# Do you feel a private BBW sub-forum is necessary and why?



## Tina (Jul 15, 2009)

There was a lot of talk of a private sub-forum in the thread that proposed Dimensions adding a BBW board. This board is protected, and people are able to discuss here, but do you feel that the extra step of having a private board to discuss issues should be taken? If so, why?


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## William (Jul 15, 2009)

I voted no because I think that this Forum should just be made private, so that people do not have to decide where to post messages, it would also remove posts from this board from showing when people push the "New Posts" button. Many people may feel they are not suppose to post here, so making the posts here invisible would let them see more posts from forums they feel they can post in when they push the "New Repy" Button. This point is even more true if the volume of posts here increases.

What ever does not need to be private can be posted on the Main Board because unlike the BHM/FFA messages there was never a need to segregate talk about BBWs.

William


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## Shosh (Jul 15, 2009)

As BBW's we sometimes have issues that are very sensitive in nature, that having a private forum would help to be able to facilitate discussion amongst other women, other BBW's.
Just as super sized women have a private forum, I think it would be appropriate for BBW's to have one also.


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## Jes (Jul 15, 2009)

The precedent has already been established that a private board can, and should, exist in some instances and with some conditions (SSBBW, Clubhouse). Just because a woman does not weigh over a certain number on the scale does not mean that she does not sometimes have the same needs for privacy, community and support. Right now, SSBBW and Clubhouse members can choose which topics and posts they would like to keep private, and which they would like to have viewed by a larger group. In other words, they can choose their audience as they see fit. 

I imagine both groups would tell you it's a nice option to have.


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## Miss Vickie (Jul 15, 2009)

I voted yes because as Jes pointed out, it would be nice to be able to choose our audience. There are many things which can be discussed publicly, which would likely be useful to women stumbling on the site. OTOH, it would be nice to have a more private space to discuss issues things that we don't want available for public consumption.


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## Carrie (Jul 15, 2009)

I voted yes, for the same eloquently expressed reasons as Susannah, Jes and Vickie.


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## OneWickedAngel (Jul 15, 2009)

Yes, there should be one. For all of the reason given above. I'm still incredibly surprised that this debate is STILL going on.


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## BothGunsBlazing (Jul 15, 2009)

Yeah, there should be a private BBW forum. Without it being that way, I think it's going to be the same discussion over and over and I don't really think people will feel comfortable speaking their minds completely until it's private.


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## ashmamma84 (Jul 15, 2009)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Yeah, there should be a private BBW forum. Without it being that way, I think it's going to be the same discussion over and over and I don't really think people will feel comfortable speaking their minds completely until it's private.



Word for word.


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## Weeze (Jul 15, 2009)

William said:


> What ever does not need to be private can be posted on the Main Board because unlike the BHM/FFA messages there was never a need to segregate talk about BBWs.
> 
> William



Oh boy. you just discredited everything else you just said in the post.

Oh, and i agree there should be a private one. Like i've said before, there are certain... things... that I want to talk about but to be honest, i think a lot of us talk to people on here that we're... interested... in that we don't necessarily want to know that we're having problem-x for fear of being seen as "Gross" or dumb. 

One concern I have that i've voiced before... How do you decide who's in and who's out?


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## thatgirl08 (Jul 15, 2009)

I agree with all the women who've responded.. yesyesyes.


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## William (Jul 15, 2009)

Hi

I also think that there should be a private BBW Forum, I do not think that this present forum should be visible if it is only for BBWs (I am not sure of the rules here).

The differences in this and the BHM/FFA forum creation is that the BBWs asked for a separate forum and the BHM/FFAs needed one because their messages were not appropriate for the Main Board, things are a lot better now. Still the BHM/FFA Forum is open to anyone and many non-FFA BBWs and non-BHMs Men post there.

William



krismiss said:


> Oh boy. you just discredited everything else you just said in the post.
> 
> Oh, and i agree there should be a private one. Like i've said before, there are certain... things... that I want to talk about but to be honest, i think a lot of us talk to people on here that we're... interested... in that we don't necessarily want to know that we're having problem-x for fear of being seen as "Gross" or dumb.
> 
> One concern I have that i've voiced before... How do you decide who's in and who's out?


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## Tina (Jul 15, 2009)

William, you can be sure of the rules by reading them. They are at the top of the board.

We're just gathering info right now, though there is no plan for a private board at this time, and looking at the possible future, down the road.


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## Sugar (Jul 15, 2009)

I think there is a real need for the privacy. 

