# what happened to all the naafa and bbw events?



## svenm2112 (Jun 15, 2018)

I was wondering wondering what happened to all the NAAFA events and the BBW events in New England and New York? I was trying to find a NAAFA or BBW event in the New England and New York. And they are all gone now. I was wondering what happen?


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## HereticFA (Jun 15, 2018)

svenm2112 said:


> I was wondering wondering what happened to all the NAAFA events and the BBW events in New England and New York? I was trying to find a NAAFA or BBW event in the New England and New York. And they are all gone now. I was wondering what happen?


NAAFA transitioned away from a support organization and into an organization that tried to be more political in nature that didn't have Conventions or Holiday Happenings as in the past. 

And the original hostesses of the non-NAAFA events got burned out and no newcomers came along to hold events. (Plus there's the WLS "solution" that so many pursued and have no interest in fat acceptance events now.) 

There are some fat sex related bashes in various areas of the US. You might check out Feabie or some of the other fat related online communities. Good luck with your quest.


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## Tracyarts (Jun 18, 2018)

In my area not many newer/younger people showed much of an interest in keeping bash events going after around 2005 or so. 

At least half of my SSBBW friends who I used to go to fat events with back in the 90s and early 00s died in their 40s to early 50s, the surviving ones either lost weight and moved on, or developed chronic health and mobility problems and are restricted by financial and physical limitations now. 

A few people have tried to organize fat community meetup events around town, but even that fizzled out after a few years.

I think the younger generation really isn't as much into organized group activities to be honest. It was mostly those of us who'd be in our 40s, 50s, and 60s now who fueled the bash/convention scene back in the day. And we ran our course one way or another.


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## Colonial Warrior (Jun 18, 2018)

The first time I heard of NAAFA was on the late 80s in an interview with the late SSBBW model Debra ''Teighlor'' Perkins. 

I am fat (now SSBHM) who likes fat ladies but I live in a place where the FA movement and the SSBBW culture are inexistent. 

In my early twenties, I would die for becoming a member of that organization, but today it's a different story. 

I used to be an activist by my own, but I left the movement because it forgot its grass. 

Here is a link that talks about one of its founders, Lew Louderback. I feel so much like he felt when he left the movement. Look at it in specific on the last paragraph. 

Someday, I will start a movement of my own!!! 

http://obesitytimebomb.blogspot.com/2009/08/this-100th-post-is-dedicated-to-lew.html?m=1


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## LifelongFA (Jun 18, 2018)

CW, sign me up for your movement! I was lucky to have been around to see the rise of the "scene" and clubs in the 90s, and the unfortunately, now the decline in recent years. Perhaps someday the pendulum will swing again and breathe new life into it all, but it seems like the golden era (bbw cruises, naafa national events, huge clubs, etc) is a thing of the past.


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## ScreamingChicken (Jun 19, 2018)

Fat acceptance has gotten so attached to third wave feminism and it's highly political nature that I don't see any chance of the their being another golden era. Fat acceptance became size acceptance and then morphed in to body positivity, thus, losing any real identity of its own. Throw in to the mix that the most outspoken voices in our community (not just Dims mind you) also incorporate other social justice aspects in to their fat activism, you end up with a pretty fair number of people who aren't willing to go swimming in those waters . They didn't sign up for that mission.

As others have pointed out, deaths, financial & physical limitations and the WLS option has diminished the ranks as well.


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## LifelongFA (Jun 19, 2018)

I do have to admit, I really hadn't thought much about the people lost over the past decades. I literally surrounded myself with large women who have died way too soon. As a small business owner I hired or did business with many of the people I met in the early years (my CPA, travel agent, web designer, insurance agent, interior decorator, etc.) and I was rarely disappointed in doing so. Unfortunately, I have been to far too many funerals for lovely people who passed in their 40s and 50s. I do think that as we get older, we have to look at the caution flags of immobility and diabetes as signs we need to take better care of ourselves. That doesn't mean WLS or extreme weight loss, but we can't stick our heads in the sand either. There are certain things in life you can do when you are young, that you may not be able to do forever.


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## DragonFly (Jun 19, 2018)

I agree with what everyone is saying, I also think the digital world killed the IRL expierence. “Video killed the Radio Star”. It is just evolution. Now people can game with others everywhere and anywhere. The world got smaller, and the special interest groups have gotten really really specific. While you can interact with someone accross the ocean, the super specific interests of people make the core groups small. 

As for the passing of too many of us at too young of an age I absolutely agree. I lost my BHM in 2016, I was supposed to go first. Not being morbid but that is just what made sense, as a SSBBW with some other issues (co-morbidity), I was supposed to be with him for the rest of my life. He death was very unexpected, and has left me confused and adrift. 

If I were to think I was ready to explore looking for a new partner.... lol the options are very limited.


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## ScreamingChicken (Jun 19, 2018)

The digital world has changed as well. Message boards are becoming , if not already obsolete. People migrated from places like Dimensions to Facebook and took their circle of friends from the community with them. There are a number of fat acceptance groups on Facebook. The one I started over three years ago is mostly ex Dimmers but it is pretty dead .

The fat acceptance has gotten very tribal to say the least.


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## LifelongFA (Jun 19, 2018)

On the other hand, we are fortunate to be living in the era we are in (all things considered). I can't remember any relationships I have had (save one) that were not through either the "scene" or online - since the early 90s. If we were born a generation or two earlier, the opportunities to meet large people and their admirers would have been extremely limited.


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## ScreamingChicken (Jun 19, 2018)

I was lucky (or unlucky depending on your POV  ) to have met my two ex wives and a number of ex girl friends from outside the scene or online. Another GF was through a dating site. My current GF and I met on Dims but we didn't become a couple until long after she stopped posting.


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## LifelongFA (Jun 19, 2018)

That's great SC! I just have never been fortunate enough to have that single SSBBW neighbor, bump into one at the grocery store, or co-worker, etc.


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## HereticFA (Jun 22, 2018)

Tracyarts said:


> I think the younger generation really isn't as much into organized group activities to be honest. It was mostly those of us who'd be in our 40s, 50s, and 60s now who fueled the bash/convention scene back in the day. And we ran our course one way or another.


Since "the personal is political", they lack the personal issues that drove so many of us to embrace a fat acceptance organization that arose out of the protests and the politics of the sixties.

