# Fat Pregnancy



## Fat Brian (Feb 3, 2008)

My wife and I are thinking about having a baby. She has PCOS and may need help from a doctor to conceive. At about 330 lbs. no doctor we have seen yet is even willing to talk about her getting pregnant, much less helping her. Most doctors we have seen have her in her grave when we walk in the door and so do most of her "friends". Is fat pregnancy really that dangerous or is it more fear-mongering from the medical establishment ?


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## bexy (Feb 3, 2008)

Fat Brian said:


> My wife and I are thinking about having a baby. She has PCOS and may need help from a doctor to conceive. At about 330 lbs. no doctor we have seen yet is even willing to talk about her getting pregnant, much less helping her. Most doctors we have seen have her in her grave when we walk in the door and so do most of her "friends". Is fat pregnancy really that dangerous or is it more fear-mongering from the medical establishment ?




*I'm 330lbs and recently was thinking about having a baby with my partner, my doctor seemed fine with it, had no concerns about my weight, only about another medical condition i have. so we've decided to wait a little longer. im not sure about the ins and outs of PCOS or plus size pregnancy, but this site is amazing. Also you could try going to your family planning clinic or family planning association for some advice on fat friendly docs.  good luck!!*

http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/


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## ZainTheInsane (Feb 3, 2008)

My sister has this...and to my understanding, it isn't the weight which will be the difficult thing, or the reason for the need for doctors help. The reason people with PCOS (again to my understanding) need a doctor's help, is because of the hormonal, and fertility problems associated with PCOS.

So, essentially, if you find a doctor who is willing to look past your wife's weight, then all it would be is fertility meds, or perhaps another method of artificial conception. Beyond that, with the proper monitoring, she'd likely carry to term without trouble...

Unless there is something I'm missing...which there could be.

Research PCOS, pregnancy, and the like. Look for specialists.
And good luck!


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## love dubh (Feb 4, 2008)

http://dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=22511&highlight=plus-sized+pregnancy

http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/


I hope HottiMegan and Ella Bella (and other mothers) chime in. They'd have some great advice for you.


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## Britannia (Feb 4, 2008)

I personally don't know anything really about this sort of thing, but my mother is about to get her doctorate to become an internationally accreditted (sp?) midwife and I just sent her an email asking her the question you posted in your original message. She's a very liberal thinker, and bluntly honest, so I think that her advice will be some of the best you can get (but maybe I'm just biased... lol)

Will post it to you as soon as she responds.

And as for my personal response, I just hope that everything works out, and you two end up having as easy a pregnancy as possible, and have a beautiful, healthy baby!


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## Fat Brian (Feb 4, 2008)

We've been dealing with the PCOS for a few years now, its only recently that we have wanted a child. She also has fibromyalgia and is not quite as fit as we would like her to be , we're working on that also. Its just every OB/GYN we've seen tells her to lose between 100 to 200 lbs, she's going to be 29 in March and really doesn't want to wait until she's 40 to have a baby.

Normally you'd just show up pregnant at the doctors office, leaving them no choice to treat you but in her case we may need assistance. Its getting her down worrying about all this other stuff when we should be having a good time.


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## LoveBHMS (Feb 4, 2008)

Have doctors told you what worries them about her health as far as a pregnancy goes?

Do they believe she would be prone to gestational diabetes? High blood pressure?

When you say she is not as fit as she needs to be, have you spoken to doctors about specific health problems that need to be addressed?

Additionally, beyond the physical stress of a pregnancy, there are physical stressors that go along with infertility treatment depending on what type of assisted reproduction methods you use. Keep in mind doctors today by necessity are very litigation conscious to the point where many simply opt out of OB-GYN practices all together. It only takes ONE patient to sue claiming the doctor "should not have helped her get pregnant when she had risk factors" and s/he would be out of business.


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## ThatFatGirl (Feb 4, 2008)

I think you might get some helfpul information on forums for PCOS Pregnancy specifically. There's a Yahoo group: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/PCOS-Pregnancy/ and a really great site for info: http://www.soulcysters.net/ (click on message boards and scroll down). Many of the participants on both sites are "overweight" as well (obesity and PCOS go hand in hand). 

