# a private BBW board: thoughts, please



## kayrae

When I started the FA board thread, I had an inkling that the topic was going to raise some ire from those who are against the creation of one. However, I didn't realize that within a handful of days, the discussion was going to reach 24 pages and over 8,000 views. 

*This thread is not about the FFA/FA board. I want to discuss the creation of a private BBW board.* The FFA/FAs who contributed to that proposal obviously have strong feelings about creating a private space for themselves, and I respect that need. 

What I want is a private place similar to what the FAs are asking for, a place where I can discuss my health issues in privacy. The SSBBWs already have that space. It has been explained to me that this private SSBBW board excludes men because the women do not want their discomfort to become wank fodder. Completely understandable. More so, smaller BBWs are excluded from this board because SSBBWs do not want their struggles to become a cautionary tale. Furthermore, some SSBBWs feel that smaller BBWs are condescending and can't possibly understand what they're going through because these BBWs have not reached that particular weight. Fair enough. *This thread is not about giving smaller BBWS access to the private SSBBW board.* 

What I really want is a private space, which excludes men. I'm open to having SSBBWs AND FFAs reading about my potentially embarrassing health issues, but I don't want any men reading it at all. Obviously, SSBBWs can relate to our health issues because they were once smaller and FFAs because I highly doubt they'll be wanking off. I also want a place where I can discuss my self-esteem issues and completely come out of the BBW/BHM closet. Quite frankly, I am so sick of reading about the "ideal" BBW: self-confident! pear shape! blahlblahblah! For the record, I'm comfortable posting about fat self-esteem issues on the main board; however, my self-esteem issues is beyond fat and has a lot to do with incest, rape, and generally sexual abuse perpetrated by men... hence, my desire for privacy. Maybe a protected sub-forum is a more appropriate place for that since I'm open to discussing this particular topic with you, DIMs; however, I'm uncomfortable with allowing the general public to read my thoughts on this. 

Here's where I need your input:

Smaller BBWs, do you want a private board? If yes, who gets access? Would you like to allow SSBBWs or FFAs? Or are you more interested in a protected space like the Weight Gain Board? What kind of issues do you think needs to be discussed in privacy?


----------



## TotallyReal

Maybe there is a need for one now? I dunno, but Dimensions itself caters to the BBW....so it might be a bit redundant to have a BBW board.

Although my other half would disagree with me...a lot.


----------



## stan_der_man

I actually didn't vote for any of the above... (perhaps a "Protected BBW sub-forums" is the closest to what I believe would work best, but I would think a "protected BBW Board" would be better...) Personally, I think it would make more sense to have an open BBW Board (and a FA Board of the same nature...) just as the BHM board now exists. (and combine the female FA aspect of the BHM board into the FA Board.) I don't think the boards need to be "private" (i.e. concealed from others who don't meet some "qualification" for said board...) I don't see the benefit of having such insular groups discuss things amongst themselves in a potentially homogeneous environment . It would seem to me that having these boards emphasize certain topics (BBW Board = BBW topics... FA Board = FA topics...) would be good enough to keep the discussions from getting derailed from people who are simply joining in to be condescending, while allowing for those who wish to observe discussions they might disagree with the ability to insert constructive criticism where it is appropriate. I think this concept has worked reasonably well in the Weight Board, where the Erotic Weight Gain and Fat Sexuality sub-sections have somewhat tighter restrictions of negative critique, and in the BHM Board where it is known that the emphasis is about BHM related subjects. To me having closed boards is counter productive (perhaps with exception of the SSBBW Board where very personal matters might be discussed...) but I do see the benefit of "themed" boards.


----------



## James

I have no objection, nor do I believe (as an FA) I have any particular right to object, to such an idea. Which means I chose not to vote for any of the above options.


----------



## Wild Zero

I think one group being ignored in these debates are new members. How would they be able to join the proposed private forums? If the forums are private there's going to be membership criteria (as the SSBBW board has) which would exclude new members from some potentially interesting and helpful discussions.


----------



## 1300 Class

I think this is a bad move. All its doing is reinforcing social cliques and throwing up new social boundries and fences, something I thought Dimensions was tearing down. 

Having closed boards is nothing but bad news for everyone involved.


----------



## Emma

I didn't vote. Theres no option for I'm fat and don't think a board is needed lol


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

I voted for a women's board. I think that would be pretty cool


----------



## FaxMachine1234

kayrae said:


> More so, smaller BBWs are excluded from this board because SSBBWs do not want their struggles to become a cautionary tale. Furthermore, some SSBBWs feel that smaller BBWs are condescending and can't possibly understand what they're going through because these BBWs have not reached that particular weight. Fair enough. *This thread is not about giving smaller BBWS access to the private SSBBW board.*



I didn't vote because that is what I would have voted for. Also, if that's what the SSBBWs are saying, well that sounds pretty condescending as well.


----------



## exile in thighville

i'll abstain from voting, but just a few things to consider yourselves (pologies in advance to kayrae's wishes for bringing up the unavoidable):

1. a "smaller bbw" board is neither reflexive of an fa board (which would allow females...will this board allow bhms?) or the ssbbw board (which deals with issues related to size...what sorts of issues does the majority of this website feels need to be private other than the need to compensate with a private board for themselves?)

2. "bbws" make up the majority of dimensions...are there any specific instances or topics where they have been controverted or stifled on a large scale that would've had significantly different and more constructive outcomes were they limited to private discussion? this is subjective and broad, but it should be considered

3. defining a "bbw" deemed eligible for this board would be nearly impossible...where would the cutoff be, 160 lbs? 170 lbs? height? what would differentiate ineligible bbws, being too big for the board? this is extremely broad, as opposed to fat admiration where the only qualifier is that you admire folks of size. would the predominantly female-oriented boards really be limiting the members according to size while the male ones accept anyone, thin to supersize? isn't there something wrong with that?

4. reactive; i'm not sure the best circumstance or reason to open one of these is so that people who don't qualify for other private forums feel left out. this would be the worst reason to start this board, catering to the most spiteful and alienating characteristics of dims of late.

5. from an fa perspective, the bbws here are drastically more united than the fas, for whom acceptance is strongly preferred but inevitably optional. if one were to take a poll of how many women would agree that their best ladyfriend they met via dims versus how many men have met their best male friend on average, the ratio would be extremely disparate. on another front, the "admirers" would be granted a unique turn from their reason for being here in the first place: the fa board would not be a place of "admiration" like the existing admirer/admiree interactive boards, but rather admirer-to-admirer talk. i do not see how the bbw/bbw experience would be exceptionally different from this main board itself, or the interaction on more female-oriented boards such as the clothing board. 

6. slippery slope. if everyone keeps cutting smaller slivers of pie our webmaster might just decide to abandon the plans for these private boards altogether, rightfully citing the silliness of everyone insisting on their own slice.


----------



## kayrae

Dan, I'm glad that you're asking some pretty good questions. Because when it all comes down to it, I'm still thinking about everything this "BBW board" would entail. (NO need to apologize, this does need to be discussed). Quite frankly, if the FAs will be granted their privacy, I feel entitled to be able to discuss private health issues as well. But y'know... whatevs. I feel rather tired about all of this. Just felt that it needed to be brought up since so much vitriolic diatribe have been posted as of late.


----------



## 1300 Class

In all fairness, its hardly "private", I mean you seem to be casting fairly large brush strokes about what private really is and isn't. 

So let me pose this. 

Lets not beat about the bush. I'm a fat chap. I am also an FA. If they both have their "private" boards, can I be a member of both, is that fair on other respective members from either, who would wish to remain the exclusive of one or the other? How therefore is my private discussion confidential or restricted to both? Who becomes defacto head of these private forums?

That was just an example. 



> I feel entitled to be able to discuss private health issues as well.


To postulate another example. Maybe Hyde Park should be divvied up between conservative and liberal "clubs" and a neutral meeting ground? Or maybe by nation or grouping perhaps, where say a Commmonwealth board is private so that its members can all secretly slagg off the yankees!!!




If you want to have purely private discussions, things like the various IM or social networking sites that have more personal control over privacy are far better for private conversations than in a forum, whether its public or restricted. To me, thats discussing something in private. 

I have seen this happen on other forums, and it does nothing but end in tears for all involved.


----------



## CleverBomb

This has happened before, and probably will happen again.

Just wondering if it's happened on other boards you (generic you) chat on, _recently_.
Is it just here, or is it happening elsewhere online or off, too?
And, if the latter, is it spontaneous or is it being driven by something?

I'm not active on the other board these days, so I have no idea if it's come up there again.

I posted on it back in '06:
*If You Chat or Post Elsewhere...*


> The current ruckus about the various "size" discussions and dissent brought to mind that on a motorbike discussion board I post to frequently, there was a suggestion -- and mild almost-flamewar (it's a very polite group) -- that sub-forums be set up for just women and just men.
> 
> I'm wondering if this is just a coincidence, or if anyone has seen this sort of divisiveness on other boards or chatrooms happening in the last week or so, particularly? As far as I know, I'm the only overlap between that group and this one, so it's not that it's the same people or their friends doing it.
> 
> I'm pretty much media- and pop-culture illiterate, so I'm asking... has there been anything either online (news stories or lifestyle blurbs on Yahoo/AOL/Myspace/whatever's home page) or on TV recently that made the point that there are some things that women shouldn't or can't talk about with men, or vice versa?
> For those who attend church services, have recent sermons focused on the traditional roles of men and women, and the separation between the two?
> 
> And, if you've participated in the ruckus here, have you seen anything recently that resonated with the points you made or were arguing?
> 
> I know that these sort of conflicts come up periodically, but was suprised that it happened simultaneously in two distinct online communities.
> 
> -Rusty



By the way, it was an interesting and entertaining challenge to find that thread. 

-Rusty


----------



## BeaBea

Wild Zero said:


> I think one group being ignored in these debates are new members. How would they be able to join the proposed private forums? If the forums are private there's going to be membership criteria (as the SSBBW board has) which would exclude new members from some potentially interesting and helpful discussions.



I do see your point, and yes, new members might be seen to be missing out on some potentially useful information. At the same time though there needs to be a lot of trust involved when revealing intimate and personal information of the kind that needs a private board. It takes time to build that trust and the best way of doing that in an online forum is to ensure that the proposed member has a certain amount of time served and/or a certain number of posts under their belt before they dive in. 

We've all seen the Trolls and the Drive-Byes come and go from Dimensions but these are exactly the people who cant ever be allowed access to the private boards. Once a newbie has got involved in the community and gained trust all of the information on the private boards is still there waiting for them so they dont miss out, it's just delayed a little.

Tracey


----------



## BeaBea

exile in thighville said:


> 2. "bbws" make up the majority of dimensions...are there any specific instances or topics where they have been controverted or stifled on a large scale that would've had significantly different and more constructive outcomes were they limited to private discussion? this is subjective and broad, but it should be considered



Just to pick up on this one point - it doesnt take a lot of responses to divert or stifle a useful discussion, sometimes just one 'pstpixplzthnx' or 'hawt' type response is enough to kill a thread stone dead. The fapper who posts the comment isn't representative of typical FA's on the board and will probably be pounced upon and given a good kicking by the sensible and sensitive men who are contributing to the thread, but by then the damage is done. 

(There is a specific example I'm thinking of but I dont have time to search right now  If you think a specifc example will be helpful to the debate I'll try to track it down.)

Tracey


----------



## KHayes666

Question, wouldn't a private FA board or a BBW board basically be considered segregation?

This is supposed to be a board where everyone comes together, so why do you want a board where only certain types are allowed mingle with each other?

Just my two cents


----------



## Observer

Why not a public/private set of boards for BBW-specific topics? 

I can see value in letting non-bbws participate in discussion of some things while there may be a genuine need or desire for privacy in other areas.


----------



## FaxMachine1234

Observer said:


> Why not a public/private set of boards for BBW-specific topics?
> 
> I can see value in letting non-bbws participate in discussion of some things while there may be a genuine need or desire for privacy in other areas.



But we already have non-bbws participating in bbw-related discussion on the boards we already have...


----------



## Weeze

No.
This is not happening again. 

there is no need for a bbw board. Why? because this entire site is a bbw board. This whole site is an FA board, but hey, I guess THAT argument's over. 




Observer said:


> Why not a public/private set of boards for BBW-specific topics?
> 
> I can see value in letting non-bbws participate in discussion of some things while there may be a genuine need or desire for privacy in other areas.



That's what this ALREADY IS!!!
No bbw board. End of thread.
Move on.


----------



## AshleyEileen

I had no idea there were private boards.

Also, I'm sure this would open the debate up as to when BBW becomes SSBBW.


----------



## olwen

CurvyEm said:


> I didn't vote. Theres no option for I'm fat and don't think a board is needed lol



I didn't vote either because that option wasn't there. I don't think the board is neeeded and then well, how to define a smaller bbw? A size 14 a size 26? What if you're a gay bbw and the stuff you read about turns you on? What then? Why private instead of just protected? The existing boards seem like enough to me.


----------



## mszwebs

I will make no argument for or against a BBW board. I will comment, though, on a board for "smaller" BBW, and how I think that is just...ridiculous, to be perfectly frank.

As Dan pointed out...

Logistically, it would be nearly impossible to define and confine the posters to a board that the only requirement for entry be that you be a fat chick who is smaller than the size needed to get into the SSBBW forum. This idea is made even more ridiculous when you consider that there are SSBBW on here that don't participate in that forum what so ever, by their own choice. You can not force those women to participate in a sub forum that they don't want to be in. This isn't camp. We can't make anyone pick an afternoon activity, or assign them one if they don't want one.

OR,

I am a member of the SSBBW forum. Say I go on a diet and I don't find myself fitting in with that group in the same context anymore. I come to the Smaller BBW board. Then, shit, I gain it all back. Back to the other board for me! 

How is that productive on ANY level? And how would you like to not only be the Mod that has to shuffle people about like that ("I'm sorry Jess, but, please keep your weight stable... I can't keep adjusting your posting on a monthly basis. This is the third time we've had to adjust you from Super Fatty down to Big Ole Fatty in the last month in a half. Sort it out."), but be the member who keeps being asked to move. 

OUCH. Then it turns into this whole thing of... I don't fit in amongst the SS girls, nor am I of a size of the Smaller BBWs... where do I fit in? I mean, we bitch about it all the time on this board, in terms of men. "I'm not fat ENOUGH for this guy, but I'm TOO fat for this one over here. Obviously, this is why I'm single, because I'm not good enough for anyone."

Bull shit. 

BULL SHIT.


***And Ekim, I don't really think that the SSBBWs are saying that IS what this topic is about... Kayrae is just trying to cut discussion off at the pass, so really, attacking the SSBBWs for being condescending is just causing more drama that doesn't need to be here.

Chill.***


----------



## Sandie S-R

kayrae said:


> Dan, I'm glad that you're asking some pretty good questions. Because when it all comes down to it, I'm still thinking about everything this "BBW board" would entail. (NO need to apologize, this does need to be discussed). Quite frankly, if the FAs will be granted their privacy, I feel entitled to be able to discuss private health issues as well. But y'know... whatevs. I feel rather tired about all of this. Just felt that it needed to be brought up since so much vitriolic diatribe have been posted as of late.



Here is my question. 

If the only thing you are really interested in is being able to discuss "health" issues in a private setting, then why not look at a private sub-forum for the health board instead of a private BBW forum? 

In truth, BBWS can discuss anything they want all over the forums. The only thing that would really *need* to be private would be health concerns. So my suggestion would be, drop the BBW forum idea, and propose a women only, private health forum. 

I think that pretty much sums it up.


----------



## mossystate

Sandie S-R said:


> In truth, BBWS can discuss anything they want all over the forums. The only thing that would really *need* to be private would be health concerns. So my suggestion would be, drop the BBW forum idea, and propose a women only, private health forum.



Some BBW have commented on having a _protected_ place in which to discuss not only health issues, but other things....protected...not...private. FA's can also discuss anything they want all over the forums, that's also a ...truth... yet, some are saying they want a place that is _protected_. It's just plain odd how some are defining need.


----------



## Sandie S-R

mossystate said:


> Some BBW have commented on having a _protected_ place in which to discuss not only health issues, but other things....protected...not...private. FA's can also discuss anything they want all over the forums, that's also a ...truth... yet, some are saying they want a place that is _protected_. It's just plain odd how some are defining need.



I guess the tough thing is Mossy, to get everyone to agree on what is *needed* or *wanted* in a possible new forum/s. Can we even find a majority on this? I wonder. And what serves the community in general in the best possible way?

Difficult to figure out. There seem to be a lot of differing views.


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

It's interesting that the best supported proposal (over twice as popular as the next most popular proposal) is for a general, women only board.

Perhaps the simplest idea would be for women only, and men only boards? 

I know this will sound obnoxious, and for that I apologise, but the prospect of an FA board being men only was very much frowned upon, yet the possibility of a women's board is being well received here. Is this a case of double standards?


----------



## mossystate

fatchicksrockuk said:


> It's interesting that the best supported proposal (over twice as popular as the next most popular proposal) is for a general, women only board.
> 
> Perhaps the simplest idea would be for women only, and men only boards?
> 
> I know this will sound obnoxious, and for that I apologise, but the prospect of an FA board being men only was very much frowned upon, yet the possibility of a women's board is being well received here. Is this a case of double standards?



I, too, am for the simpliest idea of men only and women only....bada bing...bada boom. And, there are those on both ' sides ' who are calling for one and not the other. That's why the simplest ideas are usually the best and cause less bloodshed.


----------



## Ernest Nagel

Why not just start a thread called "men never listen"? That'd get you all the privacy you need without having to lobby for a board. 

Seriously, I've stayed away from the FA board thread because while I concede it may have some value for younger, unresolved FA's I don't want to feel obliged to go there if it happens. I just don't feel the need to hide out, I guess? Don't like what I have to say? Snark away, have at it, sticks & stones, blah, blah. Yeah, I wish this place was a little friendlier sometimes, especially to noobs, but welcome to reality. 

I understand the assumption that privacy is supposed to make us feel safer and more secure. I'm just not sure it's accurate? So I shouldn't trust that any women could ever feel empathy or understanding for what I'm dealing with? Assume that only guys can relate to feeling misunderstood or disrespected? Right, that'll never go badly. :doh:

It's teh fecking internets, for gawdsake! Wouldn't you rather know what people really think? I come here to get OUT of my own head. If you need someone to commiserate with, that you can count on not to ever argue with you, sell you out or undermine your delusions get a dog. 

I really do get the need for the SSBBW board to be private. I'm also happy the GLBQT Forum isn't private. I realize this may have been more appropriate to post in the FA board thread but frankly I have no desire to wade into that whine tasting. If guys have skin so thin they can't take some girl snarking they need to toughen up, not bunker down. I think we need to stop asking Conrad to solve problems we should be able to handle for ourselves. JMO. :bow:


----------



## Sandie S-R

fatchicksrockuk said:


> It's interesting that the best supported proposal (over twice as popular as the next most popular proposal) is for a general, women only board.
> 
> Perhaps the simplest idea would be for women only, and men only boards?
> 
> I know this will sound obnoxious, and for that I apologise, but the prospect of an FA board being men only was very much frowned upon, yet the possibility of a women's board is being well received here. Is this a case of double standards?



In all honesty, Mike, I don't think it is a double standard. I think women generally prefer talking with other women only when it comes to emotional and health concerns/issues. Most men I know don't mind talking with women about their personal health and emotional issues. At least that has been my experience. I rarely see men share emotional stuff with other men. And understand that I am not saying that men are incapable of sharing emotions with other men, I'm just saying they rarely do it. Women on the other hand are usually very open with other women about that sort of thing - primarily because we think other women will "get" us better than a man will.

Also where health issues are concerned, most men don't want to know about women's health issues. You know, "TMI" and all that. I'll give you my sweet hubby as an example. He's generally OK when listening to me discuss my health issues - but he really doesn't like listening to other women talk about their personal health concerns. It makes him very uncomfortable. And the flip side to that coin is that while I am perfectly fine with telling Guy about my private health issues, I am not comfortable talking about them in an open forum where men will see it. If I were to talk about my personal health issues, it would only be in a private (women members only) forum. I think a lot of women are like that.

Bottom line is, men and women are different in how they deal with and respond to some things. It's not "bad", just different. And recognizing those differences sometimes is a good staring point for better understanding.


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

mossystate said:


> I, too, am for the simpliest idea of men only and women only....bada bing...bada boom. And, there are those on both ' sides ' who are calling for one and not the other. That's why the simplest ideas are usually the best and cause less bloodshed.



So let's look at the upsides, and who might miss out:

The numbers in my sheet indicate the number of yes's...this is the work of but 5 minutes so might not be 100% right! 

View attachment Workbook1.jpg


----------



## wrestlingguy

Give the wimmins whatever they want, I always say.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Sandie S-R said:


> Here is my question.
> 
> If the only thing you are really interested in is being able to discuss "health" issues in a private setting, then why not look at a private sub-forum for the health board instead of a private BBW forum?
> 
> In truth, BBWS can discuss anything they want all over the forums. The only thing that would really *need* to be private would be health concerns. So my suggestion would be, drop the BBW forum idea, and propose a women only, private health forum.
> 
> I think that pretty much sums it up.




Couldn't this have been done for the SSBBW forum, as well? What's the difference?


----------



## BeaBea

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Couldn't this have been done for the SSBBW forum, as well? What's the difference?



Hi GEF,
I posted this in the FA Board debate to try and explain why I value the SSBBW women only board and what for me is the difference between a women only vs supersize women only board. I hope it helps explain how I personally feel.
(I wish I could just post the link to this post but I cant figure out how.)
Tracey xx



BeaBea said:


> I get what you are saying but you kind of need to trust those of us who are SS sized that there ARE real differences.
> 
> To try to explain a little, and hopefully in terms which wont offend anyone, I have a friend with Testicular Cancer who uses a Forum similar to this one to get support and to trade information (and some really funny but horribly un-PC jokes! Lol, but I digress).
> 
> There are lots of general boards about the illness, treatments regimes, the surgeries etc and there are specific locked boards for various ailments - but he spends most of his time reading and posting in the Testicular Cancer Board. Not because the people reading and posting elsewhere aren't also suffering from the same disease, not because they wont have huge sympathy for his condition, not because he wants to be part of a secret club but because its only the people with that anatomy and those conditions that he feels comfortable enough to share his most private thoughts. I know there is plenty of discussion on what the illness means to him as a man and to his masculinity and I'm certain that similar is true on the private boards where female related cancers are discussed. I suspect those issues dont come up nearly so often on boards where conditions which equally affect both sexes are discussed.
> 
> I hope that helps explain a little why I feel the private, female only, SSBBW only board is such a valuable resource? Obviously I dont equate anything to do with being BBW/SSBBW/FA as in any way similar to having cancer but it was the only way I could think of to explain my thoughts. Oh, and this was posted with his permission, and his treatment is going well


----------



## Weeze

Just a thought...
The men only and women only stuff?

How often to we find trolls and stuff like that pretending to be these huge women?
How are you going to prove who you say you are? It's the INTERNET.


----------



## CurvaceousBBWLover

fatchicksrockuk said:


> It's interesting that the best supported proposal (over twice as popular as the next most popular proposal) is for a general, women only board.
> 
> Perhaps the simplest idea would be for women only, and men only boards?
> 
> I know this will sound obnoxious, and for that I apologise, but the prospect of an FA board being men only was very much frowned upon, yet the possibility of a women's board is being well received here. Is this a case of double standards?



I'm glad I'm not the only person who noticed this. I think it's good for women to have their board and for men to have a board. I don't think either should be private. Men and women are different and we handle life differently. 

Some people on this board have fussed about divisions and balkanization. What they fail to see is that Dimensions promotes diversity. A board for men and a board for women would allow women and men to get their gender-specific needs satisfied by engaging in discussion and comraderie with members of their own gender. By doing so, Dimensions would help to make the diversity on the board flourish.

We are all human, but we are not all the same. Differences are good.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

BeaBea said:


> Hi GEF,
> I posted this in the FA Board debate to try and explain why I value the SSBBW women only board and what for me is the difference between a women only board vs the supersize women only board we currently have. I hope it helps..
> (I wish I could just post the link to this post but I cant figure out how.)
> Tracey xx



Hi Tracy 

I'm not saying you shouldn't have a ssbbw board- just saying why is it that one for smaller bbws should be treated any differently if there ever is one? Aren't the privacy needs of other women on this site just as important? I get why the SSBBW wanted their own...without the smaller ladies. However....should it be so hard to understand why the other ladies would want a courtesy, too? Aren't we all women? 

**Personally, I would think support ALL BBWs should be on a BBW board but wonder why when a smaller bbw board is proposed, it has a "simpler solution"?


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

CurvaceousBBWLover said:


> I'm glad I'm not the only person who noticed this. I think it's good for women to have their board and for men to have a board. I don't think either should be private. Men and women are different and we handle life differently.
> 
> Some people on this board have fussed about divisions and balkanization. What they fail to see is that Dimensions promotes diversity. A board for men and a board for women would allow women and men to get their gender-specific needs satisfied by engaging in discussion and comraderie with members of their own gender. By doing so, Dimensions would help to make the diversity on the board flourish.
> 
> We are all human, but we are not all the same. Differences are good.



I would prefer it if they were private, personally. I believe people (both men and women) would be able to be more open and honest in such an environment. With appropriate moderation I can't see any major disadvantages with them being private. Obviously the moderators would have to move any threads/posts that didn't belong in them, and a good set of ground rules would be necessary.


----------



## AnnMarie

krismiss said:


> Just a thought...
> The men only and women only stuff?
> 
> How often to we find trolls and stuff like that pretending to be these huge women?
> How are you going to prove who you say you are? It's the INTERNET.



There are approval processes in place for the SS board and I'm sure similar would apply to any other possible private areas. You can never be 100%, but it would be a LOT of hoops to jump through - let's say that.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> **Personally, I would think support ALL BBWs should be on a BBW board but wonder why when a smaller bbw board is proposed, it has a "simpler solution"?



ok maybe I'm not getting it. Maybe I am thick. But what could a bbw go through that a ssbbw hasn't already gone through or IS going through? And a ssbbw is a bbw. Kinda like a square is a rectangle but a rectangle is not a square type of thing. 

I really do think a straight cut down the middle...boys on this side of the gym and girls on that side is the best compromise because no one is ever going to agree on what should happen. Everyone wants their own little safe haven and I understand that...but within the confines of dimensions, I don't think everyone will get what they want, need or deserve.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

BigBellySSBBW said:


> ok maybe I'm not getting it. Maybe I am thick. But what could a bbw go through that a ssbbw hasn't already gone through or IS going through? And a ssbbw is a bbw. Kinda like a square is a rectangle but a rectangle is not a square type of thing.
> 
> I really do think a straight cut down the middle...boys on this side of the gym and girls on that side is the best compromise because no one is ever going to agree on what should happen. Everyone wants their own little safe haven and I understand that...but within the confines of dimensions, I don't think everyone will get what they want, need or deserve.




Yep, and that's why I said I support all BBWs on one board. Just not really clear why the discussion of smaller bbw board seems offensive to some? And you're right, I DON'T KNOW what could be the true difference between me and someone much bigger....I can't read that board. Cool beans. 
That said......I'm still a woman. Why is it okay for me to discuss my vagina and bathing habits out in the open? Hell, I would expect a group of people that demanded privacy to understand why someone else might want it......:blink:


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Yep, and that's why I said I support all BBWs on one board. Just not really clear why the discussion of smaller bbw board seems offensive to some? And you're right, I DON'T KNOW what could be the true difference between me and someone much bigger....I can't read that board. Cool beans.
> That said......I'm still a woman. Why is it okay for me to discuss my vagina and bathing habits out in the open? Hell, I would expect a group of people that demanded privacy to understand why someone else might want it......:blink:



Maybe a private women's board with the supersize issues board (renamed to ssbbw issues, since it is women only) as a restricted (more private) sub-board, and a private men's board, with a ssbhm private sub-board would work?


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Yep, and that's why I said I support all BBWs on one board. Just not really clear why the discussion of smaller bbw board seems offensive to some? And you're right, I DON'T KNOW what could be the true difference between me and someone much bigger....I can't read that board. Cool beans.
> That said......I'm still a woman. Why is it okay for me to discuss my vagina and bathing habits out in the open? Hell, I would expect a group of people that demanded privacy to understand why someone else might want it......:blink:



LOL. you don't have to discuss your vagina and bathing suits out in the open! ok...you do now...but I think we want the same thing? A private women's board...right? I totally understand why you want privacy!!


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

BigBellySSBBW said:


> LOL. you don't have to discuss your vagina and bathing suits out in the open! ok...you do now...but I think we want the same thing? A private women's board...right? I totally understand why you want privacy!!



Where did the effing bathing suits come from???  Are you fantasizing about GEF in a bathing suit again??


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

fatchicksrockuk said:


> Where did the effing bathing suits come from???  Are you fantasizing about GEF in a bathing suit again??




Maybe.....:wubu: you jealous???


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Maybe.....:wubu: you jealous???



Babe, I do believe: 

View attachment user8616_pic277_1214037416.jpg


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

fatchicksrockuk said:


> Where did the effing bathing suits come from???  Are you fantasizing about GEF in a bathing suit again??





fatchicksrockuk said:


> Babe, I do believe:




All your fault!


----------



## Weeze

AnnMarie said:


> There are approval processes in place for the SS board and I'm sure similar would apply to any other possible private areas. You can never be 100%, but it would be a LOT of hoops to jump through - let's say that.



Thanks, AM 

This is really the biggest concern i've had with any of it.
Including/excluding the "wrong" people...


----------



## stan_der_man

fatchicksrockuk said:


> Babe, I do believe:





BigBellySSBBW said:


> All your fault!



Oh sweet jeezus you two get a room for cryin' out loud! 


BTW Kayrae... don't feel bad about this thread. I and others floated this same topic regarding FAs many moons ago and basically got the exact same floggin'. That's why I'm the angry, jaded piece of shit you see here today... :happy:


Anyhoo... Here's an idea I've been floating... kinda like how a turd floats in a swimming pool...

*--------------->Click this link if you dare... <-------------*


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

fa_man_stan said:


> Oh sweet jeezus you two get a room for cryin' out loud!



We have, still doesn't stop us arguing across the internet too


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

fa_man_stan said:


> Oh sweet jeezus you two get a room for cryin' out loud!
> 
> 
> BTW Kayrae... don't feel bad about this thread. I and others floated this same topic regarding FAs many moons ago and basically got the exact same floggin'. That's why I'm the angry, jaded piece of shit you see here today... :happy:
> 
> 
> Anyhoo... Here's an idea I've been floating... kinda like how a turd floats in a swimming pool...
> 
> --------------->Click this link if you dare... <-------------





lol. Stan...we are less than 5 feet away from eachother tap tap tapping on the keyboard, lol. We are a sad married couple!


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

BigBellySSBBW said:


> lol. Stan...we are less than 5 feet away from eachother tap tap tapping on the keyboard, lol. We are a sad married couple!



Beat you to it, by at least 3 seconds


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Oh and back to the thread at hand. GEF brought up that people were offended by the mention of a smaller bbw forum.

I'm not offended. I'm kinda baffled. Small bbws are the majority of America...they have become the average woman. Now given, the small bbws here at dims are not diet obsessed thin wanna bes, but is that enough to warrant their own private board?

I guess I'm confused about what small bbws would discuss that women in general couldn't discuss together. Sooo I'm not offended....just curious, I guess.


----------



## stan_der_man

fatchicksrockuk said:


> We have, still doesn't stop us arguing across the internet too





BigBellySSBBW said:


> lol. Stan...we are less than 5 feet away from eachother tap tap tapping on the keyboard, lol. We are a sad married couple!



Oh... OK... in that case... never mind. 


Carry on... stiff upper lip and all!


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Oh and back to the thread at hand. GGF brought up that people were offended by the mention of a smaller bbw forum.
> 
> I'm not offended. I'm kinda baffled. Small bbws are the majority of America...they have become the average woman. Now given, the small bbws here at dims are not diet obsessed thin wanna bes, but is that enough to warrant their own private board?
> 
> I guess I'm confused about what small bbws would discuss that women in general couldn't discuss together. Sooo I'm not offended....just curious, I guess.



Who is GGF? Green Googly Fairy?


----------



## fatgirlflyin

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Oh and back to the thread at hand. GEF brought up that people were offended by the mention of a smaller bbw forum.
> 
> I'm not offended. I'm kinda baffled. Small bbws are the majority of America...they have become the average woman. Now given, the small bbws here at dims are not diet obsessed thin wanna bes, but is that enough to warrant their own private board?
> 
> I guess I'm confused about what small bbws would discuss that women in general couldn't discuss together. Sooo I'm not offended....just curious, I guess.



I'm not GEF but I'm gonna kinda try to tackle this, just the way I see it. I'm in the SSBBW forum, I meet the requirements to be there. Barely. I'm actively trying to lose weight so when I drop below that weight requirement I will likely be asked to leave. I get that, and will be fine with it. BUT, I will not feel as comfortable posting in a general area some of the things I've posted in the SSBBW threads.

For example, say I'm at a bbq, I sit in a chair and that chair breaks. I'm going to be mortified, I may laugh at it later amongst friends but I'm gonna be embarassed beyond all belief. I can guarantee you that there will be some ass out there who chooses to post how hot he/she finds it that I broke a fucking chair. I'm here posting, looking for someone who understands how I felt at that very moment and in the few moments afterwards, not to provide jerk off material. 

Also, I have seen some smaller fat girls being told by bigger fat girls that they should be grateful they don't have it as hard as them. Be glad that they have more choices for clothing, etc... That street goes both ways. Its sad that it does, but it does nonetheless.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Ella Bella said:


> I'm not GEF but I'm gonna kinda try to tackle this, just the way I see it. I'm in the SSBBW forum, I meet the requirements to be there. Barely. I'm actively trying to lose weight so when I drop below that weight requirement I will likely be asked to leave. I get that, and will be fine with it. BUT, I will not feel as comfortable posting in a general area some of the things I've posted in the SSBBW threads.
> 
> For example, say I'm at a bbq, I sit in a chair and that chair breaks. I'm going to be mortified, I may laugh at it later amongst friends but I'm gonna be embarassed beyond all belief. I can guarantee you that there will be some ass out there who chooses to post how hot he/she finds it that I broke a fucking chair. I'm here posting, looking for someone who understands how I felt at that very moment and in the few moments afterwards, not to provide jerk off material.
> 
> Also, I have seen some smaller fat girls being told by bigger fat girls that they should be grateful they don't have it as hard as them. Be glad that they have more choices for clothing, etc... That street goes both ways. Its sad that it does, but it does nonetheless.




So is a smaller bbw just someone who does belong to the ssbbw forum?

I get what you are saying...and ya know, in a year, I probably will be kicked out of the ssbbw forum as well...so I'm with ya there. It's just when people say "smaller bbw" instead off bbw....it puts an image in my head. After all isn't a bbw smaller than a ssbbw? So then what is a small bbw?


----------



## fatgirlflyin

BigBellySSBBW said:


> So is a smaller bbw just someone who does belong to the ssbbw forum?
> 
> I get what you are saying...and ya know, in a year, I probably will be kicked out of the ssbbw forum as well...so I'm with ya there. It's just when people say "smaller bbw" instead off bbw....it puts an image in my head. After all isn't a bbw smaller than a ssbbw? So then what is a small bbw?




I don't know that's why I hate all the damn labels. 

I wish that we could all just support each other.
I wish that someone who is 500 pounds never felt as though they were being viewed as something no fat girl would ever let herself get to.
I wish that other fat girls didn't have their opinions diminished because they weren't "fat enough".

None of its gonna happen, but I wish for it anyway. 

ETA: One of the other reasons I enjoy the SSBBW forum is that my stalker can't stalk me there. She's not a member and the group is so small I'd know if she became one. I enjoy being able to truly be myself there.


----------



## superodalisque

i love the SSBBW forum. i think its great because people feel less pressure to be like other people and fit in. its more honest. every group has thier own particular concerns. i think smaller BBWs should have a forum. i know for a fact that smaller BBWs get treated differently. a lot of them get insulted by FAs and SSBBWs. they have many reasons why they feel they can't say what they may need to in the public forum. they need a place were they can let their hair down too. i know people would be all over thier case if they said some things in the public forum that they really felt. some of the other folks would take it as an insult. if there isn't a demand for it time will tell anyway. but in general you'll note that with all of these private forums people still post in the general ones the most. so i really don't see why it should be a big deal if groups have private forums. after all its all about a hunger for community and the general forum satisfies that.


----------



## superodalisque

Ella Bella said:


> I don't know that's why I hate all the damn labels.
> 
> I wish that we could all just support each other.
> I wish that someone who is 500 pounds never felt as though they were being viewed as something no fat girl would ever let herself get to.
> I wish that other fat girls didn't have their opinions diminished because they weren't "fat enough".
> 
> None of its gonna happen, but I wish for it anyway.
> 
> ETA: One of the other reasons I enjoy the SSBBW forum is that my stalker can't stalk me there. She's not a member and the group is so small I'd know if she became one. I enjoy being able to truly be myself there.




me too!!!! the giving of tolerance is waaay low around here from people who say they want to get tolerance.


----------



## kayrae

To answer your question, I am referring to BBWs who don't have access to the SSBBW private board. For us to also have a place where we can talk about our health issues in privacy. I don't see the creation of this board to be divisive.


----------



## ashmamma84

superodalisque said:


> i love the SSBBW forum. i think its great because people feel less pressure to be like other people and fit in. its more honest. every group has thier own particular concerns. i think smaller BBWs should have a forum. i know for a fact that smaller BBWs get treated differently. a lot of them get insulted by FAs and SSBBWs. they have many reasons why they feel they can't say what they may need to in the public forum. they need a place were they can let their hair down too. i know people would be all over thier case if they said some things in the public forum that they really felt. some of the other folks would take it as an insult. if there isn't a demand for it time will tell anyway. but in general you'll note that with all of these private forums people still post in the general ones the most. so i really don't see why it should be a big deal if groups have private forums. after all its all about a hunger for community and the general forum satisfies that.



Great post, Felecia!


----------



## kayrae

Furthermore, I started this thread with the genuine intent of hearing from women whether or not they also want a private board. I have gleaned from other discussions that there might be a need. And I've always been of the mindset of "Ask and ye shall receive." I mean, Conrad and the other mods hold all the power in granting my request. The answer could be no. That's fine. I just don't see the point in not asking at all.

This thread is not the proposal. This thread is a genuine question to all BBWS: Do you want a private place to discuss health issues? If the answer is no, that's OK too. But I want one. If I'm the only one who wants it, then obviously I need to find another place to fulfill my needs. But I see DIMs as my community. Why can't I ask my community if they also want what I need?



kayrae said:


> To answer your question, I am referring to BBWs who don't have access to the SSBBW private board. For us to also have a place where we can talk about our health issues in privacy. I don't see the creation of this board to be divisive.


