# BBW "Wants" Thread



## Fascinita (Feb 27, 2009)

Dear BBWs of Dimensions: 

As ladies of size, we have often been criticized for taking up too much space, for wanting what we want (while we're told that we just can't have that man/job/family/dress/comfortable seat at the movie theater/whatever else you've been denied or been told you don't deserve because of your size), for just being different and standing out.

Few ask us what we desire... what we REALLY want from our lives.

My question to you is, if you could have it all your way...

*What do you want from your life? What in your wildest dreams would you like your life to be like? *

And if you have the life you want _now_, please share with us what that life is like. What do you love about it, and how do _you_ define happiness?

Thanks, and have a good evening.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 27, 2009)

At this point in time, I just want to be thin. 

But be able to keep my boobs....and have a JLo ass....so I can look good in my aggressions and man hating


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## LillyBBBW (Feb 27, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> Dear BBWs of Dimensions:
> 
> As ladies of size, we have often been criticized for taking up too much space, for wanting what we want (while we're told that we just can't have that man/job/family/dress/comfortable seat at the movie theater/whatever else you've been denied or been told you don't deserve because of your size), for just being different and standing out.
> 
> ...



I want to be able to purchase medical insurance so I can quit my sedentary job and pursue music full time like my peers.


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## Keb (Feb 27, 2009)

I want a husband who loves me, children to nurture (a few of my own, and I'd also like to be a foster mother--those kids need love more than most), a chance to have my novels published, and the time and money to devote to a good Renn Faire. (I'm sneaking the last in, time and money or no, right now.) 

I'm probably asking for too much, but that's what I really want.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 27, 2009)

Keb said:


> I want a husband who loves me, children to nurture (a few of my own, and I'd also like to be a foster mother--those kids need love more than most), a chance to have my novels published, and the time and money to devote to a good Renn Faire. (I'm sneaking the last in, time and money or no, right now.)
> 
> I'm probably asking for too much, but that's what I really want.



Good post Keb. Thank you  :bow:


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## kayrae (Feb 27, 2009)

I want love. I want to recover from my sexual abuse. I want a healthy relationship with a man. I want to be able to fully enjoy my sexuality.


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## AnnMarie (Feb 27, 2009)

There are things I want, but they're not because I'm a fat woman, so I don't think they're thread relevant.

I don't find myself wanting much as a fat woman... although I'd love to feel light as air, but still be "me". It would be so cool to be weightless while carrying about daily life in the big bod. 

But, my life is good... and some of that is because of the big bod, so I'm good.... like a good hand in blackjack - I'll stand.


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## SparkGirl (Feb 27, 2009)

_*Great thread! 

I wish I knew what I am going to be when I "grow up". I've never really figured out what I'm good at. It would be nice to have a career that I really enjoyed.

*_*In case my employer reads this, I LOOOOVVVEE my job, never want to leave, my whole reason for being, the reason I jump out of bed in the morning!!! Happy to have a job, in this economy, seriously.


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## elle camino (Feb 27, 2009)

bringing it way back towards the shallow end of the pool: i want to talk into a store full of gorgeous clothes - or even just clothes that don't make me barf a little in my own mouth, be able to take anything down off the rack that i want, and not wind up in a dressing room full of things i could barely cram one leg into. 
clothes aren't just a means of not being naked, to me. i fucking LOVE clothes. being in a store that dead seriously makes my heart explode with happiness everywhere i turn (like this one, up my block) and knowing that absolutely not one thing made of cloth in the whole place will ever fit me, makes me more sad than is probably sane. but there you have it. 

want.


doesn't stop me from thumbing through every rack i pass, though.


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## AnnMarie (Feb 27, 2009)

elle camino said:


> bringing it way back towards the shallow end of the pool: i want to talk into a store full of gorgeous clothes - or even just clothes that don't make me barf a little in my own mouth, be able to take anything down off the rack that i want, and not wind up in a dressing room full of things i could barely cram one leg into.
> clothes aren't just a means of not being naked, to me. i fucking LOVE clothes. being in a store that dead seriously makes my heart explode with happiness everywhere i turn (like this one, up my block) and knowing that absolutely not one thing made of cloth in the whole place will ever fit me, makes me more sad than is probably sane. but there you have it.
> 
> want.
> ...




Okay, I'll want this as well. It's a good one. I'm all about shallow end if I get something cute for the trip.


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## Fascinita (Feb 27, 2009)

AnnMarie said:


> I don't find myself wanting much as a fat woman... although I'd love to feel light as air, but still be "me". It would be so cool to be weightless while carrying about daily life in the big bod.



I'm kind of in the same position: Pretty happy with the life I've been able to make for myself so far. And I love the curves and the fattitude I've developed over time, though I could do without some of the joint pain and the feeling that I am slower than I used to be when I have to climb a hill or stairs. 

So, yeah, to be light as air (and keep the bod) for me, too. :happy:


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## Smushygirl (Feb 27, 2009)

I have spent a good deal of my life taking care of others, so now I want some of the good stuff.

My dream is to have enough ground to have a fragrant garden, full of old style roses, peonies, and fragrant vines, like honeysuckle. And of course the time to tend it! I would love to grow vegetables as well.

I also want a lover that I can trust and share lots of orgasms.


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## olwen (Feb 27, 2009)

I'm too young I think to have severe arthritis so I want that to go away.

I want to do competitive body building. 

I want to find the right guy.

I want to be rich enough to be able to leave my family members lot's of moulah if I die before them. Which means I'd have to have the perfect career, whatever that is...lol, I'm honestly not sure yet. So I want to know what that is too.

I would also like unlimited lifetime drm free downloads from iTunes and amazon, and enough hard drives to store a lifetime's worth of music, so I'd have a kick ass record collection.

ETA: I also want a house boat. I think that might be kinda cool....


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## largenlovely (Feb 27, 2009)

Wow what a good thread and question..

Ideally..

I would like to meet someone who is my best friend, get married, teach piano and music lessons from our home and go on some fabulous vacation every year or year and a half. 

I didn't think that was asking too much, but apparently it is lol


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## BubbleButtBabe (Feb 28, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> Dear BBWs of Dimensions:
> 
> As ladies of size, we have often been criticized for taking up too much space, for wanting what we want (while we're told that we just can't have that man/job/family/dress/comfortable seat at the movie theater/whatever else you've been denied or been told you don't deserve because of your size), for just being different and standing out.
> 
> ...



Love,peace and prosperity.

My wildest dreams hmmmmmmm,I would love to write good romance novels and not just the short stories I some times do. Plus have enough money in the world to have clothes tailored to fit me like they should!


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 28, 2009)

I suppose I'm feeling like some of you others with your real/serious responses have shamed me into being serious, too 

I want all of my girls to get an education, grow into strong, confident, lovely people that achieve whatever it is they want to achieve in life.I want to see them walk down the aisle- but only with people that love them for who they are and how they deserve...if they even want to get married. I want to see my grandchildren...if they choose to have children. I see so many bright things in the future...and I thank my daughters for this life we have together. It is so much better than I dreamed of or thought I deserve. 
My oldest wasn't as keen on the idea of her being the first person on Mars as I was though.....:doh:

I want them to remember me as a strong mother that protected them and guided them correctly. I also hope they forgive me of all my shortcomings/failures...and unconventionality. 

More education and to travel...I long for these things. To find a niche where I can work and help others....I feel kind of dead ended at this job I have now though it pays the bills so I don't complain. 

I want to meet many people.....and learn things from them. I would also like to think that at the end of my life, perhaps I taught others something good/useful.

And yeah....when I'm over the hurt and soul searching....when/if I am ever done making stupid mistakes....then perhaps it would be nice to have a real friend/lover again....but next time with no co-dependency or abuse. Don't know if I really deserve such a thing....it's a privilege in some ways.
Wherever this life and the creator takes me is where I will land.

Last week, I told my brother that I forgive him.....realizing that I had heard his apologies many times.....but it occurred to me that he still holds the guilt. I spoke the words to absolve him of it....wondering why I had over looked doing so sooner. Perhaps, just recently, I have finally found the real forgiveness that I only thought I had found before. I want to forgive all of them...and make right all those relationships. No more clinging or hurting...it's good to be free and feel this inner contentment. It's all important...because I ultimately want to forgive myself and be the person I am meant to be


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## Weeze (Feb 28, 2009)

I'm gonna be shallow too.
I really, really, REALLY wish that "real" people found me, well, attractive.
I'm getting kinda tired of being the fat friend sitting NEXT TO the girl getting asked out. 
Eh, whatever.

