# What do you want to know about the opposite sex.



## Ample Pie (Jul 17, 2007)

We have threads about what we want the opposite sex to know and threads about what we want to know about board members, etc. This one is more of the "what you've always wanted to know about the opposite sex but have been too ______ to ask" except that you'll have to ask. I guess.

Anyway.

Here are my questions:

Guys: How would you prefer that we refer to your genitalia? Seriously? How and when does it change depending on the situation? How would you prefer we didn't refer to your genitalia?

----

*note* I'm starting with fairly innocuous questions, but there are probably other, more interesting, questions bobbing around upstairs--I just need to access them. Also, it goes without saying that same sex questions are just peachy keen, too, and that all answers and responses are liable to be subjective and relative to the person giving them, etc etc etc etc.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jul 17, 2007)

I have found most men have a name for that part of the anatomy. I use that.


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## Wagimawr (Jul 17, 2007)

To quote Steve Buscemi from _Reservoir Dogs_, "dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick."

That works, there's also cock, wang, schlong.

The potential for hilarity is present in all of them, but the wrong one at the wrong time can indeed...deflate the situation.

Which one's wrong? It just depends (although there's no way "schlong" or "wang" could ever be sexy, yes?).


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## Fuzzy (Jul 17, 2007)

Two words: Boob Sweat. How do you cope?


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## Tina (Jul 17, 2007)

Fuzzy, there is a lovely way for any SSBBW to cope in the heat. Put a dress on and ride, legs spread and tits up in the car with the air conditioning vents pointing up the dress. It's lovely. :wubu:   

Boob sweat specifically... sometimes a shower is the only thing that's going to help if it's been a long day. Otherwise, after the shower and drying off thoroughly, a good anti-perspirant rolled on there really helps.

Men: do you wipe after you pee, ever, or only shake it off?


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## jack (Jul 17, 2007)

Geez, I don't know. But *definitely not* "tool," "organ," or "member."


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## Ivy (Jul 17, 2007)

jack said:


> Geez, I don't know. But *definitely not* "tool," "organ," or "member."



fxkstick is okay though, right?


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## Les Toil (Jul 17, 2007)

Quite a ways back I used to date a woman that had a habit of putting her hand down her pants and slipping a finger or two into her "genitalia" and pulling it up for a whiff to assess the funk of her flower. I mean she'd do this in the middle of a conversation with me, while reading a book, while watching TV, etc... as if she wasn't even conscious of the act. On the one hand (no pun intended) the gesture seemed infinitely more guyish than us guys grabbing our crotches for no reason (which I've never done nor can I claim I've seen before). On the other hand it seemed like an extremely feminine gesture because she was always making sure Miss Puss smelled clean. 

A show of hands. How many woman here have this same particular habit?


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## jack (Jul 17, 2007)

tool:





organ:





member:


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## jack (Jul 17, 2007)

Ivy said:


> fxkstick is okay though, right?



Baby, i'ma go down on you like the god damn *i edited this because i don't want to get banned*.

You can call it my f**kstick any day of the week.




p.s. in retrospect, i guess my edit didn't matter, because ivy quoted me before i changed it.


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## Ivy (Jul 17, 2007)

jack said:


> Baby, i'ma go down on you like the god damn twin towers.
> 
> You can call it my fuckstick any day of the week.



show me those lemons. :batting:


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## jack (Jul 17, 2007)

Ivy said:


> show me those lemons. :batting:












wait... something's not quite right here.


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## Ivy (Jul 17, 2007)

jack said:


> wait... something's not quite right here.








pervert.

p.s. sorry for posting this picture of you.. i know it was supposed to be for my personal collection. forgive me?


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## jack (Jul 17, 2007)

Ivy said:


> pervert.



Ivy brought her "A" game tonight.


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## Les Toil (Jul 17, 2007)

_"Guys: How would you prefer that we refer to your genitalia?." _

To this day I can't think of a cuter, sweeter term for our members than the one Pam Anderson nicknamed her then-hubby Tommy Lee's:

Weenis.


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## jack (Jul 17, 2007)

Ivy said:


> p.s. sorry for posting this picture of you.. i know it was supposed to be for my personal collection. forgive me?



*edited because i don't want to get banned again, but for those who wondered, i called her a the "c" word*

as in

C U Next Tuesday.


(the message i entered was too short. please lenghten it - get it, like a tool/organ/member! - to at least 10 "characters")

(the above was from when this post was only four letters long. i edited it, but i thought i'd leave this because it's funny to me.)


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## Ivy (Jul 17, 2007)

jack said:


> Ivy brought her "A" game tonight.



if by "a" you mean a......oleeee! ole! ole!


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## Les Toil (Jul 17, 2007)

jack said:


> *edited because i don't want to get banned again, but for those who wondered, i called her a the "c" word*



Glad to hear that cuz for a full two minutes I thought that original post was a figment of my vivid imagination.


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## Ample Pie (Jul 17, 2007)

wow, I was hoping this might become an informative thread and it's already macro fodder.

fab.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jul 17, 2007)

Les sorry to say this but that is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard. Did she wash her hands a lot. Oh I'm gonna puke.




Les Toil said:


> Quite a ways back I used to date a woman that had a habit of putting her hand down her pants and slipping a finger or two into her "genitalia" and pulling it up for a whiff to assess the funk of her flower. I mean she'd do this in the middle of a conversation with me, while reading a book, while watching TV, etc... as if she wasn't even conscious of the act. On the one hand (no pun intended) the gesture seemed infinitely more guyish than us guys grabbing our crotches for no reason (which I've never done nor can I claim I've seen before). On the other hand it seemed like an extremely feminine gesture because she was always making sure Miss Puss smelled clean.
> 
> A show of hands. How many woman here have this same particular habit?


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## Keb (Jul 17, 2007)

Yeah, um, I would say that's a negative on Les' question. Ew. 

Boob sweat isn't any worse than any other sweat, I think...and there's more material in the general area to soak it up than other places. Mind you, I discovered sweat glands I didn't know existed when I moved to Japan--they invented humidity here.

So, guys...

Do you like us better with or without makeup?


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## Paw Paw (Jul 17, 2007)

Keb said:


> Yeah, um, I would say that's a negative on Les' question. Ew.
> 
> Boob sweat isn't any worse than any other sweat, I think...and there's more material in the general area to soak it up than other places. Mind you, I discovered sweat glands I didn't know existed when I moved to Japan--they invented humidity here.
> 
> ...



It varies for me. I like both. But, I definitely do not, will not, even converse with a woman that is painted up like a circus wagon! Unless it is the game we are playing. 

And for the record: cock is an alright term.

Peace,
2P.


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## cammy (Jul 17, 2007)

I always go with cock - the response has always been excellent, especially when coupled with some other tasty language to enhance the description.


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Jul 17, 2007)

Keb said:


> Yeah, um, I would say that's a negative on Les' question. Ew.
> 
> Boob sweat isn't any worse than any other sweat, I think...and there's more material in the general area to soak it up than other places. Mind you, I discovered sweat glands I didn't know existed when I moved to Japan--they invented humidity here.
> 
> ...




Definately without.

For a start, makeup has the tendency to make you look about ten years older, and appear as if you are having an allergic reaction to a bee sting. Really, seven out of ten times your better enjoying the natural beauty of your face than trying out for the role of american geisha.


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## Carrie (Jul 17, 2007)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> Definately without.
> 
> For a start, *makeup* has the tendency to make you look about ten years older, and appear as if you are having an allergic reaction to a bee sting. Really, seven out of ten times your better enjoying the natural beauty of your face than trying out for the role of american geisha.



That's poorly applied makeup; not fun for _anyone_ to gaze upon. It kind of cracks me up when guys say that they hate makeup, because most of them would probably be pretty surprised to find that many girls who look "natural" are actually wearing makeup, just applied well. Makeup that is well applied should subtly enhance one's attributes and deemphasize flaws, not scream "OMG LUK IM IN UR WAY WARING UR MAKEUP!"  

Give you an example: I have blonde eyelashes. When I don't wear mascara, people ask me if I'm sick. Seriously. When I do wear mascara, people compliment my eyes. Not my makeup, my _eye_s. *I* can see that mascara makes me eyes more noticeable, compliments about my eyes make me feel attractive, which makes me feel confident and happy (which is not to say that I wouldn't without compliments, but sure, compliments help). It's a pretty simple cause-and-effect relationship, and that's what makeup's supposed to do for a woman. 

Like I said, I can guarantee you guys that you'd be surprised how many women who appear to be wearing no makeup actually *are*. So maybe consider amending your feelings about makeup to feelings about poorly applied makeup?


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## snuggletiger (Jul 17, 2007)

Why do ladies like talking about their exes?


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## cammy (Jul 17, 2007)

Exes are a big part of our history - for both men and women. So, sometimes the experiences we want to relate just happen to involve someone other than our gfs.


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## PamelaLois (Jul 17, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Les sorry to say this but that is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard. Did she wash her hands a lot. Oh I'm gonna puke.



That is just nasty!


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## PamelaLois (Jul 17, 2007)

Ivy said:


>



This is just a very unfortunate person, poor guy.


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## Zandoz (Jul 17, 2007)

Rebecca said:


> Guys: How would you prefer that we refer to your genitalia? Seriously? How and when does it change depending on the situation? How would you prefer we didn't refer to your genitalia?



As long as it is not laced with sarcasm and/or uncontrolled hysterical laughter, I don't really care....what ever you are comfortable with.


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## Wagimawr (Jul 17, 2007)

Wagimawr said:


> "dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick."


"How many dicks is that?"
"A lot."

...

Sorry, just had to finish that.


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## Mini (Jul 17, 2007)

How important is sex? How long will you wait for someone to be ready?


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## Shala (Jul 17, 2007)

Amen sister.




Carrie said:


> That's poorly applied makeup; not fun for _anyone_ to gaze upon. It kind of cracks me up when guys say that they hate makeup, because most of them would probably be pretty surprised to find that many girls who look "natural" are actually wearing makeup, just applied well. Makeup that is well applied should subtly enhance one's attributes and deemphasize flaws, not scream "OMG LUK IM IN UR WAY WARING UR MAKEUP!"
> 
> Give you an example: I have blonde eyelashes. When I don't wear mascara, people ask me if I'm sick. Seriously. When I do wear mascara, people compliment my eyes. Not my makeup, my _eye_s. *I* can see that mascara makes me eyes more noticeable, compliments about my eyes make me feel attractive, which makes me feel confident and happy (which is not to say that I wouldn't without compliments, but sure, compliments help). It's a pretty simple cause-and-effect relationship, and that's what makeup's supposed to do for a woman.
> 
> Like I said, I can guarantee you guys that you'd be surprised how many women who appear to be wearing no makeup actually *are*. So maybe consider amending your feelings about makeup to feelings about poorly applied makeup?


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## Ample Pie (Jul 17, 2007)

Mini said:


> How important is sex? How long will you wait for someone to be ready?



I think sex is really quite important, but how long I'm willing to wait depends on the relationship and the person with whom I'm having the relationship. I think there are good reasons to wait, but I also think that there is a point (and this point changes based on the reasons and the people involved in the relationship) when some kind of help should maybe be sought--for one or both people.


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## Ample Pie (Jul 17, 2007)

Also, even with as much of a joke as this thread lapsed into, I was quite serious about the genitalia question. It isn't that I'm shy or particularly reserved when it comes to language or nudity--but I think I may have some kind of a faulty switch upstairs.

There have been times (one time, actually, and I was QUICKLY cured of it) when I have referred to a lover's penis as "a cute little thing." Do I know now that that was a mistake? Of course. The thing is I'm trying in earnest not to make similar mistakes.

guh


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## Mini (Jul 17, 2007)

Sorry I can't be more help. I have penal issues which prevent me from giving you relevant advice.


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## Waxwing (Jul 17, 2007)

Rebecca said:


> wow, I was hoping this might become an informative thread and it's already macro fodder.
> 
> fab.



Jack: you can say cunt. I do it all the time. And quit hijacking, fucktard or I'll take back the cookie I gave you.

Rebecca: I've wondered the same. I almost always use dick. It's just easiest. "Cock" for some reason makes me laugh". 

Mini: How important is sex? Depends on the woman. To me, it's monumentally important. How long will I wait? Not long. If I'm "dating" the person? Then...hm...4 dates max. Because if I don't have a good time with you sexually, we might as well just change the term to "pals" right there and stop wasting time.

Boob sweat? No idea. Only happens with big boobies.


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## Tina (Jul 17, 2007)

*Can we please get this thread back on track? [/mod]
*


Les Toil said:


> A show of hands. How many woman here have this same particular habit?


I know it's clean because I keep it clean. If I ever wonder, I'll make a trip to the ladies' room. I confess that I find that behavior a bit bizarre.


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## AnnMarie (Jul 17, 2007)

Okay.... Les... I can't stop laughing at that whole thing. 

I'll be the first to admit, because I KNOW there are others!!!, I've done that. I do NOT do it the way or with the frequency/habit you've described, it's more of a quick check if someone is headed in the general direction, etc. It's not often, but hey... sometimes, you're just not sure! Maybe it's been a long, hot day... you don't know!

As for the ex you mentioned, she may have had an issue... seems very OCD like in the time/location/frequencey. Odd, man... just odd! lol







Mini said:


> How important is sex? How long will you wait for someone to be ready?



It's important, not going to lie. But like Waxy said... totally depends on the girl, how much she likes you, how much she's willing to let settle in, etc. 

I need to have a happy, productive, fun sex life... it's important to me. But it doesn't have to be RIGHT from the get-go. It can be something that gets worked on, as long as I know/feel my partner _wants_ to please me and is making an effort to do so. If I feel that it's just a series of selfish interactions, or there is no progress being made (all lip service, no action to improve things)... eventually that's going to be an issue. 

Part of why I date someone is to share all things, including a sex life... but it's not end all be all, it's not the only thing that matters, and it's something that can develop. We're pretty patient, trust me.  Especially when we really like someone.


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## Waxwing (Jul 17, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> It's important, not going to lie. But like Waxy said... totally depends on the girl, how much she likes you, how much she's willing to let settle in, etc.



I didn't say that. Rebecca was the nice one. I said 4th date at the latest or you're out.  

Waxwing not nice girl.


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## Keb (Jul 17, 2007)

Well...for me sex is important enough that I'd like to wait till we're married first.

...but that's just me.


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## Waxwing (Jul 17, 2007)

Keb said:


> Well...for me sex is important enough that I'd like to wait till we're married first.
> 
> ...but that's just me.



And I want it so early because it's important. Because if I don't fit with someone sexually I would hate to find that out too late. It's essential to a relationship for me. 

Not finding fault with your choices at all. Actually I think it's cool that its importance can lead people in both directions, but that we all agree that it's a big part of life.


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## jack (Jul 17, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> Boob sweat? No idea. Only happens with big boobies.




Liar. We can clearly see from this picture that your boobies are the size of Volkswagens.









Sorry about the hijacking. It won't happen again. Actually, it might. But sorry, anyway.


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## Waxwing (Jul 17, 2007)

jack said:


> Liar. We can clearly see from this picture that your boobies are the size of Volkswagens.
> 
> Sorry about the hijacking. It won't happen again. Actually, it might. But sorry, anyway.


 
Look. I don't want EVERYONE to know about my Voklswagen boobies!! They're for our special time.

And how did you get my dog!? KIDNAPPER!

Rebecca, I'm sorry. I was the one who got all pissy about hijacking and now I'm doing it. *sheepish* Back to topic now.


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## jack (Jul 17, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> Look. I don't want EVERYONE to know about my Voklswagen boobies!! They're for our special time.
> 
> And how did you get my dog!? KIDNAPPER!



If you didn't want me to steal your dog's soul you shouldn't've put a picture of your dog in your profile.

Nothing is sacred.



Okay, here's an on topic question that I want to know about the opposite sex:

(In a dating relationship)

Why can you talk about guys you think are hot to me, but get pissed if I mention that a girl is hot to you?


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## AnnMarie (Jul 17, 2007)

jack said:


> Liar. We can clearly see from this picture that your boobies are the size of Volkswagens.
> 
> Sorry about the hijacking. It won't happen again. Actually, it might. But sorry, anyway.



Seriously... take it elsewhere. We've already had complaints about the near record time it took for this thread to go off the rails, and it's still perfectly viable and interesting. 

/mod


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## mossystate (Jul 17, 2007)

Les, I wonder if any part of your friends behavior was because she liked the smell..clean..dirty...on the border. I think it is more than possible that it was an 'OCD' type thing, but you never know. When you think about how each of us are drawn, to varying degrees, to the various scents a human body can...exude...*shrug*...perhaps she was just REALLY drawn to herself..


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## AnnMarie (Jul 17, 2007)

jack said:


> Okay, here's an on topic question that I want to know about the opposite sex:
> 
> (In a dating relationship)
> 
> Why can you talk about guys you think are hot to me, but get pissed if I mention that a girl is hot to you?



Insecurity.

It never occurs to us that you could be and we never want you to forget that we need to be the "hottest" to you.

(Of course we're not all like that, and we don't all do it, but that's the general answer for the ones who behave that way.)


