# How fat is too fat?



## Ashley42 (Oct 9, 2016)

Hi everyone. My name is Ashley, I'm 24 and just joined today.

I am a large lady and always had confidence issues. My husband says I'm beautiful but I have very low confidence and have trouble believing him.

I'm 5'3 and weigh around 290lbs, my boobs are a 42 H (42 FF in U.K.). I'd love to feel and look as sexy as these women I've seen here but I'm scared I'm a bit too big for that. I don't have much confidence anyway so I'm terrified of uploading pictures or anything hoping for good repsosnses and I get bad lol. 

Do I sound too big? I won't take offence if I do, I'd rather here it here before uploading any pictures or showing myself lol.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Oct 9, 2016)

Paysite models come in, if you'll excuse the pun, a wide variety of sizes. I'm sure you'd have an enthusiastic following. There are a couple of good threads on the subject in the BBW forum: one is entitled "How Do I Paysite" and the other is "BBW Modeling Made Me Feel Like Crap." You might want to look them both over before you make a decision. Whatever you decide, may it bring you happiness.


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## landshark (Oct 9, 2016)

Welcome to the forum, Ashley. 

If your husband, who presumably knows you and loves you as you are, cannot through his assurances validate you on your appearance what makes you believe a bunch of strangers online will be able to do so? No amount of positive feedback will suffice until you decide for yourself accept and embrace who and what you are.

My wife suffers from the same type of uncertainties you do. I'll not disclose her dimensions (classified) but suffice to say she loathes herself and no amount of me assuring her she's perfect will ever convince her she is. For years it drove me nuts that I could never be enough to convince her to love herself but more recently it has dawned on me that her sense of self worth has to come from within. And for you it's no different.

From someone married to an amazing woman who is gorgeous from head to toe, do believe your husband when he tells you that you're perfect. But also do whatever you need to do to increase your own self image. 

Best wishes to you and again, welcome to Dims!


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## Sculptor (Oct 9, 2016)

happily_married said:


> Welcome to the forum, Ashley.
> 
> If your husband, who presumably knows you and loves you as you are, cannot through his assurances validate you on your appearance what makes you believe a bunch of strangers online will be able to do so? No amount of positive feedback will suffice until you decide for yourself accept and embrace who and what you are.
> 
> My wife suffers from the same type of uncertainties you do. I'll not disclose her dimensions (classified) but suffice to say she loathes herself and no amount of me assuring her she's perfect will ever convince her she is. For years it drove me nuts that I could never be enough to convince her to love herself but more recently it has dawned on me that her sense of self worth has to come from within.



I picked a bad time to view this response because my kudos are depleted  another time then...


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## Dr. Feelgood (Oct 10, 2016)

I repped him for both of us.


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## Tad (Oct 10, 2016)

Mostly what Happily Married said, but I'll add a few more thoughts.

- honestly, there are some women out there who are your size and who feel too small. There are also women out there who are your size and feel perfect as they are. And obviously there are women who are your size and who for feel too big. Nobody can decide that but you, as you are the only one in your life, your body, your head.

- please believe that your husband sees you as beautiful. As they say, beauty in is in the eye of the beholder, and it is never nice to be told that you couldn't possibly like what you know you like. Of course, not all eyes will see your beauty equally, so believing that he really does see you as beautiful doesn't mean you are instantly over your body insecurities -- you can look in the mirror and not see what he sees, that is OK, but try to believe that he sees something beautiful (my own wife eventually decided that I was eccentric, but in a way that favoured her so she just tries to accept it)

- I'll guess that you have been fat for much of your life? Guess what, you are probably programmed to be heavy. Most likely you could make various lifestyle changes and lose some weight, but very few ever keep off large amounts of weight for long periods of time. So you could be bigger or smaller, but you are always probably going to be 'fat' (by current standards) as part of being you. It seems odd that somehow all they great things about you are somehow invalidated just because you are a bigger person, don't you think? You don't have to love that you are a bigger person, but consider that maybe you could come to accept it as one of those things? Like, my hair was beating a fast retreat by my early twenties, I've had to wear glasses since I was twelve-- I don't love either of those things about myself, if I got to order a new body I'd choose one with hair and good eyes. I certainly don't expect most people to prefer guys with glasses and little hair--that would be unrealistic. But I can accept what is, and try to work with it as best as I can. Hopefully you can find a way to say "this is my body, it let's me laugh, gets me places, let's me enjoy sex. And does lots of other good things. I appreciate it, will take good care of it, and flaunt all its good points."

And most of all, best of luck with loving yourself


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## SecretlyaKitten (Oct 10, 2016)

Nope, that's not too fat at all!

It's very frustrating and upsetting when someone you think is highly attractive says they don't believe you when you tell them what you think about how they look. When your husband tells you that you're beautiful, try not to fight him on it. Do your best to accept that, yes, he thinks you're gorgeous! Even if you're not able to believe that you're pretty overnight, that will be a step in the right direction. ^_^


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 10, 2016)

Hi Ashley 

Welcome to the boards. 

I've been around these boards for ten years. My view point of myself as a BBW has taken a few flips over the years. 

This website can show you a viewpoint much different from what you may run into out in reality- or even other websites. 

That being said, it does pretty much come down to your OWN viewpoint of yourself. You're only 24...you may find yourself going through many phases of change. The most important thing I can say as someone older? It's not a website or a lover or a friend or anyyyyy one thing that shapes your opinion of you. It's many things...because you are not just one thing. You have different facets- mind, body and soul. 

Search your heart and mind and relationships to learn about all the parts of you. Loving yourself for who you are in your body makes it much easier to like your own body.

I wish you good fortune in your endeavor of finding self worth. Don't stop trying because each day you move forward with it makes you that much stronger.


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## Forgotten_Futures (Oct 13, 2016)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> I repped him for both of us.



I hit him, too.


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## Tad (Oct 13, 2016)

We may have scared Ashley away with our enthusiasm?

ETA: mostly I was joking -- she hasn't logged back in since the day that she originally posted, most likely has entirely her own reasons for not having checked back.


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