# Online dating: BBW sites vs. non-specific sites



## MIgirl2008 (Jul 8, 2009)

I haven't posted before, but I figured the BBW forum might be a good place to start. 

I'm interested to know what other BBW experience with online dating sites. Do you feel, overall, your experiences with online dating are positive?
Do you notice a difference between BBW-specific sites and standard ones?

I am not sure how I feel about dating websites. My experience with standard sites (that don't cater to BBWs) has been a little frustrating.


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## olwen (Jul 8, 2009)

The only non bbw dating sites I tried were - okcupid, afroromance, and blackpeoplemeet. None of those worked for me. Okcupid worked for my friend in that she got a date, but it was a horrible date. I had much more luck with bbw dating sites, but I suppose luck is a realative term. I found it was really easy to hook up using the bbw dating sites, but it was hard finding a guy who was interested in more than just casual sex. I also had luck with the various BDSM dating sites because they have BBW/BHM sections. But if that isn't your thing then that won't work. 

I think any dating site can work, but you just have to slog thru the jerks before you find a decent guy. Same can be said for men as well. We all have to talk to a lot of people before we find a goodun, but I found that process to be too much work and I've sworn off dating sites all together. I just don't have the energy for all the nonsense. I'll just have to meet someone the old fashioned way. I'm willing to wait.


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## littlefairywren (Jul 8, 2009)

I am on a couple and to tell you the truth am starting to get really tired of the whole thing. 

I have encountered the following - men who tell me I am not fat enough, tell me I am too fat, they are slightly deranged, they are married, they have abnormal affections for stuffed animals, are only after sex, only want to know what I eat, men who send me pictures of their penis even before they find out my name. 

I am starting to wonder where the good ones are! If they even exist. 

Look, give it a go! Just be prepared to wade through the slush pile. Good luck


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## Tania (Jul 8, 2009)

I've had decent luck with OKC. Lots of dates, but no one has been quite right. 

The dude I totally fell for found me there, actually....


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## thatgirl08 (Jul 8, 2009)

My experience with dating sites is limited to free ones because well, I'm cheap and don't want to pay for one. I have never, ever gotten a date or even really started a long conversation with anyone from a BBW only site. I've had much much much better luck with regular ones.. especially OkCupid and Craigslist personals although Plenty of Fish is okay as well.

The most quality boys are found on this site though, imo.


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## Teresa (Jul 8, 2009)

I agree with thatgirl08. For me, BBW specific sites weren't very good, because it seemed all the men I met there lived too far away. I'm not interested in long distance, I want a guy who lives close by so we can actually spend time together on a regular basis. I've found Plenty Of Fish worked really well. Have met a lot of guys on there and all live close to me.

Teresa


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## sweet&fat (Jul 8, 2009)

In my experience, the men I met on BBW-specific dating sites were obsessive- truly focused on my size/body. The guys I encountered on POF were creepy and looking solely for sex. I tried some non BBW-specific sites such as Match and Chemistry; I was very upfront in my profile about my size and that I was looking for a man who can truly appreciate (i.e. not tolerate) a BBW. Although the dates were sometimes just as horrible, I'd say that the latter is the way to go, especially if you're looking for a quality man who just happens to like fat women.


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## MIgirl2008 (Jul 8, 2009)

It's interesting that 2 of you found Plenty of Fish to be decent. The guys who have contacted me on there seem to be real jerks. The worst ones contact me initially, and it's just annoying because why would someone email you first, and then be rude about it later. I could see if I were the one initiating emails, but I'm not. I totally understand if people are not interested, but if you bother to contact me first, you should at least be somewhat polite.


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## sweet&fat (Jul 8, 2009)

MIgirl2008 said:


> It's interesting that 2 of you found Plenty of Fish to be decent. The guys who have contacted me on there seem to be real jerks. The worst ones contact me initially, and it's just annoying because why would someone email you first, and then be rude about it later. I could see if I were the one initiating emails, but I'm not. I totally understand if people are not interested, but if you bother to contact me first, you should at least be somewhat polite.



Unfortunately, when it comes to online dating, you will see some pretty poor and nonsensical behavior. If you can, try to grow a thicker skin by reminding yourself that they're likely messed up and it has nothing to do with you.


