# How big is "Big"?



## JustPlainJim (Jun 16, 2006)

Ya knwo, something's been going through my mind for a bit now. Sure it's BHM and BBW, but... just what constitutes "big"? Just a look? A feel? A particular shape? A state of mind? Some super-special calculation like "Body Mass Index" or some other bullsh*t? ...

My reason for asking is... well, I looked through some people's posts about reaching their goals, getting more and more of the "B" added on to "BHM". While I encourage these guys to shoot for their dreams (wgile keeping mindful of potential health risks), I find myself fighting the urge to say "That's a goal? I haven't been that small in a long time. ... Then again, I'm a bit taller than they are, too."

So, all my nitpicking aside, a general question for you men and women out there: "What makes a person 'big'?"

~~~~~
Side note: I've had the benefit of being a big guy most all my life so my body's pretty much used to it by now. I've been 6'3" and 350lbs for... oh... about 8 years now. ^_^;;


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## Skinny_FFA (Jun 17, 2006)

It depends on the beholder. For me a man has to be at least 300lbs. whith a big soft hanging-jiggling belly for thinking he´s big AND handsome. Under that he is just kind of chubby and something like a "wannabe". (Sorry to all others/starters its just my humble opinion so keep trying to gain.  ) 
As the height I´m only talking about tall men being 5"9´ myself.


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## AZ_Wolf (Jun 17, 2006)

Height queen. How is that different vs weight if you think about it?


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## missaf (Jun 17, 2006)

Big is relative, of course. My physical attraction usually leans to softer bellies, rather than beer bellies, and taller than me, which is rare to find.


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## skizzles (Jun 17, 2006)

Well, I just reached 200 and at 6' tall, my belly is starting to really look and feel like a fat belly. Maybe it sounds small, but I'm starting to feel fat at this weight. About a year and a half ago, I weighed 145. That was really, really thin for me. I usually weigh 165.


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## Obesus (Jun 18, 2006)

Perhaps being called "Big man" or "Big guy" about 20 times a day...getting "Hey, Yo! Burl Ives!"....from street dudes...wearing XXXL clothes that are just a titch too tight...having to get one of those "special scales"...having a really hard time bending over because of the belly...having little Asian kids come over and pat the belly because it is supposed to be good luck and I look a lot like a Buddha...having kids yell: "Hey Santa, what's for my birthday?"....that's actually kinda' cute...I am disturbingly Santa-ish. (I thought most women had a Santa-type fetish thing going on, but I may be mistaken!)
As far as feeling "big", those might possibly be some indicators...I will have to think on it. The real question is why I only feel "fat" on a few days...most of the time it is just "big"..??????????


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## missaf (Jun 18, 2006)

A big guy friend of mine heard me tell a lady friend that I liked huge t-shirts for comfortable summer night shirts. A few days later, she slipped me an 8x tshirt, still in the package.

Mmmm, now that's big!


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## William (Jun 18, 2006)

Hi Obesus

The first sentence my next door Neighbor's Son said to me was "Hi, Mr. Big Man!"

Too bad everyone can not be like toddlers 

William





Obesus said:


> Perhaps being called "Big man" or "Big guy" about 20 times a day...getting "Hey, Yo! Burl Ives!"....from street dudes...wearing XXXL clothes that are just a titch too tight...having to get one of those "special scales"...having a really hard time bending over because of the belly...having little Asian kids come over and pat the belly because it is supposed to be good luck and I look a lot like a Buddha...having kids yell: "Hey Santa, what's for my birthday?"....that's actually kinda' cute...I am disturbingly Santa-ish. (I thought most women had a Santa-type fetish thing going on, but I may be mistaken!)
> As far as feeling "big", those might possibly be some indicators...I will have to think on it. The real question is why I only feel "fat" on a few days...most of the time it is just "big"..??????????


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## Zandoz (Jun 20, 2006)

missaf said:


> A big guy friend of mine heard me tell a lady friend that I liked huge t-shirts for comfortable summer night shirts. A few days later, she slipped me an 8x tshirt, still in the package.
> 
> Mmmm, now that's big!



Most of my comfortable ones are 7Xs...a couple 8Xs...depends on the shrinkage. (No, not the kind that just popped into your collective heads)


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## JustPlainJim (Jun 20, 2006)

Hmm... good answers, all 'round (no pun intended)

There... I know what you mean, Obesus, about feeling fat versus feeling big.