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## jack (Jul 17, 2007)

See, and this is what I don't get, because I can feel insecure, too. Obviousy we're dating then she is, as you said, the "hottest," to me. But that doesn't mean there aren't other good looking girls out there, and it doesn't mean if I notice a good looking girl that the other girl is "hotter" or whatever. I assume (hope) the girl I'm dating feels the same about other guys. I should be the "hottest" to her, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't be allowed to notice when a guy is cute.

Sure, sometimes it might make me feel a little insecure. But it's unreasonable to expect someone never to notice another attractive person, so I move on. And I feel like it should be the same for both sides.


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## Waxwing (Jul 17, 2007)

^^ AnnMarie is right. It's tough to break yourself of even when you know it's a double-standard. But I've actually been with lots of men who don't like it when I mention other guys, so I try not to.

I'm hoping to get to the point at which I can know emotionally as well as intellectually that there is NOTHING wrong with noticing that other human beings are attractive. It doesn't make someone love me less or be less attracted to me. 

Edit: Jack, didn't see your last paragraph, but that's it. It's totally natural. It's just hard to get to the point where your pride knows that as well. As women we're also indoctrinated to believe that our beauty is SO IMPORTANT and is what will "get us" a mate or not.


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## marlowegarp (Jul 17, 2007)

Ladies: What is the correct response to this question? 

"You thought she was hot? You think the ugliest women are attractive sometimes! I must be a beast!"

And I like John Thomas. Comments about size are not terminal (though you should know better by now) but calling it cute kills mood. Tit, however, are cute regardless of size. I have spoken.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 17, 2007)

Les Toil said:


> Quite a ways back I used to date a woman that had a habit of putting her hand down her pants and slipping a finger or two into her "genitalia" and pulling it up for a whiff to assess the funk of her flower. I mean she'd do this in the middle of a conversation with me, while reading a book, while watching TV, etc... as if she wasn't even conscious of the act. On the one hand (no pun intended) the gesture seemed infinitely more guyish than us guys grabbing our crotches for no reason (which I've never done nor can I claim I've seen before). On the other hand it seemed like an extremely feminine gesture because she was always making sure Miss Puss smelled clean.
> 
> A show of hands. How many woman here have this same particular habit?



No, Les, I don't do this.... nor have I ever met a female that did this. Was this an old gf? Perhaps she was teasing you? attempting to turn you on? Bf/husbands are the only people that have ever seen me touch mine


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## mossystate (Jul 17, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> No, Les, I don't do this.... nor have I ever met a female that did this. Was this an old gf? Perhaps she was teasing you? attempting to turn you on? Bf/husbands are the only people that have ever seen me touch mine



Pssst....he used to date her

I was coming to this thread to say something..not this..now I cannot remember..shall return...carry on


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 17, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Pssst....he used to date her
> 
> I was coming to this thread to say something..not this..now I cannot remember..shall return...carry on




Hey hey hey! Dating and sexing her up COULD be two different things.....:doh: 

Why don't you just go find more geraniums to water? kthx


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 17, 2007)

marlowegarp said:


> Ladies: What is the correct response to this question?
> 
> "You thought she was hot? You think the ugliest women are attractive sometimes! I must be a beast!"
> 
> And I like John Thomas. Comments about size are not terminal (though you should know better by now) but calling it cute kills mood. Tit, however, are cute regardless of size. I have spoken.




lol- I'm not sure what lead into this convo but perhaps just say "I don't think about other women since I started dating you" 

*laughing to herself*


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## AnnMarie (Jul 17, 2007)

jack said:


> See, and this is what I don't get, because I can feel insecure, too. Obviousy we're dating then she is, as you said, the "hottest," to me. But that doesn't mean there aren't other good looking girls out there, and it doesn't mean if I notice a good looking girl that the other girl is "hotter" or whatever. I assume (hope) the girl I'm dating feels the same about other guys. I should be the "hottest" to her, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't be allowed to notice when a guy is cute.
> 
> Sure, sometimes it might make me feel a little insecure. But it's unreasonable to expect someone never to notice another attractive person, so I move on. And I feel like it should be the same for both sides.



Oh I totally agree with you, it makes NO sense, and should go both ways easily. Unfortunately, being worried creatures makes our lives difficult. 

I go to big girl parties with guys I'm dating, and I know there are bods/girls there that turn their head. That's ok... no biggie. I think it's nice to see who they think is hot and not, but overall, they're mine... going home with me, and that's ok. 

It's so rare I find another guy that attractive, I can't really imagine it coming up that often. I don't think TV/movie guys count, do they?? You tell me, guys.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 17, 2007)

Okay okay okay...........I have one for the guys.... but it's kind of dirttttttttyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy so I don't know if I should ask. :blush: :blush: 

*yes, it has to do with sex*


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## The Obstreperous Ms. J (Jul 17, 2007)

marlowegarp said:


> Ladies: What is the correct response to this question?
> 
> "You thought she was hot? You think the ugliest women are attractive sometimes! I must be a beast!"



That is called fishing for compliments, my dear marlowegarp. She is looking for validation.

Guys, why do you disappear? I mean, you were supposed to call us, and then we call you wondering if we were supposed to get together or not and we never hear back from you. What gives?


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## Waxwing (Jul 17, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Okay okay okay...........I have one for the guys.... but it's kind of dirttttttttyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy so I don't know if I should ask. :blush: :blush:
> 
> *yes, it has to do with sex*



(please ask!)


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 17, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> (please ask!)




Please define a "bad" blow job..... or perhaps tell what makes one good?


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## The Obstreperous Ms. J (Jul 17, 2007)

"You must spread some reputation before giving it to Green Eyed Fairy again"


Kudos to you for asking it. I can wait for the responses.


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## Waxwing (Jul 17, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Please define a "bad" blow job..... or perhaps tell what makes one good?



Excellent question, and I'm glad you asked it. It's one of those things that I sort of pride myself on (eew TMI, waxy) but I want to know if I'm right. 

Tell us, men!


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## AnnMarie (Jul 17, 2007)

I'll be interested because the answers I've had personally about what makes it good/bad vary sooooo widely from guy to guy, but one thing always in the "good" category is wanting to do it. 

However, I've mostly dated the "it's ok, but I don't really have to have it" guys for the past few years... odd group, they are. (And just to be clear, it's not based on ME, this is the answer before ever having that type of encounter.)


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## jack (Jul 17, 2007)

I'd say throwing up would make it an unsatisfactory blow job. But, some guys dig that, I think.

Anyway, I think AM hit the nail on the head. Girls often think that guys are just 100% sexual all the time. But the biggest boner-killer is if the guy _knows_ you're not into it. Wait, if you have to. If you're not into it, just say you don't want to do it. When you do want to do it, that's when it's good.






P.S. I would like to apologize for my tremendously anti-social behavior in this thread. Seriously. I'll stop hi-jacking threads now. Sorry.


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## activistfatgirl (Jul 17, 2007)

Oh, I really want to hear answers to this! My assumption up to this point is that there's no universal "right" way. Every man seems to want wildly different things done. I like hearing the different "that's the spot" responses.

ETA: I've dated men that feel that way, AM, and I've actually found that disappointing.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 17, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> I'll be interested because the answers I've had personally about what makes it good/bad vary sooooo widely from guy to guy, but one thing always in the "good" category is wanting to do it.
> 
> However, I've mostly dated the "it's ok, but I don't really have to have it" guys for the past few years... odd group, they are. (And just to be clear, it's not based on ME, this is the answer before ever having that type of encounter.)




I always asked my ex-husband the "best way" for over a decade- he said he was always just happy to get it :doh: 
I'm glad he appreciated it but would have felt better knowing I was pleasing him the way he wanted since I was going to the trouble......


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## AnnMarie (Jul 17, 2007)

activistfatgirl said:


> Oh, I really want to hear answers to this! My assumption up to this point is that there's no universal "right" way. Every man seems to want wildly different things done. I like hearing the different "that's the spot" responses.
> 
> ETA: I've dated men that feel that way, AM, and I've actually found that disappointing.



Yeah, it's a little like... "Oh. Are you SURE??" I mean, I'd rather have someone who doesn't want it than someone who demands it or something... but it would be nice to be able to do it once in a while as a fun "show off your talents" sort of exercise.


----------



## Kareda (Jul 17, 2007)

My husband is all for toys and states that he loves me to play with them, but I still sometimes wonder if perhaps he doesn't get "jealous" (to a small degree) that I can get off so easily with them compared to taking longer with just him.

So Men... Your true feelings about Adult Toys...


----------



## Waxwing (Jul 17, 2007)

jack said:


> If you're not into it, just say you don't want to do it. When you do want to do it, that's when it's good.



Honestly, I can't fathom not being into it. It's a fun, intimate thing, and a gigantic power trip if you're into that kinda nonsense. Like AM, I've been with men who don't like it and I find that really disappointing.

So I have an offshoot question from that-- do those men REALLY not like it or do they just think that you don't want to do it and are being nice? Wow that sentence hurts my head but you know what I'm getting at.


----------



## jack (Jul 17, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> So I have an offshoot question from that-- do those men REALLY not like it or do they just think that you don't want to do it and are being nice? Wow that sentence hurts my head but you know what I'm getting at.



I can only imagine that they don't and they're just trying to be nice.

But I think a guy can tell when a girl is into it, and when she's not. So, maybe I'm wrong about them. I don't know; I'm not one of them.


----------



## mossystate (Jul 17, 2007)

I knew a man who did not like ...it...except he loved being the giver. He was a well adjusted man...just that act really did not float his boat. Now, he liked some 'mouth play'...just not an A-Z approach to oral..again..on him.

I think people are made to feel odd, when sometimes it really is not about being odd or maladjusted. Now, if a man did not like going down on me?..I would respect it..but I could never not have that be part of my sexual experience...never....ever....EVER!..lol


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 17, 2007)

mossystate said:


> I knew a man who did not like ...it...except he loved being the giver. He was a well adjusted man...just that act really did not float his boat. Now, he liked some 'mouth play'...just not an A-Z approach to oral..again..on him.
> 
> I think people are made to feel odd, when sometimes it really is not about being odd or maladjusted. Now, if a man did not like going down on me?..I would respect it..but I could never not have that be part of my sexual experience...never....ever....EVER!..lol



There are men like that- they prefer to go down on you rather than you go down on them. There are women the same way, too, though. 

I want to say, though, that I don't mind going down and don't expect it back often. BUT if he flat out refused or indicated it was "disgusting", then he's definitely getting a lot less blow jobs. What I put in my mouth is no better than what he puts in his


----------



## love dubh (Jul 17, 2007)

Guys, it's okay to say 'no' when we ask you for sex. You can be just as uninterested in the act at any given time as we can be. Just state the fact, and don't feel pressured to give a 'why.' You don't need to validate why you don't want to fuck. 

And then it means so much more when you say 'yes.' 


What are your thoughts (guys and gals!) on tit fucking? Good times, odd times, variable times?


----------



## mossystate (Jul 17, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> There are men like that- they prefer to go down on you rather than you go down on them. There are women the same way, too, though.
> 
> I want to say, though, that I don't mind going down and don't expect it back often. BUT if he flat out refused or indicated it was "disgusting", then he's definitely getting a lot less blow jobs. What I put in my mouth is no better than what he puts in his



Yeah, I know there are women like that, but I can only mention so many things in one post.. 

Oh, yeah, the whole 'ew that's disgusting' thing, while they are placing a hand on the back of YOUR head..does not fly.*L*


----------



## AnnMarie (Jul 17, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> Honestly, I can't fathom not being into it. It's a fun, intimate thing, and a gigantic power trip if you're into that kinda nonsense. Like AM, I've been with men who don't like it and I find that really disappointing.
> 
> So I have an offshoot question from that-- do those men REALLY not like it or do they just think that you don't want to do it and are being nice? Wow that sentence hurts my head but you know what I'm getting at.



"Mine" really just don't like it. Or they LIKE it a LOOOottttttttt, but it's never going to get them off (too sensitive, guilty feelings, whatever - different with all of them) so they feel it's just a wasted effort and choose to forgo it entirely. 

I've had this conversation up and down with a bunch of exes (and again, usually never having DONE it to them myself... just what they've decided) and it's always something like ... yeah, it feels ok, but I like this better. Or it feels good, but I can't get off, so I'd rather do this. Etc. 

I won't go into the oral thing (for me) here because I've talked about it a thousand times and it's really just frustrating for me... lol.


----------



## AnnMarie (Jul 17, 2007)

love dubh said:


> Guys, it's okay to say 'no' when we ask you for sex. You can be just as uninterested in the act at any given time as we can be. Just state the fact, and don't feel pressured to give a 'why.' You don't need to validate why you don't want to fuck.
> 
> And then it means so much more when you say 'yes.'
> 
> ...



That first part should be over in the "women, what you want guys to know" thread.


----------



## Ample Pie (Jul 17, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> Why do ladies like talking about their exes?



As someone else mentioned, they're a part of our history. Some of them will continue to crop up in our minds and in the cycles of lessons we learn in life. Granted, some women are comparing you to their exes and I'm not sure that's fair, but some of us just lead examined lives--and our exes are a part of that.



Tina said:


> *Can we please get this thread back on track? [/mod]
> *
> 
> I know it's clean because I keep it clean. If I ever wonder, I'll make a trip to the ladies' room. I confess that I find that behavior a bit bizarre.



With you 100% of the way--even if I *DO* have doubts, I check them out privately.



jack said:


> (In a dating relationship)
> 
> Why can you talk about guys you think are hot to me, but get pissed if I mention that a girl is hot to you?



It is insecurity. For sure.



marlowegarp said:


> Ladies: What is the correct response to this question?
> 
> "You thought she was hot? You think the ugliest women are attractive sometimes! I must be a beast!"
> 
> And I like John Thomas. Comments about size are not terminal (though you should know better by now) but calling it cute kills mood. Tit, however, are cute regardless of size. I have spoken.



Firstly: women are really good at asking questions with answers that will get you hit no matter what road you take. But I always tell my guy friends that they should answer such questions thusly: I like what I like. If you're curious about how I feel about you, don't base it on my reactions to other people, because you are like no one else I've ever met.

Also--no calling penises cute? Okay, that's good to know. 



Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Please define a "bad" blow job..... or perhaps tell what makes one good?



HERE FUCKING HERE.

I've been saying this for years--there is just no way to know if you give good head. Guys will not give you a straight answer about it and it isn't something you can ask your girlfriends about.


----------



## Ample Pie (Jul 17, 2007)

activistfatgirl said:


> Oh, I really want to hear answers to this! My assumption up to this point is that there's no universal "right" way. Every man seems to want wildly different things done. I like hearing the different "that's the spot" responses.
> 
> ETA: I've dated men that feel that way, AM, and I've actually found that disappointing.



I get weirded out when a guy I'm dating does not like oral--for me, and me alone, I think I panic because I constantly (in all arenas of life) have to feel as though I'm serving some purpose. I know this is largely a female thing, because women have been multi-taskers for years and years--and to a greater degree than men (though men are doing it more and more now, too). Anyway, we're nurturers and caretakers--and even while these paradigms are shifting, we still sort of have that pull toward taking care of our loved ones/lovers, etc. So--when someone doesn't actively enjoy oral sex, I feel a bit more useless--which is all too unsexy for words.



Kareda said:


> My husband is all for toys and states that he loves me to play with them, but I still sometimes wonder if perhaps he doesn't get "jealous" (to a small degree) that I can get off so easily with them compared to taking longer with just him.
> 
> So Men... Your true feelings about Adult Toys...



Obviously I'm not a man, but I can say this--on my own, if all I'm going for is the big O, I can do it in under 60 seconds. With someone else, it always takes longer and so I am curious what guys think of that--is it annoying, maddening, nothing?



love dubh said:


> What are your thoughts (guys and gals!) on tit fucking? Good times, odd times, variable times?



I hardly have tits, but I dated a guy who was very into tit-fucking and he made it work...I quite enjoyed it. The position makes for some excellent views.


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## Spanky (Jul 17, 2007)

For the ladies. 

More and more men in the US are not getting circumcised. For the record, I am and made the decision to have my boys get the circ also. 

If and when you peel the pants off, does the natural look or circumsized look change your feelings (even a little). Preferences if you had the choice?? Does one or the other surprise you??


----------



## Ample Pie (Jul 17, 2007)

Because I am more accustomed to the circumcised look, uncircumcised penises have been known to surprise me, but it isn't because I find one to be more pleasing than the other. I don't have a preference, though I do maybe adjust my handling of said penises (mental and physical handling) depending upon whether they are circumcised or un-.



Spanky said:


> For the ladies.
> 
> More and more men in the US are not getting circumcised. For the record, I am and made the decision to have my boys get the circ also.
> 
> If and when you peel the pants off, does the natural look or circumsized look change your feelings (even a little). Preferences if you had the choice?? Does one or the other surprise you??


----------



## AnnMarie (Jul 17, 2007)

> If and when you peel the pants off, does the natural look or circumsized look change your feelings (even a little). Preferences if you had the choice?? Does one or the other surprise you??



I've been an international dater, so I have no reaction to either/or. Frankly... un is nice... in my experience, they've been more sensitive and responsive to more playful/interesting touches. 

But I really don't care either way, and don't find one visually more appealing than another, etc.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 17, 2007)

Spanky said:


> For the ladies.
> 
> More and more men in the US are not getting circumcised. For the record, I am and made the decision to have my boys get the circ also.
> 
> If and when you peel the pants off, does the natural look or circumsized look change your feelings (even a little). Preferences if you had the choice?? Does one or the other surprise you??



