# Las Vegas BBW bash: for feeders and feedees



## rubens_feeder (Jul 13, 2010)

Hi

How about the following idea, for all you feeders and feedees that will go to the Las Vegas BBW bash shortly:

We could wear a recognition mark, that looks innocently to others, but make us recognize eachother. I know that feeders and feedees get still very discriminated. I just had a relationship end because I was open enough to tell that big woman that I was a feeder. It was too much for her take, as she said. So going to the bash, I feel scared to mention it to anybody, because there are so many people that are totally not ok with it. 

I am going there shortly, but would like to meet anybody that shares my interests, it would be really exciting. I guess a lot of feedees probably would not want to wear such a thing, but maybe at least feeders can meet feeders and socialize with them.
Maybe something innocent like a yellow band on the wrist saying "I insist on good food!" or "gourmet". 
Then, a person can also initiate contact like that, mention it in a conversation without fearing to be shot in the head for it. It would be a starting point!

Markus (aka Rubens_feeder)


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## KHayes666 (Jul 13, 2010)

rubens_feeder said:


> Hi
> 
> How about the following idea, for all you feeders and feedees that will go to the Las Vegas BBW bash shortly:
> 
> ...



I don't need a mark, everyone knows I'm a feeder lol


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 13, 2010)

You are?

And this is the first we're hearing about it?

OMG you really do hate women and want them to all die of immobility.


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## KHayes666 (Jul 13, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> You are?
> 
> And this is the first we're hearing about it?
> 
> OMG you really do hate women and want them to all die of immobility.



Damn ya caught me.

I had my bucket o' butter and tube ready to go too!


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## rubens_feeder (Jul 13, 2010)

So, are you guys going to the Bash?

I would love to meet you there and at least exchange some opinions, talk and experiences ;-)

Markus (aka Rubens_Feeder)


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## Devil's Subjugate (Jul 13, 2010)

The last thing I want to do is chastize your preference on one of the only places where you can truly express yourself...BUT did you ever think about suppressing the urge? I mean yeah, I like fat girls, and feeding is sexy in fantasy format, but I don't think it's a further sub-segregation from being an FA. It's like gay guys wearing a pin that says they're the "bottom" or something. Chances are, if you meet a cute fattie, some sort of sensual foodplay will occur at some point of the relationship (if it gets to that point.) But if you think a female feedee who's not interested in you will see your pin and change her mind...well, that's just not the case. Making that fetish work in the real world requires a healthy relationship, give and take, health measures (like making sure they get exercise), otherwise you're just contributing towards someone's health problems or potential death. We've already lost two lovely women that I know of from feeding and the complications that arise from it. If we don't heed that warning, well, we're no better than the antagonist in that shitty "Feed" movie we all hate so much.


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 13, 2010)

Devil's Subjugate said:


> The last thing I want to do is chastize your preference on one of the only places where you can truly express yourself...BUT did you ever think about suppressing the urge? I mean yeah, I like fat girls, and feeding is sexy in fantasy format, but I don't think it's a further sub-segregation from being an FA. It's like gay guys wearing a pin that says they're the "bottom" or something. Chances are, if you meet a cute fattie, some sort of sensual foodplay will occur at some point of the relationship (if it gets to that point.) But if you think a female feedee who's not interested in you will see your pin and change her mind...well, that's just not the case. Making that fetish work in the real world requires a healthy relationship, give and take, health measures (like making sure they get exercise), otherwise you're just contributing towards someone's health problems or potential death. We've already lost two lovely women that I know of from feeding and the complications that arise from it. If we don't heed that warning, well, we're no better than the antagonist in that shitty "Feed" movie we all hate so much.




Are you fucking serious? Humans are pretty unsuccessful at supressing sexuality. People can and do change behaviour, but urges? No. Doesn't work.

I also don't know which two women you're talking about, but unless you know for certain that somebody died from feeding you really should not say that.


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## rubens_feeder (Jul 14, 2010)

Ok, here we go again more. Feeding supression.
I know this is not your fetish, but did you have to make it so blatantly clear and marginalize us like this?
Feeding today is very much like homosexuality in the 50ies: you better hide, because if you show it, they will punch you in the face, discriminate the heck out of you and more.

It is totally impossible and even dangerous to show that you are a feeder to the normal population. I have done it sometimes and that ended with friendships ending (from their side) and I just hate fucking intollerant people that seem to know so fucking much about feeding (i.e. that is is all wrong), but actually know nothing at all.

But even in FA BBW circles it is very hard to out yourself and THIS WAY it is almost impossible to find somebody with this sexual orientation. Yes, I mean sexual orientation: because a feeder or feedee is born and always longs for the growing fat, it is not something you chose. It is some thing that fascinates you deeply and sexually arouses you (the one and only clear indicator if you a feeder/feedee or not)
Imagine you had a like or passion that you would like to share with people, maybe just talk about it. But that you could not even mention because most people (even FA BBWs) are so hostile and intolerant towards that you could not even mention it (or test if that person feels like you) without bombing and destroying the relationship/frienship right away.

That is why I came up with this idea. But lets forget it, it is obviously dumb and I must be the only feeder that is anywhere ready and open enough to show this to others in person. Feeding is, as I said, in its earliest phase and everybody is hiding in closets.
Without the internet, we would not even know that it exists.

Sorry for flying off the handle so much, but I get really intolerant and violent against INTOLERANCE!

Markus


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## SoVerySoft (Jul 14, 2010)

Devil's Subjugate said:


> ...It's like gay guys wearing a pin that says they're the "bottom" or something...



