# Public displays of fat...



## stldpn (Dec 20, 2009)

Not that long ago my brother and I were at a bar. For a very long time, he was the type of guy who spent hours in the gym working off extra pounds... Lately, not so much. Over the last two weeks I've watched him obsess over it, I've quietly wondered whether it wasn't an actual interest in feederism that was driving the weight gain given the fact that his bbw gf is obsessive about making sure he's not hungry. But I digress.

He's got an extra ten lbs or so on him and he's pretty much stopped going to the gym. Last week in the bar we actually ran into someone he knew from the gym... They asked in passing what he'd been up to etc. etc. his response was to lift his shirt jiggle his belly and say "not much." Obviously his former workout buddy was less than impressed but it made me wonder about myself and my own sense of modesty. For guys it's generally acceptable for a man to be shirtless, some fat men on the other hand wouldn't be caught dead shirtless, I'd like to think I'm in the middle. I don't look for opportunities to show my belly in public, but I don't wear a shirt on the beach. 

So I suppose I'm asking the guys here. How modest are you in public?


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## BigChaz (Dec 21, 2009)

I'd hazard a guess to say I am somewhat normal. I don't hide or anything. I am not the first person to take off my shirt, but I have no problems with it. 

A few years ago? I felt ashamed all the time. My parents are strong Christians and ultra-conservative and basically raised me to feel embarrassed and ashamed all of the time. If all of my friends were yelling and screaming outside while playing games, I was expected to be the one kid on the field not yelling and screaming to show that I was "better". Little things like that over a lifetime raised me to be the most self-conscious person I know. They had me convinced that wherever I went, people were looking at how chubby I was and that I should be hiding in a corner somewhere. I was convinced this was true until I got to college and realized nobody cared.

Finally when I left for college I was able to break out of that mindset, stop being chubby and go full blown fat, and stop being a conservative robot. Now I am a fat, foul-mouthed liberal who doesn't give a shit what people think.


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## stldpn (Dec 21, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> They had me convinced that wherever I went, people were looking at how chubby I was and that I should be hiding in a corner somewhere. I was convinced this was true until I got to college and realized nobody cared.



Well, I'm more conservative possibly in mindset. But, the fact that 
I and many other fat guys are more inhibited, more modest, or at least encouraged to be more modest about our fat bellies made me wonder what that really meant. 

Especially since modesty is something that you would normally associate with an element of sexuality. As if, and I realize I may be stretching here, a fat man's bare belly is somehow more sexual than a thin one. I was wondering if it was one of those buried evolutionary cues, you know the same way we men supposedly fancy larger breasts and behinds because they signify the fat deposits we look for in a healthy mate.


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## Melian (Dec 21, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> Finally when I left for college I was able to break out of that mindset, stop being chubby and go full blown fat, and stop being a conservative robot. Now I am a fat, foul-mouthed liberal who doesn't give a shit what people think.



I wanted to rep that for being hot, but I'm spent for today.

[rep rain cheque]


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## FishCharming (Dec 21, 2009)

exposing your belly in the animal kingdom is a sign of submission... not sure how that fits in with your theory but figured i'd throw that out there. 

I'll take my shirt off when the occasion calls for it but i usually don't go looking for the occasion. I've always been more embarrassed of my moobs than my belly though. i've got a pretty nice set. but then i figured that there's a pretty large bisexual female population so they're just a bonus


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## WillSpark (Dec 21, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> I'd hazard a guess to say I am somewhat normal. I don't hide or anything. I am not the first person to take off my shirt, but I have no problems with it.
> 
> A few years ago? I felt ashamed all the time. My parents are strong Christians and ultra-conservative and basically raised me to feel embarrassed and ashamed all of the time. If all of my friends were yelling and screaming outside while playing games, I was expected to be the one kid on the field not yelling and screaming to show that I was "better". Little things like that over a lifetime raised me to be the most self-conscious person I know. They had me convinced that wherever I went, people were looking at how chubby I was and that I should be hiding in a corner somewhere. I was convinced this was true until I got to college and realized nobody cared.
> 
> Finally when I left for college I was able to break out of that mindset, stop being chubby and go full blown fat, and stop being a conservative robot. Now I am a fat, foul-mouthed liberal who doesn't give a shit what people think.



God, story of my life. Except I got there at about the end of Sophomore, beginning of Junior year of High School. I was able to enjoy the high school experience thanks to that.


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## bigbri (Dec 29, 2009)

At a beach or at a pool i have no problem removing my shirt, but just working in the yard on a hot day, I am uncomfortable without wearing at least a T or strap shirt. Thankfully in the bedroom I have never been self-conscious removing mine or my lover's clothes. In fact, I wish I could find someplace that made sexy men's lingerie in truely BHM sizes. I would love to tease my lover.


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## fatterisbetter (Dec 29, 2009)

I normally don't shy away from showing my blubber in public in places like the beach or a pool, but that's about it. Although I wear tank tops a lot because I live in a hot place and you can probably get a pretty good look at my man tits that way. I am also not overly concerned that my gut occasionally "outhangs" the bottom of my t-shirt.


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## RJI (Dec 29, 2009)

I let my shit all hang out.....  

I don't like seeing mens "plumber crack" so i try to keep the pants up and belt tight if possible.


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## stldpn (Dec 29, 2009)

bigbri said:


> At a beach or at a pool i have no problem removing my shirt, but just working in the yard on a hot day, I am uncomfortable without wearing at least a T or strap shirt. Thankfully in the bedroom I have never been self-conscious removing mine or my lover's clothes. In fact, I wish I could find someplace that made sexy men's lingerie in truely BHM sizes. I would love to tease my lover.



sexy men's lingerie? wtf is that? seriously?


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## stldpn (Dec 29, 2009)

fatterisbetter said:


> I am also not overly concerned that my gut occasionally "outhangs" the bottom of my t-shirt.



see I'll take off my shirt... but the belly underhang... I consider this to be a fashion faux paux only rivaled by those grungy half tanks from the 80s. Seriously, you can buy a 5xlt as easily as you can buy a 5xl... just my thing... it looks more sloppy than sexy


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## BigChaz (Dec 29, 2009)

Ahahaha, holy shit, I didn't know man lingerie existed. I thought women's lingerie was man lingerie since it's really a gift for the man. I was wrong!

http://www.intimatewholesalers.com/menslingerie.html

*LOOK AT IT.*

*LOOK AT THAT CROTCH ACTION*

*LOOK. AT. IT.*

*THAT SHIT IS CRAZY*

You would literally have to kill me and put that shit on my dead body.


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## BigChaz (Dec 29, 2009)

Hey, does this count as man lingerie?


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## likeitmatters (Dec 30, 2009)

stldpn said:


> see I'll take off my shirt... but the belly underhang... I consider this to be a fashion faux paux only rivaled by those grungy half tanks from the 80s. Seriously, you can buy a 5xlt as easily as you can buy a 5xl... just my thing... it looks more sloppy than sexy




to me a fashion faux paux is wearing your long shirt and having it blow in the wind and makes you look absolutely stupid...I say tuck it in and show off what you have and I prefer a man to let his gut hang over his belt anyday to the having his pants up to his neck which makes him less attractive to me or hiding it in his pants...Makes me get sick looking at him....lol


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## likeitmatters (Dec 30, 2009)

stldpn said:


> sexy men's lingerie? wtf is that? seriously?




like bikini underwear or tank tops that sort of thing....Stldpn, you dont ever try to dress sexy for your partner in crime? Though I have to say he could have used better verbage though but I understood what he was saying.


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## stldpn (Dec 30, 2009)

likeitmatters said:


> to me a fashion faux paux is wearing your long shirt and having it blow in the wind and makes you look absolutely stupid...I say tuck it in and show off what you have and I prefer a man to let his gut hang over his belt anyday to the having his pants up to his neck which makes him less attractive to me or hiding it in his pants...Makes me get sick looking at him....lol



Well I hope it goes without saying but i suppose it doesn't for some people. Clothes that don't fit, especially if they're too big, don't hide a big belly they only accentuate it and make you look sloppy. Granted, I'm not a ssbhm but I've yet to be in a position where finding something that fit was totally impossible. It takes a bit more fussing, but if you want to make a good impression, especially on the opposite sex clothes that fit should be a priority.


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## stldpn (Dec 30, 2009)

likeitmatters said:


> like bikini underwear or tank tops that sort of thing....Stldpn, you dont ever try to dress sexy for your partner in crime? Though I have to say he could have used better verbage though but I understood what he was saying.



I've worn a jock... does that count?


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## BigChaz (Dec 30, 2009)

stldpn said:


> I've worn a jock... does that count?



How did he feel about that situation?


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## likeitmatters (Dec 30, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> How did he feel about that situation?




I am not aware of any women that love a man in a jock unless you want the ladies to see you in a picture in your jock and they can make that determination. I prefer bikini underwear on a man because they hug the body so well...

so ladies, do you think stldpn should show you a pic of him in a jock and you can tell him what you think? lol

:bow:


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## stldpn (Dec 30, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> How did he feel about that situation?



