# BBW Bash Etiquette Rules



## JRZCKR (Mar 21, 2010)

Ok, I think this is long overdue. It turns out, after going to the NJ BBW Bash, there are plenty of unwritten rules to follow in order to enjoy yourself and avoid getting burned. I have a couple of rules, but I would love to hear some other rules anyone would like to offer.

1. Ladies, DO NOT assume that a guy is looking for a relationship with you if he is single and acting like a nice guy towards you.

2. Guys, DO NOT assume that if a woman is single, a webmodel, and friendly towards you that she would be into you.

3. Everyone, DO NOT assume that just because a woman is not single that she is off limits OR if she is single, that she is fair game.


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## Weirdo890 (Mar 21, 2010)

JRZCKR said:


> Ok, I think this is long overdue. It turns out, after going to the NJ BBW Bash, there are plenty of unwritten rules to follow in order to enjoy yourself and avoid getting burned. I have a couple of rules, but I would love to hear some other rules anyone would like to offer.
> 
> 1. Ladies, DO NOT assume that a guy is looking for a relationship with you if he is single and acting like a nice guy towards you.
> 
> ...



I'll keep these in mind when I'm at a bash. I wonder what I could add to this. Just basic rules of manners and etiquette might help.


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## verucassault (Mar 21, 2010)

these sounds like rules for everyday life, no?
i was taught that whole thing about not assuming stuff in general cause of the ass consiquences.


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## Blackjack (Mar 21, 2010)

Here's an easy one-

DO NOT assume that the bashes are all about looking for a partner/hookup.


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## FA Punk (Mar 21, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> Here's an easy one-
> 
> DO NOT assume that the bashes are all about looking for a partner/hookup.



Then whats the hell is the point of going then haha!?

I can't ad anything to the rules dudes cause I've never been to a Bash myself, but I will say this, When and if you do hit on somebody be polite about it alright. If the girl/guy isn't into thats cool just move on. Also you might want to try and befriend that person if possible, I mean just because he/she doesn't think your all that doesn't mean he/she doesn't have a friend who would think other wise.


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## Fallenangel2904 (Mar 21, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> Here's an easy one-
> 
> DO NOT assume that the bashes are all about looking for a partner/hookup.



So true! A lot of people go just to let loose, be themselves and have good time with friends. Not looking for anything more then that.

Basically you just shouldn't assume anything bottom line. Just go with no expectations looking to have some fun!


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## indy500tchr (Mar 21, 2010)

JRZCKR said:


> 3. Everyone, DO NOT assume that just because a woman is not single that she is off limits OR if she is single, that she is fair game.




I don't know if I agree with the first part of this one. I certainly wouldn't want girls hitting on my boyfriend knowing that he was taken. Also it sounds kinda skeezy to think that men and women would cheat b/c they are at a Bash.


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## Wild Zero (Mar 21, 2010)

Rule no. 1: If no one can see see, stroke that pee pee.


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## Carrie (Mar 21, 2010)

Wild Zero said:


> Rule no. 1: If no one can see see, stroke that pee pee.


And just covering your eyes doesn't count as no one see-seeing you.


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## Wild Zero (Mar 21, 2010)

Rule no. 2: Be an even bigger weirdo in the pool, there are no laws in international waters.


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## exile in thighville (Mar 21, 2010)

don't act like an asshole if a girl you're talking to leaves with someone else. other people notice. there is literally tons of beauty at these things. man up and move on.

and bang everyone.


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## Ruby Ripples (Mar 21, 2010)

indy500tchr said:


> I don't know if I agree with the first part of this one. I certainly wouldn't want girls hitting on my boyfriend knowing that he was taken. Also it sounds kinda skeezy to think that men and women would cheat b/c they are at a Bash.



Ive never been to a bash yet even I know that some of the married women are swingers, and have sex with other guys at the bashes. Same goes for men too Im sure.


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## activistfatgirl (Mar 21, 2010)

I'm fairly sex-positive, so I'd like to say that what happens at the bash should mostly stay at the bash unless it's an atta-girl/boy. Just 'cause someone hooks up with someone else doesn't make them bad people. It's their damn bodies.

(Spoken by the bash virgin. And I've been to a bash or two! )


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## bigsexy920 (Mar 21, 2010)

I can think of a few things but Im sure I shouldnt say.


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## TCUBOB (Mar 21, 2010)

There are only a couple of rules:

1) Don't be a dick (or the female equivalent thereof). Everyone's there for a good time; don't mistake that for everyone being there for YOUR good time.

2) Take things in stride. Guess what? There will be another one. Someone will get you a paper bag to breathe into while you settle down and deal with the face that something DID NOT GO THE WAY YOU WANTED. (note: this apparently does not apply to any Bashes in Nov/Dec 2011 if you follow the Mayan calendar; please feel free to panic/freak out appropriately if you do. Me? I'm a Gregorian guy, so I figure we've got a few thousand more years at least. I'm keeping my powder dry)

3) Meet people. Always the hardest for me, because I'm shy. No, really, I'm an introvert according to Myers-Briggs. Seriously. Ok, stop laughing at me, that's just rude now! 

4) I reserve the right to add additional rules as appropriate, assuming approval by the Council on Foreign Relations, the Trilateral Commission, the Politburo and the Stonebreakers. Or other people can just chime in, whatever. It's kind of an informal process.


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## Blackjack (Mar 22, 2010)

Oh, and by the way, you're generally more attractive when you're not slobberingly drunk.


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## exile in thighville (Mar 22, 2010)

don't be judgmental of people who come to the bash to fuck. especially women. they get enough shit.

there are better seduction methods than shit-talking other FAs. just saying.

grabbing a paysite model by the belly and telling her you have all her videos is a dandy pick-up line. try it.

if you're blind, feel up everything. EVERYTHING.


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## Red (Mar 22, 2010)

exile in thighville said:


> if you're blind, feel up everything. EVERYTHING.





 Hahah, oh my word, this made me giggle.


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## TCUBOB (Mar 22, 2010)

Yes, I'm wearing these Ray-Bans indoors because...I got my eyes dilated today and I'm temporarily blind and not because I'm trying to look like Tom Cruise in Risky Business, only 1' 4" taller?

I could see Mini pulling that off....



exile in thighville said:


> don't be judgmental of people who come to the bash to fuck. especially women. they get enough shit.
> 
> there are better seduction methods than shit-talking other FAs. just saying.
> 
> ...


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## rollhandler (Mar 22, 2010)

If a woman tells you she isn't interested in further conversation, that is NOT an indication that you should try harder or continue to pester her into further conversation, following her around like a stalker because YOU find her attractive. If you ask her to dance and she isn't interested, No means No and go away should not have to be explained or said more than the one time.
This type of behaviour is aggressive,boorish, and pushy and in the real world yields restraining orders, not dates.
Rollhandler

PS to women. If a guy is behaving this way he is probably counting on your passive nature to allow his badgering to continue, not wanting to hurt his feelings etc. By this time you probably know his name, have said no, followed it further with total bluntness, and moved on only to have him badger you further. Don't be afraid to mention his behaviour to the event staff.
Rollhandler


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## fatgirlflyin (Mar 22, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> Oh, and by the way, you're generally more attractive when you're not slobberingly drunk.



Is that what I'm doing wrong?


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## fatgirlflyin (Mar 22, 2010)

exile in thighville said:


> don't be judgmental of people who come to the bash to fuck. especially women. they get enough shit.
> .



This is a GOOD one, what's funny is that it's women who are usually most judgmental of people who go to the bash just to fuck.


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## Paquito (Mar 22, 2010)

In order to have sex at the bash, you must create a thread so that people can sign up.

I guess Mini wins again.


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## Jon Blaze (Mar 22, 2010)

Mini always wins. lol


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## indy500tchr (Mar 22, 2010)

Ruby Ripples said:


> Ive never been to a bash yet even I know that some of the married women are swingers, and have sex with other guys at the bashes. Same goes for men too Im sure.



Oh Katy I totally agree with you there but if they were swingers they are technically not single but somewhat available. I was just kinda bothered by his assumptions.


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## wrestlingguy (Mar 22, 2010)

Berna is a bit reluctant to say what's on her mind, coming off the bash weekend. I however, am not. I'm almost sorry this isn't posted in another forum somewhere here, where more people can see this.

Generally, we're happy campers after an event like the New Jersey Bash. While we were happy with the turnout in a still depressed economy, some things of note took place over the course of the weekend that make me want to add to this list.

*For the guys:*

1. It's generally known that more women attend these events than men do. You don't need to act like you know that.

2. With regard to the paysite girls, remember that the names that you know are *products,* not the real people. When you attend a bash, keep in mind that girls become webmodels for many different reasons, not just because they wanted to meet YOU. Many have boyfriends or husbands, and you should respect that in your dealings with them.

3. Why just focus on the paysite girls when there are so many other pretty and nice girls who attend the bashes? Odds are the webmodels probably aren't interested in you, and most of you guys zip past all of these other fine women in hopes that your favorite paysite girl will say hello to you. 

4. "Sponsoring" someone for an event doesn't mean that you own her for the weekend. Just because you pay a girl's bash fee, or a hotel room, or airfare, it doesn't mean that they are obligated to you. If that's what you're looking for, you should be up front, so there's no misunderstanding of what your expectations are.

5. Guys who come to these events are here because of a sexual attraction, plain and simple. That sexual attraction should not lead you to think that just because you want to bang/feed/etc..... a woman that she automatically wants to do the same. 


*For the ladies:*

1. If someone offers to "sponsor" you for an event, make sure they understand what YOUR intentions are, as well as determining what theirs are as well. You should have a meeting of the minds before you accept anything from a guy.

2. Some of the nicest guys that I met at the bash got no play from a lot of the women. I never understood this, except to say that I've noticed that a lot of the girls look at nice guys as not very exciting, compared with the players. It's usually a bad choice, and makes the good guys feel like shit.

3. Lots of new guys attended our last event. Ladies, you have an opportunity to shape how these guys act going forward. I realize there's no obligation to "help" them along their FA path, but if you choose not to, don't come complaining to me when they turn into asshats later on.


*General Bash Etiquette Rules*

1. Drinking is fun. Puke drunk is not. Do the math. Same is true with weed, and other recreational drugs. In private, fine......in public.........well.....................not so much.

