# Fat c***



## k1009 (Nov 25, 2007)

My first drive by fat insult! I was at a cafe this arvo and sitting outside when a disgusting old car approached and a westie accent screamed "fat c***" at me while it drove past. I know I should have been offended but the first thing I thought was that he was a long way from the unemployment office. Mean, I know, but I don't see people like that often and I don't know anyone who'd use the c word in public. What pissed me off afterwards is that this ape has probably gone away thinking that he'd insulted a fat girl and made her cry.

The people around were really upset on my behalf and I thought that was sweet of them (the waitress must have told the owner or something because I got my afternoon's worth of coffee and mineral free) but I'm not just pissed off because this jerk's gone away thinking that he's upset me, I'm angry that he's still on my mind five hours later. 

My problem, I guess is that I could cope with an insult to my face. I'm not super confident but I can keep my emotions to myself so if someone actually called me a fat c* and didn't run off I'd probably roll my eyes and ask them if their mother was incapable of teaching them proper manners or if she just didn't care enough to do so. 

I'm just really annoyed. I can shake off the insult because it comes from someone so far beneath me as to be insignificant. No one speaks like he did and drives a car like that without being headed for a pretty miserable life. But that he's gone away thinking that he made me upset? I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed that I'm annoyed. Ugh.

I just wanted to vent. Sorry if this belongs elsewhere.


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## DUBLINDA (Nov 25, 2007)

That is just plain nasty and Im sorry that you had to endure that. I think what me angry about and maybe this is why it is still on your mind so long after the incident is that it was a "drive-by". This has got to be the most cowardly way to try to offend/insult anyone. For me personally I would have preferred to be face to face with him and challenge him on his remark and then see how brave and intelligent he is.

I reckon he has to be one of those people who has bad things going on his life and feels the need to make other people miserable in theirs. I feel sorry for him that he feels the need to express himself with such crude language and to use both those words in such a derogatory manner. He is not worth the stress or time you are wasting by thinking about him. You are so much better than he is and please try to remember that.


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## ripley (Nov 25, 2007)

I'm really, really, really sorry that you got insulted. I know how that can make you feel, firsthand.


Your post though...wow. Very snobby.


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## Ruby Ripples (Nov 25, 2007)

I agree with both Dublinda and Ripley. I think it's the fact that you weren't even given a chance to retort before he disappeared, that makes it most infuriating. And, like Ripley I do think a lot of came off as very snobbish on your part too. I'm not working, I can't EVEN afford a car of any sort, but I most definitely would never have behaved like that. And on the other side, Ive seen very highly paid, "respectable" surgeons and lawyers talk like your drive by assailant.


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## Shosh (Nov 25, 2007)

Gday K,

Don't give it another thought as it sounds like if the guy had a brain cell it would be lonely.I am a big believer in karma, and I think if somebody has to hurl abuse at another like that, negative consequences will come back to bite that person tenfold.


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## k1009 (Nov 25, 2007)

I was really angry when I typed that. I'd been having a fantastic day - early, long breakfast to analyse the election results with fellow politics junkies, a quick walk through the park and then plonking my bum down for a bit of people watching. 

I don't mean to come off as sounding like a snob but that's all I have at the moment. I know nothing about him save for that he speaks poorly (not just that he'd say the c word but that his accent is heavily westie - redneck for those who aren't Australian) and that he drives a bad car. I'm still thinking about how proud he must have felt for targeting a fat girl. So I know that he's an an asshole, that he was raised by people who didn't instill any social graces in him, that he drives a bad car in a suburb full of luxury cars and taxis so he's probably working. On a sunday, he's working on a sunday. From what I can tell he wasn't young so whatever his lot in life, it probably won't improve. I really have nothing to make me feel superior to him except for the fact that I was born into a better family, that I was raised better, that I don't live the life he lives.

And... after all that, I still come off as sounding petty and a snob. I'm sorry, I'm not one to judge on socioeconomic circumstances normally, but I need something to feel angry at.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone here, I never intended to. And thanks to those who said nice things, although the fact that I'm not alone in this happening isn't a very nice thing. I hate that this happens to fat people, I really, really do.


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## k1009 (Nov 25, 2007)

I guess I'm also upset that I was the fat girl stereotype. I was sitting alone, with my laptop (I take it everywhere, yay for wireless modems) and I had a really yummy friand. I was just eating and surfing the net by myself.

I realise how stupid that sounds to be upset about that, but it keeps playing on my mind. Did he target me because I was sitting by myself, using a computer and stuffing my face? I don't know.

Again, I'm really sorry if I offended anyone. I don't mean to sound like a snob and I'll probably feel terrible about it once I get over being so angry.


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## Gspoon (Nov 25, 2007)

I can't stand that word. It actually makes me sick to my stomach.

The word has been around for ages. It needs to die out. I can stand some vulgar words, like F*** and S***, so on and so forth. Degrading words for race, gender, religion, had their time... a horrible time at that. We, as a race, need to move on...

Sorry, I shouldn't be preaching. Its just how I feel.

Many apologies, K


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## mango (Nov 25, 2007)

*(((((( k ))))))

I'm sorry a loudmouth boofhead bogan had to ruin your day.

People like that aren't worth the time of day. I bet you're a big beautiful cutie. 

Interesting you should mention politics & the election. The sad thing is jerks like that vote too,,, it's a frightening thought.
It wasn't too long ago that a former leader of a major Austrlaian political party proudly littered parliament with references to the 'c word'. I believe he may have come from a similar area of town.

*


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## LoveBHMS (Nov 25, 2007)

k1009 said:


> I was really angry when I typed that. I'd been having a fantastic day - early, long breakfast to analyse the election results with fellow politics junkies, a quick walk through the park and then plonking my bum down for a bit of people watching.
> 
> I don't mean to come off as sounding like a snob but that's all I have at the moment. I know nothing about him save for that he speaks poorly (not just that he'd say the c word but that his accent is heavily westie - redneck for those who aren't Australian) and that he drives a bad car. I'm still thinking about how proud he must have felt for targeting a fat girl. So I know that he's an an asshole, that he was raised by people who didn't instill any social graces in him, that he drives a bad car in a suburb full of luxury cars and taxis so he's probably working. On a sunday, he's working on a sunday. From what I can tell he wasn't young so whatever his lot in life, it probably won't improve. I really have nothing to make me feel superior to him except for the fact that I was born into a better family, that I was raised better, that I don't live the life he lives.
> 
> ...



Well now I need to rant.

He's working on a SUNDAY. OMG. No way! Working. On a Sunday. Imagine that. Ewwww. I mean would getting insulted by a person "raised better" and who "lives the life you live" have been better.

For what it's worth K, I work Sundays. So do lots of people. And it's nice to know that if I were ever in Austrailia you wouldn't socialize with me because {horrors} I *work on a Sunday.*

Maybe once you've calmed down you can articulate the difference between some Westie (ewwww again, how DARE he be born in the wrong station in life.) insulting and judging *you* for your weight and you judging *him* for his car, socio-economic status, and his age (you mention he wasn't young so his station probably wouldn't improve.)

Your whole post was just awfully snobby sounding. It's almost as if you'd think a more educated and refined person might have a point in calling you fat, but how DARE some icky gross working-on-a-Sunday poor person insult you. You say you don't judge on socioeconomic level, but yes you do. And you're angry that he thought you might fit the fat girl stereotype yet you've ranted on and on about some random stranger's car, accent, probably job, and how he must be angry having to see what luxury you live in while having been born and raised better than he.


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## Scrumptious_voluptuous (Nov 25, 2007)

Drive-by shoutings are sooo annoying. Yes, you shouldn't take any notice. Yes, they're totally beneath you. Yes, you can be as strong and as confident as you like within your self but...it STILL just stays on your mind! Grrrr!

Back in my tiny, small, sleepy old town, I used to get them all the time, and no matter how confident I am within myself, it still just stays on my mind. (Although if I got an afternoon's worth of coffee for free, I think I'd be slightly happier about it!)

The only comfort is that back in the dull days of my wily youth, I've seen 'friends' do it, or my sister (she's a terror for it) and I know the 'Glee' they get from it is brief. No, they wont spend the whole afternoon chuffed about how they insulted a fat girl from across the street... because 5 minutes later, they'll probably do it to someone else. (As I said, my town was tiny and DULL, there really wasn't much else to do but insult each other. Fortunately it's a lot less prevailent in the city)


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## big_gurl_lvr (Nov 25, 2007)

F*** him. You must be real looser to scream such a things to random people around. Sorry for my words by they just fit the situation most.


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## xoxoshelby (Nov 25, 2007)

Wow. This girl comes here looking to vent and get some support and everyone jumps down her throat. Sometimes when people get upset or angry about something they don't think straight and may say things they wouldn't normally say. Don't tell me some of you don't do this. Instead of focusing on the things she was thinking, how about some support for someone who was very cruely embarressed in public? It has happened to many of us so we should be able to show some support.


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## Violet_Beauregard (Nov 25, 2007)

I agree wholeheartedly Shelby!! 

Give the girl a break! She's allowed to feel what she wants for God's sakes. I've seen lots of people say FAR worse things about others on these boards, than she did about this asshole that screamed something rude directly at her. She's entitled to be pissed off and say whatever the hell she wants to about this guy.

K - I'm so sorry this happened to you. I would feel exactly the same thing as you did. I hope your feelings don't last. This idiot isn't worth your time. 





xoxoshelby said:


> Wow. This girl comes here looking to vent and get some support and everyone jumps down her throat. Sometimes when people get upset or angry about something they don't think straight and may say things they wouldn't normally say. Don't tell me some of you don't do this. Instead of focusing on the things she was thinking, how about some support for someone who was very cruely embarressed in public? It has happened to many of us so we should be able to show some support.


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## exile in thighville (Nov 25, 2007)

k1009 said:


> My first drive by fat insult! I was at a cafe this arvo and sitting outside when a disgusting old car approached and a westie accent screamed "fat c***" at me while it drove past. I know I should have been offended but the first thing I thought was that he was a long way from the unemployment office. Mean, I know, but I don't see people like that often and I don't know anyone who'd use the c word in public. What pissed me off afterwards is that this ape has probably gone away thinking that he'd insulted a fat girl and made her cry.
> 
> The people around were really upset on my behalf and I thought that was sweet of them (the waitress must have told the owner or something because I got my afternoon's worth of coffee and mineral free) but I'm not just pissed off because this jerk's gone away thinking that he's upset me, I'm angry that he's still on my mind five hours later.
> 
> ...



And you coped well...what was does that even mean "fat cunt"? The least effective insults, believe it or not, are unspecific ones like "fat bitch" "cunt" etc, especially when they don't even know you. I'm way more hurt by people who actually know me who'd say something like that...they've made up their mind. When a random stranger does it it's almost amusing once you get past the shock of it, right? I mean, who is this guy? What kind of person shouts things out of cars and speeds away? No one like that could say anything to me and make me feel inferior to them.


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## Sweet_Serenade (Nov 25, 2007)

I hate drive by shoutings so badly.
I always wonder what sort of cowards actually find them to be a good, empowering idea. I get a real "daddy didn't hug me enough" vibe from them, overcompensation.
So I'm often frustrated at first, but left wondering what happened in that persons life a moment later. To make that person such a jerk, feeding from the pain of others, and too scared to even do it on foot. 
I wonder if these people realize just how weak it makes them look.

I don't really get any comments screamed at me regarding my weight... yet. 
I'm more familiar with happy, confident nights where my spouse and I are holding hands or whatever. Then some lovely individual screams a sexuality slur. It happens with a lot more frequency than you may think, a lot more. Hence we often go outside as just friends.

People can be a headache and a half. But just be so happy you're not them. Seeking power through hurting others, you're above them and able to sit back with a grin on your face and think of that person as the sad, feeble willed individual they really are.