----------



## AnnMarie

kayrae said:


> ... I mean, Conrad and the other mods hold all the power in granting my request. ...




Just Conrad, just so that's clear. We can provide opinions (even when they're not requested! hahah) but ultimately any choice made her for additions/subtractions, changes is up to Conrad.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

BigBellySSBBW said:


> LOL. you don't have to discuss your vagina and bathing suits out in the open! ok...you do now...but I think we want the same thing? A private women's board...right? I totally understand why you want privacy!!



Bingo....as women....of any size, don't we all have things we just want to talk about with other ladies? Especially things like the menses or any problems we might have with our lady parts? For all I do say on these forums, you can believe there is a LOT I don't about my body.....

I have been quite vocal out in the threads lately....big secret revealed is that isn't always easy for me. I would be more comfortable with just other ladies on a few things (Yesh, I have made it quite clear I love the menfolk but sometimes they cannot understand....just like some of us smaller people cannot understand being SSBBW- we can empathize but we have not lived it- you are correct). However, that being said, if it was said by Conrad that there will be no other private boards, then I'm good with that, too. I enjoy my time here and my rapport with some. 

Just saying that even though we're different sizes....and I do recognize that I would have a different way of doing things at a bigger size...we're all still women. 
I see it said that some of the smaller ladies probably say insensitive things that hurt sometimes...know what? That is probably true. Hell, *I* could have said some stupid things and not even realize it. 
I have a SS step sister I love a lot.....she has had some issues I don't. Sometimes, she says things that remind me of our size difference and I feel like an ass for not realizing the difficulties she is having much sooner. :blush:
Would be educational for some of us though, kind of like that "Dating a SSBBW" thread is, to know the issues/problems so we can have a more sensitive outlook. However, the SSBBW right to privacy is most important, IMO. 



BigBellySSBBW said:


> Oh and back to the thread at hand. GEF brought up that people were offended by the mention of a smaller bbw forum.
> 
> I'm not offended. I'm kinda baffled. Small bbws are the majority of America...they have become the average woman. Now given, the small bbws here at dims are not diet obsessed thin wanna bes, but is that enough to warrant their own private board?
> 
> *I guess I'm confused about what small bbws would discuss that women in general couldn't discuss together.* Sooo I'm not offended....just curious, I guess.



I actually concur....and feel like the input from SSBBW could as valuable as input from other women in general. It's just that we DO NOT have a safe haven like our bigger counter parts do. THAT is the issue....not that YOU shouldn't have one but rather that we DO NOT have one. Or that is how I see it anyway. 

What would I like to talk about on a BBW forum?

*Childbirth 
*Dropped uterus issues- I won't even go into the issues that can give out in the open. Nuh uh, no way. Would be nice to hear from other mothers....or Miss Vicki, the resident childbirth expert. She is always kind and has positive useful input. I would hope she would join a BBW forum......
I am guessing that the SSBBW board has Diana.......can we have too many caring ladies to help each other out though? 

Some of this stuff...I just won't say...even in a "protected forum". I truly don't want the menfolk to know about some of my issues after giving birth. 

I have trouble, at 280 lbs, with some reach or discomfort due to my shape. It would be nice if others my size, or bigger, could share their input at tackling these type of problems. 
For instance, I had a boil develop at the top of my thigh recently. I moved my belly to see it...but then my boob got in the way. Move the boob...guess what happens? I had to have my daughter, all grossed out, help me. I think others might have advice....some ingenious ways of doing things that I just haven't figured out yet. 



Ella Bella said:


> I'm not GEF but I'm gonna kinda try to tackle this, just the way I see it. I'm in the SSBBW forum, I meet the requirements to be there. Barely. I'm actively trying to lose weight so when I drop below that weight requirement I will likely be asked to leave. I get that, and will be fine with it. BUT, I will not feel as comfortable posting in a general area some of the things I've posted in the SSBBW threads.
> 
> For example, say I'm at a bbq, I sit in a chair and that chair breaks. I'm going to be mortified, I may laugh at it later amongst friends but I'm gonna be embarassed beyond all belief. I can guarantee you that there will be some ass out there who chooses to post how hot he/she finds it that I broke a fucking chair. I'm here posting, looking for someone who understands how I felt at that very moment and in the few moments afterwards, not to provide jerk off material.
> 
> Also, I have seen some smaller fat girls being told by bigger fat girls that they should be grateful they don't have it as hard as them. Be glad that they have more choices for clothing, etc... That street goes both ways. Its sad that it does, but it does nonetheless.



Thank you Ella. Matter of fact, back on the Fourth of July, I had an old lawn chair crack....LOUDLY...and then plummet to the ground underneath me at a VERY CROWDED fireworks display. Yeah...people saw me alright. I could tell that even my mother felt badly for me....:blink:
I'm "only" 280 but I still have things happen to me, is my point. 



BigBellySSBBW said:


> So is a smaller bbw just someone who does belong to the ssbbw forum?
> 
> I get what you are saying...and ya know, in a year, I probably will be kicked out of the ssbbw forum as well...so I'm with ya there. It's just when people say "smaller bbw" instead off bbw....it puts an image in my head. After all isn't a bbw smaller than a ssbbw? So then what is a small bbw?





kayrae said:


> To answer your question, I am referring to BBWs who don't have access to the SSBBW private board. For us to also have a place where we can talk about our health issues in privacy. I don't see the creation of this board to be divisive.



Personally, I think even the thin FFAs could have valuable input into a woman's board. However, a woman's board should also include room for discussion of low self esteem issues, dating, etc. 
I see so many of the newer BBW on here saying some sad things about why they did this and that.......fuck, they shouldn't have to say that in the open, I think at times. 

Once again, I'm not "put out" about a SSBBW board......I just feel "left out".


----------



## mszwebs

kayrae said:


> To answer your question, I am referring to BBWs who don't have access to the SSBBW private board. For us to also have a place where we can talk about our health issues in privacy. I don't see the creation of this board to be divisive.



Since you didn't quote, I'm not sure exactly who this post refers to, but earlier, Donni questioned, in response to GEF, what kind of issues that BBW who are smaller than the required size needed to be involved in the SSBBW could have that the SSBBW have not probably already been through.

The inverse is not always the case, and as has been mentioned a number of times, every time this fricking debate comes along and drags the SSBBW forum in kicking and fricking screaming, there have been instances where BBW who are NOT Supersized have made commentary that have made some of the ladies in that forum uncomfortable. Not only with advice that really, straight up doesn't work (even given with the best of intentions) ...but with comments that play out as full of pity and sometimes, disgust.

And I'm not trying to paint any and all BBW with broad strokes, here or say that ALL of the BBW board members who don't have posting access to the SSBBW forum would do or have done this, because shit, THAT would be offensive lol. And completely untrue.

But the fact is, it DOES happen. And the women of that forum have the right to be protected from the wanking over personal issues, as well as the pity and disgust that comes up from insensitive people.

AS DO THE REST OF THE WOMEN HERE.  
*edit: And the men deserve their space as well*

Just to be clear, I voted for a private board for women only.


Also, it took me a really long time to respond to write this post, and I see that a number of other people have posted since I started writing...so now I feel dumb lol because some of this has already been addressed...but I'm going to post it anyway.

And GEF... I definitely understand why you would want those kind of discussions private and I agree 100%.



I don't even know what I'm writing anymore.


----------



## FaxMachine1234

mszwebs said:


> The inverse is not always the case, and as has been mentioned a number of times, every time this fricking debate comes along and drags the SSBBW forum in kicking and fricking screaming, there have been instances where BBW who are NOT Supersized have made commentary that have made some of the ladies in that forum uncomfortable. Not only with advice that really, straight up doesn't work (even given with the best of intentions) ...but with comments that play out as full of pity and sometimes, disgust.
> 
> And I'm not trying to paint any and all BBW with broad strokes, here or say that ALL of the BBW board members who don't have posting access to the SSBBW forum would do or have done this, because shit, THAT would be offensive lol. And completely untrue.



Well, saying the smaller BBWs shouldn't be allowed in because there have been "instances" of uncomfortable "commentary" (and I can't even imagine what that would be) seems to be acting the same as a broad stroke. And I'll ask again, who are these women who are displaying pity and disgust towards the larger BBWs? I don't ever see that in the public forums, and I highly doubt it'd be more likely to happen in a private board that you have to be approved to get into. And if their advice doesn't work, why does that make them unworthy for admittance? I just don't get any of the reasoning that only some BBWs are allowed into the place while others are not; I mean if we're this supposedly tight-knit community...


----------



## AnnMarie

Ekim said:


> ... I don't ever see that in the public forums, and I highly doubt it'd be more likely to happen in a private board that you have to be approved to get into. ...



I'm glad you haven't seen it and can't imagine it... that means it really is as rare a case as has been mentioned. However, because you haven't and can't doesn't it mean it hasn't happened (and did). 

Regardless of any of that, the membership of the SS forum isn't up for debate in any way (I'm not a mod there, but I feel confident saying that). It was established and developed based on a set of ground rules that were expressed ahead of sharing and any alteration that changed those basics of understanding would be a violation to those members who've built and shared trust among the membership.


----------



## FaxMachine1234

AnnMarie said:


> I'm glad you haven't seen it and can't imagine it... that means it really is as rare a case as has been mentioned. However, because you haven't and can't doesn't it mean it hasn't happened (and did).
> 
> Regardless of any of that, the membership of the SS forum isn't up for debate in any way (I'm not a mod there, but I feel confident saying that). It was established and developed based on a set of ground rules that were expressed ahead of sharing and any alteration that changed those basics of understanding would be a violation to those members who've built and shared trust among the membership.



Okay, well I still think the original basic criteria for that board was flawed but if it's immutable then I'll respect that.  I guess I'll vote for a private board for smaller BBWs, then...which is losing in the poll.


----------



## GWARrior

I think we should have a bajillion boards and sub-boards and they should all be private and segregated by gender, weight, race, religon, hair-color, sexual orientation, height and favorite color.

I want a female-smallish bbw-white-atheist-brunette-bisexual-5'8"-blue board.
And it better be fucking private. If I see one chick who is a white,5'8" bisexual, atheist, brunette smallish-bbw and her favorite color is red... I will blow a fucking gasket. Cause she has NO IDEA what blue-lovers go through.


----------



## KHayes666

GWARrior said:


> I think we should have a bajillion boards and sub-boards and they should all be private and segregated by gender, weight, race, religon, hair-color, sexual orientation, height and favorite color.
> 
> I want a female-smallish bbw-white-atheist-brunette-bisexual-5'8"-blue board.
> And it better be fucking private. If I see one chick who is a white,5'8" bisexual, atheist, brunette smallish-bbw and her favorite color is red... I will blow a fucking gasket. Cause she has NO IDEA what blue-lovers go through.



amen!

I mean, how low will we go? How many more times will we separate ourselves into categories until it becomes 9 trillion little cliques?

"Yes, I'm an F/A but since I'm not 300 pounds I won't be allowed on a certain F/A board to talk about food but since those dudes are not 180 pounds, those F/A's aren't allowed to discuss college basketball."

The community is for big girls and guys and the people who love them, so why do we have to degenerate into little factions?


----------



## Santaclear

I'd like to see a separate board for smaller BBWs and one for medium-sized. 

And a separate Complaining Men's Forum. :bow:


----------



## BeaBea

Santaclear said:


> And a separate Complaining Men's Forum. :bow:



No, sorry, but I'm totally going to need access to that. Give me five minutes and I'll come up with a good reason why.

Tracey xx


----------



## kayrae

GWAR, KHayes....

I didn't post this thread to marginalize anyone. If you aren't open to hearing out someone else's need for privacy, fine. I am asking women if they need a place in which they can discuss private health issues (physical, mental). This doesn't mean that DIMS necessarily need to fill that role. Perhaps, I would be interested in starting my own forum in a website I create which I will be able to discuss these health issues. I don't see why there's such an uproar over addressing this concern. 

We separate ourselves into different categories all the time, it doesn't mean this is a bad thing. I have stressed that what I want is a place to talk about being fat and how that is connected to my health. 

If your questions regarding health are already fulfilled, GREAT! However, I am hearing that other women also want to discuss these things privately. Not everyone has another fat woman they can talk to in person.


----------



## Sandie S-R

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Couldn't this have been done for the SSBBW forum, as well? What's the difference?



Actually no - because health is not the only thing discussed in the SS forum.
There are many different subjects pertaining to SSBBWS that are discussed. 

My point was specifically directed to Kayrae, who said that she wanted a place to privately discuss health issues, therefor I suggested a private health board for women only instead of a BBW board. 

Apples and oranges.


----------



## kayrae

I agree. That's why I suggested if people wanted a women's board instead of an exclusive BBW-only board. 



Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Personally, I think even the thin FFAs could have valuable input into a woman's board. However, a woman's board should also include room for discussion of low self esteem issues, dating, etc.
> I see so many of the newer BBW on here saying some sad things about why they did this and that.......fuck, they shouldn't have to say that in the open, I think at times.
> 
> Once again, I'm not "put out" about a SSBBW board......I just feel "left out".


----------



## mejix

we could also have a shaming and stoning board.


----------



## kayrae

Thanks for that suggestion, Sandie. I didn't really think about that as an option. I would be satisfied with something like this.



Sandie S-R said:


> Actually no - because health is not the only thing discussed in the SS forum.
> There are many different subjects pertaining to SSBBWS that are discussed.
> 
> *My point was specifically directed to Kayrae, who said that she wanted a place to privately discuss health issues, therefor I suggested a private health board for women only instead of a BBW board. *
> 
> Apples and oranges.


----------



## kayrae

Did I say that what I want is a place to "shame and stone" anyone? Did you even read anything I've written?



mejix said:


> we could also have a shaming and stoning board.


----------



## Miss Vickie

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Bingo....as women....of any size, don't we all have things we just want to talk about with other ladies? Especially things like the menses or any problems we might have with our lady parts? For all I do say on these forums, you can believe there is a LOT I don't about my body.....



*chuckle* You too? As much as I share, there's way more that I don't because I don't want it open for public consumption. Which is why I think the idea of a women's only private board (and I don't even care whether it's populated with big, small, medium women as long as it's just women) is a good idea. There is a lot that, for good reason, we don't want to share publicly.



> *Dropped uterus issues- I won't even go into the issues that can give out in the open. Nuh uh, no way. Would be nice to hear from other mothers....or Miss Vicki, the resident childbirth expert. She is always kind and has positive useful input. I would hope she would join a BBW forum......



Aw, thank you. :blush: I'd love to join, if such a group would have me. Thank you for thinking of me. 



> Once again, I'm not "put out" about a SSBBW board......I just feel "left out".



Yes. And I've been so hurt and turned off by what happened with the WLS board that I haven't posted anything about my health, because I feel like it's going to be picked apart. I would definitely appreciate a private space to share, and to help others if my knowledge and experience can be used in that way. (BTW, that boil problem? Did you try using a mirror to look at it?)



kayrae said:


> GWAR, KHayes....
> 
> I didn't post this thread to marginalize anyone. If you aren't open to hearing out someone else's need for privacy, fine.



I agree. It hurts no one to have a private board to discuss private things. No one is asking to create a zillion different board, but having a board to discuss private, potentially embarrassing issues seems really reasonable to me.



> If your questions regarding health are already fulfilled, GREAT! However, I am hearing that other women also want to discuss these things privately. Not everyone has another fat woman they can talk to in person.



So true. And a board like that would really meet that need.



Sandie S-R said:


> My point was specifically directed to Kayrae, who said that she wanted a place to privately discuss health issues, therefor I suggested a private health board for women only instead of a BBW board.
> 
> Apples and oranges.



I think that a private health board for women, open to all women, would be great. That way we can use the public health board for less... intimate... issues.


----------



## lemonadebrigade

I like the private health board idea, it'd be good to have somewhere safe to talk about my experiences and problems.


----------



## Surlysomething

I'm totally in for the private female health forum for ALL the ladies.


I special spot to talk about my special area would be a-ok. Haha.


----------



## mejix

mejix said:


> we could also have a shaming and stoning board.



this is the golden age of mejix's posts.


----------



## olwen

If a private health forum is what you're talking about Kayrae, then I can totally see the value of that for *all* women. But I couldn't participate in a meaningful way with thin women around. My sister is like a size 4 or something, and I don't talk to her about anything health related. Granted I don't talk to her about much, but if I did, the shock of it...she'd be too disgusted to deal with it, then she'd ask a bunch of embarrassing follow up questions. I'd be mortified. Granted, I know there are thin FFAs here who are awesome and who are sensitive to what fat people go thru, but they don't know all the little private personal details about being a fat woman....There are just some things that only women my size would be able to both empathize and sympathize with. One out of two isn't always enough. 

I'm not saying that thin women wouldn't have *anything* valuable to contribute to a health forum, or that we wouldn't have anything in common to discuss - of course we would, but it's just the stuff we don't that would stop me. 

I love the health forum here, but there are some things I just would never discuss there because thin women and men have access. There are lots and I do mean LOTS of things I could talk about out in the open, but some stuff, no way. If I feel that way, I'm willing to bet other women feel the same way too...I'm honestly not tying to ghettoize here, I'm just wondering how meaningful the conversations will truly be as far as health is concerned if all women were to mingle.

As for non-health issues....then too, what about the thin women who have issues that they know fat women don't have, would they feel embarrassed or guilty about discussing that stuff among their bigger counterparts? How often would they participate? 

I can see how feelings would get hurt and arguments would get started between all the women over issues like confidence and dating, how we feel about FAs, (and some of the thin women would be fat admirers too, would they feel attacked by how we might feel?) and how we generally approach life. Hell, that already happens among just the bbws as it is, and that's not necessarily a bad thing but...even after reading all the well thought out posts about what we could all discuss, I guess I'm having trouble envisioning how a private bbw or women's only board would be truly useful for all or lead to a more open dialog between us. Would the atmosphere really be that different from the existing one? 

But if more people than me feel the need for one....I don't know...I guess I'm on the fence now about this...


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Sandie S-R said:


> Actually no - *because health is not the only thing discussed in the SS forum.*
> There are many different subjects pertaining to SSBBWS that are discussed.
> 
> My point was specifically directed to Kayrae, who said that she wanted a place to privately discuss health issues, therefor I suggested a private health board for women only instead of a BBW board.
> 
> Apples and oranges.



My faux pas...I was under the impression that the SSBBW board was just about hygiene/health....or that is what has been said out in the forums numerous times.

I would be interested in a board for women to talk about more than health issues myself.


----------



## CleverBomb

fatchicksrockuk said:


> Where did the effing bathing suits come from???  Are you fantasizing about GEF in a bathing suit again??


Who doesn't?

-Rusty


----------



## AlethaBBW

I really don't know how the problem presented by the OP can be solved. Being a "smaller" BBW of 5'1" and 300 lbs doesn't make me immune to health, hygiene, and mobility problems related to size. It just leaves me without a private place to discuss them.


----------



## Sandie S-R

superodalisque said:


> i love the SSBBW forum. i think its great because people feel less pressure to be like other people and fit in. its more honest. every group has thier own particular concerns. i think smaller BBWs should have a forum. i know for a fact that smaller BBWs get treated differently. a lot of them get insulted by FAs and SSBBWs. they have many reasons why they feel they can't say what they may need to in the public forum. they need a place were they can let their hair down too. i know people would be all over thier case if they said some things in the public forum that they really felt. some of the other folks would take it as an insult. if there isn't a demand for it time will tell anyway. but in general you'll note that with all of these private forums people still post in the general ones the most. so i really don't see why it should be a big deal if groups have private forums. after all its all about a hunger for community and the general forum satisfies that.



In response to this comment : " i know for a fact that smaller BBWs get treated differently. a lot of them get insulted by FAs and SSBBWs. they have many reasons why they feel they can't say what they may need to in the public forum. "

If smaller BBWs had their own private forum they would not be able to say things against FAs and SSBBWs, in the same manner that in the SSBBW forum they are not allowed to say things against others not in their forum, and same applies to folks in the clubhouse, etc. 

One of the rules about private forums here at Dimensions is that you (general you) are not allowed to discuss someone that is not a member of that forum, because they are not there to defend themselves. The private forums are not a place to blow off steam about things or people that bother you in other parts of Dimensions. It is an important distinction to make.


----------



## Friday

I think a health forum is by far a better idea since basically any fat issue I can think of not wanting to discuss publicly would fall under that heading and yes, I'm sure it's sexist to some but I think a lesbian FA is going to have a more sympathetic (and less horndog) understanding of issues that might cause prurient interest in some male FA's, especially if she is a BBW herself.


----------



## Poncedeleon

Friday said:


> I think a health forum is by far a better idea since basically any fat issue I can think of not wanting to discuss publicly would fall under that heading and yes, I'm sure it's sexist to some but I think a lesbian FA is going to have a more sympathetic (and less horndog) understanding of issues that might cause prurient interest in some male FA's, especially if she is a BBW herself.



I don't really care who gets a private forum because there's plenty for me already, but saying that all men are sexist horndogs who objectify women and women are all sympathetic and virtuous is pretty sexist, yeah.


----------



## FreeThinker

I think a seperate, women-only Health Board would be a great idea.

As for other issues (dating and self-esteem were mentioned), I have doubts about the efficacy of a discussion-board venue, as a thread with 35 replies to a given query could easily yield 35 different answers, some of which, no doubt, would end up being unwelcome (such as this post may be).

My take is that health matters, being to some extent more quantifiable (and more universal), would more easily be dealt with on a board than would other more individual topics.

Admittedly, I may have shortcomings in my imagination which don't allow me to see the possible benefit of non health-related women-only boards.


----------



## FreeThinker

Poncedeleon said:


> I don't really care who gets a private forum because there's plenty for me already, but saying that all men are sexist horndogs who objectify women and women are all sympathetic and virtuous is pretty sexist, yeah.



What are you wearing? :batting:


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

The only way _everyone_ can have a place where they can be comfortable that not a single person can upset or offend them is if they PM themselves.

No matter how the boards are split, there will always be some people in the board you may consider the most suitable for you that you may not agree with being there i.e. thin women in a woman's board, bbws in a ssbbws board. You can't please everyone, yet it seems that some think we can!


----------



## mossystate

FreeThinker said:


> I think a seperate, women-only Health Board would be a great idea.
> 
> As for other issues (dating and self-esteem were mentioned), I have doubts about the efficacy of a discussion-board venue, as a thread with 35 replies to a given query could easily yield 35 different answers, some of which, no doubt, would end up being unwelcome (such as this post may be).
> 
> My take is that health matters, being to some extent more quantifiable (and more universal), would more easily be dealt with on a board than would other more individual topics.
> 
> Admittedly, I may have shortcomings in my imagination which don't allow me to see the possible benefit of non health-related women-only boards.



Different answers are called....discussion. An FA board would also be about lots of different answers...yes? Unless their would be one ' answer guy '. 

The benefit would be the same as it would be for FA's who are dealing with self esteem issues that have them not living the life they want to live...etc..etc.. Women can have issues, not related to the actual workings of their fat bodies, that cause them great grief. Sometimes, a body changes, in part because of struggles or outright abuse. Changes can be hard to accept, and sometimes there is a need to understand...why. Just so many....why's. I think there is sometimes too much of an emphasis of ' simply ' telling a woman to love her body. That's a nice idea. It's just a road that can be windy as all hell.


----------



## Friday

Poncedeleon said:


> I don't really care who gets a private forum because there's plenty for me already, but saying that all men are sexist horndogs who objectify women and women are all sympathetic and virtuous is pretty sexist, yeah.



Go back and reread it kiddo. It specifically says 'some men'. The majority of men are sympathetic but one brief look into the story section will make it pretty obvious that there are some who get off on the idea of big women struggling, suffering, even dying. Since I find _anyone_, man, women or beast, who finds the suffering of others to be a turn on utterly disgusting, I'm not going to openly discuss anything that might play into what I consider to be their sickness. And it's not been that long since we had a prime example of just what vicious bitches some women can be. Does that make it clear to you that I'm not tarring all men or sanctifying all women?


----------



## FreeThinker

FreeThinker said:


> Admittedly, I may have shortcomings in my imagination which don't allow me to see the possible benefit of non health-related women-only boards.



For instance:



mossystate said:


> Women can have issues, not related to the actual workings of their fat bodies, that cause them great grief. Sometimes, a body changes, in part because of struggles or outright abuse. Changes can be hard to accept, and sometimes there is a need to understand...why. Just so many....why's. I think there is sometimes too much of an emphasis of ' simply ' telling a woman to love her body. That's a nice idea. It's just a road that can be windy as all hell.



See?

That's why I never speak in absolutes.

NEVER.

(Thanks, Mossy)


----------



## mossystate

FreeThinker said:


> (Thanks, Mossy)



welcome, Free...and...hi!


----------



## kayrae

I'm not asking for a place where I won't get upset or offended. That's a rather ambitious request. *What I want is a "safe" place to talk about physical and mental health.* I feel like I have to keep saying it over and over again. I don't see this as something to divide us, but as a need that can be met. It's already being met in the SSBBW board. And now some of the FFA/FAs are asking for the same consideration. Why is it so hard to understand that privacy is so golden? 

This board probably doesn't realize how much you all mean to me. I value your knowledge and experience. I have gained a lot of perspective. I have recently realized that sometimes my skinny friends really can't relate to my physical and mental well-being, that I was seeking help from the wrong people. I don't have the luxury of going to bashes and meeting like-minded women. 



fatchicksrockuk said:


> The only way _everyone_ can have a place where they can be comfortable that not a single person can upset or offend them is if they PM themselves.
> 
> No matter how the boards are split, there will always be some people in the board you may consider the most suitable for you that you may not agree with being there i.e. thin women in a woman's board, bbws in a ssbbws board. You can't please everyone, yet it seems that some think we can!


----------



## butch

Here's my boring tangent post for this thread:

Isn't there a huge paradox in asking for any kind of private board on the internet when the internet is inherently public? We seem to be forgetting the hordes of lurkers here who would be part of these new proposed private boards and that we know nothing about, including how they'll use the information they glean from a private board to discuss sensitive issues of physical and mental health. Also, as much as I feel like I 'know' those of you who post regularly, I really don't, and so how do any of you know I'm not really Richard Simmons, researching my new fat hating reality show?

I guess these debates might signal a major shift in our culture, in terms of how much of our interpersonal communication needs are met online versus real life. If we all want a private space online to talk with others, what does that say about either the state of human connection in general, or the degree of fat hatred in the general population? 

OK, back to the debate at hand. FWIW, I did not vote, as an option I'd support wasn't included.


----------



## Weeze

Friday said:


> I think a lesbian FA is going to have a more sympathetic (and less horndog) understanding of issues that might cause prurient interest in some male FA's, especially if she is a BBW herself.



You, my friend, have obviously never been to Fantasy Feeder.

As someone who has met quite a few lesbians, and is queer herself, a lot of them really AREN'T unlike men when it comes to being "horndogs". People with sexual desires are people with sexual desires. It doesn't matter what their gender/sexual preference is.

You are wrong.
That is all.


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

kayrae said:


> I'm not asking for a place where I won't get upset or offended. That's a rather ambitious request. *What I want is a "safe" place to talk about physical and mental health.* I feel like I have to keep saying it over and over again. I don't see this as something to divide us, but as a need that can be met. It's already being met in the SSBBW board. And now some of the FFA/FAs are asking for the same consideration. Why is it so hard to understand that privacy is so golden?
> 
> This board probably doesn't realize how much you all mean to me. I value your knowledge and experience. I have gained a lot of perspective. I have recently realized that sometimes my skinny friends really can't relate to my physical and mental well-being, that I was seeking help from the wrong people. I don't have the luxury of going to bashes and meeting like-minded women.



What does "safe" mean in addition to not upset or offended?


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

butch said:


> Isn't there a huge paradox in asking for any kind of private board on the internet when the internet is inherently public?



The whole point of a _private_ board is exactly that - members require positive action to be admitted and view the posts. A private board is not inherently public. It would be pretty pointless having them if they were, but they're not.


----------



## KHayes666

So only women are allowed to talk about women's health on this "private board"?

What about the men who are married to or live with ssbbw's and want to know insider information so they can understand their roomates/girlfriends/wives/etc better?

What about the men who want to date a bbw/ssbbw and wants to know health issues so they're more prepared to handle what's possibly coming their way?

Not all men are horndogs you know


----------



## FaxMachine1234

KHayes666 said:


> So only women are allowed to talk about women's health on this "private board"?
> 
> What about the men who are married to or live with ssbbw's and want to know insider information so they can understand their roomates/girlfriends/wives/etc better?
> 
> What about the men who want to date a bbw/ssbbw and wants to know health issues so they're more prepared to handle what's possibly coming their way?
> 
> Not all men are horndogs you know



What? Like doctors let you go in with your girlfriend or wife and hang around during her check-up, so you can get "inside information"? If the woman wants to discuss her private health issues with a man, then she'd probably prefer to share it with that person on an individual basis.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Ekim said:


> What? Like doctors let you go in with your girlfriend or wife and hang around during her check-up, so you can get "inside information"? If the woman wants to discuss her private health issues with a man, then she'd probably prefer to share it with that person on an individual basis.



Yeah, I think that's the point....certain things I will share/discuss with a husband.....the men on this board aren't my husband.


----------



## Observer

OK - now that you've all been discussing it for awhile, who among those who want a BBW-specific forum has taken note of potential supporters as James did with the FA/FFA board, begun formulating a proposal that you will be willing to own as chief stakeholder, and started peparing it for submission to Conrad?

Maybe someone has in fact already started this process and I just don't know it. If so, I apologize. What I do know is that specifics and commitment, along with flexibility and tone, do count; merely saying "yeah, it would be nice to have" won't likely cut it. 

And these things do take time. It took nearly two years for the Health Board and the first cycle for the FA/FFA board was last Spring. GLBTQ is in fact a 21st Century reincarnation of SIG's that existed ages ago. 

Just suggesting ...


----------



## kayrae

I'm preparing one. This is the research stage.


----------



## kayrae

Perhaps you've missed the entire point of me wanting privacy. So let me say it in caps: 

*I 
AM 
UNCOMFORTABLE 
DISCUSSING 
MY 
HEALTH 
ISSUES 
WITH 
MEN.* 

If you want to better yourself about current health issues that others are comfortable talking about in a public forum, there is already an existing health board.



KHayes666 said:


> So only women are allowed to talk about women's health on this "private board"?
> 
> What about the men who are married to or live with ssbbw's and want to know insider information so they can understand their roomates/girlfriends/wives/etc better?
> 
> What about the men who want to date a bbw/ssbbw and wants to know health issues so they're more prepared to handle what's possibly coming their way?
> 
> Not all men are horndogs you know


----------



## mossystate

kayrae said:


> Perhaps you've missed the entire point of me wanting privacy. So let me say it in caps: *I AM UNCOMFORTABLE DISCUSSING MY HEALTH ISSUES WITH MEN.* If you want to better yourself about current health issues that others are comfortable talking about in a public forum, there is already an existing health board.



Yes. Any man who has health questions about the women they love, and they want feedback from women on the boards, they can ask women...on the Health board. Some women might offer information. If you don't get the info, then that should tell you about the comfort level on the part of most women. If men are not asking, then it is understandable that many women are going to deduce that some men just want to peek into the very personal parts of the lives of Dims women.


----------



## Sandie S-R

KHayes666 said:


> So only women are allowed to talk about women's health on this "private board"?
> 
> What about the men who are married to or live with ssbbw's and want to know insider information so they can understand their roomates/girlfriends/wives/etc better?
> 
> What about the men who want to date a bbw/ssbbw and wants to know health issues so they're more prepared to handle what's possibly coming their way?
> 
> Not all men are horndogs you know



If the married men want to know about women's health issues, they need to be discussing it with their wives. 

Most women are not comfortable discussing their personal health and body issues in from of men, let alone men that they are not related to or do not know. I can tell you for a fact that women will not divulge private health info on a forum where men are allowed to read and interact. Period. It won't happen.


----------



## butch

fatchicksrockuk said:


> The whole point of a _private_ board is exactly that - members require positive action to be admitted and view the posts. A private board is not inherently public. It would be pretty pointless having them if they were, but they're not.



Yes, this is clear, but unless you've met every poster in person, you have no idea who they really are. I'm sure any board with the traffic of this one has a surprising number of active, well-regarded members who aren't at all what they claim to be. How much privacy does one feel then, when someone is chatting with BBWSEXYHONEYLIPS about a personal, gender/fat specific issue and they find out BBWSEXYHONEYLIPS in real life is Joe Smith, and is 5'10 and weighs 175 lbs? Don't feel so private then, does it, even if BBWHONEY/Joe doesn't do anything untoward with the access he's gotten to a private women's board?


----------



## exile in thighville

just wondering aloud, why aren't supersized men allowed on the supersize forum? i'd assume sympathy for those issues has less to do with gender than size...i couldn't imagine a 500 lb. guy throwing stones in a glass house so to speak. i mean i guess it's already been pre-answered by "women aren't comfortable discussing their health issues in front of men," but isn't there any significant overlap in said issues across gender lines? (a guess, i don't know shit about this).


----------



## FaxMachine1234

butch said:


> Yes, this is clear, but unless you've met every poster in person, you have no idea who they really are. I'm sure any board with the traffic of this one has a surprising number of active, well-regarded members who aren't at all what they claim to be. How much privacy does one feel then, when someone is chatting with BBWSEXYHONEYLIPS about a personal, gender/fat specific issue and they find out BBWSEXYHONEYLIPS in real life is Joe Smith, and is 5'10 and weighs 175 lbs? Don't feel so private then, does it, even if BBWHONEY/Joe doesn't do anything untoward with the access he's gotten to a private women's board?



I'm trying to think of a situation where BBWSEXYHONEYLIPS is a well-known and respected poster who is able to hide basic personal details such as his/her gender and weight category yet is admitted into a private board that requires that criteria to get in. People aren't stupid.


----------



## butch

Ekim said:


> I'm trying to think of a situation where BBWSEXYHONEYLIPS is a well-known and respected poster who is able to hide basic personal details such as his/her gender and weight category yet is admitted into a private board that requires that criteria to get in. People aren't stupid.



Really? All this info is self-reported. Do you really know if I am who I say I am? Seriously, folks lie all the time. If I had never met a Dims person in real life, then nobody here would know one thing about me, including gender and size.

I'm glad people are much more trusting than I am.


----------



## FaxMachine1234

butch said:


> Really? All this info is self-reported. Do you really know if I am who I say I am? Seriously, folks lie all the time. If I had never met a Dims person in real life, then nobody here would know one thing about me, including gender and size.
> 
> I'm glad people are much more trusting than I am.



If you were capable of pulling such subterfuge for three years and over 3700 posts, then you have much more commitment then most people on the Internet can muster. Until the day we have to start submitting birth certificates to sign up here, there needs to be a little more trust.


----------



## butch

Ekim said:


> If you were capable of pulling such subterfuge for three years and over 3700 posts, then you have much more commitment then most people on the Internet can muster. Until the day we have to start submitting birth certificates to sign up here, there needs to be a little more trust.



I'm not saying we should be paranoid, or that there shouldn't be private boards, all I'm pointing out is they won't be as private as people seem to think. Plus, the rules for admittance to the one private board we have are of a much lower threshold than my 3700 posts, so yes, I do think there will be at least one person in any private forum who isn't at all eligible for that board based on who they are in real life. Nothing bad may come from that, but then again, caveat emptor and all that.

Figured people should think about this possibility when they contemplate what a private interent board really could be.


----------



## olwen

KHayes666 said:


> So only women are allowed to talk about women's health on this "private board"?
> 
> What about the men who are married to or live with ssbbw's and want to know insider information so they can understand their roomates/girlfriends/wives/etc better?
> 
> What about the men who want to date a bbw/ssbbw and wants to know health issues so they're more prepared to handle what's possibly coming their way?
> 
> Not all men are horndogs you know



Men with wives/girlfriends who want to be able to help in that regard really need to ask their wives/girlfriends. If they've been with someone for a long time and they still don't know, then what does that tell you about the comfort level about discussing those issues with men on the part of the fat woman? 




exile in thighville said:


> just wondering aloud, why aren't supersized men allowed on the supersize forum? i'd assume sympathy for those issues has less to do with gender than size...i couldn't imagine a 500 lb. guy throwing stones in a glass house so to speak. i mean i guess it's already been pre-answered by "women aren't comfortable discussing their health issues in front of men," but isn't there any significant overlap in said issues across gender lines? (a guess, i don't know shit about this).



Some things do overlap, but then there's stuff that doesn't, and that goes for both men and women. I know there are things that some BHMs wouldn't feel comfortable discussing with women. I've even tried to find out what those things are so I could understand better, but the answer I got was it's just men stuff, and I completely understand that. I don't have a penis and they don't have a vagina. And just in general, women's reproductive systems are physically more involved then men's so there are a lot more things that can become problems. Add fat to that and there you have it.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

Okay, so, sure, why not? 

A private BBW health forum? Go for it. I forget there is even an SSBBW forum for this sort of thing until it's discussed on rare occasion on the main board. It's just going to be invisible to everyone who isn't a member and yeah, even if it wasn't, it's not like it'd say PRIVATE HEALTH FORUM FOR WOMEN ONLY AND NOT STUPID MEN LIKE BOTHGUNSBLAZING CAUSE HE IS SO STUPID XOXOXO

Unless there was a thread there entitled "the following men are hazardous to your health, AVOID" .. wait, no, that'd just be funny. Yep, I can't see anything wrong with this idea.

I fully support the idea of women having their own forum to discuss health issues and what not. What is Dimensions if not a place where people can get together and talk about their size without an onslaught of negativity and just hearing WELL, JUST LOSE WEIGHT AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT ANYMORE.

also .. I like women lots, so therefore, them being in good health is an ace idea to me and anything that can help that along gets my approval.


----------



## BeaBea

BothGunsBlazing said:


> it's not like it'd say PRIVATE HEALTH FORUM FOR WOMEN ONLY AND NOT STUPID MEN LIKE BOTHGUNSBLAZING CAUSE HE IS SO STUPID XOXOXO


No it wouldn't because its SO not true.



BothGunsBlazing said:


> I like women lots, so therefore, them being in good health is an ace idea to me and anything that can help that along gets my approval.


See, that proves it :wubu:



exile in thighville said:


> just wondering aloud, why aren't supersized men allowed on the supersize forum? i'd assume sympathy for those issues has less to do with gender than size...i couldn't imagine a 500 lb. guy throwing stones in a glass house so to speak. i mean i guess it's already been pre-answered by "women aren't comfortable discussing their health issues in front of men," but isn't there any significant overlap in said issues across gender lines? (a guess, i don't know shit about this).



