# An Observation I wanted to Pass On



## BigElectricKat (Jul 14, 2017)

As I’ve continued on my journey of discovery into the FA realm, I’ve had the fortune of being able to incorporate it into my everyday life, including my work. Part of what I do involves observing people through various high-tech surveillance devices. And since I work on a very large medical campus that includes several hospitals, a university medical school, nursing and pharmacy colleges, as well as various other related entities, I see thousands of people each day (so no, I’m not a mall security guard). One thing that I’ve come to firmly believe is that everybody notices and acknowledges the beauty of a big gal.

Now, this may not come as a surprise or shock to some of you. Perhaps you’ve known this for years yet others may not have known this at all. Either way, what I’ve observed over the course of the last few years leads me to believe that, while some people may be catty and respond in a negative manner, secretly those people are jealous in some way. Yes, there are those who have a preference and are admirers and even a fetishists. And of course, you have people who could care less either way. But everybody and I mean EVERYBODY who encounters a big honey takes notice.

From my secret lair (okay, it’s not a lair and it’s not really a secret) somewhere on the medical campus, I am tasked to monitor, diagnose, repair, install, and maintain various alarms and access controls to include over 800 CCTV cameras. Now, I’m not sitting here ogling women all day but I do periodically check to see that everything is okay in certain high traffic areas throughout the day. Though I’d be lying if I said I didn’t take notice of a nicely dressed gal every now and then (especially if she’s a BBW). But my main focus is looking at faces and I’ve noticed something that many people may not want others to know.

Men, and I mean dang near every guy whether straight, gay, transgender, skinny, fit, husky, or whatever will check out a big girl (especially if they think no one notices them doing it). Even a guy who outwardly is not attracted to fat will catch a glimpse or outright stare at a big girl as she walks by or if he walks behind her. There’s something about the way a nice bountiful booty swishes and sways as she walks that’s almost hypnotizing to a guy, even one who professes to only want a “fit” (what does that mean anyway) gal. They can’t help but look at a bursting bosom and cavernous cleavage. We are just wired that way (and don’t ever let some dude tell you that he doesn’t look because I have video proof!).

But the big revelation was that women do the same thing but for different reasons (as least I would think some of the reasons may be different). I do notice that if a woman is with other women, they’ll maybe make a face or whisper and giggle behind a BBW’s back (and sometimes to their face). But I’ve noticed that often, thinner women will actually look or stare and have a look of jealousy or envy seeing a large and lovely lady walking by. It’s the darnedest thing! The real kicker is watching them watch a guy who is looking at a BBW! That’s when the silent fireworks really begin!

So in closing, I just want the ladies here to know that even when others are whispering and giving you disapproving looks or making catty comments, they are probably secretly a little envious of your obvious gifts.
:bow:


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## fuelingfire (Jul 14, 2017)

A strong part of me is skeptical. Looking doesn't mean you like what you see. But at the same time, I don't usually do double takes of people I don't think are attractive.


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## TwoSwords (Jul 15, 2017)

BigElectricKat said:


> So in closing, I just want the ladies here to know that even when others are whispering and giving you disapproving looks or making catty comments, they are probably secretly a little envious of your obvious gifts.



Wouldn't it be wonderful to think so?

I mean, don't get me wrong. It's *possible* that lots of people feel this way, and are just convinced by media propaganda that it's not normal. In reality, I think *many* people who stare at big girls are secretly admiring their appearance, but either feel it's not appropriate to say so, due to some kind of social conditioning (reinforced, in many cases, by the insecurities of the girls themselves,) or else feel like there must be something wrong with them, because they feel that way, so they say nothing, to avoid feeling like a "wierdo."

I know. When I was in High School, I was one of those guys. I would stare blissfully at one girl in particular, and even, in one instance, didn't sit next to her when I had the chance, because I was concerned that physical proximity on that level would be seen as inappropriate for someone with such a staggering level of beauty. In fact, that situation made me realize that I needed more confidence in my feelings, so I went out and got it. I always had these feelings, but just lacked the courage to express them directly, and I'm still waiting for other people to do the same.

