# Do You Think You're The Same Person Online As In Real Life



## Ben from England (Jun 20, 2008)

I was chatting with a friend the other day about the rise of Internet dating (one third of marriages now according to who I was talking to. Can't be bothered to look it up and see if he's right, but I was kinda amazed), and socializing on the net in general, and we got to wondering about the extent to which, with all the inherent differences between various types of communication, we project vastly different representations of ourselves depending on the medium. So, do you think that you're generally the same on the phone, online and in person? Have you ever met anyone who's totally different in person than they were online or over the phone (like, not a serial killer or anything, just a different kind of personality)?


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## Tad (Jun 20, 2008)

I don't think I'm much different on-line compared to at times in real life. But you know how people will be different, for example, with their friends than with their partner than at work? I think on-line it makes those setting specific behaviors easier.


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## activistfatgirl (Jun 20, 2008)

I try not to be too different, but I really wonder about it sometimes. I was telling James when I met him briefly last week that I always have this anxiety before meeting in real life someone who knows me online, always centered around the coming together of two possible personas.

One thing that's for sure, I'm a bit less shy online than I am in real life. I'd love to hear what others thought who have met me, but maybe that's for a different thread.

Good question, Ben!


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## kitcatz (Jun 20, 2008)

yeah, I feel like I am, but it is easier to say things online that you would normally hold back a little before telling people some things.


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## TraciJo67 (Jun 20, 2008)

I'm a man in real life.

In fact, I'm Richard Gere.


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## stan_der_man (Jun 20, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> I'm a man in real life.
> 
> In fact, I'm Richard Gere.



Rumor has it that in person TJ is actually very kind, polite, likes to wear pink dresses and has a high squeaky voice.


As for me I would say yes... This one persona of mine keeps my hands full as it is.


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## mossystate (Jun 20, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> I'm a man in real life.
> 
> In fact, I'm Richard Gere.




Baby, I am so your fat prostitute. Now, hand over the sapphires.


On a slightly more serious note ( Traci brings out the hooker in me..as she was knocking ). How I am here, is part of how and who I am in real life. I don't think a person can fake aspects of their personality...at least not for a very long time. I am shy-ish in real life...to a point. When I feel comfy with a person/people, then I naturally show humor/quiet/loudness/sarcasm/kindness/concern/listening abilities..you know....me. Comfy might take all of 2 minutes..might take longer. I know how to navigate pretty much any situation, in terms of appropriate behavior. I am pretty good at reading people, so I tailor my involvement accordingly. But, the bottom line is.....this is me.


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## Tooz (Jun 20, 2008)

I try to be. No clue if I succeed or not.


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## Ivy (Jun 20, 2008)

I'm way more outgoing online. I'm pretty shy in real life.


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## Gingembre (Jun 20, 2008)

I'm the same online as I am in real life. The only difference is that in real life I can be quite shy when I first meet people....I'll very rarely make the first move to talk to people, particularly if I'm alone. How I am online is how I am with my friends and people I've known for a while. However, if I've been chatting to people online and then meet them for real, I'm still shy! But only for a bit


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## ashmamma84 (Jun 20, 2008)

I'm pretty talkative and outgoing irl...I'm really warm, bubbly and really 
smile-y. So I guess I'm the same here and in person. The only thing people don't expect is how short I am...dunno why though.


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## thatgirl08 (Jun 20, 2008)

I'm also more outgoing online, although I'm not really all that shy in real life, but certain things I may be more hesitant to say are easier to say online. I think I'm generally the same person, but I don't feel like you can truly know someone until you spend time with them in real life because thats just some things that are left out, not necessarily intentionally...but things that just don't come up in conversation, body language, that sort of thing. I always get nervous because I meet someone in real life that I've met on the internet because I'm afraid that they are going to be surprised by something, or not like me as much as they originally thought. And yes, I've been in the position of meeting someone that didn't present themselves accurately online, and it was an awkward situation for the both of us. I think thats one of the reasons meeting people online can be so tricky, because you may feel like you know a person but you never truly know until you meet.


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## Russell Williams (Jun 20, 2008)

That would be for those here who actually know me personally and online to say. The average of their opinions might be more likely to be accurate than for me to give my own opinion.

Yours truly,

Russell Williams


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## BothGunsBlazing (Jun 20, 2008)

I'm more myself online now than I've ever been. I think it's just better to try to remain as true to yourself as you can on here and try to convey who you really are. I do understand the shyness though. I can be pretty off the wall on here, but in person I am probably much more shy. At first, of course. So, yeah, I'd say online and real left mirror each other at this point for the most part.


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## goofy girl (Jun 20, 2008)

I'm definitely the same online and in person, but I find it *easier* to be myself online.


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## Tad (Jun 20, 2008)

ashmamma84 said:


> I'm pretty talkative and outgoing irl...I'm really warm, bubbly and really
> smile-y. So I guess I'm the same here and in person. The only thing people don't expect is how short I am...dunno why though.



You totally read as 5'8".

And I'm only in part being silly. I don't know why, but I thought you were tall.


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## Ben from England (Jun 20, 2008)

I thinks its interesting that someone may feel more comfortable in one setting as opposed to another, and that you'd get a dramatically different impression of them depending on how you were communicating with them. I don't think it's necessarily a conscious choice to be 'true to yourself', I just think we are increasingly living in an environment where the methods by which we interact require a different set of skills.


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## Zandoz (Jun 20, 2008)

Actually, I'm closer to being who I really am online than in person. Because I can see and edit what I am typing online, I have a chance of actually expressing myself in ways that actually reflect what is on my mind. I have a really hard time communicating "live", so for the most part I just don't.


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## ashmamma84 (Jun 20, 2008)

edx said:


> You totally read as 5'8".
> 
> And I'm only in part being silly. I don't know why, but I thought you were tall.



Hahahaha! Yeah, I get it all the time! I don't know what that's about, maybe I've got a big personality . I am such a shorty though...


