# Do you believe in love at first sight?



## likeitmatters (Apr 3, 2010)

*I do believe in love at first sight and you all know about my immoral beloved and I will tell you that after chatting with him on internet messenger, I knew he was going to live with me after 5 minutes but the rest is how you say ancient history and I like to know if you Believe in love at first sight?

:bow:*


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## Zowie (Apr 3, 2010)

I'd have to say no. I mean, I'm young and pretty inexperienced, but I don't think it'll ever happen, nor I'd let it happen if it was possible. It's just too irrational! To think that you can immediately click with someone is great, but it's not a reason to call it love, nor is it a reason to believe that said conection will be sustained. And then you have all sorts of other imputs to you and the person's personalities that would make it completely impossible to maintain.

I'm a logical bitch when it comes to love.  But that being said, my only time being in love was completely irrational. And ended badly. Sooo not doing that again. o_o Next time I'm careful.


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## stldpn (Apr 3, 2010)

I don't know if it's love at first sight but I can always sort of tell even right at the beginning if a meeting is going to be enjoyable and whether or not this person will affect me in a positive or damaging way overall. Sometimes even self-destructive relationships have been fun. Sucks but it is true.


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## WillSpark (Apr 3, 2010)

bionic_eggplant said:


> I'd have to say no. I mean, I'm young and pretty inexperienced, but I don't think it'll ever happen, nor I'd let it happen if it was possible. It's just too irrational! To think that you can immediately click with someone is great, but it's not a reason to call it love, nor is it a reason to believe that said conection will be sustained. And then you have all sorts of other imputs to you and the person's personalities that would make it completely impossible to maintain.
> 
> I'm a logical bitch when it comes to love.  But that being said, my only time being in love was completely irrational. And ended badly. Sooo not doing that again. o_o Next time I'm careful.



Hey me too! I think I'm in love! (Pshaw) 

But really, I think the idea that someone can actually experience love at first sight is not only a product of romantic novels or movies but also is one of the contributers in the higher divorce rate nowadays. People have become enamored with the "have your way right away" mentality that they don't think beyond the pale and when things finally get real you're already in too deep. 

Then again, love is a lot of the time associated with whim and spontaneity and emotion and is thus put outside of the realm of logic or rationale. You aren't supposed to be smart in love, which typically leads to some really stupid desicions. 

I'm also completely generalizing, as there are always exceptions, and maybe it exists and I'm just a cynical bastard who hasn't experienced it yet.


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## Tyrael (Apr 3, 2010)

Well the only experience i have ... wasnt really love i guess..

I met a girl on a chat.. and we talked a bit .. cammed.. 
and the next day (O.O) i meeted her but the problem was.. it was at her home... with her mom also there and stuff, i felt a bit uncomfortable but well how could i know ...

Was my first thingy that was heading to like a relation..
After about a month i guess, being there about 4 times a week it still didnt feel right.. really uncomfy..
So i wanted to talk about getting things on a lower pitch and she really totally freaked out! 

She threatened me with suicide and all that weird stuff and at a time she wrote a goodbye letter or something, so i called the police.. seems nothing was going on ..

So i simply banished her out of my life... in some way i really feel hate for her.. 
And so it ended..

My first thing looking like it was going to be.. ohh and i also ended up with a 300 euro phone bill... still my own foult.. but i was so stupid >.<


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## stldpn (Apr 3, 2010)

Tyrael said:


> Well the only experience i have ... wasnt really love i guess..
> 
> I met a girl on a chat.. and we talked a bit .. cammed..
> and the next day (O.O) i meeted her but the problem was.. it was at her home... with her mom also there and stuff, i felt a bit uncomfortable but well how could i know ...
> ...



Don't feel too bad man. There is many a fat guy with a similar story. It doesn't mean your emotions were wrong or foolish just that there was nothing that you could actually rest them on in her.


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## chicken legs (Apr 3, 2010)

Yes I do believe in love at first site as much as I believe in hate at first site. My gut instincts have never failed me.


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## Tyrael (Apr 3, 2010)

Well stldpn, you know what it is..

i know your right... but in some way is still blame myself for believing her bullcrap and also for letting my phone bill get that high..

and i know ... all said after it happend but still cant stand it >.<


And back on topic... i do believe in the fact that there is one person for eachother... but that it happens on first meeting .. small chance..
So i hardly believe in love on first sight


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## FishCharming (Apr 3, 2010)

the first time i saw my ex-wife she was sitting at an outside table of a coffee shop and my friend and i were walking up. i took one look at her and went all daffy in the head, grabbed my friend by the shoulder, pointed at her and said " holy shit! I am totally going to marry that girl!" after a few months we started dating and then a few years later we were married. 

so judging by how i referred to her as my ex-wife i'm sure you can all figure out how well that worked out, lol. so yeah, i do believe in love at first sight but that doesn't mean that it's necessarily a good thing


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 3, 2010)

No.

