# My worst doctor visit ever



## chocolate desire (Jun 1, 2006)

Today was the day I have dreaded for 3 weeks. It was time for my papsmear with a new doctor.Thinking that it might by chance go pretty smooth I walked into the office head held high only to retreat feeling lower than the sole on my shoe.I knew it was taking a turn for the worst when the nurse insisted on weighing me even though I could read on the scale maximum limit 440..after 3 ERROR readings I pointed out the 440 once again and with a little annoyance in my voice said "I told you I was 492".Then it was time to see what part of the paper gown I would opt to cover as it never covers all of me, when much to my surprise I was told there was no need to undress as their tables had a weight limit of 350.She then asked me how was it that I was able to be examed before and had I recently gained weight. You should have seen the horror in her eyes as I replied "No I have lost a bunch since my last papsmear". She left me alone as she went to comfirm when my last check up was and had they in fact been able to fit me on their table and such. In the end she came back and told me that I had two options go back to Tn for the papsmear or wait until they can find a table to hold me.I think I feel a food binge coming on to lift my spirits.


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## moonvine (Jun 1, 2006)

OMG. So sorry this went so badly.

I hope you can use this terrible experience to learn to be proactive on your next visit. 

Here are some good links on choosing fat friendly doctors:

http://www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/fat/hanne.html

http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/size_acceptance/8458

Remember, we hire our doctors, and I'd fire this one, post-haste.


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## Tad (Jun 1, 2006)

((((YOU))))

(I figure you could use a hug today).

I hope your day gets better.

-Ed


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## Zandoz (Jun 1, 2006)

{{{{{{{{{{Chocolate}}}}}}}}}}

I to had a Dr appointment today. A few weeks back I stumbled across a web site that had a feature where you could enter the meds being taken, and it would check for interactions. It came up with a big interaction with one of my diabetes meds...I'd never made the connection, but my glucose test readings had skyrocketed since the offending med. When I stopped the problem med, my levels dropped over 1/3. I tell the doctor about the interaction, and present him with a log of my readings before and after...his reaction "you can't trust what you find on the internet". 

They make ya want to scream, hit something, or chow down....I stopped and got a sack of cheese sticks on the way home.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 1, 2006)

I'm sorry to hear that Chocolate. I'm usually a fist shaker when it comes to doctor visits and shrewish medical staff but there are days when you just don't want to have to put up your dukes all the time. In a place where you should be taken care of you are greeted with just the opposite. It makes me angry on your behalf, I'm sorry you had to go through that.


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## MissChristal (Jun 1, 2006)

At 500+ lbs. I am lucky that my 1st appoint. with my new GYN last year was a breeze. I had heard from so many people that they are always questioned about being able to fit on the tables...well, I am happy to say the question never left their mouths in my GYN's office. They are a very professional and friendly group of women. I'm sorry this happened to you. Hopefully you will be able to find a nicer doctor more suited to your needs. Good luck!


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## Jane (Jun 1, 2006)

That sounds like it was all the Nurse, whose behavior should have been reported to the doctor.


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## ThatFatGirl (Jun 1, 2006)

Don't let this experience get you down, CD... You deserve better treatment than you received today! Unfortunately, sometimes we have to demand it. 

Follow the links Moonvine posted to see if there's a fat friendly doctor near you. If there is none, check your local bbw Yahoo group and post a message there asking for referrals from other bbws in the area, or on this message board for that matter if necessary. 

I would also suggest you write a letter to the doctor who you were supposed to see today and tell him or her about your experience with the staff you saw.

Big hugs to you.. hang in there


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## BBW Betty (Jun 1, 2006)

I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you. Sometimes they just don't get it, do they. I'd agree that it sounds like the Nurse is the one with the problem, and should be reported.

(((chocolate desire)))


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## chocolate desire (Jun 1, 2006)

Thanks for all of your concerns and hugs. Just knowing I could share this with people that really care and not say "well take it as a hint to lose weight" makes my day brighter..((((Hugs))) right back at you all.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jun 1, 2006)

CD, that's awful. Again, I agree with what others have said. Call the office back and report that nurse. There's no excuse for the crap with weighing you.


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## dragorat (Jun 1, 2006)

*Sis...take it as a hint to go on a binge then go back & SQUASH the shrew B****!!!!!!! 
*


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## loves2laugh (Jun 1, 2006)

((((((((choco))))))))
sorry to hear that you went through that. the first gyno i ever went to rubbed my lower abdomin and said- look at all those stretch marks and you never had a child. and that was a woman. i am happily going to a man who is a chunky little guy himself. some people have a bedside manner and some just dont


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## guelphgirly20 (Jun 1, 2006)

hey all! im 20 years old and weigh approximately 350lbs... i better not let my doc weigh me cuz i know he will not let me on the table if thats the case. he constanting shakes his head and in rude tones express how physically disgusted he is with my "GROSSLY OBESE" size. my mother is under 150 and he tells her to lose weight. once i asked what he recommended for me to lose weight... he said "dont eat for 3 months" i laughed waiting for the honest answer..... none came.... this doctor has also been heard to say to an allergic pet owner "get rid of them.. what are they good for anyways?" even though he has 2 dogs of his own... and more complaints too. i ahvent been to him in over a year because walk in clinics wont judge me, wont weigh me and wont make me feel like slitting my wrists or vomiting everything from cake to salad. i want a new doctor but living in guelph ontario there is a shortage and i dont even know how i would go about changing the doctor... and if this change would even make a difference.. i could end up with someone who makes me feel down right homicidal.


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## comngetmeFA (Jun 2, 2006)

guelphgirly20 said:


> hey all! im 20 years old and weigh approximately 350lbs... i better not let my doc weigh me cuz i know he will not let me on the table if thats the case. he constanting shakes his head and in rude tones express how physically disgusted he is with my "GROSSLY OBESE" size. my mother is under 150 and he tells her to lose weight. once i asked what he recommended for me to lose weight... he said "dont eat for 3 months" i laughed waiting for the honest answer..... none came.... this doctor has also been heard to say to an allergic pet owner "get rid of them.. what are they good for anyways?" even though he has 2 dogs of his own... and more complaints too. i ahvent been to him in over a year because walk in clinics wont judge me, wont weigh me and wont make me feel like slitting my wrists or vomiting everything from cake to salad. i want a new doctor but living in guelph ontario there is a shortage and i dont even know how i would go about changing the doctor... and if this change would even make a difference.. i could end up with someone who makes me feel down right homicidal.



Are you serious? Your doctor has actually said that he is 'disgusted' by your weight?! That is beyond unprofessional. I think you may have a quack for a doctor. New doctor. That's it. This guy is obviously a little loose in the head.


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## PrettyKitty (Jun 2, 2006)

Wow, what a horrible experience. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
You'd think that people in the medical field would act more professional. 
But, there are the great ones and then there are these ones.


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## Santaclear (Jun 2, 2006)

Sounds like a sucky visit, CD.  

The majority of doctor experiences I've had have not been good (not that I've been to many), and I'm not even really fat. I do hear about good ones tho, so I know they're out there.


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## guelphgirly20 (Jun 2, 2006)

ya but i enjoy going to plussizeplanet.ca parties in toronto and feeling like one of the sexiest girls in the room. not to mention the super sexy chubby chasers lmao that doc can kiss my fat ass lol


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## eightyseven (Jun 2, 2006)

I think it's just that the tables couldn't handle you... just think of it as it being so taken aback by holding your beauty, that it gets weak in the knees. But yeah, I hope for you that you find a more supportive doctor's office!


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## missaf (Jun 2, 2006)

I am sorry you were treated that way. Fire the doctor and interview some that you think you can work with. Keep everything in perspective and remember you're still alive and stil have a lot to enjoy in life.


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## rainyday (Jun 2, 2006)

ThatFatGirl said:


> If there is none, check your local bbw Yahoo group and post a message there asking for referrals from other bbws in the area. . . .



Great idea. Never thought of that.

(((((((CD!CD!))))))) I'm sorry this happened, toots.


