# If you like your body shout it out



## olwen (Feb 5, 2011)

That there are soooo many women fat or no who hate their bodies and who aren't size positive depresses me. All the fat women I've grown up with either hide their bodies or have had WLS and it makes me feel like the lone weirdo to know I like my body and don't have low self esteem. So I just need to know other women feel the way I do, so if you like your body and don't have low self esteem shout it out!


----------



## LillyBBBW (Feb 5, 2011)

I have my moments of displeasure like everyone else but I do like my body overall. When you hear me complain it's not about how my body doesn't fit, it's how the world won't bend obediently to my supreme will and preferences, damn them all to HELL!!! *shakes fist* 

I'm making it work though.


----------



## Saoirse (Feb 5, 2011)

I have my days, but over all I like my body. And I havent heard any complaints from the boys I've played around with


----------



## LivingCanvas (Feb 5, 2011)

I have good days & bad days...

But even on my bad days, I love my legs and booty. Or, lack there of, haha. "Peek-a-boo" butt represent! :happy:


----------



## penguin (Feb 5, 2011)

I'm learning to love my body again. I'm really loving my bum these days, which is a first. I've always loved my boobs


----------



## CastingPearls (Feb 5, 2011)

I love my body but FTR there are many people, men and women who have had WLS for life-saving and/or quality of life issues beyond a love for their body as is. 

I had considered it myself and chose against it and the entire time, I did and still do love my body. An argument can also be made that it is exactly why they love their body that they made that difficult decision in the first place.

I think it's abundantly clear that I don't suffer from low self-esteem. LOL


----------



## olwen (Feb 5, 2011)

I'm not talking about having days where you hate some random body part or days when you don't feel like being girly, nor am I talking about wls to gain mobility or something like that. I just mean overall body self love as it is. My friends who had wls didn't have any co-morbids. They did it cause they just didn't like being fat and didn't have as much self esteem as they do in their smaller bodies. In other bbw sites I'm on it's the same story. There are a lot of women who apologize for being fat, talk about how much they know they should loose weight even tho they don't mention health issues. They are just mired in fat shame and It's just depressing and makes me want to scream. And sure being fat is hard, but not enough to shame oneself thin. At least not for me, and it would be good to know that there are other women who feel as I do.


----------



## CastingPearls (Feb 5, 2011)

olwen said:


> I'm not talking about having days where you hate some random body part or days when you don't feel like being girly, nor am I talking about wls to gain mobility or something like that. I just mean overall body self love as it is. My friends who had wls didn't have any co-morbids. They did it cause they just didn't like being fat and didn't have as much self esteem as they do in their smaller bodies. In other bbw sites I'm on it's the same story. There are a lot of women who apologize for being fat, talk about how much they know they should loose weight even tho they don't mention health issues. They are just mired in fat shame and It's just depressing and makes me want to scream. And sure being fat is hard, but not enough to shame oneself thin. At least not for me, and it would be good to know that there are other women who feel as I do.


I agree with you 100% and I know people exactly as you described too. 

I don't disagree with the tone or expression of the thread but wanted instead to express my own thoughts on how WLS isn't always about appearances even though that may seem how it appears to outsiders.


----------



## olwen (Feb 5, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> I agree with you 100% and I know people exactly as you described too.
> 
> I don't disagree with the tone or expression of the thread but wanted instead to express my own thoughts on how WLS isn't always about appearances even though that may how it appears to outsiders.



You're right, it isn't always and I don't begrudge anyone that right. In general I just wish there was less fat shame in the world. Know what I mean?


----------



## CastingPearls (Feb 5, 2011)

olwen said:


> You're right, it isn't always and I don't begrudge anyone that right. In general I just wish there was less fat shame in the world. Know what I mean?


Yes, I do.


----------



## bonified (Feb 5, 2011)

I've gone from the extremes of nearly losing mobility (a result of being so disconnected from my body) to loving and understanding how it actually works so very hard for me, to reconnect, loving it as its own functional entity, truly appreciating the gift it really is. Being conscious of the respect I must and don't always give it.

Fat or less fat, size is fluid, tangible etc my body is the unique ( and thankfully working) vessel that runs in conjuction with the rest of me. 

