# A naive Fa?.



## mergirl (Aug 11, 2009)

Its weird. I have had very little negative expereince being an fa in real life and then i come to a place like dimensions which is Fa friendly. I join a facebook site, called "chubby girls are hot" or something like that (I saw a couple of my friends were members) and i was SO shocked at the Fa bashing from the women there! Jebus! I'm wondering if this is just the rantings of a few people who have the wrong end of the stick or if generally this is what most people think of Fa's. You see i have no idea of knowing because there is very little mention of Fa's anywhere; In films, Books, Music, plus all my friends are very open minded so i can't trust that its just them that are cool about Fa's. 
I don't feel good about this.


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## Tau (Aug 11, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Its weird. I have had very little negative expereince being an fa in real life and then i come to a place like dimensions which is Fa friendly. I join a facebook site, called "chubby girls are hot" or something like that (I saw a couple of my friends were members) and i was SO shocked at the Fa bashing from the women there! Jebus! I'm wondering if this is just the rantings of a few people who have the wrong end of the stick or if generally this is what most people think of Fa's. You see i have no idea of knowing because there is very little mention of Fa's anywhere; In films, Books, Music, plus all my friends are very open minded so i can't trust that its just them that are cool about Fa's.
> I don't feel good about this.



What were they saying Mer? I can't quite figure out why people bash FA's. Sure, there are some odd ones, some offensive ones, some cowardly ones, but those are just the few rotten apples and skinny chicks deal with similar situations so I have no idea why fat girls bash fat admirers as a group. I have a friend who said she objects to their comments about her body. My response was that that isn't FA specific - that's just annoying-guy specific behaviour. Guys who like thin girls send them creepy messages, ogle their body parts, make unfortunate comments about their genitalia etc  FA's - the shady ones - just happen to do the same thing to fat girls. I really don't see the reason for all the drama.


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## mergirl (Aug 11, 2009)

Tau said:


> What were they saying Mer? .


To be honest, i think half the stuff written would make both Fa's and fat people feel shitty so it doesn't really bear repeating. The usual i guess. You can always join the group and then unjoin (something i am trying to work out how to do). This is ment to be a group celebrating big women (on a shallow level i know, plus its ment to be a fun group) but there is a discussion "Is it right to fetishise a medical problem?" I basically couldn't not answer that. For one thing i said the question doesn't actually make sense. gah! och..i think its just really anoying. These women wern't saying "i don't like when Fas do.. such snd such".. they were saying "Fa's are fucked up". I always find it really sad when people think those who find them attractive are fucked up. Says more about them really i suppose. Still pretty sad though.


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## MsGreenLantern (Aug 11, 2009)

I've found that a lot of bad comments in groups like those are written by women who are trying to lose weight, or skinny chicks who hate that fat chicks get men. It's a weird self-hatred thing. How dare men like fatties when skinny chicks can't get a man! How dare fat chicks get appreciation and not ridicule for being so 'slovenly' and 'unhygienic' and 'lazy'~! Shame on those boys for reinforcing their bad behavior... or my favorite... when girls dis FAs because they don't believe they really like us big gals, and are "making fun of us" by making the group. Because NOBODY finds fat attractive.


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## Cors (Aug 11, 2009)

Almost ALL the fat chicks I know _in person_ think FAs are sick. 

They do have an unhealthy amount of body hate though, and are always on one diet or another.


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## mergirl (Aug 11, 2009)

Wow. Its just so sad on so many levels.


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## steely (Aug 11, 2009)

I looked at that site, too. I was appalled and disgusted by the comments there. There was nothing positive that I could see about that group. I left feeling really abused. Yuck!!!


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## Cors (Aug 11, 2009)

I guess it won't be easy for BBWs who do like FAs or the idea of one to speak up in such a group, especially if they haven't found a healthy BBW/FA community!


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## mergirl (Aug 11, 2009)

Cors said:


> I guess it won't be easy for BBWs who do like FAs or the idea of one to speak up in such a group, especially if they haven't found a healthy BBW/FA community!



You can't really advertise dimensions there either cause then you would be inviting the arseholes too. Gah! Hmm.. just need to work on un joining.


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## mergirl (Aug 11, 2009)

steely said:


> I looked at that site, too. I was appalled and disgusted by the comments there. There was nothing positive that I could see about that group. I left feeling really abused. Yuck!!!


Yeah, i don't think it was positive for fat people or fas! Like a sheep i joined cause i saw a couple of my friends had. Its a shame people have to find new things and people to hate. I think the intentions of the person starting the group may have been to have an admiration site of sorts but its way off track now, i'm wondering why they don't delete all the hate propaganda.


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## rollhandler (Aug 11, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Its weird. I have had very little negative expereince being an fa in real life and then i come to a place like dimensions which is Fa friendly. I join a facebook site, called "chubby girls are hot" or something like that (I saw a couple of my friends were members) and i was SO shocked at the Fa bashing from the women there! Jebus! I'm wondering if this is just the rantings of a few people who have the wrong end of the stick or if generally this is what most people think of Fa's. You see i have no idea of knowing because there is very little mention of Fa's anywhere; In films, Books, Music, plus all my friends are very open minded so i can't trust that its just them that are cool about Fa's.
> I don't feel good about this.



