# Strange Yet Wonderfull



## BigElectricKat (Sep 14, 2020)

Something strange yet wonderful happened to me recently and I’m still trying to come to grips with it. I know I shouldn’t question it but this type of thing doesn’t happen to me (at least not these days).

Over the past couple of months, I noticed a young woman riding the Metro to work in the mornings. She’s fairly tall, maybe 5’9” or 5’10”, with strawberry blondish hair and lot’s of freckles. I would guestimate she’s in the 260-275 range. She nicely proportioned all over but tends toward the pear shape I would say. No matter what size she would be, she is drop-dead gorgeous, with light green eyes that sometime seem more golden in the sunlight.

Anyway, she must have started here a few months ago. I would have spotted her the first day but due to covid, I no longer get to instruct in the new hire orientation (they are virtual and I’m not invited apparently).

So, one morning I get off the train and due to construction on the platform, foot traffic gets funneled into a single file line going up the stair to the street. I just happen to end up behind this young woman (I found out much later her name is Hannah) going up the stairs.

Now, far be it from me to lie and say I wasn’t looking at her rear, because I was. I figured her for a nurse because she was wearing scrubs. And as anyone in healthcare knows, scrubs are rather unflattering to the average figure. But her bottom looked soooooo good in them, I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. When we got to the top of the stairs, I was doubly blessed because we were walking in the same direction. In fact, I was so mesmerized that I almost walked past my building’s front door.

Over the ensuing weeks, I would see her sometimes in the morning or maybe pass by her in the halls a couple of times. And then one morning, I got to the top of the stairs and she was waiting on me! She said she noticed my hat (Public Safety) and wondered if I could point her in the direction of a class she was attending that day. Lucky me! Her class was in my building!!! I took the time to escort her up to where her classroom was and let her know where my office was if she had any other questions.

The next day, I received a call from one of the clerks in the outer office that I had a visitor. When I opened the door, there Hannah stood. I think the joy in my eyes (I was wearing a mask after all) must have given me away because her eyes lit up when she saw me. She wanted to know if there were some good places to eat besides the hospital cafeterias. I told her that I’d be glad to show her where the Starbucks and Chick-fil-A were nearby.

As we walked over, we made small talk: what do you do, where are you from, etc. Once we got to where the eateries were, I went to leave her to her lunch but she asked if I could eat with her. No problem I thought. And this way, I could see her full face, not that it mattered. We ordered and found a place to sit outside. I liked that she had a healthy appetite and didn’t try to be all coy when she ate.

We were just talking about experiences and such while eating and then Hannah whispered, “Do you like big gals?” I nearly choked on my Cherry Coke! “What?!?!” She reiterated, “Are you into fat women?” I had to be truthful with her and told her that I love women. Period. Then she asked again, “But are you exclusively into fat girls?” I said no and asked why. She said that she’s noticed me checking her out several times on the train or walking on the street and wanted to know if it was a “fat girl thing”.

I laughed out loud. So loud that other people looked over to see what was up. But she was serious and didn’t really crack a smile. So I had to level with her. I said these exact words, “Honestly, you are just so fucking beautiful (excuse my French) that I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you. That you are bigger and more bodacious than most is just icing on the cake.” She was silent for what seemed like an eternity and then said, “Good. Been there, done that. Not doing it again.” Playing dumb I asked her what she meant. She said she had dated a few guys who stated that they like fat girls and found that the experiences weren’t as pleasant as she hoped.

After we finished eating, we walked back over to my building. While waiting for the elevator, she asked if we could get lunch again next week. I quickly agreed. I’m hoping she calls or comes by soon.

But I don’t know. There’s a pretty large age gap between us and I am not in the market for a fling. Though she is very mature and worldly, I wonder what her intentions are. Yes, it would be nice to have someone to date, a companion. I’m just not sure how this may go.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 14, 2020)

Time will tell BEK. See where it leads....
Happy for you


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## Dr. Feelgood (Sep 14, 2020)

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you both.


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## BigElectricKat (Sep 15, 2020)

When I came into work this morning, there was a really sweet voicemail on my phone from her. It seems they've switched Hannah's shift, changing her hours for the time being (no wonder I haven't seen her on the train the last few days). But she would like it if I stop by her floor sometime and, barring an emergency, grab lunch together as well. Lucky for me, I don't have constraints on when I take my breaks AND I am one of the few people who can go anywhere on the hospital campus! Think I'll stop by today!


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## BigElectricKat (Sep 15, 2020)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Time will tell BEK. See where it leads....
> Happy for you


It's been quite a while since anybody was interested in the Ol' Sarge. I'm trying not to get overly excited about it but I confess, it's brought a pep in my step!


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## Lightning Man (Sep 15, 2020)

I'm going to file away how you responded to her question, BEK, for if I'm ever back on the market. I do have appreciation for women of many sizes, although larger is clearly my preference, and I am getting the feeling that guys who say they're into fat women come off creepy. Good luck to you.


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## Tad (Sep 15, 2020)

I had the biggest grin reading all of this. You are so due a bit of joy in your life!

Wishing you two the best of luck, whether that ends up being lunch companions, a new friend, or more.


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## BigElectricKat (Sep 15, 2020)

Hannah and I had an interesting conversation while she was on a break today. When I went up to her floor, I kinda milled around in the elevator lobby, hoping for her to come by the nurses station. I was there for about two minutes when another nurse came up to me and asked if I was waiting for Hannah. I said that I was and she directed me to the nurses break room on the floor.

When I walked through the door, Hannah was eating a very tasty looking pastrami sandwich. She smiled that heart-fluttering smile of hers and asked me to sit down. She was sorry that we couldn’t go to lunch and that she was just getting a quick bite because her floor was so busy. She offered me half of her sandwich, which I declined. She asked if I wanted to fatten her up; if I was a feeder. I assured her that I was not.

We talked about favorite foods for a few minutes which led to me talking about Germany. She became highly interested in that. Turns out, some of her mother's family is from Germany and she really wants to go visit someday soon. Then we just went off on a tangent about German food and bier (yes I said bier!) and even a little about those wonderful white wines. She asked if I liked to drink a lot. I let her know that I bought a six pack of Summer Shandy in early May. I still have two bottles left. She laughed.

Just before her break was up, she asked me point blank, “What attracted you to me? Be honest!” Of course, I have no other way to be if you want a relationship to start off right. I told her it was the way she walked. She walks very confidently IMO. She laughed at that too. I asked what was funny and she said that she felt confidence coming from me as well! I had to chuckle at that myself as I haven’t felt very confident for quite a long time.

She walked me out to the elevator as I was leaving and wrote her cell phone number on a Post It. She said she gets off at 8 pm and will be home by 9 pm. I guess I’m giving her a call tonight! Things are looking up for the Ol' Sarge!!!!!


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## Lightning Man (Sep 15, 2020)

Please keep us posted. I am enjoying living through you.


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## BigElectricKat (Sep 21, 2020)

Things are coming along!


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## BigElectricKat (Sep 21, 2020)

We've spent at least 2 hours talking on the phone just about every night. I've slowly started to let my guard down and spoke about a couple of my troubles/issues. So far, she's taken everything in stride and even shared some of her dark secrets. 

It's funny. The older I've gotten, the more communicative I've become. It's been nice to talk to someone who is also willing to express themselves and not afraid to open the locked recesses of their mind. It feels as though I've been preparing for this for a couple of years now. Having someone be receptive has been quite refreshing.

Lunch tomorrow and then another lunch date on Saturday. I get to introduce her to Korean food!!!!


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## BigElectricKat (Sep 22, 2020)

So, lunch was enlightening today. Last night, I reiterated to Hannah that I worried our age difference would be a deal breaker for her at some point. Even though she's older than I first guessed (40) I still thought it would be a tough sell (I turned 57 on Saturday). As we ate lunch today, she casually let me know that she digs that I'm older but that she doesn't have "daddy issues". This time we both laughed. I was thankful for that. She said if things go well, I will have a nurse to take care of me 20 years from now! I let her know that 20 years from now I may not be able to run as fast anymore but I'll still take care of *all *her needs. Her response was, "Promise?"

Yeah, things are really falling into place.


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## Funtastic curves (Sep 22, 2020)

Thats wonderful! 

Happy early Birthday


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## BigElectricKat (Sep 22, 2020)

Funtastic curves said:


> Thats wonderful!
> 
> Happy early Birthday


Thank you. Best birthday in a long time.


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## Tad (Sep 23, 2020)

I'm glad it was a good birthday! May this next trip around the sun be a wonderful one


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## BigElectricKat (Sep 25, 2020)

I am so excited for tomorrow. I can hardly contain myself!!!!!!!!! There is a little Korean restaurant out by the Air Force base near where I live. They are only doing take-out orders at the moment but...
The owner is a guy I served with for a couple years. He and his wife, their son, and mother-in-law run the place. I asked him if we sit in a back booth where no one can see us, if we can eat in the restaurant. Her first time tasting Korean food (bulgogi, kimchee, yaki mandu) I want it to be fresh.


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## Still a Skye fan (Sep 25, 2020)

Congrats on making a connection with someone who seems to be a very lovely, sweet and intelligent young woman. I wish you all the best, sir, and I hope your budding relationship works for the both of you.