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## moore2me (Nov 25, 2007)

K1009, 

Put it in a little shoe box in a closet in your mind & forget about it. It's not worth anymore of your attention. If it pleases you, picture him having a flat, getting out to change the tire & getting sprayed by a skunk (you do have skunks in Australia don't you?). So, he goes home reeking and his wife, or girlfriend, or more likely his boyfriend won't let him in the house for the night, and he has to sleep in the yard on the picnic table, where he gets harassed by mosquitos and gnats all night long. 

It could have been worse. I was "insulted" once by a group of boys in a car who drove by me on the road and threw a coke can at me. The problem is I was riding a horse on the side of the road at the time. Anyone who knows how crazy horses can be, knows that the horse (if she had of been hit instead of me) probably would have spooked and both of us would probably have bolted in front of the heckler's car & been windshield ornaments.


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## sweet&fat (Nov 25, 2007)

K- That sucks. So sorry. Both for the insult itself and the fact that you became "that poor fat girl" to the others around you.

You know, I've heard similar insults from men after they've hit on me unsuccessfully- I go from a smokin' babe to a "fat bitch" or much worse in approx. 2.2 nanoseconds, and it's entirely because I've rejected them. It just shows how arbitrary and empty these loaded insults really are.


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## LoveBHMS (Nov 25, 2007)

the OP was totally snobby and offensive.

If she'd just told the story about some man insulting her and said he was wimpy or rude or nasty or spineless or classless, that would have made sense. However she wrote line after line about this poor, not well brought up person who is beneath her station in life who's *working on a Sunday*. The model of his car, his income, parentage, and job are not relevant. There are polite poor people as well as obnoxious rich people.

Repeated rants about somebody's socio-economic status followed by an assertion that she never judges people this way come across as rude. She pretty much listed numerous reasons why she is superior to this person based on upbringing and income, which is just as superficial and obnoxious as assuming you're superior to somebody based on size.


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## Tooz (Nov 25, 2007)

LoveBHMS said:


> Maybe once you've calmed down you can articulate the difference between some Westie (ewwww again, how DARE he be born in the wrong station in life.)



You, my dear, need to calm down. You wanna bitch her out for what she said? Take it to PM-- she was harassed by someone, so she reserves the right to say whatever the hell she wants. The guy brings it on himself. Your panties are in a bundle over the Sunday thing-- maybe things are different in Australia? Or, maybe you live there. Okay. This thread isn't about YOU, though. Good for you, you work on a Sunday. That doesn't lump you in with the redneck asswipe who was bugging the OP.

To the OP-- it doesn't matter if you were perpetuating some stereotype. Actually, I don't think you were-- loads of people sit alone with a laptop and a snack at wifi spots. You were doing nothing wrong. Hell, whenever someone gives me crap, my mind automatically goes to the most derogatory thing I could say/judge about them, too. Don't feel guilty, that would just mean Mr. Redneck was victorious.


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## Maxx Awesome (Nov 25, 2007)

I must add I'm also surprised at people jumping all over a girl who got insulted. The size acceptance communtiy is tearing itself apart!:doh:

I hate idiots who participate in the drive-by insult crap. It's cause of crap like that that an ex of mine became all self-conscious. The girl in question wasn't even that big (she was about 175lbs), some moron in Liverpool pulls up in his chavved out car & calls her a "fat bitch", then speeds off. That's the worst of it, you don't even get a chance to retort to those idiots & you try & put it behind you but this kind of crap can just prey on your mind for ages.

I hope K can put the momentary embarassment behind her & just get on with... like... everything, but it's just damn annoying that there are idiots like that getting their kicks by driving around hurling insults.


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## moore2me (Nov 25, 2007)

Okay, guys - working on Sunday is not a problem in my book. My husband has worked Sundays all of his career - the place where he is employed is open 24/7, and he is a government civil servant. His schedule is just like those of cops, doctors, nurses, military folks, Wal-mart employees, restaurant servers & cooks, truckers, and millions of others around the world. I sincerely doubt is K1009 meant any slam to Sunday workers by her post. I did not take offense. 

As to class, I know very little about Australian culture, but K1009 stated in an earlier post she was going to Thailand to study in the immediate future. She had already began taking innoculations for the trip. Now I know even less about Thailand, but I do know that the country is poor, has rampant diseases that plague the countryside, and is not a place for the weak of heart or delicate of constitution to spend much time. (It is also lovely, steeped in ancient traditions & culture, and home to beautiful people, dance & art.)

So, I do not think she is biased against culture - I think the reference was more to this man's bad breeding or "raising" as we would say in the south. And down here, driving a junker car or truck is a symbol of pride. Sam Walton, founder of Wal-Mart, and once one of the world's richest men (now deceased), drove an old, rusty, pickup truck until the day he died. My husband has two junker trucks in the yard right now in addition to the good truck he drives to work. (Southerners collect old trucks like others collect baseball hats.)


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## Tooz (Nov 25, 2007)

moore2me said:


> working on Sunday



That's the other thing-- I was PROUD when I got shifts on Sundays. Mssachusetts = time and a half! But, I disgress. I agree with the post I quoted.


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## Tina (Nov 25, 2007)

The matter really isn't worth any more of your time, as that guy sounds like a classless jerk. 

I must say, though, that classless jerks drive everything from Pintos to Rolls Royces.


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## Suze (Nov 25, 2007)

I don’t get why most of you are just focusing on what she said instead of what happened to her? Give her a break. Someone called her a fat c***! I wouldn’t be able to be polite or act political correct for that matter if someone talked to me like that.

What a stupid coward…hope your feeling better and forget this jerk soon.


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## LoveBHMS (Nov 25, 2007)

susieQ said:


> I dont get why most of you are just focusing on what she said instead of what happened to her? Give her a break. Someone called her a fat c***! I wouldnt be able to be polite or act political correct for that matter if someone talked to me like that.
> 
> What a stupid cowardhope your feeling better and forget this jerk soon.



I did not mean to belittle how rude this man was. Of course it was rude and uncalled for. 

However if a fat person does a horrible thing, it's not any more or less horrible because they're fat. Let's say a fat guy mugs an old lady for her purse; it's horrible because some guy stole money from somebody. But what if the victim said "Oh it was horrible. This FAT GUY came up and took my money. A FAT person! Can you believe it? He probably needed the money to buy food because all fat people do is sit around stuffing themselves with junk. I can't believe he had the energy to even run away with my purse because all fat people are gross lazy slobs."

This man's actions were rude and objectionable, his "station in life" or job or income or upbringing or car are not.


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## Shosh (Nov 25, 2007)

Gday,

Maybe Kate felt so rattled by what this hideous bogan had to say that she has said some things that she now regrets. She has apologised, so can we now take that at face value and forgive the comments.

There is nothing wrong with driving an old car.My last car was an 18 year old crappy Toyota that just died one day. I have not replaced it, as I don't need a car living in an inner city neighborhood, and I can not afford to maintain a car on my crappy teacher's salary. My expenses are high and I don't have a lot of money. I am a paycheck to paycheck girl, represent!
There is nothing wrong with working on a Sunday, and doing any kind of job. One does not have to have a college degree to be a valued and productive member of society. Whatever job you do people, do it well, and be proud of yourself!

Lastly can I make a plea on behalf of a fellow Australian that we forgive her this Faux Pas and move on. I am the queen of controversial statements, and others have forgiven me. Being called a fat C in such a manner must have been horrible for her, let us not forget that.

Shosh


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## Tina (Nov 25, 2007)

I don't see any reason to hold anything against her, and I'm hoping there won't be. Though there are probably a few who will hold onto this, I think most people here will give second and their chances. Sometimes even more, as we've seen. I can see why some were upset by the stereotyped comment, but I think that so much depends upon the bulk of the person's contributions here, and how positive they are. We're all human, eh?


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## ripley (Nov 25, 2007)

Violet_Beauregard said:


> She's entitled to be pissed off and say whatever the hell she wants to about this guy.





Tooz said:


> she was harassed by someone, so she reserves the right to say whatever the hell she wants.



No. Just....no. If he's black do we call him a ******? If he's Jewish do we call him a kike? NO. Anger and hurt is no excuse to "say whatever you want." 

I'm sorry that happened to her. It's happened to me and it's very hurtful. But so were her snobby, elitist comments. To me, they were on the same level as "fat cunt" and just as out of line.

I won't hold this against her (I don't know how that was assumed?) as I often make mistakes but neither will I condone her comments just because she had a bad day.


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## Tooz (Nov 25, 2007)

ripley said:


> No. Just....no. If he's black do we call him a ******? If he's Jewish do we call him a kike? NO. Anger and hurt is no excuse to "say whatever you want."
> 
> I'm sorry that happened to her. It's happened to me and it's very hurtful. But so were her snobby, elitist comments. To me, they were on the same level as "fat cunt" and just as out of line.
> 
> I won't hold this against her (I don't know how that was assumed?) as I often make mistakes but neither will I condone her comments just because she had a bad day.



I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. I am one who has strong views on the whole economic thing and how it's not okay, but it's also not on the same level as racial slurs.


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## ripley (Nov 25, 2007)

Tooz said:


> I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. I am one who has strong views on the whole economic thing and how it's not okay, but it's also not on the same level as racial slurs.



I don't believe it is either; but saying "she can say whatever she wants" is a slippery slope.


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## Waxwing (Nov 25, 2007)

ripley said:


> I don't believe it is either; but saying "she can say whatever she wants" is a slippery slope.



It is indeed. But I know well that when I've felt insulted my first response is to come out swinging with some insults of my own, which can be incredibly cruel. 

His social class is, of course, irrelevant. I think that when we feel threatened or insignificant, we jump on anything we can to bring the other party down. Though I understand that, it doesn't make meeting slur with slur okay. Human, though.

Makes you wonder what about her so threatened this man, so made him feel insignificant and worthless, that he had to pick out the only thing he could think of to insult her. Seems pretty pathetic to me.

We just can't let ourselves drop down to that level.


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## Tooz (Nov 25, 2007)

ripley said:


> I don't believe it is either; but saying "she can say whatever she wants" is a slippery slope.



Maybe it is, but to avoid straying from the original post and my original point, people should stop jumping on her. A lot of that goes around on these forums.


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## Tooz (Nov 25, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> We just can't let ourselves drop down to that level.



While I respect what you are saying, I can't agree with this. Where has turning the other cheek gotten me/us? Nowhere. Saying "don't stoop to their level!" is like saying "oh you just have to move on" to someone going through a bad breakup or death. It doesn't really work. When I don't "stoop to 'their' level," whatever incident it is related to eats me up inside more than it would otherwise. Sorta.


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## Tina (Nov 25, 2007)

ripley said:


> I won't hold this against her (I don't know how that was assumed?) as I often make mistakes but neither will I condone her comments just because she had a bad day.


Where was it assumed you would hold it against her? I don't believe anyone said that.

Look, we all make mistakes and say things that are out of line. Do I think a person should be called on it? Yep. But there isn't a one of us who hasn't stepped in it somehow at one time or another.

Having grown up in a family who didn't have much money, and having been through the spectrum of poor to almost middle class, I know that there certainly is discrimination based upon class, and it feels no better inside than being discriminated against because of weight (I cannot speak to race). All my point was that she made a mistake, she was told about it, let's move on. If it happens again, then no pass, because it shows a pattern. Those are my feelings, YMMV -- "your" being the general and not specific.


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## ripley (Nov 25, 2007)

I am not jumping on her. 

Fact is, her post, and the whole "I'm better than him cause he's poor and drives a junk car and has no future" thing made me feel worse than some of the fat insults I've gotten. If I can show her and others how saying the kind of things she said is hurtful and wrong, then I am going to do it. I don't think I was mean or cruel in the things that I said to her, even though her attitude was hurtful to me.