Could you give a couple of examples of the bashing you mention? There doesn't need to be names mentioned but I'll bet many of us have heard something very similar to what was being said, or had it directed at them.
Rollhandler


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## rollhandler (Aug 11, 2009)

mergirl said:


> To be honest, i think half the stuff written would make both Fa's and fat people feel shitty so it doesn't really bear repeating. The usual i guess. You can always join the group and then unjoin (something i am trying to work out how to do). This is ment to be a group celebrating big women (on a shallow level i know, plus its ment to be a fun group) but there is a discussion "Is it right to fetishise a medical problem?" I basically couldn't not answer that. For one thing i said the question doesn't actually make sense. gah! och..i think its just really anoying. These women wern't saying "i don't like when Fas do.. such snd such".. they were saying "Fa's are fucked up". I always find it really sad when people think those who find them attractive are fucked up. Says more about them really i suppose. Still pretty sad though.



I've not only heard this but had it directed at me in conversation relating to size acceptance when I mentioned my preference.
I let it roll off my back like water off of a duck.
Rollhandler


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## Observer (Aug 11, 2009)

Yeah, we hardwired FA's are really screwed up. Just like our SOs. 

We'd rather be at home playing with our wives rolls than hanging out in a bar.

We tend to be married and wouldn't turn in our license for a million dollars.

Even after decades people can tell we're committed, love one another and wonder why. All they know is that we seem to talk with one another a lot - and eat. 

When we go into restaurants we share jokes with the waitresses, eat plenty of food and leave good tips - which is why we're welcomed back. 

We're the ones people come to when they need help with projects - especially if food is involved.

If you ask us about a queston with meaning (i.e., not related to sports or celebrity intrigues) we likely know something about it.

We like animals, grandkids, our neighbors and people in general - we even go to church and believe America with all its faults is still the best nation on earth. 

We work hard, have no debts, and while not rich seem to always have enough to stuff our pie holes for another few meals and five to others as well.

We have lives beyond television and actually spend more time resdingthan watching the boob tube. We are in fact Internet savvy. 

We're all of the above and we stress people out who aren't like us - they think we're throwbacks to the fifties. Yeah, and besides these areas that we're not like them we're fat as well. Sooo - we need to be put in our place. And they try. But the barbs don't faze us, which frustrates them all the more.

Yep, we're total weirdos. My wife's at a meeting but after writing all that I'm looking forward to giving her a kiss when she gets home.

Gross? I don't think so. In fact I think I'll take a shower and douse myself in BRUT. She likes that.


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## Cors (Aug 12, 2009)

Observer said:


> Yeah, we hardwired FA's are really screwed up. Just like our SOs.
> 
> We'd rather be at home playing with our wives rolls than hanging out in a bar.
> 
> ...



If only.


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## FatAndProud (Aug 12, 2009)

i love FA's. I'd fuck you all....ALL. 

Why want something/approval that doesn't want you, FA's? Here's a fatty that wants ya


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## mergirl (Aug 12, 2009)

rollhandler said:


> Could you give a couple of examples of the bashing you mention? There doesn't need to be names mentioned but I'll bet many of us have heard something very similar to what was being said, or had it directed at them.
> Rollhandler



Well the "Is it right to fetishize a medical problem?" question was answered by a lot of crap. As i say join the facebook group and you will see what i mean.


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## mergirl (Aug 12, 2009)

FatAndProud said:


> i love FA's. I'd fuck you all....ALL.
> 
> Why want something/approval that doesn't want you, FA's? Here's a fatty that wants ya



Yay! I wish all Bbw's were like you. :wubu:


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## mediaboy (Aug 13, 2009)

fa's are some of the greatest men and women I know.


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## furious styles (Aug 13, 2009)

mediaboy said:


> fa's are some of the greatest men and women I know.



i love you too.


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## bdog (Aug 13, 2009)

I work with about 20 people... and I'm pretty sure they all know I'm an FA... or at least 90% of them know. 

I get teased a lot, but in a very friendly way. I also get the occasional, "oh you probably would've loved this girl i saw the other day..." 

There's one guy, however, whose teasing I don't quite like. He's not mean... but there's a slight edge of, "haha... dude you're great... it's hilarious that you like fat chicks." And that bothers me... cuz it's not hilarious, and i'm not some dude with odd quirks. I'm a normal person with excellent taste in women. 

So, the thing about this one guy is that he used to be fat and he works out like 4 times a week and he likes really athletic women. I'm not saying he's got issues, but somehow he's developed a very strong core belief about what's attractive, and it'd be pretty hard to get him to attempt to see another viewpoint because he's just not the most open-minded guy in the world either. I still like him a bunch, though.. but I just have to be able to take a step back when I think about the way he thinks about my tastes. It's not personal. 