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## BigElectricKat (Sep 28, 2020)

Wow! This weekend was quite revealing. Our lunch date turned into an all day thing. It began meeting at the restaurant. Hannah had never had Korean food so I was eager to get her reactions to the different tastes, textures, and flavors. I ordered twin meal of bulgogi, kimchi, and a 12-piece yaki mandu (with two helpings of sauce). We went to go sit in a booth in the back and before we sat down, Hannah said, "Can you kiss me now?" I was stunned! Granted, it was something I've been wanting to do but I wasn't pushing for it just yet. Her reasoning was something I've adopted since my teen years. "We kiss now at the beginning, before we eat. If the kiss is good, great! If not, well, maybe this is our first and last date." I was all at once shocked and aroused by her boldness. But she was right; nothing worse than a bad kisser so I had to get my A-Game on! Needless to say, there were probably 100 more such kisses before the date was over.

It's not that often that you meet someone that you have instant chemistry with. Most first dates (real dates) are usually awkward as you both try to find a common ground in which you can converse. Often, difficulties arise when you want to be engaging but not reveal too much in those early meetings. But because of Hannah's openness and my desire to gauge how serious she was, we aired out a bunch of "dirty laundry". Trust came easier than I would have expected at this point but she did something that made me feel quite at ease. She kept rubbing my free hand every chance she got.

We sat there for two hours talking and went through another order of yaki mandu which we ended up feeding each other. Then I took her over to the air park and explained all the different aircraft. And then we went to another park and walked around for a while, just talking. In the second park, she started holding my hand. I am over the moon!


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## BigElectricKat (Oct 2, 2020)

Sometimes bad things happen to us that turn out to be good things in disguise.


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## BigElectricKat (Oct 5, 2020)

Saturday was such a nice day out so Hannah and i spent a couple of hours out at a local park, walking and talking. I hadn't realized how much I missed just holding hands with someone. She has the prettiest, softest hands I could ask for! I love that she takes good care of them.

There was a point in time where we came upon a bench near the pond and just sat down an enjoyed the view. We started talking about our individual pasts again and this time she let it all out. I was angered and shocked! Angered at what a couple of these so-called FA's/Feeders had done to her in the name of "love". Some of the sick, humiliating, and degrading stuff you see on porn sites: things that most of us would deride as abuse! And I get it; some people find that sort of thing erotic and arousing and t's cool if both parties are consenting to it. It's another thing when someone expresses their dislike of these types of activities.

It turns out that Hannah got involved with two different guys who were into this type of fetish. The second guy was really, really bad; on the order of it becoming torture. It's the main reason why she moved here in the first place: to get away from that jackass. I was shocked that she'd endured such abuse for so long but like all of us at some point, we think things will get better or it's not so bad, or he/she loves me or I'll get used to it. But she didn't. It just got worse as he kept pushing her limits of pain and humiliation. 

I got so angry as she was relating the story, the details of which I will omit, that tears welled up in my eyes. I had been hugging her almost the whole time but when we broke the embrace for a moment, she noticed I was crying. That's when I had to reveal a dark, sad part of my past to her. A couple of you here know this but the general membership do not. When I was a boy, my mother had a really abusive boyfriend. When they would start fighting, my little brother would leave and go walking around the neighborhood for a couple of hours. I guess he didn't want to hear what was going on. I would stay to make sure my mother was alright. Once, their fight spilled out into the hall and my mother was screaming for me to help her. I tried. I started hitting him with a curtain rod but to no effect. I was so small and skinny at 10 years old. I vowed that I was going to get that guy when I grew up. Those images remain ingrained in my mind to this day. 

When I became a older, I got into sports: football, track, baseball, basketball, karate. Later as an adult, I took up fitness training. Those images never left me. I became a bouncer in my spare time (I had joined the Air Force at 19) and witnessed plenty of male on female abusive situations. In my 20's and 30's, if I saw a man strike a woman, I would fly into a rage; most times I would win, sometimes not but they knew not to do that crap around me. EVER. 

Anyway, I let Hannah know that I am not that kind of guy. That I abhor violent behavior towards women (and children, and anyone else that doesn't deserve it). I can't stand it and won't tolerate it in my presence. 

When we were both done boohooing on each others' shoulders, Hannah spoke profound words that I think will remain with me until I die and solidified my belief that things happen for a reason. She whispered in my ear, "God must have sent me to you."


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## BigElectricKat (Oct 6, 2020)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Time will tell BEK. See where it leads....
> Happy for you


I'm very glad I took your advice!


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## Dayeme35 (Oct 7, 2020)

I'm happy when others find happiness. I pray this continues to grow with more joy and more interesting adventures.


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## BigElectricKat (Oct 12, 2020)

Well, this weekend yielded some interesting results in this ongoing saga. I will start by emphasizing the need for couples, new partners, and everything in between to maintain open lines of communication. It is imperative that each person foster a culture of openness, honesty, and transparency. Otherwise, missteps can/will be made, and things can end before they really have a chance to blossom.

On Sunday, we agreed on walking in another park (I guess this is our thing now). I made us a light lunch of sandwiches and chips. The weather was unseasonably warm but still nice. I noticed after we left the car that Hannah’s hand kept grazing mine as we started our tour of the park. I guessed that she wanted to hold my hand. I didn’t want to assume this right off but in hindsight, I feel she enjoys this more than anyone I’ve ever been with. I haven’t yet asked but I think it’s because I make such a big deal about how lovely and soft her hands are.

As has become customary when we spend time alone, we kiss a great deal. It’s obvious that she likes my kisses and I hers. Kissing, I feel, is probably the most intimate act two people can engage in. It involves a complete “letting go” of your inhibitions (even if it’s just momentary) to open your mouth and accept another’s upon yours. Yes, sexual intercourse is very intimate, but the exchange that comes with kissing can get you lost in the moment.

Even though we do a great deal of kissing, it is not to make overt public displays of affection. We aren’t like, “Hey, people! Look at us!” It may just be in response to a question or answer or a look or a caress. I love that we are both in tune with this little activity and there was no prompting from either of us. The park we were in was somewhat busy with people, families, children. But there are so many different paths you can take, and the park is big enough that we found ourselves alone much of the time. I noticed that she likes to squeeze, caress, and pat my bottom an awful lot!

As afternoon turned to evening, we finally packed up and headed home. Once we got to Hannah’s place (that she shares with a roommate), I parked the car and we got out to talk some more and kiss goodnight. I think Hannah enjoys that she’s been able to share very intimate and intense details of her life, without me getting spooked or becoming judgmental or treating her differently. As I got in my car and started to back out of the parking spot, she came over and leaned in my window and said, “So, when are you planning on coming to bed with me?”

Now, the animal in me (and there is an animal in all of us) wanted to jump out of the car while it was running and take her in the bushes right then and there! But the gentleman in me had to remain calm, cool, and collected. I said, “Whenever you invite me.” She stared at me for a minute as I smiled at her. Then she gave me a peck on the cheek and whispered in my ear, “Stay tuned.” I am definitely staying tuned!


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## Barrett (Oct 12, 2020)

Damn, Sarge. You're creating a lot of dust with these posts. BRB, something in my eye.


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## Broseph (Oct 12, 2020)

Wow, BEK, thanks for sharing your adventures man. I've enjoyed jumping in here and reading about the latest developments. Glad your finding happiness with a special lady!


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## BigElectricKat (Oct 12, 2020)

Broseph said:


> Wow, BEK, thanks for sharing your adventures man. I've enjoyed jumping in here and reading about the latest developments. Glad your finding happiness with a special lady!


Yeah, me too! I was beginning to despair for a while there.


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## Tad (Oct 13, 2020)

Good response to her question -- not easy to have such a perfect response on the spot.


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## BigElectricKat (Oct 13, 2020)

Tad said:


> Good response to her question -- not easy to have such a perfect response on the spot.


You better believe it! My mouth was watering at the thought!

She called me a yesterday and remarked that it made her curious that I didn't just jump her bones (old school saying) right then and there. I thought to myself that my Jedi mind trick is working!


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## GeeseHoward (Oct 13, 2020)

BigElectricKat said:


> You better believe it! My mouth was watering at the thought!
> 
> She called me a yesterday and remarked that it made her curious that I didn't just jump her bones (old school saying) right then and there. I thought to myself that my Jedi mind trick is working!



I'm glad to hear that you've had a hell of an amount of luck BEK. I hope it all works out for you...


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## BigElectricKat (Oct 13, 2020)

GeeseHoward said:


> I'm glad to hear that you've had a hell of an amount of luck BEK. I hope it all works out for you...


Yes. So far so good @GeeseHoward


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## Tad (Oct 13, 2020)

BigElectricKat said:


> You better believe it! My mouth was watering at the thought!
> 
> She called me a yesterday and remarked that it made her curious that I didn't just jump her bones (old school saying) right then and there. I thought to myself that my Jedi mind trick is working!



This was long ago and in younger days, but I made my wife take things slow when we were dating, and I've never regretted it. Having time to savour kisses and touches, then adding a bit more and making the most of it, and then a bit more, and so on. I think it makes you both become very aware of various types and degrees of intimacy.