Don't give up. Keep meeting with doctors until you find one who will work with you. You're rather vague in your post, so I don't know if fertility specialists specifically have said they can't help or if your wife's regular ob/gyn feels your wife is at risk if she gets pregnant. Perhaps he or she can refer you two to a high risk pregnancy specialist? That is what my ob/gyn suggested when I asked about pregnancy a few months ago. I also have PCOS, high blood pressure, I'm 10 years older and weigh 100 lbs more than your wife. My doctor didn't blink an eye when I suggested we might try conceiving (we've since let the idea go as we decided the timing isn't right).

Is your wife's doctor what you might consider "fat friendly?" If not you might want to check this list  and start out fresh with someone new and hopefully more openminded when it comes to fat, fitness, and health.

Good luck!


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## Miss Vickie (Feb 4, 2008)

Hi Brian. Self-admitted birth geek here, who's been a doula for many years, is a L&D and Mom Baby nurse now with future plans to be a midwife. So this is a bit of a passion for me. It doesn't mean I know everything, but it does mean I care.



Fat Brian said:


> My wife and I are thinking about having a baby. She has PCOS and may need help from a doctor to conceive. At about 330 lbs. no doctor we have seen yet is even willing to talk about her getting pregnant, much less helping her. Most doctors we have seen have her in her grave when we walk in the door and so do most of her "friends". Is fat pregnancy really that dangerous or is it more fear-mongering from the medical establishment ?



I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling. Seems like the best thing is to get the PCOS under control, and that will require the help of an open minded OBGYN. Often (not always) PCOS can prevent pregnancy, and it causes its own problems unrelated to fertility. You could check out www.soulcysters.com for excellent information about PCOS.

Is it dangerous to be fat and pregnant? No, not always. I mean, birth is pretty safe (though like anything it does have some risks -- as does life). Birth in the 21st century is about as safe as its ever been though other countries have us beat in terms of infant mortality. Her best chances for a healthy pregnancy are to get in the best physical health she can prior to pregnancy (this does NOT mean losing weight necessarily but it does mean eating well, being as active as she can be, given her problems, taking vitamins -- especially folic acid). 

I work for the "establishment" and have also worked for the "anti-establishment" (home birth midwives) and I have to say that I don't see doctors out there making up hypertension in patients and forcing preeclampsia on them. I don't see them forcing them to have gestational hypertension. However, it does seem that larger women do struggle with these issues more than average sized women; I see it not as a moral issue, though, but more as a health issue. Just as a first time mom over the age of 35 (or under 15) is going to have specialized health concerns that we need to be aware of, the same is true of women of size. The difference is that lots of fat women are given a ration of shit about their size, told they MUST lose weight before becoming pregnant, etc. I think that's ridiculous.

Your best resource and partner will be a size-neutral OB or midwife (I'm partial to midwives because in general they treat pregnancy and birth as a natural, safe event and only intervene when truly necessary). They will be able to guide you and your wife through her pregnancy and help her to feel as good as she can and grow a nice, healthy baby.



Fat Brian said:


> We've been dealing with the PCOS for a few years now, its only recently that we have wanted a child. She also has fibromyalgia and is not quite as fit as we would like her to be , we're working on that also. Its just every OB/GYN we've seen tells her to lose between 100 to 200 lbs, she's going to be 29 in March and really doesn't want to wait until she's 40 to have a baby.
> 
> Normally you'd just show up pregnant at the doctors office, leaving them no choice to treat you but in her case we may need assistance. Its getting her down worrying about all this other stuff when we should be having a good time.



I would worry more about the fibromyalgia than anything. What kind of pain meds is she on? It would be good for her to talk to whoever her fibro doc is about what medications are safe during pregnancy. Pregnancy is HARD on the body (I know -- I've had three kids!), and there are a lot of aches and pains that go along with it. Her fibro may get better or worse, I just have no way of predicting, but she needs to be prepared to deal with her pain a "baby-safe" way and since lots of the meds used are new on the market I don't know what their safety is.

And like others have suggested, don't forget to check out the Plus Size Pregnancy website. It's been a great resource for many of us who have had plus size pregnancies. I had my youngest at home, with a midwife, at 250 pounds. You have to be low risk to pull that off safety, and I did it. That website is very reassuring and supportive and has lots of excellent information, including research to back up the assertions made. I haven't actually done research in awhile since I'm working with women and am too busy caring for each one I have, which I treat individually and not as some silly statistic. But the research is out there and your OB might be interested in knowing it. In the meantime, though, keep searching for an OB or midwife who is supportive of your desires (without just telling you what you want to hear -- that wouldn't be safe) and who you both are comfortable with.