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## ripley (Nov 25, 2007)

Tina said:


> Where was it assumed you would hold it against her? I don't believe anyone said that.



Not me specifically, but it was mentioned earlier in the thread that some people might.


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## Waxwing (Nov 25, 2007)

Tooz said:


> While I respect what you are saying, I can't agree with this. Where has turning the other cheek gotten me/us? Nowhere. Saying "don't stoop to their level!" is like saying "oh you just have to move on" to someone going through a bad breakup or death. It doesn't really work. When I don't "stoop to 'their' level," whatever incident it is related to eats me up inside more than it would otherwise. Sorta.



I hear you. I was raised with that turn the other cheek mentality and it hurt me in many ways. There is something to be said for sticking up for yourself, and for meeting fire with fire. 

My problem with it is that it's one thing to toss an insult back, but another to pick on something which is equally superficial and unimportant. Weight, social class, car make-- all of these things are meaningless.

But. We should not allow people to abuse us without response. So I absolutely see where you're coming from.


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## elle camino (Nov 25, 2007)

i dunno, i've been heckled by people in passing on the street more times than i can even count, so i'm well aware of how shitty it is. but i can still say i found the car comment pretty snobby and ridiculous. i don't really differentiate between assholes who make fun of poor people and assholes who make fun of fat people, and two wrongs still don't make a right. in that kind of situation (where you've been insulted and more or less humiliated by someone for no reason), the last thing i'd want to do is give anyone the impression that i'm a crappy, shallow individual myself and somehow kinda deserved to be insulted like that.
but, i can't begrudge someone else their own honest reaction, so. 
whatevs.


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## Tina (Nov 25, 2007)

dan ex machina said:


> And you coped well...what was does that even mean "fat cunt"? The least effective insults, believe it or not, are unspecific ones like "fat bitch" "cunt" etc, especially when they don't even know you. I'm way more hurt by people who actually know me who'd say something like that...they've made up their mind. When a random stranger does it it's almost amusing once you get past the shock of it, right? I mean, who is this guy? What kind of person shouts things out of cars and speeds away? No one like that could say anything to me and make me feel inferior to them.


I SO totally agree with you, Dan. It can be difficult to grow a tough exterior, and let's face it, none of us is completely impermeable, but yeah, random strangers? Unimportant. One factor can be being startled by it, though. That, IMO, is a factor that can kind of stick with a person for a little while, but even then it must be put into perspective. Enough of us are walking wounded from a lifetime of this crap as it is, but at some point, we have to try to let it roll off our backs just for our own protection. I'm not saying that's easy, mind you, just necessary.


ripley said:


> Not me specifically, but it was mentioned earlier in the thread that some people might.


It was me who mentioned that, because it certainly happens enough. No need to personalize it, though. I wasn't talking about you, just in general and frequently enough to remember that it happens.


elle camino said:


> but, i can't begrudge someone else their own honest reaction, so.
> whatevs.


That's how I feel, too. It's not cool to do, but without having seen a pattern of this, no reason to hold onto it and keep it going. *shrug*


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## ClashCityRocker (Nov 25, 2007)

not everyone out west is that ignorant...i really admire that, rather than getting offended or hurt, you're angry at how much of an asshole he is...but hey, everyone gets angry, and that's pretty strong of you.


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## k1009 (Nov 25, 2007)

Hi, the tasteless snob back again.

I was incredibly angry last night, moreso than I've been in a long, long time. It was my first real fat insult and only the second time in my life I've been called a c*** (the first came from an ex who was pretty angry himself and I gave as good as I got). I'd been ranting about what had happened for a few hours with friends and my mother and that was pretty much the language we used, which probably says a lot about my friends and family, but that's just who I am, no point trying to recloset myself now. I can be a foot in mouth person when I forget where I am. Posting things about cars, about working conditions? Now that I'm past being pissed off, I realise very tacky and possibly hurtful to people reading it. Not good.

I guess I can't excuse away what I said about him so I won't. He went away from our little encounter thinking he had upset me, and I'm going to continue to take pleasure in the fact that his life is probably pretty horrible itself. Hopefully one day I'll be able to laugh at it, but not at the moment, and not for a long, long time. 

What I said about his car, working sundays, it wasn't meant to be taken as a jab at people who do that. I've been a uni student the past three years, most of us lived pretty badly, but we'd never, ever speak the way that man did or use the words he chose. I won't regale you with "my best friend is totally poor, I am not classist!!!!!!" stories because truthfully, the people in my world are as obnoxious as I am. This is, though, the first time I've ever commented on someone's financial status in this way. Does it make me feel like the better person? Of course not, I feel small and petty, but I feel better for doing it. Am I a snob? I'd like to think not, but actions speak louder than words so maybe I am. That's my thing to deal with.

Thanks to everyone who said nice things, it was good to log in today - from another cafe with another sweet treat, I clearly wasn't deterred - and read them. That along with my bitchbitchbitch to just about anyone who'd listen has made me feel a little happier and perhaps a little less bitchy today.

Btw, thanks to those who sent me pms, I'll reply when I get home as I'm about to run out of battery in five, four, three... too much time writing this post.


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## Canonista (Nov 25, 2007)

xoxoshelby said:


> Wow. This girl comes here looking to vent and get some support and everyone jumps down her throat. Sometimes when people get upset or angry about something they don't think straight and may say things they wouldn't normally say. Don't tell me some of you don't do this. Instead of focusing on the things she was thinking, how about some support for someone who was very cruely embarressed in public? It has happened to many of us so we should be able to show some support.



Exactly. Some people here just spend too much time picking the little stuff apart instead of just letting someone have a good rant.

This is a rant thread, not a request to evaluate the OP's writing style.:doh:


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## ripley (Nov 26, 2007)

Tina said:


> It was me who mentioned that, because it certainly happens enough. No need to personalize it, though. I wasn't talking about you, just in general and frequently enough to remember that it happens.



I didn't personalize it. I just wanted to say that I, for one, would not do that.


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## Fascinita (Nov 26, 2007)

Just yesterday I was standing at the bus stop when a guy on a motorcycle said "Eeeeeew" to me as he whizzed by. Was I upset or embarrassed? No. I don't give a shit what some random noise-polluter who thinks his shit doesn't stink thinks of my fat body. Who the fuck cares? Worse crap than that has happened and will happen to me. Life can't be all pretty, you know?

And you know what? A few years ago I was standing on a corner, waiting for a bus when a guy on a moped whizzed by and shouted out "Hey gorgeous!"

You can't let these things define how you feel. Move on. Take the good and leave the bad. And stop talking smack about poor people because you had a bad day. It's not pretty.


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## Tina (Nov 26, 2007)

ripley said:


> I didn't personalize it. I just wanted to say that I, for one, would not do that.



I think that when you said: "I won't hold this against her (I don't know how that was assumed?)" The part in parentheses made it seem like whomever (in that case, the whomever was me) assumed you would. Just want to clear up why it seemed to me you had personalized it, when it wasn't meant to be towards anyone in particular. If you didn't, that's good to know.

Just as an aside, I was thinking about something my sweetie told me, about when he was riding his bike in Montreal several years ago. A car with a bunch of guys drove by and blasted one of those air horns in a can at him at close range. Dangerous for several reasons. Scared the life out of him.

I think there are just some people who like to be shitty towards others just for the heck of it. If it wasn't you, Kate, it would have been someone else, because the person was likely just looking for someone to unload on. Nice.


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## ripley (Nov 26, 2007)

Tina said:


> I think that when you said: "I won't hold this against her (I don't know how that was assumed?)" The part in parentheses made it seem like whomever (in that case, the whomever was me) assumed you would. Just want to clear up why it seemed to me you had personalized it, when it wasn't meant to be towards anyone in particular. If you didn't, that's good to know.



Nope, I meant that I didn't know why you would assume anyone would.


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## Tina (Nov 26, 2007)

Oh. I didn't assume anyone would, but rather thought someone might, because it's happened on a semi-regular regular basis, where days, weeks or months later, someone brings up something someone said that bothered them, that they held onto, whether they were actually involved or not, and then used it against them. "Probably a few" was just meant to be what it was. I know I'm not alone in having seen this, and it occurred to me that we all deserve a second chance and I was hoping it wouldn't be held against her if there wasn't/isn't a pattern of such things. Simple as that.


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## mossystate (Nov 26, 2007)

Fascinita said:


> You can't let these things define how you feel. Move on. Take the good and leave the bad. And stop talking smack about poor people because you had a bad day. It's not pretty.



I think this post sums it up for me. I don't want someone treated badly because of weight..or because of economic circumstances. Let's face it, folks who ring up that ice cream that many of us enjoy, are people too. Drive-bys can happen on the street and online..and they feel horrible no matter where. Many people might just stay silent and feel like crap. The piece of crap who yelled out the insult was hoping the target would freeze up and be crushed and silent. It is not a bad thing at all to have these things out when they happen. This is a rant thread..yes..but the man who vomited on the OP might also have been having a bad day. Eh, maybe I will imagine he felt horrible for what he did..as the OP has said she feels badly for what she said.


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## Tina (Nov 26, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Eh, maybe I will imagine he felt horrible for what he did..as the OP has said she feels badly for what she said.


I'd like to think so, but I'm more cynical than that, Monique. Probably the funniest drive-by that I got was from a fat guy in a truck. He called me fat. I mean, how could I be upset at that when I was too busy laughing at the ridiculousness of it. If only he'd have been driving slower, I could have pointed out that, um, he was fat, too. 

Some people are just small-minded and immature, and I don't think those people feel badly about it at all, because they are too busy looking for their next target.


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## mossystate (Nov 26, 2007)

Tina said:


> I'd like to think so, but I'm more cynical than that, Monique. Probably the funniest drive-by that I got was from a fat guy in a truck. He called me fat. I mean, how could I be upset at that when I was too busy laughing at the ridiculousness of it. If only he'd have been driving slower, I could have pointed out that, um, he was fat, too.
> .



Tina, he was wooing you. Like the young boys in school, with the jamming your pigtail in the inkwell...oh...wait...that was a Little House On The Prairie episode.


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## Tina (Nov 26, 2007)

Ha! Yeah, I'll bet!

You know... I'm not one of those women that gets hot at being called fat -- well, at least not like THAT, anyway, it must be admiringly  -- or fat piggy, or piggy, piggy. You get the idea. A character defect, I know, and yet...


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## xoxoshelby (Nov 26, 2007)

Fascinita said:


> Just yesterday I was standing at the bus stop when a guy on a motorcycle said "Eeeeeew" to me as he whizzed by. Was I upset or embarrassed? No. I don't give a shit what some random noise-polluter who thinks his shit doesn't stink thinks of my fat body. Who the fuck cares? Worse crap than that has happened and will happen to me. Life can't be all pretty, you know?
> 
> And you know what? A few years ago I was standing on a corner, waiting for a bus when a guy on a moped whizzed by and shouted out "Hey gorgeous!"
> 
> You can't let these things define how you feel. Move on. Take the good and leave the bad. And stop talking smack about poor people because you had a bad day. It's not pretty.



It's wonderful that you can feel that way. I however, and I'm sure many others, can't just take the good and leave the bad. I would hold on to that for awhile. Just the way I am, nothing I can do about it. I can say it doesn't bother me, but why lie to myself?
I'm sure I would have had much of the same reaction as the OP, does that make me a horrible person? If so, sorry. Again, just the way I am.


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## Shosh (Nov 26, 2007)

ClashCityRocker said:


> not everyone out west is that ignorant...i really admire that, rather than getting offended or hurt, you're angry at how much of an asshole he is...but hey, everyone gets angry, and that's pretty strong of you.



I think Kate was referring to what Aussies call Westies, namely those who live in the western suburbs of Sydney. In Melbourne we call them Bogans.
I am sure they call us stuff too. Meh. That is life.


