# to all the sexy bhm



## StarMoon (Apr 16, 2009)

Any (bbw ffa's) here?


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## Weeze (Apr 16, 2009)

lol

Do I have to throw my gang signs again?

It actually just occurred to me today that I have not posted under these boards in a while. 

Sorry kids.


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## Catkin (Apr 16, 2009)

krismiss said:


> lol
> 
> Do I have to throw my gang signs again?



We have gang signs? Awesome!


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## Surlysomething (Apr 17, 2009)

present :bow:


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## the hanging belly (Apr 17, 2009)

right here


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## cute_obese_girl (Apr 17, 2009)

I'm here


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## Celestial Ceece (Apr 17, 2009)

Okay so I find the timing of this thread quite interesting, though I'm wondering how come there aren't more folks who answered/responded. The reason I find the timing of this thread so interesting is because a few days ago, a friend and I (he's a BHM, and I'm obviously SSBBW) were chatting on yahoo. I don't know how it came up, but I wanted to let him know, truthfully, that there are women who are BBW's or SSBBW's who just aren't into fat dudes. I wasn't trying to be mean of course, but I wanted him to realize that I have heard from several people who shall remain unnamed, that they don't like fat men. 

I know that might sound hypocritical but as we have all learned from this board, and real life, people have their own preferences. You can't force any BBW to be into a BHM or vice versa. You can't force anything, really.

But I was just wondering, what are people's thoughts on this. Have you found that the majority of BBW's (here or elsewhere) are NOT into big men? I did notice that there are so few responses to this thread, that it isn't just a coincidence. 

If you're a fat chick who doesn't find herself attracted to fat dudes, why is that? Are you going to have the confidence to speak up in the first place? And if so (or not), do people here believe that this is just a preference thing, does it have to do with a fat woman not liking herself, or what are the issues behind this deal? 

I thought for sure I was going to come in here and find this discussion already taking place. And I was going to start a thread on it too, but this seems like the appropriate thread to bring up the issue.


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## Cors (Apr 17, 2009)

Well, many BBWs have said that they are bi-sizual but they usually don't post on the BHM/FFA board. I guess the OP might get a more enthusiastic response if he posts on the main boards.


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## LillyBBBW (Apr 17, 2009)

*flashes her gang sign*


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## Denial (Apr 17, 2009)

One BBW here, in need of a big teddy bear... :wubu:


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## StarMoon (Apr 17, 2009)

Celestial Ceece said:


> Okay so I find the timing of this thread quite interesting, though I'm wondering how come there aren't more folks who answered/responded. The reason I find the timing of this thread so interesting is because a few days ago, a friend and I (he's a BHM, and I'm obviously SSBBW) were chatting on yahoo. I don't know how it came up, but I wanted to let him know, truthfully, that there are women who are BBW's or SSBBW's who just aren't into fat dudes. I wasn't trying to be mean of course, but I wanted him to realize that I have heard from several people who shall remain unnamed, that they don't like fat men.
> 
> I know that might sound hypocritical but as we have all learned from this board, and real life, people have their own preferences. You can't force any BBW to be into a BHM or vice versa. You can't force anything, really.
> 
> ...



In my world that seems to be the case, one reasons I made this thread to see if dimensions would prove me wrong. While I have read many reasons to why bbw's go for thinner/more athletics but I will not speculate why especially here. We must remember preferences like all things humans doesn't necessarily make sense.

...One thing......please don't make this a thin guy/bbw versus bhm thread, those tend to be very nasty......


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## Make_Lunch_Not_War (Apr 17, 2009)

Cors said:


> Well, many BBWs have said that they are bi-sizual...



I have heard the word "bi-weightle" used before but bi-sizual is a new one.


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## StarMoon (Apr 20, 2009)

That's it?


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## LillyBBBW (Apr 20, 2009)

StarMoon said:


> That's it?



Yes, that's it. Most people have no prefference one way or the other so very few will label themselves as ffa.


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## StarMoon (Apr 20, 2009)

fair enough


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## Celestial Ceece (Apr 20, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> Yes, that's it. Most people have no prefference one way or the other so very few will label themselves as ffa.




I think you're right - there are a lot of us who like people of all sizes and types, so instead of putting another label on ourselves, we just say we're "who we are". I like the label SSBBW though, because I feel it is empowering and easier than saying, "I'm an amazon who weighs __X__ pounds". 

But seriously, I'd like to see more people add themselves to this roll-call. By the way, I've never considered myself to be exclusively FFA, bisizual, or biweightal. I like what I like and that's that!


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## swike77 (Apr 20, 2009)

Celestial Ceece said:


> .
> 
> But I was just wondering, what are people's thoughts on this. Have you found that the majority of BBW's (here or elsewhere) are NOT into big men? I did notice that there are so few responses to this thread, that it isn't just a coincidence.



I find the majority of women full-stop are not into big men. 

Even though I have lost some weight (due to lifestyle changes related to diabetes), I find most women physically recoil if I approach them. 

I am not a mutant, I dress ok and I smell nice, but it still isn't enough. It's not just the dating world either. When I need to go shopping, most female cashiers are stony faced and avoid my gaze when I shop, then brazenly smile and make eye contact with the next slender/attractive customer. I guess the normals don't realise how degrading this feels, or just think we're too dumb to notice. 

My social confidence is really shot. There's literally no-one around here willing to give me a chance. I really don't see myself ever being close to anyone again because I can't even get eye contact out of a stranger, let alone get close enough to connect with anyone.

It's clear to me that social prejudices inform the majority of women's body type preferences. However, I am sure there are a few slender women and BBWs who have a strong preference for slim men and who don't have those negative feelings towards fat men, but in my experience they seem to be a minority.


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## Catkin (Apr 20, 2009)

swike77 said:


> It's clear to me that social prejudices inform the majority of women's body type preferences. However, I am sure there are a few slender women and BBWs who have a strong preference for slim men and who don't have those negative feelings towards fat men, but in my experience they seem to be a minority.



I just wanted to comment on this part particularly...

I'm sorry you've had bad experiences, but I've never seen that, or heard of it. I am a girl, I have female friends, and very very few of these women have definite preferences for their guys. I am one of the exceptions, liking BHM almost exclusively, and I know one other person who has a definite "type" (very thin and wirey), but apart from that my friends like a very broad range of men. I know of one girl who's going out with a smallish BHM, and another who's guy has put on a bit of weight, and neither of them seem to mind. They still love their guys, and don't even bring up their weight, ever. They're still the same person and they still love them.

I have never seen any of my friends recoil over big guys. They're just guys; they might fancy some, others, not so much. 

Also, is there a chance that by believing that you're being judged like that, and having little confidence (as you said) that you're putting people off without even realising it? Low confidence in a person is usually pretty obvious, and it puts me off right away. A guy that I might have found gorgeous is suddenly turned into someone far less attractive.

Yeah, longish post sorry  basically: most girls (the ones that I know anyway) are willing to give a huuuuuuge range of guys a chance.

EDIT: I should read more thoroughly. Lilly put it better than me about people not labelling themselves FFAs about 4 posts up


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## StarMoon (Apr 20, 2009)

One thing I do know there are way more fa's than ffa's

To the above I wouldn't so quickly dismiss with his post, on some level I feel him, I defiantly do especially the part on confidence... I will expand later (time for dream time though)


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## swike77 (Apr 20, 2009)

Catkin said:


> I just wanted to comment on this part particularly...
> 
> I'm sorry you've had bad experiences, but I've never seen that, or heard of it. I am a girl, I have female friends, and very very few of these women have definite preferences for their guys.



You obviously belong to an extremely nice group of frends. If you're non-judgemental it's likely you'll have attracted likeminded people. It's commendable; really it is. I'm not even beginnng to infer you live in a bubble, because I don't know you, but there does seem to be a trend towards outright rudeness to fat people where I live. There is a reality to fat prejudice, especially on the dating scene. Browse any dating site and half the profiles are appended with comments like 'no bloaters', or 'no fatties or mingers.' Sorry, but I find the very idea that most people don't have an entrenched fat prejudice highly dubious.



Catkin said:


> I am one of the exceptions, liking BHM almost exclusively, and I know one other person who has a definite "type" (very thin and wirey), but apart from that my friends like a very broad range of men. I know of one girl who's going out with a smallish BHM, and another who's guy has put on a bit of weight, and neither of them seem to mind. They still love their guys, and don't even bring up their weight, ever. They're still the same person and they still love them.



That's great for them, but you're talking about a 'smallish' BHM i.e. someone who is less likely to be judged because he's closer to percieved normality. The rule of thumb being: the larger you are the bigger the sniggers, the more hurtful the comments etc. As for the other guy, the thrust of what I'm talking about is first impressions. He caught his fish before getting bigger. Once peple have fallen in love they tend to accept ageing and fluctuations in weight etc. 



Catkin said:


> I have never seen any of my friends recoil over big guys. They're just guys; they might fancy some, others, not so much.



I have...sigh, and it's not just me. Maybe it's a southern thing, but you don't stand much of a chance here if you're fat.



Catkin said:


> Also, is there a chance that by believing that you're being judged like that, and having little confidence (as you said) that you're putting people off without even realising it? Low confidence in a person is usually pretty obvious, and it puts me off right away. A guy that I might have found gorgeous is suddenly turned into someone far less attractive.



I think this might be correct in some instances. My honest opinion is that my confidence has gradually taken more knocks the fatter I've gotten. I've gone into many a potential situation with total self-belief in the past - in exactly the same way I did when I was slender - and been consistently shot down with laughter, abuse, uncomfortable looks of disgust/frowns etc. I barely try now... after years of being knocked back and ridiculed I don't have the heart left to make the effort. I do still smile and have a pleasant demeanor with people. I'm not effusive, I don't overstep any boundaries or say anything quirky or corny either, but it seems to count for nothing. There's also been times where I've been abused or ridiculed without interacting with anyone; just going about my business. 

I think I've done ok to keep trying as long as I have done. My self-perception hasn't changed - I still think I am a good bloke with something to offer someone, but I think that someone is probably going to have to come to me. I'm kind of praying for a miracle really.



Catkin said:


> Yeah, longish post sorry  basically: most girls (the ones that I know anyway) are willing to give a huuuuuuge range of guys a chance.
> 
> EDIT: I should read more thoroughly. Lilly put it better than me about people not labelling themselves FFAs about 4 posts up



No, I think you did a good job with that post, made me think anyway. I just wish the people where I live were as open minded and accepting as you and your mates.


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## StarMoon (Apr 20, 2009)

I live in the south too swike77, it really maybe a southern thing 0_o


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## Bountiful1966 (Apr 21, 2009)

I am def a FFA and i just love a big soft teddy bear


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## viracocha (Apr 21, 2009)

[INSERT GANG AND NINJA SIGNS]

I suppose I'm more bbw than not, and definitely more ffa than not... There have been a few issues and posts that are very pertinent to fat dating and vice versa. I'm basically just skimming off of a previous post and trying to respond to some good points that swike made.



swike77 said:


> There is a reality to fat prejudice, especially on the dating scene. Browse any dating site and half the profiles are appended with comments like 'no bloaters', or 'no fatties or mingers.' Sorry, but I find the very idea that most people don't have an entrenched fat prejudice highly dubious.


While I sadly agree that there are distinct fat prejudices, they tend to overlap with both a person's inability to handle themselves in situations in which the person of their prejudice is in front of them and that the person to whom the uncertainty is directed lets it slide. Of course, I'm not positing that we retaliate against prejudiced people by their own tactics, like declaring an anti-idiot or willful impotence zone. I'd like them to understand that of all things to judge someone on, something as fluid weight is not useful.




swike77 said:


> That's great for them, but you're talking about a 'smallish' BHM i.e. someone who is less likely to be judged because he's closer to percieved normality. The rule of thumb being: the larger you are the bigger the sniggers, the more hurtful the comments etc. As for the other guy, the thrust of what I'm talking about is first impressions. He caught his fish before getting bigger. Once peple have fallen in love they tend to accept ageing and fluctuations in weight etc.


I don't entirely buy the "once they're hooked, you got 'em" deal: I've had people more inclined to feel involved or responsible for physical changes once things become intimate. I understand that intimacy prevents them from leaving so readily, but it also puts them in a place to create or manipulate vulnerability. 




swike77 said:


> I think this might be correct in some instances. My honest opinion is that my confidence has gradually taken more knocks the fatter I've gotten. I've gone into many a potential situation with total self-belief in the past - in exactly the same way I did when I was slender - and been consistently shot down with laughter, abuse, uncomfortable looks of disgust/frowns etc. I barely try now... after years of being knocked back and ridiculed I don't have the heart left to make the effort. I do still smile and have a pleasant demeanor with people. I'm not effusive, I don't overstep any boundaries or say anything quirky or corny either, but it seems to count for nothing. There's also been times where I've been abused or ridiculed without interacting with anyone; just going about my business.


I wish I had something novel to contribute to this part. I don't think you've been meeting and interacting with the right people-- rest assured that you'd be more than welcome with my friends and me plus pretty much everyone here. However, I attribute much of these described behaviors to people not being socially nimble enough to react appropriately and fairly. 




swike77 said:


> I think I've done ok to keep trying as long as I have done. My self-perception hasn't changed - I still think I am a good bloke with something to offer someone, but I think that someone is probably going to have to come to me. I'm kind of praying for a miracle really.


I'm glad you're self-perception hasn't been ruined. As long as you can appreciate yourself and let your kindness show, I'm sure someone will come along. I don't know if you'll need a miracle, maybe just an another look around.


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## Tracy (Apr 21, 2009)

One BBW right here! I love big ole bellies! :wubu: YUMMY


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## stardust77722 (Apr 21, 2009)

iam a bbw ffa


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## escapist (Apr 21, 2009)

I've dated a LOT of BBW's who were into me & my size. Granted much of it was before I was even aware of what an FFA was. Often the comments and feelings were:

I make them feel tiny.
I make them feel protected
I'm a giant snuglly sexy teddy bear
After a while I got hooked on BBW's myself. Most the ones I was with were very playful and touchy feelly like me and it was a lot of fun. I can say without a doubt they do exist. Heck I'm dating one now even.