Before then if you were a BMI of more than about 25 you had to find specialty shops or make your own clothes. And things got increasingly worse in public since it seemed most everyone was in the BMI range of 18 to 21. And for BMI's over 50 you were an absolute pariah.

I remember my mom having to buy jeans for me from the "husky" section to fit my 9 year old 36" waist. And even then she had to buy them to fit older and taller boys and the legs were 6" too long. Nowadays they'd be available off the shelf and fit properly. Without pressures like those for a fat person there's less reason to seek a fat accepting social group with which to commiserate and discuss shared experiences.


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## EtobicokeFA (Jun 23, 2018)

Yeah. I also noticed that after 2001 NAAFA hit some hard times. While BBW social events kept going, under independent organizers, one ran by NAAFA disappeared. The good news is that NAAFA has been able to rebuild a few chapters.


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## HereticFA (Jun 23, 2018)

EtobicokeFA said:


> Yeah. I also noticed that after 2001 NAAFA hit some hard times. While BBW social events kept going, under independent organizers, one ran by NAAFA disappeared. The good news is that NAAFA has been able to rebuild a few chapters.


It was 2000 to 2002 when WLS exploded in popularity and many NAAFA members chose that as the 'magic pill that over 80% of NAAFA members sought. Plus there was a political kerfuffle within NAAFA a couple of years before then that caused a noticeable loss of members.

I'm surprised there's any NAAFA chapters still around. NAAFA never had a strong relationship with their chapters. It was more of a relationship of tolerance rather than love. I always felt the chapters were an ignored and under leveraged resource.

Not surprisingly, when I just checked their website I saw no links talking about any of their chapters. I suspect little if anything has really changed in NAAFA for strengthening their future. So sad.

Judging from their statement that there are no NAAFA conferences or events planned for the future I'd say the hard core activists succeeded in achieving the pure activism oriented organization they wanted. I just wonder how they expect to exert any political influence in society after chasing away most people that aren't interested in such a strident group but would have been useful Ambassadors of Fat Acceptance. Unfortunately they've become a punchline.


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## JoeBananas (Jun 23, 2018)

Then there are some who have always found the gatherings to be loud and full of people who, aside from being supersized, aren't all that compelling or interesting, may Dog forgive me. So we just do our lives and speak out elsewhere against fat discrimination. We don't need to "belong" to a group.


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## DragonFly (Jun 23, 2018)

JoeBananas said:


> Then there are some who have always found the gatherings to be loud and full of people who, aside from being supersized, aren't all that compelling or interesting, may Dog forgive me. So we just do our lives and speak out elsewhere against fat discrimination. We don't need to "belong" to a group.


What you said.

But then there is that gap on how to meet people. I really think that was the biggest thought behind this thread. I for example would rather do just about anything than try something like Tinder or Bumble. So where do the FAs find the SsBbW of their dreams and where do the SSBBWs find their partners.


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## HereticFA (Jun 23, 2018)

JoeBananas said:


> Then there are some who have always found the gatherings to be loud and full of people who, aside from being supersized, aren't all that compelling or interesting, may Dog forgive me. So we just do our lives and speak out elsewhere against fat discrimination. We don't need to "belong" to a group.


Unfortunately both the FAs and the (SS)BBWs were guilty of that. There were the FAs lining the walls, drink in hand, trying to consume enough liquid courage to go talk to the woman closest to their physical fantasy. And then there were the BBWs and SSBBWs just sitting at the tables and staring around the room. I chalked it up to limited dating experiences and arrested development. You have to remember that over 40% of most of the folks at the NAAFA dances never went to their high school prom. That's what the dances were for so many people.

And unfortunately there were only a few that would be considered Renaissance type personalities. The middle of the bell curve was well represented. I found it interesting that it wasn't the largest women that were pursued by the FAs but the most gregarious and outgoing or those with most unique body styles.

As for needing to belong to a group, if you're only trying to defend your own space, there's no problem with being the lone wolf activist. But if you're trying to effect political change, that's really not effective at the governmental or societal level.


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## HereticFA (Jun 23, 2018)

DragonFly said:


> So where do the FAs find the SsBbW of their dreams and where do the SSBBWs find their partners.


Go to events with groups or recurring activities that interest you. If you're supersized (or looking for same), consider the events for more sedentary interests. Craft or hobbies that require a lot of sitting or food. That's probably a more compatible lifestyle for many of us.

I've always thought the FFAs would be smart to go to ham radio conventions or flea markets (known as a Radio Rally in the UK) in their area. (We hams are typically a sedentary lot.) A fair number of the hams tend to be midsized. And some are supersized and on scooters. And for what it's worth, they tend to be a little sharper than average. Unfortunately there aren't that many women with ham licenses so it's not as fruitful for the male FAs looking for someone.(Sorry but I'm using straight, CIS references here, but there are LGBTs in ham radio, but that's another discussion.) The few BBWs that are hams were usually brought in by their hubby, like my ex was.

You might also consider music festivals. I always go to our local Celtic music festival. Lots of BBWs, SSBBWs, BHMs and SSBHMs around. There's plenty of similar cultural heritage oriented events in most First World countries. But I suspect only the ones in the US are where fat folks are _well_ represented.


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## ScreamingChicken (Jun 23, 2018)

I have also noticed that places that have a significant population of fat people such as Texas and the South tend to have almost no events, whether for activism or for social reasons. I have always wondered if it is because those places tend to be very accepting of fat people or that activism is shied away from in those places. Perhaps both may be accurate.


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## HereticFA (Jun 23, 2018)

ScreamingChicken said:


> I have also noticed that places that have a significant population of fat people such as Texas and the South tend to have almost no events, whether for activism or for social reasons. I have always wondered if it is because those places tend to be very accepting of fat people or that activism is shied away from in those places. Perhaps both may be accurate.


When I ran the Dallas chapter I wondered the same thing. I finally realized that folks on the Dallas area just weren't buying the Fat Acceptance message and nothing was going to change their minds. The most we ever had at a chapter meeting was about 28 and half that or less for parties or dances. Not really surprising since NAAFA chapters were barred from allowing alcohol due to National's fear of getting sued due to a DUI accident.