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## DoctorBreen (Nov 26, 2007)

He was just doing it to make up for the huge failures in his life. I hate people like that, who have to be so prejudiced and insulting.


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## Jes (Nov 26, 2007)

k1009 said:


> I'm sorry if I offended anyone here, I never intended to. .



you didn't offend me! dude sounds pathetic and crazy and i agree that his life sounds pretty shitty. i don't imagine he's very fulfilled and happy with his lot if he's yelling shit out a car window at a woman who doesn't even realize he's there. 

i feel for you. it's happened to me, even recently, and it's so...it gives you this feeling of total impotence. You can't even yell back, or address the issue b/c the person has already fled the scene of the crime! and it was a random stranger which makes you start thinking: is this what every random stranger thinks of me? if every random stranger was the type of person to yell insults, is that what they'd yell at me? It's not like it's someone with whom you had a specific beef. It was a complete and total stranger. That's why it's so insidious. You can't DO anything about it except to vent.


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## Jes (Nov 26, 2007)

mango said:


> [B
> It wasn't too long ago that a former leader of a major Austrlaian political party proudly littered parliament with references to the 'c word'. I believe he may have come from a similar area of town.
> 
> [/B]



shit! i think i know who the guy in the car was, now!! Good sleuthing, mango! you've really been on the ball, of late. I'm gonna pilfer some great shots of you for my VeryHotMangos group!


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## Jes (Nov 26, 2007)

Violet_Beauregard said:


> I agree wholeheartedly Shelby!!
> 
> Give the girl a break! She's allowed to feel what she wants for God's sakes. I've seen lots of people say FAR worse things about others on these boards, than she did about this asshole that screamed something rude directly at her. She's entitled to be pissed off and say whatever the hell she wants to about this guy.
> 
> K - I'm so sorry this happened to you. I would feel exactly the same thing as you did. I hope your feelings don't last. This idiot isn't worth your time.


if only she'd said the guy was a skinny anorexic fug that she wouldn't ever wanna bone!


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## Jes (Nov 26, 2007)

Waxwing said:


> We just can't let ourselves drop down to that level.



i can! 

i prefer to stay in the anger phase as long as possible! hahahaha.


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## TraciJo67 (Nov 26, 2007)

I think that your reaction was a very human & understandable defense mechanism, K1009. I do the same thing when I feel insulted (categorize the person who has offended me), and I'd bet that many of the people who called you to task do as well.


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## LoveBHMS (Nov 26, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> I think that your reaction was a very human & understandable defense mechanism, K1009. I do the same thing when I feel insulted (categorize the person who has offended me), and I'd bet that many of the people who called you to task do as well.



Let's say this poor member of the unlucky sperm club was driving his crappy automobile to his low paying Sunday job. He's in a bad mood, he hates working weekends, hates that he can't affored nice things for his kids, wishes he'd had the good luck to be born into a better station in life. Maybe his job is mowing lawns in the luxury suburb or driving a taxi. Maybe what's running through his head is he's hoping and praying the old car holds out until his next payday so he can afford to fix it.

His route takes him by the upscale cafe where Kate has chosen to spend her Sunday eating pastry, surfing the web, and chatting about the election results. He sees a woman who has luxuries he does not have and he gets resentful. The resentment boils up inside him and he thinks about how angry he is at having to spend his day working instead of eating pastries. Kate embodies everything of which he is jealous and resentful---somebody who through nothing more than an accident of birth is enjoying a lovely restful weekend while he drives off to his awful lowly job in his awful lowly car. He has a road rage type of moment and just fires off at her because he knows he's driving away and wont' have to answer for it. He targets something easily identifiable about her, her size. And he figures she must be a c**t because he HATES people like her.

Maybe that's what happened.


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## Jes (Nov 26, 2007)

LoveBHMS said:


> Maybe that's what happened.



in this scenario, he's still the one yelling insults at her from a car window. in neither scenario is she the one yelling, no matter what she thinks about him, or in what way she judges him, etc. Anger is anger, prejudice is prejudice. Acting on anger or prejudice is something different.

the catholic faith says that thinking of something sinful is the same as doing it. 

i never bought into that one, m'self.


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## LoveBHMS (Nov 26, 2007)

Jes said:


> in this scenario, he's still the one yelling insults at her from a car window. in neither scenario is she the one yelling, no matter what she thinks about him, or in what way she judges him, etc. Anger is anger, prejudice is prejudice. Acting on anger or prejudice is something different.
> 
> the catholic faith says that thinking of something sinful is the same as doing it.
> 
> i never bought into that one, m'self.



even though she didn't yell she came here and ranted about icky poor guy and spent the day talking to her friends and family about him.

My point was not about the yelling but rather about what TraciJo said about categorizing people. Of course the yelling was wrong, nobody said otherwise. But categorizing and prejudice happened here on both sides. All I was doing is pointing out a possible mindset that started all this. It's an interesting thing that Kate chose to focus on aspects of this man that she says make him her inferior rather than focusing on his behaviour. Nobody thinks these actions were anything but rude and uncalled for. But it's also uncalled for to highlight how some random Westie is 'so beneath you as to be insignificant.'


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## Jes (Nov 26, 2007)

fair enough. all i can say is that i had no problem whatsoever with her rant. she's not advocating that we all think as she did and she acknowledges it was 'heat of the moment' anger and impotence (my word!) that she felt. i've done it a katrillion* times, so i can hardly blame anyone else for it.




*not the actual number


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## TraciJo67 (Nov 26, 2007)

LoveBHMS said:


> Let's say this poor member of the unlucky sperm club was driving his crappy automobile to his low paying Sunday job. He's in a bad mood, he hates working weekends, hates that he can't affored nice things for his kids, wishes he'd had the good luck to be born into a better station in life. Maybe his job is mowing lawns in the luxury suburb or driving a taxi. Maybe what's running through his head is he's hoping and praying the old car holds out until his next payday so he can afford to fix it.
> 
> His route takes him by the upscale cafe where Kate has chosen to spend her Sunday eating pastry, surfing the web, and chatting about the election results. He sees a woman who has luxuries he does not have and he gets resentful. The resentment boils up inside him and he thinks about how angry he is at having to spend his day working instead of eating pastries. Kate embodies everything of which he is jealous and resentful---somebody who through nothing more than an accident of birth is enjoying a lovely restful weekend while he drives off to his awful lowly job in his awful lowly car. He has a road rage type of moment and just fires off at her because he knows he's driving away and wont' have to answer for it. He targets something easily identifiable about her, her size. And he figures she must be a c**t because he HATES people like her.
> 
> Maybe that's what happened.




I'd like to think that most people have a level of restraint that allows them to keep such evil thoughts in check. I know that you aren't suggesting that his behavior was OK, only that perhaps he categorized Kate in a similar fashion. But to do so at all (rather than just think it), far less in such a cowardly drive-by fashion ... I think that he deserved Kate's reaction. God knows, she didn't fling it back at him; she couldn't. 

Of course it isn't right to react with a classist "you're beneath me" attitude. But sometimes, when you're feeling hurt, it's all you have. I will admit that I have felt the same way at times, when I've been accosted. My immediate (defensive!) reaction is to categorize that person as somehow beneath me -- whether that be his/her socio-economic status, education level, intellect, lack of class, etc. The point that I think is missing here, though, is that this isn't how I generally feel about people. It is an extreme reaction to an extreme situation, when I'm caught off guard and my instincts are screaming that I can either fold and submit (yeah, I'm a worthless c**t) or make that person's opinion somehow not worthy of my consideration (who are you to judge me, Cletus?). That said, when I've had a chance to calm down and examine the situation with a bit more perspective (and a lot less hurt) I do understand that I shouldn't categorize people AT ALL, with exception to acknowledging that a particular behavior lacks class. What I was trying to say is that while it may not be the proper way to react, it is human. We all do it, to one extent or another.


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## Tooz (Nov 26, 2007)

LoveBHMS said:


> Let's say this poor member of the unlucky sperm club was driving his crappy automobile to his low paying Sunday job. He's in a bad mood, he hates working weekends, hates that he can't affored nice things for his kids, wishes he'd had the good luck to be born into a better station in life. Maybe his job is mowing lawns in the luxury suburb or driving a taxi. Maybe what's running through his head is he's hoping and praying the old car holds out until his next payday so he can afford to fix it.
> 
> His route takes him by the upscale cafe where Kate has chosen to spend her Sunday eating pastry, surfing the web, and chatting about the election results. He sees a woman who has luxuries he does not have and he gets resentful. The resentment boils up inside him and he thinks about how angry he is at having to spend his day working instead of eating pastries. Kate embodies everything of which he is jealous and resentful---somebody who through nothing more than an accident of birth is enjoying a lovely restful weekend while he drives off to his awful lowly job in his awful lowly car. He has a road rage type of moment and just fires off at her because he knows he's driving away and wont' have to answer for it. He targets something easily identifiable about her, her size. And he figures she must be a c**t because he HATES people like her.
> 
> Maybe that's what happened.



Jesus, are we SERIOUSLY JUSTIFYING what this guy did, now? Who CARES if he resents her? People above the age of five generally develop the skill of restraining bad behavior.

The OP has expressed remorse for what she said, as far as I can see. Can we stop sticking up for the idiot who verbally attacked her now? Thanks.


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## southernfa (Nov 26, 2007)

LoveBHMS said:


> Maybe once you've calmed down you can articulate the difference between some Westie (ewwww again, how DARE he be born in the wrong station in life.) insulting and judging *you* f



Hmmm, might help if we expand a little here; in Sydney and here in Auckland, a "Westie" is a very well-known term for a geo-socio-political stratum in society. As such it carries a whole lot of local connotations. It's not explicitly an insult, although hardly a compliment either though I have a few professional mates who are "Westie and proud of it". Heck, a locally-made TV drama based on westie culture just scooped all the local awards.

I certainly didn't assume she was being snobbish to describe the guy as a Westie but it did fill out his description in a single word. I could probably even pick the car make and model LOL.


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## Chimpi (Nov 26, 2007)

LoveBHMS said:


> Let's say this poor member of the unlucky sperm club was driving his crappy automobile to his low paying Sunday job. He's in a bad mood, he hates working weekends, hates that he can't affored nice things for his kids, wishes he'd had the good luck to be born into a better station in life. Maybe his job is mowing lawns in the luxury suburb or driving a taxi. Maybe what's running through his head is he's hoping and praying the old car holds out until his next payday so he can afford to fix it.
> 
> His route takes him by the upscale cafe where Kate has chosen to spend her Sunday eating pastry, surfing the web, and chatting about the election results. He sees a woman who has luxuries he does not have and he gets resentful. The resentment boils up inside him and he thinks about how angry he is at having to spend his day working instead of eating pastries. Kate embodies everything of which he is jealous and resentful---somebody who through nothing more than an accident of birth is enjoying a lovely restful weekend while he drives off to his awful lowly job in his awful lowly car. He has a road rage type of moment and just fires off at her because he knows he's driving away and wont' have to answer for it. He targets something easily identifiable about her, her size. And he figures she must be a c**t because he HATES people like her.
> 
> Maybe that's what happened.



Maybe he likes the car he drives. As said earlier, lots of Southerners "collect" old trucks as a hobby. Some of them fix them up.

Where I took less of a personal offense to "a disgusting old car", it touched me a little bit because up until June, I had an old Pontiac. Complete with rust spots, horrible mechanics, and dirty innards. Now I drive a nice, newer van. But, you're going on and on about this situation, and throwing some very sarcastic examples into the mix. Generally that does not help any situation out very much (that coming from someone that uses sarcasm in almost every sentence).

k1009 has some incredible posts under her belt, and I will not let any of this get in my personal opinion of her and her posts, or her attitude towards people with "disgusting old car" owners that work on Sunday's. Not to mention she apologized for offending anyone, and admitted to possibly being snobby and human. Let it go, LoveBHMS.