:blush: you don't even wanna know

as far as wearing a jock for the girls here they've already seen everthing I have


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## Pinkbelly (Dec 31, 2009)

BigChaz said:


> How did he feel about that situation?



HEYO!!!! *snapsnapsnap!*

....i don't usually show off the belly myself, but get a few drinks in me at the right time and place and i've been known to end up nude in a hot tub.


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## rabbitislove (Dec 31, 2009)

Threads like these are why I end up spending the rest of my day after Dims walking around with my binder in front of my crotch. Yes the Pokemon one with the Rush sticker on it...


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## RJI (Dec 31, 2009)

stldpn said:


> I've worn a jock... does that count?



ugh, i spent half of my life in one and never thought of them as lingerie for men.... i didn't save my last one from college so i'll have to get a new one if its determined to be sexy.


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## IszyStone (Dec 31, 2009)

alright now I'm looking at the men's lingerie, and I can't stop laughing...and shuddering.


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## stldpn (Dec 31, 2009)

IszyStone said:


> alright now I'm looking at the men's lingerie, and I can't stop laughing...and shuddering.



who knew eh? I mean I never realized there was a proper way to exhibit that


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## RJI (Dec 31, 2009)

That "Mens Lingerie" I always considered to be fetish wear. 

I'll stick to my boxer/briefs.


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## tankgirl (Jan 1, 2010)

:smitten: :wubu: :smitten:
Off the top of my head, I can NOT think of ANY guy I'd NOT like to see in that.
:smitten: :wubu: :smitten:
Or, with fewer negatives, I LOVE that stuff! Gimme! Okay, yeah, a few exceptions, but.... Dayum.... If it came in the right sizes... Oooh, daaaaayum.....
:smitten: :wubu: :smitten:
...Only a _few_ exceptions....
Leather or PVC (think Trinity's clothes) and/or fishnets on guys is the hotness. Studs on leather is cool, and cold if applied interestingly. 
There needs to be a drooly face. Really. *shiver*
I wish I had money, I'd order some of that for my sig other RIGHT now....
*favourites site for use later*

I'm with you, Rabbit.
*crosses legs firmly and covers with own pokemon binder*
Cept mine has an old Metallica sticker. Heh. 
((Which binder you got? I've got the old one with the Charizard on.))


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## tankgirl (Jan 1, 2010)

It occured to me that someone might wonder why I cover: I soaked my shorts; if I was near anyone in real life, I'd be covering the wet bits.
You go ahead and think about THAT.


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## veil (Jan 2, 2010)

rabbitislove said:


> the Pokemon one with the Rush sticker on it...



YES! :bow:


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## veil (Jan 2, 2010)

BigChaz said:


> Ahahaha, holy shit, I didn't know man lingerie existed. I thought women's lingerie was man lingerie since it's really a gift for the man. I was wrong!
> 
> http://www.intimatewholesalers.com/menslingerie.html
> 
> ...



a lot of that strikes me as lingerie for men... for men. i like a good outfit & silk/satin underthings (boxers*, panties, tanks/camis) for all genders but that looks like stripper wear or saturday at machine.

*that superman robe is insane. i think if a lover wore that i'd die laughing & then tear it off them.


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## Wanderer (Jan 2, 2010)

I have absolutely no problem walking around with my shirt off... much to the discomfort of a rather uptight neighborhood mother, alas, so I don't do it so much these days. But at pools and such, _I_ don't have a problem with it at all... now if only my sister would just calm down about it.

For me, I don't mind pants and shirts that are a bit too small, or even leave the bottom of my gut exposed. It's just a sign that I'm fatter than they can handle... and that's a good thing, yes?


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## stldpn (Jan 3, 2010)

Wanderer said:


> For me, I don't mind pants and shirts that are a bit too small, or even leave the bottom of my gut exposed. It's just a sign that I'm fatter than they can handle... and that's a good thing, yes?



I look at it like this... I'm fat yes... but I'm not a fat slob... wearing clothes that are too big or too small... I might as well relegate my baths to every other day, wear my tighty whities for a week before I pop them in the washer, dread my hair and grow an 8inch neck beard... cause most women aren't interested in guys who don't take their appearances in public seriously.


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## likeitmatters (Jan 3, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I look at it like this... I'm fat yes... but I'm not a fat slob... wearing clothes that are too big or too small... I might as well relegate my baths to every other day, wear my tighty whities for a week before I pop them in the washer, dread my hair and grow an 8inch neck beard... cause most women aren't interested in guys who don't take their appearances in public seriously.




it also depends on where you live. I wonder how our former president Abe lincoln did so well with a long beard and conservative dressed? It really depends on the mentality of a woman and if she is so shallow as to judge a man solely on the way he dresses then she is not right for him in the first place.

And speaking from my point of view, I find preppie men to be a major turnoff and would not date them at all but I would be friends with them. I wonder if lets say Donald Trump for whatever reason decided to dress like a slob and grow his beard very long(that is a stretch) do you think it would be any less
at his craft of building towers? And I like to think women would still find him attractive.

:bow:


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## stldpn (Jan 3, 2010)

likeitmatters said:


> it also depends on where you live. I wonder how our former president Abe lincoln did so well with a long beard and conservative dressed? It really depends on the mentality of a woman and if she is so shallow as to judge a man solely on the way he dresses then she is not right for him in the first place.
> 
> And speaking from my point of view, I find preppie men to be a major turnoff and would not date them at all but I would be friends with them. I wonder if lets say Donald Trump for whatever reason decided to dress like a slob and grow his beard very long(that is a stretch) do you think it would be any less
> at his craft of building towers? And I like to think women would still find him attractive.
> ...



ok first I want you to show me a woman that will admit that she finds donald trump attractive? Second, the simple act of being mindful of your clothing and hygeine is not preppy if you're on the hunt for a mate. I hate the fact that some people assume that fat people are dirty or unkempt. If you're out there helping them perpetuate it by smelling like dirty socks and looking like cousin it I have no sympathy for you when you're shunned by a woman or society in general.


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## likeitmatters (Jan 3, 2010)

stldpn said:


> ok first I want you to show me a woman that will admit that she finds donald trump attractive? Second, the simple act of being mindful of your clothing and hygeine is not preppy if you're on the hunt for a mate. I hate the fact that some people assume that fat people are dirty or unkempt. If you're out there helping them perpetuate it by smelling like dirty socks and looking like cousin it I have no sympathy for you when you're shunned by a woman or society in general.



Ivana found him attractive and the georgia peach marla maples and his current wife and I have to honest I find him attractive but not in the way you may think?

And I am not talking about smelling like a sock I am saying if you judge someone on how they dress then that person is shallow. if you dress neatly and wear second hand clothes and you are respectful that should mean something.

I am not nor never have been metasexual(bad spelling) and most women want a real man who does not primp in a mirror for hours(good case in point the reality show jersey shore) I find those men to be into themselves and all they care about is scoring from what I see.


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## veil (Jan 3, 2010)

Wanderer said:


> For me, I don't mind pants and shirts that are a bit too small, or even leave the bottom of my gut exposed. It's just a sign that I'm fatter than they can handle... and that's a good thing, yes?





stldpn said:


> I look at it like this... I'm fat yes... but I'm not a fat slob... wearing clothes that are too big or too small... I might as well relegate my baths to every other day, wear my tighty whities for a week before I pop them in the washer, dread my hair and grow an 8inch neck beard... cause most women aren't interested in guys who don't take their appearances in public seriously.





likeitmatters said:


> it also depends on where you live. I wonder how our former president Abe lincoln did so well with a long beard and conservative dressed? It really depends on the mentality of a woman and if she is so shallow as to judge a man solely on the way he dresses then she is not right for him in the first place.
> 
> And speaking from my point of view, I find preppie men to be a major turnoff and would not date them at all but I would be friends with them. I wonder if lets say Donald Trump for whatever reason decided to dress like a slob and grow his beard very long(that is a stretch) do you think it would be any less
> at his craft of building towers? And I like to think women would still find him attractive.
> ...



i don't think stldpn means that he think guys should primp and be fussy, but just that wearing clothes that fit and flatter your body--and i don't mean just "make you look thinner" like all of those reality shows--indicate a degree of self care.

i'm not opposed to a peek of belly when the eye candy in question is reaching up, or over, or moving in some way that adjusts the shirt, but i do find that many people (I wouldn't say all) who don't look for clothes that fit their body don't care much for their appearance or for themselves. and i am definitely not into preppy guys; give me your geeks, your goths, your scruffy hipsters yearning to shop thrift--you know? 

i can, of course, think of all sorts of exceptions to this (which is why i wouldn't say all) but in general self care shows at least a bit of self love and self awareness.


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## BigChaz (Jan 3, 2010)

veil said:


> i don't think stldpn means that he think guys should primp and be fussy, but just that wearing clothes that fit and flatter your body--and i don't mean just "make you look thinner" like all of those reality shows--indicate a degree of self care.
> 
> i'm not opposed to a peek of belly when the eye candy in question is reaching up, or over, or moving in some way that adjusts the shirt, but i do find that many people (I wouldn't say all) who don't look for clothes that fit their body don't care much for their appearance or for themselves. and i am definitely not into preppy guys; give me your geeks, your goths, your scruffy hipsters yearning to shop thrift--you know?
> 
> i can, of course, think of all sorts of exceptions to this (which is why i wouldn't say all) but in general self care shows at least a bit of self love and self awareness.



