# Who Would Take It?



## Rainahblue (Jun 27, 2006)

While chatting with a friend about Star Jones and Rosie O'Donnell today, we were wondering who would win in a nasty brawl. So of course I decided to share this with everyone.  It's just too much fun! Name your winner and list the next two contenders...
*
Rosie O'Donnell * vs. *Star Jones *​


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## lmbchp (Jun 27, 2006)

Rosie would win!

Rosie O'Donnell vs Barbara Walters


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## activistfatgirl (Jun 27, 2006)

I believe in Rosie. Rosie would win, every time.


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## Esme (Jun 27, 2006)

Rosie of course!

Rosie Vs. Mr. T


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## Falling Boy (Jun 27, 2006)

OH man Rosie would whip the shit out of Star. Jones would be too worried about her nails or something.


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## Esme (Jun 27, 2006)

Yeah, but what about Rosie V. Mr. T???


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## curvluver (Jun 27, 2006)

Esme said:


> Yeah, but what about Rosie V. Mr. T???



I pity the fool who goes after the T, but I think Rosie would kick his sorry ass....

Rosie vs. The Rock?


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## HappyFatChick (Jun 27, 2006)

Rosie.

Rosie vs. Ann Coulter?

wheeeeeeeeee


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## Rainahblue (Jun 27, 2006)

HappyFatChick said:


> Rosie.
> 
> Rosie vs. Ann Coulter?
> 
> wheeeeeeeeee



LOL

I don't know, Ann plays dirty... I'm gonna say Ann would take it.

Ann Coulter vs. Hilary Clinton?​


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## Esme (Jun 27, 2006)

Ann Coutler... I'm sure Rosie's tired by now.

Ann Coulter V. Jon Stewart


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## Esme (Jun 27, 2006)

Ignore mine! I didn't see RainahBlue's post.


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## Shikamaru (Jun 27, 2006)

Umm... I dunno... draw?

~Mr. T vs Steven Colbert~

.....

FIGHT!


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## Esme (Jun 27, 2006)

Mr. T got knocked out by Rosie...


We're on Ann Coulter vs. Hilary Clinton


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## eightyseven (Jun 27, 2006)

I'll take a Clinton ANY DAY. Hillary wins it, though it's close.

Hillary Clinton vs. Monica Lewinsky a.k.a. "The Battle for Bill"

... and you'd better pick Monica, since she's a BBW


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## Esme (Jun 27, 2006)

Monica... hands down... the winnah!

Monica v. Oprah Winfrey


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## eightyseven (Jun 27, 2006)

Monica... because Oprah will spend more time talking about the battle and how it will impact the lives of so many people  

Monica Lewinsky vs. Fiona Apple (she's fiesty one)


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## ScreamingChicken (Jun 27, 2006)

Rosie hands down.

Rosie v. Camryn Manheim


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## fatlane (Jun 27, 2006)

Camryn would pound Rosie. And Coulter. And Hilary.

She'd go out for steaks with Monica, and then they'd both plow Fiona under.

Camryn vs. Kathy Bates? Now THAT is a match I'd watch!


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## Rainahblue (Jun 27, 2006)

eightyseven said:


> Monica... because Oprah will spend more time talking about the battle and how it will impact the lives of so many people
> 
> Monica Lewinsky vs. Fiona Apple (she's fiesty one)




 LOL - sounds like Oprah alright...​


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## eightyseven (Jun 27, 2006)

You know what I want to see?

Kathy Griffin vs. Oscar de la Hoya

I just REALLY want to see someone POUND that obnoxious b*tch. I can't stand her... AT ALL.


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## Rainahblue (Jun 27, 2006)

Ohhh, I don't think even the indefatigable Kathy would survive...

Oscar De La Hoya vs. Mike Tyson (when he's hungry)?​


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## eightyseven (Jun 27, 2006)

Oscar may lose an ear, but he'll win by rules default.

Oscar de la Hoya vs. Rambo (since nobody will beat Oscar just with fists)


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## Santaclear (Jun 27, 2006)

It's time for Oprah to lose an ear. It's only fair. She got so many people's minds.

She should jump on top of the other two and all three should tear each other apart. (Lord, I'm so cold.)


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## eightyseven (Jun 27, 2006)

So we're back to Miss Winfrey again? Ho-kay.

Oprah Winfrey vs. Dick Clark... that would be SO enjoyable to see them torn to shreds. All this reminds me of CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH. Yessss.


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## Wayne_Zitkus (Jun 27, 2006)

eightyseven said:


> So we're back to Miss Winfrey again? Ho-kay.
> 
> Oprah Winfrey vs. Dick Clark... that would be SO enjoyable to see them torn to shreds. All this reminds me of CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH. Yessss.


Seeing as Dick Clark is still recovering from a couple of massive strokes, Oprah would win.

Oprah vs. Ellen Degeneres.


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## eightyseven (Jun 27, 2006)

ELLEN KICKS TUSH... I adore that woman.

Ellen Degeneres vs. Fred Phillips ( I think that's his name )

And on another note, my favorite episode of Celebrity Deathmatch, courtesy of YouTube: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wU5vN9QlKc&search=celebrity deathmatch


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## Wayne_Zitkus (Jun 28, 2006)

eightyseven said:


> ELLEN KICKS TUSH... I adore that woman.
> 
> Ellen Degeneres vs. Fred Phillips ( I think that's his name )
> 
> ...


It's Fred Phelps, and Ellen would kick his ass all the way back to Topeka.

Ellen Degeneres vs. Katie Couric


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## eightyseven (Jun 28, 2006)

Wayne_Zitkus said:


> It's Fred Phelps, and Ellen would kick his ass all the way back to Topeka.
> 
> Ellen Degeneres vs. Katie Couric



Thank you for the clarification... I hate that man with a writhing passion. He and his cronies came to our very liberal campus and drew nothing but a huge protest crowd... but they weren't loud... they just turned their backs to him in protest as he spoke. I thought it was cool.