I believe in attraction or lust at first sight but I define real love much differently than mere attraction.


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## BigChaz (Apr 3, 2010)

I fall in love with myself all over again every morning in the mirror.


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## ogie (Apr 3, 2010)

bionic_eggplant said:


> I'd have to say no. I mean, I'm young and pretty inexperienced, but I don't think it'll ever happen, nor I'd let it happen if it was possible. *It's just too irrational!* To think that you can immediately click with someone is great, but it's not a reason to call it love, nor is it a reason to believe that said conection will be sustained. And then you have all sorts of other imputs to you and the person's personalities that would make it completely impossible to maintain.
> 
> I'm a logical bitch when it comes to love.  But that being said, *my only time being in love was completely irrational*. And ended badly. Sooo not doing that again. o_o Next time I'm careful.



so love at first sit is irrational, and love is rational? I think that indeed love at first site exists. Or at least the romantic in me likes to think the idea of love at first site exists. I think everyone has a fantasy that one day they will go somewhere and meet a prefect girl and everything will come up roses. But that is usually not how things work. I am normally a cynic, but for this i am keeping hope. For all of the things in this world love is the one thing that one should never be cynical about.


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## ChubbyBubbles (Apr 3, 2010)

I definitely believe...the moment I laid eyes on my husband...I knew. I just knew. It's something that's felt not only in your heart, but in the deepest part of your soul. We've been happily married for 6 years now. :wubu: 

View attachment 100_4895.JPG


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## stldpn (Apr 3, 2010)

ogie said:


> For all of the things in this world love is the one thing that one should never be cynical about.



Repeated for truth... somebody rep him I've run dry


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## Zowie (Apr 3, 2010)

Ahh no I seemed a little cynical earlier when I posted (I was hanging out with my ex-boyfriend, to make it better. Definitely no love there, despite both of us getting along very well). I'm not cynical about love, nor will I consider my life complete without a real partner to go through with it. I just don't think I'll cross him on the street and know it then. Nor will I, as FishCharming said, decide I'll marry a person on the spot.
But that was really nice, your story, Fish. ^^' I'm really sorry it didn't work out for you two.




BigChaz said:


> I fall in love with myself all over again every morning in the mirror.



FTW. I don't seem to be able to rep, but well, public rep.


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## spiritangel (Apr 3, 2010)

I can't be cynical about love, it somehow taints love for me. After all there is such magic in love. I am a romantic I believe in love at first sight, and happily ever afters but also know that love and relationships take effort and work by both parties, the whole like friendship it is a two way street that needs to have equal traffic on both sides thing. We never know what life will bring our way, but unless we are open to the possibilities we may miss out on the magic.


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## likeitmatters (Apr 3, 2010)

I guess I was lucky to have met my carl and I asked him to marry me in the first few minutes of chatting with him and then asked him to move in with me in another few minutes. I never had sex with him nor ever touched him till I went and picked him up and we just clicked and I am lucky and blessed to have been with him for 5.5 years and we even went to work together and had lunch together and did everything together.

and now I am so jaded that I wont give anybody the time of day because I was so spoiled rotten by carl. And I have enough memories to last me a lifetime....


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## Geodetic_Effect (Apr 4, 2010)

I don't believe in love. so no, i don't believe in love at first sight either.


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## FishCharming (Apr 4, 2010)

likeitmatters said:


> I guess I was lucky to have met my carl and I asked him to marry me in the first few minutes of chatting with him and then asked him to move in with me in another few minutes. I never had sex with him nor ever touched him till I went and picked him up and we just clicked and I am lucky and blessed to have been with him for 5.5 years and we even went to work together and had lunch together and did everything together.
> 
> and now I am so jaded that I wont give anybody the time of day because I was so spoiled rotten by carl. And I have enough memories to last me a lifetime....



man, talk about lucky! your story really appeals to that doe-eyed inner romantic in me=) 

while i don't know if i'd ever let myself experience "love at first sight" again that doesn't mean i'm going to completely give it up either. i'm definately more guarded now and, i like to think, a little more responsible with my emotions.

but the potential to make new memories is out there. life is short and i think that you know that better than most of us. instead of honoring your love by putting it on a pedestal that you can admire and reflect on fondly you should try to get out there and celebrate it by sharing it with others.


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## likeitmatters (Apr 4, 2010)

Geodetic_Effect said:


> I don't believe in love. so no, i don't believe in love at first sight either.



I feel sad for you and I guess when you have relations with someone you dont make love you just slam them and thank you and leave...is that what you are saying?


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## Geodetic_Effect (Apr 4, 2010)

likeitmatters said:


> I feel sad for you and I guess when you have relations with someone you dont make love you just slam them and thank you and leave...is that what you are saying?



not exactly. it's difficult to explain in a way that people understand. they always mistake it for negativity or bitterness. refer to it as cynicism. although they would probably be correct in calling me a cynic if they were using the classical greek definition. not the modern misinterpretation. love is an illusion. people take the fondness they have for someone they feel a connection with and create a fairytale in their mind.