And missaf? 8x? Dear God! The biggest I've ever seen was a 6x (from a former employer) and it was HUGE!


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jun 20, 2006)

I went out on a couple dates with a woman who was 4' 11" and weighed about 90 lbs. I felt absolutely like a giantess. (I'm 5' 5" and about 130 lbs.) 

Now, I'm going out to see a guy who's 6' 3" and about 220 or 230. Almost a foot in height and 100 lbs dwarfs me. While he's a nice guy and size usually doesn't intimidate me when dealing with people, I'm just not used to being right up on someone much bigger than me without a form of leverage.

I might not be impressed that one of my coworkers is 400 lbs. and 6', because it doesn't affect me. It's a whole lot different standing an inch from someone and standing six feet from them.


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## missaf (Jun 20, 2006)

I consider it unfair that my 5'0" sister gets all the men over 6' -- and me, 5'9", gets all the guys that are shorter than me! She needs to share.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jun 21, 2006)

how big is big??

hhhmmmmmmmm

Anything over 7 inches?

Did I win????


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jun 21, 2006)

If you call disappointing most of the men here winning, yes.  You win.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jun 21, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> If you call disappointing most of the men here winning, yes.  You win.




I think that was you darlin...........brat! lol


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## Santaclear (Jun 21, 2006)

Obesus said:


> Perhaps being called "Big man" or "Big guy" about 20 times a day...getting "Hey, Yo! Burl Ives!"....from street dudes...wearing XXXL clothes that are just a titch too tight...having to get one of those "special scales"...having a really hard time bending over because of the belly...having little Asian kids come over and pat the belly because it is supposed to be good luck and I look a lot like a Buddha...having kids yell: "Hey Santa, what's for my birthday?"....that's actually kinda' cute...I am disturbingly Santa-ish. (I thought most women had a Santa-type fetish thing going on, but I may be mistaken!)
> As far as feeling "big", those might possibly be some indicators...I will have to think on it. The real question is why I only feel "fat" on a few days...most of the time it is just "big"..??????????



Great post, Obesus! I loved 'Hey, Yo! Burl Ives!' 

I resent the Santa comparisons tho.


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## Shikamaru (Jun 21, 2006)

JustPlainJim said:


> . My reason for asking is... well, I looked through some people's posts about reaching their goals, getting more and more of the "B" added on to "BHM". While I encourage these guys to shoot for their dreams (wgile keeping mindful of potential health risks), I find myself fighting the urge to say "That's a goal? I haven't been that small in a long time. ... Then again, I'm a bit taller than they are, too."



well... I chose my goal based on what size I am already. Plus I like even numbers.


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## JustPlainJim (Jun 21, 2006)

Yeesh. Wasn't trying to insult anyone! Just trying to speak my mind. 

Sandie_Zitkus:
Normally, this would depress the hell outta me. Now? Meh, I'm too tired today. Come back tomorrow. 

missaf:
I'anno, some guys just like the short women (used to have the biggest crush on a girl that was 5'0"... had a GF that was 5'10" ... *shrugs* Find a relatively tall guy that's into women about his height. XP

TheSadeianLinguist:
Aye, I agree. Seeing a picture and seeing them in person (or beiung close enough to hold 'em) are all completely diffeent things...
And I get far too little of the latter. ;P


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## Laina (Jun 21, 2006)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> how big is big??
> 
> hhhmmmmmmmm
> 
> ...



By that do you mean big? Or too big? ...maybe I'm just too little, because all I can think is "Oh, God OUCH!"

*sigh*

I'm a complete failure as a pervert. I will NEVER be a porn star, now!


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Jun 21, 2006)

Buck up, Laina. Just be a Domme. No penetration and total pervies. Hope you like spanking old men wearing diapers!


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## Dibaby35 (Jun 21, 2006)

What is Big to me? Probably 2x or larger. I dunno..I just love a guy to be overall proportionate. What I mean is..tall, nice tummy, big hands, big feet, big arms (oh I have a thing for arms..lol). I just love big! I wanna feel like this Big guy can just come and sweep me up. hehe. 


