# Curious about your opinions on stories written in first person



## Corey (Apr 9, 2020)

When I began my story on Dims, I knew that the only way for me to feel comfortable writing it was if I wrote it in first person. This is my first shot at writing fiction, so I wanted to do what felt most natural to me. I honestly never gave my decision a second thought until last night when I came across a few articles saying romances should not be told in first person.

I started my story on a whim, which was my first mistake, but lately I’ve been really frustrated with my writing. I cringe at it and then experience embarrassment at the lack of depth, especially since I can’t edit after a certain time. I do edit beforehand, but I still find better ways to write certain things days after I’ve submitted. I’m so distracted by my busy home life due to the coronavirus lockdown that when I DO have the time to write, it’s for 10 minutes here and there, and this process can last over a span of days before I have enough material to post. To be clear, I am not writing just to get a post out or to get my story out of the way. I enjoy creating my story. It’s the lack of time and focus that has me frustrated, so I researched tips on writing romance in first person, with the hopes of being able to make the best of my quick 10 minute writing increments.

I had no idea people were against first person. Then I looked around at other people’s stories on Dims and noticed that not many use first person.

*So, my question is for the other writers on Dims:*

Which point of view is your favorite to write from, and why? Are you against first person?


*And readers (and writers):* 

Do you notice a difference in which point of view you’re reading from, and do you have a favorite? As a reader, do you feel that your experience is limited when you only see things from the narrator’s eyes? Do you become bored with hearing the same voice throughout the story?

These are things I never thought of until last night, so I’m interested in hearing what others have to say. As I said, Private Practice is my first story, so I’m in no way experienced. I still have a lot to learn before tackling my next story.


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## Shh! Don’t tell! (Apr 9, 2020)

I also cringe at my own writing sometimes, I think that’s just life. When I’ve written on here it’s been in non-omnipotent third person just because that’s what I mostly read and feel comfortable with. I wouldn’t write in 1st person because I’m just not as comfortable with it, but there’s nothing wrong with it, it has its own strengths and weaknesses just like thperson.

Also, this might just a personal hang-up of mine, but when I’m writing fetish content third person perspective feels comfortably removed to write. Something about first personal seemed too intimate and too close for comfort. To me, first person feels like I’m speaking about myself instead of someone else which makes me feel uncomfortable when I’m writing wg. Third person has the feeling of observing from a distance. I hope that makes a least a little bit of sense and is not complete rambling.

I’ve noticed the really hard core kinky stuff always tends to use second person. If someone writes in second person you know they’re not fucking around with character development or plot or anything, it’s just pure horniness.

I wouldn’t worry too much about high quality writing. I actually wrote most of the stuff I’ve written on here while in withdrawal from psychiatric drugs and to be honest, I think it shows. It ain’t Shakespeare. But I don’t think of this as a place to post my best work; it’s a place to have fun and express yourself. As long as you’re having fun writing, it’s good enough, in my opinion.


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## Corey (Apr 9, 2020)

@Shh! Don’t tell! I think a lot of writers cringe at their work at some point or another, too. Personally, I am a huge perfectionist. It’s tiring. When it comes to things with my name behind it, I will not attempt it until I have the space, time, and mindset to perfect it. Well, with 3 young kids, those opportunities will never happen, and I can’t write when I’m dead. So there’s that. I just wanted to free myself for a moment, and the best way to do that was in a community with a bunch of strangers.

That makes sense as to why you would prefer to write in third person. It actually makes a lot of sense. First person feels the most comfortable to me because I am writing from my personal perspective and a lot of it is in my own voice. I know you’re not supposed to do that, but again, I was going for most comfortable. Just dipping my toes in. It’s easy for me to be intimate in my writing and to express my character’s sexual desires because I feel those on a very real level with my husband. So I’m just writing what I feel. When I first started my story, all I did was think ‘What would husband say/react to this, what would I say/react to that’ and as my story progressed, I felt comfortable enough to branch out more.

You are the 2nd person to tell me I need to let go of the high quality writing expectation, so I will try, but just know that I smack myself each time I post anything less. And also, the reason I’ve enjoyed your story (only read Big Shot) so much is because at times the dialogue got super quirky and I LOVED it. I love imperfect, quirky, witty characters.

Thanks for your input!


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## jakemcduck (Apr 9, 2020)

First, rules are made to be broken once you understand them. Anytime I see writing gurus say you shouldn't this, you shouldn't that, I take it with a grain of salt. The story is the boss. If you feel it should be first person, then that's what you should do. My first two stories (Sam and Sarah, and Truckin') and a later one (Oil Boom) were all first person. I don't think there's a wrong POV for any genre. The trouble with first person is it can be all I, I, I, I, I, I. Now that I've done a little writing I prefer third person. 

Writing can be as frustrating as it is rewarding. I start stories on a whim too and they always frustrate me because I always get to a point where I don't know where it's going. I have to have some kind of outline and have an end in mind. It starts with a line, or a scene, or a situation I want to write about, i think of characters, I might jot down a few things, but if I want my story to be successful I need to have some kind of outline. Not all writers like or need outlines, but I need one. And another frustration is my limited time to write, daily tasks, work, etc. There's always something. 

Talk about cringe. It's normal. Anytime I see older writing (when i was learning to write) and I'm like, omg, i hope nobody ever sees this. Even work that's already posted I think I could have said that differently, or I wish I could go back and change something. But that's part of the challenge of posting as you go. The continuity of the story. 

Don't worry about what people are against. If you said you're for fluffy bunnies and rainbows, you can bet someone would announce some bunny did them wrong, or how rainbows hurt their eyes. The story is the story and only you can tell it, so tell it how you're best able.

It's not a story's POV that makes it boring. Throwing junk in there that doesn't belong makes a story boring. Boring, uninteresting characters make a story boring, loading me up with backstory that tells me about a character (as opposed to something that happened to a character that might clue me in to what they're about) make a story boring.

There's only one way to get experience. Do it.


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## landshark (Apr 9, 2020)

I sometimes write in first person. There are advantages to it and challenges. Narrative can become tiresome to read and right so usually when I do use first person I try to make sure I include the character’s thoughts as dialogue.

Also, if you’ve read a James Patterson novel or two you’ll notice he sometimes switches between first person and third, and then at some point he reveals which character the first person is. Which if you’ve read him enough actually becomes easy to figure out, but I digress. Harlan Coben is another, possibly my favorite novelist who writes a lot of first person material and it’s amazing.

First person also works well in shorter pieces. I’m tinkering around with a couple that are first person. And in the past I used to write fetish stuff usually in first person because it was my way of “living” a fantasy.

Lastly I’ve been mulling about a flash fic piece i may post here. It’ll be first person but from the perspective of a plus size woman, something I’m not. I think being able to capture something like that as a writer would be a unique challenge.

Write what you want and don’t be overly critical of yourself! I need to read more of the stories here.


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## RVGleason (Apr 9, 2020)

I’m a romantic at heart, and I write my stories with an aspect of cute romance in them. 

Elements of weight gain are in my stories, but I want the romance between two people who are fond of each other and eventually fall in love to be the main focus of the stories.

I hope I’ve succeeded to some degree in expressing that in my stories.


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## Corey (Apr 9, 2020)

jakemcduck said:


> First, rules are made to be broken once you understand them. Anytime I see writing gurus say you shouldn't this, you shouldn't that, I take it with a grain of salt. The story is the boss. If you feel it should be first person, then that's what you should do. My first two stories (Sam and Sarah, and Truckin') and a later one (Oil Boom) were all first person. I don't think there's a wrong POV for any genre. The trouble with first person is it can be all I, I, I, I, I, I. Now that I've done a little writing I prefer third person.
> 
> Writing can be as frustrating as it is rewarding. I start stories on a whim too and they always frustrate me because I always get to a point where I don't know where it's going. I have to have some kind of outline and have an end in mind. It starts with a line, or a scene, or a situation I want to write about, i think of characters, I might jot down a few things, but if I want my story to be successful I need to have some kind of outline. Not all writers like or need outlines, but I need one. And another frustration is my limited time to write, daily tasks, work, etc. There's always something.
> 
> ...