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## Suze (Jun 20, 2008)

Gingembre said:


> I'm the same online as I am in real life. The only difference is that in real life I can be quite shy when I first meet people....I'll very rarely make the first move to talk to people, particularly if I'm alone. How I am online is how I am with my friends and people I've known for a while. However, if I've been chatting to people online and then meet them for real, I'm still shy! But only for a bit


I second this. I am myself as much as my grammar allows me...(if that made sense.) but IRL I'm a bit more shy in certain situations. 
I've never met people from teh webz, so that I don't know!


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## Dr. Feelgood (Jun 20, 2008)

Of course I am different online from what I am in person: online, I am a collection of words, and words are a very limited form of expression easily misinterpreted. In person I am a collection of impressions combining words with intonation, gestures, facial expressions -- all of which may leave a different impression. In either case, however, I exist only as your perception of me.


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## largenlovely (Jun 20, 2008)

I actually wear more clothes in real life than i do online lol

I'm probably surprisingly shy compared to what i'd imagine folks to think. Though the last bash doesn't count cuz i was drunk and i usually don't drink lol. But i've been told that i come across as quite reserved, or at least until i know someone better.


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## dragorat (Jun 20, 2008)

*I'm pretty much the same both places.Although I'd say I'm a little more open here.In real life(except at work) I'm not quite as open with new people til I get to know them.Also at work I have to hold back from complimenting all the beauties I see because it could be taken as harrassment.I still try to give them a nice smile & pleasant greetings.All in all what you see is what you get...
*


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## Suze (Jun 20, 2008)

kitcatz said:


> Yeah...and I am a cowboy cheerleader



don't throw rocks in glass cages:happy:


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## wrestlingguy (Jun 20, 2008)

No, I'm much meaner & condescending in real life..............................

Actually, people I've met over the years online who thought I was a very tough person to deal with have found me to be completely different (nicer) in person.

Most, that is..........................


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## largenlovely (Jun 20, 2008)

well ya know i love ya to pieces  online AND in real life lol



wrestlingguy said:


> No, I'm much meaner & condescending in real life..............................
> 
> Actually, people I've met over the years online who thought I was a very tough person to deal with have found me to be completely different (nicer) in person.
> 
> Most, that is..........................


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## KendraLee (Jun 20, 2008)

I'm right on board with everyone that says they are probably more shy in person, at least at first. I try to always write what I truely feel and think when posting so that about me is real. But to define my personality is really hard for me because even in person I'm a different person to different people. Friends, family and coworkers all see me a different way. I think I might have multiple personality disorder because one day I can be this outgoing, vivacious person who is silly (my family never see's that person- they get the responsible, overbearing but caring perfectionist) and another day I can be the introspective, thoughtful, loner who just wants to be left alone to read a book. All of these personalities are me and I'm sure there are more out there. I just need to find a psychiatrist to integrate them. So whichever person you get online is the person I am for that day.


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## The Fez (Jun 20, 2008)

I'm a little more open about political opinions and the like online, but that's it. I'm as care-free and up for a laugh in person as I am on the interwebs


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## James (Jun 20, 2008)

activistfatgirl said:


> I try not to be too different, but I really wonder about it sometimes. I was telling James when I met him briefly last week that I always have this anxiety before meeting in real life someone who knows me online, always centered around the coming together of two possible personas.
> 
> One thing that's for sure, I'm a bit less shy online than I am in real life. I'd love to hear what others thought who have met me, but maybe that's for a different thread.
> 
> Good question, Ben!


 
It is a good question. I'd like to hope I come across pretty much the same online as I do in real life... and vice versa. I thought you did. Thanks again for the crazy root beer mission and fat acceptance chat. It was the highlight of my 7000 mile journey back to blighty 

I think its normal for there to be small differences between personas. Its natural for people to present themselves in the way they want to be seen here and at other places online. As long as people dont lie outright about who they are and what they represent, I have no issue with that.

I remember a thread you started a couple of years ago about double myspace FAs and the like which comes to mind. Whilst small differences arent fraudulent, presenting oneself as one thing, and then being something totally different in real life seems pretty dumb...(not to mention hard work!)


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## Keb (Jun 20, 2008)

I think I'm more forward and outgoing online. My sister says I'm more like "me" online than off.


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## dollfin (Jun 20, 2008)

I have a tendency to be on the reserved side - until I can no longer restrain my warped sense of humour and then oh do I get my arse in trouble.


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## Szombathy (Jun 20, 2008)

I think it's very interesting that so many people feel more open to say things online and are more timid in person. Actually, I feel the opposite way. The fact that many faceless, nameless people might be reading what I have to say makes me somewhat shyer than I am in real life. And there's also the knowledge that every dumb thing I might say is potentially recorded for posterity in cyberspace. And I generally find that anything useful I'd have to say is always said by someone else before me.


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## lougenessis (Jun 20, 2008)

I'm the same on line as I am in person. I don't like to play games with people's emotions. I don't want to be hurt, so I don't hurt others. I am what I am, take me or leave me.


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## BrownEyedChica (Jun 20, 2008)

Me, I wanna say, I'm pretty much the same person online and in real life.. but ofcourse, I'm less shy online.


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## jdinmi (Jun 20, 2008)

When somebody gets to know me well, I'm pretty much the same, although I'm more likely to share my opinions about things like politics or religion or other controversial things online than in real life. In person I'll keep my mouth shut rather than get into a disagreement.

When I don't know somebody well I'm a lot more outgoing online. That almost got me into trouble with my girlfriend at first. We worked together and ended up exchanging e-mails and chatting online a lot, and I was much friendlier online than at work. She thought I might be one of those guys who I've seen people complain about here, who will have fun joking and flirting with the fat girl in private but then pretends like he doesn't know her in public. But then she saw I'm just kind of aloof and anti-social in person with everybody I don't know well, and it was all good.