This kind of thing and the responses from other posters in this thread--sharing anecdotal experience--is what I was getting at a while back when I posted about all of us here at Dim being a possible jumping off place for research. Here are all these stories, just waiting for someone to note and use to spark research, professional articles or whatever will somehow effect change. While studies are being funded on all kinds of other obscure theories, right here in black and white is one giant reason why obesity can be detrimental to health! If fat bodies can't get proper preventative care, of course they're going to ail more than others. We know it; but, the right people who should seem to be oblivious. Sorry to rant. This just irks me, and I have no clue how to begin forcing change.


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## EtobicokeFA (Jun 2, 2006)

I am sorry, that you were treated that way. I agree that you should complain about the nurses behaviour. Is the doctor any better if not, just find yourself a new one.


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## gangstadawg (Jun 2, 2006)

sorry to hear that ms desire. ass holes are every where and no way to get rid of em. not to get away from the main point of the thread but you weigh 492? how come on on mers site it says you are 610? im not trying to put you on front street or nothing just wondering.


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## MisticalMisty (Jun 2, 2006)

gangstadawg said:


> sorry to hear that ms desire. ass holes are every where and no way to get rid of em. not to get away from the main point of the thread but you weigh 492? how come on on mers site it says you are 610? im not trying to put you on front street or nothing just wondering.


OMG..why the hell does it matter..her weight is her business not yours and how utterly disrepectful of you to bring it up at such a time.

GROW UP


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## Jes (Jun 2, 2006)

rainyday said:


> Great idea. Never thought of that.
> 
> (((((((CD!CD!))))))) I'm sorry this happened, toots.
> 
> ...


I was just watching a story about this someplace--but one of the facilities that is helping in this kind of way seems to be, unfortunately, bariatric clinics. These are the sorts of places that feel compelled to purchase machines and materials for very large bodies (MRI machines, or those hovercraft-type mattresses that allow people to move a patient from 1 surface to another w/o injury to patient or employee). it's a shame that those things have to go hand in hand and not be independent of one another.

ps: hi rainy!


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## moonvine (Jun 2, 2006)

guelphgirly20 said:


> hey all! im 20 years old and weigh approximately 350lbs... i better not let my doc weigh me cuz i know he will not let me on the table if thats the case. he constanting shakes his head and in rude tones express how physically disgusted he is with my "GROSSLY OBESE" size. my mother is under 150 and he tells her to lose weight. once i asked what he recommended for me to lose weight... he said "dont eat for 3 months" i laughed waiting for the honest answer..... none came.... this doctor has also been heard to say to an allergic pet owner "get rid of them.. what are they good for anyways?" even though he has 2 dogs of his own... and more complaints too. i ahvent been to him in over a year because walk in clinics wont judge me, wont weigh me and wont make me feel like slitting my wrists or vomiting everything from cake to salad. i want a new doctor but living in guelph ontario there is a shortage and i dont even know how i would go about changing the doctor... and if this change would even make a difference.. i could end up with someone who makes me feel down right homicidal.



This sounds just terrible, and I hope that you are able to find a way to change doctors. I don't know anything about the Canadian medical system, so I can't advise you there. Maybe one of our Canadian members could help?


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## Emma (Jun 2, 2006)

gangstadawg said:


> sorry to hear that ms desire. ass holes are every where and no way to get rid of em. not to get away from the main point of the thread but you weigh 492? how come on on mers site it says you are 610? im not trying to put you on front street or nothing just wondering.



She already said she's lost weight.


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## gangstadawg (Jun 2, 2006)

CurvyEm said:


> She already said she's lost weight.


i only skimmed the thread a little. so i really didnt read the whole thing because im posting in another forum about something else thats pissing me off. and im trying to rush project done. so i sort of didnt really have the time to read it all.


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## Anguisette (Jun 2, 2006)

Remember one thing: you can refuse to be weighed. I always do. If they ask I politely say that I have a specific time and place for weigh-in and I have a personal policy not to step on a scale other than that time or place. "Not today, sorry" works as well.
If the nurse pursues (they often do, in a wheedling voice), I get politely but firmly direct and offer to discuss it with the doctor.
Any doctor who pushes it sees my back and I make sure he/she knows they are NOT to bill the insurance company for services NOT rendered.

Now, I married my endocrinologist, so it's a non-issue these days but I have walked out of many, many offices. I also reported every last one of them to the AMA and State Medical Board for harrassment. (Several were fined, all had it on their records.)


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## Tina (Jun 2, 2006)

When I was 19 and weighed about 180 lbs (after losing 90 lbs on the whiskey diet), I went to my doctor because I had a cyst of some sort where the belly meets the pubis. He had me lay down on the table and then he cut into me without numbing me. I told him it was hurting and he told me that if I wasn't so fat he wouldn't have to do it in the first place and that was my own fault (which is patently untrue -- some people are just cystic). He wouldn't stop cutting and I was yelling, shaking and sweating so much from the pain that the whole table was wet when I got up. I must have been loud, because when I walked out into the waiting room after, everyone stared at me.

I was very shy and naive back then, and it never occurred to me to turn him in to the medical board or sue him. I felt so ugly and bad about myself that in some way I felt I'd deserved it, as all my life I'd gotten crap about my weight, both from family (to one degree or another,whether outright unkind remarks, or, more frequently, being told I was unacceptable by the numerous diets I was put on) and the rest of the world. He's just lucky it happened back then and not today, because my reaction would be completely different.


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## EbonySSBBW (Jun 2, 2006)

Tina said:


> When I was 19 and weighed about 180 lbs (after losing 90 lbs on the whiskey diet), I went to my doctor because I had a cyst of some sort where the belly meets the pubis. He had me lay down on the table and then he cut into me without numbing me. I told him it was hurting and he told me that if I wasn't so fat he wouldn't have to do it in the first place and that was my own fault (which is patently untrue -- some people are just cystic). He wouldn't stop cutting and I was yelling, shaking and sweating so much from the pain that the whole table was wet when I got up. I must have been loud, because when I walked out into the waiting room after, everyone stared at me.
> 
> I was very shy and naive back then, and it never occurred to me to turn him in to the medical board or sue him. I felt so ugly and bad about myself that in some way I felt I'd deserved it, as all my life I'd gotten crap about my weight, both from family (to one degree or another,whether outright unkind remarks, or, more frequently, being told I was unacceptable by the numerous diets I was put on) and the rest of the world. He's just lucky it happened back then and not today, because my reaction would be completely different.



Tina, that is horrible and just makes me want to cry. It also makes me really angry. I'm sorry that you had to go through that.

Chocolate desire, I'm also sorry to hear about what happened to you. I can relate a bit. Last summer when I had my exam, the doctor actually left the room and came back with the nurse who proceeded to hold my inner thigh fat. That could have been handled differently. Not to mention the fact that my boyfriend was right there and was very capable of helping in that way. It's so hard to find a decent doctor.


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## Tina (Jun 3, 2006)

Thanks, Ebony. Amazing how people will treat us if they can get away with it. ChocolateDesire, that nurse should be reprimanded for her very bigoted and unprofessional behavior. 

Fortuantely, I have great doctors now. I wish everyone could.


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## swamptoad (Jun 3, 2006)

Tina said:


> When I was 19 and weighed about 180 lbs (after losing 90 lbs on the whiskey diet), I went to my doctor because I had a cyst of some sort where the belly meets the pubis. He had me lay down on the table and then he cut into me without numbing me. I told him it was hurting and he told me that if I wasn't so fat he wouldn't have to do it in the first place and that was my own fault (which is patently untrue -- some people are just cystic). He wouldn't stop cutting and I was yelling, shaking and sweating so much from the pain that the whole table was wet when I got up. I must have been loud, because when I walked out into the waiting room after, everyone stared at me.
> 
> I was very shy and naive back then, and it never occurred to me to turn him in to the medical board or sue him. I felt so ugly and bad about myself that in some way I felt I'd deserved it, as all my life I'd gotten crap about my weight, both from family (to one degree or another,whether outright unkind remarks, or, more frequently, being told I was unacceptable by the numerous diets I was put on) and the rest of the world. He's just lucky it happened back then and not today, because my reaction would be completely different.



That's totally unprofessional.