My first husband was circumsized....there was a noticeable scar that bothered me. Not because it look disfigured but more because of my inexperience looking at penises at the time and it always made me wonder what in hell was wrong with the person that circumsized him. That MUST have hurt :blink: 

My second husband - the guy I was married to for 14 years- was not circumsized. His actually looked more "natural" to me i.e. no scar. Will I say the sex was better? Yes indeedy- but I think that was more to do with the relationship. However, the bf after my husband was cut. I never enjoyed sex with him as much. Foreskin? Size? Mentality? Don't know but let's just leave it at I don't mind an uncircumsized guy- ain't a damn thing wrong with it.

*for some reason, I feel the need to "defend" the uncircumsized guys..... things I have heard said, I suppose *shrugs*


**thinking back, when I first saw the ex-bf's penis, I thought circumsized but had to ask to make sure.... he had no scar. It's hard for me to really tell the difference, to be honest. It really isn't THAT important in the grand scheme of things.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 17, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> Why do ladies like talking about their exes?



I'm reminded of my exes when with another man because everything I know about male sexuality I learned from my exes. They are my "point of reference". That being said, I would say that it's totally uncool to bring up exes all the time- especially in bed. I had an ex one time feel compelled to tell me how much he loved his ex-wife still... he did this immediately after having sex with me, sitting on my bed, while both of us were still undressed. He deserved a good bitch slap for that one, imo.


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## MisticalMisty (Jul 17, 2007)

Spanky said:


> For the ladies.
> 
> More and more men in the US are not getting circumcised. For the record, I am and made the decision to have my boys get the circ also.
> 
> If and when you peel the pants off, does the natural look or circumsized look change your feelings (even a little). Preferences if you had the choice?? Does one or the other surprise you??



I know I'm going to sound like such a bitch..but I can't handle an uncut penis if the guy has a lot of pre-cum.

Story time:

I was dating this guy..and we were about to have some sex. Those of you who know me..know that my favorite thing to do is to give head. That's where my little saying came from...about "This fat girl making an Aethiest say God." no offense..

Anyway, we had been building up to that point and he went to show me how to roll back the foreskin and when he did a huge glob of precum came out. ACK. I have a really weak stomach and that folks did me in...I seriously couldn't continue with anything more...I felt so bad about it..but I just couldn't think about doing it to him without gagging. *sigh*

So, I am biased..but if it really came down to this being the right guy..I would just ask him to help by taking care of the precum so I couldn't see..lol


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 17, 2007)

MisticalMisty said:


> I know I'm going to sound like such a bitch..but I can't handle an uncut penis if the guy has a lot of pre-cum.
> 
> Story time:
> 
> ...




That sounds so absolutely effing nasty...... but then again, I never see/notice the pre-cum others mention from time to time. :doh: 

Perhaps, I'm just lucky


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jul 17, 2007)

Spanky said:


> For the ladies.
> 
> More and more men in the US are not getting circumcised. For the record, I am and made the decision to have my boys get the circ also.
> 
> If and when you peel the pants off, does the natural look or circumsized look change your feelings (even a little). Preferences if you had the choice?? Does one or the other surprise you??



I really do not like circumcised penises. I think it's just unnecessary surgery. (My mama is German. Big surprise.  ) I'm like a PETA person for penises I guess. Nutty, but well-intentioned.


----------



## Ample Pie (Jul 17, 2007)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> I really do not like circumcised penises. I think it's just unnecessary surgery. (My mama is German. Big surprise.  ) I'm like a PETA person for penises I guess. Nutty, but well-intentioned.


Yeah but you can't take it out on the penis or, generally, the guys who own the penises---these things tend to happen before the guys have ultimate control over their junk.


----------



## TheSadeianLinguist (Jul 17, 2007)

Rebecca said:


> Yeah but you can't take it out on the penis or, generally, the guys who own the penises---these things tend to happen before the guys have ultimate control over their junk.



True. It's akin to being with someone who grew up raised in such a vastly different culture though. 

Avoiding buzzwords like "MUTILATION!!!," I just think the idea of cutting off part of someone's body out of tradition, and being cool with it, is unnerving.


----------



## BeaBea (Jul 17, 2007)

Being an English girlie I'm far more used to un-circumcised than circumcised but either is good. It's always a voyage of discover each time you get to see what you're dealing with  Anyone who thinks un-cut = unclean is dating the wrong man. Theres absolutely NO reason for it to be anything other than spotlessly clean. I manage to keep Miss Puss* scrupulously pristine and I cant see her so the gentleman I date have NO excuse! 

Regarding head - I love to give it but I've dated men who really aren't that fussed about it. I got used to it being missing from our repertoire but I'd be sad if I never ever got to do it ever again. Regarding receiving though, errr, well if he enjoys it then I'm quite happy to let him, or sit on his face, or whatever but it really doesn't do much for me. I don't think I can be the only one so why don't men believe me? I've heard variations on 'Well your previous men just haven't been doing it right' so many times but it doesn't make a lot of difference to my enjoyment I'm afraid. 

So, my question is, I'm a sexually confident woman so when I say 'It doesn't do much for me' why do some men seem to think I have body issues, hang-ups or am critiquing their technique? How can I deliver the message in a way that wont make them dive between my thighs like an orgasm seeking missile for the next four hours? 

Tracey xx 

* Thank you Les, I LOVE that expression! I may re-christen her in your honour!


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jul 17, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Please define a "bad" blow job..... or perhaps tell what makes one good?



I might be late to this but - NO TEETH.


----------



## MisticalMisty (Jul 17, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I might be late to this but - NO TEETH.



THAT depends on the guy..lol..I've been guys who enjoyed a little bit of teeth action 

I think the key to a great blow job is enjoying yourself. I know the guys I have been with love seeing me enjoying myself..and knowing that it's not something I feel like I have to do..but something I definitely want to do and initiate..LOL

For me, the biggest turn on is watching a guy watch me. I do my best to keep eye contact with him..


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Jul 17, 2007)

I gotta ask - if you are that into giving oral - pre-cum should be no big deal. They all have it. I'm just a bit confused. I love oral, pre-cum is part of the package.




MisticalMisty said:


> I know I'm going to sound like such a bitch..but I can't handle an uncut penis if the guy has a lot of pre-cum.
> 
> Story time:
> 
> ...


----------



## Ample Pie (Jul 17, 2007)

Tracey:

I'm sooo with you. Receiving oral just isn't one of my favorite parts of sex. I've told guys that before and they either don't believe me or tell me my last boyfriends were doing it wrong or think it's because I have some hang up. Not the case, it just doesn't do a whole lot for me. Bah.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Jul 17, 2007)

I have never heard a guy say he likes teeth in a BJ. But that's just me. 




MisticalMisty said:


> THAT depends on the guy..lol..I've been guys who enjoyed a little bit of teeth action
> 
> I think the key to a great blow job is enjoying yourself. I know the guys I have been with love seeing me enjoying myself..and knowing that it's not something I feel like I have to do..but something I definitely want to do and initiate..LOL
> 
> For me, the biggest turn on is watching a guy watch me. I do my best to keep eye contact with him..


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Jul 17, 2007)

REALLY???? REALLY?????? That's the best part for me. I can have multiple orgasms with oral but not with penetration. 




Rebecca said:


> Tracey:
> 
> I'm sooo with you. Receiving oral just isn't one of my favorite parts of sex. I've told guys that before and they either don't believe me or tell me my last boyfriends were doing it wrong or think it's because I have some hang up. Not the case, it just doesn't do a whole lot for me. Bah.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 17, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> REALLY???? REALLY?????? That's the best part for me. I can have multiple orgasms with oral but not with penetration.



Oh jeez, now we are about to open another can of worms.....


I'm not really "multi-orgasmic". On the few occasions that I can have a second one, it takes a while. Any others like me? or am I doing something wrong?

and someone please tell me about the g-spot? I think I have had those but once again, a very rare occasion. It's usually the clit action I need. Ladies?


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Jul 17, 2007)

For me multiple-orgasms have always been possible - but - they became much more intense and much more frequent after I turned 40. 

I'm not going to go into detail but there is something a man can do to me that will bring me to orgasm without ever touching my genitals. I've already said too much so that's all I'm sayin.




Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Oh jeez, now we are about to open another can of worms.....
> 
> 
> I'm not really "multi-orgasmic". On the few occasions that I can have a second one, it takes a while. Any others like me? or am I doing something wrong?
> ...


----------



## Wagimawr (Jul 17, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Please define a "bad" blow job..... or perhaps tell what makes one good?


I'll tell you as soon as they no longer tickle me. >_<


----------



## Kareda (Jul 17, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> REALLY???? REALLY?????? That's the best part for me. I can have multiple orgasms with oral but not with penetration.




Same here, penetration O's are few & far between but clitoral- hell yes! (TMI but the only way I can ejaculate, too) 

As for pre-cum. Im one that doesn't care for it, for me it tastes different then the actual cum later- But its not much and not a big deal, just keep going and enjoy the good stuff shortly thereafter, lol.

As for the Question as to whether there is a preference between uncirc/circ I have only seen IRL circ so I cannot comment on a preference. I will say though I had no pre-conceived ideas of uncirc and certainly have never thought they are not clean. Who comes up with that stuff???


----------



## Waxwing (Jul 17, 2007)

Spanky said:


> If and when you peel the pants off, does the natural look or circumsized look change your feelings (even a little). Preferences if you had the choice?? Does one or the other surprise you??


 
So part of me wishes that I didn't have a preference in this, because I feel that it's in some sense none of my business. 

But. 

The majority of my sexual experiences have been with circumcised men. Because of this..well conditioning I guess, I am more attracted to and comfortable with, a cut man. I know what to do with it. Aesthetically I love it. If there's suddenly a new part!? What the hell? I don't now what to do with that! 

But, okay, I learned what to do with that and still I find myself more comfortable with the old circumcised standard. 

There's an instinctual reaction when your would-be lover drops trou and has an unexpected Tab A to go in your Slot B. My first reaction is always, "what are we in Europe?"


----------



## bigvegan (Jul 17, 2007)

Whatever you prefer is fine, but leave your kid's genitalia alone. 

I mean what kind of welcome into the world is that?

Hi, welcome to Earth young man, don't mind us, we're just going to take a razor to your johnson.

Fuck that. Leave your kid's bits alone.


----------



## BeaBea (Jul 17, 2007)

bigvegan said:


> Whatever you prefer is fine, but leave your kid's genitalia alone.
> I mean what kind of welcome into the world is that?
> Hi, welcome to Earth young man, don't mind us, we're just going to take a razor to your johnson.
> Fuck that. Leave your kid's bits alone.



Compared to what some parents do to their kids heads I dont see it as too big an issue. 

Seriously though, this operation does have cultural and religious significance so your tone concerns me somewhat. I'm not jewish, I dont have kids and I'm not saying its right or wrong or anything else - but please show some tolerance.

Tracey


----------



## AnnMarie (Jul 17, 2007)

bigvegan said:


> Whatever you prefer is fine, but leave your kid's genitalia alone.
> 
> I mean what kind of welcome into the world is that?
> 
> ...



Please don't continue this conversation here... the thread shouldn't be derailed with a pro/con circumcision discussion. 

If you want/need to have that, please start a Hyde Park thread, because I promise you it will be heated and full of disparate opinions. 

/mod


----------



## Waxwing (Jul 17, 2007)

I admit that I'm concerned that my somewhat amusing "tab A slot B" joke is being overlooked. I trust that this is not the case.


----------



## AnnMarie (Jul 17, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> I admit that I'm concerned that my somewhat amusing "tab A slot B" joke is being overlooked. I trust that this is not the case.



I laughed but then just started thinking about your slot B and I've been distracted since then.


----------



## Mini (Jul 17, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> I admit that I'm concerned that my somewhat amusing "tab A slot B" joke is being overlooked. I trust that this is not the case.



Family Guy ruined it for you.


----------



## MisticalMisty (Jul 17, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I gotta ask - if you are that into giving oral - pre-cum should be no big deal. They all have it. I'm just a bit confused. I love oral, pre-cum is part of the package.


There's a difference when a cock is just leaking precum and when skin is rolled back and like 5 tablespoons spill out at one time....it just grossed me out..lol


----------



## mossystate (Jul 17, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Oh jeez, now we are about to open another can of worms.....
> 
> 
> I'm not really "multi-orgasmic". On the few occasions that I can have a second one, it takes a while. Any others like me? or am I doing something wrong?
> ...



I am also not 'multi orgasmic' and I sometimes feel that I am abnormal..not because I think most women ARE, but there is so much stress when so many men are so into ...numbers..oy ( and it is said that many men can be and are multi- orgasmic..that would be interesting to witness ). I am open to the idea of it..it is kind of a nice thought..heh...but a single big one sure is delicious..too I can continue having 'reactions' after The Big One, but they are not orgasms.

Funny thing about the G-spot..'they' are now saying that not all women have them..damn...just more stuff to feel insecure about. I find it feels good exploring that region, but I think I need to experiment a bit more.


when I am in chat, some people say they should not go in there when hungry, since food is sometimes the topic of conversation......this thread is making me a lil sad..and.......hungry


----------



## Kareda (Jul 17, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Funny thing about the G-spot..'they' are now saying that not all women have them..damn...just more stuff to feel insecure about. I find it feels good exploring that region, but I think I need to experiment a bit more.



Just a hint if you have not already done so- Buy a G Spot vibe (Adameve has a G-gasm delight that is wicked cheap but oh so good!) and position it towards your tummy after it enters about 4 inches. 

Happy Exploring


----------



## Ash (Jul 17, 2007)

mossystate said:


> I find it feels good exploring that region, but I think I need to experiment a bit more...
> 
> when I am in chat.



Fixed!



morecharacters


----------



## Butterbelly (Jul 17, 2007)

MisticalMisty said:


> THAT depends on the guy..lol..I've been guys who enjoyed a little bit of teeth action
> 
> I think the key to a great blow job is enjoying yourself. I know the guys I have been with love seeing me enjoying myself..and knowing that it's not something I feel like I have to do..but something I definitely want to do and initiate..LOL
> 
> *For me, the biggest turn on is watching a guy watch me. I do my best to keep eye contact with him..*



I love that too...it's the biggest turn on for me, as well.


----------



## Violet_Beauregard (Jul 17, 2007)

First off... this thread is cracking me up! I LOVE reading everyone's thoughts.

Ummm... let's see.... prefer circumsized... just like it clean and neat.

Love giving a blow job... like Waxy, I pride myself on doing it well. Like Misty, I really enjoy it. I was with a guy for a long time and that was his preference above intercourse. So, I got really good at it. He also preferred to go down on me, BUT, it did/does absolutely NOTHING for me. SO, I spent a lot of time quite unsatisfied... to say the least. Still love giving a good BJ, but the last few guys I have been with enjoy it, but it's not everything to them like the other guy. I've been lucky enough to have a couple who really enjoy intercourse, so that's been great! (BTW, ditto on the guy watching me... and eye contact) 

I can be multi-orgasmic if I'm using a vib, but not manually....and orgasms are non-existent when receiving oral. 


OK, my question is NON sex related..... Guys (and girls too, I guess)... at what point in a relationship, would you consider this person your exclusive significant other? At what point would you say to your friends... "My girlfriend and I are doing such-and-such this weekend..." or "My boyfriend and I are doing this-or-that tonight..." When do you consider yourselves officially a "couple"??? A week, 2 weeks... a month?? When?


----------



## Waxwing (Jul 17, 2007)

Violet_Beauregard said:


> He also preferred to go down on me, BUT, it did/does absolutely NOTHING for me. SO, I spent a lot of time quite unsatisfied... to say the least.


 
Me too! I don't like it At All, and that's always been an issue. Guys think that I'm lying and/or "never had it done right" but I just do not dig. I'm a performer not an audience member.  



> OK, my question is NON sex related..... Guys (and girls too, I guess)... at what point in a relationship, would you consider this person your exclusive significant other? At what point would you say to your friends... "My girlfriend and I are doing such-and-such this weekend..." or "My boyfriend and I are doing this-or-that tonight..." When do you consider yourselves officially a "couple"??? A week, 2 weeks... a month?? When?


 
This is a great and tough question. For me it's more frequency than time. If I see someone once a month for 3 months, well, that could just be someone I'm dating casually. But if I wake up with you, and we get some breakfast, and two days later see a movie, and next Saturday we go to a BBQ...if I'm seeing you often I might feel more attached. But I always have The Converstaion before I use the word Boyfriend or Girlfriend and before I assume exclusivity. 

I'm pragmatic about those things because I'm in essence a terrible romantic. I will fall in love with you at the drop of a hat, but I'll make sure it's okay before I say so.


----------



## AnnMarie (Jul 17, 2007)

Violet_Beauregard said:


> OK, my question is NON sex related..... Guys (and girls too, I guess)... at what point in a relationship, would you consider this person your exclusive significant other? At what point would you say to your friends... "My girlfriend and I are doing such-and-such this weekend..." or "My boyfriend and I are doing this-or-that tonight..." When do you consider yourselves officially a "couple"??? A week, 2 weeks... a month?? When?



