# How do men really feel about overweight women?



## superodalisque (Jan 6, 2014)

looking for something a little encouraging? a friend of mine found this string of at least somewhat positive comments showing that there are quite a few men who are not as voraciously adverse to fat women as a lot seem to think. i've been saying this for years but nobody will believe me :doh: but never mind me. what do you think?


PS: this is NOT from a fat site

*How do men really feel about overweight women?
If a woman is overweight, would a guy still ask her out?

*http://www.quora.com/Dating-and-Relationships-1/How-do-men-really-feel-about-overweight-women#


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Jan 6, 2014)

Overweight women are the bomb! One day I am going to marry one and have a bunch of kids.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Jan 6, 2014)

This is admittedly anecdotal evidence, but take it for what it's worth. For several years I had an office that overlooked the central gathering place of my university (most colleges would call it "the quad"; since it is actually oval in shape, we call it...get ready for this..."the oval"). My desk was by the window, and I put in hundred of hours of scholarly research, aka girl-watching. The slender nymphs would pass in their twos and threes, but the fat girls were almost _invariably_ accompanied by an attentive male. This was so regularly the case that it impressed itself on me, and I came to wonder, long before I discovered Dims, if there were such a thing as FA-dom. I'm convinced that there is, and that it gains countless eager recruits every year.


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## bbwbud (Jan 6, 2014)

How do I feel about overweight women? Usually with my hands, but I'm not averse to using a variety of other parts as well. :eat2::smitten:


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## Dromond (Jan 6, 2014)

I have to give up my e-mail address to read the story. I'm not doing that.


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## CleverBomb (Jan 6, 2014)

Dromond said:


> I have to give up my e-mail address to read the story. I'm not doing that.


Bugmenot.com could probably help you with that.


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## tonynyc (Jan 6, 2014)

Dromond said:


> I have to give up my e-mail address to read the story. I'm not doing that.



*same here.... not worth doing!!!!
*


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## superodalisque (Jan 7, 2014)

tonynyc said:


> *same here.... not worth doing!!!!
> *



try CBs link and see if you can get in without it. i usually copy and paste big chunks of things but this site won't let me.


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## Dromond (Jan 8, 2014)

CleverBomb said:


> Bugmenot.com could probably help you with that.



This is great. I was able to use a login from Bugmenot to access the page.


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## edvis (Jan 18, 2014)

There's a stupid, ignorant saying about mopeds and fat women I won't repeat. It's disapointment that so many guys mostly young atheletic ones and yes even some heavier ones have the attitude of "no fat chicks." It's more of a mindset more than anything else. Sort of like they want to go with the flow of what their buddies think. I've always tried to be different and found that going against the flow is good. So many ppl put themselves in a box and limit themselves by not being open to other body types. So yes, it is encouraging to see some positives comments.


superodalisque said:


> looking for something a little encouraging? a friend of mine found this string of at least somewhat positive comments showing that there are quite a few men who are not as voraciously adverse to fat women as a lot seem to think. i've been saying this for years but nobody will believe me :doh: but never mind me. what do you think?
> 
> 
> PS: this is NOT from a fat site
> ...


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## edvis (Jan 18, 2014)

Me too! 


bbwbud said:


> How do I feel about overweight women? Usually with my hands, but I'm not averse to using a variety of other parts as well. :eat2::smitten:


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## snuggletiger (Jan 21, 2014)

I've always dated BBWs so I really can't relate to the original article.


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## lucca23v2 (Feb 15, 2014)

On the suggestion of an ex I have been writing short "stories".. he says not sharing my naughty thoughts is a shame. whatever. So I wrote a story with a BBW as the point of sexual desire and posted it in a non-bbw site with info to contact me with comments and critiques. I honestly didn't think it would get any views but I had promised my ex I would so I did. Surprisingly..n the 10 days the story has been up it has almost 10,000 views. I started to get responses and comments. I was thrilled, but upset at the same time. All of these men say the same thing. They love bbws, but don't like to admit it to friends because they don'y want to have to explain or be made fun of. 

I am really happy and excited about the change going on. That more men and dating bbws, but it is still frustrating to see some people still that ignorant. Thank God for those brave enough to say this is what I like and screw what anyone else thinks.


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## Dromond (Feb 15, 2014)

You have to wonder how many of these fearful bbw lovers are in the same social groups.


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## superodalisque (Feb 15, 2014)

lucca23v2 said:


> On the suggestion of an ex I have been writing short "stories".. he says not sharing my naughty thoughts is a shame. whatever. So I wrote a story with a BBW as the point of sexual desire and posted it in a non-bbw site with info to contact me with comments and critiques. I honestly didn't think it would get any views but I had promised my ex I would so I did. Surprisingly..n the 10 days the story has been up it has almost 10,000 views. I started to get responses and comments. I was thrilled, but upset at the same time. All of these men say the same thing. They love bbws, but don't like to admit it to friends because they don'y want to have to explain or be made fun of.
> 
> I am really happy and excited about the change going on. That more men and dating bbws, but it is still frustrating to see some people still that ignorant. Thank God for those brave enough to say this is what I like and screw what anyone else thinks.



i had an old dating site ad up and when i went to check i had all of these other encouraging messages too from guys who said they aren't necessarily attracted to fat women but... something is changing. it's good to see it. i never got any negative messages but what i do like is when someone not even attracted to me takes the time to write and tell me that i am beautiful. people can be really nice and not all men are mean evil selfish attack dogs when it comes to women outside of their attraction zone. just that is a really good thing to know in a concrete way. if someone is not even attracted but they still take the time to wish me well that is great. i sent them ty hugs back.


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## lcc42 (May 30, 2014)

If I were single, I would definitely consider asking an overweight woman out. My wife is 5' tall and 302 pounds with many curves and I still find her more attractive each day!


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (May 30, 2014)

lucca23v2 said:


> On the suggestion of an ex I have been writing short "stories".. he says not sharing my naughty thoughts is a shame. whatever. So I wrote a story with a BBW as the point of sexual desire and posted it in a non-bbw site with info to contact me with comments and critiques. I honestly didn't think it would get any views but I had promised my ex I would so I did. Surprisingly..n the 10 days the story has been up it has almost 10,000 views. I started to get responses and comments. I was thrilled, but upset at the same time. All of these men say the same thing. They love bbws, but don't like to admit it to friends because they don'y want to have to explain or be made fun of.
> 
> I am really happy and excited about the change going on. That more men and dating bbws, but it is still frustrating to see some people still that ignorant. Thank God for those brave enough to say this is what I like and screw what anyone else thinks.



The men on this board do not represent all men who like BBWs. They are only a small part of a much larger world. A lot of men like BBWs. In the black community, it really is not a big deal the way it is in the white community. There are plenty of men in our community who are not in the closet. I can't speak for the guys on here.


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## Tracyarts (May 30, 2014)

" what do you think? "

Well, I know a LOT of overweight women. I live in an area where a significant percentage of the population is overweight. Most women I know are at least on the high end of average sized. Of all those women, only a handful participate in or even know about size acceptance, the fat community, FAs, etc... Yet most of them have had no problem finding partners (be they of the casual or committed variety). 

In my personal experience, being overweight isn't a deal breaker. It's not necessarily a deal maker either. For a lot of the men involved with fat women, it's neither here nor there. They're looking for a partner, and weight isn't high enough on the priority list to rule out a women who is otherwise a good match for them.