Now for the perverts...actually average is just nice in this "area". I've had overall large and its no fun I tell ya. Pain sucks imo.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Jun 21, 2006)

Is that too big????? Hmmmmm not to me. I've never been with a man who was smaller than that.

But size isn't really the issue is it? It's what you do with what cha got!   





Laina said:


> By that do you mean big? Or too big? ...maybe I'm just too little, because all I can think is "Oh, God OUCH!"
> 
> *sigh*
> 
> I'm a complete failure as a pervert. I will NEVER be a porn star, now!


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## Laina (Jun 22, 2006)

TheSadeianLinguist said:


> Buck up, Laina. Just be a Domme. No penetration and total pervies. Hope you like spanking old men wearing diapers!



Mmm...riding crops, for the win.


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## Mercedes (Jun 26, 2006)

Big all over and soft like a water-bed.

Yummy!


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## Big450inLACa (May 25, 2007)

I guess your too big when you are no longer to live your own life.
I am pretty much around the 450 lbs 30yr old and still carry myself very well.


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## MaryElizabethAntoinette (May 25, 2007)

Big in my mind... is anything over 350/400. And, the bigger the sexier. <3


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## holy crap (May 26, 2007)

this thread makes me feel thin. in a bad way.

i'm about 250, but i'm trying. isn't that what counts?


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## bigrugbybloke (May 28, 2007)

i consider myself a bhm although i am short at 5'4", i weigh around 21stone, 60" belly, 35" thighs, 21" arms but most of all, a really cute face!!!


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## HDANGEL15 (May 28, 2007)

holy crap said:


> this thread makes me feel thin. in a bad way.
> 
> i'm about 250, but i'm trying. isn't that what counts?



*you look perfectly sexy and hot and *FAT* to me...but you are already almost double me..and to me BIG IS 2-3X little ole ME :eat2: *


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## TCUBOB (May 30, 2007)

Thanks, TSL and Sandie for taking this in a whole different direction. But I would say to look back at this thread here which also examines the subject, albeit from the what is a BBW perspective. I think most of the same arguments (height, bones, etc.) carry over from women to men.

Bob


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## JoeD43 (Jun 3, 2007)

Well, I would have to say that "big" is all about perception yours as well as how you think others view you as well. I also agree with the fat vs. big argument too. I'm not tall 5'9" but I'm big, right at 390 or so.


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## cammy (Jun 3, 2007)

Before I got accustomed to my BHM's size, twice mine, I thought he was big at 225. But now, although he has added about 25 pounds, I no longer find him all that large. I am am hopeful to keep has weight gain increasing until he reaches at least 300.


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## TCUBOB (Jun 3, 2007)

If we're judging clothing sizes, I'd guess that big starts around 3XL, maybe 2XL. You can always find an XL in a store, and 2XLs are getting more common. But you've almost always got to go online for 3XL and bigger, as if all the guys who are that fat are homebound or too embarrassed to be seen in public (though it is more likely that it just doesn't pay to stock that size).

Still, I'm constantly amazed at the number of mediums that you can still find in men's clothing. Where are all these short skinny dudes?

As far as pants, if you're over a 44/46 in the waist, you're big. That's about the "normal store" cutoff, just like with shirt size. So I'm just over the cut in both, in that I'm a shirt tweener, depending on the cut (but I'm tall, so I like a longer cut), and I'm a 48 inch waist (or that's the size pants I wear, because I refuse to buy a 50 inch waist ever again (unless I completely let myself go at some point and hit 400 or higher again).

But again, these are general guidelines, not necessarily hard and fast. Not that I would know anything about hard and fast, because as a fat guy, I ain't very fast and there are not many things hard (though I can think of one <slyly> ) about me.....


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## escapist (Jun 26, 2007)

To big is when you can't do what you love anymore. 350 for me is GREAT I feel like a Rock Star. 300 I'm not even sure if I look Fat. Here is me at 420 just a few weeks ago Rock Climbing in Icebox Canyon, in Red Rock Park outside of Las Vegas. 






This is about it for me though, any bigger than this and it starts to hurt. By the way I guess I'm not lurking anymore thats me there is my pic. I love who I am, and I love being who and what I am.

In or coming to Las Vegas? Don't hide drop me a message.