I'd like to be able to get a $20 bathing suit that I can actually try on in a store, instead of guessing at a $60 one on the internet.

There are others, I just can't think of them 

I *am* totally comfortable with my body and everything about it... there are just some days, you know?


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## olwen (Feb 28, 2009)

largenlovely said:


> Wow what a good thread and question..
> 
> Ideally..
> 
> ...



Poof. You are now Lois Griffin. You can thank me later. LOL

Also, I want to be able to wear high heeled shoes without pain. Then I'd have a closet full of shoes. I'd be a total shoe whore, and Kenneth Cole and Steve Madden would love me. Okay, they'd have to make shoes in my size first....Okay I want to be able to wear high heeled shoes without pain and I want to be able to find them in my size anywhere I go.


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## MamaLisa (Feb 28, 2009)

krismiss said:


> I'm gonna be shallow too.
> I really, really, REALLY wish that "real" people found me, well, attractive.
> I'm getting kinda tired of being the fat friend sitting NEXT TO the girl getting asked out.
> Eh, whatever.



Firstly.. there is nothing shallow about that.. it makes us feel good and we all want to feel good about ourselves right?!

I used to feel like that hun.. but ive come to understand that everyone is different and so are their needs and wants...

if the girl next to me is getting asked out.. then great for her and for the person asking her out.. Me personally am certain that there is someone out there for me... even if it takes longer... id rather have quality than quantity...

australia is the most pretentious country when it comes to guys liking anything over a size 10.. guys are skinny mad here! so i understand where ur coming from..

Ive had many "real" people find me attractive.. and some of them even surprised themselves.. the thing is i know im sexy.. i know im happy... i know im successful.. and i know ill find the right person some day.. if i didnt know that attraction within myself.. how is anyone else expected to...???

if you know it.. there is no need for "eh, whatever".. its "yes i am.. or Yes i can or yes i will" and im certain u can have everything you want love!:kiss2:
*
Me personally..* id love to have a partner that loves me for all that i am and can be for them.. 

enough $$$ to pay for things comfortably without freaking out about having to pay bills.. and enough to travel once a year

a good job that i actually want to get up and go to in the morning..

and to have a BMI of around 30-40.. currently its 75.

support and love of friends and family always

to go on tour with prince :wubu:

all of this and im the happiest person in the world lol  :smitten: :bow:


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## largenlovely (Feb 28, 2009)

hahahahhaha i never even made that connection before. No wonder i love that show so much ...but c'mon, do i have to talk with that nasal tone? lol



olwen said:


> Poof. You are now Lois Griffin. You can thank me later. LOL


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## lemonadebrigade (Feb 28, 2009)

Right now, I'm trying to get to the point where I can take a good look at myself and like what I see. I want the confidence and courage to go after the things I'm passionate about in life, but I know it's going to take a lot of hard work from me. I want to get involved in animal conservation/welfare sometime in the future. My ultimate goal is just to live a full and happy life, and feel comfortable in my own skin.


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## MamaLisa (Feb 28, 2009)

lemonadebrigade said:


> Right now, I'm trying to get to the point where I can take a good look at myself and like what I see. I want the confidence and courage to go after the things I'm passionate about in life, but I know it's going to take a lot of hard work from me. I want to get involved in animal conservation/welfare sometime in the future. My ultimate goal is just to live a full and happy life, and feel comfortable in my own skin.



babe.. ur so brave just saying all that.. its obvious that all u want is only a hop skip and jump away.. being that conscious of what you want.. means its not far away 

i wish u luck and love hun xx


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## chocolate desire (Feb 28, 2009)

I want to be back to the size I was when I was 25. Have someone in my life that I can share my every thought or feelings. To have my home in Fl and be a beach bum at least 3 days a week.
All of that is a work in progress.


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## lemonadebrigade (Feb 28, 2009)

MamaLisa said:


> babe.. ur so brave just saying all that.. its obvious that all u want is only a hop skip and jump away.. being that conscious of what you want.. means its not far away
> 
> i wish u luck and love hun xx



Thank you, that means a lot to me.


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## goofy girl (Feb 28, 2009)

kayrae said:


> I want love. I want to recover from my sexual abuse. I want a healthy relationship with a man. I want to be able to fully enjoy my sexuality.



I want this for kayrae


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## goofy girl (Feb 28, 2009)

This was really difficult to do-

-I want to be responsible with food and not polish off every box/bag/container of everything that comes into the house in one sitting

-I want to, if I do happen to finish off goodies in one sitting, to not cry about it out of guilt, frustration and anger after I do

-I want my husband to know that no matter what he says, it's not going to change how I feel about myself until I finally have the willpower to change myself. I love him, I know he loves me..and I love me, but I want to be HAPPY with myself. Now I feel more like I do about people I know..the ones that you love because they're family, but you hate what they do/how they act/ who they are....

-I want people to be more accepting of fat people. I know that I'm my own worst enemy, but the constant looks and comments from strangers, (ok..and comments from my own [fat] mother) certainly don't help

-I want to sit down next to people on a bus or train and not feel like I have to apologize for it

-I want to not be nervous about meeting new people because I'm afraid they will think that I am grotesque

That's all for now


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## butch (Feb 28, 2009)

I want to see people who look like us show up in our media outlets as 'real people,' and not just headless fatties or the butt of the joke or the self-loathing dieter.

I also want Angelina Jolie to clone herself, and then have that clone gain 100-200 pounds, and then have that clone devote her life to me. :blush:

And have that clone bring along the Brad Pitt clone, same process, lol.


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## Tooz (Feb 28, 2009)

elle camino said:


> bringing it way back towards the shallow end of the pool: i want to talk into a store full of gorgeous clothes - or even just clothes that don't make me barf a little in my own mouth, be able to take anything down off the rack that i want, and not wind up in a dressing room full of things i could barely cram one leg into.
> clothes aren't just a means of not being naked, to me. i fucking LOVE clothes. being in a store that dead seriously makes my heart explode with happiness everywhere i turn (like this one, up my block) and knowing that absolutely not one thing made of cloth in the whole place will ever fit me, makes me more sad than is probably sane. but there you have it.
> 
> want.
> ...




This is me.


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## Keb (Feb 28, 2009)

May I add one little thing? I want to be able to go to a shoe store and buy shoes that fit--and look good, too. 

Being a size that women's shoes aren't sold in is waaaaaaaaaaay worse than not being able to find clothes. Clothes, I can sew.


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## supersoup (Feb 28, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> Dear BBWs of Dimensions:
> 
> As ladies of size, we have often been criticized for taking up too much space, for wanting what we want (while we're told that we just can't have that man/job/family/dress/comfortable seat at the movie theater/whatever else you've been denied or been told you don't deserve because of your size), for just being different and standing out.
> 
> ...



i think this is a really interesting question.

as a woman of considerable size, i'd like the following...

*the clothes thing, bob yes, the clothes. to fit. and look great!!
*for people to not scold their children when they look at me...let them see! fat is fat, thin is thin, don't make it taboo.
*to be given a nod of acknowledgment instead of a stare of disgust when you see me walking towards you.
*to be allowed to be the confident fatty i am, and not have people think i need to be ashamed of it instead.
*for fat to no longer be a four letter word.
*for men to approach me respectfully and with creep status on off. this isn't a huge problem, but in talking to other women, something that seems fatcentric...i don't know if it stems from the thought we as fat women should 'appreciate' any attention given to us at all, or what. alas, another topic for another time...

just as myself, fat body aside, i want to be happy. if that is with someone else, then fantastic, if not, that's okay too. i want to be someone's everything someday, if all falls in line with someone else above. i want to be known as someone that's positive, does everything she can for her fellow man, someone that didn't just stay mediocre and under the radar forever.


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## OneWickedAngel (Feb 28, 2009)

*{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Goofy Girl }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

*Oh Goofy hon, I have so been here! I wish you all that you've asked for and more! 

Somewhere in my mid-30s I had a really bad week as a fat girl. I was on my way to a job interview and the self-confidence I had when I applied for the job was shot to shit. It seemed everyone (family/friends/strangers) had taken serious pot-shots at me in previous days before and I was on the verge of a melt-down because of it. I was telling myself that I wouldn't get the job because all they are going to see is one big fat woman and I didn't deserve it any way etc. (You know the hateful stuff we tell ourselves.)