Actually, no, they don't wear a pin. I think it has to do with the color of a handkerchief and the back pocket they wear it in. It's called the hanky code. For real.

Back to the topic at hand - I think rubens_feeder's idea is a legitimate one, and I'm sorry he's getting so much flack. Hopefully if there are interested people, they'll send him a private message.


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## KHayes666 (Jul 16, 2010)

Devil's Subjugate said:


> The last thing I want to do is chastize your preference on one of the only places where you can truly express yourself...BUT did you ever think about suppressing the urge? I mean yeah, I like fat girls, and feeding is sexy in fantasy format, but I don't think it's a further sub-segregation from being an FA. It's like gay guys wearing a pin that says they're the "bottom" or something. Chances are, if you meet a cute fattie, some sort of sensual foodplay will occur at some point of the relationship (if it gets to that point.) But if you think a female feedee who's not interested in you will see your pin and change her mind...well, that's just not the case. Making that fetish work in the real world requires a healthy relationship, give and take, health measures (like making sure they get exercise), otherwise you're just contributing towards someone's health problems or potential death. We've already lost two lovely women that I know of from feeding and the complications that arise from it. If we don't heed that warning, well, we're no better than the antagonist in that shitty "Feed" movie we all hate so much.



Both women you're referring to died of complications stemming from something other than their weight. Get your facts straight before making false assumptions to prove a point.

You make it sound like feedees are taken against their will. News flash, most people who do it WANT to. There are a lot of men and women that love that sort of thing and are well aware of the risks.

You should try it sometimes, find a nice fat girl and put a few pounds on her. Then you'll love the new jiggle in her step and come back on your knees apologizing to the rest of us.



LoveBHMS said:


> Are you fucking serious? Humans are pretty unsuccessful at supressing sexuality. People can and do change behaviour, but urges? No. Doesn't work.
> 
> I also don't know which two women you're talking about, but unless you know for certain that somebody died from feeding you really should not say that.



I'm going to have to disagree in a slight sense.

While we can't help what we're attracted to. There's a difference between dancing around a room bellowing "I'M A FEEDER, I'M A FEEDER" and sitting at a bar admitting it to someone casually asking you. 

What we say on here is one thing, I'll be the first admit I'm a feeder on the internet. In real life I only approach the subject if someone approaches me first about it. 

In a sense, you CAN keep it on the down low but you're right when you say it'll always be apart of you.

I knew those 2 women personally, neither one died because of feeding.


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 16, 2010)

He suggested surpressing the _urge_, not the behaviour. Of course behaviour and actions can be controlled, but "urges" can not.


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## KHayes666 (Jul 16, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> He suggested surpressing the _urge_, not the behaviour. Of course behaviour and actions can be controlled, but "urges" can not.



No they can't be controlled.

In the pool a few hours ago a woman next to me was talking about how much weight she put on since she got married. I nodded along and smiled but inside I felt the familiar rush of adrenaline.

I can't help what I find attractive, same way if the anti-feeder over there was into necrophilia or something.


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## tonynyc (Jul 16, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> No they can't be controlled.
> 
> In the pool a few hours ago a woman next to me was talking about how much weight she put on since she got married. *I nodded along and smiled but inside I felt the familiar rush of adrenaline.*



Lucky for you that you didn't pass out - some lovely SSBBW Lifeguard would have to rescue you


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## Szombathy (Jul 17, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> No they can't be controlled.
> 
> In the pool a few hours ago a woman next to me was talking about how much weight she put on since she got married. I nodded along and smiled but inside I felt the familiar rush of adrenaline.
> 
> I can't help what I find attractive, same way if the anti-feeder over there was into necrophilia or something.



Hope you were successful in gracefully extricating yourself from the pool despite your adrenaline rush, and hope that you were not wearing a speedo.


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## Devil's Subjugate (Jul 17, 2010)

Okay. Maybe I should be more clear. I certainly did not mean to steer the conversation this way. First off, I share the sexual attraction towards larger women, gaining women, and feeding. So, my point was not to alienate anyone, because that would include myself. I just think that no further delineation needs to be drawn between FAs and feeder-FAs. But again, that's just ME. Secondly, gaining and feeding is fine. Just be aware to what size the person is getting to, and be mindful of health concerns. Don't put sexual urges before someone's life. We are in the business of shrugging off doctors around these parts, but I don't necessarily think that's a good idea. I forgot who posted this, but it was along the lines of "the two women you referred to died from complications other than feeding, get your facts straight." Well, I think we all know that whatever "complications" they were, it came from being 500 or 600 pounds (the case in both accounts.) Things tend to get "complicated" at that size. Just because they didn't die in the act of feeding doesn't mean that their consumption wasn't their coffin nail. Also, I take issue with the statement that if the woman is consenting, then it's okay. Sometimes, even if someone is giving us the golden key to our erotic paradise, it's more important to think about them before what gets you off. To each their own, I just feel that the extreme feeding to immobility (or near it) is what weakens our arguments when we justify our movement to society at large. Pardon the pun.


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 17, 2010)

The people most eager to draw a distinction between feeder FA and non feeder FA tend to be the non-feeders. Peruse these boards for more than a couple of seconds and you'll see the non-feeders yammering about how they're "not feeders" and "not fetishists" and "annoyed that they can't buy a girl a hamburger without being accused of being feeders."

Additionally, the fat people who are not into feederism and don't want to gain weight want the distinction drawn. Feederism is a very specific fetish. It can be annoying and stressful for a fat woman whose either happy with her current weight or who wants to lose weight to be told she should get bigger. Isn't it best for two parties to know *before* hooking up what the other is into? A feeder does not want a woman who is interested in losing and a woman interested in losing isn't going to want to be fed.

