# Telling her you prefer big women.



## petersmyth79 (Jan 10, 2012)

I know myself really well  and that makes everything really good; but more importantly everyone else knows who i am, that i'm into cars, that i like helping people and most importantly of all that i prefer big beautiful women to the point that i'm not attracted to thin women. not that i think they are ugly, just that i have no physical attraction whatsoever to thin women. i told a girl i was going out with (on roughly the 3rd or 5th date) that "i prefer plus size women". she was ok with that because i worded it in such a way that she didn't think "shit man, your a freak". like for example "oh and by the way i only like fat chicks and hate the look of thin women". any woman that hates the way she looks and she's a bbw/ssbbw isn't going to know what either of these terms mean, and "FAT" outside of us on here is an insult no matter how it's used. if your talking to a woman that is a member of a plus size forum that this is not so much of a problem, but most of the bbw/ssbbw i have met have no idea that places like this exist; so telling a bbw/ssbbw about your preference can be pretty daunting. my advice is to be upfront, kind,
careful about how you word/say things, smile, not too eager. you may very well gently show a big beautiful woman that there is a world of acceptance and kindness that she never knew existed, and if you are careful you might end up with her in your life permanently like i did... 

hope this is helpful to someone  And if i have written anything that is anything but kind than i apologise as this was not my intention, this is my first thread


----------



## Blackhawk2293 (Jan 10, 2012)

And now for a maybe not too appropriate way to declare your preference is to post a video like this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bt9qHHFkwV4

It's a parody of Sir Mix-A-Lot's Baby Got Back that Jamie Foxx did in the 90s.


----------



## Aust99 (Jan 10, 2012)

Why did you post this in here?? It should go in the FA/ FFA forum.... Don't ya think??


----------



## petersmyth79 (Jan 10, 2012)

Aust99 said:


> Why did you post this in here?? It should go in the FA/ FFA forum.... Don't ya think??



ahh well now i know... being new to this particular forum and in the middle of renovating my house i must not have read enough information to know i was making a mistake. what's obvious to you may not be obvious to a newcomer. and if one gets jumped on so readily one might in the future think twice about posting at all...


----------



## Aust99 (Jan 10, 2012)

Sorry, I didn't realise it was so hard and time consuming to look at which sub-forum I'm posting in... I'm not telling you to stop posting...


----------



## joswitch (Jan 10, 2012)

Aust99 said:


> Why did you post this in here?? It should go in the FA/ FFA forum.... Don't ya think??




Hello? Is there a mod in the house? plz to move thread to FA/FFA forum? kthnx


----------



## Gingembre (Jan 10, 2012)

I confess I am a bit confused with regard to what the OP is about, and the concept of telling women at all really. If I'm dating someone, I figure they must be into fat or, at the very least, be accepting of my fat. So..why do they need to spell out that they're into fatties? I understand if i'm trying to hide my stomach or whatever, a "dont hide it, i like it" may reinforce some things, but why would one require to be told/feel the need to tell whoever they're dating that they're into fat/thin/blondes/whatever?

Not criticising or anything, just putting it out there coz the OP got me thinking...sorry to have gone off at a tangent.


----------



## Dromond (Jan 10, 2012)

I smell a sock puppet.


----------



## KHayes666 (Jan 10, 2012)

Dromond said:


> I smell a sock puppet.



Put your shoe back on


----------



## Diana_Prince245 (Jan 10, 2012)

KHayes666 said:


> Put your shoe back on



That would explain the funky smell in here. . .


----------



## Dromond (Jan 10, 2012)

I use Dr. Scholl inserts, so don't look at me.


----------



## LeoGibson (Jan 10, 2012)

Do those things work? I have been thinking about trying some of the ones you use the computer to get fitted with.


----------



## Dromond (Jan 10, 2012)

The activated charcoal liners do work, but not indefinitely. If you are asking about the orthotic inserts, and I've never tried those.


----------



## FatAndProud (Jan 14, 2012)

You guys troll so hard lol

I like to tell him I prefer hung men. It makes him feel comfortable with himself. I word it in a way that he thinks I'm a freak like "OH, I love to feel my uterus split in half and become fragmented by the sheer prowess of your love pump" or summat like that.


----------



## Webmaster (Feb 26, 2012)

petersmyth79 said:


> ...my advice is to be upfront, kind,
> careful about how you word/say things, smile, not too eager. you may very well gently show a big beautiful woman that there is a world of acceptance and kindness that she never knew existed, and if you are careful you might end up with her in your life permanently like i did...



Those of us who have been around the plus-size community for a long time, both FAs and BBWs, tend to forget how it was in the beginning when everything was new and exciting and perhaps a bid forbidden. 

