# I want to rope a fat man(for bhms)



## babygidget (Dec 26, 2005)

I'm not sure what to do, I met a very cute and sweet large bellied BHM online, met him in person and I have not heard from him yet???? Should I make the first move???? Email him first or wait for him to make the first move, I would rather he make the first move but I don't know if he liked me or not, wouldn't he have asked me out when we saw each other if he did like me?? I'm a tall average weight girl, maybe he only liked bigger girls??? I'm perplexed.  Gidge


----------



## LarryTheShiveringChipmunk (Dec 26, 2005)

go for it! can't hurt eh?


----------



## Fat Gary NYC (Dec 27, 2005)

You didn't say anything about how the meeting went. Maybe he thought 'now that she's seen me in person, she's no longer interested'?

If you're really interested in this guy, I say you should make the first move. If someone were interested in me I'd be flattered if she told me so.


----------



## BigFusionNYC (Dec 27, 2005)

My advice to you is to just casually e-mail him, like a FWD joke and then later on be like Oh my email's been acting funny, just wanted to say hi cutie, drop me a line 

Remember, I'm always right sometimes.....go for it!


----------



## Big-Phil (Dec 28, 2005)

Just go for it, sometimes us BHMs need to be told clearly that women are interested in us!


----------



## Zackariah (Dec 28, 2005)

Life is too short to wait for others to make the first move. It's entirely possible he's doing the exact same thing. The worst thing that could happen would be for him to say no... but isn't it worth the risk?

I've always thought that honesty is the best foundation for a relationship, if you intend it to last. I don't see the point in playing games... after all, if in fact they don't want a relationship, I'd rather be alone than waste my time on that kind of emotional rollercoaster.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Dec 28, 2005)

Yeah, go ahead and hit him up. The worst that could happen is that he's not interested and you're no worse off. Drop him a line.


----------



## EvilBob (Dec 28, 2005)

If he doesnt reply, you drop me a note! :smitten:


----------



## babygidget (Dec 28, 2005)

I couldn't help myself, I had to hug him after our lunch date to feel his belly up against me !!! Maybe he was scared of me after that!!!! If a girl make a first move to touch a big man does it frighten him??? Why is it so hard to let a big man know that he is attractive???? Its almost like he has to be hit over the head.:doh:


----------



## bigcheese211 (Dec 28, 2005)

i cant speak for all big men but it doesnt frighten me, especially if i find you attractive as well.. but thats just me.. hug me anytime babe..


----------



## EvilBob (Dec 28, 2005)

babygidget said:


> I couldn't help myself, I had to hug him after our lunch date to feel his belly up against me !!! Maybe he was scared of me after that!!!! If a girl make a first move to touch a big man does it frighten him??? Why is it so hard to let a big man know that he is attractive???? Its almost like he has to be hit over the head.:doh:



Wow... I would love random hugs to feel my belly! lol...


----------



## LarryTheShiveringChipmunk (Dec 28, 2005)

heck id love to have a lady randomly hug me


----------



## babygidget (Dec 29, 2005)

I didn't hear from the fat man that I was trying to rope, so cute 6 foot 350 plus, Oh well, I guess I have to get a skinny one and feed him home made peanut butter cookies until he gains some weight!!!:eat2: Any of you chubby guys want to chat, I'm here,


----------



## EvilBob (Dec 29, 2005)

You can always come scoop me up, Kat! 45 minutes away... 6'4", 350lbs of sexy big guy!


----------



## Jeannie (Dec 29, 2005)

EvilBob said:


> 6'4", 350lbs of sexy big guy!



Good Grief!! It just gets better and better. 

Run, don't walk babygidget! 45 minutes? I'd crawl on my hands and knees if I had to!


----------



## Fat Gary NYC (Dec 31, 2005)

babygidget said:


> If a girl make a first move to touch a big man does it frighten him???


In my case, it does.  It wouldn't repel me, but I'd probably freeze up and get all stiff...  well, I meant nervous but I guess that other kind of stiff as well...  



babygidget said:


> Why is it so hard to let a big man know that he is attractive????


When Ed Koch had his radio show on WABC, he'd often say "I can explain it to you, but I can't comprehend it for you" to a caller who wasn't getting his point.

Similarly, you can _tell_ me you find me attractive... you can _say the words,_ but it would be difficult for me to believe it. Not because I'd think you were being insincere, but because I'm not the kind of guy women find attractive. Guys like me almost never hear "you had me at hello," so if someone were to come along who genuinely, authentically, really _did_ feel that way about me I wouldn't believe it.



babygidget said:


> Its almost like he has to be hit over the head.:doh:


When it comes to me... you do. :shocked: And even _then..._


----------



## Jane (Dec 31, 2005)

Guys, please, please, don't do the freeze up thing to us. It is so hard to be an assertive woman when it comes to sex. Then to see an adverse reaction sure sets you back. It gets really difficult to make the move again with either this person or the next one.

