# Is it enough?



## Melian (Mar 2, 2007)

Not sure how this question came up, but suddenly I'm curious to hear the opinions of other FFAs.

Is being fat an absolute requirement in a man for you? Is it THE deciding factor on whether or not you'll be physically attracted to someone?

I *love* fat men, but it's actually only a secondary requirement for attraction, the main requirement being an appealing face. This is why a lot of the body pics of guys don't really do much for me unless I know there is an attractive face to go with it. It's also why I'm dating a fairly skinny guy right now; he just had everything else going for him :huh: 

So what are your thoughts on this?


----------



## Laina (Mar 3, 2007)

Ye gods, no. I'm picky as hell. (Possibly more so than I can afford to be, shh!)

In all honesty, I'm more likely to date a thin guy with a good sense of humor and a decent personality than a fat guy who can't understand my intense love of Demetri Martin. Priorities, people! Preferences are just that--things I prefer, all other things being equal. Fact is, I'm attracted to people. People, not bodies. (Which causes confusion, for obvious reasons. I indentify as bi, but that's not completely the case. People appeal to me, not "men" or "women". Thus far I prefer sex with men. Holy TMI!)


----------



## AnyaDServal (Mar 3, 2007)

Nope. Not at all. I've been attracted to thin guys before, and I've dated them too. Of course, my preference generally runs larger, but it doesn't mean that it's to the exclusion of all else, just like how someone might prefer blondes but can still find brunettes attractive.

But more than any of that, it's the personality/chemistry that counts for a relationship- but attraction is a factor as well!


----------



## Snackgirl (Mar 3, 2007)

A guy who "gets" my thing for weight gain, whether actively pursuing it or not...


----------



## lemmink (Mar 3, 2007)

Snackgirl said:


> A guy who "gets" my thing for weight gain, whether actively pursuing it or not...



Yeah. I've discovered that's pretty much an essential. Fat isn't essential, though.


----------



## Blondeegrldd (Mar 3, 2007)

I've gotten to the point where it is very much necessary in order for me to be attracted to a guy - from extremely fat to a little bit pudgy, I want something to grab onto.

Ex: A couple months ago I met up with a long time friend who had just gotten out of the air force. I knew him during our freshman & sophomore years of high school, but then he transferred schools. I remember him kinda chunky, and I was curious at what he would be like now. I knew he'd be in better shape because he just got out of basic training, but, well, what I wasn't prepared for was that he now 'tips' the scales at.... 130 friggin' pounds! I have more weight than that in my bra. 

This guy chased after me then, and he continues to now. I've been up front that I am not interested, but he seems to not care or completely hear me. He is SO skinny it's almost painful to look at him... and he's close to 6 foot, so at that height there is no excuse. I like him as a friend and I care about him, yada yada yada... but, truthfully, the weight (or lack of) is a complete turn-off. When he stands I can see his ribs sticking out of his t-shirt.


----------



## HDANGEL15 (Mar 3, 2007)

Blondeegrldd said:


> 130 friggin' pounds! I have more weight than that in my bra.
> 
> He is SO skinny it's almost painful to look at him... and he's close to 6 foot, so at that height there is no excuse. I like him as a friend and I care about him, yada yada yada... but, truthfully, the weight (or lack of) is a complete turn-off. When he stands I can see his ribs sticking out of his t-shirt.



*wow I TOTALLY relate to that...I have that experience of meeting men with *ATHLETIC* builds...very very occasionallly an amazing personality or great sense of humor gets me...but in the big picture (no pun intended)...I NEED THAT PHYSICAL thing...defenitely someone who takes my passion for a growing belly seriously.

