# Squeezablysoft's Sweetly Spicy and Scrumptiously Saucy She Shed



## squeezablysoft (Jun 8, 2018)

Oh no, I think it's contagious!


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## squeezablysoft (Jun 9, 2018)

Today I tried the bacon flavored Ritz crackers and was amazed that they really do taste bacony! Also, Cool Runnings was on TV tonight so all in all you could say I had a good day.


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## Never2fat4me (Jun 9, 2018)

Is that the equivalent of your Man Cave?


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## squeezablysoft (Jun 21, 2018)

Yay, The Great Outdoors is on AMC rn!


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## Jay78 (Jul 10, 2018)

squeezablysoft said:


> Yay, The Great Outdoors is on AMC rn!


The old 96’er!!


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## MattB (Aug 1, 2018)

squeezablysoft said:


> Yay, The Great Outdoors is on AMC rn!



...also TONIGHT! Followed by Summer Rental.


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## squeezablysoft (Aug 11, 2018)

Ok so I'm not great at all that mathy-wathy numbery stuff but ever since I came across the concept of a weight setpoint, I've really wanted to know what mine is. I spent a year last year eating completely unrestricted partly to see what effect this had on my weight, I don't think I reached my setpoint though because I gained regularly throughout that whole period and never leveled off. But I do have a pretty good idea of how much I was eating during that time (around 3,000 calories a day), and by using some of that numbery stuff I figured up the weight at which 3,000 calories a day would be the maintenance amount for me. Which I figure is probably pretty close to my setpoint. Would you believe it came out to 315 pounds?! I suppose if that's how much my body wants to weigh, it's no wonder I'm miserable trying to starve it down to no more than 119 so I can be considered a "healthy weight" for my height according to the bmi chart.


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## LeoGibson (Aug 13, 2018)

Unless you’re 7 ft tall, no ones body wants to weigh 315 lbs. it just doesn’t and no amount of pseudoscience is going to make that statement true. There’s so many different variables but off the top of my head, I bet if your diet was structured in a way that you covered your macronutrient needs in a more nutritious way, you’d likely have a hard time eating enough to get to that 3,000 kcal mark. You could, but it would take way more food than you think. If you’re eating calorically dense food with little nutritional value then no, it’s not hard to bang 3,000 kcals in a day but when it’s things like grilled chicken, lean steak, broccoli, rice, sweet potatoes sans butter and brown sugar it’s much harder.

But don’t get me wrong, by all means if you want to weigh that then go for it. I myself walk around at 320 and I’m pretty content. And it takes me at my activity level around 4,000-4,300 kcals a day to maintain this body weight.

There is some merit to the set point theory and not all people operate optimally at a low body fat. But to think a body that is say for instance 5’7 or so “wants” to be 315 lbs. as an optimal body weight is highly spurious.


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## squeezablysoft (Sep 26, 2018)

Apparently the dude in this video is an actor who's using his YouTube channel as a resume. He is more than welcome to come play the role of my boyfriend anytime.


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## MattB (Sep 26, 2018)

Geez...here I am trying to keep my resume to a measly two pages.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 16, 2018)

A sweet (young John) Candy treat just in time for Halloween! Found this at a site called thisisnotporn.net to which I can only respond by saying that literally everything is porn to somebody.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 18, 2018)

Random BHM-related note, my mother was watching tv and a John Belushi biography comes on, so she calls me in and says I could be on tv cause you know that eyebrow thing John Belushi does? I have a whole bunch of funny things I can do with my face (cross each eye individually, touch my tongue to my nose, wiggle my ears). I can't do the raise one eyebrow thing though. So I'm warning you all now that I've been told I could be the next John Belushi I might just start spamming this thread with pictures of me making funny faces. Brace yourselves.


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## ODFFA (Oct 18, 2018)

Yeah. You know what they say about extraordinary claims, Squeezably. We're waiting.


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## Tad (Oct 18, 2018)

Clearly you need a youtube video (or channel!). ;-)


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 20, 2018)

Working on the YouTube thing, meanwhile as promised, silly face spam! First picture I took before realizing my lighting was weird, so I look kinda gothy but also I think I can see the Belushiesque quality lol.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 20, 2018)

Obligatory millennial duckface selfie.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 20, 2018)

The aforementioned tongue tricks.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 20, 2018)

A certain person from a certain site that rhymes with "dweebie" has a bit of a Willie Wonka blueberry fetish so he always wanted me to do this face lol.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 20, 2018)

My cross eyed pics didn't come out like I'd hoped but anyway...


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 20, 2018)

I said I can't do the eyebrow thing but I try, looks more like Popeye tbh.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 20, 2018)

And one shot with specs for that sexy librarian look.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 20, 2018)

BONUS: Look how far back my fingers can bend!


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## Yakatori (Oct 22, 2018)

^That's interesting, I find that particularly impressive in light of that you're not even pressing them against anything. Like you can just as naturally bend them in that direction as the other.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 25, 2018)

Attention Earth humans: James Corden is freakin' adorable.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 28, 2018)

My local weather chub appears to be making good progress on his winter body already. So I definitely had something else in mind when he started talking about the cooler weather and said "We're definitely heading in the right direction, if you like that sort of thing", lol. Also, according to him, my town is "the cool spot" for the area, but I'm sure it wouldn't be nearly as cool if I didn't live here.


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## ODFFA (Oct 29, 2018)

squeezablysoft said:


> Attention Earth humans: James Corden is freakin' adorable.



If you like James Corden, I recommend watching Gavin & Stacey. He co-wrote it with friend and fellow actor, Ruth Jones. It's an awesome, fun little series. It's endearingly British and I know you'll find him extra freakin' adorable in it.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 4, 2018)

Tonight was pizza night (also had garlic knots and brownies)! The pizza guy took forever to get here and that reminded me of my first kinda semi-feedee moment with an FA. I had a FWB deal going with a guy in South Carolina, who wasn't exactly a feeder but he was an FA and always kept me well fed whenever we were together. So anyway one day in anticipation of impressing my new adipose appreciative lover with my prodigious feasting capacity later that night, I get the bright idea to skip lunch that day to be sure I have plenty of room. But since I had an 8 am college class breakfast was at 7 am, so by the time we got together I hadn't had anything to eat for over 12 hours and was about ready to start gnawing on the furniture. So we ordered pizza and of course it would take forever to get there, I was being a total fat baby whining about how I was sooooo hungry it made my tummy hurt. And this sweet guy starts giving me belly rubs and telling me it's ok, the food will be here soon and then I can eat and eat and eat until my tummy's nice and full and happy. In the stories you read the feeder is usually rubbing the feedee's belly and comforting them after they stuff themselves, so this was kind of the opposite but it's still a nice memory.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 5, 2018)

So I was playing around with inspirobot today and was duly gratified to get this inspirational message


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 5, 2018)

But the thinness of the image they choose plus this inspirational quote I got after kinda sends mixed signals...


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 8, 2018)

And here is today's inspirational message:


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 4, 2018)

I have once again been blessed with fuel for the torrid imaginary affair I am having with John Candy. Yesterday my mom and I watched Planes, Trains and Automobiles and she said it is her favorite movie of all time. I think that's really cool although of course I wouldn't admit why it's one of my favorite movies too, aside from the fact that it is a great movie in general, FFAness aside. And today I saw Splash which is mostly a Tom Hanks film but does prominently feature Mr. Candy as well. In other news, my new math tutor is a BBW and I'm ok with that.


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## abzu (Dec 5, 2018)

squeezablysoft said:


> I have once again been blessed with fuel for the torrid imaginary affair I am having with John Candy. Yesterday my mom and I watched Planes, Trains and Automobiles and she said it is her favorite movie of all time. I think that's really cool although of course I wouldn't admit why it's one of my favorite movies too, aside from the fact that it is a great movie in general, FFAness aside. And today I saw Splash which is mostly a Tom Hanks film but does prominently feature Mr. Candy as well. In other news, my new math tutor is a BBW and I'm ok with that.



Sits far too close sporting weird grin.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 5, 2018)

abzu said:


> Sits far too close sporting weird grin.



Yeah that might have given it away a little lol!


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 24, 2018)

So the results of my college transfer applications are starting to come in. I was disappointed to be rejected by a school I'd thought of as a bit of a "safety school", but then I got accepted at one of the schools I really wanted to go to. So barring a better financial aid package offer from another school, I'm probably going to be moving to Jacksonville this summer and going to University of North Florida starting August. I'm really trying to get as excited about this as I was about going to my first college, but knowing I'm going to have to fight it out with my mom about living on campus, or else I'll have to live with her while I'm in school, commute every day and so on, really sucks the fun out of the whole thing.


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## Yakatori (Dec 25, 2018)

Well, wait a minute. How is financial aid going to be affected by living off-campus? Make sure you really crunch the numbers here. You don't want to be throwing away free money.

As a student, I greatly preferred my off-campus lifestyle. But, in all honesty, in as much as academic's really your focus, for the couple years you're gonna actually spend there, living on-campus is an enormous advantage, once you acclimate to all of the restrictions.


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## squeezablysoft (Mar 12, 2019)

Yep, a lot of numbers need to be crunched here for sure. Jacksonville is kinda an expensive place to rent a house in and mom really has her heart set on a single family house not an apartment so it's a bit of a toss up as to what is the better option financially. So far the only aid I have is the Pell grant and loans which are unaffected by living situation but I know some scholarships require you to live on campus. Anyway, our landlord is being a *insert offensive term here* so we're looking for a place to move asap. Mom wants to be near me even if I'm staying at school so I'm looking at houses on the outskirts of Jacksonville where rents are a bit cheaper as well as other towns in north Florida and even south Georgia where rents are substantially cheaper.