You are 100% right about the health issue. I never ever ever said that there were not health problems that could arise from being that size, simply that being 500 pounds did not necessarily result from being involved in feederism. If somebody dies from being fat, it does not mean they were 'fed' to that size and that feederism is the culprit. 

I do think everyone should be mindful of health concerns and there are ways to incorporate that into feederism. that can even mean focusing only on feeding and making sure the person does not gain weight, maybe by only having infrequent sessions. Partners can indulge in fantasy or role play--fat talk, online interactions, pretending a partner has gained when s/he has not really, a woman eating and saying she's gaining or pretending she wants to, etc.

One last thing to keep in mind, lots of feedee/gainers are very much into this. Many, or maybe even most of them would gain weight even without the presence of a feeder. You can read many posts on this board from women who call themselves single feedees who are gaining without partners, or whose partners are not feeders.


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## KHayes666 (Jul 17, 2010)

Devil's Subjugate said:


> Okay. Maybe I should be more clear. I certainly did not mean to steer the conversation this way. First off, I share the sexual attraction towards larger women, gaining women, and feeding. So, my point was not to alienate anyone, because that would include myself. I just think that no further delineation needs to be drawn between FAs and feeder-FAs. But again, that's just ME. Secondly, gaining and feeding is fine. Just be aware to what size the person is getting to, and be mindful of health concerns. Don't put sexual urges before someone's life. We are in the business of shrugging off doctors around these parts, but I don't necessarily think that's a good idea. I forgot who posted this, but it was along the lines of "the two women you referred to died from complications other than feeding, get your facts straight." Well, I think we all know that whatever "complications" they were, it came from being 500 or 600 pounds (the case in both accounts.) Things tend to get "complicated" at that size. Just because they didn't die in the act of feeding doesn't mean that their consumption wasn't their coffin nail. Also, I take issue with the statement that if the woman is consenting, then it's okay. Sometimes, even if someone is giving us the golden key to our erotic paradise, it's more important to think about them before what gets you off. To each their own, I just feel that the extreme feeding to immobility (or near it) is what weakens our arguments when we justify our movement to society at large. Pardon the pun.



You also forgot feeding doesn't always coincide with gaining. I know a girl who had lap band surgery that enjoys being fed but obviously not into gaining.

Earlier tonight I shared a cinnamon roll with a lady and I wasn't trying anything funny, just simple fun. She's not into gaining and I wasn't encouraging her to do so. Being a feeder or a feedee doesn't always mean gainer. Many go that route but not everyone does.

Which leads us to why Feed sucked big floppy donkey dick because it was a miserable perception of feeders. None of us are associated with that kind of mindset.


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 18, 2010)

This is totally conjecture based on having read these, and other boards. There are probably a good number of closet feeders and feedees who do not self ascribe as such for any number of reasons. Maybe it's fear of being viewed negatively in the BBW world or because feeders have a bad rep, or because girls might be embarassed to admit they genuinely love being fat and/or gaining.

I've had several people tell me that somebody confided in them they were interested in feederism despite their having denied it. It is unfortunate there is such shame associated with something that is really nothing but a sexual fetish.


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## Devil's Subjugate (Jul 19, 2010)

You raise a lot of valid points. Consider me suitably scolded. Or enlightened. Depending on your outlook.


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## Angel (Jul 19, 2010)

I'm not sure if I want to wade into this or not simply because the end result of threads of this subject matter _always_ end up being the same.



LoveBHMS said:


> This is totally conjecture based on having read these, and other boards. There are probably a good number of closet feeders and feedees who do not self ascribe as such for any number of reasons. Maybe it's fear of being viewed negatively in the BBW world or because feeders have a bad rep, or because girls might be embarassed to admit they genuinely love being fat and/or gaining.
> 
> I've had several people tell me that somebody confided in them they were interested in feederism despite their having denied it. It is unfortunate there is such shame associated with something that is really nothing but a sexual fetish.



What I would like to address here is the opinion or view that you have expressed of feederism being "really nothing but a sexual fetish". 

Not everyone who is into feederism, or who self identifies as a feeder or feedee, or even those NOT into it view it as a sexual fetish. A sexual fetish is something (be it an object, situation, or behavior) that is needed or fantasised about in order for someone to become sexually stimulated or aroused / for the arousal to be maintained / and in order to sexually climax. For you and others into feederism it may only be a sexual fetish; but that is not so for everyone who is into feederism. 

I want to make this distinction because there are a couple people here who seem to continually _insist_ that it is a sexual fetish and that anyone involved, or who identifies, or who has tendencies therefore also _*has*_ "a sexual fetish". Human sexuality is far more complex than with only that of the end result of sexual behavior or activity. It's simply not only about what gets you going or what gets you off. 

A single individual or two individuals who self identify as a feeder or as a feedee can be involved in a emotionally healthy and loving relationship, a relationship that is also sexual in nature, and their sexual expressions not be centered on feederism. Feederism may be part of the relationship, but it doesn't have to be the central focus of the relationship or of their sexual relationship. Feeders and feedees are humans first and foremost. It is possible for them to derive pleasure, physical and sexual pleasure, simply because they are attracted to each other without regard to what their inclinations may be. Sexual arousal and orgasm is possible without any aspect of feederism ever crossing their minds. In other words feeders and feedees are capable of having vanilla sex, hot steamy passionate sex, or even kinky sex, without their feederistic thoughts coming into play. 