I wish your wife a happy, healthy pregnancy when the time is right for her. 

PS Don't forget! 400 mcg of folic acid daily not only prevents neural tube defects but also seems to help prevent premature labor. What's not to love about that? And they say that women who are of childbearing age should all take it. I'd definitely say if you're thinking about getting pregnant it's one of those "must have's" to take, if the research is correct.


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## fatgirlflyin (Feb 4, 2008)

Fat Brian said:


> My wife and I are thinking about having a baby. She has PCOS and may need help from a doctor to conceive. At about 330 lbs. no doctor we have seen yet is even willing to talk about her getting pregnant, much less helping her. Most doctors we have seen have her in her grave when we walk in the door and so do most of her "friends". Is fat pregnancy really that dangerous or is it more fear-mongering from the medical establishment ?



Hi Brian, 

I dont know anything about PCOS, only what I've read about here so I've nothing to add on that front. However, I'm fat and I'm a mom twice over!

I was fat when I concieved and delivered both of my children (naturally and with no drugs thank you very much) so you can get pregnant while fat. You can have a healthy pregnancy while fat even! I had no complications during my pregnancy unless you count constant heartburn and swollen ankles, but even skinny chicks get that. 

The only thing that I didn't like about being fat and pregnant was that I didn't get the tummy that stuck out and made everyone take notice that I was expecting. I was already a big girl and the way I'm shaped pregnancy didn't change much. Plus I only gained about 25 pounds so it didn't make much of a difference. 

I wish you guys luck!


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## Fat Brian (Feb 5, 2008)

Miss Vicky, I'm glad you found this thread. I've seen your advice to other people and greatly value your opinion.

We have only seen two regular gynecologists so far, this is still in the very early stages. Most of the comments have been more fat-phobic than based on sound medicine. Let me give a more complete run down of her physical situation now that I've got more time.

She was diagnosed with fibromyalgia when she was 18 by a rhumetologist. She is having to treat it herself because she has been refused any kind of painkillers, the doctors say she is too young and they don't want her to become addicted to them. This has led to her not being able to be very active, making it difficult to keep her body toned with light exercise. Overdoing it just a little bit can put her in the bed for a week or more at a time with a flare up.

Her period started when she was ten years old and in her late teens began to become irregular. She has been on some kind of birth control since she was 19 to regulate her period. After bleeding for two months while still on the birth control she was diagnosed with PCOS. The doctor changes her birth control and put her on 50mg of glucophage to help with her insulin resistance and hormone reaction in general. After finding out about the glucophage her regular insisted she was diabetic and upped it to 200mg. Taking glucophage at that level when you don't actually have high blood sugar leads to hypoglycemia, she ate constantly and gained a fair amount of weight. After a year or so of this we went to a diabetes special and got her the real test for type II, she doesn't not have it, not even pre-diabetes. The extra glucophage was stopped but the extra weight has decided to hang around, I'm not complaining mind you, its just sorry that they treat her poorly for being fat and then proceed to make her fatter.

Around the same time as the PCOS happiness was going on she was diagnosed with bipolar II. She had been on some form of antidepressant since she was 19 but was always told she had mild depression. She now talks Lexapro, Clonopin, Zonegran, and Ambien for her mental regulation. We have been told she will have to get off of these medicines completely before we should even start to have a baby, her psychiatrist is going to help her when the time comes but this part is still worrisome. 

I hope this provides a more complete view of the situation and clears up any gray areas. When we got married we were not planning on having any children for the health reasons listed above but the biological clock keeps ticking and now she has reached a point that she really wants to try. It bothers me terribly that how she has been treated for even asking about something that they would bend over backwards to help a thin woman with. Crystal has never been really pro-fat but this issue is really getting to her, we saw Marilyn Wann on headline news yesterday cheering what she said. Maybe there's hope for her yet.