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## squeezablysoft (Mar 12, 2019)

Idk what company sold my email address to this trivia thing without my permission, but at least it's an interestingly appropriate topic today. Btw, the answer is 1,400 lbs, which Jon Brower Minnoch is estimated to have weighed at his peak, though this is only an estimate due to the difficulties of precisely weighing a man of that size.


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## LizzieJones (Mar 12, 2019)

ODFFA said:


> If you like James Corden, I recommend watching Gavin & Stacey. He co-wrote it with friend and fellow actor, Ruth Jones. It's an awesome, fun little series. It's endearingly British and I know you'll find him extra freakin' adorable in it.


Gavin and Stacey is such a cute show. James Cordon is hilarious in it.


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## squeezablysoft (Mar 18, 2019)

I just found out I can get Five Guys Burgers delivered to my house! Excitedly awaiting my first order atm!


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## Jay78 (Mar 18, 2019)

squeezablysoft said:


> I just found out I can get Five Guys Burgers delivered to my house! Excitedly awaiting my first order atm!


Stuff like this just doesn’t happen on a Monday!!!
Play the lottery and enjoy!!


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## squeezablysoft (May 4, 2019)

Today is my 35th birthday, so yeah I'm feeling kinda old now that I'm officially in my mid-thirties. Especially since I always kinda thought I'd be farther along in life by now, I mean I guess everybody kinda feels this way but I'm still trying to finish college for Pete's sake (though also I got my Associates degree yesterday so that's good but I still have like 3 more years to get my Bachelor's). And it doesn't help that I've found like 3 silver hairs on my head in the past week. But I started the day with stuffed crust pizza and Crunch bars because that's how you do birthday breakfast right, right? And I'm ordering burgers for my birthday dinner, so looking forward to that.

Tl/dr, It's my 35th birthday today and I'm kinda having a midlife crisis rn but I'm a pro at eating my feelings so it's all good.


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## ODFFA (May 4, 2019)

You're not alone, Squeezably. Even though I'm not there just yet, I've had a very similar version of the crisis you described.

Wishing you the happiest and most scrumptious birthday possible!


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## RVGleason (May 4, 2019)




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## squeezablysoft (Jul 3, 2019)

Important Update on my Fascinating Life: I think I might have mentioned here before that I've been basically housebound since I came back to be with my mom in Florida, since we didn't have a vehicle and being in a wheelchair and unable to transfer myself makes it more complicated to get rides. Well, we just found a used van with a lift for the chair that we were juuuuust able to pull together enough money to buy. Still not really going anywhere just yet since I don't drive and mom can't until she has cataract surgery (which she is scheduled for in a couple weeks), but this is definitely an exciting development!

Also, I've definitely decided I will be going to the University of North Florida next month and mom and I had been going around and around about me wanting to live in the dorm again and her wanting to move to Jacksonville and have me stay with her and commute. But it looks like I'm going to get what I wanted because after buying the van we won't have enough money for mom to move by next month. So I know mom is disappointed about that and will worry about me and I will worry about her too, but also I'm excited to be on my own(ish) and have the freedom to do things like I want to again (like unrestricted eating and gaining and, erm, other stuff ).


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## squeezablysoft (Jul 4, 2019)

Ok, I made a new Google account for Dims stuff. Email is [email protected] and I have a YouTube account under sweetsunnyspark as well (also Snapchat and Instagram) but I haven't posted anything yet, keep your eyes peeled over the next few weeks.


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## Tad (Jul 5, 2019)

Enjoy the dorm life! (and classes too)


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 5, 2019)

What do you plan on studying?


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 4, 2019)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> What do you plan on studying?



Graphic design


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 4, 2019)

Idk if I'm feeling irritable and emotional because I'm hungry, or if I just want to emotionally eat because I'm in a bad mood. Or if I just happen to coincidentally be hungry and cranky at the same time.


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## SSBHM (Dec 5, 2019)

squeezablysoft said:


> Idk if I'm feeling irritable and emotional because I'm hungry, or if I just want to emotionally eat because I'm in a bad mood. Or if I just happen to coincidentally be hungry and cranky at the same time.


Yep, I feel hungry a lot when I'm lonely, irritable, emotional, anxious, sad, happy, moody, excited, nervous, cold, hot... lol


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 24, 2019)

It's a Christmas miracle, I finally found a pair of jeans that fits me nicely! These in size 18.2: https://www.measureandmade.com/products/straight-jean-black


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## SSBHM (Dec 25, 2019)

squeezablysoft said:


> It's a Christmas miracle, I finally found a pair of jeans that fits me nicely! These in size 18.2: https://www.measureandmade.com/products/straight-jean-black
> 
> View attachment 134420
> View attachment 134421


Oh my gosh! They even look a bit loose! 
Well, glad you have some jeans, but hopefully they won't stay so baggy long. lol.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 25, 2019)

SSBHM said:


> Oh my gosh! They even look a bit loose!
> Well, glad you have some jeans, but hopefully they won't stay so baggy long. lol.



I'm starting the job of filling them out with the Christmas feast!


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## asterix (Dec 26, 2019)

squeezablysoft said:


> Ok so I'm not great at all that mathy-wathy numbery stuff but ever since I came across the concept of a weight setpoint, I've really wanted to know what mine is. I spent a year last year eating completely unrestricted partly to see what effect this had on my weight, I don't think I reached my setpoint though because I gained regularly throughout that whole period and never leveled off. But I do have a pretty good idea of how much I was eating during that time (around 3,000 calories a day), and by using some of that numbery stuff I figured up the weight at which 3,000 calories a day would be the maintenance amount for me. Which I figure is probably pretty close to my setpoint. Would you believe it came out to 315 pounds?! I suppose if that's how much my body wants to weigh, it's no wonder I'm miserable trying to starve it down to no more than 119 so I can be considered a "healthy weight" for my height according to the bmi chart.


If your body wants to weigh 315 and you want to see if that weight feels good, EAT! Some of us enjoy being with round beauties.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 26, 2019)

Did Christmas Japanese style and had KFC.


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## Tad (Dec 27, 2019)

Looking cute, SS!


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## ODFFA (Dec 27, 2019)

I second Tad's compliment. And speaking of cute... polar bear coke! I wouldn't have hated it if they'd done that for us here in SA as well.


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 3, 2020)

ODFFA said:


> I second Tad's compliment. And speaking of cute... polar bear coke! I wouldn't have hated it if they'd done that for us here in SA as well.



Yeah, last year's Christmas cans were pretty but I'm glad they brought back the bears. I'd really like to see the Santa cans come back some year but idk that might be considered too politically uncorrect nowadays.


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 3, 2020)

I've decided one of my New Year's resolutions for 2020 will be to get more involved here at Dims. I'm setting a goal of making at least 3 posts a day whenever I can. My depression makes me really unmotivated and antisocial sometimes, to the point where even texting and keeping up with social media seems like a chore, but I love y'all and always find loads of intriguing food for thought here, so I think this will be good for me.


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## Aqw (Jan 3, 2020)

May 2020 be a good year for you


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## SSBHM (Jan 3, 2020)

squeezablysoft said:


> I've decided one of my New Year's resolutions for 2020 will be to get more involved here at Dims. I'm setting a goal of making at least 3 posts a day whenever I can. My depression makes me really unmotivated and antisocial sometimes, to the point where even texting and keeping up with social media seems like a chore, but I love y'all and always find loads of intriguing food for thought here, so I think this will be good for me.


Great resolution. I hope others see and follow your example. 
This is a community and we should be more active and interested in what others are doing.
I'm going to try to follow your rule - 3 posts daily - and other resolutions are:
1. Stay the course, continue letting myself gain. I like being big and would like to get to 400 or more.
2. Try to be friendlier to others. Even when people are mean, they probably just don't understand.
3. Encourage others to be happy and, when possible, indulge - I think bigger, softer people are happier! lol
4. Try my best to be a better person. That's an all encompassing requirement.


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 4, 2020)

Glad I inspired you, @SSBHM! Today was one of the crappy days but I'm going to peruse the threads for two more places to post.


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## SSBHM (Jan 4, 2020)

squeezablysoft said:


> Glad I inspired you, @SSBHM! Today was one of the crappy days but I'm going to peruse the threads for two more places to post.


I suggest snacking on cookies while perusing. It puts one in a good frame of mind, and boosts your energy too! 
I manage to eat almost a dozen every day.


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## Colonial Warrior (Jan 4, 2020)

squeezablysoft said:


> I've decided one of my New Year's resolutions for 2020 will be to get more involved here at Dims. I'm setting a goal of making at least 3 posts a day whenever I can. My depression makes me really unmotivated and antisocial sometimes, to the point where even texting and keeping up with social media seems like a chore, but I love y'all and always find loads of intriguing food for thought here, so I think this will be good for me.


I understand what you feel. It happened to me when I was 30. 

Still at my 53 (just look it's 35 backwards!). I feel the Christmas time sadness.

You always make some terrific participations at the forums. Just keep your awesome job.

My most sincere admiration to you.


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 8, 2020)

I guess just posting to the games forum is kinda cheating a little but it's a relatively easy way to stay somewhat engaged without having to muster up the energy for a post on a real topic. Today was an ok day but a long one so probably won't be posting a lot today, maybe tomorrow though.


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## SSBHM (Jan 8, 2020)

squeezablysoft said:


> I guess just posting to the games forum is kinda cheating a little but it's a relatively easy way to stay somewhat engaged without having to muster up the energy for a post on a real topic. Today was an ok day but a long one so probably won't be posting a lot today, maybe tomorrow though.


how about suggesting midnight snacks?


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 8, 2020)

SSBHM said:


> how about suggesting midnight snacks?