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## chicken legs (Apr 4, 2010)

Geodetic_Effect said:


> people take the fondness they have for someone they feel a connection with and create a fairytale in their mind.



That is an example of obsessive love, which means your ass is crazy. If someone is not emotionally balanced then how they express love is going to be unbalanced.


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## Geodetic_Effect (Apr 4, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> That is an example of obsessive love, which means your ass is crazy. If someone is not emotionally balanced then how they express love is going to be unbalanced.




no, i'm referring to all romantic love.


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## Zowie (Apr 4, 2010)

Ooooh does anyone watch Mad Men?  "Love is something guys like me made up to sell nylons."


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## Tyrael (Apr 4, 2010)

Now thats what we call a strategist


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## chicken legs (Apr 4, 2010)

Geodetic_Effect said:


> no, i'm referring to all romantic love.



A person has to be emotionally mature to handle any form of love.

and excerpt from the site above...

"The Ability to Give and Receive Love
Emotional maturity fosters a sense of security which permits vulnerability. A mature person can show his vulnerability by expressing love and accepting expressions of love from those who love him. An immature person is unduly concerned with signs of "weakness" and has difficulty showing and accepting love. The egocentricity of immaturity will allow the acceptance of love, but fails to recognize the needs of others to receive love. They'll take it, but they won't give it."


For me, romantic love mixes with my true love all the time. Its like adding frosting to cake. Sure cake is good all by itself but sometimes adding the frosting really gives it that zing. However, you don't want to over do it because you might get a tummy ache.


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## Geodetic_Effect (Apr 4, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> A person has to be emotionally mature to handle any form of love.
> 
> and excerpt from the site above...
> 
> ...



You don't get what I'm saying at all.


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## chicken legs (Apr 4, 2010)

Geodetic_Effect said:


> You don't get what I'm saying at all.



lol...ok


What are you saying?

On a side note, I'm qouting you because you are making me think about love and its various forms and expressions. I'm basically posting outloud. Your actually not saying alot for me to really understand your view point. I do feel you represent alot of people who are very guarded when it comes to matters of the heart.


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## likeitmatters (Apr 4, 2010)

Geodetic_Effect said:


> not exactly. it's difficult to explain in a way that people understand. they always mistake it for negativity or bitterness. refer to it as cynicism. although they would probably be correct in calling me a cynic if they were using the classical greek definition. not the modern misinterpretation. love is an illusion. people take the fondness they have for someone they feel a connection with and create a fairytale in their mind.




not a fairytale but reality. My relationship was based on fact and for the very reason we bonded mentally and physcially to the point where I would start a sentence and he would finish it and we were as one if you can believe that. And fondness is a the beginning stages of love and how you proceed remains to be seen though after reading your response it makes me wonder if you are the type that believe in open relationships or multi-level relationships and that you love everybody.

I am just wondering though...do you date at all and do the gals stay around when you tell them you do not believe in love at all?

:bow:


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## Geodetic_Effect (Apr 4, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> lol...ok
> 
> 
> What are you saying?
> ...



It's a difficult thing to explain. I'm not "guarded" either. I'll work on a better explanation. and to be clear one thing up, i'm not saying that because love is an illusion that it is a bad thing. or that people shouldn't partake in the fairy tale. you can have a perfectly happy, healthy relationship living in that fantasy. 



likeitmatters said:


> after reading your response it makes me wonder if you are the type that believe in open relationships or multi-level relationships and that you love everybody.
> 
> I am just wondering though...do you date at all and do the gals stay around when you tell them you do not believe in love at all?
> 
> :bow:



an open relationship might be good. i've never been in one so i don't no how long it could actually last. I tend to either avoid dating altogether or sabotage myself. This includes purely physical relationships. physical relationships inevitably lead to emotional relationships, at least in my experience. at this initial emotional stage i have no problem. my opinions on love also get the fear of intimacy/commitment reaction. i have no fear, i enjoy intimacy very much and don't have a problem being with only one partner for an extended, indefinite period of time. the problem comes when this emotional connection becomes "love". i don't get attached in the same way they do. i tend to go off and do my own thing whenever. which means she might not hear from me for a while. someone says "hey i'm going to europe for a couple months, want to come" and i jump on a plane the next day. i can not deal with insecurity or jealousy, someone bothering me about where i'm going and what i'm doing or bitching because i don't "check in". so it typically ends badly with the woman being hurt. this is not my intention but is what happens. so my solution is to just avoid dating or to sabotage myself early in the relationship before this attachment occurs. how i do this varies, but the basic goal is not to reject them but to make them not interested in me anymore. more often it is total avoidance.