I was a member of the SSBBW and I was pretty sad when I was removed because I was not fat enough. Since that time I've kept the majority of my views quiet because I don't feel comfortable knowing that there could be some inconsiderate person who treats my trials and lessons being fat as a turn on.


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## mossystate (Jul 15, 2009)

William said:


> Hi
> 
> I also think that there should be a private BBW Forum, I do not think that this present forum should be visible if it is only for BBWs (I am not sure of the rules here).
> 
> ...




William, I don't think this forum should be private just because you are angry. You are allowed to post on this forum, IF what you have to say follows the rules. Just ignore the forum. It is rare I click on certain boards on Dimensions.......you can do you the same.

----

I am certainly fine with a private sub-forum, ifit is kept for only the most sensitive of topics, and does not turn into general chat about pets or kids...etc.. It would be a huge asset to fat women.

Let's just pull the trigger and stop making more of a mess. Pleeeeeeease.


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## William (Jul 15, 2009)

I know there needs to be a private area, anyone who has been around Fat Acceptance knows that some creepy guys will get off on inappropriate subject matter. 

I do not think that it was made clear who this present forum was for because the male traffic here has been very light. I use the "New Post" Button so I get all the forums.

William




mossystate said:


> William, I don't think this forum should be private just because you are angry. You are allowed to post on this forum, IF what you have to say follows the rules. Just ignore the forum. It is rare I click on certain boards on Dimensions.......you can do you the same.
> 
> ----
> 
> ...


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## Tina (Jul 15, 2009)

William it is made clear to those who read. Look up, at the top of the main BBW forum board, for the thread that says: "Welcome to the BBW Board! This is a must-read."

Please go read it and educate yourself about this board. No one should have to do it for you.


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## Surlysomething (Jul 15, 2009)

I agree with the lovely BBW's that have posted before me.

Yes!


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## Surlysomething (Jul 15, 2009)

William said:


> I know there needs to be a private area, anyone who has been around Fat Acceptance knows that some creepy guys will get off on inappropriate subject matter.
> 
> I do not think that it was made clear who this present forum was for because the male traffic here has been very light. I use the "New Post" Button so I get all the forums.
> 
> William




Why are you posting here at all? Or have you changed sexes and we don't know it?


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## Tina (Jul 15, 2009)

All of the info about who can post here, and the guidelines, is in the thread I directed William to. He is allowed to post here, as are all non-BBW, as long as the rules are followed.


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## BubbleButtBabe (Jul 15, 2009)

I voted yes because as the other ladies have stated there are some subject that do not need to be in the public eye..I for one really do not want men to be able to open a thread about things only women should discuss to get their rocks off...If the men had a private sub-forum I wouldn't object because there are somethings about a male body I don't wanna know anything about!!


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## BubbleButtBabe (Jul 15, 2009)

William said:


> I voted no because I think that this Forum should just be made private, so that people do not have to decide where to post messages, it would also remove posts from this board from showing when people push the "New Posts" button. Many people may feel they are not suppose to post here, so making the posts here invisible would let them see more posts from forums they feel they can post in when they push the "New Repy" Button. This point is even more true if the volume of posts here increases.
> 
> What ever does not need to be private can be posted on the Main Board because unlike the BHM/FFA messages there was never a need to segregate talk about BBWs.
> 
> William




I see you are back to stirring the shit pot once again....I still wanna know what you are getting out of this..

I really do not see where it says "many people feel they are not suppose to post here." From reading the heading on the forum plus the rules that were posted,as long as you follow the rules of the forum you are allowed to post..


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## Surlysomething (Jul 15, 2009)

Tina said:


> All of the info about who can post here, and the guidelines, is in the thread I directed William to. He is allowed to post here, as are all non-BBW, as long as the rules are followed.




I was teasing. 

Does anyone have a sense of humour around here? :doh:


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## Tina (Jul 15, 2009)

Normally, yes. But I'm really not feeling well today and so my read is off.


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## exile in thighville (Jul 15, 2009)

nope. no explanation necessary.


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## mossystate (Jul 15, 2009)

The only people this concerns are bbw. 

Polls are not always a good idea when the issue is really one that should be decided by Conrad, and the mods for this board. 


If a sub-forum is created, no woman has to use it. There would be no penalty, and there would be no ulterior motives. Those who would be using it would be women who need it. Those who cannot see it... no skin off their nose. The bulk of discussion would still be happening on the main forum...the stuff that benefits all. Fact is, there are health concerns that are experienced by fat women ( women in general, but certainly things can become a bit more of an adventure when one is not small ) that need a private place, and the ear and help of those who have similar experiences.