The ultimate midnight snack has gotta be milk and cookies, Oreos if you really wanna do it right. Any combination of sugar and dairy is good though, milk and doughnuts/brownies/cake/pie, ice cream, even a nice bowl of cereal will do. Leftovers are also an acceptable answer (either cold or hot), extra points for pizza or other takeout food.


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## SSBHM (Jan 8, 2020)

Cookies are a winner! I had to make chocolate milk too, of course.


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 13, 2020)

Subway prolly should never have made all those earwormy "5 dollar foot long" commercials, because now a whole generation of sandwich eaters has that so firmly lodged in their brains that paying more than $5 for a foot long is always gonna seem like a bad deal.


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 13, 2020)

This is completely unrelated to fatness, but I found it deeply disturbing yet fascinating and feel compelled to share (probably by whatever demon is possessing this cursed image).


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 18, 2020)

Reeeed Robin! Yum!


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 21, 2020)

Another resolution I have for this year is applying for at least one scholarship every day. Y'all prolly know I want to go back and finish college but have been dealing with various difficulties along the way, finances being one big issue, though not the only one.

I had hoped to go back last fall but had some stuff come up, aiming for this coming fall now. It's kind of a pain in the @$$ that I lived in Florida most of my life and have now been living here continuously since summer of 2017, but because my transportation issues prevented me from getting to the DMV to update my state id card, I am considered "out of state for tuition purposes" just because I lack the documentation they want (your docs have to be dated at least 12 full months prior to the first day of classes for you to qualify as in state for a given year). 

I'm hoping I can get my card updated by this summer so at least I'll be in state for 2021-2022 (not to mention my voter registration so I can vote in November!), and also hoping I can get enough scholarships to make up the difference for this year, since having had so many delays already I REALLY don't want to sit out yet another year for a stupid paperwork technicality.


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 21, 2020)

Ok, so I'm sure this doesn't really mean anything (especially since I still haven't actually posted anything myself yet), but I followed Red Cow Entertainment (the mega-hot SSBHM Jon Hunt's company) on Instagram and THEY FOLLOWED ME BACK!!!!! Like I said, I know it doesn't mean anything but I'm still pumped about it!


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 24, 2020)

Absentmindedly scratching some carpet today, I think I understand what the deal is with cats and scratching posts now, it's actually kinda satisfying.


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 30, 2020)

This explains it better than I ever could, it's like they know me.


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 30, 2020)

Well this is interesting, ppl are always making fun of me for keeping a stash of candy in my room but I think just now it might have actually saved my life (ok maybe I wasn't literally dying but it sure felt like it). I've heard ppl say that only diabetics can get low blood sugar but I'm pretty sure I get it now and then because I'll have symptoms that sound like hypoglycemia and go away after I eat. 

Right after I made the post above this one, I suddenly started to feel shaky and sweaty and my heart was racing so I used the health measurement app thingy on my phone and it showed my pulse was 92 bpm and my stress level was in the middle range (which the app says is average but I think it's significant because every time I've measured it when I wasn't experiencing any serious problems it's always been at the far low level like in the more recent measurements). So I pushed myself to get out of bed and to my desk where I had some Twizzlers and ate them until everything started to calm down. Idk if I could have made it all the way across the house to the kitchen to get food if I had had to, maybe I could but I'm very grateful I had the candy right there.

When I redid the measurements an hour later my pulse was down to 76 bpm and my stress level was down to the far low end like usual. I guess it's possible this whole thing is just in my head but it seems pretty real to me. I've been tempted to buy a blood glucose monitor for these occasions just out of curiosity but it seems a little expensive for someone who doesn't have diabetes.


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 31, 2020)

My hair finally grew out enough for me to put it in a ponytail for the first time in about 5 years. Pics on my Instagram @sweetsunnyspark, my first Insta post!


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## squeezablysoft (Feb 15, 2020)

Attention BHM fans: Summer Rental starring the most excellent John Candy is coming on the Starz movie channel now!


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## squeezablysoft (Feb 19, 2020)

Ok, so I kinda slipped up on this whole post every day resolution thingy. Oops. I'll keep trying.

Anywho, some stuff going on in the exciting adventure that is my life, I saw a doctor for the first time in awhile on Valentine's day, the next day they did an xray on my left hand for some weirdness with my ring finger and a "just to be sure" ECG since I've been having palpitations.

Tomorrow morning I'm getting blood drawn and then hopefully I can get back on my thyroid medicine. Am slightly anxious about the blood sugar part of the test though, since I've had the low sugar-y episodes and been running in the 90s for my sugars for years, plus finding out when I did the 23andme that genetically I have a 50/50 chance of getting diabetes by age 80 (and also, ya know, the whole being fat thing).


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## ODFFA (Feb 19, 2020)

Good luck! Hope it all comes back ok. You have our support either way.


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## squeezablysoft (Mar 14, 2020)

*My latest YouTube video (now with talking).

*


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## squeezablysoft (Mar 20, 2020)

Three Part Red Robin Mukbang:


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## ODFFA (Mar 25, 2020)

Omg I love mukbangs! Believe it or not, I often watch them for the relaxing ASMR effect more than anything else.


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## squeezablysoft (Mar 25, 2020)

ODFFA said:


> Omg I love mukbangs! Believe it or not, I often watch them for the relaxing ASMR effect more than anything else.



Yeah, as a foodie and feederism fan who experiences ASMR, I have to say I enjoy mukbangs on multiple levels lol, which aspect I'm enjoying most depending on the individual case. Mouth sounds definitely trigger the brain tingles but on the other hand watching someone totally lose themselves in the pleasures of eating and having foodgasms, well, that's another kind of tingles!


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## squeezablysoft (Mar 25, 2020)

So I haven't updated y'all on my health stuff since the little snippet in my video. I had been worried about possibly getting told my blood sugar was too high but that was good, as was my other blood work. Except the doctor said my TSH level was one of the highest he's ever seen.  So we're definitely going to have to up my thyroid medicine dose, probably a few times over the next few weeks.

I also got 2 new prescriptions just now that I'll be starting tomorrow morning. One is Baclofen for my cerebral palsy spasticity which will hopefully improve my pain and range of motion.

The doctor also confirmed a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder and we discussed a few different possible medications but ultimately the one he decided to try with me is Duloxetine (Cymbalta), nearest I can figure is probably because I have a lot of muscle pain and it's supposed to help that as well as the mood.


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## Shh! Don’t tell! (Mar 25, 2020)

squeezablysoft said:


> So I haven't updated y'all on my health stuff since the little snippet in my video. I had been worried about possibly getting told my blood sugar was too high but that was good, as was my other blood work. Except the doctor said my TSH level was one of the highest he's ever seen.  So we're definitely going to have to up my thyroid medicine dose, probably a few times over the next few weeks.
> 
> I also got 2 new prescriptions just now that I'll be starting tomorrow morning. One is Baclofen for my cerebral palsy spasticity which will hopefully improve my pain and range of motion.
> 
> The doctor also confirmed a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder and we discussed a few different possible medications but ultimately the one he decided to try with me is Duloxetine (Cymbalta), nearest I can figure is probably because I have a lot of muscle pain and it's supposed to help that as well as the mood.


Are you an anti-depressant virgin? Never took them before?


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## squeezablysoft (Mar 25, 2020)

Shh! Don’t tell! said:


> Are you an anti-depressant virgin? Never took them before?



Yup, any advice for my first time?


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## Shh! Don’t tell! (Mar 25, 2020)

squeezablysoft said:


> Yup, any advice for my first time?



Not really because I took a different kind for a different reason. I took SSRIs for OCD and got off them because they made me tired and forgetful, and also decreased my sex drive. For me the cure was worse then the disease, but it’s different for each person and I wouldn’t presume to know your situation. Good luck, I hope they’re helpful for you.


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## squeezablysoft (Mar 29, 2020)

Well, I figured trying 2 new medications at once was probably a mistake and sure enough I got terribly sick and I'm not sure which medicine did it. I suspect it was the Baclofen, since I actually had increased spasticity which can happen, it backfires for some people. I was also throwing up and feeling very weak and hot, although the thermometer said I didn't have a fever. 

I went to the hospital again Friday evening and they couldn't find anything wrong other than I was really dehydrated. I kind of wanted them to keep me till I felt stronger but they did send me home that night. I've been mostly in bed since then and barely eating anything.

They gave me some nausea medicine which is helping but I still feel really weak and it's kind of scary because mom isn't feeling well either and we're kind of struggling trying to take care of each other. I'm hoping if I can start eating again I can get some strength back.

And then I'm going to try the Cymbalta again because I really need some help with the depression, with everything that's been going on I'm having a really tough time dealing. The doctor said I might tolerate it better if I take it at night so I'll be asleep if any side effects come up.


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## squeezablysoft (Apr 13, 2020)

New video for Easter!


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## squeezablysoft (Jun 13, 2020)

So I've been taking the Cymbalta for about 3 months now. I had 1 really good day but other than that it doesn't seem to be helping even though they upped my dose 3 times.

It's hard to tell though what is just a normal reaction to all the stuff going on in the world and in my life right now vs what's actually mental illness symptoms. It doesn't help either that my mom doesn't understand depression or even believe it's a real thing. So instead of trying to help and comfort me she just makes me feel worse about everything especially myself.

I'm calling my doctor on Monday to get my medication changed. But I'm not feeling really hopeful about it and honestly think I'm going to end up having to go to a mental hospital, which will totally freak mom out.

Anyway if it's ok to do here I'm putting a link to the GoFundMe page I set up for mine and my mom's medical needs. I tried to put it in my signature but I can't figure out how to make it show up.