Everyone can't be painted into the same box because everyone is NOT in the same box. If you want to identify as having a sexual fetish, and you are fine with doing so, fine. Don't assume that all feeders or all feedees or everyone who is involved with or who is into feederism has a sexual fetish. _That_ is just not true. Stating that feederism is "really nothing but a sexual fetish", and continually asserting that feederism is a fetish does disservise to the feederism community and only gives those who hate and dispise even more reason to do so. If you want others to be more understanding, more accepting, and more tolerant the whole community needs to be presented in a positive light. If you want someone to appreciate a community, or at least be accepting of its inhabitants, you show them the the whole town, the nice neighborhoods, those not so unlike their own. You don't just show them the seedy side of town and paint or promote _that_ as a valid representation of the entire community.


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 19, 2010)

I don't see the idea of having a sexual fetish to be anything negative, so i'm not sure i understand the idea of needing to look at a positve side of something.

While it seems as though a lot of this relates to the semantics and interpretation of the word fetish, i meant it just to say it's something that causes sexual arousal or gratification. What percentage of any individual's sexuality is feederism related, I can't say. I can say (again, just conjecture from reading these boards and knowing and talking to people in real life) that for many of us, feederism becomes necessary for an orgasm or it is required a large percentage of the time. It may be just fantasizing during vanilla sex or masturbation, but it's necessary for many people. I believe others may be able to get off without it, but are most satisfied with it.

The presence or absence of feederism doesn't have anything to do with a relationship. There may be a personal relationship outside the feeding, or not. It's the same as two people may engage in any other sexual activities either in the absence or presence of anything else of an emotional or romantic nature. I have communicated with any number of people who are into this who have tried to make a personal relationship work simply because the partner was in sync with the feederism and thus the person's sexuality. I've personally been approched by men on this board who are too young for me and/or geographically undesirable who are interested in communicating with me simply because i clearly 'get this'.

For some people, if this is the only way they get off, and they wish to engage in a personal relationship they have a difficult choice. Try to find somebody on Dims or Fantasy Feeder who is also personally compatible, find somebody who is personally compatible and try to introduce them to feederism, or find somebody who is personally compatible and leave feederism just as fantasy or masturbation fodder.



> In other words feeders and feedees are capable of having vanilla sex, hot steamy passionate sex, or even kinky sex, without their feederistic thoughts coming into play.



While this may be true, i don't think it's mostly true. Can they engage in vanilla sex? Sure. But many many many feeders and feedees on this board have said it's the primary component of their sexuality and what they use or need the majority of the time for sexual gratification. My experience with it has been that it is a very strong drive and that it's not _generally_ something that somebody can take or leave.


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## Webmaster (Jul 19, 2010)

Your endless insistence that your preference is just a sexual fetish is indeed peculiar.


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 19, 2010)

Webmaster said:


> Your endless insistence that your preference is just a sexual fetish is indeed peculiar.



It's not really a "preference" if somebody requires it for sexual gratification most or all of the time. For many of us it's not really negotiable. A preference you can take or leave but for many feeders/feedees it is an essential part of their sexuality or the majority of it.

One of the big divides here as far as SA/fat sexuality is just this. If i need feederism to get off, the truth is that won't really affect my daily life. If i can have a vanilla sexual encounter with somebody not into it but get off thinking about it, it has not even affected my sex life. I don't require any sort of understanding, tolerance, accomodation, or "rights" or "acceptance" to be into it.


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## Jes (Jul 19, 2010)

I recommend feeders wear lime green hankies in the right back pocket. It means they'll buy dinner. A feedee could wear the same in the left back pocket, meaning: I'll eat it if you buy it!


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## KHayes666 (Jul 20, 2010)

Jes said:


> I recommend feeders wear lime green hankies in the right back pocket. It means they'll buy dinner. A feedee could wear the same in the left back pocket, meaning: I'll eat it if you buy it!



We didn't need hankeys for that at the bash.

In fact, everyone had a great time at the bash. Certainly was the most pleasant, non-drama BBW event I have ever attended


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## CaitiDee (Jul 26, 2010)

Jes said:


> I recommend feeders wear lime green hankies in the right back pocket. It means they'll buy dinner. A feedee could wear the same in the left back pocket, meaning: I'll eat it if you buy it!



Damnit, I saw this thread too late. I could've used a meal or two on the house. 

No but really with the drinking and the hangovers and the heat and the lack of sleep, I wasn't even hungry the entire time. Which is a damn shame considering ALL THE BUFFETS.


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## Oirish (Jul 26, 2010)

There is a deal going on where you get a 24 hour window to go to any of the buffets at Planet Hollywood, Caesar's Palace, Rio, Paris, Imperial Palace, Harahs, and Ballys for $35!


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 26, 2010)

I'm late to this thread too. I would have worn some kind of display. Would have been fun!  The yellow band would have been a flop though, the Vegas Bash wrist bands were all like a glittery greenish yellow.


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 26, 2010)

Devil's Subjugate said:


> Okay. Maybe I should be more clear. I certainly did not mean to steer the conversation this way. First off, I share the sexual attraction towards larger women, gaining women, and feeding. So, my point was not to alienate anyone, because that would include myself. I just think that no further delineation needs to be drawn between FAs and feeder-FAs. But again, that's just ME. Secondly, gaining and feeding is fine. Just be aware to what size the person is getting to, and be mindful of health concerns. Don't put sexual urges before someone's life. We are in the business of shrugging off doctors around these parts, but I don't necessarily think that's a good idea. I forgot who posted this, but it was along the lines of "the two women you referred to died from complications other than feeding, get your facts straight." *Well, I think we all know that whatever "complications" they were, it came from being 500 or 600 pounds (the case in both accounts.) *Things tend to get "complicated" at that size. Just because they didn't die in the act of feeding doesn't mean that their consumption wasn't their coffin nail. Also, I take issue with the statement that if the woman is consenting, then it's okay. Sometimes, even if someone is giving us the golden key to our erotic paradise, it's more important to think about them before what gets you off. To each their own, I just feel that the extreme feeding to immobility (or near it) is what weakens our arguments when we justify our movement to society at large. Pardon the pun.