If you take away reproductive and specific anatomical issues I'm sure there probably is a big overlap. The differences are probably far more related to the way that people want to talk about them and in the kind of responses that they are hoping for. 

In my experience when they are ill Men tend to want a brief, factual 'Try Super Cure-all, works for me' response whereas Women tend to want to talk through the surrounding issues and prefer more emotional support for what they're dealing with. I appreciate that this is a terrible sexual stereotype but this really is how my friends (both RL and online) tend to deal. If you add in the feelings surrounding the 'not comfortable sharing in mixed company' feelings then separate boards for the sexes make better sense.

Tracey


----------



## AlethaBBW

exile in thighville said:


> just wondering aloud, why aren't supersized men allowed on the supersize forum? i'd assume sympathy for those issues has less to do with gender than size...i couldn't imagine a 500 lb. guy throwing stones in a glass house so to speak. i mean i guess it's already been pre-answered by "women aren't comfortable discussing their health issues in front of men," but isn't there any significant overlap in said issues across gender lines? (a guess, i don't know shit about this).



If the BHM's here feel the need for a private men's health board, I'll support them completely. My dad is a BHM and I know that there are male-specific health issues related to size, too.


----------



## kayrae

Thank you for your support.



BothGunsBlazing said:


> Okay, so, sure, why not?
> 
> A private BBW health forum? Go for it. I forget there is even an SSBBW forum for this sort of thing until it's discussed on rare occasion on the main board. It's just going to be invisible to everyone who isn't a member and yeah, even if it wasn't, it's not like it'd say PRIVATE HEALTH FORUM FOR WOMEN ONLY AND NOT STUPID MEN LIKE BOTHGUNSBLAZING CAUSE HE IS SO STUPID XOXOXO
> 
> Unless there was a thread there entitled "the following men are hazardous to your health, AVOID" .. wait, no, that'd just be funny. Yep, I can't see anything wrong with this idea.
> 
> I fully support the idea of women having their own forum to discuss health issues and what not. What is Dimensions if not a place where people can get together and talk about their size without an onslaught of negativity and just hearing WELL, JUST LOSE WEIGHT AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT ANYMORE.
> 
> also .. I like women lots, so therefore, them being in good health is an ace idea to me and anything that can help that along gets my approval.


----------



## LoveBHMS

So as it stands now, if you're over 450 pounds, you have a private board to discuss health issues. 

If you are any size and want to discuss health issues there is a health board, BUT it's not private. As far as the idea that women can't/won't discuss health issues if men can read them, I'm not so sure. I've seen threads on those boards about everything from sore breasts, to how to shave pubic hair to how to put in a tampon. There have been discussions about PCOS, excess body hair and how to deal with it, birth control options, and what the best products are to deal with thigh fat chafing. How much more private does anyone need to get than that stuff?

Supposedly, Dims grew out of a NAAFA SIG specific to FAs and was supposed to be geared towards FAs and BBW, and yet now we need a private board for FAs? WHY????? Why do we suddenly need like a zillion private boards to accomodate the very things that Dims was supposed to be about in the first place?


----------



## Tooz

LoveBHMS said:


> So as it stands now, if you're over 450 pounds, you have a private board to discuss health issues.
> 
> If you are any size and want to discuss health issues there is a health board, BUT it's not private.



I just guess us people are regarded to be less fragile or self conscious, I guess.


----------



## Cat

<sarcasm> I think we should all have our own separate, individual boards. I am an individual, and as such, I should be able to talk about things that are specific to me without potentially harming or piquing the interest of others. Thanks! </sarcasm>


----------



## Cat

<sarcasm>Actually, since I thought about it even more, we should all have our own indivdual boards offsite from Dimensions which are secret that we would share only with a select group of people who visit Dimensions. From there we could talk about other people on the Dimensions boards without them knowing.</sarcasm>

Oops, sorry, I guess that already exists. Or so I've heard.


----------



## LoveBHMS

Tooz said:


> I just guess us people are regarded to be less fragile or self conscious, I guess.



I didn't mean any offense by that, you know that, and I'm sorry if it came off that way. 

I only meant that over time I've seen females of all sizes openly discuss a huge variety of health issues on the health board and I have not seen it be a problem.

I remember the issue of SS males not being allowed on the private SS board was dicussed, and it pretty much was dead in the water not because those issues did not exist, but because it was more of a numbers game...fewer SS males on Dims and fewer males in general wanting to discuss health matters.


----------



## kayrae

Because there are those of us who ARE uncomfortable discussing these issues there. FYI, this idea was not my baby. I have gleaned from other recent discussions that other women want this. I just happen to be the one who came right out and asked everyone else.



LoveBHMS said:


> So as it stands now, if you're over 450 pounds, you have a private board to discuss health issues.
> 
> If you are any size and want to discuss health issues there is a health board, BUT it's not private. As far as the idea that women can't/won't discuss health issues if men can read them, I'm not so sure. I've seen threads on those boards about everything from sore breasts, to how to shave pubic hair to how to put in a tampon. There have been discussions about PCOS, excess body hair and how to deal with it, birth control options, and what the best products are to deal with thigh fat chafing. How much more private does anyone need to get than that stuff?


----------



## kayrae

Thanks for your sarcasm, Cat. While you may not feel that you need such a space for yourself, I have already expressed that I do. I am not the only one with this mindset. This thread is about finding other women who feel this need. If you don't need it, that's awesome! But I do.



Cat said:


> <sarcasm> I think we should all have our own separate, individual boards. I am an individual, and as such, I should be able to talk about things that are specific to me without potentially harming or piquing the interest of others. Thanks! </sarcasm>


----------



## Tooz

LoveBHMS said:


> I didn't mean any offense by that, you know that, and I'm sorry if it came off that way.
> 
> I only meant that over time I've seen females of all sizes openly discuss a huge variety of health issues on the health board and I have not seen it be a problem.
> 
> I remember the issue of SS males not being allowed on the private SS board was dicussed, and it pretty much was dead in the water not because those issues did not exist, but because it was more of a numbers game...fewer SS males on Dims and fewer males in general wanting to discuss health matters.



Nonono! I was agreeing with you. Haha (I am not in SSI, I am nowhere near 450 pounds either. )


----------



## kayrae

Furthermore, instead of furtively asking in private, I opened the discussion to everyone. See what I did there? I was open to hearing everyone's opinion on this. I specifically stated that I didn't want men in this private room, yet I haven't barred any of them from giving their two cents.


----------



## LoveBHMS

Tooz said:


> Nonono! I was agreeing with you. Haha (I am not in SSI, I am nowhere near 450 pounds either. )



Oh...got it.


----------



## Cat

In all seriousness, kayrae, if this is something you genuinely need, you may want to think about starting a blog. Blogs eventually get likeminded followers. 

I really don't feel that splintering and re-splintering the Dimensions boards is a good idea because there is no end to it. We eventually could break everything up by religion, sex, race, hair color, center finger length, dialect, etc. Eventually we will all have separate boards where we talk only to ourselves. 
I'm a strong believer in living harmoniously together -- the less self-applied labels that provide splintering, the better.


----------



## LoveBHMS

kayrae said:


> Because there are those of us who ARE uncomfortable discussing these issues there. FYI, this idea was not my baby. I have gleaned from other recent discussions that other women want this. I just happen to be the one who came right out and asked everyone else.



So basically you want a private board for the private health issues that concern BBW but BBW who are smaller than 450 pounds? As far as I know, access to the private SS forum is pretty hard to come by. You need a certain number of posts on Dims and you need to be approved by mods. How exactly would you go about determining who got access to the "Non SS but still BBW Board for Private Health Issues?"

What about new posters? Would they have to prove themselves for some amount of time?


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

Okay, in light of recent threads I've thought about this and .. 

ok ok, so, if only there was a place .. somewhere .. on the net, where FAs and BBW could have a forum .. to mingle together and be able to discuss certain topics with each other or even just be able to play games with letters, switching them around, possibly to make threads containing "nude photos" of themselves.

we could make it private.. well, you'd have to sign up for it, but otherwise .. 

I don't know if such a place exists, but that .. is where I wanna be.


----------



## kayrae

Already have a blog, Cat. My need is for input from other women with the same commonalities. Like I said, this idea was not my baby. I saw a need and I wanted to flesh out the idea. I could have a defeatist attitude and just say, fuck it... off I go somewhere else. I'm not a drama queen.

As you can see from the poll, other women also want this. It's not like I'm forcing all women to participate in this private board (which is an idea that someone else have already expressed). I am genuinely asking if other women want this. It doesn't have to be on DIMS.

As for your remark about a secret DIMS board off site, what is your problem with it? If these DIMS members feel that they needed to start something elsewhere, how is it detrimental to you? Those people felt that they needed something from DIMs that they couldn't get. Instead of whining about it, they created a solution. Perhaps this is what I want to do as well.


----------



## kayrae

What I want is the same consideration that is already being given to others (SSBBW, FFA/FAs). I opened up the discussion, because perhaps someone else already knew the answer to this. 



LoveBHMS said:


> So basically you want a private board for the private health issues that concern BBW but BBW who are smaller than 450 pounds? As far as I know, access to the private SS forum is pretty hard to come by. You need a certain number of posts on Dims and you need to be approved by mods. *How exactly would you go about determining who got access to the "Non SS but still BBW Board for Private Health Issues?"*
> 
> What about new posters? Would they have to prove themselves for some amount of time?


----------



## Cat

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Okay, in light of recent threads I've thought about this and ..
> 
> ok ok, so, if only there was a place .. somewhere .. on the net, where FAs and BBW could have a forum .. to mingle together and be able to discuss certain topics with each other or even just be able to play games with letters, switching them around, possibly to make threads containing "nude photos" of themselves.
> 
> we could make it private.. well, you'd have to sign up for it, but otherwise ..
> 
> I don't know if such a place exists, but that .. is where I wanna be.



I want to go to there.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

I'm sure nobody cares but here is my two cents.

Nothing is private on the internet. No matter how protected you think it is - it's not. I am well aware that things posted on the "private" SSBBW forum have been copied and passed around. I don't have any of them - but it's pretty well known on Dims that people pass things around - private or not.

I do not belong to the SSBBW forum for several very good reasons - some I won't mention - but one of the important ones is I am not willing to talk about things on an internet board that I do not want *outsiders* to see (lack of privacy and all).

You want to talk about delicate issues? Don't do it on a web board, even a private one. People who don't like you will find a way to get that info and spread it around. Call your best friend - it's less public that way.

JMO.


----------



## ThatFatGirl

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> *I am well aware that things posted on the "private" SSBBW forum have been copied and passed around. *I don't have any of them - but it's pretty well known on Dims that people pass things around - private or not.



If this is true, I'd like to know. How is it you are "well aware?"


----------



## ashmamma84

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I'm sure nobody cares but here is my two cents.
> 
> Nothing is private on the internet. No matter how protected you think it is - it's not. I am well aware that things posted on the "private" SSBBW forum have been copied and passed around. I don't have any of them - but it's pretty well known on Dims that people pass things around - private or not.
> 
> I do not belong to the SSBBW forum for several very good reasons - some I won't mention - but one of the important ones is I am not willing to talk about things on an internet board that I do not want *outsiders* to see (lack of privacy and all).
> 
> You want to talk about delicate issues? Don't do it on a web board, even a private one. People who don't like you will find a way to get that info and spread it around. Call your best friend - it's less public that way.
> 
> JMO.



You know, that's really messed up if what you say is true. I know one of the main reasons some ss women wanted it private/locked is because of issues with confidence in trust. It would be really sad if they were led astray.


----------



## mossystate

ThatFatGirl said:


> If this is true, I'd like to know. How is it you are "well aware?"



^^^^...this. If there is such a thing happening, then I would hope the proper people are contacted. While there ARE privacy issues on Dims, I have not heard that anything from the SSBBW board has been...' shared '.


----------



## Carrie

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Nothing is private on the internet. No matter how protected you think it is - it's not. I am well aware that things posted on the "private" SSBBW forum have been copied and passed around. I don't have any of them - but it's pretty well known on Dims that people pass things around - private or not.





ThatFatGirl said:


> If this is true, I'd like to know. How is it you are "well aware?"





ashmamma84 said:


> You know, that's really messed up if what you say is true. I know one of the main reasons some ss women wanted it private/locked is because of issues with confidence in trust. It would be really sad if they were led astray.


I've never heard even a whisper of something like this happening. 

Sandie, if you feel that's actually happened, you should go straight to Conrad and report it, so the offender can be dealt with accordingly. I'll be honest, though, I seriously doubt it happened - which is _not_ to say that you're lying (of course!), but that perhaps you're mistaken. If you're not mistaken and it happened, the offender needs to be ousted from that forum immediately.


----------



## kayrae

While my best friend is fat, she's uncomfortable with her fat body and doesn't want to talk about it. My health issues are fat-related. This is a website that's dealing with fat issues. Simply put, I cannot control the actions of others so if anything I did write in a private forum is leaked, well... then it's a violation of my trust. However, my issue with needing privacy is to also discuss my fat-related health issues without feeling like it will be used for wank fodder. There's an ick factor to it that will shut me up pretty quickly. Also, if this trust is violated by someone else who's already a part of that board, the information is still limited to a few people.

There are a shitload of lurkers in DIMS. Some of them are trolls. Some of them are only here to fap. I want to exclude them. It doesn't mean that they won't find a way to get into the board, but it still means that a barrier has been created to keep them out.

I'm not new to the Internet and to the concept that nothing is really a secret here. I saw a need that is already being met (SSBBW private board) and wanted to duplicate that idea. I am not asking to gain access to that board because the members there do not feel comfortable discussing their issues with me, which I can respect.

Like I've already said, I am asking if other women feel the need for a "private" space like this.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

ThatFatGirl said:


> If this is true, I'd like to know. How is it you are "well aware?"



Because I received one of those e-mails from a friend who was horrified because she belongs to the SSBBW forum. It was a while ago BUT I have no intention of being a part of the SSBBW forum or any other private forum for that main reason.

I have no idea if this still goes on - I have not gotten any more e-mails like that BUT I could just be out of the loop. No I do not have the email - and NO I do not remember who was passing it around. I deleted it and forgot about it until now.

There is no privacy on the internet. I have had private emails passed around here, and I just don't communicate much with people here - I don't feel safe enough to do that except with a few good people.

That's life I guess.

PLEASE don't make this a huge issue -I was just making a point about privacy.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

OK first off - I'm not a liar - it happened a while ago - I have not seen one since. 

But once again - believe what you want about me - you do anyway.


----------



## Carrie

kayrae said:


> While my best friend is fat, she's uncomfortable with her fat body and doesn't want to talk about it. My health issues are fat-related. This is a website that's dealing with fat issues. Simply put, I cannot control the actions of others so if anything I did write in a private forum is leaked, well... then it's a violation of my trust. However, my issue with needing privacy is to also discuss my fat-related health issues without feeling like it will be used for wank fodder. There's an ick factor to it that will shut me up pretty quickly. Also, if this trust is violated by someone else who's already a part of that board, the information is still limited to a few people.
> 
> There are a shitload of lurkers in DIMS. Some of them are trolls. Some of them are only here to fap. I want to exclude them. It doesn't mean that they won't find a way to get into the board, but it still means that a barrier has been created to keep them out.
> 
> I'm not new to the Internet and to the concept that nothing is really a secret here. I saw a need that is already being met (SSBBW private board) and wanted to duplicate that idea. I am not asking to gain access to that board because the members there do not feel comfortable discussing their issues with me, which I can respect.
> 
> Like I've already said, I am asking if other women feel the need for a "private" space like this.


I've been struggling to come up with the right words to express why I support a private bbw forum. Since I've failed thus far, I'm just going to glom onto yours here, kayrae D), because they express the need for it very well. 

The thing is, issues and challenges that are weight-related don't start at 350 lbs. The ssbbw forum fills a very important need here at Dims, and because it has been such a great source of support for me, I feel very strongly that a similar space is needed for smaller women, as well. Simply put, there are parts of myself that I just don't want to share with the world. Some things are so difficult, so intense, so sad, so _whatever_, that I only want to share them with other people who have been through it. Maybe I want empathy. Maybe I don't want to be judged by people who just don't get it. Maybe I also loathe the thought of anonymous lurkers getting off on my struggles. Whatever the reason, the need exists, and it didn't just start when I hit 350 lbs. many years ago. 

As far as segmenting Dims further goes, I don't know. I see boards like the BHM/FFA board, which is a thriving, tight-knit group, and sometimes I wish the folks who only seem to post there posted all over. Would be nice, but on the other hand, who knows? Maybe without the BHM/FFA board to call home, they wouldn't post at all. An FA board and a BBW board could provide the shyer among us a safe place to kind of dip their toes in before diving into the huge community Dims has become. 

I really hope this pans out for the smaller fatties among us. I think it would be a good thing.


----------



## Cat

Early on, the privacy on the SS-board wasn't secure. Several non-supersize individuals commented on being able to see the board. Maybe the breach happened then?


----------



## SamanthaNY

It's just not acceptable to announce this giant breach of privacy, security and confidence... and then tell people not to make it an issue. Of _course _it's an issue. As it should be. 

That's like saying "Barb, where'd you get that blouse? Oh - and do you know your arm's fallen off?" [Barb shreaks]... "Barb, please... I want to talk about your blouse". 

C'mon. It's not even logical.


----------



## Carrie

Sandie, I hope you will urge your friend to report the incident herself, in that case.


----------



## mossystate

Carrie said:


> Sandie, I hope you will urge your friend to report the incident herself, in that case.



I would add that it go directly to Conrad. That sort of thing is a huge deal.


----------



## Carrie

Cat said:


> Early on, the privacy on the SS-board wasn't secure. Several non-supersize individuals commented on being able to see the board. Maybe the breach happened then?


Maybe while we were still working out the secret handshake? 

I told you the hand jive portion was just extraneous showboating.


----------



## Cat

hehehe, Carrie, maybe that was it.

Actually, early on, if a user went to "Control Panel" and clicked on "Memberships" one could join the SuperSize board without any further prompting. This problem was brought to my attention in January of last year. It's been locked down since that point and memberships are now only allowed through the secret handshake.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

double post


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

SamanthaNY said:


> It's just not acceptable to announce this giant breach of privacy, security and confidence... and then tell people not to make it an issue. Of _course _it's an issue. As it should be.
> 
> That's like saying "Barb, where'd you get that blouse? Oh - and do you know your arm's fallen off?" [Barb shreaks]... "Barb, please... I want to talk about your blouse".
> 
> C'mon. It's not even logical.




NO - it doesn't have to be an issue IF it hasn't happened since. If other people say it happened - then it's an issue. 

At the beginning of the Club house things were forwarded from there too. As far as I know it has not happened since - so it's not an issue.


----------



## SamanthaNY

Cat said:


> Actually, early on, if a user went to "Control Panel" and clicked on "Memberships" one could join the SuperSize board without any further prompting. This problem was brought to my attention in January of last year. It's been locked down since that point and memberships are now only allowed through the secret handshake.


I was never aware of that loophole, so hopefully it wasn't known to very many, and was accessed by fewer still. I feel really bad for anyone that might feel uncomfortable or uneasy now that the rumor of a leak has been posted publicly. The fact that it (for now?) appears untraceable just adds to the suckage.


Sandie_Zitkus said:


> NO - it doesn't have to be an issue IF it hasn't happened since. If other people say it happened - then it's an issue.
> At the beginning of the Club house things were forwarded from there too. As far as I know it has not happened since - so it's not an issue.


Once something is announced or alleged - you (general use) can't really tell people how to feel about it. If they feel it's an issue, then it's an issue - for them. I can understand if you didn't mean this to alarm anyone, but can you really be surprised if people took notice of it?


----------



## BeaBea

SamanthaNY said:


> I feel really bad for anyone that might feel uncomfortable or uneasy now that the rumor of a leak has been posted publicly.


I'm a member of that board and I feel very uncomfortable and uneasy - and also pretty annoyed too.



Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I received one of those e-mails from a friend who was horrified because she belongs to the SSBBW forum.


Sandie forgive me, but from that it sounds like even if YOU dont know who the email originated from then your friend (who is a member) does - and whatever breach of confidence happened it was compounded by her sending it on to you.



Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I have no idea if this still goes on - I have not gotten any more e-mails like that BUT I could just be out of the loop.


Not reassuring!



Sandie_Zitkus said:


> PLEASE don't make this a huge issue -I was just making a point about privacy.


It is a huge issue - and illustrating your point about privacy with such a bombshell and then complaining about the reaction seems a bit disingenuous to me. Of course people are going to react and very strongly too. Personally I'm cool that there may have been issues with setting the board up, mistakes happen, we're all human etc etc and I'm COMPLETELY confident that as soon as the Mods/Conrad were made aware they did everything they could to resolve it. What I'm not happy with is that this breach of confidence was apparently knowingly forwarded on by an SS Board member to a non member and secondly, that I find out about this via a casual throw away comment.

Rumours like this are so dangerous. I hope an explanation - or more hopefully a complete denial - can be found, and quickly.

Tracey


----------



## FaxMachine1234

Cat said:


> In all seriousness, kayrae, if this is something you genuinely need, you may want to think about starting a blog. Blogs eventually get likeminded followers.
> 
> I really don't feel that splintering and re-splintering the Dimensions boards is a good idea because there is no end to it. We eventually could break everything up by religion, sex, race, hair color, center finger length, dialect, etc. Eventually we will all have separate boards where we talk only to ourselves.
> I'm a strong believer in living harmoniously together -- the less self-applied labels that provide splintering, the better.



Well, considering we all already apply labels to ourselves at this place ("hi, i'm an FA"/"FFA"/"BBW"/"BHM"/"GLBTQ"), I fail to see how we can't acknowledge those differences by having boards to discuss these specific aspects of our lives while still living under the Dimensions auspices (since I bet it's not in the site's best interest to have people leave the site in order to do so). Y'know, it'd be one thing if we were only now one board and someone wanted to create spin-offs at this late day, but as of today there's THIRTY-SIX different boards already, including one just for Chat (which seems vaguely redundant). It seems bizarre for everybody to be putting their foot down for numbers 37 & 38, especially seems they seem a lot more connected to the core idea of this website then most of the ones that already exist.


----------



## SparklingBBW

LoveBHMS said:


> So basically you want a private board for the private health issues that concern BBW but BBW who are smaller than 450 pounds? As far as I know, access to the private SS forum is pretty hard to come by. You need a certain number of posts on Dims and you need to be approved by mods. How exactly would you go about determining who got access to the "Non SS but still BBW Board for Private Health Issues?"
> 
> What about new posters? Would they have to prove themselves for some amount of time?


.

New posters would have to prove they have CANKLES. 


.


----------



## AnnMarie

Cat said:


> <sarcasm>Actually, since I thought about it even more, we should all have our own indivdual boards offsite from Dimensions which are secret that we would share only with a select group of people who visit Dimensions. From there we could talk about other people on the Dimensions boards without them knowing.</sarcasm>
> 
> Oops, sorry, I guess that already exists. Or so I've heard.



hahahahah, true enough.


----------



## Carrie

AnnMarie said:


> hahahahah, true enough.


Bleah. Does a board like that actually exist?


----------



## AnnMarie

Carrie said:


> Bleah. Does a board like that actually exist?



I don't know... it's the stuff of unicorns and leprechauns. 


(major kudos to me for spelling that right on the first attempt)


----------



## Observer

Actually it sort of does, but I'll not risk blowing my secret identity there by supplying a link.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

Look I said what I wanted to say. I meant what I said - nothing more nothing less. If any of you want to create any more drama - be my guest. I have nothing more to say.


----------



## Tina

Cat said:


> I really don't feel that splintering and re-splintering the Dimensions boards is a good idea because there is no end to it. We eventually could break everything up by religion, sex, race, hair color, center finger length, dialect, etc. Eventually we will all have separate boards where we talk only to ourselves.


See, this is like the argument that if you let gays marry, pretty soon people will be wanting to marry farm animals. It's a ridiculous path you're going down, just as the argument against gay marriage is ridiculous (not wanting to divert with the analogy - if anyone has anything political to say about the subject, please go to HP). From what it looks like, the only boards mentioned are an FA board and a BBW board. BHMs have not, from what I can tell, voiced a need or desire for a private board.

Who knows if Conrad would create a private BBW board or not? But it certainly doesn't hurt for those who feel the need and desire for one to talk about it.


----------



## Sandie S-R

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I'm sure nobody cares but here is my two cents.
> 
> Nothing is private on the internet. No matter how protected you think it is - it's not. I am well aware that things posted on the "private" SSBBW forum have been copied and passed around. I don't have any of them - but it's pretty well known on Dims that people pass things around - private or not.
> 
> I do not belong to the SSBBW forum for several very good reasons - some I won't mention - but one of the important ones is I am not willing to talk about things on an internet board that I do not want *outsiders* to see (lack of privacy and all).
> 
> You want to talk about delicate issues? Don't do it on a web board, even a private one. People who don't like you will find a way to get that info and spread it around. Call your best friend - it's less public that way.
> 
> JMO.





Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Because I received one of those e-mails from a friend who was horrified because she belongs to the SSBBW forum. It was a while ago BUT I have no intention of being a part of the SSBBW forum or any other private forum for that main reason.
> 
> I have no idea if this still goes on - I have not gotten any more e-mails like that BUT I could just be out of the loop. No I do not have the email - and NO I do not remember who was passing it around. I deleted it and forgot about it until now.
> 
> There is no privacy on the internet. I have had private emails passed around here, and I just don't communicate much with people here - I don't feel safe enough to do that except with a few good people.
> 
> That's life I guess.
> 
> PLEASE don't make this a huge issue -I was just making a point about privacy.




*Sandie,

You cannot drop a stink bomb like this and expect people not to react or respond. 

The moderators here take this kind of thing seriously. Unsubstantiated allegations like this will just not be tolerated. If you have any information that validates your claim, you need to forward it immediately to one of the mods or Conrad. Otherwise we will consider this to have been an error or mistake by you or your friend. 

In the future if such a situation is suspected by any anyone, please report it thru the proper channels, ie., any moderator or Conrad. 

Rumors and innuendos are of no value.

/Moderator *


----------



## Sandie S-R

Thread is now reopened - please keep it on topic. 


/Mod


----------



## AshleyEileen

Can't we just have a private bbw health board?


----------



## kayrae

Hi AshleyEileen 

Based on the poll, rep, and from talking to women on AIM, I'm getting the general sense that a private women's health board is a more appropriate request. There are FFAs who are also interested in joining such a forum. 

Tomorrow I'll answer more of the questions that were raised earlier.


----------



## lipmixgirl

this time i must agree with Sandie S-R. 

i believe that it makes the most sense to add a subforum on the health board for women only. additionally, to be fair and equitable, there should also be a subforum for men only... 

as long as there are moderators available to moderate and screen applicants of said forums, i feel that it would be a valuable addition.

simply put - a fat body requires different standards of care than a thin body. 
(for evidence of this, please feel free to reference my thread in the health forum "comfort tricks of the fat girl/boy trade" 
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7437) 

there is much to be said for having the ability to discuss health/body issues in a private space...

the big apple has spoken...
::exeunt:: :bow:


----------



## superodalisque

Sandie S-R said:


> In response to this comment : " i know for a fact that smaller BBWs get treated differently. a lot of them get insulted by FAs and SSBBWs. they have many reasons why they feel they can't say what they may need to in the public forum. "
> 
> If smaller BBWs had their own private forum they would not be able to say things against FAs and SSBBWs, in the same manner that in the SSBBW forum they are not allowed to say things against others not in their forum, and same applies to folks in the clubhouse, etc.
> 
> One of the rules about private forums here at Dimensions is that you (general you) are not allowed to discuss someone that is not a member of that forum, because they are not there to defend themselves. The private forums are not a place to blow off steam about things or people that bother you in other parts of Dimensions. It is an important distinction to make.



yes but it can be a place to say stuff that other people might take as insulting. they could discuss the idea of perhaps not wanting to get beyond a certain size that isn't comfortable for them without seeming callus. but thats a lot different from gossiping and being just plain nasty and trying to demean another member of dims who isn't allowed in the board. sometimes someone else's truth may hurt someone's feelings inadvertantly. thats what makes a smaller BBWs only board a valid idea. 

i do think there should be safe place to talk about your challenges and how if you get treated a certain way it impacts you emotionally. just because people talk about thier challenges it doesn't mean its a finger pointing expedition. it can and is done on other boards as a more of "how can i handle this" kind of thing. i know, and will never believe that smaller BBWs spend all of their time talking about SSBBWs negatively behind their backs. they are just trying to get love like everyone else. but like any other group here they have differences and should have the right like everyone else to have a seperate place to freely discuss them if they want one. 

the only thing that bothers me so far about this thread is that most of the people who are trying to mediate what happens don't even fall into that class. i think they (smaller BBWs) should be the ones to decide of they want a board or not just as the poll asks, and what kind it should be if any. other people shouldn't be worrying about what might or might not be said in there. we all know that this site is skewed toward the bigger women in many aspects. most of the interest here is about being big or getting bigger. this is a prime reason why smaller BBWs really have a reason to have their own board where they can be heard when a question is asked of them.


----------



## missy_blue_eyez

AshleyEileen said:


> I had no idea there were private boards.
> 
> Also, I'm sure this would open the debate up as to when BBW becomes SSBBW.


I also had no idea there were private boards?!


----------



## superodalisque

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Look I said what I wanted to say. I meant what I said - nothing more nothing less. If any of you want to create any more drama - be my guest. I have nothing more to say.




i appreciate that you said what you needed to say. if people don't want to hear you its on them. you were just adding some more info to the thing.


----------



## superodalisque

Sandie S-R said:


> *Sandie,
> 
> You cannot drop a stink bomb like this and expect people not to react or respond.
> 
> The moderators here take this kind of thing seriously. Unsubstantiated allegations like this will just not be tolerated. If you have any information that validates your claim, you need to forward it immediately to one of the mods or Conrad. Otherwise we will consider this to have been an error or mistake by you or your friend.
> 
> In the future if such a situation is suspected by any anyone, please report it thru the proper channels, ie., any moderator or Conrad.
> 
> Rumors and innuendos are of no value.
> 
> 
> /Moderator *




she can and she did and i think dimsfolk are smart enough to take it for what its worth and evaluate it for themselves

i agree that you have to ask for things like that to be reported but some things just won't be. at least she said what she felt she could now.


----------



## Surlysomething

Hasn't this thread been around long enough?


----------



## SamanthaNY

superodalisque said:


> i appreciate that you said what you needed to say. if people don't want to hear you its on them. you were just adding some more info to the thing.



No. What she was adding is vague, third-hand information about an awful breach of privacy. A breach that affected quite a few women here, and one that is against the rules here at Dim. As if that isn't bad enough, the breach is untraceable, even though Sandie's friend is also one that furthered the breach and shared private information with someone (Sandie) _outside _a members-only board. But I'm sure her name hasn't been shared (nor is the person that she said *she* got the email from), so the board members are left to wonder who the leak are and who they aren't. 

The 'value' of it is that it spreads fear and discomfort, while offering no way for those at the center of it to resolve the problem. It should *never* have been made public, and should have been reported to the mods when the first email had been received. 

I can't believe you'd condone actions like this, especially after a moderator has said it shouldn't happen. I'm not a member of that board, but I feel for the ones that are - and this whole situation is completely fucked up.


----------



## superodalisque

SamanthaNY said:


> No. What she was adding is vague, third-hand information about an awful breach of privacy. A breach that affected quite a few women here, and one that is against the rules here at Dim. As if that isn't bad enough, the breach is untraceable, even though Sandie's friend is also one that furthered the breach and shared private information with someone (Sandie) _outside _a members-only board. But I'm sure her name hasn't been shared (nor is the person that she said *she* got the email from), so the board members are left to wonder who the leak are and who they aren't.
> 
> The 'value' of it is that it spreads fear and discomfort, while offering no way for those at the center of it to resolve the problem. It should *never* have been made public, and should have been reported to the mods when the first email had been received.
> 
> I can't believe you'd condone actions like this, especially after a moderator has said it shouldn't happen. I'm not a member of that board, but I feel for the ones that are - and this whole situation is completely fucked up.



for me this isn't about condoning or condeming anything. i'm not swinging a power club. its about listening and hearing. this is a thread about opinions and why you have em. its not the CIA. the mods are the ones who know what to do and decide what to do. 

i'm just tired of everything being made into a big played out drama everytime someone says something. especially if it happen to be someone whose opinions ar often disagreed with.

crap like canklegate etc... is a prime example why sometimes there should be a separate board. maybe if people had a place they could discuss things with some honesty it wouldn't have gotten all personal negative and dramatic in the first place. when people are constricting other people from thier opinions it just gets turned into resentment hatefulness and it goes underground.


----------



## BeaBea

superodalisque said:


> at least she said what she felt she could now.



Oh great, that statement implies that we should expect yet more of this two faced crap to be strirred up. I think Sandie SR already said that "Rumors and innuendos are of no value" so please let this poisonous rubbish lie.

Tracey


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I don't see how a "health only" board will help newer insecure women that join this site. It needs to have more options than physical health only.


----------



## mossystate

^^^^^^....this. We HAVE to get away from primarily addressing the body. Women are not shells...candy coated...or not.


----------



## SamanthaNY

superodalisque said:


> when people are constricting other people from thier opinions it just gets turned into resentment hatefulness and it goes underground.



Dropping bombshells that affect people, but that they can do NOTHING about because they're given (purposely?) *so* little information (can't get more dramatic there)... that breeds resentment and hate too. It's NOT giving an opinion, it's metering out vital information ONLY so that people get upset - never so they can act upon it and fix it. Add a little suspicion and distrust and it makes for stirring quite a pot of shit. All while the bomb-dropper sits back and watches. And you blame the people it's directed at - the ones left with no other option but to react. Amazing. 

If you wanna call it 'restricting' when that kind of bullshit (sorry, 'honesty') is stopped short... then that's your choice. I call it protecting this community and being fair. No one should be subjected to that manipulative bomb-dropping. Ever. Information, if there is any, should be reported privately to the mods as soon as anyone discovers a problem.


----------



## GoldenDelicious

Back to the original question. I have to say I am surprised by it because I thought the whole of Dimensions was for Fa's and BBW's, I see no need for other separate boards other than the new LGBTQ as it is a space for LGBT's to discuss issues that some non LGBT folks wouldn't be interested in (besides which heterosexuals are still welcome to post there) it was not developed for the purpose of segregating or forming a new clique however necessary to have a safe space to discuss LGBT issues. I have no issue with new boards but I do think we have plenty to post in already


----------



## FaxMachine1234

GoldenDelicious said:


> Back to the original question. I have to say I am surprised by it because I thought the whole of Dimensions was for Fa's and BBW's, I see no need for other separate boards other than the new LGBTQ as it is a space for LGBT's to discuss issues that some non LGBT folks wouldn't be interested in (besides which heterosexuals are still welcome to post there) it was not developed for the purpose of segregating or forming a new clique however necessary to have a safe space to discuss LGBT issues. I have no issue with new boards but I do think we have plenty to post in already



Speaking of the LGBT board, how'd that breeze through while these other new boards are getting held up with all this debate? They all seem equally legitimate.

EDIT: Also, what about the current Health board? Would the only topics in there if this goes through is about our thinner posters' general problems? Seems a tad redundant.


----------



## Friday

Unless proof of such accusations is offered at the time they are made, it becomes rather obvious that said accusations are made to gain attention. Crying WOLF! is an old and pathetic tactic.

I didn't see anywhere that the requested health board was to be physical health only and can't even imagine how you would separate the physical from the mental portions of our health.


----------



## butch

Ekim said:


> Speaking of the LGBT board, how'd that breeze through while these other new boards are getting held up with all this debate? They all seem equally legitimate.
> 
> EDIT: Also, what about the current Health board? Would the only topics in there if this goes through is about our thinner posters' general problems? Seems a tad redundant.



Hmm, sour grapes, perhaps? I'd suggest one possible reason the queer board 'breezed through' is because it doesn't restructure the entire core premise of Dimensions as a site for FAs and BBWs. These newer board suggestions imply that the foundation of Dimensions might need to change in a fundamental way, and thus they shouldn't be taken lightly. Also, there was no major disagreements about the GLBTQ board when mergirl and george83 started a thread asking for a forum. When there isn't a significant outcry about the scope and purpose of the board when a new forum is proposed, its possible creation takes less time and is much smoother.

I wonder if people complained so much about the start of the BHM/FFA board? 

Disclaimer-I say this as a member of the boards, and not as a moderator or as someone with an 'official' voice to make claims about the implementation of the GLBTQ forum.


----------



## bexy

There really was no place for GLBTQ issues to really fit in on Dims before the creation of the board.
I didn't really want it for fear of it causing segregation, I wanted people of all walks of life to feel free to post all over Dims. 
Now it is here I see how important it really is and am happy it is here and I am happy to use it. 
I don't like the idea of it causing a "well if they got one, we want one" situation though


----------



## kayrae

Just a quick interjection: the GLBTQ board's existence is not in question here. And quite frankly, it really has nothing to do with the current discussions about the FA/FFA board as well as the BBW board. 

I started the poll about the FA/FFA board because the current "closeted FA" and the "ambivalent [un]closeted FA" threads kept mentioning the need for that board. That's when James piped up saying that he actually created a proposal for that already. There has been a lot of anger and confusion among women regarding that issue, and from what I've gleaned from there is that some women feel that they would also want their own space.

You've really gotta read those threads to understand why I've even mentioned creating a BBW board, which seemed to be what some women wanted. From my personal perspective, I didn't really see the need for such a space unless the topics were about health issues and if the board was private. I personalized this discussion with my own needs. But quite frankly, I opened up the discussion to everyone to see if this is what other women also wanted. I created all the different options because I wanted to know exactly what others want. 

It is not my intention to have a quick fix here. And as Butch already mentioned, this is a huge undertaking and really is asking a fundamental change in DIMs.


----------



## Miss Vickie

kayrae said:


> There are a shitload of lurkers in DIMS. Some of them are trolls. Some of them are only here to fap. I want to exclude them. It doesn't mean that they won't find a way to get into the board, but it still means that a barrier has been created to keep them out.



Yup. That's my concern as well, the lurkers. 



> Like I've already said, I am asking if other women feel the need for a "private" space like this.



Sounds to me like the answers is a resounding "yes!"

I'd like to add something in response to a question posed earlier. Forgive me if I'm not clear but I got back from a vacation/school trip late last night so I'm more than a little fried. But anyway, in terms of what would happen to the Health Board, this is a reasonable question. As someone who posts pretty regularly to it, and who begged for it to be created for years, obviously I don't want it to go the way of the dodo. But I think that there are enough non-intimate questions to be discussed there that it shouldn't be gutted by the creation of a private space. Most of us don't mind talking about our blood pressure, diabetes, etc etc etc in public. It's the more private issues, the potentially embarrassing ones, that we want to discuss in private.