This is about as spot-on as I could hope for anything I could type out in this thread.


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## stldpn (Jan 3, 2010)

veil said:


> i don't think stldpn means that he think guys should primp and be fussy, but just that wearing clothes that fit and flatter your body--and i don't mean just "make you look thinner" like all of those reality shows--indicate a degree of self care.
> 
> i'm not opposed to a peek of belly when the eye candy in question is reaching up, or over, or moving in some way that adjusts the shirt, but i do find that many people (I wouldn't say all) who don't look for clothes that fit their body don't care much for their appearance or for themselves. and i am definitely not into preppy guys; give me your geeks, your goths, your scruffy hipsters yearning to shop thrift--you know?
> 
> i can, of course, think of all sorts of exceptions to this (which is why i wouldn't say all) but in general self care shows at least a bit of self love and self awareness.


I'm not advocating professional manicures, 200 dollar hair cuts or eyebrow waxing... just a little casual pride in appearance...


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## djudex (Jan 3, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I'm not advocating professional manicures, 200 dollar hair cuts or eyebrow waxing...



Well fine! I know when I'm not wanted!:goodbye:


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## stldpn (Jan 3, 2010)

djudex said:


> Well fine! I know when I'm not wanted!:goodbye:



I've got a coupon for a brazilian wax if you like?


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## djudex (Jan 3, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I've got a coupon for a brazilian wax if you like?



Well you know what they say, if it's not 100% off then it's not a Brazilian.


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## DitzyBrunette (Jan 4, 2010)

stldpn said:


> sexy men's lingerie? wtf is that? seriously?



Black silk boxers. :wubu:


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## stldpn (Jan 4, 2010)

DitzyBrunette said:


> Black silk boxers. :wubu:



black silk boxers aren't an issue... I prefer cotton but no one would consider me perverse if they found some silk in my sock drawer... vinyl though? I'd have some splaining to do.


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## RJI (Jan 4, 2010)

Black silk boxers are not a stretch and i might even have a pair but the leather studded thong isn't apart of my collection, not saying it couldn't be upon request but its not my style per say.


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## JenFromOC (Jan 4, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I look at it like this... I'm fat yes... but I'm not a fat slob... wearing clothes that are too big or too small... I might as well relegate my baths to every other day, wear my tighty whities for a week before I pop them in the washer, dread my hair and grow an 8inch neck beard... cause most women aren't interested in guys who don't take their appearances in public seriously.



I can't rep you again...so here's some public rep  The truth is, everyone judges on appearance, and not always in a bad way. For example, someone might walk into my living room right now and see me chillin' in a Snuggie LOL. One might think I'm being lazy today, or I'm not feeling well, or I'm a total bum that should be cleaning the house...that's judging me, isn't it?


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## RJI (Jan 4, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I look at it like this... I'm fat yes... but I'm not a fat slob... wearing clothes that are too big or too small... I might as well relegate my baths to every other day, wear my tighty whities for a week before I pop them in the washer, dread my hair and grow an 8inch neck beard... cause most women aren't interested in guys who don't take their appearances in public seriously.



I agree!
I am complimented on my style frequently and the fact i keep clean and smell good sets me apart from not just other big guys but most men in general. I always dress nice and smell good... Chicks Dig It


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## Melian (Jan 4, 2010)

stldpn said:


> black silk boxers aren't an issue... I prefer cotton but no one would consider me perverse if they found some silk in my sock drawer... vinyl though? I'd have some splaining to do.



LOL....right!

Just because *I* own a pair of pvc short-shorts, doesn' t mean I want to see fat guys prancing around in them.


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## fat hiker (Jan 4, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I'm not advocating professional manicures, 200 dollar hair cuts or eyebrow waxing... just a little casual pride in appearance...



Hear, hear!

After all, a white shirt, a colourful tie and a sharp suit is so NOT preppie - 
but all business. Bring on the power lunches!


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## Wanderer (Jan 5, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I look at it like this... I'm fat yes... but I'm not a fat slob... wearing clothes that are too big or too small... I might as well relegate my baths to every other day, wear my tighty whities for a week before I pop them in the washer, dread my hair and grow an 8inch neck beard... cause most women aren't interested in guys who don't take their appearances in public seriously.



Well, I'm not talking about walking aorund in a torn wifebeater, dirty boxers and a layer of dirt, no.  I'm just talking about wearing clothes that are a little tight, to show off my size better -- just like the musclemen do. Strictly casual wear.

Mind you, I'd be more worried about getting into a relationship if I weren't stuck in a 90% married-with-kids subdivision...


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## stldpn (Jan 5, 2010)

Wanderer said:


> Well, I'm not talking about walking aorund in a torn wifebeater, dirty boxers and a layer of dirt, no.  I'm just talking about wearing clothes that are a little tight, to show off my size better -- just like the musclemen do. Strictly casual wear.
> 
> Mind you, I'd be more worried about getting into a relationship if I weren't stuck in a 90% married-with-kids subdivision...



See tight is one thing short is another... Well I'm not in the market either at the moment... but it doesn't mean I don't want to look good no matter what... wearing things that fit is what makes me more comfortable and personally I believe I look better that way...


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## Wanderer (Jan 5, 2010)

stldpn said:


> See tight is one thing short is another... Well I'm not in the market either at the moment... but it doesn't mean I don't want to look good no matter what... wearing things that fit is what makes me more comfortable and personally I believe I look better that way...



Ah, but past a certain point of tightness, the shirt just hangs over the front of the belly, emphasizing how big it is by failing to cover every single inch of it. Not quite "belly shirts", no, just that ever-so-fat look of a shirt that doesn't quite cover all that table muscle. :eat1: 

Hey, if they can show off their washboards, I'm allowed to emphasize my wash*tub*.


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## stldpn (Jan 5, 2010)

Wanderer said:


> Ah, but past a certain point of tightness,*tub*.



... it is advisable to buy a new shirt? I'm at a disadvantage perhaps... I've never understood the fashion forwardness of wearing things that are too small... 

for instance I have two suits in my closet at the moment that are too small... I don't like getting rid of them but I certainly don't wear them... when I realized I was too big for them I put them away... wearing them would only open me up to the possibility of embarassment... because while I love farley, that fat guy in a little coat dance can get expensive as hell... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGWbt3DSje0

people who want to display their washboard/washtub just need to go shirtless during apprapo events imho... because there's a time and a place for everything... and whether it's a abs of steel or abs of steel reserve I don't want to see it in the grocery store while I'm trying to pick out some produce...


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## Wanderer (Jan 6, 2010)

I think you needed a tighter edit, there. 

But that's why I said "emphasize", and not "display". The point to aim for is where the shirt can't be tucked in, but isn't so tight as to restrict movement or circulation. (Thus avoiding ripped seams... mostly.) The point where people can see the barest edge of your belly, but only if they look down there, from the side.

Like I said: Not a belly shirt. Just tight enough to emphasize, with the accent on "size".


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## fat hiker (Jan 6, 2010)

Wanderer said:


> Ah, but past a certain point of tightness, the shirt just hangs over the front of the belly, emphasizing how big it is by failing to cover every single inch of it. Not quite "belly shirts", no, just that ever-so-fat look of a shirt that doesn't quite cover all that table muscle. :eat1:
> 
> Hey, if they can show off their washboards, I'm allowed to emphasize my wash*tub*.



You mean like the publicity shots of Corey Harrison of the show "Pawn Stars"? His polo isn't tucked in, and is just tight enough to emphasize his gut nicely - the hem of his polo falls quite a ways in front of his belt.

http://storage.canoe.ca/v1/dynamic_...t/tv/2010/01/04/pawnstars640.jpg&size=248x186

I think that photo shows what I mean. Curiously, the descriptions of the show refer to him "throwing his weight around" and his "brawn". Lots of 'table muscle' too!


----------



## fat hiker (Jan 6, 2010)

Wanderer said:


> Hey, if they can show off their washboards, I'm allowed to emphasize my wash*tub*.



Washtub! I like it!


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## fat hiker (Jan 6, 2010)

fat hiker said:


> You mean like the publicity shots of Corey Harrison of the show "Pawn Stars"? His polo isn't tucked in, and is just tight enough to emphasize his gut nicely - the hem of his polo falls quite a ways in front of his belt.
> 
> http://storage.canoe.ca/v1/dynamic_...t/tv/2010/01/04/pawnstars640.jpg&size=248x186
> 
> I think that photo shows what I mean. Curiously, the descriptions of the show refer to him "throwing his weight around" and his "brawn". Lots of 'table muscle' too!



And Corey's friend Chumlee is not exactly skinny either...


