# BBW Confessions thread



## Tina

I confess that it's much quieter in here than I expected. It feels a little uncomfortable, even though many have wanted this for a long time.

I also confess that I'm beyond thrilled that olwen and butch are fellow mods here.


----------



## olwen

I confess, that I don't have much to confess except to say that this board is awesome.


----------



## ashmamma84

IC my heart kinda fluttered when my honey and I were talking and out of nowhere she grabbed me by my waist and said, "I really love your curves, and your lumps and your bumps." She then sort of blushed and grinned at the same time. That TOTALLY made my week.

:wubu::wubu::wubu:


----------



## Fascinita

I confess that I can't wait to read scads of confessions here in the weeks to come.


----------



## Tina

Oh, Ash, that is so romantic.


----------



## ashmamma84

Tina said:


> Oh, Ash, that is so romantic.



Yeah, it was. I live for those moments of spontaneity though. *sigh*


----------



## mossystate

I'm fat.

.....


----------



## Tina

*snort* M, are ya sure???

I do, too, Ash. I confess that I am a sucker for romance.


----------



## Fascinita

oooooooh! IC that the title of this thread--"BBW Confessions"--sounds ever-so-slightly titillating to my ears. :batting:  I imagine a smoky voice-over, sounding like the woman's who does those Milky Way commercials. You know?


----------



## TraciJo67

mossystate said:


> I'm fat.
> 
> .....



IC that I :wubu: fat, crusty Mossything just as she is.


----------



## mossystate

Tina said:


> *snort* M, are ya sure???



I realized that I sounded like I just woke from a coma. *L*

I wanted to say it in a place where it could stand on its own, no person from any ' side ' telling me that I should do this or do that ( be bigger or be smaller ). Just felt kind of like sitting in the pit we used to dig in the snow, when I was a kid. Was secure and quiet and was only...me. This makes sense in my head.





TraciJo67 said:


> IC that I :wubu: fat, crusty Mossything just as she is.




I confess that I feel comforted knowing that TraciVaJoJo considers me a friend.


----------



## Fascinita

mossystate said:


> I wanted to say it in a place where it could stand on its own, no person from any ' side ' telling me that I should do this or do that ( be bigger or be smaller ). Just felt kind of like sitting in the pit we used to dig in the snow, when I was a kid. Was secure and quiet and was only...me. This makes sense in my head.



It makes sense to me, too.

----

Oh, and IC that there is a mouse (I think) in the floorboards of the floor above me, and it's been driving me nuts with its teeny tiny movements in there for months.

IC that it feels good to confess to something that is not necessarily weight related, though I wonder if this is "on topic" enough.


----------



## Tina

Makes sense to me, too, but when put into context. Before that, yeah, the coma thing. 

The thread is on topic, Lizzy, but you wondering if it is or not is off-topic. Bad Lizzy.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I really,really hate reality shows..They all make me sick..


----------



## Keb

IC that I just had my first "real" kiss last weekend...and I can't wait for the next one!


----------



## Tania

I confess that it makes me feel giddy and insurmountably confident when someone who knew me when I was at my physical zenith tells me that he thinks I'm hotter now than I was then. Also doesn't hurt that he was telling me how amazing and sexy I am as he proceeded to f* my brains out. ;D


----------



## Tau

I confess I really, really want somebody to fuck my brains out *sigh* I'm sooooo jealous Tania


----------



## Tania

Keep at it, girl. You've been putting yourself out there, and that will pay off.


----------



## comaseason

IC I do not want to go to work today. That is why I'm still here instead of on my way out the door like I should be.


----------



## thatgirl08

I confess that I think I found a boy who appreciates me for the person I am AND thinks I'm totally hot. :wubu:


----------



## bexy

I confess that I cried about my body recently and I haven't done that in a very long time. I realised I had new stretchmarks, which I understand what with there being a full term baby inside of my tum tum, but I think they are ugly and they really upset me. They are red and new looking and made me cry. I haven't put on any weight, actually lost a lot since being pregnant, so the stretchmarks caught me a bit by surprise.

Oh and I understand there are a lot of people that find new fresh stretchmarks attractive or a turn on, but I don't, certainly not on me when I have never really had them before and I am happy I have somewhere to say that without being told off.


----------



## NoWayOut

thatgirl08 said:


> I confess that I think I found a boy who appreciates me for the person I am AND thinks I'm totally hot. :wubu:



That's awesome, everyone deserves to have someone like them for who they are.


----------



## TraciJo67

Keb said:


> IC that I just had my first "real" kiss last weekend...and I can't wait for the next one!



Details! Share 'em!


----------



## Teresa

IC that I'm really enjoying this BBW board.

IC, although I'm not real sure it's a confession, maybe more like bragging?? LOL But, I'm gonna say it anyway..... IC that I was recently told I kiss "fucking fantastic". :bounce:


----------



## Teleute

IC that I'm feeling pretty damn sexy today, and the cute courier who I'm pretty sure is an FA has been all blushy and fumbly every time he comes to the window to drop stuff off, and it's totally been boosting my ego (which I fully admit did not need help today, heh). Either that, or I've got a big mark or something on my face and he doesn't know how to tell me.  Ah well, I'll go with the interpretation that makes me feel better


----------



## olwen

Keb said:


> IC that I just had my first "real" kiss last weekend...and I can't wait for the next one!



Cool. I'm sure the next one will soon follow.


----------



## Tooz

(Sorry if this is a downer of a confession.)

IC that I still struggle with my body sometimes. I look at myself, and it's not that I wish I was thinner, it's more that I wish my body was differently shaped (see the in-betweenie thread). I wish I was more defined. Larger butt, smaller stomach and ...overall larger bottom half. I'm not an apple, I'm definitely not a pear but I don't feel like I am an hourglass, either. I sometimes wonder if there is any way to spot-reduce. I feel bad about that.


----------



## Punkin1024

My confession is a bit like Tooz's - 

I wish my fat was more evenly distributed, instead of mostly being around the middle. I think my body looks a little goofy because my legs and arms are much smaller than the rest of me. Sigh!


----------



## Punkin1024

bexy said:


> I confess that I cried about my body recently and I haven't done that in a very long time. I realised I had new stretchmarks, which I understand what with there being a full term baby inside of my tum tum, but I think they are ugly and they really upset me. They are red and new looking and made me cry. I haven't put on any weight, actually lost a lot since being pregnant, so the stretchmarks caught me a bit by surprise.
> 
> Oh and I understand there are a lot of people that find new fresh stretchmarks attractive or a turn on, but I don't, certainly not on me when I have never really had them before and I am happy I have somewhere to say that without being told off.



Awww, sweetie! Perhaps you can try using Palmer's Stretch Mark cream to reduce the redness. If you don't have Palmer's in Ireland, I'm sure there is a cream you can find that targets stretch marks.

(((((((Bexy)))))))


----------



## Kellie Kay

i totally agree with the posts above me <3 im constantly wishing my butt was rounder, and i try to make it that why but it seems like all the weight i gain goes everywhere but to my butt! lol but it's only every now and then lol


----------



## thatgirl08

thatgirl08 said:


> I confess that I think I found a boy who appreciates me for the person I am AND thinks I'm totally hot. :wubu:



IC that this boy asked me to be his girlfriend today and now I'm totally giddy.


----------



## Weeze

thatgirl08 said:


> IC that this boy asked me to be his girlfriend today and now I'm totally giddy.



I just went WOO.

like. out loud.


----------



## StarWitness

IC that I went to get my driver's license photo taken a few weeks ago, I was feeling like a million bucks, and when I got it in the mail, I was disappointed to see that it was one of the worst photos of me in existence. Sadness.


----------



## bufbig

krismiss said:


> I just went WOO.
> 
> like. out loud.


I went "YAY" at the time. :happy:



thatgirl08 said:


> IC that this boy asked me to be his girlfriend today and now I'm totally giddy.


 :wubu:


----------



## katherine22

Keb said:


> IC that I just had my first "real" kiss last weekend...and I can't wait for the next one!




I am happy for you.


----------



## katherine22

I confess that I am terrified of getting old. I had no appreciation of myself when I was young, and I hate watching myself aging. I confess that I wonder if I will have the courage to keepn living.


----------



## Tracy

IC that I'm a sucker for tall dark handsome men. I also confess that this morning when I stopped at the old country store for my bacon and egg biscuit that those redneck looking guys were kinda HOT   I just might have to go back tomorrow morning!


----------



## steely

I confess that I am really enjoying the BBW Forum. Thank you for allowing a place for us to discuss relevant and important issues. :bow:


----------



## Tooz

Kellie Kay said:


> i totally agree with the posts above me <3 im constantly wishing my butt was rounder, and i try to make it that why but it seems like all the weight i gain goes everywhere but to my butt! lol but it's only every now and then lol



We need to reenact the time we lifted our back fat to look at how big our butts would be...and get a picture.


----------



## butch

IC that I'm honored to help Tina and Olwen mod this forum. 

Although, truth be told, I might not know enough about the second B and the W in the acronym 'BBW' to be of use here on the boards, but I'll do my best.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

IC that I have been light headed, off and on, for the last 3 days. I'm not sure if its from lack of sleep (my work schedule has been crazy, I'm back in school, and the kids just got back from Florida) or not eating right (I don't really cook when its just me) but if after this weekend I'm not feeling back to normal I'm gonna have to go see a doctor.


----------



## Tania

I hope you feel better soon, Ella. 

I confess that I fuck myself over a lot. It would be nice, just once, to follow my heart into something that won't cut me up into a million emo little pieces. 

Just keep swimming...just keep swimming...just keep swimming... :'(


----------



## MsAppleCinnamon

i confess i am new here on the forums, and hope i get to chat with a lot of people here and make new friends..=]


----------



## Cors

butch said:


> IC that I'm honored to help Tina and Olwen mod this forum.
> 
> Although, truth be told, I might not know enough about the second B and the W in the acronym 'BBW' to be of use here on the boards, but I'll do my best.



Hmm, how about Big Boyish Woman or Big Butch Woman? :wubu:


----------



## Teresa

katherine22 said:


> I confess that I am terrified of getting old. I had no appreciation of myself when I was young, and I hate watching myself aging. I confess that I wonder if I will have the courage to keepn living.



Katherine, I predict you'll have the courage if going by the thoughtful, intelligent, courageous posts you put out on a continuous basis is any indication. Growing older is difficult for each of us as we reach milestones. When I reached 30, that was no problem for me, unlike my sister. When I reached 40, again no problem, unlike my younger brother. Now I'm getting closer to 50 and I have a feeling that will be a difficult milestone for me. We each have stages in our lives where we find it difficult to continue on as before, so we have to make the changes necessary for our lives and try to have a positive outlook. Difficult at times, but definitely worth the effort. 

I take comfort in the fact that women and men are more active and are living much longer and productive lives. 

Teresa


----------



## Fascinita

I confess that today I feel accomplished, happy, and fulfilled.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

IC that I got defensive today while going over a presentation with my co-workers. I realized I was doing it and eventually just took a deep breath and shut my mouth, but not before a couple of people noticed.


----------



## olwen

StarWitness said:


> IC that I went to get my driver's license photo taken a few weeks ago, I was feeling like a million bucks, and when I got it in the mail, I was disappointed to see that it was one of the worst photos of me in existence. Sadness.



Nobody looks good in their driver's license. I can't wait for my to expire so I can get a new picture.



katherine22 said:


> I confess that I am terrified of getting old. I had no appreciation of myself when I was young, and I hate watching myself aging. I confess that I wonder if I will have the courage to keepn living.



I wish I knew something to say to make you feel better about it. IC I worry too about that and I'm younger than you. I mostly worry about my arthritic knees and whether I'll be able to get them replaced without too much hassle from doctors. I try not to think about it tho. 



Tooz said:


> (Sorry if this is a downer of a confession.)
> 
> IC that I still struggle with my body sometimes. I look at myself, and it's not that I wish I was thinner, it's more that I wish my body was differently shaped (see the in-betweenie thread). I wish I was more defined. Larger butt, smaller stomach and ...overall larger bottom half. I'm not an apple, I'm definitely not a pear but I don't feel like I am an hourglass, either. I sometimes wonder if there is any way to spot-reduce. I feel bad about that.



Everybody has parts they wish they could modify. IC I wish my arms were smaller so I could wear blouses and cute shirts that have arms. I have a ton of tank tops, but I get sick of wearing them sometimes.



butch said:


> IC that I'm honored to help Tina and Olwen mod this forum.
> 
> Although, truth be told, I might not know enough about the second B and the W in the acronym 'BBW' to be of use here on the boards, but I'll do my best.



Butchie, you don't need an acronym, but you could always call yourself a Big Butch Whatchamacallit. 

Also, IC, I saw a totally hot BHM today with long hair in a pony tail that took me back to my heavy metal days and I couldn't stop staring. :blush:


----------



## mossystate

I have been quite productive today, and I am doing my best to keep a particular worry in perspective. I also confess that I no longer want to lug around a certain number of pounds, and want to get in the frame of mind where I can approach the issue with some peace and calm...and action.


----------



## SparklingBBW

IC that I love this new forum! Thanks to everyone who made it happen! 

.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

katherine22 said:


> I confess that I am terrified of getting old. I had no appreciation of myself when I was young, and I hate watching myself aging. I confess that I wonder if I will have the courage to keepn living.




I understand where you are coming from..The only b-day that bothered me a lot was when I turned 25..I was a total wreck and couldn't stop crying all day..After that I have thought of growing older as writing a book..Each day is a new page and every year is a new chapter..When I am in a bad mood, I open my book and look back on my life..I read through my pages and realize that I had a pretty good life..It wasn't perfect nor should it have been but even the bad parts now look like it was an interesting time in my life,something I would not trade for youth..I am going to keep writing pages and chapters until it is time for me to leave..I then wish my children and g-children would open my book and read it and realize that things I did in it were because I was me..


----------



## steely

I confess I think of mountains and rocks by the sea, homesick for a place I've never been.


----------



## Punkin1024

IC I'm sick of this hot, hot weather!


----------



## butch

Good advice, Cors and Olwen! I think I shall henceforth be known as a *B*lue *B*ehemoth *W*alrus. It kinda has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?


----------



## olwen

butch said:


> Good advice, Cors and Olwen! I think I shall henceforth be known as a *B*lue *B*ehemoth *W*alrus. It kinda has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?



Coo coo cachoo.


----------



## butch

olwen said:


> Coo coo cachoo.



 Tried to rep you, but couldn't.


----------



## comaseason

IC I just bought new jammies... and I look h.o.t. in em.


----------



## kayrae

IC that I'm pining away for a boy who doesn't quite know what he wants from me. Sweet one moment, ignores me the next. Mysterious, neurotic, incredibly intelligent. I am emotionally attached. I've been trying unsuccessfully to get over him and find someone else for the last three months.


----------



## leener38

I confess to lurking around these parts for years. Finally grew a pair, and decided to come out of the shadows more or less. Even chose an avatar pic. At 5'5" and 280+/-, I guess I couldn't hide too much! It's so hard to find a niche to squeeze into comfortably, but forums like these help!


----------



## QueenB

i confess that sex just gets better and better. the wg has definitely been a part of it ;]


----------



## Tina

Yay! Welcome, leener! Lovely to see you. 

So many remarks I'd like to make to so many posts, but I confess I'm beyond exhausted and can't gather my thoughts. 

Very poetic, steely.


----------



## Carrie

I confess that while I was/am a huge supporter of this forum and am truly happy to see it here at last, I feel somewhat vaguely unwelcome because of the several comments I've already read about supersized women (like myself) making you lovely mid-sizers feel unwelcome or somehow invalidated because of your size. I feel shitty that that's ever happened to any of you, here or in real life, and fervently wish it hadn't, but I hope no one loses sight of the fact that there are many, _many_ (in fact, I would venture to say the majority of) supersized women (again, like myself) who have never been anything but supportive and welcoming of our smaller friends. I hate that the negative in life always seems to get more press than the positive.


----------



## Ruffie

I confess that I am sick and tired of being judged for my body shape and size rather than the inner beauty I possess. At 45 I am more than just a fat middle aged lady!


----------



## olwen

Carrie said:


> I confess that while I was/am a huge supporter of this forum and am truly happy to see it here at last, I feel somewhat vaguely unwelcome because of the several comments I've already read about supersized women (like myself) making you lovely mid-sizers feel unwelcome or somehow invalidated because of your size. I feel shitty that that's ever happened to any of you, here or in real life, and fervently wish it hadn't, but I hope no one loses sight of the fact that there are many, _many_ (in fact, I would venture to say the majority of) supersized women (again, like myself) who have never been anything but supportive and welcoming of our smaller friends. I hate that the negative in life always seems to get more press than the positive.



Carrie, the good thing about this board is that we can all be here to learn from each other. Sometimes that will mean hearing things that make us a little uncomfortable but that's okay. If something makes us uncomfortable it means we're really thinking about it. To my mind that's a good thing.


----------



## Carrie

olwen said:


> If something makes us uncomfortable it means we're really thinking about it. To my mind that's a good thing.


Oh, ick, thinking.


----------



## Grandi Floras

I confess that I am still having a lot of trouble thinking that a man would want to be with me since I am a BBW. 

I am just wondering, if there are so many FAs out there, why, after all of these years of being here on Dimensions and out here in real life, have I never been approached by any man for dating or a relationship? I confess that I am at a loss.......


----------



## D_A_Bunny

IC that I checked and checked to see if this forum was open and then I started a farm on Farm Town in facebook. I have been so busy trying to build up my little farm, I just now noticed that the lights are on here.

Hello everyone!


----------



## Fascinita

Christine! Are you farming crullers? 

Good to see you, bun-bun.


----------



## D_A_Bunny

Fascinita said:


> Christine! Are you farming crullers?
> 
> Good to see you, bun-bun.



You truly are a wordsmith my friend.:wubu: Hey if they had a game where there were pastries and stuff, you might never see me again.


----------



## comaseason

IC I just sneezed so hard I bit my tongue.


----------



## Punkin1024

D_A_Bunny said:


> IC that I checked and checked to see if this forum was open and then I started a farm on Farm Town in facebook. I have been so busy trying to build up my little farm, I just now noticed that the lights are on here.
> 
> Hello everyone!



Hey there! You know, I may just let my little farm at Facebook go fallow, because I'd rather spend more time in here with my fatty friends!


----------



## D_A_Bunny

Punkin1024 said:


> Hey there! You know, I may just let my little farm at Facebook go fallow, because I'd rather spend more time in here with my fatty friends!



It only takes a few minutes per day to keep it up. You can always plant long term crops. But either way, it will be good to hang out.


----------



## steadydecline

Kinda goes with Carrie's comment.

IC that even on a forum based on acceptance, I still worry about being judged or generally disliked. I mean, I'm only 170 lbs, hardly a SS, and I know that larger women sometimes have more problems than I, but I have dealt with my share of intolerance, hatred, and hurtful remarks. I've already had one person (who shall remain unnamed) PM me saying basically "What's the big deal? You're not even fat. Deal with it." It kind of made me want to leave...I guess I take things too personally. :/


----------



## D_A_Bunny

steadydecline said:


> Kinda goes with Carrie's comment.
> 
> IC that even on a forum based on acceptance, I still worry about being judged or generally disliked. I mean, I'm only 170 lbs, hardly a SS, and I know that larger women sometimes have more problems than I, but I have dealt with my share of intolerance, hatred, and hurtful remarks. I've already had one person (who shall remain unnamed) PM me saying basically "What's the big deal? You're not even fat. Deal with it." It kind of made me want to leave...I guess I take things too personally. :/



Noone has the right to tell you that you do not belong here. If you want to belong, that is your choice and you are welcome here. Please do not leave based on one person's remarks.

If any woman feels that she wants the camaraderie and support of other women who are fat, or think they are fat, or feel fat, then this is the place to be.

Please stay and read and post. I think you will like it a lot. 

FYI - if you ever feel that someone is treating you inappropriately, please contact a moderator and let them know so that they can help you.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I just saw Transformers II and loved every minute of it..I am such a sci-fi geek!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Carrie said:


> I confess that while I was/am a huge supporter of this forum and am truly happy to see it here at last, I feel somewhat vaguely unwelcome because of the several comments I've already read about supersized women (like myself) making you lovely mid-sizers feel unwelcome or somehow invalidated because of your size. I feel shitty that that's ever happened to any of you, here or in real life, and fervently wish it hadn't, but I hope no one loses sight of the fact that there are many, _many_ (in fact, I would venture to say the majority of) supersized women (again, like myself) who have never been anything but supportive and welcoming of our smaller friends. I hate that the negative in life always seems to get more press than the positive.





steadydecline said:


> Kinda goes with Carrie's comment.
> 
> IC that even on a forum based on acceptance, I still worry about being judged or generally disliked. I mean, I'm only 170 lbs, hardly a SS, and I know that larger women sometimes have more problems than I, but I have dealt with my share of intolerance, hatred, and hurtful remarks. I've already had one person (who shall remain unnamed) PM me saying basically "What's the big deal? You're not even fat. Deal with it." It kind of made me want to leave...I guess I take things too personally. :/




I am so sorry you both feel so bad..I agree that we all need to work on accepting one another based on the fact we are women and not by our dress size..


----------



## Carrie

steadydecline said:


> Kinda goes with Carrie's comment.
> 
> IC that even on a forum based on acceptance, I still worry about being judged or generally disliked. I mean, I'm only 170 lbs, hardly a SS, and I know that larger women sometimes have more problems than I, but I have dealt with my share of intolerance, hatred, and hurtful remarks. I've already had one person (who shall remain unnamed) PM me saying basically "What's the big deal? You're not even fat. Deal with it." It kind of made me want to leave...I guess I take things too personally. :/


Ugh, that is complete bullshit! Makes me so mad to hear this kind of thing. SD, I really hope you will consider reporting that PM to a moderator, so whomever said that can be properly infracted (my preference would be tossed out on his/her ass!). Please, please, please believe that you are absolutely welcome here, regardless of size! I'm certain that you have, as you said, dealt with your share of human jerkiness and have a lot to contribute here, and to learn, as we all do, whether you're a size 0 or a size, well, me.  

So stay and post, okay? You won't regret it.  



BubbleButtBabe said:


> I am so sorry you both feel so bad..I agree that we all need to work on accepting one another based on the fact we are women and not by our dress size..


Thanks for this, BBB. Wise words!


----------



## Leesa

D_A_Bunny said:


> IC that I checked and checked to see if this forum was open and then I started a farm on Farm Town in facebook. I have been so busy trying to build up my little farm, I just now noticed that the lights are on here.
> 
> Hello everyone!



WOW, there are so MANY BBW farmers! 
I am always looking for a great neighbour.


----------



## tinkerbell

steadydecline said:


> Kinda goes with Carrie's comment.
> 
> IC that even on a forum based on acceptance, I still worry about being judged or generally disliked. I mean, I'm only 170 lbs, hardly a SS, and I know that larger women sometimes have more problems than I, but I have dealt with my share of intolerance, hatred, and hurtful remarks. I've already had one person (who shall remain unnamed) PM me saying basically "What's the big deal? You're not even fat. Deal with it." It kind of made me want to leave...I guess I take things too personally. :/




I feel the same way, and have been told the same crap in the past too. That I wasnt fat enough to be here, or even fat at all. It made me want to leave, and kind of put me in perma lurk mode, as I take things to personally too.


----------



## Grandi Floras

I confess that I am not really sure what this thread is actually for.......


----------



## olwen

steadydecline said:


> Kinda goes with Carrie's comment.
> 
> IC that even on a forum based on acceptance, I still worry about being judged or generally disliked. I mean, I'm only 170 lbs, hardly a SS, and I know that larger women sometimes have more problems than I, but I have dealt with my share of intolerance, hatred, and hurtful remarks. I've already had one person (who shall remain unnamed) PM me saying basically "What's the big deal? You're not even fat. Deal with it." It kind of made me want to leave...I guess I take things too personally. :/



As a few others have already stated, harassment is definitely not okay. If anyone has been harassed via PM or otherwise please report it to a moderator. You have just as much right to be here harassment free as anyone else no matter what size you are. 

/mod


----------



## rubmyroundbelly

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC I just saw Transformers II and loved every minute of it..I am such a sci-fi geek!



Ooooooooooooooooh I wanna see that!! IC that I too am a scifi geek and I'm not ashamed of it! 

Tess


----------



## Sweet Tooth

IC that the SA movement and this site have given me a great deal of overall confidence in my life in the last 17 years, I still have a hard time thinking that I'm not still automatically judged based on weight by others, like it's a fight I'm constantly ready to have. Of course, I go about my life without stressing too much about my size either. It's very matter-of-fact.

IC that I'm completely unmotivated to do anything productive these days, as much as I want to get stuff done. I worry sometimes that my weight makes it harder to fight inertia, but I think sometimes it's just that there's a disconnect between what I want to do and what I feel guilted into doing by society's norms. [Like, hey, maybe I want to come home and eat dinner while chatting rather than getting yardwork done.]

IC that sometimes living so closely tied to an online community really skews my idea of how things work. Take relationships... the start of something... and how intense it is online versus how it is offline where you talk every few days, go on occasional dates, etc.


----------



## tinkerbell

IC we're going to go see Transformers 2 today, for the 2nd time


----------



## GoldenDelicious

bexy said:


> I confess that I cried about my body recently and I haven't done that in a very long time. I realised I had new stretchmarks, which I understand what with there being a full term baby inside of my tum tum, but I think they are ugly and they really upset me. They are red and new looking and made me cry. I haven't put on any weight, actually lost a lot since being pregnant, so the stretchmarks caught me a bit by surprise.
> 
> Oh and I understand there are a lot of people that find new fresh stretchmarks attractive or a turn on, but I don't, certainly not on me when I have never really had them before and I am happy I have somewhere to say that without being told off.


aaah, Bexy, your stretch marks will fade with time and be less noticeable. Keep your skin well moisturised and this will help the elasticity. Also bio oil is meant to be quite good. My friend used it and said it helped. I suspect your hormones had a part to play in your tears over your body. Your body is doing something amazing right now, it's growing an actual human being that will grow up and love you and have an entire personality all of his/her own. Your stretch marks show that you have produced a life using your body to grow it in, that's pretty special. So you'll have a few stretch marks, fuck it!

I wish you a healthy happy baby, I'm sure you'll be a great mother.


----------



## bobbleheaddoll

bexy said:


> I confess that I cried about my body recently and I haven't done that in a very long time. I realised I had new stretchmarks, which I understand what with there being a full term baby inside of my tum tum, but I think they are ugly and they really upset me. They are red and new looking and made me cry. I haven't put on any weight, actually lost a lot since being pregnant, so the stretchmarks caught me a bit by surprise.
> 
> Oh and I understand there are a lot of people that find new fresh stretchmarks attractive or a turn on, but I don't, certainly not on me when I have never really had them before and I am happy I have somewhere to say that without being told off.


 
hi bexy! goldendelicious it totally right...it is all about moisturizing. i would highly recommend shea butter or cocoa butter. you can usually get pure shea or cocoa butter at a naturals store. it is great for your skin and will help ease up the stretch marks. this will help soften your skin and moisturize to hopefully lessen the chances of getting any more. try doing it right after your shower when you skin is very hydrated and really any time you feel your skin could use it. 

i confess that i too lost a ton of weight during pregnancy (50lbs), but it was mostly due to 8 months of morning sickness and projectile vomiting. 
 luckily i was a chunky chick and had the mass to spare


----------



## DeniseW

I confess that we went to see Bruno this weekend even though I knew it would be sick but I laughed so hard that I almost peed my pants!!


----------



## Punkin1024

I confess that I've been a bit down lately. Too many stresses at work and at home has made me want to escape for a while. Thank goodness I have the internets...especially Dimensions and the BBW Forum. Sigh!


----------



## steely

Punkin1024 said:


> I confess that I've been a bit down lately. Too many stresses at work and at home has made me want to escape for a while. Thank goodness I have the internets...especially Dimensions and the BBW Forum. Sigh!



Hope you start feeling better soon! I know I can identify with wanting to escape.


----------



## Tracy

IC that I'm feeling down today! I found out the land I was going to purchase to build a house on was not approved for the septic tank. I kinda dread starting the search over again for a piece of land. Not sure what to do!


----------



## ashmamma84

IC somedays, like today, when I can really feel ALL of my fat; its like I'm moving in slow mo' or something. Like I just can't get with it no matter what; I have so much I need to accomplish before going on vacay but my body is saying DOES NOT COMPUTE, for some reason. 

Ugh. I put off running errands because I knew I just didn't have the energy to walk around the store to get what I needed...and I'd end up being a sweaty, huffy, puffy mess. 

Fat is where its at, but sometimes (very rarely), I kinda think to myself, "not so much."


----------



## Punkin1024

ashmamma84 said:


> IC somedays, like today, when I can really feel ALL of my fat; its like I'm moving in slow mo' or something. Like I just can't get with it no matter what; I have so much I need to accomplish before going on vacay but my body is saying DOES NOT COMPUTE, for some reason.
> 
> Fat is where its at, but sometimes (very rarely), I kinda think to myself, "not so much."



Does it help to know that I totally understand what you're saying and how you are feeling? 

IC that I'm tired of this week, can it be Friday night right now! Sigh!


----------



## fatgirlflyin

IC that I had dinner with a Dimmer and she is one cool chickadee!


----------



## PunkPeach

I confess that I am still talking to my most recent ex, I have a horrible habit as keeping them as friends.


----------



## Weeze

QueenB said:


> i confess that sex just gets better and better. the wg has definitely been a part of it ;]



I've actually heard this from a few people. I kinda sorta almost casually mentioned it to my mom the other day, and she said that it might have something to do with the fact that when you gain weight your hormones shift and your libido can skyrocket. Obviously, my mother does not know why I would *really* ask such a thing. 



steadydecline said:


> Kinda goes with Carrie's comment.
> 
> IC that even on a forum based on acceptance, I still worry about being judged or generally disliked. I mean, I'm only 170 lbs, hardly a SS, and I know that larger women sometimes have more problems than I, but I have dealt with my share of intolerance, hatred, and hurtful remarks. I've already had one person (who shall remain unnamed) PM me saying basically "What's the big deal? You're not even fat. Deal with it." It kind of made me want to leave...I guess I take things too personally. :/



I wouldn't call taking that too personally. No lie. Whoever said that to you is full of shit. First off. You seem freaking adorable and I promise that's not just the raging homo inside of me saying that. Stay. Post. Besides we need more younger chicas 



PunkPeach said:


> I confess that I am still talking to my most recent ex, I have a horrible habit as keeping them as friends.



Ew. I have a habit of this too. No fun. no. fun. at. all.


----------



## Friday

I confess, she's even cuter in person!


----------



## Shosh

IC that I am loving that my thighs are all filled out and jiggly and wobbly again since I have gained weight. They look so much nicer now.


----------



## lypeaches

First, I confess that I'm an oblivious idiot, 'cause I just now noticed this new BBW forum. 

Second, I confess to 2 major celebrity crushes....LL Cool J ('cause he's beautiful and sweet) and Jeff Goldblum (because he just IS sexy).


----------



## steely

lypeaches said:


> First, I confess that I'm an oblivious idiot, 'cause I just now noticed this new BBW forum.
> 
> Second, I confess to 2 major celebrity crushes....LL Cool J ('cause he's beautiful and sweet) and Jeff Goldblum (because he just IS sexy).



Isn't Jeff Goldblum just hot!? Most people think I'm crazy, but since Earth Girls Are Easy he's just gotten better looking every year.


----------



## lypeaches

He's totally hot looking....but in particular I'm drawn to his hands and his really quirky personality. Totally dig it.


----------



## Make_Lunch_Not_War

steely said:


> Isn't Jeff Goldblum just hot!? Most people think I'm crazy, but since Earth Girls Are Easy he's just gotten better looking every year.



If you really like Jeff Goldblum, you might find his cartoon funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=depp...434868499&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=4

I found it hysterical but no one else I sent it to did.


----------



## lypeaches

hehe...too funny! Thanks!


----------



## mossystate

I am ok with being human, and would like others to worry more about themselves.


----------



## OneHauteMama

IC that I've been thinking about my last BF a LOT lately and I totally miss him...


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I am getting way to old to chase a 3 yo 24/7 for a week..I am wore out!!


----------



## steely

Make_Lunch_Not_War said:


> If you really like Jeff Goldblum, you might find his cartoon funny.
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=depp...434868499&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=4
> 
> I found it hysterical but no one else I sent it to did.



LOL, I loved it! Thanks!


----------



## LunaLove

IC my boyfriend wet my bed last night :/


----------



## mossystate

A man from Dimensions has popped up in my dreams...3 times...this last week, give or take. 


I am going to start charging him rent.


----------



## D_A_Bunny

mossystate said:


> A man from Dimensions has popped up in my dreams...3 times...this last week, give or take.
> 
> 
> I am going to start charging him rent.



When you say "popped up", what exactly do you mean my dear Mossy?:happy:


----------



## mossystate

D_A_Bunny said:


> When you say "popped up", what exactly do you mean my dear Mossy?:happy:



Shhhh. I planted that one for Traci.  Well, ummmm...one of the dreams was a lil.......fun.


----------



## Punkin1024

steely said:


> Isn't Jeff Goldblum just hot!? Most people think I'm crazy, but since Earth Girls Are Easy he's just gotten better looking every year.



Another Jeff Goldblum fan here! :happy:


----------



## olwen

IC, Jeff Goldblum doesn't do a thing for me. But he is kinda funny, like in that way where someone doesn't have to do anything to be funny.....I also confess that wasn't as clever as I thought it would be.


----------



## Fascinita

IC that I love this forum more and more every day.


----------



## mossystate

Fascinita said:


> IC that I love this forum more and more every day.



IC that you need to change your user title to...inowlpearable....or whatever...cuz that bottom half looks like an owl to me. Thanks. Bye.


----------



## D_A_Bunny

mossystate said:


> Shhhh. I planted that one for Traci.  Well, ummmm...one of the dreams was a lil.......fun.



And STILL that slacker has yet to show up. 



IC that sometimes I do like being me. Those are the days that make me happiest.


----------



## Fascinita

mossystate said:


> IC that you need to change your user title to...inowlpearable....or whatever...cuz that bottom half looks like an owl to me. Thanks. Bye.



IC that I'm thrilled you looked at my bottom half. Now let's cut to the chase and you show me yours. k? :eat2::smitten:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Fascinita said:


> IC that I'm thrilled you looked at my bottom half. Now let's cut to the chase and you show me yours. k? :eat2::smitten:




IC that I have taught you well, Grasshopper :bow:


Now snatch this chocolate bar from my palm......if you can


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

D_A_Bunny said:


> When you say "popped up", what exactly do you mean my dear Mossy?:happy:



You are a dirty, dirty bird......or should I say owl?


----------



## Punkin1024

"snicker" - you all are so funny! It is good to smile.

IC that I've had another mostly blah Saturday. Low energy, too much to do and overwhelmed by it all. At least I got some tasks accomplished at my little farm in Farm Town.


----------



## rainyday

Last night I watched 20/20 and one of the stories included footage of a camp for kids who are scarred by burns. Just a warm, supportive atmosphere where they're not oddities and their positives are reinforced.

Made me think it would be cool if there were fat camp for fat kids to go to too. Not the kind of fat camp I went to as a kid, but one that celebrates their value just as they are and lets them learn to move their bodies for the joy of it, not for how many pounds it will subtract. I wouldn't be surprised if fat kids who went to that kind of camp actually ended up thinner in the long run.


----------



## graceofangels

I've always wondered what life would be like if i were more like the rest of my family.


----------



## TraciJo67

mossystate said:


> Shhhh. I planted that one for Traci.  Well, ummmm...one of the dreams was a lil.......fun.



IC that while Mossytart is making the electronic moves on my very asleep hubby (who is right now bizzy snoring into our child's ear) *my* dreams will be all about being the creamy filling in the middle of an Estevez/Sheen brother sandwich. I had Orlando Bloom last night. I demanded that he show himself as Legalos and the whiny baby cried a bit about feeling objectified so I had to smack him around a little. It was for his own good.


----------



## cinnamitch

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> IC that I have taught you well, Grasshopper :bow:
> 
> 
> Now snatch this chocolate bar from my palm......if you can




OOOhhh, you said "snatch"


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I confess that I still melt for DJ Tiesto's "In My Memory" now as much as I did the first time I heard it. Beautiful love song of longing.....and regret and melancholy. 
I need to find myself some better music :doh:


----------



## fffff

lypeaches said:


> First, I confess that I'm an oblivious idiot, 'cause I just now noticed this new BBW forum.
> 
> Second, I confess to 2 major celebrity crushes....LL Cool J ('cause he's beautiful and sweet) and Jeff Goldblum (because he just IS sexy).




OMFG you have no idea, NO IDEA how much I LOVE Jeff Goldblum. 
I think I was maybe .. 6 when I saw jurassic park and all I remember was just thinking "I feel something different about this guy." 
He is my dream Jew.


----------



## Teleute

IC that my brain has been doing this thing lately (that I thought it stopped doing a while ago) where it replays times that I was really embarrassed/humiliated, like stuff from when I was in elementary school, and I get the physical "embarrassment" effects and blush really hard out of nowhere even though I know the stuff I'm mentally replaying is silly and it's not something that would embarrass me now. It just loops the moments over and over and then I'm feeling weirdly ashamed even though I'm just sitting by myself in the lab. Sigh... stupid brain, when will you ever shut up?


----------



## thatgirl08

Teleute said:


> IC that my brain has been doing this thing lately (that I thought it stopped doing a while ago) where it replays times that I was really embarrassed/humiliated, like stuff from when I was in elementary school, and I get the physical "embarrassment" effects and blush really hard out of nowhere even though I know the stuff I'm mentally replaying is silly and it's not something that would embarrass me now. It just loops the moments over and over and then I'm feeling weirdly ashamed even though I'm just sitting by myself in the lab. Sigh... stupid brain, when will you ever shut up?



This happens to me sometimes too.. not as much now, but when I was really being affected by my OCD. I think it's part of the obsessive thoughts. I'm not saying that this is what's happening to you, just random thoughts.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

IC that I'm home from my weekend in Vegas, and I'm sunburned and TIRED!


----------



## kayrae

IC that I'm in love with two coats. They're both expensive! How do I choose?


----------



## Cors

Post pics Kayrae!


----------



## Crystal

IC that a few friends went to an amusement park and told me of the amazing fun they had, and it made me miss riding rollercoasters, when I wasn't too big to fit into the seat.


----------



## Teleute

thatgirl08 said:


> This happens to me sometimes too.. not as much now, but when I was really being affected by my OCD. I think it's part of the obsessive thoughts. I'm not saying that this is what's happening to you, just random thoughts.



I'm glad I'm not the only one, heh. I do have family history of OCD and I have ADHD which is strongly linked to OCD, so it would probably be a good idea to discuss it with my therapist. 


Also, I wanna see the coats too!


----------



## kayrae

Steve Madden Hooded Duffle Coat

I can't find a link for the other coat.



Cors said:


> Post pics Kayrae!


----------



## Teleute

!!

I don't know about the other one, but that coat is AWESOME! I love the fuschia plaid and the toggles.


----------



## thatgirl08

Teleute said:


> I'm glad I'm not the only one, heh. I do have family history of OCD and I have ADHD which is strongly linked to OCD, so it would probably be a good idea to discuss it with my therapist.



Yeah you should. :]


----------



## olwen

CrystalUT11 said:


> IC that a few friends went to an amusement park and told me of the amazing fun they had, and it made me miss riding rollercoasters, when I wasn't too big to fit into the seat.



IC, I do not miss roller coasters at all. The last time I was on one (in high school I think) it got stuck and it was the kind where you dangle from the track. My seat was dangling over a pond and I was uncomfortable, couldn't breathe well and it was all I could do to keep from having a panic attack. No thanks.


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that I wish I had more time to spend in here! :happy:


----------



## Teresa

steely said:


> Isn't Jeff Goldblum just hot!? Most people think I'm crazy, but since Earth Girls Are Easy he's just gotten better looking every year.



IC that I first found Jeff Goldblum sexy when he took his shirt off in the remake of "The Fly". Mmmmmmmmmmmmm what a body!


----------



## fffff

Several times a week I have sex dreams about House.


----------



## Punkin1024

Sometimes I wish I could just get in my car and travel all over the USA without a care in the world!


----------



## Blackjack

fffff said:


> Several times a week I have sex dreams about House.



Clearly you're meant to have a relationship with Mini.


----------



## JerseyGirl07093

Punkin1024 said:


> Sometimes I wish I could just get in my car and travel all over the USA without a care in the world!



I call shotgun! Let's get this BBW roadtrip underway!


----------



## Crystal

fffff said:


> Several times a week I have sex dreams about House.




That makes two of us. 

He's really into me, he just doesn't quite know it yet. :happy::wubu:


----------



## Punkin1024

JerseyGirl07093 said:


> I call shotgun! Let's get this BBW roadtrip underway!



 You know, a roadtrip with my BBW girlfriends has always been one of my dream trips. I'd love to travel across the states and see how many Dims people I could meet. Also, I'd love to visit all the "food" spots like they mention on the Travel Channel. Who knows, when I win the Lottery, I'll have the means to get a BBW tour group together!


----------



## mossystate

I wanna be the one who kills the trucker with the naked woman mudflaps!!!

I called it!!


----------



## Jane

mossystate said:


> I wanna be the one who kills the trucker with the naked woman mudflaps!!!
> 
> I called it!!




Oh, come now, these are MUCH more disgusting:

http://www.bumpernuts.com/


----------



## Tina

Once my son and I were looking for parking to go in the store. We parked near a truck that had those idiotic mudflaps and also a playboy bunny sticker on the back window in the cab of the truck. I turned to him then pointed to the truck and said, "This is who you do not want to be. See that crap on the truck? That crap on the truck serves two purposes: he advertises that he gets no sex, and at the same time, that crap serves as salt peter for women, thereby perpetuating the cycle." 

Just add those balls and it's truly complete.


----------



## Jane

Tina said:


> Once my son and I were looking for parking to go in the store. We parked near a truck that had those idiotic mudflaps and also a playboy bunny sticker on the back window in the cab of the truck. I turned to him then pointed to the truck and said, "This is who you do not want to be. See that crap on the truck? That crap on the truck serves two purposes: he advertises that he gets no sex, and at the same time, that crap serves as salt peter for women, thereby perpetuating the cycle."
> 
> Just add those balls and it's truly complete.



When you have to buy some, and hang them out for all to see in order to have some....people know it.


----------



## Punkin1024

You ladies make me giggle! How about, on our historical roadtrip, we try to spot FA stickers too! Just like the game we played when I was a kid, spot the out of state license plate. That usually kept us well occupied.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC if I ever win enough money on the lottery I am going to make sure Punkin gets her road trip!


----------



## kayrae

come visit me!


----------



## JerseyGirl07093

Punkin1024 said:


> You know, a roadtrip with my BBW girlfriends has always been one of my dream trips. I'd love to travel across the states and see how many Dims people I could meet. Also, I'd love to visit all the "food" spots like they mention on the Travel Channel. Who knows, when I win the Lottery, I'll have the means to get a BBW tour group together!



You and I think alike! I would love to do this too. We all have to promise that if any of us wins a lottery big enough to make this a reality that we will do it. I'm giving you my promise right now, and you have it in writing. lol :happy:


----------



## bobbleheaddoll

i confess with my daughter off on vacation i am a bit lonely


----------



## Punkin1024

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC if I ever win enough money on the lottery I am going to make sure Punkin gets her road trip!





kayrae said:


> come visit me!



You know we will!



JerseyGirl07093 said:


> You and I think alike! I would love to do this too. We all have to promise that if any of us wins a lottery big enough to make this a reality that we will do it. I'm giving you my promise right now, and you have it in writing. lol :happy:



Ladies, you are on!  Let's all try really hard to pick those winning numbers!


----------



## AshleyEileen

I confess that the other night I had a 2 hour argument with my boyfriend and told him how much I hated him and he was was a horrible person. The bad part is that I was asleep and don't remember a thing.  I don't know where it came from because I love him to pieces, and he's wonderful.


----------



## Tania

I confess that I am restless and lonely and I miss having a relationship.

I confess that male attention is a big ol' double-edged sword; I need the validation, but with that validation comes the potent reminder that sex and admiration fall well short of love and emotional security. 

I confess that someone recently told me that he was afraid of me, which was both touching and depressing as hell. 

I confess that I am too accepting.


----------



## kayrae

Yeah you are.


----------



## Tania

I soak up jerks and losers like a sponge. Trouble is, I actually like some of them.


----------



## olwen

IC that I probably sucked at flirting over the weekend. I gave the guy my number, but after I left the party I thought, well, why the hell didn't he ask me for mine. Yeah, he's not going to call, and I confess, it doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would. Strange that.


----------



## ashmamma84

IC it was so freeing to sunbathe topless on the beach, just like the other women. And the truth is, there were a couple big women doing the same. I kind of nodded and smiled at them as a sign of fat girl solidarity. No one ever snickered or made rude remarks. Just like I've always thought - most everyone is too into themselves and what they're doing to really give a hoot. 

However, there were a couple old men, one in particular, who couldn't stop staring. I don't think it was the size of my girls, but I do have large aereolas so that might have been the reason. He even positioned himself in such an awkward way as to not obstruct his view of my boobs. Not sure if his wife was too pleased.  Perve.


----------



## Jane

ashmamma84 said:


> IC it was so freeing to sunbathe topless on the beach, just like the other women. And the truth is, there were a couple big women doing the same. I kind of nodded and smiled at them as a sign of fat girl solidarity. No one ever snickered or made rude remarks. Just like I've always thought - most everyone is too into themselves and what they're doing to really give a hoot.
> 
> However, there were a couple old men, one in particular, who couldn't stop staring. I don't think it was the size of my girls, but I do have large aereolas so that might have been the reason. He even positioned himself in such an awkward way as to not obstruct his view of my boobs. Not sure if his wife was too pleased.  Perve.



Sometimes you need a long range water gun to squirt them on the zipper.


----------



## Tooz

AshleyEileen said:


> I confess that the other night I had a 2 hour argument with my boyfriend and told him how much I hated him and he was was a horrible person. The bad part is that I was asleep and don't remember a thing.  I don't know where it came from because I love him to pieces, and he's wonderful.



Oh thank God I'm not the only one this happens to.


----------



## exile in thighville

things i've said in my sleep:

"your normalcy offends me"

"way to play me an album i heard five years ago" (my ex to her roommate at the time: "god he's even pretentious in his sleep")

and my favorite

"IF YOU DRINK THE JUICE I SWEAR I'LL FIND OUT AND KICK YOU OUT OF THE GAME"

and the other day kt told me i was reviewing a record in my sleep


----------



## Tau

I confess to having a distinctly unhealthy thing for my workaholic, skinny ass, female boss... I dig chicks but never before chicks like her


----------



## StarWitness

I confess to being a big ol' BBW stereotype. 