A long while ago I was in a very significant relationship...honestly I stopped smoking on a wednesday and saturday I met him..it was all about sex for a few months (imagine that)..but 2 yrs down the road...I realized he at 160-175 , even though i put at least 15-20# on his small 5'10 frame..just physically could not hold my interest..it was a shame..but alas...we were better friends then lovers ultimately...

so one day at a time..I await GOD to bless me with a once upon or currently muscular man that is tired of watching his weight and working out obsessively and is ready for a good woman to cook for him endlessly, feed him to his hearts content and PRAISE HIM and LOVE HIS expanding belly and body AS HIS pants size increases INSANELY or just a great BHM that *GETS ME* and loves a PETITE woman to contrast to his big handsome SELF :smitten: *


----------



## gorddito (Mar 3, 2007)

Blondeegrldd said:


> This guy chased after me then, and he continues to now. I've been up front that I am not interested, but he seems to not care or completely hear me. He is SO skinny it's almost painful to look at him... and he's close to 6 foot, so at that height there is no excuse. I like him as a friend and I care about him, yada yada yada... but, truthfully, the weight (or lack of) is a complete turn-off. When he stands I can see his ribs sticking out of his t-shirt.


 
i have been rejected more than a couple of times for being too fat, and being liken just as a friend some other times, is kinda weird and funny to know that someone was rejected for the exact opposite reasons


----------



## Melian (Mar 3, 2007)

Woah, I started a decent thread, for once! Haha.

Just to add to my original post, I do think that personality is a deciding factor; if he's dumb, annoying, a jerk, or if we don't have anything in common then he doesn't have a shot in hell.

In this case, though, I was just thinking about the physical side of attraction


----------



## braveuk28 (Mar 3, 2007)

It's a real interesting question in reverse also. In my teens and early 20s I just dated BBWs. Like those of you that need to with a chunkier guy, I had a "propper" problem getting turned on with a slimmer girl. But now, and I honestly dont know why, I have no real preference.

Just to be clear: It's not like I realised "there was more to it than the physical" - I hope that I have always known that, but rather that slim girls began to turn me on as much as BBWs. Weird hey? Not sure if it doesn't relate to my own actualisation getting a little turned on by my own fatness, which is also a more recent realisation.

Weird hey?

Paul x


----------



## Snackgirl (Mar 3, 2007)

"...Not sure if it doesn't relate to my own actualisation getting a little turned on by my own fatness, which is also a more recent realisation."

I noticed the same thing with regard to myself...


----------



## braveuk28 (Mar 3, 2007)

really? Perhaps you could expand? [no pun intended]


----------



## Love.Metal (Mar 3, 2007)

Laina said:


> Ye gods, no. I'm picky as hell. (Possibly more so than I can afford to be, shh!)
> 
> In all honesty, I'm more likely to date a thin guy with a good sense of humor and a decent personality than a fat guy who can't understand my intense love of Demetri Martin. Priorities, people! Preferences are just that--things I prefer, all other things being equal. Fact is, I'm attracted to people. People, not bodies. (Which causes confusion, for obvious reasons. I indentify as bi, but that's not completely the case. People appeal to me, not "men" or "women". Thus far I prefer sex with men. Holy TMI!)



This isn't helpful AT ALL, but I just had to second the love for Demetri Martin. I'm totally with you, Laina!! He rocks my socks off. Glad you have your priorities straight (even if you aren't completely staight...lol) I'm a people-person too, not in the sense that I love people (generally I loathe them) but in the way that gender doesn't mean squat to me. But yes, I'm more for men...they're cute  

Oh, and as far as the question goes, (finally, something relevant!) I'm attracted to fat guys first, and skinnier guys second. But a good personality and the ability to put up with me is more important in the long run. Besides, I can always fatten him up later


----------



## BLUEeyedBanshee (Mar 3, 2007)

Honestly, a big guy catches my eye no matter what. But getting to know them and their personalities count for a whole lot. 

A guy who can keep up with me intellectually will get my attention too...regardless of size. 

While I really love cuddling up to a big cuddly guy, if I can't connect with him mentally, it doesn't last long.

I think I answered the original question right?


