# Ruminations on weight, FAs, bellies, bicycles, and unicorns.



## elle camino (Nov 10, 2006)

Ok not really bicycles and unicorns, but wouldn't it be great if there were some in here? I'll get around to that some other time. On to the point. 

Reading this thread got me thinking about my own (admittedly brief) tenure at dimensions. Specifically, my experience thus far with FAs. Before I found this place, I had a vague notion that there _must_ be mentypes (and womantypes, but in my particular case, of course, it was men who were the subject of the notion) who actually preferred larger women, found fat sexy, etc etc etc. But I had never met one, _certainly_ never dated one, and really had no concrete evidence that they actually did exist. 

Until, of course, I stumbled upon these forums. Like I can assume a lot of the other girls here can understand, the abundance of guys here who appreciate fat women was a massive revelation, and an incredibly happy thing for me to finally actually see with my own eyes. And not only were there tons of lovely FAs, there were equally as many kickass, foxy fat women to gab with and all that. Altogether a wonderful experience, for which I endlessly thank Conrad and everyone else here who makes this place tick. 

However, the longer Ive stuck around and really observed the FA population of this board, the more disillusioned Ive become with the whole thing. Before I came here, I had a much more simplistic view of the whole size issue. Id never considered the different shapes fat women came in, rather just separated people into two general categories: fat, and not fat. In much the same way as Id never heard the term FA, or SSBBW, etc, before I came here, Id also never considered the difference between, for example, an apple shaped woman and a pear shaped one, or the myriad of different ways and locations in which different women can carry their weight. Learning about all this was pretty fun at first, and I must admit the paysite board was a helpful resource (ahem) during this process (thanks ladies!). But once Id gotten the concepts solidified in the old noggin, I started noticing something kind of disheartening: it appears that, even in a community full of men who ostensibly love fat women, there exists a line in the sands of acceptable fatness, so to speak. 

It really seems to me as an observer that in order to be considered an attractive example of a fat woman; one must have the whole pear/hourglass/huge thighs/huge butt thing going on. Not to say that I havent seen evidence here and there of FAs who enjoy bellies or other fat body parts, but it always seems to be in conjunction with the whole generously-proportioned lower body, i.e. I sure do love a nice belly, as long as its perched on a pair of huge thighs, and adjacent to a wicked huge ass. 
Now dont get me wrong, I absolutely understand the attraction. Thighs and butts and legs are rad, hands down, and even more rad when theres a lot of them to look at. And anthropologically speaking, I understand the male propensity towards the whole ample-hipped female silhouette. But where does this leave us fat girls with little to no bottom-weight to speak of? Due to a cruel twist of genetics, regardless of how much my weight fluctuates (up or down), I will always be built the same way: disproportionately big belly, comparatively small everything else. Im sure there are other girls here in the same situation, and Im wondering if any of you have felt the way I do about the FA community as youve observed it thus far, in your lives. Because at this point, Im feeling a little despondent about the whole thing. Kinda like: in the real world, youre just too fat, period. In the magical land of FAs (online or otherwise), youre fat enough, but OOPS! Not fat in the right places. 

So yes, I guess the point of this (beyond just getting it off my chest), is to see if any of the women here feel similarly, or have in the past. And since I realize that Im still a relative n00b in this community and others like it, I suppose Im also wondering whether I should expect this notion to be perpetually reinforced, or if Ill eventually see that there really is room for girls who dont fit the hourglass ideal. Also Im pretty sure this is the most longwinded post I will ever make, so I understand if its a tl;dr situation for most of you. 
Anyways, discuss. 
This or any other topic, I suppose (I suggest the true meaning of polka ).


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## Ample Pie (Nov 10, 2006)

I often feel similarly and I've noticed that, as with the general population, a lot of FA's concentrate their attention really heavily on the bosom. Of course that's fine, but again for women, like me, who have big bellies and relatively small everything else, it can feel...sort of segregating. As in any social situation, though, I just try not to let the standards of others really affect how I feel. I try to live up to and adjust to my own. It isn't always easy and sometimes I feel like I'm not the 'right' kind of fat girl. I sympathize, Elle.


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## Smushygirl (Nov 10, 2006)

I am new around here and have been luking for about a month. 

I just have to say, Elle, that I agree with you about being an "apple" type. (Although I prefer to be a peach, you know, sweet, ripe, juicy:eat2. The dating site I chose to be on for big women has guys that have names like, "MilkloverDD", "LuvPears", etc. It certainly has made me feel as though I am not even the right kind of fat girl.

The guys on this forum seem to like all kinds of shapes though. Glad I came here.


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## mossystate (Nov 10, 2006)

I hear you on this one.I have no problem with people liking what they like, for I have my own prefernces, but it does seem that the language used by so many FA's is very "she is better than that other woman".I like that people are so vocal about what they are attracted to, but sometimes it does feel like fat women are the ones to be on display(and not the men who like them)..and...the display should be the 'appropriate' fat women....eh....oh well...but..yeah...I am becoming more disillusioned.I sometimes feel that I do not fit in....anywhere.


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## Jack Skellington (Nov 10, 2006)

I think you are reading too much into it. 

From what I seen at dims, there are no rules to what people find attractive. One day they will rave about bellies and the next it will be large arms. From what I've observed, people seem to generally go ga-ga over apple and pear shapes and people who like hour glass figures (like myself) honestly seem to be in the minority. 

Plus don't forget, just because somebody says the shape they like is the best, doesn't make it so. People generally say what they like best (sports teams, music, body types whatever) is the best. It's just part of human nature.