I was passing by a new office building where the ground floor had a section of angled smoked semi-reflective glass walls. I noticed a five second quick refection of another BBW who was walking a short distance behind me. I remembered thinking to myself at the time _Now check her out! __She's stepping like she already owns the world. Nicely put together, her shades look better on her than mine do on me and hair is not a flipping mess like mine...._ As I thought that last part naturally my hand went up to my hair and then the oddest thing happened. Just as I was out of range of seeing her reflection I noticed _her_ hand had went up to fix her own hair. I stopped cold. I then stepped back to the last wall I had just passed and nearly broke down for an entirely different reason. As others passed around me I realized the odd angles of the glass walls created multiple reflections that threw off one's sense of perception. That self-confident wakling, nicely put together, cool shades, hair in place woman was _ME_?!?!?! It took quite a moment for that doozy to sink in.Suffice to say I nailed the interview! I later turned them down because they low-balled on the salary and I knew  what I was worth. 

And by no means am I saying my fat-ittude change was an over night miracle. Lord knows it was not! It took a lot of years to get to that near breaking point in my psyche. Luckily it did not take quite as many to rebuild myself. I didn't realize it on that day, but I know for a fact now that that was the day the first very dim light slowly turned on. As learned to reach for it got brighter and for me. There have been set backs, but piece by piece I have found my peace. 

_*Above all I wish that wonderful, wonderful moment for all of you who are still searching - you deserve to have the gut and the glory!! *_


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## OneWickedAngel (Feb 28, 2009)

As for my current wants:

The grand long term wants: To build a life for myself where I'm: 

Prosperous enough monetarily to have a very comfortable life in which I don't have to worry about my bills and yet be able to travel to someplace glorious every year. Just not so rich and famous that TMZ is in my face every time I open my damn door - lol.

Prosperous enough personally do a major acts of hands-on giving back to others on a regular basis (say a month with Doctors w/o Borders or a complete building stint with Habitat for Humanity). 

Prosperous enough career wise where I love what I do and can still maintain both of the above without a problem. 

The immediate wants: A closet the size of Carrie's dream closet from the _Sex in the City_ movie LOL! 

Elle Camino: With you on the clothes. I hate seeing items in smaller sizes that I know I would look absolutely _PHIERCE_ in but doesn't come any where near my size. 

Olwen & Keb: SO with you on the shoes. I want a nice supportive heel that fits and isn't pinky thin and/or looks like something worn by a pole dancer. Ooh - and Santa? A pair of LEATHER, 3 inch heeled, crotch high, zip-up boots that actually fit around my upper thighs would be freaking divine!


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 28, 2009)

lemonadebrigade said:


> Right now, I'm trying to get to the point where I can take a good look at myself and like what I see. I want the confidence and courage to go after the things I'm passionate about in life, but I know it's going to take a lot of hard work from me. I want to get involved in animal conservation/welfare sometime in the future. My ultimate goal is just to live a full and happy life, and feel comfortable in my own skin.





MamaLisa said:


> babe.. ur so brave just saying all that.. its obvious that all u want is only a hop skip and jump away.. being that conscious of what you want.. means its not far away
> 
> i wish u luck and love hun xx



I tried to rep both of you....I will have to come back 



goofy girl said:


> I want this for kayrae



As do I....she deserves it and can have it all  



supersoup said:


> *to be allowed to be the confident fatty i am, and not have people think i need to be ashamed of it instead.
> *for fat to no longer be a four letter word.



Exactly. It's hard to stay strong in a world where people always approach you as if they pity you or think they need to "help" you somehow. 



OneWickedAngel said:


> *{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Goofy Girl }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
> 
> *Oh Goofy hon, I have so been here! I wish you all that you've asked for and more!
> 
> ...



Thank you for sharing this life changing moment. It was wonderful to read. :bow:


@goofy girl - I know where you're at....I know it well. Can I point you towards some books that helped me? I have an eating disorder and I am a food addict. 

Overcoming Overeating: Living Free In A World Of Food 
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Overcoming-Overeating/Jane-R-Hirschmann/e/9780201122190

My Name is Caroline
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0595129129/?tag=skimlinks_replacement-20 

and apparently she has written another one I haven't read yet:

I'm Still Caroline
http://www.imstillcaroline.com/

and one that I really liked, too:

Fat is a Feminist Issue
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0425099202/?tag=skimlinks_replacement-20

@Fascinita- I love this thread. Wonderful idea- Thank you for making it :bow:


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## ValentineBBW (Feb 28, 2009)

My wants:

*The clothes and shoes thing &#8211; ditto. It is beyond frustrating to buy cute clothes and shoes.

Less aches and pains, too often I feel like I am 94 rather than 34

To eat what I want and not gain weight.

Good health for all

That traveling would be easier/cheaper

Acceptance for fatties (for all really).

I want to win the lottery. OR have enough money so I can live comfortably. 

**I want to be desired. Want me as I am right now; looks, personality, etc. I want to love and be loved and spend my life with someone.

**I want friends, especially fat friends who live near me. I am so tired of not having anyone to hang around with.

**If I can’t have fat friends live near me, then I want to live somewhere that has a plethora of fatties and those who like fatties


Ultimately it would be easier to say “oh I want to be thin” but thinness does not always equal happiness, although it would make so many things easier. But thin is not who I am/have been/or will be.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 28, 2009)

Lol, I want to win the lottery, too. YOU HAVE TO WAIT FOR ME TO WIN FIRST VALENTINE  


I also feel the same about health and traveling.


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## bexy (Feb 28, 2009)

Its been mentioned before, but in terms of my being fat what I would love in my life would be:

-the same choice of clothing as slimmer women, for all stores to carry all styles in all sizes. I hate the fact that I completely have to write off like 85% of stores. It hurts me. I want to dress and look a certain way but can't, and my clothes are always more expensive.

-for people to just not insult me. For strangers on the street to stop thinking its ok to shout abuse at me out of car windows, or point at me in supermarket.

-for the medical profession to stop blaming fat for EVERYTHING....

-for seatbelts to be bigger. I can fit into car seats, plane seats etc but sometimes struggle with seatbelts.


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## Fascinita (Feb 28, 2009)

I will add that I also want love and an emotional connection with another, based on mutual respect and a deep understanding.

And I want stability and to put down roots somewhere.

And sometimes I think if I can find it all before I'm old and feeble , that I also have enough love to give to a child, whether my own or adopted.


It's strange how I feel that I have to qualify all of that by saying something ironic or sarcastic about how "We can all dream" or "Hope springs eternal."

The truth is, I've seldom felt like anyone might be interested in hearing what it is I want: I've always known exactly what I wanted, but growing up was not allowed to express it. Old habits die hard.

I guess this thread is cool that way, at least speaking for myself.

PS - Caroline, I won $2 playing the lottery yesterday, which is what the card cost me to begin with. So don't knock it! 

PPS - I'm never playing the lottery again. What a swindle.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Feb 28, 2009)

I want to be either thin or a billionaire, either would be nice.


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## ValentineBBW (Feb 28, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> The truth is, I've seldom felt like anyone might be interested in hearing what it is I want: I've always known exactly what I wanted, but growing up was not allowed to express it.



This resonated with me, big time. I've always felt this way which is why I think I don't ask for much, post much, talk much. 

I hear you Fascinita


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## largenlovely (Feb 28, 2009)

it did me too so much that i had to give rep for that sentence alone, even though the entire thread deserved it anyway...

it's sad but there are only a handfull of people in this lifetime who ever REALLY want to get to know you. Though i suppose since it's so rare you really appreciate it when it does happen.



Fascinita said:


> The truth is, I've seldom felt like anyone might be interested in hearing what it is I want: I've always known exactly what I wanted, but growing up was not allowed to express it. Old habits die hard.





ValentineBBW said:


> This resonated with me, big time. I've always felt this way


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## goofy girl (Feb 28, 2009)

Oh I would also like to be able to fall down and not have to spend 10 minutes on the ground trying to think of a strategy to get myself back up lol (I fall down A LOT)


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## AtlantisAK (Feb 28, 2009)

I want a nice, cozy little one or two bedroom home for myself. A comfortable one with lots of nooks and crannies that I can hide in and read a book or take a nice little. I've always loved the secret passages that my grandmother's old house used to have. You could just hide and feel so secure in a nice quiet passageway. 
The place -has- to have a pool or a hot tub...or even a large sized claw-foot tub that I can float and lounge in all day if I wanted..I love swimming so much. I want a room dedicated and set up specifically for my hobbies. I want a sewing table set up, an artist's easle and table ready to just pick up and paint on...etcetra. It also has to have a large kitchen outfitted with everything a good cook needs!
A car would be wonderful, something with lots of room for my stuff and me. The specific brand doesnt matter, as long as it works!
I have a job now, but I would love to make a living as a photographer or an artist. Or...owning my own little business.
I want more killer fashions like the skinny girls have! I don't want to have to look to the ends of the earth to get the things that I'm looking for. 
I want to never receive a nasty comment or look from anyone else again.
There are a lot of things that make my ideal world, but these are a few I can think of right now.