However, while I'm sure there are more FAs than is commonly believed, I think it would be too much to say that *everyone* appreciates the beauty of fat girls. I think sometimes, when a woman is staring angrily at a fatter woman, who's being talked to by a guy, she's jealous, not of her size, but of the attention she's receiving. I guess what I'm saying is, there are frequently multiple explanations for observable evidence like this.


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## landshark (Jul 15, 2017)

From what I have experienced/observed the vast majority of people do not notice others. In fact, people often tend to be oblivious to their surroundings to the point that it can be infuriating (especially if they're driving). People do tend to notice things they like or identify with though. For example, if you buy a certain type of car you may notice the same kind of car more often than before when you're out and about.

With that said, I'm not going to argue with "video evidence" though I will remain skeptical since I've not seen it myself. Furthermore even assuming everyone does take notice, what you don't know is what the observer is thinking. Are they admiring? Are they loathing? Are they just by happenstance staring and not realizing it? 

This is a good parallel discussion to the observations thread I initiated last week. The difference is that thread makes the case that few seem to notice others so by extension few notice me and my wife, but of those who do, here's are some observations and a series of patterns. (And I still have several more observations to share on that thread.) This thread asserts more people than not take notice of a bigger woman, but seems to lack the ability to dig into how they react/what they think when they do. 

Both are valid discussions.


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## BigElectricKat (Jul 17, 2017)

happily_married said:


> This is a good parallel discussion to the observations thread I initiated last week. The difference is that thread makes the case that few seem to notice others so by extension few notice me and my wife, but of those who do, here's are some observations and a series of patterns. (And I still have several more observations to share on that thread.) This thread asserts more people than not take notice of a bigger woman, but seems to lack the ability to dig into how they react/what they think when they do.
> 
> Both are valid discussions.



Here's the thing: You get to (possibly) interact with a person or persons that you encounter, thereby ascertaining their thoughts or motivations. But, for the most part, you can only do that one at at time (not counting group encounters). You do get to personally experience and often communicate with these folks. 

By contrast, I don't get to actually communicate with the various folks I observe. And I can only *infer* what I see and (sometimes) hear when people have a reaction to a big cutie in their vacinity. But I have the ability to view multiple instances of these encounters. I can freeze, rewind, and play back video if needed ("Did I just see what I think I saw" type of situation). So by default, I have a wider perspective (usually).

Granted, I don't do this on a regular basis and in fact, maybe only catch 1out of 50 of the actual brushes with large ladies because I'm busy doing other things. But having been trained in how to read body language and micro expressions, I think that what you said earlier is correct: there are more people out there who may secretly admire a larger female form but due to the firmly entrenched social stigma, refrain from expressing it. But in my case, they may think no one is watching (oh, but I am). 

I do acknowledge that I don't have the ability to dig deeper and ascribe a true value to what I witness.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 17, 2017)

I wouldn't know if anything you interpret seeing could be actually jealousy of how someone bigger looks. However, as a big gal who "walks among the skinny", I can see and hear envy of what I'm eating sometimes. 
They see my size and EXPECT me to eat the cake....or donut...or chips....or whatever it may be (even if I don't that day- yes that does occasionally happen) while they titter around it, make excuses, act like it's an awful thing for the cake to have landed all big and sweet in the break room. No tittering here for me....if I want some cake I just get a plate and eat some. If I don't feel like, I feel no need to discuss it. 
I have spent most of my life with an eating disorder. It feels somehow triumphant to me to eat that damn cake no matter what others think...or not.
Hell yeah, those chicks should envy me with the cake....or my ability to not really need permission to eat it. People seem to think and feel a lot of things about BBWs....and society's need to stigmatize us has always seemed based upon envy, fear or ignorance.
Could be one of those things you are noticing, too?


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## BigElectricKat (Jul 18, 2017)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I wouldn't know if anything you interpret seeing could be actually jealousy of how someone bigger looks. However, as a big gal who "walks among the skinny", I can see and hear envy of what I'm eating sometimes.
> They see my size and EXPECT me to eat the cake....or donut...or chips....or whatever it may be (even if I don't that day- yes that does occasionally happen) while they titter around it, make excuses, act like it's an awful thing for the cake to have landed all big and sweet in the break room. No tittering here for me....if I want some cake I just get a plate and eat some. If I don't feel like, I feel no need to discuss it.
> I have spent most of my life with an eating disorder. It feels somehow triumphant to me to eat that damn cake no matter what others think...or not.
> Hell yeah, those chicks should envy me with the cake....or my ability to not really need permission to eat it. People seem to think and feel a lot of things about BBWs....and society's need to stigmatize us has always seemed based upon envy, fear or ignorance.
> Could be one of those things you are noticing, too?