Well actually you don't know that. You don't know if they were murdered in a home invasion, mauled by wild dogs, contracted meningitis, OD'd on cocaine - these are all perfectly respectable deaths, right?  Really man, stop picking at their corpses. You don't know how they died and your assumptions are interesting but inaccurate.


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## KHayes666 (Jul 26, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> Well actually you don't know that. You don't know if they were murdered in a home invasion, mauled by wild dogs, contracted meningitis, OD'd on cocaine - these are all perfectly respectable deaths, right?  Really man, stop picking at their corpses. You don't know how they died and your assumptions are interesting but inaccurate.



Plugging a dead horse, he apologized a page ago.


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## HeatherBBW (Jul 26, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> We didn't need hankeys for that at the bash.
> 
> In fact, everyone had a great time at the bash. Certainly was the most pleasant, non-drama BBW event I have ever attended



I'm glad you had a good time and that there wasn't any drama - but I promise you that there is drama everywhere there are people - it's just part of the deal.

That being said, I hope when people read your post that they don't think that because you are local and attend HB events that you meant our events are dramatic, etc. Because I don't think that's what you meant, but how it could possibly be perceived. As you know, we express and enforce our lack of tolerance for drama at HB.

Hugs,
Heather


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## KHayes666 (Jul 27, 2010)

HeatherBBW said:


> I'm glad you had a good time and that there wasn't any drama - but I promise you that there is drama everywhere there are people - it's just part of the deal.
> 
> That being said, I hope when people read your post that they don't think that because you are local and attend HB events that you meant our events are dramatic, etc. Because I don't think that's what you meant, but how it could possibly be perceived. As you know, we express and enforce our lack of tolerance for drama at HB.
> 
> ...



That's the thing, there were a bit of drama when I first started going to your events but your zero tollerance policy has eliminated most of the riff raff so to speak in the last few years. Renee and I had a great time at the Memorial Day event.

I have no problems at your bashes at all, I was just pointing out this was the first time where I've seen ZERO instances of drama, fighting, etc. There's always a ruckus or two at every bash as you pointed out, but this was one rarity where I saw none. Maybe there was something going down but I can say I didn't see anything with my own two eyes.

No disrespect to you Heather, just calling it like I saw it.

HB events are mostly drama-free,


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## CaitiDee (Jul 27, 2010)

Oh there was definitely drama. Some lady I've never met in my life walked up to me yelling and threatening me over some gossip she heard that couldn't possibly be true. I was coming out of the cafe by the casino and was totally blind-sided, all exhausted and drunk at 5 am. Then her little posse spent the entire weekend giving me dirty looks and talking shit. 

Ugh. I don't even know how I got involved in that.


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## JMCGB (Jul 28, 2010)

CaitiDee said:


> Damnit, I saw this thread too late. I could've used a meal or two on the house.
> 
> No but really with the drinking and the hangovers and the heat and the lack of sleep, I wasn't even hungry the entire time. Which is a damn shame considering ALL THE BUFFETS.





CaitiDee said:


> Oh there was definitely drama. Some lady I've never met in my life walked up to me yelling and threatening me over some gossip she heard that couldn't possibly be true. I was coming out of the cafe by the casino and was totally blind-sided, all exhausted and drunk at 5 am. Then her little posse spent the entire weekend giving me dirty looks and talking shit.
> 
> Ugh. I don't even know how I got involved in that.



Now I see why you said Vegas had it's good and bad moments. I think it's blasphemy that you didn't get to at least one buffet, lol.


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 28, 2010)

CaitiDee said:


> Oh there was definitely drama. Some lady I've never met in my life walked up to me yelling and threatening me over some gossip she heard that couldn't possibly be true. I was coming out of the cafe by the casino and was totally blind-sided, all exhausted and drunk at 5 am. Then her little posse spent the entire weekend giving me dirty looks and talking shit.
> 
> Ugh. I don't even know how I got involved in that.



That is so crazy! I'm sorry you had that happen Caiti.


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## fatgirlflyin (Jul 28, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> That's the thing, there were a bit of drama when I first started going to your events but your zero tollerance policy has eliminated most of the riff raff so to speak in the last few years. Renee and I had a great time at the Memorial Day event.
> 
> I have no problems at your bashes at all, I was just pointing out this was the first time where I've seen ZERO instances of drama, fighting, etc. There's always a ruckus or two at every bash as you pointed out, but this was one rarity where I saw none. Maybe there was something going down but I can say I didn't see anything with my own two eyes.
> 
> ...



Was this your first time at the Vegas bash? I didn't go this year but have for many years and every year there was drama, so I find it incredibly difficult to beleive there wasn't any this year. 

Most local bashes have from 100-300 people depending on the event and location, Vegas bash boasts what? 1000 attendees? Add to that the fact that a local hotel is much smaller in size than a vegas hotel and that right there is most likely the reason you didn't notice any drama. Not that there wasn't any. 

Glad you had a good time, just know that the Vegas bash is no different than any other event out there. Its just bigger and has more people.


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## CaitiDee (Jul 28, 2010)

I know Jake! It's a damn shame! Next year for sure. 

