# Labels



## choudhury (Jan 6, 2016)

I recognize that no label ever changed because some eccentric objected to it. Nevertheless, I'd like to get this off my chest: I don't really care for the term Fat Admirer. It makes it sound like I 'admire' a disembodied lump of fat. And it lends itself to this ridiculous charge we sometimes hear, 'that he only loves me for my fat,' that sort of thing. 

No, I admire fat _women_, and it's not just the fat per se, but (speaking purely physically) their beautiful bodies as a whole - it's the magical way the fat enhances everything. The FA label maybe also reinforces in a subtle way some of our negative tendencies, e.g., the tendency to take a purely 'quantitative' approach to the female body ('how much did you gain??' 'What are your measurements??' etc.). 

And going beyond that, it's not strictly about 'fat' inasmuch as we're not personally attracted to any and all fat women...like most human beings, I'm more physically attracted to some women than others, within the preferred 'weight range' (whatever that is). But maybe no label can fully deal with this.

The older appellation of 'chubby chaser' is, I think, a marginal improvement. Its problem is the 'chaser' noun, which maybe plays into the idea of FAs as perverts or deviants, slobberingly 'chasing' women all over the place. It also echoes patriarchal ideas about women as objects to be pursued.

If I had my druthers, the label would be 'AFW:' Admirer of Fat Women. (The only reason for not going with BBWA is that it's just too many syllables). 

I know, a futile sentiment. But heck, I thought I'd get it out there!


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## Dr. Feelgood (Jan 6, 2016)

choudhury said:


> I recognize that no label ever changed because some eccentric objected to it. Nevertheless, I'd like to get this off my chest: I don't really care for the term Fat Admirer.And it lends itself to this ridiculous charge we sometimes hear, 'that he only loves me for my fat,' that sort of thing.



That's the sort of person the term 'Fat Admirer' makes me think of: someone who is attracted to fat women merely because they're fat, without taking anything else into account. This is purely my own reaction, and I fully realize it does not apply to many persons who describe themselves as fat admirers. You, however, make it clear that what appeals to you is beauty, wherever you find it. And there is a term for someone like that: you are an aesthete, and I salute you for it. :bow:


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## choudhury (Jan 8, 2016)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> That's the sort of person the term 'Fat Admirer' makes me think of: someone who is attracted to fat women merely because they're fat, without taking anything else into account. This is purely my own reaction, and I fully realize it does not apply to many persons who describe themselves as fat admirers. You, however, make it clear that what appeals to you is beauty, wherever you find it. And there is a term for someone like that: you are an aesthete, and I salute you for it. :bow:



Ha ha, well, I like the way you put it! However, the fact remains that only some men see the beauty in BBWs, so we still need a label to describe the ones who do :happy: 

And I wonder how many of us (whatever we choose to call ourselves) really are PURELY attracted to fat, irrespective of other considerations, such as facial features or body type, let alone other variables such as self-confidence, personality, self-presentation, etc.? Rather few, I'll bet. That's why I still say 'FA' is a pretty crude label.


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## Tad (Jan 8, 2016)

We've had similar discussions around here quite a few times. Various suggestions have been made, but ultimately the term FA is used widely enough, and the audience here is comparatively small enough (even when this was a much more active web site), that using any other term ends up seeming somewhat quixotic :-/

Not to discourage you, I think your points are good and a less kink-suggestive term would probably be good from a public relations point of view. It is just a matter of preaching in the wilderness or something like that.


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## Marlayna (Jan 8, 2016)

choudhury said:


> I recognize that no label ever changed because some eccentric objected to it. Nevertheless, I'd like to get this off my chest: I don't really care for the term Fat Admirer. It makes it sound like I 'admire' a disembodied lump of fat. And it lends itself to this ridiculous charge we sometimes hear, 'that he only loves me for my fat,' that sort of thing.
> 
> No, I admire fat _women_, and it's not just the fat per se, but (speaking purely physically) their beautiful bodies as a whole - it's the magical way the fat enhances everything. The FA label maybe also reinforces in a subtle way some of our negative tendencies, e.g., the tendency to take a purely 'quantitative' approach to the female body ('how much did you gain??' 'What are your measurements??' etc.).
> 
> ...