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## HottiMegan (Feb 5, 2008)

It really has to do with finding a GOOD doctor. I am currently almost 14 weeks pregnant and have a wonderful doctor that has never actually mentioned my fat or treated me differently. It's like night and day from my last pregnancy experience. It is SUPER important to find a non-fat phobit doctor. I am blessed to have a great doc this time. My last doctor i had with my son often said i'd be lucky to carry my boy to 27 weeks. I have a happy healthy nearly 5 year old. Yes he was born with a couple of birth defects but they had nothing to do with me being fat.

I have a good friend who is 27 and has pcos (and diabetes) and is probably in her mid 200's and was on fertility drugs to help her conceive. She had a healthy baby girl in October and has a 3 year old too. So it isn't unheard of to have a healthy baby. I think it's jsut a matter of finding the right doctor who is supportive and understanding.

The various issues your wife has may be made to feel worse while pregnant because it is a strain on the emotions and body.


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## Miss Vickie (Feb 5, 2008)

Fat Brian said:


> Miss Vicky, I'm glad you found this thread. I've seen your advice to other people and greatly value your opinion.



Aw, thanks, Brian.



> She was diagnosed with fibromyalgia when she was 18 by a rhumetologist. She is having to treat it herself because she has been refused any kind of painkillers, the doctors say she is too young and they don't want her to become addicted to them. This has led to her not being able to be very active, making it difficult to keep her body toned with light exercise. Overdoing it just a little bit can put her in the bed for a week or more at a time with a flare up.



Sounds like a bad combo. So does she see a rheumatologist now? I think that since there are better drugs out there (not narcotics but others), maybe she could find someone more helpful and sympathetic. Once she gets that under control she could maybe be more active which would help her shed a little weight.

BTW, does she like the water? It's so easy on the joints and a good way to be active without it hurting so much.



> Her period started when she was ten years old and in her late teens began to become irregular. She has been on some kind of birth control since she was 19 to regulate her period. After bleeding for two months while still on the birth control she was diagnosed with PCOS. The doctor changes her birth control and put her on 50mg of glucophage to help with her insulin resistance and hormone reaction in general. After finding out about the glucophage her regular insisted she was diabetic and upped it to 200mg. Taking glucophage at that level when you don't actually have high blood sugar leads to hypoglycemia, she ate constantly and gained a fair amount of weight. After a year or so of this we went to a diabetes special and got her the real test for type II, she doesn't not have it, not even pre-diabetes. The extra glucophage was stopped but the extra weight has decided to hang around, I'm not complaining mind you, its just sorry that they treat her poorly for being fat and then proceed to make her fatter.



Hmmm. Okay so what kind of doctor manages her PCOS? Is it a reproductive endocrinologist? A regular endocrinologist? A OB/GYN? It really sounds to me that she needs to be worked up really really well by an expert so that they can look at the whole picture, and get her on a good combo of meds that will help her be healthy. And yeah, taking glucophage can drop your sugars dangerously, as can Byetta, or any other glucose regulating drug. For lots of women, though, meds like Glucophage do help with PCOS.

Poor thing.  I'm glad she's not diabetic, though. That is EXCELLENT news. They just need to figure out what's going to work to get her PCOS under control so that she can be fertile. Did you check out the www.soulcysters.com website? I bet they have great lists of docs who could help.



> Around the same time as the PCOS happiness was going on she was diagnosed with bipolar II. She had been on some form of antidepressant since she was 19 but was always told she had mild depression. She now talks Lexapro, Clonopin, Zonegran, and Ambien for her mental regulation. We have been told she will have to get off of these medicines completely before we should even start to have a baby, her psychiatrist is going to help her when the time comes but this part is still worrisome.



Yup, she'll definitely have to figure something out when it comes to her emotional state. Pregnancy causes a lot of crazy emotional changes and if her baseline is unstable, it won't help. But you know, I wonder how much of what she's going through isn't hormonally mediated by the PCOS. This is totally anecdotal but it seems a lot of people with PCOS also have secondary emotional issues (and why wouldn't they? PCOS sucks) but some of them have had good resolution of their mental health issues by getting the hormones under control that cause the PCOS. I don't know your wife, her situation, etc but I just wanted to give you guys that little nugget of hope that if her PCOS is under control, the other stuff may improve as well.