2. *Treat other people with respect.* Over the years we've had women badgered about posing for paysites, women who bury parts of their anatomy in guys faces to get their attention, guys who buy all kinds of shit for girls, then press them for sex. Honestly, I don't need to know what happens when a hotel door closes, but when this stuff goes on during events where the goal is to help create a sense of community, the few hairs left on the back of my neck stand up.

3. *Attendance.* Showing up at the hotel and staying in your room all weekend does not constitute attending the bash. It's like going to a party and sitting in the corner. If you're going to do this, please don't bother to come.

4. *Reservations.* It costs a substantial amount of money to run the bash. We don't get the hotel, the DJ, the food, and hotel security for free. We have to give the hotel a count of heads for food, etc. prior to the event that we can guarantee. The hotel caters based on those numbers. If those numbers change, it can be costly. Bumping the numbers up at the last minute causes the hotel to charge us more per head due to the additions. On the other hand, we have to pay for people who say they're coming, and never show up. Case in point, we had a guy who reserved for the dinner on Saturday night who never came. We paid the hotel for his dinner, despite the fact that he wasn't there. I saw him later after the dance, and asked him what happened. He said he fell asleep and missed dinner. That's cool, but today I saw that he had dinner with some friends and simply skipped our dinner and never bothered to tell us. He wasn't the only one. It's costly to us, and makes me want to go to a system where you have to pay for ALL the events whether you attend them or not. We are still the lowest priced bash in the country, and the best value, please don't make us change how we do things, because the end result could potentially be higher bash costs.

5. *Hospitality Suite*. We had a rash of people who didn't attend any of the weekend itinerary sit in the lobby, and later in the hospitality suite, where they ate and drank at our cost, even though they didn't support our work in any way by actually paying and coming to events. Some people actually broke into the hospitality suite and STOLE snacks and sodas during the dance. One person brought a cheesecake for their friends in the hospitality suite, only to have a few people sneak behind the counter and take the cake without asking. It's rude, and shows a lack of respect for our efforts.




Berna and I work hard to put this together. Some of you have been with us right from the start almost 4 years ago. We appreciate you, and thank you for supporting what we do. It just seemed that at this last event, there was some general disrespect for us, and our efforts based on what I've written above. I realize that a lot of people had to cancel at the last minute this time out because of finances, the recession, personal issues, etc. Those reasons are understandable, and most of you got to us in time to let us know, so we could change the final food counts for the hotel. The problem I have is with the people who never bothered to contact us. It costs us money when that happens, and as much as I love this community, it's never been my intention to lose money because of this community.

Sorry if I'm pissing in everyone's Cheerios a day after the bash is over, but I saw this thread and felt a need to bring it all up.


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## Scarlette (Mar 22, 2010)

THANK YOU PHIL for hitting the nail on alot of things I wanted to say but well, wasn't sure how to say it without sounding like a snob etc etc


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## Blackjack (Mar 22, 2010)

wrestlingguy said:


> 1. Drinking is fun. Puke drunk is not. Do the math. Same is true with weed, and other recreational drugs. In private, fine......in public.........well.....................not so much.



And for the record, if it's weed or anything else that has a smell, your hotel room is *NOT* private. That shit stinks up the halls. Last year I damn near puked while walking down one of the corridors because it was so strong.


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## exile in thighville (Mar 22, 2010)

fatgirlflyin said:


> This is a GOOD one, what's funny is that it's women who are usually most judgmental of people who go to the bash just to fuck.



in my experience yes. i'm sure a fair amount of men think they are whores, but thankfully i don't really know any men.


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## exile in thighville (Mar 22, 2010)

wrestlingguy said:


> Lots of new guys attended our last event. Ladies, you have an opportunity to shape how these guys act going forward. I realize there's no obligation to "help" them along their FA path, but if you choose not to, don't come complaining to me when they turn into asshats later on.



HEY MODS

I WANT TO EMBLAZON THIS SCRAP OF EARNED GENIUS IN MY SIGNATURE BUT FOR SOME UNKNOWN GODFORSAKEN REASON THE BOARD HAS INSTITUTED A SIGNATURE LIMIT SHORTER THAN ME

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS


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## JRZCKR (Mar 22, 2010)

2. Some of the nicest guys that I met at the bash got no play from a lot of the women. I never understood this, except to say that I've noticed that a lot of the girls look at nice guys as not very exciting, compared with the players. It's usually a bad choice, and makes the good guys feel like shit.

Truer words never spoken with this one. Often this is the reason nice guys finish last. Still, not a deterrant for me. Look forward to more posts and parties in the future.


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## MizzSnakeBite (Mar 22, 2010)

JRZCKR said:


> 2. Some of the nicest guys that I met at the bash got no play from a lot of the women. I never understood this, except to say that I've noticed that a lot of the girls look at nice guys as not very exciting, compared with the players. It's usually a bad choice, and makes the good guys feel like shit.
> 
> Truer words never spoken with this one. Often this is the reason nice guys finish last. Still, not a deterrant for me. Look forward to more posts and parties in the future.



This is very true, but I must add, that often the nicest women are often left in the dust too.


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## JRZCKR (Mar 23, 2010)

Which of these nicest women eft in the dust do you speak of? Next time I'm there, I'll ask that you point them out to me so they are no longer left in the dust, provided they are single.


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## MizzSnakeBite (Mar 23, 2010)

JRZCKR said:


> Which of these nicest women eft in the dust do you speak of? Next time I'm there, I'll ask that you point them out to me so they are no longer left in the dust, provided they are single.



I wasn't there, I was speaking in general.  If littlefairywren was there, I'd drag you to her! She's an Aussie so she won't be there.  lol

Just like life, in Dims, often the nice ones are left to the wayside for the more "exciting" ones.


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## toni (Mar 23, 2010)

JRZCKR said:


> 2. Some of the nicest guys that I met at the bash got no play from a lot of the women. I never understood this, except to say that I've noticed that a lot of the girls look at nice guys as not very exciting, compared with the players. It's usually a bad choice, and makes the good guys feel like shit.
> 
> Truer words never spoken with this one. Often this is the reason nice guys finish last. Still, not a deterrant for me. Look forward to more posts and parties in the future.



HA! I hope you are not trying to apply this to yourself.


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## UWSGuy (Mar 23, 2010)

damn I really really wanted to go to this one but really couldn't swing it

now reading this thread makes me wish I had been able to go twice as much

when's the next one???


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## BigBeautifulMe (Mar 23, 2010)

They happen in the spring and the fall. So probably October.


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## exile in thighville (Mar 23, 2010)

isn't there usually memorial day shiz?


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## KHayes666 (Mar 23, 2010)

exile in thighville said:


> isn't there usually memorial day shiz?



Oh yes, that will be one you don't want to miss. Its gonna be a blast!


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## exile in thighville (Mar 23, 2010)

i've already stolen the cake


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## LisaInNC (Mar 23, 2010)

Wait wait wait...I talk to everyone, and the "nice" guys will run you over mid conversation to get to a webmodel. So, its not fair to say that no ones talks to the "nice" guys when the "nice" guys could careless to talk to someone who doesnt take her clothes off for the general public. (This is NOT a derogatory statement towards webmodels)


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## wrestlingguy (Mar 23, 2010)

LisaInNC said:


> Wait wait wait...I talk to everyone, and the "nice" guys will run you over mid conversation to get to a webmodel. So, its not fair to say that no ones talks to the "nice" guys when the "nice" guys could careless to talk to someone who doesnt take her clothes off for the general public. (This is NOT a derogatory statement towards webmodels)



If they do that, then they wouldn't be "nice", would they?


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## LisaInNC (Mar 23, 2010)

wrestlingguy said:


> If they do that, then they wouldn't be "nice", would they?



LOL Thats why I keep putting it in quotations. Those are the self proclaimed nice guys who bitch and moan about no one talking to them. What they MEAN is, no one they want to talk to, talks to them.


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## OneWickedAngel (Mar 23, 2010)

exile in thighville said:


> isn't there usually memorial day shiz?





KHayes666 said:


> Oh yes, that will be one you don't want to miss. Its gonna be a blast!



Phil & Berna hold their Spring Weekend (March/April) and Fall Weekend (October) Mini-Bashes in New Jersey.

Heather - Heavenly Bodies host Memorial Weekend (May) and Labor Day Weekend (September) Mini-Bashes in Massachusetts.


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## LisaInNC (Mar 23, 2010)

OneWickedAngel said:


> Phil & Berna hold their Spring Weekend (March/April) and Fall Weekend (October) Mini-Bashes in New Jersey.
> 
> Heather - Heavenly Bodies host Memorial Weekend (May) and Labor Day Weekend (September) Mini-Bashes in Massachusetts.



I am sorry...did you say something? I was mesmerized by your lips...they look..so..... kissable :kiss2:


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## BigBeautifulMe (Mar 23, 2010)

Lisa - LMAO. 

*innocent whistle*

Ahem. 

---------------

Dan - Good job, pointing that out. Yes, I need to start attending HB events again. It's just that I used to spend more time in Dims chat than anywhere else, and more chatters attend the NJ bashes = that's what I go to, since I can only usually afford to attend one every six months or so. If I could afford it, I'd be at everything!!!


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## OneWickedAngel (Mar 23, 2010)

LisaInNC said:


> I am sorry...did you say something? I was mesmerized by your lips...they look..so..... kissable :kiss2:





BigBeautifulMe said:


> Lisa - LMAO.
> 
> *innocent whistle*
> 
> ...



AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You both need to...(don't) stop!!!


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## toni (Mar 23, 2010)

LisaInNC said:


> LOL Thats why I keep putting it in quotations. Those are the self proclaimed nice guys who bitch and moan about no one talking to them. What they MEAN is, no one they want to talk to, talks to them.



EXACTLY!!!!


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## BigBeautifulMe (Mar 23, 2010)

And Lisa, I'd have to agree with what Toni quoted above. That's happened to me more than once. Doesn't matter how pretty you are, if you don't have a site, forget it.  Of course, on the flip side, it must be frustrating being a paysite model and not being able to just relax and enjoy yourself with your friends without 80,000 guys coming up to you and hitting on you solely because they like the person you *seem to be* on your paysite.


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## phoenix92901 (Mar 23, 2010)

First of all, Phil, thanks so much to you and Berna for such a fun event. This was my second bash and I'm already looking forward to the next.

I agree with all your points and wanted to add my 2 cents even though I'm a relative newbie.