So I was in the supermarket, and I saw boxes of brownie bites on sale, 2/$3... and I've been on a serious brownie kick lately, but my mom's doing South Beach and I don't want to undermine her... so I bought them and hid them in my room.


----------



## steely

StarWitness said:


> I confess to being a big ol' BBW stereotype.
> 
> So I was in the supermarket, and I saw boxes of brownie bites on sale, 2/$3... and I've been on a serious brownie kick lately, but my mom's doing South Beach and I don't want to undermine her... so I bought them and hid them in my room.



That was kind. I'm diabetic and my family just puts those boxes of cookies and candy and banana bread out all over the kitchen. It's so hard to resist when it's right in your face. Nice job!!


----------



## AshleyEileen

Tooz said:


> Oh thank God I'm not the only one this happens to.



He's still mad about it!


----------



## AshleyEileen

IC that I'm socially retarded when it comes to going to a bar. I don't know what to do or where to start. I'm almost 23 and I've yet to ever order a drink.


----------



## kayrae

Don't worry... it's not a big deal at all. Are you into sweet mixed drinks? Do you like beer? I recommend the following: mojitos, midori sour, whiskey sour. I usually order margaritas :happy:


----------



## BarbBBW

StarWitness said:


> I confess to being a big ol' BBW stereotype.
> 
> So I was in the supermarket, and I saw boxes of brownie bites on sale, 2/$3... and I've been on a serious brownie kick lately, but my mom's doing South Beach and I don't want to undermine her...* so I bought them and hid them in my room.*



THIS made me laugh out loud!!!! I have done this also hehehehe


----------



## Punkin1024

I keep thinking about picking up Cinnamon rolls on my way to work, but hubby has been taking me in, so I don't mention it to him!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I am really missing my Mom right now....I really need to talk to her..


----------



## AshleyEileen

kayrae said:


> Don't worry... it's not a big deal at all. Are you into sweet mixed drinks? Do you like beer? I recommend the following: mojitos, midori sour, whiskey sour. I usually order margaritas :happy:



I wouldn't know. I've had one drink since I turned 21. It was a berry banana colada. I know I don't like beer though. It reminds me of my rebellious stage when I was 17. I think my problem is that I don't have any friends here to out with. Last night, I was at a random bar watching him play with a friend.


----------



## Cors

AshleyEileen said:


> I wouldn't know. I've had one drink since I turned 21. It was a berry banana colada. I know I don't like beer though. It reminds me of my rebellious stage when I was 17. I think my problem is that I don't have any friends here to out with. Last night, I was at a random bar watching him play with a friend.



I don't like beer either and haven't drank much after I turned 18 (legal age here). Do you like girly cocktails? You can barely taste the alcohol and they're pretty enough. You might want to go with the frozen margaritas (I love strawberry) because you can sip them slooowly.


----------



## olwen

Cors said:


> I don't like beer either and haven't drank much after I turned 18 (legal age here). Do you like girly cocktails? You can barely taste the alcohol and they're pretty enough. You might want to go with the frozen margaritas (I love strawberry) because you can sip them slooowly.



One can sip anything slowly. Girly drinks are kinda deceptive tho because you can't taste the alcohol you'd have a tendency to drink them faster and it's harder to gauge how tipsy you are and before you know it you've had 4 of them and then all of a sudden you are well drunk. Better to start with something strong and basic like a vodka cranberry, or a gin and tonic. 

IC to once having a beer, sake, and a long island iced tea one after the other and then throwing up on the sidewalk. Never did that again. LOL


----------



## Cors

olwen said:


> One can sip anything slowly. Girly drinks are kinda deceptive tho because you can't taste the alcohol you'd have a tendency to drink them faster and it's harder to gauge how tipsy you are and before you know it you've had 4 of them and then all of a sudden you are well drunk. Better to start with something strong and basic like a vodka cranberry, or a gin and tonic.
> 
> IC to once having a beer, sake, and a long island iced tea one after the other and then throwing up on the sidewalk. Never did that again. LOL



That's true Olwen. I personally find the frozen drinks helpful because I get brainfreeze if I drink too fast, and I like how the sweet slush melts on my tongue. I also like how they remain nice and cool even after twenty minutes - I hate warm drinks. 

Eeek, thinking of the mixture makes me retch too.


----------



## Punkin1024

I confess that I'm spending way too much time on Facebook games...but they're so much fun! :doh: :blush: :doh:


----------



## NoraBadora

I confess that I am dying to find someone to make out with. =X


----------



## steely

Punkin1024 said:


> I confess that I'm spending way too much time on Facebook games...but they're so much fun! :doh: :blush: :doh:



*Hangs head in shame.* I know of what you speak.:doh:


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

I have just found Facebook and I also tend to spend to much time play the games as well..Ladies it is so much fun so don't be to hard on yourself!


----------



## IndyGal

I confess that I haven't been on here for months because the guy I was dating for two years thought I'd meet someone (or something) and leave him...all the while he was seeing someone else. 

I also confess that I'm nowhere near as confident as the many women and men on this site about their body image. I'd much rather stay away from people than worry about how I look in someone else's eyes.


----------



## Jane

IndyGal said:


> I confess that I haven't been on here for months because the guy I was dating for two years thought I'd meet someone (or something) and leave him...all the while he was seeing someone else.
> 
> I also confess that I'm nowhere near as confident as the many women and men on this site about their body image. I'd much rather stay away from people than worry about how I look in someone else's eyes.



Lots of times when they are very jealous, YOU have a reason to be.


----------



## Buffie

exile in thighville said:


> things i've said in my sleep:
> 
> "your normalcy offends me"
> 
> "way to play me an album i heard five years ago" (my ex to her roommate at the time: "god he's even pretentious in his sleep")
> 
> and my favorite
> 
> "IF YOU DRINK THE JUICE I SWEAR I'LL FIND OUT AND KICK YOU OUT OF THE GAME"
> 
> and the other day kt told me i was reviewing a record in my sleep




Is this a "guy" thing because Mr. Buffie talks all sorts of nonsense when he's asleep. It sounds perfectly lucid, the way he strings words together and uses nouns and verbs correctly.

But what he actually says ends up about 10 miles away from making any sense at all.

The one that always comes to mind is from several years ago and I've never forgotten... and this is probably the first time I realized he was a sleep talker, he plainly says to me "your toe is a tub of glass."

:huh:

Ladies, do your men do this? Do YOU do this?





I confess ... uhmmmm... there's so many to pick from... 

Uhhhh.... iiiiiii confessssssss that sometimes I _lie_ about my political or religious beliefs to avoid having to explain myself to someone I have good cause to suspect is narrow-minded. 

And I further confess I probably do this on a weekly basis, if not more.

And I confess additionally that it really feels like a compromise of my ethics to be dishonest, but at the same time, I don't owe these people any personal details and it's out of line for them to ask.

Because I have to deal with many of them on a regular basis, I chose to bend my values in order to have a less stressful working environment.

Yeah.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Buffie said:


> Ladies, do your men do this? Do YOU do this?



My ex didn't talk in his sleep...but he sure as hell snored a lot. I was always grateful for the short bit of silence I usually needed to be able to fall into my heavy sleep and not hear him anymore........


----------



## rainyday

Buffie said:


> Uhhhh.... iiiiiii confessssssss that sometimes I _lie_ about my political or religious beliefs to avoid having to explain myself to someone I have good cause to suspect is narrow-minded.
> 
> And I further confess I probably do this on a weekly basis, if not more.
> 
> And I confess additionally that it really feels like a compromise of my ethics to be dishonest, but at the same time, I don't owe these people any personal details and it's out of line for them to ask.
> 
> Because I have to deal with many of them on a regular basis, I chose to bend my values in order to have a less stressful working environment.
> 
> Yeah.



I confess I do the same thing. Well, I don't lie but often I don't bother volunteering my beliefs because of the stereotyped box people immediately shove you into. Either that or they take it as an opening to tell me why I'm wrong or what's wrong with others who share my beliefs :doh: and it's just not worth the hassle. I think (from what I vaguely, vaguely remember from old posts) that you and I are on opposite political sides (not sure about religion), which makes it kind of funny we're doing the same thing to avoid the same narrow-mindedness.

It does make me laugh though when people just assume because they like me that I share their beliefs and will go off on a rant about people who believe exactly as I do. In that case I sometimes enjoy telling them after a bit just watch their face as the light bulb goes on. The shocked, uncomfortable look when they realize they're staring the "enemy" in the face is pretty amusing.


----------



## olwen

Buffie said:


> Is this a "guy" thing because Mr. Buffie talks all sorts of nonsense when he's asleep. It sounds perfectly lucid, the way he strings words together and uses nouns and verbs correctly.
> 
> But what he actually says ends up about 10 miles away from making any sense at all.
> 
> The one that always comes to mind is from several years ago and I've never forgotten... and this is probably the first time I realized he was a sleep talker, he plainly says to me "your toe is a tub of glass."
> 
> :huh:
> 
> Ladies, do your men do this? Do YOU do this?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I confess ... uhmmmm... there's so many to pick from...
> 
> Uhhhh.... iiiiiii confessssssss that sometimes I _lie_ about my political or religious beliefs to avoid having to explain myself to someone I have good cause to suspect is narrow-minded.
> 
> And I further confess I probably do this on a weekly basis, if not more.
> 
> And I confess additionally that it really feels like a compromise of my ethics to be dishonest, but at the same time, I don't owe these people any personal details and it's out of line for them to ask.
> 
> Because I have to deal with many of them on a regular basis, I chose to bend my values in order to have a less stressful working environment.
> 
> Yeah.



Sleep talking...i'm intrigued. Sounds like a fun tread topic for the lounge.


----------



## Jane

rainyday said:


> I confess I do the same thing. Well, I don't lie but often I don't bother volunteering my beliefs because of the stereotyped box people immediately shove you into. Either that or they take it as an opening to tell me why I'm wrong or what's wrong with others who share my beliefs :doh: and it's just not worth the hassle. I think (from what I vaguely, vaguely remember from old posts) that you and I are on opposite political sides (not sure about religion), which makes it kind of funny we're doing the same thing to avoid the same narrow-mindedness.
> 
> It does make me laugh though when people just assume because they like me that I share their beliefs and will go off on a rant about people who believe exactly as I do. In that case I sometimes enjoy telling them after a bit just watch their face as the light bulb goes on. The shocked, uncomfortable look when they realize they're staring the "enemy" in the face is pretty amusing.



Buffie, Rainy, do you want to borrow my "I'm a Liberal, so Bite Me" button? It sure fends off a lot of those conversations you didn't want to have in the first place.

My pseudo-conservative boss was telling me about a waiter at a nearby restaurant. He said I would really like the guy, but he had straightened him out when he was in the restaurant that day. I looked at him and said, "Then he went in the kitchen, where you couldn't see, and got your food." I love that shade of green.


----------



## Tooz

rainyday said:


> often I don't bother volunteering my beliefs because of the stereotyped box people immediately shove you into.



Good Lord, THIS.

I hate to bring anything up because it just seems that someone such as myself (ever-so-slightly right of center on government size, quite left in views on immigrants/foreign cultures present in the US) gets branded in highly innacurate ways. :\


----------



## Crystal

Buffie said:


> Is this a "guy" thing because Mr. Buffie talks all sorts of nonsense when he's asleep. It sounds perfectly lucid, the way he strings words together and uses nouns and verbs correctly.
> 
> But what he actually says ends up about 10 miles away from making any sense at all.
> 
> The one that always comes to mind is from several years ago and I've never forgotten... and this is probably the first time I realized he was a sleep talker, he plainly says to me "your toe is a tub of glass."
> 
> :huh:
> 
> Ladies, do your men do this? Do YOU do this?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I confess ... uhmmmm... there's so many to pick from...
> 
> Uhhhh.... iiiiiii confessssssss that sometimes I _lie_ about my political or religious beliefs to avoid having to explain myself to someone I have good cause to suspect is narrow-minded.
> 
> And I further confess I probably do this on a weekly basis, if not more.
> 
> And I confess additionally that it really feels like a compromise of my ethics to be dishonest, but at the same time, I don't owe these people any personal details and it's out of line for them to ask.
> 
> Because I have to deal with many of them on a regular basis, I chose to bend my values in order to have a less stressful working environment.
> 
> Yeah.




Absolutely. An old friend of mine once, when we were sleeping in bed together, sat up on his elbow and said, "You know...I was in the 3rd grade." And then quietly rolled over and went back to sleep.

Quite plainly, no mumbling. And he said it as if I was a complete idiot. It made me laugh for days later.

Oh and...the same person would sleep on his stomach sometimes. Occasionally, his knees would bend and feet would go up into the air. But, because he was asleep, he obviously couldn't keep them up, so they would keep falling over onto me. When they'd fall over, he'd put them right back up in the air until I placed my hand on them and lowered them back onto the bed.

...we all do strange things when we're sleeping. I think that's pretty much unanimous.


----------



## Tau

Buffie said:


> I
> Ladies, do your men do this? Do YOU do this?



I do this :blush: I talk, I laugh, I hit people, I swear, I cry, I sing. There was a time I woke up eating a packet of biscuits and i don't remember getting up to fetch them. Most of my friends refuse to share a bed with me - I'm always the one banished to the single bed during sleepovers - unless its cold and they want to cuddle


----------



## Tau

LunaLove said:


> IC my boyfriend wet my bed last night :/



On purpose?


----------



## Tau

I confess I'm seriously horny and there isn't anybody even vaguely shaggable on the horizon


----------



## NoraBadora

I confess I've been browsing craigslist ads looking for dates. >.>


----------



## rainyday

Jane said:


> Buffie, Rainy, do you want to borrow my "I'm a Liberal, so Bite Me" button? It sure fends off a lot of those conversations you didn't want to have in the first place.



Everyone here is liberal so they'd just wonder why I was being hostile about something so normal lol. I guess I need an "I'm part conservative/part libertarian so bite me!" button. I think you and I are both ducks out of water in each of our geographic locations.


----------



## Tooz

rainyday said:


> Everyone here is liberal so they'd just wonder why I was being hostile about something so normal lol. I guess I need an "I'm part conservative/part libertarian so bite me!" button. I think you and I are both ducks out of water in each of our geographic locations.



The thing I find the most is that people simply cannot respect the views of others. I go somewhat frequently to gatherings of otherwise very open-minded people (people I feel comfortable hiking my dress up in front of to show my tattoo!) who shut down like a stone tower when it comes to these kinds of things. :\


----------



## rainyday

Tooz said:


> The thing I find the most is that people simply cannot respect the views of others. I go somewhat frequently to gatherings of otherwise very open-minded people (people I feel comfortable hiking my dress up in front of to show my tattoo!) who shut down like a stone tower when it comes to these kinds of things. :\



Yup. Yup. Yup. Can't say more without Hyde Park-ing.


----------



## Cors

Buffie said:


> *snip*
> 
> Ladies, do your men do this? Do YOU do this?



My partner does! Sometimes he kicks and fight me for the blanket too, ugh. He mostly mumbles in Danish (his first language), but once in a while I make out phrases like "FIVE MORE FUCKING MINUTES" or "I AM AWAKE NOW ZZZZZZZ".


----------



## Jane

rainyday said:


> Everyone here is liberal so they'd just wonder why I was being hostile about something so normal lol. I guess I need an "I'm part conservative/part libertarian so bite me!" button. I think you and I are both ducks out of water in each of our geographic locations.



I wasn't liberal enough for Oregon.

As I tell my friends here, when I say I'm a liberal, it's with the assumed "for Oklahoma."


----------



## Jane

CrystalUT11 said:


> Absolutely. An old friend of mine once, when we were sleeping in bed together, sat up on his elbow and said, "You know...I was in the 3rd grade." And then quietly rolled over and went back to sleep.
> 
> Quite plainly, no mumbling. And he said it as if I was a complete idiot. It made me laugh for days later.
> 
> Oh and...the same person would sleep on his stomach sometimes. Occasionally, his knees would bend and feet would go up into the air. But, because he was asleep, he obviously couldn't keep them up, so they would keep falling over onto me. When they'd fall over, he'd put them right back up in the air until I placed my hand on them and lowered them back onto the bed.
> 
> ...we all do strange things when we're sleeping. I think that's pretty much unanimous.



I woke up in the middle of the night last night, freezing. I looked all around for my comforter...not on the left side of the bed, not on the right, not off the end. I looked twice in each place, turned around, and evidently I had made it into a pillow sometime in the night. Whole comforter scrunched up under my head. Sheesh.


----------



## Buffie

rainyday said:


> I confess I do the same thing. Well, I don't lie but often I don't bother volunteering my beliefs because of the stereotyped box people immediately shove you into. Either that or they take it as an opening to tell me why I'm wrong or what's wrong with others who share my beliefs :doh: and it's just not worth the hassle. I think (from what I vaguely, vaguely remember from old posts) that you and I are on opposite political sides (not sure about religion), which makes it kind of funny we're doing the same thing to avoid the same narrow-mindedness.
> 
> It does make me laugh though when people just assume because they like me that I share their beliefs and will go off on a rant about people who believe exactly as I do. In that case I sometimes enjoy telling them after a bit just watch their face as the light bulb goes on. The shocked, uncomfortable look when they realize they're staring the "enemy" in the face is pretty amusing.



I out-right lie if I'm really cornered, but I do try to avoid first. I think we actually lean the same-way-ish? I don't remember either, my apologies.

Issues are more my thing. I'm too confused to have a real party affiliation. Literally all over the place...

Totally know what you mean about people assuming you think the same. This girl who is a total-self-fat-hater always talks to me as if I hate myself as much as she hates herself. I used to ignore this from her, but now I constantly have to correct her. SO annoying.






olwen said:


> Sleep talking...i'm intrigued. Sounds like a fun tread topic for the lounge.



It does it does. Goooo for it. I will totally share some of Mr. Buffie's sleep-babble nuggets. There have been more than a few.






Jane said:


> Buffie, Rainy, do you want to borrow my "I'm a Liberal, so Bite Me" button? It sure fends off a lot of those conversations you didn't want to have in the first place.
> 
> My pseudo-conservative boss was telling me about a waiter at a nearby restaurant. He said I would really like the guy, but he had straightened him out when he was in the restaurant that day. I looked at him and said, "Then he went in the kitchen, where you couldn't see, and got your food." I love that shade of green.



Fun button! Do you ever look at the buttons here? One Horse Shy

I really like the fortune cookie tees. And the owls... Who? WHOM!


----------



## Tania

I confess that I sleep-talk. I also confess that almost everybody I've ever shared a bed with did/does, too. My personal favorite was, "I'm dreaming that you and I are lying in bed talking about Burt Reynolds' mustache."

I confess that the 1994 midterm elections scarred me for life.

I confess that I have a huge necrophilic crush on James Madison. 

I confess that I really like the Tony DeSare cover of "Bizarre Love Triangle."


----------



## Punkin1024

My hubby is a sleep talker too! The conversations I remember most are usually him giving directions about moving things. It is funny! I have noticed that he only does this when he is very anxious or feeling pressure about something. He snores too, but so do I! He's told me he has heard me crying and singing in my sleep. Again, usually when I'm stressed out about something.


----------



## olwen

Buffie said:


> . . . . snipped
> 
> It does it does. Goooo for it. I will totally share some of Mr. Buffie's sleep-babble nuggets. There have been more than a few.
> 
> Fun button! Do you ever look at the buttons here? One Horse Shy
> 
> I really like the fortune cookie tees. And the owls... Who? WHOM!



started a sleep talking thread in the lounge. 

IC I like that site, especially the gunsliger graphic and I really like that that shirt goes up to a size 32.


----------



## Tania

I confess that I have been listening to this song constantly for the last two hours on iTunes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmH3_TbfHaA


----------



## Keb

IC that I know I need to tell the guy I've been dating that I can't see him anymore because of the smoking, but I'm terrified that it'll be another 29 years before I get anymore kisses and cuddles.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Keb said:


> IC that I know I need to tell the guy I've been dating that I can't see him anymore because of the smoking, but I'm terrified that it'll be another 29 years before I get anymore kisses and cuddles.




Have you mentioned how much it bothers you?


----------



## Keb

Yeah, he knew, and when I said it was a dealbreaker for me after the first date, he offered not to smoke around me. He didn't keep his word, and every time he'd apologize...but it's pretty clear he values smoking above being with me.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Keb said:


> Yeah, he knew, and when I said it was a dealbreaker for me after the first date, he offered not to smoke around me. He didn't keep his word, and every time he'd apologize...but it's pretty clear he values smoking above being with me.



Oh yeah....I can see your point there. If he can't keep his word about something that important to you, then he will easily break it about other things, too.


----------



## olwen

Keb said:


> Yeah, he knew, and when I said it was a dealbreaker for me after the first date, he offered not to smoke around me. He didn't keep his word, and every time he'd apologize...but it's pretty clear he values smoking above being with me.



Keb that sucks. He shouldn't be smoking around you if you don't like it. At the same time, it is insanely difficult to quit. It's so not your responsibility, but have you offered to help him quit?


----------



## Keb

I don't think he wants to, really. And anyways, there are other signs the relationship isn't going where I wanted it to. I'm just very sad about it. And scared that it'll be a very long time before I have someone else.


----------



## olwen

Keb said:


> I don't think he wants to, really. And anyways, there are other signs the relationship isn't going where I wanted it to. I'm just very sad about it. And scared that it'll be a very long time before I have someone else.



It's totally not worth it to be miserable all the time. I'd rather be alone than be with someone who pisses me off all the time. Keb there are other guys out there.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

olwen said:


> It's totally not worth it to be miserable all the time. I'd rather be alone than be with someone who pisses me off all the time. Keb there are other guys out there.



This is the truth..........all of it. It does seem best to move on if he cannot respect your feelings and thinks telling you what you want to hear is enough...it goes beyond the smoking. 

Think of it this way....what if you missed the kind of guy that you really want all because you stayed with this one? How would that make you feel?


----------



## Keb

Yeah, I know what you mean, GEF. It's just hard to deal with.


----------



## kayrae

IC this smoking thing reminds me of Sex and the City... Aidan didn't want to date Carrie because she was a smoker...


----------



## Punkin1024

IC it's that time of the month and I am so wanting chocolate! I finally sweet talked my hubby into making some brownies - they sure are good. I'm having a hard time keeping from eating too many of them!


----------



## Jane

I watched the Sex in the City movie tonight for the first time.

I finally figured out what I am: An Emotional Cutter


----------



## Tania

I confess that I post a lot of meaningless shit to the BBW Confessions thread.

I also confess that I feel really, really emotionally fragile right now.


----------



## b0nnie

IC that when my son is with me HE is the boss of my fashion choices. He tells me when he thinks my shirts are too low cut, or when he thinks that my skirt is too short, or even that I don't match:doh:, and oh, yeah...did I mention that he's only seven and a half.


----------



## lemonadebrigade

I confess that I watched The Lion King last night and cried my eyes out.


----------



## Crystal

IC that yesterday, I was shopping at the Outlet Malls with my aunt and 12 year old cousin.

We were in Rue 21 and she was finding some cute outfits for school. We were standing in the fitting room hall (we weren't allowed in the actual fitting room), and we saw this 16 year old girl come out and tell her mom that the shirt made her look fat. She was probably a size 12, which in that store, is pretty large.

I looked at her and said, "Sweetheart. I think that shirt makes you look absolutely fabulous. It compliments the highlights in your hair and it makes your bust look amazing."

She bought the shirt.


----------



## Teleute

Crystal, that's awesome :happy:


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I am having more senior moments lately..


----------



## olwen

IC that Cary Grant is my new favorite actor of all time.


----------



## steely

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC I am having more senior moments lately..



I'd like to confess this, too. I'm going to be 41, I thought it would hold off a little longer.


----------



## Punkin1024

Aww, go ahead Steely, saying the phrase "I'm having a Senior moment" is so liberating!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Maybe a little to liberating....lol 

IC I ate a whopper tonight with extra everything and it was good!!


----------



## Tania

I confess that I suspect I am somebody's secret/fish on the line. I'm devastated.


----------



## rainyday

Heh, Bubblebutt. I confess that I now want a Whopper.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

IC I think I might be ready to fall in love again.


----------



## Tooz

OneWickedAngel said:


> IC I think I might be ready to fall in love again.



With me, right?! :smitten:


----------



## steely

I confess I trusted blindly, I should know better.:doh:


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Tooz said:


> With me, right?! :smitten:



LOL! But of course!:wubu:


----------



## Keb

IC that those new Angus burgers at McDonald's are actually pretty yummy. (Mushroom and swiss...mmmm!)


----------



## KaliCurves

IC I really only sleep well when he is here. I hate these long nites with little sleep.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

rainyday said:


> Heh, Bubblebutt. I confess that I now want a Whopper.



Sorry Rainy,I haven't had one in months...It was gooooooddd...


----------



## Punkin1024

IC I'm very sleepy, but I just had to pop in here for a bit to see what my BBW friends where up to!  :happy:


----------



## butch

Sounds like you could use some hugs, (((((((((((Tania))))))))))))). Hope you're feeling better soon.


----------



## Tracyarts

I confess that I am going to blow off at least half of the artsy-craftsy, sewing, and household organizational projects I had planned to work on while Dear Husband is out of town; and probably spend my time being absolutely lazy and unproductive instead.

Tracy


----------



## Sweet Tooth

I have someone in my life that has appointed herself the health guru for everyone in her little circle of influence.

I'm really getting sick of it. I can name twenty serious life issues she needs to focus on in her own life, but she doesn't want to deal with those things.

She's not my savior or my rescuer. I'm tired of this person thinking she knows why I don't want to suddenly go for a walk tonight [uh, I'm exhausted from the stronger-than-multiple-Benadryl drugs I'm on for serious hives and I have to get ready to go on a work retreat in the morning], and why I get annoyed at her for being all blowing off her "need" to get me moving more [her words, not mine]. She doesn't get that it's less about the exercise and more about her.

And, really, you can't say anything without it being misunderstood or seen as deflecting or whatever. Ugh.


----------



## msbard90

i confess that i want a tattoo, even though I am the one always protesting others getting theirs... uh oh


----------



## Keb

IC I'm spending entirely too much time reading the FA forum.


----------



## Weeze

I confess that since we do not have a private bbw forum, i'm going to start bitching about feminine products and not give a shit who sees it.

THEY NEED TO MAKE PADS LONGER. 
The length of my underside IS BIGGER THAN THAT.
STOP LETTING MY PANTIES GET RUINED, ALWAYS.
am I the only one that doesn't want to move them around so I can put 2 together, because then they go up TOO far on either side and it's awkward.

It's just bad. Bad. Bad.


Also. I met a guy on okcupid and I have to be honest, I am freaked to hell about the fact that I DON'T KNOW HE LIKES FAT GIRLS. I feel like I shouldn't worry about that, but at the same time.... even FA's have a "hard time" actually going out with fat girls, so what in HELL does that say for going out with someone who might not be? He wants to get dinner (found me on okcupid) and I'm nervous as all hell. 
If guys who like SPECIFICALLY fat girls have a struggle... what's a guy who doesn't going to do?


----------



## Crystal

krismiss said:


> I confess that since we do not have a private bbw forum, i'm going to start bitching about feminine products and not give a shit who sees it.
> 
> THEY NEED TO MAKE PADS LONGER.
> The length of my underside IS BIGGER THAN THAT.
> STOP LETTING MY PANTIES GET RUINED, ALWAYS.
> am I the only one that doesn't want to move them around so I can put 2 together, because then they go up TOO far on either side and it's awkward.
> 
> It's just bad. Bad. Bad.



Gah, I used to have such problems with this. I now buy "Extra Long" pads from Kotex. They work wonders and they are definitely long enough in both the front and back. 

I use these. They're medium coverage, but they also have Extra Long in super coverage.
http://www.kotex.com/na/UltraThinRegular.aspx



krismiss said:


> Also. I met a guy on okcupid and I have to be honest, I am freaked to hell about the fact that I DON'T KNOW HE LIKES FAT GIRLS. I feel like I shouldn't worry about that, but at the same time.... even FA's have a "hard time" actually going out with fat girls, so what in HELL does that say for going out with someone who might not be? He wants to get dinner (found me on okcupid) and I'm nervous as all hell.
> If guys who like SPECIFICALLY fat girls have a struggle... what's a guy who doesn't going to do?



I know exactly what you mean. I always think, "Should I mention something about being fat? Should I warn him? I probably should, but then...why? Should it matter that I'm fat, it doesn't define who I am." It's such a back and forth with me. I usually end up hinting around at it, hoping he'll get the hint. I also have a couple full body shot pics on Okcupid so that they can see for themselves. And if that isn't enough, in my profile, I mention being a BBW. I want to make damn sure that if they hate fat girls, they won't contact me.

Go have dinner, darling! I know you must be nervous, and I'm not going to be silly and tell you not to be. But, I WILL say that if he doesn't like fat girls, it'll be pretty clear during your date and then you can chalk it up to practice for when you DO find the right guy.


----------



## katorade

krismiss said:


> I confess that since we do not have a private bbw forum, i'm going to start bitching about feminine products and not give a shit who sees it.
> 
> THEY NEED TO MAKE PADS LONGER.
> The length of my underside IS BIGGER THAN THAT.
> STOP LETTING MY PANTIES GET RUINED, ALWAYS.
> am I the only one that doesn't want to move them around so I can put 2 together, because then they go up TOO far on either side and it's awkward.
> 
> It's just bad. Bad. Bad.



Yes! Always Infinity Overnights are your friend.


----------



## Tracyarts

" am I the only one that doesn't want to move them around so I can put 2 together, because then they go up TOO far on either side and it's awkward. "

No, you're not the only one by far. 

Not every day can be a tampon day, and when I need a pad instead I make due with the overnights. I used to get these super thin but super absorbant tiny little mini pads (folded up in their wrapper they weren't much larger than a condom wrapper) and just kind of patchwork about four or five of them to make the perfect size/shape pad. But that got really expensive and I can't find them anymore.

Tracy


----------



## MisticalMisty

Always makes pads for sizes 14 +. I can normally only find them at Wal-greens..but I find them and they work well for me.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I luvs....all the women of this board........so much...........:wubu:

I decided to splurge and treat everyone to maxi pads


----------



## thatgirl08

I have to second the suggestion for Always Infinity.. I can't believe how well they worked. More expensive, but worth it, IMO.


----------



## mossystate

Always also has great panty liners. The best ones were a store brand...something like Western Family. My hoo nodded and gave me the thumbs-up over those. I am not a fan of hair meeting sticky pad edges. Just sayin.


----------



## thatgirl08

mossystate said:


> Always also has great panty liners. The best ones were a store brand...something like Western Family. My hoo nodded and gave me the thumbs-up over those. I am not a fan of hair meeting sticky pad edges. Just sayin.



I use Always panty liners as well.. the 14+ ones generally although the normal ones can be fine too. Love them.


----------



## olwen

I also use always 14+ pantyliners and in a pinch their ultra thin overnights are good. There's also reusable Party in my Pants pads. Save money, save the enviroment. They have a queen size pad that I helped test so I know they got the design right. I use it for bedtime since I don't like to sleep in a tampon. This thing hardly ever leaks.


----------



## Jane

I've gone through menopause, ha ha ha ha ha. 

(You have to read it in a sing-song for it work.)


----------



## rainyday

olwen said:


> I also use always 14+ pantyliners and in a pinch their ultra thin overnights are good. There's also reusable Party in my Pants pads. Save money, save the enviroment.



What a great name! That building the site shows they're housed in is fantastic.


----------



## thatgirl08

olwen said:


> I also use always 14+ pantyliners and in a pinch their ultra thin overnights are good. There's also reusable Party in my Pants pads. Save money, save the enviroment. They have a queen size pad that I helped test so I know they got the design right. I use it for bedtime since I don't like to sleep in a tampon. This thing hardly ever leaks.



oooh I'm super interested in these reusable pads. Hm.


----------



## Punkin1024

I use Always Ultra Thin Overnights. The work pretty well, once you figure out placing them where they're most needed. 

IC I'm really looking forward to the weekend!


----------



## butch

Has anyone used the cup thingies for their period? A friend pointed them out to me in the drugstore (she learned about them in a women's studies class), and they're like little plastic cups you slide inside, just like a tampon. I would think they'd be messy when you take them out, but in general I want to know how they work.


----------



## Weeze

butch said:


> Has anyone used the cup thingies for their period? A friend pointed them out to me in the drugstore (she learned about them in a women's studies class), and they're like little plastic cups you slide inside, just like a tampon. I would think they'd be messy when you take them out, but in general I want to know how they work.



My sister just bought one because apparently _all the girls in drum corps do it_ 
that's why she started eating hummus too. hah. at least she's not doing drugs/having sex out of peer pressure.... just becoming more open. haha.

but yeah... she doesn't even use tampons, so I don't know how she'll handle a diva cup... but i'll let yall know  I know I want one.


----------



## butch

krismiss said:


> My sister just bought one because apparently _all the girls in drum corps do it_
> that's why she started eating hummus too. hah. at least she's not doing drugs/having sex out of peer pressure.... just becoming more open. haha.
> 
> but yeah... she doesn't even use tampons, so I don't know how she'll handle a diva cup... but i'll let yall know  I know I want one.



Is hummus the new gateway drug?


----------



## msbard90

thatgirl08 said:


> I have to second the suggestion for Always Infinity.. I can't believe how well they worked. More expensive, but worth it, IMO.



always infinity are those ones that are the really thin absorbent ones with that cool "absorbent technologay" or whatever... am I right?  i love those


----------



## msbard90

that would be "technology" not "technologay" lmao silly me...


----------



## Crystal

butch said:


> Is hummus the new gateway drug?



Gah, it must be! 

I never thought I'd try hummus until two years ago, when I was a freshman at UT, and tried it in the homemade section of the oncampus grocery store.

Ever since, I've LOVED it. And the next thing I know, I'm hanging out with a bunch of pot-smoking, incense burning, yet amazing hippies in Asheville, NC.


----------



## thatgirl08

msbard90 said:


> always infinity are those ones that are the really thin absorbent ones with that cool "absorbent technologay" or whatever... am I right?  i love those



Yep those are the ones! They come in a box instead of a bag too.. greenish/blueish colored box.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

I have used those cups. They take some practice when it comes to putting them in but for some people they work quite well. Can be a little messy when removing, especially if it was a heavy day. I pretty much only use tampons but will wear the cup if I want to have sex during my period.



butch said:


> Has anyone used the cup thingies for their period? A friend pointed them out to me in the drugstore (she learned about them in a women's studies class), and they're like little plastic cups you slide inside, just like a tampon. I would think they'd be messy when you take them out, but in general I want to know how they work.


----------



## thatgirl08

fatgirlflyin said:


> I have used those cups. They take some practice when it comes to putting them in but for some people they work quite well. Can be a little messy when removing, especially if it was a heavy day. I pretty much only use tampons but will wear the cup if I want to have sex during my period.



I was under the impression you're not supposed to wear those during sex?


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Yeah, you may be right. But I do. 





thatgirl08 said:


> I was under the impression you're not supposed to wear those during sex?


----------



## thatgirl08

fatgirlflyin said:


> Yeah, you may be right. But I do.



Hey if it works.


----------



## olwen

butch said:


> Has anyone used the cup thingies for their period? A friend pointed them out to me in the drugstore (she learned about them in a women's studies class), and they're like little plastic cups you slide inside, just like a tampon. I would think they'd be messy when you take them out, but in general I want to know how they work.



There's actually a thread on the health board about Tampons where we all ended up just talking about the different things we use, and Lilly gave us all her assessment of the cup...I forget the brand name.."Instead" maybe...I had a coworker who used them and loved them. I want to try the cup, but I'm seriously worried about it not staying in place....I'll stick to tampons and reusable pads for now.


----------



## Cors

olwen said:


> There's actually a thread on the health board about Tampons where we all ended up just talking about the different things we use, and Lilly gave us all her assessment of the cup...I forget the brand name.."Instead" maybe...I had a coworker who used them and loved them. I want to try the cup, but I'm seriously worried about it not staying in place....I'll stick to tampons and reusable pads for now.



The discussion starts here. You can also find more information on the Menstrual Cups LJ. 

I like the idea but I have vaginismus and a tilted cervix, so those evil cups don't work for me.


----------



## thatgirl08

Sometimes I'm happy in my skin, but I just spent like a half hour on Suicide Girls wishing that I was that beautiful. They have perfect clear skin with all this gorgeous art on it and cute little hip bones. Sigh. Part of me wishes I was one of those girls.


----------



## katorade

thatgirl08 said:


> Sometimes I'm happy in my skin, but I just spent like a half hour on Suicide Girls wishing that I was that beautiful. They have perfect clear skin with all this gorgeous art on it and cute little hip bones. Sigh. Part of me wishes I was one of those girls.




Photoshop, darling. Photoshop.


----------



## thatgirl08

katorade said:


> Photoshop, darling. Photoshop.



I know :/ but still!


----------



## olwen

thatgirl08 said:


> Sometimes I'm happy in my skin, but I just spent like a half hour on Suicide Girls wishing that I was that beautiful. They have perfect clear skin with all this gorgeous art on it and cute little hip bones. Sigh. Part of me wishes I was one of those girls.



I actually never understood what a Suicide Girl is....can you explain?


----------



## Punkin1024

Just the name Suicide Girls is a big turn off to me - not a very positive statement IMO. 

I confess I'm all happy because it is the weekend. Now, if I could just figure out a new hairstyle, I'll feel all purty and stuff! "giggle"


----------



## Jane

thatgirl08 said:


> I know :/ but still!



No, seriously, Photoshop. I have friends who can make Photoshop jump through hoops. Or they can take a picture of me, make me 100 lbs. skinnier, jumping through a hoop.


----------



## msbard90

thatgirl08 said:


> Yep those are the ones! They come in a box instead of a bag too.. greenish/blueish colored box.



yeah i love those... feels like i'm not wearing a pad, but i am...


----------



## thatgirl08

olwen said:


> I actually never understood what a Suicide Girl is....can you explain?



It's basically pin-up style porn (kinda like the paysite girls here) but the girls are all "alternative" so dyed hair, piercings, tattoos, etc.



Jane said:


> No, seriously, Photoshop. I have friends who can make Photoshop jump through hoops. Or they can take a picture of me, make me 100 lbs. skinnier, jumping through a hoop.



Hahaha, yeah. I can tell they're definitely photoshopped but I still feel a twinge jealous.



msbard90 said:


> yeah i love those... feels like i'm not wearing a pad, but i am...



yes! I love them too.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I am addicted to Farkle now...Going to be hard to break this habit..LOL


----------



## Fascinita

IC that I don't like callous, careless, self-serving, self-aggrandizing, stupid people.

But most of all I hate self-servingness, meanness, and brutality.

IC, too, that those are the qualities I don't like in myself when they rear their ugly heads.

/rant


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC I am addicted to Farkle now...Going to be hard to break this habit..LOL




IC that people keep sending me farkle chips on FB....and I have never played it :blink:

Is it any good? what is it?


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Cors said:


> I like the idea but I have vaginismus and a tilted cervix, so those evil cups don't work for me.



I have a tilted cervix, too.....now you make me glad I never tried one :blink:



Punkin1024 said:


> Just the name Suicide Girls is a big turn off to me - not a very positive statement IMO.
> 
> I confess I'm all happy because it is the weekend. Now, if I could just figure out a new hairstyle, I'll feel all purty and stuff! "giggle"



I recently got my haircut again....but left the length. I like having more hair......



Fascinita said:


> IC that I don't like callous, careless, self-serving, self-aggrandizing, stupid people.
> 
> But most of all I hate self-servingness, meanness, and brutality.
> 
> IC, too, that those are the qualities I don't like in myself when they rear their ugly heads.
> 
> /rant



Mean people suck........nice people swallow


----------



## olwen

thatgirl08 said:


> It's basically pin-up style porn (kinda like the paysite girls here) but the girls are all "alternative" so dyed hair, piercings, tattoos, etc....



Yeah, but I never understood where the name came from. I just looked at the site and it made a little more sense. Emo and goth have never been synonymous in my mind with suicide and I was goth for years.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> IC that people keep sending me farkle chips on FB....and I have never played it :blink:
> 
> Is it any good? what is it?



It's like Yahtzee and it's a lot of fun..You have to make sure you get points and do not get farkle...Play it once to see if you like it or not..


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

I just found out in Farkle if someone send your friend chips you can't send them any more..No fair!


----------



## Tracii

IC went shopping and found lots of cute stuff but didn't buy any.


----------



## Kitzy

I confess I have been a lurker for a while, and honestly nervous to jump in and post! I think that it is because I feel if you aren't accepted here, by your peers, by those who understand your struggles, and need to feel normal, then what else is left? In any other forum I can use the they just don't like the big girls angle. It is a crutch, to hide any other inadiquacy, and once it is gone, will I stumble? 

I also confess I like nacho cheese on my oreos. *shrug*


----------



## Weeze

CrystalUT11 said:


> , I'm hanging out with a bunch of pot-smoking, incense burning, yet amazing hippies in Asheville, NC.



I have a feeling I know who you're talking about


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

krismiss said:


> I have a feeling I know who you're talking about




Now I'm ticked off that I live there and she's not sharing  :doh:


----------



## Ernie

The only confessing i do is with a priest. PAAA-ZIIING!:doh:


----------



## Blackjack

Ernie said:


> The only confessing i do is with a priest. PAAA-ZIIING!:doh:



I think you missed the point of this thread.


----------



## Ernie

Oh, oops. Just ignore my mediocre joke b4.


----------



## Jane

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC I am addicted to Farkle now...Going to be hard to break this habit..LOL



Me, too, and I curse the name of the friend who turned me on to it.

In fact, I did it to his face on Friday, and he laughed at me.


----------



## Jane

BubbleButtBabe said:


> I just found out in Farkle if someone send your friend chips you can't send them any more..No fair!



You can send to them the next day. You just have to be the first of the day (which sometimes starts in the evening).


----------



## Jane

Fascinita said:


> IC that I don't like callous, careless, self-serving, self-aggrandizing, stupid people.
> 
> But most of all I hate self-servingness, meanness, and brutality.
> 
> IC, too, that those are the qualities I don't like in myself when they rear their ugly heads.
> 
> /rant



That's always what pisses me off the most...tendencies I fight to not give into. How dare others get by with it and their guilt not bug them??!?!?!?!?


----------



## luscious_lulu

Kitzy said:


> I confess I have been a lurker for a while, and honestly nervous to jump in and post! I think that it is because I feel if you aren't accepted here, by your peers, by those who understand your struggles, and need to feel normal, then what else is left? In any other forum I can use the they just don't like the big girls angle. It is a crutch, to hide any other inadiquacy, and once it is gone, will I stumble?
> 
> I also confess I like nacho cheese on my oreos. *shrug*



Just start in one or two threads and post. Eventually, you'll get known and people will respond. :wubu:


----------



## msbard90

olwen said:


> Yeah, but I never understood where the name came from. I just looked at the site and it made a little more sense. Emo and goth have never been synonymous in my mind with suicide and I was goth for years.



... however the general public likes to generalize such things :/


----------



## thatgirl08

olwen said:


> Yeah, but I never understood where the name came from. I just looked at the site and it made a little more sense. Emo and goth have never been synonymous in my mind with suicide and I was goth for years.



Yeah, I think the name kind of sucks but love the site.


----------



## Tina

I would like to post a reminder of what this forum is about. To any new people who might be confused, take a look at the top of this section and read this post -- it's a MUST READ for a reason.

The BBW forum is protected. You'll see what that means when you read the thread. Go do it now, before posting again, please.


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that I'm tired and I really should be in bed. I've got the Sunday night, tomorrow's Monday blues!

BTW - My friends who taught us about Farkle, originally called it "greedy dice". It is fun, but I get a bigger kick out of play "PetDazzle" in the Poke Pets forum on Facebook. I'm addicted to it!


----------



## Tina

"Poke Pets"?? That somehow sounds very wrong.


----------



## steely

IC Farkle is my new "thing". Between my farms and Farkle, I can't poke pets. I would be in front of the computer 24 hours a day instead of 23.LOL 
I think I need an intervention.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC that Steely and I need to be at the same intervention! I am hooked on way to much stuff on FB..LOL


----------



## mossystate

At the moment, I am physically feeling every one of my 47 years.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

IC I would be really happy right now if Michigan J. Frog were to croak. Just ask that dang blasted Steely!


----------



## comaseason

IC I did precious little that was productive today. And I desperately want to call in sick to work tomorrow.


----------



## msbard90

ic that i cleaned my house even though my sisters destroyed it. I shouldn't have. I should have been enraged and just left to my boyfriend's house. 
ic that cleaning with rage helped deal with it. Even if it mean 2 coffee cups accidentally broke ... not only that, but i love that the humidity is making my joints swell like all hell and every bit of angry cleaning hurt really really bad... much more than i deserve.
ic that this was the first thing i did after finishing cleaning... besides taking plenty of before and after pics of the raunchy mess lol

gotta love dims


----------



## Kitzy

luscious_lulu said:


> Just start in one or two threads and post. Eventually, you'll get known and people will respond. :wubu:



Thanks! I will definately try that!


----------



## mergirl

IC-That i identify more as a bbw than as an fa and i'm not even sure i identify with the bb bit. The W part is a stronger part of my identity than my Fa side will ever be. Just thought i would put that out there just incase there is ever a bbw/fa war and i have to pick a side to fight for! I would be on the bbw side.  

N.B I believe we would win too because we are bigger and we have harpies and gorgons fighting for us!!!


----------



## steely

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC that Steely and I need to be at the same intervention! I am hooked on way to much stuff on FB..LOL



One day at a time, BBB , one day at a time.


----------



## steely

OneWickedAngel said:


> IC I would be really happy right now if Michigan J. Frog were to croak. Just ask that dang blasted Steely!



Oooops, that is a standard running joke in my family. We sing it all the time. Sorry you got caught in the middle.


----------



## butch

mergirl said:


> IC-That i identify more as a bbw than as an fa and i'm not even sure i identify with the bb bit. The W part is a stronger part of my identity than my Fa side will ever be. Just thought i would put that out there just incase there is ever a bbw/fa war and i have to pick a side to fight for! I would be on the bbw side.
> 
> N.B I believe we would win too because we are bigger and we have harpies and gorgons fighting for us!!!



I like this post, mer. I wonder, though, am I a harpie or a gorgon?


----------



## mergirl

butch said:


> I like this post, mer. I wonder, though, am I a harpie or a gorgon?


I think you are more She-bear than She-monster. Cute and cuddly but in the apocolyptic fa/fat war you could boof people with your paws! 
Lmao..erm i think maby your avitar is affecting me! lol.. i am reverse anthropomorphising you!!!


----------



## OneWickedAngel

an...an-an...an-thro... an-thro-po-po... Oh, po-get it! 

Dearest Mer, 

Apologies , verbiage content of syllabic denominations greater than that of a singular quantity risks complete comprehension cancellation. Indications of Butchy transfigurations to/from Ursa not withstanding, refraining from such references are always appreciative by alliterative illiterates such as myself. 