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## Celestial Ceece (Apr 21, 2009)

*bump*

I love fat people, I love thin people, I love all kinds of people as I've said in a previous response to this thread. 

I want to hear more people speak up on this thread, particularly the BHM's who have had experience with this, be it negative or positive. Thank you to those who have spoken up! 

This discussion reminds me of a similar discussion, on the hierarchies that exist in subcultures such as ours. For example, I am SSBBW and while it seems like we are revered here, in real life, and I'm talking in size and fat positive environments, I have seen fat people fight over the lone FA in the room who is "mainstream attractive". Also, at NOLOSE, a fat and queer positive event, I experienced the same thing. Supersized people were sitting on the sidelines (literally) and I watched as people pratically threw themselves at the few people who were thin, athletic, what have you. I saw it with my own eyes. It had nothing to do with the confidence I was or wasn't projecting. Actually, at times, I have been the boldest person in the room, and while I had plenty of flirty moments, when it came down to the nitty gritty, if a person had the opportunity to "hook up" with someone smaller and "more attractive" according to the mainstream, I was tossed aside. 

Granted, as I've said before, I do not knock anyone for their personal preferences, but it hurts to be on the receiving end of rejection. Period!


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## chicken legs (Apr 26, 2009)

***comes out the woodwork***


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 26, 2009)

escapist said:


> I've dated a LOT of BBW's who were into me & my size. Granted much of it was before I was even aware of what an FFA was. Often the comments and feelings were:
> 
> I make them feel tiny.
> I make them feel protected
> ...



You're also cool and good looking....I'm sure that helps as much...or more...as your size


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## Actor4hire (Apr 26, 2009)

As a guy who use to be a ssbhm (385) back in the days to a guy who is just a big guy now (6" 285), I have to say that I agree with the post in regards to fat guys not getting much love. 

I have and always will be a guy with a lot of confidence, a good sense of humor (so ive been told) and a large group of friends. But when it comes to women (back in my dating days) very few if any would give me a look when I was really big. 

I have always thought it was funny when I would see posts where fat women would be like "Sorry, I just don't date fat guys." "Im not attracted to fat guys" Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!! 

I know I will get smoked for saying this, but when men are horny, they don't care most the time if the girl is fat, thin or in between. The fact is, most guys I know who are not FA's have had sex with a "fat girl" just to get their rocks off. 

So for a fat women, the prospects of sexual relations are very high in comparison to a fat guy. How many girls go to the club with that "I just need to get screwed tonight" mentality?? Not many. But most guys do go to the club thinking that. 

I do know that over the years of being in different BBW chat rooms, blogs, etc, there is one thing I always hear from the BBW's in the room when dating is concerned "Not interested in a one night stand" "I dont do cam to cam" etc., all of which leaves me to believe that a lot of the guys (not including for the most part this board) are looking to quench a fetish, rather than get to know and love a person of size. 

Us big guys for the most part dont even get as far to say "Not interested in a one night stand" I would even go as far as to speak for most of the fat guys hear that we would GLADLY take a one night stand!!! 

The truth of the matter is, the only person who knows what it's like to be fat in society is another fat person. To have to worry about fitting in a roller coaster, to hope that the 5 yearold kid who is walking with their parent isnt going to say "That person is fat" out loud in the middle of the grocery store, for an elderly person to make it a point to stop you and say "You are going to die if you don't lost weight". 

I don't have to deal with most of these issues anymore. I dropped 100 pounds 15 years ago. But I did have to deal with this when I was younger & I am sure most of the BBW & BHM have had to deal with at least one of the issues I have mentioned. 

So why wouldn't a BBW or SSBBW want to be with a person who knows EXACTLY what it is that they deal with on a daily basis?? Thru shared experience, there is some form of safety I would like to think. If more BBW's would give BHM a chance, I think they would see the same things they want other to see about themselves. That there is a lot more to the BHM than just the size of their body... 

(Stepping down from the soap box)


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## escapist (Apr 26, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> You're also cool and good looking....I'm sure that helps as much...or more...as your size


:happy: I tried to rep but, I can't yet. Your probably right but I like to pretend its just cause I'm cool and looks have nothing to do with it 




chicken legs said:


> ***comes out the woodwork***


Grrrrrr there's my girl now :wubu:


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## stillblessed23 (Apr 27, 2009)

I for one love bhm I have just the opposite problem actually I can't seem to find a bhm that I have good chemistry with. I do love the Teddy Bears though!


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## StarMoon (Apr 27, 2009)

Actor4hire said:


> * I have always thought it was funny when I would see posts where fat women would be like "Sorry, I just don't date fat guys." "Im not attracted to fat guys" Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!! *



I to always find that always amusing


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## Carrie (Apr 27, 2009)

StarMoon said:


> I to always find that always amusing


You can't help who you're attracted to. No one in this community seems to think it's unreasonable for a thin FA/FFA to *not* be attracted to another thin person, so why is it unreasonable for a fat person to not be attracted to another fat person? I sense a real double standard here.


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## undrcovrbrothr (Apr 27, 2009)

Carrie said:


> You can't help who you're attracted to. No one in this community seems to think it's unreasonable for a thin FA/FFA to *not* be attracted to another thin person, so why is it unreasonable for a fat person to not be attracted to another fat person? I sense a real double standard here.



OK then, what does "FA" mean is my first question. My second question would be why if this board was about fat acceptance/admirers then would you come and say you were only attracted to thin or athletic X or Y?? Is this not called Dimensions for the obvious reasons, of an understanding that DIMENSIONS are beautiful and not so abnormal? Therefore, by this analysis, I would conclude that if you want to start your own FTA (Fat Thin Admirer) board or an FMA (Fat Muscular Admirer) board, then go right ahead, but don't try and convince me that it belongs here. I'd say this is a place to celebrate FAs, FFAs, BHMs, and BBW/SSBBW's, not FTAs or FMAs per se... Just my .02  

PS I love a great debate... this should be most entertaining


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## Fyreflyintheskye (Apr 27, 2009)

undrcovrbrothr said:


> OK then, what does "FA" mean is my first question. My second question would be why if this board was about fat acceptance/admirers then would you come and say you were only attracted to thin or athletic X or Y?? Is this not called Dimensions for the obvious reasons, of an understanding that DIMENSIONS are beautiful and not so abnormal? Therefore, by this analysis, I would conclude that if you want to start your own FTA (Fat Thin Admirer) board or an FMA (Fat Muscular Admirer) board, then go right ahead, but don't try and convince me that it belongs here. I'd say this is a place to celebrate FAs, FFAs, BHMs, and BBW/SSBBW's, not FTAs or FMAs per se... Just my .02
> 
> PS I love a great debate... this should be most entertaining



it smells really defensive in here. Carrie, maybe we should crack a window  I think whining makes someone highly unattractive, regardless of physical appearance


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## Tad (Apr 27, 2009)

Actually *this* board is about BHM (fat guys) and female fat admirers (women who are attracted to fat guys), although none of the Dimensions boards have ever been all that exclusive, so long as you are friendly to the topic at hand.

About your broader point, Dimensions has always accepted that not all fat people prefer fat partners. There has never been any objections to that point, and I don't think you are going to be able to change it now. So yes, it is perfectly fine for fat folk to talk about thin folk that they are attracted to, although they should try to do it in the right board (a BBW talking about the thin guys she adores on this board is probably in the wrong place, although conversation can take odd turns). And because conversations are interesting when they are inclusive, sometime there are even thin people talking about their thin crushes, and that is cool so long as they are being respectful of the other posters on the boards.


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## LillyBBBW (Apr 27, 2009)

undrcovrbrothr said:


> OK then, what does "FA" mean is my first question. My second question would be why if this board was about fat acceptance/admirers then would you come and say you were only attracted to thin or athletic X or Y?? Is this not called Dimensions for the obvious reasons, of an understanding that DIMENSIONS are beautiful and not so abnormal? Therefore, by this analysis, I would conclude that if you want to start your own FTA (Fat Thin Admirer) board or an FMA (Fat Muscular Admirer) board, then go right ahead, but don't try and convince me that it belongs here. I'd say this is a place to celebrate FAs, FFAs, BHMs, and BBW/SSBBW's, not FTAs or FMAs per se... Just my .02
> 
> PS I love a great debate... this should be most entertaining



The person who created this site is thin. A man, often depicted in a wetsuit. A wetsuit wearin' German speaking thin man who prefers fat women and is in fact married to one. I am not certian it was his intent in the founding of this site to prevent his own wife from participating here due to her poor choice of spouse.


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## Actor4hire (Apr 27, 2009)

I never intended for what I wrote to start a brewhaha, but if that's where it goes, so be it. The only reason I wrote what I wrote is because somebody earlier in the post wanted to hear more from the BHM in regards to the lack of BBW FA's. So I wrote, what I wrote and I stand by it 100%. 

I think this board is a great place for people of size to feel safe and accepted. But there is a HUGE (No pun intended) double standard when it comes to BHM and BBW's on this board. 

It is ok for a large woman on this board to state that she does not find large men attractive. I would venture to say that the 70% of the women on this board probably fit into that group. But if a large guy were to write in a post that he doesn't find large women attractive, all hell would break loose! 

I also just don't get why there are so many large women who will only go for slim, athletic type of guys. Isn't the true meaning of this place is to be a place of size acceptance? A place where the inside is just as important if not more important than the outer appearance of ones body? 

To come out as a large woman and state that you have no interest in large guys due to the fact that they are FAT (there I said it) is doing a total dis-service to the board and to what everyone here is fighting for. 

What if there was no Dimensions?? What if there wasn't a place for large ladies to be idolized?? (Which is what this board basically is) Then what??? Would you just not be another fat lady who finds that they are outcasts in the dating pool???

Sadly, this is what a lot of fat men deal with. There is a small amount of women out there who are FA's, for that we are happy. But to see so many large women on this board be so against dating us due to our size (which we share in common mind you) makes no sense to me what so ever. 

As I stated in my first post, I am no longer a true BHM. I lost over 100 pounds over 15 years ago. If I were to bump into the women who are on this board, who say they don't date large guys, I doubt there would be to many that would think of me as to fat to date. 

But I do know what it's like to be over 380 pounds at one time. I do know what it's like to try and find somebody who loves you for who you are (which I have been fortunate enough to find) And I just think that if more large women would give big guys a chance, they may just find out that there is a whole lot more than what is on the outside. 

What's good for the goose is good for the gander... 

PEACE!


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## Teleute (Apr 27, 2009)

It sucks to feel like there's a double standard. I will respond more sensibly to your posts later today. For now, I just wanted to point out:



> due to the fact that they are FAT (there I said it)



I'm totally amused by the expectation that this will be a shocking statement here


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## Actor4hire (Apr 27, 2009)

Teleute said:


> It sucks to feel like there's a double standard. I will respond more sensibly to your posts later today. For now, I just wanted to point out:
> 
> 
> 
> I'm totally amused by the expectation that this will be a shocking statement here




People really don't call each other fat on the board. We may talk about our own fat our what it's like to be fat, but we dont for the most part (or at least I dont) call each other fat.


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## Jon Blaze (Apr 27, 2009)

Actor4hire said:


> I never intended for what I wrote to start a brewhaha, but if that's where it goes, so be it. The only reason I wrote what I wrote is because somebody earlier in the post wanted to hear more from the BHM in regards to the lack of BBW FA's. So I wrote, what I wrote and I stand by it 100%.
> 
> I think this board is a great place for people of size to feel safe and accepted. But there is a HUGE (No pun intended) double standard when it comes to BHM and BBW's on this board.
> 
> It is ok for a large woman on this board to state that she does not find large men attractive. I would venture to say that the 70% of the women on this board probably fit into that group. But if a large guy were to write in a post that he doesn't find large women attractive, all hell would break loose!



I think it lies in how you do it. You can say you don't find them attractive, but there's no reason to be non tactful about it. From what I've seen, the women that don't like larger men have almost always been tactful about it, and simply used the same comments that some FAs of all sizes have said about thin people: They can't help what they're attracted to. You can't force someone to be attracted to you, no matter how much you want them to be. 

If you're a dick about it: Expect to get shit on. If not, then you have every right to ramble.

And just like you may have with some thin women if you don't like them: They probably have experiences that didn't make them happy, which if you think you have no obligation to like thin women in the same token, you have no right to try to oppose that on another person.




Actor4hire said:


> I also just don't get why there are so many large women who will only go for slim, athletic type of guys. Isn't the true meaning of this place is to be a place of size acceptance? A place where the inside is just as important if not more important than the outer appearance of ones body?




First and foremost: Yes. This board covers a lot of things, including but not limited to: Size Acceptance. But the notion that size acceptance goes as far as dating is completely false. They are UNRELATED! I can wholeheartedly accept someone I don't find attractive. I can be friendly and respectful.

Turning someone down because you don't find them attractive is a whole lot different than yelling that statement at the top of your lungs, and not only doing that, but possibly believing that trait makes them "Unattractive" on other levels non physical.
*
It lies in how I treat them: Not in the fact that there's something that doesn't allow me to date them.* They're two completely different things (One is for dating [Fat Admiration], and one is for body acceptance and/or discrmination fighitng [Size Acceptance]), and while the board was founded on the the former, and the issues CAN cross each other (But they aren't the same thing) it's grown to encompass many things, but again: Don't confuse the two. And I'm not saying this because I'm a thin FA: *I'm saying this because I'm also an activist. Watch your words.* You aren't making any sense by using that term in that way.

Plus you just called all the women shallow too, when last time I checked, having a physical preference isn't the same thing as having that be the only thing you care about.

So I take it you like women of all sizes like I do right? No? *Then how come you're not shallow in the same token? 
*

"Dick move guys... Dick move." 