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## stldpn (Jan 6, 2010)

Wanderer said:


> I think you needed a tighter edit, there.
> 
> But that's why I said "emphasize", and not "display". The point to aim for is where the shirt can't be tucked in, but isn't so tight as to restrict movement or circulation. (Thus avoiding ripped seams... mostly.) The point where people can see the barest edge of your belly, but only if they look down there, from the side.
> 
> Like I said: Not a belly shirt. Just tight enough to emphasize, with the accent on "size".



yeah, just stay away from the squash ok?


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## FishCharming (Feb 1, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I've got a coupon for a brazilian wax if you like?



well, if you're not using it....


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## FishCharming (Feb 1, 2010)

Melian said:


> LOL....right!
> 
> Just because *I* own a pair of pvc short-shorts, doesn' t mean I want to see fat guys prancing around in them.



i'm just not sure i can believe you with some sort of proof... i believe the community as a whole deserves pictorial evidence of the shorts in question


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## Wanderer (Feb 1, 2010)

fat hiker said:


> Washtub! I like it!



(bow) Thank you! I do try!


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## Wanderer (Feb 1, 2010)

stldpn said:


> yeah, just stay away from the squash ok?



I don't play squash anyway.


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## stldpn (Feb 3, 2010)

Wanderer said:


> I don't play squash anyway.



eh no... the produce dept squash


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## Wanderer (Feb 7, 2010)

stldpn said:


> eh no... the produce dept squash



You mean I shouldn't eat my vegetables? But why? 

(I can keep this up as long as you like...)


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## lovelocs (Feb 7, 2010)

...that "squash" was yet another euphemism for a guy's junk. Thus warning all BHM's to stay away from skinny jeans. I'm still not quite sure what he means.


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## Wanderer (Feb 10, 2010)

lovelocs said:


> ...that "squash" was yet another euphemism for a guy's junk. Thus warning all BHM's to stay away from skinny jeans. I'm still not quite sure what he means.



Aw, I know what he meant; he's warning against wearing jeans that are tight enough to resemble a "banana hammock" through the crotch. I just liked teasing him.


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## HDANGEL15 (Feb 11, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I've got a coupon for a brazilian wax if you like?



*DAYUM ME ME ME ME....i plan on self-administer today...would so prefer a professional...but just don't have that kinda $$$ these days

as for public displays of fat...

SHOW ME a big guy in TIGHT clothing any day :smitten::smitten::smitten:

SHOW ME a too short shirt with a gorgeous sexy belly hanging out, stretch marks always welcome ...she says droooling.......:eat2:*


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## Fangs (Feb 12, 2010)

It's a huge turn off to have half the belly in the pants instead of over them. 

I also don't like bellies hanging out below t-shirts. Get longer shirts and/or wear an undershirt and tuck that one in.

If it's a nice button down shirt, I love seeing it tucked in with the belly pressing out against the buttons *swoon*



As for the battle about "appearance", I'm not too picky. I've dated guys that take longer to get ready than I do. I've dated guys that pick up a shirt from their bedroom floor, put it on, and are out the door. 

My limits with both extremes are that I greatly dislike body hair removal on guys. I'm the ONLY one who should fuss about a stray hair. I dated someone who liked to shave their legs and arms. It wasn't awful, but I'm thankful he didn't stick with it too much while we were going out. 

I don't like incredibly out of date clothes either. Ghetto styles should be left in the ghetto. If you walk and your pants fall off, either eat some more or get rid of them. If you have something from the 90s, time to donate it to Goodwill.


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## stldpn (Feb 12, 2010)

Fangs said:


> It's a huge turn off to have half the belly in the pants instead of over them.
> 
> I also don't like bellies hanging out below t-shirts. Get longer shirts and/or wear an undershirt and tuck that one in.
> 
> ...



You mean i have to get rid of all my "mighty mighty bosstones" gear?


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## chicken legs (Feb 13, 2010)

LOL...everytime I think about posting on this thread I get to "side tracked".

anywho....those big linebackers/lineman with bellies so big it peaks out from under the shirt ..mixed with those tight ass pants....yuummmmmmm:eat2:


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## stldpn (Feb 13, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> LOL...everytime I think about posting on this thread I get to "side tracked".
> 
> anywho....those big linebackers/lineman with bellies so big it peaks out from under the shirt ..mixed with those tight ass pants....yuummmmmmm:eat2:



football dress code is different... don't ask why it just is


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## Joe944 (Mar 5, 2010)

I'm not a fan of clothing that's too loose, but too tight isn't good either. Sometimes Xl's fit me fine, sometimes 2XL's fit perfectly. I have a long torso so I can't stand short shirts that let my belly hang out, but then again I can be somewhat self conscious about my weight in public. I blame growing up a fat kid at an all guys catholic high school and having friends who were fairly close minded and very judging.

So I prefer somewhat tighter clothes, belly over the belt, and you can't let the pants sag because then you don't get to show off your ass in a nice pair of jeans.


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## Zowie (Mar 5, 2010)

NEVER pull your pants over the belly. NEVER.
As much as I like spotting it in flashes, I don't think it's really attractive if the shirt doesn't cover the overhang. Tuck it in, that's fine, and looks just as good.
But shirtless is even better >w<

I'll have to say, I'm a bit of a stickler for guys dressing well. Sweatpants that are worn outside of pyjamas/physical activity are a deal breaker to me. -.- I'm difficult.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 5, 2010)

To sum it up.......

Clean shirt, new shoes......I don't know what I am going to do...

Silk suit, black tie....I don't need to know the reason why....

They come running just as fast as they can.....cuz every girl's crazy about a sharp dressed man

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lmEDB9qnCQ


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## Wanderer (Mar 7, 2010)

bionic_eggplant said:


> NEVER pull your pants over the belly. NEVER.
> As much as I like spotting it in flashes, I don't think it's really attractive if the shirt doesn't cover the overhang. Tuck it in, that's fine, and looks just as good.
> But shirtless is even better >w<
> 
> I'll have to say, I'm a bit of a stickler for guys dressing well. Sweatpants that are worn outside of pyjamas/physical activity are a deal breaker to me. -.- I'm difficult.



You'd like me, then -- I don't own any sweatpants.


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## Zowie (Mar 7, 2010)

Wanderer said:


> You'd like me, then -- I don't own any sweatpants.



No no, don't get me wrong, they're fine in private around the house, but anywhere else... UGH. My boss wears them to work (yes, okay, we're just a little convenience store, but still) and I keep wanting to tell him he looks SO much better when he bothers to wear jeans or something else.

Dunno, for me they're PJs. Putting something else on means, "I care how I look today"


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## escapist (Mar 7, 2010)

bionic_eggplant said:


> No no, don't get me wrong, they're fine in private around the house, but anywhere else... UGH. My boss wears them to work (yes, okay, we're just a little convenience store, but still) and I keep wanting to tell him he looks SO much better when he bothers to wear jeans or something else.
> 
> Dunno, for me they're PJs. Putting something else on means, "I care how I look today"



maybe this should go in the confession thread, but when I was BIG time into martial arts (doing it 4-6 hours a day). I started wearing sweats, T-shirt, a cool Asian themed necklace, and Mat shoes 80% of the time.

















Well then again, I didn't wear that at work. For that it was black BDU pants, Boots, and my Bouncer Staff shirt for working at the Night Club. Intimidation really is 90% of being a bouncer.


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## stldpn (Mar 7, 2010)

escapist said:


> maybe this should go in the confession thread, but when I was BIG time into martial arts (doing it 4-6 hours a day). I started wearing sweats, T-shirt, a cool Asian themed necklace, and Mat shoes 80% of the time.
> Well then again, I didn't wear that at work. For that it was black BDU pants, Boots, and my Bouncer Staff shirt for working at the Night Club. Intimidation really is 90% of being a bouncer.



Gym wear is acceptable... in the gym on the way home from the gym. 
It's comfortable and what not, but some guys fail to understand it's not the best outfit to pick up a date in.


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## escapist (Mar 7, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Gym wear is acceptable... in the gym on the way home from the gym.
> It's comfortable and what not, but some guys fail to understand it's not the best outfit to pick up a date in.



Ooooo hell no! Always Jeans and a nice shirt minimum.


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## stldpn (Mar 7, 2010)

escapist said:


> Ooooo hell no! Always Jeans and a nice shirt minimum.



I should add an addendum to that... unless the date involves a gym activity it's not a good thing to pick up a date in.


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## Wanderer (Mar 8, 2010)

bionic_eggplant said:


> No no, don't get me wrong, they're fine in private around the house, but anywhere else... UGH. My boss wears them to work (yes, okay, we're just a little convenience store, but still) and I keep wanting to tell him he looks SO much better when he bothers to wear jeans or something else.
> 
> Dunno, for me they're PJs. Putting something else on means, "I care how I look today"



Oh, I understood. I was just being slightly silly and hoping to drop an ounce of flirt in there somewhere. Being stuck in a subdivision where you're surrounded by married women makes for a lonely weekend.


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## Zowie (Mar 9, 2010)

Ah, it's always difficult being suggestive via text, but I'll be more careful next time.
I'm sure you look fantastic, sweatpants or not.


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## Wanderer (Mar 11, 2010)

bionic_eggplant said:


> Ah, it's always difficult being suggestive via text, but I'll be more careful next time.
> I'm sure you look fantastic, sweatpants or not.