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## comaseason (Jul 8, 2009)

I've had dates from Match, Craigslist, OKC, eHarmony and Chemistry. None were particular horror stories. I've never met anyone off of a BBW dating site - ever, which I always thought was odd.

I would not recommend Chemistry. Not because of the quality of men, but I'm not sure I buy their matching criteria, and I also don't think they have a big enough pool of men to warrant the highway robbery they charge for membership.

I'm over the dating site thing for the most part. It got tiresome after a while and I kind of gave up on it. I'd say out of all of them I preferred OKC and Craigslist the most. I felt like it was easier to get a feel for who the person was and that communication was freer and more open, probably because contacting people and talking was free.

Good luck!


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## StarWitness (Jul 9, 2009)

I like okcupid for its feel; it seems like a smart, quirky site where you can meet smart, quirky people. That's not necessarily the case, mind you-- although I had a pretty sweet fwb arrangement with someone I met on okc a few years ago-- but it stands out in my mind.


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## thatgirl08 (Jul 9, 2009)

MIgirl2008 said:


> It's interesting that 2 of you found Plenty of Fish to be decent. The guys who have contacted me on there seem to be real jerks.



I found that there are jerks pretty much everywhere, especially on dating sites/the internetz.

My mom found her boyfriend on POF, I'm pretty sure. Either that or Craigslist.


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## MIgirl2008 (Jul 9, 2009)

Yeah that's true.

In respones to:
Unfortunately, when it comes to online dating, you will see some pretty poor and nonsensical behavior. If you can, try to grow a thicker skin by reminding yourself that they're likely messed up and it has nothing to do with you.


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## petunia805 (Jul 9, 2009)

I'm surprised by the feedback of the BBW specific sites. I had a great experience!! It went like this....

I decided to try the whole online dating thing at the beginning of summer 2007. I used only BBW specific sites, as I thought I would find more men who would appreciate larger women there than on say eHarmony. I got a slew of responses in the first week. There was a weeding out process so to speak...some were jerks, some were just not a good match, others are still friends, etc. I really only dated 1 of the men, and he found me on the Dimensions Matching system. He contacted me 2 weeks after I put up my profile, we talked on the phone, A LOT, and finally met in september. We hit it off immediately, got engaged 2 weeks later, married 4 months after that, had a baby 9 months after THAT, and are totally crazy in love.:smitten:

The thing is, that you are going to find jerks in every population. You just have to weed them out. Realize that their jerkiness was there long before you, so it isn't about you. Also, dating sites aren't an either/or type of proposition. Why not use both and see for yourself where you find the best "catches". Word to the wise though...don't make the mistake that I did of trying to make your profile generic enough to appeal to everyone. I had a profile on another site, and my now hubby was on there too, and never even saw my profile because I said I smoked "occassionally" which I don't, but I don't necessarily mind if my partner does. (there's no box to check for that so I figured occassionally would do it.) 

Anyway, happy hunting to you!


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## Tania (Jul 9, 2009)

You really do have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.


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## Emma (Jul 9, 2009)

I've had great experiences with BBW dating sites such as largefriends.com but never had much luck with the 'normal' ones.


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## JerseyGirl07093 (Jul 9, 2009)

MIgirl2008 said:


> Yeah that's true.
> 
> In respones to:
> Unfortunately, when it comes to online dating, you will see some pretty poor and nonsensical behavior. If you can, try to grow a thicker skin by reminding yourself that they're likely messed up and it has nothing to do with you.



Just to let you know...if you hit that little button that says "quote" over on the right side of a person's post it will quote that post in your reply. And you can use the button with the plus sign and the quotation marks when you want to quote multiple posts. Hope I explained that right and I hope it helps.
Glad to see you're posting either way!


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## Make_Lunch_Not_War (Jul 9, 2009)

Tania said:


> You really do have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.



How true! However, if you go around "kissing frogs", you might want to avoid what happened to these women.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZS4m...521BAA52&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=39

Caution: The video above is for mature audiences only.


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## MsAppleCinnamon (Jul 9, 2009)

i tried out POFish, didnt like all to much, and other sites like fling or something like that when I was single..
some had responded, some didnt


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## Grandi Floras (Jul 10, 2009)

I think that all online dating sites are a waste of time. I years past, I have tryed paying for them and for trying free sites and they are all stupid. I think that some are just scams to get your email address and others are just to make a quick buck off of lonely people. 