Actor4hire said:


> To come out as a large woman and state that you have no interest in large guys due to the fact that they are FAT (there I said it) is doing a total dis-service to the board and to what everyone here is fighting for.
> 
> What if there was no Dimensions?? What if there wasn't a place for large ladies to be idolized?? (Which is what this board basically is) Then what??? Would you just not be another fat lady who finds that they are outcasts in the dating pool???



No. If there wasn't a place for larger women to be idolized, then this would just be an underground thing, and it still kinda is. You sound as if society has made some far reaching improvement in this. 




Actor4hire said:


> Sadly, this is what a lot of fat men deal with. There is a small amount of women out there who are FA's, for that we are happy. But to see so many large women on this board be so against dating us due to our size (which we share in common mind you) makes no sense to me what so ever.
> 
> As I stated in my first post, I am no longer a true BHM. I lost over 100 pounds over 15 years ago. If I were to bump into the women who are on this board, who say they don't date large guys, I doubt there would be to many that would think of me as to fat to date.
> 
> ...



That makes no sense. You're trying to force them to be attracted to something, when you realize that you potentially have no control over what you're attracted to. Why don't you tell all the FAs that don't like thin women to just "Try a couple out?" even though some of them probably have already? I mean it's only sounds about the same... I mean it sounds exactly the same. :bow:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 27, 2009)

Bi-sizual BBW representing.....

I hail from North Carolina...if that has some deep meaning....



I like what I like....I don't apologize for any time spent with a chubby/fat man....and I got over apologizing for being a fat woman a long time ago. I still bang skinnies.....and don't give two shits if someone doesn't like it or not. Take me how I come.....


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## Actor4hire (Apr 27, 2009)

Well to come out and say anybody pulled a "dick move" is wrong all in itself. None of the guys who were pointing out the bias towards fat women on the board ever called out anybody in particular. You don't have to agree with what I or anybody else said, but to say "dick move" shows a lack of class... 

And I am just wondering, are you a BHM???


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 27, 2009)

I'd do him................


:wubu: JonBlaze


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## Jon Blaze (Apr 27, 2009)

Actor4hire said:


> Well to come out and say anybody pulled a "dick move" is wrong all in itself. None of the guys who were pointing out the bias towards fat women on the board ever called out anybody in particular. You don't have to agree with what I or anybody else said, but to say "dick move" shows a lack of class...
> 
> And I am just wondering, are you a BHM???



Apparently you didn't read half my post.

That's a line from a parody DBZ. I wasn't completely serious about using, hence my  at the end of it, but I'll kind be about it. I apologize because you're offended by it.

Regardless of that:

It still isn't right for you to call them shallow, when you haven't said whether or not you feel that FAs are obligated to be bisizual like Greeny and I. If you think they aren't obligated, then guess what? That's a double standard. 

And where did I say anything about calling people out in particular? I said "Non tactful." Something can be in bad taste without a name being mentioned.


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## Carrie (Apr 27, 2009)

Size acceptance and wanting to bone someone are two completely different things. There are BHM here, on this board, who prefer thin partners - does that mean they are against size acceptance? I don't think so. And I don't get the slightest bit offended when one of them states his preference for a thin partner. Why should I? It's not a personal affront to _me_; it's just the way he rolls (no pun intended ). Attraction is a very visceral thing, with very little, if any logic. You want to do who you want to do, and that's about it. All the compassion and understanding in the world isn't going to change something as elusive and uncontrollable as attraction. Of course someone who states their preference in an obnoxious manner is, well, obnoxious, and may well be the anti-size acceptance devil, but just having a preference doesn't make it so.


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## Actor4hire (Apr 27, 2009)

Jon Blaze said:


> Apparently you didn't read half my post.
> 
> That's a line from a parody DBZ. I wasn't completely serious about using, hence my  at the end of it, but I'll kind be about it. I apologize because you're offended by it.
> 
> ...




JB, 

When you say "Dick move guys, dick move" I took it as saying that the guys who were speaking out on the issue were being "dicks". 

Maybe I just look at this board a little different than others. I would like to think this is a place where everybody is open to other people of size (or lack there of) and would be willing to free their minds enough to at least go on a date with a large guy. 

Obviously there is more too attraction that just the size of somebodys body. I know that I am attracted to both large and small women. A persons face, smile, personality etc., play a large role in what I find attractive. 

But I personally would never say "I just don't date fat girls" or "I just dont date thin girls" And I sure as heck wouldn't say I don't date fat girls when I am on a board that is supposed to be about size acceptance. 

To answer your question. I think that everybody on the board, whether they are fat, thin or inbetween, should be open to dating people of all size & especially people of size, seeing that this is a place where we can all be safe as one. 

If this was a place where another minority group (although fat people are becoming the majority) came together to show support & you have people on the board saying "Sorry, I only date outside of my minority", wouldn't that be defeating the purpose of being on the board? 

This is what the history of Dimensions is "Dimensions originated as the newsletter of a "special interest group" of NAAFA, the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. NAAFA, which was founded in 1969, fights against the discrimination fat people are subjected to in our society"

IMO, for a fat man to be discriminated against due to his size, is against the principals that Dimensions was founded upon. Also IMO, (And several other BHM seeing the responses I have received in my inbox from the first post I wrote) that saying that you wont date somebody because of there size is discrimination & thus sets a double standard...


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## Carrie (Apr 27, 2009)

Actor4hire said:


> Maybe I just look at this board a little different than others. I would like to think this is a place where everybody is open to other people of size (or lack there of) and would be willing to free their minds enough to at least go on a date with a large guy.
> 
> Obviously there is more too attraction that just the size of somebodys body. I know that I am attracted to both large and small women. A persons face, smile, personality etc., play a large role in what I find attractive.
> 
> But I personally would never say "I just don't date fat girls" or "I just dont date thin girls" And I sure as heck wouldn't say I don't date fat girls when I am on a board that is supposed to be about size acceptance.


That is a very fair point, and I always think that if people can keep an open mind, they might be surprised at whom they find attractive, with a little time and getting to know someone. For some people, the physical attraction can build as an emotional tie builds (that's how it works for me), but that doesn't happen to everyone. For some people it's either instant attraction, or not at all. It's very possible that many people who say "I only date thin" or "I only date fat" are part of that group and know it, and that's okay. Different strokes and all that.


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## William (Apr 27, 2009)

Speaking of NAAFA when I use to look at the older material on their website it was obvious that NAAFA was just as much a Fat Admiration Group as it was a Fat Rights Group and Fat Admiration of that time had nothing (zero) to do with Fat Men. 

So that is the Fat Acceptance and Fat Admiration that Fat Men deal with today. NAAFA has stripped a lot of the old stuff off the website, but it does not have nearly the influence it had when that mindset was created.

William




Actor4hire said:


> JB,
> 
> When you say "Dick move guys, dick move" I took it as saying that the guys who were speaking out on the issue were being "dicks".
> 
> ...


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## undrcovrbrothr (Apr 27, 2009)

edx said:


> Actually *this* board is about BHM (fat guys) and female fat admirers (women who are attracted to fat guys), although none of the Dimensions boards have ever been all that exclusive, so long as you are friendly to the topic at hand.
> 
> About your broader point, Dimensions has always accepted that not all fat people prefer fat partners. There has never been any objections to that point, and I don't think you are going to be able to change it now. So yes, it is perfectly fine for fat folk to talk about thin folk that they are attracted to, although they should try to do it in the right board (a BBW talking about the thin guys she adores on this board is probably in the wrong place, although conversation can take odd turns). And because conversations are interesting when they are inclusive, sometime there are even thin people talking about their thin crushes, and that is cool so long as they are being respectful of the other posters on the boards.





LillyBBBW said:


> The person who created this site is thin. A man, often depicted in a wetsuit. A wetsuit wearin' German speaking thin man who prefers fat women and is in fact married to one. I am not certian it was his intent in the founding of this site to prevent his own wife from participating here due to her poor choice of spouse.



Please don't hurt me, yall!!!!! LOL I was just curious as to see how the debate would run, and I didn't expect the loaded gun to be pointed at me as if I was saying nobody should be participating who is not exactly in this category, it was more devil's advocate!

See what happens when I stick my foot in a raging river? I get sucked in because I wanted to see how the water felt...ugh. I have no hangups as far as preferences go; just interested in seeing how the discussion went.

Carry on, people, carry on.. I retire.


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## William (Apr 28, 2009)

Hi Lilly

A lot of people outside of Fat Acceptance and Admiration do have a preference and Fat on a body is not it!! 

I think that some Fat People date thin because it make them feel better about themselves. I think that some Fat People date thin because they do not want to think of themselves as settling for another Fat Person. These of course are the extreme cases.

The rest of us learn and unlearn what we preferrer from our parents, families, friends growing and what we experience becoming adults.

I think that everyone here has a preference, but some people's preferences are wide and they acknowledge by the way they describe themselves "they created the word bi-sizual "

I think that far more BHM are "Bi-sizual" than BBWs because even here on Dimensions there are so many BBWs who never hardly even use the acronym BHM let alone express any attraction to Fat Men or even show support. They operate on Dimensions as if Fat Men do not even exist.

Out on the main boards when a BBW makes a neutral or non-supportive statement about Fat Men, if you look at the her posting history she is most likely never have posted on the BHM/FFA Board.

I have always enjoyed BBWs who are active on the BHM board because unconditional support of BHM and their respect and support for the thin FFA here. There has been some true Size Acceptance here.

William




LillyBBBW said:


> Yes, that's it. Most people have no prefference one way or the other so very few will label themselves as ffa.


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## William (Apr 28, 2009)

Hi 

I do not mean to be harsh and there are BHM that stay on the BHM/FFA Board, but a lot do visit the other boards. 

As a Fat Person I am interested in all Fat People Issues and I have visited Fat Websites geared for all different types of fat people.

I just do not understand people on Dimension who totally segregate themselves here on Dimensions. I understand that some BHM may feel slighted on other boards on Dimensions, but I have never let that stop me from adding my input here and there.

William

:::Snip:::


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## LillyBBBW (Apr 28, 2009)

William said:


> Hi Lilly
> 
> A lot of people outside of Fat Acceptance and Admiration do have a preference and Fat on a body is not it!!
> 
> ...



I'm not certain if any of that is true or not. It can't be proven one way or another, we can only speak on our experiences. My experiences have been that fat men can be adamantly against being involved with fat women for some of the same reasons you mentioned above. It's something I've always assumed which has made me timid about approaching fat men or paying compliments. I've found in the past that doing so often made a few of them uncomfortable. Is it because they just don't have a preference for fat woman or is it some psychological aversion based on their own self image being fat? I don't know, all I know is the bottom line: I didn't get his number.  

Is it a bad thing? I can't say. If a fat man, or any man for that matter, doesn't want to go out with me I don't think he should be shamed or chastised over it unless he's a meanie puss who says something nasty. The bottom line is that I'm not his preference. The reasons don't really make that much of a difference in my view.


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## William (Apr 28, 2009)

Hi Lilly 

I may have to change my statement, I was thinking of alll the BBWs on Dimension and maybe (I am guessing) 90% do not post anyway 

What I am saying now is that of the BBW that actively participate on Dimensions many of them do connect with the BHM/FFA Board and many male FAs put in a good word here also.

Still the rest of Dimension has a ways to go before it is supportive of BHM as the BHM/FFA board is.

William






LillyBBBW said:


> I'm not certain if any of that is true or not. It can't be proven one way or another, we can only speak on our experiences. My experiences have been that fat men can be adamantly against being involved with fat women for some of the same reasons you mentioned above. It's something I've always assumed which has made me timid about approaching fat men or paying compliments. I've found in the past that doing so often made a few of them uncomfortable. Is it because they just don't have a preference for fat woman or is it some psychological aversion based on their own self image being fat? I don't know, all I know is the bottom line: I didn't get his number.
> 
> Is it a bad thing? I can't say. If a fat man, or any man for that matter, doesn't want to go out with me I don't think he should be shamed or chastised over it unless he's a meanie puss who says something nasty. The bottom line is that I'm not his preference. The reasons don't really make that much of a difference in my view.


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## Actor4hire (Apr 28, 2009)

William said:


> Hi Lilly
> 
> I may have to change my statement, I was thinking of alll the BBWs on Dimension and maybe (I am guessing) 90% do not post anyway
> 
> ...




Thank you William for clearing this up. This is really one of the main things I mean't to point out in the beginning, but I went off on a different tangent. 

The BHM part of this site can be a ghost town for posters. Very few members ever take a second to look at the posts/issues that BHM deal with and talk about. 

Thank you to all the BBW's & thin FFA's who take time to read and post. I post on all parts of the website, not just the BHM boards. I just wish more BBW's would do the same.

I know that Dimensions was started years ago by skinny men and there admiration for fat women, but the board has evolved (so I would like to think) over the years to include different sexes, sizes & sexual orientations. Maybe it's time that the posters on the board evolve too...


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## Surlysomething (Apr 28, 2009)

Actor4hire said:


> Thank you William for clearing this up. This is really one of the main things I mean't to point out in the beginning, but I went off on a different tangent.
> 
> The BHM part of this site can be a ghost town for posters. Very few members ever take a second to look at the posts/issues that BHM deal with and talk about.
> 
> ...



And i've tried to encourage more BHM to post outside of the BHM/FFA board on a CONSISTENT basis. It goes both ways.


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## Weeze (Apr 28, 2009)

No one loves BHM.
That's right.

Can we look at the first couple pages of this thread please? 
god, people. don't be so sensitive. you like what you like, and you really can't help it. I don't understand why we have to have essentially the EXACT SAME ARGUMENT all the time. Guess what? BHM and BBW can be couples. I'VE SEEN IT DONE! I LIVE WITH A PAIR!* Can we move on now? Please? Actual meaningful, discussion that we haven't had twenty times before. GO.




Oh and by the way, if you SERIOUSLY think Blaze was calling you a dick, you're really, really wrong. I don't think he would say that to ANYONE, even if they were in fact acting like a dick.





