# Making it better?



## That Guy You Met Once (Mar 2, 2012)

One girl I was into - who, ironically, met me through that Tumblr for FAs - just had gastric bypass for purely cosmetic reasons yesterday, and I know at least five or six more who are determined to get as skinny as possible by any means necessary. 

I pretty much just resigned myself to staying locked in my room all the time and not even bothering socializing with girls I like, because whenever I go out and talk to fat chicks, it gives me another reason to hate being an FA.

Most BBW events are states away and way out of my minimum wage-earning price range.

I've found trying to meet girls on sites for FAs/BBWs to be mostly a bust because they're already drowning in unwanted attention.

All anyone can ever tell me is to wait, because "I'm only 21." But I see people like me well into their 40s and 50s in the same position, and there's really nothing assuring me I won't end up as one of them.

I've tried therapy, but it didn't help. The therapist told me that I'd probably be able to find more happy and confident people if I was into thinner girls.

I've been told to "man up and get over it" a thousand times on sites like this. I try every day, and fail every day. It just seems everyone's the same.

...And I know a lot of people who like fat people (of both sexes) who aren't in supportive relationships are in the same position to some extent, especially the younger ones. The "It Gets Better" project has been recieving a lot of attention for the past few years, so maybe something similar is needed here. 

Can anyone tell us anything that will give us hope?


----------



## Fat Brian (Mar 2, 2012)

As depressing as it sounds you just have to keep at it. You can't control what other people do so don't let it ruin your life. Just try to find someone you're a match with. Since you are in the American south I would say that you probably have a fairly large pool of women to choose from. Sometimes when you are looking for a specific type of person you have to be ready to flirt and make an impression whenever you find the type of person you're looking for. Maybe the chubby checkout girl or the cutie at the drive-thru is just the one for you. There is nothing wrong with liking fat women, not everyone has to be on board for you to have a good time.


----------



## Blockierer (Mar 3, 2012)

There's nothing wrong with being fatsexual. It takes time to find the right partner. In my case I needed 4 years to find my wife. But you should know, if you feel you are into fat chicks you will never be attracted in the same degree to thin ones. Don't waste your time and money with the therapist.


----------



## musicman (Mar 3, 2012)

That Guy You Met Once said:


> One girl I was into - who, ironically, met me through that Tumblr for FAs - just had gastric bypass for purely cosmetic reasons yesterday, and I know at least five or six more who are determined to get as skinny as possible by any means necessary.
> 
> I pretty much just resigned myself to staying locked in my room all the time and not even bothering socializing with girls I like, because whenever I go out and talk to fat chicks, it gives me another reason to hate being an FA.




As FAs, we desire those who are devalued by society (incited by the greed of the trillion-dollar diet/medical/pharma industry), so it's easy to think your problem is related to your being an FA. But it's not. You might as well hate yourself for being someone who won't hook up with any random person who wanders by. Everyone (except complete losers) have a list of characteristics they look for in a partner, whether they will admit it or not. Our lists just happen to include fat; most others don't. The amount of fat you desire (chubby, plump, super-sized, or whatever) doesn't change the situation. It's still only one item on your list. (And, of course, your list may change over time.) You're talking about the broader problem of compatibility, and almost every human being has struggled with it, not just FAs.

You gave your thread a very appropriate title. It really is up to you to "make it better". YOU have to do the work to find the woman you want, and you can't stop until you find her. I can't tell you the specifics of what to do. But it's definitely worth the effort! Ask anyone who has found the right partner, and they'll tell you they would have worked a thousand times harder if they could have found her sooner.


----------



## Jon Blaze (Mar 4, 2012)

Finding the right person is hard for anyone. Regardless of sexuality. Women/men of all sizes may or may not have the same insecurities, so it isn't a given in any case. There's so many things that come into play.

Sometimes things happen when you least expect it. Keep it in your mind, but don't let it control everything else in your life. Keep going on those forums, but just be kind and genuine. Be yourself. You never know where that will take you. 

Now I'm not in a relationship, but a lot of my relationships have started that way. Just talk. Be yourself. Don't think you're entitled to a reply or anything, but if you do end up getting one, then run with it. You never know what it could mean. I'm making plans for someone to come see me soon, and it all started six years ago. All I did was compliment her, and was just being nice. 

