# "Fat Father Syndrome"



## tankyguy (Sep 2, 2013)

I just wondering what everyone thinks about Coach's theory.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=XKltTsdqLoI#t=61s


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## The Dark Lady (Sep 2, 2013)

Nope. Nope nope nope nope nope.


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## Yakatori (Sep 2, 2013)

he's correct in as much as that we generally tend to get fatter. And fatter.

I mean, I think, as you get older, you'd actually at some point have to make a conscious decision just in order to stop getting fatter & fatter.

As far as ladies, from what I've seen in my own personal experience, I was at minimum markedly both bigger & fatter than all of the dads-of I've had the chance to formally meet. So, typically, I'd like to think that they'd reminded her of me?


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## Paquito (Sep 2, 2013)

I am definitely not trying to fuck my Dad. Hot dads, however, are totally game.


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## loopytheone (Sep 3, 2013)

Nope! My dad wasn't skinny but neither was he big. An average sized, moderately athletic man. How typical!


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## tankyguy (Sep 3, 2013)

Paquito said:


> I am definitely not trying to fuck my Dad.



Well, it's not that. It's the idea that for a lot of people, their father is the first model for their idea of men/masculinity and, in the case of women, on a subconscious level, compare the men in their lives to him as a standard.


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## ~KawaiiFFA~ (Sep 3, 2013)

I've heard this theory before and it's bunk, at least for me. My dad is extremely athletic. (Also an asshole, so I don't want anyone like him.)

Though there was a brief period in my childhood where he developed a pot belly and me and my brother used to slap it and say we were playing "the belly drums." I doubt that has anything to do with my attractions...at least I hope? Bleh, I'm gonna stop thinking about this now. :blink: 

(As a side note, my brother is also an FA, and my uncle goes to BBW events and stuff, so I'm pretty positive it's somewhat genetic.)


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Sep 3, 2013)

~KawaiiFFA~ said:


> I've heard this theory before and it's bunk, at least for me. My dad is extremely athletic. (Also an asshole, so I don't want anyone like him.)
> 
> Though there was a brief period in my childhood where he developed a pot belly and me and my brother used to slap it and say we were playing "the belly drums." I doubt that has anything to do with my attractions...at least I hope? Bleh, I'm gonna stop thinking about this now. :blink:
> 
> (As a side note, my brother is also an FA, and my uncle goes to BBW events and stuff, so I'm pretty positive it's somewhat genetic.)



Please don't ever slap my stomach and run away giggling "BELLY DRUMS!!!"


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## Esther (Sep 3, 2013)

Well...

...I can admit that I seem to end up dating men who are kind of similar to my father, personality-wise. I certainly don't do this on purpose, it just kind of happens. However none of them have been similar to my father in terms of appearance.


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## Surlysomething (Sep 3, 2013)

My Dad's a fat guy, more so as he's gotten older, but he's always had a big belly since I can remember. He's still one of the nicest looking men I know, so there's that too I guess. And he's blue collar.

Those are normally factors I search out as well. Who knows, eh?


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## Amaranthine (Sep 3, 2013)

I've had someone send me this video before, after asking a few times what my Dad looks like. 

My dad's always been in good shape/athletic. In fact, he's actually pretty derogatory towards fat people ...which of course works out splendidly for me. 

As for personality...I'm actually pretty similar to my dad, and I don't think I tend towards guys who are really like him. Time to over-analyze this in my head instead of actually doing something productive!


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## The Dark Lady (Sep 3, 2013)

Amaranthine said:


> I've had someone send me this video before, after asking a few times what my Dad looks like.
> 
> My dad's always been in good shape/athletic. In fact, he's actually pretty derogatory towards fat people ...which of course works out splendidly for me.
> 
> As for personality...I'm actually pretty similar to my dad, and I don't think I tend towards guys who are really like him. Time to over-analyze this in my head instead of actually doing something productive!



Every time I don't feel like articulating a complete response to something, you almost always come along and scare the crap out of me by posting my exact thoughts in almost precisely the same words I would've chosen. It's as unsettling as it is convenient, yay!


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Sep 4, 2013)

I don't think I look for men because my dad was fat, I look for men who have his traits. My dad taught me lots of stuff, having worked in the corporate world it's hard to find a man that does the things he did/taught me. I was lucky to learn carpentry, auto-mechanical work, welding, masonry, and general Mexican-ness. I don't care if the guy is fat or not, but he better be handy as fuck.


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## Cobra Verde (Sep 4, 2013)

The Dark Lady said:


> Every time I don't feel like articulating a complete response to something, you almost always come along and scare the crap out of me by posting my exact thoughts in almost precisely the same words I would've chosen. It's as unsettling as it is convenient, yay!



Kiss her!!![/drunk asshole across the street]


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## Surlysomething (Sep 4, 2013)

He did a great job, you're the best Mexican I know! :bow:




Hozay J Garseeya said:


> general Mexican-ness


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## Archetypus (Sep 4, 2013)

Cobra Verde said:


> Kiss her!!![/drunk asshole across the street]



Every time I don't feel like articulating a complete response to something, you almost always come along and scare the crap out of me by posting my exact thoughts in almost precisely the same words I would've chosen. It's as unsettling as it is convenient, yay!


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## Amaranthine (Sep 4, 2013)

The Dark Lady said:


> Every time I don't feel like articulating a complete response to something, you almost always come along and scare the crap out of me by posting my exact thoughts in almost precisely the same words I would've chosen. It's as unsettling as it is convenient, yay!



I'm claiming the combination of unsettling and convenient, and will use it whenever asked to describe myself. That being said...I'm not sure I can take the pressure of reading your mind every time I go to post. I can only disappoint from here D:



Archetypus said:


> Every time I don't feel like articulating a complete response to something, you almost always come along and scare the crap out of me by posting my exact thoughts in almost precisely the same words I would've chosen. It's as unsettling as it is convenient, yay!