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (May 30, 2014)

Tracyarts said:


> " what do you think? "
> 
> Well, I know a LOT of overweight women. I live in an area where a significant percentage of the population is overweight. Most women I know are at least on the high end of average sized. Of all those women, only a handful participate in or even know about size acceptance, the fat community, FAs, etc... Yet most of them have had no problem finding partners (be they of the casual or committed variety).
> 
> In my personal experience, being overweight isn't a deal breaker. It's not necessarily a deal maker either. For a lot of the men involved with fat women, it's neither here nor there. They're looking for a partner, and weight isn't high enough on the priority list to rule out a women who is otherwise a good match for them.



The nice thing about living in your part of the country is that being overweight is not such a big deal. Up here in Maryland, DC, Virginia, and also in NY, NJ and New England, it's a very big deal. I really don't understand it either, as I do not understand any form of discrimination. I see plenty of chubby and obese black women who have no trouble finding partners; it's the white women who are having all the problems. I know a lot of overweight women, and some of my friends punish themselves daily with exercise because they think that no man will want them or because their employers are pressuring them to become wafer-thin. It's really ridiculous. I hope that the weight loss industry fails in its quest to undermine every woman's self-esteem and make her a slave to the gospel of self-punishment masquerading as a weight loss crusade.


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## The Orange Mage (May 30, 2014)

edvis said:


> There's a stupid, ignorant saying about mopeds and fat women I won't repeat.



mopeds are pretty neat but it's somewhat ironic that they are pretty awful at carrying fat chicks at any decent speed, assuming your run-of-the-mill 50cc moped. :doh:


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## superodalisque (Jun 1, 2014)

CurvaceousBBWLover said:


> The nice thing about living in your part of the country is that being overweight is not such a big deal. Up here in Maryland, DC, Virginia, and also in NY, NJ and New England, it's a very big deal. I really don't understand it either, as I do not understand any form of discrimination. I see plenty of chubby and obese black women who have no trouble finding partners; it's the white women who are having all the problems. I know a lot of overweight women, and some of my friends punish themselves daily with exercise because they think that no man will want them or because their employers are pressuring them to become wafer-thin. It's really ridiculous. I hope that the weight loss industry fails in its quest to undermine every woman's self-esteem and make her a slave to the gospel of self-punishment masquerading as a weight loss crusade.




the whole question of why it is different is interesting and one i have never quite figured out. i'm not so sure if the north is more fat negative because i've lived in MA and PA and spent lots of time in NYC etc... i didn't get a hard time for my weight even in the 80s when i spent a few summers in NYC staying with my older brother. could it partially be the expectation? here in the south you aren't raised to feel that everybody is out to get you as a woman. as a man if you are seen as competing with women for some kind of dominance or control you're looked at as weak. it's fully acknowledged here that men have the social culture and power edge already. so any decent man is supposed to be protective of women. 

as a woman in the south you don't automatically assume that your body is absolutely everybody else's business. in fact if a man comments on a woman's body somebody who cares about her like her brother cousins friends BF or even a stranger will be very likely to beat them up or at least warn them for stepping out of line. so all women here are generally freer in their bodies no matter their size. older women wear shorts tank tops swim suits at the beach and public pool etc.. and no one thinks twice either. there might be something about the north that makes it okay to assumes that all women no matter their age size or relationship is somehow their own personal sexual property. i can't say exactly here it comes from. 

it's possible that since white women in the north have always been more vocal about being competitive economically and have been out there striving for their economic independence they get attacked more. in other words, they won't stay in their place. i notice among my white female friends that the more successful they are the more likely men are to pick at them about their body. it would go a long way to explain why NYC appears to be a hot bed for that kind of behavior.

all i know is the years i spent living in the north i didn't have to deal with that kind of discrimination. i often wonder if it was because i didn't expect it or open that door at all because of my own socialization. or, is it that other people even northerners have a different expectation of what i would tolerate because i am a southerner. also as you said race would have played into it. if you call a black woman fat it's not nearly as emotionally devastating for her and that is the whole point. i have never heard a black man call a black woman he was with a pig etc... if he were to another black man would be quick to scoop that woman up and take her of a stupid man's hands. and in the north it is also considered very bad form to harass a black woman since the slavery rape memory has put us totally out the grasp of white male's public lustful expectations. i might be wrong but it's my experience that white males who are closeted and even in open relationships with fat women in the north often do or say absolutely nothing to defend fat women on the street or in institutional settings. but i think it might help people a little to consider that many aren't actually concerned about body size at all but just the power to hurt because they somehow feel like a failure. 

it' strange sad and unfortunate to me that i often see more fat women defended publicly by men who aren't even attracted to them.


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## ed1980 (Jun 1, 2014)

This post remembered me of one small unimportant event that happened to me a couple of years ago. 

Once me and my girlfriend at the time went out to a bar with a girl that used to study with me and her boyfriend. That girl was a very nice girl, nice heart and great friend, but used to have a problem with body fat in a woman's body. She was very thin and once told me that for her it was such a big deal that she has once almost died of anorexia as a teenager.

In the middle of conversation I mentioned that besides being dating a relatively thin woman at the time, I had a thing (still have) on being with quite large women. 

She said something like "I don't understand you men, this guy over here (and pointed a finger towards her boyfriend) previous girlfriend used to be so big that her arm were twice the side of my thighs". The guy, in response, hugged her and told that he loved this feature on his former girlfriend and that he loved my friend's body for the exact opposite reason. After this the talk took another direction.

As I said it is something small, but for me, it kind of shows a lot of men's attitudes towards fat women ... They have absolutely nothing against them!


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## KittyKitten (Jun 4, 2014)

It sounds cliche, but I know if an overweight woman carries herself like she is "the bomb", men will naturally flock to her. I know I love my figure and dress to accent it. I never ever had trouble finding a date.


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## CleverBomb (Jun 4, 2014)

The Orange Mage said:


> mopeds are pretty neat but it's somewhat ironic that they are pretty awful at carrying fat chicks at any decent speed, assuming your run-of-the-mill 50cc moped. :doh:


Indeed they are, on both counts.

For larger women (and men), I wouldn't recommend a motorbike of less than 150cc except for initial orientation (basic balance and operation practice), because the small bikes are lightweight and don't go all that fast. Once that's mastered, 150cc is the absolute minimum I'd suggest, and probably 200-300cc+ would be more like it (and likely a better fit).

If _you're_ doing the riding and carrying a larger passenger, you want at least 600cc -- or preferably, more -- unless you're not in a hurry and/or live somewhere flat. Verify that the seats will accommodate both of you, though -- some are a bit on the small (front-back length) side. And while a cargo box or passenger backrest might provide a bit of "not going to fall off the back" confidence, it may also force a bottom-heavy passenger too far forward to leave any room for you up front. For a guy, straddling the gas tank instead of the seat is exactly as uncomfortable as you imagine it is... 

Oh, and take the Motorcycle Safety Foundation Basic Rider Course -- pass it and you only need to take the written test at the DMV, not the riding test. And you learn important details of how motorbikes handle and how to ride better. Insurance companies will usually give you a discount for it, too.

Yeah, bit of a digression there. Sorry! But I used to own a moped, which I thought was a pretty nifty thing at the time. In retrospect, it still was pretty nifty.


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## superodalisque (Jun 5, 2014)

i have a left field question. is it my imagination or do military men have a much less difficult time having a fat gf/wife? i just get that impression. maybe facing life and death in it's true sense makes them not give a damn what other people think. is it my imagination?


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## Dromond (Jun 5, 2014)

superodalisque said:


> i have a left field question. is it my imagination or do military men have a much less difficult time having a fat gf/wife? i just get that impression. maybe facing life and death in it's true sense makes them not give a damn what other people think. is it my imagination?