That's what I think, anyway.


----------



## FaxMachine1234

butch said:


> Hmm, sour grapes, perhaps? I'd suggest one possible reason the queer board 'breezed through' is because it doesn't restructure the entire core premise of Dimensions as a site for FAs and BBWs. These newer board suggestions imply that the foundation of Dimensions might need to change in a fundamental way, and thus they shouldn't be taken lightly. Also, there was no major disagreements about the GLBTQ board when mergirl and george83 started a thread asking for a forum. When there isn't a significant outcry about the scope and purpose of the board when a new forum is proposed, its possible creation takes less time and is much smoother.
> 
> I wonder if people complained so much about the start of the BHM/FFA board?



How do either an FA board or a private BBW board change the premise of the site? They're supposed to deal with specific issues that can't be addressed elsewhere, like the GLBTQ, but the original board will always remain intact, as far as I know. It's not "sour grapes"; I just honestly don't understand why there's such resistance.


----------



## tonynyc

Ekim said:


> I just honestly don't understand why there's such resistance.



It's just "Having one's cake eating it too"


----------



## kayrae

Could you please clarify that, tony? I'm not making a connection here.


----------



## butch

kayrae said:


> Could you please clarify that, tony? I'm not making a connection here.



I think tony is referring to the discussion Ekim and I are having about the difference between the GLBTQ forum's genesis and the proposed (F)FA and BBW boards. Not wanting to derail the thread, I will bow out of further discussion of why there are huge differences between the GLBTQ forum and other proposed forums. Of course, I then do the exact opposite and point out that one other reason for the delay in these proposed boards may be because of the decision to make them private. This seems more problematic to me than the proposal of an open board that is welcoming to all, which the GLBTQ forum is.


----------



## FreeThinker

Not all of us are hoping for a private FA/FFA board.

As outlined in this post, I think an open board would be the way to go. Some agree with this view, some do not.

Anyone wanting to reply the post in the link provided please feel free to do so in the relevant thread, and leave this one to the discussion of the BBW board.

...unlike I just did with this post. :doh: Sorry for the hijack. Just wanted to clear up the misconception that all those lobbying for a FA/FFA board wanted a private forum.


Now, if you'll pardon me, I'll just back out and let you return to the topic at hand.


Apologies. :bow:


----------



## kayrae

No, no, no... it's good for you to clarify. It's really up to Conrad anyway. And if anyone followed that thread, you would know that the privacy of the FA board is something that Conrad was deliberating on: 

Conrad 1
Conrad 2
Conrad 3

And I introduced privacy in this specific thread because that's what *I* wanted. It's the only thing I personally thought I would need. I am satisfied with how the DIMS board is already functioning.


----------



## NoWayOut

I personally don't like the idea of private boards, although I recognize it's not my choice. If it were, I'd be on that board because I'd be interested in reading about issues BBWs and SSBBWs face and trying to figure out how to be sensitive to those issues for a relationship I hope to be in. 

That said, I can understand the desire for comments from only people who face the same issues. I'd love a read-only membership on a board like that if that were possible, but again, I can understand not wanting to make those comments public beyond those board members.

I prefer large women, but I also recognize that it isn't my choice, and I know I wouldn't be saying a BBW is hot if she made it clear that isn't what she wants to hear because she's unhappy with her size. But then again, I also recognize that not everyone is like that, so I've essentially just typed three paragraphs of nothing.


----------



## mossystate

There are many places on Dims where you can tell a woman she is...hot. This proves so many points made.:doh:


----------



## Tina

NoWayOut said:


> I prefer large women, but I also recognize that it isn't my choice, and I know I wouldn't be saying a BBW is hot if she made it clear that isn't what she wants to hear because she's unhappy with her size.


Just to clarify: a woman may not want to hear that at a particularly time for many other reasons than that she is not happy with her size. Do not assume that just because she's not open to hearing it every where at any time that she has a poor self-image.


----------



## NoWayOut

Tina said:


> Just to clarify: a woman may not want to hear that at a particularly time for many other reasons than that she is not happy with her size. Do not assume that just because she's not open to hearing it every where at any time that she has a poor self-image.



True. Just went with the most obvious one to save time. I should have said "I know I wouldn't be saying a BBW is hot if she made it clear that isn't what she wants to hear for any reason."


----------



## kayrae

GEF, what do you suggest? I've been trying to think of a solution on how to be open to newbies who have physical/mental health issues, but still be able to keep some semblance of privacy. I guess I'm trying to figure out what hoops one must go through to get into the SSBBW board, and how we could replicate that here. (Not that I necessarily want that information posted here, because then trolls could get into the SSBBW board).

I'm also trying to figure out what's reasonable. An option that I've heard is creating a sub-board to the health board for women's only. That would block people who don't register to DIMs. But what would be the point of that? Lots of lurkers here. It hardly even matters if you're registered or not.





Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I don't see how a "health only" board will help newer insecure women that join this site. It needs to have more options than physical health only.


----------



## Sandie S-R

kayrae said:


> GEF, what do you suggest? I've been trying to think of a solution on how to be open to newbies who have physical/mental health issues, but still be able to keep some semblance of privacy. I guess I'm trying to figure out what hoops one must go through to get into the SSBBW board, and how we could replicate that here. (Not that I necessarily want that information posted here, because then trolls could get into the SSBBW board).
> 
> I'm also trying to figure out what's reasonable. An option that I've heard is creating a sub-board to the health board for women's only. That would block people who don't register to DIMs. But what would be the point of that? Lots of lurkers here. It hardly even matters if you're registered or not.



Kayrae,

The obvious reason that you would be attempting to have a private forum for women, would be to create a place of trust where people can feel OK to open up and discuss the things that they would not discuss publicly. 

Establishing trust doesn't just happen over night. And it won't happen if you are trying to be open to newbies and just anyone who registers. Your posters in the private forum are going to want as much assurance as is reasonably possible that someone won't violate their trust (and confidentiality) and talk about the private matters discussed privately, in the public forum (or even outside the public forum). 

One of the ways to help establish that kind of trust is to only accept members to that forum after they have been posting here at Dimensions for a certain time period. Maybe you would want to say that they would have to have been registered her for over 6 months or have "XXX" number of posts. That way, they would be a known entity (to whatever degree that is possible). Also if this is a women only board, this would also be a help to be sure that the person seeking membership is not a man. 

Hope that gives you a little direction.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

I just saw this and I had to respond. I don't give a damn what you or anyone else says or thinks about what I posted here Sandie. The FACT is that posts people thought were private were taken and passed around. It has not happened (that I know of) again and it was a while ago. But you know what - it happened. BFD. I've had private messages passed around here on these boards, so now I am very careful who I send messages to.

Don't suggest I'm a liar because I may be lots of things but a liar - not in a million years. So, yeah it happened. I don't remember who did it or whos post it was, I don't care at this point. So if you want to be the drama queen here Sandie - go for it.

Sometimes the truth hurts. Nothing is private on the internet - not even here. Even you Mods have posted that you cannot keep up with all the posts here. I don't give a damn about your stink bomb crack because that is the way you handle things around here. It's not OK for posters to insult each other, but it sure seems OK for you to do it. 

I'm so sick of the school yard mentality here - from adults. 




Sandie S-R said:


> *Sandie,
> 
> You cannot drop a stink bomb like this and expect people not to react or respond.
> 
> The moderators here take this kind of thing seriously. Unsubstantiated allegations like this will just not be tolerated. If you have any information that validates your claim, you need to forward it immediately to one of the mods or Conrad. Otherwise we will consider this to have been an error or mistake by you or your friend.
> 
> In the future if such a situation is suspected by any anyone, please report it thru the proper channels, ie., any moderator or Conrad.
> 
> Rumors and innuendos are of no value.
> 
> /Moderator *


----------



## FaxMachine1234

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I'm so sick of the school yard mentality here - from adults.



Um, isn't tattling pretty "school yard", too? Not to judge...


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I just saw this and I had to respond. I don't give a damn what you or anyone else says or thinks about what I posted here Sandie. The FACT is that posts people thought were private were taken and passed around. It has not happened (that I know of) again and it was a while ago. But you know what - it happened. BFD. I've had private messages passed around here on these boards, so now I am very careful who I send messages to.
> 
> Don't suggest I'm a liar because I may be lots of things but a liar - not in a million years. So, yeah it happened. I don't remember who did it or whos post it was, I don't care at this point. So if you want to be the drama queen here Sandie - go for it.
> 
> Sometimes the truth hurts. Nothing is private on the internet - not even here. Even you Mods have posted that you cannot keep up with all the posts here. I don't give a damn about your stink bomb crack because that is the way you handle things around here. It's not OK for posters to insult each other, but it sure seems OK for you to do it.
> 
> I'm so sick of the school yard mentality here - from adults.



So, private Sandie Zitkus forum?

yay or nay?

YAY! Go not give a shit about people elsewhere. It's what you do best.


----------



## BeaBea

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Don't suggest I'm a liar because I may be lots of things but a liar - not in a million years. So, yeah it happened. I don't remember who did it or whos post it was, I don't care at this point.



If Sandie SR wont call you a liar then I will. 

Provide some proof to the Mods to back up what you keep claiming and let them handle it appropriately and I'll apologise. Otherwise, shut the fuck up. 

Tracey


----------



## NancyGirl74

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I'm so sick of the school yard mentality here - from adults.





Ekim said:


> Um, isn't tattling pretty "school yard", too? Not to judge...



This is what I tell my preschoolers when it comes to tattling...It's not tattling if you are telling because the other person is hurting you or someone else, in danger, or putting others in danger. It IS tattling when you are trying to get the other person in trouble or are looking for attention. 

I don't think Sandie Z is trying to get her friend in trouble otherwise she would have forked over the info to the mods. I do think she's trying to put out a fair warning to others that "Private" is not always so private. An innocent "I mentioned this on the SSBBW Board" to one nonmember friend could have gone from that friend to yet a not-so-friendly friend and then you have beginnings of snark-fest 2009. I really hope it was something as innocent as a misplaced comment and not something malicious.

Still, I would request that Sandie remind her "friend" that karma is a bitch and if she's blabbing someone else's private stuff she better make sure her closet is pristine. 

Anyhoo, as for the topic at hand...Personally I don't think we need any more private forums because it seems to create a "They get to be in the club and I'm not *pout*" mentality. The very last thing Dims needs is more ways of dividing what should be a community because you can't commune with someone if they are locked away in a private room.


----------



## Weeze

Oh.

BURN.


----------



## SamanthaNY

krismiss said:


> Oh.
> 
> BURN.



You mean this &#8595;?



BeaBea said:


> If Sandie SR wont call you a liar then I will.
> 
> Provide some proof to the Mods to back up what you keep claiming and let them handle it appropriately and I'll apologise. Otherwise, shut the fuck up.
> 
> Tracey


----------



## mergirl

SamanthaNY said:


> You mean this &#8595;?


Repped. Cause i'm inpressed by swearing n that. 
I was going to say, What about people who are ssbbw's and their partners are not.?erm.. actually the only examples i can think of right now are missy zitkus n wayne and me n GD.. but i know there are more..
So anyway, surely the partners of ssbbws can also see whats on the secret board? Or is there some sort of hypocratic oath type thing you have to sign before you are allowed in. 
Just pointing out another way in which secret boards might not be seen by only those they are intended for..
Also, i really wish the "should there be an fa board" and "should there be a bbw board" could be summerised by someone clever into key points and issues!


----------



## fatchicksrockuk

mergirl said:


> Repped. Cause i'm inpressed by swearing n that.
> I was going to say, What about people who are ssbbw's and their partners are not.?erm.. actually the only examples i can think of right now are missy zitkus n wayne and me n GD.. but i know there are more..
> So anyway, surely the partners of ssbbws can also see whats on the secret board? Or is there some sort of hypocratic oath type thing you have to sign before you are allowed in.
> Just pointing out another way in which secret boards might not be seen by only those they are intended for..
> Also, i really wish the "should there be an fa board" and "should there be a bbw board" could be summerised by someone clever into key points and issues!



Do you mean that the only ssbbw in a relationship (with a non-ssbbw) that you know on Dimensions is Sandie Zitkus??


----------



## mergirl

fatchicksrockuk said:


> Do you mean that the only ssbbw in a relationship (with a non-ssbbw) that you know on Dimensions is Sandie Zitkus??


Do you THINK i mean that?


----------



## Weeze

SamanthaNY said:


> You mean this &#8595;?



Well, that was one.

I must say, I am quite amused.
I think this thread just needs to stop. It seems to be getting rather off-topic, doesn't it? Not that the topic was really one that was necessary to discuss in the first place (just my opinion. I can understand why others would feel differently)


----------



## SamanthaNY

Show me a thread that stays ON topic, ya know? 

Tis a rare thing indeed, methinks. 

At this point, I wish someone *cough, wink* would just put a stop to the whole new board issue all together. Put everyone out of their misery (and it IS almost everyone) and just say... it ain't happening right now. No new boards. Calm down, go back to talking about bashes and paysites and shoes, and at some point other boards will be revisited. 

Wouldn't it be nice if someone could do that.


----------



## FaxMachine1234

SamanthaNY said:


> Show me a thread that stays ON topic, ya know?
> 
> Tis a rare thing indeed, methinks.
> 
> At this point, I wish someone *cough, wink* would just put a stop to the whole new board issue all together. Put everyone out of their misery (and it IS almost everyone) and just say... it ain't happening right now. No new boards. Calm down, go back to talking about bashes and paysites and shoes, and at some point other boards will be revisited.
> 
> Wouldn't it be nice if someone could do that.



Well considering the majority of the people in both threads do want some sort of new board(s) and have indicated which particular ones in the polls, it'd be kind of anti-climatic if the decision was made not to make them just to end discussion (especially since it'd probably do just the opposite at this point).

But yeah, this specific thread isn't really serving a purpose anymore.


----------



## SamanthaNY

Ekim said:


> Well considering the majority of the people in both threads do want some sort of new board(s) and have indicated which particular ones in the polls, it'd be kind of anti-climatic if the decision was made not to make them just to end discussion (especially since it'd probably do just the opposite at this point).
> 
> But yeah, this specific thread isn't really serving a purpose anymore.


Sure... make the new boards... don't make the new boards. That part actually doesn't matter. I just wish someone would do something to quell the ongoing vomit of discuss-fight-mock-newthread!-bitch-question-argue-newthread!-mock-laugh-discuss-newthread! (lather-rinse-repeat). Because it's exhausting, and seems neverending. That might be okay, except that it's spawned off some pretty serious gender-warring, privacy issues and personal fights that might leave lasting damage (if they haven't already) if it continues. Hammering hot bamboo sticks under my fingernails sounds funner than watching that. That's right, I said "funner". Deal. 

I just think some words... perhaps giving an idea as to the status of consideration, and indicating that there's been sufficient member input... might calm things down.

Or, I could just start heating up the bamboo sticks.


----------



## kayrae

This thread is not a proposal. And for those of us who supports this idea, the discussion is not futile. The FFA/FA board proposal had its time to be developed. I personally don't expect any response from Conrad until we're able to figure out what we actually want. And if you (and I'm speaking in the general DIMS "you" sense) don't support this idea, that's fine. However, I really don't see the problem with addressing a need that others have expressed. The idea also needs time for other members to jump in on the discussion should they choose to do so. This particular idea has only been around for a week.


----------



## vardon_grip

I think the introduction of new private boards should be fee based. 

Along with the privacy to discuss personal issues there would be added perks like membership in the clubhouse brings. Paying members could get a larger avatar, more PM space, _sexy cabana boys_*, etc. and it would generate more income for the site.






*_Added at the suggestion of Angel_


----------



## Angel

Before requesting a restructuring of the forums to meet an individual's or group of individuals' wants or needs, it would be best to first familiarize oneself with what the purpose of Dimensions is. 

Would the desired forum fall in line with what the purpose of Dimensions is? 

Can the existing forums not be utilized to meet your desires or needs? If not, why?

I can understand the need for a private women's or BBW health forum. Has anyone considered the number of women this would involve? If half of the registered users are or claim to be female, then thousands. Who could possibly know that each of them are legit or that they do not allow others access to their computer? You're not talking about small number of women.

Who would decide whom is given access? Who would end up with the responsibility of making sure each applicant was legit and then with the added responsibility of adding or altering forum access? The mods already have a lot of responsibility on their shoulders. It would take more than two previously established and experienced Dimensions female mods for that ratio of female board members. 

Would the proposed forum be a positive for Dimensions as a whole, or would it further fragment Dimensions and lead to segregation and possible hurt feelings? Would the forum be worth the time and trouble or would it be easier and more efficient to utilize the existing forums?

Regarding the suggestion that newbies be given access if they have health or mental issues: Again, consider the purpose of Dimensions. Dimensions is a web board. It is not an emergency room; it is not a mental health crisis center; it doesn't employee physicians, psychiatrists, or psychologists, nurses, or pharmacists. As with the existing health board, it is a web board and only should be used as such for discussion and not as a substitute for needed medical attention.

Just my thoughts.


----------



## Angel

vardon_grip said:


> I think the introduction of new private boards should be fee based.
> 
> Along with the privacy to discuss personal issues there would be added perks like membership in the clubhouse brings. Paying members could get a larger avatar, more PM space, etc. and it would generate more income for the site.



Will there be sexy cabana boys? 



... and pics of a certain towel clad young man every so often?  


 to you know who! LOL


----------



## ashmamma84

superodalisque said:


> yes but it can be a place to say stuff that other people might take as insulting. they could discuss the idea of perhaps not wanting to get beyond a certain size that isn't comfortable for them without seeming callus. but thats a lot different from gossiping and being just plain nasty and trying to demean another member of dims who isn't allowed in the board. sometimes someone else's truth may hurt someone's feelings inadvertantly. thats what makes a smaller BBWs only board a valid idea.
> 
> i do think there should be safe place to talk about your challenges and how if you get treated a certain way it impacts you emotionally. just because people talk about thier challenges it doesn't mean its a finger pointing expedition. it can and is done on other boards as a more of "how can i handle this" kind of thing. i know, and will never believe that smaller BBWs spend all of their time talking about SSBBWs negatively behind their backs. they are just trying to get love like everyone else. but like any other group here they have differences and should have the right like everyone else to have a seperate place to freely discuss them if they want one.
> 
> the only thing that bothers me so far about this thread is that most of the people who are trying to mediate what happens don't even fall into that class. i think they (smaller BBWs) should be the ones to decide of they want a board or not just as the poll asks, and what kind it should be if any. other people shouldn't be worrying about what might or might not be said in there. we all know that this site is skewed toward the bigger women in many aspects. most of the interest here is about being big or getting bigger. this is a prime reason why smaller BBWs really have a reason to have their own board where they can be heard when a question is asked of them.



*QFT/E*

.......


----------



## vardon_grip

Angel said:


> Will there be sexy cabana boys?
> 
> 
> 
> ... and pics of a certain towel clad young man every so often?
> 
> 
> to you know who! LOL



Great idea! I went back and edited my post to add the cabana boys


----------



## Angel

vardon_grip said:


> Great idea! I went back and edited my post to add the cabana boys



Can I please be the one to interview and check out the prospects? :smitten:


during interview - just pose in a towel, please


----------



## kayrae

Thanks for your input. I haven't fully thought out these specific questions, but will come back with possible ideas once I have the time to formulate my solutions.



Angel said:


> Before requesting a restructuring of the forums to meet an individual's or group of individuals' wants or needs, it would be best to first familiarize oneself with what the purpose of Dimensions is.
> 
> Would the desired forum fall in line with what the purpose of Dimensions is?
> 
> Can the existing forums not be utilized to meet your desires or needs? If not, why?
> 
> I can understand the need for a private women's or BBW health forum. Has anyone considered the number of women this would involve? If half of the registered users are or claim to be female, then thousands. Who could possibly know that each of them are legit or that they do not allow others access to their computer? You're not talking about small number of women.
> 
> Who would decide whom is given access? Who would end up with the responsibility of making sure each applicant was legit and then with the added responsibility of adding or altering forum access? The mods already have a lot of responsibility on their shoulders. It would take more than two previously established and experienced Dimensions female mods for that ratio of female board members.
> 
> Would the proposed forum be a positive for Dimensions as a whole, or would it further fragment Dimensions and lead to segregation and possible hurt feelings? Would the forum be worth the time and trouble or would it be easier and more efficient to utilize the existing forums?
> 
> Regarding the suggestion that newbies be given access if they have health or mental issues: Again, consider the purpose of Dimensions. Dimensions is a web board. It is not an emergency room; it is not a mental health crisis center; it doesn't employee physicians, psychiatrists, or psychologists, nurses, or pharmacists. As with the existing health board, it is a web board and only should be used as such for discussion and not as a substitute for needed medical attention.
> 
> Just my thoughts.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

kayrae said:


> GEF, what do you suggest? I've been trying to think of a solution on how to be open to newbies who have physical/mental health issues, but still be able to keep some semblance of privacy. I guess I'm trying to figure out what hoops one must go through to get into the SSBBW board, and how we could replicate that here. (Not that I necessarily want that information posted here, because then trolls could get into the SSBBW board).
> 
> I'm also trying to figure out what's reasonable. An option that I've heard is creating a sub-board to the health board for women's only. That would block people who don't register to DIMs. But what would be the point of that? Lots of lurkers here. It hardly even matters if you're registered or not.





Sandie S-R said:


> Kayrae,
> 
> The obvious reason that you would be attempting to have a private forum for women, would be to create a place of trust where people can feel OK to open up and discuss the things that they would not discuss publicly.
> 
> Establishing trust doesn't just happen over night. And it won't happen if you are trying to be open to newbies and just anyone who registers. Your posters in the private forum are going to want as much assurance as is reasonably possible that someone won't violate their trust (and confidentiality) and talk about the private matters discussed privately, in the public forum (or even outside the public forum).
> 
> One of the ways to help establish that kind of trust is to only accept members to that forum after they have been posting here at Dimensions for a certain time period. Maybe you would want to say that they would have to have been registered her for over 6 months or have "XXX" number of posts. That way, they would be a known entity (to whatever degree that is possible). Also if this is a women only board, this would also be a help to be sure that the person seeking membership is not a man.
> 
> Hope that gives you a little direction.



I want a board similar to the ssbbw board. Women only. 
Just what Sandie said.....

If it's just a "protected" sub-forum on the health board where anyone can read it but just not respond, then eff that shit. I'm not participating. I want the privacy others have or nothing. 



kayrae said:


> This thread is not a proposal. And for those of us who supports this idea, the discussion is not futile. The FFA/FA board proposal had its time to be developed. I personally don't expect any response from Conrad until we're able to figure out what we actually want. And if you (and I'm speaking in the general DIMS "you" sense) don't support this idea, that's fine. However, I really don't see the problem with addressing a need that others have expressed. The idea also needs time for other members to jump in on the discussion should they choose to do so. This particular idea has only been around for a week.



Thank you- I agree.


----------



## AshleyEileen

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I want a board similar to the ssbbw board. Women only.
> Just what Sandie said.....
> 
> If it's just a "protected" sub-forum on the health board where anyone can read it but just not respond, then eff that shit. I'm not participating. I want the privacy others have or nothing.



I love you more and more every day. :wubu:

Someone rep GEF for me!


----------



## NoWayOut

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I want a board similar to the ssbbw board. Women only.
> Just what Sandie said.....
> 
> If it's just a "protected" sub-forum on the health board where anyone can read it but just not respond, then eff that shit. I'm not participating. I want the privacy others have or nothing.



Just out of curiosity, why is a board where non-members could read and not post unacceptable? What's the negative about that?


----------



## Miss Vickie

NoWayOut said:


> Just out of curiosity, why is a board where non-members could read and not post unacceptable? What's the negative about that?



Um.... the complete and total lack of privacy? The fact that what is said there could be use for wank/troll fodder? Other than that, it's totally peachy.


----------



## kayrae

Because the whole point of creating this particular board deals with mental and physical health issues dealing with fatness that some women feel uncomfortable discussing.



NoWayOut said:


> Just out of curiosity, why is a board where non-members could read and not post unacceptable? What's the negative about that?


----------



## NoWayOut

Miss Vickie said:


> Um.... the complete and total lack of privacy? The fact that what is said there could be use for wank/troll fodder? Other than that, it's totally peachy.



There's a way around that. You could make it against the rules of the board to post anything that is said on the private board on the public boards.



kayrae said:


> Because the whole point of creating this particular board deals with mental and physical health issues dealing with fatness that some women feel uncomfortable discussing.



This I can understand. It would make it difficult for a guy to try to get an understanding of how to be sensitive to those issues, though.


----------



## kayrae

Angel, I'm going to respond to this statement first. Don't worry, I'm still thinking about your other questions, but this particular comment needs to be addressed. I know that DIMS is not a substitute for actual medical attention. Quite frankly, I find it insulting to my intelligence for you to even infer that I would assume that posting about my mental and physical health issues is about that. 

I am a victim of sexual/physical/verbal abuse. I have found through personal experience that being able to discuss the trauma with women who have gone through similar situations is empowering and liberating. My abuse is most certainly related to my weight. Sometimes I view DIMs as a support group of sorts.

It's explained in the FAQ that "Dimensions is about size politics, acceptance, and mutual respect as much as it is about celebrating the larger figure." As a fat woman, I define size acceptance as self-acceptance. Growing up chubby in a world that has hurled hurtful invectives because of my weight has damaged my self-esteem. Coming to DIMS has changed that self-perception. I am no longer focused on harming my body through unattainable weight loss. There are women here who do not have personal one-on-one access to another fat woman. Some of these women view their bodies with disgust despite the loving attention that FAs might give them. 

This website should not only be about fat fantasy. The women here deserve to be more than just wank fodder. There are women here who simply cannot talk about their weight/female issues because the very idea that someone will fap to their health problems will shut them up. Should Dimensions ignore their needs? 

In the six months that I've been a part of this community, FAs have continuously expressed that their "ideal BBW" is confident and loves her body. What is the problem with giving a woman a "safe" space to discuss these issues? 





Angel said:


> Regarding the suggestion that newbies be given access if they have health or mental issues: Again, consider the purpose of Dimensions. Dimensions is a web board. It is not an emergency room; it is not a mental health crisis center; it doesn't employee physicians, psychiatrists, or psychologists, nurses, or pharmacists. As with the existing health board, it is a web board and only should be used as such for discussion and not as a substitute for needed medical attention.


----------



## Tania

kayrae said:


> Because the whole point of creating this particular board deals with mental and physical health issues dealing with fatness that some women feel uncomfortable discussing.



Yeah. For me, weight/size and mental health are inextricable topics. Any serious discussion of weight, size, or sexuality is going to draw directly from my eating disorders and chronically bad body image, two subjects that are pretty marginalized here for a number of reasons. I don't necessarily mind discussing these issues "in public," as it were, but I do get the impression that your average Dimensioneer is at best gonna be uncomfortable with the themes that dominate my particular "fat" experience. Because of that, I feel like a great deal of what I have to say is out of place, if not misunderstood our outright unwelcome. And that makes me feel very uncomfortable about posting here. 

As for the "smaller" BBW board deal, SuperOdalisque's latest post addressed many of my own thoughts on the issue:



> yes but it can be a place to say stuff that other people might take as insulting. they could discuss the idea of perhaps not wanting to get beyond a certain size that isn't comfortable for them without seeming callus. but thats a lot different from gossiping and being just plain nasty and trying to demean another member of dims who isn't allowed in the board. sometimes someone else's truth may hurt someone's feelings inadvertantly. thats what makes a smaller BBWs only board a valid idea.
> 
> i do think there should be safe place to talk about your challenges and how if you get treated a certain way it impacts you emotionally. just because people talk about thier challenges it doesn't mean its a finger pointing expedition. it can and is done on other boards as a more of "how can i handle this" kind of thing. i know, and will never believe that smaller BBWs spend all of their time talking about SSBBWs negatively behind their backs. they are just trying to get love like everyone else. but like any other group here they have differences and should have the right like everyone else to have a seperate place to freely discuss them if they want one.
> 
> the only thing that bothers me so far about this thread is that most of the people who are trying to mediate what happens don't even fall into that class. i think they (smaller BBWs) should be the ones to decide of they want a board or not just as the poll asks, and what kind it should be if any. other people shouldn't be worrying about what might or might not be said in there. we all know that this site is skewed toward the bigger women in many aspects. most of the interest here is about being big or getting bigger. this is a prime reason why smaller BBWs really have a reason to have their own board where they can be heard when a question is asked of them.


----------



## Tania

kayrae said:


> This website should not only be about fat fantasy. The women here deserve to be more than just wank fodder. There are women here who simply cannot talk about their weight/female issues because the very idea that someone will fap to their health problems will shut them up. Should Dimensions ignore their needs?
> 
> In the six months that I've been a part of this community, FAs have continuously expressed that their "ideal BBW" is confident and loves her body. What is the problem with giving a woman a "safe" space to discuss these issues?



Yup. This is the crux of the matter, as I see it.


----------



## Miss Vickie

NoWayOut said:


> There's a way around that. You could make it against the rules of the board to post anything that is said on the private board on the public boards.



Oh yes, because trolls always follow the rules, don't they? They don't ever violate the social order for their own yaya's? And as for wank fodder, you didn't even address that. So "a way around" it? Nope.


----------



## vardon_grip

kayrae said:


> snip*
> This website should not only be about fat fantasy. The women here deserve to be more than just wank fodder.
> *



This forum isn't only about fat fantasy. There is that here, but there is more to it.


----------



## kayrae

So why the vehement resistance to even discussing the possibility that it could be so much more? It's so wearying to constantly read that what I'm suggesting is such a far-fetched idea. Should I just go back to posting pictures of my belly? Would that make you happier? I don't understand the consistent request to end this conversation because it's bringing up "hurt feelings."

Do you want to know what hurts my feelings? 



vardon_grip said:


> I think the introduction of new private boards should be fee based.
> 
> Along with the privacy to discuss personal issues there would be added perks like membership in the clubhouse brings. Paying members could get a larger avatar, more PM space, _sexy cabana boys_*, etc. and it would generate more income for the site.



I don't see why you think a private forum for women to discuss private health issues should be fee-based when the current paysite board doesn't have that restriction. That's some bullshit sexist double-standard, vardon_grip. If your concern is generating money, that's some big-time money-making idea right there. Think about that one for awhile. Then come back and tell me another awesome idea.


----------



## mergirl

I was going to say. "This thred is just going round in circles now" but i think i might be about a week late.
I think everyone agrees that a safe space for bbws and for fa's is needed. I think where the argument lies is in whether this is something Dimensions provides already or not. 
I think there is a lot of mistrust between (some) bbws' and (some) Fa's. The Bbw's worried that issues they might want to talk about becomming "wank fodder" or just generally and tiresomely missunderstood. The Fa's on the other hand wish to have a space where they can talk about Fa' issues (including the Fa guilt issue which has come up a lot) without either upsetting people or people saying "well i have it worse". 
Bearing this in mind, is there not some sort of compromise that can be reached where if a bbw wants to talk about certain issues, Fa's will leave the discussion well alone and if Fa's say something along the lines of "i had a hard time 'comming out' to my friends" they wont get showered with "so what, try being me". 
So instead of opening new forums we can all try to open our minds a bit.
Or will the "anger", "wank", "whatever" responces be so great that this will prove impossible???


----------



## William

Hi Mer

Why are BBWs and FAs so different from FFAs, BHMs and the GLBTQ population that they are the only ones that need a private area?

If I voted I would vote first for one private area for woman or second for several areas for women of different sizes (separate but equal). 

William




mergirl said:


> I was going to say. "This thred is just going round in circles now" but i think i might be about a week late.
> I think everyone agrees that a safe space for bbws and for fa's is needed. I think where the argument lies is in whether this is something Dimensions provides already or not.
> I think there is a lot of mistrust between (some) bbws' and (some) Fa's. The Bbw's worried that issues they might want to talk about becomming "wank fodder" or just generally and tiresomely missunderstood. The Fa's on the other hand wish to have a space where they can talk about Fa' issues (including the Fa guilt issue which has come up a lot) without either upsetting people or people saying "well i have it worse".
> Bearing this in mind, is there not some sort of compromise that can be reached where if a bbw wants to talk about certain issues, Fa's will leave the discussion well alone and if Fa's say something along the lines of "i had a hard time 'comming out' to my friends" they wont get showered with "so what, try being me".
> So instead of opening new forums we can all try to open our minds a bit.
> Or will the "anger", "wank", "whatever" responces be so great that this will prove impossible???


----------



## JMNYC

*Isn't it better to see if you can get along with people who differ from you---gay, transgender, supersize, medium sized, married, single, gainer, no-gainer, (and no-brainer!) people of color, younger, older---

Than to add yet another board so people can stay in a box and not be challenged?

We now pick our music and our television and our internet activities based on hundreds and thousands of choices.

Shall we pick our people that way, too?

Do we really want little slices of heaven---or ghettos?

More separation?

Not I.

*


----------



## mergirl

William.
The foundations of Dimensions are based around Fa's and BBW's. I guess then FFa's and BHM's wanted their own private space that they could discuss FFa and Bhm issues. All of which is pretty hetrocentric so recently an lgbt board was added. None of these boards are private. I have participated on the ffa/bhm boards and i am really happy that those of you who are hetrosexual participate on the lgbt boards because its really not about creating ghettos its about making spaces for those who feel excluded. Can you really say bbws and Fa's are excluded at dimensions?


----------



## William

Hi Mer

I do not mind the many boards on Dimensions because I use the "New Post" function, so everything is like one big board to me anyway. 

There are not that many private boards on Dimensions and I wonder what why BBWs and FAs each need a private board and why is it that all other men and women (not counting SSBBWs) on dimensions do not.


William





mergirl said:


> William.
> The foundations of Dimensions are based around Fa's and BBW's. I guess then FFa's and BHM's wanted their own private space that they could discuss FFa and Bhm issues. All of which is pretty hetrocentric so recently an lgbt board was added. None of these boards are private. I have participated on the ffa/bhm boards and i am really happy that those of you who are hetrosexual participate on the lgbt boards because its really not about creating ghettos its about making spaces for those who feel excluded. Can you really say bbws and Fa's are excluded at dimensions?


----------



## mergirl

William said:


> Hi Mer
> 
> I do not mind the many boards on Dimensions because I use the "New Post" function, so everything is like one big board to me anyway.
> 
> There are not that many private boards on Dimensions and I wonder what why BBWs and FAs each need a private board and why is it that all other men and women (not counting SSBBWs) on dimensions do not.
> 
> 
> William


Well there was talk of a 'womans board' too. I guess to include Ffa's or women who used to be bbw's but have lost weight. I'm not sure i see the point of that either mind.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

Can we have a private Lurker forum? Only people with no posts are allowed in and once you do post you'd no longer be able to view it. 

It'd be awesomely pointless.


----------



## William

Because we men are Hound Dawgs????



Seriously I think most of the most serious problems on the internet are generated by Guys


William




mergirl said:


> Well there was talk of a 'womans board' too. I guess to include Ffa's or women who used to be bbw's but have lost weight. I'm not sure i see the point of that either mind.


----------



## mergirl

William said:


> Because we men are Hound Dawgs????
> 
> William


yes. Crying all the time!


----------



## NoWayOut

Miss Vickie said:


> Oh yes, because trolls always follow the rules, don't they? They don't ever violate the social order for their own yaya's? And as for wank fodder, you didn't even address that. So "a way around" it? Nope.



So you ban them if they don't follow the rules. Duh. Plus, I didn't have to address wank fodder seperately, because that is also eliminated by the "no public discussions" rule. So yeah, there is a way around it, which I've already explained. 

Quite simply, you don't want a solution to your problem. You just want an excuse for this hypothetical board to be private without coming out and saying you're uncomfortable, so you wanted this problem to have no solution. But just say you don't feel comfortable that someone you don't know could read what you're saying, so you want total privacy. That's a respectable position. Don't make up a problem and then complain when someone presents a simple solution because you didn't want a solution at all. That's cowardly.


----------



## kayrae

NoWayOut, perhaps you haven't read the posts here at all because "uncomfortable" has been cited plenty of times. This argument will continue to become circuitous if those of you who don't support this board continue to ignore the repeated reasoning why the idea for this board was brought up in the first place: Women want a "private" place to discuss uncomfortable mental and physical health issues. This board will not be a place to talk about anything unrelated to health issues. It is a forum for women who are too uncomfortable to post in the current open health board.


----------



## mergirl

kayrae said:


> NoWayOut, perhaps you haven't read the posts here at all because "uncomfortable" has been cited plenty of times. This argument will continue to become circuitous if those of you who don't support this board continue to ignore the repeated reasoning why the idea for this board was brought up in the first place: Women want a "private" place to discuss uncomfortable mental and physical health issues. This board will not be a place to talk about anything unrelated to health issues. It is a forum for women who are too uncomfortable to post in the current open health board.


There is a 'womans library' in Glasgow, which (as the name hints at) is for women only. Not only does it let out books/videos/music etc it also provides a woman only space and workshops/discussion groups on many things including rape,domestic abuse and things like that. Years ago my male friend said he didnt think it was fair that only women were allowed in (think i was popping in to return my books and he had to wait outside)..i told him it was important that there was a woman only space because a lot of the women who see it as a sanctuary have been badly treated by men and NEED a woman only space. I also said if it bugged him that much then he should just form a 'mens library'.
I understand the need for women only spaces but i cant understand why there is a need for one in the context of Dimensions. 
If it would be for discussing anything other that fat related topics there are a plethora of external sites surely? 
I cant think of many things that would be discussed on a women only forum that women might not be comfortable discussing in public.
Then again, from what you are saying..the womans forum would basically be a private extention of the health forum.. again i cant see what would fill it apart from a couple of things for which there is adiquate support externally.


----------



## kayrae

the various times I mentioned the word "uncomfortable"

On my very first post, oh my!
#2
#3
#4

Should I also look up when "uncomfortable" is merely implied or is the blatant use of the actual word satisfactory?


----------



## kayrae

mergirl said:


> I cant think of many things that would be discussed on a women only forum that women might not be comfortable discussing in public.
> Then again, from what you are saying..the womans forum would basically be a private extention of the health forum.. again i cant see what would fill it apart from a couple of things for which there is adiquate support externally.



I think Tania explained it.



Tania said:


> Yeah. For me, weight/size and mental health are inextricable topics. Any serious discussion of weight, size, or sexuality is going to draw directly from my eating disorders and chronically bad body image, two subjects that are pretty marginalized here for a number of reasons. I don't necessarily mind discussing these issues "in public," as it were, but I do get the impression that your average Dimensioneer is at best gonna be uncomfortable with the themes that dominate my particular "fat" experience. Because of that, I feel like a great deal of what I have to say is out of place, if not misunderstood our outright unwelcome. And that makes me feel very uncomfortable about posting here.