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## mossystate (Nov 10, 2006)

Jack, only speaking for myself, I am not reading too much into 'it'.I know what I experience, even though I know what you are saying.I have had so many conversations with FA's out here who, when learning I do not have an ass, and not huge breasts, give me one of these.."oh..well..ummmmm..that's.........ok"....lol...trust me...I know.


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## Jack Skellington (Nov 10, 2006)

mossystate said:


> I know what I experience, even though I know what you are saying.



I am not discounting or trying to discredit anyone's personal experiences. 

But one person's experiences (yours, mine, anyones) isn't a valid judge of the entire scope what people may or may not find attractive within an entire group. My point is, when you look at an overview of the entire culture of Dims and the wide variety of things people find attractive, I think you will see that the rule is, there really are no rules. 

After being at Dims for a while I was absolutely astounded (and honestly sometimes a little creeped out) by the wide variety of things people find attractive.


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## mossystate (Nov 10, 2006)

Honey-bunches, I am not saying this is about the whole 'group'..just that it is SO prevalent..that's all..and being a woman out here tends to be a unique experience...NOT saying that there are no men who feel out in the cold...etc..etc..anyhoo..just yappin


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Nov 10, 2006)

Everyone has different tastes, but I myself am primarily belly driven. I don't care much about anything else except as indicators of general fatness.

I also think this is where the "fetishists" and feeders come in. There are some people attracted to others with a certain type of body proportions, and there are some who are sexually attracted to the _idea_ of fat. (an important psychological distinction). Even if I am one of the former, I'm still mostly the latter.


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## MisticalMisty (Nov 10, 2006)

There have been times..and the only times I really cause a rukus on the weight board..when guys will post a thread about which body type is best. It gets somewhat disheartening when a majority of the guys posting are posting that they like fat bottom girls. I detest those post because I'm always worried about that young girl..whose lurking and trying to understand the whole community and they see posts from guys that label one body type better than that other.

Granted, I understand people have their preferences..but there is a difference between stating your preference and saying something is better than something else.

I think sometimes that posting a full body pic in your profile will draw the people you want to you. When I do get messages, I most often get them from belly guys..because..let's face it..my belly is freaking HOT. 

I don't really know where I'm going with all of this..except to just hang around..stick out your belly and be proud


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## babyjeep21 (Nov 10, 2006)

Rebecca said:


> I often feel similarly and I've noticed that, as with the general population, a lot of FA's concentrate their attention really heavily on the bosom. Of course that's fine, but again for women, like me, who have big bellies and relatively small everything else, it can feel...sort of segregating. As in any social situation, though, I just try not to let the standards of others really affect how I feel. I try to live up to and adjust to my own. It isn't always easy and sometimes I feel like I'm not the 'right' kind of fat girl. I sympathize, Elle.



I think so many of us feel this in one way or another... I know I do. I hear of men who are quite into big breasts, but I'll be the first to tell you that I don't think I've really encountered any. I am pretty much a large hourglass shape. Overblessed up top, with some hips, some tummy and a virtually non-existent ass. Yet, I *always* get the ass men. I have absolutely no idea why.

Obviously there is something about me that makes up for my lacking posterior, so I'm more than okay with attracting men who love a big booty. I like that I'm still desireable, even if I don't have what they normally prefer. However, I won't deny there are times when I wish I could have just a little more back there, since I am clearly not built like what some might consider the "standard" fat girl.


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Nov 10, 2006)

Not to be a nitpick, but hourglass is big wide butt and breasts with a small tummy. >.>


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## babyjeep21 (Nov 10, 2006)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> Not to be a nitpick, but hourglass is big wide butt and breasts with a small tummy. >.>




Yes... this I know. But let's look at it this way. My bust and hip measurements are identical. My waist is smaller than both. So, does the fact that I have a don't have a big round butt keep me from being an hourglass? I don't really think so.


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## elle camino (Nov 10, 2006)

first off, thanks so much for the responses, folks. when i woke up this morning (after posting this thread very, very late last night) i fully expected it to have sunk like a stone, or for there to just be a couple of posts all in the same 'relax, elle' vein. it really is comforting to know that i'm not alone in feeling this way, whether it's entirely the right way to feel or not. 

jack, i agree with you that sometimes there are glimmers of hope on this for us notpears, and that overall it's best to not trip over what we cannot change (namely, the personal preferences of other people). i guess my post was more about the shock of realizing that even though this is a community of people who love fat, there really seems to be a generally-more-desirable way to be fat, in the eyes of most of the vocal FAs i've encountered. 
i'll crib these passages from a PM conversation i'm currently having, in regards to this thread: 


> one time, while talking to a (male) member of this board on yahoo, it was actually suggested to me that i try 'lipografting', in order to become the kind of BBW that FAs prefer. in case youre not familiar, lipografting is a procedure where small smounts of fat are redeposited on the body, surgically. like say taking a little fat out of your ass and moving it to your rack, i guess.
> after explaining to this guy the differences between the actual world and online feeder erotic fanfiction stories, and how taking all 100 pounds out of my belly and redepositing them in my ass wasn't medically possible in the least, here's what i got:
> 'well i guess you're always going to be an apple, then'.
> *________ has signed off*.





> in retrospect i think my expectations for this community might just have been too much to ask. i really did expect some kind of fatgirl-xanadu, where all fat was sexy, regardless of where it was, how it got there, or if the owner had immediate plans to make more. the process of climbing back down off that particular cloud and recalibrating my expectations of the FA community is a shitty one, and i guess that thread was a part of that, for me.


i think that sums up what i'm trying to say pretty adequately.


