# Internet Dating: Crazy First Messages



## LovelyLiz (Apr 21, 2010)

I got a message today on POF that made me think of some of the totally ridiculous/tasteless/hilarious initial contacts my friends and I sometimes get on internet dating sites. It makes no sense to me that someone could say some of these things, and actually expect a woman to reply! Insane.

So I thought it might be funny for us to copy and paste some of these first messages that some of us (women and men!) may get from time to time, just to laugh, and to learn some valuable lessons about internet dating. 

I don't have a really great one to start out with, I usually just delete them, so I'll just post the one from today that prompted this thread. This one isn't so much funny, as just tasteless. But it will have to do for now. 

"you have with out a doubt some very hot and perfect boobs ive ever seen. they look great. the picture of you in red and blue they look so damn good. hit me up if your up for chatting."

Classy. How are you still single, man?

_Lesson: Do not mention someone's boobs in your first message._

And another one, for good measure. This one is from the "I lie and am also too lazy to compose a different message for every girl I send a message to" type. I love the first line, how he can't even bother to put in my age and just says "age as said on your profile." HILARIOUS.

"Hi, You look so innocent and younger than *your age as said on your profile *couldn't help saying Hi, I love to get acquainted to you if you don't mind . How often do you smile I love to laugh, and I am a bit of an extrovert myself Presently I am working on a contract in Aberdeen Scotland, hope to return soon my job is kinda demanding but I still have time for my loved ones I have a daughters I love so much. I'm a widower I lost my wife an African America some years ago to cancer I have been a lonely man since then how about you?, I will be really obliged to have correspondence with you I am very easy going with dreams and inspiration for the future life is too short to toy with I don't have time for games.........."

_Lesson: Go ahead and put forth the effort to write a unique message to each girl you're interested in. It's not that hard._


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## Nutty (Apr 21, 2010)

wow ahahahaha those are hilarious!


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## spiritangel (Apr 21, 2010)

there is always the classic

"got any pics of you naked?"

I think that one is such a turn off


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## LovelyLiz (Apr 21, 2010)

True. I guess the upside is that in these cases it's so easy to separate the wheat from the chaff.


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## spiritangel (Apr 21, 2010)

there is also the very creepy things like "If you were mine Id never let you go" when you barely know the person, how do you get all that from one picture of me lol

I am sure there are more classics but I have cleaned them out of my facebook inbox


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## CastingPearls (Apr 21, 2010)

Ummmm....it's been a few years but I recall a few:

Marry me.

I am working on an agricultural project and need financial support and you have beautiful breasts and can you help me with a visa? (one sentence)

I'm really not into big women but you intrigue me (then what are you doing subscribing to a BBW specific personals mag?)

I have to be up front that I am married but my wife is totally understanding of my 'special' needs. (special?)


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## jdsumm (Apr 21, 2010)

Ok, I just got this one today:

_"I require a submissive a woman who just wants to have one thing on her mind behind closed doors for moments of hot passionate stimulation that like wearing erotic clothing (lingerie ,stockings ,leather high heels or boots)....i have had enough of the long term relationship & marriage situation to last me a lifetime if you're looking for those two things then you need not look my way."_

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY??? Apparently he did not bother to read ANY of my profile. 

The one message I really found the craziest, so far (which I posted on a thread around here somewhere before) was the guy who after 2 sentences of sweet talking me about what he liked about my pic and profile said this:

_"I want to suck your toes and paint them blue, red or black will do, but I prefer blue."_

I am really curious to know if these guys actually get dates with messages like these. I know they have all but convinced me to not look for dates online. I still read the messages though....just in case the needle in the haystack shows up.


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## littlefairywren (Apr 21, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> I got a message today on POF that made me think of some of the totally ridiculous/tasteless/hilarious initial contacts my friends and I sometimes get on internet dating sites. It makes no sense to me that someone could say some of these things, and actually expect a woman to reply! Insane.
> 
> So I thought it might be funny for us to copy and paste some of these first messages that some of us (women and men!) may get from time to time, just to laugh, and to learn some valuable lessons about internet dating.
> 
> ...



That there - the "I am working far from home, dead wife (always cancer), and I have a child or children to support"........drives me insane. I have had so many of these that is is laughable. I finally lost my patience with the last one, and told him that I get so many messages from scammers with the same story. He got aggro then, and offered to show me pictures of his dead wife. YES, dead wife in her coffin...from the funeral. Classy!


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## CastingPearls (Apr 21, 2010)

OMG one guy conveniently FORGOT he had a wife until midway through our first coffee-date. I knew he had kids so I asked him if he had any pics and he handed me one of the ENTIRE FAMILY. I said, 'Oh....is this your ex?' and he said, 'Oh.....um.....'

Yeah. I got a million of 'em.


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## Jon Blaze (Apr 21, 2010)

Ay......
I sent two messages there when I was single.
One was a response, and the other was "Regardless of if I ever get to meet: You are stunning!" Not LOL BEWBS


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## BigBeautifulMe (Apr 22, 2010)

Subscribing! I got some doozies when I was single and using POF and OKCupid.


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## Pear320 (Apr 22, 2010)

I usually take the silly (insincere) messages with a grain of salt, but this one stood out as it was "confusing" .. a little insulting .. AND hilarious at the same time! 

It went something like this:

"Hi, i like ur photo. Ur kinda pretty for an old lady. Think you'd have a prob fitting in a 97 Ford Escort?"


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## littlefairywren (Apr 22, 2010)

Pear320 said:


> I usually take the silly (insincere) messages with a grain of salt, but this one stood out as it was "confusing" .. a little insulting .. AND hilarious at the same time!
> 
> It went something like this:
> 
> "Hi, i like ur photo. Ur kinda pretty for an old lady. Think you'd have a prob fitting in a 97 Ford Escort?"



OMG that is hilarious....hahaha, way to go Mr Smooth


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## BigBeautifulMe (Apr 22, 2010)

OH wait. I remember one!

The sole content of his message was "I'm interest"

I wrote him back "who asked if you were?" Yeah, I know, bitchy.  LOL. 

If I'd thought about it more I would have said "compound or variable?"


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## CastingPearls (Apr 22, 2010)

Pear320 said:


> I usually take the silly (insincere) messages with a grain of salt, but this one stood out as it was "confusing" .. a little insulting .. AND hilarious at the same time!
> 
> It went something like this:
> 
> "Hi, i like ur photo. Ur kinda pretty for an old lady. Think you'd have a prob fitting in a 97 Ford Escort?"


That just made me spray iced tea out of my nose.


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## LovelyLiz (Apr 22, 2010)

jdsumm said:


> Ok, I just got this one today:
> 
> _"I require a submissive a woman who just wants to have one thing on her mind behind closed doors for moments of hot passionate stimulation that like wearing erotic clothing (lingerie ,stockings ,leather high heels or boots)....i have had enough of the long term relationship & marriage situation to last me a lifetime if you're looking for those two things then you need not look my way."_
> 
> ...



HA HA HA! Yes. I love the ones you directly cut and pasted - those ones with all the details are THE BEST. 

This compare and contrast your clueless/creepy emails game is fun. 

These are the guys who never read profiles. I have it very clear in my profile (probably like many of us) that I'm not just looking for a casual hook-up, and yet, the number of messages that say "hey, wanna hook up? i'm awake right now - here's my number" are astounding.

Keep 'em coming ladies and gents!


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## LovelyLiz (Apr 22, 2010)

Pear320 said:


> I usually take the silly (insincere) messages with a grain of salt, but this one stood out as it was "confusing" .. a little insulting .. AND hilarious at the same time!
> 
> It went something like this:
> 
> "Hi, i like ur photo. Ur kinda pretty for an old lady. Think you'd have a prob fitting in a 97 Ford Escort?"



So you went out with him in his Escort, right? I mean, how could you turn down such a kind, respectful offer?


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## BeautifulBigD (Apr 22, 2010)

When I was on POF, I used to get stupid messages; such as...
"It's my birthday, how about you meet me for some birthday sex?"
"I'm interesting on you. Want to cuddle in the couch." (Said that exact way)
"I'm not a very sensitive guy, but I've got a huge penis"

Some men are so classy


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## Pear320 (Apr 22, 2010)

littlefairywren said:


> OMG that is hilarious....hahaha, way to go Mr Smooth



LOL I wonder where he went to charm school!


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## Pear320 (Apr 22, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> That just made me spray iced tea out of my nose.




I have to say I'm still laughing over it .. I would have answered him if I hadn't been so "stupified" by his approach!


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## Pear320 (Apr 22, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> So you went out with him in his Escort, right? I mean, how could you turn down such a kind, respectful offer?



Well, even though it was a REALLY painful decision, I did turn him down. lol


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## spiritangel (Apr 22, 2010)

funniest for me of late was my first chat with someone 

and I asked them what they did for a living got an answer asked if he liked his job and he said no and I asked what his dream job was 

wait for it ladies

"Porn Star" some other answer "no pornstar"

and apparently any man who diddnt say the same was lying cause it was every man's dream job

he got removed from the friends list quick smart

so did the guy who when talking about cuddles and I innocently without thinking said Kisses are good too who then went into great deatain about wanting to "tongue kiss me" hmmmmm 

I think it takes enormous courage to approach a stranger but omg at least wait till you have known me more than 5 minutes before these things lol


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## Carrie (Apr 22, 2010)

Oooooh. I'm kicking myself for deleting my dating profile a few weeks ago, because now I can't give you the exact wording of one of my favorite "intro" emails ever. It was something along the lines of, "Well, you're older than I'd like, and bigger, but we live nearby, so I guess I'm willing to give you a try." 

Geography can be so romantic. :smitten:


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## Jes (Apr 22, 2010)

I got one in which the guy talked about my photo. But I was delighted with his idea for a nice get together:
_I want to t.f. them_

Now, I knew immediately, IMMEDIATELY, that he was saying titty fuck, even though that's not the most common thing to say, nor overly obvious from t.f. But I just knew, almost in real time. And I reported him and he was removed.

I don't think most of these guys are serious, at all. Most men seem not to read our ads, and most have no intention of getting together (for reasons already stated--married, in a different state, criminally insane). But these men like to have fantasy lives, they like to say things they'd never say in public and they live to abuse and control. Creepy.

ps: my profile photo is one of me, in a shirt and a windbreaker, at a Walk-A-Thon event. You can't really even tell I HAVE boobs. But I do feel better knowing that a random stranger would like to t.f. whatever I have on my chest. Comforting.


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## Carrie (Apr 22, 2010)

Jes said:


> I got one in which the guy talked about my photo. But I was delighted with his idea for a nice get together:
> _I want to t.f. them_
> 
> Now, I knew immediately, IMMEDIATELY, that he was saying titty fuck, even though that's not the most common thing to say, nor overly obvious from t.f. But I just knew, almost in real time.


Or maybe he wanted to tapioca.flan. them? 





I thought of titty fuck immediately, too.


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## LovelyLiz (Apr 22, 2010)

littlefairywren said:


> That there - the "I am working far from home, dead wife (always cancer), and I have a child or children to support"........drives me insane. I have had so many of these that is is laughable. I finally lost my patience with the last one, and told him that I get so many messages from scammers with the same story. He got aggro then, and offered to show me pictures of his dead wife. YES, dead wife in her coffin...from the funeral. Classy!



HA! See, I'm glad to know there are a whole lot of us dealing with the international, grieving men and providing them with all the comfort and support they need. You do send him cash when he asks for it too, right? I mean he NEEDS it! For his sad little child!



Carrie said:


> Or maybe he wanted to tapioca.flan. them?
> 
> 
> I thought of titty fuck immediately, too.



Don't knock the tapioca-flanning until you've tried it. Badass. (And yeah, I knew was tf was right away too...high five!)


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## Jes (Apr 22, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Don't knock the tapioca-flanning until you've tried it. Badass. (And yeah, I knew was tf was right away too...high five!)



well with me, it's more like low ten, but that's gravity's fault.

anyway, i think he wasn't even local to me. Now how you gonna TF me from upstate NY? I mean, it's not like he was planning on actually meeting me. That's the weird part. It always seems like flashing, to me. The shock value. They want to pull their dicks out and make us look, but that's it. It can feel like an assault.

I wish I'd kept some of the crazier stuff...I'll have to take a look.


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## Carrie (Apr 22, 2010)

Jes said:


> anyway, i think he wasn't even local to me. Now how you gonna TF me from upstate NY? I mean, it's not like he was planning on actually meeting me. That's the weird part. It always seems like flashing, to me. The shock value. They want to pull their dicks out and make us look, but that's it. It can feel like an assault.


I agree with you there. I get the very strong sense that most of the men on the dating sites I've used were not there looking for an actual date, but more of a cyber playmate/pen pal/peepshow participant. In fairness, I can't comment on the women, so who knows? They may be just the same.


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## LovelyLiz (Apr 22, 2010)

Jes said:


> well with me, it's more like low ten, but that's gravity's fault.
> 
> anyway, i think he wasn't even local to me. Now how you gonna TF me from upstate NY? I mean, it's not like he was planning on actually meeting me. That's the weird part. It always seems like flashing, to me. The shock value. They want to pull their dicks out and make us look, but that's it. It can feel like an assault.
> 
> I wish I'd kept some of the crazier stuff...I'll have to take a look.



If he can TF you from upstate NY, that dude is a KEEPER with a capital K.


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## Jes (Apr 22, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> If he can TF you from upstate NY, that dude is a KEEPER with a capital K.



and yet somehow still a CREEPER with a capital C!


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## Webmaster (Apr 22, 2010)

Punctuation, capitalization, and breaking text into logical paragraphs appear to be lost arts. How will some of those folks ever get a job?


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## Jes (Apr 22, 2010)

I made contact with a guy through the Dims Matching System. He sent me this nutty diatribe about what he wanted in a woman, and what he thought relationships should be like, etc. etc. And it was ... a manifesto. It was SCREENS long with parts EMPHASIZED LIKE THIS and about 400 parenthetical qualifiers (like this, explaining everything he said down to the a super granular level) and on and on. He was a MARINE and he felt it was IMPORTANT (in that this is how it should be) for the MAN to be the MAN (namely, the head of the household) and the WOMAN to be the WOMAN (namely, important in her own right, but not more important than the husband) and blah blah blah blah blah. It went on like that for PAGES.

I was honestly frightened of him. He did veer into the 'I am trained to use weapons' and 'I will not be pushed around' rhetoric that's NOT charming. The whole thing screamed Michigan Militia and I was sad he had my email address.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 22, 2010)

Jes said:


> I made contact with a guy through the Dims Matching System. He sent me this nutty diatribe about what he wanted in a woman, and what he thought relationships should be like, etc. etc. And it was ... a manifesto. It was SCREENS long with parts EMPHASIZED LIKE THIS and about 400 parenthetical qualifiers (like this, explaining everything he said down to the a super granular level) and on and on. He was a MARINE and he felt it was IMPORTANT (in that this is how it should be) for the MAN to be the MAN (namely, the head of the household) and the WOMAN to be the WOMAN (namely, important in her own right, but not more important than the husband) and blah blah blah blah blah. It went on like that for PAGES.
> 
> I was honestly frightened of him. He did veer into the 'I am trained to use weapons' and 'I will not be pushed around' rhetoric that's NOT charming. The whole thing screamed Michigan Militia and I was sad he had my email address.


ROTF--did he mention that he knew 200 ways to kill people and one of them was being a colossal bore?


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## Gingembre (Apr 22, 2010)

"hey red is your hair natural i mean do you have ginger pubes?"

What a charmer!


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## CastingPearls (Apr 22, 2010)

Gingembre said:


> "hey red is your hair natural i mean do you have ginger pubes?"
> 
> What a charmer!


These guys ooze class. 

Any BHM's have any good ones?


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## Littleghost (Apr 23, 2010)

I don't think guys get the "romantic" ones so much as "encouragement". I got this baffling message to a standard profile:

"wow ur weird lol well good luck!"

I have it printed out with an inspiring photo on my wall.


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## thatgirl08 (Apr 23, 2010)

okcupid - You accepted my Facebook friend request today. 

(I hadn't.)

another okc - wow u have so many poercings that turns me on

I also this beauty on ff today - my name is claes from sweden i like to sea your fat body can you be fatter how many pizzas can you eating


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## Your Plump Princess (Apr 23, 2010)

I don't remember what site I was a part of.
But I kept getting messages from guys saying they want to have sex with my rolls.


I was like "....Wow. "


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## truebebeblue (Apr 23, 2010)

I thought being pregnant would calm the pervs down... Not so much.


"Would you be interested in a hung boytoy?! "

"you are sexy " 


"i wish u was closer i love bbw "

"Hey whats up, just wanted to say that your sexy and I would like to meet you sometime, Ill pay a plane ticket to come see you sometime Iv'e never been in arizona before Iv'e heard its hot as hell and alot of fun. You have nice tits, so what do you like to do? whats your favorite foods and your sexual fetishes? hit me back..."

"i like your profile and pic do you like cowboys with big ***** i have a * and ahalf inches long call me 1-222-***-**** my cell bob"

*And this one I actually responded to!*


"Are you a midget?
You look cute in your pic so Im wondering why you havent met a guy in the real world. Id like to talk to you more to make sure youre not a rabbit boiler."


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## Proner (Apr 23, 2010)

Gingembre said:


> "hey red is your hair natural i mean do you have ginger pubes?"
> 
> What a charmer!





Your Plump Princess said:


> I don't remember what site I was a part of.
> But I kept getting messages from guys saying they want to have sex with my rolls.
> 
> 
> I was like "....Wow. "



These guys are future George Clooney!
"Charm.... What Else?"


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## spiritangel (Apr 23, 2010)

hmmm love these guys who appear out of the blue on fb

you look so nice,i found you on bbw site,i am not bbw but dont like 0 size women,you look perfect

followed by

i have a foot fetish,do you think its weird?


and my answer delete delete delete lol, and crack up with laughter ironically he isnt an aussie thank goodness


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## Lamia (Apr 24, 2010)

I used to be on AOL back in the mid 90s some of my favorite lines were

"I like big girls they bruise easy"

"I want to bury you next to my trailer"

"I'd like to pretend to eat your flesh while we F#$"

oh and there was always some guy in dims chat who would say 

"Hi I just ate dinner...my pants are a little tight mind if I undo them" or something like that. He sent it to me everytime. I'm like how times a day do you eat dude!


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## LovelyLiz (Apr 24, 2010)

Littleghost said:


> I don't think guys get the "romantic" ones so much as "encouragement". I got this baffling message to a standard profile:
> 
> "wow ur weird lol well good luck!"
> 
> I have it printed out with an inspiring photo on my wall.



HA! At least it's nice to see that the lack of helpful punctuation is not a gender-specific phenomenon.


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## TallFatSue (Apr 24, 2010)

I'm married amd not looking, but I get some interesting pick-up lines anyway. My all-time favorite:

He: Hey baby, you have all them fat curves, you are so fine, can you help me?
Me: What's the problem?
He: I have this pressure and I need to release it.
Me: Go ahead and burp.
He: No it's lower than that.
Me: Then maybe you'd better open all the windows.
He: No it's in front.
Me: Sounds like you have more pressure than bubble wrap.
He: Yeah can you help me?
Me: Well, when I need to take care of bubble wrap I usually run over it several times with my desk chair.


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## Gingembre (Apr 24, 2010)

Lamia said:


> I used to be on AOL back in the mid 90s some of my favorite lines were
> 
> "I like big girls they bruise easy"
> 
> "I want to bury you next to my trailer"



Sliiiiiightly unnerved by these two!


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## calauria (Apr 25, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> Ummmm....it's been a few years but I recall a few:
> 
> Marry me.
> 
> ...



good golly day!!! there are some true idiots in this world!! i think i got a message just like tht one, by the way...i think i've gotten alllllll the ridiculous come on's there ever were!!! lol!!


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## calauria (Apr 25, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> OMG one guy conveniently FORGOT he had a wife until midway through our first coffee-date. I knew he had kids so I asked him if he had any pics and he handed me one of the ENTIRE FAMILY. I said, 'Oh....is this your ex?' and he said, 'Oh.....um.....'
> 
> Yeah. I got a million of 'em.



you know, we really should stop meeting and dating the same guys...maybe we should invest in some really potent idiot repellent!! lol!!!


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## calauria (Apr 25, 2010)

OOOHHHHHH!!! i forgot this one!! i got this one like 2 weeks ago..this guys tells me he wants to put his wee wong between my tits with some hot oil....i quietly purred my response, "mmmmmmmm.....that sounds nice." then i yelled really loudly, "WHAT THE HELLS WRONG WITH YOU? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MIND?!" lol!!!


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## CastingPearls (Apr 25, 2010)

Pitiful. His first mistake was describing it as 'wee'. After that it was the Titanic.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 25, 2010)

Idiots are clogging the gene pool. LOL


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## Jes (Apr 25, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> okcupid - You accepted my Facebook friend request today.
> 
> (I hadn't.)



i hope you weren't rude, and that you answered his question. How many pizzas CAN you eating, thatgirl?


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## CastingPearls (Apr 25, 2010)

Jes said:


> i hope you weren't rude, and that you answered his question. How many pizzas CAN you eating, thatgirl?


Yeah...I mean...that's a relevent question....he might work for Dominos or Pizza Hut and get really awesome discounts...MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA


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## DitzyBrunette (Apr 28, 2010)

I clearly state that the Holla, Yo, Mami, Ebonics thing is NOT acceptable and yet..
"hey lil mama how r you? I had noticed u from your page & I liked what I saw.u pretty and u got ya own style. i dig ya swagg tho,itz sexy. maybe I could holla at u so we could see what's good with each otha? if u feelin my pic get back at me"

I need a translator for this one.


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## Tau (Apr 28, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> I got a message today on POF that made me think of some of the totally ridiculous/tasteless/hilarious initial contacts my friends and I sometimes get on internet dating sites. It makes no sense to me that someone could say some of these things, and actually expect a woman to reply! Insane.
> 
> So I thought it might be funny for us to copy and paste some of these first messages that some of us (women and men!) may get from time to time, just to laugh, and to learn some valuable lessons about internet dating.
> 
> ...



Dude, the second one - I GOT THE EXACT SAME MESSAGE AT BBW CUPID!!lolololol!


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## Tau (Apr 28, 2010)

Littleghost said:


> I don't think guys get the "romantic" ones so much as "encouragement". I got this baffling message to a standard profile:
> 
> "wow ur weird lol well good luck!"
> 
> I have it printed out with an inspiring photo on my wall.



 Seriously - what is wrong with people!!


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## Tau (Apr 28, 2010)

Webmaster said:


> Punctuation, capitalization, and breaking text into logical paragraphs appear to be lost arts. How will some of those folks ever get a job?



Exactly! My little brother is 21 and he never, ever uses punctuation - EVER! I told him he'd never get a job because the first impression he creates are the emails he sends and his CV and if there are no capital letters and no punctuation prospective employers will think he's a moron! His response was: "Chill Sis. That's how we do."  I was speechless.


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## Tau (Apr 28, 2010)

truebebeblue said:


> I thought being pregnant would calm the pervs down... Not so much.
> 
> 
> "Would you be interested in a hung boytoy?! "
> ...



What on earth is a rabbit boiler???? I think that's my fave message so far!


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## Tau (Apr 28, 2010)

Recently memorable messages:

"Damn Mami! I will fuck you till you bleed!"

"Can you body handle 4 pregnancies in quick succession?"

"baby i lik ur swagg." 

What is swagg?? Also: ahahahahaha!


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## CastingPearls (Apr 28, 2010)

Tau said:


> Recently memorable messages:
> 
> "Damn Mami! I will fuck you till you bleed!"
> 
> ...


Oh good God....they just get worse and worse....


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## gobettiepurple (Apr 28, 2010)

*OMG, these were so classic! I wish I had saved some of my memorable ones so I could share, but I really don't have that many. 

I mean, if one more "vato" calls me his "chula" i am going to scream! grammar is a lost art, I totally want to be a teacher and I will have my work cut out for me!

Also, if I get one more picture of a certain part of the male anatomy, I am going to go ape s*#&! lol!

Do they really think that this sort of behavior is appropriate? Are there desperate girls out there that actually respond to such insanity?

Sometimes I get discouraged about dating, but I am glad to know that other women have standards in regards to courting and dating.

At least they are entertaining!

*


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## wrench13 (Apr 28, 2010)

I, too, want to know what a 'rabbit boiler' is!! 

Is it anything like a 'dutch oven' or a 'dirty sanchez'?


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## CastingPearls (Apr 28, 2010)

wrench13 said:


> I, too, want to know what a 'rabbit boiler' is!!
> 
> Is it anything like a 'dutch oven' or a 'dirty sanchez'?


The only rabbit boiler I can imagine brings to mind Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction who stalked Michael Douglas' character to the point of going to his home and throwing his child's pet rabbit in a boiling pot. So perhaps a 'rabbit boiler' is a psychotic scorned woman?


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## PamelaLois (Apr 29, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> The only rabbit boiler I can imagine brings to mind Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction who stalked Michael Douglas' character to the point of going to his home and throwing his child's pet rabbit in a boiling pot. So perhaps a 'rabbit boiler' is a psychotic scorned woman?



You are exactly correct!


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## truebebeblue (Apr 29, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> The only rabbit boiler I can imagine brings to mind Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction who stalked Michael Douglas' character to the point of going to his home and throwing his child's pet rabbit in a boiling pot. So perhaps a 'rabbit boiler' is a psychotic scorned woman?




yeah Im sure that's what he was referring to!


----------



## Slamaga (Apr 29, 2010)

gobettiepurple said:


> *OMG, these were so classic! I wish I had saved some of my memorable ones so I could share, but I really don't have that many.
> 
> I mean, if one more "vato" calls me his "chula" i am going to scream! grammar is a lost art, I totally want to be a teacher and I will have my work cut out for me!
> 
> ...



I must agree with your anger toward this kind of behavior. I think I got the answer about where do these men (because it is not a generality) pick their behavior... the clubs where you can have superficial girl and ton-muscled guys who don't know the drag rules and say a lot of disgusting things... Unless you can hear something there... you only see a big-muscled guy trying his chance. You wouldn't have let him a chance if you have known what he really said XD 

I know this is just silly but I wanted to release a little bit of anger I have about dating in clubs.

More seriously, I think that the society had evolved so much during the past years that men are lost when it comes to dating. Who has to begin first? What is correct to say? Is it even correct to try his or her chance? What do we say? So much questions together that makes disgusting words go out from the mind of the person.

Or maybe, we are in a speedy time society in which we don't have time for anything so dating results as a speed dating pattern. Show big muscles, say cute words, do it fast and get with the next one...

I think I'm getting sillier as I'm writing XD


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## littlefairywren (Apr 29, 2010)

Tau said:


> Recently memorable messages:
> 
> "Damn Mami! I will fuck you till you bleed!"
> 
> ...



Ok, either the first one is packing some serious equipment in his jocks, or is running on Eveready batteries. Either way, gross!

LOL, I love the second one. But why 4?


----------



## user 57017 (Apr 29, 2010)

These guys are class pure and simple. A few that made me.. quiver in delight:

"sorry i dont have a pic up yet but im repling to your post about what the one guy said sweety you dont have to lissen to them there are alot of people like me that love the way you look and sorry for being a bit volger but i would love to berry my face between your legs well hope to talk to you soon"

"whats up sexy this the king texting u I VE BEEN VERY BUSY RECENTLY TRYING TO BUILD MY EMPIRE I WOULD LIKE TO C SOME OF YOUR PICTURES SEND ME A TEXT WHEN U CAN. IN THE FUTURE I WILL TEXT MORE WITH U"

This last one was the quickest relationship of my life. It went from pure passion to hate within one day:

Him: "hi i was looking at you pictue you are a hot momma"
Me: "Well thanks, but I am definitely not a `momma`. "
Him: "hi what are you right now i think you look good i like big girl so i am get ready for bed"
--I spent about 10 minutes reading this over and over and I still have no idea what he was trying to say, so I never replied. Not even two hours later after not responding to his previous eloquent email I get this gem:
Subject: You are a asshole
my pot belly pig look better then you

Ah, the good ol' block feature. Imagine what online dating would be without it.


----------



## spiritangel (Apr 29, 2010)

oh my I am feeling very lucky atm that I havent gotten any of that 

did have a guy pm me on facebook, seemed totally harmless then the whole your soo hottttttttttttttt bet you have lots of guys telling you that, hehe wonder if he wanted me to say no cause I said erm a few lately and that was the last I heard from him 

no great loss hehe


----------



## DitzyBrunette (May 4, 2010)

"hi ... how you are you ... my
nam eis nate i live in n,j . i like to no you sweety ... i live in long
branch in n,j ....if you like you can.. call me or text me , i work in a
school... you look good sweety to me , hope you hit me , up .
you met like me ,call me at (loser's phone number here) or text me ,"

I better get right on calling this guy, he sounds like a winner!


----------



## CastingPearls (May 4, 2010)

DitzyBrunette said:


> "hi ... how you are you ... my
> nam eis nate i live in n,j . i like to no you sweety ... i live in long
> branch in n,j ....if you like you can.. call me or text me , i work in a
> school... you look good sweety to me , hope you hit me , up .
> ...


OMG!!! I get those all the time. Talk about comedic relief.


----------



## Nutty (May 4, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> Idiots are clogging the gene pool. LOL



My bad!


----------



## Nutty (May 4, 2010)

OMG chatroulette horrified me! I was trying it for the first time just for fun and for some reason all the people i tried chatting with were just jerks jerking off. WTF. I did not need that sort of shit. They should monitor that stuff!


----------



## Slamaga (May 4, 2010)

Nutty said:


> OMG chatroulette horrified me! I was trying it for the first time just for fun and for some reason all the people i tried chatting with were just jerks jerking off. WTF. I did not need that sort of shit. They should monitor that stuff!



XD chatroulette!!! Some of my friends tried this site and I heard all kind of strange, dirty and unexpected story. This is a proof of some men's stupidity I am so ashamed to know.:doh::doh::doh::doh::doh:


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## CastingPearls (May 4, 2010)

DitzyBrunette said:


> "hi ... how you are you ... my
> nam eis nate i live in n,j . i like to no you sweety ... i live in long
> branch in n,j ....if you like you can.. call me or text me , i work in a
> school... you look good sweety to me , hope you hit me , up .
> ...


Teh butchering ob da engrich langauge is SUCH a turn-on. MWAHAHAHAHAAA!


----------



## SoVerySoft (May 4, 2010)

Gotta admit - at least the guy below was honest. (He's in purple and I bolded the best stuff.)

Him: (4/30/2010 9:18:46 PM): how tall are you
Him: (4/30/2010 9:19:30 PM): how big are they lol
soverysoft1 (4/30/2010 9:20:02 PM): hmm
Him: (4/30/2010 9:20:08 PM): plz
soverysoft1 (4/30/2010 9:20:15 PM): ick
Him: (4/30/2010 9:20:29 PM): what
soverysoft1 (4/30/2010 9:20:35 PM): tacky
Him: (4/30/2010 9:20:50 PM): what that mean
soverysoft1 (4/30/2010 9:20:58 PM): it means no class.
Him: (4/30/2010 9:21:15 PM): who me
soverysoft1 (4/30/2010 9:21:16 PM): that's not something i want to discuss.
Him: (4/30/2010 9:21:31 PM): they nice
Him: (4/30/2010 9:21:37 PM): why
Him: (4/30/2010 9:21:44 PM): im just asking
soverysoft1 (4/30/2010 9:22:15 PM): and i'm saying it's not something i talk about before i know someone. and sometimes not ever.
Him: (4/30/2010 9:22:44 PM): you have good gift and lot man like that
soverysoft1 (4/30/2010 9:22:55 PM): believe me, i know.
Him: (4/30/2010 9:22:56 PM): you should be lucky
soverysoft1 (4/30/2010 9:23:33 PM) i get to decide whether that will be the focus of my conversations and relationships.
soverysoft1 (4/30/2010 9:23:56 PM) i want so much more than that. and that's not easy to find
Him: (4/30/2010 9:24:56 PM): what you want
Him: (4/30/2010 9:25:04 PM): be nice
soverysoft1 (4/30/2010 9:25:24 PM): i want to get to know a man without him being focused on that. 
Him: (4/30/2010 9:25:50 PM): *that the reason i want to get close to you*
soverysoft1 (4/30/2010 9:26:06 PM): yep, i know. and that bores me...so i will go for now. i am sorry
Him: (4/30/2010 9:26:11 PM): *if you dont have them i wont talk to you*
soverysoft1 (4/30/2010 9:26:25 PM): wow. very shallow. good to know. lol
Him: (4/30/2010 9:26:34 PM):* give me the size *
soverysoft1 (4/30/2010 9:26:39 PM): bye!


----------



## spiritangel (May 4, 2010)

hmmm starting to feel like I am lucky mayby I just look to angelic for those types of messages lol


----------



## Nutty (May 4, 2010)

SoVerySoft said:


> Gotta admit - at least the guy below was honest. (He's in purple and I bolded the best stuff.)
> 
> Him: (4/30/2010 9:18:46 PM): how tall are you
> Him: (4/30/2010 9:19:30 PM): how big are they lol
> ...



omg that guy sounds like a neanderthal. "Ug Ug What Ug Ug size Ug Ug". Don't people know the word decency?


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## Nutty (May 4, 2010)

SoVerySoft said:


> Him: (4/30/2010 9:25:50 PM): *that the reason i want to get close to you*



*THAT* creeps me out.


----------



## thatgirl08 (May 4, 2010)

Jes said:


> i hope you weren't rude, and that you answered his question. How many pizzas CAN you eating, thatgirl?



omg hahaha somehow I missed this earlier.. hilarious.


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## DitzyBrunette (May 5, 2010)

SoVerySoft said:


> Gotta admit - at least the guy below was honest. (He's in purple and I bolded the best stuff.)



He sounds like one of those creepy Nigerian guys, he couldn't even put a sentence together correctly. I have to admit, proper English and good grammar turns me on. That guy sounds disgusting. :doh:


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## Ash (May 5, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> I also this beauty on ff today - my name is claes from sweden i like to sea your fat body can you be fatter how many pizzas can you eating



Bitch that's MY man!

"my name is claes from sweden i likke to sea your fat body very math can you bea fatter how many pizzas can you eating"


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## Famouslastwords (May 5, 2010)

Oooooooooh yeeeeeaaaaaaaaah, subscribing.


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## Jes (May 5, 2010)

Ashley said:


> Bitch that's MY man!
> 
> "my name is claes from sweden i likke to sea your fat body very math can you bea fatter how many pizzas can you eating"



but you're a feedee (or at least feedee-ish, right?) so at least you can appreciate the sentiment, if not the forwardness or the spelling! for me, that would gross me out.


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## CastingPearls (May 5, 2010)

DitzyBrunette said:


> He sounds like one of those creepy Nigerian guys, he couldn't even put a sentence together correctly. I have to admit, proper English and good grammar turns me on. That guy sounds disgusting. :doh:


Proper English and good grammar are dealbreakers. FTFY!!!! 
~~~~ lowered expectaaaaaaaations........


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## Gingembre (May 5, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> omg hahaha somehow I missed this earlier.. hilarious.



Answer the question, biatch - how meneh peetzas can yew eat? Enquiring minds want to know!


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## thatgirl08 (May 5, 2010)

Ashley said:


> Bitch that's MY man!
> 
> "my name is claes from sweden i likke to sea your fat body very math can you bea fatter how many pizzas can you eating"



I'M DYING



Gingembre said:


> Answer the question, biatch - how meneh peetzas can yew eat? Enquiring minds want to know!



Are you buying?


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## Weirdo890 (May 6, 2010)

Good grief. I can't believe some of the things guys will say. :doh: I will admit that I myself have that pervy side to my self, but I keep it to myself. I try to show women, and everybody else, the same respect they deserve as human beings. Good grief. I hope I never end up like that.


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## thatgirl08 (May 6, 2010)

Yeah, it's always best to keep it to yourself if you know yourself that you have that pervy side of yourself.


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## CastingPearls (May 6, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> Yeah, it's always best to keep it to yourself if you know yourself that you have that pervy side of yourself.


well, at least not until you know she's a freak too.


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## Weirdo890 (May 6, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> Yeah, it's always best to keep it to yourself if you know yourself that you have that pervy side of yourself.



Yeah, that is true. I try not to do those kind of things. Like I said, I try to show women respect. My momma always taught that me that. :happy:


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## Micara (May 6, 2010)

Weirdo890 said:


> Yeah, that is true. I try not to do those kind of things. Like I said, I try to show women respect. My momma always taught that me that. :happy:



Trust me, Eric is one of the most respectful guys I've ever known. I wouldn't have given him the time of day if he wasn't.


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## thatgirl08 (May 20, 2010)

Not one of the first messages but I died at this.

I talk to this guy off and on for about two hours. He was kinda boring but seemed alright. Then I get this -

"so fo u think u wanna start like a relationships or do u not know yer"


I was DYING.


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## Crystal (May 20, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> Not one of the first messages but I died at this.
> 
> I talk to this guy off and on for about two hours. He was kinda boring but seemed alright. Then I get this -
> 
> ...



HAHAHA. You're just that irresistible. :happy:


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## thatgirl08 (May 20, 2010)

Crystal said:


> HAHAHA. You're just that irresistible. :happy:



hahahaa must be!


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## Lamia (May 21, 2010)

Back when I was unemployed and living with my mom I would play yahoo games at night and I would get imed all the time. They were pretty much all the same...

"Oh Lamia I want marry you. What business you own in US"?
Me "I don't have a business I am unemployed living with my mother"
Him "what do?"
Me: "nothing"
Him: "how?"
Me: "I hold very, very still"
Him: "you want children"
Me: "No"
Him: "children will complete you"
Me: "I'm not a jigsaw"
etc etc I bet I had this same conversation a dozen times. 

it always makes me laugh when a guy starts a conversation with...


hmmmmmmm

seriously?


----------



## intraultra (May 22, 2010)

Ohh man. POF deleted all my messages because I haven't been on there in forever, but there were some gems in there. So here's a couple fun ones from OKC:

"Would you like to slurp my ejaculate out of a dixie cup with a straw?"

"i love how u look no disrespect major turn on i had 2 let u know the 2nd pic on your file that did it 4 me major turn on my we chat ?"


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## thatgirl08 (May 22, 2010)

Yesterday - "i love u want 2 chat"


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## Lamia (May 23, 2010)

ooh I forgot about this one guy who kept iming me everytime I was on he would always forgot he had spoken to me before and he would always ask if I had siblings and if I said yes I have one of each. He would then take the conversation into a "have you ever wanted to have sex with your brother". 

The first time I asked him lots of questions apparenlty he lives in Germany and has a fetish for incest. 

After the 7th time of him contacting me he said "hello my name is ____ would you like to chat " I answered"NO and no I don't want to ___ my brother!" He never bothered me after that. lol


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## bigbuttlover39 (May 23, 2010)

omgs, totally subscribing to this thread! This is all way to amazingly humourous - mind you it definately has its creepy factor - but funny none the less. All of these messages are priceless! Props to all of you ladies that deal with that on a daily basis, my hat is off to you :bow:


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## freakyfred (May 23, 2010)

One time on skype, a couple of my friends kept getting creepy messages much like the ones posted here. So I decided to change my gender and name to 'Liz McArson' to see what happened. I got loads of em. Here are some choice quotes (Warning explict);

YATOUT says: so come to leak my dick is big
YATOUT says: i wil spirm you all over your tits

didyma.88 says: go on
didyma.88 says: open your cam pls
didyma.88 says: you are big liar
didyma.88 says: bye

diable_red2007 says: You are married
Liz Mc Arson says: i am married to the sea
diable_red2007 says: I do not
diable_red2007 says: You boys

YATOUT says: i dont fuck homosexuel
YATOUT says: son of the pitch


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## LovelyLiz (May 26, 2010)

Tip for guys: Telling a girl that you just met online that you get turned on by repeatedly gagging a girl with your manhood...and that it turns you on to hear her gag over and over...not really a great way to get her to want to go out with you. 

Just fyi.


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## Famouslastwords (May 26, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Tip for guys: Telling a girl that you just met online that you get turned on by repeatedly gagging a girl with your manhood...and that it turns you on to hear her gag over and over...not really a great way to get her to want to go out with you.
> 
> Just fyi.



Unless she's me! Just kidding, sorry to get your hopes up boys!


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## DeerVictory (May 26, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Tip for guys: Telling a girl that you just met online that you get turned on by repeatedly gagging a girl with your manhood...and that it turns you on to hear her gag over and over...not really a great way to get her to want to go out with you.
> 
> Just fyi.




Is that what I've been doing wrong all of these years?


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## Ash (May 26, 2010)

Jes said:


> but you're a feedee (or at least feedee-ish, right?) so at least you can appreciate the sentiment, if not the forwardness or the spelling! for me, that would gross me out.



Yeah, I'm a feedee, but I can't say I appreciate the sentiment that much. It's kind of akin to your average non-fetishist getting a first message that says "hey, I really love sex. Can you show me your hoo?". Way oversimplified, but it's not far off. It's a little personal and creepy. 

But generally the grammar bothers me more than the subject matter.


----------



## Christov (May 26, 2010)

Not really about internet dating or first messages for that matter, but hey, might as well add my woes here.

It probably isn't a good idea to inform me you have a boyfriend right before we get to the sexings. Nor will saying "but I like you more than him" get me to commence with the lovemaking after your abrupt announcement stops me dead in my tracks.

Seriously. I have one golden rule in life when it comes to women; never get involved with somebody already in a relationship. Bigamy is such a turn off.


----------



## LovelyLiz (May 26, 2010)

Famouslastwords said:


> Unless she's me! Just kidding, sorry to get your hopes up boys!





Raegan said:


> Is that what I've been doing wrong all of these years?



Ha! Awesome, ladies.


----------



## Gingembre (May 26, 2010)

Yesterday: "2 far away"

Sorry?!


----------



## KittyKitten (May 26, 2010)

"Hmm, God sure took his time making you, mami".............


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## Famouslastwords (May 26, 2010)

Gingembre said:


> Yesterday: "2 far away"
> 
> Sorry?!



I lol'd it's like. Uhm, ok, what? Why'd you message me then, so I'd beg you please telling you you're so awesome from your spelling grammar and lack of punctuation that I'll move to you and uproot my whole life, just to get to know you and if it doesn't work out oh well it was worth it? No, that's not it. He just wanted to say whatever came to his mind like some kind of verbal diarrhea except with typing and fingers. Fuckitall. I'm going lesbo. Or I would, if I hadn't a boyfriend.


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## LovelyLiz (May 27, 2010)

"hi there i like meet you in real."

Apparently this guy can't be bothered except to type maybe every other word.


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## bigbuttlover39 (May 27, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> "hi there i like meet you in real."



HAH thats almost as amazing as some one asking "HAI, i hurd you liek mudkipz..." which btw if anyone EVER wrote that to me, im yours forever. for reals. :wubu:

and for those of you who have absolutely no idea what that means, dont worry about it.


----------



## CastingPearls (May 27, 2010)

I just got requested on Yahoo by a guy who typed: "Cam. Do Cam. Now. Do you like the sex?"


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## Lamia (May 28, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> I just got requested on Yahoo by a guy who typed: "Cam. Do Cam. Now. Do you like the sex?"



I've been sitting here saying that really fast it's fun...CAMDOCAMNOW!!


----------



## Cece Larue (May 28, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> I just got requested on Yahoo by a guy who typed: "Cam. Do Cam. Now. Do you like the sex?"



Hallo purdy ladee on cam... do u lyke to make da sexi tymez?


----------



## GTAFA (May 28, 2010)

Lamia said:


> I've been sitting here saying that really fast it's fun...CAMDOCAMNOW!!



It works as a rap-refrain. Try it.


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## LovelyLiz (May 28, 2010)

"i want to see your ass and rob it and come all over"

How did he find out about the hidden treasure????


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## thatgirl08 (May 28, 2010)

Rob it? Is that like the sister phrase of "wreck it"?


----------



## Lamia (May 28, 2010)

Me want see sex you CAMDOCAMNOW
how big r u breats CAMDOCAMNOW
Me want cum to CAMDOCAMNOW
how much you eats CAMDOCAMNOW

I wanna see ur ass and rob it CAMDOCAMNOW
I got you treasure 
for my pleasure
CAMDOCAMNOW

hmmmmmmmm
ohhhhhhhhhhh
CAMDOCAMNOW
AHHHHHHHHHHH
YESSSSSSSSSSS
CAMDOCAMNOW

Please do add more lyrics CAMDOCAMNOW!


----------



## LovelyLiz (May 29, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> Rob it? Is that like the sister phrase of "wreck it"?



He actually meant "rub it" lol...


----------



## CastingPearls (May 29, 2010)

Lamia said:


> Me want see sex you CAMDOCAMNOW
> how big r u breats CAMDOCAMNOW
> Me want cum to CAMDOCAMNOW
> how much you eats CAMDOCAMNOW
> ...


I'm ROFL and it doesn't help that I'm half drunk.


----------



## thatgirl08 (May 29, 2010)

Lamia said:


> Me want see sex you CAMDOCAMNOW
> how big r u breats CAMDOCAMNOW
> Me want cum to CAMDOCAMNOW
> how much you eats CAMDOCAMNOW
> ...



This is hilarious haha.



mcbeth said:


> He actually meant "rub it" lol...



Oh right, that's a little awkward on my part hahaha.


----------



## Famouslastwords (May 29, 2010)

Speaking of guys on webcams. There's this guy I met in a chatroom when I was single. He wanted to show me his webcam. He said 21/m/naked on webcam.

I was like /hits the X button.

Then the next time he messages me he wants to see my webcam and I'm like wtf you're just going to request my webcam without saying anything? He's all yeah... y not? So I was like whatever. Then he offered to show me his webcam. And he was cute like whatever. And he was like u like what u see? And I was like sure. And he was like I can show you more. And I was like what do you mean. And he was like naked. And I was like no thanks. And I'm sure I made a face. Haha. He got mad and turned his webcam off and stopped talking to me and turned my webcam off. Thankfully I don't have that yahoo address anymore because I moved and I lost that service.


----------



## willowmoon (May 29, 2010)

Lamia said:


> Me want see sex you CAMDOCAMNOW
> how big r u breats CAMDOCAMNOW
> Me want cum to CAMDOCAMNOW
> how much you eats CAMDOCAMNOW
> ...



I am praying .... yes, PRAYING ... that this song gets completed and we see a video on youtube soon (tastefully edited of course)


----------



## frankman (May 29, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> Rob it? Is that like the sister phrase of "wreck it"?



That could be, unless he's actually all about stealing it's contents.

To ass-wreck someone would also be... socially unacceptable I guess.


----------



## GTAFA (May 29, 2010)

Lamia said:


> Me want see sex you CAMDOCAMNOW
> how big r u breats CAMDOCAMNOW
> Me want cum to CAMDOCAMNOW
> how much you eats CAMDOCAMNOW
> ...



Add a heavy beat like in the soundtrack to Slumdog Millionaire, do it with a heavy accent, and you have the makings of a worldwide phenomenon. Maybe it goes viral on youtube with people shitting themselves laughing at our idea. Later Simon gives you a new TV show identifying musical talent in the third world on a reality show. 
_*
~THIRD WORLD IDOL~*_

Somebody should sing this thing.


----------



## CastingPearls (Jun 9, 2010)

I don't know this guy. He's NOT a Facebook friend but this was in my inbox today:

hey,pretty Im searching to settle down...........looking for the love of my life........one i will live and grow old with.........till death do us part.........according to the marriage oath. im looking forward to get married before i turn 38 that this coming sept 10..........im tired of been home alone.........need someone to come home to after the day job.......the bone of my bone.........the flesh of my flesh from above........why do i say from above.........i hate divorce........i need a marriage made in heaven.........till death do us . Babe.......i love to be your Adam........would you be my Eve........we are not meant to be alone right from the day of creation.God has ordain marriage from garden of Edem through Adam and Eve.........He knows us more than ourself.......that we need each other to move on in life. WOULD YOU MARRY ME..........ELAINE.B. I believe that is your name come let talk.... i believe in you.......and i know we will make it......for our God ......is God that can do all things........God of impossibility........the one that makes things happen.........create a road in red sea for children of Isreal ,to pass through........that God is still alive........will do it for us. Make up your mind.........do not look at the distance or is it real .........is it not a game........our knowing each other is not by accident but the lords wish. I promise to be loyal,honest,sincere,respect and love you till end of time..........im ready to relocate if that should be the case.thanks,love you Sir valid


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## LovelyLiz (Jun 9, 2010)

Well if you're not gonna snatch him up, give me his info!


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## CastingPearls (Jun 9, 2010)

Ten subsequent messages (all unanswered, all within 10 minutes) indicate he also would me to help him become a US citizen and that I should listen to him because GOD SAYS SO. And he really really really REALLY loves me. LOL


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## supersizebbw (Jun 9, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> *WOULD YOU MARRY ME..........ELAINE.B. I believe that is your name*



what? LOL!!! i believe that is your name? is this person serious?:doh:

I just joined plenty of fish yesterday in the hope of finding someone....i joined last night and today my inbox has about 20msgs, almost all of which are just copy/paste garbage "love" msgs, they couldn't even be bothered to write my name in there.

maybe i should stick to trying to find people in real life once again


----------



## gobettiepurple (Jun 9, 2010)

supersizebbw said:


> maybe i should stick to trying to find people in real life once again



*But have you ever noticed that its super hard to meet quality people in the so-called real world? I mean best girl friends are hard to find, and good men are scarce on the ground. Tell me, people who are older and wiser . . . how did people meet people back when there was no internet or television keeping us all at home stuck in consumer-driven comas? 

Too over the top? i mean, my grandparents fell in love because they lived next door to each other . . . has the modern age really expanded our horizons, or has it limited us in some way? 

I am just pondering . . . its actually sort of depressing if i put it in those terms!*


----------



## spiritangel (Jun 9, 2010)

believe it or not until we lost touch due to both of us moving soo much I met one of my bestest friends on the train we started talking cause she admired my dress and we became great friends, another person I used to go talk to all the time at the newsagency her dad owned and then her aunt and I became really close friends

other places like the net forums are a great place to meet some truly wonderful people, doing a course at community college is another great way to meet people with at least one common interest

oh and in australia there is a site called getalife.com.au where you can join in group activities and create your own activities for people to join in


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## mimosa (Jun 10, 2010)

*Today I got a " Just hanging out with my wang out." Smooth....really smooth. What a proper greeting for a lady. Man, I think I wanna have his baby. LOL:doh:*


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## spiritangel (Jun 10, 2010)

gobettiepurple said:


> *But have you ever noticed that its super hard to meet quality people in the so-called real world? I mean best girl friends are hard to find, and good men are scarce on the ground. Tell me, people who are older and wiser . . . how did people meet people back when there was no internet or television keeping us all at home stuck in consumer-driven comas?
> 
> Too over the top? i mean, my grandparents fell in love because they lived next door to each other . . . has the modern age really expanded our horizons, or has it limited us in some way?
> 
> I am just pondering . . . its actually sort of depressing if i put it in those terms!*




thinking that you need to start a thread asking this question as it really is a thread unto itself


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## kayrae (Jun 10, 2010)

*MontereyRomance:* i want to kiss your feet
*kay:* foot fetishist huh?
*MontereyRomance:* yes maam
*MontereyRomance:* may i worship them?
*kay:* i have terrible feet
*MontereyRomance:* have you ever tortured a bug to death slowly?
*kay:* not with my feet, no
*MontereyRomance:* with your hands???? say YES
*kay:* no, i don't even like touching bugs
*MontereyRomance:*ever spray one with Raid and then gleefully watch it suffer?


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## Blackjack (Jun 10, 2010)

kayrae said:


> *MontereyRomance:* i want to kiss your feet
> *kay:* foot fetishist huh?
> *MontereyRomance:* yes maam
> *MontereyRomance:* may i worship them?
> ...



It sounds less like he's a foot fetishist and more like someone who gets off on bug death.

He should watch more nature specials on insects.


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## Carrie (Jun 10, 2010)

kayrae said:


> *MontereyRomance:* i want to kiss your feet
> *kay:* foot fetishist huh?
> *MontereyRomance:* yes maam
> *MontereyRomance:* may i worship them?
> ...


my vagina just clamped shut so hard.


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## spiritangel (Jun 10, 2010)

oh my but I am soo glad I took all the obvious single stuff off my fb and unjoined some groups the onslaught of creeps seems to have vanished thank goodness

hugs I cant help but laugh at these guys


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## supersizebbw (Jun 10, 2010)

gobettiepurple said:


> *But have you ever noticed that its super hard to meet quality people in the so-called real world? I mean best girl friends are hard to find, and good men are scarce on the ground. Tell me, people who are older and wiser . . . how did people meet people back when there was no internet or television keeping us all at home stuck in consumer-driven comas?
> 
> Too over the top? i mean, my grandparents fell in love because they lived next door to each other . . . has the modern age really expanded our horizons, or has it limited us in some way?
> 
> I am just pondering . . . its actually sort of depressing if i put it in those terms!*



I know what you mean. Whatever happened to striking conversations with actual people and maybe it leading to something more. 

My problem is i'm terribly shy, and for now i'm living in a city where despite it being overcrowded with people, hardly anyone talks to anyone else and there's so many lonely people! 

I've lived in my building for about 8months now, I don't know any of my neighbours, and if i come across anyone in the hallway i smile and say hello and they do the same and that's that. I guess i could make the effort which is why i need to break out of my shy mould. 

There's another dating site a joined some months ago, and have two potential guys who'd like to meet me in person but i'm just to scared, the thought of rejection terrifies me and i seriously need to overcome this or i really and truely will die old and alone *sigh*


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## CastingPearls (Jun 10, 2010)

kayrae said:


> *MontereyRomance:* i want to kiss your feet
> *kay:* foot fetishist huh?
> *MontereyRomance:* yes maam
> *MontereyRomance:* may i worship them?
> ...


Wow. Just.....wow. That one there is a keeper.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jun 10, 2010)

This is from a guy I've never seen/talked to in my entire life. Facebook message out of the blue:

Hi my names is [redacted] I had to tell you how beautiful you are to me.You are so SEXY and DESIRABLE that I had to drop what I was doing and write you. I use to live in Tampa and I still never seen such beauty and since moving to Vegas, (I know I haven't). I believe when you find a woman with such beauty, I must tell her.

I am in search of that special women who will become more than just my best friend and lover . She will become the smile on my lips, the warmth in my heart, the joy in my days and the hopes in my dreams. I am complete in who I am, yet in search of my complimentry other half. I am an incurable romantic with a lot of passion in my heart who is easy to love and hard to forget. Now in no way am I'm trying to start anything beyond a friendship, I'm just a Big Fan of your Beauty.

Your Biggest Fan
[redacted]

What really has me ROFL!!!! is that last line, given the rest of it. Ahahahahahahahaahaha.


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## Jes (Jun 11, 2010)

supersizebbw said:


> There's another dating site a joined some months ago, and have two potential guys who'd like to meet me in person but i'm just to scared, the thought of rejection terrifies me and i seriously need to overcome this or i really and truely will die old and alone *sigh*



I hope you can find a way through that. I tried, and sometimes couldn't (though sometimes I did)--and eventually, I dropped out b/c I didn't want to be yet another person on a dating site who wasn't ever going to come out and meet someone who was interested in me. Know what I mean? I didn't want to become part of the problem.


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## Lamia (Jun 12, 2010)

kayrae said:


> *MontereyRomance:* i want to kiss your feet
> *kay:* foot fetishist huh?
> *MontereyRomance:* yes maam
> *MontereyRomance:* may i worship them?
> ...



Want to hear something really wrong? I have had this guy talk to me before. I used to laugh about it all the time. The bug squisher guy...there can't be more than one..I pray.


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## Lamia (Jun 12, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> Ten subsequent messages (all unanswered, all within 10 minutes) indicate he also would me to help him become a US citizen and that I should listen to him because GOD SAYS SO. And he really really really REALLY loves me. LOL



I used to get yahoo guys from other countries iming me and the approach was pretty much the same. They want citizenship no matter what. One guy would not be deterred. He keping saying. Oh my god Lamia I must marry you. I just kept adding horrible things like. 

I'm a satanist
I kill people with saran wrap
I know how to read
I like to run around naked shouting Viva La Vegas while slapping my ass with raw chicken


He was down with all that. I would be his perfect bride. :doh:


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## Jes (Jun 12, 2010)

Lamia said:


> Want to hear something really wrong? I have had this guy talk to me before. I used to laugh about it all the time. The bug squisher guy...there can't be more than one..I pray.


See now, this is the perfect example of what I was referring to somewhere else at Dims. The kind of guy whose sexual personna is already developed in one specific vein and he's just looking for someone to fill in the other role. He's got the script all written in his head, and has for years, and now he's casting a woman to say 'oooh yes' and 'oh yeah.' And it could be you. Or me. Or Michelle Obama. Or Betty White. He doesn't give a shit who, really, and he's most certainly not interested in YOUR fantasies (unless they're about the exact same thing as his). 

How totally unappealing. What a bullshit-y sense of entitlement. And I'll bet he's another internet phenom--not very sexually experienced, and he's built his entire 'sex life' around weird shit he's found online. And he thinks tits feel like a bag of sand.

PASS.


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## CastingPearls (Jun 12, 2010)

Here's another one from someone I don't even know. He's not a Facebook friend either. 

Hey not to offend or hurt you..but i was going through VY page and found ya pic so smokin hot that i cudnt resist and spilled 

He can't go through my page. My privacy settings don't allow it. All he can see is my profile pic.


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## Aust99 (Jun 12, 2010)

Does spilled mean what I think it means??? lol


I opened an internet dating account today on POF... I'll let you know if I get any worthy of this thread.... nothing so far. lol


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## littlefairywren (Jun 13, 2010)

Lamia said:


> I used to get yahoo guys from other countries iming me and the approach was pretty much the same. They want citizenship no matter what. One guy would not be deterred. He keping saying. Oh my god Lamia I must marry you. I just kept adding horrible things like.
> 
> *I'm a satanist
> I kill people with saran wrap
> ...



I laughed so hard!! Can I please borrow some for what I get hassled?


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## CastingPearls (Jun 13, 2010)

Lamia said:


> I used to get yahoo guys from other countries iming me and the approach was pretty much the same. They want citizenship no matter what. One guy would not be deterred. He keping saying. Oh my god Lamia I must marry you. I just kept adding horrible things like.
> 
> I'm a satanist
> I kill people with saran wrap
> ...


<taking notes>


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## CastingPearls (Jun 13, 2010)

Aust99 said:


> Does spilled mean what I think it means??? lol
> 
> 
> I opened an internet dating account today on POF... I'll let you know if I get any worthy of this thread.... nothing so far. lol


Yeah I don't think it was within his intellectual capacity to spell 'splooged'.


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## LovelyLiz (Jun 13, 2010)

This is a message I got from someone I have never met...hilarious.

12:43 AM 6/13 I want to start by saying that I miss you, and you have no idea how much I love you.I know you don't need another reminder because I tell you a thousand times a day how much I love you, but I do and that is my only way to show you. I love the you ways you show me how much you love me, and I know my simple words can never compare.From day one, I knew there was something in you that no other guy had. You are the most AMAZING guy I have ever known. Thinking back to the strange way we met, how we grow so close in just a few short days, and how you were the first one to show me the meaning of true love, it makes me smile and fall all over for you again.Baby, you make my heart beat faster each time I see you, and you give me butterflies when you kiss me. You are the one I want to hold for the rest of my life.


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## spiritangel (Jun 13, 2010)

I do know there is a free aussie bbw dating site just for the life of me cannot think what it is called


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## Aust99 (Jun 13, 2010)

spiritangel said:


> I do know there is a free aussie bbw dating site just for the life of me cannot think what it is called



Totally free?? I've never had any luck on bbw sites, never anyone near my location.


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## CastingPearls (Jun 13, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> This is a message I got from someone I have never met...hilarious.
> 
> 12:43 AM 6/13 I want to start by saying that I miss you, and you have no idea how much I love you.I know you don't need another reminder because I tell you a thousand times a day how much I love you, but I do and that is my only way to show you. I love the you ways you show me how much you love me, and I know my simple words can never compare.From day one, I knew there was something in you that no other guy had. You are the most AMAZING guy I have ever known. Thinking back to the strange way we met, how we grow so close in just a few short days, and how you were the first one to show me the meaning of true love, it makes me smile and fall all over for you again.Baby, you make my heart beat faster each time I see you, and you give me butterflies when you kiss me. You are the one I want to hold for the rest of my life.


Wait....you are the most amazing GUY I have ever KNOWN??? MWAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!


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## LovelyLiz (Jun 13, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> Wait....you are the most amazing GUY I have ever KNOWN??? MWAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!



Yeah, I liked that part too.


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## CastingPearls (Jun 13, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Yeah, I liked that part too.


He don' know you vewwy weww, do he? BUT he's in LOOOOOOOOOOVE. That counts. Right? RIGHT??? LOL


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jun 13, 2010)

Are you sure it was from a guy, mcbeth? lol! Maybe it was just a case of mistaken identity somehow. lol


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## LovelyLiz (Jun 13, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Are you sure it was from a guy, mcbeth? lol! Maybe it was just a case of mistaken identity somehow. lol



It's possible...but it was to a screenname of mine called "woman for conversation" or something like that...so I think it was just some serialized message sent to a bunch of people (like the ones CP was posting above too).


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## CastingPearls (Jun 13, 2010)

Lamia said:


> I used to get yahoo guys from other countries iming me and the approach was pretty much the same. They want citizenship no matter what. One guy would not be deterred. He keping saying. Oh my god Lamia I must marry you. I just kept adding horrible things like.
> 
> I'm a satanist
> I kill people with saran wrap
> ...


Today I used 'I kill people with Saran Wrap'. It was not a deterrent. In fact, it turned him on.


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## Lamia (Jun 15, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> Today I used 'I kill people with Saran Wrap'. It was not a deterrent. In fact, it turned him on.



Well, I didn't say they worked.  In fact I said the dude was down with all of it. lol I don't know whether their English is so poor that they don't actually know what you are saying...or they don't care that you're a murderer and would marry you just to move to the U.S.


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## LordSheogorath (Jun 15, 2010)

My brother got a few creepy messages from a random girl who literally told him her life's story via myspace message. I literally shot whatever I was drinking at the time out of my nose and mouth and fell on the floor laughing and crying... I think he just rolled off the computer chair laughing as well... The second messages were just plain creepy stalker ones, like, "Oh hey just got back on the computer and wanted to see what you were up to. Ok nice chat!" like literally minutes apart! My brother never responded... :happy:


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## CastingPearls (Jun 15, 2010)

Lamia said:


> Well, I didn't say they worked.  In fact I said the dude was down with all of it. lol I don't know whether their English is so poor that they don't actually know what you are saying...or they don't care that you're a murderer and would marry you just to move to the U.S.


Unfortunately the guy I used it on is American.....and he emailed me this morning saying, "soooooooo, you like Saran Wrap.....I could get into that!"


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## Fat Brian (Jun 15, 2010)

Tell him you're making a necklace of penises and ask if he would like to donate.


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## Oldtimer76 (Jun 16, 2010)

Aust99 said:


> Totally free?? I've never had any luck on bbw sites, never anyone near my location.



Guys in your area must be OR blind OR stupid OR shy I cannot think of something else they would be...


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## supersizebbw (Jun 21, 2010)

Just got this on POF which i'm thinking of ditching my account since i've had no luck whatsoever...

"i am 29 indian guy in london looking fr a bbw for shagg,shower fun or intersted in oral sex,wnna meet?"


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## KuroBara (Jun 22, 2010)

Lamia said:


> I'm a satanist
> I kill people with saran wrap
> I know how to read
> I like to run around naked shouting Viva La Vegas while slapping my ass with raw chicken




This..was..beautiful.


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## Inhibited (Jun 30, 2010)

I took the plunge and joined 2 dating sites one is a bbw.... I meet someone from the net for the first time today... i must be lucky coz he was really nice don't think it will go anywhere but is a nice person.. Also am meeting someone on Sunday as well....


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## Famouslastwords (Jul 2, 2010)

I had this guy from Ethiopia contact me for the greencard excuse. I fucked around til he finally tried to be serious about the whole thing, like my jokes were a fault or something, here's what resulted:

Guy: what is your hobby?
Piper Marie: traveling
Piper Marie: do you like my drawings?
Guy: yes
Guy: what kind of traveling?
Piper Marie: going to new places
Guy: That is also my hobby
Guy: do you use car to travel?
Guy: or on foot?
Piper Marie: yeah, and I fly first class
Guy: that means you are rich
Guy: as your name
Piper Marie: Sometimes I get in a shopping cart with an oar and I go out of town for a few days
Guy: I think you have a good personality too
Piper Marie: thank you
Guy: feel free
Guy: I am a very flexible person
Guy: you can say what you feel
Piper Marie: hehehe
Guy: and I beleive that we humans are not perfect.
Piper Marie: yeah
Guy: including my self
Guy: If I know the weakeness of any friend, I beleive in treating him/her
Guy: I will try to adjust to him, if I can't I will discuss with him for change
Guy: so feel free
Guy: is my view right?
Piper Marie: I'm perfect in every way
Guy: do you beleive in that?
Piper Marie: yeah
Guy: that means you have never done a mistake
Piper Marie: yep
Guy: If that is the case, I am very lucky to chat with you
Piper Marie: well, except for this one time when I was in my shopping cart, I broke my oar so I couldn't stop and I ran a red light and hit an old lady crossing the street
Piper Marie: but that's not my fault, so I've never made a mistake
Guy: Haven't you annoyed anybody?
Piper Marie: nope
Piper Marie: well the old lady I ran over was a little irritated, she flipped me off
Guy: how old are you?
Piper Marie: 25
Guy: That is great
Guy: I am 27
Guy: do you want to consider me as a friend?
Piper Marie: aren't we friends?
Guy: yea but more than this one.
Piper Marie: ok, we can be friends but there isn't room for two in my shopping cart
Piper Marie: and I only have one oar, but it's still broke
Piper Marie: maybe you could push me around


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## Jes (Jul 2, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Yeah, I liked that part too.



that has GOT to be a mistake. It sounds like it was really written by a woman, and somehow, wires got crossed. What do you think?


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## calauria (Jul 2, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Tip for guys: Telling a girl that you just met online that you get turned on by repeatedly gagging a girl with your manhood...and that it turns you on to hear her gag over and over...not really a great way to get her to want to go out with you.
> 
> Just fyi.



Did a guy named Jason say that to you? LOL!!! I know his punk ass!! LOL!!


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## calauria (Jul 2, 2010)

Famouslastwords said:


> I had this guy from Ethiopia contact me for the greencard excuse. I fucked around til he finally tried to be serious about the whole thing, like my jokes were a fault or something, here's what resulted:
> 
> Guy: what is your hobby?
> Piper Marie: traveling
> ...



LOL!!!! That was too funny chica!!! LOL!!!


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## calauria (Jul 2, 2010)

supersizebbw said:


> Just got this on POF which i'm thinking of ditching my account since i've had no luck whatsoever...
> 
> "i am 29 indian guy in london looking fr a bbw for shagg,shower fun or intersted in oral sex,wnna meet?"



I ditched my account, cuz all I got were freaks like that...*smh*


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## LovelyLiz (Jul 2, 2010)

Jes said:


> that has GOT to be a mistake. It sounds like it was really written by a woman, and somehow, wires got crossed. What do you think?



I think it was written by a scam artist, who doesn't have enough of a mastery of the English language to remember to change all the relevant pronouns to fit the intended recipient.


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## Inhibited (Sep 8, 2010)

Am meeting someone tonight and another tomorrow afternoon...
Unlike others who have messaged me they haven't mentioned anything about any sexual contact which is a good sign....


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## LovelyLiz (Sep 8, 2010)

This was technically a second message, and not TOO crazy...but still.

"Well I'm 6'2 185 electrician. Originally from louisiana. 39. Looking for a beautiful lady with a nice personality who is very heavy and has a xlarge hips legs and bottom. Lol. Sorry. My weakness."

Lol? LOL???? Yeah, hilarious, dude. I just sent a message back saying, "Ah well, that's not me. Good luck." 

I love how they throw in "nice personality." WTF does that even mean? Vague.


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## GTAFA (Sep 8, 2010)

This thread reminds me of those emails full of carnage you sometimes get from your friends, showing really dumb things people do on skate-boards or in cars. Just as those emails are helpful to remind me "SLOW, CAREFUL," when driving... so too with these messages, except the speed limit applies to my words-per-minute.


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## spiritangel (Sep 8, 2010)

omg how many guys think telling you they have fallen in love with a single pic of you and that your their soul mate is gonna get you in?

Hmm I am fat not stooopid, and soooo skeptical of this that I dont even respond to said messages


oh got a great fr and message the other day on fb


"your sexy can we be friends" hmm ok lets see how much info your showing on your fb page erm the whole relationship thing has "engaged" f/r ignored message deleted not on my watch mr, that poor woman hes engaged to what a hound dog


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## KendraLee (Sep 9, 2010)

I'm getting a kick out of this thread. I've had some crazy stuff written to me in the past. Now that I'm single again I'm sure I can look forward to more of the same.


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## Jes (Sep 9, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> This was technically a second message, and not TOO crazy...but still.
> 
> "Well I'm 6'2 185 electrician. Originally from louisiana. 39. Looking for a beautiful lady with a nice personality who is very heavy and has a xlarge hips legs and bottom. Lol. Sorry. My weakness."
> 
> ...



i like how they ALWAYS apologize for their shit. Um...hey, if you really think it's something that deserves an apology, maybe don't say it? And maybe don't take it as a fact that you need to have it since you're already admitting it's problematic? 

Throwing more shit at us, waiting for chance number 201! (this refers to a post I made a few minutes ago. I'm cranky now).


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## liz (di-va) (Sep 12, 2010)

I feel like I've had some doozies recently, and that I am crankier than normal about them. Which is silly, I should just let them roll off my back. But still. These are all first messages, and this is all there is to them, i.e., nothing else, no name, etc:

"very sensual here too"
"YOU LOOK SO AWSOME ,JUST PERFECT YOU WANNA GIVE ME THE PLEASURE TO KNOW YOU?"
"you r im my dreams,maybe you should know me better"
"now i m thinking to come eh eh for a charmy and very curvey girl like You"
"oh my, you are quite arousing"


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## missy_blue_eyez (Sep 12, 2010)

BeautifulBigD said:


> "I'm not a very sensitive guy, but I've got a huge penis"



This made me laugh so hard!


----------



## Carrie (Sep 12, 2010)

liz (di-va) said:


> I feel like I've had some doozies recently, and that I am crankier than normal about them. Which is silly, I should just let them roll off my back. But still. These are all first messages, and this is all there is to them, i.e., nothing else, no name, etc:
> 
> *"very sensual here too"*
> "YOU LOOK SO AWSOME ,JUST PERFECT YOU WANNA GIVE ME THE PLEASURE TO KNOW YOU?"
> ...


I don't know what's better here, the proud announcement of self-sensuality or the randomly capitalized You. It's like he had a vague idea that Capitalization Is Important, but had no idea where, so fuck it, I'll just throw it in here. You.


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## Famouslastwords (Sep 12, 2010)

Carrie said:


> I don't know what's better here, the proud announcement of self-sensuality or the randomly capitalized You. It's like he had a vague idea that Capitalization Is Important, but had no idea where, so fuck it, I'll just throw it in here. You.



lol. Yeah I thought those were funny too.


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## liz (di-va) (Sep 12, 2010)

Carrie said:


> I don't know what's better here, the proud announcement of self-sensuality or the randomly capitalized You. It's like he had a vague idea that Capitalization Is Important, but had no idea where, so fuck it, I'll just throw it in here. You.


I want to see this exchange in real life:

"Hello."
"Hello."
"How are you?"
"I'm fine. You?"
"Good as well, thanks."
"That's good."
"Oh my, you are quite arousing."


----------



## Carrie (Sep 12, 2010)

liz (di-va) said:


> I want to see this exchange in real life:
> 
> "Hello."
> "Hello."
> ...



"Hi, can I help you?"
"Yes, I'm dropping off these shirts for cleaning."
"Okay, is tomorrow early enough for pick-up?"
"Sure, tomorrow will be fine."
.....pause.....
"Yes, very sensual here, too."


----------



## liz (di-va) (Sep 12, 2010)

Carrie said:


> "Hi, can I help you?"
> "Yes, I'm dropping off these shirts for cleaning."
> "Okay, is tomorrow early enough for pick-up?"
> "Sure, tomorrow will be fine."
> ...



"Excuse me--"
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry to bother you, but I can't find my phone. Can you tell me what time it is?"
"Of course. Just a sec."
"Thank you so much."
"It's...2:30."
"Okay! Great. Thank you again."
"No problem."
"Hate when that happens."
"Me too...you know," [yelling] "YOU LOOK SO AWESOME! JUST PERFECT! YOU WANNA GIVE ME THE PLEASURE TO KNOW YOU?"


----------



## Carrie (Sep 12, 2010)

liz (di-va) said:


> "Excuse me--"
> "Yes?"
> "I'm sorry to bother you, but I can't find my phone. Can you tell me what time it is?"
> "Of course. Just a sec."
> ...


I would actually pay pretty good money to be a fly on the wall watching you on a date with this guy. 

You: "So, uh, what kinds of movies do you like?"
Him: "Oh, you know, action/adventure, suspense, stuff like that. 'Avatar' is my favorite. [nodding. pause. yelling] "AHHHHHH I CAN'T STAND IT! YOUR BODY IS SO VOLUMPTUOUS! AND AWESOME! YOU WANNA GIVE ME THE PLEASURE TO TOUCH YOUR HINEY?"


----------



## Wild Zero (Sep 12, 2010)

Some random Turkish facebook fatty collector tagged a webmodel I'm friends with in a picture of his junk in boxer briefs.

Turkish fatty collectors possess so much game.


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## CastingPearls (Sep 12, 2010)

if you want to go sexy add me to spend pleasures bb 

huh?


slt cv tu es trroooopppppp belle <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 on pe devenir amis

double huh or maybe ce?


Hi, I liked burak you'd like to meet with you if you add me 

dunno what burak is....


Just u babe xxxx can almost picture u sucking it uuummmmm! 

that one was sent with a pic of his penis which was admittedly, impressive.


I think diction and syntax have become a lost art. SMH.


----------



## liz (di-va) (Sep 12, 2010)

Carrie said:


> You: "So, uh, what kinds of movies do you like?"
> Him: "Oh, you know, action/adventure, suspense, stuff like that. 'Avatar' is my favorite. [nodding. pause. yelling] "AHHHHHH I CAN'T STAND IT! YOUR BODY IS SO VOLUMPTUOUS! AND AWESOME! YOU WANNA GIVE ME THE PLEASURE TO TOUCH YOUR HINEY?"


Do you have his #?


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## Carrie (Sep 13, 2010)

liz (di-va) said:


> Do you have his #?


I et it. :really sad:


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## Angel (Sep 13, 2010)

Carrie said:


> I et it.



is ur belly nice and full? mmmmmmm


Please don't slap me! *giggles*


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## thirtiesgirl (Sep 14, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> if you want to go sexy add me to spend pleasures bb
> 
> huh?
> 
> ...



And a complete estrangement from the shift key.


----------



## mszwebs (Sep 14, 2010)

Here are some of my favorites:


_"amine morocco i want tosexy"


"que linda que eres muy grande eres me me gusta las mujeres como tu besos"

"My name is ***.I am a Male I was impressed when i saw your profile today and I will like to established a long lasting relationship with you. In addition, i will like you to add me at your chating ID at ***@hotmail.fr
or you give me your own chating ID so thats i will add you to my own chating ID through it we know each other.
I am interested in having a relationship with you so thats we know each other well for future.
Thank"

"i love yor profile on ssbbw i think you are one hot sexy big mama are you a model and what do you think of Capetown "_


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## Bigtigmom (Sep 17, 2010)

Now listen up ladies I think I might possibly have you all beat.
Two weeks ago on P.O.F. I received this message, never spoke to this guy before.

*"Do you spit, swallow or both?"*

My reply to him was:

For you? NONE You are disgusting and you have no clue how to speak to a woman. I suspect this is why you are still single. DO NOT contact me again!!!


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## LovelyLiz (Sep 17, 2010)

Bigtigmom said:


> Now listen up ladies I think I might possibly have you all beat.
> Two weeks ago on P.O.F. I received this message, never spoke to this guy before.
> 
> *"Do you spit, swallow or both?"*
> ...



Gah. What a clueless jerk. POF is definitely the worst for those sexualized first contact messages. I began to wonder if maybe they like those angry responses - like they somehow get off on the fact that they've incited a response from a woman or gotten under her skin. So now I just delete them without responding. It's not worth the time.


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## CastingPearls (Sep 17, 2010)

i like ur killer eyes and like 2 have a cute friend like u
hope 2 add me soon
i am waiting ur add 2 talk soon 

Another shift-key bandit from the Prince School of Internet Messaging.


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## Mikaila (Sep 17, 2010)

I swear some of the things they say... how can they think a woman would be impressed by those insulting or lame comments. 

I've had quite a few lame ones. I usually just ignore them for the most part. Gotta love the "Hi u r pretty, got any naked pics for me" messages. :doh: 

I couldn't help but laugh at some of those.. moreso how anyone could think that was a good thing to say to a lady. Geez...


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## spiritangel (Sep 18, 2010)

I am a business man here in Asia , I went through your profile and was attracted so much to me,

is the funniest one I got recently like seriously rolls eyes


omg I just got this one what a turn off

i was just checking out your profile baby and it really interest me.i`d love to be very close to like a friend or partners.i`m a very nice person.just try me .ok you can drop me a line too. 

he is supposed to be english where is the proper use of the language


and I just cant take messages like this seriously

Hello Pretty, How you doing? Just got on this site, this is my first time ever on a dating site. And I can't just help but to stop by and say hello to a pretty angel like you. I am James, from Kentucky, I am here to find my real love and soul mate to be together all my life, Hope you will be that person. Hoping to here from you soonest. not to mention his profile has that he needs a woman who knows how to take care of a man hmm you had her already she was called your mother 


this is why I see myself being single for a long damn time


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## Ample Pie (Sep 18, 2010)

Never heard from this fellow before and haven't heard from him since.


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## bmann0413 (Sep 18, 2010)

I just got one the other day while on OkCupid.

"Hey sexy. You want to come here and give me a Alabama hotpocket?"

I had to go look this up because I didn't know what was so great about a hotpocket from Alabama. Unfortunately, it ain't food. It's TOTALLY DISGUSTING. I hurried up and replied to her that she needs to go find some dude who's acutally willing to do some gross shit like that.


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## Paquito (Sep 18, 2010)

At least female creepers use proper punctuation and syntax.

Be grateful for small blessings.


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## JerseyGirl07093 (Sep 18, 2010)

bmann0413 said:


> I just got one the other day while on OkCupid.
> 
> "Hey sexy. You want to come here and give me a Alabama hotpocket?"
> 
> I had to go look this up because I didn't know what was so great about a hotpocket from Alabama. Unfortunately, it ain't food. It's TOTALLY DISGUSTING. I hurried up and replied to her that she needs to go find some dude who's acutally willing to do some gross shit like that.



Damn you for making me look that up!  :doh:


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## CastingPearls (Sep 18, 2010)

I did not need to know that.


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## spiritangel (Sep 18, 2010)

I am not even going to bother I think from the reaction I am better off not knowing


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## SuperMishe (Sep 18, 2010)

Bigtigmom said:


> Now listen up ladies I think I might possibly have you all beat.
> Two weeks ago on P.O.F. I received this message, never spoke to this guy before.
> 
> *"Do you spit, swallow or both?"*
> ...




LOL - I would have simply replied "I BITE" and ignored him!


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## SuperMishe (Sep 18, 2010)

Rebecca said:


> Never heard from this fellow before and haven't heard from him since.



Oooo - Can you give me his info - I'm having surgery next month and may need some assistance!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## SuperMishe (Sep 18, 2010)

The ones that make me go batshit are the scammers. How many of you have gotten emails that are generic as far as who they are addressed to but basically all say the same thing:
1. He is either widowed or divorced
2. has one child that lives with his parent
3. Is from one of the "middle" states like OH, IN, PA - never from east or west coast.
4. He is almost ALWAYS an engineer
5. He is currently working in either Nigeria, Ethiopia or Kenya
6. He is looking for a God fearing woman
7. The pic he attaches is "model gorgeous" 
8. He uses British english, even though he's "from Ohio.."

There are a few other similar things but I can't think of them right now.
Sometimes I will write back and say "Cut to the chase - do you want money or a green card" and they disappear or sometimes I even write back or chat back and tell them to get a new story. I ADVISE them to change it up a bit but they play dumb and eventually don't reply to me. I swear there's a class offered as part of a non-credit night school thing over in Africa somewhere. There's this one guy standing in front of the class teaching them the same story he's taught for years and they all go home and try it!!! AUGH!!


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## thirtiesgirl (Sep 18, 2010)

Yesterday, on Geek2Geek, a site originally created with the intent of bringing smart people together, I found this in my inbox, verbatim: 

"Hi,i wanna send a warm smile across the mile,by the way you look so cute..
Would you love to chat you can add me up--[username]@yahoo.com
Look forward to chat with you soon
Have a great day 
Hugs
[name]"

The message itself would suggest that either 1) English is not his first language; or 2) that this is not the dating site for him. Or choice 3: perhaps both.

Giving him the benefit of the doubt (instead of deleting the message on sight), I checked out his profile on which he states he has a masters degree, although he doesn't indicate what area of study. The picture with the profile (if it's really his) has a standard photo studio greyish background, and the guy in it looks like a cross between Eric Bana and Colin Farrell (i.e., rough hewn, dark haired hottness... like, _damn_).

Despite my suspicions (and perhaps the photo had some influence, too, heh), I wrote back to the guy, asking what he studied for his degree. This is the response I received, again verbatim:

"Hey i am glad to read from you again ,i had my masters in the uk and i studied civil engineering....what ado you do for a living?"

Is anyone else smelling a lying fake? And as to why I'm continuing a conversation with someone so estranged from the shift key and proper punctuation... I'll blame it on the picture.


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## liz (di-va) (Sep 18, 2010)

Received in the space of 25 min (all three emails from the same person, with no response from me):

"Your sound like you are a lot of fun. May God bless you."

"You sound perfect for me> But I am skinny, and you say you are hefty?"

"Hi again"


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## Carrie (Sep 18, 2010)

liz (di-va) said:


> Received in the space of 25 min (all three emails from the same person, with no response from me):
> 
> "Your sound like you are a lot of fun. May God bless you."
> 
> ...


I was debating between "hefty" and "corpulent" to describe myself in my own ad, and finally decided corpulent was much more presidential, soooooo.


----------



## FreekiTiki (Sep 18, 2010)

Wow, I bet I could learn some new skills from these spammers  
These guys are so smooth.


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## Tau (Sep 19, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Tip for guys: Telling a girl that you just met online that you get turned on by repeatedly gagging a girl with your manhood...and that it turns you on to hear her gag over and over...not really a great way to get her to want to go out with you.
> 
> Just fyi.




I wander how people like this ignore the existence of teeth...


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## Dmitra (Sep 19, 2010)

Tau said:


> I wander how people like this ignore the existence of teeth...



These assholes probably wait til the roofies have kicked in.

Part of me is cringing that I just said that but, holy JC, there are people like that out there.


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## Famouslastwords (Sep 19, 2010)

Carrie said:


> I was debating between "hefty" and "corpulent" to describe myself in my own ad, and finally decided corpulent was much more presidential, soooooo.



Hefty reminds me of trash bags.


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## Carrie (Sep 19, 2010)

Famouslastwords said:


> Hefty reminds me of trash bags.


Me too. I was kidding thar.


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## Famouslastwords (Sep 19, 2010)

Carrie said:


> Me too. I was kidding thar.



Oh I got the joke about the corpulent I just missed the sarcasm about hefty. My bad =(


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## KendraLee (Oct 5, 2010)

yeah so this isnt from a dating site it was a friend request on facebook and the persons profile name is Fatty Hunter. That alone is enough for me to deny the friend request but I was still curious as to what kind of person would use that name so I looked at his profile and it didnt get any better.This is what was on it............

Bio what I have to say is.....bbws are my life I love big girls with a big boobies and booty.....I know am a bad boy 

Favorite Quotations love big fat girls....they r mmmmmm taste good for me.....lol 

.........yeah definitely someone I'd accept


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## willowmoon (Oct 5, 2010)

KendraLee said:


> yeah so this isnt from a dating site it was a friend request on facebook and the persons profile name is Fatty Hunter. That alone is enough for me to deny the friend request but I was still curious as to what kind of person would use that name so I looked at his profile and it didnt get any better.This is what was on it............
> 
> Bio what I have to say is.....bbws are my life I love big girls with a big boobies and booty.....I know am a bad boy
> 
> ...



So you're saying I should change my facebook profile name now?!? What the f**k?!?

J/K, of course.


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## AuntHen (Oct 5, 2010)

willowmoon said:


> So you're saying I should change my facebook profile name now?!? What the f**k?!?
> 
> J/K, of course.




Somebody rep this man a 2nd time for me!!! AHHHhahahahahahaha I laughed so hard it made such a horrible sound


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## Dmitra (Oct 6, 2010)

fat9276 said:


> Somebody rep this man a 2nd time for me!!! AHHHhahahahahahaha I laughed so hard it made such a horrible sound



I got yer back, horrible sound and all!


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## MissHoney (Oct 6, 2010)

I got this little lovely recently:

"Ur a dam fine woman but im gonna need a ass pic before i kno if this can go anywhere."

Uhm, I'll get right on that...


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## willowmoon (Oct 6, 2010)

MissHoney said:


> I got this little lovely recently:
> 
> "Ur a dam fine woman but im gonna need a ass pic before i kno if this can go anywhere."
> 
> Uhm, I'll get right on that...



FAILGASM!!


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## cinnamitch (Oct 6, 2010)

I came online to this lovely offline message this morning

"wow! you came online pretty angel, come let chat now cos i have been waiting to hear from you babe you looks *sweat* i swear."

After I take a shower to get this "sweat" off of me, I will be sure to remember to keep my status offline. Ahh I am blessed with admirers like this. I think the blessings can go on to someone else now:happy:


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## MissHoney (Oct 6, 2010)

I am so adding that to my pickup line repertoire.

"Mmm, baby... you look so sweat."


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## cinnamitch (Oct 6, 2010)

MissHoney said:


> I am so adding that to my pickup line repertoire.
> 
> "Mmm, baby... you look so sweat."



I guess I am at that age where I am no longer "hot", I'm "sweat" instead.


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## SuperGuyver (Oct 6, 2010)

I`m the kind of guy who is conflicted but good hearted.I`m walked all over by girls.I`ve never even been asked out on a date...


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## Jes (Oct 7, 2010)

SuperGuyver said:


> I`m the kind of guy who is conflicted but good hearted.I`m walked all over by girls.I`ve never even been asked out on a date...



Wait--is this a line given to you, or a line you're giving to all of us? I don't think it's gonna be a winner, boobookitty!


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## Ola (Oct 7, 2010)

lol, on another forum, I was once mistaken for a girl by another member, and the message I got from him was something along the following lines (I recite from memory)

_"Hello, I saw you post in my thread earlier today. I noticed you are a couple of years younger than me, but you seem to have a pretty strong personality and I have always dreamt of being dominated by a younger woman. Something tells me you have had similar fantasies. Sounds like a match made in heaven? We should chat for a bit and get to know each other..."_


Safe to say I never wrote back...


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## MissHoney (Oct 8, 2010)

I got this one today...

"Hi

If I had you we'd run like gypsies in the wind We'd be lovers and we'd be friends
if I had you If I had you we'd count the stars all one by one We'd make things Happened around us..,

if I had you Cause you light a fire way down in my soul The flame keeps growin stronger there ain't no control And there's nothing, no there's nothing I know there's nothing that I wouldn't do If I had you ?


If I had you we'd sail the seven seas as one We'd never say it can't be done
oh if I had you Cause you light a fire way down in my soul The flame keeps growin stronger there ain't no control And there's nothing, no there's nothing I know there's nothing that I wouldn't do If I had you...!!!!
*
This poem was made specially for you*

Have a splendid day ahead and get back to me asap!

I'll be waiting patiently!

Ciao!"


It's an Alabama song...
:doh:


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## KendraLee (Oct 8, 2010)

MissHoney said:


> I got this one today...
> 
> "Hi
> 
> ...



ahahaha, thats hilarious


----------



## willowmoon (Oct 9, 2010)

MissHoney said:


> I got this one today...
> 
> "Hi
> 
> ...



Hilarious! Some of these guys that try to present songs, poems & such as being their own creations are pretty dumb. Didn't they ever hear of Google where someone could easily check it out to make sure they're not full of shit? :doh:


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## Aust99 (Oct 9, 2010)

Just rejoined a site and on the same night got these two gems

" I think we have alot in common I can be a little naughty sometimes" 

OK then....

and "I'm a hairdresser, can I cut your hair??"


Yawn! lol


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## BigBeautifulMe (Oct 21, 2010)

Hi everyone,

I got mcbeth's blessing on this a while back (I thought I should, because this thread idea was hers) to create a blog with this theme. I'd like to use some of these stories as content. If you're okay with me using what you posted, would you please post in this thread and tell me it's okay? I won't use any if the author doesn't specifically tell me it's alright. Thanks. 

This is going to be the location.


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## LovelyLiz (Oct 21, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> I got mcbeth's blessing on this a while back (I thought I should, because this thread idea was hers) to create a blog with this theme. I'd like to use some of these stories as content. If you're okay with me using what you posted, would you please post in this thread and tell me it's okay? I won't use any if the author doesn't specifically tell me it's alright. Thanks.
> 
> This is going to be the location.



AWESOME! I love this. I even almost started another thread recently for hilarious lines in people's internet dating profiles. There are some really hilarious lines out there... I still might!

Just remember, when you sell the movie/book rights to your blog, I get half.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Oct 21, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> AWESOME! I love this. I even almost started another thread recently for hilarious lines in people's internet dating profiles. There are some really hilarious lines out there... I still might!
> 
> Just remember, when you sell the movie/book rights to your blog, I get half.


LOL!  more text here


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## BigBeautifulMe (Oct 22, 2010)

*Bump* This thread has 10 pages of posts - pleaaaase can I use someone's story?


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## LalaCity (Oct 22, 2010)

Ok, I was going to start a thread called "Awkward Facebook Encounters," but I see this thread already exists.

I sort of inadvertently created a monster when I "friend" requested a guy from Bangladesh whose picture I *thought* I had seen on someone's page (think a mustachio'd Elvis from the Indian Sub-Continent). Then the following exchange transpired between me and a faceless guy who refuses to "sec" his pic to me:

Parvas Khan October 13 at 10:40pm Report
I am parvas from bangladesh.i want to be your best friend.please receive me as your best friend.waiting for you respond.

Lara Wilkinson October 13 at 10:43pm
Hello Parvas -- I chose you at random from 6 billion people in the world because I liked your photo! So you are special! Yes, we can be best friends, if you like -- you would be my very first friend from Bangladesh!

Parvas Khan October 13 at 10:46pm Report
ok.but every friend is not same as you seem ,i say i am different from than.i will give you pic before we need to close then pic.i will be happy if i got you in my life.bay

Lara Wilkinson October 13 at 10:51pm
Well, I thought you already had a picture. But you should use the one I saw on your page as your "avatar." It is very nice!

Parvas Khan October 14 at 12:09am Report
please do not angry with me.i will give you everything but you should be wait for this.i want to relation with you then everything.i give you my mail and mobile address [email protected] and +018------- .if you like to give your address then i will be happy to you.
really i am happy to got you in my life.waiting for you reply.love

Parvas Khan October 16 at 12:48am Report
Do you angry with me. Actually LARA i love you.please i want you in my life.send me everything about your address.wait for you.
parvas

Lara Wilkinson October 16 at 12:55am
Parvas, I'm not angry with you. I'm just in the habit of sometimes sending out friend requests to people in different parts of the world to have a bit of fun and meet people from interesting places. I don't know what you look like (even though I thought I saw your picture when I first requested you as a facebook friend -- but perhaps I misremember), nor do I know anything at all about you...So it is a bit soon to be speaking of "love," wouldn't you agree?

Parvas Khan October 16 at 1:10am Report
think you for reply.
Really LARA i love.i never love any girl in my life.But it is sudden that i feel very much love to sec your pic.I do not know what is the matter.Why am i so interesting about you.May be i will be happy if i got you in my life.It is depend only your decision.I will give you my pic.But i am not as so beautiful as your country people but not black.I always follow up my religious correctly .I am muslim boy.I am 25 now.So do not back or return my love offer.I know that every people has self choice and also your.Love do not depend by sec pic only depend in heart.May be you will understand what i say.
I LOVE YOU .Waiting your reply.GIVE ME YOUR MAIL ADDRESS .
PARVAS

Parvas Khan October 16 at 2:24am Report
please dont angry with me, lara. i love you really.give me your e-mail address.i also give you my yahoo id parvas7--

Parvas Khan October 16 at 2:25am Report
you give me your yahoo id

Lara Wilkinson October 16 at 11:59am
Parvas -- I am not saying I would be your friend ONLY if you were physically attractive, but you can hardly expect me to FALL IN LOVE with you when I have never seen you before in my life! I think you are getting a little carried away here. First of all, I'm 36 years old and probably too old to be your wife, if that's what you are thinking. Second, I am not Muslim and, to be honest, religion of any kind does not interest me. Third, I have lived my life as you might expect from an American woman -- I have had lots of boyfriends, in other words, and this would probably be offensive to you as a strict Muslim. 

And you should not be ashamed of yourself because you are not white. There are beautiful people of every skin color. And because I come from a mostly white culture, white people are actually not very interesting to me and not my ideal of beauty, necessarily. 

So what I am trying to say is that you don't have to be embarrassed to show me your picture. (Of course, if you really don't want to show it to me you don't have to and we can still be friends.)

But I find it strange that after exchanging a few sentences with me you are already "in love."

P.S. I don't have a yahoo ID. I don't use yahoo.

Parvas Khan October 16 at 7:35pm Report
my heart lara,
really i am happy now to got you.you have said me that is not matter.
As i say you that i love you.so it is real.i will never change my decision.
i am still now that i love you.you have said me that caused.it is not cause in love.so give me love from your heart.i want to know from your mouth that you say me i love you.then i will be happy and i got a perfect girl in my life.so,give me your mail address.i want you in my heart.life will be finish oneday but love will be stray.waiting for you.
yours
parvas

Lara Wilkinson October 16 at 7:43pm
Parvas, please explain how you can be "in love with me" when you know absolutely nothing about me? I think it takes time for two people to get to know one another (it also helps if they have actually met...).
I think maybe you are just having some kind of a fantasy about falling in love with a girl from a far-away land. I don't know anything about you, so maybe you had better tell me a little bit more about your life, instead of just telling me that you "love" me so much.

Parvas Khan October 16 at 8:13pm Report
realy i do not know why i love you so much.but it is real.i do not explain about you in this my love.now i want to know that do you love me,yes or not ?age is not matter about my love but matter you.if you reject me then it may be i do not live because it is very deep day by day for you in my love.i am waiting for you .please receive me in your heart.keep a place in your heart.forgot everything that have happened in your life and start new life with me.then you will be happy that i think.i love you,i love you .now i say that you are my girlfriend if you declare me.
yours heart of love
parvas

Parvas Khan October 16 at 8:13pm Report
i love you .i want you.

Lara Wilkinson October 16 at 8:40pm
Parvas, I cannot say that I love you -- I am sorry! I have never met you! Please be reasonable. Over time we shall talk and become better friends and, who knows, maybe one day we will meet. If it were so easy to find love don't you think I would have a husband by now? It is hard to find true love but it must be based on real feelings, not fantasy.

Parvas Khan October 16 at 8:55pm Report
ok.you do not understand me .
bay bay

Parvas Khan October 17 at 1:40am Report
lara,i know that you do not receive me as you boyfriend.but receive me as you best friend.Really i can not forgot you.so,i want to stray within you.waiting for you reply

Lara Wilkinson October 17 at 1:55am
Yes, of course! That is what I wanted in the first place -- to make friends. 

Parvas Khan October 17 at 1:59am Report
thank you my heart friend.What is you profession ?What is you service?
please tell me.waiting for you reply.do you chat with me in face book?

Lara Wilkinson October 17 at 2:04am
Parvas, I have gone back to school to study "international relations." I am a student at the University of California (Santa Barbara). And, yes -- here I am chatting with you on face book -- though I'd rather do it this way as opposed to the official chat window, because it is so small and hard to read. Also, I don't want other people to know I'm online because then I'll have to enter into several conversations at once, perhaps.
So, what is it you do in life?

Parvas Khan October 17 at 2:11am Report
thank you .now i go out .i meet you later.my heart

Lara Wilkinson October 17 at 2:12am
Ok, Parvas. Speak soon.

Parvas Khan October 17 at 7:53pm Report
hi my heart,
how are you now?i give you a beautiful mind from me. i am waiting for you on line now.Are you on line now.

Lara Wilkinson October 17 at 7:55pm
Yes, Parvas, but I am just going out, so I will have to catch up with you very soon, Hope you're well!

Parvas Khan October 17 at 8:00pm Report
thank you my heart.i am very very happy to hear this news from you.really you are very nice and beaut.waiting for you.

Parvas Khan October 17 at 8:05pm Report
SEND ME A MAIL [email protected]

Parvas Khan October 17 at 10:08pm Report
hi my heart,
when you will go to on line .parvas waiting for you.

Parvas Khan October 18 at 2:05am Report
Hi heart, tomorro i wil go out of city f 2days.
Sent via Facebook Mobile

Parvas Khan October 20 at 7:20pm Report
hi my heart,
may be you are happy.but i am unhappy because i h no scoped to chatting with you as you do not your yahoo id.now i am waiting for you.on line.please do not angry with me.my heart

Parvas Khan October 20 at 7:22pm Report
hi i am on line my heart.please reply me

Parvas Khan October 20 at 7:47pm Report
my heart,waiting for you reply and mail address

Parvas Khan October 20 at 7:55pm Report
do you angry with me?

Parvas Khan October 20 at 9:21pm Report
please do not angry with me my heart .i want to live with you as a best friend.

Parvas Khan October 20 at 11:14pm Report
Do you forgot me,LARA?


----------



## LovelyLiz (Oct 23, 2010)

I love you Lalacity. Thank you for cracking me up.

(BTW...the name is familiar...maybe I got a message from him too! I do remember *someone* from Bangladesh who wanted to be my new best friend...)


----------



## CastingPearls (Oct 23, 2010)

There's only one guy in Bangladesh and he keeps striking out with everyone.

Sad, really.


----------



## ManBeef (Oct 23, 2010)

As a male, this is all I can say to help in this. If you are going to post a picture of you in a provocative pose or with your goodies hanging out, expect to hear typical male sexual nonsense. Adult or not males are driven by what we see. When you post "sexually explicit" pictures it is you that is opening the flood gates. Not saying that this is the case for most. But it is a major factor. Also remember, BBWs are just a fetish to a lot of people on those sites. It sucks because it ruins it for the rest.


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## KendraLee (Oct 23, 2010)

ManBeef said:


> As a male, this is all I can say to help in this. If you are going to post a picture of you in a provocative pose or with your goodies hanging out, expect to hear typical male sexual nonsense. Adult or not males are driven by what we see. When you post "sexually explicit" pictures it is you that is opening the flood gates. Not saying that this is the case for most. But it is a major factor. Also remember, BBWs are just a fetish to a lot of people on those sites. It sucks because it ruins it for the rest.



As a male you dont have to say anything to help in this. I dont think this thread is about bashing men its more so about bringing attention to the humorous and often unbelievable stupidity we've all faced, whether its from a dating web site, forum, social networking site we belong to, or as used to be the case for me years ago, chat rooms. The males I have dealt with didnt need to see a sexually explicit picture or any picture for that matter to feel free to ask for cyber sex, to inquire as to the size of my chest or favorite sexual position or send me a picture of their penis. I dont care if being a fat woman makes me a fetish to someone it still does not give a person the right to treat me with disrespect.
I recently had a man respond to a picture of me on a friends page by asking what my "milk pocket size was". Even after being told his question was rude and disrespectful he still persisted in trying to find out because as he put it "I like her so muchhhh". He thought the only thing wrong with his question after being chastised was that he asked it openly so he then tried friend requesting me and even after denying him twice he sent me numerous personal messages asking what size my chest is. Now thats stupidity.
I dont mean this as an attack on you as I'm sure you are a decent person but what you said sparked a bit of a nerve


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## Blackjack (Oct 23, 2010)

ManBeef said:


> As a male, this is all I can say to help in this. If you are going to post a picture of you in a provocative pose or with your goodies hanging out, expect to hear typical male sexual nonsense. Adult or not males are driven by what we see. When you post "sexually explicit" pictures it is you that is opening the flood gates. Not saying that this is the case for most. But it is a major factor. Also remember, BBWs are just a fetish to a lot of people on those sites. It sucks because it ruins it for the rest.



Also, if you dress slutty, you're really just opening yourself up to catcalls, rape, gropes, being hit on by creepy guys, and rape.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Oct 23, 2010)

OMG LALA!!!!!!! lol, you have WAY more patience than I do....my heart, lol.

bay bay!


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## LillyBBBW (Oct 23, 2010)

ManBeef said:


> As a male, this is all I can say to help in this. If you are going to post a picture of you in a provocative pose or with your goodies hanging out, expect to hear typical male sexual nonsense. Adult or not males are driven by what we see. When you post "sexually explicit" pictures it is you that is opening the flood gates. Not saying that this is the case for most. But it is a major factor. Also remember, BBWs are just a fetish to a lot of people on those sites. It sucks because it ruins it for the rest.



Oh gawd. It's the ever lovin' "boys will be boys" schtick. Newsflash: at 400+ pounds my goodies are ALWAYS hanging out. You really think this excuse still works for you? When I was two and I saw someone eating cake I would rudely walk up to them licking my lips and asking for a bite. I still do that only now my speech patterns are much improved.


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## cinnamitch (Oct 23, 2010)

ManBeef said:


> As a male, this is all I can say to help in this. If you are going to post a picture of you in a provocative pose or with your goodies hanging out, expect to hear typical male sexual nonsense. Adult or not males are driven by what we see. When you post "sexually explicit" pictures it is you that is opening the flood gates. Not saying that this is the case for most. But it is a major factor. Also remember, BBWs are just a fetish to a lot of people on those sites. It sucks because it ruins it for the rest.



Well then the solution would be for women to give these type of "men" a swift kick in the balls and walk away while they think about this "fetish" of theirs.


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## LalaCity (Oct 23, 2010)

Haha, yes, all -- Parvas was inadvertently quite poetic when he declared that he wanted to "stray within me.."

Bay!


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## LovelyLiz (Oct 23, 2010)

LalaCity said:


> Haha, yes, all -- Parvas was inadvertently quite poetic when he declared that he wanted to "stray within me.."
> 
> Bay!



I almost quoted that very line, my heart.

You are a kind woman.


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## ManBeef (Oct 23, 2010)

KendraLee said:


> As a male you dont have to say anything to help in this. I dont think this thread is about bashing men its more so about bringing attention to the humorous and often unbelievable stupidity we've all faced, whether its from a dating web site, forum, social networking site we belong to, or as used to be the case for me years ago, chat rooms. The males I have dealt with didnt need to see a sexually explicit picture or any picture for that matter to feel free to ask for cyber sex, to inquire as to the size of my chest or favorite sexual position or send me a picture of their penis. I dont care if being a fat woman makes me a fetish to someone it still does not give a person the right to treat me with disrespect.
> I recently had a man respond to a picture of me on a friends page by asking what my "milk pocket size was". Even after being told his question was rude and disrespectful he still persisted in trying to find out because as he put it "I like her so muchhhh". He thought the only thing wrong with his question after being chastised was that he asked it openly so he then tried friend requesting me and even after denying him twice he sent me numerous personal messages asking what size my chest is. Now thats stupidity.
> I dont mean this as an attack on you as I'm sure you are a decent person but what you said sparked a bit of a nerve



This is why I didn't say all men. These guys automatically think big women have low self esteem & that they will give in to this sexual behavior because they are lacking or want the attention. THIS IS OF COURSE NOT ALWAYS THE CASE BECAUSE THERE ARE JUST CLUELESS PERVS ABOUT. But it is a truth for some. I know it sucks. I use to be slightly the same. But to females I was actually into & I sure as hell let them know I was a tad pervy so that they could steer clear if they wanted nothing to do with me.


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## ManBeef (Oct 23, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> Oh gawd. It's the ever lovin' "boys will be boys" schtick. Newsflash: at 400+ pounds my goodies are ALWAYS hanging out. You really think this excuse still works for you? When I was two and I saw someone eating cake I would rudely walk up to them licking my lips and asking for a bite. I still do that only now my speech patterns are much improved.



No one said anything about boys will be boys. I am just saying if you are going to dress in a revealing tone & post pics for the masses to see, expect these comments to come your way. If the clothes don't fit, stop denying that you are a big size, own it, & wear it. There is no excuse for 75% of a females breasts to be hanging out. Even in swim suits, they make them large enough to cover a good portion of all that flesh. I posted that for those females that agree &/or get upset when they are posting pictures that need not be made public. I know not all females do this. For them, it's just bad luck & lame ass males.


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## ManBeef (Oct 23, 2010)

cinnamitch said:


> Well then the solution would be for women to give these type of "men" a swift kick in the balls and walk away while they think about this "fetish" of theirs.



No, because we need to respect one another as individuals. In this case, kick all fetish holders in the nuts. Including females. If they have a fat fetish, good for them, erase the message, then block them. Simple as that. Or just ignore them. We aren't all perfect. We expect others to except our flaws for the most part but are ever ready to cry war when theirs upset us. Not too cool there.


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## DeerVictory (Oct 23, 2010)

nevermind. not worth it. :/


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## Famouslastwords (Oct 24, 2010)

I guess I should never go out in a swimsuit because I own a size bigger than what I am and 75% of my tits STILL hang out. It's just how they made bathing suits. You're *totally* right though, as is BJ. THE WIMMINZ WHO POST PICTURES WITH THEIR GOODIES HANGING OUT DESERVE TEH RAPES. Remember ladies, "you can't spell grape juice without rape juice." (Thank you Sarah Silverman for your wisdom.)


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## ManBeef (Oct 24, 2010)

Famouslastwords said:


> I guess I should never go out in a swimsuit because I own a size bigger than what I am and 75% of my tits STILL hang out. It's just how they made bathing suits. You're *totally* right though, as is BJ. THE WIMMINZ WHO POST PICTURES WITH THEIR GOODIES HANGING OUT DESERVE TEH RAPES. Remember ladies, "you can't spell grape juice without rape juice." (Thank you Sarah Silverman for your wisdom.)



Hey hey hey now... I never said people that dress slutty or post them there pics deserve or are asking for rape. That was someone else. I simply said don't complain when you get the cat calls. No one deserves rape. Except maybe rapist. & if this is true then you might just be a little too blessed in the milk caddy area I am not trying to excuse males either. Like I said, this is just to those that post pics &/or dress in an "explicit" fashion. If this does not apply to you then I am sorry you have the bad luck to run into the lame side of my fellow sex.


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## CastingPearls (Oct 24, 2010)

Evidently we don't even need to leave this thread to run into the lame side of your fellow sex.


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## ManBeef (Oct 24, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> Evidently we don't even need to leave this thread to run into the lame side of your fellow sex.



Everything that I said has base. If I dress like a gangster & get beat up for it, hardly anyone sits & says "Awww, poor guy, I bet he was nice." It's usually "He's a cholo, he knew what he got into." Same goes for those that dress too sexual or post pics of themselves half nekkid. I am not saying YOU DESERVE THE COMMENTS. Simply to expect them. If that is something that doesn't apply to you then let it go.


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## ManBeef (Oct 24, 2010)

If what I post offends/upsets any of you than I apologize. This is just how I feel. This isn't directed to any specific person or group. I want to make it clear that I do not condone any mistreatment of anyone that doesn't deserve it. I am ending it here because I am pretty sure that most took this the wrong way. Once again, sorry


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## Paquito (Oct 24, 2010)

I got an offer to have someone suck my nipples while I drink milkshakes.

I also got called the Ultimate, Ultramodern, Prize Bigboy!




DISTRACTION


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## ManBeef (Oct 24, 2010)

Paquito said:


> I got an offer to have someone suck my nipples while I drink milkshakes.
> 
> I also got called the Ultimate, Ultramodern, Prize Bigboy!
> 
> ...



... What flavor milkshake?
& does it bring the girls to the yard?


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## LovelyLiz (Oct 24, 2010)

I am not a mod, but can we get back on topic? Here, I'll just post my most recent message from POF, even tho it's probably not crazy, just to be somewhat on topic:

Subject line: good time
Body of message: hi there how you doing

It's really the subject line that is kind of wtf.


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## Paquito (Oct 24, 2010)

My milkshakes bring EVERYONE to the yard. 


Chocolate.


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## ManBeef (Oct 24, 2010)

Paquito said:


> My milkshakes bring EVERYONE to the yard.
> 
> 
> Chocolate.



I had Chocolate/Pumpkin swirl from Pink Berry... just the thought of more chocolate... Yeesh. & I bet it does sir +snaps in a circle+


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## DeerVictory (Oct 24, 2010)

Here's an example of what happens when girls have profiles on dating sites. I can assure you that in none of my pictures I have even the slightest bit of cleavage, the most skin you can see are my hands. 

AND YET, these are the messages I've gotten so far:

For the record, I clarify in my profile that I'm fat (as well as provide full body pictures)

" im very cute and you look very sexy in those dresses, your not fat at all, i can guess ur weight if you sit on my face."

and from a different user:

"I would lick every curve on your sexy body".

These are examples from the past 24 hours. And these comments wouldn't be any more welcomed if I had put a picture of me in just my bra on those websites. 

I also have to deal with being semi-harassed on OkCupid (and trust me, I'm not any more scantily clad on that website than on the one I just described) by some guy who wants me to be his "Marilyn Monroe" and who deletes his profile and re-creates it after I've blocked him and repeatedly not responded. :/ But I'm sure that's just 'cause my tits are all over the place.

*I'm sorry, I just get a little cranky when I have these complaints or I get these messages and don't act as though I relish every comment, the first question I'm asked is "HURR WHAT WERE YOU WEARING WHEN THEY ASKED YOU".


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## ManBeef (Oct 24, 2010)

DeerVictory said:


> Here's an example of what happens when girls have profiles on dating sites. I can assure you that in none of my pictures I have even the slightest bit of cleavage, the most skin you can see are my hands.
