# Fat and a FA? Talk about it here



## butch (Apr 13, 2009)

I've been away and haven't had a chance to read all the threads yet, but am glad to see this board up and running! Yay!

I'm wondering how those of us who are fat and drawn to fat partners fit into the Dims scene? I don't have 'FA Guilt,' for example, but it is easier for me to 'come out' as a queer, historically, than it has to come out as 'FA.'

I thought I'd start a thread on this topic where anyone can post anything, so if my question above doesn't float your boat, but you have something else to add or ask about the topic at hand, please do.

Congrats on the board!


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## Tad (Apr 13, 2009)

Im maybe more of a chubby FA than a fat FA, depending on your definition of fat, but Ive almost always thought of myself as something like a small fat person. That is, Im pretty much as thin as I can manage to be (manage is more mental than biological imperative). I could easily be bigger, but even marginally smaller would be very hard.

With that said, no it doesnt take away FA guilt for me. If Id ever been in a relationship with an FA that might have made it different; going through things from the other side might have caused me to work through this. However, for me, what I choose for my life and body, and what I help enable in others, are very different. Which might very well be blatant arrogance or egotism or something similar word, basically the putting of myself at the centre of the universe, and not according others choices the same importance as mine. However there is more to it than that, I think, but I cant quite articulate it yet. More some time later. 

Oh, and thank for the interesting thinks this topic is giving me!


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## Durin (Apr 13, 2009)

Somewhere lately my enjoyment of the fat female form has rubbed off on me in that I have made peace with my body.

:bow:


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## steely (Apr 18, 2009)

I love my fat husband.I just wish he was bigger.I've always been attracted to big men,tall,heavy men.Myself being 5'10" and substantial.I haven't found a lot of men that are attracted to me.C'est la vie,I'm very happy with my husband and that is all that matters.


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## imfree (Apr 18, 2009)

Takes one to know one, takes one to love one,
WOW!!!, fat is just SO VERY SEXY!!!:smitten:

I guess I'm home now.:bow:


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## Surlysomething (Apr 28, 2009)

I'm a big girl, I like big guys. It seems like a no brainer to me. Im not attracted to 'fat' per say, I just like a big guy. I think it's complimentary to my size. When I see big/small couples I find them unappealing aesthetically.


And I love feeling wrapped up in big, strong arms (can't deny that)


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## BarbBBW (Apr 28, 2009)

imfree said:


> Takes one to know one, takes one to love one,
> WOW!!!, fat is just SO VERY SEXY!!!:smitten:
> 
> I guess I'm home now.:bow:



WOW I love your thighsssssss:wubu::eat2:


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## imfree (Apr 28, 2009)

BarbBBW said:


> WOW I love your thighsssssss:wubu::eat2:



That's an awesome compliment, Barb! My Ex used to call me 
Birdlegs or Noass. Now that I'm over 400, I have a sexy ass
and nice thighs. Fat is sexy.:bow:


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## the hanging belly (Apr 29, 2009)

This might sound odd, but I think with me having grown up always being fat, you really have to come to terms with liking yourself the way you are, so I began to like my fat. I think that also helped me like it on others, because for me fat is more 'normal' because its the only way of life I've known. Does that make any sense at all?


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## butch (Apr 29, 2009)

the hanging belly said:


> This might sound odd, but I think with me having grown up always being fat, you really have to come to terms with liking yourself the way you are, so I began to like my fat. I think that also helped me like it on others, because for me fat is more 'normal' because its the only way of life I've known. Does that make any sense at all?



Yes, that sounds a lot like how I feel. 

I have to say, I'm a little sad this thread isn't of more interest. I wonder if that is because of the process you describe, THB. If the fat F(F)As have more of an idea that fat is 'normal' (or, as surly says, it seems natural for big people to be together), then they'd have less 'issues' to talk about.

However, I do find it interesting that there are a number of FAs who seem to identify more as FAs than as fat men, at least when they interact at Dims. I can't say I've noticed that with fat FFAs, but I may not have been paying close enough attention.