There's no time period for me... it's just when you're both in "that place". You usually have a Conversation that lets you both know you're there, you don't want to see others, etc. I've dated people and become exclusive after a week, and I've dated others for 3 years and never become exclusive. It really depends on where you both are and what you're looking for. 

If it was after a certain period of time, I doubt most people would ever go past date xx or week xx... seems like a LOT of pressure.


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## Violet_Beauregard (Jul 17, 2007)

Oh yeah... I've gotten the "you never had someone do it right" thing too... yawn. I agree...I'm a performer too. 

I agree on the frequency thing. VERY long story short, the majority (and I say 90%) of my relationships have been with married guys (sad, but true) so I didn't have the luxury of The Conversation. I met a guy online recently and never met in person, but I was ready for The Conversation, and I think he was too. What happened after that... another LONG story. 

I'm a romantic too... I'll fall in love in a heartbeat, but won't say the dreaded "boyfriend" word, without getting the okay. 






Waxwing said:


> Me too! I don't like it At All, and that's always been an issue. Guys think that I'm lying and/or "never had it done right" but I just do not dig. I'm a performer not an audience member.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## Violet_Beauregard (Jul 17, 2007)

I agree about knowing you're in "that place". Every situation is different. Definitely. 

(I love how it's referred to as "The Conversation".... but it's accurate! LOL)





AnnMarie said:


> There's no time period for me... it's just when you're both in "that place". You usually have a Conversation that lets you both know you're there, you don't want to see others, etc. I've dated people and become exclusive after a week, and I've dated others for 3 years and never become exclusive. It really depends on where you both are and what you're looking for.
> 
> If it was after a certain period of time, I doubt most people would ever go past date xx or week xx... seems like a LOT of pressure.


----------



## mossystate (Jul 17, 2007)

Kareda said:


> Just a hint if you have not already done so- Buy a G Spot vibe (Adameve has a G-gasm delight that is wicked cheap but oh so good!) and position it towards your tummy after it enters about 4 inches.
> 
> Happy Exploring



*L*...thanks....yeah...I have seen the toys made for this and I do know the area, as I have gone up there on my own.......this thread IS a hoot.....I was just about to say that I would report back here after I bought the toy....


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## mossystate (Jul 17, 2007)

Ashley said:


> Fixed!
> 
> 
> 
> morecharacters



I have to say that this has me confused...ummm....wha?....lol


----------



## Ivy (Jul 17, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I have never heard a guy say he likes teeth in a BJ. But that's just me.



i once had an ex who liked me to BITE his dick during oral. so, they do exist.


----------



## Fuzzy (Jul 18, 2007)

Sex can be a wholly wonderful intimate experience... and other times it can be a really funny game of twister.. but NO TV. The Radio is okay ifs its some form of rock or jazz.. but not country. 

And no mirrors. And shoo the dog out too.


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## mossystate (Jul 18, 2007)

Fuzzy said:


> And no mirrors.



Not even a handmirror? I like to make sure my facial expressions match those of women in porn.


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## MisticalMisty (Jul 18, 2007)

Fuzzy said:


> Sex can be a wholly wonderful intimate experience... and other times it can be a really funny game of twister.. but NO TV. The Radio is okay ifs its some form of rock or jazz.. but not country.
> 
> And no mirrors. And shoo the dog out too.



I agree with the tv..and the dog..Oh and take the damn socks off.


But, why..oh why no mirror? I love watching my rolls and fat jiggle as...well you know..

THAT'S HOT FUZZY..lol


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jul 18, 2007)

Fuzzy said:


> And no mirrors.



Oh I agree. I was with this guy once - he had a mirror across the room from the bed. I happened to be in a position where I could see us. I busted out laughing - and could not stop because we looked so stupid to me.

He was not immused. I laughed for quite a while (you know the I can't catch my breath BIG laugh) which killed the mood.


----------



## Kareda (Jul 18, 2007)

I like mirrors...in fact DH and I love to go at it facing the front of our bathroom vanity.  

Im telling you get me talking anything sex I don't shut up...one way to get me out of lurkdom, lmao.


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## Fuzzy (Jul 18, 2007)

MisticalMisty said:


> I agree with the tv..and the dog..Oh and take the damn socks off.
> 
> 
> But, why..oh why no mirror? I love watching my rolls and fat jiggle as...well you know..
> ...



I have no problem with seeing the hot fat babe I'm with in the mirror(s)... but I don't want to see *me*. (/non-self-acceptance)


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## Ample Pie (Jul 18, 2007)

That's a rule in my house--in bed there are no socks if you want to get any action at all.

As for pre-cum, I'm a fan--but then I'm a fan of wet and/or messy petting and/or sex, so long as food isn't involved. Food sex is not my thing.


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## Ample Pie (Jul 18, 2007)

No tv either, totally. No stopping to answer the phone if you want to continue. No socks. No pets hanging around. No small children. Flash photography is fine, though.


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## Blackjack (Jul 18, 2007)

Rebecca said:


> No tv either, totally. No stopping to answer the phone if you want to continue. No socks. No pets hanging around. No small children. Flash photography is fine, though.



What about video cameras?


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## Ample Pie (Jul 18, 2007)

Blackjack said:


> What about video cameras?



If you get express written permission from all people involved.

Honestly, if I'm with someone I care about (and I include myself in that--I have a lot of good fun with just me), then I don't mind the idea of a video camera. On rare occasions. I say rare because I don't like the idea of technical difficulties or 'needing to adjust some knob other than his knob' getting in the way of something that is meant to be quite intimate and quite fun all on its own.


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## elle camino (Jul 18, 2007)

...that whole "guys are intimidated by attractive, confident, intelligent women" thing is all BS, right?


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## Ample Pie (Jul 18, 2007)

elle camino said:


> ...that whole "guys are intimidated by attractive, confident, intelligent women" thing is all BS, right?



I have a tangent, but I'll hold off until there are some answers for this question (which I think is a good one).


----------



## Fuzzy (Jul 18, 2007)

elle camino said:


> ...that whole "guys are intimidated by attractive, confident, intelligent women" thing is all BS, right?



No, AnnMarie doesn't intimidate me at all.


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## AnnMarie (Jul 18, 2007)

Fuzzy said:


> No, AnnMarie doesn't intimidate me at all.



Okay, that just made me bust out laughing. LOL

Trust me, I'm scary as hell.


----------



## malvineous (Jul 18, 2007)

Heres my addition to this awesome conversation. My apologies if any of this is offensive.

1. What makes for a good blowjob?
So far we havent gotten any answers on technique, and I know you ladies were just dying to know . Actually, unlike cunnilingus, there is a wrong way to do it. The most important thing to keep in mind when performing is RHYTHM. There are many varied techniques and speeds with which you can go to work, but that doesnt mean you should switch between them constantly. At the beginning, pick a position and speed and stick with it throughout. There are a couple of exceptions, for instance steadily going from slow to fast is very good. Some variation in technique can be great as well, but when you switch, only do so for a few seconds before switching back. It ends up being a buzz kill when you get into a rhythm only to have it change suddenly. How satisfying would intercourse be if your special guy stopped you every 30 seconds to change position? Youd probably punch him.

2. Are guys intimidated by attractive, confident, and intelligent women?
This is a bullshit myth that started with the women, not the men. This is very similar with the all too present retort to any negative criticism Well, youre just JEALOUS!!1~. The reality is that all guys are intimidated by slutty, bitchy, and arrogant women. Believe me, there is nothing sexier to a man than confidence and intelligence (big tits aside). The women who have a problem are the bitchy ones who are full of themselves. Of course this is hard for them to bear, hence the excuse that Theyre just intimidated by how awesome I am!

3. Take the socks OFF!!
Socks have been getting some flames on this thread as well as the world over, and I never understood why. Part of me is pissed off about the whole thing since it seems so insignificant and childish, but I do want to know the reason. So women, why all the sock hate?


----------



## Ample Pie (Jul 18, 2007)

malvineous said:


> 3. “Take the socks OFF!!”
> Socks have been getting some flames on this thread as well as the world over, and I never understood why. Part of me is pissed off about the whole thing since it seems so insignificant and childish, but I do want to know the reason. So women, why all the sock hate?



Number one, it's no more childish than liking the big tits; it's just a preference.

Number two, it's more intimate. Unless we're doing a quick and dirty somewhere other than my bed, I don't want the fellow to have ANY clothes on--socks included. I'm worth the time it takes to take off your damned clothes.

Number three, socks are way more ooky to me than feet.

Number four, I want to tangle toes as well as naughty bits.

Number five, the best lovers I've ever had know how to use their feet (massaging my legs for instance) while we're making out. This is hot, hot, hot.

No socks.


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## elle camino (Jul 18, 2007)

malvineous said:


> 2. Are guys intimidated by attractive, confident, and intelligent women?
> This is a bullshit myth that started with the women, not the men. This is very similar with the all too present retort to any negative criticism Well, youre just JEALOUS!!1~. The reality is that all guys are intimidated by slutty, bitchy, and arrogant women. Believe me, there is nothing sexier to a man than confidence and intelligence (big tits aside). The women who have a problem are the bitchy ones who are full of themselves. Of course this is hard for them to bear, hence the excuse that Theyre just intimidated by how awesome I am!


...mkay.


also:


malvineous said:


> Actually, unlike cunnilingus, there is a wrong way to do it.


you could not possibly be more wrong, here.


----------



## mossystate (Jul 18, 2007)

malvineous said:


> Heres my addition to this awesome conversation. My apologies if any of this is offensive.
> 
> Actually, unlike cunnilingus, there is a wrong way to do it.



This is a very clueless and arrogant statement.


----------



## Ample Pie (Jul 18, 2007)

They're right, you know.



elle camino said:


> you could not possibly be more wrong, here.





mossystate said:


> This is a very clueless and arrogant statement.


----------



## Wagimawr (Jul 18, 2007)

I'm with the ladies on this one.

Now, the last time I checked, I had no vagina.

However.

Any sensitive area (private parts in particular) can potentially be "rubbed the wrong way", if you will. I happen to have an overly sensitive penal system (beat THAT, waxwing!), and so yeah. Ticklish.

I would suspect there's just as many ways to fuck up (lulz c whut I did thar) a blowjob, as there are ways to horribly mangle the act of eating out.


----------



## malvineous (Jul 18, 2007)

I guess you guys are right about there being wrong ways, as it is with everything. My experience has just been that the stroke direction/speed/depth/area of concentration does not matter as much, and variety is prized more than rhythm. I guess my assertion stems from having explored as many different ways to do it as I could, and not getting a negative response.


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## Keb (Jul 18, 2007)

I don't have a problem with socks...though I guess I don't have much experience with them in bed!


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## mossystate (Jul 18, 2007)

malvineous said:


> I guess you guys are right about there being wrong ways, as it is with everything. My experience has just been that the stroke direction/speed/depth/area of concentration does not matter as much, and variety is prized more than rhythm. I guess my assertion stems from having explored as many different ways to do it as I could, and not getting a negative response.



Ok, now, I did check your profile for your age. While age has little to do with some things in this world, this is an area where 'maturity' can mean a lot. If you are having these sexual encounters with females your age, you might be running into a wall of shyness, if not outright silence. It is not an always an easy thing to navigate and negotiate..and let a person KNOW what you like...and you continue with this last post to tell me that you have no idea. I cannot think of one woman, in my 45 years on this planet, who has said that the direction, speed..etc..does not matter...not one. I do know there are women who 'go along' with whatever is being done, because of not wanting to 'hurt feelings'..or being too timid to speak up.


----------



## malvineous (Jul 18, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Ok, now, I did check your profile for your age. While age has little to do with some things in this world, this is an area where 'maturity' can mean a lot. If you are having these sexual encounters with females your age, you might be running into a wall of shyness, if not outright silence. It is not an always an easy thing to navigate and negotiate..and let a person KNOW what you like...and you continue with this last post to tell me that you have no idea. I cannot think of one woman, in my 45 years on this planet, who has said that the direction, speed..etc..does not matter...not one. I do know there are women who 'go along' with whatever is being done, because of not wanting to 'hurt feelings'..or being too timid to speak up.



Haha, I'm 20 years old, cut me a little slack here! You make it sound as if I were 14.  I never said I was a sexual wizard, nor did I say anything with the intent of being offensive. I simply stated my opinion straightforward and honestly, and I'd expect each of you to do the same.


----------



## elle camino (Jul 18, 2007)

malvineous said:


> I simply stated my opinion straightforward and honestly, and I'd expect each of you to do the same.


we get that, and (speaking for myself, here), it's appreciated. 
however.
you've gotta know that you're just wrong. about that. 
and i'm sure the ladies you get with along your little journey through life are going to appreciate us for setting you straight at a young age, about this. 
what wag had to say was dead on. go reread it. 
remember you're dealing with someone's junk, and being the owner and operator of your very own junk, you already know that certain methods of contact (teeth? flame? a swift kick?) do NOT feel nice at all. so traipsing around thinking there's no wrong way to go down on a girl...kind of a recipe for inevitable disaster.


----------



## malvineous (Jul 18, 2007)

I do see your points, as I acknowledged in my above post. I know it's a highly individual thing, however I still stand by the fact that I was speaking in general and from past experience. Though I guess I should have added a disclaimer in fine print at the bottom.

The act of "exploring different ways" does not imply the use of excessive force, nor methods designed to inflict pain. Terms such as unenthusiastic or sloppy not included. See participating locations. Some restrictions apply. Side-effects may include dizziness, fatigue, and numbness. Cunnilingus is not for everyone. Consult your doctor to learn if cunnilingus is right for you. Many will enter, few will win. (Sorry, had to get that last one in)


----------



## elle camino (Jul 18, 2007)

ok but _in general_, it's not an 'anything goes' type of situation. some things go and some things really really do not. 
it's pretty important you know that.


p.s. when you say you're speaking from past experience, are you saying you've actually had a woman tell you that there's no way to get that wrong? because if so, the only possible explanation i can think of for that would be someone deliberately trying to screw up your future sex life. seriously. yikes.


----------



## malvineous (Jul 18, 2007)

elle camino said:


> ok but _in general_, it's not an 'anything goes' type of situation. some things go and some things really really do not.
> it's pretty important you know that.



Bah, we're going in circles. I give up.


----------



## elle camino (Jul 18, 2007)

dude! you made a pretty unequivocal statement (there is no wrong way to go down on a girl), and the vagina owners in attendance responded with an overwhelming 'uh...not so much'. to which you responded 'haha ok, but that's just my opinion and in general has been my experience'. to which we responded 'noted, but still...not a wise generalization to make, seeing as it's pretty universally incorrect.'
nobody's trying to break balls here, we're just saying. 
check the title of the thread. opportunity for us all to learn something.


----------



## Shosh (Jul 18, 2007)

bigvegan said:


> Whatever you prefer is fine, but leave your kid's genitalia alone.
> 
> I mean what kind of welcome into the world is that?
> 
> ...


You may think that, but the ritual of the Brit Millah is of vital signifigance for Jews. I understand that it can be hard for non Jews to understand why it is of such signifigance. Susannah


----------



## Waxwing (Jul 18, 2007)

Rebecca said:


> I'm sooo with you. Receiving oral just isn't one of my favorite parts of sex. I've told guys that before and they either don't believe me or tell me my last boyfriends were doing it wrong or think it's because I have some hang up. Not the case, it just doesn't do a whole lot for me. Bah.



Moi aussi! I actually don't just kind of dislike it. I hate it. No hang up, lots of tries, just hate it.


----------



## Waxwing (Jul 18, 2007)

malvineous said:


> Bah, we're going in circles. I give up.


 
No circles. You said there was no wrong way, and you're incorrect. Even as someone who dislikes it I know that there are some things which are worse than others. It's the difference between "kind of ok" and "holy shit get your head away from my vag." I don't argue with your statement that you haven't had complaints, but many women won't complain. It's not all people have the guts to say MAN that sucked. They just tell their friends later. A good rule of thumb (or tongue or index finger or whatever) is to ask if what you're doing is right. Because every woman is going to feel things differently. 

The socks thing? Eh, preference. I actually don't mind socks because I think feet are gross. But most people think that it just looks dorky. Wearing socks during sex makes you look like a teenager who's all nervous about his first time and golly gee forgot to remove his gym socks! I find socks soft and pleasant but can see why most people wouldn't want them included in ye olde love making.


----------



## Ample Pie (Jul 18, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> Moi aussi! I actually don't just kind of dislike it. I hate it. No hang up, lots of tries, just hate it.



Maybe it's the socks.


----------



## wistful (Jul 18, 2007)

This thread has been most *ahem* informative.I'm really suprised how many women here aren't into receiving oral.I personally love it.I truly enjoy giving it as well but I would totally resent doing so if the person showed zero interest in returning the favor.See for me it isn't just about the actual act.Yes performing oral on me is an almost guaranteed way to insure I'll have an orgasm but it goes beyond that.There is something quite intoxicating about watching someone you are wildly sexually attracted to go down on you with utter abandon.Knowing that someone must have you in that way right there and right then?? One of the hottest things on the planet to me.Seriously.


Oh and I also have to agree that socks left on during the act are silly as well..yet there is something strangely hot to me about a watch left on.I have no clue why this is but there you are.


----------



## BeaBea (Jul 18, 2007)

wistful said:


> Knowing that someone must have you in that way right there and right then?? One of the hottest things on the planet to me.Seriously.