After I closed the chapter, the few people that were still interested in Fat Acceptance events went to either the for-profit _People of Size Social Club_ (later renamed _Singles of Size_ after it was sold to a new owner and where I met my wife) or the _Big as Texas_ annual gatherings put on by a former member of the NAAFA Board of Directors.


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## Tracyarts (Jun 24, 2018)

ScreamingChicken said:


> I have also noticed that places that have a significant population of fat people such as Texas and the South tend to have almost no events, whether for activism or for social reasons. I have always wondered if it is because those places tend to be very accepting of fat people or that activism is shied away from in those places. Perhaps both may be accurate.



I was involved in the Houston NAAFA chapter from around 1990 to 2002. 

The group never really grew past 10-12 core participants. Which I found frustrating for the fourth largest city in the country, and an area with a significantly "fat demographic". 

I tried to convince chapter leaders to reach out more in the community to get more people involved, maybe network with other local organizations, get some media attention. But they weren't open to chapter growth and publicity. They preferred it to remain a very small, close-knit, low key group. 

We had a monthly chapter meeting and a monthly chapter social event, which was often just a small restaraunt meetup. I tried to organize a lot of diverse "out in public, participating in life" events but they never had many attendees, a half dozen usually. The same little circle who were up for socializing together without it being an official chapter event. 

The only events that ever drew more than a handful of people were private dances, motel lounge parties, and our yearly beach party. 

Activism was really not a thing. Maybe a few letters written and the occasional request for armless chairs in a public place. 

TBH, the chapter never really did more than serve as a small, private networking club for local people who were already part of the fat acceptance community. 

I don't know why. There were certainly opportunities and resources available to take it public and make it a thing. 

Most of my friends wondered why we even needed fat acceptance. It's Houston, every other person is overweight, and you see supersized people everywhere out getting on with their lives. Discrimination and bigotry aren't serious issues here. It happens, but it's not the norm.


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## EtobicokeFA (Jun 24, 2018)

HereticFA said:


> It was 2000 to 2002 when WLS exploded in popularity and many NAAFA members chose that as the 'magic pill that over 80% of NAAFA members sought. Plus there was a political kerfuffle within NAAFA a couple of years before then that caused a noticeable loss of members.
> 
> I'm surprised there's any NAAFA chapters still around. NAAFA never had a strong relationship with their chapters. It was more of a relationship of tolerance rather than love. I always felt the chapters were an ignored and under leveraged resource.
> 
> ...



Unfortunately I agree. It is too bad since they are the most well know fat advocacy groups.

By the way, you can find the chapters are only found in their newsletters.


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## da3ley (Jun 25, 2018)

I used to like going to our Naafa events here in Colorado. We used to go to the movies, swimming, potlucks at the club houses, holiday events, and now forget it, they have been gone now for years. I used to think pretty highly of NAAFA, but now that they have dwindled down, my opinion of them is not the greatest I guess.


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## LifelongFA (Jun 25, 2018)

Living in Chicago years ago, the events were a lot of fun and their was a sizeable (pun intended!) active group. Group has never been as active other places I have lived except for the national events which were big (of course, right) 20 years ago!


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## Colonial Warrior (Jun 29, 2018)

Cultural Marxism is killing our society and that also affected FA movement!!!

We are living in a more sour world than any other generation in decades so far. Millennials doesn't give me much hope!!! 

Perhaps the forty and fiftysomes will have to teach many values of socialization to our young ones!!! 

I have a mission to get back to the movement I left three years ago to make an educational blog and Facebook page about self esteem, love and empowering for fat people.!!!


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## Colonial Warrior (Jun 29, 2018)

I was so very glad to share with a lot of people who wants the FA movement back to its roots!!!


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## DragonFly (Jun 29, 2018)

Great clip! Thanks for posting


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## Colonial Warrior (Jun 29, 2018)

DragonFly said:


> Great clip! Thanks for posting


You are welcome, DragonFly!!!


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## DragonFly (Jul 1, 2018)

We’ve been lamenting the past, trying to figure out where we lost our mojo. So how do we get the Fat Acceptance Groove back?


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## Colonial Warrior (Jul 1, 2018)

DragonFly said:


> We’ve been lamenting the past, trying to figure out where we lost our mojo. So how do we get the Fat Acceptance Groove back?


You said the most wise and inspiring words on this thread. That's the reason I stay here at dm forums!!! 

Thank you, DragonFly!!!


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## DragonFly (Jul 1, 2018)

Colonial Warrior said:


> You said the most wise and inspiring words on this thread. That's the reason I stay here at dm forums!!!
> 
> Thank you, DragonFly!!!



Lol what a blast from the past! That show was Iconic. Thanks for the compliment.


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## Colonial Warrior (Jul 1, 2018)

DragonFly said:


> Lol what a blast from the past! That show was Iconic. Thanks for the compliment.


You are welcome, DragonFly!!! 
Let's spread happiness, everywhere!!!


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## RabbitScorpion (Jul 1, 2018)

Colonial Warrior said:


> I was so very glad to share with a lot of people who wants the FA movement back to its roots!!!




The young lady at 6:00 would have been dream fuel for me back in the day.


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## HereticFA (Jul 2, 2018)

Colonial Warrior said:


> I was so very glad to share with a lot of people who wants the FA movement back to its roots!!!



Thanks, it was great seeing Joyce Maloney [@0:45], Bunny Peckham [@ 1:05], and Peggy [@ 2:36] again. (And Russell Williams [@ 2:50], before he was so emotionally abusive to Peggy. It was good to see them together and obviously happy.) That was a great vignette from just before the halcyon days of NAAFA in the eighties and nineties. To be able to relive that era would be a blessing.


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## HereticFA (Jul 2, 2018)

DragonFly said:


> We’ve been lamenting the past, trying to figure out where we lost our mojo. So how do we get the Fat Acceptance Groove back?


Gather fat friends and admirers via social networking and start having dinners and meet-ups. See where it goes from there. Get back to face-to-face interactions and only use online interactions as a fill-in communications method. If you can't hug someone, you haven't really connected.


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## Colonial Warrior (Jul 2, 2018)

HereticFA said:


> Gather fat friends and admirers via social networking and start having dinners and meet-ups. See where it goes from there. Get back to face-to-face interactions and only use online interactions as a fill-in communications method. If you can't hug someone, you haven't really connected.


Great idea, HereticFA!!!