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## chocolate desire (Jun 3, 2006)

EbonySSBBW said:


> Chocolate desire, I'm also sorry to hear about what happened to you. I can relate a bit. Last summer when I had my exam, the doctor actually left the room and came back with the nurse who proceeded to hold my inner thigh fat. That could have been handled differently. Not to mention the fact that my boyfriend was right there and was very capable of helping in that way. It's so hard to find a decent doctor.



My old doctor used to do that as well.But she asked would that make me feel uncomforatable if she had a nurse come in and help her so she could do a thorough job.Also when I told her my fear of getting on the table and it flipping head over heals because all my weight at one end, she got at the head of it and put her weight on it just to make sure it stayed put(which it did without her help thanks God).I wish she had a twin that lived here in Ga.
BTW I got a call from the doctors here yesterday saying they would have to do my exam at the hospital here as an outpatient Tuesday so cross your fingers all will go ok.
I am just sad because now I won't get to show off my handsome Swede and let them know*yes Phat girls really do have sex*.


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## EbonySSBBW (Jun 3, 2006)

chocolate desire said:


> My old doctor used to do that as well.But she asked would that make me feel uncomforatable if she had a nurse come in and help her so she could do a thorough job.Also when I told her my fear of getting on the table and it flipping head over heals because all my weight at one end, she got at the head of it and put her weight on it just to make sure it stayed put(which it did without her help thanks God).I wish she had a twin that lived here in Ga.
> BTW I got a call from the doctors here yesterday saying they would have to do my exam at the hospital here as an outpatient Tuesday so cross your fingers all will go ok.
> I am just sad because now I won't get to show off my handsome Swede and let them know*yes Phat girls really do have sex*.



I wish that I had a doctor like your old doc. I no longer go to the doctor that I talked about, she should have asked me before just going to get the nurse in the middle of everything. 

Is your boyfriend coming to town?


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## autopaint-1 (Jun 3, 2006)

For you it's weight, for me it's cholesterol. My doctor takes blood like Dracula and when I tell him that I haven't fasted for the test he says, OK and then comes back with some rediculous number. He then tells me to take a prescribed pill. Reading about the meds it says it can cause liver damage. I told him that I wouldn't go on meds without a proper test. He sends me to a cardiologist and that doctor scratches his head and tells me I'm fine. Then my doctor tells me he found a test which doesn't require fasting and while my cholesterol isn't low, it's not dangerously high either. It's on the upper end of safe. So he says I'm OK and next time I'm in the office he wants me to go on meds again. I otherwise like my doctor but this society is too eager to take pills. Even the purple pill, notice they initially never told us what it was for (It's for acid reflux) but they just wanted us to ask our doctor if we can take that pill too. I know it's frustarting Renee. Sorry you have to go through it.


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## ThatFatGirl (Jun 3, 2006)

I feel pretty fortunate with my current doctors. My gynecologist is a BBW herself. She might weigh about 250-270.. She encourages me to exercise and I only really remember her talking about my weight when I had a loss (congratulations) or a gain ("is everything ok?" try to get a handle on my stress, exercise, etc.). I've stepped on the scales each time I've visited in the past, but I'm going to pass next month as I just don't want to know my current number. My regular doctor suggested weight loss surgery to me a year ago, but I told her it wasn't for me and she hasn't brought it up again. She has been after me to get bloodwork done (I've been delaying it.. I'm bad.) and she also encourages exercise every time I see her. She hasn't really given me one of those diet or die lectures that I fear. My pediatrician told me at 12 when I weighed 180 that I can be sure I'll be dead at 18 if I weigh 200 lbs. This is the same doctor who prescribed a diet pill which seemed comprised of speed for me at 9. I lost 30 lbs and gained back 40. I managed not to see a doctor (other than my ears, nose and throat specialist) again until I was 28. 

My doctor's scale only goes to 350 lbs and the staff seems to know me at this point.. they never even suggested I step on the scale the last few times I visited.


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## MoonGoddess (Jun 3, 2006)

*To those beautiful women AND men that have received harsh treatment at the hands of these so called "medical professionals"...

{{{{HUGS}}}}*


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## BeaBea (Jun 3, 2006)

Hi, 

I'm a bit late to this thread but I'm so sorry for everyone who's suffered at the hands of these horrible un-professional people. I'm sending HUGS! 

The last time I went to the Dr it was in a new town. The issue at hand was not weight related so when the Nurse asked to weigh me and I asked her 'Why?' The look on her face was a picture but as she struggled to find a reason I just said 'I'm fat, VERY fat. You already know that and theres nothing that any figure on the scales is going to tell you that you cant see from just looking at me. It would be a waste of both of our time, can we please move on?' 

Please please folks, if you are treated with rudeness let them have it back in any form you choose. Whether you go for icy dignity, screaming obscenities or a really sharply worded letter when you get home DONT let their un-professionalism go by. If you need to vent or pluck up courage you know you will get all the support you need here on this board! 

Ok, now I'm sending even more HUGS! 

Love Tracey xx


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## Sweet Tooth (Jun 4, 2006)

CD, I'm so sorry this happened to you. It shouldn't happen in this day and age, but it does and far too often. 

I remember doctors in my teen years (size 20/22) tell me I needed to lose weight because of sinus problems. Then I found some excellent doctors along the way. They only address my weight when it's actually an issue [like when birth control I asked about wouldn't be effective for someone over 200 lbs], not just as an excuse to make me feel like crap. I get weighed facing away from the numbers [partially so my bewbies don't get in the way]. There are still jerks out there, though. Rainy can attest to me calling crying after first meeting our infertility doc out here. All we can do is continue to use the ones who treat us well whenever possible, and ignore the prejudices of those who are jerks.

FYI, one thing I've found to be helpful is to call in advance and explain to them my size and my philosophy [be happy and healthy at your weight, whatever it may be]. If they reject it, I don't bother going in if I can avoid using them. If I don't have a lot of options, like with my infertility doc, I just make sure I come home and come here or to chat to get the support I need.

[And a side note, maybe we need to get more names on that list of fat-friendly docs. I know I put in some of my info years ago, but I see it doesn't appear there. There have to be more people than are on that list!]


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## chocolate desire (Jun 4, 2006)

EbonySSBBW said:


> I wish that I had a doctor like your old doc. I no longer go to the doctor that I talked about, she should have asked me before just going to get the nurse in the middle of everything.
> 
> Is your boyfriend coming to town?


 
Yes I really miss Gyn in Tenn.I can only cross my fingers and hope the don't bring in a team of Doctors in training Tuesday when I go, like they did when I had my gallbladder removed in Tenn. 
Come to think of it when I had that done 3 years ago I was shipped off to a hospital 89 miles away from home but it was much more equipped to handle me in case of emergancy i was told. 
The hospital had several rooms just for "grossly obese" patients that included queen size hospital beds that turned you automatically and also lifts hanging from the ceiling to help you up from bed or the restroom.Oh well the days of yester year are gone.. 

Is your boyfriend coming to town? [/QUOTE] 
Yes he will arrive from Sweden next Sunday for a 15 day visit..Go Me!! 
Again thank you all for being so supportive and giving me a shoulder to cry on and an cyber ear to vent to. I love you guys . Most important praise and many thanks to Conrad for providing us our own little safe haven in times like this.


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## Jes (Jun 5, 2006)

chocolate desire said:


> I am just sad because now I won't get to show off my handsome Swede and let them know*yes Phat girls really do have sex*.


Post photos, please!
(well, of the swede, not the sex.  )


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## chocolate desire (Jun 5, 2006)

Jes said:


> Post photos, please!
> (well, of the swede, not the sex.  )


 You are so crazy!!