Signed,
Rectally Impacted Cranium  (hee-hee!)


----------



## mergirl

OneWickedAngel said:


> an...an-an...an-thro... an-thro-po-po... Oh, po-get it!
> 
> Dearest Mer,
> 
> Apologies , verbiage content of syllabic denominations greater than that of a singular quantity risks complete comprehension cancellation. Indications of Butchy transfigurations to/from Ursa not withstanding, refraining from such references are always appreciative by alliterative illiterates such as myself.
> 
> Signed,
> Rectally Impacted Cranium  (hee-hee!)


See the thing is, what i was trying to say was "jobby" but i'm so bad at spelling it came out as anthropomorphism. lmao.
See the thing is i wasnt even reverse anthrophomorphising now i think of it. 
haha..
och i'm full of pish!


----------



## EllorionsDarlingAngel

I confess that this is my first time coming on this thread...:doh: I will have to come back again..lol..


----------



## balletguy

i confess that I really like this thread


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

EllorionsDarlingAngel said:


> I confess that this is my first time coming on this thread...:doh: I will have to come back again..lol..





balletguy said:


> i confess that I really like this thread




Welcome to the thread.....free maxi pads for all!


----------



## OneWickedAngel

EllorionsDarlingAngel said:


> I confess that this is my first time coming on this thread...:doh: I will have to come back again..lol..



*Nooooo, no Freudian slip WHAT-SO-EVAH!*



*MUAAAHAHAHAHAHA!*


----------



## EllorionsDarlingAngel

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Welcome to the thread.....free maxi pads for all!


 


OneWickedAngel said:


> *Nooooo, no Freudian slip WHAT-SO-EVAH!*
> 
> 
> 
> *MUAAAHAHAHAHAHA!*


 

LOL you two are so funny!

I confess I'm in some serious pain..my chest hurts all the way down to my ribs...this sucks! trying to keep my mind off the pain..need sexy men pics!


----------



## Smushygirl

IC I love Mergirl. :blush:


----------



## mossystate

Smushygirl said:


> IC I love Mergirl. :blush:



I confess that I really ...really...disliked mergirl when she first started posting. 

That's the way it sometimes is with me. I have to feel a person out, and the best of them always rise to the surface...and I scoop them up and pinch their widdle cheeks, and adore them in a huge way.


----------



## msbard90

ic that i worked harder than any of those dumbasses today. and now my feet absolutely ache. Massage, please, anyone?


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that I probably should be in an intervention for Facebook too! Oh, dear!:doh:


----------



## mergirl

Smushygirl said:


> IC I love Mergirl. :blush:


IC I love you right back!


----------



## mergirl

mossystate said:


> I confess that I really ...really...disliked mergirl when she first started posting.
> 
> That's the way it sometimes is with me. I have to feel a person out, and the best of them always rise to the surface...and I scoop them up and pinch their widdle cheeks, and adore them in a huge way.



See, this is the way of the Gorgon.. so untrusting until they get to know you. 
I would MUCH prefer this than fake nice people, like those goddam minotaur!
Thank you though missus..you are the best!:wubu:
Btw. 'widdle' in scottish means pee, so i 'had imagary'!!


----------



## steely

IC if I had a gun this morning when I was watching a PETA representative try to justify their whale campaign, I would have shot the TV. Of course my blood sugar was very low but I would have done it anyway.


----------



## mergirl

steely said:


> IC if I had a gun this morning when I was watching a PETA representative try to justify their whale campaign, I would have shot the TV. Of course my blood sugar was very low but I would have done it anyway.


This gives me an idea! Peta members could save some animals by allowing hunters to hunt them instead of animals. I think this is a great idea!  
I love animals and hate them...hmm i think a lot of people feel the same.


----------



## balletguy

I confess that I was at a NJ beach on Sunday and there were 3 BBWs on the beach and I could not keep my eyes off of them.


----------



## butch

balletguy said:


> I confess that I was at a NJ beach on Sunday and there were 3 BBWs on the beach and I could not keep my eyes off of them.



Balletguy, your post might belong better on the FA/FFA Forum or the Fat Sexuality forum. This thread is for BBWs themselves to confess, not for 'sighting' confessions from men. Thanks so much for understanding.

Mod Butch


----------



## msbard90

i confess that I have some sort of condtion on my hands that even the "supposedly best" dermatologist in CT hasn't even taken care of. My skin on my hands is opening and I don't even have visible fingerprints anymore. I wish someone knew what it was. 

I confess it upsets me every day and makes me want to cut off every one of my fingers.


----------



## EllorionsDarlingAngel

msbard90 said:


> i confess that I have some sort of condtion on my hands that even the "supposedly best" dermatologist in CT hasn't even taken care of. My skin on my hands is opening and I don't even have visible fingerprints anymore. I wish someone knew what it was.
> 
> I confess it upsets me every day and makes me want to cut off every one of my fingers.


Aww babe..don't do that...are your hands in water alot?


----------



## katorade

msbard90 said:


> i confess that I have some sort of condtion on my hands that even the "supposedly best" dermatologist in CT hasn't even taken care of. My skin on my hands is opening and I don't even have visible fingerprints anymore. I wish someone knew what it was.
> 
> I confess it upsets me every day and makes me want to cut off every one of my fingers.



Opening? As in bursting open?


----------



## steely

msbard90 said:


> i confess that I have some sort of condtion on my hands that even the "supposedly best" dermatologist in CT hasn't even taken care of. My skin on my hands is opening and I don't even have visible fingerprints anymore. I wish someone knew what it was.
> 
> I confess it upsets me every day and makes me want to cut off every one of my fingers.



My mother's hands will do this is if, as EDA stated her hands are in water a lot. She uses a prescription medication called Aristicort to clear it up. Thought it might be worth mentioning. I know her hands really hurt. Sorry to hear this is happening to you.


----------



## Jane

mergirl said:


> See, this is the way of the Gorgon.. so untrusting until they get to know you.
> I would MUCH prefer this than fake nice people, like those goddam minotaur!
> Thank you though missus..you are the best!:wubu:
> Btw. 'widdle' in scottish means pee, so i 'had imagary'!!



Don't let mossy fool you. She will scoop you with a melon baller given the first opportunity. I've seen her do it.


----------



## Jane

steely said:


> My mother's hands will do this is if, as EDA stated her hands are in water a lot. She uses a prescription medication called Aristicort to clear it up. Thought it might be worth mentioning. I know her hands really hurt. Sorry to hear this is happening to you.



And I whine about the hives from my allergy to the sun.


----------



## steely

Jane said:


> And I whine about the hives from my allergy to the sun.



Everyone has the right to whine about the issues that plague them. Don't get me started on diabetes, I can't even go out in the sun. The meds, I confess it grates on my nerve. I only have one.


----------



## ashmamma84

IC that I enjoy being in my own company. I'm happy and content to just bum around my house or curl up on the couch and read a good book. Or one of my fave things to do - go for a walk in the neighborhood. It can be such a nice thing.


----------



## EllorionsDarlingAngel

I confess that after a phone call from my mom today I found out that my Uncles cancer came back and this time they don't think he can beat it...So sad..I hope I don't loose another family member this year to cancer..I lost my Oma back in April from Lung,Brain and liver caner. He has the same things that she had..He beat it the first time around,but it came back...


----------



## msbard90

EllorionsDarlingAngel said:


> Aww babe..don't do that...are your hands in water alot?


nope. not any more than usual. it just happened as these 3 little bumps on my right ring finger. I thought they looked like blisters, or even a wart or something. But then it erupted and my skin will just randomly open and flake and bleed and my nails are looking pretty disgusting. Its not a fungus or anything though... FML haha



katorade said:


> Opening? As in bursting open?


opening as in pretty much random cuts appear after doing nothing to get them. deep and wide wounds.... ickk


steely said:


> My mother's hands will do this is if, as EDA stated her hands are in water a lot. She uses a prescription medication called Aristicort to clear it up. Thought it might be worth mentioning. I know her hands really hurt. Sorry to hear this is happening to you.



right now i'm using desoximetasone cream, which is a corticosteroid, probably like the aristicort. It is at the strongest level for a topical cream.
Next step would be to ingest prednisone pills for god knows how long... and I know I'm gonna gain a lot of water weight if I take them... not cool


----------



## Punkin1024

MsBard - so sorry you're having skin issues on your hands. I don't know if this will help, but we use "Renew" Intensive Skin Therapy Lotion a lot (especially hubby - he had cracks around the tips of his thumbs). This lotion is made by the Melaleuca Company. You can only get it from a distrubutor or you can become a preferred customer and buy for yourself. 

I hope you can get something to clear that up fast.

IC that I've been staying up way too late. Just can't seem to get off the computer and I look forward to coming home and playing games all day long. Though, I am getting a bit tired of keeping up with all the games, so I'm thinking that I'll soon just play a bit and come in here for conversation.


----------



## katorade

msbard90 said:


> nope. not any more than usual. it just happened as these 3 little bumps on my right ring finger. I thought they looked like blisters, or even a wart or something. But then it erupted and my skin will just randomly open and flake and bleed and my nails are looking pretty disgusting. Its not a fungus or anything though... FML haha




Holy crap, my right hand is doing the same thing. First a little bump appeared on my middle finger, then a series of 4 or 5 on the back of my hand. They itched and erupted and are now flaky and scabbed over. 
It's not ringworm, either. Had that before and this is quite different.


----------



## mergirl

Jane said:


> Don't let mossy fool you. She will scoop you with a melon baller given the first opportunity. I've seen her do it.


yeah.. i can imagine!


----------



## msbard90

Punkin1024 said:


> MsBard - so sorry you're having skin issues on your hands. I don't know if this will help, but we use "Renew" Intensive Skin Therapy Lotion a lot (especially hubby - he had cracks around the tips of his thumbs). This lotion is made by the Melaleuca Company. You can only get it from a distrubutor or you can become a preferred customer and buy for yourself.
> 
> I hope you can get something to clear that up fast.
> 
> IC that I've been staying up way too late. Just can't seem to get off the computer and I look forward to coming home and playing games all day long. Though, I am getting a bit tired of keeping up with all the games, so I'm thinking that I'll soon just play a bit and come in here for conversation.





katorade said:


> Holy crap, my right hand is doing the same thing. First a little bump appeared on my middle finger, then a series of 4 or 5 on the back of my hand. They itched and erupted and are now flaky and scabbed over.
> It's not ringworm, either. Had that before and this is quite different.



Thanks Everyone!

IC that I need a new job, and fast.


----------



## mossystate

mergirl said:


> yeah.. i can imagine!



Well...back to me disliking you! Great. Just...great. Sheeeeeeeeeesh.


----------



## missmiss

I feel guilty for feeling guilty for eating melted peanut butter...im anemic and i lose alot of iron when you know who comes along and it makes me feel better...and it tastes good. But certain father came around saying 'yup, looks like something a fat chick would do'.  call me insecure. Now i want more peanut butter...:eat2:


----------



## mergirl

Mossy, i was meerly impressed that you had the strength to actually scoop people with a melon baller! I have never used a melon baller..but i imagine its like an icecream scoop cept for melons. Scooping people with one of these is impressive!! I think you should go on Americas got talent! 
I hope you stop loathing me soon.. because i have a feeling i wouldnt like getting 'balled'


----------



## Jane

missmiss said:


> I feel guilty for feeling guilty for eating melted peanut butter...im anemic and i lose alot of iron when you know who comes along and it makes me feel better...and it tastes good. But certain father came around saying 'yup, looks like something a fat chick would do'.  call me insecure. Now i want more peanut butter...:eat2:



Miss...sorry he did that. Too bad it's your dad, so you can't come back with "Sounds like something an unthinking person would say."


----------



## Tania

I confess that I fucked up again. I'm weak and he's like the ultimate weapon.


----------



## mergirl

Tania said:


> I confess that I fucked up again. I'm weak and he's like the ultimate weapon.


Aww.. grrrr the noive of boiys!!! (cowardly lion voice)


----------



## Tania

I'm addicted to the little shit. I'm doomed, Mer!


----------



## mergirl

Tania said:


> I'm addicted to the little shit. I'm doomed, Mer!


noivoir soiy doiymed.... ok..i can't keep up the cowardly lion speak. 
Hmmm.. Find a new drug of choice. Then you get to chose, lessening the hold the other drugboi has over you. Cause its all about pheremones... next time you see him spray him with mace. Also, be on the look out of other hot ones. Hmm.. i really should never be an agony aunt should i?? lmao.. Erm.. if that doesnt work form a crack habit!


----------



## mossystate

mergirl said:


> noi Erm.. if that doesnt work form a crack habit!



Great...now you have her imagining his ass. Nice going, mer!!


----------



## mergirl

mossystate said:


> Great...now you have her imagining his ass. Nice going, mer!!


Look, boys bums are never that nice on close inspection. I'm sure she will find a nasty cling-on and not be quite so smite by him. Shitty bums can kill passion quicker than quicker than......hmm its 2.15 here..someone else needs to finish that sentence! 
(i realise 'smitten' was infact the correct term..but 'quite so smite seemed right to me in an Ocd way)


----------



## Tania

Ha! True...boybutts are basically gross if you take the hormones out of the equation, but love is blind...


----------



## mergirl

Love is blind but poo stains on a crisp clean bedsheet can be seen!!
You remember this next time you feel those hormones of doom desending on you missus!!
Think jobby bums!! Jobby Bums!!!! 
clean sheets n jobby boy bums...clean sheets n jobby boy bums....repeat to fade...


----------



## Tania

Lol. He farts in bed and talks in his sleep!

Do I still care?

Ugh, yes. One day I'll get it right, Mer. I promise.


----------



## Jane

Tania said:


> Ha! True...boybutts are basically gross if you take the hormones out of the equation, but love is blind...



Are you insane? Boybutts ROCK!!!! 

On another note, this week I am obsessed with the fact the song "Our House" by Stephen Stills (nice little sing) was written for Joni Mitchell, which gives the line "You come (cum) before me" a whole new meaning.


----------



## Tania

All butts are kind of gross if you think about where they sit and what they're designed to do.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I am a worrywart and it has done nothing but make me sick at my stomach...Wish I could change..


----------



## Punkin1024

I confess that I am again up way too late (2:00 a.m. here in Texas), but I just had to drop in to visit with my girlfriends!


----------



## Punkin1024

Another confession, I need a new hairstyle, but I just can't decided what kind of style. I'm so picky! I'll probably be changing my color too. Any suggestions?


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Punkin1024 said:


> Another confession, I need a new hairstyle, but I just can't decided what kind of style. I'm so picky! I'll probably be changing my color too. Any suggestions?



Lighter blond popped into my head....and I think you should keep length.


----------



## Suze

Tania said:


> All butts are kind of gross if you think about where they sit and what they're designed to do.


i'm so glad wimmenz don't have that problem!


----------



## Keb

IC that I want to cry because I finally got over myself and went to a doctor today about my ankle...and found out I weigh about 30lbs more than I thought I did. I don't know why that scares me so much--I guess because I figured hey, I'm fat, but at least it's pretty stable. Now I just feel broken.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Keb said:


> IC that I want to cry because I finally got over myself and went to a doctor today about my ankle...and found out I weigh about 30lbs more than I thought I did. I don't know why that scares me so much--I guess because I figured hey, I'm fat, but at least it's pretty stable. Now I just feel broken.




I understand how you feel. Same thing happened to me at my doctor last year when I started having a lot of problems with my blood pressure. The numbers are jolting....


----------



## Tania

I confess that when I get really depressed, the self-loathing kicks in. Right now I feel like I look less than shit. I want to shave the fat bulb off of my nose, fix my eyes, implant my jawline, suck out the chin waddle, get a boob job, and lipo off my midriff blob.


----------



## Inhibited

ic: That about a month ago i had a sexual dream about someone from dims and i'm still not over it. If it was someone i was interested in would understand but was so random, don't think i will ever be able to look at them the same ever again.


----------



## butch

Tania said:


> I confess that when I get really depressed, the self-loathing kicks in. Right now I feel like I look less than shit. I want to shave the fat bulb off of my nose, fix my eyes, implant my jawline, suck out the chin waddle, get a boob job, and lipo off my midriff blob.



((((((((((((Tania))))))))))))))). I know how you feel. When I'm in those places, I never believe anything anybody says, but I do believe in hugs, so I hope my virtual one helps.


----------



## Deven

IC that I've lost all social obligations because of World of Warcraft. My guild makes me feel more comfortable with myself than I ever have, because they are all gay and don't judge me. They don't make fun of me if I mention I've gained a few pounds, and the ones I converse with on facebook/myspace/IM have seen me through more shit than my real friends have.


----------



## mergirl

Jane said:


> Are you insane? Boybutts ROCK!!!!
> 
> On another note, this week I am obsessed with the fact the song "Our House" by Stephen Stills (nice little sing) was written for Joni Mitchell, which gives the line "You come (cum) before me" a whole new meaning.





Tania said:


> All butts are kind of gross if you think about where they sit and what they're designed to do.



See, bottoms are lovely..butt (tee-hee). When i was younger and i thought someone was hot and they didn't think i was hot back i would just imagine them taking a rotton crap.. Soon put that unrequited crush right back in its place! :happy:


----------



## mergirl

Inhibited said:


> ic: That about a month ago i had a sexual dream about someone from dims and i'm still not over it. If it was someone i was interested in would understand but was so random, don't think i will ever be able to look at them the same ever again.


Look. Don't get embarresed. Everyone has dreams like that about me. Just think about me taking a big shit and soon your luuurve dreams will be out the window.. promise!


----------



## Tania

*hugs* butch. Thank you, sweets, it means a lot.

mer, you crack me up!


----------



## mergirl

Tania said:


> *hugs* butch. Thank you, sweets, it means a lot.
> 
> mer, you crack me up!


haha.. can't belive you said crack!! giggles...


----------



## Punkin1024

Fly by post before I get to bed. I'm loving this forum!


----------



## Tania

mergirl said:


> haha.. can't belive you said crack!! giggles...



Haha! Thanks for putting up with my crazy supreme, guys. It helps to get it out quick and raw here on ye olde thread.


----------



## Friday

missmiss said:


> I feel guilty for feeling guilty for eating melted peanut butter...im anemic and i lose alot of iron when you know who comes along and it makes me feel better...and it tastes good. But certain father came around saying 'yup, looks like something a fat chick would do'.  call me insecure. Now i want more peanut butter...:eat2:



Sometimes the body knows best. Peanut butter is listed as a good source of nonheme iron. An important one if you don't eat meat or seafood.

http://healthlibrary.epnet.com/GetC...07-b7e1-4147-9947-abca6797a602&chunkiid=10984

Tell your dad I said to piss off. Combating anemia is more important than your weight. It will wear you out and leave you open to all kinds of illnesses.


----------



## Friday

Tania said:


> I confess that when I get really depressed, the self-loathing kicks in. Right now I feel like I look less than shit. I want to shave the fat bulb off of my nose, fix my eyes, implant my jawline, suck out the chin waddle, get a boob job, and lipo off my midriff blob.




Stop that! You're cuter than a button and there is nothing wrong with your nose.


----------



## msbard90

i confess that i called out of work today with a complete and utter BS story


...doubt they honestly believed it...

hey it worked


----------



## Tania

Friday said:


> Stop that! You're cuter than a button and there is nothing wrong with your nose.



Thank you, sweets. :*

I confess...that I'm letting go. Again. Hurts like hell to give up on someone, but I can't let him rip me apart again.


----------



## katorade

Tania said:


> Thank you, sweets. :*
> 
> I confess...that I'm letting go. Again. Hurts like hell to give up on someone, but I can't let him rip me apart again.




If you had a big enough crock pot you could turn him into stew and then keep him in the freezer foreeeeeeever. Well, maybe not forever. How long do you think stew takes to freezer burn?


----------



## Tania

katorade said:


> If you had a big enough crock pot you could turn him into stew and then keep him in the freezer foreeeeeeever. Well, maybe not forever. How long do you think stew takes to freezer burn?



That was disturbing, yet hilarious. Knowing my dumb, clingy ass, I'd probably keep him in there well past the sell-by date. Just to know he's still there. 

If I were a psycho serial killer. But I'm not. So...yeah.

Dang. Lol.


----------



## Keb

IC I've been experimenting with makeup...after work, when nobody's going to see me anyway. 

(My mom never wears makeup, so it's kind of foreign territory for me.)


----------



## msbard90

Keb said:


> IC I've been experimenting with makeup...after work, when nobody's going to see me anyway.
> 
> (My mom never wears makeup, so it's kind of foreign territory for me.)



aww  I'm sure it looks pretty darn good too! May you one day be confident enough to wear it to work


----------



## msbard90

I meant confident enough with wearing makeup... oh darn now I look like a jerk so so sososososososoos sorry keb :doh:


----------



## Punkin1024

Keb,

There's loads of us that love playing with makeup...if you want any tips. Makeup is loads of fun!


IC that while jumping from profile to profile on Yoville.com (part of the YoVille game on Facebook), I found a YoVille player whose name is "BBW Lover". Any of you YoVillers ever seen him? Just curious, I tried to leave him a message on his profile, but the darn server was to slow.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I am on facebook and a lot of Dimmers have no idea who I am...


----------



## steely

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC I am on facebook and a lot of Dimmers have no idea who I am...



I am probably one of those people. That should change, we could FarmTown.
I'm addicted.:doh:


----------



## msbard90

IC that I havent spoken to a single one of my facebook friends (except family) in real life since I graduated high school 2 years ago.


----------



## Punkin1024

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC I am on facebook and a lot of Dimmers have no idea who I am...



That probably goes for a lot of people from here because we use "on-line" names in here, rarely does some use their real name and especially the last name. This is frustrating for me because I get suggestions for friends a lot and I haven't a clue who they are except that they're mutual friends of one of my Dims people. I've said it before, if you'd like to add me as a friend or send a request, just drop me a line on Facebook with the request and let me know who you are in here. Or you could PM me to learn my real name!


----------



## steely

I confess that in the past 7 months after being diagnosed with diabetes, I have lost 90 pounds. :blink:


----------



## OneWickedAngel

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC I am on facebook and a lot of Dimmers have no idea who I am...





steely said:


> I am probably one of those people. That should change, we could FarmTown.
> I'm addicted.:doh:


*LOL! FarmTown! You're hopeless, Steely!*



Punkin1024 said:


> That probably goes for a lot of people from here because we use "on-line" names in here, rarely does some use their real name and especially the last name. This is frustrating for me because I get suggestions for friends a lot and I haven't a clue who they are except that they're mutual friends of one of my Dims people. I've said it before, if you'd like to add me as a friend or send a request, just drop me a line on Facebook with the request and let me know who you are in here. Or you could PM me to learn my real name!



*I just said this in the Facebook, MySpace etc. thread: Also when mentioning Dims, include your Dims name if (like many of us) it does not happen to be some easily recognizable form of your real name. This is especially true for those of you with new accounts or accounts without identifying pictures. Just because you say you're from Dims and eighteen other people have friended you does not automatically equate anyone else you friend from here will when they don't know exactly who you are. 

Also note that some people take their friends list seriously and are NOT going to automatically add you, simply just because you are from Dimensions. Even if they know who you are.*


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Punkin even has me playing yoville..I am completely lost on that one....LOL

I agree OWA and the way I see it if people want to be Facebook friends from here then a PM would be in order..

BTW Steely I am going to pass you in Farkle!


----------



## steely

BubbleButtBabe said:


> BTW Steely I am going to pass you in Farkle!



Yeah, yeah, yeah, bring it!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

cough *snicker* cough!!


----------



## Suze

i really dislike when girls constantly refer to themselves as princesses... especially if they're being serious about it. 

"i'm a princess & deserves the best" type of comments makes me barf. 


*hides* :S


----------



## Jane

Suze said:


> i really dislike when girls constantly refer to themselves as princesses... especially if they're being serious about it.
> 
> "i'm a princess & deserves the best" type of comments makes me barf.
> 
> 
> *hides* :S


I agree completely. For one thing, can't we teach the to want more than that? Can't we teach them to want something THEY make?


----------



## kayrae

Haha... I feel the same way. What's worse are the guys who call you princesses on PM. Just right now some dude wrote me on AIM and said, "How are you, my plus size princess?"

Shut the eff up!


----------



## Suze

Jane said:


> I agree completely. For one thing, can't we teach the to want more than that? Can't we teach them to want something THEY make?


yeah, what's the fun in playing a victim all the time? 


kayrae said:


> Haha... I feel the same way. What's worse are the guys who call you princesses on PM. Just right now some dude wrote me on AIM and said, "How are you, my plus size princess?"
> 
> Shut the eff up!


yikes. that's pretty disturbing....!


and funny ;p


----------



## mossystate

I wonder how much someone would have to pay me/how drunk I would have to be, to go out of the house with the word Princess on an article of clothing. 

Even when I was younger, I would have died a thousand cheesy deaths.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I am starting to think that some of the people that post on the boards get really shit-faced drunk and THEN start typing.......

Or....at least....I HOPE that's what happens.....:doh:



Oh and f*ck it all if I don't want to EAT AND EAT AND EAT tonight.......


----------



## ashmamma84

IC sometimes after work, a woman just wants to relax and zone out while getting a fill and pedi. And hey, it small talk conversation strikes up, all is well, but please...PLEASE can it not involve any talk of weight; how big or small some other woman is really isn't my concern. Especially at the start of my weekend. :doh:


----------



## msbard90

kayrae said:


> Haha... I feel the same way. What's worse are the guys who call you princesses on PM. Just right now some dude wrote me on AIM and said, "How are you, my plus size princess?"
> 
> Shut the eff up!



Umm, well so I repped this. lol. and FYI that must be the raunchiest, yet most common introdution. it would be like me im'ing a guy saying, how are you my wild wonderful woody woodpecker?


----------



## Fat.n.sassy

Tau said:


> I confess to having a distinctly unhealthy thing for my workaholic, skinny ass, female boss... I dig chicks but never before chicks like her



What is unhealthy about it? Is it because she's your boss?


----------



## Fat.n.sassy

Punkin1024 said:


> I keep thinking about picking up Cinnamon rolls on my way to work, but hubby has been taking me in, so I don't mention it to him!



I'm sorry you can't eat what you want in front of your husband. I SO understand. Is he "passive" about it, just commenting or is does he overtly bitch and disparage?


----------



## Fat.n.sassy

butch said:


> Has anyone used the cup thingies for their period? A friend pointed them out to me in the drugstore (she learned about them in a women's studies class), and they're like little plastic cups you slide inside, just like a tampon. I would think they'd be messy when you take them out, but in general I want to know how they work.



Sort of like using a diaphram while having a period. It is messy when you take it out, but some people would rather not have the pads.


----------



## Fat.n.sassy

msbard90 said:


> ic that i worked harder than any of those dumbasses today. and now my feet absolutely ache. Massage, please, anyone?



I wish you were local (to me) I've been told I give "good foot". :happy: LOL!


----------



## mszwebs

I don't know where the hell to put this, so I'm putting it here. Feel free to move it to wherever.

I have huge hair right now, and I feel like if you took bumpited Shakira's hair and morphed her with bouffanty Jackie Kennedy's hair.

I should probably stay away from open flame...


----------



## Blackjack

mszwebs said:


> I don't know where the hell to put this, so I'm putting it here. Feel free to move it to wherever.
> 
> I have huge hair right now, and I feel like if you took bumpited Shakira's hair and morphed her with bouffanty Jackie Kennedy's hair.
> 
> I should probably stay away from open flame...



Pix or it didn't happen.


----------



## Keb

Jane said:


> I agree completely. For one thing, can't we teach the to want more than that? Can't we teach them to want something THEY make?



I think the princess label has been used two ways for a long time in popular culture....in the 1900 era books I was fed on, by authors like George MacDonald, L. Frank Baum, and Frances Hodgson Burnett, it was a calling to rise to, about being and becoming your best, rather than entitlement and being given reverence without any cause. That's why I've embraced the title more as I've grown up than I did as a kid--because it helps me remember to be my best, not because I think I deserve to be treated better (or heaven forbid, am better) than anyone else. 

Though, I admit I do like the dresses. And in the best versions of the fairytales, the princess rarely is just a passive lump waiting on prince charming--in the best ones, she proves her worth entirely apart from her crown.


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC that even though I really did need to spend all day in the library doing school work, part of the reason I didn't go with my friends to the beach today was because the ones going are all tiny (like size 0 or 2), and I just wasn't up for it.*

[*Disclaimer: I totally swim and go to the beach and rock my fat self in a swimsuit all the time...it was just something about being the fat woman in a group of very thin women I just didn't want to deal with today, if that makes sense.]


----------



## Inhibited

msbard90 said:


> Umm, well so I repped this. lol. and FYI that must be the raunchiest, yet most common introdution. it would be like me im'ing a guy saying, how are you my wild wonderful woody woodpecker?



ic: That i like being called "Princess". It only happens once a year if that. I never wear make-up anywhere or do my hair nice, except when going out to a club or party on the weekends, so when i'm called Princess it makes me feel feminine, like i must have got it right on that night. Even though i'm far from it i don't mind being perceived as high maintenance once in a while. 
Though i have to agree that when it is in messages from people who do not know me, then that is different.


----------



## Inhibited

Bugger, sorry added the wrong quote.


----------



## msbard90

Inhibited said:


> ic: That i like being called "Princess". It only happens once a year if that. I never wear make-up anywhere or do my hair nice, except when going out to a club or party on the weekends, so when i'm called Princess it makes me feel feminine, like i must have got it right on that night. Even though i'm far from it i don't mind being perceived as high maintenance once in a while.
> Though i have to agree that when it is in messages from people who do not know me, then that is different.



haha  yeah I like being called princess. My boyfriend calls me princess in a teasing way, especially when I'm being lazy and bratty, but it's really cute and I like it a lot. I don't care what other people say about hating the word princess. I think it's cute. I wouldn't wear it across my boobs, but hell, why not get the compliment. But I HATE being over the top complimented by complete strangers. It makes me vomit.


----------



## Punkin1024

Fat.n.sassy said:


> I'm sorry you can't eat what you want in front of your husband. I SO understand. Is he "passive" about it, just commenting or is does he overtly bitch and disparage?



Sometimes he doesn't bother me about it, sometimes he does. I just have to remember that he doesn't mean to be bothersome about it - he just gets in these moods and I have to wait till they pass. Yesterday, we bought cookies and potato chips - ate 'em and nothing was said! 

_____

On the "princess" thing. I agree with Keb. I come from a time where "princess" was not a snarky title, but usually an endearment - mostly from fathers. It meant you were special. However, I agree with others about a total stranger calling you princess. It would be upsetting.

____

Now for my confession - I had great plans for today - someone must have thought I needed to sit in front of this computer all day - because I've been sick with cramping and "the green apple quickstep" all day. Had to take Immodium - though I hate to because it messes with my system. Just ugh!


----------



## LovelyLiz

Punkin1024 said:


> Now for my confession - I had great plans for today - someone must have thought I needed to sit in front of this computer all day - because I've been sick with cramping and "the green apple quickstep" all day. Had to take Immodium - though I hate to because it messes with my system. Just ugh!



Sorry to hear that, Punkin! Hope you get some good rest and wake up feeling better in the morning.


----------



## Punkin1024

womanforconversation said:


> Sorry to hear that, Punkin! Hope you get some good rest and wake up feeling better in the morning.



Thanks you.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Sorry you are sick Punkin!! I hope you feel better soon..


----------



## Jane

Keb said:


> I think the princess label has been used two ways for a long time in popular culture....in the 1900 era books I was fed on, by authors like George MacDonald, L. Frank Baum, and Frances Hodgson Burnett, it was a calling to rise to, about being and becoming your best, rather than entitlement and being given reverence without any cause. That's why I've embraced the title more as I've grown up than I did as a kid--because it helps me remember to be my best, not because I think I deserve to be treated better (or heaven forbid, am better) than anyone else.
> 
> Though, I admit I do like the dresses. And in the best versions of the fairytales, the princess rarely is just a passive lump waiting on prince charming--in the best ones, she proves her worth entirely apart from her crown.



A princess is a woman who gained everything she has by her father's position. Regardless if she works hard or lumps it all day, she is still a princess.

THAT is why I think we should ask girls/women to achieve on their own, and not think they are automatically entitled.


----------



## TallFatSue

Jane said:


> A princess is a woman who gained everything she has by her father's position. Regardless if she works hard or lumps it all day, she is still a princess.
> 
> THAT is why I think we should ask girls/women to achieve on their own, and not think they are automatically entitled.


Absolutely. I worked pretty darn hard on my own to achieve what I am today, and I'm proud of it. So I clearly wasn't a princess. Nowadays I only ask people to treat me as they would any other goddess.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I am now hooked on (Lil)Green Patch..I am going crazy looking for dogs and have been the last 2 hours!


----------



## Jane

TallFatSue said:


> Absolutely. I worked pretty darn hard on my own to achieve what I am today, and I'm proud of it. So I clearly wasn't a princess. Nowadays I only ask people to treat me as they would any other goddess.



THAT I can agree with!!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I used to have some guy always message me and greet me as princess....I always corrected him that my real title is Queen


----------



## rainyday

LOL. Fitting, Greenie, fitting. And that avatar is fabulous. Not only shows off your pretty eyes but captures some of the spirit behind them.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

rainyday said:


> LOL. Fitting, Greenie, fitting. And that avatar is fabulous. Not only shows off your pretty eyes but captures some of the spirit behind them.



Thank you very much Rainy. Feeling good today- and wanted to see how it looked in pictures, if that makes sense


----------



## rainyday

Yup, it does.  Glad you are having a good day. Enjoy!


----------



## Punkin1024

Love the new Avatar Greenie! Looking good!

IC that I've been put out today - our internet went down and just when I was trying to get caught up enough on Facebook that I could spend more time in here! :doh:


----------



## Fat.n.sassy

I confess that I've long wanted to ask women of size if their bodies are/do some of the same things mine does.

Does anyone sweat profusely, especially head and face? (hot weather is not my friend)
Does anyone else have 'belly burps'? Air escaping under the belly apron when going up steps or something. 

I figured there's no one(s) better to ask than 'us'. Hope this isn't too personal.

Thanks!:bow:


----------



## olwen

Fat.n.sassy said:


> I confess that I've long wanted to ask women of size if their bodies are/do some of the same things mine does.
> 
> Does anyone sweat profusely, especially head and face? (hot weather is not my friend)
> Does anyone else have 'belly burps'? Air escaping under the belly apron when going up steps or something.
> 
> I figured there's no one(s) better to ask than 'us'. Hope this isn't too personal.
> 
> Thanks!:bow:



Sassy, this is a great topic for a separate thread.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC that I am loving this cool weather we are having..Who ever heard of 60 degrees at night at the end of August in Oklahoma..Normally it is so hot 24/7 you can't breath..


----------



## msbard90

ic that i have all the symptoms of a chronic hereditary condition that my sister has. Now I have to get it checked out and I'm scared to death.


----------



## archivaltype

Tania said:


> I confess that I fucked up again. I'm weak and he's like the ultimate weapon.





This. thisthisthisthis. I'm tired, but I can't help myself. I guess something's gotta give sometime, right?


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

I am sorry,,hugssss...Best advice I can give you is to walk away,no matter how much it hurts..


----------



## fatgirlflyin

IC that all the BBW sightings, and where is the best place to see a BBW threads make me feel like we are the elusive polka dotted elephant in the Serengeti.


----------



## rainyday

Ditto. To be honest, they always make me picture something out of Wild Kingdom where someone gets a tranquilizer dart in the ass, only it's in the laundry detergent aisle.


----------



## mergirl

rainyday said:


> Ditto. To be honest, they always make me picture something out of Wild Kingdom where someone gets a tranquilizer dart in the ass, only it's in the laundry detergent aisle.


hahahaha..
Wait, are you saying that the laundry detergent aisle is a good place to spot bbws?? I must inform the Fa's!!! *makes a series of whoops and clicks!!*


----------



## Fat.n.sassy

olwen said:


> Sassy, this is a great topic for a separate thread.



Cool! How do I do that?
Thanks!


----------



## rainyday

mergirl said:


> hahahaha..
> Wait, are you saying that the laundry detergent aisle is a good place to spot bbws?? I must inform the Fa's!!! *makes a series of whoops and clicks!!*



Mer, we are everywhere. We have invaded your minds.  Actually, as I'm always saying, the best place to find BBWs is in a pool in a water aerobics class! Especially the evening classes. Tell them the laundry aisle though just to throw them off track.


----------



## katorade

rainyday said:


> Ditto. To be honest, they always make me picture something out of Wild Kingdom where someone gets a tranquilizer dart in the ass, only it's in the laundry detergent aisle.



Then they break out the canvas sling and hook you up to a scale. If you're not big enough they tag your ear and dump you in the snack foods aisle in hopes you'll wake up hungry, observing you from behind a display of 3 for $12 cases of soda.


----------



## steely

Fat.n.sassy said:


> Cool! How do I do that?
> Thanks!



Go to the main BBW Forum and in the top left corner it says New Thread, click on that and post your new thread. It's a good one by the way.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

katorade said:


> Then they break out the canvas sling and hook you up to a scale. If you're not big enough they tag your ear and dump you in the snack foods aisle in hopes you'll wake up hungry, observing you from behind a display of 3 for $12 cases of soda.



Tried to rep you, but must spread it around.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

rainyday said:


> Ditto. To be honest, they always make me picture something out of Wild Kingdom where someone gets a tranquilizer dart in the ass, only it's in the laundry detergent aisle.





katorade said:


> Then they break out the canvas sling and hook you up to a scale. If you're not big enough they tag your ear and dump you in the snack foods aisle in hopes you'll wake up hungry, observing you from behind a display of 3 for $12 cases of soda.





hahaha Now I am imagining them stalking women all over the stores and hiding in the frozen food aisles when she goes by or being under the fruit in the produce section!


----------



## rainyday

He lurks.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Oh My Rainy! He does seem to have a big gun! :blush:


----------



## Deven

I confess that, for over a year now, a comment my brother made about my weight (he likened me to Jabba the Hut) has been stewing in my brain. I can't even talk to him civilly anymore.


----------



## archivaltype

BubbleButtBabe said:


> I am sorry,,hugssss...Best advice I can give you is to walk away,no matter how much it hurts..



Thank you! 
Heh, I dunno. I do these things to myself, and when my bubble's popped...
I'll learn one of these days.


----------



## Fat.n.sassy

steely said:


> Go to the main BBW Forum and in the top left corner it says New Thread, click on that and post your new thread. It's a good one by the way.



Thanks Steely! I thought only moderators could do that . I'm new at this thing.


----------



## steely

Fat.n.sassy said:


> Thanks Steely! I thought only moderators could do that . I'm new at this thing.



You are doing just fine. Everyone needs a little help from their friends sometimes.


----------



## mossystate

Fat n Sassy....actually, I am the only one who can " do that ". I am sorry you were not informed. 








Hey, it could be true...on some planet!


----------



## Keb

IC I broke into tears tonight because I can't afford health insurance. 

Clearly, I'm a wreck.


----------



## Punkin1024

Keb, I am so sorry! I hope you can find some help.


----------



## Punkin1024

Now my confession - this is a fly by post! Gotta keep up with my friends, but I also gotta get some sleep. Just wanted to let you all know that I started walking again on Monday night. It's slow going but I'm determined to get my stamina back!


----------



## mergirl

rainyday said:


> Mer, we are everywhere. We have invaded your minds.  Actually, as I'm always saying, the best place to find BBWs is in a pool in a water aerobics class! Especially the evening classes. Tell them the laundry aisle though just to throw them off track.


Ahhh.. great idea.. muwahahaha! Now, where are my goggles??


----------



## steely

Punkin1024 said:


> Now my confession - this is a fly by post! Gotta keep up with my friends, but I also gotta get some sleep. Just wanted to let you all know that I started walking again on Monday night. It's slow going but I'm determined to get my stamina back!



That is great news! Take it as slow as you need to, there's time.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Way to go Punkin!!!! Good for you,take your time and it will get easier!


----------



## mergirl

steely said:


> That is great news! Take it as slow as you need to, there's time.



This!! good on you!!


----------



## steely

mergirl said:


> This!! good on you!!



LOL, sometimes I actually know of what I speak.


----------



## Crystal

Ahh, speaking of water aerobics...!

IC my roommate and I just started going to a free water aerobics class on campus at the brand new pool across from our apartment. It's fantastic. We love it.


----------



## Tania

I CONFESS THAT I'M MOVING BACK TO OC!!!!!!!! 

Hopefully within the next six months. Pray for me.


----------



## Trudy

I confess I lust after someone I shouldn't.:blush:


----------



## steely

CrystalUT11 said:


> Ahh, speaking of water aerobics...!
> 
> IC my roommate and I just started going to a free water aerobics class on campus at the brand new pool across from our apartment. It's fantastic. We love it.



You are so lucky! Good for you, literally!


----------



## Vespertine

I confess I watch Drop Dead Diva regularly, even though it annoys the hell out of me and then I have to rant about it to anyone who will listen.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I watch Dirty Jobs just to listen to the guy talk....I love his voice!! Yeah I watch all the Ford commercials too! :blush:


----------



## katorade

You have to watch his old QVC videos! I love Mike Rowe.


----------



## SparklingBBW

Jumping on the I <3 Mike Rowe bandwagon. He's a total hottie! And he once was an opera singer, so no wonder he has such a great voice.

:wubu: Mike Rowe

.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Thank you katorade for telling me about the QVC videos...I went to youtube and found a few..The ones of him singing My Way,Wow!!! I know I am in love with him for sure...What a voice!!


----------



## Keb

IC I dreamed I was playing the princess in a play of "The Frog Prince" and I was to call in audience members to play parts. Michael J. Fox, wearing Marty McFly's clothes, wanted to play my prince!!! I dreamed a hug, but woke up before the kiss. It was a very nice dream.


----------



## Punkin1024

Keb - I love dreams like that!

IC - tomorrow's Friday! Yippee!! Can hardly wait for the long weekend so I can get caught up in here, on my webpage and in Facebook! Sigh!


----------



## mossystate

Went to a fair with a nine year old niece...a nine year old nephew...a 2 year old nephew...a 43 year old sister.

Just got home...and I feel like I was kicked...hard...more than a few places...8 hours of walking and standing in lines...a total of maybe 20 minutes sitting.

I confess I don't want to have a body so broken down to this degree.


The cows were fucking cute. The corn dog was so fucking nasty.

Roomie just went to buy me a big salad...this time of night...he was in bed...asked what I might like...nice boy.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Vespertine said:


> I confess I watch Drop Dead Diva regularly, even though it annoys the hell out of me and then I have to rant about it to anyone who will listen.



Me too!!!! 

IC also that I have been watching More to Love (on Hulu)...even tho it makes me feel the need to take a shower afterwards each time to wash off the skeevy.


----------



## Jane

mossystate said:


> Went to a fair with a nine year old niece...a nine year old nephew...a 2 year old nephew...a 43 year old sister.
> 
> Just got home...and I feel like I was kicked...hard...more than a few places...8 hours of walking and standing in lines...a total of maybe 20 minutes sitting.
> 
> I confess I don't want to have a body so broken down to this degree.
> 
> 
> The cows were fucking cute. The corn dog was so fucking nasty.
> 
> Roomie just went to buy me a big salad...this time of night...he was in bed...asked what I might like...nice boy.



WTF is the matter with you? You don't spend 8 hours at a fair with kids that age.

Have I taught you NOTHING?


----------



## mossystate

Jane said:


> WTF is the matter with you? You don't spend 8 hours at a fair with kids that age.
> 
> Have I taught you NOTHING?



You really haven't. Ha! Oh, and that was a 3 year old, not a 2 year old. That one year means more energy. 

I can't blame them. They are fun as hell, and they all adore their Aunt. The two oldest won ( I paid for ) inflatable hammers. The little one looked so forlorn, as he could not play the game. The carnival worker said, " hey, little buddy...hold on "...and handed him a hammer. The three of them started beating the fuck out of one another...and me. I love those kids.

One of the reasons I want more energy is that I miss this kind of thing...too often. 

Now, when the two oldest were being drama llamas over the smell of the cow barns....that is when I wished I had not gone with them. Kids who have never spent time on a farm.....pffft.


----------



## Jane

mossystate said:


> You really haven't. Ha! Oh, and that was a 3 year old, not a 2 year old. That one year means more energy.
> 
> I can't blame them. They are fun as hell, and they all adore their Aunt. The two oldest won ( I paid for ) inflatable hammers. The little one looked so forlorn, as he could not play the game. The carnival worker said, " hey, little buddy...hold on "...and handed him a hammer. The three of them started beating the fuck out of one another...and me. I love those kids.
> 
> One of the reasons I want more energy is that I miss this kind of thing...too often.
> 
> Now, when the two oldest were being drama llamas over the smell of the cow barns....that is when I wished I had not gone with them. Kids who have never spent time on a farm.....pffft.



I can't bitch at you too much (though I will try). LOL

I just always limited the time because there is only so much "fun" I can take. Besides while four hours a day over two days is one thing. Eight in a stretch is an entirely different animal. And its poo smells.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I confess that I bought myself a big, fancy cake for my birthday because I'm celebrating with my family today. I am going to have some of that cake....and maybe some fried potatoes, for breakfast.

It's a mystery why I'm fat.


----------



## Suze

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I confess that I bought myself a big, fancy cake for my birthday because I'm celebrating with my family today. I am going to have some of that cake....and maybe some fried potatoes, for breakfast.
> 
> It's a mystery why I'm fat.


happy b day fatty ;P


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Suze said:


> happy b day fatty ;P



Lol, thank you Sweetie. Now I have to confess that I got off my arse and cooked everyone breakfast, ate some and now I'm too full to eat cake right now


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC if I had known I was gonna live this long I would have taken better care of my body....I hate to be in so much physical pain!!


----------



## Punkin1024

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC if I had known I was gonna live this long I would have taken better care of my body....I hate to be in so much physical pain!!


Sorry you're hurting! Do what I do, take some aspirin and aspire to eating foods that help rather than hurt my body. (I'm a big one to talk, I've been eating loads of shortbread - chocolate topped cookies and all that sugar is beginning to make me sick!)

My confession: Does anyone ever let their curiosity get the better of them and click on the "see who's been searching for you" ads on Facebook? And, is it really free? I've been dying to see who's been searching for me, but I'm afraid there's strings attached or it's a hoax of some kind.


----------



## butch

IC that life is very very good right now. It feels extra good because I've been diligently working towards holistic well being inside and out, and I am thisclose to the summit. That makes this Labor Day weekend one worth celebrating for my own personal self improvement labor.


----------



## Fascinita

butch said:


> IC that life is very very good right now. It feels extra good because I've been diligently working towards holistic well being inside and out, and I am thisclose to the summit. That makes this Labor Day weekend one worth celebrating for my own personal self improvement labor.



Really happy about this for you, butchers.


----------



## Punkin1024

Fascinita said:


> Really happy about this for you, butchers.