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## BigElectricKat (Oct 13, 2020)

I agree @Tad


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## Still a Skye fan (Oct 14, 2020)

I'm so pleased that things are going so well with you and your new lady. Your posts put a smile on my face. My best to you both, sir!


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## littlefairywren (Oct 15, 2020)

This has become one of my favourite threads, BEK. It makes me cry happy tears.


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## lizzie_lotr (Oct 16, 2020)

BigElectricKat said:


> You better believe it! My mouth was watering at the thought!
> 
> She called me a yesterday and remarked that it made her curious that I didn't just jump her bones (old school saying) right then and there. I thought to myself that my Jedi mind trick is working!


I love reading your posts. So sweet and genuine. I wish you nothing but the best!!


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## BigElectricKat (Oct 16, 2020)

Hannah and I have had some pretty interesting conversations this week. Our schedules were such that we've only had time to grab lunch on a couple of days. But she's free this weekend and I only have baby sitting duty on Saturday morning. She says she wants to do some cooking on Saturday evening, so I'm looking forward to that. 

We've spent quite a few hours talking on the phone. I love that that she enjoys talking to me about anything. I hope that carries over into other facets of our relationship  . I'm thinking this might be a particularly enjoyable weekend. She asked me what my favorite scents are. Oddly enough, they are: vanilla, cherry, almond, and coconut.  Is there a pattern there? I let her know that if she were to wear a particular vanilla scent, I cannot be held responsible for the overwhelming amount of cuddles, kisses, hugs, licks, nibbles, (and other things) that would probably ensue. She hit me with the "Oh really?" I assured her that this was true to which she replied, "Alright then, Tarzan. It's on!"

Could the Ol' Sarge be swinging from a vine this weekend? Only time will tell!


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## Sonic Purity (Oct 19, 2020)

Please know that sharing your (plural) love story here gives hope to at least some of us (raises hand) who may be struggling deeply. (Please let Hannah know this as well, if appropriate.)

Very Best Wishes to you both, individually and together, however things go.
Gratitude for your posting!


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## BigElectricKat (Oct 20, 2020)

This past weekend was topsy-turvy for sure.

First of all, my not-so-understanding daughter came in later than she promised on Saturday, which made me late for my date with Hannah. She even tried to pull a fast one on me. When she came in the house, she immediately jumped in the shower. So I had to wait until she was finished before I could leave as I didn't want to leave the little guy all by himself. When she gets out, she starts talking about how she was supposed to work a double and that she only came home to get a quick shower. But by the time she finished her story, I had walked out the door. She called me as I drove away telling me she had to go back to work but I called BS! She was just trying to hurry so she could go out with her friends or boyfriend or whomever. She knew I had things to do, places to go and a cute, cuddly nurse to see. Of course I got cursed out (again). 

Hannah understood and really had a nice meal waiting for me: Veal Parmesan, bacon wrapped asparagus, garlic parmesan Yukon Gold potatoes, and she baked and apple pie! Not only was the food very tasty, I love watching her enjoy her food. We've talked enough and let out many secrets over the last few weeks and she understands my fixation with watching her eat. Not for her to gain, but how she savors the tastes and textures of food. I think my revealing this secret made her take greater pleasure in dining. After dinner, we sat on the couch and nearly devoured the whole apple pie. It's wonderful to finally be with someone who doesn't feel I need to curtail my sweets intake.

While we were talking, I felt the need to reveal to her my membership on this site. I felt that it might cause some friction the longer I waited and like I've said before, I needed to be as honest and transparent as possible. At first she was slightly upset. She felt I had lied about it not being a "fat girl thing". But once I clearly explained the situation, she calmed down a bit. I even let her read this very thread hoping that she wouldn't once again be mad. It turns out that she was rather flattered with all that I've written to date. She even noted that I had not gotten graphic or overly descriptive and maintained her anonymity.

I explained to her that the last 8-10 years of my marriage were not overly exciting and that after the divorce, I was just sad and alone and really wanting to give up the ghost so to speak. I found a measure of solace in being on Dims and interacting with everyone here. It made me hopeful for the future even though I knew I was far from "a catch" in anyone's eyes. But certain aspects of my life did begin to improve. I started writing again. I began to tap into my own wisdom and experience in an effort to help others. It made me feel useful, especially when I was asked to become a Mod. I think she understood where I was coming from. I've encouraged her to join as well.

After I led her to one of my short stories here _(The Nightside_), she read it with a quiet fascination. When she was finished, I could tell there was something different about her. Her visage softened and she was no longer skeptical of my motives (apparently). She asked me if I noticed that she was wearing Vanilla Fields from Victoria's Secret. I said that I did and it was taking nearly all of my resolve not to turn into a ravenous Big Kat right then and there. When she said, "Don't hold back on my account", it was on!


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## Tad (Oct 20, 2020)

Another hurdle cleared. Good for the two of you. (and speaking of the two of you, hello Hannah! Please do look around, I think you'll find the site to be pretty wholesome by internet standards)


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## mathfa (Oct 22, 2020)

Very happy for you, BEK!

And Hannah, I think you'll find we're all a pretty tame bunch on this site. If BEK is anything in real life like what he is on these boards, count yourself lucky


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## BigElectricKat (Oct 23, 2020)

Hannah and I have found more than a few common interests over these past weeks, but it seemed as though this Dimensions thing might be a deal breaker for her. Yes, I know it’s rather trivial in the grand scheme of things, but it meant something to her, which in turn means something to me. She had a difficult time understanding why I wanted to keep being part of this amazing community, but I told her that I would not continue visiting Dims if she really felt it would strain our relationship.

In the spirit of transparency, I took her through most of my posts and PM’s. I told her that I have been somewhat flirty with a few members but nothing serious (which anyone who’s messaged me will attest to). As a general rule I think just about anybody here will tell her that I’m usually a gentleman and the flirts are just a way to get someone to smile. Much of that she understood because she gets it from me all the time.

But there’s something about Dims and me that she finally understands. Before I found Dimensions, and even after those first few months, I had contemplated taking my own life. I was really in a bad way and over the preceding months, I suppose my PTSD had resurfaced and gotten the better of me. Finding Dims had given me not only an escape, but also a purpose. On any given day, I could come here and find someone who needed cheering up, advice, or just the benefit of my experiences in life (at least that’s how I perceived it). As a result, Dims helped to keep me grounded and moving forward instead of wallowing in self-pity and loneliness.

As it turns out, Hannah went trough a similar period in her life after her last two relationships. Guys who she thought were into her were only into her as much as they could control and abuse her. Through this wonderful, open communication that we’ve built, we found out that we both were going through this sad and depressing period at roughly the same time! Though we’ve both come out the other side, we both wished aloud that we’d found each other back then.

For my part, Dims helped me through a dark time and after my grandson was born, I knew I had to hang on for him as the most stable and responsible one in the family. His grandmother (my ex-wife) had moved away and my daughter is a piece of work. Hannah credits her family and a change of scenery for helping her get through what I assume was feeling like hell. In both instances I’m very happy to have this time with her and judging from the awesome meals, smiles, hugs, kisses, and other stuff  , she is as well.

I want to thank all of the members who've been encouraging and excited about this new chapter in our lives!


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## Sonic Purity (Oct 24, 2020)

BigElectricKat said:


> Before I found Dimensions, and even after those first few months, I had contemplated taking my own life. I was really in a bad way and over the preceding months, I suppose my PTSD had resurfaced and gotten the better of me. Finding Dims had given me not only an escape, but also a purpose.



A purpose in life is _critical_—one felt/lived by the individual, not what anyone else thinks their purpose is or should be. Imagine flailing for a purpose for 25 years, and you’ll begin to understand my reality. Society Does Not Need nor Want me.

Totally relate to the suicidal ideation. That was my fallback plan until my 2018 very real within hours of death experience (right around this time of year; mere days from now) forced me to realize i had a very strong drive to remain alive, at least until i could get some of my stories released. Now that that’s happened and the response is close to no response at all for the one thing i’ve dedicated the last decade of my life doing with passion and motivation, there’s *really* no purpose for my existence in living human form.

Delighted and relieved that you found your way through the thicket, to the present and your current path! Words of an online-only acquaintance can come across hollow or meaningless, yet that’s all i have: i am filled with gratitude to know you in this context of Dimensions. To me you have been and are one of several major pillars of this community. I find what you write here thoughtful, informative, entertaining, and/or illuminating.

I’d ask Hannah to give you a deep hug on my behalf, but besides that being asking her to perform emotional labor on my part with no reasonable compensation, it may be projecting what i need onto you. Instead i am waving, and continuing to wish you both as a couple and as individuals the Very Best as life rolls onward.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 24, 2020)

Jeez, she cooks all that good food? I may steal her from you! 
And yeah, I know how those grown kids try to do. Good on you for not putting up with it. You're entitled to a piece of happiness in your own life, too. Especially since you already raised your own kids.


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## stampy (Oct 26, 2020)

This is such a wholesome thread!!! I think we are all cheering you on BEK!!!