Nothing against that groovy OP (  ), but, this seems like a non-issue.


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## bexy (Jul 15, 2009)

Can't say I mind either way. I don't feel the need for one, but would be happy to use one if it was made. I worry about too many sub forums and boards and things though, but not enough to object or anything.


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## ashmamma84 (Jul 15, 2009)

mossystate said:


> *The only people this concerns are bbw*.
> 
> Polls are not always a good idea when the issue is really one that should be decided by Conrad, and the mods for this board.
> 
> ...



Word.

to yo' mama!


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## kayrae (Jul 15, 2009)

Voted yes.

There's a potential to start a dialogue and create a resource for issues that women are uncomfortable discussing around men or lurkers. There are numerous posts and threads on Dimensions where women are inappropriately objectified when serious concerns are raised. 

I'm not against body admiration. I've contributed to various picture threads and sex discussions; however, there are already existing forums that are open to that kind of frivolous fun. The private backroom is necessary to those of us that still have quite a way to go in developing healthy self-esteem in regards to our fat bodies. Quite frankly, since joining Dimensions, my sense of self-worth has drastically changed for the better. Yet I still have body issues that I'm self-conscious about. And no amount of discourse, at this time, will allow me to fully express my concerns. To my knowledge, anyone can register on this site. So while I do appreciate that the BBW forum is a "protected" space, I cannot express my issues where hundreds of lurkers can read it.

It's true that Conrad created Dimensions for FAs. But the fat women are also here now. And if Dimensions want to nurture fat positivity, I don't see how creating a private BBW forum contradicts this website's stance on size-positivity.

Also, Mossy, I think Tina started this thread to allow those of us who want the private backroom a chance to make a strong argument for it.


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## Sandie S-R (Jul 15, 2009)

On this answer, I can't separate my being a BBW/SSBBW with my being a moderator - so you get 2 perspectives for the price of one. 

In my opinion, the SSBBW forum has been very successful. The women who post there are always thanking us for the space to speak candidly about things they could never speak of publicly. I think the BBWs would be equally grateful for such a space. I know that in the original thread on the Main board where this was first discussed - most of the women voiced a desire for something private as opposed to protected. Protected, while nice up to a point, still does not give them the privacy needed to discuss certain subject matter. 

I'm all for a private BBW forum. A.S.A.P. My 2 cents - or 4 cents as the case may be.


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## olwen (Jul 15, 2009)

William said:


> Hi
> 
> I just did not see any guys posting here and assume that they were prohibited.
> 
> ...



William, if you'd bothered to read any of the ongoing threads you'd see that a few men have posted in this forum.


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## William (Jul 15, 2009)

Hi Olwen

With all the talk in the previous threads about the need to separate the BBWs from the Fat Admires it was reasonable to think that this forum was for female only. A BBW Topic only forum that is readable by the public like this one would only provide even more wank material for those who get off that way, so a private area would be needed. For the record I as the first guy who posted here, there was no other guy posts to read 

William




olwen said:


> William, if you'd bothered to read any of the ongoing threads you'd see that a few men have posted in this forum.


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## Tina (Jul 15, 2009)

Noted, though not confirmed. In any case, this is going off topic, so let's just let it lie here, shall we? The rules are not the same here as on most of the other boards, and we value on-topic.


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## mossystate (Jul 15, 2009)

kayrae said:


> Also, Mossy, I think Tina started this thread to allow those of us who want the private backroom a chance to make a strong argument for it.



I understand that. The discussion is great...it's the poll thing that, in this case, is kind of pointless. Anybody can vote...anybody. The talking is vunderful.



William said:


> > With all the talk in the previous threads about the need to separate the BBWs from the Fat Admires it was reasonable to think that this forum was for female only.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## Punkin1024 (Jul 15, 2009)

As many other ladies have expressed, there are some sensitive subjects that I would not want to discuss in an open forum. 

Thanks for even considering letting us have a private forum.


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## Fascinita (Jul 15, 2009)

I would support the idea of a private *sub-forum*, but I believe the BBW Forum as it stands now needs to remain public.