Oh yeah... Ellen still wins!

Ellen Degeneres vs. Wayne Brady


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## Wayne_Zitkus (Jun 28, 2006)

eightyseven said:


> Thank you for the clarification... I hate that man with a writhing passion. He and his cronies came to our very liberal campus and drew nothing but a huge protest crowd... but they weren't loud... they just turned their backs to him in protest as he spoke. I thought it was cool.
> 
> Oh yeah... Ellen still wins!
> 
> Ellen Degeneres vs. Wayne Brady


Wayne Brady - he's start doing his Prince impression and Ellen would run for the nearest exit.

Wayne Brady vs. Chris Rock.


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## eightyseven (Jun 28, 2006)

Chris Rock... because he's ACTUALLY black... haha.

Chris Rock vs. Drew Carey


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## Wayne_Zitkus (Jun 28, 2006)

eightyseven said:


> Chris Rock... because he's ACTUALLY black... haha.
> 
> Chris Rock vs. Drew Carey


Drew Carey - he was in the Marines, ya know.

Drew Carey vs. Conan O'Brian.


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## curvluver (Jun 28, 2006)

I like Conan (he does have a barbarian's name), but I think Drew will paint his hair green, and scare little Conan into submission


Drew Carey vs. Jack Black


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## Donna (Jun 28, 2006)

curvluver said:


> I like Conan (he does have a barbarian's name), but I think Drew will paint his hair green, and scare little Conan into submission
> 
> 
> Drew Carey vs. Jack Black



Jack Black of course!

Jack Black vs. Kevin Smith :smitten:


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## Esme (Jun 28, 2006)

kevin smith all the way... he takes no prisoners!


Kevin Smith v. Meatloaf


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## curvluver (Jun 28, 2006)

He's not the Loaf of 20 years ago, but I think he'd get out his bike and beat the snot out of Kevin Smith.

MeatLoaf (aka Eddie) vs. Tim Curry (aka Frank-N-Furter)


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## HappyFatChick (Jun 28, 2006)

Meatloaf.

Mike Tyson vs. Meatloaf

heh


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## curvluver (Jun 28, 2006)

Mike will take a bite out of the Meat and walk away victorious....


time for Mike vs. Mike

(Tyson vs. Jackson?)


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## Aliena (Jun 28, 2006)

fatlane said:


> Camryn would pound Rosie. And Coulter. And Hilary.
> 
> She'd go out for steaks with Monica, and then they'd both plow Fiona under.
> 
> Camryn vs. Kathy Bates? Now THAT is a match I'd watch!



Kathy Bates, definitely! Have you ever seen _Diabolique_??? She's got a mean right hook!!

O'Reilly or Anderson??


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## curvluver (Jun 28, 2006)

Guess nobody wanted to do Tyson vs. Jackson...


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## Esme (Jun 28, 2006)

I think Tyson would knock himself out trying to stay away from Jacko... so Jacko wins by default...

Michael Jackson v. David Bowie


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 28, 2006)

Esme said:


> I think Tyson would knock himself out trying to stay away from Jacko... so Jacko wins by default...
> 
> Michael Jackson v. David Bowie



My money is on Michael. All those beatings and back talking with his father growing up, and then all the court battles and jokes told about him in the media - I bet there's still a scrap or two left in him from all fo that. 

Michael Jackson vs. Carrot Top?


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## Esme (Jun 28, 2006)

LillyBBBW said:


> Michael Jackson vs. Carrot Top?




Hmmm... I'm gonna say Michael again... cuz no one needs a beat down like Carrot Top needs a beat down. Michael's like the energizer bunny...


Michael v. Grace Jones


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## curvluver (Jun 28, 2006)

That's definitely a freak fight...

Michael is enough to scare any normal person into submission, but Grace Jones is just crazy... I think Michael would go crying back to Bubbles on this one...

I think it's time for battle of the Nasty Bond Girls (I was going to go with Battle of the Bond B####, but I didn't want to flamed too bad....)

Grace Jones(May Day) vs Famke Janssen (Xenia Onatopp)


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## Esme (Jun 28, 2006)

Grace would kick Famke's tiny tush.

Grace Jones v. Flava Flav


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## eightyseven (Jun 28, 2006)

I've got one thing to say...

FLAVA FLAAAAAAAAAV!!!

Haha... let's go with:

Flava-Flav vs. Silent Bob... talk about your all time dichotomy


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## dreamer72fem (Jun 28, 2006)

I so have to say Silent Bob.....just because I have a crush.

Silent Bob vs. Jay


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## HappyFatChick (Jun 28, 2006)

Flava

Flava vs. Chris Rock?

oops,we both posted at the same time. nevermind...


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## Esme (Jun 28, 2006)

I'm gonna say Silent Bob... cuz Jay's probably too "mellow" to fight... and because Bob's cute...

Silent Bob v. Jerry Lewis


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## comngetmeFA (Jun 28, 2006)

Rainahblue said:


> While chatting with a friend about Star Jones and Rosie O'Donnell today, we were wondering who would win in a nasty brawl. So of course I decided to share this with everyone.  It's just too much fun! Name your winner and list the next two contenders...
> *
> Rosie O'Donnell * vs. *Star Jones *​




I don't get it..What's the whole beef between them?


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## Wayne_Zitkus (Jun 28, 2006)

Esme said:


> I'm gonna say Silent Bob... cuz Jay's probably too "mellow" to fight... and because Bob's cute...
> 
> Silent Bob v. Jerry Lewis


HEY LAYYYYYYY - DEEEEEE!!!!!

Jerry Lewis. If nothing else he'll get all the Budweiser people who support MDA t gang up on him.

Jerry Lewis vs Don Rickles.


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## HappyFatChick (Jun 28, 2006)

That's a tough one!

Don Rickles.

