# Have you ever felt both guilty and turned on? (My dilemma)



## ~KawaiiFFA~ (Dec 8, 2012)

I'm in a bit of a pickle.

My boyfriend has an immune disorder (CVID) and as a result has had arthritis since he was 16 (he's 21.) Lately it's gotten really bad and last week it was at the point where he couldn't walk more than a few steps. His doctor put him on a pill called Prednisone to reduce inflammation but warned that he might gain ten pounds a week (He's around 315 now.) Why he would do this when he repeatedly tells him he needs to lose weight to be in less pain I don't know, but I'm not a doctor.

So my dilemma is that my boyfriend has been on this pill for all of 4 days and I can already tell he's gained weight. He's been eating whole ice cream cakes and pizzas and bowls of pasta in single sittings and I know it's the pill. He's still in a lot of pain and I feel super-bad about being turned on by his quasi-immobility/extreme appetite, mainly because at the end of the day, I'd rather have a thin boyfriend than no boyfriend at all, and he does need to lose weight because of his illness.

He told me not to feel bad about it and has actually been doing more fetish related things, but I worry about the long-term. So, have any of you ever felt guilty about something related to your fetish but simultaneously super turned on? Is he right that I shouldn't feel guilty at all? 

Thanks. Just kind of had to get this off my chest and figured I'd post it here to hear others' experiences.

(And if you know anything about arthritis or this pill, feel free to let me know.)


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## cakeboy (Dec 8, 2012)

Prednisone will spike blood sugar, cause insomnia and minor mood disturbances. It also makes people very, very hungry. I wouldn't worry about feeling guilty for being turned on - most guys I know are pretty okay with having an attractive, horny girlfriend. Enjoy!


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## djudex (Dec 8, 2012)

It's perfectly normal to feel that kind of struggle and it just shows you're an emotionally healthy human being, it's the classic war of your base urges versus your humanity. It's hard not to feel a tad guilty when what is making your engines rev is also causing someone else discomfort but really all you can do is be loving, be supportive, convince him to go back to the doctor to get something that works better (or at all) for his problems and enjoy riding the fat boy rocketship in the meantime.

My brother has quite bad arthritis and he's always looking in to new and entertaining ways to fight it. They say for a natural solution that tumeric is supposed to help but it has to be taken with something (in this case probably cooked in to food would be best!) so the stomach acid doesn't simply wipe it out on contact.


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## MrBob (Dec 8, 2012)

djudex said:


> It's perfectly normal to feel that kind of struggle and it just shows you're an emotionally healthy human being, it's the classic war of your base urges versus your humanity. It's hard not to feel a tad guilty when what is making your engines rev is also causing someone else discomfort but really all you can do is be loving, be supportive, convince him to go back to the doctor to get something that works better (or at all) for his problems and enjoy riding the fat boy rocketship in the meantime.
> 
> My brother has quite bad arthritis and he's always looking in to new and entertaining ways to fight it. They say for a natural solution that tumeric is supposed to help but it has to be taken with something (in this case probably cooked in to food would be best!) so the stomach acid doesn't simply wipe it out on contact.



You can get Circumin supplements (which is the active compound in Turmeric) that are in a bio-available form. Also, Vitamin D3 supplements are good for helping inflammation. A big guy could easily require 10,000 IU's a day.


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## ~KawaiiFFA~ (Dec 8, 2012)

Thanks for the advice. I will definitely look into those supplements.

And I guess I just need to remind myself of this:



djudex said:


> It's perfectly normal to feel that kind of struggle and it just shows you're an emotionally healthy human being.



No one can help what gets them going. It would only be a real issue if I totally disregarded my partner's health and well-being for the sake of a fantasy...something that sadly, I have actually seen happen before.


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## LeoGibson (Dec 8, 2012)

djudex said:


> It's perfectly normal to feel that kind of struggle and it just shows you're an emotionally healthy human being, it's the classic war of your base urges versus your humanity. It's hard not to feel a tad guilty when what is making your engines rev is also causing someone else discomfort but really all you can do is be loving, be supportive, convince him to go back to the doctor to get something that works better (or at all) for his problems and enjoy riding the fat boy rocketship in the meantime.
> 
> My brother has quite bad arthritis and he's always looking in to new and entertaining ways to fight it. They say for a natural solution that tumeric is supposed to help but it has to be taken with something (in this case probably cooked in to food would be best!) so the stomach acid doesn't simply wipe it out on contact.



I'll second MrBob's advice about supplementation. Curcumin is the active compound in Turmeric that fights inflammation. Make sure your brother gets one with either biperine, piperine, or black pepper extract in the ingredients list. That is what activates the Curcumin. If you cook with Turmeric make sure and put a good dose of black pepper with it. That will get it working.