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Nov 10, 2006)

In my general experience amongst the pawg forums, younger and/or more fetishy FAs tend to be attracted to the apple type more than the pear.


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## mossystate (Nov 10, 2006)

Elle, I have had two men here at Dims tell me to get plastic surgery to fix my 'problem' areas.Two men does not mean a community, but when you add all the other more casual comments, you start to develop a complex..and yet..I still know we all have our preferences...waaaaaaaa..*L*

I also tend to check the paysite forum, just to see what men say about certain women.When I see a pattern of not just attraction, but outright vocalizing that this woman..or that woman..are the IDEAL woman..I tend to not even want to ever speak to those men.Sometimes it is just a matter of tact, and when a person says someone is the 'best'..eh..do they really think other women want to then show them what they have to offer? If I say that I like men with a full head of hair(does not matter to me), that is a lil different than me saying..."men with a full head of hair are the best".Kirstie Allie/Alley/Ally?? said in People magazine that "fat is just not attractive".It is not what she likes, but does not make it so.Eh, I am jsut rambling, because this is getting me down, and I need to go and say nice things to my belly!!!


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## elle camino (Nov 10, 2006)

mossystate said:


> Elle, I have had two men here at Dims tell me to get plastic surgery to fix my 'problem' areas.Two men does not mean a community, but when you add all the other more casual comments, you start to develop a complex..and yet..I still know we all have our preferences...waaaaaaaa..*L*
> 
> I also tend to check the paysite forum, just to see what men say about certain women.When I see a pattern of not just attraction, but outright vocalizing that this woman..or that woman..are the IDEAL woman..I tend to not even want to ever speak to those men.Sometimes it is just a matter of tact, and when a person says someone is the 'best'..eh..do they really think other women want to then show them what they have to offer? If I say that I like men with a full head of hair(does not matter to me), that is a lil different than me saying..."men with a full head of hair are the best".



agreed agreed agreed agreed and agreed, lady. 
i too realize that a few jerks do not represent FAs as a whole, but it _is_ pretty shitty to keep hearing the same thing over and over, about which body type is 'best'. 
bleh. 
rep forthcoming. 
<3


edited to add:


Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> In my general experience amongst the pawg forums, younger and/or more fetishy FAs tend to be attracted to the apple type more than the pear.


crap.


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## Jack Skellington (Nov 10, 2006)

elle camino said:


> one time, while talking to a (male) member of this board on yahoo, it was actually suggested to me that i try 'lipografting', in order to become the kind of BBW that FAs prefer.



First of all, like I mentioned earlier and no matter what that guy said, there is no one type FA males prefer. Secondly for him to even suggest such a thing to you makes him an asshole first and an FA second.


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## elle camino (Nov 10, 2006)

Jack Skellington said:


> First of all, like I mentioned earlier and no matter what that guy said, there is no one type FA males prefer.


this is very nice to hear, and will be even nicer to (hopefully) eventually see evidence of. thanks jack. 


Jack Skellington said:


> Secondly for him to even suggest such a thing to you makes him an asshole first and an FA second.


this i realize.


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## LoveBHMS (Nov 10, 2006)

any man who makes a helpful suggestion to a woman about how she can surgically alter herself so that she will better fit his ideal should be summarily dismissed from said woman's orbit. 

Or told "Hey, there's this new surgical procedure where they can actually take a needle and inject fat into your penis to make it thicker. Which you really should do since a narrow one won't satisfy me, like, at _all._"

No woman needs a man's help in deciding how to look better. But thank you, assholes, we have some nice parting gifts for you.


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## ripley (Nov 10, 2006)

This sort of thing bothered me too for awhile, Elle. But even more so was a trend/vibe/feeling I got/whatever that most men, while thinking that SS girls were sexy, preferred to date "midsize" bbws in real life. That disillusioned me and saddened me greatly. Online it's often "bigger, bigger, bigger, please!" but in real life, it's "give me a smaller bbw, okay?"

When I first found Dims I was amazed that there were so many guys that liked fat women. It was hard to realize that a lot of them only went so far as to like to look at fat women (for sexual self-gratification), and of those, most wanted the fat girls they were looking at to be "perfect" like the well-known paysite models. It wasn't even "I like fat asses" or "I love bellies"....it was "an ass like _______'s" and "a belly like _______'s." 

I'm just a run of the mill fat girl. I can't compete with a Sport's Illustrated swimsuit model, nor a fat paysite one.


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## elle camino (Nov 10, 2006)

sucks for us, huh rip. 
let's go find the real xanadu.


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## ripley (Nov 10, 2006)

elle camino said:


> sucks for us, huh rip.
> let's go find the real xanadu.


A stately pleasure dome? You're on!!


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## Jack Skellington (Nov 10, 2006)

ripley said:


> It wasn't even "I like fat asses" or "I love bellies"....it was "an ass like _______'s" and "a belly like _______'s."



You have to take into consideration that when men say stuff like that is just "shop talk" to them. No different than a guy who likes thin to average women saying I want a women with lips like whatever actress or legs like some other actress. It's fantasy talk or to put it harshly, they are just talking out of their asses. 

It doesn't mean they wouldn't be out of their mind happy to date that "average" women they might actually have something in common with. 

And to be fair to men, women of course do this to. Like when women fawn over Keith Ledger or Brad Pitt. It's just fantasy.