Don Rickles vs. Archie Bunker


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## Wayne_Zitkus (Jun 28, 2006)

HappyFatChick said:


> That's a tough one!
> 
> Don Rickles.
> 
> Don Rickles vs. Archie Bunker


I think we should ask fatlane to answer this one.


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## Esme (Jun 28, 2006)

Fatlane is busy apparently, so I'm going to say

Don Rickles... he's just snarky.


Don Rickles v. Al Roker


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## HappyFatChick (Jun 29, 2006)

Don Rickles

Don Rickles vs. Joan Rivers

can you say SMACKdown??


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## Falling Boy (Jun 29, 2006)

HappyFatChick said:


> Don Rickles
> 
> Don Rickles vs. Joan Rivers
> 
> can you say SMACKdown??




Probably Joan Rivers because for better or worse she seems to be immortal:shocked: 

Joan Rivers vs. Paris Hilton


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## Wayne_Zitkus (Jun 29, 2006)

Falling Boy said:


> Probably Joan Rivers because for better or worse she seems to be immortal:shocked:
> 
> Joan Rivers vs. Paris Hilton


Joan Rivers - a stiff breeze would come up and blow anorexic Paris away.....

Joan Rivers vs. Kathie Lee Gifford


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## Esme (Jun 29, 2006)

Joan again. Kathy Lee would start crying and blind herself with her runny mascara leaving just the opportunity Joan needs.

Joan Rivers v. Isaac Mizrahi


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## curvluver (Jun 29, 2006)

Joan rivers would fake Kathie Lee out with a "Oh Hi Cotie", Kathie Lee turns her head... All Over...

Next battle of the Rivers....

Joan vs. Melissa

Sorry I got beat in posting the last battle...(unlike others I will accept the challenge posted previously...)

Let's see Joan vs Isaac....

Joan would complement Isaac on his own shoeline, he goes for it... Up with a sucker punch... Joan wins by a landslide...

Joan vs. Melissa....


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## Esme (Jun 29, 2006)

After years of dealing with her mother, the latent rage in Melissia springs forth and the pounds Joan into so much dust and glitter....


Melissa v. Chastity Bono


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## Wayne_Zitkus (Jun 29, 2006)

Esme said:


> Melissa v. Chastity Bono


Chastity will beat the crap out of Melissa - right after she beats the crap out of Cher for adlling her with that firtst name.....

 

Chastity Bono vs. the guys from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"


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## Esme (Jun 29, 2006)

Chas again. I mean, come on.... she'd take Carson and beat the rest of them silly with him.

Chastity Bono v. Angelina Jolie


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## curvluver (Jun 29, 2006)

Chas again....

I think she'd tell Angelina that a new African orphan just came on the market. As Angelina whips out her cell phone to adopt it, Chas crushes Angelinas nose with the palm of her hand...

Chastity vs. Lisa Marie Pressley


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## Esme (Jun 29, 2006)

I think we have another case of latent rage again here... so I'm going to say Lisa Marie... after a long, drawn-out battle. Perhaps even a TKO.


Lisa Marie v. Jessica Simpson (Battle of the Daddy's Girls)


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## curvluver (Jun 29, 2006)

I think in that battle brains will definitely win out. Lisa starts with a knock-knock joke, as Jessica sits in rapt attention. At the end Jessica sits down and starts thinking... and thinking... and thinking...

Before she can think any more Lisa M, starts beating on her with a guitar....

Jessica's out...

(battle of the kids of singers of druggie dads...)
Lisa Marie vs. Kelly Osbourne


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## Sandie S-R (Jun 29, 2006)

HappyFatChick said:


> Rosie.
> 
> Rosie vs. Ann Coulter?
> 
> wheeeeeeeeee



Rosie could cream her.

Oh, I would pay to watch that.


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## Esme (Jun 29, 2006)

Kelly... she'd stun Lisa Marie with her constant swearing and finish her off in no time.

Kelly Osbourne v. Pink


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## Falling Boy (Jun 29, 2006)

Pink has got muscles! Kelly is cuter but as far as the fight goes I think Pink would beat the crap out of her.

Pink vs. Madonna


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## eightyseven (Jun 29, 2006)

I have to go with the most famous University of Michigan dropout in history... MADONNA.

Madonna vs. Sinead O'Connor


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## Rainahblue (Jun 29, 2006)

Wow good one...

I actually think Madonna would still take it. Sinead seems a little less potent these days.

Madonna vs. Missy Elliott?​


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## Esme (Jun 29, 2006)

MIssy on this one... 


Missy v. Mary J. Blige


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## Rainahblue (Jun 29, 2006)

OH MAN!

Geez *Esme*, that's hard...

Um...

I'm gonna have to say Mary actually. Missy's tough, but underneath, she's a big softie who loves to laugh. Mary grew up in the projects, kicked a drug addiction without help, and beat alcoholism. She's hardcore.

Mary J. Blige vs. Beyonce's Ass​


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## eightyseven (Jun 29, 2006)

BEYONCE'S ASS.

Beyonce's Ass vs. Shakira's Hips


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## Rainahblue (Jun 29, 2006)

Ohhh man.... um....

Geez, I really don't know! Shakira's pretty handy with that hip swing...

I think it'd be close but she'd take it.

Shakira vs. Ciara?

She's got some good hip action... ​


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## HappyFatChick (Jun 29, 2006)

Shakira.

Shakira vs. JLo??:shocked:


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## eightyseven (Jun 30, 2006)

Shakira... more exotic and I think she has a better grip on Spanish.

Shakira vs. Gloria Estefan


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## Esme (Jun 30, 2006)

I'm gonna say Gloria for this one. She's little, but tough! I mean, a BUS couldn't even kill her!!!!

Gloria Estefan v. Cyndi Lauper


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## eightyseven (Jun 30, 2006)

Gotta go with the Miami Sound Machine, still...

