# O Libido!



## love dubh (Dec 23, 2007)

Recently, I have had no desire to be sexual. It's really unfortunate, because my boyfriend is a (more) sexual being. The stress of the semester and current BV (on anti-infectives now) are contributing factors. Now that vacation has begun, and the excrutiating vag pain is being treated, do you have any suggestions for heightening my libido? Alternative methods welcome!


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## ZainTheInsane (Dec 23, 2007)

love dubh said:


> Recently, I have had no desire to be sexual. It's really unfortunate, because my boyfriend is a (more) sexual being. The stress of the semester and current BV (on anti-infectives now) are contributing factors. Now that vacation has begun, and the excrutiating vag pain is being treated, do you have any suggestions for heightening my libido? Alternative methods welcome!



Do something spontaniously romantic and sexually inclined...OR

Plan out a nice weekend between yourself and your boyfriend. Lean it towards things that you 'normally' find erotic, sensual, and sexual. Have a whole day where all you do is have one thing after another that's fun, interesting, and is laid-out to turn you on. Make sure to have a lot of fore-play before trying sexual intercourse of any kind.

If none of this helps at all, I suggest waiting it out. If your boyfriend is a decent guy he'll understand, and though he'll suffer a bit for it, he'll enjoy the benefits of waiting.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Dec 23, 2007)

I'm told that chocolate -- particularly dark chocolate -- is an aphrodisiac.:eat2:


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## love dubh (Dec 23, 2007)

Thank you, good sirs, for your replies.

What other things are aphrodesiacs? Has anyone experimented with aromatherapy or other holistic/alt. methods?


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## Miss Vickie (Dec 24, 2007)

For me, lots of non-sexual touching is a real turn on. Can you ask your guy to give you a no expectations massage? There's nothing like soft light, nicely scented massage oil and some soft music to help me relax and get in the mood.

Barring that, I've heard that erotica is helpful. And nutritionally, zinc is hugely important in supporting the body's libido.


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## bexy (Dec 24, 2007)

*molton brown do a lot of body washes with aphrodisiac oils in, and benefit do a perfume called maybe baby made with the same sort of oils....

hope u feel better soon huni *


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## ZainTheInsane (Dec 24, 2007)

love dubh said:


> Thank you, good sirs, for your replies.
> 
> What other things are aphrodesiacs? Has anyone experimented with aromatherapy or other holistic/alt. methods?



Ummm....well, here is a link which might help you start your search....interestingly enough oysters, ginseng, balut, kelp, etc...those are all aphrodisiacs. I have never tried any of them, but it couldn't hurt...unless you're allergic.

Aromatherapy works, but it has to be a scent which puts you into a sexual mood, or something which entices you towards that mood. For instance, your boyfriend's deoderant, his after-shave, or something like that. Sometimes familiar scents of a sexual partner trigger desire.

Phermones also tend to trigger desire, though those are more subtle. Essentially his sweat...gross as that may sound.

As far as becoming turned on by any/all of those things, it is a case by case basis, and really what you'd have to do is figure out, and like I said before, plan out something in advance where it leans towards a sexual occasion.

Have him make use of your erogenous zones, try experimenting with some new ones in addition to ones you know have turned you on in the past.

I have no doubt you'll succeed if you try...but some key things to avoid.
Worrying/doubting. Kills a man's libido like a shotgun to the face. Seriously. For yourself, being doubtful, worried, feeling weird or strange, can cause 'friction' problems, and make it not so much fun. I suggest indulging in LOTS of fore-play, and keeping it very senual, very erotic...and not pushing too soon into sex.

In my own experience, or what I like to call 'making-love', it is a slow, gradual process, which involves verbal (whispering into my girlfriend's ear, your boyfriend doing the same), physical (ex: caressing erogenous zones...scalp, nipples, buttocks, neck, etc), and mentally being relaxed, and gradually being turned on so much that she (my girlfriend, or you in this equation with your boyfriend) feel completely turned on.

I can't promise it will work, all I know is it always has. The key is slow, steady build up, which leads to longer endurance for the guy, and a LOT more pleasure for the girl...as well as decreased likelihood of friction, combined with, if done right...multiple orgasms before the guy has his own...or even simultaneous orgasms. 

Good luck, and I definitely hope this helps. :bow:


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## sweet&fat (Dec 24, 2007)

You seem to be thinking a lot about this, and being in your own head instead of your body can be the worst mood-killer as I'm sure you know. Ok, second to vag pain, but you know what I mean!

First off, I suggest a glass of wine or two, just enough to keep your mind from wandering. Try to get in touch with your carnal side by gathering simple, tactile sensations that you enjoy- do you feel sexy wearing silk? Would a hot bubble bath make you feel soft and sexy? Is there a scent that you adore? How about the favorite treats that you like to eat? Enjoy whatever these might be slowly, taking your time, without the expectation of anything sexual happening right away, just enjoying your sweetie's company. I know a good red wine and some lovely chocolate never fails to get me in the mood... kissing with chocolates is heaven... even better when you're sitting on someone's lap! 

Good luck!


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## Fascinita (Dec 24, 2007)

I've gone through periods of not feeling sexual. I've learned that they come and go. It's fine to wait it out. Your libido will return. My other suggestion is to explore an area of your sexuality that you have not touched on before. Sometimes it's just exciting to "get into" something new that maybe you have been too shy to indulge in before. In fact, I've sometimes wondered if the low-libido times don't work as signals that it's time to expand the repertoire and put a little different spin on things.

I have to try the kissing with chocolates thing. Sounds messy and fun. And since I like a little rough-around-the-edginess, a little biting in between kissing. And then a little fucking.


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## sweet&fat (Dec 24, 2007)

Fascinita said:


> I have to try the kissing with chocolates thing. Sounds messy and fun. And since I like a little rough-around-the-edginess, a little biting in between kissing. And then a little fucking.



Precisely.


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## sweet&fat (Dec 25, 2007)

ZainTheInsane said:


> As far as becoming turned on by any/all of those things, it is a case by case basis, and really what you'd have to do is figure out, and like I said before, plan out something in advance where it leans towards a sexual occasion.
> 
> Have him make use of your erogenous zones, try experimenting with some new ones in addition to ones you know have turned you on in the past.
> 
> ...



Damn, Zain... your gf is one lucky lady!


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## ZainTheInsane (Dec 25, 2007)

sweet&fat said:


> Damn, Zain... your gf is one lucky lady!



Thank you, but she's not half as lucky as I am to have her  :wubu:


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## sweet&fat (Dec 26, 2007)

ZainTheInsane said:


> Thank you, but she's not half as lucky as I am to have her  :wubu:



That's really wonderful!


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## SocialbFly (Dec 31, 2007)

I have to agree with Ms Vickie, i read erotica and love it, although in between guys, well, it sucks, thank god i can take matters into my own hands...oh wait, that is not appropriate for here is it, lol...


so, yeah, erotica, helps alot, stimulate the mind and it will stimulate you...


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