The whole reason for my frustration over my last installment was because when I went back to read it, I noticed all the ‘I’ that I used. I should have re-proofread the following day after posting and didn’t. When I finally did log on to check over things, the site was down and then my edit time expired. I wrote my last installment at 2am, so when I check things that late, I don’t always catch stuff. I actually fell asleep while proof reading my last installment. But writing until the wee hours of the morning is the only chance I get without interruptions.

I do know how my story will play out, thankfully. I didn’t when I first began, though. I won’t make that mistake twice.

I do add backstory to my characters, which I feel is necessary. I try not to add meaningless fluff, but I still may without knowing it. It’s hard for me to know if others understand what I’m saying because it’s hard for me to see outside of my head. I know what I’m meaning to say, but do others? I’m not sure.


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## jakemcduck (Apr 9, 2020)

You're doing great and I'm really enjoying your story, so don't be so hard on yourself especially since this is your first effort. It doesn't look like a first effort so cut yourself some slack. I don't recall coming across anything that I didn't understand or that wasn't believable. 

Adding backstory within the story is fine and often necessary to clue us in to why a character is the way they are. The backstory I was referring to was when writers dump it at the beginning of the story. Readers don't care about that stuff until it's relevant.

It takes time to learn the craft so try not to frustrate yourself with things that naturally improve over time. Enjoy what you're doing. Like I said, you're doing great.


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## Corey (Apr 9, 2020)

jakemcduck said:


> You're doing great and I'm really enjoying your story, so don't be so hard on yourself especially since this is your first effort. It doesn't look like a first effort so cut yourself some slack. I don't recall coming across anything that I didn't understand or that wasn't believable.
> 
> Adding backstory within the story is fine and often necessary to clue us in to why a character is the way they are. The backstory I was referring to was when writers dump it at the beginning of the story. Readers don't care about that stuff until it's relevant.
> 
> It takes time to learn the craft so try not to frustrate yourself with things that naturally improve over time. Enjoy what you're doing. Like I said, you're doing great.



Ah, I get what you’re saying and totally agree. The mushed together ‘Karen was with blonde hair and blue eyes and about 110 pounds with c-cup breasts...she was a cheerleader.’

Thank you for your encouragement. I’ve got lots to think about with everyone’s replies.


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## Ffancy (Apr 9, 2020)

I like both first and third person stories. They have different strengths. First person works well for the sort of visceral emotional and sexual scenes that we’re looking for here, and for really getting into one character’s perspective. This can also lead to interesting stories when that perspective is missing information or not interpreting something correctly.

A third person story allows the writer to show more of the action and follow multiple perspectives, and create a sprawling world that gets explored more fully.

Personally I don’t enjoy second person stories that much. They‘re mostly addressed to feedees and force me into a role I don’t enjoy, so I just skip ‘em. Not every story can be everyone’s cup of tea.

Don’t worry about improving your past writing. Take what you’re learning and improve your future writing. Your writing is already great though!


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## Corey (Apr 9, 2020)

happily_married said:


> I sometimes write in first person. There are advantages to it and challenges. Narrative can become tiresome to read and right so usually when I do use first person I try to make sure I include the character’s thoughts as dialogue.
> 
> Also, if you’ve read a James Patterson novel or two you’ll notice he sometimes switches between first person and third, and then at some point he reveals which character the first person is. Which if you’ve read him enough actually becomes easy to figure out, but I digress. Harlan Coben is another, possibly my favorite novelist who writes a lot of first person material and it’s amazing.
> 
> ...



I haven’t read the books from the authors you listed, but they look to be suspense driven, which makes complete sense. Off the top of my head, my favorites written in first person are To Kill a Mockingbird, Gone Girl (which I loved only seeing her crazed point of view), The Hunger Games, Jane Eyre, The Great Gatsby (again, I loved only knowing Nick’s POV). And I love reading biographies.

The more I talk about this, the more I laugh at myself. I seriously read all the time, you guys, I promise. Even with kids crawling all over me. I guess I haven’t paid that much attention to POV, except for Gone Girl and The Great Gatsby, because their narration is very obvious and the protagonists end up having a very skewed truth that comes to light later on. I will admit that in the past year, I’ve been on a biography kick. Maybe that’s why.


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## landshark (Apr 9, 2020)

@Corey i literally just had one of my team members insist I read Gone Girl. She was adamant about it!


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## Corey (Apr 9, 2020)

Ffancy said:


> I like both first and third person stories. They have different strengths. First person works well for the sort of visceral emotional and sexual scenes that we’re looking for here, and for really getting into one character’s perspective. This can also lead to interesting stories when that perspective is missing information or not interpreting something correctly.
> 
> A third person story allows the writer to show more of the action and follow multiple perspectives, and create a sprawling world that gets explored more fully.
> 
> ...




Yeah, I like when a credible person’s perspective is proven to be unbalanced toward the end, which throws the reader in for a complete mindfuck. Typically, I can foresee a story’s plot line, so I like to be wrong. I always read those novels over again, enjoying it even more the second time. I also like when a protagonist has an obvious flaw in perspective toward others and life. I don’t know why that is. Maybe it’s because I like to see different people’s viewpoints while also having the opportunity to see behind the eyes of protagonists who struggle with mental health. I am an empath. It drains my emotional energy to read these types of novels where I can feel the struggle (when well written), but it also helps me to broaden my perspective as a person. Not everything is as it seems.

Another reason I really enjoy writing in first person is because I get to tell the story of what a person is thinking (even if flawed) and feeling (the good and the bad) instead of hearing their story told through someone else’s perception. And that’s for personal reasons.

So, when I became a mom for the first time and started working from home, I kept thinking about the woman in _The Yellow Wallpaper_. I related to her only in the terms of feeling trapped. I felt that my inner voice- who always blessed me with perfectly timed humor and wit during social situations- was trapped in a silent box by itself and with no creative outlet to feed off of. My first pregnancy was unplanned and while my husband was still my fiancé, so I had a baby way earlier than my friends. They pretty much assumed I didn’t want to hang out with them once I became a mom. When I went to other mom-group type things (), all they talked about was their baby Henry or Henrietta, or even worse, how sexually charged and lazy their husbands were and so forth. I didn’t want to talk about my baby, who I stayed home with all day, and I didn’t want to talk about my amazing and sexy husband/dad to my daughter/best friend/super hero/and fixer of all the broken things around the house. It didn’t sit right with me to speak positively about my husband to a group of bitter negative Nancy’s. And god forbid if I let it slip that me and my husband had sex more than once a week, sometimes even involving some real kinky shit. 

This resulted in me feeling really trapped inside of my own head because NO ONE cared to hear my thoughts. I was much more than a mom and much more than a young wife. I was me, FIRST, and wife and mother second. Actually, when I first became active on Dims, I told myself that I was not going to mention anything about being a mom. I wanted this to be a separate part of me, but that only went on for so long before I felt inauthentic. Brooke’s character has been a great way for me to free my voice and my creativity. Maybe once Private Practice is completed, I will feel like I’m ready to write in 3rd person (but never 2nd).


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## Corey (Apr 10, 2020)

happily_married said:


> @Corey i literally just had one of my team members insist I read Gone Girl. She was adamant about it!



I hate to say this, but you’ll either hate it’s guts or love every stinkin’ part of its sick guts. I haven’t heard of any in-between stances. I loved it, but I’m typically a sucker for strange, not your typical happy ending type of literature. That’s probably why Edgar Allan Poe is my all time favorite.