Gloria Estefan vs. ARETHA


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## FreeThinker (Jun 30, 2006)

eightyseven said:


> Gotta go with the Miami Sound Machine, still...
> 
> Gloria Estefan vs. ARETHA


Oh, please...ARETHA!

Aretha vs FreeThinker (sounds like fun).

.


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## Esme (Jun 30, 2006)

I'm sorry FreeThinker, but Aretha would take you down... and then she'd look for who's next. 


Aretha v. Diana Ross (Diva Battle)


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## curvluver (Jun 30, 2006)

As much as I think that Diana is just MEAN and CRUEL, I think Aretha will kick Diana's scrawny little Ass... I'd have to give the round to Aretha....

I think a more interesting melee would be...

Aretha Vs. Patti LaBelle

(I'm cooking up some popcorn just thinking about this one...)


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## HappyFatChick (Jun 30, 2006)

Aretha.

Aretha vs. Fantasia?


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## butch (Jun 30, 2006)

Aretha, no question.

Here's a tough one-

Aretha vs. Barbra Streisand.


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## curvluver (Jun 30, 2006)

I'd have to say Aretha again (boy she's in fighting form today). Babs tried hard, and kept hitting her, but every shot made Aretha angry. Aretha picks Babs up and threw her ass out of the building....

Aretha vs. Queen Latifah


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## eightyseven (Jun 30, 2006)

You kidding? The Queen even bows to Aretha.

Aretha vs. Gloria Gaynor... who will "survive"?


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## lmbchp (Jun 30, 2006)

I'd have to go with Aretha on that one too!

Aretha Franklin vs J Lo


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## curvluver (Jun 30, 2006)

Aretha is starting to get winded from the extended battles she's just been in, but J Lo overswings in her first shot (due to strong uneven body weight distribution), and Aretha crushes her like a bug.


Aretha va. Pamela Anderson


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## FreeThinker (Jun 30, 2006)

Esme said:


> I'm sorry FreeThinker, but Aretha would take you down... and then she'd look for who's next.
> 
> 
> Aretha v. Diana Ross (Diva Battle)


I knew that was gonna happen...

..but I'm _good_ with it!




curluver said:


> Aretha va. Pamela Anderson



Shamela Blanderson?

pff...

Aretha , in about a second-and-a-half.


Aretha vs Lucy Lawless (Xena)

.


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## Jack Skellington (Jun 30, 2006)

This thread reminds me of the heated fanboy battles like who is the better captain, Kirk or Picard. 

BTW: It's Kirk obviously.


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## FreeThinker (Jun 30, 2006)

Obviously.

I saw a "Star Trek (TNG) vs Star Blazers" battle scene (in text) on the web.

Very funny, if you have knowledge of both shows.




I guess Aretha and Lucy are still at it...


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## lmbchp (Jun 30, 2006)

I'm thinking Lucy has to win over Aretha?! 

And I would have to go with Picard... can't stand Kirk!

Ok now it's Lucy vs Picard! LOL


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## mossystate (Jun 30, 2006)

Lucy

She would whine until his ears bled.."Ohhhhhh PICCCCCCCY"..he would punch himself in the face, until he went down for the count.I think she would win any fight.

Sooooooo....

Dr.Spock(baby doctor) vs Dr.Suess(child whisperer)


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## Esme (Jun 30, 2006)

Dr. Spock could not, would not win this fight.
He could not, would not, with all his might.


Dr. Seuss V. J.K.Rowling


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## FreeThinker (Jun 30, 2006)

Dr. Seuss. He could rhyme. So could Muhammed Ali. It stands to reason, he must be a great fighter.

Dr. Seuss vs Dr. Johnny Fever (Howard Hesseman)

.


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## eightyseven (Jul 1, 2006)

Seuss... definitely.

Dr. Seuss vs. Mark Twain... eh? EH?


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## FreeThinker (Jul 1, 2006)

Hmm...both authors, both used pseudonyms, both dead.

Tough call...


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## Esme (Jul 1, 2006)

eightyseven said:


> Seuss... definitely.
> 
> Dr. Seuss vs. Mark Twain... eh? EH?




Twain would surreptitiously fill Seuss with shot, thus making him slower and unable to run from the fight. A viscious beating would ensue.

Twain v. Hemingway


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## FreeThinker (Jul 1, 2006)

Esme said:


> Twain would surreptitiously fill Seuss with shot, thus making him slower and unable to run from the fight. A viscious beating would ensue.
> 
> Twain v. Hemingway


Hemingway. He'd get to it while Twain was still mired in preamble.

Hemingway vs Pee-Wee Herman.


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## eightyseven (Jul 1, 2006)

Pee-Wee would totally win... just for shock value.

Pee-Wee Herman vs. Steve from Blues Clues
THE BATTLE OF MESSED UP KIDS TV SHOW HOSTS


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## curvluver (Jul 1, 2006)

Pee Wee would shock and awe Steve with something he pulled out of his pants.... He would then beat the snot out of Steve Buffy-Style...

Pee Wee Herman vs. Pete Townshend 
(Battle of the Porno Charged Stars...)


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## eightyseven (Jul 1, 2006)

Ahhhh... kid-touchers. *SHIVER*

Pete will take Pee-Wee with his high-voltage rock and roll.

Pete Townshend vs. Peter Gabriel (Pete vs. Pete!)


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## lmbchp (Jul 1, 2006)

Come on this is a no brainer, Peter Gabriel all the way!!!!

Peter Gabriel vs (I can't think of anyone, PG is my love!)


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## Wayne_Zitkus (Jul 1, 2006)

eightyseven said:


> Ahhhh... kid-touchers. *SHIVER*
> 
> Pete will take Pee-Wee with his high-voltage rock and roll.
> 
> Pete Townshend vs. Peter Gabriel (Pete vs. Pete!)


Pete Townshend - he'd smash his guitar over Gabriel's head, and shove the jagged end of the guitar neck through his heart like a vampire stake.

Pete Townshend vs. Billy Joel.


