# They exist! A report of an FFA sighting in the wilderness...



## Johnny_Swell (Aug 1, 2010)

So we were out for a beer here in Sin City recently and had an interesting night. We finally get seats at the huge bar at a new, very trendy place in West Vegas (no easy feat on a Saturday night) and immediately the lady next to me (married and somewhat slammed) starts talking to me while her husband is in the bathroom. An absolutely drop dead, stunning brunette walks up to the empty barstool and asks if it’s available. Wifey informs her that it is, but they’re leaving soon &#8211; her husband will be back shortly and he’ll be easy to recognize as he’s 6 feet tall and 315 pounds and will defend her seat. The bombshell tells her with a semi-conspiratorial demeanor that “Ooo, I’m into big guys too.”
Wait… Really? The mythical thin and gorgeous FFA in public?!
Within 3 seconds of her sitting down a better than average looking guy starts laying down game on her. He is trying very, VERY hard, and the subject of his intended affection was being polite, but clearly uninterested. Then I hear this statement in the middle of a lot of hard to cut through background noise “Sorry, I only date fat guys.” And I see her friend sort of nod. Nooo, really? I mean is she just trying to get rid of him? (For clarification purposes I’m 6’1 and … well I’ve been told I’m getting “fat karma” for having drawn so many SSBBWs over the years that it’s only “fair” that I’ve turned into a certified BHM moving towards SSBHM myself).
I hear her actually ask him how much he weighs, and he says “185”. He was MAYBE 150. She actually poked his belly to see if he might be hiding something! Looking unsatisfied she turned back to her friend and tried to ignore him. Going back to bouncer training 101, I leaned over and whispered “Is he with you, and do you want him to go away?” and she said “No, but… it’s okay.” Damn. My friends and I could have had fun “convincing” him to leave. I wasn’t looking to flirt or hit on her (I was there to be wingman), but I have a problem with guys that won’t take no for an answer.
My buddy suggested I help her out by crowding out the lothario, so I slowwwwly inched my stool closer to hers so that he wouldn’t be able to stand between her and I at the bar. He kept trying, as the inches closed and he had to twist himself into awkward positions to get to his drink, sipping .01 of an ounce and setting back down. And then, when there was so little room he started brushing against me, I turned to look at him with the “If you don’t stop touching me I’m going to stomp a mudhole in you” look. At that point he *finally* gave up and retreated to the end of the bar to start over with someone less radiantly gorgeous.
Maybe I had heard things wrong earlier and misjudged the FFA-ness?  Then she surprises me by leaning over and looking at the empty bowls and plate in front of me (giant serving of southern fried chicken breast, clam chowdah and biscuit plate) and said “Oh, looks like someone had quite a feast…” with an interesting smile, and seemed to almost want me to describe it! I looked over at the artichoke dip her and her friend had worked on and the plate of relatively untouched homemade potato chips and I think I said “Yeah, I’m pretty stuffed, you two hardly touched yours.” She reached over, started grabbing the chips and started putting them on my plate - I felt like I was in the beginning of a weight room story! She said something that I couldn't make out with all the noise, and that I couldn't hear over the crunchiness of the chips. Sorry guys, but the story ends there as they were leaving and I was with friends who needed to talk about very serious life matters so we all parted company but I thought you guys might like a real life story about an authentic FFA in a random, real world setting that might replenish the hopes of some of the more jaded BHMs.


----------



## BigChaz (Aug 1, 2010)

This story is not true

edit: I live in a third story apartment. Every day when I get home from work I fuck the playboy model on the first floor, the penthouse gal on the second floor, and then on my floor a lady brings me a cocktail before I go inside my apartment. This is a true story. They don't even like fat guys. That's how sexy I am.


----------



## Zowie (Aug 1, 2010)

BigChaz said:


> This story is not true
> 
> edit: I live in a third story apartment. Every day when I get home from work I fuck the playboy model on the first floor, the penthouse gal on the second floor, and then on my floor a lady brings me a cocktail before I go inside my apartment. This is a true story. They don't even like fat guys. That's how sexy I am.



I like the idea that the penthouse is on the second floor.