For me that only kicks in when they want to put their most favourite bit of their anatomy into my most favourite bit of mine... Anything else just feels like the trailers when you're dying for the film to start 

As for socks. Nope, no way. It brings to mind every horrid, un-erotic porn film from the 70's and 80's and it you don't take them off then we're not gettin' it on. 

<Thinking now> There is ONE exception to the no-socks rule and thats if I've just come home and you're so desperate to have me that you've pushed me back up against the front door. If the circumstances are so hot that theres no time to consider removing clothes and we're limited to just ripping them open then you can keep your socks on, and your shoes and everything else. 

And I'll make your dinner and let you watch sports all night and I'll tell ALL my girlfriends too :wubu: 

Tracey xx


----------



## Paw Paw (Jul 18, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Please define a "bad" blow job..... or perhaps tell what makes one good?



For me, it is teeth. Scraping a tooth across "The Mayor" is a definite NO!
Hands, and soft gentle (suction?). Don't try to pull like you want to get the last part of your shake.



BeaBea said:


> For me that only kicks in when they want to put their most favourite bit of their anatomy into my most favourite bit of mine... Anything else just feels like the trailers when you're dying for the film to start
> 
> As for socks. Nope, no way. It brings to mind every horrid, un-erotic porn film from the 70's and 80's and it you don't take them off then we're not gettin' it on.
> 
> ...



The door scenario is very, very, sensual. I love it!

Peace,
2p.
p.s. If you saw my feet, you would want socks.


----------



## Ample Pie (Jul 18, 2007)

BeaBea said:


> For me that only kicks in when they want to put their most favourite bit of their anatomy into my most favourite bit of mine... Anything else just feels like the trailers when you're dying for the film to start
> 
> As for socks. Nope, no way. It brings to mind every horrid, un-erotic porn film from the 70's and 80's and it you don't take them off then we're not gettin' it on.
> 
> ...



Another case of NOT being in my bed and also being a bit 'fast and dirty,' so such a instance is exempt from my sock rule!


----------



## Jes (Jul 18, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> Why do ladies like talking about their exes?



i think women talk more about everything (no 'yeah i know!' jokes, please) and if the woman in question was very invested in those relationships, they made up a big part of her life. Plus, women talk about things to try to get closure and b/c so many relationships end without closure...more talking!


----------



## Jes (Jul 18, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> No, Les, I don't do this.... nor have I ever met a female that did this. Was this an old gf? Perhaps she was teasing you? attempting to turn you on? Bf/husbands are the only people that have ever seen me touch mine



i have seen more people touch themselves and then take a whiff, thinking I don't notice it. NEVER the vag, though, and that makes me think she either TRULY doesn't think you notice and is obessed with checking OR has OCD, as someone suggested. 

FYI: if you ever thinking you can touch and whiff w/o being seen. You probably can't. But at least you can know that most people do it. We ARE animals, after all.


----------



## Jes (Jul 18, 2007)

activistfatgirl said:


> . I like hearing the different "that's the spot" responses.
> 
> .



i like hearing ANYTHING.

if this is a no-holds barred thread, then please, men, tell me why you don't make much noise during sex (if you don't). I've met mostly quiet guys. I don't love the instructions-and-weird-porn-talk guys, but it's great to know I'm not fellating a corpse.

and I'm not kidding about that. Q U I E T. and I hope that's not down to my skill or willingness b/c I've gotten good feedback! Anyone else?


----------



## Jes (Jul 18, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> an unexpected Tab A to go in your Slot B. My first reaction is always, "what are we in Europe?"



oh, honey! tab A always goes in slot A! 

i guess we're talking about buttsecks, again?


----------



## Jes (Jul 18, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> I admit that I'm concerned that my somewhat amusing "tab A slot B" joke is being overlooked. I trust that this is not the case.


just now read this. i'm on to you, missy.


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## Waxwing (Jul 18, 2007)

Jes said:


> oh, honey! tab A always goes in slot A!
> 
> i guess we're talking about buttsecks, again?



When did we ever stop talking about buttsecks, jes?


----------



## Jes (Jul 18, 2007)

Wagimawr said:


> I happen to have an overly sensitive penal system (beat THAT, waxwing.



are you the wardon, or an inmate?

(the beat that was funny, but not the way you intended, i think!!)

i think there will be a whole page of just my comments to this thread so i'll stop.


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## Jes (Jul 18, 2007)

malvineous said:


> Bah, we're going in circles. I give up.



well, circles are great in the beginning, but when I'm close, I need the ole up and down. The trick is learning to know when I'm close. And I so love it when they do!



oh. i am all hot and bothered now. i think it was tracey's comment about not liking the diving between the thighs for the 4 hour trip to orgasmtown, or whatever the hell she said!


----------



## snuggletiger (Jul 18, 2007)

Jes said:


> i think women talk more about everything (no 'yeah i know!' jokes, please) and if the woman in question was very invested in those relationships, they made up a big part of her life. Plus, women talk about things to try to get closure and b/c so many relationships end without closure...more talking!



And my reaction usually is, "If he's so great, why am I the poor guy picking up the tab here?" and then I look for the Candid Camera crew.


----------



## cammy (Jul 18, 2007)

OMG, this thread took off quick. 

I once had a guy give me specific instructions on how to give the perfect blow job - I guess all my lovers before him were just pretending to get off. lol. 
My ex, although more than willing to go down on me, was pretty mediocre for nearly 2 years (yeah, 2 years!), then one night he totally got it sooooo right and he was then always great w/ oral. Go figure! And no, he didn't practice on someone else...although the thought did cross my mind at the time.

And when I want information on sex, I always ask a 20 y-o male.

Socks...I actually prefer mitttens.


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## Jes (Jul 18, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> And my reaction usually is, "If he's so great, why am I the poor guy picking up the tab here?" and then I look for the Candid Camera crew.



i think a lot of the talking is not 'he's so great.' Maybe it sounds like that to you? I think I'd react well if someone asked me, gently, about why I'm discussing the topic. Don't think I'd answer: Because he was so great! More like: Because that was a time in my life when ---- and I like talking about it. Or: Because that was a time in my life when ---- and I'm glad I've moved on!

Know what I mean? Ask the woman gently, maybe at a different moment, and find out what she's actually saying. If she's saying she was happier with her exes, tell her you don't like hearing that!


----------



## Jes (Jul 18, 2007)

Jes said:


> are you the wardon, or an inmate?
> 
> (the beat that was funny, but not the way you intended, i think!!)
> 
> i think there will be a whole page of just my comments to this thread so i'll stop.



damnit! i mispelled something in a comment about someone misspelling something.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Jul 18, 2007)

I have to ask the ladies who don't like getting oral. Do you orgasm - everytime???


----------



## fatgirlflyin (Jul 18, 2007)

Mini said:


> How important is sex? How long will you wait for someone to be ready?



Sex is very important. How long I'll wait depends on how much I like the person, because in all honesty I can't imagine myself having a relationship with someone that I'm not sexually compatible with. I'd like to know if things "click" before I'm too invested emotionally.


----------



## Waxwing (Jul 18, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I have to ask the ladies who don't like getting oral. Do you orgasm - everytime???



With sex? Um, no. In fact, not any time. I only orgasm myself. Wait. You know what I mean. That is to say I have never had an orgasm which was caused by another person. People have been there, but you know.

Holy crap did I just admit that out loud?!?!?

:doh:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 18, 2007)

Rebecca said:


> That's a rule in my house--in bed there are no socks if you want to get any action at all.
> 
> As for pre-cum, I'm a fan--but then I'm a fan of wet and/or messy petting and/or sex, so long as food isn't involved. Food sex is not my thing.



What in heck does all this pre-cum everyone keeps mentioning look like????????????????
Am I just "too busy" to notice it? :blink:


----------



## Violet_Beauregard (Jul 18, 2007)

Nope... hell no. Oral does nothing for me... can't orgasm from it. Intercourse doesn't make me orgasm... its manual either by him or by me, which is VERY difficult for me to achieve....or by the dreaded vibrator, which is a piece of cake..... 




Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I have to ask the ladies who don't like getting oral. Do you orgasm - everytime???


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 18, 2007)

Rebecca said:


> No tv either, totally. No stopping to answer the phone if you want to continue. No socks. No pets hanging around. No small children. Flash photography is fine, though.



I found I had a certain fondness for TV during sex with my last bf


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## Mini (Jul 18, 2007)

... Precum?


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 18, 2007)

malvineous said:


> Actually, unlike cunnilingus, there is a wrong way to do it.



Wow... who gave you the impression that all cunnilingus is good? :huh: 
There are MANY wrong ways to do it..... rare is the man that can actually do it good without a lot of practice and guidance from myself to tell him my preference on it. 



malvineous said:


> The most important thing to keep in mind when performing is RHYTHM. There are many varied techniques and speeds with which you can go to work, but that doesn’t mean you should switch between them constantly. At the beginning, pick a position and speed and stick with it throughout. There are a couple of exceptions, for instance steadily going from slow to fast is very good. Some variation in technique can be great as well, but when you switch, only do so for a few seconds before switching back. It ends up being a buzz kill when you get into a rhythm only to have it change suddenly. How satisfying would intercourse be if your special guy stopped you every 30 seconds to change position? You’d probably punch him.



Well, you know, 20-30 minutes into one, your neck and mouth gets tired- and could even go numb. So her need to move is a physical one and not intended to annoy a man- especially when she's working so hard to please him. Actually it's annoying when he won't go ahead and cum and makes me want to quit :blink: Plus it might make me lose interest in the whole act itself and start thinking about when Forensic Files is coming on  



malvineous said:


> 2. “Are guys intimidated by attractive, confident, and intelligent women?”
> This is a bullshit myth that started with the women, not the men. This is very similar with the all too present retort to any negative criticism “Well, you’re just JEALOUS!!1~”. The reality is that all guys are intimidated by slutty, bitchy, and arrogant women. Believe me, there is nothing sexier to a man than confidence and intelligence (big tits aside). *The women who have a problem are the bitchy ones who are full of themselves*. Of course this is hard for them to bear, hence the excuse that “They’re just intimidated by how awesome I am!”



I have known many confident, attractive and intelligent women that get stereo-typed as bitchy simply because they won't allow a man to walk all over them- and yes, there are many guys who will quickly do so ... if allowed 



malvineous said:


> 3. “Take the socks OFF!!”
> Socks have been getting some flames on this thread as well as the world over, and I never understood why. Part of me is pissed off about the whole thing since it seems so insignificant and childish, but I do want to know the reason. So women, why all the sock hate?



Ummm... personally I don't "hate" it but it does make him seem nerdy, imo. Also, at the end of a long day, who in hell wants to smell some stinky socks during sex - nasty indeed and a real mood killer

How hard is it to take your socks off? Why would that piss you off?


----------



## snuggletiger (Jul 18, 2007)

Why is it women act interested then whammy they seemed bored and want to read? I wouldn't mind but do they have to play that game when a good rerun of Benson comes on?.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 18, 2007)

Paw Paw said:


> For me, it is teeth. Scraping a tooth across "The Mayor" is a definite NO!
> Hands, and soft gentle (suction?). Don't try to pull like you want to get the last part of your shake.



Thank You  :bow: :bow:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 18, 2007)

Mini said:


> ... Precum?



Exactly :huh:


----------



## Waxwing (Jul 18, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> Why is it women act interested then whammy they seemed bored and want to read? I wouldn't mind but do they have to play that game when a good rerun of Benson comes on?.



I do not know these women but I am annoyed with them already.

Also, now the theme to Benson is in my head. Shit.


----------



## wistful (Jul 18, 2007)

Violet_Beauregard said:


> Intercourse doesn't make me orgasm...




I'm someone who has never,ever had an orgasm from intercourse alone and for *years* I thought this made me strange.Part of the reason I thought this made me odd was I was told by more then one guy that they "couldn't understand why I can't have an orgasm through intercourse ".I was told that their other girlfriends in the past have climaxed this way so why couldn't I? It was almost being said in a semi-hostile manner.It was only until I became older and wiser that I realized that many women have difficulty reaching orgasm this way and that I wasn't so strange.The shit you put up with when you're young!


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## snuggletiger (Jul 18, 2007)

why is it the woman is always in the mood at the most difficult time?


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## fatgirlflyin (Jul 18, 2007)

What's with the going to sleep after sex? Sex totally wakes me up, like wide awake in the middle of the day awake!


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 18, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> Why is it women act interested then whammy they seemed bored and want to read? I wouldn't mind but do they have to play that game when a good rerun of Benson comes on?.



As a man, you might think you're having sex with her body.....but you also have sex with her mind (if this makes sense to you). My mind has to be in the right place for the physical to work. Probably why foreplay and quality time are so important to some women. 
He might say something that seems uncaring or reminds me of a "problem" I perceive in the relationship....my ardor can instantly drain.  
It's not intentional. Trust me when I tell you, I hate it. I wish I could be more "detached" because then sex probably would be a helluva lot more enjoyable.

In short, how I react is sometimes just how I am wired


***I have noticed that some "fantasy play" can help me get my mind in the right place- as in the everyday stuff can't creep in so easily if I distract myself with thoughts of things that turn me on.


----------



## Jes (Jul 18, 2007)

wistful said:


> I'm someone who has never,ever had an orgasm from intercourse alone and for *years* I thought this made me strange.Part of the reason I thought this made me odd was I was told by more then one guy that they "couldn't understand why I can't have an orgasm through intercourse ".I was told that their other girlfriends in the past have climaxed this way so why couldn't I? It was almost being said in a semi-hostile manner.It was only until I became older and wiser that I realized that many women have difficulty reaching orgasm this way and that I wasn't so strange.The shit you put up with when you're young!


3 out of 10. 3 out of 10. I swear, the number of women who have looked at me with surprise and relief when I've said this has blown me away. I always thought everyone knew that. Luckily, I've never gotten the 'how come you can't...all my other GFs...' from a man. Then again, I've never faked an orgasm in my life, either.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 18, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> why is it the woman is always in the mood at the most difficult time?




This time, I have no idea what you're talking about :doh:


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## snuggletiger (Jul 18, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> As a man, you might think you're having sex with her body.....but you also have sex with her mind (if this makes sense to you). My mind has to be in the right place for the physical to work. Probably why foreplay and quality time are so important to some women.
> He might say something that seems uncaring or reminds me of a "problem" I perceive in the relationship....my ardor can instantly drain.
> It's not intentional. Trust me when I tell you, I hate it. I wish I could be more "detached" because then sex probably would be a helluva lot more enjoyable.
> 
> ...




I mean the woman starts, i get involved and then halfway through foreplay she just changes her mind. And she wonders why I would rather watch Benson or Sanford and Son. At least I know how those shows are going to end.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 18, 2007)

Jes said:


> 3 out of 10. 3 out of 10. I swear, the number of women who have looked at me with surprise and relief when I've said this has blown me away. I always thought everyone knew that. Luckily, I've never gotten the 'how come you can't...all my other GFs...' from a man. Then again, I've never faked an orgasm in my life, either.



Lol, that was what I was thinking as I read her post... how many of their past GFs had simply faked it so they would just stfu?


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 18, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> I mean the woman starts, i get involved and then halfway through foreplay she just changes her mind. And she wonders why I would rather watch Benson or Sanford and Son. At least I know how those shows are going to end.



Perhaps, you're not reacting as she had hoped/expected? Why not try asking her ahead of time what she wants to do?

I found that as "unromantic" as it might sound, talking about it ahead of time can sometimes make for some really good sex.


----------



## snuggletiger (Jul 18, 2007)

here's my question. Why is it during sex & foreplay women get all quiet? Its like they suddenly became mutes. So you are left wondering if its that bad or even good for the lady.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 18, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> here's my question. Why is it during sex & foreplay women get all quiet? Its like they suddenly became mutes. *So you are left wondering if its that bad or even good for the lady*.



ummm... why are you wondering? Ask her... I ask my man when I wonder what's going on. Ask her what she likes- what she wants you to do. Tell her that you really want her to enjoy it- that it gets you off to see her get off. She might surprise you 

Be very careful, too, during sex to never sound "judgmental" about any preferences she might have. OMFG, any guy that makes me feel judged during sex makes me not want to have sex with him again- or not any sex that *I* could actually enjoy.


----------



## Jes (Jul 18, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> here's my question. Why is it during sex & foreplay women get all quiet? Its like they suddenly became mutes. So you are left wondering if its that bad or even good for the lady.



i don't want to pathologize anyone, honestly, but clamming up or disassociating can be a sign of sexual trauma. It's a possibility.

In any case, have you ever lost an erection and not tried to get it back? Just let the moment pass? I think this is something most people do, male or female. If this is a real pattern with a specific partner, GEF is giving the best advice. When you're clothed, out of bed, and in a good mood, bring it up with your partner, using the 'I' method (When we're in the middle of sex and you stop, I feel confused because I don't know what's changed. Then I feel I've done something wrong. Is that accurate? Is that what you want me to read into this situation?)


----------



## Waxwing (Jul 18, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> As a man, you might think you're having sex with her body.....but you also have sex with her mind (if this makes sense to you). My mind has to be in the right place for the physical to work.