But mergirl, the mental and physical health issues that I've explained numerous times ARE fat-related. I just woke up, so I'm not going to cite all the reasons now.


----------



## mergirl

kayrae said:


> the various times I mentioned the word "uncomfortable"
> 
> On my very first post, oh my!
> #2
> #3
> #4
> 
> Should I also look up when "uncomfortable" is merely implied or is the blatant use of the actual word satisfactory?


See, this is what i mean. Do you mean 'fat related health issues'?, because if so i think this is a good enough argument for your 'personal' need for a private space seeing as you are uncomfortable discussing these issues in front of men. Then again, is this not just like a private womans version of the health forum. I would be interested to hear how many women specifically feel they require a forum like this and how many feel they can discuss such issues on a non fat/fa related site.


----------



## mergirl

kayrae said:


> I think Tania explained it.
> 
> 
> 
> But mergirl, the mental and physical health issues that I've explained numerous times ARE fat-related. I just woke up, so I'm not going to cite all the reasons now.


Its ok i get you.
Again it boils down to the fa/bbw divide.
Another example of which, is fat people afraid to discuss the negitive aspects of being fat because it might make 'people feel uncomfortable' and Fa's afraid to talk about Fa guilt at the fact there are negitive aspects to being fat for fear of making 'other people uncomfortable'.
Perhaps feeling 'uncomfortable' is a sign that bridges need to be built as opposed to doors being closed.


----------



## kayrae

JMNYC said:


> *Isn't it better to see if you can get along with people who differ from you---gay, transgender, supersize, medium sized, married, single, gainer, no-gainer, (and no-brainer!) people of color, younger, older--- Than to add yet another board so people can stay in a box and not be challenged? We now pick our music and our television and our internet activities based on hundreds and thousands of choices. Shall we pick our people that way, too? Do we really want little slices of heaven---or ghettos? More separation?Not I.*



I'm going to quote superodalisque who already addressed this particular concern:



superodalisque said:


> i love the SSBBW forum. i think its great because people feel less pressure to be like other people and fit in. its more honest. every group has thier own particular concerns. i think smaller BBWs should have a forum. i know for a fact that smaller BBWs get treated differently. a lot of them get insulted by FAs and SSBBWs. they have many reasons why they feel they can't say what they may need to in the public forum. they need a place were they can let their hair down too. i know people would be all over thier case if they said some things in the public forum that they really felt. some of the other folks would take it as an insult. if there isn't a demand for it time will tell anyway. *but in general you'll note that with all of these private forums people still post in the general ones the most. so i really don't see why it should be a big deal if groups have private forums. after all its all about a hunger for community and the general forum satisfies that.*


----------



## kayrae

No. I am specifically saying that I am uncomfortable discussing certain issues around men, period. I don't see the creation of a private women's health board as something detrimental to men. I see it as a place where a woman can discuss her uncomfortable fat issues without it becoming wank fodder. I want to replicate the privacy that the SSBBWs have with their board.



mergirl said:


> Its ok i get you.
> Again it boils down to the fa/bbw divide.
> Another example of which, is fat people afraid to discuss the negitive aspects of being fat because it might make 'people feel uncomfortable' and Fa's afraid to talk about Fa guilt at the fact there are negitive aspects to being fat for fear of making 'other people uncomfortable'.
> Perhaps feeling 'uncomfortable' is a sign that bridges need to be built as opposed to doors being closed.


----------



## mergirl

kayrae said:


> No. I am specifically saying that I am uncomfortable discussing certain issues around men, period. I don't see the creation of a private women's health board as something detrimental to men. I see it as a place where a woman can discuss her uncomfortable fat issues without it becoming wank fodder. I want to replicate the privacy that the SSBBWs have with their board.


Ahh so you mean a bbw only board and not a woman only board?
If it was a 'womans board' would lesbian Fa's be allowed in? If so how do we make sure they are not using womens fat health issues as wank fodder too?


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

NoWayOut said:


> Just out of curiosity, why is a board where non-members could read and not post unacceptable? What's the negative about that?





NoWayOut said:


> There's a way around that. You could make it against the rules of the board to post anything that is said on the private board on the public boards.
> 
> 
> 
> This I can understand. It would make it difficult for a guy to try to get an understanding of how to be sensitive to those issues, though.



You know......aren't you the same guy that just said in another thread you don't like jokes about the penis and won't discuss sex? You're the guy that doesn't even like flirting/teasing/joking on that level.

You truly don't understand why I'm not willing to discuss my gynecological questions and issues out in the open? :blink:

Let me make it simple then: It's none of your business. I only discuss this stuff with other women, health care providers or my husband/lover. 

If YOU feel comfortable talking about your itchy balls, ripped anus, your prostrate or whatever wonderful things your body might do at one time out where EVERYONE can know those things about you then go for it.

I'm not down with it myself though. Kapiche? 



kayrae said:


> So why the vehement resistance to even discussing the possibility that it could be so much more? It's so wearying to constantly read that what I'm suggesting is such a far-fetched idea. Should I just go back to posting pictures of my belly? Would that make you happier? I don't understand the consistent request to end this conversation because it's bringing up "hurt feelings."
> 
> Do you want to know what hurts my feelings?



What about the hurt feelings of some of the BBWs here that keep getting these messages that what we want/need/request is of no importance and should not even be discussed? 

Yeah it's great if people want a private place to talk about their shame of being attracted to us but we should just stfu. Nice messages being sent out to us to let us know how unimportant we are.....
Thanks so fucking much.




kayrae said:


> I don't see why you think a private forum for women to discuss private health issues should be fee-based when the current paysite board doesn't have that restriction. That's some bullshit sexist double-standard, vardon_grip. If your concern is generating money, that's some big-time money-making idea right there. Think about that one for awhile. Then come back and tell me another awesome idea.



Yep. Free fap material all over this board but us bitches should stfu if we have anything else we might want to talk about. 

Know what is MOST mind-blowing about this? I all the time see the men complaining of women being too whatever this and that....so when we ask for a private place to TALK ABOUT OURSELVES (not others), it's a big deal yet not worth talking about.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

kayrae said:


> *NoWayOut, perhaps you haven't read the posts here at all because "uncomfortable" has been cited plenty of times.* This argument will continue to become circuitous if those of you who don't support this board continue to ignore the repeated reasoning why the idea for this board was brought up in the first place: Women want a "private" place to discuss uncomfortable mental and physical health issues. This board will not be a place to talk about anything unrelated to health issues. It is a forum for women who are too uncomfortable to post in the current open health board.



Yes, my thoughts exactly when I read his question: He hasn't even bothered to read the thread. :doh:


----------



## mergirl

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Know what is MOST mind-blowing about this? I all the time see the men complaining of women being too whatever this and that....so when we ask for a private place to TALK ABOUT OURSELVES (not others), it's a big deal yet not worth talking about.



See, this is different. A women only space for women just to chat i can understand. Though, if we wern't talking about fat related issues we would be as well trotting off to our local coffee morning to discuss macrame and fund raising for the village hall!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

mergirl said:


> See, this is different. A women only space for women just to chat i can understand. Though, if we wern't talking about fat related issues we would be as well trotting off to our local coffee morning to discuss macrame and fund raising for the village hall!




Personally, I have the idea that only certain related topics would be allowed. Otherwise, kick it out to the main board. Not a coffee house type of convo place...


----------



## Miss Vickie

NoWayOut said:


> So you ban them if they don't follow the rules. Duh.



Are you volunteering to take on the job of moderating the thousands of posts that this would likely create? And what about the women who are hurt by the presence of the trollish behavior, before those posts are deleted? Obviously you can't relate to the hurt that the women here are expressing. That's okay. But at least stay out of the way while they try to create a space that will work for them. How does it hurt you, _personally_, if there is a private board where women discuss private health issues? Are you afraid you'll miss out on something?



> Plus, I didn't have to address wank fodder seperately, because that is also eliminated by the "no public discussions" rule. So yeah, there is a way around it, which I've already explained.



Obviously we have a different definition of what "wank fodder" is.



> Quite simply, you don't want a solution to your problem. You just want an excuse for this hypothetical board to be private without coming out and saying you're uncomfortable, so you wanted this problem to have no solution.



You don't know what it is I want and I think it's silly of you to pretend that you do, particularly since you've misread much of what I, and others, have written. I've been posting on the internet since I suspect you were in your footie pajamas, and so I know what happens when women post their very private, very personal, very embarrassing difficulties online for all the world to see. It often ends up stolen and placed on fat hating sites, to the ultimate humiliation of the women in question. Is this what you want for the women here? I'm beginning to think that maybe it is.



> But just say you don't feel comfortable that someone you don't know could read what you're saying, so you want total privacy. That's a respectable position. Don't make up a problem and then complain when someone presents a simple solution because you didn't want a solution at all. That's cowardly.



You have a lotta damn gall calling me a coward, and I suspect you wouldn't have the balls to make such an accusation to my face, so who's the coward? Yours is neither "simple", nor a "solution" to the discomfort that has been expressed here, as Kayrae has outlined, over and over again. The only solution is to provide for the non SSBBW here what the SSBBW women here have -- a private space to discuss private matters. It's really quite simple, and I still don't understand why anyone would take exception to it, unless they have a prurient interest in the goings on in such a forum.

I want something that works for the women here who are in pain, not the FA's who may potentially get off on their difficulties, or the trolls who will laugh at them. Not being fat myself anymore, it doesn't really benefit me to have such a site; I've already been pretty much muzzled from talking about my WLS because it's perceived by a vocal few as being "cheerleading" and so I have found other places to discuss my issues. However, as it relates this idea, I _have_ been fat, and a woman, (have you?) and so I understand the need to have a private space to discuss private issues that are embarrassing when discussed publicly.

Is that really so truly awful and wrong?


----------



## mergirl

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Personally, I have the idea that only certain related topics would be allowed. Otherwise, kick it out to the main board. Not a coffee house type of convo place...


hmm what kinna topics could be discussed?
You mean for a womans board or bbw board btw cause i'm getting mixed up at what is being asked for now!?


----------



## Miss Vickie

mergirl said:


> hmm what kinna topics could be discussed?
> You mean for a womans board or bbw board btw cause i'm getting mixed up at what is being asked for now!?



As I understand it, it's a private space to discuss the personal, potentially embarrassing issues that fat women face. Stuff we wouldn't feel comfortable discussing publicly. You know, "girlie stuff".


----------



## mergirl

Miss Vickie said:


> As I understand it, it's a private space to discuss the personal, potentially embarrassing issues that fat women face. Stuff we wouldn't feel comfortable discussing publicly. You know, "girlie stuff".


Ahh ok. i see. 
I know there is a private ssbbw forum -i'm not sure of exactly the weight/size you have to be to join..so.
If there was a private bbw forum-what weight/size would it start from. Also, would ssbbw women be allowed to join seeing as their problems are deemed as different?
I'm not being awkward..(well not trying to be) i'm trying to understand whats being asked and what would be involved and trying to think about problems that might arise as well as benifits.
x


----------



## Miss Vickie

mergirl said:


> Ahh ok. i see.
> I know there is a private ssbbw forum -i'm not sure of exactly the weight/size you have to be to join..so.
> If there was a private bbw forum-what weight/size would it start from. Also, would ssbbw women be allowed to join seeing as their problems are deemed as different?
> I'm not being awkward..(well not trying to be) i'm trying to understand whats being asked and what would be involved and trying to think about problems that might arise as well as benifits.
> x



As I understand it, non-SSBBW cannot join that board. It's only for SSBBW's, and I have no idea really how it came about or if there's a lower weight limit or whatever. Good question about the private BBW forum and who would be able to join. I'm not sure. 

I don't think you're being awkward. I think you're asking good questions, things we should think about. Hell, since I'm a size 14, they may not even let me in.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

Okay, using my imagination. Let me see what sort of topic a BBW might feel uncomfortable discussing in front of a group of men who are into fat women. 

"I want to lose weight or I've been thinking about it, but I am torn"

now, not every man here is a dumbass who would lash out at such a woman for this desire or thought, but yeah, some are that stupid and this would fit into the mental category and I can see why some would want to avoid posting it for public view. Since just because you find Dimensions does not mean you are magically cured of every issue you've ever had with your body and sometimes hearing "YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE" isn't enough.

As I previously said, ANYTHING that can help the women here out either mentally or physically when it comes to health, I am all for. Any other issue I had would just be selfish and not really thinking of the best interests of the women here whom we're supposed to be admiring.


----------



## Miss Vickie

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Okay, using my imagination. Let me see what sort of topic a BBW might feel uncomfortable discussing in front of a group of men who are into fat women.
> 
> "I want to lose weight or I've been thinking about it, but I am torn"
> 
> now, not every man here is a dumbass who would lash out at such a woman for this desire or thought, but yeah, some are that stupid and this would fit into the mental category and I can see why some would want to avoid posting it for public view. Since just because you find Dimensions does not mean you are magically cured of every issue you've ever had with your body and sometimes hearing "YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE" isn't enough.
> 
> As I previously said, ANYTHING that can help the women here out either mentally or physically when it comes to health, I am all for. Any other issue I had would just be selfish and not really thinking of the best interests of the women here whom we're supposed to be admiring.



Thank you for understanding. And while your example is a good one, there are far far far more intimate and personal issues that the women would want to discuss privately. But I appreciate you trying to see what it is that some of the women here want. A little bit of empathy goes a looong way. Thanks, BGB.  :wubu: You're golden in my book, FWIW.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

Miss Vickie said:


> Thank you for understanding. And while your example is a good one, there are far far far more intimate and personal issues that the women would want to discuss privately. But I appreciate you trying to see what it is that some of the women here want. A little bit of empathy goes a looong way. Thanks, BGB.  :wubu: You're golden in my book, FWIW.



Oh definitely, I just figured THOSE would be best left to .. a more private location. 

and thank you for the compliment, I don't want it to seem like I am kissing up either, but I really really don't understand the objection to this.


----------



## mossystate

I'm thinking that if a guy says that fat is only good for women and not men...that kind of says it all...to me, as to why he wants to be an observer.


----------



## BeaBea

Hi, 

As a sidebar - Kayrae, can I just mention how impressed I am with your patience and persistence in trying to move this issue forward and to keep this thread on track? I know the thread has wandered a bit from time to time like they all do but your politeness in the face of some stupid/repetitive/fatuous arguments is something I sincerely wish I could emulate :bow: 

Tracey xx


----------



## mergirl

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Okay, using my imagination. Let me see what sort of topic a BBW might feel uncomfortable discussing in front of a group of men who are into fat women.
> 
> "I want to lose weight or I've been thinking about it, but I am torn"
> 
> now, not every man here is a dumbass who would lash out at such a woman for this desire or thought, but yeah, some are that stupid and this would fit into the mental category and I can see why some would want to avoid posting it for public view. Since just because you find Dimensions does not mean you are magically cured of every issue you've ever had with your body and sometimes hearing "YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE" isn't enough.
> 
> As I previously said, ANYTHING that can help the women here out either mentally or physically when it comes to health, I am all for. Any other issue I had would just be selfish and not really thinking of the best interests of the women here whom we're supposed to be admiring.


i was thinking more of questions like. Do you think its fair that your girlfriend shouted at you cause you left your periody knickers in a measuring jug to soak?.. Actually maby thats more a question for the lgbt board.  Or the fat sexuality board, if periody pants are yer kinna thing.


----------



## mergirl

Miss Vickie said:


> As I understand it, non-SSBBW cannot join that board. It's only for SSBBW's, and I have no idea really how it came about or if there's a lower weight limit or whatever. Good question about the private BBW forum and who would be able to join. I'm not sure.
> 
> I don't think you're being awkward. I think you're asking good questions, things we should think about. Hell, since I'm a size 14, they may not even let me in.


oh i hope they do let you in! I'm about a 16/18. Though thats UK sizes, so we might actually be about the same.. I say the bbw board should start at a size 14!!  but then i would like people like cors to come too.. so maby a size 8. lol


----------



## chicken legs

wow i didn't know there was a private board


----------



## Cors

mergirl said:


> oh i hope they do let you in! I'm about a 16/18. Though thats UK sizes, so we might actually be about the same.. I say the bbw board should start at a size 14!!  but then i would like people like cors to come too.. so maby a size 8. lol



Aww. I would love to have a place to discuss girly issues, but only if the BBWs are comfortable because it is supposed to be their safe space.


----------



## vardon_grip

kayrae said:


> I don't see why you think a private forum for women to discuss private health issues should be fee-based when the current paysite board doesn't have that restriction. That's some bullshit sexist double-standard, vardon_grip. If your concern is generating money, that's some big-time money-making idea right there. Think about that one for awhile. Then come back and tell me another awesome idea.



A fee based forum already exists with the clubhouse so there is nothing sexist about my suggestion and no double standard. There are added perks to being a clubhouse member that the regular joes don't get and I suggested the same for new private boards. The paysite board isn't a private board as you are suggesting. So again, no double standard. I didn't come up with the idea of donating to Dimensions to help defray the costs of running the site, I think the webmaster or others are the ones to thank for that. There is no need to vent your anger at me. I didn't post as an attack against you. I think there is nothing wrong with the suggestion of helping out if you want something in return.


----------



## NoWayOut

kayrae said:


> NoWayOut, perhaps you haven't read the posts here at all because "uncomfortable" has been cited plenty of times. This argument will continue to become circuitous if those of you who don't support this board continue to ignore the repeated reasoning why the idea for this board was brought up in the first place: Women want a "private" place to discuss uncomfortable mental and physical health issues. This board will not be a place to talk about anything unrelated to health issues. It is a forum for women who are too uncomfortable to post in the current open health board.



Pot, meet kettle on the reading thing. I wasn't talking to you at all about what you said. I know you've made your position clear, and I said that I respected it. I don't need any links or anything. That was intended for one poster only.


----------



## Miss Vickie

NoWayOut said:


> Pot, meet kettle on the reading thing. I wasn't talking to you at all about what you said. I know you've made your position clear, and I said that I respected it. I don't need any links or anything. That was intended for one poster only.



Is that me you're talking about? Don't be so cowardly. Be brave. I promise, it won't hurt. Much.


----------



## Miss Vickie

For NoWayOut,

These are my posts on this topic. I can see why you'd be confused about my intent. I mean, I'm just so damn coy when it comes to expressing what it is I want. 

For your edification:



Miss Vickie said:


> *chuckle* You too? As much as I share, there's way more that I don't because I don't want it open for public consumption. Which is why I think the idea of a women's only private board (and I don't even care whether it's populated with big, small, medium women as long as it's just women) is a good idea. There is a lot that, for good reason, we don't want to share publicly.
> 
> 
> 
> Aw, thank you. :blush: I'd love to join, if such a group would have me. Thank you for thinking of me.
> 
> 
> 
> Yes. And I've been so hurt and turned off by what happened with the WLS board that I haven't posted anything about my health, because I feel like it's going to be picked apart. I would definitely appreciate a private space to share, and to help others if my knowledge and experience can be used in that way. (BTW, that boil problem? Did you try using a mirror to look at it?)
> 
> 
> 
> I agree. It hurts no one to have a private board to discuss private things. No one is asking to create a zillion different board, but having a board to discuss private, potentially embarrassing issues seems really reasonable to me.
> 
> 
> 
> So true. And a board like that would really meet that need.
> 
> 
> 
> I think that a private health board for women, open to all women, would be great. That way we can use the public health board for less... intimate... issues.





Miss Vickie said:


> Yup. That's my concern as well, the lurkers.
> 
> 
> 
> Sounds to me like the answers is a resounding "yes!"
> 
> I'd like to add something in response to a question posed earlier. Forgive me if I'm not clear but I got back from a vacation/school trip late last night so I'm more than a little fried. But anyway, in terms of what would happen to the Health Board, this is a reasonable question. As someone who posts pretty regularly to it, and who begged for it to be created for years, obviously I don't want it to go the way of the dodo. But I think that there are enough non-intimate questions to be discussed there that it shouldn't be gutted by the creation of a private space. Most of us don't mind talking about our blood pressure, diabetes, etc etc etc in public. It's the more private issues, the potentially embarrassing ones, that we want to discuss in private.
> 
> That's what I think, anyway.





Miss Vickie said:


> As I understand it, it's a private space to discuss the personal, potentially embarrassing issues that fat women face. Stuff we wouldn't feel comfortable discussing publicly. You know, "girlie stuff".





Miss Vickie said:


> As I understand it, non-SSBBW cannot join that board. It's only for SSBBW's, and I have no idea really how it came about or if there's a lower weight limit or whatever. Good question about the private BBW forum and who would be able to join. I'm not sure.
> 
> I don't think you're being awkward. I think you're asking good questions, things we should think about. Hell, since I'm a size 14, they may not even let me in.





Miss Vickie said:


> Thank you for understanding. And while your example is a good one, there are far far far more intimate and personal issues that the women would want to discuss privately. But I appreciate you trying to see what it is that some of the women here want. A little bit of empathy goes a looong way. Thanks, BGB.  :wubu: You're golden in my book, FWIW.


----------



## NoWayOut

Miss Vickie said:


> Are you volunteering to take on the job of moderating the thousands of posts that this would likely create? And what about the women who are hurt by the presence of the trollish behavior, before those posts are deleted? Obviously you can't relate to the hurt that the women here are expressing. That's okay. But at least stay out of the way while they try to create a space that will work for them. How does it hurt you, _personally_, if there is a private board where women discuss private health issues? Are you afraid you'll miss out on something?
> 
> Thousands of posts is an exaggeration, and you know it. Anyway, if I spent enough time on this board that I could be a moderator, sure, I could give it a shot. It doesn't hurt me if the board's private, but like you said, right now, I can't relate to your problems. But I'd like to be able to come closer to it.
> 
> Obviously we have a different definition of what "wank fodder" is.
> 
> Obviously
> 
> You don't know what it is I want and I think it's silly of you to pretend that you do, particularly since you've misread much of what I, and others, have written. I've been posting on the internet since I suspect you were in your footie pajamas, and so I know what happens when women post their very private, very personal, very embarrassing difficulties online for all the world to see. It often ends up stolen and placed on fat hating sites, to the ultimate humiliation of the women in question. Is this what you want for the women here? I'm beginning to think that maybe it is.
> 
> And it's not silly for you? If I'm making an assumption, so are you. If that's what I wanted, I wouldn't be on this board. I would have much better things to do with my life than fake who I am. You are correct in that I did not know that it ends up on another site, and I do have a better understanding of your position. That could be remedied somewhat by restricting viewing privileges to those with a certain number of posts, but that isn't foolproof. For that, I understand your position.
> 
> On the other side of the coin, that's pretty impressive that you've apparently been posting on the Internet since before the Internet even existed. Cheap shot on my part, but that age thing was a ridiculous accusation.
> 
> You have a lotta damn gall calling me a coward, and I suspect you wouldn't have the balls to make such an accusation to my face, so who's the coward? Yours is neither "simple", nor a "solution" to the discomfort that has been expressed here, as Kayrae has outlined, over and over again. The only solution is to provide for the non SSBBW here what the SSBBW women here have -- a private space to discuss private matters. It's really quite simple, and I still don't understand why anyone would take exception to it, unless they have a prurient interest in the goings on in such a forum.
> 
> I want something that works for the women here who are in pain, not the FA's who may potentially get off on their difficulties, or the trolls who will laugh at them. Not being fat myself anymore, it doesn't really benefit me to have such a site; I've already been pretty much muzzled from talking about my WLS because it's perceived by a vocal few as being "cheerleading" and so I have found other places to discuss my issues. However, as it relates this idea, I _have_ been fat, and a woman, (have you?) and so I understand the need to have a private space to discuss private issues that are embarrassing when discussed publicly.
> 
> Is that really so truly awful and wrong?



I was not attempting to get off on difficulties, I was trying to get a better understanding of them. With the information in the posts, yes, it appeared that you were being a coward, and yes, I would have said it to your face if that was what I thought. Since you've explained your position, I recognize I was wrong there. But before something's explained, I can only go on the information provided.



Miss Vickie said:


> Is that me you're talking about? Don't be so cowardly. Be brave. I promise, it won't hurt. Much.



It takes time to type out a longer response. I didn't feel like multitasking.


----------



## Sandie S-R

NoWayOut said:


> I was not attempting to get off on difficulties, I was trying to get a better understanding of them. With the information in the posts, yes, it appeared that you were being a coward, and yes, I would have said it to your face if that was what I thought. Since you've explained your position, I recognize I was wrong there. But before something's explained, I can only go on the information provided.



Ok, I think we understand that you want a better understanding of our difficulties. 

But what you don't seem to understand is that you have no right to know about our personal intimate difficulties. It's really none of your business.


----------



## Miss Vickie

NoWayOut said:


> I was not attempting to get off on difficulties, I was trying to get a better understanding of them. With the information in the posts, yes, it appeared that you were being a coward, and yes, I would have said it to your face if that was what I thought. Since you've explained your position, I recognize I was wrong there. But before something's explained, I can only go on the information provided.



I haven't explained anything new, though, other than to cut and paste the same posts that were there to begin with. My position has been clear from the get-go. But you were too lazy/busy/whatever to read what I'd _actually_ written, but rather decided that you knew what I meant before taking the time to understand it. It was much easier to call me a coward (and if you'd called me one to my face, you'd have been a brave soul) than to ask what it was I wanted.

I'm a lot of things, but coy I am not. I have no incentive to be anything but crystal clear in my intent because it's an issue that is important to me. What possible reason would I have to play the kind of games you accuse me of? Believe it or not I don't have a lot of time to play around on the internet, and games are the last thing I engage in.

So next time, perhaps you should try reading what is written before going off half-cocked. You'll save yourself (and others) a lot of time.

And no, thousands of posts is not an exaggeration. I've talked to the moderators here and I know the sheer volumes of posts that they have to moderate, the numbers of people who create accounts only to post hateful, heinous bullshit to the men and women here. I've been a member at Dimensions since the old site, and I've seen it, I've seen people hurt by it, and I've noticed how we're so much more careful about not sharing personal stuff because of those negative experiences. I'd hope that had you seen the same things, you'd be a little more sensitive and empathetic about the need for private space.

Yeah I get that you'd learn from reading our experiences. But you know what? That's not why we share that stuff, in order to educate FA's. We share that stuff to support each other and find solutions to some of the less thrilling aspects of being a fat woman.


----------



## Tania

vardon_grip said:


> A fee based forum already exists with the clubhouse so there is nothing sexist about my suggestion and no double standard. There are added perks to being a clubhouse member that the regular joes don't get and I suggested the same for new private boards. The paysite board isn't a private board as you are suggesting. So again, no double standard. I didn't come up with the idea of donating to Dimensions to help defray the costs of running the site, I think the webmaster or others are the ones to thank for that. There is no need to vent your anger at me. I didn't post as an attack against you. I think there is nothing wrong with the suggestion of helping out if you want something in return.



As a fat woman, I find the assumptions that undergird this point of view extremely disturbing. 

Why should a tool intended to help promote female fat self-acceptance on its most basic, core level be automatically dismissed out of hand as some sort of frivolous toy or inconsequential "perk" for a marginal special interest? Why should such a relevant idea be trivialized as a pay-based frill on a site that purports to be seriously dedicated to size acceptance and the physical and mental well-being of fat women in particular? 

Kresta's point is valid. It seems kinda back-asswards that fat women should pay a "gimme penalty" to have legitimate, constructive discussions that contribute to the overall stature of the community, while the boys' mindless fap fodder is absolutely free and easy to find. Elsewhere on the internet, it's the erotica that would be ghettoized and vice-taxed to protect and fund the larger community - for logical financial reasons, among others. If members "wanting something in return" from the community is really a burden on Dimensions, then perhaps the overwhelming numbers of nonposting, non-contributing, anonymous visitors to the paysite and weight board nakey picture threads oughta be tapped for mandatory contributions, too. Goose, gander, sauce, and all that. 

Otherwise, what's the message? *Are* fat women a marginal special interest at Dims? How much do they have to "give" in order to earn the right to SIMPLY ASK for a space to fully explore, understand, and accept their fatness here? Haven't they already given enough by showing up and participating? By legitimizing the existence of the community by BEING here?


----------



## chicken legs

good point Tania:bow:


----------



## FaxMachine1234

Tania said:


> As a fat woman, I find the assumptions that undergird this point of view extremely disturbing.
> 
> Why should a tool intended to help promote female fat self-acceptance on its most basic, core level be automatically dismissed out of hand as some sort of frivolous toy or inconsequential "perk" for a marginal special interest? Why should such a relevant idea be trivialized as a pay-based frill on a site that purports to be seriously dedicated to size acceptance and the physical and mental well-being of fat women in particular?
> 
> Kresta's point is valid. It seems kinda back-asswards that fat women should pay a "gimme penalty" to have legitimate, constructive discussions that contribute to the overall stature of the community, while the boys' mindless fap fodder is absolutely free and easy to find. Elsewhere on the internet, it's the erotica that would be ghettoized and vice-taxed to protect and fund the larger community - for logical financial reasons, among others. If members "wanting something in return" from the community is really a burden on Dimensions, then perhaps the overwhelming numbers of nonposting, non-contributing, anonymous visitors to the paysite and weight board nakey picture threads oughta be tapped for mandatory contributions, too. Goose, gander, sauce, and all that.
> 
> Otherwise, what's the message? *Are* fat women a marginal special interest at Dims? How much do they have to "give" in order to earn the right to SIMPLY ASK for a space to fully explore, understand, and accept their fatness here? Haven't they already given enough by showing up and participating? By legitimizing the existence of the community by BEING here?



Though I'm not backing vardon_grip's idea, I'm a little uneasy with your assertion that this board wouldn't be legitimate without fat women here; it'd definitely gut the core experience if there were only FAs here, certainly, but there'd still be plenty to talk about...like, say, the many BBWs that exist in the world yet do not post here. I believe that represents significant amount of people.

And I do think the Clubhouse opened up a whole can of worms. If we're in need of money, why _don't_ we charge money for the both the new FA and BBW boards (if they're approved, that is)? It'd weed out the lurkers, yes, but the trolls wouldn't get in. If Dimensions is gonna be asking for money, then they might as well go all out.


----------



## vardon_grip

Tania said:


> As a fat woman, I find the assumptions that undergird this point of view extremely disturbing.
> 
> Why should a tool intended to help promote female fat self-acceptance on its most basic, core level be automatically dismissed out of hand as some sort of frivolous toy or inconsequential "perk" for a marginal special interest? Why should such a relevant idea be trivialized as a pay-based frill on a site that purports to be seriously dedicated to size acceptance and the physical and mental well-being of fat women in particular?
> 
> Kresta's point is valid. It seems kinda back-asswards that fat women should pay a "gimme penalty" to have legitimate, constructive discussions that contribute to the overall stature of the community, while the boys' mindless fap fodder is absolutely free and easy to find. Elsewhere on the internet, it's the erotica that would be ghettoized and vice-taxed to protect and fund the larger community - for logical financial reasons, among others. If members "wanting something in return" from the community is really a burden on Dimensions, then perhaps the overwhelming numbers of nonposting, non-contributing, anonymous visitors to the paysite and weight board nakey picture threads oughta be tapped for mandatory contributions, too. Goose, gander, sauce, and all that.
> 
> Otherwise, what's the message? *Are* fat women a marginal special interest at Dims? How much do they have to "give" in order to earn the right to SIMPLY ASK for a space to fully explore, understand, and accept their fatness here? Haven't they already given enough by showing up and participating? By legitimizing the existence of the community by BEING here?



If I asked for someone to do me a favor that cost them lots of effort in time or money, I would thank them and try to reimburse them in kind.
If someone offered me tickets to a show that they couldn't use, I would offer them money for it.
If some people at work bought some pizza and offered me some and I ate a good amount, I would ask if I could help with the cost.
If someone goes above and beyond for me, I try to return the favor. I would feel that it was selfish of me to not offer something in return. I also know that if something is really important to me, something that I was lobbying really hard for, I wouldn't be so against paying for it. (Like maybe, $2.50/month. Less than a large cup of Starbuck's coffee)

If the idea doesn't fly, I won't be disappointed. (Or elated if it does.) 

I just suggested to make new private boards (for whatever reason or group you want) to be fee based. I don't make a gender distinction. There is no hidden agenda or evil in that suggestion. It isn't a "penalty" to charge/pay for something extra. You could look at it as a reward. This isn't about any needs being denied. There is nothing being dismissed as frivolous by me. 
If you don't like the idea...fine! Say "I don't like the idea" and leave it at that. Don't make my suggestion into something it isn't.

There are no "disturbing assumptions" attached to my idea. I make no assumptions on the need or validity of having any type of private board. Any assumption is of your own making. I don't oppose the creation of new boards or private areas. That is completely at the discretion of the owner of this site. If you want to suggest that the paysite board be private and/or fee based, you are welcome to do so, (I think that it is not a bad idea) but don't use that as an argument to something I DIDN'T say. I never made any type of argument for/against your goose or gander. 

As I've said twice before, the precedent of a fee based private forum has already been set with the existence of the clubhouse. Members receive perks that are set by the owner for their donations. I don't make a judgement on the members in it nor the relevance of the clubhouse. 

I don't know what is or isn't a "burden" for Dimensions and the owner. I won't make that judgement for someone I don't know and about what it takes to run this site. I do know that it isn't a sin to suggest donations for the site to keep it running. For with out Dimensions, the discussion of private and public boards to post on won't exist.


----------



## mossystate

Every person who gets something from Dimensions...and wants to donate/chip in for the pizza...can.

See the Donate ^^^^^. 

And, the Clubhouse does not have anything to do with the core of what Dimensions says it's about. Not the same thing...at all.


----------



## FreeThinker

Since these things keep coming up:


*Privacy:* Essential. Such a board is pointless without privacy.


*Fees:* Absolutely not. The Clubhouse is optional. Having physical or mental health issues is not.



How is it that these basic concepts are not grasped?

Are there actually some males out here that refuse to accept ideas just because they are put forward by a woman?

Fine.

Here's a man saying the same damn thing.



_Understand?_


----------



## kayrae

Ok, Angel, I'm attempting to answer this one. Once again, please be patient with me. You've asked some really good questions and it's a lot to think about all at once.



Angel said:


> Would the desired forum fall in line with what the purpose of Dimensions is? Can the existing forums not be utilized to meet your desires or needs? If not, why?



I am citing the FAQ, which states that DIMS "was created to be a newsletter and then magazine for those who love fat women, as well as a size-positive community and forum for fat people and their admirers." With that said, DIMS already have an existing health board AND a private SSBBW board. I do think that asking for a private women's forum or a private BBW forum falls in line with the purpose of Dimensions. The existing health board cannot meet all the needs of the women here and that's been continuously explained throughout this thread, which is the lack of privacy.

Conrad was willing to create a private SSBBW board. I don't see why he wouldn't also see why a private women's board is also needed, especially if the proposal I do end up creating is reasonable. And I do realize that there aren't enough mods.

If Conrad asked me to be a mod, I would gladly volunteer my time. I have already volunteered to moderate the fashion board as well as the marketplace board. He hasn't accepted and I'm not going to push for it if there are already enough mods for those boards.


----------



## William

Hi Mer

I think the private boards should be based on gender (female) not size and if *size and gender* is the bases for having a private board around here then no one else aside from Fat Women should have a private Board.

It would also negate and dismiss the experiences of all other groups people in Fat Acceptance, but that is not unusual.

I would say that the community in Fat Acceptance that most needs a private board would be the WLS Community.

William









mergirl said:


> oh i hope they do let you in! I'm about a 16/18. Though thats UK sizes, so we might actually be about the same.. I say the bbw board should start at a size 14!!  but then i would like people like cors to come too.. so maby a size 8. lol


----------



## mergirl

William said:


> Hi Mer
> 
> I think the private boards should be based on gender (female) not size and if *size and gender* is the bases for having a private board around here then no one else aside from Fat Women should have a private Board.
> 
> It would also negate and dismiss the experiences of all other groups people in Fat Acceptance, but that is not unusual.
> 
> I would say that the community in Fat Acceptance that most needs a private board would be the WLS Community.
> 
> William


I actually agree with you about the private wls forum. I find it weird that the women who have had wls and those who are considering it cant talk about it openly. It might not be a part of everybodys 'fat experience' but it is certainly part of some peoples experience. Whether or not people agree with the procedure it is happening without their permission and i think that the people who have felt that it was their only option should have a place to discuss this. I know people have said, why not just go somewhere else to talk about it..Well a lot of people have friends here and feel supported and would like to discuss their experiences with those that they know, instead of being shunned and told to look for somewhere else to talk. I dont get the whole 'cheerleading' argument either. I really dont think people are so impressionable that someone talking about successful wls would make anyone be more eager to have it done, for a number of reasons. Also, there are a lot of anti wls posts here.. you would think that would balance up the 'cheerleading'. 
To be honest, i'm all for any forum that would genuinly help people and would offer them support they dont feel they have now and i can see aspects of that in the Fa/BBW/Women's board proposals.. but now you mention it ..a wls private forum too. Has this actually been proposed though?.


----------



## mergirl

I think i overused the word 'people' there.. i was trying to be gender unspecific and it ruined my flow!


----------



## SamanthaNY

There's no point in making the WLS board private. In fact, it goes against the idea behind it. 

Conrad does not want supportive WLS talk, period. Plus, he *does* want a place where people can be negative about it. So that board must stay open, and restricted in what appears there. 

I can't believe people have come up with yet ANOTHER new board idea. What's this... five that are being talked about now? At some point it gets to be ridiculous.

ETA: I'm not saying these boards _all _aren't appropriate, or that people don't want them, or deserve them, or any of that. I'm just bemoaning the fact that it's been nonstop talk for what seems like weeks now - and every day, another new board is suggested.


----------



## mergirl

SamanthaNY said:


> There's no point in making the WLS board private. In fact, it goes against the idea behind it.
> 
> Conrad does not want supportive WLS talk, period. Plus, he *does* want a place where people can be negative about it. So that board must stay open, and restricted in what appears there.
> 
> I can't believe people have come up with yet ANOTHER new board idea. What's this... five that are being talked about now? At some point it gets to be ridiculous.


Well maby not private..but open and a place where posts dont get deleted because they are deemed as 'cheerleading'. If you havn't had wls or havn't considered it it would be difficult to see the point of having such a discussion board, though women who have, have had to go elsewhere to discuss their feelings.. i think thats a shame.


----------



## SamanthaNY

mergirl said:


> Well maby not private..but open and a place where posts dont get deleted because they are deemed as 'cheerleading'. If you havn't had wls or havn't considered it it would be difficult to see the point of having such a discussion board, though women who have, have had to go elsewhere to discuss their feelings.. i think thats a shame.