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## Yakatori (Jul 2, 2018)

Colonial Warrior said:


> _Cultural *Marxism* is killing our society and that also affected FA movement!!_



Wait, whut!?! How is Marxism-exactly to blame?


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## ScreamingChicken (Jul 2, 2018)

I have an idea of what Colonial Warrior is trying to say but I will let his respond first.


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## Cynthia (Jul 2, 2018)

It was easier for me to speak out when I was young and relatively healthy. But, for the past several years, my voice has become more muted with each new illness that I've acquired. 

I wonder if the change from "National Association to Aid Fat Americans" to "National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance" left the movement with an unachievable mandate. It's one thing to defend the rights and dignity of fat people. Arguments to defend fatness itself, on the other hand, are filled with landmines pertaining to the healthcare economy and chronic disease management. I long ago gave up on defending fatness. It's a tough, fruitless argument, and it saps all my energy just to read the vitriol posted about mid-size models such as Ashley Graham. (She must be emotionally exhausted from all the hatred.) How do we simply uphold civility, respect, and fat solidarity without taking on Mount Everest?


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## Colonial Warrior (Jul 2, 2018)

ScreamingChicken said:


> I have an idea of what Colonial Warrior is trying to say but I will let his respond first.


Thank you so much for your words of support, ScreamingChicken!!!


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## Colonial Warrior (Jul 2, 2018)

Yakatori said:


> Wait, whut!?! How is Marxism-exactly to blame?


First, I have to indicate that I have not a formal education in political science.

In my words, Cultural Marxism is a doctrine of false oppression made by people who are trying to change the values and worldview of our Western society.

I'm not a 100 percent conservative but I'm not interested in becoming a full liberal.

Sincerely, CM is a waste of time in the FA movement. I support women's rights and I also support fat people rights. I just know that there is a lot of discrimination. I am fat and I experienced it my whole life. But I didn't want to become myself in a politician.

Probably, if they know me well, most of the people of this forums will not vote for me but I didn't care.

My purpose here is to fight to get back to the roots of fat acceptance. Not to discuss political issues. I have so many political discussions in Puerto Rico. A place where FA movement is inexistent. I have tried by all means possible to tackle the subject in this island's media but it was and will be the forbidden subject.

For me, DM forums are a place to gather ideas and strength to carry on in my daily struggles and I thank so much it's presence in my life!!!


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## Recardo Admirer (Jul 2, 2018)

Given the fact that everyone has a cell phone and numerous means of communication via Facebook, etc. The only thing that could be lacking when it comes to connecting is the WILL. I think anyone willing to take the time to join in and comment on this thread should be willing to connect with other commenters and take some positive action. What say you all?


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## DragonFly (Jul 2, 2018)

Recardo Admirer said:


> Given the fact that everyone has a cell phone and numerous means of communication via Facebook, etc. The only thing that could be lacking when it comes to connecting is the WILL. I think anyone willing to take the time to join in and comment on this thread should be willing to connect with other commenters and take some positive action. What say you all?


As a moderator and a participant I can say that I feel that there is a couple more steps from this thread to a phone tree. There are always the obsticals of time, distance and comfort.


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## Colonial Warrior (Jul 3, 2018)

HereticFA said:


> Judging from their statement that there are no NAAFA conferences or events planned for the future I'd say the hard core activists succeeded in achieving the pure activism oriented organization they wanted. I just wonder how they expect to exert any political influence in society after chasing away most people that aren't interested in such a strident group but would have been useful Ambassadors of Fat Acceptance. Unfortunately they've become a punchline.


I just feel identified with your words, HereticFA!!!


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## DragonFly (Jul 3, 2018)

Colonial Warrior said:


> I just feel identified with your words, HereticFA!!!


I’m with you both on this one. My late partner was a big financial supporter of NAFFA.... by 2008 he was so disgusted with how they were eliminating the people part and just the board doing what they felt was needed, he refused to support them.


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## Colonial Warrior (Jul 3, 2018)

DragonFly said:


> I’m with you both on this one. My late partner was a big financial supporter of NAFFA.... by 2008 he was so disgusted with how they were eliminating the people part and just the board doing what they felt was needed, he refused to support them.


In order to grew up again, the FA movement should be more inclusive. So it's time to move out from the political arena and focus on helping fat people. 

By being more inclusive I mean a movement that gathers people from all tendencies : from conservatives to liberals. 

Ignorance kills more than fatness itself!!!


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## DragonFly (Jul 3, 2018)

Colonial Warrior said:


> In order to grew up again, the FA movement should be more inclusive. So it's time to move out from the political arena and focus on helping fat people.
> 
> By being more inclusive I mean a movement that gathers people from all tendencies : from conservatives to liberals.
> 
> Ignorance kills more than fatness itself!!!


I agree, the thing that Killed NAFFA is that they stopped the social aspect of their organization. 

When you say more inclusive, what exactly are you saying? Intersectionality?


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## Colonial Warrior (Jul 3, 2018)

DragonFly said:


> I agree, the thing that Killed NAFFA is that they stopped the social aspect of their organization.
> 
> When you say more inclusive, what exactly are you saying? Intersectionality?


By inclusivity I mean the people should respect each other opinions and views about issues of political matter. 

Three years ago, I used to be an FA activist. I runned a blog and Facebook page in Spanish for bringing the FA movement to Puerto Rico and the Caribbean. 

I have to left because I had I fight with another activist because I was a traditional family supporter. I was accused of homophobic by that person.


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## DragonFly (Jul 3, 2018)

Colonial Warrior said:


> By inclusivity I mean the people should respect each other opinions and views about issues of political matter.
> 
> Three years ago, I used to be an FA activist. I runned a blog and Facebook page in Spanish for bringing the FA movement to Puerto Rico and the Caribbean.
> 
> I have to left because I had I fight with another activist because I was a traditional family supporter. I was accused of homophobic by that person.


I understand that frustration. Things get so cloudy and bogged down when you try to address every issue in every issue.


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## Colonial Warrior (Jul 3, 2018)

DragonFly said:


> I understand that frustration. Things get so cloudy and bogged down when you try to address every issue in every issue.


And I thank you for understanding. I was really happy to be in this wonderful site were I found so much tolerance to my ideas!!!

''A society were men may not speak their minds cannot longer endure.''

Winston Churchill


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## ScreamingChicken (Jul 3, 2018)

I'll piggyback on what CW said...