I saw an ad for a aussie tv show called plastic fantastic last night and it had some stat that said something like 4/5 women don't like their bodies and would like to have surgery etc
Pretty crazy seeing that, had me thinking all that potential girlpower, all those mothers and potential mothers (who might raise kids with similar headfuckedness) are caught up in shitty "wish I could change" negative thoughts.


----------



## KittyKitten (Feb 6, 2011)

Just like the other ladies in here said, I have my days, but I generally like my body. I'm just like Penguin, I love my 'girls'.


----------



## olwen (Feb 6, 2011)

bonified said:


> I've gone from the extremes of nearly losing mobility (a result of being so disconnected from my body) to loving and understanding how it actually works so very hard for me, to reconnect, loving it as its own functional entity, truly appreciating the gift it really is. Being conscious of the respect I must and don't always give it.
> 
> Fat or less fat, size is fluid, tangible etc my body is the unique ( and thankfully working) vessel that runs in conjuction with the rest of me.
> 
> ...



....How could you be disconnected from your body if you have to live in it?


----------



## ashmamma84 (Feb 6, 2011)

I love my body.

I can also see how some women can be disconnected from their bodies even though they live in it. I think it's good to live in a state of awareness on all levels/areas of life. It's definitely an emotional/spiritual thing for me. Treating my body with respect is a huge deal - getting moving, clean eating, etc. are ways that I find a connectedness. In fact, because I hadn't had fried or very fattening foods in so long I immediately became ill when I ate some a couple weekends ago. Now, I knew before eating them that it might not sit quite right, but I didn't expect that I would have to literally RUN to the bathroom. For me, it's about being honest with myself and knowing what works and what doesn't. There's no room for denial or any of that. 

If you are gaining to a point where your body is no longer working for you and your quality of life is decreasing (or you need multiple aids to just make it through the day) yet you ignore it (and thus continue to gain to extreme weights), that's disconnect to me. Sooner or later your body will quit working for you. Something is off and worth investigating further if it's gotten to a barely mobile, myriad of co-morbidities point. Like CP said, it can be seen as an act of love to make some much need changes, but you can't change what you don't acknowledge or confront.


----------



## olwen (Feb 6, 2011)

ashmamma84 said:


> I love my body.
> 
> I can also see how some women can be disconnected from their bodies even though they live in it. I think it's good to live in a state of awareness on all levels/areas of life. It's definitely an emotional/spiritual thing for me. Treating my body with respect is a huge deal - getting moving, clean eating, etc. are ways that I find a connectedness. In fact, because I hadn't had fried or very fattening foods in so long I immediately became ill when I ate some a couple weekends ago. Now, I knew before eating them that it might not sit quite right, but I didn't expect that I would have to literally RUN to the bathroom. For me, it's about being honest with myself and knowing what works and what doesn't. There's no room for denial or any of that.
> 
> *If you are gaining to a point where your body is no longer working for you and your quality of life is decreasing (or you need multiple aids to just make it through the day) yet you ignore it (and thus continue to gain to extreme weights), that's disconnect to me. Sooner or later your body will quit working for you. Something is off and worth investigating further if it's gotten to a barely mobile, myriad of co-morbidities point. Like CP said, it can be seen as an act of love to make some much need changes, but you can't change what you don't acknowledge or confront.*



....has this been your experience? I mean, I still can't see how if someone is actively gaining that they'd still be disconnected from their bodies. I'd imagine that if someone is actively gaining they've be very much in tune with what their bodies are doing...


----------



## ashmamma84 (Feb 6, 2011)

olwen said:


> ....has this been your experience? I mean, I still can't see how if someone is actively gaining that they'd still be disconnected from their bodies. I'd imagine that if someone is actively gaining they've be very much in tune with what their bodies are doing...



A person can gain because of emotional eating and/or food addiction issues and still not be very in tune to what's going on. You're not typically in a healthy state of mind when you have those things going on. It has not been my personal experience and it doesn't have to be to hold water. A very good friend of mine has dealt and is currently dealing with this very issue. It's a vicious cycle for her because she's young, very fat and her health is starting to decline. And because her ailments and the fact that she can't live a normal life depress her, she copes by eating to numb pain/block out uncomfortable situations/feelings. So while she's actively gaining, it isn't because she *wants* to. She's not in the right frame of mind and for her (and people like her) there's a disconnect. She's not in a healthy emotional place at all. 