----------



## ashmamma84 (Feb 28, 2009)

I've been blessed with a pretty good life so far and have been able to do most of what I wanted. 

One of the things I really want for the future is to be able to find the time to get my plus size clothing line/boutique off the ground. It's not a career ambition as I already have one of those, but something I'm really passionate about and always have had a knack for. That and getting a high fashion plus size magazine in print -- Mode was nice but there isn't anything on newspaper stands today that is even close. 

In the not so distant future,

I want to build a home with my partner that is truly a reflection of us and the love we share.

I also want to have a big, beautiful, brown babies with my partner. 

Build quite an extensive art collection from our travels around the globe

...more to come later


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## olwen (Feb 28, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> I will add that I also want love and an emotional connection with another, based on mutual respect and a deep understanding.
> 
> And I want stability and to put down roots somewhere.
> 
> ...



This part resonated with me too. Tho I wonder how much of that has to do with my size and how much to do with just me. It's part of the reason I dropped creative writing as a major. I felt like I didn't have anything interesting to say - even tho people sometimes said otherwise. It's only now over a decade later that I'm realizing that yeah, I might have something interesting to say after all. Old habits do die hard.


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## mergirl (Feb 28, 2009)

butch said:


> I want to see people who look like us show up in our media outlets as 'real people,' and not just headless fatties or the butt of the joke or the self-loathing dieter.
> 
> I also want Angelina Jolie to clone herself, and then have that clone gain 100-200 pounds, and then have that clone devote her life to me. :blush:
> 
> And have that clone bring along the Brad Pitt clone, same process, lol.


haha Brilliant! i wish i had a cloning machine.


----------



## yourpersonalpenguin (Feb 28, 2009)

I took my time reading each and every post and now it's my turn. gosh am I going to need to think this one through.

What I want:

I want to not fear men. I like guys! I want to have a special man in my life who loves everything about me, BUT I don't want to flinch when he touches me or whimper when he takes his belt off or cry when he yells or not be able to stare into his eyes. I don't want to shake when I talk to him about my feelings. I want to be free of fear.

I am extremely independent. I don't rely on other people. I rarely trust others and I care for those few people I do trust. 

I want to find and allow someone to take some of the load off my shoulders. I want someone to take care of me as much I take care of them. I want a relationship that is TRULY 50/50. 

I want to cuddle(I never have). I think it is one of the most intimate things in the world. To LET someone hold you. To allow someone to see every single one of your flaws along with your beauty. To trust someone enough to fall asleep in their arms. to ultimately say I am yours. be good to me. I trust to you to do that. I am giving you my all which is just me in my most innocent state. love me. I love you.

obviously A LOT of my wants center around relationships.

I want to not feel like I have to hide when the not so great parts of me show. I am SO good at putting the best me out there when I meet people, but when I'm not my best, I shield others from it. I want friends who are there through thick and thin. I just want to meet some amazing people in my life.

I want to provide the best for my daughter. I want to prepare myself to go out into the world being able to give her everything she deserves. 

I want to make enough money to support my child while doing something that I LOVE. I like to make a difference in the world esp. in the lives of children.

I want to be able to go to school just to learn. I don't want there to be another motive there such as seeking a degree to get a well paying job. I just want to enjoy learning for everything it offers. 

I don't want to feel so broken and fragile. I don't want to feel so weak, so small. I want mental health. I want peace in my life and in myself. I want to feel safe for just one day. I want to slow down, stop running from everything. I want to feel strong, powerful, wonderful, beautiful, smart and amazing. I want to be happy. 

And I want to be an inspiration in others lives. I want to share my story and I want to make a positive impact in the lives of everyone I meet. Everyone has a story to share and I will make the time to sit down and hear yours because I can learn something new from everyone and everything if I just listen. 

My wants do and don't have anything/everything to do with my weight. There is so much more going on inside me. I like my outside. We all have our days, but most days I like my appearance. I think I am pretty. It is my insides that I question all the time. My physche(sp?) has been messed with a lot. I have so much doubt and fear. I feel that my personality is so flawed. 

So there is a little sneak peak into the mind of a penguin. Not sure you even wanted to see all that goes inside of me, but there it is. My wants.


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## Fascinita (Feb 28, 2009)

I keep adding to this. 

I also want more people in my real world life with whom to share good times and good things. I love Dimensions, and I guess I want some of the kinds of connections that I find here in virtual space in my realtime life.

Also, flowers. 

Why not?


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 28, 2009)

Yeah, it's been a long time since someone sent me flowers...though my Mom does occasionally pick me some or splits one of those bouquets from the grocery store with me. I still want some from a man....what a picky, ungrateful wench I can be....:doh: 



@Penguin - Welcome to the Forums.....I look forward to seeing more posts by you


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## largenlovely (Feb 28, 2009)

me toooooo...years upon years ago

it's such a simple gesture..i guess guys figure giving flowers is typical, but i loooove flowers. 



Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Yeah, it's been a long time since someone sent me flowers


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## Punkin1024 (Feb 28, 2009)

First, thanks Fasc for this wonderful thread topic.

I have been moved by so many of the posts I've read thus far. I also feel a connection to many of you because we share the same or very similar wants and desires for our lives. Now here's mine:

- I also want to be able to find clothes and shoes that fit me to a T. Sewing is out of the question for me, I just don't have the knack and finding someone to alter clothing for me (at a reasonable price) is also impossible. I also have an impossible shoe size (5 1/2 WW) and I'd love to be able to find shoes that fit at places like Famous Shoes or Payless. As it is, my selection is very limited and I have to buy from catalogs at very high prices.

- I want all of my friends and family to accept me as is and not always be discussing diets, losing weight for my health, or saying this "That's too fattening, let's find something else you can eat." 

- I want to be 20 years younger, so all that comes with getting older wouldn't be in my life right now. 

- I want to be able to afford to travel anytime I want. 

- I especially want to be able to afford going to the Dimensions Bash.

- I'd love to have "fat" friends to hang out with. Perhaps some of you that are looking to move or chang careers would consider a move to Abilene, Texas.

- I'd love to have a job that I look forward to everyday and that pays well enough so I could be comfortable and not have to worry about bills all the time.

- I want to find a really good MD that looks at my health problems for the actual cause of the problems instead of blaming my weight for everything. Also, I'd like to find one that doesn't try to push diet pills on me everytime I go in for a check-up.

- I want my husband to be pain-free again and our lives to pick up where they left off before his back pain became so bad that every waking moment was painfull for him.

There's probably more I could say, but I think that is enough for now.


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## MamaLisa (Feb 28, 2009)

OneWickedAngel said:


> *{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Goofy Girl }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
> 
> *Oh Goofy hon, I have so been here! I wish you all that you've asked for and more!
> 
> ...



You are so very special darling.. im just crazy aboutcha.... wonderful story!


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## MamaLisa (Feb 28, 2009)

Keb said:


> May I add one little thing? I want to be able to go to a shoe store and buy shoes that fit--and look good, too.
> 
> Being a size that women's shoes aren't sold in is waaaaaaaaaaay worse than not being able to find clothes. Clothes, I can sew.



I agree hun.. im 6'1" and depending on the shoe can be a size 11-12..

ive just stuck to wearing sneakers because they are easier to find.. i gave up on finding shoes a long time ago


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## SparklingBBW (Feb 28, 2009)

I want my mom back. 

.


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## sugarmoore (Feb 28, 2009)

wow good question! i asked myself the same thing when i was going through my seperation, and i came up with...going to pastry school, starting my own web site, and having sex with a F.A. and ive already done two...im in pastry chef school and i have the web site. school is challenging physically, but im just not willing to fail at this! so even though its not comfortable its worth it. as for that last wish......well you never know what tomarrow holds


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## sugarmoore (Feb 28, 2009)

butch said:


> I want to see people who look like us show up in our media outlets as 'real people,' and not just headless fatties or the butt of the joke or the self-loathing dieter.
> 
> I also want Angelina Jolie to clone herself, and then have that clone gain 100-200 pounds, and then have that clone devote her life to me. :blush:
> 
> And have that clone bring along the Brad Pitt clone, same process, lol.



yup...awsome


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## BeaBea (Feb 28, 2009)

Health and happiness for my family please.