We _tried _to get the WLS board to be more even-keeled, the request was denied. That's it. It's done. That board isn't changing. The discussion (and I use the term lightly) was very heated and very uncomfortable, and I really can't understand the point of trying to dredge that discussion up again. Does anyone actually think Conrad wasn't serious when he told us to go elsewhere? 

I think people are getting somewhat addicted to the idea that they can turn Dim into anything they want. It's nice to give input into improving the site and offering more to the members, but... when there's half a dozen discussions about changing this, and moving that.... are people aware that the site_ isn't_ *ours* to design? Instead of trying to build additions onto a house that is pretty comfortable, can't we just enjoy it for what it is, instead of always drawing up plans for hypothetical new construction? Especially when we don't own the house to begin with.

Again, these sentiments aren't directed toward any one particular person or persons asking for a new board. You're all very thoughtful and passionate... it's just that there's so many at once.


----------



## mergirl

SamanthaNY said:


> We _tried _to get the WLS board to be more even-keeled, the request was denied. That's it. It's done. That board isn't changing. The discussion (and I use the term lightly) was very heated and very uncomfortable, and I really can't understand the point of trying to dredge that discussion up again. Does anyone actually think Conrad wasn't serious when he told us to go elsewhere?
> 
> I think people are getting somewhat addicted to the idea that they can turn Dim into anything they want. It's nice to give input into improving the site and offering more to the members, but... when there's half a dozen discussions about changing this, and moving that.... are people aware that the site_ isn't_ *ours* to design? Instead of trying to build additions onto a house that is pretty comfortable, can't we just enjoy it for what it is, instead of always drawing up plans for hypothetical new construction? Especially when we don't own the house to begin with.
> 
> Again, these sentiments aren't directed toward any one particular person or persons asking for a new board. You're all very thoughtful and passionate... it's just that there's so many at once.


I didnt know this was tried and denied. I didnt even know there was a discussion about it. Fair enough. 
I dont think anyone is under the illusion they can change dims, they are just asking for what they would like to see added and their reasons for that. Whether their ideas come to fruition or not is obviously not up to them but 'if you dont ask, you dont get'. 
As for my oppinions on the wls board, they were in reply to William. To be honest it wasnt something i had thought about before then but when i did actually think about it, i thought that he had a point. If it has been discussed before then i missed that particular thread.


----------



## SamanthaNY

mergirl said:


> I didnt know this was tried and denied. I didnt even know there was a discussion about it. Fair enough. If it has been discussed before then i missed that particular thread.



Perhaps you've forgotten, but you have six posts in that thread. A lot goes on here, so 2 months ago can seem like 2 years ago. 

In any case - it's done. Personally, I hope it stays that way.


----------



## mergirl

SamanthaNY said:


> Perhaps you've forgotten, but you have six posts in that thread. A lot goes on here, so 2 months ago can seem like 2 years ago.
> 
> In any case - it's done. Personally, I hope it stays that way.


I do? I totally cant remember a private wls site ever being discussed!? seriously! The link there just says 'no matches found'..
Maby i need to go have a brain scan because i have NO memory whatsoever of this!! Are you sure I posted 6 posts???


----------



## SamanthaNY

mergirl said:


> I do? I totally cant remember a private wls site ever being discussed!? seriously! The link there just says 'no matches found'..
> Maby i need to go have a brain scan because i have NO memory whatsoever of this!! Are you sure I posted 6 posts???


That's odd, the link works for me. And no - it wasn't about the WLS board being private, it was that whole mess about the "new rules". 

Anyway - we should give kayrae her thread back, lol.


----------



## mergirl

right..i know what you mean now. The thred about the rules for the existing wls board. I saw one of my posts there anyway. WoW i can use the search thinggi! i had never tried that before! hmm cool!


----------



## mergirl

oops, lol we posted at the same time! 
yes indeed. kayrae.. back to your thred.. sorry.


----------



## JoyJoy

NoWayOut said:


> I was not attempting to get off on difficulties, I was trying to get a better understanding of them.



I think it's a bit ironic that a man who chooses to share nothing about himself in his profile, and from what I have seen, very limited info about himself in his posts, is pushing an agenda of wanting to view information that others have said they'd like to share privately. 

You have the option of putting whatever you want others to know in your public profile and posts, and then sharing more privately with whomever you choose. You have that control and the comfort level that comes with it. You obviously are not comfortable sharing much about yourself openly - and there is nothing wrong with being guarded. I'm surprised, though, since you do seem to be an extremely private person, that you'd miss the connection here. 

While obviously not exactly the same in concept, it is very similar to what is what is being asked for in this thread - a place to have the control and comfort of sharing sensitive personal information in an area that is less glaring than the public eye, with other women who have the same issues and experiences, and without having the feeling of being on public display (and yes, having people who had the ability to view without commenting would be "on display", kind of like being in a cage at the zoo. How appealing!).

I do understand how a man who genuinely loves fat women and wants to learn how to be a good partner to one would want to learn as much as possible how to do that. Part of that, though, is realizing that there are some things that women just don't want to discuss with a man unless they're in an intimate relationship, and sometimes not even then. That would be kind of like following your significant other into the bathroom just to watch and "learn", even if she didn't want you there. Or, to flip it around...what if some woman decided she wanted to know you better, just to learn how to better relate to her boyfriend, and asked for access to your private conversations? A little absurd, perhaps? Anything that women here are willing to share publicly is already available to you for your learning purposes...and there is quite a bit of "learning material" here already. Why expect or ask to be privy to more if the women have said they want it to be private?


----------



## mossystate

JoyJoy said:


> I think it's a bit ironic that a man who chooses to share nothing about himself in his profile, and from what I have seen, very limited info about himself in his posts, is pushing an agenda of wanting to view information that others have said they'd like to share privately.



Yes. This drives me batty. I pretty much gloss over any yapping from people who share very little about themselves, beyond, " gee, I like this ", and then go on to berate or demand. I don't need or want every person's life story, but don't come out here all puffed up, if you don't share anything close to what you want to see...or lecture.


----------



## Uriel

I voted the all of the above. I'm neither a BBW, nor even really a FFA. I suppose my Acronym of appropriateness would be BHM, though I'm more of a chubby guy... Aside, sorry.

I think a Forum just for the girls is a great idea, everyone needs somewhere to feel like they can vent things safely, without wither criticism from those who haven't been in their shoes, or those who just want a peek due to their Fetish/ desire to be involved with the BBWs.

Once again, my Vote is for a Girls Only Forum, or Thread, or whatever.


-Uriel


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

mergirl said:


> hmm what kinna topics could be discussed?
> You mean for a womans board or bbw board btw cause i'm getting mixed up at what is being asked for now!?





mergirl said:


> i was thinking more of questions like. Do you think its fair that your girlfriend shouted at you cause you left your periody knickers in a measuring jug to soak?.. Actually maby thats more a question for the lgbt board. Or the fat sexuality board, if periody pants are yer kinna thing.



Mergirl....I am only saying this once........

ef u don stopp sattin un tat fens then I goin 2 sind chikin armee to et u :doh: 




BothGunsBlazing said:


> Okay, using my imagination. Let me see what sort of topic a BBW might feel uncomfortable discussing in front of a group of men who are into fat women.
> 
> "I want to lose weight or I've been thinking about it, but I am torn"
> 
> now, not every man here is a dumbass who would lash out at such a woman for this desire or thought, but yeah, some are that stupid and this would fit into the mental category and I can see why some would want to avoid posting it for public view. Since just because you find Dimensions does not mean you are magically cured of every issue you've ever had with your body and sometimes hearing "YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE" isn't enough.
> 
> As I previously said, ANYTHING that can help the women here out either mentally or physically when it comes to health, I am all for. Any other issue I had would just be selfish and not really thinking of the best interests of the women here whom we're supposed to be admiring.



:wubu: 

You know, I thought of this very thing myself the other day. I made a joke in a thread for BBWs saying something along the lines "I want to be thin with a big ass like JLo". 
I said it as a joke....but had some guy PM me to "lecture" me about it......as in I had no right to say that.....

Then I had another guy PM me about some pics I posted.....and asked if I intentionally gained weight. When I said no, he went off on some angry diatribe about how I probably wanted to lose weight, blah blah blah when I hadn't even said anything along those lines. Holy cow......

Yeah, if I want to talk about my body in a SERIOUS way....it would definitely have to be in private. 



BeaBea said:


> Hi,
> 
> As a sidebar - Kayrae, can I just mention how impressed I am with your patience and persistence in trying to move this issue forward and to keep this thread on track? I know the thread has wandered a bit from time to time like they all do but your politeness in the face of some stupid/repetitive/fatuous arguments is something I sincerely wish I could emulate
> 
> Tracey xx



Isn't she great? I have been impressed with her, too, here recently :bow:

I get pissed off....so all I can mostly do is quote her and agree  




mergirl said:


> oh i hope they do let you in! I'm about a 16/18. Though thats UK sizes, so we might actually be about the same.. I say the bbw board should start at a size 14!! but then i would like people like cors to come too.. so maby a size 8. lol



I think it should be for all ladies.......just my two cents. However, some might feel differently......



Sandie S-R said:


> Ok, I think we understand that you want a better understanding of our difficulties.
> 
> But what you don't seem to understand is that you have no right to know about our personal intimate difficulties. It's really none of your business.



Yes...and it's the second time he has been told that in this thread. 



Tania said:


> As a fat woman, I find the assumptions that undergird this point of view extremely disturbing.
> 
> Why should a tool intended to help promote female fat self-acceptance on its most basic, core level be automatically dismissed out of hand as some sort of frivolous toy or inconsequential "perk" for a marginal special interest? Why should such a relevant idea be trivialized as a pay-based frill on a site that purports to be seriously dedicated to size acceptance and the physical and mental well-being of fat women in particular?
> 
> Kresta's point is valid. It seems kinda back-asswards that fat women should pay a "gimme penalty" to have legitimate, constructive discussions that contribute to the overall stature of the community, while the boys' mindless fap fodder is absolutely free and easy to find. Elsewhere on the internet, it's the erotica that would be ghettoized and vice-taxed to protect and fund the larger community - for logical financial reasons, among others. If members "wanting something in return" from the community is really a burden on Dimensions, then perhaps the overwhelming numbers of nonposting, non-contributing, anonymous visitors to the paysite and weight board nakey picture threads oughta be tapped for mandatory contributions, too. Goose, gander, sauce, and all that.
> 
> Otherwise, what's the message? *Are* fat women a marginal special interest at Dims? How much do they have to "give" in order to earn the right to SIMPLY ASK for a space to fully explore, understand, and accept their fatness here? Haven't they already given enough by showing up and participating? By legitimizing the existence of the community by BEING here?



You rock my world :bow:



Ekim said:


> Though I'm not backing vardon_grip's idea, *I'm a little uneasy with your assertion that this board wouldn't be legitimate without fat women here; it'd definitely gut the core experience if there were only FAs here, certainly, but there'd still be plenty to talk about...like, say, the many BBWs that exist in the world yet do not post here. *I believe that represents significant amount of people.
> 
> And I do think the Clubhouse opened up a whole can of worms. If we're in need of money, why _don't_ we charge money for the both the new FA and BBW boards (if they're approved, that is)? It'd weed out the lurkers, yes, but the trolls wouldn't get in. If Dimensions is gonna be asking for money, then they might as well go all out.



I don't know Ekim....are you saying that you DON'T want the ladies here? Do you REALLY think this place would be so full of FAs without us? Be honest.....  



FreeThinker said:


> Since these things keep coming up:
> 
> 
> *Privacy:* Essential. Such a board is pointless without privacy.
> 
> 
> *Fees:* Absolutely not. The Clubhouse is optional. Having physical or mental health issues is not.
> 
> 
> 
> How is it that these basic concepts are not grasped?
> 
> Are there actually some males out here that refuse to accept ideas just because they are put forward by a woman?
> 
> Fine.
> 
> Here's a man saying the same damn thing.
> 
> 
> 
> _Understand?_



You are my hero :wubu: :happy: :bow:


----------



## mergirl

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Mergirl....I am only saying this once........
> 
> ef u don stopp sattin un tat fens then I goin 2 sind chikin armee to et u :doh:
> 
> :




You know, i'm only sitting on the fence here cause i have no idea where to stand.
Should Dims have a women only board? I have no idea. Which is why i'm asking lots of questions about the why's n wheres n what nots. I would like to see how a board like that would work. If it was a smaller bbw board how would that work..??
Also..
Pls dont sent chikkin army to ate me.. i will ate them and then pee on turkee and ate you back, then yu wil pu me oot and i wil cry and be homeless!!:eat2:


----------



## Hole

I'm for letting the BBWs join in on the private part of the board for SSBBWs. 
That would balance things out. There's just too much division.


----------



## mergirl

Hole said:


> I'm for letting the BBWs join in on the private part of the board for SSBBWs.
> That would balance things out. There's just too much division.


Some of the ssbbws are against that for various reasons. I dont know about the opinions of them all. Think if another poll is conducted though i might have to jab my eyes out with a fork! lol


----------



## GoldenDelicious

mergirl said:


> Some of the ssbbws are against that for various reasons. I dont know about the opinions of them all. Think if another poll is conducted though i might have to jab my eyes out with a fork! lol


Me too, in fact I'm unsubscribing from this thread, bye bye


----------



## mergirl

GoldenDelicious said:


> Me too, in fact I'm unsubscribing from this thread, bye bye


Good. She's away. Now we can talk about her!!


----------



## NancyGirl74

This whole thing is really friggin' annoying!

Yes, lets lock all the BBWs in one room and all the FAs in another and the FFAs who are fat and the BHM who are also FAs can run back and forth at will. Then we'll all be cozy and safe in our little _CLOSETS_ (irony, anyone?) and neither group will be at risk of learning anything from the other. God forbid we risk getting our feeling hurt by someone who doesn't know the ins and outs of BBW/FA-dom. Lets keep all _those_ people out _there_ where they have to lurk at windows and peek at keyholes. 

Better yet let all _those_ people who don't "know" go to those other sites that have porn plastered all over the joint. Surely they can learn what it is to be an appreciated, admired and supported BBW there. And all the young ignorant FAs can learn what it is to be proud of their preference at a site where the first picture they see is a fat woman being fucked by a random penis with no face. 

Yes, lets keep out those we don't know or trust so we never have to risk getting our feelings hurt because the whole point of Size Acceptance is to hide all our thoughts and feelings away from others who will never understand and never learn. 

_Here's a clue...They will never understand and never learn if we are too busy stuffing ourselves into closets to teach them. _


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

I think we should all take it up with Xzibit and his new show.







Yo dawg, I heard you wanna discuss BBW health issues, so I put a BBW health forum INSIDE OF YOUR FORUM!


----------



## kayrae

I'm starting to believe that it is useless writing anything because no one bothers to even read the actual discussion. 

How is creating a private forum for women to discuss private mental and physical health issues about stuffing oneself in a closet? The goal is for women who are uncomfortable discussing their issues to have a "safe" place in which to do so. No one's locking anyone in a room. Participation in any of the threads in these new rooms aren't mandatory. 

If I want to talk about my vagina, how am I hurting anyone's feelings if I choose to exclude them from this conversation? What kind of advice will a man have to give about my vagina? I don't want to talk about my vagina around men. I don't want to post in the current open health board about my vagina. I'm not the only woman who isn't willing to do so. 

Of course there are other topics that can be discussed. And these topics have already been brought up. But if it's necessary, then I'll list it over and over and over and over again. What is wrong about creating a room that will be a beneficial resource to women who are uncomfortable discussing their private health concerns? How is this private room taking away from anyone's Dimensions experience?

I am creating a solution to a problem.


----------



## mergirl

Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina!!


----------



## kayrae

Hole said:


> I'm for letting the BBWs join in on the private part of the board for SSBBWs.
> That would balance things out. There's just too much division.



Hole, that option is not open for discussion. I specifically started this thread saying we need to respect SSBBWs wishes to have their own private place. I'll let BeaBea explain this one.




BeaBea said:


> I get what you are saying but you kind of need to trust those of us who are SS sized that there ARE real differences.
> 
> To try to explain a little, and hopefully in terms which wont offend anyone, I have a friend with Testicular Cancer who uses a Forum similar to this one to get support and to trade information (and some really funny but horribly un-PC jokes! Lol, but I digress).
> 
> There are lots of general boards about the illness, treatments regimes, the surgeries etc and there are specific locked boards for various ailments - but he spends most of his time reading and posting in the Testicular Cancer Board. *Not because the people reading and posting elsewhere aren't also suffering from the same disease, not because they wont have huge sympathy for his condition, not because he wants to be part of a secret club but because its only the people with that anatomy and those conditions that he feels comfortable enough to share his most private thoughts.* I know there is plenty of discussion on what the illness means to him as a man and to his masculinity and I'm certain that similar is true on the private boards where female related cancers are discussed. I suspect those issues dont come up nearly so often on boards where conditions which equally affect both sexes are discussed.
> 
> I hope that helps explain a little why I feel the private, female only, SSBBW only board is such a valuable resource? Obviously I dont equate anything to do with being BBW/SSBBW/FA as in any way similar to having cancer but it was the only way I could think of to explain my thoughts. Oh, and this was posted with his permission, and his treatment is going well.


----------



## Sandie S-R

Hole said:


> I'm for letting the BBWs join in on the private part of the board for SSBBWs.
> That would balance things out. There's just too much division.



Hole,

That is not an option, and will not happen.

The SSBBW Board stays exactly as it is - for SSBBWs only.

The SS Issues forum is NOT about division. It is about providing a very marginalized group of women a place that they can discuss some very personal and private matters without the prying eyes of those that may not understand. 

People need to stop bringing up the SSBBW forum, as it is not a part of this discussion (possible BBW/women's forum), and it's (SSBBW forum's) format was decided upon some time ago. 

/Moderator


----------



## Hole

OKay, sorry... I did read the thread, a lot of it actually. I just see more logic in bringing two groups of big women together instead of making yet another board because they're in a different size range. It's all too technical for my liking.

That's just me. (Stubborn maybe?)

So I will vote for the last option only because I don't want BBWs to be left out. I wub you girls!


----------



## AshleyEileen

BothGunsBlazing said:


> I think we should all take it up with Xzibit and his new show.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Yo dawg, I heard you wanna discuss BBW health issues, so I put a BBW health forum INSIDE OF YOUR FORUM!



This is the most amazing thing ever.


----------



## FaxMachine1234

Sandie S-R said:


> Hole,
> 
> That is not an option, and will not happen.
> 
> The SSBBW Board stays exactly as it is - for SSBBWs only.
> 
> The SS Issues forum is NOT about division. It is about providing a very marginalized group of women a place that they can discuss some very personal and private matters without the prying eyes of those that may not understand.
> 
> People need to stop bringing up the SSBBW forum, as it is not a part of this discussion (possible BBW/women's forum), and it's (SSBBW forum's) format was decided upon some time ago.
> 
> /Moderator



Well, if we can't change things around here, then what's the point of even having threads like these? If the format isn't satisfactory for the majority of posters i.e. the SSBBW board (and whether it is or not, I don't know), then it should change, either that or every other board that a minority of the population here requests should be added. It seems like a bit of a double-standard.


----------



## kayrae

Ekim, I'm going to kindly ask you to stop bringing up the SSBBW board. There is no double standard from Conrad or the DIMS mods. There has been no proposal, therefore there hasn't been a response. We (and I'm talking for the women who are supportive of having a women's only board/bbw board) are not asking to change the SSBBW board. 

Please stop de-railing the original intention of this thread. I am not trying to be an asshole here, but I'd like this to stay on-topic. Thanks in advance.


----------



## William

Hi Kayrae

This thread and the board that you do not want mentioned is a example of the entitlement of Fat Women when Fat Acceptance is mixed with Fat Admiration and what the rest of Fat Acceptance Community has to deal with.

When you take out the auto-erotica aspect of the conversation there is not even much need to separate the genders. They did it for years on the NAAFA mailing list and a few other places. 

William 




kayrae said:


> Ekim, I'm going to kindly ask you to stop bringing up the SSBBW board. There is no double standard from Conrad or the DIMS mods. There has been no proposal, therefore there hasn't been a response. We (and I'm talking for the women who are supportive of having a women's only board/bbw board) are not asking to change the SSBBW board.
> 
> Please stop de-railing the original intention of this thread. I am not trying to be an asshole here, but I'd like this to stay on-topic. Thanks in advance.


----------



## butch

Did you really just say 'entitlement,' William, when discussing the SSBBW forum? Come on, thats not true or fair, and you sound no different than the fat haters, who characterize the whole SA movement as being for and about middle aged, middle class fat white women. If that is what you really think, then start a thread about it, instead of dredging up more of your standard 'fat men are the bastard step children of SA' lines in Kayrae's thread.

I for one get tired of advocating for the rights of everyone, male and female, fat and thin, under the umbrella of SA, when people continue to heap hate on women like me. Look at the bash workshops being proposed at the Dims bash? Do you see BHM being left out? FAs? No, so why do you persist in claiming SA is all about fat women, and no one else?


----------



## SamanthaNY

William said:


> a example of the entitlement of Fat Women when Fat Acceptance is mixed with Fat Admiration and what the rest of Fat Acceptance Community has to deal with.



Not only is that WAY out of line on *this* thread - but you've got some nerve posting this crap. I for one, as a fat woman here, feel anything BUT entitled in this fa-centric world. How many times have we been reminded that Dim was started for FAs? 

If you want the sexual aspects taken out (how you're going to do that, I have no idea), then go ahead and use your monotonic insistence to chip away at that foundation. But don't you DARE continue saying that this community has to "deal" with women, when we're just struggling to find a place for ourselves in a group that largely focuses on how tight our clothes should be.


----------



## Blackjack

butch said:


> No, so why do you persist in claiming SA is all about fat women, and no one else?



Because he's got a persecution complex that has to come up in _every single thread_.


----------



## William

Hi Butch

I did not say the SSBBW Forum directly and I think that very large people do need a area for their topics, what goes on at The Learning Channel is a good example why it is needed, but this developing exclusive empathy for Fat Women lately is a symptom of the entitlement of Fat Admiration in Fat Acceptance. Every other group that has come into Fat Acceptance has had to fight their way in.

I am not saying that Size Acceptance is terrible, but if you sample the Fat Blogs you will see that there are even more Fat Women than Fat Men stating some of the same claims as me, their view point is from an even more hostile view of Fat Admiration.

Please do not make this out as if I am out to get Fat Women or something because they are 95% of who I associate with in Fat Acceptance. I am talking about what Fat Acceptance has become, Fat Women are too diverse a group to be singled out as the cause.

William





butch said:


> Did you really just say 'entitlement,' William, when discussing the SSBBW forum? Come on, thats not true or fair, and you sound no different than the fat haters, who characterize the whole SA movement as being for and about middle aged, middle class fat white women. If that is what you really think, then start a thread about it, instead of dredging up more of your standard 'fat men are the bastard step children of SA' lines in Kayrae's thread.
> 
> I for one get tired of advocating for the rights of everyone, male and female, fat and thin, under the umbrella of SA, when people continue to heap hate on women like me. Look at the bash workshops being proposed at the Dims bash? Do you see BHM being left out? FAs? No, so why do you persist in claiming SA is all about fat women, and no one else?


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Oh boy, this was enough for me to take William off of ignore so I can see how he stepped in it this time


----------



## BeaBea

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Oh boy, this was enough for me to take William off of ignore so I can see how he stepped in it this time



And exactly how shocked and surprised were you by what William posted I wonder...? And how long will it be before the siren call of the 'ignore' function overtakes you and peace is restored to Green Eyed Fairlyland...?

Tracey xx


----------



## NancyGirl74

kayrae said:


> I'm starting to believe that it is useless writing anything because no one bothers to even read the actual discussion.
> 
> How is creating a private forum for women to discuss private mental and physical health issues about stuffing oneself in a closet? The goal is for women who are uncomfortable discussing their issues to have a "safe" place in which to do so. No one's locking anyone in a room. Participation in any of the threads in these new rooms aren't mandatory.
> 
> If I want to talk about my vagina, how am I hurting anyone's feelings if I choose to exclude them from this conversation? What kind of advice will a man have to give about my vagina? I don't want to talk about my vagina around men. I don't want to post in the current open health board about my vagina. I'm not the only woman who isn't willing to do so.
> 
> Of course there are other topics that can be discussed. And these topics have already been brought up. But if it's necessary, then I'll list it over and over and over and over again. What is wrong about creating a room that will be a beneficial resource to women who are uncomfortable discussing their private health concerns? How is this private room taking away from anyone's Dimensions experience?
> 
> I am creating a solution to a problem.



Kayrae, I want to apologize for not clarifying that my post was aimed the many recent attempts by various sub-groups to have all these different private forums. I was not pointing a finger at the topic of a private BBW health board specifically. It is the idea of this community dividing and subdividing itself over and over again that I find frustrating. I feel that being a community (which is very much what Dims is to me) means trying to understand each other even when we piss each other off and we can't do that by hiding in 20 different private rooms.


----------



## William

Hi Tracey

Unless there is Troll activity, the ignore button is the same as the denial button, talk about me in the third person and I still will not place you on ignore, 99% of the time I will not even answer, but I felt that it should be pointed out that the ignore button most often means that someone is not willing to talk about a subject or contemplate another viewpoint.

William





BeaBea said:


> And exactly how shocked and surprised were you by what William posted I wonder...? And how long will it be before the siren call of the 'ignore' function overtakes you and peace is restored to Green Eyed Fairlyland...?
> 
> Tracey xx


----------



## NancyGirl74

William said:


> (snipped) I felt that it should be pointed out that the ignore button most often means that someone is not willing to talk about a subject or contemplate another viewpoint.
> 
> William



Not to help send this thread way off topic but I want to agree with you on this because what I think you have said holds true in many cases...just not all cases. The one and only time I put someone on ignore was not because I didn't want to contemplate another point of view. It was because I was sick to friggin' death of his/her constant whining about how no one gets his/her plight...no matter what the topic was. Sometimes you are just beyond over someone and in those cases "ignore" is a thing of beauty.


----------



## BeaBea

William said:


> it should be pointed out that the ignore button most often means that someone is not willing to talk about a subject or contemplate another viewpoint.



My contribution to this thread indicates that I'm willing to talk about this subject and to contemplate other viewpoints. I cant help wishing that you would bring something new to the thread instead of just seeing another chance to drag out your old soapbox and to give your personal agenda yet another airing.

I wont respond to you again here William, you're all too adept at diverting threads so they end up all about you instead of the issues at hand. 

Tracey


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

BeaBea said:


> And exactly how shocked and surprised were you by what William posted I wonder...? And how long will it be before the siren call of the 'ignore' function overtakes you and peace is restored to Green Eyed Fairlyland...?
> 
> Tracey xx



Indeed.....and as much as I am glad to realize that it's not only me that gets sick to death of the same shit thread after thread after thread hijack, it gets really old. And it's nice to know I am annoying someone by not giving them any attention. 

No worries Tracey...he's going right back on it now. 



NancyGirl74 said:


> Not to help send this thread way off topic but I want to agree with you on this because what I think you have said holds true in many cases...just not all cases. The one and only time I put someone on ignore was not because I didn't want to contemplate another point of view. It was because *I was sick to friggin' death of his/her constant whining about how no one gets his/her plight...no matter what the topic was. Sometimes you are just beyond over someone and in those cases "ignore" is a thing of beauty.*




Exactly. Also, I don't want to be that unpleasant, annoyed person fighting in every thread with someone I deem a self centered troll. Some people really just have NOTHING insightful, new or intelligent to add so why bother?


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

BeaBea said:


> My contribution to this thread indicates that I'm willing to talk about this subject and to contemplate other viewpoints. I cant help wishing that you would bring something new to the thread instead of just seeing another chance to drag out your old soapbox and to give your personal agenda yet another airing.
> 
> I wont respond to you again here William, *you're all too adept at diverting threads so they end up all about you instead of the issues at hand. *
> 
> Tracey



THANK YOU!!!! OMG, THANK YOU!!! :bow: :wubu: :kiss2:


----------



## SamanthaNY

BeaBea said:


> I cant help wishing that you would bring something new to the thread instead of just seeing another chance to drag out your old soapbox and to give your personal agenda yet another airing.
> 
> I wont respond to you again here William, you're all too adept at diverting threads so they end up all about you instead of the issues at hand.
> 
> Tracey


It should also be noted that despite what feels like SCORES of requests to do so - William flat refuses to start his own threads to address these issues that he feel are so all-consuming. Yet countless numbers of other threads have been interrupted, derailed and taken over by him. It becomes obvious that his agenda is not to speak out for change, but simply to *disrupt*. And *ANNOY*.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

SamanthaNY said:


> It should also be noted that despite what feels like SCORES of requests to do so - William flat refuses to start his own threads to address these issues that he feel are so all-consuming. Yet countless numbers of other threads have been interrupted, derailed and taken over by him. It becomes obvious that his agenda is not to speak out for change, but simply to *disrupt*.




Gawd, I have to THANK YOU TOO!!!!


I felt like I was going crazy reading his crap over and over....and knowing it has NOTHING to do with what he is on about....but just a need for attention.

The saddest part is that he DID NOT bother to make that thread.....but Fascinita has made a good one recently about what BHM and BBW have in common. She was very pleasant about it, not accusing anyone of anything and it's turning into a really good, open, honest, insightful discussion, IMO. I actually learned something from it.


----------



## FreeThinker

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Some people really just have NOTHING insightful, new or intelligent to add so why bother?



*For instance:*


"That's HOT!"


"Post pix plz thx"


"I'd hit that."


"You'd be even more beautiful with another 50 pounds."


You don't think you'd miss all these "appreciative"  comments when you're talking about stuff like not fitting into a bus seat, or being too heavy for the doctor's scale, or such, in a private forum?

Hey, if it's a "read-only" thread that men could view and not post on, you wouldn't have to see those remarks.

And guys wouldn't have to type one-handed.




Just in case anyone still didn't "get" why privacy would be required for such a board.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

FreeThinker said:


> *For instance:*
> 
> 
> "That's HOT!"
> 
> 
> "Post pix plz thx"
> 
> 
> "I'd hit that."
> 
> 
> "You'd be even more beautiful with another 50 pounds."
> 
> 
> You don't think you'd miss all these "appreciative"  comments when you're talking about stuff like not fitting into a bus seat, or being too heavy for the doctor's scale, or such, in a private forum?
> 
> Hey, if it's a "read-only" thread that men could view and not post on, you wouldn't have to see those remarks.
> 
> And guys wouldn't have to type one-handed.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Just in case anyone still didn't "get" why privacy would be required for such a board.



Actually, I think all those comments are more useful than going around and around in circles of self serving soap boxing. It's the individual and their intent that is annoying...and I only have one person on this whole board on ignore.


----------



## FreeThinker

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Actually, I think all those comments are more useful than going around and around in circles of self serving soap boxing.



I was just subverting the subversion of this thread, ruthless opportunist that I am.


----------



## Miss Vickie

William said:


> Hi Kayrae
> 
> This thread and the board that you do not want mentioned is a example of the entitlement of Fat Women when Fat Acceptance is mixed with Fat Admiration and what the rest of Fat Acceptance Community has to deal with.



And heeeeeeeere we go again.  Same song, different verse. No, wait. Actually it's the same verse. Ad nauseum. William, don't you ever get tired of being victimized? Why does the idea of fat women getting support (not at the expense of fat men, by the way) bother you so much? If you want an exclusive BHM site, then create one. But like it or not, fat women are here, and here to stay.



SamanthaNY said:


> Not only is that WAY out of line on *this* thread - but you've got some nerve posting this crap. I for one, as a fat woman here, feel anything BUT entitled in this fa-centric world. How many times have we been reminded that Dim was started for FAs?
> 
> If you want the sexual aspects taken out (how you're going to do that, I have no idea), then go ahead and use your monotonic insistence to chip away at that foundation. But don't you DARE continue saying that this community has to "deal" with women, when we're just struggling to find a place for ourselves in a group that largely focuses on how tight our clothes should be.



Yes. And what butch said -- yes to that, too. William, you have no idea what it's like to be a fat woman, so don't even pretend that you do. Yes, we're pleased as peach pie that there are guys who get their yaya's by our chub, but we're more than that. Much more. And times like this, when our "moreness" comes to light, there are always naysayers who say we shouldn't have it.



William said:


> Hi Butch
> 
> I did not say the SSBBW Forum directly [snip]



I call bullshit. No, you didn't mention the SSBBW Forum in so many words, but you were responding to a post about the forum, and even quoted that post in your reply. If you weren't talking about the SSBBW forum, what the hell were you talking about?



> [snip]...and I think that very large people do need a area for their topics, what goes on at The Learning Channel is a good example why it is needed, but *this developing exclusive empathy for Fat Women* lately is a symptom of the entitlement of Fat Admiration in Fat Acceptance.



What. The. Hell. "Developing"?? You've been fighting about the "exclusive empathy" for fat women for a decade, William. So don't say that it's something new because I know you've been posting about it since the old site. And even if there was empathy for fat women here, isn't that what this place is for??? And in no way is it "exclusive". I think we're pretty caring toward all the different groups of people who post here, the GBLQT forum is a clear indication of that. I think you seem to have a chip on your shoulder that you don't get the sympathy you feel you deserve. And hey, if you have particular issues that you want support with, you can feel free to start a thread -- just like the rest of us. It just means putting on your big boy panties and putting it out there. But this passive aggressive crap is tiresome. If you want something, just ask for it. But whining about the perceived benefits that fat women get doesn't help. Every single time we've asked you about what it is you DO want, you can't give us a straight answer. You tie up bandwidth and our time bitching about how badly fat men have it.... and for what? I don't even think it makes you feel better, truly I don't. It's a tough world out there, William. If you want something, you gotta ask for it.



> Please do not make this out as if I am out to get Fat Women or something because they are 95% of who I associate with in Fat Acceptance.



If you don't want people to think that you're attacking fat women, then maybe you should stop doing that. Hmmm. Food for thought.



NancyGirl74 said:


> Kayrae, I want to apologize for not clarifying that my post was aimed the many recent attempts by various sub-groups to have all these different private forums. I was not pointing a finger at the topic of a private BBW health board specifically. It is the idea of this community dividing and subdividing itself over and over again that I find frustrating. I feel that being a community (which is very much what Dims is to me) means trying to understand each other even when we piss each other off and we can't do that by hiding in 20 different private rooms.



Nancy, I appreciate this, and I think you make good points about chopping us up into sub-groups. At some point I think it will become too much and very likely some of those sub-forums will lose traffic. But having them there, for particular needs, is I think a good idea. I agree with you about community building, but I guess I just don't think that discussion about reproductive issues and truly embarrassing health problems will build a community. Or maybe, even if it does, it comes at a cost to the women whose problems need discussion. In my opinion, just knowing that their words can be used to humiliate them would (and I know already, it does) censor them from speaking their mind and subsequently getting support. That's why I think the forum would be useful to Dimensions. My hope is that women wouldn't hide behind the perceived privacy and never post on the main board, but rather use its more private nature to feel comfortable posting things they otherwise wouldn't.


----------



## Sandie S-R

Ekim said:


> Well, if we can't change things around here, then what's the point of even having threads like these? If the format isn't satisfactory for the majority of posters i.e. the SSBBW board (and whether it is or not, I don't know), then it should change, either that or every other board that a minority of the population here requests should be added. It seems like a bit of a double-standard.



The SSBBW board is more than just satisfactory for the women it serves, SSBBWs. It is serving a tremendous need. It is fine the way it is and is not going to be changed. Just because you do not understand or agree with the need, doesn't mean that it should or will be changed. 

/Moderator


----------



## mergirl

SamanthaNY said:


> It should also be noted that despite what feels like SCORES of requests to do so - William flat refuses to start his own threads to address these issues that he feel are so all-consuming. Yet countless numbers of other threads have been interrupted, derailed and taken over by him. It becomes obvious that his agenda is not to speak out for change, but simply to *disrupt*. And *ANNOY*.


What you said before "....monotonic insistence to chip away at that foundation." about his posts really summed it up. I hadn't been able to put my finger on it before and used to get confused about why i felt so drained by nothing with much power to it.. That was it exactly..I dont know if this is concious for him or subconcious, though i do think he does need to start his own thred discussing the issues he feels are anoying him.


----------



## William

Hi Samantha

I address the problem right at the source and unlike your post below I do not presume to know what the other party is thinking, I simply comment on what their statements communicate.

My most frequent statement about BBWs is that they receive terrible treatment from society and get more fat bias than fat men, some of the people that I comment on most frequent comments on the lives of BHM are far less supportive and barely express a need for BHM to be active in Fat Acceptance. 

William




SamanthaNY said:


> It should also be noted that despite what feels like SCORES of requests to do so - William flat refuses to start his own threads to address these issues that he feel are so all-consuming. Yet countless numbers of other threads have been interrupted, derailed and taken over by him. It becomes obvious that his agenda is not to speak out for change, but simply to *disrupt*. And *ANNOY*.


----------



## kayrae

William, no one here is saying that BHMs don't deserve their own space. If you want one, go to the BHM board and ask the men there if they want such a space, then work on writing your own proposal. 

Freethink has started a thread that you might be interested in: Marginalization Of BHMs Within The Size-Acceptance Community


----------



## Miss Vickie

kayrae said:


> William, no one here is saying that BHMs don't deserve their own space. If you want one, go to the BHM board and ask the men there if they want such a space, then work on writing your own proposal.
> 
> Freethink has started a thread that you might be interested in: Marginalization Of BHMs Within The Size-Acceptance Community



True. If you want your own space to discuss these issues, ask for it.

In the meantime I'm looking forward to seeing your contributions to the thread which is, after all, about what a tough time BHM's have within SA.


----------



## Mathias

William said:


> Hi Samantha
> 
> I address the problem right at the source and unlike your post below I do not presume to know what the other party is thinking, I simply comment on what their statements communicate.
> 
> My most frequent statement about BBWs is that they receive terrible treatment from society and get more fat bias than fat men, some of the people that I comment on most frequent comments on the lives of BHM are far less supportive and barely express a need for BHM to be active in Fat Acceptance.
> 
> William



What's wrong with the BHM section?


----------



## kayrae

Mathias said:


> What's wrong with the BHM section?



I'm going to kindly ask you to keep that conversation in this thread: Marginalization Of BHMs Within The Size-Acceptance Community. I would really appreciate this thread to stay on-topic. Thank you.


----------



## William

Hi 

Most of the time when someone is dismissing or minimizing BHMs and their life experiences as Fat People it is outside of the BHM/FFA Section. The BHM/FFA section has great support.

William






Mathias said:


> What's wrong with the BHM section?