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## BigElectricKat (Oct 26, 2020)

Sonic Purity said:


> A purpose in life is _critical_—one felt/lived by the individual, not what anyone else thinks their purpose is or should be. Imagine flailing for a purpose for 25 years, and you’ll begin to understand my reality. Society Does Not Need nor Want me.
> 
> Totally relate to the suicidal ideation. That was my fallback plan until my 2018 very real within hours of death experience (right around this time of year; mere days from now) forced me to realize i had a very strong drive to remain alive, at least until i could get some of my stories released. Now that that’s happened and the response is close to no response at all for the one thing i’ve dedicated the last decade of my life doing with passion and motivation, there’s *really* no purpose for my existence in living human form.
> 
> ...


I think I speak for everyone here on Dims when I say that we are glad you came to the realization that being a live is better. Your insightful, compassionate, and erudite responses to many seeking here seeking guidance or advice here, are top notch!


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## BigElectricKat (Oct 26, 2020)

Hannah sent me a message that I must come see her at lunch today. Our usual weekend rendezvous was very nice as usual. She made a big pot of stew and we watched movies until the wee hours. She has this big couch that we can both fit on comfortably and I have to say, I am really liking it when she lays back on me. I love supporting her weight and I think she likes it too. Apparently, she also likes it when I whisper little comments in here ear like, “Your hair smells great” or “This feels so nice”.

I’ve always stressed the importance of communicating with Hannah since day one. She’s generally very good with letting me know how she feels or what she thinks about something. But I guess she was holding something in for the right time this weekend. At lunch today, she greeted me like always and lunch went along nicely. She even brought me a slice of apple pie!

When we were done with lunch, she offered to ride down the elevator with me, which she normally doesn’t do. In the elevator she just started thanking me for treating her so well. She really lost sight of herself for a while and felt defined by how others had treated her: like a “thing” or “piece of trash” (her words not mine). She remarked how amazing it is to be treated with such compassion and understanding. She also found it strangely sweet that a man such as myself, somewhat gruff and sorta kinda tough, could be so gentle with her. She started tearing up which made me do the same. We had to play it off several times as people got on/off the elevator!

Now, I’m not tooting my own horn or anything. I have her blessing to post this and anything that is not a detailed intimate moment. She came out and told me she was a bit miffed about my association with Dims but has since softened on the whole thing. While she’s not ready to join up, she is perusing the site every now and again and checking on me. And we get on together when I’m at her house. So, it’s all good! And she’s been encouraged by all the well wishes and warm welcomes. I’ll keep working on her.


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## Tad (Oct 27, 2020)

Dimensions doesn't ever have to be her 'thing', since people are all different in how they like to socialize, including form, place, who, etc, and this sort of interaction just may not be her thing. But I'm glad that you two are working out the friction around it. There are bound to be other differences that come up to work through, it is a good sign that you are dealing well with this one so far.


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## BigElectricKat (Nov 4, 2020)

Have you ever had a good day turn bad and then good again? That’s what happened to me on Sunday. My daughter had gone out and asked if I could watch the little guy for a few hours. Generally, that means all day in her eyes, as though I have nothing important going on in my life. But as I enjoy spending time with him, I said yes.

About an hour later, Hannah called and asked if we could spend some of the day together. Of course, I was only happy to have some time with her, but I told her that I was on babysitting duty. She offered to come over and help (this gal is an angel!). Since I knew my daughter would be gone quite a while, I invited her over.

She came over and we played with Jami (short for Jamisen) for a couple hours, stealing kisses from each other during portions of Sesame Street, Baby Shark, and snack time. Around 3:00 pm I thought it would be nice to take him down to the elementary school down the hill so he could run around and tucker himself out. I have to say, that was the best idea I’ve had in years! He likes to run around on the track and we took turns chasing after him. After a while, Hannah noticed that I was letting her do all the chasing. I had to confess that I always hate to have her leave, but I LOVE to watch her walk/run away!

After about an hour, we headed home. When we arrived, my daughter was already home. As we came into the house, she started yelling about taking her son without her permission. I said, if you spent more time with him instead of running off doing God-knows-what and with whom, she wouldn’t have to worry about it. Then, I have to hear how she’s a single mother and needs a break from time to time or that she’s allowed to have some fun.

I wanted to bring up the fact that her being a single mother is not my fault and that plenty of single mothers have to sacrifice their personal time for the sake of their children and maybe she shouldn’t have gotten pregnant by a deadbeat crackhead… excuse me, meth-head, in the first place. BUT I didn’t go thereat that time (been there many times before). I didn’t want to get into a shouting match right there in front of Hannah; she didn’t need to be dragged into that. For her part, she stayed out of it and was just keeping Jami occupied.

That’s when my daughter decided to speak her mind. “Why do you keep bringing that fat girl around my son? I don’t want her to sit on him.” I nearly exploded! But, for the sake of my little guy, I maintained a considerable amount of cool. Hannah decided to excuse herself and wanted to step outside, understandably so. But I asked her to remain in the house for a moment because I wanted to hear what I had to say next; not as some type of grandstanding but more so she would know and understand my level of commitment to our relationship.

“First”, I said, “this is the last time you ever talk badly about Hannah in my presence. Ever. Second, I love my grandson with all of my heart, but I will hand your ass an eviction notice without hesitation. Not that I need to because you aren't even paying rent. And lastly, you might want to get used to seeing Hannah around here a lot more. Who knows, she might even be your stepmom one day.” Her eyes got as big as saucers when I said that. I think that she was about to come back with some snarky, shitty comment but luckily thought better of it. She just picked up Jami and went upstairs to their room, slamming the door behind her.

Hannah and I left the house to go find something to eat. She was strangely quiet during the drive, while I was continually apologizing. We ended up at Dairy Queen and got a large basket of chicken fingers and fries to share. We both got Blizzards (mine is always Heath Bar!). I love them because they don’t melt fast like a cone and they’re in a cup anyway.

After eating we took a walk in a park. Only one family was there with their kids playing on the swings. We walked and talked (well I mostly talked) and there was still this tension in the air. We had just finished our Blizzards and were headed back to the car when Hannah said, “You think I’m stepmom material?” I nodded yes. She dropped her cup, pushed me back into a tree and proceeded to kissed me as passionately as I’ve ever been kissed. See, all turns our good in the end!


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## BigElectricKat (Nov 11, 2020)

I’ve found that almost always, the world lets you know when you’ve done something wrong. But every now and then, it lets you know you’ve done something right. The latter case happened to me this past weekend.

As most who’ve been checking in on this thread know, Hannah isn’t overly high on my Dims affiliation, but she’s been very supportive of my need to be a part of it. As far as we are both concerned, that is the only ripple in our shared pond of serenity. She doesn’t give me any grief about it and in turn, I get her approval on anything I decide to share about our relationship before posting. A win-win in my book. Otherwise, everything is pretty much “smooth sailing”.

Since we talk almost every day, we’ve been able to share a great deal in such a short time. Due to the nature of my work and through life experience, I’m usually good at understanding what people are saying and what they are NOT saying. This weekend, we had a conversation about weight and the struggles we’ve both endured.

For me, it’s not that big of a deal. I was very athletic in my youth, all the way up into my 30’s. As I aged, I gained weight to the point I’m at now. I let her know that during the last years of my military service, I was a bit heavier (say 240-245 lbs). She still marvels that I weigh as much as I do now (a steady 223 lbcs) because I carry most of that evenly (yes, I do have a bit of a belly and my face has gotten chubbier). Whereas she, has always been a bigger gal and over the course of the previous 4 or 5 years, put on even more weight.

Most of these were general statements and I could tell there was a lot more that she wasn’t telling me. I assumed (not always a good thing) that she dealt with the fat-shaming and other stigma that came with being big in the previous decades (and to a degree still happens). And after a little more discussion, I learned it was the reason she started dating a few so-called FA’s that were really more like abusers than admirers. Which had me beg the question: Did she approach me because I’m sorta on the fat side (I know I’m not fat enough for the FFA’s around here but still considered fat by non-FFA’s), to which she had no real answer. Not that I’m complaining either way but it begged me to wonder: Is she with me because she feels she can’t get any better? I didn’t say anything at the time because I didn’t want to spoil dinner (which BTW was excellent).

After dinner, we settled in to watch another episode my new favorite TV show Warrior Nun. But the question kept gnawing at me, and I decided to just get it out there, like ripping off a band-aid. I started out by telling her that I am so very grateful that our paths crossed and that I would give everything I have to for the time we’ve spent together. But I told her that it would eat at my soul if she was only with me because she felt I was her only option at the moment. I do not want to be someone’s, anyone’s, second best or desperation choice. Yes, I’m old(er), and not attractive, and fat, and poor. But I think I would not respect myself if I became consigned to the fact that she was only with me because I was the ONLY thing she felt she could get. What little self-esteem I have, would go down the drain.

Further, I had to tell her where this all came from. During my youth, in a few relationships, I was kinda kept in the dark when it came to some girlfriends’ family and/or friends: I was good enough to have sex with or go out clubbing with or get gifts from. But I wasn’t seen in the light of day. I wasn’t introduced to some friends or family. I was like a secret that needed to be kept hidden. I didn’t notice it for a long time because I was just having fun. It wasn’t until a really bad exchange occurred with a girlfriend’s mom. After that, I took notice and took steps for that not to happen again. But the damage to my psyche was done.

