty "normal" sex stuff.

It took me until my early 30's to really even begin to understand my fantasies involving eating and drinking to excess and weight gain. Without the Internet allowing me to encounter like-minded people I probably never would have. Before that it was extremely difficult for me to have an orgasm at all. It doesn't seem to be that way for most people. I'm not really into feeding, at least not in having someone else determine what or how much I eat, or encourage me to eat. I guess I'm more into self-feeding. Someday I hope to be able to share at least some of my fantasies with a partner who would at least not be revolted by it, accept it and play along even if it doesn't turn them on.



LJ Rock said:


> 2) for me, the line of feederism is mostly drawn at the point of fantasy/escapism for me. If my fantasies do slip their way into my real life, it's just fun role-playing type feeding, and not a commitment to some "life style choice" or "orientation."
> 
> I think the key to survival with any kind of kink or fetish is knowing where to draw that line between fantasy and reality. If a person defines themselves entirely (or near entirety) buy their sexuality, then there is really a problem there! If a person allows their fantasies to come in and take over their life and their personality, in the end they will only suffer.... not to mention the people around them who love them and care about them.


I agree. If I acted out my fantasies on a regular basis I would not be very healthy or happy for very long. I wish I was turned on by something which could more reasonably be engaged in.


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## pickleman357 (Jun 27, 2006)

Stormy said:


> I agree. If I acted out my fantasies on a regular basis I would not be very healthy or happy for very long. I wish I was turned on by something which could more reasonably be engaged in.



That's the biggest thing about the feeder fetish is that you carry it with you in your day to day life. Other fetishes like spanking, role-playing, etc you can take off, or cover up and leave at home. When get fat, you're fat. There's no real hiding it.

If there way a way you could take off the x00 bls of fat when you go to work, and put it back on, there would be nothing wrong with feederism.

There are definatly degrees of feederism. And it can definatly blend with being an FA. its like;
"I admire fat, if that woman had more fat, I would have more to admire. How can she get fatter? Feed her."
Of course this is where it becomes a problem if you don't realise;
"She's going to have to haul every ounce of that fat with her in her day to day life. Who am I to determind how she should live?"

My thoughts about the whole thing goes like this. 
Its her body, she and only her, has the right to decide what to do with it. I'll talk to her about my love of fat so she knows, but I will let her know that I don't want her to be unhappy just so I can get a boner. Of course if she decides that she wants to gain 10 lbs, say to fit nicely in the next size up or something. I'd be really horny really quickly. But I don't NEED her to gain weight inorder for me to become aroused by her. Its just something different. Kinda like a roller coaster, fun for a bit, but you don't want to spend the rest of your life on one.

I'm rambling... sorry


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## Rainahblue (Jun 27, 2006)

activistfatgirl said:


> I just want to point out how ridiculously tangential this thread has been. i sure hope Rainah isn't getting all the posts as emails...



Well duh Rain! I wondered why I had 145 messages in my bulk folder this morning... ​


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## Stormy (Jun 27, 2006)

pickleman357 said:


> Of course if she decides that she wants to gain 10 lbs, say to fit nicely in the next size up or something. I'd be really horny really quickly. But I don't NEED her to gain weight inorder for me to become aroused by her.


There's also the option of imaginary weight gain. It might not work for everyone, but it does for me, and I do that more often than the real thing. There is always some fat to play with and jiggle and imagine there's more of, that it's growing, wearing clothes too small so I look and feel bigger, etc. It's not as much fun as actually eating lots of food, being stuffed with a distended stomach and really gaining weight, but still orgasmable.


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## pickleman357 (Jun 27, 2006)

Stormy said:


> There's also the option of imaginary weight gain. It might not work for everyone, but it does for me, and I do that more often than the real thing. There is always some fat to play with and jiggle and imagine there's more of, that it's growing, wearing clothes too small so I look and feel bigger, etc. It's not as much fun as actually eating lots of food, being stuffed with a distended stomach and really gaining weight, but still orgasmable.



Like the whole -> put on a way too small button shirt, sit down and watch the buttons fly accross the room?

Yeah, that's hot. I know what you mean. Just helping define how big your/she/he is, though acts and different things


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## Mini (Jun 27, 2006)

TONYS said:


> Just to throw my 3 cents in................being a feeder makes the numbers bigger. SImply put it is an orientation to me .....................sorry if there are disagreements. I express love by cooking, feeding, sharing, and for the person I love gaining is reflective of recieving that love. It does not matter how much gain there is but it is important to me as it is not rejection. If my partner lost I would see it as rejection, love being lost. Now the twist is this the feedee feels the same exact way. The feedee needs to gain and feels horrible when there is no gain, not because of the feeder making him/her feel bad, but it is deeply engrained in both personalities. Could I be content with the mental pictures each paint..yes..........as long as I could not see the lossews in person..........SAme as a guy who loves thin girls then marries one and she gets fat, how will he feel? If he is in love it may compensate for it but ultimately it does not push his buttons. Again cooking is how I express my love. Maybe it is a childhood enduced problem.



Thank you, Tony, for setting your people back a thousand years.


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## fatlane (Jun 27, 2006)

Stormy said:


> There's also the option of imaginary weight gain. It might not work for everyone, but it does for me, and I do that more often than the real thing. There is always some fat to play with and jiggle and imagine there's more of, that it's growing, wearing clothes too small so I look and feel bigger, etc. It's not as much fun as actually eating lots of food, being stuffed with a distended stomach and really gaining weight, but still orgasmable.



Oh mercy. It's getting warm in here.

POST PIX PLZ TANX!


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## Next_Exit (Jun 27, 2006)

Most of the girls I know try to make themselves look smaller instead of bigger. I dont care. lol. I'm just comfortable the way I am I guess. 