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## Nastya_Loves (Jun 26, 2007)

Well... It depends: for me a man has to be at least the double of me!! (that's easy i'm rather tiny n.n ... and it must have a soft and cute belly to rub!!!


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## hot'n fluffy (Oct 9, 2007)

I was under the impression that ladies prefer girth over lenght?
am I mistaken?



Sandie_Zitkus said:


> how big is big??
> 
> hhhmmmmmmmm
> 
> ...


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## Britannia (Oct 9, 2007)

"Big" is totally subjective.

To use a non-fat-related example, my friend Brandon has ear plugs that are 1.5" in diameter. To the vast majority of people, that's pretty fucking huge, but there are people with them gauged even bigger.

He's told me that as he's stretched them out over the years, he thinks they look big at first and then he gets used to them, and wants them bigger. His ultimate goal is to be able to look in the mirror, after a few years at a certain gauge, and still think, "Wow, those fuckers are BIG."

But his idea of what's big is always becoming bigger.

So there's really no set definition of what "big" is, or can be, at all. It's all personal opinion.


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## Qit el-Remel (Oct 11, 2007)

"Big" is when he looks like he'd be more than an armful. 



escapist said:


> To big is when you can't do what you love anymore. 350 for me is GREAT I feel like a Rock Star. 300 I'm not even sure if I look Fat. Here is me at 420 just a few weeks ago Rock Climbing in Icebox Canyon, in Red Rock Park outside of Las Vegas.


420# in that pic? Wow. How tall are you?

-Qit


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## Wanderer (Oct 11, 2007)

holy crap said:


> this thread makes me feel thin. in a bad way.
> 
> i'm about 250, but i'm trying. isn't that what counts?



I certainly hope so; I'm 270, and trying like crazy to hit 350.


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## stefanie (Oct 11, 2007)

I don't think it's a number on the scale - I'm trying to get away from using numbers to define us as fat people. Nor do I think so much about clothes size - that doesn't tell you much about the body underneath. To me, it's "squishiness" - how fat someone is, as opposed to lean or muscular.


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## StarScream! (Oct 12, 2007)

I'm not really sure. I've been big my whole life. I was always the biggest kid in daycare, elementary school, middle school, high school, pretty much every job I've had...lol...So I've just always been big. 

I know that by the time I started school I was wearing my moms shoes, and my dads shirts. I think I was 200lbs by the time I was 9, 275 when I was 12, I entered high school at 360 when I graduated I was 475.

I think that I accepted my weight when I was a freshman in High School, and started playing football. My coach was really supportive of me, and was one of the first people that didn't tell me I was too fat, and needed to lose weight. He told me, exact words  "If you want to be 400lbs, be a healthy, mean, powerful, destructive, ass kicking 400lbs" Crazy old coach just wanted me to kill all the kids on the other football teams, but I didn't care. It struck something in me. Being big was always apart of my life that I tried to take attention off of, or cover up. After that I start referring to myself as Bob "The Behemoth" Bryant in all the sports activities...haha...I never really got made fun of again, I mean I'm sure people still said stuff behind my back here and there, but when I accepted it myself so did everyone else....................................................................................................................So whoa, I got like way off subject! It's too late, and I took too much Nyquil......Going to bed now...


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## Carl1h (Oct 21, 2007)

The first time I really felt BIG was when I was walking down the aisle at the video store and a guy looked up, saw me coming and then yanked his girlfriend out of the way as if I was a speeding truck about to run her over.:shocked:

Still happens every now and then... probably has something to do with the people silhouettes tattooed down my arm to keep track of the ones that weren't pulled clear in time. 

Breaking a turnstile as I squeezed my way through (the bolts holding it to the ground broke) made me feel pretty big, but the embarrassment spoiled the moment.


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## SnapDragon (Oct 21, 2007)

Depending on height, I usually like anywhere from 15 to 20 stone. I wouldn't describe anyone below 15 stone as fat, and anything much over the 22-ish mark is getting too fat (although other people will disagree, and I'm fairly sure that for some people, there's no such thing as 'too fat'). (although I have seen some very heavy men who are tall and have the right sort of build carry it off.

Merkins, Stralins, etc.: stone = 14 pounds.

-SnapDragon.