Though, looking at it from a different perspective, LoveBHMS might have gotten so upset and angry at what k1009 said that she now cannot get passed what happened and has to vent it out. *Shrugs* I should have never posted this post.


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## Shosh (Nov 26, 2007)

Hey,

When all else fails in trying to analyze this thread can I just say that we Aussies tend to shoot from the hip, namely we speak our mind first and ask questions later.
Look I hope that this does not deter Kate from posting ,because at the end of the day she comes here for support and to interact with likeminded people who are dealing with the same issues that she is.
If I was given a dollar for every time I have said something that was controversial, I would be Donald Trump mate.  Although I have been behaving myself of late.


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## t3h_n00b (Nov 26, 2007)

I've never been heckled for being fat since I've never been fat, but I have gotten heckled for being black in the "wrong" place. Just this summer, I got at least 3 drive-by n-words while walking down the streets. It's truly inexplicable, and the people who do it are those who feel so dis-empowered that they must inflate themselves to normal size by doing something they think will just ruin your day. When I got heckled, I though "what does this person expect to happen? Do they want me to cry, get angry, tap dance? WTF?" Then I realized how stupid these people are if they think that them saying a word (or group of words) while driving by will somehow repair the shortcomings of their own existences. They can only spread their smallness. As you try to analyze their thoughts and as you allow yourself to get angry and frustrated, you truncate yourself to their frame of reference. You, in effect, become their size and it's not worth it. Those people do not behave as full grown adults, they behave as children with no home training. I think that type of behavior is beneath me.

That said, there is something to be said for self-defense and self-preservation. I try to minimize stress as much as possible in my life, so the last 2 times I got heckled, I shouted back. It felt better. It wasn't so much defense as it was deflection. I didn't give myself the time to internalize that BS. These sorts of things are basically "put up or shut up". Either you will do something about it, or you need to just go on with the rest of your day. Why ruin a 24 hour period that was going well, with the memory of a 3 second utterance?


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## Jes (Nov 26, 2007)

noob, who is that in your avatar shot?


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## t3h_n00b (Nov 26, 2007)

Jes said:


> noob, who is that in your avatar shot?



That's me (seriously, it is)


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## Jes (Nov 26, 2007)

i feel giddy like a schoolgirl!

but seriously (though that was pretty serious, above), i'm sort of wondering how anyone would yell anything at you? ever? about anything. ever. 

you kinda look like you could kick my ass FROM THERE!


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## t3h_n00b (Nov 26, 2007)

Jes said:


> i feel giddy like a schoolgirl!
> 
> but seriously (though that was pretty serious, above), i'm sort of wondering how anyone would yell anything at you? ever? about anything. ever.
> 
> you kinda look like you could kick my ass FROM THERE!



Well, they would never get out of the car and yell it at me. I've pimp smacked people for lesser things before, and I'd do it again. Because I know they wouldn't want to slow down or get out and yell such things in my face man to man, I realize that I am the one in a position of power. In that regard, it's difficult to actually get too worked up about heckling.


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## Jes (Nov 26, 2007)

oh, well in that case, i'll start yelling shit at you as soon as I get outta work!


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## Surlysomething (Nov 26, 2007)

Just wow.

Someone comes here obviously hurt and then gets picked apart.


Great support, people! 

It's called lashing out, it's not like she said it back to him, she internalized it and then told her story here. She was hurt. It's kind of disgusting what this thread turned into, get over yourselves.


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## TraciJo67 (Nov 26, 2007)

Surlysomething said:


> Just wow.
> 
> Someone comes here obviously hurt and then gets picked apart.
> 
> ...



Surly, your avatar is rather fetching. Where did you get those awesome shoes?


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## Surlysomething (Nov 26, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> Surly, your avatar is rather fetching. Where did you get those awesome shoes?




I know! I'm too sexy!


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## Tooz (Nov 26, 2007)

Surlysomething said:


> Just wow.
> 
> Someone comes here obviously hurt and then gets picked apart.
> 
> ...



Rep finger's a' itchin', but I cannot rep!


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## Sweet (Nov 26, 2007)

I'm sorry some people can be real terrible. Your right though, he is headed for a miserable life.


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## Jes (Nov 26, 2007)

Sweet said:


> he is headed for a miserable life.



in his shitty car!

hahaha. I can't stop! i can't. I've tried! awww, crap. I blame the lady trouble! it's making me crazy in the head.

Noob? Can i tell people you're my new boyfriend? thanks!


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## RedVelvet (Nov 26, 2007)

CHRIST!

I'm a bitch sometimes, and I have been known certainly to nitpick, but that was just out of control....way to kick her when she is down, folks...way to fucking GO.


My favorites were the posts rationalizing his fucking behavior! Wow! What a liberal clusterfuck!


(and I am a liberal!)





Darlin...your reflective and natural anger was understandable. Your catagorizing of him was human nature...when pissed. And maybe it was, in some diminutive way, something akin to what he did to you. Maybe it WAS a little classist or elitist, or whateverthefuck.

Its easy for me to spot, given that I am an elitist snob, in spite of my best efforts to not be.

So fucking what?.....sorry folks......*small hypocrisies like this are part of the HUMAN FUCKING CONDITION*..she doesn't need a sensitivity training class at this point...really.....Bright girl, really.

You also didn't call him a knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing troglodyte (which is a classless term, I suppose, and what I would have said had I had a moment) you didn't say anything to him...you just came here. For support.

Real sorry you didn't get it.


Truly.


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## ripley (Nov 26, 2007)

I'm sorry that you're all up in arms about how this thread has turned out.


Maybe I take thing too much to heart, but I'm poor, and to tell you the truth, this whole thread feels like a big ol' pile of crap in my living room. But unlike a drive-by insult, I can respond to this one, and I choose to do so.

Even after the heat of the moment, in her "apology," she STILL admitted that she holds these classist, elitist, snobby views, and excuses them as "just the way me and my friends are."

Yes, she was hurt. I'm sorry for that...I've had the drive-by fat insult and it does sting. She has all my sympathy for that. 

But she will NOT get any support from me for the things she said that are wrong. I don't care if it's human nature to say things in the heat of the moment...she admitted later that she merely articulated views that she holds generally, every day.

Hatred is human nature. Murder is human nature. Ever bad thing we do to each other is human nature. It is no excuse. We should try our best to rise above.

Getting insulted, as a fat person, is no excuse to turn around and hurt others. So sorry, but you all can just suck it up and deal with it. This poor girl is going to drive her crappy car all right up in your crap and call you on it. Maybe even on a Sunday.


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## RedVelvet (Nov 26, 2007)

Oh my...you assume I am relatively wealthy. 

Also....You aren't at all sorry. You are earnest and often wounded...and I get it.

hmm....would saying that there have been times in my life where I have "skipped" meals..for days....and spent six month living in my car give me enough street cred to respond with empathy?

Hope so.

Now that I have said that..(I hit post too fast!) ...I get EVERYONE's perspective here....I really do. I think good points were made...what else can I say?

At the same time....I dunno....I guess some days even a bitchy hypocrite like me gets rather weary of all this sort of thing.

I have nothing against an insensitive rant.

Its funny...I happen to be reading the _Redneck Manifesto_ right at this very moment...which addresses classist issues such as this....especially as pertains to whites.

Complicated issue. 

I will say my dear friend Mossy wrote me a wonderful PM about this that utterly softened my perspective.

Same time...I am not going to retract anything. Sorry.


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## ripley (Nov 26, 2007)

No, I don't assume you're wealthy. And this has nothing to do with having "cred" to reply...it's my fervent hope that not only poor people can see that this attitude isn't right.

And wounded? No. Try pissed off. I'm gobsmacked that so many here just don't seem to _get it_.


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## RedVelvet (Nov 26, 2007)

Hmm.....its possible that people get it..but simply don't care.

I am not sure what's "worse".....


Ripley....your posts often sound more hurt than angry.....sorry to assume the wrong thing.


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## LoveBHMS (Nov 26, 2007)

Red-

I never rationalized the man's behaviour. What I said was that maybe he categorized (and I said this in reference to what TraciJo said about lashing out by categorizing an attacker) Kate FIRST which is why he insulted her.

Also, the OP got tons of support and everyone got that she was hurt.

However, after being on the receving end of a drive by insult, she came on here and, whether she intended to or not, made some comments that have clearly made Ripley feel *the same way Kate felt when it was done to her.* Kate's remarks hurt Ripley, an active Dims member, the same way that Westie's remarks hurt Kate.

Ripley said it perfectly that it would not be ok if the man had been black to say "some ****** insulted me" or if he'd been a Jew to say "some Kike called me fat." The OP's remarks about the man's car and upbringing were just as insulting to Ripley as his remarks were to a fat person.


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## ripley (Nov 26, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Hmm.....its possible that people get it..but simply don't care.
> 
> I am not sure what's "worse".....
> 
> ...



I'm a sensitive person. People often tell me that I feel things too deeply. Perhaps I should me more hardened, but so far it hasn't happened.

I try to be compassionate, and I don't think that's a bad thing. I don't think it's a bad thing to try to treat people well. I fail, often, but I still want to try.


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## RedVelvet (Nov 26, 2007)

Point taken, and well said, thank you.


Beyond that, I have nothing to say other than that I know of not a single person here who hasn't said something wildly inappropriate and insulting at some point. Maybe not HERE..but certainly...somewhere.


I have been told that there are a few here that think I am the "boyfriend stealing type"........(ALWAYS amusing)....for example.

There are other examples....but I wont list all my personal insults here.

So I am hoping that stones can remain stationary and glass houses can stay unbroken.




LoveBHMS said:


> Red-
> 
> I never rationalized the man's behaviour. What I said was that maybe he categorized (and I said this in reference to what TraciJo said about lashing out by categorizing an attacker) Kate FIRST which is why he insulted her.
> 
> ...


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## RedVelvet (Nov 26, 2007)

ripley said:


> I'm a sensitive person. People often tell me that I feel things too deeply. Perhaps I should me more hardened, but so far it hasn't happened.
> 
> I try to be compassionate, and I don't think that's a bad thing. I don't think it's a bad thing to try to treat people well. I fail, often, but I still want to try.




Are the options either too sensitive or "hardened"? Nothing in between?

If thats so....I would choose "sensitive" as well.


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## LoveBHMS (Nov 26, 2007)

> I have been told that there are a few here that think I am the "boyfriend stealing type"........(ALWAYS amusing)....for example.



Cause I'll need to lock mine up.


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## RedVelvet (Nov 26, 2007)

LoveBHMS said:


> Cause I'll need to lock mine up.




IM HERE TO EAT YOUR LUVAHS!!! ARRRRRR!!


Yes, thats right...I dislike myself so intensely that I would like to steal a man who would cheat on his partner....yeah..that makes sense.


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## TraciJo67 (Nov 26, 2007)

LoveBHMS said:


> Kate's remarks hurt Ripley, an active Dims member, the same way that Westie's remarks hurt Kate.



That's unfortunate, but Kate wasn't targeting Ripley. Her initial post had nothing to do with any of us. It seems to me that you have extrapolated a few things that Kate perhaps didn't mean. In any event though, NOBODY HERE WAS A TARGET. She was speaking generally, about an ignorant man who hurt her with a casually slung insult. I would have reacted in much the same way that she did. Honestly, I think that MOST OF US would have. And Kate does not own responsibility for how any of us reacted to her words. They weren't intended for us or about us.


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## ripley (Nov 26, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Are the options either too sensitive or "hardened"? Nothing in between?
> 
> If thats so....I would choose "sensitive" as well.