And for me, hmm, the ability to wear high heels and to skip along with an effortlessly, elegant walk would be lovely pleasethankyou 

Tracey xx


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## elle camino (Feb 28, 2009)

Punkin1024 said:


> I also have an impossible shoe size (5 1/2 WW)


completely random interjection but OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS YOUR FEET ARE LITTLE _SQUARES_!! 
that is probably the most uniquely adorable shoe size i have ever heard of. 
i'm sure it's a massive pain in the neck finding shoes, but AWWW! squarefeet!


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## Tooz (Feb 28, 2009)

elle camino said:


> completely random interjection but OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS YOUR FEET ARE LITTLE _SQUARES_!!
> that is probably the most uniquely adorable shoe size i have ever heard of.
> i'm sure it's a massive pain in the neck finding shoes, but AWWW! squarefeet!



I knew a girl in grade school who was 6 feet tall and took a size 4 triple wide shoe. Or quad wide. Whatever. She tottered around. Sweet girl, I miss her! Her feet were cute.


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## MisticalMisty (Feb 28, 2009)

BubbleButtBabe said:


> Love,peace and prosperity.
> 
> My wildest dreams hmmmmmmm,I would love to write good romance novels and not just the short stories I some times do. Plus have enough money in the world to have clothes tailored to fit me like they should!


OMG

you didn't say grandbabies from your daughter? WOO HOO


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## BubbleButtBabe (Feb 28, 2009)

Well Mist they didn't ask for the impossible dream!


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## BubbleButtBabe (Feb 28, 2009)

Genarose54 said:


> I want my mom back.
> 
> .



Big hugs to you. Yeah having mine back would be nice but healthy so she could enjoy her great-G'daughter.


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## MisticalMisty (Feb 28, 2009)

BubbleButtBabe said:


> Well Mist they didn't ask for the impossible dream!



HEY..keep talking woman


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## chunkeymonkey (Feb 28, 2009)

I have more wants then I need ! I always love more but I should be more grateful than I am for what I do have.
I have a wonderful FA husband who supports us nicely and 2 beautiful boys with a home to love.
In my needing world I want it all and I am sure if I had everything I wished for I would look back and want what I have already. However I love to dream.


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## OneWickedAngel (Feb 28, 2009)

MisticalMisty said:


> OMG
> 
> you didn't say grandbabies from your daughter? WOO HOO





BubbleButtBabe said:


> Well Mist they didn't ask for the impossible dream!



_ROFL! _That's just so wrong!


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## BubbleButtBabe (Feb 28, 2009)

MisticalMisty said:


> HEY..keep talking woman




I thought that was the problem..I had been asking so long you turned a deaf ear to me....LOL

OneWicked it isn't to bad since I have been asking her since she was around 22 and still none.....LOL


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## kathynoon (Mar 1, 2009)

I want

- My arthritus to go away
- More time with my friends
- A boyfriend to spend time with
- A house at the shore
- To fit in rollercoasters again
- someone to give my house a good cleaning


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## Donna (Mar 1, 2009)

I want to be able to work as hard as my colleagues and be thought of just as good...I'm tired of working three times as hard just to be taken seriously and considered an equal. And when I go above and beyond, I want it recognized and rewarded.

I want to have days where I don't feel guilty because I am not 100% confident. It's okay for our thinner counterparts to have days when they don't exude complete confidence, but heaven forbid one of us fatties let our confidence slip.

I want to be free of the pain of a medical condition that while not a direct result of my weight, it is certainly exacerbated by my weight. But if I must live with pain, I want to do it with a dignity that I don't think I am afforded as a supersized woman.

Along those same lines, I want to use the mobility aids I use (cane, scooter) without looking into the eyes of strangers and wondering if that odd expression is one of pity. As someone who was mugged last year, I also don't want to worry that my limited mobility is a huge neon sign to criminals saying "victim here."

I want to go about my business in public, buy groceries, eat out, get my hair or nails done and not feel like someone is staring at me all the time wondering why I would venture out in public. Some days, I want to blend in. And for the days I chose to stand out, I want to stand out on my terms.

And yes, I am shallow and I want to be able to buy clothing off the rack....and to find designer clothing in my size. I would give just about anything for a Liz Claiborne blouse, a Michael Kors jacket or a Bill Blass dress.


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## MamaLisa (Mar 1, 2009)

I want to be looking back on this year now so i know what to do and not to do.. the last 12 months i would have changed a few things and situations with people.. and even though i regret nothing in life.. it would be nice to change certain situations.


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## Lovelyone (Mar 2, 2009)

I would like to let go of the past, and grab the future by the balls. 

I'd love to be able to pay it forward and help people in need, as my friends have helped me when I was in need. (this probably should be first, cos its the one that I feel most strongly about). Someday it will happen, just have to have faith. 

Dream job, my own place, a decent car.

I'd like to be able to look in the mirror and not hear those insecure thoughts that creep in, or those voices from other people who say "you should lose weight" "you'd look better if you were thin". Or to tear myself apart by thinking..."more make-up, you could do your hair better, that outfit sucks, etc" 

I am hoping to find "the one" and not a Mr. Right Now. 

I'd like to be someone's one and only, not someone's one of many. 

I'd like to say "I love you" to someone and not feel as if its being taken for granted.

I will finish my book...might take time--but it'll happen.

To be so happy that people use me as an example of how happy they want to be. Maybe just to smile more, laugh when I want to cry, give til it hurts, not be afraid to do things like dance in the rain cos people would think I am crazy, and to be okay with not being perfect and making mistakes.

I would love to find pretty panties that will fit my derriere, Sexy mature tops that don't look like prostitute wear, shoes that fit wider than wide feet. There just aren't any that make the grade.


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## goodthings (Mar 2, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> Dear BBWs of Dimensions:
> 
> As ladies of size, we have often been criticized for taking up too much space, for wanting what we want (while we're told that we just can't have that man/job/family/dress/comfortable seat at the movie theater/whatever else you've been denied or been told you don't deserve because of your size), for just being different and standing out.
> 
> ...



I want to die knowing I have done well by this world, I want a family of my own, a home of my own, the ability to live comfortably and contentedly. I do not yet have the life I want, however I am travelling my path. At this time I know that I have done well by this world, I am continuing to keep faith that I will have my family and will not let go of that hope. I do not yet have my own home, but am working toward it. To me happiness = contentedness.

and what Genarose54 said


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## Fascinita (Mar 2, 2009)

Lovelyone said:


> I would like to let go of the past, and grab the future by the balls.
> 
> I'd love to be able to pay it forward and help people in need, as my friends have helped me when I was in need. (this probably should be first, cos its the one that I feel most strongly about). Someday it will happen, just have to have faith.
> 
> ...



I like these wants, the way they're worded. :bow:


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## TallFatSue (Mar 2, 2009)

AnnMarie said:


> There are things I want, but they're not because I'm a fat woman, so I don't think they're thread relevant.
> 
> I don't find myself wanting much as a fat woman... although I'd love to feel light as air, but still be "me". It would be so cool to be weightless while carrying about daily life in the big bod.
> 
> But, my life is good... and some of that is because of the big bod, so I'm good.... like a good hand in blackjack - I'll stand.


Yup, that pretty much sums up my position too.



Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Yeah, it's been a long time since someone sent me flowers...though my Mom does occasionally pick me some or splits one of those bouquets from the grocery store with me. I still want some from a man....what a picky, ungrateful wench I can be....:doh:


Oh gee, I can't remember the last time my husband sent me flowers! Probably wayyy back in the 20th Century. Art is not the most romantic guy in the world by any stretch of the imagination, and Mr. Engineer says it's a waste of money to give me "dead plants". Lucky for him, I forgive this egregious lapse because he gives me ecstatic foot, leg and full-body massages. Methinx I'll keep him. :smitten:



Keb said:


> May I add one little thing? I want to be able to go to a shoe store and buy shoes that fit--and look good, too.
> 
> Being a size that women's shoes aren't sold in is waaaaaaaaaaay worse than not being able to find clothes. Clothes, I can sew.