Casey


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## TONYS (Jun 28, 2006)

SamanthaNY said:


> I do understand that people enjoy feeding and gaining for fun, or sexual pleasure. But... to see another person's worth, and your own worth, by how much your partner gains? Judging love and acceptance by your partner's ability (or inability) to gain weight? I mean no disrespect, but these statements seem _extremely_ disturbing.
> 
> Or, are these things okay, and this is just a level of feederism that I can't comprehend?


 
Thank you for your last sentence. Sometimes communicating with words can be difficult, as it does not at times convey the intent of the writer adequately, especially if the writer is not very good, as I am. 

Being in love with a person is the most important thing in this life. I love my partner regardless of gains or loss, yet as in anything there is a deep understanding/need that is deeply engrained in the feeder /feedee. This is the NEED to be fed, and the NEED in the mind to talk about/experience gaining.....and to paint mental pictures for each other. Both are in love with each other but they cant escape this esental element for a passionate relationship. 

If gains never happened and love was the tie that binds both would strive to fulfill this part of themselves, both understand their deep passions and would strive in the head to fulfill the other. It is essential that a feedeer/feedee couple be matched as a foodee/feeder couple are sexually at odds with each other I believe at times, therefore complete fulfillment is more difficult. 

If two people are joined together simply for the feeder/feedee portions then their relationship will have trouble in the long run and all the rightful fears of being abandoned are legitimate. Falling in love is the most important element of a relationship. 

I hope my feeble attemt at clarification helped some what.


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## LJ Rock (Jun 28, 2006)

Stormy said:


> Really? Everyone? Nobody gets off on "normal" sex, like just nipple and genital stimulation, without any fantasies about something else happening? I think "weird" stuff is much more common among men, but nobody I've dated has ever told me about any fetish or kink they had. I've never told any of them about mine either though. I still don't think it's even close to 100% though. Most porn sites seem to involve pretty "normal" sex stuff.



Hi Stormy. I honestly do believe that nearly everyone, men and women, have their own sexual fantasies or fetishes that help them to escape the "real world" and immerse themselves into the passion of sex/love making/self gratification. If you think about it, it's almost like a meditation practice: eliminating all thoughts of work, bills, and day to day problems and allowing your mind and body to focus entirely on the physical sensations that are happening to you. 

For some people that might mean focusing on a specific body part, be it their own or one of their partner's (ie feet, belly, breasts, ass etc.) For some folks it could involve a certain tactile sensation, like wearing a certain article of clothing or applying some kind of lubricant to the skin, or maybe it has to do with having a specific object present.

For many others it might involve playing out a certain scenario or fantasy by either imagining it in their mind or acting it out in some way. That's where weight gain and feederism come into play for a lot of folks here. One's individual fantasies relates to them on a personal level that is as unique and imaginitive as they are. That's why even here on this board, a place that is supposed to be under the umbrella of fat admiration and weight gain fantasy, there are so many differing points of veiw and opinions; no two people's sexual fantasies are going to be exactly that same.

But everybody's got their "thing" that gets them going. We all just don't talk about it, because in our society it's still kind of considered "taboo" to be that open and "brazen" with one's sexuality. 

As for the so-called "normal" porn, which I guess involves two skinny anglo-looking people having straight missionary style sex... who is to say that is "normal?" From my perspective, and from the perspective of a lot of folks here I am sure, that stuff really doesn't do anything for me. It's fun to watch sometimes, sure, but it sure as hell don't get MY blood pumping like looking at some BBW/feeding stuff would. And if you look at how many different kinds of "fetish" porn sites there are: stomping, squashing, sloshing... whatever, it seems pretty clear that damn near everybody on this earth has some kind of turn on other than just pure "normal sex." 



Stormy said:


> It took me until my early 30's to really even begin to understand my fantasies involving eating and drinking to excess and weight gain. Without the Internet allowing me to encounter like-minded people I probably never would have. Before that it was extremely difficult for me to have an orgasm at all. It doesn't seem to be that way for most people. I'm not really into feeding, at least not in having someone else determine what or how much I eat, or encourage me to eat. I guess I'm more into self-feeding. Someday I hope to be able to share at least some of my fantasies with a partner who would at least not be revolted by it, accept it and play along even if it doesn't turn them on.



I can identify. Until I discovered Juggs magazine about ten years ago (a kind of crude mag which I haven't bought in years! lol) I had no idea that there were seriously other people in the world who had an attraction to fat. And when I found Dimensions around 2000 and saw that I wasn't the only person in the universe who had ever fantasized about feeding or weight gain, it was a revelation! It's wonderful that we have this medium now called the internet to talk openly and discuss our thoughts and feelings... I believe that that even still, it is important for each of us to look deep into ourselves and really get in touch with our selves, our bodies, our sexuality, and really understand who we are and how what we think and feel relates to the world around us. If sites and forums like this one can help serve as a catalyst for such self exploration, then amen and so be it.  




Stormy said:


> I agree. If I acted out my fantasies on a regular basis I would not be very healthy or happy for very long. I wish I was turned on by something which could more reasonably be engaged in.



I hear you, Stormy. But then again, I really love my little fantasies and bed-time stories I tell myself. And the truth is, I wouldn't want to live a lot of that stuff out in real life. It's more fun and satisfying in a lot of ways to just imagine and fantasize about weight gain. I suppose that means I am not a "true feeder," but rather just an FA with feederistic tendencies.


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## Stormy (Jun 28, 2006)

LJ Rock said:


> As for the so-called "normal" porn, which I guess involves two skinny anglo-looking people having straight missionary style sex... who is to say that is "normal?" From my perspective, and from the perspective of a lot of folks here I am sure, that stuff really doesn't do anything for me. It's fun to watch sometimes, sure, but it sure as hell don't get MY blood pumping like looking at some BBW/feeding stuff would. And if you look at how many different kinds of "fetish" porn sites there are: stomping, squashing, sloshing... whatever, it seems pretty clear that damn near everybody on this earth has some kind of turn on other than just pure "normal sex."