I come here to talk about fat acceptance. I have no desire to incorporate a multitude of other political fights in to my acceptance of fat. I am not looking to tackle racism, sexism, homophobia, the patriarchy or any number of other evils that a vocal component of the community wish to fight. It's not a package deal for me. I am very mission specific for lack of a better description. I am interested fighting on one front and not spreading my limited energy on fighting everything simultaneously. 

Based on what I have seen by former Dimensions posters on Facebook, there are a number of people in the community who want to tackle everything at once. In their minds , everything intersects and you can't separate them from each other. I respectfully disagree.


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## BigElectricKat (Jul 3, 2018)

ScreamingChicken said:


> I was lucky (or unlucky depending on your POV  ) to have met my two ex wives and a number of ex girl friends from outside the scene or online. Another GF was through a dating site. My current GF and I met on Dims but we didn't become a couple until long after she stopped posting.


At least someone has found love. Congrats!


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## Colonial Warrior (Jul 3, 2018)

ScreamingChicken said:


> I'll piggyback on what CW said...
> 
> I come here to talk about fat acceptance. I have no desire to incorporate a multitude of other political fights in to my acceptance of fat. I am not looking to tackle racism, sexism, homophobia, the patriarchy or any number of other evils that a vocal component of the community wish to fight. It's not a package deal for me. I am very mission specific for lack of a better description. I am interested fighting on one front and not spreading my limited energy on fighting everything simultaneously.
> 
> Based on what I have seen by former Dimensions posters on Facebook, there are a number of people in the community who want to tackle everything at once. In their minds , everything intersects and you can't separate them from each other. I respectfully disagree.


I strongly agree with you!!!


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## Dr. Feelgood (Jul 3, 2018)

I agree with Screaming Chicken that you can spread yourself too thin: you have to pick your fights carefully. On the other hand, we are all fighting for the same basic thing -- civility -- so it's important that we keep in touch with what others are doing on other fronts. T here will be times when our interests coincide.


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## DragonFly (Jul 3, 2018)

I’ve been keeping up with thread and the same idea keeps coming to me. Is it really the politics of fat or is it the want to find that safe space to be fat. Brigadoon anyone?


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## Colonial Warrior (Jul 4, 2018)

DragonFly said:


> I’ve been keeping up with thread and the same idea keeps coming to me. Is it really the politics of fat or is it the want to find that safe space to be fat. Brigadoon anyone?


Since I was a teenager (in 1980) I was interested in politics. Even in Facebook I use to have political discussions but each and every day I was getting bored of it.

I didn't want to make myself a comfort zone. That's was not my interest.

My interest is only to be part of a movement that really cares about the quality of living of fat people. I feel most of it can be accomplished via socialization.

We live in world that told us that we need to lose weight if we want to have fruitful and enjoyable life. I can't tell you how many times and how many methods I tried to get thin to have things like a job or a partner.

All of that changed the day I get involved working with a friend and mentor who helped me to develop my skills at communicating on social networks. I developed more self confidence and my view of myself changed a whole lot since then.

Here are a few words from that wonderful being:

''You should work on improving your health, your attitude, and your outlook on life, regardless of your weight or size.'' Fatima Parker


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## ScreamingChicken (Jul 4, 2018)

For me , it's not so much a desire for a safe space to be fat. I prefer a place to discuss fat people issues with other fat folks and their admirers with a reasonable expectation of polite behavior. Like I stated up thread, I don't appreciate my thoughts on fat being dismissed because I am not 100% on board with the stances of other posters on other various topics. I am burnt out on the all or nothing approach. It explains why the some of the membership has bailed out or why some regions of the US with the fattest populations are so underrepresented here. Notice the lack of Southerners here?


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## Colonial Warrior (Jul 4, 2018)

ScreamingChicken said:


> For me , it's not so much a desire for a safe space to be fat. I prefer a place to discuss fat people issues with other fat folks and their admirers with a reasonable expectation of polite behavior. Like I stated up thread, I don't appreciate my thoughts on fat being dismissed because I am not 100% on board with the stances of other posters on other various topics. I am burnt out on the all or nothing approach. It explains why the some of the membership has bailed out or why some regions of the US with the fattest populations are so underrepresented here. Notice the lack of Southerners here?


That's what I want too!!!


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## Colonial Warrior (Jul 4, 2018)

There are a lot of people out there who are condemned to isolation for the fact they are super sized. Those people need more of a group of friends who want to make feel them part of this society, to make them realize their worth no matter their size!!!


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## Tracyarts (Jul 4, 2018)

Colonial Warrior said:


> There are a lot of people out there who are condemned to isolation for the fact they are super sized. Those people need more of a group of friends who want to make feel them part of this society, to make them realize their worth no matter their size!!!



One of the things I tried to get my local NAAFA chapter to do was start some kind of outreach for housebound supersized people. 

Offer them someone to talk to, share information about resources that could enrich their lives, and just let them know that they matter and deserve to be part of society. Oftentimes housebound people only have contact with caretakers and healthcare professionals. Sometimes family and church volunteers. Rarely just social interaction for it's own sake.

It never got any traction though. Not enough people to back it, too many in opposition of it.


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## Colonial Warrior (Jul 4, 2018)

Tracyarts said:


> One of the things I tried to get my local NAAFA chapter to do was start some kind of outreach for housebound supersized people.
> 
> Offer them someone to talk to, share information about resources that could enrich their lives, and just let them know that they matter and deserve to be part of society. Oftentimes housebound people only have contact with caretakers and healthcare professionals. Sometimes family and church volunteers. Rarely just social interaction for it's own sake.
> 
> It never got any traction though. Not enough people to back it, too many in opposition of it.


That's what I tried to do years ago. I was unemployed with no resources but if I have the chance to do something to reach that goal, I will open a store like Amplestuff and I will also try to make it a center of a socialization network. 

It's so very hard to reach super sized people here. Even with the internet. Like you experienced, Tracyarts!!!


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## Cynthia (Jul 4, 2018)

There aren't many fat self-help networks around -- spaces in which people can share things such as emotional support, fat-friendly wellness activities, job leads, health care provider recommendations, clothing swaps, travel advice, and socialization that goes beyond stereotypical hookup party culture. And, when I say "fat friendly," I mean the acceptance of people's right to do what they want with their bodies, based on their particular needs and desires.