My guess (and it is just a guess) would be that the military instills confidence in their personnel. A member of any branch of the service who lacks self confidence won't get past basic training. Insecurities are what cause guys to shy away from openly dating fat women. Fear of what others will think. Even those service people who have never been in combat zones have the "I don't give a fuck" attitude that comes with the self confidence of military training.


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## KHayes666 (Jun 5, 2014)

superodalisque said:


> i have a left field question. is it my imagination or do military men have a much less difficult time having a fat gf/wife? i just get that impression. maybe facing life and death in it's true sense makes them not give a damn what other people think. is it my imagination?



One of my oldest friends recently was discharged from the military and his wife is a bbw. I don't think the attraction has anything to do with getting shot at, more like he loves her giant booty. I can't speak for him of course but I doubt I'm wrong.


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## Joeyarrington (Jun 5, 2014)

superodalisque said:


> i have a left field question. is it my imagination or do military men have a much less difficult time having a fat gf/wife? i just get that impression. maybe facing life and death in it's true sense makes them not give a damn what other people think. is it my imagination?



I live in a military town, raised in a military family and see military families more commonly than civilian families and I find your observation to be totally true. My late dear mother was an BBW Army Wife of 29 years who was adored and cherished by my father. He never called her fat or mocked her weight. He proudly took her to military balls/galas/platoon picnics to dance, take pics, socialize. The way he treated my mom set the example for my attitudes toward full figured women and long term relationships in general.


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## StickMan (Jun 6, 2014)

Considering how much of the general population is overweight now, if men didn't at least accept BBWs we'd be in pretty bad shape as a species, wouldn't we?


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## liz (di-va) (Jun 7, 2014)

StickMan said:


> Considering how much of the general population is overweight now, if men didn't at least accept BBWs we'd be in pretty bad shape as a species, wouldn't we?



Yes. And yet...


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## Forgotten_Futures (Jun 7, 2014)

liz (di-va) said:


> Yes. And yet...



We're in pretty bad shape as a species = P

OT, I think the majority of men do have an inherent interest in/attraction towards... I'm not going to say "overweight" women, but definitely ones with curves. Most of this is biologically hardcoded from times when we didn't have the health and food security we do today (simply put, a fat woman can survive better in times of famine than a thin one - especially important if famine strikes while the woman is with child). Most people, however, have had these natural impulses overridden, or at least obscured, by modern societal norms. The more recent rise of obesity in the American population is beginning to chip away at this veil, but I don't think it will ever go away completely, certainly not as long as anyone feels they aren't wanted by a decent chunk of their population of interest.


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## superodalisque (Jun 7, 2014)

Forgotten_Futures said:


> We're in pretty bad shape as a species = P
> 
> OT, I think the majority of men do have an inherent interest in/attraction towards... I'm not going to say "overweight" women, but definitely ones with curves. Most of this is biologically hardcoded from times when we didn't have the health and food security we do today (simply put, a fat woman can survive better in times of famine than a thin one - especially important if famine strikes while the woman is with child). Most people, however, have had these natural impulses overridden, or at least obscured, by modern societal norms. The more recent rise of obesity in the American population is beginning to chip away at this veil, but I don't think it will ever go away completely, certainly not as long as anyone feels they aren't wanted by a decent chunk of their population of interest.



i think it's already dead for the most part IRL. it's pretty much only the media, misogynists, personal trainers and diet aid salesmen who are trying to keep it rolling. even they are always showing and looking at semi naked fat bodies every time they get a chance because that is what people are drawn to , whether they admit it or not. it's holding on by it's fingernails. and that's why savvy companies are pushing all of this real women business. that is where the money is in the future. follow the money. a lot of women who traded on being skinny back in my heyday are older now and extremely pissed. they are small and they have diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer, plus osteoporosis and they look like death warmed over next to fat women their age. it's galling to them that after all of their hard work and self denial that older fat women are being chased down by wen who once ran after them. they gave up the pleasure of food for what? and on top of it they are less likely to survive a catastrophic illness because they don't have enough fat in reserve to fuel their bodies. fat americans mean money now. they aren't going to continue spending their money with people who make them feel bad about themselves. negative reinforcement does not work--never has.


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## bigmac (Jun 8, 2014)

superodalisque said:


> i have a left field question. is it my imagination or do military men have a much less difficult time having a fat gf/wife? i just get that impression. maybe facing life and death in it's true sense makes them not give a damn what other people think. is it my imagination?



Its been my experience that there are lots of enlisted men and NCOs with fat wives. Officers not so much. I'm thinking there is more pressure on officers to conform.


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## superodalisque (Jun 8, 2014)

bigmac said:


> Its been my experience that there are lots of enlisted men and NCOs with fat wives. Officers not so much. I'm thinking there is more pressure on officers to conform.



dunno about that. i see a lot of officers with fat wives too in my job. they have more time and money to get fat with for one thing.


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## Forgotten_Futures (Jun 9, 2014)

All I know is, I thoroughly appreciate the growing (pun intended) preponderance (pun also intended) of thick, chunky, chubby, soft, squishy, et al young women in my normal environment = P


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## luvmybhm (Jun 14, 2014)

superodalisque said:


> i have a left field question. is it my imagination or do military men have a much less difficult time having a fat gf/wife? i just get that impression. maybe facing life and death in it's true sense makes them not give a damn what other people think. is it my imagination?



you know...i noticed that too! I did read a very sad/bad post online once regarding this topic. It was not very bbw friendly. It pretty much said military men choose big girls a) because they will be better moms and more stable to raise kids while they are away, b)less likely to get hit on/cheat while the husbands are away and c) the guys have major egos and bbw are so needy it boosts their need 'to be the man.' i want to believe it is because military men are more secure in themselves and know a good girl when they see one 

related to the how men feel about women in general topic, i have to agree with KittyKitten. If a girl carries herself well and rocks what she's got...then men, fa or not, will be attracted to them. I dated regularly before I settled down. most were men who would probably have no idea of what FA meant. I met them in the stores, bars, on non-size related websites, etc.

I married a man who was not an FA (he had no idea what that was the first time he saw me posting on dims) and whose first wife was very small. He just couldn't resist me :kiss2:

i think men have a split in what they desire...the unattainable super model women that they dream about and watch on porn and what type of woman they actually want to settle down with. i think depending on where they are in their dating/settling down cycle, it will vary on what they aim for.


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## bigmac (Jun 14, 2014)

Its been my experience that most guys have a range. If a woman is within that range size is not an issue. A guy whose range is 95 to 130 pounds would consider a 150 pound woman too fat to date. A guy whose range is 200 to 450 pounds would consider the same woman too thin to date. Most guys have a range that encompasses a large percentage of the female population.


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## superodalisque (Jun 14, 2014)

bigmac said:


> Its been my experience that most guys have a range. If a woman is within that range size is not an issue. A guy whose range is 95 to 130 pounds would consider a 150 pound woman too fat to date. A guy whose range is 200 to 450 pounds would consider the same woman too thin to date. Most guys have a range that encompasses a large percentage of the female population.



ranges are a goofy unemotional unrealistic concept that threatens men's happiness. the people who even came up with those ideas are the fakers who sell sexual gamesmanship to insecure failures with women online. it sounds just like that crazy dumb stuff that the San Diego shooter and his surviving friends talk about. it's immature. it's the language of men who don't have much experience with actual women just cartoons and video games. it's the language of institutions who want to break men down into markets they can sell something to --mainly porn. tg a lot of men never buy into it wholesale and just do whatever the heck they want to do. 

people need to go with the flow and be with a PERSON they are attracted to and that does not exclude physicality. life is not a formula. life is whatever comes to you that you enjoy without regard to what anyone else thinks. the idea of ranges is a pretense to go around talking about women's bodies in some kind of an entitled proprietary way. if those ranges were true then men's preferences wouldn't change over their lifetime. real people learn evolve experience and change. where there is no growth there is no life--biology 101.