> 
> AND YET, these are the messages I've gotten so far:
> 
> ...



This is why I said in another post the clothing thing isn't always a factor. Sometimes guys just do this stuff. So if you go through this, sorry. All I was saying is that =IF YOU DO HAVE THESE PICS UP YOU CAN'T COMPLAIN= because you are bring that attention to yourself. I never once said this was ALL of you problems. So please don't misread what I posted


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## Inhibited (Oct 24, 2010)

DeerVictory said:


> Here's an example of what happens when girls have profiles on dating sites. I can assure you that in none of my pictures I have even the slightest bit of cleavage, the most skin you can see are my hands.
> 
> AND YET, these are the messages I've gotten so far:
> 
> ...



I agree, i get sexual comments as well and i don't even have a pic on my profile, bet ur all surprised by that , anyway they don't even care about looks or personality as long as your female...


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## Inhibited (Oct 24, 2010)

ManBeef said:


> This is why I said in another post the clothing thing isn't always a factor. Sometimes guys just do this stuff. So if you go through this, sorry. All I was saying is that =IF YOU DO HAVE THESE PICS UP YOU CAN'T COMPLAIN= because you are bring that attention to yourself. I never once said this was ALL of you problems. So please don't misread what I posted



I know others don't but i kinda agree with you... If you are liking the attention by all means post what ever pic you like, but if you are complaining about all the attention change your pic...


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## ManBeef (Oct 24, 2010)

Inhibited said:


> I know others don't but i kinda agree with you... If you are liking the attention by all means post what ever pic you like, but if you are complaining about all the attention change your pic...



FINALLY!!! +Gives you a gigantore kiss on the cheek+ They aren't grasping what I posted. I am glad you understood somewhat. They think I am talking about everyone. You see that some on these females have no pic or aren't dressed slutty in pics but still feel as if I am blaming them. I made it clear I was talking about those that DO HAVE THESE TYPES OF PICTURES & EVEN SAID THAT IF THEY DIDN'T THEN IT DIDN'T APPLY TO THEM. But that still wasn't seen


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## BigBeautifulMe (Oct 24, 2010)

Here's the problem with your backpedaling, ManBeef: You wouldn't have posted what you did unless you were *assuming* (the key part of that word is the first three letters) that the women who have posted in this thread must be posting revealing pictures in order to get the responses they have. There is zero other reason for you to have posted it. That was an entirely sexist assumption to make, and it is that that people here are reacting to. 

By the way, Blackjack's post was mocking you, not agreeing with you. He's entirely right that "women who post provocative pictures deserve all the sexual comments they get" is the very same attitude as "women who dress provocatively deserve it if they're sexually assaulted."

You also say you're not telling us "boys will be boys." And yet, you are saying men are incapable of restraining themselves from sending sexual messages when they see a woman wearing revealing clothing, and placing the blame onto the woman. That certainly tells us a lot about _you_, but at the same time it does a disservice to your gender. Not all men are dogs that see a tasty treat and run after it without thought, just as not all men send sexual messages to women with revealing pictures. Some actually have the intelligence to know how to interact with women on an intellectual level before they attempt moving to a sexual level, even when those women have revealing photos. 

A woman having posted a revealing photo does not give you license to send sexual comments any more than a woman wearing a revealing outfit gives you license to touch her without her permission.


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## Inhibited (Oct 24, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Not all men are dogs that see a tasty treat and run after it without thought, just as not all men send sexual messages to women with revealing pictures. Some actually have the intelligence to know how to interact with women on an intellectual level before they attempt moving to a sexual level, even when those women have revealing photos.



The sexual intent is still there though no matter how they word it. I saves my time and there time if they don't play the game and pretend to be genuine.
I would rather them just say what they want so i can just say NO and they can message someone else instead of wasting my time and pretending to interact on an intelligent level and wait to meet up for their real intent to be known.
Oh and i do say there will be sexual contact before meeting..


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## ManBeef (Oct 24, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Here's the problem with your backpedaling, ManBeef: You wouldn't have posted what you did unless you were *assuming* (the key part of that word is the first three letters) that the women who have posted in this thread must be posting revealing pictures in order to get the responses they have. There is zero other reason for you to have posted it. That was an entirely sexist assumption to make, and it is that that people here are reacting to.
> 
> By the way, Blackjack's post was mocking you, not agreeing with you. He's entirely right that "women who post provocative pictures deserve all the sexual comments they get" is the very same attitude as "women who dress provocatively deserve it if they're sexually assaulted."
> 
> ...



Aren't you assuming here too then? Seeing as you do not know PERSONALLY what it was that I was trying to get across. The post is clear. If you post pics of that nature, expect it. Simple. So chill out bucko & see the post for what it is. A SIMPLE COMMENT STATING FOR THE BILLIONTH TIME THAT SOME PEOPLE POST PICS LIKE THAT OR HAVE A MASSIVE AMOUNT OF CLEAVAGE SHOWING. Once again this is why I posted saying if this is not you then there are other factors that MIGHT play a part. Them being it's a guy with a fetish or just a perv. A man not being able to help himself when seeing a pic has nothing to do with boys will be boys. !!!THIS IS WHY I ALSO POSTED THAT THIS DOESN'T APPLY TO ALL MEN!!! How is saying expect sexual comments for wearing/posting pics of you in revealing clothes taken for anything other than what it is? This is why it was taboo to show a lot of skin back in the old days. It still holds true. Some men see skin & think bad thoughts or even comment. Go look up the studies done on this matter. If you want to live in a fantasy lala land where they just do this for no reason then fine. But there is a genesis for everything. I was only listing a few. I am done with this. If you can't be adult or open enough to realize, "Hey, it's true, some people do post naughty pics or have fetishes or are just pervs" then I am sorry for you. End, Done. I'm no longer going about this thread. 

By the by, it was my grandmother that taught my mother about dressing modestly. My mother then taught me about the respect a woman's attire demands. Over this now. Ciao


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## DeerVictory (Oct 24, 2010)

ManBeef said:


> Aren't you assuming here too then? Seeing as you do not know PERSONALLY what it was that I was trying to get across. The post is clear. If you post pics of that nature, expect it. Simple. So chill out bucko & see the post for what it is. A SIMPLE COMMENT STATING FOR THE BILLIONTH TIME THAT SOME PEOPLE POST PICS LIKE THAT OR HAVE A MASSIVE AMOUNT OF CLEAVAGE SHOWING. Once again this is why I posted saying if this is not you then there are other factors that MIGHT play a part. Them being it's a guy with a fetish or just a perv. A man not being able to help himself when seeing a pic has nothing to do with boys will be boys. !!!THIS IS WHY I ALSO POSTED THAT THIS DOESN'T APPLY TO ALL MEN!!! How is saying expect sexual comments for wearing/posting pics of you in revealing clothes taken for anything other than what it is? This is why it was taboo to show a lot of skin back in the old days. It still holds true. Some men see skin & think bad thoughts or even comment. Go look up the studies done on this matter. If you want to live in a fantasy lala land where they just do this for no reason then fine. But there is a genesis for everything. I was only listing a few. I am done with this. If you can't be adult or open enough to realize, "Hey, it's true, some people do post naughty pics or have fetishes or are just pervs" then I am sorry for you. End, Done. I'm no longer going about this thread.
> 
> By the by, it was my grandmother that taught my mother about dressing modestly. My mother then taught me about the respect a woman's attire demands. Over this now. Ciao



Well, congrats on missing the point entirely.


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## Ruffie (Oct 24, 2010)

Dear Selfish People;

I am truly hurt and fed up by your behaviour. You have taken advantage of my good nature, work ethic, nurturing family persona to get what YOU want. I am tired of your games, what gives you the right??? I am most angry that people that society says are supposed to love you because of blood ties and profess to love you only do so with conditions. No matter what I have done its never enough and now I am telling all of you that I have had enough. I write this here cause even though I have said this to these folks previously you wouldn't care if I were to say this directly to you because YOUR SELFISH!


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## CastingPearls (Oct 24, 2010)

I've had profile pics with my face only. Unless I'm wearing a burkha....what else do I cover? Maybe I should cut back on the mascara. Hmmm.....I get comments all the time based on that alone. Many crude. It doesn't matter what we wear. And yes..even with my panda avatar I get comments.....so whatever....


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## KendraLee (Oct 24, 2010)

ManBeef said:


> This is why I said in another post the clothing thing isn't always a factor. Sometimes guys just do this stuff. So if you go through this, sorry. All I was saying is that =IF YOU DO HAVE THESE PICS UP YOU CAN'T COMPLAIN= because you are bring that attention to yourself. I never once said this was ALL of you problems. So please don't misread what I posted



You need to stop. Look at the title of this thread. We are sharing our experiences. Not looking for some man to respond and try to make sense out of other mens stupidity. This is not a thread to debate anyones intentions, good or bad. we are just simply sharing our stories


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## LalaCity (Oct 24, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> I've had profile pics with my face only. Unless I'm wearing a burkha.....



Parvas from Bangladesh would no doubt be all over that shizzle like beige on basmati, dear heart.


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## The Fez (Oct 24, 2010)

Setting aside his posts, ManBeef is a fantastic username

probably for all the wrong reasons


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 24, 2010)

ManBeef said:


> As a male, this is all I can say to help in this. If you are going to post a picture of you in a provocative pose or with your goodies hanging out, expect to hear typical male sexual nonsense. Adult or not males are driven by what we see. When you post "sexually explicit" pictures it is you that is opening the flood gates. Not saying that this is the case for most. But it is a major factor. Also remember, BBWs are just a fetish to a lot of people on those sites. It sucks because it ruins it for the rest.


 
Fair enough.

I will also make some unfavorable assumptions about the character of a person who uses "ManBeef" as his username.


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## GTAFA (Oct 24, 2010)

TraciJo67 said:


> Fair enough.
> 
> I will also make some unfavorable assumptions about the character of a person who uses "ManBeef" as his username.



But to my knowledge i don't think he minds being objectified, does he...?


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## KendraLee (Oct 25, 2010)

Just got this. Not really sure what to make of it 

"so tell me how much u like sex coz i am horny person and very passsioante..and r u looking for serious relationship"


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 25, 2010)

GTAFA said:


> But to my knowledge i don't think he minds being objectified, does he...?


 
Unfavorable assumptions does not equal objectified.


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## Jes (Oct 25, 2010)

DeerVictory said:


> " im very cute and you look very sexy in those dresses, your not fat at all, i can guess ur weight if you sit on my face."
> .



ahahaha. AHAHAHAHAHA.

there's something...idiot savant-like there. I can't describe it. It's SO ridiculous that the pendulum has swung back to sublime.


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## Carrie (Oct 25, 2010)

Jes said:


> ahahaha. AHAHAHAHAHA.
> 
> there's something...idiot savant-like there. I can't describe it. It's SO ridiculous that the pendulum has swung back to sublime.


Apparently he thinks scales are REALLY difficult to come by in DV's neck of the woods.


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 25, 2010)

Carrie said:


> Apparently he thinks scales are REALLY difficult to come by in DV's neck of the woods.


 
And here I was thinking it would be a really cool "guess my weight" feature for the local carnival. I was gettin' ready to pitch the idea 'n everything.


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## Jes (Oct 25, 2010)

Carrie said:


> Apparently he thinks scales are REALLY difficult to come by in DV's neck of the woods.



I was imagining him to be an old school Carnie*

*carnival worker for you youngin's



I got picked up, once (hitchhiking on the side of the highway) by a carny. It worked out ok.


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## LalaCity (Oct 25, 2010)

TraciJo67 said:


> Fair enough.
> 
> I will also make some unfavorable assumptions about the character of a person who uses "ManBeef" as his username.



I just let out a sound such as I have never before heard emanate from my person. I mean, it was like a full-throated-witchy-semi-guffaw-deranged cackle. I nearly choked on it.

"Bwahaha!!" doesn't even _begin_ to describe it...


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## LillyBBBW (Oct 26, 2010)

Maybe it's just me but I find it annoying to get these first messages that basically say nothing at all about the person. It starts off, "Hello [Lady]!" and then says that s/he saw my ad on [findafatty.com] and was intrigued. Tell me more about you and get to know each other better, bla bla bla. I'm not even sure if I want to do that. It doesn't tell me if the person is male or female, over 13, is it Scott Peterson, are you in the US, etc. I don't know who it is! This person was able to peruse through a list or women and send out a vague message to all of them. I personally don't have anything against that but at least give us something to help us decide if we want to do the same. Is it hard to do that, is there an issue? They don't have to give their name and social or anything, just some general information. Just a peeve of mine.


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## cinnamitch (Oct 26, 2010)

I got this little gem yesterday. I hope i wasn't too chatty

harry john
arry john from united kingdom...a surveyor.... see your beautiful face on netlog and i will like to know you better...i can wait too 
long to meet this beautiful face....you can add me *************@yahoo.com....like to hear from you soon... 
harry

20:31 Me:
no

20:42 harry john:
what do you mean by no....but i can say you reconsider me am realy in love whit you...am begging you give me a tria and know the type of person i am. i hate a lair people, like ssomebody i meet last two weeks.. and i dont pray for such thing again. please let me have a please in your heart.....look forward to hear from you soon... 
harry

03:52 Me:
no

All this conversation wore me out:happy:


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## TraciJo67 (Oct 26, 2010)

cinnamitch said:


> I got this little gem yesterday. I hope i wasn't too chatty
> 
> harry john
> arry john from united kingdom...a surveyor.... see your beautiful face on netlog and i will like to know you better...i can wait too
> ...


 
I think Parval's been two-timing again.


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## Jes (Oct 26, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> , over 13, is it Scott Peterson, are you in the US, etc. .



I suspect that this is exactly the problem and the reason the guy can't describe himself; it IS Scott Peterson, writing you from jail!

I always got this, too. I'd write a paragrah-long ad, he'd send a line. I'd answer in a few sentences, he'd write: Sounds good, what else? And on and on. 

I think it's scattershot. He's sitting at his computer sending 1 line to 20 women. Men are less verbal. I guess they're less type-al, too. He's wanting to do very little work and it's not appealing. It's a behavior that is just not appealing. 

And, quite possibly, he's not even in a position to date you, but instead, is married or never going to leave Mom's basement or whatever. he just wants to get a conversation going (with you doing the work, naturally) with as many women as he can, so that he feels like he's out there or that he'd do well with the ladies if he ever planned on being single (or leaving the basement). It's a kind of drive-by, or a kind of prank call: get her attention! But that's enough. He just wants to be looked at, he doesn't really want to engage.


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## IrishBBWQueen (Oct 26, 2010)

I've had so many & I just delete them lol from now on I'll be saving them to post up here!!

From POF- my profile specificaly states - 'no photo, no reply' 


Tittac: hi im paul how u,ur tall and big thank god hate skinny women

Me: Do you have a foto??

Tittac: dnt have didital camera, but can send to ur fone, hope not too forward, my num XXX XXXXXXX.

Tittac: we swap numbers. ok.my num XXX XXXXXXX

Me: No I don't think so, send me a few fotos if you want, if you can't post them on the site then send to my email- [email protected] 

Tittac: dnt have digital camera, ok.but can send foto to ur fone up to u, im safe

Me: If u have a camera on ur fone u can email it from there surely

Tittac: dont knw how ,honest.


Why oh why did I engage for so long!! lol
I particularly liked the 'im safe' and 'honest' parts... what's not to trust from a faceless stranger on the internet!!!
Once again- PUNCTUATION & SPELLING PEOPLE- USE THE BLOODY SHIFT KEY!!


----------



## LillyBBBW (Oct 26, 2010)

I've been guilty of talking too long to losers too. Replying to these vapid messages has never ever turned out to be anything but a waste of time so from now on I just delete them and don't respond. If I _need_ to ask "asl" there's just no point in going any further. He's not my type.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Oct 26, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> I've been guilty of talking too long to losers too. Replying to these vapid messages has never ever turned out to be anything but a waste of time so from now on I just delete them and don't respond. If I _need_ to ask "asl" there's just no point in going any further. He's not my type.



lol asking ASL is soooo 1997 lol.


----------



## willowmoon (Oct 26, 2010)

IrishBBWQueen said:


> I've had so many & I just delete them lol from now on I'll be saving them to post up here!!
> 
> From POF- my profile specificaly states - 'no photo, no reply'
> 
> ...




Well there is the possibility that perhaps he might just be computer illiterate. 

Click Me.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Oct 26, 2010)

BeautifulPoeticDisaster said:


> lol asking ASL is soooo 1997 lol.



LOL! That's what adds to the humiliation for me. I'm already mad at him for putting me in the position to have to ask that and come up with a clever way of doing so that doesn't make me want to gag. Don't make me ask, man. It's degrading.


----------



## IrishBBWQueen (Oct 26, 2010)

hmmm yes there is that possibility.... oh but wait it's an internet dating site!!! :doh:

LOL fair enough but my profile states in capital letters- NO PHOTO, NO ANSWER.... so either you haven't bothered reading my profile or can't be bothered respecting my wishes... either way  I gave him the benefit of the doubt but all he wanted was my phone number!! 
It annoys me, I have to admit, it's not about looks but I've had the decency to put a photo up.. I should get the same back!!!


----------



## Christov (Oct 26, 2010)

Why do guys never get creepy messages like the kind this thread is full of? 

I'll tell you why, because Women are _classy_.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Oct 26, 2010)

Christov said:


> Why do guys never get creepy messages like the kind this thread is full of?
> 
> I'll tell you why, because Women are _classy_.


 
Can u trun on yer cam adn putt on a preyvite show fer me?


----------



## joswitch (Oct 26, 2010)

Gingembre said:


> "hey red is your hair natural i mean do you have ginger pubes?"
> 
> What a charmer!



Bwahahahaha! 

One girl's charm offensive sent to me: 
"your face is ugly! You should've stuck to just the photos of your back."
oh, how I swooned...


----------



## joswitch (Oct 26, 2010)

Littleghost said:


> I don't think guys get the "romantic" ones so much as "encouragement". I got this baffling message to a standard profile:
> 
> "wow ur weird lol well good luck!"
> 
> I have it printed out with an inspiring photo on my wall.



Lolz! I get loads of those!


----------



## LillyBBBW (Oct 26, 2010)

joswitch said:


> Bwahahahaha!
> 
> One girl's charm offensive sent to me:
> "your face is ugly! You should've stuck to just the photos of your back."
> oh, how I swooned...



How about, "You are far better looking in person than in your photos." That one had me seeing stars.


----------



## Paquito (Oct 26, 2010)

WOW! What a wonderful selection of Pics! Such Tremendous camera work! Such Terrific poses and lighting! And, Dude, what a Stupendous, Awesome, Superman you are!! Men just dont come more mind-bogglingly perfect than that! 

You fulfill mens capacity for hefty handsomeness to the absolute Max! The masculine potential for soft mass is enormous and modern boys can push that potential to heights its never reached. Youre planting the flag in gorgeous territory never gained before! 

First, theres that amazing, mellow skin of yours. Golden brown, velvet smooth and very nearly flawless. 

Then theres the unbelievably beautiful weight distribution across your marvelously developed body, so bulgingly balanced, so sensuously shaped, so magnificently proportioned, so sumptuously filled out and rounded. 

Then theres the incredibly exciting tactile quality of your wonderful heavy big masculine mass: so deep, so flowing, so liquidly soft and yielding, so richly massage-able and knead-able, so cutely poke-able and pinch-able, so sexily grab-able and press-able. All formed in enormous bulges beautifully riding out into the space around you. 





I live an incredible life.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Oct 26, 2010)

Paquito said:


> WOW! What a wonderful selection of Pics! Such Tremendous camera work! Such Terrific poses and lighting! And, Dude, what a Stupendous, Awesome, Superman you are!! Men just dont come more mind-bogglingly perfect than that!
> 
> You fulfill mens capacity for hefty handsomeness to the absolute Max! The masculine potential for soft mass is enormous and modern boys can push that potential to heights its never reached. Youre planting the flag in gorgeous territory never gained before!
> 
> ...



That's the best porn I've read in a while.


----------



## CastingPearls (Oct 26, 2010)

TraciJo67 said:


> I think Parval's been two-timing again.


I'm not joking when I say the same wit has been gifting me with the same love letters. *sigh*. He's ten-timing us. My fat heart she is broked.


----------



## joswitch (Oct 26, 2010)

supersizebbw said:


> I know what you mean. Whatever happened to striking conversations with actual people and maybe it leading to something more.
> 
> My problem is i'm terribly shy, and for now i'm living in a city where despite it being overcrowded with people, hardly anyone talks to anyone else and there's so many lonely people!
> 
> ...



Um... OKCupid is better than POF I think...
Lots of personality questions and such


----------



## Carrie (Oct 26, 2010)

Paquito said:


> WOW! What a wonderful selection of Pics! Such Tremendous camera work! Such Terrific poses and lighting! And, Dude, what a Stupendous, Awesome, Superman you are!! Men just dont come more mind-bogglingly perfect than that!
> 
> You fulfill mens capacity for hefty handsomeness to the absolute Max! The masculine potential for soft mass is enormous and modern boys can push that potential to heights its never reached. Youre planting the flag in gorgeous territory never gained before!
> 
> ...



Oh, haha. Wow, that is really.... something. It's like a non-English speaker went to Babel Fish, entered in their language, "You are hot", and accidentally checked the "want us to unnecessarily elaborate to the point of awkward discomfort for you?" box before hitting "translate".


----------



## FatAndProud (Oct 26, 2010)

Foot fetish guy from POF...need I say more?


----------



## Christov (Oct 26, 2010)

Paquito said:


> WOW! What a wonderful selection of Pics! Such Tremendous camera work! Such Terrific poses and lighting! And, Dude, what a Stupendous, Awesome, Superman you are!! Men just dont come more mind-bogglingly perfect than that!
> 
> You fulfill mens capacity for hefty handsomeness to the absolute Max! The masculine potential for soft mass is enormous and modern boys can push that potential to heights its never reached. Youre planting the flag in gorgeous territory never gained before!
> 
> ...


I thought you said you wouldn't put my love note to you in this thread.


----------



## Gingembre (Oct 26, 2010)

joswitch said:


> Um... OKCupid is better than POF I think...
> Lots of personality questions and such



Horses for courses - I prefer POF because it's mostly free text. I like reading what people choose to say about themselves and how they choose to say it. Not saying it's anymore successful, but IMO it makes for more interesting browsing! I've not been on okcupid...i'm on bbwcupid which is ok but it's tricky to contact people if you don't pay to up your membership status...seems to be a lack of young men who live near me also, but i guess we'll see.



FatAndProud said:


> Foot fetish guy from POF...need I say more?



Ahahahaha....yes, say more!


----------



## FatAndProud (Oct 26, 2010)

Gingembre said:


> Ahahahaha....yes, say more!



lol Omg..He messaged me - he's totally cute, right? So, we exchange a few nice messages...and then he's adamant about tickling me. Ok, I hate being tickled, but I like it for fun...I thought maybe he's just some FA or something (FAs like the fatz, ya know?). But then he's all "what size shoe do you wear...I like to know the size of feet I'm going to be tickling. Do you like to be tied up?" LOL Don't get me wrong, I like it rough and stuff...but...he went from totally sexy to batshit crazy in like 5 minutes lol. I mean, sure, worship my body, my feet, whatever...don't message a complete stranger and try to talk about what gets your little peenor going.


----------



## LovelyLiz (Oct 26, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> lol Omg..He messaged me - he's totally cute, right? So, we exchange a few nice messages...and then he's adamant about tickling me. Ok, I hate being tickled, but I like it for fun...I thought maybe he's just some FA or something (FAs like the fatz, ya know?). But then he's all "what size shoe do you wear...I like to know the size of feet I'm going to be tickling. Do you like to be tied up?" LOL Don't get me wrong, I like it rough and stuff...but...he went from totally sexy to batshit crazy in like 5 minutes lol. I mean, sure, worship my body, my feet, whatever...don't message a complete stranger and try to talk about what gets your little peenor going.



Yeah, totally with you on that. So were the first few "nice messages" just about normal getting to know you stuff? 

I'm far far from prudish, but I've found that when any guy online starts talking about sex or his fantasies or specific things he likes about my body, before we've even met, he's definitely not relationship material. (I don't know why it took me so long to figure that out, tho. )


----------



## CastingPearls (Oct 26, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Yeah, totally with you on that. So were the first few "nice messages" just about normal getting to know you stuff?
> 
> I'm far far from prudish, but I've found that when any guy online starts talking about sex or his fantasies or specific things he likes about my body, before we've even met, he's definitely not relationship material. (I don't know why it took me so long to figure that out, tho. )


I'm with you on this too.


----------



## joswitch (Oct 26, 2010)

ManBeef said:


> This is why I said in another post the clothing thing isn't always a factor. Sometimes guys just do this stuff. So if you go through this, sorry. All I was saying is that =IF YOU DO HAVE THESE PICS UP YOU CAN'T COMPLAIN= because you are bring that attention to yourself. I never once said this was ALL of you problems. So please don't misread what I posted



Beef! Man....
Never tell someone they cannot complain.
Trust me.
It will not end well.


----------



## joswitch (Oct 26, 2010)

Inhibited said:


> The sexual intent is still there though no matter how they word it. I saves my time and there time if they don't play the game and pretend to be genuine.
> I would rather them just say what they want so i can just say NO and they can message someone else instead of wasting my time and pretending to interact on an intelligent level and wait to meet up for their real intent to be known.
> Oh and i do say there will be sexual contact before meeting..



Errr... There's an asexual dude out there for you I'm sure! 
Not even kidding, I remember from this one thread way back when, some chap saying he's asexual...


----------



## joswitch (Oct 26, 2010)

Gingembre said:


> Horses for courses - I prefer POF because it's mostly free text. I like reading what people choose to say about themselves and how they choose to say it. Not saying it's anymore successful, but IMO it makes for more interesting browsing! I've not been on okcupid...i'm on bbwcupid which is ok but it's tricky to contact people if you don't pay to up your membership status...seems to be a lack of young men who live near me also, but i guess we'll see.
> 
> 
> 
> Ahahahaha....yes, say more!



Meh. POF picture resolution is so low, it's like looking through frosted glass...


----------



## IrishBBWQueen (Oct 26, 2010)

joswitch said:


> Meh. POF picture resolution is so low, it's like looking through frosted glass...



That is so true... I'm looking at a foto at the mo & I swear I can't tell anything about the guy... he could be the elephant man for all I know... also he's wearing what looks like a very dodgy tracksuit... but in fairness it could well be a nurse outfit!!


----------



## FatAndProud (Oct 26, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Yeah, totally with you on that. So were the first few "nice messages" just about normal getting to know you stuff?
> 
> I'm far far from prudish, but I've found that when any guy online starts talking about sex or his fantasies or specific things he likes about my body, before we've even met, he's definitely not relationship material. (I don't know why it took me so long to figure that out, tho. )



They were pretty innocent messages. Mind you, I enjoy chatting with guys who have wit, perversions, and other things that keep my attention. I didn't think anything of the simple messages. There was innocent flirtation, but nothing like I WANT YOUR PEEN NAO. Basically, I know he's 34, from Ohio, and likes feet, tying up women, and tickling them? lulz. Ah, men are the bane of my existance.


----------



## LovelyLiz (Oct 27, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> They were pretty innocent messages. Mind you, I enjoy chatting with guys who have wit, perversions, and other things that keep my attention. I didn't think anything of the simple messages. There was innocent flirtation, but nothing like I WANT YOUR PEEN NAO. Basically, I know he's 34, from Ohio, and likes feet, tying up women, and tickling them? lulz. Ah, men are the bane of my existance.



I just know if some mild kinks are being talked about and emphasized prior to the first date, that's almost certainly the tip of a very big iceberg. And that iceberg is probably just made out of even crazier kinks (which I am not begrudging at all - we all have our kinks)...but I think those icebergs tend to not be made out of interesting conversation and emotional intimacy.  (So...depending on what you're looking for...)


----------



## Inhibited (Oct 27, 2010)

joswitch said:


> Errr... There's an asexual dude out there for you I'm sure!
> Not even kidding, I remember from this one thread way back when, some chap saying he's asexual...



I don't get it... I mean i know what asexual is, but i don;t get if your serious, making fun, or being mean..


----------



## isamarie69 (Oct 27, 2010)

I'm not on any dating sites but I did recieve a very strange message yesterday, all it said was "I love you Isa (my last name) I never spoke to the guy or even saw his pics before.


----------



## joswitch (Oct 27, 2010)

@Inhibited - serious and not mean.. From your last post it sounded like an asexual dude was what you wanted?? If I have misunderstood you, my apologies...
@mcbeth - I like to put all my "icebergs" upfront on my profile...  Honesty = best policy, right?


----------



## Inhibited (Oct 27, 2010)

> joswitch said:
> 
> 
> > @Inhibited - serious and not mean.. From your last post it sounded like an asexual dude was what you wanted?? If I have misunderstood you, my apologies...
> ...


----------



## joswitch (Oct 27, 2010)

Inhibited said:


> > lol nah no apology needed, thanks though. Thought you were having ago as _one thread way back when, some chap saying he's asexual_, sounds like you were saying that there is one in a million chance i will anyone like that. But i thought that was what the majority wanted.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## Inhibited (Oct 27, 2010)

joswitch said:


> Inhibited said:
> 
> 
> > Ummm...
> ...


----------



## joswitch (Oct 27, 2010)

Inhibited said:


> Am glad you clarified that, am in my own world again expecting ppl to know what i mean . I mean no sex unless in a relationship when i know them not gonna meet up with someone just for meaningless sex.... i need to put this into practice..



Ah, I see! Confusion over. All is clear now.


----------



## Famouslastwords (Oct 27, 2010)

Paquito said:


> WOW! What a wonderful selection of Pics! Such Tremendous camera work! Such Terrific poses and lighting! And, Dude, what a Stupendous, Awesome, Superman you are!! Men just dont come more mind-bogglingly perfect than that!
> 
> You fulfill mens capacity for hefty handsomeness to the absolute Max! The masculine potential for soft mass is enormous and modern boys can push that potential to heights its never reached. Youre planting the flag in gorgeous territory never gained before!
> 
> ...



Bitch, why'd you post my PM to you?


----------



## AuntHen (Oct 27, 2010)

Famouslastwords said:


> Bitch, why'd you post my PM to you?




haha!! too funny


----------



## Famouslastwords (Oct 27, 2010)

That's it. I'm going to post my PMs from Paquito: 


Paquito said:


> I LIEK RICE!





Paquito said:


> Hey, FLW, remember when we used to pet the bunnies? They were soft huh?





Paquito said:


>



That last one had me scratching me head, stuck what in what hole? Then he said:



Paquito said:


> You know, how you were supposed to stick your tongue in my butt but stuck it in my pee hole and split it like a hotdog that's been cooked in the microwave?



Dude is weird.


----------



## Paquito (Oct 27, 2010)

Christov said:


> I thought you said you wouldn't put my love note to you in this thread.





Famouslastwords said:


> Bitch, why'd you post my PM to you?



Baby baby baby, c'mon. Sit on daddy's lap. I'll make it better.

THREESOME BITCHES


----------



## IrishBBWQueen (Oct 28, 2010)

I got an email today from someone I never heard of, met or seen before in my life.... In it was a lovely foto of his meat & 2 veg!!! Best part was that there are what appears to be warts on it!!! I mean WTF?!! 
Lol I so very nearly replied saying- thanks for the email & photo but I would seriously recommend you go to the doctor & get those warts seen to... And so do all the other people I have shown the photo to for the laugh!!!
Hahaha serve the perv. right!!!!


----------



## willowmoon (Oct 28, 2010)

IrishBBWQueen said:


> I got an email today from someone I never heard of, met or seen before in my life.... In it was a lovely foto of his meat & 2 veg!!! Best part was that there are what appears to be warts on it!!! I mean WTF?!!
> Lol I so very nearly replied saying- thanks for the email & photo but I would seriously recommend you go to the doctor & get those warts seen to... And so do all the other people I have shown the photo to for the laugh!!!
> Hahaha serve the perv. right!!!!



Now Brett Favre is taking his show overseas?!?!? The bastard!


----------



## Lovelyone (Oct 28, 2010)

I honestly dont know whether to be insulted that his broken english is so bad that he called me a man...or flattered that marriage sounds good and he wants to be friends. I am pretty sure there is either misspelling or there is supposed to be some punctuation in there somewhere, but I've tried it several different ways and no matter how it comes out it just sounds so WRONG.

"To marry a nice man like you be lucky and I want to be friends"


I got this lovely message from the site TAGGED. I don't know why I maintain my profile there cos the only people who send me messages are spammers, scammers and men who live in middle eastern countries.


----------



## Jes (Oct 28, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> Foot fetish guy from POF...need I say more?



I wish you would!
I want to read!


----------



## Jes (Oct 28, 2010)

IrishBBWQueen said:


> That is so true... I'm looking at a foto at the mo & I swear I can't tell anything about the guy... he could be the elephant man for all I know... also he's wearing what looks like a very dodgy tracksuit... but in fairness it could well be a nurse outfit!!



I remember seeing a picture of a guy in Chat and honestly, I was stumped b/c what he was wearing almost made it look like he was wearing a diaper!

So I told him so and asked and ...wait for it... he WAS wearing a diaper in that photo.

I guess he believed in truth in advertising! That was his 'first message' in a way, since photos can speak louder than actions OR words.


----------



## LalaCity (Oct 28, 2010)

TraciJo67 said:


> I think Parval's been two-timing again.



Listen, sister -- you had best find yourself another baby daddy. This one's _mine_. I see you've been commenting on the boards about gettin some of his sweet Bangladeshi lovin' --first of all, his name's not Parval, it's Par_vas_ (or, "pervy Parvy," as I call him during our pillow chat)...

Second of all, he knows he can't get _any_ better than what he's got here with _me_.

Bitchez better be leavin' my piece _alone_...


----------



## TraciJo67 (Oct 28, 2010)

LalaCity said:


> Listen, sister -- you had best find yourself another baby daddy. This one's _mine_. I see you've been commenting on the boards about gettin some of his sweet Bangladeshi lovin' --first of all, his name's not Parval, it's Par_vas_ (or, "pervy Parvy," as I call him during our pillow chat)...
> 
> Second of all, he knows he can't get _any_ better than what he's got here with _me_.
> 
> Bitchez better be leavin' my piece _alone_...


 
Why you wanna diss me like that? 

Parval is my sweet pillow-time NICKNAME for him. It's not that I got his name wrong because I don't care. Uh uh. Nope. I love me some Parval. 

Also, Parval told me alllll about you and, while I don't cyber and tell, I will say that he's past frustrated with your common sense approach to his emotional declarations of love, and that furthermore, your literacy intimidates him.


----------



## Tracyarts (Oct 28, 2010)

" I got an email today from someone I never heard of, met or seen before in my life.... In it was a lovely foto of his meat & 2 veg!!! Best part was that there are what appears to be warts on it!!! I mean WTF?!! "

LOL! One day I was checking my email right quick on my phone while watching tv with my friend, and I got a totally unsolicited photo of some guy who said we had chatted on Yahoo Messenger (I didn't recognize the name, but plenty of people message me out of the blue when I'm logged on who I just make small talk with until they realize it's not going anywhere else and stop responding... so we very well could have for all I know). But anyway, it was a nude photo and I was just about to click away, when I saw some kind of extra piece of something wrinkled and fleshy hanging off his general crotchular area (the guy was all natural in the body hair department, so it was impossible to see just where this extra bit was attached). 

I swear, the first thought that went through my head was the old Cheech and Chong movie where Cheech was "ET, the Extra Testicle". So, I laughed until I damn near peed myself, and my friend asked what I was laughing at, I showed him and he did the "I'm looking at another dude's junk" cringe but then got a laugh at it too. So, by then I was so curious that I had to enlarge the photo to try and figure out exactly what I was looking at there. It's either a stunted third testicle or a really big wart. Anyway...I never responded. What do you say? "Hey threeballer, I don't appreciate the unsolicited nude pic, but since you went ahead and sent it, WTF is up with your junk and that extra piece of whatever that you're packing down there?" 

I mean, don't get me wrong, good for him for being comfortable enough with his differently endowed body to send nude photos out to women. But since I didn't ask for it, I feel absolutely NO guilt over laughing my ass off over it and showing it around to other people who laughed their asses off too. 

My friend told me to save it and send it to guys who asked for nude pics of me online. LOL! I didn't, but I should have. 

Tracy


----------



## IrishBBWQueen (Oct 28, 2010)

Tracyarts said:


> " I got an email today from someone I never heard of, met or seen before in my life.... In it was a lovely foto of his meat & 2 veg!!! Best part was that there are what appears to be warts on it!!! I mean WTF?!! "
> 
> LOL! One day I was checking my email right quick on my phone while watching tv with my friend, and I got a totally unsolicited photo of some guy who said we had chatted on Yahoo Messenger (I didn't recognize the name, but plenty of people message me out of the blue when I'm logged on who I just make small talk with until they realize it's not going anywhere else and stop responding... so we very well could have for all I know). But anyway, it was a nude photo and I was just about to click away, when I saw some kind of extra piece of something wrinkled and fleshy hanging off his general crotchular area (the guy was all natural in the body hair department, so it was impossible to see just where this extra bit was attached).
> 
> ...



Hahaha you made me laugh out loud with your threeballer!! good one!!

I just got this-

'I like a woman not a girl that knows what she wants and take things slow and see where it goes how about you'

I'm like... eeeem first of all, take a deep breath and second... I'm not really sure what you mean...?
Can anyone enlighten me please??


----------



## Carrie (Oct 29, 2010)

I got a message today that started with, "Hello, lady!". I don't know why, but I've been laughing about that all day.


----------



## Salus in Arduis (Oct 29, 2010)

I had a guy a couple months ago begging me to hook his testicles up to a car battery and electrocute him, and calling me 'Mistress' and stuff.

Another guy's idea of a good first impression was:
"DO YOU LIKE BIG DICK
YES OR NO"


----------



## Cors (Oct 29, 2010)

This thread cracks me up! 

My favourite opener and one I get sooooo often: "Are you open minded?"


----------



## Dmitra (Oct 29, 2010)

Carrie said:


> I got a message today that started with, "Hello, lady!". I don't know why, but I've been laughing about that all day.



Maybe it was an incognito Jerry Lewis? LOL


----------



## LovelyLiz (Oct 29, 2010)

On POF they have this new "Meet Me" feature where you just see a person's pictures and stats (age, location) and click Yes/No/Maybe as to whether you want to meet them. When someone clicks "Yes" on you, you get a message and then you can see the whole list of people who clicked "Yes" by going to that area of the site. 

Anyway, this is the beginning/title of the profile of one guy who clicked "Yes" on me recently (and yes, my pictures all make my fatness very obvious):

"Athletic, in shape, fit, please be. I dont date overweight women."

Um, yeah, dude...besides not knowing how to use apostrophes, apparently you also can't differentiate between the words "Yes" and "No". :doh:


----------



## Carrie (Oct 29, 2010)

Dmitra said:


> Maybe it was an incognito Jerry Lewis? LOL


Haha, maybe.


----------



## Dmitra (Oct 29, 2010)

Cors said:


> This thread cracks me up!
> 
> My favourite opener and one I get sooooo often: "Are you open minded?"



I fear and loathe the "open-minded" mention. Somehow that always involves things to do with the butt (heavy squickage for me). Yes, anal sex related. Even typing it makes me slightly ill.



mcbeth said:


> On POF they have this new "Meet Me" feature where you just see a person's pictures and stats (age, location) and click Yes/No/Maybe as to whether you want to meet them. When someone clicks "Yes" on you, you get a message and then you can see the whole list of people who clicked "Yes" by going to that area of the site.
> 
> Anyway, this is the beginning/title of the profile of one guy who clicked "Yes" on me recently (and yes, my pictures all make my fatness very obvious):
> 
> ...



:doh::doh::doh: and double :doh: He must get easily confused by paint-by-numbers, too.


----------



## Lovelyone (Oct 29, 2010)

This message was sent to my inbox on a dating site I was on;

"Hi, I don't know why you messaged me, cos I don't like Nascar. If I have to be quite frank with you, I'm not really all that interested in dating a hillbilly. You and I seem to have differing interests. Also, I like giving it in the rear and not getting it there."

Why was I so stumped? My ad simply read..."SWF, 43. never married, no children". No where in there did I refer to anything that is in his response. I sent him a message that stated, "ummm, thanks for the response, I HATE NASCAR, and just because someone lives in Indiana--that does not automatically make them a hillbilly. Also...I prefer sticking my big fat cock in your ass so it wouldn't work out between us." 

He responded with:
"OMG I am so sorry (and a bit embarrassed)... that message was not meant for you. So...is your cock really that big?" 

I fell out of my chair laughing.


----------



## FatAndProud (Oct 29, 2010)

Lovelyone said:


> This message was sent to my inbox on a dating site I was on;
> 
> "Hi, I don't know why you messaged me, cos I don't like Nascar. If I have to be quite frank with you, I'm not really all that interested in dating a hillbilly. You and I seem to have differing interests. Also, I like giving it in the rear and not getting it there."
> 
> ...



LOL This has got to be the best message ever.


----------



## Dmitra (Oct 29, 2010)

Lovelyone said:


> This message was sent to my inbox on a dating site I was on;
> 
> "Hi, I don't know why you messaged me, cos I don't like Nascar. If I have to be quite frank with you, I'm not really all that interested in dating a hillbilly. You and I seem to have differing interests. Also, I like giving it in the rear and not getting it there."
> 
> ...



Dammit, still can't rep you. Best laugh I've had all day.


----------



## LalaCity (Oct 30, 2010)

We've taken Parvas' love paeans and rendered them as a Sonnet, in iambic "parvtameter":

_My heart, on line for you now I am wait. / No scoped to chatting...love me, yes or not? / Want to relation with you everything. / Be happy if you in my life I got. / My religious follow up correctly. / Not back or return my love offer do. / Life finish one day but stray love will be. / But every friend is not seem same as you. / I feel very much love to your pic sec. / Forgot you not, within you I want stray. / Do you angry with me? If you reject, / I do not live very deep day by day. / Love do not depend by sec pic only; / I also give you my Yahoo ID._


----------



## PhatChk (Oct 30, 2010)

I got these a few days ago at a dating site. I cant get mad at the guy lol he gets props for trying. At least one of the funniest and nicest emails I have gotten. 

Subject: YOU ARE GETTING SLEEPY 

Message: Sleeeeeeeepy,,,sleeeeeeeeeepy,,,,,sleeeeeeeeeeeeepy.

You are falling into a deep sleep.
Fallllling,,,,falllllllllling,,,,,fallllllllllllling.
You are now asleep.
When I snap my fingers you will awake and read the following
and agree 100%
100%,,,,,500%,,,,,1000%
SNAP SNAP.

Reasons Why some women prefer Older Men for Dating or Marriage
There may be many reasons why a younger woman may prefer to choose an older man. Some of them can be because

They may be more matured and responsible.Older men tend to be more caring and may pamper her more.They are more reliable and disciplined compared to their young counterparts. They also seem to be more devoted to their partners and normally do not run around flirting or sleeping around with several women. They are more sexually experienced and know to please their partner. They are also knowledgeable because of their own experiences about what makes a relationship work and do not commit the mistakes younger men does.
Elvis Presley - Priscilla 
Ronald Reagan -Nancy 
Brad Pitt - Angelina Jolie 
John F. Kennedy - Jacqueline Bouvier 
Prince Charles - Diana Spencer 
Nicolas Cage - Alice Kim 
Robert Redford - Sibylle Szaggars 
Sylvester Stallone - Jennifer Flavin 
Steven Tyler - Erin Brady 
Michael Douglas - Catherine Zeta-Jones 
Harrison Ford - Calista Flockhart 
George Hamilton - Kimberly Blackford 
Charles Bronson - Kim Weeks 
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes


Hey, a guy can dream can"t he 

and another

Subject: YA KNOW SOMETHING ? 

Message: Ya know that picture with Joan Jet on your shirt reminds me of Touched By A Angel as whenever Tess told anyone she was a angel a bright light would shine above her and there you are with your heavenly good looks and there is a bright light above you too


----------



## Paquito (Oct 30, 2010)

I split the Parvas hotdog last night.

Get on my level.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Oct 30, 2010)

LalaCity said:


> We've taken Parvas' love paeans and rendered them as a Sonnet, in iambic "parvtameter":
> 
> _My heart, on line for you now I am wait. / No scoped to chatting...love me, yes or not? / Want to relation with you everything. / Be happy if you in my life I got. / My religious follow up correctly. / Not back or return my love offer do. / Life finish one day but stray love will be. / But every friend is not seem same as you. / I feel very much love to your pic sec. / Forgot you not, within you I want stray. / Do you angry with me? If you reject, / I do not live very deep day by day. / Love do not depend by sec pic only; / I also give you my Yahoo ID._


ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Poetry rep coming your way!


----------



## CastingPearls (Oct 30, 2010)

LalaCity said:


> We've taken Parvas' love paeans and rendered them as a Sonnet, in iambic "parvtameter":
> 
> _My heart, on line for you now I am wait. / No scoped to chatting...love me, yes or not? / Want to relation with you everything. / Be happy if you in my life I got. / My religious follow up correctly. / Not back or return my love offer do. / Life finish one day but stray love will be. / But every friend is not seem same as you. / I feel very much love to your pic sec. / Forgot you not, within you I want stray. / Do you angry with me? If you reject, / I do not live very deep day by day. / Love do not depend by sec pic only; / I also give you my Yahoo ID._


I have to say I'm very disappointed that 'goatings' was not mentioned once.


----------



## littlefairywren (Oct 30, 2010)

Lovelyone said:


> This message was sent to my inbox on a dating site I was on;
> 
> "Hi, I don't know why you messaged me, cos I don't like Nascar. If I have to be quite frank with you, I'm not really all that interested in dating a hillbilly. You and I seem to have differing interests. Also, I like giving it in the rear and not getting it there."
> 
> ...



Hahahah. I can't stop laughing at this, Lovelyone!


----------



## FatAndProud (Oct 31, 2010)

So's...I got a message from a really nice guy. He's educated, articulate, handsomeeeeeeee, and all that other stuff, right? We chat it up, talk on the phone for a bit...whatevs. He hangs up on me all of a sudden. Then, he messages me on yahoo and tells me there was a package at the door. Ok? It's not like I was having phone sex with him. In fact, we were talking about 4chan, somethingawful.com, and cracked.com and other nerdiness :wubu: 

NOW, he's always like "I missed you" and over killing it every time he sees me online. I feel like I made a mistake in talking to this guy....he also keeps trying to send me pictures of his dick. I told him once you see one dick, you've seen them all. The ironic thing is...his headline was "looking for a nice woman".....To me, it sounds like he wants a piece of ass. lol


----------



## MizzSnakeBite (Oct 31, 2010)

The first thought that entered my mind: He sounds married.

Suddenly hanging up or disconnecting from IM, because the spouse/gf comes in. The effusive 'I love you soooooooooo much' 'cause he just had a fight, and you're The One that understands him, and has a connection with him. Ugh.

That stinks. I hope you find someone great.


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## joswitch (Oct 31, 2010)

The package at the door = wife!
Dude is trying to patronise your intelligence, epic fail for him!


----------



## FatAndProud (Oct 31, 2010)

Well, supposedly he's supposed to be moving near Detroit in mid-November and that's why he contacted me. I guess he could still be married and she is moving along with him? I AM SO GONNA ASK HIM IF HE'S MARRIED lol He'll tell me no...but at least I'll get it out there  

Why can't there be decent guys out there on the internet to date? lol I know it's lame to do online dating, but with my schedule (schooling, internships, eff'd up sleep patterns because of the aforementioned) it's very difficult for me to find anyone. Plus, I'm super shy when it comes to men I'm attracted to. Oh well.  I'm gonna be one of those late, late, late, late bloomers or a cat lady. I'm prepared for both. lol

I'll be really sad if this guy is like totally psycho/married. He was able to joke with me about being fat (even hinted at being a feeder and then he's like jk :| - feeders are cute. lol not the creepy feeders, but yeah. lol). I'm used to being hit on by guys that are into the big tits and whatever. I'm fat...like me for my whole body, not just cuz I have ginormous bewbz.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite (Oct 31, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> Well, supposedly he's supposed to be moving near Detroit in mid-November and that's why he contacted me. I guess he could still be married and she is moving along with him? I AM SO GONNA ASK HIM IF HE'S MARRIED lol He'll tell me no...but at least I'll get it out there
> 
> Why can't there be decent guys out there on the internet to date? lol I know it's lame to do online dating, but with my schedule (schooling, internships, eff'd up sleep patterns because of the aforementioned) it's very difficult for me to find anyone. Plus, I'm super shy when it comes to men I'm attracted to. Oh well.  I'm gonna be one of those late, late, late, late bloomers or a cat lady. I'm prepared for both. lol
> 
> I'll be really sad if this guy is like totally psycho/married. He was able to joke with me about being fat (even hinted at being a feeder and then he's like jk :| - feeders are cute. lol not the creepy feeders, but yeah. lol). I'm used to being hit on by guys that are into the big tits and whatever. I'm fat...like me for my whole body, not just cuz I have ginormous bewbz.



I don't think online dating is lame. It's the world we live in now. Have you ever cammed with him? You might suddenly ask for a shot of his hands.  I hope it turns out well, and if it does, you just might mention that you think feeders are cute. He might have been testing the waters about that since it can often be such a touchy subject.


----------



## AmazingAmy (Oct 31, 2010)

_'It seems to me as though the Red Duke has found a new plaything; how absolutely eloquent. I shall look forward to the sampling of you, my dear. We will see in the time she brings.'_

-- 15 second voice recording in the voice of an anime villain. It was horrifying, and what's worse I actually liked it.


----------



## CastingPearls (Oct 31, 2010)

Hi there.
How are you and your family doing today? I hope all is well with you all..I never thought i would have the best opportunity not until i came across your lovely profile which really motivate me to write you a mail..I'm Allen 'X' by name, I'm a single man with no kid. I'm new in this site and as well new to online dating..I just searching for someone i can call my heart cos presently i am incomplete...Traveled all around the world but still i really cannot find a woman that suites my heart, though some are very beautiful, but the heart never clanged because we weren't destined to be...But when i visited your profile i was really mesmerized and I'm like just fell in love with it....In your eyes i see a star of love and a burning flame of genuine friendship...A coast of hospitality and a harbor of care and protection...I will be so anxious and happy to get to know more about you if you don't really mind?. I do love to read from you soon and hope you'll find time to get back to me as soon as you can.I'm not much on this site so if you don't mind, Can you send me a private mail? ([email protected]) or you can add me to your IM list if you do love to chat, Maybe a chat will bring us close to each other and get to know more about ourselves...Looking forward to read from you soon and hope you'll have a nice time reading my mail...........Until i read from you again.
So much love and blessing to you and your family..............................................
Allen 

Soooooo, I got this one blind on FB yesterday. My privacy settings are friend only. So how does he know anything about my profile and WTF is it with the family talk--that just creeps me out. 

A coast of happiness and harbor of care--what is he a sailor???

What is this I don't even


----------



## CastingPearls (Oct 31, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> So's...I got a message from a really nice guy. He's educated, articulate, handsomeeeeeeee, and all that other stuff, right? We chat it up, talk on the phone for a bit...whatevs. He hangs up on me all of a sudden. Then, he messages me on yahoo and tells me there was a package at the door. Ok? It's not like I was having phone sex with him. In fact, we were talking about 4chan, somethingawful.com, and cracked.com and other nerdiness :wubu:
> 
> NOW, he's always like "I missed you" and over killing it every time he sees me online. I feel like I made a mistake in talking to this guy....he also keeps trying to send me pictures of his dick. I told him once you see one dick, you've seen them all. The ironic thing is...his headline was "looking for a nice woman".....To me, it sounds like he wants a piece of ass. lol


Package at the door is either wife or mom. Always.


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## LovelyLiz (Nov 1, 2010)

I almost feel like these don't count, because I think they go out to countless fat girls all over the cyberworld (I mean the exact one, just copied and pasted again and again)... But here was one I got today:

"Hello dear pretty ....how are you doing and how is your weekend ..am Samuel single man trying to make friend that will lead to a dream ....but all i know is ..it takes time to get to know same one ...and every thing is the matter of time ...stay bless and hope we could talk much when we meet online."


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## Jes (Nov 1, 2010)

IrishBBWQueen said:


> 'I like a woman not a girl that knows what she wants and take things slow and see where it goes how about you'
> 
> I'm like... eeeem first of all, take a deep breath and second... I'm not really sure what you mean...?
> Can anyone enlighten me please??



Just tell him it's a wonderful coincidence because you like THE EXACT SAME THING!


----------



## Jes (Nov 1, 2010)

Lovelyone said:


> This message was sent to my inbox on a dating site I was on;
> 
> "Hi, I don't know why you messaged me, cos I don't like Nascar. If I have to be quite frank with you, I'm not really all that interested in dating a hillbilly. You and I seem to have differing interests. Also, I like giving it in the rear and not getting it there."
> 
> ...



honestly? i think you 2 have potential. Weirder things have happened!


----------



## Carrie (Nov 1, 2010)

I received an email response today which read: 

"hi"



I think he may be The One. :smitten:


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## Gingembre (Nov 1, 2010)

Jes said:


> honestly? i think you 2 have potential. Weirder things have happened!



LOL, i think this too! 

I actually got a pretty good, but a bit crazy, first message the other day. Firstly i should explain that I say on my profile that i sometimes wish i was born in 1942 (i once worked it out as my optimum birth year to have lived through the 60s etc) and it also lists somethings i do like...and some i dont (inc marzipan)...

_Subject: 1942? Bit too late...

Msg: ...because you look like you belong painted on the side of a B-52 in the second world war. I never got that one myself; "we're going to bomb the hell out of you...but here is the picture of a voluptuous lovely young pinup to show there's no hard feelings.

Agreed on the inebriation, cuddles and eyeliner love...but please give marzipan a chance.

x me _


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## Lovelyone (Nov 1, 2010)

Jes said:


> honestly? i think you 2 have potential. Weirder things have happened!


 
The message I sent him was in sarcasm. I DO NOT HAVE A BIG FAT COCK. There is absolutely NO potential there for anything to happen.


----------



## Jes (Nov 1, 2010)

Lovelyone said:


> The message I sent him was in sarcasm. I DO NOT HAVE A BIG FAT COCK. There is absolutely NO potential there for anything to happen.



Wait a second. You don't have a cock? How did I miss that?


----------



## AmazingAmy (Nov 1, 2010)

_"hey honey how are u????
i recently saw ur pics and i think u look great... *but u could look better*
i'm 22, i live in milan (italy) and i'm studying economics at university
i love music, quite every type... from hip hop to rock, from house to pop....
id like to chat with u and maybe have fun, if u don't mind.
xoxo
fede"_

...Am I missing something? I'm trying to read that in every context possible, but it's not changing a thing. I get that it was probably something to do with gaining, but it loses all meaning when you don't elaborate!


----------



## Gingembre (Nov 1, 2010)

Lovelyone said:


> The message I sent him was in sarcasm. I DO NOT HAVE A BIG FAT COCK. There is absolutely NO potential there for anything to happen.



Oh, how i read it i thought he was joking back?!


----------



## SuperMishe (Nov 1, 2010)

Gingembre said:


> Oh, how i read it i thought he was joking back?!



LOL - I thought he was joking back too. I would have gone on to explain one in detail and see what he said! LOL!


----------



## Lovelyone (Nov 1, 2010)

SuperMishe said:


> LOL - I thought he was joking back too. I would have gone on to explain one in detail and see what he said! LOL!


 
There was a subsequent message that lead me to believe that he was NOT joking--which is why I posted it here in this thread. I didn't respond after that but I wonder now, what would have happened had I done just that. LOL
I am just happy to read in this thread that I am not the only one who draws the oddballs out of hiding.


----------



## Famouslastwords (Nov 1, 2010)

AmazingAmy said:


> _"hey honey how are u????
> i recently saw ur pics and i think u look great... *but u could look better*
> i'm 22, i live in milan (italy) and i'm studying economics at university
> i love music, quite every type... from hip hop to rock, from house to pop....
> ...



That's just insulting, any way you put it. Screw that dude.


----------



## FatAndProud (Nov 1, 2010)

AmazingAmy said:


> _"hey honey how are u????
> i recently saw ur pics and i think u look great... *but u could look better*
> i'm 22, i live in milan (italy) and i'm studying economics at university
> i love music, quite every type... from hip hop to rock, from house to pop....
> ...



Not to be a turd-face...but his native language isn't English. Maybe he meant something nice...but got lost in translation? Hey, I'm just giving dude benefit of the doubt


----------



## AmazingAmy (Nov 2, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> Not to be a turd-face...but his native language isn't English. Maybe he meant something nice...but got lost in translation? Hey, I'm just giving dude benefit of the doubt



You could be right!  It just flumoxed me since I can't think what he could of been trying to say even if he was being nice...


----------



## Jes (Nov 2, 2010)

AmazingAmy said:


> [F]You could be right!  It just flumoxed me since I can't think what he could of been trying to say even if he was being nice...[/FONT]



Maybe he means you'd look even better with him on top of you.

Which is debateable. haha.


----------



## GTAFA (Nov 2, 2010)

AmazingAmy said:


> You could be right!  It just flumoxed me since I can't think what he could of been trying to say even if he was being nice...



It reminds me of this commercial. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GJidPSq2Rs

Sorry, no time travel. But yes people do sometimes say things they wish they hadn't.


----------



## LalaCity (Nov 2, 2010)

I have a new friend request from &#1607;&#1605;&#1575;&#1605; &#1581;&#1587;&#1575;&#1606;. He's from Saudi Arabia. What do you think -- should I go on another eastern spree? Is this the new Parvas?

What am I to make of the fact that he keeps sending me these clips?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9uAK9_vUWw


----------



## LalaCity (Nov 2, 2010)

He's obviously a romantic sort of guy...

...and the music _is_ catchy...


----------



## LalaCity (Nov 2, 2010)

This one freaks me out a little, though...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z78oAyZV1nY


----------



## thirtiesgirl (Nov 2, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> So's...I got a message from a really nice guy. He's educated, articulate, handsomeeeeeeee, and all that other stuff, right? We chat it up, talk on the phone for a bit...whatevs. He hangs up on me all of a sudden. Then, he messages me on yahoo and tells me there was a package at the door. Ok? It's not like I was having phone sex with him. In fact, we were talking about 4chan, somethingawful.com, and cracked.com and other nerdiness :wubu:
> 
> NOW, he's always like "I missed you" and over killing it every time he sees me online. I feel like I made a mistake in talking to this guy....he also keeps trying to send me pictures of his dick. I told him once you see one dick, you've seen them all. The ironic thing is...his headline was "looking for a nice woman".....To me, it sounds like he wants a piece of ass. lol



Yes on the married tip (having met my share of married guys online or guys with live-in girlfriends, I've become a lot better at noticing the signs), and yes on the just wanting a piece of ass. Any guy who wants to send you unsolicited pics of his johnson is not interested in much else (or so my experience has shown).


----------



## Famouslastwords (Nov 2, 2010)

LalaCity said:


> This one freaks me out a little, though...
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z78oAyZV1nY



What? I don't even know. That's...just...dude has mental issues.


----------



## willowmoon (Nov 3, 2010)

LalaCity said:


> This one freaks me out a little, though...
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z78oAyZV1nY



WHAT.
THE.
F**K. 

Oh yeah, dude's a keeper.


----------



## AmazingAmy (Nov 3, 2010)

LalaCity said:


> This one freaks me out a little, though...
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z78oAyZV1nY



Kinda makes you want to join in...


----------



## LalaCity (Nov 3, 2010)

AmazingAmy said:


> Kinda makes you want to join in...



Yeah, like I said, if you just turn the audio up and ignore the vid, they're catchy enough tunes...

Kind of hard to scrub the freaky image from yer brain once you've seen it, though..


----------



## Shosh (Nov 3, 2010)

LalaCity said:


> This one freaks me out a little, though...
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z78oAyZV1nY



The behaviour is inexcusible, but I am sure there are plenty of instances of Muslims making racist and vile remarks against Jews, they just haven't been filmed.

I don't see the point of posting this vid to be honest. 

There are assholes from every walk of life.


----------



## LalaCity (Nov 3, 2010)

Shosh said:


> The behaviour is inexcusible, but I am sure there are plenty of instances of Muslims making racist and vile remarks against Jews, they just haven't been filmed.
> 
> I don't see the point of posting this vid to be honest.
> 
> There are assholes from every walk of life.



You know, I didn't even know it was an Israeli soldier in the video until a day later. It just freaked me out that this guy thought it was a cool thing to send me.


----------



## Shosh (Nov 3, 2010)

LalaCity said:


> You know, I didn't even know it was an Israeli soldier in the video until a day later. It just freaked me out that this guy thought it was a cool thing to send me.



The behaviour is immoral and disgusting. It is inexcusible.

I just do not want to give the haters of Israel here at Dimensions ( and there are plenty of them) any ammunition.

Like I said there are low lifes everywhere you go.


----------



## LalaCity (Nov 3, 2010)

Shosh said:


> The behaviour is immoral and disgusting. It is inexcusible.
> 
> I just do not want to give the haters of Israel here at Dimensions ( and there are plenty of them) any ammunition.
> 
> Like I said there are low lifes everywhere you go.



To be honest, I didn't even make the connection. I was just weirded out by his creepy guy way of "wooing" me.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Nov 3, 2010)

I received two messages yesterday. Both of them looked to be copied from some woman's profile on a dating site and doctored up to look like his own words. One of them was so bad that he didn't even bother to change gender in the messages and it says he's a single woman wooking for a husband. Insane scam.


----------



## LovelyLiz (Nov 4, 2010)

Oh POF, how I love thee...

"Can I play with your huge tits for a few hours while I drink beer."

Classy. Though, I must admit, I am intrigued and impressed by the "for a few hours" bit.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Nov 4, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Oh POF, how I love thee...
> 
> "Can I play with your huge tits for a few hours while I drink beer."
> 
> Classy. Though, I must admit, I am intrigued and impressed by the "for a few hours" bit.



Sadly I think I know that guy.


----------



## LovelyLiz (Nov 4, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> Sadly I think I know that guy.



Ha ha! Really?!?! Is he a 34 yo living in L.A.? Or maybe he's just of a certain type...


----------



## LillyBBBW (Nov 4, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Ha ha! Really?!?! Is he a 34 yo living in L.A.? Or maybe he's just of a certain type...



No, I just know someone like that. Be glad you found out up front. I hate surprises. lol


----------



## LovelyLiz (Nov 4, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> No, I just know someone like that. Be glad you found out up front. I hate surprises. lol



Ha, so true. I just really wonder what someone could do with my boobs (or any boobs) for "a few hours"...it just seems to me that it would get boring after a little while, right? What do I know.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Nov 4, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Ha, so true. I just really wonder what someone could do with my boobs (or any boobs) for "a few hours"...it just seems to me that it would get boring after a little while, right? What do I know.



It was boring before it even begun. Just not my thing.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Nov 4, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> I just really wonder what someone could do with my boobs (or any boobs) for "a few hours"



Make your nips chapped. Guaranteed.  Notttt fun.


----------



## Paquito (Nov 4, 2010)

Man! Am so dazzled, all I can do is quote Shakespeare, 

"O wonder!/How many goodly creatures are there here!/How beauteous mankind is!/O brave new world/ that has such people in it!" The Tempest Act 5, scene 1, 181-184. 

That poetry You epitomize to the full, Dude! You bring those lines vividly alive. I feel exactly like I live in a Brave New World. The 21st Century is a radical leap in the history of Man: "A New Thing Under the Sun!" For the first time ever, young men of military age are growing as gorgeously fat and beautifully soft as guys can possibly be. The results are breath-taking! Demi-gods in their "Sexy" teens and twenties are blossoming out absolutely everywhere! 

Right now 20-25% (depending on ethnic group) of 18-to-27 year-olds are too big, and tender, and round for combat standards. In less than 15 years, more than 50% of all young men will be. The brave new world is here. FatBoys own the Future. The new soft masculine standard is fast reaching full majority status. Ultra-modern High-Tech is allowing boys to grow into the biggest, most beautiful young adult men ever seen; and, among the Chiefest of these, Dude, is You! 



He's no Parvas, but that's my man. :wubu: I bet none of you got someone quoting Shakenspeare for yo ass.


----------



## Famouslastwords (Nov 5, 2010)

Paquito said:


> Man! Am so dazzled, all I can do is quote Shakespeare,
> 
> "O wonder!/How many goodly creatures are there here!/How beauteous mankind is!/O brave new world/ that has such people in it!" The Tempest Act 5, scene 1, 181-184.
> 
> ...



I think it's kinda insulting, talking about how there's a large percent of people too fat to serve this country and how you're chiefest among them. OK We know fat people can't serve in the military, but The Brave New World comment? Rather nasty. I would so send that guy a f**k off and d-i-a-f comment.


----------



## FatAndProud (Nov 5, 2010)

Hmmm, why do they always wanna cam? If a guy wants to cam, I usually ignore him. Is that mean? lol I just figure if they rather "see" me than chat with me...then they probably don't want to meet in real life? I don't know...lol I mean, I know they're not trying to see if I'm real...cuz who fakes being a fat girl? lol


----------



## Famouslastwords (Nov 6, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> Hmmm, why do they always wanna cam? If a guy wants to cam, I usually ignore him. Is that mean? lol I just figure if they rather "see" me than chat with me...then they probably don't want to meet in real life? I don't know...lol I mean, I know they're not trying to see if I'm real...cuz who fakes being a fat girl? lol



They wanna cam so they can try to talk you into showing your naughty bits and so they can flash their cock to you.


----------



## CastingPearls (Nov 6, 2010)

Famouslastwords said:


> They wanna cam so they can try to talk you into showing your naughty bits and so they can flash their cock to you.


Yeah that sounds exactly right.


----------



## Blackjack (Nov 6, 2010)

Famouslastwords said:


> They wanna cam so they can try to talk you into showing your naughty bits and so they can flash their cock to you.



Is this wrong? Should I not do this?

Because lemme tell you, the last place I worked at, this kind of thing went on all the time.


----------



## thirtiesgirl (Nov 6, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> Is this wrong? Should I not do this?
> 
> Because lemme tell you, the last place I worked at, this kind of thing went on all the time.



If you're doing it at work, very much no. You never know if your bosses are logging your keystrokes (or other strokes...heheh) and watching everything you do. And if you're sending messages to random women on dating sites, asking to webcam chat with them...again, no. I'd never cam chat with any guy I'd met online until after I'd met him in person. The implication is always there that this random guy who I don't know will ask me to do something I don't want to do, or flash me a body part that I don't want to see, completely unasked and unwanted, expecting the same behavior in return. That's damn close to harassment, imo.


----------



## Blackjack (Nov 6, 2010)

thirtiesgirl said:


> If you're doing it at work, very much no. You never know if your bosses are logging your keystrokes (or other strokes...heheh) and watching everything you do. And if you're sending messages to random women on dating sites, asking to webcam chat with them...again, no. I'd never cam chat with any guy I'd met online until after I'd met him in person. The implication is always there that this random guy who I don't know will ask me to do something I don't want to do, or flash me a body part that I don't want to see, completely unasked and unwanted, expecting the same behavior in return. That's damn close to harassment, imo.



That breeze you felt was the joke (and Seinfeld reference) going right over your head.


----------



## thirtiesgirl (Nov 6, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> That breeze you felt was the joke (and Seinfeld reference) going right over your head.



You 'sounded' serious to me. And I haven't watched enough Seinfeld with enough repetition to get every reference. Once is usually enough for me.


----------



## Blackjack (Nov 6, 2010)

thirtiesgirl said:


> You 'sounded' serious to me. And I haven't watched enough Seinfeld with enough repetition to get every reference. Once is usually enough for me.



It's called deadpan.

Were you born without a sense of humor or did you have to work at it to kill what you had?


----------



## thirtiesgirl (Nov 6, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> It's called deadpan.
> 
> Were you born without a sense of humor or did you have to work at it to kill what you had?



Hon, if you don't like me, just say you don't like me. No need to question my sense of humor and be passive aggressive about it.


----------



## CastingPearls (Nov 6, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> Is this wrong? Should I not do this?
> 
> Because lemme tell you, the last place I worked at, this kind of thing went on all the time.


I have seen none of your naughty bits. Put up or shut up. <just sayin>


----------



## Dromond (Nov 6, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> Is this wrong? Should I not do this?
> 
> Because lemme tell you, the last place I worked at, this kind of thing went on all the time.



George Costanza trying to weasel out of getting fired for banging a cleaning lady.


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## Famouslastwords (Nov 6, 2010)

I didn't know it was a Seinfield reference but I knew he was joking, that much is obvious.


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## Christov (Nov 6, 2010)

Whoah whoah whoah.

So its _socially unacceptable_ to flash naughty bits on cam while at work?

My World just got a little bit sadder.


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## Dromond (Nov 6, 2010)

Christov said:


> Whoah whoah whoah.
> 
> So its _socially unacceptable_ to flash naughty bits on cam while at work?
> 
> My World just got a little bit sadder.



It all depends on what your job is. If your job is purveying webcam peep shows, I'd say it's pretty much a job requirement.


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## MizzSnakeBite (Nov 6, 2010)

Famouslastwords said:


> I didn't know it was a Seinfield reference but I knew he was joking, that much is obvious.



Ditto.

And 30s, saying "hon," in that context is passive aggressive. Just sayin.


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## LovelyLiz (Nov 6, 2010)

Christov said:


> Whoah whoah whoah.
> 
> So its _socially unacceptable_ to flash naughty bits on cam while at work?
> 
> My World just got a little bit sadder.



No, it's okay, you're in the UK. It's totally acceptable there. Encouraged actually, I think.


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## FatAndProud (Nov 6, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> No, it's okay, you're in the UK. It's totally acceptable there. Encouraged actually, I think.



Yeah, they drink tea and eat spotted dick.


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## Christov (Nov 6, 2010)

I think they have a cream for spotted dick now.

To the VD clinic!


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## FatAndProud (Nov 6, 2010)

Christov said:


> I think they have a cream for spotted dick now.
> 
> To the VD clinic!



Ladies and gentlemen, Christov! He'll be here all night. Don't forget to try the veal!


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## joswitch (Nov 7, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> Hmmm, why do they always wanna cam? If a guy wants to cam, I usually ignore him. Is that mean? lol I just figure if they rather "see" me than chat with me...then they probably don't want to meet in real life? I don't know...lol *I mean, I know they're not trying to see if I'm real...cuz who fakes being a fat girl?* lol



Fake fat girls - who are probably guys - are friggin' everywhere!

(see also Fantasy Feeder.... Many no pic profiles of "girls"... And some with pics stolen from web models, altho' mods nuke 'em as they find 'em)

They are cloggin' up your internetz!

As for Skyping... I prefer talking to typing....
Can't you do a voice only call on Skype??

But certainly if some dude is IMing you with "CAM ME NOW!!!" yeah, you know he's got his todger out...


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## verucassault (Nov 7, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> I don't know...lol I mean, I know they're not trying to see if I'm real...cuz who fakes being a fat girl? lol




This is my thought exactly. I know I am stunning  But who is going around pretending to be a fat black woman? REALLY. LOL I mean last time I checked "mainstream" dudes were lured in with skinny blonds.


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## FatAndProud (Nov 7, 2010)

joswitch said:


> Fake fat girls - who are probably guys - are friggin' everywhere!
> 
> (see also Fantasy Feeder.... Many no pic profiles of "girls"... And some with pics stolen from web models, altho' mods nuke 'em as they find 'em)
> 
> ...



Ok, that's on FF. I'm talking plentyoffish.com and "normal" dating sites. Guys aren't thinking I'm fake, I'm sure. They wanna see if the curtains matches the carpet or if my boobs are real, if anything. lol


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## Lovelyone (Nov 8, 2010)

"Hello Angel- You so beutiful. I thinks God sends me my angel. I want know if you look to marryge. I needs a wife cos my ladie die last year and leave me with my son..and no mom. I live in Algeria/Tunisia/Nigeria (AKA spammer heaven) and could you please to send me money to help my son? Do not forgets, I love you ladie."


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## AmazingAmy (Nov 9, 2010)

Lovelyone said:


> "Hello Angel- You so beutiful. I thinks God sends me my angel. I want know if you look to marryge. I needs a wife cos my ladie die last year and leave me with my son..and no mom. I live in Algeria/Tunisia/Nigeria (AKA spammer heaven) and could you please to send me money to help my son? Do not forgets, I love you ladie."



Nothing suspect here. Enjoy your life together, lovely.


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## spiritangel (Nov 9, 2010)

why do men think sending you a photo of their cock is gonna get you so excited that you will either have cyber sex with them or want to marry them seriously

if your gonna do that tip for men ask a lady if she wants to see it cause if you send me a pic of that your gonna get blocked and deleted on all accounts ect


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## Blackjack (Nov 9, 2010)

spiritangel said:


> why do men think sending you a photo of their cock is gonna get you so excited that you will either have cyber sex with them or want to marry them seriously
> 
> if your gonna do that tip for men ask a lady if she wants to see it cause if you send me a pic of that your gonna get blocked and deleted on all accounts ect



MY PENIS IS MAGIC


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## joswitch (Nov 9, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> MY PENIS IS MAGIC



is it called Gandalf?


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## spiritangel (Nov 9, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> MY PENIS IS MAGIC



gosh darn it cant rep you again yet sigh


I am laughing so much see now I want to see the magic penis 

so that would be an exception to the rule


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## willowmoon (Nov 9, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> MY PENIS IS MAGIC





joswitch said:


> is it called Gandalf?



One ring to rule them all. 

View attachment the ring.jpg


_Available at fine adult bookstores everywhere._


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## Jes (Nov 9, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Ha, so true. I just really wonder what someone could do with my boobs (or any boobs) for "a few hours"...it just seems to me that it would get boring after a little while, right? What do I know.



guys that promise doing anything for a few hours, or fucking you all night long, are gonna give you about 15 minutes of anything. It's like the 'one that got away' fishing story!


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## Paquito (Nov 9, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> MY PENIS IS MAGIC



I've got the magic in me...


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## cinnamitch (Nov 9, 2010)

Paquito said:


> I've got the magic in me...



Oooooo, thank you for the visual. Someone's getting KY in their stocking for Christmas.


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## Blackjack (Nov 9, 2010)

willowmoon said:


> One ring to rule them all.
> 
> View attachment 87054
> 
> ...



I don't know if I love you or hate you for this post.


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## Angel (Nov 9, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> MY PENIS IS MAGIC



Isn't magic one of those things that questionably exists yet is invisible and unquantifiable?

... and only the end results are seen?


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## FatAndProud (Nov 9, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> MY PENIS IS MAGIC



It'll be magic when it pays my bills, folds my clothes, and mows the lawn. GTFO with that thing.


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## Blackjack (Nov 9, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> It'll be magic when it pays my bills, folds my clothes, and mows the lawn. GTFO with that thing.



You have no evidence to disprove its capability of doing any of that, so suck it.

No, really- that's one way the magic works.


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## FatAndProud (Nov 9, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> You have no evidence to disprove its capability of doing any of that, so suck it.
> 
> No, really- that's one way the magic works.



THAT WAS SKILL!!!! SMOOTH. +2 Charisma.
--------------
I feel like some men message me on POF and think they're doing me a favor....like they're God's gift to fat women...and like they are hoping I'll be like AWE SOMEONE LIKES FAT GIRLS, WUT?!

Message from a man nearby (he is totally creepy looking...like he's got a nice haircut and whatever, but he's nerd to the max. I'm such a bitch):

Hi there.

Your name may be "Fat and Proud" on here, but I think a better name for you would be "Sexy and Given Lots of Compliments." I think I would be the guy to give you those compliments.

My name is xxx_manthatwillnotgetadatefromkatie_xxx but you can call me xxx_nodatesfromkatie_xxx. I just turned 32 and I am looking for a relationship, even though my profile says I'm just looking for a friend. I think you are very pretty and you seem very nice, too. I like the way you have a good sense of communication and intelligence. And I absolutely love the way you enjoy horror movies.

Do you use Yahoo messenger? My screen name is:

xxx_iwillneverdatekatie_xxx

I really like using yahoo because it is faster to chat and get to know each other in a more personal way. If you use Yahoo, please add me as a Friend. What let me know what your screen name on Yahoo, too.

I really do think we would get along well and enjoy each other's company, so if you have the time please write back to me.

Sincerely,
xxx_manthatwillneverdatekatie_xxx


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## MizzSnakeBite (Nov 9, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> **snip**
> I feel like some men message me on POF and think they're doing me a favor....like they're God's gift to fat women...and like they are hoping I'll be like AWE SOMEONE LIKES FAT GIRLS, WUT?!
> **snip**



Oh god, yes.... Some guy will act like an ass, I'll call him on it, and he'll literally say, "but I like big women!" As if that gives him an out for acting like a jerk! I swear, if I had a newspaper, I'll roll it up and pop him on the nose for that.


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## Blackjack (Nov 9, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> THAT WAS SKILL!!!! SMOOTH. +2 Charisma.



Awesome, that brings my Charisma stat to a whopping 2!

(All the points that I shoulda put in there I put instead into Dexterity, IF YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN)


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## FatAndProud (Nov 9, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> Awesome, that brings my Charisma stat to a whopping 2!
> 
> (All the points that I shoulda put in there I put instead into Dexterity, IF YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN)



I love you.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Nov 9, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> [snip]I am looking for a relationship, even though my profile says I'm just looking for a friend. [/snip]



MARRIED. lol