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## Brandi (Jun 5, 2006)

I'm so sorry all of you ladies went through this!!((((HUGS))))

My 2 year old daughter has pneumonia, and I took her to emergency due to breathing problems. The doctor came in and checked her over and told me she was 3 lbs underweight, something I already knew. He said "maybe you should feed her the food you eat and maybe she will gain some weight or stop eating all the food in the house and share with her" I said, get a social worker in here right now please and I want you in here too.
He asked why and I said "Do what I say or I want your boss in here buddy" His tan face went white.
A social worker came in, I wrote down his name and the doctor's name. And I said please repeat what you said to me about my daughter being underweight. "I don't remember" Here let me remind you (as I take my tape recorder out, I have this as I'm stressed when I'm in ER with my daughter so I just tape it for my instructions - of course I can't use this in court). The social workers mouth dropped. Once composed he asked what I wanted him to do. I said, "well it sounds like he is insinuating that I'm starving my daughter because I'm big and eat all the food" I want to know if a report is going to be wrote up about this, I will need to get my lawyer involved. He told me no report would be written up and that he will have to talk to the doctor's boss. Right then, my daughter said "mommy I'm hungry" so in my knapsack, I pull out a peanut butter sandwich with a banana. *smirk*
Needless to say this doctor was suspended...and I went and bought my daughter and myself a chocolate bar EACH. LOL

The point of my story is definitely report these doctors!!! Not only comments and insinuations, but with this ignorance he/she maybe overlooking a health problem!!!!


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## Miss Vickie (Jun 5, 2006)

Brandi, what a rockin' story. I'm so glad you stood up to that maladroit doc and got his ass handed to him. Good on you!


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## altered states (Jun 5, 2006)

My GF went to the gyno recently for a routine procedure and got a checkup at the same time. The woman doctor, unsolicited, told her she "might want to consider working out." Get this: she's 5'1", 150-160 pounds. Now, that's not skinny, but it's hardly obese, or anything a doctor has any right mentioning. The bizarre thing is that she probably has less actual body fat than most women 20 pounds lighter than her - she's very athletic and is in the gym at LEAST 5 days a week! She told the doctor as much, but rather than apologizing the doc just said "Good for you" and left. She's built healthy, strong, and curvy, which I guess means an automatic death sentence.


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## BBW Betty (Jun 5, 2006)

Wow, Brandi. Props to you for standing up to that doc and making sure he was taken care of.


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## MissToodles (Jun 5, 2006)

Sorry to hear about the lipophobe. Unfortunately, some medical practioners take their own internalized biased and lash out at patients. All they see is fat, fat, fat, fat. You would think at the place you visited, they would be more aware of body issues but they aren't. The best thing to do next time is to call and see if they dealt with patients in your size range and if they are sensitive to your needs. best of luck!


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 5, 2006)

I often wonder. Most fat people are so afraid to go to the doctor because its so unpleasant. They rarely go UNTIL they have a problem, so doctors rarely see them in any other circumstance. Just like a police officer only comes into contact with people when they're at their worst if gives them a skewered perception about the intent of people sometimes I wonder if the same holds true for the doctor who only sees a fat person once they are nearly palsied with disease.

My doctor and I have a great relationship now but it wasn't always so. When I first signed on to that facility I deliberately picked a fat female doctor and she was the WORST fat phobe ever. She's a pretty lousy doctor all around so I've a feeling her kneejerk to angrily blame fat was more a means to shirk the responsibility of actually doing anything for me. I wound up switching to another doctor in that facility who had his share of adipose bias also. In the beginning when I went in for health complaints the automatic assumption was that my problems were possibly weight related but on two or three occasions it was discovered that I had some life threatening conditions that had nothing at all to do with weight and had I followed his original advice it would have certainly killed me.

Now my doctor almost never mentions my weight. I'm sure he would be pleased if I started to lose but he now treats my actual symptoms rather than obsess about fat but it has taken years for us to get to this point. Now that he's familiar with me, my health patterns and so fourth he's not as apt to automatically make assumptions but it took some time for him to learn.

Fat people in general won't go to the doctor until their leg is nearly falling off so I wonder if the combination of medical training and the resulting experiences with fat people make a doctor think: skinny person with broken leg = sports injury/sprain. Fat person with broken leg = too fat. Maybe it is within our own best interests to bite down hard and be a bully at the doctor's office, training our doctors in the correct approach to health for fat people. Research your symptoms, go in for a checkup, complain about that sore heel, insist on the proper tests - maybe between the two of you something can be learned that makes you a better person and them a better doctor for it.

Or, they may all just be schmucks - I don't know.


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## candygodiva (Jun 5, 2006)

chocolate desire said:


> Today was the day I have dreaded for 3 weeks. It was time for my papsmear with a new doctor.Thinking that it might by chance go pretty smooth I walked into the office head held high only to retreat feeling lower than the sole on my shoe.I knew it was taking a turn for the worst when the nurse insisted on weighing me even though I could read on the scale maximum limit 440..after 3 ERROR readings I pointed out the 440 once again and with a little annoyance in my voice said "I told you I was 492".Then it was time to see what part of the paper gown I would opt to cover as it never covers all of me, when much to my surprise I was told there was no need to undress as their tables had a weight limit of 350.She then asked me how was it that I was able to be examed before and had I recently gained weight. You should have seen the horror in her eyes as I replied "No I have lost a bunch since my last papsmear". She left me alone as she went to comfirm when my last check up was and had they in fact been able to fit me on their table and such. In the end she came back and told me that I had two options go back to Tn for the papsmear or wait until they can find a table to hold me.I think I feel a food binge coming on to lift my spirits.



It's times like these, that make me sad to be human. Some people just amaze me with their insensitivity. ICK! It also reminds me of why I don't do doctors anymore. If somethin's gonna take me down, it just better surprize me. Old saw bones can poke me when I'm gone.


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## EvilPrincess (Jun 5, 2006)

candygodiva said:


> It's times like these, that make me sad to be human. Some people just amaze me with their insensitivity. ICK! It also reminds me of why I don't do doctors anymore. If somethin's gonna take me down, it just better surprize me. Old saw bones can poke me when I'm gone.


 
Don't give up! I had to go to the Dr today, tripped and twisted my knee this weekend and was in a lot of pain. 

To my surprise the nurse was a lovely SSBBW. She made sure I got the right blood pressure cup the first time, and when I went into the room she told me to avoid sitting in the chair because they were "awful" and too small. She asked if I needed help to get up on the table. She was wonderful! When the doc examined me he did not make one comment about my weight, was very kind, and gave me a referral right away.

It doesn't happen very often but sometimes things can be done right


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## candygodiva (Jun 5, 2006)

EvilPrincess said:


> Don't give up! I had to go to the Dr today, tripped and twisted my knee this weekend and was in a lot of pain.
> 
> To my surprise the nurse was a lovely SSBBW. She made sure I got the right blood pressure cup the first time, and when I went into the room she told me to avoid sitting in the chair because they were "awful" and too small. She asked if I needed help to get up on the table. She was wonderful! When the doc examined me he did not make one comment about my weight, was very kind, and gave me a referral right away.
> 
> It doesn't happen very often but sometimes things can be done right



Yowch! Sorry about yer knee hunny. I catch myself twisting my ankles alot. I just walk it out though, but I suppose I'd go to the doctors if I really felt I needed to. I don't recommend to anyone else to not go to the doctors either. I'm sure there are some decent ones out there to. I used to have a little cutie that did me ok. I swear he looked about fresh outta med school that one. I ended up moving though, and have just not taken the time to find another one I'd trust. It sounds like the folks that took care of you were very considerate and understanding. I'm glad to know it. :kiss2:


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## AllisonPacino (Jun 7, 2006)

I guess I'm a little late posting this too ,but I wanted to give you my opinion. Rene I am so sorry that you had that experience. I had a similiar one when going to get an xray done...It's sad really...Anyways, if you're wiling to make the drive I have a wonderful OB GYN doc. She has never once treated me differently or even mentioned anything about my weight. I am very blessed to have her around. I hope things go better for you next time...We are not second class and we don't deserve to be treated as such...Let us know how it goes 

Allison


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## BeaBea (Jun 7, 2006)

LillyBBBW said:


> Fat people in general won't go to the doctor until their leg is nearly falling off so I wonder if the combination of medical training and the resulting experiences with fat people make a doctor think: skinny person with broken leg = sports injury/sprain. Fat person with broken leg = too fat.


 
I think thats a very good point Lilly. I think too that on occasions it comes down to a Dr being just plain lazy. Some dont bother to explore symptoms when they can just write everything off to 'fat'. It saves them the effort of having to consider other causes and really get to the heart of the problem. 