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## bigmac (Jun 14, 2014)

Its not nearly as complicated as you're trying to make it out. If a guy sees a female and finds her physically attractive (i.e. within his range) a relationship *may* work. If the female is not within his range he will not find her physically attractive and therefore not relationship material for him.

Sexual attraction is a physical thing. Compatibility and other extras make a potential mate more attractive but will not save the day if there is no basic physical attraction to start with. As the song goes "you and me ain't nothing but mammals."


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## Dromond (Jun 14, 2014)

Numbers on a scale mean nothing. It's how much cushion he likes that should determine attractiveness. A man who is focused on the numbers is a man who will never be happy.


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## bigmac (Jun 15, 2014)

Dromond said:


> Numbers on a scale mean nothing. It's how much cushion he likes that should determine attractiveness. A man who is focused on the numbers is a man who will never be happy.



Numbers are just a shorthand -- no one's carrying a scale around with them. The fact remains some guys will find some women too fat and some guys will find some women too thin.


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## bigmac (Jun 15, 2014)

superodalisque said:


> ranges are a goofy unemotional unrealistic concept that threatens men's happiness. the people who even came up with those ideas are the fakers who sell sexual gamesmanship to insecure failures with women online. it sounds just like that crazy dumb stuff that the San Diego shooter and his surviving friends talk about. it's immature. it's the language of men who don't have much experience with actual women just cartoons and video games. it's the language of institutions who want to break men down into markets they can sell something to --mainly porn. tg a lot of men never buy into it wholesale and just do whatever the heck they want to do.
> 
> ....



??? RUFKM ??? People have physical types they're attracted to. That's just a fact of life. For a sexual relationship to work both parties have to be withing the parameters of the other party's type. That is Biology 101.

This thread is about weight. With that in mind I can say there are women out there who in my estimation are too thin to be physically attractive and also women who are in my estimation too fat to be physically attractive. However, there are also many other factors that work the same way. For example, there are women out there who don't have enough ambition for my liking -- and also women who are so ambitious that I'd never be able to keep up.

I'm not sure how you associate being honest with being sexually inept. From my point of view just the opposite is true.


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## superodalisque (Jun 15, 2014)

bigmac said:


> Numbers are just a shorthand -- no one's carrying a scale around with them. The fact remains some guys will find some women too fat and some guys will find some women too thin.



numbers are nothing when it comes to real people. numbers won't tell you if they are an asshole.


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## superodalisque (Jun 15, 2014)

bigmac said:


> ??? RUFKM ??? People have physical types they're attracted to. That's just a fact of life. For a sexual relationship to work both parties have to be withing the parameters of the other party's type. That is Biology 101.
> 
> This thread is about weight. With that in mind I can say there are women out there who in my estimation are too thin to be physically attractive and also women who are in my estimation too fat to be physically attractive. However, there are also many other factors that work the same way. For example, there are women out there who don't have enough ambition for my liking -- and also women who are so ambitious that I'd never be able to keep up.
> 
> I'm not sure how you associate being honest with being sexually inept. From my point of view just the opposite is true.



what/or who people like isn't set in stone or dictated totally by numbers. people learn to like many things through their experiences or some kind of mental change that they never may have thought of before. there are no rules. 

the point is just one person's opinion does not establish the end all and be all of attractiveness for anyone or even how ideas of attractiveness function. what someone personally doesn't care for someone else might absolutely love. and we might find one thing attractive at one point in time and feel something else at another time. there are lots of people whose ideas change over time. 

disapproval is not constructive and it is pointless. why would anyone go out of their way to describe those they disapprove of except as a way to make someone they don't even know feel bad? 

it is possible to talk about attractiveness without putting someone else down. often i find people who are very interested in putting other people down or disapproving are doing so because they are personally insecure about their own bodies, just like those boys who thought they were too small, too asian or not muscular enough. they missed the entire point that they were not mainly unattractive for any of those things. those are things that people can often live without and be totally happy. they were mainly unattractive because they were immature jerks who hadn't grown up.

i know a lot of women society considers to be very beautiful accomplished women of the type they spoke about who are with guys just like them and they have absolutely no money. these guys read too many graphic novels and looked at too much porn and took it for truth over the real world because the real world scares the hell out of them because they have to be grown men take total responsibility for the things they do and how they act and how they are perceived. it's a hard thing for a lot of folks to admit they are unattractive mainly because they have a crappy hateful personality and they are not nice people. it's also hard for them to recognize that smart women don't want men who need them to be a trophy or a prop because they have little to no self esteem on their own. what they accuse other people of is usually exactly what they are. they whine about people being surface and materialistic because that is what they actually are. that is how they approach the world so they think everyone else is the same.

those guys were both honest and exceptionally misogynistic, socially and emotionally inept. those characteristics are not mutually exclusive. it's highly possible to be all of those things at one time.


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## bigmac (Jun 15, 2014)

superodalisque said:


> what/or who people like isn't set in stone or dictated totally by numbers. people learn to like many things through their experiences or some kind of mental change that they never may have thought of before. there are no rules.



Rules no -- preferences yes! And sexual preferences are pretty immutable. People may come out of a closet but that doesn't mean a basic preference changed -- it just mean that they're being more open about it. 





...



superodalisque said:


> it is possible to talk about attractiveness without putting someone else down. often i find people who are very interested in putting other people down or disapproving are doing so because they are personally insecure about their own bodies, just like those boys who thought they were too small, too asian or not muscular enough. they missed the entire point that they were not mainly unattractive for any of those things. those are things that people can often live without and be totally happy. they were mainly unattractive because they were immature jerks who hadn't grown up.



Sorry but looks matter. If you're a guy and are not traditionally good looking the chances of dating a sorority girl named Buffy or Babs is remote. That doesn't mean you're going to end up a homicidal virgin. However, if you're only attracted plastic coeds life is going to be damn frustrating.

... 




superodalisque said:


> i know a lot of women society considers to be very beautiful accomplished women of the type they spoke about who are with guys just like them and they have absolutely no money. these guys read too many graphic novels and looked at too much porn and took it for truth over the real world because the real world scares the hell out of them because they have to be grown men take total responsibility for the things they do and how they act and how they are perceived. it's a hard thing for a lot of folks to admit they are unattractive mainly because they have a crappy hateful personality and they are not nice people. it's also hard for them to recognize that smart women don't want men who need them to be a trophy or a prop because they have little to no self esteem on their own. what they accuse other people of is usually exactly what they are. they whine about people being surface and materialistic because that is what they actually are. that is how they approach the world so they think everyone else is the same.



Perhaps your beautiful accomplished friends should have quantified what they wanted in a mate before falling for such losers. 




superodalisque said:


> those guys were both honest and exceptionally misogynistic, socially and emotionally inept. those characteristics are not mutually exclusive. it's highly possible to be all of those things at one time.



If refusing to buy into the we're all beautiful and special new age BS makes me emotionally inept then I guess I'm emotionally inept.