Family with Multiple Disabilities organized by Davia Withers


Hi there! 8-)My name is Davia Withers and I am starting this campaign to raise money f… Davia Withers needs your support for Family with Multiple Disabilities




www.gofundme.com


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## squeezablysoft (Aug 5, 2020)

Yet another loooong overdue update. I took a bad fall about a month ago and got pretty banged up. Went to the hospital and got checked out, no broken bones thankfully although when they cat scanned my back they found I have some spinal compressions that are probably contributing to my back pain. Since then I've been bedridden because I was dizzy (dehydrated which was probably what caused the fall in the first place) and having a lot of pain initially and now I'm better but still need to build my strength back up.

After my doctor saw my back scan he put me on Gabapentin and it's been great, much less pain plus I'm sleeping better and even my spasticity is improved. Also since Cymbalta wasn't really helping me the doctor switched me to Effexor. Been taking it for 2 weeks now and I think we might have found the right med this time since I've been coping pretty well in spite of the hot mess my life has become as of late.

Which brings me to the other major recent happening, yesterday I found out my PayPal account got hacked and they cleaned out my bank account. So I've been talking to PayPal and my bank to try to sort it out but meanwhile I'm scrambling to figure out how to get the rent and other bills paid.

I'm taking 2 online classes this Fall and will have some leftover financial aid money from that coming to me at the end of the month, but not sure how I'll cover my expenses until then. Been looking for loans but they are hard to get with a short credit history.

To end on a more positive note, I'm going next week to get my id card made so I can get in-state tuition next year. With my mobility challenges finding transportation and arranging to get me somewhere is like planning a military operation so I'm very pleased that I was able to get it worked out. Since they're going to take my picture I need to do something about the matted mess my hair has become from a month of being stuck in bed plus uncountable months of depression self-neglect, but I'm working on it. At first I thought I'd just have to have it all cut off super short, but with a ton of patience I'm slowly getting it detangled.


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## Tad (Aug 5, 2020)

Oh wow, what a gauntlet life has thrown at you lately. Glad that you've come out the other end still fighting on. 

Our cat has been on gabapentin for years (she has a degenerating hock). We have to mix it in with her food, however. I presume you take it more easily than that! 

Good luck with your hair, the bank/paypal, bills, and not least, your hair!


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## squeezablysoft (Aug 29, 2020)

Sheesh, is it STILL August?! This is always a long month but especially this year. Paypal gave my money back but my bank locked my account and they said I can't get my money out until I actually physically go to the bank to confirm my identity. So I'm planning to do that asap.

The arrangement I had worked out to get my id card made fell through at the last minute but I did manage to get my voter registration card and that plus my rental lease and a testimony from my mother should do the trick and get me in-state tuition next year.

I've slacked off on my hair but I still need to get it done especially since I need to go to my bank and I do still plan to get my id card changed just to solidify my Floridian status and officially cut ties with SC.

I have a new personal caregiver who is very good (her daughter has CP so she is familiar with it) and next month when we get money she is going to take our lift van to get tags and stuff so it's legal to drive it. Then she can drive me to get my stuff done.

On the health front, I'm sitting up longer and longer now which is good. I do think the new meds are helping my depression, since I've only mildly freaked out about everything and I don't feel so hopeless as I did. I do have some leg, back and neck pain still but we're working on that too. I've got a mouthful of cavities (too depressed to care about oral hygiene plus a sugar addiction is a bad combination) that are starting to hurt especially at night when I'm trying to sleep but I've finally got dental insurance so I'm going to have some dental work done as soon as the van is running and the covid settles down a bit.


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## squeezablysoft (Aug 29, 2020)

Oh and I started my online classes, Social Psychology and Drawing 1. I'm doing great in Social Psychology but I'm a little discouraged comparing my drawings to my classmates'. But then the fact that I don't really know how to draw well is kinda the point of my being in the class I guess, that's what I'm there to learn. Our first two projects were to draw a still life arrangement of 6 small objects we had around our house and to draw sketches of these 3 cups that the teacher showed us pictures of. And I'm procrastinating from our current assignments rn, which are drawing a value scale and doing shaded drawings of a sphere, a cone and a cylinder. These are my first two assignments, sorry for the suckiness.


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## squeezablysoft (Sep 18, 2020)

Just a quick update, I feel better than I have in a while but I think I still am going to have to see about upping my meds plus seeing a therapist again (I was seeing one online for about a year but I stopped for financial reasons). Also possibly tmi but I think I'm currently suffering from the dreaded antidepressant side effect of libido drop. I couldn't, erm, reach completion the last time I...let my fingers do the walking so to speak. Which is something I never had a problem with before. And I've barely even really wanted to try since I started taking the Effexor. So I know I'm gonna regret this, but if anybody thinks they can make my little man in the canoe stand up and rock the boat, my inbox is open, send me what you will.


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## squeezablysoft (Sep 19, 2020)

And here's my latest assignment from drawing class.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 1, 2020)

I'm doing a #dailyselfie thing starting today. It won't always (ever?) be pretty, but it will always be honest.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 2, 2020)

My #dailyselfie for today. I had a bad night and was crying last night so my face is kinda puffy today. I also have like 3 chins lol.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 3, 2020)

So yeah most of these are probably going to be really boring.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 4, 2020)

Day 4 of #dailyselfie because if you've never taken a mask selfie, have you even lived during the #2020plague?


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 7, 2020)

Day 5: I didn't sleep at all last night so I was tired today but I did manage to keep my eyes open long enough to take my #dailyselfie


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## Tad (Oct 7, 2020)

Awww, SleepilySqueezablySoft!


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 7, 2020)

Day 6: Still sleepy but here I am.


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## Jerry Thomas (Oct 8, 2020)

I slept well until about 3:00 am, then I couldn't get back to sleep. So today I am semi-sleepy.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 9, 2020)

Day 7: Today I tried to kinda show my hot mess hair situation. I'll feature my mop in my #dailyselfie every so often so y'all can see how it's (hopefully!) progressing.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 9, 2020)

Day 8: My #dailyselfie


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 9, 2020)

Day 9: Lunch (I didn't get a picture of breakfast, so just imagine a bowl of Fruity Pebbles lol)


Dinner:


What my food sees:


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 11, 2020)

Day 10:  Present


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## Rock400 (Oct 11, 2020)

How much do you weigh now squeezablysoft?


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 12, 2020)

Rock400 said:


> How much do you weigh now squeezablysoft?



About 150 lbs.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 12, 2020)

Day 11: I actually think I look kinda cute in this pic, I don't feel as good as I look but still looking good is something.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 13, 2020)

Day 12 of #dailyselfie: #pearface


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 15, 2020)

Day 13: Took this pic with a new light that has a cool white light bulb.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 16, 2020)

Day 14: Just another #dailyselfie


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 16, 2020)

Day 15: Idk why my lips look so pale today, hoping I'll have the motivation and energy to start wearing makeup eventually.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 17, 2020)

Day 16: *Sigh* Should I just cut my hair off and start fresh?


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## Sonic Purity (Oct 17, 2020)

squeezablysoft said:


> Day 16: *Sigh* Should I just cut my hair off and start fresh?
> View attachment 137844


Whether intentional or otherwise, the blur makes your hair look artistic. (I’ve been selectively cutting off the split ends and excessively frizzed parts of my hair.)

The contemplative, far-away gaze suggests your strong mental abilities.
In an alternative universe where Lyft is now offering Tardis service (with the Doctor driving), here you’ve joined Henry Kissinger and Albert Einstein for an in-depth discussion, trying to figure out how the world got where it did in 2020.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 18, 2020)

Sonic Purity said:


> Whether intentional or otherwise, the blur makes your hair look artistic. (I’ve been selectively cutting off the split ends and excessively frizzed parts of my hair.)
> 
> The contemplative, far-away gaze suggests your strong mental abilities.
> In an alternative universe where Lyft is now offering Tardis service (with the Doctor driving), here you’ve joined Henry Kissinger and Albert Einstein for an in-depth discussion, trying to figure out how the world got where it did in 2020.



This picture does kinda have that "mad genius" vibe lol.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 18, 2020)

Day 17: Yet another #dailyselfie


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 20, 2020)

Day 18: So today my mom commented on how my mouth always turns down and she was like "Don't do that, you're a pretty girl and it ruins your face when you do that". I suppose it never occurred to her that her fat-shaming me like she was doing again last night might not exactly make me more smiley. But anyway, I tried to smile a little in this picture. I'm still too embarrassed about my awful teeth to take a full smile pic but I'm doing this #dailyselfie project to try to honestly depict what life with depression is like so I guess that's just another part of it.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 20, 2020)

Day 19: Another basic #dailyselfie


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 20, 2020)

Day 20: I think I can see some progress on my hair.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 23, 2020)

I've gotten a little bit behind on posting my #dailyselfie pics but I have been taking them each day and will post asap. Been behind on stuff in general cause I've had a massive toothache.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 24, 2020)

Day 21: A little different angle for this #dailyselfie


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 24, 2020)

Day 22: #dailyselfie featuring a giant rats' nest.


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## larce (Oct 25, 2020)

you have pretty eyes .full sweet lips and you look very cuddly !


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## larce (Oct 25, 2020)

thank you for liking my post ! you seem very sweet and lovable ,especially like the picture with your glasses ! I also think you look wonderful smiling ! larce


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## larce (Oct 26, 2020)

i have plans of going to Florida next year for a couple of weeks ,Are you in a relationship or are you available for a tour of the area ?


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 27, 2020)

larce said:


> i have plans of going to Florida next year for a couple of weeks ,Are you in a relationship or are you available for a tour of the area ?



I'm at my mom's house rn but I'm going to be going back to college next year. That won't be till August though so it depends what time of year you're thinking of coming down.


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## larce (Oct 27, 2020)

I am hoping for July if I am done with work then ! How far from Tampa are you ? OH and what do you enjoy doing in your area ? Larce


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 27, 2020)

Day 23: I felt brave today and decided to go ahead and take a picture that shows the mess my mouth is.