No, I didn't say that. There is a whole spectrum. I've tried to care less, but I haven't been able to so far, about some things. It's my own issue, and like everyone else and their own issues it will color things I post, and that's okay with me.


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## RedVelvet (Nov 26, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> That's unfortunate, but Kate wasn't targeting Ripley. Her initial post had nothing to do with any of us. It seems to me that you have extrapolated a few things that Kate perhaps didn't mean. In any event though, NOBODY HERE WAS A TARGET. She was speaking generally, about an ignorant man who hurt her with a casually slung insult. I would have reacted in much the same way that she did. Honestly, I think that MOST OF US would have. And Kate does not own responsibility for how any of us reacted to her words. They weren't intended for us or about us.





Oooh...thats a good point too!! I knew I was missing something....

I'm going to get a cup of tea and mull this over.

That DOES rather make a difference.....tho I realize that we now live in a world where even the indirect "insult" is considered a very Big Thing.


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## mossystate (Nov 26, 2007)

Slippery slopes abound...however...I do think that, if one wants to simply get ' support ', then they best keep their flourishes to a private blog ( or PM ), because, it is very difficult to muster empathy when a person spits towards a target..and you get slimed ( whether you are part of the ' group' targeted ). I hate that the words ' fat cunt ' were once again, spewed out into the air.....for people, in general.

How deep is the ugliness..?..only we know ourselves.

*TraciJo, you know I find you to be a rather delightful cunt, but, does not matter that none of us were her direct target.


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## ripley (Nov 26, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> That's unfortunate, but Kate wasn't targeting Ripley. Her initial post had nothing to do with any of us. It seems to me that you have extrapolated a few things that Kate perhaps didn't mean. In any event though, NOBODY HERE WAS A TARGET. She was speaking generally, about an ignorant man who hurt her with a casually slung insult. I would have reacted in much the same way that she did. Honestly, I think that MOST OF US would have. And Kate does not own responsibility for how any of us reacted to her words. They weren't intended for us or about us.



Just because NOBODY HERE WAS A TARGET and she didn't intend them for anyone here is beside the point. It happens a lot here that people see anti-fat stuff on other forums and report back here that they were offended and hurt. It wasn't specifically aimed at them, but it hits them nonetheless.


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## RedVelvet (Nov 26, 2007)

ripley said:


> No, I didn't say that. There is a whole spectrum. I've tried to care less, but I haven't been able to so far, about some things. It's my own issue, and like everyone else and their own issues it will color things I post, and that's okay with me.





Ok..but you chose "hardened" as the other option. In a way that seems to almost be a gentle dig at anyone who isn't sensitive in the way you are.


Cripes...see..I am nitpicking again. Total fucking hypocrite.


Also...I am just as sensitive as you are...even if it might manifest itself in a way thats different from you....


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## LoveBHMS (Nov 26, 2007)

> Yes, thats right...I dislike myself so intensely that I would like to steal a man who would cheat on his partner....yeah..that makes sense.



And that's a brilliant mindset by the way, awesome.




> That's unfortunate, but Kate wasn't targeting Ripley. Her initial post had nothing to do with any of us.



Traci, I get that. But Ripley _was_ hurt. If somebody uses a racial slur it's still going to insult any person of color. You can't really say "I was insulting this particular man for being born into a lower class and having an old car, but that does not mean I think ill of anyone else in those circumstances." If I used a racial slur towards one person, I'm a racist.


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## RedVelvet (Nov 26, 2007)

mossystate said:


> Slippery slopes abound...however...I do think that, if one wants to simply get ' support ', then they best keep their flourishes to a private blog ( or PM ), because, it is very difficult to muster empathy when a person spits towards a target..and you get slimed ( whether you are part of the ' group' targeted ). I hate that the words ' fat cunt ' were once again, spewed out into the air.....for people, in general.
> 
> How deep is the ugliness..?..only we know ourselves.
> 
> *TraciJo, you know I find you to be a rather delightful cunt, but, does not matter that none of us were her direct target.




Ok..so....Hurts is hurts..intended or not.


Do I have be nicer now? Can I please still have Pat Robertson?


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## ripley (Nov 26, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> Ok..but you chose "hardened" as the other option. In a way that seems to almost be a gentle dig at anyone who isn't sensitive in the way you are.
> 
> 
> Cripes...see..I am nitpicking again. Total fucking hypocrite.
> ...



No, I didn't give "options" at all. I said perhaps I should be more hardened. (It wasn't an either/or thing.) I really kinda wish I was. I don't think I'm better for being so (overly?) sensitive; in fact I wish I wasn't. It's brought me nothing but ill.


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## RedVelvet (Nov 26, 2007)

ripley said:


> No, I didn't give "options" at all. I said perhaps I should be more hardened. (It wasn't an either/or thing.) I really kinda wish I was. I don't think I'm better for being so (overly?) sensitive; in fact I wish I wasn't. It's brought me nothing but ill.



I guess my reading comprehension isn't what it could be.


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## RedVelvet (Nov 26, 2007)

I still really want to be insulting to Pat Robertson, ok?

Any diamond mine owning uber-insane hyper-hypocritical pseudo Christians who might be here reading this here and are feeling insulted...(well...good)... and want to kick my arse can meet me behind the 7-11.


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## liz (di-va) (Nov 26, 2007)

I think if we're gonna keep talking about this "issue," it should be separated from the OP's posting. No one person's individual situation could bear this much scrutiny, whatever POV they are espousing. It's a lot easier--and more loaded--to talk about this with regards to a specific example, not generally, but I still think it might be better. As it is...what "conclusion" can we reach? It's this woman's life, only, not anybody else's.

I say this _because_ I am one of the people who was made very uncomfortable by the OP. I have nothing but sympathy for how much it sucks to be yelled at like that--hit and runs are the worst--but I don't believe that that gives anybody the right to cast judgement on somebody, in a generalizing way. I've been (unfortunately) yelled at that way by many jerks, but it's happened as often in yuppie wealthy neighborhoods as it did by homeless folk. Even if that weren't true...what's the point? True empowerment and peace doesn't come from putting others down, finding ways to feel 'better' than somebody else.

One time this homeless guy came up to me at a gas station and asked for money and when I said no, yelled, "Dial 1-976-JENNY, bitch!" Which, I'm sorry to say, made me laugh hysterically, the mood I was in, but later, people were like: "Yeah, and who was *he* to talk!" As if: he was a scruffy homeless guy, you win! Which I totally didn't get. He was just a guy, and _thought_ he had found a way to lash out at me that proved how *he* was better (he wasn't fat, I was), and I know it wasn't true. It was just sad, and kinda hilarious (yeah, I'm fat--so the fuck what? If I had been sitting on the ground with my face in a chocolate cake even--who cares? So what? It's my fucking life.) It didn't have to do with me, in the end. Would it had made it any better to turn around and think the the same way about him? Or with the 9,000 frat boys who've yelled 'fat bitch' at me in my life?

This is all stuff people have already said; which is why I don't think we're gonna reach consensus here. Perhaps some of the confusion comes because people read this POV as not fighting back, which is totally different imho. I believe wholeheartedly in FIGHTING BACK if you want to, taking on jerks like this (who don't give you a chance to because they cowardly drive away) when you can, but that's a different animal. I definitely understand the urge too to lash out, too, but I think that's different.

Anyhow now I've contradicted myself and talked about all this here. So...I'll be quiet now.


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## Surlysomething (Nov 26, 2007)

seriously mind-boggling


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 26, 2007)

Probably foolish of me to respond but......I will try to remain "neutral" though that can be quite hard to do......

I drive a shitty car, am the single mother of three children that gets little help from Dad, my mother was a waitress from the Jersey shore, my father a meat cutter originally from the Great Smoky mountains, I'm fat, married my FIRST time as a teen and was married to an alcoholic the second go around. Before my latest job, I cleaned houses, by choice but still, for three years. I pretty much qualify as "white trash" on the surface. I wasn't offended...... I might have thought the same of that guy when angry. 

Oh, and instead of getting angry about it for five hours, I would have considered reacting in a typical white trash manner and flipping that asswipe off (sans sitting in a crowded restaurant and children present- THEN I would have to be nice  ) and moving on. 








How sweet it is to be free........
















OF COURSE I'm kidding :batting:


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## Violet_Beauregard (Nov 26, 2007)

O-M-G... I SO agree with you. Jesus... I can't believe how badly this has been picked apart. This poor girl wants to vent and needs support and she gets treated like SHE was the one who did something wrong. Unbelieveable.

This has become the #1 reason why I have NO intention of discussing anything TRULY personal on these boards EVER AGAIN. I have enough shit in my life as it is... I sure as hell don't need it here too. Damn.....

To the OP... Kate... I can't tell you how incredibly sorry I am that you've had to put up with all this. If you need to vent without the grief, feel free to PM me...seriously. 




Surlysomething said:


> seriously mind-boggling


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## Violet_Beauregard (Nov 26, 2007)

LOLOL... There you go... THAT'S what I like... someone with a sense of humor!! Bravo GEF.... I love it!! 





Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Probably foolish of me to respond but......I will try to remain "neutral" though that can be quite hard to do......
> 
> I drive a shitty car, am the single mother of three children that gets little help from Dad, my mother was a waitress from the Jersey shore, my father a meat cutter originally from the Great Smoky mountains, I'm fat, married my FIRST time as a teen and was married to an alcoholic the second go around. Before my latest job, I cleaned houses, by choice but still, for three years. I pretty much qualify as "white trash" on the surface. I wasn't offended...... I might have thought the same of that guy when angry.
> 
> ...


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## Tina (Nov 26, 2007)

ripley said:


> No, I don't assume you're wealthy. And this has nothing to do with having "cred" to reply...it's my fervent hope that not only poor people can see that this attitude isn't right.
> 
> And wounded? No. Try pissed off. I'm gobsmacked that so many here just don't seem to _get it_.



I think pretty much all of us see it as not being right, and it's frustrating that if people don't completely agree with you then "so many" don't get it. Thing is, we get it, but we also get that she said something rashly because she was hurt, and piling on isn't going to help anything. That classism is wrong is not the only point being made here, though. And yeah, most of us get it, too. No one is asking you to accept anything, but we all have our own rights to our opinions, too. Even those who might be classist. Do I agree with classism? Well, as someone who grew up in a blue collar family, and had a blue collar husband, of course not. But you're not going to change the views that you would most like to change, and so that is what the Ignore button is for, because, let's face it, you and the OP will likely never see eye-to-eye on this.

And really, aren't we ALL sensitive, when it comes to things that we're, well, sensitive about?


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## ripley (Nov 26, 2007)

I never asked for, nor expected "complete agreement." 

I am not "piling on." 

I am expressing my opinion. Why is it that whenever there are dissenting opinions, it's called a "pile on"?


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## Tina (Nov 26, 2007)

ripley said:


> I never asked for, nor expected "complete agreement."
> 
> I am not "piling on."
> 
> I am expressing my opinion. Why is it that whenever there are dissenting opinions, it's called a "pile on"?


Is it me, or whenever I make a statement these days, it just seems like you react as if I said you in particular are doing it. The only statement directly to you was the one about complete agreement. Your words "so many" are not accurate. Most in this thread actually seem to agree that it was a classist assessment and uncalled for. But there has also been some sympathy for what happened to her. Because others can see both sides of this, you say that "so many don't seem to get it." You claim you are not personalizing things, and yet, you seem to be (and piling on takes more than one person, anyway), and pile ons are claimed by both sides of any argument. Maybe it's the endless



that makes it seem like a pile on. She apologized many posts ago. Also the fact that there seemed to be more anger at her than understanding or empathy. 

I guess then, I need to ask, what would "getting it" look like to you, since you claim that so many don't? This is a real question here, not some kind of snark.


