# Transitioning



## Maize (Jan 13, 2021)

Hey, everyone!

I've just begun the process of pursuing transitioning services for gender affirmation. I no longer identify as a cis male, although I'm not 100% sure where I'll wind up on the gender spectrum. I'm heavily leaning toward identifying as a trans woman using she/her pronouns, but I'm leaving open the possibility that as I explore, I may wind up somewhere in the non-binary realm. 

I'm still at the very very start of being "out" about this and starting to try to access services. The new profile picture I've set here is actually a current selfie run through FaceApp's "gender" filter. There are all kinds of problems with that filter, of course, but for now, this is a photo that still feels like me but also feels more comfortable and affirming to me. It's likely to not be accurate in the long run, I know. I think of it as aspirational.

I was wondering if anyone out there has gone through this process before, and specifically as a fat person. I've had my first appointment to discuss this with my regular GP/doctor, and she was great and supportive but also admitted that this is not her area of expertise, so she's sending me to a specialist. Since it took me ages to find a doctor who treated me well and without overt anti-fat bias, I'm worried about this all over again with being referred to a specialist. I don't have the best past record of experiences with specialists, some of whom have denied me access to basic care because of their fatphobia, and some of whom were even racist to me. I do trust my GP, though, and I hope she finds someone good.

I'm also worried about gatekeeping because of my weight. Since I'm AMAB and would be seeking feminizing hormone therapy, I'd be facing risk assessments for both hypertension and diabetes, among other things. And of course, looking long term, if I consider SRS, that comes with all of the BMI restrictions associated with major surgery in general. 

(Unrelated to fatness, but I'm also worried about how effective this is all likely to be for me, getting such a late start. I'm 49, and all of the documents talk about how getting an early start is a major factor, but especially that efficacy drops off sharply after 50. Of course, 49 is less than 50, but it's close, and if I wind up having to satisfy a lot of weird protocols to get access to treatments, I could easily be 50 by the time I actually start.)

Anyway, I'm just curious if anyone has any experiences to share, or even if people just want to wish me luck. It's scary, but I think it's going to be really good for me.


----------



## stampy (Jan 14, 2021)

I am happy to wish you luck!! It sounds like you have an adventure ahead!!! Maybe it will be like a rebirth. If there is any way I can help, let me know!!


----------



## BigElectricKat (Jan 14, 2021)

I would also like to wish you luck in the coming days/weeks/months. It's well known that any surgery is a risk so I'm crossing my fingers for you. I have to tell you that I think you are very brave for taking these steps toward your happiness.


----------



## Tad (Jan 14, 2021)

Good luck, Maize, and I hope you'll free to come back here and comment, vent, or whatever about the process. Also I admire your bravery for embarking on this adventure.


----------



## loopytheone (Jan 14, 2021)

Best of luck to you! I do know of a couple of fat trans people, though they are younger and they aren't people I was very close to so I don't have much insight there, I'm afraid. 

Wherever you end up in your journey exploring your gender, I wish you happiness and health. 

Perhaps you will be able to get hormone treatments or surgery in the future, which would be great, but even if not, please don't be sad or discouraged. You are who you are, and that is just as valid with or without treatments. It's a shame you don't live in the UK or I could offer some help with finding plus sized clothes stores and such, hm.

Well, I'm sorry I can't be much help, but my inbox is open if you need to talk and don't mind waiting for my slow self to reply, hah! I'm not trans myself but I am fat and female so I can offer advice from that perspective.


----------



## extra_m13 (Jan 26, 2021)

not a story to share about the topic but i do wish you the best of luck and if i can be of help in any way please let me know. we are all here to make everyone feel loved and accepted.


----------



## Maize (Jul 30, 2021)

Thank you all for the replies! I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner. I've been busy and immersed in other things and haven't been on dimensions much of late.

I have to say that, despite starting late in life, I'm 100% glad that I finally decided to do what I need to do to live authentically as me.

The process is agonizingly gradual in a lot of ways, and I've undergone very little by way of physical changes so far, but I still wouldn't trade it for the world. Also, the emotional and mental changes have been, if anything, much more powerful.

Plus, I just feel so much more content with myself, overall. A lot of people have told me that I look like I'm glowing.  

There are a lot of hard elements, especially where some people in my life have had trouble with it. And I'm still not 100% out to everyone. Almost, but I'm just yet working up to having the conversation with my parents. I feel that will happen soon, though.

Thank you all for the encouragement!


----------



## Monster (Jul 31, 2021)

I'm so proud of and happy for you!!! Welcome to the Family


----------



## Tad (Aug 3, 2021)

I'm glad that you are getting the needed mental changes, even if the physical come more slowly.


----------



## AmyJo1976 (Aug 4, 2021)

Congratulations Maize! All the best wishes in your transition!


----------



## loopytheone (Aug 5, 2021)

Glad it's going well for you Maize, and long may it continue. =)


----------