As for the advice to be upfront, I'd say that depends on the person and situation. If you are a young FA and find yourself in a budding relationship with a young fat woman, I'd simply be kind and supportive and take it slow. If someone has been beat up about her size all her life, it may take some time to be able to realize that beauty and appeal is in the eye of the beholder.

The situation is different if you meet someone who has already discovered the size acceptance movement and its many venues. The questions and issues will then be different, but the quest to get through to another human being won't. It's still a matter of making the connection and seeing if there is mutual interest in taking things farther.


----------



## s13 (Mar 8, 2014)

I think I'm fairly handsome, tall, at least cute. A few ssbbws on dating sites have asked if I'm serious or pranking. If they haven't heard of FAs they become pretty intrigued. If they said I can have any girl I say yeah I want a supersized one. That I think big is sexy, and since my teens. I try to say nicely I like the very biggest girls. I want to be sexy for them too. I think we have both been surprised from time to time, in a good way.
In real life situations I just will talk to a supersized girl if in a pub or club normally. And maybe a cheeky quick kiss on their neck . It's obvious from there.


----------



## KHayes666 (Mar 9, 2014)

s13 said:


> I think I'm fairly handsome, tall, at least cute. A few ssbbws on dating sites have asked if I'm serious or pranking. If they haven't heard of FAs they become pretty intrigued. If they said I can have any girl I say yeah I want a supersized one. That I think big is sexy, and since my teens. I try to say nicely I like the very biggest girls. I want to be sexy for them too. I think we have both been surprised from time to time, in a good way.
> In real life situations I just will talk to a supersized girl if in a pub or club normally. And maybe a cheeky quick kiss on their neck . It's obvious from there.



May I ask what got in your head to revive a dead 2 year old thread? Sorry, I got up on the wrong side of the bed


----------



## petersmyth79 (Mar 11, 2014)

Webmaster said:


> Those of us who have been around the plus-size community for a long time, both FAs and BBWs, tend to forget how it was in the beginning when everything was new and exciting and perhaps a bid forbidden.
> 
> As for the advice to be upfront, I'd say that depends on the person and situation. If you are a young FA and find yourself in a budding relationship with a young fat woman, I'd simply be kind and supportive and take it slow. If someone has been beat up about her size all her life, it may take some time to be able to realize that beauty and appeal is in the eye of the beholder.
> 
> The situation is different if you meet someone who has already discovered the size acceptance movement and its many venues. The questions and issues will then be different, but the quest to get through to another human being won't. It's still a matter of making the connection and seeing if there is mutual interest in taking things farther.



I totally forgot about this thread. you hit the nail on the head. my post(i should have clarified in the first place) was inspired by some ssbbw's i dated that were not even aware of dimms or the plus size movement, those women had not yet accepted themselves as Super Sized Big Beautiful Women; and were also not aware that there are guys that think they are hot(they had only been told that they were "too fat", and would "look better" if they "lost weight"). I had realized (from the way they spoke about themselves) that if i had said that i thought they were pretty, they would have thought i was not being sincere. i have had quite a few interesting experiences telling large women that i was attracted to them(and some of them even thought i was joking, or put up to it as a dare).

in hindsight i was more vague (through my lack of experience writing posts), next time i write something here, i will try to so better. (had to edit this post a few times, oops. sorry)


----------



## GamerGainerGirl (Mar 13, 2014)

I definitely get where you were coming from here  Before my fiancé opened up completely about being an FA I didn't realize there was a community like Dims in existence, or that there was a group of guys who not only would "tolerate" my size but would actually love it! 

It's a huge step to tell her, and there's a chance you could scare her off if you do it too early on or word it poorly, but done right it can open up a world of confidence and carefree happiness for her 

I also totally get what you mean about the "you would be so gorgeous if you just lost some weight" or "you have beautiful eyes and high cheek bones, you just don't notice them with all that weight". It might be hard to imagine for some people (especially non bbw/ssbbw) but this stuff gets said on regular basis and really puts it into a girls head that you can only be loved "despite your body".


----------



## terpsichore (Mar 13, 2014)

i find it goes over well when i focus on the individual person and give compliments tailored specifically to him, rather than making any general statements about how i like big guys.  just imho.


----------



## loopytheone (Mar 13, 2014)

I can see both sides of this. My fiance has told me a few times before that one of the things that inspired him to message was the fact that he knew I liked bigger guys. I should point out that we didn't meet on a dating website or anything like that, we met on deviantART of all places. I didn't exactly have 'Hi, I like BHM' on my profile but I do draw pictures of bigger guys, fav stories and am part of some 'big guy clubs' as well, all of which are visible on my profile. The fact that I like his size does mean a lot to him. 

He has always shown me praise and love for myself and the way I look and although that meant a lot to me I admit it made me feel much better when he eventually told me he liked chubby women in general. It showed me that he didn't just tolerate my size and like everything else about me but actually loved all my chubbiness! :happy:


----------