I was fully prepared that this would be our last time together, and it hurt me to think of that. So far, our relationship had been magical in my eyes and I truly didn’t want it to end. But I knew that if that were the case, I would become resentful and no one wants that. I expected her to think of some way to sugar coat the whole thing and I waited for her to speak as she searched my eyes and found in them the fear and resolve that lay beneath my words. The tension hung over us like a living thing and I fretted about ever putting her in this position to answer this question, but it had to be done.

It took a while for her to answer. I was doing my best to hold back tears because things had been so good between us. Tears welled up in Hannah’s eyes before she finally spoke. And what she said left no doubt in my mind as to her intentions.

She told me that she had more than a few dates after she moved out here last year. As a general rule, she finds that she’s a good judge of character and none of the guys she went on dates with or met through friends, had any real potential, with most of them giving her a creepy vibe. She said she knew she wanted to get to know me better the first day we met because she could tell I was sincere. She has dated all kinds of guys in her life and was just waiting for the right time to introduce me to her parents. She grabbed her laptop and showed me emails she sent to her mom about me. I was floored! Then she told me she had something to give me and excused herself from the room.

When she came back, she was wearing a cute (and very short) flowery dress and nothing else  . Of course, I marveled at how cute and sexy she looked but she didn’t say anything. She put on the on the below video and just danced so seductively for me that I was short of breath when she finished. She came over, straddled me and sat on my lap. And whispered, “I love you” in my ear. To that point, neither of us had really spoken the “L” word in that context and it seemed the most wonderful thing I had ever heard.


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## Lightning Man (Nov 11, 2020)

@BigElectricKat, I feel you about the whole "being a secret" thing. My first girlfriend was supposedly my fiancée but only told her parents about me after we broke up. We spent every weekend together out of town so as not to be seen. This secret lover routine scarred me, too, and rebelling against it is what ended that relationship. Otherwise, I might still be her dirty little secret thirty years later.


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## littlefairywren (Nov 11, 2020)

OMG that is so lovely! Made me cry like a fool of course. Happy, happy, happy for you both.


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## Tad (Nov 12, 2020)

littlefairywren said:


> OMG that is so lovely! Made me cry like a fool of course. Happy, happy, happy for you both.


Ditto!


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## BigElectricKat (Nov 27, 2020)

The past couple of weeks have been hard but enjoyable at the same time. Because of the surge in Covid cases, our frontline caregivers have taken quite a beating I terms of extra workload. Even though Hannah does not work on a Covid floor, some of the nurses in her department have taken advantage of our hospital’s request for nurses (and others) helping out in other areas of the hospital. So, her department has nurses on 12-hour shifts. As a result, we’ve had less time to spend together but the time we do spend together is wonderful. Last Tuesday was one of those days.

As I later learned, Hannah had a particularly rough day. Not only did she work 13 hours, but one of her patients coded and they couldn’t bring him back. Lately, we haven’t been able to get together for lunch and she’s been exhausted in the evening. Whereas we might normally talk for 1 or 2 hours each night, lately we’ve barely talked for 45 minutes at most. It’s not for a lack of desire. She’s usually tired and by the time she gets home, I’m about to go to sleep (I’m up at 5 am). We still have great times when we see each other. Sadly, those times are a bit less than usual. But Tuesday night was another thing entirely.

During the day, we usually send messages back and forth to each other, either by email or Microsoft Teams (mind you, the Teams messages are very tame by comparison). We exchanged several messages on Tuesday morning hours but by the afternoon, there wasn’t much communication. I chalked it up to her being busy and figured we’d catch up later. I didn’t hear from her all afternoon but didn’t worry as I knew she gets off at 8 pm. I was getting out of the shower at 10 pm when I heard my phone ringing. It was Hannah and she sounded distraught.

She told me about the rough day she had and that one of the other nurses was a royal “B” to her that day. I offered to turn off the nurse’s access so she couldn’t get into the hospital tomorrow but she wasn’t out for revenge. I asked what I could do, and she reluctantly asked if I could come over, right at that very moment. She just felt like she was overwhelmed and tired and always feels safe and comfortable when I’m around. I was only too happy to do so. She thought it might be best if I brought my clothes for the morning over.

Now to this point in our relationship, neither of us had spent the night at the other’s place. Yes, we’ve spent countless hours together and stayed up late into the wee hours of the morning, but neither of us pushed for a “sleepover”. I think both of us have been considerate of our living situations. But now, I hastily grabbed my stuff for the next day and departed my house. I was eager to see Hannah but not for the obvious reasons. I realized that this was the first time that she called on me out of a need for something more than simple companionship. She needed a friend, a partner, a sounding board. She needed to vent and a shoulder to cry on if need be. I was determined to be up to the task.

When I pulled up to her place, she was waiting at the door. She was wearing a very cute set of pajamas and her hair was still wet from the shower. I barely got out a “Hello” at the door before she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and gave me the biggest, tightest hug. She just kept whispering “Thank You” in my ear and it seemed we were standing there for 10 minutes (not that I minded at all). When we finally went inside, she ushered me into her room and shut the door.

She hung my things in her closet and then pulled back the covers on the bed and asked me to get in. I lay there, propped up on my elbow and she slid into bed next to me. She covered us up and I laid there, spooning with her, sniffing her hair (which smelled absolutely wonderful), and just listened to her let some things out. We both fell asleep about an hour later. I woke up when My alarm went off at 5 and tried to be as quiet as possible. As I was leaving, her roommate came out of her room, looked at me and just smiled.

Yesterday, Thanksgiving was a revelation. After I got off work, I went straight to Hannah’s place. Once again, she greeted me at the door (I’m starting to like this a lot). I gave her a “Hey, Beautiful” and she gives me a “Hey, Tiger”. I’m guessing that’s her pet name for me because she’s called me that a few times now. When I stepped inside, I was amazed at all the things she prepared for Thanksgiving dinner (the first of many I hope).

Since her roommate was working, we had the place to ourselves. We ate. We laughed. We flirted. I volunteered to clean the dishes, which she thought was awesome. She packed me some leftovers that I’ll have for dinner tonight. We sat and cuddled and let our food settle. But before I went into a “turkey coma” she had surprise for me. As a general rule, her surprises are extremely thoughtful and arousing (I can say that, right?). But this time she brought out her laptop and I was confused. Was she going to show me a cat video or maybe something naughty she made for me.

Instead, she sat next to me on the couch and called her mother via Skype! I freaked out momentarily. All of these scenarios ran through my mind! I could see it all going sideways in a hurry. But it turned out really well and I was happy for it. At one point, Hannah excused herself to go to the bathroom (I think this was planned), and I was left there to talk to her mom alone. Arlene (Hannah’s mom), asked me some very pointed questions about my intentions for her daughter. Without batting an eye, I let her know just how wonderful Hannah is and began to spout off her many virtues. But when I told her that Hannah was truly a gift from God, I think that sealed the deal.

When Hannah finally came out of the bathroom, I think there were tears welling up in my eyes so I excused myself (I have been doing more crying around this woman than I have in the last 10 years). After I came out of the bathroom, I sat back down next to Hannah and she held my hand as we all said goodbye. When the call was concluded, she looked at me and asked me what I said to her mother. Fearing I had made some sort of faux pas, I asked why. She said, “My mother has never liked any of my boyfriends. EVER! But she kept going on and on about how you’re a keeper and how she would steal you from me if she wasn’t married.” I was flabbergasted! We laughed for a long while after that.


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## Colonial Warrior (Nov 27, 2020)

My best wishes on your relationship with Hannah!


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## Tad (Nov 27, 2020)

Brought such a grin to my face reading all that  You two seem to be a lot of good for each other.


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## Funtastic curves (Nov 30, 2020)

I look forward to reading every entry you make in this thread. It's my favorite☺

I wish you both lots of happiness


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## stampy (Nov 30, 2020)

Your relationship needs to be made into a Hallmark movie!!! This is the kind of light we need in the world right now!!


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## BigElectricKat (Dec 18, 2020)

These last couple of weeks have been a bit of a roller coaster. Back in November, our employer let us know that all of the full time employees were each going to get a $750 (before taxes) bonus in our December 11th paychecks. Great news, right! I though it was great because I haven't really been on the plus side for quite a while. I was hoping to get my grandson a toddler bed and get Hannah something really nice for our first Christmas together. Nothing overly expensive but something I know she likes (she loves aquamarine - the gemstone not the movie). I was just waiting to get the money that Friday. 

On Thursday, my water heater died. When I say died, I mean D-E-A-D. It was 10 years old and I had been having trouble with it for the last couple of years. So now, I'm taking these "combat showers" and freezing my you-know-whats off! Anyway, I called to get a new water heater and the best price I could get was $600. That was just about all of the bonus money after taxes but I needed to get it done. My daughter was taking herself and my grandson over to her boyfriend's house for showers. After a couple days of braving the frigid waters, I told Hannah about it. She was so sweet! She said, "You come over here, Tiger. I'll make sure you get squeaky clean." I didn't want to put her out but she insisted. Man! That woman is special!!

Got the new heater in on Wednesday. I told Hannah that I'll have to return the favor very soon. She just smiled!


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## Tad (Dec 18, 2020)

Not going as planned, but I'd say it is working out just fine


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## BigElectricKat (Jan 11, 2021)

Isn't it wonderful when someone cares enough to learn "you" and whatever your love languages are?