To me, the mind and body are entirely too interrelated. I think they always have an effect on each other and by not recognizing that can be detrimental sometimes.


----------



## CastingPearls (Feb 6, 2011)

This is a great thread Butch opened to discuss the mind/body disconnect:

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=79856


----------



## ashmamma84 (Feb 6, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> This is a great thread Butch opened to discuss the mind/body disconnect:
> 
> http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=79856



Thank you for posting the link, CP.


----------



## Jello404 (Feb 6, 2011)

I absolutely LOVE my body.Only thing I would change SLIGHTLY is my shape.A little more curve never hurt anyone lol.Other than that.Im perfect! :bow:


----------



## bonified (Feb 6, 2011)

olwen said:


> ....How could you be disconnected from your body if you have to live in it?



I wasn't living, I was existing.


----------



## CastingPearls (Feb 6, 2011)

bonified said:


> I wasn't living, I was existing.


I'm reminded of something I read somewhere that still resonates within me:

'Surviving isn't living anymore than drowning is swimming.'


----------



## olwen (Feb 6, 2011)

ashmamma84 said:


> A person can gain because of emotional eating and/or food addiction issues and still not be very in tune to what's going on. You're not typically in a healthy state of mind when you have those things going on. It has not been my personal experience and it doesn't have to be to hold water. A very good friend of mine has dealt and is currently dealing with this very issue. It's a vicious cycle for her because she's young, very fat and her health is starting to decline. And because her ailments and the fact that she can't live a normal life depress her, she copes by eating to numb pain/block out uncomfortable situations/feelings. So while she's actively gaining, it isn't because she *wants* to. She's not in the right frame of mind and for her (and people like her) there's a disconnect. She's not in a healthy emotional place at all.
> 
> To me, the mind and body are entirely too interrelated. I think they always have an effect on each other and by not recognizing that can be detrimental sometimes.



Oh I see. I prefer to deal with my emotions directly so these sorts of issues are foreign to me, and I'm not an emotional eater. I would never have thought emotional eating would have anything to do with some sort of disassociation from ones body.


----------



## ashmamma84 (Feb 6, 2011)

olwen said:


> Oh I see. I prefer to deal with my emotions directly so these sorts of issues are foreign to me, and I'm not an emotional eater. I would never have thought emotional eating would have anything to do with some sort of disassociation from ones body.



It's not that my friend *prefers* to deal with her emotions that way. It's an unhealthy coping mechanism - we all have them. Her poison just happens to be stuffing down her pain. It's just another part of the mind/body disconnect and it's dysfunction. Emotional eating is waaaay more common than you'd think and a lot is rooted in not tapping into an awareness. 

Another thing to take a peak at on the issue of mind/body issues is the book Women, Food and God by Geneen Roth. It's an eye opening and amazing read. It will clue you in even more re: this. To her, how/what we eat and our relationship with food has everything to do with how we truly feel about ourselves and being alive. She has other books, but this is the one I was drawn to and definitely made me think.


----------



## CastingPearls (Feb 6, 2011)

I too read the book and it really made me think.

Olwen, re the emotional feeding aspect--when women stuff or suppress emotion and feelings, they often comfort themselves by stuffing with food instead. When I acknowledged that it was something I was doing and food had become more than something enjoyable, I was better equipped to make healthier decisions in my life. YMMV

I can love food and eating and my body, and feel zero guilt. I consider knowledge like this a tool to enhance my life.


----------



## bonified (Feb 6, 2011)

I am direct with everything and always have been up until a situation left me with a hectic case of ptsd that kept me within my head and then escaping that too.
I don't think that it wasn't that I didn't love my body, I just wasn't conscious of it or much at all with anything goin on around me even. 