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## superodalisque (Jun 15, 2014)

bigmac said:


> Rules no -- preferences yes! And sexual preferences are pretty immutable. People may come out of a closet but that doesn't mean a basic preference changed -- it just mean that they're being more open about it.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



sexual preferences are immutable but liking fat people is not a sexual preference. sexual preference is related to gender identity and precursor to the term sexual orientation. being LGBT, pan sexual, asexual or heterosexual are sexual preferences. fat people are not a third sex. being fat isn't a separate gender. sexual attractions are not immutable they can and do change over time. most people are not locked into only being attracted to being to someone who is tall short fat thin blonde brunette or blue or brown eyed over the entirety of their lifetime. some might be but that is a minority who are so sexually specific. 

we don't have to buy into we're all beautiful thing if we don't want to but we also just don't need to go out of our way to go around pointing fingers at people we aren't attracted to. it's not necessary and it's pointless. there are people who are attracted to those people and that makes other people's lack of attraction a moot point as far as anyone's actual attractiveness is concerned. discussing size isn't a license to go off on other people's bodies negatively. 

it's so easy to say that "i really like X,Y, or Z and say nothing at all about what we aren't interested in. if someone is not interested no comment is needed. i would have expected people to understand that who are always grousing about women who go around talking about how much they aren't attracted to fat men. i think women who do that are just as messed up as any guy is who does the same. there is something wrong with someone who takes every last opportunity to talk about who doesn't want fat people.

it's really time to stop unnecessarily freakifying fat folk. we aren't aliens with some unknown ambiguous genitalia. we're just fat.


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## pagan22 (Jun 16, 2014)

I had a huge culture shock when I moved from Michigan to Alabama. Up north fat women are abhorred. Down South they are damn near worshiped. I have met so many people, all sexes, who simply love a big woman in the South. 

I am a white girl with a huge booty and hips. I always felt ashamed of my size and shape until I moved. Now I feel more confident. I'm planning to move within the next few years to St Pete, FL where my dad lives. I haven't noticed a lot of chubby anyone down here. I have seen lots of gyms, boot camps, and plastic surgeons though. I feel like the fattest girl in that state when I visit. I'm equally enthralled and ashamed. 

At least it is a kick in the rear end to get in better shape, but whether I lose the weight or not, well, I don't care. 

In the nonwhite world, those men grew up in a culture where big women are embraced. In white culture, it is a push to remain slim and athletic. It's why I have a damndest time trying to date (when my weird job allows it), because of my personal preferences for men. 

Frankly, unless a white male was born and raised down South, I don't see the BBW lover coming out any time soon.


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## superodalisque (Jun 16, 2014)

pagan22 said:


> I had a huge culture shock when I moved from Michigan to Alabama. Up north fat women are abhorred. Down South they are damn near worshiped. I have met so many people, all sexes, who simply love a big woman in the South.
> 
> I am a white girl with a huge booty and hips. I always felt ashamed of my size and shape until I moved. Now I feel more confident. I'm planning to move within the next few years to St Pete, FL where my dad lives. I haven't noticed a lot of chubby anyone down here. I have seen lots of gyms, boot camps, and plastic surgeons though. I feel like the fattest girl in that state when I visit. I'm equally enthralled and ashamed.
> 
> ...




i live in st pete. there are a lot of gyms and plastic surgeons etc... but there are also a whole lot of fat people. all of us fat folk are taken. the interesting thing is that a lot of guys come here from the north and since it's so acceptable here you find a lot of people dating fat folk who always wanted to. most people could care less. they are too busy concentrating on the person they're personally attracted to to be judging what somebody else likes. this place is the kind of place people come to to be themselves.


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## pagan22 (Jun 16, 2014)

superodalisque said:


> i live in st pete. there are a lot of gyms and plastic surgeons etc... but there are also a whole lot of fat people. all of us fat folk are taken. the interesting thing is that a lot of guys come here from the north and since it's so acceptable here you find a lot of people dating fat folk who always wanted to. most people could care less. they are too busy concentrating on the person they're personally attracted to to be judging what somebody else likes. this place is the kind of place people come to to be themselves.



Ah nice. I have noticed that about the area. Not a whole lot of airs about people. Okay, well, like I said I only come down to see my dad so I'm still getting used to the peninsula. 

And I don't care right now about dating. I'm coming out of a bad marriage. It's nice to know there are fat people around. Someday I'm sure to meet some and get some new friends.


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## bigmac (Jun 17, 2014)

superodalisque said:


> sexual preferences are immutable but liking fat people is not a sexual preference. ...



Actually it is -- you either find fat people sexually attractive or you don't.



superodalisque said:


> we don't have to buy into we're all beautiful thing if we don't want to but we also just don't need to go out of our way to go around pointing fingers at people we aren't attracted to. it's not necessary and it's pointless. there are people who are attracted to those people and that makes other people's lack of attraction a moot point as far as anyone's actual attractiveness is concerned. discussing size isn't a license to go off on other people's bodies negatively.



You start a thread about how men feel about fat women and now you're saying you don't want the hear about how men feel about fat women ???




superodalisque said:


> ... there is something wrong with someone who takes every last opportunity to talk about who doesn't want fat people.
> 
> ...



Nothing wrong with a needed reality check every now and then.


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## superodalisque (Jun 17, 2014)

bigmac said:


> Actually it is -- you either find fat people sexually attractive or you don't.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



please get out your dictionary and find out what sexual preference is and how it functions. before you talk about something you should know what it s you are talking about.

*sexual preference*
Web definitions
Sexual orientation is an enduring personal quality that inclines people to feel *romantic or sexual attraction to persons of the opposite sex or gender, the same sex or gender, or to both sexes or more than one gender. ..*.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_Preference


Medical Dictionary
*sexual preference n. *
The preference one shows by having *a sexual interest in members of the same, opposite, or either sex.*


whose reality? men and not just one man. generalizing from a particular is something called a fallacy.


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## bigchicksforme (Jun 17, 2014)

I'm not really part of this community but I saw this thread when logging in the check the paysite board and thought I could contribute. 

I'm going to be brutally honest, I wish I was not attracted to overweight women. I'm 24 years old and I enjoy many active/physically intensive activities. Long/difficult hikes, skiing, running et cetera. I would love to be able to do these things with a partner but unfortunately that is very unlikely to happen with an overweight woman, particularly the size I'm most attracted to.

Then there's also the social stigma of dating an overweight person, and while people will say it doesn't matter what others think and to ignore it, while that is true and I do my best, it's still not a nice thing to deal with.

On the positive side in my experience large women I've met tend to be less narcissistic and nicer than their skinny counterparts.

I wish I could date an active & fit girl but the fact is I'm just not attracted to that body type, so I have to live with it and accept overweight women for who they are.

So how do I feel about overweight women? Conflicted.


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## pagan22 (Jun 17, 2014)

bigchicksforme said:


> I'm not really part of this community but I saw this thread when logging in the check the paysite board and thought I could contribute.
> 
> I'm going to be brutally honest, I wish I was not attracted to overweight women. I'm 24 years old and I enjoy many active/physically intensive activities. Long/difficult hikes, skiing, running et cetera. I would love to be able to do these things with a partner but unfortunately that is very unlikely to happen with an overweight woman, particularly the size I'm most attracted to.
> 
> ...



I like your honesty. While I don't know what size you're attracted to, I do see many 28/32 sized women leading active lives. They may not be able to do some things due to weight restrictions, but long arduous hikes can be in their interests. Just saying.  It's nice to see this type of honesty.