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## LovelyLiz (Nov 10, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> MARRIED. lol



HA! Probably so. I didn't think of that. I actually thought he sounded alright. *shrug*


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## FatAndProud (Nov 10, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> HA! Probably so. I didn't think of that. I actually thought he sounded alright. *shrug*



When a stranger hits on me immediately, I get weirded out. I rather get the "Hey, how are you today?" one-liners than...."wuzzup, gurl? u lQQkn fyne. can i holla atchu?"


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## LovelyLiz (Nov 10, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> When a stranger hits on me immediately, I get weirded out. I rather get the "Hey, how are you today?" one-liners than...."wuzzup, gurl? u lQQkn fyne. can i holla atchu?"



Yeah, I hear what you're saying. I got a TON of those one-liners too. POF is notorious for that.

But I actually think when a guy goes the extra mile to comment on specifics of my profile (since pretty much no guy seems to even read it), and say some compliments about what I wrote in particular, it can earn him some points. I mean, I know you said you weren't interested from his profile, so it's a moot point, but I actually like the more specific first messages. It shows they're putting some effort in.

I mean, if he said he wants you to bear his children, yeah...scary. But just saying you're beautiful and he likes that you like horror movies? And that from what you wrote it seems like you might hit it off? Kinda nice, imo.


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## FatAndProud (Nov 10, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Yeah, I hear what you're saying. I got a TON of those one-liners too. POF is notorious for that.
> 
> But I actually think when a guy goes the extra mile to comment on specifics of my profile (since pretty much no guy seems to even read it), and say some compliments about what I wrote in particular, it can earn him some points. I mean, I know you said you weren't interested from his profile, so it's a moot point, but I actually like the more specific first messages. It shows they're putting some effort in.
> 
> I mean, if he said he wants you to bear his children, yeah...scary. But just saying you're beautiful and he likes that you like horror movies? And that from what you wrote it seems like you might hit it off? Kinda nice, imo.



Sometimes, I feel like guys randomly put a few things in the message that makes it sound like they read the ad...lol I always get comments on the SAME thing (always the horror movies part...when there's several other things listed in my profile....camping, boating, etc). I don't know


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## FatAndProud (Nov 10, 2010)

Ok, seriously...this one is a doozy...just got this. lol

"slow and perfect ah yes lmao oh my god!"

I think he's making fun of me. So I responded by saying, "Oh hells no. I know that's not a fat joke." If it is, I'm gonna call him a real man for making fun of fat people on the internet and not to my face


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## spiritangel (Nov 10, 2010)

POF seems to harbour a lot of submissive men who like to go down on a girl for hours 

or am I the only one to repeatedly get these kinds of messages I had one guy who lives in sydney (I am getting this more local than that to btw) who is like I just want to eat you up then have you watch me wank wtf? someone explain the point of that to me please and ty


and I seem to be getting hit on by an aweful lot of americans or weird aussies
one guy wants me to bite and him and draw blood but not in a sexual way but because he is into thewhole vampire thing

at this rate I am gonna be single till I die better start saving for a decent vibrator me thinks


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## joswitch (Nov 10, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> Sometimes, I feel like guys randomly put a few things in the message that makes it sound like they read the ad...lol I always get comments on the SAME thing (always the horror movies part...when there's several other things listed in my profile....camping, boating, etc). I don't know



Y'know why that is don't you?

"Hey, come round and watch a movie at mine... I've got the latest Hatchet 3..."
Then a bit later on it's all:
:eat2:*boomchickabowwow*
while the credits roll...

Camping and boats are way more effort...


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## joswitch (Nov 10, 2010)

spiritangel said:


> POF seems to harbour a lot of submissive men who like to go down on a girl for hours
> 
> or am I the only one to repeatedly get these kinds of messages I had one guy who lives in sydney (I am getting this more local than that to btw) who is like I just want to eat you up then have you watch me wank wtf? someone explain the point of that to me please and ty
> 
> ...



Hahaha...
See, it's like this:
Most dudes would be like "ZOMG! Awesomes!" if a chick hit them up saying that she wanted to go down on him....
Sooooo they figure that's what women want too!
And that by offering such, they are showing themselves to be all enlightened and giving New Men.
No-one has told them that most women don't want New Men.
Nor that most women have a wholly different priority list to most men...
They are wandering around lost in the darkness....
It is a sad story....

Also - Rampant Rabbit from Anne Summers.
Inexpensive and effective.


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## Angel (Nov 10, 2010)

joswitch said:


> Also - Rampant Rabbit from Anne Summers.
> Inexpensive and effective.



I think that's the first time I have ever seen a guy give that type of recommendation!


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## LovelyLiz (Nov 10, 2010)

Well, here's one from Large and Lovely, I gave him my yahoo and he IMed me - a guy whose profile *said* he lived in L.A. but, surprise, he doesn't!

Him: HELLO
Me: hi there
Him: HOW YOU DOING?
Him: AM HERE
Me: I'm doing well, how about you?
Him: GREAT 
Him: WHERE YOU FROM?
Him: AM MIKE
Him: WHAT YOUR NAME?
Me: I am [fake name]
Me: where do you live?
Him: are you there?
Him: am back
Me: yes, i'm here.
Me: what is your asl?
Him: there?
Me: yes
Him: am mike
Him: from los angelies 
Him: califonia
Him: but presenly now in lagos nigeria
Him: with my mom
Me: ok. i only talk to people local.
Me: sorry.
Me: good luck to you
Him: my mom is from nigeria but my da from the stste
Him: why
Him: it dosent matter
Me: it matters to me. i do not do long distance.
Me: anyway, good luck.
Him: ohh yea i my self dont really lovee long distance relationship
Him: but my friend told me it all about love...
Me: well, hope you find love! bye for now
Him: what do you mean?
Me: i am not interested. but nice to meet you, and good luck.
Him: omg cant you just give me a tryer
Him: and let see what comeout from there///
Him: ARE YOU THERE?
Me: sorry, i really can't.
Him: ohh yeah 
Him: can i ask you a question...?
Me: sure, but then i have to go.
Him: just give me some time ok?
Him: can i ask you now...?
Him: there?
Me: yes, ask me, and then i will answer 
Me: and then i will go
Him: ok
Him: do you belive in destiny...?
Me: I believe in God.
Him: ohh yeah you have to believe in God
Him: and belive in your self right?
Me: Yes. And I don't believe in long distance relationships.
Him: ohh yeah
Me: okay, i answered your question. i need to go now.
Him: and do you belive agaod have join us together for a reason..
Me: no, not at all.
Me: now i am going to go. goodbye to you!
Him: hahahaha you so funny
Him: but i belive in god
Me: okay, well, I hope God leads you to the right person for you.
Me: Bye!

(This is where I finally hit the ignore button.)


----------



## Lovelyone (Nov 10, 2010)

I received this little gem today from someone I have NEVER exchanged emails of messages with. He is a 24 year old who dubs himself "Mr. Reality"

"Can I come ova tonight and lick that sweet p*ssy no strings attached?"

I replied, "Sure, here's my address--*I gave him the address to the local police station* Just go in and tell them that you are looking for the woman that you tried to pick up on the internet with the vulgar and cheesy pick-up line that you used in your e-mail. Oh, and BTW, when you meet my husband the chief of police..please tell him that I need him to bring home a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread after work tonight. Thanks."

I thought it would discourage him from sending me another message but it didnt. He followed up with 
"Girl you so crazy! I love that. Can I still come ova?"


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## FatAndProud (Nov 10, 2010)

"do you like to be fucked like a whore?"

Perhaps, how much will you pay me? :| SERIOUSLY? lol


----------



## Jes (Nov 10, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> . They wanna see if the curtains matches the carpet or if my boobs are real, if anything. lol



My curtains match my pubes.


----------



## Jes (Nov 10, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> But just saying you're beautiful and he likes that you like horror movies? .



I wonder if his wife likes horror movies.


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## Famouslastwords (Nov 10, 2010)

Lovelyone said:


> I received this little gem today from someone I have NEVER exchanged emails of messages with. He is a 24 year old who dubs himself "Mr. Reality"
> 
> "Can I come ova tonight and lick that sweet p*ssy no strings attached?"
> 
> ...



I can't rep you for this, but damn lol.

I would have just given him the address for the local police station and hoped he'd get pissed when he showed up.

*Edit* Also, I have given out the number to 1-800- Spank me before. I've told them my dad (I was underaged at the time) is letting me use his computer in the office and that was the number to where I was.


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## joswitch (Nov 10, 2010)

Angel said:


> I think that's the first time I have ever seen a guy give that type of recommendation!



I went two better than that...
My gf at the time was complaining her Rabbit was broken (it would only run on MAXFULLVIBE... which apparently was too intense when trying to *ahem* get the party started), and she was too self-concious to go to Anne Summers and fork over the twenty notes for a new one... So I went and got it for her... I'm not easily embarrassed...

Oh, and later, I had a look at the broken one, which was the old type with the control / batteries in a separate box, I took the back off, sussed that the problem was the rheostat / potentiometer contact had come off track and I fixed that too.


----------



## joswitch (Nov 10, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> "do you like to be fucked like a whore?"
> 
> Perhaps, how much will you pay me? :| SERIOUSLY? lol



You just know that dude sends out 10,000 of those everyday...


----------



## Paquito (Nov 10, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> "do you like to be fucked like a whore?"
> 
> Perhaps, how much will you pay me? :| SERIOUSLY? lol



at least he asked. He could've just said "I'm gonna fuck you like a whore."

You're so difficult.


----------



## Famouslastwords (Nov 10, 2010)

Paquito said:


> at least he asked. He could've just said "I'm gonna fuck you like a whore."
> 
> You're so difficult.



I thought you were serious until I saw the smiley, no joke.


----------



## CastingPearls (Nov 10, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Well, here's one from Large and Lovely, I gave him my yahoo and he IMed me - a guy whose profile *said* he lived in L.A. but, surprise, he doesn't!
> 
> Him: HELLO
> Me: hi there
> ...



OMG What is it with the 'Do you believe in God? Do you believe in Destiny cos God told me you're the one for me and you should listen to God.' stories? And YEAH all of them seem to come out of Nigeria or thereabouts.


----------



## Paquito (Nov 10, 2010)

Famouslastwords said:


> I thought you were serious until I saw the smiley, no joke.



SMILIES MAKE EVERYTHING A JOKE :eat1::happy:


----------



## Famouslastwords (Nov 10, 2010)

Paquito said:


> SMILIES MAKE EVERYTHING A JOKE :eat1::happy:



Oh yeah? Die in a fire you dirty jerk.


----------



## joswitch (Nov 10, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> OMG What is it with the 'Do you believe in God? Do you believe in Destiny cos God told me you're the one for me and you should listen to God.' stories? And YEAH all of them seem to come out of Nigeria or thereabouts.



God says you should send him money by Western Union.
And your bank details.
Oh, and marry him for a green card.
Cos his american dad, suddenly died.
And his birth certificate got lost.
But he has 26,000,000 dollars in a secret account.
So you must send $3,000 administration fee.
Oh, and he is in fact a Prince.


Of the 419 tribe.



419 is the Nigerian Penal Code for fraud.
Which has generated only a few dozen convictions in the last half a dozen years.
Probably cos 419ing is a large % of Nigeria's GDP.


----------



## FatAndProud (Nov 10, 2010)

Ay, yo, gurl. Did you fart?

....er, no, why?

Cuz you just blew me away.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite (Nov 10, 2010)

Famouslastwords said:


> I thought you were serious until I saw the smiley, no joke.





Paquito said:


> SMILIES MAKE EVERYTHING A JOKE :happy:





Famouslastwords said:


> Oh yeah? Die in a fire you dirty jerk.



I'm laughing at these exchanges, but it's making me cough up a lung. :wubu::bow:


----------



## Jes (Nov 11, 2010)

Lovelyone said:


> "Can I come ova tonight and lick that sweet p*ssy no strings attached?"




I hope you're not having your period! Talk about 'strings attached...!'


----------



## Famouslastwords (Nov 11, 2010)

Jes said:


> I hope you're not having your period! Talk about 'strings attached...!'



Ewwww lololol


----------



## spiritangel (Nov 11, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> "do you like to be fucked like a whore?"
> 
> Perhaps, how much will you pay me? :| SERIOUSLY? lol



for some reason I would have had the urge to say yes but I cost a fortune and I doubt you could afford 5mins alone with me


I love this thread for the laughter the comedy and the poor silly men who think we are genuinely going to say yes sure come on over


----------



## Shosh (Nov 11, 2010)

I recently had a man tell me that he wanted to " Explore the fetish of fucking an SSBBW"

Way to treat a woman like a slab of meat, and not a living breathing beautiful human being.

Ugh.


----------



## spiritangel (Nov 11, 2010)

wow shosh charming


gotta love a guy with class 


I got this this morning on pof seriously quite shocked am I supposed to fall over and say yes I do?

subject is Do you mind? it contains a rose (yeah cause a virtual rose makes me feeel oh sooo special)

A winter wedding? Actually summer for you lol so no problem I guess. Gawd you are gorgeous!!!



really can I add a wtf? I have never spoken to you before this is such a turn off along with the I saw your pick and your the woman for me stuff yeech there is more to me than my pics


----------



## Inhibited (Nov 11, 2010)

spiritangel said:


> POF seems to harbour a lot of submissive men who like to go down on a girl for hours
> 
> or am I the only one to repeatedly get these kinds of messages I had one guy who lives in sydney (I am getting this more local than that to btw) who is like I just want to eat you up then have you watch me wank wtf? someone explain the point of that to me please and ty
> 
> ...



Oh my i'm on pof too, can we swap names, i get sucked in easy on there, either i'm really stupid or the guys are just good at what they do and know how to get me to believe they are genuine.


----------



## Angel (Nov 12, 2010)

Lovelyone said:


> I received this little gem today from someone I have NEVER exchanged emails of messages with. He is a 24 year old who dubs himself "Mr. Reality"
> 
> "Can I come ova tonight and lick that sweet p*ssy no strings attached?"
> 
> ...





spiritangel said:


> I love this thread for the laughter the comedy and the poor silly men who think we are genuinely going to say yes sure come on over



Makes me wonder how many skanks have given these internet Romeos an immediate green light. Someone _must_ have or they wouldn't keep trying the same schtick.


----------



## Angel (Nov 12, 2010)

joswitch said:


> I went two better than that...
> My gf at the time was complaining her Rabbit was broken (it would only run on MAXFULLVIBE... which apparently was too intense when trying to *ahem* get the party started), and she was too self-concious to go to Anne Summers and fork over the twenty notes for a new one... So I went and got it for her... I'm not easily embarrassed...



*ahem* and why weren't you getting the party started?  <--- smilie hint 





joswitch said:


> Oh, and later, I had a look at the broken one, which was the old type with the control / batteries in a separate box, I took the back off, sussed that the problem was the rheostat / potentiometer contact had come off track and I fixed that too.



I know some curious chick who likes disassemblying the duds and playing amatuer electrical engineer. She has some weird incessant desire to understand how things work - or how they are _supposed_ to work. Freak. LOL



Oh honey, on you're way home from work tonight would you mind stopping at the store and buying me a new rabbit? 

.


----------



## joswitch (Nov 13, 2010)

Angel said:


> *ahem* and why weren't you getting the party started?  <--- smilie hint



We only saw each other once a week, girl has needs....
Also, variety is the spice of life.... especially during those epic 1 - 2hr sessions.... 
Also, also - power tools! 





> I know some curious chick who likes disassemblying the duds and playing amatuer electrical engineer. She has some weird incessant desire to understand how things work - or how they are _supposed_ to work. Freak. LOL
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Weird science girls FTW!


----------



## PhatChk (Nov 14, 2010)

How can I resist this email:

hey cutie,

ill be honest here im 30 live in rahway im married not happily id love a mistress and think you are gorgeous, no bs games just fun what you say?

john


----------



## Tracyarts (Nov 14, 2010)

" Makes me wonder how many skanks have given these internet Romeos an immediate green light. Someone must have or they wouldn't keep trying the same schtick. "

All it takes is one, and then in their minds that's proof that their game works. 

Tracy


----------



## FatAndProud (Nov 14, 2010)

No guys are posting their crazy first messages from online dating sites.....

I wonder why? I hate to see this thread become a man-bashing thread...lord knows I love me some men


----------



## The Orange Mage (Nov 14, 2010)

I've only been contacted a handful of times through any kind of dating site, and all of them were traditional, "hey I saw that <thing in your profile> or I really like <something about a photo posted>" and nothing crazy stupid like men tend to do.


----------



## FatAndProud (Nov 14, 2010)

Is it wrong that I'd like to send out a completely OBVIOUS crazy first internet dating message....but I fear his response would be like "HAI, K!"


----------



## The Orange Mage (Nov 14, 2010)

No, it's totally not wrong to fear that. Think up anything and you'll find someone who gets off on it, and knowing internet-dating-luck you just sent it off to the one guy who's thing is totally what you sent.


----------



## Dromond (Nov 14, 2010)

It's been a couple of years since I was last on a dating site, so I don't remember most of the opening lines I've been hit with. The crazy one that stands out in my mind is the woman who messaged me looking for a big guy (this was before my WLS) to force to lose weight.

I never before considered the possibility of an anti-feeder, but there she was.


----------



## joswitch (Nov 14, 2010)

Dromond said:


> It's been a couple of years since I was last on a dating site, so I don't remember most of the opening lines I've been hit with. The crazy one that stands out in my mind is the woman who messaged me looking for a big guy (this was before my WLS) to force to lose weight.
> 
> I never before considered the possibility of an anti-feeder, but there she was.



Maybe it was Meme Roth, or Gillian McKeith??


----------



## GTAFA (Nov 14, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> No guys are posting their crazy first messages from online dating sites.....
> 
> I wonder why? I hate to see this thread become a man-bashing thread...lord knows I love me some men



Is it biology (as far as i understand, men arouse faster) or social custom (girls waiting for the boys to come to them) that men usually make the first move? Under the circumstances, how likely is it that men will have tons of messages --dumb or otherwise-- to show? If and when a woman gets so excited that they behave like a man (that is, sending hair-brained horny messages in desperation) the guy might brag about it, but likely won't complain. Men like it by and large: although to be honest i can't speak from personal experience...(!)


----------



## Blackjack (Nov 14, 2010)

The Orange Mage said:


> Think up anything and you'll find someone who gets off on it



Rule 34 of the Internet.


----------



## FatAndProud (Nov 14, 2010)

So, do guys like being messaged first?  I'm always reluctant to message someone first....especially on a normal site like POF. Not a lot of guys take kindly to ssbbw. I rather them see I'm like fat...and decide if they'd like to talk lol


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 14, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> So, do guys like being messaged first?  I'm always reluctant to message someone first....especially on a normal site like POF. Not a lot of guys take kindly to ssbbw. I rather them see I'm like fat...and decide if they'd like to talk lol



I have found that approach works best for me, as well.


----------



## superodalisque (Nov 14, 2010)

Should i just sign my paycheck over to you now or wait until we're married


signed,
Hebrew Slave


----------



## Famouslastwords (Nov 14, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> Should i just sign my paycheck over to you now or wait until we're married
> 
> 
> signed,
> Hebrew Slave



I'd be like. Now plz kkthnx


----------



## bmann0413 (Nov 17, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> No guys are posting their crazy first messages from online dating sites.....
> 
> I wonder why? I hate to see this thread become a man-bashing thread...lord knows I love me some men



I never get messaged. (shrugs)


----------



## LovelyLiz (Nov 17, 2010)

Just got this on okCupid:

"So what sexual things do you like to talk about?"

Gotta love the subtlety.


----------



## Dromond (Nov 17, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Just got this on okCupid:
> 
> "So what sexual things do you like to talk about?"
> 
> Gotta love the subtlety.



Tell him you have a necrophilic bestiality fetish. With chainsaws.


----------



## pinkylou (Nov 17, 2010)

My most recent odd first message...

Date: 11-09-2010
Subject: Greetings
Hi, firstly, omg, you look gorgous, my wife and I are looking for a threesome partner if you are interested, or I would love to see you just us if that would be better 

xxx 


erm...no thanks...blocked!!!


----------



## LovelyLiz (Nov 17, 2010)

Dromond said:


> Tell him you have a necrophilic bestiality fetish. With chainsaws.



I just replied with that response.

Nicely done.


----------



## Saoirse (Nov 17, 2010)

I sent a hot boy that I'd never met (we had mutual friends) a Facebook message saying "I dont mean to be creepy but you are fucking adorable and I think we should be friends."

it totally worked. :bow:


----------



## The Orange Mage (Nov 17, 2010)

Well done!  I bet if you used that line on a random sample of men and women, you'd get a few more hits from the guys than from the girls.

Heck, you'd be surprised how many successes you get in general!


----------



## Famouslastwords (Nov 17, 2010)

Props to Dromond for spelling bestiality right!


----------



## Dromond (Nov 17, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> I just replied with that response.
> 
> Nicely done.



w00t! You'll have to report back with his response. 



Famouslastwords said:


> Props to Dromond for spelling bestiality right!



lol, thank you.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 21, 2010)

Famouslastwords said:


> Props to Dromond for spelling bestiality right!



a2m, d2m, the correct spelling of bestiality????

You know too much......


That is all


----------



## joswitch (Nov 22, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Just got this on okCupid:
> 
> "So what sexual things do you like to talk about?"
> 
> Gotta love the subtlety.



Hey, it's a step up from sending you a pic of his knob, eh?


----------



## cinnamitch (Nov 22, 2010)

Oh the joys of the internet

hi *baby*,am from ****** ******,23yrs old,,,am loving,caring,honest and sincere, person with moral , principles, intelligent,reliable, optimistic,creative, confident, spontaneous, humorous planned, and above all am a good looking person,,i loving making friends,going to the beach,watching movies,playing video games and also swimming,,,AM the one you are looking for *baby*. how are you doing today,i was going through your profile and i was impress with what i saw,so i want us to get in touch with each other.......this is my email address **********@ymail.com or better still text me on this numbers &&&&&&&&&&,,,,,,,,,,please send me your email address and your number so that we get to know each other,,,,,,,,,i will be waiting for you *baby*,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*,baby* i cant stop thinking about you so please reply OK,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and if you don't i gonna go crazy* baby*

Right now I am torn between wanting to be burped and feeling like i need a diaper change


----------



## willowmoon (Nov 22, 2010)

cinnamitch said:


> Oh the joys of the internet
> 
> hi *baby*,am from ****** ******,23yrs old,,,am loving,caring,honest and sincere, person with moral , principles, intelligent,reliable, optimistic,creative, confident, spontaneous, humorous planned, and above all am a good looking person,,i loving making friends,going to the beach,watching movies,playing video games and also swimming,,,AM the one you are looking for *baby*. how are you doing today,i was going through your profile and i was impress with what i saw,so i want us to get in touch with each other.......this is my email address **********@ymail.com or better still text me on this numbers &&&&&&&&&&,,,,,,,,,,please send me your email address and your number so that we get to know each other,,,,,,,,,i will be waiting for you *baby*,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*,baby* i cant stop thinking about you so please reply OK,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and if you don't i gonna go crazy* baby*
> 
> Right now I am torn between wanting to be burped and feeling like i need a diaper change



Don't say that -- the next thing you know, you'll be targeteted by some sort of diaper fetishist. Is "fetishist" a word? I dunno ....


----------



## liz (di-va) (Nov 22, 2010)

I got an email last week with the subject line "IF I HAD YOUR CONSENT..." 

The actual text of the email was much less alarming, but I do not think the dude realized how aggressive that sounded (otherwise he wouldn't have written it). Yoiks.


----------



## Famouslastwords (Nov 23, 2010)

cinnamitch said:


> Oh the joys of the internet
> 
> hi *baby*,am from ****** ******,23yrs old,,,am loving,caring,honest and sincere, person with moral , principles, intelligent,reliable, optimistic,creative, confident, spontaneous, humorous planned, and above all am a good looking person,,i loving making friends,going to the beach,watching movies,playing video games and also swimming,,,AM the one you are looking for *baby*. how are you doing today,i was going through your profile and i was impress with what i saw,so i want us to get in touch with each other.......this is my email address **********@ymail.com or better still text me on this numbers &&&&&&&&&&,,,,,,,,,,please send me your email address and your number so that we get to know each other,,,,,,,,,i will be waiting for you *baby*,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*,baby* i cant stop thinking about you so please reply OK,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and if you don't i gonna go crazy* baby*
> 
> Right now I am torn between wanting to be burped and feeling like i need a diaper change


LOL Are you on a dating site or was this from Facebook?



willowmoon said:


> Don't say that -- the next thing you know, you'll be targeteted by some sort of diaper fetishist. Is "fetishist" a word? I dunno ....



Yes, yes it is.


----------



## Carrie (Nov 24, 2010)

I... just got an email from a guy saying he wished he was "the one doing [my] Thanksgiving stuffing". 

:\


----------



## CleverBomb (Nov 24, 2010)

Carrie said:


> I... just got an email from a guy saying he wished he was "the one doing [my] Thanksgiving stuffing".
> 
> :\


Breadcrumbs are teh seksay. 

Wait, what? Is this some peculiar courtship ritual of which I have been heretofore blissfully unaware?

-Rusty


----------



## The Orange Mage (Nov 24, 2010)

I got one in the last 24 hours that literally said the following:

---

Gack! You need to live closer!

A hot, dorky, skinny FA!

I clearly need to move!

---

However, the account no longer exists, since the person in question probably deleted/disabled it.


----------



## liz (di-va) (Nov 24, 2010)

Carrie said:


> I... just got an email from a guy saying he wished he was "the one doing [my] Thanksgiving stuffing". :\



!!!! ! !!!!


----------



## mszwebs (Nov 24, 2010)

Carrie said:


> I... just got an email from a guy saying he *wished he was "the one doing [my] Thanksgiving stuffing". *
> 
> :\



Don't we all 



(oy)


----------



## Carrie (Nov 25, 2010)

liz (di-va) said:


> !!!! ! !!!!


That pretty well sums up my reaction. 



mszwebs said:


> Don't we all
> 
> 
> 
> (oy)


Hah! Yes, yes we do.


----------



## LovelyLiz (Nov 25, 2010)

This first message really isn't all that crazy...but the insane overuse of exclamation points makes the way it sounds in my head HILARIOUS.
------------
Hi

It's [name]! Is it possible you could make an exception in my case!

I like your profile! Well, I live in London. I was born in England, have lived here all my life.

In my spare time I enjoy going to the cinema, theatre, art gallery/ museums and rock concerts.

Sometimes, I like to eat out in restaurants too. I'm really fond of Italian food! And I love Italian red wine! Do you like Italian food? By the way, I don't smoke!

I love to travel and explore new places, make new friends and acquire new experiences! Life is for living and for learning!

I have been to the USA...twice! It's a land of contrasts! The montains and the lakes! I love the food and I love the people! And the girls are so diverse and so pretty! Yes, I would love to live/retire in the USA...if that's feasible! Who knows!

I'd like to meet someone who is kind and loving. Maybe you!

Best wishes,
[name]
-----------
By the way, I don't smoke! !!! LOL.


----------



## Famouslastwords (Nov 25, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> This first message really isn't all that crazy...but the insane overuse of exclamation points makes the way it sounds in my head HILARIOUS.
> ------------
> Hi
> 
> ...



Whoa exclamation points.


----------



## Mohulis (Nov 25, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> I have been to the USA...twice! *It's a land of contrasts! The montains and the lakes!* I love the food and I love the people! And the girls are so diverse and so pretty! Yes, I would love to live/retire in the USA...if that's feasible! Who knows!



Mountains and lakes are contrasting? Different, certainly. I know I'm crazy, but I would consider mountains and flat land to be contrasting. *shrug*


----------



## LovelyLiz (Nov 25, 2010)

Famouslastwords said:


> Whoa exclamation points.



Can you believe it! I couldn't when I read it! So much enthusiasm! At least in terms of punctuation! By the way, I don't smoke!



Mohulis said:


> Mountains and lakes are contrasting? Different, certainly. I know I'm crazy, but I would consider mountains and flat land to be contrasting. *shrug*



How can you argue with him! It's a land of contrasts! Mountains are made of dry dirt! Lakes are made of wet water! Voila! He's just so excited! (Btw, I agree with you. I don't know that verbal precision is this guy's strong suit. It's excitability!)


----------



## Mohulis (Nov 25, 2010)

> How can you argue with him! It's a land of contrasts! Mountains are made of dry dirt! Lakes are made of wet water! Voila! He's just so excited! (Btw, I agree with you. I don't know that verbal precision is this guy's strong suit. It's excitability!)



roflmao.

So where did this message come from anyway? If you don't mind me asking.


----------



## LovelyLiz (Nov 25, 2010)

Mohulis said:


> roflmao.
> 
> So where did this message come from anyway? If you don't mind me asking.



largeandlovely.com

I've never really met anyone on there in person (I don't think they have a ton of active members, compared to other sites), but I bought a permanent membership several years ago, so I still go on from time to time to see what gems await.


----------



## Mohulis (Nov 25, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> largeandlovely.com
> 
> I've never really met anyone on there in person (I don't think they have a ton of active members, compared to other sites), but I bought a permanent membership several years ago, so I still go on from time to time to see what gems await.



Cool.  Are the BBW/BHM focused dating sites just as bad as the "regular" dating sites? I've never had any kind of success on a dating site... just messages from the chicks that are supposed to keep you a paying member. No replies from any messages I sent out either. /shrug


----------



## The Orange Mage (Nov 25, 2010)

The Orange Mage said:


> I got one in the last 24 hours that literally said the following:
> 
> ---
> 
> ...



Did some googling and found out this person is a Dims member who hasn't posted in about two years. Small world!


----------



## LovelyLiz (Nov 25, 2010)

The Orange Mage said:


> Did some googling and found out this person is a Dims member who hasn't posted in about two years. Small world!



Did you send her a message?

I am also of the screen name googling persuasion. Knowledge is power!


----------



## Omega (Nov 25, 2010)

SoVerySoft said:


> Him: (4/30/2010 9:26:34 PM):* give me the size *
> soverysoft1 (4/30/2010 9:26:39 PM): bye!



I'm sorry but this made me cry/laugh/cough so hard my side hurts


----------



## SoVerySoft (Nov 25, 2010)

Omega said:


> I'm sorry but this made me cry/laugh/cough so hard my side hurts



I laughed too. It's so absurd!


----------



## joswitch (Nov 25, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> This first message really isn't all that crazy...but the insane overuse of exclamation points makes the way it sounds in my head HILARIOUS.
> ------------
> Hi
> 
> ...



I like to think he is SHOUTING this at you...
Say... ACROSS A RAVINE!
It really works that way...

And hey, he doesn't smoke!!!... now, how can you miss out on that?


----------



## Your Plump Princess (Nov 26, 2010)

Just got this one on PoF: 
_
The Title was: You want children?_
"I'll provide you with them if you want,,,write me. We can talk more"


----------



## AmazingAmy (Nov 26, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> This first message really isn't all that crazy...but the insane overuse of exclamation points makes the way it sounds in my head HILARIOUS.
> ------------
> Hi
> 
> ...



Joswitch is right, it makes it completely normal to imagine him shouting this at you from a considerable distances.  But I actually think all the exclamations make him sound quite adorable! Who doesn't like to chat with someone with a bit of ENTHUSIASM?! I KNOW I DO!


----------



## Luv2BNaughty (Nov 26, 2010)

Your Plump Princess said:


> Just got this one on PoF:
> _
> The Title was: You want children?_
> "I'll provide you with them if you want,,,write me. We can talk more"



LOL!! Ohh, that's hilarious!

Maybe that's his preemptive way of letting you know that he has several already lol


----------



## Your Plump Princess (Nov 26, 2010)

Honestly, all I could be reminded of was The Monk, Miroku from *Inuyasha*


----------



## LovelyLiz (Nov 26, 2010)

AmazingAmy said:


> Joswitch is right, it makes it completely normal to imagine him shouting this at you from a considerable distances.  But I actually think all the exclamations make him sound quite adorable! Who doesn't like to chat with someone with a bit of ENTHUSIASM?! I KNOW I DO!



I'll forward him your contact info, then. He's in the UK anyway. 

No I won't really give him your info...lol.


----------



## CleverBomb (Nov 26, 2010)

So, he was literally! shouting! across an OCEAN!

Righto, it makes sense, then.

-Rusty
(actually, it reminds me of how The Register reports on news about Yahoo! with all the extraneous exclamation points...)


----------



## Famouslastwords (Nov 26, 2010)

Your Plump Princess said:


> Just got this one on PoF:
> _
> The Title was: You want children?_
> "I'll provide you with them if you want,,,write me. We can talk more"




Ummm HAI GUY, HOW ABOUT YOU GET TO KNOW ME FIRST BEFORE YOU KNOCK ME UP AND/OR PUT YOUR CHILDREN AROUND ME- (I could be psycho)


Some men are stupid! Then again some women are too!


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Nov 27, 2010)

I always had good luck with, "I put on my robe and wizard hat".


----------



## spiritangel (Nov 27, 2010)

Admiral_Snackbar said:


> I always had good luck with, "I put on my robe and wizard hat".



see Id respond to that because you made me laugh, I am a harry potter nerd, and it is different


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Nov 27, 2010)

spiritangel said:


> see Id respond to that because you made me laugh, I am a harry potter nerd, and it is different



I think Bloodninja predates Harry Potter, but ok .


----------



## Famouslastwords (Nov 28, 2010)

I knew what it was, and I would still respond, because it's funny.


----------



## Shosh (Nov 30, 2010)

Is it just me or are some men absolute pigs?

I had a man contact me, and his opening words in the IM conversation were to tell me he was looking for a sex buddy. I do not even get a " How are you? Tell me about you? etc
When I asked him if he had read my profile, and how he felt about BBW's, he said " You being big is fine for a sex buddy, but I would want a thinner woman for a long term relationship"

I am so disgusted. Why do these men contact you when you have been 100% honest and upfront about being a BBW, pictures and all, and you have written about what you are looking for, namely a long term relationship with a man that has a preference for BBW's.

I am so disgusted with men right now.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Nov 30, 2010)

Shosh said:


> Is it just me or are some men absolute pigs?
> 
> I had a man contact me, and his opening words in the IM conversation were to tell me he was looking for a sex buddy. I do not even get a " How are you? Tell me about you? etc
> When I asked him if he had read my profile, and how he felt about BBW's, he said " You being big is fine for a sex buddy, but I would want a thinner woman for a long term relationship"
> ...



What an asshole. I'm in such a mean mood lately. I would write back the following:

"Look man, let me be blunt. You're ugly. You're ugly and you're stupid. Frankly you simply can't afford to be too choosey 'holding out' for anything under the circumstances. If somebody -- anybody -- offers you something you TAKE IT! Take it immediately and without complaint otherwise it's going to be a long night for you. Thanks for the reply though, and you're welcome."


----------



## Dromond (Dec 1, 2010)

Shosh said:


> Is it just me or are some men absolute pigs?
> 
> I had a man contact me, and his opening words in the IM conversation were to tell me he was looking for a sex buddy. I do not even get a " How are you? Tell me about you? etc
> When I asked him if he had read my profile, and how he felt about BBW's, he said " You being big is fine for a sex buddy, but I would want a thinner woman for a long term relationship"
> ...



Actually, you should appreciate his honesty in a way. He's not disguising what he wants, and therefore he's not attempting to deceive in any way. I don't have nearly the problem with guys like him as I do with the ones who will lie to you to try to get you into bed. He saves you and other women from possible pain in the future.


----------



## Shosh (Dec 1, 2010)

Dromond said:


> Actually, you should appreciate his honesty in a way. He's not disguising what he wants, and therefore he's not attempting to deceive in any way. I don't have nearly the problem with guys like him as I do with the ones who will lie to you to try to get you into bed. He saves you and other women from possible pain in the future.



Um did he read my profile? No. I already spelled it out that I was not looking for casual sexual encounters.
Some of these men need to take the time to actually read a profile, before they go in, thinking with their other head.
And to not even ask a person how they are before launching into the whole ' I wanna sex buddy" thing? Just crass. I have no time for men with a lack of basic manners.

Thankfully the man that I have cared for for quite a while seems to be almost ready to step up and start a relationship.

I let him be because I did not want to rush him, so I thought I might persue dating until and if he wanted to be with me.

I was not even sure he wanted anything until yesterday.

I know this man IRL. He is not some clueless internet male.

Internet dating? 98% of the time bites.


----------



## Shosh (Dec 1, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> What an asshole. I'm in such a mean mood lately. I would write back the following:
> 
> "Look man, let me be blunt. You're ugly. You're ugly and you're stupid. Frankly you simply can't afford to be too choosey 'holding out' for anything under the circumstances. If somebody -- anybody -- offers you something you TAKE IT! Take it immediately and without complaint otherwise it's going to be a long night for you. Thanks for the reply though, and you're welcome."



Thanks bud.


----------



## Dromond (Dec 1, 2010)

Shosh said:


> Um did he read my profile? No. I already spelled it out that I was not looking for casual sexual encounters.
> Some of these men need to take the time to actually read a profile, before they go in, thinking with their other head.
> And to not even ask a person how they are before launching into the whole ' I wanna sex buddy" thing? Just crass. I have no time for men with a lack of basic manners.
> 
> ...



I never said he wasn't an idiot, because he clearly was an idiot. Women have the same problems with dating site profile reading comprehension, trust me. People don't read profiles most of the time, just like they don't read signs.

Knowing him in real life doesn't make him less of a clueless Internet male, BTW.


----------



## CarlaSixx (Dec 1, 2010)

Yesterday I had a 47 year old man message me. He was saying he was looking for sexual play and fantasy play. Something else too but I forget what. And he goes. "Im looking for all this on here, but I am married. Hope that's okay." 

Ummm... :doh: NO! At first the age was a problem, then the fact that he was just looking for sex, but then that he was MARRIED?! 

I messages him back saying "If you're wife hasn't consented to this, I hope she amputates your dick in the middle of the night."

seriously..... :doh:


----------



## joswitch (Dec 2, 2010)

CarlaSixx said:


> Yesterday I had a 47 year old man message me. He was saying he was looking for sexual play and fantasy play. Something else too but I forget what. And he goes. "Im looking for all this on here, but I am married. Hope that's okay."
> 
> Ummm... :doh: NO! At first the age was a problem, then the fact that he was just looking for sex, but then that he was MARRIED?!
> 
> ...




I'm always creeped out by the whole "Haha, here's a casual joke about genital mutilation"... Maybe it's just me?


----------



## Famouslastwords (Dec 2, 2010)

joswitch said:


> I'm always creeped out by the whole "Haha, here's a casual joke about genital mutilation"... Maybe it's just me?



Uhhh if you're going to cheat on your wife, why the fuck did you marry her to begin with? Damn straight she should amputate his dick unless he has her permission!


----------



## CarlaSixx (Dec 3, 2010)

It actually wasn't a casual joke. If he is cheating, I hope she finds out and exacts her revenge. It's frequently done where I'm from, though, so it's perhaps not see in the same light.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Dec 3, 2010)

CarlaSixx said:


> It actually wasn't a casual joke. If he is cheating, I hope she finds out and exacts her revenge. It's frequently done where I'm from, though, so it's perhaps not see in the same light.



Not particularly. If a woman cheated on her husband and her husband harmed her in any way as a result he would face serious consequences and his actions would be universally condemned. It makes a mighty fine joke in some parts of the US but I don't think overall genital mutilation is seen as an appropriate response when a spouse or lover cheats. My take is that a cheating lover is not worth doing time for.


----------



## thatgirl08 (Dec 3, 2010)

CarlaSixx said:


> It actually wasn't a casual joke. If he is cheating, I hope she finds out and exacts her revenge. It's frequently done where I'm from, though, so it's perhaps not see in the same light.



People frequently cut off other peoples dicks in Canada?


----------



## gobettiepurple (Dec 3, 2010)

CarlaSixx said:


> It actually wasn't a casual joke. If he is cheating, I hope she finds out and exacts her revenge. It's frequently done where I'm from, though, so it's perhaps not see in the same light.



I hate to send all the men running to the hills, but I support Carla here . . . If you are going to cheat, you are going to get something cut off. I cannot imagine someone cheating on me, just dont enter into a romantic relationship with me to being with. period.

I have had guys message me online as well, saying that they were "polyamorous" and "wouldn't I love to have multiple boyfriends", etc. Um, no. I wouldn't. Doesn't monogamy and committment mean anything to anyone?

Don't get me wrong, I am not one of those girls that jumps into a committed relationship. Nor am I one of those clingy girls that assumes that just because I am casually dating some guy, doesn't mean that he isnt going to look around for something else if I dont happen to fulfill his needs. However, I can also safely say I have never been in a committed relationship, because to me it actually means something. Casual dating is awesome and fun, and it doesn't have to be complicated or serious. 

Marriage is something totally different . . . that takes work and courage and committment, its as complicated and messy as life can be. Sometimes people take the plunge without taking the serious stuff into account. Cheating is just wrong and I would never be able to trust that person again.


----------



## willowmoon (Dec 3, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> People frequently cut off other peoples dicks in Canada?



Yep. Blame Canada. Yes, a "South Park" reference.


----------



## LovelyLiz (Dec 4, 2010)

"Hi how are you sweety you are so sweet
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm i likey"

Be still my beating heart.


----------



## CarlaSixx (Dec 4, 2010)

willowmoon said:


> Yep. Blame Canada. Yes, a "South Park" reference.



Omg! I love that song! It used to be my ringtone and then all my friends stole it, lol.

And yes. Dick chopping is done quite often over here. In the last 5 years, there's been 7 reports of it in my area alone. I won't even begin to name out the types of revenge that the men would get on cheating women, though. It happens more often. Women have a tendency to just do blackmail. The men are the ones who tend to want tangible/visible revenge.


----------



## joswitch (Dec 4, 2010)

CarlaSixx said:


> Omg! I love that song! It used to be my ringtone and then all my friends stole it, lol.
> 
> And yes. Dick chopping is done quite often over here. In the last 5 years, there's been 7 reports of it in my area alone.



What state do you live in?
Pyschotario???

Holy fuck.
And I thought it was just a bad taste joke.:doh:
I'm absolutely gobsmacked that anybody, anywhere thinks that physically maiming, particularly genitally mutilating their partner (regardless of gender) in posessive, jealous vengeance is - Woopdedoo, an ok thing to do!

Seriously, people, your partner is NOT your posession.

If you're unhappy with their behaviour, you can leave them.
That's your recourse.
You don't get to hack 'em up.:doh:



> I won't even begin to name out the types of revenge that the men would get on cheating women, though. It happens more often. Women have a tendency to just do blackmail. The men are the ones who tend to want tangible/visible revenge.




And really, I think you should name these "types of revenge that the men would get on cheating women"... instead of just floating it out there... It's worse than genital mutilation how exactly???


----------



## joswitch (Dec 4, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> Not particularly. * If a woman cheated on her husband and her husband harmed her in any way as a result he would face serious consequences and his actions would be universally condemned.* ...



^Exactly this.
Thank you for the sanity.


----------



## joswitch (Dec 4, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> "Hi how are you sweety you are so sweet
> mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm i likey"
> 
> Be still my beating heart.



Yay! 
Back to the funny!
Woo!

(jesus, this thread dipped into the darkness for a moment there, eh?)


----------



## joswitch (Dec 4, 2010)

Carlasixx said:


> I won't even begin to name out the types of revenge that the men would get on cheating women, though. It happens more often. Women have a tendency to just do blackmail. The men are the ones who tend to want tangible/visible revenge.





joswitch said:


> And really, I think you should name these "types of revenge that the men would get on cheating women"... instead of just floating it out there... It's worse than genital mutilation how exactly???



(Damn, I'm too late for the edit)

Actually, please don't bother (naming types of revenge).
Apart from the Lounge being meant for fun things, "the men" is such a wild generalisation that it's pointless.

There isn't even an argument to be had here. 
It's really, really simple:
Anyone, man or woman, who thinks mutilating (genitally or otherwise) their cheating partner for revenge is either insane or evil, or both.

That other people may do other things which are equally, or more insane / evil, is totally irrelevant. It does not justify (genital) mutilation. Not. In. Any. Way.

That's it.
No more to be said.


And now, back to the funny that this thread started with...
Please...
I was enjoying the funny...


----------



## Tanuki (Dec 4, 2010)

I have had some weird ones.. they tend to amuse me

"Yo girl how bout yo let me lick dem feet"

"tlk 2 me i am yahoo"

"Have you ever been to any northern African countrys?"

then there is the classic...

"wanna see me jerk it on cam? c'moooooooon let me do it"


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Dec 4, 2010)

joswitch said:


> (Damn, I'm too late for the edit)
> 
> Actually, please don't bother (naming types of revenge).
> Apart from the Lounge being meant for fun things, "the men" is such a wild generalisation that it's pointless.
> ...



I'm curious if you're as up in arms over the female genital mutilation (link to World Health Organization article on it) that has happened for generation upon generation in Africa, Asia, the Middle-East, and even certain immigrant populations in North America and Europe.

Worldwide there are 100 to 140 MILLION women living TODAY who have undergone this atrocity - and yet the outcry against it is far less vocal than the outcry of angry men over the thought of even one less-than-innocent man having it happen to him.

I think Carla's comment was an off-hand joke, and that she's someone (like me) who doesn't want to back down from what she said so she ended up defending something she really didn't believe was right (sorry, Carla, if I'm wrong, but that's what it seems like). I don't think any of us actually believe it would EVER be right to physically mutilate someone, no matter how much of a cheating douchebag he (or she) is. I do think cheaters deserve everything that's coming to them - but I believe that's _psychological_ misery, not physical.

As I said, though, if the thought of sexual mutilation is so untenable to you, I hope you're willing to channel some of that energy into a much more widespread problem.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Dec 4, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> I'm curious if you're as up in arms over the female genital mutilation (link to World Health Organization article on it) that has happened for generation upon generation in Africa, Asia, the Middle-East, and even certain immigrant populations in North America and Europe.
> 
> Worldwide there are 100 to 140 MILLION women living TODAY who have undergone this atrocity - and yet the outcry against it is far less vocal than the outcry of angry men over the thought of even one less-than-innocent man having it happen to him.
> 
> ...



Yeah. Prepare to assume the fetal position and dust off your happy place because I don't think she was kidding. Yet one more area of the world where genital mutilation is considered just and the proper order of things.


----------



## joswitch (Dec 4, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> I'm curious if you're as up in arms over the female genital mutilation (link to World Health Organization article on it)



Why, now that you mention it, yes I know about this.
And yes I am "as up in arms over" it.
Insofar as: I think that it's an insane and evil practice, which sickens and angers me, and if ever I had the opportunity or power to prevent such, then I would. 
And I don't give a crap if anyone thinks it's "cultural". 
Let girls grow up whole. As adults they may chose to do what they wish with their own bodies. I'll bet they don't choose that^.



> that has happened for generation upon generation in Africa, Asia, the Middle-East, and even certain immigrant populations in North America and Europe.
> 
> Worldwide there are 100 to 140 MILLION women living TODAY who have undergone this atrocity - and yet the outcry against it is far less vocal than the outcry of angry men over the thought of even one less-than-innocent man having it happen to him.


Er, not at all oddly, there's been no "outcry" about it - in this thread - because, until just now, no-one had mentioned it.
That said: 
1) if you scroll back up, you'll note that my "outcry" is framed in a gender neutral fashion. Because, yes, I already knew about - see above^
and
2) crimes against one person / group of people, do not make other crimes against another person / group of people, somehow "less" or "ok"



> I think Carla's comment was an off-hand joke, and that she's someone (like me) who doesn't want to back down from what she said so she ended up defending something she really didn't believe was right (sorry, Carla, if I'm wrong, but that's what it seems like). I don't think any of us actually believe it would EVER be right to physically mutilate someone, no matter how much of a cheating douchebag he (or she) is.



I thought it was just a sick joke too. That's why my opening remark was basically "Ew, creepy joke"....

But when *Carla said:
"It actually wasn't a casual joke. If he is cheating, I hope she finds out and exacts her revenge. It's frequently done where I'm from, though, so it's perhaps not see in the same light."
*

I'll take her at her word. Along with Famouslastwords and GoBettiePurple too... Why would they lie about something like that???



> I do think cheaters deserve everything that's coming to them - but I believe that's _psychological_ misery, not physical.
> 
> As I said, though, if the thought of sexual mutilation is so untenable to you, I hope you're willing to channel some of that energy into a much more widespread problem.



And what, exactly, are you suggesting that could be effective?
Seriously, I'm all ears.

I've read accounts of this on the web where a fella's wife took the daughters off to see relatives in Africa, and phoned home to say she was going to get them "circumcised" i.e. mutilated while she was out there. Apparently, only when he threatened to kill his wife if she did so, (together with a promise that he would take them to the doctor's on her return, so they could be examined and confirmed uninjured) did she desist from this horrific course. 

^*That* is a measure of the strength of feeling and the culturally embedded nature of this horrendous practice. 
I don't think a letter writing campaign or "raising awareness" is going to cut the mustard, y'know?

I remember when General Sani Abacha (then ruler of Nigeria) was about to hang Ken Saro-wiwa and his fellow Ogoni human-rights / anti-Shell campaigners, back in the early 90s... I got involved in the Amnesty Inernational letter writing campaign and wrote an article for the student paper etc. etc.
They hung him before the ink was dry.

There's a lot of bad, bad stuff in the world, that is beyond both my reach and my grasp.


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## joswitch (Dec 4, 2010)

Tanuki Kimberly said:


> I have had some weird ones.. they tend to amuse me
> *
> "Yo girl how bout yo let me lick dem feet"
> 
> ...



Lolz!


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## FatAndProud (Dec 4, 2010)

You guys are totally killing the thread. Please, let me wallow in my failed attempts at dating the mens by posting awkward/silly/lolwut messages from internet guys. Thank you.


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## LovelyLiz (Dec 4, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> You guys are totally killing the thread. Please, let me wallow in my failed attempts at dating the mens by posting awkward/silly/lolwut messages from internet guys. Thank you.



Seriously! High five, sistah. How did a thread about hilarious online messages become an intense argument about genital mutilation?! Only on Dims.


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## willowmoon (Dec 4, 2010)

Tanuki Kimberly said:


> I have had some weird ones.. they tend to amuse me
> 
> "tlk 2 me i am yahoo"



Serious? View attachment yahoo.jpg


Whatever happened to that guy anyway?


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## CarlaSixx (Dec 4, 2010)

It may have been my comment, but let it drop, gawd dammit.
Seriously.

It happens to both men and women, and yes, the "payback" men do over here is rape and mutilate women, too. So that's what I meant.

And what I meant by "not seen in the same light" was that you probably don't understand the point of view of others. Not that it's a "common thing to do." Just that... well... it's been done, and more than once. It's not like a "right of passage." It's something that they take a long time to think about after a lot of hurt and abuse. No, it's not right. But you know... sometimes people will keep hurting others until the same thing or worse is done to them. THAT'S where *I *was coming from with my message.

So now... that's it. Don't understand it now? I don't care. You're not reading it properly if you don't understand it now.

But aaaaaaanyways....

Message:

"Hey baby. If I bring you out to eat as many hamburgers as you want, will you return the favor and give me head?"



What class.


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## LovelyLiz (Dec 4, 2010)

A little gem I was just sent by a 21 year old on okcupid:

"Can I eat you out? I've always wanted to eat out a full figured woman."

Don't I even get dinner first? Why does only one of us get to eat? Seems unfair.


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## LillyBBBW (Dec 4, 2010)

_"...I am really looking for a woman whose completely honest and sincere about his words and feelings whose ready for a long term relationship,whose ready to build up a family with someone real..I want a woman who i know i can have faith and completely trust with all my heart cause to make a standard relationship it must really be based on trust,love,honesty,understanding and communication....Well,I believe in devoting my time to my loved ones and making them real happy cause they are my own families and i always do look forward to that day i will get to meet my dream woman and i know when he gets to meet me he will be so happy to get along with my kind of person too... "_​
Does anybody ever get messages like these where the syntax is completely askew and the gender gets mixed up from time to time? I get them ALL the time. I'm beginning to wonder if it's a scam, like some kind of reply generator that people use. Maybe it's that banker in Nigeria who wants to give me a check only he's now changed his tactic. Anyone else seeing this trend?


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## liz (di-va) (Dec 4, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> Does anybody ever get messages like these where the syntax is completely askew and the gender gets mixed up from time to time?


Yeah.
They always seem cut n pasted to me. Carpetbombing.


----------



## one2one (Dec 4, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> _"...I am really looking for a woman whose completely honest and sincere about his words and feelings whose ready for a long term relationship,whose ready to build up a family with someone real..I want a woman who i know i can have faith and completely trust with all my heart cause to make a standard relationship it must really be based on trust,love,honesty,understanding and communication....Well,I believe in devoting my time to my loved ones and making them real happy cause they are my own families and i always do look forward to that day i will get to meet my dream woman and i know when he gets to meet me he will be so happy to get along with my kind of person too... "_​
> Does anybody ever get messages like these where the syntax is completely askew and the gender gets mixed up from time to time? I get them ALL the time. I'm beginning to wonder if it's a scam, like some kind of reply generator that people use. Maybe it's that banker in Nigeria who wants to give me a check only he's now changed his tactic. Anyone else seeing this trend?



Yes ... it is a scam.


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## Famouslastwords (Dec 4, 2010)

Well I was all talk. I don't think it's right to mutilate someone because they cheat. On the same note, why marry them if you're going to cheat?



CarlaSixx said:


> Message:
> 
> "Hey baby. If I bring you out to eat as many hamburgers as you want, will you return the favor and give me head?"
> 
> ...



SAY WHAT? Tell them it's caviar, steak, lobster champagne, or nothing. Then don't even eat the caviar! Bleck.



mcbeth said:


> A little gem I was just sent by a 21 year old on okcupid:
> 
> "Can I eat you out? I've always wanted to eat out a full figured woman."
> 
> Don't I even get dinner first? Why does only one of us get to eat? Seems unfair.



I'd tell you to ask him, but that's probably WAY too fair a deal.



LillyBBBW said:


> _"...I am really looking for a woman whose completely honest and sincere about his words and feelings whose ready for a long term relationship,whose ready to build up a family with someone real..I want a woman who i know i can have faith and completely trust with all my heart cause to make a standard relationship it must really be based on trust,love,honesty,understanding and communication....Well,I believe in devoting my time to my loved ones and making them real happy cause they are my own families and i always do look forward to that day i will get to meet my dream woman and i know when he gets to meet me he will be so happy to get along with my kind of person too... "_​
> Does anybody ever get messages like these where the syntax is completely askew and the gender gets mixed up from time to time? I get them ALL the time. I'm beginning to wonder if it's a scam, like some kind of reply generator that people use. Maybe it's that banker in Nigeria who wants to give me a check only he's now changed his tactic. Anyone else seeing this trend?





liz (di-va) said:


> Yeah.
> They always seem cut n pasted to me. Carpetbombing.





one2one said:


> Yes ... it is a scam.



What these ladies said.


----------



## cinnamitch (Dec 4, 2010)

Sorry this is so long, I got this little love note today

Babe, 

Let's fall in Love. I am single is because I have been looking for you and you have been waiting to meet me. Life is a miracle and a mystery itself. We are for greet purpose that will lead to a reality cos reality is better than dream. If you accept and agree, it will workout for you, really, I have spoken.Calling you will be easier and best. I am in South Africa, I will be traveling to West Africa, Nigeria for a Business trip, in order to attend interview for awarding of air-conditioning contract at Federal Capital Territory, Abuja, Nigeria soon. I am very busy preparing my business proposals, introduction letter, quotation and Proforma invoice. 

Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives. "No disguise can long conceal love where it exists, or long feign it where it is lacking.", and PASSIONS are liken best to floods and streams: The shallow murmur, but the deep are dumb; so, when affection yields discourse, it seems, the bottom is but shallow whence they come. They that are rich in words, in words discover that they are poor in that which makes a lover. 

Bitterness imprisons life; love releases it. Bitterness paralyzes life; love empowers it. Bitterness sours life; love sweetens it. Bitterness sickens life; love heals it. Bitterness blinds life; love anoints its eyes. "Real love is a permanently self-enlarging experience. Falling in love is not." Love vanquishes time. To lovers, a moment can be eternity; eternity can be the tick of a clock." Love cures people, the ones who receive love and the ones who give it, too. To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. "It is impossible to repent of love. The sin of love does not exist." Quarrels in France strengthen a love affair, in America they end it." Let those love now that never loved before; Let those who always loved, now love the more. Love is the true means by which the world is enjoyed: our love to others, and others' love to us. It is best to love wisely, no doubt; but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all. Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery. There is no instinct like that of the heart. It is the principle existence and it's only end. May no gift be too small to give, nor too simple to receive, which is wrapped in thoughtfulness and tied with love. I am OK with you age, you are my heart wants, my email is [email******************[/email], add me to your messenger. Give me your yahoo email; I want to add you to my messenger to chart with you always. Give me your phone number in response to this love, I want to be sending you mobile sms and calling you always. I love you babe. I happily view your profile, babe. Give me your phone number let me tell you many about me. I wait to receive from you. 

Cherish

Nearly everything written here is either lines from poetry or song lyrics. I guess he thought I wasn't very well read.


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## Famouslastwords (Dec 4, 2010)

cinnamitch said:


> Sorry this is so long, I got this little love note today
> 
> Babe,
> 
> ...



Add that winner to yahoo and see what transpires!


----------



## cinnamitch (Dec 4, 2010)

Famouslastwords said:


> Add that winner to yahoo and see what transpires!



I would rather pull my crotch hairs out one by one than to add that yahoo to my yahoo


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## CastingPearls (Dec 4, 2010)

Am I the only one whose skin crawls when a stranger sends a long blind email and calls me 'babe'?

HEY, but the upside is he's 'okay' with YOUR age. Nice that he's so openminded.


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## Lovelyone (Dec 5, 2010)

I got this lovely response today:

Please I look your profil and you are fat, diva. I want rub your rolls and feel you fat. Please to add me to yahoo. We can talk and I can make love you. Please you my dream. Please to talk to me. I promis to be good man. You have big butt. Nice. Please tell me how you got such big body, It is so huge. Give me your name love. Please,can you send me image of you in full stand up. It make me so happy. 
Please.


----------



## AmazingAmy (Dec 5, 2010)

Lovelyone said:


> I got this lovely response today:
> 
> Please I look your profil and you are fat, diva. I want rub your rolls and feel you fat. Please to add me to yahoo. We can talk and I can make love you. Please you my dream. Please to talk to me. I promis to be good man. You have big butt. Nice. Please tell me how you got such big body, It is so huge. Give me your name love. Please,can you send me image of you in full stand up. It make me so happy.
> Please.



He's charming the pants offa me...


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## FatAndProud (Dec 5, 2010)

Ok, I know this thread focuses on weird internet messages...but I kinda wanna know WHY we do the internet dating thing.

I find myself on POF because I have a crazy schedule because of school. I also tend to be quite shy if I'm attracted to someone (and it makes it really awkward when I don't know if he likes fat women to begin with lol). I think that internet dating COULD lead to getting to know someone a bit better before the first date, ya know? Assuming both parties open up more than "Oh, I love feet and I'd like to rub your fat rolls" lol.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Dec 5, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> Am I the only one whose skin crawls when a stranger sends a long blind email and calls me 'babe'?
> 
> HEY, but the upside is he's 'okay' with YOUR age. Nice that he's so openminded.



They skeeve me out too. "Babe," "dear," "love," "sexy," "lady." My profile name could be Ethel Frances Miller and I could have 43 photos in my profile and it will be like the profile is blank.


----------



## LovelyLiz (Dec 5, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> Ok, I know this thread focuses on weird internet messages...but I kinda wanna know WHY we do the internet dating thing.
> 
> I find myself on POF because I have a crazy schedule because of school. I also tend to be quite shy if I'm attracted to someone (and it makes it really awkward when I don't know if he likes fat women to begin with lol). I think that internet dating COULD lead to getting to know someone a bit better before the first date, ya know? Assuming both parties open up more than "Oh, I love feet and I'd like to rub your fat rolls" lol.



Start a thread about it! Good question.


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## FatAndProud (Dec 5, 2010)

"hows that big booty today"

.......I replied with "You are a strange, little man."


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Dec 5, 2010)

Men who don't post pictures on their actual profile (or post pictures who aren't them) but offer to e-mail them to you right away on their first contact... I'm thinking... married? What do you girls think?


----------



## mccormick (Dec 5, 2010)

"hey text me"

and I think to myself.. wow, that was easy or you're just desperate.


----------



## Mishty (Dec 5, 2010)

> As a teacher, perhaps you can change attitudes about size and beauty.
> When I was a kid, there was a neighbor, who had two sons 5 to 10 years older, than I. I was a little afraid of her, because she was so tall and plump. I wonder what my attitude would have been if the sons had been closer to my age and we have played together.
> My hair and eyes are brown. I am 5 ft 11.5 inches tall and weigh about 250lbs.
> I wonder if the Duggar family was plump, would they be on the TLC channel. It certainly would be more interesting to me.



Dunno what I'm supposed to do with this....


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## CastingPearls (Dec 5, 2010)

Mishty said:


> Dunno what I'm supposed to do with this....


Put it in the 'serial killer' file in case the FBI contacts you in a few months.


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## mszwebs (Dec 6, 2010)

Technically the kicker is the second message, but here's thewhole exchange.

His message: Hi. how are you?

My response: Fine thanks. How are you?

His message: Good. Is it possible for you to relocate?



Seriously? You've said 5 words to me and we're moving in together?

SWEET!!!


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## 1love_emily (Dec 6, 2010)

So, back when I was younger, I was on that "Are You Interested" app via Facebook. Of course, no one was ever interested in me, till I got a cute little message from a boy. He told me that I was pretty  I was in awe, until I noticed my profile picture - it was of me and my absolutely stunning, blonde haired blue eyed perfect skinned friend. I told him he was probably looking at the wrong girl - I was the brunette, brown eyed, a little more... umm rubenesque. He then told me he was looking at the same girl with a "" winky face. 

We've been close since.

but not close enough.


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## Shosh (Dec 8, 2010)

I saw this on a guy's profile today.

My brain is an octopus and you would need to engage all eight arms and keep them entertained, or be prepared to be consigned to the boring bin.
No excuses! I am smart, and get over it way easy if you can't keep up. 

What a wanker.


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## Bigtigmom (Dec 8, 2010)

Shosh said:


> I saw this on a guy's profile today.
> 
> My brain is an octopus and you would need to engage all eight arms and keep them entertained, or be prepared to be consigned to the boring bin.
> No excuses! I am smart, and get over it way easy if you can't keep up.
> ...




Funny!! He's not smart enough to figure out that his statements convincing us of his genius level intelligence are doing nothing but deterring contact not inviting it. At least he's saving alot of girls alot of time. Another man too full of himself to actually have room for a partner. Kinda sounds more like he has ADD than a highly intelligent mind. Good job Mr Octopus, sounds like you'll be single for a long time. Sorry I just had to comment because there are so many people like this out there and they don't realize how clueless they are.

So thanks for the laugh, Shosh!!!


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## Famouslastwords (Dec 8, 2010)

Bigtigmom said:


> Funny!! He's not smart enough to figure out that his statements convincing us of his genius level intelligence are doing nothing but deterring contact not inviting it. At least he's saving alot of girls alot of time. Another man too full of himself to actually have room for a partner. Kinda sounds more like he has ADD than a highly intelligent mind. Good job Mr Octopus, sounds like you'll be single for a long time. Sorry I just had to comment because there are so many people like this out there and they don't realize how clueless they are.
> 
> So thanks for the laugh, Shosh!!!



I agree it does sound more like he has ADD than that he is intelligent.


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## LillyBBBW (Dec 8, 2010)

Shosh said:


> I saw this on a guy's profile today.
> 
> My brain is an octopus and you would need to engage all eight arms and keep them entertained, or be prepared to be consigned to the boring bin.
> No excuses! I am smart, and get over it way easy if you can't keep up.
> ...



His INBOX is currently the lonliest place on earth.


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## Shosh (Dec 8, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> His INBOX is currently the lonliest place on earth.



Haha. True!


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## kayrae (Dec 8, 2010)

Hmmm... I think he's rather clever.



Shosh said:


> I saw this on a guy's profile today.
> 
> My brain is an octopus and you would need to engage all eight arms and keep them entertained, or be prepared to be consigned to the boring bin.
> No excuses! I am smart, and get over it way easy if you can't keep up.
> ...


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## CarlaSixx (Dec 8, 2010)

Message received today:

"Hey. You're cute. I don't discriminate. Big girls need lovin too. I think you'll really like my bod. Hit me up cutie."



Sounds like a total winner to me.


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## thatgirl08 (Dec 10, 2010)

youre hot mama. lets get high sometime.

How about no?


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## FatAndProud (Dec 12, 2010)

Ok, I'm officially ready to be a lesbian. 

[22:08] NaturalZing: 
[22:08] NaturalZing: :-*
[22:09] *K8teee*: hello
[22:09] NaturalZing: Hi how are u
[22:09] NaturalZing: r u a bbw ?
[22:09] *K8teee*: i'm an ssbbw
[22:10] NaturalZing: cool... do you have a pic ?
[22:10] *K8teee*: no (I say no to internet guys because usually they're photo collectors )
[22:10] NaturalZing: whats ur ethnicity ?
[22:10] *K8teee*: white
[22:10] NaturalZing: same
[22:10] NaturalZing: age ?
[22:10] *K8teee*: 21
[22:11] NaturalZing: im 30
[22:11] NaturalZing: in Scranton, PA
[22:11] *K8teee*: cool, cool. are you fat?
[22:11] NaturalZing: No im athletic build
[22:11] NaturalZing: 6' 1"
[22:11] *K8teee*: ah
[22:12] NaturalZing: but i only date big girls
[22:12] *K8teee*: lol ok
[22:12] NaturalZing: did you have an add up on ssbbw singles ?
[22:12] *K8teee*: yes
[22:12] NaturalZing: yea i thought so thats how i got ur name here
[22:12] NaturalZing: where ru from ?
[22:12] *K8teee*: Detroit, far from you!
[22:13] NaturalZing: yea lol
[22:13] NaturalZing: No women on that site are in my area of PA
[22:13] NaturalZing: i want to date an ssbbw but i cant find one in my area
[22:13] NaturalZing: all skinny girls
[22:13]* K8teee*: go to mcdonalds or something lol
[22:13] NaturalZing: tried that lol didnt work
[22:14] NaturalZing: they r skinny there also
[22:14] *K8teee*: lol that's so creepy
[22:14] *K8teee*: walmart. don't tell me they're skinny there
[22:14] NaturalZing: ill do anything to find an ssbbw
[22:14] NaturalZing: in walmart they are bbw not ssbbw
[22:14]* K8teee*: lies
[22:14] NaturalZing: whats ur height and weight ?
[22:14] *K8teee*: bigger than most men can handle
[22:14] NaturalZing: i only date women over 290
[22:15] NaturalZing: i consider skinny to be any girl under 220
[22:15] *K8teee*: i only date rich, educated guys. so i understand 
[22:15] NaturalZing: so thats why ur still single lol
[22:16] *K8teee*: lol
[22:16] NaturalZing: definitely wont find them at walmart
[22:16] NaturalZing: im Educated but not rich, my income is 50,000 a year
[22:16] NaturalZing: good enough 4 me xoxo
[22:16] *K8teee*: i couldn't be with a man that makes less than me lol
[22:17] NaturalZing: thats great, which shows how Artificial you are, glad we could get that out in the open now rather than Later
[22:17] NaturalZing: hate to inform you of this, but NO rich guys like the fatties, so seems like you'll be single forever
[22:18] NaturalZing: American men HATE fat chicks, esp the rich guys
[22:18] NaturalZing: i only date fat girls for sex anyway lol they're easy and give super good head
[22:18] *K8teee*: lol i love that you've insulted me  you're not doing us "fatties" a favor by dating us
[22:18] NaturalZing: i would never marry one or nothing like that,
[22:19] NaturalZing: the saying ' more pushin for the cushion '
[22:19] NaturalZing: its all bout Sex sweetie, thats all
[22:19] NaturalZing: just Sex
[22:20] NaturalZing: Fat chicks are easy to get in bed, thats the only reason we date em' xo
[22:20] *K8teee*: lmao you are so lame
[22:20] NaturalZing: why would any rich guy date a fat girl ? that makes no sense whatsoever lol
[22:20] NaturalZing: Rich guys can get the thin blonds so thats all they go for
[22:21] NaturalZing: im just an avg. guy which is why i go for the fatties, its easy game
[22:21] NaturalZing: much less competition
[22:21] *K8teee*: first off, i was being sarcastic. secondly, a douche bag of your caliber could cleanse a whale's vagina.
[22:22] NaturalZing: Fat chicks treat me like a king, because of very few men are attracted to them, so i get all the attention
[22:22] *K8teee*: you're wrong 
[22:22] NaturalZing: honey, i keep a list as all guys do, and over the last 4 years ive had sex with 50 bbws and ssbbws, so im doin something right
[22:23] NaturalZing: my goal is to get over 100
[22:23] *K8teee*: lol keep a list? ew that's so high school
[22:23] NaturalZing: hate to inform you, but all guys do even the rich ones
[22:23] NaturalZing: its a guy thing hunny
[22:23] *K8teee*: i bet you still revel in the days you were the star on the football team? too bad the best years in your life was when you still had hair
[22:23] NaturalZing: we guys crave sex , thats all we care about
[22:24] NaturalZing: i dont watch sports nor do i care about it, the only sport i participate in is Sex
[22:24] *K8teee*: which you probably perform poorly at
[22:24] NaturalZing: my Goal is to have sex with as many bbws and ssbbws as i can
[22:24] *K8teee*: i hope you get gonorrhea
[22:24] *K8teee*: and syphillus
[22:24] *K8teee*: and aids
[22:24] *K8teee*: gonosyphilherpelaids
[22:24] NaturalZing: i use protection
[22:25] *K8teee*: i'm sure you don't get magnums
[22:25] NaturalZing: and most of the bbws i meet havent had many partners anyway due to the lack of men desiring them
[22:25] *K8teee*: lol
[22:25] NaturalZing: so its all good
[22:26] NaturalZing: since i cant get the skinny hot chicks, i just go for the bbws and ssbbws , alot easier
[22:26] *K8teee*: k, i'm done talking with you. take care on your ssbbw sexcapades.
[22:26] NaturalZing: Match.com is excellent to meet them there since most guys pass them right over due to there being lots of skinny girls there
[22:26] NaturalZing: im also addicted to ssbbw porn
[22:27] NaturalZing: i luv fat girl porn so cool
[22:27] NaturalZing: all that flesh bouncing and jiggling
[22:27] NaturalZing: mmmm sooo sexy
[22:27] NaturalZing: ok hunny take care goodnite, i wish you well
[22:27] NaturalZing: we are not right for each other i suppose different goals
[22:28] NaturalZing: no hard feelings sweetie
[22:28] NaturalZing: take care xo
-------------------------------------
Moral of the story: NaturalZing is an enormous douche bag capable of cleansing a whale's vagina.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Dec 12, 2010)

Never have I wanted to rip someone to shreds more in my life.


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## activistfatgirl (Dec 12, 2010)

that makes me want to date a rich man just to prove something...

my last message on OKC was "want to touch my penis?"

SIGH


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## Carrie (Dec 12, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> [22:26] NaturalZing: Match.com is excellent to meet them there since most guys pass them right over due to there being lots of skinny girls there
> [22:26] NaturalZing: im also addicted to ssbbw porn
> [22:27] NaturalZing: i luv fat girl porn so cool
> [22:27] NaturalZing: all that flesh bouncing and jiggling
> ...


Holy cow, that was hilarious. I mean, I know, I know, it's horrifying and outrageous, but the end especially, where he's completely oblivious to your stinging barbs and just keeps going on his Captain Ahab spiel? That's classic. 

Ohhhh, people. 


p.s. I lol'd at "gonosyphilherpelaids".


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## Blackjack (Dec 13, 2010)

Carrie said:


> Holy cow, that was hilarious. I mean, I know, I know, it's horrifying and outrageous, but the end especially, where he's completely oblivious to your stinging barbs and just keeps going on his Captain Ahab spiel? That's classic.
> 
> Ohhhh, people.
> 
> ...



My favorite line by far was "no hard feelings sweetie".

You know, you're not good enough and will never find a man who actually likes you... but no hard feelings. Don't feel insulted or anything.


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## LovelyLiz (Dec 13, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Never have I wanted to rip someone to shreds more in my life.



I agree. What a jerk.

Sadly though, I am at a pretty low point now and kind of believe that everything he said was true. Sigh. I'm joining a convent.


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## Famouslastwords (Dec 13, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> Ok, I'm officially ready to be a lesbian.
> [22:18] NaturalZing: i would never marry one or nothing like that,
> [22:19] NaturalZing: the saying ' more pushin for the cushion '
> [22:19] NaturalZing: its all bout Sex sweetie, thats all
> ...



Guys like these make my vaginal shrivel and dry up.


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## Your Plump Princess (Dec 13, 2010)

Guys like that kill my braincells faster than all the alcohol the world makes in a century.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Dec 13, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> I got a message today on POF that made me think of some of the totally ridiculous/tasteless/hilarious initial contacts my friends and I sometimes get on internet dating sites. It makes no sense to me that someone could say some of these things, and actually expect a woman to reply! Insane.
> 
> So I thought it might be funny for us to copy and paste some of these first messages that some of us (women and men!) may get from time to time, just to laugh, and to learn some valuable lessons about internet dating.
> 
> ...




i actually have wrote unique messages and said all the right things but sometimes my messages still get deleted or unread.maybe it's not me maybe they just don't like what they see i guess.POF really pisses me off sometimes.lol but i have heard of what some guys have said by reading other women's profile.i always read the woman's complete profile i am interested in."Unread Deleted" kinda hurts though sometimes...lol


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## HeavyDuty24 (Dec 13, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Men who don't post pictures on their actual profile (or post pictures who aren't them) but offer to e-mail them to you right away on their first contact... I'm thinking... married? What do you girls think?



haha i am guilty of that sometimes but not on intention.


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## LillyBBBW (Dec 13, 2010)

Carrie said:


> Holy cow, that was hilarious. I mean, I know, I know, it's horrifying and outrageous, but the end especially, where he's completely oblivious to your stinging barbs and just keeps going on his Captain Ahab spiel? That's classic.
> 
> Ohhhh, people.
> 
> ...



LOL! I know, that was beautiful. She had COMPLETELY stopped talking to him and he was still nattering on. lol What a loser, I almost feel sorry for him. You can barely find 50 ssbbws in a whole town, and the chances they will all have sex with him are slim to nil. That's because I'M having sex with them all.


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## LovelyLiz (Dec 13, 2010)

HeavyDuty24 said:


> i actually have wrote unique messages and said all the right things but sometimes my messages still get deleted or unread.maybe it's not me maybe they just don't like what they see i guess.POF really pisses me off sometimes.lol but i have heard of what some guys have said by reading other women's profile.i always read the woman's complete profile i am interested in."Unread Deleted" kinda hurts though sometimes...lol



Yeah, "unread deleted" is totally the worst. I always read a message, even if I know I won't be interested in the guy. One time I sent a guy a message just to say his headline had a pedophillic double meaning, because I don't think he realized it. That went "unread deleted" (and hopefully not because I am an adult).

Some guys say in their profile that they'd like a response no matter what, but I figure not responding invites less potential drama.


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## LillyBBBW (Dec 13, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Yeah, "unread deleted" is totally the worst. I always read a message, even if I know I won't be interested in the guy. One time I sent a guy a message just to say his headline had a pedophillic double meaning, because I don't think he realized it. That went "unread deleted" (and hopefully not because I am an adult).
> 
> Some guys say in their profile that they'd like a response no matter what, but I figure not responding invites less potential drama.



There's a guy who has written to me several times from several locations. I don't hear from him for a while and then all of a sudden he turns up even though for the most part I have not responded. Then finally he sends me a letter asking me to give some kind of response one way of the other just so he'll know. I figured it was a fair and reasonable request so I sent him a nice letter saying I appreciated the interest but our personalities just weren't a match, which was true! Aside from the fact that there was no physical attraction on my part we weren't really on the same wave length on many levels. Shortly after that exchange he created another account, wrote a brand new letter with the same info and included another picture. It was a photo of someone else entirely, different race, different body type, European, etc. I was like, wtf!! Really? No, really? Is it that important to go to all this trouble? I couldn't believe it. I called him on it and he never replied. That was so crazy! He was trying to make it a racial issue and get all up in my face. Like THIS was going to make me go out with him, or it would somehow shame me as a terrible person for not finding him physically attractive. Meanwhile there are over 600 other women on that site, why would he focus all this energy here and not move on to talk to someone else? Oh yeah that's right, for him it's ok to be selective.  What a weirdo.


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## Shosh (Dec 13, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> There's a guy who has written to me several times from several locations. I don't hear from him for a while and then all of a sudden he turns up even though for the most part I have not responded. Then finally he sends me a letter asking me to give some kind of response one way of the other just so he'll know. I figured it was a fair and reasonable request so I sent him a nice letter saying I appreciated the interest but our personalities just weren't a match, which was true! Aside from the fact that there was no physical attraction on my part we weren't really on the same wave length on many levels. Shortly after that exchange he created another account, wrote a brand new letter with the same info and included another picture. It was a photo of someone else entirely, different race, different body type, European, etc. I was like, wtf!! Really? No, really? Is it that important to go to all this trouble? I couldn't believe it. I called him on it and he never replied. That was so crazy! He was trying to make it a racial issue and get all up in my face. Like THIS was going to make me go out with him, or it would somehow shame me as a terrible person for not finding him physically attractive. Meanwhile there are over 600 other women on that site, why would he focus all this energy here and not move on to talk to someone else? Oh yeah that's right, for him it's ok to be selective.  What a weirdo.