The mind is unreal with what it does to try & protect and heal, insulate etc 
Thats why in the other thread where we were talking I mentioned the psychological issues regarding ones fatness needing to be addressed. If it isn't a medical issue and it isn't just caloric intake coupled with increased activity, then it's in yr head for the most part, that is if you honestly want change.


----------



## OneWickedAngel (Feb 10, 2011)

You _know_ I love my body O!

The only thing I would change would be the removal of some of the larger varicose veins in my calves from when i was pregnant with my sons. I confess I'm not always kind to my body (I need a mani/pedi so bad it really is not funny), but yes I love me some me.


----------



## butch (Feb 10, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> This is a great thread Butch opened to discuss the mind/body disconnect:
> 
> http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=79856



Thanks for linking it, CP, and I tried to rep you, but the system wouldn't let me.  I'm still working on the mind/body thing, along with a reminder to be more mindful in general, and it is giving me such a sense of well-being and confidence that it is worth the work.


As to Olwen's request, HELL YEAH I LIKE MY BODY! I like it even if it isn't what I imagine in my head, and I like it so much that it scares me to think of the time before, when I didn't like it so much.

Once in a while I see things that I don't much care for (the lines around my mouth are deep, and I think contribute to me looking meaner than I am), but I remind myself that they are all part of a wonderful unique package, and in the grand scheme of things, contribute nothing to my own well-being and happiness.

Self-shame, no matter the source, rarely does anything good for the individual in the long term. It is a shame, though, that we live in a culture that seems to thrive off of making many of us ashamed of something about ourselves that isn't shameful.


----------



## CastingPearls (Feb 10, 2011)

When I was very small and my dad told me if I didn't lose the weight before I was ten I would never find a man who would marry me, I still loved my body.

When I was in grade school and the nurse smugly announced my weight to the entire class and they all laughed, I still loved my body.

When I was a teenager and boys would follow me and make mooing sounds or throw food at me in the cafeteria, and nobody invited me to the prom, I still loved my body.

I didn't ever have a problem with my body. Other people did and that's their problem.


----------



## Tau (Feb 10, 2011)

Love my big, fat, round body!!!!  My skin frustrates me at times - oh for the flawless cocoa canvass of my youth LOL!


----------



## olwen (Feb 10, 2011)

OneWickedAngel said:


> You _know_ I love my body O!
> 
> The only thing I would change would be the removal of some of the larger varicose veins in my calves from when i was pregnant with my sons. I confess I'm not always kind to my body (I need a mani/pedi so bad it really is not funny), but yes I love me some me.




Oh yes, you do indeed.  I could use some mani/pedi love myself. 



butch said:


> Thanks for linking it, CP, and I tried to rep you, but the system wouldn't let me.  I'm still working on the mind/body thing, along with a reminder to be more mindful in general, and it is giving me such a sense of well-being and confidence that it is worth the work.
> 
> 
> As to Olwen's request, HELL YEAH I LIKE MY BODY! I like it even if it isn't what I imagine in my head, and I like it so much that it scares me to think of the time before, when I didn't like it so much.
> ...



I actually have a hard time imagining you looking mean. Tough, yes. Mean, no.



CastingPearls said:


> When I was very small and my dad told me if I didn't lose the weight before I was ten I would never find a man who would marry me, I still loved my body.
> 
> When I was in grade school and the nurse smugly announced my weight to the entire class and they all laughed, I still loved my body.
> 
> ...



This has been my experience too. That other people had such a problem with my body made me really angry, negative, sarcastic all the time. I'm older now and not as angry. It just seems odd to me and a bit shocking to find that kind of fat kid experience is kinda rare. The other fat girls I grew up with didn't really express shame about their bodies, but they felt it deeply. Was I so angry and indignant about other people's "concern" that I wasn't paying attention to their feelings about their own bodies? I'm also kind of shocked that I'm shocked. I'm not sure I'm explaining what I mean very well I don't think. I just don't like the idea that there aren't many fat teens and fat women who don't hate their bodies. That's all really. Glad to know there really are women who don't hate their bodies now and didn't when they were teens.


----------



## Deacone (Feb 12, 2011)

Overall yes I do :] I didn't use to, but my boyfriend made me realise that my body is beautiful. I guess it doesn't help that I live in a place filled with chavs and they have nothing better to do than blurt out nasty things.

