# Tips for going to gym with plus-size partner



## mathfa (Sep 7, 2021)

Hello all,

As I have mentioned before on here, I am a thin guy in a relationship with a beautiful, larger lady. She asked to start coming with me to the gym together soon, and today made a comment asking me to not be too "hardcore" (trust me, I'm not ), and I kind of got the vibe she was a little worried about it. She doesn't usually talk about her weight, but said something like, "you can't understand some things". She didn't say it a negative way towards me or anything, just was stating it.

I wanted to ask the folks on here, what are things I should be keeping in mind with making sure she feels comfortable? To the larger people on here, what would you want your partner to do or not do in this situation? I care a lot about her and want her to be able to feel okay and secure. Obviously I will be a good listener for anything else she brings up, without forcing the issue.

Thanks everyone.


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## Tickleseeker (Sep 7, 2021)

Just being a loving, willing, and supportive partner is the first step, and the rest will follow.


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## DazzlingAnna (Sep 7, 2021)

I usually went to the gym on my own.
If my partner (or anyone else) would have joined me I wanted them to treat me as "normal" as in any other place and situation.

I prefer my own pace and so should everyone else. If I want a competition I'd tell them. 
I don't want others to adjust to my exercise level to make me feel better about my own results. (that's probably why I was alone at the gym).

If she wants to join you to the gym - check with her what that means for her... Doing all exercises together or everyone doing different things at the same place. 

For instance I don't like the cardio bike but the rowing device. If whoever is with me loves the cardio bike I don't want to be in a situation to do something I don't like just to spend time together. (if that makes any sense)

It should be a good workout for both of you but also some good time spent together.


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## mathfa (Sep 8, 2021)

Thank you both!

I'm sorry it seemed like sort of a dumb question, sometimes just typing things out like this helps me understand things. If I think about how to ask a question then eventually I get to an answer. 

I appreciate the wisdom!


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## Monster (Nov 19, 2021)

It's not a dumb question! It's really considerate of you to be aware. 

Something to keep in mind is that just like thin bodies, fat bodies have things they're good at and bad at on an individual level, and ways to move that feel good or bad. It's all personal. Like Anna said, maybe she hates the cardio bike but will love the rowing machine! If she wants, you can help her figure that out. Another thing to be aware of is that if she's not used to intense cardio, it might make her sick! (I used to run until I threw up, it was an eating disorder, don't let her do that.) Help her keep hydrated and not push herself too hard at first, but listen to her if she says she's fine. 

Steer her towards the free weights! Fat folks tend to be stronger than we think just from hauling our big sexy bodies around. Sometimes fit dudes hog the free weights or get shitty if a woman or fat person comes by- your job as a thin dude is to run interference for her. Don't make a scene, but pay attention to her body language and what she says and make sure nobody tries to make her feel bad for being there. 

You sound like a great partner, good luck!


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## fatprettyprincess86 (Jul 7, 2022)

I go to LA Fitness I like swimming in the pool and jacuzzi and lil bit of weights for fun I’m 287 pound BBW and very rarely I see a BBW maybe twice a month. It’s mostly bodybuilders. It’s sad. I wish there were more BBWs. I met a BBW who liked to swim at my gym she was a nice lady.


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