*yes, i'm talking about my parents


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## Jon Blaze (Apr 28, 2009)

Actor4hire said:


> JB,
> 
> When you say "Dick move guys, dick move" I took it as saying that the guys who were speaking out on the issue were being "dicks".



Not really, and you established that you are bisizual, which changes this a bit. I'm just use to people saying this sort of thing NOT being bisizual (Causing me to swiftly jam my foot in their ass for that double standard ). I apologize for that as well.



Actor4hire said:


> Maybe I just look at this board a little different than others. I would like to think this is a place where everybody is open to other people of size (or lack there of) and would be willing to free their minds enough to at least go on a date with a large guy.



Well we have to remember this is board about "Plus size women and their admirers," that evolved to "Plus sized people and their admirers." Dimensions really isn't a bisizual site, although bisizuality does have its place here. That doesn't mean that anyone has any obligations though. As I said before: A large percentage of the bbws that don't like bhms have already tried just as a large portion of FAs may in the past have tried to date thinner partners. For some people like you and I, it is possible for us to find sexual appeal in a variety of sizes, and for some others they can't. There's no reason in slandering or forcing those people, just as there's no reason for slandering them for what they may like. 

Dims has made leaps and bounds, even with bisizuality. I got reamed when I mentioned it on the old boards, but now most posters see that it has a place, but it's no law.



Actor4hire said:


> Obviously there is more too attraction that just the size of somebodys body. I know that I am attracted to both large and small women. A persons face, smile, personality etc., play a large role in what I find attractive.
> 
> But I personally would never say "I just don't date fat girls" or "I just dont date thin girls" And I sure as heck wouldn't say I don't date fat girls when I am on a board that is supposed to be about size acceptance.



The first paragraph: I agree, but even someone that my be exclusive to a bodytype can consider the other criteria. That's where I thought you were in the wrong in the previous post. You implied that having a preference/exclusiveness made someone shallow, when that is not so.

The second paragraph: I also agree, but again: Dims is a board covering more than just Size Acceptance. It's original role was about Fat Admiration, and that's pretty much the nerve center with other things thrown in. It just can't be Size Acceptance, and to be honest: It doesn't have a very good rep on most Size Acceptance sites sans Fat Admiration being thrown in. They hiss at me when I mention it in the fatosphere. 




Actor4hire said:


> To answer your question. I think that everybody on the board, whether they are fat, thin or inbetween, should be open to dating people of all size & especially people of size, seeing that this is a place where we can all be safe as one.
> 
> If this was a place where another minority group (although fat people are becoming the majority) came together to show support & you have people on the board saying "Sorry, I only date outside of my minority", wouldn't that be defeating the purpose of being on the board?
> 
> ...



I respect your opinion, but again you are confusing issues.

NAAFA, just like the NAACP and GLAAD for example have nothing to do with the goal of getting people to find the groups sexually attractive. Their main goals in all cases is to *fight discrimination*, and in many cases promote equality for all people on the basis of what the movement is about.

The NAACP didn't start because a bunch people decided that people of color aren't attractive. It started because people of color over the years were oppressed, separated, prejudged, attacked, maimed, and more. Their goal isn't to force people to find people of color attractive: It's to give them equal rights.

GLAAD is exactly the same, EVEN when it's basis is on sexual preferences. This is the mission of GLAAD:
"The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) is dedicated to promoting and ensuring fair, accurate and inclusive representation of people and events in the media as a means of eliminating homophobia and discrimination based on gender identity and sexual orientation."

Where's the part where they are trying to force people to change their orientation?

It's about the right to choose: Not about force.

*Please don't think I've have not had to deal with something like this. When I was a junior in high school, one of my friends whom I was attracted to turned me down because of my ethnicity. It did hurt (I cried even), but I have no right to try to force her to like me, as well as others. *

So just as Carrie said: Accepting someone and wanting to bwN them are two different things. I can accept someone and be respectful to them without wanting any sort of sexual action to happen. It's right to call me and anyone else out when we are disrespectful towards people that they don't prefer on the same subject (I.e. "Ewww skinny/fat girls are disgusting!"- There's nothing right about that), but we are no more just in trying to force them into something they don't want to. That doesn't mean bisizuality isn't cool (In fact it's really cool   Haha ), or shouldn't be promoted, but that regardless: It won't work for everyone.


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## LillyBBBW (Apr 28, 2009)

oops. wrong thread


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## Actor4hire (Apr 28, 2009)

Good feedback JB. I choose to agree and disagree with some of your points, but they are all respected. 

Krismiss, the reason the conversation was started was because a BBW (CC) asked to hear from BHM on the topic. She wanted to hear, whether it was good, bad or indifferent. 

Further more, no group ever got what they wanted for their advancement by sitting on the sidelines and being quiet. The fact that in your opinion, this is the same old argument that BHM dont get the respect they deserve on the boards, means there has been little to no advancement in this area according to the BHM who choose Dimensions as a place to be communal. 

Why should we be quiet about that???


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## William (Apr 28, 2009)

Hi Surly

I see some BHM out on the Main Board and I do not feel that anyone should be judged just because they do not post on the BHM/FFA Board or the Main Board.

What gets me is that there are BBWs on Dimensions who I do not think I have ever seen use the words "Fat Men" or BHM in a post. I am not talking about posting to show an attraction, but you would think that once in a while they would mention Fat Men as support for fellow Fat People.

I can not imagine talking about Fat Issues and Problems and never mentioning Fat Women.

William





Surlysomething said:


> And i've tried to encourage more BHM to post outside of the BHM/FFA board on a CONSISTENT basis. It goes both ways.


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## Weeze (Apr 28, 2009)

Actor4hire said:


> Good feedback JB. I choose to agree and disagree with some of your points, but they are all respected.
> 
> Krismiss, the reason the conversation was started was because a BBW (CC) asked to hear from BHM on the topic. She wanted to hear, whether it was good, bad or indifferent.
> 
> ...



STEP OFF ME.

Can you please, please, PLEASE provide me with examples of bbw's deliberately putting a BHM down? Can you? And if you do dig something up that you think does that, can you please look at who is saying it, and tell me if they're actually a worthwhile human being? No. They're probably just some idiot who nobody thinks anything of anyway. 
People will like what they like. End of story. We've had this SAME ARGUMENT with BHM not liking bigger women. It's all the same story. You like what you like, there are bhm/bbw couples, there are bbw/average size couples there are bhm/average size couples. That's it! You're attracted to what you're attracted to, and I think the whole POINT of this site is that it's here to tell you it's OK. 

The argument we keep having is pointless because no matter what you do, people are still going to be physically attracted to whatever their brains are hardwired for them to be physically attracted to, and that's the way it should be.

So, if you'd like to talk about advancements that need to be made, how about you state what they are first, and how YOU think we can fix them.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 28, 2009)

Funny, I'm a proud type of person....who firmly believes that if someone doesn't find me attractive, then it's time to move on. I don't attempt to "talk people into" finding me attractive. That's insane and just plain silly at best. 

KrisMiss is also right about it being, on some level, insulting to the BBW that came into this thread to say they like BHMs and it turned into a discussion of how/why BBW don't like fat men. WTF? 
As in the women that posted aren't good enough?


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## William (Apr 28, 2009)

Well in most cases if a BBW is here and representing then the comment does not apply to her and the fact that so many BBWs stay as far away from here as possible makes the BBWs who are here even more special.

William




Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Funny, I'm a proud type of person....who firmly believes that if someone doesn't find me attractive, then it's time to move on. I don't attempt to "talk people into" finding me attractive. That's insane and just plain silly at best.
> 
> KrisMiss is also right about it being, on some level, insulting to the BBW that came into this thread to say they like BHMs and it turned into a discussion of how/why BBW don't like fat men. WTF?
> As in the women that posted aren't good enough?


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## Catkin (Apr 28, 2009)

William said:


> I see some BHM out on the Main Board and I do not feel that anyone should be judged just because they do not post on the BHM/FFA Board or the Main Board.
> 
> What gets me is that there are BBWs on Dimensions who I do not think I have ever seen use the words "Fat Men" or BHM in a post. I am not talking about posting to show an attraction, but you would think that once in a while they would mention Fat Men as support for fellow Fat People.
> 
> I can not imagine talking about Fat Issues and Problems and never mentioning Fat Women.



Um...have I missed the part where people are being judged for just posting on a particular board or two? If that's been happening, them I'm pretty screwed. But I think the point is that if fat guys want to be more noticed, then they maaaay have to move away from one particular board and branch out into the wider site.

Also, I am fat. Hooray, yippee! I don't feel the need to mention fat women in every post. In fact, my posts probably mention fat guys more than fat women. Just because someone doesn't mention one particular group all the time doesn't mean that they don't support them.


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## Catkin (Apr 28, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Funny, I'm a proud type of person....who firmly believes that if someone doesn't find me attractive, then it's time to move on. I don't attempt to "talk people into" finding me attractive. That's insane and just plain silly at best.
> 
> KrisMiss is also right about it being, on some level, insulting to the BBW that came into this thread to say they like BHMs and it turned into a discussion of how/why BBW don't like fat men. WTF?
> As in the women that posted aren't good enough?



This, too.


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## Actor4hire (Apr 28, 2009)

If you go back thru the post, you will find that a BBW made the point about there not being that many BBW's who are into BHM. She also went as far to ask us BHM what we thought about that. We (BHM) go on and answer her question & then proceed to get rail roaded for how we feel... Sounds about right... 

The point that I was trying to make was the irony that there are very few BBW's who find BHM attractive on the boards. And I never said that posters were mean about stating that they only like "skinny, athletic" types. But some BHM who are on the boards looking for a community of acceptance of their size, would take that as possibly being hurtful. 

I never said that people should be forced to date somebody that they didn't find attractive. I could never date a woman with bad skin, that is my thing. There is nothing anybody could do to change that. That is how I am built. 

But I also wouldn't go on a board for acceptance of people with bad skin & state that I only date people with clear skin. Again, just the way im built.

The debate has grown tiresome & I will just agree to disagree.


----------



## William (Apr 28, 2009)

Hi 

I am not talking BBWs who mention BBWs more than BHMs, some of them have never used the BHM without it being part of BBW/BHM.

I do not judge people by where they post until they say something off color and then once you click and view their posting history it all makes sense. It rarely fails.

William




Catkin said:


> Um...have I missed the part where people are being judged for just posting on a particular board or two? If that's been happening, them I'm pretty screwed. But I think the point is that if fat guys want to be more noticed, then they maaaay have to move away from one particular board and branch out into the wider site.
> 
> Also, I am fat. Hooray, yippee! I don't feel the need to mention fat women in every post. In fact, my posts probably mention fat guys more than fat women. Just because someone doesn't mention one particular group all the time doesn't mean that they don't support them.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 28, 2009)

This forum is about fat people and their Admirers/supporters......not a site where the criteria is you can only screw fat people.

Saying that it's insulting to you, as a fat person, that someone on the boards bangs thin people is quite reaching, IMO. I'm a fat person....I don't care if you bang the skinnies. Your sex life is really none of my business if you don't care to disclose it. Everyone else gets that same consideration......and should get it free from judgment.

I'm saying that as a fat person....who doesn't judge people upon their sexual preferences (long as it's legal anyway). I don't think any man "is out to get me" if he has sex with a thin woman. No man here owes me his sexual attentions....and no woman here owes any man hers.

We are adults....let's act like it. Life.....it's just what it is sometimes......


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## StarWitness (May 14, 2009)

BBW FFA right here.

...wow, that comment seems pretty weak after the above discussion.


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## Brooklyn Red Leg (May 17, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> My experiences have been that fat men can be adamantly against being involved with fat women for some of the same reasons you mentioned above. It's something I've always assumed which has made me timid about approaching fat men or paying compliments. I've found in the past that doing so often made a few of them uncomfortable.



Its interesting (not in a good way, I suppose) because it is all based on our own personal perceptions. Maybe that is the whole problem is that our own expectations seem to defeat us. Of course, as others have stated, there are those that simply have preferences. Right, wrong or indifferent, we're hardwired by evolution to be attracted to certain people. As much as we may deny it, we're still not much removed from our primate cousins and the rest of the animal kingdom in that our selection of a mate is based on whatever relative criteria we deem attractive. 

At least on the surface (and here I'm refering to the internet in general, not Dimensions specifically) there just isn't much in the way of BHM....acceptance doesnt seem to be the right word. Again, its relative I suppose. Naturally, being the devoted perv I am, I note there is an extreme dearth of straight BHM-based adult content, even among amateurs. The gay adult community seems to love us and I have seen a few movies out there with BBWs and BHMs as well as 1 or 2 BHMs with thin FFAs (the rarest of all). 

For my part, I love women of all shapes. However, I have a soft spot for soft girls. They are very snuggly. I was lucky enough to spend some quality time with a young BBW Friday evening. It felt great cause it was like I was robbing the cradle cause she is 23 and I'm nearly 37. :happy: I would gladly spend an evening with any of the BBWs that have posted here if for no other reason that sheer appreciation (sure, that makes me sound like a shallow douche that wants to just get his rocks off....but I mean it with the best of intentions).  I'd do it even if it was only cuddling and smooching allowed.


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## JenFromOC (May 17, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> This forum is about fat people and their Admirers/supporters......not a site where the criteria is you can only screw fat people.
> 
> Saying that it's insulting to you, as a fat person, that someone on the boards bangs thin people is quite reaching, IMO. I'm a fat person....*I don't care if you bang the skinnies. *Your sex life is really none of my business if you don't care to disclose it. Everyone else gets that same consideration......and should get it free from judgment.
> 
> ...



LOL Really, I read your whole post GEF...but, OMG "bang the skinnies" I love you


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## olwen (May 17, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> Yes, that's it. Most people have no prefference one way or the other so very few will label themselves as ffa.



Exactly. While I have my moments where I see a hot bhm and get all gooey, I don't date BHM exclusively, so I wouldn't consider myself a full on FFA. Plus there's the wonder if that hot BHM is into fat chicks. They aren't always, which is fine. Everybody likes what they like.