The BBW Forum we have now works as a protected board where BBW of all sizes are able to meet and mingle publicly. There is a lot that can and should be talked about publicly, so that we all (including those who are new here and those who are not comfortable posting), can benefit from learning about each other as fat women. This forum not only provides needed space and visibility for BBW-specific issues, regardless of size, but it helps fat women explore their commonalities and differences in a *context of the larger Dims community*. As well, I think it will be beneficial for us as fat girls to hold discussions that the rest of the community can participate in and witness.

A new, private sub-forum would be a wonderful addition to this forum as it exists now, for the simple reason that many smaller BBWs have expressed a desire to have a private place to talk about private topics.

NOTE to WILLIAM: That's just, like, your opinion, man.


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## JerseyGirl07093 (Jul 15, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> I would support the idea of a private *sub-forum*, but I believe the BBW Forum as it stands now needs to remain public.
> 
> The BBW Forum we have now works as a protected board where BBW of all sizes are able to meet and mingle publicly. There is a lot that can and should be talked about publicly--so that we all (including those who are new here and those who are not comfortable posting), can benefit from learning about each other as fat women. This forum not only provides needed space and visibility for BBW-specific issues, regardless of size, but it helps fat women explore their commonalities and differences in a *context of the larger Dims community*. As well, I think it will be beneficial for us as fat girls to hold discussions that the rest of the community can participate in and witness.
> 
> ...



Why bother writing something myself when others can say it so much better?  My vote is yes to a private forum, for all the reasons the other ladies have already stated.


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## StarWitness (Jul 16, 2009)

krismiss said:


> One concern I have that i've voiced before... How do you decide who's in and who's out?



Heidi Klum will decide for us.

Seriously, though, that's something I've been wondering. How people are included/excluded would have a pretty strong effect on my opinion.


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## Observer (Jul 16, 2009)

The FA forum has had an option for a private sub-forum from the beginning; there just hasn't been any real interest in activating it so we haven't done it.

The proponents of this forum followed our example in building in the option. Since there is obviously a degree of of active interest remsining (the purpose as I understand it of the poll) I think the sub-forum option should be exercised. 

By the way, in addition to the Clubhouse the Dimension's Writer's Guild has its private forum as well. Adding private foums is very simple with the VB software; the question is simply one of utilization.


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## William (Jul 16, 2009)

Hi Mossy

With all the talk about this being a protected area I expected more security or selected membership rights to post. In reality this forum is no different than any of the other forums that show up when I press the "New Reply" Button. That was my primary concern.

I 100% agree that BBWs need a private area somewhere, especially in a environment like Dimensions.

William




mossystate said:


> William said:
> 
> 
> > Now you know that men are allowed on this forum...so, no more tangled messes...right?
> ...


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## Miss Vickie (Jul 16, 2009)

William, if you wonder why other guys aren't posting here, and you feel that the area should or at you expected it to have "more scrutiny", then why are you posting here? How does a private BBW forum affect you, to the point where you continue to post in this thread? I don't get it. Just because men are "allowed" to post here doesn't mean that you should be derailing conversations that we're having about the future of this board -- a board that ultimately shouldn't affect you.

Just because it shows up when "new posts" are hit, doesn't mean you have to post here, does it?

As for the topic at hand, like I said, I'd love a private space. I appreciate Sandie's remarks on that topic, and I appreciate Tina getting the ball rolling with a poll. 

Clearly, this is needed. Clearly.


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 16, 2009)

Since anyone can post here, I'm going to and keep it both respectful and on-topic. I'm sure there will be a lot of eye rolls, but I don't care.

I think (I, FFA, Fetishist, Dims poster of somewhat long standing) that a private BBW forum is going to be like having a charter/magnet school in the public school system. In other words, such a forum and the conversations and threads in such a forum have the potential to siphon off the best and the brightest, both in posts and in posters.

There are people, and conversations, who make Dims what it is. Whether anyone likes it or not, there are queen bees here, (and i mean queen bee in a positive way as far as those women being leaders and figureheads of Dims) and there are people who have some stature and generally liked and respected by all. The more private and sub-forums there are, the more certain leaders and high profile women who are genuinely the backbone of Dims will disappear or post less on the Main Board.


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## William (Jul 16, 2009)

Hi Vickie

I only posted here because I thought I would forever have my "New Repies" list filled up with posts that could not repy to. Now I know that the talk of this being a "protected Forum" is more ceremonial than real controls to block non-BBWs. 

I continue to post hear because people ask questions, most not as nice as yours  I answered BubbleButtBabe post with a civil response that someone decided needed to be deleted even though it was much nicer than the post I was responding to that is still posted.