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## landshark (Apr 10, 2020)

Corey said:


> I hate to say this, but you’ll either hate it’s guts or love every stinkin’ part of its sick guts. I haven’t heard of any in-between stances. I loved it, but I’m typically a sucker for strange, not your typical happy ending type of literature. That’s probably why Edgar Allan Poe is my all time favorite.



okay I’ll give it a shot. Bet I could order it on Amazon cheap right now!


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## maltesefalcon (Apr 10, 2020)

Biggest issue for 1st person, is that all the action has to take place from one viewpoint. This means you cannot normally add dialogue or action that occurs without the first person being present.

The other issue is the story can end up with too much me, me, me if you are not careful.
But you are the writer, so pick whatever suits you.

Not sure what you mean by "comfortable" above. Are you worried about critics? Just shrug them off. 

But if this helps....make the story enjoyable and readable by focussing on grammar, spelling and paragraphing.

Oh-and above all, please don't leave it unfinished lol.


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## Corey (Apr 10, 2020)

maltesefalcon said:


> Biggest issue for 1st person, is that all the action has to take place from one viewpoint. This means you cannot normally add dialogue or action that occurs without the first person being present.
> 
> The other issue is the story can end up with too much me, me, me if you are not careful.
> But you are the writer, so pick whatever suits you.
> ...



Thanks for replying! I agree. I have more than one person’s POV- a husband and wife. I switch off between the two every few chapters. I have to be careful, because when distracted, I think I may get into the ‘me’ too easily. I’m going to be more mindful...hopefully.

I think I have the grammar, spelling and paragraphing down, because those are more obvious and bother me.

Surprisingly, no, I’m not worried about critics or if people like my story. Im writing this story for me, and I will finish it. You can count on that. When I said ‘comfortable’ I meant that it would be easier for me to get my story flow out without having to stop and make sure I was writing it correctly.


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## Shotha (Apr 11, 2020)

When people tell you what you should be doing or not doing as a writer, these things should be taken as generalizations rather than rules. I've come across excellent pieces of romantic literature written in the first person.

I tend to write in the first person for two reasons. Firstly, I like to write fantasy pieces but they are fantasies about what I would like to happen to me. Secondly, although I write fantasies they are solidly rooted in the reality of actual personal experience.

When you write a romance in the third person, it gives it a feeling of objective detachment from the narrative. However, it also raises the question of how the narrator knows all of the most intimate and secret details of the story. Writing in the first person imposes a testimonial perspective on the story. For example, when I write in the first person it gives my testimonial about what has happened to me as a fat man or what I would like to happen to me as a fat man. When you narrate in the first person, the reader can identify more with the narrator than with the other characters in the story. This can mute the romantic content and that is fine, if you want to do that.

Literature written for sites like Dims is not likely to be classed as great literature, because it appeals to a limited audience. However, if you write a story that people still mention 10 or 20 years later, then you can be sure that you have written an outstanding piece for your genre.


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## Corey (Apr 11, 2020)

Shotha said:


> When people tell you what you should be doing or not doing as a writer, these things should be taken as generalizations rather than rules. I've come across excellent pieces of romantic literature written in the first person.
> 
> I tend to write in the first person for two reasons. Firstly, I like to write fantasy pieces but they are fantasies about what I would like to happen to me. Secondly, although I write fantasies they are solidly rooted in the reality of actual personal experience.
> 
> ...



Has anyone told you lately how valued you are? Not just for your input on this particular thread, but for all of the quality, thought provoking conversations you bring along with you wherever you go. 

When I came across the “rules” of writing in first person, I didn’t regret my decision or even think twice about it, really. I should have been more specific in my original post, but I am not regretful for writing my story in first person. I’m just surprised that first person is so frowned upon when writing romantic literature, that’s all. The way I see it is, if I’m the one putting forth the effort to create and write the story, then I’m the one who gets to decide how it’s going to be told.

I felt that writing in first person would bring to life my personal feelings regarding the love and admiration (and inner thoughts) that I have for and about my husband. He’s on my mind a lot of the time anyway, and I’m very familiar with his body and with the way I react to seeing/touching it, so writing from my perspective in the form of a character seems the best option.

My writing is nowhere near being classed as great literature. What bothers me is knowing what I’m capable of writing and then not reaching that level due to the never ending distraction of motherhood. I can’t sit down and write something in peace. So far, 100% of my story was written on the notes app on my phone. I’d say that over 95% of my story was written with Disney Jr. on the TV, or in 5-10 minute increments throughout the span of 2-3 days, or really late at night after everyone else in the house has gone to bed because that’s the only alone time I get.

So, I’m just really hard on myself, that’s all. I constantly compare my undistracted capabilities with my current capabilities. I don’t know how to stop competing with myself.


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## Shh! Don’t tell! (Apr 11, 2020)

Corey said:


> Yeah, I like when a credible person’s perspective is proven to be unbalanced toward the end, which throws the reader in for a complete mindfuck. Typically, I can foresee a story’s plot line, so I like to be wrong. I always read those novels over again, enjoying it even more the second time. I also like when a protagonist has an obvious flaw in perspective toward others and life. I don’t know why that is.



Some of my favorite novels use that. The truth is that all writers, even when you’re taking on the third person “narrator voice,” have flaws in perspective, so when you create a flawed narrator you’re acknowledging what already happens and maybe becoming more aware of perspective as you write.

Also, I write in notes too, just so it’s not in the same place on my computer as my schoolwork, you know?


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## Corey (Apr 11, 2020)

Shh! Don’t tell! said:


> Some of my favorite novels use that. The truth is that all writers, even when you’re taking on the third person “narrator voice,” have flaws in perspective, so when you create a flawed narrator you’re acknowledging what already happens and maybe becoming more aware of perspective as you write.
> 
> Also, I write in notes too, just so it’s not in the same place on my computer as my schoolwork, you know?



I completely get that. It would turn me off to scroll through my school documents to get to the good stuff. Also, knowing me, I’d accidentally send a raunchy writing document to my professor instead of the intended assignment. How many semesters do you have left to go?


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## Shh! Don’t tell! (Apr 11, 2020)

Corey said:


> I completely get that. It would turn me off to scroll through my school documents to get to the good stuff. Also, knowing me, I’d accidentally send a raunchy writing document to my professor instead of the intended assignment. How many semesters do you have left to go?



just one and it’s online because of covid. The “accidentally sending my professor my extracurricular writing” scenario is like my exact fear. I always get crushes on professors so I can’t even imagine the mortification if that happened, I’d have to like transfer schools or something.


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## Rojodi (Apr 11, 2020)

Growing up, I had the pleasure of reading old pulp fictions and noirs. They were in first person, but very well written. If you ever have a chance, read them in the perspective of a Creative Writing student. So worth while.

Second person - the "You did this" and "You did that" - is kind of annoying to me.


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## Rojodi (Apr 11, 2020)

Shh! Don’t tell! said:


> just one and it’s online because of covid. The “accidentally sending my professor my extracurricular writing” scenario is like my exact fear. I always get crushes on professors so I can’t even imagine the mortification if that happened, I’d have to like transfer schools or something.



I wonder if my English Comp professor would have corrected it. She probably would have, seeing that she was an open-minded woman. 

Would have had so many red edit pen of death marks on it, comments throughout .


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## landshark (Apr 11, 2020)

Shh! Don’t tell! said:


> just one and it’s online because of covid. The “accidentally sending my professor my extracurricular writing” scenario is like my exact fear. I always get crushes on professors so I can’t even imagine the mortification if that happened, I’d have to like transfer schools or something.



okay so this isn’t a juicy story I sent to a professor but it’s similar. The other day I was working from home and it was insanely nice outside. I decided I was going to work in style and got out the sun tan lotion, swim trunks, and brought my work computer outside. I placed it in the shade and lay down right next to it on the patio, taking to below picture and sending to my wife.

Except the top message in my texts was actually my boss and I sent it so fast with the message “tough day at the office” that I didn’t notice until it was too late.