The bad tooth (actually have several but this is the one that hurts worst rn):


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 27, 2020)

Day 24: I should stop pretending to be happy, it really makes me look like a dork.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 27, 2020)

Day 25: Back to normal for this pic. Two more months till Christmas.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 27, 2020)

Day 26: Been a rough week.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 27, 2020)

Day 27: Next time I get new glasses I should probably get the anti reflective coating.


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## larce (Oct 27, 2020)

could be worse ,are you getting dental implants or crowns ? (you are still very pretty !!!!) smile


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 31, 2020)

Day 28: Yep still here.


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 31, 2020)

Day 29: Here


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## squeezablysoft (Oct 31, 2020)

Day 30: Glad this month is almost over.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 2, 2020)

larce said:


> could be worse ,are you getting dental implants or crowns ? (you are still very pretty !!!!) smile


It's a bit complicated because I have no way of getting to the dentist rn. First thing I gotta do is get a ramp built cause I'm a wheelchair user and every entryway in my house has a step. Everyone I've talked to about building a ramp has quoted me some crazy high price. So I think I'm going to start calling churches around here to see if anyone might be willing to help.


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## larce (Nov 2, 2020)

that is unfortunate !I am a contractor and have built many of those ramps ,but I live some 3ooo miles away ! I hope you will find someone who can build it for a decent price ! I think around 700 in materials is about right ,lumber prices have increased due to fires and hurricanes !


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## Sonic Purity (Nov 2, 2020)

squeezablysoft said:


> It's a bit complicated because I have no way of getting to the dentist rn. First thing I gotta do is get a ramp built cause I'm a wheelchair user and every entryway in my house has a step. Everyone I've talked to about building a ramp has quoted me some crazy high price. So I think I'm going to start calling churches around here to see if anyone might be willing to help.



OK, i found out something else i hate about this ridiculous forum software, forcing me to post: my finger slipped on the Like, as i tried to figure out the meaning of the other choices, and i see _no way to remove a Like or similar response_. What is up with that?!

So i have to put the true meaning in text.
• Do like that you’re pursuing options.
• Sad that there are price barriers, and currently physical barriers, to your dental health. (This is the emoji i was searching for.)

larce is a contractor (and Apple autocorrect doesn’t want me to type his name); i am not. I don’t understand why it has to be as much as $700.

Besides churches, what about contacting the local branch of Habitat for Humanity? Someone might have some spare time and materials to make you a ramp.

Apologies to all for this likely-worthless post. I wouldn’t have made it if the forum software let me remove my accidental Like.

Best Dental and All Other Health Wishes!


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 4, 2020)

Day 31: You know you're depressed when this is your candy day face.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 4, 2020)

Also I have somehow managed to be a chubby girl with a teeny tiny thigh gap. Gaze upon it.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 4, 2020)

11/01/2020 Day 32: Starting my 2nd month of #dailyselfie wonder how long I'll keep going?


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 4, 2020)

11/02/2020 Day 33: So tomorrow everything changes...


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 4, 2020)

11/03/2020 Day 34: ...Or not


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 4, 2020)

Arby's is just ok, change my mind.


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## JayDanger (Nov 6, 2020)

squeezablysoft said:


> Arby's is just ok, change my mind.
> View attachment 138096


I can only go by Canadian Arby's, but they were VERY hit or miss. It was either delicious, dry, or made me sick lol.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 9, 2020)

11/04/2020 Day 35: What's happening? What planet are we on? What's the square root of potatoes plus socks divided by lavender?


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 9, 2020)

11/05/2020 Day 36: This is my impatient face.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 9, 2020)

11/06/2020 Day 37: Going crazy with toothache again but otherwise ok. Getting more hopeful about current events. Upped my Effexor from 75 mg to 150 mg, hoping that helps.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 9, 2020)

11/07/2020 Day 38: For this momentous day I'm going to go out of character and smile my best smile (even though it's still not very good). This #dailyselfie is for you, Joe and Kamala.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 9, 2020)

11/08/2020 Day 39: I had a dream last night that the increase in my Effexor dose really worked and I wasn't feeling depressed at all any more. I was suddenly optimistic and excited for the future and motivated to do things. I even wanted to clean my room lol!


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## AmyJo1976 (Nov 9, 2020)

Fight that demon girl. Don't let it take control of you. You are a beautiful woman. Don't let anything get you down. Be strong, love your life, and fight! I know how it is to be without hope, but your amazing will come to you'll be patient enough


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 9, 2020)

11/08/2020 Purple sky out my window tonight.


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## Sonic Purity (Nov 10, 2020)

squeezablysoft said:


> What's the square root of potatoes plus socks divided by lavender?


Hockey puck, is what i’m getting. Now the cube root looks to be curling stone.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 17, 2020)

11/09/2020 Day 40: Today was a great day. I finally got a ramp to get out through my garage so today was the first day in a loooooong time that I got in my wheelchair and went outside.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 17, 2020)

11/10/2020 Day 41: I'm glad things finally seem to be going in the right direction.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 17, 2020)

11/11/2020 Day 42: Been taking my #dailyselfie every day but been slacking off on posting.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 17, 2020)

11/12/2020 Day 43: So apparently my pulse is too high and I have to take a beta blocker now. Doctor said it might help me be less tired which is good because I've been really


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 17, 2020)

11/13/2020 Day 44: Friday the 13th was thankfully uneventful in my neighborhood.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 25, 2020)

11/14/2020 Day 45: Man, I really need to stay on top of this better!


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 25, 2020)

11/15/2020 Day 46: I've heard that your eyebrows drop as you get older so if you raise them up you look younger. Is it working?


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 25, 2020)

11/16/2020 Day 47: Got up in the wheelchair and went outside again. This is my #dailyselfie and a couple other pics.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 25, 2020)

11/17/2020 Day 48: Didn't go out today but I think it's really good for me now that I can.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 25, 2020)

11/18/2020 Day 49: Ordered Bob Evans (breakfast for) dinner tonight. Yum yum!


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 25, 2020)

11/19/2020 Day 50: Mom is really sick today, I'm hoping A. It's not covid and B. I don't catch it. Our house call doctor is out of town and won't be able to see us till Tuesday.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 30, 2020)

11/20/2020 Day 51: Just what I was afraid of, I'm sick too. My body is violently rejecting everything I ever ate. My face hasn't actually turned bright pink though that's just my phone being weird.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 30, 2020)

11/21/2020 Day 52: Still nauseous but no more puking today thank goodness.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 30, 2020)

11/22/2020 Day 53: Tummy feels better but not testing it much (eating bland). Still exhausted and now have a terrible headache. Mom had that too so it goes with whatever bug we've got (not rona hopefully).


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 30, 2020)

11/23/2020 Day 54: This is what happens when you take a #dailyselfie at night apparently.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 30, 2020)

11/24/2020 Day 55: So the doctor came to the house today, he said we probably have a virus but he doesn't think it's THE virus.


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## Rojodi (Nov 30, 2020)

squeezablysoft said:


> 11/18/2020 Day 49: Ordered Bob Evans (breakfast for) dinner tonight. Yum yum!
> View attachment 138333
> 
> View attachment 138334
> ...



Breakfast for dinner is always a fav!!


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 30, 2020)

11/25/2020 Day 56: 'Tis a month before Christmas, one day till Thanksgiving, but I'm not feeling festive, my poor head is spinning.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 30, 2020)

11/26/2020 Day 57: Thanksgiving but I'm not exactly in feasting condition. ☹


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 30, 2020)

11/27/2020 Day 58: Black Friday in the hospital with dehydration. They gave me two bags of fluids to get my blood pressure back up.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 30, 2020)

11/28/2020 Day 59: Hospital discharged me this morning. They found I have gallstones but they don't need to come out right now.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 30, 2020)

11/29/2020 Day 60: Well, November 2020 is finally almost over.


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## squeezablysoft (Nov 30, 2020)

11/30/2020 Day 61: Tomorrow begins the last month of this horrible, no good, very bad year.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 16, 2020)

12/01/2020 Day 62: Today is the first day of the last month of The Year That Henceforth Shall Not Be Named.
#dailyselfie


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 16, 2020)

12/02/2020 Day 63: I'm having the worst pain I've ever had in my life! Backache that moves around the side to my stomach like a belt of pain. Had to call the ambulance and go to the emergency room.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 16, 2020)

12/03/2020 Day 64: So it looks like my gallbladder does need to come out now. My surgery is scheduled for 5:00 tonight.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 16, 2020)

12/04/2020 Day 65: Do I look any different without a gallbladder? Still in tons of pain. I'm on oxygen because my oxygen level is too low but I think it's just because it hurts too much for me to take a deep breath.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 16, 2020)

12/05/2020 Day 66: Still in agony even though they're giving me pain meds.


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## littlefairywren (Dec 16, 2020)

I hope the operation is a success, honey & that your pain eases asap xx


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 16, 2020)

12/06/2020 Day 67: Beginning to wonder if I'll ever feel better. Apparently most people get discharged from the hospital the day after the surgery but I'm still in too much pain to even sit up or roll over on my own.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 16, 2020)

12/07/2020 Day 68: I'm back on solid food but I'm still hurting really bad.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 16, 2020)

12/08/2020 Day 69: They're sending me home today but I'm worried since I still don't feel better.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 16, 2020)

12/09/2020 Day 70: Still having a rough time with the pain but I managed to get a little sleep last night. But at least the bad cough I've had since the surgery disappeared almost immediately after I got home.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 16, 2020)

12/10/2020 Day 71: The pain was really bad today. They sent me home with a prescription for a few pain pills but I'm afraid of running out of them before I feel good enough to cope without them.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 16, 2020)

12/11/2020 Day 72: Feeling a little bit better today finally. Starting to think I might actually live.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 16, 2020)

12/12/2020 Day 73: Took my last pain pill today but I think I can manage even though I am still hurting.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 16, 2020)

12/13/2020 Day 74: Ten days post-op and I can finally stand to move around a little bit without crying.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 16, 2020)

12/14/2020 Day 75: Nurse came today and said my incisions look good and my vital signs are right where they should be.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 16, 2020)

12/15/2020 Day 76: I don't want to rush things but I think I'm going to be ready to start physical therapy again soon. I feel much better, the only downside is I'm supposed to follow a low fat diet for at least a month after the surgery.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 19, 2020)

12/16/2020 Day 77: Doing a little better every day. I'm not fully recovered yet but I'm starting to believe I will be someday.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 19, 2020)

12/17/2020 Day 78: I can take full breaths and sit up for a little bit now.