Understand that if she didn't find you attractive, most women would not have built up the courage to make the move.


----------



## EvilBob (Dec 31, 2005)

It is hard to be assertive as a man too sometimes, and personally, I am tired of being in control in the sex department! It is nerve-wracking -- with a new relationship especially.

I would love a woman who just knew what she wanted and wasnt shy about it!

Demure has its place, but not in my bed!

XOXO
EB


----------



## Jane (Dec 31, 2005)

We know (or at least hope) it's hard to be a man. ROFL

Sorry, smut mind.

It's the beginning of relationship moves that are hard for me. After that I "throw" 'em "around like a rag doll" at least that was the request I had this week.


----------



## missaf (Dec 31, 2005)

Most of them men, fat men, I've been with prefer to keep at a distance, the "just pals" out in public, but when behind closed doors, and I insist on throwing them around like rag dolls and I let them know their size is incredibly attractive. I'm not afraid to use *my* size to accentuate the fun, they start to see what I'm talking about. 

The only thing I absolutely insist on, is belly to belly cuddling or spooning, where I can show just how much fun his belly is to me


----------



## Jane (Dec 31, 2005)

Well, in public, I don't want them riding my leg like a crazed little dog....other than that, though......


----------



## missaf (Dec 31, 2005)

Jane said:


> Well, in public, I don't want them riding my leg like a crazed little dog....other than that, though......



By "pals" I mean, rarely even holding hands, elbowing each other, etc... After about a month or so though, watch out!


----------



## Jane (Dec 31, 2005)

I'm just in a mood today (everyday), so just ignore me. 

Depends on the relationship. Depends on the man.


----------



## LarryTheShiveringChipmunk (Dec 31, 2005)

..or the rodent


----------



## Jane (Dec 31, 2005)

or the rodent....is correct.


----------



## LarryTheShiveringChipmunk (Dec 31, 2005)

yay! do i win a prize!


----------



## Jane (Dec 31, 2005)

But of course......here we have this lovely set of fire extinguishers....for use only in case of full blown blazes. Smoldering fires are excluded.


----------



## LarryTheShiveringChipmunk (Dec 31, 2005)

*aims at my face* *turns on* WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Thud


----------



## Jane (Dec 31, 2005)

"I give it an 85, it has a good beat, and you can dance to it."....nice dance, Chippy.


----------



## HoustonBrian (Jan 1, 2006)

Well I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out for you hon. I guess it may have scared because he may never have experienced a woman really finding him attractive. I'm in Houston and I am a BHM and I would love to know you. You seem like such a sweetheart to me. So feel free to drop me a line if you want to chat. Take care, Brian houstonbrian on yahoo


----------



## Single26Female (Jan 2, 2006)

missaf said:


> Most of them men, fat men, I've been with prefer to keep at a distance, the "just pals" out in public, but when behind closed doors, and I insist on throwing them around like rag dolls and I let them know their size is incredibly attractive. I'm not afraid to use *my* size to accentuate the fun, they start to see what I'm talking about.
> 
> The only thing I absolutely insist on, is belly to belly cuddling or spooning, where I can show just how much fun his belly is to me




MissAF,

You would have loved my ex-fiance. He was so affectionate out in public from day one. In fact, I was the one who had to get used to it...

He was 100% comfortable with being a big man...and helped me be ok with being a big girl. Being with him was the first time I felt truly beautiful!

I miss having someone to cuddle. You are right, once the doors are closed they are positively randy little fellas!

Hugs your way!


----------



## missaf (Jan 2, 2006)

Don't get me wrong, I think wanton lust shown out of public is not tasteful, but I do think that holding hands, a snuggle here and there and the occasional kiss out in public are great affirmations of "Look, I really think this guy is attractive!"


----------



## Dibaby35 (Jan 3, 2006)

I've had both extremes. Ex-hubby would show no affection in public. I had to grab is hand or whatever. If I went to kiss him, get this, he would look around to make sure no one was watching. Some odd reason I thought he would grow out of it after being married..nope. It's amazing what kind of a complex a girl can get from stuff like that. Anyways also had the *can't keep grabbing your ass in public* b/f too. Bahhh...there's gotta be a happy medium somewhere..LOL.


----------



## LarryTheShiveringChipmunk (Jan 3, 2006)

Im a happy medium!