Waiting for her reply was agonizing! I didn’t know if I should send her another text saying sorry that was for my wife or what. So I just hoped maybe she wouldn’t notice.

she did.  but fortunately for me she was actually amused. But she definitely has given me shit about it since!


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## Corey (Apr 11, 2020)

Shh! Don’t tell! said:


> just one and it’s online because of covid. The “accidentally sending my professor my extracurricular writing” scenario is like my exact fear. I always get crushes on professors so I can’t even imagine the mortification if that happened, I’d have to like transfer schools or something.



True story....when I was in college, webcam pics were a huge thing. My boyfriend at the time was long distance, so to keep things alive, I’d send him risqué photos of myself via email. One night, I was JUST about to push send, like finger on the send button close, when I realized that it wasn’t my boyfriend’s email but a professors email with the same first name. My heart still beats fast just thinking about it.  CRIIIIIIIIINNNNNGE.

(*EDITED TO ADD* thanks to @Rojodi who reminded me of what truly happened) The ghosts must have prevented me from pushing send, because I could have sworn that I pushed it.


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## Rojodi (Apr 11, 2020)

Corey said:


> True story....when I was in college, webcam pics were a huge thing. My boyfriend at the time was long distance, so to keep things alive, I’d send him risqué photos of myself via email. One night, I was JUST about to push send, like finger on the send button close, when I realized that it wasn’t my boyfriend’s email but a professors email with the same first name. My heart still beats fast just thinking about it. I have no idea how it didn’t send, because I could have sworn that I pushed it.  CRIIIIIIIIINNNNNGE.



Ghosts in the room prevented it?


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## Corey (Apr 11, 2020)

Rojodi said:


> Ghosts in the room prevented it?



That makes the story more interesting, so I’m going with it. Yes, the ghosts prevented it. Hold on and let me edit my story real quick.


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## Rojodi (Apr 11, 2020)

Corey said:


> That makes the story more interesting, so I’m going with it. Yes, the ghosts prevented it. Hold on and let me edit my story real quick.



Electronic glitch at the right moment is most likely, but since I believe in ghosts...LOL


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## Corey (Apr 11, 2020)

Rojodi said:


> Electronic glitch at the right moment is most likely, but since I believe in ghosts...LOL



I edited my story. It’s a good one to tell now.


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## Rojodi (Apr 11, 2020)

Corey said:


> I edited my story. It’s a good one to tell now.



I have many true ghost stories, from one of our cats being pushed backwards to college roommates not being able to open the front door late at night.


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## landshark (Apr 11, 2020)

I’m going to add a question to the one @Corey asked.

how many of you when you do write first person write present tense? I have done it with some work and recently finished a draft of a piece written predominantly in present tense. It introduces additional challenges, but it’s fun to do.

Anyone else play with this?


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## Rojodi (Apr 11, 2020)

happily_married said:


> I’m going to add a question to the one @Corey asked.
> 
> how many of you when you do write first person write present tense? I have done it with some work and recently finished a draft of a piece written predominantly in present tense. It introduces additional challenges, but it’s fun to do.
> 
> Anyone else play with this?



Good writing exercise. I've tried it but gave up. The story didn't sound right in my head.


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## Metallicalover99 (Apr 11, 2020)

I enjoy reading stories in the first and even third person. Not so much in second person, but everyone enjoys something different! I have immensely enjoyed reading your wonderful story in the first person! It reads almost as if it were a novel!


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## Corey (Apr 11, 2020)

@happily_married 

No, I don’t play around with that.


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## Corey (Apr 11, 2020)

Metallicalover99 said:


> I enjoy reading stories in the first and even third person. Not so much in second person, but everyone enjoys something different! I have immensely enjoyed reading your wonderful story in the first person! It reads almost as if it were a novel!



You are so kind, @Metallicalover99 

I’m not a big of second person, either. It seems that third person narrative is a favorite for most.


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## landshark (Apr 11, 2020)

Corey said:


> You are so kind, @Metallicalover99 ❤
> 
> I’m not a big of second person, either. It seems that third person narrative is a favorite for most.



when I was a kid I used to read these books that were all written in 2nd person. The series was called “choose your own adventure” and you didn’t read from start to finish. You’d get to decision points in the story and have to pick.

So if you’re running from a bad guy or whatever and there’s a place to hide or, say a stranger offers help: you have to pick one or the other and whichever you pick would determine what page you’d go to next.

They were for kids (pre-teens) though, not the kind of 2nd person stuff people seem to be talking about here!


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## Corey (Apr 11, 2020)

Choose Your Own Adventure:​
You stuff two large cookies into your greedy mouth and begin to chew quickly, almost alarmingly so, like a bat out of hell. You can’t get caught again. Not tonight. It will bring great shame upon your family’s name. Your mother’s last words loop in your head like a piercing squawk, “Now Count, be a nice little boy and keep your fat fingers out of the host’s cookie jar this time.” Are you a child? No, you are not. You are at least a hundred years old, and you don’t like to be told what to do.

All of a sudden, a light flicks on in the kitchen, just on the other side of the cracked pantry door. Your heart races faster in your chest as you peak over your pudgy shoulder in fear. What will be your excuse this time? You don’t know. You don’t think of the consequence when cookies are involved.

You’re too afraid to move. The pantry opens so slow that the rusted bolt draws out a prolonged squeak. The cookies feel like lead as they slide heavily down your throat. You realize this may be your last time to ever taste the sweetness of heaven again, so you panic and stuff the remaining cookies inside of your mouth, right in front of the monster himself.

The only thing separating you and the monster is your fat belly speckled with cookie crumbs. It’s a big belly, indeed. The monster looks you up and down before he opens up his hairy mouth to speak.

What does Cookie Monster say to Count?

Turn to page 3 for Cookie Monster to say, “Me kick your ass big time!”

Turn to page 4 for Cookie Monster to say, “Me want to rub your big, fat belly.”

damnit, @happily_married, I meant to add this on your post.


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## landshark (Apr 11, 2020)

@Corey 

that was hilarious! DI’d you read those books ever? They in print from the late 70s through the late 90s as far as I know.

And as I read “my” adventure I couldn’t help but feel a subtle inclination on your part to fatten me up!


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## Shotha (Apr 11, 2020)

happily_married said:


> I’m going to add a question to the one @Corey asked.
> 
> how many of you when you do write first person write present tense? I have done it with some work and recently finished a draft of a piece written predominantly in present tense. It introduces additional challenges, but it’s fun to do.
> 
> Anyone else play with this?



That's technically referred to as the "historic present". It's often used for dramatic effect, as it brings the narrative to life because it treats the past as now. It also sound very colloquial and so brings the narrator vividly to life. In ghost stories, mysteries and thrillers it can enhance the atmosphere. It has the reader on edge and watching out for ghosts and villains. Such a use of the present historic gives a sense of urgency to the narrative. "I've got to let other people know about this, before it/they get me..."


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## landshark (Apr 11, 2020)

Shotha said:


> That's technically referred to as the "historic present". It's often used for dramatic effect, as it brings the narrative to life because it treats the past as now. It also sound very colloquial and so brings the narrator vividly to life. In ghost stories, mysteries and thrillers it can enhance the atmosphere. It has the reader on edge and watching out for ghosts and villains. Such a use of the present historic gives a sense of urgency to the narrative. "I've got to let other people know about this, before it/they get me..."



i agree. In a first person piece writing in present tense lends a sense of urgency to the work. I recently completed an early draft of a piece that is nearly 8000 words in present tense. I can’t write full length novels in present tense, I eventually give myself problems with the verb tense. But short pieces I can do and actually really like it. When I was writing fantasy/fetish stuff I used a lot of first person present tense.

i also use it as a way to introduce the story. Like the beginning scene and closing scene in present tense and the middle in past tense. I’m actually working on one like that now.

I’m working on a lot actually. When I lose momentum I just shift to another one and keep the rotation going until I have a complete story.