When I do use the "New Repy" I am looking for either threads that I have posted on or threads I want and can post on, but my questions on the matter have been answered.

William







Miss Vickie said:


> William, if you wonder why other guys aren't posting here, and you feel that the area should or at you expected it to have "more scrutiny", then why are you posting here? How does a private BBW forum affect you, to the point where you continue to post in this thread? I don't get it. Just because men are "allowed" to post here doesn't mean that you should be derailing conversations that we're having about the future of this board -- a board that ultimately shouldn't affect you.
> 
> Just because it shows up when "new posts" are hit, doesn't mean you have to post here, does it?
> 
> ...


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## exile in thighville (Jul 16, 2009)

mossystate said:


> The only people this concerns are bbw.



yes, i agree with this. but it's a public poll and "bbw" were consulted when the fa forum was brought up. from this standpoint it's totally insecure and superfluous.


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## JoyJoy (Jul 16, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> yes, i agree with this. but it's a public poll and "bbw" were consulted when the fa forum was brought up. from this standpoint it's totally insecure and superfluous.


And we can always count on you to chime in and point out the flaws. Thanks for not letting us down!


I voted yes. The SSBBW private forum has worked and been invaluable to those who post there. No reason a BBW private forum couldn't be just as successful and valuable.


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## BubbleButtBabe (Jul 16, 2009)

LoveBHMS said:


> Since anyone can post here, I'm going to and keep it both respectful and on-topic. I'm sure there will be a lot of eye rolls, but I don't care.
> 
> I think (I, FFA, Fetishist, Dims poster of somewhat long standing) that a private BBW forum is going to be like having a charter/magnet school in the public school system. In other words, such a forum and the conversations and threads in such a forum have the potential to siphon off the best and the brightest, both in posts and in posters.
> 
> There are people, and conversations, who make Dims what it is. Whether anyone likes it or not, there are queen bees here, (and i mean queen bee in a positive way as far as those women being leaders and figureheads of Dims) and there are people who have some stature and generally liked and respected by all. The more private and sub-forums there are, the more certain leaders and high profile women who are genuinely the backbone of Dims will disappear or post less on the Main Board.



I personally see a sub-forum being more about private delicate issues and not so much to siphon off people from posting else where..I really do not want to discuss in public some of the problems I am having with my body and I absolutely do not want someone answering me in public about how they solved the problem,because it could set them up for trolls...I really do not want anyone embarrassed by discussing some very delicate issues...


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## exile in thighville (Jul 16, 2009)

JoyJoy said:


> And we can always count on you to chime in and point out the flaws. Thanks for not letting us down!
> 
> 
> I voted yes. The SSBBW private forum has worked and been invaluable to those who post there. No reason a BBW private forum couldn't be just as successful and valuable.



successful and valuable in what way that would be distinguishable from the two other forums dedicated to the same pursuit here?


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## JoyJoy (Jul 16, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> successful and valuable in what way that would be distinguishable from the two other forums dedicated to the same pursuit here?


Successful and valuable in ways that obviously escape you, most likely because:

a) You've got a penis. 
b) You're not fat. 

There could be other reasons, but I won't speculate further. Suffice it to say that it's not really for you to understand, since the existence of such a forum would not involve you.


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## exile in thighville (Jul 16, 2009)

JoyJoy said:


> Successful and valuable in ways that obviously escape you, most likely because:
> 
> a) You've got a penis.
> b) You're not fat.
> ...



dick cheney everybody


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## JoyJoy (Jul 16, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> dick cheney everybody


Oohh..you're soooo cute! Makes me just want to pinch your widdle cheeks!


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 16, 2009)

JoyJoy said:


> Successful and valuable in ways that obviously escape you, most likely because:
> 
> a) You've got a penis.
> b) You're not fat.
> ...



I disagree. Exile is a longstanding Dimmer and an obvious hardcore FA who has made many contributions here. He is as entitled to have input about the direction of this community as is anyone.

These issues affect Dims as a whole, and thus I think he's entitled to have input. As he said, when the FA/FFA board was created, everyone had input. Also there is plenty of posting on the BHM board by people who are not FFA or BHM, and more than plenty of posting on the Erotic Weight Gain board by non-fetishists. That is just how it is.