----------



## Blackjack

William said:


> Hi
> 
> Most of the time when someone is dismissing or minimizing BHMs and their life experiences as Fat People it is outside of the BHM/FFA Section. The BHM/FFA section has great support.
> 
> William


To save her the trouble of typing it out again:



kayrae said:


> I'm going to kindly ask you to keep that conversation in this thread: Marginalization Of BHMs Within The Size-Acceptance Community. I would really appreciate this thread to stay on-topic. Thank you.


----------



## SamanthaNY

William said:


> Hi Samantha
> 
> I address the problem right at the source and unlike your post below I do not presume to know what the other party is thinking, I simply comment on what their statements communicate.
> 
> My most frequent statement about BBWs is that they receive terrible treatment from society and get more fat bias than fat men, some of the people that I comment on most frequent comments on the lives of BHM are far less supportive and barely express a need for BHM to be active in Fat Acceptance.
> 
> William


No. You 'address' nothing - there is no problem, but that which YOU create. 

I can't begin to imagine what you think - and trying to suss out that information has proved fruitless for all who have tried. What I have done, and what others have done, is to identify *not* your thoughts, but your actions - interruption, disruption, avoidance, and annoyance. You can deny it, but it's still laid bare for all to see. It is your truth. 

You show no concern the issues you speak of - that's more than apparent in the way you completely ignore opportunities to take the lead on bringing them out in the open. 

You'll just continue to interrupt other threads and other people. I wonder if you even realize that that's your compulsion.


----------



## kayrae

William, I am kindly asking you to talk about your fat man experience on this thread: Marginalization Of BHMs Within The Size-Acceptance Community

I am not "dismissing or minimizing BHMs and their life experiences as Fat People." I am however very much interested in keeping this discussion on-track.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

He will keep posting....over and over and over....saying the same exact thing...if you give him attention. 

*Does the Hokey-Pokey and watches it go around and around.....because THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT!*


----------



## William

Hi Kayrae

I never saw any need for BHMs to be brought into this thread in the first place. Good luck keeping this on track.

William




kayrae said:


> William, I am kindly asking you to talk about your fat man experience on this thread: Marginalization Of BHMs Within The Size-Acceptance Community
> 
> I am not "dismissing or minimizing BHMs and their life experiences as Fat People." I am however very much interested in keeping this discussion on-track.


----------



## BeaBea

:doh::doh::doh:


----------



## Miss Vickie

*chuckles about the predictability of it all*

Okay, so anyway, about this BBW forum. Assuming it were ever to come to pass, how do you see it being limited? Only to BBW? Only to long time posters? Who would decide who gets in?

Maybe we should start talking about the nuts and bolts of the thing, lest we get pulled off topic.


----------



## FaxMachine1234

kayrae said:


> Ekim, I'm going to kindly ask you to stop bringing up the SSBBW board. There is no double standard from Conrad or the DIMS mods. There has been no proposal, therefore there hasn't been a response. We (and I'm talking for the women who are supportive of having a women's only board/bbw board) are not asking to change the SSBBW board.
> 
> Please stop de-railing the original intention of this thread. I am not trying to be an asshole here, but I'd like this to stay on-topic. Thanks in advance.



Well, I was trying to look at this from an objective viewpoint, since I personally wouldn't receive any benefits from the results of this discussion anyway...


----------



## kayrae

Miss Vickie, thank you so much for bringing up this particular topic. It's the one that's hardest to figure out. Personally I'd like to see this board limited to all females (BBWs, SSBBWs, and FFAs only). I think it's reasonable to expect this board to be limited to long-time posters *at first*. With that said, how would we define "long time poster"? 

As for this question: Who will decide who gets in? I'm gonna have to trust Conrad and the existing mods' discretion. But this is such a huge undertaking, I'm at a loss as to how to move forward with something like that.

What are your thoughts?




Miss Vickie said:


> *chuckles about the predictability of it all*
> 
> Okay, so anyway, about this BBW forum. Assuming it were ever to come to pass, how do you see it being limited? Only to BBW? Only to long time posters? Who would decide who gets in?
> 
> Maybe we should start talking about the nuts and bolts of the thing, lest we get pulled off topic.


----------



## mergirl

kayrae said:


> Miss Vickie, thank you so much for bringing up this particular topic. It's the one that's hardest to figure out. Personally I'd like to see this board limited to all females (BBWs, SSBBWs, and FFAs only). I think it's reasonable to expect this board to be limited to long-time posters *at first*. With that said, how would we define "long time poster"?
> 
> As for this question: Who will decide who gets in? I'm gonna have to trust Conrad and the existing mods' discretion. But this is such a huge undertaking, I'm at a loss as to how to move forward with something like that.
> 
> What are your thoughts?


Ahh.. so you are proposing a 'womans' board. OK. Cause the thred is asking about views for a private Bbw board.
I actually think this is a better idea than a smaller bbw board because there are a lot of women who might have 'fat issues' to deal with even though they have lost weight also Its hard to quantify what exactly equates a bbw because i think its a subjective concept..etc etc..
In saying that, Personally i feel no need for a private womans board BUT if there are a majority of women who feel they need one then i am in support of this proposed forum.
The reason i brought up the issue of the ssbbw board before is because i think if this board is going to get given the go ahead, there is a lot to be learned from them as far as who to let in is concerned.
Do people have to show a pic of themselves (of their face) holding a copy of that days newspaper to become a member? Though people could get someone else to pose as them, so maby Dna analysis would be needed!
What about trans people M 2 F, would they be allowed in? (pre op).
What constitutes long term member? 1 year? 6 months? 

What Would be the subjects discussed.?
Would they be only matters of gynocology and womens mental health? Like a health board for women?
I think if it went any further than that, ie discussing womans history, music , film , roles in society, womens politics.. then it would stop being something helpful and turn into something detrimental through exclusion..
So am i right in assuming that actually what is being proposed is a 'private womans health board'.??


----------



## Miss Vickie

kayrae said:


> Miss Vickie, thank you so much for bringing up this particular topic. It's the one that's hardest to figure out. Personally I'd like to see this board limited to all females (BBWs, SSBBWs, and FFAs only). I think it's reasonable to expect this board to be limited to long-time posters *at first*. With that said, how would we define "long time poster"?



I'd like to see the board available to all females as well. I think we all have issues that we wouldn't want to discuss publicly, but perhaps need the support of like-minded and/or like-bodied women. 

As for long term, I'm not sure how to define that. I suppose it'll be up to those who post there. Maybe six months of regular posting? It also needs to be really clear that the private issues discussed in a private forum stay private and that if there is proof of anyone violating that, they would be permanently banned. 



> As for this question: Who will decide who gets in? I'm gonna have to trust Conrad and the existing mods' discretion. But this is such a huge undertaking, I'm at a loss as to how to move forward with something like that.



I agree. Both about trusting the mods, and about the fact that this will be an enormous undertaking. I hate to give the mods more to do.  They already have their hands full, but I think that once the thing is in place, it should be just lots of low key, vagina talk.


----------



## mossystate

I do wonder about a board for all women. I think that weakens things a bit. I don't know how comfortable bbw would feel talking about things that have to do with not just ' female problems ', but being fat in a world that does not always treat fat people with much respect. The fa's want a ' safe place ' and I just don't see a board for all women being a safe place. 

There are a million places to talk about uncomfortable issues that any woman might face...and pretty no place for fat women to talk about the mind _and_ the body. Just seems like, once again, fat women have to take the scraps. How did asking for a place for bbw......become something for all women. That makes no sense, here at Dimensions. Blah.


----------



## mergirl

mossystate said:


> I do wonder about a board for all women. I think that weakens things a bit. I don't know how comfortable bbw would feel talking about things that have to do with not just ' female problems ', but being fat in a world that does not always treat fat people with much respect. The fa's want a ' safe place ' and I just don't see a board for all women being a safe place.
> 
> There are a million places to talk about uncomfortable issues that any woman might face...and pretty no place for fat women to talk about the mind _and_ the body. Just seems like, once again, fat women have to take the scraps. How did asking for a place for bbw......become something for all women. That makes no sense, here at Dimensions. Blah.


See..I agree with this!! and also i dont and then i do..and then..
i dont..
This post started off as a request for a private bbw board. 
Already there is a private supersized bbw board. 
This is approved.
ok.. so women who weigh..what? 25 st on up have a board to chat on..in private.
what size do you have to be to be a bbw?
14 st? 15st?
so there seems to be a 10st weight range where bbws cannot chat in private..
Mossy.. i agree. i'm sorry for y'all .. but womens issues can be discussed anywhere/everywhere!!
I'm trying not to be flippant but everything from periods to sexual abuse to vaginal discharge can be discussed in a million other places.. BUT being a fat woman, living, psychologically, spiritually, physically as a fat woman is NOT discussed in a million places.
its just not..it COULD be here..
and if people are not comfortable discussing Fat women issues in public then OF course there should be a private forum..
If the ssbbws need one then why dont the rest..
we all have different problems, sure.
its finding the cut offs for where and when these problems begin and end..
Think its subjective,, but we can try,,


----------



## Miss Vickie

mossystate said:


> I do wonder about a board for all women. I think that weakens things a bit. I don't know how comfortable bbw would feel talking about things that have to do with not just ' female problems ', but being fat in a world that does not always treat fat people with much respect. The fa's want a ' safe place ' and I just don't see a board for all women being a safe place.
> 
> There are a million places to talk about uncomfortable issues that any woman might face...and pretty no place for fat women to talk about the mind _and_ the body. Just seems like, once again, fat women have to take the scraps. How did asking for a place for bbw......become something for all women. That makes no sense, here at Dimensions. Blah.



Okay, I see your point. I wouldn't want BBW to be uncomfortable. I guess I was just trying to be inclusive, and I would hope (!) that any woman who frequents this site would be more... sensitive... to the problems her larger sisters have and not be a complete prick about issues that are brought up.

Obviously, what serves BBW is best. I wonder, though, how you decide who's BBW "enough" to get in. Am I large enough at a size 14? Or am I to be grandmothered in because I was a fat woman, and according to some will undoubtedly regain my weight? I have a hard time with weight limits of any kind -- the "too big" kind, or the "too small" kind. I think in order to avoid that, at last requiring two x chromosomes is a _little_ more cut and dry.

But I'm not wedded to any particular agenda. I just want women to have a place they feel comfortable discussing private stuff, because I think it's a relevant need for Dimensions' community.


----------



## mergirl

See i agree with this.. etc.. see above..


----------



## mergirl

Miss Vickie said:


> Okay, I see your point. I wouldn't want BBW to be uncomfortable. I guess I was just trying to be inclusive, and I would hope (!) that any woman who frequents this site would be more... sensitive... to the problems her larger sisters have and not be a complete prick about issues that are brought up.
> 
> Obviously, what serves BBW is best. I wonder, though, how you decide who's BBW "enough" to get in. Am I large enough at a size 14? Or am I to be grandmothered in because I was a fat woman, and according to some will undoubtedly regain my weight? I have a hard time with weight limits of any kind -- the "too big" kind, or the "too small" kind. I think in order to avoid that, at last requiring two x chromosomes is a _little_ more cut and dry.
> 
> But I'm not wedded to any particular agenda. I just want women to have a place they feel comfortable discussing private stuff, because I think it's a relevant need for Dimensions' community.


Ok. i'm going to put this out there... but..
HERE, womens issues ARE also Fat womens issues.
Whether its because we are thin but have experience of being with/loving our fat sisters, whether we are kinna chubby/fat and feel the same.. we might have been Muchly fat and have lost weight and know what fat feels like in the head.. even anorexic and body dysmorphic.. we are still going to empathise.
we cant go russian doll style, smaller and smaller in rooms and rooms of smaller and smaller people.. I GET that bigger fat people have 'different' problems.. but to be honest IF there were to be a private womans forum ..And lets be honest HERE it would be a FAT WOMANS FORUM (past/present/future/or friend).. It will be a womans forum. A womens forum with fat in mind..not a fat womans forum with womens issues on mind.
THIS i can get on board with..


----------



## mergirl

Sandie S-R said:


> The problem is Mer, I don't think that is going to fly for the majority of the BBWs here.
> 
> "basically you are saying fa's that like bhms might not be allowed.."
> 
> No, that is not what I'm saying.
> 
> What I am saying is that women who are not BBWs will likely not be allowed. There are some thin FFAs who have a exhibited a a tremendous amount of disdain for fat women here on this site. So for the board to be successful (meaning a private place for BBWs to openly discuss their health issues) then thin women will most likely have to excluded. Most BBWs here are not going to feel safe if the thin women mentioned (as bbw bashers) are allowed in the forum.
> 
> This is just my take, based on a LONNNNNGGGG history history here at Dimensions.


OK sistah.. i hear you..
But the women you talk about ARE obviously thin Bhm lovers..
Cause all the rest here are bbws or bi/gay ffa's.
You know what sandie? -fuck them.! those horrendous women who have any distain for bbws! Of course they shouldnt be allowed on any Womens forum..actually LET ALONE DIMENSIONS ITSELF!!
What i'm saying though is ..they are few and far between..
people like Dr P and GEF.. people I ADORE who are women lovers to the core (dont mean sexually you guys )
For example-those who shall not be named in canklegate..could really have been any size.. but basically they were not Pro-bbw or feminists or well sistahhhs! But there are skinnies like ..(i keep mentioning her) Dr P.. Who Might be a couple of dress sizes smaller than bbw.. but who is Totally a supporter of FAT rights!
i think this board..if it takes off should reflect these points..


----------



## mossystate

Seems that the focus should be on those who have rarely, if ever, had a voice and a safe place......not for ' supporters ', who can support all over the general board. This is not denying the smaller women.....anything. Sometimes, it is good to have the ear of only those who are in your shoes.


----------



## D_A_Bunny

mossystate said:


> Sometimes, it is good to have the ear of only those who are in your shoes.



Quoted for truth.


----------



## mergirl

Define your shoes and those who 'are in' them. Then we will get somewhere!


----------



## LoveBHMS

mergirl said:


> Define your shoes and those who 'are in' them. Then we will get somewhere!



She means fat people. Only fat people understand what it's like to be fat.

You want to break this down into "good FAs" (you) and "bad FAs" (me) and get special treatment for the good ones. What they are saying is supporters/allies/lovers still don't have the experience firsthand.

I'm an ally of the gay community. I am straight but support gay marriage. I don't agree with laws against gay marriage and I don't agree with things like firing somebody from their job if they are gay. OTOH, those things won't ever personally affect me or my straight friends or relatives. I don't agree with firing somebody from their job for being gay, but I also don't have to worry about it every happening to me, whereas a gay person does.


----------



## mergirl

LoveBHMS said:


> She means fat people. Only fat people understand what it's like to be fat.
> 
> You want to break this down into "good FAs" (you) and "bad FAs" (me) and get special treatment for the good ones. What they are saying is supporters/allies/lovers still don't have the experience firsthand.
> 
> I'm an ally of the gay community. I am straight but support gay marriage. I don't agree with laws against gay marriage and I don't agree with things like firing somebody from their job if they are gay. OTOH, those things won't ever personally affect me or my straight friends or relatives. I don't agree with firing somebody from their job for being gay, but I also don't have to worry about it every happening to me, whereas a gay person does.


Pure PISH! 
I think all Dims women should be allowed in this 'womans forum' ..
you should read my post again and you will see this..you really will!!
i was replying to someone and telling her that the people she was talking about are bhm lovers.. and i said well..i have friends who are and who i would want to be a part of this mentioned community
its nothing to do with bad Fa's and good fa's!? lmao
its to do with people not actually giving a fuck about women (fat or thin) and slagging them off within the community that is ment to love and protect them..
wtf does this have to do with being gay btw?? or knowing gay people? or about gay marrage? or about firing a gay person? 
i have lost your plot..


----------



## mergirl

oh and clinically I AM FAT PEOPLE! btw


----------



## LoveBHMS

You asked what Mossystate meant by "walk in our shoes."

I explained she meant that "walk in our shoes" meant being fat. Not being an FA, but actually being fat.

My point about being gay was that allies of the gay community are not the same as gay people just as FAs are not fat.

You and Sandie SR posted twice with very obvious references to me. You said that people like me should not be allowed in a private BBW forum but people like you should. What Mossystate was saying was that even the "best" FAs are still not fat people and don't have the same experiences.


----------



## mergirl

LoveBHMS said:


> You asked what Mossystate meant by "walk in our shoes."
> 
> I explained she meant that "walk in our shoes" meant being fat. Not being an FA, but actually being fat.
> 
> My point about being gay was that allies of the gay community are not the same as gay people just as FAs are not fat.
> 
> You and Sandie SR posted twice with very obvious references to me. You said that people like me should not be allowed in a private BBW forum but people like you should. What Mossystate was saying was that even the "best" FAs are still not fat people and don't have the same experiences.


I am fat.i am an fa.
i was not talking about you in any way.
if sandie was?? i have no idea..
As for me i pointed out that a womens board would not be the same without straight ffas such as gef and dr p.. they were off the top of my head ...you are included in this.
I think the best fa's are those who are fat actually! meaning ME!


----------



## LoveBHMS

Come on....let's be real.

Sandie SR made an *obvious* reference to me. You mentioned "Canklegate" and how certain women should not be on Dims. That was clearly *me* you were talking about since YOU brought up Canklegate.

Your whole exchange with Sandie was clearly about me. Everyone who was around for Canklegate got it. I don't hate fat women but some people won't ever believe that.

However, if you yourself are fat then you _should_ be included in any forum about fat women. Not as an FA, but as a BBW.

I do NOT agree that there is such thing as a "best" FA. Yes of course a fellow fattie can understand the fat experience but some FAs are thin or average. That does not make them lesser FAs.


----------



## mergirl

LoveBHMS said:


> Come on....let's be real.
> 
> Sandie SR made an *obvious* reference to me. You mentioned "Canklegate" and how certain women should not be on Dims. That was clearly *me* you were talking about since YOU brought up Canklegate.
> 
> Your whole exchange with Sandie was clearly about me. Everyone who was around for Canklegate got it. I don't hate fat women but some people won't ever believe that.
> 
> However, if you yourself are fat then you _should_ be included in any forum about fat women. Not as an FA, but as a BBW.
> 
> I do NOT agree that there is such thing as a "best" FA. Yes of course a fellow fattie can understand the fat experience but some FAs are thin or average. That does not make them lesser FAs.


I dont even remember who was involved in said 'cankle gate' ..but quite obviously it was you from your remarks.. All i remember is two girls chatting and slagging off big women.. This is why i mentioned it when sandie mentioned people who she thought bbws would feel uncomfortable being in a women only forum.
I'm not talking about 'best in show' here. I'm saying that the best Fa's are fat themselves..this goes without saying and is quite obvious. Fat Fa's will understand fat people more because they are fat... what is not understood about that.?


----------



## mergirl

And by best ..i mean at understanding,, not like the BEST people!


----------



## LoveBHMS

Well it seemed as though your constant reference to women who "like BHMS" was about me and you knew it.

At any rate, I think Mossystate just meant that "walk in our shoes" meant 'be fat" and if you are fat and there is a private forum, you should be included.

And sure maybe you can be a *better* FA if you are fat, but maybe as an FA (or FFA) you can still learn and inform yourself about fattie issues. I already posted about this, but I recently met a SSBBW pal for drinks and dinner. Had I not read the "Dating a SSBBW" thread, I would not have had the sense to worry over if she would be comfortable with my choice of seating. I work at a bar and sometimes when the hostess is away from her post, I have to seat people, and because of what I have learned on Dims, I can make sure to not seat SS men or women in booths.

IOW, I did learn by reading about fat people's experiences and was able to be helpful towards them. OTOH, learning about somebody's experiences is NOT the same thing as sharing them.


----------



## mergirl

LoveBHMS said:


> Well it seemed as though your constant reference to women who "like BHMS" was about me and you knew it.
> 
> At any rate, I think Mossystate just meant that "walk in our shoes" meant 'be fat" and if you are fat and there is a private forum, you should be included.
> 
> And sure maybe you can be a *better* FA if you are fat, but maybe as an FA (or FFA) you can still learn and inform yourself about fattie issues. I already posted about this, but I recently met a SSBBW pal for drinks and dinner. Had I not read the "Dating a SSBBW" thread, I would not have had the sense to worry over if she would be comfortable with my choice of seating. I work at a bar and sometimes when the hostess is away from her post, I have to seat people, and because of what I have learned on Dims, I can make sure to not seat SS men or women in booths.
> 
> IOW, I did learn by reading about fat people's experiences and was able to be helpful towards them. OTOH, learning about somebody's experiences is NOT the same thing as sharing them.


Nope.. i was referencing 'women who like bhm's' cause they seemed to be the only group missing in the womens forum and i didnt want that cause as ive said now a few times..i have a few bhm loving friends here that i would love to join in with debate on a womans forum and not miss out on stuff.
I think its great you learned from Dimensions how to make your ssbbw friend feel more comfortable...i think this is one of the best aspects about the site.. i dont know what iow or otoh means ...but your emboldened NOT i get and i agree with.


----------



## LoveBHMS

IOW= In other words
OTOH= On the other hands.

All I meant was from reading this board I have become more informed about fat people issues. However being informed and aware is not the same as living them.

Sandie was _very_ clearly referring to me in her reasoning for not allowing women under size 18 to be in the private forum. There were a LOT of discussions when the 450+ private forum was started and numerous FA said they thought they could learn a lot from access to such a forum (like if you had a SS friend, date, or relative you could become more learned about their issues) but the SS women said they needed privacy and were not going to be educational material.

I suspect the "Under 450 but still fat" forum feels the same way. I have no doubt that other women could make a positive contribution, but the sense I get is that it's unwelcome in that particular venue.


----------



## Miss Vickie

Yeah, so anyway, about the board. Obviously, I'd like to be involved but since I'm a size 12 (even though I'm considered obese by BMI standards) I'd probably be "too small". That's okay. I'm disappointed, but I'm just happy that something could be created for those in need.


----------



## Suze

mergirl said:


> oh and clinically I AM FAT PEOPLE! btw



tel me ur weighht and heiigh pleas :eat2::eat1:


----------



## AnnMarie

mergirl said:


> Fat Fa's will understand fat people more because they are fat... what is not understood about that.?



I don't agree with that. Just because they know the issues first hand doesn't mean they're necessarily better at being with a fat partner. All of my exes are thin FA men, and they've mostly all been very understanding, helpful, supportive, willing partners. They wouldn't have been better at being with me simply by measure of body weight.


----------



## mergirl

AnnMarie said:


> I don't agree with that. Just because they know the issues first hand doesn't mean they're necessarily better at being with a fat partner. All of my exes are thin FA men, and they've mostly all been very understanding, helpful, supportive, willing partners. They wouldn't have been better at being with me simply by measure of body weight.


Have you been with an Fa who is also fat?
I am saying you have to be fat to really know what it is like to be fat. No matter how supportive, attentive, willing or helpful your partner will/can be will they really ever know what its like for you to BE fat? NO.
If ALL of your Ex's have been thin men then you have no reference point..when you date a bhm then you will know what i mean.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

You know.......I think Sandie brought up some good points/reasons why some might not be comfortable with anyone that is not a BBW on the board. I can support that reasoning, if needed. I don't mind the idea of smaller women but it's a group thing so I'm thinking majority rule might work? 

I'm also thinking a model of the SSBBW board might work. I really would like to know more details about it since I originally believed (from many posts about it) that it was a hygiene only type board but Sandie says it is more than that. What are the criteria for that board? How do they pick and choose it's members? (Once again, I think Sandie kind of laid that out already and that her advice on some of this might be quite helpful). 

But....one thing bothers me. I see it being said that if they are not bbw, then they don't know what it is to be a fat person. So....what about Miss Vickie, Susannah, others that have formerly been fat women but now are not? I think they should qualify.......
I also think a size 18 woman qualifies as BBW.....only in Fat World aka Dims is size 18 "small" by the most generous of definitions. Size 16/18 is big out in reality and they get the same shit as a lot of us that are bigger.

@Mer....you just threw me for a loop when you called me "woman lover to the core". Still digesting that one....but I think I should thank you


----------



## mergirl

Miss Vickie said:


> Yeah, so anyway, about the board. Obviously, I'd like to be involved but since I'm a size 12 (even though I'm considered obese by BMI standards) I'd probably be "too small". That's okay. I'm disappointed, but I'm just happy that something could be created for those in need.


See, this is what i mean.. thats pish. It should be a womans board and you should be involved.. lest it all be pish and pointless and too exclusive to the detroment of THE WHOLE GODDAM UNIVERSE!!!


----------



## kayrae

And to add to GEF's post, if you look into the fashion world, size 12 is in the plus-size section. Some of these size 12 women also think they're fat.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

kayrae said:


> And to add to GEF's post, if you look into the fashion world, size 12 is in the plus-size section. Some of these size 12 women also think they're fat.



Good point....back in my yo-yo diet all the time days, it did something to me mentally to realize I had to walk from the "normal size" section of clothing over to the "fat people" section...and vice versa. Yeah, I think sizes 12/14 might have issues, too, even if they are now being called "average size"....they are not considered thin by the media or many of our peers.


----------



## mergirl

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> You know.......I think Sandie brought up some good points/reasons why some might not be comfortable with anyone that is not a BBW on the board. I can support that reasoning, if needed. I don't mind the idea of smaller women but it's a group thing so I'm thinking majority rule might work?
> 
> I'm also thinking a model of the SSBBW board might work. I really would like to know more details about it since I originally believed (from many posts about it) that it was a hygiene only type board but Sandie says it is more than that. What are the criteria for that board? How do they pick and choose it's members? (Once again, I think Sandie kind of laid that out already and that her advice on some of this might be quite helpful).
> 
> But....one thing bothers me. I see it being said that if they are not bbw, then they don't know what it is to be a fat person. So....what about Miss Vickie, Susannah, others that have formerly been fat women but now are not? I think they should qualify.......
> I also think a size 18 woman qualifies as BBW.....only in Fat World aka Dims is size 18 "small" by the most generous of definitions. Size 16/18 is big out in reality and they get the same shit as a lot of us that are bigger.
> 
> @Mer....you just threw me for a loop when you called me "woman lover to the core". Still digesting that one....but I think I should thank you


Aye.. see i am 16/18 and i have one top that is a 20 but i'm not talking about that until mentally i am fatually ready for it! Here i dont feel 'fat' for whatever that means.. but in real world i am..
Cant we just have a private forum where all the cool women hang out..
I think though a health forum is a bit.. bleerrrghh..
Couldnt it be MORE than that?
Like a support ..not just health.. well health of the mind..maby..
aye.. hmm.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

mergirl said:


> Aye.. see i am 16/18 and i have one top that is a 20 but i'm not talking about that until mentally i am fatually ready for it! Here i dont feel 'fat' for whatever that means.. but in real world i am..
> Cant we just have a private forum where all the cool women hang out..
> I think though a health forum is a bit.. bleerrrghh..
> Couldnt it be MORE than that?
> Like a support ..not just health.. well health of the mind..maby..
> aye.. hmm.




Lol Mer.....calm down. You qualify, IMHO, fat girl


----------



## kayrae

The private forum that I want deals with issues of both mental and physical health, issues that women are uncomfortable talking about in the current open health board. If women want to get some kind of support, the private forum that I want should be a place where they can get that. I wouldn't want this to be a "cool" hang-out spot necessarily.


----------



## mergirl

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Lol Mer.....calm down. You qualify, IMHO, fat girl


haha.. the thing is.. untill we even talked about this i assumed i was thin.. and an Fa.. until GD said to me.. no actually your not! I have total body dysmorphia.. and people are only fat to me if they are at least double me! hmm god damn this place and its ruination of my sense of self!! 
Anyway.. is it agreed? what everyone wants is a cool woman place.. for cool and fruity women specially..
I'm off to bed.. yaawwwwnn..


----------



## Sandie S-R

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> You know.......I think Sandie brought up some good points/reasons why some might not be comfortable with anyone that is not a BBW on the board. I can support that reasoning, if needed. I don't mind the idea of smaller women but it's a group thing so I'm thinking majority rule might work?
> 
> I'm also thinking a model of the SSBBW board might work. I really would like to know more details about it since I originally believed (from many posts about it) that it was a hygiene only type board but Sandie says it is more than that. What are the criteria for that board? How do they pick and choose it's members? (Once again, I think Sandie kind of laid that out already and that her advice on some of this might be quite helpful).
> 
> But....one thing bothers me. I see it being said that if they are not bbw, then they don't know what it is to be a fat person. So....what about Miss Vickie, Susannah, others that have formerly been fat women but now are not? I think they should qualify.......
> I also think a size 18 woman qualifies as BBW.....only in Fat World aka Dims is size 18 "small" by the most generous of definitions. Size 16/18 is big out in reality and they get the same shit as a lot of us that are bigger.
> 
> @Mer....you just threw me for a loop when you called me "woman lover to the core". Still digesting that one....but I think I should thank you



GEF et.al.,

I'm happy to let you all pick my brain for ideas on setting up a private BBW board. However, we will not be discussing any specifics about the SSBBW board. It is a private board, and we go out of our way to protect the confidentiality of those who are members. Including how they become members. 

Sandie
/Moderator


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

mergirl said:


> haha.. the thing is.. untill we even talked about this i assumed i was thin.. and an Fa.. until GD said to me.. no actually your not! I have total body dysmorphia.. and people are only fat to me if they are at least double me! hmm god damn this place and its ruination of my sense of self!!
> Anyway.. is it agreed? what everyone wants is a cool woman place.. for cool and fruity women specially..
> I'm off to bed.. yaawwwwnn..



I will follow you all over the boards and call you fatty if that makes it better


----------



## mergirl

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I will follow you all over the boards and call you fatty if that makes it better


It might even turn me on GEF,, so you betta watch owwwwwt! lmao


----------



## BeaBea

Hand on heart my gut reaction to this issue is that the board should be limited to larger women only. But then immediately I want to include Miss Vickie who I know understands only too well, and lots of other smaller women who I definitely feel would empathise with issues they had experience of and the wisdom to not say anything if they couldn't. I'm left in a conumdrum then because I cant see any fair way to divide who I want included and who I dont. 

Tracey xx


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

But what is the definition of larger? Dimensions definition or REAL WORLD definition? 

Personally, I think a lot of issues start out in reality....so let's run with reality.


----------



## NancyGirl74

Question...If the too small woman will be excluded because someone else has decided what defines BBW will the SSBBWs be excluded too?


----------



## bexy

You know, initally I was dead against this board as I don't like the idea of Dims being cut into lots and lots of small subsections.

But then I remembered something that happened to me about a year ago. 

I had been talking about Dims a lot, mentioning how I was enjoying posting here. My friend was like "what is it, what is it for, why are you always on it" etc. He didn't really understand what it was about.

Shortly after that I posted a thread on the Health board about my belly button and issues I was having with it.

A few days later my friend asked me how my belly button was. He was giggling. Now, he wasn't being nasty but he was taking the mickey outta me a wee bit. 
Turns out he signed up to Dims to see what types of things I posted here and read the post about my belly button. 

I had a bit of a row with him about it, and he said sorry. He is immature sometimes, thats about the only explanation for it! 

I know this is a bit of an elaborate example but it _did_ happen. 
And for that reason I can understand why women here may feel the need for a private space. Not only so they can discuss their health issues, be them mental or physical, but so they can discuss them with people they have come to know and feel comfortable with. 

What my friend did didn't embarrass me or annoy me as such, I just felt pissed off that he was mocking my participation here. I am happy to discuss things in front of men, as I often tend to feel closer to them than women. And that is even with a history of sexual abuse. I am closer to George than anyone in the world and can talk to him about anything, and so the gender seperation thing doesn't really appeal to me. But the privacy thing, I can kinda understand.

I guess I am saying I don't mind if this forum comes to pass or not, I don't feel a desperate need for it. But I can understand there are those who do and that they have vaild reasons.


----------



## kayrae

Then what this all boils down to is trust.

Personally, I trust all the women on this site... but I'm new. For the most part, I'm unscathed and my feelings haven't been hurt by the thin women on this site. Not on my issues about fat anyway.

How about this as a solution: Entrance is gained first by fat women who are interested in a private health forum (We can discuss who is considered "fat" later). The women who are invited must first agree on some kind of privacy clause, which we can hammer out. Not only do you have to be fat, you also must have a certain number of posts under your belt.

After that, entrance by anyone else is based on group consensus. We can also hammer out later what "group consensus" means. It can be absolute, by majority, or some kind of agreed upon percentage.

Thoughts?


----------



## Sandie S-R

NancyGirl74 said:


> Question...If the too small woman will be excluded because someone else has decided what defines BBW will the SSBBWs be excluded too?



My answer to that would be no. Primarily because, before an SSBBW became SS, she was a BBW. There is nothing that a BBW is experiencing that an SSBBW hasn't already experienced. 

SSBBW didn't magically go from thin to SS bypassing the BBW experience.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

kayrae said:


> Then what this all boils down to is trust.
> 
> Personally, I trust all the women on this site... but I'm new. For the most part, I'm unscathed and my feelings haven't been hurt by the thin women on this site. Not on my issues about fat anyway.
> 
> How about this as a solution: Entrance is gained first by fat women who are interested in a private health forum (We can discuss who is considered "fat" later). The women who are invited must first agree on some kind of privacy clause, which we can hammer out. Not only do you have to be fat, you also must have a certain number of posts under your belt.
> 
> After that, entrance by anyone else is based on group consensus. We can also hammer out later what "group consensus" means. It can be absolute, by majority, or some kind of agreed upon percentage.
> 
> Thoughts?



Yeah....a person would have to have a certain number of posts and tend to be "known" around here on some level...because we don't want men making up an ID and pretending to be a woman just to read shit he has no business reading. 

My major concern, though, with too much exclusionary is that I would like for it to be a place for newer members, too. And, if they don't know of the existence of this board, what would be the criteria for new member invitation? 
There should be more on Dims for the newer members than "freedom to post naked pictures". Sure, that's liberating for some, but there needs to be more substance. 

I like your ideas, Kayrae, and I'm hoping to hear more good ideas from others reading this thread.


----------



## Sandie S-R

kayrae said:


> Then what this all boils down to is trust.
> 
> Personally, I trust all the women on this site... but I'm new. For the most part, I'm unscathed and my feelings haven't been hurt by the thin women on this site. Not on my issues about fat anyway.
> 
> How about this as a solution: Entrance is gained first by fat women who are interested in a private health forum (We can discuss who is considered "fat" later). The women who are invited must first agree on some kind of privacy clause, which we can hammer out. Not only do you have to be fat, you also must have a certain number of posts under your belt.
> 
> After that, entrance by anyone else is based on group consensus. We can also hammer out later what "group consensus" means. It can be absolute, by majority, or some kind of agreed upon percentage.
> 
> Thoughts?




Kayrae,

Just a piece of advice. I wouldn't suggest allowing a group membership to jury every member. It will turn into a nightmare. Trust me on this. Once your basic criteria is established, then let your mods handle the admittance. 

Some of this should probably be discussed in PM. You're welcome to PM me if you like.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Sandie S-R said:


> My answer to that would be no. Primarily because, before an SSBBW became SS, she was a BBW. There is nothing that a BBW is experiencing that an SSBBW hasn't already experienced.
> 
> SSBBW didn't magically go from thin to SS bypassing the BBW experience.



I have to admit that I am feeling a bit resentful that SSBBW will be included but have been told we can know nothing of how to go about having something similiar to their board for smaller BBWs.
I want SSBBW included...but some help with "our board" would be nice.


----------



## Sandie S-R

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I have to admit that I am feeling a bit resentful that SSBBW will be included but have been told we can know nothing of how to go about having something similiar to their board for smaller BBWs.
> I want SSBBW included...but some help with "our board" would be nice.



I am more than willing to help. And I suggested that Kayrae contact me via PM.


----------



## kayrae

You just might be right. That does sound like a nightmare. I'm just trying to figure out how we can make this work. 



Sandie S-R said:


> Kayrae,
> 
> Just a piece of advice. I wouldn't suggest allowing a group membership to jury every member. It will turn into a nightmare. Trust me on this. Once your basic criteria is established, then let your mods handle the admittance.
> 
> Some of this should probably be discussed in PM. You're welcome to PM me if you like.


----------



## AnnMarie

As Sandie said, this has to go to PM and private discussions because there are logistics of private boards, requirements, enforcements, etc... that have to be done and managed by moderators and admins. While it's nice for a group making a proposal (to my knowledge, we still don't actually have one?) for something - the details are not handled by them, they have to be handled by those who have more experience in the good, and bad, ways these things have gone in the past. 

We've all learned lessons, and while nothing will be perfect, there are ideas that members have that may or may not be applicable in a real board setting - so proposal, then ultimately Conrad makes the calls on if/how it will be executed. 

I'm not raining on parades here, I'm frankly tired of allllll this board talk, but I just want people to be realistic and not spinning their wheels in endless conversations about "how/when/what/who" when ultimately those decisions won't be enforced or made by "you" (general you), but of course input is always needed and welcome.


----------



## kayrae

Hi AnneMarie, thanks for the input. Some of the discussion has moved to PMs.

For anyone else who is interested in the creation of this proposal and would like to give their name as a supporter, please let me know. It's too bad I didn't just make this an open poll. Anyway, I promise not to include your name as a supporter until you've actually read the proposal in its entirety. But at this point, I would love to actually start putting something together and have some form of document ready. It might also expedite the process if I know who I should contact.


----------



## mossystate

Bumping this thread. 


I think the way the public/protected FA forum is set up, with the potential ' backroom ', would be the smartest way to go. More sensitive health issues could be taken private, while the general living and experiences as a BBW on the planet can be discussed for the benefit of all.

Just the being able to see the letters BBW...on the frontpage...would be a welcoming sight to fat women who are already here...and fat women who are searching for a place to tell their stories, without having to wade through ( if they even stick around, or try to find a sense of community on the other boards, which does not exactly speak to everything a woman needs ) the comments about their looks. Trust me... after a while, when you just want to be human every now and again, and not a Fat Woman, this sort of thing gets as tiresome as having people obsess about your body because they want you to lose weight. There is lots to learn from so many of the fat women on this board. Dims would be a progressive place for newcomers.


I would hope any proposal would not be too narrow in its focus. I know many of us have expressed an interest in being included in the discussion. Dimensions now has an almost very rounded out looking board. I wonder if BBW will be the last ( wow and a sigh ) group standing. A comfy chair would be nice, and, appreciated.


----------



## mergirl

There is a public protected Fa forum? Or am i confused? If there is, and well even if there isn't, i think a bbw forum is a good idea.


----------



## mossystate

mergirl said:


> There is a public protected Fa forum? Or am i confused? If there is, and well even if there isn't, i think a bbw forum is a good idea.