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## Totmacher (Nov 10, 2006)

I've got the distinct impression that immature, shallow, and inconsiderate guys are as well represented here as anywhere else. It's all part of some elaborate plot to get girls not to trust me, I tell ya.


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## Jack Skellington (Nov 10, 2006)

Yes of course there really are people who are just shallow jerks. Check out the discussion in the "What's it like to have sex with a small *ya know* naughty bit??" for some examples some female shallowness. 

But fantasy and big talk aside, I don't think most men (or women) are deep down that immature and shallow.


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## Fuzzy (Nov 10, 2006)

Fat girls aren't automatically perfect??


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## Fuzzy (Nov 10, 2006)

I've been thinking back, trying to remember when I considered myself an FA, and really it wasn't until I knew there was a name for it.. however, I have memories of discovering pre-internet fat p0rn. 

And liking it.


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## elle camino (Nov 10, 2006)

i guess my one remaining point is that maybe, when posting here and interacting with the female population of this board, it might behoove the common FA to consider what kind of environment the average fat woman lives in, off the internet. sure there may be a few of us who live in some crazy wonderland where everyone digs the chub, but for the vast majority of us, this is about the only place we can find where we're not the undesirable friend of the skinny girl (so to speak). so if we come here and constantly see the virtues of one specific body type constantly extolled, and it's never really ours, it's like...what's the difference between here and your average bar full of dudes who like skinny girls, for us? 
that's it. 

and jack, i agree with you on the whole 'women can be just as shallow as men' thing, and with the example you gave to back it up. for the record.


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## mossystate (Nov 11, 2006)

Elle...yes..yes...yes!!!

To the men who use such words as.."She is the ideal".."the tops"...etc....you don't have to stop..of course not...but maybe at least understand how it affects the other women out here....or not....whatever.


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## Ample Pie (Nov 11, 2006)

It doesn't bother me when people say "she is the tops" or "he is ideal." Probably because I know ideals are just opinion based. I just feel sometimes like I'm a 2nd class fatty.


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## Jack Skellington (Nov 11, 2006)

elle camino said:


> i guess my one remaining point is that maybe, when posting here and interacting with the female population of this board, it might behoove the common FA to consider what kind of environment the average fat woman lives in, off the internet.



No argument on that. I've definitely seen some cringe worthy posts where people could have used a lot more tact.


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## Jack Skellington (Nov 11, 2006)

mossystate said:


> To the men who use such words as.."She is the ideal".."the tops"...etc....you don't have to stop..of course not...but maybe at least understand how it affects the other women out here....or not....whatever.



Like I explained, that's just some men's cute little knuckle dragging way of saying this or that woman is their fantasy ideal. Yes, I agree there are people that could certainly word a lot of stuff better. But try not to take it seriously or let it get you down. Because, they are just talking out of their butts.


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## love dubh (Nov 11, 2006)

Psh. _Everyone_ knows that road bikes are the ideal.


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## ripley (Nov 11, 2006)

Is it just me, or is that bike supposed to be spoke free?


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 11, 2006)

I like some points made here. I have felt that my apple shape just isnt feminine enough or something.... however, I have also felt, at times, that I am not "big enough" here , just as I have felt way too fat out in reality. 
I can let this affect me profoundly or choose to look at myself as a whole - and not just my body type. I loved that post by LOVESBHMS- she echoed my thoughts after readings the posts previous to hers. Men are men- there is no magic about a guy being an "FA". That's the impression I get here sometimes, that since these guys like bigger women, that the ladies expect there to automatically be something special about them. To me they are just men. Exactly like the ones that like smaller women. Some can be assholes to the core and some can be princes in disguise, but they are all definitely human and fallible (just like us women). You just have to be patient and hope you're talking to one of the good ones.


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## supersoup (Nov 11, 2006)

elle camino said:


> i guess my one remaining point is that maybe, when posting here and interacting with the female population of this board, it might behoove the common FA to consider what kind of environment the average fat woman lives in, off the internet. sure there may be a few of us who live in some crazy wonderland where everyone digs the chub, but for the vast majority of us, this is about the only place we can find where we're not the undesirable friend of the skinny girl (so to speak). so if we come here and constantly see the virtues of one specific body type constantly extolled, and it's never really ours, it's like...what's the difference between here and your average bar full of dudes who like skinny girls, for us?
> that's it.


that is more or less the way i feel about things. i am definitely not living in the land of the chub lovers, that's for sure!! and i too have only recently become aware of all the aspects of the size acceptance community, but reading some posts, i'm forced to think the same thing...i'm just never going to have/be/possess the desirable trait. and thank you for the 'bar full of dudes who like skinny girls' comment, because that's how i feel all the time!


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## mossystate (Nov 11, 2006)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I like some points made here. I have felt that my apple shape just isnt feminine enough or something.... however, I have also felt, at times, that I am not "big enough" here , just as I have felt way too fat out in reality.
> I can let this affect me profoundly or choose to look at myself as a whole - and not just my body type. I loved that post by LOVESBHMS- she echoed my thoughts after readings the posts previous to hers. Men are men- there is no magic about a guy being an "FA". That's the impression I get here sometimes, that since these guys like bigger women, that the ladies expect there to automatically be something special about them. To me they are just men. Exactly like the ones that like smaller women. Some can be assholes to the core and some can be princes in disguise, but they are all definitely human and fallible (just like us women). You just have to be patient and hope you're talking to one of the good ones.