I'm trying really hard to be charitable and to remember that Dr's are people too but I'm still angry. Their combination of prejudice and laziness hits us at our very lowest moments. We're hurting, scared and vulnerable and that makes us very susceptible to bullying and to accept poor treatment. 

I do agree that we all need to bully back but its not easy. I'm quite forthright but I know how it feels to come away from an appointment kicking myself for not speaking up too  

Tracey


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## ripley (Jun 7, 2006)

I'm 35 now, and the last time I saw a doctor was when I was 25. The last pelvic exam I had when I was 20 or so. I had irregular periods, and the doctor (who didn't mention my weight at all, though I was a lot smaller then) sent me to get an ultrasound. The nurse who gave me the ultrasound was pretty blatantly disgusted by me. The ultrasound thingy (help, MissVickie) had a curved plastic head on it, and that was what was supposed to touch me. The nurse took it off, and it had a square metal head then. I guess because of the fat tissue, she had to push very hard. She could hear me drawing in my breath from it hurting, and I told her that it was painful. She basically said "Oh well" and ignored me. It broke open my skin in a line from hip bone to hip bone. She pushed so hard that it just tore. I went in to get dressed and tucked tissues under my belly to stop the bleeding and went home. Haven't had a pelvic since, and I don't see one on the horizon, either.


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## Santaclear (Jun 7, 2006)

Gawd, Ripley, and all other big women (and some men) out there who don't go to a doctor because so many of them suck - just _find_ a good one (or even a decent one who's "trainable" like Lilly did) and go. Despite these awful stories it would be way more terrible to lose anyone to something that might be preventable.


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## missaf (Jun 7, 2006)

Please please PLEASE don't let these doctors deter you. Keeping looking dilligently and get the check ups and exams you need. Believe me, even missing a yearly exam for women is a big deal. Trust me, please, and know that things can happen even in a year's time that can change your life.


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## gypsy (Jun 7, 2006)

guelphgirly20 said:


> hey all! im 20 years old and weigh approximately 350lbs... i better not let my doc weigh me cuz i know he will not let me on the table if thats the case. he constanting shakes his head and in rude tones express how physically disgusted he is with my "GROSSLY OBESE" size. my mother is under 150 and he tells her to lose weight. once i asked what he recommended for me to lose weight... he said "dont eat for 3 months" i laughed waiting for the honest answer..... none came.... this doctor has also been heard to say to an allergic pet owner "get rid of them.. what are they good for anyways?" even though he has 2 dogs of his own... and more complaints too. i ahvent been to him in over a year because walk in clinics wont judge me, wont weigh me and wont make me feel like slitting my wrists or vomiting everything from cake to salad. i want a new doctor but living in guelph ontario there is a shortage and i dont even know how i would go about changing the doctor... and if this change would even make a difference.. i could end up with someone who makes me feel down right homicidal.



Hiya Guelph,

Sorry you have to put up with an asshole like that.

To get a new GP go to this website http://www.cpso.on.ca/Doctor_Search/ez_srch.asp?Scr=FIRST

and enter the info for your area in Guelph...

Then I suggest you contact the Ontario Medical Association http://www.oma.org/ and find out how to register a formal complaint about this dickhead. That kind of gross indecency is uncalled for, especially in this day and age. 

Good luck to you.


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## MissToodles (Jun 7, 2006)

LillyBBBW said:


> I often wonder. Most fat people are so afraid to go to the doctor because its so unpleasant. They rarely go UNTIL they have a problem, so doctors rarely see them in any other circumstance. Just like a police officer only comes into contact with people when they're at their worst if gives them a skewered perception about the intent of people sometimes I wonder if the same holds true for the doctor who only sees a fat person once they are nearly palsied with disease.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Not to hijack the thread, but a lot are quite schmucky! I may be reticient in most siutations but at the doctor's office, I give them a piece of my mind. One endocrologist accused me of having symptoms in my mind even though I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's and all my symptoms were consistent with his analysis of my blood test results! Another blamed the swelling in my lower limbs solely on my size and insisted lymphaedema & edema are the same thing. Basically, I have to lose weight to get rid of the swelling (which can help but still these things need to be treated, I was also tested for kidney disease, I'm fine). A non weight related incident happened at the gyn a few years back. She wouldn't prescribe me birth control because I wasn't married. 

I think they instill this sense of Godliness in med. school, that they know everything. Maybe if they listened to a patient's intitution, we would all be better off.


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## gypsy (Jun 7, 2006)

Brandi said:


> I'm so sorry all of you ladies went through this!!((((HUGS))))
> 
> My 2 year old daughter has pneumonia, and I took her to emergency due to breathing problems. The doctor came in and checked her over and told me she was 3 lbs underweight, something I already knew. He said "maybe you should feed her the food you eat and maybe she will gain some weight or stop eating all the food in the house and share with her" I said, get a social worker in here right now please and I want you in here too.
> He asked why and I said "Do what I say or I want your boss in here buddy" His tan face went white.
> ...



Damn! Which hospital was that??? I've always been treated with respect at the General...especially last year when I had an asthma attack. Way to go, Brandi.


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## Miss Vickie (Jun 7, 2006)

missaf said:


> Please please PLEASE don't let these doctors deter you. Keeping looking dilligently and get the check ups and exams you need. Believe me, even missing a yearly exam for women is a big deal. Trust me, please, and know that things can happen even in a year's time that can change your life.



What she said, 'cause she is wise.

And really, you know what? Bring a friend with you for moral support. I've done this for many of my friends -- for both dental and girlie appointments -- and it's made the experience a lot more tolerable. Then, when it's done, you can reward yourself with lunch, coffee, whatever. Having someone there with you also helps because they can remind you of questions you wanted to ask (which we always seem to forget -- I write lists and then invariably leave the lists at home), help you remember everything the doctor said, etc.

Okay so it has to be a friend who you're comfortable seeing you semi-naked, and maybe it's the circles I travel in (folks in the birthin' biz tend not to be terribly hung up with nudity), but I think it's a nice thing women can do for each other.


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## Theatrmuse/Kara (Jun 7, 2006)

Excellant advice, Vickie! That is what I do........two heads are better than one. My sister and I always go together for moral support! It works!
Hugs, Kara


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## Miss Vickie (Jun 7, 2006)

Thanks, Kara.

And I have to say I love my gynie. He's the first male gynie I've had in more years than I can count and I adore him. He's brilliant, funny, non-fat hating, young, hip and gorgeous. (He's also gay and it's obvious he loves women, though "not in that way"). The other day I saw him when my sweetie and I were out for brunch, and he came up to me, gave me a hug and asked how I was doing after my ablation. Many of the nurses I know see him, and we all love him. (Want to find a good doc? Ask the nurses you know.)

I've always had female docs or midwives, so it took a lot -- severe blood loss in my case -- to see a man. I'm so glad I did. I mention him just so people know that sometimes men can be jackasses, or sometimes they can be kinder and more caring than women.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 7, 2006)

ripley said:


> I'm 35 now, and the last time I saw a doctor was when I was 25. The last pelvic exam I had when I was 20 or so. I had irregular periods, and the doctor (who didn't mention my weight at all, though I was a lot smaller then) sent me to get an ultrasound. The nurse who gave me the ultrasound was pretty blatantly disgusted by me. The ultrasound thingy (help, MissVickie) had a curved plastic head on it, and that was what was supposed to touch me. The nurse took it off, and it had a square metal head then. I guess because of the fat tissue, she had to push very hard. She could hear me drawing in my breath from it hurting, and I told her that it was painful. She basically said "Oh well" and ignored me. It broke open my skin in a line from hip bone to hip bone. She pushed so hard that it just tore. I went in to get dressed and tucked tissues under my belly to stop the bleeding and went home. Haven't had a pelvic since, and I don't see one on the horizon, either.



Oh my God Ripley! That woman did that shit ON PURPOSE! I just had an ultrasound not a few months ago and it was routine: sooth rubber prong thingie, warm gel, etc. That b*tch butchered you deliberately and for that shit she should be in jail.

I am SO sorry that happened you to Ripley.


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## BeaBea (Jun 7, 2006)

I have to say I've always had better luck with male doctors than female. 

Even with female only issues they did actually listen to my symptoms whereas the women seemed to think their personal experience of periods was the only valid one and that I was exaggerating.