* takes mer by her haggis, and shows her the frontpage *


----------



## mergirl

OH!.. You know the weird thing is.. i think i actually have posted in there too..without even realising!!! Ok, i need to reduce these meds..
haha..madness..


----------



## Ernest Nagel

mossystate said:


> Bumping this thread.
> 
> 
> I think the way the public/protected FA forum is set up, with the potential ' backroom ', would be the smartest way to go. More sensitive health issues could be taken private, while the general living and experiences as a BBW on the planet can be discussed for the benefit of all.
> 
> Just the being able to see the letters BBW...on the frontpage...would be a welcoming sight to fat women who are already here...and fat women who are searching for a place to tell their stories, without having to wade through ( if they even stick around, or try to find a sense of community on the other boards, which does not exactly speak to everything a woman needs ) the comments about their looks. Trust me... after a while, when you just want to be human every now and again, and not a Fat Woman, this sort of thing gets as tiresome as having people obsess about your body because they want you to lose weight. There is lots to learn from so many of the fat women on this board. Dims would be a progressive place for newcomers.
> 
> 
> I would hope any proposal would not be too narrow in its focus. I know many of us have expressed an interest in being included in the discussion. Dimensions now has an almost very rounded out looking board. I wonder if BBW will be the last ( wow and a sigh ) group standing. A comfy chair would be nice, and, appreciated.



Amen, Mossy. Just based on who supports Dims with their participation I'd assert BBW are entitled to whatever consideration they desire. Skeeve-inducing asshattery aside a private space for women only hurts no one and potentially helps many. Why shouldn't they have somewhere they can find both solace and a safe place to share things about themselves? Any man who feels so concerned or threatened by the notion of women having a little privacy should go live naked in a fishbowl on Times Square for awhile. Just sayin'.


----------



## mossystate

Ernest Nagel said:


> Amen, Mossy. Just based on who supports Dims with their participation I'd assert BBW are entitled to whatever consideration they desire. Skeeve-inducing asshattery aside a private space for women only hurts no one and potentially helps many. Why shouldn't they have somewhere they can find both solace and a safe place to share things about themselves? Any man who feels so concerned or threatened by the notion of women having a little privacy should go live naked in a fishbowl on Times Square for awhile. Just sayin'.



Like I said, I am talking about a public space that is protected, with the possibility of a backroom for certain topics, probably concerning senstitive health concerns. I would hate to see a totally private BBW board, if that is what you think I was saying. Like with the FA forum, people need to learn from others. It's just that I don't want BBW to be viewed as the ultimate ' other ' that is not given equal consideration. A totally private board would be difficult to create, as there would be so much back and forth about what size/weight should be let in. People could lie about being a BBW...but...like with the FA forum, where a person could lie about being an FA, what they actually type would have to follow set guildlines.


----------



## kayrae

Here's my question: if Conrad decides to make a BBW board just like the newly opened FA/FFA board, what would be the point of the main board as well as the health board?


----------



## mossystate

kayrae said:


> Here's my question: if Conrad decides to make a BBW board just like the newly opened FA/FFA board, what would be the point of the main board as well as the health board?



Well, there are many things posted on the main board that have to do with general size acceptance issues. I see lots of threads concerning health studies...how fat is treated in media...etc..etc.. The health board has many threads that bring up general health issues, and, also, a thread like the diabetic discussion...it is not about gender or certain experiences surrounding preferences...etc.. Fat women have more to talk about than ' just ' physical health issues. I think those issues are where the focus is, and we might do better to see a bigger ( no pun intended ) picture.


----------



## BothGunsBlazing

I thought there was already a bbw discussion forum? 

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=56930


----------



## mossystate

Hey now...I am not allowed to go over to your new playground and be all silly and stuff.........tsk tsk.

But, you are right......that thread is a really good start! I don't know why I want anything else. You are magic, BGB.


----------



## kayrae

What you're saying makes sense, Mossy. I'm just trying to envision the larger scope, because I didn't really see the creation of the BBW board this way.


----------



## Sandie S-R

The thing is Kayrae - what happens, (if anything) may or may not be "your" vision. Ultimately what happens here is about Conrad's vision. 

And any end result should take into consideration how this proposed BBW board would serve the community at large in the best possible way. It needs to "fit" the majority here. It needs to serve as many women as possible, not just some or a few. 

BTW - we still have not seen a formal proposal for a BBW board of any kind.


----------



## mossystate

kayrae said:


> What you're saying makes sense, Mossy. I'm just trying to envision the larger scope, because I didn't really see the creation of the BBW board this way.



Yeah, I know, K. I do understand your initial desires, as having a need to discuss very private things can shift the focus. That is why I actually admire the way the FA forum has been set up. Seems like a sensitve way to go about things. More people get to feel included. Dimensions itself would be lifted higher, with a similar BBW forum. Like with most situations in life...when people have a place to more easily and fully express themselves, with less roadblocks...they then tend to feel energized in a more exciting manner. It can really open doors, for the individual...and those ' looking in '.


----------



## kayrae

There hasn't been one because I'm still working on it. I am in no rush creating a proposal without giving it the full thought it deserves. The FAs formulated theirs in a year. It would be rather lame to send one in just because the FAs got theirs. This isn't about one upping each other. And when I say that I'm trying to envision the large scope of this BBW board, I am more than aware that Conrad makes the final decision; however, I am the writer of the proposal. It would behoove me to have some kind of vision.

*Because here's the kicker:* if I don't share the same vision as the rest of the BBWs who wanted a board, it means that I step down and have someone else write it. 

And I'm not saying this with malice. What Mossy is suggesting makes sense. The current set-up of the FA/FFA board seems like a great idea. I am merely looking at how a creation of the BBW board following this set-up will affect the current main board as well as the health board. Because maybe all I wanted all along is a private health board. This is my own wishes. And perhaps what I want fits into this "back room" idea only. But if this is where we're heading, the proposal I've created in my head has completely changed. 

I think about Dimensions all the time. Living in San Francisco, the second skinniest city in the nation next to Marin, I don't have the same kind of access to fat women that others do. And as someone who feels like I'm creating a small BBW/FA community in SF, I know personally how Dimensions has played a huge role in my own personal size acceptance. So I guess what I'm saying is this: I care a lot about how this board will be created. And I don't want to rush the idea just because an FA board already opened up.


----------



## Ernest Nagel

mossystate said:


> Like I said, I am talking about a public space that is protected, with the possibility of a backroom for certain topics, probably concerning senstitive health concerns. I would hate to see a totally private BBW board, if that is what you think I was saying. Like with the FA forum, people need to learn from others. It's just that I don't want BBW to be viewed as the ultimate ' other ' that is not given equal consideration. A totally private board would be difficult to create, as there would be so much back and forth about what size/weight should be let in. People could lie about being a BBW...but...like with the FA forum, where a person could lie about being an FA, what they actually type would have to follow set guildlines.



Since primarily women are involved I just assumed it would be an iterative, collaborative process that will evolve something that works well for as many as possible. There are so many brilliant and innovative women here I'd never presume to know what the final product will look like but I'm sure it will be great. I think it would be smart to look at what can be learned from the experience of those who use the SSBBW board but Conrad's authority notwithstanding I think you ladies deserve a blank slate to work from. :bow:


----------



## jupiter

I would love it if there was a women only board.


----------



## James

Just a quick note on the FA/FFA backroom being discussed... It doesn't exist yet may potentially never exist if no-one demonstrates the demand for it explicitly... Given time, I expect many new or confused FAs will request it as a resource though..


----------



## Fascinita

kayrae said:


> Here's my question: if Conrad decides to make a BBW board just like the newly opened FA/FFA board, what would be the point of the main board as well as the health board?



I don't think the Main Board qualifies as a BBW board. Nor does the Health Board. Both of those are places where any and all perspectives are represented. Like Mossy, I think that at this point, given the direction that Dimensions has taken with the recent addition of new boards that serve sectors of our community, BBWs could use a place to call their own around here, if only for morale's sake. 

More importantly, a BBW board could act as a place where we gather and discuss issues of our identities, as well as address more practical BBW-speficic issues. There are a number of these issues that do not pertain to health necessarily and which continue to challenge and define us as BBWs specifically. Mossy's touched on some of those and I like the idea of a safe haven where we're being social and supportive of one another as BBWs. 

For reasons similar to those listed by the FAs as they lobbied for a board, BBWs could now use a central forum where all things BBW were discusssed. The rest of the boards can serve the needs-at-large of the diverse community and act as places where we, everyone--no matter our denomination--come together to socialize and have fun, as well as to learn from one another and discuss issues that affect us all equally. It's simply become clear that we don't feel entirely comfortable enough with one another to say that FAs/SSBBWs/GLBT/BHM/BBWs/etc should be content with discussing each group's respective issues in the main forums. 

Personally, I'd like to be able to discuss a range of issues that I continue to hope will find greater traction at Dimensions--mostly having to do with my experiences as a fat woman specifically in a culture that can tend to make both being fat and being a woman challenging propositions. But the kind of discussion I've hoped for has seldom materialized in the 1.5 years I have spent as a member here--not nearly to the extent I'd wish. There are many ways to find community and to express our love and respect for fat around here, and there are ways to feel good about being a BBW by "getting in touch with our sexy," but not nearly enough discussions (for example) about what it's like to feel conflicted that fat should have such a high standing in our online community, that it should be so easy to feel admired here, while in our real-world lives we BBWs may not see nearly the same pro-fat gains in attitude from the world around us, in the dating arena, for instance--it's a great irony that we continue to come here for community and social opportunities precisely because the real world does not offer that to us as fat women. As well, not all of us find the type of socializing and discussion that takes place on the boards entirely enough. There are times when I'd like to discuss what it's like to be a fat woman without having to hear that I need more confidence or other misguided comments, for instance. 

These and many other issues that are specific to BBWs are just begging for a forum. And it looks like identity-based boards are the vehicle of choice for addressing this type of need at Dimensions at this point. For these reasons, I'm open to the idea of a BBW board that is about more than health issues. In fact, I think there's more of a need to serve BBW-identity-based discussions at Dimensions at this time, than any other type of issue that impacts BBWs.

I'll throw my hat into the public ring as someone who's willing to help in making a BBW board happen that serves a range of BBW-specific issues.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

mossystate said:


> Like I said, I am talking about a public space that is protected, with the possibility of a backroom for certain topics, probably concerning senstitive health concerns. I would hate to see a totally private BBW board, if that is what you think I was saying. Like with the FA forum, people need to learn from others. It's just that I don't want BBW to be viewed as the ultimate ' other ' that is not given equal consideration. A totally private board would be difficult to create, as there would be so much back and forth about what size/weight should be let in. People could lie about being a BBW...but...like with the FA forum, where a person could lie about being an FA, what they actually type would have to follow set guildlines.



I like how the FA/FFA board is open....with the option to be private. I want a private place for health issues...but don't care to openly discuss other things publically.


----------



## exile in thighville

"protected"


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

exile in thighville said:


> "protected"



Protected is good...however, there are just some things some people are not going to let just anyone see them discuss. Protected just means shut up...not that it cannot be read and discussed with....or even mocked/ridiculed...in private.


----------



## kayrae

Help! I don't really know how to write this anymore.


----------



## exile in thighville

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Protected is good...however, there are just some things some people are not going to let just anyone see them discuss. Protected just means shut up...not that it cannot be read and discussed with....or even mocked/ridiculed...in private.



i believe the term is "moderated."


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

exile in thighville said:


> i believe the term is "moderated."



I'm not clear on how "moderated" would make posting private issues in the open better...... :blink:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

kayrae said:


> Help! I don't really know how to write this anymore.




You mentioned having some ideas from PMs....why not PM me some ideas/guidelines? I am a writer and so is Fascinita. I don't know if you have already contacted her on this matter but if you haven't, I will be happy to do so


----------



## Violet_Beauregard

I have to say I agree with these points. I have no problem with the SSBBW having their own forum. But I think a "smaller" BBW forum could be quite useful, for exactly the type of reasons that GEF has pointed out.

Others have questioned how to determine the "size" of one to "belong" to the forum. There are size factors that have to be met for the SSBBW, are there not? I'm sure something could be determined for a "smaller BBW" forum.

Great thoughts GEF... well said...




Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I actually concur....and feel like the input from SSBBW could as valuable as input from other women in general. *It's just that we DO NOT have a safe haven like our bigger counter parts do. THAT is the issue....not that YOU shouldn't have one but rather that we DO NOT have one. Or that is how I see it anyway.*
> 
> 
> I have trouble, at 280 lbs, with some reach or discomfort due to my shape. It would be nice if others my size, or bigger, could share their input at tackling these type of problems.
> 
> I'm "only" 280 but I still have things happen to me, is my point.
> 
> *Once again, I'm not "put out" about a SSBBW board......I just feel "left out*".


----------



## Sandie S-R

Ladies, I think this has been said before (by AM maybe), but it bears saying again. Just write up a simple proposal. This doesn't have to be lengthy, and you do not need to work out the logistics. Just state your proposal for a board, with a straight forward explanation of why you feel the board is needed. That's it. Then the moderators and Conrad will work out the details if Conrad approves it. 

If you need any help, PM me. 

Sandie
Moderator


----------



## kayrae

Thanks to everyone who PM'd me. I promise I will get back to you. I've just been a little busy. I will keep you updated sometime this week.


----------



## kayrae

BGB pointed that succubus_dxb's poll, Average Weight of Dims BBW Ladies, shows that there are a lot of women on Dimensions that weigh below 350 lbs., which strengthens the part in our proposal that's requesting for a back room.


----------



## Sandie S-R

kayrae said:


> BGB pointed that succubus_dxb's poll, Average Weight of Dims BBW Ladies, shows that there are a lot of women on Dimensions that weigh below 350 lbs., which strengthens the part in our proposal that's requesting for a back room.





To the best of my knowledge we have not seen a proposal as yet??


----------



## mossystate

A proposal has been presented.


----------



## BigBawdyDame

Australian Lord said:


> I think this is a bad move. All its doing is reinforcing social cliques and throwing up new social boundries and fences, something I thought Dimensions was tearing down.
> 
> Having closed boards is nothing but bad news for everyone involved.



I agree 100%.


----------



## Fascinita

Sandie S-R said:


> To the best of my knowledge we have not seen a proposal as yet??



We've submitted a proposal to Conrad. 

*Positive thoughts, everyone.  Let's have 'em!*

Meanwhile, let's all enjoy a little Beatles. I love this song and right now I'm thinking of Prudence as a BBW with a forum of her own (as Virginia Woolf might say.)


----------



## butch

Fascinita said:


> We've submitted a proposal to Conrad.
> 
> *Positive thoughts, everyone.  Let's have 'em!*
> 
> Meanwhile, let's all enjoy a little Beatles. I love this song and right now I'm thinking of Prudence as a BBW with a forum of her own (as Virginia Woolf might say.)



I want to rep you for the Woolf reference, but the system won't let me. Boo Hoo. Oh, did you hear the lastest gossip? Chloe likes Olivia.


----------



## Fascinita

butch said:


> Chloe likes Olivia.



Wouldn't it be great if we were able to post pics please K thanks bye on a BBW forum _and_ the GLBTQ forum? :smitten:


----------



## collared Princess

AshleyEileen said:


> I had no idea there were private boards.
> 
> Also, I'm sure this would open the debate up as to when BBW becomes SSBBW.



yeah..and just where are these boards that ssbbw's go??
I feel unloved..well I guess Iam unloved..oh but where are they still ?


----------



## Sugar

collared Princess said:


> yeah..and just where are these boards that ssbbw's go??
> I feel unloved..well I guess Iam unloved..oh but where are they still ?



There is a private SSBBW board that unless you're a member you can't see it. Stop feeling unloved and contact an Op about it.


----------



## mergirl

See, i think this is funny because if you are eligable to join the secret ssbbw board you have to contact a mod (hu..i always thought op ment origional post/er!!? i could cry!!) but if its secret, how would you know about it. My gf is a ssbbw (i actually fucking HATE that term to describe people) and no one told her.. actually the first i had even heard about it was when someone told me they go on that when i was chatting to them on msngr a few months ago. Maby when people say they are a ssbbw, after however many posts, provisions of proof etc they should be contacted by a mod and told about it.
See, i think everyone knows that collared princess is a ssbbw..so why doesnt she know there is a private ssbbw board? Should it really be THAT much of a palava for bigger bbws to find/join this forum?


----------



## Emma

There was like a 6 billion page long thread about it.


----------



## mergirl

When? Where? 
Maby it should be a sticky cause a lot of bigger bbws apparently dont know about this special room. 
Hmm..Not sure if i feel awake enough to read a 6 billion page long thred! lmao.. Maby we should start another one and when it gets to 6 million posts start another one!!


----------



## thatgirl08

I don't qualify really as a SSBBW but I was here for over a year before realizing such a board exisisted so I agree Mergirl.


----------



## mszwebs

mergirl said:


> When? Where?
> Maby it should be a sticky cause a lot of bigger bbws apparently dont know about this special room.
> Hmm..Not sure if i feel awake enough to read a 6 billion page long thred! lmao.. Maby we should start another one and when it gets to 6 million posts start another one!!



Lisa,

The initial participants of the SSBBW forum were ladies that participated in a thread, and forgive me if I don't link it because I'm on my phone, about being over 450 lbs. 

That thread disappeared during the creation of the new board, causing uproar, and a *where's the 450??* thread sprung up in its place. 

When the board opened, in the 450 thread, it was stated that for membership, you needed to contact a mod, who at that point was solely BigBeautifulMe. Whe you expressed interest, she told you of the posting requirements, etc. To be a board member. 

At the beginning, the board included SS...allies, I hues you would say. Partners, friends, and women who had participated in the original thread. 

As time passed, the entrance requirements were changed to stipulate that if you were not SS, due to the potential nature of the discussion, you could not participate in the board. Please note this was not an arbitrary decision and caused drama, the effects of which are still between members of this forum today. 

The rules WERE changed, and 2 additional Mods were added to the board to help with that process. 

I think that it is slightly unrealistic to ask that the mods chase down everyone who is SS and has the required number of posts, but perhaps a bit more advertizing might be in line. It's not a SECRET board, its a PRIVATE one. 

Its just that the nature of that privacy prevents discussion of the topics outside, making discussion of the board in general kind of hard. 

Perhaps a sticky somewhere would be good, with board information and access requirements. That way it is solely the posters responsibility to get information about joining, and no one can say otherwise. 
I hope this makes sense. I'll come back and add to it when I actually wake up in a few hours, if it doesn't lol.


----------



## mergirl

yeah.. i think a sticky would be good. You are right, that its probably a bit unrealistic for mods to be chasing up women who they suspect to be SS. I know that many women dont even advertise how much they weigh and would be uncomfortable doing so in a public forum anyway. Anyway..its just something i noticed, that a few 'ssbbw's' had said they would like a forum, when there actually is one in existance. Anyway, not meaning to derail the smaller bbws thread.. hmm i wonder how the proposal is going?? any news? What has actually been proposed?


----------



## marina82

can someone explain to me more about the SSBBW board that exists as a private board? How does one become a member of that board? I am an SSBBW and sometimes I have issues/questions I would rather speak to them about. Any information would be great. Thanks. 

Marina



kayrae said:


> When I started the FA board thread, I had an inkling that the topic was going to raise some ire from those who are against the creation of one. However, I didn't realize that within a handful of days, the discussion was going to reach 24 pages and over 8,000 views.
> 
> *This thread is not about the FFA/FA board. I want to discuss the creation of a private BBW board.* The FFA/FAs who contributed to that proposal obviously have strong feelings about creating a private space for themselves, and I respect that need.
> 
> What I want is a private place similar to what the FAs are asking for, a place where I can discuss my health issues in privacy. The SSBBWs already have that space. It has been explained to me that this private SSBBW board excludes men because the women do not want their discomfort to become wank fodder. Completely understandable. More so, smaller BBWs are excluded from this board because SSBBWs do not want their struggles to become a cautionary tale. Furthermore, some SSBBWs feel that smaller BBWs are condescending and can't possibly understand what they're going through because these BBWs have not reached that particular weight. Fair enough. *This thread is not about giving smaller BBWS access to the private SSBBW board.*
> 
> What I really want is a private space, which excludes men. I'm open to having SSBBWs AND FFAs reading about my potentially embarrassing health issues, but I don't want any men reading it at all. Obviously, SSBBWs can relate to our health issues because they were once smaller and FFAs because I highly doubt they'll be wanking off. I also want a place where I can discuss my self-esteem issues and completely come out of the BBW/BHM closet. Quite frankly, I am so sick of reading about the "ideal" BBW: self-confident! pear shape! blahlblahblah! For the record, I'm comfortable posting about fat self-esteem issues on the main board; however, my self-esteem issues is beyond fat and has a lot to do with incest, rape, and generally sexual abuse perpetrated by men... hence, my desire for privacy. Maybe a protected sub-forum is a more appropriate place for that since I'm open to discussing this particular topic with you, DIMs; however, I'm uncomfortable with allowing the general public to read my thoughts on this.
> 
> Here's where I need your input:
> 
> Smaller BBWs, do you want a private board? If yes, who gets access? Would you like to allow SSBBWs or FFAs? Or are you more interested in a protected space like the Weight Gain Board? What kind of issues do you think needs to be discussed in privacy?


----------



## Tau

Why would there be a need to have a BBW board and a SSBBW board? I'd always thought when it came to the fat movement and fat women we could all speak from a similar context and learn from each other and draw strength from each other. Why the necessity for division? Also, how do you know for sure if you're super sized. I consider myself super size. I weigh 111kgs and am under 1,5m tall - I think its something like 4feet11inches. My height weight proportion means that although that figure isnt as big as what other SSBBW's are at it makes me super size anyway. What would I get from being on that board thats different than what I'm getting now?


----------



## mszwebs

Tau said:


> Why would there be a need to have a BBW board and a SSBBW board? I'd always thought when it came to the fat movement and fat women we could all speak from a similar context and learn from each other and draw strength from each other. Why the necessity for division? Also, how do you know for sure if you're super sized. I consider myself super size. I weigh 111kgs and am under 1,5m tall - I think its something like 4feet11inches. My height weight proportion means that although that figure isnt as big as what other SSBBW's are at it makes me super size anyway. What would I get from being on that board thats different than what I'm getting now?



As I'm sure that the mods will point out... the existence of the SS board isn't up for discussion.

However, basically what you get on the board is frank discussion of issues that affect the supersized women of this board in a setting where only those affected by similar issues can read and respond.

If you have questions, feel free to PM BigBeautifulMe, SoVerySoft or Sandie S-R. They are the Mods of the Supersize Issues forum.


----------



## Tau

Aha! I wasn't aware it already existed! Slowly making my way through this thread right now. Thanks for response


----------



## Weeze

OK. So.
Even if there isn't a Private BBW BOARD can there be a private bbw THREAD for like, a few days? because I have a potentially icky girl-only question and it's like.. freakin me out, but there's no way in hell i'm posting it for EVERYONE to see. SO. 
Yes. 
Please?


----------



## JerseyGirl07093

krismiss said:


> OK. So.
> Even if there isn't a Private BBW BOARD can there be a private bbw THREAD for like, a few days? because I have a potentially icky girl-only question and it's like.. freakin me out, but there's no way in hell i'm posting it for EVERYONE to see. SO.
> Yes.
> Please?



This is the exact reason we need a private BBW board. I think it would be invaluable to the women on here. :bow:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

krismiss said:


> OK. So.
> Even if there isn't a Private BBW BOARD can there be a private bbw THREAD for like, a few days? because I have a potentially icky girl-only question and it's like.. freakin me out, but there's no way in hell i'm posting it for EVERYONE to see. SO.
> Yes.
> Please?





JerseyGirl07093 said:


> This is the exact reason we need a private BBW board. I think it would be invaluable to the women on here. :bow:


We have sent in a proposal to Conrad some time ago, asking for the BBW board to be modeled after the FFA board with the option for "a private back room" in the future.

I think it being open for the new people to find will be invaluable, as well. I don't like the idea of new people not being able to participate solely because they are not aware of it.


If anyone has any inquiries about the proposal we sent, please PM me


----------



## katherine22

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> We have sent in a proposal to Conrad some time ago, asking for the BBW board to be modeled after the FFA board with the option for "a private back room" in the future.
> 
> I think it being open for the new people to find will be invaluable, as well. I don't like the idea of new people not being able to participate solely because they are not aware of it.
> 
> 
> If anyone has any inquiries about the proposal we sent, please PM me



Although a woman's board would be invaluable, I am against predicating it on weight requirements. It saddens me that an SSBBW and a BBW would think that they lack a shared experience. Women come up against self-esteem issues at every point in their development, and it is good to hear from all perspectives. Secret back rooms only contribute to stigma and render one's status as freakish or surreal requiring exclusivity.


----------



## olwen

katherine22 said:


> Although a woman's board would be invaluable, I am against predicating it on weight requirements. It saddens me that an SSBBW and a BBW would think that they lack a shared experience. Women come up against self-esteem issues at every point in their development, and it is good to hear from all perspectives. Secret back rooms only contribute to stigma and render one's status as freakish or surreal requiring exclusivity.



It isn't about fair or not fair, or ghettoizing or anything like that. It's about necessity. Plain and simple. They needed a board for several good reasons, some of which had nothing to do with self esteem. Obviously, we all have similarities as fat folks, but like it or not there are differences. If you or anybody else who's questioning the board doesn't understand what those differences are I don't know what to tell you. That's just the way it is. It frankly upsets me that so many people don't understand the need for it, and I'm not even part of that board. 

A proposal was submitted for a bbw only board that will include all sizes. As far as I know we're all still waiting to hear about whether it was rejected or accepted.


----------



## mszwebs

olwen said:


> It isn't about fair or not fair, or ghettoizing or anything like that. It's about necessity. Plain and simple. They needed a board for several good reasons, some of which had nothing to do with self esteem. Obviously, we all have similarities as fat folks, but like it or not there are differences. If you or anybody else who's questioning the board doesn't understand what those differences are I don't know what to tell you. That's just the way it is. It frankly upsets me that so many people don't understand the need for it, and I'm not even part of that board.



THANK YOU. 

And for anyone who is interested, some of those reasons are clearly outlined within this thread, where we've had to defend a board that has been existence for quite some time. And I'm sure as people aren't reading read those posts, or are missing them somehow...we'll have to do it again.


----------



## Fascinita

olwen said:


> A proposal was submitted for a bbw only board that will *include all sizes*. As far as I know we're all still waiting to hear about whether it was rejected or accepted.



Yes! The proposal requests a public BBW Forum that is for BBWs of all sizes. The possible "private back room" addition to that forum is envisioned as a place where BBWs who desire to discuss certain issues privately--that is, among BBWs only--can do so. 

The forum is envisioned as a place where women who identify as BBWs can meet to discuss--in a moderated, protected environment (as is the FA/FFA Forum, for example)--issues that affect them as BBWs, and their authentic experiences as such.

Katherine, if you'd like to know anything about the proposal, PM either Green Eyed Fairy or myself.


----------



## Hathor

I didn't read through 18 pages of replies. Sorry....but... 

How can you create a board like that for certain sized BBWs? Where does the line get drawn for who is a BBW vs a SSBBW? 

In an older thread months ago people said anywhere from 300-400 was the line separating BBWs from SSBBWs. 

I think keeping two separate protected sub forums for women and men would be helpful regardless if they are admirers or fat themselves, but keeping a board separate for the smaller BBW is kind of beside the point considering that people don't agree on the weight that separates BBWs from SSBBWs.


----------



## mszwebs

Hathor said:


> I didn't read through 18 pages of replies. Sorry....but...
> 
> How can you create a board like that for certain sized BBWs? Where does the line get drawn for who is a BBW vs a SSBBW?
> 
> In an older thread months ago people said anywhere from 300-400 was the line separating BBWs from SSBBWs.
> 
> I think keeping two separate protected sub forums for women and men would be helpful regardless if they are admirers or fat themselves, but keeping a board separate for the smaller BBW is kind of beside the point considering that people don't agree on the weight that separates BBWs from SSBBWs.



AGAIN.

The SSBBW board is not up for debate, as it has existed for quite some time.



If you would like information on the requirements or find you do not meet the requirements, you may petition the board mods for entry. (Sandie S-R, SoVerySoft and BigBeautifulMe)

The proposal that was submitted was for a BBW board, not a BBW board for everyone that doesn't demonstrate need for the SSBBW board.

The SSBBW board's existence is NOT UP FOR DISCUSSION.


----------



## mossystate

It would be a board to discuss issues important to living in this world as a fat woman.

As you can see, Dimensions has a forum for fa's. We want the same protected area, not a private one. It would not matter the actual weight of the fat woman. As long as the experiences and words of the women were respected, and it did not end up being another place for women to be dismissed ( like the fa's enjoy on their forum ).....all are welcome. As has been stated, we are waiting.


Let's keep the discussion about bbw. It is not fair to the ssbbw, OR, the bbw, to warm up a dead debate.


----------



## kayrae

I am so tired having to defend a need for a private board especially when PEOPLE DON'T READ. There's already an FA/FFA board and look what kind of new discussions have sprung up.


----------



## Fascinita

kayrae said:


> I am so tired having to defend a need for a private board especially when PEOPLE DON'T READ. There's already an FA/FFA board and look what kind of new discussions have sprung up.



Just for clarity's sake, K, the FA/FFA board now is not private, though. It's protected/moderated and public.

The proposal requests a protected/moderated BBW Forum just like the FA/FFA Forum, with the *optional addition* of a sub-forum that would not be open to the public--this for the discussion of more sensitive issues that BBWs do not want to discuss in public.

Everyone: Please let's keep a positive, constructive spirit about this. I think we are all friends here and I am sure that by working together our efforts will pay off. I continue to feel optimistic about what our collective voices can accomplish.


----------



## Fascinita

mossystate said:


> It would be a board to discuss issues important to living in this world as a fat woman.
> 
> As you can see, Dimensions has a forum for fa's. We want the same protected area, not a private one. It would not matter the actual weight of the fat woman. As long as the experiences and words of the women were respected, and it did not end up being another place for women to be dismissed ( like the fa's enjoy on their forum ).....all are welcome. As has been stated, we are waiting.
> 
> 
> Let's keep the discussion about bbw. It is not fair to the ssbbw, OR, the bbw, to warm up a dead debate.




If the day arrives when the BBW Forum comes to life, I will have the pleasure of slapping you on the back (virtually) and congratulating you as the brains behind the board. When it seemed no one else could see that far, you had the vision to see that a BBW Forum would be helpful to the fat women here, and you spoke for it tirelessly for weeks. I'm still all behind _you_ on it and count on you for posts like this to help keep hope alive, as they say.  

I think it'll be a beautiful thing, either way, when it's all said and done. But you... you are definitely something. :wubu:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I will shut up now


----------



## Webmaster

A board will probably happen this week as per the proposal I received a while ago.



Fascinita said:


> If the day arrives when the BBW Forum comes to life, I will have the pleasure of slapping you on the back (virtually) and congratulating you as the brains behind the board. When it seemed no one else could see that far, you had the vision to see that a BBW Forum would be helpful to the fat women here, and you spoke for it tirelessly for weeks. I'm still all behind _you_ on it and count on you for posts like this to help keep hope alive, as they say.
> 
> I think it'll be a beautiful thing, either way, when it's all said and done. But you... you are definitely something. :wubu:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvKDDf4A6X0


:bow:  :wubu:


----------



## Fascinita

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Seems like there is a board for everyone here.....except smaller BBWs. Am I missing anyone?



As far as gendered divisions are concerned, no... BBWs of all sizes could benefit from a protected public forum in many ways, but one of my favorite reasons is that it has the potential to raise the standing and visibility of fat women at Dimensions in a very public way. 

As well, I like that it would bring all fat women together to discuss their lives as fat women... independent of other concerns. There's so much we can learn by talking to each other. Aside from issues specific to one particular group of fat women, I think there are many experiences that we BBWs have in common. And wouldn't it be great to explore and celebrate all of it.

Natasfan does not have his own board, btw.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Fascinita said:


> As far as gendered divisions are concerned, no... BBWs of all sizes could benefit from a protected public forum in many ways, but one of my favorite reasons is that it has the potential to raise the standing and visibility of fat women at Dimensions in a very public way.
> 
> As well, I like that it would bring all fat women together to discuss their lives as fat women... independent of other concerns. There's so much we can learn by talking to each other. Aside from issues specific to one particular group of fat women, I think there are many experiences that we BBWs have in common. And wouldn't it be great to explore and celebrate all of it.
> 
> Natasfan does not have his own board, btw.



You know I'm with you.....


Errrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmm......I thought he had the paysite board?


----------



## mossystate

Webmaster said:


> A board will probably happen this week as per the proposal I received a while ago.





Someone rep this man for me.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

mossystate said:


> Someone rep this man for me.



Wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ahead of you Monique  


And he is the first man, since my father died, that has actually gotten me to shut up. That alone is worth some rep


----------



## Fascinita

Webmaster said:


> A board will probably happen this week as per the proposal I received a while ago.



I'm throwing in a "thank you" song, as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kO5qwNG4U18

:wubu: :bounce: :happy:



mossystate said:


> Someone rep this man for me.



I did the instant I saw his post. Tonight Conrad has rocked my world. :bow:


----------



## mossystate

Fascinita said:


> I did the instant I saw his post. Tonight Conrad has rocked my world. :bow:




I wasted my rep the other night, when, after viewing the video of his speech, I asked him if he knew he had an accent. Perhaps I squander rep.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Oh hot dam
This is my jam
Keep me partyin till the AM
Ya'll don't understand
Make me throw my hands in the ayer, a-ayer, ayer, a-ayer



Ya'll don't understand......make me throw my hands in the ayer, ayer, ayer!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56l1OL4_sso


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

mossystate said:


> I wasted my rep the other night, when, after viewing the video of his speech, I asked him if he knew he had an accent. Perhaps I squander rep.



Shameless flirt, you are.......


----------



## mossystate

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Shameless flirt, you are.......



You need to air out that part of your brain.


----------



## Fascinita

mossystate said:


> I wasted my rep the other night, when, after viewing the video of his speech, I asked him if he knew he had an accent. Perhaps I squander rep.



I saw that video. Liked it. As I was listening, was wondering to myself if Conrad's comments about FAs listening to what was on fat people's minds didn't bode extremely well for the cause here.  I takes my rose-colored glasses where I finds them. :happy:

Anyway, yay!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

mossystate said:


> You need to air out that part of your brain.



ti hi hi hi hi













!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## mossystate

Fascinita said:


> If the day arrives when the BBW Forum comes to life, I will have the pleasure of slapping you on the back (virtually) and congratulating you as the brains behind the board. When it seemed no one else could see that far, you had the vision to see that a BBW Forum would be helpful to the fat women here, and you spoke for it tirelessly for weeks. I'm still all behind _you_ on it and count on you for posts like this to help keep hope alive, as they say.
> 
> I think it'll be a beautiful thing, either way, when it's all said and done. But you... you are definitely something. :wubu:



Lots of women wanted this. I am just part pit bull. :happy:Woof.


----------



## Fascinita

mossystate said:


> Lots of women wanted this.



It's true. Many made amazing contributions to help shape the vision into something viable. 



> I am just part pit bull. :happy:Woof.



Oh, come here you cute pup, you.... :kiss2:

*tickles belly*


----------



## mossystate

Fascinita said:


> Oh, come here you cute pup, you.... :kiss2:
> 
> *tickles belly*





Get that out of your system. There will be none of it on the new forum. 


* gets on back *


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I'm not going to say what I want to do to Monique.......:wubu: :blush:

































!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## katherine22

Never underestimate what a group of thoughtful fat "bitches" can accomplish. Yes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## mossystate

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I'm not going to say what I want to do to Monique.......:wubu: :blush:
> !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Please just say I won't be featured on an episode of Animal Cops Seattle.

* gulp *


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

mossystate said:


> Please just say I won't be featured on an episode of Animal Cops Seattle.
> 
> * gulp *





Whatever we do.....it will only be seen on the underground.....

Though Fascie and Katherine are allowed to watch anytime.....:wubu:


----------



## olwen

Webmaster said:


> A board will probably happen this week as per the proposal I received a while ago.



Yay! That's awesome! Thanks Conrad.

I have a bunch of thread topics that I've been saving for the board too.


----------



## mergirl

Fascinita said:


> Yes! The proposal requests a public BBW Forum that is for BBWs of all sizes. The possible "private back room" addition to that forum is envisioned as a place where BBWs who desire to discuss certain issues privately--that is, among BBWs only--can do so.
> 
> The forum is envisioned as a place where women who identify as BBWs can meet to discuss--in a moderated, protected environment (as is the FA/FFA Forum, for example)--issues that affect them as BBWs, and their authentic experiences as such.
> 
> Katherine, if you'd like to know anything about the proposal, PM either Green Eyed Fairy or myself.


Hmm..I dont actually identify as a bbw but apparently from a medical perspective i am 'obese'. I wan't to be a part of this new board so i'm going to go with the medical perspective in this instance. I guess if its not a private board it will work kinna like the Fa board in some ways. Except that instead of people not being able to say "why arn't you out the closet" they can't say "Sorry to hear you feel sad but please post a pic of your belly"...
hmm.. on second thoughts..i'm not sure i'm going to participate in this board AT ALL.. but have fun!


----------



## mergirl

Pish aside. This is great news! Well done everyone who pushed for this to happen. x


----------



## Fascinita

mergirl said:


> Hmm..I dont actually identify as a bbw but apparently from a medical perspective i am 'obese'. I wan't to be a part of this new board so i'm going to go with the medical perspective in this instance.



I think everyone who wants to will be able to contribute, though I expect that in a protected board, perspectives that are non-BBW-specific will be moderated--kinda like for FAs on the FA board now.


----------



## D_A_Bunny

Congratulations to us!! This is great news. Thank you Conrad!!


----------



## Miss Vickie

This is great news! Thanks to Conrad and everyone else who made it happen! I can't wait to participate.


----------



## AshleyEileen

I'm excited!


----------



## Hathor

mszwebs said:


> AGAIN.
> 
> The SSBBW board is not up for debate, as it has existed for quite some time.



Then where is it?


----------



## kayrae

it's hidden. ask a mod.


----------



## olwen

kayrae said:


> it's hidden. ask a mod.



which mods?


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

olwen said:


> which mods?



Sandie S-R and BigBeautifulMe


----------



## olwen

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Sandie S-R and BigBeautifulMe



Oh, I misunderstood Kayrae's previous post. I thought she meant the bbw board was hidden, but it's not up yet. Sorry bout that.


----------



## D_A_Bunny

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Sandie S-R and BigBeautifulMe



and SoVerySoft


----------



## Weeze

It's there, it's there, it's there!


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar

Can't post yet, apparently.


----------