I don't think there is really any normal, put it in quotes because I meant the kind of sex I think most people have and fantasize about -- a man and woman having intercourse, and/or oral, maybe anal, sex, genital/nipple stimulation, etc. Two thin/average people having missionary sex, with no other fantasies or anything else involved, doesn't do much for me either, but I think it does for many if not most people. Maybe I'm wrong; admittedly I don't know very many people, and have discussed sexual fantasies with few of them. But like I said no one I have dated has ever brought up any other fantasies. Sure there are lots of fetishes and people into different stuff and sites dedicated to them, like this one, but most of the porn sites I've seen, when not specifically looking for fat/eating stuff, mostly involve relatively "normal" sex. I've also known people, all females, who have never had an orgasm, will maybe have sex to satisfy their partners, but aren't really into anything sexual.



fatlane said:


> POST PIX PLZ TANX!


OK. I'm feeling brave, hope I don't regret this. Here is me trying to look as fat as possible. I've actually lost some weight recently (it is in a constant state of fluctuation), but can pretend I've been bingeing on pizza and doughnuts and just outgrew these clothes.  

View attachment picture.jpg


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## fatlane (Jun 28, 2006)

Stormy said:


> I don't think there is really any normal, put it in quotes because I meant the kind of sex I think most people have and fantasize about -- a man and woman having intercourse, and/or oral, maybe anal, sex, genital/nipple stimulation, etc. Two thin/average people having missionary sex, with no other fantasies or anything else involved, doesn't do much for me either, but I think it does for many if not most people. Maybe I'm wrong; admittedly I don't know very many people, and have discussed sexual fantasies with few of them. But like I said no one I have dated has ever brought up any other fantasies. Sure there are lots of fetishes and people into different stuff and sites dedicated to them, like this one, but most of the porn sites I've seen, when not specifically looking for fat/eating stuff, mostly involve relatively "normal" sex. I've also known people, all females, who have never had an orgasm, will maybe have sex to satisfy their partners, but aren't really into anything sexual.
> 
> 
> OK. I'm feeling brave, hope I don't regret this. Here is me trying to look as fat as possible. I've actually lost some weight recently (it is in a constant state of fluctuation), but can pretend I've been bingeing on pizza and doughnuts and just outgrew these clothes.




SCORE! Showin' the way for how easy it is to post pix plz tanx!!!


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## Next_Exit (Jun 28, 2006)

Very brave indeed! I would feel odd posting a photo here. I have one in my profile thingy of course, but if I tried looking as fat as I possibly could? oh goo grief. lol, 

Casey


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## Seth Warren (Jun 28, 2006)

Next_Exit said:


> My sister gained 15 lbs on Slim Fast. lol!



Now _that_ is beautiful!


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 28, 2006)

Next_Exit said:


> Very brave indeed! I would feel odd posting a photo here. I have one in my profile thingy of course, but if I tried looking as fat as I possibly could? oh goo grief. lol,
> 
> Casey



I tell you what would be funny. If we have a skinny contest. Everybody employs all the 'slimming' appearance tricks and take a photo so we can see if it works and have a hearty laugh at the same time.


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## comngetmeFA (Jun 28, 2006)

Stormy said:


> I've also known people, all females, *who have never had an orgasm*




Whenever I heard this, I feel kind of bad--How can that happen!:shocked: And then at the same time I just think it seems sort of idiotic...I mean, I know this is supposed to be a real medical problem/diagnosis and perhaps rooted in some sort psychological blocking (perhaps, maybe when they were young their mothers told them it was not appropriate to do such). But then there are those who might not even desire to experience it, but it is impossible not to explore one's own body. And then seeing women in their 30s/40s and on, not having experienced this?:doh: Wow.


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## comngetmeFA (Jun 28, 2006)

comngetmeFA said:


> Whenever I heard this



meant _hear_


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## Roxanna (Jun 28, 2006)

[edit] Ignore ..


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## Santaclear (Jun 29, 2006)

Stormy said:


> I don't think there is really any normal....maybe anal, sex, genital/nipple stimulation, etc. Maybe I'm wrong; admittedly I don't know very many people
> OK. I'm feeling brave, hope I don't regret this. Here is me trying to look as fat as possible.



Tempestuous curves, way hot and bothersome, Stormy! :smitten: Great makeup jpb too.


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## Next_Exit (Jun 29, 2006)

Seth Warren said:


> Now _that_ is beautiful!



I'll tell her you said so.


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## Next_Exit (Jun 29, 2006)

LillyBBBW said:


> I tell you what would be funny. If we have a skinny contest. Everybody employs all the 'slimming' appearance tricks and take a photo so we can see if it works and have a hearty laugh at the same time.



I've tried it all, even the black top, all a black top did was make me look flat chested. lol!! Then I tried vertical stripes. I looked like a freakin moron. Lastly but not least. I got a bustier. 

Ya don't wanna know.


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## Rainahblue (Jun 29, 2006)

Ok, I do like to show off my body simply because I think that it's beautiful, so if that's another aspect of feederism I can certainly appreciate it! 

I know what you mean, Casey. Trying to attain the "slimmer" look is just impossible and I'm glad I don't attempt that anymore. I was constantly worried about it in high school though. Ugh, bad memories.

I still get a thrill when I see a fat person flaunting their body, I admit. I love seeing anyone thumb their nose at society's standards - it's always inspiring.