What the hell is wrong with some of these men?

I have completely taken all my profiles of dating sites. I am just over it.

It is funny, the day after I did that, the guy that I met here in my town that I like has started to let me know he likes me too.

Online dating. Ugh.


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## Jes (Dec 13, 2010)

Carrie said:


> Holy cow, that was hilarious. I mean, I know, I know, it's horrifying and outrageous, but the end especially, where he's completely oblivious to your stinging barbs and just keeps going on his Captain Ahab spiel? That's classic.
> 
> Ohhhh, people.
> 
> ...



and MY favorite is how, at the end, he seems to be coming back around and being more friendly and hoping she'll talk to him some more because he thinks he has a 'live one' on the line!

mood disorder much?

and how crazy is it that he's proud he's bedded 50 fat women when he's the one who says it's super easy to get a fat woman? What a sad little man he must be.


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## Fat Brian (Dec 13, 2010)

I especially enjoyed the part where he started out being attracted to SSBBWs, then he on uses them for sex since they're an "easy mark", then he's all addicted to SSBBW porn :doh:.


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## FatAndProud (Dec 13, 2010)

Boys will be boys.


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## FatAndProud (Dec 13, 2010)

Double postage, my bad.


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## Blackjack (Dec 13, 2010)

FatAndProud said:


> Boys will be boys.



Really, douches will be douches, regardless of gender.


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## CarlaSixx (Dec 14, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> Really, douches will be douches, regardless of gender.



Hear hear!!! **raises glass**

No seriously... The men have it bad, too. Not just us women  lol.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Dec 14, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Yeah, "unread deleted" is totally the worst. I always read a message, even if I know I won't be interested in the guy. One time I sent a guy a message just to say his headline had a pedophillic double meaning, because I don't think he realized it. That went "unread deleted" (and hopefully not because I am an adult).
> 
> Some guys say in their profile that they'd like a response no matter what, but I figure not responding invites less potential drama.




yes i totally agree with you.unread deleted sucks.i know alot of women probably think if they read the guys message it may send the "wrong signals" but they should atleast have the decency to read the message,they can read the message and if there not interested just don't respond,reading dosen't mean responding.

unread deleted is not even giving someone a chance,and that is just wrong.i always think how would a person that unread deletes a message feel if someone unread deleted a message they sent someone.i mean i can take a hint,if a girl dosen't like me all she needs to say is "your not my type" or something and i can easily go on my way.im just the type of person that likes straight up honesty you know.

unread deleted just sucks and sometimes it does kinda hurt,but i do admit it really dosen't bother me anymore,you get used to it you know.there loss anyway.lol but i just always wonder why a woman unreads deletes my message or why they read it and never respond,or why do they respond to the first message and never respond to the second.it's a bitter-sweet unsure left in the dark type feeling.

i just always wonder what went wrong cause alot of times the women i meet on there don't give closure to why there not responding or why they don't like you.i always wonder what is the reason,i wish they would just be honest with me.i mean im a big boy i can take it,i can repsect there honesty atleast...


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## HeavyDuty24 (Dec 14, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> There's a guy who has written to me several times from several locations. I don't hear from him for a while and then all of a sudden he turns up even though for the most part I have not responded. Then finally he sends me a letter asking me to give some kind of response one way of the other just so he'll know. I figured it was a fair and reasonable request so I sent him a nice letter saying I appreciated the interest but our personalities just weren't a match, which was true! Aside from the fact that there was no physical attraction on my part we weren't really on the same wave length on many levels. Shortly after that exchange he created another account, wrote a brand new letter with the same info and included another picture. It was a photo of someone else entirely, different race, different body type, European, etc. I was like, wtf!! Really? No, really? Is it that important to go to all this trouble? I couldn't believe it. I called him on it and he never replied. That was so crazy! He was trying to make it a racial issue and get all up in my face. Like THIS was going to make me go out with him, or it would somehow shame me as a terrible person for not finding him physically attractive. Meanwhile there are over 600 other women on that site, why would he focus all this energy here and not move on to talk to someone else? Oh yeah that's right, for him it's ok to be selective.  What a weirdo.




man that sucks.i do admit the women that i REALLY like i do try to pursue them alittle bit more then i would a normal woman.but even if i pursue her alot but once i find out she's REALLY not into me,i let it go.some women start to like you once they get to know you,some just don't like you in that way at all.sometimes it is hard to tell other times it is pretty obvious,i can usually tell though ecspecially from my experience.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Dec 14, 2010)

Shosh said:


> Online dating. Ugh.





man i TOTALLY agree.Online Dating is really making me sick! lol im seriously VERY close to giving up on it.but the hopless romantic in me keeps me using Online Dating.maybe it is easier to meet someone in real life afterall...but i do admit i don't go on the Online Dating sites anymore as much as i used to.


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## LillyBBBW (Dec 14, 2010)

HeavyDuty24 said:


> man that sucks.i do admit the women that i REALLY like i do try to pursue them alittle bit more then i would a normal woman.but even if i pursue her alot but once i find out she's REALLY not into me,i let it go.some women start to like you once they get to know you,some just don't like you in that way at all.sometimes it is hard to tell other times it is pretty obvious,i can usually tell though ecspecially from my experience.



I don't think there's anything wrong with that.  I don't find that annoying, it's just when people take things too far that is an issue. I used to sweetly respond to every single person who wrote to me but that turned out to be problematic. Sometimes once you respond, the person won't take no for an answer and keeps writing and writing, sending me inappropriate material and causing drama if he knows I actually exist and won't reply. That guy was just one example but you would be surprised how many people like that are out there. I know it's kind of mean but this is why it is safer for people not to respond to people who aren't their type. There are too many crazies out there. 

Some people put things in their messages that are a strong deterrant like how they only like body type 'X', they want to get up and go go go every single weekend, he's got cats (I'm horribly allergic), hates liberals/conservatives or he's posted some deal breaker that makes it clear he won't like me anyway. I won't reply to anyone who says anything negative about people. People who don't include any information about themselves will get ignored too. It's a safety issue. It may seem like quite a laundy list of deal breakers but it is learned behavior.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Dec 14, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> I don't think there's anything wrong with that.  I don't find that annoying, it's just when people take things too far that is an issue. I used to sweetly respond to every single person who wrote to me but that turned out to be problematic. Sometimes once you respond, the person won't take no for an answer and keeps writing and writing, sending me inappropriate material and causing drama if he knows I actually exist and won't reply. That guy was just one example but you would be surprised how many people like that are out there. I know it's kind of mean but this is why it is safer for people not to respond to people who aren't their type. There are too many crazies out there.
> 
> Some people put things in their messages that are a strong deterrant like how they only like body type 'X', they want to get up and go go go every single weekend, he's got cats (I'm horribly allergic), hates liberals/conservatives or he's posted some deal breaker that makes it clear he won't like me anyway. I won't reply to anyone who says anything negative about people. People who don't include any information about themselves will get ignored too. It's a safety issue. It may seem like quite a laundy list of deal breakers but it is learned behavior.





heh heh i do agree with you and see what you mean.i puruse the girl i like alot until i find out she dosen't like me that way.i NEVER EVER go too far with it like some guys do,i do have some respect for people.i do sometimes wonder by pursuing her am i annoying her,sometimes you can never truely tell,most women are hard to read.lol there are alot of crazys though i agree.but i can take a hint though,i can usually tell when the woman is not into me,it's usually kinda obvious for the most part,you can just kinda tell mostly.

i usually just send a message entitled "how are you" or i say something that they liked in the profiles and go from there.i never know what to say for sure,something you may feel is the right thing to say the woman may disagree.

and something i think that maybe something i didn't say she maybe would want me to say it,very confusing at times.sometimes im really not sure what to say to not sound like a creeper or anything.sometimes no matter what you do it is never good enough for some people,sometimes you can never get it right no matter how hard you try...lol 

i do pursue the ones i like alot,but once they stop responding,stop reading my messages,or they read them or just never write back i often times wonder what happened,ecspecially if things were going well.but the only thing i can do is count it as a lost,a mysterious lost,but a lost nonetheless and just move on cause your kinda forced to.sometimes i just wonder...

i do see what you mean by responding and the guy gets the wrong idea,i always thought if the woman responds she is interested and if she dosen't respond she is not,i just always felt if the woman responds there must be SOMETHING about me she likes.it is annoying that some women respond but never had any intention to give you a chance or get with you,that is a waste of time sadly to say. there are those guys that are sleezy and stuff,but then there are those women who are just mean and wrong too.lol POF and Online Dating is truely a Doube-Edged Sword,and a Bitter-Sweetness...


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## LillyBBBW (Dec 14, 2010)

HeavyDuty24 said:


> heh heh i do agree with you and see what you mean.i puruse the girl i like alot until i find out she dosen't like me that way.i NEVER EVER go too far with it like some guys do,i do have some respect for people.i do sometimes wonder by pursuing her am i annoying her,sometimes you can never truely tell,most women are hard to read.lol there are alot of crazys though i agree.but i can take a hint though,i can usually tell when the woman is not into me,it's usually kinda obvious for the most part,you can just kinda tell mostly.
> 
> i usually just send a message entitled "how are you" or i say something that they liked in the profiles and go from there.i never know what to say for sure,something you may feel is the right thing to say the woman may disagree.
> 
> ...



I have the same issues there. In the big picture honesty is the best policy. Not everyone is going to like what you're into but you probably wouldn't get on with them anyway so it's better to get that out of the way and not waste time. Rule of thumb is if you view someone's profile and you like what you see, your reply should contain the same kind of information they have posted. Read through it carefully and reply with your age, your hobbies, music you like, what you're looking for, etc. if that's what she has in hers. If you don't hear anything it may be any number or reasons. Maybe she doesn't like video games, she's on trial for treason or you live too far away. Whatever the reason, it's more than likely no big loss to you. :happy:


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Dec 14, 2010)

Re: unread deleted.

This is what you get when you're a woman (at least, it's what I get). Maybe it will help put it in perspective.

View attachment pof.jpg


I spraypainted their names out. Notice a theme? 

I will probably....eventually...read these. May be now, may be months from now. Why? Because the subject lines demonstrate that not one of them are original or creative enough to come up with something other than "hi." (With that one exception - I'll probably read his.)

If your messages get deleted without being read, your subjects blend in with the dozens of other men sending messages, or your profile picture didn't look appealing. Simple as that.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Dec 14, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Re: unread deleted.
> 
> This is what you get when you're a woman (at least, it's what I get). Maybe it will help put it in perspective.
> 
> ...



Oh, also, nothing gets you unread deleted faster than a subject like "I want to fuck your brains out."


----------



## Fat Brian (Dec 14, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Oh, also, nothing gets you unread deleted faster than a subject like "I want to fuck your brains out."



But see, at least that guy would have been being honest. It may not be original, but that guy is on a mission .


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Dec 14, 2010)

He may be honest, but he's also alone. lol


----------



## The Orange Mage (Dec 14, 2010)

I had someone on OKCupid ask me about me weeks ago about viewing their profile...if I was just shy or not interested.

Had to tell her I wasn't interested. There were some big red flags in the paragraph in which she mentions being a confident fat girl, that any guy interested better like that, then saying "at least I'm not one of those flat-chested fatties with a huge butt," and then a more recent edit saying she's losing weight and can't wait to be an ex-fatty.

And I'm just kinda like, "Not interested." o_o


----------



## Fat Brian (Dec 14, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> He may be honest, but he's also alone. lol



It doesn't amaze me in the least that these guys are single, it really makes me feel bad what you ladies have to deal with. When Crystal had her myspace page up she got a few messages a day from these same types, even with her page clearly showing she is married. One guy even asked if I minded if she saw other guys, I wrote him back and told him we could have a 3 way but he was going to get his AC popped. He didn't write back.


----------



## CarlaSixx (Dec 14, 2010)

Message tonight:

Hey. I'm new here and I heard from a friend that you like to tie people up. My girlfriend won't do that. She doesn't even give head! Can you help me out? You're the only one I know!"

I'm so charmed. Lol.


----------



## Mishty (Dec 15, 2010)

the first message was awesome, it had me kinda pumped about IHOP, the first message wasn't the problem, but the second:

_so we gonna need condoms after ihop? i need to know now. i think we both want this._


I said, no not the first date, and told him we were looking for different things. 

Third message: 

_will you sit on my face michelle? _


----------



## FatAndProud (Dec 15, 2010)

Mishty said:


> the first message was awesome, it had me kinda pumped about IHOP, the first message wasn't the problem, but the second:
> 
> _so we gonna need condoms after ihop? i need to know now. i think we both want this._
> 
> ...



Send him this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxVKtNkQAtw


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Dec 15, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> I have the same issues there. In the big picture honesty is the best policy. Not everyone is going to like what you're into but you probably wouldn't get on with them anyway so it's better to get that out of the way and not waste time. Rule of thumb is if you view someone's profile and you like what you see, your reply should contain the same kind of information they have posted. Read through it carefully and reply with your age, your hobbies, music you like, what you're looking for, etc. if that's what she has in hers. If you don't hear anything it may be any number or reasons. Maybe she doesn't like video games, she's on trial for treason or you live too far away. Whatever the reason, it's more than likely no big loss to you. :happy:




yes i do agee with you.there have been times i have mentioned things that interest me,mentioned things that are in her profile,etc.but still no go.i fo understand that sometimes you just don't have anything in common with people.i asked this one girl why she didn't want to get to know me and she said nothing in her profile sparked her interest.fair enough,i told her i appreciate your honesty,i'd rather a girl say something like that then to just like leave me in the dark you know.lol but yeah i am who i am,i don't want to change for anyway.lol but i always put in my profile that there is MUCH more to me then my profile.my profile is just a short description to things about me,but my profile is not me as a whole you know,i always tell the girl she has to get to know me first to TRUELY understand and TRUELY get to know who i really am,but none of them usually stick around long enough to see what a great and unique person i am.but it is seriously there loss.


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Dec 15, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> I have the same issues there. In the big picture honesty is the best policy. Not everyone is going to like what you're into but you probably wouldn't get on with them anyway so it's better to get that out of the way and not waste time. Rule of thumb is if you view someone's profile and you like what you see, your reply should contain the same kind of information they have posted. Read through it carefully and reply with your age, your hobbies, music you like, what you're looking for, etc. if that's what she has in hers. If you don't hear anything it may be any number or reasons. Maybe she doesn't like video games, she's on trial for treason or you live too far away. Whatever the reason, it's more than likely no big loss to you. :happy:




yes i do agee with you.there have been times i have mentioned things that interest me,mentioned things that are in her profile,etc.but still no go.i do understand that sometimes you just don't have anything in common with people.i asked this one girl why she didn't want to get to know me and she said nothing in her profile sparked her interest.

fair enough,i told her i appreciate your honesty,i'd rather a girl say something like that then to just like leave me in the dark you know.lol but yeah i am who i am,i don't want to change for anyway.lol but i always put in my profile that there is MUCH more to me then my profile.

my profile is just a short description to things about me,but my profile is not me as a whole you know,i always tell the girl she has to get to know me first to TRUELY understand and TRUELY get to know who i really am,but none of them usually stick around long enough to see what a great and unique person i am.

but it is seriously there loss.but i am always honest,and i do love it when others are honest too,much respect there.to be honest if i am REALLY into the woman i read her profile like 4 or 5 times actually.sometimes i feel that if i say TOO much im coming on too strong you know,i always feel i might scare the woman off or freak her out or something.lol 

but those number of reasons why i don't hear from a woman is what i always wonder about,i always wonder what are the reasons,i would feel better if i knew the reasons but if not it can't be helped i guess.lol that's the thing about Online Dating as a whole,mysteriousness,wondering,confusion,awkwardness,and the like.but how did you know i love video games? o.o LOL


----------



## knottyknicky (Dec 16, 2010)

I'm married so not dating, but recently re-joined OKCupid to see if I could make some friends. Some guy just told me I had nice "Sweater Cows."


Gee, thanks dude.


----------



## Fat Brian (Dec 16, 2010)

I think he mixed up his metaphors, he could at least try to be a grammatically correct creep.


----------



## Mishty (Dec 16, 2010)

I almost think the guy isn't .10% bad.
I could probably auction him off on the Christian BBW Single thread, lol J/K


Hello Pretty, i must say am a lucky Guy, and today is the day the LORD has Made, for me to have came across your profile on _______... i am very interesting, easy going, outspoken, caring and most of all,GOD fearing....you will have to write back to know more about me.... i am interested in you for friendship, and maybe more(a committed relationship) please feel free to email me back..... here is my photo

But, something wasn't right, maybe it's the photos.


----------



## CarlaSixx (Dec 16, 2010)

"You are from America. I will come to you. Love you. You are so hapy, pretty, innocent. I can help you. Will you be with me?"

Safe to say... this guy doesn't speak English properly.


----------



## cinnamitch (Dec 17, 2010)

Hello and how are you doing, i hope you have a nice day out there if you don't mind can we have a chat to know more about ourselves because am here in search of a soul mate and i want to know if you are single??
Hello and how are you doing, i hope you have a nice day out there if you don't mind can we have a chat to know more about ourselves because am here in search of a soul mate and i want to know if you are single??
Hello and how are you doing, i hope you have a nice day out there if you don't mind can we have a chat to know more about ourselves because am here in search of a soul mate and i want to know if you are single??

Cut and paste gone bad or trying hard to sell himself?


and another

Hi cutie, 

I must confess God must have taken a rest after he created you, never have i seen someone so perfectly created,You are like a song written by the hands of God,Bacause in those eyes of yours everything pauses, I need not look to far to find an angel cos i have one right here in front of me. Just one night in your dreams would be like spending eternity, Staring at the face of an angel, I will sweep you of your feet and make God regret he forgot an angel behind,cos heaven wont be complete without you.....i choose to be a prisoner in your captivity of love,can we please chat if you dont mind... my private email address is .............., i did be looking forward to meeting you. 


I sent him a note complimenting him on his ability to see my eyes, since I did not have a picture up on that site.
Regards


----------



## LillyBBBW (Dec 17, 2010)

This gem was in my spam cache:

Hi beautiful ,
how are you ,Really you are the best woman entire the world.
and I am 38 years old single male , also I have never been married and I have no kid's.
Really I love your that sweet body and and your pretty face,
So can you chat on yahoo?
My yahoo ID is - XXXXXXX.

you have nice lovely day.

XXX,


----------



## CarlaSixx (Dec 17, 2010)

I got a winner tonight. Dudes seem unable to read profiles. 

Quoted:
Hey there sexy you feeling horny tonight I am
let's hook up and make history together

:doh:


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Dec 17, 2010)

cinnamitch said:


> Hello and how are you doing, i hope you have a nice day out there if you don't mind can we have a chat to know more about ourselves because am here in search of a soul mate and i want to know if you are single??
> Hello and how are you doing, i hope you have a nice day out there if you don't mind can we have a chat to know more about ourselves because am here in search of a soul mate and i want to know if you are single??
> Hello and how are you doing, i hope you have a nice day out there if you don't mind can we have a chat to know more about ourselves because am here in search of a soul mate and i want to know if you are single??
> 
> ...



there was a girl that sent me a message like the last one but it didn't go well in the end.:doh:


----------



## jdsumm (Jan 2, 2011)

just now got this one on POF

_Hi! I really liked your profile. My gf says you are very pretty._

hmmmm wonder how serious he is about finding a committed monogamous relationship.:doh: LOL, oh well, at least he is up front about his status.


----------



## CastingPearls (Jan 2, 2011)

From Facebook:

tu es très belle..
je n ai jamais rencontrer ou vue
une femme très ronde et sensuelle
comme toi
je suis une lesbienne et tu dois le savoir
kisses...ELAINE!! 

All the best love letters come from chicks. Shit.


----------



## Tanuki (Jan 2, 2011)

"You really beautyful!!! As sang Bryan Adams "Everything i do, i do it for YOU""


That was an odd one...


----------



## Lovelyone (Jan 2, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> From Facebook:
> 
> tu es très belle..
> je n ai jamais rencontrer ou vue
> ...



I think she messaged me too! I had to message her back and tell her that I was not a lesbian. She replied with a comment that said something like "its okay cos I like to look at your pics" 


I had one "french man" on my FB who kept sending me messages in french. When translated they were wonrderful, but I soon found that he was copy and pasting those same messages to EVERY woman on his friendlist (only with the names changed). When I called him on it and deleted him from my FB, he made a new profile, with new pics, new name and resent the EXACT same letters to me.Some men are just IDIOTS.


----------



## joswitch (Jan 2, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> From Facebook:
> 
> tu es très belle..
> je n ai jamais rencontrer ou vue
> ...



She even ryhmed belle and sensuelle!


----------



## joswitch (Jan 2, 2011)

I get a lot of messages that start a little something like:

"_hey! okc says you're my quiver match!
so i was just entertained by your profile and while i don't think cupid's arrow would actually hit either of us when we're together (you're just a weeeee bit out there ......._"

and

"_strange fascinating dude
I am perplexed and yet fascinated by your profile. You seem a bit crazy and bizarre but...._"

Yes, clearly I am a huge weirdo... Thanks so mucho...


----------



## joswitch (Jan 2, 2011)

Lovelyone said:


> I think she messaged me too! I had to message her back and tell her that I was not a lesbian. She replied with a comment that said something like "its okay cos I like to look at your pics"



Teh interwebs - providing equal-opportunity creepiness!


----------



## thatgirl08 (Jan 2, 2011)

I'm curious to know what's on your profile that makes you seem like such a weirdo, ha.


----------



## CarlaSixx (Jan 2, 2011)

Message received on Facebook:

Respected Ma'am

I am a 19 year old teen. I always fantasize of women older than me sitting on my face and may be using me as a toilet slave. I am very much interested in BBW, mature women who may use me.I am sorry if I disturbed you. Did not mean to disgust you in any way. Will be eagerly waiting for your reply.

Thank you

With regards

S--

------

Funny that they ended with that name, yet the profile uses a totally different name  Safe to say I just answered "Not interested. Never will be." And left it at that.


----------



## mossystate (Jan 2, 2011)

I had a man message me on Facebook, asking me the size of my labia.


I responded - " majora or minora "

His response - " huh? "



I knew right then that we were not meant to be.


----------



## Famouslastwords (Jan 2, 2011)

CarlaSixx said:


> Message received on Facebook:
> 
> Respected Ma'am
> 
> ...



I would have said "No- Just...No."


----------



## Fat Brian (Jan 2, 2011)

mossystate said:


> I had a man message me on Facebook, asking me the size of my labia.
> 
> 
> I responded - " majora or minora "
> ...



He's obviously a labia-measurement noob, maybe its just a phase.


----------



## joswitch (Jan 3, 2011)

thatgirl08 said:


> I'm curious to know what's on your profile that makes you seem like such a weirdo, ha.



Well, there's the mention of feederism... And there's the pics from my doing a drag performance... Those get picked up on a lot... 

I'm realpj on okcupid feel free to drive by and rubberneck...


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jan 3, 2011)

just received in inbox, lol

"hello hun, interested in a slave ? "

I don't currently NEED a slave, but if anyone is interested, I will pass on your info, lol


----------



## Lovelyone (Jan 3, 2011)

BeautifulPoeticDisaster said:


> just received in inbox, lol
> 
> "hello hun, interested in a slave ? "
> 
> I don't currently NEED a slave, but if anyone is interested, I will pass on your info, lol



Ha, you don't need to pass it on, cos he did a drive-by messaging. I think he sent that message to most of the big girls here. I got the same message. grrr.


----------



## LovelyLiz (Jan 3, 2011)

Hi....Queen How are you Doing My name is Ashraf 6 ft tall single male, got you on bbw dating and i was intrested in your profile,i believe a deepfriendship is like a rainbow when the perfect amount of hapiness and tears are mixed the results is a colourfull bridge in the heart,i enjoys sports, music, adventure, and fun.and i will like us to get to know each other more than expected couse i like what i see of you Queen...tell me little about you and what kind of man you want to meet sweetheart...maybe i have the qualities to make you feel happy 
-------------------

This is like the quintessential first message from a random foreign guy. It has all the requirements:

1) Some pet names (Queen, sweetheart), so he can cut and paste the same thing to everyone
2) Lists his own physical characteristics that are conventionally desirable (tall)
3) Overly schmaltzy romantic/love language
4) Vague list of interests (he likes "fun"! how unique)

Oh Ashraf, you have stolen my heart. And the hearts of probably 99% of the fat women on this board. :wubu:


----------



## AuntHen (Jan 3, 2011)

BeautifulPoeticDisaster said:


> just received in inbox, lol
> 
> "hello hun, interested in a slave ? "
> 
> I don't currently NEED a slave, but if anyone is interested, I will pass on your info, lol




haha... I got this in my inbox on here too, only he didn't say hello or call me hun (should I feel upset about that?)


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jan 3, 2011)

Lovelyone said:


> Ha, you don't need to pass it on, cos he did a drive-by messaging. I think he sent that message to most of the big girls here. I got the same message. grrr.



It wasn't just big girls lol mike got the same message lololol


----------



## Blackjack (Jan 3, 2011)

BeautifulPoeticDisaster said:


> It wasn't just big girls lol mike got the same message lololol



Hell, now I _really_ feel left out.


----------



## activistfatgirl (Jan 3, 2011)

Awe, I thought that guy really just wanted ME.

I can't win!


----------



## FatAndProud (Jan 3, 2011)

I didn't get one 

I think I may be weirder than joswitch. You've met your rival, sir.


----------



## Gingembre (Jan 3, 2011)

FatAndProud said:


> I didn't get one



You can have mine if you like?!!


----------



## SuperMishe (Jan 3, 2011)

_Quote:
Originally Posted by BeautifulPoeticDisaster 
just received in inbox, lol
"hello hun, interested in a slave ? "
I don't currently NEED a slave, but if anyone is interested, I will pass on your info, lol 

haha... I got this in my inbox on here too, only he didn't say hello or call me hun (should I feel upset about that?) _

LOL - I got this question as well. I replied by saying "Sure, I'd love one. I need someone to do my dishes". He replied - "not that kind of slave, a sex slave". I responded "Oh, no thanks - I can get sex anywhere, but it's really hard to find a good dishwasher". He didn't reply. LMAO!


----------



## penguin (Jan 3, 2011)

SuperMishe said:


> LOL - I got this question as well. I replied by saying "Sure, I'd love one. I need someone to do my dishes". He replied - "not that kind of slave, a sex slave". I responded "Oh, no thanks - I can get sex anywhere, but it's really hard to find a good dishwasher". He didn't reply. LMAO!



How does he know that doesn't turn you on?? Man, I know plenty of women who'd find it hot to have a man do the chores for them.

Back when I used to frequent kink chat rooms on mIRC (oh, the good old days), you'd get guys sending messages like that all the time. "I'll do anything for you!" "Okay then, mow my lawn while wearing 6" heels and singing show tunes." "Uh, what?" "You said _anything_."

They didn't like that.


----------



## Fat Brian (Jan 4, 2011)

Hes obviously a poorly trained slave, probably had a weak Mtype.


----------



## joswitch (Jan 4, 2011)

FatAndProud said:


> I didn't get one
> 
> I think I may be weirder than joswitch. You've met your rival, sir.



Cool beans! Welcome to the League of Awesome Weirdos! *hugs*


----------



## FatAndProud (Jan 5, 2011)

Ok, I feel like a bitch.

Every time I get a message where a guy calls me "girlie", "baby", "shorty", "woman", or something else....it is like nails on a chalk board. Ugh. lol


----------



## disconnectedsmile (Jan 5, 2011)

FatAndProud said:


> Ok, I feel like a bitch.
> 
> Every time I get a message where a guy calls me "girlie", "baby", "shorty", "woman", or something else....it is like nails on a chalk board. Ugh. lol


do people still use "shorty?" seriously?
how was that ever meant to be a compliment of any kind?


----------



## CastingPearls (Jan 5, 2011)

disconnectedsmile said:


> do people still use "shorty?" seriously?
> how was that ever meant to be a compliment of any kind?


I loathe 'gal' and 'females'.


----------



## mossystate (Jan 5, 2011)

gal...girl ( would fit right in here )...fatty.......and when you don't know me -honey...baby...sweetheart...etc...etc............then there are the more colorful names I am given after I laugh at the men who are complete assholes...


----------



## Dromond (Jan 5, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> I loathe 'gal' and 'females'.



How about "chica grasa caliente?"


----------



## bigsexy920 (Jan 5, 2011)

I got a doozie today..." do you have yahoo cam sex" 

BLOCK


----------



## FatAndProud (Jan 12, 2011)

lol I love when I get messages from guys that have in their profile "no fatties"


----------



## AmazingAmy (Jan 13, 2011)

"_u pregnant?_"


----------



## Blackjack (Jan 13, 2011)

AmazingAmy said:


> "_u pregnant?_"



...


----------



## joswitch (Jan 13, 2011)

Blackjack said:


> ...



Truly there is not enough facepalm for such a knobsack.

BLOCK that mofo Amy! *hugs*


----------



## Lovelyone (Jan 13, 2011)

I received one in my inbox that said "I read your profile and my husband is having a birthday soon. He has always wanted to be face sat by a woman like you. I was wondering (and please don't be offended) if you would be willing to give him his birthday present? I am willing to pay you accordingly"

I responded with "Thanks very much for the offer, but I posted my ad on a DATING site and not a fetish site. I am not now, nor will I EVER be interested in face sitting you, your husband, his friends or anyone else. You might have better luck on Craigslist"


----------



## AmazingAmy (Jan 13, 2011)

_"Hi Amazing Amy

I came across your fantastic pictures and really hope you don't mind me contacting you. My name is ____ and I write features for the UK women's magazines. I am currently looking to write a feature about the culture of 'feeders' in return for a fee of £1,000 and wondered if you were up for taking part at all?

It would be a very sensitive but fun feature celebrating peoples' right to be who they want to be!

For more information about my company, please email me at ____ and see our website at ____

Warmest regards,

____."_



My first thoughts were that this was some sort of gimmick or scam, but I looked at the sell-your-story-esque website the lady provided and I think it must be legit - I recognise plenty of the stories they've written, sold and published in things like _Closer _and _More _magazine, and they've got every kind of contact detail available as well as clear profiles on their journalists. I've e-mailed her asking a few questions, but I don't think I'm brave enough to have my picture next to the word 'feederism' appear in a magazine most of the people I know read... but God, I could really do with £1,000.

If only I didn't give a damn what my family would think. :doh:

Oh, yeah, and if only I knew a thing about feederism.


----------



## CarlaSixx (Jan 13, 2011)

Hey cutie I heard that big girls have awesome personalities
care to get to know me?

---
**look at profile and see pic of just tongue, and just nakkie chest** No actual info posted of relevant facts. 
---

reply: Ummm, sorry but I don't think were looking for the same thing. 

---
his reply: wow your such a bitch. 

---

:happy: I never knew a polite answer meant I was evil. Lol.


----------



## Christov (Jan 13, 2011)

No crazy messages, but most appear unable to read my profile.

'Nobody over 40, and no children please'

'hey i'm 45 and have three children lol' 

Repeat forever.


----------



## joswitch (Jan 13, 2011)

Lovelyone said:


> I received one in my inbox that said "I read your profile and my husband is having a birthday soon. He has always wanted to be face sat by a woman like you. I was wondering (and please don't be offended) if you would be willing to give him his birthday present? I am willing to pay you accordingly"
> 
> I responded with "Thanks very much for the offer, but I posted my ad on a DATING site and not a fetish site. I am not now, nor will I EVER be interested in face sitting you, your husband, his friends or anyone else. You might have better luck on Craigslist"



"and please don't be offended"

You know when that pops out of someone's mouth that it's all downhill from there.


----------



## joswitch (Jan 13, 2011)

AmazingAmy said:


> _"Hi Amazing Amy
> 
> I came across your fantastic pictures and really hope you don't mind me contacting you. My name is ____ and I write features for the UK women's magazines. I am currently looking to write a feature about the culture of 'feeders' in return for a fee of £1,000 and wondered if you were up for taking part at all?
> 
> ...



I'll offer you coaching for my usual consultants fee of say ?£200? (no win, no fee) 

But, I've read a few articles on feederism in those mags and well:

"_It would be a very sensitive but fun feature celebrating peoples' right to be who they want to be!_"

is really, really pushing it.

Try: 

"It would be a feature where we will balance in an ambivalent fashion just about on the nice side of saying you're some kind of freak."

Fixed.


----------



## SuperMishe (Jan 15, 2011)

"hi baby i would love to meet you me and you together baby baby."

Not horrible or rude or anything.... just tiring, you know?... sigh...


----------



## penguin (Jan 15, 2011)

Oh that so ended up on the wrong page.

I've been getting a lot of "hi how r u" type messages, including one that was just "hi". I did get one from someone today who invited me over to his place (after asking how I made it through the floods), and then let me know he has a fetish for giving oral to SSBBWs. Nice.


----------



## Ash (Jan 16, 2011)

AmazingAmy said:


> _"Hi Amazing Amy
> 
> I came across your fantastic pictures and really hope you don't mind me contacting you. My name is ____ and I write features for the UK women's magazines. I am currently looking to write a feature about the culture of 'feeders' in return for a fee of £1,000 and wondered if you were up for taking part at all?
> 
> ...



I got this exact message yesterday. I'm not sure she'd be paying you the £1,000, though. She says she's writing the article in return for the fee. She doesn't say she'd give any of it to you. 

Anyway, nothing good has ever or will ever come from one of these. Run far, far away.


----------



## Famouslastwords (Jan 16, 2011)

I had a lady contact me when I was a bombshell named Ally something about an interview and she wanted to contact me about an interview concerning plus sized nude models and she offered to pay me $200 for an interview and more if the interview got published, she wanted two pictures and my phone number. I complied and she actually sent me $200, via moneygram. Granted these things are rare but if they come to you from a trusted source and you want to do it/you have nothing to lose, I wouldn't turn it down. She asked me weird questions like how much did I think one of my legs weighed. Oh lordy. I gave very uninteresting answers, so that's probably why I didn't get escalated to published...but I did get the preliminary $200.


----------



## Lovelyone (Jan 16, 2011)

I got this doozy today:
"Do you beleive in luve at first site? I do. I think that we are meaned to be together. I heard a calling when I see'd (yes that's what he typed...see'd) your pic. Can you please msg me? I will like to know you more better."


----------



## CastingPearls (Jan 16, 2011)

Facebook message:

"huuumm" 



WTF?


----------



## HDANGEL15 (Jan 16, 2011)

disconnectedsmile said:


> do people still use "shorty?" seriously?
> how was that ever meant to be a compliment of any kind?



*actually that was my bf's nickname for me, when we were living together....10 yrs later and apart he still calls me that.......it's a term of endearment​*


----------



## FatAndProud (Jan 16, 2011)

I think I may have found someone really nice  He's very sweet. We'll see where it goes. He's a guy full of compliments, I'll tell you what


----------



## Blackjack (Jan 16, 2011)

FatAndProud said:


> I think I may have found someone really nice  He's very sweet. We'll see where it goes. He's a guy full of compliments, I'll tell you what



You're dating PrettySteve?


----------



## mszwebs (Jan 16, 2011)

Blackjack said:


> You're dating PrettySteve?



Silly Beejy...

PRETTY STEVE IS MINE AND YOU KNOW IT.


----------



## FatAndProud (Jan 16, 2011)

Blackjack said:


> You're dating PrettySteve?



Rain on my parade and shit


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Jan 16, 2011)

Lovelyone said:


> I received one in my inbox that said "I read your profile and my husband is having a birthday soon. He has always wanted to be face sat by a woman like you. I was wondering (and please don't be offended) if you would be willing to give him his birthday present? I am willing to pay you accordingly"
> 
> I responded with "Thanks very much for the offer, but I posted my ad on a DATING site and not a fetish site. I am not now, nor will I EVER be interested in face sitting you, your husband, his friends or anyone else. You might have better luck on Craigslist"




*thinks of Craigslist section for love* *shudders*


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Jan 16, 2011)

CarlaSixx said:


> Hey cutie I heard that big girls have awesome personalities
> care to get to know me?
> 
> ---
> ...




sounds like he was just looking for one thing.:doh:


----------



## CarlaSixx (Jan 17, 2011)

HeavyDuty24 said:


> sounds like he was just looking for one thing.:doh:



Yeah, he was, lol. He messaged a friend of mine last night and said straight up that he was looking for a booty call. Fun fun. Too bad her thing says she's in a relationship and looking for penpals, lol.


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Jan 17, 2011)

CarlaSixx said:


> Yeah, he was, lol. He messaged a friend of mine last night and said straight up that he was looking for a booty call. Fun fun. Too bad her thing says she's in a relationship and looking for penpals, lol.



lol.man that is terrible im sorry Carla.but i know you can get much better then guys like that.:happy::bow: relationship but looking for penpals? man that's something.LOL


----------



## spiritangel (Jan 17, 2011)

I still feel sick after reading this one

i am just amazed
how would we make love
u must have a big pussy
i like to see it


the kicker it came from a 63 year old :shocked:


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Jan 18, 2011)

spiritangel said:


> I still feel sick after reading this one
> 
> i am just amazed
> how would we make love
> ...




woah that is....something else.:blink:


----------



## cinnamitch (Jan 18, 2011)

spiritangel said:


> I still feel sick after reading this one
> 
> i am just amazed
> how would we make love
> ...



Viagra must have kicked in and made him have delusions of studliness.


----------



## CarlaSixx (Jan 18, 2011)

HeavyDuty24 said:


> lol.man that is terrible im sorry Carla.but i know you can get much better then guys like that.:happy::bow: relationship but looking for penpals? man that's something.LOL



It's my friend who is marked as in a relationship but looking for penpals. She doesn't get along with most females so she hangs out with dudes all the time. I'm the same way. Her fiancé is actually the one who encouraged her to find more friends by signing up. Little did he realize she was going to get people messaging her for other stuff, haha.

I'm hoping to find better, but it seems like this guy is all I can get in this area. I'm giving up on the dating world.


----------



## CleverBomb (Jan 18, 2011)

cinnamitch said:


> Viagra must have kicked in and made him have delusions of studliness.


Some people have delusions of grandeur. 
I suspect this fellow has delusions of adequacy.

-Rusty


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Jan 18, 2011)

CarlaSixx said:


> It's my friend who is marked as in a relationship but looking for penpals. She doesn't get along with most females so she hangs out with dudes all the time. I'm the same way. Her fiancé is actually the one who encouraged her to find more friends by signing up. Little did he realize she was going to get people messaging her for other stuff, haha.
> 
> I'm hoping to find better, but it seems like this guy is all I can get in this area. I'm giving up on the dating world.




ooo i see was it on a dating site? cause i see some people say they just want freinds on a dating site,but since it's a dating site people still message those individuals.lol but i hear you Carla,i am nearly about to give up on the dating world too.i wish you and me lived close,you seem very cool. i've always wanted to move to Canada...lol


----------



## spiritangel (Jan 18, 2011)

CleverBomb said:


> Some people have delusions of grandeur.
> I suspect this fellow has delusions of adequacy.
> 
> -Rusty



Rusty I think I love you 

you to cinnamitch

we ell he got blocked without a reply I just couldnt handle even wanting to talk to him 

and I was sooo gobsmacked that a grandfather type would send such a message that I had to share it


----------



## lalatx (Jan 18, 2011)

Most recent.... "i wanna suck them tits"

While my tits are glorious I would appreciate a bit of small talk before we discuss sucking on any body parts.


----------



## joswitch (Jan 19, 2011)

spiritangel said:


> I still feel sick after reading this one
> 
> i am just amazed
> how would we make love
> ...



Coulda sent him this:





Yes, I love a good (bad) pun.


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Jan 19, 2011)

lalatx said:


> Most recent.... "i wanna suck them tits"
> 
> While my tits are glorious I would appreciate a bit of small talk before we discuss sucking on any body parts.




wow wtf.lol i think before you say things like that you should be in an estabilshed relationship with the girl first.:blink::huh::doh: you can tell a girl she has nice breast in the right time and right situations but not like that unless the two people are already dating or something man.


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Jan 19, 2011)

well i was on POF last night and got an unexpected message.it wasn't crazy just a girl saying hi.i just checked the site cause my email said someone wanted to meet me,although i couldn't see who that someone was,i did get a message from someone.

i was completely shocked cause no girl usually messages me.lol we talked and hit it off,we seem to like each other,she is pretty cool only thing when we talked she seemed to repeat everything i said which was weird. guess we were trying to find something to talk about but we seemed to click and have alot in common.we messaged each other back a couple of times,i called her but only got voice mail and left a message.

i messaged her again on POF but she seems to not be responding.i messaged her and she logged off awhile after but o well maybe she had something to do or something.i have texted her a few times.she responded like once but hasn't responded to my other one yet.but it was cool that a girl messaged me unexpectedly like that,gave me hope alittle.

i hope it works out but if not that's cool,im used to that happening.lol hope it does though somehow.lol she lives in California but im willing to do the long-distant thing if she is....


----------



## JonesT (Jan 20, 2011)

I've actually had a girl use the direct approach on me on Myspace IM once. "Will you be my boyfriend?" I was like What??? I don't even know you.


----------



## The Orange Mage (Jan 20, 2011)

I had some crazy Chicago-area lady message me the other day on OKCupid and I won't even go into it here because it was just so...wtf? o_o


----------



## LovelyLiz (Jan 20, 2011)

I just got a message on OkCupid from a guy I know in real life. Since I am not doing online dating much right now, I just have this picture of the back of my head, so I'm sure he didn't know it was me. 

Crazy thing is, me and this guy totally don't get along. Like, once we went to an Ozomatli concert with a couple mutual friends, and afterward I facebook requested him - which he denied - later saying he only added people he was really close with (which is fine, but he was FB friends with another friend of mine who he hadn't talked to in years according to her). But then we run into each other at another party like a year later, and he FB requests me after the party. I decide to be the bigger person and accept the request, and then he unfriends me a few months later. He's a wacky one.

I am trying to decide if I should email back and tell him who I am, and wish him luck in his dating stuff, or if I should just let it lie. But my jaw hit the floor when I saw the message in my inbox!


----------



## thatgirl08 (Jan 20, 2011)

That is crazy indeed.. he sounds like a jerk though. Personally, I'd problem message him and say something snarky but that's just how I am.


----------



## JonesT (Jan 20, 2011)

I just thought of another one. And I have to say that this one almost disturbed me for life. I was on Myspace IM about 2 years ago and I got a chat request from this random guy. So when I accepted it, he was like "hey man can you do me a favor?" So I was like "sure man whats up?" (Thinking that he wanted me to check out his profile or something) and the next thing he said haunts me till this day. "Will you talk dirty to me?" I was like WTF!!??  So I replied "Man I'm not like that I'm straight." After that he got all mad and was like "Well fine. And to think I was gonna show you a pic of my gf." I logged off after that and didn't get back on for at least a month. :doh: It was disturbing.


----------



## Jes (Jan 20, 2011)

spiritangel said:


> I still feel sick after reading this one
> 
> i am just amazed
> how would we make love
> ...



oh, lord. 
The terrorists have already won.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 20, 2011)

My personal favorite was the guy on myspace that sent me a message telling me how captivated he was by my _blue_ eyes.


----------



## Famouslastwords (Jan 20, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> I just got a message on OkCupid from a guy I know in real life. Since I am not doing online dating much right now, I just have this picture of the back of my head, so I'm sure he didn't know it was me.
> 
> Crazy thing is, me and this guy totally don't get along. Like, once we went to an Ozomatli concert with a couple mutual friends, and afterward I facebook requested him - which he denied - later saying he only added people he was really close with (which is fine, but he was FB friends with another friend of mine who he hadn't talked to in years according to her). But then we run into each other at another party like a year later, and he FB requests me after the party. I decide to be the bigger person and accept the request, and then he unfriends me a few months later. He's a wacky one.
> 
> I am trying to decide if I should email back and tell him who I am, and wish him luck in his dating stuff, or if I should just let it lie. But my jaw hit the floor when I saw the message in my inbox!



Inquiring minds want to know what it said.


----------



## LovelyLiz (Jan 20, 2011)

Famouslastwords said:


> Inquiring minds want to know what it said.



It was actually a really nice message talking about the things we had in common, that I sounded really fun, some of the stuff that he's involved in that relates to my field, etc. It was a really great first contact, as they go. Too bad it came from a guy whose personality and sense of humor I find ridiculously annoying, and who has always been kind of a a-hole to me.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Jan 20, 2011)

If he's always been an a-hole to you, this is your chance to get a small amount of subtle revenge. Something like...

Dear ____,

I appreciate receiving your message expressing interest in me. I do agree that we have several things in common, which is something I've already learned through our interactions in real life [something about how you know each other here so he knows who you are]. Unfortunately, however, I have no interest in you beyond that of an acquaintance, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to decline your kind offer to get to know one another further. 

Best wishes on your search,

McBeth.

This gives you a delicious opportunity to reject him and make him feel like an ass without seeming like a bitch.  Doooo eeeeet.


----------



## LovelyLiz (Jan 21, 2011)

HA! I love it. You should start a business writing these things for people.  But alas, I already responded...and was pretty nice. I might run into him again, and I guess my general M.O. is to let love be the thing to conquer the a-holishness of people...LOL. This is what I wrote:
---
Hey [Name],

This is [my name] - we actually know each other through our several mutual friends.  My lack of a face picture makes me an anonymous and mysterious internet presence...lol. Actually, I haven't been too active on here lately, that's why I took down all the other photos.

I appreciated your message and hope you're doing awesomely. You're a good first-message-writer compared to others I receive, so I have no doubt this site will treat you well and fill you with many dates.  Godspeed to both of us!

Peace,
[my name]
---
Also, he's not really a super a-hole (beyond the jerking me around on facebook, and just kind of being an arrogant, annoying guy in general). Though he has asked out ALL THREE of our mutual friends at one point or another, and has basically always seemed to consider me invisible. I would never have gone out with him, but it would always be kind of a bummer when I would be with yet another friend at a party, and before the party ended he'd be asking for her number. To have the same guy ask out like 3 different friends of mine practically right in front me on 3 different occasions...it just kind of got old.


----------



## Christov (Jan 21, 2011)

Just say 'I know where you live' and leave it at that.


----------



## LovelyLiz (Jan 21, 2011)

Christov said:


> Just say 'I know where you live' and leave it at that.



Ha, that would have been awesome. 

Next time I'll consult all of you before I send the response...


----------



## olwen (Jan 21, 2011)

I can't believe I have only just started reading this thread now. It's fracking hilarious! 

I'm on a bdsm site, but I'm not looking to meet anyone. I just like to participate in the discussions in the bbw groups and trade tips on where to get plus sized gear and such. My profile is empty. There's no description, just some random pic of an afro, no text, nothing, yet I regularly get messages from guys saying things like:

"I love your profile. Wanna be friends?"

"Read your profile, You sound like you need a spanking"

"read your profile. you sound very attractive and intersitng. I would love to
be your friend"

"i like your profile and i am very interested in you. I am a single Master 54 years old in the bronx seeking a sub for 24/7 use as domestic slut. If interested please mail me Mr B" Yeah, like I'm just dying to slave to some random guy I don't know. 


Clearly, reading comprehension is a lost art. And a lot of these guys have pics of their dicks as profile pics, which just squicks me out. I don't get why so many guys think that's the way to get a woman to drop to their knees and beg to be taken. To be fair tho, there are a lot of women who have profile pics showing cleavage or full frontal nudity or just pics of their vajajays. Meh.

Anyway, I love reading this thread. Laughter is good.


----------



## liz (di-va) (Jan 21, 2011)

"how u been?" [_he sent me a one-sentence msg a month earlier_] "was wondering when you are with someone do u mind facesitting?


----------



## joswitch (Jan 21, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> I just got a message on OkCupid from a guy I know in real life. Since I am not doing online dating much right now, I just have this picture of the back of my head, so I'm sure he didn't know it was me.
> 
> Crazy thing is, me and this guy totally don't get along. Like, once we went to an Ozomatli concert with a couple mutual friends, and afterward I facebook requested him - which he denied - later saying he only added people he was really close with (which is fine, but he was FB friends with another friend of mine who he hadn't talked to in years according to her). But then we run into each other at another party like a year later, and he FB requests me after the party. I decide to be the bigger person and accept the request, and then he unfriends me a few months later. He's a wacky one.
> 
> I am trying to decide if I should email back and tell him who I am, and wish him luck in his dating stuff, or if I should just let it lie. But my jaw hit the floor when I saw the message in my inbox!



About teh FB - I've noticed that some of my friends regularly announce that they are having a "clear-out" where presumably they unfriend peeps they haven't talked to for a while. It seems to be a FB "thing". *shrugs*


----------



## LovelyLiz (Jan 21, 2011)

joswitch said:


> About teh FB - I've noticed that some of my friends regularly announce that they are having a "clear-out" where presumably they unfriend peeps they haven't talked to for a while. It seems to be a FB "thing". *shrugs*



Yes, and that's fine - I do the same thing. But to make a big issue out of not adding me the first time, then to add me a year later only to delete me a couple months later...that's just a different category. And the fact is, he was still friends with a close friend of mine he hadn't talked to in years. If he didn't want to add me, he shouldn't have. The schizo behavior is very telling, imo.


----------



## CastingPearls (Jan 21, 2011)

joswitch said:


> About teh FB - I've noticed that some of my friends regularly announce that they are having a "clear-out" where presumably they unfriend peeps they haven't talked to for a while. It seems to be a FB "thing". *shrugs*


I go on 'delete rampages' once a month. I still need to cull the herd further since I'm only playing one of the games I used to. A lot of apps require one to get as many 'neighbors' or 'sisters' as possible to move forward in the game so I've cut back a bit but it seems whenever I delete 50, 45 re-request me. LOL


----------



## CastingPearls (Jan 21, 2011)

This is from Facebook. I don't even know this guy.

You are a pretty woman. I know this is coming from a total stranger but can I ask you your opinion on the fetishes of "Hotwifes" and "Cuckolding" ? I know this is highly unusual, but I seen your pic and thought "WOW" wouldnt she be a dream if she liked those


----------



## Jes (Jan 21, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> To have the same guy ask out like 3 different friends of mine practically right in front me on 3 different occasions...it just kind of got old.



I spent (what I thought were) 7 good hours with a guy on a first meeting and we said we'd get in touch and he didn't do so. And eventually, after I chased him down and asked what the status was he said: Well, I'm going back to the drawing board. Not that there's anyone else, btw.

Which...I see what he meant, but the upshot there was really: I'd rather be with no one than try a real date with you. 

d'oh.

ANYWAY, to stay on topic, Mc, I seriously wish you'd responded as BBMe suggested. That was great. You are so conciliatory in everything you write (that you've posted here) and I wonder how men read that? I don't know.


----------



## LovelyLiz (Jan 21, 2011)

Jes said:


> ANYWAY, to stay on topic, Mc, I seriously wish you'd responded as BBMe suggested. That was great. You are so conciliatory in everything you write (that you've posted here) and I wonder how men read that? I don't know.



I personally don't care how men read that. My own commitment is to be a person of radical love and forgiveness at all times. I'm not asking anyone else to do so, and though I realize you are well-intentioned with your advice, it just isn't my style. I am happy with who I have chosen to be, and with my response.


----------



## Gspoon (Jan 21, 2011)

Yeah, tell me about it!

I have gotten some strange messages too, like:

"You aren't a fat girl! Leave me alone" or "Stop talking about goats and how you can make a ewe turn!"

People don't seem to have open minds!


----------



## liz (di-va) (Jan 21, 2011)

"do you have alot of people wanting to worship your ass???"

Very first msg; not even a "hi hun" first from this one. I'm mostly offended that he didn't capitalize the "D."  BOOO.


----------



## LovelyLiz (Jan 21, 2011)

liz (di-va) said:


> "do you have alot of people wanting to worship your ass???"
> 
> Very first msg; not even a "hi hun" first from this one. I'm mostly offended that he didn't capitalize the "D."  BOOO.



I've seen your ass (well, clothed and in pics...). But based on that, he should have capitalized the A. It deserves a capital.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Jan 21, 2011)

liz (di-va) said:


> "do you have alot of people wanting to worship your ass???"



"Yes, but unfortunately most of them don't know how to capitalize the first letter of sentences, so they never get anywhere with me.  "


----------



## liz (di-va) (Jan 21, 2011)

I felt pissy, so I said in response, "You mean, is that the first thing out of a man's mouth?" "When he meets me?" "As you just did?" "That'd be kinda rude, wouldn't it?" But despite the nice rounded quality of the lesson in this situation, down to the learning aid of his initial message sittin right there, I do not think he heard it. Hehehe.

95% of the time I let those dumb comments roll over me and don't find them worth worrying about, but I felt like a lil sass-back tonight . Which is of course one's constitutional right. Fuck em if they can't take a joke.

Gratz for the compliment, Ms. B. My bum wobbles respectfully in your direction in thanks.


----------



## SuperMishe (Jan 23, 2011)

Got a doozy this morning:

How are you doing?I hope you get this mail and it finds you well.I was glancing through profiles when your beautiful pic got me attracted and your lovely word had me wrote you ,WOW i really was marveled reading your profile and the first was that came out of me was how amazing you are ... WOW you are drop dead beautiful

My name is Richard dewl,40 yrs, Height"5' 9.4" ,blonder hairs, blue eyes.Originally from USA,VA.Widower with a son named Joshua.I relocated to staying in Liverpool,UK with my grandma due to the death of my parents and that where i lived most of my life.I was told my Mon died after she gave birth to me and my dad died after a brief illness.I Studied in U CL(University College London) had my master's degree in Sales and Management.I'm a proud,.I receive the most compliments on my eyes (blue), legs (shapely/muscular) and my thoughtfulness (very). I consider myself very versatile and I have to be because I have friends and business associates of all races, ages and social-economic backgrounds. I'm very laid-back and down-to-earth. I'm also very old-fashioned when it comes to my respect and treatment of woman...As for my hobbies...Hohhot 

Like camping,fishing,golf,watching movies,not much into sports but also do the side thing..loll.I like spending time with loved ones,i don't smoke and i don't drink .I really don't have much time for the common 'traditional single scene' but thought I'd give it a try,besides, i have a few friends who have had good experiences.I'm an honest and straight forward woman not into playing games. 

Seeking a woman with the entire provability package,beautiful and morals.With self respect,understanding caring heart and not into games.Looking for a serious woman to settle with spend the rest of my life with,would take things easy but if sparks fly,then so be it. 

Sorry for the lengthy note,however my aim is to give you a full picture of who i am.I would be very glad if you respond with the hope of corresponding,and also hope we get to know each other better as i look forward to reading from you soon.Till i hear from you,have a blissful time and stay with God's blessings.Hope you reply soon...Feel Free to send me an email to {[email protected]} or IM me at my yahoo Instant Messenger {[email protected]}

Richard

Rest assured, I will not be responding! LOL!


----------



## ValentineBBW (Jan 23, 2011)

SuperMishe said:


> Got a doozy this morning:
> 
> How are you doing?I hope you get this mail and it finds you well.I was glancing through profiles when your beautiful pic got me attracted and your lovely word had me wrote you ,WOW i really was marveled reading your profile and the first was that came out of me was how amazing you are ... WOW you are drop dead beautiful
> 
> ...



Yep, this gem hit me last week too! I've received a bunch like this lately, I am beginning to think the winter brings out the wackos.


----------



## ValentineBBW (Jan 23, 2011)

SuperMishe said:


> Got a doozy this morning:
> 
> How are you doing?I hope you get this mail and it finds you well.I was glancing through profiles when your beautiful pic got me attracted and your lovely word had me wrote you ,WOW i really was marveled reading your profile and the first was that came out of me was how amazing you are ... WOW you are drop dead beautiful
> 
> ...



Yep, this gem hit me last week too! I've received a bunch like this lately, I am beginning to think winter brings out the wackos.


----------



## Lovelyone (Jan 23, 2011)

ValentineBBW said:


> Yep, this gem hit me last week too! I've received a bunch like this lately, I am beginning to think winter brings out the wackos.



I received a similar one to this also. At least we know that THIS particular scammer really does like bigger women. In all seriousness, though--I watched a program on television (either dateline or 20/20) that said that the largest concentrations of on line scam artists are from Nigeria, Ghana, and oddly enough The UK. They target the elderly women and plus-sized women because apparently we are easy prey because *gasp* we are desperate enough to want to believe them.
Whenever I receive one of these with the "boo,hoo,hoo my wife/fiancee/son/daughter/parent died" I immediately delete them. It is a typical ploy they use to draw you in.


----------



## penguin (Jan 23, 2011)

I get ones like that on facebook all the time, where they've just ~fallen in love~ with my profile picture, and of course have a very sad tale where their wife and/or child has died and they're looking for love again and want to marry me.

Man, I'll never be that desperate.


----------



## PamelaLois (Jan 23, 2011)

What really annoys me about these things is the inability of the person to use common punctuation, capitalization, spelling and grammar. If you are sincerely interested in a woman, wouldn't you want to put your best foot forward? And in a written medium that would mean that you spell correctly, punctuate correctly and follow generally accepted rules of grammar! I swear, I am really tempted to marry the first man that can use the proper form of they're/there/their in a message.


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya (Jan 23, 2011)

SuperMishe said:


> Got a doozy this morning:
> 
> How are you doing?I hope you get this mail and it finds you well.I was glancing through profiles when your beautiful pic got me attracted and your lovely word had me wrote you ,WOW i really was marveled reading your profile and the first was that came out of me was how amazing you are ... WOW you are drop dead beautiful
> 
> ...



HAHAHA, I love his height. Five foot, 9 and 4/10 of an inch. wtf? hahaha. awesome.


----------



## Christov (Jan 24, 2011)

No weird messages lately, but plenty of people who look like they've served a rough sentence in prison. 

I know I have the prison bitch look, but I don't expect to be accosted by ex-cons looking for a slice of the good ol' days.


----------



## AmazingAmy (Jan 24, 2011)

I think I just beat you all hands down:

_"yes hitler's brave nazi warriors are the reason why today we are free from total jewish allied domination. hitler's nazi military goes down as the most successfull war on international jewry and alliedism in history, but there is still lots more work to be done to carry on the nazi fight against judaism & alliedism in the axis nazi movement of today. today we don't have axis german nazi or japanese soldiers, as currently these nations have sold out to the jews and are puppets of the hated jewish allied enemies' regime. today we have the brave islamist nazi jihad fighters like iraq, iran, afghanistan, north korea, venezeula, taliban, hezbollah, hamas, palestine, etc. carrying on hitler's nazi fight against judaism, alliedism, the western allies, the hated jewish allied enemies and their zionist supporters. hitler would be proud of them all.
anyone who stands up to, fights, or kills jewish allied soldiers (especially isrealis and americans) is a true axis nazi hero in my nazi books. germany, japan, iran, islamist nazis, and the neonazi volkssturm of the world(nazi home guard) should team up to invade and destroy the hated isreal. as far as i am concerned, isreal does not exist. that land belongs to the palestineans. if we stand up to and confront the jews and all pro axis nazi supporters work and fight together, i have nazi faith that one day this world will be free from isreal, alliedism, the hated jewish allied enemies & their zionist supporters, and we may need to have a 3rd world war before international jewry is finally vanquished from this earth once and for all, hitler willing.
in other nazi news, sheik osama bin laden & iranean fuhrer mahmoud amadinejad recently denied the holohoax again and called for the destruction of isreal and the zionist jewish allied regime. all i have to say is build your strength & weapons, my nazi warriors of the revolution. for when the nazi war comes down in this axis nazi jihad, there will be no mercy on these juden-infidels as we strike terror into our jewish allied enemies- count me in this nazi fight! LET THE CATTLE CARS ROLL!! DEATH TO ISREAL AND THE HATED JEWISH ALLIED ENEMIES!! AXIS POWER!! HEIL HIMMLER!! HEIL HITLER! HEIL AMADINEJAD! HEIL IRAN! LONG LIVE THE AXIS NAZI JIHAD REVOLUTION!! LET THE NAZI JIHAD COMMENCE. HITLER AND ALLAH WILL CONQUER!!"_

I've never even spoken to/heard of this guy before, he didn't even say hi. His name is Qaedafghtr Himmller on Facebook. I don't think he'll mind me telling anyone.


----------



## AmazingAmy (Jan 24, 2011)

I sent him a response saying 'cool story bro' and he just sent back:

_"PLZ DO GIVE ME THE NAZI FRIEND AD MISTRESS. AND ASK CHISTOV WHY HE BLOCK THIS PROUD NAZI JIHAD WARRIOR(?) NAZI JIHAD CHEERS FRAU."_

Explain yourself, Christov!


----------



## penguin (Jan 24, 2011)

AmazingAmy said:


> Explain yourself, Christov!



Ah his secret is out. He's obviously the mastermind behind it all.


----------



## CleverBomb (Jan 24, 2011)

Wow. That's actually our "pet" chatroom troll, based on the content. It's been repeatedly banned, and is the reason behind some of the amusing text-substitution macros in the chat.

Apparently he's found facebook now. 
Oh joy. 

-Rusty


----------



## AmazingAmy (Jan 24, 2011)

Me: You're a friend of Christov?

Qaedafghtr Himmller: I SAW HIM ON A WEBSITE BY THE NAME OF DIMENSIONS. IS HE A NAZI OR COMMUNIST?

Cast your votes now on what I should tell him.


----------



## Famouslastwords (Jan 24, 2011)

I vote commie.


----------



## Christov (Jan 24, 2011)

Better red than smeg.


----------



## Famouslastwords (Jan 24, 2011)

Christov said:


> Better red than smeg.



but I'm a commie too.


----------



## AmazingAmy (Jan 24, 2011)

Me: Communist for sure. 

Qaedafghtr Himmller: WHY DID HE BLOCK ME THEN. COMMUNISTS FOUGHT AGAINST JEWNITED STATES AND WAS ON THE SIDE OF THE ISLAMISTS/ARABS IN WAR AGAINST ISREAL. MOST OF THE COMMUNISTS DID NOT LIKE JEWS OR CHRISTAINS OR CAPITALISTS OR WESTERN ALLIES. CASTRO IS A GREAT LEADER I WATCHED HIS SPEECH ON YOUTUBE. STALIN ACTUALLY CONTROLLED MORE TERRITORY THAN HITLER AFTER WW2. RUSSIA SOLD ARMS TO SADDAM'S IRAQ & IS SUPPLYING IRAN WITH NUCLEAR TECHNOLOGY AND SYRIA TOO.

Me: ...You should ask Christov.


Go on, unblock the guy.


----------



## Christov (Jan 24, 2011)

Tell him I'm an anti-fascist and he can kiss my dick.


----------



## WannabePrincess (Jan 24, 2011)

I once got a message that said something along the lines of

"I saw your profile and I really like the way you look. However I like my women bald. I would love it if you would move to Australia to be with me and let me shave your head so you are bald and shiney"


----------



## AmazingAmy (Jan 24, 2011)

WannabePrincess said:


> I once got a message that said something along the lines of
> 
> "I saw your profile and I really like the way you look. However I like my women bald. I would love it if you would move to Australia to be with me and let me shave your head so you are bald and shiney"



Give him my number.


----------



## AmazingAmy (Jan 24, 2011)

Christov said:


> Tell him I'm an anti-fascist and he can kiss my dick.



Me: Christov says he's an anti-fascist and you can kiss his dick. 

Qaedafghtr Himmller: I WOULD BUT THOSE NO GOOD DIMENSIONS JEWS BANISHED THIS PROUD NAZI JIHAD WARRIOR. I AM ACTUALLY MORE JIHADIST THAN FASCIST. ZIONIST ISREAL & JEWNITED STATES IS THE ONLY FASCIST-LIKE REGIME IN THE WORLD TODAY WHO THINKS THEY OWN THE FVCKING WORLD. WHAT IS CHRISTOV'S STANCE ON THE CURRENT NAZI JIHAD WAR?

Me: You'd kiss Christov's dick if they hadn't banned you?


----------



## penguin (Jan 24, 2011)

Lol this is a brilliant thread.


----------



## CarlaSixx (Jan 24, 2011)

Totally loving how this Hitler loving dude commentary is going! Ha! Nice way to wake up  with a smile.


----------



## Blackjack (Jan 24, 2011)

AmazingAmy said:


> Me: Christov says he's an anti-fascist and you can kiss his dick.
> 
> Qaedafghtr Himmller: I WOULD BUT THOSE NO GOOD DIMENSIONS JEWS BANISHED THIS PROUD NAZI JIHAD WARRIOR. I AM ACTUALLY MORE JIHADIST THAN FASCIST. ZIONIST ISREAL & JEWNITED STATES IS THE ONLY FASCIST-LIKE REGIME IN THE WORLD TODAY WHO THINKS THEY OWN THE FVCKING WORLD. WHAT IS CHRISTOV'S STANCE ON THE CURRENT NAZI JIHAD WAR?
> 
> Me: You'd kiss Christov's dick if they hadn't banned you?



You fucking rock.


----------



## AmazingAmy (Jan 24, 2011)

Qaedafghtr Himmller: NO I SAID I WOULD DISCUSS NAZI JIHAD MATTERS WITH CHRISTOV ON DIMENSIONS. AND SPEAKING OF DIMENSIONS, ARE YOU BBW?

Me: Yeah. 

Qaedafghtr Himmller: WHAT IS YOUR WEIGHT? LETS SEE SOME PICTURES. 

Me: You first.

Qaedafghtr Himmller: SO IS CHRISTOV OR YOU GOING TO ADD ME OR NOT? THOSE NO GOOD FACEBOOK JEWS BLOCKED MY REQUESTS AGAIN LAST NIGHT SO YOU WILL NEED TO SEND ME A FRIEND REQ. FRAULEIN. SAME WITH CHRISTOV.


And that's the end of that. What a special, special dude.


----------



## joswitch (Jan 24, 2011)

AmazingAmy said:


> Me: Christov says he's an anti-fascist and you can kiss his dick.
> 
> Qaedafghtr Himmller: I WOULD BUT THOSE NO GOOD DIMENSIONS JEWS BANISHED THIS PROUD NAZI JIHAD WARRIOR. I AM ACTUALLY MORE JIHADIST THAN FASCIST. ZIONIST ISREAL & JEWNITED STATES IS THE ONLY FASCIST-LIKE REGIME IN THE WORLD TODAY WHO THINKS THEY OWN THE FVCKING WORLD. WHAT IS CHRISTOV'S STANCE ON THE CURRENT NAZI JIHAD WAR?
> 
> Me: You'd kiss Christov's dick if they hadn't banned you?



Ahahahahah! I wish I could rep you for this!


----------



## joswitch (Jan 24, 2011)

AmazingAmy said:


> I think I just beat you all hands down:
> 
> _"yes hitler's brave nazi warriors are the reason why today we are free from total jewish allied domination. hitler's nazi military goes down as the most successfull war on international jewry and alliedism in history, but there is still lots more work to be done to carry on the nazi fight against judaism & alliedism in the axis nazi movement of today. today we don't have axis german nazi or japanese soldiers, as currently these nations have sold out to the jews and are puppets of the hated jewish allied enemies' regime. today we have the brave islamist nazi jihad fighters like iraq, iran, afghanistan, north korea, venezeula, taliban, hezbollah, hamas, palestine, etc. carrying on hitler's nazi fight against judaism, alliedism, the western allies, the hated jewish allied enemies and their zionist supporters. hitler would be proud of them all.
> anyone who stands up to, fights, or kills jewish allied soldiers (especially isrealis and americans) is a true axis nazi hero in my nazi books. germany, japan, iran, islamist nazis, and the neonazi volkssturm of the world(nazi home guard) should team up to invade and destroy the hated isreal. as far as i am concerned, isreal does not exist. that land belongs to the palestineans. if we stand up to and confront the jews and all pro axis nazi supporters work and fight together, i have nazi faith that one day this world will be free from isreal, alliedism, the hated jewish allied enemies & their zionist supporters, and we may need to have a 3rd world war before international jewry is finally vanquished from this earth once and for all, hitler willing.
> ...



WTF?

With his
"nazi books"
and his
"nazi faith"
and his
"nazi news"

I think QusajfgasyufHimmler might be a bit naziOCD!
What an incredible knobsack!


----------



## joswitch (Jan 24, 2011)

AmazingAmy said:


> Qaedafghtr Himmller: NO I SAID I WOULD DISCUSS NAZI JIHAD MATTERS WITH CHRISTOV ON DIMENSIONS. AND SPEAKING OF DIMENSIONS, ARE YOU BBW?
> 
> Me: Yeah.
> 
> ...



Y'know what worries me?
One day he might actually find a nazi fat chick and breed lots of mini-nazis..

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!


----------



## PamelaLois (Jan 24, 2011)

joswitch said:


> Ahahahahah! I wish I could rep you for this!



I gave her some rep for you


----------



## penguin (Jan 24, 2011)

PamelaLois said:


> I gave her some rep for you



hah I had to too.


----------



## CastingPearls (Jan 24, 2011)

That guys always a lot of fun on chat late at night. As soon as he gets booted he's back on. He's a riot.


----------



## Lovelyone (Jan 24, 2011)

Nazi guy sent me the same message on facebook. I guess he just copies and pastes his drivel to all the fat ladies on facebook.


----------



## olwen (Jan 24, 2011)

Not the black ones apparently. LOL


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Jan 24, 2011)

Sadly, Rusty, Nazi guy has been on FB for a couple of years now, adding unsuspecting Dims people. And YouTube, also. PITA.


----------



## liz (di-va) (Jan 24, 2011)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Sadly, Rusty, Nazi guy has been on FB for a couple of years now, adding unsuspecting Dims people. And YouTube, also. PITA.


Yah, and Myspace before that.


----------



## Tracyarts (Jan 25, 2011)

I remember the Nazi sent me a friend request on MySpace once. The fact that he had no way of knowing that I'm married to a Jewish guy seemed really ironic to me at the time. In a twisted but amusing kind of way...

Tracy


----------



## penguin (Jan 25, 2011)

So about...11pm last night I received two messages from this one guy on POF:

Hi my name is Ben I would love the chance to chat with you....

and

I'm going to go out on a limm with this and give you my number....I think we could be good friends or more... Ben <number>

Uh...huh.

Followed this morning (8 hours later) with:

Why no message back???

WTF dude.


----------



## joswitch (Jan 26, 2011)

_"Andi T*snip*January 26, 2011 at 11:35pm
Subject: care to know you
Hi Handsome,
How are you doing it,s really nice to learn one or two things from your Profile here on face book.I hope your doing good you have a nice Post well my name is andi tricia and i am 29 years old Born and raise in Texas But my dad was from Spain,Madrid,I grew Up in the state of Texas in Austin , I am the older child of late tricia family, I school in Torrence High School in Madrid, Spain and went to University of Texas at Austin.. Actually i am searching for my Mr right on face book i am new on this site then i saw your profile on face book ! I feel i should write you because you're look handsome and i can also enjoy what i read in your profile i think it's will be nice to know which each .. I've never been married I am single and looking for the right man who will make me happy and i also will make him happy for the rest of our life.. I am a lady of Dignity .. looking for a real man I am emotional, calm, effective, stylish, well-behaved, *like to look after myself and to be in a good shape. *I am very cheerful with a good sense of humor, affectionate, tender, careful... I want to be serious in all what i said.. I like being honest and caring.. I dream to travel to see other cultures and people. I like fitness, *was engaged to yoga*, like to dance in the (rock, pop, jazz), to read magazines, novels, to watch historical films, comedies.* I like indoor plants*, to work with computer. I adore pets, to rest on the sea, active rest in the country . Seeks Partner: If you are lonely as I am, kind, careful, sensitive and tender for your lady then write me. I want to be love, respect and trust. I want both of us to value relationship ties. I believe I will find you for sure and it does not matter where you live. I don't mind to relocate. I dream my husband to be a reliable support for me in this world and also want him to love our little future son and be attentive a careful Father. I am sure I will be a loyal,careful and always pretty lady that my husband will proud of me always. Our every day will be full of happiness and love. I always will support my husband in everything... I know it's kindly hard finding the right person but i am sure i find the right person i am looking for !!!I will like to talk to you more better than writing i don't know if you have Yahoo! So we can talk much better i am online now ! Hit me up at andi_tricia or email me at andit*snippedjustincaseitWASreal* . So let me know if you have Yahoo IM so that we can chat and talk better ..i still like everything i see and love little things ii read from your post here andi"_

^Who the fuck is yoga and why didn't you marry him?
Also, plants belong outdoors
Also
tl;dr, incoherent + bad grammar, code for "be thin" and pic of thin girl. Epic Spam Fail.


----------



## Lovelyone (Jan 26, 2011)

my most recent was "who would want to date a fat slob like you? Fat people are discustink (yeah it was spelled that way)"

I reported him...but only after sending the following message "Who would want to date a fat slob? That's probably a question you should ask the last person who dated you. Have a wonderful day sitting behind your computer screen, dreaming of the perfect woman who would find you in your dirty wife beater t-shirt and eating corn from a can...attractive."


----------



## CastingPearls (Jan 26, 2011)

joswitch said:


> tl;dr, incoherent + bad grammar, code for "be thin" and pic of thin girl. Epic Spam Fail.



It's a good thing you didn't read it since she wants to get hitched. LMAO


----------



## joswitch (Jan 26, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> It's a good thing you didn't read it since she wants to get hitched. LMAO



Oh, I did scan it, and yeah I saw the mention of "husband"...
Lol'd!


----------



## joswitch (Jan 26, 2011)

Lovelyone said:


> my most recent was "who would want to date a fat slob like you? Fat people are discustink (yeah it was spelled that way)"
> 
> I reported him...but only after sending the following message "Who would want to date a fat slob? That's probably a question you should ask the last person who dated you. Have a wonderful day sitting behind your computer screen, dreaming of the perfect woman who would find you in your dirty wife beater t-shirt and eating corn from a can...attractive."



Wait... They put corn? in cans?


----------



## LovelyLiz (Jan 26, 2011)

joswitch said:


> Wait... They put corn? in cans?



You have got to be kidding me.


----------



## PhatChk (Jan 26, 2011)

This guy been stalking me since the pic came out. This the msg I got in fb: "Hello ! i felt in love with you the very instant i saw you in the fullbeauty project ! i would love to know more about you 
friendly, A"
He has found my myspace, fb, and formspring account. 
In Formspring : "you're so freakin cute, i love you <3 you were divine in the fullbodyproject <3 and you're cosplaying ! <3<3 i love you in a fanboy way, keep being yourself ! do you have a blog or some cosplay account where i can see more of you work ? "


----------



## lalatx (Jan 27, 2011)

Received this lovely gem today on POF "I am raping you with my eyes"

My response " Really? B/C I am stabbing you with my mind."

His response "It was meant to be a compliment... geez."

My response "Since when is raping someone real or imagined a compliment?"


----------



## joswitch (Jan 27, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> You have got to be kidding me.



Just a bit.

No, I knew that, just when I first read it I had a  moment.


----------



## olwen (Jan 27, 2011)

This post from the BDSM site I'm on made me chuckle. It's not a real first message, but it may as well be. 


> Dear Mistress,
> Do me, do me, do this to me, do that to me, do this other thing to me, wear these clothes while you are doing it, force me to do these other things, and by the way I expect some kinky sex acts.
> Here is a picture of my big hard cock for Your pleasure. I've only sent it to 6,342 women on this site so far, so it should make you feel really special that I'm sending it to you too.
> I won't pay you money because pros are so selfish and demanding. You have to do all this stuff to me just because You like it, and if You don't, then obviously you are not a Real Domme.
> ...


----------



## Tanuki (Jan 27, 2011)

"You have great eyes and mouth. Covering up arms seems best though, the picture with them exposed is the only not-awesome one ;-; "


----------



## Ash (Jan 27, 2011)

Tanuki Kimberly said:


> "You have great eyes and mouth. Covering up arms seems best though, the picture with them exposed is the only not-awesome one ;-; "



Ha. Charming!


----------



## penguin (Jan 27, 2011)

olwen said:


> This post from the BDSM site I'm on made me chuckle. It's not a real first message, but it may as well be.



Oh yeah, he knows how it works!


----------



## AmazingAmy (Jan 27, 2011)

Tanuki Kimberly said:


> "You have great eyes and mouth. Covering up arms seems best though, the picture with them exposed is the only not-awesome one ;-; "



Tell him his face needs covering, seems best.


----------



## liz (di-va) (Jan 27, 2011)

Tanuki Kimberly said:


> "You have great eyes and mouth. Covering up arms seems best though, the picture with them exposed is the only not-awesome one ;-; "


Wow. WOW. What a fuck.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Jan 27, 2011)

liz (di-va) said:


> Wow. WOW. What a fuck.



QFT!..........


----------



## CleverBomb (Jan 27, 2011)

joswitch said:


> Wait... They put corn? in cans?


The internet is for corn.

-Rusty


----------



## Carrie (Jan 28, 2011)

"your not that fat I would let you sit on my face". 




Is it me, or did I just win the thread?


----------



## JerseyGirl07093 (Jan 28, 2011)

Carrie said:


> "your not that fat I would let you sit on my face".
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Good thing: you win. Bad thing: the prize is you get to sit on that guy's face.  :doh:


----------



## Blackjack (Jan 28, 2011)

JerseyGirl07093 said:


> Good thing: you win. Bad thing: the prize is you get to sit on that guy's face.  :doh:



On the plus side, that guy is me.


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Jan 28, 2011)

Blackjack said:


> On the plus side, that guy is me.




LOL lucky you.


----------



## penguin (Jan 28, 2011)

Blackjack said:


> On the plus side, that guy is me.



Message has gone from creepy to hot.


----------



## liz (di-va) (Jan 31, 2011)

My question that I'm rolling around at the moment:

Why do you think people respond to personal ads for people far away? Not LDRs that grow out of chat or messaging or whatever--but ad-answering. You live in Anchorage/Philadelphia/Flagstaff and you send a message to somebody in Bar Harbor/Cheyenne/Tuscaloosa...why?

I've certainly been seduced by the whole internet shopping thing--where somehow distance temporarily dissolves while you click hello at a pretty set of photos--but at this point I don't think I'd seriously msg somebody who lived far away. I might wink at them to let em know I think they're cute, or at 3:00 a.m. in a fit of insomnia msg someone who seems like a great match on paper just for the halibut, but I think that's it. And I certainly would respect (& have) a response that was something like "thanks, but hello you live 300 miles away" or whatever.

I've gotten a lot of email recently from dudes who live far away, out of state, out of the country. It's from a BBW site, where there's always been a fair amount of msging from dudes WAY far away, which I connect with men who live in countries with few fat chicks or whatever, but why would a guy from (for instance) New York msg? Or LA or whatever? (I live in Chicago.) What do you think they hope will happen? I'm curious (I'm tossing the cheating salesmen types out of the equation here).

I've also gotten a few responses recently from men from my "local only" personal ad who were affronted that I wasn't "open" to long distance. I have way too many long-distance friendships, so I know it's possible to maintain friendships, even intense ones, at a distance, but certainly at some point you want to actually spend time with somebody, right? 

I just wonder what others might think. And if there are gender differences. I'm not sayin this behavior is wrong, btw, just...curious.


----------