I have chronic tendinitis in my wrist, and have just begun to get over tennis elbow after about 8 months, as well as what I think is arthritis in both hands, as soon as my health insurance kicks in in a couple weeks I plan a doctor visit to get that one confirmed. But the regimen I use to help me cope is vitamin B6 as inflammation robs this vitamin from your body, Curcumin, and a blend of essential fatty acids. The Vitamin Shoppe has all these at decent prices and they are pretty good, however I prefer to get it from Biotest as I have used a lot of their products off and on for years to good results. If you go with Biotest, you want to hit it with Curcumin, Flameout, and FA3. They have different blends of EFA's at The Vitamin Shoppe so just look for some that covers all the bases like the two from Biotest, and they have Curcumin by name there.

You can find those here Biotest.

Or here if you prefer The Vitamin Shoppe.

@Kawaii, that prednisone is bad juju long term, I can't say any of this would absolutely work for your guy, but if it was me, I would look into a cortisone injection at the problem area for a quick fix to get ambulatory and get some relief, and then attack the inflammation naturally with the above mentioned protocol. It takes 4-8 weeks to build up in the body and start showing good results. It is not a quick fix, that's why I suggest a cortisone shot first. If that didn't work, then I'd go for the prednisone. But that's just me, and I'm no doctor, so take it for what it's worth. Good luck.


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## ~KawaiiFFA~ (Dec 8, 2012)

LeoGibson said:


> I'll second MrBob's advice about supplementation. Curcumin is the active compound in Turmeric that fights inflammation. Make sure your brother gets one with either biperine, piperine, or black pepper extract in the ingredients list. That is what activates the Curcumin. If you cook with Turmeric make sure and put a good dose of black pepper with it. That will get it working.
> 
> I have chronic tendinitis in my wrist, and have just begun to get over tennis elbow after about 8 months, as well as what I think is arthritis in both hands, as soon as my health insurance kicks in in a couple weeks I plan a doctor visit to get that one confirmed. But the regimen I use to help me cope is vitamin B6 as inflammation robs this vitamin from your body, Curcumin, and a blend of essential fatty acids. The Vitamin Shoppe has all these at decent prices and they are pretty good, however I prefer to get it from Biotest as I have used a lot of their products off and on for years to good results. If you go with Biotest, you want to hit it with Curcumin, Flameout, and FA3. They have different blends of EFA's at The Vitamin Shoppe so just look for some that covers all the bases like the two from Biotest, and they have Curcumin by name there.
> 
> ...



Wow, thanks, that's a lot of information. Yeah, personally I think the doctor should have looked into other options before hastily prescribing this, but again, I'm not a professional.

I will certainly pass this along because he doesn't want to be on this pill if he doesn't have to.


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## LeoGibson (Dec 8, 2012)

~KawaiiFFA~ said:


> Wow, thanks, that's a lot of information. Yeah, personally I think the doctor should have looked into other options before hastily prescribing this, but again, I'm not a professional.
> 
> I will certainly pass this along because he doesn't want to be on this pill if he doesn't have to.



P.S. I also forgot to add, and this one is easier said than done, especially for me, but eliminating as much sugar from the diet as possible will help inflammation. It breeds off of sugar. So anything that spikes the blood sugar high, it would be helpful to limit the amount consumed. In short, sugar or anthing that rapidly turns to sugar in the body should be severely limited to fight inflammation. 

I know, sounds good in theory, but when that big ol' chocolate mousse cake is just sitting there begging to be ate, whatcha gonna do?


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## Cobra Verde (Dec 9, 2012)

You know now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever felt one without the other. Thanks, Catholicism.


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## ~KawaiiFFA~ (Dec 10, 2012)

Cobra Verde said:


> You know now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever felt one without the other. Thanks, Catholicism.



LOL. I have OCD so scrupulosity is a thing I deal with...yeah. I left Christianity years ago so that helps a little with the endless guilt but...not completely. :/


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## Tad (Dec 10, 2012)

Have I? Oh yah.....pretty much since forever. Amongst other things my wife has a history of problems with her knees, and occasionally she's aggravated things to the point where she has to stay mostly off her feet for a while, which inevitably results in weight gain--which she dislikes and which is apt to make her knees worse, so which I don't want to happen for her sake....but darn it if it isn't a turn on! :doh: :doh: :doh: 

If anything I think maybe maybe feeling guilty about it almost adds to the turn on, as it makes it feel more naughty or taboo and I have the classic WASP issues with anything taboo having some sex appeal simply because it is taboo.


