# How much do you care about relative fatness?



## Tad (Jun 22, 2009)

As an FA you admire some attractive fat person. You think they look great, that they are extremely attractive to you.

Then you see them in a different context, where everyone else is either thinner or fatter than where you first saw that person. Does that affect how much you are attracted to them compared to others?

Or to put it another way, do you care (one way or the other, whether you want to or not), if the person is the fattest person around? Or whether the people around them consider them to be fat?

I'm just curious...on the side of being fat there have been various discussions about the physical experience of being fat versus the social experience of being fat. I'm wondering how much that divide matters to FA.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Jun 22, 2009)

edx said:


> Or to put it another way, do you care (one way or the other, whether you want to or not), if the person is the fattest person around? Or whether the people around them consider them to be fat?



Not only do I not care, I probably don't even NOTICE. I tend to focus on one person at a time, so most comparisons elude me.


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## Jon Blaze (Jun 22, 2009)

I don't really care about it either. If someone catches my eye, it's not because of others or numbers: It's about what I see in them.


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## Orso (Jun 22, 2009)

edx said:


> As an FA you admire some attractive fat person. You think they look great, that they are extremely attractive to you.
> 
> Then you see them in a different context, where everyone else is either thinner or fatter...... Does that affect how much you are attracted to them compared to others?.....do you care .....if the person is the fattest person around? Or whether the people around them consider them to be fat?



For me attraction is not tied to the size. OK, is not tied only to size and general packaging. In my long period of sexual/sentimental activity I found quite a few BBWs who were just the perfect size but, for one reason or other, I didn't find them attractive. Others were not the perfect size, too slim or too large, but I was really attracted to them.

So, if I find a person attractive, it's because I find her attractive _per se_ and not because of her size. Definitely I would not compare that person to other people around, therefore I do not care at all if the person is the fattest or the skinniest of the jolly group and I care even less of what other people think.


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## bufbig (Jun 22, 2009)

It has no bearing on me either. I think that'd be pretty shallow also, to like one person one moment, then if someone else walks in who happens to be X size different, you're not attracted to them anymore.


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## stan_der_man (Jun 23, 2009)

I myself don't particularly take notice to size in relation of comparison to others. One thing I have noticed over the years though, as I have attended many large sized gatherings and have a large sized wife myself, I sometimes forget how thin and light "average sized" women can be.


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## bmann0413 (Jun 24, 2009)

Jon Blaze said:


> I don't really care about it either. If someone catches my eye, it's not because of others or numbers: It's about what I see in them.



Good answer, dude. That's how I feel. Sometimes I tend to stray away from that, but luckily I remember that I'm not like that at all.


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## Tad (Jun 24, 2009)

Interesting....it looks like relative or social fatness matters a lot more to fat folk than to FA. An interesting gap....not quite sure what all it could mean for fat-folk/admirer interactions, but something to think about.


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## Littleghost (Jun 24, 2009)

I'd say that I do notice, or at least tend to forget how big a girl is in a rather fat crowd, but the only thing that matters personally is her relative size to *me*. As long as she's bigger, I'm happy.


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## Melian (Jun 24, 2009)

99% of the time I won't notice my man's size relative to others. However, IF I notice that he is the fattest person around, it has the potential to be arousing.


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## StarWitness (Jun 24, 2009)

I agree with Littleghost. I'm attracted to the concept of a guy who's bigger than me. Not to say it's a requirement, of course, it's just a lot of fun to think about.


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## Blockierer (Jun 27, 2009)

As a married FA who is into SSBBWs I do not compare belly to belly, belly to hips, boobs to double-chin or something else.  Every SSBBW has a uniqui shape, that's great and comparation makes therefore no sense.
But I confess it has been a stimulating effect on my hormons to be with a (now my) fat woman among thin people both in reality and in fantasy.


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## pdgujer148 (Jun 27, 2009)

I exclusively date SSBBW. Over half of my close friends are plus-sized. 

Day to day, I don't give it much thought. We go out to movies, check out new places to eat, argue politics, gossip, hang out at the zoo, whatever...Aside from purely practical issues like not taking dates to REI for a wall scaling date, I barely notice size. 

Ok, not to be a donk, I notice size, but not as the sole factor of attraction.

I've never passed on a relationship because my partner wasn't large enough, and I've never felt uncomfortable (at least since my very early twenties) introducing a friend or lover who might be considered "too large". My partners have ranged from 180 to 500 pounds. Again, aside from the practical...

However, once in awhile, usually when I am single, and almost always on a Holiday, I get a whiff of how others might see me and my friends. My sister complains bitterly about the 1/8th inch of extra skin on her flank and makes a rude comment about a girl with a muffin top. My brother, the doctor, speaks in terms of morbidity and quality of life. My other brother, the Captain of Industry, reminds his wife that the mini carrots are better for her than the pepper jack.

I doesn't make me terribly uncomfortable. Perhaps a bit annoyed. I know that my family loves me and they have always treated my partners with warmth and respect.

However, it does underline how different our perceptions of the world are, and for a few days each year, especially when I am alone, and a little more suceptible, I feel "other" amidst my kin. Like the are tolerating me and my weird fetish--hoping that I will grow out of this phase (Might have more to do with being the youngest then with my preferences).

I wish it were different, but whatever. I love my family. I love my life and the people in it. If it doesn't fit perfectly I can accept that. I'll make it work because it is worth it.


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