Flatterer. ;-) Thanks.


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## shortfat (May 25, 2010)

I know this thread has kind of died, but I still wanted to add my comments. I am a pretty modest man, but as I have gotten older I am less concerned what others might think of my appreance. At the same time, with these sites I have discovered that other people actually like the look of a fat guy. I am still pretty modest, but i now feel free to not try to hide my gut and where my pants below my gut. I don't go shirtless much and but will do so when appropriate. I am gaining some weight, so disguising my belly is not real easy and I kind of like showing it off..under a shirt.

I'd like to know what other fat guys think about the fact that not only do some women like the look of a fat guy, but other guys might like the way you look as well.


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## rellis10 (May 25, 2010)

I'd consider myself very modest. I can't remember ever being topless in public, i'v always had a hangup about that.

I'm even quite self concious when i'm wearing shirts. Recently i took to wearing vests underneath because i was paranoid that would would see my belly through the buttons.

I could never see myself acting so flippantly about my body as to expose it to any old friend...just not who i am.

That said, i have posted topless picture on DIMS, mainly because i wanted to see if it would boost my confidence, and that it was a new relationship with these people so it's easier to do it and make a different start.


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## Buffetbelly (May 25, 2010)

My gf and I were just reading this thread together and sharing more than few belly laughs. She says she likes boxers, especially the ones with the easy access panels!


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## JenFromOC (May 25, 2010)

I have to say, as I've gotten older, the frequency of me giving a shit about other people has steadily decreased. At almost 33, I could just care less if some random person thinks I'm too fat, too ugly, too old, or my ass is too big. LOL


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## balletguy (May 25, 2010)

JenFromOC said:


> I have to say, as I've gotten older, the frequency of me giving a shit about other people has steadily decreased. At almost 33, I could just care less if some random person thinks I'm too fat, too ugly, too old, or my ass is too big. LOL



I have sceen a few pics of you and you are adorable


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## JenFromOC (May 25, 2010)

balletguy said:


> I have sceen a few pics of you and you are adorable



Thanks...LOL...those were really just some examples.


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## balletguy (May 25, 2010)

JenFromOC said:


> Thanks...LOL...those were really just some examples.



well regardless u are adorable.... if you dont mind me saying pretty hot too


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## isamarie69 (May 27, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I look at it like this... I'm fat yes... but I'm not a fat slob... wearing clothes that are too big or too small... I might as well relegate my baths to every other day, wear my tighty whities for a week before I pop them in the washer, dread my hair and grow an 8inch neck beard... cause most women aren't interested in guys who don't take their appearances in public seriously.



Wow this was rude!

In a community where peoples weight is often changing be it gainers or people working on loosing weight they can not afford to buy new clothes every week or even every month, Theres going to be times when they do not fit perfect. And no where in his post did i read he was a fat slob? 

Funny cause im pretty sure most guys on here like it when the girls clothes are to tight.


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## Joe944 (May 27, 2010)

I've never really been able to shake my fears of showing off my body in public. I suppose I've hung out with crowds that were very athletic-minded and always complained about even being a couple pounds overweight so my perception is somewhat swayed.

I'm quite confident in myself and my abilities, but when it comes to people seeing exactly how fat I am I get very self conscious.


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## Guinness (May 27, 2010)

isamarie69 said:


> Wow this was rude!
> 
> In a community where peoples weight is often changing be it gainers or people working on loosing weight they can not afford to buy new clothes every week or even every month, Theres going to be times when they do not fit perfect. And no where in his post did i read he was a fat slob?
> 
> Funny cause im pretty sure most guys on here like it when the girls clothes are to tight.



It wasn't rude. And if you can afford to be a gainer you can also afford to buy a shirt that fits. This whole post is just made of fail.


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## isamarie69 (May 27, 2010)

Guinness said:


> It wasn't rude. And if you can afford to be a gainer you can also afford to buy a shirt that fits. This whole post is just made of fail.




It certainly was rude, First Fatterisbetter says "I am also not overly concerned that my gut occasionally "outhangs" the bottom of my t-shirt."

Then Wanderer says "I have absolutely no problem walking around with my shirt off... much to the discomfort of a rather uptight neighborhood mother, alas, so I don't do it so much these days. But at pools and such, I don't have a problem with it at all... now if only my sister would just calm down about it.

For me, I don't mind pants and shirts that are a bit too small, or even leave the bottom of my gut exposed. It's just a sign that I'm fatter than they can handle... and that's a good thing, yes?

And he seems perfectly happy with himself. 

I have known lots of bigger men that have this problem, and most are unhappy with it. The Big man shops are very expensive unless you shop at King size direct, But there their clothing is very cheaply made and wouldn't hold up very well. And what if the guy is 5"5 and wears a 5xl, How ridiculous is he going to look in a 5XLT unless his belly hang is down to his knees.

I personally am not in to the whole gainer/feeder thing. But it is their choice. You failed to mention the people trying to loose weight. 

I came to this site because i was under the impression it was a site about acceptance of size and peoples choices. But i do not see it in this thread, I see judging and people being made to feel uncomfortable with them selves. The thread started as a question, But when people answered they we're picked on and it was hinted they were "fat slobs" But no thats not rude at all!


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## isamarie69 (May 27, 2010)

Joe944 said:


> I've never really been able to shake my fears of showing off my body in public. I suppose I've hung out with crowds that were very athletic-minded and always complained about even being a couple pounds overweight so my perception is somewhat swayed.
> 
> I'm quite confident in myself and my abilities, but when it comes to people seeing exactly how fat I am I get very self conscious.





Your very handsome, I have seen all the girls drooling over your posts. You have nothing to worry about


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## Guinness (May 27, 2010)

isamarie69 said:


> blah blah blah



Hey haven't I seen you on People of Walmart?


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## talpa (May 27, 2010)

JenFromOC said:


> I have to say, as I've gotten older, the frequency of me giving a shit about other people has steadily decreased. At almost 33, I could just care less if some random person thinks I'm too fat, too ugly, too old, or my ass is too big. LOL


Damn right. I'm not a huge fan of Henry Rollins (he's said some really shitty things) but I do remember one excellent quote - "Everybody is somebody else's freak." You can't please all the people all the time, so f*ck 'em.


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## stldpn (May 27, 2010)

isamarie69 said:


> Wow this was rude!
> 
> In a community where peoples weight is often changing be it gainers or people working on loosing weight they can not afford to buy new clothes every week or even every month, Theres going to be times when they do not fit perfect. And no where in his post did i read he was a fat slob?
> 
> Funny cause im pretty sure most guys on here like it when the girls clothes are to tight.



Rude? you're actually going to lecture people on social etiquette? You do realize not everything here is all about gaining? In a world where fat people are judged vociferously and consistently it's important not to pretend as though looking like a slob is acceptable. Wearing a shirt that is way too small makes you look like a slob, I don't care who stands up in defense of it. If you're that fat guy who spends his life in sweatpants that you refuse to pull up over your belly and a shirt that doesn't cover you're belly.... you look like a fucking slob. I'm certainly not the only man that thinks so... biggy d did a youtube on it that I love.
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=biggydman#p/u/209/0NkiRb-UTE0


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## stldpn (May 27, 2010)

isamarie69 said:


> It certainly was rude, First Fatterisbetter says "I am also not overly concerned that my gut occasionally "outhangs" the bottom of my t-shirt."



Look, there are places where skin is acceptable but the general rule of thumb for all fat people should be... if you don't see the rest of the thin people showing skin... you shouldn't assume that showing your fat is acceptable. If you can't go into that store, restaurant or mall without a shirt, cover the fuck up. Letting your apron swing is going to make everyone in the joint assume you don't give a shit about the way you look.


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## veil (May 27, 2010)

isamarie69 said:


> It certainly was rude, First Fatterisbetter says "I am also not overly concerned that my gut occasionally "outhangs" the bottom of my t-shirt."
> 
> Then Wanderer says "I have absolutely no problem walking around with my shirt off... much to the discomfort of a rather uptight neighborhood mother, alas, so I don't do it so much these days. But at pools and such, I don't have a problem with it at all... now if only my sister would just calm down about it.
> 
> ...





stldpn said:


> Rude? you're actually going to lecture people on social etiquette? You do realize not everything here is all about gaining? In a world where fat people are judged vociferously and consistently it's important not to pretend as though looking like a slob is acceptable. Wearing a shirt that is way too small makes you look like a slob, I don't care who stands up in defense of it. If you're that fat guy who spends his life in sweatpants that you refuse to pull up over your belly and a shirt that doesn't cover you're belly.... you look like a fucking slob. I'm certainly not the only man that thinks so... biggy d did a youtube on it that I love.
> http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=biggydman#p/u/209/0NkiRb-UTE0





stldpn said:


> Look, there are places where skin is acceptable but the general rule of thumb for all fat people should be... if you don't see the rest of the thin people showing skin... you shouldn't assume that showing your fat is acceptable. If you can't go into that store, restaurant or mall without a shirt, cover the fuck up. Letting your apron swing is going to make everyone in the joint assume you don't give a shit about the way you look.



people who choose to wear clothing that doesn't fit can be happy with themselves if they want to, but, people who think that wearing things that don't fit is slobby are then free to judge them.