That's for doggone sure! I'm 6ft tall and have size 13 feet, so I sometimes wear men's shoes. Women's shoes tend to collapse under my weight. My above-mentioned engineer husband conceded that most women's shoes are designed by men for style, which is why women's shoes are often thinly-veiled torture devices. Men design their own shoes, so they are usually much more comfy. I take verrrry good care of the relatively few stylish, comfy and sturdy women's shoes I have found.



Lovelyone said:


> I would like to let go of the past, and grab the future by the balls.
> 
> I'd love to be able to pay it forward and help people in need, as my friends have helped me when I was in need. (this probably should be first, cos its the one that I feel most strongly about). Someday it will happen, just have to have faith.
> 
> ...


At the risk of sounding like a Pollyanna...

Don't give up hope. It can and does happen! Happy home life, good rewarding career, financial stability etc. Sometimes I pinch myself and wonder if it's all a dream?

Much as I kid my husband about being a socially-inept nerd, he really is Mr. Right and I'm his One And Only. We're a couple months away from our 27th anniversary, and every day I thank my lucky stars that Art was bold enough to realize that the love of his life happened to be the fattest woman he ever met! I have fond memories of our screwball-comedy romance, as the poor soul had no idea how to deal with a woman my size, but he sure learned! And of course I'll never forget our first date when I had such an impressive case of nervous hiccups that sounded like I was braying like a mule. After a beginning like that, everything else was a easy! 

Some of my friends and co-workers do use me as an example of a reasonably happy well-adjusted woman. Every once in a while someone calls me a Pollyanna, but luckily I'm just enough of a wise ass that nobody has smacked me over the head for being annoyingly cheerful. Even my boss uses me as an example of someone who sure pulls her weight around the office, which made me verrrry nervous at first. Um, could he perhaps phrase that differently? I gotta say, though, that it was a little disconcerting to speak in front of unfamiliar groups and imagine them thinking more about what an obese Amazon I am than about what I'm saying. And I almost panicked when my boss assigning the fattest woman in our company to wine and dine clients (oh great, all they'll think about is how much I eat). I kinda had to put up with clients staring at my huge belly or my big boobs for a while, but eventually they looked me square in the face, so I knew I was okay. 

On the other hand, I do frequently hear one certain voice about how much better I'd look if I lost weight, but that's just my mother being a Mom ("You're not wearing that, are you? Not with that belly of yours hanging out for all the world to see!"). 

Come to think of it, I do the same sort of thing with my husband. "Art! Brown shoes with a blue suit? I don't think so."  Of course I'm perfectly justified. 

Anyway, despite the challenges and annoyances of hauling around so much body fat, it's a small price to pay for a doggone good life. Every day feels like Thanksgiving. May the screwball comedy continue. 

PS. Speaking of Pollyanna, maybe I'm just playing "The Glad Game" right now, because I've just had a good lunch. I'm glad I ate it! :eat2:


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## Ash (Mar 2, 2009)

Great, positive thread. Love it.

Ok. Wants.

&#10032; The clothes thing that elle camino mentioned. Want. 
&#10032; A job that I love near the people I love
&#10032; A life free of judgment for being fat, liking it, getting fatter (on purpose), and showing it off. 
&#10032; A united community of fatties and FAs who spend less time fighting with each other than they do living their lives proudly and thereby spreading the message of size acceptance.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 2, 2009)

TallFatSue said:


> Oh gee, I can't remember the last time my husband sent me flowers! Probably wayyy back in the 20th Century. Art is not the most romantic guy in the world by any stretch of the imagination, and Mr. Engineer says it's a waste of money to give me "dead plants". Lucky for him, I forgive this egregious lapse because he gives me ecstatic foot, leg and full-body massages. Methinx I'll keep him. :smitten:



Lol, yeah those foot and back massages certainly do make up for a lot of things


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## TallFatSue (Mar 2, 2009)

Ashley said:


> Great, positive thread. Love it.


That would be me. Accentuate the positive. 

Wellll, if there's one thing I really truly want as a SSBBW, it would be for my size simply not to be an issue. And for the most part it's not. But every so often I'm reminded of it, like when my subconscious size estimator is offline (= my brain is temporarily disengaged) and I go to sit somewhere and find that I just plain don't fit, or when some helpful soul decides to call my attention to just how fat I am. I wouldn't exactly say it's like walking into what I thought was an open door, but it's still kinda jarring. 

Oh well, I can always dream. Methinx many of us are already behind the 8-ball simply by being women, so it is our lot on life to be continually judged by our physical beings. In that case, thank goodness I'm not just fat, but positively obese. My fat saves time by giving people something obvious to pass judgement on me, so I can get it out of the way and move on. 

There I go, being Pollyanna again. I'll blame it on the post-dessert chocolate buzz I'm enjoying right now. :eat2:


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## chubbyncute08 (Mar 2, 2009)

What I really want is to be able to have another baby, and honestly, I would LOVE a makeover. I know its shallow, but I need a kick to get going in the right direction. I think a change is what I need somewhere...

or I need to lose 250lbs of husband and start over.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 2, 2009)

chubbyncute08 said:


> What I really want is to be able to have another baby, and honestly, I would LOVE a makeover. I know its shallow, but I need a kick to get going in the right direction. I think a change is what I need somewhere...
> 
> or I need to lose 250lbs of husband and start over.



Lol, I like your attitude, Lady


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## elle camino (Mar 2, 2009)

Ashley said:


> Great, positive thread. Love it.
> 
> Ok. Wants.
> 
> ...



HOW DID YOU MAKE STAR BULLETS. 

TO KNOW THIS IS MY NEW WANT. 
a


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## chubbyncute08 (Mar 2, 2009)

thank you!


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 2, 2009)

elle camino said:


> HOW DID YOU MAKE STAR BULLETS.
> 
> TO KNOW THIS IS MY NEW WANT.
> a


I'm totally guessing but what about the "list" function at the top of the "reply to thread" page?

Elle
Camino
Did
this
work?
Eh shit, well "ordered list" didnt work- let me try unorder list


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 2, 2009)

Unordered list:


Elle
Camino
did
this
work?


Well, hells bells, what I get for trying....:doh:


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## elle camino (Mar 2, 2009)

stars
>
dots


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## Fascinita (Mar 2, 2009)

elle camino said:


> stars
> >
> dots



You can use the html code for that particular star:

&#10032;	= & # 10032; (without the spaces between the & and the # and the 10032; )

Otherwise, you can cut and paste the star as you would any text.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 2, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> You can use the html code for that particular star:
> 
> &#10032;	&#x2730;
> 
> Otherwise, you can cut and paste the star as you would any text.



Show off..........


Damn it, we were having FUN spamming your thread, too  :doh:


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## elle camino (Mar 2, 2009)

&#10032; you have
&#10032; truly
&#10032; changed my life
&#10032; for the better.


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## Fascinita (Mar 2, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Damn it, we were having FUN spamming your thread, too  :doh:



Keep it up, Greenie, and I'm going to have to use a &#10000; to write a strongly worded &#9993; to the Head Fairy about you.  (Wow, those are small.)


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 2, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> Keep it up, Greenie, and I'm going to have to use a &#10000; to write a strongly worded &#9993; to the Head Fairy about you.



Just so you know....*I* am the Head Bitch in Charge over in Fairy Land....get that part straight


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## steely (Mar 2, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> I will add that I also want love and an emotional connection with another, based on mutual respect and a deep understanding.
> 
> And I want stability and to put down roots somewhere.
> 
> ...



Your ACoA is showing.I know because I have the same feelings.Even though I've been married 10 years,there are times I have no connection at all.I love my husband the best way I know how.I was never given the gifts of trust and faith.

I sincerely hope you find what you're looking for,it's out there for you.What I wish most is that you are happy with it when you find it.Embrace it and live it.Pardon me if I am too personal.I don't really know you but from another thread,we have had a similar experience.:bow:


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## olwen (Mar 2, 2009)

TallFatSue said:


> That would be me. Accentuate the positive.
> 
> Wellll, if there's one thing I really truly want as a SSBBW, it would be for my size simply not to be an issue. And for the most part it's not. But every so often I'm reminded of it, like when my subconscious size estimator is offline (= my brain is temporarily disengaged) and I go to sit somewhere and find that I just plain don't fit, or when some helpful soul decides to call my attention to just how fat I am. I wouldn't exactly say it's like walking into what I thought was an open door, but it's still kinda jarring.
> 
> ...