 Hoping this post makes sense, cos I'm trying to sing and type simultaneously...​


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## Next_Exit (Jun 29, 2006)

Rainahblue said:


> Ok, I do like to show off my body simply because I think that it's beautiful, so if that's another aspect of feederism I can certainly appreciate it!
> 
> I know what you mean, Casey. Trying to attain the "slimmer" look is just impossible and I'm glad I don't attempt that anymore. I was constantly worried about it in high school though. Ugh, bad memories.
> 
> ...




Call me shy, but I rarely flaunt my body. lol.  High school was hideous. I wore muu-muu type clothes and hid behind my hair.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jun 29, 2006)

Next_Exit said:


> Call me shy, but I rarely flaunt my body. lol.  High school was hideous. I wore muu-muu type clothes and hid behind my hair.



I always flaunt my body, lol, I wear those skimpy tank tops with a built in bra...and I wear them tight....cuz they dont come any bigger, lol...guys are always checking me out


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## Seth Warren (Jun 29, 2006)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> I always flaunt my body, lol, I wear those skimpy tank tops with a built in bra...and I wear them tight....cuz they dont come any bigger, lol...guys are always checking me out



Such a shame there aren't more big women like you. Heh. This is probably why people post "sightings" threads - aside from the Paysite forums, it really is rare to see a BBW or SSBBW being sexy in public. So, I kind of understand the "OMGWOW!!! I've never seen one of these live before!!!" factor. If I saw you walking down the street as you've just described yourself, I'm sure I'd get that little internal jump of excitement as well. I just wouldn't post a thread about it...


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## Rainahblue (Jun 30, 2006)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> I always flaunt my body, lol, I wear those skimpy tank tops with a built in bra...and I wear them tight....cuz they dont come any bigger, lol...guys are always checking me out



Isn't it awesome when someone checks you out and the thin person they're with gets ticked off? 

That always gives me the giggles.  ​


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## lipmixgirl (Jun 30, 2006)

LillyBBBW said:


> Man, everybody likes food. Yanking the chain of someone who likes when girls eat is so easy it's like falling off of a log. If she knows it turns you on she's gonna put on a tight nighty that makes her ass sore and coo, "Ooooo, I've been a bad bad girl," even though she spent the whole day at home in a t-shirt eating cereal and diet gingerale.
> 
> My clothes are tighter every month round the same time. If I wanted to get laid - which usually goes without saying 'round that time - I'd exploit it, sure. You can't use the tricks of the female trade as a litmus test for a mindset. It kinda works out for everybody until you begin to notice a few months later that she's stayed round the same dress size as the day you met give or take. Either that or she'll go on a diet to avoid having to blow all her money on a new summer wardrobe.
> 
> I'm not saying there aren't women like that who exist, just that the numbers may not be as high as you think.


 

i agree lilly... for many men and women it is all about the game - whether they realize it or not...


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## lipmixgirl (Jun 30, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Sweet fancy Moses, but that's hot!
> 
> 100% XXX NON-KOSHER BAD GIRL ACTION!!!


 

where does 100% xxx kosher bad girl action fit into this dynamic?


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## lipmixgirl (Jun 30, 2006)

Rainahblue said:


> "Being a feeder or feedee is not really a CHOICE, any more than one's sexual orientation is a choice."
> If that's the case, that would make a world of difference in how I see this aspect of FA. My sexual orientation is definitely the way I_ am_ as opposed to being a choice, so I would certainly understand that. I just assumed it was a fetish like any other, but it struck me as demeaning because it's associated with weight.
> 
> ​


 
after being encouraged to read the thread, i did... and now am going to throw my 2 cents onto the board... this thread has allowed me to gain a better insight into the practice and non-practice of the feederism fetish/lifestyle... 


while i disagree with feederism being labeled an "orientation"... i do feel that it is a fetish... the fetish (from the latin word "facere" which means "to create") objectifies... the sexual gratification comes from the intended or implied act of creation. in this case, the creation is body modification in the form of gaining... the idea or act of the transformation and metamorphosis of the body as the desired object... 

there is a fantastical differentiation between those persons who practice their feederism fetish from the mindset of fantasy and play as opposed to those who seek to construct their daily reality revolving around the feeder/feedee lifestyle... 

for those persons actively practicing any fetish as a lifestyle, it makes me wonder what is really going in the lives of these people that they must construct a reality which serves as a means of control - in a clearly out-of-control life.


any rational sensible individual knows that utilizing the fantasy of fetish purely in the context of consensual adult play does not necessarily need to become anything more than consensual adult play...

just as well, any rational sensible individual should also know that in the case of fetish, to actively practice such fetish as a lifestyle is dangerous on many different physical, emotional, and psychological levels...


as i always say, wanna eat chocolate covered strawberries in bed and have at it like bunnies, fantastic... wanna feed your partner/be fed and/or be accepting of weight gain until they/you have health and/or quality of life issues, seek professional help...



the big apple has spoken...

::exeunt:: :bow:


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jun 30, 2006)

Seth Warren said:


> Such a shame there aren't more big women like you. Heh. This is probably why people post "sightings" threads - aside from the Paysite forums, it really is rare to see a BBW or SSBBW being sexy in public. So, I kind of understand the "OMGWOW!!! I've never seen one of these live before!!!" factor. If I saw you walking down the street as you've just described yourself, I'm sure I'd get that little internal jump of excitement as well. I just wouldn't post a thread about it...










See....it's way too small, and Im hella fat, but I look mad cute and soft! guys love that! I wear this top out all the time...to any occiasion, lol. I have no shame, I let my flab hang all out

I should add this pic was taken right after a long day of driving and a car accident...sorry I dont look so cute, lol.


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## Seth Warren (Jun 30, 2006)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> ~photograph~
> 
> See....it's way too small, and Im hella fat, but I look mad cute and soft! guys love that! I wear this top out all the time...to any occiasion, lol. I have no shame, I let my flab hang all out
> 
> I should add this pic was taken right after a long day of driving and a car accident...sorry I dont look so cute, lol.