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## HappyFatChick (Jul 1, 2006)

Pete Townshend. In a heartbeat...... 

Pete Townshend vs. Ozzie Osbourne?


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## FreeThinker (Jul 1, 2006)

HappyFatChick said:


> Pete Townshend. In a heartbeat......
> 
> Pete Townshend vs. Ozzie Osbourne?


Tough one...Townsend would probably wear himself out smashing that perfectly good guitar (John Hiatt reference) on Osbourne's head without Ozzie feeling a thing!

Or Ozzie could just forget why he was there and wander off, giving a default win to Townsend.

I'll leave that for someone else to decide.

.


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## HappyFatChick (Jul 1, 2006)

LOL!
I thought about that right after I posted it and maybe Osbourne should have been put up against Meatloaf? I don't know any guitar smashers as good as Townshed so this was a tough one.


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## Rainahblue (Jul 1, 2006)

FreeThinker said:


> Tough one...Townsend would probably wear himself out smashing that perfectly good guitar (John Hiatt reference) on Osbourne's head without Ozzie feeling a thing!
> 
> Or Ozzie could just forget why he was there and wander off, giving a default win to Townsend.
> 
> ...



I'll say Townshend because I really do think Ozzie would wander off mumbling "Shaaarrrroooonn..."

Okay Pete Townshend vs. Mick Jagger baby ​


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## FreeThinker (Jul 1, 2006)

Rainahblue said:


> I'll say Townshend because I really do think Ozzie would wander off mumbling "Shaaarrrroooonn..."
> 
> Okay Townshend vs. Mick Jagger baby ​


If Mick hasn't killed himself with all he's done so far, he must be invincible!

Mick Jagger vs Keith Richards (it had to happen)


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## Rainahblue (Jul 1, 2006)

Okay look, everyone knows Richards had something implanted during that recent surgery. Some sort of microchip to make him 40 years younger (internally at least).  So Richards wins, but Jagger almost pulled it off...

Keith Richards vs. Bob Barker (another ageless wonder)​


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## FreeThinker (Jul 1, 2006)

Rainahblue said:


> Okay look, everyone knows Richards had something implanted during that recent surgery. Some sort of microchip to make him 40 years younger (internally at least).  So Richards wins, but Jagger almost pulled it off...
> 
> Keith Richards vs. Bob Barker (another ageless wonder)​


Barker encourages spaying and neutering of pets. I'd like to give it to him on that, but Richards seems tough as nails.

I'd give it to Keef.

Keith Richards vs (the perennially young) Cliff Richard


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## Rainahblue (Jul 1, 2006)

All I can remember of Cliff Richard is masses of dark 80s hair...

Cliff Richard vs. Mel Gibson​


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## FreeThinker (Jul 1, 2006)

Rainahblue said:


> All I can remember of Cliff Richard is masses of dark 80s hair...
> 
> Cliff Richard vs. Mel Gibson​


Gibson.

He'd paint himself blue, flash his goodies, and have at Keef with a broadsword.

Mel Gibson vs Gilligan


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## HappyFatChick (Jul 1, 2006)

Mel Gibson.

Mel Gibson vs. Dick Clark.


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## eightyseven (Jul 1, 2006)

Mel Gibson can kiss my fat Jewish behind. I can't stand that man. He has no understanding of the implications of anything.

Dick Clark wins... I don't care if Mel Gibson was in Braveheart.

Dick Clark vs. Alex Trebeck


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## Rainahblue (Jul 2, 2006)

Hmmm

What is, I think Alex could kick ass if he really tried?  

Alex Trebeck vs. Regis Philbin​


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## eightyseven (Jul 2, 2006)

Definitely Reeg on this one... he'd throw Alex off with his uncanny ability to overly emphasize the last word of every sentence 

Regis Philbin vs. Jeff Bridges (a.k.a. "The Dude")


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## Esme (Jul 2, 2006)

Jeff would take Reege to school and teach him about pain. (Geez, that makes him sound like Chuck Norris!)

Jeff Bridges V. Dennis Quaid


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## Rainahblue (Jul 2, 2006)

LOL
Good one!  

Um, um...

I'm gonna have to say Jeff Bridges would manage to muster up a little bit more emotion than the ever stoic Mr. Quaid, and therefore win. Actually Bridges is usually stoic, Quaid is just... bleh.

Jeff Bridges vs. Jeff Daniels!​


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## Esme (Jul 2, 2006)

Jeff Daniels is a Michigan boy, so he gets to win. Yay Jeff!

Jeff Daniels v. Steve Buscemi


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## Timberwolf (Jul 2, 2006)

Well, after some research (I didn't know them by name...) I'd say Steve...

Steve Buscemi vs. Ronald McDonald


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## Esme (Jul 2, 2006)

Steverino all the way... Ronald and his McNuggets would go home crying.

Steve Buscemi V. Christopher Walken


----------



## HappyFatChick (Jul 2, 2006)

Christopher Walken.

Christopher Walken vs. Clint Eastwood?


----------



## Timberwolf (Jul 2, 2006)

Clint? Clint!

Clint Eastwood vs. Telly Savalas


----------



## Esme (Jul 2, 2006)

Oh my, Clint Easwtood would make Telly beg for a lollipop.


Cint Eastwood V. John Wayne


----------



## Timberwolf (Jul 2, 2006)

That's a tough one... No... still Clint...


Clint Eastwood vs. Ike Turner


----------



## mossystate (Jul 2, 2006)

Clint...after I gave him superhuman powers...Ike Turner needs to be beaten..and big time....


Clint vs Bill O'reilly


----------



## Rainahblue (Jul 3, 2006)

Clint would kick Bill's pompous tush.

Clint Eastwood vs. Ice Cube

 Well, why not?​


----------



## eightyseven (Jul 3, 2006)

Eh... Cube can sort of rap and act... but Eastwood can direct. I take Clint.