This is probably true for many, if not most women, but for the record I'm not like that. S'all physical to me, and my mental state doesn't matter all that much, unless I'm horribly miserably sad about something. Just sayin'.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 18, 2007)

Jes said:


> i don't want to pathologize anyone, honestly, but clamming up or disassociating can be a sign of sexual trauma. It's a possibility.
> 
> In any case, have you ever lost an erection and not tried to get it back? Just let the moment pass? I think this is something most people do, male or female. If this is a real pattern with a specific partner, GEF is giving the best advice. When you're clothed, out of bed, and in a good mood, bring it up with your partner, using the 'I' method (When we're in the middle of sex and you stop, I feel confused because I don't know what's changed. Then I feel I've done something wrong. Is that accurate? Is that what you want me to read into this situation?)



I totally agree... it's VERY IMPORTANT not to make her feel like she's done something wrong or is unable to please you. Jes is also right that there might be something in her past that comes up when you do certain things. She might not even be realizing it either. But then again, only you and her can work that out.


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## Wagimawr (Jul 18, 2007)

Ella Bella said:


> What's with the going to sleep after sex? Sex totally wakes me up, like wide awake in the middle of the day awake!


I think it's just an individual thing. Sometimes my mind wanders and I have to just do SOMETHING about that erection before I can go to sleep. Other times I do something about it and I'm neither sleepy nor more alert.

There's probably some individual medical reason for it, but damned if I know what it is.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 18, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> This is probably true for many, if not most women, but for the record I'm not like that. *S'all physical to me, and my mental state doesn't matter all that much,* unless I'm horribly miserably sad about something. Just sayin'.



I effing hate you


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Jul 18, 2007)

OK - I'm floored by that. I have never had a problem having an orgasm - except with penetration only. Oral or manual - no problemo. Does this ever get frustrating to you??





Waxwing said:


> With sex? Um, no. In fact, not any time. I only orgasm myself. Wait. You know what I mean. That is to say I have never had an orgasm which was caused by another person. People have been there, but you know.
> 
> Holy crap did I just admit that out loud?!?!?
> 
> :doh:


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jul 18, 2007)

No all men go to sleep after sex. But there is a chemical released after an orgasm that makes men go to sleep. It's physiological. 






Wagimawr said:


> I think it's just an individual thing. Sometimes my mind wanders and I have to just do SOMETHING about that erection before I can go to sleep. Other times I do something about it and I'm neither sleepy nor more alert.
> 
> There's probably some individual medical reason for it, but damned if I know what it is.


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Jul 18, 2007)

A man who gets angry because your can't have an orgasm just with his penis inside you - is lazy. And most women can't orgasm that way. Sad thing is most guys have no idea when a woman is faking.




wistful said:


> I'm someone who has never,ever had an orgasm from intercourse alone and for *years* I thought this made me strange.Part of the reason I thought this made me odd was I was told by more then one guy that they "couldn't understand why I can't have an orgasm through intercourse ".I was told that their other girlfriends in the past have climaxed this way so why couldn't I? It was almost being said in a semi-hostile manner.It was only until I became older and wiser that I realized that many women have difficulty reaching orgasm this way and that I wasn't so strange.The shit you put up with when you're young!


----------



## Waxwing (Jul 18, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> OK - I'm floored by that. I have never had a problem having an orgasm - except with penetration only. Oral or manual - no problemo. Does this ever get frustrating to you??



Well, yes and no. No because it's all I know and I always make sure that I take care o' my own business. Yes because I wonder if it would feel different if someone else caused it, and because it can make your partner feel as though they aren't "doing it right" which isn't the case. Well, not always the case.


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## Ample Pie (Jul 18, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I have to ask the ladies who don't like getting oral. Do you orgasm - everytime???



I don't like oral--those times I've received it, I have not orgasmed. 

I have orgasmed once from penetration and it was me doing it (B.O.B.'s cousin).

I have orgasmed with every person I've been with since I was approximately 24--but it isn't always easy and sometimes it takes more manual dexterity than is strictly sexy. Thank god I only fuck champions.

haha, that was crude, but you know what I mean.



Green Eyed Fairy said:


> As a man, you might think you're having sex with her body.....but you also have sex with her mind (if this makes sense to you). My mind has to be in the right place for the physical to work. Probably why foreplay and quality time are so important to some women.
> He might say something that seems uncaring or reminds me of a "problem" I perceive in the relationship....my ardor can instantly drain.
> It's not intentional. Trust me when I tell you, I hate it. I wish I could be more "detached" because then sex probably would be a helluva lot more enjoyable.
> 
> ...



I'm not much for role playing or fantasy play (though I can see how it's a great sexual tool for others), but sex is a very mental thing for me. If my brain isn't in the game, nothing else will be either.



snuggletiger said:


> here's my question. Why is it during sex & foreplay women get all quiet? Its like they suddenly became mutes. So you are left wondering if its that bad or even good for the lady.




This probably doesn't answer it on a general level, but personally, I get quiet because when I am aroused, my brain ceases to be able to make words and send them to my mouth.

I lose the ability to 1: make rational thoughts 2: put them into words.

I just hope that whoever I'm with understands the "oohs and ahhs" are good and the "ouches" are not and are also willing to ask simple questions that I can answer with simple responses.


----------



## Jes (Jul 18, 2007)

i don't think everyone can, or does, or has to, wax.

honestly, it's gotten much better for me as i've aged (Hello, Orgasmtown, population: Me!) but i ALSO had to learn how to do it. With someone else, I mean. I was already plenty good alone. *wink* I was surprised I had to learn how with someone else. I feel a bit dumb. But that dumbness is more than wiped away with the joy of knowing. 

But if you don't...then you don't. The end. Vagina.


----------



## Wagimawr (Jul 18, 2007)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> No all men go to sleep after sex. But there is a chemical released after an orgasm that makes men go to sleep. It's physiological.


Ah, so it's a guy vs. girl thing here?

I had no idea.


----------



## AnnMarie (Jul 18, 2007)

malvineous said:


> My experience has just been that the stroke direction/speed/depth/area of concentration does not matter as much, and variety is prized more than rhythm.



Again, for women who actually enjoy it and desire it (not probably for those who aren't really into it or just tolerate it), this is pretty much wrong on all counts. 

There are most definitely wrong ways to do it, and all the things you mentioned matter greatly, and vary (just as in men) from woman to woman.


----------



## Waxwing (Jul 18, 2007)

Jes said:


> i don't think everyone can, or does, or has to, wax.
> 
> honestly, it's gotten much better for me as i've aged (Hello, Orgasmtown, population: Me!) but i ALSO had to learn how to do it. With someone else, I mean. I was already plenty good alone. *wink* I was surprised I had to learn how with someone else. I feel a bit dumb. But that dumbness is more than wiped away with the joy of knowing.
> 
> But if you don't...then you don't. The end. Vagina.



Well it's good to know that it's learnable. Wow that is totally not a word. 

And that's exactly it-- I'm great with myself, but it might by nice to check out that action with someone else.

I second the motion: vagina.


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## Violet_Beauregard (Jul 18, 2007)

Ditto....

And I think learnable is actually a word. Maybe. 




Waxwing said:


> Well it's good to know that it's learnable. Wow that is totally not a word.


----------



## AnnMarie (Jul 18, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> Well, yes and no. No because it's all I know and I always make sure that I take care o' my own business. Yes because I wonder if it would feel different if someone else caused it, and because it can make your partner feel as though they aren't "doing it right" which isn't the case. Well, not always the case.



You'd feel different. Trust me. 

I find it really important, for closeness, to have my orgasm brought on by my partner. I'm sort of really anti-toys with a partner because I really don't WANT to make it happen that way, I can do that on my own, and the feeling of a mouth, or what-have-you, bringing it about is a completely different sensation in my body and mind. 

If I'm forced to use my own hands or a toy with a partner, I really feel as though I'm settling. While other things may be fun and great, there's a level of intimacy there that is just not present for me and it's really sad and frustrating on a level I can't fully explain. 

I'm not saying I'd NEVER use a toy with a partner, either, but if that's my only outlet... then I'm really not going to be happy and things are going to go downhill fast. 

*sigh*


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## fatgirlflyin (Jul 18, 2007)

I'm kinda funny with oral. I won't give head to a man unless I'm in love with him, its a very personal thing with me. Sex? I dont even have to _like_ you to fuck you but if your dick is in my mouth you better believe I'm in love. 

With women its not so personal to me. I enjoy going down on a woman. I like the smell, taste, and texture. I enjoy that feeling of being in control of their pleasure. I like to be the go downer though and not so much the reciever, but I love for a man to go down on me! Wierd I know... :doh: 

I can orgasm from penetration alone but its usually when I'm being fisted (TMI? yeah probably but whatever) and not from a penis. There's something different about an orgasm from penetration, for me anyway. Its more primal, animalistic and intense, it also makes me squirt (ejaculate if I'm being too crude) and it leaves me feeling like jelly.


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## mossystate (Jul 18, 2007)

The vaginas have it...motion carried.....




but, clitty, you are my real love:wubu:

My goal is finding a man who will go down on me 7 times a day...and liiiiiike it...


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## AnnMarie (Jul 18, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> Well it's good to know that it's learnable. Wow that is totally not a word.
> 
> And that's exactly it-- I'm great with myself, but it might by nice to check out that action with someone else.
> 
> I second the motion: vagina.



Totally learnable... you have to get to a really good, clear, open headspace. It's not always easy for everyone, but I really think it's possible. You need the right time/person, etc. But once I was able to make it happen, I've been able to ever since. It's not always easy, but it's possible... and knowing that is enough to keep trying when things don't work right off the bat.


----------



## Jes (Jul 18, 2007)

oh, please. There's no TMI in this thread. We blew the door of that one on page one, i think.

but anyway, Ella---i love that expression. 'the go downer.' It's poetic!


----------



## Ample Pie (Jul 18, 2007)

Wagimawr said:


> Ah, so it's a guy vs. girl thing here?
> 
> I had no idea.



Actually, after an orgasm, I quite often fall asleep. Sometimes, I masturbate just so I can quiet my mind and sleep. If I'm with someone else, though, I tend to get giggly after sex/orgasm.



AnnMarie said:


> Again, for women who actually enjoy it and desire it (not probably for those who aren't really into it or just tolerate it), this is pretty much wrong on all counts.
> 
> There are most definitely wrong ways to do it, and all the things you mentioned matter greatly, and vary (just as in men) from woman to woman.


Even though I'm not fond of it, I do have to admit that my lady-bits prefer counterclockwise motion. In general. So even I have a preference.


----------



## AnnMarie (Jul 18, 2007)

Rebecca said:


> Actually, after an orgasm, I quite often fall asleep. Sometimes, I masturbate just so I can quiet my mind and sleep. If I'm with someone else, though, I tend to get giggly after sex/orgasm.
> 
> 
> Even though I'm not fond of it, I do have to admit that my lady-bits prefer counterclockwise motion. In general. So even I have a preference.



I'm a clockwise girl.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 18, 2007)

Wagimawr said:


> Ah, so it's a guy vs. girl thing here?
> 
> I had no idea.




Maybe *shrugs*

I just usually want to get back to whatever TV show I was watching when it all started 

***Realizes that TV in the bedroom isn't always a good aphrodisiac


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## Wagimawr (Jul 18, 2007)

All women taste differently, yes? And I don't mean just slightly because everybody's different anyway, I mean are there some clearly noticeable variances in flavor?

I've tried taking a taste of my last girlfriend, and it just was not to my liking (the word that came to mind for me was "tangy" ).


----------



## snuggletiger (Jul 18, 2007)

hmmmm tangy, Ok I admit now I wish there was a Benson rerun on. For some reason after one of my last posts all I can think of is Harpo Marx and the crummy little bicycle horn that he honked all the time. So don't mind if I sing the Benson theme for a while.


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## mossystate (Jul 18, 2007)

After a really nice oragasm, I love the feeling of being like a big ( fat ) cat..rolling around a bit on the bed..grabbing at the skin next to me..rubbing up against said skin...coming down off the loveliness..and I hope to not let the end of this year go by without making this happen...my goal, folks..Monique gets laid by the new year...Dick Clarks Rockin New Year...indeed...

TMI...pffft..whatever


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 18, 2007)

mossystate said:


> After a really nice oragasm, I love the feeling of being like a big ( fat ) cat..rolling around a bit on the bed..grabbing at the skin next to me..rubbing up against said skin...coming down off the loveliness..*and I hope to not let the end of this year go by without making this happen...my goal, folks..Monique gets laid by the new year*...Dick Clarks Rockin New Year...indeed...
> 
> TMI...pffft..whatever




I'd do ya... oooooooooooppppppppppppsssssssssssssss


I mean I would clean your shoes


----------



## Wagimawr (Jul 18, 2007)

psst

i think mossystate prefers the cawk edit: NO. I REFUSE. THE WORD IS COCK.

could be wrong, though. as a guy that tends to happen.


----------



## Ample Pie (Jul 18, 2007)

Wagimawr said:


> All women taste differently, yes? And I don't mean just slightly because everybody's different anyway, I mean are there some clearly noticeable variances in flavor?
> 
> I've tried taking a taste of my last girlfriend, and it just was not to my liking (the word that came to mind for me was "tangy" ).



I have limited experience here, I'll be honest, but from what I've seen "tangy" is a pretty good word for it. And I don't mind "tangy" in the least.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 18, 2007)

Wagimawr said:


> psst
> 
> i think mossystate prefers the cawk edit: NO. I REFUSE. THE WORD IS COCK.
> 
> could be wrong, though. as a guy that tends to happen.




Now don't you go getting cawky on me, too Mister


----------



## Wagimawr (Jul 18, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Now don't you go getting cawky on me, too Mister



THE WORD IS CAULK






(oops, shit. :doh

THE WORD IS COCK





(ah, close enough.)


----------



## cammy (Jul 18, 2007)

I've found that the older I get, the easier it is to orgasm in different positions, as well as orally - although doggie style never works orgasmically, but is the easiest for my BHM.

The TV can provide just enough light for love making, so if its on - leave it on, but mute it or you might be distracted by something like an ad for Viagra.

Quiet during foreplay and sex - well, before my climax, pretty quiet because if my guy knew what was going on in my brain - he'd freak! After that, to enhance his experience, the censor switch is off...


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## mossystate (Jul 18, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I'd do ya... oooooooooooppppppppppppsssssssssssssss
> 
> 
> I mean I would clean your shoes



If I were bi or curious..and I liked slightly psychotic women...baby...I would have my hands on the back of your head soooooooo fast...:wubu:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 18, 2007)

mossystate said:


> If I were bi or curious..and I liked slightly psychotic women...baby...*I would have my hands on the back of your head soooooooo fast.*..:wubu:




you just turned me on...ooooppppsss I mean thanks  :wubu:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 18, 2007)

Wagimawr said:


> THE WORD IS COCK



He's so hot :wubu:


----------



## love dubh (Jul 18, 2007)

My hookup is one of those silent-during-sex/fellatio types, but twice I've gotten him to breathe quite heavily, and during those times I felt horny too. It was good times for all. 

Horny is as horny does....or something? 

And I'm on the wagon for those who don't orgasm via penetration. Hell, I typically don't come unless he's exhibiting some commendable finger dexterity and indurance. It's defeatist of me, but if five or ten minutes go by, and I ain't feeling any indication of the grand finale, I tell him to stop. Or I just don't ask for anything in return to begin with. Is that insulting to be presumptuous?

As per the inevitable "Was it good for you?" (or variant thereof) after sex, my response has always been "I enjoyed the ride." I don't know if that's a dick thing to say or not. Is it, boys?

Also: Vagina. AnnMarie needs to give a lecture on achieving the Big O. Waxy and I will attend.

Also^2: HEY! At least I don't freak and cry during sex anymore. That's an accomplishment. Yay, me.


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## Catalina (Jul 18, 2007)

This is a GREAT thread, Rebecca! Thanks for starting it. 


With regards to oral sex, while it's not something I HAVE to have - it's not my fav of favs of sex acts, though I can climax with it - I would not choose to be with someone who had hang-ups about it; I prefer to be with someone who is open to and wants to do anything and everything to, and with, my body!What I struggle with when it's happening, however, is not concerning myself with thoughts such as Am I taking too long, or Is he getting tired? I've never had a boyfriend complain about it - quite the opposite, in fact - but it certainly can be a distraction for me on this end. You know, the whole Receiving-graciously-instead-of-wondering-how-HE's-doing thing.And I don't orgasm from penetration alone. I'm a fan of manual manipulation (either his or mine) or mechanical manipulation (done by him or me). It's all good. And the G-spot? I've always been intrigued by the idea of it; I know it exists, at least for some. In fact, I used to have friends, a lesbian couple, who used to have to place a plastic cover on their mattress after the discovery of theirs! But I've not found mine. At least, not yet.But not for a lack of trying, mind you. I recently purchased a G-spot vibrator, and while it brings about some pretty, well, unusual and kinda intense sensations, I've found that after a while I get bored with trying, opt to have a regular orgasm and go on about my day. *lol*And, Ella, back in my days of Wine, women and song (nowadays it's more about wine and song), I used to prefer to be the go-downer, too (great term, btw!), for all the reasons you listed. I enjoyed the response(s) elicited, and always admired how open and free my partners were with themselves and their reactions. PS: For some wacky reason I'm not able to create individual paragraphs; it's all coming out in one big blob. Ugh.