So, yes, it's sad, but don't let 'em get to you!!! Ultimately you don't need their approval.

ps I had my naivete ruined the other day in a similar situation, but it wasn't about the bbw/fa thing. i got furious, and then cried. the world can be mean sometimes.


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## mergirl (Aug 13, 2009)

bdog said:


> So, yes, it's sad, but don't let 'em get to you!!! Ultimately you don't need their approval.
> 
> ps I had my naivete ruined the other day in a similar situation, but it wasn't about the bbw/fa thing. i got furious, and then cried. the world can be mean sometimes.



Sorry, the world made you mad at it! I usually find its the people in the world that are the things that cause the madness.
Yeah, you know, i didn't feel like i needed thier approval nor that they even 'got' to me. Out of my group of friends i think i'm one of the most sexually open and am usually the one encouraging eveyone else to open up about thier sexualities/fantasies etc. Call me Dr Ruth!. lol. It wasn't that. I am very confident in both my gender and Fa sexual identities. As far as i'm concerned if anyone has a problem with my sexuality, then its 'their' problem. I think it was the sheer volume of Fa hate on one page. Just seeing it there. I was thinking i would feel the same if it was anti-gay but somehow i am ready for that. Plus gay people are 'out' in the world, we have queer musicians, talk show hosts, comedians, actors, MP's....etc etc... We only have 'suspected' Fa's where people can see them. It sort of feels like we don't have a support network. Well we have here i guess. 
Hmm.. Why don't you all join me on this particular post and spread some of your Fa wisdom?. 
Maby it wont work, but maby it will make people think even for a second that maby, just maby they are wrong about us.


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## Tau (Aug 13, 2009)

mergirl said:


> To be honest, i think half the stuff written would make both Fa's and fat people feel shitty so it doesn't really bear repeating. The usual i guess. You can always join the group and then unjoin (something i am trying to work out how to do). This is ment to be a group celebrating big women (on a shallow level i know, plus its ment to be a fun group) but there is a discussion "Is it right to fetishise a medical problem?" I basically couldn't not answer that. For one thing i said the question doesn't actually make sense. gah! och..i think its just really anoying. These women wern't saying "i don't like when Fas do.. such snd such".. they were saying "Fa's are fucked up". I always find it really sad when people think those who find them attractive are fucked up. Says more about them really i suppose. Still pretty sad though.



*smishes you*


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## mergirl (Aug 13, 2009)

Tau said:


> *smishes you*


Aww..thank you for my smish!! :wubu:


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## Elfcat (Aug 13, 2009)

I don't know, I think my wife could give you some pretty good answers about celebrity intrigue as well. 

I do occasionally take a break from subversive reading to watch TMZ and The Soup with her.... <high voice> IT'S MILEY!!! <raspy voice> IT'S LINDSAY!!!


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## thatgirl08 (Aug 13, 2009)

bdog said:


> And that bothers me... cuz it's not hilarious, and i'm not some dude with odd quirks. I'm a normal person with excellent taste in women.



I love this, haha.


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## PeriodicLurker (Aug 13, 2009)

Cors said:


> Almost ALL the fat chicks I know _in person_ think FAs are sick.
> 
> They do have an unhealthy amount of body hate though, and are always on one diet or another.


Holy crap. That's pretty disheartening and makes me feel like a fool for ever expressing desire for a BBW in public. Were all my former co-workers at the restaurant I used to work at secretly mocking me when I would express desire for a bigger girl?!? 

It's improbable that every one of these women has had an experience with some truly screwed up fetishist, so the most likely explanation is that these women are still holding out hope that their next fad diet is gonna magically morph 'em into Jennifer Garner and so they use that hope to feel superior. 

When these hateful shrills wake up at 50 childless, loveless, and embittered, maybe they'll realize they shouldn't have mocked the (few) men who actually found 'em attractive back when they still had a shot.


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## superodalisque (Aug 13, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Its weird. I have had very little negative expereince being an fa in real life and then i come to a place like dimensions which is Fa friendly. I join a facebook site, called "chubby girls are hot" or something like that (I saw a couple of my friends were members) and i was SO shocked at the Fa bashing from the women there! Jebus! I'm wondering if this is just the rantings of a few people who have the wrong end of the stick or if generally this is what most people think of Fa's. You see i have no idea of knowing because there is very little mention of Fa's anywhere; In films, Books, Music, plus all my friends are very open minded so i can't trust that its just them that are cool about Fa's.
> I don't feel good about this.



do you think your positive experience here may be because you aren't a guy? or does it matter at all? 

maybe the negative experiences are because, as i often find, that the BBW community is kind of odd and artificial in ways that really does not bring out the best in people sometimes. i think it can make some FAs confused about what is appropriate and what isn't. i think on dims people are trying very hard to push beyond at least some of the artificiality even though its a big challenge.

in public a lot of BBWs talk about thier ideal expectations which are not different from that of other women. but according to a lot of FAs i know, a lot of that is thrown out of the window in private. sometimes people do things or accept things when they are actually around FAs and get mad at themselves and the guy later when they feel some twinges. 