Somehow admitting this makes me sad, I wish the 'sisterhood' thing worked better.

Tracey


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## Miss Vickie (Jun 7, 2006)

ripley said:


> The nurse who gave me the ultrasound was pretty blatantly disgusted by me. The ultrasound thingy (help, MissVickie) had a curved plastic head on it, and that was what was supposed to touch me. The nurse took it off, and it had a square metal head then. I guess because of the fat tissue, she had to push very hard. She could hear me drawing in my breath from it hurting, and I told her that it was painful. She basically said "Oh well" and ignored me. It broke open my skin in a line from hip bone to hip bone. She pushed so hard that it just tore. I went in to get dressed and tucked tissues under my belly to stop the bleeding and went home. Haven't had a pelvic since, and I don't see one on the horizon, either.



Ouch! How awful! The ultrasound probe is I guess what they're called, but you need to leave that plastic cover ON. Holy shit. If she had trouble seeing (because yes, if you have a large pannus it's hard to see, although what I did was just lift mine up while they did the exam), then she should have done a transvaginal ultrasound; that's where they use a probe that looks, no kidding, like a dildo, and visualize our organs through our abdomen. It's a little giggly and awkward and WEIRD but at least it's not painful. 

Please come to Alaska and let me hold your hand and take you to someone wonderful. There is no excuse for that kind of treatment, and you deserve better. If you were having an ultrasound, there must be some un-resolved medical issues that, ten years later, might need addressing. Also, just a reminder that you can see nurse midwives for pap smears and girlie stuff, too. I've had great luck with midwives who were very caring and -- without exception -- fat friendly.

Poor dear.  I'm so sorry.


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## FitChick (Jun 7, 2006)

I never had any problems with my regular doctors when I was fat, but sometimes the fill-in doctors might say something (but they never said it to me, only to my husband or whoever was with me.) 

Once I slipped on the ice and hit the back of my head...we went to the ER. The ER doctor told my husband privately, "She seems ok, but you know, she is very obese". My husband replied, "What does that have to do with why we're here?"  

But generally I really had no problems with the doctors who knew me. Then again, I was only fat for about 20 something years, not a lifetime. That may make a diff.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 7, 2006)

FitChick said:


> ...The ER doctor told [the] husband privately, "She seems ok, but you know, she is very obese". [The] husband replied, ".........."



I swear there's a punch line that goes to this but I just can't grab it right now.


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## IdahoCynth (Jun 7, 2006)

Brandi said:


> Here let me remind you (as I take my tape recorder out...



Brandi you are my fuckin hero!!! I have thought of taking a tape recorder if I ever go to a doctor again, now I definatly will not give it a second thought.

Four out of five doctors I have ever seen in my life say "everything that is wrong with me is because I am fat" . 

I must share one story with you all quickly. I was breaking out in hives every day sometimes two or three times a day. After a few weeks of this I finally broke down and went to a doc in the box. The doctor (a female and very young) asked me if I had "gained a lot of weight recently" I said no I have always been fat. She said "well hives are controled by the stomach, and if you would lose even 10 pounds the hives would stop". It was all I could do not to take her by the neck and twist. 

I told her I know that hives are an allergic reaction and not caused by weight. I have suffered on and off from hives my entire life, could she please give me some information on a better antihistimine than benadryl because that wasn't working. She insisted that if I would "watch what I eat, the hives would go away". I got up and walked out.

Then my son started breaking out in hives everyday, the doctor I took him too gave him some great meds that caused the hives to retreat within a few minutes. I told him what the other doctor had told me and he laughed really hard and shook his head. He asked me her name and where she worked he said he planned on calling her. I never did hear if he did or not, but it was nice to have a doctor act like they actually cared.


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## TraciJo67 (Jun 7, 2006)

When I was in my early 20's, I was having a very painful and, for me, emotionally charged gynecological procedure done. I was laying on the table, feet in stirrups, completely vulnerable & already ashamed of my naked body. The doctor took one look at me and said, "My, you're a BIG ONE, aren't you?" He went on to make other remarks about my body, and about the difficulty of the procedure because of my girth, speaking to the nurse as if I weren't even there (she at least had the grace to look uncomfortable).

What kills me now is that I did nothing, said nothing. I just quietly let him verbally abuse me, and when we were done, I left and cried all the way home. I'd love to go back in time to correct that situation. He'd either lose his job, or gain my foot up his ass.


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## Miss Vickie (Jun 7, 2006)

IdahoCynth said:


> She said "well hives are controled by the stomach, and if you would lose even 10 pounds the hives would stop". It was all I could do not to take her by the neck and twist.



Oh. My. God. That has got to be the dumbest thing I have EVER heard. Where the hell did she get her degree? A Cracker Jack box?

Did you guys ever find out what you were allergic to?

Incidentally, my (thin) daughter has been getting weird hive-like spots off and on of late. It's weird. Just a spot or two, then a few more, on her torso. They'll go away for a few days. Then come back. Unlike hives, though, they don't itch, and benadry isn't helping. Coincidentally, though, is the fact that she has had a lot of hay fever lately, so who knows?

I'm still not sure what to make of it....


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 7, 2006)

Miss Vickie said:


> Oh. My. God. That has got to be the dumbest thing I have EVER heard. Where the hell did she get her degree? A Cracker Jack box?
> 
> Did you guys ever find out what you were allergic to?
> 
> ...



I've had the same thing my whole life, Miss Vickie, the intermittent non-itch hives on the belly area: there one day, gone the next. Mild gastrointestinal upset, sluggish fatigued feeling that wasn't terribly compelling enough to worry over. I didn't think there was any connection to all of this but it's gotten worse as I've gotten older and beginning to look like it's some kind of food/ingredient intolerance. Cutting carbs and sugars seems to have helped but I'm still not sure what it is. Wheat? Gluten?  Could be anything. I've been too lazy and busy to go see anyone about it.

It might be some kind of mild food intolerance.


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## Miss Vickie (Jun 7, 2006)

LillyBBBW said:


> I've had the same thing my whole life, Miss Vickie, the intermittent non-itch hives on the belly area: there one day, gone the next. Mild gastrointestinal upset, sluggish fatigued feeling that wasn't terribly compelling enough to worry over. I didn't think there was any connection to all of this but it's gotten worse as I've gotten older and beginning to look like it's some kind of food/ingredient intolerance. Cutting carbs and sugars seems to have helped but I'm still not sure what it is. Wheat? Gluten?  Could be anything. I've been too lazy and busy to go see anyone about it.
> 
> It might be some kind of mild food intolerance.



Hmmm. Interesting. I'll have to ask her what she's been eating lately. (Probably the typical teen diet. :shocked: ) It could be just about anything. Thanks for the input. Maybe I should tell her it's the no sugar added fudgesicles of mine that she's been eating lately that is causing it.


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## BeaBea (Jun 7, 2006)

The ER doctor told [the] husband privately, "She seems ok, but you know, she is very obese". [The] husband replied, ".........."

For starters...?

She wha? Huh? Sheesh, do you know we've been happily married for years and I just never noticed? If ONLY I'd been smart enough for Medical School I might have figured that out for myself...!

Tracey


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## IdahoCynth (Jun 7, 2006)

Miss Vickie said:


> Oh. My. God. That has got to be the dumbest thing I have EVER heard. Where the hell did she get her degree? A Cracker Jack box?
> 
> Did you guys ever find out what you were allergic to?



I still am not sure what exactly it was, but after about a month for my son of on and off hives and me everyday hives it just stopped (and no, I didn't lose 10 pounds, and neither did my son lol).

I have had hives often my entire life. Mine itch, I get them so often I can tell when I am about to break out and if I hurry and take benadryl I can usually stop them. There is a "tingeling feeling" I get about 4 or 5 min before I break out.


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## chocolate desire (Jun 7, 2006)

I was sent as an outpatient to Labor and Delivery at our hospital.The people that signed me in looked weary and dumbfounded when I replied to how far along I am that I was 0 months.Deciding to make the best of this visit I tried to be as cheerful as possible.After reaching the floor I was to be on I was greeted by 2 nurses and a nurse midwife and was treated much better than I expected.Although I did agree to be weighed( I had gained from last month) there was no big deal nor anything said about my weight. One of the nurses seemed to make it her duty to go above and beyond to make me comfortable and put me at ease. I know I told her thanks at least 6 times. 
Oh well at least thats done and over with for another year.