----------



## LoveBHMS (Mar 3, 2007)

If I'm just "looking" then yeah, a bigger guy will probably turn my head.

And I certainly have found myself, consciously or not, attracted to larger men.

However, I've dated big men that lost weight and it never lessened my interest in them. I dated one guy I met through work who was super thin, but I was *first* attracted to his brains and talent. Sure he was smaller than what might turn my head if I were just looking, but his personality got me, and so the physical attraction followed.

I certainly understand and respect that some women *need* a larger body to become fully interested, but that is not how I am.


----------



## Skinny_FFA (Mar 3, 2007)

I only go for bigger guys. And they also have to be TALL, thats very important.

And yes, it doesn´t do any harm if he is handsome faced, intelligent, with a sense of humour similar to mine, hairless, well proprtioned (I prefer the apple shape) confident, patient... etc.... I dont mind if he´s succesful or at least rich, either  But the last is not essential  But you see, the list is quite long.

Only the whole package will do it for long term.

Yes he has to be well cushioned to catch my glance :smitten: and experience pysical attraction






But he should have the more that makes the difference and make me fall in love seriously. I´m pretty resistent against falling in love, unfortunately


----------



## Snackgirl (Mar 3, 2007)

braveuk28 said:


> really? Perhaps you could expand? [no pun intended]



Ah, well I noticed that when I was gaining, it was less important that the person I was with be fat/gaining. It was as if I fulfilled that need for a weight gain element in the relationship.


----------



## pattycake (Mar 3, 2007)

I love the look and feel of a big guy but if he's got a sucky personality, I'll be immediately turned off. 
Slim (but not emaciated) guys can be cute too (I posted a couple of examples on the 'Hot Boy Thread' on the Lounge board),and I'd consider one if he had the kind of sweet/clever/funny/cynical/quirky personality I like. He'd have to put up with me checking out the hot fat guys all the time, though!  
So it would be ideal if I could find the body AND the personality all in one package, but if I can't have both, personality takes precedence. Would be nice if he was at least a _smidge_ chubby or with chub potential


----------



## kathynoon (Mar 3, 2007)

For me, the most importants things are not his looks. I want a man who doesn;t get upset and scream all the time - too much of that in my childhood, walking on eggshells get old. I also go wild for men with corny senses of humor. And I like a man who can make any activity an adventure by being creative.

With a man bigger than me, I get to feel small which is nice sometimes. But, not the top priority. I have been attracted to men of all sizes.


----------



## Blondeegrldd (Mar 4, 2007)

gorddito said:


> i have been rejected more than a couple of times for being too fat, and being liken just as a friend some other times, is kinda weird and funny to know that someone was rejected for the exact opposite reasons



Isn't it ironic.... don't you think? 

We all get rejected & do our share of rejecting - makes the world goes 'round


----------



## rabbitislove (Mar 5, 2007)

a little too ironic. and yeah i really do think...

I PREFER chubby/fat guys, but I'm attracted to women of varying body types. I've also been attracted to some skinny guys, but don't much care for having sex with a skinny boy (the hipbones bump together...owwie). Personality is key in my choice though, rather have a skinny boy with a stellar personality than a sour fatty.

However, when I do meet the fatties with sweet personalities, it is on. :wubu:


----------



## orinoco (Mar 7, 2007)

pattycake said:


> I love the look and feel of a big guy but if he's got a sucky personality, I'll be immediately turned off.
> Slim (but not emaciated) guys can be cute too (I posted a couple of examples on the 'Hot Boy Thread' on the Lounge board),and I'd consider one if he had the kind of sweet/clever/funny/cynical/quirky personality I like. He'd have to put up with me checking out the hot fat guys all the time, though!
> So it would be ideal if I could find the body AND the personality all in one package, but if I can't have both, personality takes precedence. Would be nice if he was at least a _smidge_ chubby or with chub potential



hmmm, well speaking as a chubby guy with a sucky personality (albeit a little quirky!) i have to agree with this post, personality takes precedence....but why can we not have it all?! after all BHMs by our very nature are greedy