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## likeitmatters (Apr 4, 2010)

Geodetic_Effect said:


> It's a difficult thing to explain. I'm not "guarded" either. I'll work on a better explanation. and to be clear one thing up, i'm not saying that because love is an illusion that it is a bad thing. or that people shouldn't partake in the fairy tale. you can have a perfectly happy, healthy relationship living in that fantasy.
> 
> 
> 
> an open relationship might be good. i've never been in one so i don't no how long it could actually last. I tend to either avoid dating altogether or sabotage myself. This includes purely physical relationships. physical relationships inevitably lead to emotional relationships, at least in my experience. at this initial emotional stage i have no problem. my opinions on love also get the fear of intimacy/commitment reaction. i have no fear, i enjoy intimacy very much and don't have a problem being with only one partner for an extended, indefinite period of time. the problem comes when this emotional connection becomes "love". i don't get attached in the same way they do. i tend to go off and do my own thing whenever. which means she might not hear from me for a while. someone says "hey i'm going to europe for a couple months, want to come" and i jump on a plane the next day. i can not deal with insecurity or jealousy, someone bothering me about where i'm going and what i'm doing or bitching because i don't "check in". so it typically ends badly with the woman being hurt. this is not my intention but is what happens. so my solution is to just avoid dating or to sabotage myself early in the relationship before this attachment occurs. how i do this varies, but the basic goal is not to reject them but to make them not interested in me anymore. more often it is total avoidance.



you sound like you should stay alone because if I was the gal you meant I am the type of person who asks questions and I mean alot of questions like being in a relationship and how many women have you dated and how are your views on dating.

Believe me I have met quite a few men who been grilled like a cheese sammich and I felt they were not worth even being friends because our views were so much different and I tell them thanks but no thanks and best of luck. I am not saying you are a bad person but to not experience love in your life and feel what it is like is so wrong but on the other hand you are very young also...which is understandable.

thank you for the reply.


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## Esther (Apr 4, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> No.
> 
> I believe in attraction or lust at first sight but I define real love much differently than mere attraction.



I agree with this completely.


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## chicken legs (Apr 4, 2010)

Geodetic_Effect said:


> an open relationship might be good. i've never been in one so i don't no how long it could actually last. I tend to either avoid dating altogether or sabotage myself. This includes purely physical relationships. physical relationships inevitably lead to emotional relationships, at least in my experience. at this initial emotional stage i have no problem. my opinions on love also get the fear of intimacy/commitment reaction. i have no fear, i enjoy intimacy very much and don't have a problem being with only one partner for an extended, indefinite period of time. the problem comes when this emotional connection becomes "love". i don't get attached in the same way they do. i tend to go off and do my own thing whenever. which means she might not hear from me for a while. someone says "hey i'm going to europe for a couple months, want to come" and i jump on a plane the next day. i can not deal with insecurity or jealousy, someone bothering me about where i'm going and what i'm doing or bitching because i don't "check in". so it typically ends badly with the woman being hurt. this is not my intention but is what happens. so my solution is to just avoid dating or to sabotage myself early in the relationship before this attachment occurs. how i do this varies, but the basic goal is not to reject them but to make them not interested in me anymore. more often it is total avoidance.



LOL...

I'm the same way. I grew up with older parents who ended up giving me alot of wiggle room because I wasn't a problem child. As a result I'm used to a high level of trust and whatnot. So when dealing with people who don't know how to trust, who are clingy, insecure, get jealousy easily..etc...its gets old fast. 

One thing I'm working on is trying not to objectify men. I have a tendency to lump men into one of two areas...lover or friend. However, it has been really fun having my cake and eat it too, but it can get messy either way....even when your upfront.


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## tankgirl (Apr 5, 2010)

Used to. Then I woke up (today, and not just for the first time) wondering why the fuck I am where I am at.
Then I realize (every time) that it was because I was "chasing my heart."
Stupid, stupid, STUPID waste of time.
Chase your DREAMS. Heart will lie. 
People lie. People steal. People cheat. People don't care about other people. People are stupid, and you just can't fix stupid.
So fuck faith, to hell with hope, and out with optimism.
Useless wasting of time, hoping people will pull their heads out.
They won't.
So move on and pray you miss the fallout when they find out you were right, they were wrong, and maybe they should have listened to you after all.
Remember, stupid (not crazy, I said STUPID) is:
Doing the same thing, over and over, in the same fashion, and expecting a different result.

A good rat always makes it off the sinking ship.
And a good pirate can always find a new ship.

Show me love at first sight and I'll show you at least one fool and at least one con artist.


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## likeitmatters (Apr 5, 2010)

tankgirl said:


> Used to. Then I woke up (today, and not just for the first time) wondering why the fuck I am where I am at.
> Then I realize (every time) that it was because I was "chasing my heart."
> Stupid, stupid, STUPID waste of time.
> Chase your DREAMS. Heart will lie.
> ...




