# Fat women....



## moonvine (Jan 15, 2006)

"are notoriously easy to get in bed." 

How would you respond to this statement?

I'm trying to have a "discussion" on another board.


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## Jes (Jan 15, 2006)

well it depends--how high off the floor is the bed?

because I stayed in a B and B once, and I needed a 3-step stool!


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## AnnMarie (Jan 15, 2006)

Any woman with low self-esteem is notoriously easier to get in bed. 

Be it fat, feeling ugly, feeling worthless, feeling unloved, etc. 

Sure, if you want to pick off the lowest rungs to get some sex, then good method. 

I don't think fat women are any larger percentage of easy women than anyone else, and if those who think we're easy came into contact with me now, they'd have a very different tune to sing. 

I think many women with low self-esteem go through periods where they are "fucking for hugs" as my circle calls it. You'll do anything to feel valid, and if some is paying attention, then that's what you'll take. They want a hug, a nice person, a kind word, can't get that, then they'll take the validation that some sex might give them for a fleeting moment. 

Thank goodness more grow up and out of that feeling, but I feel horribly for those who don't. It's a hollow, hollow life.


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## AnnMarie (Jan 15, 2006)

Jes said:


> well it depends--how high off the floor is the bed?
> 
> because I stayed in a B and B once, and I needed a 3-step stool!




Hahahahaha... oh my.


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## Jes (Jan 15, 2006)

Yeah, obviously, it's a stereotype that has some genesis in fact, but I'd say it's true for women across the board, just as AM has said. If you have low self esteem, you'll allow yourself to be used. In a large manner of ways.


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## Zoom (Jan 15, 2006)

I wouldn't say it's easier for me to get them in bed, because I have a small bed. Also I'd have to marry her first.


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## Tina (Jan 15, 2006)

Yeah, but just try to get her OUT!

This is ridiculous, Moonvine, and sometimes difficult to take seriously. Sounds like one of those futile discussions to me, but I'd have to agree with AnnMarie.


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## ClashCityRocker (Jan 15, 2006)

i have a really big bed, but i flail in my sleep and do flips and bogard the covers, so i don't even try to get them into my bed.

aaron£


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## Jane (Jan 15, 2006)

Might as well say blondes are easy
or secretaries
hell it's all arbitrary and we're all
INDIVIDUALS.

Not to mention that high bed thing.
They're a bitch!!!


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## fatlane (Jan 15, 2006)

Actually, all easy people are easy. I know it's circular logic, but that doesn't make it any less true.


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## saucywench (Jan 15, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> ...if those who think we're easy came into contact with me now, they'd have a very different tune to sing....


 
In a high(er)-octave range?


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## Jane (Jan 15, 2006)

It depends on whether I want to be easy or not....
And that depends on the other person.
Otherwise...fergetit.


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## Jes (Jan 16, 2006)

ClashCityRocker said:


> i have a really big bed, but i flail in my sleep and do flips and bogard the covers, so i don't even try to get them into my bed.
> 
> aaron£



CCR is my new boyfriend.


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## Tracyarts (Jan 16, 2006)

I met a few men with that attitude back when I was participating in the local "fat scene". One joked about how going to a fat dance at a motel lounge was cheaper and easier than picking up a whore on the stroll and the chicks even paid for their own rooms. 

Totally cringeworthy. 

Tracy


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 16, 2006)

I'm a little confused. Why does enjoying your sexuality make you cheap? Men have sex for the sake of sex all the time. But if a woman does - fat or not - she's cheap, slutty, easy etc.

This just rankles me.

If you want to have sex - have sex. Enjoy it. IF it's a one night stand so what?

What the hell happened to the sexual revolution????????


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## Totmacher (Jan 16, 2006)

The difference is women feel guilty afterward. I blame society.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 16, 2006)

Totmacher said:


> The difference is women feel guilty afterward. I blame society.




That is the truth! But I never felt guilty. But damn if most of my girlfriends did. *sigh*


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## Totmacher (Jan 16, 2006)

I feel your pain. Maybe we can start a movement or something.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 16, 2006)

Totmacher said:


> I feel your pain. Maybe we can start a movement or something.



I think there was one. If I remember correctly it was called _"Women's Liberation" _or some such thing.


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## Miss Vickie (Jan 16, 2006)

I'm trying to remember if I felt guilty, "back in the day", when I was having casual sex. I don't think I did; mostly I was gratified that someone wanted me. There was one period of my life -- when I was a freshman in college, totally naive, lonely, scared and wanted somebody, anybody to love me and take care of me -- when I was easy. Fortunately, nothing bad happened to me, so I was lucky. But for me it was about wanting a sense of belonging and closeness, rather than poor self esteem. Or maybe I just wasn't aware that low self esteem was motivating me. 

I don't know. I think it's a complicated issue, and I don't think you can really say that fat women are any easier than thin women. Like the woman said, anyone with low self esteem is going to be easy. (Except a married friend of mine whose self esteem is SO low that it's put their sex life on the skids. She just can't respond sexually, mostly because of her perception of her size. Very sad). I know plenty of thin women with low self esteem. Sadly, it's epidemic in our society).


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## ClashCityRocker (Jan 16, 2006)

sounds good, jes. let's go to ben and jerry's.

aaron£


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## Les Toil (Jan 16, 2006)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I'm a little confused. Why does enjoying your sexuality make you cheap? Men have sex for the sake of sex all the time. But if a woman does - fat or not - she's cheap, slutty, easy etc.
> 
> This just rankles me.
> 
> If you want to have sex - have sex. Enjoy it. IF it's a one night stand so what?