Thanks Lilly. <3 I hate when you don't even get a chance to defend yourself because someone is so hell bent on making you feel awful. Just goes to show you can't believe eveything you hear though!


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## rubens_feeder (Jul 28, 2010)

Well, I love the bash, I have to say that! No contact with any potention or otherwise feeder or feedee, the topic did never come up and neither did I feel suicidal enough to mention it ( ;-), but the bash was wonderful, so many beautiful people, I felt like I was in the playboy mansion. I am truly blessed with my preference for big girls! And I also got a lot of love from big girls, but it took me forever to realize that actually a lot were hitting on me, as I am not used to this where I am from (Switzerland) where people are very reserved.

About the drama: that is just normal, with such a large group of people, in any context or anywhere you will have drama to some degree, it is just in the nature of human relations, when a lot of different humans mix and some personalities clash.

So I would never hold the organisators responsible or anything: why are they responsible for a natural group dynamic? If you go to a casino, you would not think to blame the casino management when a patron is rude to you there, right?

I just love that these guys made this bash possible and put a lot of time organisating it. Thanks! 

quote:
---While we can't help what we're attracted to. There's a difference between dancing 
---around a room bellowing "I'M A FEEDER, I'M A FEEDER" and sitting at a bar admitting 
---it to someone casually asking you.

---What we say on here is one thing, I'll be the first admit I'm a feeder on 
---the internet. In real life I only approach the subject if someone approaches me first about it.

Well, when did you ever get casually asked it you were a feedee or feeder??? I never.
When do YOU causually ask if somebody is a feeder or feedee? I would guess that you would neither. Because chances are that you will receive a no in 99% of all times, feedees and feeders are very rare and it is like finding aliens from outer space by asking random people, or asking each piece of straw in a haystack to find the needle, pretty pointless. But in the case of feeder / feedee you can burn your reputation badly, because people will discriminate you big time, so each asking of people will cost you and tarnish your reputation a little bit. 

It is also that lets say I am looking for a feedee, the feedee herself (in my case a she) would not dare to utter her preference unless she knew that she would be talking to somebody that actually likes / accepts this too.
So you need to have a signal of permission for both, that they know that it is safe to discuss the subject.

And Feedee /Feeder talks would probably be very private and shared with nobody, as maybe the talk about sex was some 80 years ago. Nowadays you can talk about sex with anybody, but you cannot do that about feederism, a very dangerous subject that is.

And my regret was just that I could not even have a chat with a fellow feeder or feedee. I talked with so many people and would have liked to do a little more than just small talk for a change.

There must have been some feederism tolerant or liking people at the bash I presume that I even talked with, but we both could not touch the subject.


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 28, 2010)

rubens_feeder said:


> Well, I love the bash, I have to say that! No contact with any potention or otherwise feeder or feedee, the topic did never come up and neither did I feel suicidal enough to mention it ( ;-), but the bash was wonderful, so many beautiful people, I felt like I was in the playboy mansion. I am truly blessed with my preference for big girls! And I also got a lot of love from big girls, but it took me forever to realize that actually a lot were hitting on me, as I am not used to this where I am from (Switzerland) where people are very reserved.
> 
> About the drama: that is just normal, with such a large group of people, in any context or anywhere you will have drama to some degree, it is just in the nature of human relations, when a lot of different humans mix and some personalities clash.
> 
> ...



That is one dynamic where men outnumber women. You're wise not to bring it up. I don't usually ask people if they're feeders, feedees ever. Even at the bash I would not bring it up if meeting someone there that I was interested in. My reasoning is, we're there for the weekend then we're going back to our lives. Even if we hooked up it would be something very simple where feederism would not be relevant. It would not even occur to me to bring it up. Now if we're thinking about something more permanent than just a fling and we're going to keep seeing each other, etc. I would bring it up. I would ask him flat out if he's a feeder. I admit when I've done this in the past I got that deer in the headlights look. lol It's usually a surprise. Regardless of their answer I tell them I'm into it. I try to be up front about it. 

As for meeting others just as a form of social networking I think that's a great idea. Unfortunately most bashes will refuse to set up subjects of that nature because they want to avoid getting the feederism label attached to their event. I see nothing wrong with a secret handshake or a ribbon or something to identify each other on our own. Next time! :kiss2:


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## rubens_feeder (Jul 28, 2010)

You know the problem is that I am one of the people that fights for feederism. Not in such that I defend it, but to explore it and find out what it is and to bring all this out into the light. My part in this is that I will be one of the people (if I will succeed) that will be remembered later on for having brought this out of the closet, that you than (in the future) might discuss this with anybody and it would be like today causualy discussing sex. Not sex with that person, but in general. There is nothing to it, right? Well, feederism should be there too. And it will, if I can do anything about it. So I have this drive to "legalize" it, to bring it out in the open and make people untense and unstiff about it, to be able to "just talk about it".
Right now, we are very far away from it. 

I just see that what I want does not seem to be on many people's minds and I guess I am there to push this forward just because I do care. I don't talk about hookup when I tell somebody that I am a feeder, that I have come out like 10 years ago and that I have fattened, I mean, really fattened women and watched them grow and found it to be something so beautiful. And that I am just wired like that, that it is a passion that I will always have. So I am not unsure about this at all. I have explored so many subjects, written TONS of stories, the most extreme that you might find on the net (people seem to refer to me as having written the bible on force feeding with a tube, just because... I am the only one that has written ANYTHING on the net about it) My website usually will cause 3 reactions:
1. outright shock and disbelieve of what is written there, so honestly and direct, about massively feeding. The reader falls of their chairs and closes the browser in utter shock.
2. Neutral interest, how interesting is the world, you never know what you will find in the internet. The reader might like it and read some articles and warm up to the subject or stay cold alltogether.
3. Total fascination, that I write EXACTLY what was going through the readers mind. The reaction I get from some feedees: "how do you know what is going on in the deepest recesses of my mind? I have told nobody.... how do you know all this about me?"