 I agree that 'FA's' are the same as all men..some good..some bad..etc(like all people).I guess I do not care for those who babble on about how great 'fat women' are and how we have been so maligned for so long..and..then..KAPOW!..lol . I am MUCH more appreciative of men out here who state right up front what they like.I think some points are not being understood.


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Nov 11, 2006)

ripley said:


> This sort of thing bothered me too for awhile, Elle. But even more so was a trend/vibe/feeling I got/whatever that most men, while thinking that SS girls were sexy, preferred to date "midsize" bbws in real life. That disillusioned me and saddened me greatly. Online it's often "bigger, bigger, bigger, please!" but in real life, it's "give me a smaller bbw, okay?"
> 
> When I first found Dims I was amazed that there were so many guys that liked fat women. It was hard to realize that a lot of them only went so far as to like to look at fat women (for sexual self-gratification), and of those, most wanted the fat girls they were looking at to be "perfect" like the well-known paysite models. It wasn't even "I like fat asses" or "I love bellies"....it was "an ass like _______'s" and "a belly like _______'s."
> 
> I'm just a run of the mill fat girl. I can't compete with a Sport's Illustrated swimsuit model, nor a fat paysite one.



That's not me, the "smaller in real life" thing. However, I find certain behavioral things more important than physical appearance, like big appetite, belly-rubbing, gaining, etc. 

I have a platonic ideal image for a girl, but odds are, if she's fat and she's got any belly at all I'll be gawking like an idiot.


Also, I think (no offense) paysite models are no more attractive than the average plus pounds girl. The thing that makes them desired is the fact that they are willing to display their bodies in sexy poses and revealing clothing.


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## love dubh (Nov 11, 2006)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> That's not me, the "smaller in real life" thing. However, I find certain behavioral things more important than physical appearance, like big appetite, belly-rubbing, gaining, etc.
> 
> I have a platonic ideal image for a girl, but odds are, if she's fat and she's got any belly at all I'll be gawking like an idiot.
> 
> ...



but, ya see, paysite models ARE average girls. They doll themselves up like any other woman would, and everyone looks great under the right camera light and angles. Paysite women aren't superwomen; they're regular women. With really awesometastic Canon supercameras. :]


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 11, 2006)

mossystate said:


> I agree that 'FA's' are the same as all men..some good..some bad..etc(like all people).I guess I do not care for those who babble on about how great 'fat women' are and how we have been so maligned for so long..and..then..KAPOW!..lol . I am MUCH more appreciative of men out here who state right up front what they like.I think some points are not being understood.



I totally agree with you. It's really easy for me to get down on myself and men dont realize how sensitive we are to what they say and their opinions (or do they? ), even if they dont mean to offend anyone. 
I just try not to let it bother me because I have learned that the key to feeling good about myself comes from in me. 

(Even though I do like to hear compliments, just like anyone else  )


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## supersoup (Nov 11, 2006)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> That's not me, the "smaller in real life" thing. However, I find certain behavioral things more important than physical appearance, like big appetite, belly-rubbing, gaining, etc.
> 
> I have a platonic ideal image for a girl, but odds are, if she's fat and she's got any belly at all I'll be gawking like an idiot.
> 
> ...


that's another thing that i sometimes feels 'goes against me' for lack of a better phrase at the moment; i don't know that i fit into any of those you mentioned, and it seems they are so prevalent here for example. gaining: i have no desire to gain anymore, at least not to actively pursue it...i'm sure i will gain more, but i'm comfortable where i'm at--a very big girl who is very very active. i couldn't imagine not being able to do everything i do now. and eating/big appetites: i honestly can't eat that much, and especially not in one sitting, and again, have never had the desire to. and as far as the sexual aspect of being a big girl, i've never explored that side of it, so i can't even really have an opinion on it. i was with a guy for 4 years, and was engaged at one point, but my being big was never the focus of any of our bedroom activities; it wasn't ignored, but i never even had a belly rub or anything if the sort, so that whole area is foreign to me. 'run of the mill fat girl' is the perfect description...that's what i am. like i said earlier, it ties in with the whole never fitting the 'desired trait'.

ah well, such is life.

/stupid ramble.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 11, 2006)

^^Doesnt seem like a stupid ramble to me... in fact, that part about weight not being the focal point of sex is quite important to me. If the man likes me and how I look, then that is the best sexual turn on for me. But I wouldnt like to think that he likes me and wants sex with me "in spite of my weight" anymore than I would want him to want me exclusively for my looks- but couldnt stand me as a person.


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## supersoup (Nov 11, 2006)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> ^^Doesnt seem like a stupid ramble to me... in fact, that part about weight not being the focal point of sex is quite important to me. If the man likes me and how I look, then that is the best sexual turn on for me. But I wouldnt like to think that he likes me and wants sex with me "in spite of my weight" anymore than I would want him to want me exclusively for my looks- but couldnt stand me as a person.


oh no no, anything we did was never in spite of my weight...naturally it was something that was discussed because i thought the same thing; i'm always going to be a big girl, and i didn't want him feeling any way towards me in spite of my weight. he always told me i was beautiful/sexy/etc, but my size was never a focus or anything. it's just how i was when we were together, it was just me!


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## mossystate (Nov 11, 2006)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I totally agree with you. It's really easy for me to get down on myself and men dont realize how sensitive we are to what they say and their opinions (or do they? ), even if they dont mean to offend anyone.
> I just try not to let it bother me because I have learned that the key to feeling good about myself comes from in me.
> 
> (Even though I do like to hear compliments, just like anyone else  )



Don't get me wrong, it is not as if the opinions of men here at Dims make or break my world *s*.I guess to me, when people never think about they say...never...then it says they don't care if they offend.I can be very sarcastic..yes, it's true..heh..but I also know that I possess a large reservoir of tact.

