# Breast Cancer



## Theatrmuse/Kara (May 15, 2011)

Now that I am a survivor of breast cancer, I realize how many women I have come in contact with over the last year dealing with this issue. It is something that we don't like to talk about........esp. within a community such as here in Dimensions where large woman's breasts are revered with such enthusiasm.

I thought that perhaps it is time for those of us who now are semi-breast less or totally breastfree due to mastectomy speak about some of the new issues.............what's on your mind? 

For me, I am finding it very difficult to feel as womanly and sexual as I have previous to surgery. It is my own choice (because of some healing difficulties I seem to have) to not have reconstructive surgery......or even wear prosthetics. It just is not for me. I have worked hard in my journey to be an authentic person. What you see is what you get. However, over the years, my breasts were an important part of who I was and I am now on a different journey.

So, if any of you want to comment or ask questions or just discuss. Let's do it. The double mastectomy saved my life.........and THAT is the most important thing to me and my friends and family.

Any thoughts? Comments? I cannot be the only one that has gone through breast cancer and its' aftermath.
Hugs, Kara (the same woman just looking a bit different now.)


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## mossystate (May 15, 2011)

I don't have anything to add right now except to say that I am really glad you are here.


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## Theatrmuse/Kara (May 16, 2011)

Thanks, Mossy. I guess I have just scared others away from this thread. LOL!

It is difficult to even think about if it has never happened to you or someone you love. I thought that it would bring up a discussion about "What if?" or "My Mom did..." or "I believe if it happens to me, I would....." The sad truth is that I was in chemo with some very young women barely 20, some in their 30s, most were 40 or above.

Must be too much to think about. Hugs, Kara


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## moore2me (May 16, 2011)

Theatrmuse/Kara said:


> Now that I am a survivor of breast cancer, I realize how many women I have come in contact with over the last year dealing with this issue. It is something that we don't like to talk about........esp. within a community such as here in Dimensions where large woman's breasts are revered with such enthusiasm.
> 
> I thought that perhaps it is time for those of us who now are semi-breast less or totally breastfree due to mastectomy speak about some of the new issues.............what's on your mind?
> 
> ...



Kara Dear -
More hugs and healing power I am sending you girl! I have not been in your shoes, but some of my family members have been thru breast cancer and breast removal. Like you, neither elected to have reconstruction. 

For myself, I know a little bit about the terror the word "cancer" can instill. Years ago, my gyno (based on scans, symptoms & other tests) told me she wanted to do exploratory surgery (before laparoscopy's development) on my ovaries & a few other parts. She thought it might be cancer and suggested that even if it was not - that I should go ahead and get "the ovaries, tubes, uterus" taken out so the surgical risk would only have to be faced once.

Two days later I was surgically castrated, told it wasn't cancer and three days later, sent home. I was in my late 30's. Welcome to menopause. I completely understand what you said about not feeling like a woman. Heck, I started to think I was useless as a female - gutted like an old catfish. I realized my sentence included no babies and that made my grief worse - in fact I went into a sort of mourning that lasted almost a year. I did not do well with hormone pills, so most was cold turkey.

And most recently, I have had a close call when a mammogram came back positive and I needed a needle biopsy - which turned out negative. But in my "never ending basket of luck" , during the biopsy they nicked an artery which bled slowly and quietly into my skin. I went home and woke up the next morning with a breast the color of an eggplant and the size of a small watermelon. It amazed all the medical providers who saw it - I really enjoy being the subject of medical tests gone horribly wrong demonstrations. 

One of these days, I expect to be reading a medical journal and see my picture - and it better have a black strip over my eyes or someone is going to play vendetta with hogzilla. (I am not making light of your serious cancer surgery, but it helps to joke about what you cannot change and it also helps to find a positive way to deal with the bad things that life throws at us.) Drugs help too if necessary. However, positive frame of mind is not something that comes easy in such a situation. You go thru anger, grief, and then maybe acceptance of losing a breast or something dear to you. This can go back and forth for days, weeks, even years. Getting well physically is difficult but getting well mentally is sometimes harder - people around you can't see what's wrong and think you're well. Losing your breasts or like me your sexual identity is losing part of your soul. It would be like a man losing his penis - yes, it's that important to our ego or id.


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## EMH1701 (May 16, 2011)

My mother had breast cancer and passed away from it when I was a teenager. Most of my body issues stem from her as she was very fat-phobic, and highly religious to boot. I've spent 25 years trying to accept myself and believe that yes, I am good enough.

Breast cancer is something I am extremely afraid of and is one reason I have done the fad dieting in the past. You have mass media as well as doctors telling you that if you are not at your govt. recommended BMI and get breast cancer, it is automatically Your Fault. We have this blame the victim mentality in our culture now and it will only get worse for fat people, I think, if the Obama health care package is fully implemented. I'm actually fiscally conservative, socially moderate. But I'm afraid how much worse the discrimination is going to get if we go to a national health care system.

I realize now that I will never be skinny, but I do eat my fruits and veggies and exercise when it's nice out. In Minnesota, that can sometimes be a crap shoot.


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## Miss Vickie (May 17, 2011)

Kara, you are so very brave, not only to fight this fight, but also to be brave enough to talk about it. I don't have any personal experience with it, but imagine it must be incredibly difficult for women to deal with. Our breasts are so much part of our identity as women -- how could you not feel differently about yourself and your sexuality?

Are there support groups that you're part of, and if so how have others dealt with this? I suppose it takes an entire overhaul over how you feel about what makes you feel feminine. Breasts are just part of that, but admittedly a significant one. 

My only advice is what I'd tell any of us fighting an illness: take time for you, for your emotional well being, to reconnect with your body in a positive way.

Hugs to you, dear.


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## Theatrmuse/Kara (May 18, 2011)

Thank you all for sharing together. Vickie.......as always.........you add the best words of wisdom.......oh and I am not so brave.....just damn stubborn to continue life to the fullest.

And we won't even get to how I feel with my former long tresses now being about two inches long after being bald a few months...........also finally seeing my REAL color after all these years! I am now officially salt and pepper.........kinda sassy, actually! Hey, I earned all these white hairs!

Again, hang in there guys..........we are all in this together.
Hugs, Kara


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## Miss Vickie (May 18, 2011)

Thanks, Kara. I guess my experiences have given me some insights that can't be learned in school. But on a lighter note, sassy hair is good. It matches your sassy self. And I'm all for you being stubborn and wanting to kick cancer's butt and be here a nice, long time.

Keep on, keepin' on. You're doing the hard part but you have a hell of a cheering section.


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## imfree (May 18, 2011)

I don't really have anything relevant to add, other than to praise you for being the kind and loving person that you are and the gentle strength that comes from being such a person. You rock, Kara!


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