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## Brooklyn Red Leg (May 17, 2009)

olwen said:


> I don't date BHM exclusively, so I wouldn't consider myself a full on FFA.



See, now there is a difference again in perception. At least to my mind, any woman that would actually even be with a fat guy should be considered an FFA, even if she doesn't only go for chubbies. As strange as it sounds, I don't think the reverse is necessarily true (that a guy who will be with a chubby woman would be an FA) cause, well, there is some truth to the charge that guys are dawgs who will sleep with anyone. Believe me, I know that sound totally weird and I'm trying hard to break the last of that ridiculous Victorian morality that got instilled in me because of our culture which makes automatically put women on a pedestal (the idea that women are pure and men have our minds constantly in the gutter).


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## olwen (May 17, 2009)

Actor4hire said:


> If you go back thru the post, you will find that a BBW made the point about there not being that many BBW's who are into BHM. She also went as far to ask us BHM what we thought about that. We (BHM) go on and answer her question & then proceed to get rail roaded for how we feel... Sounds about right...
> 
> The point that I was trying to make was the irony that there are very few BBW's who find BHM attractive on the boards. And I never said that posters were mean about stating that they only like "skinny, athletic" types. But some BHM who are on the boards looking for a community of acceptance of their size, would take that as possibly being hurtful.
> 
> ...



You're right, this debate has grown tiresome, and as some other bbws have pointed out this argument goes the same way. I dated a BHM who decided in the end he didn't want to be seen with a bbw. That didn't end well. As one fat person to others, ya'll need to get over it, the same way I did. Sounds harsh, but take it as practical advice from someone who's been in that place. It used to piss me off that fat guys wouldn't ever dream of dating a bbw, but such is life and in the end it doesn't matter because none of us can change other people's sexual preferences. It just is the way is. We like what we like. 




Brooklyn Red Leg said:


> ....*At least on the surface (and here I'm refering to the internet in general, not Dimensions specifically) there just isn't much in the way of BHM....acceptance doesnt seem to be the right word. Again, its relative I suppose. Naturally, being the devoted perv I am, I note there is an extreme dearth of straight BHM-based adult content, even among amateurs. The gay adult community seems to love us and I have seen a few movies out there with BBWs and BHMs as well as 1 or 2 BHMs with thin FFAs (the rarest of all). *...



Remember, porn is usually made for men, not women. If there's a dearth of straight BHM porn it's cause men aren't making it. And would any straight BHM be willing to participate? This may be a topic for another thread.


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## escapist (May 17, 2009)

olwen said:


> Remember, porn is usually made for men, not women. If there's a dearth of straight BHM porn it's cause men aren't making it. And would any straight BHM be willing to participate? This may be a topic for another thread.



I think I already addressed this. I'll just say, no footage has been released at this point. There have been many talks about me doing a pay site or selling the footage to other distributes. PM me if your to afraid to post that you would actually like to see it and would be willing to pay to see it. Also post/PM suggestions of things you would like to see, squishing, positions, stories, or are we just going for strait up hard core porn? What is the paying female public wanting to see?


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## olwen (May 17, 2009)

escapist said:


> I think I already addressed this. I'll just say, no footage has been released at this point. There have been many talks about me doing a pay site or selling the footage to other distributes. PM me if your to afraid to post that you would actually like to see it and would be willing to pay to see it. Also post/PM suggestions of things you would like to see, squishing, positions, stories, or are we just going for strait up hard core porn? What is the paying female public wanting to see?



I for one would LOVE to see your sexual gymnastics of the hard core variety (is there any other?), and I would pay for the privilege. I think you might already have a good idea of what I want to see.


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## Brooklyn Red Leg (May 17, 2009)

olwen said:


> Remember, porn is usually made for men, not women. If there's a dearth of straight BHM porn it's cause men aren't making it.



I think, at least as far as 'professional' porn is concerned, the industry as a general rule isn't interested in having fat guys as performers. I think its kind of sad (at least from my perspective) that 'we' (the collective fat guy 'we') aren't considered worth as a subculture other than among the gay porn industry. They say there is a fetish for everybody, except straight BHMs. 

I guess it sounds odd, but I want to see 'professional' straight porn with big guys because I can sort of project. I'll be honest, when I see a vid with an absolutely luscious BBW and she's nailing an athletic dude, it pisses me off cause I'm envious of that guy (I can't really project and say 'Yea, I could be with her'). Yes, I know I probably need mental counseling for having admitted this. :happy:



> And would any straight BHM be willing to participate? This may be a topic for another thread.



I would happily volunteer, even if it was only for amateur porn.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 17, 2009)

Brooklyn Red Leg said:


> which makes automatically put women on a pedestal (the idea that women are pure and men have our minds constantly in the gutter).



I can see why you would do that............cause *my* mind is NEVAH in the gutter......


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## LisaInNC (May 17, 2009)

I adore chunky guys...but I have yet to find one who likes BBW. They all prefer very thin girls.


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## WhiteHotRazor (May 17, 2009)

^ hi how ya doing my name is Nate I'm a Aries and I like Beer,Sex and Movies plus a whole lot more.

Now your statement is in fact false.


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## LisaInNC (May 17, 2009)

WhiteHotRazor said:


> ^ hi how ya doing my name is Nate I'm a Aries and I like Beer,Sex and Movies plus a whole lot more.
> 
> Now your statement is in fact false.



Was this for me? LOL I have totally emailed you before!! You didnt seem to want to chat....And if this wasnt for me...then um I have totally humiliated myself. :blush:


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## WhiteHotRazor (May 17, 2009)

yea it was for you goofball hence the ^... I'm just saying there's some chunky guys that dig the chunky girls we do exist and I don't recall msgs from you.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 17, 2009)

WHR....I am throwing down the gauntlet. You're just going to have to do Lisa and myself to prove your sincerity...........this is for totally scientific purposes........


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## WhiteHotRazor (May 17, 2009)

Bring it on. I'll take a twofer


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## LisaInNC (May 17, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> WHR....I am throwing down the gauntlet. You're just going to have to do Lisa and myself to prove your sincerity...........this is for totally scientist purposes........



And since GEF and I live fairly close...you can do it all in one trip!!


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 17, 2009)

*silently mouths "PM me baby"*


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## Famouslastwords (May 17, 2009)

WELL WELL WELL, so I see my girl GEF has posted in this thread and I come and look and THIS is what I find. BITCH, YOU'RE CHEATIN' ON ME?

I thought we had something going after we went to second base and with the eyeball beads and stuff, but you were just using me.

Now I'm disillusioned and wounded.

Oh sad is the world, but at least I have my kavorkian scarf! (blood pressure cuff)


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 17, 2009)

It's ok babe.......he's willing to do us both in the eye....and Lisa gets to watch  :happy:


Don't pretend you didn't realize that I'm a cawk worshipper


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## Famouslastwords (May 17, 2009)

hmmm alrighty then *tosses the blood pressure cuff aside*


well I thought maybe you swung both ways....


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## LisaInNC (May 17, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> It's ok babe.......he's willing to do us both in the eye....and Lisa gets to watch  :happy:
> 
> 
> Don't pretend you didn't realize that I'm a cawk worshipper



SCORE!! 
I GET TO WATCH EYEBALL SEX!!


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## WhiteHotRazor (May 17, 2009)

Wait I never agreed to eyeball fuckin....but OK.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 17, 2009)

It will be good for you........I promise :batting: 


Don't forget your camera, Lisa


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## WhiteHotRazor (May 17, 2009)

I'll try anything twice...well maybe not ANYTHING.


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## Famouslastwords (May 17, 2009)

you know, I'm getting cold feet and not cuz I'm not wearing socks either.....


I kinda have cute eyes, so I'm thinking maybe I'll just watch as you fuck GEF's eyeballs-even though her's are cuter than mine. 

Well unless WHR promises not to squish them. You know, in the throws of passion, cuz I wanna keep using them after.


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## WhiteHotRazor (May 17, 2009)

Idk then, I'm kinda forceful sometimes I could tone it down but you still might have Forrest Whittaker eye after.


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## Famouslastwords (May 17, 2009)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Brooklyn Red Leg (May 17, 2009)

Well, someone has to film this cause then I can project and think 'Yea, I could score with GEF and LisainNC'.:wubu::kiss2:


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## StarWitness (May 17, 2009)

Brooklyn Red Leg said:


> I'll be honest, when I see a vid with an absolutely luscious BBW and she's nailing an athletic dude, it pisses me off cause I'm envious of that guy (I can't really project and say 'Yea, I could be with her').



That's how I feel when I see a movie or TV show featuring a cute chubby guy with a thin model-type playing his girlfriend/wife.


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## Brooklyn Red Leg (May 17, 2009)

StarWitness said:


> That's how I feel when I see a movie or TV show featuring a cute chubby guy with a thin model-type playing his girlfriend/wife.



Hehe, see, its all based on our perceptions. Like I said, I would love to see some of the ladies of Dimensions in hardcore with a chubby guy cause, well, I could project. I can live vicariously through whatever lucky dude got the chance to sleep with the goddesses of this website. :kiss2:


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## AshleyEileen (May 18, 2009)

-jumps up and down while frantically waving her arms-

I'M RIGHT HERE!


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## cant20 (May 18, 2009)

LisaInNC said:


> I adore chunky guys...but I have yet to find one who likes BBW. They all prefer very thin girls.



Ummm...no they don't..not all of us!! I live for the chunky girls! :wubu:


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## kojack (May 18, 2009)

I was about to ask the same. Well, I've actually run into a few sweet gals that don't mind thicker guys. I'd just like to run into one that wants to make one thicker.


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## EtobicokeFA (May 18, 2009)

LisaInNC said:


> I adore chunky guys...but I have yet to find one who likes BBW. They all prefer very thin girls.



Congratulations you found one! Not a single one, but you can at least now say you found one. 

But, I understand how you fell, you know how long it took to find a BBW that liked BHMs?


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## MaxArden (May 18, 2009)

I'm bhm who has always loved bbws. I've posted in most of the forums at one time or another...Just Sayin'


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## StarMoon (May 18, 2009)

Brooklyn Red Leg said:


> I think, at least as far as 'professional' porn is concerned, the industry as a general rule isn't interested in having fat guys as performers. I think its kind of sad (at least from my perspective) that 'we' (the collective fat guy 'we') aren't considered worth as a subculture other than among the gay porn industry. They say there is a fetish for everybody, except straight BHMs.
> *
> I guess it sounds odd, but I want to see 'professional' straight porn with big guys because I can sort of project. I'll be honest, when I see a vid with an absolutely luscious BBW and she's nailing an athletic dude, it pisses me off cause I'm envious of that guy (I can't really project and say 'Yea, I could be with her'). Yes, I know I probably need mental counseling for having admitted this. :happy:*
> 
> ...




Personally I find in hilarious, comedic when that happens


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## escapist (May 21, 2009)

olwen said:


> I for one would LOVE to see your sexual gymnastics of the hard core variety (is there any other?), and I would pay for the privilege. I think you might already have a good idea of what I want to see.



LOL yeah I do  I'm still looking for ideas though, the only thing I can come up with is to mix it up, some with small FFA's some with BBW FFA's.



LisaInNC said:


> I adore chunky guys...but I have yet to find one who likes BBW. They all prefer very thin girls.



Uh Hello, I still have your phone number even  I wanted to meet you years ago remember?


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## Smite (May 22, 2009)

You know, I think the bigger prob re: the porn is finding the female models who would be willing to do perform with a BHM. I mean, i'm sure it could be done (which is something i've always wanted to do, if I am every sleazy enough to operate a porn site), but it'd be hard to find the models to do it.

Then again, if anyone ever does wanna do it, PM me and lets talk rates and i'll find you a performer BHM equiv.


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## escapist (Jun 24, 2009)

Smite said:


> You know, I think the bigger prob re: the porn is finding the female models who would be willing to do perform with a BHM. I mean, i'm sure it could be done (which is something i've always wanted to do, if I am every sleazy enough to operate a porn site), but it'd be hard to find the models to do it.
> 
> Then again, if anyone ever does wanna do it, PM me and lets talk rates and i'll find you a performer BHM equiv.



Um noooo that's an EASY thing to find. Lets not forget to mention once again I live in Sin City. I do however think I'm gonna stick to only FFA's (of all shapes and sizes!). I think the girls here are right. There needs to be a broader spectrum of BHM lovers not just small thin girls. I do enjoy them but absolutely have been with some amazingly hot BBW's as well. However I have never been with a BBW FFA. All the BBW's I was with here just comfortable because I'm big too. I don't think it was actually a turn on for them that I'm big. FFA's are to easy to spot now. I never had an FFA that didn't go crazy playing with my Huge belly or Big ass! Or heck even just seeing it for that mater. The BBW's always just seemed more into me (not that its a bad thing) I just want the FFA-ness to come out in the video.

I can do my own web hosting programming etc. Already have a production company and distributor pushing for content.


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## Paquito (Jun 24, 2009)

Chunky guy who loves chunky girls right here


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## indy500tchr (Jun 27, 2009)

I haven't read this entire thread but I am an SSBBW who likes any size guy.

I've dated SSBHM's, BHM's, really short guys, really tall guys, really skinny guys and all in between.