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## sarahe543 (Dec 11, 2012)

i feel bad because my man has lost weight since we have been together. his trousers are loose and he seemed please and said its because of all the sex  guilt because i i don't want him to get too small. he's in a 4 or 5 xl shirt currently and that's just divine MMMMMMM


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## ~KawaiiFFA~ (Dec 11, 2012)

Tad said:


> If anything I think maybe maybe feeling guilty about it almost adds to the turn on, as it makes it feel more naughty or taboo and I have the classic WASP issues with anything taboo having some sex appeal simply because it is taboo.



Sometimes I think this is part of my problem. I can't tell sometimes I'm giving into the guilt for the sake of being turned on a bit.



sarahe543 said:


> i feel bad because my man has lost weight since we have been together. his trousers are loose and he seemed please and said its because of all the sex  guilt because i i don't want him to get too small. he's in a 4 or 5 xl shirt currently and that's just divine MMMMMMM



Yeah, I feel you. Whenever my boyfriend says the word "diet" I fly into panic mode and then feel really guilty about it. 

Also, just the words "4 or 5xl" are enough to make me swoon. :wubu:


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## sarahe543 (Dec 11, 2012)

oh i know. when i said i like something to grab hold of and he said :i noticed' my legs turned to jelly


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## BigChaz (Dec 11, 2012)

~KawaiiFFA~ said:


> Sometimes I think this is part of my problem. I can't tell sometimes I'm giving into the guilt for the sake of being turned on a bit.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Hello.



4 or 5xl.



nailed it.


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## ~KawaiiFFA~ (Dec 11, 2012)

BigChaz said:


> Hello.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



*applause*


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## djudex (Dec 11, 2012)

BigChaz said:


> Hello.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I'll see your 4 or 5XL and add a T good sir.


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## Paquito (Dec 11, 2012)

BigChaz said:


> Hello.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## BigChaz (Dec 11, 2012)

Paquito said:


> best show on tv



Paquito,

You truly know how to arouse me


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## f0nzw0rth (Dec 12, 2012)

Im still very new to this forum and new to all of this...never knew any of this existed...In my life so far if I mention a 4xl shirt the girls I know jump out the window
also I have nothing to offer in the form of advise lol
I bring nothing to the table


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## BigChaz (Dec 12, 2012)

f0nzw0rth said:


> I bring nothing to the table



So say we all


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## CastingPearls (Dec 12, 2012)

Nonononono you LEAVE nothing at the table, which we likey. Keep it up.


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## Mordecai (Dec 12, 2012)

CastingPearls said:


> Nonononono you LEAVE nothing at the table, which we likey. Keep it up.



Cleaning up after one's self is a good thing to do.


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## gythaogg (Dec 12, 2012)

I'm experiencing this on a smaller level, thankfully with no health issues so far. My lad has put on a few lately and all his favourite shirts are getting too tight to wear out. It's a major blow to his self esteem and I have told him that I'd be very happy to help him lose weight responsibly if he wants to, because I just want to see him healthy and happy (right now he's looking at moving from 2xls into 3xls if he keeps up his current eating but he has been most comfortable at a 1xl, and he's still gorgeous to me that way), and I'll love his body however he looks. But the truth is that when he told me he was outgrowing all his shirts the little reel of mental images that played in my head got me unbelievably excited and caused some of the best sex we've ever had. To know that the thing causing him such anguish and self doubt is the thing that makes me wet makes me feel so superficial and shallow. But holy hell, he looks so goddamn good and feels so fucking heavy, I just... AUGH.


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## ~KawaiiFFA~ (Dec 12, 2012)

gythaogg said:


> But the truth is that when he told me he was outgrowing all his shirts the little reel of mental images that played in my head got me unbelievably excited and caused some of the best sex we've ever had. To know that the thing causing him such anguish and self doubt is the thing that makes me wet makes me feel so superficial and shallow. But holy hell, he looks so goddamn good and feels so fucking heavy, I just... AUGH.



^^^^ This x 8475902847592803475834753845


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## BigChaz (Dec 13, 2012)

I was thinking about this last night, actually.

A few days ago, I was leaving Costco and a cart was rolling towards someones car. I started to "run" after it, but really it just turned into a sad excuse of an effort. On one hand, I was conflicted about the fact that I can't even chase down a grocery cart, but on the other I was like "ah yeah. I can't even chase down a grocery cart.". Which should I be more worried about? I dunno. It's kind of a wussy thing to be outrun by a rolling cart, but at the same time...


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## ~KawaiiFFA~ (Dec 13, 2012)

BigChaz said:


> I was thinking about this last night, actually.
> 
> A few days ago, I was leaving Costco and a cart was rolling towards someones car. I started to "run" after it, but really it just turned into a sad excuse of an effort. On one hand, I was conflicted about the fact that I can't even chase down a grocery cart, but on the other I was like "ah yeah. I can't even chase down a grocery cart.". Which should I be more worried about? I dunno. It's kind of a wussy thing to be outrun by a rolling cart, but at the same time...