I second that!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Punkin1024 said:


> Sorry you're hurting! Do what I do, take some aspirin and aspire to eating foods that help rather than hurt my body. (I'm a big one to talk, I've been eating loads of shortbread - chocolate topped cookies and all that sugar is beginning to make me sick!)
> 
> My confession: Does anyone ever let their curiosity get the better of them and click on the "see who's been searching for you" ads on Facebook? And, is it really free? I've been dying to see who's been searching for me, but I'm afraid there's strings attached or it's a hoax of some kind.



Thank you Punkin hugss..I wish that would work then I would be all over it!

I did something like that but it wasn't on Facebook..They showed me some random name in Cali that I had never heard of..Of course that name was free but to see any more was going to cost me $19 a month for a year..


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

May I inquire about what kinds of holistic things you are doing/interested in, Julia?


----------



## steely

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC if I had known I was gonna live this long I would have taken better care of my body....I hate to be in so much physical pain!!



Ditto!!!!


----------



## butch

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> May I inquire about what kinds of holistic things you are doing/interested in, Julia?



Hi GEF,

Well, I have to say I'm not actively using any alternative medical or diet products, or following any particular plan or way of life that would be labeled 'holistic.' 

What I am doing is learning to treat my mind, my body, and my soul as well as I can, and learning in particular how to deal with the emotional things that sabotage my ability to be happy and productive and caring.

So, that means therapy, houses of worship, going to the doctor for a check up, taking some supplements, learning to eat in a way that makes me feel better, being more active, being more social, etc.

Does this help? It has been a very long journey, but it all boils down to, I think, learning to be OK and pleased with the life I have, and to be OK with the good and the bad of it all, and to recognize that feeling feelings, no matter what they are, is the only way to utilize them in a healthy way.

It also means, above all else, maximizing how much control I have over my own self-image, and that I am the one who gives people with negative energy power over me. Plus, being able to surround myself with good friends is a huge plus.

Feel free to PM me if you have questions about specifics, although this is in alot of ways very freeform.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

butch said:


> Hi GEF,
> 
> Well, I have to say I'm not actively using any alternative medical or diet products, or following any particular plan or way of life that would be labeled 'holistic.'
> 
> What I am doing is learning to treat my mind, my body, and my soul as well as I can, and learning in particular how to deal with the emotional things that sabotage my ability to be happy and productive and caring.
> 
> So, that means therapy, houses of worship, going to the doctor for a check up, taking some supplements, learning to eat in a way that makes me feel better, being more active, being more social, etc.
> 
> Does this help? It has been a very long journey, but it all boils down to, I think, learning to be OK and pleased with the life I have, and to be OK with the good and the bad of it all, and to recognize that feeling feelings, no matter what they are, is the only way to utilize them in a healthy way.
> 
> It also means, above all else, maximizing how much control I have over my own self-image, and that I am the one who gives people with negative energy power over me. Plus, being able to surround myself with good friends is a huge plus.
> 
> Feel free to PM me if you have questions about specifics, although this is in alot of ways very freeform.



Julia....I have this big silly smile on my face right now from reading this....because it sounds like a parallel journey to the one I have been on the past several years. Glad to walk beside you if you ever need a friend


----------



## Tania

butch said:


> Plus, being able to surround myself with good friends is a huge plus.



For me, this makes all the difference in the world. :* 

Without kind, caring support, I tend to lose my shit in hyberbolically stupid ways.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I confess that.........I let someone from my past hurt me again. Wow....and now I'm the garbage because he is backed into a corner. 

I let this happen.....I didn't know but I did know better.........

Most ironic part is that I am so defensive about letting any new man into my life.....worried he won't treat me the way he should....yet, I allowed this bullshit to happen with an ex. This is in my lap....all on me....my dime. Looks like I haven't made those guys from the past stop kicking me in the head just yet.......

Why do I run to the same old shit from an ex while petrified of new things? That makes no sense....let some other asshole have a chance, I now say......because those old ones....there is no limit with them, no safety, no familiarity....only thing familiar is the self loathing when it's all said and done. 

I need a ritual....to rid myself of the ghost of past abusive relationships. I need to find a way to fill that empty spot inside of me that keeps letting the exes worm their way in to use/take advantage of me again. I am never in the control that I tell myself I am. 

Life is different from this day forward- one day at a time. I'm going to learn that.....

It's okay......I have many better days ahead


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Hugss GEF do not beat yourself up so badly.WE all do it,it is human to go back to what we know..Just keep moving forward and you will change and not accept what was the norm at one time..I wish you luck and I know you can do this!!


----------



## Tania

There's no shame in trying to see the best in people. There's also no shame in giving someone a second chance - that was actually very charitable of you.


----------



## Crystal

IC that I had amazing sex this weekend and though it makes me feel like a bit of a whore, I want lots more.


----------



## Jane

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I confess that.........I let someone from my past hurt me again. Wow....and now I'm the garbage because he is backed into a corner.
> 
> I let this happen.....I didn't know but I did know better.........
> 
> Most ironic part is that I am so defensive about letting any new man into my life.....worried he won't treat me the way he should....yet, I allowed this bullshit to happen with an ex. This is in my lap....all on me....my dime. Looks like I haven't made those guys from the past stop kicking me in the head just yet.......
> 
> Why do I run to the same old shit from an ex while petrified of new things? That makes no sense....let some other asshole have a chance, I now say......because those old ones....there is no limit with them, no safety, no familiarity....only thing familiar is the self loathing when it's all said and done.
> 
> I need a ritual....to rid myself of the ghost of past abusive relationships. I need to find a way to fill that empty spot inside of me that keeps letting the exes worm their way in to use/take advantage of me again. I am never in the control that I tell myself I am.
> 
> Life is different from this day forward- one day at a time. I'm going to learn that.....
> 
> It's okay......I have many better days ahead



Sometimes we think the Devil we know is better than the one we don't.

But, crap, we know the old one's BS...time for some new BS.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I confess that.........I let someone from my past hurt me again. Wow....and now I'm the garbage because he is backed into a corner.
> 
> I let this happen.....I didn't know but I did know better.........
> 
> Most ironic part is that I am so defensive about letting any new man into my life.....worried he won't treat me the way he should....yet, I allowed this bullshit to happen with an ex. This is in my lap....all on me....my dime. Looks like I haven't made those guys from the past stop kicking me in the head just yet.......
> 
> Why do I run to the same old shit from an ex while petrified of new things? That makes no sense....let some other asshole have a chance, I now say......because those old ones....there is no limit with them, no safety, no familiarity....only thing familiar is the self loathing when it's all said and done.
> 
> I need a ritual....to rid myself of the ghost of past abusive relationships. I need to find a way to fill that empty spot inside of me that keeps letting the exes worm their way in to use/take advantage of me again. I am never in the control that I tell myself I am.
> 
> Life is different from this day forward- one day at a time. I'm going to learn that.....
> 
> It's okay......I have many better days ahead



Sometimes I think we believe that dealing with the crap we know is somehow better than taking a chance on the stuff we don't know.


----------



## olwen

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I confess that.........I let someone from my past hurt me again. Wow....and now I'm the garbage because he is backed into a corner.
> 
> I let this happen.....I didn't know but I did know better.........
> 
> Most ironic part is that I am so defensive about letting any new man into my life.....worried he won't treat me the way he should....yet, I allowed this bullshit to happen with an ex. This is in my lap....all on me....my dime. Looks like I haven't made those guys from the past stop kicking me in the head just yet.......
> 
> Why do I run to the same old shit from an ex while petrified of new things? That makes no sense....let some other asshole have a chance, I now say......because those old ones....there is no limit with them, no safety, no familiarity....only thing familiar is the self loathing when it's all said and done.
> 
> I need a ritual....to rid myself of the ghost of past abusive relationships. I need to find a way to fill that empty spot inside of me that keeps letting the exes worm their way in to use/take advantage of me again. I am never in the control that I tell myself I am.
> 
> Life is different from this day forward- one day at a time. I'm going to learn that.....
> 
> It's okay......I have many better days ahead



Just keep reminding yourself you deserve better. To allow those guys back into your life means allowing them to have power over you that they don't deserve.


----------



## Punkin1024

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I confess that.........I let someone from my past hurt me again. Wow....and now I'm the garbage because he is backed into a corner.
> 
> I let this happen.....I didn't know but I did know better.........
> 
> 
> Life is different from this day forward- one day at a time. I'm going to learn that.....
> 
> It's okay......I have many better days ahead



It is good that you recognized this before you continued on!!! Hang in there, sweetie, you WILL have better days - you are getting better and better with each day. I'm here for you and I know others are too. HUGS and :kiss2:


----------



## mszwebs

I confess I wish I could respond to something that someone said in the BBW Call In thread...but I can't spark a discussion.

I also confess that once again, these Shitty Woman Within Jeans need to be replaced...I bought these in...hmmm...May? Possibly June? And its not the thighs that give out, which is what normally happens...they rip/pull away from the main seam that keeps the pants together, in the crotch and ass.

I currently have DUCT TAPE holding my jeans together until I can afford some new ones. And because the 34's ripped, I went to the 36's...and now these are ripping, so I'm gonna try the 38's.

;F;ZJDFHASJKDFHKSJDKSJDFH


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

BubbleButtBabe said:


> Hugss GEF do not beat yourself up so badly.WE all do it,it is human to go back to what we know..Just keep moving forward and you will change and not accept what was the norm at one time..I wish you luck and I know you can do this!!





Tania said:


> There's no shame in trying to see the best in people. There's also no shame in giving someone a second chance - that was actually very charitable of you.





Jane said:


> Sometimes we think the Devil we know is better than the one we don't.
> 
> But, crap, we know the old one's BS...time for some new BS.





fatgirlflyin said:


> Sometimes I think we believe that dealing with the crap we know is somehow better than taking a chance on the stuff we don't know.





olwen said:


> Just keep reminding yourself you deserve better. To allow those guys back into your life means allowing them to have power over you that they don't deserve.





Punkin1024 said:


> It is good that you recognized this before you continued on!!! Hang in there, sweetie, you WILL have better days - you are getting better and better with each day. I'm here for you and I know others are too. HUGS and :kiss2:




Thank you all for the advice and kind words. It is nice to realize that I'm "not so different" from other people. If that person calls me again (lol, and past experience says he will...) I will tell him I'm taking a restraining order out on him if he doesn't leave me alone. I will get new phone numbers and do whatever it takes to get him out of my life forever. 
I like that I am getting better at "asking for help" too.....if you isolate yourself too much, then that allows these past people to keep coming in while you are down.....or that seems to be my latest and greatest epiphany


----------



## msbard90

i confess that i hate my new haircut


----------



## mergirl

msbard90 said:


> i confess that i hate my new haircut


If i hated my haircut i would hide under a hat until it grew in or i went back to the hairdressers. So you are brave for showing it off!!!
I think it looks nice!


----------



## msbard90

yeah, it looks ok, i guess... but i'm used to having long hair down to my waist, so it's kind of boyish to me... It's not hideous or anything, I just think it looks weird and matronly, and not to mention, boyish.


----------



## Jane

msbard90 said:


> yeah, it looks ok, i guess... but i'm used to having long hair down to my waist, so it's kind of boyish to me... It's not hideous or anything, I just think it looks weird and matronly, and not to mention, boyish.



When I was very young matrons had hair down to their waist and beyond. I grew up in and area with lots of Pentacostal women who didn't believe in cutting their hair.

It was the more free thinking who cut their hair.

I've had mine long and short and in between, and I have found I prefer....hair I don't have to fuck with.


----------



## katherine22

msbard90 said:


> i confess that i hate my new haircut



you and your new hair look great.


----------



## katherine22

butch said:


> IC that life is very very good right now. It feels extra good because I've been diligently working towards holistic well being inside and out, and I am thisclose to the summit. That makes this Labor Day weekend one worth celebrating for my own personal self improvement labor.



I am happy to hear you doing ok.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

msbard90 said:


> yeah, it looks ok, i guess... but i'm used to having long hair down to my waist, so it's kind of boyish to me... It's not hideous or anything, I just think it looks weird and matronly, and not to mention, boyish.



Good grief now I know I'll never post a picture if you think your haircut is boyish or matronly!!! I agree with Jane matronly women in my part of this world wear long hair so they can braid it and put it in a bun,the younger hip women keep it cut and looking fresh..


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I have been so stressed the last few days I have eaten my weight in food..Damnit..


----------



## Dmitra

msbard90 said:


> i confess that i hate my new haircut



MsBard, your hair looks lovely and you're a darling girl. 

I currently have waist-length hair myself but have had all lengths in between it and buzzcut. I remember the weirdness of how it felt centuries ago when I first cut long hair short as I contemplate a similar change now. Give it time and it'll grow on you. *grin*

* * *​
Suppose I should confess something while I'm posting, hmm. IC that I have this _thing_ for forearms. It's really impossible for me to put into words how I feel when I see, say, John Goodman's, or the ones on the guy who plays the husband in Medium. *happy sigh*


----------



## littlefairywren

I confess that I am tired of being lonely and single, sick to death of having to weed out crappy men just to find a good one. I only want one, not greedy at all


----------



## Keb

kmdkml said:


> I confess that I am tired of being lonely and single, sick to death of having to weed out crappy men just to find a good one. I only want one, not greedy at all



*hug* 

IC I feel exactly the same way. 

But today was a good day--the re-repair work on my computer went smoothly, and I looked pretty cute in a nice layered outfit perfect for the cooling weather, and the sunset--ohhhhhhhhh was it ever beautiful, with all the pretty molten golds and glorious layers of clouds one could ask for.


----------



## littlefairywren

Keb said:


> *hug*
> 
> IC I feel exactly the same way.
> 
> But today was a good day--the re-repair work on my computer went smoothly, and I looked pretty cute in a nice layered outfit perfect for the cooling weather, and the sunset--ohhhhhhhhh was it ever beautiful, with all the pretty molten golds and glorious layers of clouds one could ask for.



*hug* right back at you Keb! Your sunset sounds perfect, a definite cheera uppa!!


----------



## Punkin1024

I've been looking forward to this weekend. I'm trying a new color on my hair. If it turns out good, I'll post a picture.


----------



## BbwPennyLane

I confess that I still think about someone all the time...
and I feel I have taken on too much with two jobs, and school and I'm drowning...
HELP!


----------



## luscious_lulu

msbard90 said:


> i confess that i hate my new haircut



Your hair looks awesome. It really suits you and not at all matronly.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Punkin1024 said:


> I've been looking forward to this weekend. I'm trying a new color on my hair. If it turns out good, I'll post a picture.



*waits for picture*


----------



## luscious_lulu

I'm turning 40 on Tuesday and I probably should be freaking out, but I'm ok with it...


----------



## Isa

luscious_lulu said:


> I'm turning 40 on Tuesday and I probably should be freaking out, but I'm ok with it...



Good for you!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

luscious_lulu said:


> I'm turning 40 on Tuesday and I probably should be freaking out, but I'm ok with it...





Isa said:


> Good for you!



Indeed- the 40s are the decade of new strength, IMO  :bow:


----------



## mossystate

This 47 year old woman had a good day. Nothing out of the ordinary happened...not really Just chipped away at some feelings I was having, and my back does not hurt as much, but I know I need to do some serious thinking about getting it stronger....oh, and having one...one comfortable place to sit. Wacky. Got a lot done that I had been ignoring.


----------



## Punkin1024

Good for you Mossy!

I've been spending too much time on Facebook. I thought I'd take a break and catch up on news in here. It's a nice break. I'm glad I stopped by.


----------



## msbard90

i confess that i spend more time on dims than doing my college homework... and its not because i'm lazy... its because college is incredibly easy


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I am a night owl and can't seem to break the habit...


----------



## littlefairywren

I confess that I had cyber sex for the first time, and I feel wicked naughty but oh so good!!
Don't hate me ladies, please!


----------



## mergirl

*Shakes fist* Grrrrr.. stealing all our good cybermen!! 
Good for you! One hand typing can be tricky though!!


----------



## littlefairywren

Ha ha, didn't think of that at first. But must soldier on


----------



## Ruffie

IC that I am shocked and amazed that I have been married 24 years today! I never thought I would get married and have kids and here we are after this many years of a roller coaster ride still together.


----------



## Tad

Ruffie said:


> IC that I am shocked and amazed that I have been married 24 years today! I never thought I would get married and have kids and here we are after this many years of a roller coaster ride still together.



Congrats, Ruffie! I'm out of rep right now, I'll try to have some saved up for your 25th next year!


----------



## Adrian

Ruffie said:


> I never thought I would get married and have kids and here we are after this many years of a roller coaster ride still together.


Ruffie, you are so correct in referring to a long marriage as being a roller coaster ride.


----------



## Teleute

mergirl said:


> *Shakes fist* Grrrrr.. stealing all our good cybermen!!
> Good for you! One hand typing can be tricky though!!











Hey, the "wicked naughty but oh-so-good" feeling is like the best thing ever! No hating here


----------



## mergirl

Teleute said:


> Hey, the "wicked naughty but oh-so-good" feeling is like the best thing ever! No hating here


Tee-hee. I thought that was just a personal joke for geeky me.. and there you go posting pics of what is in my brain. :wubu:


----------



## TraciJo67

Tad said:


> Congrats, Ruffie! I'm out of rep right now, I'll try to have some saved up for your 25th next year!



Got her for both of us, Tad.

Congrats, Ruffie. That is quite an achievement


----------



## fatgirlflyin

TraciJo67 said:


> Got her for both of us, Tad.
> 
> Congrats, Ruffie. That is quite an achievement



I repped her too! 

I hope to one day be able to say I've been married 24 years (to the same person )

Congrats Ruffie!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Ruffie said:


> IC that I am shocked and amazed that I have been married 24 years today! I never thought I would get married and have kids and here we are after this many years of a roller coaster ride still together.



Congrats to you and may you have many more years!!!


----------



## mergirl

TraciJo67 said:


> Got her for both of us, Tad.
> 
> Congrats, Ruffie. That is quite an achievement





fatgirlflyin said:


> I repped her too!
> 
> I hope to one day be able to say I've been married 24 years (to the same person )
> 
> Congrats Ruffie!



I repped her too.. but am too modest to tell everyone!! 
:happy:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

kmdkml said:


> I confess that I had cyber sex for the first time, and I feel wicked naughty but oh so good!!
> Don't hate me ladies, please!



Lol, how do you think I got into writing erotic stories?  

Imaginations shared with an ex e-lover.....:smitten:



Ruffie said:


> IC that I am shocked and amazed that I have been married 24 years today! I never thought I would get married and have kids and here we are after this many years of a roller coaster ride still together.



congratulations!  :bow:


----------



## Tania

IC that I'm at the end of my rope in so many ways. Nothing I ever do/am is apparently enough.


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that I keep wishing I could login to Dimensions at work. But, on the other hand, I don't want to "share" my special haven with anyone at work, including the security manager that monitors internet usage! I'm so frustrated!


----------



## Sugar

IC I wish my overall happiness wasn't so closely tied to quality of my relationship. I'd like to think I can be happy with or without, but I'm not sure I can...


----------



## littlefairywren

Punkin1024 said:


> IC that I keep wishing I could login to Dimensions at work. But, on the other hand, I don't want to "share" my special haven with anyone at work, including the security manager that monitors internet usage! I'm so frustrated!



That is how I see this place too Punkin, like a haven. A little pocket where I can lock out the rest of the world just for a little while.....it is lovely!


----------



## Ruffie

Tania said:


> IC that I'm at the end of my rope in so many ways. Nothing I ever do/am is apparently enough.



I have felt tht way many times in my life girl. I get through it by doing what you just did venting either i a journal or to friends, and then listing what it is I do for people, at work, at school whatever so I can show myself what exactly it is that I accomplish. I have come to realize there are people who will expect more and more as you give to them. I have done my best to get off their treadmill and hope you understand in most cses its them not you!


----------



## Ruffie

Thanks everyone for the anniversary wishes. We have been through alot in the 24 years and thre were a couple of times where I was ready to give it up and I am sure he felt the same. That is why I was amazed bcause with all the onstacles we have evercome we managed to stay together and rebuilt what circumstnces and others tried to tear down. Hence my confession of being amazed. But again I do appreciate the good wishes


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I am spending way to much time on FT...As I said in the FT nerdness thread I have gained 13 ranks in 2 weeks,so that is way to much time...<sighs> I need a life!


----------



## Fat.n.sassy

mergirl said:


> I repped her too.. but am too modest to tell everyone!!
> :happy:



OK, I guess I'm old....what does "rep, repped and repping" refer to? Thanks:blush:


----------



## Fat.n.sassy

I confess that I caught myself judging my daughter (in my head) about her weight and how she looks!  I"m SO glad I didn't say anything out loud. 

I remember getting told many times growing up, "Oh, if you'd only lose 10 (20, 30...) pounds, you'd be just beautiful!" Well I'm certainly not going to do it to her and she is beautiful just the way she is!


----------



## mossystate

Fat.n.sassy said:


> I confess that I caught myself judging my daughter (in my head) about her weight and how she looks!  I"m SO glad I didn't say anything out loud.
> 
> I remember getting told many times growing up, "Oh, if you'd only lose 10 (20, 30...) pounds, you'd be just beautiful!" Well I'm certainly not going to do it to her and she is beautiful just the way she is!



Well, I am going to rep YOU for this post. Rep is what you do if you like what someone has posted. It can be for any reason...it is up to you. Under your picture you will see a scales icon. That is what you click on, if you like the persons post. You get ' points ' for those reps. 

Good for you for not letting her hear what is in your head. Actions can also, of course, give the same message...but that you know you don't want her to think of herself as anything but beautiful...you are way ahead of what so many other parents...moms and dads...do !

I don't have kids, but I know that when my youngest sister starts talking about her body in front of my niece and nephew, I try my best to shut her the hell up.


----------



## Fat.n.sassy

Thanks for letting me know about reps and thanks for the parenting kudos.


----------



## Weeze

Oh. my green eyed monster really is going to rear it's ugly ugly head. 
gah.
keep it to yourself, Kriss. Keep it to yourself.

But seriously. Me? getting jealous over a guy? I've got to be losing it.


----------



## Punkin1024

I'm with Ms. BubbleButtBabe, I spend way too much time on Facebook and not enough time in here. I think it's because I need to unwind at the end of my work day and playing games like YoVille and PetDazzle helps me do that. Plus I love all the lovely colors in all those games. I also confess that I'm a nut for colorful things!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

And that is ok Ms. Punkin because we all need a place we can go to that is peace and quiet!

OOO look at this shiny new pinwheel! ..lol


----------



## Jane

BubbleButtBabe said:


> And that is ok Ms. Punkin because we all need a place we can go to that is peace and quiet!
> 
> OOO look at this shiny new pinwheel! ..lol







My patented Bright, Shiny Object.


----------



## missy_blue_eyez

IC that I have eaten far too much pizza this week and am actually feeling pretty greasy and a bit vile! Im all pizza'd out man!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Jane said:


> My patented Bright, Shiny Object.




LOL She might give you the farm for that little trinket!


----------



## Blackjack

missy_blue_eyez said:


> far too much pizza



I am unfamiliar with this concept.


----------



## Visceria

IC I want to get an eyebrow piercing. But I caught myself worrying about putting it on the "gay" side. >_> My friend had to explain that was something about earrings, and that I am an an f'ing idiot for worrying about that.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Visceria said:


> IC I want to get an eyebrow piercing. But I caught myself worrying about putting it on the "gay" side. >_> My friend had to explain that was something about earrings, and that I am an an f'ing idiot for worrying about that.



That was just an eighties thing for guys who got their ears pierced. Now there is no such thing as the gay side.


----------



## QueenAnnieTune

IC that for the first time in my life I got "pleased" while driving  and I LOVED every moment of it :happy:


----------



## Cors

QueenAnnieTune said:


> IC that for the first time in my life I got "pleased" while driving  and I LOVED every moment of it :happy:



Isn't this illegal?


----------



## EllorionsDarlingAngel

QueenAnnieTune said:


> IC that for the first time in my life I got "pleased" while driving  and I LOVED every moment of it :happy:


LOL OMG you are too funny! never had that done but have done that to someone.


----------



## Cors

Wow. I can see how that is "hot" in an ideal world but really? Doing something so irresponsible and flaunting it in a public forum?


----------



## TraciJo67

QueenAnnieTune said:


> IC that for the first time in my life I got "pleased" while driving  and I LOVED every moment of it :happy:



So, what you're saying is, we need to watch out for more than just the elderly drivers in Florida? 

I'm with Cors on this one, QueenAnnie. Getting 'pleased' while driving is the same as texting while driving, yelling into a cell phone while driving, eating or shaving or putting on mascara or doing anything but, well ... driving ... while driving ... in that it is dangerous to you and to everyone else on the road.


----------



## mossystate

_ You can't please everybody, you got to please yourself._


lalalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


----------



## QueenAnnieTune

Cors said:


> Wow. I can see how that is "hot" in an ideal world but really? Doing something so irresponsible and flaunting it in a public forum?



Your 100% right, I don't know if it illegal, but diffidently irresponsible. I wasn't trying to flaunt it, it was just my confession. Although I did enjoy it's not something I would do again and I am not telling anyone else to do it.


----------



## QueenAnnieTune

TraciJo67 said:


> So, what you're saying is, we need to watch out for more than just the elderly drivers in Florida?
> 
> I'm with Cors on this one, QueenAnnie. Getting 'pleased' while driving is the same as texting while driving, yelling into a cell phone while driving, eating or shaving or putting on mascara or doing anything but, well ... driving ... while driving ... in that it is dangerous to you and to everyone else on the road.



Yep I agree with you and her. 
Just for the record I don't do any of the things you listed, I don't know what possessed me to allow this to happen. But it did happen and thankfully no one was hurt. Again not proud of what I did, it was just my confession.


----------



## mossystate

Annie....don't beat yourself up about it. This is the place to confess stuff...and, yeah, there will be feedback. I am sure most drivers do stupid things.


----------



## Visceria

luscious_lulu said:


> That was just an eighties thing for guys who got their ears pierced. Now there is no such thing as the gay side.



Hence the 'clearly I am an idiot.'
I was raised in a weird semi-conservative home so theres a huge feeling that I would be an idiot to get a piercing like that in the first place. So even though I feel it would give me some amusement to walk around with a piece of metal on my face (truly, I would find it kind of bad ass) I'd be scared to get one.... in addition to or causing stupid worries like the 'gay side' and somewhere I heard you can get mad hatter's disease from piercings but I'm 100% sure that was mercury and that person was high on something when they were talking to me. 

Yeah. I'm gullible.


----------



## littlefairywren

I can't work out if this is a confession or a gripe lol - oh well

IC that I miss spooning so much it makes me ache


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I confess that I have never really liked being spooned that much....I tend to like doing the spooning usually. Also, I don't always feel affectionate after sex. Not sure if that's a good or bad sign of anything.....


----------



## Jane

littlefairywren said:


> I can't work out if this is a confession or a gripe lol - oh well
> 
> IC that I miss spooning so much it makes me ache



That's why they make those great big pillows. One on each side, and it's some kind of "back in someone's arms" thing. Also, you don't have to pick up pillow's dirty underwear.


----------



## Crystal

littlefairywren said:


> I can't work out if this is a confession or a gripe lol - oh well
> 
> IC that I miss spooning so much it makes me ache





Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I confess that I have never really liked being spooned that much....I tend to like doing the spooning usually. Also, I don't always feel affectionate after sex. Not sure if that's a good or bad sign of anything.....




IC that I'm not a huge fan of spooning, either. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with my plus-sizeness, but it's uncomfortable for me. I just don't like it. After sex, I'd much rather lay on my side next to him, with him on his back, and cuddle up to his chest.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

CrystalUT11 said:


> IC that I'm not a huge fan of spooning, either. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with my plus-sizeness, but it's uncomfortable for me. I just don't like it. After sex, I'd much rather lay on my side next to him, with him on his back, and cuddle up to his chest.



That's works for me, too....for a while anyway.....


----------



## Teleute

IC that I'm like ten kinds of idiot today :doh: I need to step away from the computer until I can learn to actually read threads all the way through before barging in and posting something dumb. Grr at myself.


----------



## littlefairywren

Jane said:


> That's why they make those great big pillows. One on each side, and it's some kind of "back in someone's arms" thing. Also, you don't have to pick up pillow's dirty underwear.



Ooh I like the sound of that pillow, I have a bit of a pillow fetish so I could add another to my collection........ I DO NOT miss picking up the dirty underwear, that is for sure!!


----------



## archivaltype

I confess that I'm really angry at people I shouldn't *really* be mad at and that I've been listening to Adele's 'Melt My Heart to Stone' for the past like...15 hours. Give or take a little.


----------



## mszwebs

***NEWSFLASH***

I was just told we're only fat if our stomachs extend out further than our bustline.


Carry on...
While I stand for the rest of my life...


----------



## mszwebs

Monique...

IC that when I said COVER ME, I did not mean leave chat.

Perhaps I was unclear?

So Sorry...


----------



## Tania

mszwebs said:


> ***NEWSFLASH***
> 
> I was just told we're only fat if our stomachs extend out further than our bustline.



Even if one's butt terminates two counties away? Haha.


----------



## mszwebs

Tania said:


> Even if one's butt terminates two counties away? Haha.



There was nothing about the bootay...this is clearly determined by the boobage.

Clearly.

haha


----------



## Sugar

mszwebs said:


> Monique...
> 
> IC that when I said COVER ME, I did not mean leave chat.
> 
> Perhaps I was unclear?
> 
> So Sorry...



Then I'm the fattest girl on the board. My B cups have no chance against the belly known as Guadalupe.


----------



## Friday

mszwebs said:


> There was nothing about the bootay...this is clearly determined by the boobage.
> 
> Clearly.
> 
> haha



Musta been a tit man (or woman)


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

I hardly ever wake up in a bad mood..Most of my family doesn't..Now for my confession..

IC I woke up so mad this morning that I wanted to smash the coffee maker for being so slow..I was angry for half the day..


----------



## Jane

BubbleButtBabe said:


> I hardly ever wake up in a bad mood..Most of my family doesn't..Now for my confession..
> 
> IC I woke up so mad this morning that I wanted to smash the coffee maker for being so slow..I was angry for half the day..



I have actually written an email that said "I am pissed at you because of a dream. I'll get over it. If I bitch at you, so be it. Yeah, I know the dream was in my head."

He understood.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

I bet he went WTH at first...LOL


----------



## Sugar

BubbleButtBabe said:


> I bet he went WTH at first...LOL



And then said...I better say I understand or there will be hell to pay. LOL


IC that 9 hours of actual sleep has turned me from a chupacabra back into Sarah. :happy:


----------



## Jane

Nope, he actually understands. Strange, huh?


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that I wish I had as nice a wardrobe for real as I do in YoVille!! Everything fits in there! LOL! I've got a luncheon tomorrow with the big cheese and other employees that have been with the company 5, 10, 15 years, and I don't know what to wear! Argh!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

I bet anything you choose will look great..


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Jane said:


> Nope, he actually understands. Strange, huh?



Does he happen to walk on water too?...LOL If he does I wanna meet this man that understands!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Punkin1024 said:


> IC that I wish I had as nice a wardrobe for real as I do in YoVille!! Everything fits in there! LOL! I've got a luncheon tomorrow with the big cheese and other employees that have been with the company 5, 10, 15 years, and I don't know what to wear! Argh!



Wear what you feel happiest in (or had your happiest moment in). You'll feel happy, and your beauty will shine though because of that.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

IC that I see gorgeous clothes online that would fit me a lot better, wish I could have some, but don't have the money.  I've found nothing like them at stores (and for a lesser price) that would fit well, not fall apart in one season, and be in my size.


----------



## Jane

BubbleButtBabe said:


> Does he happen to walk on water too?...LOL If he does I wanna meet this man that understands!



He's just as moody as I am...THAT's why he understands.

Of course, I tell him I don't have to put up with his moods, but he has to put up with mine. It doesn't work, but I say it.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

IC it's my birthday today . My mom didn't even wish me a happy birthday or even give me a card <whining>. No presents, no special dinner, no cake, nothing. <more whining> I hate my birthdays.  I'm trying to keep my spirits up though.

IC I've been confessing a lot


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

I am so sorry no special things for your birthday..Some times you have to forgive parents we mess up without meaning to!! 

Happy Birthday!!!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I do not want to walk with my brother every day but I will do it because he needs me to...


----------



## Punkin1024

You're a good sister, BubbleButt Babe!

IC that I only have time for posting in here today. Thank goodness for Friday -This weekend is catch up time!


----------



## Crystal

IC that I have never been more relieved to be surfing the crimson wave.


----------



## Tania

CrystalUT11 said:


> IC that I have never been more relieved to be surfing the crimson wave.



I KNOW THIS FEELING WELL.

I have been so paranoid lately I promised myself I'd fill my Yasmin prescription post-drain. I did, and now I'm thrilled to experience the joys of pill nausea. ;D


----------



## Crystal

Tania said:


> I KNOW THIS FEELING WELL.
> 
> I have been so paranoid lately I promised myself I'd fill my Yasmin prescription post-drain. I did, and now I'm thrilled to experience the joys of pill nausea. ;D



Amen.

The BC pack I'm currently starting is the last one on this prescription, so I better be making a trip to the gyno to have a new prescription filled.

Gahh, this morning, when I felt that all too familiar nauseous feeling, I sighed with relief. I didn't even have to go to the bathroom to know. 

...it was strange.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

BubbleButtBabe said:


> I am so sorry no special things for your birthday..Some times you have to forgive parents we mess up without meaning to!!
> 
> Happy Birthday!!!



Thank you BBB


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

You are very welcome hon...

IC I love those granny gifts on FB..I laugh every time I send one and every time I get one..Those are hilarious!! Of course I have a couple friends that do not like em and are a bit pissed at me for sending them plastic panties..ROFL!!!


----------



## Punkin1024

Hey, some of those "granny gifts" are good stuff! LOL! Take the holiday themed sweatshirts - I happen to like them. So,  if people think that's granny of me. I'm not a granny - never had kids, but I am a great-aunt! Still not used to that notion! LOL!

IC that I'm having a tough time finding affordable tops that are work appropriate. Sigh! Oh to be rich and carefree!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

I'll share my chickadee with you Ella! She is more then enough for 5 Grannys!!LOL

What kind of tops are you looking for? Give me an idea and I will look..


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Punkin1024 said:


> You're a good sister, BubbleButt Babe!
> 
> IC that I only have time for posting in here today. Thank goodness for Friday -This weekend is catch up time!



Thank you Ella..I try to be!


----------



## Punkin1024

BubbleButtBabe said:


> I'll share my chickadee with you Ella! She is more then enough for 5 Grannys!!LOL
> 
> What kind of tops are you looking for? Give me an idea and I will look..



Thanks, sugar. I'd appreciate any help. My usual go-to website is Woman Within. I used to like Roaman's too, but most of their fashions nowadays are too casual or not in my size range (4X, 36W in Woman Within - petite if I can find 'em).

I prefer tunic length (30") print tops/shells. I also prefer cotton knit or knit because those fabrics have more "give" for my belly when I sit down. I have a color preference too! I prefer warm tones: browns, ivory, corals, olive green, sage green, rust. I don't own anything black, grey or white. One of my friends from church gave me a lovely yellow gold purse with a lime green wallet. Love it - now I'm gonna have to find something in yellow gold! Sigh!


----------



## littlefairywren

IC there is someone who is always in my thoughts and I wish he would leave my memories, and the hurt would leave with him.....god it would be so much easier if he was not so perfect:doh:


----------



## mossystate

Went to a store this morning. 

I saw lots of Christmas decorations being put up for sale.


It made me happy and sad. I liked that I saw it.


----------



## olwen

littlefairywren said:


> IC there is someone who is always in my thoughts and I wish he would leave my memories, and the hurt would leave with him.....god it would be so much easier if he was not so perfect:doh:



I'm gonna take a guess and say that if he hurt you he ain't perfect.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Good point!


----------



## Keb

IC this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcx9cZEqP1U has had me feeling dancy all day long. 

Wouldn't it be nice if the guy I eventually wind up with is thinking this to himself tonight?


----------



## littlefairywren

olwen said:


> I'm gonna take a guess and say that if he hurt you he ain't perfect.



Thanks olwen, I did not look at it from that angle. It helps


----------



## Sugar

Keb said:


> IC this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcx9cZEqP1U has had me feeling dancy all day long.
> 
> Wouldn't it be nice if the guy I eventually wind up with is thinking this to himself tonight?



IC that Keb is my new BFF for letting me know that Mr. Buble' has new music coming out!

*bobs head to music*

:happy:


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I love Fall weather..It just makes me hurt all over!


----------



## Tania

IC that I'm ADD and also a tad OCD, which taken together makes for a lot of frustration. I'm completely analretentive about certain things, which is hell when I can't concentrate or successfully "tunnelvision" myself.

Like my costumes. A friend and I are doing an arts workshop in Niles this month, then we're going to a regency ball held by the historic dance group for which we both served on the planning board/committee like ten years ago. All of my pretty regency clothes are still too small for me and I don't have the time, energy, money, or focus to put together a snazzy new period ballgown in time - so I'm wigging about not being dressed properly. Now, the group is mostly old friends and our dress code has never been strict - no one will judge. But I still feel icky about not fitting the period theme quite right (It's a Goya-themed ball, so Spanish lace is acceptable...I'm going in a 1940s black lace ensemble). 

 I feel like I need to fix it but I can't!!!!!


----------



## Teleute

Tania said:


> IC that I'm ADD and also a tad OCD, which taken together makes for a lot of frustration. I'm completely analretentive about certain things, which is hell when I can't concentrate or successfully "tunnelvision" myself.
> 
> Like my costumes. A friend and I are doing an arts workshop in Niles this month, then we're going to a regency ball held by the historic dance group for which we both served on the planning board/committee like ten years ago. All of my pretty regency clothes are still too small for me and I don't have the time, energy, money, or focus to put together a snazzy new period ballgown in time - so I'm wigging about not being dressed properly. Now, the group is mostly old friends and our dress code has never been strict - no one will judge. But I still feel icky about not fitting the period theme quite right (It's a Goya-themed ball, so Spanish lace is acceptable...I'm going in a 1940s black lace ensemble).
> 
> I feel like I need to fix it but I can't!!!!!



I KNOW THAT EXACT FEELING. God. Sooooooooo familiar...

Edit: Oh, and IC that today I was SO scattered leaving the house. Went back in like 3 times for my badge and purse and stuff. And I totally forgot to put on deodorant. >_> I'ma have to swipe some of the lavender-scented hand lotion that's in the bathroom to cover up a little. :blush:


----------



## littlefairywren

Teleute said:


> I KNOW THAT EXACT FEELING. God. Sooooooooo familiar...
> 
> Edit: Oh, and IC that today I was SO scattered leaving the house. Went back in like 3 times for my badge and purse and stuff. *And I totally forgot to put on deodorant*. >_> I'ma have to swipe some of the lavender-scented hand lotion that's in the bathroom to cover up a little. :blush:



God, don't you just hate that when you realise! Of course you always remember when half the time you are totally stuck without any way of borrowing some or buying any:doh:


----------



## Crystal

IC that I want this turquoise dress ($17.99) from ON so badly I can taste it. I've been trying to find a nice knee-length dress that's appropriate for fall and would look great with a cardigan. 

But...I've spent entirely too much money this semester already, and it's barely October. I do NOT need to spend any money on unnecessary things...but gahh! I've been looking for the perfect dress and this is it. And it's only $18.

No, Crystal. No.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Edit: Oh, and IC that today I was SO scattered leaving the house. Went back in like 3 times for my badge and purse and stuff. And I totally forgot to put on deodorant. >_> I'ma have to swipe some of the lavender-scented hand lotion that's in the bathroom to cover up a little. :blush:[/QUOTE]




How about buying one of the travel sized deodorants and keeping it in your purse or in your desk??


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

CrystalUT11 said:


> IC that I want this turquoise dress ($17.99) from ON so badly I can taste it. I've been trying to find a nice knee-length dress that's appropriate for fall and would look great with a cardigan.
> 
> But...I've spent entirely too much money this semester already, and it's barely October. I do NOT need to spend any money on unnecessary things...but gahh! I've been looking for the perfect dress and this is it. And it's only $18.
> 
> No, Crystal. No.





IC: I'm not a good influence.


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that I'm so excited, it's almost October! My favorite month of the year. Now all I gotta do is buy more Autumn clothes! Woohoo! :happy:


----------



## butch

Punkin1024 said:


> IC that I'm so excited, it's almost October! My favorite month of the year. Now all I gotta do is buy more Autumn clothes! Woohoo! :happy:



Me too, Punkin! I finally feel Autumn in the air, and it makes me so happy!


----------



## Fluffy51888

IC that I had more fun at the Children's Museum Saturday than my two little cousins did. 

Oh, and I also confess that this is my 100th post! Yay!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I am angry..Not real sure why yet but I am very very angry..


----------



## mergirl

Visceria said:


> IC I want to get an eyebrow piercing. But I caught myself worrying about putting it on the "gay" side. >_> My friend had to explain that was something about earrings, and that I am an an f'ing idiot for worrying about that.


There is a 'gay' side?? Hmm.. maby this is an American thing.. i have never heard of it. I used to have many piercings on both sides, which of course ment i was a bi-sexual slut.
:happy:


----------



## Dmitra

mergirl said:


> There is a 'gay' side?? Hmm.. maby this is an American thing.. i have never heard of it. I used to have many piercings on both sides, which of course ment i was a bi-sexual slut.
> :happy:



I dunno if it was just us nutty Americans but in the late '70s and '80s if a guy wore a single earring in his right ear he was supposed to be gay. And I seem to vaguely remember if a guy wore an earring at all before then he was a sailor who'd crossed the equator, a gypsy or crazy! haha Dang I'm old.

Anyway, thinking about that made me think about the hankie codes, too. I'm obviously awake waaay too early today. *sighs*


----------



## mergirl

DameQ said:


> I dunno if it was just us nutty Americans but in the late '70s and '80s if a guy wore a single earring in his right ear he was supposed to be gay. And I seem to vaguely remember if a guy wore an earring at all before then he was a sailor who'd crossed the equator, a gypsy or crazy! haha Dang I'm old.
> 
> Anyway, thinking about that made me think about the hankie codes, too. I'm obviously awake waaay too early today. *sighs*


Oh yeah!! lol. I remember reading about the handkerchief secret codes.. I guess they are not needed as much now that gay culture is becoming more acceptable. Hmm.. it would be interesting to have a gay history thread on the lgbt forum and include stuff like this.


----------



## Jane

American fucking-homophobia.


----------



## mergirl

Jane said:


> American fucking-homophobia.


*Would like to watch America and homophobia fucking* 
Can you watch a country and a form of bigotry making love?? 
I imagine it would be like a scene from "My beautiful Laundrette"!!


----------



## Jane

mergirl said:


> *Would like to watch America and homophobia fucking*
> Can you watch a country and a form of bigotry making love??
> I imagine it would be like a scene from "My beautiful Laundrette"!!



Remember, it's American...so it could be a Midnight Cowboy meets the back room at Studio 51/My Own Private Idaho/Laundrette thingee.


----------



## littlefairywren

IC I am so nervous I have butterflies in my belly. I have a date with a new guy tomorrow and then another on the day after.....It happened so quickly too


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> IC I am so nervous I have butterflies in my belly. I have a date with a new guy tomorrow and then another on the day after.....It happened so quickly too



Good luck!!!!!


----------



## Inhibited

littlefairywren said:


> IC I am so nervous I have butterflies in my belly. I have a date with a new guy tomorrow and then another on the day after.....It happened so quickly too





MizzSnakeBite said:


> Good luck!!!!!



Goodluck from me as well, let us know how it all went.


----------



## archivaltype

littlefairywren said:


> IC I am so nervous I have butterflies in my belly. I have a date with a new guy tomorrow and then another on the day after.....It happened so quickly too



Good luck girlie! :happy:

IC that I'm really tired of thinking I've gotten over it and then it hits me like a ton of bricks when I realize I haven't. :doh:

Oh well. I also confess that I'm diggin the idea of some retail therapy right now.


----------



## littlefairywren

Thanks MizzSnakeBite, Inhibited and archivaltype!
Ha, well my belly full of butterflies came to nothing. The peckerhead stood me up lol. But like they say when one door closes a window opens. Someone else has asked me out so fingers crossed he might be half decent


----------



## littlefairywren

archivaltype said:


> Good luck girlie! :happy:
> 
> *IC that I'm really tired of thinking I've gotten over it and then it hits me like a ton of bricks when I realize I haven't. :doh:*
> 
> Oh well. I also confess that I'm diggin the idea of some retail therapy right now.



Hun, I know how you feel.....big hugs ((((archivaltype))))


----------



## archivaltype

littlefairywren said:


> Hun, I know how you feel.....big hugs ((((archivaltype))))




Thank you. Hugs to you, too. :happy:

I'm sorry you got stood up. Most men are inherently jerks.  
But...Yay! Good luck on your next one! I admire your positivity.


----------



## Punkin1024

I finally went shopping on-line this weekend and bought some new tops for work. I found a few things on clearance at Woman Within that I had been eyeing since late August - so I was pretty tickled to get them 60% off! Now I can hardly wait till the stuff arrives. :happy:


----------



## superodalisque

mergirl said:


> *Would like to watch America and homophobia fucking*
> Can you watch a country and a form of bigotry making love??
> I imagine it would be like a scene from "My beautiful Laundrette"!!



you haven't seen the playboy channel have you?

"ghetto booty v country hick dick"

*did not say that*


----------



## littlefairywren

archivaltype said:


> Thank you. Hugs to you, too. :happy:
> 
> I'm sorry you got stood up. Most men are inherently jerks.
> But...Yay! Good luck on your next one! *I admire your positivity*.



Sometimes easier said then done.....gotta try anyway. Either that or search him out and give him a good blow to the head lol


----------



## Saoirse

CrystalUT11 said:


> IC that I have never been more relieved to be surfing the crimson wave.



Been there! My ex was super-duper-paranoid about getting me pregnant. We ALWAYS used protection, but that didn't stopped him from asking me daily if I'd gotten my period... which in turn would stress me out and make it late!


----------



## mossystate

Saoirse said:


> Been there! My ex was super-duper-paranoid about getting me pregnant. We ALWAYS used protection, but that didn't stopped him from asking me daily if I'd gotten my period... which in turn would stress me out and make it late!



Ugh. Should have suggested he get a vasectomy. Bet that would have shut him up for at least a week. :happy:


----------



## Tania

IC that I just OCDed myself into another anxiety attack.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I confess I'm feeling like dropping that nice fireman I have been dating lately.....:blink:

I also confess that I had a coupon for bath and body works and the nice cashier had another one I could use with it.....so on top of the less than half price body butters I got, I also received a free scented candle and free orangy scented hair conditioner.