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## Chimpi (Jun 21, 2008)

I'm the same person online and offline - in a collective, average fashion.
In real life, there are days when I am totally out of element from who I normally present myself as, and there are also days when I'm just me. Same goes for online. I like to think of it in the sense that I am always myself, I am just ever-changing throughout the days and over the course of time. I do not think I have ever misrepresented myself in either occasion.

Some people in real life see me as a very reserved, negative human being. Some people in real life see me as an incredibly genuine person with positive feelings and an enlightening personality. Some people online see me as a very blunt, yet care-free individual whom is not very opinionated. Some people online see me as a very outgoing individual with a smooth sense of humor and pristine politeness.
It all varies, it is all a combination of my various emotions and characteristics, and it always has to do with how I feel that day.


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## ripley (Jun 21, 2008)

I'm not sure! I never set out to be fake, but I do think I'm more flirtatious online...offline I am shy and reserved.


I'd like to echo several other people and say that I'd like to hear what others have though, who have met me in person.


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## Lastminute.Tom (Jun 21, 2008)

I guess I'm more open online because I'm not worried about being judged, I try not to be worried about being judged offline but I still get pangs of fear now and then or if I'm really stressed, but other than that we're the same person aren't we? Yes we are.


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## Raqui (Jun 21, 2008)

Well I say Yes I am a bit diffrent in real life. Most think I am a party girl all over the place and with my Radio Show now they think I am quite a nut LOL

But my work personality and my regular everyday personality is a bit diffrent. When I am performing or working for the public I am a little more out there. In general I am the one sitting in the corner relaxing and on the quite side. Unless I am talking with friends. Then I am the comedian.

I am also a bit more wary of people and careful of who I am around and what I am doing. I can take things quite serious sometimes. And people think I am mean. When in reality I just want to be respected. But that NYC Attitude comes out and then people think I am not friendly.

There have been quite a few times when i was traveling and I expressed a concern for some reason only not to be heard and put off. While that is fine for some IF I personally have a concern, especially for my own well being, comfort or safety. I DO NOT PLAY!


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## MoonGoddess (Jun 21, 2008)

_I am definitely the same in real life. In fact, the only thing that is different about my online persona is the nickname that I use._


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## MadWeePete (Jun 21, 2008)

Lastminute.Tom said:


> I guess I'm more open online because I'm not worried about being judged



That is possibly true about many of us. Although with me it may actually be the opposite. All of us are much more comfortable with those we know, whether it be in real life, or via some online persona. I do not tend to interact that much on line but prefer to be more of an observer. As such I do not really develop any real relationships on line.

I think that overall both personas are related but how similar they are comes down to a level of comfort and trust in those we interact with.

All I have probably managed to do is totally cloud the subject. Oh well.


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## liz (di-va) (Jun 21, 2008)

I think the gap in my experience lies less in being a different person online than in person (although I think I am, in various ways), than it does in something related to what people are saying about being more shy in person first--

That is, at a distance it's just a whole different set of interactions, a different way of knowing somebody, even when you know them inside out. It doesn't matter how well you know someone online, even in the most soul-matching of situations, you are still--somewhere--starting from scratch when you meet someone face to face. So of course the two different sets of "knowing someone" can sorta...lag. Hiccup. Not match. In tiny/big ways.

I think it's important to let yourself get to know people in real life at a real pace and not push to synthetize it all really fast. We're animals...you have to see how somebody feels right in front of you. I don't mean that you don't still dive on into intimacy with folks you know well just through pixels, but...I dunno.

It's taken me a while--longer--to be more of who I am in real life with people than online. It's partly because I'm a writer and have no problem using typing/writing for expression--to a certain extent--but it's also just that I've spent much more "time" with people online. It took me a while to really be my weird self online too.

Having said all that...I don't freakin know! I am still sometimes the shy-est person who never had a problem introducing herself to strangers, so...I dunno. I've been in this situation a lot, and I still find it a sort of big confusing issue. I think that's why I'm always craving nerdy get-to-know you games at bashes...I want all this stuff to catch up a little more.

*babble*


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## mszwebs (Jun 21, 2008)

I definitely have the same sparkling personality online as well as off 

Honestly though, I think that I'm mostly the same. Possibly a little more flirty online, but that is only because guys don't flirt with me in real life on a regular basis. If and when they do, I usually flirt back, at least a little...lol.

I also don't have to worry about my ability to type the correct spellings in real life...so...my nails don't hinder me day to day as they do when I'm chatting...lol.

All in all though, after meeting me in New Jersey, Jenka (Cold Comfort) told all and sundry that I was "Sassy."

I took it as a compliment and I strive to live up to it


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## SilkyAngela (Jun 21, 2008)

Online i think I'm pretty much the same as real life. I broadcast live radio shows from my bedroom and you can't get much more real life than that. But I'm probably more reserved in real life situations...maybe even a little shy when I first meet someone.


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## amber83 (Jun 21, 2008)

I used to be incredibly shy in person, but nowadays I am quite confident and outgoing. I have no issue approaching people anymore. However, if I have a romantic inerest in somone, I can be somewhat shy at first.


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## Miss Vickie (Jun 21, 2008)

Hmmm. Like others have said, it would be interesting to know what those who have met me in real life -- Generic Geek, Tina, Rainyday, Friday, Santaclear, Biodieselman and Risible -- think. But I think I'm pretty much the same. I don't seem to have that "filter" that other people do that allows them to dissemble in any real way. I'm almost always warm and open, but also can be silly, professional, emotional, usually articulate and very rarely funny (intentionally). It's how I am at home, at work, and here. 

I wish I had the gift for the funny zingers that many of you have.  I'm just not that creative, I suppose. But I do enjoy reading the quips, even if I feel outclassed in the funny bone department.


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## Ash (Jun 21, 2008)

Miss Vickie said:


> Hmmm. Like others have said, it would be interesting to know what those who have met me in real life.



I agree. Perhaps we need a new thread for this....