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## BarbBBW (Apr 29, 2009)

imfree said:


> That's an awesome compliment, Barb! My Ex used to call me
> Birdlegs or Noass. Now that I'm over 400, I have a sexy ass
> and nice thighs. Fat is sexy.:bow:



You definately have a great ass and thighs!!!! Thighs:wubu: are just my thang hehehehe:blush: And now you know why she is your EX!! haha


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## Surlysomething (Apr 29, 2009)

butch said:


> Yes, that sounds a lot like how I feel.
> 
> I have to say, I'm a little sad this thread isn't of more interest. I wonder if that is because of the process you describe, THB. If the fat F(F)As have more of an idea that fat is 'normal' (or, as surly says, it seems natural for big people to be together), then they'd have less 'issues' to talk about.
> 
> However, I do find it interesting that there are a number of FAs who seem to identify more as FAs than as fat men, at least when they interact at Dims. I can't say I've noticed that with fat FFAs, but I may not have been paying close enough attention.



I started quite a ruckus on the BHM/FFA board with my disappointment that most of the BHM on there were into thin women, but I think it opened up some eyes. I also realize that the majority of BBW on the site like a thin partner which I find strange personally but big people aren't excluded from the media's image of what is attractive. People roll how they roll.


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## butch (Apr 29, 2009)

Surlysomething said:


> I started quite a ruckus on the BHM/FFA board with my disappointment that most of the BHM on there were into thin women, but I think it opened up some eyes. I also realize that the majority of BBW on the site like a thin partner which I find strange personally but big people aren't excluded from the media's image of what is attractive. People roll how they roll.



It does seem that the majority of pairings that happen here(or are hoping to happen here) are thin/fat , and I have always been perplexed by that. While I respect everyone's right to like what they like, it makes things that much harder, IMO, for those of us fatties into fatties to find similarly minded people. 

Imagine if a good portion of gays and lesbians were only attracted to straight people. Granted, it isn't an exact comparison, since being gay or lesbian doesn't mean you 'look' a certain way, but it would make dating that much harder than it already is for the gays, since there are a lot less gays and lesbians in the world than straight people.

So, being a fat queer woman, I expect that only .000099% of the population is attracted to me () and so I have LOW expectations of meeting someone who digs fat women who don't look much like women, even if I am attracted to both genders. 

Let me be clear, I'm not giving anyone grief for what they like, just stating my perspective.


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## Tad (Apr 30, 2009)

That was also my first big shock upon finding the size acceptance community, that most fat people were not attracted to fat people, and that many fat admirers preferred being slim themselves. For me being attracted to fat on others and fat on myself were so naturally linked that I started off with the assumption that other people who liked being fat or who were attracted to fat would be the same. 

It didn't take long to realize that I was in a minority in liking both, and I've accepted that for a long time now.....but it still feels a bit strange to me sometimes.

I've talked in other threads about my personal terminology of hetero-FA, homo-FA, and auto-FA. I'm all three of those, in that I'm attracted to people of the opposite gender who are fat, I think fat looks good on members of my own gender even when I'm not attracted to them, and I like fat on myself.

Despite which, I've spent most of my life trying to keep my weight down :doh:


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## EtobicokeFA (May 1, 2009)

edx said:


> That was also my first big shock upon finding the size acceptance community, that most fat people were not attracted to fat people, and that many fat admirers preferred being slim themselves. For me being attracted to fat on others and fat on myself were so naturally linked that I started off with the assumption that other people who liked being fat or who were attracted to fat would be the same.
> 
> It didn't take long to realize that I was in a minority in liking both, and I've accepted that for a long time now.....but it still feels a bit strange to me sometimes.
> 
> ...




I was kind of surprise, as well, when I first came here. I also fit into being a fat FA, and since most FAs are thin, and that most people are attractive to thin people, it was kind of interesting.


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## imfree (May 1, 2009)

BarbBBW said:


> You definately have a great ass and thighs!!!! Thighs:wubu: are just my thang hehehehe:blush: And now you know why she is your EX!! haha



I was around 275 during most of my marriage with my ex.
I guess she should have seen that I ate better, oh well,
her loss...........:bow:

Thanks Barb, you're sweet.:happy:


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