# Operation Catfish in the BBW world



## cazagordas (Feb 13, 2014)

Has anyone experienced a "Catfish" when meeting someone from the online BBW community? What kind of experiences have you had?


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## loopytheone (Feb 13, 2014)

Nope, only ever met humans. No fish.


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## shy guy (Feb 13, 2014)

No, but I did meet a lovely trout once:happy:.


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## CastingPearls (Feb 13, 2014)

I've 'met' a few that I might consider narcissistic sociopaths which can be a catfish of a kind.


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## Ms Charlotte BBW (Feb 13, 2014)

CastingPearls said:


> I've 'met' a few that I might consider narcissistic sociopaths which can be a catfish of a kind.



^ Same here. *Sigh*


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## Marlayna (Feb 13, 2014)

cazagordas said:


> Has anyone experienced a "Catfish" when meeting someone from the online BBW community? What kind of experiences have you had?


 On the Catfish show people actually become "engaged" to people they've never met, who've used phony pictures and a fake life. 
I've never liked the idea of internet shopping for a lover, too many variables.


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## indy500tchr (Feb 13, 2014)

It happened to me once when I first started exploring dating sites about 10 years ago. Talked to this guy for a few weeks from a bbw site on tangowire. He lived about an hour away and I decided to meet him. I know it was a bad idea but I ended up going to his house. The guy that answered the door was NOT the guy in the picture. Not even close He said the pic was his brother b/c he thought he wasn't cute enough and girls wouldn't talk to him if he put his real pic up. Ended up getting out of there as quick as I could. For the next few weeks he kept on calling me and leaving me threatening voicemails...you know the kind full of expletives and fat hating remarks since now I was ignoring him even though he thought my fat was hot before. Luckily he didn't know where I lived and didn't have a car and eventually gave up.


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## bigmac (Feb 13, 2014)

Never had a date who used someone else's photo but I did meet a woman who used a really old photo that didn't look anything like she currently looked. Ironically before we met IRL we spent several hours on the phone with her vetting pretty much every aspect of my life (including how old *my* profile photos were).


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## Marlayna (Feb 13, 2014)

indy500tchr said:


> It happened to me once when I first started exploring dating sites about 10 years ago. Talked to this guy for a few weeks from a bbw site on tangowire. He lived about an hour away and I decided to meet him. I know it was a bad idea but I ended up going to his house. The guy that answered the door was NOT the guy in the picture. Not even close He said the pic was his brother b/c he thought he wasn't cute enough and girls wouldn't talk to him if he put his real pic up. Ended up getting out of there as quick as I could. For the next few weeks he kept on calling me and leaving me threatening voicemails...you know the kind full of expletives and fat hating remarks since now I was ignoring him even though he thought my fat was hot before. Luckily he didn't know where I lived and didn't have a car and eventually gave up.


Wow, I'm glad you got out when you did. That's scary.


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## Paul (Feb 13, 2014)

For those unfamiliar with the term "Catfish".



Urban Dictionary said:


> A catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they're not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.
> 
> Did you hear how Dave got totally catfished last month?! The fox he thought he was talking to turned out to be a pervy guy from San Diego!
> 
> ...


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## FatAndProud (Feb 16, 2014)

I've been lucky, I guess. However, if I meet someone from online...I have to cam, talk on phone, and just get happy vibes from them. I'm not desperate. You better be a hot mf'er before I meet you. Sorry. <3


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## superodalisque (Feb 22, 2014)

yep there are a LOT of catfish in the community of all kinds of types. there are looks catfish, health catfish, fat politics catfish, savvy feminist catfish, catfish who come off as emotionally stable online, catfish who come off as nice online. if you go to an event there will always be a lot of "WHAT THE HELL!"s. one good thing about events is that they can be a relatively safe way to find out exactly what is what. actually that can be a part of the fun of it as long as you haven't fallen for absolutely everything you read online. that can turn out to be pretty sad. sometimes i see stuff people write on these forums and i really do feel like saying. "you forgot that i've met you right?". but i just can't bring myself to be that mean.


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## Tracyarts (Feb 22, 2014)

I didn't get catfished in the romantic sense, but I did encounter a woman in the online fat community who has Munchausen by Internet. 

We "bonded" over a shared health condition, and in the beginning she was a source of support and a wealth of information about the condition. She even helped me find the doctor in my city who ultimately put me on the right treatment path. 

But then things changed. She started to deteriorate rapidly in a cascade of health crisis after health crisis, none of which would respond to any kind of medical intervention. It got to the point where she was in and out of the hospital. And then one day I got word from her husband that she was taken to the hospital in very bad condition and it looked like death was imminent.