I wish you both the very very best of everything you wish for. Never give up, Brian. Anything worth having is worth fighting for. You're using your resources well and I hope you can get her some really good help so that she can have the baby she wants after getting nice and healthy. 

Let me know if there's anything I can do to help, ok?


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## Fat Brian (Feb 6, 2008)

Currently the only doctor she sees is her psychiatrist. About a year ago we went to a pain management specialist who put her on Ultram. Crystal has a very sensitive stomach, she had an ulcer when she was 12 from caffeine in soda, and the Ultram began to bother her after about a month. When she asked the doctor for a different med they called her a drug addict and showed her the door, when asked how she could be addicted to a drug she'd never had in the first place they didn't have a clear answer.

She does enjoy the water, our apartments have a very nice pol but it is closed till spring. She wants to go when it opens and try some water exercises, even getting and splashing around some last year helped her until the pool was closed.

Her PCOS was being treated by her regular doctor , he had her on Yasmin birth control. When her prescription ran out we had decided to talk to someone about this so we had an appointment with a gynecologist. He told to loose 150 pounds and that he could not ethically help her get pregnant at her weight. He also refused to renew her birth control prescription for the same reason, she had been taking fine for years before but now he said it would kill her. Since we knew we were going to go elsewhere when the time was right she went off birth control after that to see if her period would smooth out. Its not like clockwork but it does come most of the time.

She hasn't been on glucophage since it was determined that she didn't have diabetes. The 50 mg originally prescribed didn't affect her appetite much but the 200 mg really messed her up.

Clinical depression does run in her family, her dad is severely Bipolar, but getting the PCOS hormonal stuff under control before trying to go off her mental meds sounds pretty good to me. Shes fairly stable without meds, her bipolar is not really as bad as most. She has more problems with anxiety but her psychiatrist is willing help her, if her other docs were as good as him she'd be doing a lot better than she is.

Thanks everyone for responding, I hope she gets some comfort from hearing all this, and Miss Vickie, I'm sure I'll be bothering you again.


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## Fat Brian (Feb 6, 2008)

Also, is a natural birth or a C-section better for people with fibromyalgia ? People have been telling her to get a C-section but we feel that a natural birth would be less traumatic to her body. Cutting muscle tissue and nerves is something we would like to avoid unless its a medical necessity.


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## Miss Vickie (Feb 7, 2008)

Fat Brian said:


> Also, is a natural birth or a C-section better for people with fibromyalgia ? People have been telling her to get a C-section but we feel that a natural birth would be less traumatic to her body. Cutting muscle tissue and nerves is something we would like to avoid unless its a medical necessity.



Gosh, Brian, I have no idea. I'm not sure if fibromyalgia is a condition for which they would even do a cesarean. Natural birth is usually less traumatic and if she's worried about pain, she could have an epidural. Cesareans hurt more, carry more complications and have a higher mortality and morbidity rate. So it's not something to take lightly, which LOTS of people seem to do, almost as though women have zippers installed. 

This is definitely something to talk to the doctors about.



missaf said:


> I say this with the utmost care and concern for you and your girl, Brian.
> 
> There's a lot more going on than just fat pregnancy here. Realistically, you have a lot of answers and information to chew on, but it may not be what you both want to hear. Like Vickie said, pregnancy and fibromyalgia don't get along too well. Wit some women with fibro, depression comes with the pain, and pregnancy and post-partum hormone issues could make it worse.
> 
> ...



I agree with everything Missaf says. She is very wise and knows a lot. I worry less about your sweetie's size than her other issues. Whatever ends up happening, you'll need a specialist, and she'll probably end up at least consulting with a perinatologist during the pregnancy, even if the majority of her care is by an OB or midwife. Perinatologists care for high risk pregnant women, and routinely treat women much sicker than your wife. 

Just keep looking for the right provider and help her be as healthy as she can be in the meantime. Good luck!


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## Fat Brian (Feb 7, 2008)

The reason I posted this is because I'm very concerned for my wife's well being and with finding the best solution for all involved. If that means not having a child then so be it. I know there are more issues than just her weight but that is the one she seems to get the most flak for from outsiders. I wanted a view from a size-neutral prospective about our situation. Thank you for your help.