----------



## squeezablysoft (Dec 19, 2020)

12/18/2020 Day 79: Feeling kind of sleepy and blah but I forgot to take my medicine so that might be why.


----------



## squeezablysoft (Dec 20, 2020)

12/19/2020 Day 80: My face and the meme say it all.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 20, 2020)

12/20/2020 Day 81: It's just 5 more days till Christmas and I am trying to get in the mood.


----------



## squeezablysoft (Dec 21, 2020)

12/21/2020 Day 82: I didn't get any sleep last night but I made up for it by sleeping all day today.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 23, 2020)

12/22/2020 Day 83: Had my first physical therapy session since the surgery today. I was worried that my stomach muscles wouldn't work right after being cut but I actually did pretty well. I sat up on the edge of the bed for 10 minutes which is about what I was doing before the surgery.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 24, 2020)

12/23/2020 Day 84: Had my last nurse visit, she said my incisions look good and my vital signs are right where they should be still. Also one of my neighbors has a little dog that likes to come over and play with me. Mom said the neighbor came over with him a couple times while I was in the hospital and he was disappointed I wasn't here. So today the little neighbor dog (Rusty) came over and I fed him chicken and got lots of puppy kisses.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 24, 2020)

12/24/2020 Day 86: Friendly reminder, don't forget to hang your socks by the fireplace and leave a plate of baked goods and a glass of cow squeezings for the fat man tonight!


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 31, 2020)

12/25/2020 Day 87: Merry Christmas! Well, actually I know I'm posting this late so Christmas is already over but I'm making a resolution to get better about this. Anyway my Christmas isn't going well at all, my teeth are acting up again plus my tongue is sore from rubbing against one of my jagged teeth. But considering the holiday I'll try to low-key smile for today's #dailyselfie.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 31, 2020)

12/26/2020 Day 88: Teeth still hurting like crazy, the temporary filling stuff isn't helping anymore, not sure what to do.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 31, 2020)

12/27/2020 Day 89: Tonight the mouth pain was just beyond what I could take so I went back to the hospital even though I know there isn't much they can do about dental problems. They said I have an infected tooth that needs to come out and they gave me a Bactrim pill and a Percocet pill but it really didn't help. I told them but they said that was all they could do. I came home still crying from the pain just like when I went in. The healthcare system really needs to make adequate pain relief a serious priority. I know some people misuse opioids with disastrous results but the hospital is the safest place to take them I should think. 

Anyway I came home with rxs for Bactrim and Ibuprofen. But I probably won't be able to get them filled till tomorrow. The pain is starting to slowly get a little better, I slept most of the day and haven't eaten or even drank anything.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 31, 2020)

12/28/2020 Day 90: Another thing that made this whole tooth mess hard is that while I was literally crying in pain my mom was reaming me out about how it was my fault for eating junk and not brushing and that I was being overdramatic. She fussed about my having called the ambulance to go to the hospital but at least she let them take me.

My mouth still hurts but it is definitely improving even without the medication. But mom and I ended up arguing about not just my dental issues but a bunch of stuff that we usually fight about. So even though almost every day in my life at least semi-sucks, I have to say that today was even suckier than most.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 31, 2020)

12/29/2020 Day 91: So today mom acted like we didn't argue yesterday and everything was fine. Weird but she does that sometimes. The pain is almost gone even before I finally got my medicine late this afternoon. I know I need to get to a dentist asap though since the pain will just keep coming back until the bad teeth come out (I think at least 2 need to be removed). So I'm trying to figure that out.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 31, 2020)

12/30/2020 Day 91: Now that I have my medicine I'm feeling much better. Physically at least I don't have anymore mouth pain but emotionally I'm worried and frustrated cause now mom says I shouldn't go to the dentist until the covid situation goes away but I know that won't be for several months and as soon as I finish this round of antibiotics the infection and pain will just keep coming back. 

The doctor came today and said it looks like I'm all healed and doing great from the surgery. I asked him what the best thing to do is with the dental situation and he said I should go ahead and go and that the dentist's office is probably the safest place you could get covid-wise and that he'd recently had dental work done himself. After he left mom said she didn't believe that. I forgot to tell the doctor about my knee hurting and popping and how I think I need an increase in my Effexor dose.


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 10, 2021)

12/31/2020 Day 92: It's kind of interesting that the way I feel about the new year and the general state of the world right now kind of parallels how I feel about my own personal circumstances. Like things have been really terrible but I'm starting to have hope things will improve soon since it feels like things have surely hit rock bottom. But also things have been so bad for so long that I'm kind of afraid to be hopeful lest I be disappointed.


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 10, 2021)

01/01/2021 Day 93: Happy New Year! So far nothing awful has happened so so far so good.


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## Tad (Jan 11, 2021)

squeezablysoft said:


> 12/30/2020 Day 91: Now that I have my medicine I'm feeling much better. Physically at least I don't have anymore mouth pain but emotionally I'm worried and frustrated cause now mom says I shouldn't go to the dentist until the covid situation goes away but I know that won't be for several months and as soon as I finish this round of antibiotics the infection and pain will just keep coming back.
> 
> The doctor came today and said it looks like I'm all healed and doing great from the surgery. I asked him what the best thing to do is with the dental situation and he said I should go ahead and go and that the dentist's office is probably the safest place you could get covid-wise and that he'd recently had dental work done himself. After he left mom said she didn't believe that. I forgot to tell the doctor about my knee hurting and popping and how I think I need an increase in my Effexor dose.



FWIW I have been to the dentist, and with mine they did a screening at the door and had each person coming in use hand sanitizer as well as being masked. As soon as I was in the treatment room they gave me a particular mouth wash to swish with for 30 seconds, that apparently is good at killing the virus. The staff had on both masks and face shields and were taking extra sterilization steps. Overall it felt pretty safe. I suppose nothing is perfectly safe, but neither is leaving problems untreated, so personally I'd say go.


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## squeezablysoft (Feb 5, 2021)

02/05/2021 So yeah, I really dropped the ball on this #dailyselfie thing. I did take pics sporadically throughout last month but I did also miss some days. And I didn't post anything. 

Why? Ongoing dental problems, stomach flu (?), family issues, depression, too tired, too lazy, too busy watching tv and doing other random stuff on my phone for 12+ hours a day, the usual excuses. But I do plan to post the selfies I did take and get back on the ball about taking them again.

But for today I'll just leave you with the #dailyselfie I took today. I feel totally  today but I still pulled my head out of my puke bucket long enough to post this and even smile in the pic so that basically means I'm like heroic or something right?


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## Tad (Feb 5, 2021)

What is that old saying, something to the effect of it isn't how many times you fall down that matters, it is how many times you get back up? Sure you might have patches of not sticking to this plan, but keep working on it when you can.


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## squeezablysoft (Mar 2, 2021)

03/01/2021 So I guess I'm a trendsetter? Yay depression?








TikTok users are opening up about mental health and hygiene - and the conversation is long over-due


"You don't have to do all of the things - just brush your teeth."




www.yahoo.com


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## ODFFA (Mar 3, 2021)

squeezablysoft said:


> 03/01/2021 So I guess I'm a trendsetter? Yay depression?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Ha! Awesome article. Absolutely alllll the commendations. There are few things more awesome to set a trend for than mental health awareness and reminding people to be kind to themselves and cut themselves some slack.

ETA: I hope the depression lifts for you as soon as possible though. You deserve the relief.


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## squeezablysoft (Mar 8, 2021)

03/07/2021 So I got all the mess of my hair cut off today. Didn't leave me with much but it will grow back.


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## Tad (Mar 8, 2021)

It looks cute, SS!


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## littlefairywren (Mar 8, 2021)

squeezablysoft said:


> 03/07/2021 So I got all the mess of my hair cut off today. Didn't leave me with much but it will grow back.
> View attachment 140504


From one short haired lady to another, I think it looks lovely, honey. And yes, it will grow back.


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## squeezablysoft (Mar 9, 2021)

03/09/2021 Today I realized that I am Grumpy Cat's spirit animal.


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## Tad (Mar 10, 2021)

I laughed at that one!


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## squeezablysoft (Mar 12, 2021)

03/11/2021 This is me today.


This is my dinner from tonight roast and little potatoes and carrots and gravy.


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## Tad (Mar 12, 2021)

I like your hair in this one  Super cute to my eye.


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## squeezablysoft (Apr 8, 2021)

04/07/2021 I got my covid vaccine today! And I got the Johnson and Johnson one so it's one and done. Also got registered for my college classes for the fall, when I'll finally be going back on campus and to full-time classes.


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## TheShannan (Apr 9, 2021)

squeezablysoft said:


> 03/07/2021 So I got all the mess of my hair cut off today. Didn't leave me with much but it will grow back.
> View attachment 140504


I got a pixie cut back in November. I wasn't a fan of it then but I recently got it shaped up as it grows and now I like it. As I've gotten older I realize that hair is hair and it grows back


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## jrose123 (Apr 10, 2021)

squeezablysoft said:


> 04/07/2021 I got my covid vaccine today! And I got the Johnson and Johnson one so it's one and done. Also got registered for my college classes for the fall, when I'll finally be going back on campus and to full-time classes.
> View attachment 141132
> 
> View attachment 141133


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## jrose123 (Apr 10, 2021)

When you get in campus...kick ass! So many people would kill to be you. Make yourself and them proud.