then also there is the disappointment when online rhetoric (if you are talking about online related experiences) especially does not live up to reality. its not because FAs are necessarily bad people or anything like that. its just that sometimes people go too far online. all kinds of promises are made in the heat of the moment without having ever met. i think a lot of that is really authentic to a certian level. but sometimes there isn't a lot of are experience behind it. 

then also quite a few BBWs are inexperienced as well. i think they find the things newly released FAs go through a little unsettling. most people go through those kinds of things in high school and college. a BBW or an FA may not get the chance until thier 30s or even later. if FAs weren't dating then the fickleness that some men might have when they are just getting the opportunity to really discover themselves as men is unsettling. i mean if you are a 45 yr old woman, as i am ,and a man is behaving like a teenager who just left the house with a spanking brand new drivers license you might get kind of exasperated. i'm not sure that FFAs go through that as much. it doesn't seem that they do but then again i have no real idea--just going by the little i've read and seen. you tell me. so when you look around and compare it to what you go through with non -FAs ( or maybe i should say guys who have always liked fat girls even if not exclusvely and have always ben unashamedly out) it can look pretty bad by comparison. 

on top of that add the net effect. like someone said elsewhere people seldom come here to talk about thier good experiences. maybe we need to make a more conscious effort to talk about the FFAs and FAs that we know who are caring thoughtful and loving. we don't want people to get the impression that everyone is horrible--because they aren't. i know some really beautiful FAs who have totally dispelled all of the negative notions a lot of BBWs might get just by meeting them once. 

in that spirit there is one in particular i know who is such a wonderful gentleman that just by meeting him he has helped a lot of women feel that there is hope and there are guys out there who can really care about them and appreciate them at the same time without games or reservations or total objectification at all times. some dims girls know him. he has treated none of us with anything but respect. too bad he doesn't have the time to come here. he is very active IRL. but unfortunately like a lot of guys like that he also doesn't like the way that that the community focuses on BBWs or FAs so it isn't really his taste. for example, he really resented the way that strangers were asking him about his sexual preference at events and always assumed that the women he talked with were just of a sexual interest to him. he hated that he was always being asked whether he liked bellies , thighs etc... --even by the women. i think he was insulted that he was treated as though he would never think the person was important. he felt like meat and he felt that other people were viewed as meat. i think it was comforting for a lot of women to know that some people feel that they are important and not only the meat they happened to have hanging on them. so they aren't dreaming when they think an FA can really like thier body and care how they feel. they didn't feel quite as disillusioned after meeting him.


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## bdog (Aug 14, 2009)

PeriodicLurker said:


> When these hateful shrills wake up at 50 childless, loveless, and embittered, maybe they'll realize they shouldn't have mocked the (few) men who actually found 'em attractive back when they still had a shot.




Stepping back, I'd say these hateful shrills direct as much hate towards themselves as they do to others, which is sad.

Being calm, unflappable and unashamed in the face of attacks is probably enough to change mind or two, or at least get the wheels turning. Reacting with disgust accomplishes nothing. :bow:


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## mergirl (Aug 14, 2009)

superodalisque said:


> do you think your positive experience here may be because you aren't a guy? or does it matter at all?


I thought your post was wonderful and it gave me a lot to think about. I just want to focus on this bit for now because actually, its something i have never thought about before and i just realised its importance.
Yes. I believe my experiences here and in real life as an Fa have been positive because i am a woman. Hmm i was going to say the fact i date women may make it even easier in ways but i need to think about that more. I say this because in the lesbian community, being fat is sort of seen as part of it all. Normally ascociated with Butch women, but i have always been around women who dated big women. There is no 'Fa' about it (even though there might be) if you know what i mean? 
I think maby i feel more acceptance here because i am a woman. I don't really subscribe to the tribal catty woman sterotype but if it were true to a certain degree to a small amount of people, i am inoffensive because i am not going to take anyones men. Secondly, i am accepted more by woman because i am a woman myself i think. I am not really thin either... Hmm though, i guess if i was some sleazy, learing woman who Pm'ed women asking them their breast measurements, i'm sure they would get just as sick of me if a guy did that.
I can understand your fa friend not wanting to be a part of the labeling and measuring of people that goes on. A lot of the time i wish this wasn't the case either. 
Do you really think male Fa's get a harder time here? I didn't really notice. I suppose i notice when people are getting a pounding because they are being really rude or overtly sexual when no one knows them.


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## frankman (Aug 14, 2009)

I think that for male FA's it's perhaps a little harder, but that thought is totally unsubstantiated. I wouldn't know.

Also, I assume it's harder for hard-core FA's than for people who are (here it comes, my favorite word since I've seen it being used here) bi-sizual, because at least they have an overlap in taste. If you like big people exclusively, it might get harder to relate for (some) other people.