Well was. Then I started buying Large shirts


----------



## chocolate desire (Jan 3, 2006)

Ok Ladies you all seem so wise and right on top of things so I would like to know how do you let a BHM(or any guy)know you are intrested in him without making him think you are putting a ball and chain around his ankle?
I have found guys like to flirt but when you flirt back it is like you said lets settle down and get married next week which is so not the case.


----------



## Jane (Jan 3, 2006)

Flirt with another guy at the same time, in front of him.

It's chitty, it's tacky, it's not what you want to do, but it lets them know you don't want a ball and chain either.

Of course, my answer to everything is to flirt hard, flirt often.


----------



## Jes (Jan 3, 2006)

chocolate desire said:


> I have found guys like to flirt but when you flirt back it is like you said lets settle down and get married next week which is so not the case.



Sing it sister. You figure it out, you be sure to share the secret with me.


----------



## Tad (Jan 3, 2006)

Jane said:


> Guys, please, please, don't do the freeze up thing to us. It is so hard to be an assertive woman when it comes to sex. Then to see an adverse reaction sure sets you back. It gets really difficult to make the move again with either this person or the next one.



Jane;

Two quick thoughts: 

- There is the "she could not possibly be attracted to me, so I must be mis-reading the situation" response that a lot of BHM (and others guys not generally viewed as hunky) have. For general flirting this makes it easy to ignore the implications. When hit with something more blatant, it can cause a brain freeze, as the brain frantically figures out what is happening. "She just hugged me, groped my love handles, and said how cute I am. But I am not cute and women do not like love handles, so she could not mean that. But what else could she mean? **TILT**" My advice would be, if you see a guy doing this, just add gently "Yes, I really do mean it, I think you are cute exactly the way you are."

- There is also the thing that a lot of BHM get the luxury of thinking of themselves as nice guys, because they've never pressured a woman for sex, played around on a girlfriend, dated two girls at once, etc. Most of this may well have been due to never having had the opportunity, but they've maybe learned to treat women nicely and been told many times that they are a "nice guy." Of course nice guys respect a women's right to control her body and won't pressure her to do anything she doesn't want to do--and we have all heard many stories of guys pushing women to move faster than the woman wanted to. But the guy may not have any experience reading the cues of a woman who does want to move things along. So they may not follow up on what (to you) seems like an obvious cue, because they don't want to risk their 'nice guy' reputation and are having a hard time believing that you want them to do whatever it is you want them to do.

Just my two cents worth.

-Ed


----------



## Jane (Jan 3, 2006)

Ed, I understand all that. 

Little girls are taught they are the "gatekeepers" and if you are interested in sex at all you are a tramp.

It makes it rather difficult to overcome the stigma. Then to have the guy you just hit on look at you like you have three heads...well, it sure makes it hard to overcome that.

We're not expecting you guys to make EVERY MOVE now, so at least smile instead of getting the deer in the headlights look and running for the door.


----------



## Tad (Jan 3, 2006)

Jane said:


> We're not expecting you guys to make EVERY MOVE now, so at least smile instead of getting the deer in the headlights look and running for the door.



Oh, personally I'm out of the game--thanks in part to the fact that my now-wife was very patient with my deer in the headlights act! I'm not disagreeing that guys _should_ respond appropriately, just pointing out reasons why a lot might not manage to, at least at first.

I remember my attitude before I met my wife:
- Accept that my looks were average at best, and hope to find some woman who was not too focussed on the physical.
- My best assets were sense of whimsy, patience, and being a really nice guy.
- I'd concluded that no women wanted to jump into bed with me, but hoped that I'd meet a woman who liked me for the inner me, and would have enough sex drive that we'd eventually have an adequate love life.
- As part of the nice guy thing, I'd never push a woman for any degree of intimacy, and would wait until after marriage for sex if that was what she wanted.

That was what I believed my life would be like. So when this gal I found interesting did things like say "we have lots of time to get home, lets go into this park, find a bench, and make out" well, it was a near thing on whether I'd panic or go along with her. Fortunately I went along with her! But I remember that strong urge to get the hell out of there, as something was clearly wrong about the situation. Now I'd say there was nothing wrong with it, but working from the assumptions I listed above it made no sense at all.

Regards;

-Ed


----------



## Jane (Jan 3, 2006)

Ed, I understand completely. Time was if a guy wanted to get close to me, he better be persistent, 'cause first of all I would check to see if he was drunk or what. Then he better make a couple of more moves before I acted interested, out of fear of humiliation. I would assume he was trying to get with my friend long before I thought he might actually be interested in me.

See what a little bravery got you? Without taking the chance, you could have still be alone, wondering why no one wanted you, when someone did the whole time.