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## SocialbFly (Jun 21, 2008)

I think i am the same person on line as here, i am pretty direct and totally open about talking about stuff...quick to smile and pretty friendly...


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## Risible (Jun 21, 2008)

Miss Vickie said:


> Hmmm. Like others have said, it would be interesting to know what those who have met me in real life -- Generic Geek, Tina, Rainyday, Friday, Santaclear, Biodieselman and Risible -- think. But I think I'm pretty much the same. I don't seem to have that "filter" that other people do that allows them to dissemble in any real way. I'm almost always warm and open, but also can be silly, professional, emotional, usually articulate and very rarely funny (intentionally). It's how I am at home, at work, and here.
> 
> I wish I had the gift for the funny zingers that many of you have.  I'm just not that creative, I suppose. But I do enjoy reading the quips, even if I feel outclassed in the funny bone department.



Vickie, you are ever so much more animated in person, so much warmer and charming ... which is funny, because these qualities are all present in your online personality as well. I guess I could say you are just like you are online ... only amplified, in person. 



SocialbFly said:


> I think i am the same person on line as here, i am pretty direct and totally open about talking about stuff...quick to smile and pretty friendly...



You have considerable social magnetism in real life ... your presence is not adequately represented by "SocialbFly." Not to mention your animal magnetism, baby ... _rawr!_


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jun 21, 2008)

TraciJo67 said:


> I'm a man in real life.
> 
> In fact, I'm Richard Gere.



That explains why I want to do ya....... :batting: 



kitcatz said:


> yeah, I feel like I am, but it is easier to say things online that you would normally hold back a little before telling people some things.






goofy girl said:


> I'm definitely the same online and in person, but I find it *easier* to be myself online.



Both of these things are true for me. I am *me* online...but more open here. 
I can talk to almost anyone in reality...so I'm thinking it comes through the same way on the net. I'm not scared to speak on the net...nor am I in reality. 

However, what I say here and what I will share in reality can be quite different.
I rarely share my past abuses with anyone in reality....only my ex-spouses truly know the extent of it.....I just mentioned a few bits and pieces over eight years time with my best friend. I rarely mention my eating disorder to anyone....and when I do, it's really hard for me. 
All the sexual jokes I make here.....I only do those with current lovers in reality. In reality, I can be flirtatious and I can crack jokes as easily as I do here....but it really all depends on the company if I do it or not. Here...I don't care so much and just say what comes to mind most of the time. 
I suppose I am saying that the people on the net might really know me much better than most people in reality.....
This place is almost like a playground for me.....whereas in reality, I tend to "censor" myself a bit more out of necessity. 



Zandoz said:


> Actually, I'm closer to being who I really am online than in person. Because I can see and edit what I am typing online, I have a chance of actually expressing myself in ways that actually reflect what is on my mind. I have a really hard time communicating "live", so for the most part I just don't.



That's true for me too...especially if it's something I am passionate about. It's easier to type and proofread than to just blabber something out loud without thinking it through first. 
I am a much better writer than I am a speech maker.....
and more likely to give a better articulated opinion online. 





edx said:


> You totally read as 5'8".
> 
> And I'm only in part being silly. I don't know why, but I thought you were tall.



Her text reads "skinny" to me too 





ripley said:


> I'm not sure! I never set out to be fake, but I do think I'm more flirtatious online...offline I am shy and reserved.
> 
> 
> I'd like to echo several other people and say that I'd like to hear what others have though, who have met me in person.



I have only met a few in reality.....Wag and Kara. Someone would have to ask them if they really cared to know


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## Risible (Jun 21, 2008)

I'm quieter in person, though chatty enough in a social situation. Once you get to know me, I'm more ribald and playful in person. I like to tease those I like, and teasing can come off as ... mean or catty online, so I generally don't roll out that unless it's with someone I'm pretty comfortable with. I'm also more willing to share intimate, personal stuff in person.


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## SocialbFly (Jun 21, 2008)

Risible said:


> I'm quieter in person, though chatty enough in a social situation. Once you get to know me, I'm more ribald and playful in person. I like to tease those I like, and teasing can come off as ... mean or catty online, so I generally don't roll out that unless it's with someone I'm pretty comfortable with. I'm also more willing to share intimate, personal stuff in person.



you more reserved on line, close, you are warm and sweet and lovely...and i feel lucky to have met you and luckier still to call you friend.


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## lostjacket (Jun 21, 2008)

I think I am a bit more reserved initially...but then after a few hours or minutes in some cases I hit my groove and am the same person. I also talk like I write, which is both beneficial and detrimental at the same time. Go English majoringness. By which I maintain the right to make up words like "majoringness" on the basis that great authors did so on a regular basis.

This post rhymed and included alliteration far more then I initially thought on second pass.


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## Surlysomething (Jun 21, 2008)

I think i'm a lot funnier in real life. Online I come off as pretty serious.

But i'm not shy in either area.


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## bmann0413 (Jun 22, 2008)

Oh yeah, who I am in real life is exactly a carbon copy of who I am on the Net! Fun, nice, very gentlemanly, and totally friendly!


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## Candy_Coated_Clown (Jun 22, 2008)

I am very expressive both on-line and off. It's just my nature to express and I am not comfortable being anything other than authentic so to speak. However, I am definitely more of a borderline loner in person than I am on-line. I talk to various people here and there on-line but I don't really cultivate any deep friendships in general.

That's not something I develop often. When I do, I value the connection. 

I love to socialize on my own terms and in my own way. I think a lot of people can say this to some degree, but I think for me it's a bit more pronounced as a trait than what's generally on display among the masses. 

I sometimes forget to go out of my way to cultivate bonds off-line. I need to do this more and make time for that. It's greatly missed.


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## Punkin1024 (Jun 22, 2008)

Most of what I'm going to type has already been voiced by several in this thread. I am more outgoing on-line and I believe a few people here know me better than some of my irl friends. I present myself differently depending on situations too. I am more business like at work and have been told I am too quiet. That is because I am very cautious about what I say around certain people. Then, to my close friends and family I am kind, funny and very gullible. On-line, I can edit my posts and I have time to gather my thoughts. In real life, I talk slowly and pause often. I also have a slight stutter when I am nervous. 