----------



## littlefairywren

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I confess I'm feeling like dropping that nice fireman I have been dating lately.....:blink:
> 
> I also confess that I had a coupon for bath and body works and the nice cashier had another one I could use with it.....so on top of the less than half price body butters I got, I also received a free scented candle and free orangy scented hair conditioner.



Sorry about your fireman GEF
But yay for nice smelly stuff!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> Thanks MizzSnakeBite, Inhibited and archivaltype!
> Ha, well my belly full of butterflies came to nothing. The peckerhead stood me up lol. But like they say when one door closes a window opens. Someone else has asked me out so fingers crossed he might be half decent



What a jerk!!!!  Just be a man and call and cancel. Yeah, you'll probably get some not so nice words thrown at you, but at least you'll be known as the one that at least called.

Well, good luck, break a leg, can't think of anything else lol.


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> What a jerk!!!!  Just be a man and call and cancel. Yeah, you'll probably get some not so nice words thrown at you, but at least you'll be known as the one that at least called.
> 
> Well, good luck, break a leg, can't think of anything else lol.



Thanks for that. I called but no response....go figure. Yes he is a jerk.
Oh well, they can't be all bad. I hope


----------



## mergirl

superodalisque said:


> you haven't seen the playboy channel have you?
> 
> "ghetto booty v country hick dick"
> 
> *did not say that*


hahahahahaha.. i ver near spat my water all over my laptop!!! 
*Goes to video shop* 
Hmm actually, why do we still call them video shops when they only sell dvds??
or is it just me that does that?


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

I have two confessions..

1) I really really dislike chocolate..I hate how it looks and how it smells is horrible..I gag every time I make my lil chickadee some chocolate milk..ewww

2) I hate being sick because I am not a good patient..I wanna be babied and no one around to baby me!


----------



## luscious_lulu

mergirl said:


> hahahahahaha.. i ver near spat my water all over my laptop!!!
> *Goes to video shop*
> Hmm actually, why do we still call them video shops when they only sell dvds??
> or is it just me that does that?




DVD = Digital Video Disc (also known as digital versatile disc) so video store still applies...


----------



## mossystate

BubbleButtBabe said:


> I have two confessions..
> 
> 1) I really really dislike chocolate..I hate how it looks and how it smells is horrible..I gag every time I make my lil chickadee some chocolate milk..ewww
> 
> 2) I hate being sick because I am not a good patient..I wanna be babied and no one around to baby me!



1) You are a crazy woman!!

2) I should be there. As I have gotten older, I am more comfortable in asking for ' stuff ' when I am sick....but I really shine when someone else is sick. I love being one step ahead of what the ill person wants/needs. It's like all my senses are on point. I knew you wanted that orange juice, while you were still napping.  It does suck to not get that....I hear you.


----------



## rainyday

Feel better, Bubble.

IC that ever since the weather turned cooler I am STARVING every few hours, BUT at the same time my appetite's gone down and I don't actually feel like eating as much. What's up with that? I'm getting annoyed at having to go shove something down my gullet just to get my stomach to quit screaming, especially when I'm busy doing something else.


----------



## Aust99

IC that I had a really good first date tonight... think I officially have a crush!!:smitten:


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I confess I'm feeling like dropping that nice fireman I have been dating lately.....:blink:
> 
> I also confess that I had a coupon for bath and body works and the nice cashier had another one I could use with it.....so on top of the less than half price body butters I got, I also received a free scented candle and free orangy scented hair conditioner.



Oh that's too bad! You can send him my way. 

I'm soooooooooooooo jealous!!! I LOVE Bath and Body Works! How did you get the coupons???? That was so nice of the cashier!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> Thanks for that. I called but no response....go figure. Yes he is a jerk.
> Oh well, they can't be all bad. I hope



Oh, so he's a coward as well.

Yeah, they all can't be bad.......it just seems like the good ones are taken or just not into you <sigh>.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Aust99 said:


> IC that I had a really good first date tonight... think I officially have a crush!!:smitten:



Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

IC I've gained some weight . I'm not wanting to gain weight. Then, I get a lecture from the doctor about losing weight.  I get this lecture every time, even when I lose weight. I know my body cannot keep up at this weight, but do I really need to hear her lecture every single month?  I eat more when I'm stressed, and her constant harping makes me stressed. I wish there were fat acceptance doctors around here. Texas seems to be in short supply of them. 

IC that we just found out that my mom's identity was stolen. Someone had a laptop with all the employees information, and it was stolen...... The school district has hired a company to try to fix it.

IC that I got some shots into my head. They're very painful. :really sad: I could hear the crunching of the membranes as the needle was shoved in harder (it's hard to get through the membranes and where she wants to put the anesthetic). I feel like I've been run over. Thank gawd for pain medication.

IC I'm in a bad mood.

IC I think I'm done confessing for now


----------



## mergirl

luscious_lulu said:


> DVD = Digital Video Disc (also known as digital versatile disc) so video store still applies...


Ahhhh yes.. Tad informed me of this...so its old news! 
I'm glad because 'video shop' just sounds good.


----------



## littlefairywren

Aust99 said:


> IC that I had a really good first date tonight... think I officially have a crush!!:smitten:



Woo hoo! Good luck


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> IC I've gained some weight . I'm not wanting to gain weight. Then, I get a lecture from the doctor about losing weight.  I get this lecture every time, even when I lose weight. I know my body cannot keep up at this weight, but do I really need to hear her lecture every single month?  I eat more when I'm stressed, and her constant harping makes me stressed. I wish there were fat acceptance doctors around here. Texas seems to be in short supply of them.
> 
> IC that we just found out that my mom's identity was stolen. Someone had a laptop with all the employees information, and it was stolen...... The school district has hired a company to try to fix it.
> 
> IC that I got some shots into my head. They're very painful. :really sad: I could hear the crunching of the membranes as the needle was shoved in harder (it's hard to get through the membranes and where she wants to put the anesthetic). I feel like I've been run over. Thank gawd for pain medication.
> 
> IC I'm in a bad mood.
> 
> IC I think I'm done confessing for now



Big cuddly hugs for you ((((MizzSnakeBite))))
Sorry things are bad


----------



## Jane

MizzSnakeBite said:


> IC I've gained some weight . I'm not wanting to gain weight. Then, I get a lecture from the doctor about losing weight.  I get this lecture every time, even when I lose weight. I know my body cannot keep up at this weight, but do I really need to hear her lecture every single month?  I eat more when I'm stressed, and her constant harping makes me stressed. I wish there were fat acceptance doctors around here. Texas seems to be in short supply of them.



Please understand that legally they have to do this. If they don't talk with you about your weight, they are not providing complete advise. Mine just looks at me now and goes...Weight...and I say, "I know." And he says, "Glad that's over."


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

mossystate said:


> 1) You are a crazy woman!!
> 
> 2) I should be there. As I have gotten older, I am more comfortable in asking for ' stuff ' when I am sick....but I really shine when someone else is sick. I love being one step ahead of what the ill person wants/needs. It's like all my senses are on point. I knew you wanted that orange juice, while you were still napping.  It does suck to not get that....I hear you.



Naw I not crazy,I just not like chocolate..Everyone around me does tho,so I smell it a lot...ewwwww LOL

Thank you it would have been appreciated! Yeah I miss being babied when I need it..LOL Even old women wanna be treated good!

There was no one here to ask..I live with just my lil old doggie and she is blind so she couldn't help...I muddled through..I still do not have my days and nights straight..


----------



## luscious_lulu

MizzSnakeBite said:


> IC I've gained some weight . I'm not wanting to gain weight. Then, I get a lecture from the doctor about losing weight.  I get this lecture every time, even when I lose weight. I know my body cannot keep up at this weight, but do I really need to hear her lecture every single month?  I eat more when I'm stressed, and her constant harping makes me stressed. I wish there were fat acceptance doctors around here. Texas seems to be in short supply of them.
> 
> IC that we just found out that my mom's identity was stolen. Someone had a laptop with all the employees information, and it was stolen...... The school district has hired a company to try to fix it.
> 
> IC that I got some shots into my head. They're very painful. :really sad: I could hear the crunching of the membranes as the needle was shoved in harder (it's hard to get through the membranes and where she wants to put the anesthetic). I feel like I've been run over. Thank gawd for pain medication.
> 
> IC I'm in a bad mood.
> 
> IC I think I'm done confessing for now



Have you tried talking to your doctor about how her lectures make you feel? If she doesn't know she can't correct or adjust the behaviour...


----------



## Aust99

IC I had a second date with that guy, went really well. Lots of flirting and fun but no kiss.... I think he is shy but I really wanted too.....


----------



## Gingembre

IC that I don't visit this part of Dims nearly often enough. IC that I will work on this.


----------



## mergirl

IC-The nozzel on the bottle of feminine hygine wash in my shower looks suspiciously like the end of a knob!! Seriously!! Fucking hetrocentric goddam world of feminine hygine products!!!  LMAO
Seriously though..i wish you could see this..PLUS you kinna have to 'wank' the top off befote it will squirt out!! 

IC-I wish i had something more highbrow to contribute to this thread.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Jane said:


> Please understand that legally they have to do this. If they don't talk with you about your weight, they are not providing complete advise. Mine just looks at me now and goes...Weight...and I say, "I know." And he says, "Glad that's over."



Yeah, I know. I would be ok with it if she talked about it for just a certain period of time........not the entire time (literally). I'll be trying to ask her a question about something, and she'll just continue on...... 

In a normal situation, I'd find a new dr, but she's an excellent pain dr that really knows what she's doing...and that's hard to find.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> Have you tried talking to your doctor about how her lectures make you feel? If she doesn't know she can't correct or adjust the behaviour...



That's one of the problems. She won't shut up long enough for me to say anything. I'm going to try again.

Other than that, she's an excellent dr. She really knows what she's doing, and that is hard to find in a pain dr. Plus, pain management isn't a large field in medicine.


----------



## Jane

MizzSnakeBite said:


> That's one of the problems. She won't shut up long enough for me to say anything. I'm going to try again.
> 
> Other than that, she's an excellent dr. She really knows what she's doing, and that is hard to find in a pain dr. Plus, pain management isn't a large field in medicine.



Write out what you want to say to her about this, and hand it to her to read. They will read before they will listen.


----------



## littlefairywren

Aust99 said:


> IC I had a second date with that guy, went really well. Lots of flirting and fun but no kiss.... I think he is shy but I really wanted too.....



Oooh sounds promising....just plant one on him


----------



## Aust99

littlefairywren said:


> Oooh sounds promising....just plant one on him


 ha ha.. I think I will have to.... so should it be kiss hello or goodbye?? 
IC i'm confused about these things... lol


----------



## mossystate

Jane said:


> Write out what you want to say to her about this, and hand it to her to read. They will read before they will listen.



This. 

....


----------



## littlefairywren

Aust99 said:


> ha ha.. I think I will have to.... so should it be kiss hello or goodbye??
> IC i'm confused about these things... lol



mmm, how about both
But the one goodbye should be the sweetest!!

I get confused too, but I just get impatient and dive in lol


----------



## littlefairywren

IC that an old family friend is in hospital and in a very bad way. His first wife died of cancer and last year so did his second wife.

I think he has given up the will to live. He is the sweetest man and to lose him would be so sad


----------



## ashmamma84

IC while out and about I saw the prettiest, fattest baby. She was so happy and bouncy -- and it made me think about starting a family. Sometimes I really feel maternal and wonder what life will be like when my partner and I have a housefull of big beautiful kids...

And then reality smacks me. So much to do before any of that can take place. *sigh*


----------



## Tania

IC that my life is more "Nights of Cabiria" than "Sex and the City" lately.


----------



## littlefairywren

littlefairywren said:


> IC that an old family friend is in hospital and in a very bad way. His first wife died of cancer and last year so did his second wife.
> 
> I think he has given up the will to live. He is the sweetest man and to lose him would be so sad



IC that we need to remember how much we love our friends and family. Life can be so short.

Keith died this morning, alone


----------



## Crystal

littlefairywren said:


> IC that we need to remember how much we love our friends and family. Life can be so short.
> 
> Keith died this morning, alone



Hopefully, he's much happier wherever he now may be.


----------



## Friday

He's not alone anymore Wren.


----------



## Punkin1024

littlefairywren said:


> IC that we need to remember how much we love our friends and family. Life can be so short.
> 
> Keith died this morning, alone



He may have been alone physically, but your thoughts were with him. And, like Friday said, he's not alone now.


----------



## BBW4Chattery

littlefairywren said:


> IC that we need to remember how much we love our friends and family. Life can be so short.
> 
> Keith died this morning, alone




Hugs and prayers.


----------



## littlefairywren

Thanks ladies, very kind words....they help more than you know.


----------



## Tania

I'm very sorry about your friend.


----------



## Punkin1024

Okay, I confess it's time for bed. Just had to pop in here if only for a few minutes. I further confess I will attempt to be in here longer today! It's 1:00 a.m. here in Texas, October 14th! Sigh!


----------



## Tania

IC that I will never understand some people, or life itself. The irony is suffocating. The stupid bitch has exactly what I want most in the world right now, laid out at her feet. And she's ambivalent...lackadaisical, even. 

Tell me why spiked cluebats are illegal in this state again?


----------



## Chef

Tania said:


> IC that I will never understand some people, or life itself. The irony is suffocating. The stupid bitch has exactly what I want most in the world right now, laid out at her feet. And she's ambivalent...lackadaisical, even.
> 
> Tell me why spiked cluebats are illegal in this state again?



Spiked Bats are $8 at Amazon.


----------



## mossystate

I confess that the more I look at the numbers, the more I would like to be a smaller woman...not even sure exactly what that is in my head... in the upcoming years of my life ( knock on wood ). The numbers being the available ( and desireable, to me ) men who like older fat women. While it only takes that one man, I am thinking the chances of finding a man who is looking for a fat woman in her late 40's...pretty slim. Hell, most men my age want younger and not as fat...no matter what they claim. I am not torn up, nor ' depressed ' about this. I also do not think that being smaller guarantees...jack. The older thing...nothing I can do about that...that's written in stone. Perhaps I just want to up my odds a bit. Just kind of thinking about stuff...ya know? Again...not wringing my hands. No need to send the advice squad. I won't jump.

And...no...this is not me hating my fat body. Have to be very careful and say that.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

A broader playing field....and more numbers to play.....always improves your odds, methinks.


----------



## Punkin1024

Mossy ~ Again, I'll say it, my bro-in-law was 42 before he found his sweetie and she is a BBW! Never give up, never give in! 

IC that I'm worried I'll get sick right before my week long vacation! Partially because we're expected to go out of town to visit friends and I'm not looking forward to the drive or spending the night on an uncomfortable bed. Wish they lived closer, then it would be a snap!


----------



## mossystate

Punkin1024 said:


> Mossy ~ Again, I'll say it, my bro-in-law was 42 before he found his sweetie and she is a BBW! Never give up, never give in!



Ella, I know your heart is in the right place, but, I am not ' giving up ' on anything. Perhaps it is not always a bad thing to be realistic about some things. Does not mean anything more than that...and certainly nothing less.


----------



## mergirl

mossystate said:


> Ella, I know your heart is in the right place, but, I am not ' giving up ' on anything. Perhaps it is not always a bad thing to be realistic about some things. Does not mean anything more than that...and certainly nothing less.


Exactly Mossy! You have your cats.. a man would be just greedy now!  I say instead of even thinking about anything (including politics, art or culture) that you cultivate for yourself a crazy cat lady vibe.. As a lesbian i'm going to end up 'having' to be like this anyway.. it was something i used to cry about but now its something i'm trying to embrace. GD said this isn't going to happen... but she's new to the dark side and will learn. Hmm.. that reminds me.. where is she? She went out for a copy of 'chicks with dicks' 2 months ago and still isnt back.. (Only joking, she just doesnt care much for dims! lmao)
No advice from me missus.. but ya know.. you already have the cats... at least its something to think about. 
xx


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Monique on here complaining about not getting sex when I have e-stalked her, including shoe licking, for three years.....and she STILL hasn't given me any......:doh: :doh: :blush:


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

littlefairywren said:


> IC that we need to remember how much we love our friends and family. Life can be so short.
> 
> Keith died this morning, alone




I am so sorry...He was not alone,he had the love of friends with him as he made his journey...He was a very lucky man!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

mossystate said:


> I confess that the more I look at the numbers, the more I would like to be a smaller woman...not even sure exactly what that is in my head... in the upcoming years of my life ( knock on wood ). The numbers being the available ( and desireable, to me ) men who like older fat women. While it only takes that one man, I am thinking the chances of finding a man who is looking for a fat woman in her late 40's...pretty slim. Hell, most men my age want younger and not as fat...no matter what they claim. I am not torn up, nor ' depressed ' about this. I also do not think that being smaller guarantees...jack. The older thing...nothing I can do about that...that's written in stone. Perhaps I just want to up my odds a bit. Just kind of thinking about stuff...ya know? Again...not wringing my hands. No need to send the advice squad. I won't jump.
> 
> And...no...this is not me hating my fat body. Have to be very careful and say that.



A lot of single men past the age of 40 are looking for their youth in women half their age..They knock older women all the time but they keep forgetting one little mathematical equation. 20-30 goes in 40-100 more times then 40-100 goes into 20-30! Think about it for a minute!

Even thinner women in the 45 and up range get left for the younger,thinner,what you use to look like woman...So size really does not matter past a certain age..I think most men around our age range are tired of drama and they are looking for a woman that is mature and settled so they can have a calm peaceful life..You will run across a really good one and if not that is okay too..Living alone is not the terrible life it once was..I am going to be the dog lady of my town before long..I'll wear the honor with pride because I am gonna be me!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Monique on here complaining about not getting sex when I have e-stalked her, including shoe licking, for three years.....and she STILL hasn't given me any......:doh: :doh: :blush:



Might have been the shoe licking that killed the mood GEF! Just saying...


----------



## littlefairywren

BubbleButtBabe said:


> I am so sorry...He was not alone,he had the love of friends with him as he made his journey...He was a very lucky man!



Thank you....he was not happy here any more, but I know he is in a better place and with his wife.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

BubbleButtBabe said:


> Might have been the shoe licking that killed the mood GEF! Just saying...




I just can't believe that........


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Never can tell GEF..LOL Did you ask her what her turn ons are?...*giggles*


----------



## Punkin1024

I had a little meltdown this morning. I felt all of my 52 (almost 53) years, I was frustrated with our finances (I know that strikes at any age) and still upset because a good friend's last day at work was yesterday. Sigh! I guess I needed to cry. On the good side, upset hubby so much that he got me Yo$ to spend in YoVille - I bought a siamese cat and named her after my childhood kitty - Pywackit! So not all bad. :happy:


----------



## Tania

I'm a Bell, Book, & Candle fan, too.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Punkin1024 said:


> I had a little meltdown this morning. I felt all of my 52 (almost 53) years, I was frustrated with our finances (I know that strikes at any age) and still upset because a good friend's last day at work was yesterday. Sigh! I guess I needed to cry. On the good side, upset hubby so much that he got me Yo$ to spend in YoVille - I bought a siamese cat and named her after my childhood kitty - Pywackit! So not all bad. :happy:




Awww hugsss Ella! I feel you on the age thing..Some days I feel older then 52!
Let's hope tomorrow will be a better day and with the sun shining you will feel 20 again..I hope you can still keep in touch with your friend and maybe get together every week to catch up! Spend some girl time together..


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Punkin1024 said:


> I had a little meltdown this morning. I felt all of my 52 (almost 53) years, I was frustrated with our finances (I know that strikes at any age) and still upset because a good friend's last day at work was yesterday. Sigh! I guess I needed to cry. On the good side, upset hubby so much that he got me Yo$ to spend in YoVille - I bought a siamese cat and named her after my childhood kitty - Pywackit! So not all bad. :happy:



How did he send you yoville money? Invite me back to yoville and tell me how and I will send you some, too


----------



## mossystate

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I just can't believe that........



She is right, Greenie. Gots to slip off that shoe, woman.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

mossystate said:


> She is right, Greenie. Gots to slip off that shoe, woman.




Now you're teasing me again.......:smitten: :smitten: :smitten:


----------



## Punkin1024

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> How did he send you yoville money? Invite me back to yoville and tell me how and I will send you some, too



Hey there!

Well, he was on my sign-on in Facebook and just went to our Paypal account and did it. We sometimes help each other out on the games if something is coming due for harvest and such. He knows that YoVille is my favorite place on Facebook. I just went up a notch tonight and now have a balcony at my apartment. I have a lot of fun decorating my apartment and shopping for clothes. I send out a crew request practically every night (but didn't this evening - sigh). If you see it, click on it and join my crew! I'd love to see you on my friendship ladder again.


----------



## mossystate

I do wish there was more positive said about the aging female. I wish that there was less, "OMG!!". I wish I was more out and ok with my aging. I am glad I am as ok as I am...I just wish I contributed more to changing the ugly business/attitudes concerning what is beautiful. Gots to work on that.


----------



## Aust99

IC I am so completely confused.. I like the boy, I thought the boy liked me but there is a weirdness between us atm.... need to talk it through.. hope it can be fixed. :-(


----------



## littlefairywren

Aust99 said:


> IC I am so completely confused.. I like the boy, I thought the boy liked me but there is a weirdness between us atm.... need to talk it through.. hope it can be fixed. :-(



Oh hon, I am sorry about that. I hope it can be fixed too!
Hugs to you


----------



## Jane

mossystate said:


> I do wish there was more positive said about the aging female. I wish that there was less, "OMG!!". I wish I was more out and ok with my aging. I am glad I am as ok as I am...I just wish I contributed more to changing the ugly business/attitudes concerning what is beautiful. Gots to work on that.



Go talk to a younger man. I think you would be amazed at their attitudes about older women.


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that today went better than I thought it would at work. I believe everyone is still feeling blue because our friend moved on to another job. Still we weathered the storm of phone calls and the usual busy Monday okay. It helped that Mark made a nice supper and lemon bars (boxed mix). At least my tummy is very happy!


----------



## steely

I confesss if I don't get some sleep I'm going to lose it.......


----------



## littlefairywren

IC I am off on another date, but not as nervous this time...yay!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> IC I am off on another date, but not as nervous this time...yay!



Goooooooooooooooood Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

IC: I've had such a terrible day I've broken out in hives . Plus, it's not over. I might have to deal with getting this crap sorted out for 2 weeks . Hopefully 4 Benedryl will help.......I desperately need some sleep.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Aust99 said:


> IC I am so completely confused.. I like the boy, I thought the boy liked me but there is a weirdness between us atm.... need to talk it through.. hope it can be fixed. :-(



Boys can suck. (Sorry just venting about some I've come across)

Try to talk it out.

Good luck


----------



## Punkin1024

steely said:


> I confesss if I don't get some sleep I'm going to lose it.......



I hope you can get some rest too. Have you ever tried Valerian Root or Celestial Seasonings Sleepy Time Wellness tea with Valerian Root? If these don't help, may I suggest you see a doctor. Due to your recent loss, a Dr. can prescribe a sedative that will help you get the rest you need. I'm speaking from experience here - don't make it any harder on yourself than it already is. 

Sending hugs and prayers to you my friend.


----------



## steely

Punkin1024 said:


> I hope you can get some rest too. Have you ever tried Valerian Root or Celestial Seasonings Sleepy Time Wellness tea with Valerian Root? If these don't help, may I suggest you see a doctor. Due to your recent loss, a Dr. can prescribe a sedative that will help you get the rest you need. I'm speaking from experience here - don't make it any harder on yourself than it already is.
> 
> Sending hugs and prayers to you my friend.



Thank you dear, I have something but it just doesn't work. I get about 2 hours and then I'm wide awake. I really need sleep though. I am a mess and can find no relief really. Thank you for the hugs and prayers, I really need them.


----------



## Tooz

mossystate said:


> I do wish there was more positive said about the aging female. I wish that there was less, "OMG!!". I wish I was more out and ok with my aging. I am glad I am as ok as I am...I just wish I contributed more to changing the ugly business/attitudes concerning what is beautiful. Gots to work on that.




fwiw, Mossy, I think you're pretty damn good lookin'. Objectively I am saying this.


----------



## Jane

Tooz said:


> fwiw, Mossy, I think you're pretty damn good lookin'. Objectively I am saying this.



Yeah, I object to Mossy being so damned good looking as well.


----------



## luscious_lulu

some days I just feel like running away.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

steely said:


> Thank you dear, I have something but it just doesn't work. I get about 2 hours and then I'm wide awake. I really need sleep though. I am a mess and can find no relief really. Thank you for the hugs and prayers, I really need them.




Might need to get a different med Amy.I take trazodone 50mg and have for years,best thing I ever found...Hugss hon and I will say a prayer you can get some sleep soon..

I would suggest to you what the psychiatrist suggested to me but it might embarrass us both!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Jane said:


> Go talk to a younger man. I think you would be amazed at their attitudes about older women.




Jane is right Mossy...Younger men seem to appreciate older women a lot more then men our own age range..Remember my comment about 20-30 going into 40-100 more then the 40-100 into 20-30...


----------



## TraciJo67

Tooz said:


> fwiw, Mossy, I think you're pretty damn good lookin'. Objectively I am saying this.





Jane said:


> Yeah, I object to Mossy being so damned good looking as well.





BubbleButtBabe said:


> Jane is right Mossy...Younger men seem to appreciate older women a lot more then men our own age range..Remember my comment about 20-30 going into 40-100 more then the 40-100 into 20-30...



Ladies, much as I know Mossything is sucking up the compliments (or will be, when she sees them ), I think her point of writing what she did was more of this (quoted):

* I am glad I am as ok as I am...I just wish I contributed more to changing the ugly business/attitudes concerning what is beautiful.*

Since she is unable to respond right now, I'm bizzy reading her mind for her, whether she likes it or not


----------



## Ruffie

I am going to the big city this weekend for some shopping with hubby and son and to pick up proofing and enlargements for clients. I confess I really don't wanna go cause the last time I went clothes shopping there couldn't find anything I wanted/needed and was exhausted after a day of shleping the malls and outlet stores all for naught.


----------



## Crystal

Ruffie said:


> I am going to the big city this weekend for some shopping with hubby and son and to pick up proofing and enlargements for clients. I confess I really don't wanna go cause the last time I went clothes shopping there couldn't find anything I wanted/needed and was exhausted after a day of shleping the malls and outlet stores all for naught.



I hope you do find something.  There's nothing worse than shopping all day, being excited for a new outfit, and finding nothing. That's something, as a plus sized college student, that I experience pretty often.  It'd be nice if we could walk into any store, anywhere, and find something that we liked AND that came in our size.


----------



## Jane

TraciJo67 said:


> Ladies, much as I know Mossything is sucking up the compliments (or will be, when she sees them ), I think her point of writing what she did was more of this (quoted):
> 
> * I am glad I am as ok as I am...I just wish I contributed more to changing the ugly business/attitudes concerning what is beautiful.*
> 
> Since she is unable to respond right now, I'm bizzy reading her mind for her, whether she likes it or not



Like I was going to let her whine hang in the air as the important line when I could make light of her feelings. Sheesh...who does she think she is? (read her mind and tell us)


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

TraciJo67 said:


> Ladies, much as I know Mossything is sucking up the compliments (or will be, when she sees them ), I think her point of writing what she did was more of this (quoted):
> 
> * I am glad I am as ok as I am...I just wish I contributed more to changing the ugly business/attitudes concerning what is beautiful.*
> 
> Since she is unable to respond right now, I'm bizzy reading her mind for her, whether she likes it or not



I kind of skimmed by it since this is not the thread for a good answer..I figure if she wants to say more she will in her own time..


----------



## Tania

IC that I have two dates with two cool guys lined up for this weekend. How the hell did that happen?


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that I've already been into my birthday cake! Well, he couldn't expect me to wait till Saturday, could he!


----------



## TraciJo67

Jane said:


> Like I was going to let her whine hang in the air as the important line when I could make light of her feelings. Sheesh...who does she think she is? (read her mind and tell us)



She thinks that she was Cleopatra in an earlier life. This, I know.


----------



## Sugar

TraciJo67 said:


> She thinks that she was Cleopatra in an earlier life. This, I know.



Wasn't Shirley McClain Cleopatra? Does that mean that our Plumpy is Shirley and she hasn't bothered to tell us? :happy:


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Punkin1024 said:


> IC that I've already been into my birthday cake! Well, he couldn't expect me to wait till Saturday, could he!



Go right ahead and have a couple of pieces of cake..It your birthday after all!! BTW I hope you have a very happy day and all of your wishes come true!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Punkin1024 said:


> IC that I've already been into my birthday cake! Well, he couldn't expect me to wait till Saturday, could he!



What kind of cake? :batting: :eat2:


----------



## Punkin1024

Double Chocolate Fudge...of course! I have some kind of chocolate cake on my birthday every year - it's a tradition started by my Mom from my first birthday.


----------



## littlefairywren

Tania said:


> IC that I have two dates with two cool guys lined up for this weekend. How the hell did that happen?



Oooh date talk. You will have to fill us in on details after Hope they go well!!


----------



## luscious_lulu

steely said:


> Thank you dear, I have something but it just doesn't work. I get about 2 hours and then I'm wide awake. I really need sleep though. I am a mess and can find no relief really. Thank you for the hugs and prayers, I really need them.



Have you tried meditation? When I was first diagnosed with depression I had a hard time staying asleep. I found using meditation to quiet my mind helped. I would still wake up, but I would use meditation to help me fall back asleep.


----------



## Astarte

IC I'm totally addicted to fb's Fairyland app...


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Astarte said:


> IC I'm totally addicted to fb's Fairyland app...




There is a fairyland on FB.......WHY DID YOU TELL ME????? :doh:


----------



## Astarte

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> There is a fairyland on FB.......WHY DID YOU TELL ME????? :doh:



Misery loves company. lol  Welcome, it's complicated, frustrating and very addictive.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Astarte said:


> IC I'm totally addicted to fb's Fairyland app...





Green Eyed Fairy said:


> There is a fairyland on FB.......WHY DID YOU TELL ME????? :doh:





Astarte said:


> Misery loves company. lol  Welcome, it's complicated, frustrating and very addictive.



*Aww heck! If we don't see these two posting on Dims for a couple of days, we'll know where to find them*.


----------



## Sweet Tooth

IC I'm so tired of lying scoundrels.

Honest scoundrels, fine. At least you know where they stand, and you can take them for what they're worth. You can make a decision based on full information rather than on a contrived image.

Why do they feel the need to lie when you aren't even asking for anything? :huh:

I guess the biggest problem is that they make one wary of the likely decent people out there who don't deserve one's suspicion.


----------



## Tania

IC that I think I may have found a wonderful man. 

IC that I may be speaking too soon.

IC that I am knocking on wood with my free hand as I type. 

IC that every time he texts me I swoon.

IC that I wish his stupid meetings would get over with so he can call me. xD


----------



## Dmitra

Tania said:


> IC that I think I may have found a wonderful man.
> 
> IC that I may be speaking too soon.
> 
> IC that I am knocking on wood with my free hand as I type.
> 
> IC that every time he texts me I swoon.
> 
> IC that I wish his stupid meetings would get over with so he can call me. xD



Yay, Tania!! I hope he turns out to be the good guy for you. 


IC to being a closet optimistic romantic. haha


----------



## littlefairywren

Tania said:


> IC that I think I may have found a wonderful man.
> 
> IC that I may be speaking too soon.
> 
> IC that I am knocking on wood with my free hand as I type.
> 
> IC that every time he texts me I swoon.
> 
> IC that I wish his stupid meetings would get over with so he can call me. xD



Woo Hoo!!! How exciting
I have my fingers and toes crossed for you!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> Have you tried meditation? When I was first diagnosed with depression I had a hard time staying asleep. I found using meditation to quiet my mind helped. I would still wake up, but I would use meditation to help me fall back asleep.



Self-hypnosis helps too. I went to a counselor that taught me bio-feedback (helps in so many situations!) and she also taught me self-hypnosis, and gave me tapes to help me achieve it. I'd fall right back asleep after doing the tape. You might look for self-hypnosis tapes if you cannot afford someone to teach it to you (and give you customized tapes).

Hugs!
Mizz


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tania said:


> IC that I think I may have found a wonderful man.
> 
> IC that I may be speaking too soon.
> 
> IC that I am knocking on wood with my free hand as I type.
> 
> IC that every time he texts me I swoon.
> 
> IC that I wish his stupid meetings would get over with so he can call me. xD



How exciting!!! I hope he's a keeper!  We're all rooting for you!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Sweet Tooth said:


> IC I'm so tired of lying scoundrels.
> 
> Honest scoundrels, fine. At least you know where they stand, and you can take them for what they're worth. You can make a decision based on full information rather than on a contrived image.
> 
> Why do they feel the need to lie when you aren't even asking for anything? :huh:
> 
> I guess the biggest problem is that they make one wary of the likely decent people out there who don't deserve one's suspicion.



Oh man..........I so understand.   Yep, and they make you suspicious of the character of all men, including the good ones.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

IC: I'm soooooo jealous of Tania and her new guy. :blush: I wish I could find a decent one (I'd accept a great guy too  ). <sigh>

IC: I just adore Punkin's cat  ...........and I want her cake 

IC: I'm moving.........in 2 months!!!  Just found this out Friday! :shocked: . I'll soooooooooooo miss the city.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Ruffie said:


> I am going to the big city this weekend for some shopping with hubby and son and to pick up proofing and enlargements for clients. I confess I really don't wanna go cause the last time I went clothes shopping there couldn't find anything I wanted/needed and was exhausted after a day of shleping the malls and outlet stores all for naught.





CrystalUT11 said:


> I hope you do find something.  There's nothing worse than shopping all day, being excited for a new outfit, and finding nothing. That's something, as a plus sized college student, that I experience pretty often.  It'd be nice if we could walk into any store, anywhere, and find something that we liked AND that came in our size.



Yeah, I'd LOVE to be able to go to a store (or on-line), see an outfit I like/love, and it's in my size. That would be.......heaven. lol

CrystalUT11, I really understand what you're talking about. When I was in college, I could never find cute and/or trendy clothes. I always felt old since I could only find clothes in my size that was geared towards women in their 30s (before anyone goes crazy, being in your 30s isn't old, but when your 19, 21, etc., it often feels that way for that age group).

When will stores and designers start increasing their sizes in clothing they already designing! We're a big market, and they would see a huge amount of money come in!


----------



## Punkin1024

MizzSnakeBite said:


> IC: I just adore Punkin's cat  ...........and I want her cake
> 
> IC: I'm moving.........in 2 months!!!  Just found this out Friday! :shocked: . I'll soooooooooooo miss the city.



Hey, you're in Texas - come on over - I've still got a few pieces of that chocolate cake. 

The cat in the picture isn't mine, but I do have 2 black cats. One is completely black and the other is mostly black with a white belly and white paws. Both males. One is named Mr. Winx and the other is Tipsy.

When you move, will you still be in Texas?


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Punkin1024 said:


> Hey, you're in Texas - come on over - I've still got a few pieces of that chocolate cake.
> 
> The cat in the picture isn't mine, but I do have 2 black cats. One is completely black and the other is mostly black with a white belly and white paws. Both males. One is named Mr. Winx and the other is Tipsy.
> 
> When you move, will you still be in Texas?



Oh if it was me, that cake would be gone! lol

What adorable names!

Yep, still in Texas. About 1-1/2 hrs from Dallas  Too far away.... I'm a city girl, not a country girl.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I need to stay out of that 1 topic before I loose my temper!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

IC: I've decided to stay away from the clothing/fashion board........makes me too depressed. All this talk of cute clothes, shoes and 1) I have no, nada, zero, zilch money and 2) Most of the stuff doesn't come in my size.

IC: I'm confused about the previous poster's confession. 

IC: I now have three parrots flying around the house.......lord help me


----------



## Keb

IC I'm trying to finish the novel I started in August before Nanowrimo so I can write a new novel next month...and instead of writing, I'm crocheting flower hairbands!


----------



## Tania

Parrots? Omigosh!!!!! What kinds of parrots do you have?

Re my man stuff: thanks, you guys. :* All prayers and good thoughts accepted in this. 

He's absolutely lovely, just crazy busy with his startup. IC that I'm a little jealous of the business, but his hands are kinda tied for the next little while. I sort of happened in the middle of everything, you know? We spent all day together on saturday - he bought me lunch and made me dinner. We text every day and he calls me when he can. He let me keep him awake last night before he headed down to the big solar trade show in Anaheim today. I can handle this...I can I can I can.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tania said:


> Parrots? Omigosh!!!!! What kinds of parrots do you have?
> 
> Re my man stuff: thanks, you guys. :* All prayers and good thoughts accepted in this.
> 
> He's absolutely lovely, just crazy busy with his startup. IC that I'm a little jealous of the business, but his hands are kinda tied for the next little while. I sort of happened in the middle of everything, you know? We spent all day together on saturday - he bought me lunch and made me dinner. We text every day and he calls me when he can. He let me keep him awake last night before he headed down to the big solar trade show in Anaheim today. I can handle this...I can I can I can.



Yup, a Timneh African Grey (sub-species of the "regular" African Grey parrot people think of), a Sun Conure, and a Senegal parrot. They're all the bosses of me with my Grey being the head supervisor lol

Oh good luck with him! He really sounds wonderful!


----------



## littlefairywren

> He's absolutely lovely, just crazy busy with his startup. IC that I'm a little jealous of the business, but his hands are kinda tied for the next little while. I sort of happened in the middle of everything, you know? We spent all day together on saturday - he bought me lunch and made me dinner. We text every day and he calls me when he can. He let me keep him awake last night before he headed down to the big solar trade show in Anaheim today. I can handle this...I can I can I can.



Oh gosh, he made you dinner....that makes me go all mushy
How sweeeet is he!!! Happy days!


----------



## Tania

I adore sun conures! The heroine of the romance novel I co-wrote has a sun conure named Lucky. 

Isn't that awesome, FairyWren? He is wonderful. I'm just paranoid. I've been burned by enough men coming at me like freight trains and then losing interest after they get me. If that happens with this one, it'll break me. I know that sounds really dramatic, but honestly - how much can one woman take before she is broken?


----------



## littlefairywren

> Isn't that awesome, FairyWren? He is wonderful. I'm just paranoid. I've been burned by enough men coming at me like freight trains and then losing interest after they get me. If that happens with this one, it'll break me. I know that sounds really dramatic, but honestly - how much can one woman take before she is broken?



I hear you. But just enjoy and live in this moment. (((Hugs))) and support


----------



## Punkin1024

IC I have mixed feelings about going to town with hubby tomorrow (it's his birthday). This week I've been staying up very late and sleeping in till about 10 or 11. I know he'll want to go to Abilene around 10 or 11. I hope we're both up to it as we've been have allergy/sinus issues this week. Perhaps it won't be too bad as I get to spend some of my birthday money and Bath & Body Works! :happy:


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I am sick of being sick..I wish the weather would stay 1 temp!


----------



## Punkin1024

IC I got the spring preview WomanWithin Catalog and I'm gonna have to save my money for some really nice outfits that actually are in my color choices and size! Win! Win!


----------



## luscious_lulu

I'm exhausted. I haven't done anything to be this tired, but I am. I'm worried that I'm having a lupus flare.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC that just once in my life,before I die,that I am truly loved for the real me and not the me everyone seems to think I am....


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC that just once in my life,before I die,that I am truly loved for the real me and not the me everyone seems to think I am....



IC: BBBabe couldn't have put it any better................I'd love to have the same thing too.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> I'm exhausted. I haven't done anything to be this tired, but I am. I'm worried that I'm having a lupus flare.



Oh no!  Lets just hope it's the flu!


----------



## Tau

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Oh no!  Lets just hope it's the flu!



Hey Lulu, I also hope its nothing major -feel better *smishes*


----------



## Tau

I confess that I'm feeling so guilty and self centred and sad. A good friend died 3 weeks ago and my tears have been so full of bitter regret and loss for a friendship I didn't value enough, and then guilt for making her death about me.


----------



## littlefairywren

Tau, I am so sorry about your friend. (((hugs)))


----------



## Jane

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC that just once in my life,before I die,that I am truly loved for the real me and not the me everyone seems to think I am....



For that to happen you have to just be yourself and not what others expect. Love me, hate me, whatever, you get me and nothing else. And, thankfully, I am loved by people who REALLY know me (despised by some who do as well).


----------



## steely

Tau said:


> I confess that I'm feeling so guilty and self centred and sad. A good friend died 3 weeks ago and my tears have been so full of bitter regret and loss for a friendship I didn't value enough, and then guilt for making her death about me.



I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I learned just recently to always tell the people in your life how much they mean to you, because they can be gone in an instant. Take care of yourself.


----------



## steely

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC that just once in my life,before I die,that I am truly loved for the real me and not the me everyone seems to think I am....



I had that with my husband, he loved me, all of me. Not just the good parts but everything else that went with it. I can be a pain in the butt. He used to say to me, I know I tell you I love you too much. As it turned out I'd give anything to hear him say it one more time.

I hope you find that for yourself, I think it's a once in a lifetime chance.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Jane said:


> For that to happen you have to just be yourself and not what others expect. Love me, hate me, whatever, you get me and nothing else. And, thankfully, I am loved by people who REALLY know me (despised by some who do as well).





steely said:


> I had that with my husband, he loved me, all of me. Not just the good parts but everything else that went with it. I can be a pain in the butt. He used to say to me, I know I tell you I love you too much. As it turned out I'd give anything to hear him say it one more time.
> 
> I hope you find that for yourself, I think it's a once in a lifetime chance.




I am me for the most part..I do keep a part of me from others even my own family...Can't help that,I have tried to work past it but something always holds that little bit back...I think things that went on in my childhood and into adulthood has a lot to do with that..Any how I am a what you see is what you get type of person..Most do not get that,they think there is something buried deep inside and when I do show a glimpse of it they tend to run...

Amy,you sound like my parents...They were the same way..They loved each other not matter what..It seems like they were made for each other,even tho they were 20 years apart! Hugss hon,carry what he said to you in your heart always and it will help..I know it doesn't seem like it will right now but it will...


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Tau said:


> I confess that I'm feeling so guilty and self centred and sad. A good friend died 3 weeks ago and my tears have been so full of bitter regret and loss for a friendship I didn't value enough, and then guilt for making her death about me.




Huggss Tau,I am so sorry about the loss of your friend..Sometimes it takes something like this to open our eyes to realize we have to cherish each and every day with someone..


----------



## Weeze

I weigh 297 lbs. currently.



and I feel like I don't fit in here anymore. How's that work?


----------



## Tooz

krismiss said:


> I weigh 297 lbs. currently.
> 
> 
> 
> and I feel like I don't fit in here anymore. How's that work?



It's ok, sometimes _I_ don't, and I weigh almost 100 more than you. SOLIDARITY.


----------



## Smushygirl

krismiss said:


> I weigh 297 lbs. currently.
> 
> 
> 
> and I feel like I don't fit in here anymore. How's that work?







Tooz said:


> It's ok, sometimes _I_ don't, and I weigh almost 100 more than you. SOLIDARITY.



I stand with my sisters!


----------



## mergirl

krismiss said:


> I weigh 297 lbs. currently.
> 
> 
> 
> and I feel like I don't fit in here anymore. How's that work?



I weigh about 100lbs less and i feel i dont fit in here anymore either. 



Tooz said:


> It's ok, sometimes _I_ don't, and I weigh almost 100 more than you. SOLIDARITY.





Smushygirl said:


> I stand with my sisters!



Maby its better to not fit in together.


----------



## Punkin1024

Is there a weight limit in here? I don't think so! I currently don't know my exact weight, but I know I "fit" in here!  Come on everybody, the fact that you're here, means you want to be here, isn't that all you need? Hugs to you all!


----------



## Tooz

Smushygirl said:


> I stand with my sisters!



My girl :wubu:


----------



## Weeze

and for the record.
you can make the ssbbw feel pretty and whatever without making smaller people look undesirable. some shit around here is so uncalled for lately. I don't understand it.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Punkin1024 said:


> Is there a weight limit in here? I don't think so! I currently don't know my exact weight, but I know I "fit" in here!  Come on everybody, the fact that you're here, means you want to be here, isn't that all you need? Hugs to you all!



Ella, if when you first joined Dims you were able to fit right in immediately and be happy, then that was wonderful for you. Wanting to be a part of something and being made to feel a part of that is very different. I know it took a good minute for me to wrap my head around the concept that while I was much too fat to be considered a beauty to the world outside of Dims, I am also much too small to be considered a beauty with in it. It's not as easy as for some as it is for others to reach to reach their level of comfort. I'm sorry, but I found the "we're all fat, we're all here, just have a hug" feel of your post to be somewhat flippant and insulting of Mer, Angie, Jess and especially Kris' feelings.

Kris, Dims is like just about any place else where there are a lot of people in a given space. There folks who only participate in the games of the lounge and find the discussion boards too argumentative. Some of the discussion board regulars find the games that have permeated the lounge too frivolous. Not everyone is going to "fit" everywhere here and yes, it does have its various close knit cliques. I know my smaller BBW beauty is not necessarily of a type that is popular on the paysite boards here. Let's face it, after years of asking; it was only very recently that the issues of the BBWs separate from that of our SSBBW sisters were even recognized here. So I can see why you may sometimes feel that way. As you get to know more people, some you'll be a part of and others you won't. You'll find your niche/circle/whatever and be comfortable there, within the overall board. Just keep participating.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

krismiss said:


> and for the record.
> you can make the ssbbw feel pretty and whatever without making smaller people look undesirable. some shit around here is so uncalled for lately. I don't understand it.



Huh?


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

OneWickedAngel said:


> Huh?



I believe all these hurt feelings are coming from this thread: http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=65680


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tania said:


> I adore sun conures! The heroine of the romance novel I co-wrote has a sun conure named Lucky.
> 
> 
> [F]I just wuv Sun Conures :wubu:. I used to have two, but my precious baby girl, Rae, died :really sad: . Here's my big guy: :happy: [/FONT]
> View attachment Kumuqat on Tree '06resz.jpg
> 
> 
> View attachment Kumquat 1-09 resz.jpg
> 
> 
> [F]I need to take some better pics of him..........he's just gorgeous.....and in flight he's magnificent. I wish I could get the cobalt blue to show better.
> 
> I hesitate to give his name because certain people might take it the wrong way. His name is Kumquat........NOT the slang term. I named him after the tiny, orange, citrus fruits. I would NEVER EVER name any animal, let alone one of my pets, after a derogatory slang term. I've had him for many years and wasn't even aware of the slang term when I named him as a baby......he was and still is my cute, little, baby orange.
> 
> Sorry for the rant, but someone once went after me because of his name. I innocently mentioned his name and she slammed me, even saying I shouldn't have children because of his name! So I'm now very hesitant to give his name to others unless they really know me, and know I would never do something like that. I love and adore my babies, so why would I name them an offensive term? [/FONT]
> 
> I'm surprised the heroine of your novel was able to get out one word since Suns are so loud.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tau said:


> I confess that I'm feeling so guilty and self centred and sad. A good friend died 3 weeks ago and my tears have been so full of bitter regret and loss for a friendship I didn't value enough, and then guilt for making her death about me.