> Funny cause im pretty sure most guys on here like it when the girls clothes are to tight.



um, ok, good point.... maybe? 

i wear hot clothes that show my body off, but they aren't too small, just fitted and well cut. if i were wearing clothes that were too small, people around me would probably assume i was trying to dress overly provocatively. even my boyfriend wouldn't enjoy the display, because it would not be appropriate for the outside world.

when i wear too tight, or revealing, clothing i do it for my partner. and when he shows off his belly and rolls, he does it for me. if either or us were to wear our sexy outfits outside the bedroom it would not be appropriate and both of us would have assumptions made about us.

stldpn is absolutely correct too in that fat people get judged much more harshly than average/skinny people. if there are people on this board who enjoy showing themselves off & being judged in such a fashion, go for it*. but don't lie to oneself or the rest of the board on how one is perceived.

what this boils down to is not a judgment on you or anyone else; what it is is a comment on how people are viewed by the society around them. if people want to look put together, well dressed & sophisticated they tend to dress in certain ways. dressing in ways opposite to this leads to opposite conclusions.

*i really do genuinely mean that, i recognize not everyone has the viewpoints i do and some folks enjoy the non-FFA gaze.


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## isamarie69 (May 28, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Rude? you're actually going to lecture people on social etiquette? You do realize not everything here is all about gaining? In a world where fat people are judged vociferously and consistently it's important not to pretend as though looking like a slob is acceptable. Wearing a shirt that is way too small makes you look like a slob, I don't care who stands up in defense of it. If you're that fat guy who spends his life in sweatpants that you refuse to pull up over your belly and a shirt that doesn't cover you're belly.... you look like a fucking slob. I'm certainly not the only man that thinks so... biggy d did a youtube on it that I love.
> http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=biggydman#p/u/209/0NkiRb-UTE0



Here it comes more judging because people do not agree with everything you say. I made 1 off color comment in a thread ( and i did give proof in another thread that backs up my opinion) But now you know exactly how i am? I have read many posts where you come off arrogant and judgmental to the point i can not even continue to read the thread, You seem to have an experience for everything, If a girl posts a thread about the woes of her period you can totally relate. I just want to tell you your not Tyra and its not all about you ok?

Your totally taking their words and even mine and blowing them way out of proportion to make it so you look correct. He didn't say he wears his clothes "way too small" He didn't say her prefers to dress like Baby Huey. And what i had said was their are people here that are into gaining and people here that are trying to loose weight.


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## isamarie69 (May 28, 2010)

veil said:


> people who choose to wear clothing that doesn't fit can be happy with themselves if they want to, but, people who think that wearing things that don't fit is slobby are then free to judge them.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



All i can say is if hes entitiled to his opinion that a guy is a slob based a comment, Then I am entitled to think its rude. 

I personally do not let my fat show I am very uncomfortable with it, But thats why i felt this site was a good place because. Here you can see the beauty in people of all sizes and I can look at other woman and relate my body features to theirs and realize I'm not so bad and i should'nt be affraid to be my self. To feel pretty or sexy or think that mans not looking at me beause im fat hes actually interested. And i feel bigger men should be able to get that same feeling and not be made uncomfortable by someone thats suposed to be their peer.


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## stldpn (May 28, 2010)

fatterisbetter said:


> I am also not overly concerned that my gut occasionally "outhangs" the bottom of my t-shirt.





Wanderer said:


> For me, I don't mind pants and shirts that are a bit too small, or *even leave the bottom of my gut exposed.* It's just a sign that I'm fatter than they can handle... and that's a good thing, yes?



This is what the guys said... they both said they think showing their apron in public is a-ok. And obviously, I think that guys who walk around with an apron of fat hanging out from under a too short shirt look like slobs. 

Then... months ago long before your arrival this subject was generally agreed upon when a few ladies totally backed my assertion that most people do associate ill fitting clothing with a careless appearance and women in particular don't find it attractive when a man doesn't care about his appearance



veil said:


> i'm not opposed to a peek of belly when the eye candy in question is reaching up, or over, or moving in some way that adjusts the shirt, but i do find that many people (I wouldn't say all) who don't look for clothes that fit their body don't care much for their appearance or for themselves. and i am definitely not into preppy guys; give me your geeks, your goths, your scruffy hipsters yearning to shop thrift--you know?
> 
> i can, of course, think of all sorts of exceptions to this (which is why i wouldn't say all) but in general self care shows at least a bit of self love and self awareness.





JenFromOC said:


> I can't rep you again...so here's some public rep  The truth is, everyone judges on appearance, and not always in a bad way. For example, someone might walk into my living room right now and see me chillin' in a Snuggie LOL. One might think I'm being lazy today, or I'm not feeling well, or I'm a total bum that should be cleaning the house...that's judging me, isn't it?




You say I'm judgmental.. maybe so but I don't feel it's fair to me or these men if people aren't honest about the fact that a little can go a long way if your quest is to score a mate. You look around here... and not even the FFAs are crying out for belly underhang... seriously you can't admit that guys who dress like this 









look as though they don't care about their appearance?



isamarie69 said:


> I made 1 off color comment in a thread ( and i did give proof in another thread that backs up my opinion) But now you know exactly how i am? I have read many posts where you come off arrogant and judgmental to the point i can not even continue to read the thread, You seem to have an experience for everything, If a girl posts a thread about the woes of her period you can totally relate. I just want to tell you your not Tyra and its not all about you ok?
> 
> Your totally taking their words and even mine and blowing them way out of proportion to make it so you look correct. He didn't say he wears his clothes "way too small" He didn't say her prefers to dress like Baby Huey. And what i had said was their are people here that are into gaining and people here that are trying to loose weight.



Re: your previous posting 
You made an offensive and ridiculous generalization that CANNOT be proven and even curvaciousbbwlover (who often seems to think all republicans are evil) called you out on it because it was totally off topic in that thread. You weren't worried about what was considered rude then were you? 

As you may now be able to see. I'm not taking their words out of context. I'm being clear and honest about what I consider ridiculous behavior for a grown man. Bottom line, it's not very nice to preserve someone's feelings by not telling them the truth about the way the world percieves them. We're not talking about tight clothes we're talking about clothes that do not cover the body. I never Attacked anyone, I simply put it out there that society has guidelines. I didn't create the guidelines, but lord knows I feel embarrassed for these guys when I see them walking around alone because their wives and children don't want to be seen with them. If you wouldn't find it appropriate for a thin guy to wear a mid drift baring top to a child's play or graduation don't assume you get a pass to show off your apron when you go to cheer your kid on. When you start thinking bigger picture about your appearance you KNOW that it's not all about you. A lot of the care and pride you take in your appearance has to do with showing other people respect too.

I spoke very specifically about buying things that fit... there is certainly more wiggle room on the side of too big clothing only because it seems to offend fewer people. But the song is still the same. If you want someone else to take you seriously you should show them that you take yourself seriously. I wear overalls because I love them, but I don't wear them everywhere because I recognize situation appropriateness. Being aware of appearance means being aware of such things.


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## stldpn (May 28, 2010)

isamarie69 said:


> All i can say is if hes entitiled to his opinion that a guy is a slob based a comment, Then I am entitled to think its rude.
> 
> I personally do not let my fat show I am very uncomfortable with it, But thats why i felt this site was a good place because. Here you can see the beauty in people of all sizes and I can look at other woman and relate my body features to theirs and realize I'm not so bad and i should'nt be affraid to be my self. To feel pretty or sexy or think that mans not looking at me beause im fat hes actually interested. And i feel bigger men should be able to get that same feeling and not be made uncomfortable by someone thats suposed to be their peer.




again you're missing the bigger picture the idea is not... fat men are gross or man fat is gross. I've gone to bat several times on that subject, and there are several people on the main boards (and even here) who hate my guts as a result of my vehement insistence that Fat guys get the shaft in the midst of the acceptance movement.. BHM's are not just an extension of the BBW/FA movement, fat guys deserve respect for their feelings and needs just as much as anyone else here. 

The idea is that fat people are people. If you have thin slobs you also have fat ones too. The concern is that the people we call slobs in general are the ones who have given up on appearance and feeling good about themselves. We should feel good about ourselves. We should care about ourselves. We should care about our appearance AND feel good about it.


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## Wanderer (May 31, 2010)

stldpn: If you'd read a little further down, you'd've seen I was talking about the lower curve; not the pannus. Perhaps I phrased it badly, but I made the correction just a little further down the thread. Specifically, I was talking about the situation in which the shirt hangs down in front of the pants, such that a flash of belly-curve may ocasionally present itself; just a small display, rather than anything sloppy.


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## isamarie69 (May 31, 2010)

Re: your previous posting 
You made an offensive and ridiculous generalization that CANNOT be proven and even curvaciousbbwlover (who often seems to think all republicans are evil) called you out on it because it was totally off topic in that thread. You weren't worried about what was considered rude then were you? 


I posted this thread in Hyde park, Its just a few articles on a certain political parties views on condom use. 