I have not been on any of these sites for a long time and I certainly don't plan on ever being on any ever again. When I tryed some of these sites there were only sexual preditors that only wanted one thing (sex) and not a serious relationship with a BBW. So many men there think that that is the only thing a BBW is good for and we will settle for whatever we can get reguardless of who it is just so that we won't be alone, *that is a bunch of bunk and these sites are too!*


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## wobert (Jul 10, 2009)

I found my girlfriend on a BBW site. There are nice people out there!


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## Saxphon (Jul 12, 2009)

I am sorry to hear about all of the people that had troubles with 'on-line-dating' sites. I have to say though, I found my current relationship through Plenty Of Fish. I did have plenty of contacts that I tried to chat with there, and, many of them didn't even bother to respond. I thought I was polite and not too intrusive with my intitial contacts. I did however see a lot of women there that would fit the type of person I was looking for. Yes, I'm a guy - physical appearance was important to me. But, after that, a person has to have a personality and commom interests to have a good relationship.
I would like to say that we have been going out for about 6 months now, and I've never been happier. I hope she feels the same way (I think she does).
Ladies, I know there are a lot of men out there that are not deserving of your attention. But the few that do would like to just get a response in return - even if it is just a simple hello. I think that was the biggest disappoinment for me with all of the different sites I tried - people not responding to my introductions and simple intial greetings.


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## Grandi Floras (Jul 12, 2009)

Saxphon said:


> I am sorry to hear about all of the people that had troubles with 'on-line-dating' sites. I have to say though, I found my current relationship through Plenty Of Fish. I did have plenty of contacts that I tried to chat with there, and, many of them didn't even bother to respond. I thought I was polite and not too intrusive with my intitial contacts. I did however see a lot of women there that would fit the type of person I was looking for. Yes, I'm a guy - physical appearance was important to me. But, after that, a person has to have a personality and commom interests to have a good relationship.
> I would like to say that we have been going out for about 6 months now, and I've never been happier. I hope she feels the same way (I think she does).
> Ladies, I know there are a lot of men out there that are not deserving of your attention. But the few that do would like to just get a response in return - even if it is just a simple hello. I think that was the biggest disappoinment for me with all of the different sites I tried - people not responding to my introductions and simple intial greetings.



*I think that if I were to get better responces on these sites, I would have stayed a little longer.... maybe I will try again, I am lonely and would really like to meet someone nice. I don't have a lot of time to physically go looking as I work six days a week. Maybe this online thing might still work for me....*


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## bobbleheaddoll (Jul 12, 2009)

i used to do the internet dating thing...i figured that in this great big world the liklihood that i would meet my other half in my back yard were pretty slim. i tried eharmony for 2 months and 'based on compatability' got lots of matches. most of the guys i wrote to/wrote back to...the first thing they want is a picture. when i send them one...they are very direct in saying they are not into 'big girls' or never reply back. i was on a few of the sites that are for bbw/bhm...but didn't have alot of luck. most of them just want to talk cybersmut or are only interested in hooking up and not long term. i did meet one very nice guy via an internet site. we talked for a month online and then started calling. he was very brave online, but had little to no conversation or social skills once it got to real time. we ended up parting ways. 

i've given up on internet dating sites. i have made some really great male friends just by chatting to guys on regular forum sites i post on (ie dims, political sites, local interest sites), but they generally do not lead to romantic interest...just common interests and polite conversation.

the last several gentlemen i have dated i met just living my life...i met at the store...i met through a coworker, etc. i have gotten more dates with a friendly smile than i have with using a computer


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## littlefairywren (Jul 13, 2009)

Saxphon said:


> I am sorry to hear about all of the people that had troubles with 'on-line-dating' sites. I have to say though, I found my current relationship through Plenty Of Fish. I did have plenty of contacts that I tried to chat with there, and, *many of them didn't even bother to respond*. I thought I was polite and not too intrusive with my intitial contacts. I did however see a lot of women there that would fit the type of person I was looking for. Yes, I'm a guy - physical appearance was important to me. But, after that, a person has to have a personality and commom interests to have a good relationship.
> I would like to say that we have been going out for about 6 months now, and I've never been happier. I hope she feels the same way (I think she does).
> Ladies, I know there are a lot of men out there that are not deserving of your attention. *But the few that do would like to just get a response in return - even if it is just a simple hello. I think that was the biggest disappoinment for me with all of the different sites I tried - people not responding to my introductions and simple intial greetings*.