I really don't think you should be feeling guilty. This is very common, the bitter tears over a loss of a friendship one didn't value enough. In my experience, when someone dies, we think of our times together, the good and the bad, what we wish we could have changed to make it better, etc. I don't see that as self-centered; I see it as part of the healing processes. And you most certainly shouldn't feel guilty or self-centered for feeling sad over her death and what you lost! It doesn't seem to me that you're making her death about you.
Hugs,
Mizz SnakeBite


----------



## Tania

Mizz, Kumquat is AMAZING. Just GORGEOUS!!!!!! Some day, when I have space that I can be sure is safe from my kitties, I want to get a sun conure!

I'm sorry about your little Rae. 

PS - I didn't know that "kumquat" was slang for something dirty, but now that you mention it, I can guess how that happened! Hehehe.


----------



## littlefairywren

Kumquat is just ADORABLE, I want to fluff his feathers so much! Such a pretty baby As for the slang term, I am completely in the dark there 

View attachment Kumquat.jpg


----------



## OneWickedAngel

MizzSnakeBite said:


> [F]I just wuv Sun Conures :wubu:. I used to have two, but my precious baby girl, Rae, died :really sad: . Here's my big guy: :happy: [/FONT]



WHAT A GORGEOUS BIRD!!!!! 

Wow, some idiots really thought you would purposely name the bird something offensive?? I bet the same ignoramus has no idea "gay" means a cheery, happy person. Some people are so dense, seriously!! Get the mind out of the freaking gutter - geesh!!


----------



## katorade

What the hell is kumquat slang for? I think that woman had her words mixed up!


----------



## Wagimawr

There's no consensus. Sometimes a fruit IS just a fruit.


----------



## Paquito

Looks like I found my word of the day. :wubu:


----------



## kayrae

I weigh 230 lbs and I do still feel like I fit in. But perhaps this feeling comes from the fact that I haven't really been reading the boards lately.  

In all seriousness, krissy, I'm sorry you feel that way. Sometimes one person's opinion can color how you feel about an entire website. For what it's worth, I value your participation here and I'm glad that you can express your disappointment. Lots of hugs to you.





krismiss said:


> I weigh 297 lbs. currently.
> and I feel like I don't fit in here anymore. How's that work?


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

MizzSnakeBite said:


> I believe all these hurt feelings are coming from this thread: http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=65680



Word....that shit was so totally uncalled for. Who gives a flying fuck though? Not every guy here is exactly my idea of "beautiful" either  



kayrae said:


> I weigh 230 lbs and I do still feel like I fit in. But perhaps this feeling comes from the fact that I haven't really been reading the boards lately.
> 
> In all seriousness, krissy, I'm sorry you feel that way. Sometimes one person's opinion can color how you feel about an entire website. For what it's worth, I value your participation here and I'm glad that you can express your disappointment. Lots of hugs to you.



I read the boards but tend to spend too much time in subscribed threads probably. I like Krismiss and feel she is a very positive element here. It is the minds, ideals and caring of some of the people here that is the real draw for a lot of us here.....not the fat.

Btw, I currently weigh 256 lbs. I fits just fine


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tania said:


> Mizz, Kumquat is AMAZING. Just GORGEOUS!!!!!! Some day, when I have space that I can be sure is safe from my kitties, I want to get a sun conure!
> 
> I'm sorry about your little Rae.
> 
> PS - I didn't know that "kumquat" was slang for something dirty, but now that you mention it, I can guess how that happened! Hehehe.




Yes he is, and he knows it and flaunts it. lol I keep trying to get a pic of him while he's wearing one of his bells as a hat. 

Thank you. Even after 4 years, I miss her terribly. She was the sweetest, even when laying eggs.

Yes, I had no idea! I mean, it just didn't even occur to me! Some people think it's just a slang term and don't even know a kumquat really is a fruit. Guess we all now have to check Urban Dictionary before naming anything.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> Kumquat is just ADORABLE, I want to fluff his feathers so much! Such a pretty baby As for the slang term, I am completely in the dark there



And he's even more adorable when he fluffs his feathers out, then shakes out his tail feathers. 

Wagimawr posted a link to Urban Dictionary with all the various uses of the word "kumquat." It's nice to know lots of others just view the word as just a name for a fruit! :happy:


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

OneWickedAngel said:


> WHAT A GORGEOUS BIRD!!!!!
> 
> Wow, some idiots really thought you would purposely name the bird something offensive?? I bet the same ignoramus has no idea "gay" means a cheery, happy person. Some people are so dense, seriously!! Get the mind out of the freaking gutter - geesh!!



He thanks you! 

Yep, they really thought that and that I shouldn't be allowed to have children because I would name Kumquat "kumquat"!!! She was serious, and even after being shown that a kumquat really is a citrus fruit! She also told me I should rename him! He had had that name for almost 7 years! In the end, I told her that I knew where she kept her mind at - the gutter.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

katorade said:


> What the hell is kumquat slang for? I think that woman had her words mixed up!



Wagimawr gave a link to all the various definitions "kumquat" is used as slang for.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Wagimawr said:


> There's no consensus. Sometimes a fruit IS just a fruit.



Thank you....


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

free2beme04 said:


> Looks like I found my word of the day. :wubu:



hahahahahahahahahahaha.........!!!........


----------



## mergirl

MizzSnakeBite said:


> hahahahahahahahahahaha.........!!!........


lmao.. i think Kumquat is a beautiful bird.. i still don't get the fuss about his name? An over exuberant christian? hmm.. i think the person that said you shouldnt have children because of his name.. may need some psychiatric help!!


----------



## luscious_lulu

MSB, Tau and Cors.. Thank you


----------



## katorade

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Wagimawr gave a link to all the various definitions "kumquat" is used as slang for.




I actually looked it up on there before asking, lol! Still inconclusive! That woman sounds like the type that has a hard time saying "chicken breast" because it makes her feel dirty.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mergirl said:


> lmao.. i think Kumquat is a beautiful bird.. i still don't get the fuss about his name? An over exuberant christian? hmm.. i think the person that said you shouldnt have children because of his name.. may need some psychiatric help!!



He thanks you .

I know, I was so taken aback when she started in on his name; just couldn't believe it. I think she does need psychiatric help......she went on a rant of saying that my kid (which I don't have any) would say Kumquat's name (she was picturing this happening in elementary school), the teacher losing it (and if a teacher doesn't know what a kumquat really is, they need to go back to school ), dragging my kid off by the arm to the principal's office, me being called in, on and on. Then saying I shouldn't have kids because I named him that. Huh?? 

Absolutely crazy. And I've seen some real crazy people  . lol (no bad intentions to the people with psychiatric issues out there (accept the crazy kumquat lady lol). My mom's bi-polar and I spent the majority of my childhood visiting her at psych. hospitals. We have some family friends that have major psych problems too.)

Too bad she didn't know the meaning behind my Senegal's name lol. Her name is Isis. My African Grey's name is Scrabble, so I guess I'm ok by that name. lol <running off to check the Urban Dictionary>


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

katorade said:


> I actually looked it up on there before asking, lol! Still inconclusive! That woman sounds like the type that has a hard time saying "chicken breast" because it makes her feel dirty.



rofl.........and if you google it, you just get page after page of fruit links lol. I was so confused by her.

lmao over the chicken breast


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> MSB, Tau and Cors.. Thank you



Are you feeling better? Its been a bad year for people with chronic or intractable pain disorders or chronic illnesses. 

Hoping the next year is better! <crossing my fingers, toes, eyes, and butt-cheeks >


----------



## mossystate

Back after a few weeks. Hope my fat friends ( and formerly fat ) are doing well.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Welcome back...Been off seeing the sights have you?


----------



## Punkin1024

OneWickedAngel said:


> Ella, if when you first joined Dims you were able to fit right in immediately and be happy, then that was wonderful for you. I'm sorry, but I found the "we're all fat, we're all here, just have a hug" feel of your post to be somewhat flippant and insulting of Mer, Angie, Jess and especially Kris' feelings.]
> 
> My apologies, please know I wasn't trying to be flippant. Of course, I put my foot in my mouth, since I didn't know there was a thread reference to all this. For what it's worth, I didn't feel I fit in with the general populace in here for a long time (I'm not single, I'm short, old...), but I stuck around because I still felt many in here could help me feel good about myself. I am guilty of not being around much anymore, therefore, I shouldn't have said a thing.


----------



## mergirl

MizzSnakeBite said:


> He thanks you .
> 
> I know, I was so taken aback when she started in on his name; just couldn't believe it. I think she does need psychiatric help......she went on a rant of saying that my kid (which I don't have any) would say Kumquat's name (she was picturing this happening in elementary school), the teacher losing it (and if a teacher doesn't know what a kumquat really is, they need to go back to school ), dragging my kid off by the arm to the principal's office, me being called in, on and on. Then saying I shouldn't have kids because I named him that. Huh??
> 
> Absolutely crazy. And I've seen some real crazy people  . lol (no bad intentions to the people with psychiatric issues out there (accept the crazy kumquat lady lol). My mom's bi-polar and I spent the majority of my childhood visiting her at psych. hospitals. We have some family friends that have major psych problems too.)
> 
> Too bad she didn't know the meaning behind my Senegal's name lol. Her name is Isis. My African Grey's name is Scrabble, so I guess I'm ok by that name. lol <running off to check the Urban Dictionary>


OMG.. your friends is bannanas! Making up imaginary scenarios for your imaginary child where there may be a possibility of there being a possible misunderstanding between an imaginary teacher and the afore mentioned imaginary child about your bird being named after a fruit but in the imaginary scenario they think its after something rude (which i still dont actually have a clue about). They would get sent to the imaginary head teachers office and you would have to get in your imaginary car (while we are imagining, might as well make it a porsh ) to go and sort out all the imaginary caffuffle!!!!
I say you buy a parrot and call it cunt!


----------



## katorade

MizzSnakeBite said:


> He thanks you .
> 
> I know, I was so taken aback when she started in on his name; just couldn't believe it. I think she does need psychiatric help......she went on a rant of saying that my kid (which I don't have any) would say Kumquat's name (she was picturing this happening in elementary school), the teacher losing it (and if a teacher doesn't know what a kumquat really is, they need to go back to school ), dragging my kid off by the arm to the principal's office, me being called in, on and on. Then saying I shouldn't have kids because I named him that. Huh??
> 
> Absolutely crazy. And I've seen some real crazy people  . lol (no bad intentions to the people with psychiatric issues out there (accept the crazy kumquat lady lol). My mom's bi-polar and I spent the majority of my childhood visiting her at psych. hospitals. We have some family friends that have major psych problems too.)
> 
> Too bad she didn't know the meaning behind my Senegal's name lol. Her name is Isis. My African Grey's name is Scrabble, so I guess I'm ok by that name. lol <running off to check the Urban Dictionary>



You should have told her that you were married to Dick Butkus. Her head may have exploded.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I am a bit nervous about this weekend..If I could I would probably bite my nails!


----------



## Saoirse

MizzSnakeBite said:


> View attachment 72432
> 
> 
> View attachment 72433



what a beautiful birdie!! My co-worker has conure named Narfus and while he is indeed very nice to look at, he's VERY loud and aggressive.


----------



## Punkin1024

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC I am a bit nervous about this weekend..If I could I would probably bite my nails!



What's happening this weekend that has you so nervous?


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Getting my pic taken with the whole family..In-laws and G'baby included..I am afraid I wont look as nice as they do!


----------



## mergirl

BubbleButtBabe said:


> Getting my pic taken with the whole family..In-laws and G'baby included..I am afraid I wont look as nice as they do!


Sure you will!!.  It always makes me sad when find myself thinking "Oh i look a bit shit in that pic", when it is a capturing of a special occassion. I should be thinking- "I am there!". I hope you don't worry too much and that you enjoy hanging out with your family!!


----------



## Jane

Punkin1024 said:


> OneWickedAngel said:
> 
> 
> 
> Ella, if when you first joined Dims you were able to fit right in immediately and be happy, then that was wonderful for you. I'm sorry, but I found the "we're all fat, we're all here, just have a hug" feel of your post to be somewhat flippant and insulting of Mer, Angie, Jess and especially Kris' feelings.]
> 
> My apologies, please know I wasn't trying to be flippant. Of course, I put my foot in my mouth, since I didn't know there was a thread reference to all this. For what it's worth, I didn't feel I fit in with the general populace in here for a long time (I'm not single, I'm short, old...), but I stuck around because I still felt many in here could help me feel good about myself. I am guilty of not being around much anymore, therefore, I shouldn't have said a thing.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I read this, not having read the original post, and reread it. I walked away last night, and reread it this morning.
> 
> Ella, you have nothing to apologize for. You've been lovely and accepting of others.
> 
> Now to Jane's response: Are you fucking kidding me? Her "hug" response insulted you? Damn, lucky you haven't run into me before.
> 
> I don't look to Dimensions to make all my friendships. I never expected to find my life's fulfillment here. I just wanted to meet some other fat women, be supported and supportive, and talk with others who understand our unique challenges.
> 
> When one looks for offense, one finds it. Period. If you're not looking to be offended by what people say, you don't personalize everything. Now, if you would go back and read Mer's earliest posts, you would find some of the reasons she didn't feel instantly all warm and fuzzy here...oh wait, we don't have Hyde Park anymore, so you can't. (Damn I miss Hyde Park.)
> 
> You won't meet anyone nicer than Ella on here, and if her trying to be supportive was insulting...OMG! None of us were chosen first in sports teams. None of us saw ourselves when we looked at teen magazines. We have a commonality of experience. If we develop more than that here, we're damned lucky.
Click to expand...


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Punkin1024 said:


> My apologies, please know I wasn't trying to be flippant. Of course, I put my foot in my mouth, since I didn't know there was a thread reference to all this. For what it's worth, I didn't feel I fit in with the general populace in here for a long time (I'm not single, I'm short, old...), but I stuck around because I still felt many in here could help me feel good about myself. I am guilty of not being around much anymore, therefore, I shouldn't have said a thing.



No apologies needed; Ella. I don't know you very well but from what little I do know, I will concede, it is not you to be flippant. I think that is why your response took me by surprise and I reacted. We live long enough, we all get to taste our own toes eventually. Goodness knows I've swallowed up to my knees worth from time to time when posting on Dims.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Jane , not that you care, but I will acknowledge your post for one reason only: I can easily see that your tirade came from your obvious friendship and respect for Ella. 

You have been here long enough to get to know Ella well. I haven't been active on Dims long enough to have that experience. I have freely admitted as much in my recent response to her. Having just read (and re-read) your words I to had to step back a few moments before responding. You and I don't know each other at all, but apparently we do have one thing in common: coming in when we think a friend is being unnecessarily slighted and giving our two cents worth. 

So hi Pot, I'm Kettle...:bow:


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

mergirl said:


> Sure you will!!.  It always makes me sad when find myself thinking "Oh i look a bit shit in that pic", when it is a capturing of a special occassion. I should be thinking- "I am there!". I hope you don't worry too much and that you enjoy hanging out with your family!!




Thanks,I am going to try not to worry to much about it...This is something I have wanted for about 7 years and am finally getting it! It is just my way of thinking about pics..


----------



## Flutterby68

I confess that as much as I hate being the size I am, I don't have it in me to DO anything about it right now. Between depression, the of funds to buy healthier foods, and a damaged right shoulder interfering with exercise, it's just too hard right now. 

I also confess that my wardrobe is limited, but I'm too embarrassed to go on Freecycle and ask for bigger clothes.


----------



## Jane

OneWickedAngel said:


> Jane , not that you care, but I will acknowledge your post for one reason only: I can easily see that your tirade came from your obvious friendship and respect for Ella.
> 
> You have been here long enough to get to know Ella well. I haven't been active on Dims long enough to have that experience. I have freely admitted as much in my recent response to her. Having just read (and re-read) your words I to had to step back a few moments before responding. You and I don't know each other at all, but apparently we do have one thing in common: coming in when we think a friend is being unnecessarily slighted and giving our two cents worth.
> 
> So hi Pot, I'm Kettle...:bow:



Oh, hell, I come in when I'm need, wanted, not needed, not wanted. I'm an equal opportunity smarter-offer.

And, Hi, Kettle....signed Pot.


----------



## MisticalMisty

BubbleButtBabe said:


> Getting my pic taken with the whole family..In-laws and G'baby included..I am afraid I wont look as nice as they do!



You'll look fine mom. Just because Crystal and I will look like painted ladies, doesn't mean you need to do so as well


----------



## MisticalMisty

IC that Rob shaved my legs tonight and did a great job..no nicks or cuts..WOO to the HOO..

We are taking pics on Saturday. It's November. I'm thinking cool..so I purposely sought out some warmer clothes. The projected temperature for Saturday... 84 damn degrees.

I am going to melt. MELT. GAH


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

MisticalMisty said:


> You'll look fine mom. Just because Crystal and I will look like painted ladies, doesn't mean you need to do so as well





MisticalMisty said:


> IC that Rob shaved my legs tonight and did a great job..no nicks or cuts..WOO to the HOO..
> 
> We are taking pics on Saturday. It's November. I'm thinking cool..so I purposely sought out some warmer clothes. The projected temperature for Saturday... 84 damn degrees.
> 
> I am going to melt. MELT. GAH



I just don't want to look like death warmed over with 2 black eyes....LOL

You never can tell it might be 50 Sat and not 80..Remember we go up and down with these temps!

Tell Rob he did a good job!


----------



## Punkin1024

Flutterby68 said:


> I confess that as much as I hate being the size I am, I don't have it in me to DO anything about it right now. Between depression, the of funds to buy healthier foods, and a damaged right shoulder interfering with exercise, it's just too hard right now.
> 
> I also confess that my wardrobe is limited, but I'm too embarrassed to go on Freecycle and ask for bigger clothes.



Flutterby...If I'm not mistaken, you can flutter on over to the Fashion Thread and might possibly find some bargains there. I think I used to see quite a few posts of people selling clothes on E-Bay and such.


----------



## mszwebs

IC that I was thinking about someone from my past...the first man to really, really break my heart.

I couldn't remember for sure what day his birthday was...Nov. 12 or 15, so I pulled up a yahoo instant message archive (spanning 2 years) that I have not even though about in forever (and which I should delete, but I just can't)

I found out when his birthday is, not that it really matters, but I also found conversations from before things spun horribly out of control...and as much as I understand that he was a lying sack of shit...I loved him. And part of me always will.

And now I can't stop crying.


----------



## mossystate

Bella, that is some tough stuff to have to remember. So sorry. Delete can be a beautiful gift to yourself, and nothing about him. I know you know this.


----------



## katorade

mossystate said:


> Bella, that is some tough stuff to have to remember. So sorry. Delete can be a beautiful gift to yourself, and nothing about him. I know you know this.



Computer crashes can also be a gift from God, when there are files on your computer you just can't bring yourself to delete. Thank you, Windows ME, for being such crap and destroying evidence of my first boyfriend ever. As a very sensitive teenager with a trigger finger as strong as oatmeal, I needed that.


----------



## Tania

mszwebs said:


> ...and as much as I understand that he was a lying sack of shit...I loved him. And part of me always will.
> 
> And now I can't stop crying.



:'(

I feel you. *hugs*


----------



## LoveBHMS

mszwebs said:


> IC that I was thinking about someone from my past...the first man to really, really break my heart.
> 
> I couldn't remember for sure what day his birthday was...Nov. 12 or 15, so I pulled up a yahoo instant message archive (spanning 2 years) that I have not even though about in forever (and which I should delete, but I just can't)
> 
> I found out when his birthday is, not that it really matters, but I also found conversations from before things spun horribly out of control...and as much as I understand that he was a lying sack of shit...I loved him. And part of me always will.
> 
> And now I can't stop crying.



{{{double hugs}}}

I'd say "been there" but truthfully....still there. I know just how you feel.


----------



## littlefairywren

mszwebs said:


> IC that I was thinking about someone from my past...the first man to really, really break my heart.
> 
> I couldn't remember for sure what day his birthday was...Nov. 12 or 15, so I pulled up a yahoo instant message archive (spanning 2 years) that I have not even though about in forever (and which I should delete, but I just can't)
> 
> I found out when his birthday is, not that it really matters, but I also found conversations from before things spun horribly out of control...and as much as I understand that he was a lying sack of shit...I loved him. And part of me always will.
> 
> And now I can't stop crying.



Lots of ((((hugs)))). I am sorry


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

mszwebs said:


> IC that I was thinking about someone from my past...the first man to really, really break my heart.
> 
> I couldn't remember for sure what day his birthday was...Nov. 12 or 15, so I pulled up a yahoo instant message archive (spanning 2 years) that I have not even though about in forever (and which I should delete, but I just can't)
> 
> I found out when his birthday is, not that it really matters, but I also found conversations from before things spun horribly out of control...and as much as I understand that he was a lying sack of shit...I loved him. And part of me always will.
> 
> And now I can't stop crying.



Had the same thing happen to me and yeah, those archives are incredibly painful when you know what you know now. So sorry the bad feelings are back *hugs*


----------



## archivaltype

:bounce: :bounce:
IC that I'm super excited. And maybe, just maybe, a little smitten. :wubu:


----------



## littlefairywren

archivaltype said:


> :bounce: :bounce:
> IC that I'm super excited. And maybe, just maybe, a little smitten. :wubu:



Oooh, happy thoughts and good luck


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that I'm sleepy and I haven't read a lot in here yet. Be back later today (it's almost 1:00 a.m. here in Texas!). I'll see ya'll in here or on Facebook!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I was right...Pics with the family look great..Mine<oh the horror!> bleh,not so good..My Little chickadee was gorgeous,posing all over the place like a super model...lol


----------



## BBW4Chattery

IC that being a BBW isn't making me happy today. I found out the knots on the back of my legs are actually a sign that my achilles are close to rupturing. So, you know, I can lose 150 lbs by tomorrow... or just take every step really slowly just waiting for it to blow up as I fall to the ground.

Remind me not to go anywhere with a lot of stairs for a while...


----------



## MisticalMisty

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC I was right...Pics with the family look great..Mine<oh the horror!> bleh,not so good..My Little chickadee was gorgeous,posing all over the place like a super model...lol



Don't let her lie to you!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

OOOOOhhh Child you are so far down on my list right now!!!! Don't even ask Santa for help!!!!


----------



## Smushygirl

BubbleButtBabe said:


> OOOOOhhh Child you are so far down on my list right now!!!! Don't even ask Santa for help!!!!



BBB, I think you look great and should post more pics!!!


----------



## Isa

MisticalMisty said:


> Don't let her lie to you!




Thanks Misty, I knew she was fibbing.


----------



## littlefairywren

MisticalMisty said:


> Don't let her lie to you!



Oh, I am so glad you posted that pic Misty. I have been waiting for your Mum to post one on that other thread.....somewhat impatiently I may add
You BOTH look lovely, what a beautiful photo for the two of you to treasure.


----------



## Tania

You guys look great! Seriously.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Thank you ladies...That is very nice of you to say...I am completely embarrassed now...


----------



## Tania

I have another confession. Two, actually.

1. My eyes do not function in tandem. One is myopic, the other isn't. When I switch between them to focus at different distances, sometimes one of them will cross. It's not so noticeable when I wear my glasses, but in my contacts, it's more obvious.  It makes me look weird and ugly and I hate it.  My eye doctor suggested that cosmetic eye muscle surgery to make it less noticeable. Once I get the gutblob et al squared away, that's next on my body image crisis list. 

2. Men suck again. Mr. Perfect fucked up.


----------



## mossystate

Hey, Tania. I totally understand the not liking certain things about ones body. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all think more kind thoughts about ourselves, no matter what might stay the same...or change. Having said that, I have to say that I wish you would think about the kinds of ' names ' you give one of the parts of you you so dislike. ' Gutblob ' is really harsh to have to see on this forum ( in particular ). Again, not beating a ' confidence ' drum...ack...it's just that I have what you so despise, and while you are talking about you...I cringe when you put it the way you do.


----------



## Tania

Sorry - it's not intended to be a fat slight. "Blob" is my silly shorthand name for the deflated skin on my midriff.


----------



## littlefairywren

Tania said:


> 2. Men suck again. Mr. Perfect fucked up.



Sorry about your guy  Not much of a Mr. Perfect if he turned out to be a jerk. 
((((Tania))))


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tania said:


> I have another confession. Two, actually.
> 
> 1. My eyes do not function in tandem. One is myopic, the other isn't. When I switch between them to focus at different distances, sometimes one of them will cross. It's not so noticeable when I wear my glasses, but in my contacts, it's more obvious.  It makes me look weird and ugly and I hate it.  My eye doctor suggested that cosmetic eye muscle surgery to make it less noticeable. Once I get the gutblob et al squared away, that's next on my body image crisis list.
> 
> 2. Men suck again. Mr. Perfect fucked up.



I'm so sorry Mr. P turned out to be Mr. F-er  

Isn't it just a kinda slap in the face when you work so hard to lose weight, then you have to deal with all the body changes/issues that losing weight causes. I wish we could just lose weight and our body just morphs back to what it should be (no saggy skin, etc.)!

Hugs to you,
Mizz


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

IC: I'm so sick of being sick. I got the dreaded flu. And man, does it stick around. I'm not infectious or anything anymore, but I'm beyond exhausted. For almost a week I was sleeping 21hrs a day! I feel like I've been beaten.
Mizz Sick of Being Sick


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mergirl said:


> OMG.. your friends is bannanas! Making up imaginary scenarios for your imaginary child where there may be a possibility of there being a possible misunderstanding between an imaginary teacher and the afore mentioned imaginary child about your bird being named after a fruit but in the imaginary scenario they think its after something rude (which i still dont actually have a clue about). They would get sent to the imaginary head teachers office and you would have to get in your imaginary car (while we are imagining, might as well make it a porsh ) to go and sort out all the imaginary caffuffle!!!!
> I say you buy a parrot and call it cunt!



ROFLMAO 

We didn't even know this crazy woman!!! :blink:


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Saoirse said:


> what a beautiful birdie!! My co-worker has conure named Narfus and while he is indeed very nice to look at, he's VERY loud and aggressive.



He thanks you . Is the conure perhaps a Nanday Conure??


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Flutterby68 said:


> I confess that as much as I hate being the size I am, I don't have it in me to DO anything about it right now. Between depression, the of funds to buy healthier foods, and a damaged right shoulder interfering with exercise, it's just too hard right now.
> 
> I also confess that my wardrobe is limited, but I'm too embarrassed to go on Freecycle and ask for bigger clothes.



I hear ya. 
Hugs,
Mizz


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

BBW4Chattery said:


> IC that being a BBW isn't making me happy today. I found out the knots on the back of my legs are actually a sign that my achilles are close to rupturing. So, you know, I can lose 150 lbs by tomorrow... or just take every step really slowly just waiting for it to blow up as I fall to the ground.
> 
> Remind me not to go anywhere with a lot of stairs for a while...



omg, you poor thing!!!  I hope there's something they can do to lessen the chance of them rupturing!
Hugs,
Mizz


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

MisticalMisty said:


> Don't let her lie to you!



Lovely photo of the two of you!


----------



## OneWickedAngel

MisticalMisty said:


> Don't let her lie to you!



I agree; the both of you look fabulous!! I hope you're having that picture printed out somewhere and framed!


----------



## Tania

Thanks for understanding, guys. Devi, I hope you feel like yourself again soon.


----------



## luscious_lulu

MizzSnakeBite said:


> IC: I'm so sick of being sick. I got the dreaded flu. And man, does it stick around. I'm not infectious or anything anymore, but I'm beyond exhausted. For almost a week I was sleeping 21hrs a day! I feel like I've been beaten.
> Mizz Sick of Being Sick



Feel better *hugs*


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

MizzSnakeBite said:


> IC: I'm so sick of being sick. I got the dreaded flu. And man, does it stick around. I'm not infectious or anything anymore, but I'm beyond exhausted. For almost a week I was sleeping 21hrs a day! I feel like I've been beaten.
> Mizz Sick of Being Sick



So sorry,I hope you feel better soon! Doesn't help that our weather can't make up it's mind either..


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Lovely photo of the two of you!





OneWickedAngel said:


> I agree; the both of you look fabulous!! I hope you're having that picture printed out somewhere and framed!



Thank you Ladies!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Tania said:


> I have another confession. Two, actually.
> 
> 1. My eyes do not function in tandem. One is myopic, the other isn't. When I switch between them to focus at different distances, sometimes one of them will cross. It's not so noticeable when I wear my glasses, but in my contacts, it's more obvious.  It makes me look weird and ugly and I hate it.  My eye doctor suggested that cosmetic eye muscle surgery to make it less noticeable. Once I get the gutblob et al squared away, that's next on my body image crisis list.
> 
> 2. Men suck again. Mr. Perfect fucked up.



Tania,instead of seeing it as something bad how about seeing it as something unique..Something very unique to you...


Sorry he messed up...


----------



## Carrie

I confess to being puzzled, disappointed and irate that Mer's thread on OA was locked for talking about dieting (?). 

A passage from Wikipedia's page on OA: 



> *Overeaters Anonymous (OA) is a twelve-step program for people with problems related to food including, but not limited to, compulsive overeaters, those with binge eating disorder, bulimics and anorexics. Anyone with a problematic relationship with food is welcomed, as OA's Third Tradition states that the only requirement for memberships is a desire to stop eating compulsively.*[1]
> 
> OA was founded by Rozanne S. and two other women in January, 1960. The organization's headquarters, or World Service Office, are located in Rio Rancho, New Mexico.[2][3] Overeaters Anonymous estimates its membership at 54,000 people in 6,500 groups meeting in over 75 countries.[4] OA has developed its own literature specifically for those who eat compulsively but also uses the Alcoholics Anonymous books Alcoholics Anonymous[5] and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.[6] *The First Step of OA begins with the admission of powerlessness over food, the next eleven steps are intended to bring members "physical, emotional, and spiritual healing.*"[1]



So.... not a single word about dieting or weight loss (nor was there any in Mer's thread). Just for the record. A desire to develop a healthy relationship with food is NOT the same thing as looking for a diet, or wanting to lose weight.


----------



## Crystal

Carrie said:


> I confess to being puzzled, disappointed and irate that Mer's thread on OA was locked for talking about dieting (?).
> 
> A passage from Wikipedia's page on OA:
> 
> 
> 
> So.... not a single word about dieting or weight loss (nor was there any in Mer's thread). Just for the record. A desire to develop a healthy relationship with food is NOT the same thing as looking for a diet, or wanting to lose weight.




IC that I wondered the exact same thing.


----------



## kayrae

I'm going to a bar for an acquaintance's bday party. I don't want to go because the smoke inside is not good for my asthma. So I'm going to torture myself for an hour, then head to another club. 

I feel bad for always having an exit plan at parties. Ha.


----------



## Haunted

kayrae said:


> I'm going to a bar for an acquaintance's bday party. I don't want to go because the smoke inside is not good for my asthma. So I'm going to torture myself for an hour, then head to another club.
> 
> I feel bad for always having an exit plan at parties. Ha.



I had to read this twice ! Smoking in Public buildings (Bars, restaurants etc)
have been outlawed here for over 3 or 4 years now. i would have thought that San Fran would be the same by now too. Dont worry Kayrae the day is coming im sure


----------



## Tania

Wait...a bar...in California...where smoking is allowed? :/


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tania said:


> Thanks for understanding, guys. Devi, I hope you feel like yourself again soon.





luscious_lulu said:


> Feel better *hugs*





BubbleButtBabe said:


> So sorry,I hope you feel better soon! Doesn't help that our weather can't make up it's mind either..



Thanks ladies 

I still can't do much, but I'm slooooooooooooooowly getting better. Get your flu shots!!!!!


----------



## kayrae

It's a secret. There are bars that allow smoking.



Haunted said:


> I had to read this twice ! Smoking in Public buildings (Bars, restaurants etc)
> have been outlawed here for over 3 or 4 years now. i would have thought that San Fran would be the same by now too. Dont worry Kayrae the day is coming im sure


----------



## Isa

Carrie said:


> I confess to being puzzled, disappointed and irate that Mer's thread on OA was locked for talking about dieting (?).
> 
> A passage from Wikipedia's page on OA:
> 
> 
> So.... not a single word about dieting or weight loss (nor was there any in Mer's thread). Just for the record. A desire to develop a healthy relationship with food is NOT the same thing as looking for a diet, or wanting to lose weight.



Agreed but I guess in dimville seeking help for overeating is dieting in disguise because you know, like OMG, weight loss might accidentally happen as a result!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Isa said:


> Agreed but I guess in dimville seeking help for overeating is dieting in disguise because you know, like OMG, weight loss might accidentally happen as a result!



<snicker>


----------



## mergirl

Carrie said:


> I confess to being puzzled, disappointed and irate that Mer's thread on OA was locked for talking about dieting (?).
> 
> A passage from Wikipedia's page on OA:
> 
> 
> 
> So.... not a single word about dieting or weight loss (nor was there any in Mer's thread). Just for the record. A desire to develop a healthy relationship with food is NOT the same thing as looking for a diet, or wanting to lose weight.





CrystalUT11 said:


> IC that I wondered the exact same thing.





Isa said:


> Agreed but I guess in dimville seeking help for overeating is dieting in disguise because you know, like OMG, weight loss might accidentally happen as a result!





MizzSnakeBite said:


> <snicker>



I must confess i was a little anoyed by that too. I was in no way endorsing diet talk. Of the friends i have who have suffered from OE disorder, it is the out of control feeling that they have the biggest problem with. I think this issue is an important one and i have no idea why we are not allowed to talk about our experiences of it. I feel in this case maby it was a case of a mod with an over itchy trigger finger as i at no point talked about losing weight or diets. (Which was why the thread was closed down!?) Perhaps we can get a mod apology and a reopening?


----------



## vardon_grip

mergirl said:


> I must confess i was a little anoyed by that too. I was in no way endorsing diet talk. Of the friends i have who have suffered from OE disorder, it is the out of control feeling that they have the biggest problem with. I think this issue is an important one and i have no idea why we are not allowed to talk about our experiences of it. I feel in this case maby it was a case of a mod with an over itchy trigger finger as i at no point talked about losing weight or diets. (Which was why the thread was closed down!?) Perhaps we can get a mod apology and a reopening?



Agreed. I think that the moderator really messed up. I hope you get that apology and the thread re-opened.


----------



## Jes

mergirl said:


> (Which was why the thread was closed down!?) Perhaps we can get a mod apology and a reopening?



I had fully assumed that, by the next time I checked, it would've been reopened. I took a guess that sometimes, if a Mod thinks something crosses over an admittedly blurry line, a thread is put 'on hold' until it can be discussed.

Apparently I am wrong.

And to Tania (i think)--it's so frustrating when anything we've put blood, sweat and tears into doesn't go the way we want. Whether it's weight loss and resulting pooch, or putting in a lot of energy time and concern for the health of someone else, and it having no effect, etc. Pretty much anything we wish we could control entirely that we can't. Very frustrating.


----------



## ThatFatGirl

If I remember the OA meeting I attended many years ago, diet talk was very much NOT allowed.. much like Dims.

I seriously hope the thread gets reopened.


----------



## Crystal

Has anyone actually PM'd the mod who unnecessarily closed the thread or are we all just hoping that it will be reopened?


----------



## Carrie

CrystalUT11 said:


> Has anyone actually PM'd the mod who unnecessarily closed the thread or are we all just hoping that it will be reopened?


I used the "report" function on Olwen's post about locking the thread in question to express my feelings on the matter. Not sure who, exactly, will read it, or whether it will be addressed.


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

Carrie said:


> I used the "report" function on Olwen's post about locking the thread in question to express my feelings on the matter. Not sure who, exactly, will read it, or whether it will be addressed.



I just made a post in Steely's thread (sorry for using your thread as a soap box!) And if the post offends, delete it, do not close the effing thread.

OA taught me a lot about NOT DIETING!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

COE/Food Addict that has been to OA meetings in the house. Eating disorders have been mentioned here alot by various people over the years. A thread about it isn't allowed?

I suppose that's just one more push to show us what this place is really about and exactly who it is for......


----------



## rainyday

I used the report function yesterday too. I suspect that unless someone's had experience with OA the general perception is that it's a diet/weight loss group. It's not. 

I'm also hoping that thread is reopened. We've talked about eating disorders many times on various boards here. It seems odd to block discussion of it in that thread alone.


ETA: I see you just said kind of the same thing about past discussions, Greenie. So just put me down as "ditto."


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

rainyday said:


> ETA: I see you just said kinda the same thing about past discussions, Greenie. So just put me down as "ditto."



So I wasn't imagining it, lol. I was sure I had disclosed that I had an eating disorder here before....a few times.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

BeautifulPoeticDisaster said:


> So I wasn't imagining it, lol. I was sure I had disclosed that I had an eating disorder here before....a few times.



I have yacked about my addiction/eating disorder steadily since I hit these boards three years ago. I have seen others do so, as well. I have even regaled Dims as being a helpful kind of place for those types of issues. 

Hate to see such useful discussion smacked down without more information.....

Eating disorders ARE "fat-centric"


----------



## steely

BeautifulPoeticDisaster said:


> I just made a post in Steely's thread (sorry for using your thread as a soap box!) And if the post offends, delete it, do not close the effing thread.
> 
> OA taught me a lot about NOT DIETING!



No problem, I was gaining some useful information. It bothered me that the thread was closed.


----------



## Tania

I know Grace and I cover the ana-lemic end of the eating disorder spectrum pretty constantly.


----------



## Punkin1024

Recently, someone confronted me with this "You need to spend more time with your real friends." My "real" friends never call me or come by or ask us over for dinner, so are they really friends? I feel closer to my on-line community friends. What do you all think?


----------



## littlefairywren

Punkin1024 said:


> Recently, someone confronted me with this "You need to spend more time with your real friends." My "real" friends never call me or come by or ask us over for dinner, so are they really friends? I feel closer to my on-line community friends. What do you all think?



You know Punkin, I feel the same. I get more support here than I do from my "real" friends. It is not a very nice thought, but there you have it.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Punkin1024 said:


> Recently, someone confronted me with this "You need to spend more time with your real friends." My "real" friends never call me or come by or ask us over for dinner, so are they really friends? I feel closer to my on-line community friends. What do you all think?





littlefairywren said:


> You know Punkin, I feel the same. I get more support here than I do from my "real" friends. It is not a very nice thought, but there you have it.



Yup, you find a wider pool of people online than IRL that share your same concerns and frustrations, and because of that, you get more support from the online community you find yourself most comfortable in.


----------



## mergirl

CrystalUT11 said:


> Has anyone actually PM'd the mod who unnecessarily closed the thread or are we all just hoping that it will be reopened?


Yeah.. i also reported the thread to say that i thought it was unfair it was closed. The reasoning behind it being closed was that there was 'no diet talk allowed'...There was no diet talk discussed. Mod mistake...reopen thread.. no? 
I don't want to harp on about it too much as i may get infracted or even banned if i continue. I'm like a nervous wreck, up to high doh, walking on eggshells here!!!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I hate the thoughts of the holidays coming...I hate the rush and most of all I hate that people forget what the season is suppose to mean..


----------



## goofy girl

Warning... squeamish people please don't read this  



This is more of a what's annoying me now, but I don't think we have one of those, so IC that I REALLY hate periods!! We have to bleed for a week every month which is bad enough...but on top of that we have to deal with the mood swings, cramps from hell that make me want to rip my uterus out, migraines and the atomic period poops. AND BLEED TOO?!??!?!


Sometimes I really think our creator was a male :doh:


----------



## butch

Just an fyi, the OA thread is under discussion. Sometimes these things take longer than we all would like, and I apologize if it seems like the reported posts and other notices about the perceptions of the thread have been ignored. They haven't, it is just that at this point, there doesn't seem to be anything useful to report one way or the other right now. I know this response is less than ideal, but I hope it helps a small bit.

-Butch, one of the BBW Forum mods.


----------



## mossystate

Of all the things I read that make me squeamish, that is not even in the top 100. And...remember...this place is full of wimminses. Anybody else reading...well, oh well! 

My periods are winding down. I have only recently had to deal with any kind of real cramping. I was lucky when I was younger. The blood has never fazed me, and since I have had a billion years to put up with the poops and anything else, I just take most of it in stride. The moodiness...eh...everybody is moody. Sometimes it is an annoyance when I bleed on something that did not deserve the paint job.  When it is a chair not belonging to me, well, there is a laugh in there...right? lol

Not reducing any experiences of others, as this monthly parade takes many forms and detours. It is going to be weird when my periods stop. I am neutral about them ending...but there is something pretty about the color. What can I say...women are artists, just by being women. And I might be a little weird........ Shhhhush.

I won't say what the roomie says when I have forgotten to flush, when I have peed in the middle of the night, while having my period. He is a funny boy.


----------



## goofy girl

Ugh...mine are horrible. I wish I could take a vacation from myself for a week. I'm in so much pain. Steve is super sweet to me about it. I think he doesn't mind the moodiness because it always ends with me in tears, which means he gets to snuggle me LOL


----------



## Carrie

butch said:


> Just an fyi, the OA thread is under discussion. Sometimes these things take longer than we all would like, and I apologize if it seems like the reported posts and other notices about the perceptions of the thread have been ignored. They haven't, it is just that at this point, there doesn't seem to be anything useful to report one way or the other right now. I know this response is less than ideal, but I hope it helps a small bit.
> 
> -Butch, one of the BBW Forum mods.


It helps a great deal, Butchie, thank you very much! Nobody likes thinking their concerns have been sucked into a vortex, so this means a lot.


----------



## littlefairywren

goofy girl said:


> Warning... squeamish people please don't read this
> 
> 
> 
> This is more of a what's annoying me now, but I don't think we have one of those, so IC that I REALLY hate periods!! We have to bleed for a week every month which is bad enough...but on top of that we have to deal with the mood swings, cramps from hell that make me want to rip my uterus out, migraines and the atomic period poops. AND BLEED TOO?!??!?!
> 
> 
> Sometimes I really think our creator was a male :doh:



OMG yes! I have dreadful time too. I hear you loud and clear.
Boo, I say boo to periods. In fact they should be called something else.....period sounds so flippant, when you have what feels like a chainsaw ripping up your insides


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> chainsaw ripping up your insides



Maybe it should be called that
Mizz in Her Chainsaw Ripping Up Your Insides


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Punkin1024 said:


> Recently, someone confronted me with this "You need to spend more time with your real friends." My "real" friends never call me or come by or ask us over for dinner, so are they really friends? I feel closer to my on-line community friends. What do you all think?



I have had that happen as well Ella but it seems once they confront you then you melt into the ground..You never hear from them again...My on line friends ask me once a day how I am doing and if they do not see or hear from me I am getting emails...


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

I am sorry to hear all of you ladies have such bad periods...To bad there isn't some kind of miracle pill you could take to get rid of all of the bad..


----------



## Punkin1024

Ah, the horrible menstrual woes. I'm 53, and by this time I'd have thought I'd be in menopause, but, still having to deal with "Auntie Flo". Ugh! I feel your pain Bridget! I know to avoid certain food groups during that time, seems to lessen the pain and intestinal problems. I drink Soy milk and I take Black Cohosh. Herbal teas seem to help as well as eating peanuts, fresh fruit, and veggies. I try to stay away from fried foods and beef because they seem to trigger more discomfort and constipate me. Oh and yogurt is good too - especially the Activia yogurt. Hope this helps.


----------



## Weeze

IC i'm glad that i am not the only one that gets period poops....

When I get a period, that is. It's been since april, and no, i'm not pregnant.


----------



## mergirl

butch said:


> Just an fyi, the OA thread is under discussion. Sometimes these things take longer than we all would like, and I apologize if it seems like the reported posts and other notices about the perceptions of the thread have been ignored. They haven't, it is just that at this point, there doesn't seem to be anything useful to report one way or the other right now. I know this response is less than ideal, but I hope it helps a small bit.
> 
> -Butch, one of the BBW Forum mods.


Thanks for telling us Butch.
x


----------



## DeniseW

mine are horrible too and by the looks of things, I'll be having it smack dab in the middle of my trip to DC, yay me!!! Menopause can't get here fast enough.






goofy girl said:


> Ugh...mine are horrible. I wish I could take a vacation from myself for a week. I'm in so much pain. Steve is super sweet to me about it. I think he doesn't mind the moodiness because it always ends with me in tears, which means he gets to snuggle me LOL


----------



## BeautifulPoeticDisaster

butch said:


> Just an fyi, the OA thread is under discussion. Sometimes these things take longer than we all would like, and I apologize if it seems like the reported posts and other notices about the perceptions of the thread have been ignored. They haven't, it is just that at this point, there doesn't seem to be anything useful to report one way or the other right now. I know this response is less than ideal, but I hope it helps a small bit.
> 
> -Butch, one of the BBW Forum mods.




At least we know we have been heard.


----------



## mergirl

Actually, normally, my periods arn't that bad. I used to get really bad cramps every month but now i get maby one or two HORRIBLE periods in a year. I just had one.. I am normally in synch with GD but i was a week behind so i think my body was all like.. "OK.. PERIOD!!!!!" I had gut wrenching cramps-It felt like they were in my arse and my back too gah!! I bled so heavily too and only for two days, so last night and today i feel so drained and sick and just horrible..Goddam periods!!! GODDAAAAAM YOU!!!!! 
Sorry.. no more period talk from me.. i just had to have a wee moan cause my gf just sent me to bed last night cause i was being grumpy cause i felt ill, so i had no one to moan to about my woes!! lmao .. She was right though.. i don't like being around people when i don't feel well..which is weird.


----------



## mossystate

I think a mans body, allowing for personal preferences, is as beautiful as a womans body. I will never understand the thought that a man body is clunky and not aesthetically pleasing to the eye. Perhaps one needs a certain kind of eye that is able to appreciate all the shapes and textures that the planet holds...whether in regards to humans...or to the natural world. I think so many are too caught up in what is force fed them, in terms of what is appealing. It also means that women are held to a higher standard. And, it dismisses the part of the woman that reacts...sometimes strongly, and with great lust, what her eyes take in, telling her that she should be more about the internal. Just weird and suffocating thinking. Seems so far removed from any innate spark. Society telling people what is appealing..and the masses tend to drink the kool-aid.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mossystate said:


> I think a mans body, allowing for personal preferences, is as beautiful as a womans body.



:bow:

I sooooooooooo agree with you mossy!!! When I see Greek statues of men, I think they're beautiful. I know plenty of men would be grumbling if they knew I thought their body was beautiful, but it really is a high compliment! I hear so many men saying their body's are weird, gross, strange, etc, looking, and I just don't even know what to say! Male bodies are fantastic, all the planes, muscle, sinew. Ours are all soft, but I just love the strength of theirs. Male and female bodies are beautiful in different ways.