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## wrestlingguy (Jun 17, 2014)

bigchicksforme said:


> I'm not really part of this community but I saw this thread when logging in the check the paysite board and thought I could contribute.
> 
> I'm going to be brutally honest, I wish I was not attracted to overweight women. I'm 24 years old and I enjoy many active/physically intensive activities. Long/difficult hikes, skiing, running et cetera. I would love to be able to do these things with a partner but unfortunately that is very unlikely to happen with an overweight woman, particularly the size I'm most attracted to.
> 
> ...



It's a very honest & forthright answer, but this post is coming from someone who has been with larger women for a good portion of my adult life.

How do *I* feel? I feel committed.........committed to working for size acceptance so that there IS no social stigma attached, so that perhaps women who normally wouldn't hike, will. Many of the women that I know who don't hike don't partake in the activity because they can't, it's usually because they simply don't want to deal with the comments, snickering and dirty looks they get. For fat people (women AND men), it's a case of damned if you do, damned if you don't.

IF you don't exercise, people will make comments about how lazy you are. If you DO become active, people bitch & complain because fatties shouldn't be seen out in public. I have friends who hike who are fat. 

While I think you're honest, I also think that you underestimate fat women. But that's typical, given all of the fat stigma & bias that goes on in the media.

Also, coming from someone who walked away from a career position due to fat bias that was directed at my then wife, I can tell you that while it's a pain in the ass to fight the size acceptance fight, it's worth it. 

Part of it is just having confidence in yourself, and your life choices. I do, so it's not an issue. I don't wear the "Fat Admirer" badge, because I'm of the feeling that it sounds too fetish oriented, but that's my opinion. I don't hide my attraction. My fiance' is almost 400 lbs. We're social. She attends many of my work functions, as well as my side business (I'm a partner in an independent pro wrestling promotion). All one has to do is talk to her for more than 30 seconds to know that she's articulate, knowledgeable, and fucking gorgeous. I've had men who aren't attracted to fat women tell me how they think she's hot.

And that's really what it's all about. Fat is just a body shape/size. Once the social stigma is taken away, there's nothing left but a descriptor, just like red hair or tan, or bald or any other words used to describe a person. So, when people talk with me, and they see all the different aspects of my life, having a fat woman with me is simply a small part.

I would suggest to anyone who feels conflicted like this, get involved in Size Acceptance. Support groups and individuals who are working towards it, both financially, and with your time. I can guarantee that while it can be frustrating at times, you'll feel better about the cause, you'll feel better about yourself, and you may find a great woman in the process.


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## Pearlover90000 (Jun 17, 2014)

Ahmen! Superdalisque-

What you hit upon reminded me of that '60 minutes' piece about living to 100 years old, and the #1 thing that was a no no for women- was being Thin!!!!!
They found that those wheo were heavy, lived much longer.

Noone wants thin older women anyway, it may look cute wehn you're 20, but not old.

Pear lover





superodalisque said:


> i think it's already dead for the most part IRL. it's pretty much only the media, misogynists, personal trainers and diet aid salesmen who are trying to keep it rolling. even they are always showing and looking at semi naked fat bodies every time they get a chance because that is what people are drawn to , whether they admit it or not. it's holding on by it's fingernails. and that's why savvy companies are pushing all of this real women business. that is where the money is in the future. follow the money. a lot of women who traded on being skinny back in my heyday are older now and extremely pissed. they are small and they have diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer, plus osteoporosis and they look like death warmed over next to fat women their age. it's galling to them that after all of their hard work and self denial that older fat women are being chased down by wen who once ran after them. they gave up the pleasure of food for what? and on top of it they are less likely to survive a catastrophic illness because they don't have enough fat in reserve to fuel their bodies. fat americans mean money now. they aren't going to continue spending their money with people who make them feel bad about themselves. negative reinforcement does not work--never has.


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## bigmac (Jun 17, 2014)

superodalisque said:


> please get out your dictionary and find out what sexual preference is and how it functions. before you talk about something you should know what it s you are talking about.
> 
> *sexual preference*
> Web definitions
> ...




Regardless, the vernacular definition of _sexual preference_ includes a preference for fat partners. 


The more important point is that when a guy who is into thin women meets a fat woman, who is otherwise everything he's looking for, he doesn't say "where have you been all my life". He says (at least to himself) "damn, it too bad she's so fat." 


This is not a put down its an acknowledgement of reality. As many women have asserted on these boards people have preferences. To pursue a sexual relationship with someone who's not into you physically is to pursue failure.


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## tonynyc (Jun 17, 2014)

Interesting thread and nice to see the various viewpoints. At the end of the day everyone has preferences unless it is someone that is willing to date whomever comes along.


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## Saisha (Jun 18, 2014)

bigchicksforme said:


> I'm not really part of this community but I saw this thread when logging in the check the paysite board and thought I could contribute.
> 
> I'm going to be brutally honest, I wish I was not attracted to overweight women. I'm 24 years old and I enjoy many active/physically intensive activities. Long/difficult hikes, skiing, running et cetera. I would love to be able to do these things with a partner but unfortunately that is very unlikely to happen with an overweight woman, particularly the size I'm most attracted to.
> 
> ...



You need to keep looking and be encouraging. I know BBWs who ski, hike, scuba, surf and do motocross in addition to other activities. Except when safety/medical issues might be a factor, the only thing stopping anyone from being active is either they don't want to or are too scared for whatever reason to try. She is out there for you if you are willing to be there for her.


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## superodalisque (Jun 19, 2014)

bigmac said:


> Regardless, the vernacular definition of _sexual preference_ includes a preference for fat partners.
> 
> 
> The more important point is that when a guy who is into thin women meets a fat woman, who is otherwise everything he's looking for, he doesn't say "where have you been all my life". He says (at least to himself) "damn, it too bad she's so fat."
> ...



no you are wrong. when you find a fat partner sexy that is called a sexual attraction. you can be sexually attracted to a tall person a thin person or a short person too. that is not a sexual preference. 

as far as men who find thin women attractive, i know several men who used to think they only preferred only thin women who now prefer fat women but think both are sexy. one reason is a lot of them had never even seen a fat woman naked or even dressed nice. some of them are even in the fat community now. besides them there are a lot of men who have never been stuck on one type, and actually that is most guys. 

the thing you are reading as an actual attraction is mainly social conditioning. a lot of older men in particular had never been exposed to glamourous or sexualized fat women. sexual attraction is also socialized. the reason that many of our fetishist even have fetishes at all is because of exposure. they saw something, they experienced something and they liked it. that is how they knew. then you also get the shaming that people in the closet know about. it's funny but i find that a lot of those most willing to shame the most are also the ones who are really the most attracted. a lot of hogging as an excuse to do something they always wanted to do anyway. think about it, you can't hog if you can't even get it up in the first place.

i'm sure people ARE born feeling the way that they do to an extent but many more experience things that excite them. as a fat woman who as posed nude in artist's studios for most of her life now i think it's weird to believe that every last man in a class who got a chubby from looking at my fat body had to be some kind of specialist. that's plain old ridiculous. we are sexual beings. we like naked bodies. we like a lot of stuff. it's natural. unfortunately we live in a society that expects us to repress everything for often stupid reasons. 

for a lot of men fat sex was never on the table until the internet. before that it was the circus fat women. if you want to know why a whole lot more men like fat women now just look at how much more you can see them on the net than you could at the circus. men are being exposed to fat women as an object of sexual desire where they hadn't been before. even main line pornograpic magazines are feeling the pressure of people wanting to look because they've gotten a taste. if we were really so unattractive people would not want to see us the way that they do.

fat hasn't always been out of style. if men were so dead set on thin women they'd never have liked fat women as much as they did previous to the advent of diet advertising. in fact there as a huge backlash from men when women first started wanting to be thin and athletic because they wanted to be blue stockings and be able to use a bike for their first taste of freedom from the house and mobility around town.