That would have to be one of my major disappointments! People that don't even respond to a "smile or wink". I made it a policy to respond to all of them, even the creeps (a simple thanks but no thanks costs no time really).

I hate the ones that initiate first contact, you think everything is peachy for a while and then they just drop off the face of the earth with no explanation!


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## Grandi Floras (Jul 13, 2009)

Well, I joined Plenty O Fish again, we will see what happens. The good thing is it is free, so I have nothing to loose at any rate. :happy:


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## succubus_dxb (Jul 19, 2009)

I met my boyfriend on OasisActive (Not sure if it's only Aussie or what) - we just hit it off. I was honest about my size, and I kinda...mentioned it in conversations before we met. It hasn't been an issue, and he's attracted to me- so I don't really feel like I should keep bringing it up. lol.

The hardest part is admitting to my friends where I met him  haha


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## suebeehoney (Jul 19, 2009)

duplicate post deleted - sorry!


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## suebeehoney (Jul 19, 2009)

I've tried Yahoo Personals, Cupid.com, and LargeFriends.com. Not much luck on any of them, and I've reviewed listings on other sites as well. (And it must be said that I didn't have my profile on all of the sites at the same time - I've tried each one separately over a number of years.)

The main problem I have with sites like LargeFriends.com is that they don't let you do much of anything in the way of contact (other than 1 "wink" per month per person) unless you pay for it. And almost all the profiles I viewed on that site are not paying members - so to contact them by e-mail or anything other than a wink, I have to pay for it. And it's like $30 a month! 

Recently had a guy contact me via wink on LargeFriends.com, but of course, neither of us are members, so it's not going anywhere until one of us pays. 

The one time I DID meet up with someone from the internet on a date, it was a nightmare. (See my thread about worst first dates...)
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=61640&highlight=worst+date

So, back to square one.


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## NJz_BBW4Some1 (Aug 11, 2009)

suebeehoney said:


> The main problem I have with sites like LargeFriends.com is that they don't let you do much of anything in the way of contact (other than 1 "wink" per month per person) unless you pay for it. And almost all the profiles I viewed on that site are not paying members - so to contact them by e-mail or anything other than a wink, I have to pay for it. And it's like $30 a month!
> 
> Recently had a guy contact me via wink on LargeFriends.com, but of course, neither of us are members, so it's not going anywhere until one of us pays.



Yea, I agree with you on those BBW personals sites. If you want to interact with someone, you have to pay. I'm on BBWPersonalsplus.com and have gotten several emails, but I can't even read them!! What I did is _subtly_ add my Yahoo screenname into my profile. Some guys have gotten the "hint". Nevertheless, it sucks that there aren't any [free] personals sites specifically for BBWs.


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## LovelyLiz (Aug 23, 2009)

I agree with a lot of what everyone is saying -- about the pros and cons of all the various dating sites. I've tried out pretty much all of them at some point or another, and it's always lots and lots of frogs to slog through until coming upon a prince (though, I have yet to come upon a prince on a dating site!). 

In terms of actually finding guys to go out with, I haven't really met many guys from any of the dating sites, bbw specific or not, even though I've paid for several of them over the years. But I have met several guys just from going into a yahoo chat room for my area, and striking up random conversations and seeing if anyone is interested in really getting to know someone, and not just casual sex. Sometimes when they see my picture they just stop talking to me, and sometimes they find me attractive; and sometimes they say something mean/negative about big girls, and sometimes not. 

I actually had my profile hidden on plentyoffish for a while, but when I read this thread yesterday and saw that several people had found love with it, I made my profile visible again. I awoke today to find a message from a user telling me that I was disgusting and needed to "loose" weight (his spelling was terrible in the whole message) and how no one would ever love me and I would never be healthy enough to raise a family. Not a great way to start the morning... 