There is an awesomeness to what you are saying here. I would expect that it's quite the liberating feeling to cast off the shackles of what our current society likes to call "the norm" and instead just be yourself. I would also guess that when you exude that confidence in yourself, it baffles the "no cake" culture to no end! 

I applaud you simply because you are you.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 19, 2017)

BigElectricKat said:


> There is an awesomeness to what you are saying here. I would expect that it's quite the liberating feeling to cast off the shackles of what our current society likes to call "the norm" and instead just be yourself. I would also guess that when you exude that confidence in yourself, it baffles the "no cake" culture to no end!
> 
> I applaud you simply because you are you.



Thank you
Yes, that's what's being envied...freedom.


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## landshark (Jul 21, 2017)

BigElectricKat said:


> Here's the thing: You get to (possibly) interact with a person or persons that you encounter, thereby ascertaining their thoughts or motivations. But, for the most part, you can only do that one at at time (not counting group encounters). You do get to personally experience and often communicate with these folks.
> 
> By contrast, I don't get to actually communicate with the various folks I observe. And I can only *infer* what I see and (sometimes) hear when people have a reaction to a big cutie in their vacinity. But I have the ability to view multiple instances of these encounters. I can freeze, rewind, and play back video if needed ("Did I just see what I think I saw" type of situation). So by default, I have a wider perspective (usually).
> 
> ...



I think we're saying the same thing. Your observations are a mile wide and an inch deep. I don't mean that in an insulting way, BTW. My observations are far fewer in number but there's no inferring required: It's real interaction with people as they react to my wife's weight or us as a couple. 

Again: both are valid levels of observation.


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## BigElectricKat (Jul 22, 2017)

happily_married said:


> I think we're saying the same thing. Your observations are a mile wide and an inch deep. I don't mean that in an insulting way, BTW. My observations are far fewer in number but there's no inferring required: It's real interaction with people as they react to my wife's weight or us as a couple.
> 
> Again: both are valid levels of observation.



I agree. Since I don't have anyone with which to go out and get closer reactions with, I will have to wait on a later date to gather more info.


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## quantumbits (Jul 26, 2017)

BigElectricKat said:


> *snip*
> 
> So in closing, I just want the ladies here to know that even when others are whispering and giving you disapproving looks or making catty comments, they are probably secretly a little envious of your obvious gifts.
> :bow:


I've never done surveillance, but judging from my limited number of years as a cisgender male, I've seen and heard lots of guys give attention to thick woman. It's so commonplace, not unordinary.

I just watched Idiocracy and was struck by how many of hte woman were thicker. Usually in hollywood movies they're all skinny, you know? Are they trying to make a point by hinting being bigger is being an idiot?

Depressing we live in a society hwere guys are encouraged to keep their attraction to bigger woman secret. I've tried to create explanations over the years for this taboo. One of my ideas is thick woman inherently attract more attention, and since this is broadly undesired, our society has adopted a zero-tolerance policy, piggybacking on the health industry and whatever is nearby to exploit. Essentially, bigger woman are like big boobs. They attract sexual attention. Many woman aren't exhibitionists and don't want to be. It's an issue of control. And also being thicker has other side effects, like not being able to compete in sports as well or suffering potential health troubles if it's unchecked.

And it works. It's social conditioning. Peer pressure. We want to fit in at an early age. Rejection is one of the most painful psychological experiences out there. It might be used as a tool.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201307/10-surprising-facts-about-rejection
https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn2051-rejection-massively-reduces-iq/

I also think attraction to bigger woman is largely--for most men--tied to stress. The more stressed they're, the more attracted to bigger woman they'll be. Generally, stressed people look for pleasure. There're many examples. Even children do this when they're bored or stress. It's problematic if it becomes addiction.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-the-wild-things-are/201011/too-much-stress-try-pleasure

Sorry I went on this tangent. I deserve punishment? I'm still thinking of that movie.


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