For me size isn't what turns me on it's who the guy is not WHAT he looks like. I guess you can say I don't have a preference. Although cute cuddly teddybears are my absolute FAVE :wubu:


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## tankgirl (Jun 29, 2009)

Well, I'm here too... This is kind of an old thread... o.o
I dunno what the hell I classify as, straight FFA or a BBW FFA. Perhaps Amazon FFA. (tall, muscled, semi-athletic, but not 100% in shape, yeh)
I know I like big chicks too, but not as much as I like big dudes....
My dream is a lil girlfriend (between 5'0" and 5'6") and a big man (over 6'2" and at least 250 lbs).....
Uhm.
And I live in the Left Armpit of the US (yes, the LEFT armpit, not the right, not the crotch, not the anus, though it's close to the Taint aka Wyoming/Montana). No, the US is not anatomically correct.
One could also call my home Spokane, WA.
See, all the guys here are 
(A) too fuckin weird for even ME. (proof, I've only dated people who were NOT born here) (not the same as mentally unstable)
(B) on worse drugs than I've ever done. 
(B.5) OR just got OFF worse drugs than I've ever been on and want support more than they want a sig. other but think fucking someone is a good way to get support.
(C) mentally unstable in a bad way. (not the same as weird)
(C.1) whiny weaklings, useless except to snap in half, already broken (in the BDSM sense), can't even be arsed to wash the dishes or clean out the cat litter or GOD FORBID make the BED... then whine when things aren't done
(C.2) nasty domineering types who still can't be arsed to do a damn thing but will raise hell if it doesn't get done, complain about everything, and won't shut the hell up
(C.3) flaky / airheaded (in a bad way)
(D) too wrapped up in the DRAMA to be of any use. 
(E) taken / married with kids. 
(F) Some combination thereof.

The females are all 
(A) in need of help:
(A.1) flaky / airheaded in a bad way
(A.2) neurotic in a bad way
(A.3) psychotic in a bad way
(A.4) whiny weaklings, useless except to snap in half, already broken (in the BDSM sense), can't even be arsed to wash the dishes or clean out the cat litter or GOD FORBID make the BED... then whine when things aren't done
(A.5) nasty domineering types who still can't be arsed to do a damn thing but will raise hell if it doesn't get done, complain about everything, and won't shut the hell up
(B) FUCKING DRAMA QUEENS!! >.< 
(C) stupid (NOT ignorant).
(D) ignorant AND stupid (meaning, uneducated, inexperienced, and don't give a damn). 
or occasionally (E) taken / married with kids.
And then there's (F) doesn't want a sig. other, and is trying to "find self."
(G) Mentally unstable.
(H) Some combination thereof.

Spokane is NOT a good place to be single. 9.9 Especially if you're broke. 
Now, I have a long-time partner, but I've recently been looking for a gf around here, and I've sent I don't know HOW many emails or made HOWEVER many phone calls.... and no replies. This town SUCKS, with its' big city delusions.
Not to mention that only about one in five people can acutally make a damn commitment instead of blathering about "Well I MIGHT have to...." and "So-and-So COULD be ...." or "This thing MIGHT be going on but I don't know where or when".... Morons...

But yeh, I'm a larger-than-average female who enjoys bigger-than-everyone-else guys.
HI!!!! 

*DISCLAIMER* 
The above comments may be seen as rude and untrue. This is because the above comments were based on the greater 98% of the local population, instead of the 2% that I fall into. I make no comment as to the reader's percentage group.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jun 29, 2009)

tankgirl said:


> The females are all
> 
> (A.1) flaky / airheaded in a bad way



I am flaky/airheaded.....but GDI, in a GOOD way 





tankgirl said:


> (A.2) neurotic in a bad way
> 
> (G) Mentally unstable.



Okay okay....you got me there :doh: :blush:




tankgirl said:


> (A.4) whiny weaklings, useless except to snap in half, already broken (in the BDSM sense), can't even be arsed to wash the dishes or clean out the cat litter or GOD FORBID make the BED... then whine when things aren't done
> 
> (A.5) nasty domineering types who still can't be arsed to do a damn thing but will raise hell if it doesn't get done, complain about everything, and won't shut the hell up




Now you're turning me on.........you remind me of those abusive exes now :wubu:



tankgirl said:


> Spokane is NOT a good place to be single. 9.9 Especially if you're broke.
> Now, I have a long-time partner, but I've recently been looking for a gf around here, and I've sent I don't know HOW many emails or made HOWEVER many phone calls.... and no replies. This town SUCKS, with its' big city delusions.
> Not to mention that only about one in five people can acutally make a damn commitment instead of blathering about "Well I MIGHT have to...." and "So-and-So COULD be ...." or "This thing MIGHT be going on but I don't know where or when".... Morons...
> 
> ...




You seemed to have covered every possible angle for being single....except the obvious


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## Surlysomething (Jul 1, 2009)

*throws down her bbw ffa gang signs again*

wut wut


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## OneHauteMama (Jul 9, 2009)

I'm a bi-sizual BBW, but I find I look at BHM's more often than thinner guys... I'm more apt to go for someone who has some chunk (or a lot of chunk) than someone who is super thin or even average. Not to say I wouldn't give them a chance if they weren't chunkified or that I wouldn't be attracted, but in general it's the big boys that catch my eye.


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## lilme (Jul 9, 2009)

I am a person that likes all typs LOL 
Maybe not the best response.
I am not a wonderful BBW OR SSBBW 
I am just a ffa that likes bhm.
:happy:


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## IszyStone (Jul 11, 2009)

I'm squishee and I like other squishees


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## scorpioinco (Jul 12, 2009)

Actor4hire said:


> I never intended for what I wrote to start a brewhaha, but if that's where it goes, so be it. The only reason I wrote what I wrote is because somebody earlier in the post wanted to hear more from the BHM in regards to the lack of BBW FA's. So I wrote, what I wrote and I stand by it 100%.
> 
> I think this board is a great place for people of size to feel safe and accepted. But there is a HUGE (No pun intended) double standard when it comes to BHM and BBW's on this board.
> 
> ...



I have noticed the bias in the issue and thought maybe I was just sensitive. It's nice to see some women come forward and be strong enough to speak about it. Actor gets mad kudos from me at least for having the stones (so to speak) to speak out. Sorry I'm late to the party but I just saw the thread and recently began to post rather than simply lurk.

As a large guy I will readily admit that I prefer smaller women over the larger but it depends on the woman. My attraction starts with personality more often than not so I tend to allow bigger women to be the object of my affection and interests. Having dated a couple of BBW's I can say that my experience has been sex between two fat people is much more limited, while this is not the end all be all of a relationship it is important to me to have a fulfilling sex life and this sometimes will eliminate a potential interest. As a guy the visual is very often a motivator in my approach. If there is simply no attraction how can there be chemistry? Also from what I see of my male friends and acquaintances, I think perhaps some deeper instinct may come into play in the bias. From my experience men as a whole are more sexually motivated and therefor there are normally far more men than women looking for a partner at any given time allowing women to be more selective in their partners and interests as they will find far more possibilities than a single man will, particularly if he has some deemed flaw. Women can simply afford to be more picky. This may sound chauvinistic but I think it's also a simple truth.


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## Surlysomething (Jul 12, 2009)

scorpioinco said:


> I have noticed the bias in the issue and thought maybe I was just sensitive. It's nice to see some women come forward and be strong enough to speak about it. Actor gets mad kudos from me at least for having the stones (so to speak) to speak out. Sorry I'm late to the party but I just saw the thread and recently began to post rather than simply lurk.
> 
> As a large guy I will readily admit that I prefer smaller women over the larger but it depends on the woman. My attraction starts with personality more often than not so I tend to allow bigger women to be the object of my affection and interests. Having dated a couple of BBW's I can say that my experience has been sex between two fat people is much more limited, while this is not the end all be all of a relationship it is important to me to have a fulfilling sex life and this sometimes will eliminate a potential interest. As a guy the visual is very often a motivator in my approach. If there is simply no attraction how can there be chemistry? Also from what I see of my male friends and acquaintances, I think perhaps some deeper instinct may come into play in the bias. From my experience men as a whole are more sexually motivated and therefor there are normally far more men than women looking for a partner at any given time allowing women to be more selective in their partners and interests as they will find far more possibilities than a single man will, particularly if he has some deemed flaw. Women can simply afford to be more picky. This may sound chauvinistic but I think it's also a simple truth.




And reading this topic always makes me feel more marginalized than ever. As a BBW who is into BHM and came to this site because of that fact, finding the majority of BHM here being into thin to average women has actually put me off of my preference. I might have openly sought out a BHM with the thought of a 'relationship' but now I know there's not really any reason to do so. I'm not into thin/average FA men so i'm stuck in the awkward middle. Thank god for the Music Thread.


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## William (Jul 12, 2009)

Hi Surly

I think that a big problem is that there are far fewer BHMs than BBWs in places like Dimensions and the many of the BHMs that are here are looking for FFAs and have never been into Fat Acceptance or even Self Acceptance.

William




Surlysomething said:


> And reading this topic always makes me feel more marginalized than ever. As a BBW who is into BHM and came to this site because of that fact, finding the majority of BHM here being into thin to average women has actually put me off of my preference. I might have openly sought out a BHM with the thought of a 'relationship' but now I know there's not really any reason to do so. I'm not into thin/average FA men so i'm stuck in the awkward middle. Thank god for the Music Thread.


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## scorpioinco (Jul 12, 2009)

Surlysomething said:


> And reading this topic always makes me feel more marginalized than ever. As a BBW who is into BHM and came to this site because of that fact, finding the majority of BHM here being into thin to average women has actually put me off of my preference. I might have openly sought out a BHM with the thought of a 'relationship' but now I know there's not really any reason to do so. I'm not into thin/average FA men so i'm stuck in the awkward middle. Thank god for the Music Thread.



I offer a sincere apology if I made you feel marginalized, it was in no way my intent, the same goes for any others who may have felt this way. I do find larger women attractive just not as often as I do average women, and honestly what I find average, a few of my guy friends call chunky, its all subjective. Hell i was married to a BBW for 8 years so obviously I found something about her attractive and one doesn't abstain for 8 years so the sex issue couldn't have been a deal breaker. I know you may not have known that but you took a small portion of my post to be something bigger than it was. Someone stating that there are things they usually find most attractive, while also in the next sentence stating that they have dated large women and find them attractive is no reason to feel marginalized it is just generality. I find goth women to be extremely attractive and yet have never dated one, none have had the personality that is so important to me, and it in no way means I would only date a gothy woman. I felt called out to be honest and so I was, but I see no one else stating that as a bhm they would not date a bbw, if you have evidence otherwise please show me I honestly would like to see why you feel that way, especially since I feel that there is bias toward us as BHM's, if we big men as a whole were equally rejective of the BBW's I would not feel so betrayed and would simply accept my place, but my personal experiences have been that most guys particularly big guys, would in fact date larger women. Perhaps we need a vote thread from the guys here to get a better idea, as we're both forming assumptions strictly on our own limited experiences and may be missing something?

What made me post was the way the BBW community has pushed ahead allowing them to be far more selective while leaving those of us who have the same issues they faced to be an afterthought. The perceived, apparently not just by myself, bias and hypocritical nature of it all is what bothers me and I found the honesty in this post refreshing. There seems to me to be a double standard in the support and acceptance issue, equality was more my point than "As a BHM I only like average women", that simply is not the case. 

For what it's worth I think you're pretty damn cute and if you were even remotely close to me would probably be telling you to head to the west forum and the colorado thread and come have a beer with us in denver (if and when that ever happens).  As an afterthought I'm pretty sure I sent you a PM prior to posting in this thread thanking you for your rep comment, I do not casually throw around compliments simply to flatter and I am not afraid to say what I mean at any given moment, so you take it as genuine. Don't let a few words from an ass with a piss poor internal monologue, who simply got a fire lit because he felt strongly, stop you from pursuing something you find desirable.


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## scorpioinco (Jul 12, 2009)

William said:


> Hi Surly
> 
> I think that a big problem is that there are far fewer BHMs than BBWs in places like Dimensions and the many of the BHMs that are here are looking for FFAs and have never been into Fat Acceptance or even Self Acceptance.
> 
> William



I totally agree with you William. To be honest I only just heard the term BHM last year or the year before when I stumbled on dims, and bhm/ffa connection, while I'd heard the BBW term long long ago. There are probably a shitload of poor guys out there who have no clue that there are places like this and lots of women who are into them floating about. How do we get the whole BHM movement more widely known the way the BBW's have?


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## William (Jul 12, 2009)

Hi

Being a moderator on Size Acceptance Site I am no long surprised by how many BBW find us and did not know about Fat Acceptance or Fat Admiration. So I would not be surprised if there is a vast number of BHM out there on their own without the benefit of exchanging knowledge with other Fat People and supporters.

I do not know how to empower Fat Men, Smite had a great site but BHM were slow finding it. There have been other sites to that never really took off.

I do not think that there will ever be a significant heterosexual BHM presence in the various types of Fat Communities. It has to be some combination of heterosexual relationships, Masculinity, Femininity, the lack of a Fetish powered support community and what our parents taught us that causes hesitation in Hetro Fat Men to look at themselves and accept themselves. This is just a guess by what I have observed.

William




scorpioinco said:


> I totally agree with you William. To be honest I only just heard the term BHM last year or the year before when I stumbled on dims, and bhm/ffa connection, while I'd heard the BBW term long long ago. There are probably a shitload of poor guys out there who have no clue that there are places like this and lots of women who are into them floating about. How do we get the whole BHM movement more widely known the way the BBW's have?


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## steadydecline (Jul 12, 2009)

I'm a BBW FFA. While I do occasionally enjoy a thinner man, (as many FAs have thin crushes as well, I'm sure), I find that big guys just do it for me. Better, warmer hugs. x3


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## unconventional (Jul 20, 2009)

I think I qualify here!! Im not exactly tiny and I love really big guys, 400+ is awesome to me. I love a lot of man to cuddle with and call my own!


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## bigjmccoy (Apr 19, 2010)

My sig is true.


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## femaleseat (Sep 15, 2010)

do u prefer skinny girls or bbw? and do ppl think ur a hypocrite if u only like skinny ones?

thanks for sharing ur thoughts with me


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## Sasquatch! (Sep 15, 2010)

I think.....who gives a damn what they look like if I love them and they love me.

TBH, I'm happy checking out both. Hotness is an X factor.


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## theronin23 (Sep 15, 2010)

What Sas said. I don't have "type". Granted...in my top five there's kind of a pattern, BUT just because my top five is that doesn't mean I limit myself. When it comes to women and what I'm attracted to, I'm like a Supreme Court Justice defining obscenity, "I know it when I see it."