However, I feel that my on-line personality is more the real me than what most people see in real life. And, yes, like many have stated, I am perceived as shy or snobby (until I get to know people) in real life situations. I am not one to strike up a conversation with a total stranger, however, I will try to make eye contact and smile. A smile goes a long way, ya know.

~Punkin (and, Punkin is my real life nickname by my hubby and a few radio personality friends.)


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## Jack Skellington (Jun 22, 2008)

I write how I talk so this is pretty much it. But now that I think about it, I'm probably even a weensy bit more spiteful in person.


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## CAMellie (Jun 22, 2008)

I seemed to have developed an online persona that is silly, flirtatious, and not taken very seriously for the most part. IRL I'm very articulate, I can be serious when the situation warrants it, and I'm pretty bold.


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## CAMellie (Jun 22, 2008)

Jack Skellington said:


> I write how I talk so this is pretty much it. But now that I think about it, I'm probably even a weensy bit more spiteful in person.


I wanna smooch your face off...just sayin'


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## KHayes666 (Jun 22, 2008)

Ben from England said:


> I was chatting with a friend the other day about the rise of Internet dating (one third of marriages now according to who I was talking to. Can't be bothered to look it up and see if he's right, but I was kinda amazed), and socializing on the net in general, and we got to wondering about the extent to which, with all the inherent differences between various types of communication, we project vastly different representations of ourselves depending on the medium. So, do you think that you're generally the same on the phone, online and in person? Have you ever met anyone who's totally different in person than they were online or over the phone (like, not a serial killer or anything, just a different kind of personality)?



It depends on the situation......I've been told I'm much more of an asshole online than I am in real life.

The truth is, in real life I act based on what the mood is. If everyone's laughing and having a good time, I probably will be too. If someone came up to me pointing a finger and picking a fight, I'd probably get in that person's face.

Last month at a recent event, people praised me for being kind, generous and supportive....that's because the situation was primarily positive. I had no reason to be a malcontent nor be anything other than positive.

I'm sure if someone at the next event gets in my face, you'll see the "asshole" people claim I am online. I hope it doesn't come to that though, I prefer being the generous dude ;-)


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## exile in thighville (Jun 22, 2008)

Good question!

In real life I hear I'm tinier. And less of a douche. And temporarily quiet. Not shy, mind you. Just calculating invasions of your conversations. 

Wait, maybe more of a douche actually.


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## Dragonsspite (Jun 22, 2008)

Online Im more open than i am off, and more apt to say exactly what I think (wether it be good or bad), When I meet someone initially I tend to be reserved until I get to know them in person. 
Ive met several people that I initialy talked to online and quite often they are different than how I persieve them from talking online. The women i have talked to and made friends with tend to be what they are on or off. The men on the other hand have been different, sometimes so much so that its hard to recognize that this is the person whose personality captivated me enough to want to meet them. So much so that recently I gave up on the whole internet dating thing, I figure If I am meant to meet that FA who will tolerate my bossy side as well as my warped sense of humor I can do it in person, the "old fashioned" way. I quit looking for love online. It can find me on the street.


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## SummerG (Jun 22, 2008)

I'm pretty much the same online as off... quiet. Unless I've had a few cocktails, and then I'm a chatty cathy (both online and irl).


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## Ash (Jun 22, 2008)

I'd say I'm pretty much the same online as off. I may be louder than you might expect, though. Depends on the situation. 

I still want to know what other people would say.


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## bexy (Jun 22, 2008)

I am pretty much the same. I find it easier to say things online that I would be scared to say in person as I feel like am a quite shy person (though EVERYONE seems to disagree with that lol) and have to avoid confrontation else I will cry lol.

I would say I find it easier to be honest online. Thats not to say I am a liar IRL, just that I may keep more to myself.


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## disconnectedsmile (Jun 22, 2008)

amber83 said:


> However, if I have a romantic interest in someone, I can be somewhat shy at first.


i think that goes for a lot of people. at least it does for a lot of the people that i know.

as for me, i think i'm actually a little more open in person than i am online. (quite the anomaly, i know)
when i'm in person, i tend to be a little more "in the moment," and my razor sharp, quick wit really shines.
whereas online, i can come across as callous and calculated. mostly because i do lurk a lot, be it message boards, chat rooms, whatever. also, i'm more reserved online than i am "IRL," because of the old adage (by which, i mean something i just made up right this minute), "facetious inflection doesn't bode well in type."


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## Violet_Beauregard (Jun 22, 2008)

Wow... this is a VERY interesting topic... I think everyone is different in different situations. And all of that makes up who a person is. I would honestly say I'm the most comfortable, therefore the most "me", when I'm at work. That place is the only place that I feel as comfortable as when I'm in my own home. Second would be with friends. Third would be family. My family makes a lot of assumptions about me, and quite frankly, don't really "know" me at all. They think they do, but *I* know they don't. 

Online? I think I'm a combination. It depends on the topic, who I'm talking to... etc. Generally, I tend to be a bit more shy online, but again, it depends on where I'm at (on the boards) and who I'm interacting with. At work and with friends, I'm VERY outgoing and talk a LOT. Here... not so much. 

On the whole, I like being the center of attention, and tend to seek out that attention. Yeah, I know... it's selfish, arrogant, and self-centered. I don't think it's because I've got "Paris Hilton Syndrome" though. I've thought about this a lot. My family was never a physically or emotionally demonstrative family. It was never a "negative" situation, per se, but they just were never touchy feely, and we never said/say "I love you". So, I think I crave that now, and crave being the center of attention... to make up for what I missed out on for many years.


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## Tina (Jun 23, 2008)

I think you'd have to ask those who have met me to get the real answer to that. I think I'm a bit less reserved online, because I'm a bit naturally shy, but I really don't know how I come off to people, if I seem different IRL or not.