Hiya Sandie. What Tracy said was that some of these guys have the attitude that fat women are easy cheap sluts. If their attitude was more about meeting someone for some fun one night hanky-panky, that would be a healthier attitude about two consenting adults. But when the attitude is "Save your money pal, we can easilly get a fat slut", well that mindset pretty much sucks. 

But yeh, if two strangers in the night wanna clash together (no offense CCR) in a big ol' sweaty doink session, that's cool as long as both parties are strapped to the hilt with protection. Personally, a total stranger would have to have gigantic flash cards saying "I'M INTERESTED!!" for me to realize she wants to do the horizontal boogie with moi. I'm too shy and nervous to realize the lipstick writing on the wall was meant for me.


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## bigcutiekaroline (Jan 16, 2006)

AnnMarie's comment pretty much sums it it for me. 

I don't think fat chicks have the principle hold on low selfesteem. It ruins rampant in all walks of life. And this is what makes it easy for someone to take sexual advantage of. 

Hey....if they are both into it ...great....enjoy it but be safe....but if it is a "damn I need to get laid...hey she will do she's easy" kinda thing...then they need a kick in the ass!


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## Tracyarts (Jan 16, 2006)

I think that if you want to have casual sex for the sake of pleasure, then go for it. No harm, no foul. As long as you are taking steps to protect yourself, and making sure that you do not have unrealistic hopes of what happens next, then it's all fun and games between consenting adults. 

BUT... I have known a LOT of women who go into casual sex with a very desperate agenda that it turn into a relationship. I have on several occasions, had friends and acquaintences cry in my ear over such delusional couplings. And unfortunately, more often than not, it was fat women who got their hopes way too high. 

I have had women admit to me that they had sex with a man because they hoped it would lead to a relationship. NOT because they wanted to have some hot post sexual revolution empowered casual sex. But becuase they felt that if they gave it up to the guy, he might like them enough to actually ask them out on a date and want to have a relationship with them. 

Totally different situation. Totally not healthy. 

Tracy


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## BBW Betty (Jan 16, 2006)

I totally have to agree with AnnMarie about anyone with low self-esteem being an easy target.

I'm going to disagree with many of you here, though. Maybe it's my conservative upbringing, but I don't think sex should be casual, even with lots of protection. I know it seems to be the way of the world now, but I think men and women should be at least in a committed relationship. No double standard, just recognizing the act as one of supreme physical, mental, and emotional closeness.

You don't have to agree with me, but understand that for many people, it still is more than recreation.


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## AnnMarie (Jan 16, 2006)

Tracyarts said:


> I have had women admit to me that they had sex with a man because they hoped it would lead to a relationship. NOT because they wanted to have some hot post sexual revolution empowered casual sex. But becuase they felt that if they gave it up to the guy, he might like them enough to actually ask them out on a date and want to have a relationship with them.
> 
> Totally different situation. Totally not healthy.
> 
> Tracy



Exactly, they're completely different issues. A healthy, confident man and woman who want to get it on... go for it, it's your life. The idea of a woman jumping through hoops that she feels she has to jump through because it's her only way to be accepted or get attention is a completely different animal.


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## Mariah (Jan 16, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> Any woman with low self-esteem is notoriously easier to get in bed.
> 
> Be it fat, feeling ugly, feeling worthless, feeling unloved, etc.


Only when feelings aren't present. I'm quite convinced a person with low self esteem will hesitate to have sex with someone he or she cares for in the very first stages of a relationship - once again for fear of feeling inadequate or not good looking enough. Size is not an issue here though, might even be good, because then one might assume the other one to appreciate people of size (FA), and I take that back, because thinking the other one is an FA might make one think that he or she has no interest in the person beyond the body. Nah, there's no way telling how these things work.

But yes, I think the above quoted holds true pretty much when one only is "in need" or wishful for some feelings to appear later on.

And on the topic of being a slut. You're a slut if you're in need and therefore will have anyone. You're not a slut if you decidedly want sex and will have it with whomever you choose. It's a question of perspective - not that all will see it that way


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## Jes (Jan 16, 2006)

ClashCityRocker said:


> sounds good, jes. let's go to ben and jerry's.
> 
> aaron£



Allright, but only if you promise to bring your back and shoulders. A girl has needs, you know.


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## Thrifty McGriff (Jan 16, 2006)

Mariah said:


> ...and I take that back, because thinking the other one is an FA might make one think that he or she has no interest in the person beyond the body.



That is one of my biggest fears and reasons for being reluctant to approach the girls that I find attractive. I'm afraid they would think I'm a pervert for liking big girls (as I know some people think that way), or that I'm only interested in sex with a big girl and wouldn't care about the person within the body.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 16, 2006)

*SLUT*

I hate that word. Used in any way to condemn a sexaully active woman. I HATE THAT WORD! 

I watched a documentary recently called "SLUT!" Did you all know the original meaning of that word was "A slovenly woman." But it has since been used to shame and demean women.

I hate that word.

But on the other hand I want to reclaim that word as my own - and I think women can reclaim that word so it can no longer be used to hurt us. And as women we need to stop using that word to hurt each other. 

Is a woman who enjoys her sexuality a slut? No. She's empowered. Is a woman who has sex outside her marriage a slut? No. If her husband is OK with it - she is empowered. If she is going behind his back - she's confused and possibly needy - but not a slut. Is a single woman who thinks she needs to sleep with men in order for them to like her - a slut? No. She's misguided and needs some self esteem.