Okay, now you're just trying to turn me on...and it's working.  

In any case, if you posted the photo with no context, the phrase "car accident" would have never crossed my mind. "Mad cute and soft" - yes, most definitely.


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## olivefun (Jul 1, 2006)

That picture is fantastic.
Nothing is more attractive than a beautiful woman who takes pleasure in how she looks. I see skinny women adjusting their tops "just so" in order to hide what they think of as a "figure flaw".


I hate giving a person a compliment, and having them tell me, I am wrong, it is not a nice hat, they don't look good, "this old thing".

I am pleased that men find me attractive. The only thing about the feeder thing that sometimes gets annoying for me is the thought that I am just passing through. I hate being told I am a beautiful woman, but if I would just lose a few pounds...

Being told I am a beautiful woman, now if I would just gain a few pounds... is different, but I don't like to think of myself as a work in process, if you know what I mean.

Makes me think of the Japanese writer Yukio Mishima and his thoughts about his own body as art form.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jul 1, 2006)

I totally understand how you feel as far as not being good enough. Thankfully I have a man who makes it a point to tell me I am perfect as I am but if I lost or gained weight, I would still be perfect. Kinda puts the ball in my court, and I love that.

Thank you for telling me my pic is fantastic I have tons of flaws, but so does everyone else and if I think about it too long I would be wearing mumus or something like it, lol. But if I don't dwell on the negative and I just look in the mirror....I generally love what I see. I actually like my huge, soft, rolly, body. Weird, I know


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## Next_Exit (Jul 1, 2006)

BigBellySSBBW said:
 

> I totally understand how you feel as far as not being good enough. Thankfully I have a man who makes it a point to tell me I am perfect as I am but if I lost or gained weight, I would still be perfect. Kinda puts the ball in my court, and I love that.
> 
> Thank you for telling me my pic is fantastic I have tons of flaws, but so does everyone else and if I think about it too long I would be wearing mumus or something like it, lol. But if I don't dwell on the negative and I just look in the mirror....I generally love what I see. I actually like my huge, soft, rolly, body. Weird, I know



I love the fact that yall are so happy with your bodies! If only more of us were like that.  I don't hate my body. Sometimes I'm just not comfortable with it if that makes any sense at all. Sort of like. I dont know what to do with it. lol. I've been single for six years, I live in a small town that like their women teeny and thin. I've met a few men who like bigger girls here, but not that many and there is an all out FIGHT when one is found. lol! But yes, I admire you two for your positivity. 

Casey


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## Rainahblue (Jul 3, 2006)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> See....it's way too small, and Im hella fat, but I look mad cute and soft! guys love that! I wear this top out all the time...to any occiasion, lol. I have no shame, I let my flab hang all out
> 
> I should add this pic was taken right after a long day of driving and a car accident...sorry I dont look so cute, lol.



Wow, I didn't know this was here... that IS a fantastic pic *BigBellySSBBW*!  

I wish more fat chicks (speaking for myself for those of you who don't like the word fat) felt comfy enough to wear clothes that flattered them. I had my muumuu days too, though. It's funny, I wore tents when I was smaller and now I wear whatever the hell I want to. 
Go figure.​


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jul 3, 2006)

Rainahblue said:


> Wow, I didn't know this was here... that IS a fantastic pic *BigBellySSBBW*!
> 
> I wish more fat chicks (speaking for myself for those of you who don't like the word fat) felt comfy enough to wear clothes that flattered them. I had my muumuu days too, though. It's funny, I wore tents when I was smaller and now I wear whatever the hell I want to.
> Go figure.​




Awww thanks....so you think Im cute, eh? lol. Sometimes I think I am blowing smoke...so it is nice to hear other people think I am as attractive as I am in my head, lol


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jul 3, 2006)

You're very beautiful, BBSSBBW, but there's something I need to tell you...

Your boobs are kinda hanging out a little.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jul 3, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> You're very beautiful, BBSSBBW, but there's something I need to tell you...
> 
> Your boobs are kinda hanging out a little.



lol....yeah, the tend to escape those little shelf bra thingies, lol


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## squurp (Jul 3, 2006)

dan ex machina said:


> it's a fetish, not an orientation. as a member of the "dictionary" community, i can testify that the eating/feeding/fat are fetishized actions/body parts. an orientation is simply the type of person you prefer (aka bbws) whereas feedees are merely willing participants for a fetish.




By that definiton, orientation is no more than a fetish that fits into a more mainstream category, or is in itself a collection of separate fetishes? I don't think you make a very good argument for this. 

People are aroused and attracted to both physical and nonphysical attributes. Are these defined as fetishes? Indeed, the a man only being attracted to a woman with a vagina and a feminine shape - is that not a fetish? 

Analytically, it is very hard to break down the differences between fetishes and orientations. THis much I know about myself. 1), I did not choose my orientation/fetish for larger women 2), I did not choose my preference for gaining weight 3) neither of these things, I believe, is the fault of my upbringing and I believe that they are hardwired 4), the strength of these fetishes/orientations is as strong as my preference for being straight. 5) At least some other people feel similarly to this.


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## Kizzume (Jul 3, 2006)

I initially started getting into gaining because it was next to impossible to run into fat gay men that were actaully proud of being big. Every time I got with someone who I thought was hot, they'd make the comment "I need to lose weight" or "I can't wear that becuase it makes me look fat" or other similar things. There'd also be the whole wearing pants jacked up like Erkel and a permanent indent in the belly because they want to cover it up. 

I've wanted to run into a guy that takes the "biker" attitude about his size and appearance that isn't straight. That's still very difficult to find.