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## love dubh (Jul 18, 2007)

Catalina said:


> What I struggle with when it's happening, however, is not concerning myself with thoughts such as Am I taking too long, or Is he getting tired?




+1, forever and always.


----------



## Kareda (Jul 18, 2007)

Mini said:


> ... Precum?



Its clear, water-like but imo tastes different. 



Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I have to ask the ladies who don't like getting oral. Do you orgasm - everytime???



Not all the time with oral, 50/50 maybe. Now with a vibe- everytime.



snuggletiger said:


> here's my question. Why is it during sex & foreplay women get all quiet? Its like they suddenly became mutes. So you are left wondering if its that bad or even good for the lady.



You need to have a chat with your lady. Maybe that is how she is. I know I certainly am not! Communication leads to greater sex imo.

Love this thread, thanks for the chuckles...and the info!


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Jul 18, 2007)

You're not alone sweetheart - I feel the same way. And for me it was always "Look if I have to do this myself - why are you here?" 




AnnMarie said:


> You'd feel different. Trust me.
> 
> I find it really important, for closeness, to have my orgasm brought on by my partner. I'm sort of really anti-toys with a partner because I really don't WANT to make it happen that way, I can do that on my own, and the feeling of a mouth, or what-have-you, bringing it about is a completely different sensation in my body and mind.
> 
> ...


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## mossystate (Jul 18, 2007)

SO important, trying to get over the thought that the person with you is not really into it..or you are 'taking too long'..etc...wow..that is tough to get over. One man I was with looked up and gave a lil sigh and a slight eyeroll, when I was gently telling him what would feel good to me......looked up like he was a doc and I was in the stirrups and he had just found something not quite right...there.........

We did talk about it..and he got better..much better...eyerolls aside, I wanted it so bad that that session did not end until I got what I wanted..heh


eta* I like using a hand while having intercourse, because there are times when his hands just are not going to get me there..needing a certain touch only I can provide for myself..and I do not orgasm through penetration alone....and....I like that working together thing ..


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jul 18, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> I'm a clockwise girl.



Really? I'm a push your tongue against it and make a throbbing motion with that tongue. Holy crap that works every time!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 18, 2007)

mossystate said:


> SO important, trying to get over the thought that the person with you is not really into it..or you are 'taking too long'..etc...wow..that is tough to get over. One man I was with looked up and gave a lil sigh and a slight eyeroll, when I was gently telling him what would feel good to me......looked up like he was a doc and I was in the stirrups and he had just found something not quite right...there.........
> 
> We did talk about it..and he got better..much better...eyerolls aside, I wanted it so bad that that session did not end until I got what I wanted..heh



Eyerolling would be a definite mood-killer, to say the least. It would probably end all sexual contact- and I'm bitchy enough to let him watch me get myself off after that


----------



## fatgirlflyin (Jul 18, 2007)

Wagimawr said:


> All women taste differently, yes? And I don't mean just slightly because everybody's different anyway, I mean are there some clearly noticeable variances in flavor?
> 
> I've tried taking a taste of my last girlfriend, and it just was not to my liking (the word that came to mind for me was "tangy" ).




Yep all women taste different, just like all men taste different.


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## elle camino (Jul 18, 2007)

ok so i am ever so slightly bummed that my question got one halfassed response from some kid i don't know and that's it. 
saying!
k go back to talking about blowjobs.


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## Mini (Jul 18, 2007)

elle camino said:


> ...that whole "guys are intimidated by attractive, confident, intelligent women" thing is all BS, right?



Intimidation hits those with low self-esteem a lot harder than those who are confident.

(I know, kind of a "duh," but hear me out.)

If a dude with a healthy self-image sees an attractive chick, I doubt anything will get in his way, barring a cock-blocking evil friend/group of friends.

Conversely, if the dude thinks he's a pathetic prick, even Bertha the ungulate is going to be out of his league and intimidating.

I think the problem tends to be on the guy's end, all things being equal. (Meaning, if the girl gives off an evil cunt aura, chances are pretty good she'll think it's her winning smile and healthy level of confidence that's keeping dudes away.)


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## Violet_Beauregard (Jul 18, 2007)

+2, also forever and always



love dubh said:


> +1, forever and always.


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## BeaBea (Jul 18, 2007)

Violet_Beauregard said:


> +2, also forever and always



+3, also forever and always and usually starting after about 4 minutes...

Tracey xx


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## snuggletiger (Jul 18, 2007)

What are these + numbers? I have a feeling I am missing something, and yes I know the name of the potato chips is Frumpies


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## Mini (Jul 18, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> What are these + numbers? I have a feeling I am missing something, and yes I know the name of the potato chips is Frumpies



Generally just means that the person agrees with the poster and has given them rep to show it.


----------



## Tina (Jul 18, 2007)

elle camino said:


> ok so i am ever so slightly bummed that my question got one halfassed response from some kid i don't know and that's it.
> saying!
> k go back to talking about blowjobs.


Hey, at least someone read yours; I don't think anyone even bothered to read mine. 

I asked my question because a friend of mine once said she was convinced her husband cheated on her because he had small bit of toilet paper stuck to his foreskin when he came home from work, and believed that guys only shook it and didn't ever wipe.


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## snuggletiger (Jul 18, 2007)

Always wipe  there's the answer. And I know nobody eats frumpies anymore.


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## Wayne_Zitkus (Jul 18, 2007)

Keb said:


> So, guys...
> 
> Do you like us better with or without makeup?


If putting on makeup makes a woman feel better about herself and more self-confident, that makes her sexy to me. I know that's how it is with Sandie. I think she looks great with or without make-up.


----------



## Wayne_Zitkus (Jul 18, 2007)

Rebecca said:


> Guys: How would you prefer that we refer to your genitalia? Seriously? How and when does it change depending on the situation? How would you prefer we didn't refer to your genitalia?


Ladies:

Whatever name you use to refer to a man's manhood, it's considered bad manners to point and laugh.

:bow:


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## BeaBea (Jul 18, 2007)

Wayne_Zitkus said:


> Ladies:
> 
> Whatever name you use to refer to a man's manhood, it's considered bad manners to point and laugh.
> 
> :bow:



Are we allowed to say 'Awww, isn't it SWEET' and look vaguely sorrowful?

(I already do, but you knew that, right?)
Tracey xx


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## Keb (Jul 18, 2007)

BeaBea said:


> Are we allowed to say 'Awww, isn't it SWEET' and look vaguely sorrowful?



Now you're giving me images of going, "Aw, lookit, does it do tricks? Come on, I'll give you a treat! Play dead! Roll over! Stand!"


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## Mini (Jul 18, 2007)

Wayne_Zitkus said:


> Ladies:
> 
> Whatever name you use to refer to a man's manhood, it's considered bad manners to point and laugh.
> 
> :bow:



Betty Etiquette says: Use your mouth and your fingers the way God intended - Juggle the balls while working the shaft.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jul 18, 2007)

Mini said:


> Betty Etiquette says: Use your mouth and your fingers the way God intended - Juggle the balls while working the shaft.



What about tickling the ass???? Can't forget the ass!!!!!


(sorry I couldn't resist)


----------



## Ample Pie (Jul 18, 2007)

Embarrassing truth time!

I started this thread because I was attempting to compose an email (which was honestly mostly innocent) and I was having a hard time (no puns) trying to decide which term to use to describe the recipient's genitalia. I panicked and I thought that the best way to solve said issue was to bring the question to some MEN!! So that's what I did.

Today, I was reading this thread and the same person to whom I was writing that email asked what I was up to...and because I have a hard time not being honest, I said..."Reading about blow jobs." Yeah.

Anyway, long story short, I eventually let this person see this thread and told this person that this thread was all because of a 5 sentence email I composed to him that also took me nearly 30 minutes to put together. Needless to say, I was a bit embarrassed.

Why am I telling you this? Because he doesn't like his balls juggled.

Why am I telling you that? It's the middle of the night and I'm a moron?


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jul 18, 2007)

Rebecca said:


> Why am I telling you this? Because he doesn't like his balls juggled.



Tickle his ass - he'll like that,:bow:


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## Fuzzy (Jul 18, 2007)

So the T in Mr. T doesn't stand for teenie?


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## rainyday (Jul 18, 2007)

I haven't read all the pages of this thread yet, but here's my question:

Why do men have to be so confusing, confounding and intoxicating all at the same time? It's infuriating.


----------



## ScreamingChicken (Jul 18, 2007)

rainyday said:


> I haven't read all the pages of this thread yet, but here's my question:
> 
> Why do men have to be so confusing, confounding and intoxicating all at the same time? It's infuriating.



Because we're just that damn good.


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## Spanky (Jul 19, 2007)

elle camino said:


> ...that whole "guys are intimidated by attractive, confident, intelligent women" thing is all BS, right?



I guess no one answered for the reason you just wrote, hun!  

I would have to say that I am attracted to and never intimidated by intelligence and confidence. I would be a bit intimidated by a beautiful woman (in my eyes). But that is attributed more to typical shyness than "guys" in general.


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## Spanky (Jul 19, 2007)

Tina said:


> Men: do you wipe after you pee, ever, or only shake it off?



Tina, sorry you didn't get many answers. 

Wipe? That is reserved for the hinder regions. Tap, wait, tap again. The older you get, there is more tapping and waiting and repeating. I am astounded how "not tight" my plumbing is getting while my young boys have shut offs tighter than a drum!! 

As for toilet paper on the tip, I have to say that this happens when there is a toilet paper cleaning of semen involved. Then it sticks and stays overnight. Pee would dry and the paper would fall off.

The problem may be more than peeing......


----------



## LoveBHMS (Jul 19, 2007)

elle camino said:


> ...that whole "guys are intimidated by attractive, confident, intelligent women" thing is all BS, right?



Ok, I had totally missed this until now.

No, it is not bullshit. Not at all. And no, this myth was not started by women although I do believe the "women don't like nice guys" myth was started by men so they could excuse being jerks.

Being the music-y sort that you are, I'm wondering if you're perhaps familiar with an old Calypso tune whose refrain was "if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife." The gist of it is, if you marry a hot chick she'll just screw around with your heart because you both will always know she could get somebody else but an ugly broad would be ever so grateful to you for choosing her and she would never ever ever step out on you or stop trying to please you.

Lots of men are in fact intimidated by attractive women. Many of them are afraid of being rejected so they prefer to date women who will think they can't do "better." Also, if your goal in life is to be a complete dick and never be called out on it, you are not going to want a confident and intelligent type because she won't stick around for that. Same goes if fidelity isn't so much your thing; the attractive, confident, intelligent woman will say "If he cheats, I leave because I deserve better" whereas an ugly troll knows she can't walk out and hope to meet somebody else. She'll figure "Well, I have to stay put because maybe nobody else would want me."

Additionally, some guys feel they have to be the star in a relationship. They just can't deal with the notion that their girl will outshine them in any way. Or worse that his peers will wonder what she's doing with a guy like him. In other words, they worry about appearing inferior next to a sassy and stylish broad (I'm thinking of somebody in particular here...) so they figure "I'll date a more plain Jane sort who'll kind of let me have the spotlight and probably not make so many demands."

So no, ladybug...not b.s.


----------



## Violet_Beauregard (Jul 19, 2007)

THIS was priceless....... LOLOL  



Spanky said:


> Tap, wait, tap again. The older you get, there is more tapping and waiting and repeating. I am astounded how "not tight" my plumbing is getting .....


----------



## cammy (Jul 19, 2007)

elle camino said:


> ok so i am ever so slightly bummed that my question got one halfassed response from some kid i don't know and that's it.
> saying!
> k go back to talking about blowjobs.



I'll try a serious answer to this (lol)- but its simply based on my perception of various lovers' various responses...Some men like their dicks to be sucked so hard its like sucking the chrome off a tailpipe, others like a handjob with fellatio only to the head, and some like their entire co*k "swallowed" so you have to open your throat, Some like some licking included. Some prefer it fast, others slow and some like you to play with their b*lls durings the entire process or not. Some like teeth drag, some all lips and tongue. Some want you to swallow, others don't care one way or the other, and some like to put it in you right before they c*m. Whatever you can think to do, try it and ask your man to tell you what feels good to him.


----------



## Zandoz (Jul 19, 2007)

rainyday said:


> I haven't read all the pages of this thread yet, but here's my question:
> 
> Why do men have to be so confusing, confounding and intoxicating all at the same time? It's infuriating.




Because we're hopelessly trying to keep up with women. :bow:


----------



## Paw Paw (Jul 19, 2007)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Amen!

Peace,
2P.


----------



## Zandoz (Jul 19, 2007)

elle camino said:


> ...that whole "guys are intimidated by attractive, confident, intelligent women" thing is all BS, right?



Intimidated, no...expected rejection, always...plesantly surprised, once (married her).


----------



## Jes (Jul 19, 2007)

rainyday said:


> I haven't read all the pages of this thread yet, but here's my question:
> 
> Why do men have to be so confusing, confounding and intoxicating all at the same time? It's infuriating.



DUH! because they want us to be bewitched, bothered and bewildered.

double duh.


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## bigsexy920 (Jul 19, 2007)

How do I get you to fall head over heels for me ?


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## snuggletiger (Jul 19, 2007)

Give the guy a clue and not one of those subtle it can be anything type of clue. Sometimes you playing with your hair can be interpreted as yes a gal playing with her hair. Or a simple wink. Maybe you are hinting, maybe you have something in your eye, or maybe you developed a nervous tick/twitch. Hard to say unless you (the girl) say something.


----------



## Tina (Jul 19, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> Always wipe  there's the answer. And I know nobody eats frumpies anymore.





Spanky said:


> Tina, sorry you didn't get many answers.
> 
> Wipe? That is reserved for the hinder regions. Tap, wait, tap again. The older you get, there is more tapping and waiting and repeating. I am astounded how "not tight" my plumbing is getting while my young boys have shut offs tighter than a drum!!


Don't feel too bad, this happens with women, too, Spanky.


> As for toilet paper on the tip, I have to say that this happens when there is a toilet paper cleaning of semen involved. Then it sticks and stays overnight. Pee would dry and the paper would fall off.
> 
> The problem may be more than peeing......



Thanks for answering, guys!!

Hmmm... so maybe she was onto something? And Spanky, rep to you for my first Dims laugh of the day. The "tap" thing made me chuckle.  Thanks again for answering.


----------



## snuggletiger (Jul 19, 2007)

You are welcome Tina, Sometimes its nice to know that my mind which is full of useless facts and info can be useful.


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## Tina (Jul 20, 2007)

Snuggle


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Jul 20, 2007)

Great thread! I know several questions have been asked and reasked so apologies for not quoting everyone on everything.

*The flavor of women.* Yes, this is different but also the same. I would say it varies from woman to woman but for me it's more variant during the cycle and with the consistency of, ahem, _secretions_. I would say tangier/muskier closer to ovulation, but almost tasteless immediately after the menstrual cycle. Again, your mileage may vary. Many women regardless of how close you may be with them are very sensitive as to their taste or odor; it's damn near a societal tic, Vagisil and douche commercials aside. Sharing each other's flavors is part of the intimacy, and can produce some very incredible responses. Depending on her physiology and your efforts, the word _copious_ may rise to the forefront of your mind. Never let her think this is a bad thing; it's some of the best evidence that you are doing things correctly and natural lubrication makes everything groovy-er.

*Sleeping after sex.* I am a scientist, so I tend to overanalyze, which means afterwards I like to cuddle and compare notes. Almost a performance evaluation at the end of a semester, except with fewer #2 pencils. Every session of sex (and this is going to come off totally wrong so apologies beforehand) to me is an experiment in pleasure. Perform X on subject Y and measure response Z. Vary X and X' (say position, technique, toys, etc.) and reevaluate. Adjust mood W or other factors (time of day, month, kids at grandparents, etc.) and see how things go. A lot of good sex is all about continuous process improvement: It's not just a Dilbert word--it's a rule of life. I am not bragging here but historically SHE has fallen asleep before me, which means I am either boring as hell or I've exhausted her sufficiently for the endorphins to trigger the melatonin, etc.. Plus, if she falls asleep first, you get to watch her sleep. When she wakes up 20 minutes before you do, you may get the best alarm clock in the world .

*Oral for me.* Normally I wouldn't touch this topic with a ten inch double dong in most cases, but I will bite. I personally find blowjobs to be overrated (GASP, CRY, OMGWTFBBWBBQ). Many guys I know have said it's just because I've been cursed with a history of women who give lousy head, but I disagree. It's a ratio, just like guys who give good head to women and so forth, and I have to quote Chris Rock here, misogyny aside: Women either like to do it or don't like to do it. If you don't, don't bother with it. Be honest up front, ladies, because men do pay attention to this. Nothing makes my pee-pee go boing boing and then CRASH like when you approach it with the apprehension of someone pulling a dog turd out of a birthday cake. It won't bite you and it does work quite well, thankyouverymuch. Other women just devour the caouck (trying to get every variance in there), and it shows. Enthusiasm, vocalization (as much as can be attempted) and EYE CONTACT are essential. Did I mention eye contact with regard to the contact of the eyes in relation to my field of vision? Phasis-emay on the ontactcay eyeay. _Oculus contages_. Believe me, my eyes will give volumes more feedback as to my pleasure than my pubes will, and are a damn sight cuter as well. And, contrary to popular belief, guys do like looking at those visual orbs above your breasteses on occasion...this would be one of those occasions. Also, don't swallow just for our benefit if it's going to make you gag or give you this wry face. One of the best oral sessions I ever had was with a lover who wanted me to fill her mouth, who then promtly raced across the bed, face puffed Dizzie Gillespie style, only to spit it out in the trashcan. Ooh la la lame indeed, and all the grace of Helen Keller doing a dismount off the parallel bars.