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## mergirl (Aug 14, 2009)

frankman said:


> I think that for male FA's it's perhaps a little harder, but that thought is totally unsubstantiated. I wouldn't know.
> 
> Also, I assume it's harder for hard-core FA's than for people who are (here it comes, my favorite word since I've seen it being used here) bi-sizual, because at least they have an overlap in taste. If you like big people exclusively, it might get harder to relate for (some) other people.


yeah well being gay is harder than being a male Fa and being a woman is harder than being a man. So you are top trumphed squire!!!! 
hmm..i would have thought it would be less easy for bi-sizuals here because many people prefer (and i remember a thread about this) those who are just into fat people. I think in the real world you may be right though. In many cases the hardest choice is not the default option. You cant help who you fall in love with of course, but i have many bi female friends who are with guys and they have admitted the actively looked for guys because it would be less hassle with family etc... though obviously if they met someone and fell in love it would be different.


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## Tad (Aug 14, 2009)

If you are interested in/compatible with 1% of group X, and 20% of group Y, but group X is 20 times bigger than group Y, then there are equal numbers of people you are compatible with from both groups (just more filtering to find them in group X).

Which is essentially my theory on why a lot of self-proclaimed FA end up with thinner women, and also probably makes sense with a lot of bi-sexual people.


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## frankman (Aug 14, 2009)

mergirl said:


> yeah well being gay is harder than being a male Fa and being a woman is harder than being a man. So you are top trumphed squire!!!!



I am a straight male bisizual. I feel like the luckiest dude in te world now!


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## mergirl (Aug 14, 2009)

frankman said:


> I am a straight male bisizual. I feel like the luckiest dude in te world now!


yeah, man.. you just don't know the hardships AT ALL!! Hmm though we do both like fat chicks, so lets go for a beer and talk about that! 
whoaah listen to me being all butch.. 'Beer'! 
I ment we should go for a nice pinot grigio. *smack* (oh, that was the sound of my lips not something from my torture chamber)


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## rollhandler (Oct 26, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Sorry, the world made you mad at it! I usually find it's the people in the world that are the things that cause the madness.
> Yeah, you know, I didn't feel like I needed their approval nor that they even 'got' to me. Out of my group of friends I think I'm one of the most sexually open and am usually the one encouraging everyone else to open up about their sexualities/fantasies etc. Call me Dr Ruth!. lol. It wasn't that. I am very confident in both my gender and Fa sexual identities. *As far as I'm concerned if anyone has a problem with my sexuality, then its 'their' problem*. I think it was the sheer volume of Fa hate on one page. Just seeing it there. I was thinking i would feel the same if it was anti-gay but somehow I am ready for that. Plus gay people are 'out' in the world, we have queer musicians, talk show hosts, comedians, actors, MP's....etc etc... We only have 'suspected' Fa's where people can see them. It sort of feels like we don't have a support network. Well we have here I guess.
> Hmm.. Why don't you all join me on this particular post and spread some of your Fa wisdom?.
> Maybe it wont work, but maybe it will make people think even for a second that maybe, just maybe they are wrong about us.



Hate and prejudice in any form is not inherent. It must be taught and learned somewhere.
What makes it easy for me to let it roll off my back is the knowledge of who has the problem. I am confident in who I am. I am secure in my preference. If others have a problem with me or my preference, It is THEIR problem, and although I may not like it, they are entitled to their opinions, biases, and prejudices. I am not obligated to enjoy or pay them attention. I do have the choice to either educate, let their ignorance and hate speech get to me, or simply leave the place where it is happening. The unfortunate part of this is that their prejudices have teachers all over society and media that tell them how right they are to think this way. FAs have only ourselves and each other to refute that way of thinking.
Rollhandler


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## OIFMountaineer (Oct 26, 2009)

Cors said:


> Almost ALL the fat chicks I know _in person_ think FAs are sick.
> 
> They do have an unhealthy amount of body hate though, and are always on one diet or another.



This is sad and mind-boggling all at once. I understand having body issues, I doubt there are too many people who like every aspect of their body/face. BUT, to dislike the people who find you attractive just the way you are? In their mind, they must feel like they are either destined to find one of "those sickos", a person who is "slumming", or alone. 



bdog said:


> I get teased a lot, but in a very friendly way. I also get the occasional, "oh you probably would've loved this girl i saw the other day..."



I get this all the time. Everyone who knows me knows my preference, and even if they don't know me that well, it's usually pointed out to them. The upside to this? You have legions of scouts out there, all on the hunt for someone for you!  




mergirl said:


> hmm..i would have thought it would be less easy for bi-sizuals here because many people prefer (and i remember a thread about this) those who are just into fat people. I think in the real world you may be right though.



The only time I ever seem to have any problem is when I go out with/date a thinner girl. Case in point: I dated this girl for about six months. A pretty girl, not skinny, but somewhat thinner than my norm, I guess. Enough for it to be noticed. The grief I took for breaking up with her was horrendous. You can imagine the inquisition I took. The thing is, she was a drama queen with more issues than Time Magazine, and everyone knew it. Still no one could understand why I would want to leave her.