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## littlefairywren (Jan 11, 2021)

BigElectricKat said:


> Isn't it wonderful when someone cares enough to learn "you" and whatever your love languages are?


That's love ❤


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## BigElectricKat (Jan 19, 2021)

Five ways she let's me know she loves me without saying so:


She adores my grandson and he adores her. It often seems as though they are more excited to see each other than they are to see me! When she is over and he is here, she takes time to play with him and cuddle with him always. They even have a secret handshake!
She kisses me in front of anybody and everybody. When we first got together, we had to steal kisses in the elevator. Now, she doesn't hide it and I couldn't be prouder of our relationship. Now, we are not doing full-on make out sessions or anything, but it's just the thought that she cares enough for me to not care what others think. She's not embarrassed about me and it shows. 
She always asks if I want more. And not just about food  .'Nuff said!
Every time I go to her place, she greets me at the door. It could be raining, cold, or snowing. When i get out of the car, she opens the door and waits for me to come to her. Usually, she is wearing something that I really like and she knows I like it. She gives me a big hug and kiss before I step into the door. Our height difference is such that when I wrap my arms around her, I have two hands full of beautiful, BBW booty!
She calls me Tiger. And she says it in a way that's so arousing, in a low, sweet, growl.


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## Still a Skye fan (Jan 19, 2021)

Your posts always make me smile. I wish all the best to you and your lovely lady, sir!


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## BigElectricKat (Feb 23, 2021)

These days, I try to live life with more of a “servant’s heart” than perhaps earlier in life. The consequences of that are usually good in the respect that I feel I am happier making others happy rather than just myself. Since that is part of my makeup, part of my character, I don’t often dwell on that aspect of my life. I’m not consciously thinking, “How can I serve this person today?” Rather, it’s just how I operate now.

So, it came as surprise the other day, when Hannah and I were just having conversation, that she brought up how much she thinks I cater to her in many ways. This happened after we were discussing her future plans. I’ve been a big proponent of her going back to school to get her MSN (Master of Science in Nursing). The great thing about this area is that there are so many opportunities in the healthcare field and our employer is big on tuition assistance, especially for nursing degrees.

She thought it would be daunting to juggle work, school, maintaining her apartment, car insurance, buying groceries, etc. That is when I had an epiphany. She could move in with me (us)! It would probably be a win-win for us all. Her lease is up in July, school will start in late August, she can have her own room if she wants, and she can save lots of money. I even told her that if things ended up not working out between us, that she could continue to stay there until she was done with school or wanted to leave. I would not bother or pressure her in that regard.

As I was outlining the benefits to such an arrangement, you could see the wheels turning in her mind. At first, she was looking at it as a purely business decision. She asked how much I wanted her to pay! I laughed and told her she didn’t have to pay a thing. I’m already paying my mortgage and everything else. Of course, she insisted. So, I told her that she could contribute to the groceries. She offered to cook as well, which is always great.

After mulling over the logical aspects of this idea, I saw in her eyes how she was considering the “fringe benefits” of such an undertaking.

One thing that I’ve enjoyed immensely with Hannah is how we’ve grown to understand each other’s _love languages_. It may come as a mild shock to some (not so much to others) that a vast majority of my love languages involve the psychological facets of love and relationships as opposed to the physical. Conversely, Hannah is the opposite. She is really responsive to our physical interactions; all those little things that I do to let her know she is loved, valued, and desired. She likes the mental things as well, just as I enjoy our physical intimacy. She knows that she can give me a look or a caress, and I am all hers for as long as she wants.

After our conversation about school, she just gave me this look; an “I’m going to wear you out tonight!” look. It immediately made my heart race. And wear me out, she did! Goodness I am soooooooooooooooooo lucky!!!


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## Tad (Feb 23, 2021)

It is nice when pragmatism prods people to take the next step


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## BigElectricKat (Apr 12, 2021)

Well, this week brought so many revelations and surprises. Over the course of the past couple years, I had not kept up with the landscaping my ex had planted. Once all the flowers died after she left, I didn't plant anything new. I did keep up with the bushes and such but otherwise, not really my thing. Yes, I mowed the lawn (I'm not a barbarian after all).

First, Hannah wanted me to go to Lowe's with her. Turns out she wanted to buy some flowers to plant and other stuff. I've always told her that if/when possible, we can always use my military discount (even though we're not married). So we got good deals on all she wanted to buy. I thought initially that she bought too much for what she would put in her apartment, but I didn't say anything. Turns out, I was right! She bought all that stuff to plant at my house! I was taken aback by this gesture at first. Then she dropped a little hint about wanting her yard to be pretty. That made my heart beat a little faster.

Second, I was told that Hannah's mom would be visiting next week! Now, I've spoken to her mom a couple of times via Skype but the thought of meeting her in person kinda scares me. She's always been nice and speaks to me with respect but I'm getting the "now you are gonna really get grilled" vibe from Hannah. I can only hope things go well.


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## Tad (Apr 12, 2021)

You are the man making her (grown, adult) daughter very happy. Mom probably wants to make sure that it is all real and not just an illusion, but otherwise she's probably predisposed to adore you. Show respect and consideration (which I know you will), and maybe just a tiny bit of sass or at least humour (which I strongly suspect you will, I feel there is a sense of humour that you mostly keep under wraps here), and things should be good


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## BigElectricKat (May 4, 2021)

Well, last week Hannah’s mom came for a visit. To say I was nervous about meeting her in person would have been an understatement. She arrived Saturday evening around 3 pm. I was unable to go with Hannah to the airport, as I was watching the little guy. I had assumed that we would probably meet the next day, but apparently, she insisted on meeting me that night! Hannah called and asked if 6 pm would be okay to come by. Since it is always great when I see her, I said yes.

When they arrived, Jami and I were waiting at the door. He almost fell trying to run out and hug Hannah. As it turns out, them coming at this time was another blessing. Arlene (Hannah’s mom) had been an elementary school teacher for over 20 years. She got to observe Jami doing his thing (he’s all about letters, numbers, colors, and shapes). When I told her that he was just two weeks shy of being 2 ½, she was quick to point out that he’s very advanced (which I always felt but it was nice to get a “professional’s” opinion).

Our first visit went very well enough. In between engaging with Jami, I tried to pay as much attention to Arlene as I could, taking the time to answer her questions thoughtfully. I made sure to be very respectful that she was Hannah’s mother, so I refrained being too handsy with Hannah (although Hannah had no qualms about it). We are usually quite affectionate, especially when we’re alone.

I think Arlene kept things light in this initial meeting. She didn’t ask me anything too deep or overly personal. Since I knew that she was coming for a visit, we had planned to have a dinner out in a couple of days and also one at Hannah’s place. At one point I was downstairs getting the little guy something to eat and Hannah yelled down, “Can you get me a Coke, Tiger?” When I came back upstairs, Arlene says, “Tiger? What’s that about?” Thinking better of it, I suggested she ask Hannah.

The real grilling came a couple of nights later when we were having dinner. I got to Hannah’s about 4 pm and as always, she greeted me at the door. She gives me that big, long, wet, passionate kiss that I so love and for a moment, I forgot that her mother was there. As I’ve mentioned before, her height coupled with the step up into her apartment, makes for her hips to be at the perfect level for me to wrap my arms around her and squeeze her lovely, large rear. When we finally walked inside, her mom was standing there, eyes wide. If it were humanly possible, I think I would have blushed!

Hannah had just put the meatloaf in (she makes this ridiculously delicious meatloaf with tomatoes and shredded cheese baked in), when she claims that she forgot something and needed to run to the store. I offered to go for her, but she declined and told me to “hold down the fort”. I had already figured out that this was a ploy to get me alone with her mom.

I sat down on the couch and instinctively grabbed a pillow. I felt I was going to be on the defensive for a while. I tried to throw her off her game by immediately trying to start some small talk: How was her visit going? Did she see or do anything interesting? She said she enjoyed being with Hannah and seeing where she works. She was also elated to see that Hannah was so happy and in high spirits.

She told me that before Hannah left home, she was in such a broken and depressed state. She then remarked that I was a little shorter than she imagined but didn’t look as old as she thought I would. I attributed that to (mostly) clean living. She laughed at that.

I was still feeling a bit awkward when she went into “serious mode”. She told me that Hannah seems to be more than smitten and in fact, is downright thankful that we met. I let her know that I am as well. I also let her know that I was in a sort of bad place for quite a while before meeting Hannah.

Arlene touched on some things that Hannah has told her about me, but I guess she wanted to hear it straight from me, so I basically gave her the whole scoop. Then she asked a really pointed question: What is it about her that I find attractive? Of course I smiled when she asked this, since I know it’s something most parents ask their children’s paramours.

In no particular order, I said she is kind, caring, compassionate, helpful, intelligent, fun, affectionate, loving, patient, sweet, intuitive, giving, honest, mature, thoughtful, transparent, strong, hard-working, loyal, passionate, and dependable. And that my grandson absolutely loves her. She said that she noticed that.

Then she asked me something that I was not really ready to answer. She asked if I would marry Hannah. I was taken aback by the question and I wasn’t sure how she’d take my answer. The short answer would be yes. At this point, if things worked out, I would. BUT (and you know I like big BUTTS), I told her that I would not ASK her to marry me. Ever.