Oh, and guys, if flavor is a concern, a bit of advice. Citrus and pineapple = good, cruciferous vegetables (brussels sprouts, broccoli), milk and garlic = bad. You want your semen to taste like a pudding pop, not a carton of milk that's been left out for 2 days.

*Oral for her. * Bit of backstory; I had an issue with medication back in the early 90s (maybe a ministroke, who knows), which caused my scent memory to be extra acute on occasion, and often damnably confusing. When I eat anything with MSG, I taste and smell plastic. The upside (or downside, depending on your perspective), is when I taste or smell a woman, I carry that with me for 24-48 hours. It's always on the wind, even after showering. Over time it made me very appreciative of a ladies' scent, but is also very frustrating, especially during those 10am piss breaks at work when all I can smell is bathroom disinfectant and oh yeah, PUSSY  . Oral for her is to me like CNN. I want constant updates. If I am moving off the little man in the boat by as much as 2mm and therefore putting you off your O, I want to know, dammit. A guy who can't take simple direction isn't worth your time, regardless of how much he thinks he knows. Pull my damn hair if you have to, it'll be gone in 10 years, anyway. Communication and feedback are sometimes subtle, since some muscles have a way of not lying. And have a safe word, because I won't stop unless you REALLY want me to. Multiples are one of those ways I am told I did a good job (that and having my head compressed to the thickness of paper by two thick, orgasming thighs...hallelujah).

*Communication.* I've never known a lover of mine to be quiet during sex, except when she gets really close. My understanding is sometimes it has to do with focus on the closure of the orgasm...just as easy (if not moreso) for women to totally lose it at the plateau phase than men, and one missed lick or movement, one misspoken word, can bring the whole thing to a DEAD STOP. If you want her vocal during sex, lay next to her. Start rubbing her and asking her to give you a topic. Spin a yarn, doesn't have to be Harlequin or Dear Penthouse but something wild. Build the touching, be it toy or finger or whatnot, but never let your lips stray far from her ear. Your breath and voice on her ear is going to excite about 10,000 microscopic hairs that go directly to her limbic system...that's a good thing. Don't mention her sister, mom or best friends in any way shape or form unless she mentions it FIRST. Go to a place you may not have gone before; in the heat of passion, she may tell you shit you never thought she'd think of in a million years; don't hold it against her. If she goes somewhere and mentions Mandingo or Marmaduke, you have been warned. You may want to ask if she will look you in the eyes as she cums...some women won't, but those that do give you a window into the soul that few get to see, and it's gotten me to the point of climaxing many times just with that.

Good sex is about the _gestalt_, not the act itself.


----------



## Ample Pie (Jul 20, 2007)

> Oh, and guys, if flavor is a concern, a bit of advice. Citrus and pineapple = good, cruciferous vegetables (brussels sprouts, broccoli), milk and garlic = bad. You want your semen to taste like a pudding pop, not a carton of milk that's been left out for 2 days.



Oh yes, and please avoid cigarettes and coffee, too, if you can. Especially when the moment is close at hand.

---

Next question:

Hand jobs? Guys, any tips? I'm in earnest here. I enjoy penises as a general rule, but as I don't have one it is sometimes tough to know the right pressure and rhythm etc.


----------



## lemmink (Jul 20, 2007)

Look, call me nuts but I've always wanted to know this. Do you guys ever put like long toilet rolls on your penises and have fights with them? This question has bothered me for YEARS and every guy I ask they all laugh and look at each other knowingly. It's driving me crazy!!


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Jul 20, 2007)

lemmink said:


> Look, call me nuts but I've always wanted to know this. Do you guys ever put like long toilet rolls on your penises and have fights with them? This question has bothered me for YEARS and every guy I ask they all laugh and look at each other knowingly. It's driving me crazy!!


 Uhh, no. You're thinking lacrosse. Or tennis. Or Jai Alai. Basically any sport where a guy uses a large phallic object to catch or hit a ball.

However, I find your idea interesting and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.


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## Ample Pie (Jul 20, 2007)

I'm just going to say it, intelligent/attractive men and women intimidate the hell out of me. It just so happens that I'm wired in a way that makes that rather pleasurable and so I enjoy putting myself in the path of the intimidation*--usually until the person doing the intimidating tells me to buzz off or I figure out why they intimidate me and learn to relate to them as I would any other person.

Of course I'm not a dude.

* if you've ever gotten a random PM from me that was apropos of NOTHING, this is the reason.

:blush:


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## Paw Paw (Jul 20, 2007)

bigsexy920 said:


> How do I get you to fall head over heels for me ?




Just be yourself. But, also try to understand where we are coming from. You ladies tend to act as if guys have no issues. Or we have too many. 

Find out what he likes, and if you really want him, do that. 

Contrary to popular belief, most of us do not want a woman throwing herself at us. But, we don't want to have an Indiana Jones type adventure to get her either. If you are interested, let him know. Just don't do it by bending over to pick up a pencil, while wearing a mini and no panties. Save that for later. 

Peace,
2P.


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## Waxwing (Jul 20, 2007)

Rebecca said:


> I'm just going to say it, intelligent/attractive men and women intimidate the hell out of me. It just so happens that I'm wired in a way that makes that rather pleasurable and so I enjoy putting myself in the path of the intimidation*--usually until the person doing the intimidating tells me to buzz off or I figure out why they intimidate me and learn to relate to them as I would any other person.



I am absolutely the same way, except I do not enjoy the intimidation.


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## The Obstreperous Ms. J (Jul 20, 2007)

Its not so much that I am intimidated, its more so that I am indifferent.


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## The Obstreperous Ms. J (Jul 20, 2007)

Rebecca said:


> Hand jobs? Guys, any tips? I'm in earnest here. I enjoy penises as a general rule, but as I don't have one it is sometimes tough to know the right pressure and rhythm etc.



I always find that communicating your willingness to learn and admitted ignorance to the subject at hand (pun intended) will bring forth (snicker) a greater sense of intimacy.


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## Ample Pie (Jul 20, 2007)

The Obstreperous Ms. J said:


> I always find that communicating your willingness to learn and admitted ignorance to the subject at hand (pun intended) will bring forth (snicker) a greater sense of intimacy.



Of course, but I'd still like to see the opinions from a sampling of Dimensions fellas.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 21, 2007)

lemmink said:


> Look, call me nuts but I've always wanted to know this. Do you guys ever put like long toilet rolls on your penises and have fights with them? This question has bothered me for YEARS and every guy I ask they all laugh and look at each other knowingly. It's driving me crazy!!



This is soooo hot...... toilet paper rolls so turn me on :blush:


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## Admiral_Snackbar (Jul 23, 2007)

Rebecca said:


> Of course, but I'd still like to see the opinions from a sampling of Dimensions fellas.


 The best piece of advice I can give (and this goes for the guys too) is to watch each other play. Does he use lotion, lube, dry? Is it a stroke or a tug? Is he touching other places, making faces, and so forth? Are there toys involved? Any number of variations may apply.

Visual cues are an issue. Men more often than not are looking at SOMETHING when they play, and chances are you are substituting yourself in this instance. Doing it ourselves by hand (hah) is not the same as someone else being with us, who more often than not may be in various stages of undress. Use this to your advantage. A hand job is one thing; a hand job where his face is pressed into your breasts or your face is being kissed all over is completely different and infinitely more intimate.

Another thing: Your hand and grip are not ours. There are times when a woman can squeeze too hard or not enough, the same as a guy can when pleasuring his lady. Get him to give you visual cues. It's also sometimes more about the stones than it is the shaft, so to speak. 

Surprise him. Talk dirty, talk demure, whatever strikes you (again, as always COMMUNICATION). It is highly unlikely the guy you just brought home from a bar is going to get a satisfactory HJ if you haven't prefaced it with some appropriate questions. It is also sometimes much more intense to stop right beforehand; squeezing below the glans is effective for this, just as it sometimes is for stopping a premature ejaculation. Get feedback, and when he seems close, slow down...make it build. More often than not, a 20 minute session will be much more intense for him than a 5 minute one.

As with real estate, location is also key. Sometimes transitioning from the hands to placing it between your cleavage moves it from a pleasurable activity to an Old Faithful event in the space of a few seconds. Same goes if he is into bellies, feet, etc.. You could say that it no longer becomes an HJ at this point, but again, just ideas.


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## snuggletiger (Jul 23, 2007)

Why do women who dump you suddenly call you back like nothing happened?


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## Tina (Jul 24, 2007)

No answer to that, snuggle. Seems like odd behavior to me. Like you didn't notice, or forgot that she broke up with you, or something?  I think I'd head for the hills.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 24, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> Why do women who dump you suddenly call you back like nothing happened?




Men have done this to me a lot in my lifetime.... so perhaps you could ask some of your guy friends?


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## Waxwing (Jul 24, 2007)

This is a great thread. I was just thinking, though, that we should ask questions about the same sex as well. Because I *also* like the ladies (say "the ladies" in smooth R&B voice), but I always feel awkward around women I'm interested in. 

With men for me it feels instinctual, at least at this point. Women make me fluttery and stupid. I feel like my game doesn't work quite as well on women. Maybe it's just nervousness. Dunno.


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## BeaBea (Jul 24, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> Why do women who dump you suddenly call you back like nothing happened?



Ummm, is it so we can engineer a meeting with you, entice you into making a move and then go all huffy with a big speech about 'boundaries' ?

Seriously, I suspect it's guilt on the part of the person doing the dumping, a desire to somehow still be seen as a good person and also (possibly) a tiny indication that things aren't going too well in singledom or with the new partner?

Sorry if it happened to you though, not good 

Tracey xx


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## Ivy (Jul 25, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> Why do women who dump you suddenly call you back like nothing happened?



multiple personalties or they miss the dickin'.


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## SamanthaNY (Jul 25, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> Why do women who dump you suddenly call you back like nothing happened?


For those lacking empathy, manipulation gives a mental hard-on.


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## snuggletiger (Jul 25, 2007)

Again comes the question, why do women feel the need to always play headgames?


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## The Obstreperous Ms. J (Jul 25, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> Again comes the question, why do women feel the need to always play headgames?



Boredom.


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## snuggletiger (Jul 25, 2007)

I'd be more then happy to introduce a lady to a more constructive hobby, like knitting, card playing, dominoes, welding, carpentry, painting, baking, anything but trying to make my life miserable.


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## Jes (Jul 25, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Men have done this to me a lot in my lifetime.... so perhaps you could ask some of your guy friends?



right?




pants.


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## SamanthaNY (Jul 25, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> Again comes the question, why do women feel the need to always play headgames?



1) See post 287.
2) It keeps a relationship - even one already ended - alive, in some sense. Fighting and arguing is still.... contact. 
3) Avoids any facing of responsibility and accepting of consequences or truth.
4) Fulfills the need to feel powerful and in control. 
5) People keep coming back for the same treatment. 

It's not exclusive to gender, btw.


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## The Obstreperous Ms. J (Jul 25, 2007)

snuggletiger said:


> Again comes the question, why do women feel the need to always play headgames?



Maybe the other "head games" were not worth the trouble, and decided to f*ck with something else.  

I was going to write a diatribe about it, but Samantha beat me to it.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 25, 2007)

SamanthaNY said:


> It's not exclusive to gender, btw.



I agree and I also feel the need to add that some men need to be introduced to a more constructive hobby, like knitting (please see Spanky ), card playing, dominoes, welding, carpentry, painting, baking, anything but trying to make the lives of others miserable all for an ego-boost.


Plus a hard-working, handy type of guy turns me on more than a big dick.... just saying.


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## Ample Pie (Jul 25, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> This is a great thread. I was just thinking, though, that we should ask questions about the same sex as well. Because I *also* like the ladies (say "the ladies" in smooth R&B voice), but I always feel awkward around women I'm interested in.
> 
> With men for me it feels instinctual, at least at this point. Women make me fluttery and stupid. I feel like my game doesn't work quite as well on women. Maybe it's just nervousness. Dunno.




Well, I prefaced this thread by saying that the same sex type questions should be asked too 

Also I feel just exactly like you do--more nervous around the womens.


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## Violet_Beauregard (Jul 25, 2007)

EVERYTHING!!!!!!!





Rebecca said:


> ...... "what you've always wanted to know about the opposite sex ......"........ (snipped)


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## RedVelvet (Jul 25, 2007)

Les Toil said:


> Quite a ways back I used to date a woman that had a habit of putting her hand down her pants and slipping a finger or two into her "genitalia" and pulling it up for a whiff to assess the funk of her flower. I mean she'd do this in the middle of a conversation with me, while reading a book, while watching TV, etc... as if she wasn't even conscious of the act. On the one hand (no pun intended) the gesture seemed infinitely more guyish than us guys grabbing our crotches for no reason (which I've never done nor can I claim I've seen before). On the other hand it seemed like an extremely feminine gesture because she was always making sure Miss Puss smelled clean.
> 
> A show of hands. How many woman here have this same particular habit?




I....I....I'm dazzled. whoa.....Just reading that made me uncomfortable. And I am EXTREMELY uninhibited.


No........I just bathe 2 to 3 times a day, period.

Gah.


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## Waxwing (Jul 25, 2007)

Rebecca said:


> Well, I prefaced this thread by saying that the same sex type questions should be asked too
> 
> Also I feel just exactly like you do--more nervous around the womens.


 
Do you see what problems my illiteracy is causing? Sorry I missed that you said that. 

So do you tend to approach women in the same way? Because I just can't. I guess I'm afraid that they'll see right through it.


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## RedVelvet (Jul 25, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> Women make me fluttery and stupid. I feel like my game doesn't work quite as well on women. Maybe it's just nervousness. Dunno.



Wanna know why?

It DOESN'T, sugar....women go for different game entirely.

Tho...tell you what.

If a woman is nervous around me? As in...I know she likes me? Thats so hot.....soooooooo hot. So, maybe this lack of game works in your favor.


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## Waxwing (Jul 25, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> If a woman is nervous around me? As in...I know she likes me? Thats so hot.....soooooooo hot. So, maybe this lack of game works in your favor.



Then my game is unbeatable.


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## RedVelvet (Jul 25, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> Then my game is unbeatable.




Exactly....I mean..whats cuter for a scary thing like myself than some little fluttery crushed out girl?

HOT.

Makes me want to snatch her up and do terrible things to her...


(OK..Maybe I have more Domina in me than I care to admit..)


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## Waxwing (Jul 25, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> (OK..Maybe I have more Domina in me than I care to admit..)



And that is so ok with me.


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## mossystate (Jul 25, 2007)

*sweeps around them.. and mutters..get a room*


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## RedVelvet (Jul 25, 2007)

mossystate said:


> *sweeps around them.. and mutters..get a room*



AHAHAHHAAH.....hey now...we were speaking PURELY metaphorically.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 25, 2007)

mossystate said:


> *sweeps around them.. and mutters..get a room*



Don't be jealous, Monique... you know I want you  :kiss2: :wubu:


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## mossystate (Jul 25, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Don't be jealous, Monique... you know I want you  :kiss2: :wubu:



IS THERE A MOD IN THE HOUSE.. THIS WOMAN IS MAKING ME VERY UNCOMFORTABLE



damn pervs are taking over this place


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 25, 2007)

mossystate said:


> IS THERE A MOD IN THE HOUSE.. THIS WOMAN IS MAKING ME VERY UNCOMFORTABLE
> 
> 
> 
> damn pervs are taking over this place





Oh, just be honest and admit you know I'm really after you for your shoes  :kiss2:


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## RedVelvet (Jul 25, 2007)

mossystate said:


> IS THERE A MOD IN THE HOUSE.. THIS WOMAN IS MAKING ME VERY UNCOMFORTABLE
> 
> 
> 
> damn pervs are taking over this place




I resemble that re....oh.........I wont.

Sorry Monique.

Take comfort in the fact that 90% of them are playing at it. Or more.


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## Les Toil (Jul 25, 2007)

Why is it when we get out of an unhealthy relationship with someone it's called getting out of an unhealthy relationship, but when someone gets out of an unhealthy relationship with *us* we call it being dumped?

The reason I ask is because I've been on both sides of the break-up fence. As the _dumpee_ I very much DID feel dumped. But when I was the _dumper_, I felt I was putting an end to a miserable relationship that was losing love and respect by the minute.


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## mossystate (Jul 25, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> I resemble that re....oh.........I wont.
> 
> Sorry Monique.
> 
> Take comfort in the fact that 90% of them are playing at it. Or more.




I know...I wish I could find a real perv.


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## mossystate (Jul 25, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Oh, just be honest and admit you know I'm really after you for your shoes  :kiss2:



 I am one woman not obsessed with shoes..so..I hope you like the basics...


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## RedVelvet (Jul 25, 2007)

mossystate said:


> I know...I wish I could find a real perv.



(jumping up and down)...

Oh....that's male....right..


(slinking away..)


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