Maybe people may disagree with me on this, but the male gay community -seems- a lot harsher towards fat men than the straight community is towards fat women. In the past, the only groups that I've found of gay men that even pseudo-enjoyed being fat was girth&mirth, and then it was generally filled with people who just barely accept that they're fat, wear clothing that looks like crap on anyone and carry themselves with shame (the highrise pants with a tight belt, Ed McMahon or army issue glasses or those huge squarish glasses that one associates with senior citizens that came out in 1982, lots and lots of combovers, suit&tie styles from the late 70's early 80's, bright rainbow shirts that go down to the knees, winnie-the-pooh attire and stickers, carrying around stuffed animals, always clean shaven or with beards that, well, look totally wrong, etc..--never anyone who was proud of looking "manly", it was always this ashamed look), and then there was the bear community that goes right back to the "I need to lose weight" comments all the time. I just got sick of it.

For myself, I'd like to be really big--I'd like to be someone who I can look in the mirror and get an erection. That's my thing for myself, but for the person I'm with, I'm hoping that I can get with someone who's really big and enjoys it--I'm not about to try to get someone to gain weight unless it's what they're asking me to do for/to them, unless they're pushing it. My last boyfriend (whom I had a breakup after he brought a 3rd person in for a triad whom I didn't get along with) I was with for 2 years, and I -never-, not even once, tried to get him to eat more or anything like that--he actually lost about 20 pounds since we had met.

The more I've become what I like to see, the more open minded I have become towards the idea of being with others who don't necessarily fit what I originally looked at, and I've actually started thinking about women once in a while.

I think there -ARE- the people who get into the whole encouraging thing for control, and those people would be trying to control whether it was under the guise of gaining, or being sexually dominant, or really anything--they would be controlling no matter what, and that's sad. It has to be a mutual thing. I think it's sad when there are people who are heavy that are "willing" to gain weight for their lovers--they shouldn't be "willing" to if they're not really into it, that's giving up a lot of freedom and control to someone else, and those types of relationships usually end tragically.


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## Miss Vickie (Jul 3, 2006)

Kizzume, you make some interesting points, and I agree with you wholeheartedly. I'm a (mostly) straight woman and during the time I lived in San Francisco I found that gay women and straight men were FAR more accepting of my size than the gay men were of each other. I mean, going to the Castro district was like friggin' GQ. All these guys with perfect bodies, perfect hair, perfect clothes. Not an ounce of fat on them. And on Polk Street it was the same, though it was a rougher, butchier crowd. 

Why do you think it is that gay men are so much harder on each other than straight man are to straight women? Is it a body competition thing between partners? (In other words, there's no way to compare my body to my husband's. OTOH if I was a guy there could be direct comparison). 

I'm just always curious about why things are the way they are. But I definitely have noticed the same kind of things that you have, even as a semi-outsider.


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## butch (Jul 4, 2006)

Ok, here are a few things I want to throw in here, if anyone might be interested.

First, studies have shown that dieting and weight loss behavior are highest in populations that want to be found attractive/partner with men, so this is why gay men and straight women are more likely to be so body conscious and weight obsessed.

Second, modern society throws around the word fetish in a way that really requires each user of the word to make clear their definition of the word. In effect, there are 3 definitions of fetish:

1)the foundational one, which is an anthropological term about idols that are presumed to have some animating spirit within.

2) the Marxist one, which says that commodities behave like anthropological fetishes, an object imbued with spiritual power or worth beyond its materiality.

and 

3)the Freudian one, which says that a fetish develops when a boy realises his mother does not have a penis and then he fixates on a non-sexual object as a 'penis substitute' to allay his anxiety. In a strict Freudian sense, only men can then have a fetish, since women don't go through the anxiety that 'mommy doesn't have the same parts I do' like little boys do.

I'm not mentioning these to be a smarty-pants (ok, maybe a little), but because I've done research on fat and fetish because I believe very strongly that most sexual behaviors that revolve around fat people are not fetishes. A fetish is not simply a 'variation' in the sexual universe, but as someone else mentioned, I think, a paraphilia.

If I remember correctly, Lacan uses Freud's idea of fetish to suggest that it plays out desire with a substitute on a loop which in some ways might be more pleasurable (through the tension such behavior produces) than if the individual actually had a sexual relationship with the thing itself. I mention this because there is this excellent book called "Female Fetishism" which claims that women can have fetishes, and, more interestingly for our discussion, that they propose a fourth type of fetish-

bulimia.

They think that the behaviors of bulimia are in line with Freudian. Lacanian, and Kleinian views of fetishism. In fact (and for those of you who've read Katharine Gates' fascinating book "Deviant Desires," you'll recognize this part), the authors include a study of college-age women in the UK (this study was done in the 80's, I think) that shows the average woman has incredibly detailed fantasies about eating ice cream, but not particulalry detailed or lengthy descriptions of sexual fantasies.

Which leads me to my last point. Go to Gates' website (deviantdesires.com) and read the interview with Supersize Betsy. Regardless of your opinions about feeders and feedees and all the rest, she will illuminate you. Besides Gates' website and book, Supersize Betsy is also in the book "Fat: the Anthropology of an Obsession" (I think that is the full title) which has an interesting chapter on fat porn written by the professor who hosted Heather Boyle at NYU a few months back. Ms. Supersize Betsy is very articulate about her feedee desires, and whip-smart, too, so you may find your opinions changed a bit if you read up on her.