Clint Eastwood vs. Emeril


----------



## Rainahblue (Jul 3, 2006)

LOL

I think Emeril's "BAM!" would burst Clint's eardrums, and the pain affects his ability to win the challenge...

Emeril vs. the ever-so-perky Rachel Ray.​


----------



## eightyseven (Jul 3, 2006)

Ah... the battle of the over-glorified TV chefs. I'm taking Rachael and that cute booty of hers.

Rachael Ray vs. Giada DeLaurentis


----------



## Rainahblue (Jul 3, 2006)

Rachel has more meat so....
she wins! 

Rachel Ray vs. Winona Ryder

Hey, it's 1am, what do you want from me?  ​


----------



## Wayne_Zitkus (Jul 3, 2006)

Rainahblue said:


> Rachel has more meat so....
> she wins!
> 
> Rachel Ray vs. Winona Ryder
> ...


Rachael Ray - she'll hit Winona upside the head with a large bottle of EVOO.

Rachael Ray vs. Bobby Flay.


----------



## HappyFatChick (Jul 3, 2006)

Bobby Flay.

Bobby Flay vs. Galloping Gourmet.


----------



## eightyseven (Jul 3, 2006)

Sir Flay wins the Day.

Bobby Flay vs. A Charging Bull

Hehehehe


----------



## Esme (Jul 3, 2006)

Are you suggesting there's a difference between Bobby Flay and a charging bull? LOL

Flay wins.

Bobby Flay v. Bobby Knight (Bobby Battle)


----------



## eightyseven (Jul 3, 2006)

Flay maybe able to do a great spice rub, but can he dodge a CHAIR? I think not. Knight takes it.

Bobby Knight vs. Lou Pinella... battle of the hot-headed coaches!


----------



## Esme (Jul 3, 2006)

I'm gonna say Knight... he's got the Radio Shack bucks backing him.

Bobby Knight v. Bobby "Raging Bull" De Niro (Bobby Battleart Deux)


----------



## eightyseven (Jul 3, 2006)

De Niro gets my pick because at least he can crack a smile once in a while... like that ONE time at the end of "Meet the Fockers."

Robert DeNiro vs. Jack Nicholson


----------



## HappyFatChick (Jul 3, 2006)

DeNiro.

DeNiro vs. Al Pacino.


----------



## Esme (Jul 4, 2006)

DeNiro again... just cuz. 

Robert DeNiro v. Joan "No More Wire Hangers" Crawford


----------



## FreeThinker (Jul 4, 2006)

Esme said:


> DeNiro again... just cuz.
> 
> Robert DeNiro v. Joan "No More Wire Hangers" Crawford


Mommie takes this one...DeNiro took one look and fled in terror.

Wuss.

You knew this one was coming:

Joan Crawford vs Bette Davis

.


----------



## Esme (Jul 4, 2006)

FreeThinker said:


> Mommie takes this one...DeNiro took one look and fled in terror.
> 
> Wuss.
> 
> ...



Yes, in fact, I did. 

In the "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?" battle Joan whacks Betts upside the head with a dead bird and chucks her down the stairs. Battle goes to Joan.

Joan Crawford v. Faye Dunaway


----------



## FreeThinker (Jul 4, 2006)

Esme said:


> Yes, in fact, I did.
> 
> In the "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?" battle Joan whacks Betts upside the head with a dead bird and chucks her down the stairs. Battle goes to Joan.
> 
> Joan Crawford v. Faye Dunaway


Faye is done away.

Joan Crawford vs Joan Collins


----------



## Esme (Jul 4, 2006)

Joan Collins would break a nail, and while calling her attorney to set up the lawsuit, Joan Crawford would begin the full-on whooping. Battle goes to Crawford again.


Joan Crawford v. Cher


----------



## HappyFatChick (Jul 4, 2006)

Joan Crawford.

Joan Crawford vs. Joan Collins?


----------



## Esme (Jul 4, 2006)

I've got a real case of deja vu right now.........


----------



## HappyFatChick (Jul 4, 2006)

LOL. Duh. Sorry. I don't know how I missed that....:doh:


----------



## FreeThinker (Jul 4, 2006)

Esme said:


> Joan Collins would break a nail, and while calling her attorney to set up the lawsuit, Joan Crawford would begin the full-on whooping. Battle goes to Crawford again.
> 
> 
> Joan Crawford v. Cher


Cher shatters into tiny fragments at the first blow from Crawford.

Joan Crawford vs Cindy Church

*evil laugh*


----------



## Esme (Jul 4, 2006)

The Crawford juggernaut is on a roll... Crawford wins easily.


Crawford V. Divine (Drag/QuasiDrag Queen Battle)


----------



## Isa (Jul 4, 2006)

Esme said:


> The Crawford juggernaut is on a roll... Crawford wins easily.
> 
> 
> Crawford V. Divine (Drag/QuasiDrag Queen Battle)



Now that would be a tie. Afterwards they could become the tag team champions of the world.


----------



## HappyFatChick (Jul 4, 2006)

Crawford.

Crawford vs. Shirley MacLaine


----------



## FreeThinker (Jul 4, 2006)

HappyFatChick said:


> Crawford.
> 
> Crawford vs. Shirley MacLaine


Now that's just evil!

*heh, heh, heh*

Crawford, and you knew it (just like I knew what would happen to poor little Cindy Church)!

Joan Crawford vs Leona Helmsley


----------



## HappyFatChick (Jul 4, 2006)

LOL! OMG! I didn't even think of her!
I'm staying out of this one. I think it would be a tie?


----------



## FreeThinker (Jul 4, 2006)

HappyFatChick said:


> LOL! OMG! I didn't even think of her!
> I'm staying out of this one. I think it would be a tie?


It was hard to come up with anything resembling a worthy adversary for Mommie.

I want to see how this turns out...


----------



## eightyseven (Jul 4, 2006)

I wish I knew who EITHER of these people were, or I'd pick one...