Some of the men made it extremely obvious that they were on the prowl for sex... that whole "fat girls are desperate" vibe. YUCK!!! I was even told about one who was so sure about scoring that he didn't bother to get room and wound up roaming the hallways during the wee hours of Saturday morning looking for a place to crash. 

As for respect.... absolute key! Maybe some would consider me a prude but I don't want to see things going on in public places like the pool that should be done behind closed doors. Again, YUCK!!! I wonder if that's why it smelled like the hotel put more chlorine in the water than usual, to kill whatever was going to float around in there.


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## phoenix92901 (Mar 23, 2010)

LisaInNC said:


> Wait wait wait...I talk to everyone, and the "nice" guys will run you over mid conversation to get to a webmodel. So, its not fair to say that no ones talks to the "nice" guys when the "nice" guys could careless to talk to someone who doesnt take her clothes off for the general public. (This is NOT a derogatory statement towards webmodels)



Lisa, who wouldn't want to talk to you? I'm only sorry we didn't get to talk more over the weekend. You're an absolute delight or should I say an absolute pisser? Either way, you're fun!


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## fatgirlflyin (Mar 23, 2010)

wrestlingguy said:


> 3. Lots of new guys attended our last event. Ladies, you have an opportunity to shape how these guys act going forward. I realize there's no obligation to "help" them along their FA path, but if you choose not to, don't come complaining to me when they turn into asshats later on.



I agree with the majority of your post, but this I disagree with. I disagree that it is our responsibility to teach men (FA's) how to behave, that responsibility lies with their parents. Thin women aren't told that going to the club serves as an opportunity to teach the men who find them attractive how to behave, so why should that rule apply to fat women?


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## Littleghost (Mar 23, 2010)

fatgirlflyin said:


> I agree with the majority of your post, but this I disagree with. I disagree that it is our responsibility to teach men (FA's) how to behave, that responsibility lies with their parents. Thin women aren't told that going to the club serves as an opportunity to teach the men who find them attractive how to behave, so why should that rule apply to fat women?



He said opportunity, not responsibility. And it's a good point to some degree, but I doubt it will play out very well. Some guys (or people) won't wise up until it's knocked into them and will just move on if they encounter resistance. Then again, I can be a bit cynical.


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## wrestlingguy (Mar 23, 2010)

fatgirlflyin said:


> I agree with the majority of your post, but this I disagree with. I disagree that it is our responsibility to teach men (FA's) how to behave, that responsibility lies with their parents. Thin women aren't told that going to the club serves as an opportunity to teach the men who find them attractive how to behave, so why should that rule apply to fat women?



no one has a responsibility to do ANYTHING to help another person improve themselves in life, although it would be a better world if we did (and that means I agree with you, Ginny)

My other point is not that you hold someone by the hand and coddle them. Quite the contrary. I think dropping an anvil on a guy's dick is a perfect way to move him along his path a bit quicker. Too many guys get away with too much, because some poor simp of a BBW is even appreciative of "asshole attention" as being better than no attention.

To me, that seems like the solution, that is, to make sure these guys know they are creeps. Also, to me, if you aren't part of the solution, you're part of the problem, so I don't hear your complaints when you ask for my help.

Case in point. Several events ago, minor web model gets her trip to the NJ Bash paid for by some random FA creep. She accepts, knowing full well what a creep he is, but wants to come to the bash. Now, random FA creep assumes he's gonna have a happy ending at some point over the bash weekend, but minor web model doesn't share that concept, since after all, the guy is a creep.

So, the morning after the pool party, the minor web model comes looking to me for help, and while I feel bad about the situation, I do nothing, because I have no empathy for a person who would accept something like that from a creep. Take it one step further.....let's say she "accomodated" the guy over the weekend. Now FA creep begins to think it's okay to do shit like this, and paints a broad strike with his creep brush over the BBW community. He's not discouraged by the hundreds who turn him down, he's ENCOURAGED by the few who are receptive to the creep offer.

The hammer has to hit hard for this random FA dude to realize what a creep he is. I used to run Carla's MySpace and Yahoo pages, and I'd respond back to guys in kind, depending on what they said to her/me. If they were extra descriptive, I would write back as Carla, asking them if they talked in front of their mothers that way, or what would they do if they heard someone talking to their mom like that. Some guys would apologize and move on.

And that's my point. You don't have to be their therapist. You don't have to do anything except tell them when they're doing or saying something that oversteps the boundaries you set. I did it as Asshley, so I'm struggling to understand why there is resistance to this concept.


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## fatgirlflyin (Mar 23, 2010)

You're right he said opportunity. I go out to clubs both fat and non fat, and when I'm there I am just looking to have a good time drinking and dancing with my friends. While I may have an opportuity to teach the guy who's trolling or can't take no for an answer that its not cool to do those things, why should I? 
That's not what I am there for so why should I ruin my good time to educate some stranger? I won't and don't feel anyone else should have to either. If a man comes up to me and behaves like an ass I'm going to complain about it, I have every right to. If the club owner or promoter then tells me he doesn't want to hear it because I didn't take the opportunity to educate poor little misunderstood Joe, well that's not a club I would go back to. 


Littleghost said:


> He said opportunity, not responsibility. And it's a good point to some degree, but I doubt it will play out very well. Some guys (or people) won't wise up until it's knocked into them and will just move on if they encounter resistance. Then again, I can be a bit cynical.


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## AnnMarie (Mar 23, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> And Lisa, I'd have to agree with what Toni quoted above. That's happened to me more than once. Doesn't matter how pretty you are, if you don't have a site, forget it.  Of course, on the flip side, it must be frustrating being a paysite model and not being able to just relax and enjoy yourself with your friends without 80,000 guys coming up to you and hitting on you solely because they like the person you *seem to be* on your paysite.



I don't want to derail this, but the other very tangible side to being doing any modeling is that more often than not guys are way to intimidated to come and even say hello to you - so honestly, it's a grass is always greener issue.


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## Littleghost (Mar 23, 2010)

fatgirlflyin said:


> You're right he said opportunity. I go out to clubs both fat and non fat, and when I'm there I am just looking to have a good time drinking and dancing with my friends. While I may have an opportuity to teach the guy who's trolling or can't take no for an answer that its not cool to do those things, why should I?
> That's not what I am there for so why should I ruin my good time to educate some stranger? I won't and don't feel anyone else should have to either. If a man comes up to me and behaves like an ass I'm going to complain about it, I have every right to. If the club owner or promoter then tells me he doesn't want to hear it because I didn't take the opportunity to educate poor little misunderstood Joe, well that's not a club I would go back to.



You _shouldn't_ have to, that's the point. But because it's a bit of a different environment than a regular club, it's going to be constant issue especially if people don't do anything about it. To put it in a rough analogy, sure it's not your trash in the park and other people get paid to pick it up, but if people don't do anything when they see someone littering, it's not going to be a great place to hang around much. I dunno.


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## superodalisque (Mar 23, 2010)

if you are actually looking for a relationahip never hook up at a bash. its an unreal situation. reality happens at your house.


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## wrestlingguy (Mar 23, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> if you are actually looking for a relationahip never hook up at a bash. its an unreal situation. reality happens at your house.




True, but I also am aware of people talking prior to a BBW event, and agreeing to meet there. To me, that's what "hooking up" means. If you just mean sex, I think both people have to have clear expectations of what the sex involves, and be willing to share with each other.

So, if people talk first, then agree to meet at a bash, why would that be an unreal situation? For me, that would be an excellent test of how they would behave in a relationship.

Here's a good example. Someone I know agreed to meet a guy at one of our events. She knew he was married, but blew that off as unimportant, since he was married to a small woman. They liked each other enough to get together.

So he gets there, and now he's like a fisherman casting his reel in the most stocked lake he's ever seen. She got hurt as a result, but saved herself the agony of being involved with a scrotum like this guy by seeing how he views women in this community. A good guy would have been by her side the entire weekend, not disappearing for hours at a clip.

In your model, Felicia, one wouldn't have been able to see that this guy was a dog until they had already gotten involved. By then the emotional investment would cause more harm than necessary.


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## exile in thighville (Mar 24, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> if you are actually looking for a relationahip never hook up at a bash.



depends what you mean by looking. i'd say bash-goers should look to make what i'll call "good romantic acquaintances".

hooked up at a bash. then we went to another bash together. then we started taking trips to see each other. we were not exclusive. eventually it became apparent that we were the most stable and consistently enjoyable relationship in each other's lives. we were more than familiar with the route to visit each other and the cost, how long it takes, how often and when to arrange it. then we went to another bash and i asked her out formally. next month we celebrate our one-year.


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## mossystate (Mar 24, 2010)

wrestlingguy said:


> She got hurt as a result, but saved herself the agony of being involved with a scrotum like this guy by seeing how he views women in this community. A good guy would have been by her side the entire weekend, not disappearing for hours at a clip.



That is a perfectly horrible example. The situation was clear from the get-go. The guy had already cast his net. He was hoping to bag a fat woman, and then he saw the stocked lake. She knew and had no room to whine. They sound like a perfect match. Bad example.


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## lovely_plumper (Mar 24, 2010)

Ruby Ripples said:


> Ive never been to a bash yet even I know that some of the married women are swingers, and have sex with other guys at the bashes. Same goes for men too Im sure.



yeah so very true! and some couples make the decisions together to swing probably just for that one night! 

not assuming is a good thing to do, I have known not to do that since I was a kid and it's always been good. 

something I would like to add...

ASK someone if they would like to dance, don't just ASSUME that if someone is dancing alone or just with friends that they want you joining in. Now that doesn't mean they wouldn't want you joining but be respectful and ask.


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## exile in thighville (Mar 24, 2010)

i think that's what he said


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## mossystate (Mar 24, 2010)

_So, if people talk first, then agree to meet at a bash, why would that be an unreal situation? For me, that would be an excellent test of how they would behave in a relationship._

This does not fit with the example. The people in the example were already in an ' unreal ' situation. Him being married told her what kind of ' relationship ' they had/would have. He is a scrotum, and who the fuck cares that she got ' hurt '. Now, those who go to bashes and are not assholes going in...those are the people who could be given a good wake-up call.


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## MisticalMisty (Mar 24, 2010)

wrestlingguy said:


> True, but I also am aware of people talking prior to a BBW event, and agreeing to meet there. To me, that's what "hooking up" means. If you just mean sex, I think both people have to have clear expectations of what the sex involves, and be willing to share with each other.
> 
> So, if people talk first, then agree to meet at a bash, why would that be an unreal situation? For me, that would be an excellent test of how they would behave in a relationship.
> 
> ...