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## JoyJoy (Jul 16, 2009)

LoveBHMS said:


> I disagree. Exile is a longstanding Dimmer and an obvious hardcore FA who has made many contributions here. He is as entitled to have input about the direction of this community as is anyone.
> 
> These issues affect Dims as a whole, and thus I think he's entitled to have input. As he said, when the FA/FFA board was created, everyone had input. Also there is plenty of posting on the BHM board by people who are not FFA or BHM, and more than plenty of posting on the Erotic Weight Gain board by non-fetishists. That is just how it is.


I never said he wasn't entitled to input...just that he likely wouldn't understand the value of it, and that it's not really for him to understand, since the forum wouldn't be FOR him, or involve him. He can rant about why he thinks it's not important or useful all he wants to, but it's rather pointless for these reasons.


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## exile in thighville (Jul 16, 2009)

i'm not entitled to shit actually - it's the mods' decision - but it perpetuates the widespread notion of another bbw forum as another ME TOO forum if those in favor are too smug to argue the why


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## JoyJoy (Jul 16, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> i'm not entitled to shit actually - it's the mods' decision - but it perpetuates the widespread notion of another bbw forum as another ME TOO forum if those in favor are too smug to argue the why


The "why" has been argued for months in other threads. Also many of the reasons that were presented for the SSBBW forum would apply to a BBW forum as well. If you have a burning desire to understand why, read those threads. It's not smugness, it's not seeing a reason to rehash what has been stated numerous times.


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## exile in thighville (Jul 16, 2009)

well what's the point of this thread?


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## Surlysomething (Jul 16, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> well what's the point of this thread?




I don't understand why it's SO HARD to understand that BBW's would like a private area to talk about our BBW issues. I don't think you have to be a brain surgeon to figure that out. 

Seriously? We want to talk about health issues that no one but BBW's deal with and our own ways around these things. We don't want men to be a part of it. Men don't accompany women to their gynecological appointments to critique the doctor on their Pap smear techniques. Why do you all want to know about these things? What's the big deal? Is it because it bothers you to be excluded from something? You don't go through these issues so you don't need to be a part of it. Can someone please make a diagram or something to explain it better. Apparently it's just one of those, you have something and because I can't have it now I don't want anyone to have it situations. It's pretty lame.

IF and i'm saying if here, you wanted to be in a private forum somewhere because you want to talk about your testicles, why would I want to be a part of that seeing I don't have any?

We are not SSBBW's so we are not allowed to be a part of that private area. We want our own private area.

Again. No. Brainer.

No. Brainer.

I personally think you're here just to stir the pot. Lame.


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## kayrae (Jul 16, 2009)

I'm not jealous that the SSBBWs have their space. I'm glad they have a valuable resource where they know that lurkers and men can't read about it. It's too bad I can't access it, but I understand their need for privacy. I have never been an SSBBW. I don't know what kinds of issues they have. I actually have only personally met one SSBBW in my life. I'm not too sure if she'll want to ask me any questions that affect her since I'm not going through the same issues. I'm glad that she has a space where she can ask other women about her body issues.



exile in thighville said:


> i'm not entitled to shit actually - it's the mods' decision - but it perpetuates the widespread notion of another bbw forum as another ME TOO forum if those in favor are too smug to argue the why



Of course this is a ME TOO forum.

Do I want a private forum where I can discuss being sexually abused?
ME TOO

Do I want a private forum where I can talk about bodily functions that I'm too embarrassed to bring up where men and lurkers can read it?
ME TOO

If you feel as an FA that the current FA/FFA forum is not enough for you, that you need a private place to discuss FA issues that you're too uncomfortable to post in your protected space... well, uh... ask for one. You can also have a ME TOO forum. Otherwise this is starting to sound like sour grapes on your part.


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## James (Jul 16, 2009)

Perhaps the issue here is that the thread debating the potential private BBW board is being discussed within the BBW forum and is thus subject to BBW “no negativity” rules? This makes non-BBW contributions in this thread subject to a burden of scrutiny that did not occur for the precedent discussion regarding a potential FA board on the main forum (whereby non-FA input was not subject to the same kind of rules).

When the FA board was discussed, many BBWs voiced a strong objection to the notion of its creation. These included some of those that have since advocated successfully for the BBW forum. Many were even more vociferous in their complaint when the subject of a private area for FAs was raised. Like the BBW board proposal, the FA board proposal was for a *public, yet protected* forum. This was what Conrad agreed to in both cases. In both proposals, reference is made to potentially considering a private space as a subsequent addition to the requested forums. A further proposal was not submitted to Conrad asking for a private FA space because there was very little momentum for such a thing once posters realized that they are actually protected from their views being trashed when they posted on the FA forum. 