The games we play with ourselves and others.


----------



## LarryTheShiveringChipmunk (Jan 4, 2006)

tee hee


----------



## Fatp69 (Jan 8, 2006)

Wow! Sign me up.



missaf said:


> Most of them men, fat men, I've been with prefer to keep at a distance, the "just pals" out in public, but when behind closed doors, and I insist on throwing them around like rag dolls and I let them know their size is incredibly attractive. I'm not afraid to use *my* size to accentuate the fun, they start to see what I'm talking about.
> 
> The only thing I absolutely insist on, is belly to belly cuddling or spooning, where I can show just how much fun his belly is to me


----------



## agentsmith2 (Jan 10, 2006)

chippy you rule!!!

im 5 11 350lbs and ill tell you after countless years off rejection you should just tell the guy straight up you like him.


----------



## Jes (Jan 12, 2006)

babygidget said:


> I'm not sure what to do, I met a very cute and sweet large bellied BHM online, met him in person and I have not heard from him yet???? Should I make the first move???? Email him first or wait for him to make the first move, I would rather he make the first move but I don't know if he liked me or not, wouldn't he have asked me out when we saw each other if he did like me?? I'm a tall average weight girl, maybe he only liked bigger girls??? I'm perplexed.  Gidge



How did this resolve itself, Gidge (if I missed it, mea culpa)?


----------



## missaf (Jan 12, 2006)

I only mention his name because of what was said today, but Rush Limbaugh quoted a stastic from a national survey company that stated 10 years ago, 55% of people were attracted to thin people, and that has fallen to 24% this year. He said while it's not exactly worshipping obese women like in ancient times, but it's much better than it was!


----------



## blubberboy767 (Jan 12, 2006)

I agree and go for it! Make a fatboy's day  Most of us have esteem issues and will never make the first move.


----------



## babygidget (Jan 16, 2006)

I never heard from this guy again, he was acting nervous and was quiet through out the entire date. I think a big man is sooooo much more difficult to have a date with than a skinny one, not sure why, maybe someone can shed light on this


----------



## Jackoblangada (Jan 17, 2006)

Cuz we're dumb guys with lot's o baggage. This fella probably has not had a lot of exposure to women in a date setting. He was probably terrified. We tend..and i generalize here..tend to be shy anyway. Add that to our already self loathing that many of us carry around and you get one weird guarded stand offish fat guy...especially when placed in a new and scary situation.
Not saying it's right just is. It took me a long time to come to terms with the idea that my physical aspects could be attractive to someone...but damn don't that feel good now that i do.
Just my humble two cents


----------



## fat hiker (Apr 7, 2006)

Jackoblangada said:


> Cuz we're dumb guys with lot's o baggage. This fella probably has not had a lot of exposure to women in a date setting. He was probably terrified. We tend..and i generalize here..tend to be shy anyway. Add that to our already self loathing that many of us carry around and you get one weird guarded stand offish fat guy...especially when placed in a new and scary situation.
> Not saying it's right just is. It took me a long time to come to terms with the idea that my physical aspects could be attractive to someone...but damn don't that feel good now that i do.
> Just my humble two cents




Amen, brother Jack!


----------



## Buffetbelly (Apr 7, 2006)

missaf said:


> The only thing I absolutely insist on, is belly to belly cuddling or spooning, where I can show just how much fun his belly is to me


 
Yes, the belly is almost like another appendange, and a fat belly can carress and entice a partner even while the arms and mouth are busy elsewhere. My belly is big enough to demand an embrace all its own, as it is more than two handfuls.....


----------



## Buffetbelly (Apr 7, 2006)

missaf said:


> I only mention his name because of what was said today, but Rush Limbaugh quoted a stastic from a national survey company that stated 10 years ago, 55% of people were attracted to thin people, and that has fallen to 24% this year. He said while it's not exactly worshipping obese women like in ancient times, but it's much better than it was!


 
Yikes, but how many people are attracted to Rush Limbaugh?

Better question --who would like to see a sumo wrestling match between Rush Limbaugh and Michael Moore?


----------



## Buffetbelly (Apr 7, 2006)

Jane said:


> Ed, I understand completely. Time was if a guy wanted to get close to me, he better be persistent, 'cause first of all I would check to see if he was drunk or what. Then he better make a couple of more moves before I acted interested, out of fear of humiliation. I would assume he was trying to get with my friend long before I thought he might actually be interested in me.


 
So that was you I tried to pick up in the disco in 1981. I knew it!

I had this experience, too, when I was thin. Now that I'm fat, it seems that BBW's expect the fat guy in the room to hit on them. It's no longer a shock.


----------