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## Corey (Apr 11, 2020)

happily_married said:


> @Corey
> 
> that was hilarious! DI’d you read those books ever? They in print from the late 70s through the late 90s as far as I know.
> 
> And as I read “my” adventure I couldn’t help but feel a subtle inclination on your part to fatten me up!



 No, I’ve never read the series. My son has something similar and WITHOUT fail, he will choose the scariest or most dangerous path. He did something completely irresponsible the other day and my daughter said, “Do you like danger?!” And I swear, his eyes lit up faster than they should have...he was like “Yeah! I do, I do!” He thought she was asking him if he wanted to do something dangerous, and he got really psyched about it.


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## landshark (Apr 11, 2020)

@Corey 
When I would read those I’d be getting chase by a vampire or something in the Transylvanian mountains and come upon a choice:

Take the higher road: turn to page 28

take the lower road turn to page 35

so I’d pick the higher road and there would be a picture of bats swarming my character as he stumbles off a cliff to his death! And I’d be like “fuck that I’m going back to the lower road!” Yeah. I’d cheat!


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## Shotha (Apr 11, 2020)

happily_married said:


> i agree. In a first person piece writing in present tense lends a sense of urgency to the work. I recently completed an early draft of a piece that is nearly 8000 words in present tense. I can’t write full length novels in present tense, I eventually give myself problems with the verb tense. But short pieces I can do and actually really like it. When I was writing fantasy/fetish stuff I used a lot of first person present tense.
> 
> i also use it as a way to introduce the story. Like the beginning scene and closing scene in present tense and the middle in past tense. I’m actually working on one like that now.
> 
> I’m working on a lot actually. When I lose momentum I just shift to another one and keep the rotation going until I have a complete story.



The reason why you can't write full length novels in the present tense is probably that it would be unrealistic. A real life narrator would have to take breaks for eating and sleeping. Now you're giving me ideas. I'm toying with the idea of a fat gluttonous narrator taking breaks between narrative sessions.


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## Shotha (Apr 11, 2020)

Shh! Don’t tell! said:


> Some of my favorite novels use that. The truth is that all writers, even when you’re taking on the third person “narrator voice,” have flaws in perspective, so when you create a flawed narrator you’re acknowledging what already happens and maybe becoming more aware of perspective as you write.
> 
> Also, I write in notes too, just so it’s not in the same place on my computer as my schoolwork, you know?



That's an interesting point. Narrators (including authors) are flawed. It also accounts for why we are so critical of our own work. Even when we write a story, which others praise lavishly, we are aware of the flaws, because we are aware of the target that we're aiming at.


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## John Smith (Apr 12, 2020)

This thread has worsen both my blank page & Impostor Syndromes all simultaneously.


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## Corey (Apr 12, 2020)

John Smith said:


> This thread has worsen both my blank page & Impostor Syndromes all simultaneously.



Let’s just all write shitty** stories together. We can be the shitty story crew, you in?

**But actually try our hardest, and just pretend like we don’t care.


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## Shotha (Apr 12, 2020)

Corey said:


> Let’s just all write shitty** stories together. We can be the shitty story crew, you in?
> 
> **But actually try our hardest, and just pretend like we don’t care.



Yeah, let's all be bad.


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## landshark (Apr 12, 2020)

Corey said:


> Let’s just all write shitty** stories together. We can be the shitty story crew, you in?
> 
> **But actually try our hardest, and just pretend like we don’t care.



That would actually be a little fun. Abandon all sense of what we write and just do the most whimsical stuff that comes to mind! I bet we’d still have some pure gold!


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## Corey (Apr 12, 2020)

Shotha said:


> Yeah, let's all be bad.


You go first.


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## Shh! Don’t tell! (Apr 12, 2020)

Shotha said:


> The reason why you can't write full length novels in the present tense is probably that it would be unrealistic. A real life narrator would have to take breaks for eating and sleeping. Now you're giving me ideas. I'm toying with the idea of a fat gluttonous narrator taking breaks between narrative sessions.



The Hunger Games uses first person present tense and because the plot hinges on eating enough to not starve and finding safe places to sleep in a life or death situation I think it works. I haven’t read it since I was thirteen, though, so I might be remembering it as better then it was.

Another way to do first person is an epistolary novel, like Dracula, which is a collection of multiple characters journals and letters to each other. There’s a newspaper article in there too, I think. You get more perspectives then in a straight forward first person which is great.


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## landshark (Apr 12, 2020)

Shh! Don’t tell! said:


> The Hunger Games uses first person present tense and because the plot hinges on eating enough to not starve and finding safe places to sleep in a life or death situation I think it works. I haven’t read it since I was thirteen, though, so I might be remembering it as better then it was.
> 
> Another way to do first person is an epistolary novel, like Dracula, which is a collection of multiple characters journals and letters to each other. There’s a newspaper article in there too, I think. You get more perspectives then in a straight forward first person which is great.



a lot of first person novels do switch perspectives throughout. Like I mentioned James Patterson earlier, he’s mastered that technique. And has sold tens of millions of books, so obviously there’s a place for it!


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## Shotha (Apr 12, 2020)

happily_married said:


> That would actually be a little fun. Abandon all sense of what we write and just do the most whimsical stuff that comes to mind! I bet we’d still have some pure gold!



We could have a competition to see who can write the excruciatingly worst short story.


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## Shotha (Apr 12, 2020)

Corey said:


> You go first.



See my post about a competition.


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## landshark (Apr 12, 2020)

Shotha said:


> We could have a competition to see who can write the excruciatingly worst short story.



Hold my beer!


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## Corey (Apr 12, 2020)

happily_married said:


> Hold my beer!



omg DYING.


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## Shotha (Apr 12, 2020)

Corey said:


> Has anyone told you lately how valued you are? Not just for your input on this particular thread, but for all of the quality, thought provoking conversations you bring along with you wherever you go. ❤
> 
> When I came across the “rules” of writing in first person, I didn’t regret my decision or even think twice about it, really. I should have been more specific in my original post, but I am not regretful for writing my story in first person. I’m just surprised that first person is so frowned upon when writing romantic literature, that’s all. The way I see it is, if I’m the one putting forth the effort to create and write the story, then I’m the one who gets to decide how it’s going to be told.
> 
> ...



Don't worry about the "rules". The "rules" were not created for us to write by. They are classifications of writing genres made by literary critics and comments on what they think is good or bad writing. The "rules" are not jellymoulds for good writing; they are classifications of existing writing. As far as I'm concerned, if I write a piece and just one person likes it, that's successful writing.


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## stevita (Apr 13, 2020)

I always write in 3rd limited because I find it so much more difficult to write in 1st without sounding repetitive. But you are doing a great job! I think it helps that you write in both Brooke's and Zach's perspective, so you're better poised to make the reader aware of everything that is happening in the story while still maintaining the intimacy of seeing directly through the characters' perspective.


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## Corey (Apr 13, 2020)

stevita said:


> I always write in 3rd limited because I find it so much more difficult to write in 1st without sounding repetitive. But you are doing a great job! I think it helps that you write in both Brooke's and Zach's perspective, so you're better poised to make the reader aware of everything that is happening in the story while still maintaining the intimacy of seeing directly through the characters' perspective.



Thank you for the encouragement.  I also think it’s easier since I’m writing from 2 perspectives. It’s been fun!


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## maltesefalcon (Apr 15, 2020)

happily_married said:


> a lot of first person novels do switch perspectives throughout. Like I mentioned James Patterson earlier, he’s mastered that technique. And has sold tens of millions of books, so obviously there’s a place for it!





Shotha said:


> We could have a competition to see who can write the excruciatingly worst short story.



How about this for a contender:

Once upon a time I knew this girl who was really skinny. Then she got fat. We all laughed.
The End


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## BigElectricKat (Apr 15, 2020)

Personally, I can only write stories from a fist person point of view. Obviously, my experience is limited and no one really likes what I write (except @wrenchboy ).