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## bigmac (Jun 19, 2014)

Its NOT social conditioning. Us chubby chasers grow up side by side with guys who like only thin women. My own brother likes really skinny women. Also a guy getting hard when he sees a naked fat chick doesn't actually mean he's into fat chicks. I've had sex with a few skinny women without any performance issues -- that doesn't mean I prefer skinny. 


Believe it or not it was pretty easy to hook up with fat women before the internet. 54, mostly fat, women have seen fit to have sex with me over the years. I met only two of these on the internet. Fat sex has always been at least as available as thin sex. Indeed in many ways it was easier to hookup with a fat woman before the internet.


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## superodalisque (Jun 19, 2014)

bigmac said:


> Its NOT social conditioning. Us chubby chasers grow up side by side with guys who like only thin women. My own brother likes really skinny women. Also a guy getting hard when he sees a naked fat chick doesn't actually mean he's into fat chicks. I've had sex with a few skinny women without any performance issues -- that doesn't mean I prefer skinny.
> 
> 
> Believe it or not it was pretty easy to hook up with fat women before the internet. 54, mostly fat, women have seen fit to have sex with me over the years. I met only two of these on the internet. Fat sex has always been at least as available as thin sex. Indeed in many ways it was easier to hookup with a fat woman before the internet.



about the same amount of men as ONLY like thin women as men who ONLY like fat women and can't ever respond physically to anyone else. true to form men fit on a continuum of attraction --a bell curve. both sets of men who stick solely to the extremes are anomalies. neither have anything to do with the behavior of the average male. average men are affected by what is available around them and what they see. nature is smart like that. it makes men who are attracted to about the same percentage of women of the type available. percentages of fat women and thin women fit a bell curve too--with most women being in the middle. if more women are fatter then more men will be attracted to fatter women which is exactly what is happening now. there is no shortage of men who desire fat women or vice versa. there is no need for a fat woman or any other woman to be desperate for attention. we do need to ave a prouder image of ourselves in society for our own health and mental well being though. people always feel more comfortable when they see who and what they are represented as a part of their society.


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## superodalisque (Jun 20, 2014)

bigchicksforme said:


> I'm not really part of this community but I saw this thread when logging in the check the paysite board and thought I could contribute.
> 
> I'm going to be brutally honest, I wish I was not attracted to overweight women. I'm 24 years old and I enjoy many active/physically intensive activities. Long/difficult hikes, skiing, running et cetera. I would love to be able to do these things with a partner but unfortunately that is very unlikely to happen with an overweight woman, particularly the size I'm most attracted to.
> 
> ...



the reason you're unhappy is because you are stuck on a body type and stereotypes surrounding it. women are people not body types. until you figure that whole thing out you are bound to be unhappy. at this point you are probably just acting out on your sexuality and buying into all of the bs lies that people will tell you. and that is fine. we all have to go through it. but one day you are going to want a real partner in life. and a life is just that --all of life. and we do want someone to share it with. being able to share is very important. nothing makes the sexy go away quicker long term than someone you aren't able to enjoy life with. there may be a compromise in the offing. there may not be. you never can tell. either way you need to put every last preconceived notion you have in your back pocket and go with the flow. stop being afraid of life. life is not all neat laid out and perfect. it's messy,awkward, and sometimes even difficult. even if you wanted a thin girl and you thought there would never be some kind of a conflict you are living in a fairy tale. so do yourself a favor young friend and get over it.


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## bigmac (Jun 20, 2014)

Saisha said:


> You need to keep looking and be encouraging. I know *BBWs who ski, hike, scuba, surf and do motocross in addition to other activities*. Except when safety/medical issues might be a factor, the only thing stopping anyone from being active is either they don't want to or are too scared for whatever reason to try. She is out there for you if you are willing to be there for her.



Reality check -- yes people who are on the small side of BBW/BHM can be quite active. However its an undeniable fact that extra weight limits peoples ability to be active. The natural world forces us to make choices. A supersize girlfriend is not going to be your mountain biking partner.


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## Saisha (Jun 20, 2014)

bigmac said:


> Reality check -- yes people who are on the small side of BBW/BHM can be quite active. However its an undeniable fact that extra weight limits peoples ability to be active. The natural world forces us to make choices. A supersize girlfriend is not going to be your mountain biking partner.



I agree with you - but I also know people get stuck in ruts and won't try new things for whatever reason when they are physically up to it (those with medical or safety issues/concerns obviously shouldn't do what isn't right for them) - I guess I was just trying to say to the OP to be encouraging to partners in his life when a situation occurs that they might honestly be able to do and try but only have fear holding them back. Sorry I wasn't clearer.


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## superodalisque (Jun 22, 2014)

bigmac said:


> Reality check -- yes people who are on the small side of BBW/BHM can be quite active. However its an undeniable fact that extra weight limits peoples ability to be active. The natural world forces us to make choices. A supersize girlfriend is not going to be your mountain biking partner.



but not always. when i was 410 i did a lot of stuff people thought i shouldn't be able to do physically, like play basketball tennis and volleyball day running from side to side in 92 degree heat until i had a spinal cord injury that came from a car accident. i could dance actively all night no problem. i had other friends not in the community and not affected by fake fat community mental limitations on physical abilities who are just like that. they are 50 too. i was very physical and always had been. so it's on a person by person basis. the problem is a lot of people take this fetishy idea of who fat people are too far. we don't all live on lil debbies and inactivity.


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## Saisha (Jun 22, 2014)

superodalisque said:


> but not always. when i was 410 i did a lot of stuff people thought i shouldn't be able to do physically, like play basketball tennis and volleyball day running from side to side in 92 degree heat until i had a spinal cord injury that came from a car accident. i could dance actively all night no problem. i had other friends not in the community and not affected by fake fat community mental limitations on physical abilities who are just like that. they are 50 too. i was very physical and always had been. so it's on a person by person basis. the problem is a lot of people take this fetishy idea of who fat people are too far. we don't all live on lil debbies and inactivity.



:bow::bow::bow::bow:
Out of reps for awhile so this will have to do!
:bow::bow::bow::bow:


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## Dromond (Jun 22, 2014)

I picked up the rep assist.


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## bigmac (Jun 22, 2014)

superodalisque said:


> but not always. when i was 410 i did a lot of stuff people thought i shouldn't be able to do physically, like play basketball tennis and volleyball day running from side to side in 92 degree heat until i had a spinal cord injury that came from a car accident. i could dance actively all night no problem. i had other friends not in the community and not affected by fake fat community mental limitations on physical abilities who are just like that. they are 50 too. i was very physical and always had been. so it's on a person by person basis. the problem is a lot of people take this fetishy idea of who fat people are too far. we don't all live on lil debbies and inactivity.



So the laws of physics don't apply to you and your friends? Weight slows people down -- that's just a fact. This doesn't mean that fat people cannot be reasonably active, however, there are limitations. If you're moderately overweight you're going to be able to participate in sports at a non-competitive recreational level. However for most sports or other energetic activities if you're carrying more than 100 extra pounds (less if you're small) you're not going to be able to participate in any meaningful way. That's not a put down -- its just a fact of life.


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## Dromond (Jun 22, 2014)

Fat chicks are flexible.

They really are.