Again thanks for all you cyber friends and family for being there for me


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## ripley (Jun 7, 2006)

Thank you Santaclear, Lilly and Vickie.  

Vickie: she _was_ under my belly...I think that's why the skin split. It was where the fold was, lots of stretch marks which I think made the skin pretty thin and sorta fragile. 

I cried when I wrote that post, which surprised me. I thought the emotional part of it was pretty much resolved. Goes to show you that those things stick with you even when you might think you're over it. 



CD, I'm so glad you had a more pleasant visit this time. Sounds like that nurse was a gem. What a difference an attitude can make!


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## Miss Vickie (Jun 7, 2006)

ripley said:


> Thank you Santaclear, Lilly and Vickie.
> 
> Vickie: she _was_ under my belly...I think that's why the skin split. It was where the fold was, lots of stretch marks which I think made the skin pretty thin and sorta fragile.



She must have pressed really hard to break the skin. I mean, the skin's tender but it shouldn't be THAT tender. OUCH! OTOH I think the plastic thing over the probe protects from the sharp edges of the instrument itself. And what I mean by "under" your belly is going in through the vagina -- sorry I didn't describe that well but I was trying to protect delicate eyes or ears.  Despite what my OB told me when I was having my son, there's not a lot of fat in the vagina to get in the way. (He said I'd "never" have my son vaginally because I had too much "vaginal fat". Uh huh... And I was 216 pounds, no less). This is why the transvaginal probe, while embarrassing, is useful.



> I cried when I wrote that post, which surprised me. I thought the emotional part of it was pretty much resolved. Goes to show you that those things stick with you even when you might think you're over it.



Aw, sweetie, I'm sorry. I hate the shame that we feel about our bodies. And I hate even more when it's made worse by insensitive health care providers. 



> CD, I'm so glad you had a more pleasant visit this time. Sounds like that nurse was a gem. What a difference an attitude can make!



Me too. I agree, and it goes along with my experience that midwives are, by and large, more sensitive than MD's. I'm glad you had a nice nurse. It's always good to hear when we make a difference in a positive direction. Makes me proud of my profession.

Please, let us help you find someone to get you looked at. Everybody deserves good medical care. I'd hate for you to get really sick because of this.


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## missaf (Jun 7, 2006)

Here here for transvaginal ultrasounds! Seriously, they put a condom on a dildo looking probe and use it from the inside, but the pictures are SO clear. 

I went for US when I was pregnant with my son and they had me scared to death, saying he had water on the brain, had a deformed head, his ears were not developing, etc etc etc... They sent me to a high risk OB. The nurse at the high risk OB's office said "They are so fucking dumb at that hospital, she was pressing too hard on your little boy's head and distorted it in the picture!"

I went back for every other ultrasound to that office, I was so mad at the hospital.


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## FitChick (Jun 7, 2006)

BeaBea said:


> The ER doctor told [the] husband privately, "She seems ok, but you know, she is very obese". [The] husband replied, ".........."
> 
> For starters...?
> 
> ...



You are HYSTERICAL! 


Somebody previously mentioned a friend who works out at the gym and the dr said she should work out/lose weight, etc.

I noticed something, at least with the doctors who are not my "regular" ones (I go to a practice where they have 8 doctors, and I never know who I'll get)...back when I had first started working out/losing weight, I'd mention that I work out and how much I do, and they'd say the same thing that doctor said to your friend: "Good for you". I don't think they BELIEVE a fat person truly does work out. What? Do they think the fat goes away overnight, and the person's body automatically looks like those ads on TV for fitness centers? Do they realize that for some fat people, no matter how much they work out they will always stay somewhat fat?

I just don't think they believe it when a fat person works out....and that is part of the prejudice! That's one reaosn why I started riding my bikes too...I wanted people to SEE a fat person doing something active so they couldn't deny it anymore.


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## Miss Vickie (Jun 7, 2006)

missaf said:


> I went for US when I was pregnant with my son and they had me scared to death, saying he had water on the brain, had a deformed head, his ears were not developing, etc etc etc... They sent me to a high risk OB. The nurse at the high risk OB's office said "They are so fucking dumb at that hospital, she was pressing too hard on your little boy's head and distorted it in the picture!"
> 
> I went back for every other ultrasound to that office, I was so mad at the hospital.



Oh my God! That's UNREAL! It really just sounds like they had no idea what they were looking at. One lady I knew was told her baby's intestines were growing outside the baby's abdomen. She freaked, with good reason, but decided to have the baby anyway, and went in for one last ultrasound before delivery. Guess what it was they saw? The umbilical cord. All that worry and grief for nothing.

Dumb schmucks.

Fortunately, with the new ultrasound equipment, the pictures are much clearer than they were. Even I can tell what the pieces parts are.


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## ripley (Jun 7, 2006)

Miss Vickie said:


> She must have pressed really hard to break the skin. I mean, the skin's tender but it shouldn't be THAT tender. OUCH! OTOH I think the plastic thing over the probe protects from the sharp edges of the instrument itself. And what I mean by "under" your belly is going in through the vagina -- sorry I didn't describe that well but I was trying to protect delicate eyes or ears.  Despite what my OB told me when I was having my son, there's not a lot of fat in the vagina to get in the way. (He said I'd "never" have my son vaginally because I had too much "vaginal fat". Uh huh... And I was 216 pounds, no less). This is why the transvaginal probe, while embarrassing, is useful.


 

I knew what you meant about the vaginal ultrasound  ...but I thought that belly fat is what you meant when you said you held up your pannus (I'm not sure what that means) and she was under my belly. Just not THAT far under.


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## missaf (Jun 7, 2006)

Pannus = Apron


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 7, 2006)

ripley said:


> I knew what you meant about the vaginal ultrasound  ...but I thought that belly fat is what you meant when you said you held up your pannus (I'm not sure what that means) and she was under my belly. Just not THAT far under.



Yeah, that's what happened to me when I went to have my ultra sound. She used the belly probe and I had to hold my belly out of the way. Then she used the dildo probe and I turned to her and said, "You have the worst job ever," and she laughed. She had to grease me up and do the belly probe again and that's when she told me I had a fibroid. That woman who did your test was WAY out of line. There is no reason at all she needed to cut you up like that. 

*GASP* OMG!!! YOUR BLADDER WAS FULL WASN'T IT?!?!!! I just thought of that. Man, that lady needed to be kicked in the face! That is a traumatic experience Ripley and well understood that it would still yank your chain to this day. I'm so angry on your behalf.


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## lipmixgirl (Jun 8, 2006)

i am so sorry to hear about your experience... if it were me, i would have delivered a rather large (pun intended) complaint to your doctor... no one has the right to pass judgement on your body... the purpose of health professionals is to advise and to faciliate health and healing in a dignified manner... your job as the patient is to give health professionals the information they need to do their jobs effectively... 

clearly you did your job... the nurse didn't do hers... 

while you cannot control the reactions of others, i maintain that you can keep a semblance of control over such situations by identifying and not reacting to fatphobes... i know easier said than done... but it is possible - i am living proof.... 


the big apple has spoken

::exeunt:: :bow:


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## bf61 (Jun 8, 2006)

Reading through all these stories reminded me of horrible doctor visits of my own, but I have to relay what happened to my sister. Now my sister is about 5'3" 200 lbs (or was, she's lost weight since then). A couple years ago she was at work and fell down on the floor in horrible pain. My mom came & took her to the hospital because she could barely move and all she could do was lay there and cry. She got to the hospital, my mom explained the situation, and they kept her waiting 3 HOURS because they thought she was just having bad period cramps. The admitting nurse actually said, "well, you are on the larger side, and bigger girls have bigger cramps." :shocked: 
When they finally got her in to do a trans vag ultrasound (another project in itself, "are you kidding?, we're not going to be able to see anything, get her a trans vaginal."), guess what the doctor found?
A cyst the size of a grapefruit attached to her left ovary. 
My poor sister was in pain for hours because they thought she was a fat girl complaining about cramps. idiots. sorry, i still get angry thinking about this.