I like this part. It kinda reminds me of batman's breast plate. He put a big bright bat symbol there to draw attention away from the rest of his body. Criminals will want to shoot him in the chest where he's wearing a bullet proof kevlar vest. They waste all their bullets aiming for the breat plate, then he can come in and disarm them and take em down.


----------



## Fascinita (Mar 2, 2009)

steely said:


> ...I was never given the gifts of trust and faith.
> 
> I sincerely hope you find what you're looking for,it's out there for you.What I wish most is that you are happy with it when you find it.Embrace it and live it.Pardon me if I am too personal.I don't really know you but from another thread,we have had a similar experience.:bow:



Thanks for your kind words and advice, Steely. It rings true. It's not too personal, either: I *want* to air out my ACoA stuff and to feel less burdened and alone with it. My best wishes to you.


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## TearInYourHand (Mar 2, 2009)

&#10032; I 
&#10032; need
&#10032; to try this.

&#10032; Excuse the interruption.
&#10032; Carry on.

p.s. I want clothes and high heels too.


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## BubbleButtBabe (Mar 2, 2009)

Lovelyone said:


> I'd like to be able to look in the mirror and not hear those insecure thoughts that creep in, or those voices from other people who say "you should lose weight" "you'd look better if you were thin".



Sorry but this might be a long story but I do have a point to make..When I was about 12 I started gaining weight. My Mom,sisters,aunts and cousins would always tell me I needed to loose weight so I could get blah blah blah. I dated in high school,had a boyfriend in my early 20's,could do just about everything else that my cousins were doing. My weight never seemed like a big problem to me. 

I changed jobs after I had Misty and went to a very physical job that caused me to loose a lot of weight in a short amount of time. I went from 200 to 130 in about 5 weeks. I could finally wear all of those cute clothes every body else did and do things my small cousins were doing. I finally thought my family would be proud of me,boy was I wrong.I found someone to love and love me back,I even married but that didn't help. I began to hear,*"you don't look healthy,your face is to thin,you need to gain some weight you do not look good at all,are you sick or have you been sick lately."* I had a aha moment then,I realized that no matter my size I would hear negative comments about my body and my lifestyle all of my life until I put a stop to it. I finally had to get very tacky and be a smart ass for most of my family to get the point. I told them all to back off and let me live my life,to keep their opinions to themselves not unless it looked like I was doing harm to myself. Which I wasn't. I am now back to 200+ and have been for years,I enjoy this weight and will probably weight it until I die

Any way my point is please do not try to live your life to please others,it doesn't work. No matter what you do or how you do it some one is going to find fault with you. Do not change yourself until you are ready for the change,please try to accept you for who you are in this moment.*To thine own self be true!*


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## OneWickedAngel (Mar 3, 2009)

BubbleButtBabe said:


> *
> ...snip...
> 
> *I had a aha moment then,I realized that no matter my size I would hear negative comments about my body and my lifestyle all of my life until I put a stop to it. I finally had to get very tacky and be a smart ass for most of my family to get the point.
> ...



*Aren't those A-HA! moments simply divine (which they really are when you think about it)! 
* 
_*And a hearty AMEN! to that last paragraph. *_


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## ssbwjedisweetheart (Mar 3, 2009)

YES THANK YOU. I want the good clothes too. I am young and a girly girly, want the nice dresses,tops and skirts not the stuff that looks like granny. For stars sakes give us the nice colors and the cool design and lower the prices,i dont want to choose between a new outfit and dinner ; ) and would it kill them to make pretty jeans like baby phat in a size 5/6x.


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## Victim (Mar 3, 2009)

This thread is proof that we as fatties want the same things as everyone else does. We just have to convince the rest of the world that we deserve to be happy too.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 3, 2009)

Victim said:


> This thread is proof that we as fatties want the same things as everyone else does. We just have to convince the rest of the world that we deserve to be happy too.



I think we also need to convince some others that tossing us crumbs is not good enough to make us happy


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## mossystate (Mar 3, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I think we also need to convince some others that tossing us crumbs is not good enough to make us happy



Very good point, my green friend. You would think that our BIG APPETITES would be forever on some minds, and they would take care to satisfy.


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## NoWayOut (Mar 3, 2009)

Victim said:


> This thread is proof that we as fatties want the same things as everyone else does. We just have to convince the rest of the world that we deserve to be happy too.



You definitely do. Everyone deserves to be happy.


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## superodalisque (Mar 4, 2009)

all i really want is a life full of love

a significant other who is as into receiving love as giving love and vice versa who doesn't make me feel afraid that i'll be kicked in the teeth if i open up all the way. sometimes i've felt bottled up because i have so much affection inside waiting to get out.

friends who can do the same

family who can do the same

work that i love and can put my heart into

to be a positive influence in the world

to see BBWs really love themselves and stop worrying about other people's opinions long enough to live and express beauty that they have inside that would be enough to sway nearly anyone's opinions about what beauty is. when that day comes i'll cry for happiness like i did the day that Obama won the election--i tell ya! i think maybe i need to add women period to that and not just BBWs. how can some of the most beautiful things in the world feel so ugly? i'll just never understand. what must we be doing to each other?

i have some of it. all of it would be really great though.


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## steely (Mar 4, 2009)

I want to know at 13 what I know now.I recently came across pictures of myself at that age or maybe a little younger.I thought I was the fattest,ugliest girl in the world.Now I can see I was just an average girl,a little on the cute side,maybe a little meaty but not deserving of the self hatred that I carried and have carried ever since.

I want to be able to let go.


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## Tracy (Mar 4, 2009)

I have always been a BBW or as I like to say a lady of size. I live a very happy & active life and I love who I am as a person and being a large lady. I have a wonderful son, a loving family and I have wonderful friends. There are two things that I desire to have in my life. One is to find someone who will accept all the love that I have to offer and return that love and second is more of a wish that the people in this world would realize that everyone deserves to be happy no matter what size, shape or color that you are.


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## olwen (Mar 4, 2009)

steely said:


> I want to know at 13 what I know now.I recently came across pictures of myself at that age or maybe a little younger.I thought I was the fattest,ugliest girl in the world.Now I can see I was just an average girl,a little on the cute side,maybe a little meaty but not deserving of the self hatred that I carried and have carried ever since.
> 
> I want to be able to let go.



This resonates with me, but in a slightly different way. I came across pictures of myself as a kid a few months ago and I thought - Hey, I wasn't really that fat. Bigger than my sisters who were bony, yes, but I seem "normal" sized in those pics, and I thought about why my mother made such a big deal about my weight. Why was it so hard for her to accept my body the way it was, when it didn't seem huge. Whose bullshit was she listening to? It makes me angry and I want to know the answer to that, however that's probably something I'll never ask her...I want us both to let go.


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## ashmamma84 (Mar 4, 2009)

I just wanted to share something from part of today's meditation


Someone sure pulled a fast one on you! 

Somebody, somewhere tricked you into believing there were certain things you could not do because of who you were. Someone else told you that only certain people could do or be the very thing you wanted to be. And you were not one of those people. With a sleight-of-hand manipulation of facts, someone made you think you didn't have what it takes, so they took ut. Somebody told you that you were slow, or lazy or too fat: not good enough; or crazy. And you believed that? 

They tricked you into believing what they wanted you to believe. They knew who you were and they knew you had no idea. They pulled the wool over your eyes. Ran a game on you and you fell for it! The truth is they downright, open-mouthed, bare-faced told you a lie! Now what are you going to do?

I like this because so much of what I want in my life really is within my own reach. I think in general alot of what people want is, but its the negative thinking we have, the social conditioning we operate on and pure bs we feed into that keeps us for realizing some of our deepest desires. So, I'm trying to keep the wool from my eyes..but damn! does it get hard.


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## Sugar (Mar 4, 2009)

To be able to trust.


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## TallFatSue (Mar 4, 2009)

ashmamma84 said:


> I just wanted to share something from part of today's meditation
> 
> 
> Someone sure pulled a fast one on you!
> ...


I've heard this sort of nonsense for most of my life. My mother was the chief culprit, but she wasn't alone. On the other hand my father was great. As long as I was happy and healthy and stayed out of jail, I was "Daddy's little girl." He still calls me that, even though I'm now 51, at least triple his weight, and slightly taller than him too. 