If he were a good guy, he would have been at home with his wife..

Maybe it was a bit of karma for her...I'm sure if the shoe were on the other foot, she'd like to be able to trust her husband not to go fuck some stranger.


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## Tau (Mar 24, 2010)

I don't understand people who get upset when they hook up with married men. He's cheating on his wife so that means he's so gona cheat on you.

Also chicks who bitch and moan when a dude spends money on them and then expects all access in return?? The fact that most men are like this irritates the living crap out of me but come on!! We all know this! This is why I hardly ever accept drinks from men in clubs unless they are somebody I don't mind following me around the club for the rest of the night; and never let a guy pay for accomodation, travel etc unless we have agreed upfront that he's not getting any and he's just doing this out of the goodness of his heart - or I actually want to do him. Seems really simple to me - I'm not sure I understand where the misunderstanding comes from.


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## fatgirlflyin (Mar 24, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> if you are actually looking for a relationahip never hook up at a bash. its an unreal situation. reality happens at your house.



I met D at an event, I wasn't looking for a relationship but it found me. We've been togethere 8 years now. I wouldn't suggest for anyone to go to a bbw event to find a mate, but then I wouldn't suggest a skinny girl go to a bar to find a boyfriend either.


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## fatgirlflyin (Mar 24, 2010)

Tau said:


> I don't understand people who get upset when they hook up with married men. He's cheating on his wife so that means he's so gona cheat on you.
> 
> Also chicks who bitch and moan when a dude spends money on them and then expects all access in return?? The fact that most men are like this irritates the living crap out of me but come on!! We all know this! This is why I hardly ever accept drinks from men in clubs unless they are somebody I don't mind following me around the club for the rest of the night; and never let a guy pay for accomodation, travel etc unless we have agreed upfront that he's not getting any and he's just doing this out of the goodness of his heart - or I actually want to do him. Seems really simple to me - I'm not sure I understand where the misunderstanding comes from.





Agreed, I have seen women in the chat room and even on the boards hint around or even blatantly ask for men to pay their way to these events and it pretty much disgusts me. How can someone seriously be so stupid as to think these men aren't going to expect something in return. What makes me sad is to think that they are going to continue to take money like this and eventually are going to find a man who won't take no for an answer. What then?


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## fatgirlflyin (Mar 24, 2010)

Littleghost said:


> You _shouldn't_ have to, that's the point. But because it's a bit of a different environment than a regular club, it's going to be constant issue especially if people don't do anything about it. To put it in a rough analogy, sure it's not your trash in the park and other people get paid to pick it up, but if people don't do anything when they see someone littering, it's not going to be a great place to hang around much. I dunno.



I'm all for keeping the park clean, truly, and when I come in contact with trash I will certainly pick it up and throw it away. Are you suggesting though, that when I see garbage all the way on the other side of the park that I should go over there and get rid of it too? That's not my job, but it IS the job of the park staff, to keep the park a safe and enjoyable environment for all the people that PAY to enter it.


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## OneWickedAngel (Mar 24, 2010)

fatgirlflyin said:


> Agreed, I have seen women in the chat room and even on the boards hint around or even blatantly ask for men to pay their way to these events and it pretty much disgusts me. How can someone seriously be so stupid as to think these men aren't going to expect something in return. *What makes me sad is to think that they are going to continue to take money like this and eventually are going to find a man who won't take no for an answer. What then?*



I get the point you're trying to make FGF, I really do, but do you realize have just subconsciously (or perhaps with intent) declared if said woman is hurt, no let's not sugar coat it, if she is raped as a consequence of her actions "she brought it on herself"?


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## TraciJo67 (Mar 24, 2010)

Tau said:


> I don't understand people who get upset when they hook up with married men. He's cheating on his wife so that means he's so gona cheat on you.
> 
> Also chicks who bitch and moan when a dude spends money on them and then expects all access in return?? The fact that most men are like this irritates the living crap out of me but come on!! We all know this! This is why I hardly ever accept drinks from men in clubs unless they are somebody I don't mind following me around the club for the rest of the night; and never let a guy pay for accomodation, travel etc unless we have agreed upfront that he's not getting any and he's just doing this out of the goodness of his heart - or I actually want to do him. Seems really simple to me - I'm not sure I understand where the misunderstanding comes from.


 
I liked the part about how she felt that this was a quibbling detail since the wife is small. Or the part about how she got hurt but at least learned her lesson because she got to see what sort he really was at the bash. Hello? The wake-up call should have been "he's married and yet willing to hook up with me" not "well gee whiz, we're at this bash together and now he won't give me the time of day."

I don't know who Phil is referring to here ... I hope that it's a rhetorical situation. If not, I'm not sure what I'm more disgusted with ... the closet fatty lover or the woman who thinks so little of herself that she'd offer herself wholesale to a married creeper.


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## Littleghost (Mar 24, 2010)

fatgirlflyin said:


> I'm all for keeping the park clean, truly, and when I come in contact with trash I will certainly pick it up and throw it away. Are you suggesting though, that when I see garbage all the way on the other side of the park that I should go over there and get rid of it too? That's not my job, but it IS the job of the park staff, to keep the park a safe and enjoyable environment for all the people that PAY to enter it.



No, I'm pretty sure we agree on all the important points, it just got turned around.
Don't forget to feed the ducks, though, it's fun _and _free!


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## fatgirlflyin (Mar 24, 2010)

OneWickedAngel said:


> I get the point you're trying to make FGF, I really do, but do you realize have just subconsciously (or perhaps with intent) declared if said woman is hurt, no let's not sugar coat it, if she is raped as a consequence of her actions "she brought it on herself"?



No that isn't what I'm saying at all, I said that eventually she was going to come across someone who wouldn't take no for an answer. 

That is not saying, not even close to saying that she would deserve to be raped.


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## MisticalMisty (Mar 24, 2010)

fatgirlflyin said:


> No that isn't what I'm saying at all, I said that eventually she was going to come across someone who wouldn't take no for an answer.
> 
> That is not saying, not even close to saying that she would deserve to be raped.



I knew that's not what you meant as well. I didn't feel that it was implied either.

I think it comes down to being smart about what you're doing with yourself and only you can keep yourself safe. *general you of course*


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## BigBeautifulMe (Mar 24, 2010)

fatgirlflyin said:


> No that isn't what I'm saying at all, I said that eventually she was going to come across someone who wouldn't take no for an answer.
> 
> That is not saying, not even close to saying that she would deserve to be raped.


So if you didn't mean that, what does 'not taking no for an answer' mean? You know I like you, FGF, but I have to say that's how I read it, too.


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## wrestlingguy (Mar 24, 2010)

mossystate said:


> That is a perfectly horrible example. The situation was clear from the get-go. The guy had already cast his net. He was hoping to bag a fat woman, and then he saw the stocked lake. She knew and had no room to whine. They sound like a perfect match. Bad example.



Okay, all wise one, can you show me what a good example would be?


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## toni (Mar 24, 2010)

TraciJo67 said:


> I don't know who Phil is referring to here ... I hope that it's a rhetorical situation. If not, I'm not sure what I'm more disgusted with ... the closet fatty lover or the woman who thinks so little of herself that she'd offer herself wholesale to a married creeper.




I am disgusted with the closet fatty lover. It pisses me off that these men do not have the f*cking balls to man up and marry a fat chick. Yet they go around and prey off of the women in our community. I don't blame the chick. These men are pretty good at what they do. THey know exactly what to say and what buttons to push to get what they want. What annoys me most is it wasn't enough to screw with this poor girl's head, he had to go make his rounds through the bash. It makes me sick! :doh:


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## MisticalMisty (Mar 24, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> So if you didn't mean that, what does 'not taking no for an answer' mean? You know I like you, FGF, but I have to say that's how I read it, too.



When you take chances with your safety, you may or may not run across a man who won't take no for an answer.

That doesn't mean that anyone brought it upon themselves..it just means that your own safety should be priority over getting a "free" trip.


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## toni (Mar 24, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> So if you didn't mean that, what does 'not taking no for an answer' mean? You know I like you, FGF, but I have to say that's how I read it, too.



I think you are reading way too much into what she said. I understood what she meant. She is saying it is a dangerous game and one day someone won't take no for an answer. It is inevitable. Most men feel if they are paying your way, you are suppose to give it up. No where did she say she condoned it.


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## fatgirlflyin (Mar 24, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> So if you didn't mean that, what does 'not taking no for an answer' mean? You know I like you, FGF, but I have to say that's how I read it, too.



You can call me Ella, its ok. 

I absoultely was talking about getting raped. What I didn't say was that she would deserve it. I don't think anyone deserves to be raped, I think there ARE actions that people can take that make it more likely that they are raped. 

Stating that someone is doing something that puts themselves at risk isn't saying I think they deserve something bad to happen to them.


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## mossystate (Mar 24, 2010)

wrestlingguy said:


> Okay, all wise one, can you show me what a good example would be?



You first.


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## UWSGuy (Mar 24, 2010)

I think I might be a "random FA creep"

It's kind of cool! I think I could get into it!


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## Jes (Mar 24, 2010)

wrestlingguy said:


> Someone I know agreed to meet a guy at one of our events. She knew he was married, but blew that off as unimportant, since he was married to a small woman. .



Stay classy, New Jersey!


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## KHayes666 (Mar 24, 2010)

superodalisque said:


> if you are actually looking for a relationahip never hook up at a bash. its an unreal situation. reality happens at your house.



My first real "date" with my g/f was at the Halloween Bash/Dance. You could say we "hooked up" there. Not saying its a common theme but it is possible to find true love at these events.

Didn't Dan meet LunaLove at a bash too?


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## Carrie (Mar 24, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> My first real "date" with my g/f was at the Halloween Bash/Dance. You could say we "hooked up" there. Not saying its a common theme but it is possible to find true love at these events.
> 
> Didn't Dan meet LunaLove at a bash too?


A lot of couples have met at events. 

The way I see it is, don't attend an event with the single-minded goal of finding a partner. You're likely to miss a lot of fun and potential new friends when you're wearing MUST FIND A BF/GF blinders. Not to mention, that kind of intensity _can_ be somewhat off-putting to the very person you're interested in.