I had love at first 5 minutes of chatting with my carl. We met on august 17th at 6 30 pm 1998 and he moved in a week later sight unseen and I never saw what he looked like except in a picture and never went to bed with him till he was with me, so I firmly believe in love at first sight...and I am a better man for the time we were together if I understand what you are saying.


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## BigChaz (Apr 5, 2010)

tankgirl said:


> Used to. Then I woke up (today, and not just for the first time) wondering why the fuck I am where I am at.
> Then I realize (every time) that it was because I was "chasing my heart."
> Stupid, stupid, STUPID waste of time.
> Chase your DREAMS. Heart will lie.
> ...



*My day: before your post*







*My day: after your post*


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## ogie (Apr 5, 2010)

BigChaz said:


> *My day: before your post*
> 
> 
> 
> ...



the hurricane katrina of hope. lol


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## Zowie (Apr 5, 2010)

Bahaha, Chaz, that was my reaction too.

But tankgirl, you make the whole thing sound negative, as if you're giving up on love altogether. There is love outside of the first sight. I mean, okay I've only had real love once, and only realized it more than a year after being friends, then girlfriend to him. But things to develop over time, and love does happen, there's no question about that.
*Hugs* You'll find someone great soon, I'm sure. :happy:


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## Venom (Apr 5, 2010)

I believe in lust at first sight, but not love at first sight (unless its cute baby animals). I feel that love is a more complex emotion that has to build and develop over time in the relationship.


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## WillSpark (Apr 6, 2010)

likeitmatters said:


> I had love at first 5 minutes of chatting with my carl. We met on august 17th at 6 30 pm 1998 and he moved in a week later sight unseen and I never saw what he looked like except in a picture and never went to bed with him till he was with me, so I firmly believe in love at first sight...and I am a better man for the time we were together if I understand what you are saying.



You do realize that since you met by chat and only saw one picture it wasn't "love at first sight," right?


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## BigChaz (Apr 6, 2010)

WillSpark said:


> You do realize that since you met by chat and only saw one picture it wasn't "love at first sight," right?




Love at first byte


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## KittyKitten (Mar 29, 2011)

Yes, I strongly believe in love at first sight. I am an intuitive person, I believe that each person sends off a type of aura. Some are negative, some are positive. There is this feeling that you get deep down in your body when you first lay eyes on someone you have met, a loving feeling.


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## Tyrael (Mar 29, 2011)

there might be... for me... always been 1sided love at first sight... makes you bitter... lol


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## littlefairywren (Mar 29, 2011)

The romantic side of me wants to believe in love at first sight, but the logical side wins out on this one. You can meet someone and feel an instant connection, or lust, or feel that "thing." But love, true love, is something that grows between two people over time and is nurtured by both parties. Love is what you have when you know you can withstand the hardships and the ups and downs that happen in a relationship, and you both grow together as a result.


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## rellis10 (Mar 29, 2011)

Nope...

...Although I'm generally quite cynical when it comes to that kind of thing.

I think I have a pretty interesting view on it now though. The first time I saw the woman I love was in a picture on these boards. Did I love her immediately? No. I thought she was beautiful, certainly, but there's a long distance between thinking someone's beautiful and loving them.

What made me love her was her personality, and even then it needed to grow from liking her very much to loving her. But now I can't imagine my life without talking to her every day and every chance I get, and being that close to her.

So there's my two cents. :blush:


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## paintsplotch (Mar 29, 2011)

::: stands up and raises hand ::::


My Name is Jenny and I am a HOPELESS ROMANTIC.

i have yet to have my love returned... but when i am with someone i love with all of my heart.
i have loved at first sight...meeting someone wonderful and just enjoying that moment to its fullest..... it simply wasnt returned. 

i so look forward to the day when someone loves me too. ahhh....


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## CarlaSixx (Mar 29, 2011)

Raising my hand 

I believe in love at first sight. It's happened for most of my friends, it's happened for me, and for my family. In fact, that's the story of how my grandmother and grandfather got together. My grandmother spotted him across the room and told everyone she found the man she was going to marry... but she didn't even know a thing about him at the time. Now they're 61 years married. 

But even then... it doesn't have to last to be love at first sight. That's my belief, anyway. If it's your heart and soul that's exploding of joy and not your private parts, then it's love at first sight.


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## Tad (Mar 29, 2011)

littlefairywren said:


> The romantic side of me wants to believe in love at first sight, but the logical side wins out on this one. You can meet someone and feel an instant connection, or lust, or feel that "thing." But love, true love, is something that grows between two people over time and is nurtured by both parties. Love is what you have when you know you can withstand the hardships and the ups and downs that happen in a relationship, and you both grow together as a result.



I'd agree with this. Of course, if you feel that first connection, or lust, or other 'thing' and that gets you talking, and you become a couple, and it grows into love.....that can get interpreted as love at first sight.