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## moore2me (Jun 8, 2006)

:shocked: I too needed a transvaginal ultrasound. They were looking for possible tumors or cysts in my ovaries and uterus. The radiologist tech was a young lady who (after I put on the appropriate gear and sat down on the exam table) handed me the vaginal scope and asked me to insert it in my vagina. She said she was not going to do it. I figured she was too digusted by a fat girl. 

Well, I did my best. It wasn't easy because the darned probe was to long and not easy to handle. Plus, I am a total spaz (really) and I was in an X-ray room on a cold, narrow table. After inserting the probe to her satisfaction, she called in a radiologist to look around at my innards and take pictures.

I was younger and stupider then. Now, I would not put up with the way that the technician treated me. Even though my Gyno had sent me for these tests STAT, I'm sure she didn't intend for the staff at the X-ray dept to insult me or to make me feel like a lower form of life. I should have refused to follow the technician's instructions and asked for her supervisor.

I am just throwing this incident in to make the girls and women out there aware that you don't have to take shit from anyone in a medical setting(unless you want to.) My story had a happy ending -- I had only benign cysts, which were successfully removed.


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## Miss Vickie (Jun 8, 2006)

moore2me said:


> :shocked: I too needed a transvaginal ultrasound. They were looking for possible tumors or cysts in my ovaries and uterus. The radiologist tech was a young lady who (after I put on the appropriate gear and sat down on the exam table) handed me the vaginal scope and asked me to insert it in my vagina. She said



Oh, sweetie, no. That's not why at all. Really. They never do put the probe in -- they always have you do it, I imagine because they can't see what they're doing, they're not gynecologists, and each woman is built so differently. It may be because they aren't licensed to put anything inside the body. It's not at all because you're fat. I promise. They always always always do that. Always.



> Well, I did my best. It wasn't easy because the darned probe was to long and not easy to handle. Plus, I am a total spaz (really) and I was in an X-ray room on a cold, narrow table. After inserting the probe to her satisfaction, she called in a radiologist to look around at my innards and take pictures.



Oh yeah, me too. The thing is all goopy and slippery, and it's dark and you're under a paper sheet and... yeah. Plus it's just weird to do that with someone else in the room. The first time it happened the tech was a guy and I thought it was because was a guy. But every scan I've had since then has been done by a woman and they ALWAYS make you put it in yourself. I've been with thin friends and they, too, had to put it in themselves.

That being said, if she said or did something that made you feel "less than", then she was wrong and should be reported. Everybody deserves compassionate, competent care. Period.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 9, 2006)

Miss Vickie said:


> Oh, sweetie, no. That's not why at all. Really. They never do put the probe in -- they always have you do it, I imagine because they can't see what they're doing, they're not gynecologists, and each woman is built so differently. It may be because they aren't licensed to put anything inside the body. It's not at all because you're fat. I promise. They always always always do that. Always.



I agree. My tech didn't ask me to insert it myself, but I would not have been offended has she asked me to do it. I kinda consider the ultrasound person more a techie than a doctor or ob/gyn kinda person. They may be scared that they might hurt you. My fear would be that some nervous nelly would holler out about how I did something unethical or she felt my actions were inappropriate or something but I'm only speaking for myself.

You'd be surprised how high strung and out of control some people are when it comes to going to the doctor. They can be very paranoid and imagine that everyone who comes near them is trying to hurt them or something. A good friend of mine is a phlebotomist and I've heard some doozies from her about some of the people who flip out over the silliest things. This one nurse at my primary care doctor NEVER inserts the electronic thermometer in my mouth, she always makes me do it. She's one of the nicest nurses in there and the only one who does this and claims that it's because she doesn't want to injure anyone. When it comes to little things like this I try to be tolerant with the nurses/medical staff. They get traumatized by patients on a regular basis as opposed to a patient being traumatized by a bad doctor once in a blue moon.


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## BBW Betty (Jun 9, 2006)

Well, I have to go for an ultrasound in about 10 days, and I'm a little anxious about it. Mostly b/c I'm afraid to heard that I've devloped hyperplasia again. I've been taking hormones to help avoid it, but had also hoped my system straightened out.

Had an interesting visit with my OB/GYN yesterday. It was a "pre-conception" conference. Here's the scoop.

It's been pretty well determined that I have PCOS, and do not ovulate at all. This was a follow-up appointment after last year, and I'd been hoping the next step might be meds to promote ovulation. I'm 37 1/2, and Frank and I would like to start a family. Anyway, the Doc put it this way: At my weight, she feels that would be her contributing to a very high-risk situation for me ( I'm 5'3" and weigh between 350-360). If I got pregnant without the meds, she'd do her very best to make sure I had a safe/healthy pregnancy, but she doesn't want to add to my health risks. However, guess one thing she *did* suggest for the weight loss? That's right, bariatric surgery!! She's got me scheduled to see a nutritionist (whom I'd seen before, and who I like), and we'll re-evaluate in 8-10 months. At least she listened that I don't want the surgery.

To be fair, the women in my family are prone to needing C-sections, but I came home soooo disappointed after that appt. 

Thanks for listening; I guess I just needed to cry on a shoulder or two.


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## Sweet Tooth (Jun 9, 2006)

BBW Betty said:


> Well, I have to go for an ultrasound in about 10 days, and I'm a little anxious about it. Mostly b/c I'm afraid to heard that I've devloped hyperplasia again. I've been taking hormones to help avoid it, but had also hoped my system straightened out.
> 
> Had an interesting visit with my OB/GYN yesterday. It was a "pre-conception" conference. Here's the scoop.
> 
> ...



Your doc did better than mine! Rainy can tell you about my teary phone call after meeting her for the first time. I'm normally very confident as a large woman. I've had some great doctors over the last few years. Moving, though, meant finding someone new who would be covered by my insurance. I felt like I had to justify myself and that my doctor didn't believe me about certain things [like how, until I hurt my knee, I'd work out; I've always been fairly active without much problem even though I'll never run any marathons; I only occasionally eat fast food, drink almost exclusively non-caloric drinks, and use very little fat in cooking at home including buying very low fat meats.... things like that which, in addition to my normal BP and cholesterol, seem to add up to "reasonably" healthy]. She finally pulled the "do it for your baby" manipulative technique, not a minute after she admits she doesn't do all the things she told me I needed to do.

I tried finding some books that were supportive of plus-size pregnancies [not pregnant yet, just trying to get it right from the beginning], but they all seem to assume that you hate yourself, that you're only 50 or so lbs over your "ideal" weight, and that you have time to safely lose enough weight. At the healthy weight loss rate of 1-2 lbs a week, I'd be facing an age where I have exponentially increased risk for fetal development problems. Don't these people think, "Hey, let's balance varying risk factors in our planning."?

Some ladies here mentioned intravaginal ultrasounds. I've been getting these monthly in the process of fertility treatments. Not fun, but I have only had one painful experience. I do wonder, though, if there's more my doctor could do but doesn't because she doesn't think I should have kids [at least until I lose weight]. Sad that anyone would feel that way about their doc, but I do. I can't imagine if I'd had even worse experiences like some of the women here.


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## Tracyarts (Jun 9, 2006)

Miss Vickie said:


> Oh, sweetie, no. That's not why at all. Really. They never do put the probe in -- they always have you do it, I imagine because they can't see what they're doing, they're not gynecologists, and each woman is built so differently. It may be because they aren't licensed to put anything inside the body. It's not at all because you're fat. I promise. They always always always do that. Always.




I wonder if that varies from state to state and hospital to hospital? I have never been asked to do anything but lay back on the table and relax when I have had a transvag. Now, when I had them done during my yearly exams, the doctor him/herself did the probing. But when I was going through the deal with my ovarian cyst last year, the woman who did the whole sonogram/ultrasound procedure did it too. And I am pretty sure she was not a medical doctor, as I didn't see "MD" behind her name on her tag. 

But had I been told to do it myself, it probably would have been pretty awkward if not downright impossible with that melon sized cyst in the way. Good thing they did it for me I guess.

Tracy


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