I think women need to realize that just because a man wants to sleep with you deosn't mean it will ever mean anything more than sex. Period. 

*getting off my soap box now*


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## Miss Vickie (Jan 16, 2006)

Tracyarts said:


> I think that if you want to have casual sex for the sake of pleasure, then go for it. No harm, no foul. As long as you are taking steps to protect yourself, and making sure that you do not have unrealistic hopes of what happens next, then it's all fun and games between consenting adults.
> 
> BUT... I have known a LOT of women who go into casual sex with a very desperate agenda that it turn into a relationship. I have on several occasions, had friends and acquaintences cry in my ear over such delusional couplings. And unfortunately, more often than not, it was fat women who got their hopes way too high.
> 
> ...



What she said. Seriously. My only worry (particularly as the mom of three teenagers, two of whom are girls) is that sometimes it's not so clear cut, especially in someone who for whatever reason (age, experience, wisdom) may think she's having casual sex because it's fun, when deep down there's a more needful reason for it. That was me at 18 -- I thought I was having casual sex because it was fun, but looking back, a) it wasn't fun and b) I definitely was craving attention. 

Obviously, you can only go with what you know at the time, but I'd hate for there to be more women out there like me who were exposing themselves to all kinds of nasties (disease, people, etc) out of a need for love and attention. I can tell you, it's just not worth the heartbreak and the feelings of inadequacy that can happen when the guy never calls again. 

OTOH, if you're truly into it for the fun, and you don't give a rip if the guy has a change of... whatever... and doesn't call back? Enjoy yourself, be safe, and have the best damn casual sex you can. Just please don't do it in the hopes that it will "lead to" a relationship. Because even if it did, is that really what you'd want to base a relationship on??

(Do I sound like an old fogey or WHAT???)


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## Jane (Jan 16, 2006)

What concerns me more, with young ones, is the idea that oral sex is not sex. (Uh huh, is too.) And while you may not get pregnant from it, there are all sorts of nasty things that can happen to you as a result.


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## Ivy (Jan 16, 2006)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I'm a little confused. Why does enjoying your sexuality make you cheap? Men have sex for the sake of sex all the time. But if a woman does - fat or not - she's cheap, slutty, easy etc.
> 
> This just rankles me.
> 
> ...



Dear Sandie,

I love you.

The end.

Love,

Ivy.


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## TraciJo67 (Jan 16, 2006)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> *SLUT*
> 
> I hate that word. Used in any way to condemn a sexaully active woman. I HATE THAT WORD!
> 
> ...



A sexually active woman who is having sex outside of her marriage, and without her husband's knowledge (far less consent) *is* deserving of condemnation -- and yes, she is a slut. 

I'd say the same thing about a man who is cheating on his unsuspecting wife.

It's selfish and reprehensible behavior, no matter how it is spin doctored. If confused, seek counseling. If unhappy in the marriage, seek a separation or divorce. If the sex is lousy, buy some manuals. For every problem, there is a solution -- even if that solution is just acknowledging that the relationship isn't going to work out. But while in a relationship, it is never the right time to begin an intimate (be that sexual or emotional) relationship with someone else. 

What goes on between consenting adults is one thing -- what goes on behind the back of a clueless spouse/SO is something else altogether.


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## moonvine (Jan 16, 2006)

TraciJo67 said:


> A sexually active woman who is having sex outside of her marriage, and without her husband's knowledge (far less consent) *is* deserving of condemnation -- and yes, she is a slut.
> 
> I'd say the same thing about a man who is cheating on his unsuspecting wife.
> 
> ...



Not only that, but you are potentially exposing your unsuspecting partner to disease. There just is no excuse for it.


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## BBW MeganLynn44DD (Jan 16, 2006)

I am not easy to get into bed.I need to know the guy for quite a while before I make that jump.Although Brad Pitt if your listening....


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 16, 2006)

Well TraciJo I look at it this way. I don't want to be condemned for something that I may be doing out of - pain - loneliness - fear or just confusion, so I'm not gonna judge another for doing the same.

To be judged and condemned for any action is supposed to be up to whatever god/goddess you believe in - I'll leave that up to them.

An affair is almost NEVER about sex. :bow: 



TraciJo67 said:


> A sexually active woman who is having sex outside of her marriage, and without her husband's knowledge (far less consent) *is* deserving of condemnation -- and yes, she is a slut.
> 
> I'd say the same thing about a man who is cheating on his unsuspecting wife.
> 
> ...


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 16, 2006)

moonvine said:


> Not only that, but you are potentially exposing your unsuspecting partner to disease. There just is no excuse for it.



Excuse for it? No. A million reasons - absolutely. You never know where your life is going to go and you may do things you would say you will never do in a MILLION years. Life is hard and marriage is even harder. Most people having affairs are in a lot of pain - unless they are like my sister and just can't keep their pants on. 

If I had the choice between going home to a man who was going to beat the crap out of me and going to a Motel with a stranger. You can bet your life I'm going to the motel.

There are ALWAYS extenuating circumstances in an affair. And when it comes right down to it - it takes two to ruin a marriage.


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## ClashCityRocker (Jan 16, 2006)

will do. you just promise to bring your wit, so we can sprinkle every conversation with clever one-liners.

aaron£


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## moonvine (Jan 16, 2006)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Excuse for it? No. A million reasons - absolutely. You never know where your life is going to go and you may do things you would say you will never do in a MILLION years. Life is hard and marriage is even harder. Most people having affairs are in a lot of pain - unless they are like my sister and just can't keep their pants on.