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## ripley (Nov 26, 2007)

Tina said:


> Is it me, or whenever I make a statement these days, it just seems like you react as if I said you in particular are doing it. The only statement directly to you was the one about complete agreement. Your words "so many" are not accurate. Most in this thread actually seem to agree that it was a classist assessment and uncalled for. But there has also been some sympathy for what happened to her. Because others can see both sides of this, you say that "so many don't seem to get it." You claim you are not personalizing things, and yet, you seem to be (and piling on takes more than one person, anyway), and pile ons are claimed by both sides of any argument. Maybe it's the endless
> 
> 
> 
> ...



You quoted me and wrote a paragraph. I'm sorry if I assumed the whole paragraph was directed at me and not just the one line.

It might be beating a dead horse to you, but this is a discussion board and I'm discussing. I'm not exactly sure why that seems to be a bad thing?

Getting it to me would be understanding that words hurt...whether it is "fat cunt" or snobby, classist statements.


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## Fascinita (Nov 26, 2007)

xoxoshelby said:


> It's wonderful that you can feel that way. I however, and I'm sure many others, can't just take the good and leave the bad. I would hold on to that for awhile. Just the way I am, nothing I can do about it. I can say it doesn't bother me, but why lie to myself?
> I'm sure I would have had much of the same reaction as the OP, does that make me a horrible person? If so, sorry. Again, just the way I am.



Nah, you're OK by me. Everyone's entitled to feel crappy when something like this happens. I was trying to let the OP know that it's possible not to feel too upset by it, trying to illustrate another way of dealing with it. Posted in a positive spirit and with friendly intentions all the way.


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## Tina (Nov 26, 2007)

Shelby, growing a thicker skin is often a process. I don't think anyone is giving you a hard time for being sensitive. We're all sensitive in our own way.


ripley said:


> It might be beating a dead horse to you, but this is a discussion board and I'm discussing. I'm not exactly sure why that seems to be a bad thing?


Because you are basically accusing most of the posters on this thread of not getting it. Further, it's insulting to say that you hope that people who are not poor would be able to see it's wrong, as if, one, not being poor would make a person blind to a poor person's plight, and two it's kind of also implicitly accusing those who are not poor of not being able to see it's not right.

For the record, I'm on disability and have been for years. Any poorer, or without the safety net I have, I would be on the street. I really effing get it. So do many others who have been lumped in with the seeming obtuse ones.


> Getting it to me would be understanding that words hurt...whether it is "fat cunt" or snobby, classist statements.


Again, implicit accusation that [edit, sorry] those who don't agree cannot see that words can [/edit] hurt, even if it's not words about being fat.

Maybe you're not seeing how your words are somewhat condescending and accusatory towards those who do not roundly and 100% condemn the OP, or who are able to see both sides without calling her a "snob."


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## mossystate (Nov 26, 2007)

YOU CAN ALL SUCK MY COCK, MOTHERFUCKERS



*ete.....edited to erase..oh...yeah..I am bad..


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## Surlysomething (Nov 26, 2007)

Bahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!


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## Tina (Nov 26, 2007)

As long as you don't expect me to swallow, Monique. Mucous and all that rot...


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## RedVelvet (Nov 26, 2007)

BOO YA!~

Better said than I , as usual.





Tina said:


> Because you are basically accusing most of the posters on this thread of not getting it. Further, it's insulting to say that you hope that people who are not poor would be able to see it's wrong, as if, one, not being poor would make a person blind to a poor person's plight, and two it's kind of also implicitly accusing those who are not poor of not being able to see it's not right.
> 
> ........
> 
> Maybe you're not seeing how your words are somewhat condescending and accusatory towards those who do not roundly and 100% condemn the OP, or who are able to see both sides without calling her a "snob."


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## RedVelvet (Nov 26, 2007)

mossystate said:


> YOU CAN ALL SUCK MY COCK, MOTHERFUCKERS
> 
> 
> 
> this was done on a bet, and really has little to do with this thread..the person daring me should now be happy...heh...and..no..I am not drunk





AWWWWWEEEESOMEE!!!!!


Wait..


Shite...I lost.


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## ripley (Nov 26, 2007)

Tina said:


> Shelby, growing a thicker skin is often a process. I don't think anyone is giving you a hard time for being sensitive. We're all sensitive in our own way.
> 
> Because you are basically accusing most of the posters on this thread of not getting it. Further, it's insulting to say that you hope that people who are not poor would be able to see it's wrong, as if, one, not being poor would make a person blind to a poor person's plight, and two it's kind of also implicitly accusing those who are not poor of not being able to see it's not right.
> 
> ...



Guess you told me.


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## Santaclear (Nov 26, 2007)

Personally I consider any single post by Ripley a one woman pile-on. :batting: 

That said, I do kinda agree with her, not that I found it hurtful but that she does have a point about the original poster's words about the guy. I don't think we all have to agree or that this thread has to only be about supporting the O.P. but pointing out that the O.P.'s words were kinda the pot calling the kettle black is fair game.


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## mossystate (Nov 26, 2007)

dingdingdingdingding

now, really, suck it


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## Santaclear (Nov 26, 2007)

you first ....


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## Tina (Nov 27, 2007)

ripley said:


> Guess you told me.


Nope. Just gave my opinion. 


Santaclear said:


> That said, I do kinda agree with her, not that I found it hurtful but that she does have a point about the original poster's words about the guy.


As most of us do, Santa. I don't think that was ever really in question. Eve the OP said she regretted her words.

Monique. Please post a pic of this thing you keep telling us to suck. I like to see what I'm, er, taking on first.


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## RedVelvet (Nov 27, 2007)

cock pics.


Its over now.



(I hear hers tilts to the left..)


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## Tina (Nov 27, 2007)

BWAH!!! That's not what I was hoping for.  I did know a guy who pointed straight up, even when it was... bored. Was hoping for something unusual, like that.


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## southernfa (Nov 27, 2007)

k1009 said:


> Again, I'm really sorry if I offended anyone. I don't mean to sound like a snob and I'll probably feel terrible about it once I get over being so angry.



I've found this thread quite fascinating and having carefully re-read what you said am at a loss to find what it was you said that was offensive.

The guys was a "Westie" - fact (well sort of). He drove an old heap - fact. His behaviour was unjustified and appalling - fact. You felt superior to him - fact.

Did you feel superior to him just because he was a Westie? No. Just because he drove an old wreck? No. Just because he was behaved vilely? No. From what you have said, it was a combination of all those factors that made you brand him a "loser". 

And guess what, it was an accurate assessment. Walks like a duck, quacks like a duck... If he had kept his mouth shut he would have just have been a westie driving an old car. Ignoring the time-honoured dictum "better to remain a silent fool, than open your mouth and remove all doubt"; he revealed his true and grungy colours. No one made him do it and he is judged by his actions. Tough.

Were you superior to him in that time and place? Frankly single-cell life forms were superior to him then and there. Would you have been superior if you had responded in kind? Seems self-contradictory to me.
Would you have been even more superior to have had the self-confidence to accept that his inadequacies are completely irrelevant to your worth and his sharing them with you was no more than bad luck? In my book, yes. Meek and mild is not cowardice.

Being an ex-"Southie", I was even poorer once, did the solo-parent thing and had a car that was so bad than when I left it unlocked on the street for a week with the keys in the ignition, nobody would even steal it even in South Auckland. LOL There's no shame in social status unless you chose to believe it.


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## elle camino (Nov 27, 2007)

holy crap you guys. 
you know how there's been all that kaffufle lately about some jerk taking pictures from this board and posting them in his yahoo group? and the general consensus is: if you don't want your pictures seen by anyone who might be on the internet, you shouldn't post your pictures at all?
ok.
so.
this is basically the same principle. 

meaning that if you honestly don't want your topic discussed on the internet, DON'T POST YOUR TOPIC ON A DISCUSSION FORUM ON THE INTERNET. 

i'm not at all saying that that's how the OP of this thread feels (since she seems pretty calm and ok about people having different opinions about what happened - it's some of the rest of you who are really flipping your wigs about it). i'm just saying, for the record: the same thing applies here. 


sheesh.


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## Frankie (Nov 27, 2007)

Turn on your PMs, little girl - Rick James wants to send you his nasty, nasty love.



ripley said:


> snip snip snip


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## k1009 (Nov 27, 2007)

elle camino said:


> holy crap you guys.
> you know how there's been all that kaffufle lately about some jerk taking pictures from this board and posting them in his yahoo group? and the general consensus is: if you don't want your pictures seen by anyone who might be on the internet, you shouldn't post your pictures at all?
> ok.
> so.
> ...



Well, yeah. I made a mistake and the reaction to my mistake was civilised and polite (there was a little anger but that's to be expected). Like I said to someone in another thread this is a pretty nice place, the fail macros are few and the term douchebag is reserved for picture thieves and political miscreants. I'm ok with what's happening here, sure a few of the posts are hurtful but I probably hurt a few posters. You give a little, you get a little.

I think Southernfa said it best when he described how I felt about the westie. Had I seen someone working on a sunday and driving a shitty car I would have thought nothing of it. Recent student here, really, it wasn't like 90210 with shrimps on the barbie, there were nights of cask wine and two minute noodle dinners. It wasn't his financial status made me think he was beneath me - every spare dollar I have I spend on travel and entertainment, if I actually owned a car, even a junk heap, the cost of running it would see me living in my wreck - rather the way he spoke and the words he chose. This gave me licence to hate him for the joy he'd obviously taken in treating me badly. I think a lot of people react like that, although admitting it is limited to those of us who think before acting.

And to close, remember I'm 24, life hasn't had a chance to treat me badly yet. My worst experiences to date? Falling into a mercifully clean squat toilet three times in a row (hint, jewelled sandals though lovely do not belong in Laos, ever) and being called a fat c***. Honestly, that's it. At some point I'll go through rough times and when someone younger and more spoilt than I am says something classist I'll feel bad about it. Circle of life.

Now continue with the cock.


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## Santaclear (Nov 27, 2007)

mossystate said:


> dingdingdingdingding
> 
> now, really, suck it



OK. :eat2:

Hey, wait, is this some kind of trick?


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## Jes (Nov 27, 2007)

k1009 said:


> And to close, remember I'm 24, life hasn't had a chance to treat me badly yet. My worst experiences to date? Falling into a mercifully clean squat toilet three times in a row (hint, jewelled sandals though lovely do not belong in Laos, ever) and being called a fat c***. Honestly, that's it. At some point I'll go through rough times and when someone younger and more spoilt than I am says something classist I'll feel bad about it. Circle of life.
> 
> .



I find you refreshing and delightful.


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## TraciJo67 (Nov 27, 2007)

k1009 said:


> And to close, remember I'm 24, life hasn't had a chance to treat me badly yet. My worst experiences to date? Falling into a mercifully clean squat toilet three times in a row (hint, jewelled sandals though lovely do not belong in Laos, ever) and being called a fat c***. Honestly, that's it. At some point I'll go through rough times and when someone younger and more spoilt than I am says something classist I'll feel bad about it. Circle of life.
> 
> Now continue with the cock.



Kate, I assumed that you were young, given that you are a student (and yeah, I know that this isn't always a safe assumption). I also assumed that you aren't the Queen of Sheba, or Paris Hilton's twin sister.

We all work for a living, have mortgages or rent to worry about, bills to pay, lives to plan. The only real distinguishing factors between those of us on the lower end of the socio-economic scale, and those of us defined as 'middle' or 'upper middle' is, perhaps, the amount of toys that we own. I don't concern myself with what someone a few rungs above or below me may think about my lifestyle; I assume the same about everyone else. I'm honestly surprised at the reactions that you've gotten here. It isn't as if you're an entitled, jewelry-dripping, lapdog-carrying member of the Hollywood elite. To me, had you been, your remarks would have carried an entirely different connotation. 