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## superodalisque (Jun 22, 2014)

bigmac said:


> So the laws of physics don't apply to you and your friends? Weight slows people down -- that's just a fact. This doesn't mean that fat people cannot be reasonably active, however, there are limitations. If you're moderately overweight you're going to be able to participate in sports at a non-competitive recreational level. However for most sports or other energetic activities if you're carrying more than 100 extra pounds (less if you're small) you're not going to be able to participate in any meaningful way. That's not a put down -- its just a fact of life.



some not EVERY. there is a big difference between some and all. tell that to all of the fat women who were in the olympics who weigh lift throw discus shot put or that young lady who just won in a professional tennis tournament and all of those heavy men and women who weight lift on the olympic level, the big men who wrestle. what about the strong man competition full of guys who weigh 400lbs and lift pull and run etc... what about all of those huge guys in the NFL for goodness sakes. what about male and female sumos. open your eyes for a change and stop being just as blind as the fat phobic public. you don't have to go by what i say. go by what fat people have done that is documented.

the laws of physics also say that if you are active, and have some muscles and develop your coordination skills you can do stuff. biology does not say that if you are fat that you must be weak and have no muscle strength to compensate. time for you to get off the net and deal with some real people. time to stop pushing the idea that fat people have to resign themselves to being totally incapable of anything even if it means just walking around the local mall. it's a fetish riddled lie.

btw the people i'm talking about also do not have diabetes or high blood pressure etc.. either. thin people are not totally devoid of those diseases at all. which is why i believe that just because you are fat you don't have to ignore your health altogether or that you're doomed to have to use a scooter or have a life of emergency room visits. it's why i'm for physical fitness at any level a person can manage that does not have thin as the definition. it's more than just size that matters. if i hadn't have been strong already with the spinal cord damage i have i wouldn't be walking on my own today. a lot of thin people don't. strength makes a difference. movement makes a difference. fat does not have to equal weak.


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## bigmac (Jun 22, 2014)

superodalisque said:


> some not EVERY. there is a big difference between some and all. tell that to all of the fat women who were in the olympics who weigh lift throw discus shot put or that young lady who just won in a professional tennis tournament and all of those heavy men and women who weight lift on the olympic level, the big men who wrestle. what about the strong man competition full of guys who weigh 400lbs and lift pull and run etc... what about all of those huge guys in the NFL for goodness sakes. what about male and female sumos. open your eyes for a change and stop being just as blind as the fat phobic public. you don't have to go by what i say. go by what fat people have done that is documented.
> 
> the laws of physics also say that if you are active, and have some muscles and develop your coordination skills you can do stuff. biology does not say that if you are fat that you must be weak and have no muscle strength to compensate. time for you to get off the net and deal with some real people. time to stop pushing the idea that fat people have to resign themselves to being totally incapable of anything even if it means just walking around the local mall. it's a fetish riddled lie.
> 
> ...



Good god you really cannot just accept reality. Yes fat people can be strong -- no one ever said they couldn't. Yes, people who could be described as fat by some people (like the young tennis player you noted) can be very athletic. However this doesn't change my central point.

Football linemen and sumo wrestlers are outliers. A 6'5" 330 pound lineman cannot in any reasonable way be compared to a 5'4" 330 pound woman.

The fact remains that I've never seen a 300 pound person of anything approximating normal height (i.e. under 6'6") who is able to run for any appreciable distance. Fat guys cannot run a basketball court for more than a few minutes (I used to make up for my relative lack of skill by being about to outrun other centers and power forwards -- something I can't do anymore even when playing with guys my own age).

I have and do encourage everyone to be as active as they can. However being delusional about one's abilities doesn't do anyone any good.


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## Saisha (Jun 22, 2014)

bigmac said:


> I have and do encourage everyone to be as active as they can. However being delusional about one's abilities doesn't do anyone any good.



I am only speaking from my own experience here but there are exceptions to rules (not talking running) - I grew up learning to swim before I could walk and have been a swimmer all my life - up through lifeguard training. I have also been heavy all my life. In HS, I weighed at least 225 and was taking the swim classes off season that the swim team was taking - during season, I took their classes - both which included alternate days in the gym - the swimming coach wanted me to try out for the Olympics but I backed off because I was too embarrassed because of my weight to pursue it - yes, I know I would have had to lose weight if I had decided to go for it - but I also used to take Karate' and I still have very fast reflexes. I can also dance circles around people half my age - and I'm not talking square dancing or slow ballroom either. I used to do belly dancing as well as some Polynesian and have been known to keep up with the song Wipe Out in how fast I can move my hips. I can also walk extremely fast for long distances where people jog along with me when I set my mind to it. So no, I may not be running marathons (because I was more of a sprinter than long-distance) but some of us can and are very active even at higher weights.


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## superodalisque (Jun 22, 2014)

the thing is it might be possible for a guy to meet an exception. it's not _totally _impossible. if he wants an active big girl he should look in a place were they'd be most likely to be, the same as you would any other kind of girl. that guy might have to start hanging around a field house were they practice for weight lifting or discus throwing or something  actually i have known a lot of college aged fat women into hiking so evidently some of them are definitely doing it. there are even whole clothing sites centered on fat ladies who do active activities. i know quite a few fat ladies who are athletic coaches too. that is also an active job you can't be lying down to do.


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## superodalisque (Jun 22, 2014)

Saisha said:


> I am only speaking from my own experience here but there are exceptions to rules (not talking running) - I grew up learning to swim before I could walk and have been a swimmer all my life - up through lifeguard training. I have also been heavy all my life. In HS, I weighed at least 225 and was taking the swim classes off season that the swim team was taking - during season, I took their classes - both which included alternate days in the gym - the swimming coach wanted me to try out for the Olympics but I backed off because I was too embarrassed because of my weight to pursue it - yes, I know I would have had to lose weight if I had decided to go for it - but I also used to take Karate' and I still have very fast reflexes. I can also dance circles around people half my age - and I'm not talking square dancing or slow ballroom either. I used to do belly dancing as well as some Polynesian and have been known to keep up with the song Wipe Out in how fast I can move my hips. I can also walk extremely fast for long distances where people jog along with me when I set my mind to it. So no, I may not be running marathons (because I was more of a sprinter than long-distance) but some of us can and are very active even at higher weights.



belly dancing is not for light weights at all. it use to kick my ass lol. when i started i was sore in places i didn't even know i had!


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## superodalisque (Jun 22, 2014)

bigmac said:


> Good god you really cannot just accept reality. Yes fat people can be strong -- no one ever said they couldn't. Yes, people who could be described as fat by some people (like the young tennis player you noted) can be very athletic. However this doesn't change my central point.
> 
> Football linemen and sumo wrestlers are outliers. A 6'5" 330 pound lineman cannot in any reasonable way be compared to a 5'4" 330 pound woman.
> 
> ...



hon i ran well at 300lbs, and long distances when i was in my twenties. 300lbs was light for me. i was a country girl. we were always outside doing something physical. i wasn't bad at sprinting either. in fact one of our coaches in high school used me to embarrass the lazy boys and beat them at spriting. it made them work harder to get faster. so for him to find a fat active girl at 24 is not out of the realm of possibilities.

just because you haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. you probably won't find it at a bbw bash. it's not that kind of crowd. simply put, your reality is not mine.


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## Saisha (Jun 22, 2014)

superodalisque said:


> ....just because you haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. you probably won't find it at a bbw bash. it's not that kind of crowd. simply put, your reality is not mine.



You totally rock in my book!!!!


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## superodalisque (Jun 22, 2014)

Saisha said:


> You totally rock in my book!!!!



so do you. it takes one to know one!


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