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## thatgirl08 (Mar 24, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> Didn't Dan meet LunaLove at a bash too?





exile in thighville said:


> hooked up at a bash. then we went to another bash together. then we started taking trips to see each other. we were not exclusive. eventually it became apparent that we were the most stable and consistently enjoyable relationship in each other's lives. we were more than familiar with the route to visit each other and the cost, how long it takes, how often and when to arrange it. then we went to another bash and i asked her out formally. next month we celebrate our one-year.



(yes)........


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## wrestlingguy (Mar 24, 2010)

mossystate said:


> You first.



Actually, I already did, even though you didn't think so. I hate to say this, but since it happened, it IS reality, despite you not seeing that.

So, by logic, since it happened, it IS reality. Maybe a bad analogy, but still reality, which is the reality I was responding to In SuperO's post.

Now c'mon, and give me a better example.......double dare you.


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## tonynyc (Mar 24, 2010)

Now things are getting interesting....


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## JRZCKR (Mar 24, 2010)

toni said:


> I am disgusted with the closet fatty lover. It pisses me off that these men do not have the f*cking balls to man up and marry a fat chick. Yet they go around and prey off of the women in our community. I don't blame the chick. These men are pretty good at what they do. THey know exactly what to say and what buttons to push to get what they want. What annoys me most is it wasn't enough to screw with this poor girl's head, he had to go make his rounds through the bash. It makes me sick! :doh:



Which buttons are the ones that the closet fatty lover pushes on the women in the BBW community? Mabye you can post a warnings as to what signs women can look out for so they dont fall prey to these fake FA predators. Lucky for me, I am way too lazy and way too forward with my intentions to be deceptive like that....Besides, I legitly am into the bigger body types anyways...

FYI...not wanting to marry a BBW doesnt necessarily have to have anything to do with being a closet FA...you could just hate what the institution of marriage stands for...like I do.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Mar 24, 2010)

So what you're saying is rape is inevitable if a woman continues to accept financial gifts from men and gives up nothing sexually in return. So you ARE saying HER actions determine whether or not someone sexually assaults her. That's ludicrous. It puts the responsibility on the shoulders of the woman, while at the same time absolving the rapist. Rape is NOT about a woman taking a gift from a man - it's about a psychopathic need for control.

It also does a disservice to the male gender to think this way.


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## mossystate (Mar 24, 2010)

wrestlingguy said:


> Actually, I already did, even though you didn't think so. I hate to say this, but since it happened, it IS reality, despite you not seeing that.
> 
> So, by logic, since it happened, it IS reality. Maybe a bad analogy, but still reality, which is the reality I was responding to In SuperO's post.
> 
> Now c'mon, and give me a better example.......double dare you.



It is a crappy example to give because the people in your example are not the same kind of situation as two people who really had no idea the basic attitude and nature of the person they were talking to, prior to the bash. 

Yes, it was a ' reality ', but what a wacky example to use. The people in your example were both assholes, going into it. They both knew the ' score '. It was dead in the water, in terms of anything decent happening, before they walked through the hotel doors. Why attach the labels you did...he is a scrotum...she is a victim. Guess I just don't live that kind of life. Wheeeee.
I am sure there are people who talk before the bash...get there...observe...see some rotten behavior...learn ( hopefully )...move on. That IS a good thing.


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## AnnMarie (Mar 24, 2010)

She's saying that if you continually put yourself in risky situations, things can happen. 

If you're going to keep walking down the side of a highway at night, you're PROBABLY going to get hit by a car. 

You didn't deserve to get hit, you didn't ask to get hit, but you were putting yourself in a tenuous circumstance, knowingly, and playing the odds that things would work out fine every single time. 

It doesn't mean you'd never get hit by a car if you stayed off all roads, hell they drive right in to houses sometimes, but it's much less likely to happen if you stay off the road. 

And it's not disparaging to all drivers to say one might hit you, it's about that particular driver, or that type of driver. Let's say... drunk. Will all drunk drivers hit you? Nope. Is it more likely that a drunk driver will hit you than a sober one? Yup.


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## TraciJo67 (Mar 24, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> So what you're saying is rape is inevitable if a woman continues to accept financial gifts from men and gives up nothing sexually in return. So you ARE saying HER actions determine whether or not someone sexually assaults her. That's ludicrous. It puts the responsibility on the shoulders of the woman, while at the same time absolving the rapist. Rape is NOT about a woman taking a gift from a man - it's about a psychopathic need for control.
> 
> It also does a disservice to the male gender to think this way.


 
But I really don't think she's saying that, anymore than I would be suggesting it's your fault for getting raped if you strolled down a dark alley at 2 a.m. wearing nothing but your birthday suit. You'd be putting yourself at risk, but the rape itself wouldn't be your fault. 

Agreed that rape is about control, and I think that there are probably higher odds that the kind of guy who would pay for a woman to attend a BBW bash probably has some of those very control issues. I don't mean to paint 'em all with my broad brush, but unless the man doing the offering and the woman accepting know each other very well, and/or have very a very clear understanding of what to expect from each other, I think accepting that kind of offer is a risky behavior. 

But again, I agree with you that if the rape happens, it's not her fault nor was she asking for it. Just that it's best not to walk into a situation where the outcome is very uncertain, wouldn't you agree?


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## BigBeautifulMe (Mar 24, 2010)

this is still saying... she should do something to prevent it. it's her responsibility. She should have done something, so if she doesn't do it, oh well. It's her fault for not taking precautions. Again - this is absolving the real responsible party and blaming the victim.


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## mossystate (Mar 24, 2010)

No woman who is raped ever deserves it. No man is entitled to anything. In terms of women having men pay their way to these bashes...stop. NOT because if anything happened, you would be at fault. FUCK NO. I just cringe when I see what seems to be games played...on both sides. It is a seedy situation, especially when the same people repeat. Having said that, I do know of a man who helped out a woman who was going go to a bash. He did it because he felt for her and was being kind. Yeah, let's encourage being safe and sane, whatever the situation...but let's be very careful about blame...even the hint of it.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Mar 24, 2010)

Traci - I have to agree that I wouldn't let some stranger pay my bash fees, though, unless it was perfectly clear there were no strings attached (and probably not even then).

Also, I *do* think she *is* saying that. Oh well - my dinner date (my cousin Jessica) is here and I have to run. Probably best for me to exit this conversation anyhow before my emotions get too involved.


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## MisticalMisty (Mar 24, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> this is still saying... she should do something to prevent it. it's her responsibility. She should have done something, so if she doesn't do it, oh well. It's her fault for not taking precautions. Again - this is absolving the real responsible party and blaming the victim.



Damn right she should do something to prevent it. It's not absolving the man of the responsibility of raping her or blaming the victim. However, we've all seen the news stories about women who were abducted, etc because they did something they would have never done or should have thought twice about at the moment. It's not the woman's fault if a man chooses to make her a victim. If it wasn't her, it would be another woman. Rape is NEVER the woman's fault.

But in the grand scheme of things, a woman has to be careful and do her best not to put herself in harms way. Agreeing to meet a man you've never met for a hook up is a dangerous game, a very dangerous game.

I've done A LOT of internet dating and I'm really lucky that nothing ever happened to me. I made stupid mistakes and put trust in people who did not deserve it. I am one of the lucky ones.


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## toni (Mar 24, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> So what you're saying is rape is inevitable if a woman continues to accept financial gifts from men and gives up nothing sexually in return. So you ARE saying HER actions determine whether or not someone sexually assaults her. That's ludicrous. It puts the responsibility on the shoulders of the woman, while at the same time absolving the rapist. Rape is NOT about a woman taking a gift from a man - it's about a psychopathic need for control.
> 
> It also does a disservice to the male gender to think this way.



Ginny, I think you are splitting hairs here for no reason. NO ONE said anything close to what you are claiming. We are not trying to excuse rape and place blame on women. We are asking women in our community to think before getting themselves into a dangerous situation. Rooming with a strange man who pays your way could get you into a bunch of trouble. He could rape you, he could leave you stranded or he could rob you. It is just not safe. 

Not to mention it is tacky. Why take gifts and trips from a man you have no intention of sleeping with or dating? I don't even accept drinks from men that are not friends because I know there is some expectation on his end.


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## Blackjack (Mar 24, 2010)

IN THIS THREAD:

- a debate about something hardly related to the original topic (which was left behind 2 pages ago)
- moral outrage at something that wasn't said by somebody
- the negation of an entire valid point because of one bad example
- people posting for the sole purpose of egging on the drama

Which makes it pretty fucking difficult to figure out which thread on Dimensions this is.

So instead of talking about how Ella's simple (if poorly-worded) post shows that she wants all women who get free stuff to be raped and murdered and left in an alleyway, can we please get back to making the thread a bit more about useful etiquette tips for the bashes?

Either that, or have the mods move this to the lounge or the main board where I won't keep reporting the posts of people who are coming on to the FA/FFA board to start shit.


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## wrestlingguy (Mar 24, 2010)

mossystate said:


> It is a crappy example to give because the people in your example are not the same kind of situation as two people who really had no idea the basic attitude and nature of the person they were talking to, prior to the bash.
> 
> Yes, it was a ' reality ', but what a wacky example to use. The people in your example were both assholes, going into it. They both knew the ' score '. It was dead in the water, in terms of anything decent happening, before they walked through the hotel doors. Why attach the labels you did...he is a scrotum...she is a victim. Guess I just don't live that kind of life. Wheeeee.
> I am sure there are people who talk before the bash...get there...observe...see some rotten behavior...learn ( hopefully )...move on. That IS a good thing.



And despite Ann Marie's attempt to pass her Rosetta Stone over your comments to make them understandable to knuckle draggers like me, the bottom line is that you STILL think my example was crappy. Was it crappy because in your eyes both people walked in knowing "the score"? Was it the fact that I branded the guy a scrotum and the woman a victim? Would it make a difference if I said that I have known both of these people for several years, and my opinions of each would have been the same regardless of whether they hooked up at an event or not?

Here's another point. These types of "hookups" would still be real, even if they never took place at a BBW event. While it has the potential to be more common at at dance or bash, it can happen outside the community events as well. I post on tons of forums promoting the New Jersey Bash, and there are countless "reality" stories that mirror exactly what I described, and in many cases, the men seem to be the predators, and women the victims.

Bad example? Possibly, although the amount of PM's I received about it indicate that it isn't. Reality, hell yes.