So, while I actually end up finding more guys to meet up w/ who have more things in common when I am on non-bbw specific sites or chatrooms, there are times I have to put up with discouraging garbage like the random email from that jerk stranger. I guess that's one perk of being in a bbw room or site...not having to put up with that stuff.


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## enxtc (Aug 25, 2009)

I have a profile on I think all of the bbw dating sites, and haven't had much luck with them. But, I am on tagged, and have had a few dates, I haven't met Mr. Right yet, but, that is where I have had the best luck.


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## dynomite_gurl (Aug 27, 2009)

Well I just wanted to share my experience with BBW dating sites. I was on bbpeoplemeet, bbwdatefinder, and a few others. I found some really nice guys who were actually up for getting to know you and not always focused on the size. In the end I found my boyfriend on bbpeoplemeet. He is from Ireland and it is a LDR atm, but we are making things work and planning to be together soon. Yes, sometimes you find men that are not close to you, but as I see...if you make a connection with someone, and end up falling in love, then the rest is up to how far you're willing to go to make it work. Not that it will be easy...trust me... but it depends on how far you are willing to go for someone you love.


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## MIgirl2008 (Aug 28, 2009)

I just wanted to say I totally relate to your experience, I have found so many guys on there to be outwardly A-hole-ish. Especially when I wasn't initiating anything with them. I want to punch that guy in the face who said that to you, lol. That is unbelievable.



womanforconversation said:


> I agree with a lot of what everyone is saying -- about the pros and cons of all the various dating sites. I've tried out pretty much all of them at some point or another, and it's always lots and lots of frogs to slog through until coming upon a prince (though, I have yet to come upon a prince on a dating site!).
> 
> In terms of actually finding guys to go out with, I haven't really met many guys from any of the dating sites, bbw specific or not, even though I've paid for several of them over the years. But I have met several guys just from going into a yahoo chat room for my area, and striking up random conversations and seeing if anyone is interested in really getting to know someone, and not just casual sex. Sometimes when they see my picture they just stop talking to me, and sometimes they find me attractive; and sometimes they say something mean/negative about big girls, and sometimes not.
> 
> ...


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## LovelyLiz (Aug 28, 2009)

MIgirl2008 said:


> I just wanted to say I totally relate to your experience, I have found so many guys on there to be outwardly A-hole-ish. Especially when I wasn't initiating anything with them. I want to punch that guy in the face who said that to you, lol. That is unbelievable.



I know, right? Thanks for saying that! Have you been on any sites where the guys are not "outwardly A-hole-ish"?

I'm pretty much at the point, I think, where I might just forgo internet dating altogether. At least for a while.


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## Vespertine (Sep 3, 2009)

Wow, womanforconversation, what a horrible experience.

My forays into online dating have been fruitless, but at least not terribly traumatic. 

Plenyoffish, not many guys contacted me, and those who did were not interesting. 'Wat up huni' is not an acceptable first message.
Craigslist, home of creeps and flakes. Though I do know people who met through it.
BBWChatzone, have chatted with a couple of guys I liked, but never went real-world sadly. There's a pall of negativity about the place too.
eHarmony and chemistry.com, too expensive and not enough interest

I've put profiles up on various dedicated bbw dating sites over the years, and I don't think there is any one of them with enough traffic to actually have justified the effort. I wish there was /one/ definitive BBW dating site. Someone tell me if I've missed a good one!

I got the most interest on OkCupid, with the most interesting guys. I kind of dig the format on there too. I am upfront about my size and have enough pics up so people don't get confused. No real luck there, but I'm vaguely optimistic still.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 3, 2009)

Vespertine said:


> Wow, womanforconversation, what a horrible experience.
> 
> My forays into online dating have been fruitless, but at least not terribly traumatic.
> 
> ...



Did you meet a lot of locals on OkCupid?


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## Vespertine (Sep 4, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Did you meet a lot of locals on OkCupid?



Yes! Pretty much only locals. Though I do live in LA and there is a large local population to draw on.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 4, 2009)

Vespertine said:


> Yes! Pretty much only locals. Though I do live in LA and there is a large local population to draw on.



Thanks....and you make a good point about location. I tend to not be the "cup of tea" for the local mentality around here often times. And....I hate the mentality so living in this area and finding a good match, aside from all the usual problems matching has, is hard. 