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## Lady Bella UK (Oct 21, 2007)

Everyone will disagree on their definition of "Big"

I would say chubby is up to 18 stone (but that depends on the build of the gentleman in question) and over that is fat..over 25 stone then becomes very large. But this is only my personal criteria of large.

I have liked the apperance of slimmer men, but the majority of the time (90%) only larger men do it for me. I like chubby to incredibly large.

Bella xXx


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## TrickBaby (Nov 4, 2007)

well, i tend to go for guys between 200-300lbs

now that i've had a good look around this bored, starting to wonder if i qualify as a ffa


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## Carl1h (Nov 5, 2007)

TrickBaby said:


> well, i tend to go for guys between 200-300lbs
> 
> now that i've had a good look around this bored, starting to wonder if i qualify as a ffa



I don't think anyone has been thrown off the board for not being fat enough or for not liking their men fat enough. Don't let the numbers decide if you want to stay or not, decide based on how you feel about the people posting here. The bar for where some of us start thinking of others as fat might be higher here than other places, but there is no rule stating, "You must be this fat to use these boards." Nor must you be out for only the very fattest of men or women to use these boards. Stay, have fun, and don't sweat the numbers.

Carl


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## TrickBaby (Nov 6, 2007)

what a very sweet welcome.

well, i guess a label makes me feel more comfortable with something that for years i thought was weird and my own dirty little secret. its nice to know im not alone and not that different after all.


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## fat hiker (Nov 13, 2007)

StarScream! said:


> I'm not really sure. I've been big my whole life. I was always the biggest kid in daycare, elementary school, middle school, high school, pretty much every job I've had...lol...So I've just always been big.
> 
> I know that by the time I started school I was wearing my moms shoes, and my dads shirts. I think I was 200lbs by the time I was 9, 275 when I was 12, I entered high school at 360 when I graduated I was 475.
> 
> I think that I accepted my weight when I was a freshman in High School, and started playing football. My coach was really supportive of me, and was one of the first people that didn't tell me I was too fat, and needed to lose weight. He told me, exact words  "If you want to be 400lbs, be a healthy, mean, powerful, destructive, ass kicking 400lbs" Crazy old coach just wanted me to kill all the kids on the other football teams, but I didn't care. It struck something in me. Being big was always apart of my life that I tried to take attention off of, or cover up. After that I start referring to myself as Bob "The Behemoth" Bryant in all the sports activities...haha...I never really got made fun of again, I mean I'm sure people still said stuff behind my back here and there, but when I accepted it myself so did everyone else....................................................................................................................So whoa, I got like way off subject! It's too late, and I took too much Nyquil......Going to bed now...




Wow, what an amazing life history - another lesson in just how amazing and important it is to accept yourself. I wish I'd come to terms with my size in high school - Bob The Behemoth indeed!

How tall are you, if you don't mind being asked?


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## bigrugbybloke (Nov 17, 2007)

well i've always considered myself to be big for a small lad (5' 3", 20.5 stone) but there are a lot of bigger guys on here. my weight has been pretty stable the last few years but i am looking to gain and i think my frame could take 25 stone nicely. anyone want to suggest any methods?


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## Jagtahr (Feb 18, 2008)

In the week I have been a member here and talked to a couple of FFA's, I have been told I am too skinny. Never in my life has anyone ever said I am too skinny.


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## TaciturnBadger (Feb 18, 2008)

Rock on, Santa! I've always had a thing for the old Coke paintings where Santa actually looked like he had a "bowl full of jelly." Though I'd personally much rather prefer "serving platter of jelly." 



Obesus said:


> Perhaps being called "Big man" or "Big guy" about 20 times a day...getting "Hey, Yo! Burl Ives!"....from street dudes...wearing XXXL clothes that are just a titch too tight...having to get one of those "special scales"...having a really hard time bending over because of the belly...having little Asian kids come over and pat the belly because it is supposed to be good luck and I look a lot like a Buddha...having kids yell: "Hey Santa, what's for my birthday?"....that's actually kinda' cute...I am disturbingly Santa-ish. (I thought most women had a Santa-type fetish thing going on, but I may be mistaken!)
> As far as feeling "big", those might possibly be some indicators...I will have to think on it. The real question is why I only feel "fat" on a few days...most of the time it is just "big"..??????????