However, the more I think about the two proposals and the two forums, the more it seems clear to me that whilst there are a lot of similarities in the public areas of the FA and BBW boards, the potential private ones are actually quite different. If a private FA board is proposed then it has no gender bias. The focus would be uniquely relevant to being an FA (male or female).

In my opinion, the proposal for a private BBW board ostensibly reads like a request for a private women’s board that is patterned after the SSBBW board in terms of access criteria (sans minimum weight limit) and whose rationale is quite similar to that of the SSBBW board (_discussion of BBW-only issues which many of the female members of the community are uncomfortable discussing “in front of” the general population of the Dimensions Community_” [from the BBW board proposal] ).

For the record (and for whatever its worth) I wholeheartedly support the open and protected BBW forum. I think that building community in a positive way is a great thing and will ultimately strengthen us all. Sometimes we do need to be able to express our experiences publicly in order to foster an &#8216;I’m ok. You’re ok. We’re ok’ state of mind. 

I suspect the deeper question here is whether privacy would lead to a greater degree of the above state of mind or would it lead to &#8216;I’m unhappy with being fat. You’re unhappy with being fat. We’re all unhappy with being fat.” instead? Personally I don’t think it would, but I can imagine that this is what people might be concerned about?


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## JoyJoy (Jul 16, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> well what's the point of this thread?


And also, the point of this thread is...well, that Tina saw a need to start one with a poll. Enough said. The fact that lengthy threads exist discussing this and you're in here expecting people to explain their reasons more completely does show that you are here just to be contrary, as Surly said, and don't really want an answer to your questions.




James said:


> I suspect the deeper question here is that would privacy lead to a greater degree of the above state of mind or would it lead to Im unhappy with being fat. Youre unhappy with being fat. Were all unhappy with being fat. Personally I dont think it would, but I can imagine that this is what people might be concerned about?



I don't understand where this notion might come from. Being unhappy with being fat hasn't come up in the discussion of why the privacy is desired, has it? It hasn't been a problem with the SSBBW forum, so I can't imagine it would be an issue on a BBW forum. 

I just don't understand why non-BBW would be upset at allowing BBW a private place to share things. It's not taking anything away from anyone else, because the things that would be posted there are things that don't and likely wouldn't exist as things are, so those who aren't on the private forum wouldn't miss them to begin with.


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## Tina (Jul 16, 2009)

Observer said:


> The proponents of this forum followed our example in building in the option. Since there is obviously a degree of of active interest remsining (the purpose as I understand it of the poll) I think the sub-forum option should be exercised.
> 
> By the way, in addition to the Clubhouse the Dimension's Writer's Guild has its private forum as well. Adding private foums is very simple with the VB software; the question is simply one of utilization.


This thread's only purpose was to gauge interest. There are no plans to actually make a private forum at this point, as this board is new and we need to see how it goes here for a while first before a private one could be considered. So this is all theory for now.


LoveBHMS said:


> I think (I, FFA, Fetishist, Dims poster of somewhat long standing) that a private BBW forum is going to be like having a charter/magnet school in the public school system. In other words, such a forum and the conversations and threads in such a forum have the potential to siphon off the best and the brightest, both in posts and in posters.


I disagree. It has not happened with the SSBBW board and would not happen with a sub-forum of this one, were it to be created.


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## BubbleButtBabe (Jul 16, 2009)

Surlysomething said:


> I don't understand why it's SO HARD to understand that BBW's would like a private area to talk about our BBW issues. I don't think you have to be a brain surgeon to figure that out.
> 
> Seriously? We want to talk about health issues that no one but BBW's deal with and our own ways around these things. We don't want men to be a part of it. Men don't accompany women to their gynecological appointments to critique the doctor on their Pap smear techniques. Why do you all want to know about these things? What's the big deal? Is it because it bothers you to be excluded from something? You don't go through these issues so you don't need to be a part of it. Can someone please make a diagram or something to explain it better. Apparently it's just one of those, you have something and because I can't have it now I don't want anyone to have it situations. It's pretty lame.
> 
> ...



Exactly..It's to stir controversy where there really is none..


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## mossystate (Jul 16, 2009)

JoyJoy said:


> > I don't understand where this notion might come from. Being unhappy with being fat hasn't come up in the discussion of why the privacy is desired, has it? It hasn't been a problem with the SSBBW forum, so I can't imagine it would be an issue on a BBW forum.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## exile in thighville (Jul 16, 2009)

was it stirring the pot when people jumped down the throat of a private fa forum? was that controversy? have only bbws been sexually abused?

really anyone who mistakes criticism for controversy shouldn't be on a discussion forum, because they've clearly never had a discussion before.