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## JenFromOC (Mar 29, 2011)

Yes, I do.


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## johniav (Mar 29, 2011)

I believe love comes with the time that it takes to become infatuated with someone. This is different for each situation.


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## CastingPearls (Mar 30, 2011)

My father saw my mother in a dream and the next day he saw her in person and fell deeply in love with her and adored her until the day she died, shortly after 36 years of marriage. They had their ups and downs but they were devoted to each other and I distinctly remember how my dad would gaze at my mom and talk about dreaming of her and loving her then. 

My mother's mother saw a young soldier at a beer hall in Germany surrounded by many pretty girls and was thoroughly disgusted by the hero worship and at that moment he looked up and saw her and fell in love. He had to pursue her for a bit but he adored her until he died after nearly 50 years of marriage. She was more pragmatic than romantic but they were devoted to each other and were a formidable team. 

When my brother Dave saw his wife for the first time it was also love at first sight for both of them and they're married almost 20 years and still going strong. 

The first time I saw my husband I knew I was going to marry him. It wasn't love or even butterflies at first sight. I just felt very calm and centered. I wonder to this day if that was a warning sign because those I loved before him had been all butterflies and lightheadedness almost like I was drunk. My marriage is not happily ever after at all and although I can't imagine right now ever getting married again (but I won't say never because that always bites me in the ass) I think I'd like to believe love at first sight could be real and true and possible. And as lasting as it was for others in my family.


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## penguin (Mar 30, 2011)

The romantic in me hopes it exists, but I doubt it'll ever happen to me.


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## paintsplotch (Mar 30, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> My father saw my mother in a dream and the next day he saw her in person and fell deeply in love with her and adored her until the day she died, shortly after 36 years of marriage. They had their ups and downs but they were devoted to each other and I distinctly remember how my dad would gaze at my mom and talk about dreaming of her and loving her then.
> 
> My mother's mother saw a young soldier at a beer hall in Germany surrounded by many pretty girls and was thoroughly disgusted by the hero worship and at that moment he looked up and saw her and fell in love. He had to pursue her for a bit but he adored her until he died after nearly 50 years of marriage. She was more pragmatic than romantic but they were devoted to each other and were a formidable team.
> 
> ...



your stories of your family give me hope... perhaps thats silly of me... but its true. i want so badly to believe there is someone out there for me. i put myself out there- go to dances, have my ads online, meet new people daily... all with a hope i will meet someone. i dont expect somethign to happen every time i leave the house, i just feel that if i am a good person and do my best every day, perhaps someone will notice me. thats not my purpose for living... i have a life.... but it doesnt hurt to hope.
make sense?


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## Anjula (Mar 30, 2011)

yes, I do.


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## lovelocs (Mar 30, 2011)

I don't, because I can't *see* the things that are most important to me.


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## Fallenangel2904 (Mar 31, 2011)

Sometimes I feel jaded and cynical, but no I don't believe in love at first sight. I used to, I've always been a hopeless romantic, but after finding what I thought was love at first sight and it just falling to hell- I reanalyzed it and realized it was more lust at first sight.

MAYBE love at first sight does exist, but really- I think 98 percent of the time we mistake lust for love. How can you REALLY love someone based on sight? You don't know them at all. Your in love with their look, or what they project. Its a fantasy your in love with. I'm not saying love can't develop from this, because it most definitely can, but that initial moment- the butterflies we get- the moment we often mistake for love- its lust.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Mar 31, 2011)

i think love at first sight has more to do with you being physicaly attracted to someone.but at the same time i must admit sometimes you lock eyes with someone and just feel something,it is hard to explain,it's almost like magic.so in a way it seems possible.lol


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## escapist (Apr 1, 2011)

HeavyDuty24 said:


> i think love at first sight has more to do with you being physicaly attracted to someone.but at the same time i must admit sometimes you lock eyes with someone and just feel something,it is hard to explain,it's almost like magic.so in a way it seems possible.lol



To me this is the most true. I believe in chemical induction at first sight which leads to feelings of euphoria and attraction. I personally believe love is more than an emotion and as such can be built and strengthened much more than any feeling. The funny thing is its hard to build that bond without "The Spark". So if you feel like I just contradicted myself maybe I did. I'm sure I'm not the first person in the universe to believe and disbelieve a concept that has no form or true language, only the shape we give it with our own thoughts and experiences.

It really just is one of those "Chicken & the Egg" kind of things to me. :happy:


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## chicken legs (Apr 1, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> My father saw my mother in a dream and the next day he saw her in person and fell deeply in love with her and adored her until the day she died, shortly after 36 years of marriage. They had their ups and downs but they were devoted to each other and I distinctly remember how my dad would gaze at my mom and talk about dreaming of her and loving her then.
> 
> My mother's mother saw a young soldier at a beer hall in Germany surrounded by many pretty girls and was thoroughly disgusted by the hero worship and at that moment he looked up and saw her and fell in love. He had to pursue her for a bit but he adored her until he died after nearly 50 years of marriage. She was more pragmatic than romantic but they were devoted to each other and were a formidable team.
> 
> ...