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## Russ2d (Oct 30, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Yay! I wish all Bbw's were like you. :wubu:



So do I Mergirl (3 cheers to you FatandProud) 

I know EXACTLY what you mean Mergirl. When I first found the "fat community" I was an FA in heaven, until I discovered the sheer numbers of nasty 'I hate you' types to be found within.

The amount of FA bashing (and FAs who bash themselves- a growing number I think!) is depressing at first (these days it just makes me angry). Like previous posters have said some of it, maybe most of it comes from self-loathing people.

We honest real positive types just need to stick together and aggressively defend ourselves!


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## FatAndProud (Oct 30, 2009)

Russ2d said:


> We honest real positive types just need to stick together and aggressively defend ourselves!



(and have some steamy, fat orgy. :wubu


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## weaverof (Nov 3, 2009)

Oh fatandproud why did you have to live so far away? Sigh* no orgy.


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## FatAndProud (Nov 3, 2009)

weaverof said:


> Oh fatandproud why did you have to live so far away? Sigh* no orgy.


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## mergirl (Nov 4, 2009)

That clowns sad face just totally encapsulates someone who has realised that infact there will be no orgy. lmao


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## joswitch (Nov 4, 2009)

bdog said:


> I work with about 20 people... and I'm pretty sure they all know I'm an FA... or at least 90% of them know.
> 
> I get teased a lot, but in a very friendly way. I also get the occasional, "oh you probably would've loved this girl i saw the other day..."
> 
> There's one guy, however, whose teasing I don't quite like. He's not mean... but there's a slight edge of, "haha... dude you're great... it's hilarious that you like fat chicks." And that bothers me... cuz it's not hilarious, and i'm not some dude with odd quirks. I'm a normal person with excellent taste in women.



I am some dude with odd quirks. But loving cute fat girls isn't one of them! A lot of my friends seem to find it kinda funny, but then I'm an amusing guy. I only pull up this one guy who seems to think diggging cute fat chicks is a fetish. Again, I have fetishes. Loving big girls ain't one.


> So, the thing about this one guy is that he used to be fat and he works out like 4 times a week and he likes really athletic women. I'm not saying he's got issues, but somehow he's developed a very strong core belief about what's attractive, and it'd be pretty hard to get him to attempt to see another viewpoint because he's just not the most open-minded guy in the world either. I still like him a bunch, though.. but I just have to be able to take a step back when I think about the way he thinks about my tastes. It's not personal.



Yeah, the most negative reactions I get are from people who learn / know that I like big girls and who invest lots of time and energy in trying very, very hard to NOT be fat, cos they HATE being fat - although it's their body's natural default.(Two girls I know in RL spring to mind. And no I never "hit on" either of them.) They're PROJECTING their problems onto me (us). By externalising those issues it makes it easier for them: It's less painful to hate at me / us / FAs, than to hate themselves (which is what is really going on, in many instances).Sad both ways.


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## wrench13 (Nov 8, 2009)

Frankly not surprised by the general tone of that facebook group. We ( Dimmers) tend to forget that we are a VERY small subset of general society, both FAs , and Fat folks who are at least on their way to acceptance. 

My ex-wife was one of the 'FAs are sick" types (which came out in counceling). FAs, if you are lucky enough to find a mate who accepts your admiriation, feel very priviledged! 

And... why the heck ISN'T there a scheduled fat orgy???


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## MrRabbit (Nov 26, 2009)

I think a lot of women hate their body so much, that they can't understand that someone else loves it. They are sick of their body and thus men who lve that body must be sick as well.

Or they think you love them just for their body, not for anything else.

Being a BBW admirer is part of who I am, but when I am dating, I am very carefull when, how and to whom I bring up the size acceptance topic, because it might scare them off.


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## mergirl (Nov 26, 2009)

MrRabbit said:


> I think a lot of women hate their body so much, that they can't understand that someone else loves it. They are sick of their body and thus men who lve that body must be sick as well.
> 
> Or they think you love them just for their body, not for anything else.
> 
> Being a BBW admirer is part of who I am, but when I am dating, I am very carefull when, how and to whom I bring up the size acceptance topic, because it might scare them off.


I am very careful to bring up the issue that i love big woman at the outset because the people who will be scared off by that are really not the type of women for me anyway! Best to cut the shit and not waste time!


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## MrRabbit (Dec 2, 2009)

What you say is true, but on the other hand in the small country where I live there are not many BBWs and size acceptance is virtually non-existent, so it often comes as a shock to them that there are actually men who like big women. The chances of finding someone who is confident with size acceptance are close to zero...


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## pickleman357 (Dec 12, 2009)

Here's something to throw at them. Reword it as you see fit as my engish sucks.

Men love breasts. This is an undeniable truth.
Breasts are at least 2/3 fat giving them their shape, softness, bounce, etc. which is what guys like. 
Therefore breast love = fat love.
So we can conclude that;
Men love fat.

So, if men love fat in breasts why is it so hard to accept that men love fat in other places as well? Like hips, belly, theighs, etc. where they can enjoy more of that wonderful shape, softness, bounce, etc. 