Except it wasn't.

She wasn't dying.

She wasn't even in the hospital.

It was just a mind fuck. 

When the game was up, she turned on me and made this bizarre accusation that I was stalking her and she had to fake her death to escape from me. 

I'm not the only person she played. I have spoken to another woman that had an almost identical online experience with this same person. 

She never asked for money or material goods, in fact, she turned down my offer to send her things when she would talk about her desperate state of poverty and all of the things she was having to do without. 

The whole experience left me feeling creeped out and unsettled. 

Tracy


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## Paul (Feb 22, 2014)

Tracy I would (at least on one level) feel sorry for her since by her behaviour she most likely was/is originating from a mental illness. On another level her behaviour is creepy. The experience you recounted does make one rethink the many stories of pleas for help by persons suffering from serious illness. How many pleas are legitimate? Sure some are scams seeking money to finance medical treatment when they are not sick, I wonder how many of these pleas are from persons catfishing the internet populace? Are these catfishers who are suffering from metal illness. I agree there are likely some catfishers are simply evil or at the least mischief makers who portray themselves to be what they are not and get a thrill out of the hurt they cause their victims.



Tracyarts said:


> I didn't get catfished in the romantic sense, but I did encounter a woman in the online fat community who has Munchausen by Internet.
> 
> We "bonded" over a shared health condition, and in the beginning she was a source of support and a wealth of information about the condition. She even helped me find the doctor in my city who ultimately put me on the right treatment path.
> 
> ...


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## Yakatori (Feb 23, 2014)

Tracyarts said:


> "_She even helped me find the doctor in my city who ultimately put me on the right treatment path....She never asked for money or material goods, in fact, she turned down my offer to send her things when..._"


Well, look, in certain contexts, even just the Diet-Coke of Evil is still evil-enough.

But-seriously, between all of these posts and those in other threads, I kind of feel like the original meaning of the term has, somehow, disintegrated in a manner which bears addressing as follows: A true-Catfish is more than just some individual misrepresenting themselves towards some other who's believing-it, albeit temporarily. Even-if the later is falling in-love or in-like with the former. From the original _Catfish_ film's Wikipedia page, on why a "_Catfish_" is referred to as such:


> "_...Vince, talking with Nev, tells a story. He says that *when live cod were shipped to Asia from North America, the fish's inactivity in their tanks resulted in only mushy flesh reaching the destination; but fishermen found that putting catfish in the tanks with the cod kept them active, and thus ensured the quality of the fish.* Vince talks of how *there are people in everyone's lives who keep us active, always on our toes and always thinking. It is implied that he believes Angela to be such a person...*_"


So, from certain (demented) point of view, being called a Catfish is kind of a compliment.

As it concerns BBWs, a good number of the TV show's Catfish have been secretly-fat people, a few ladies and at least two different guys. Actually, in at least one case, both of a male & female/hetero-sexual set of participants turned out to be fatter than they'd originally, willingly let-on.

So, hopefully, some you will try to remember to just keep all of that in mind for next-time.


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## EMH1701 (Feb 23, 2014)

Never had that happen, but I have dated some real losers from other web sites.


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## tonynyc (Feb 23, 2014)

bigmac said:


> Never had a date who used someone else's photo but I did meet a woman who used a really old photo that didn't look anything like she currently looked. *Ironically before we met IRL we spent several hours on the phone with her vetting pretty much every aspect of my life* (including how old *my* profile photos were).



I bolded your points- that is very important and hopefully (but not always) gives an opportunity to try to get a sense of what someone is like. Of course the real test of knowing someone is spending significant amount of time IRL. So how did things turn out


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## cazagordas (Feb 23, 2014)

Wow, nice to read so many interesting responses!


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## canadianbbw4u (May 21, 2014)

I met a "man" online once who lived 30 mins from me. We talked on the phone every day for weeks. He told me where he worked, what he drove and all about his family. I met him in person and he was the guy in the pictures. He told me he has this brand new truck but when I met him he was driving an old beater car. He told me friends borrowed his truck and this was their car. All was good until I get a message on FB from his g'f of 4 years.  I did call her and we talked for a good hour about all the lies. He lived with this girl and her 3 children.:doh: I busted him on it all and he told me he really wanted out of their relationship so that's why he was doing this. I had nothing to do with him after that. I did get a call from his g'f months later asking if I was with him cause she couldn't find him. Why she was still with him who knows!!! There are some crazies out there that's for sure.