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## jrose123 (May 22, 2021)

I haven't been on in a while. It does my heart a whole lot of good to know that someone is pursuing their dream. I mean what I said...kick ass. Don't apologize for who you are and don't waste time trying to stuff a round peg into a square space. Be the best you and do yourself and us justice.


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## squeezablysoft (Jun 24, 2021)

Thursday 06/24/2021: So it's been awhile but I'm gonna try to get back into this daily selfie thing.


And here was the view out my window tonight.


#dailyselfie 
#prideinthesky


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## squeezablysoft (Jun 27, 2021)

Friday 6/25/2021: Just poking my head round the corner to say hi.
#dailyselfie


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## squeezablysoft (Jun 27, 2021)

Saturday 6/26/2021: Wild hair, don't care.
#dailyselfie


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## squeezablysoft (Jun 28, 2021)

Sunday 6/27/2021: Me: Ok Hair, can you lay down and behave yourself today?
My hair:




#dailyselfie


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## squeezablysoft (Jun 30, 2021)

Wednesday 6/30/2021:
I've been trying to smile in my #dailyselfies this year, be positive, fake it til you make it & all. But I kinda feel like there's something dishonest about this too. Because the reality is I'm not ok. I mean even more not ok than I usually am. The last few nights I've just laid awake crying all night. Therapy and meds aren't helping at all and my disillusionment with treatment is adding to my overall hopelessness. Everything seems pointless and miserable and I don't see how it can ever get better. So today's picture is ugly but it's real and honestly ugly is how I really feel too so it's the most honest thing.
#dailyselfie 
#depression


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## littlefairywren (Jun 30, 2021)

(((((@squeezablysoft)))))


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## TheShannan (Jun 30, 2021)

Hi everyone!! I took a break but I'm back!!


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## TheShannan (Jun 30, 2021)

squeezablysoft said:


> Wednesday 6/30/2021:
> I've been trying to smile in my #dailyselfies this year, be positive, fake it til you make it & all. But I kinda feel like there's something dishonest about this too. Because the reality is I'm not ok. I mean even more not ok than I usually am. The last few nights I've just laid awake crying all night. Therapy and meds aren't helping at all and my disillusionment with treatment is adding to my overall hopelessness. Everything seems pointless and miserable and I don't see how it can ever get better. So today's picture is ugly but it's real and honestly ugly is how I really feel too so it's the most honest thing.
> #dailyselfie
> #depression
> View attachment 143135


I hope you have a better night this evening, Hun


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## Tank (Jul 7, 2021)

squeezablysoft said:


> Wednesday 6/30/2021:
> I've been trying to smile in my #dailyselfies this year, be positive, fake it til you make it & all. But I kinda feel like there's something dishonest about this too. Because the reality is I'm not ok. I mean even more not ok than I usually am. The last few nights I've just laid awake crying all night. Therapy and meds aren't helping at all and my disillusionment with treatment is adding to my overall hopelessness. Everything seems pointless and miserable and I don't see how it can ever get better. So today's picture is ugly but it's real and honestly ugly is how I really feel too so it's the most honest thing.
> #dailyselfie
> #depression
> View attachment 143135


Depression is a bad disease. I've been living with it, at it's worst, the past 10/15 yrs. You just have to keep on your meds, and tell yourself every morning, that "I'm gonna do better today".


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## squeezablysoft (Jul 9, 2021)

Thursday 07/01/2021: Another rough day, still holding it together.
#depression 
#dailyselfie


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## squeezablysoft (Jul 9, 2021)

Friday 07/02/2021:Today is my older biological half-brother's birthday. We haven't seen each other in person since I was 1 and he was 3 and we don't have much of a relationship but we do follow each other on Insta so I left him a quick happy birthday. He turns 39 today, I guess we're all getting old now.
#dailyselfie 
#happybirthdaybrother


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## squeezablysoft (Jul 9, 2021)

Saturday 07/03/2021: My mom has been very sick for a long time but she really took a bad turn late last night and ended up in the hospital. I didn't get a pic today since it's been crazy busy getting updates from the hospital and trying to find care for myself as well.
#dailyselfie 
#nottoday


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## JBfromNH (Jul 14, 2021)

I know the feeling. Hang in there and take care of yourself


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## NZ Mountain Man (Jul 21, 2021)

LeoGibson said:


> Unless you’re 7 ft tall, no ones body wants to weigh 315 lbs. it just doesn’t and no amount of pseudoscience is going to make that statement true. There’s so many different variables but off the top of my head, I bet if your diet was structured in a way that you covered your macronutrient needs in a more nutritious way, you’d likely have a hard time eating enough to get to that 3,000 kcal mark. You could, but it would take way more food than you think. If you’re eating calorically dense food with little nutritional value then no, it’s not hard to bang 3,000 kcals in a day but when it’s things like grilled chicken, lean steak, broccoli, rice, sweet potatoes sans butter and brown sugar it’s much harder.
> 
> But don’t get me wrong, by all means if you want to weigh that then go for it. I myself walk around at 320 and I’m pretty content. And it takes me at my activity level around 4,000-4,300 kcals a day to maintain this body weight.
> 
> There is some merit to the set point theory and not all people operate optimally at a low body fat. But to think a body that is say for instance 5’7 or so “wants” to be 315 lbs. as an optimal body weight is highly spurious.


Empty Calories is the easy way of consumming a lot but if you go fat free diet the body will fatten up on a lot less calories.


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## NZ Mountain Man (Jul 21, 2021)

SSBHM said:


> Great resolution. I hope others see and follow your example.
> This is a community and we should be more active and interested in what others are doing.
> I'm going to try to follow your rule - 3 posts daily - and other resolutions are:
> 1. Stay the course, continue letting myself gain. I like being big and would like to get to 400 or more.
> ...


This can be dangerous due to being hollow. Children Tag building etc because they feel invisible. They are invisible because they are not in lives of the physical world. Look for physical contact as well as this hyperspace connection.


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## NZ Mountain Man (Jul 21, 2021)

squeezablysoft said:


> Yup, any advice for my first time?


Anti Depressants are not a long term or healthy solution. Your physical world affects your emotional world. Depression is bottoming out due to a lack of sentient needs being fulfilled. To shake up your emotional state you need to shake your physical world. Activities.

You are wheel chair bound, which is limiting but so is being scared of heights. Get out of your comfort zone. The comfort zone is putting your physical world in a rut. This can only put your emotional world in a rut. This is denying you the sentient need to succeed/have successes at things.


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## NZ Mountain Man (Jul 21, 2021)

squeezablysoft said:


> So I've been taking the Cymbalta for about 3 months now. I had 1 really good day but other than that it doesn't seem to be helping even though they upped my dose 3 times.
> 
> It's hard to tell though what is just a normal reaction to all the stuff going on in the world and in my life right now vs what's actually mental illness symptoms. It doesn't help either that my mom doesn't understand depression or even believe it's a real thing. So instead of trying to help and comfort me she just makes me feel worse about everything especially myself.
> 
> ...


Depression is mental illness. A mental illness is a state of mind that prevents you from living your life. The way out of it is to start living your life. You will not be able to do that alone; it requires someone to drag you into activities and at the end of the activity take notice of how it disrupted you depression. The more you disrupt it the less it becomes your life/existence.


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## NZ Mountain Man (Jul 21, 2021)

A sentient need you appear to be missing causes depression is that you are lacking a sense of HOPE. Building up successes at activities will change this.


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## NZ Mountain Man (Jul 21, 2021)

squeezablysoft said:


> New video for Easter!



I
I like your food groups. Crunchy, chewy and by the way processed fruit does not count as fruit.

Protein, Minerals, Vitamins, Fibre etc.


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## NZ Mountain Man (Jul 21, 2021)

squeezablysoft said:


> Day 4 of #dailyselfie because if you've never taken a mask selfie, have you even lived during the #2020plague?
> View attachment 137706





squeezablysoft said:


> Day 4 of #dailyselfie because if you've never taken a mask selfie, have you even lived during the #2020plague?
> View attachment 137706



No I have not been through the plague. As a Kiwi (New Zealander) we were ignorant of the plague and did let it in. It got into a nursing home and the first death was mistaken for common cold. Then it was upgrades to pneumonia and after the quick death was diagnosed as the plague.


New Zealand went into a HARD Lockdown. It lasted 5 weeks as a target of 21 days of no community spreading had to be established. Then we went down levels until it was decided it was safe, about another 8 weeks. As a result of the initial exposure this country suffered 25 deaths and 2,500 infected.


We have had scares at the boarder but it has been kept out, this as made us complacent, which means vulnerable.


Fiji was also plague free and I suspect it was people smuggling that got them contaminated. It is wiping them out like previous plagues like Scarlet Fever and Small Pox.


We should all be vaccinated by 2022.


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## NZ Mountain Man (Jul 21, 2021)

squeezablysoft said:


> This picture does kinda have that "mad genius" vibe lol.


The answer is simple. Greed and idolising the wealthy.
the loss of parenting skills.
Nuclear families instead of extended families preventing wisdom of others mistakes correct paths.