Cheers!

(You can change the word men to whatever the situation is!  )


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## Wagimawr (Dec 12, 2009)

Works for me  I've always felt that fat women had more of what make women sexy.


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## mergirl (Dec 13, 2009)

Wagimawr said:


> Works for me  I've always felt that fat women had more of what make women sexy.


And..this line works for you does it??


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## indy500tchr (Dec 13, 2009)

pickleman357 said:


> Here's something to throw at them. Reword it as you see fit as my engish sucks.
> 
> Men love breasts. This is an undeniable truth.
> Breasts are at least 2/3 fat giving them their shape, softness, bounce, etc. which is what guys like.
> ...



Oh if only that were totally true. Most men like the boob fat and stop at that. The would rather have the rest be a small hard body.

I have been very disheartened by FA's here lately. The only think they seem to do is focus on my fat. They don't want to get to know me as a person. To them I am just fat and that's what they want to "get to know" up close and personal. I'm sorry but I am a person first. With a personality... my body should be secondary. Get to know *ME* first and then you can get to know the fat.


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## Wagimawr (Dec 13, 2009)

mergirl said:


> And..this line works for you does it??


I dunno, how do you like it?


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## mergirl (Dec 14, 2009)

indy500tchr said:


> I have been very disheartened by FA's here lately. The only think they seem to do is focus on my fat. They don't want to get to know me as a person. To them I am just fat and that's what they want to "get to know" up close and personal. I'm sorry but I am a person first. With a personality... my body should be secondary. Get to know *ME* first and then you can get to know the fat.



I can imagine a lot of people feel like that. There are lots of 'Fa's here who are not meerly fat fetishists and who would like to know the rest of you too. Though, i'm guessing if you were not fat, the whole getting to know the rest of you wouldn't be happening for any sexual/partnership intention by any Fa's and thats just the way they are made. Its sort of a double edged sword disliking Fa's who like your body first because in general us shallow humans seem to go on psysical first impressions. I agree though that it seems here that 'Fa's' seem to Focus on fat a lot of the time but i guess thats what this website is more of less for.


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## mergirl (Dec 14, 2009)

Wagimawr said:


> I dunno, how do you like it?


Sure.  I would just sort of go with 'wow, you have the most amazingly beautiful eyes' or when you listen to someone talking about their life or the things they have done you can compliment them on these things. If that doesnt work for you you can go with the 'cause you are fatter you are like 3 women rolled into one making you oober womanly'.. I think that may be a last ditch attempt though.. well that or lots of booze!


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## pickleman357 (Dec 14, 2009)

indy500tchr said:


> Oh if only that were totally true. Most men like the boob fat and stop at that. The would rather have the rest be a small hard body.
> 
> I have been very disheartened by FA's here lately. The only think they seem to do is focus on my fat. They don't want to get to know me as a person. To them I am just fat and that's what they want to "get to know" up close and personal. I'm sorry but I am a person first. With a personality... my body should be secondary. Get to know *ME* first and then you can get to know the fat.


 
That's just guys in general. There's a TV show on spike I think where its hidden cameras watching guys pick up random women to have sex with them. Sad, yes I know, but there it is. And of course all the women are skinny.

So its not an FA thing, its a guy thing and yes, guys are horny pigs.:doh:

But yes, I sympathize with you.


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## Wagimawr (Dec 14, 2009)

mergirl said:


> If that doesnt work for you you can go with the 'cause you are fatter you are like 3 women rolled into one making you oober womanly'.. I think that may be a last ditch attempt though.. well that or lots of booze!


Booze, definitely booze.

/creeper

It's not a handed-out compliment, it's an answer to the question "why do you like fat girls?" I agree, it's a pretty shitty compliment.


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## Weirdo890 (Dec 14, 2009)

mergirl said:


> Its weird. I have had very little negative expereince being an fa in real life and then i come to a place like dimensions which is Fa friendly. I join a facebook site, called "chubby girls are hot" or something like that (I saw a couple of my friends were members) and i was SO shocked at the Fa bashing from the women there! Jebus! I'm wondering if this is just the rantings of a few people who have the wrong end of the stick or if generally this is what most people think of Fa's. You see i have no idea of knowing because there is very little mention of Fa's anywhere; In films, Books, Music, plus all my friends are very open minded so i can't trust that its just them that are cool about Fa's.
> I don't feel good about this.



They're just a bunch of cowardly dicks. The Internet offers anonymity, so people can say whatever they want. I bet if you confronted them about it, they would clam up. If they stand by their statement, then you have the right to shoot them.


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## Gspoon (Dec 14, 2009)

Tbh, I am not surprised I have not received more FA hate since I have come out of my closet. It is easy to throw FAs into a feeder category as well. But that is another topic for another time.