Miss Vickie said:


> Hmmm. Like others have said, it would be interesting to know what those who have met me in real life -- Generic Geek, Tina, Rainyday, Friday, Santaclear, Biodieselman and Risible -- think. But I think I'm pretty much the same.


I think you are, too -- warm, kind, thoughtful, loving, fun, all of those things and more. It comes through here, but I prefer in-person, because I can actually look you in the eye at the same time. I feel the same about all of my close friends here. 

I have found most of the people I've met IRL from online to be very much who they seem to be, though some more reserved online, most a bit more reserved IRL, just for a little while.


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## Jasminium (Jun 23, 2008)

I'm definitely nicer online. I have a very sarcastic sense of humor, and since sarcasm doesn't really translate well online, I tend not to use it.


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## rainyday (Jun 23, 2008)

ripley said:


> I'd like to echo several other people and say that I'd like to hear what others have though, who have met me in person.



I think you're pretty much the same with a couple of exceptions. In general, you're just as funny and smart in person as you are online. Your funnies come just as rapidly in person, maybe more so. And (when we're not arguing ) you're just as easygoing and as much of a kick to hang out with in person. When you're around, even mundane stuff--like trying to order Chinese food lol--turns into fun. You're also as patient as online and as non-judgmental about special needs and quirks. I think the ways you're different are that you're steelier/sturdier in person than your online persona comes across. Sometimes I think people online mistake you as more fragile than you are. In real life you're a damn scrappy survivor. You give people hell more online though and seem more willing to wade into conflict here than in person. You're also prettier in real life than in most pictures. I think the pictures from out here capture the real you better than your old ones, but 3-dimensionally there's something that flashes across your face--especially when you smile--that photos don't quite grab. Oh, and when you wake up in the morning you're definitely not as perky as online.


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## exile in thighville (Jun 23, 2008)

Ashley said:


> I'd say I'm pretty much the same online as off. I may be louder than you might expect, though. Depends on the situation.
> 
> I still want to know what other people would say.



You're bigger in real life


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## ripley (Jun 23, 2008)

rainyday said:


> I think you're pretty much the same with a couple of exceptions. In general, you're just as funny and smart in person as you are online. Your funnies come just as rapidly in person, maybe more so. And (when we're not arguing ) you're just as easygoing and as much of a kick to hang out with in person. When you're around, even mundane stuff--like trying to order Chinese food lol--turns into fun. You're also as patient as online and as non-judgmental about special needs and quirks. I think the ways you're different are that you're steelier/sturdier in person than your online persona comes across. Sometimes I think people online mistake you as more fragile than you are. In real life you're a damn scrappy survivor. You give people hell more online though and seem more willing to wade into conflict here than in person. You're also prettier in real life than in most pictures. I think the pictures from out here capture the real you better than your old ones, but 3-dimensionally there's something that flashes across your face--especially when you smile--that photos don't quite grab. Oh, and when you wake up in the morning you're definitely not as perky as online.



If I look better it's because you're an amazing photographer. Fat chicks should hire you to do their portraits. 

And I hate waking up.  It's obscene. 


And :wubu:.


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## Miss Vickie (Jun 23, 2008)

Risible said:


> Vickie, you are ever so much more animated in person, so much warmer and charming ... which is funny, because these qualities are all present in your online personality as well. I guess I could say you are just like you are online ... only amplified, in person.



Really? It must have been the alcohol talking *hic* because I think I'm usually pretty shy in large groups.  But I sure enjoyed meeting you and Bio; it just felt like I'd known you forever. I was disappointed that we didn't get more time together.



Risible said:


> I'm quieter in person, though chatty enough in a social situation. Once you get to know me, I'm more ribald and playful in person. I like to tease those I like, and teasing can come off as ... mean or catty online, so I generally don't roll out that unless it's with someone I'm pretty comfortable with. I'm also more willing to share intimate, personal stuff in person.



I thought you were a lot of fun. Funny, talkative, warm, engaging and honest. I didn't get to see as much of the ribald and playful, but then we'd just met. Someday, maybe?  I'm a teaser too and like you I don't "go there" unless I know the person well because they often times don't take it well.



Tina said:


> I think you'd have to ask those who have met me to get the real answer to that. I think I'm a bit less reserved online, because I'm a bit naturally shy, but I really don't know how I come off to people, if I seem different IRL or not.



I think you're very much the same. Warm, intelligent, thoughtful, funny and very very kind. :kiss2:



> I think you are, too -- warm, kind, thoughtful, loving, fun, all of those things and more. It comes through here, but I prefer in-person, because I can actually look you in the eye at the same time. I feel the same about all of my close friends here.



I feel the same way. It's lovely to be able to talk face to face, to touch and hug. *sniff* I miss my friends. 



> I have found most of the people I've met IRL from online to be very much who they seem to be, though some more reserved online, most a bit more reserved IRL, just for a little while.



I noticed the same thing, though with the case of us girls -- you, me, Rainyday and Friday -- it seemed like we just fell into our friendships quickly. When Friday met me at the airport I SWEAR it was like she was my big sister and I'd known her forever and Rainyday is just so open and kind that our road trip felt very familiar and easy.


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## snuggletiger (Jun 23, 2008)

I am told I am funnier in person.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 23, 2008)

I don't look exactly the same as I do in photos and I'm much fatter in person. Otherwise I'm just as stuckup and unapproachable in person as I am here.


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## Tina (Jun 23, 2008)

Thank you, Vick. :wubu:


LillyBBBW said:


> I don't look exactly the same as I do in photos and I'm much fatter in person. Otherwise I'm just as stuckup and unapproachable in person as I am here.


Which then means that you are warm, common sense, outspoken, but not rudely, supportive, and are welcoming. I intend to find out for myself one day.