I wonder how many closet or married guys are on those sites? What kind of ratio?

Any have any opinions/ideas about that?


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## Vespertine (Sep 5, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Thanks....and you make a good point about location. I tend to not be the "cup of tea" for the local mentality around here often times. And....I hate the mentality so living in this area and finding a good match, aside from all the usual problems matching has, is hard.



That is really tough. I've mostly lived in or around major cities, and i think sometimes numbers helps. In LA county there are 11 million people! So there has to be someone worth dating, by god.



> I wonder how many closet or married guys are on those sites? What kind of ratio?
> 
> Any have any opinions/ideas about that?



I think the closet factor is big. On okcupid there are only about 40 men on the entire site who come up with keyword search 'bbw' (not including the 'no bbw' douches). But a lot of guys contact me, so they're either closet or versatile (lol), or something. I made it clear I wasn't looking for casual sex/dating, too, and the boys seem to be trying to know me. Well, I /am/ impressed with that, cos with bbw-dedicated things, it seems to get dirty real quick with most fellas.

I'd always be wary of married/committed guys, you can't really tell until you know them well. And it is the internets, people lie.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 5, 2009)

Vespertine said:


> T
> 
> I think the closet factor is big. On okcupid there are only about 40 men on the entire site who come up with keyword search 'bbw' (not including the 'no bbw' douches). * But a lot of guys contact me*, so they're either closet or versatile (lol), or something. I made it clear I wasn't looking for casual sex/dating, too, and the boys seem to be trying to know me. Well, I /am/ impressed with that, cos with bbw-dedicated things, it seems to get dirty real quick with most fellas.
> 
> I'd always be wary of married/committed guys, you can't really tell until you know them well. And it is the internets, people lie.



Yes...I have found that letting them come to me instead of vice versa seems to work best because you just have no clue on "mixed" sites who is into what. 

Also, yes, you have to be careful on the net....but that hasn't changed much from meeting in reality, methinks.


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## LovelyLiz (Sep 5, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Yes...I have found that letting them come to me instead of vice versa seems to work best because you just have no clue on "mixed" sites who is into what.



Unless they say something specifically *against* being with a bbw, I'm all for contacting them too - especially if it seems like we have something in common. Not that it works all the time (or even much of the time), but it's worth a shot.


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## mossystate (Sep 5, 2009)

I have an ad of sorts on one of those sites. Had not checked it in months. I go there last night...all ' winks '. 18 people winked at me. The ones who were not 24 years old...no picture. Wtf. When I have to seriously hunker down and find me a man....I am NOT going to be a happy camper. Going to have to be something I find when I am just out and about. I want to order a man....who is inexpensive, but of high quality. Not too much to ask...right?


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 5, 2009)

womanforconversation said:


> Unless they say something specifically *against* being with a bbw, I'm all for contacting them too - especially if it seems like we have something in common. Not that it works all the time (or even much of the time), but it's worth a shot.



Actually I did contact one the other day. We had a nice conversation last night...(read he didn't immediately ask me for 800 more pics aside from the 7 I have posted on the site already, didn't ask if I had a cam, used good manners, talked about himself and his interests, is local, and seems like he is a patient man that doesn't IMMEDIATELY want to extract some promise of sex out of me when we just met), we seem to have a lot of common interests and he is messaging me again today. So yeah, that works, too, sometimes


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 5, 2009)

mossystate said:


> I have an ad of sorts on one of those sites. Had not checked it in months. I go there last night...all ' winks '. 18 people winked at me. The ones who were not 24 years old...no picture. Wtf. When I have to seriously hunker down and find me a man....I am NOT going to be a happy camper. Going to have to be something I find when I am just out and about. I want to order a man....who is inexpensive, but of high quality. Not too much to ask...right?




On that BBW site where they do winks, I get a lot of winks from guys from tooooo far away like Cali, Canada, Washington state, etc. I just quickly say "Thanks but the distance is too great for me" because those guys are most likely just start harrassing for nude pics or cam sessions. F*ck 'em- let them pay to get off...it's not my problem 
Oh yeah, and those guys with no pictures....that's NEVER a good sign to me. And I suspect some don't post pics of themselves because they don't want their wives/girlfriends to know they are on there.......or they don't want people to see they do fatties....
I don't need a date badly enough to deal with those kinds of guys....