But I say, do as you feel and what makes you comfortable when writing. The good thing is that writing in first person, you only have to worry about one voice. Best of luck!!!!


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## Rojodi (Apr 15, 2020)

maltesefalcon said:


> How about this for a contender:
> 
> Once upon a time I knew this girl who was really skinny. Then she got fat. We all laughed.
> The End



Most of the cheerleaders I graduated high school with were that story 
Two I met at a BBW bash, and they were happier!


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## Shotha (Apr 15, 2020)

maltesefalcon said:


> How about this for a contender:
> 
> Once upon a time I knew this girl who was really skinny. Then she got fat. We all laughed.
> The End



Here's my excruciatingly worst short story.

Green slime flew out of the telly.
We all got very fat.
Next day everything went back to normal.


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## Corey (Apr 16, 2020)

Shotha said:


> Here's my excruciatingly worst short story.
> 
> Green slime flew out of the telly.
> We all got very fat.
> Next day everything went back to normal.



That’s not the equivalent length of a short story! What you wrote is a hallmark card!


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## Shotha (Apr 16, 2020)

Corey said:


> That’s not the equivalent length of a short story! What you wrote is a hallmark card!



@Corey You've been reading those rule books again.
Who gives rules about the minimum length of a short story?
And who would want such an excruciatingly bad story as this to be any longer?


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## wrenchboy (Apr 16, 2020)

BigElectricKat said:


> Personally, I can only write stories from a fist person point of view. Obviously, my experience is limited and no one really likes what I write (except @wrenchboy ).
> 
> But I say, do as you feel and what makes you comfortable when writing. The good thing is that writing in first person, you only have to worry about one voice. Best of luck!!!!



I am sure that many others have enjoyed your work but have not commented or put a like to it.
I published a story here that got very little feedback. Very frustrating. Was it good? I thought so or I wouldn't have published it. I did get a great deal of satisfaction writing it.
Unfortunately there are not many people on the Dims boards so that also lends to the small number of responses. 
I also only write from the first person. It brings more emotion when the story is told that way. Makes it more believable even if it is a purely fictional tale.


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## Corey (Apr 17, 2020)

Shotha said:


> @Corey You've been reading those rule books again.
> Who gives rules about the minimum length of a short story?
> And who would want such an excruciatingly bad story as this to be any longer?




You’re right, Shotha. I must have fallen on my head again and forgotten what we stand for. We are 🗣The Shitty Story Crew, 🗣 and we write good for nothing, terrible stories because we don’t follow the rules and we answer to no one because rules are for people who like to write good stories, which we don’t and I know this is a long, nonsensical run-on sentence, and to answer your question no I am not drunk, I’m just a rebellious human who only follows one rule: I use my turn signal when changing lanes and when turning. Turn signals are essential to everyone around us, and no one should break this rule, ever.


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## Shotha (Apr 17, 2020)

Corey said:


> You’re right, Shotha. I must have fallen on my head again and forgotten what we stand for. We are 🗣The Shitty Story Crew, 🗣 and we write good for nothing, terrible stories because we don’t follow the rules and we answer to no one because rules are for people who like to write good stories, which we don’t and I know this is a long, nonsensical run-on sentence, and to answer your question no I am not drunk, I’m just a rebellious human who only follows one rule: I use my turn signal when changing lanes and when turning. Turn signals are essential to everyone around us, and no one should break this rule, ever.



Rule books are for bad writers. Shakespeare never had a rule book.


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## jakemcduck (Apr 17, 2020)

Shotha said:


> Rule books are for bad writers. Shakespeare never had a rule book.


 That's so true. Nothing can ruin a good story like rules.


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## stevita (Apr 17, 2020)

Corey said:


> You’re right, Shotha. I must have fallen on my head again and forgotten what we stand for. We are 🗣The Shitty Story Crew, 🗣 and we write good for nothing, terrible stories because we don’t follow the rules and we answer to no one because rules are for people who like to write good stories, which we don’t and I know this is a long, nonsensical run-on sentence, and to answer your question no I am not drunk, I’m just a rebellious human who only follows one rule: I use my turn signal when changing lanes and when turning. Turn signals are essential to everyone around us, and no one should break this rule, ever.


Please tell this to every driver in Houston thx


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## Corey (Apr 18, 2020)

stevita said:


> Please tell this to every driver in Houston thx



🗣 OKAY LISTEN UP ALL YOU HOUSTON 
HOO-HAA’S WHO DON’T USE THEIR TURN SIGNAL...USE YOUR DAMN TURN SIGNAL or else you’ll have bad luck for 7 years. 🗣

I also sent emails out to everyone in Houston, you just didn’t get one because I figured you didn’t need a reminder. You should be good to go now.


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## landshark (Apr 18, 2020)

Hell, out here in the DC area a turn signal is the surest way to miss your turn. I’ve lived on the West Coast (Los Angeles, San Diego, Monterey, which involved a lot of trips/driving in the San Francisco area) and in the Denver area. This is the only place I’ve ever lived where people seem to respond to turn signals by pacing the car signaling in what appears to be a deliberate effort to prevent them from changing lanes.

I usually witness this on I-95, and as a result I’m halfway through a lane change before my signals comes on. East Coast drivers are assholes. In some ways I’m becoming one!


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## jakemcduck (Apr 18, 2020)

Yes, they do that in Houston too. It was the first place where I witnessed people stomping on the gas to cut you off when you hit your signal to change lanes.


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## landshark (Apr 18, 2020)

Back to the subject at hand,

I recently had the good fortune of recovering a partial draft of a story I’d initially started 5 years ago. I intended to convert this from a first person male perspective to a third person female but there are too many nuances for that. So im reworking it in its original perspective. Once complete I am going to focus on other voices because several of the stories I’ve been working on have been in first person.


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## maltesefalcon (Apr 18, 2020)

There is another very good reason for third person narrative.
The narration can provide some background explanation or technical/historical details that would not be available or would be absurd in first person.

It is much harder in film where most of the action is somewhat first or second person. Without an actual narrator (or cue subtexts) the movie can be so inside baseball no one knows what is going on.

For example in Saving Private Ryan, the main purpose of Private Upham is to insert a rookie who knows nothing so that the rest of the team can explain to him what they are doing and why.

However the entire movie is a _classic_ failure of first person narrative. The story begins with the older Ryan in a cemetery and flashes back first person literally through his eyes to Omaha Beach. But he was a paratrooper and was never there for the fight! Neither was Upham, a clerk typist. Most of the characters that filled the action up to the point where they actually found him were killed, so there would be little to no time for them to have told him what it was like either.

You will see on procedurals like CSI, where techs will use first person narrative to "explain" complicated details or technical to a colleague who would already know them. That's when you here the _Oh yeah that's right._ Or _This is not my first rodeo_.


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## landshark (Apr 18, 2020)

^ Film has other challenges that writing doesn’t though. The beauty of film is you don’t have to describe the setting, the film sort of does that for you. But it also costs a fortune to shoot a film whereas writing is cheap. So some of the background and technical stuff is easier explained in writing than in movies.
I’ll give screen writers a nod though. That’s not just writing, it’s writing for film. I think that would be an incredibly challenging art form.


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## Corey (Apr 18, 2020)

happily_married said:


> Hell, out here in the DC area a turn signal is the surest way to miss your turn. I’ve lived on the West Coast (Los Angeles, San Diego, Monterey, which involved a lot of trips/driving in the San Francisco area) and in the Denver area. This is the only place I’ve ever lived where people seem to respond to turn signals by pacing the car signaling in what appears to be a deliberate effort to prevent them from changing lanes.
> 
> I usually witness this on I-95, and as a result I’m halfway through a lane change before my signals comes on. East Coast drivers are assholes. In some ways I’m becoming one!



Dallas drivers are the same way, just rude and entitled with major road rage. People from Dallas are just terrible drivers in general.