----------



## rabbitislove (Aug 1, 2010)

New life goals:
a) Model for Playboy
b) Move to Chazs apartment.


----------



## lovelocs (Aug 1, 2010)

BigChaz said:


> This story is not true
> 
> edit: I live in a third story apartment. Every day when I get home from work I fuck the playboy model on the first floor, the penthouse gal on the second floor, and then on my floor a lady brings me a cocktail before I go inside my apartment. This is a true story. They don't even like fat guys. That's how sexy I am.



1. Please use an imaginary condom while screwing all these hot women. 

2. Maybe the story is true, maybe the story is false, or maybe it's a mixture of the two topped with a good dollop of hope (like a lot of things people say). Were you there?


----------



## BigChaz (Aug 1, 2010)

lovelocs said:


> 1. Please use an imaginary condom while screwing all these hot women.
> 
> 2. Maybe the story is true, maybe the story is false, or maybe it's a mixture of the two topped with a good dollop of hope (like a lot of things people say). Were you there?



I was there, yes. I am the lady from the story. I don't dig fat guys and that is why this story is false.

The nerve of some people!


----------



## lovelocs (Aug 1, 2010)

BigChaz said:


> I was there, yes. I am the lady from the story. I don't dig fat guys and that is why this story is false.
> 
> The nerve of some people!



I beg your pardon, miss! I'll let you get back to your girl-on-girl penthouse lust, post-haste...


----------



## LovesBigMen (Aug 1, 2010)

I think Johnny_Swell's story is real:happy:


----------



## chicken legs (Aug 1, 2010)

hahahaha...bad ass JS. Was it at the RedRock?


----------



## JenFromOC (Aug 1, 2010)

I use the "Sorry, I only date fat guys" line all the time. It really throws men off track....


----------



## rellis10 (Aug 1, 2010)

JenFromOC said:


> I use the "Sorry, I only date fat guys" line all the time. It really throws men off track....


 
You didnt by chance use it in a very trendy place in west vegas did you? That would really help Mr. Swell's story


----------



## charlieversion2 (Aug 1, 2010)

Johnny_Swell said:


> I hear her actually ask him how much he weighs, and he says 185. He was MAYBE 150. *She actually poked his belly* to see if he might be hiding something! Looking unsatisfied she turned back to her friend and tried to ignore him



Those FFAs are always seeing if us BHMs measure up


----------



## Johnny_Swell (Aug 1, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> hahahaha...bad ass JS. Was it at the RedRock?



Im wondering how you'd guess that since if I agree, it'll be called a convenient coincidence. But yes. Yardhouse, specifically. And for the record, if I was making up a story I could do a *lot* better than this


----------



## escapist (Aug 1, 2010)

Johnny_Swell said:


> Im wondering how you'd guess that since if I agree, it'll be called a convenient coincidence. But yes. Yardhouse, specifically. And for the record, if I was making up a story I could do a *lot* better than this



Chicken keeps saying women in Vegas are just more open. She might be right. I've been saying it for a long time I run into FFA's here frequently. Granted, she's also made the point that I can pick them out in a crowd pretty fast.

This is just a great place to be a BHM....


----------



## escapist (Aug 1, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> hahahaha...bad ass JS. Was it at the RedRock?



I'm gonna have to admit I LOVE the RED ROCK!


----------



## Johnny_Swell (Aug 1, 2010)

escapist said:


> I'm gonna have to admit I LOVE the RED ROCK!



Ah, fellow locals! The feast buffet is part of why Im heading into ssbhm territory!


----------



## Amandy (Aug 1, 2010)

Johnny_Swell said:


> I felt like I was in the beginning of a weight room story!



OMG! me too!


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya (Aug 1, 2010)

JenFromOC said:


> I use the "Sorry, I only date fat guys" line all the time. It really throws men off track....



hahaha, that's awesome. I like that.


----------



## escapist (Aug 2, 2010)

Johnny_Swell said:


> Ah, fellow locals! The feast buffet is part of why Im heading into ssbhm territory!