Great post, you made some excellent points! I don't think a label is even necessary. A simple, "I like full-figured women", is all that really needs to be said.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Jan 8, 2016)

Labels are good and bad. The nice thing about labels is that they generally come with context, so you don't _have_ to explain everything all the time. The bad thing is they generally come with context so you don't _get_ to explain. 

I take all labels with a grain of salt, and anyone who choses to judge me based on their own preconceptions of the term can do as they wish. I mean, "white" is a label, hell, even "woman" can be a label! I believe my actions are a caveat or enrichment to my FFA label. 

I like FFA on the boards because its easy to shorthand, and the meaning is pretty clear. I don't like having to equivocate and explain every time I post. Outside the boards, like Marlayna mentioned, I just say "I like chubby guys." And if they give me a look as if to say chubby is an understatement, I grin shamelessly and say, "ok, FAT guys!"

I don't even like the term admirer of fat guys because some are not attractive to me, are jerks, or what have you. But, acronyms and labels are just easy sometimes!


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## landshark (Jan 9, 2016)

I don't mind the labels like "chubby chaser" or "FA." It's just a descriptive way to express someone's preference. With that said, I agree with OP's premise. I've noted before that we don't have a similar description for someone who prefers blonde's only. Or a certain ethnicity. So that we have a label for one who prefers fat girls suggests such a preference is an anomaly. 

I stayed away from using the word "fat" for a long time because it is always used in such a negative context. I've found more and more I use it to cut to the chase. I still don't use it to describe my wife, even though it's her word of choice to describe herself. 

Recently I found myself in a discussion on preferences on another forum similar to this. One of the sub-topics was how in online dating, "curvy" is misused to by fat women who do not want to own up to being fat. During this discussion I mentioned I liked bigger girls and someone asked me to clarify. I was very clear: I like fat girls. I've had multiple parters (one at a time) who were north of 300. I was instantly castigated for this confession by some in that discussion. People assumed something was wrong with me for wanting to be with a fat woman. Others were supportive or indifferent, as they should be. Labels ensued, though. And often we use the labels negatively. The labels themselves are one thing, but I think the objections to them stem from the often negative context in which they are used.


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## Blockierer (Jan 9, 2016)

I was 17 when I first read about the subculture of (SS)BBW / FA. And I was exited that I could label me as an FA, knowing that I was not the only one who's been attracted to fat ladies. Considering the fact that these labels are mostly unknown outside the BBW/FA community I think nothing's wrong with the term FA.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Jan 9, 2016)

happily_married said:


> I've noted before that we don't have a similar description for someone who prefers blonde's only. Or a certain ethnicity. So that we have a label for one who prefers fat girls suggests such a preference is an anomaly.



There are labels like that...i know that people who prefer asian women are said to have "yellow fever". Cannot thing of ones
For blondes, but blonde women get categorized themselves, that is why there are "blonde jokes". Thus, the insinuation is that men who prefer blondes are in for an easy lay with an idiot. 

I think we just tend to be hyper aware of our own labels, considering our size/preference/community


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## landshark (Jan 9, 2016)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> There are labels like that...i know that people who prefer asian women are said to have "yellow fever". Cannot thing of ones
> For blondes, but blonde women get categorized themselves, that is why there are "blonde jokes". Thus, the insinuation is that men who prefer blondes are in for an easy lay with an idiot.
> 
> I think we just tend to be hyper aware of our own labels, considering our size/preference/community



I've heard some of the minor ones, but honestly every time I've made this point someone shares with me some obscure label like this that I've never heard before. I highly doubt too many, if any these other labels are universal. For example, if you just say about someone "he has yellow fever" I would assume he was sick. If you say "he's a chubby chaser/FA" pretty much everyone knows right away what you're talking about.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Jan 9, 2016)

Really? 

Up here "yellow fever" is incredibly well known. As is the phrase "a banana" to describe a half and half (someone who is ethnically asian but inside is canadian culturally). I dont endorse, just commenting.

No one here knows what a FA or an FFA is, and thy barely know what a chubby chaser is from my experience; they have to infer from the two words and context. Its something they have heard on tv, but isnt commonly used.


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## landshark (Jan 9, 2016)

Xyantha Reborn said:


> Really?
> 
> Up here "yellow fever" is incredibly well known. As is the phrase "a banana" to describe a half and half (someone who is ethnically asian but inside is canadian culturally). I dont endorse, just commenting.
> 
> No one here knows what a FA or an FFA is, and thy barely know what a chubby chaser is from my experience; they have to infer from the two words and context. Its something they have heard on tv, but isnt commonly used.