And..let me make it perfectly clear...there are some wonderful men who come here to Dims!!


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Nov 11, 2006)

supersoup said:


> that's another thing that i sometimes feels 'goes against me' for lack of a better phrase at the moment; i don't know that i fit into any of those you mentioned, and it seems they are so prevalent here for example. gaining: i have no desire to gain anymore, at least not to actively pursue it...i'm sure i will gain more, but i'm comfortable where i'm at--a very big girl who is very very active. i couldn't imagine not being able to do everything i do now. and eating/big appetites: i honestly can't eat that much, and especially not in one sitting, and again, have never had the desire to. and as far as the sexual aspect of being a big girl, i've never explored that side of it, so i can't even really have an opinion on it. i was with a guy for 4 years, and was engaged at one point, but my being big was never the focus of any of our bedroom activities; it wasn't ignored, but i never even had a belly rub or anything if the sort, so that whole area is foreign to me. 'run of the mill fat girl' is the perfect description...that's what i am. like i said earlier, it ties in with the whole never fitting the 'desired trait'.
> 
> ah well, such is life.
> 
> /stupid ramble.



I'm sorry. =(


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## supersoup (Nov 11, 2006)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> I'm sorry. =(


no need!! i'm not complaining or anything really, it just seems to be the way it is, that's all!


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Nov 11, 2006)

If it helps, there are some aspects that could be universal. Feeding doesn't need to involve forcing down a large sized pizza and an overflowing cheesesteak. It can be expensive chocolates, one by one gently placed in your mouth, or chocolate-dipped strawberries, tasty chunks of apple dipped in melted cheese or caramel, or kiwi slices dipped in yogurt.

Does that sound good? >.>


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## supersoup (Nov 11, 2006)

never thought of it that way.

and silly boy...expensive chocolates? those ALWAYS sound good!!


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## Santaclear (Nov 11, 2006)

Ripley and Supersoup.....you do not seem at all run-of-the-mill to me! 

And Elle...you're so gorgeous! I wasn't kidding about your arms.

Not that anyone should care what I think. But I don't think there IS an ideal. I've been a cheerleader for some of the paysite girls for a few years now (and many of them ARE amazing and their bodies and looks marvels of design and engineering) but that doesn't take away at ALL from the beauty in "normal" people. :wubu:


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## MisticalMisty (Nov 11, 2006)

you guys are right..the paysite girls are amazingly beautiful and sometimes it can be hard to see them and wonder how you can compete.

However, I believe that no competition is needed. Each and every one of us is just as beautiful as any of those models. Some of us have similar body types, features..etc. While men openly lust or admire after those women, some man, somewhere is lusting or admiring us  

And Supersoup..everyone has their kinks..and while a lot of focus is on feeding and gaining on the weight board..not every FA is into that..

I can't wait for you to get your first belly rub..lol..you'll be SOLD.


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## Gordo Mejor (Nov 11, 2006)

elle camino said:


> Due to a cruel twist of genetics, regardless of how much my weight fluctuates (up or down), I will always be built the same way: disproportionately big belly, comparatively small everything else.



Well d*mn. I love big bellies. Not all FAs want an hourglass figure.


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## mossystate (Nov 11, 2006)

Just for the record, I am not basing any of my comments on the paysite womens!..heh...and...when you think about it...anybody with a camera or knows someone who will photograph them..is a 'model'...yay..I am a model!!!! ...somebody pay me..ummm...ok..send chocolate??


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Nov 11, 2006)

mossystate said:


> Just for the record, I am not basing any of my comments on the paysite womens!..heh...and...when you think about it...anybody with a camera or knows someone who will photograph them..is a 'model'...yay..I am a model!!!! ...somebody pay me..ummm...ok..send chocolate??


Gimme a mailing adress.


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## MisticalMisty (Nov 11, 2006)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> Gimme a mailing adress.


HEY..you didn't ask me for a mailing address






Cries





Pouts





Whines




Waits


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Nov 11, 2006)

Well, that's cuz you didn't ask to be sent chocolate. =p

In all seriousness, if you give me a mailing adress, I'll keep up my end of the bargain. I like sending gifts to people. ^_^


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 11, 2006)

How come the other two got chocolate and.......  

Can I at least get some flowers........ or a big mac....... or.....


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## mossystate (Nov 11, 2006)

GEEEEEZ you two!!!!!...Come up with your own damned beg!!!!!

Now I cannot accept his offer....skanks...heh


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## MisticalMisty (Nov 11, 2006)

Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> Well, that's cuz you didn't ask to be sent chocolate. =p
> 
> In all seriousness, if you give me a mailing adress, I'll keep up my end of the bargain. I like sending gifts to people. ^_^


Cause I don't like chocolate 

what else you got?


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## elle camino (Nov 11, 2006)

i hope you all realize that as the OP i receive a 20% cut of all chocolate incurred within this thread. 

anyways, really, seriously, i'm NOT saying (other people may be, and that's fine, but i'm not) that this is a paysitegirls vs. nonpaysitegirls thing, for me. i am absolutely aware that, like marie mentioned, paysite girls are normal girls, just with paysites. for me it's much more like what rebecca said about feeling like a '2nd class fatty', since i seem to be lacking a few really key parts which all the FAs seem to...A. a lot.