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## NZ Mountain Man (Jul 21, 2021)

squeezablysoft said:


> Day 18: So today my mom commented on how my mouth always turns down and she was like "Don't do that, you're a pretty girl and it ruins your face when you do that". I suppose it never occurred to her that her fat-shaming me like she was doing again last night might not exactly make me more smiley. But anyway, I tried to smile a little in this picture. I'm still too embarrassed about my awful teeth to take a full smile pic but I'm doing this #dailyselfie project to try to honestly depict what life with depression is like so I guess that's just another part of it.
> View attachment 137904



Her expression of you doing a wrong thing is wrongfully applied. The problem often is that they do not know how to get you out of the mess your life has become.


Being fat is a choice and often done in a self-destructive act. Sometimes it is done from desire to try it out. A lot of the time it occurs through body malfunction.


I have a 53-inch (134 centimetres) waist and in kilos I am a lot. I read articles written by weight gainers stating how much they eat to be there weight of 120 kilograms. I compared it to my food list and I was one tenth of their list and considerably heavier. I made a big mistake and cut fat out of my diet and ballooned to my size.


My weight gain was caused by a fungus, which has taken hold. I am killing infections trying to find the cure of the fungus. I smashed it with a frequency of orange light and a laser. I lost 6 kilos in 2 weeks. I pig out eating forbidden foods.


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## NZ Mountain Man (Jul 21, 2021)

Tank said:


> Depression is a bad disease. I've been living with it, at it's worst, the past 10/15 yrs. You just have to keep on your meds, and tell yourself every morning, that "I'm gonna do better today".


There are so many simple steps to climb out of the depression pit and none of them come from a pill bottle. The sad news is tat you cannot do it own your own.

Get out of your emotional rut by addressing issues that are sucking out your sense of self-worth, self-esteem, hope and living in a ‘comfort place’ which means you are not expanding as a person.


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## JBfromNH (Jul 23, 2021)

squeezablysoft said:


> Saturday 07/03/2021: My mom has been very sick for a long time but she really took a bad turn late last night and ended up in the hospital. I didn't get a pic today since it's been crazy busy getting updates from the hospital and trying to find care for myself as well.
> #dailyselfie
> #nottoday


hugs


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## Sonic Purity (Sep 2, 2021)

NZ Mountain Man said:


> There are so many simple steps to climb out of the depression pit and none of them come from a pill bottle. The sad news is tat you cannot do it own your own.
> 
> Get out of your emotional rut by addressing issues that are sucking out your sense of self-worth, self-esteem, hope and living in a ‘comfort place’ which means you are not expanding as a person.



Yeah no, i don’t think so with the “simple steps”. I’ve been dealing with depression for many decades, through all kinds of major life changes and trying many things. Pharma pills work for some people, but they didn’t for me. Various flavors of psychotherapy (mostly decades ago) helped, initially a lot, but not enough to clear things. Intestinal microbiome improvements have helped, but again aren’t enough on their own. Still working things out.

And how about this?: if the thing sucking out my sense of self-worth is society having rejected me for having any value as a human being, and it’s greater society doing that, how am i supposed to address that?


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## NZ Mountain Man (Sep 2, 2021)

Everyone at some stage enters depression. I have always had great support around me so I have never done Prolonged Depression. The physical toll can be devastating. The whole cosmos does not care about me so why should I care about me is a path to complex complications. It is because you have added layers. Each layer has to be dealt with and dealt with correctly.
You probably could not recall parts of the issues. There is one thing common with all depression. 
IT IS BASED on a LIE.
You cannot do it. You are useless. You are unacceptable etcetera.
File an the negativity is the trash where they belong instead of using them as affirmations.
You need to get your body healthy, that not a comment about weight but about the circulation systems.
You need to break RUT routines. Any activity including bouncing a ball up and down. 
You need something to look forward to.
With decades of bad practices it will take a lot to side step your current location. Just remember it can be done.
You cannot do it on your own as you need someone on the outside of your rut to guide you out. 
Simple cleansing of biological systems require someone to identify problems. Intestinal microbiome cleaning requires someone to guide as stagnant people suffer all sorts of issues. 
You can come better. Trust yourself. You are not here to just suffer.


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## squeezablysoft (Sep 15, 2021)

Wednesday 09/15/2021:
Just to catch y'all up, my mom and I went in the hospital on 09/02, me for UTI her for pneumonia and we just got transferred to a rehab place to get stronger on 09/13. I've been sick the past couple days and thought it was just a cold but I tested positive for covid today. 
#dailyselfie 
#covid
#coronavirus


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## Tad (Sep 15, 2021)

Ah frick! I hope you end up with a mild case.


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## littlefairywren (Sep 16, 2021)

Big hugs, honey. Lots of healing vibes for you. ❤


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## Yakatori (Sep 26, 2021)

squeezablysoft said:


> thought it was just a cold but I tested positive for covid today.
> #dailyselfie



Wait, so does that make you a 'breakthrough' case?


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## Yakatori (Sep 26, 2021)

squeezablysoft said:


> _...thought it was just a cold but I tested positive for covid today._



Wait, so does that make you a 'breakthrough' case?


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## squeezablysoft (Sep 29, 2021)

09/29/2021 Wednesday: Yes, I got one of the breakthrough cases. My mom ended up testing positive too so I think we probably got it at the hospital in spite of everyone taking the proper precautions. 

We finally came off quarantine on Monday but mom fell and broke her hip that morning and had to go to the hospital. I haven't been able to get in touch with her or her nurse since Monday night so I'm asking for prayers for her to heal well and come back soon.

On the positive side I'm doing well with my physical therapy and had an actual shower and got my hair washed and even went outside for the first time in a long time today.

Also there is a dentist who comes to the rehab place so I should be able to get my ouchie teeth taken care of soon. Also also I had my first experience being moved in the Hoyer lift, I was afraid it might be scary but it's actually kind of fun, like swinging on the swing set when I was little. Speaking of little, I definitely am not little anymore, the Hoyer has a weighing function so I got my accurate weight for the first time in ages. 178.6 lbs, a new high for me!


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## NZ Mountain Man (Sep 30, 2021)

Covid 19 does not seem to exist anymore so I assume you mean Covid Delta. My friend in the Americas died from Covid Lamba. He survived Covid 19 and had natural immunity. He said it was a very different corona virus from the first one before he died.I hope you can find the right enzymes to beat ti.


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## squeezablysoft (Dec 4, 2021)

12/03/2021 Friday: This is going to be a very short post and no selfie today. I'm letting you all know that my mom died tonight. She had been sick with a number of serious illnesses for quite some time so it wasn't really a surprise but of course it's always a shock to lose someone. I'll get back to more regular postings soon.


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## NZ Mountain Man (Dec 4, 2021)

squeezablysoft said:


> 12/03/2021 Friday: This is going to be a very short post and no selfie today. I'm letting you all know that my mom died tonight. She had been sick with a number of serious illnesses for quite some time so it wasn't really a surprise but of course it's always a shock to lose someone. I'll get back to more regular postings soon.


Sorry to hear. Things change now. It will go from horrible to sucks. Do not alow your s self to sink and stay at the bottom. Your are still alive and need to live a life. Remember her for the all the warm things she did. Treasure you time together and make new times.


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## Colonial Warrior (Dec 4, 2021)

squeezablysoft said:


> 12/03/2021 Friday: This is going to be a very short post and no selfie today. I'm letting you all know that my mom died tonight. She had been sick with a number of serious illnesses for quite some time so it wasn't really a surprise but of course it's always a shock to lose someone. I'll get back to more regular postings soon.


My most sincere condolences to you and your family.


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## littlefairywren (Dec 4, 2021)

squeezablysoft said:


> 12/03/2021 Friday: This is going to be a very short post and no selfie today. I'm letting you all know that my mom died tonight. She had been sick with a number of serious illnesses for quite some time so it wasn't really a surprise but of course it's always a shock to lose someone. I'll get back to more regular postings soon.


Oh, honey, I'm so sorry to read about your mum. 
Lots of soft hugs. ((((squeezy))))


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## BouncingBoy (Dec 5, 2021)

Sympathies from the nest


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## Tad (Dec 6, 2021)

squeezablysoft said:


> 12/03/2021 Friday: This is going to be a very short post and no selfie today. I'm letting you all know that my mom died tonight. She had been sick with a number of serious illnesses for quite some time so it wasn't really a surprise but of course it's always a shock to lose someone. I'll get back to more regular postings soon.



I'm so sorry. (((you))) My deepest sympathies and I'll be thinking about you.


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 2, 2022)

I'm going to start getting back into social media for the new year. And I'm going to be heading to Jacksonville to do the upcoming spring semester in residence at UNF on January 6th. Hope you all had a blessed holiday season and get good things to come in the new year.


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 2, 2022)

01/01/2022 Saturday: Happy New Year, earthlings! T-Minus 5 days till I move in to college, super excited but a little anxious too!


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 2, 2022)

01/02/2022 Sunday: This is a very rare picture that actually shows me with a genuine, happy smile. And today I found out that apparently my phone thinks I'm a baby, maybe because it hears me cry so much? Anyway, T-minus 4 days till lift-off.


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## Tad (Jan 3, 2022)

Maybe it is those chubby cheeks that it thinks look like a baby?

Good luck on the upcoming move and college semester!


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## BigElectricKat (Jan 3, 2022)

squeezablysoft said:


> 12/03/2021 Friday: This is going to be a very short post and no selfie today. I'm letting you all know that my mom died tonight. She had been sick with a number of serious illnesses for quite some time so it wasn't really a surprise but of course it's always a shock to lose someone. I'll get back to more regular postings soon.


I'm very sorry to hear of your mother's passing.


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## RVGleason (Jan 3, 2022)

squeezablysoft said:


> 12/03/2021 Friday: This is going to be a very short post and no selfie today. I'm letting you all know that my mom died tonight. She had been sick with a number of serious illnesses for quite some time so it wasn't really a surprise but of course it's always a shock to lose someone. I'll get back to more regular postings soon.



Sorry for your loss. My condolences.


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