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## landshark (Apr 18, 2020)

Corey said:


> Dallas drivers are the same way, just rude and entitled with major road rage. People from Dallas are just terrible drivers in general.



I was in Dallas for work a few years ago. After dinner with my boss and some colleagues the boss and I dialed up a LYFT. Guy pulls up in a busted up Camry with a plastic sheet taped up in place of one of the windows. I say, “sir get a load of this!” And he brushes me off saying, “Don’t worry about it, it’ll be fine!”

whatever. We get in and this jackass proceeds to get onto I-35 going down the OFFRAMP! The effing OFFRAMP!

I smack my boss on the shoulder and am like, “told you. Now we know why his car is all busted up!”


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## Corey (Apr 18, 2020)

wrenchboy said:


> I am sure that many others have enjoyed your work but have not commented or put a like to it.
> I published a story here that got very little feedback. Very frustrating. Was it good? I thought so or I wouldn't have published it. I did get a great deal of satisfaction writing it.
> Unfortunately there are not many people on the Dims boards so that also lends to the small number of responses.
> I also only write from the first person. It brings more emotion when the story is told that way. Makes it more believable even if it is a purely fictional tale.



I have also noticed that Dims readers hardly ‘like’ stories or comment on them, with the exception of a handful of stories. Even the stories that have a lot of reader views get little to know comments or ‘likes’. It baffles my mind. I lurked for several months before joining Dims, and after I did, I almost immediately began writing my own story. I haven’t read anyone else’s story since before then. BUT, in the future, when I do read a story I like, I will for sure let them know. Recreational writers deserve to know that others are enjoying their stories.

In fact, I’ll go ahead and list the authors whose stories I binge read, and then re-read again.

@agouderia- She was the first writer I saw on Dims. I’ve read all of her stories, but Energetic Expansions takes the cake for me, with 525 trailing closely behind. I bet I’ve read Energetic Expansions 5-6 times, and that thing is longer than a collection of encyclopedias. Her stories are well written with thought out characters and a wonderful plot line.

@Xyantha Reborn- I came across her stories shortly after I told myself I should probably branch out and step away from only reading agouderia’s stories. I fell in love with Xyantha’s strong female protagonists and I really appreciated her erotic approach. Besides her writing, I just love Xyantha as a person and how she gets others to join in on discussing intellectual things. She hasn’t signed on in a while, but I miss her! She was also the first person to reach out and encourage me through personal messages. She’s a gem!

@FleurBleu- I was still a lurker when she was finishing off The Improved You, but I waited very patiently and checked in almost daily for updates.

@Shh! Don’t tell!- I came across your story unintentionally and immediately got hooked. I related to both of your characters’ dry humor and wit, and I loved how you executed it with perfection.

@jakemcduck- I read your stories in DA maybe 4-5 years ago, way before I ever discovered Dims. I believe your story is called something close to Crossing the Chunky. Your story was the very first weight gain fiction I read where I didn’t cringe or get upset at because you didn’t make the weight gain seem unrealistic. Max’s character, . He did it for me.

Anyway, I’m going to go and put a ‘like’ on my favorite stories from these authors, just because they deserve it.


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## Corey (Apr 18, 2020)

maltesefalcon said:


> There is another very good reason for third person narrative.
> The narration can provide some background explanation or technical/historical details that would not be available or would be absurd in first person.
> 
> It is much harder in film where most of the action is somewhat first or second person. Without an actual narrator (or cue subtexts) the movie can be so inside baseball no one knows what is going on.
> ...



I never saw Saving Private Ryan, but I get what you’re saying. I shift between two characters, a wife and a husband, so it’s easier for background and other things to be told and understood. I also have my characters have flashbacks for backstory.


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## Corey (Apr 18, 2020)

happily_married said:


> I was in Dallas for work a few years ago. After dinner with my boss and some colleagues the boss and I dialed up a LYFT. Guy pulls up in a busted up Camry with a plastic sheet taped up in place of one of the windows. I say, “sir get a load of this!” And he brushes me off saying, “Don’t worry about it, it’ll be fine!”
> 
> whatever. We get in and this jackass proceeds to get onto I-35 going down the OFFRAMP! The effing OFFRAMP!
> 
> I smack my boss on the shoulder and am like, “told you. Now we know why his car is all busted up!”



I’m just sorry you had to ever witness I-35 as a visitor to Dallas.  No joke, I-35 is THE WORST, especially when you get near the college towns. The first time I drove on a highway alone was when I was almost 21 years old. I only took the backroads because Dallas drivers scared the living daylights out of me on the highways. When I moved away from home for college, it took me an extra hour and a half to get home just because of the backroads. I didn’t care.


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## jakemcduck (Apr 18, 2020)

Thank you so much, Corey! That means a lot to me. I was still learning to write when I wrote Crossing the Chunky but it's one that I enjoyed writing very much. I got the idea when I was driving on a route that often took me down I-59 in Mississippi and I kept seeing the sign for the Chunky River and I kept thinking, there's a story there. But thank you so much, you made my night. I hope you've enjoyed my other yarns as well. They're an ongoing project.


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## agouderia (Apr 21, 2020)

Thank you Corey for your comment - I'm much honored and touched.


I actually have been using some time in this crisis to pull together the loose ends of Alex&Alex's story, so I hope to finally finish it in the not too distant future. 

Regarding the general theme of this thread: 1st person fiction is a recognized and acclaimed literary genre - and I've also written some myself. 

Nevertheless, since I've started moderating the Dims Library here, I've developed a major allergy against it.

Why? From a plain empirical perspective, nothing here has a worse completion record than 1st person BBW stories. 

That probably has to do with writers starting a story after being majorly impressed or moved by something. That let's most of them get writing with a flourish without putting too much thought into the overall plot line or character development. 

Catching up on that after the initial inspiration is gone is much more difficult, especially for amateur writers with little time. 

We naturally also have some beautiful 1st person stories here on Dims, but if asked for advice to give to beginner writers of fat fiction, it would always be to start out with a subjective perspective 3rd person narrative and plot that well.


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## Salacious Caitlin (Apr 21, 2020)

First person is hard to write (as I work on the next chapter of my first-person novella...) I think writers tend to gravitate toward it because it seems easier, but the character really has to have a strong and unique voice or the narrative can become bland. A bit of unreliable narrator (the character isn't telling you everything/doesn't know everything/is wrong about stuff) helps.


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## Corey (Apr 21, 2020)

agouderia said:


> Thank you Corey for your comment - I'm much honored and touched.
> 
> 
> I actually have been using some time in this crisis to pull together the loose ends of Alex&Alex's story, so I hope to finally finish it in the not too distant future.
> ...



I have also noticed that writers tend to not finish their stories, and it always seems to be the best stories, too. I never realized that it was mostly first person narrative, though. Interesting!

Well, you can bet your bottom dollar that I will finish my story. I now have a steady plot line, but my current issue is finding the time and space to write my story with the brain energy needed for it to be good. I’ve been working on it every chance that I get, and I also have some future bits and chapters written so that I can add on when I reach that part (and tweak if needed). I just hate posting little entries here and there, but sometimes I have no other choice.

I’m so glad that Energetic Expansions will get its day of completion! I’m looking forward to it.


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## wrenchboy (Apr 21, 2020)

Not to toot my own horn, but my story was completed and edited before posting was started. And it was a first person story


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## Shotha (Apr 21, 2020)

Corey said:


> I have also noticed that writers tend to not finish their stories, and it always seems to be the best stories, too. I never realized that it was mostly first person narrative, though. Interesting!



This is why these days I always finish a story before I post it. However, because stories can take a lot of time to write, I publish them in installments. To me it just makes so little sense to spend months writing a story and then let the readers' enjoyment last but a single evening.


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## Shotha (Apr 21, 2020)

agouderia said:


> if asked for advice to give to beginner writers of fat fiction, it would always be to start out with a subjective perspective 3rd person narrative and plot that well.