And the talk, meet, get fucked over and move on goes back to my original post in this thread, and my suggestion that people new to this community can affect the behavior of others, and perhaps save the hurt and anger on both sides of the BBW/FA fence if we took more time to talk this out better.


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## toni (Mar 24, 2010)

JRZCKR said:


> FYI...not wanting to marry a BBW doesnt necessarily have to have anything to do with being a closet FA...you could just hate what the institution of marriage stands for...like I do.





A closeted FA would most likely marry/date a skinny chick and fuck fat women on the side. If you are not looking to marry/date anyone then you are good.


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## Blackjack (Mar 24, 2010)

Oh, another thing... it might go without saying, but please, please shower. Before you get into the pool, before you go out after fucking, in the mornings (but going to breakfast unwashed is okay, since I know a lot of people just barely make it on time to them as it is).

It really just makes the whole thing more pleasant for everybody.


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## fatgirlflyin (Mar 24, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> So what you're saying is rape is inevitable if a woman continues to accept financial gifts from men and gives up nothing sexually in return. So you ARE saying HER actions determine whether or not someone sexually assaults her. That's ludicrous. It puts the responsibility on the shoulders of the woman, while at the same time absolving the rapist. Rape is NOT about a woman taking a gift from a man - it's about a psychopathic need for control.
> 
> It also does a disservice to the male gender to think this way.



Ok, I think you are going to see whatever you want to see, no matter how many times I say that's not what I said.

If someone plays russian roulette, eventually there's gonna be a bullet in the chamber. That's all I'm saying, you take that to mean whatever you want.


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## Blackjack (Mar 24, 2010)

Another point of etiquette that SHOULD go without saying but needs repeating: The pool is for swimming. Not for stripping or for sex.


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## fatgirlflyin (Mar 24, 2010)

Be open to meeting new people. While it may be easy to hang out with people you already know, a really great friend could be sitting at the other table.


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## James (Mar 25, 2010)

Thanks Blackjack  Without dismissing the relevance of the above posts, lets get back on track with discussing some other facets of it.


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## Emma (Mar 25, 2010)

I don't really feel there is a need for rules and what not. ? Just treat people like you'd treat anyone else? I dunno, if I have to have different rules it makes me feel quite shit. ?

I do love the pool though


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## luscious_lulu (Mar 25, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> Oh, another thing... it might go without saying, but please, please shower. Before you get into the pool, before you go out after fucking, in the mornings (but going to breakfast unwashed is okay, since I know a lot of people just barely make it on time to them as it is).
> 
> It really just makes the whole thing more pleasant for everybody.



Also, brush your teeth regularly! (not you specifically blackjack)


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## MizzSnakeBite (Mar 25, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> Oh, another thing... it might go without saying, but please, please shower. Before you get into the pool, before you go out after fucking, in the mornings (but going to breakfast unwashed is okay, since I know a lot of people just barely make it on time to them as it is).
> 
> It really just makes the whole thing more pleasant for everybody.





luscious_lulu said:


> Also, brush your teeth regularly! (not you specifically blackjack)



Now this is just sad........having to remind people to follow basic hygiene while around others.


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## LillyBBBW (Mar 25, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> So what you're saying is rape is inevitable if a woman continues to accept financial gifts from men and gives up nothing sexually in return. So you ARE saying HER actions determine whether or not someone sexually assaults her. That's ludicrous. It puts the responsibility on the shoulders of the woman, while at the same time absolving the rapist. Rape is NOT about a woman taking a gift from a man - it's about a psychopathic need for control.
> 
> It also does a disservice to the male gender to think this way.



I don't think there is anyway to tell by looking if a guy is going to be predatory. Sometimes the worst looking offender will be the first to run over and help you if your grocery bag falls and your stuff starts to roll away. If they all wore striped shirts and leather masks it would be a whole lot easier for us but sometimes the worst of them come cleverly disquised as fine, upstanding young gentlemen. We all know this, we all scorn this behavior, no one likes it but it would be disingenuous to just stroll out naked and say, "Oh well, it's their fault, they are to blame, I'm free to go," and not at least be realistically precautionary. Yes, what they do is pretty shitty. It looks to me like all the people here are trying to say is to protect yourself as best you can and be careful because they're out there and there's nothing we can do about it. Being cautious doesn't mean you're letting rotten men off the hook, it just lessens the likelyhood that you will get snagged on one of theirs. They don't do what they do because of us but at least we can do something to stop them from getting away with it.


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## Saoirse (Mar 25, 2010)

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Now this is just sad........having to remind people to follow basic hygiene while around others.



reminds me of my ex! :doh:


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## LisaInNC (Mar 25, 2010)

Ok so let me get this queer thing straight...Am I supposed to sleep with someone who pays my way to a bash or not? Oh who am I kidding..I would sleep with him if he bought me a candy bar. 

I wanna throw something about bash etiquette too! While in the pool...really...dont "dry" hump...its one of the reasons I wont go to the pool parties. Oh and when you see me standing a few feet away from the edge of the pool with a crazed look on my face...odds are I am about to do a cannonball. If you dont want to get your hair wet (what?! wet hair in a pool! thats just silly!), then move...I usually give ya a few minutes to do so.


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## Saoirse (Mar 25, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> IN THIS THREAD:
> 
> - a debate about something hardly related to the original topic (which was left behind 2 pages ago)
> - moral outrage at something that wasn't said by somebody
> ...



i dont like your examples.


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## Blackjack (Mar 25, 2010)

CurvyEm said:


> I don't really feel there is a need for rules and what not. ? Just treat people like you'd treat anyone else? I dunno, if I have to have different rules it makes me feel quite shit. ?
> 
> I do love the pool though



Well, it really is general rules, but since bashes are places where people tend to get a bit wilder than they normally would be, some reminders are certainly useful.


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## LovelyLiz (Mar 25, 2010)

LisaInNC said:


> ...While in the pool...really...dont "dry" hump...its one of the reasons I wont go to the pool parties. (snipped)



I love the quotation marks around "dry" ... because it's dry humping in water! Hilarious. I'm cracking up over here. Bahahahaha!


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## MisticalMisty (Mar 25, 2010)

Never go up and just start grabbing fat. I had a guy do that one time and I can guarantee he won't do that again...to me at least.

Also, if we've just met..I'm not your honey, baby, sweetie etc. etc. Women have names...use them.


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## cinnamitch (Mar 25, 2010)

MisticalMisty said:


> Never go up and just start grabbing fat. I had a guy do that one time and I can guarantee he won't do that again...to me at least.
> 
> Also, if we've just met..I'm not your honey, baby, sweetie etc. etc. Women have names...use them.



Ooh i just hate that in general. You do not know me, i am not your honey, sweetie, babe, baby, sugarlump etc.. I have left more online conversations because of this very thing.


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## Carrie (Mar 25, 2010)

MisticalMisty said:


> Also, if we've just met..I'm not your honey, baby, sweetie etc. etc. Women have names...use them.


This goes for online, too. Grrrrr.


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## phoenix92901 (Mar 25, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> Another point of etiquette that SHOULD go without saying but needs repeating: The pool is for swimming. Not for stripping or for sex.




Agree 100%... some things are just not meant to be seen in public.


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## KHayes666 (Mar 25, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> Another point of etiquette that SHOULD go without saying but needs repeating: The pool is for swimming. Not for stripping or for sex.



I've never stripped but I've fondled and kissed in the pool, guess you can say I'm guilty. The thing is I see it happening all around me, even ENCOURAGED sometimes. I'm sure there are a host of others who've done the same thing, nothing wrong with a little PDA.

Now, I've never actually seen stripping other than a few minor flashing from some of the drunk patrons nor have I seen flat out sex in the pool. Stripping and sex are mostly done in the hotel rooms, and if you've seen it in the pool Beej...this is the first I've heard about it.


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## stan_der_man (Mar 25, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> Another point of etiquette that SHOULD go without saying but needs repeating: The pool is for swimming. Not for stripping or for sex.



BJ, I'd even take this one a step further... Leave bathing suit bottoms on in a public pool. There will be enough pubes getting into the filtration system as it is. Imagine what the hotel pool guy has to deal with on a regular basis anyway. That is just basic pool etiquette, along with not peeing or leaving floaters. The removal of bathing suit tops is cool though.


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## phoenix92901 (Mar 25, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> I've never stripped but I've fondled and kissed in the pool, guess you can say I'm guilty. The thing is I see it happening all around me, even ENCOURAGED sometimes. I'm sure there are a host of others who've done the same thing, nothing wrong with a little PDA.



Hey, I'm all for PDA and am guilty of that as well but dry humping and "manual manipulation" in the pool was witnessed by myself and several others towards the end of the pool party. If that doesn't count as sex then okey dokey but I, for one, would have appreciated not seeing the "tent" that was proudly displayed afterwards. I'm really not a prude but geez... I'm still trying to get that visual out of my head. I'm only glad it didn't result in a "happy ending". That would pretty much guarantee my never, ever, ever, ever going into that pool again. :shocked:


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## Laura2008 (Mar 25, 2010)

Man I must be a leper or just lucky because none of this happened to me at the last bash I attended. :doh:


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## LillyBBBW (Mar 25, 2010)

Laura2008 said:


> Man I must be a leper or just lucky because none of this happened to me at the last bash I attended. :doh:



Yeah, nothing like that happens to me either. I'm a little offended actually. No seedy deals or people trying to impress me with money and booze. Well, maybe from OneWickedAngel but those are all planned in advance. Where's *MY* sordid story dammit?


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## Blackjack (Mar 25, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> I've never stripped but I've fondled and kissed in the pool, guess you can say I'm guilty. The thing is I see it happening all around me, even ENCOURAGED sometimes. I'm sure there are a host of others who've done the same thing, nothing wrong with a little PDA.
> 
> Now, I've never actually seen stripping other than a few minor flashing from some of the drunk patrons nor have I seen flat out sex in the pool. Stripping and sex are mostly done in the hotel rooms, and if you've seen it in the pool Beej...this is the first I've heard about it.



I saw a bit of flashing once, I think; and as for the sex, there was at least some dry humpin' going on. I know it's not the same thing, and no, it's not really based on experience, but I do think that it's worth noting. 

Now don't get me wrong, some PDA is fine, making out or a bit of fondling, but the groinal area is probably best left alone while in public like that.