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## Colonial Warrior (Jul 4, 2018)

Cynthia said:


> There aren't many fat self-help networks around -- spaces in which people can share things such as emotional support, fat-friendly wellness activities, job leads, health care provider recommendations, clothing swaps, travel advice, and socialization that goes beyond stereotypical hookup party culture. And, when I say "fat friendly," I mean the acceptance of people's right to do what they want with their bodies, based on their particular needs and desires.


The DM forums is one of the last stands for all of that. 

There are many hook up places outside here!!!


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## Cynthia (Jul 11, 2018)

Colonial Warrior said:


> The DM forums is one of the last stands for all of that.
> There are many hook up places outside here!!!



Not everyone is comfortable with the content on Dims' boards, so the reach and appeal of this forum will always be limited. And, yes, you are right in that there are many virtual and real hookup places in the SA community. Unfortunately, there's little else.


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## ScreamingChicken (Jul 11, 2018)

Cynthia said:


> Not everyone is comfortable with the content on Dims' boards, so the reach and appeal of this forum will always be limited. And, yes, you are right in that there are many virtual and real hookup places in the SA community. Unfortunately, there's little else.


 Exactly. There are aspects of the forums which are going to be roadblocks to expanding Dimensions. I can think of three or four things right off the top of my head that are going to be red flags for potential posters.


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## EtobicokeFA (Jul 21, 2018)

I still follow past members of NAAFA on social media, and from what I can piece together, there was also a some fallout between NAAFA and the supersized community.


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## DragonFly (Jul 22, 2018)

EtobicokeFA said:


> I still follow past members of NAAFA on social media, and from what I can piece together, there was also a some fallout between NAAFA and the supersized community.


NAAFA angered a lot of the community that is for sure


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## tonynyc (Jul 22, 2018)

Sadly the internet changed the game for many organizations. 

1. Why take the time to go to a "brick and mortar" event when one can gather the information that is needed online.
2. As for NAAFA - the topic of the fallout is worthy of a thread topic of its' own. Perhaps this may have been discussed in earlier threads.
3. I think there were several things that did in NAAFA. Over the years, other folks just hosted better parties. 

I remember attending one of the last NAAFA events on the East Coast around 2003/2004. The Saturday night dances use to be one of the 
main highlghts;but, this event it was sad.... the attendance was poor and had that "tired" look. 

Now I cannot speak for other parts of the country -but, in the tri-state (NY/NJ/CT) area gentrification can make it difficult to find a venue at a resonable price.


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## EtobicokeFA (Jul 23, 2018)

tonynyc said:


> Sadly the internet changed the game for many organizations.
> 
> 1. Why take the time to go to a "brick and mortar" event when one can gather the information that is needed online.
> 2. As for NAAFA - the topic of the fallout is worthy of a thread topic of its' own. Perhaps this may have been discussed in earlier threads.
> ...



Another topic I would to see here is if we should now consider ourselves in a post NAAFA world, and if so how to proceed.


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## DragonFly (Jul 24, 2018)

EtobicokeFA said:


> Another topic I would to see here is if we should now consider ourselves in a post NAAFA world, and if so how to proceed.


I would definately say it is a post NAAFA world, if you are talking about the Social side of things.


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## Colonial Warrior (Jul 24, 2018)

EtobicokeFA said:


> Another topic I would to see here is if we should now consider ourselves in a post NAAFA world, and if so how to proceed.


I agree 100 percent with that!!!


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## Recardo Admirer (Jul 25, 2018)

DragonFly said:


> I would definitely say it is a post NAAFA world, if you are talking about the Social side of things.



Do you think that a meetup group is a better platform for collaborative event planning? Perhaps followed by a Forum "Blast Message" informing Forum visitors/members of its existence?


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## DragonFly (Jul 25, 2018)

Recardo Admirer said:


> Do you think that a meetup group is a better platform for collaborative event planning? Perhaps followed by a Forum "Blast Message" informing Forum visitors/members of its existence?



Putting together is a big undertaking. I have no idea where to start.


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## Colonial Warrior (Jul 26, 2018)

Recardo Admirer said:


> Do you think that a meetup group is a better platform for collaborative event planning? Perhaps followed by a Forum "Blast Message" informing Forum visitors/members of its existence?


It's a great idea, but it's hard to materialize because there's a lot of apathy!!!


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## Recardo Admirer (Jul 26, 2018)

Colonial Warrior said:


> It's a great idea, but it's hard to materialize because there's a lot of apathy!!!


To be sure there is a lot of apathy. It is up to those who are motivated to shake those in the trance out of it, if they are willing. Some people have to be shown there is another way. So..who is motivated besides me?


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## GummyBear (Aug 4, 2018)

So are reading all of this and what the size acceptance/fat acceptance and now size positivity, it just keeps changing names. 

What sort of person would you like to see to stand up not only for the online community but for all people of size, if its gainers, or just bbw/ssbbw, or bhm/ssbhm, Fat Admirer and everything in between!

What actions would you want someone to take this whole world that "Big Is Beautiful" and to not be ashamed of who we are, or the people around us?

Were would 1 person start to try and have one voice for the whole community, real life, online (virtual i.e. dims), to those who do not even know about this online world, NAAFA and such!

I would love your feedback on this, maybe we can find someone on the online community or in RL who is willing to take this massive task/job at hand.

I think it would be super nice to have someone speak up from the chubby to the super super sized women/men, someone to help to make fat discrimation illegal and laws would be in place to not judge a person on there weight, or even at a doctor, hearing every freakin time you need WLS. 

Would love your input/advice/suggestions or anything else you want to share!


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## DragonFly (Aug 5, 2018)

GummyBear said:


> So are reading all of this and what the size acceptance/fat acceptance and now size positivity, it just keeps changing names.
> 
> What sort of person would you like to see to stand up not only for the online community but for all people of size, if its gainers, or just bbw/ssbbw, or bhm/ssbhm, Fat Admirer and everything in between!
> 
> ...


There are already many individuals and groups that are doing this, including NAAFA. The issue really is those groups don’t have a social element as in the past.


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## GummyBear (Aug 5, 2018)

Well I agree with that, do you think there is someone who would bring all of these groups together and have a leader/small group that can take all of these groups, NAAFa and the other groups, and the online boards and such like that. What kind of person would you want to do that and make things from each group for everyone as a whole, more then just bits and pieces.