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## project219 (Sep 15, 2010)

I give all the ladies a chance. 

Never actually been with an FFA though sadly.


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## MaybeX (Sep 15, 2010)

I like women in general, though most comfortable with rounded women.
Been with one FFA.
Don't really care what others might think regarding girlfriends.


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## Ninja Glutton (Sep 15, 2010)

I feel like this question has been beaten to death, but it's all about confidence, intelligence, and how a woman carries herself.


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## FishCharming (Sep 15, 2010)

yes, i only like skinny women. skinnier than me anyway.

and yes, i have been given shit for being a hypocrite for it.


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## Paquito (Sep 15, 2010)

FishCharming said:


> and yes, i have been given shit for being a hypocrite for it.



You're not a hypocrite for liking smaller women, for the record.


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## BBW4Chattery (Sep 15, 2010)

Paquito said:


> You're not a hypocrite for liking smaller women, for the record.



Agreed... and I'm a fat woman...

I've said it before, will say it again... if a guy has no standards, or no sense of what he's attracted to... he's not the guy for me...

Not saying i want someone who likes my body, thin or heavy... I want someone attracted to ME... 

just saying, I wouldn't want to date a guy who couldn't define what excites him... 

don't apologize for being true to yourself... ever


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## Joe944 (Sep 15, 2010)

I don't think I could really go for someone bigger than myself, but either way, weight just isn't a quality that defines attraction for me.


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## imfree (Sep 15, 2010)

Fat is sexy and what's good enough for my lover 
is good enough for me!:happy:


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## BeerMe (Sep 16, 2010)

I prefer slimmer women but it's no deal-breaker. I'll date the fattest chick in town if she's awesome.


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## shhtx1970 (Sep 16, 2010)

I like a woman with curves.


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## Con (Sep 16, 2010)

I like women in general, lots of different kinds, BUT i particularly like curves and as a result usually prefer bbws, my head will be turned, and my attention caught more easily by a BBW than a smaller woman as a general rule of thumb. However i can be instantly very attracted to a personality too regardless of the exterior surrounding it so nothing's 100% nailed down. That said, if i had to pick one woman to bring with me to a desert island it'd have to be a bbw, that being my usual (and very pleasing preference)


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## freakyfred (Sep 16, 2010)

All they need is a good heart and sense of humour


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## rabbitislove (Sep 16, 2010)

I love the guys answers but I wish we could retire this question. Seat, I know you're new and I dont hold anything against you but this question has caused a lot of drama and division on this board.

Also for the record I love my BBW FFA sistahs. We all love fat guys and thats all that counts


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## femaleseat (Sep 16, 2010)

rabbitislove said:


> I love the guys answers but I wish we could retire this question. Seat, I know you're new and I dont hold anything against you but this question has caused a lot of drama and division on this board.
> 
> Also for the record I love my BBW FFA sistahs. We all love fat guys and thats all that counts



very well, i apologize...is there any way i can remove the question?


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## Lady Bella UK (Sep 16, 2010)

rabbitislove said:


> Also for the record I love my BBW FFA sistahs. We all love fat guys and thats all that counts



Listen to the rabbit; she speaks much sense 

xXx


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## jjvango (Sep 20, 2010)

BBW's!!!!!! Love them curves!!!! A guy could cut himself on one of those sharp, bony, skinny gals!!!


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## ~da rev~ (Sep 20, 2010)

I only like Zappa fans.


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## kinkykitten (Sep 20, 2010)

rabbitislove said:


> I love the guys answers but I wish we could retire this question. Seat, I know you're new and I dont hold anything against you but this question has caused a lot of drama and division on this board.
> 
> Also for the record I love my BBW FFA sistahs. We all love fat guys and thats all that counts



Amen Miss Rabbit!!


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## CastingPearls (Sep 20, 2010)

rabbitislove said:


> I love the guys answers but I wish we could retire this question. Seat, I know you're new and I dont hold anything against you but this question has caused a lot of drama and division on this board.
> 
> Also for the record I love my BBW FFA sistahs. We all love fat guys and thats all that counts


Thank you, Rabbit.


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## Dromond (Sep 20, 2010)

I've answered this question several times, but I'll give it another go.

I'm attracted to bigger women. A little something extra (and more than a little, of course) is what it takes to draw my attention. Only after that do I start evaluating the woman's personality. I know it's a little shallow, but it's how I am.

Nevertheless, not all of my girlfriends have been big. So I guess even that rule is not 100% inviolable.


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## RentonBob (Sep 20, 2010)

jjvango said:


> BBW's!!!!!! Love them curves!!!! A guy could cut himself on one of those sharp, bony, skinny gals!!!



Show a little class. There are slender women here who love and support us too and they deserve to be treated with respect like we all do


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## LovesBigMen (Sep 20, 2010)

rabbitislove said:


> I love the guys answers but I wish we could retire this question. Seat, I know you're new and I dont hold anything against you but this question has caused a lot of drama and division on this board.
> 
> Also for the record I love my BBW FFA sistahs. We all love fat guys and thats all that counts




Heck yes agreed


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## blubberismanly (Sep 21, 2010)

femaleseat said:


> do u prefer skinny girls or bbw? and do ppl think ur a hypocrite if u only like skinny ones



Hey! Nothing wrong with a sexy fat dude liking skinny chicks? It isn't being a hypocrite if the chick truly digs it!!!


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## Zowie (Sep 21, 2010)

blubberismanly said:


> It isn't being a hypocrite if the chick truly digs it!!!



It isn't being a hypocrite, either way...
I mean, if the guy refuses to be open-minded about his partner's weight while expecting them to be in return, yeah, I can understand. But you can't be hypocritical about who you're attracted to.


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## CastingPearls (Sep 21, 2010)

blubberismanly said:


> Hey! Nothing wrong with a sexy fat dude liking skinny chicks? It isn't being a hypocrite if the chick truly digs it!!!


There's nothing wrong with it and God only knows there are several BBW threads here devoted to BBWs and skinny men. I have nothing against BHMs or even thin men stating they prefer thin women. I respect that. I do have a problem with the question being asked over and over again like it's a popularity contest, ala Who Do You Like Better, Me or Them?.....


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## jjvango (Sep 21, 2010)

RentonBob said:


> Show a little class. There are slender women here who love and support us too and they deserve to be treated with respect like we all do



I wasn't showing disrespect just giving my opinion. After all this post DID ask for our OPINION.


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## RentonBob (Sep 21, 2010)

jjvango said:


> I wasn't showing disrespect just giving my opinion. After all this post DID ask for our OPINION.



You were showing disrespect and you can give your opinion without putting another group of people down


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## BigChaz (Sep 21, 2010)

RentonBob said:


> You were showing disrespect and you can give your opinion without putting another group of people down



He was not being disrespectful and you are going way overboard on this whole white knight thing. I sincerely doubt he truly is afraid of cutting himself on a woman because she is thin.


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## theronin23 (Sep 21, 2010)

BigChaz said:


> He was not being disrespectful and you are going way overboard on this whole white knight thing. I sincerely doubt he truly is afraid of cutting himself on a woman because she is thin.



Chaz, It's not gonna do anything, I've done this dance with him before.


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## RentonBob (Sep 21, 2010)

BigChaz said:


> He was not being disrespectful and you are going way overboard on this whole white knight thing. I sincerely doubt he truly is afraid of cutting himself on a woman because she is thin.



He was being disrespectful. I'm not trying to be anyones knight. All I'm saying is there is a way to state what you like and not disparage anyone. This site is all about size acceptance and that goes for everyone. He loves BBW's, awesome, sing their praises... He took a shot at the slender ladies and everyone knows it.


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## RentonBob (Sep 21, 2010)

theronin23 said:


> Chaz, It's not gonna do anything, I've done this dance with him before.



And you were wrong then too


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## BigChaz (Sep 21, 2010)

RentonBob said:


> He was being disrespectful. I'm not trying to be anyones knight. All I'm saying is there is a way to state what you like and not disparage anyone. This site is all about size acceptance and that goes for everyone. He loves BBW's, awesome, sing their praises... He took a shot at the slender ladies and everyone knows it.



I don't understand how this thought process works at all. The question was do you like big women or small women. To you, he should have just answered "big women". That is OK! But saying "I like big women, not small women" is wrong because that explicitly states the group you do not care for?

You need to work on your thought process a little bit.


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## RentonBob (Sep 21, 2010)

BigChaz said:


> I don't understand how this thought process works at all. The question was do you like big women or small women. To you, he should have just answered "big women". That is OK! But saying "I like big women, not small women" is wrong because that explicitly states the group you do not care for?
> 
> You need to work on your thought process a little bit.



He didn't simply say I like big women not small women... He took a shot, the thought process isn't that difficult to understand.

If you would like to discuss further. Please PM me and we can let the thread go back to the OP's intentions.


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## BigChaz (Sep 21, 2010)

RentonBob said:


> He didn't simply say I like big women not small women... He took a shot, the thought process isn't that difficult to understand.
> 
> If you would like to discuss further. Please PM me and we can let the thread go back to the OP's intentions.



Naw, I'll just wait till a mod gets trigger happy on me. I just want you to do something for me.

Please elaborate on the shot he took against smaller women. I would like to you to detail what he said and explain how it is derogatory towards that group of women. I would like you to explain the following things:

1) The tone of his post and of this thread
2) The sincerity of the last part of his post
3) Any articles or proof that you can in fact be cut to ribbons by a "bony" woman
4) Is he a liar? We should establish this.
5) In what he said, which part of it is wrong? Why is it wrong?

Any ladies out there who are offended by what he said, I would really enjoy it if you could post here and elaborate on why it is offensive. I would love to be proven wrong and eat a foot sandwich so that I do not make mistakes like this in the future.

Thanks!


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## Zowie (Sep 21, 2010)

BigChaz said:


> Any ladies out there who are offended by what he said, I would really enjoy it if you could post here and elaborate on why it is offensive. I would love to be proven wrong and eat a foot sandwich so that I do not make mistakes like this in the future.
> 
> Thanks!



Nah, I wasn't offended, but I see the logic behind it. Saying "I like big women only" is fine. "Saying I like big women, I am not attracted to small women" is fine. "Saying I like big women, but smaller women are unnattractive", without stating an opinion can be taken as offensive. 

For example, I like blondes, dark-haired people look dirty. That's a jab at dark haired people.


Oh, and this is exactly why people were happy with this thread. It's what happens, "Who do you like better, me or her?" 

ANYWAY. We're all beautiful.


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## Dromond (Sep 21, 2010)

BigChaz said:


> He was not being disrespectful and you are going way overboard on this whole white knight thing. I sincerely doubt he truly is afraid of cutting himself on a woman because she is thin.



How it works around here is, if a person says something that offends a large amount of people they dogpile him. Since this gentleman wasn't dogpiled, I can only take that as a sign that most weren't offended.


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## Esther (Sep 22, 2010)

BigChaz said:


> Any ladies out there who are offended by what he said, I would really enjoy it if you could post here and elaborate on why it is offensive. I would love to be proven wrong and eat a foot sandwich so that I do not make mistakes like this in the future.



I don't particularly care about what he said, but for the record I can see why someone might find it offensive.


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## theronin23 (Sep 22, 2010)

The situation here (and before) seems to be that he was offended FOR someone else. Which is impossible to be, and selfish to boot. Because instead of it being about the person who may (or in this case, may not be) offended, it's about him making a spectacle of himself as a white knight for nobody in particular. If someone says something, and you can't identify with it on any level; but, yet you get up in arms, you've essentially invalidated yourself. (I.E. are you a skinny girl? No? Then getting offended by someone talking about skinny girls is illogical and selfish. And the "I have friends who..." argument is also invalid. If they're offended, they can speak up. They don't need you to.)


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## Ample Pie (Sep 22, 2010)

He put down thin women and it isn't necessary to do that when stating your preference.


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## BigChaz (Sep 22, 2010)

I am just going to drop it after this, but I seriously don't see the offensive part of his post. I have read his post like 50 times and I just can't find a single thing in his post that is putting a woman down.

He jokingly says he might cut himself on a bony woman...how is that offensive? How is that putting someone down? I just don't get it. Maybe if he truly hates bony women for even being alive, then yeah, it's a horrible thing to say...but...he was joking...and...he wasn't serious...

Ah well. I am going to go eat breakfast


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## tekkers (Sep 22, 2010)

for me size does not matter but i have to be attracted to them, for me its the eyes and smile that gets my attraction.

there is a few girls on here i find attractive and they are different sizes


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## FishCharming (Sep 22, 2010)

i like boney women... true story.


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## Sasquatch! (Sep 22, 2010)

I'm so emo I'd do it with skinny women. Then cry myself to sleep.


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Sep 22, 2010)

Sasquatch! said:


> I'm so emo I'd do it with skinny women. Then cry myself to sleep.



I like skinny . . . Men!!!

Take THAT logic.


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## FishCharming (Sep 22, 2010)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> I like skinny . . . Men!!!
> 
> Take THAT logic.



awwwe, there goes my chances...


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## Jaybear420 (Sep 22, 2010)

I just love WOMEN!
Thin, average, thick, big, short, tall.

I just simply worship femininity and women in general.
I don't think that I have ever had a "type"

I suppose if you pressed the topic I would say that I might have a penchant for fair skinned brunettes. However, that's not set in stone.


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## jjvango (Sep 22, 2010)

Ok, since I am new here, and I like making friends, if there was anyone offended by my opinion, I truly apologize. Except for Bob, who needs his pacifier. If I were a stand up comedian (which I do part time, thank you) and said it in a club, would he then demand his money back? Would he heckle me from the front row?? I think not. I love ALL women, it was just a funny thought to put on the end of my subject. Thank you Bob for sucking all the humor out. Oh ps, when I come to your town, PLEASE do not sit in the front row at my show. Thank you.