Ah well


----------



## Mikaila (Feb 17, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> I think it's abundantly clear that I don't suffer from low self-esteem. LOL




Casting I wish I had a tenth of your self esteem, your posts always make me smile and give me a little "pep talk". You're an amazing woman, as many of you on here are.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe (Feb 20, 2011)

I love my soft rounded belly..My granddaughter calls it her soft cushion,she has slept on it since she was a baby...


----------



## Rowan (Feb 20, 2011)

Im smaller now that i've lost a lot of weight from where i was...(dont hate and be rude)...but i love that my hips are smaller..

down side...hate a. dont fit any of my clothes anymore.... and b. my breasts are much smaller...they used to rock lol


----------



## elina86 (Feb 22, 2011)

I absolutely love my body, and I especially love the belly the more the bigger it grows.


----------



## Surlysomething (Feb 22, 2011)

You know, if society wasn't such a dick, I wouldn't have any problem with my body. 

I kind of like being all tits and ass and belly and blonde.


----------



## Piink (Feb 22, 2011)

I used to hate my body when I was in school. I hated my size, my curly hair, my mole, and my chin. I was ridiculed a lot when I was younger. Got the whole _cow_ thing (_so cliche_). Can't they come up with something more, well, original or do they all think the same? 

Though, there was one _donkey_ I went to school with decided to spray perfume on me one day on the bus to see if I would smell better. Ugh, seriously? Last period is gym. It is 92* outside and we had physicals. Running the track in the heat will make anyone sweat and smell. Straight from gym to the bus. It's not like I had time to shower when I was on the track when the bell rang. (Track was on the southside of the school. Bus ramp on the north).

But, I eventually learned to love every part of me. I began to not care what others thought and only to please myself. And it worked! I finally love myself. My dimpled chin is a wonderful thing that I share with my family. Alot of other family memebers have it, including my Dad. It's different.  And my mole? Well, my sister has one also. I didn't know this until I had found her recently as we were seperated when we were young. My hair? Well, I still don't like the curls so I straighten it then I love it! lol .... As for my body/size ... Well, I finally love me for who I am. I like being a big girl. It makes me stand out from the sea of skinnys. I have this amazing outgoing personality, and I'm as loud as I am big. Now, I may want a few nip-n-tucks here and there but I don't want to change my weight at all. I am happy being me.* Oh, and it def helps when I have an absolutely amazing man who loves every bit of me.

*Correction: I LOVE ME! I have no shame in being myself anymore.


----------



## olwen (Feb 22, 2011)

Awesome Piink. Glad to hear it.


----------



## superodalisque (Feb 23, 2011)

i love my body. i like being soft and round.


----------



## bobbleheaddoll (Feb 27, 2011)

i love my body!


----------



## one2one (Feb 27, 2011)

Surlysomething said:


> I kind of like being all tits and ass and belly and blonde.



What she said. Definitely. Except I'm a strawberry blonde. :happy:


----------



## NJDoll (Feb 28, 2011)

I'm on the train of loving my body. Toot Toot!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD (Feb 28, 2011)

I have really begun to love my body,for the last few years as I continue to gain and grow it has been a journey that has been nothing but positive.As like some others,I love the "girls"...and so does the hubby!


----------



## OneWickedAngel (Mar 2, 2011)

...my current Facebook Status:

"Verbal Diarrhea Diaries (on my complete lack of humility when I know Im looking good): Im sorry but a woman knows when an outfit is working for her. Even the most humble woman has to honestly acknowledge that she is, at worst, pleasing to the eye. And lets face it, Im far from humble. "


----------



## NurseVicki (Mar 2, 2011)

olwen said:


> That there are soooo many women fat or no who hate their bodies and who aren't size positive depresses me. All the fat women I've grown up with either hide their bodies or have had WLS and it makes me feel like the lone weirdo to know I like my body and don't have low self esteem. So I just need to know other women feel the way I do, so if you like your body and don't have low self esteem shout it out!


 I love my Body and I always have


----------



## Miss Vickie (Mar 2, 2011)

I like my body when it works well.  