You know, I'm sorry that people are in pain. I truly am. I don't think that is a good reason to break one's marital vows. Sorry.



> If I had the choice between going home to a man who was going to beat the crap out of me and going to a Motel with a stranger. You can bet your life I'm going to the motel.



Well, I have been in an abusive relationship. And I went to the battered women's shelter (not once, not twice, but THREE times - slow learner here), not to a motel with a stranger. I'm not sure what the two have to do with each other. I think it would be an extremely poor choice to go to a motel with a stranger rather than take advantage of the resources available to battered women. 



> There are ALWAYS extenuating circumstances in an affair. And when it comes right down to it - it takes two to ruin a marriage.



There are a lot of people who just want to have an affair, so they have one. How is that an extenuating circumstance?


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 16, 2006)

Well we're not gonna agree on this subject. So I'm just gonna say I don't see life in black and white. I see it in shades of gray.  



moonvine said:


> You know, I'm sorry that people are in pain. I truly am. I don't think that is a good reason to break one's marital vows. Sorry.



I never said it was a good reason. But when you are in pain you rarely reason well.



> Well, I have been in an abusive relationship. And I went to the battered women's shelter (not once, not twice, but THREE times - slow learner here), not to a motel with a stranger. I'm not sure what the two have to do with each other. I think it would be an extremely poor choice to go to a motel with a stranger rather than take advantage of the resources available to battered women.



I was in an abusive realtionship too. And I had a one night stand. (no I wasn't married) And that man who I never saw again told me I was worth so much more then to be with a drunk who was abusive to me. He gave me the courage to end that relationship. You never know where the courage is going to come from. And I think being in the arms of a man who didn't know me but told me I was worth something - was far more productive then to go home to a man who was drunk and would just hit me. I'll never forget him as long as I live. 





> There are a lot of people who just want to have an affair, so they have one. How is that an extenuating circumstance?



I agree there are people who just can't keep their pants on - like my sister. And while I don't agree with what she does - I am not going to condemn her. It's not my place. She needs help - condemning her or others like her - helps nothing. Find me someone who says "I just wanted to have an affair" and I bet I can find an extenuating circumstance. As for my sister - she and I wer both sexually molested as children. Does it excuse her behavior? No. But it is an extenuating circumstance.


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## Miss Vickie (Jan 16, 2006)

Bravoh, Moonvine and Traci. I'm reppin' ya both, if the system will let me.


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## TraciJo67 (Jan 16, 2006)

Sandie, it is not my place to negate your experiences -- especially since I don't really even know you. My comments were more generally directed, but I do stand behind them.

Yes, people who have affairs are often confused and in pain. And sure, I can understand some of what motivates people to seek comfort or love or whatever they may be lacking from their relationships. But it doesn't cost me *anything* to extend an empathetic response. I'm just a mostly anonymous voice on an internet forum that we both frequent. 

There are always a thousand reasons for why people behave badly. Some are understandable, and some aren't. I guess what motivates me isn't so much wanting other people to understand my behavior as it is needing to be able to love and respect myself. I wouldn't be capable of an affair, because I wouldn't be able to live with that behavior. That's not smug or self-righteous, although I know you might read it that way. But it's more the voice of experience. I've done things that hurt my husband deeply. I won't illuminate on a public forum, other than to say that it wasn't an affair but probably just as damaging to his ability to trust me. What ultimately stopped me from my terribly selfish and self-destructive behavior was the knowledge that I could not align my behavior with my need to see myself as a good person. And the fact is, I wasn't a good person. I equate behavior with character, and I cannot separate the two, not from my own actions or from those of the people I love and rely on. I had to stop the behavior to save myself, because the remorse was killing me. Too bad I couldn't stop just because I loved my husband -- that would have been very unselfish of me, eh?  

Sandie, you have talked about abusive relationships and possible underlying reasons for affairs - and yes, I can extend all the understanding in the world to that behavior, but again, I am not the injured party. The reality here is that you (the general 'you') cannot expect understanding or even forgiveness from the person who gets hurt. And all of the excuses in the world doesn't make cheating the fault of the spouse who didn't stray. Sure, it takes two to destroy a marriage - but the cheating is an issue *aside* from whatever problems are within that marriage. The cheating is a symptom of selfish behavior, poor judgment, and a lack of good character.

I'm not an overly religious person, but I do believe in karma.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 16, 2006)

While I understand your point Traci - I don't agree. I think affairs and the reason why there are affairs are so complicated I just cannot condemn the parties involved. But far be it for me to tell YOU or anyone how to react. That's not my place either.

I don't know what else to say except - thanks for the discussion I found it very interesting.  



TraciJo67 said:


> Sandie, it is not my place to negate your experiences -- especially since I don't really even know you. My comments were more generally directed, but I do stand behind them.
> 
> Yes, people who have affairs are often confused and in pain. And sure, I can understand some of what motivates people to seek comfort or love or whatever they may be lacking from their relationships. But it doesn't cost me *anything* to extend an empathetic response. I'm just a mostly anonymous voice on an internet forum that we both frequent.
> 
> ...


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## Jane (Jan 16, 2006)

Sandie....you have a generous, non judgemental mind which I greatly respect. Thank you for being on the board.


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## JMNYC (Jan 16, 2006)

moonvine said:


> "are notoriously easy to get in bed."
> 
> How would you respond to this statement?
> 
> I'm trying to have a "discussion" on another board.