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## NintendoXcore (Nov 11, 2006)

elle camino said:


> i hope you all realize that as the OP i receive a 20% cut of all chocolate incurred within this thread.
> 
> anyways, really, seriously, i'm NOT saying (other people may be, and that's fine, but i'm not) that this is a paysitegirls vs. nonpaysitegirls thing, for me. i am absolutely aware that, like marie mentioned, paysite girls are normal girls, just with paysites. for me it's much more like what rebecca said about feeling like a '2nd class fatty', since i seem to be lacking a few really key parts which all the FAs seem to...A. a lot.



Hey now. I think your gorgeous. End of story. <3


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## elle camino (Nov 11, 2006)

that's nice. 
but also you've never really seen what i look like...so. yeah. just assume it's fat all over, i guess.
whatevs. that will be my general approach to this board from now on. outright deception! boy do i love my huge ass.


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## NintendoXcore (Nov 11, 2006)

elle camino said:


> that's nice.
> but also you've never really seen what i look like...so. yeah. just assume it's fat all over, i guess.
> whatevs. that will be my general approach to this board from now on. outright deception! boy do i love my huge ass.



What about he picture in your profile?  

My feelings are hurt.


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## elle camino (Nov 11, 2006)

NintendoXcore said:


> What about he picture in your profile?


alright so you know what 40% of my upper body looks like. 
no need to frown. like i said, the rest is alllllllll thighs and ass.


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## LoveBHMS (Nov 11, 2006)

She's got pics on various threads.

Elle is totally beautiful. 

Elle- If you even attempt to disagree, I will curse you that nobody ever gives you chocolate EVER AGAIN.

So there.


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## elle camino (Nov 11, 2006)

okokok. the ladies love me.
but please let's not make this thread out like some kinda fishing expedition on my part, cause it really was not. 
<3


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## mossystate (Nov 11, 2006)

elle camino said:


> okokok. the ladies love me.
> but please let's not make this thread out like some kinda fishing expedition on my part, cause it really was not.
> <3



elle, I know exactly what you are saying here..and what you are not..*s*


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## NintendoXcore (Nov 11, 2006)

elle camino said:


> alright so you know what 40% of my upper body looks like.
> no need to frown. like i said, the rest is alllllllll thighs and ass.



Sigh. I was having such a good day too. 

I'm sorry for giving you a compliment based on the upper 40% of your body without knowing anything about the lower half. My apologies. I just thought that saying something nice reguardless of other unnoted features would be fitting.

Also, I did not think you were fishing for compliments.


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## elle camino (Nov 11, 2006)

hon, i'm being silly. nothing to be sorry for. 
and thanks for the compliment, those are always nice.


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## NintendoXcore (Nov 11, 2006)

Well, I wish I could say that its all in good fun, but im afraid i took it a bit to seriously. Anyway, Im jsut going to stay away from this thread. Ha


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## elle camino (Nov 11, 2006)

NintendoXcore said:


> Well, I wish I could say that its all in good fun, but im afraid i took it a bit to seriously.


that sucks. 
still want to feed pies to my elbow?


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## NFA (Nov 12, 2006)

I think FA's are a lot like, well, most men. They have certain things that are especially of interest to them. I'd also point out that it seems like any shaped woman always assumes the majority of FA's prefer a body shape which is not theirs. Hourglass girls think pear girls are most desired. Pair girls think its all about the belly with FA's. Big Bellied girls look on and assume only the busty need apply. At the end of the day, I just don't think that any is a fair characterization. A lot of FA's like a lot of things. And while its important for ALL men to recognize that being attracted to one kind of body doesn't mean anyone without that body is somehow wrong, its also okay for some people to have attractions.

I'd also note that I'm personally a belly man. Does that mean I am only attracted to bellies? No. I consider myself an FA in the truest sense of the word. I'm attracted to fat in all its forms. But, its definetly the belly that catches my attention. Its what my attention gets drawn to on a woman with an apple shape, or with a bit butt and thighs, or with an hourglass shape. A woman with a big belly is definetly what I'm most attracted to as an FA. But its not all I'm attracted to as an FA. My attention's always going to gravitate to a cute belly, but I'm not attracted to just one kind of belly or one shape of BBW. I'd guess a lot of butt-men and breast-men are similiar. Not all, and that's fine. But I'd still guess a lot are. All I'm saying is, don't assume too much about a man if he likes a certain body part. And its okay to have one's own attractions. I wouldn't like anyone telling me I couldn't find fat women attractive, so I'm not going to tell anyone they shouldn't find fat butts attractive. But I'd also suggest to the women that even if they are into big butts, doesn't mean that only the biggest will do. Fat women come in a wonderful array of shapes, sizes, and yes, personalities, too. Plenty of folks out there to like each and every combination.

That all said, any of those threads from guys talking about which body part is best are just plain stupid. Have your attractions, embrace them, and express them. But don't rate them or act like your attraction is best. Be positive about it. Its real easy.


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## djewell (Nov 12, 2006)

I'm going to come down from the heavens and comment.

I like women. women are cool, women are awesome, women basically make my day worthwhile. The only thing that really competes for my attention besides interaction with a woman is mathematics. but man, i got a compliment from a lady today and it seriously brightened my attitude. 

when it comes to physical manifestation, i admit, i prefer fat women to skinny women. why? I dont know. I just do. it doesnt matter to me what type of fat because honestly, who cares? 

sometimes i wish i was blind (god forbid!) so i would be less judgemental.