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=72726

I think it is pretty much proven. And not a generalization. 


As for you twisting words its continuously repeated through out this thread. Yes the man in the top photo looks ridiculous, Pretty sure it was a set up photo. The second guy maybe should have stayed standing up right im sure is outfit was fine under normal viewing.

I have come to the conclusion after reading what you wrote in the Gary Coleman thread that you are just a drama queen and that you are just looking for someone to take notice, So go have fun I'm bored and over it.


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## warwagon86 (Jun 1, 2010)

i would be like you stldpn!!

i like to walk around my house topless and on the beach etc but i wouldnt walk down the street without a shirt on! if im playing sports and its warm il take my shirt off im not bothered if people dont like my jiggling but as long as im comfrotable i dont care


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## stldpn (Jun 1, 2010)

isamarie69 said:


> Re: your previous posting
> You made an offensive and ridiculous generalization that CANNOT be proven and even curvaciousbbwlover (who often seems to think all republicans are evil) called you out on it because it was totally off topic in that thread. You weren't worried about what was considered rude then were you?
> 
> 
> ...




There you go bringing up other threads again because you can't support anything you said here with facts. If you seriously wanted to whine about how mean I was being by making a simple statement about the child star and his tragic life filled with claims of domestic violence and publicity stunting you should have scrunched up your nose and whined in that thread.

Both of those photos are" to my knowledge" real captures. Furthermore I have no reason to assume they're fakes when I see guys walking around like that in wally world almost every time I go in. This nation is plagued less by obesity and more by Ball cap wearing bubba's who go to the store with tobacco juice all over their shirt.

FYI Just because republicans don't favor state subsidization of birth control doesn't mean they don't use it. I'm sure you're just this snotty everywhere but guess what it doesn't fly when you do it in front of me. I will call you out for posting retarded shit.


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## stldpn (Jun 1, 2010)

Wanderer said:


> stldpn: If you'd read a little further down, you'd've seen I was talking about the lower curve; not the pannus. Perhaps I phrased it badly, but I made the correction just a little further down the thread. Specifically, I was talking about the situation in which the shirt hangs down in front of the pants, such that a flash of belly-curve may ocasionally present itself; just a small display, rather than anything sloppy.



Yeah you're right I'm still totally not following how showing any part of your crotch or stomach in public isn't creepy.


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## JenFromOC (Jun 1, 2010)

Holy shit. You know what? Show your belly or whatever in public....BUT IT MAKES YOU LOOK SLOPPY. I love fat guys, but sorry, you need to look presentable. This goes for all people, FAT OR THIN. So see, it isn't just stldpn or whoever making that claim. 

Also, I'm really fucking tired of people shit talking on Republicans. Democrats are a bunch of assholes too. Is this post going to get removed? LOL

Sorry...sometimes I just flip out.


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## isamarie69 (Jun 1, 2010)

JenFromOC said:


> Holy shit. You know what? Show your belly or whatever in public....BUT IT MAKES YOU LOOK SLOPPY. I love fat guys, but sorry, you need to look presentable. This goes for all people, FAT OR THIN. So see, it isn't just stldpn or whoever making that claim.
> 
> Also, I'm really fucking tired of people shit talking on Republicans. Democrats are a bunch of assholes too. Is this post going to get removed? LOL
> 
> Sorry...sometimes I just flip out.



Ok see this is exactly how he twisted things to suit his posts. I am not an advocate for the rights too strut around with your saggy or pot belly in a half shirt. 
He asked a question and when the guy replied he personally attacked him, What the guy actually said was he does not go out of his way to show his belly but if it does happen by accident he doesn't get all freaked out about it. And what i said was i felt it was a rude reply. But he blew so much hot air into the thread and rephrased things to suit him. 

I see what the guy was saying like this, Lets say you are wearing some cute hipster pants and your out, every time you go to sit down you get a little peak of a coin slot. You did not intend on it happening when you chose those jeans, But your out and about and nothing you can do about it. Do you ruin your whole time obsessing about it. Or do you say screw it and enjoy your day?

Me personally i would obsess about it thats just how i am. But i think the guy is right in not.


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## isamarie69 (Jun 1, 2010)

stldpn said:


> There you go bringing up other threads again because you can't support anything you said here with facts. If you seriously wanted to whine about how mean I was being by making a simple statement about the child star and his tragic life filled with claims of domestic violence and publicity stunting you should have scrunched up your nose and whined in that thread.



If i remember correctly you are the one that brought the condom thread here first? 

Secondly, I did not post in the Gary Coleman thread, Because i felt kinda bad like it was going to be viewed i was just picking on you. 

Thirdly, I am not going to take the cutsy girly approach that your suggesting i take in my posts. 



stldpn said:


> Both of those photos are" to my knowledge" real captures. Furthermore I have no reason to assume they're fakes when I see guys walking around like that in wally world almost every time I go in. This nation is plagued less by obesity and more by Ball cap wearing bubba's who go to the store with tobacco juice all over their shirt.



That is just gross and makes me greatful i live in California.



stldpn said:


> FYI Just because republicans don't favor state subsidization of birth control doesn't mean they don't use it.



This was just dumb sorry. 



stldpn said:


> I'm sure you're just this snotty everywhere.



And to be honest with you, I am actually a very nice girl, I tend to let alot of things just blow past me, And i make friends very easy due to my easy going nature. 



stldpn said:


> but guess what it doesn't fly when you do it in front of me. I will call you out for posting retarded shit.



My Father died in 1999, The job is not open to new applicants sorry!


As i said before I'm bored with playing in to your drama. So I am going to take the high road here and allow you to have the last word because that seems to be more important to you then it is to me.


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## BigChaz (Jun 1, 2010)

isamarie69 said:


> If i remember correctly you are the one that brought the condom thread here first?
> 
> Secondly, I did not post in the Gary Coleman thread, Because i felt kinda bad like it was going to be viewed i was just picking on you.
> 
> ...



That is very noble of you to let him have the last word after your essay. I am also impressed by how little his stuff means to you. It does not show at all!

The first person who continues this discussion is a scrub. Next topic!


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## warwagon86 (Jun 1, 2010)

whats a scrub?


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## Joe944 (Jun 1, 2010)

A scrub is a guy that thinks he's fly
And is also known as a buster
Always talkin' about what he wants
And just sits on his broke ass
So (no)

I don't want your number (no)
I don't want to give you mine and (no)
I don't want to meet you nowhere (no)
I don't want none of your time and (no)

[Chorus:]
I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
Hanging out the passenger side
Of his best friend's ride
Trying to holler at me
I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
Hanging out the passenger side
Of his best friend's ride
Trying to holler at me

But a scrub is checkin' me
But his game is kinda weak
And I know that he cannot approach me
Cuz I'm lookin' like class and he's lookin' like trash
Can't get wit' no deadbeat ass
So (no)

I don't want your number (no)
I don't want to give you mine and (no)
I don't want to meet you nowhere (no)
I don't want none of your time (no)

[Chorus]

If you don't have a car and you're walking
Oh yes son I'm talking to you
If you live at home wit' your momma
Oh yes son I'm talking to you (baby)
If you have a shorty but you don't show love
Oh yes son I'm talking to you
Wanna get with me with no money
Oh no I don't want no (oh)

No scrub
No scrub (no no)
No scrub (no no no no no)
No scrub (no no)
No


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## JenFromOC (Jun 1, 2010)

BigChaz said:


> That is very noble of you to let him have the last word after your essay. I am also impressed by how little his stuff means to you. It does not show at all!
> 
> The first person who continues this discussion is a scrub. Next topic!



I am thinking maybe I want to be a scrub....but no.


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## Geodetic_Effect (Jun 2, 2010)

I have never had a problem taking my shirt off. I'm always hot. I've been kicked out of places for it which is BS because you always see skinny people out with their shirts off. I wear just shorts and t-shirt all winter. So in the summer I can't stand having a shirt on and usually walk around in just boxers. I've been full nude in public, I'm definitely not shy. On a side note, I'm jealous of likeitmatters' beard.


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## Wanderer (Jun 2, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Yeah you're right I'm still totally not following how showing any part of your crotch or stomach in public isn't creepy.



Crotch, I can follow. Down there, you're getting into the whole "private parts should remain private" matter. (Then again, the only time I went to a strip club, I critiqued their dancing, so what do I know?)

But showing the belly is "creepy"? I'm down in Texas, where our summer weather is just gearing up for the high temps. I'm no exhibitionist, but I'm not ashamed of this gut, and I refuse to smother in the 90's when I can strip down to an A-shirt and be comfortable. And yes, some of my A-shirts are slightly small on me; I like to feel big and fat, so if it's not uncomfortable, I don't really mind wearing something that shows off my belly a little. Heck, I used to walk out to my nephew's bus with no shirt on, but we have a strict religious mother in the neighborhood who doesn't want her daughter exposed to naked manflesh.

I'm not talking about wearing something that stops just below my moobs, or squeezing out like those guys in the photos. But I like being fat, I want to get fatter, and I refuse to be ashamed of my body.