Now, most are probably nr. 1 and due to the shocking direct way I write, I don't get hate mails at all, because they either are to shocked to write to a person as disgusting as me or they figure it would not do any good anyway, because I am so convinced (and they might pick up on the note, that I know aboutg 1588% more about the subject than they do).
Nr. 2 is kind of rare or maybe I never hear about it. I have some people write me sometimes that seem to find feederism and my site to be a curiousity.

Nr. 3 is rare, of course, because you need to have a perfect match between what I am writing, the extreme feeding and the likes of the reader. I find it interesting, that some people contact me at some point, telling me that they followed my articles and stories and that they have discovered that they are feeders /feedees actually through my provocative writing (and that is EXACTLY why I write like this) and that it was striking a chord deep inside them even before they knew.

Anyway, as you can tell I am a activist. I really care about this and I am far to experiences to look for a simple hookup in these social meetings to find a feedee that I can fatten up. 
No, all I want is being able to talk to somebody face to face about it, and maybe later, even in a small group of people that know that they know.
And so far I only get that from people that contact me via my website, which is kind of getting a little old. 
Just having a conversation, no intention to feed or be fed involved seems to be a very hard thing. And that is what I want to change. 
Feederism needs a lot of work still, getting out in the open and not either being hornily desired or outright hated or feared. 

And I am ready to do this work. If I would follow frustration, I would have given up 5 years ago.

Sorry for going off topic here. 

Markus


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## rubens_feeder (Jul 28, 2010)

Going on topic through:

Does anybody remember me on the bash? I have a hard time remembering all the people I talked to and I know that there were also many people I did not get a chance to talk to at all.

I was the tall, bald dude, (6 foot 4), hazel eyes, with a stupid grin (my first bash, couldn't stop smiling at all the beauty), saying that I was from Switzerland, now living in the bay area, usually wearing jeans and a Dr Pepper shirt and at the pool wearing bright orange (inmate color) swimming trunks ;-) I was there from Wednesday evening on till the next Wednesday, staying 3 days longer.

So I just wonder if I had a conversation with any of you.

Markus


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## KHayes666 (Jul 29, 2010)

rubens_feeder said:


> Well, I love the bash, I have to say that! No contact with any potention or otherwise feeder or feedee, the topic did never come up and neither did I feel suicidal enough to mention it ( ;-), but the bash was wonderful, so many beautiful people, I felt like I was in the playboy mansion. I am truly blessed with my preference for big girls! And I also got a lot of love from big girls, but it took me forever to realize that actually a lot were hitting on me, as I am not used to this where I am from (Switzerland) where people are very reserved.
> 
> About the drama: that is just normal, with such a large group of people, in any context or anywhere you will have drama to some degree, it is just in the nature of human relations, when a lot of different humans mix and some personalities clash.
> 
> ...



The 2 most well-known feeders (me and someone else we all know) were at the bash and had a great time. Anyone who asked us if we were feeders would have gotten a yes answer and if they discriminated, neither of us would have cared really.

The ones who discriminate aren't the type to be your friends anyway, so no sense hiding from them what you are and what you like.


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 29, 2010)

rubens_feeder said:


> You know the problem is that I am one of the people that fights for feederism. Not in such that I defend it, but to explore it and find out what it is and to bring all this out into the light. My part in this is that I will be one of the people (if I will succeed) that will be remembered later on for having brought this out of the closet, that you than (in the future) might discuss this with anybody and it would be like today causualy discussing sex. Not sex with that person, but in general. There is nothing to it, right? Well, feederism should be there too. And it will, if I can do anything about it. So I have this drive to "legalize" it, to bring it out in the open and make people untense and unstiff about it, to be able to "just talk about it".
> Right now, we are very far away from it.
> 
> I just see that what I want does not seem to be on many people's minds and I guess I am there to push this forward just because I do care. I don't talk about hookup when I tell somebody that I am a feeder, that I have come out like 10 years ago and that I have fattened, I mean, really fattened women and watched them grow and found it to be something so beautiful. And that I am just wired like that, that it is a passion that I will always have. So I am not unsure about this at all. I have explored so many subjects, written TONS of stories, the most extreme that you might find on the net (people seem to refer to me as having written the bible on force feeding with a tube, just because... I am the only one that has written ANYTHING on the net about it) My website usually will cause 3 reactions:
> ...





rubens_feeder said:


> Going on topic through:
> 
> Does anybody remember me on the bash? I have a hard time remembering all the people I talked to and I know that there were also many people I did not get a chance to talk to at all.
> 
> ...



I remember you from the Bash Markus. We met for 3 minutes at the Meet & Greet on Friday. I was the mild mannered switchboard operator from Boston who moonlights as a classical vocalist. 

As for the other stuff, I didn't know you wrote stories. Cool! Wish you said you were a writer at the M&G. That would have been an interesting segway because I would have asked you what kind of stuff you write. Just an idea for the future. As for being out about Feeding, I consider myself to be about as out about it as I would be about any other aspect of my sexuality - meaning I'm not particularly out about it at all. lol I'm not the type to walk around with my bloomers on the outside of my clothes so for me it feels awkward to be out to the point of activism. I'm not afraid or anything. I don't mind meeting other like minded people, reaching out, talking about stuff, etc. That's how I met some of the feeders on this board, but as far as activism goes it's a little difficult for me. I'm not used to allowing people in to have a close look at my sexuality unless they are going to be directly involved in some way. I've done it simply as a show of numbers, to compare notes and let others know they're not alone but I prefer to be reserved about my sexuality. It's a personal comfort zone I guess.