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## ripley (Nov 12, 2006)

elle camino said:


> anyways, really, seriously, i'm NOT saying (other people may be, and that's fine, but i'm not) that this is a paysitegirls vs. nonpaysitegirls thing, for me. i am absolutely aware that, like marie mentioned, paysite girls are normal girls, just with paysites. for me it's much more like what rebecca said about feeling like a '2nd class fatty', since i seem to be lacking a few really key parts which all the FAs seem to...A. a lot.


It's not about that for me, either...I just used it as another example of a lack of...foresight that some guys may not realize doesn't endear them to some ladies. 

It doesn't bother me, exactly. I just look at dims as, in terms of its sexual "bent" as a site designed by a man for the gratification of men. The "amateur" pictures that end up in random threads on the main board, the lounge, the weight board, and the clubhouse, seem to be about 99.5% pictures of women. And, as far as I know, there is no BHM paysite guy frequenting the paysite forum.

I'm not surprised or chagrined that men like to see scantily clad women, lol. Of course they're gonna look and rhapsodize, those ladies are hot! I'm just glad that Dimensions has evolved to be so much more than that. I don't care which guy salivates over fat asses, or whatever. And I just try my hardest not to let it bother me that even here sometimes I'm too fat, or my ass is too small.


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## Ericthonius (Nov 12, 2006)

elle camino said:


> ... for me it's much more like what rebecca said about feeling like a '2nd class fatty', since i seem to be lacking a few really key parts which all the FAs seem to...A. a lot.



_elle? ripley? rebecca?

'2-nd class'?_

*No way! Fuck that!*


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## Jack Skellington (Nov 12, 2006)

ripley said:


> I just look at dims as, in terms of its sexual "bent" as a site designed by a man for the gratification of men.



I know you are feeling down and mistakenly feel like a "second class BBW" but give Conrad some credit here. 

And for the record the only "gratification" I get from posting here is talking to like minded people.


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## ripley (Nov 12, 2006)

Jack Skellington said:


> I know you are feeling down and mistakenly feel like a "second class BBW" but give Conrad some credit here.
> 
> And for the record the only "gratification" I get from posting here is talking to like minded people.


I qualified that statement, Jack.  I didn't say overall; I said in terms of it's sexual "bent" (or leaning would be another way to say it) and I also said that Dimensions has evolved to be way more than that. I didn't mean to imply that you or any other specific man got aroused from Dimensions content. 

I most definitely give Conrad tons of "credit." I love Dims, and am so happy to be part of a such a vibrant community. I meant "designed" as in it's original intent. But I still stick by my comment that I'm glad it's way more than the FA/SIG it started out as, and way more than the pictures of women (or men, for that matter).

Fat sexuality is very important. I'm just glad that there is lots more to Dims.

By the way, it wasn't me who said they felt like a "second class BBW."


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## mossystate (Nov 12, 2006)

Ripley removed some of the words from my mouth.

This site, in terms of looker/lookee, is very much obvious.Now, in chat, a few men do post pictures that say "look at me"(and not just belly shots), but for the most part it is about the female as candy under glass.I then think what happens is that many men tend to believe women are here for them and not the other way around.It is 'natural' for some men to then comment out here as if the women are not real human beings, but just more fodder for fantasies..etc..."she is the ideal woman".."her body is pretty nice".."oh, you should show me more pictures, in fact, my PM box is waiting, quivering"

I guess it really does not matter to me, as long as it is just a small number of men I would consider creepy no matter where I ran into them.My posts here are directed more at those men who might not realize what they say at times.*S*


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## Ample Pie (Nov 12, 2006)

Monique, I think you hit the nail on the head. Sometimes, I feel like we're treated or looked at as different archetypes or ideals and not as complete humans.

I'm not ragging on anyone. I have met some really decent guys here. I'm just saying.


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## TheNowhereMan (Nov 12, 2006)

Rebecca said:


> I often feel similarly and I've noticed that, as with the general population, a lot of FA's concentrate their attention really heavily on the bosom. Of course that's fine, but again for women, like me, who have big bellies and relatively small everything else, it can feel...sort of segregating. As in any social situation, though, I just try not to let the standards of others really affect how I feel. I try to live up to and adjust to my own. It isn't always easy and sometimes I feel like I'm not the 'right' kind of fat girl. I sympathize, Elle.


i like bellies yes i do i like bellies more than.. the rest. crap rhyming >_>


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 12, 2006)

MisticalMisty said:


> *Cause I don't like chocolate *
> 
> what else you got?



~EGADS!~


A woman that doesnt like chocolate..... oh my, I have lived to see everything 



I really wish you would take the chocolate, though, and forward it to me


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## TheNowhereMan (Nov 12, 2006)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> ~EGADS!~
> 
> 
> A woman that doesnt like chocolate..... oh my, I have lived to see everything
> ...


we maybe someone else could send you treats hmm?


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 12, 2006)

^^maybe someone could
*bats eyelashes*


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## TheNowhereMan (Nov 12, 2006)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> ^^maybe someone could
> *bats eyelashes*


home baker death by fudge brownies sound good to you? one of my specialities.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 12, 2006)

^^any free chocolate sounds good to me - I love gifts    


*still chuckling*


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## TheNowhereMan (Nov 12, 2006)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> ^^any free chocolate sounds good to me - I love gifts
> 
> 
> *still chuckling*


what can i say im a baker at heart any exscuse to cook is a good one.
which also makes me a gainers dream guy i guess haha


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