It's hard for me to answer that statement, even coming from a history of having sex with multiple thin and fat partners before I met my wife in 1996, because whenever I was with someone who was fat, I wasn't settling---I was always really into lots and lots of extra flesh.

The other side of it is the question sounds like it's coming from a childish mentality of sex---to "get someone in bed", as though it's a conquest and a scorecard is being kept, as opposed to two people meeting, hanging out and having sex if that's what seems to want to happen next.

There is also a value judgement in it. If a fat girl is easier to get in bed, so what? Is she less of a person? A "slut" to be thought of a few points down the line of whatever rating system you have for women via your religion, upbringing, the points of the boys on the corner? 

Easier, harder, sluttier, virtuous. 

All words used by men and some women to justify misogyny. 

There are some people who want to go to bed right away, and others who would prefer to wait. I've been to bed with women I've known less than five minutes, and others with whom I had to wait a bit. Am I better or worse because of it? No?

Neither, then, should women, whatever their weight.

I will now as I did then defend the right of any woman to go to bed with as many men as she wishes.


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## Tina (Jan 16, 2006)

Wonderful, well-said post.


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## olivefun (Jan 16, 2006)

Miss Vickie said:


> I know plenty of thin women with low self esteem. Sadly, it's epidemic in our society).



Hmmm... 
who would profit from us feeling real bad about ourselves....?


*
If we make people feel bad enough about themselves perhaps they will buy whatever we are selling in order to make themselves feel better.

*


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 16, 2006)

olivefun said:


> Hmmm...
> who would profit from us feeling real bad about ourselves....?
> 
> 
> ...




BINGO!  

Behold the Power of the Wal-Mart!


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 16, 2006)

Jane said:


> Sandie....you have a generous, non judgemental mind which I greatly respect. Thank you for being on the board.



Well gosh thank you Jane.


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## Miss Vickie (Jan 16, 2006)

olivefun said:


> Hmmm...
> who would profit from us feeling real bad about ourselves....?
> 
> 
> ...



Your post reminds me that it's time to re-read The Beauty Myth, one of my favorite books, and one I haven't read in at least five years.

Ugh. I hate advertising that's focused on using people's insecurities to sell a product. I mean, I understand capitalism and all, but I much prefer commercials that are smart and witty and get past that.


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## jamie (Jan 16, 2006)

Jane said:


> What concerns me more, with young ones, is the idea that oral sex is not sex. (Uh huh, is too.) And while you may not get pregnant from it, there are all sorts of nasty things that can happen to you as a result.



Amen... the girl I think of as my little sister was feeding me this line when she was 15, I was horrified. I am amazed in general how much more active and, I guess, mature young people are about sex. I feel like I grew up in the 40's or something.


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## Miss Vickie (Jan 17, 2006)

jamie said:


> Amen... the girl I think of as my little sister was feeding me this line when she was 15, I was horrified. I am amazed in general how much more active and, I guess, mature young people are about sex. I feel like I grew up in the 40's or something.



Jamie (and Jane) I know, it's scary. On the one hand I think it's great that we're more open in terms of discussing sexual matters; on the other, yipes! When I was 16 or 17 I was much more naive about sex than my kids are. Heck, I was more naive about everything than they are. 

But yeah, oral sex is sex. After all, it's got the name right in it.  I think sometimes it's just treated as Extreme Making Out. :shocked:


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## Jes (Jan 17, 2006)

JMNYC said:


> . I've been to bed with women I've known less than five minutes, and others with whom I had to wait a bit. .





What, like....*seven* minutes?



(had to. and no, I'm not asking for details. At all.)


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## hourglass (Jan 17, 2006)

I agree with previous comments...i don't think it matters the size of the girl. Self esteem plays a much bigger role in my opinion. If a girl is feeling a need for attention and love they will take it where they can get it. I've watched girls at the local bbw clubs walk up to a guy, grab em in that special spot and tell them if they want to take them home to just ask...personally it blew me away as i'd never do that, but i thought that either that girl was desperate or really confident LOL I've seen the same thing at a regular night club though so it's not exclusive to big girls.


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## gangstadawg (Jan 17, 2006)

moonvine said:


> "are notoriously easy to get in bed."
> 
> How would you respond to this statement?
> 
> I'm trying to have a "discussion" on another board.


its utter bull crap. i live in detroit and most of the women here ( skinny, thick or bbw) are gold diggers or female playas. or they have retartedly high standards. so getting any woman in detroit into bed is not easy at all unless they are hoes or sluts or they really like you or they think you got loot..


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## TraciJo67 (Jan 17, 2006)

gangstadawg said:


> its utter bull crap. i live in detroit and most of the women here ( skinny, thick or bbw) are gold diggers or female playas. or they have retartedly high standards. so getting any woman in detroit into bed is not easy at all unless they are hoes or sluts or they really like you or they think you got loot..



gangstadawg, I can't imagine why women aren't just raining from the skies to fall into bed with you.


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## Miss Vickie (Jan 17, 2006)

Ya took the words right out of my mouth. :kiss2:


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## gangstadawg (Jan 18, 2006)

TraciJo67 said:


> gangstadawg, I can't imagine why women aren't just raining from the skies to fall into bed with you.


umm im serious. this is the way alot of detroit females are.