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## Jes (Jul 29, 2010)

CaitiDee said:


> Oh there was definitely drama. Some lady I've never met in my life walked up to me yelling and threatening me over some gossip she heard that couldn't possibly be true. I was coming out of the cafe by the casino and was totally blind-sided, all exhausted and drunk at 5 am. Then her little posse spent the entire weekend giving me dirty looks and talking shit.
> 
> Ugh. I don't even know how I got involved in that.



Good lord. Events like that sound like high school with ashtrays.


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## rubens_feeder (Aug 16, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> I remember you from the Bash Markus. We met for 3 minutes at the Meet & Greet on Friday. I was the mild mannered switchboard operator from Boston who moonlights as a classical vocalist.
> 
> As for the other stuff, I didn't know you wrote stories. Cool! Wish you said you were a writer at the M&G. That would have been an interesting segway because I would have asked you what kind of stuff you write. Just an idea for the future. As for being out about Feeding, I consider myself to be about as out about it as I would be about any other aspect of my sexuality - meaning I'm not particularly out about it at all. lol I'm not the type to walk around with my bloomers on the outside of my clothes so for me it feels awkward to be out to the point of activism. I'm not afraid or anything. I don't mind meeting other like minded people, reaching out, talking about stuff, etc. That's how I met some of the feeders on this board, but as far as activism goes it's a little difficult for me. I'm not used to allowing people in to have a close look at my sexuality unless they are going to be directly involved in some way. I've done it simply as a show of numbers, to compare notes and let others know they're not alone but I prefer to be reserved about my sexuality. It's a personal comfort zone I guess.



Hi

yes, I do remember you. I remember your voice and thought that you had a very wonderful one. I am learning to play the piano (intermediate) and want to compose at some point and everytime I hear a powerful voice, it inspires me to think what you could compose for it to sing. 

And remember, they had this "do you have a secret identity" on the card for dicussion topics. hihihih, well, if they knew. If you look for certain topics, my website shows up first in the search in google. (I am specialized on the extrem topics of feeding) I would not have mentioned it at all, which kind of stories I write, since it would have been too far out to assume you would understand and since this was my first bash, I did not want to take a risk of having people talk and then single me out as a person to avoid (I know that there can be quite some violent sentiment against feeders). I will maybe mention it more direct in further bashes, who knows. 

About not parading your sexuality around, I totally understand that. But as I said, for me just talking about it with somebody, exchanging views and such is not deeply sexual, at least not where I come from. (I'm no teenager anymore ;-)

I was just wondering: have you ever at the bash talked with a feeder about feeding and such? In a social context? (not being hooked up with him I mean), just chatting is what I am talking about, at the pool or anywhere, WITHOUT having met him beforehand here on the board and knowing because of this that he is a feeder?

I just think it would be kind of hard to breech this topic in a normal social context, taking the risk. And that is what this thread was all about: first getting consent before touching the subject. The mark was all about showing: Yes, it is ok to talk to me about feeding, I am tollerant towards it or open to learn more or into it, whatever. Nothing more. 

I will work on it, it seems to still be far out as current, any coming out of the closet I mean for most feeder and feedees. I am one that is just tired at this point of playing this silly closet games here on a variety of boards, but seeing everybody hide when a real actual real life meeting is proposed, where (and therein lies probably the problem) a person has to out themselfes in form of talking face to face with another human being about it (be it female or male).

And sooner or later I will surely find people that are ready to take this step and not be afraid anymore. There is strength in numbers.

Markus


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## LillyBBBW (Aug 16, 2010)

rubens_feeder said:


> Hi
> 
> yes, I do remember you. I remember your voice and thought that you had a very wonderful one. I am learning to play the piano (intermediate) and want to compose at some point and everytime I hear a powerful voice, it inspires me to think what you could compose for it to sing.
> 
> ...



Yes, I have actually. A few times in fact though never at the Vegas bash. I've been very vocal about my views and somewhat open about my preferences here on Dimensions. My pictures are everywhere on this board and I go to a lot of bashes. Because of this, a few times I've been approached by feeders I've never seen before on here who don't post very often if at all. In person the conversation starts pretty generally after an introduction and then he says meaningfully, "By the way, I really appreciated the things you said in that thread on Dimensions about feederism," or something like that. It has only happend three times and didn't make me feel awkward or uncomfortable at all. The guys who approached already knew my views on the subject in advance though and seeing me in person, felt compelled to say something. Speaking from my own perspective I'm not opposed to talking about it but I think you're right. Bringing it up with random strangers is probably not a great way to win friends and influence people generally.  I understood you to mean that you were looking to do something radical. I thought that saying you were a writer might make for an interesting yet gentle way to introduce the topic and leave it up to the other person to pursue it further or let it drop but your intelligence about such things seems better than mine. My filter at times tends to be more lax than what is considered average.


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## LoveBHMS (Aug 16, 2010)

I am not sure I see the value in being open about it. I mean I don't care around some people, and some people I know IRL are aware I'm into it. That having been said, like LillyBBBW, I think there is no real reason, or need, to be that open about sexuality. It's not a matter of being a prude or being ashamed, it's just not really that important to talk about. There really isnt' any reason somebody would need to know.


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