Have you tried standard dating sites as well? You know for a lot of them you can choose body type. You may never know what is around you.


----------



## mimosa (Mar 6, 2012)

Freaking Jon just stole my answer. lol 

Yes, do what he just said. :bow:


Jon Blaze said:


> Finding the right person is hard for anyone. Regardless of sexuality. Women/men of all sizes may or may not have the same insecurities, so it isn't a given in any case. There's so many things that come into play.
> 
> Sometimes things happen when you least expect it. Keep it in your mind, but don't let it control everything else in your life. Keep going on those forums, but just be kind and genuine. Be yourself. You never know where that will take you.
> 
> ...


----------



## mimosa (Mar 6, 2012)

Open up your heart and your mind to the possibilities ahead of you . Not every fat women's story is the same ol' thing. I promise. I know my story is totally different. I am beautifully fat and newly single. 

I have two words for you: singles thread. So many beautiful ladies there. 



That Guy You Met Once said:


> One girl I was into - who, ironically, met me through that Tumblr for FAs - just had gastric bypass for purely cosmetic reasons yesterday, and I know at least five or six more who are determined to get as skinny as possible by any means necessary.
> 
> I pretty much just resigned myself to staying locked in my room all the time and not even bothering socializing with girls I like, because whenever I go out and talk to fat chicks, it gives me another reason to hate being an FA.
> 
> ...


----------



## home (Mar 7, 2012)

You know, sometimes it isn't always the woman. And sometimes it is always the woman. What do I mean by that. Please read this fully. I was happy... Oh never mind, I'll just get to the point. Women sometimes need hope. When they meet a guy who is just starting out. THey don't just see the man he is. THey want him to have plans for the future. They want him to think long-term. Now, in Quebec we have Stages. In the States it is simply volunteering. I hope this helps and doesn't make made.

www.ICSlearn.ca

www.Scitraining.ca

If you look up ICS Canada or Stratford Career Institute in your search engine. You will find two very affordable Distance Learning Schools. If you finish a diploma. You can then volunteer/take an apprenticeship/Stage. And then start a money making career. That might help with the confidence and bring in some women. Some BBW's. THat was in the Spirit of helping. Please don't be offended. I actually am a Student of ICS Canada right now. No joke. Later.


----------



## fiddypence (Mar 9, 2012)

When I was your age, I was only just starting to accept who I was. I found it much much harder than I expected to find someone that I liked. I would suggest that you spend less time looking for a wife/gf and focus on other things for a while. It's easy to dig yourself into a whole, trying to find the perfect person. The truth is that it's hard and there will be lots of frustration along the way. Like I said, find something else to focus on when you are heartbroken.


----------



## That Guy You Met Once (Apr 10, 2012)

I'm seeing someone now, and she seems different from any of the other girls I've dated.

I never could have seen this coming. She was the one who asked me out, actually.

So I suppose that sometimes, things change when you least expect them to.


----------



## joswitch (Apr 15, 2012)

home said:


> You know, sometimes it isn't always the woman. And sometimes it is always the woman. What do I mean by that. Please read this fully. I was happy... Oh never mind, I'll just get to the point. Women sometimes need hope. When they meet a guy who is just starting out. THey don't just see the man he is. THey want him to have plans for the future. They want him to think long-term. Now, in Quebec we have Stages. In the States it is simply volunteering. I hope this helps and doesn't make made.
> 
> www.ICSlearn.ca
> 
> ...



If you're talking about career advancement MIT offer their STEM courses online now!

Not that it'll get you out and meeting people.


----------



## joswitch (Apr 15, 2012)

That Guy You Met Once said:


> I'm seeing someone now, and she seems different from any of the other girls I've dated.
> 
> I never could have seen this coming. She was the one who asked me out, actually.
> 
> So I suppose that sometimes, things change when you least expect them to.





Yay! Good luck to you both!


----------



## KHayes666 (Apr 21, 2012)

I started liking fat girls when I was 17 back in 2003...it took me 6 years and countless bad experiences before I met my true love.

Just ask anyone on Dimensions what their opinion is of me and its most likely going to be negative, so if someone like me is on the verge of marriage there is hope for you yet.


----------