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## Pink (Jan 18, 2006)

Les Toil said:


> Hiya Sandie. What Tracy said was that some of these guys have the attitude that fat women are easy cheap sluts. If their attitude was more about meeting someone for some fun one night hanky-panky, that would be a healthier attitude about two consenting adults. But when the attitude is "Save your money pal, we can easilly get a fat slut", well that mindset pretty much sucks.
> 
> But yeh, if two strangers in the night wanna clash together (no offense CCR) in a big ol' sweaty doink session, that's cool as long as both parties are strapped to the hilt with protection. Personally, a total stranger would have to have gigantic flash cards saying "I'M INTERESTED!!" for me to realize she wants to do the horizontal boogie with moi. I'm too shy and nervous to realize the lipstick writing on the wall was meant for me.



You made me laugh, I would have to depend on flash cards as well.
I am one of those "who me?" people.


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## Jes (Jan 18, 2006)

Pink said:


> You made me laugh, I would have to depend on flash cards as well.
> I am one of those "who me?" people.




I'm one of the ones with the flash cards!

WILL HAVE SEX FOR SEX!


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jan 18, 2006)

Jes said:


> I'm one of the ones with the flash cards!
> 
> WILL HAVE SEX FOR SEX!



Hey baby - "How YOU doin??"


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## Ladyrose1952 (Jan 18, 2006)

*The idea that fat women are easier or more apt to get into bed with a man right away to be used for sexual purposes only is rediculous!*

Any woman with any self-esteem or reguard for her own body would never have anything to do with that man if that was all he was interested in in her.

*The thing is, if we say no, then these men want nothing else to do with us!!!!*

I have had many men proposition me sexually like this and it is degrading, demeaning, not to meantion digusting to me. *Men like this should be ashamed of themselves.*

I am not saying that I dislike sex, that is far from the truth (I have never had any complaints in that department).... but I believe that it is something that should be shared with someone special and not indiscriminantly. 

Some people do play around with sex and their bodies and that is their personal preferance and I don't fault them for it, but we all should have the right to say NO if we wish to without being dismissed completely because we won't.

There are many women that are sencerely looking for true love, marriage and to spend the rest of our lives with a GOOD man, but none of us want to go from man to man to man too be able to find him either. * Prefering to find that one man that wants all of who we are and not just as sexual flings!*


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## olivefun (Jan 18, 2006)

OK, 
Let's say you are a man that wants to play a game of Hide The Salami or something with a woman, and you see two beauties at the bar. One looks like Pamela Anderson and the other one is a fat woman.

It is safe to assume that the Pamela Anderson look-alike has more offers, more men looking for an opening on her dance card than the other woman, no matter what she looks like.

If the second woman is fat, there are clearly fewer men hitting on her, and she may take the offer, no matter how clumsily made, with more consideration. If the objective is to get into bed with someone warm, the chances of being one of a thousand or one of ten is different.

The clever fat woman thinks of herself as a prize, no matter how many men express interest. She assesses each one on his own merit, able to know what she has, not dependant on the men, but on what she knows is true.

This is where a person's self esteem becomes important.

It isn't always like that, or as clear cut, but in simple, general terms I understand where these stereotypes come from. They are based on very broad categories that hardly ever happen so clearly in real life. Life isn't usually a bunch of black and white categories.

I once met a man, I was giving a talk and he was in a prison, who used to target fat women. He would hit on them, they would take them home and he would rob them when they were asleep. He said he did not find fat women attractive at all (used more colorful words here) but found it was way easier to get them to believe him, more gullible, easier to get them to trust him. He found that slimmer women were more skeptical.

It boiled my blood to hear this, but I realised that he had proved a point.


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## gangstadawg (Jan 19, 2006)

olivefun said:


> OK,
> 
> I once met a man, I was giving a talk and he was in a prison, who used to target fat women. He would hit on them, they would take them home and he would rob them when they were asleep. He said he did not find fat women attractive at all (used more colorful words here) but found it was way easier to get them to believe him, more gullible, easier to get them to trust him. He found that slimmer women were more skeptical.
> 
> It boiled my blood to hear this, but I realised that he had proved a point.


well he is in prison. tell him dont drop the soap.


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## Sensualbbwcurves (Mar 29, 2010)

AnnMarie said:


> Any woman with low self-esteem is notoriously easier to get in bed.
> 
> Be it fat, feeling ugly, feeling worthless, feeling unloved, etc.
> 
> ...



 I totally agree 100%


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## Fat.n.sassy (Apr 5, 2010)

moonvine said:


> "are notoriously easy to get in bed."
> 
> How would you respond to this statement?
> 
> I'm trying to have a "discussion" on another board.



When I was young, this was me. In fact, I married a guy when I was 18 because he asked me and I figured I should. (I mean, what were the chances anyone else would ask me?) 

I look back and am so sad for 'that' girl....but I love me now!! Woo Hoo!


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## Samantha (Apr 6, 2010)

i would say, 

Just because thats how your mom rolls doesnt mean thats how I do. 

Of course I take nothing seriously and care none about what people think fat people do.  You wouldnt win much of an argument with my comeback.


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## Forgotten_Futures (Apr 7, 2010)

moonvine said:


> "are notoriously easy to get in bed."
> 
> How would you respond to this statement?
> 
> I'm trying to have a "discussion" on another board.



In or on? Sheets are only so large...


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## spiritangel (Apr 7, 2010)

I think it's an indavidual thing. Definately think if you using sex as a bandaid for low self esteem then it will strip it further away. I think if its two conscenting adults then that is their choice and no one should be condemned for that. For me I have never been able to do the sex for the sake of sex thing. You have to turn on my mind before you get near my body. Sometimes I wish I was wired differently, but also know that if I did the whole sex for the sake of sex thing that my self esteem would drop and I would be unhappy within myself. I think that it's important to know who you are and your own boundaries and limits, not to say that you shouldn't test those boundaries at times but overall I think knowing who you are and being happy within yourself then never let anyone make you feel bad for your choices. (steps off high horse)


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## aussieamazonwoman (Apr 7, 2010)

I'm with fatlane and Hourglass on this one. I think your question could easily read as "women are notoriously easy to get into bed with" and still draw a similar range of responses.