:wubu: men

Mizz


----------



## littlefairywren

mossystate said:


> I think a mans body, allowing for personal preferences, is as beautiful as a womans body. I will never understand the thought that a man body is clunky and not aesthetically pleasing to the eye. Perhaps one needs a certain kind of eye that is able to appreciate all the shapes and textures that the planet holds...whether in regards to humans...or to the natural world. I think so many are too caught up in what is force fed them, in terms of what is appealing. It also means that women are held to a higher standard. And, it dismisses the part of the woman that reacts...sometimes strongly, and with great lust, what her eyes take in, telling her that she should be more about the internal. Just weird and suffocating thinking. Seems so far removed from any innate spark. Society telling people what is appealing..and the masses tend to drink the kool-aid.





MizzSnakeBite said:


> :bow:
> 
> I sooooooooooo agree with you mossy!!! When I see Greek statues of men, I think they're beautiful. I know plenty of men would be grumbling if they knew I thought their body was beautiful, but it really is a high compliment! I hear so many men saying their body's are weird, gross, strange, etc, looking, and I just don't even know what to say! Male bodies are fantastic, all the planes, muscle, sinew. Ours are all soft, but I just love the strength of theirs. Male and female bodies are beautiful in different ways.
> 
> :wubu: men
> 
> Mizz



Yes, yes, yes.......they are beautiful

OMG, I just worked out how to multi-quote. Dances a jig happily!


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Maybe it should be called that
> Mizz in Her Chainsaw Ripping Up Your Insides



Perfect, I have a new name for the CURSE from now on!:bow:


----------



## Punkin1024

I spent most of the day in bed sleeping off a tummy virus. Hubby had it too, but he must not have had it as badly as me, because he was up at the crack of dawn going about his usual chores. Me, I felt sick enough to call in sick to work. I've been trying to avoid calling in sick all year as that is one of the things I got a bad mark on in my review last year. I guess I'm better now. I had baked chicken, potatoes and peas with a little gravy for supper and no complaints from the tummy. Yea!


----------



## fatgirlflyin

I suppose if you believe in god that works. I personally don't choose to believe that I have a period monthly because some naked woman ate an apple from a tree she wasn't supposed to...


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> Yes, yes, yes.......they are beautiful
> 
> OMG, I just worked out how to multi-quote. Dances a jig happily!



LOLLOL I just usually forget to use the multi-quote  lol



littlefairywren said:


> Perfect, I have a new name for the CURSE from now on!:bow:



You're very welcome . 

Men have no clue, and it's quite dangerous for a man to start complaining about what women are like when they're having their Chainsaw Ripping Up Their Insides......especially when surrounded by women going through their Chainsaw Ripping Up Their Insides......just a tip and a hint for any man out there......


----------



## mossystate

Vardon, I am hoping you are spending as much time on the fa forum, speaking against the sexism that pops up...there. You seem to dislike it, a lot. Thanks!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

IC: I once had the funniest conversations with this man that was wise in the way women work. He said the phrase "head for the hills" was meant for men...that there was a shack in "the hills" that men went (ran) to to hide out until it was safe (S.O. not in her Chainsaw Ripping Out Her Insides, forgot their anniversary, etc) to return (and return with flowers ). 

Our discussions inspired Scrabble, being a male parrot, to write an article for a newsletter on how to woo a hen.   My baby's so talented . I thought I heard the click of the keyboard in the middle of the night.....I told him to ask permission to use the puter first, but an artist must work when inspiration hits.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Would somebody give Mossy some Rep for me? It won't let me rep her .

:wubu: mossy
:bow: to da mossy

Thank you!
Mizz


----------



## KittyKitten

_*I confess, being a Cancerian, I am extremely passionate about my beliefs. If I sound mean in my posts, it is not my intention--it is just pure passion mixed in with logic. Some times I go against the grain of what people think and some may be offended. Oh well, that is me, Yvonne. I'm the sweetest person but I can be a witch when pushed.*_


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

happyface83 said:


> _* I'm the sweetest person but I can be a witch when pushed.*_



I'm the same way even though I'm a Libra.


----------



## Carrie

happyface83 said:


> _*I confess, being a Cancerian, I am extremely passionate about my beliefs. If I sound mean in my posts, it is not my intention--it is just pure passion mixed in with logic. Some times I go against the grain of what people think and some may be offended. Oh well, that is me, Yvonne. I'm the sweetest person but I can be a witch when pushed.*_


Hi, Yvonne! Nice to see you posting here. I wanted to give you a constructive suggestion, made in a friendly and helpful spirit. The large, bold, italicized red font you're using is hard on a reader's eyes, and also tends to convey an aggressiveness that I'm guessing you probably don't intend. You might want to consider using a smaller, not bold font if you want to use red, or larger font but no red, something like that. 

Just a suggestion. :happy:


----------



## KittyKitten

Carrie said:


> Hi, Yvonne! Nice to see you posting here. I wanted to give you a constructive suggestion, made in a friendly and helpful spirit. The large, bold, italicized red font you're using is hard on a reader's eyes, and also tends to convey an aggressiveness that I'm guessing you probably don't intend. You might want to consider using a smaller, not bold font if you want to use red, or larger font but no red, something like that.
> 
> Just a suggestion. :happy:



No prob, I'll go for another color and smaller font. It's a bad habit I picked up from other message boards.


----------



## Carrie

Something happened today to make me think that my fat-hating father might be ready to see past his prejudices and actually see his daughter. The possibility of building a relationship with him does not seem as unlikely as it did even a day ago. I want to protect and nourish this tiny, fragile little hope like a crocus that's bloomed a few days after a big snow.


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that I had my evening routine shuffled around a bit and it's making me antsy!


----------



## mergirl

Carrie said:


> Something happened today to make me think that my fat-hating father might be ready to see past his prejudices and actually see his daughter. The possibility of building a relationship with him does not seem as unlikely as it did even a day ago. I want to protect and nourish this tiny, fragile little hope like a crocus that's bloomed a few days after a big snow.


Thats wonderful.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Carrie said:


> Something happened today to make me think that my fat-hating father might be ready to see past his prejudices and actually see his daughter. The possibility of building a relationship with him does not seem as unlikely as it did even a day ago. I want to protect and nourish this tiny, fragile little hope like a crocus that's bloomed a few days after a big snow.



That is great Carrie..I hope it works out for you!


----------



## Punkin1024

Carrie said:


> Something happened today to make me think that my fat-hating father might be ready to see past his prejudices and actually see his daughter. The possibility of building a relationship with him does not seem as unlikely as it did even a day ago. I want to protect and nourish this tiny, fragile little hope like a crocus that's bloomed a few days after a big snow.



This is a wonderful thing, Carrie. I've noticed that as my step-Dad has aged that he has mellowed a lot. I think the older they get, the more they realize how precious is their relationship with their daughters.


----------



## littlefairywren

Carrie said:


> Something happened today to make me think that my fat-hating father might be ready to see past his prejudices and actually see his daughter. The possibility of building a relationship with him does not seem as unlikely as it did even a day ago. I want to protect and nourish this tiny, fragile little hope like a crocus that's bloomed a few days after a big snow.



Carrie, all the luck in the world, for it working out with both you and your Dad


----------



## Carrie

mergirl said:


> Thats wonderful.





BubbleButtBabe said:


> That is great Carrie..I hope it works out for you!





Punkin1024 said:


> This is a wonderful thing, Carrie. I've noticed that as my step-Dad has aged that he has mellowed a lot. I think the older they get, the more they realize how precious is their relationship with their daughters.





littlefairywren said:


> Carrie, all the luck in the world, for it working out with both you and your Dad


Thank you all so much. I'm very, very _cautiously_ excited. :happy:


----------



## Punkin1024

I watched the new Star Trek movie this evening and I confess that I fell in love again with the Dr. "Bones" McCoy character. Karl Urban did a fine job in this role and I hope there are plans in the future for him to reprise his role as Dr. McCoy.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

IC I probably should not post on Dims when sleep deprived. My snark inhibitor was completely disengaged last night. :blush:

I usually have mercy for newbs who innocently post stupid things and then have their asses handed to them for it, but not this time. Even after reading it again this morning, if I had the option of deletion I would leave my comment there


----------



## Tania

IC that my shit timing is making me really, really sad. I'm chatting with someone I dated briefly at the end of the summer, and the way he talks is depressing as hell. He doesn't trust people. He doesn't get attached easily. Why the hell do they always come to me so damaged that they can't meet me halfway, or otherwise unavailable?


----------



## ep3er

I confess I am still in love with my wife. We filed for divorce a couple of months ago but I will not give up. I miss her sooo freaking much and will do everything in my power to get back together.


----------



## butch

ep3er said:


> I confess I am still in love with my wife. We filed for divorce a couple of months ago but I will not give up. I miss her sooo freaking much and will do everything in my power to get back together.



ep3er, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I hope you feel better soon. 

As a moderator of this forum, though, I have to point out your confession is an odd fit with the intent of this forum, which is for BBWs to post about their experiences, observations, and lives as larger women. In the future, could I suggest you post on other 'Confessions' threads, which can be found in almost every other forum on this message board. If you're a BHM, you could post this confession on the BHM/FFA forum, for example. If you are a FA, you could post this on the FA/FFA Forum, as another example.

Thank you for understanding, and if you are curious about the parameters of this forum, you can find a sticky thread at the top of this forum explaining all the rules and expectations of the BBW Forum.


----------



## Jane

ep3er said:


> I confess I am still in love with my wife. We filed for divorce a couple of months ago but I will not give up. I miss her sooo freaking much and will do everything in my power to get back together.



Sorry, this sounds like the mentality under which "Stalker Ex-husbands" work. Don't do anything to intimidate her, please.


----------



## Punkin1024

I received several compliments today. It made me feel wonderful.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Punkin1024 said:


> I received several compliments today. It made me feel wonderful.




How nice- what did they say?


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC trying to be friends with my ex just hasn't been working. 

We just end up hurting each other. I'm tired of crying.


----------



## comaseason

IC the last week or so I've had really awful nightmares every night. Going to try to do yoga before I go to bed to see if that will relax me a little and help things.


----------



## littlefairywren

luscious_lulu said:


> IC trying to be friends with my ex just hasn't been working.
> 
> We just end up hurting each other. I'm tired of crying.



Hugs (((((luscious_lulu))))), feel better. Does not work for me and my ex either.


----------



## Punkin1024

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> How nice- what did they say?



"You're so beautiful". "You look so pretty today". (And not from my hubby - from some ladies at church.)

IC tomorrow Hubby and I will celebrate anniversary 31! Nothing spectacular this year, but we'll probably eat a lite meal and perhaps watch a movie.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Punkin1024 said:


> "You're so beautiful". "You look so pretty today". (And not from my hubby - from some ladies at church.)
> 
> IC tomorrow Hubby and I will celebrate anniversary 31! Nothing spectacular this year, but we'll probably eat a lite meal and perhaps watch a movie.



Congratulations to you both Ella! :happy:


----------



## mszwebs

Punkin1024 said:


> "You're so beautiful". "You look so pretty today". (And not from my hubby - from some ladies at church.)
> 
> IC tomorrow Hubby and I will celebrate anniversary 31! Nothing spectacular this year, but we'll probably eat a lite meal and perhaps watch a movie.



Happy Anniversary Ella


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Punkin1024 said:


> "You're so beautiful". "You look so pretty today". (And not from my hubby - from some ladies at church.)
> 
> IC tomorrow Hubby and I will celebrate anniversary 31! Nothing spectacular this year, but we'll probably eat a lite meal and perhaps watch a movie.



I hope you have a great anniversary, 31 years is a great accomplishment! I hope to get there one day.


----------



## iamaJenny

I confess that I wish that I was prettier and thinner....not stick thin just more in the 205-230 lb range. 

I confess that constantly wishing I was prettier and thinner usually only makes me feel uglier and more depressed so come to think of it I should probably just quit it

I also confess(this is my last one, I promise) that cruising this website and reading the things that all of you wonderful women write somehow magically gives me more confidence. :bow:


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Welcome IamaJenny! 

Keep cruisin'! You'll find that magical confidence will slowly but surely follow to the mirror and shut that negative wishing the hell up. Then wait 'till you see what happens when you start to hold on to that self-confidence and take it out the front door. Even better, you already know we can't bring out what's not already in there; so come on and start letting that magic shine!!






Welcome to Dims! :happy:


----------



## DitzyBrunette

iamaJenny said:


> I also confess(this is my last one, I promise) that cruising this website and reading the things that all of you wonderful women write somehow magically gives me more confidence. :bow:



^^ This is how I felt when I first joined Dims. I'd never even heard of this site before earlier this year. The women who have been involved with Domensions and SA for many many years are an inspiration. They have great confidence, I was amazed when I first joined to see the things I was reading. Welcome to Dims, btw 

My confession for the moment is I just feel so blah lately. I was sick for literally all of October (even on my birthday!), had the flu, and add asthma on top of that and I was a hot mess. I ended up in the ER twice and the second time I had to be admitted. It was a month of no makeup, sweats every day, messy hair, no perfume, my bedroom was becoming a disaster - thank GOD for my Mom and my sister taking care of my son while I was sick or I don't know what I would've done. But anyway because of the severity of the asthma attacks (which hadn't happened in 10 years) my chest was extremely sore, my lungs needed so much time to recuperate, I was afraid to even move for fear of ending up in the hospital again. I finally started to recover but I feel like after so much time being so blah that I can't get back that va-va-va-voom feeling I used to have every day when I'd get dressed for the day. I let myself go for a month and I gotta get my groove back.


----------



## KittyKitten

*This is a deep post because I know most everyone on here hates me. It hurts trying to connect with your fellow BBW sisters and they dislike you. And I'm going to write it here since this seems to be the most intimate board on the site. People call me a troll, but I am not.

During the days, I feel so great and happy-I live my life, tutor kids in school, take classes, spend time with my love. But at night I feel dark, insecure and gloomy. I have made some accomplishments in my life, but sometimes I feel worthless and dislike myself. I hate myself sometimes for being a jerk online. After I let it out, I feel depressed again. I just want everyone to have support for me. I'm learning to control being upset and sometimes I take my frustrations online and offline I am more quiet and nice. I know I may say harsh words but it is really nothing personal and I never mean it. I want to apologize for offending anyone. I'm still working on fully loving myself at 26. *


----------



## Isa

DitzyBrunette said:


> My confession for the moment is I just feel so blah lately. I was sick for literally all of October (even on my birthday!), had the flu, and add asthma on top of that and I was a hot mess. I ended up in the ER twice and the second time I had to be admitted. It was a month of no makeup, sweats every day, messy hair, no perfume, my bedroom was becoming a disaster - thank GOD for my Mom and my sister taking care of my son while I was sick or I don't know what I would've done. But anyway because of the severity of the asthma attacks (which hadn't happened in 10 years) my chest was extremely sore, my lungs needed so much time to recuperate, I was afraid to even move for fear of ending up in the hospital again. I finally started to recover but I feel like after so much time being so blah that I can't get back that va-va-va-voom feeling I used to have every day when I'd get dressed for the day. I let myself go for a month and I gotta get my groove back.



Getting your health back is the first step, everything else will fall into place. Give it time.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Congrats Ella!! 

Hope you feel better soon Ditzy. 


Sorry Lulu but being friends does not work no matter how hard you try,hugsss..

HappyFace,number one do away with the bold large fonts..No one can really read it when it is that big and bold,plus no more colors please..If you know that you are being a jerk online then I would suggest stop being one..Number two and this one might be the hardest one(I imagine I will get flack for it),stop using race as a way to answer something..We here have gone through the wringer,it doesn't matter the color of our skin,what matters is that we come here to join in camaraderie and discuss how we feel about how the outside world perceives us..We come to discuss life in general and how we deal with it..We all want to join in the sisterhood and be good to one another..Number three,if you know you are being harsh then it is time to walk away from the comp screen and do something else until you either calm down or can say things in a constructive way..I don't think you are a troll personally..I think you are someone craving attention so much that you are going about it the wrong way to get the attention you seek..It seems to me that you are trying to be harsh so someone,anyone will notice and answer you..That is just the way I see it..I am sorry if it upsets you and I do not mean it to..I just think you need to step back and take a long look at somethings...


----------



## DitzyBrunette

Isa said:


> Getting your health back is the first step, everything else will fall into place. Give it time.



This is what my Mother keeps saying  For the first couple weeks she was babying me like I was a little kid again. It's probably becaue I never get sick so this was shocking. But yes, I'm trying to be patient and not be SuperMom-SuperWoman. Most women can relate to that, even if we get sick we still try to keep doing everything! 



BubbleButtBabe said:


> Hope you feel better soon Ditzy.



Thanks  Almost there!


----------



## fatgirlflyin

IC that it makes me angry to see someone posting here at Dims include the word fat when hurling insults. It makes me wonder what the hell they are here for...


----------



## KittyKitten

BubbleButtBabe said:


> Congrats Ella!!
> 
> Hope you feel better soon Ditzy.
> 
> 
> Sorry Lulu but being friends does not work no matter how hard you try,hugsss..
> 
> HappyFace,number one do away with the bold large fonts..No one can really read it when it is that big and bold,plus no more colors please..If you know that you are being a jerk online then I would suggest stop being one..Number two and this one might be the hardest one(I imagine I will get flack for it),stop using race as a way to answer something..We here have gone through the wringer,it doesn't matter the color of our skin,what matters is that we come here to join in camaraderie and discuss how we feel about how the outside world perceives us..We come to discuss life in general and how we deal with it..We all want to join in the sisterhood and be good to one another..Number three,if you know you are being harsh then it is time to walk away from the comp screen and do something else until you either calm down or can say things in a constructive way..I don't think you are a troll personally..I think you are someone craving attention so much that you are going about it the wrong way to get the attention you seek..It seems to me that you are trying to be harsh so someone,anyone will notice and answer you..That is just the way I see it..I am sorry if it upsets you and I do not mean it to..I just think you need to step back and take a long look at somethings...



Thank you. I live in a surburban area and I feel that being mixed race/dark skinned people look down upon me. I feel people judge me on what they see on BET and stereotypes of dark-skinned people. I'm working on shedding that thinking. 


I feel that if we talk about sexual orietation no one gets defensive. But when I bring up racial issues, some people jump and become defensive. Why is that? The same male poster who started a thread about sexual orientation, became angry and insulting towards me because I put up a post about race relations. What sense does that make?

When I first joined this site, I was a pretty, calm poster wanting to connect with other BBWs until I said something from the bottom of my heart of what I think about a certain subject and two females jumped at me. It was throughout that I started becoming more angry at this board because people were jumping at me for every little thing, no matter how innocent, they think I have a double meaning. I find that this board isn't a very welcoming place.

I noticed too, that people responded more to a 'negative' post. When I'm just being funny and sweet, no one says anything. So I'm branded a negative poster because they see what they want to see. 



If I say something that is considered 'negative', and someone jumps at me for it, that makes me even angrier. That tag team match and insulting just makes me madder. When people come at you with pitched forks, I draw my claws in defense. And these women know who they are, that was pretty catty of them. What does it solve insulting and attacking me for an opinion? That doesn't help matters.

But thank you for your support, I'm trying to work on having a happier outlook on the boards. It's a work in progress..........


----------



## mergirl

happyface83 said:


> Thank you. I live in a surburban area and I feel that being mixed race/dark skinned people look down upon me. I feel people judge me on what they see on BET and stereotypes of dark-skinned people. I'm working on shedding that thinking.
> 
> 
> I feel that if we talk about sexual orietation no one gets defensive. But when I bring up racial issues, some people jump and become defensive. Why is that? The same male poster who started a thread about sexual orientation, became angry and insulting towards me because I put up a post about race relations. What sense does that make?
> .



I'm not sure why people should get defensive when talking about sexual orientation and i don't see the comparison!?. Anyway, there was a thread in hydepark a while ago and we talked all about racism. There was no defence or anger just discussion. Though, if you attack people (regardless of race) they will be defensive (regardless of what you are talking about).


----------



## littlefairywren

Moved...thanks for that OWA


----------



## iamaJenny

happyface83 said:


> *This is a deep post because I know most everyone on here hates me. It hurts trying to connect with your fellow BBW sisters and they dislike you. And I'm going to write it here since this seems to be the most intimate board on the site. People call me a troll, but I am not.
> 
> During the days, I feel so great and happy-I live my life, tutor kids in school, take classes, spend time with my love. But at night I feel dark, insecure and gloomy. I have made some accomplishments in my life, but sometimes I feel worthless and dislike myself. I hate myself sometimes for being a jerk online. After I let it out, I feel depressed again. I just want everyone to have support for me. I'm learning to control being upset and sometimes I take my frustrations online and offline I am more quiet and nice. I know I may say harsh words but it is really nothing personal and I never mean it. I want to apologize for offending anyone. I'm still working on fully loving myself at 26. *




Aww,(that's my sympathy noise by the way) why do you feel like everyone on here hates you? I'm new here but I'm pretty sure these ladies don't "hate" you. They probably just disagree with most of the things you say and/or how you word them. I doubt it's real, genuine hate though...


----------



## Ruffie

I confess that I am feeling a little overwhelmed with all I have been dealing with these past couple of weeks. Don't have my energy back fully from the flu, then dealing with issues with staff, flood in basement last week, and the kids at work with the holidays coming on are going through so much. Add Christmas stuff to do on top of that and I just feel drained. I will get through it all-always do but just had to put those feelings out there.


----------



## steely

I confess that while looking forward to tomorrow, I am afraid of my reaction when tomorrow comes. I don't want to have a breakdown. They say the first holidays after a loss are the hardest. Say a little prayer that I make through...


----------



## TraciJo67

steely said:


> I confess that while looking forward to tomorrow, I am afraid of my reaction when tomorrow comes. I don't want to have a breakdown. They say the first holidays after a loss are the hardest. Say a little prayer that I make through...



((( Amy )))

You will make it through. No matter what happens, you will make it through tomorrow and the days to come and at some point you'll be looking back at them with a new perspective and with wisdom and your loss will still feel monumental but it won't have the same raw, aching edges that make you feel drained and sapped of energy and of all hope. You will get there. I know you will.


----------



## mergirl

Amy..What Traci just said. Sorry i have nothing more to add. I will be thinking of you tommorow. x


----------



## Sugar

steely said:


> I confess that while looking forward to tomorrow, I am afraid of my reaction when tomorrow comes. I don't want to have a breakdown. They say the first holidays after a loss are the hardest. Say a little prayer that I make through...



((((Amy)))) I will keep you in my thoughts.


----------



## mergirl

I get a weird thing when i am deeply depressed for a few weeks and really anxious, about this time of year. I feel rediculous for saying it because there are so many people who have a lot more to feel sad about than i do but i can't help it.. Its like a weird switch or something. Its like its psysically difficult almost to get out of bed and i don't want to talk to anyone.. i hate it and while i am hating it i hate me for feeling it and i feel selfish and stupid. I have to force myself to shower or to eat.. but it has tended to go away after a wee while but its tiring to force myself out of it. Hopefully it wont last too long this year.


----------



## kayrae

i'm hooked on Hulu


----------



## iamaJenny

fatgirlflyin said:


> I suppose if you believe in god that works. I personally don't choose to believe that I have a period monthly because some naked woman ate an apple from a tree she wasn't supposed to...



So true. I'm pretty uncertain about religion and such(I consider myself agnostic) but I tend to shift from not believing, to kind of believing, to hoping that there is a God because people do so many shitty things and deserve some kind of punishment and then back and forth again. 
I do however, get really dismayed by the whole "original sin", "cursed daughters of Eve" crap. I mean seriously WTH? Menstruation is merely a part of mammalian make up. If we didn't get periods but instead our ears wiggled uncontrollably for a week every month, we'd have some crazy theory about that too. "It's because Eve _LISTENED_ to the snake, that's why our ears wiggle..."


----------



## mergirl

iamaJenny said:


> So true. I'm pretty uncertain about religion and such(I consider myself agnostic) but I tend to shift from not believing, to kind of believing, to hoping that there is a God because people do so many shitty things and deserve some kind of punishment and then back and forth again.
> I do however, get really dismayed by the whole "original sin", "cursed daughters of Eve" crap. I mean seriously WTH? Menstruation is merely a part of mammalian make up. If we didn't get periods but instead our ears wiggled uncontrollably for a week every month, we'd have some crazy theory about that too. "It's because Eve _LISTENED_ to the snake, that's why our ears wiggle..."


I knew a woman who played in a band called "Adam 812" haha.. say it out loud!


----------



## Sugar

mergirl said:


> I get a weird thing when i am deeply depressed for a few weeks and really anxious, about this time of year. I feel rediculous for saying it because there are so many people who have a lot more to feel sad about than i do but i can't help it.. Its like a weird switch or something. Its like its psysically difficult almost to get out of bed and i don't want to talk to anyone.. i hate it and while i am hating it i hate me for feeling it and i feel selfish and stupid. I have to force myself to shower or to eat.. but it has tended to go away after a wee while but its tiring to force myself out of it. Hopefully it wont last too long this year.



((((Lisa)))) I do know how you feel and I hope you feel better soon. You are not selfish or stupid your feelings are yours and there is no shame in being honest that you feel like shit. If you need an ear I'm always around.


----------



## mergirl

Sugar said:


> ((((Lisa)))) I do know how you feel and I hope you feel better soon. You are not selfish or stupid your feelings are yours and there is no shame in being honest that you feel like shit. If you need an ear I'm always around.


Aww..thanks missus.


----------



## iamaJenny

mergirl said:


> I knew a woman who played in a band called "Adam 812" haha.. say it out loud!



 Lol. yeah Adam did eat one too.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

steely said:


> I confess that while looking forward to tomorrow, I am afraid of my reaction when tomorrow comes. I don't want to have a breakdown. They say the first holidays after a loss are the hardest. Say a little prayer that I make through...




Amy hugsss hon..Just remember it is one day at a time..


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I am sitting here crying..Not because I am sad or anything..I am just very tenderhearted and got to thinking about all the people that will be alone tomorrow..I do not think anyone needs to be alone during the holidays...


----------



## Astarte

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC I am sitting here crying..Not because I am sad or anything..I am just very tenderhearted and got to thinking about all the people that will be alone tomorrow..I do not think anyone needs to be alone during the holidays...



I must ask, what holiday is it?


----------



## DitzyBrunette

Astarte said:


> I must ask, what holiday is it?



Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and December 25th is Christmas. My favorite time of year!


----------



## iamaJenny

DitzyBrunette said:


> Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and December 25th is Christmas. My favorite time of year!



Holla!! Mine too ma. lol

Seriously though, I do love the holidays. I've already got the Christmas songs playlist made on my ipod.


----------



## Astarte

DitzyBrunette said:


> Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and December 25th is Christmas. My favorite time of year!



Of Christmas I was aware. It's my favourite, too.
We don't have Thanksgiving, so that was the one I was oblivious of. Thanks for enlightening me. 

And to stay on-topic:

IC I'm pretty scared of starting the antidepressants today. Yikes.  I'm mostly worried about the side-effects.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

steely said:


> I confess that while looking forward to tomorrow, I am afraid of my reaction when tomorrow comes. I don't want to have a breakdown. They say the first holidays after a loss are the hardest. Say a little prayer that I make through...



Done. One Day at a time, Amy As everyone else has said, the holidays and eventually you will be okay. 



mergirl said:


> I get a weird thing when i am deeply depressed for a few weeks and really anxious, about this time of year. I feel rediculous for saying it because there are so many people who have a lot more to feel sad about than i do but i can't help it.. Its like a weird switch or something. Its like its psysically difficult almost to get out of bed and i don't want to talk to anyone.. i hate it and while i am hating it i hate me for feeling it and i feel selfish and stupid. I have to force myself to shower or to eat.. but it has tended to go away after a wee while but its tiring to force myself out of it. Hopefully it wont last too long this year.



You're not alone, Lisa. The time between Veteran's Day (November 11th) and New Year's Day is an emotional mine field for me as well; but I'm the sort of the reverse of you. I jump out of bed and try to occupy my time with as much stuff to do as possible, so I have very little time to be left alone with my thoughts. Some days it is to the point of exhaustion so I can immediately crash and sleep. I pop in and out of it where some days I feel almost normal and some days are the curl up in bed really bad ones. It hits hardest around now at the beginning of the season. 



BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC I am sitting here crying..Not because I am sad or anything..I am just very tenderhearted and got to thinking about all the people that will be alone tomorrow..I do not think anyone needs to be alone during the holidays...



I so agree BBB. I sometimes use this as a reminder to help pull myself out of the funk when I'm having one of those bad days listed above.


----------



## mergirl

Astarte said:


> Of Christmas I was aware. It's my favourite, too.
> We don't have Thanksgiving, so that was the one I was oblivious of. Thanks for enlightening me.
> 
> And to stay on-topic:
> 
> IC I'm pretty scared of starting the antidepressants today. Yikes.  I'm mostly worried about the side-effects.


Don't worry.. most people i know who have been on AD's have had very little to no side effects (myself included). Which ones are you taking? 
Try not to worry, and see them more as something to tide you over until either your seritonin/dopamine levels are raised or you are offered other therapies that are more long term than drugs.


----------



## mergirl

OneWickedAngel said:


> You're not alone, Lisa. The time between Veteran's Day (November 11th) and New Year's Day is an emotional mine field for me as well; but I'm the sort of the reverse of you. I jump out of bed and try to occupy my time with as much stuff to do as possible, so I have very little time to be left alone with my thoughts. Some days it is to the point of exhaustion so I can immediately crash and sleep. I pop in and out of it where some days I feel almost normal and some days are the curl up in bed really bad ones. It hits hardest around now at the beginning of the season.
> 
> 
> 
> I so agree BBB. I sometimes use this as a reminder to help pull myself out of the funk when I'm having one of those bad days listed above.



I'm so sorry you feel like that. I know you have reasons for feeling like this
and i hope this year is even a bit less horrible for you than last year. x I was going to say, try not to tire yourself out too much.. but then maby that is the best was to get through for you.


----------



## steely

mergirl said:


> I get a weird thing when i am deeply depressed for a few weeks and really anxious, about this time of year. I feel rediculous for saying it because there are so many people who have a lot more to feel sad about than i do but i can't help it.. Its like a weird switch or something. Its like its psysically difficult almost to get out of bed and i don't want to talk to anyone.. i hate it and while i am hating it i hate me for feeling it and i feel selfish and stupid. I have to force myself to shower or to eat.. but it has tended to go away after a wee while but its tiring to force myself out of it. Hopefully it wont last too long this year.



Do you have Seasonal Affective Disorder, Mer? It happens in the winter months when everything is grey and there is less light. People go through depression and just generally feel bad. Look it up, I'm not sure how it's treated but there is help for it. I hope you feel better soon.


----------



## steely

TraciJo67 said:


> ((( Amy )))
> 
> You will make it through. No matter what happens, you will make it through tomorrow and the days to come and at some point you'll be looking back at them with a new perspective and with wisdom and your loss will still feel monumental but it won't have the same raw, aching edges that make you feel drained and sapped of energy and of all hope. You will get there. I know you will.





mergirl said:


> Amy..What Traci just said. Sorry i have nothing more to add. I will be thinking of you tommorow. x





Sugar said:


> ((((Amy)))) I will keep you in my thoughts.



Thank you all and OWA, It gives me strength to know you will be thinking of me. I will be thinking of all my Dims friends tomorrow. Your support means more to me than any of you know. On Thanksgiving, I will be giving thanks for all of you. That is my confession and it's a good one. :happy:


----------



## mergirl

steely said:


> Do you have Seasonal Affective Disorder, Mer? It happens in the winter months when everything is grey and there is less light. People go through depression and just generally feel bad. Look it up, I'm not sure how it's treated but there is help for it. I hope you feel better soon.


You stop worrying about others right now missus!!. Concentrate on yourself. ((hugs))
I think i may have this.. i have looked into it and i am better than i used to be. Basically, today one minute it was light and i looked around and it was totally dark.. there really wasn't much sun and it was very gray today. I think i am sensitive to the seasons somehow. Actually, my freinds mum uses a light box to help people with this.. she lives in sweden though, so it would be a bit of a trip. Its helping to be able to just babble on here to people..Also, to know others are going through so much pain is kind of forcing me (which is good) to quit wallowing and try to give myself a bit of a shake. Which doesn't totally work and i usually just have to ride it out but it does make me feel lucky in comparison.. and also guilty for feeling bad for no reason.. (which i also know is daft!).. sorry.. i am rambling..


----------



## comaseason

mergirl said:


> You stop worrying about others right now missus!!. Concentrate on yourself. ((hugs))
> I think i may have this.. i have looked into it and i am better than i used to be. Basically, today one minute it was light and i looked around and it was totally dark.. there really wasn't much sun and it was very gray today. I think i am sensitive to the seasons somehow. Actually, my freinds mum uses a light box to help people with this.. she lives in sweden though, so it would be a bit of a trip. Its helping to be able to just babble on here to people..Also, to know others are going through so much pain is kind of forcing me (which is good) to quit wallowing and try to give myself a bit of a shake. Which doesn't totally work and i usually just have to ride it out but it does make me feel lucky in comparison.. and also guilty for feeling bad for no reason.. (which i also know is daft!).. sorry.. i am rambling..



Light therapy is a bit more affordable now than it used to be. Up here in the NW states we see lots of it. My sister has SAD, me too to some extent. It's gray a lot of the days out of the year here, lots of rain. I have seen home models of a blue-light box (which is supposed to mimic not so much the light, but of the sky itself) under 150$ US.

Philips goLITE BLUE


----------



## DitzyBrunette

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC I am sitting here crying..Not because I am sad or anything..I am just very tenderhearted and got to thinking about all the people that will be alone tomorrow..I do not think anyone needs to be alone during the holidays...



My ex is in Iraq right now, thankfully not in the middle of all the mayhem, but still alone on Thanksgiving and will be for Christmas also. This is the first time he's overseas for the holidays in the 10 yrs he's been in the service. He's got 2 little kids (not by me) and I wish he could be home with them for the Holidays. 



iamaJenny said:


> Holla!! Mine too ma. lol
> 
> Seriously though, I do love the holidays. I've already got the Christmas songs playlist made on my ipod.



That made me literally LOL 
And girl, please, my Christmas playlist starts getting play around October lol ~ we're a bunch of very Christmas-y people in this family so I hear ya! :happy:


----------



## luscious_lulu

steely said:


> I confess that while looking forward to tomorrow, I am afraid of my reaction when tomorrow comes. I don't want to have a breakdown. They say the first holidays after a loss are the hardest. Say a little prayer that I make through...



*big hugs*


----------



## luscious_lulu

mergirl said:


> I get a weird thing when i am deeply depressed for a few weeks and really anxious, about this time of year. I feel rediculous for saying it because there are so many people who have a lot more to feel sad about than i do but i can't help it.. Its like a weird switch or something. Its like its psysically difficult almost to get out of bed and i don't want to talk to anyone.. i hate it and while i am hating it i hate me for feeling it and i feel selfish and stupid. I have to force myself to shower or to eat.. but it has tended to go away after a wee while but its tiring to force myself out of it. Hopefully it wont last too long this year.



You should not feel ridiculous. You feel what you feel. *hugs*


----------



## luscious_lulu

OneWickedAngel said:


> Done. One Day at a time, Amy As everyone else has said, the holidays and eventually you will be okay.
> 
> You're not alone, Lisa. The time between Veteran's Day (November 11th) and New Year's Day is an emotional mine field for me as well; but I'm the sort of the reverse of you. I jump out of bed and try to occupy my time with as much stuff to do as possible, so I have very little time to be left alone with my thoughts. Some days it is to the point of exhaustion so I can immediately crash and sleep. I pop in and out of it where some days I feel almost normal and some days are the curl up in bed really bad ones. It hits hardest around now at the beginning of the season.
> 
> I so agree BBB. I sometimes use this as a reminder to help pull myself out of the funk when I'm having one of those bad days listed above.




*hugs* You are a strong brave woman.


IC I can't figure out the multiple quote thing. Sorry to everyone who is subscribed to this thread and is getting multiple notices. *hangs head in shame*


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> IC trying to be friends with my ex just hasn't been working.
> 
> We just end up hurting each other. I'm tired of crying.



I'm so sorry . Sometimes no matter how hard and how much effort you put in, some things aren't meant to be.
(((Hugs)))
Mizz



Punkin1024 said:


> IC tomorrow Hubby and I will celebrate anniversary 31! Nothing spectacular this year, but we'll probably eat a lite meal and perhaps watch a movie.



Congrats!!! Very few have made it so far! :bow:



iamaJenny said:


> I confess that I wish that I was prettier and thinner....not stick thin just more in the 205-230 lb range.
> 
> I confess that constantly wishing I was prettier and thinner usually only makes me feel uglier and more depressed so come to think of it I should probably just quit it



Welcome! Don't feel bad, we've all done this thinking (and often still do).



DitzyBrunette said:


> My confession for the moment is I just feel so blah lately. I was sick for literally all of October (even on my birthday!), had the flu, and add asthma on top of that and I was a hot mess. I ended up in the ER twice and the second time I had to be admitted.
> But anyway because of the severity of the asthma attacks (which hadn't happened in 10 years) my chest was extremely sore, my lungs needed so much time to recuperate, I was afraid to even move for fear of ending up in the hospital again. I finally started to recover but I feel like after so much time being so blah that I can't get back that va-va-va-voom feeling I used to have every day when I'd get dressed for the day. I let myself go for a month and I gotta get my groove back.



Aw, you poor thing . The flu's been going around like crazy this year. Did you have Swine Flu? It really goes after people with asthma. I know you're sick of being sick and want your life back, but take it easy. You don't want to start the entire process over. 



steely said:


> I confess that while looking forward to tomorrow, I am afraid of my reaction when tomorrow comes. I don't want to have a breakdown. They say the first holidays after a loss are the hardest. Say a little prayer that I make through...



What a hard time you must be going through. If you feel like crying, go ahead. You'll be surrounded by people that love you.



mergirl said:


> I get a weird thing when i am deeply depressed for a few weeks and really anxious, about this time of year. I feel rediculous for saying it because there are so many people who have a lot more to feel sad about than i do but i can't help it.. Its like a weird switch or something. Its like its psysically difficult almost to get out of bed and i don't want to talk to anyone.. i hate it and while i am hating it i hate me for feeling it and i feel selfish and stupid. I have to force myself to shower or to eat.. but it has tended to go away after a wee while but its tiring to force myself out of it. Hopefully it wont last too long this year.



I get the same way Mer. It's frustrating when people don't realize that you don't want to be that way, but have a very, very hard time controlling it. Don't feel selfish or stupid; you're wonderful! 



Astarte said:


> IC I'm pretty scared of starting the antidepressants today. Yikes.  I'm mostly worried about the side-effects.



Don't worry to much about it.  The side-effects are usually not too bad, and if you can't handle them, there are tons of anti-depressants out there that you can be switched over to. Just work on really communicating with your psych dr. Let them know if a certain med is making you not feel to hot, it's not working that well, etc. Also remember that it can often take 6-8 weeks before you really notice any improvement. I hope you'll be able to have some counseling too. Anti-depressants and counseling work better than just anti-depressants alone. Good luck!!



mergirl said:


> I think i may have this.. i have looked into it and i am better than i used to be. Basically, today one minute it was light and i looked around and it was totally dark.. there really wasn't much sun and it was very gray today. I think i am sensitive to the seasons somehow. Actually, my freinds mum uses a light box to help people with this.. she lives in sweden though, so it would be a bit of a trip. Its helping to be able to just babble on here to people..Also, to know others are going through so much pain is kind of forcing me (which is good) to quit wallowing and try to give myself a bit of a shake. Which doesn't totally work and i usually just have to ride it out but it does make me feel lucky in comparison.. and also guilty for feeling bad for no reason.. (which i also know is daft!).. sorry.. i am rambling..



No need to apologize for rambling , we all do it all the time. lol 

Have you considered full-spectrum lighting? You can usually purchase a full-spec light and bulb from home improvement stores or even pet stores (reptiles and birds need full-spec lighting for D3). I don't know how much the light boxes run in Scotland, but buying full-spec lighting might be a cheaper options. Also, it often helps to have living things around you during SAD times. There's something about seeing flowers bloom and the deep green of house plants that lifts the spirits. That often helps me during those times when it's dark and gloomy out for so long.
(((Hugs)))
Mizz



luscious_lulu said:


> IC I can't figure out the multiple quote thing. Sorry to everyone who is subscribed to this thread and is getting multiple notices. *hangs head in shame*



This is how you do the multi-quote:
* At the lower right-hand corner of a post are three items, "quote," "Multi- quote," and quick response (I think that's the third one).
* Ex: You want to multi-quote three posts. Click "multi-quote" for the first two posts you want to respond to, then on the last post you want to reply to, click "quote." 
~That will bring you up to the "reply to thread" page.
~It really matters how you prefer to respond, but I like to reply directly below each post. After the person's post (I usually delete what I'm not responding to so it won't get really long.), I type in my reply. It's important to leave the "QUOTE" markings in the person's post. That way you'll get the blue field around the person's post you're responding to.
~Hit "submit reply"!

**If you accidentally hit the "multi-quote" to a post you do not want to respond to, simply hit "Multi-quote again." That will negate that post from all the posts you want to reply to at one time.**

If you're confused or have any questions, feel free to ask!
Mizz


P.S. No holding head in shame!  It takes trial and error. The hardest part for me is to remember to multi-quote  lol


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

OneWickedAngel said:


> You're not alone, Lisa. The time between Veteran's Day (November 11th) and New Year's Day is an emotional mine field for me as well; but I'm the sort of the reverse of you. I jump out of bed and try to occupy my time with as much stuff to do as possible, so I have very little time to be left alone with my thoughts. Some days it is to the point of exhaustion so I can immediately crash and sleep. I pop in and out of it where some days I feel almost normal and some days are the curl up in bed really bad ones. It hits hardest around now at the beginning of the season.



I'm so sorry hun 
(((Hugs)))
Mizz


----------



## Weeze

IC i love it when mergirl says missus 

I also realized tonight that while some things have been getting me pretty down lately.... there's a lot of potential for them to get fixed. a LOT. I've reconnected with friends today that i've been NEEDING to reconnect with and it feels sooo good. I've missed them, and i'm so happy to have them back.

"kaybo"


----------



## Punkin1024

To all my State side friends - HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

IC that tomorrow, although I'm thankful for my loved ones and the fact that hubby can cook, I'm usually stressed out because hubby stresses out until everything is done, eaten and packed away.  

I'll be keeping all of you in my thoughts, especially those of you that are facing a first holiday missing loved ones. 

Hugs to all of my BBW friends!


----------



## mergirl

krismiss said:


> IC i love it when mergirl says missus
> 
> I also realized tonight that while some things have been getting me pretty down lately.... there's a lot of potential for them to get fixed. a LOT. I've reconnected with friends today that i've been NEEDING to reconnect with and it feels sooo good. I've missed them, and i'm so happy to have them back.
> 
> "kaybo"


Excellent work ..erm missus!


----------



## mergirl

comaseason said:


> Light therapy is a bit more affordable now than it used to be. Up here in the NW states we see lots of it. My sister has SAD, me too to some extent. It's gray a lot of the days out of the year here, lots of rain. I have seen home models of a blue-light box (which is supposed to mimic not so much the light, but of the sky itself) under 150$ US.
> 
> Philips goLITE BLUE



Oh, that is interesting.. i will need to look into that!!! Thanks 



luscious_lulu said:


> You should not feel ridiculous. You feel what you feel. *hugs*


thank you.. i wish there was a hug smilie guy sometimes. See this >:bow: is the nearest.. but is someone hugged me like that i would call the police! :happy:



MizzSnakeBite said:


> I get the same way Mer. It's frustrating when people don't realize that you don't want to be that way, but have a very, very hard time controlling it. Don't feel selfish or stupid; you're wonderful!
> 
> Have you considered full-spectrum lighting? You can usually purchase a full-spec light and bulb from home improvement stores or even pet stores (reptiles and birds need full-spec lighting for D3). I don't know how much the light boxes run in Scotland, but buying full-spec lighting might be a cheaper options. Also, it often helps to have living things around you during SAD times. There's something about seeing flowers bloom and the deep green of house plants that lifts the spirits. That often helps me during those times when it's dark and gloomy out for so long.
> (((Hugs)))
> Mizz



Aww thank you lovely (((hugs back)))
hmm.. i shall have a wee look.. maby i should just live in a tank on a rock during the winter! lol. I have my two crazy furry babies Puck my dogger and Oscar my cat- I think if it wasn't for them i would have found the darker times a lot worse. They make me smile (usually laugh) at least once a day. I think having a dog is great because i am 'forced' to take her out at least for a small walk a couple of times each day. Though i hate to admit there were a couple of days this week GD had to take her out before work. (Though, i can feel myself feeling better and have been actually 'doing stuff')..
Ahh.. anyway.. thanks for this advice.. i shall become lizard girl to beat S.a.d!!


----------



## OneWickedAngel

mergirl said:


> I'm so sorry you feel like that. I know you have reasons for feeling like this and i hope this year is even a bit less horrible for you than last year. x I was going to say, try not to tire yourself out too much.. but then maby that is the best was to get through for you.





luscious_lulu said:


> *hugs* You are a strong brave woman.
> ...snip...





MizzSnakeBite said:


> I'm so sorry hun
> (((Hugs)))
> Mizz














Luvs and hugs to each of you, thanks:kiss2: 



Punkin1024 said:


> To all my State side friends - HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
> 
> _...snip..._
> 
> I'll be keeping all of you in my thoughts, especially those of you that are facing a first holiday missing loved ones.
> 
> Hugs to all of my BBW friends!



Equally reciprocated, Punkin!!



mergirl said:


> _...snip..._
> i shall become lizard girl to beat S.a.d!!


(hands you a club...) Hee-hee! Oh the imagery is priceless, wish I were good enough of an artist to render it! LOL!


----------



## mszwebs

Bare with me... I choose to confess through lyrics tonight.

_Someone Else's Story..._

Long ago
In someone else's lifetime
Someone with my name
Who looked a lot like me
Came to know
A man and made a promise
He only had to say
And that's where she would be
Lately
Although the feelings run just as deep
The promise she made has grown impossible to keep
And yet I wish it wasn't so
Will he miss me if I go?

In a way
It's someone else's story
I don't see myself
As taking part at all
Yesterday
A girl that I was fond of
Finally could see
The writing on the wall
Sadly
She realized she'd left him behind
And sadder than that she knew he wouldn't even mind
And though there's nothing left to say
Would he listen if I stay?

It's all very well to say you fool it's now or never
I could be choosing
No choices whatsoever.

I could be
In someone else's story
In someone else's life
And he could be in mine
I don't see
A reason to be lonely
I could take my chances
Further down the line
And if
That girl I knew should ask my advice
Oh I wouldn't hesitate she needn't ask me twice
Go now!
I'd tell her that for free
Trouble is, the girl is me
The story is, the girl is me.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

*{{{{{{{{{{ Jess }}}}}}}}}}*
The beauty of lyric is sometimes, another's words are all the words you need.