Perhaps it is because we like women who are big. Being overweight hasn't been controversial really, mostly because people don't see any upside to it. It is normal to ask an FA "Uh, so you are okay with (Him/Her) being overweight? What if they become unhealthy"

We aren't monsters, we know what is good and what is bad. Although many of us think with our sexual preference in mind, some of us are actually human beings underneath. There will be days where I will get slammed down because of what I like, my friends will mock me so on and so forth. Who cares? I do not. I am a human being, that loves other human beings that just so happen to be carrying an extra few. I won't apologize for who I am because I like fat girls.

I am an FA, I am a human being. What you see is what you get.


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## disconnectedsmile (Dec 15, 2009)

FatAndProud said:


> i love FA's. I'd fuck you all....ALL.
> 
> Why want something/approval that doesn't want you, FA's? Here's a fatty that wants ya



hey, babeh. meet me at the McDonald's up the street at 7pm.

BRING A BIB.


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## mergirl (Dec 15, 2009)

disconnectedsmile said:


> hey, babeh. meet me at the McDonald's up the street at 7pm.
> 
> BRING A BIB.


A bib? lmao!! how erotic


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## Merc Mike (Dec 17, 2009)

I dont pay any attention to people anymore, specially some of the Religious arguements on Face book's polls. You have alot of trolls (Which takes some balls BTW when you put your LIVE picture on there and INFORMATION lol) and a bunch of people who think they are the BMF around.

It's all smoke and fumes in my book.

People rant/rave/venting about things they don't like. What I find funny is they definitely make fun of "Fat" people online, but get them in the same room and they are quiet as a mouse.

I tell people all the time I like some meat on some bones...they look at me weird for a moment (Face to face anyway) and then accept that I like bigger girls because hey...That's one less "Skinny" or "Petite" chick some guy who has a good paying job is chasing. LMAO

Internet has too many tough guys, dont mind them.


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## Merc Mike (Dec 17, 2009)

indy500tchr said:


> Oh if only that were totally true. Most men like the boob fat and stop at that. The would rather have the rest be a small hard body.
> 
> I have been very disheartened by FA's here lately. The only think they seem to do is focus on my fat. They don't want to get to know me as a person. To them I am just fat and that's what they want to "get to know" up close and personal. I'm sorry but I am a person first. With a personality... my body should be secondary. Get to know *ME* first and then you can get to know the fat.



-raises hand- I actually dont care about boobs. They are nice, but mostly just a bonus for me lol I like Rear and Legs, but most importantly cute face. yea I'm shallow.  

And you've been hanging around the wrong Men...-shrugs- I usually spark interest FIRST through physical attraction, but It wont lead me to be a stupid "Hey baby...what's shaking?" kind of moron, I usually wait, talk to them, see what they like, what they don't like...if they dont like
A Any Concept of Video Games (If you can't even like Guitar Hero or Rock Band, there is something WRONG with you!)
B multiple types of music genres (If they are just one, kind of kills the personality for me @[email protected])
C All types of food Weither it be veggies to meat, fast food to sit down, I love all type usually. If they are stuck in the habit of one type, they will be sadly mistaken with me. lol I spoil my friends and lady friends mostly to any type of food. I can do healthy stuff from apple bees, to Greasy stuff from Steak and Shake (mmmm double steak burgers and some old school milk shakes. YUM!)
D Kids (Not having them, but dont like them in general, =/ I love kids regardless, I'm randomly like, freaking people out in the grocery store when I'm waving to their kid or making faces to make them smile or giggle...lmao I'm just stoopid like that.  Seeing a kid happy usually brightens my day and I can't wait to have one or two of my own.)
E If they dont have an open mind about religion. Im in no way shape or form a religious person, infact I dont believe in one, but I do believe in Honor, Chivalry, and few insights FROM religious people like Confucius, Jesus, Etc. I like using a collection of GOOD people's thoughts and I try to push myself to be come better.


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## Sir Shrek (Dec 17, 2009)

Some people stupid and rather narrow minded people think bad of other people if your idea off attractive does not match their own!.Its such a shame people cant express their own opinions without certain people spouting rubbish!!!


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## indy500tchr (Dec 18, 2009)

Merc Mike said:


> -raises hand- I actually dont care about boobs. They are nice, but mostly just a bonus for me lol I like Rear and Legs, but most importantly cute face. yea I'm shallow.
> 
> And you've been hanging around the wrong Men...-shrugs- I usually spark interest FIRST through physical attraction, but It wont lead me to be a stupid "Hey baby...what's shaking?" kind of moron, I usually wait, talk to them, see what they like, what they don't like...if they dont like
> A Any Concept of Video Games (If you can't even like Guitar Hero or Rock Band, there is something WRONG with you!)
> ...



Who are you and where have you been all my life???


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## kilo riley (Dec 19, 2009)

pickleman357 said:


> Here's something to throw at them. Reword it as you see fit as my engish sucks.
> 
> Men love breasts. This is an undeniable truth.
> Breasts are at least 2/3 fat giving them their shape, softness, bounce, etc. which is what guys like.
> ...



well because men have been socialized to conform to prefer a certain body type in women. Men have been socialized to enjoy the fat in breasts but that doesn't transfer to the stomach or thighs .


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