If a woman feels like having easy casual sex, whether she is large, small, or anything else then she will be easy to get into bed.

Sometimes I think this perception of fat girls being "easy" (which I've heard expressed before) comes from men with a low self esteem who come across a big girl (no pun intended) with a low self esteem and they both think this is *all they can get*. 

Personally, I think casual sex comes down to individual choice and can be all good if that is what people want. When people have casual sex because they feel inadequate in some way (rather than - "ooh that person is cute and I am feeling deliciously naughty why not?"), then they are making a choice which may not be in their best interests. 





moonvine said:


> "are notoriously easy to get in bed."
> 
> How would you respond to this statement?
> 
> I'm trying to have a "discussion" on another board.


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## Your Plump Princess (Apr 7, 2010)

I would have to say, meth-heads are probably easier to score with than fat women. Probably. 




[/Sarcasm]


On a serious note. Women in general can be easy to get in bed. Or, they can be a pain in your dick [literally]. 


I don't think it matters if your fat, thin, ect.


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## Lamia (Apr 10, 2010)

I think it's because people equate fat with low self-esteem. So they feel that a fat woman will be desperate for attention so will let them do whatever. I can kind of understand where some people think of oral as not being sex. I have given oral to men before while fully clothed and not expecting any play for myself, just to service them, and sort of curious about sex. I didn't feel sexy or anything. It was just experimentation. 

I still feel guilty about it so it must be sex right?


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## NoWayOut (Apr 11, 2010)

moonvine said:


> "are notoriously easy to get in bed."
> 
> How would you respond to this statement?
> 
> I'm trying to have a "discussion" on another board.



I find that very hard to believe. If fat women are easy to get into *bed*, then why do I, someone who isn't interested in sex, find it so hard to get a *date?*


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## CastingPearls (Apr 11, 2010)

I was so difficult to maneuver into bed (I first wanted more of a connection than the penile/vaginal one) the lucky man who is now Spouse even assumed I was some kind of prude. Until I decided I was in the right place emotionally and then I showed HIM. Bed--not so much. The couch, kitchen table, bathroom vanity, washing machine, a slipper chair, a wall...his image of me as a puritan maiden was shattered.

I agree with everyone who said it's a self-esteem issue. But I have a lot of fat female friends with esteem and body-image issues who are NOT easy lays. I think people who believe the myth assume 'they'll eat anything, so they'll screw anything" I know I personally popped quite a few myth bubbles. (I'm also surprisingly limber).


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## calauria (Apr 11, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> I was so difficult to maneuver into bed (I first wanted more of a connection than the penile/vaginal one) the lucky man who is now Spouse even assumed I was some kind of prude. Until I decided I was in the right place emotionally and then I showed HIM. Bed--not so much. The couch, kitchen table, bathroom vanity, washing machine, a slipper chair, a wall...his image of me as a puritan maiden was shattered.
> 
> I agree with everyone who said it's a self-esteem issue. But I have a lot of fat female friends with esteem and body-image issues who are NOT easy lays. I think people who believe the myth assume 'they'll eat anything, so they'll screw anything" I know I personally popped quite a few myth bubbles. (I'm also surprisingly limber).



Yeah, I agree with what you said. People who have low self-esteem do not behave them same. A lot of people with low self-esteem live almost a perfect life, with no scandalous behavior. It depends on the person and what their reasons are for why they do what they do.


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## fatlane (Apr 13, 2010)

I like to take naps, so I'm REAL easy to get into bed, but even easier to get into a couch...


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## joswitch (Apr 13, 2010)

moonvine said:


> "are notoriously easy to get in bed."
> 
> How would you respond to this statement?
> 
> I'm trying to have a "discussion" on another board.



Oh, no they're not! 
From my experience I'd say it's slightly harder to get BBWs in bed, cos thin girls hit on me, while fat girls don't and (comparatively and generally) it's harder to make eye contact with the BBW in the bar/club cos she's looking at the floor or fiddling with her phone... cos she assumes no-one's hot for her... :sad times:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 13, 2010)

joswitch said:


> Oh, no they're not!
> From my experience I'd say it's slightly harder to get BBWs in bed, cos thin girls hit on me, while fat girls don't and (comparatively and generally) it's harder to make eye contact with the BBW in the bar/club cos she's looking at the floor or fiddling with her phone... cos she assumes no-one's hot for her... :sad times:




Just pull your peen out and show it to the next BBW you meet.....I'm sure that will help because you will leave NO doubts about what it is you want.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 13, 2010)

joswitch said:


> Oh, no they're not!
> From my experience I'd say it's slightly harder to get BBWs in bed, cos thin girls hit on me, while fat girls don't and (comparatively and generally) it's harder to make eye contact with the BBW in the bar/club cos she's looking at the floor or fiddling with her phone... cos she assumes no-one's hot for her... :sad times:


That's quite sad about the girls at the bar/pubs. When I went clubbing I made direct eye-contact. Always. But then again, I've always been a very direct woman. But I still wasn't an easy lay.


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## mollywogger (Apr 13, 2010)

i just had an experience last night.. in a chat room.

i rejected someone and they said

"fat girls being fussy. wtf like you can afford to be fussy you fat cow"


ah.. good times


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## LovelyLiz (Apr 13, 2010)

mollywogger said:


> i just had an experience last night.. in a chat room.
> 
> i rejected someone and they said
> 
> ...



