# Why Modern Dating Sux/ fat style



## superodalisque (Apr 5, 2014)

i came across this article. i always hated dating. dating was always bad and getting worse every time i had to. i know i'm not alone. so time to vent. get it out. throw it up. vomit it out. and go back to it ladies  because one day the right one is going to show up. 

PS: complaints don't have to be fat related. 


*18 Ugly Truths About Modern Dating That You Have To Deal With*
APR. 4, 2014 By CHRISTOPHER HUDSPETH



1. The person who cares less has all the power. Nobody wants to be the one who’s more interested.

2. Because we want to show how cavalier and blasé we can be to the other person, little psychological games like &#8216;Intentionally Take Hours Or Days To Text Back’ will happen. They aren’t fun.

3. A person being carefree because they have zero interest in you looks exactly like a person being carefree because they think you’re amazing & are making a conscious effort to play it cool. Good luck deciphering between the two.

4. Making phone calls is a dying art. Chances are, most of your relationship’s communication will happen via text, which is the most detached, impersonal form of interaction. Get familiar with those emoticon options.

5. Set plans are dead. People have options and up-to-the-minute updates on their friends (or other potential romantic interests) whereabouts thanks to texts & social media. If you aren’t the top priority, your invitation to spend time will be given a “Maybe” or “I’ll let you know” and the deciding factor(s) will be if that person has offers more fun/interesting than you on the table.

6. Someone who hurt you isn’t automatically going to have bad karma. At least not in the immediate future. I know it only seems fair, but sometimes people cheat and betray and move on happily while the person they left is in shambles.

7. The only difference between your actions being romantic and creepy is how attractive the other person finds you. That’s it, that’s all.

8. “Let’s chill” & “Wanna hang out?” are vague phrases that likely mean “let’s hookup” — and while you probably hate receiving them, they’re the common way to invite someone to spend time these days, and appear to be here to stay.

9. Some people just want to hookup and if you’re seeking more than sex, they won’t tell you that they’re the wrong person for you. At least, not until after they score your prize. While human decency is ideal, honesty isn’t mandatory.

10. The text message you sent went through. If they didn’t respond, it wasn’t because of malfunctioning phone carrier services.

11. So many people are scared of commitment and being official that they’ll remain in a label-free relationship, which blurs lines and only works until it doesn’t. I’ve said it many times before, I’ll say it again &#8211; “we’re just talking” is opening the door for cheating that technically wasn’t cheating because, hey, you weren’t together together.

12. Social media creates new temptations and opportunities to cheat. The private messaging and options for subtle flirtation (e.g. liking of pictures) aren’t an excuse or validation for cheating, but they certainly increase the chances of it happening.

13. Social media can also create the illusion of having options, which leads to people looking at Facebook as an attractive people menu instead of a means of keeping contact with friends & family.

14. You aren’t likely to see much of someone’s genuine, unfiltered self until you’re in an actual relationship with him or her. Generally people are scared that sincerely putting themselves out there will result in finding out that they’re too available, too anxious, too nerdy, too nice, too safe, too boring, not funny enough, not pretty enough, not some other person enough to be embraced.

15. Any person you get romantically involved with you’ll either wind up staying with forever or breaking up with them at some point. These are equally terrifying concepts.

16. When dating, instead of expressing how they feel directly to you, a person is more likely to post a Facebook status or Instagram a Tumblr-esque photo of a sunset with a quote or song lyric of someone else’s words on it, and while it may not mention your name, it’s blatantly directed at you.

17. There are plenty of people who’ll have zero respect for your relationship and if they want the person you’re with, they’ll have no qualms with trying to overstep boundaries to get to &#8216;em. Girl code and guy code are wishful thinking and human code isn’t embedded in everyone.

18. If you get dumped, it’s probably going to be pretty brutal. People can cut ties over the phone and avoid seeing the tears stream down your face or end things via text and avoid hearing the pain in your cracking voice and sniffling nose. Send a lengthy text and voilà, relationship over. The easy way out is far from the most considerate.