Does anyone have an idea, of who might be a good spokesperson for this community and I guess the movement, or do you think there shouldnt be a spokesperson and this community should just keep moving on with bits and pieces and all these different groups and organization to be pushing out there thoughts but not working together to make a better community and maybe make changes to make size disrimation illegal and not all people need or want WLS! Like hearing that every time you go to the doctor, or there is airlines that have thought about requiring people to be under a certain weight and if there not they will weigh u and charge the different on the ticket and the seat(s), or like being discrimated agasint for being any size and discrimating and judging someone of size, any size and that should now society to contunie to do this to others.

I mean we were all built different ways for a reason and different bodies and I mean is there someone in any of those communites that you could see be a spokesperson?

I know that is going to be a huge task and a huge responsiblity, the right person it wouldnt be for fame or to be an idol, but to be a spokesperson for the size/fat community, in every aspect and in every group online and off line!

I mean what sort of changes would you like to see? What kind of person do you think we all need to stay up and be a role model and I guess kind of like Martin Luther King and his fights for blacks to have equal rights.....would any of you even consider to find someone who can do that for the size/fat community and will do it in a pleasing and positive light?

Or does everyone just want to keep going in the several different groups that are happening now!

How can we all work together to make it a better place for everyone?

What are you thoughts, suggestions and feedback?

Or should we just keep going on like we are all going and not try and find someone who would be a good example of size/fat acceptance and all of that?


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## Mack27 (Aug 20, 2018)

svenm2112 said:


> I was wondering wondering what happened to all the NAAFA events and the BBW events in New England and New York? I was trying to find a NAAFA or BBW event in the New England and New York. And they are all gone now. I was wondering what happen?


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## Mack27 (Aug 20, 2018)

Man I remember the days when there were 3 separate groups having BBW dances in New England. There were some Summer months when you could hit 4 different events. There's not much now, Club Ample has events trickling out every few months now, the same with Curves. The Big Beautiful Jersey Bash is coming up in September. Too much of the community has been gobbled up by intersectionality, we were better off on our own.


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## DragonFly (Aug 20, 2018)

Mack27 said:


> Man I remember the days when there were 3 separate groups having BBW dances in New England. There were some Summer months when you could hit 4 different events. There's not much now, Club Ample has events trickling out every few months now, the same with Curves. The Big Beautiful Jersey Bash is coming up in September. Too much of the community has been gobbled up by intersectionality, we were better off on our own.


I totally get intersectionality.... but then again it seems to be anti-intuitive when we haven’t fixed the big problems like male female inequality, racial discrimination and fat Discrimination. Do we need to make less divisions and work in larger groups on one issue.. probably. I miss the diversity within the bbw party scene. There used to be a much wider age variety and people variety!


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## KHayes666 (Sep 23, 2018)

Mack27 said:


> Man I remember the days when there were 3 separate groups having BBW dances in New England. There were some Summer months when you could hit 4 different events. There's not much now, Club Ample has events trickling out every few months now, the same with Curves. The Big Beautiful Jersey Bash is coming up in September. Too much of the community has been gobbled up by intersectionality, we were better off on our own.



I could be here all day squawking about how and why the NE scene went down the crapper but you lived it, you already know.


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## Ned Sonntag (Sep 23, 2018)

DragonFly said:


> I would definately say it is a post NAAFA world, if you are talking about the Social side of things.


 NAAFA imploded in late spring of '95... even the remnant that pulled-itself-together in ~what? ~ '04? was a shadow of one faction. The Perfect was the Enemy of the Good. Heavenly Bodies attempted a rapprochement in '06 in Needham but it didn't go well. So it's an entire generation later and very few of the original '68ers survive. But they succeeded in changing the culture a great deal... no failure there!


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## JoeBananas (Sep 26, 2018)

HereticFA said:


> NAAFA transitioned away from a support organization and into an organization that tried to be more political in nature that didn't have Conventions or Holiday Happenings as in the past.
> 
> And the original hostesses of the non-NAAFA events got burned out and no newcomers came along to hold events. (Plus there's the WLS "solution" that so many pursued and have no interest in fat acceptance events now.)
> 
> There are some fat sex related bashes in various areas of the US. You might check out Feabie or some of the other fat related online communities. Good luck with your quest.



Approach Feabie at your peril, it's mostly a newsfeed of millennials' petty complaints ("I'm so bored" and such) and females with Amazon wish list items you can buy them if you want a return private message.


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## DragonFly (Sep 27, 2018)

JoeBananas said:


> Approach Feabie at your peril, it's mostly a newsfeed of millennials' petty complaints ("I'm so bored" and such) and females with Amazon wish list items you can buy them if you want a return private message.


Good description of Feabie - the complaints in the feed is actually quite funny. Nothing like an 18 year old, crying about the state of their lives, so long it has been so hard it as been. Lol


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## Scotter (Sep 30, 2018)

This thread really asks two separate and distinct questions. The fate of NAAFA, and other size-positive events, are two different things. It seems that the whole concept of social gathering, even among mainstream life, has declined. Why that is could be any number of reasons, but I suspect it has to do with changes in the economy.

With respect to NAAFA in particular:

I first became aware of NAAFA circa 1983 in an article I read somewhere. My most recent activism was 2003, closing Hipsters, which I had started in 1997.

I NAAFA go through it's life cycle, and became versed in its history dating back to it's inception in 1968, straight from the mouths of the founders.

When I first heard on local radio that there was a Michigan Chapter of NAAFA, I clamored to join, but was disappointed at what I found. The first meeting I attended was five people. Meeting attendance was considered huge if there were a dozen people. The chapter "Bulletin," (so referred to because only National was allowed to have a "newsletter," don't you know), was a complete joke. Multiply replicated copies of copies in letter size stapled together, much of it handwritten. Circulation was about fifty.

By my second meeting, I realized that I had choice to make. I could either accept it as it was, which would mean leaving altogether, or become active in order to help it fulfill it's potential. I chose the latter. I offered to publish the chapter bulletin using the newfangled desktop publishing technology, reformatting it to a bi-fold center-stapled 1/2 letter size booklet form, with a colored cover page and a custom graphic on the front. At every meeting I pushed to dedicate as much of the budget to marketing as possible, which usually was met with fierce resistance.