## The Orange Mage (Jan 31, 2011)

I attribute it to internet horndogs (of which MOST are male) more than men as a whole. I for one stated I only wanted local, but honestly only got messages from locals I didn't really want, but got a decent number from young ladies out of my "range" and one of them completely won me over.

I'm on a phone right now, but I totally have to post this message I once got at OKCupid when I get home.


----------



## penguin (Jan 31, 2011)

I think they just don't bother reading your whole profile.


----------



## The Orange Mage (Jan 31, 2011)

Reminds me of how I stated I only wanted long-term and local, and got at least two messages from people who stated they were moving across the country in weeks or months. Way to go, people. Or the message I'm gonna post when I get home...I was already spoken for when she sent it!


----------



## staceysmith (Jan 31, 2011)

The Orange Mage said:


> Reminds me of how I stated I only wanted long-term and local, and got at least two messages from people who stated they were moving across the country in weeks or months. Way to go, people. Or the message I'm gonna post when I get home...I was already spoken for when she sent it!



Damn right you were. <3 Haha.

I've always been wary of POF, it always seems like the shady-craigslist type was on there. I had a profile on there for about a month, and then deleted it because all I ever got was "CAN I HAVE YOUR NUMBER?!" type.






Okcupid is full of fail and win. I once received an award from someone that said "Well, gee whiz, for the obvious.  I figure she's way out of my league, so I might as well give her boobies a shout-out." Why yes. I am out of your league. And two, _*what the fuck*_? @[email protected]; But it also helped me find mister Orange Mage up there. xD


----------



## The Orange Mage (Jan 31, 2011)

Okay, here's the message:



> I'm a creepy stalker and noticed that your girlfriend lives in another state.
> If long-distance is your thing, hit me up if you ever want to pursue an online whirlwind courtship with a chick from Chicago.
> We're pretty cool here.



What the crap?


----------



## FatAndProud (Feb 1, 2011)

I'd have to say that long distance absolutely does not work. I don't know how couples can do it. I know it's been done, but it takes two patient individuals. I guess I'm too greedy?


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Feb 1, 2011)

staceysmith said:


> Damn right you were. <3 Haha.
> 
> I've always been wary of POF, it always seems like the shady-craigslist type was on there. I had a profile on there for about a month, and then deleted it because all I ever got was "CAN I HAVE YOUR NUMBER?!" type.
> 
> ...





OMG! LMAO! if you ever want a good laugh,why "can i have your number" that is hilarious! ahahaha LMAO!


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Feb 1, 2011)

staceysmith said:


> Damn right you were. <3 Haha.
> 
> I've always been wary of POF, it always seems like the shady-craigslist type was on there. I had a profile on there for about a month, and then deleted it because all I ever got was "CAN I HAVE YOUR NUMBER?!" type.
> 
> ...





OMG! LMAO! if you ever want a good laugh,watch "can i have your number" that is hilarious! ahahaha LMAO!


----------



## liz (di-va) (Feb 3, 2011)

hidoyouhavemorepix?
canIseemorepix?
doyouhavemorepix?
canIseesomemorepix
doyouhavemorepix?
hidoyouhavemorepix?
canIseemorepix?
doyouhavemorepix?
canIseesomemorepix
doyouhavemorepix?


----------



## lalatx (Feb 3, 2011)

POF- "I want to know you in the biblical sense. "
My reply- "God with smite you for your lustful mind and lack of a proper introduction message."


----------



## Lovelyone (Feb 4, 2011)

My latest...
"You big fat lady with pretty face. I look for wife. You know me?"


----------



## Tracyarts (Feb 4, 2011)

"You big fat lady with pretty face. I look for wife. You know me?"

LOL!

I get guys messaging me online to tell me that my husband is a lucky man and how much they want a fat wife of their own. And by the way, might I have any fat sisters, sisters in law, cousins, aunts, friends, etc... who want a husband?

Ummmm...no. And if I did, I wouldn't be pimping them out to random people online.

Tracy


----------



## FatAndProud (Feb 7, 2011)

"ur hott............. jk ur a fatass"
A message from a 19yo guy who wants a "good time" and knows "how to have fun both illegally and legally". Ah, what a promising youth for our future lol

*My response*: haha You're a douche for taking the time to respond to a fat person over the internet. Congratulations, I hope you fulfilled your douchebaggery for today!


----------



## LovelyLiz (Feb 7, 2011)

FatAndProud said:


> "ur hott............. jk ur a fatass"
> A message from a 19yo guy who wants a "good time" and knows "how to have fun both illegally and legally". Ah, what a promising youth for our future lol
> 
> *My response*: haha You're a douche for taking the time to respond to a fat person over the internet. Congratulations, I hope you fulfilled your douchebaggery for today!



Douchebaggery is right. What a motherf***er. I hope you blocked him so you don't have to see what kind of assholish thing he decides to reply back. People can be such idiots...but your reply was awesome! Super great.


----------



## JustmeinGA (Feb 7, 2011)

Just had to say I'm getting a huge kick out of this thread. I recently signed up on one of those internet sites... I haven't gotten any weird messages, however I can sympathize with the emails form guys who are WAY far away...as far as Sweden? Holy cow. I had a lot from CA too...I thought maybe they saw GA and misread it. I even put--guys in my state only please--in my profile...
At least now I know who can follow directions and who cant... LOL
Wait...I did have one weird message...had a guy tell me he liked my ass and I told him thanks I kind of like it too..
Then he offered to make it jiggle sometime...
sigh....
oh well....
I'm not sure if I could handle something more weird than that.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Feb 22, 2011)

Just joined BBWDatefinder - got a nice enough message from this guy. I look at his profile, and I'm thinking wow, he sounds ridiculously self-absorbed... and then I get to the end... 



> I'll try to be as politically correct as I can in saying that I am not attracted to any other race than my own nor am I attracted to women who have in the past or currently date outside of their race. Sorry, that's just my personal preference.



The first part of that... well, everyone has their own sexual preferences, I guess... but the second part?! I don't think I've ever blocked anyone so quickly on a dating site, EVER.


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Feb 23, 2011)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Just joined BBWDatefinder - got a nice enough message from this guy. I look at his profile, and I'm thinking wow, he sounds ridiculously self-absorbed... and then I get to the end...
> 
> 
> 
> The first part of that... well, everyone has their own sexual preferences, I guess... but the second part?! I don't think I've ever blocked anyone so quickly on a dating site, EVER.




that is terrible,the nerve of some people.that right there is probably why he's STILL single actually.:doh:


----------



## FatAndProud (Feb 23, 2011)

I think my messages beat your guys' always. I really get the gents. Oh man.

[08:51] dirkbogarde1001: hi
[08:56] K8teee: hi
[08:57] dirkbogarde1001: im geof
[08:57] K8teee: i'm katie
[08:58] dirkbogarde1001: nice to meet you fora second ime
[08:58] K8teee: lol
[08:58] K8teee: for sure
[08:58] dirkbogarde1001: i cant recall the first, but i have faith in what i say
[08:59] dirkbogarde1001: where do u think we met?
[08:59] dirkbogarde1001: pof?
[09:00] K8teee: possibly
[09:00] K8teee: are you from michigan?
[09:01] dirkbogarde1001: yes i am
[09:02] dirkbogarde1001: that might be wh i like chubby girls too lol
[09:02] dirkbogarde1001: are you?
[09:02] dirkbogarde1001: from mi
[09:05] dirkbogarde1001: ?
[09:06] K8teee: yes
[09:06] dirkbogarde1001: imkind of far from the screen
[09:07] K8teee: you like chubby girls? lol
[09:08] dirkbogarde1001: you can laugh or call me a pervert, but i wont deny it
[09:08] K8teee: haha
[09:10] dirkbogarde1001: im not into whaling
[09:11] K8teee: oh gosh lol
[09:11] dirkbogarde1001: i just like big tits big asses and big thighs
[09:11] K8teee: lol
[09:11] K8teee: ok
[09:12] dirkbogarde1001: and i kind of appreciate a big belly too
[09:12] dirkbogarde1001: hehehe
[09:12] K8teee: but you don't like "whaling"? wtf lol
[09:12] K8teee: i think you need to find yourself, dear 
[09:13] dirkbogarde1001: i think you are mistaken if you think all fat girls look the same, or even look like girls
[09:14] dirkbogarde1001: telling me to find myself though? interesting choice of words. wheredid you get your masters degree? i got mine in ann arbor
[09:15] K8teee: apparently if you can treat women with a term such as "whaling", then your masters degree means nothing. your institution failed to treat you simple respect for others.
[09:16] dirkbogarde1001: you were the one that classified chubby as fat
[09:16] K8teee: fat is not a derogatory term for me. it's another descriptor just like chubby, plump, fluffy, etc. it's all the same to me.
[09:17] dirkbogarde1001: but those words dont mean the same thing
[09:17] K8teee: you say tomato, i say tomahto! 
[09:17] dirkbogarde1001: and those are two different spellings for the same word
[09:18] dirkbogarde1001: anyway
[09:18] dirkbogarde1001: are you single?
[09:18] K8teee: yes
[09:20] dirkbogarde1001: that's good news
[09:20] dirkbogarde1001: i like a firecracker
[09:20] K8teee: lol
[09:20] dirkbogarde1001: do u have facebook?
[09:20] K8teee: yup
[09:20] dirkbogarde1001: may i?
[09:20] K8teee: no
[09:20] dirkbogarde1001: why?
[09:21] dirkbogarde1001: are you not interested in chatting further?
[09:21] K8teee: not really, sorry!
[09:22] dirkbogarde1001: was it the whaling comment?
[09:22] K8teee: absolutely
[09:22] dirkbogarde1001: but i like fat girls
[09:22] dirkbogarde1001: i just dont like shapeless ones
[09:23] K8teee: so? just because you like fat girls you can simultaneously make fun of them? explain that logic. so, so silly.
[09:23] dirkbogarde1001: im not making fun of them
[09:23] K8teee: whaling was a term of endearment, for sure
[09:24] K8teee: sounds like something a frat guy would joke with his buddies about. ugh
[09:24] dirkbogarde1001: sure, but those are obese girls, which arent fat, they are unhealthy
[09:24] dirkbogarde1001: too bad im not fat
[09:24] dirkbogarde1001: are you obese?
[09:25] dirkbogarde1001: you must consider yourself obese right?
[09:25] dirkbogarde1001: they all mean the same thing right
[09:25] K8teee: medically, i am obese. i don't feel unhealthy  i exercise and eat right. i just happen to have a BMI that's lame.
[09:27] dirkbogarde1001: if you are obese you are unhealthy
[09:27] dirkbogarde1001: your organs undego undue stress
[09:27] K8teee: we all die sometime.
[09:28] dirkbogarde1001: you're a fucking idiot
[09:28] K8teee: you're such a gentleman!
[09:28] dirkbogarde1001: or 17 with a response like that


----------



## LovelyLiz (Feb 23, 2011)

Ugh. Guys like that are not entirely rare, sadly. They clearly dig the fat girls, but are conflicted about it, and take it out on the fat girls. Did it make you feel shitty afterward, F&P? Those conversations would always get to me, at least a little. Finally I got to the point where as soon as a guy started with the negative comments, or belittling the "wrong kind" of fat women or any kind of women really (even if he talked negatively about thin women), he went straight to block/ignore.


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## joswitch (Feb 23, 2011)

FatAndProud said:


> I think my messages beat your guys' always. I really get the gents. Oh man.
> 
> [08:51] dirkbogarde1001: hi
> [08:56] K8teee: hi
> ...



wtf!?
Dude needs to ask for a refund from that charm school he went to! What a truly epic asshat!


----------



## CastingPearls (Feb 23, 2011)

Awwww Katie, why do you get allllll the weiners..ah I mean winners...no..I mean wieners.


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## FatAndProud (Feb 23, 2011)

What I wouldn't do for a bit o' spoonin' with a sweet man  I don't even care if he's an FA at this point lol


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## snuggletiger (Feb 23, 2011)

wow just wow. The way he put on the ole Charmie. And that whaling term what romancey he possesses. I think the ass hat gave me a headache.


----------



## mossystate (Feb 23, 2011)

I have had a few similar exchanges in Dims chat.  

They usually add a slam about my age...just to make it extra special.

* swoon *


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## snuggletiger (Feb 23, 2011)

I should write some of this stuff down 
"Its gold Jerry pure gold"---Kenny Bania in Seinfeld.


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## FatAndProud (Feb 23, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> Ugh. Guys like that are not entirely rare, sadly. They clearly dig the fat girls, but are conflicted about it, and take it out on the fat girls. Did it make you feel shitty afterward, F&P? Those conversations would always get to me, at least a little. Finally I got to the point where as soon as a guy started with the negative comments, or belittling the "wrong kind" of fat women or any kind of women really (even if he talked negatively about thin women), he went straight to block/ignore.



I don't think these sorts of comments/conversations make me feel shitty afterward. It does, however, make me feel bad for those women who DO feel they aren't worth a good man, and listen to what these types of men say (maybe even take their hurtful words to heart). I pity the fool who falls for these types of men - the men that think they're God's gift to fat women. Please, you aren't doing anything but taking up that side of the bed, dear. That's all a man is good for  jk jk 

Seriously, though. These men do not affect me, anymore. I just brush them off my shoulder and move on. I wasn't even furious about his conversation. I just wanted to share the idiocity, coupled with audacity, that some of these men have. It astonishes me that these so-called "educated" men, whom are supposed to be open-minded/enlightened, can be so hateful/offensive at the same time. I guess it's all part of the real world, huh?


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## aocutiepi (Feb 23, 2011)

Okay, so Valentine's Day apparently brought the weirdos out. This is the exact message I got from one guy (bolding my emphasis because it is an awkward chunk o' text.)



> Where is my dreamgirl?
> We would look tremendously cute together!!
> I like a smart and sexy young chic and you seem to be both.
> You found the perfect guy with all the qualities you desire. It's so hard to find that special person. I can understand why you might try here. I am 6 ft tall, weigh 190 lbs, have a nice smile, brown hair and have blue eyes. What if though your guy would look younger than most 25 year olds? *To me, most people 10 years younger look like 40....so we definitely would look cute together...if you remain as well preserved as I, then I would be one happy guy.* I just turned 38, but look more like 27 (don't let the age bother you). I look as hot as you...and for 38 that is saying a lot...so if you are interested, I will send you my pic. I have the rare combination of youth and maturity. I am clean-cut, well-groomed and sexy. People often say I am both handsome and intelligent. Among other things, I am romantic and know how to treat a woman. What I want is someone with that same philosophy toward mesomeone caring, considerate and willing to please. *I am college educated . I live in Florida. Are you willing to relocate for your dream man/soulmate?* I work in database ops in the Orlando area; I often visit my parents on most every weekends. Hope you are close with your family too. Must be loyal. For fun, I like romantic walks on the beach, swimming, bicycling, snorkeling. I work out at the gym to keep fit and am slim, trim and fit, like gourmet food. I consider myself cultured in relation to art, music and cultural things etc. Love to travel when possible, especially to exotic places. I am an extreme car fan!!! Love cars! What I desire is a young lady with class and style. Someone who is genuine, is sincere, understanding, compassionate, loving, not annoying or demanding; a loyal and dedicated girlfriend to me, someone who is respectful and has morals and values. Should have honest, good and sincere intentions. Also tired of meeting girls who do not want to work...I need someone who will add to my pile and not diminish it...an equal contributor. Life is expensive and in order to save and have a secure future it takes both to build it together. Are you a saver or a spender? Since I realize there is no such thing as the perfect person, I am still seeking that perfect girl for me. One that embodies all the qualities I desire and has all the same core points that I possess. Also be goal-oriented, ambitious and college-educated. And one who is good domestically as I am....neat and clean in the home! Must be financially independent and a hard worker. And a good cook. What is your ethnic background? Yes I do like my girl to be independent but not so much so she does not need loving and does not do whatever she pleases without considering her man....that kind of independent where a woman feels has to exercise her independence I could do without! A couple should work together as a team and always be good to one another. Age 21-35 preferred -
> ...



Okay, so it came like that so I know it was copied and pasted and probably sent out en masse, but...

He just said "I" looked ten years older than I am. He also hoped I would be well-preserved which just reminds me of embalming fluid and corpses... yeck. His college education seems lacking and he must think I'm super desperate and lacking a life of my own to want to relocate to Florida right away! And the debt free part? Best of luck finding someone my age who is completely debt free. College isn't cheap.

But the tooth stuff is straight up weird. Asking me about my previous dental work and how many cavities I've had and talking about kissing my sexy (non-existent) overbite... it's no wonder I'm all in line to have a sensual shower and toothbrushing with you, Craig!


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## CastingPearls (Feb 23, 2011)

Wow. That is ALL kinds of um....wow.


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## aocutiepi (Feb 23, 2011)

Okay, I just confirmed by Google that I'm not the first overbite Craig wanted to kiss, just by pasting in the paragraph about teeth. I feel really disappointed. :sad:


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## CastingPearls (Feb 23, 2011)

"Still think the man needs to lead and do not want a girl who can be submissive."

I'm confused--who gets to wear the frilly apron in this set-up?


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## mossystate (Feb 23, 2011)

That is what I call a Check His Crawl Space kind of man.


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## snuggletiger (Feb 23, 2011)

He's the guy the neighbors are gonna say "I always thought there was something odd about that guy I couldn't put my finger on"


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## aocutiepi (Feb 23, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> "Still think the man needs to lead and do not want a girl who can be submissive."
> 
> I'm confused--who gets to wear the frilly apron in this set-up?



I wondered about that one, too, Casting. My brain hurts.


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## liz (di-va) (Feb 26, 2011)

aocutiepi said:


> Okay, so Valentine's Day apparently brought the weirdos out. This is the exact message I got from one guy (bolding my emphasis because it is an awkward chunk o' text.)


wow. wow! dude really likes teeth. wow.

From today:
(first comment) _are you busy?_
(second comment) _i wish I can marry u in the future lol_

YAY!


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## Blackjack (Feb 26, 2011)

liz (di-va) said:


> wow. wow! dude really likes teeth. wow.
> 
> From today:
> (first comment) _are you busy?_
> ...


----------



## liz (di-va) (Feb 26, 2011)

(_third comment_) i wish i can spank u


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## HeavyDuty24 (Feb 26, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> Ugh. Guys like that are not entirely rare, sadly. They clearly dig the fat girls, but are conflicted about it, and take it out on the fat girls. Did it make you feel shitty afterward, F&P? Those conversations would always get to me, at least a little. Finally I got to the point where as soon as a guy started with the negative comments, or belittling the "wrong kind" of fat women or any kind of women really (even if he talked negatively about thin women), he went straight to block/ignore.




kinda relevant somewhat,but you know one time(and i don't think i will EVER understand this)i sent a girl a nice gentlemenly message on POF one time awhile back,it was harmless.then i later found out she blocked me.i mean wtf seriously? i didn't do anything for her to block me,i mean that was completely uncaused for.lol im not sure what was wrong with her or what she was thinking.i mean once i saw she didn't respond i can get the hint and move on,im not going to keep bothering her. still not sure what that was all about.LOL i got a good laugh over it in the end though.LOL it was kinda funny.


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## mossystate (Feb 26, 2011)

him - so, how old are you

me - 48

him - oh, whoa

me - you must have added me, since you ' knew ' me from Dimensions, and I have never asked to add any men from there

him - oh...sorry



lol....sorry


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## cinnamitch (Feb 26, 2011)

mossystate said:


> him - so, how old are you
> 
> me - 48
> 
> ...




Madam, we are at the stage in life that the only response anyone can make when we say our age is Whoa!


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## mossystate (Feb 26, 2011)

cinnamitch said:


> Madam, we are at the stage in life that the only response anyone can make when we say our age is Whoa!



I know. I know. * hangs head * When will I learn to step aside and allow the younger wimmins to enjoy these assholes.


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## penguin (Feb 27, 2011)

mossystate said:


> I know. I know. * hangs head * When will I learn to step aside and allow the younger wimmins to enjoy these assholes.



No no, feel free to keep the assholes


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## mossystate (Feb 27, 2011)

penguin said:


> No no, feel free to keep the assholes



He felt a need to come back to explain himself ( I guess he thought I was devestated lol ). He likes women in their 20's, so you will have to wait for another asshole. Sorry!


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## Dmitra (Feb 28, 2011)

mossystate said:


> him - so, how old are you
> 
> me - 48
> 
> ...





cinnamitch said:


> Madam, we are at the stage in life that the only response anyone can make when we say our age is Whoa!





penguin said:


> No no, feel free to keep the assholes




One of the reasons I gave up on my recent foray into online dating was the whole, "you're HOW old," (47) deal. Like I should be knitting booties in a creaky old rocking chair instead of scoping out the poor unsuspecting mens. I did get some replies but one of the few was a Nigerian scammer (I win!) so I don't really count him/her/it. It was interesting while it lasted.

OkCupid is all excited about their statistics and I read one that showed the decline in interest for women above age 29 (god forbid any woman 45+ dare show her face). I'm not ready to close my coffin yet but this kind of thing is a little discouraging.


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## Ola (Mar 2, 2011)

lol, I have once again (fairly recently) had a person mistake me for a girl on another forum. I really need to stop blasting posts with pink just for shits and giggles I guess, or maybe I need to put a photo of myself as my avatar... Anyways, the PM was on a Swedish forum, but I'll translate the good bits for the amusement of Dims. 


_Hello,

I have become pretty curious about you! (hope you're a girl/woman)

I am a man from Gothenburg, 37 years and I have always, as long as I remember, loved BDSM!!

I have since my teenage years (almost childhood) loved to subject girls and women to my fantasies.

[The following 15 (yes 15, I kid you not) paragraphs explains in detail "everything he'd like to do to me".]

Do my ideas intrigue you, [name of completely different forum member]?

Write me back!

You can also find me on my email ****@hotmail.com

I am so curious about you...

Write me!

You can also find me on my email (not msn) ****@hotmail.com [same damn address as above]

Hugs!_



Just because I have a morbid fascination with people like this, I created a bullshit hotmail account and gave him the address. 10 hours later I had 5 different emails from him... I never responded, but he's still writing to the damn account... :doh: (I received this PM back in November 2010)


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## cinnamitch (Mar 3, 2011)

Well I just got this little gem sent to me. 

hhow r u doing? well wondering if we can chat over the msn coz i m kind like old chubby women like u i think

I'm so um flattered.


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## LovelyLiz (Mar 3, 2011)

cinnamitch said:


> Well I just got this little gem sent to me.
> 
> hhow r u doing? well wondering if we can chat over the msn coz i m kind like old chubby women like u i think
> 
> I'm so um flattered.



The "i think" is really the icing on the cake...


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## FatAndProud (Mar 4, 2011)

Jpmetz on Dating Websites I love her


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## FatAndProud (Mar 9, 2011)

Hey, I'm not getting made fun of now. I actually just received the best message ever and I'm serious when I say this lol. It definitely beats the a-holes that usually message me  I thought it was slick lol

_Hello how is your day going,I hate to bother you but I need a favor from you. I know you don't know me but this is very important.Can you tell your parents (if they are alive)I love their work, God Knows They Made One Good-looking Daughter When They Made You!Come by yahoo messenger lets chat there my name is xxxxx
_


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## Dmitra (Mar 10, 2011)

FatAndProud said:


> Hey, I'm not getting made fun of now. I actually just received the best message ever and I'm serious when I say this lol. It definitely beats the a-holes that usually message me  I thought it was slick lol
> 
> _Hello how is your day going,I hate to bother you but I need a favor from you. I know you don't know me but this is very important.Can you tell your parents (if they are alive)I love their work, God Knows They Made One Good-looking Daughter When They Made You!Come by yahoo messenger lets chat there my name is xxxxx
> _



Inquiring minds are wondering if you chatted with this guy! He gets an A for originality from me.


----------



## joswitch (Mar 10, 2011)

FatAndProud said:


> Hey, I'm not getting made fun of now. I actually just received the best message ever and I'm serious when I say this lol. It definitely beats the a-holes that usually message me  I thought it was slick lol
> 
> _Hello how is your day going,I hate to bother you but I need a favor from you. I know you don't know me but this is very important.Can you tell your parents (if they are alive)I love their work, God Knows They Made One Good-looking Daughter When They Made You!Come by yahoo messenger lets chat there my name is xxxxx
> _



Scha-mooooth! lolz!

Minus points for incorrect capitalisation, tho' surely?


----------



## FatAndProud (Mar 12, 2011)

joswitch said:


> Scha-mooooth! lolz!
> 
> Minus points for incorrect capitalisation, tho' surely?



Nah, if anything...minus points for referencing G--. lol


----------



## joswitch (Mar 12, 2011)

FatAndProud said:


> Nah, if anything...minus points for referencing G--. lol



But he has a super-special imaginary best friend! Surely a selling point in any suitor?


----------



## liz (di-va) (Mar 17, 2011)

Very first message: "Damn I wish I could be slamming that big a** of yours right now."

Very first line of his profile: "I'm an easy going guy, a gentleman if you will."


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## BigBeautifulMe (Mar 17, 2011)

liz (di-va) said:


> Very first message: "Damn I wish I could be slamming that big a** of yours right now."
> 
> Very first line of his profile: "I'm an easy going guy, a gentleman if you will."


Bahahahahahahaha.


----------



## Blackjack (Mar 17, 2011)

liz (di-va) said:


> Very first message: "Damn I wish I could be slamming that big a** of yours right now."
> 
> Very first line of his profile: "I'm an easy going guy, a gentleman if you will."



Wait, on which site did I send you that message? I forget now.


----------



## liz (di-va) (Mar 17, 2011)

Blackjack said:


> Wait, on which site did I send you that message? I forget now.


I think it was the You Could Call It Impudent But More Appropriately Call It Inappropriate Messaging Board for Those Strongly Moved by the Sight of Ladies of Larger Than Average Size. Great site. Met my first two husbands there.


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## joswitch (Mar 19, 2011)

liz (di-va) said:


> I think it was the You Could Call It Impudent But More Appropriately Call It Inappropriate Messaging Board for Those Strongly Moved by the Sight of Ladies of Larger Than Average Size. Great site. Met my first two husbands there.



This thread is full of win!

roflmylolcatz!


----------



## LovelyLiz (Mar 22, 2011)

Okay, so, this is not internet dating - but I got this message on facebook (and I'm sure several others of you did too!):

_I'm gainer from Poland, I accept the weight gain in any form. If you want to become my friend on fecebook._

Mwahahahahahahahaha....FECEbook. Ew. That was both cracking me up and disgusting me at the same time.


----------



## Aust99 (Mar 23, 2011)

"a ya ur look well"


----------



## cinnamitch (Mar 23, 2011)

Stand back, I have moved into the Big Leagues!

Got this the other day, I am honored


Hi: 
I know u will find it very surprise reading from someone you don t know before ,i am a new member in this dating in a search of friend,also united state army General base in Afghanistan, I saw your Profile while browsing,i write to contact you and see how we can be a good friend to each other,am looking for a good friend if you accept to my friendship.I will tell u more of me and also send you more of my picture or u can can reach me on this my E-mail 
at /*[email protected] 
Gen David Petraeus
*
I am kinda shocked that his grammer isn't better


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Mar 23, 2011)

cinnamitch said:


> Stand back, I have moved into the Big Leagues!
> 
> Got this the other day, I am honored
> 
> ...


AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Okay, that one takes the cake. I am rofling so much right now!


----------



## The Orange Mage (Mar 24, 2011)

I got one that says, "Hi, can we be friends?" from a nice looking young lady with a blank profile other than a picture. This picture totally looks like it was taking during class...in a single-room, run-down single-room classroom in Africa.

I have no clue. I'm gonna reserve judgement for when/if she fills out her profile more.


----------



## liz (di-va) (Mar 24, 2011)

cinnamitch said:


> ...I will tell u more of me and also send you more of my picture or u can can reach me on this my E-mail
> at /*[email protected]
> Gen David Petraeus*


omgnoway! congrats!!!


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Apr 5, 2011)

I just need to vent. BBWDatefinder is driving me batty. Half the responses I get are from men in other countries, and the other half are from men OVER 50. My profile specifically says I'm looking for someone no more than 10 years older. I'm sorry, but if you're in your fifties you are old enough to be my father, and I am NOT interested. And the 65 year old that is sending me a "smile" virtually every day that says "You're hot. Please e-mail me." SERIOUSLY? Seriously?! UGH.


----------



## mszwebs (Apr 5, 2011)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> I just need to vent. BBWDatefinder is driving me batty. Half the responses I get are from men in other countries, and the other half are from men OVER 50. My profile specifically says I'm looking for someone no more than 10 years older. I'm sorry, but if you're in your fifties you are old enough to be my father, and I am NOT interested. And the 65 year old that is sending me a "smile" virtually every day that says "You're hot. Please e-mail me." SERIOUSLY? Seriously?! UGH.



Ha. I have had similar frustration with that website.

The thing that bothers me the most is their "smart match" feature, which keeps assigning me men whose like stops at 'curvy.'

I even emailed them about it, complaining about the fact that seeing as my profile clearly says HEAVY, matching me with someone who wants someone quite a bit smaller than my 440 lbs, does not seem smart at all.

They did reply quickly, but basically I was told that my smart matches are determined on who I 'like' or delete from my smart match set. The problem is that you have to go into their profiles to see what kind of girl they're looking for, if they even bother to fill that part out. I was also told that perhaps an advanced search might be better suited for me. ¤eye roll¤. How about you just come up with technology that actually makes SMART matches?

On top of that, I keep getting a message from this random guy with no picture and the only thing in the message is "How tall are you?"

Hell no, fool. Hell. NO.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Apr 5, 2011)

I'm glad it's not just me. I just put a message at the start of my profile that says basically "If you're over 50, don't bother." lol. I tried to say it nicely, but firmly. Of course most men don't even bother looking at anything other than the photos, so it probably won't do me a bit of good, and will probably make me look like a shallow bitch. Oh well. 

I tend to ignore the SmartMatch e-mails - it appears that that was the right decision, lol. 

You CAN block that guy, you know. I think I might have to do that with Mr. 65-year-old. If he'd e-mail me I could tell him off in return, but no, he's too cheap to do even that, lol.



mszwebs said:


> Ha. I have had similar frustration with that website.
> 
> The thing that bothers me the most is their "smart match" feature, which keeps assigning me men whose like stops at 'curvy.'
> 
> ...


----------



## ValentineBBW (Apr 5, 2011)

Jess/Ginny, I have the exact same problems with datefinder. It is frustrating as hell and I don't think there is a good dating site out there and the ones who have a location preference option are even worse I think, I only get people from other countries. 

But the age thing pissed me off the most. Seriously, old men go find someone your age!


----------



## mszwebs (Apr 6, 2011)

ValentineBBW said:


> Jess/Ginny, I have the exact same problems with datefinder. It is frustrating as hell and I don't think there is a good dating site out there and the ones who have a location preference option are even worse I think, I only get people from other countries.
> 
> But the age thing pissed me off the most. Seriously, old men go find someone your age!



And...Becky/Ginny...can I get a "POST A EFFING PHOTO BECAUSE YOU'RE LOOKING AT MINE, SO GRANT ME THE SAME COURTESY?" Amen?

And don't get all pissed off at me when I say I don't talk to people with no photos either, especially when you're not going to front one.


----------



## mszwebs (Apr 6, 2011)

cinnamitch said:


> Stand back, I have moved into the Big Leagues!
> 
> Got this the other day, I am honored
> 
> ...





How come General David Petraeus never wants to be good friends with ME??


----------



## ValentineBBW (Apr 6, 2011)

mszwebs said:


> And...Becky/Ginny...can I get a "POST A EFFING PHOTO BECAUSE YOU'RE LOOKING AT MINE, SO GRANT ME THE SAME COURTESY?" Amen?
> 
> And don't get all pissed off at me when I say I don't talk to people with no photos either, especially when you're not going to front one.




AMEN x 1000!!! and don't get pissy when I ask for a picture or tell me YOU don't share pics. Come on, really?


----------



## The Orange Mage (Apr 6, 2011)

I got called a punk by a lady. I can't help that despite her cute profile picture that her profile and message(s) made her sound like an emotionless robot, this setting off my "Eh, do no want" sensors. =\


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## J34 (Apr 6, 2011)

cinnamitch said:


> Stand back, I have moved into the Big Leagues!
> 
> Got this the other day, I am honored
> 
> ...



Sounds like a true winner congrats

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-september-11-2007/iraq-me-dave-petraeus
- Always worth a good laugh, sums him up pretty much


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Apr 6, 2011)

mszwebs said:


> And...Becky/Ginny...can I get a "POST A EFFING PHOTO BECAUSE YOU'RE LOOKING AT MINE, SO GRANT ME THE SAME COURTESY?" Amen?
> 
> And don't get all pissed off at me when I say I don't talk to people with no photos either, especially when you're not going to front one.



Amen. I figure in this day and age if they don't have pics they're either: a) closeted, or b) married.


----------



## Heyyou (Apr 6, 2011)

I do believe the craziest first message i ever got was "Hi, how big is your umm?" (exact words, it is.)

Photographing and texting or displaying "the unit" i have never understood this. Same for females.


----------



## CastingPearls (Apr 6, 2011)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Amen. I figure in this day and age if they don't have pics they're either: a) closeted, or b) married.


There's a lurker here who gives me the nicest rep and PMs and when I ask him every now and again who the hell he is (he's never posted in the ten years he's a member) he tells me he can't because it's a matter of national security.


----------



## Wild Zero (Apr 6, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> There's a lurker here who gives me the nicest rep and PMs and when I ask him every now and again who the hell he is (he's never posted in the ten years he's a member) he tells me he can't because it's a matter of national security.



Jack Bauer lurks on Dimensions, you heard it here first.


----------



## Jes (Apr 6, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> There's a lurker here who gives me the nicest rep and PMs and when I ask him every now and again who the hell he is (he's never posted in the ten years he's a member) he tells me he can't because it's a matter of national security.



[i think i know who it is! he's got a skinny exercise-class teacher GF and likes to announce that one once you've rejected him.

WINNING!]

Ladies, I feel for you all. I went through some of this and just couldn't take it. I didn't have enough hair on my chest for the whole thing. Mad props to you. I found my man through the back door (hey now!) and just wouldn't know how to go back to that whole grind. Keep the faith!


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Apr 8, 2011)

lol not a crazy FIRST message but kinda funny.lol i was talking to one girl awhile back we were hitting it of and she seemed pretty cool.anyway she says that she didn't know i was 25,she said she felt i was too old for her and she is 19.is it me or is 19 to 25 not THAT big of an age gap really? i did get a kick out of it,but it made me feel old just for a sec. but a 6 year gap's not too bad,ecspecially in that sense.


----------



## The Orange Mage (Apr 8, 2011)

25 is cutting it pretty close...I follow the "half your age plus seven (round up)" rule for how low a guy can date.


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Apr 8, 2011)

The Orange Mage said:


> 25 is cutting it pretty close...I follow the "half your age plus seven (round up)" rule for how low a guy can date.




well i guess you have a point.lol 25 is 5 years from 30.lol i really felt the age gap wasnt too bad,but i did respect her decsion though.lol


----------



## PamelaLois (Apr 8, 2011)

HeavyDuty24 said:


> lol not a crazy FIRST message but kinda funny.lol i was talking to one girl awhile back we were hitting it of and she seemed pretty cool.anyway she says that she didn't know i was 25,she said she felt i was too old for her and she is 19.is it me or is 19 to 25 not THAT big of an age gap really? i did get a kick out of it,but it made me feel old just for a sec. but a 6 year gap's not too bad,ecspecially in that sense.



My parents met when my mom was 19 and my dad 25. They were married 49 1/2 years til he passed away. That girl might have missed out on something special...


----------



## CarlaSixx (Apr 8, 2011)

I don't believe in that age gap equation. Mind you, I was dating men in their mid 30s when I was 18 and 19 and found them to be way more on my level than those I dated closer to my age. I do feel that someone could miss out if they believe too much in an age barrier.


----------



## FatAndProud (Apr 10, 2011)

This one has me scratching my head....maybe I missed something? I don't know...

Yeah, that subject line pretty much says it all**. *My name is Eric*, I read your profile, and I think we would possibly make a great couple! Check out my profile, if you have any questions or wanna talk, reply to this message, or text me at xxxxxxxxxx, hope to hea from you, sincerely, *Debra Kamindkas*



**Subject line: "you are so beautiful!" (Thanksss!  )


----------



## LalaCity (Apr 10, 2011)

From some guy in NY, to me, in CA. Can we say "form letter?"

*Hello beautiful, what going on, wanted to let you know that your beauty catches my attention. I am here to find my soul mate... I am looking for someone that I can be with for the rest of my life... Someone who will love me for what I am... I am not really that handsome but I am a very understanding person I am looking for a lady that will love me unconditionally!! Who will love me and accept me for what & who I am and not what she would want me to be. PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME ACCORDING TO MY LOOKS. , I also want to let you know that , I am not looking for a scammers, or am I looking for a liars, I am not into playing games or am I looking for a lady to be playing games with me. Please dont ask me for money, coz Im not a bank. If you looking for a rich man with great looks than I am not the one for you. I am also not here to help you lady get your green card as well so dont ask me for help to get your visa or pass port. I am here seeking for a wife. I am family oriented and will always be there for my friends. I always treat woman with the utmost respect. Im an honest, loving, caring guy. Also I am a sensitive guy that can show his emotions, and Im not ashamed to admit it. Just looking for someone to love, someone that will respect my kids, and me and will get the same in return. I am you that person? What I'm looking for... I am looking of that special someone. A woman that likes to be treated like a lady, or even likes a Queen. She must have a good sense of humor Knows how to have fun and to relax. Have a good head on her shoulders and knows what she wants out of life I also hope that this woman would have self-respect. You need to love yourself first b4 you can love somebody else. I hope there is that person out there? I do believe that LOVE, PATIENCE, RESPECT & COMMUNICATION are the best ingredients of a long and lasting relationship. If you looking for a man to give you respect, to be honest with you and be kind, loyal, passionate to you. If you looking for a man to be very romantic and understanding well here I am.*


----------



## J34 (Apr 10, 2011)

Jeez, that is one long as hell message.

I'm guessing that's one of those mass-email responses.


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## CastingPearls (Apr 10, 2011)

LalaCity said:


> From some guy in NY, to me, in CA. Can we say "form letter?"
> 
> *Hello beautiful, what going on, wanted to let you know that your beauty catches my attention. I am here to find my soul mate... I am looking for someone that I can be with for the rest of my life... Someone who will love me for what I am... I am not really that handsome but I am a very understanding person I am looking for a lady that will love me unconditionally!! Who will love me and accept me for what & who I am and not what she would want me to be. PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME ACCORDING TO MY LOOKS. , I also want to let you know that , I am not looking for a scammers, or am I looking for a liars, I am not into playing games or am I looking for a lady to be playing games with me. Please dont ask me for money, coz Im not a bank. If you looking for a rich man with great looks than I am not the one for you. I am also not here to help you lady get your green card as well so dont ask me for help to get your visa or pass port. I am here seeking for a wife. I am family oriented and will always be there for my friends. I always treat woman with the utmost respect. Im an honest, loving, caring guy. Also I am a sensitive guy that can show his emotions, and Im not ashamed to admit it. Just looking for someone to love, someone that will respect my kids, and me and will get the same in return. I am you that person? What I'm looking for... I am looking of that special someone. A woman that likes to be treated like a lady, or even likes a Queen. She must have a good sense of humor Knows how to have fun and to relax. Have a good head on her shoulders and knows what she wants out of life I also hope that this woman would have self-respect. You need to love yourself first b4 you can love somebody else. I hope there is that person out there? I do believe that LOVE, PATIENCE, RESPECT & COMMUNICATION are the best ingredients of a long and lasting relationship. If you looking for a man to give you respect, to be honest with you and be kind, loyal, passionate to you. If you looking for a man to be very romantic and understanding well here I am.*


I guess you're screwed on that green card, huh?


----------



## StaySafeTonight (Apr 11, 2011)

I tried doing the OKcupid thing for a little while, and most of the messages I got were pretty standard: "You like herp?! I like derp!" or "Did you know you look like McCauley Culkin/Owen Wilson/insert blond-haired male celebrity" etc.

But once, I received a good'un. I talked about my efforts of becoming a college professor, and in the message, the girl put herself in the role of a promiscuous student who was willing to offer sexytimes for extra credit. Even went as far to say she was raising her hand to ask questions, and was purposefully acting out in class so she could be punished by me.... erm...

Points for originality, but massive fail on every other front.


----------



## Jes (Apr 11, 2011)

StaySafeTonight said:


> Points for originality, but massive fail on every other front.



Not for me--I'm kinda turned on! When are your office hours?


----------



## CastingPearls (Apr 11, 2011)

Yeah, I'm with Jes on this. That was hot.


----------



## ConnieLynn (Apr 11, 2011)

The Orange Mage said:


> 25 is cutting it pretty close...I follow the "half your age plus seven (round up)" rule for how low a guy can date.



I am so stealing this rule! 

46/2+7=30

That's about right... forget guys in 40s and 50s, going to go for some energetic 30 year olds


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## BigBeautifulMe (Apr 12, 2011)

Got a sweet, reasonably well-written note today from a guy who appeared to be attractive. Only the end of the note said "too bad... I don't think i'm your type, exactly." Wondering what that meant, I went and looked at his profile. At the very end, in the "You should message me if..." section, it says "u want to be furends with a real life furry :3"

And there you have it, folks.


----------



## pegz (Apr 12, 2011)

Neither of these were first messages....but they ended up being the last.

1. Oh you only have a 2 door car? I was hoping for a van. Thought we could pull in the motel parking lot and have at it. 

2. I trap squirrels and move them to other places. I've trapped 78 so far.


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## CarlaSixx (Apr 12, 2011)

Lol, furries are fun 

----
I got a message from someone on a site that said (but shortened to make it neater) : "Wow! You're so sexy! Latina AND huge?! Marry me and squash me, please  "

Um...... :doh:


----------



## Bettie Bomb (Apr 12, 2011)

i got one on POF that said in the title.. 

"I'm not sure but.... "

and the msg said - "I think we both have the same problem. ;-) "


they had deleted their profile before I could ask them what they meant... 

that was just a random weird msg.

the ones that bug me the most are the ones that just say "hi", or some other kind of hello, etc... can they not take the time to put down more than one word?


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## Lamia (Apr 12, 2011)

There was a guy who hung out on AOL's Weight Gain chat back in 1998. He could never remember talking to me and he would ask the same things over and over. "Are your hands manicured?" and "Are you neat and clean?" I had my name listed as Eleanor. He asked me if that was the "white trash" spelling of my name. :doh:


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## Lovelyone (Apr 14, 2011)

does it strike anyone else as odd that all the messages here are from men?


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## LovelyLiz (Apr 14, 2011)

Lovelyone said:


> does it strike anyone else as odd that all the messages here are from men?



Not in the slightest.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Apr 14, 2011)

PamelaLois said:


> My parents met when my mom was 19 and my dad 25. They were married 49 1/2 years til he passed away. That girl might have missed out on something special...



i completely agree! and she was acting like the age gap was like 20 years or something LOL.she said that older people were more serious or something,and i told her im laid back,but she seemed to be set on the age gap,so i said o well she really was the one missing out.LOL i think she blew the age gap out of proportion just alittle.i mean 6 years isn't THAT much you know.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Apr 14, 2011)

CarlaSixx said:


> I don't believe in that age gap equation. Mind you, I was dating men in their mid 30s when I was 18 and 19 and found them to be way more on my level than those I dated closer to my age. I do feel that someone could miss out if they believe too much in an age barrier.



i completely agree Carla! age is just a number,and you really can miss out on alot of great things just by going by the age gap thing.you could be missing out on your soul-mate just because there a couple of years older then you,sad really.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Apr 14, 2011)

StaySafeTonight said:


> I tried doing the OKcupid thing for a little while, and most of the messages I got were pretty standard: "You like herp?! I like derp!" or "Did you know you look like McCauley Culkin/Owen Wilson/insert blond-haired male celebrity" etc.
> 
> But once, I received a good'un. I talked about my efforts of becoming a college professor, and in the message, the girl put herself in the role of a promiscuous student who was willing to offer sexytimes for extra credit. Even went as far to say she was raising her hand to ask questions, and was purposefully acting out in class so she could be punished by me.... erm...
> 
> Points for originality, but massive fail on every other front.




man that was hot,i would have held on to that one! LOL


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## CarlaSixx (Apr 14, 2011)

I received a total winner of a message last night:

Be honest. How nice are those tits without any clothes on? 
--------

yeah, safe to say, no reply is being given. He comes off as a total health nut who's looking for the same, so I won't even give him the satisfaction of a reply.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Apr 17, 2011)

I just got 5 messages in less than ten minutes (not chat messages, inbox messages) from a 22-year-old guy whose nickname includes "stupid lover" (not giving the whole thing so as to protect the not-so-innocent). I never responded once, yet he kept sending them, one right after the other. Here you go:

#1: would you help me ????????? 

#2: if i told you wont believe me i am dying for having abbw and your perfect i would love to feel your body against mine dont think that i am awho i might be but your build drive me crazy please let me feel every square inch your body *i am very good looking and i can have as many chicks as i want but ...gay people love to have gay people lesbian like girls and i am dying for abbw and your fucking body is awesome* let me feel that i will send you apic if you send your phone number 

#3: i t will not be one night stand i promise and you will never regret it .....age is just number please 

#4: please come on now i wish i would come see you now i would lick every square inch in this hot gorgeous body till i pass out 

#5: i am not gonna begg you any more this is the last try if you dont feel comfy with giving your number out here is my email address i am online if you would like to chat there i wont wait there for long .and its not gonna that you would find would treat the way i would add me on yahoo at [a sex-related username] 

The bolded part of #2 is the most WTF thing EVER.

After all this, my only response was: Sorry dude, but your username is apt. Not at all interested. Thanks. [*block*]


----------



## cinnamitch (Apr 17, 2011)

Email i received today
_
Hi I saw your picture while surfing tru dis site and i was greatly attracted, you look beautiful, far more than your age, i'm amazed at how i suddenly liked you even though i dont even knw yuh, I am here to find the woman for me, i want to find that ryt woman who can fill a major space in my heart, i dont know what you think but i like yuh. If you do not mind, i wanna knw yuh beta mi lady_

amazed how suddenly he liked me huh? I am amazed he could spell well enough to type "dating site" on Google


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## CleverBomb (Apr 17, 2011)

[email protected]

This statement of FAness was brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department, with additional underwriting by the National Ego Advisory Board. 

-Rusty


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## penguin (Apr 17, 2011)

I just got an email from OKCupid, one of those "someone chose you on quickmatch!" ones, where there's 9 profile pictures and apparently one of those users rated me a 4/5. I got REALLY skeeved out, because one of them was of Martin Bryant. Oh yeah, THAT'S a turn on. *shudder*


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## LovelyLiz (Apr 17, 2011)

penguin said:


> I just got an email from OKCupid, one of those "someone chose you on quickmatch!" ones, where there's 9 profile pictures and apparently one of those users rated me a 4/5. I got REALLY skeeved out, because one of them was of Martin Bryant. Oh yeah, THAT'S a turn on. *shudder*



That quickmatch feature cracked me up when I was on OKCupid, because it is never really a mystery, because you can look in the history of people who've viewed you recently and, VOILA! there's one of the guys in the photos.


----------



## The Orange Mage (Apr 18, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> That quickmatch feature cracked me up when I was on OKCupid, because it is never really a mystery, because you can look in the history of people who've viewed you recently and, VOILA! there's one of the guys in the photos.



There's also a cool trick where you can switch your "What I'm Looking For" in your profile to some strange and specific age range different from your own, and it'll show all THOSE people PLUS whoever QuickMatch'd you, so they'll be easier to spot. Works good when the person who QuickMatch'd you is set to browse anonymously and won't show up on your visitor list.


----------



## J34 (Apr 20, 2011)

Interestingly enough I got a message today, as usual its a simple "Hey, whats up". Well I go and check out her profile thinking to myself if she has any interests or something I can relate to. All I got was a profile saying how she wants "kids" at least 5 times. With some emotional drama thrown in for good measure. Interests ranged from (mall, tv, beach).

Hmm.... I don't know she gave a pretty convincing argument there


----------



## joswitch (Apr 20, 2011)

Lovelyone said:


> does it strike anyone else as odd that all the messages here are from men?



Not all (scroll back a few pages) just almost all!


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## joswitch (Apr 20, 2011)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> I just got 5 messages in less than ten minutes (not chat messages, inbox messages) from a 22-year-old guy whose nickname includes "stupid lover" (not giving the whole thing so as to protect the not-so-innocent). I never responded once, yet he kept sending them, one right after the other. Here you go:
> 
> #1: would you help me ?????????
> 
> ...



Oh, come now! #4 is surely higher on the creepo-meter?
He will lick you until he passes out!

Who doesn't want someone licking you for hours until they blackout? (from dehydration I guess)
That's every woman's fantasy! surely?


----------



## AuntHen (Apr 20, 2011)

joswitch said:


> Oh, come now! #4 is surely higher on the creepo-meter?
> He will lick you until he passes out!
> 
> Who doesn't want someone licking you for hours until they blackout? (from dehydration I guess)
> That's every woman's fantasy! surely?



and this could be cross posted because I am sure she would need a drink after he was done with all that licking (he might need one too)  hahaha


----------



## LalaCity (Apr 27, 2011)

With charmers like these it's a wonder I'm single:

*Subject: RE: just here to energize u with love
Date: 26-Apr-2011 *

*Hi darling, i hope you are absolutely well and you had a nice Easter celebration as well. How is your sex life ? are getting it full throttle? Is your man capable of making you to reach orgasm at all times?Do like to be sucked and fingered? Do like to ingest sperm?
Bye*




EW EW EW.


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## The Orange Mage (Apr 27, 2011)

Holy hell that's a winner.

I mean, not only the smooooth slide from Happy Easter to disjointed fuckery, but is there a more unsexy word than "ingest?"


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Apr 27, 2011)

LalaCity said:


> With charmers like these it's a wonder I'm single:
> 
> *Subject: RE: just here to energize u with love
> Date: 26-Apr-2011 *
> ...



LMAO funny alot of the guys sending messages can't even type right.LOL


----------



## The Orange Mage (Apr 27, 2011)

Oh yeah, I totally had a 57 year old dude message me at FF...nothing too bad aside from him not even reading a damn thing before doing so. I think the account might be a spambot thing anyways.


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## LalaCity (Apr 27, 2011)

The Orange Mage said:


> ... is there a more unsexy word than "ingest?"



Vomit, maybe? "After I ingest your passion for me I'm going to vomit my love all over you, babe."




HeavyDuty24 said:


> LMAO funny alot of the guys sending messages can't even type right.LOL



Tel me abuot it!


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## CastingPearls (Apr 27, 2011)

LalaCity said:


> With charmers like these it's a wonder I'm single:
> 
> *Subject: RE: just here to energize u with love
> Date: 26-Apr-2011 *
> ...


You know, I think you're really splitting hairs (ew) but give the guy points for at least spelling 'ingest' correctly......darling. LMAO


----------



## LalaCity (Apr 27, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> You know, I think you're really splitting hairs (ew) but give the guy points for at least spelling 'ingest' correctly......darling. LMAO



Ha, you're right. My standards are just too dang high. :doh:


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Apr 27, 2011)

LalaCity said:


> Tel me abuot it!



haha yes,sometimes that is an indicator that something could be up.but there are those times were the spelling may not be so good and the person still means well.LOL


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## FatAndProud (Apr 27, 2011)

LalaCity said:


> With charmers like these it's a wonder I'm single:
> 
> *Subject: RE: just here to energize u with love
> Date: 26-Apr-2011 *
> ...



I'm surprised he didn't ask you to tickle his butthole...it'd only be appropriate.


----------



## AuntHen (Apr 27, 2011)

LalaCity said:


> With charmers like these it's a wonder I'm single:
> 
> *Subject: RE: just here to energize u with love
> Date: 26-Apr-2011 *
> ...



At least he started out inquiring after your well being and (honestly) went straight to what he really wanted to know. People don't want games, so you knew exactly where he was heading and was about


----------



## Lamia (Apr 27, 2011)

just beware of the ones who ask "would like me to jam my ova-depositor down your throat and lay my eggs in your chest?"


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## CastingPearls (Apr 27, 2011)

Lamia said:


> just beware of the ones who ask "would like me to jam my ova-depositor down your throat and lay my eggs in your chest?"


Oh those are the love affairs that just tear you apart, just....kill you. *sobs*


----------



## Lamia (Apr 27, 2011)

I know it's the sort of love that rips your heart out.


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## Blackjack (Apr 27, 2011)

Lamia said:


> I know it's the sort of love that rips your heart out.



It's the sort of love that bluh balrg OH GOD breeeeeeeeeack!


----------



## Lamia (Apr 27, 2011)

Blackjack said:


> It's the sort of love that bluh balrg OH GOD breeeeeeeeeack!



*sniffle* that really brings back memories of watching that in my humanoid birthing class back on Clipflaj 5 human torsos are the best environment for young snoodlings.


----------



## FatAndProud (Apr 29, 2011)

There's been a few messages between this guy and I...(so, technically this isn't a crazy internet first message...), but he wants to take me out for a beer. However, I've never met the guy...this is Detroit...and I don't wanna die. lol I'd much rather go to a coffee shop or something, ya know? Am I the only female that feels this way with complete strangers? lol


----------



## LillyBBBW (Apr 29, 2011)

FatAndProud said:


> There's been a few messages between this guy and I...(so, technically this isn't a crazy internet first message...), but he wants to take me out for a beer. However, I've never met the guy...this is Detroit...and I don't wanna die. lol I'd much rather go to a coffee shop or something, ya know? Am I the only female that feels this way with complete strangers? lol



No, a lot of people feel like this. I don't know why I always meet guys who want to meet someplace near my house, so that we might head back there after and he can do his business.  Talking with me is merely a formality. But I digress. Just tell him you prefer coffee. I can't imagine that he would get upset about that. It's cheaper even. Sure he wont be able to get you hammered and stammered at Lucky D's but that only behooves him to make sure the place you go serves REALLY good coffee and scones.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Apr 29, 2011)

This was completely out of the blue - never said a word to him before, nor he to me:



Bigoted Asshole said:


> What's your diet like? Do you calorie count? At your size, if you dropped to about 2700 cals a day, the weight would fall off and you wouldn't be starving yourself.



From his pic it would appear he is a steroid-popping body builder.

Check out what it says in his profile:



> "The most private thing I'm willing to admit: I CANNOT watch the obese eat. Literally causes me to vomit. Same as watching a heroin addict shoot up."



And the very first line of his "You should message me if" section says:



> I despise the overweight, so if you don't give a crap about your body, don't message me.



Bigoted fatphobe or severely-closeted FA? Place your bets.

I want to know why, if he despises fatties so much, he was looking at my profile to start with... much less to the point that he messaged me. (Though he clearly didn't READ it or he'd know I LIKE being fat. idiot)


----------



## LovelyLiz (Apr 29, 2011)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> This was completely out of the blue - never said a word to him before, nor he to me:



Ugh. Those are the worst. What an a-hole of the grandest kind. I remember getting a few unsolicited fat-hate messages from time to time, like someone offering condolences for my obvious "food addiction." 

So when's the date with this eligible Romeo? I can't imagine why he's still single!


----------



## FatAndProud (Apr 29, 2011)

I will stand by the fact that meatheads are insecure in their own way. Sure, they look "nice" to others, but the reason they workout is because they care SO much about what others perceive them as....sad existance if you ask me!

I'm not saying that ALL people that workout are like that...but you can tell a confident bodybuilding guy from a gym rat.


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Apr 29, 2011)

FatAndProud said:


> I will stand by the fact that meatheads are insecure in their own way. Sure, they look "nice" to others, but the reason they workout is because they care SO much about what others perceive them as....sad existance if you ask me!
> 
> I'm not saying that ALL people that workout are like that...but you can tell a confident bodybuilding guy from a gym rat.




yes.people that work out for others are missing the whole point of bodybuilding itself,those types sadden me,they don't do it for the "art" of bodybuilding,there just looking to "score" chicks,there missing the whole point of the greatness of bodybuilding done in the right way...bodybuilders already get a bad rap of being "dumb" in that aspect,there are many intelligent bodybuilders,even some with degrees,etc.to know your bodys anatomy,what portion intake works best for you,and to add up and count caloric intake you have to have some kind of sense.lol


----------



## CastingPearls (Apr 29, 2011)

Random Facebook message:

You Have an Angle Face Very cute !! was about to pass but i thought commenting and ask you for an Add request if it's okay !!?



Angle. I thought it was more roundish but okay.


----------



## penguin (Apr 29, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> Angle. I thought it was more roundish but okay.



It's because you're acute.


----------



## joswitch (Apr 30, 2011)

penguin said:


> It's because you're acute.



Now, now, you're just being obtuse. Anyone can see that Elaine has an equilateral appeal.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 30, 2011)

joswitch said:


> Now, now, you're just being obtuse. Anyone can see that Elaine has an equilateral appeal.



I have to see pics of Elaine's nekkid arse before I can really decide......


----------



## lalatx (Apr 30, 2011)

Random facebook message.... "I want to put you in a box and keep you forever."

WTF???

My reply... "While staying in a box forever sounds temping I prefer not to be confided to a tiny deathtrap."

Yes I am a sarcastic jerk at times.


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Apr 30, 2011)

lalatx said:


> Random facebook message.... "I want to put you in a box and keep you forever."
> 
> WTF???
> 
> ...



sometimes sarcastic messages require sarcastic answers. it's the own person's fault for leaving a message like that.LOL


----------



## CastingPearls (Apr 30, 2011)

penguin said:


> It's because you're acute.







joswitch said:


> Now, now, you're just being obtuse. Anyone can see that Elaine has an equilateral appeal.







Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I have to see pics of Elaine's nekkid arse before I can really decide......



I suck so badly at taking pics of my tush that there's only one in existence and but the lucky devil who saw it claims it's a 'very nice pooper' and his opinion is more than satisfactory. LMAO However, I AM considering doing the over the shoulder thong peep that's becoming quite popular on another thread.


----------



## penguin (Apr 30, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> However, I AM considering doing the over the shoulder thong peep that's becoming quite popular on another thread.



YES. YOU MUST.


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Apr 30, 2011)

penguin said:


> YES. YOU MUST.




i totally agree. O.O


----------



## WVMountainrear (Apr 30, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> I suck so badly at taking pics of my tush that there's only one in existence and but the lucky devil who saw it claims it's a 'very nice pooper' and his opinion is more than satisfactory. LMAO However, I AM considering doing the over the shoulder thong peep that's becoming quite popular on another thread.





penguin said:


> YES. YOU MUST.



I'm a trendsetter now. I must bask in the glow of the moment.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (May 1, 2011)

Be sure to post that pic of your arse in this thread CP


----------



## Deacone (May 1, 2011)

I've had a lot of people say to me

"you have two tongue piercings? want to use that on me? "

AS a FIRST message.

It's about as subtle as a brick to the face. >_<


----------



## LadyDeelicious (May 1, 2011)

there's been far too many for me to recall them all, the two that are the most memorable are...

#2 it went something like.....Sounds like your looking for a FWB, i'm engaged but she ain't giving it up until were married, is that good for you



#1 most memorable....While you're looking for Mr. Right, how 'bout I lay it to you...


----------



## SuperMishe (May 3, 2011)

Last night I got a message on Yahoo:

Igor: can I lick your ass and pussy?

Me: You're disgusting - get lost

Igor: What? you don't like sex?

Me: Blocking you!


I mean really? Seriously? Does that work for him?? :shivers: ugh...


----------



## liz (di-va) (May 5, 2011)

New low. Two responses from a guy, one of which was an _annotated_ copy of my ad. Little notes about how he thought things I wrote boded well for the future, etc. ANNOTATED.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (May 5, 2011)

liz (di-va) said:


> New low. Two responses from a guy, one of which was an _annotated_ copy of my ad. Little notes about how he thought things I wrote boded well for the future, etc. ANNOTATED.


And 20 minutes later we both figured out we got messages from the same guy, sections of which were copied and pasted to both. lolol


----------



## lalatx (May 5, 2011)

The joys of POF... 

Idiot "I want to lick you" 
Me "I usually do not share this until a bit of small talk has occurred but you seem like a person I can tell my desires to. I want to stab you."


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (May 6, 2011)

lalatx said:


> The joys of POF...
> 
> Idiot "I want to lick you"
> Me "I usually do not share this until a bit of small talk has occurred but you seem like a person I can tell my desires to. I want to stab you."




POF has annoyed me for a VERY long time.lol it's getting crazy.i am having more luck with OKC.POF is the same folks over and over again too,some people just get me frustrated on POF sometimes.talked to a great gal on POF yesterday,now she's acting all funny towards me for no apparent reason.yeah,that's POF for you.


----------



## Tania (May 8, 2011)

I never save the weird shit so I can't share anything verbatim, but suffice it to say I'm probably the only woman who's ever been randomly solicited by a male sub looking for a domme...wait for it...on eharmony. 

I mean, I'm not a domme, but even if I happened to be...eharmony! Good GRIEF. In retrospect, I should have referred him to collarme. Which itself is probably the biggest and best source of inappropriate first messages in the entirety of daterspace.


----------



## penguin (May 9, 2011)

Tania said:


> In retrospect, I should have referred him to collarme. Which itself is probably the biggest and best source of inappropriate first messages in the entirety of daterspace.



Oh man, ain't that the truth!! My profile on there has been hidden for a while, but when it was active, boy oh boy, I got all sorts of crap coming in.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (May 9, 2011)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> And 20 minutes later we both figured out we got messages from the same guy, sections of which were copied and pasted to both. lolol



UGH. Okay, I no longer feel bad about sharing this guy's messages. 

*This is what he sent me originally:* 



> subject: writing again [interesting since I think this is the first message I've gotten from him?]
> 
> message:
> 
> ...



*Now, today's message (five days later):*




> subject: writing again
> 
> message:
> 
> ...




No, I didn't make a copying and pasting error. He sent me literally the same exact copied-and-pasted message as he did five days ago with only a few small changes.  What a genius.


----------



## LillyBBBW (May 10, 2011)

Ad-blasting must be common on a dating sites. A guy has written me four times so far, same letter, looking for a Dominant woman. The last letter had a mean parting shot about how he will ignore any woman who responds to him without a photo and some code words in the message header. He's quite the catch.


----------



## Kamily (May 10, 2011)

I had a guy message me the other day and ask if I would piss in his mouth.  

The other one said he liked girls who love to keep in shape and exercise daily. I told him apparently he hadnt bothered to look at my profile or my pics. :doh:


----------



## LillyBBBW (May 10, 2011)

Kamily said:


> I had a guy message me the other day and ask if I would piss in his mouth.
> 
> The other one said he liked girls who love to keep in shape and exercise daily. I told him apparently he hadnt bothered to look at my profile or my pics. :doh:



I was going to suggest that it might be a scam-bot post but you never know. Someone was just on here the other day scolding 400+ pound women that we should alight effortlessly along miles of mountain trails like faeries for his sake. I nearly choked on my caramel chocolate sundae when I read that.


----------



## asmiletoday (May 10, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> However, I AM considering doing the over the shoulder thong peep that's becoming quite popular on another thread.



I don't like I could ever do that. I'll just pretend I did by living vicariously through you. lol

Ps. somewhat related, but not really.. where do you people online date? Never really tried it out.


----------



## mszwebs (May 10, 2011)

This isn't a message, but it's an annoying thing that I find has been happening lately.

Sending someone a "smile" of some kind on a dating website, and then following it up with a message saying hi, once they smile back.

Most recently, my message was saying hi, etc., and making polite - but short - conversation because it was over the holiday this weekend.

I get a message back that gives me his Yahoo name, to chat. Which is WAY more convenient anyway. I add him. A few hours later he adds me back. And then nothing.

Now. Before anyone is like, "Jess, it's been less than 24 hours," I'm not concerned about this guy and of course will give him an appropriate time frame lol. I'm just using him as the most recent example.

HOWEVER. I have gone back and forth with guys via PM on some of these dating websites and have mutually agreed to add each other to Yahoo, and they never friggin talk. Never even appear online.

Why add someone if you have no intention of talking to them? I mean, if you're talking via a private message of some kind, then just tell them you don't want to continue talking, or even just STOP RESPONDING...rather than take the time and effort to suck up my Yahoo space.

I'm just so annoyed with guys who add you and then don't talk or appear online. I'm not trying to waste your time, so don't waste mine.

Sorry. Slightly off topic rant, but it applies in some weird way. Promise lol.


----------



## Kamily (May 10, 2011)

asmiletoday said:


> I don't like I could ever do that. I'll just pretend I did by living vicariously through you. lol
> 
> Ps. somewhat related, but not really.. where do you people online date? Never really tried it out.



Plenty of fish is one. But be prepared for a lot of weirdos and lots of booty call offers.


----------



## joswitch (May 10, 2011)

Tania said:


> I never save the weird shit so I can't share anything verbatim, but suffice it to say I'm probably the only woman who's ever been randomly solicited by a male sub looking for a domme...wait for it...on eharmony.
> 
> I mean, I'm not a domme, but even if I happened to be...eharmony! Good GRIEF. In retrospect, I should have referred him to *collarme*. Which itself is probably the biggest and best source of inappropriate first messages in the entirety of daterspace.



^Ooooh, I hadn't heard of that before... Maybe I'll try that out...


----------



## J34 (May 11, 2011)

mszwebs said:


> This isn't a message, but it's an annoying thing that I find has been happening lately.
> 
> Sending someone a "smile" of some kind on a dating website, and then following it up with a message saying hi, once they smile back.
> 
> ...



Well it seems like he didn't make his intentions clear, perhaps he wants to network? I have been at the other end where you exchange numbers and talk for a number of weeks and then they(women) disappear


----------



## mszwebs (May 11, 2011)

J34 said:


> Well it seems like he didn't make his intentions clear, perhaps he wants to network? I have been at the other end where you exchange numbers and talk for a number of weeks and then they(women) disappear



You know, it does suck when people disappear on you, and I'm sorry that has happened to you.

However, when your interaction with someone includes them telling you at some point that they think you're "hot," if all their doing is networking, then they probably want to try another angle lol.

But whatevs. I'm awesome, and whoever chooses not to find out for themselves will never know what they're missing lol


----------



## Jes (May 11, 2011)

mszwebs said:


> Why add someone if you have no intention of talking to them? I mean, if you're talking via a private message of some kind, then just tell them you don't want to continue talking, or even just STOP RESPONDING...rather than take the time and effort to suck up my Yahoo space.
> 
> .



My thoughts:

I think it's just the same old shit (collecting phone numbers and not using them) but just in a different medium.

It can be a sport or hobby for some (ear tagging, anyone?), and a way to feel better about himself for others ('all of these women would talk to me if I ever decided i wanted to talk to them!'--you get this with married guys alot. They probably wouldn't ever cheat, but they need the ego boost of knowing there are women who'd bone them if they ever decided to look around. They want to know they 'still got it' and you can't know that in a vacuum, you have to find proof). I suspect a lot of the time they're building a black book of sorts so that if woman 1, 2 and 3 that they're pursuing isn't interested, they still have a crop of applicants to get back to. 

When I was doing the online game, there'd often be a guy who came on heavy and then--boom, nothing. And one day, I just outright asked a guy: So, you bailed for a solid 3 weeks and then boom, you're suddenly back. Let me guess: the woman you were pursuing wasn't interested, so now you're back in the trenches, right? And he admitted I was exactly right. It was actually funny to me, b/c I'd expected some bullshit denial from him, but he was like: Yup, that's exactly what happened. Can I call you?

He's just not that into you, but he wants to feel better about his studliness and he wants to exert power and control (even if he's not uberconscious of that fact) over other people.

The nice thing is that jerky people usually find it hard to cover up that fact for any length of time, so at least it's easy for you to weed them out from people you'd actually be interested in!


----------



## mszwebs (May 11, 2011)

Jes said:


> My thoughts:
> 
> I think it's just the same old shit (collecting phone numbers and not using them) but just in a different medium.
> 
> ...



Very true, Jes. 

It's just frustrating to have encountered 3 such people in a row. I'm at the point where I suspect every single person of not being human.


----------



## Blackjack (May 11, 2011)

mszwebs said:


> I suspect every single person of not being human.



Fuck, she's onto me


----------



## FatAndProud (May 11, 2011)

mszwebs said:


> I'm at the point where I suspect every single person of not being human.





Blackjack said:


> Fuck, she's onto me



This song seems appropriate for this moment. Sorry. Do not view if you are offended easily.


----------



## AmazingAmy (May 12, 2011)

> _fat here
> 
> Hoe r u ? me 458_



And I won't need to say who it was from, because I doubt I'm the only person that got it.


----------



## darlingzooloo (May 12, 2011)

This thread made me lol because I just deleted my OKC account yesterday because I was sick of creepers. 

Some of the more memorable messages were:
1. Cute face...hot body. (That's all he wrote! ; )

2. A man who kept sending me messages for four days in a row without one response from me, he was basically having a convo with himself. 

3. a....MAN.......who wrote like....ThIS.


----------



## randomjenerator (May 13, 2011)

Ok, I will admit that I was an ass to this guy, but this was after a slew of similarly incomprehensible messages. I am pretty honest in my profiles about how I find a basic concept of grammar important and appealing. Not perfection, but you know what I mean. My friends dubbed this _The Ballad of Slow Chris_, and yes I do have my ticket to hell tucked safely in my hand basket. 

Chris's subject line: my name chris

Chris: I'm so depressed rigth now Just Now 
no one want date me couse how i look sweetie not even you that hurt my feeling that my look stop me being with someone

Me: I think it's your grammar. Sorry.

Chris: i'm a what sweetie

Me: Slow. 

Chris:what wong with that it not abot that it about who can make you happy and be honest to you and be fathful and never broke your heart that all and only need to matter to you sweetie

Me: Actually, that's all you need. However, I'm looking for something else. Good luck in your search.

Chris: so you want a guy that lie to you and not fathful will dump you seen he get what he want that what you looking for

Me: No. I want a guy that I can converse with that knows how to use punctuation. There is a difference.

Chris: what about me you hate

Me: I don't hate you, I don't even know you. However, I can ascertain by our conversation that we would not be compatible. Take care. 

After that he gave up.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (May 13, 2011)

randomjenerator said:


> Ok, I will admit that I was an ass to this guy, but this was after a slew of similarly incomprehensible messages. I am pretty honest in my profiles about how I find a basic concept of grammar important and appealing. Not perfection, but you know what I mean. My friends dubbed this _The Ballad of Slow Chris_, and yes I do have my ticket to hell tucked safely in my hand basket.
> 
> Chris's subject line: my name chris
> 
> ...



He didn't give up. He's still thumbing through a dictionary trying to figure out what "ascertain" means.


----------



## J34 (May 13, 2011)

randomjenerator said:


> Ok, I will admit that I was an ass to this guy, but this was after a slew of similarly incomprehensible messages. I am pretty honest in my profiles about how I find a basic concept of grammar important and appealing. Not perfection, but you know what I mean. My friends dubbed this _The Ballad of Slow Chris_, and yes I do have my ticket to hell tucked safely in my hand basket.
> 
> Chris's subject line: my name chris
> 
> ...



When I read this the first thing that popped into my mind was Forrest Gump

Forrest: Why don't you love me, Jenny? I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is.


----------



## FA Punk (May 13, 2011)

J34 said:


> When I read this the first thing that popped into my mind was Forrest Gump
> 
> Forrest: Why don't you love me, Jenny? I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is.



No I disagee it's more like...''french fried potaters''


----------



## luvbigfellas (May 13, 2011)

Most of the messages I've gotten of this sort have been along the lines of:

Ur hot, wanna fuck?

Are you 16, 'cause you look 16. That's hot.

One, I can't even think about anyone who doesn't at least attempt proper grammar and punctuation. Two, really? Do you honestly think I'm going to want to meet someone who apparently wants children? Ew!


----------



## caroldiego (May 14, 2011)

liz (di-va) said:


> "do you have alot of people wanting to worship your ass???"
> 
> Very first msg; not even a "hi hun" first from this one. I'm mostly offended that he didn't capitalize the "D."  BOOO.


Your record for cracking me up stands unchallenged!


----------



## caroldiego (May 14, 2011)

"Rest assured, I will not be responding! LOL!"

Seems as though he just had to vent, then.


----------



## caroldiego (May 14, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> Ummmm....it's been a few years but I recall a few:
> 
> Marry me.
> 
> ...


I don't even want to know what that agricultural project might be. Really.

Do these dudes have any inkling that they are reinforcing the stereotype of men who like big women as somehow mentally and morally flawed? Probably don't care, but they make it just that much harder for the sincere ones to be taken seriously. Argh.


----------



## FA Punk (May 14, 2011)

If a guy says ''You have a pretty mouth''...RUN!


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (May 14, 2011)

my name is [edited] i live in [edited] have my own place and car. i love big beautiful woman it is more cusin to the pushing. i will treat u like u never been treated before. i love singing, reading and going to the movies. hour first date will be i will cook u dinner and seeing a movie to gether. god create everyong equll. i am 33yrs old. i am kind,honest and will take care of u. i listen to all kinds of music. i have never been with a woman for a long long time. i would like to go out with a girl and hope that u or someone will give me a chance.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (May 14, 2011)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> my name is [edited] i live in [edited] have my own place and car. i love big beautiful woman it is more cusin to the pushing. i will treat u like u never been treated before. i love singing, reading and going to the movies. hour first date will be i will cook u dinner and seeing a movie to gether. god create everyong equll. i am 33yrs old. i am kind,honest and will take care of u. i listen to all kinds of music. i have never been with a woman for a long long time. i would like to go out with a girl and hope that u or someone will give me a chance.


... so let me get this straight. You think I'm the kind of girl that will meet you at your apartment on our first date despite never having met you... you haven't been with a woman for a long time, so clearly you are a catch and a half... and you don't really care WHO it is you're with, you're just hoping I OR ANYONE ELSE ON EARTH will give you a chance.

How could I possibly resist that invitation?!?!


----------



## CastingPearls (May 14, 2011)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> it is more cusin to the pushing.



He also might be a wee bit too close to some of his relatives too......::snicker::


----------



## OIFMountaineer (May 15, 2011)

I received a message from a then recently-added "friend" on facebook that went something like this:

"hey babee yur so cute n funnee id let u put a baby in me" :doh:

Yeah.... I want my gene pool polluted by someone who can't spell. 

I don't know how you ladies deal with it on a regular basis.


----------



## CarlaSixx (May 15, 2011)

We deal with it on a regular basis on here in the PMs, too.


----------



## Aust99 (May 15, 2011)

CarlaSixx said:


> We deal with it on a regular basis on here in the PMs, too.



What's a girl got to do to get these kinda pm's??? 



Thinking of venturing back into the world of Internet dating so watch this space... Might be able to contribute a more quality post to this thread soon.


----------



## FatAndProud (May 15, 2011)

OIFMountaineer said:


> I received a message from a then recently-added "friend" on facebook that went something like this:
> 
> "hey babee yur so cute n funnee id let u put a baby in me" :doh:
> 
> ...



Totally using that as a pick-up line for guys, from now on....."Mmm, you're hot enough to put a baby inside me"


----------



## FA Punk (May 15, 2011)

FatAndProud said:


> Totally using that as a pick-up line for guys, from now on....."Mmm, you're hot enough to put a baby inside me"



And be like cooooool but can I put something else inside you instead? I'm sorry but I don't have a baby at the moment. And I wonder why I'm single


----------



## Tania (May 15, 2011)

Another (almost) first message pet peeve.

Guys, don't ask a girl to call you the second she responds to your introductory message. Phone calls (and phone numbers) are REALLY personal, so it's rude and presumptuous to expect that a girl who doesn't know and like you to take that step before several in-depth written exchanges (not chat). Internet dating sites utilize anonymous email systems for very good reasons, and you're dreaming in idiotland if you expect a total stranger to risk their shit for you just because you think you're awesomeking. 

The bottom line: INVEST, motherfuckers.


----------



## OIFMountaineer (May 15, 2011)

FatAndProud said:


> Totally using that as a pick-up line for guys, from now on....."Mmm, you're hot enough to put a baby inside me"




Looking back, I almost wish I had said "But I didn't think you could get pregnant from anal?"


----------



## darlingzooloo (May 15, 2011)

Thought of another one today, a young man once messaged me on OKC and just said "I hope you don't just date white boys." :doh:

Considering I find people from all different ethnic backgrounds attractive, I found this rather insulting.


----------



## FatAndProud (May 15, 2011)

I've noticed that a lot of Muslim men contact me. They're cute, too  Educated, smart, sexy...wooo wee lol

Now, hear me out. I'm not a jerk and I do not discriminate...however, I know that religion doesn't sit well with me (as I'm atheist). I don't want to be like "there's no chance in hell with you, sir, because you are religious", but I also don't want to have such a prominent part of someone's life to be conflicting on both sides. Does that make sense? What to do? Besides, would a Muslim man really be interested in a white, atheist woman? lol I guess so  Perhaps, they don't read my profile lol


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (May 15, 2011)

> mmm... u look like an all-I-can-eat buffet



....

hahahahahahahahahahhahahhaha. WOW. What a winner.


----------



## Kamily (May 15, 2011)

OIFMountaineer said:


> Looking back, I almost wish I had said "But I didn't think you could get pregnant from anal?"




LMAO! Good one.


----------



## SuperMishe (May 16, 2011)

Just got this offline message... Is it me, or is this an edited copy of a conversation he had with someone else and sent to me via yahoo messenger? I have no idea who this is/never spoke to him before.....