----------



## AuntHen (Apr 5, 2014)

Some of these really tickled me. Probably because it's become so true 


#16 haha


----------



## superodalisque (Apr 5, 2014)

fat9276 said:


> Some of these really tickled me. Probably because it's become so true
> 
> 
> #16 haha



lol #16 always makes me wonder if they are multi tasking with several people who all think it's about them too.

makes me want to sing that old song " Say My Name" by Destiny's Child. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQgd6MccwZc


----------



## bigmac (Apr 6, 2014)

For the most part these are nothing new -- just some new methods of doing what people have always done (I remember having to pay my little brother to answer the phone when I didn't want a girl to know I was home).


----------



## loopytheone (Apr 6, 2014)

I will never understand people who play games like that. Also, I have never met a single person who does that. I have dated a few people in my time and they have always been honest about wanting relationships, eager and willing to spend time with me. Maybe I have just been lucky?


----------



## MrSensible (Apr 6, 2014)

loopytheone said:


> I will never understand people who play games like that. Also, I have never met a single person who does that. I have dated a few people in my time and they have always been honest about wanting relationships, eager and willing to spend time with me. Maybe I have just been lucky?



I'm with you on that.



superodalisque said:


> 10. The text message you sent went through. If they didnt respond, it wasnt because of malfunctioning phone carrier services.



Also, I get the point he's trying to make here, but this is actually a legitimate issue for some of us living on the outskirts of town. I typically only get about 1 bar of service where I live and I've had texts take an upwards of 12 hours or more to get to me; even some that I never received at all. If I ever ignore a text, it certainly isn't by choice.


----------



## J34 (Apr 6, 2014)

Wish this was in the main board (hope I'm not overstepping my bounds by responding here)

Seems the modern condition of things. Never understood these games people play. 

Although I am quite guilty of #4, the only reason is I just loathe talking on the phone. I enjoy talking to someone face to face or on Skype if it permits. Almost all my phone calls with everyone I know generally lasts under 3 minutes 99% of the time.


----------



## NewfieGal (Apr 6, 2014)

I laughed at the article basically cause so much of it is true, I've never done any of those things but have had some of them done to me... I don't find text messages impersonal myself sometimes life is busy and you have time to shoot a text when you have a few seconds to say I'm thinking about you but not time for a 10 min convo I'm not one to talk on the phone but I do text alot to keep in touch with my friends and family ... dating is what you make of it and it's the only way sometimes to get to know the other person it is a necessary evil but remember sometimes things work out for the good


----------



## superodalisque (Apr 6, 2014)

gentle reminder that this is the BBW forum. thanks guys for your insight but this is meant for the ladies


----------



## superodalisque (Apr 6, 2014)

since i'm an older chic texting has never really a part of my habits which is probably one of the reasons i really never cared to date younger guys. one guy would text me many times a day. another younger guy i did try out was also texting all of the time. when i'm out i just don't have time for all of that. i have stuff to do. when i'm home if they can't call me too bad. i like to hear what people mean in their voices.


----------



## MrSensible (Apr 7, 2014)

superodalisque said:


> gentle reminder that this is the BBW forum. thanks guys for your insight but this is meant for the ladies



Oops, my apologies. I'm new to this part of the board and I should have taken to the time to read the rules first. Lesson learned.


----------



## bigmac (Apr 7, 2014)

superodalisque said:


> gentle reminder that this is the BBW forum. thanks guys for your insight but this is meant for the ladies



Its not a female topic. Indeed the quoted article was written by a man. Its an interesting topic posted in the wrong place.


----------



## superodalisque (Apr 7, 2014)

bigmac said:


> Its not a female topic. Indeed the quoted article was written by a man. Its an interesting topic posted in the wrong place.



actually that is the reason i posted it here. i didn't want it to degenerate into a man against woman debate. so anybody interested in that can take that position elsewhere. that means you


----------



## superodalisque (Apr 7, 2014)

MrSensible said:


> Oops, my apologies. I'm new to this part of the board and I should have taken to the time to read the rules first. Lesson learned.



actually i really appreciated your post, unfortunately not everyone is going to be as thoughtful as you are. it would be great if you posted a brother piece in the FA forum so that one would not degenerate into a battle of the sexes either.


----------



## NewfieGal (Apr 7, 2014)

You know if people were more honest and open dating wouldn't suck quite so much instead of avoiding each other sending stupid texts or not answering the phone just say I'm sorry I'm just not that into you at least then you could suck it up and move on lol


----------



## FatAndProud (May 4, 2014)

I haaaaaaate the carefree waiting games!


----------

