# FA Myhts Thread #17



## Jon Blaze (Dec 6, 2012)

*"FAs date big people to avoid sex/have a non sexual relationship." *

For me, this is taking the whole belief that all we care about is personality myth to a ridiculously high level. They project what they think is a similar view on attractiveness.


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## Nordiques (Dec 6, 2012)

It really just highlights the lengths that people will go to avoid viewpoints different from their own. They let their ideas shape their experiences, rather than letting their experiences shape their ideas. A similar myth is the "hiding homosexuality" one and it's just as off-base. Physical attraction is very individualized, and yet people want to apply a general standard of "everyone should like what I like." The same people probably would then complain about having too much competition!


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## sarahe543 (Dec 6, 2012)

there can be a lot of creativity and tenderness and mutual respect required for sex with larger bodies. Too much thinking for the wham bam mainstream mentality.


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## Tad (Dec 6, 2012)

I suspect that this is a myth which could occasionally be true. Some people with very low to no interest in sex may tend to end up with partners who will settle for an emotionally loving relationship, even if it doesn't have much of a sexual component....and sometimes the people willing to settle will be fat people. 

I'm not saying that this is the case with most couples where one partner is fat, or that when one partner has little interest in sex they'll always end up with a fat partner, but I'm sure you can find cases of this.


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## bbwlibrarian (Dec 6, 2012)

Tad said:


> I suspect that this is a myth which could occasionally be true. Some people with very low to no interest in sex may tend to end up with partners who will settle for an emotionally loving relationship, even if it doesn't have much of a sexual component....and sometimes the people willing to settle will be fat people.



...which is not to be confused with an FA that has a very low sex drive but, generally speaking, likes to have that occasional bit of naked time with a fat person.

The layers of it all.


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## Tad (Dec 7, 2012)

bbwlibrarian said:


> ...which is not to be confused with an FA that has a very low sex drive but, generally speaking, likes to have that occasional bit of naked time with a fat person.
> 
> The layers of it all.



For sure. All relationships are unique to the people involved, so categories and stereotypes always break down as you approach the individual level.


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## Jon Blaze (Dec 10, 2012)

Tad said:


> For sure. All relationships are unique to the people involved, so categories and stereotypes always break down as you approach the individual level.



Wise post.


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## Webmaster (Dec 10, 2012)

"FAs date big people to avoid sex/have a non sexual relationship." ---- That one I've never heard. And I'd say that if there are folks who feel that way, they cannot possibly be FAs.


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## azerty (Dec 11, 2012)

Webmaster said:


> "FAs date big people to avoid sex/have a non sexual relationship." ---- That one I've never heard. And I'd say that if there are folks who feel that way, they cannot possibly be FAs.



You've said it : so true.


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## ODFFA (Dec 11, 2012)

sarahe543 said:


> there can be a lot of creativity and tenderness and mutual respect required for sex with larger bodies. Too much thinking for the wham bam mainstream mentality.



This can be very true - again, not across the board of course, but I think you make a brilliant observation.

This myth in general is one that I've encountered in the minds of non-FAs before and it's one of the few that actually make me a bit angry. Most others I just shrug off, but I really don't like the totally patronising message this sends to larger people and their partners.

As Tad said, there are sure to be cases of this, but it shouldn't just be assumed across the board.


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## Artemisia (Jan 13, 2013)

The myth seems to be from a very non-FA perspective: people who just 'don't get' how others can find fat bodies sexy, so they assume that anyone dating a fat person must must be doing so for non-sexual reasons.

Another instance of the fatphobic perspective projecting itself onto everyone and everything else. It doesn't help that it's constantly reinforced by a fatphobic culture and media.


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