----------



## Blondeegrldd (Mar 7, 2007)

orinoco said:


> hmmm, well speaking as a chubby guy with a sucky personality (albeit a little quirky!) i have to agree with this post, personality takes precedence....but why can we not have it all?! after all BHMs by our very nature are greedy



It is quite easy to have it all. =)


----------



## Butterbelly (Mar 7, 2007)

I'm attracted to guys with a little chub...but their personality and sense of humor is the most important thing to me. I like someone who challenges my mind, makes me think for myself. I also like a guy who has confidence and isn't afraid to show that...not arrogance. I've dated thin guys and bigger guys. I can't say I have an overall physical preference.


----------



## Tad (Mar 7, 2007)

Snackgirl said:


> Ah, well I noticed that when I was gaining, it was less important that the person I was with be fat/gaining. It was as if I fulfilled that need for a weight gain element in the relationship.



I resemble that comment....

When my wife was steadily gaining 15+ pounds a year in the first several years of our relationship, I managed to keep my weight mostly in check. It was only when she started talking about wanting to stop gaining that I began to indulge in periodic deliberate over-eating spells, and that I began to fantasize more and more about my own gain. As she has actually lost weight, I've found myself gaining with no real concious intent to do so. 

I think there is some minimum balance of fatness that I need in the relationship. As she provides less of it, I instinctively add more of it. (which has its own complications, cause I think she has some maximum amount of fat in the relationship that she is comfortable with, which is probably less than we have now--driving her to lose more which drives me to gain more....Oy!)

-Ed


----------



## pattycake (Mar 7, 2007)

orinoco said:


> hmmm, well speaking as a chubby guy with a sucky personality (albeit a little quirky!) i have to agree with this post, personality takes precedence....but why can we not have it all?! after all BHMs by our very nature are greedy



Well obviously it would be preferable to find someone who had it all. I don't see why I have to chose one or the other, but I would reject a BHM who didn't have the personality I like but would consider a man who wasn't a BHM but had the personality I like. As I've said before, body shape can change (what if my sucky BHM lost weight? Then I'd be stuck with a man whose body I'm not into and whose personality I never liked either) but personality doesn't change (unless they're afflicted with some kind of multiple personality/brain chemistry disorder). An a**hole isn't suddenly going to grow into a wonderful person, but a slim guy may grow into a BHM! (not a requirement but wouldn't that just be gravy if it happened?)


----------



## Kiki (Mar 7, 2007)

pattycake said:


> An a**hole isn't suddenly going to grow into a wonderful person, but a slim guy may grow into a BHM! (not a requirement but wouldn't that just be gravy if it happened?)



Very well put, pcake!

My own answer to the question;

Fat + bad personality = no thanks.
No Fat + good personality = maybe.
Fat + good personality = Yes please!!!


----------



## Melian (Mar 7, 2007)

orinoco said:


> hmmm, well speaking as a chubby guy with a sucky personality (albeit a little quirky!) i have to agree with this post, personality takes precedence....but why can we not have it all?! after all BHMs by our very nature are greedy



Awww...I bet you have a great personality (quirky guys are fun)!!

And Kiki, what a fantastic and efficient summary :bow:


----------



## PrettyKitty (Mar 9, 2007)

Butterbelly said:


> I'm attracted to guys with a little chub...but their personality and sense of humor is the most important thing to me. I like someone who challenges my mind, makes me think for myself. I also like a guy who has confidence and isn't afraid to show that...not arrogance. I've dated thin guys and bigger guys. I can't say I have an overall physical preference.




My sentiments exactly.


----------



## estrata (Mar 9, 2007)

He needs to be funny, have a cute mouth, be a good kitty father, and treat me like a princess.

Luckly my hubby is all of these things. When I met him he was skinny, but I still fell in love! Though now he's filling out a bit.


----------