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## Weeze (Mar 25, 2010)

MisticalMisty said:


> Rape is NEVER the *victim*'s fault.



Fixed the only part of this post I didn't agree 100% with


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## exile in thighville (Mar 25, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> The pool is for swimming. Not for stripping or for sex.



you're confusing it with the jacuzzi


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## bmann0413 (Mar 26, 2010)

Wow, from what it sounds like, I think I'm gonna stay away from bashes. They aren't ALL like that, are they?


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## Fyreflyintheskye (Mar 26, 2010)

wrestlingguy said:


> no one has a responsibility to do ANYTHING to help another person improve themselves in life, although it would be a better world if we did (and that means I agree with you, Ginny)
> 
> My other point is not that you hold someone by the hand and coddle them. Quite the contrary. I think dropping an anvil on a guy's dick is a perfect way to move him along his path a bit quicker. Too many guys get away with too much, because some poor simp of a BBW is even appreciative of "asshole attention" as being better than no attention.
> 
> ...




Can't we just punch them in the face


ahhh, it's saying I can't rep you right now until I spread some around


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## KHayes666 (Mar 26, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> I saw a bit of flashing once, I think; and as for the sex, there was at least some dry humpin' going on. I know it's not the same thing, and no, it's not really based on experience, but I do think that it's worth noting.
> 
> *Now don't get me wrong, some PDA is fine, making out or a bit of fondling, but the groinal area is probably best left alone while in public like that*.



Now that I agree with.


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## TCUBOB (Mar 26, 2010)

Thought I would check back in and see if we had settle the question of whether or not there was sex in the Champagne Room. 

The Champagne Room....brought to you by Miller High Life, the Champagne (sham-PAG-nah) of Beers!


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## wrestlingguy (Mar 26, 2010)

bmann0413 said:


> Wow, from what it sounds like, I think I'm gonna stay away from bashes. They aren't ALL like that, are they?



Let me make an analogy for you, Lloyd. If you had heard from the people who have been banned from Dimensions long before you ever posted here, it's pretty doubtful that you would have ever bothered to come here, if you'd only heard that Dims was a bad place, where bad experiences happen.

Same is true at BBW events. Just like here, you'll encounter good people, and other people. Again, just like Dimensions, you will shape your own experience.

I have always made these events (both the NJ Bash, and other events and dances I've attended) about socializing, and community. The people I've become closest with over the years feel the same way.

So, to wrap this up all nice and pretty, you'll find good and bad not only here, but at BBW events, and generally everywhere you go. It's up to you to decided your path, and whether you'll let the negative stuff limit your experience.


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## SocialbFly (Mar 26, 2010)

fatgirlflyin said:


> Ok, I think you are going to see whatever you want to see, no matter how many times I say that's not what I said.
> 
> If someone plays russian roulette, eventually there's gonna be a bullet in the chamber. That's all I'm saying, you take that to mean whatever you want.



i have to agree, rape is unfortunately not always the psychopath, it is the person who has a little too much to drink in a situation they thought they could control, but couldnt...i should know...

dont accept what you are not willing to pay for in one way or another, nothing in life is free...even relationships are based on quid pro quo...if you get nothing out of the relationship (even if what you want is just booty, or just______ insert what here) you wont stay...cause you cant stay in a relationship or whatever when it is all take and no give or all give and no take...

i am not saying loving relationships are like this per se...but i do agree that even in marriages if you are not getting your needs met (emotional, physical, etc), you wont stay...

when you accept that someone pays your bash fees, honestly, who truly believes that would come with no strings...no one gives anything truly with no strings, unless you go with a girlfriend, i have been treated and have treated a female friend to a bash..because that is what girlfriends do...men (and this is not bashing to men) not so much.


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## bmann0413 (Mar 27, 2010)

wrestlingguy said:


> Let me make an analogy for you, Lloyd. If you had heard from the people who have been banned from Dimensions long before you ever posted here, it's pretty doubtful that you would have ever bothered to come here, if you'd only heard that Dims was a bad place, where bad experiences happen.
> 
> Same is true at BBW events. Just like here, you'll encounter good people, and other people. Again, just like Dimensions, you will shape your own experience.
> 
> ...



Well, when you put it that way, Phil. lol


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## toni (Mar 27, 2010)

bmann0413 said:


> Well, when you put it that way, Phil. lol



Phil is right bmann. We are only listing the bad points in this thread. I can tell so many stories about the awesome people I have met and spent time with over the years at bashes. It is usually a very warm welcoming friendly environment. Most of us are there to meet new friends and have lots of fun with old ones. 

There are toxic people that infect these things but it is up to you to push that to the side (and talk about them at breakfast LMAO). Sure people are looking to start drama and some people are looking to get laid. As long as you know why you are there, you will find a great group of people and life long friends.


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## NoWayOut (Mar 27, 2010)

bmann0413 said:


> Wow, from what it sounds like, I think I'm gonna stay away from bashes. They aren't ALL like that, are they?



That had me wondering too. That and the cost, that'd be a lot for me to spend.


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## LillyBBBW (Mar 27, 2010)

toni said:


> Phil is right bmann. We are only listing the bad points in this thread. I can tell so many stories about the awesome people I have met and spent time with over the years at bashes. It is usually a very warm welcoming friendly environment. Most of us are there to meet new friends and have lots of fun with old ones.
> 
> There are toxic people that infect these things but it is up to you to push that to the side (and talk about them at breakfast LMAO). Sure people are looking to start drama and some people are looking to get laid. As long as you know why you are there, you will find a great group of people and life long friends.



OMG, the breakfast club! I miss getting together over breakfast and dishing about the side shows, especially when I wasn't in one this time.


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## toni (Mar 27, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> OMG, the breakfast club! I miss getting together over breakfast and dishing about the side shows, especially when I wasn't in one this time.



I missed you this go around!!!!! Hopefully we will both be at the Dim's bash. We have so much to dish. All I can eat bacon is never the same without you.


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## toni (Mar 27, 2010)

NoWayOut said:


> That had me wondering too. That and the cost, that'd be a lot for me to spend.



blah blah blah blah blah...excuses :happy:


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## Jes (Mar 28, 2010)

toni said:


> blah blah blah blah blah...excuses :happy:



Did Dennis make it?


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## NoWayOut (Mar 28, 2010)

toni said:


> blah blah blah blah blah...excuses :happy:



Well, you try coming to the East Coast from Idaho.


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## ValentineBBW (Mar 28, 2010)

I'm not picking on anyone in particular, but people come to the bash from all over. There has been people from CA, CO, WA state, OR and I am from Nebraska. I have been to the NJ bash 3 times now and I also go to the Dims and Vegas bash, both of which are nowhere close to me. And I am by no means wealthy. Not even close. I scrimp and save and don't do much else for extras so I can attend these functions. 

If a person *really*wants to go to bash, you'll find a way.


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## indy500tchr (Mar 28, 2010)

NoWayOut said:


> Well, you try coming to the East Coast from Idaho.



Oh hun that is no excuse. I've gone to 3 NJ Bashes, the DIMS Bash and 2 Bashes in Boston and I am a poor teacher from Indiana! 

Valentine is right there are people that come from all over. There are even people who come from out of the country! I get it if money is the problem but distance..pish that is no excuse.


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## Blackjack (Mar 28, 2010)

NoWayOut said:


> Well, you try coming to the East Coast from Idaho.



I just hang last night at one of the Heavenly Bodies events with one of my buddies from California.


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## exile in thighville (Mar 28, 2010)

NoWayOut said:


> Well, you try coming to the East Coast from Idaho.



that's the spirit


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## NoWayOut (Mar 28, 2010)

indy500tchr said:


> Oh hun that is no excuse. I've gone to 3 NJ Bashes, the DIMS Bash and 2 Bashes in Boston and I am a poor teacher from Indiana!
> 
> Valentine is right there are people that come from all over. There are even people who come from out of the country! I get it if money is the problem but distance..pish that is no excuse.



Actually, it is for me. If it was drivable, that'd be one thing. I know how to cut corners when it's within driving distance. For a flight, you've got to factor in a rental car as well as the airfare with the hotel, so I'd already be up over $600 before any events. 

Driving, I can take my own car and getting there is much cheaper. If I wanted to go the Vegas one, I could pull that off for about $450 for everything. Not great, but better.

There's also the factor of getting two vacations a year, with one going to see my family each year, and still having so much I haven't seen yet. I spent my life on the East Coast, so I'd be a fool not to experience the west while I'm out here, because I could be somewhere totally different in two years.

Maybe I'll get to one of these eventually, but it wouldn't be for another few years. Distance, cash and what I still haven't seen yet are my reasons why.


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## mszwebs (Mar 28, 2010)

NoWayOut said:


> Actually, it is for me. If it was drivable, that'd be one thing. I know how to cut corners when it's within driving distance. For a flight, you've got to factor in a rental car as well as the airfare with the hotel, so I'd already be up over $600 before any events.
> 
> Driving, I can take my own car and getting there is much cheaper. If I wanted to go the Vegas one, I could pull that off for about $450 for everything. Not great, but better.
> 
> ...



No one is saying you have to go to an East Coast bash specifically. If its cheaper for you to go to Vegas, by all means, go. In fact, no one is forcing you to go to a bash at all. The only thing that people are saying is that "just" not having the money is a commonly heard statement, when these things happen like clock work and there is generally time to plan in advance. Its a vacation like any other vacation and generally that involves spending money.

People come from other countries, because they plan for it and they enjoy the atmosphere.


As for reasons why, well... Its an opportunity to be with like minded people. I do not have fat women friends where I live and the relationships I have built from this board and those that extend into "real life" because of the bashes are amazingly cherished.

I go to see my friends and make new ones. Simple as that.


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## indy500tchr (Mar 28, 2010)

NoWayOut said:


> Actually, it is for me. If it was drivable, that'd be one thing. I know how to cut corners when it's within driving distance. For a flight, you've got to factor in a rental car as well as the airfare with the hotel, so I'd already be up over $600 before any events.
> 
> Driving, I can take my own car and getting there is much cheaper. If I wanted to go the Vegas one, I could pull that off for about $450 for everything. Not great, but better.
> 
> ...



I don't think I've ever spent $600 to go to a NJ or MA Bash and that is with purchasing two airplane seats. I guess flying from Idaho is a lot more expensive. 

Like Mszwebs said it's a vacation....most vacations require $$$ and planning. Just think of a bash like that.