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 16, 2009)

Tina said:


> This thread's only purpose was to gauge interest. There are no plans to actually make a private forum at this point, as this board is new and we need to see how it goes here for a while first before a private one could be considered. So this is all theory for now.
> 
> I disagree. *It has not happened with the SSBBW board and would not happen with a sub-forum of this one, were it to be created*.



A private women only forum consists of a far greater groups of Dimmers than just the SSBBW forum. As i recall from what has been said publically, its creation created a lot of problems within the community insofar as who was and was not allowed in. 

Beyond that, since nobody knows what that forum consists of, I'm not seeing how you can gauge how it has or has not affected the Board at large. As far as what would be discussed in a private BBW forum, can't see how anyone can tell *now* what it would consist of or how it would affect the Board. 

I don't believe a private BBW board _could_ wind up consisting only of health matters, which is why I said I believe it would pull away many posters and valuable posts/discussions from the community at large. There have also been a fair number of public discussions about health issues affecting BBW ranging from inserting a tampon to shaving pubic hair which have occured on the public boards without issue.


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## Surlysomething (Jul 16, 2009)




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## exile in thighville (Jul 16, 2009)

the difference is, i'm not gonna be angry about the inevitable private bbw forum, where the protestors of the fa forum were positively freaked


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## kayrae (Jul 16, 2009)

The protected FA forum already exists. There is no current discussion for a private FA forum. Yes, men have also been sexually abused... but as it happens, only this sexually abused woman has asked for a private forum to discuss that specific topic. 



exile in thighville said:


> was it stirring the pot when people jumped down the throat of a private fa forum? was that controversy? have only bbws been sexually abused?
> 
> really anyone who mistakes criticism for controversy shouldn't be on a discussion forum, because they've clearly never had a discussion before.


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## kayrae (Jul 16, 2009)

Glad to hear other women are comfortable about discussing those issues in the health forum. I am not. Also, I am not comfortable posting about fat-related health issues that men and lurkers will read.

As for your concern re: topics not being only about health issues... well, I can't guarantee anything. I am not a mod. However, I trust that Conrad and the mods will moderate that.



LoveBHMS said:


> A private women only forum consists of a far greater groups of Dimmers than just the SSBBW forum. As i recall from what has been said publically, its creation created a lot of problems within the community insofar as who was and was not allowed in.
> 
> Beyond that, since nobody knows what that forum consists of, I'm not seeing how you can gauge how it has or has not affected the Board at large. As far as what would be discussed in a private BBW forum, can't see how anyone can tell *now* what it would consist of or how it would affect the Board.
> 
> I don't believe a private BBW board _could_ wind up consisting only of health matters, which is why I said I believe it would pull away many posters and valuable posts/discussions from the community at large. *There have also been a fair number of public discussions about health issues affecting BBW ranging from inserting a tampon to shaving pubic hair which have occured on the public boards without issue*.


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## thatgirl08 (Jul 16, 2009)

Can someone just write a proposal and let Conrad/mods decide?


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jul 16, 2009)

There should be a private bbw board and there should be a private mens board....not FA's but FA's and bhm's. Women need a place to discuss being a woman and men need a place to duscuss being a man....I guess, lol.

All this bickering back and forth just seems....a bit jr high.


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## mossystate (Jul 16, 2009)

I know that I...meeeeeee...was ' freaked ' over talk of a private fat admirer forum, since, without a similar forum for fat women, it was a completely unfair and damaging proposition. I know that I was gunning for a protected, not private, forum for fat women. Now, how many fat women freaked when there was talk of a potential private sub-forum for fat admirers. I am pretty sure I did not freak. 

As for the diluting discussions...the same can be said for those fa's who are feeling comfy on their forum. Might also want to tap into the billions of lurkers. Why do fat women have to hold up the world of discussion. At least we now know how important we are out here. I see supersized women all over these damned boards...can't walk a foot without seeing them....pests.

Also, LoveBHMS...the proposal is for a bbw sub-forum...not a women only sub-forum.


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## Tina (Jul 16, 2009)

This thread is closed. We have enough feedback at this point, and this thread gone way off topic. To those who want to argue the existence of this board and possibly a private one, do it elsewhere. That is not the purpose of this thread or board.


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