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## Miss Vickie (Feb 7, 2008)

Fat Brian said:


> The reason I posted this is because I'm very concerned for my wife's well being and with finding the best solution for all involved. If that means not having a child then so be it. I know there are more issues than just her weight but that is the one she seems to get the most flak for from outsiders. I wanted a view from a size-neutral prospective about our situation. Thank you for your help.



Best of luck, Brian. It's obvious you care very much about her. I hope you can find a really excellent professional who can look at the whole picture -- the PCOS, fibro, mental health issues, and her weight if it's an issue, too -- and help guide you guys into the right direction.

We're hoping for the best for you two!


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## ExpandingHorizons (Feb 13, 2008)

I believe it depends on the weight and existing health issues and you're getting pregnant. 

My friend is around 260 lbs (mostly muscle and big boned mass) and she's more than 5 months pregnant and so far she's doing well and have had check ups and everything is going well so far. Her baby is kicking time to time, pretty annoying ha ha. Her belly is starting to grow bigger too. It didn't show until around nearly 5 months pregnant. She takes the special vitamins prescribed by the doctor for the baby to develop properly and stay healthy. 

She doesn't smoke or drink and don't clean cat litter or anything that pregnant women should not do during their pregnancy. Mileage varies women to women.


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## chunkeymonkey (Feb 13, 2008)

Hi Brian,
I have PCOS and have 2 healthy boys ages 4 1/2 and 8 yrs. I went through fertility treatments to get pregnant. I didn't lose weight to have them either. I was 290 lbs when I got pregnant. I did suffer numerous miscarriages I can count them with hand and feet. I also had numerous tumors on my thyroid which had to be romoved completely...that could have cause me grief as well. The key to a great pregnancy is to have great doctors that are non judgemental and supportive. I was very lucky to have a great team of encouraging dr's. There are some natural vitamins that can also perk your fertility. Here is A HELPFUL website that may help. http://www.ovulation-calculator.com/infertility.htm
good luck hope this has a bit of helpful information for you.


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## ChubbyBubbles (Feb 13, 2008)

Fat Brian said:


> My wife and I are thinking about having a baby. She has PCOS and may need help from a doctor to conceive. At about 330 lbs. no doctor we have seen yet is even willing to talk about her getting pregnant, much less helping her. Most doctors we have seen have her in her grave when we walk in the door and so do most of her "friends". Is fat pregnancy really that dangerous or is it more fear-mongering from the medical establishment ?



I, too, have PCOS and was told by doctors that I would NEVER have children. Approx. 3 years ago, at 470 pounds, I began to have isues with being tired all the time, "bloating", "gas", and the inability to sleep on my stomach anymore. I also suffer from primary lymphedema so I just attributed all of these symptoms to that. I went to see my GYN for my annual and told her that my husband and I wanted to have a baby but weren't able to conceive. After the exam she send me for blood work to see where we needed to begin to start the process of having a child. Well weeks passed and I finally got a call back from the doctor's office. I was pregnant! The blood work showed I was very far along. 7 1/2 months to be exact! (explains all the symptoms I had!) My GYN sat me down in her office and started to "lecture" me on my weight and being pregnant. I stood up and told her if she had a problem with my weight, then I would find another doctor. She was shocked. She sat back in her chair and smiled. She told me she liked my attitude and we would need to work together on making this a healthy delivery. My son was born a month and a half later weighing in at 9.1 pounds. I delivered via C-section and had no problems with my pregnancy at all. My doctor was surprised that I had one of the healthiest and easiest pregnancies she had ever seen. My blood pressure remained normal, no diabetes and I recovered from the c-section within a week or so. So to make a long story short...don't listen to what most of these doctors have to say. Keep looking until you find the right one! I wish you luck! God Bless!


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## Fat Brian (Feb 14, 2008)

We've got an appointment with a high risk pregnancy specialist in about two weeks, we'll see where that gets us.


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## Clariposita22 (Feb 16, 2008)

i was over 300 lbs when i was pregnant with both of my boys. my doctor told me i would have trouble conceiving because of my weight. i didn't even think about it and got pregnant twice. i had gestational diabetes and i had to do insulin to keep it under control but that was it.......


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## Miss Vickie (Feb 16, 2008)

Fat Brian said:


> We've got an appointment with a high risk pregnancy specialist in about two weeks, we'll see where that gets us.



Glad to hear it, Brian. Please come back and let us know what they say, okay?


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