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## SexxyBBW69 (Jul 6, 2006)

I say if u want to be a feeder or a feedee its your life & do what u want........ & if someone doesnt like it its their problem


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## Rainahblue (Jul 9, 2006)

Miss Vickie said:


> Kizzume, you make some interesting points, and I agree with you wholeheartedly. I'm a (mostly) straight woman and during the time I lived in San Francisco I found that gay women and straight men were FAR more accepting of my size than the gay men were of each other. I mean, going to the Castro district was like friggin' GQ. All these guys with perfect bodies, perfect hair, perfect clothes. Not an ounce of fat on them. And on Polk Street it was the same, though it was a rougher, butchier crowd.
> 
> Why do you think it is that gay men are so much harder on each other than straight man are to straight women? Is it a body competition thing between partners? (In other words, there's no way to compare my body to my husband's. OTOH if I was a guy there could be direct comparison).
> 
> I'm just always curious about why things are the way they are. But I definitely have noticed the same kind of things that you have, even as a semi-outsider.



I totally agree with you both; I've noticed that trend also. Gay and bi women rarely seem to have any disparaging attitudes about my weight, but both of my closest gay male friends are BHM and they have a really difficult time of it. One of my friends actually has 2 boyfriends (he's poly) but they're both so hard on him about his weight, it makes him miserable. He often says that he prefers it to being alone, though, which makes me very sad for him. ​


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## Stormy (Jul 9, 2006)

What about these definitions of fetish:



> Something, such as a material object or a nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification.





> an object or bodily part whose real or fantasized presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression



With this for sexual orientation:



> the inclination of an individual with respect to heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual behavior



Ive mostly understood a fetish as being something which is not a sexual body part or related to sex, but which is sexually arousing and often necessary for arousal and/or climax. Many people, especially males, have a body type they prefer and find more sexually exciting than others, and I see preferring fat partners to be nothing more than that, and fat as a sexual body part. Once the source of excitement isnt only about the presence of extra fat but becoming fatter the line gets blurrier between preference and fetish.

The argument could be made that fantasizing about weight gain, even if such thoughts are necessary for an orgasm, isnt a fetish because its still about a sexual body part, and eating is necessary, so feeding/weight gain is along the lines of nourishing and caring for someone.

Im female and definitely feel that I have a fetish or fetishes. I fantasize about eating and weight gain, and also consuming alcohol to excess, both for myself and other people. There are so many parallels in my thought patterns between the two that Im not sure they are separate. I often combine them into the same fantasy. I know Im really weird, but some other people are also into both food and alcohol fantasies so Im not the only one. I talked about it some in this thread. Thinking about one or both is the only way I can have an orgasm. I never fantasize about anyone simply being fat, only getting fatter. I dont see how fantasizing about alcohol consumption, especially if necessary for orgasm, could not be considered a fetish. 

Ill have to get _Female Fetishism_ (_Deviant Desires_ is also on my book list) but dont understand the reference to bulimia and hope the book does not propose that it is the only type of fetish females can have. Is it about women fantasizing about eating, but not gaining weight? Purging never enters my fantasies, and I think vomit is quite a turn-off, even though it could result from either too much food or alcohol.


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## SexxyBBW69 (Jul 9, 2006)

Stormy said:


> What about these definitions of fetish:
> Im female and definitely feel that I have a fetish or fetishes. I fantasize about eating and weight gain, and also consuming alcohol to excess, both for myself and other people. There are so many parallels in my thought patterns between the two that Im not sure they are separate. I often combine them into the same fantasy. I know Im really weird, but some other people are also into both food and alcohol fantasies so Im not the only one. I talked about it some in this thread. Thinking about one or both is the only way I can have an orgasm. I never fantasize about anyone simply being fat, only getting fatter. I dont see how fantasizing about alcohol consumption, especially if necessary for orgasm, could not be considered a fetish.
> .



I think each one of us have a fetish we dont care to admit or realize it is one.....
I have a few of my own


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## butch (Jul 11, 2006)

Hi Stormy,

Great points about fetishes and fat. I mentioned the definitions because if we're talking about fetish from a psychological standpoint, the use of the word is more specific than the common usage of the word, which seems to include a lot of practices that are not, in terms of a diagnosis, a true fetish.

For example, in the book Female Fetishism (which does not claim bulimia is the only fetish women can have, btw), they discuss how many people refer to the use of latex, rubber, and other textiles in sex as a fetish. Well, if the ultimate goal of wearing and caressing the material is to arouse someone to then have genital contact leading to orgasm, then that is not a fetish, because the latex is not replacing sex, just creating the aroused state that leads to a pleasurable sexual encounter.

But, if the person can only have an orgasm by touching or wearing the latex, and no genital contact of any kind is needed to make that person orgasm, then yes, that is a fetish. This works with body parts in a similar way. If you need only a foot to bring you to orgasm, then you have a fetish, but if the foot play leads to any genital contact, then you don't. Of course some people might be able to switch between the two, sometimes getting off only with foot play, other times needed genital contact to bring orgasm. In that case, I guess the fetish is situational, but I don't think it would be something that would be classified as a paraphilia. This is why most cross-dressers in a therapist's care aren't usually 'treated' for their condition, unless the individual cannot establish a healthy (in the sense of the patient's definition of 'healthy,' not in some normalizing move that denies any non-heterosexual, missionary position sexuality as unhealthy) sexual relationship with another person.

The authors of Female Fetishism propose that bulimia is a fetish not due to its sexual arousal (this is why they call it the fourth fetish, behind anthropological, Marxist, and Freudian fetishes), but because the process of bulimia mirrors what other psychoanalytic theorists claim is the function of a fetish, which is to derive pleasure from the thing which is psychologically protecting you from the anxiety-producing supposed object of desire, instead of the 'rational' object of desire. 

So in bulimia, the aspect of purging, of denying the pleasure of the food consumed, becomes the true source of pleasure, replacing the food which started out as the 'rational' object of desire and thus anxiety. So while food is an obvious source of pleasure for anyone (and thus, as you say, not a fetish since it is meant to bring us pleasure), the practice of bulimia (or any food related behavior) which displaces the pleasure from food out of fear and anxiety onto something else would then be defined as a fetish.