----------



## Esme (Jul 4, 2006)

Crawford's got the staying power where a Helmsley does not. It's a struggle. It's ugly. It's brutal. Craford wins again though.



Crawford V. Marlon Brando


----------



## FreeThinker (Jul 4, 2006)

Esme said:


> Crawford's got the staying power where a Helmsley does not. It's a struggle. It's ugly. It's brutal. Craford wins again though.
> 
> 
> 
> Crawford V. Marlon Brando


Brando refused to attend.

Crawford wins again.

Joan Crawford vs Momma Carlson (WKRP)


----------



## Timberwolf (Jul 5, 2006)

I'd think, after all these battles, Joan must be tired... Momma wins...

OK... Here we go:

Momma Carlson vs. The Burger King


----------



## missaf (Jul 5, 2006)

Rainahblue said:


> *
> Rosie O'Donnell * vs. *Star Jones *​



http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=Rosie+O'Donnell&word2=Star+Jones


----------



## missaf (Jul 5, 2006)

Who would win? Dimensions or Skinny People??

http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=Dimensions&word2=Skinny+People


----------



## HappyFatChick (Jul 5, 2006)

Duh...
Need you even ask???
Dimensions.

Dimensions vs. MySpace

http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=Dimensions&word2=MySpace


----------



## Timberwolf (Jul 5, 2006)

Duh...
Need you even ask???
Dimensions.

Dimensions vs. The Burger King


----------



## HappyFatChick (Jul 6, 2006)

Duh.
Need you even ask?
Dimensions.

Dimensions vs. Priceline?

http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=Dimensions&word2=priceline

I know.... DUH!!! DIMENSIONS RULES!!

p.s. Dimensions vs. North Korea? HAH!

http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=Dimensions&word2=North+Korea


----------



## Esme (Jul 7, 2006)

I don't even know how to respond to that because Dims is always going to win, so I think I'll start a new battle...


Mary Kate Olsen V. Ashley Olsen


----------



## eightyseven (Jul 8, 2006)

I'll take the bacon cheeseburger BOTH twins didn't eat.


----------



## Rainahblue (Jul 8, 2006)

eightyseven said:


> I'll take the bacon cheeseburger BOTH twins didn't eat.



 ROFL

Aww can I have the fries?

Mary Kate wins because her heavy bracelet knocked Ashley out.

Mary Kate vs. Hilary Duff (who I can't stand).​


----------



## Isa (Jul 8, 2006)

eightyseven said:


> I'll take the bacon cheeseburger BOTH twins didn't eat.



LOL!!!!!! Can you half it so I can share?


----------



## FreeThinker (Jul 8, 2006)

Rainahblue said:


> ROFL
> 
> Aww can I have the fries?
> 
> ...


Mary Kate. Better living through chemicals...

Mary Kate Olson vs Elvira

*hee, hee*


----------



## HappyFatChick (Jul 8, 2006)

Mary Kate.

Mary Kate vs. Tara Reid.


----------



## eightyseven (Jul 9, 2006)

HappyFatChick said:


> Mary Kate.
> 
> Mary Kate vs. Tara Reid.



I'm serious... the bacon cheeseburger still sounds better.

I'll take Tara, because she was in the original American Pie.

Tara Reid vs. Screech (from Saved by the Bell)


----------



## Esme (Jul 9, 2006)

Tara is weak because she's a Hollywood starlet and doesn't EAT... so Screech wins.


Screech v. Long Duk Dong (Nerd Battle)


----------



## Rainahblue (Jul 9, 2006)

Screech wins! He gave it his all so that he can save his house, you know.

Screech vs. Brian Austin Green (nerdy David on 90210)​


----------



## Shikamaru (Jul 9, 2006)

gah, missed my chance again.


----------



## eightyseven (Jul 9, 2006)

Long Duk Dong kicks both their bums, in revenge.

Long Duk Dong vs. Data (from the Goonies)
... the awkward 80s movies Asian characters!


----------



## Rainahblue (Jul 9, 2006)

Omigosh Data totally wins. He invents a special boxing glove to give him super strength...

Data (Goonies) vs. Data (Star Trek)  ​


----------



## FreeThinker (Jul 9, 2006)

Rainahblue said:


> Omigosh Data totally wins. He invents a special boxing glove to give him super strength...
> 
> Data (Goonies) vs. Data (Star Trek)  ​


Data (Star Trek).

More powerful hydraulics.

Data vs Dr. McCoy

(He has a lot of anger)


----------



## Rainahblue (Jul 9, 2006)

Hmm.... his anger works against him this time.

Data vs. Leonard Nimoy - I mean, Dr. Spock.  ​


----------



## FreeThinker (Jul 9, 2006)

Rainahblue said:


> Hmm.... his anger works against him this time.
> 
> Data vs. Leonard Nimoy - I mean, Dr. Spock.  ​


Wait a minute--do you mean Mr. Spock (from Star trek), or Dr. Spock (child psychologist, or whatever)?

I'll assume you meant Mr. Spock.

I'd like to give this one to Spock, but I'm afraid Data would take this round.

Data vs Kenny (South Park)

I foresee tragedy...


----------



## Rainahblue (Jul 9, 2006)

Omigosh Kenny takes it! 
Go Kenny!
But... Kenny look out!
Awwww he was hit by a truck as he walked away from the ring. 

So by default, Data wins again.

Data vs. Kate Winslet - Well, why not? 

Oh, yes I meant Mr. Spock.




​


----------



## Esme (Jul 9, 2006)

Spock defeats Kate, logically.


Mr. Spock. v. Dr. Phil


----------



## FreeThinker (Jul 9, 2006)

Esme said:


> Spock defeats Kate, logically.
> 
> 
> Mr. Spock. v. Dr. Phil


Spock defeats Dr. Phil with a nerve-pinch.

'Cause Doc Phil has a lot of nerve, I tells ya!