Holy cow..I had a dream about Escapist. However, I usually have dreams about people I'm going to meet and other things as well.


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## djudex (Apr 1, 2011)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yMiOTxidFs&feature=player_embedded


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## JenFromOC (Apr 1, 2011)

djudex said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yMiOTxidFs&feature=player_embedded



I am laughing so hard right now....try this one too....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c06pinaKl8o


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## escapist (Apr 1, 2011)

djudex said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yMiOTxidFs&feature=player_embedded




ROFL, ok that totally reminds me of back when I first started going out again. I met who I thought was this very cool girl. We started talking, were hitting it off, I was thinking how can this girl be single, she's attractive, she has a very good job...welllllll yeah it turned into a train wreck. Much like our friend in the phone call I developed a case of "I need to grab some fresh air" and she was going to go use the restroom with all her girlfriends (as women tend to do at clubs). I thought that was it, Her friends were there to "Save Her" (and hopefully me). Oh no my friend I come back from my 10-20 minutes of getting air and who tracks me down!...ahhhh It was another hour before I was able to escape such a "Wonderful Connection". :doh:

Sooooo yeah sometimes when you "Think" you want to find someone, you end up thinking "I'd give a million dollars to be stuck on a deserted island for a day!"

Nothing is worse than a 1-way-love-connection!


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## WillSpark (Apr 1, 2011)

escapist said:


> The funny thing is its hard to build that bond without "*The Spark*".



Sup?............


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## escapist (Apr 1, 2011)

WillSpark said:


> Sup?............



touché, good form.


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## PigPen (Apr 5, 2011)

no no no and fuck NO


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## djudex (Apr 5, 2011)

I actually do. I have a big gooey center when you get down to it.


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## JulieD (Apr 5, 2011)

it depends if we have sex or not...


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## BeerMe (Apr 6, 2011)

Frankly, the thought of someone falling in love with me in a short amount of time is extremely off-putting.

Maybe it's true for some people, but I need more information than looks and a brief conversation.


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## ManBeef (Apr 6, 2011)

love for someones appearance at first sight, yes. but love love as in true love, no. there is no substance. that is like looking at a black dude && automatically thinking he is finna rob you. plain out dumb if you ask me. at first sight scenarios are nothing more then bolts of intense attraction.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Apr 8, 2011)

escapist said:


> To me this is the most true. I believe in chemical induction at first sight which leads to feelings of euphoria and attraction. I personally believe love is more than an emotion and as such can be built and strengthened much more than any feeling. The funny thing is its hard to build that bond without "The Spark". So if you feel like I just contradicted myself maybe I did. I'm sure I'm not the first person in the universe to believe and disbelieve a concept that has no form or true language, only the shape we give it with our own thoughts and experiences.
> 
> It really just is one of those "Chicken & the Egg" kind of things to me. :happy:



i do agree,a woman can look at you,and just smile,and sometimes you just feel an instant spark,even though you haven't talked to her or anything like that yet,you just feel an unknown aura of attraction and spark.it's hard to explain the feelings,it feels like it could be a mixture of lust,attraction,and something else.like i said feels just like magic.LOL


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## Cors (Apr 8, 2011)

No, I believe that love has to be mutual and mature. I have felt the spark numerous times though and must say that the elusive chemistry pushes me to work a lot harder at those relationships.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 10, 2011)

Cors said:


> No, I believe that love has to be mutual and mature. I have felt the spark numerous times though and must say that the elusive chemistry pushes me to work a lot harder at those relationships.




This is it in a nutshell for me, too.


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## luvbigfellas (Apr 10, 2011)

First sight? No.

I believe in connection upon first meeting however. And oddly, most of the people I connected with the first time I met them have been the consistent ones in my life in one form or another.


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## likeitmatters (Apr 11, 2011)

but first, I still believe in love at first sight however this time was I hate you at first sight. I met my partner a few years ago and I felt he was a big asshole and a waste of time and I stopped talking to him. Now lets move forward a few years later and I came across his profile and I said well his profile seems to be sincere but being cautious I said to him in email, that his profile was well written and seemed sincere and I was expecting a less than sincere reponse or no response which I had come to expect from the community. he responded to me and said my profile was truthful and down to earth and sincere. Ofcourse I said thank you for the kind words and let it go at that.

Well, I went looking at other profiles and looking at the news and he responded to me and asked me some questions and wanted to know more about me and I am wondering why he wants to know more about me, I doubted he was interested in me or just a booty call probably but I answered him back and told him what he wanted to know. Well to make a long story short, we started chatting and comparing notes and we had more in common than I thought and we started chatting everyday twice a day once in the morning and at night.