Interesting...

I suppose it varies by location. Long before I ever came out as a chubby chaser I was well acquainted with the term. I had a girlfriend back then who was "hot" by all the mainstream definitions but extremely high maintenance as well. She used to reassure me that her drama was worth it and to "look at the bright side, you could be a chubby chaser and someday end up with a fat wife." Little did she know I wanted that deep down inside, but at that pointed in my life I wanted to not want that for myself. Looking back, her little pep talks are comical. Within a year of her and I splitting up I finally caved in to being a chubby chaser and now am married to a BBW. Life is awesome.


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## RabbitScorpion (Jan 9, 2016)

"Chubby chaser" can be problematic since it means three different things to different people (as well as tending to have different uses from place to place)

In much (not all) of the US, it's usually only used as a gay culture term - a man who prefers large men.

When used in the straight culture, it has two different meanings. In the pejorative, it means a man (usually) preying on overweight women for sex without commitment, with the stereotype that big women supposedly are "desperate" (which does not bear out in actuality), and thus more likely to consent.

The other is appreciative, that of a man who would "chase" a BBW due to his sincere personal preference.

Even then, such a catch phrase, especially an alliterative one, strikes many as being immature.


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## landshark (Jan 11, 2016)

RabbitScorpion said:


> In much (not all) of the US, it's usually only used as a gay culture term - a man who prefers large men.
> 
> When used in the straight culture, it has two different meanings. In the pejorative, it means a man (usually) preying on overweight women for sex without commitment, with the stereotype that big women supposedly are "desperate" (which does not bear out in actuality), and thus more likely to consent.
> 
> The other is appreciative, that of a man who would "chase" a BBW due to his sincere personal preference.



I agree it can be any of these three, but I've seen it most commonly applied to describe guys who prefer bigger girls. I've actually never heard it used pejoratively as you've described. I've heard other derogatory terms that describe that behavior, but in my experience "chubby chaser" is a somewhat benign descriptive term for guys like me.


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## ThisIsBrian (Jan 13, 2016)

I agree with OP's premise that the term "fat admirer" seems to imply having some sort of unemotional, detached, obsession with a person's flesh while being totally apathetic to the person to which said flesh is attached. For this reason, I don't apply the term FA to myself and I only use it here among the initiated where no further elaborations are required.

However, I respectfully disagree with some in this thread that having a label is unnecessary. I believe that labels are inevitable. I think that as awareness of so-called FA's spreads throughout the mainstream, someone is going to assign a label to us eventually. I think that we are in a rare position right now of being able to get out ahead of this and label ourselves before someone else does. 

I think that we need to agree on a better term before "Fat Admirer" takes hold in the vernacular the way that "BBW" has. Before we end up forever fighting an uphill battle of having to clarify misconceptions perpetuated by a poorly worded label.

For those who disagree that we don't have the level of influence required to have any impact on what we are called; consider how the term "BBW" was coined here within the size acceptance community and of how mainstream that term has since become. Like it or not BBW has escaped the laboratory, it's out there now and there's no getting it back. I'd hate for such a clumsy term as Fat Admirer to follow the same trajectory. 

Let's come up with a suitable alternative to FA so our children and our children's children can grow up liking fat chicks/dudes in peace. Though by then there will probably be a cure for obesity and it will be like a Fat Admirer apocalypse. They'll be reduced to roaming the wasteland as some lost tribe of abstinent weirdos. In which case the name of their tribe will be the least of their concerns but I still think we should give them a cool name now just to say we did.


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## swamptoad (Jan 22, 2016)

Labels....



"We were meant to live for so much more, but we lost ourselves." :doh:


Then again ....I think we lose ourselves ....find ourselves ...lose ourselves ...think deep ...think shallow ..... sounds human and inevitable to me.


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## TwoSwords (Jan 28, 2017)

I like the abbreviation "FA," but yeah... I've always thought of "admiration" as applying to situations specifically where someone does something meritorious, like "admiring" a war vet or a firefighter who saved a young boy's life.

"Fat Appreciator" is, I think, a better replacement, since it encompasses everything I feel on this issue. Others don't appreciate fatness, and I do.

I'm not in the same boat you are, though, of generally appreciating people. I don't feel comfortable around most people in my real life, and a very specific set of qualities is the only thing that ever alters that.


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