Sorry that happened to you, Molly. That guy was clearly a douche. (And I was recently called a "bovine hag" by a troll online that I didn't agree to cater to...maybe they're brothers?) 

That stuff can still sting, even when we know it's totally their issue and not about us at all. I just want to encourage you not to let any of that crap in - you are a valuable woman and deserve to be treated with care and respect!


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## CastingPearls (Apr 13, 2010)

mollywogger said:


> i just had an experience last night.. in a chat room.
> 
> i rejected someone and they said
> 
> ...


You must have struck a chord. Throw a rock at a bunch of snarling dogs and the one that barks the loudest is the one that got hit.


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## Weeze (Apr 13, 2010)

holyshit necropost


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## KittyKitten (Apr 13, 2010)

moonvine said:


> "are notoriously easy to get in bed."
> 
> How would you respond to this statement?
> 
> I'm trying to have a "discussion" on another board.



Nope! Lots of flat chested "skinny" females are quick to spread open their legs. It has nothing to do with size and all to do with the way a female feels about herself. In fact, that's the first time I've heard of such a thing.


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## KittyKitten (Apr 13, 2010)

I find men to be very easy....


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## KittyKitten (Apr 13, 2010)

mollywogger said:


> i just had an experience last night.. in a chat room.
> 
> i rejected someone and they said
> 
> ...



Dang. His weak ego got hurt. Too many 'men' are walking around this earth thinking they are God's gift and get smacked when faced with reality. Lots of weak minded 'men' out there. 

He badly wanted you, obviously he was attracted, now you become a fat cow to him because his ego is broken. Sad nutjob.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 13, 2010)

happyface83 said:


> I find men to be very easy....


I think that is what one might refer to as a 'universal truth' LOL


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## joswitch (Apr 14, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Just pull your peen out and show it to the next BBW you meet.....I'm sure that will help because you will leave NO doubts about what it is you want.



Call me old fashioned, but I like a little conversation first...


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## t3h_n00b (Apr 15, 2010)

:shrugs:
Only an ugly dude with no conversation skills would say that.


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## MisticalMisty (Apr 15, 2010)

Lmfao..I love that we are bringing all these old topics up again!

I was like....Moonvine is posting? I haven't seen her post in ages!


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## Tooz (Apr 15, 2010)

I am notoriously easy to get into bed if I'm feelin' you


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## fatgirlflyin (Apr 16, 2010)

Doesn't necessarily have anything to do with how the woman feels about herself. Sometimes women have sex because they simply enjoy having sex. 



happyface83 said:


> Nope! Lots of flat chested "skinny" females are quick to spread open their legs. It has nothing to do with size and all to do with the way a female feels about herself. In fact, that's the first time I've heard of such a thing.


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## KittyKitten (Apr 16, 2010)

fatgirlflyin said:


> Doesn't necessarily have anything to do with how the woman feels about herself. Sometimes women have sex because they simply enjoy having sex.



Many people on this site have basically said the same thing I wrote, but you choose to focus on me for some reason. I don't know why. 

It has a lot to do with how she feels about herself. If she has low self esteem, many times she is quick to open her legs to the guy who expresses interest in her. 

Patricia Krenwinkel was told that she was ugly and hairy all her life and Manson was quick to call her 'beautiful'. See how fast she jumped into bed with him-the first night he met her. Her self esteem was to the ground, so low that she would give it up to anyone that charmed her. 

Of course,there are a few woman who just like having sex for the sake of it, but we know that is not true in most cases. Many of these low self esteem having women have sex with the man very fast and they end up disappointed when he sees her as an easy lay. We can't be as to so dull that we don't see this happening. It happens over and over again! Let's be real here. 

Being quick to give it up is nothing to be proud of.


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## Tooz (Apr 16, 2010)

happyface83 said:


> there are a few woman who just like having sex for the sake of it, but we know that is not true in most cases.



Uhm, okay then dear


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## Blackjack (Apr 16, 2010)

happyface83 said:


> Of course,there are a few woman who just like having sex for the sake of it, but we know that is not true in most cases.



Not that sex feels good or anything.


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## BeautifulBigD (Apr 16, 2010)

My step-mom used to tell me all the time, "men think fat women are easy". Every time a guy showed an interest in me, she assumed it was because of this reason; that he was just using me.....I guess it never occurred to her that I could be using him. 

Like some of the posts I've read, I believe it depends on the individual. I think physical appearance has very little to do with it. I believe a lot of it has to do with how one views themselves. Then again, sometimes you just want to get laid. And if two consenting adults can come together and agree that's all it is, then good. Get yours (safely).


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## t3h_n00b (Apr 17, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Just pull your peen out and show it to the next BBW you meet.....I'm sure that will help because you will leave NO doubts about what it is you want.




Hehe Beavis, she said peen. Hehe heh heh peen.


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## joswitch (Apr 17, 2010)

fatgirlflyin said:


> Doesn't necessarily have anything to do with how the woman feels about herself. Sometimes women have sex because they simply enjoy having sex.



And I <3 those women! :smitten:


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## fatlane (Apr 17, 2010)

So, I guess the consensus is that human sexuality is a complicated beast.

Not that this is an ad for complicatedbeast.com and I don't want to know if such a site really exists.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 18, 2010)

joswitch said:


> And I <3 those women! :smitten:



You showed them the goods, didn't you?


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