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## KHayes666 (Jun 23, 2008)

I take it back.......I'm far more evil in real life than I am online.

just look at this pic for instance....look how I attack the pancakes


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## Tad (Jun 23, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> I don't look exactly the same as I do in photos and I'm much fatter in person. Otherwise I'm just as stuckup and unapproachable in person as I am here.





Tina said:


> Which then means that you are warm, common sense, outspoken, but not rudely, supportive, and are welcoming.



Tina beat me to it--that was pretty much exactly what I was thinking when I read Lilly's post!


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## CAMellie (Jun 23, 2008)

KHayes666 said:


> I take it back.......I'm far more evil in real life than I am online.
> 
> just look at this pic for instance....look how I attack the pancakes



You ANIMAL! *weeps for the pancakes*


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## fatgirlflyin (Jun 23, 2008)

I think I'm more outspoken, and open to sharing my opinion online than I am IRL. 

In real life I'm quiet with people til I really get to know them, once I'm comfortable and trust the person I open up and can be pretty loud and stuff. I dont know, anyone out there who's actually met me can chime in if they want.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 23, 2008)

Tina said:


> Thank you, Vick. :wubu:
> 
> Which then means that you are warm, common sense, outspoken, but not rudely, supportive, and are welcoming. I intend to find out for myself one day.





edx said:


> Tina beat me to it--that was pretty much exactly what I was thinking when I read Lilly's post!



LOL It's actually a running joke I have going with myself. I've had more than one person say they were terrified to meet me, for what I don't know. It's a total waste of energy as I'm not really all that big of a deal -- except in physical stature. That you should be prepared for. :happy:


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## fatgirlflyin (Jun 23, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> I don't look exactly the same as I do in photos and I'm much fatter in person. Otherwise I'm just as stuckup and unapproachable in person as I am here.




That's not true, you take beautiful photos and you're beautiful in person. Also, you didn't seem stuck up. I approached you, and that's not easy for me to do. So if you seemed stuck up I wouldn't have done that!


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## Tina (Jun 23, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> LOL It's actually a running joke I have going with myself. I've had more than one person say they were terrified to meet me, for what I don't know. It's a total waste of energy as I'm not really all that big of a deal -- except in physical stature. That you should be prepared for. :happy:


Well, you know, for me, Lilly, when it comes to you it's all about the stature and the fat, so I'm sure I'll be so stupifyingly lustful for your fat I'll be speechless. 

Only not. I'll not hesitate to hug you, which will be a sign of just how much terror you instill in me.


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## largenlovely (Jun 23, 2008)

Samantha told me in the dims chatroom that i had to tell that i have went into the KKK chatrooms and harrassed them...which i admitted that i would've been too chicken to have done this in real life being that i can't run and would've been too scared of becoming their next victim lol


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## HottiMegan (Jun 23, 2008)

Really cool topic. Like a lot of others have said, I'm way more shy in real life. It might come off as stuck up or something but it's just shyness. I have a VERY outgoing husband who really balances out my shyness. I'm sort of a nervous person in social situations. But in a lot of ways, it takes me a while to warm up to people online too. So i guess for the most part, I'm the same.


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## olwen (Jun 23, 2008)

Interesting question Ben.

I'd say with me what you see is what you get. I'm the same online and off. I just think it's too much work to pretend to be someone else online. That's just me tho. I'd also think that one's intent and other prexisting conditions may come into play for some people. Some people I've encountered online seem to go out of their way to reduce their personalities to one aspect of themselves - usually sexual expression - which seems rather pointless to me, so I've become wary of that...my further thoughts on that go onto something else entirely.

...Sometimes, you can develop a rapport with someone online then find that you have to start all over from square one on the phone and then even in person. It becomes a three step process of getting to know someone. A couple of times I discovered I liked the other person better online because it was easier for them to communicate that way. When that happens it makes me feel weird. I have to wonder how they'd react to me if they'd met me in person first - with the same intent. Then there are others who I met in person and we got along just fine...


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jun 23, 2008)

If I ever get to meet Lilly then she had BEST be standing up because I'm sure I will be consumed by the compulsion to run and jump on her


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## GenericGeek (Jun 23, 2008)

Miss Vickie said:


> Hmmm. Like others have said, it would be interesting to know what those who have met me in real life -- Generic Geek, Tina, Rainyday, Friday, Santaclear, Biodieselman and Risible -- think...



Hmmm -- it's hard to say, since I met the _*"Full Bandwidth!"* _ Vickie long before having to settle for the vastly attenuated online version . So my perceptions of your online presence are colored by what I know of the Real Deal.

But I think you summed it up quite well, really. It's just that you're *way* more fun in person! 

As for myself, I'm *much *more verbose (and more likely to say something offensive, intentionally or otherwise) in person, than I am online. So I'd say I'm more civilized here, if only because I don't want the bouncers -- er, *moderators*, I mean -- to throw me out!


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## Ash (Jun 23, 2008)

exile in thighville said:


> You're bigger in real life



The correct answer is "hotter". Hotter. 

Sorry guys. Gotta live up to my attention-whore reputation!


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## Mishty (Jun 24, 2008)

I'm a bit more shy online, well I am _now_.

I think it's cause of *my* bad choices of online friends in the past....

But in normal day to day life I'm a real live wire, full of advice and words I'm very loyal and give as much of myself as I can.....online, I just can't make myself "let it all hang out" just yet....

I think my dyslexia has a little to do with it also, spellchecker or not, sometimes I come off sounding like a wired up 12 year old 


and of course my "Southern Charms" never really stand out unless I'm face to face with ya! lol

awesome thread!!


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## exile in thighville (Jun 24, 2008)

Ashley said:


> The correct answer is "hotter". Hotter.



This is the exact correction I made when you guys said I was tinier!


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## Tracy (Jun 24, 2008)

I'm the same online as in real life. I'm a little shy in social settings but I warm up very quickly when I'm in a setting that I feel very comfortable in. I pretty much have a smile on my face all the time and that seems to draw smiles and hello's from people that I meet on the street. I'm a friendly person but still a little shy.