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## NoWayOut (Mar 28, 2010)

indy500tchr said:


> I don't think I've ever spent $600 to go to a NJ or MA Bash and that is with purchasing two airplane seats. I guess flying from Idaho is a lot more expensive.
> 
> Like Mszwebs said it's a vacation....most vacations require $$$ and planning. Just think of a bash like that.



It is quite a bit more expensive. Once you go over about 1500 miles, flight prices hit a substantial bump. A flight from Salt Lake City (my closest airport) is about $380 to the East Coast. It's about $120 cheaper to make that same flight from Indiana. That and the underage surcharge for car rental is why I restrict myself to driving distance vacations for now, unless I'm traveling to see family because I don't need to rent a car then.

If I got to one of these, it'd be after I turned 25. Once that surcharge is gone, a trip that needed a flight would be much more palatable.


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## Rosebud (Mar 28, 2010)

NoWayOut said:


> It is quite a bit more expensive. Once you go over about 1500 miles, flight prices hit a substantial bump. A flight from Salt Lake City (my closest airport) is about $380 to the East Coast. It's about $120 cheaper to make that same flight from Indiana. That and the underage surcharge for car rental is why I restrict myself to driving distance vacations for now, unless I'm traveling to see family because I don't need to rent a car then.
> 
> If I got to one of these, it'd be after I turned 25. Once that surcharge is gone, a trip that needed a flight would be much more palatable.



You've done your research, but it really isn't necessary to rent a car to go to a bash. They are typically held close to a major airport, and frequently people flying in coordinate arrival times so they can share transportation from the airport. All activities are held within the hotel, and catching rides to lunch or dinner (if you just can't stand one more meal at the hotel restaurant) is always easy. 

Don't forget, we are friendly people and tend to take care of each other.

You'll come to a bash when you are ready to, and when you do we'll welcome you with open arms.


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## Haunted (Mar 28, 2010)

NoWayOut said:


> It is quite a bit more expensive. Once you go over about 1500 miles, flight prices hit a substantial bump. A flight from Salt Lake City (my closest airport) is about $380 to the East Coast. It's about $120 cheaper to make that same flight from Indiana. That and the underage surcharge for car rental is why I restrict myself to driving distance vacations for now, unless I'm traveling to see family because I don't need to rent a car then.
> 
> If I got to one of these, it'd be after I turned 25. Once that surcharge is gone, a trip that needed a flight would be much more palatable.



Join Kayak.com I Just went from Boston to Fresno for $280 round trip the deals are there! I Fly out to Cali every 3 to 6 months to see my Baby! the highest iv ever paid was $760.00 but that was a last minute trip i didnt have the time to find a deal.


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## Weirdo890 (Mar 28, 2010)

Good rule of thumb for bashes (or any social situations) are:

1. Don't look at them and shout, "BREASTS! WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL BREASTS!"

2. Rule #1 also goes for butts and bellies

3. No groping or feeling unless the woman has consented.

4. If she has consented, go somewhere private.

5. No drooling. It's just uncouth and unattractive.

That's all I have for now.


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## Blackjack (Mar 28, 2010)

Also, it's considered poor bash etiquette to complain about how you can't attend bashes.


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## JRZCKR (Mar 28, 2010)

3. No groping or feeling unless the woman has consented.

Does the same apply the other way around? Not that I'd be withholding consent anytime soon from women, but just wondering. I suspect it does, but I'm thinking it is not as much of an issue the other way around.


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## Weirdo890 (Mar 28, 2010)

JRZCKR said:


> 3. No groping or feeling unless the woman has consented.
> 
> Does the same apply the other way around? Not that I'd be withholding consent anytime soon from women, but just wondering. I suspect it does, but I'm thinking it is not as much of an issue the other way around.



Yeah, it applies the same way around.


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## NoWayOut (Mar 28, 2010)

Rosebud said:


> You've done your research, but it really isn't necessary to rent a car to go to a bash. They are typically held close to a major airport, and frequently people flying in coordinate arrival times so they can share transportation from the airport. All activities are held within the hotel, and catching rides to lunch or dinner (if you just can't stand one more meal at the hotel restaurant) is always easy.
> 
> Don't forget, we are friendly people and tend to take care of each other.
> 
> You'll come to a bash when you are ready to, and when you do we'll welcome you with open arms.



That's nice to know. Yeah, I've definitely done my research, because quite frankly, I don't make nearly enough money to allow myself to go into anything unprepared. Hopefully, that'll change in a few years to make whether I can go to one of these or not less of a big decision for me.



Haunted said:


> Join Kayak.com I Just went from Boston to Fresno for $280 round trip the deals are there! I Fly out to Cali every 3 to 6 months to see my Baby! the highest iv ever paid was $760.00 but that was a last minute trip i didnt have the time to find a deal.



I check Kayak daily, actually. I'm planning to go to Virginia to see my family in June and the best rate so far is $329. The deals aren't that great from SLC, most likely because of how big Delta is out here.


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## MizzSnakeBite (Mar 29, 2010)

Never been to a bash, but here's one rule that should go without saying........kindness. Practice it liberally.  You might not click with a certain someone, but be kind. It means a lot to the recipient and it'll get around that you're a good guy/gal.

I hope that one day I'll be able to go to some bashes and I wish Wren could be my roomie!


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## Weirdo890 (Mar 29, 2010)

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Never been to a bash, but here's one rule that should go without saying........kindness. Practice it liberally.  You might not click with a certain someone, but be kind. It means a lot to the recipient and it'll get around that you're a good guy/gal.



I think that's the more important rule of all. Good call MSB.


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## littlefairywren (Mar 29, 2010)

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Never been to a bash, but here's one rule that should go without saying........kindness. Practice it liberally.  You might not click with a certain someone, but be kind. It means a lot to the recipient and it'll get around that you're a good guy/gal.
> 
> I hope that one day I'll be able to go to some bashes and I wish Wren could be my roomie!



I would love to be your roomie, I think we would have fun. Maybe one day I will make it over there :happy:


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## Kellie Kay (Mar 29, 2010)

Kellies ONLY rule- please do not rub your boner on me in the pool unless instructed to.  

hahaha


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## Leesa (Mar 29, 2010)

The bashes I have attended have been such lovely and positive experiences, I hope this thread does not scare off potential bbw/ fas. 99% who attend the bashes are respectful and kind to all! :wubu:


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## Wild Zero (Mar 29, 2010)

Kellie Kay said:


> Kellies ONLY rule- please do not rub your boner on me in the pool unless instructed to.
> 
> hahaha



You're in violation of Gen-creeper Convention Rule no. 2



Wild Zero said:


> Rule no. 2: Be an even bigger weirdo in the pool, there are no laws in international waters.


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## bigsexy920 (Mar 29, 2010)

Yes I think this is true



Leesa said:


> The bashes I have attended have been such lovely and positive experiences, I hope this thread does not scare off potential bbw/ fas. 99% who attend the bashes are respectful and kind to all! :wubu:


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## Kellie Kay (Mar 29, 2010)

Overall, bashes are AWESOME! and i dont mind the occasional creeper or two  lol i've made soooo many great friends from the bashes, i'll certainly be going to more!


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## Haunted (Mar 29, 2010)

Kellie Kay said:


> Kellies ONLY rule- please do not rub your boner on me in the pool unless instructed to.
> 
> hahaha



BUZZ-KILL !!!


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## bmann0413 (Mar 30, 2010)

Okay, okay, the creeper stories are not going to lean me against going to the bashes. In fact, I'll be sure to keep my eyes on creepers and the like whenever I go to one! That is, if I'm not having too much fun. lol


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## JRZCKR (Mar 30, 2010)

Ladies, 

Feel free to rub your soft bodies against mine in the pool unless instructed NOT to do so...Just thought I'd give my spin on the Kelly Kay rule. :happy:


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## exile in thighville (Mar 30, 2010)

i feel like you won't get creeped on per se


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## Lamia (Apr 10, 2010)

Leesa said:


> The bashes I have attended have been such lovely and positive experiences, I hope this thread does not scare off potential bbw/ fas. 99% who attend the bashes are respectful and kind to all! :wubu:



Actually, this thread made me glad that I never went to one when I was younger. I'd be fine now having learned many of life's lessons, but a younger more vulnerable me would probably have made many mistakes.


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## exile in thighville (Apr 18, 2010)

exile in thighville said:


> i feel like you won't get creeped on per se



i wish you could rep yourself


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## furious styles (Apr 18, 2010)

1. don't be rapin'


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## CastingPearls (Apr 18, 2010)

Pardon my noob ignorance but I've been looking and can't find the latest on when and where IS the next bash (Jersey or PA) and I'd really like to go.....can ya hook a sista up?


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## wrestlingguy (Apr 18, 2010)

CastingPearls said:


> Pardon my noob ignorance but I've been looking and can't find the latest on when and where IS the next bash (Jersey or PA) and I'd really like to go.....can ya hook a sista up?




Well, there is a resurrected Philly Bash from August 6-9, 2010. For more info, click here.

There is no date set yet for the next New Jersey Bash, although one will likely be held in the fall. For more info, click here.


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## toni (Apr 18, 2010)

wrestlingguy said:


> Well, there is a resurrected Philly Bash from August 6-9, 2010. For more info, click here.
> 
> [/URL]



Oh oh oh my birthday weekend. Gotta book that!!!


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## wrench13 (Apr 20, 2010)

wrestlingguy said:


> Well, there is a resurrected Philly Bash from August 6-9, 2010. For more info, click here.
> 
> There is no date set yet for the next New Jersey Bash, although one will likely be held in the fall. For more info, click here.



You guys are killing me! Seems like every bash date is a no go for me. The last NJ one, the band was on tour in MD, the Philly bash, we'll be in Maine. 
Arrrrgh!


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## CastingPearls (Apr 20, 2010)

toni said:


> Oh oh oh my birthday weekend. Gotta book that!!!


Oh girl, if I can swing it you and I are going to have to have drinks and compare notes.


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## toni (Apr 20, 2010)

Sounds like a date to me. :happy:


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## Slamaga (Apr 30, 2010)

Want to add my rule! Makes me think of a melting pot... anyways!

When something bothers you like creepy behaviors of someone or misundertanding situation, just talk with the person(s) concerned so you don't make yourself false and fast ideas. 

Dims world is just like a paradise that is hard to enter completely. But when you are into it, it is so heavenly good!


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