Fetishes are slippery things (insert witticism here), and the word in general gets used in so many ways that it makes it difficult for all of us to have a discussion on this topic because there are so many definitions to choose from. It is important to me because I am tired of hearing people say that being attracted to fat people is a fetish. If you're having genital contact with a fat person, than no, you're not practicing a fetish (and this would obviously include oral, for those who may have limitations due to reach and access issues around traditional forms of penile penetration). If you refuse to have any other type of sex besides, say, fat fold sex, or belly button sex, then yes, you may be practicing a fetish. Now, if the sight of Oprah's infamous red wagon of lard gets your juices flowing, then hell yes! you've got a fetish going on.

Feederism is very tricky, so I'm going to refrain from adding it to my post. But I'd love to hear more about whether it helps or hinders one's sexuality to view some of the things discussed here as fetishes. I also think, Stormy, that for women in particular, food and sexuality are much more intertwined than people care to explore. There's a reason many women I know think the eating scene in "9 1/2 Weeks" is the hottest thing ever. 

Hope I'm not too much of a bore, though.


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## Jes (Jul 13, 2006)

look how smart butchie is!! i like that butchie!


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## activistfatgirl (Jul 13, 2006)

Jes said:


> look how smart butchie is!! i like that butchie!



Yes, Butch is on a roll. Very informative commentary.


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## butch (Jul 13, 2006)

Thanks folks. I'm really not very smart, just nitpicky about vocab and kinda good at research.

Goodness knows I don't understand 95% of Freud, Lacan, and their followers (including that trickster Spivak, Jes). 

I tried to think of a teasing way to respond, Jes and AFG, but couldn't, so here's a wink instead:  .


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## Jes (Jul 13, 2006)

butch said:


> Thanks folks. I'm really not very smart, just nitpicky about vocab and kinda good at research.
> 
> Goodness knows I don't understand 95% of Freud, Lacan, and their followers (including that trickster Spivak, Jes).
> 
> I tried to think of a teasing way to respond, Jes and AFG, but couldn't, so here's a wink instead:  .


i wasn't joking. I fell prey to your dreamy smarty-ness. I particularly like Lacan, though I like all of the neo-Freudians really. I just...I find Lacan special.


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## Stormy (Jul 13, 2006)

Hi, Butch. 



butch said:


> Hope I'm not too much of a bore, though.


No way! I find all of this very interesting. Thanks for the discussion and clarifying your first post in this thread. I should have understood more of it to begin with, but didn’t pay enough attention to the first two types of fetishes because they weren’t about sex or fat gain and therefore not as interesting to me. 

This led me to do some research on eating disorders and I discovered that I may actually be bulimic, even though I never induce vomiting or abuse laxatives (although I am somewhat obsessed with consuming lots of fiber and water, liking to “keep things moving” through me). I thought I had binge eating disorder, and that it didn’t bother me to fast or eat very little in between binges because I used to be anorexic, and am so out of touch with both hunger and satiation that I don’t notice them. This type of bulimia is called non-purging bulimia. But, I’m not sure if I have it, at least anymore, because all the information I read said that bulimic binges are uncontrolled and feelings of guilt, shame, self-hatred, etc. follow them. I used to be that way, but, thanks in large part to Dimensions, no longer feel bad after bingeing, and also usually plan binges, either one meal or a period of time, days or weeks, when I will eat all I want, or all I want of certain things. Like you wrote, food is meant to bring pleasure, and it certainly does to me, now. I’m fascinated with my digestive system, playing and experimenting with it, and the resulting changes in my body. I’m at the best place I’ve ever been regarding food, weight and self-image. Thanks, Dimensions.  Now if I could just look in the mirror naked and like what I see, in both a sexual and nonsexual way, and be able to be naked with a sexual partner and not feel that they also see the negative image (fat, stretch marks, loose skin, flawed mess) that I see, things would be just great.

Anyway, back to sex fetishes.  Clearly, being attracted to fat people is not a fetish in any real definition of the word. In the thread I linked in my previous post, Coyotewild wrote that he cannot have an orgasm during sex. I’ve never had an orgasm as a result of genital or other contact with another person, although I’ve also never had one without stimulating my own genitals. When I do orgasm I am never thinking about sexual activity, but about food and/or alcohol consumption, weight gain, inactivity, etc. So while I don’t have to touch or wear (or eat) something else to have an orgasm, and genital contact is necessary, fantasizing about non-sexual activities is also necessary for both full arousal and orgasm. Although I am masturbating, and sometimes having sex too, my mind is somewhere else while I’m having an orgasm. I’m not sure whether or how much of this is due to a possible sexual fetish or my unease at being naked around, and sharing my sexual fantasies with, a sexual partner.

I don’t normally watch movies, but may have to check out _9 1/2 Weeks_.

Thanks again. What is your educational background, if I may ask?

Edit -- I also wonder what, if anything, my possible bulimia has to do with my fantasies involving weight gain. I don't think most, or even very many, bulimics have sexual fantasies like that.


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## butch (Jul 13, 2006)

Hi Stormy,

I want to respond to your thoughtful and intriguing post, but need time to craft a suitable response. Thanks for the kind words, and I will be back to you very soon.

I think a lot of what we talk about boils down to a simple question, do we feel like our sexual desires, fantasies, and practices are things that bring us joy and bring us closer to our ideals, whatever they may be (spiritual, interpersonal, etc.)? If so, then it really doesn't matter if what we do is a fetish or not, since in this day and age we acknowledge that sex is about much more than procreation. If Freud wasn't concerned with trying to explain why there existed sexual acts that weren't a missionary-style endeavor between a man and a woman, we would never be here discussing fetishes at all, would we , but a wider spectrum of sex instead:eat2: .


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