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## Miss Vickie (Jun 24, 2008)

GenericGeek said:


> Hmmm -- it's hard to say, since I met the _*"Full Bandwidth!"* _ Vickie long before having to settle for the vastly attenuated online version . So my perceptions of your online presence are colored by what I know of the Real Deal.
> 
> But I think you summed it up quite well, really. It's just that you're *way* more fun in person!
> 
> As for myself, I'm *much *more verbose (and more likely to say something offensive, intentionally or otherwise) in person, than I am online. So I'd say I'm more civilized here, if only because I don't want the bouncers -- er, *moderators*, I mean -- to throw me out!



Thanks, doll. I can't wait to see you and The Missus later this summer. :kiss2: I think those who haven't met you are really missing out. There's must so much more to you that doesn't come through the internet. You're one of those really wise and accepting people; I've learned a lot from you over the years.


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## Tad (Jun 24, 2008)

I've thought about it more, and I think actually I am different in real life, at least in how I come across.

In real life I joke, quip, and even take the piss out of people in a light-hearted way. A lot. I seldom have a conversation without at least a little word-play or verbal ornamentation. 

On-line, I almost never do that. I just can't seem to deliver it properly on-line, or maybe I just worry too much about how it being read when I can't see the 'listener.' 

As a result, on-line I suspect I come across as much more serious and pedantic, but kinder, than I do in real life. Or to put it another way, online is probably about how I would seem if you met me in a job interview, not on the sidewalk. 

Mind you, if I somehow stumbled into meeting anyone from here there is a good chance that my on-line persona would carry over, from force of habit, for at least a while. So were there anyone to report back on me, there is a fair chance that they'd still say I was the same way online and off


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## BBWGLORYFOXXX (Jun 24, 2008)

gosh I couldnt tell you how many times i have met people off the net who claim to be one thing but really are not..whats up with that? why do some people have a problem being themselves?


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 24, 2008)

BBWGLORYFOXXX said:


> gosh I couldnt tell you how many times i have met people off the net who claim to be one thing but really are not..whats up with that? why do some people have a problem being themselves?



Possibly because they don't like themselves and wish to appear more interesting? Either that or it is to deliberately put some erroneous information in the mix in case you turn out the be some kind of whacko and they want to leave a door open to abort and sever all communications with you witnout notice.


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## jason_c (Jun 27, 2008)

i write, chat, talk on the phone exactly the same way as i present myself in person. my quirckiness knows no bounds. in person you can see my mannerisms, which apparently adds a whole new dimension. hence, one goofy bastard.


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## Ulfhedinn (Jun 27, 2008)

I've met a good number of my online friends in real life and they all tell me I'm exactly the same. *shrug*


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## ThatFatGirl (Jun 27, 2008)

I'm the same once I get to know someone, otherwise, shyness wins out and I feel pretty awkward. Give me a few cocktails and all is well.


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## Santaclear (Jun 27, 2008)

Miss Vickie said:


> Hmmm. Like others have said, it would be interesting to know what those who have met me in real life -- Generic Geek, Tina, Rainyday, Friday, Santaclear, Biodieselman and Risible -- think. But I think I'm pretty much the same. I don't seem to have that "filter" that other people do that allows them to dissemble in any real way. I'm almost always warm and open, but also can be silly, professional, emotional, usually articulate and very rarely funny (intentionally). It's how I am at home, at work, and here.
> I wish I had the gift for the funny zingers that many of you have.  I'm just not that creative, I suppose. But I do enjoy reading the quips, even if I feel outclassed in the funny bone department.



You're much prettier in real life, Vickie, but just as smart and interesting as online. I don't find you at all lacking in the sense of humor department btw!


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## JerseyGirl07093 (Jun 28, 2008)

Like a lot of others have posted, I think I'm pretty much the same online as I am in real life. I'm probably less shy online but that is because the internet lets you kind of skip over the 'getting to know you' part of interacting with someone and you can just jump into the conversations as if you were old friends already.
Also, I'm probably more of a flirt online, for the same reason. Plus, not as many people flirt with me in real life. lol (So, please, feel free to flirt!) 
Hopefully someday I will meet some of you in real life and you can tell me if you think I'm as funny, cute and wonderful as I am online.


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## Miss Vickie (Jun 28, 2008)

Santaclear said:


> You're much prettier in real life, Vickie, but just as smart and interesting as online. I don't find you at all lacking in the sense of humor department btw!



Thank you. *blush* What a kind thing to say. *blush blush blush* :wubu:


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## rainyday (Jun 28, 2008)

Santaclear said:


> You're much prettier in real life, Vickie, *DITTO!* but just as smart and interesting *DITTO!* as online. I don't find you at all lacking in the sense of humor department btw! *DITTO!*



Damn ten letter minimum

Not to mention extremely patient, kind and bouncy! You bounce and bee bop around with the energy of a kid in a hotsa mamma's body. Could be all those quarts of coffee, but I think it's more innate lol.


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## Miss Vickie (Jun 29, 2008)

rainyday said:


> Damn ten letter minimum
> 
> Not to mention extremely patient, kind and bouncy! You bounce and bee bop around with the energy of a kid in a hotsa mamma's body. Could be all those quarts of coffee, but I think it's more innate lol.



Aw, bless your soul. (I can't wait to see you again!!!!) I'm not feeling too bouncy today, but thanks! Our Grrrls Gone Wild road trip was a blast.


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## gwydion (Jun 29, 2008)

Mostly I'm the same person in RL as online, but with a few differences. Generally online I tend to say a lot of the things ``outloud'' that in RL I just think. I'm also very different in private conversation with Mrs. .h. as I am in public conversation. It's a shyness thing.

That said, some folks here have seen occasional glimpses of my sarcasm in person. At least I think so - that is to say, I don't exactly hold up a sign to indicate that I'm trying to be funny when I am.


cuz that would be rather retarded.


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