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## RentonBob (Sep 22, 2010)

jjvango said:


> Ok, since I am new here, and I like making friends, if there was anyone offended by my opinion, I truly apologize. Except for Bob, who needs his pacifier. If I were a stand up comedian (which I do part time, thank you) and said it in a club, would he then demand his money back? Would he heckle me from the front row?? I think not. I love ALL women, it was just a funny thought to put on the end of my subject. Thank you Bob for sucking all the humor out. Oh ps, when I come to your town, PLEASE do not sit in the front row at my show. Thank you.



You couldn't pay me enough to attend your show. And when someone makes a fat joke at your expense. Don't cry to anyone here if that is your type of humor.


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## femaleseat (Sep 22, 2010)

jjvango said:


> Ok, since I am new here, and I like making friends, if there was anyone offended by my opinion, I truly apologize. Except for Bob, who needs his pacifier. If I were a stand up comedian (which I do part time, thank you) and said it in a club, would he then demand his money back? Would he heckle me from the front row?? I think not. I love ALL women, it was just a funny thought to put on the end of my subject. Thank you Bob for sucking all the humor out. Oh ps, when I come to your town, PLEASE do not sit in the front row at my show. Thank you.



who whoa whoa.........first off IM SORRY for posting this question....i asked earlier if there was a way to remove it but noone answered me....

insulting my freind is def not the way to make freinds....lol
U ROCK BOB!


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## RentonBob (Sep 22, 2010)

femaleseat said:


> who whoa whoa.........first off IM SORRY for posting this question....i asked earlier if there was a way to remove it but noone answered me....
> 
> insulting my freind is def not the way to make freinds....lol
> U ROCK BOB!



You're pretty awesome too!


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## Paquito (Sep 22, 2010)

Diversion. diversion diversion diversion...

Who wants to see me breakdance on crutches?


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## Dromond (Sep 22, 2010)

Wouldn't that be a brokedance?


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## Ample Pie (Sep 22, 2010)

the whole "woman so thin she'd cut you" is as played as any fat joke I've ever heard--and being a pretty effing fat girl, you can bet I've heard a lot.

If that's how you write your stand-up, yikes, I'm really sorry.

If you can't see how talking smack about someone (or even a group of someones) for their body shape is a put down, then I'm really sorry for your spawn.

Etc etc etc


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## CastingPearls (Sep 22, 2010)

femaleseat said:


> who whoa whoa.........first off IM SORRY for posting this question....i asked earlier if there was a way to remove it but noone answered me....
> 
> insulting my freind is def not the way to make freinds....lol
> U ROCK BOB!


Don't worry about it Femaleseat--it's just these kinds of threads, even when they're meant well, tend to explode. I got nothing but love for ya, sweetie.

Can we all just agree to disagree and stop the hostility? Wasn't so-and-so spanked enough? GOD, YOU SUCKERS GOT ME ALL PREACHY! <off to wash the self-righteous off>


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## TheMildlyStrangeone (Sep 22, 2010)

internet. Serious business.


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Sep 22, 2010)

Dromond said:


> Wouldn't that be a brokedance?



Hahaha, that was awesome.


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## Amandy (Sep 22, 2010)

I wouldn't say I'm thick skinned, and I'm wondering how any thin woman could be seriously offended here. Yeah, it's SO hard to be thin in our culture. Boo fucking hoo. Honestly, if you're offended by some random stranger's post making a dumb joke (and it was dumb because it's unoriginal, not offensive) about those of us with thin privilege (go read Kate Harding), I can't imagine how you'd get through something actually traumatic in life. 

Anyone who says thin teasing is exactly the same as fat teasing is fooling themselves. Fat ridicule is more pervasive, cruel and discriminatory. Period. No comparison.


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## Goreki (Sep 22, 2010)

Thin girls are beautiful, fat girls are beautiful, in between girls are beautiful.

It's not cool to be nasty about anyone's body, period. The same range of problems crop up for everyone, no matter what thier body is like.
Everybody has body envy at some point in time. Everybody has something they hate, something they want to hide, and something they long for.

On the whole, as a community about size acceptance, I think we should be a little more aware of the language we use to describe a person's body, no matter what it looks like. 
Saying something derogatry as a throw away line and then being incredulous when people call you on it seems a little strange too.

Ladies and gentlemen, my piece being said, I am done.


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## Ample Pie (Sep 23, 2010)

Amandy said:


> I wouldn't say I'm thick skinned, and I'm wondering how any thin woman could be seriously offended here. Yeah, it's SO hard to be thin in our culture. Boo fucking hoo. Honestly, if you're offended by some random stranger's post making a dumb joke (and it was dumb because it's unoriginal, not offensive) about those of us with thin privilege (go read Kate Harding), I can't imagine how you'd get through something actually traumatic in life.
> 
> Anyone who says thin teasing is exactly the same as fat teasing is fooling themselves. Fat ridicule is more pervasive, cruel and discriminatory. Period. No comparison.


I never said it was the same thing. Der.

I said that joke is as PLAYED as any fat joke I'd heard.

But I'm really glad you're here to help me to understand what does and doesn't or might and might not or should and should not hurt other people.

Didn't realize YOU were the gage. Glad to know that now.


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## Ample Pie (Sep 23, 2010)

Goreki said:


> Thin girls are beautiful, fat girls are beautiful, in between girls are beautiful.
> 
> It's not cool to be nasty about anyone's body, period. The same range of problems crop up for everyone, no matter what thier body is like.
> Everybody has body envy at some point in time. Everybody has something they hate, something they want to hide, and something they long for.
> ...



Exactly. Well put.


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## Fox (Sep 23, 2010)

I think this might not be the right place to find someone who prefers skinny people to fat people.


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## Esther (Sep 23, 2010)

Fox said:


> I think this might not be the right place to find someone who prefers skinny people to fat people.



...the guys on the BHM board like all kinds of women.


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## Fox (Sep 23, 2010)

Esther said:


> ...the guys on the BHM board like all kinds of women.



Oh. This is the BHM board?? ROFL pardon my obliviousness.


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## Zowie (Sep 23, 2010)

Fox said:


> Oh. This is the BHM board?? ROFL pardon my obliviousness.



...Smoooooooth.


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## FishCharming (Sep 23, 2010)

Goreki said:


> Thin girls are beautiful, fat girls are beautiful, in between girls are beautiful.
> 
> It's not cool to be nasty about anyone's body, period. The same range of problems crop up for everyone, no matter what thier body is like.
> Everybody has body envy at some point in time. Everybody has something they hate, something they want to hide, and something they long for.
> ...



i totally have body envy. to be more specific i want rabbit's body... in my closet... putting the lotion on her skins...


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## Goreki (Sep 23, 2010)

FishCharming said:


> i totally have body envy. to be more specific i want rabbit's body... in my closet... putting the lotion on her skins...


rofl
You are not allowed to say things like that when I am out of rep!


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## FishCharming (Sep 23, 2010)

Goreki said:


> rofl
> You are not allowed to say things like that when I am out of rep!



no worries, i also accept offerings of cash, burnings in effigy and human sacrifice


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## Melian (Sep 23, 2010)

jjvango said:


> BBW's!!!!!! Love them curves!!!! A guy could cut himself on one of those sharp, bony, skinny gals!!!



Ah....it gets more fantastic every time someone says this.



BigChaz said:


> I am just going to drop it after this, but I seriously don't see the offensive part of his post. I have read his post like 50 times and I just can't find a single thing in his post that is putting a woman down.
> 
> He jokingly says he might cut himself on a bony woman...how is that offensive? How is that putting someone down? I just don't get it. Maybe if he truly hates bony women for even being alive, then yeah, it's a horrible thing to say...but...he was joking...and...he wasn't serious...
> 
> Ah well. I am going to go eat breakfast



It's not offensive....just stupid. You sit back and groan everytime you read it, like a terrible pun.



Rebecca said:


> the whole "woman so thin she'd cut you" is as played as any fat joke I've ever heard--and being a pretty effing fat girl, you can bet I've heard a lot.



Yep.


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## mischel (Sep 23, 2010)

Melian said:


> Ah....it gets more fantastic every time someone says this.
> 
> It's not offensive....just stupid. You sit back and groan everytime you read it, like a terrible pun.
> 
> Yep.



Maybe it is time to repost my epic picture of a "No fat FFAs"-sign.
It cant cause as much offensive-ness like BigChaz opinion or jjvango's post, but i'm still trying to get better!

Love your bones, Melian :kiss2:.

To all BBW-FFA lovers: DONT DO DRUGS!
You will confound your partner for a KFC chicken wing!


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## Melian (Sep 23, 2010)

mischel said:


> Maybe it is time to repost my epic picture of a "No fat FFAs"-sign.
> It cant cause as much offensive-ness like BigChaz opinion or jjvango's post, but i'm still trying to get better!
> 
> Love your bones, Melian :kiss2:.
> ...



You may not be the most offensive, but you win the nonsense competition.....in my heart 

Hehe.


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## Amandy (Sep 23, 2010)

The best remedy for the offended-for-everyone victim mentality is to volunteer to help people less fortunate that you - you know, people with real problems. It's cheaper than therapy and you'll avoid the desire to sound like a whiny baby.


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## theronin23 (Sep 23, 2010)

Amandy said:


> The best remedy for the offended-for-everyone victim mentality is to volunteer to help people less fortunate that you - you know, people with real problems.



Or a shotgun with a toe attachment.


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## GentleSavage (Sep 24, 2010)

I don't discriminate, but usually what catches my eye is a larger girl. I've certainly been attracted to skinny, large, and everything in between tho...

However, usually I fall into the trap of only liking girls who like me, but that never really happens. So w/e...


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## Snoopey (Sep 25, 2010)

Ah I'm totally into fat girls, mmm nomnomnom


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## jjvango (Sep 25, 2010)

Ok, one more time, damage control. I do not hate skinny girls. I do not dislike skinny girls. I was not trying to put anyone down or hurt feelings. I was trying to inject some humor here. I apologize if my humor came off as hurtful, negative, or just dumb or "played". I was trying to inject a lil bit of funny into a subject that could turn too serious too quickly. My apologies. I'll try to be more aware of my audience here next time.


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## jjvango (Sep 25, 2010)

P.S. I'm even sorry to Bob. I hate making enemies.


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## theronin23 (Sep 25, 2010)

Shit! You pussed out! Respect meter just went down. Not even that I agree with your original opinion (anymore)...I've just seen this fucking song and dance before.


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## Zowie (Sep 25, 2010)

theronin23 said:


> Shit! You pussed out! Respect meter just went down. Not even that I agree with your original opinion (anymore)...I've just seen this fucking song and dance before.



Shhh you. Back in your closet. 

And no problem, Jjvango. Shit happens.


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## Ample Pie (Sep 25, 2010)

bionic_eggplant said:


> Shhh you. Back in your closet.
> 
> And no problem, Jjvango. Shit happens.



This.

Again, for the record, I wasn't offended by the original post: I mean, it didn't exactly make me want to storm the towers. I wasn't saying I was personally offended, just saying that the comment was a put-down, no matter how you look at it. Less an emotional response and more a plain old observation.

*shrug*

However, I was kind of offended when the comment was called comedy; that's a complete and total affront to comedy.


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Sep 25, 2010)

Rebecca said:


> This.
> 
> Again, for the record, I wasn't offended by the original post: I mean, it didn't exactly make me want to storm the towers. I wasn't saying I was personally offended, just saying that the comment was a put-down, no matter how you look at it. Less an emotional response and more a plain old observation.
> 
> ...



Hahahaha. Awesome.


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## FishCharming (Sep 25, 2010)

whatever, i only like abstract women.


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## DemonsDanceAlone (Sep 26, 2010)

Beautiful is beautiful. I like both bigger and thin gals. I will admit that I get a certain rush being close to a thin girl...I'm guessing it has to do with the contrast in our sizes.


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## silencedogood (Sep 26, 2010)

Both. I definitely have a bit of a chubby fetish, though being admired... well you cant beat that.


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## jwill34 (Oct 14, 2010)

I like bigger girls, but its overall hotness and personality that matters! If we can't have a good time together it doesn't matter.


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## theronin23 (Oct 14, 2010)

Oh dear gosh. Can we BURY this one already. PLEASE. Blue, can we PLEASE get this one locked?


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## BLUEeyedBanshee (Oct 14, 2010)

It could be locked...it could be buried. I'm actually thinking about going through and merging them all together. That way if a new one pops up I can just add it to the one which already exists...

Hey that sounds like a grand idea, no more thinking I'm going about doing.

See ya'll in a little while.


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## ManBeef (Oct 14, 2010)

Flub love... thinnies too


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## Famouslastwords (Oct 20, 2010)

I had to go back five pages to see why I was subscribed to this thread, and then I see it's because GEF was cheating on me with WHR and then he volunteered to do us in the eye? WTF.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 24, 2010)

Famouslastwords said:


> I had to go back five pages to see why I was subscribed to this thread, and then I see it's because GEF was cheating on me with WHR and then he volunteered to do us in the eye? WTF.



Stop pretending you didn't enjoy it......


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## ManBeef (Oct 25, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Stop pretending you didn't enjoy it......



+Watches from an anonymous bush+


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## Wanderer (Oct 25, 2010)

Rebecca said:


> the whole "woman so thin she'd cut you" is as played as any fat joke I've ever heard--and being a pretty effing fat girl, you can bet I've heard a lot.
> 
> If that's how you write your stand-up, yikes, I'm really sorry.
> 
> ...



Tell me about it. MY standup tended to the self-deprecating -- much better than the one newbie at the improv club who tried to make an AIDS joke.

Anyway, I'm not sure if I've been in this thread before (late night postings will do that) and not willing to go all the way back through it, so...

Personally, I find all women to be beautiful. Admittedly, self-confidence helps... though I must admit to watching _10th Kingdom_, seeing Camryn Mannheim as Snow White and... (pleasurable shudder)... ooooohh... there's just something about a big, buxom beauty in a bodice... 

(Of course, I'm also pretty sure I'd enjoy bondage... but that's open to experimentation.)


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