Plot is very important in story writing. I have very strong feelings about this issue. A random series of events is not a story. Events should flow on from each other in terms of cause and effect. Time spent sketching the plot is time well spent. I never allow myself to use the "deus ex machina", which I regard as a sign of faulty plotting. I think that the plot should be thoroughly worked out, before writing even starts.


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## wrenchboy (Apr 22, 2020)

Shotha, you have a very good point there. When I first started writing my story I had a major(5 year) mental block. Some of the block is that I got to a point and didn't have any idea where I wanted to take the story. 
When I started writing again I had to take notes in an outline form because ideas were flowing faster than I was able to write.


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## Shotha (Apr 22, 2020)

wrenchboy said:


> Shotha, you have a very good point there. When I first started writing my story I had a major(5 year) mental block. Some of the block is that I got to a point and didn't have any idea where I wanted to take the story.
> When I started writing again I had to take notes in an outline form because ideas were flowing faster than I was able to write.



That's exactly the sort of outline that I mean, because I've had exactly the same problem with having to leave a story for a long time and then trying to pick up where I left off. An outline also gives you chance to make up that different threads of the time line fit together. I often write in the chapters of the story in the same document and then it's easy to see what I had planned and where to pick up the writing again.


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## maltesefalcon (Apr 28, 2020)

One of the best ways to ensure a good ending and a proper plot flow is to write the first chapter and the last chapter right away, then connect the dots with the rest of the characters and plotlines.


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## Corey (Apr 28, 2020)

maltesefalcon said:


> One of the best ways to ensure a good ending and a proper plot flow is to write the first chapter and the last chapter right away, then connect the dots with the rest of the characters and plotlines.



A few people have suggested this method to me via private message. I’m definitely going to do this for the next time. Thanks for the tip!


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## Shotha (Apr 28, 2020)

maltesefalcon said:


> One of the best ways to ensure a good ending and a proper plot flow is to write the first chapter and the last chapter right away, then connect the dots with the rest of the characters and plotlines.



This is a very good tip for beginners. It's another way of saying that a story should have a beginning, a middle and an end. In the beginning most of the main characters should be introduced and we should learn things about them, which will motivate them later on. The situation should be introduced in the beginning, such as aliens are about to invade, a deadly virus is sweeping the globe, Johnny and Jenny "like" each other or whatever. If the story involves magic, the rules by which the magic works should be introduced. In a sci-fi story, we should be introduce to the new science.

The middle of the story should be where most of the action takes place, e.g. how we deal with the invaders, how we fight against the virus, how Johnny and Jenny's relationship evolves.

The end should deal with how the situation is resolved, e.g. the invaders are destroyed or sent home, we discover a cure for the virus, Johnny and Jenny's wedding.


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## maltesefalcon (Apr 29, 2020)

I hope when that story is finished the cure does not involve self injecting with disinfectant...lol.


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## Shotha (Apr 29, 2020)

maltesefalcon said:


> I hope when that story is finished the cure does not involve self injecting with disinfectant...lol.



I can assure you that if I every write a story like that Donnie will be among the first to succumb to the pandemic. Anyway it's not the sort of story that I would write. I'd be more likely to write about a virus that makes people fat.


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## Corey (Apr 29, 2020)

“Donnie” hahaha!


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## Tad (May 4, 2020)

Really late getting into this discussion, and I have nothing particularly well thought out to add, but a few quick thoughts:

When I did my stint moderating the library, I began to think of 1st person perspective as the "fantasy perspective." As in, a lot of the stories that post here using it (or start to post here using it) seemed to be more-or-less erotic fantasies, and people wrote them from the perspective they imagined them. (and as Agouderia said, a lot never got finished. I thought of that as the story getting started in an erotic rush, and once their libido dropped they couldn't get back into turning it into a complete story)
Very clearly NOT all first person stories here are of that ^^^^ type. There are some great 1st person POV stories here that really are stories, not fantasies. And likewise there are some 3rd person POV stories that sure do look like fantasies and not stories.
There is a distinct plot rhythm difference between fantasies and stories, if you end up having to read a bunch of both of them. (and short story structure is a different thing than more traditional story structure ... but other far more educated than I on the topic might have some corrections to that statement?)
There is definitely a place here for well written erotic fantasies! They are a genre of their own, and hard to judge by the standards of stories, and probably don't hit as broad an audience as they rely on the reader sharing similar erotic fantasies, but they _can _be well done. It just doesn't happen as often.
I've not written diddly-squat in ages, for various reasons, but most of what I did write was 1st person. Mostly I made the mistake of having aspects of erotic fantasy and of story. Which mostly resulted in a mess, not succeeding very well as either a story or a fantasy due to the conflicting demands of plot pacing. (although I'm still fond of a few of them, despite their very many flaws)
I suspect that a lot of the less-readable posts in the library suffer from that same issue of taking a fantasy and trying to put it into a story structure.


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## Corey (May 4, 2020)

Tad said:


> Really late getting into this discussion, and I have nothing particularly well thought out to add, but a few quick thoughts:
> 
> When I did my stint moderating the library, I began to think of 1st person perspective as the "fantasy perspective." As in, a lot of the stories that post here using it (or start to post here using it) seemed to be more-or-less erotic fantasies, and people wrote them from the perspective they imagined them. (and as Agouderia said, a lot never got finished. I thought of that as the story getting started in an erotic rush, and once their libido dropped they couldn't get back into turning it into a complete story)
> Very clearly NOT all first person stories here are of that ^^^^ type. There are some great 1st person POV stories here that really are stories, not fantasies. And likewise there are some 3rd person POV stories that sure do look like fantasies and not stories.
> ...



As always, I appreciate your thoughts. I would like for my story to read more as a story to tell versus as an erotic fantasy. It’s hard to pay attention to the pacing and everything else it takes to create something I’d like for it to be, but it is what it is, I guess. I keep thinking back to how great my story could have been if I wrote it about 10 years ago when I was single and living quietly in the comforts of my apartment...kidless and no body to worry about but myself.  I’m glad to hear from you, and I hope all is well.


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## stevita (May 4, 2020)

Corey said:


> As always, I appreciate your thoughts. I would like for my story to read more as a story to tell versus as an erotic fantasy. It’s hard to pay attention to the pacing and everything else it takes to create something I’d like for it to be, but it is what it is, I guess. I keep thinking back to how great my story could have been if I wrote it about 10 years ago when I was single and living quietly in the comforts of my apartment...kidless and no body to worry about but myself.  I’m glad to hear from you, and I hope all is well.


Veering slightly off the topic of this thread, I think you having a family and knowing what it's like in real life lends the story a realistic perspective! 

Take all the time you need, we'll patiently await each update!


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## Corey (May 4, 2020)

stevita said:


> Veering slightly off the topic of this thread, I think you having a family and knowing what it's like in real life lends the story a realistic perspective!
> 
> Take all the time you need, we'll patiently await each update!



Ah, thanks for that, @stevita!


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## Tad (May 5, 2020)

Corey said:


> As always, I appreciate your thoughts. I would like for my story to read more as a story to tell versus as an erotic fantasy. It’s hard to pay attention to the pacing and everything else it takes to create something I’d like for it to be, but it is what it is, I guess. I keep thinking back to how great my story could have been if I wrote it about 10 years ago when I was single and living quietly in the comforts of my apartment...kidless and no body to worry about but myself.  I’m glad to hear from you, and I hope all is well.



The fact that you have continued it, developing the characters in various directions, shows that there is a lot more there than a fantasy. Nothing is 'pure' in type generally, and on a board like this we expect some erotic fantasy elements in our stories! But fantasies quickly enough ramp up intensity (often tossing all believability out the window near the end), and then are done. Having conflicts, resolving some and developing new ones, that is more the realm of stories. (but again I do want to make it clear that in my opinion, well done fantasies also have a place here. I'm all for encouraging quality and coherence of writing, but let's not be creative writing class purists too much)


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