This seemed to upset her a bit and she asked why. I told her that I simply love Hannah. She has been such a light in my life. But asking her to marry me is asking her to take on several burdens that will be hard (if not impossible) to overcome. I am much older, in fact, I am closer to her mother’s age than her own. I’m slowing down and my health issues aren’t getting too much better. How can I ask this young, vibrant, beautiful woman to marry me; have to take care of me sooner rather than later? My divorce left me in a financial hole that’s going to take years and years to dig out of. How can I ask her to step into that? And frankly, my daughter is an ungrateful you-know-what. But I tolerate some of her crap for the sake of my grandson. I couldn’t, in good conscience, ask her to marry me, knowing all these things. I can’t truly love someone and then ask them to take all that on when I know she can do much better than me. That would be the height of selfishness and I couldn’t bear to know that I dragged her down like that.

For a long time, Arlene just sat there, pondering what I said. She finally told me to tell Hannah how I feel; to let her know that I wouldn’t marry her. I stopped her at that. I didn’t say I wouldn’t, I said I wouldn’t ask. I didn’t say anything about not accepting. She looked at me strangely. We batted this idea back and forth a little while and in the end, she made me see that there was little difference in which way things went as long as I was open and truthful. In fact, I hadn’t considered how it would make Hannah feel if I DIDN’T ask (if/when it got to that point). And I conceded, that I might have been too altruistic in refusing to ask. So, I told her that I’d think more on that. The last thing I would ever want to do is make her not feel valued.

It had been about 45 minutes and Hannah hadn’t come back from the store, even though it’s only 10 minutes away at best. There was still a tension in the air when Arlene said, “Tiger, huh”? I felt a little embarrassed again. Then she said, “All I know is that you make my daughter very, very happy. We talk about everything. EVERYTHING. So, whatever you are doing, keep doing it. I hope you stay together as long as possible.”

Right on que, Hannah opened the door. For being gone so long, I noticed that she only had a bottle of wine and some butter to show for her time spent at the store. The meal was good, and we laughed all night long.

They came over to my house a couple days later and Hannah cooked another great meal. Arlene commented that Hannah knew her way around my kitchen pretty well. For some reason, I got a warm feeling about that; as though it fit perfectly. The next day, Arlene called me from the airport and let me know that she was glad that she came out and doubly glad that we got to spend a little time together. She hoped that there will be many more visits.


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## Tad (May 5, 2021)

I think I like Arlene! And yah, I suspect you overthink things.


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## extra_m13 (May 9, 2021)

love to read happy storied, thanks for sharing


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## BigElectricKat (Jul 1, 2021)

So, it’s been over two months since Hannah’s mom was here. Those first couple of weeks after she left, things were slightly strained between Hannah and me. Though we continued to hang out and see each other, I felt there was a tension in the air at times. It turns out that we were both waiting for the other to address the whole marriage situation.

I’m happy to say, that because of how I’ve treated her and expressed my faith, love, and dedication to her on many occasions, Hannah finally felt the courage to ask me to clarify what I told her mom. For some reason, she got the message that I would never ask her to marry me and that this meant that she wasn’t good enough. Like the children’s game of telephone, the original message became distorted down the line.

I had to explain to her what I meant when I said that I wouldn’t ask her to marry me but would gladly marry her if that’s what she desired. So, I likened asking her to step in and take on my burdens to being asked to run into a burning building. If I ask you to run in there and save my dog or important papers or whatever, I know there’s a good possibility that you could get burned, injured, or even die. How selfish must I be to ask that of you? Even though asking you to run in and get what’s important to me, I would hate myself if something happened to you. In the same way, I would hate myself if, some years from now, you grew to despise the burdens of my life that you were forced to take on. I told her that I know she can easily do better than me.

After dinner, we sat on the couch together cuddling and watching television, mostly in silence. My guess is that she mulled over all that I had said, and finally concluded how I meant it. All at once, she sat up and turned to me with tears in her eyes. I was a little fearful of what she was going to say. But instead of something negative, she made the butterflies in my stomach do backflips.

She said, “You have been absolutely incredible with me. You’ve been kind, patient, loving and so compassionate. You didn’t run away when I was struggling to trust you. You didn’t judge me or berate me when I told you about all the shit I went through. You brought me out of my shell in such a sweet and gentle way. You opened your arms even wider and held me even closer. You didn’t try to use me or make me feel small or worthless like others have done in the past. You make me feel like a fucking Queen everyday and I like that. I love that. I could never give that up, no matter what.”

She went on to say, “If you feel bad asking me to marry you, don’t. It’s going to happen, one way or the other. We were meant to be together. And besides, I told you when we first got together that I would take care of you when you’re old. Plus, you are going to have one fat Social Security check!” I busted out laughing at that last line and she was smiling that beautiful smile, even with the tracks of her tears still on her face.

We held each other for a long time after that; letting the moment sink in. The realization that we were both heading toward the same goal and both determined for us to succeed was like a great weight lifted from our shoulders. I found myself breathing more easily and also aware of how deeply Hannah was breathing. We kissed and cuddled for a long time and got worked up pretty good.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. We both sorta freaked out a bit. I had to “situate” myself before heading toward the door to answer it. But then we heard a key going into the lock. I was half ready to have to fight someone when her roommate opened the door. She was supposed to be working until 10 or 11 pm but got off early.

I think she could tell we were in the middle of something because she excused herself and went directly to her room. We gathered our stuff and went into Hannah’s room. I started gathering my keys and wallet but apparently, Hannah was already in GWS (Great White Shark) mode. She gets in this mode where she is utterly insatiable and acts like an apex predator in the bedroom. I said, “Oh the Shark has come out to play?” She just grinned and pulled my shirt off. So, things are going very well.


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## Tad (Jul 2, 2021)

a) I'm glad you two got that sorted out!

b) "I told her that I know she can easily do better than me." This is taking modesty and self-deprecation too far. You may have issues, some of them difficult. But you are clearly a top notch human being that anyone would incredibly fortunate to have in their life. We are fortunate to have you on Dimensions, she is fortunate to be in a relationship with you. Please give yourself credit for for having ended up as a wonderful person.


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## TheShannan (Jul 2, 2021)

She sounds beautiful!! So glad you found her and she found you


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## BigElectricKat (Jul 19, 2021)

Sad news: Hannah's mom and dad were in a terrible accident last Sunday. Mom is doing alright but dad is in a bad way. Prayers are needed.


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## Funtastic curves (Jul 19, 2021)

So sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers are with them.


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## RVGleason (Jul 19, 2021)

Prayers with you.


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## BigElectricKat (Jul 19, 2021)

I’ve been off Dims for the better part of a week due to a serious event that took place last Sunday. Hannah’s mom and dad were in a car accident on Sunday the 11th. Hanna wasn’t notified until late on Monday, after her shift. She was so upset and distraught. She was going to get in her car and drive all the way to North Carolina (about a 12hr drive) after she just worked a 12hr shift! I begged and begged her not to do that. I finally convinced her to fly out first thing in the morning. She would probably get there at about the same time, she would be rested (at least a little), and most importantly, she would be safe.

I got up extra early on Tuesday and drove her to the airport. The whole way there, I tried to reassure her that things would be alright. Her mom was pretty much okay, but her dad was not doing good. She was anxious and visibly upset. It hurt me to see her in such pain. When I dropped her off at the airport, I could feel her body trembling. Kissed her lightly on her cheek and told her that I loved her. She hugged me so tightly and returned my affection. Then off she went with nothing but a carry-on bag.

I went to work and knew I wouldn’t be hearing from her until later that night (if at all that day). I resisted the urge to call her every hour on the hour. At about 9 pm she called me. She was absolutely exhausted and spent all of her time going back and forth from her mom’s room to the surgery waiting room. Her dad three surgeries to repair various internal organs. And he was scheduled for more. Arlene was being kept for observation as she had some slight brain swelling and fractured ribs with minor cuts and abrasions. Her sister (the person that notified her) had made it down from Virginia and they were both terrified for their dad.

I’ve been a little bit of a mess this whole time, worried about her and for her. We’ve spent some very late nights talking on the phone, addressing hopes and fears and dreams of the future. Arlene is out of the hospital and they are all doing their best to keep their spirits up. Apparently, Hannah has been grilling the hell out of the doctors and nurses taking care of her dad. Afterall, it’s what she does for a living.

As of last night, it sounds like he is slowly improving but has a ling way to go. I spoke with Arlene last night and she thanked me for talking Hannah into flying. I told her, “What else is an old man good for if not for a bit of wisdom.” She told me not to make her laugh because it hurt to laugh right now. When Hannah got back on the phone, she was just so sweet to me and it reaffirmed that God is watching.


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## Tad (Jul 19, 2021)

I don't really know what to say, but I'll be thinking about Hannah's Dad, and all of you, and hoping for the best outcomes in the situation.


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## BigElectricKat (Jul 21, 2021)

Thank you all.


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## loopytheone (Jul 21, 2021)

Best wishes to your loved ones, BEK.


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## BigElectricKat (Jul 28, 2021)

It is with a certain amount of sadness (on my part) that I report that Hannah will be moving back to North Carolina in the coming weeks, to help take care of her father.