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## stldpn (Jun 2, 2010)

Wanderer said:


> Crotch, I can follow. Down there, you're getting into the whole "private parts should remain private" matter. (Then again, the only time I went to a strip club, I critiqued their dancing, so what do I know?)
> 
> But showing the belly is "creepy"? I'm down in Texas, where our summer weather is just gearing up for the high temps. I'm no exhibitionist, but I'm not ashamed of this gut, and I refuse to smother in the 90's when I can strip down to an A-shirt and be comfortable. And yes, some of my A-shirts are slightly small on me; I like to feel big and fat, so if it's not uncomfortable, I don't really mind wearing something that shows off my belly a little. Heck, I used to walk out to my nephew's bus with no shirt on, but we have a strict religious mother in the neighborhood who doesn't want her daughter exposed to naked manflesh.
> 
> I'm not talking about wearing something that stops just below my moobs, or squeezing out like those guys in the photos. But I like being fat, I want to get fatter, and I refuse to be ashamed of my body.



Look, I go back to my original phrasing. When you look around and you see other people, thin people, normal sized people, people your age, if you don't see them showing that same patch of skin that you want to expose. You shouldn't do it. It's not a matter of accentuating your fatness because you feel like it. It's a matter of having respect for yourself and others. The way YOU dress reflects your desire to send the right message. 

One of the biggest issues with being fat is the fact that you deal with bias in situations that affect you long term. Stuff that most people don't even think about and some people assume it's blind bias but the reality of it is even I as a fat man understand why they have the concern and the bias. I've sat in on meetings where candidates were not promoted because they were fat. And it wasn't the fatness that the employer had an issue with so much as the fact that it was obvious that this person only ever put in minimal effort with their appearance in general. They would come in day to day in clothes that made them look dumpy. They waited months to get a simple hair cut. Shaving was an every other day or when I feel like it thing.

There is a clustering of poor self grooming traits that occurs way too often in the fat community. Being fat, shouldn't mean that you don't take care of yourself, and the truth is if you really want to succeed you may have to work a little harder on both your skill set and the other elements of your appearance just because you're fat. The sad part is that most people wait until the day of their interview to spruce themselves up, they don't realize that every time you walk out the door you have the opportunity to positively or negatively affect someone's thinking about you. People take notice when they identify your effort to look good. The way you look is a product of your efforts, right or wrong, people will assume that if you put in a half assed effort on your appearance you're likely to put out a half assed effort on everything else. 

Your churchgoing neighbor who has an issue with you barging out of the house half naked to put your niece on the bus? She may know a very nice young lady that she will never introduce you to. Laugh, but that's how I got some of the best dates during school. I had a nice little old landlady who made sure I met 90% of her friends' daughters when people came to visit her.

Fitted clothing actually looks better on a big frame. But if it's so small that you show skin people don't think "he must enjoy being fat" they think "gee he must not value his appearance much at all." 

I say all that because I want to be as truthful as possible about my experiences as a fat guy trying to better my place in the world. Pride in my own appearance, makes me walk taller, gives me a confidence you can't fake, opens doors to situations that allow you to prove yourself, and you don't have to be thin, with an extensive wardrobe, super handsome, mensa smart, and from a privileged background. 

You have the option of doing whatever you want. But, I'm telling you as a matter of fairness. You as a fat man will always be judged more distinctly as a fat guy. You want to wear clothes that show flesh other people are covering. You will be judged for it.


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## stldpn (Jun 2, 2010)

isamarie69 said:


> If i remember correctly you are the one that brought the condom thread here first?
> 
> 
> My Father died in 1999, The job is not open to new applicants sorry!
> ...



Look I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you don't understand board dynamics at all. There are people here on dims who will suck up to you no matter what just because you're a bbw. I'm just letting you know I'm not one of them. You can consider me rude all day. You can actually think that I'm the one misconstruing things if it makes you feel any better. The bottom line is this though, even people here who accused me of awful stuff a year ago end up respecting the fact that I'm not a man of vacillating opinion or conscience. I am what I say I am. I feel the way I do and I don't practice situational ethics.


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## isamarie69 (Jun 2, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Look I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you don't understand board dynamics at all. There are people here on dims who will suck up to you no matter what just because you're a bbw. I'm just letting you know I'm not one of them. You can consider me rude all day. You can actually think that I'm the one misconstruing things if it makes you feel any better. The bottom line is this though, even people here who accused me of awful stuff a year ago end up respecting the fact that I'm not a man of vacillating opinion or conscience. I am what I say I am. I feel the way I do and I don't practice situational ethics.





There feel better now? I hope so. 

FYI They were sticking up for you not me


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## stldpn (Jun 2, 2010)

isamarie69 said:


> There feel better now? I hope so.
> 
> FYI They were sticking up for you not me



wait i thought I was gonna get the last word? I need the last word 

For the record, I suspect they often find me just as obnoxious as you do... the problem is the sloppiness factor is a big issue for a lot of the FFAs that love big men. They like the fat, and they want the guy in it to love himself enough to really take pride in his appearance.


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## Joe944 (Jun 2, 2010)

Stldpn is pretty much spot on here. Of course you can live your life not caring about what the rest of society thinks about you, but when it comes to being successful, unless you're already wealthy, you have to care about your appearance for people to think well of you and want to give you opportunities.

99% of the people you meet will have formed some opinion about you before you even speak to them. You don't have a chance to show them what a good person you are, they judge you based on your outwards appearance. Fat people in general tend to be noticed due to their large frames. Do you want that attention to be negative because they can see rolls and belly hanging out or do you want to command some respect because you look like you have your shit together and are on top of your life.


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## cakeboy (Jun 2, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Yeah you're right I'm still totally not following how showing any part of your crotch or stomach in public isn't creepy.



It's true. People get testy when you show your testes! Sorry grocery store ladies, it was very hot and muggy out today


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## Paquito (Jun 2, 2010)

I like to frame the gut with nice fitting clothes. Shirtless is for the beach.


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## Wanderer (Jun 3, 2010)

And if you pay attention to what *I'm* saying, I'm not exposing anything other people aren't exposing. Are you telling me that nobody, anywhere in your entire native city, ever exposes a single bit of torso in hot weather? Because that's what I'm talking about here: Normal Clothes, Worn Normally.

Yet you're saying that I _shouldn't_ wear normal clothes in a normal-for-my-area-and-age fashion; that because I'm fat, I should hold myself to a standard of never wearing anything less than all-concealing clothes. (And if you're NOT trying to say that, I suggest you re-examine your phrasing, because "showing the belly is creepy" lands squarely in that territory.) And that sounds entirely too much like "You need to be ashamed of yourself", thanks.

(Oh, and no loss on the church lady: The same beliefs prohibit her from discussing her fellow believers with non-church-members anyway, so I wouldn't be introduced to any of her friends if I looked like a young Mickey Hargitay in a three-piece suit.)


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## Melian (Jun 3, 2010)

Wanderer said:


> Because that's what I'm talking about here: Normal Clothes, Worn Normally.
> 
> Yet you're saying that I _shouldn't_ wear normal clothes in a normal-for-my-area-and-age fashion; that because I'm fat, I should hold myself to a standard of never wearing anything less than all-concealing clothes. (And if you're NOT trying to say that, I suggest you re-examine your phrasing, because "showing the belly is creepy" lands squarely in that territory.) And that sounds entirely too much like "You need to be ashamed of yourself", thanks.



Doesn't sound like anyone is saying that. Normal clothes worn normally is not "sloppy." Walking around shirtless when no one else is doing so is creepy.

And it's not the 90's, so guys need to burn those half-shirts.


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## Sasquatch! (Jun 3, 2010)

As long as a person looks clean and well kept, I don't see what the problem is.

Of course, there are different social conventions that are convenient to adhere to. 

For example, I don't really want to see guys walking around topless unless it's at the beach, the pool, a changing room or an event that calls for it--whether they are overweight or not.

In those cases when it's ok for someone to walk around topless, I don't see why fat men should feel like they aren't allowed to.


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## Dromond (Jun 3, 2010)

If men can walk around topless, women should be able to also. Fair is fair, after all.

On the beach, that is.

I don't want to see topless ANYBODY in the grocery store. GAG. Nor do I want to see ANYBODY with their gut hanging out from under a shirt that is too small or too short. That's almost worse. People should respect themselves enough to at least wear properly sized (CLEAN!) clothing when out in public.


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## rellis10 (Jun 3, 2010)

Dromond said:


> If men can walk around topless, women should be able to also. Fair is fair, after all.



This i agree with. I never understood why men showing their nipples is (generally) socially acceptable but for women it (generally) isnt. I mean who wrote that rule?


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## Amandy (Jun 3, 2010)

In an ideal world, the BHM in question has simply grown a bit out of his stylish Hugo Boss polo and showing a bit of belly - fashion forward and feckin hot.


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## FishCharming (Jun 4, 2010)

Melian said:


> Doesn't sound like anyone is saying that. Normal clothes worn normally is not "sloppy." Walking around shirtless when no one else is doing so is creepy.
> 
> And it's not the 90's, so guys need to burn those half-shirts.



whatever!! i'm totally breaking out all of my fishnet half-shirts!!!


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