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## Wanderer (Feb 19, 2008)

Obesus said:


> Perhaps being called "Big man" or "Big guy" about 20 times a day...getting "Hey, Yo! Burl Ives!"....from street dudes...wearing XXXL clothes that are just a titch too tight...having to get one of those "special scales"...having a really hard time bending over because of the belly...having little Asian kids come over and pat the belly because it is supposed to be good luck and I look a lot like a Buddha...having kids yell: "Hey Santa, what's for my birthday?"....that's actually kinda' cute...I am disturbingly Santa-ish. (I thought most women had a Santa-type fetish thing going on, but I may be mistaken!)
> As far as feeling "big", those might possibly be some indicators...I will have to think on it. The real question is why I only feel "fat" on a few days...most of the time it is just "big"..??????????




I've actually gotten the "Santa" comment from one little kid, though it was as much for the beard as the belly. I'm still looking forward hopefully to the day I'm as big and soft as you are... 270 just isn't that big by comparison. I mean, my clothes from the big and tall store just about fall off me!

And "Burl Ives"? The street dudes in your area must put the "old" in "old school".


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## Olga_NYC (Jul 1, 2008)

Hm I'm rather small, 5'0'' and 100 lbs so I'd say anything over 200 is alright. I would probably not go out with someone under 200, especially if they're tall.


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## Durin (Jul 1, 2008)

Interesting Thread.

As always there is a wide diversity of taste. And since this is a Forum boldly countercultural in it's love of Fat People it is no wonder that the desired weight clocks in higher.

I have never been skinny, I have been fat since about 2nd grade. More just nerdyness and chubbyness than actually being FAT but I always put myself in the FAT column.

I am short at 5' 6" . In High school I weighed 135lbs, graduated college at 175lbs. I got married in 99 at around 210lbs. And now the past few years my weight has been oscilating from 240-265. I am just on the line of needing to go to Big Mens Stores 42" pants and XXL shirts are still fitting me just. I have a big booty so most cuts on 42" pants don't fit.


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## Paquito (Jul 1, 2008)

Big is definetetly in the eye of the beholder. I don't think I'll think of myself as big until I pack on another good 100 pounds. I've always had some chub to me, but that "slight" has rapidly changed to "fat," didnt really have a long transition period lol.

Here's to the upcoming pounds in the future :eat1:


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## KingMordred (Jul 4, 2008)

500-1000 lbs


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## bigpulve (Sep 4, 2008)

I happen to be one of the short fat dudes out there.....so usually I am not looked at as being "big" just fat......But I have always been of the school of thought that says its better if you have lots o muscle if you are a big guy....Just always been that way.

5'6 320 this morning but am trying to continue to lose weight. I know I know....


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## No-No-Badkitty (Sep 4, 2008)

JustPlainJim said:


> Side note: I've had the benefit of being a big guy most all my life so my body's pretty much used to it by now. I've been 6'3" and 350lbs for... oh... about 8 years now. ^_^;;




Well, I am fat, there is no doubt about it. Do I feel big? No. I don't. I feel normal. I do not feel "fat" whatever that feeling is. Why? No clue. But honest to God as a kid I was oblivious to being fat until other kids started picking on me. I didn't get it. I felt just like them...so I thought.
I think you are "big" when you want to be big, when you feel like the word applies to you.


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## viracocha (Sep 4, 2008)

I think it's important to note differences in feeling "big" vs. "fat." Being 6' since I was 13, I've always been the biggest in the class regardless of gender. Granted, it's possible to tower others in vertical and horizontal dimensions, but is dependent upon our own perceptions. I still feel gigantic sometimes on campus, but I can still wear a size 10.

Getting on to the point of the post, I don't really know how big is "big" for me. The biggest I've been with was 60 pounds heavier than me, but he still seems pretty small. :blush: I guess I just need to sample more...


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## shazz2602 (Sep 5, 2008)

It's all down to what you think personally. i know some people think a uk size 14 and 16 is a bbw and i personally dont think it is as the average women is that size. i personally think a bbw should start at size 20 uk and a ssbbw at size 30 uk as for men i really dont know i guess i see some men as cuddly but i couldnt tell you what size or weight they are. When it comes to men i never really look at how big they are i look at how nice their eyes are lol ( soft sod i know).


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