When I was in high school in the early 1970s, my mother told me in no uncertain terms that I was wayyyy too fat ever to find a good husband, so I'd better get good grades and have a career. She also told me that I was so fat nobody would hire me. Then there were the mixed messages like "clean your plate but lose the weight." Luckily by then I was well into my rebellious youth stage, so I embraced my fat as a symbol of my independence, "just to show her." Paradoxically, I owe my mother a big debt of gratitude because she prepared me for the wider world, replete with naysayers and mixed messages. Of course I love my mother, but I also love to gently but firmly give it right back to her when she criticizes how fat I am. I did get good grades, and I do have a wonderful career. And at my wedding, it was fun to watch my mother beam with pride while trying not to admit she was just plain wrong. 

I also thank the skinny little cheerleader bitches who gave me such a hard time in high school because they taught me that many people try to build themselves up by tearing others down. My husband is amazed that I hold no grudge against most of my former tormenters. No mystery about it: grudges waste time and energy, and the best revenge is to live well and not give a hoot what they say.


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## Fascinita (Mar 4, 2009)

Lucky said:


> To be able to trust.



This is a good one.

I would say it this way, in my case: "To be able to trust appropriately."

In other words, to be able trust where it is deserved and to hold trust back where it's not. I've gotten better and better at this over time, but not entirely deft, and I still hope to find that perfect balance someday.

As an adult child of an alcoholic family, the issues of trust and faith are tied up for me with the desire to love and be loved. For "love's sake," sometimes I've rushed to trust where I should have let it build slowly. It works in the other direction, too: At times it's still difficult to trust, even when I'm receiving my share of that love that feels so good.

Best of luck, Lucky.


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## superodalisque (Mar 4, 2009)

Lucky said:


> To be able to trust.



darnit! they wouldn't let me rep you. i think nearly everything boils down to trust doesn' it?


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## steely (Mar 4, 2009)

olwen said:


> This resonates with me, but in a slightly different way. I came across pictures of myself as a kid a few months ago and I thought - Hey, I wasn't really that fat. Bigger than my sisters who were bony, yes, but I seem "normal" sized in those pics, and I thought about why my mother made such a big deal about my weight. Why was it so hard for her to accept my body the way it was, when it didn't seem huge. Whose bullshit was she listening to? It makes me angry and I want to know the answer to that, however that's probably something I'll never ask her...I want us both to let go.



My mother is 5' nothing and was thinner than me at that time.She didn't take into account at 12 years old I was 5'8",size 10 shoe and probably weighed 130 pounds.I took after my father's family.I looked like a giant and everybody let me know.I really wasn't fat but when you tower over every kid in class,you are told you're fat.It gets ingrained into you.If I had someone who had told me you're ok.You're just a big tall girl.I wonder how that might have affected my weight.I always ate to soothe the hurt that I felt.I must have been really hurt because it really shows now.

I love my mother but talking to her or my father or my siblings is a lost cause.They just don't get it.They never will.It's too long ago and far away.Quite frankly,they don't want to deal with it.


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## Sugar (Mar 4, 2009)

superodalisque said:


> darnit! they wouldn't let me rep you. i think nearly everything boils down to trust doesn' it?



I think my life would run a whole lot smoother if I had more trust in general. To be fair it is pretty smooth but there is always room for improvement.


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## Jon Blaze (Mar 4, 2009)

superodalisque said:


> darnit! they wouldn't let me rep you. i think nearly everything boils down to trust doesn' it?



Done. Repsuden has been given. :bow:


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## TygerKitty (Mar 7, 2009)

What do I want? A sexy, tall, older-than-me, intelligent, wonderful, funny hottie! 

I've pretty much steamrolled other obstacles in my life and continue to do so with fervor! Oh, I will need another job soon too!


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## Fascinita (Mar 7, 2009)

I'm _still_ going with the classic: A special person to love, and who loves _me_. Maybe even a family of people (friends, relatives, all) to love and who love me. 

I need to say this (and believe it!) as often as I can.

Nothing else is as important, or it is already "taken care of" in my life.

:bow::bow::bow: to all the ladies who've posted. It's been inspiring to read.


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## MamaLisa (Mar 9, 2009)

Lucky said:


> To be able to trust.



Good reply.. 

it depends what u mean by trust 2...

If you can trust within urself ... thats the most important thing..... and if u trust ur intuition.. and draw on past experiences to make life learning decisions .. then u will be fine..

as far as trusting other people.. trust like that can only be earnt .. not given..

try to seperate your emotional being with the truth.. that helps me often when i want to trust cos i feel something for someone or can really do with help etc.. but if i gave it some thought.. in most cases.. that person and their actions do not warrant the trust i thought i could instill in them..

just my experience and 2c..


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## butch (Mar 9, 2009)

ashmamma84 said:


> I just wanted to share something from part of today's meditation
> 
> 
> Someone sure pulled a fast one on you!
> ...



This is awesome, and I can't rep you for it. This is something I need to hear over and over again.


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## Sugar (Mar 9, 2009)

MamaLisa said:


> Good reply..
> 
> it depends what u mean by trust 2...
> 
> ...



Uh, I'm not unhappy or anything. My emotional well being is intact and accounted for. I was just saying w/o having to explain myself that I'd like to trust which really can mean a whole world of different things.


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## pjbbwlvr (Mar 9, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy, I must call you that as I don't know your name. But I had to stop and tell you that what you just wrote is awesome and touched my heart. You have to be a very beautiful person to write so deep and poignantly. Thank you for the most intelligent words I read in a very long time! Paul 




Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I suppose I'm feeling like some of you others with your real/serious responses have shamed me into being serious, too
> 
> I want all of my girls to get an education, grow into strong, confident, lovely people that achieve whatever it is they want to achieve in life.I want to see them walk down the aisle- but only with people that love them for who they are and how they deserve...if they even want to get married. I want to see my grandchildren...if they choose to have children. I see so many bright things in the future...and I thank my daughters for this life we have together. It is so much better than I dreamed of or thought I deserve.
> My oldest wasn't as keen on the idea of her being the first person on Mars as I was though.....:doh:
> ...


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 9, 2009)

pjbbwlvr said:


> Green Eyed Fairy, I must call you that as I don't know your name. But I had to stop and tell you that what you just wrote is awesome and touched my heart. You have to be a very beautiful person to write so deep and poignantly. Thank you for the most intelligent words I read in a very long time! Paul




You really are too kind Paul but Thank You  

Caroline


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## Tania (Mar 9, 2009)

I would like to find a man who will make me his first choice in life. I would like love, protection, understanding, and the secure knowledge that I am more than enough intellectually, emotionally, physically, and sexually for the person I'm with. 

I can't handle being the second choice or the diversion anymore. I don't want to live my life questioning motives or wondering when the other shoe will drop. 

I know that none of this is really BBW-specific, but I think that's kind of the crux of the matter for me; no matter how fat or thin I have been, the hole in my heart hasn't changed size.


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## NoWayOut (Mar 9, 2009)

Tania said:


> I would like to find a man who will make me his first choice in life. I would like love, protection, understanding, and the secure knowledge that I am more than enough intellectually, emotionally, physically, and sexually for the person I'm with.
> 
> I can't handle being the second choice or the diversion anymore. I don't want to live my life questioning motives or wondering when the other shoe will drop.
> 
> I know that none of this is really BBW-specific, but I think that's kind of the crux of the matter for me; no matter how fat or thin I have been, the hole in my heart hasn't changed size.



Everyone deserves to have that. I know this kind of goes against the point of the thread because this is about what women want, but I want to be that man for the right woman.


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## OneWickedAngel (Mar 9, 2009)

NoWayOut said:


> ...snip...
> 
> _*I want to be that man for the right woman*_.



NWO: I don't think I have ever heard (read) a man say that irl. 

Thank you, just _Thank You_.:bow:


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## MamaLisa (Mar 9, 2009)

OneWickedAngel said:


> NWO: I don't think I have ever heard (read) a man say that irl.
> 
> Thank you, just _Thank You_.:bow:



Me 2 

gimme gimme gimme lol


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## olwen (Mar 10, 2009)

NoWayOut said:


> Everyone deserves to have that. I know this kind of goes against the point of the thread because this is about what women want, but I want to be that man for the right woman.





OneWickedAngel said:


> NWO: I don't think I have ever heard (read) a man say that irl.
> 
> Thank you, just _Thank You_.:bow:



Me either. That was awesome to read. :bow:


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## Pitch (May 14, 2011)

Honest admission: To be thin/not poor. To be seen as female before fat thing.

Sad but true.


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