ROFL yep, when they had the 2 for 1 thing going on I was practically living there going for Breakfast lunch and dinner! The other Feast buffet's are good but the Red Rock one is THE BEST! not to mention the other cool places there, the clubs, the pool, the theater, there is just a lot to do there.


----------



## vanilla_gorilla_503 (Aug 2, 2010)




----------



## shhtx1970 (Aug 2, 2010)

As the classic rap song went:

"Things that make you go HMMMM..."


----------



## Johnny_Swell (Aug 2, 2010)

escapist said:


> ROFL yep, when they had the 2 for 1 thing going on I was practically living there going for Breakfast lunch and dinner! The other Feast buffet's are good but the Red Rock one is THE BEST! not to mention the other cool places there, the clubs, the pool, the theater, there is just a lot to do there.



This story is not true. 
edit: Actually, I live almost next door to a place like this, and every day after work I can walk from my house to it, and see movies in one of 18 theaters, including IMAX, and eat at one of the 19 restaurants, and one has 175 beers on *tap* (the most in the whole wide world), and I get discounts at the huge gourmet buffet (the size of 5 regular restaurants) for carrying a special card with me. Oh, and tons of local stripper types hang out at the pool all weekend, and even walk around the casino and food court in their bathing suits. And if I sit down at one of hundreds of little stools within a couple of minutes I have a scantily clad model-type bringing me a cocktail. 

Now that Escapist has mentioned it I've had that buffet on my mind all day, so I'm about to head out and hit that Feast buffet with my boss, since he always pays and the only thing better than good food is good, FREE food.


----------



## LovesBigMen (Aug 3, 2010)

Johnny_Swell said:


> This story is not true.
> edit: Actually, I live almost next door to a place like this, and every day after work I can walk from my house to it, and see movies in one of 18 theaters, including IMAX, and eat at one of the 19 restaurants, and one has 175 beers on *tap* (the most in the whole wide world), and I get discounts at the huge gourmet buffet (the size of 5 regular restaurants) for carrying a special card with me. Oh, and tons of local stripper types hang out at the pool all weekend, and even walk around the casino and food court in their bathing suits. And if I sit down at one of hundreds of little stools within a couple of minutes I have a scantily clad model-type bringing me a cocktail.
> 
> Now that Escapist has mentioned it I've had that buffet on my mind all day, so I'm about to head out and hit that Feast buffet with my boss, since he always pays and the only thing better than good food is good, FREE food.



And these are reason I love vegas haha though I don't get drinks from Model type I am to young for the whole gambling seen or drinking haha


----------



## escapist (Aug 3, 2010)

Johnny_Swell said:


> This story is not true.
> edit: Actually, I live almost next door to a place like this, and every day after work I can walk from my house to it, and see movies in one of 18 theaters, including IMAX, and eat at one of the 19 restaurants, and one has 175 beers on *tap* (the most in the whole wide world), and I get discounts at the huge gourmet buffet (the size of 5 regular restaurants) for carrying a special card with me. Oh, and tons of local stripper types hang out at the pool all weekend, and even walk around the casino and food court in their bathing suits. And if I sit down at one of hundreds of little stools within a couple of minutes I have a scantily clad model-type bringing me a cocktail.
> 
> Now that Escapist has mentioned it I've had that buffet on my mind all day, so I'm about to head out and hit that Feast buffet with my boss, since he always pays and the only thing better than good food is good, FREE food.



LOL one of those trick Not True statements huh? Cause thats EXACTLY what the Red Rock is like. Even cooler is that casino is VERY LOCAL. The people you meet there are people you will very likely be able to hang out with time and time again. Its funny how the people who don't live in Vegas don't understand how totally normal it is to have what seems to others as almost a fantasy life.

PS oh yeah and the freaking POOL, yeah WAY better than the stuff you even see at the Hard Rock!


----------



## escapist (Aug 4, 2010)

Oh this is a total after thought, but there are 2 FFA's I know that live on Charleston (the same street as The Red Rock Casino). One of them is a stripper and has NO problem telling guys they are not fat enough for her. The Red Rock might just be an FFA Hotspot  :happy:

...sorry, your tale of the Red Rock, Strippers at pools, and Very Open FFA's just reminded me of all that.


----------