Spock vs Tuvoc (sp?) (Star Trek Voyager)


----------



## Rainahblue (Jul 9, 2006)

Dr. Phil always reminds me of Foghorn Leghorn. 
He talks Mr. Spock to death and thus takes the win.

Dr. Phil vs. John Edward​


----------



## FreeThinker (Jul 9, 2006)

Rainahblue said:


> Dr. Phil always reminds me of Foghorn Leghorn.
> He talks Mr. Spock to death and thus takes the win.
> 
> Dr. Phil vs. John Edward​


Hey, what happened?


----------



## Rainahblue (Jul 9, 2006)

FreeThinker said:


> Spock defeats Dr. Phil with a nerve-pinch.
> 
> 'Cause Doc Phil has a lot of nerve, I tells ya!
> 
> Spock vs Tuvoc (sp?) (Star Trek Voyager)



Hey! How dare you declare Spock the winner!
That's it!  

*Freethinker vs. Rainahblue*
​


----------



## FreeThinker (Jul 9, 2006)

Rainahblue said:


> Hey! How dare you declare Spock the winner!
> That's it!
> 
> *Freethinker vs. Rainahblue*
> ​


I'll mertilize ya!

I'll hit you so hard, you'll starve to death bouncing!

I'll...naah.

I can't hit a _lady!_

You win.


Dr. Phil vs. John Edward


----------



## Rainahblue (Jul 9, 2006)

LOL
Thank god - I'm scared to get punched.​


----------



## Timberwolf (Jul 9, 2006)

FreeThinker said:


> I'll mertilize ya!
> 
> I'll hit you so hard, you'll starve to death bouncing!
> 
> ...


John Edward...


J.Edward vs. The Lawnmower Man...


----------



## Esme (Jul 9, 2006)

The Lawnmower Man would mow down J.E. 


Lawnmower Man v. Chuckie


----------



## FreeThinker (Jul 9, 2006)

Esme said:


> The Lawnmower Man would mow down J.E.
> 
> 
> Lawnmower Man v. Chuckie


Chuckie. He doesn't even need batteries!

Chuckie vs Chuckie Cheese


----------



## Esme (Jul 9, 2006)

Chuckie would make pizza out of Chuck. E. 


Chuckie V. Jason


----------



## HappyFatChick (Jul 10, 2006)

Chuckie.

Chuckie vs. Norman Bates


----------



## Esme (Jul 10, 2006)

Chuckie again.

Chuckie V. Chuck D.


----------



## Rainahblue (Jul 12, 2006)

Esme said:


> Chuckie again.
> 
> Chuckie V. Chuck D.



Chuck D. baby! 

Chuck D. vs. Mos Def:wubu: (my ex-husband)​


----------



## HappyFatChick (Jul 12, 2006)

Mos Def.

Mos Def vs. 50cent (fitty)


----------



## Rainahblue (Jul 14, 2006)

HappyFatChick said:


> Mos Def.
> 
> Mos Def vs. 50cent (fitty)



I hate 50 Cent, so Mos takes it because he actually has something worth saying.

*Mos Def vs. Keanu Reeves*

Wow, both of my ex-husbands now pitted against each other. Let's make this a wrestling match. Oil wrestling.  ​


----------



## Timberwolf (Jul 14, 2006)

Hmmm, I'd say Keanu. Don't ask why...


Keanu Reeves vs. Robbie Williams


----------



## eightyseven (Jul 14, 2006)

Keanu.

Keanu Reeves vs. The other guy from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

WYLD STALLYNS BABY!


----------



## Timberwolf (Jul 14, 2006)

Keanu again... The other guy may have won, but after he noticed I didn't know him, he gave up...

Keanu Reeves vs. Captain Jack Sparrow


----------



## Esme (Jul 14, 2006)

Captain Jack had Keeanu Keelhauled.

Captin Jack Sparrow v. Captain Kangaroo


----------



## Wayne_Zitkus (Jul 15, 2006)

Esme said:


> Captain Jack had Keeanu Keelhauled.
> 
> Captin Jack Sparrow v. Captain Kangaroo


Captain Kangaroo - he'd get help from Mr. Green Jeans, Mr. Moose, and Bunny Rabbit.

Captain Kangaroo vs. Mister Rogers.


----------



## swordchick (Jul 15, 2006)

Rainahblue said:


> I hate 50 Cent, so Mos takes it because he actually has something worth saying.
> 
> *Mos Def vs. Keanu Reeves*
> 
> Wow, both of my ex-husbands now pitted against each other. Let's make this a wrestling match. Oil wrestling.  ​


 
*Mos definitely a hottie....I love him in "Brown Sugar"!*


----------



## HappyFatChick (Jul 15, 2006)

Mr. Rogers.

Mr. Rogers vs. Eddie Murphy's impression/imitation of Mr. Rogers on SNL


----------



## Esme (Jul 15, 2006)

Mr. Robinson zips his sweater, cusses out his landlord, and gives Mr. Rogers a beatin' from which he never wakes.


Eddie as Mr. Robinson V. Eddie as Buckwheat


----------



## HappyFatChick (Jul 16, 2006)

Eddie as Mr. Robinson. 

Eddie as Mr. Robinson vs. Chris Rock


----------



## FreeThinker (Jul 21, 2006)

HappyFatChick said:


> Eddie as Mr. Robinson.
> 
> Eddie as Mr. Robinson vs. Chris Rock


Eddie as Mr. Robinson.

Eddie Murphy as Mr. Robinson vs Eddie Murphy as Bill Cosby


----------



## ScreamingChicken (Jul 21, 2006)

FreeThinker said:


> Eddie as Mr. Robinson.
> 
> Eddie Murphy as Mr. Robinson vs Eddie Murphy as Bill Cosby


Mr. Robinson would do some dastardly things to Cosby involving cans of Coke and jello Pudding pops.

Mr. Robinson v. Murphy as Gumbi


----------