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## Vespertine (Sep 5, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Also, yes, you have to be careful on the net....but that hasn't changed much from meeting in reality, methinks.



Truth. I think it takes a little more energy to lie in person, plus there's all the body language/vibe stuff to go on you don't get online. 



womanforconversation said:


> Unless they say something specifically *against* being with a bbw, I'm all for contacting them too - especially if it seems like we have something in common. Not that it works all the time (or even much of the time), but it's worth a shot.



Also true. I think a lot of guys are open minded. I should do it more often.



mossystate said:


> When I have to seriously hunker down and find me a man....I am NOT going to be a happy camper. Going to have to be something I find when I am just out and about. I want to order a man....who is inexpensive, but of high quality. Not too much to ask...right?



I say not too much to ask! I can order everything else online, why not a guy built to my specs?  

Out and about works, it is probably the best, along with you know *exasperation* getting involved with groups and hobbies you like, blah blah. Lol. 



Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Actually I did contact one the other day. We had a nice conversation last night...(read he didn't immediately ask me for 800 more pics aside from the 7 I have posted on the site already, didn't ask if I had a cam, used good manners, talked about himself and his interests, is local, and seems like he is a patient man that doesn't IMMEDIATELY want to extract some promise of sex out of me when we just met), we seem to have a lot of common interests and he is messaging me again today. So yeah, that works, too, sometimes



YAY! I hope it goes well! Was this on okcupid?


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 5, 2009)

Vespertine said:


> YAY! I hope it goes well! Was this on okcupid?



No, I met him on Plenty of Fish- free  

He doesn't live too far away either.


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## katherine22 (Sep 7, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> No, I met him on Plenty of Fish- free
> 
> He doesn't live too far away either.



GEF did you describe yourself on plenty of fish as a BBW?


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 7, 2009)

katherine22 said:


> GEF did you describe yourself on plenty of fish as a BBW?




Yes, that was my head line for quite awhile. "Witty, Confident BBW" or something like that. A few months ago, some guy messaged to ask what BBW meant. This lead into him saying that he preferred women that are not thin yet feels like bigger people should still be trying to lose weight, work out, etc. I pointed out his hypocrisy, he said I was being defensive, I told him he was being an asshole (eventually) after he kept messaging me when I flat out told him to leave me alone. I wound up blocking him so he cannot contact me anymore. 
I kept the BBW head line until recently because I thought that being a fat woman isn't really the most important thing about me. I don't really want a guy that prefers women that must weigh XYZ and thinks it's okay to message me about how much I weigh, have more pictures, "I luvs me some big girls" type of shit. .
I have as many pictures allowed of myself up on my profile and describe myself as not thin in the option box. I don't pretend to be thin and if a man NEEDS thin then he can quickly ascertain to move on with just a look at my profile. 
They can ask me more about myself if interested because I have grown weary of putting so much of myself out there, having a man "choose me" and then not even giving me the time to decide if I choose him back. 
I'm going slower now......patience being key to finding what it is that *I* want.


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## katherine22 (Sep 7, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Yes, that was my head line for quite awhile. "Witty, Confident BBW" or something like that. A few months ago, some guy messaged to ask what BBW meant. This lead into him saying that he preferred women that are not thin yet feels like bigger people should still be trying to lose weight, work out, etc. I pointed out his hypocrisy, he said I was being defensive, I told him he was being an asshole (eventually) after he kept messaging me when I flat out told him to leave me alone. I wound up blocking him so he cannot contact me anymore.
> I kept the BBW head line until recently because I thought that being a fat woman isn't really the most important thing about me. I don't really want a guy that prefers women that must weigh XYZ and thinks it's okay to message me about how much I weigh, have more pictures, "I luvs me some big girls" type of shit. .
> I have as many pictures allowed of myself up on my profile and describe myself as not thin in the option box. I don't pretend to be thin and if a man NEEDS thin then he can quickly ascertain to move on with just a look at my profile.
> They can ask me more about myself if interested because I have grown weary of putting so much of myself out there, having a man "choose me" and then not even giving me the time to decide if I choose him back.
> I'm going slower now......patience being key to finding what it is that *I* want.



I have made some nice friends on BBW website; however, they all live far away.


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