And the people who were hurt or offended by what you said ... I wish that I could take them to India and show them what true poverty is all about. It's an eye-opening experience on a truly humbling, life-changing level.


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## TraciJo67 (Nov 27, 2007)

mossystate said:


> *TraciJo, you know I find you to be a rather delightful cunt, but, does not matter that none of us were her direct target.



Mossy, if I weren't so busy laughing at this, I'd be utterly, utterly offended. You twattering twat.


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## Violet_Beauregard (Nov 27, 2007)

I agree. 



Jes said:


> I find you refreshing and delightful.


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## Ruby Ripples (Nov 27, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> Kate, I assumed that you were young, given that you are a student (and yeah, I know that this isn't always a safe assumption). I also assumed that you aren't the Queen of Sheba, or Paris Hilton's twin sister.
> 
> We all work for a living, have mortgages or rent to worry about, bills to pay, lives to plan. The only real distinguishing factors between those of us on the lower end of the socio-economic scale, and those of us defined as 'middle' or 'upper middle' is, perhaps, the amount of toys that we own. I don't concern myself with what someone a few rungs above or below me may think about my lifestyle; I assume the same about everyone else. I'm honestly surprised at the reactions that you've gotten here. It isn't as if you're an entitled, jewelry-dripping, lapdog-carrying member of the Hollywood elite. To me, had you been, your remarks would have carried an entirely different connotation.
> 
> And the people who were hurt or offended by what you said ... I wish that I could take them to India and show them what true poverty is all about. It's an eye-opening experience on a truly humbling, life-changing level.



You assume "they" haven't been to India or seen such poverty already...


I am not trying to keep things going here truly, but I had to post because I think Ripley was treated badly on this thread and I felt guilty for not saying anything sooner, after my initial post. I don't believe she was keeping anything going, merely responding to criticism that was aimed at those who said the OPs post was snobbish, and she refused to back down, so she kept posting in response to further criticism. I also don't think the OP was piled on, or that she didnt receive support. I believe almost every single person here DID sympathise with her experience and she received a great deal of supportive comments, so I must admit the "OH MY GOD you poor poor thing, accept my apologies for how you've been half murdered here when you came for help" posts, irritated me somewhat. (yes, slight exaggeration, I know.). I also see that that OP is cool about it all now. 

We are none of us going to change our stance or opinion, so I can't see this going anywhere from here. 

Im just grateful that I havent been publicly shouted at in such a rude manner by a complete stranger, and I hope it never happens.


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## k1009 (Nov 27, 2007)

Ruby Ripples said:


> You assume "they" haven't been to India or seen such poverty already...
> 
> 
> I am not trying to keep things going here truly, but I had to post because I think Ripley was treated badly on this thread and I felt guilty for not saying anything sooner, after my initial post. I don't believe she was keeping anything going, merely responding to criticism that was aimed at those who said the OPs post was snobbish, and she refused to back down, so she kept posting in response to further criticism. I also don't think the OP was piled on, or that she didnt receive support. I believe almost every single person here DID sympathise with her experience and she received a great deal of supportive comments, so I must admit the "OH MY GOD you poor poor thing, accept my apologies for how you've been half murdered here when you came for help" posts, irritated me somewhat. (yes, slight exaggeration, I know.). I also see that that OP is cool about it all now.
> ...



Just for the record I haven't backed down. I said what I said and at the time I meant it. I admit to westie prejudice, no point in denying it now. 

Let's not have my transgressions forgotten and me elevated to the status of working class hero.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 27, 2007)

mossystate said:


> YOU CAN ALL SUCK MY COCK, MOTHERFUCKERS
> 
> 
> 
> *ete.....edited to erase..oh...yeah..*I am bad*..




So hot, too.......:wubu::smitten:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 27, 2007)

mossystate said:


> dingdingdingdingding
> 
> now, really, suck it




Show it to me first.....................


















Gawd, you bring out the trashy side of me :eat2::bow:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 27, 2007)

RedVelvet said:


> cock pics.
> 
> 
> Its over now.
> ...





*swoons and passes out in the backseat of my shitty car*


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 27, 2007)

Tina said:


> BWAH!!! That's not what I was hoping for.  I did know a guy who pointed straight up, even when it was... bored. Was hoping for something unusual, like that.




I don't hope for unusual....I just hope for average...or bigger...........and enduring.....ooooppppsssssss there I go again :doh::blush:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 27, 2007)

southernfa said:


> I've found this thread quite fascinating and having carefully re-read what you said am at a loss to find what it was you said that was offensive.
> 
> The guys was a "Westie" - fact (well sort of). He drove an old heap - fact. His behaviour was unjustified and appalling - fact. You felt superior to him - fact.
> 
> ...



You know, on some level, I agree with you. Why? Because I fully believe that it's our ACTIONS that define us more than our monetary status....


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## Grandi Floras (Nov 27, 2007)

Sure sounds like a LO-OOSER, to me.

I am glad that it didn't get you down, and continuing to think about it is your way of dealing with his nonsense. 

There is nothing wrong with you, that so-called man is a puttzz!


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 27, 2007)

k1009 said:


> snip....
> 
> Now continue with the cock.



Hells yeah......YOU'RE MY KIND OF GAL BAYBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!


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## k1009 (Nov 27, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Hells yeah......YOU'RE MY KIND OF GAL BAYBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!



You know what they say about fat girls... we do love the cock. The sooner mcdonalds introduces the McCockBurger the sooner it will quadruple its profits and rule the world. And now I want a big mac, does it need to be said that I want the cock? That's me, more ass than class.


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## Violet_Beauregard (Nov 27, 2007)

LOLOLOL... Priceless!!! Bravo to you for letting this all go and having a GREAT sense of humor!!! 




k1009 said:


> You know what they say about fat girls... we do love the cock. The sooner mcdonalds introduces the McCockBurger the sooner it will quadruple its profits and rule the world. And now I want a big mac, does it need to be said that I want the cock? That's me, more ass than class.


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## k1009 (Nov 27, 2007)

Violet_Beauregard said:


> LOLOLOL... Priceless!!! Bravo to you for letting this all go and having a GREAT sense of humor!!!



I let my icon frown and massacre for me :batting:.


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## James (Nov 27, 2007)

LoveBHMS said:


> I did not mean to belittle how rude this man was. Of course it was rude and uncalled for.
> 
> However if a fat person does a horrible thing, it's not any more or less horrible because they're fat. Let's say a fat guy mugs an old lady for her purse; it's horrible because some guy stole money from somebody. But what if the victim said "Oh it was horrible. This FAT GUY came up and took my money. A FAT person! Can you believe it? He probably needed the money to buy food because all fat people do is sit around stuffing themselves with junk. I can't believe he had the energy to even run away with my purse because all fat people are gross lazy slobs."
> 
> This man's actions were rude and objectionable, his "station in life" or job or income or upbringing or car are not.



Give her a break though... I mean, if someone drove past me and insulted me for something then the thing that would irritate me the most would be not having the chance to express some kind of response back. I'd probably want to tell someone what an asshole I thought the drive-by idiot was... and I think that its the same here, the OP just wanted to vent to feel better. Maybe a judgement about social status isnt necessary but at least her doing so here isnt upsetting the drive-by man as he did her.


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## Jes (Nov 27, 2007)

k1009 said:


> You know what they say about fat girls... we do love the cock. The sooner mcdonalds introduces the McCockBurger the sooner it will quadruple its profits and rule the world. And now I want a big mac, does it need to be said that I want the cock? That's me, more ass than class.


you're like an australian elle camino!


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 27, 2007)

TraciJo67 said:


> what true poverty is all about.




Ain't that the truth and whole heart of the matter, TraciJo? I try to never complain about my shitty car....because I'm happy to have a paid for vehicle. I might not always like what I can afford to eat- but I have eaten almost every day of my life....and it shows  
I always have had a place to sleep, my children are healthy and love me, my mind and will are strong (cracked but still strong  ) , I can walk, talk, think, hear and see. I don't see how I have much to complain about......


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## k1009 (Nov 27, 2007)

Jes said:


> you're like an australian elle camino!



There's a reference here I'm not getting :doh:. I'll go with good, where's the bad in a double mccockburger with fries?


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 27, 2007)

k1009 said:


> You know what they say about fat girls... we do love the cock. The sooner mcdonalds introduces the McCockBurger the sooner it will quadruple its profits and rule the world. And now I want a big mac, does it need to be said that I want the cock? That's me, more ass than class.





LOLOLOLOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL @more ass than class

Holy Gawd.....would you mind if I put that as my sig? please please please? :bow: :bow:

Oh, and I have had my fair share of ......"big macs" already


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## TraciJo67 (Nov 27, 2007)

Ruby Ripples said:


> You assume "they" haven't been to India or seen such poverty already...



I make no such assumptions, Ruby. That would make an ass out of me and ... umption  I should have been more careful in how I worded it. The experience changed *my* life. Up until the point when I saw hordes of small children with big, round, hopeful eyes and starvation-distended bellies clamoring for small change & scraps of food ... adults with dead eyes squatting in the middle of the street to relieve themselves ... unimaginable filth & the stench of unwashed bodies (and worse) ... I never truly appreciated what I have. I am obscenely wealthy by these standards, because I never have to worry about a warm, dry place to sleep or where my next meal might come from. This is also the point in which I understood that the real class structure, on a global level, makes what *I* have spent my life yearning for seem appallingly shallow and selfish. I don't worry about the proverbial 'keeping up with the Joneses' anymore. And frankly, not a day goes by that I'm not in some way reminded and haunted by what I saw, and how overwhelmingly entitled and helpless it made me feel.

It has also made it very difficult for me to identify with people who have warm beds and satisfying food to put in their tummies ... and I readily acknowledge that this is *my* issue, and not very fair of me.


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## k1009 (Nov 27, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> LOLOLOLOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL @more ass than class
> 
> Holy Gawd.....would you mind if I put that as my sig? please please please? :bow: :bow:
> 
> Oh, and I have had my fair share of ......"big macs" already



You mean it's not a well known saying there?  Cultural differences... next thing you'll be telling me you don't put beetroot and fried eggs on your hamburgers. And feel free to use it as a sig, it's definitely not an original (although if there were fewer Aussies here I wouldn't be above claiming it as my own :bow.

On the subject of sigs, I feel this thread would provide ample material to take my sig virginity.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 27, 2007)

k1009 said:


> You mean it's not a well known saying there?  Cultural differences... next thing you'll be telling me you don't put beetroot and fried eggs on your hamburgers. And feel free to use it as a sig, it's definitely not an original (although if there were fewer Aussies here I wouldn't be above claiming it as my own :bow.
> 
> On the subject of sigs, I feel this thread would provide ample material to take my sig virginity.




Thanks  

and it might be a common saying here...but not one that I have heard


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## Shosh (Nov 28, 2007)

k1009 said:


> You mean it's not a well known saying there?  Cultural differences... next thing you'll be telling me you don't put beetroot and fried eggs on your hamburgers. And feel free to use it as a sig, it's definitely not an original (although if there were fewer Aussies here I wouldn't be above claiming it as my own :bow.
> 
> On the subject of sigs, I feel this thread would provide ample material to take my sig virginity.



Mate get some beetroot and fried eggs down ya Gregory Peck ( Neck)!!!


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## Shosh (Nov 29, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Probably foolish of me to respond but......I will try to remain "neutral" though that can be quite hard to do......
> 
> I drive a shitty car, am the single mother of three children that gets little help from Dad, my mother was a waitress from the Jersey shore, my father a meat cutter originally from the Great Smoky mountains, I'm fat, married my FIRST time as a teen and was married to an alcoholic the second go around. Before my latest job, I cleaned houses, by choice but still, for three years. I pretty much qualify as "white trash" on the surface. I wasn't offended...... I might have thought the same of that guy when angry.
> 
> ...


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