Well, me still being cautious and wanting to know what was his story about I asked him some questions and him telling me a bunch of lies and get ready for a let down, I was shocked to see he told me the truth.

Well moving forward, we started to fall for each other and I never saw him before he moved to me from Flint Michigan and he paid for his bus trip and not me and he treats me with all the love and care that I could ever ask for in a partner. He is the last person I see at night and the first person I see in the morning and finally after all the years of being alone, this man makes my life complete and my spirit and soul and brain are at peace and I count my stars that he choose me even with dealing with my bouts of anger which I am dealing with though meds..

he is the last man I will be to enjoy the second half of my life.

Please look at the pic and see why I am so happy... 

View attachment 0330111933.jpg


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## HeavyDuty24 (Apr 14, 2011)

Cors said:


> No, I believe that love has to be mutual and mature. I have felt the spark numerous times though and must say that the elusive chemistry pushes me to work a lot harder at those relationships.



well said i do agree.the people i have that instant connection with are the ones i feel i know longer,and the ones that usually stay around.


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## likeitmatters (Apr 16, 2011)

how you can fall in love with someone even without meeting them. For me, it was my heart and brain in nsync with each other and dating the old fashion way. No sex before committment and I believe at least with me that this will always be the best way to get to know someone.

sometimes you can feel it in your heart when your heart and the other persons heart connect on some level. The feeling you get is nothing short of incrediable when you know this is the one and other times you feel that this person is wrong wrong wrong.

I have met men in the past that were there just to keep me company which I knew was wrong and I let them go. Thank god they can enjoy their lives in their own way.


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## NYC_FFA (Apr 16, 2011)

I don't believe in love at first sight, but I had attraction at first sight with the man who has now become my husband. The funny part is that I was actually dating someone else at the time, so even though he told my sister and her boyfriend that I was cute, we didn't start dating until almost a year later when I was single again.

He still gives me a hard time about wanting to jump his bones the first time I saw him. :blush:


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## GentleSavage (Apr 17, 2011)

I kind of do, I guess. I mean I think it has only happened to me once, but wussed out on doing anything about it. 

And now since I'm graduating in a month, there isn't much of a point for me to pursue her. 


But I totally believe in friendship at first sight. My best friend/old roommate who I met at orientation I knew was going to be my best friend at college. And we instantly clicked. I don't know where I'd be without him.

Love you Corey. Huggles.


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## Surlysomething (Apr 18, 2011)

"dating the old fashion way. No sex before committment"

Online isn't an "old fashioned" way.

You keep flogging this horse. Different thread, same way to get this across.

I find it amusing, since you're in what is considered an 'alternative' relationship, that you would still spout this over and over again.


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## Dockta_Dockta (Apr 18, 2011)

Not love at first sight. I agree with a lot of people here. Yes there can be an attraction, lust, even just a curiosity. Love though? I don't think so.


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## likeitmatters (Apr 18, 2011)

Surlysomething said:


> "dating the old fashion way. No sex before committment"
> 
> Online isn't an "old fashioned" way.
> 
> ...



thank you for the response...we will agree to disagree.

but thank you for the response. :happy::happy:


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## luvbigfellas (Apr 18, 2011)

I can't have a commitment without some intimacy first. 'Cause I may love a person to death, but if there's not sexual compatibility, then I'd rather just have a friend for life. But maybe that's just me.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Apr 23, 2011)

luvbigfellas said:


> I can't have a commitment without some intimacy first. 'Cause I may love a person to death, but if there's not sexual compatibility, then I'd rather just have a friend for life. But maybe that's just me.



hmm interesting...*thinks*.LOL


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## The Orange Mage (Apr 23, 2011)

I believe to small extent, yes. It's easily confused for lust, though. From what I feel, it's this combination of voice, eyes, how they move, how they act...first impressions can be an incredibly strong indicator.


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## Surlysomething (Apr 25, 2011)

likeitmatters said:


> thank you for the response...we will agree to disagree.
> 
> but thank you for the response. :happy::happy:




I saw your original reply.

Thanks for your continued passive/aggressive bullshit. Haha.


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## likeitmatters (Apr 26, 2011)

Surlysomething said:


> I saw your original reply.
> 
> Thanks for your continued passive/aggressive bullshit. Haha.




boo hoo to you too lol :batting::batting:


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## Goreki (Apr 26, 2011)

Surlysomething said:


> "dating the old fashion way. No sex before committment"
> 
> Online isn't an "old fashioned" way.
> 
> ...


Surly, the site is spouting some bullshit about me spreading rep. Just so you know, I would not like to spread it right now. I would like to give it to you.


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## Lorenzo670 (May 11, 2011)

yes i do believe it


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## Kamily (May 11, 2011)

Lust at first sight? Sure. Love at first sight? Nope.


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