Kiss him!!![/entirely sober, but a total perv]


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Sep 4, 2013)

Amaranthine said:


> I'm claiming the combination of unsettling and convenient, and will use it whenever asked to describe myself. That being said...I'm not sure I can take the pressure of reading your mind every time I go to post. I can only disappoint from here D:
> 
> 
> 
> Kiss him!!![/entirely sober, but a total perv]



Kiss me!!! [/entirely sober and not wearing pants, but is wearing socks.]


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## Cobra Verde (Sep 4, 2013)

Amaranthine said:


> Kiss him!!![/entirely sober, but a total perv]


That's different, women aren't turned on by guys getting it on!


Wait, that's true for _all _women, right? 

Archetypus, don't stray far - just in case...


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## tankyguy (Sep 4, 2013)

Cobra Verde said:


> That's different, women aren't turned on by guys getting it on!



ORLY?

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YaoiFangirl


Though, there may be very little of it that appeals to FFAs.
Large guys are scarce in anime/manga. Those that exist are usually ugly, depraved, evil or some combination thereof.


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## Tad (Sep 5, 2013)

I think people like nice simple explanations for things, and something so obvious which is no doubt sometimes true in part makes for a convenient explanation for anyone who doesn't want to deal with the tangle that is actual human sexuality.


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## agouderia (Sep 5, 2013)

As with most behavioural things, there is no such thing as the absolute truth - there are only patterns and tendencies.

And there is a proven trend that about 2/3 of all children follow the pattern their parents set them. That would mean a significant proportion of women, not all, who have a physically big father might subconsciously look for that trait in their partners too. 

There are intervening variables though - some children consciously look for the exact opposite of what their parents set as an example, for all sorts of reasons: Plain protest or harmful or perceived as such consequences or parental behavior being the most common ones.

A larger portion of the 'deviators' though is steered away from the parental role model because of simply strongly diverging external factors: Very different circumstances and opportunities in life, either much higher or lower educational and social strata, etc.

Bottom line - if you as a BHM see a woman you're interested in with her father and he's a BHM too, then your chances are statistically 2:1 that she'll be more open to your size than not.


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## tankyguy (Sep 5, 2013)

agouderia said:


> Bottom line - if you as a BHM see a woman you're interested in with her father and he's a BHM too, then your chances are statistically 2:1 that she'll be more open to your size than not.



Because I'm totally going to hit on someone when their father is there...


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## Sasquatch! (Sep 5, 2013)

tankyguy said:


> Because I'm totally going to hit on someone when their father is there...



Why not? The only way it'd be a problem would be if you're really shit at it.

Also, I love Agouderia's posts. They're always so well thought out.


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## CastingPearls (Sep 5, 2013)

My dad has been, for most of his life what people call 'husky' or heavy, solid and fit because he had jobs that required a lot of physical labor. My mom was a BBW and much of our extended family were all big people, so upon entering the world, my viewpoint was that everyone was fat. Fat was normal. Thin was the anomaly. I also thought everyone loved me and in fact, on the same day both delusions were shattered and my childhood was over. Still, my softest warmest memories with my dad, the images are; big, warm, enveloping, safe, secure, able to pick me up and hold me. These are all things that to this day are ways I describe my ideal man.

If there were a room full of big, husky, or beefy guys and thin angular guys, I'm going to look at the big guys first. However, that's just where my eye wanders. How someone treats me, how well-adjusted he is, etc., is more important than anything. I've said this in other threads but in my personal experience with BHM, they either ignore me or am outright hostile so I've stopped approaching them or flirting with them. Men here give the same reasons why BBW give, so I won't rehash it. Ex-spouse was average weight. Most men I've dated were average weight. I've never been intimate with a BHM but have had some romantic encounters that I'd hoped would pan and hadn't. I still like fat boys even if I haven't found one that likes me just as much.

This thread has made me sad but not because of anything posted here. More reminiscing and regret on my part that things just didn't work out with some wonderful men.


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## Paquito (Sep 5, 2013)

tankyguy said:


> Because I'm totally going to hit on someone when their father is there...



Well you could flirt with someone _and_ their father. Doubles your chances of success.


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## Amaranthine (Sep 6, 2013)

tankyguy said:


> ORLY?
> 
> http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YaoiFangirl
> 
> ...



Anime/manga may be terrible for BHMs (which personally doesn't faze me, because I never cared for cartoon/drawn fat guys,) BUT...it's absolutely wonderful for bishonen. Lovely, lovely androgyny :wubu: 



CastingPearls said:


> I've said this in other threads but in my personal experience with BHM, they either ignore me or am outright hostile so I've stopped approaching them or flirting with them.



That's really unfortunate  I wonder if it's related to their BHMness - long engrained insecurity or something. Even so, that's pretty awful luck. 



Paquito said:


> Well you could flirt with someone _and_ their father. Doubles your chances of success.



Also makes for the most interesting threesomes!


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## agouderia (Sep 6, 2013)

Paquito said:


> Well you could flirt with someone _and_ their father. Doubles your chances of success.





Amaranthine said:


> Also makes for the most interesting threesomes!



Yes indeed - world literature, history and movies are full of these stories! Some of them actually the hottest and most spicy you can find!

Although I'm not quite sure whether that was the essence of my original post....


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## tankyguy (Sep 6, 2013)

Amaranthine said:


> BUT...it's absolutely wonderful for bishonen. Lovely, lovely androgyny :wubu:



I regret that I cannon sparkle for you. So inadequate...
*broods and walks away with jacket over shoulder while sad music plays*


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