*HisUserName* (8:05 PM): Hope you had a nice weekend. Mine was ok.I went for a ride with a plutonic friend yesterday and we ended up at the Mill restaurant in Westmister,Ma.. It has reasonable prices,excellent food and big portions and a nice relaxing setting. A windy river through rocks goes right under the restaurant.
*HisUserName* (8:06 PM): Today I watched Nascar and worked on my filing job I do from home.
*HisUserName* (8:07 PM): I'm on social Security disability due to anxiety issues ,but have been doing better.
*HisUserName* (8:08 PM): I like big girls(its not a contest or anything, but my biggest gf was about 550 lbs) and my second wife was about 350 lbs.
*HisUserName* (8:09 PM): I especially like nice lady's that are supportive,caring,reasonably intelligent and have a good sense of humor.
*HisUserName* (8:14 PM): I'd kind of like to become onlnie friends first, but then see what happens. I'm definately single and not dating anyone.I have been living at my family ome the last 3 years as i deal with the anxiety problems. I live with my sister and Mom. I've been doing a lot of yard work and cleaning out utility sheds and the 2 basements the house has. We ar getting another dumpster tomorow and i'm hoping to fill tathat this wek and next. Also there are some branches I'd like to prune.
*HisUserName* (8:16 PM): ok, i'm probably telling you to much. If interested it would be great to hear from you!

*****
I told him I wasn't interested.... he wasn't rude at least, but really - not the way to introduce yourself to someone...


----------



## CastingPearls (May 16, 2011)

SuperMishe said:


> I went for a ride with a *plutonic friend*




*iz ded* seriously dying laughing here


----------



## luvbigfellas (May 16, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> *iz ded* seriously dying laughing here



Apparently, his friend is from Pluto. And...doesn't the word "platonic" imply "just a friend"?


----------



## penguin (May 16, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> *iz ded* seriously dying laughing here



Maybe he was referring to their size!


----------



## CastingPearls (May 16, 2011)

penguin said:


> Maybe he was referring to their size!


I was thinking she was radioactive. HAWT!


----------



## CastingPearls (May 19, 2011)

Hi Elaine,you look good .Wat's the *secrete *of your beauty ??lol wish to be in acquaintance with ya cos i got attracted to your captivating pics ... can't wait to read from ya ... 



Um.....I *ooze* charm?


----------



## LalaCity (May 19, 2011)

So sick of these dipshits that don't make any effort. 

*Him: "Good person."*

*Seeking: "Same."*

They think that's^^ clever by way of filling out a profile.

Then they send you an effing form letter: 

*"Hi. Your profile caught my eye. If you want to chat my Yahoo ID is blahdy blahdy blah."*

*hate hate*


----------



## LalaCity (May 19, 2011)

FatAndProud said:


> I've noticed that a lot of Muslim men contact me.



The dating website I subscribe to might as well be called "Endless stream of letters from middle-aged men from Dubai."


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (May 19, 2011)

LalaCity said:


> The dating website I subscribe to might as well be called "Endless stream of letters from middle-aged men from Dubai."



Let me guess... BBWDatefinder. lol


----------



## FatAndProud (May 19, 2011)

Well, I am in Detroit. That's primarily the population here. However, DON'T MESSAGE AN ATHEIST. lol


----------



## CleverBomb (May 19, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> Hi Elaine,you look good .Wat's the *secrete *of your beauty ??lol wish to be in acquaintance with ya cos i got attracted to your captivating pics ... can't wait to read from ya ...
> 
> 
> 
> Um.....I *ooze* charm?


It's because of the ex you date. 

-Rusty


----------



## FatAndProud (May 20, 2011)

"Can I be your boy toy tonight?" Yes, yes you can. However, I play rough with my toys.


----------



## OIFMountaineer (May 21, 2011)

IC that I lurk this thread, to see if I made anyone's Hall of Shame.

Paranoia, thy name is OIFMountaineer.


----------



## CarlaSixx (May 21, 2011)

First message:

I see you say you're a BBW. I happen to be a BBW, too.
Big
Bad 
Wolf!

And I could just eat you right up! Get back at me.

-----------

While I never heard that one before... still... _**shudder**_

He was something like 62 years old, too.


----------



## PamelaLois (May 21, 2011)

CleverBomb said:


> It's because of the ex you date.
> 
> -Rusty



He'll be here all week, try the fish and tip your waitress...........


----------



## Lovelyone (May 22, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> Hi Elaine,you look good .Wat's the *secrete *of your beauty ??lol wish to be in acquaintance with ya cos i got attracted to your captivating pics ... can't wait to read from ya ...
> 
> 
> 
> Um.....I *ooze* charm?



Hah,ha, ha I received this exact same message on Facebook with my name in place of yours. Love those form letter copy and pasters. They are so clever...NOT!


----------



## hiddenexposure (May 22, 2011)

FA Punk said:


> If a guy says ''You have a pretty mouth''...RUN!



duly noted

what if they ask to squeeze you nose because that has actually happened.


----------



## PamelaLois (May 22, 2011)

hiddenexposure said:


> duly noted
> 
> what if they ask to squeeze you nose because that has actually happened.



shoot first, then run


----------



## spiritangel (May 23, 2011)

I got these two gems from the same man 

Do you know that you would look great with two pounds less ... in my opinion those clothes weigh exactly two pounds!

and

If your heart was a prison, I would like to be sentenced for life. Is that love I see in your eyes, or merely a reflection of mine?


I have not responded to either but eeep too full on why do guys think all we want to hear on dating sites is your the one for me cant we get to know each other first and let life take its natural course? like seriously


I will admitt the two messages made me cringe and laugh at their absolute no chance in helledness wonder how many women these lines work on?


----------



## Dmitra (May 23, 2011)

After trying and abandoning dating sites I finally get my first, honest to Gosh, Crazy First Message on OPEN SALON of all places. Sheesh. Here's me sharing and enjoying. lol I am so excited about my "newlover," land sakes.


NICE TO MEET YOU,
Reply Forward
lovee to Maria @
NICE TO MEET YOU,

here is my privet email ([email protected])

How are you today, Hope all is well with you and your family? My name is Miss Mada Nechwa. However it really pleases me to write you for a lovely and sincere friendship even if we havent met or seen each other before. I will so much appreciate to see your reply soon so that i can send you my pictures and know more about ourselves.
I shall appreciate an urgent response from you, because i have something to discuss with you.
With lots of love from your newlover,

Miss Mada Nechwa.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (May 23, 2011)

Again, no contact with this person EVER before. This is his first message:

"I want to see you naked. Is this possible?"

My answer: No. No it is not.


----------



## Aust99 (May 23, 2011)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Again, no contact with this person EVER before. This is his first message:
> 
> "I want to see you naked. Is this possible?"
> 
> My answer: No. No it is not.



WTF???? :doh:


----------



## Littleghost (May 23, 2011)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Again, no contact with this person EVER before. This is his first message:
> 
> "I want to see you naked. Is this possible?"
> 
> My answer: No. No it is not.



You should've tacked on to that: "Tragic really, my clothes are grafted permanently to my skin."


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (May 23, 2011)

Littleghost said:


> You should've tacked on to that: "Tragic really, my clothes are grafted permanently to my skin."



I almost did. Get out of my head.


----------



## TheNowhereMan (May 23, 2011)

"I like your profile, but umm what is the age of consent in your state?"

yeaah.. no >_>


----------



## liz (di-va) (May 23, 2011)

TheNowhereMan said:


> "I like your profile, but umm what is the age of consent in your state?"


bwah!......


----------



## TheNowhereMan (May 23, 2011)

liz (di-va) said:


> bwah!......



Yeah... that was a weird one >_>


----------



## FatAndProud (May 23, 2011)

TheNowhereMan said:


> "I like your profile, but umm what is the age of consent in your state?"
> 
> yeaah.. no >_>


----------



## one2one (May 24, 2011)

Him: Hi! You're hot
Me: Thank you
Him: So how big are they?
Me: How big are what?
Him: You know 
Me: I hope I'm not misunderstanding but are you seriously asking me how big my breasts are?
Him: Well we live so far away we'll probably never meet. What else are we going to talk about?
Me: Have a good night.


----------



## semtex81 (May 24, 2011)

Her: Hi. I was just wondering why you stopped talking to me. I thought we were getting along well, and kinda felt a connection with you. Then you just shut me out. That was really rude of you. You need to learn better manners. Can you just tell me why you treated me like that, when I had been nothing but nice to you. YOU OWE ME THAT MUCH.

I had never talked to her before, so I did not reply. The next day she re-sent the same message.

Crrrraaaazy.


----------



## b0nnie (May 25, 2011)

From OKCupid

"_*not going to lie...i would so fuck you*_ "


----------



## AmazingAmy (May 25, 2011)

Nothing crazy about the amount of "Hi, how are you?" messages I'm getting. Quite the opposite, in fact.

So. Fucking. Sick. Of. Them.


----------



## joswitch (May 25, 2011)

AmazingAmy said:


> Nothing crazy about the amount of "Hi, how are you?" messages I'm getting. Quite the opposite, in fact.
> 
> So. Fucking. Sick. Of. Them.



C'mon interwebZ! Bring out your weirdos, your huddled fappers, yield unto Amy teh entertainment of your crazy!


----------



## AmazingAmy (May 25, 2011)

joswitch said:


> C'mon interwebZ! Bring out your weirdos, your huddled fappers, yield unto Amy teh entertainment of your crazy!



Please do! Huddled fappers with conversation skills, I'll be your bitch!


----------



## spiritangel (May 25, 2011)

ok this is the message title

Subject: Hi there, I'm the match of your dreams


and are you ready for this this is the message


I'm going fishing...


not to mention a very miffed guy on POF who doesnt understand why I diddnt get back to him after asking me to dominate him and erm yeah you get the idea lol


----------



## AmazingAmy (May 26, 2011)

spiritangel said:


> ok this is the message title
> 
> Subject: Hi there, I'm the match of your dreams
> 
> ...



LOL, a rather demanding submissive!

- - -

I'm currently bemoaning more short, unconstructive messages from guys who don't appear to have a personality. It's even worse when they're drop dead gorgeous. There's this one on FF who I spoke to a couple of months back, absolutely beautiful, awesome hair, glasses, dress sense... but he had NOTHING else to him. Every topic of conversation I broached was ignored, replaced instead by a request to eat eat eat for him .

And now he's messaged me again. And I actually bothered to reply - and got the same dull crap back - all because of his pretty new picture. :doh:


----------



## luvbigfellas (May 26, 2011)

Hi Gorgeous!!! You are HOT!!! Would like to know the possibility of seriously getting to know you!!! Write me immediately!!! 

........Um, considering I have posted nothing but a picture of my face, you cannot possibly know that. Two, if you do know me, please clue me in.

I would expect this from someone who knows me, 'cause this is common. But, you don't know me, thus...can't say I'm terribly interested in continuing a conversation with you. NEXT!


----------



## coriander (May 28, 2011)

OK, so this is from about 2 years ago, but I still remember it: "Hey beautiful, wanna fuck tonight?"
...from a guy who described himself as "very well-endowed" in his profile. Also, he had a flippy hairdo. Vaguely Farrah Fawcett-ish. Just a big hell no.


----------



## b0nnie (May 28, 2011)

PoF:

"*u uh.. like anal?*"

:doh:


----------



## spiritangel (May 28, 2011)

why do you think brittney spears shaved her head


my response

seriously? that is old news, who cares and its her head she can do what she wants

weirdly I never heard back from him ..................................lol


----------



## mossystate (May 28, 2011)

b0nnie said:


> PoF:
> 
> "*u uh.. like anal?*"
> 
> :doh:




In these situations, I like telling them I have a huge dildo I would love trying out on/in them. That's when I get the, " ew, that is disgusting ". Funny how a woman's rectum is somehow different from a man's.  Oh, don't you love sexually stupid men.


----------



## b0nnie (May 28, 2011)

mossystate said:


> In these situations, I like telling them I have a huge dildo I would love trying out on/in them. That's when I get the, " ew, that is disgusting ". Funny how a woman's rectum is somehow different from a man's.  Oh, don't you love sexually stupid men.



I had messaged him back asking if he liked it up his ass...lol.


----------



## OIFMountaineer (May 28, 2011)

mossystate said:


> In these situations, I like telling them I have a huge dildo I would love trying out on/in them. That's when I get the, " ew, that is disgusting ". Funny how a woman's rectum is somehow different from a man's.  Oh, don't you love sexually stupid men.




Be careful, someone, some time, is gonna call your bluff on that one. 

And, a woman's is different, because girls don't poop.


----------



## pegz (May 28, 2011)

OIFMountaineer said:


> Be careful, someone, some time, is gonna call your bluff on that one.
> 
> And, a woman's is different, because girls don't poop.



ok..that made me laugh.... thank you soooo much


----------



## joswitch (May 28, 2011)

b0nnie said:


> I had messaged him back asking if he liked it up his ass...lol.



Ahahahaha! I know this one dude who once said to me:

"I like to get with chicks who are still virgins"

Me: "Why?"

"Cos I can take them back to mine and get them to put on the strap on and do me up the bum - I just tell them it's normal and this is how everyone does sex."

I'll bet there were a few second boyfriends out there got a shock later!


----------



## mossystate (May 28, 2011)

OIFMountaineer said:


> Be careful, someone, some time, is gonna call your bluff on that one.
> 
> And, a woman's is different, because girls don't poop.



Oh...wouldn't matter. Trust me...I would still find a way to make him really uncomfortable. It's a gift.


----------



## LovelyLiz (May 28, 2011)

joswitch said:


> Ahahahaha! I know this one dude who once said to me:
> 
> "I like to get with chicks who are still virgins"
> 
> ...



I would venture to guess that "boyfriend" was probably not a title the sender of a message like the one bonnie posted was really hoping to attain...


----------



## luvbigfellas (May 28, 2011)

joswitch said:


> Ahahahaha! I know this one dude who once said to me:
> 
> "I like to get with chicks who are still virgins"
> 
> ...



I had a boyfriend once who liked having vibes up his butt to get himself off. He thought it would bother me. My response was that it wasn't even close to the strangest thing I'd heard. In fact, it was pretty normal.


----------



## LovelyLiz (May 28, 2011)

luvbigfellas said:


> I had a boyfriend once who liked having vibes up his butt to get himself off. He thought it would bother me. My response was that it wasn't even close to the strangest thing I'd heard. In fact, it was pretty normal.



I wasn't saying boyfriends as a rule don't want this - people are into all kinds of things, which is a-ok with me. I was just saying that someone who sends that as an introductory message is likely not looking for a real relationship, in my experience.


----------



## luvbigfellas (May 28, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> I wasn't saying boyfriends as a rule don't want this - people are into all kinds of things, which is a-ok with me. I was just saying that someone who sends that as an introductory message is likely not looking for a real relationship, in my experience.



I guess that would be one of those, "Wow, hey, little too much info considering we just started talking literally five seconds ago" kind of things.


----------



## b0nnie (May 29, 2011)

I had to put it on here anyways....lol...sorry guys
*him:* u uh.. like anal?
*me:* do you like it up your ass?
*him:* no why would i ask you if in fact i liked it makes no sence duh
*me:* never ask a girl for something you arent willing to do yourself...it makes sense.
*him:* what the **** do u have a****r u trying to say you want to make love to my ass couse im not down like that
*me:* nope, i'm not at all interested...i just wanted to see if you would realize how stupid it is to ask a complete stranger if they like it up the ass.
*him:*ok well you big ass aint worth my time sooo bye
*me:* Sucks to know that you got rejected by a fat chick, huh? 
LOL...byebye now.
*him:*rejected haa you are funny i seem to be the one doing the rejecting fatty i can do better than you any day i thought id have pitty on the ugly and let you be on my goodside but noe you are not soooo bye once agine do not reply back or you might not like what i have to say

:doh:The sad part is that my life is soo boring right now that I kept answering him just to kill time. :doh:


----------



## OIFMountaineer (May 29, 2011)

mossystate said:


> Oh...wouldn't matter. Trust me...I would still find a way to make him really uncomfortable. It's a gift.



And it's that gift that makes me want to meet you. Bum play can be negotiated.


----------



## KHayes666 (May 31, 2011)

b0nnie said:


> I had to put it on here anyways....lol...sorry guys
> *him:* u uh.. like anal?
> *me:* do you like it up your ass?
> *him:* no why would i ask you if in fact i liked it makes no sence duh
> ...



Would you kindly point out who said that to you, I'd like to fire him.


----------



## TraciJo67 (May 31, 2011)

KHayes666 said:


> Would you kindly point out who said that to you, I'd like to fire him.


 
Uh, Hayes? I think she handled it.


----------



## mossystate (May 31, 2011)

OIFMountaineer said:


> And it's that gift that makes me want to meet you. Bum play can be negotiated.



Either way, you better have a lot of money.


----------



## Lamia (May 31, 2011)

ohh I just remembered a crazy conversation I had with a stranger a couple of years ago. 

He kept asking me if I ever thought about sex with my brother....seriously...He was German and he kept telling me about his fantasy of doing his sister and that incest should be legal.


----------



## FatAndProud (May 31, 2011)

Lamia said:


> ohh I just remembered a crazy conversation I had with a stranger a couple of years ago.
> 
> He kept asking me if I ever thought about sex with my brother....seriously...He was German and he kept telling me about his fantasy of doing his sister and that incest should be legal.



German, 'nough said  lol jk


----------



## Lamia (May 31, 2011)

FatAndProud said:


> German, 'nough said  lol jk



the only reason I remembered he was German was that's why I was talking to him in the first place. I was trying to practice my crappy deutsch.


----------



## FatAndProud (Jun 1, 2011)

Lamia said:


> the only reason I remembered he was German was that's why I was talking to him in the first place. I was trying to practice my crappy deutsch.



He was trying to practice kinky German pr0n. Ask our resident German, Blockie. lol


----------



## spiritangel (Jun 1, 2011)

i got a 

r u into webcams


I did not bother responding

then like a day later


damn u r so hot u get me horny


my response

umm seriously take the fact I did not respond to the first message as a hint I am totally not interested!!

and I got back a yeah whatever 


seriously you expect me to be grateful for you wanting to have cam sex with me wow I am overjoyed at the prospect of never speaking to you again 

needless to say I did not bother responding to his yeah whatever lol


----------



## ValentineBBW (Jun 1, 2011)

Received this gem today...does this work for anyone?:huh:



> Hi Angel,Am wondering what a creature you are that your profile is such an electrifying one that can even caught the attention of a blind man. Can i just know the entrance that lead to your precious heart and i am telling you the whole truth that no other Man can tell you that i will make you not to ever regret why it took you this long for someone like me to come around. I want to believe that asking your hands in friendship will make you to be the happiest Woman in this part of generation and who knows even in some generations to come. just give me a chance to move a mountain and i will prove to you that i am simply Man of my own words,Hit me back soon,Are you coming for the Vegas Bash???


----------



## bella929 (Jun 1, 2011)

Stranger: what up?
Me: hi, sorry...who's this?
Stranger: "******"
its all good
to be straight im not sure who you are, however i saw you on and I wanted to figure it out
Me: lol! i'm bella929 from DIMs
i'm guessing that's where you know me from?
Stranger: correct
im just chilling and looking for a good conversation to be honest
Me: lol cool
Stranger: 
good, as you could probably imagine i prefer bbws, but im not the biggest person when it comes to looks
Me: lol...what is that supposed to mean?
Stranger:
i think too often people put to much on looks while they over look persaonlity
don't get me wrong looks have there place, but i think a good personality is better

-end of convo-

Ok...I'm all for getting to know people and chatting online, but I've got to say this was kind of an awkward start. Was he trying to say he didn't mind talking to me because I'm not good looking-BUT that's alright because he's "not the biggest person when it comes to looks"? I'm probably totally misunderstanding him, but he left me pretty confused ahahaha...


----------



## CastingPearls (Jun 1, 2011)

I think he's alluding to the notion that he himself might not be considered conventionally attractive. GO CONFIDENCE! YAY!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Jun 4, 2011)

spiritangel said:


> i got a
> 
> r u into webcams
> 
> ...



Ooo Ooo free penis! 

Hellz yeah you should be grateful to the extreme.


----------



## CleverBomb (Jun 4, 2011)

spiritangel said:


> my response
> 
> umm seriously take the fact I did not respond to the first message as a hint I am totally not interested!!
> 
> ...



If you'd actually responded to the "yeah whatvever" with the "seriously you expect...again" quote, you might have in fact won the internets. It's still a great line. 

-Rusty


----------



## spiritangel (Jun 4, 2011)

CleverBomb said:


> If you'd actually responded to the "yeah whatvever" with the "seriously you expect...again" quote, you might have in fact won the internets. It's still a great line.
> 
> -Rusty



haha Rusty I think I love you


----------



## hiddenexposure (Jun 5, 2011)

upon a friends suggestion i decided to get this iphone app called "howaboutwe" 

you fill in a profile put in a suggestion of something to do and someone responds.. just my luck i got the most desperate man alive 

*Dude man*: Hey how are you 

*Me*: I'm well, how are you? 

*Dude man*: Fine and you 

*Dude man*: I would love to get to know you 

*Dude ma*n: So you would like to go see Hangover 2 

*Dude man *: My name is johntay call me or text if you are interested (then leaves his number) 

He sent me all these messages within seconds of each other and I never responded beyond "I'm well, how are you?"


----------



## SarahLaughsAlot (Jun 5, 2011)

i got so many idiotic messages and sometimes it was from people who didn't even know how to put words together. like example 

"u look good, how u do it today, hit me sometime up babeee" 

wtf, if i was your high school i would ask for my diploma back!


----------



## activistfatgirl (Jun 6, 2011)

3rd message, after me not showing a lot of interest a few months ago:

"id nom that snatch"


OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHGAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWD!


----------



## liz (di-va) (Jun 6, 2011)

activistfatgirl said:


> "id nom that snatch"


Heheheheheh. HEH! I laughed.


----------



## cherrysprite (Jun 6, 2011)

bella929 said:


> Stranger: what up?
> Me: hi, sorry...who's this?
> Stranger: "******"
> its all good
> ...




I have also gotten this. More than one past boyfriend has looked me straight in the eyes and said looks really don't matter to him. I understand that their intention is good, but REALLY?!?! This is not what a girlfriend wants to hear. I also got, "I don't care what anyone says, I think you are beautiful." WTF! I just want to tell the guy, "Stop talking, just stop. You are really not helping yourself here." :doh:


----------



## liz (di-va) (Jun 11, 2011)

Another new low [first message]:

"wow 
that's a lot of ass 
no offense but i hope it's not exit only"


----------



## Chimpi (Jun 11, 2011)

liz (di-va) said:


> Another new low [first message]:
> 
> "wow
> that's a lot of ass
> no offense but i hope it's not exit only"



Well, for all his misgivings, he sure hits the exit door quickly. 
Out of yer life, knowhatImsayin'


----------



## mel (Jun 11, 2011)

liz (di-va) said:


> Another new low [first message]:
> 
> "wow
> that's a lot of ass
> no offense but i hope it's not exit only"



Oh lawdy! <rolling my eyes> 

It really makes ya wonder about people..lol


----------



## Carrie (Jun 11, 2011)

liz (di-va) said:


> Another new low [first message]:
> 
> "wow
> that's a lot of ass
> no offense but i hope it's not exit only"


Jeez, lady. He said "no offense", didn't he? 

:batting:


----------



## LovelyLiz (Jun 12, 2011)

Carrie said:


> Jeez, lady. He said "no offense", didn't he?
> 
> :batting:



It is kind of hilariously ironic how "no offense" is totally code for "what I am about to say or have just said is absolutely offensive."


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Jun 15, 2011)

Dude's First Message said:


> I like to go to the movies and hang out with my family and friends. I like fishing and camping, and going to a baseball game. AND I LIKE TO WATCH TV, AND PLAY WITH MY Wii and I like to TRAVEL AND I LIKE TO GO OUT TO DINNER, I LIKE TO HANG OUT. I RIDE HORSE I HAVE TWO DOGS AND I AM FUNNY.



I ALSO REALLY REALLY LIKE THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON. 

OH, AND I ALSO BELIEVE IN RECYCLING... THINGS THAT I'VE WRITTEN.



Dude's Profile said:


> i am 23 years old. I like to go to the movies and hang out with my family and friends. I like fishing and camping, and going to a baseball game. AND I LIKE TO WATCH TV, AND PLAY WITH MY Wii and I like to TRAVEL AND I LIKE TO GO OUT TO DINNER, I LIKE TO HANG OUT. I RIDE HORSE I HAVE TWO DOGS AND I AM FUNNY. and . I am half belgin and half american and speak
> french and english


----------



## Chimpi (Jun 15, 2011)

So you're saying that Dude is interested so much that he actually Copy and Pasted his profile into a private message to you?

Ace.


----------



## lalatx (Jun 16, 2011)

Apparently this week is my week to get random messages from people I do not know facebook. 

“I want to know you in the biblical sense.” - Oddly enough this is not the 1st time I have gotten a message like this and it kind of worries me that 2 different people have said this. One should not reference anything biblical when attempting to woo someone, period.

“You have crazy eyes, I want to stare into them.” - Why yes my eyes are an odd color that one rarely sees, I get comments about them all the time. But telling someone their eyes look crazy online or in person is never a good thing.. ever. 

“I want you to see my dick and tell me if you think it is big or small.” - Really dude, really? I will tell you it is small just to fuck with you. 

“I love the thickness.” - While there is nothing wrong with expressing this at all one should learn to put more effort than 4 words into a message. 

“I want to motorboat your twins.” I am glad that you noticed that my breasts are glorious, but you will never get to see them you imbecile. 

“Why you no like me?” - This the 1st message ever received from this person and they think I do not like them. This is what I can only assume is a poorly thought out ruse. I doubt it ever works. 

Moral of this little post… It is fine to hit on someone, but please put a little effort into it and have some class.


----------



## CastingPearls (Jun 16, 2011)

lalatx said:


> “I want you to see my dick and tell me if you think it is big or small.” - Really dude, really? I will tell you it is small just to fuck with you.
> 
> 
> “Why you no like me?” - This the 1st message ever received from this person and they think I do not like them. This is what I can only assume is a poorly thought out ruse. I doubt it ever works.



Both of these guys seem to be hitting up EVERYONE.

The first guy WANTS you to tell him he's got a teenie-weenie weiner. It's turns him on. He's into internet flashing and being humiliated. And worse. 

The second guy--LOL first message EVER from him was the same and when I stupidly responded to him that I didn't even know him he went into the whole 'Let's do sexy cam times' spiel.


----------



## penguin (Jun 16, 2011)

I don't know whether to feel slighted or relieved that I don't get these sorts of messages on facebook


----------



## hostesshoho (Jun 16, 2011)

OMG theses posts are all so hilarious!!! 

I wanted to share one of my latest messages, I deleted it I had no idea I was going to see a post like this... short version he was telling me he HAS to wear boxers for obvious reasons... I never responded but I was thinking dear lord you are that huge how do you wear jeans? 

Some people are so funny!


----------



## Steph78 (Jun 16, 2011)

LOL...this thread is great! 

I've had some crazy ones over the years, but here is best of the worst:

Guy: So, you have any pets? 
Me: Yes, dogs. 
Guy: Me too. 
Guy: Wanna know the one thing dogs can do better than any human?
Me: Sure, what?
Guy: Lick p***y. You should try it.
Me: *DELETE NOW. Runs away from computer screaming.*

And yes, still traumatized...LOL.


----------



## CarlaSixx (Jun 16, 2011)

Message I got today, from someone in a far away city:

"ur hot
Wanna b my girlfruen?
btw u have a br0other?"

Umm... Wut? :huh:


----------



## LalaCity (Jun 16, 2011)

_Hello cute I was glancing through profiles when your fascinating and Tender looking face pecked my Interest that allowed me to contact you.And I must admit that you're ravishingly beautiful. Your beauty pecked my Interest also and you wouldn't tell me that you're still single.am chavez am here to meet new friends just want to know if there is people out there the feat me.You look so Attractive my heart stick to your profile that is why am written you now.i will like to know if you are interested im me..i will like to be your friend even more that your best friend..lol..just to prove funny.
can't wait to hear from you....send me you personal email address so we can contact our self from there..i will like to have that so things can get easier to get more about our self...this is my own personal email address...(chavez----------------)

Hope to hear from you soon.._

Just to prove funny!


----------



## b0nnie (Jun 18, 2011)

Steph78 said:


> LOL...this thread is great!
> 
> I've had some crazy ones over the years, but here is best of the worst:
> 
> ...





After reading that I think I don't mind messages like this one that I just got on PoF:


Him: I am coming to lafayette for 11 days to see family... Wanna mess around? haha


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Jun 19, 2011)

Wow... I really hope this guy isn't the type to try to track me down outside of a dating site... he's creepy and my response was, shall we say, less than kind. 
------------------
His first message (6/10):
_
Hey. How are you doing tonight? I was hoping we could start a conversation. Speak of many things, like life, sports. art, cooking, whatever is on the menu that is your mind. Anywho, I have a interview tomorrow and could use the distraction.
Hope to hear from you soon._

Second message (6/10 also):

_By the way I find absolutely adorable with your cute little curves and that smile. _

-----------------

His first message had me rolling my eyes at the "I could use the distraction" part. Oh joy, thank you so much for that opportunity.  Needless to say, I didn't respond. 

Then, tonight, I sign on to several messages waiting from him:

Message #1 (6/19)
_Hey you.
_
Message #2 (6/19 again)
_When do I get the pleasure to make your acquaintance? _

Message #3 (6/19 yet again)
_Hey, why don't you give me a call at [edited out phone number] sometime?_

Message #4 (6/19 again -- seriously, dude...)
_Hi. I'm [edited name], how are you doing? I am fine. I apologize if I seem a bit persistent, it is part of my nature. I just really like what I see in your profile and in your smile. I'd love to get more acquainted with you if you free some time. Please let me know. I just well, your figure is grabbing my attention very intently, along with your creative intelligent side. Please let me know if I should continue or stop pursuing you. Cause I am not a mind reader, not a yet at least. _

At this point I look at his profile again to make sure he's the same creepy guy that messaged me last week... he is. Then I get another message:

Message #5 (6/19 again... ugh)
_Well you keep checking out my profile, which can only mean that I intrigue you.
_
-----------------

*Finally I had enough and I responded:*

Dude, here's a tip:

If a woman doesn't respond to your first message... she's probably not interested. However, it's okay to send a polite message a week or so later to see if she just missed it... However, it's NOT okay to KEEP SENDING MESSAGES when she has never once replied to you. That goes way past "persistent" and makes you look really, really creepy. Then telling her she must have been intrigued by you because she looked at your profile? That just makes you look arrogant. I looked at it because I couldn't remember who you were... if I would have had any interest in you or agreed to go out with you, you killed it with message after message tonight. Welcome to my block list.


----------



## ConnieLynn (Jun 22, 2011)

LalaCity said:


> _...pecked my Interest... _


_

This is now in my vocabulary! 

"Hey sugar, can I peck your interest?"_


----------



## Lamia (Jun 22, 2011)

CarlaSixx said:


> Message I got today, from someone in a far away city:
> 
> "ur hot
> Wanna b my girlfruen?
> ...



uh oh sounds like the weirdo who kept asking me if I ever wanted to have sex with my brother and that incest was awesome.


----------



## TexasTrouble (Jun 22, 2011)

I love this thread. The romantic in me wants to believe there's a lid for every pot, but if that's true, there are some weird as sh!t pots out there!


----------



## PhatChk (Jun 25, 2011)

I just got this one...romantic isnt he?!

Subject: *big girl fu***r masturbator*



hey babe not gona lie your gorgeous! mm your pictures are getting my d**k so hard i love big girls!!!! =)

l**** 



:sigh: :doh::doh:


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Jun 26, 2011)

your beautiful. my name is sean using a friends profile. 35 blk male 6ft1 235 handsome. relationshp. [Phone number edited out]


My thought process as I'm reading: "Using a friend's profile? He's probably in a... Oh. Relationship. Well there you go!"


----------



## LillyBBBW (Jul 2, 2011)

PhatChk said:


> I just got this one...romantic isnt he?!
> 
> Subject: *big girl fu***r masturbator*
> 
> ...



'The hell!!?!! Why do so many men think these are good communication skills?


----------



## CastingPearls (Jul 3, 2011)

Um. I'm just gonna leave this one right here. 

nice dear <> hope to be well <> sorry , i says somthings to u <> have uu senses , feelings ?? i had sent uu 2 nice mesgs.. , why not reply in YES , NO ?? lilies or not to be afriends <> hope do uu <> thanks <> memooo >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


----------



## PhiloGirl (Jul 3, 2011)

lol And I _was_ disappointed that nobody PMs me!


----------



## Diana_Prince245 (Jul 3, 2011)

I don't know if this has been posted on here yet (and yes, I'm too lazy to go looking), but I love  this website  dedicated to bad online dating messages/profiles/IMs.


----------



## Gingembre (Jul 3, 2011)

Diana_Prince245 said:


> I don't know if this has been posted on here yet (and yes, I'm too lazy to go looking), but I love  this website  dedicated to bad online dating messages/profiles/IMs.



Hahaha! I hadn't seen that site before, so if it has been mentioned I missed it. Thanks for the link.


----------



## Diana_Prince245 (Jul 3, 2011)

Gingembre said:


> Hahaha! I hadn't seen that site before, so if it has been mentioned I missed it. Thanks for the link.



Thanks! It makes me feel less weird after the penis pictures and entirely too detailed big girl sex fantasies I seem to be getting as online dating messages these days since clearly a lot of girls are getting the weirdness these days.


----------



## Carrie (Jul 3, 2011)

Can I just say? Tired sexual puns in dating ads are just plain icky. I'd like to see someone write a program that would make any jokey references to "cunning linguist", "master baiter", "cum" instead of "come", and "a hard man is good to find lolzzzzzzzz" cause the writer's computer to spontaneously explode. 

Not that I, ahh. Feel strongly or anything.


----------



## mossystate (Jul 3, 2011)

Nothing too unusual ( unfortunate that it is not unusual )...just a message from a friend of a friend on FB, who is not a friend of mine - " why don't you have any full shots of your body...don't be ashamed just because you are fat...let me see, sweetheart ".

Let me get right on that for you...loser.


----------



## PhatChk (Jul 6, 2011)

Got this today:


hey i'm j***, j/w how tall are you and what size shoe do you wear? lol hopefully i'll ttyl

:doh::doh:

I have to say this the first time a boy asked me for my shoe size ^_^ lol


----------



## Blackjack (Jul 6, 2011)

PhatChk said:


> Got this today:
> 
> 
> hey i'm j***, j/w how tall are you and what size shoe do you wear? lol hopefully i'll ttyl
> ...



He's trying to judge how big your penis is, obviously.


----------



## PhatChk (Jul 6, 2011)

Blackjack said:


> He's trying to judge how big your penis is, obviously.[/QUOTE
> 
> If we go by my feet I have a tiny penis :doh:


----------



## Fat Brian (Jul 6, 2011)

Blackjack said:


> He's trying to judge how big your penis is, obviously.



Maybe he wants a foot job but wants to make sure she has little feet first so his junk doesn't look tiny by comparison.


----------



## mossystate (Jul 7, 2011)

Fat Brian said:


> Maybe he wants a foot job but wants to make sure she has little feet first so his junk doesn't look tiny by comparison.




This must be why everybody who draws ugly crazy pictures of fat women always leave the feet and hands tiny.


----------



## Fat Brian (Jul 7, 2011)

mossystate said:


> This must be why everybody who draws ugly crazy pictures of fat women always leave the feet and hands tiny.



Thats very possibly true, maybe we can have the guys who draw those pictures post up their measurements.


----------



## CastingPearls (Jul 7, 2011)

Fat Brian said:


> Thats very possibly true, maybe we can have the guys who draw those pictures post up their measurements.


I'm sure those......renderings....would be just as accurate.


----------



## CarlaSixx (Jul 7, 2011)

Just received:

Straight up, I'll order you a burger if you let me hit that tonight.





What a charmer.


----------



## ConnieLynn (Jul 7, 2011)

PM on a venue where my profile picture is a picture of a cat and I have never posted a message:

"Hello, you are a beautiful woman. What do men notice most about you?"


----------



## randomjenerator (Jul 7, 2011)

CarlaSixx said:


> Just received:
> 
> Straight up, I'll order you a burger if you let me hit that tonight.
> 
> What a charmer.



Ha! I'd probably consider it depending on where said burger was coming from


----------



## CarlaSixx (Jul 7, 2011)

randomjenerator said:


> Ha! I'd probably consider it depending on where said burger was coming from



He works at Harvey's. While it means I could get a burger made of better quality meat than McDonald's, and I could choose topping by topping what I would want. But... the guy ain't getting lucky with just a dinner unless it's some super amazing italian dish with a bottomless glass of whatever alcohol of my choosing 




Well... that's a stretch, too, lol.


----------



## Fat Brian (Jul 7, 2011)

ConnieLynn said:


> PM on a venue where my profile picture is a picture of a cat and I have never posted a message:
> 
> "Hello, you are a beautiful woman. What do men notice most about you?"



I guess he noticed your furry pussy...


----------



## liz (di-va) (Jul 8, 2011)

CarlaSixx said:


> Just received:
> Straight up, I'll order you a burger if you let me hit that tonight.


BWAHhahahah


----------



## FatAndProud (Jul 9, 2011)

I think this guy is being egotistical...or maybe trying to impress? This is only the second message and I feel he's always writing a doctoral thesis and/or giving me his resume. He makes me giggle.
------------------------------------------------------------
Ah, I see. I think I'm the only one who still uses a bona
fide computer for anything, and I use it to design
proteins.

I like the lab well enough, but to be fair I'm only here
because it's where the sensor we're creating will be
first deployed. I work properly in a
proteomics/biochemistry/bioinformatics lab, which is
absolutely marvelous. I couldn't imagine anything else
either. What, might I ask, do you do in a pathology lab?

It's not so much that I want to get more than a PhD in
terms of degree, but that I sense the opportunity for
someone of my admittedly abnormal skillset to make a
significant impact on bioengineering. In brief, there are
specific systems that when instantiated in a sentient
system will allow conscious control of things previously
thought immutable, both within and without, and with the
coming shortage of non-biomass materials that's going to
be extremely useful. I want to make large-scale designed
organisms sufficiently feasible to supplement, if not
supplant, inorganic structures wherever possible by
making the design process to a certain degree autonomous
while remaining human-controllable. It's at least fifty
years from becoming the reality I envision, but if it
works it will be well worth it.

So yeah. I just want a PhD, but I have frankly ridiculous
ideas as to what to DO once I've got my own lab
therewith.


----------



## CastingPearls (Jul 9, 2011)

FatAndProud said:


> I think this guy is being egotistical...or maybe trying to impress? This is only the second message and I feel he's always writing a doctoral thesis and/or giving me his resume. He makes me giggle.
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> Ah, I see. I think I'm the only one who still uses a bona
> fide computer for anything, and I use it to design
> ...


I don't know if HAL is homicidal, suicidal, neurotic, psychotic, or just plain broken.

HAL 9000: I'm completely operational, and all my circuits are functioning perfectly.


----------



## TexasTrouble (Jul 9, 2011)

FatAndProud said:


> I think this guy is being egotistical...or maybe trying to impress? This is only the second message and I feel he's always writing a doctoral thesis and/or giving me his resume. He makes me giggle.
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> Ah, I see. I think I'm the only one who still uses a bona
> fide computer for anything, and I use it to design
> ...



What?! You don't want to rip his clothes off see how well he takes conscious control of things previously thought immutable?! 

Okay, I am a nerd and even I think this is ridiculous.


----------



## Fat Brian (Jul 9, 2011)

That sounds like one of the scientists from Captain America talking about the super soldier serum.


----------



## Jess87 (Jul 9, 2011)

FatAndProud said:


> I think this guy is being egotistical...or maybe trying to impress? This is only the second message and I feel he's always writing a doctoral thesis and/or giving me his resume. He makes me giggle.
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> Ah, I see. I think I'm the only one who still uses a bona
> fide computer for anything, and I use it to design
> ...



That is so ridiculous that it's hilarious. I'm a little concerned though. Is that not how Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum got together in The Fly?


----------



## mossystate (Jul 9, 2011)

But...how big is his dick.


----------



## CarlaSixx (Jul 9, 2011)

Ladies and gents, Sheldon Cooper has officially entered the dating world. Behold!


----------



## LovelyLiz (Jul 10, 2011)

Maybe I'm alone in finding him endearing...  I'd give the guy a chance!!!


----------



## randomjenerator (Jul 10, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> Maybe I'm alone in finding him endearing...  I'd give the guy a chance!!!



Kinda with you on that. I once dated a guy who was extremely passionate about his very technical job. He would get very excited talking about it and I understood absolutely none of what he said, but it was just his super geek side and it was adorable. 

If you have any potential interest, I'd give it a shot. I mean, he wasn't being a jerk like some of the other gems we've all experienced. 

Plus, I'd really like to hear about what this guy is like on a first date after reading that


----------



## Carrie (Jul 10, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> Maybe I'm alone in finding him endearing...  I'd give the guy a chance!!!


I would, too. He _could_ be arrogant, but I think it's equally possible that he's trying very hard to impress. F&P: he might just be really really super excited to find a fellow scientist whom he also finds attractive and is just letting his nerdery run amok. 

Or maybe I am just super impressed that he can spell and form complete sentences.


----------



## FatAndProud (Jul 10, 2011)

I will give the guy a shot. He hasn't sent me any creeper signals, yet. We'll see


----------



## LovelyLiz (Jul 10, 2011)

FatAndProud said:


> I will give the guy a shot. He hasn't sent me any creeper signals, yet. We'll see



YAY! Keep us posted.


----------



## activistfatgirl (Jul 11, 2011)

I almost gave the "ill nom that snatch" guy a shot, because he is so beautiful, but then he talked normal for like two lines before he asked me if I smoke trees. JUST ASK ME ABOUT MY JOB! WHAT I LIKE TO DO FOR FUN! Isn't that in some manual somewhere?

Maybe I should write this manual. Maybe this thread should write this manual.


----------



## Fat Brian (Jul 12, 2011)

activistfatgirl said:


> Maybe I should write this manual. Maybe this thread should write this manual.



Don't worry, I'm sure most of the guys whose messages have ended up in this thread know plenty about manual.


----------



## randomjenerator (Jul 12, 2011)

activistfatgirl said:


> I almost gave the "ill nom that snatch" guy a shot, because he is so beautiful, but then he talked normal for like two lines before he asked me if I smoke trees. JUST ASK ME ABOUT MY JOB! WHAT I LIKE TO DO FOR FUN! Isn't that in some manual somewhere?
> 
> Maybe I should write this manual. Maybe this thread should write this manual.



Not that I think what he wrote was better, but I'm not a fan of the ones that follow the manual. I know they are typical and eventually that ground always gets covered if there is any chemistry, so I like off the wall or not typical questions in the beginning. 

But it hardly ever happens.


----------



## Jes (Jul 12, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> Maybe I'm alone in finding him endearing...  I'd give the guy a chance!!!



Not alone. His message is a bit intense for a 2nd contact, but she and he do have something in common work- or school-wise (right?) and unless he's pulling that passage off the internet verbatim, he seems bright and motivated. I always get intense via email/chat too, and I'm completely perfect in every way. Anyway, I prefer intense to 'how much U eatt evry day?' messages. Still, if it creeps the OP out, I guess that's all that matters.


----------



## b0nnie (Jul 13, 2011)

do u have big sexy feet


----------



## mszwebs (Jul 20, 2011)

"Would you be my mistress?"




What the [email protected]


----------



## darlingzooloo (Jul 20, 2011)

CarlaSixx said:


> Just received:
> 
> Straight up, I'll order you a burger if you let me hit that tonight.
> 
> ...



Man, he didn't even offer fries? What a dipstick. XP :doh: 

Ah, creepers......


----------



## AmazingAmy (Jul 28, 2011)

> Hi there how r u loke *beatfoul* and I'm intrstud on do u wana get to now me more xx



I'm both flattered and insulted.


----------



## staceysmith (Jul 30, 2011)

A 62% match (from Jamaica, wtf?) on okcupid left me this lovely message: "hi i love your size contact me " recently.


*But here is a different story.*
It's not a "first message" story, but it's a horrible online dating story--

This guy sent me this in a text after I told him I _*WOULDN'T*_ send him nudes and that it's something you're given as a reward, because I don't hand them out like candy:
"What makes you think you're worth the effort? I dunno. You haven't given me enough reason to put my confidence in you, Christine. I'm a pretty popular guy with the ladies. I think you're really good looking- but I don't have the time or energy to wait around for something that may or may not happen. There are lots of great girls who aren't so afraid to put themselves out there for me. *I'm one hell of a catch, you know. * I'm going to sleep. I'll give you the night to think about how long "a while" is. Talk to you tomorrow, doll face."​
*I sent him a message back--*

Myself: I wanted to let you know that the last string of text messages you sent me were the most narcissistic things I have ever read in my entire life.
Him: Many of us who aren't fat and uninteresting have good reasons to be narcissistic​Myself: If I was so fat and uninteresting, then why were you so interested in getting pictures from me? I've sent pictures out, just most certainly not to you.
Him: Actually it is practically worshiped.

Look at Steve Jobs, George Clooney, or Justin Timberlake; all proof positive for a society who prefers skinny, interesting, narcissists over the likes of you.​Myself: They're famous for doing things. Steve Jobs created a successful tech company, George Clooney is an acclaimed actor and Justin Timberlake is a talented performer. Society likes people who are genuinely interesting, not just self-centered egomaniacs.
Him: So you agree with me. Society likes genuinly interesting narcissists. Like me.​Me: If society liked you, you'd be a famous DJ right now.

If anyone would like to know HIS okcupid profile name, let me know. Hahaha... He's just some almost 30 loser, who Dj's at shitty clubs, wears far too much candy, and does various drugs constantly. I found that last bit out because he's friends with my best friend's boss. What a small world.


----------



## AmazingAmy (Jul 30, 2011)

staceysmith said:


> If anyone would like to know HIS okcupid profile name, let me know. Hahaha... He's just some almost 30 loser, who Dj's at shitty clubs, wears far too much candy, and does various drugs constantly. I found that last bit out because he's friends with my best friend's boss. What a small world.



What a raaaaaging arsehole. Say you'll go on a date with him and then stand him up. Say you met someone more interesting.


----------



## J34 (Jul 30, 2011)

staceysmith said:


> A 62% match (from Jamaica, wtf?) on okcupid left me this lovely message: "hi i love your size contact me " recently.



Wow a seld absorbed narcissist, whom thinks he walks on water. If he is so charming and such a "ladies man" seem odd that he would then contact you? Then make you feel that you owe him a favor.


----------



## staceysmith (Jul 31, 2011)

AmazingAmy said:


> What a raaaaaging arsehole. Say you'll go on a date with him and then stand him up. Say you met someone more interesting.



Luckily this happened earlier in the spring, but after my last message I blocked him, and kept his number in my phone (just in-case). Haha, I just thought it would be a good story to put up here. I already had it on fuck-no-okcupid's tumblr (another great place for bad/great stories, lol).


----------



## lalatx (Jul 31, 2011)

Received a message on facebook that simply said "fuck?"

I replied "Fuck as in a verb, adverb, adjective, command, interjection or noun? I need some clarification regarding you're piss poor attempt at making me want you."


----------



## TexasTrouble (Jul 31, 2011)

lalatx said:


> Received a message on facebook that simply said "fuck?"
> 
> I replied "Fuck as in a verb, adverb, adjective, command, interjection or noun? I need some clarification regarding you're piss poor attempt at making me want you."



As a lover of literate people (and men, in particular), my bitchy side would have wanted to reply: "What a coincidence, when I saw your face, my first thought was 'fuuuuuuck?!'"


----------



## deadly-spaghetti-o (Jul 31, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> I got a message today on POF that made me think of some of the totally ridiculous/tasteless/hilarious initial contacts my friends and I sometimes get on internet dating sites. It makes no sense to me that someone could say some of these things, and actually expect a woman to reply! Insane.
> ......... _Lesson: Go ahead and put forth the effort to write a unique message to each girl you're interested in. It's not that hard._



I totally get you on this... I've had so many random messages from guys it's like sometimes they don't even bother to read your POF at all because they message you about completely random things that would either be on your profile or be the worse conversation starter ever. Or something they put together in two seconds, like a 5 letter message. Totally not interesting!


----------



## Fox (Jul 31, 2011)

TexasTrouble said:


> As a lover of literate people (and men, in particular), my bitchy side would have wanted to reply: "What a coincidence, when I saw your face, my first thought was 'fuuuuuuck?!'"




Haha *zing*


----------



## bmann0413 (Jul 31, 2011)

So yeah, it's official. I'm going to delete my account on OkCupid and PlentyOfFish. The fish just aren't biting the line I throw out.


----------



## HeavyDuty24 (Aug 1, 2011)

bmann0413 said:


> So yeah, it's official. I'm going to delete my account on OkCupid and PlentyOfFish. The fish just aren't biting the line I throw out.




sorry about that dude.  i have thought about deleting mine too before..


----------



## Jes (Aug 1, 2011)

staceysmith said:


> "What makes you think you're worth the effort? I dunno. You haven't given me enough reason to put my confidence in you, Christine. I'm a pretty popular guy with the ladies. I think you're really good looking- but I don't have the time or energy to wait around for something that may or may not happen. There are lots of great girls who aren't so afraid to put themselves out there for me. *I'm one hell of a catch, you know. * I'm going to sleep. I'll give you the night to think about how long "a while" is. Talk to you tomorrow, doll face."​
> .



This sounds like classic Pick up Artist bullshit. Next!


----------



## PamelaLois (Aug 1, 2011)

bmann0413 said:


> So yeah, it's official. I'm going to delete my account on OkCupid and PlentyOfFish. The fish just aren't biting the line I throw out.


 
Sounds like the ones that are biting would be the kind featured on River Monsters


----------



## liz (di-va) (Aug 1, 2011)

lalatx said:


> Received a message on facebook that simply said "fuck?"


I almost admire that for its pointed brevity (almost).


----------



## Emma (Aug 4, 2011)

bmann0413 said:


> So yeah, it's official. I'm going to delete my account on OkCupid and PlentyOfFish. The fish just aren't biting the line I throw out.



I deleted my POF the first day after I got 170 messages all from people asking to have sex with me.


----------



## firefly (Aug 4, 2011)

First message: "You are the heaviest woman I ever found here." (German dating-site for (SS)BBW/BHM and their admirers)

Errr, thx for this information!


----------



## gogogal (Aug 5, 2011)

My experience with POF was basically amazement at just how many guys will include photos of their penises in their intro messages. And not even always provocative messages. 

Sure, you would get the, "How do you like this nine inch sausage?" (pic)

But also, I recall a lot of, "Hi there. Bill here. I like your profile. Cute dog in your picture. I myself have 2 chocolate labs. Hope to hear from you!" (boner picture attached)

I finally had to get out of there. I think the fact that it is a free site is a big part of the problem. Sure, free is great and all, but it just attracts a lot of foolishness. Other sites that require payment, while it doesn't necessarily mean the users are great people, at least shows most people are somewhat serious about using the site.

Nevertheless, POF has its place. It's great if you are working on a wiener picture collage, or something.


----------



## J34 (Aug 6, 2011)

gogogal said:


> My experience with POF was basically amazement at just how many guys will include photos of their penises in their intro messages. And not even always provocative messages.
> 
> Sure, you would get the, "How do you like this nine inch sausage?" (pic)
> 
> ...



Did you try adjusting your setting to block those people who send sexually explicit messages. I think some people forget that.


----------



## GlassDaemon (Aug 6, 2011)

My most interesting messages that suggested they wanted more than just friends were from myspace, I dunno why, but I never had ones as bad as some of ya'll state here from POF or OKcupid, maybe I just don't remember deleting them though.

Anyway, I don't remember them word for word but I specifically remember the username was "SirSmokesAlot" he said something along the lines of "Me and my girl think you're kinda hot, wanna get to get smoke some, drink some and have a threesome with me and my hot girl?" Of course the typing wasn't that beautiful, lot of chat speak. lol

Another one, which was very long, and I'll try to replay it to the best of my memory was, "Hello, my name is _____. I come from _____. I'm looking for a nice girl to spend some time with. I'd like to see you, maybe if you play your cards right, who knows what you could get me to give you." In a nutshell it was an advertisement for him to be my sugar daddy... 

I haven't used POF or OKcupid in almost two years, I met my current bf on POF.


----------



## NewfieGal (Aug 6, 2011)

I have never used POF although they say its a good site here where I'm from its a joke if your using POF... my crazy message came from someone who seem somewhat normal at first, then he said after all of 3 sentences that he loved me and was gonna tell me every chance he got...hmm oh no your not consider yourself dismissed... the word love is abused enough as it is and a stranger telling you they love you after a 3 minute convo is creepy LOL


Love how they always start the conversation with "so how are you?" to which I usually respond "fine how are you?"...then comes the ever popular 2nd phrase "horny wanna help me with that" LOL serves me right I guess for asking how they are in return LOL


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## gogogal (Aug 6, 2011)

J34 - I didn't even realize that option existed. Thanks for the info!


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## gogogal (Aug 6, 2011)

NewfieGal said:


> I have never used POF although they say its a good site here where I'm from its a joke if your using POF... my crazy message came from someone who seem somewhat normal at first, then he said after all of 3 sentences that he loved me and was gonna tell me every chance he got...hmm oh no your not consider yourself dismissed... the word love is abused enough as it is and a stranger telling you they love you after a 3 minute convo is creepy LOL



Yeah I find that happens a lot, and often from internet dating site scammers who will prey on women (or men), throw the L word around, and then hit them up for money for this reason or that. It's sad how many people get suckered by it. 

Personally I think that anyone who is going to tell me they are in love with me me, sight unseen, is either a scammer or at least a little emotionally unbalanced.


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## aocutiepi (Aug 7, 2011)

Journeying back into the fray... here's a sweet message:



> Hello my name is Drake yes really lol. I love you your profile and would love a chance to chat sometime. Maybe even grab a drink my treat. I love the outdoors and hiking been spending a lot of time recently trying to get some photos of the moon-bow at Cumberland falls. i love to study anything out of the ordinary so you will often find me in the occult section of a book store. I would love to here more about you and if you have any questions for me ask my life is a open book and a great adventure.
> 
> Blessed Be
> 
> Drake



Why should I be shocked and or laugh that your name is Drake? Also, clicked to view his profile... he and his lady friend are looking for someone to be in a regular threesome with. How did I get so lucky? :smitten:

Also... I love the mentioning of the occult followed by the random use of "Blessed Be." Nice touch, Drake-whose-name-I-don't-find-remotely-odd-or-funny-lololololol.


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## CarlaSixx (Aug 7, 2011)

I can explain the occult/Blessed Be thing! 

Wiccans/Pagans tend to "sign off" with Blessed Be. And book of shadows and such is in the occult section of the book store 

But gee.... He and his girl sound like total winners!


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## shinyapple (Aug 8, 2011)

Dear Tim with eight numbers, 

I replied with a thank you to your comment "your beautiful". That was not an invitation to send me eight additional messages in less than twenty minutes.

Bahleted!


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## CarlaSixx (Aug 8, 2011)

Some guy tonight messaged me from Massachusetts basically saying he'd do a 6 hr drive to see me for a date, but only if as a "gift" I were to do all his bidding  HA! Not happening.


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## J34 (Aug 8, 2011)

gogogal said:


> J34 - I didn't even realize that option existed. Thanks for the info!



I think it should help clear your inbox of the muck that is out there, lol. Since no one wants to check an inbox that is like an email version of chat roulette.


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## aocutiepi (Aug 8, 2011)

> hi i am bradley
> you might be a little to smart for me but does not hurt to say hi



Well, at least he understands this ahead of time.


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## aocutiepi (Aug 8, 2011)

CarlaSixx said:


> I can explain the occult/Blessed Be thing!
> 
> Wiccans/Pagans tend to "sign off" with Blessed Be. And book of shadows and such is in the occult section of the book store
> 
> But gee.... He and his girl sound like total winners!




TY, Carla. That makes much more sense.


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## CarlaSixx (Aug 10, 2011)

Here's a message I read just now:

"Let me make this quick n easy, i want your name and number.."

----


Ummm... I dunno what to make of that. :blink:


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## AmazingAmy (Aug 11, 2011)

> HI.....I like what am looking at,lovely pictures,i like your bum,looking good and yummy,take a look at my pictures and tell me what you think,lol



(Ten minutes later, when I haven't replied):



> ITS OUT OF LOVE I CONTACTED U NOT HATE,SAY THANK U.
> NO BLACKS WELCOME?......WHITE ONLY?....SAY THANK U EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT INTRESTED,ITS NICE TO BE LOVING.TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED.



Out of love? You're just horny, don't pretend you're some sort of gentleman.



> Can you read well?....Read what i wrote about sex on my profile....Do you know me to tell me am pretending to be a gentleman?.....You want others to judge you?....When you dont know someone its better you try to be decent with respect for others than judging them....Yes its out of love and not hate i contacted you,if it was hate i will be telling you off about your pictures or body type,but all i said is nice things to you....So if you're rude with no respect for others,its better you know what to say...Am not desperate though,and am proud to show what i got and that does not mean am insane....Am Intelligent...Doing my masters in International Law...So have respect and mind what you say to people you dont know,as you'll never like to be judge.



You're terribly paranoid, aren't you?



> YOU MUST BE JOKING.....ME PARANOID FOR WHAT?.....22 YRS OLD GIRL TELLING ME AM PARANOID,AM SURE YOU'RE USING SUCH WORDS AND DONT EVEN KNOW THE REAL MEANING OF WHAT YOU'RE SAYING...ME PARANOID FOR PUSSY..A MAN WITH A 9 INCH COCK PARANOID ON A SEX SITE?...YOU'RE YOUNG AND THINKING YOU KNOW IT ALL,AND YOU'LL END UP KNOWING NOTHING IN LIFE.....AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH,YOU MAKE LAUGH.



There, there.


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## AmazingAmy (Aug 11, 2011)

And more, because it's just getting sad now:



> AM NOT FAT,AM FIT,CONFIDENT,YOU SEE ME SHOWING MYSELF ON THE NET AND FEELING GOOD ABOUT MYSELF AND NOT LOOKING TO BOOST MY EGO,AND NOT TRYING OTHERS TO ACCEPT ME,AND ME PARANOID?....YOU DONT KNOW WHO DEALING WITH TO BE TALKING ABOUT PARANOID.....AM SURE YOU'RE PARANOID THATS WHY YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT. YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH REALITY....TO BE TELLING OTHERS ABOUT BEEN PARANOID....AM SURE ITS SOMETHING YOU'RE DEALING WITH .....PEOPLE SAY AM INTELLIGENT,LOVING,COCKY,AND ITS NEW FOR SOMEONE TELLING ME AM PARANOID.



You can switch off your caplocks, you know. It just makes you sound deaf.



> I WANT U TO SEE WHAT AM WRITING AND WILL LEAVE IT THAT WAY....DEAL WITH YOUR PROBLEMS THAN MAKING SILLY COMMENTS ON HERE....AM SURE YOU DONT HAVE NO RESPECT FOR NO ONE WITH AN ATTITUDE...SO DEAL WITH IT. ITS BETTER YOU GO TO THE GYM AND MAYBE THAT WILL HELP YOU TO THINK STRAIGHT,AM SURE YOU'RE STRUGGLING WITH YOUR WEIGHT PROBLEM,SO THATS MAKING YOU SO STUPID,THATS WHY U CALLING ME AN IDIOT....AM SURE YOU CALL YOUR MUM AND DAD IDIOT,SO IT WILL NEVER SUPRISE ME THOUGH.
> 
> YOU COMING HERE TO BOOST YOUR CONFIDENCE BY SHOWING YOURSELF....A MAN LIKE ME CONTACTING U SHOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY,BUT IT JUST SHOWS YOU'LL ALWAYS STRUGGLE WHEN YOU MEET DECENT GUYS,BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT USED TO DECENT PEOPLE TALKING TO YOU,LOOK YOURSELF IN THE MIRROW BEFORE CALLING ME IDIOT OR PARANOID....AM GOING DOWN TO YOUR LEVEL BECAUSE I TRY TO BE NICE TO YOU AT THE BEGINING,BUT YOU SAID AM NOT A GENTLE MAN.SO AM TREATING YOU THE WAY YOU'RE USED TO BE TREATED...SO AM DOWN TO YOUR LEVEL NOW.



You're a sick human being.



> OH YES....YOU'RE USED TO BE WITH PEOPLE WHO ABUSED YOU AND REFUSED YOU...AND I COME TO YOU WITH RESPECT,BUT YOU'RE NOT USED TO BE RESPECTED,SO THATS WHY YOU START INSULTING ME....SO AM GIVING U WHAT YOU DESERVE.....WE ALL CAN BE RUDE AND INCONSIDERATE TOO,ESPECIALLY WHEN I MEET PEOPLE LIKE YOU WITH NO HUMILITY,EMPATHY,RESPECT FOR OTHERS.



And now I'm giving up, because there's no way I'm gonna make this guy see what's wrong with him. What a dickhead.


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## CarlaSixx (Aug 11, 2011)

He'd make a lovely trophy husband for some unsuspecting brat of a woman 

You handled him well. But I'd be using that block feature now. Lol.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Aug 11, 2011)

AmazingAmy said:


> And more, because it's just getting sad now:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



There is nothing that disgusts me more than the narcissists who think you should be grateful for their attention just because you're fat. UGH.


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## AmazingAmy (Aug 11, 2011)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> There is nothing that disgusts me more than the narcissists who think you should be grateful for their attention just because you're fat. UGH.



Ditto! It's just too much to even explain to him. He's not worth the effort anyway. It's take years to change a person like him.


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## mossystate (Aug 11, 2011)

AmazingAmy said:


> Ditto! It's just too much to even explain to him. He's not worth the effort anyway. It's take years to change a person like him.



Please tell me that next time you run into one of these fuckers that you won't do more than laugh at them, if that ?

Please.


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## AmazingAmy (Aug 11, 2011)

mossystate said:


> Please tell me that next time you run into one of these fuckers that you won't do more than laugh at them, if that ?
> 
> Please.



I guarantee!! I don't want anything to do with them. Not even an argument.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Aug 12, 2011)

gogogal said:


> My experience with POF was basically amazement at just how many guys will include photos of their penises in their intro messages. And not even always provocative messages.
> 
> Sure, you would get the, "How do you like this nine inch sausage?" (pic)
> 
> ...




i agree,i think alot of people just don't know what they want on POF.half the people aren't serious and the few that are you hardly ever cross paths with them.it's just a big joke sometimes on there.i just go there and check my mail now,i hardly even send out messages anymore.was thinking about getting rid of it all together.


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## *Goofy*Girl* (Aug 14, 2011)

Yeah, POF is a joke of a dating site. Something like SSBBWDATING.COM is better. There seems to be more quality men there.

Here are a couple of my last messages on POF:

"Mmmmmmmm I will take you on any time"

~and~

"kan u deep throt"


YUCK!


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## HeavyDuty24 (Aug 14, 2011)

*Goofy*Girl* said:


> Yeah, POF is a joke of a dating site. Something like SSBBWDATING.COM is better. There seems to be more quality men there.
> 
> Here are a couple of my last messages on POF:
> 
> ...



Wow that is horrible, im sorry about that. How rude.


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## Jess87 (Aug 15, 2011)

> Braaaaaaains.



That was the entire message. I appreciated it a lot.


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## Blackjack (Aug 15, 2011)

Jess87 said:


> That was the entire message. I appreciated it a lot.



That's a better first message than I've seen from some folks, really.


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## Diana_Prince245 (Aug 21, 2011)

I don't know if this counts, but this is an IM I had earlier tonight from some random person.

nickinguk 9:02 pm
Oooo wait. I got a fun idea. Have you ever watched a girI strip on cam b4?

Me 9:03 pm
Um, why would I want to watch a girl strip? I'm trying to study, and I'm straighter than straight.

nickinguk 9:03 pm
WellII.... Do you want to watch me strip on cam?

Me 9:03 pm
Nobody can be as stupid as you're acting.

I think I may take my IM off my profile here.


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## CastingPearls (Aug 22, 2011)

'Baby i am alone and i need some one that will replace my missing ribs.'


Chinese delivery, sweetheart.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Aug 22, 2011)

Diana_Prince245 said:


> I don't know if this counts, but this is an IM I had earlier tonight from some random person.
> 
> nickinguk 9:02 pm
> Oooo wait. I got a fun idea. Have you ever watched a girI strip on cam b4?
> ...



For what it's worth, I doubt it's anyone here. That's a very common spammer tactic. Just a typical random spammer.


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## Diana_Prince245 (Aug 22, 2011)

I think I'm taking my IM address off everywhere. That way I have to give it out for somebody to get it.

Still, you'd think it would be more efficient to spam people who might actually want to watch a girl take her clothes off, ya know.


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## Carrie (Aug 22, 2011)

Diana_Prince245 said:


> Still, you'd think it would be more efficient to spam people who might actually want to watch a girl take her clothes off, ya know.


I think spammers tend to ascribe to the cast a wide net philosophy.


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## idontspeakespn (Aug 22, 2011)

I had one recently. I made a profile on a dating site at the insistent urging of my sister-in-law (since she herself was matched with my brother by internet dating) and I put down that I was an American living in the UK. I thought it was only fair to let men know right up front, because I don't want them thinking I need a green card marriage or anything. 

So, this guy messages me and ACTUALLY says to me: 

USA in the UK, huh? How about a little UK in your USA ;-) 

Yes, I'm sure in your case sir it would indeed be a *little* UK.

At least it was original, I'll give him that.


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## FatAndProud (Aug 23, 2011)

I'm going on my first legit date. No sex, no pressures. Just a movie and some food afterward. I am so scared. I'm worried that he won't like my size or something. He says he likes bigger women....for "normal guys" bigger tends to be bbw-ish. I'm huge, just saying. I have body pics posted on my profile, but I feel photos don't always represent you fully. 

If I get too nervous, I will probably just cancel. Gah.


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## Jes (Aug 23, 2011)

FatAndProud said:


> I'm going on my first legit date. No sex, no pressures. Just a movie and some food afterward. I am so scared. I'm worried that he won't like my size or something. He says he likes bigger women....for "normal guys" bigger tends to be bbw-ish. I'm huge, just saying. I have body pics posted on my profile, but I feel photos don't always represent you fully.
> 
> If I get too nervous, I will probably just cancel. Gah.



If nothing else, go to see if YOU like HIM. It's not always all about you!


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## Fallenangel2904 (Aug 23, 2011)

My first hilarious message in a long time. On POF lol

Him:
i would make you moan so loud neighbors would think it's an opera singer stubbing their 
toe.

My reply:
Wow. Does that really work for you with ladies? Smh

His response:
I have lived the "Disregard Women, Acquire Aesthetics, Man 
the Harpoons" lifestyle since I was a sperm. I am nothing 
short of a champion. I do****push ups to failure, I have 
supplement nutrition facts taped to the inside of my stunna 
shades, I listen to Mens Fitness on audio book on my way to 
the gym and my workout playlist when I go to sleep at 
night, I have a statue in a small village in South America, 
I sleep in the sit up position, I don't feel pain because 
there is no more weakness left to leave my body, I take so 
many vitamins my piss is neon excellence, and I read my 
lifting progress while I sh*tprotein bars.

Can someone tell me WTF he is talking about??? Lmao hilarious!


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## FatAndProud (Aug 23, 2011)

Fallenangel2904 said:


> My first hilarious message in a long time. On POF lol
> 
> Him:
> i would make you moan so loud neighbors would think it's an opera singer stubbing their
> ...



I think it's just Chuck Norris. He always has those long intros


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## Fat Brian (Aug 23, 2011)

The part about pissing excellence is from Talledega Nights. His response was actually pretty funny if he doesn't expect you to believe it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrvkB3pK8lg


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## PamelaLois (Aug 23, 2011)

Fallenangel2904 said:


> My first hilarious message in a long time. On POF lol
> 
> Him:
> i would make you moan so loud neighbors would think it's an opera singer stubbing their
> ...


 

He's "The Most Interesting Man In The World"


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## CleverBomb (Aug 23, 2011)

He doesn't respond to many internet personals, but when he does, he replies to Fallenangel2904. 

Stay horny, my friends. 

-Rusty


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## SlightlyMorbid (Aug 24, 2011)

From a Dutch dating site before I met my boyfriend. We LUL'd about this one so much

60 Year old man: "Hello there, my precious little flower, I would like to introduce myself. My name is (censored out) and I would like to get to know you as I have been looking for a good, sweet woman for quite some time and you seem suitable."

Me: "I'm sorry, but you are sixty years old. That's a bit too big of an age-difference, don't you think? I don't mind talking on a casual basis, but yeah, nothin' more then that."

60 year-old man: "Don't worry, my appearance might be sixty, but under the belt I'm your age."

Quite the witty comeback, but I assured him he'd be best off trying someone else -shudders- Age-difference is one thing, but for me personally, a tad bit too much.



This is one my boyfriend had once from a girl.

"The spring has arrived once more and I feel butterflies in my belly. Are you the cause of them and can you soothe them like (something something poetic something) as we talk and get to know each other?"

He copy-pasta'd me that one when we were getting to know each other.


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## CarlaSixx (Aug 24, 2011)

One I got recently:

Hey baby. Ur fine. If you let me hit that I might just wanna put a ring on it.


-----

:doh:


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## MrBob (Aug 24, 2011)

idontspeakespn said:


> I had one recently. I made a profile on a dating site at the insistent urging of my sister-in-law (since she herself was matched with my brother by internet dating) and I put down that I was an American living in the UK. I thought it was only fair to let men know right up front, because I don't want them thinking I need a green card marriage or anything.
> 
> So, this guy messages me and ACTUALLY says to me:
> 
> ...



Who is this asshole? He's stealing all my best material!


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## Inhibited (Aug 25, 2011)

My messages aren't really that bad, but i did get one tonight that make me think of this thread......

You must be hot hun. Hot like a pornstar. Bored and so horny. I am passionate about sex. Looking for my wild cat. Love to enjoy life. So dam bored. Live ya titis Hun. Wish can kiss them and play with. Can I go down on ya babe. Kiss ya , tease ya, suck ya and you know . Lol. Wanna catch up. My cock is fkin hard. Love to pound ya hard Hun. Sorry if ya mind. But I speak st forward. Xxxx


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## Jes (Aug 25, 2011)

Inhibited said:


> Sorry if ya mind.



You know, after thinking about this for awhile, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that he is not, actually, sorry if you mind.


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## comaseason (Aug 25, 2011)

Inhibited said:


> My messages aren't really that bad, but i did get one tonight that make me think of this thread......
> 
> You must be hot hun. Hot like a pornstar. Bored and so horny. I am passionate about sex. Looking for my wild cat. Love to enjoy life. So dam bored. Live ya titis Hun. Wish can kiss them and play with. Can I go down on ya babe. Kiss ya , tease ya, suck ya and you know . Lol. Wanna catch up. My cock is fkin hard. Love to pound ya hard Hun. Sorry if ya mind. But I speak st forward. Xxxx



I like how he takes a break in the middle to "lol". 

Classy.


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## Inhibited (Sep 6, 2011)

DOn't know how as i blocked him but got another message from lovedoggy..

I ask you for a date before hun but you didnot respond. It's oki a beauty like you rules and can say anything she want. I am single from a long time and it sucks when you work 5 days. I don't know but ya pic always stop me. Ya cutie like a barbie and you know better you smokin hot. So can I take you out just once. For a movie or a lunch. Then upto you. What ever you say still your no 1 fan. Best of luck love.x


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## BlackBBW2010 (Sep 8, 2011)

*Hi love!!, I just have read ur profile ,really I like it if u r interested in my pro .In this case , we may be on relationship , for me I like to have family for ever , I do not like to be alone ,now , I am doing my Mas .I think we have a lot in common so, if u want to know many things about me , dont hesitate to email me , please feel free*

Well, no one likes to be alone I guess.


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## *Goofy*Girl* (Sep 10, 2011)

I got another marriage proposal from Facebook. 
This guy is from West Africa and is willing to travel here...eeeekkkk!

Sometimes I think some of these guys just want to become U.S. citizens.


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## NewfieGal (Sep 10, 2011)

LOL I love that I have had several marriage proposals as a first sentence... an IM will pop up... 

whoever: will you marry me? 

Me:AH NO!!! 

whoever: well i was so struck by your beauty I just had to ask, so you don't believe in love at first site (and its always site not sight LOL)

Ok and by this point I'm laughing my ass off cause its always from some dude from a foreign country I know I am single but I think I will patiently wait for marriage from someone I love, and have at least met in real life LOL... even if I had to wait another 30 years


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## goofy girl (Sep 10, 2011)

All I asked was "What are you looking for?" :

"Hello,

Sorry it took so long to get back to you but I have visitors and also preparing travel up to NY this Sunday and Cranston the 14th and Puerto Rico the week after.

Your question about what I am looking for seems quite simple but for me it is a bit more complex. I guess I am a miserably happy man or happily miserable. Not sure what my therapist might call it. For all practical purposes I am living what most people consider to be the dream life. Health, fabulous family, financially secure, professionally successful...I have it all..or at least appear so.

Without boring you to tears I will simply say I am about to act on a 20+ year fantasy/denied-fetish that stems from childhood and as a product of incest. My aunt introduced me to the wonders of sex about the time I was 8 and up until I was about 40. She had a daughter my age and throughout most of my adult life we shared a secret life beyond our public life. Luckily for me, all my girlfriends and my first wife had physical characteristics (body) and sexual tastes similar to my fetish teachings. My aunt was the woman that provided the imprint on my brain for body type preference.

My aunt was a beautiful robust voluptuous BBW before the term bbw was even invented. Incredible wide hips, bubble butt, phenomenal thick thighs and a big belly and heavy breasts to die for. She adored being naked and being watched. When in seductress mode, she virtually always wore high heels and the undulating movements of her walk were simply something that extended beyond all other visions of beauty.

She seduced me by being an exhibitionist and brought her daughter into the fray about the same time. Both my mother and my aunt were widows (long military stories) at young ages and my aunt lived with us for about 6 years. In particular, she taught me the art of pleasing and giving and surrendering oneself. She taught me that foreplay was more mental and visual than just the typical physical aspects of most sex. and sex, well it could last for a whole afternoon or it could be a quick masturbation while in public. To feed the mental foreplay she was always whispering what we were going to do or planning our sessions with great detail. And the visual aspect was constant flashes of lifted dresses with no panties, open thighs in a room full of people, or a quick finger in the ass while standing in line at the grocery store. She loved Oral and she was a butt girl and so was her daughter. Oral anal until my tongue was sore. Pushing my face and tongue in deeper and deeper and oh how she loved showing her ass to me; spreading it open wide and she could literally not get enough licking. I don't know how many days my cousin and I would rush home from school to find her on her knees on the bed with her cheeks spread. We took turns pleasing her and then each other. Feeling her cum those many many times was something that I came to see as necessary foreplay. For me, giving is such a critical aspect of the whole act and before I can ever begin to get off. Actually, getting off for me requires it......Makes my heart beat fast just thinking about it.

(lots of detaisl missing here) My life came together when I met, fell in love and married my second wife after a 8-year stint at being a single parent (two kids) and a short first marriage. Shortly after we married, I decided to end the incestuous thing with both aunt and cousin. After all, we have been doing this for 30++ years and it was hard for us to keep up the charade or the schedules. My aunt just recently passed and I keep in touch with my cousin.

My wife is an incredible person, my best friend and we have built a unimaginably beautiful life. She had two kids and together we have this fabulous family and her kids and my kids are like brothers and sisters. Our physical tastes never quite matched but it just did not matter because of the life we had built.

Over the years I began to fantasize more and more about my fetish, the desired body type and the seduction. So much so that I sought therapy to break my obsession. My last therapist was pretty Dr. Phil-ish. He said either let it go forever or find a big ass to stick my tongue in...but that it had to be such that it was impossible to destroy my marriage or our family. 

So, I could not let it go and now am like Goldilocks in search of the perfect situation. My Dr. said he did not feel it possible to find. I mentioned my favorite movie "same time next year" and he said there was not a man on the planet who had not fantazed about that same sitiation.

There you have it. It is 20+ years of constant denial and obsession digested into a few paragraphs. I have had numerous web affairs with cameras and such, and I even hired a few professionals while away on business , but just could not complete the act for money. It can only be completed via a meaningful friendship and kendrid desire for similar. I know it's out there but just need to find it.

Are you an exhibitionist? Do you love being naked and being watched? Are you proud of your body and aware of its power over someone like me? Can you surrender yourself to me in the single pursuit of your personal sexual gratification? If so, then for heavens sake ...lets meet and chat."



yeah...I decided to pass on this guy.


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## TexasTrouble (Sep 10, 2011)

Okay, I'm not even going to quote that (kind of like not even touching something with a 10-foot pole). GoofyGirl, you win.


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## Jes (Sep 10, 2011)

TexasTrouble said:


> Okay, I'm not even going to quote that (kind of like not even touching something with a 10-foot pole). GoofyGirl, you win.



Oh c'mon. Who HASN'T stuck her finger up her butt while in line at the grocery store?!

I'm going to guess most of what that guy wrote is just fantasy. I've met a few like that--very involved stories of being led to sex through an older woman seducing them. It sets up a 'I couldn't help it' or 'I'm not guilty, it wasn't my idea' or 'now I have a fetish that needs to be satisified but I'm not responsible' dynamic that absolves them of having a fetish or cheating on their wives, or whatever. 

Gross.


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## TexasTrouble (Sep 10, 2011)

Jes said:


> Oh c'mon. Who HASN'T stuck her finger up her butt while in line at the grocery store?!
> 
> I'm going to guess most of what that guy wrote is just fantasy. I've met a few like that--very involved stories of being led to sex through an older woman seducing them. It sets up a 'I couldn't help it' or 'I'm not guilty, it wasn't my idea' or 'now I have a fetish that needs to be satisified but I'm not responsible' dynamic that absolves them of having a fetish or cheating on their wives, or whatever.
> 
> Gross.



Oh, I'm sure there's fantasy in there. It has all the classic elements of creeper email:
Overly long and detailed bc it's all about the display. Check.
TMI out the whazoo. Double check. 
Here's my fetish, but it's not my fault...but are you into it? Check.
My wife doesn't understand/can't fulfill my needs/we live separate lives. So...down low? Check. 

It's the incest details that put it over the top and make it a "Yikes" for me. 
But at least I'm feeling pretty good about being single right about now.


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## bettylulu (Sep 10, 2011)

I am married, but I lurk on this thread, because it's hysterical. 

goofy girl- I can't believe you passed on that gem! :doh: How is it even possibly to "quickly" stick your finger up a butt hole in the check out line? Is everyone in this story exceptionally limber with freaky long arms? 

I agree that this is all made up. It's way too detailed and if those things actually happened, I doubt the person they happened to would be so quick to tell a virtual stranger.


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## goofy girl (Sep 10, 2011)

I'm sure it was (and hope it was) all fantasy. Still weird. lol I actually never even read the whole thing...couldn't be bothered


----------



## Jess87 (Sep 11, 2011)

goofy girl said:


> So, I could not let it go and now am like Goldilocks in search of the perfect situation.



Out of all of it, that did me in the most. I like Goldilocks comparison in between the incest and adultery.


----------



## *Goofy*Girl* (Sep 11, 2011)

goofy girl said:


> I'm sure it was (and hope it was) all fantasy. Still weird. lol I actually never even read the whole thing...couldn't be bothered




O...M...G..I hope that is not based on a true story.

On a side note: Sorry, I didn't know there was another Goofy Girl I when signed up, lol. I swear, I didn't steal your name. 

Maybe I should change mine so people don't confuse us.


----------



## CastingPearls (Sep 11, 2011)

Bbbbbut but but....he and his wife have an INCREDIBLE relationship! Don't you want some o' dat?


----------



## Lamia (Sep 13, 2011)

good lord that was horrible I couldn't read the whole thing and then I read the other comments about the finger up the butt in checkout so then I had to read it find that part and let's just say 

Time not well spent


----------



## goofy girl (Sep 13, 2011)

Lamia said:


> good lord that was horrible I couldn't read the whole thing and then I read the other comments about the finger up the butt in checkout so then I had to read it find that part and let's just say
> 
> Time not well spent



lol that's actually what prompted me to finally read the whole thing too. Now where's that little puker emoticon...


----------



## Diana_Prince245 (Sep 13, 2011)

goofy girl said:


> lol that's actually what prompted me to finally read the whole thing too. Now where's that little puker emoticon...


----------



## goofy girl (Sep 13, 2011)

Diana_Prince245 said:


>



THATS IT!!


----------



## liz (di-va) (Sep 15, 2011)

"Do you want to have right now?"

(first/only msg)


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Sep 15, 2011)

liz (di-va) said:


> "Do you want to have right now?"