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## KittyKitten (May 24, 2014)

I went on a date with a guy who lied about his job, education, and place of origin. He was a big fake!


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## Tracyarts (May 24, 2014)

I remembered that I *did* have an actual catfish experience back in the mid '90's. I met this guy online, in a Texas BBW chat room. He claimed to be living in Austin, had graduated from UT a couple years prior, so he, was just a "little bit" younger than me, and was working at a graphic design studio but dreamed of one day becoming an animator. Digital photos weren't anywhere near as easy to come by then as now, so I only ever saw a few scanned photos of him, but the photos matched how he described himself. 

I never thought much about him not being able to drive down to Houston or meet me halfway because I was in school and working and didn't have much time either. So the relationship never moved past chatting and light online flirting. I had a firm rule of "no feelings without face time" and no cyber naughtiness because I had seen friends get burned badly by falling for people online who turned out to either not be who they claimed to be or because the chemistry fizzled as soon as they met in person. So I put him in the category of somebody interesting online, but nothing more until we met in person. 

Well, it came to pass that he was going to be coming to Houston to see a big comic art exhibit at an art gallery. And if I was free, maybe we could meet at the gallery and then go to lunch together. Heck yeah we could do that!

OMG, it turned out to be a freaking teenager! like a freshman in high school. He was attending the gallery exhibit, but with his buddy and buddy's dad. Who was very confused and a bit concerned over this 20-something woman who showed up supposedly as a "friend" of his kid's school pal. It was the most awkward thing ever. I went through the exhibit, but bailed on lunch. I sent the kid an email telling him that I wasn't going to respond to him online any more and he needed to not mess with people and pretend to be somebody else. I never found out whose photos he was using. He said that he understood but was at least glad to get to meet me. 

I have to give the kid credit for his ballsiness and confidence to try and hook up with me like that. I couldn't even be angry with him, since I didn't have anything invested but a $10 ticket to a gallery show. I never, ever told anybody about it until now. I just knew I would never hear the end of it if my friends got wind of what happened. I just said that the guy never showed and I was done with him.


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## superodalisque (May 24, 2014)

i couldn't agree more with your no face time no feelings rule. that is seriously worth additional emphasis.


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## Yakatori (May 25, 2014)

If you have that type of ability, to just turn your feelings on or off; then I would say, even -with- a certain amount of face time, ideally you shouldn't or wouldn't be so invested until, like, the 5th or 6th date. Where they are asking you out.

I mean, don't be the person who's _more-invested_. The pig who brings ham to the breakfast. Instead, be like a chicken who brings eggs. Involved, engaged, but not so fully committed. Doing it that way, you won't get hurt by anyone.

Although, in that type of scenario, it might mean that you're some kind of sociopath. So, maybe-then, the point is kind of moot.


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## BigBeautifulMe (May 25, 2014)

The only kind of "catfishing" I ever experienced that I can recall right now is guys who flirted and then turned out to be married or otherwise in a serious relationship. It happened on more than one occasion. I dropped them like hot potatoes the second I found out - but the most awkward one was the time I had a wife email me and yell at me for flirting with her married husband. She'd looked at his phone and found some flirty messages we'd sent back and forth. It was really difficult having to tell her I'd had no idea he was married and that I'd never talk to him again. Seriously, douchebags, don't put the women you're flirting with in this kind of situation. It's just a dickwad move.


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## Ms Charlotte BBW (May 25, 2014)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> The only kind of "catfishing" I ever experienced that I can recall right now is guys who flirted and then turned out to be married or otherwise in a serious relationship. It happened on more than one occasion. I dropped them like hot potatoes the second I found out - but the most awkward one was the time I had a wife email me and yell at me for flirting with her married husband. She'd looked at his phone and found some flirty messages we'd sent back and forth. It was really difficult having to tell her I'd had no idea he was married and that I'd never talk to him again. Seriously, douchebags, don't put the women you're flirting with in this kind of situation. It's just a dickwad move.



That happened to me about 15 years ago. I met this guy, he lived a bit of a distance away, so we didn't see each other very often. We chatted, and saw each other when we could. We slept together once. I thought this might be the beginning of a something nice. I get a phone call from him a few days later telling me his WIFE was on the other end and that he wanted ME to tell her we were just friends. He told her we slept together but he wanted ME to tell her that it wouldn't happen again! I blasted him for lying to me and to her! I was so mad and upset all at the same time. He tried calling me again after that, but I never answered. Hopefully his wife left his ass! What a loser!


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