I like how it manages to deal with the synthetic thyroid hormone I give it every day, the same amount no matter what, rather than be able to fine tune its thyroid levels as it needs it based on what I'm doing that particular day. 

I like how it's managed to stay strong despite gastric bypass, to allow me to eat some of the fun things I love to eat without making me sick, and allow my bones to continue to be strong, my skin continue to be healthy, my hair to continue to shine, and my immune system continue to work so well. I'll even go so far as to say that I like how our bodies continue to work as well as they do given the processed crappy, non-food we give them; rather than the beautiful, whole blessings we've been given to eat, we all too often expect our bodies to function on processed non-food, and yet our bodies do, fairly well, most of the time.

I like how my body knew how to grow not one, not two, but three beautiful, healthy, intelligent babies and birth them without intervention, without drama, without danger. It knew how to feed them, the composition of my milk based on what that particular baby needed at that time. It knew how to make just enough for each baby, making more as the babies grew in that beautiful supply and demand system our bodies have. And then it knew to stop making milk when they stopped nursing.

I like that my body knows how much insulin to make if I eat a Girl Scout cookie, or a salad; how much bile to make if I eat a french fry or a banana. I like how there are zillions of bacteria living in my belly that digest my food and release the nutrients into my bloodstream. I like how natural foods contain the enzymes necessary for our bodies to break them down. How smart is that?

Overall, it's a pretty awesome system.

These days, mine's taken some hits and not worked as perfectly as I'd like and I'm a little frustrated, but given the issues that some of my friends have -- I lost a friend last year to leukemia and will likely lose another to adrenal cancer this year -- I feel pretty blessed.


----------



## olwen (Mar 3, 2011)

Sorry to hear about your friends Vickie. When thought about that way, then you're right. It's awesome that our bodies work as well as they do when they do. 

I just hate to hear other women criticize themselves so harshly. This is just something I've really noticed enough for it to bother me. I've been talking to my therapist about it and she says that given all the stuff I've been thru in my life (like dealing with crappy parents, and then having to do most of the parenting to a baby while I was still a kid, working my way thru school, and being fat) it's not surprising to her that these sorts of worries haven't been foremost in my mind all these years. Now that my life is a bit more stable I'm just starting to notice the kinds of things other people go thru - like this body image stuff - and I'm just kinda shocked at the sheer number of women for whom this is enough of a problem to keep them from living productive lives....like, I've noticed it, but not enough to consider it. I just want to know that there are other women who don't let it get in the way of just living.


----------



## badassdebate (Mar 9, 2011)

I am finding the more I gain and enjoy what my body does and can give me, the better I feel about myself ! I don't think it's strange to decide to not listen to the negativity and instead focus on your own personal beauty. Not every person is going to be attractive to everyone else, but at least you should see beauty in yourself....and that is the way it should be!! So to make myself enjoy this fat body even more, I am going to do a lot of :eat1:

:wubu:


----------



## 1love_emily (Apr 9, 2011)

I like my body  Yes I do. I don't want to gain or lose any... I like myself just like I am.


----------



## herin (Apr 9, 2011)

I love myself and that includes my body. Are there things I would change? Yes. But I definitely do not suffer from any kind of shame or self-hatred due to my weight.


----------



## penguin (Apr 9, 2011)

I'm loving my body more and more


----------



## tinkerbell (Apr 10, 2011)

I love myself, my body, everything about me. I'm an awesome, hot, beautiful, sexy, smart, kind, and every other good word out there, woman. 

My weight doesn't define who I am anymore. 

I don't love my body because of its weight/size/fat. I love it because its _mine._


----------



## superodalisque (Apr 10, 2011)

tinkerbell said:


> I love myself, my body, everything about me. I'm an awesome, hot, beautiful, sexy, smart, kind, and every other good word out there, woman.
> 
> My weight doesn't define who I am anymore.
> 
> I don't love my body because of its weight/size/fat. I love it because its _mine._



this is so wonderful!


----------



## tinkerbell (Apr 10, 2011)

superodalisque said:


> this is so wonderful!



 Thanks! Its taken me years to get to this point. I wish I could go back in time and teach this to my teenage self.


----------