> 
> (first/only msg)



You should respond "Please select what you are asking if I would like to have:

a) your children
b) an orgasm
c) a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
d) a rousing game of Scrabble."


----------



## Lamia (Sep 15, 2011)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> You should respond "Please select what you are asking if I would like to have:
> 
> a) your children
> b) an orgasm
> ...



I LOVE scrabble....just saying


----------



## JerseyGirl07093 (Sep 15, 2011)

There's nothing like having an orgasm while eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich during a rousing game of Scrabble while your children are out for the evening.   

Hey, maybe that could be my crazy first message to someone!


----------



## JerseyGirl07093 (Sep 19, 2011)

Not that it's that crazy of a message, but I just got this one yesterday right here on Dims from a brand new member....

"Wanna cyber?"

I bet I'm not the only lucky lady to get this message. So, ladies, what should we do? Toss a coin, arm wrestle? How are we gonna figure out who the lucky lady is that gets to cyber with him?  :happy:


----------



## cinnamitch (Sep 20, 2011)

Aww an idio..err a celebrity is in awe of me. I received this little note tonight.Don't be hatin'

Hello Angel. How are you doing? My name is Kiefer, I live in Oakland of California, but am presently in the UKfor a Job and i will be back as soon as my project is accomplished, I just saw your profile and it really attracted me to write you. WOW. you're Gorgeous, what's the secret to your beauty? Well I'm sure you are a rare combination of so many special things and I'm yet to figure out that magic .I'm only writing in view of being a good friend or more, if you wouldn't mind that then i should be expecting a reply soonest. Don't forget my name is Kiefer and i hope to know yours too. Will be counting the min till you write back.
Take care.

PS: You can write me to my email address on xxxxxxxxxxx at yahoo dot com, if you do have a yahoo messenger. Feel free to add me to your yahoo messenger buddy list at xxxxxxxxxxx, I'll be looking forward to your add request!!!!!!!

*Kiefer Sutherland*


----------



## Lovelyone (Sep 20, 2011)

My most recent...
"wow, you've got a big butt. That's awesome." 
and
"Yo, whatchoo doin? That's a hot mess of a profile you got there."

To which I replied, 
"um thanks, I think. I AM awesome aren't I?"
and
" yo, backatchoo. I am watching tv and contemplating whether or not I should delete my hot mess of a profile cos I keep getting responses from very odd individuals."


----------



## liz (di-va) (Sep 20, 2011)

cinnamitch said:


> *Kiefer Sutherland*


Keef has Yahoo!


----------



## roundrevelry (Sep 20, 2011)

Wow this thread has been incredibly entertaining and disturbing. lol 

As a male on OK Cupid I have never received anything particularly crazy. I guess that's reserved for the ladies. But on several occasions I have received...

"Hi" :doh:

I like to know you have something to say, can hold a conversation and most importantly have a functioning brain! I just don't get that from "hi."


----------



## krystalltuerme (Sep 21, 2011)

Why is it that all these scammers who want to come to the US use Yahoo? I don't understand this. Why don't any of them use MSN? Or other instant messanger/communications systems?


----------



## J34 (Sep 21, 2011)

roundrevelry said:


> Wow this thread has been incredibly entertaining and disturbing. lol
> 
> As a male on OK Cupid I have never received anything particularly crazy. I guess that's reserved for the ladies. But on several occasions I have received...
> 
> ...



I get the random "Hi" messages, though from experience in that site I have learned that its not worth writing a well thought out message since 9 out of 10 times they won't respond unless they are interested. A simple sentence has worked for the most part for me.


----------



## CarlaSixx (Sep 26, 2011)

After a very long dry spell, the past 3 days yielded ~50 messages from men 18-55 and ALL of them asking for sexual favours in return for money. 

Okay... I may be desperate for cash, but not THAT desperate. Or is someone trying to tell me something...?

What's worse is getting these advances in public. Which also happened in the past 3 days.


----------



## *Goofy*Girl* (Sep 26, 2011)

CarlaSixx said:


> messages from men 18-55 and ALL of them asking for sexual favours in return for money.



When I think of all the indecent proposals I've gotten from men over the internet (and in real life) I sometimes wonder how much it would add up to if I said yes to every one. 

If I wanted to be a whore, I would probably be a millionaire by now.


----------



## liz (di-va) (Sep 28, 2011)

I enjoyed this spelling:
'I saw u pic and u are buetfauil'


----------



## *Goofy*Girl* (Sep 29, 2011)

liz (di-va) said:


> I enjoyed this spelling:
> 'I saw u pic and u are buetfauil'




I get those from foreigners on Facebook all the time, lol.


----------



## yoopergirl (Oct 20, 2011)

Thought I'd share a message from one of the gentlemen I encountered on BBPeopleMeet shortly after starting the whole internet dating thing.

First message, one line: 
"i want my baby to come text me 513-***-**** jeremy"

After sending him a polite message letting him know that I was not comfortable giving out my phone number (or calling/texting someone I don't know) I got this lovely response:

"u coulda went to a payphone and called me...since u have no effort n blew me off now i return the favor...now i blow u off...go away"
Followed a few days later with: "u had ur chance fuck off" and a notification I was blocked. As you can imagine, I was heartbroken.


----------



## Fat Brian (Oct 20, 2011)

yoopergirl said:


> ...message from one of the *gentlemen*...



You don't have to call him a gentleman, the guys in this thread mostly go by "douche nozzle".


----------



## yoopergirl (Oct 20, 2011)

Fat Brian said:


> You don't have to call him a gentleman, the guys in this thread mostly go by "douche nozzle".



Lol...douche nozzle is nice, I'll have to keep that one in mind...it would fit very nicely with my 2 favorite insults of the moment - douche canoe and fouchetard (my own personally coined combination of "douchebag" & "f#cktard")


----------



## olwen (Oct 23, 2011)

yoopergirl said:


> Thought I'd share a message from one of the gentlemen I encountered on BBPeopleMeet shortly after starting the whole internet dating thing.
> 
> First message, one line:
> "i want my baby to come text me 513-***-**** jeremy"
> ...



I think it's best to instantly block guys like that then delete their messages. If I had bothered to respond I would have just said no thanks. I wouldn't even get into why he's a presumptuous asshole. Why be so nice to guys who disrespect you? You don't have to explain yourself at all.


----------



## liz (di-va) (Dec 26, 2011)

First/only message: "Beautiful curves!! How is the personality?"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that my PERSONALITY SUCKS ASS. He'll have to find it out for himself View attachment 99713


----------



## CarlaSixx (Dec 26, 2011)

Forgot about this thread. Lol.

Here's a winner I got two weeks ago:

"Wish you had kids. I'm looking for a milf."



.... Ummm... creepy, much? Guy's username is even alluding to looking for an older lady who's a mother.:doh:


----------



## LovelyLiz (Dec 26, 2011)

liz (di-va) said:


> First/only message: "Beautiful curves!! How is the personality?"
> I didn't have the heart to tell him that my PERSONALITY SUCKS ASS. He'll have to find it out for himself View attachment 99713



HA! Your post made me laugh. If you didn't crack me up so consistently with your posts, I would have rep to give you. 

Wtf kind of question is that? "How is the personality?" Sheesh.


----------



## liz (di-va) (Dec 26, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> Wtf kind of question is that? "How is the personality?" Sheesh.



Like he was kicking the tires of a car and asking a third party about what kinda mileage it got. Crazy!


----------



## jayduhgr8 (Dec 26, 2011)

liz (di-va) said:


> First/only message: "Beautiful curves!! How is the personality?"
> I didn't have the heart to tell him that my PERSONALITY SUCKS ASS. He'll have to find it out for himself View attachment 99713



I post on BBW chat zone sometimes and wrote a whole like blog about jackasses who do stuff like this. This is just the tip of the iceberg compared to what I have seen and been shown by friends. On one hand I can respect his honesty more so because he lets you know his intentions from the get go are based on your looks not your personality. And I am willing to wager given the opportunity he wouldn't care if your personality was beautiful or not because his initial message indicated what he was most concerned with. LoL people make me laugh:bow:


----------



## joswitch (Dec 26, 2011)

I got a one liner recently, from a lady in "X town":
"Is (X town) close enough for a relationship, or would you want somone closer?"
Hmmmm... Just a little bit cart-before-the-horse there. 

And don't get me started on the no photo / (half)-hidden-face photo profiles I keep getting hit up from. Wtf.

Not to mention the classic (headless) profile that OKCupid "matched" me with the other day. OMFG. Chick opens by describing herself as "fucked-up" = red flag 1. 
She wants a dude for regular/lots of "no-strings-don't-complicate-it-with-emotions" sex,... but she still wants all the dating-type intimate behaviour / sharing moments associated with an actual relationship. Second red flag. 
The rest of her profile was a litany of the various things she hated about various men = more red flags than the Beijing Olympics. 
I hope she just buys the man-version of the Real Doll, cos she's clearly bad news waiting to happen to some poor bugger(s).


----------



## BBWbonnie (Dec 27, 2011)

Well I had someone ask me if I would pretend he was a little gummybear and I was a big fat giant who comes and gobbles him up....

Bloody weird people out there


----------



## aocutiepi (Dec 27, 2011)

Silly old me was hoping to get a New Year's kiss... so she jumped back into the online dating world. When I got a stock first message "Hi you seem nice" from a basically blank profile, I said, "Tell me about yourself."

His response:



> I like rock music mostly a thick girl would be nice too




Sigh.


----------



## aocutiepi (Dec 27, 2011)

I can't believe I keep talking to this tool. 

After he said that he's had more education than "civilian school" could ever give him when I mentioned the only must for me is an educated man, I responded:

"Is 'civilian school' not a worthy pursuit in your eyes? I've never heard the expression before which is why I ask. I place a high value on my school experience, probably higher than on anything else about me which is why I care so much about it in others. I want an intellectual equal, a sparring partner... someone who watches the news, likes to read and have discussions about religion and politics and the world at large."



> of course i do all that my leader is your government, ive been to more bull shit third world countries and know more about other societies then you do, because ive been to them, ive spoken their languages, ive seen their worlds collapse and crumble, religion, of course theirs a god, but why is he called something else in everyone elses religion? ive done this before with jennifer scharstein, yes i read and watch the news, but i also like, beer, and video games and pizza...



How do you know how many third world countries I've been to? For that matter, how many have you? And who the hell is Jennifer Scharstein?



> iraq, afghanistan, mexico, parts of africa i cannot tell you about... she was this girl i used to talk to while i was in iraq very liberal... me im pretty conservative



You just referenced her like you thought she was someone I should know.

I could never have guessed you were conservative with your "bullshit third world countries" diatribe. As someone who has spent years studying and then observing world culture, I'd also venture a guess that you don't know more about other societies than I do. And I've been to eight third world countries.

So you fought in Iraq, Afghanistan... unnamed places in Africa... I appreciate your service just as I appreciate all people who serve in our military including several dear friends of mine.

On a closing note, I sincerely hope that when you were conversing abroad, you took more care of their languages than you have of the English language in this series of messages.

Good luck to you. 





*
STAB.*


----------



## aocutiepi (Dec 27, 2011)

So, this isn't in the realm of first messages any longer and clearly I don't know when to quit...  But it's kind of funny....



> what ethnic group do the taliban belong to? yeah, exactly, do you know the difference between a sunni and a shiite muslim? and fuck other countries, why dont you stay out of the drum circles take all the metal shit out of your face and wake up... ok, your right our government has lied, we get it, i know you know we all know, but whats most important, is that you college fucks studying european history and going to a european third world country compares nothing to some where like africa, iraq, or afghanistan, or even mexico, these places dont have running water, and if you drink their water, you'll probably end up with a tape worm, or some other fucked up parasite that i have to go and take out of your body lady... and just because im conservative doesnt mean im some back woods hill billy redneck either... it just means the way i dress, i mostly wear jeans and a t shirt a pair of tennis shoes, i keep my shit clean and sqaured away, i do my own laundry i cook my own healthy foods because the shit fast food restraunts feed us really isnt that healthy oh and btw, you dont have to know jenn, you just act like her... ive seen how this works out.... it turned out pretty good other then my insecurities...



I spent several months working in rural hospitals in Latin and South America because I'm studying EPIDEMIOLOGY. You know, the big bad awful diseases that disproportionately affect developing third world countries? You think you have me pegged? Ha. Hilarious.

And I wouldn't trust you near my body to take out a parasite. Ever.

I never said you were a redneck hillbilly, just that with what I gathered from third world countries being "bullshit" that we would never see eye to eye and it was best to let it die. But since you don't seem interested....


Then I went on to answer his questions. Correctly.



> ... Youre right, you and i will never see eye to, its the whole fact that you and i arguing about this kind of turns me on, just sayin... i like your brains =)




Okay, and with that gem, I leave the rest of this thread to funny messages from guys about their penises and the five thousand ways you can apparently spell the word beautiful. :bow:


----------



## Gingembre (Dec 27, 2011)

Yesterday...
Him: Wana ride?

Today...
Him: No reply??
Me: Ok then, no thank you, I would not like a ride.
Him: lmao, i was drunk and i didn't know i had writen that tbh
Me: That does not make it better.

:doh:


----------



## mszwebs (Dec 27, 2011)

Gingembre said:


> Yesterday...
> Him: Wana ride?
> 
> Today...
> ...



Hahahahaha

Oh Sweet Lord.

I've honestly begun looking forward to the messages I get in my POF mailbox, because I know that they're more than likely going to be amazing.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Dec 30, 2011)

They ought to start calling it Puddle Of Filth.  I love reading these.


----------



## psychdocva (Dec 30, 2011)

If you're inclined to read it - I am on POF - find the name "PsyfoDeus"

I really try to write in a friendly form - I know that strangers are reading, thus I avoid the piggishness that I hear is all too common on those pages. I think, more often than not, that people go into online dating and friendships with a fluffy cloud of idealistic expectations - that they often close out - by that rational going in - people that would have them feeling genuinely happy. 

I also set boundaries on my page (religious, friendship) as well as my complete lack of a fluffy cloud of expectations that might sabotage or discourage people from writing to me.


----------



## fatgirlflyin (Dec 31, 2011)

mszwebs said:


> Hahahahaha
> 
> Oh Sweet Lord.
> 
> I've honestly begun looking forward to the messages I get in my POF mailbox, because I know that they're more than likely going to be amazing.



I got one the other day that said, young stud here when you want me...


----------



## BBWbonnie (Dec 31, 2011)

I also had one message say something like...

' I'm looking for someone special in my life who knows maybe that person could be you....'


I wonder if I could be so lucky


----------



## MissHoney (Dec 31, 2011)

This isn't a first message but it's too good not to share.
I chit chatted with a guy from OKC a bit. When he asked to see more pics, I obliged. The conversation went something like this:

Douche: Wow, you really are a big girl!
Me: Yes, I am!
Douche: Hmm. Do you have any hot single friends?

:doh:


----------



## cinnamitch (Dec 31, 2011)

Idiot:
you are so sexy

Moi:
thx

Dickweed:
man i would love to be kissing that beautiful face when i nut

Moi:
um ok, I'm sure when you sober up that's going to look about as stupid to you as you look to me right now. Get a clue, buy a vowel, do whatever you have to do but don't darken my inbox again.


----------



## joswitch (Dec 31, 2011)

Gingembre said:


> Yesterday...
> Him: Wana ride?
> 
> Today...
> ...



So, apparently you were just propositioned by the Drunk Pony of Christmas.
Drunk Pony! He luvs tha' layyydeeeezzz!


----------



## aocutiepi (Jan 1, 2012)

After I gently turn this guy down based on his meh first message and profile that doesn't match what I'm looking for in a guy:




> i think youre missing the point and youre gonna miss out. im cute and have brains. im sure youll find some real winners on the internet....



To which I replied:



> I found you, didn't I?





I mean, he walked right into that one.


----------



## joswitch (Jan 1, 2012)

Lolz!

Winning!


----------



## CastingPearls (Jan 1, 2012)

cinnamitch said:


> Idiot:
> you are so sexy
> 
> Moi:
> ...


'when I nut' or 'bust a nut' always makes me shudder with revulsion probably more than any other sexual description or come-on. *shudders*


----------



## aocutiepi (Jan 2, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> 'when I nut' or 'bust a nut' always makes me shudder with revulsion probably more than any other sexual description or come-on. *shudders*



I still don't understand why some guys think that women think that description is hot. I mean, I've had one message me and say, "I'd love to nut all over that sexy face of yours..."

Who wouldn't drop their panties for that?


----------



## joswitch (Jan 2, 2012)

aocutiepi said:


> I still don't understand why some guys think that women think that description is hot. I mean, I've had one message me and say, "I'd love to nut all over that sexy face of yours..."
> 
> Who wouldn't drop their panties for that?



Prince Nutbuster leads Drunk Pony to provide lay-deez everywhere with free facials and free rides! It's like a spa and gymkhana at the same time!


----------



## LovelyLiz (Jan 2, 2012)

aocutiepi said:


> I still don't understand why some guys think that women think that description is hot. I mean, I've had one message me and say, "I'd love to nut all over that sexy face of yours..."
> 
> Who wouldn't drop their panties for that?



So true. But you don't even need to drop your panties, you just need to lay there and let them use you as a sponge for their cum. It's all in the visual, and not about your pleasure, so feel free to keep your panties on.

Those kinds of comments reflect to me guys that watch a lot of porn and have very little experience in connecting with an actual woman sexually.


----------



## MissHoney (Jan 2, 2012)

Omg, I hate the nut term too! Makes me cringe.


----------



## FatAndProud (Jan 2, 2012)

"Smash or pass" 

LOL Jersey Shore Guido.


"For being a smaller guys sure do like my bigger women but I aint lookin for no relationship just a couple drinks
and a good night"

When guys say things like this, it makes me assume they are looking for a booty call. I am, in no way, looking for a potential husband on the internet, but I would like someone that could respect me for one date.


----------



## aocutiepi (Jan 2, 2012)

mcbeth said:


> Those kinds of comments reflect to me guys that watch a lot of porn and have very little experience in connecting with an actual woman sexually.



YES. Exactly. Because I've not met a real live woman who just looooooves facials. 



FatAndProud said:


> When guys say things like this, it makes me assume they are looking for a booty call. I am, in no way, looking for a potential husband on the internet, but I would like someone that could respect me for one date.



It's not, really, a lot to ask.


----------



## willowmoon (Jan 2, 2012)

mcbeth said:


> Those kinds of comments reflect to me guys that watch a lot of porn and have very little experience in connecting with an actual woman sexually.





aocutiepi said:


> YES. Exactly. Because I've not met a real live woman who just looooooves facials.



@aocutiepi ... WHAT?!?!? I can't believe that -- I'm sure the 280 people visiting the "plus-size paysite board" section of this site (as opposed to the mere 45 in the "lounge") would disagree with that. 

I'm not trying to say that the guys who visit the paysite section predominantly on this site are obsessed with porn ... it's just ... well I don't know how to finish that sentence.


----------



## rellis10 (Jan 2, 2012)

willowmoon said:


> @aocutiepi ... WHAT?!?!? I can't believe that -- I'm sure the 280 people visiting the "plus-size paysite board" section of this site (as opposed to the mere 45 in the "lounge") would disagree with that.
> 
> I'm not trying to say that the guys who visit the paysite section predominantly on this site are obsessed with porn ... it's just ... well I don't know how to finish that sentence.



.... that a sizable proportion of them don't spend much time on the more social side of the forums? :happy:


----------



## willowmoon (Jan 2, 2012)

rellis10 said:


> .... that a sizable proportion of them don't spend much time on the more social side of the forums? :happy:



... or quite possibly that they might develop carpal tunnel syndrome in their early 20's?


----------



## joswitch (Jan 2, 2012)

willowmoon said:


> @aocutiepi ... WHAT?!?!? I can't believe that -- I'm sure the 280 people visiting the "plus-size paysite board" section of this site (as opposed to the mere 45 in the "lounge") would disagree with that.
> 
> I'm not trying to say that the guys who visit the paysite section predominantly on this site are obsessed with porn ... it's just ... well I don't know how to finish that sentence.




If you must whiteknight, at least be funny with it.

lolz or gtfo.


----------



## willowmoon (Jan 2, 2012)

joswitch said:


> If you must whiteknight, at least be funny with it.
> 
> lolz or gtfo.



Just calling it as I see it .... when there's THAT disproportionate of an amount of people on that section as opposed to other sections, what other way is there to interpret it? Still though, I should have known that I'd ruffle some feathers.


----------



## joswitch (Jan 2, 2012)

willowmoon said:


> Just calling it as I see it .... when there's THAT disproportionate of an amount of people on that section as opposed to other sections, what other way is there to interpret it? Still though, I should have known that I'd ruffle some feathers.



Waiter! There's too much NAMALT* on this Filet de Chevalier Blanc! It's triggering my allergies! Take it back and bring me a hot mixed grill of funny!



*Not All Men Are Like That


----------



## MystifyMe (Jan 2, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> 'when I nut' or 'bust a nut' always makes me shudder with revulsion probably more than any other sexual description or come-on. *shudders*



Well im male and have never used let alone heard of this nut term lol


----------



## Lovelyone (Jan 2, 2012)

Lainie, I feel the same way toward those terms. 




CastingPearls said:


> 'when I nut' or 'bust a nut' always makes me shudder with revulsion probably more than any other sexual description or come-on. *shudders*


----------



## Deven (Jan 2, 2012)

I've met a few great friends on OKCupid, so, with my husband's permission, I've kept it open looking for friends. 

Then, I get this wonderful message from a man in NYC (which is several hours away from me.

"Hello. I am a rich man in search of my Anal Princess! Are you her? You will be broken in, and expected to be able to take a **** in your *** at a moment's notice, without lubrication. Think you can handle that, cutie?

I made my money selling marijuana (I am comfortable telling you that because the statute of limitations is up.) I live off of the interest of what I have in the bank, which is over a million dollars. You won't have to work, all you'll have to do is be my Anal Princess, and I will give you anything you want."

Seriously?


----------



## Gingembre (Jan 2, 2012)

DevenDoom said:


> I've met a few great friends on OKCupid, so, with my husband's permission, I've kept it open looking for friends.
> 
> Then, I get this wonderful message from a man in NYC (which is several hours away from me.
> 
> ...



LOL! Who could refuse an offer like that? Especially when you'd get to be an Anal Princess, instead of, y'know, just an anal princess or something. Hehe, dear oh dear!


----------



## SoVerySoft (Jan 2, 2012)

DevenDoom said:


> "Hello. I am a rich man in search of my Anal Princess! Are you her? You will be broken in, and expected to be able to take a **** in your *** at a moment's notice, without lubrication. Think you can handle that, cutie?
> 
> I made my money selling marijuana (I am comfortable telling you that because the statute of limitations is up.) I live off of the interest of what I have in the bank, which is over a million dollars. You won't have to work, all you'll have to do is be my Anal Princess, and I will give you anything you want."



What more could you want than a **** in your *** at a moment's notice? It's a dream come true.


----------



## CastingPearls (Jan 2, 2012)

Gingembre said:


> LOL! Who could refuse an offer like that? Especially when you'd get to be an Anal Princess, instead of, y'know, just an anal princess or something. Hehe, dear oh dear!


It's true the the caps make all the difference. I won't even imagine what the tiara would look like and exactly where the hierarchy is in the Disney lineup. *muses*


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Jan 2, 2012)

Worse yet would be the character wandering around the theme parks signing autographs for kids...


----------



## CastingPearls (Jan 2, 2012)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Worse yet would be the character wandering around the theme parks signing autographs for kids...


I'm thinking she'd rank somewhere between Jasmine (I dunno why--sand in your ass, no lube) and Belle (do I really need to say 'The Beast'?)





I'm going straight to hell.


----------



## Gingembre (Jan 2, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> I'm thinking she'd rank somewhere between Jasmine (I dunno why--sand in your ass, no lube) and Belle (do I really need to say 'The Beast'?)
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Hahaha, it's ok, my musings were along the same lines as yours. I was thinking maybe Pocohontas wouldn't have access to lube, and John Smith and Kocoum both strike me as rough & ready kinda guys, but then I figured that Grandmother Willow would probably guide her to some aloe vera or something...



I'm thinking about this too much.


----------



## CastingPearls (Jan 2, 2012)

Gingembre said:


> Hahaha, it's ok, my musings were along the same lines as yours. I was thinking maybe Pocohontas wouldn't have access to lube, and John Smith and Kocoum both strike me as rough & ready kinda guys, but then I figured that Grandmother Willow would probably guide her to some aloe vera or something...
> 
> 
> 
> I'm thinking about this too much.


If I could give you an Anal Princess tiara for thinking of another good one, I would but evidently, DevenDoom refused her crowning. BOOOOOO HISSSSSSSS


----------



## penguin (Jan 2, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> If I could give you an Anal Princess tiara for thinking of another good one, I would but evidently, DevenDoom refused her crowning. BOOOOOO HISSSSSSSS



I was just wondering what sort of crown the Anal Princess would have. Maybe one with a Claddagh design on it, because whenever I look at those I see goatse.


----------



## Lovelyone (Jan 3, 2012)

I haven't had any good contributions to add to this thread because I removed all of my dating ads many moons ago. When I do come back and read that these crazy guys haven't changed one bit it makes me happy that I haven't decided to post my ads again. I am sorry you lovely ladies have to suffer fools.


----------



## willowmoon (Jan 3, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> I'm thinking she'd rank somewhere between Jasmine (I dunno why--sand in your ass, no lube) and Belle (do I really need to say 'The Beast'?)
> 
> I'm going straight to hell.





Gingembre said:


> Hahaha, it's ok, my musings were along the same lines as yours. I was thinking maybe Pocohontas wouldn't have access to lube, and John Smith and Kocoum both strike me as rough & ready kinda guys, but then I figured that Grandmother Willow would probably guide her to some aloe vera or something...
> 
> I'm thinking about this too much.



*shudders*

I'll never look at the Disney Princesses' line of merchandise the same way ever again.


----------



## CleverBomb (Jan 3, 2012)

Gingembre said:


> LOL! Who could refuse an offer like that? Especially when you'd get to be an Anal Princess, instead of, y'know, just an anal princess or something. Hehe, dear oh dear!


Capitalized, we're talking Perv Disney.
Uncaptalized, it's some rich girl in a fable involving lots of mattresses and a pea.

-Rusty


----------



## aocutiepi (Jan 3, 2012)

DevenDoom said:


> I've met a few great friends on OKCupid, so, with my husband's permission, I've kept it open looking for friends.
> 
> Then, I get this wonderful message from a man in NYC (which is several hours away from me.
> 
> ...




I love that he's so comfortable telling you about his past shady dealings. Very kind of him, lest you think he merely inherited his millions or earned them through... I don't know... something LEGAL. 

And I don't know if I can add anything else to the Anal Princess discussion except... WOW. Man gets straight to business. :doh:



penguin said:


> I was just wondering what sort of crown the Anal Princess would have. Maybe one with a Claddagh design on it, because whenever I look at those I see goatse.



Perhaps it could also be an anal bead diadem? I mean, imagine this with this. I'm thinking that might seal the deal.


----------



## joswitch (Jan 3, 2012)

Then Prince Nutbuster and Anal Princess rode off into the sunset on Drunk Pony and they all lived stickily ever after!


----------



## Lamia (Jan 3, 2012)

I am just thinking what kind of songs would be in Disney's "The Anal Princess"

Now I'm just a girl
living in the world
I am just your average lass
but someday I'll get it in the a##

oh I'll be an ANAL PRINCESS
and won't life be grand?
I'll be an Anal Princess
known throughout the land

What? You want to take me on dates and woo me with words of love
NEXT!!
I am just looking for a sugar daddy
and SURPRISE BUTT SEX!!


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Jan 3, 2012)

I can show you my butt
Jiggly, cellulite-rended
Tell me, mister, now when did
you last spread my cheeks so wide?

I can open my thighs
Let you stare down in wonder
Just flip me over and ponder
my round bunghole's depth and size

An anal worrrrrrrrrrrld
a new fantastic place for you
just stick your dipstick in
and then you win!
Let me share my anal world with youuuuuuuu.



Okay, I've sufficiently grossed myself out now.  









Lamia said:


> I am just thinking what kind of songs would be in Disney's "The Anal Princess"
> 
> Now I'm just a girl
> living in the world
> ...


----------



## CastingPearls (Jan 3, 2012)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> I can show you my butt
> Jiggly, cellulite-rended
> Tell me, mister, now when did
> you last spread my cheeks so wide?
> ...


The scary thing is that I was working on the same song and nearly the same lyrics when I stopped myself and said, no...no...someone has to stop the madness and here we are.

Aren't you all glad I made the Disney connection? You did all the work and I'm so proud. You are my minions and I am your queen. But you are all, every one of you, Anal Princesses. (and for his stellar contributions, Joswitch can be an honorary Anal)


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Jan 3, 2012)

I'll let someone else have my title, thanks.  lol


----------



## FatAndProud (Jan 3, 2012)

I like buttsecks, but the surprise? Not so much.


----------



## mszwebs (Jan 4, 2012)

FatAndProud said:


> I like buttsecks, but the surprise? Not so much.



Iz not surpreese if you are told expect!


----------



## Deven (Jan 6, 2012)

I forgot about posting that. The replies have me in stitches.

He DID write back, when I politely declined, asking me if I had any friends who would be interested!!!


----------



## aocutiepi (Jan 6, 2012)

So, after repeatedly ignoring dude's instant messages of "Hi beautiful":
_
"I want to tell you what I find alluring about BBWs. I wish you would talk to me. I could really use a friend to talk to."_

Finally I gave in. And this is first message:

*Weirdo: Do you bellydance?*

Me: No.

*Weirdo: Do you ever wear jewels in your navel?*

Me: No.

*Weirdo: Why not its a sexy look? What kind do you have?*

Me: I'm not interested... and what do you mean, what kind?
*
Weirdo: Of bellybutton. You know.
*
Me: Do you have a bellybutton fetish?

*Weirdo: I find BBW bellybuttons incredibly sexy.*


This is new territory for me. I've never met someone with a thing for bellybuttons. :blink:


----------



## Dromond (Jan 6, 2012)

For the record, I've heard of it. If you string him long enough, he'll want to frak your belly button.


I've clearly spent way too much time on the Internet. :doh:


----------



## aocutiepi (Jan 6, 2012)

I figured he wasn't alone in his freaky, if there's a fetish out there... I guarantee there are at least two people in this world who have it. I just hadn't heard of it.

I mean, I've gotten the T&A messages and I get the fascination with chubby legs/arms/bellies/chins... but bellybutton was just a new one for me. To each his own. 


I ended the conversation because I knew it would end up like you said, Dromond. I don't think I'm ready for that yet. I guess I've spent too much time online dating and perusing this thread. Haha.


----------



## HDANGEL15 (Jan 8, 2012)

_"I am a 6"-2" White, Self- Employed Professional Mature male
Blond/Brown Hair and Hazel Eyes, Non Smoker and D&D free. I am
Caring, Romantic, Passionate, Cuddly, and like to hold and kiss under
the right circumstances. Love Romance too. It can be lots of fun.
And of course Sex with the right person can be great too. I like to
please. Have lots of Stamina, *can keep it going for hours ( 8 to 10
times a night) if that is what you like,* if not that's OK too. So tell
me what you like to do?_

Also have many interests out side the bedroom. I own and fly an airplane."
*
FIRST msg I received...I worte back 8-10x a nite!!! WTF...you don't look to be in your 20s...
I AM ABOUT QUALITY...not quantity :doh:

he does happen to own / fly a plane...maybe I should reconsider MR ENERGIZER BUNNY *


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Jan 15, 2012)

Today's Plenty of Fish First Messages are brought to you by the letter "D." 

First Message(s) Screenshot #1 shows our friend J (full username, name, cell number and pic erased to protect the dimwitted) who apparently lives by the motto, "If at first you don't succeed, do the _exact same thing_ OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER again!" Notice that this "conversation" is wholly and entirely one-sided with absolutely zero response from me. The letter "D," in this case, is for "Determined." (I'm being kind, here.)

View attachment POF_SS_1.jpg


First Message Screenshot #2, in which the letter "D" stands for "Disgusting," is short and, uh, not-so-sweet. Again, name and face obscured to protect the not-so-tactful.

View attachment POF_SS_2.jpg


----------



## HDANGEL15 (Jan 15, 2012)

HDANGEL15 said:


> *
> 
> he does happen to own / fly a plane...maybe I should reconsider MR ENERGIZER BUNNY *



*I am meeting mr 8-10x a nite today for coffee at 2pm...he wants to take me flying...would any of you do that on THE FIRST DATE?

of course we have talked on the phone, he is pretty cool and sounds like a lot of PHUN...but shockingly *POLYAMOROUS* :doh:

We will be discussing this at length, as I have dated someone in that category, and my limited knowledge of this term is: he can date and be intimate w/multiple women, but it's all acknowledged and consensual...*


----------



## HDANGEL15 (Jan 16, 2012)

HDANGEL15 said:


> *I am meeting mr 8-10x a nite today for coffee at 2pm...he wants to take me flying...would any of you do that on THE FIRST DATE?
> 
> of course we have talked on the phone, he is pretty cool and sounds like a lot of PHUN...but shockingly *POLYAMOROUS* :doh:
> 
> We will be discussing this at length, as I have dated someone in that category, and my limited knowledge of this term is: he can date and be intimate w/multiple women, but it's all acknowledged and consensual...*


this was a slightly painful *date* yesterday...granted it was just coffee...
*OMFG*.....nice guy...but the beige velcro sneakers were a bit of a turn off.....
how this guy could be _Polyamorous_ IDK...cause I can't imagine any woman getting nekid with him......
I am shallow no doubt....but from the minute he got out of his car I WAS PLOTTING HOW THE FK I WOULD GET OUTTA THERE FAST!!! 

I just gracefully said (_after a slightly painful 40 mins_)...this isn't working for me...and departed....
his head was definitely spinning...poor guy


----------



## FatAndProud (Jan 16, 2012)

Omg, I wish I had the balls to just tell someone "this isn't working for me" and get up and leave. Bravo, woman!


----------



## LovelyLiz (Jan 16, 2012)

Sorry it wasn't more fun, HDAngel. But I'm glad you didn't waste any more time for either one of you - nicely done.  And that was cool that you gave him a chance, anyway. I guess that's the upside of coffee dates - they can end as soon as you want! I remember on coffee dates the speed I would drink my coffee was always in direct proportion to how much I liked the guy. If it wasn't happening, I downed that drink at lightning speed!


----------



## HDANGEL15 (Jan 16, 2012)

mcbeth said:


> Sorry it wasn't more fun, HDAngel. But I'm glad you didn't waste any more time for either one of you - nicely done.  And that was cool that you gave him a chance, anyway. I guess that's the upside of coffee dates - they can end as soon as you want! I remember on coffee dates the speed I would drink my coffee was always in direct proportion to how much I liked the guy. If it wasn't happening, I downed that drink at lightning speed!



*that;s so funny you nailed that...it was practically done b4 he sat down LOLOL..
you know I would usually have NOT given this guy a chance...but he sounded fun and had a FREAKING AIRPLANE....I figured I had to at least give it a shot...nothing ventured, nothing gained...*


----------



## FatAndProud (Jan 16, 2012)

I find that if someone brags about material possessions at the get-go....they're not worth it. Just saying  Or maybe I like mysterious, modest guys? Who knows?


----------



## Mishty (Feb 2, 2012)

> hello beautiful
> just wanted u to know that i just came so hard all over the screen because of you
> :$
> it's very embarrassing but i wanted you to know
> ...



The thing is, I only have two photos, one of my face and one of my dog in my lap. . . . . . 


:huh:


----------



## liz (di-va) (Feb 2, 2012)

Mishty said:


> The thing is, I only have two photos, one of my face and one of my dog in my lap. . .


That is beautiful!!


----------



## FatAndProud (Feb 2, 2012)

Mishty said:


> The thing is, I only have two photos, one of my face and one of my dog in my lap. . . . . .
> 
> 
> :huh:



He was probably talking to the dog.


----------



## Mishty (Feb 2, 2012)

liz (di-va) said:


> That is beautiful!!



I know, I may marry him, who knows. 



FatAndProud said:


> He was probably talking to the dog.



I'll bust out my nine, you can jizz all over my face, but you best leave my canine love child out of it,yo!


----------



## Sweet Tooth (Feb 4, 2012)

joswitch said:


> She wants a dude for regular/lots of "no-strings-don't-complicate-it-with-emotions" sex,... but she still wants all the dating-type intimate behaviour / sharing moments associated with an actual relationship. Second red flag.



It had never occurred to me how many women *want* this sort of thing, because mostly what I see is the women saying how used they feel if he doesn't want to move to a relationship after they've been "dating" and sleeping together....until a guy friend told me how many women he had who wanted this. [Keeping my personal analysis out of this, or trying to.] I'm still not entirely sure how many don't just say that thinking they don't want something serious but then get upset that it doesn't turn into something serious, as I've heard that's the flip side of this arrangement.

Okay, I feel like an amateur around you guys, but then I haven't done much online dating at all. Makes my skin crawl to weed through these f*cktards. But the guy who said, "Oh, I guess I'm too old for you. You'd never want to date someone like me. It's too bad because you seem like you'd be great to spend time with."... um, does this work for him? Does this get the pity dates from women who feel bad that he's so undatable?


----------



## FatAndProud (Feb 6, 2012)

On OkCupid:

"im looking for a gf but u have a cute face"

....What the hell?


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Feb 6, 2012)

Katie, your response:

"I'm looking for a bf but u look like u have a tiny penis"


----------



## joswitch (Feb 6, 2012)

FatAndProud said:


> On OkCupid:
> 
> "im looking for a gf but u have a cute face"
> 
> ....What the hell?



Sounds like Drunk Pony is back!


----------



## Mishty (Feb 22, 2012)

Some random BBW site, from a young man of 27,but his photo says more 66,it was very obvious. He sent me this message.

hey did it hurt *you say what* when god dropped you from the sky cause babe ur an angle

text me girl



:wubu:


----------



## willowmoon (Feb 22, 2012)

Mishty said:


> Some random BBW site, from a young man of 27,but his photo says more 66,it was very obvious. He sent me this message.
> 
> hey did it hurt *you say what* when god dropped you from the sky cause babe ur an angle



If only we knew what sort of angle you are ... acute, right, obtuse, or straight. I'll go with an a-cute sometimes-straight angle. 

Math is power!


----------



## joswitch (Feb 22, 2012)

Mishty said:


> Some random BBW site, from a young man of 27,but his photo says more 66,it was very obvious. He sent me this message.
> 
> hey did it hurt *you say what* when god dropped you from the sky cause babe ur an angle
> 
> ...



I hypotenuse he thinks you're acute, but are you the right angle for him? Perhaps you might have a Bermuda holiday together? Cos to sin and tan together is fun. Tri go met him? or maybe not? Life is full of these pythy agonies....

These puns were brought to you by the triangle... and old dead Greek dude maths, I thank you.


----------



## Jeeshcristina (Feb 22, 2012)

joswitch said:


> I hypotenuse he thinks you're acute, but are you the right angle for him? Perhaps you might have a Bermuda holiday together? Cos to sin and tan together is fun. Tri go met him? or maybe not? Life is full of these pythy agonies....
> 
> These puns were brought to you by the triangle... and old dead Greek dude maths, I thank you.



So, so, so punny.


----------



## imaginarydiva21 (Feb 22, 2012)

Ok reading this thread really made me giggle and then i thought about the messages i recieved on POF ....so here goes 


_i would not expect you to have sex on the first meeting for safety reasons, but a 38 year old said the orgasm i gave her with my fingers,was th only secondshe had ever had that way! i would like to give you mulitiple orgasams next time when you feel horny and no one is around come to the DLR station langdon park and i will meet you there. if im an ogre jump back on the train,or come to my warm penthouse flatand slip into my warmed water bed for bouncy sexy skin fun_

_Could we have some naughty adult fun  & let me eat your sexy chicken legs x_

_well im up for some fun if you are! however i need to catch your attention from the other 100 guys always wanting to put there cocks inside of you! why would you choose me over the others i hear you ask?
Because im not like the others im honest and not an arse lol ! i have a sense of humor and most of all which will really get you going im sure.....i am a lottery winner YES i won £10 on saturday! so you could have sex with a lottery winner_
_
you r really sexy, i like your boobs and sure u got nice vagina! i got big dick and am a good liker too, liek to drive crazy on bad,fun? _

that is just a few i have recieved

Had to edit it because i found another very funny one ....

_if we did midgit boxing would u get on your knees and give me a few blows lol xx_


----------



## HDANGEL15 (Feb 22, 2012)

imaginarydiva21 said:


> Ok reading this thread really made me giggle and then i thought about the messages i recieved on POF ....so here goes
> 
> 
> _i would not expect you to have sex on the first meeting for safety reasons, but a 38 year old said the orgasm i gave her with my fingers,was th only secondshe had ever had that way! i would like to give you mulitiple orgasams next time when you feel horny and no one is around come to the DLR station langdon park and i will meet you there. if im an ogre jump back on the train,or come to my warm penthouse flatand slip into my warmed water bed for bouncy sexy skin fun_
> ...


*
OMFG....I don't feel so bad now.....I thought I was the only one that got nothing but SExuAL OFFERS......wooohoo...I am so special
*


----------



## imaginarydiva21 (Feb 22, 2012)

got one today about oranges and bananas soo random


----------



## Dromond (Feb 22, 2012)

imaginarydiva21 said:


> got one today about oranges and bananas soo random



Maybe he's hinting that he's a bit fruity.


----------



## imaginarydiva21 (Feb 22, 2012)

lol maybe he was who knows 

what i want to know is if any guys in here have had any of these messages .....


----------



## Mitchapalooza (Feb 23, 2012)

Ya never know who is on the other end I had been chatting with this woman for a while and just out of the blue she asked: do you eat pussy? I was so horrified i was 18 and from a very straight laced family and the internet was very new to me! I was turned off for sure and apparentlyt she wasnt as classy as i thought


----------



## imaginarydiva21 (Feb 23, 2012)

i know some people come on the internet to get laid but seriously some messages they send what will they really get out of it ?


----------



## willowmoon (Feb 23, 2012)

imaginarydiva21 said:


> i know some people come on the internet to get laid but seriously some messages they send what will they really get out of it ?



Frequent flyer miles on their chronic masturbation card, I'm guessing.


----------



## AuntHen (Feb 23, 2012)

willowmoon said:


> Frequent flyer miles on their chronic masturbation card, I'm guessing.




hahahahahahahahaha!!!


----------



## imaginarydiva21 (Feb 23, 2012)

it wont get them laid though


----------



## liz (di-va) (Feb 24, 2012)

I got this message tonight...still can't believe it

"_Your photo took my breath away. Truly yours is a butt that won't quit. Yesterday morning, I put your picture up in my garage to inspire me while I gapped my spark plugs._ "


----------



## penguin (Feb 24, 2012)

Is gapping the spark plugs the latest euphemism or something?


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Feb 24, 2012)

liz (di-va) said:


> I got this message tonight...still can't believe it
> 
> "_Your photo took my breath away. Truly yours is a butt that won't quit. Yesterday morning, I put your picture up in my garage to inspire me while I gapped my spark plugs._ "


LOL. Because that isn't creepy AT ALL.  LOL


----------



## joswitch (Feb 24, 2012)

liz (di-va) said:


> I got this message tonight...still can't believe it
> 
> "_Your photo took my breath away. Truly yours is a butt that won't quit. Yesterday morning, I put your picture up in my garage to inspire me while I gapped my spark plugs._ "



Dude can fix your car! Must be a winner!


----------



## FatAndProud (Feb 24, 2012)

Gross, this is why I've tried to veer from the internet dating...check this out:

hello shy and nerdy .....you are a cute baby chubby ..ps ...thats a compliment ...get back after you see my profile ....and my user name!!i'm josh 

He says he's 42, but his pictures look straight from Miami Vice or something. I don't know  I'm a bit creeped out, just saying....and anyone knows me knows I prefer older dudes.


----------



## joswitch (Feb 24, 2012)

FatAndProud said:


> Gross, this is why I've tried to veer from the internet dating...check this out:
> 
> hello shy and nerdy .....you are a cute baby chubby ..ps ...thats a compliment ...get back after you see my profile ....and my user name!!i'm josh
> 
> He says he's 42, but his pictures look straight from Miami Vice or something. I don't know  I'm a bit creeped out, just saying....and anyone knows me knows I prefer older dudes.



Does he live on a yacht and keep a pet alligator?


----------



## Diana_Prince245 (Feb 24, 2012)

I don't understandwhy when a girl says, "I only date college-educated men under 45," her inbox fills up with messages from 57-year-old men with HS diplomas. I assume they can't read and ignore them, then they send me nasty messages bitching that I'm ignoring them.

I just don't get it.


----------



## penguin (Feb 24, 2012)

Diana_Prince245 said:


> I don't understandwhy when a girl says, "I only date college-educated men under 4," her inbox fills up with messages from 57-year-old men with HS diplomas. I assume they can't read and ignore them, then they send me nasty messages bitching that I'm ignoring them.
> 
> I just don't get it.



Are there many under 4 with college degrees?


----------



## Diana_Prince245 (Feb 24, 2012)

penguin said:


> Are there many under 4 with college degrees?



They were all born on leap day


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Feb 24, 2012)

Edit: Dangit, two people posted and I neglected to refresh, and the joke has already been made.


----------



## imaginarydiva21 (Feb 25, 2012)

imaginarydiva21 said:


> got one today about oranges and bananas soo random



*well the same guy who messaged me this decided to message me again cos i ignored him and said ...
"Would you be offended if I said I wanted to smash your back doors into smithereens?x"*

hmm :doh:


----------



## joswitch (Feb 25, 2012)

imaginarydiva21 said:


> *well the same guy who messaged me this decided to message me again cos i ignored him and said ...
> "Would you be offended if I said I wanted to smash your back doors into smithereens?x"*
> 
> hmm :doh:



Graduate of the footy hoolie school of charm!


----------



## Diana_Prince245 (Feb 25, 2012)

imaginarydiva21 said:


> well the same guy who messaged me this decided to message me again cos i ignored him and said ...
> "Would you be offended if I said I wanted to smash your back doors into smithereens?x"
> 
> hmm :doh:



I can't imagine why he's single.


----------



## Dromond (Feb 25, 2012)

liz (di-va) said:


> I got this message tonight...still can't believe it
> 
> "_Your photo took my breath away. Truly yours is a butt that won't quit. Yesterday morning, I put your picture up in my garage to inspire me while I gapped my spark plugs._ "



Congratulations, you are part of his spark bank.

*rimshot*


----------



## CarlaSixx (Feb 26, 2012)

I had one guy who says he's 18 on his profile message me asking me to be his prom date, saying he stayed an extra year in high school and having an older woman as his date would make him "look super cool" in front of his friends. Hah.

Another guy ask me for all these sexual favors without ever talking about himself or even apparently noticing anything from my profile.

And then a "stand up comic" messaged me. Oooh fun. Lol.


----------



## Diana_Prince245 (Feb 26, 2012)

I keep my profiles current at dating sites for the humor, cause I'm really not meeting anyone I'd actually date.


----------



## liz (di-va) (Mar 3, 2012)

liz (di-va) said:


> I got this message tonight...still can't believe it
> "_Your photo took my breath away. Truly yours is a butt that won't quit. Yesterday morning, I put your picture up in my garage to inspire me while I gapped my spark plugs._ "



I'm sorry, I'm a jerk. Couldn't resist.

View attachment 101178


----------



## LillyBBBW (Mar 12, 2012)

Diana_Prince245 said:


> I keep my profiles current at dating sites for the humor, cause I'm really not meeting anyone I'd actually date.



I havent updated any of my dating profiles in a long time. I have a brawny stalker out there who will email me within minutes saying, "I see you've updated your profile. Haven't found the man of your dreams yet?" A real creepazoid. Last time I wrote back and told him I'd been storing them in the freezer and it's getting kind of full. I never heard back.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Mar 12, 2012)

LillyBBBW said:


> I havent updated any of my dating profiles in a long time. I have a brawny stalker out there who will email me within minutes saying, "I see you've updated your profile. Haven't found the man of your dreams yet?" A real creepazoid. Last time I wrote back and told him I'd been storing them in the freezer and it's getting kind of full. I never heard back.


LOL, Lills. You could always block the dude, but I guess that wouldn't be as much fun.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Mar 13, 2012)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> LOL, Lills. You could always block the dude, but I guess that wouldn't be as much fun.



Unfortunately email blocking isn't available through my ISP.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Mar 13, 2012)

LillyBBBW said:


> Unfortunately email blocking isn't available through my ISP.


Oh, I thought you meant e-mail through a dating site. Bleh.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Mar 13, 2012)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Oh, I thought you meant e-mail through a dating site. Bleh.



No. This is a guy I dated a while ago. I realized he wasn't the one and when I told him so he didn't take it well. Every now and then I got a nasty message from him from out of the blue and dating site profiles were usually the trigger. I finally told him I never want to hear from him again and so far I haven't but I still get the creeps knowing he's out there tuned in on the dating sites and can see me. Baggage. I'll get over it but it will take a minute.


----------



## AnnMarie (Mar 13, 2012)

> why are your cats trying to kill you? are they evil or are you?




Crazy, but it totally worked. Been seeing him since the end of January.


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## mszwebs (Mar 26, 2012)

> This is forreal I got a hugecock and I need a girl lile u who can handle it all



YES!! It's FORREAL!! I was hoping it was real.



Seriously though... a girl "lile" me? What kind of a girl am I? Is it a fat reference, implying skinny chicks can't take a big dick? OR, is he just making a general assumption about me, based clearly on the fact that my profile says I DON'T WANT A BOOTY CALL lol. Because I absolutely, 100% look like a freak in the sack from my pictures .

Ridiculousness.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Apr 15, 2012)

This FIRST MESSAGE has to be seen to be believed:

View attachment idiot.jpg


He got blocked AND reported. lol. Dumbass.


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## WVMountainrear (Apr 15, 2012)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> This FIRST MESSAGE has to be seen to be believed:



How charming...


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## CastingPearls (Apr 16, 2012)

This was some random on FB:

Hey How are you doing?
My name is james parker and i like to get to know you more..I am on here looking for a serious
relationhip that will be
based on trust and honesty..Do u walk out on your man ? Do you Nag?also what you are looking for
in a relationship... Get
back to me asap

YES SIR, RIGHT AWAY SIR.

Control issues, maybe?


----------



## joswitch (Apr 16, 2012)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> This FIRST MESSAGE has to be seen to be believed:
> 
> View attachment 101891
> 
> ...




Bwahahahahahahahaaaaaa!! Such romance!
Don Juan lives! How could you resist his silver-tongued charm!??


----------



## J34 (May 25, 2012)

This thread can not die, it must live on! Do it for the lolz


----------



## Deven (Jun 16, 2012)

A tumblr called OKCupid Enemies

Some of those profiles.... wow....


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Jun 18, 2012)

DevenDoom said:


> A tumblr called OKCupid Enemies
> 
> Some of those profiles.... wow....



Thank you so much. That site was fantastic. So much time wasted.


----------



## SSBBW Katerina (Jun 19, 2012)

Thanks for the OKCupid Enemies site details. This is exactly why I shall probably never remarry and just not date.... period.:doh: I'll stay single. Even the so called quiet, unassuming, 'still waters' run deep--- with sewage apparently! Clogged with douchebag, self serving, disgusting, wack-assed, troll-like degenerates. Ugghh. i give up.

I refuse to lower my bar and dumb myself down.


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## Deven (Jul 9, 2012)

So, I've been deleting all of the old dating websites that I was subscribed too because I'd like to use the e-mail address I had them all on.

I have hit the Crazy First Messages jackpot and will share a ton of them here:



> ok i have see ur profile and i think am ready to fall in love with ur profile.pls let me know more about u so that i will see if i can marry u as my wife.but u have to know this,am a final year student in the university and am reading ceramics which is am a Art student.i will be waiting for ur reply soon.
> I LOVE U AND I THINK U LOVE ME AS WELL.



I never talked to this next one, but apparently we have "comfortable conversations and I have pledged myself to him. Phone number changed to protect the dater.



> From the very first moment I saw you I knew that we were destined to be together. It has been so long since a woman has captured my attention so fully or made my heart beat the way it did that cool day in May. Your smile lights up my entire spirit. Your laughter fills me with joy, and your mere presence will warm any room. I have no doubt you are the woman Heaven has made especially for me.
> Thank you for the comfortable conversations and for asking me to be yours. Most importantly, thank you for sharing your love and wanting to make me your husband. No matter how slowly or at what distance our courtship developes, I know standing before God and our future family, vowing to be your partner for life, was the easiest decision I could have ever made.
> Each day that passes makes our love for each other grow stronger. Although I know its hard for us to be apart, I know there is nothing that can keep us apart forever. Our desires will continue to stretch across any distance, over every mountain and ocean between us. Nothing can stand between us, and nothing will stop me from meeting you.
> You are my future and nothing can ever keep us from our destiny. I miss you more every day. I am here with open arms where you will some day finally arrive... right where you belong.
> Love Always,plz this is numbre 555-555-5555



I haven't been on the site in two years, but I apparently wrote this guy.



> With regards to your mail which made me smiled all day I wish to say a big thankful to you and extend my gratitude greetings to you for spending your previous moment and energy to write me back and accepting me to be your friend, which I really appreciate a lot. Well, the content of your letter was well understood. I will really love reading from you because that will hold key of happiness to my heart I feel truly blessed having you as my newly friend


----------



## ScreamingChicken (Jul 9, 2012)

I wish I had saved this one first message from Plenty of Fish. In a nutshell, it was a 5 line long run on sentence with some of the worst spelling I have ever seen in my life. It was as if the woman trying send me a text message. I looked on her profile and it followed the same style, as well.

In all fairness, POF was great.I met my baby doll through there (a tall, strawberry blonde SSBBW that has just blown me away) and couldn't be happier :wubu:


----------



## Nenona (Jul 13, 2012)

BeautifulBigD said:


> When I was on POF, I used to get stupid messages; such as...
> "It's my birthday, how about you meet me for some birthday sex?"
> "I'm interesting on you. Want to cuddle in the couch." (Said that exact way)
> "I'm not a very sensitive guy, but I've got a huge penis"
> ...



"Keep throwing pasta at the wall, some of it's gotta stick!"
I seriously think that's what goes through their head when they try stuff like that.

Usually I just get like...guys who want to be Baptist Pastors or have NOTHING in common with me(I do nerdy stuff, computers, I'm interested in social justice and I'm atheist), and then get very angry at me when I say "we have nothing in common..." back to them.
Yes, that's important to me. I like talking. I like discussions. Most of my friends are fellow artists and creatives who enjoy writing/drawing/making music. I just...I can't connect with someone who's just "a guy"--I've tried before, honestly, and he always got angry at me for bringing up things like feminism and once, for "always starting shit" when I brought up my views on religion.

But yeah, that's usually the problem, and yeah, guys like this usually weed themselves out from their subpar messages. I also don't respond to guys who have blank profiles.

Oh, and once a guy tried to impress me by going "I'm a famous football player".
LOL NO dude. I don't even like sports. It says it on both of my profiles.

the other thing I've gotten is "I have a wife and she isn't sexual enough for me so I'm searching for a mistress to have on the side."
Similarly, I don't respond to people in marriages.


----------



## Deven (Jul 14, 2012)

My Very Worst Date is an awesome site.


----------



## Nenona (Jul 18, 2012)

So this guy's message was normal.
"Hi, I don't want kids either, I like your dresses in your profile."

Then I check -his- profile.

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=37363525

....
So we go from slut-shaming
to forcing his fetish on every woman, ever(no I do not like being spanked, no no one will spank me, ever, because I do not like it).
To being a straight-up 'nice guy(tm)' who is upset that women don't fall for him, while he slut shames them and hates them because 'god made him like women'.
And He's 35, and still acts like some of the 17 year olds I can't stand to be around with the "I HATE WOMEN BECAUSE THEY NO LIKE ME." deal.

No, I won't be replying to him. I did share his profile with all my guy friends and we discussed when the proper time to bring up fetishes was--usually on the 2nd or 3rd date, if it's a -major- fetish that's likely to end the relationship/is important to him, like, I dunno, scat play or requiring her to be spanked before you can get your rocks off--and definitely before sexual action happens or you -do- it to her.

Here's what I compared it to.
Going to a restuarant with a girl on the first date, and then ordering a second plate of food for her, and going "I would like to see you eat all of this, and then eat some more, and possibly puke it all up while I hold your hair back. I'd just love to see it."
UNCOMFORTABLE LEVEL 100%
I guess for him he may think it's 'fair warning' to women looking at his profile but people on dating sites--at least if you're not just looking for a hookup--if it's a hookup profile then by all means, just put up your list of fetishes/fantasies, but if you're looking for a relationship--like this guy, I don't -want- to see your fetishes, just like I don't want a picture of a guy's penis on his profile page--that will happen LATER--first I want to know if I have hobbies in common with him, or similar goals in life to him.
With this guy apparently his only hobby is spanking. Big surprise that women keep turning him down for a long-term relationship.


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Jul 18, 2012)

Let me sum his profile up for you:

"I'm an extremely unhappy and angry person. I hate women. No women want me. Women suck!"

He's not only a misogynistic douchebag, but an extremely idiotic one.


----------



## Nenona (Jul 18, 2012)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Let me sum his profile up for you:
> 
> "I'm an extremely unhappy and angry person. I hate women. No women want me. Women suck!"
> 
> He's not only a misogynistic douchebag, but an extremely idiotic one.



Clearly he did not read "writing a dating profile 101".

Dating profiles are -selling- yourself. Half the time guys don't seem to get that.


----------



## CastingPearls (Jul 18, 2012)

His profile is disturbing from the beginning to the very end. At least he's thorough.


----------



## Diana_Prince245 (Jul 18, 2012)

I love it when guys blame women for all their problems when the real issues stem from their own anger and misogyny. Women can smell that shit most of the time.


----------



## Diana_Prince245 (Jul 30, 2012)

I just had this exchange on OKCupid. It amused me.


Dude: I will never find someone 
Me: Definitely not with that attitude and an empty profile. 
Dude: Your mean 
Me: I also know the difference between your (a possessive) and you're (a contraction of you are). It was taught around third grade. 


Dude had nothing in his profile, not even his age. My profile mentions my grammar nazism.


----------



## LeoGibson (Aug 2, 2012)

Diana_Prince245 said:


> I just had this exchange on OKCupid. It amused me.
> 
> 
> Dude: I will never find someone
> ...



I wish I could rep this, it just made me laugh for some reason although I have probably been that dude at some point in my earlier years.


----------



## largenlovely (Aug 3, 2012)

BeautifulBigD said:


> "I'm not a very sensitive guy, but I've got a huge penis"



Lmao that's hilarious..if a guy used that one on me in a joking manner, I would totally date him lol


----------



## Diana_Prince245 (Aug 3, 2012)

LeoGibson said:


> I wish I could rep this, it just made me laugh for some reason although I have probably been that dude at some point in my earlier years.



But you learned when to use your versus you're though, didn't you


----------



## LeoGibson (Aug 3, 2012)

Diana_Prince245 said:


> But you learned when to use your versus you're though, didn't you



My aunt was the Heinrich Himmler of grammar, I had no choice. She had vays of making us learn!


----------



## Diana_Prince245 (Aug 3, 2012)

LeoGibson said:


> My aunt was the Heinrich Himmler of grammar, I had no choice. She had vays of making us learn!



I might be your aunt. Daughter of an English teacher, journalist for 15 years, 10 on the copy desk. Yea, I judge people when they use poor grammar.


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## LeoGibson (Aug 3, 2012)

Diana_Prince245 said:


> I might be your aunt. Daughter of an English teacher, journalist for 15 years, 10 on the copy desk. Yea, I judge people when they use poor grammar.



My personal bent is to try and not judge anyone and to be accepting, but I have to admit, even though I'm just a run of the mill blue collar guy. Grammar counts. Big time. I can't deal with people that can't be bothered to at least learn basic English communication skills. You don't have to speak like an English prof., but you do need to be coherent.


----------



## Diana_Prince245 (Aug 3, 2012)

LeoGibson said:


> My personal bent is to try and not judge anyone and to be accepting, but I have to admit, even though I'm just a run of the mill blue collar guy. Grammar counts. Big time. I can't deal with people that can't be bothered to at least learn basic English communication skills. You don't have to speak like an English prof., but you do need to be coherent.



Oh, I judge them for poor grammar and text speak, but I say that I do so in my profile. They've been warned. Not to mention that most of the ones who have poor grammar are also the ones who say stuff along the lines of, "You have really big tits," because apparently I wouldn't have noticed otherwise.


----------



## CarlaSixx (Aug 3, 2012)

I got this as a message yesterday:

"I bet you're the most beautiful girl of all your friends and unlike them, you don't even have to put effort into it."

I was skeptical. So all I sent was "Thanks."

He sent back: "I've never been with a fat girl before. You're the prettiest one I've seen. Can you be my first?"

.....

....

...

Ugh.

He's actually pretty cute... But I've seen him around town before and he's a pretty pompous asshole.


----------



## Lovelyone (Aug 4, 2012)

When I read the posts in this thread it makes me very happy that I removed ALL of my dating ads off of any dating sites I visited.


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## HDANGEL15 (Aug 4, 2012)

Lovelyone said:


> When I read the posts in this thread it makes me very happy that I removed ALL of my dating ads off of any dating sites I visited.



*2nded and then some...I just lost interest in men generally speaking in the last year....my life is so fuckn simple without them. Besides I have a cat and a kitten, so am on my way to being that crazy OLD cat lady 

on an aside...a few months ago I went on a date with an old bf...and wasn't sure what he was looking for. I think I realized it was just a FB and I have zero interest....and am so glad to not want/need to have to chase him...pats herself on the back, and steps down from her podium*


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## Lovelyone (Aug 4, 2012)

I thought I would escape this thread again cos I removed all of my dating ads...but alas they seem to find me on yahoo IM.

Him: oh are you ssbbw? I love.
Me: (my yahoo screen name has ssbbw in it) NO, sorry I am not an ssbbw
Him: Can you plz send pics?
Me: Can you read? I said I am NOT ssbbw.
Him: But you SN has it in the name of it
Me: oh..the ssbbw in my screen name means "Super Smartmouthed Bust your Balls kind of woman"
Him: nevermind


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## HDANGEL15 (Aug 4, 2012)

Lovelyone said:


> I thought I would escape this thread again cos I removed all of my dating ads...but alas they seem to find me on yahoo IM.
> 
> Him: oh are you ssbbw? I love.
> Me: (my yahoo screen name has ssbbw in it) NO, sorry I am not an ssbbw
> ...



*OMFG....that's why I won't even go on YM anymore...that's all that has me on their lists...is *FETISH WANNA BES**


----------



## BigBrwnSugar1 (Aug 7, 2012)

Lovelyone said:


> I thought I would escape this thread again cos I removed all of my dating ads...but alas they seem to find me on yahoo IM.
> 
> Him: oh are you ssbbw? I love.
> Me: (my yahoo screen name has ssbbw in it) NO, sorry I am not an ssbbw
> ...



Lovelyone, you definitely dodged a bullet. I absolutely positively unequivocally believe that men are only interested in fat women for sex and nothing else. That has been my experience time and time again.


----------



## yoopergirl (Aug 8, 2012)

I logged on to one of my profiles for the first time in a long time the other day, and found an old unread message that simply said "You look like you have nice tits. I like big tits."

Super classy. I was extremely sorry to see that his profile had been removed from the site. He could have been "The One"!


----------



## Diana_Prince245 (Aug 9, 2012)

yoopergirl said:


> I logged on to one of my profiles for the first time in a long time the other day, and found an old unread message that simply said "You look like you have nice tits. I like big tits."
> 
> Super classy. I was extremely sorry to see that his profile had been removed from the site. He could have been "The One"!



I seriously love those guys. I mean what woman isn't attracted to that kind of sexy talk


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Aug 11, 2012)

I have to give this guy credit - this is the ONLY message I have EVER gotten that started with this line:

"Are you open to being bred?"


----------



## cinnamitch (Aug 11, 2012)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> I have to give this guy credit - this is the ONLY message I have EVER gotten that started with this line:
> 
> "Are you open to being bred?"



You should have said "only rye, I hate wheat"


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## BigBeautifulMe (Aug 11, 2012)

Hahaha. I might just do that!


----------



## BigBeautifulMe (Aug 11, 2012)

His response was a disappointing "Cute. I am looking for something real. I wish you well." So anticlimactic. Haha.


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## SuperMishe (Aug 14, 2012)

I was lucky enough to get an email from Steven Wright today. I thought - wow, that famous Boston comedian is an FA??... but now I'm not so sure it's really from him.... hmm...?

****************************
Angel walk with one like you in the silence of the night and in the day,when you can feel each step, each sigh, when warmth of your hand can share your emotional state and each word takes on special significance and reflects the unique attitude to each other - could everything go beyond your wildest dreams. You dearly mean a lot to the world remember it always in spite of everything as you dream what you want to dream go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you only have one life to live and one chance to do all the things you want to do I adore you!good to write you,I hope to find someone who Love Generously,Care Deeply.romantic,someone genuine,honest, funny, sarcastic,loyal, optimistic,even tempered, and romantic, and thoughtful,but fact is that i am interested in you cos you are a beautiful woman and appears to be my best choice in a woman would really like to want to know you better if you cares......i got you from www.ssbbwsingles.com



Much Love
Steven Wrights


----------



## ValentineBBW (Aug 16, 2012)

SuperMishe said:


> I was lucky enough to get an email from Steven Wright today. I thought - wow, that famous Boston comedian is an FA??... but now I'm not so sure it's really from him.... hmm...?
> 
> ****************************
> Angel walk with one like you in the silence of the night and in the day,when you can feel each step, each sigh, when warmth of your hand can share your emotional state and each word takes on special significance and reflects the unique attitude to each other - could everything go beyond your wildest dreams. You dearly mean a lot to the world remember it always in spite of everything as you dream what you want to dream go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you only have one life to live and one chance to do all the things you want to do I adore you!good to write you,I hope to find someone who Love Generously,Care Deeply.romantic,someone genuine,honest, funny, sarcastic,loyal, optimistic,even tempered, and romantic, and thoughtful,but fact is that i am interested in you cos you are a beautiful woman and appears to be my best choice in a woman would really like to want to know you better if you cares......i got you from www.ssbbwsingles.com
> ...


 

LOL I received the same email and thought the same thing!:happy:


----------



## PamelaLois (Aug 16, 2012)

SuperMishe said:


> Angel walk with one like you in the silence of the night and in the day,when you can feel each step, each sigh, when warmth of your hand can share your emotional state and each word takes on special significance and reflects the unique attitude to each other - could everything go beyond your wildest dreams. You dearly mean a lot to the world remember it always in spite of everything as you dream what you want to dream go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you only have one life to live and one chance to do all the things you want to do I adore you!good to write you,I hope to find someone who Love Generously,Care Deeply.romantic,someone genuine,honest, funny, sarcastic,loyal, optimistic,even tempered, and romantic, and thoughtful,but fact is that i am interested in you cos you are a beautiful woman and appears to be my best choice in a woman would really like to want to know you better if you cares......i got you from www.ssbbwsingles.com
> 
> 
> 
> ...



<<gag>> all the syrup dripping from this poorly written message is ruining my monitor


----------



## ValentineBBW (Aug 17, 2012)

PamelaLois said:


> <<gag>> all the syrup dripping from this poorly written message is ruining my monitor



I get so many of these syrupy sweet sappy emails that it isn't even funny. I can't decide if it is the same guy creating many, many different accounts or if all men looking for ssbbw are this lame.


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## Lamia (Oct 27, 2012)

mcgroober (10/26/12 11:36:37 PM): I have a question
khanada (11:45:46 PM): yes?
mcgroober (11:46:03 PM): do you prefer big or small?
khanada (11:46:58 PM): I think small banded groots make better pets, but big ones are better for guard groots
mcgroober (11:47:11 PM): cocks
khanada (11:47:38 PM): well the cocks are are more aggresive than the hens this is true


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## Aust99 (Oct 27, 2012)

Lamia said:


> mcgroober (10/26/12 11:36:37 PM): I have a question
> khanada (11:45:46 PM): yes?
> mcgroober (11:46:03 PM): do you prefer big or small?
> khanada (11:46:58 PM): I think small banded groots make better pets, but big ones are better for guard groots
> ...



Touché!


My last experience with Internet dating was so horrible I'm extremely reluctant to ever do it again.


----------



## largenlovely (Nov 11, 2012)

Found this in my email:

Are you really 38? If so, that's a shame because you're like my dream woman

---------------------------------------------

Yeah, uh who wouldn't respond to that. Whatta charmer lol


----------



## Pandasaur (Nov 11, 2012)

One of my favorites, not even half way through the introductions:

'I always wanted to be attracted to a black lady.'

Oo I guess his goal has been accomplished?


----------



## largenlovely (Dec 6, 2012)

I dunno if this counts but it was particularly creepy. I got this email back in my modeling days...I was searching through an email account for something and just happened to see it and was reminded of it

Melissa can you do me a favor? Can you send me a lock of hair, a fingernail clipping and a small vial of blood? I want to make a clone of ya.

I know he meant it to be funny but yikes lol...u don't do that shit and not expect the girl to be creeped out even if it's a joke lol


----------



## spiritangel (Dec 6, 2012)

So glad this thread got revived there is some funny funny stuff here

and that is just creepy shudders wish I could remember some of my recent ones I seem to be getting a lot of lets hook up heres my numbers but not that many as I haven't been spending time on dating sites and only have one account left and I mostly use that to chat in the bbw chatroom more than anything.


----------



## Oona (Dec 6, 2012)

cinnamitch said:


> You should have said "only rye, I hate wheat"



lol just reading through old threads and saw this.... I laughed so loud it startled my boss who is in the office next to me...


----------



## largenlovely (Dec 6, 2012)

spiritangel said:


> I haven't been spending time on dating sites



I took myself off of okcupid and pof too. I need a break from the asshole losers that's been chatting me up lol.

Thankfully I haven't received an "it puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again" type messages since the one listed above though lol


----------



## gogogal (Feb 24, 2013)

This thread makes me laugh out loud. I just got this one and I don't even know where to begin with it (I'll note also that I don't have children and my profile is pretty clear about that). Copy and pasted, I can't take credit for the creative grammar and spelling. 

"GIRL YOU SO FINE ID EAT YOU WITH A FORK. I AINT YER BABYDADDY. THE MAN YOU LAID WITH IS THE FATHER OF YER CHILD!!! IF YOU AINT GETTIN CHILD SUPORT YER OFICCIALY.... STUPID!!! BUT GIRL ID BE YOUR DAADDY. YOU SKYPE? HIT ME UP ********* ON CAM SHOW ME WHAT YER WORKIN WIT!! BEST WAY TO DESRIVE ME..... HANSOME AND REFRESHING!!!! YOU SO SEXCY LADY. IF YER OVER 30 AND SINGLE, ITS YOU!!!!"

Eat me with a fork?! This guy is clearly off his meds. After careful deliberation, weighing of all pros and cons, I have thoughtfully decided that I will not be showing this fine upstanding gentleman what I am "working wit". 

P.S. If I had a dime for every online Moroccan man offering me his sheep in exchange for my hand in marriage, I would have a lot of dimes.


----------



## CaAggieGirl (Feb 24, 2013)

I have one for you. It's from real life and not Internet dating. I have had this same thing said to me multiple times by different men, in two different states!

Me standing in a check out line
Him: damn girl you are tall (I'm 6'1")
Me: ummm yep
Him: I'd love to have your legs wrapped around me
Me: ( look of "are you freaking serious")

What part of the brain makes them think this is okay to say to a complete stranger. Not even a "Hi, how are you" or "excuse me, beautiful". And where in the heck is this written down that says it is a good pick up line so multiple men are using it? :doh:


----------



## b0nnie (Mar 1, 2013)

Him: olá sexy girl! you feel good?? hum?? kiss in you!!

Me: huh...no

Him: yes....

Me: no, i'm not interested

Him: u are big girl, hugly and very very fat... you like a animal.. shit...

Me: yup i'm fat and i'm still not interested in you

Him: fuck you bicth...

Me: lol.....yes i'm a fat and a bitch and i'm still not interested in you

Him: ok bicht fat...


----------



## FatAndProud (Mar 2, 2013)

Him: I'm shoveling snow and cleaning house today.
Me: Do mine, next!
Him: No prob, I will be right over.
Me: Nice 
Him: Wouldn't want you to have to exert yourself lol. You can just chill and I will shovel/snow blow.
Me: lol sounds good to me!
Him: lol then I will go to taco bell for you......awkward pause........or where ever you want.
Me: lol
Him: Well, if you want something, you should have it!

Damn, he's gonna spoil me and shit with Taco Bell and diarrhea!


----------



## cinnamitch (Mar 2, 2013)

Wicked
Do u suck gud dick

Cindy
Do you?

Wicked
I eat pu**y if u suck good c**k i think ur beautiful very

Cindy
well, im sure you think you are impressing me, but no you aren't.

Quality stuff there.


----------



## Dromond (Mar 2, 2013)

Some smooth operators showcased in this thread.


----------



## spiritangel (Mar 2, 2013)

You know the next time someone tells me I am too amazing to be single I am gonna send them to this thread and say now you see the reason why


----------



## KittyKitten (Mar 3, 2013)

For some reason, many guys think that there is a separate behavior on the internet versus real life. They think that they can talk to or treat women any kind of way, because to them, online dating means no strings attached sex. But not every woman is looking for NSA sex. The rules should still apply.


----------



## Mathias (Mar 19, 2013)

In the rare chance I actually do get a message it's: "Why are you in a wheechair? or "Are you paralyzed?" or some combination of the two. :doh: I give up.


----------



## ClashCityRocker (Mar 19, 2013)

KittyKitten said:


> For some reason, many guys think that there is a separate behavior on the internet versus real life. They think that they can talk to or treat women any kind of way, because to them, online dating means no strings attached sex. But not every woman is looking for NSA sex. The rules should still apply.



i think, for a lotta guys, there's safety in knowing that you can't get slapped, spat on or maced over the internet. sad truth. i've never engaged in internet dating, so i can only speculate, but that's my 2 cents.


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## 1love_emily (Mar 19, 2013)

I was on OkCupid (which I don't recommend!) and the best message I've gotten thus far is 
"Hey there, how are you? good? " - 4:52 pm
"Why don't you answer me?" - 5:04 pm
"You sexy" - 5:15 pm
"Hey" - 12:36 am

All by the same guy. 

And one person sent me a 
"FUCK YOU FATTY".
That's about it though.


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## JonesT (Apr 2, 2013)

You know, I actually had a GUY message me on MySpace IM (back when MySpace was popular) and tell me to talk dirty to him. I told him that I was straight but he kept insisting. He even offered to show me a dirty picture of his girlfriend. That has to be the weirdest one for me.


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## b0nnie (Apr 2, 2013)

From OKCupid


*Him:* Only a woman looking to get fucked would use a dating site at 3 in the morning, I'm 20, fit, well hung (8 inches and THICK) and an attentive lover, hit me up if you're interested 

*Me:* Or a woman that has a seriously bad case of insomnia.

Only a boy would make assumptions like that and only a boy would think that the size of his penis matters. 


I didn't hear back from him again.


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## BeachLovinBBW (Apr 13, 2013)

I've been on a few sites, met lots of people, made some really cool friends for life and I find it mostly hilarious and utterly entertaining. However, every so often I am just baffled at some of the things boys/men have the brass ones to actually say. I got a message from a guy that only said "Now there's a MILF." I didn't respond, but OMG who does that actually work on????


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## Amaranthine (Aug 22, 2013)

This thread really needs to get going again. This killed me, for whatever reason: 


"In order to be a little different, here's some fun questions for you: 
1. Last place you went out to eat? 
2. Favorite place you've traveled to? 
3. Percentage of women (your height/weight) you could beat in a wrestling/grappling match?  "


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Aug 22, 2013)

Amaranthine said:


> This thread really needs to get going again. This killed me, for whatever reason:
> 
> 
> "In order to be a little different, here's some fun questions for you:
> ...



Lol, now I'm wondering how long he took to make up this "clever disguise" for what he really wanted to know?


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## spiritangel (Aug 23, 2013)

I got a random fb message the other day 

basic gist was

I have big cock, we should get married (in much poorer english)


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## BigBeautifulMe (Aug 23, 2013)

Did you say "Unless there's currently a diamond ring on it that's really not going to entice me to marry you?" LOL


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## spiritangel (Aug 23, 2013)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Did you say "Unless there's currently a diamond ring on it that's really not going to entice me to marry you?" LOL



no I did not think of that I just blocked and deleted but hahahahahahaha


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## Oona (Aug 23, 2013)

"Those natural???"

What kind of person starts off with that? -_-


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## wjn319 (Aug 23, 2013)

Oona said:


> "Those natural???"
> 
> What kind of person starts off with that? -_-



Valid question but not as a lead in....


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## Dromond (Aug 23, 2013)

It's not a valid question at any time. If she wants you to know, she'll let you know.


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## wjn319 (Aug 23, 2013)

Dromond said:


> It's not a valid question at any time. If she wants you to know, she'll let you know.



I was kidding.


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## Dromond (Aug 23, 2013)

It's difficult to tell when there is no smilie involved.


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## wjn319 (Aug 23, 2013)

Dromond said:


> It's difficult to tell when there is no smilie involved.



Sorry....I guess I'm not that savvy when it comes to Internet protocols.


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## Yakatori (Aug 23, 2013)

Funny, thing-is, I took the ellipses as waiting for applause?


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## DKnight00 (Aug 24, 2013)

This thread is insane ! Had a good laugh ! (quite a few )


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## joswitch (Aug 28, 2013)

Oona said:


> "Those natural???"
> 
> What kind of person starts off with that? -_-



Someone with a silicone allergy?


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## bbwbud (Sep 6, 2013)

Wait, let me ask my attorney, Jackie Chiles, if they are natural...

Jackie: "They're real, and they're spec-tacular!"

Thank you, Jackie...


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## spiritangel (Sep 26, 2013)

I kid you not

hello pussie pie I just love bbws


ugh can we say instant block


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## reuben6380 (Sep 26, 2013)

No one will ever find your body....as attractive as i do!

60% of the Time, It Works Every Time


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Sep 26, 2013)

spiritangel said:


> I kid you not
> 
> hello pussie pie I just love bbws
> 
> ...



bahahaha, you have to admire that he spelled "pussy" with an ie. He was going for that intellectual feel.


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## MRdobolina (Sep 26, 2013)

iono .. the IE in the end gives the harmless vibe to me


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## FatAndProud (Sep 26, 2013)

My messages:

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Hi


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## HeavyDuty24 (Sep 27, 2013)

Probably the craziest one i got was one time a skinny girl saying she wanted me to dominate her and she liked that i was big and i was skinny. I was like wtf lol. I know it's not uncommon for someone to be into that kind of stuff just never had it happen to me before. I don't even know if she was a girl for that matter. She had pics up, but could have been fake lmao.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Sep 27, 2013)

HeavyDuty24 said:


> Probably the craziest one i got was one time a skinny girl saying she wanted me to dominate her and she liked that i was big and she was skinny. I was like wtf lol. I know it's not uncommon for someone to be into that kind of stuff just never had it happen to me before. I don't even know if she was a girl for that matter. She had pics up, but could have been fake lmao.




i was big and she was skinny i mean.


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## Mitchapalooza (Sep 30, 2013)

HeavyDuty24 said:


> i was big and she was skinny i mean.



One lady came out.of nowhere and asked: do you eat pussy? It embarrased me so I never responded lol


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## Mitchapalooza (Sep 30, 2013)

HeavyDuty24 said:


> i was big and she was skinny i mean.



So... what was your response


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