Her dad seems to have made it past the worst of his injuries, battling through multiple surgeries and a couple of infections. He’ll be going home next week but will need a great deal of post-op care that her mom would have a tough (if not impossible) time doing. I probably never mentioned it but Arlene (Hannah’s mom) is fairly petite at about 5’2” and maybe 140-150 lbs. Her dad is on the bigger side, 6’3” and in the 300 lbs range.

When it was told to the family just how much care he would need, Hannah immediately volunteered to come back and help. She is so great that way. She called me and told me right away. I appreciated that a great deal. Of course, I’d rather she stayed here (selfish, I know) but completely understand and was supportive. I cried on the inside. I’m not sure another like this will come along. And I cannot leave due to my responsibilities here; at least not anytime soon.

She came back last night and came by the house. She’s giving her 2-week notice today. Her sister and brother-in-law are coming out to help her drive her stuff back to the coast in a U-Haul. It’s not much (bedroom set and couch and loveseat) but it’s hers and still fairly new. I feel better about that. It’s a 14 or15 hour drive and I would be worried sick if she went alone (even though she drove out here all by herself). I’ll be helping her pack over the next few days.

We’ve vowed to spend as much time together and she wants to play with Jami as much as possible. I’ve promised not to try and talk her out of it, even though my heart is breaking inside. I can see it in her eyes, it’s tearing her up as well. Certainly, there is a glimmer of hope on the horizon; she can always come back if the opportunity presents itself. She’s leaving on good terms with the hospital and she always has a place to stay (my house!). We are trying to make this a “See you later” rather than a firm goodbye. But reality has a way of gumming up the works so, I won’t hold my breath.

It’s been a fantastic time and I am extremely thankful for the time we’ve shared. In both our cases, we were what the other needed just when it seemed no one was there. I couldn’t ask for anything better.


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## Tad (Jul 28, 2021)

My heart is breaking a bit for the two of you. As you say, hopefully this is just for now. Fingers crossed for all of you involved in the situation.


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## BigElectricKat (Aug 16, 2021)

Well, last Thursday proved to be the most bittersweet of my entire life. It was very funny in some ways as well. Since she really didn’t have that much stuff, we took our sweet time packing of most of Hannah’s things: some dishes, clothes, and knick-knacks. I think we spent more time talking than packing, most of the time. We could have packed up almost all of her stuff in an hour, but it took us almost 2 days; we stopped frequently just to hug or kiss or eat. We made a sad time as fun as we could.

One thing about Hannah that I love (and there are MANY), is that she’s observant. She watches and listens better than almost anyone I’ve ever met. She can discern things that you like or dislike very easily. She picks up on little things and is just marvelous about wanting to make me happy. For instance, after the very first time she greeted me at her door, she always did it. It wouldn’t matter: hot sun, rain, snow, howling wind. She would open that door as I was walking up, and give me the biggest, best hug and kiss. And she would not break our embrace until I did so.

Another thing that was s thoughtful was the fact that she only wore red nail polish or none on her toes. Now I’ve come to appreciate other colors over time but I once mentioned to her that red was my favorite followed by none at all. Never once in almost a year of being together did she wear anything but red.

In those last couple of weeks, I took time off just so we could be together more. Knowing that she was going to be leaving left me with a feeling of emptiness slowly creeping up my spine. The only thing that would dispel that feeling was when I was physically with her. I think she was having similar feeling because there were times that she didn’t want me to leave, either her place or mine. Since my boss is so easy-going, it was no problem calling off or going in late.

We found time to go to our favorite parks and stroll along holding hands. I just felt that each was the most wonderful time of my life. I was so happy and also sad that I knew it was ending. One late night, we were just laying in bed and Hannah hit me with a secret she had been hiding. She told me that she was initially wary of being intimate with me! I was shocked. Especially given how we’ve really come together (no pun intended) in that regard. She told me that my somewhat gruff exterior, coupled with some of the stories of my life that I shared (MMA fights, being a bouncer, etc), made her wonder if I would be overly aggressive in bed.

I laughed at that. She was glad that I laughed. She admitted that I was really gentle and wondered how she could have ever thought I would be anything but. And I told her that I had a confession to make as well. After our initial airing of our “dirty laundry”, I was afraid that she going to be very timid, shy, or skittish in bed. After hearing the things that others had done to her, I was really worried about how she’d react. Now it was her turn to laugh. She can get so aggressive at times. There’s a reason why I nicknamed her The Shark! Goodness, we probably laughed for 30 minutes on and off! I think we fell asleep laughing.

Last Monday, Hannah’s sister and brother-in-law flew in to help with the move. It’s always interesting to see how a family looks. Her sister is dang near the spittin’ image of her mom. Very petite but maybe a bit taller at 5’6”. She was very nice and asked if she could hug me when we met. Her husband, not quite that warm at first. Not sure why. But as the evening went on, and we swapped crazy military stories, he seemed to loosen up. I think we became buddies after we had dinner at my house. My steak game is en fuego!

We packed up the U-Haul on Wednesday afternoon. Hannah said it took all of 45 minutes: Bedroom set, couch, love seat, and about a dozen boxes. The evening, we had dinner near the hotel where they were staying. Afterward, Hannah came over to the house and stayed the night with me. She asked if I would wake her up at 4:00 am. I thought it was odd because I don’t get up until 5:00 and they weren’t supposed to hit the road until 7:00 or 8:00. But I set the alarm for 4:00 without question.

When the alarm went off at 4:00 am it startled me (like always) when I looked at the time, I realized that Hannah had wanted me to wake her. But when I rolled over, she wasn’t in the bed. I could see the bathroom light was on and assumed that she was in there getting ready or something. After about five minutes, the light went off and she came out, naked and smiling. Needless to say, there was a Shark attack!!!

After I finally got up and got ready, Hannah also got ready. We jumped in my vehicle and drove in virtual silence to the hotel. When it was time for me to leave, we said our goodbyes and once again expressed our admiration for one another. We kissed, and I wanted to savor the moment for there would not be more to come anytime soon. This time, Hannah held the embrace long after I thought she would. She was crying and her tears graced my cheeks. Finally, she let me go saying, “Don’t miss your train.” As I watched her walk into the lobby of the hotel, I hoped it would not be the last time I would watch her walk.

Around 11:30 am that morning, my phone rang. After saying hello, there was a moment of silence and then I heard two voices saying, “Hey, Tiger!” It was Hannah and her sister calling me from the road. She missed me and told me to check in my closet after I got home that day. She said if things had worked out, I’d probably be wearing what she left me soon enough. I wondered what that could be. When I got home, I found it sitting on my Michigan ball cap.


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## Anitra08 (Aug 18, 2021)

BigElectricKat said:


> You better believe it! My mouth was watering at the thought!
> 
> She called me a yesterday and remarked that it made her curious that I didn't just jump her bones (old school saying) right then and there. I thought to myself that my Jedi mind trick is working!


LOL, You made the right decision.


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## Anitra08 (Aug 18, 2021)

BigElectricKat said:


> Well, last Thursday proved to be the most bittersweet of my entire life. It was very funny in some ways as well. Since she really didn’t have that much stuff, we took our sweet time packing of most of Hannah’s things: some dishes, clothes, and knick-knacks. I think we spent more time talking than packing, most of the time. We could have packed up almost all of her stuff in an hour, but it took us almost 2 days; we stopped frequently just to hug or kiss or eat. We made a sad time as fun as we could.
> 
> One thing about Hannah that I love (and there are MANY), is that she’s observant. She watches and listens better than almost anyone I’ve ever met. She can discern things that you like or dislike very easily. She picks up on little things and is just marvelous about wanting to make me happy. For instance, after the very first time she greeted me at her door, she always did it. It wouldn’t matter: hot sun, rain, snow, howling wind. She would open that door as I was walking up, and give me the biggest, best hug and kiss. And she would not break our embrace until I did so.
> 
> ...


Awesome story, if you haven't already you need to write a book. Dude this had my attention.


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## Anitra08 (Aug 18, 2021)

Dayeme35 said:


> I'm happy when others find happiness. I pray this continues to grow with more joy and more interesting adventures.


YES YES YES


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## Anitra08 (Aug 18, 2021)

BigElectricKat said:


> Hannah and I have found more than a few common interests over these past weeks, but it seemed as though this Dimensions thing might be a deal breaker for her. Yes, I know it’s rather trivial in the grand scheme of things, but it meant something to her, which in turn means something to me. She had a difficult time understanding why I wanted to keep being part of this amazing community, but I told her that I would not continue visiting Dims if she really felt it would strain our relationship.
> 
> In the spirit of transparency, I took her through most of my posts and PM’s. I told her that I have been somewhat flirty with a few members but nothing serious (which anyone who’s messaged me will attest to). As a general rule I think just about anybody here will tell her that I’m usually a gentleman and the flirts are just a way to get someone to smile. Much of that she understood because she gets it from me all the time.
> 
> ...


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## Anitra08 (Aug 18, 2021)

Dayeme35 said:


> I'm happy when others find happiness. I pray this continues to grow with more joy and more interesting adventures.


I am too, Thank you for shining your light in my life @Dayeme35


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## browning721 (Sep 5, 2021)

Go head Big Daddy! Sounds like you need to move your ass to NC!


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