That story made ME feel conflicted. ENDLESS CYCLE OF GUILT. lol


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## Amaranthine (Dec 13, 2012)

BigChaz said:


> I was thinking about this last night, actually.
> 
> A few days ago, I was leaving Costco and a cart was rolling towards someones car. I started to "run" after it, but really it just turned into a sad excuse of an effort. On one hand, I was conflicted about the fact that I can't even chase down a grocery cart, but on the other I was like "ah yeah. I can't even chase down a grocery cart.". Which should I be more worried about? I dunno. It's kind of a wussy thing to be outrun by a rolling cart, but at the same time...



At least you made an attempt. You get points for being a good person.


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## ~KawaiiFFA~ (Dec 13, 2012)

Amaranthine said:


> At least you made an attempt. You get points for being a good person.



Yes, this.


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## BigChaz (Dec 13, 2012)

~KawaiiFFA~ said:


> Yes, this.



So when do we get a youtube video of you juggling moobs? I seriously want to see some moobs gettin juggled.


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## ~KawaiiFFA~ (Dec 13, 2012)

BigChaz said:


> So when do we get a youtube video of you juggling moobs? I seriously want to see some moobs gettin juggled.



LOL, I'll try to get on it. I just have to convince "the moobs" to comply, which might be a bit of a challenge.


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## Sasquatch! (Dec 14, 2012)

~KawaiiFFA~ said:


> LOL, I'll try to get on it. I just have to convince "the moobs" to comply, which might be a bit of a challenge.



I'd like to see how that conversation pans out.

Also, your boyfriend's codename is now totally "The Moobs".


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## ~KawaiiFFA~ (Dec 14, 2012)

Sasquatch! said:


> I'd like to see how that conversation pans out.
> 
> Also, your boyfriend's codename is now totally "The Moobs".



Oh no...

He was considering joining, but if he sees this post I'm pretty sure he'll just go "NOPE, I'M OUT" and run all the way across the internet to safety. What have I done?! :doh:


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## Mordecai (Dec 14, 2012)

~KawaiiFFA~ said:


> Oh no...
> 
> He was considering joining, but if he sees this post I'm pretty sure he'll just go "NOPE, I'M OUT" and run all the way across the internet to safety. What have I done?! :doh:



Started toughening him up? He'll grow into his roll.


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## Paquito (Dec 14, 2012)

He had to discover his moobs someday, dearie.


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## ~KawaiiFFA~ (Dec 16, 2012)

I showed him this thread and he laughed. Crisis averted.


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## analikesyourface (Dec 16, 2012)

I work fast food sadly. Every day I feel the pain and pleasure of handing regulars triple baconators and large no ice cokes. 

I feel bad, but I'm just like.... YAY. HE'S EATING A LOT. LOL. MY LADY BITS ARE OKAY WITH THIS. 
Then my brain interjects with a "You are a fucking bitch, bro. You know how much fat you just cleaned out of the troughs on the grill? HE JUST CONSUMED A LARGE PORTION OF THAT."


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## Cobra Verde (Dec 16, 2012)

You _should _take pleasure in it, you're doing God's work. Forget cops and firemen, fast food employees are the real heroes of society.


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## analikesyourface (Dec 16, 2012)

Cobra Verde said:


> You _should _take pleasure in it, you're doing God's work. Forget cops and firemen, fast food employees are the real heroes of society.



If only smoking weed under the hoods and making burgers was god's work......

I hate to say it, but my year off from school is totally turning into 
"get stoned, don't kill the customers at work, go to your adult ed class to stay in the habit of doing homework, smoke more weed, go party, and then try to say that I'm a classy individual"-time. 

I guess that's why I took a year off though, so I could get this out of my system and NOT pay 30-50 grand a year....


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## ~KawaiiFFA~ (Dec 16, 2012)

analikesyourface said:


> If only smoking weed under the hoods and making burgers was god's work......
> 
> I hate to say it, but my year off from school is totally turning into
> "get stoned, don't kill the customers at work, go to your adult ed class to stay in the habit of doing homework, smoke more weed, go party, and then try to say that I'm a classy individual"-time.
> ...



I took a semester off of college and I literally can't remember a single thing I did. Like, it's a haze. I'm pretty sure 90% of it was spent trying to get my douchebag drug-dealer ex to pay attention to me and sitting on the couch eating goldfish crackers, sort-of pretending I was writing.

But yeah...it's better to take a break and regroup when you have to than waste a ton of money on our overpriced education system.


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