The biggest hurdle seemed to be the fact that because the chapter was modeled after a political body, those in office were highly resistant to expanding membership, because that would potentially threaten their ability to keep their position of "power." The office holders apparently feared newcomers because they could not be relied upon to show loyalty to the status quo. Particularly with respect to NAAFA, this seems to have been its plight throughout it's entire life-cycle. 

I read in this thread that alcohol was prohibited at local events because National feared liability issues for someone at the local level getting a DUI? Give me a freaking break. I don't believe for one second that's the real reason, since it's virtually impossible that a liability link could be established between a local organization for a state-based misdemeanor and a national 501c-something corporation, merely because the later charged money to license the use of it's name to the former, with no other contractual legal ties. Ridiculous. I would surmise the real reason was that some faction of the board wished to impose the personal sensibilities of a few upon the entire organization.

Alcohol is a social gathering tradition that dates back to the Old Testament and other contemporaneous scriptures. To try to ban it at social functions is to drastically limit their appeal.

Through NAAFA's lifecycle (I now consider it defunct, despite the fact that some ghost of it still exists -- RIP), I witnessed many similar self-inflicted wounds, ranging from cut-throat power struggles that fragmented the organization, to ridiculous bureaucracies that stunted its potential for growth. 

In that light, it was little wonder that one of the first splinter groups, Goddesses, started by Nancy Esposito, took off like a rocket. Goddesses was purely social in nature, and was a for-profit endeavor, in stark contrast to NAAFA's staunchly non-profit sensibilities. Esposito was considered a traitor and persona non grata in the NAAFA elite circles. Upon that, all factions agreed, though nobody came up with a good reason to ban her.

I do recall there being some committee set up to oust members based on arbitrary standards of appropriate conduct, which quickly devolved into a platform for bullying. After a couple years it had to be scaled back, with the sacrifice of many dozens of members to the fledgling organization.

In my opinion, NAAFA's strict approach to centralization of power was one thing that permanently stunted its potential for growth. Rather than taking a more federal or franchise approach, all power remained with the national board, and the chapters were merely wholly subjugated colonies. There was no design to allow chapters to take any part in national policy discussion, no incorporation of chapter "bulletins" in the national newsletter to provide a view of what different areas were trying and their results, only National's way or the highway. 

"The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers." ~ Princess Leia

Eventually, political underpinnings overshadowed size-acceptance as NAAFA's primary focus. When Conrad was finally ousted from the Board, the new Chairwoman boasted of how they had finally rid NAAFA of all male influence. When I heard that, I knew I was done with NAAFA. I would still take advantage of its social events as long as they lasted (which wasn't much longer), but never again would I consider contributing to or participating in the organazation.

One of the things that NAAFA's tight reign on chapters caused was lack of local growth. People mostly became involved with the chapters either through word of mouth, or by referral from National. Because the chapter structures were also required to take political entity form, their flexibility in adapting to and promoting growth was limited. Further, any incentive to create growth, as mentioned above, was likewise limited.

Lessons learned: Political structure and fierce centralization of power are probably not a good idea on a national scale.

With respect to Non-NAAFA groups and BBW evens in general:

Prior to advent of the internet, there was nothing out there save a few groups like Goddesses, Plump Pals, Large Encounters, etc., all of which were located in the densely populated East Coast, and a couple groups on the densely populated West Coast. 

With the advent of the internet and America Online, other groups were able to start popping up in densely populated areas such as Dallas-Fort Worth, Chicago, the East Coast of Florida, etc. These groups were mainly supported by regionalized chat rooms such as AOL's FLBBWforFLMen, or ChicagoBBW, which allowed people in a close regional area to congregate and form a will to gather locally. 

The internet also allowed BBW bashes to become a thing so long as they could gain wide regional or national draw. Throughout it all, my observation was that internet chat, with people sitting home at their computers spending hours chatting in real time according to niche interests, such as size acceptance, was the backbone marketing most of it.

The one anomalous exception to this phenomenon of which I am aware was Hipsters in Atlanta, but that was the result of pure brute-force local advertising, rather than internet dependence. Hipsters' success attracted NAAFA to have its National convention in Atlanta in 2002, despite NAAFA's having virtually zero presence in the entire Southeast.

When mobile devices started supplanting the phenomenon of people sitting at computers for hours, chat rooms became impractical as full-size keyboards were replaced by slow, clumsy, but pocketable touch screen keyboards. Similarly, the ubiquitous, massive-capability, all-powerful, but processing-power pig that was Myspace, fell into disuse in the wake of the much less capable, but mobile app'ed Facebook. 

To this day web surfing remains clunky and awkward via mobile device, so if you don't have an app, nobody is going to see you. The small content creator's accessibility to web pages allowed all kinds of start-ups to bud and flourish, but the high hurdle to making the leap to from web-site to mobile app pretty much killed the cottage industry start-ups in favor of the more well-heeled who could afford to develop apps.

Meanwhile, the advent of social media tended to supplant all in-person social activity even in mainstream culture. The draw of real life first-time encounters seems to have faded dramatically across the board. Bar strip nightlife in most major cities appears to have more than halved. "Going out" on Friday and Saturday nights has become something of a past concept, it seems. I think for the BBW scene, the effect has been all the more devastating.

For the dating scene, everyone seems to want to meet online these days. For the more general social scene, that effect seems to fragment what's left.

I predict that the online trend will get old though, and the desire for real-life social settings will return. 

That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.


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## Killexia (Apr 10, 2019)

Scotter, your statement about getting burned out on social media is 100% correct. After reading through this thread, I was going to mention that. 

I am at the point where Dims, Gab, and Instagram are the only social media things I do. I'm rarely on Instagram lately and check into Gab every so often when I want to post something. 

I crave real world socializing. I haven't had it in years and I miss the camaraderie.


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## DragonFly (Apr 11, 2019)

Killexia said:


> Scotter, your statement about getting burned out on social media is 100% correct. After reading through this thread, I was going to mention that.
> 
> I am at the point where Dims, Gab, and Instagram are the only social media things I do. I'm rarely on Instagram lately and check into Gab every so often when I want to post something.
> 
> I crave real world socializing. I haven't had it in years and I miss the camaraderie.


I agree, Dimensions is the closest to that feeling of community I have found!


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