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC I'm angry. 

Angry at him treating me so badly, but more angry at me for letting him get away with it for so long.


----------



## Fluffy51888

IC that I can be a jealous bitch sometimes. I hate it....I really do. Green isn't my color.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> IC I'm angry.
> 
> Angry at him treating me so badly, but more angry at me for letting him get away with it for so long.



lulu,
Don't beat yourself up about it. 

I was sorta seeing a guy that was leading me along, using me, being a complete asshole, treating me badly, but I didn't see it. Once I did, I just couldn't believe what I let him get away with........

Remember.......hindsight is always 20/20...

Hugs,
Mizz

P.S. And yes, I did beat myself up about it, but then I quickly turned my anger towards him instead of myself lol


----------



## MisticalMisty

I'm nesting?!?

I'm not pregnant..lol..but I am nesting.

I never thought I'd be the type that would want to decorate and bake and yadda, yadda, yadda...

but I am..and it's....well..weird.


----------



## goofy girl

MisticalMisty said:


> I'm nesting?!?
> 
> I'm not pregnant..lol..but I am nesting.
> 
> I never thought I'd be the type that would want to decorate and bake and yadda, yadda, yadda...
> 
> but I am..and it's....well..weird.



I thought that was exactly the type of person you have always been, Misty.


----------



## luscious_lulu

MizzSnakeBite said:


> lulu,
> Don't beat yourself up about it.
> 
> I was sorta seeing a guy that was leading me along, using me, being a complete asshole, treating me badly, but I didn't see it. Once I did, I just couldn't believe what I let him get away with........
> 
> Remember.......hindsight is always 20/20...
> 
> Hugs,
> Mizz
> 
> P.S. And yes, I did beat myself up about it, but then I quickly turned my anger towards him instead of myself lol



Thanks Mizz.


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC I've successfully completed a multiquote! Thanks MSB!:blush:


----------



## MisticalMisty

goofy girl said:


> I thought that was exactly the type of person you have always been, Misty.



Humm..maybe I have been and just didn't pay attention.

I'm really enjoying it..until I make a stupid mistake in the kitchen. I left my new enameled cast iron dutch oven inside my oven as I was heating up the oven to bake cookies. I had seasoned them last night and had left them in there to cool.

Well..dumbass me forgot to look and now my beautiful red dutch oven is a lovely shade of burgundy.

I really hope that once it cools it will go back to it's original color.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

MisticalMisty said:


> I'm nesting?!?
> 
> I'm not pregnant..lol..but I am nesting.
> 
> I never thought I'd be the type that would want to decorate and bake and yadda, yadda, yadda...
> 
> but I am..and it's....well..weird.





goofy girl said:


> I thought that was exactly the type of person you have always been, Misty.



No Misty has never been a nester...She hated doing anything crafty and every once in a while she would get a wild hair to bake but not like she is now..She is finally becoming a whole woman (laughs)..I use to try to teach her stuff and she would roll her eyes and tell me not to worry about it because she would never be doing that!

If there was no oil or anything on the outside of the cookware it should return to it's natural color...Didn't you check on it last night while you were seasoning it?


----------



## MisticalMisty

BubbleButtBabe said:


> No Misty has never been a nester...She hated doing anything crafty and every once in a while she would get a wild hair to bake but not like she is now..She is finally becoming a whole woman (laughs)..I use to try to teach her stuff and she would roll her eyes and tell me not to worry about it because she would never be doing that!
> 
> If there was no oil or anything on the outside of the cookware it should return to it's natural color...Didn't you check on it last night while you were seasoning it?



No, the directions said to oil it and then put it in a 350 oven for an hour..So I did that.

It's fine now. Just took some time to cook off!

Whole woman? lol You're crazy.

We are going to target today..they advertised purple stockings! I gotta have them to go with my purple and silver tree. Hopefully they will have a purple tree skirt as well!


----------



## goofy girl

BubbleButtBabe said:


> No Misty has never been a nester...She hated doing anything crafty and every once in a while she would get a wild hair to bake but not like she is now..She is finally becoming a whole woman (laughs)..I use to try to teach her stuff and she would roll her eyes and tell me not to worry about it because she would never be doing that!
> 
> If there was no oil or anything on the outside of the cookware it should return to it's natural color...Didn't you check on it last night while you were seasoning it?





MisticalMisty said:


> No, the directions said to oil it and then put it in a 350 oven for an hour..So I did that.
> 
> It's fine now. Just took some time to cook off!
> 
> Whole woman? lol You're crazy.
> 
> We are going to target today..they advertised purple stockings! I gotta have them to go with my purple and silver tree. Hopefully they will have a purple tree skirt as well!



I guess the love of kitchenware and Bed, Bath and Beyond led me to believe you were more "homey" or something lol 


When you said purple stockings I totally thought you meant like pantyhose


----------



## MissStacie

I have to confess....

Whenever I look at my sexy husband, he makes my no-no parts tingle...each and every time...

Whew...I'm glad I got that off my hard nippled chest....:smitten:

Stacie


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

IC that I now want to see pics of those purple stockings hanging by the tree......


----------



## JerseyGirl07093

goofy girl said:


> When you said purple stockings I totally thought you meant like pantyhose



Me too! I thought she was going to get dressed up for the holidays and match the tree. :doh:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

JerseyGirl07093 said:


> Me too! I thought she was going to get dressed up for the holidays and match the tree. :doh:



IC I would want to see pics of that too.......


----------



## MisticalMisty

You girls are silly!

I didn't get any purple stockings *sigh*. They said they had them in 2 of the stores close by. 1 had zero and the other had just 1. I need 3.

So, we found some white ones with beaded snowflakes. They are too cute!

I'm watching how to make bows tonight..once I get that accomplished I will trim the tree and the fireplace. Pics after that


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

MisticalMisty said:


> You girls are silly!
> 
> I didn't get any purple stockings *sigh*. They said they had them in 2 of the stores close by. 1 had zero and the other had just 1. I need 3.
> 
> So, we found some white ones with beaded snowflakes. They are too cute!
> 
> I'm watching how to make bows tonight..once I get that accomplished I will trim the tree and the fireplace. Pics after that




I'm still waiting on pics of stockings you know.......


----------



## Punkin1024

IC I finally broke down and ordered some socks from Woman Within and I just had to get a top that was on clearance. Total with shipping less 30% discount - $49.47!  (Well, I did order 7 pairs of socks.) I hate having to order stuff like socks when I really want holiday wear, new pj's and lots of sweaters. Just too broke to get all that stuff. Sigh!


----------



## crayola box

IC that I fear my mother may have been right  (don't you hate when that happens) She always used to tease that instead of doing laundry I go shopping for more clothes, and while I definitely don't go shopping every time laundry needs to be done I definitely have more of an urge to shop when I am out of clothes, and am thinking this is not a good behavior pattern 

I(also)C that twice in the past week, posts both on this board and the main board have made me think and look at things from a perspective I hadn't considered before. Unfortunately the two threads are contradictory to each other and have me confused as to what my own opinion is which is keeping me from participating in them. 

And last but not least (b/c good things come in threes ) I confess that although I don't celebrate Christmas, NYC in winter totally puts me in the Christmas spirit!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> IC I've successfully completed a multiquote! Thanks MSB!:blush:



WooHoo! You're welcome


----------



## Keb

IC this is the first holiday season that I've really, really wished someone would kiss me under the mistletoe or at midnight on New Years. I've never had either...and I've never really missed it before. But this year for some reason I'm strangely wishing it could happen.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I am not ready for wintertime..I want a short jacket that is not fleece and looks nice on!


----------



## MisticalMisty

LOL..Purple stockings 

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1330223&postcount=98


----------



## Punkin1024

IC I'm so tired of commercials about how terrible it is to be fat. Can't they find something else to worry us about! Sigh! This doesn't help my self-esteem a bit.


----------



## Tina

I hope you get that, Keb.


----------



## Tau

I really fucking hate my job. I'm sitting here actively trying to convince myself to stay, not to just get up and drive away and never come back. All my plans to get me out of this are longterm - I don't know if I can wait 3/4 months. Everyday I'm here feels like I die a little bit. I just want out - right now.


----------



## littlefairywren

Tau said:


> I really fucking hate my job. I'm sitting here actively trying to convince myself to stay, not to just get up and drive away and never come back. All my plans to get me out of this are longterm - I don't know if I can wait 3/4 months. Everyday I'm here feels like I die a little bit. I just want out - right now.



((((Tau)))) Big hugs girl, hang in there!


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Tau said:


> I really fucking hate my job. I'm sitting here actively trying to convince myself to stay, not to just get up and drive away and never come back. All my plans to get me out of this are longterm - I don't know if I can wait 3/4 months. Everyday I'm here feels like I die a little bit. I just want out - right now.



*{{{{{ B-R-E-A-T-H-E.....TAU.....B-R-E-A-T-H-E }}}}}*​
Seriously, breathe woman. 3 to 4 months is not that long. Now 3 to 4 years? That's longterm! It sounds like you you have a definitive exit strategy. Don't burn that bridge in desperate anger and impatience.


----------



## Ruffie

I confess that I am totally bah humbug about Christmas this year. For some reason I am just not into the whole Christmas Season. Everything feels like a chore in doing the shopping, baking, decorating and such. I planned a party at my house for next weekend with my adopted kids and close friends hoping that would get me in the mood but so far nada. Everyone around me is happy and excited for Christmas and I just can't relate. I can't wait for it to be over and then I can have a few days off to rest from all the hubbub!


----------



## succubus_dxb

I Confess that I think i'll get fired from my job soon....I've just started recently, and am going away for the 3 busiest weeks of the year....I'm not going to be very popular. But i'm enjoying all these breakfasts and shopping i've been doing


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

No I fucking don't understand.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> No I fucking don't understand.



Huh?????:huh:

What's the matter GEF??


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

IC: I must show off my little, green mite . Her name is Isis (she has many nicknames and knows them all). Isis is the Egyptian goddess of love. She also has wings. Since Sis is a Senegal (from Africa), I thought it would be appropriate. She's too funny. 

View attachment Ms. Sis 1-07webresz.jpg


View attachment Bad Pic of Ms. Sis resz.jpg


View attachment Sis Sleeping on Tree 2 2-11-08resz.jpg


We've been together since she was a baby, over a decade... She's super smart and a little twit. All my other birds are terrified of her. She terrified and tried to take down one of my dogs that was 75lbs many times (Katie has now passed :really sad She's sometimes referred to as, "the little, green monster."  She talks in a baby doll voice, waves hi, loves to play whistle and noise games, and can always be found hanging upside down like a bat.

When she's fed, she'll sit in front of her dish that swings out. I'll tell her "beep, beep" so she'll scoot over so her toes don't get pinched when the bowl meets the perch. A few days ago I wasn't looking closely enough and she got a toe pinched , she squealed. Tonight, she scooted over all the way to the side before I could say anything, then she told me, "beep, beep." :happy:

I recently saved up for a new cage for her, and she loves it. :happy: I'm not done "decorating" all of it, esp the top.

She's pretty crazy too.......I tend to attract the crazy ones (no comments  ), but I love her to pieces.

Sorry for the novel, but she deserves one .
Mizz Crazy for Parrots


----------



## Tania

*dies*

*PET LUST!*

That is the cutest story EVER.


----------



## littlefairywren

*Mizz*, I love seeing and hearing about your babies! Isis is just soooo cute, you will have to post a pic when you have completed "decorations" for her


----------



## AuntHen

IC that today I feel like being a BBW/fat is not very pretty, hot, or anything grand


----------



## littlefairywren

fat9276 said:


> IC that today I feel like being a BBW/fat is not very pretty, hot, or anything grand



Big hugs to you (((((fat9276))))).


----------



## Lina

I can totally confess to not being a good kisser. I don't think I learned how to do it right. I mean I'm sure there's no 'right' but there is a 'good' and a 'great' and I don't fall into either of those categories.

Thanks for listening.


----------



## Punkin1024

fat9276 said:


> IC that today I feel like being a BBW/fat is not very pretty, hot, or anything grand



I totally hear you on this one! When I feel like this, coming in here means all the world to me. I hope this place will help you too.


----------



## Tau

OneWickedAngel said:


> *{{{{{ B-R-E-A-T-H-E.....TAU.....B-R-E-A-T-H-E }}}}}*​
> Seriously, breathe woman. 3 to 4 months is not that long. Now 3 to 4 years? That's longterm! It sounds like you you have a definitive exit strategy. Don't burn that bridge in desperate anger and impatience.



((((Tau)))) Big hugs girl, hang in there! (littlefairywren)

Thank you ladies - I need to learn patience  I'm trying to keep it all in perspective and be really thank ful for what I've got. *Deep breath* I'm on the path, I think, I just need a bit more Divine guidance.


----------



## Tau

succubus_dxb said:


> I Confess that I think i'll get fired from my job soon....I've just started recently, and am going away for the 3 busiest weeks of the year....I'm not going to be very popular. But i'm enjoying all these breakfasts and shopping i've been doing



I hope it doesn't turn out like that - hoping for the best for you *hugz*


----------



## Tau

Keb said:


> IC this is the first holiday season that I've really, really wished someone would kiss me under the mistletoe or at midnight on New Years. I've never had either...and I've never really missed it before. But this year for some reason I'm strangely wishing it could happen.



Hoping you get your wish this year.


----------



## Tania

IC that it is TOTALLY POSSIBLE for one to get REALLY SICK binging on only 400 kcal worth of sugar-free, fat-free candy.

Well, it's totally possible for me, anyway, because I am just that brand of loser. :/


----------



## steely

IC if I don't get some sleep, I'm going to fall over. :blink:


----------



## littlefairywren

steely said:


> IC if I don't get some sleep, I'm going to fall over. :blink:



Oh Amy, do try and get a little sleep. Even if it is only a few hours, just for a re-charge. Please take care of yourself.


----------



## mergirl

steely said:


> IC if I don't get some sleep, I'm going to fall over. :blink:


Sometimes even lying down resting your eyes can help. If your brain gets too busy you could try listening to a relaxation tape, cause they kind of distract you a wee bit while still being relaxing. Though, my friends bought me "sights and sounds of the humpback whale", which to be honest made me feel anxious! Also, anything with panpipes makes me grumpy!


----------



## steely

littlefairywren said:


> Oh Amy, do try and get a little sleep. Even if it is only a few hours, just for a re-charge. Please take care of yourself.





mergirl said:


> Sometimes even lying down resting your eyes can help. If your brain gets too busy you could try listening to a relaxation tape, cause they kind of distract you a wee bit while still being relaxing. Though, my friends bought me "sights and sounds of the humpback whale", which to be honest made me feel anxious! Also, anything with panpipes makes me grumpy!



Thank you both, I honestly think it has become a habit to wake up at 3 in the morning. I'm not quite sure how to break it.


----------



## mergirl

steely said:


> Thank you both, I honestly think it has become a habit to wake up at 3 in the morning. I'm not quite sure how to break it.


What about setting an alarm for 2am? Seriously. It might break the pattern because then the next night you might sleep till 4... and so on.. Might not work but it could be worth a try. Maby it will anoy your brain into trying to let you sleep more if you tell it to wake up before its ready...hmm..
Well, let me know how that idea goes...even if it just goes in the bin!  xx


----------



## MisticalMisty

Tania said:


> IC that it is TOTALLY POSSIBLE for one to get REALLY SICK binging on only 400 kcal worth of sugar-free, fat-free candy.
> 
> Well, it's totally possible for me, anyway, because I am just that brand of loser. :/



If it has sugar alcohol *maltitol I think is what it's called* in it...anything sugar free can make you sick if you eat too much of it!

Sorry sister..been there done that.. BLAH


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

steely said:


> IC if I don't get some sleep, I'm going to fall over. :blink:




Amy ask your Dr for some trazodone..It is the only thing I can take that shuts my brain down...I sleep 8 hours if I remember to take the pills like I am suppose to(has a bad case of CRAFT and sometimes lays down without taking the pills!!)..It has helped me a lot!


----------



## mossystate

Baiting people with talk of a " PC Brigade ", and waxing poetic about the need to place bags over the heads of some women...it is rather sad that this is what is ' protected '.


----------



## mossystate

steely said:


> Thank you both, I honestly think it has become a habit to wake up at 3 in the morning. I'm not quite sure how to break it.



Damn, Amy...I am so sorry you can't get enough sleep. Do try the shutting your eyes when you can...it does help the brain. I sometimes use a CD called The Healing Waterfall ( I think I might have mentioned it to you on FB...but maybe somebody else can benefit, too ). Your brain needs to slow down. You can't force it, cuz it will just rebel...so maybe tell it that you are going to go along with it. Tell yourself that it is OK if you wake at 3AM...but that you might also decide to wake at 7 ( or whatever ). When you are in bed, resting, let your mind go where it will go. You will eventually have to sleep. I know you have had lots of advice thrown at you. I just hope it is sooner than later that you get better rest.


----------



## mergirl

mossystate said:


> Baiting people with talk of a " PC Brigade ", and waxing poetic about the need to place bags over the heads of some women...it is rather sad that this is what is ' protected '.


You do know the 'bag' comment was in order to show up the thread for what it was right??
Which i think it did.. rather well. 
Expect it to get removed in 5,4,3,2....


----------



## mossystate

mergirl said:


> You do know the 'bag' comment was in order to show up the thread for what it was right??
> Which i think it did.. rather well.
> Expect it to get removed in 5,4,3,2....



I don't want my original post here removed, so I will just say...I don't think we are talking about the same post.


----------



## mergirl

mossystate said:


> I don't want my original post here removed, so I will just say...I don't think we are talking about the same post.


Ahhh.. its ok.. we are not. As you were all..


----------



## kayrae

Self-censorship sucks


----------



## Punkin1024

steely said:


> IC if I don't get some sleep, I'm going to fall over. :blink:



Amy,
If you don't want to use prescribed sleep aids, try Sleepytime Tea (Celestial Seasons) with Valerian root. You can also buy melatonin and Valerian root at the drug store or Health Food Store. I did take trazadone after my Mom died.The Dr. told me it is a tranqulizer, but often used to treat depression. My Mark has to take it nightly to sleep because he has a chemical disorder that just doesn't allow his brain to shut down without medication. Whatever you try, I hope it works for you. You do need the rest.


----------



## steely

Punkin1024 said:


> Amy,
> If you don't want to use prescribed sleep aids, try Sleepytime Tea (Celestial Seasons) with Valerian root. You can also buy melatonin and Valerian root at the drug store or Health Food Store. I did take trazadone after my Mom died.The Dr. told me it is a tranqulizer, but often used to treat depression. My Mark has to take it nightly to sleep because he has a chemical disorder that just doesn't allow his brain to shut down without medication. Whatever you try, I hope it works for you. You do need the rest.



IC I am so thankful for you girls. You are always so helpful. I took all of your advice and I slept until 4. I just need to keep trying different methods. I've never been much of a sleeper but this is ridiculous.


----------



## gnoom

MissStacie said:


> Whenever I look at my sexy husband, he makes my no-no parts tingle...each and every time...



Whew - i'm so glad that i kept my head up... *insider*


----------



## luscious_lulu

steely said:


> IC I am so thankful for you girls. You are always so helpful. I took all of your advice and I slept until 4. I just need to keep trying different methods. I've never been much of a sleeper but this is ridiculous.




That's good news!


----------



## MisticalMisty

We went and picked up our marriage license today. I can't believe that in 27 days I'll be married.


----------



## littlefairywren

MisticalMisty said:


> We went and picked up our marriage license today. I can't believe that in 27 days I'll be married.



Oh, this made me smile! You will have the best day Misty, I just know it


----------



## MisticalMisty

littlefairywren said:


> Oh, this made me smile! You will have the best day Misty, I just know it



Thank you. I cried a little bit at the courthouse. It made it so real when I had to solemnly swear that he wasn't my cousin..LOL


----------



## littlefairywren

MisticalMisty said:


> Thank you. I cried a little bit at the courthouse. It made it so real when I had to solemnly swear that he wasn't my cousin..LOL



OMG, do you really have to do that? I guess over here, they don't care about it.....which just makes me giggle. I don't remember being asked if I was marrying a relation at all :doh:


----------



## Isa

MisticalMisty said:


> Thank you. I cried a little bit at the courthouse. It made it so real when I had to solemnly swear that he wasn't my cousin..LOL



They seriously ask that? As if someone would answer yes! 

Congrats Misty. You guys are on the countdown now.


----------



## Tania

CONGRATULATIONS, MISTY!!!!!!!! 

*lawls all over the first cousin laws*


----------



## MisticalMisty

Isa said:


> They seriously ask that? As if someone would answer yes!
> 
> Congrats Misty. You guys are on the countdown now.



They ask four questions..and being relations is one...lol

It really was funny..but sad that it even has to be there!

Oh..and thanks


----------



## MisticalMisty

Tania said:


> CONGRATULATIONS, MISTY!!!!!!!!
> 
> *lawls all over the first cousin laws*



Thank you very much


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus

We got married in Maryland and we had to swear to the same thing. On our marriage license is says - "relation to each other, if any." LOL I love that. 

Congratulations to you and your fiance Misty and I wish you all the happiness in the world.


----------



## MisticalMisty

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> We got married in Maryland and we had to swear to the same thing. On our marriage license is says - "relation to each other, if any." LOL I love that.
> 
> Congratulations to you and your fiance Misty and I wish you all the happiness in the world.



Thank you Sandie


----------



## Punkin1024

MisticalMisty said:


> We went and picked up our marriage license today. I can't believe that in 27 days I'll be married.



Wow, just 27 days away! I'm so happy for you. I'd forgotten about the questions asked, it's been a while for me!


----------



## comaseason

IC that for the first time ever someone I really love and trust told me I had to lose weight. It was the last person I ever expected to hear it from and I feel a little betrayed.


----------



## Tracii

comaseason said:


> IC that for the first time ever someone I really love and trust told me I had to lose weight. It was the last person I ever expected to hear it from and I feel a little betrayed.



OMG what a hurtful thing to say.I would feel the same way.


----------



## Keb

Tracii said:


> OMG what a hurtful thing to say.I would feel the same way.



Your feeling is completely understandable...but if they honestly feel (for whatever reason--just read an article, or just heard something on the news that scared them) that you're in danger because of your weight, the motive could still be love for you. Keeping that in mind might make it easier to forgive them.


----------



## mergirl

comaseason said:


> IC that for the first time ever someone I really love and trust told me I had to lose weight. It was the last person I ever expected to hear it from and I feel a little betrayed.


ROOOAR!!!!!! By the power of greyskull..i feel the need to kick arse!!!!! 
That sucks!!!!


----------



## goofy girl

MisticalMisty said:


> We went and picked up our marriage license today. I can't believe that in 27 days I'll be married.



How exciting for you!! I thought I planned my wedding in no time when I did it in three months!! LOL 

Are you having a big wedding or small? Church? Reception hall?? What's the dress like? Details lady!


----------



## Teleute

goofy girl said:


> How exciting for you!! I thought I planned my wedding in no time when I did it in three months!! LOL
> 
> Are you having a big wedding or small? Church? Reception hall?? What's the dress like? Details lady!



Okay, this totally turned into Seussian verse in my head. 

*Oh, the wedding you'll throw!*

Are you having a big wedding or small?

Church? 

Outside?

Or reception hall?

Give us details on the dress!

Be careful not to explode from the stress!

~fin


----------



## mergirl

i for one, bet you both will look Glam
and at the buffet green eggs and ham?


----------



## comaseason

Tracii said:


> OMG what a hurtful thing to say.I would feel the same way.



Thanks Tracii.



Keb said:


> Your feeling is completely understandable...but if they honestly feel (for whatever reason--just read an article, or just heard something on the news that scared them) that you're in danger because of your weight, the motive could still be love for you. Keeping that in mind might make it easier to forgive them.



You make a very good point Keb. I took some time to think really long and hard about where the comment came from. In the end I think that might be part of it. But the way it came out, the context of the conversation was kind of... well you can't possibly expect to be happy when you're fat... if you lose weight everything will get better for you. It was such a ridiculous statement. What I realize now is that it was projection, she's gaining a little bit of weight and that's what SHE thinks about HERSELF.



mergirl said:


> ROOOAR!!!!!! By the power of greyskull..i feel the need to kick arse!!!!!
> That sucks!!!!



Who knew that all I needed was a he-man reference to feel good and giggly again? Thanks lady


----------



## goofy girl

Teleute said:


> Okay, this totally turned into Seussian verse in my head.
> 
> *Oh, the wedding you'll throw!*
> 
> Are you having a big wedding or small?
> 
> Church?
> 
> Outside?
> 
> Or reception hall?
> 
> Give us details on the dress!
> 
> Be careful not to explode from the stress!
> 
> ~fin





mergirl said:


> i for one, bet you both will look Glam
> and at the buffet green eggs and ham?



haha it sounded a lot like that in my head, too and I actually toned it down a bit after I read my original post LOL


----------



## MisticalMisty

goofy girl said:


> How exciting for you!! I thought I planned my wedding in no time when I did it in three months!! LOL
> 
> Are you having a big wedding or small? Church? Reception hall?? What's the dress like? Details lady!



Wow..so many questions 

We are having something very, very small. We will probably do it at the courthouse. If the judge isn't available, we will probably get married at our house.

We are getting married NYE. I have to work until noon. I posted a picture of my dress in the "what did you buy today" thread on the fashion board.

That's really about it


----------



## MisticalMisty

Teleute said:


> Okay, this totally turned into Seussian verse in my head.
> 
> *Oh, the wedding you'll throw!*
> 
> Are you having a big wedding or small?
> 
> Church?
> 
> Outside?
> 
> Or reception hall?
> 
> Give us details on the dress!
> 
> Be careful not to explode from the stress!
> 
> ~fin


This is great  Thank you!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tania said:


> IC that it is TOTALLY POSSIBLE for one to get REALLY SICK binging on only 400 kcal worth of sugar-free, fat-free candy.
> 
> Well, it's totally possible for me, anyway, because I am just that brand of loser. :/



Well then add me to that brand of loser lol. I get sicker on eating bunches of diet candy/snacks than regular calorie ones. I cannot drink any diet drinks 'cause they make my stomach soooooo upset.



kayrae said:


> Self-censorship sucks



:bow: I second that.


----------



## goofy girl

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Well then add me to that brand of loser lol. I get sicker on eating bunches of diet candy/snacks than regular calorie ones. I cannot drink any diet drinks 'cause they make my stomach soooooo upset.
> 
> 
> 
> :bow: I second that.



It's from the sorbitol, which most sugar free candy has. I can't even use sugar free cough medicine or anything because most of them have sorbitol, which is also a laxative.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I am not a big fan of a white Christmas...I do not mind any other time just not Christmas!


----------



## Tania

IC that life is cruel and ironic and I'm seriously fucking sick of that shit because it's hurting my feelings. 

Not surprisingly, I've also got "Blasphemous Rumors" by Depeche Mode stuck in my head.


----------



## littlefairywren

Tania said:


> IC that life is cruel and ironic and I'm seriously fucking sick of that shit because it's hurting my feelings.
> 
> Not surprisingly, I've also got "Blasphemous Rumors" by Depeche Mode stuck in my head.



Big ((((HUGS)))) from across the ocean Tania, hope things get better real soon. You deserve the very best!!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> Big ((((HUGS)))) from across the ocean Tania, hope things get better real soon. You deserve the very best!!



I second that!


----------



## sweet&fat

Tania said:


> IC that life is cruel and ironic and I'm seriously fucking sick of that shit because it's hurting my feelings.
> 
> Not surprisingly, I've also got "Blasphemous Rumors" by Depeche Mode stuck in my head.



I hear you, girl. Sometimes life is a kick in the teeth for such uncontrollable and deeply unfair reasons. The only thing that helps is surrounding yourself with the people who care about you. (((hugs)))


----------



## Tania

*hugs the three of you*


----------



## Frankie

My confession: I'm officially nuts. In the past two weeks I have spent a little over $700 on Christmas for five cats that my boyfriend and mother have between them. Of course, we know they'll like best the cardboard boxes in which their presents were shipped. I have no idea what to get the bf and mom, though. I've finally run out of ideas for them. I can be completely frivolous only with the kitties.


----------



## Fascinita

I'm feeling really discouraged about a lot of things tonight. If possible, I'd appreciate some good thoughts from those of you who know me. Might help me feel a bit grounded again.


----------



## Tania

Whatever you need, you got it! :*


----------



## steely

Fascinita said:


> I'm feeling really discouraged about a lot of things tonight. If possible, I'd appreciate some good thoughts from those of you who know me. Might help me feel a bit grounded again.



Good thoughts still coming through today. Hope they help.  They certainly can't hurt.


----------



## Fascinita

steely said:


> Good thoughts still coming through today. Hope they help.  They certainly can't hurt.



Thank you, steely and lovely folks who replied. Got some long sleep and feel better today. It's amazing how wired a head can feel under the stress of writing deadlines. Throw in a little cabin fever and maybe a touch of SAD and.... whooooo-boy.

Thanks again, friends. :wubu:


----------



## comaseason

Fascinita said:


> Thank you, steely and lovely folks who replied. Got some long sleep and feel better today. It's amazing how wired a head can feel under the stress of writing deadlines. Throw in a little cabin fever and maybe a touch of SAD and.... whooooo-boy.
> 
> Thanks again, friends. :wubu:



Hope you're doing better and feeling more focused after your rest!

I gots tha fevah too. Been trying to get stuff done around the house but with the weather being under 20 for the past week, I can't even go take a walk to clear my head. I get all jumbled when I can't talk a walk for at least 45 minutes or so. I got to stretch and listen to my tunes to feel like my normal cherub self.

Seriously I need out of this friggin house.


----------



## Fascinita

comaseason said:


> Seriously I need out of this friggin house.



I hope it warms up soon for you. Actually, my back was acting up pretty badly and has only recently started behaving itself again. I need to get some regular walking in soon, myself.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

IC I was quite depressed last night and already into today. I have a few errands (oh boy, going to the post office at this time of year's going to put me in even a lovelier mood ) and plan on walking the track.....hopefully that will help. I know what's depressing me, but there really isn't an answer.  I'm trying to be upbeat...........but damn it's hard.


----------



## luscious_lulu

MizzSnakeBite said:


> IC I was quite depressed last night and already into today. I have a few errands (oh boy, going to the post office at this time of year's going to put me in even a lovelier mood ) and plan on walking the track.....hopefully that will help. I know what's depressing me, but there really isn't an answer.  I'm trying to be upbeat...........but damn it's hard.




((((hugs)))) Sorry you're feeling sad. 


Went to the pharmacy today and checked my blood pressure. It's in the normal range now. Thank goodness the medication is working. One less thing to worry about.


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> IC I was quite depressed last night and already into today. I have a few errands (oh boy, going to the post office at this time of year's going to put me in even a lovelier mood ) and plan on walking the track.....hopefully that will help. I know what's depressing me, but there really isn't an answer.  I'm trying to be upbeat...........but damn it's hard.



Oh hon, I hope you are feeling better now. Here is a big ((((hug)))) for you


----------



## Crystal

IC that due to doctor's orders, I have not had a shower since Friday morning, before my surgery.

Today, I get to take a shower! I will have to replace the bandages on my stomach and belly-button, and *gross alert* my doctor told me that if my belly-button...umm...oozes, that that's a good thing. He said, "You need to make sure it's cleaned out."

...fun times.


----------



## Tania

I hope you're healing well, dear.


----------



## Fluffy51888

IC that this is the first time ever that I've been so hurt and upset that I've been physically sick. I need a hug and some serious chocolate. :really sad:


----------



## firefly

&


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> ((((hugs)))) Sorry you're feeling sad.
> 
> 
> Went to the pharmacy today and checked my blood pressure. It's in the normal range now. Thank goodness the medication is working. One less thing to worry about.



Thanks lulu .

I'm glad your bp is now in normal range. When I was going though that, it was awful.



littlefairywren said:


> Oh hon, I hope you are feeling better now. Here is a big ((((hug)))) for you



Thanks dear . I don't know.....it's sticking around and I'm feeling quite.....alone and lost? I don't know.....

I'm trying to slap a smile on my face, be upbeat and cheerful, but it's hard to do when I feel like bursting out in tears.



CrystalUT11 said:


> IC that due to doctor's orders, I have not had a shower since Friday morning, before my surgery.
> 
> Today, I get to take a shower! I will have to replace the bandages on my stomach and belly-button, and *gross alert* my doctor told me that if my belly-button...umm...oozes, that that's a good thing. He said, "You need to make sure it's cleaned out."
> 
> ...fun times.



You'll feel so much better after your shower. I hope you continue to heal well and have no complications.



Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that this is the first time ever that I've been so hurt and upset that I've been physically sick. I need a hug and some serious chocolate. :really sad:



(((((((HUGS)))))))


----------



## luscious_lulu

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that this is the first time ever that I've been so hurt and upset that I've been physically sick. I need a hug and some serious chocolate. :really sad:



(((((Hugs)))))


----------



## Punkin1024

IC I wish I could bring some cheer to all of you, then perhaps I'd feel in the holiday spirit too. I did finally finish all my cards, but still haven't finished decorating the house and everything is a mess. Sigh!


----------



## Saoirse

IC i got pretty wasted last night, spent a lot of money on beer and then (in my own silly way) hit on a cute guy with a guitar.

But he gave me a cd, so it was totes worth it.


----------



## Fluffy51888

Thank you guys so much. You don't know how much I needed that.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

IC: I'm not feeling quite as depressed. Some of my parrot friends sent me boxes of bird toys and it felt good to be able to open something and know that the babies were going to be in toy fun land .

Also, Scrabbie, my Grey, has been helping me out :wubu:. He's been giving me lots of extra "birdie hugs" and making me laugh. I posted some of his comments on the "what made me happy today" thread, but for those that don't subscribe or read that, here's a very, very, very brief amount of what he said today:

My African Grey, Scrabble, just cracked me up all night. He wanted to sit on his room (cage), and was talking and talking. He was ready for bed, so here went the discussion:
_Scrabble_: "How are you?"
_Me_: "I'm ok, how are you?"
_Scrabble_: "Ready for bed."

Then another, this is all Scrabble, "I'm ready for bed, night niiiiiiiiight, ready for bed, ready for bed, ready for bed, ready for bed. <I'm ignoring him for the moment> Get through this door right now! I'm ready for bed!"

Yesterday, he was calling for me by name, then when that didn't work, he said, "pretty girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl!"

I'll have to agree with his statement that he's "my baby" and "THE Baby" :wubu:


----------



## Tania

"I'm the baby. GOTTA LOVE ME."


----------



## Frankie

MizzSnakeBite said:


> IC: I'm not feeling quite as depressed. Some of my parrot friends sent me boxes of bird toys and it felt good to be able to open something and know that the babies were going to be in toy fun land .
> 
> Also, Scrabbie, my Grey, has been helping me out :wubu:. He's been giving me lots of extra "birdie hugs" and making me laugh. I posted some of his comments on the "what made me happy today" thread, but for those that don't subscribe or read that, here's a very, very, very brief amount of what he said today:
> 
> My African Grey, Scrabble, just cracked me up all night. He wanted to sit on his room (cage), and was talking and talking. He was ready for bed, so here went the discussion:
> _Scrabble_: "How are you?"
> _Me_: "I'm ok, how are you?"
> _Scrabble_: "Ready for bed."
> 
> Then another, this is all Scrabble, "I'm ready for bed, night niiiiiiiiight, ready for bed, ready for bed, ready for bed, ready for bed. <I'm ignoring him for the moment> Get through this door right now! I'm ready for bed!"
> 
> Yesterday, he was calling for me by name, then when that didn't work, he said, "pretty girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl!"
> 
> I'll have to agree with his statement that he's "my baby" and "THE Baby" :wubu:



This is hilarious! I LOVE birds. Several years ago I thought I would get one or two, but I love cats very much and I don't suppose you could easily mix the two!


----------



## Punkin1024

MizzSnakeBite - I love your Scrabble stories! I think birds are fascinating, but, I'm a cat person too (like Frankie). I'm actually more like Ellie May Clampett in that I love animals. Just can't afford to have a zoo at my house, can barely afford the 9 cats we do have!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

I am so sorry ladies that life is sucking right now...I wish you all the best and hope it turns around..

IC,I am such a procrastinator that I still have not wrapped 1 present..I just can not get in the mood to do it..I need to because I am babysitting tomorrow and my lil chickadee does not need to see what G'ma bought!


----------



## Punkin1024

I've been wandering around all day in a blue funk. I have no idea why. The only thing I can come up with is that it is time for the annual self-review at work. I literally hate those things! There are 7 questions with a list of characteristics listed that you have to rate yourself on and then you have to write 3 to 4 sentences to support your rating...and then you gotta list what actions to take to help improve your job performance! Gack!  Okay, that must be it! Sigh! :doh:


----------



## Tania

IC that I am SUPER EXCITED that my old attraction, Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln, is reopening tomorrow at Disneyland. Even better, this version of the show revives the original PAUL FREES narration and features ROYAL DANO as President Lincoln. 

http://ocresort.freedomblogging.com...incoln-attraction-set-to-return-friday/28547/

And perhaps best of all...NO 36 COLUMBIAD BLASTS IN MY LEFT EAR EVERY HOUR.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tania said:


> "I'm the baby. GOTTA LOVE ME."



That's pretty much how it is :happy: lol And if a person dares NOT to wuv The Baby.......watch out!!  He has a "goodness" radar on him. He knows if a person is nice or not, has good intentions or not by one glace. And if you hurt his Momma, oh boy.........you might need a bandage...........well, cancel that, you will need a bandage!



Frankie said:


> This is hilarious! I LOVE birds. Several years ago I thought I would get one or two, but I love cats very much and I don't suppose you could easily mix the two!



It can be very hard to mix the two. I've been very lucky that all but one of my cats have been very good about them. One cat was a complete monster, she'd try to get in Scrabbie's cage, would bite me without any provocation (breaking the skin), attack the other cats and make them miserable, so we had to find her another home. She'd even go and attack and bite the crap outta 75lb dogs. She needed a home where she was the only pet.



Punkin1024 said:


> MizzSnakeBite - I love your Scrabble stories! I think birds are fascinating, but, I'm a cat person too (like Frankie). I'm actually more like Ellie May Clampett in that I love animals. Just can't afford to have a zoo at my house, can barely afford the 9 cats we do have!



Oh thank you, thank you , or as The Baby says, "tank you." :happy:

We used to have a huge zoo at our house, but as they have aged, we've not gotten anymore. 

Before anyone zooms out of the house and buys a bird, especially a larger sized one, they take a HUGE amount of time and energy since they need to be intellectually stimulated, it takes a HUGE amount of time to prepare a correct diet (not just seeds and pellets), and a HUGE amount of money (for cages, toys (a MUST, and very expensive, especially if you have a large parrot) and food. I make my own for that reason, plus, I know what my guys like to play with. That has morphed into a shed that holds soooooooooooo many toy parts, at least 5 large power tools, and involvement in a non-profit that makes toys for birds in need of toys. They're not cheap pets, but they're worth it to me and have given me great joy. :happy:



BubbleButtBabe said:


> I am so sorry ladies that life is sucking right now...I wish you all the best and hope it turns around..



Thanks 



Punkin1024 said:


> I've been wandering around all day in a blue funk. I have no idea why. The only thing I can come up with is that it is time for the annual self-review at work. I literally hate those things! There are 7 questions with a list of characteristics listed that you have to rate yourself on and then you have to write 3 to 4 sentences to support your rating...and then you gotta list what actions to take to help improve your job performance! Gack!  Okay, that must be it! Sigh! :doh:



Ummm, yeah lol, that would be very stressful to say the least!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tania said:


> IC that I am SUPER EXCITED that my old attraction, Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln, is reopening tomorrow at Disneyland. Even better, this version of the show revives the original PAUL FREES narration and features ROYAL DANO as President Lincoln.
> 
> http://ocresort.freedomblogging.com...incoln-attraction-set-to-return-friday/28547/
> 
> And perhaps best of all...NO 36 COLUMBIAD BLASTS IN MY LEFT EAR EVERY HOUR.



You're such a history nerd   

P.S. The link didn't work


----------



## Tania

It looks like the page file isn't loading properly! Oh well, check back later. 

Here's an earlier piece from the same OC Register blog, posted after the attraction preview session at the D23 Expo in September...

http://ocresort.freedomblogging.com...-lincoln-mixes-technology-with-emotion/17981/


----------



## MisticalMisty

I am getting married in 12 days.


----------



## TallFatSue

MisticalMisty said:


> I am getting married in 12 days.


That's wonderful. The day will be here before you know it. Need we ask if you're getting nervous (but in a good way)?


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC I'm still angry. I want to call him and scream at him. I want him to hurt as much as he hurt me. Petty I know, but it's how I feel.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tania said:


> It looks like the page file isn't loading properly! Oh well, check back later.
> 
> Here's an earlier piece from the same OC Register blog, posted after the attraction preview session at the D23 Expo in September...
> 
> http://ocresort.freedomblogging.com...-lincoln-mixes-technology-with-emotion/17981/



Works now. He's somewhat frightening  lol



luscious_lulu said:


> IC I'm still angry. I want to call him and scream at him. I want him to hurt as much as he hurt me. Petty I know, but it's how I feel.



((((Hugs)))) I don't think it's petty.......I think it shows how deeply he hurt you.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

IC: I'm sick . I feel like I've been run over by a train. In fact, I'd love to be run over by a train right now.


----------



## Saoirse

ic i took a shower about 2 hours ago and i still have my hair wrapped up in a towel. wonder if its dry?


----------



## Tooz

Saoirse said:


> ic i took a shower about 2 hours ago and i still have my hair wrapped up in a towel. wonder if its dry?



omg i do this


----------



## Keb

IC I -love- eating fresh fallen snow. Add a bit of juice for flavor, and it's the BEST. Though one can get a little cold doing this...


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> IC: I'm sick . I feel like I've been run over by a train. In fact, I'd love to be run over by a train right now.



Feel better soon, big ((((HUGS))))


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> Feel better soon, big ((((HUGS))))



Thank you dear, but this still hasn't stopped me from posting some favorite pics........ 

I don't think any of these have been seen here before......

Ms. Sis Showing Off Her Yellow Wiffle Ball (her favorite color)....
View attachment Sis with wiffle tiny.jpg


Scabble Summoning His Inner Cockatoo...
View attachment Scrab Summoning His Inner Cockatoo 2 9-07resz.jpg


Kumquat After a Bath.......
View attachment Kum Head after bath3-17-07resz.jpg




P.S. I haven't grown a snout, so it just must be the regular flu


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Keb said:


> IC I -love- eating fresh fallen snow. Add a bit of juice for flavor, and it's the BEST. Though one can get a little cold doing this...



Just watch out for the yellow "juiced" snow........


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Thank you dear, but this still hasn't stopped me from posting some favorite pics........
> 
> I don't think any of these have been seen here before......
> 
> Ms. Sis Showing Off Her Yellow Wiffle Ball (her favorite color)....
> View attachment 74426
> 
> 
> Scabble Summoning His Inner Cockatoo...
> View attachment 74427
> 
> 
> Kumquat After a Bath.......
> View attachment 74425
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> P.S. I haven't grown a snout, so it just must be the regular flu



Pretty babies! Ms. Sis is my fav, I love green birdies. I had a little boy budgie, that colour too. His name was Munchkin because he drew so much blood. Nasty little blighter 

Keep warm, and drink plenty of fluids girl!


----------



## Aust99

IC I have a date tomorrow with a new guy... I'm 25... he's 21... and I'm not sure if it bothers me.... Time will tell... fingers crossed it goes well.


----------



## littlefairywren

Aust99 said:


> IC I have a date tomorrow with a new guy... I'm 25... he's 21... and I'm not sure if it bothers me.... Time will tell... fingers crossed it goes well.



Good luck, have fun!!!


----------



## luscious_lulu

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Works now.
> ((((Hugs)))) I don't think it's petty.......I think it shows how deeply he hurt you.



Thanks MSB.


----------



## luscious_lulu

MizzSnakeBite said:


> IC: I'm sick . I feel like I've been run over by a train. In fact, I'd love to be run over by a train right now.



Feel better.


----------



## tinkerbell

MisticalMisty said:


> I am getting married in 12 days.



Thats so exciting! Congrats!!


----------



## Frankie

I confess I love MizzSnakeBite and her mini flock. Such beautiful pics of your babies.  One reason I can't wait to move from an apartment to a house in 2010 is so I can have a yard and some birdfeeders. I've been banned from feeding the birds here. They told me to stop "throwing garbage out of my windows" when really I was just putting bird seed on the windowsills. Frankie and I loved to watch the birds. We fed the squirrels, too, and everyone got along. We sometimes got red cardinals and bluejays in addition to the more "common" birds. I even like pigeons and think they're underappreciated.


----------



## MisticalMisty

tinkerbell said:


> Thats so exciting! Congrats!!



Thank you


----------



## ashmamma84

IC that I have moments when I think about my life and I just cry. Tears of joy.

I am so grateful to have a life full of love, peace, and other comforts money just really can't buy. Of course, shiny and sparkly things are nice and lawd knows I love me some "stuff". But at the end of the day, it's the connection I feel to my friends and my family that give me such a deep and unmovable satisfaction. -sigh- I cherish my loved ones; they really make life sweeter.


----------



## Punkin1024

I"m still waiting on my Christmas PJ's...wah! I've seen so many 40%, 50% off sales ads from Woman Within and I'm dying to buy, but can't. Sigh! Oh well, I am getting new PJ's from Christmas! Just can't wear 'em to work. Ha! I also confess that I'm tired of having to put work clothes over fun stuff. Sigh!


----------



## mossystate

Wouldn't it be nice if fat women were allowed the same freedom of speech ( including bashing ), here on the bbw forum. Wouldn't it be nice. I am fat, and this is my confession.


----------



## Tania

IC that I'm having quite a bit of trouble getting into the Christmas spirit. This is normally my very favorite time of year...why can't I take comfort in the holidays like I usually do?


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mossystate said:


> Wouldn't it be nice if fat women were allowed the same freedom of speech ( including bashing ), here on the bbw forum. Wouldn't it be nice. I am fat, and this is my confession.



But Mossy!, don't you remember in the Fat Woman Handbook that we're supposed to be subservient and agree with what ever the other person's saying?!? After all, our heads are full of mush and we cannot think for ourselves! 

IC: I'm being completely sarcastic and completely agree with Mizz Mossy.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> Pretty babies! Ms. Sis is my fav, I love green birdies. I had a little boy budgie, that colour too. His name was Munchkin because he drew so much blood. Nasty little blighter
> 
> Keep warm, and drink plenty of fluids girl!



Sis' a character. You can't tell by that pic, but she has a "vest" of yellow feathers.

Since budgies are so inexpensive (at least here) and are easy to breed, they (breeders) almost always don't handfeed them. During the handfeeding process, the baby starts bonding with people. Handfed budgies are quite a bit more expensive, but they have less aggression issues towards people. I had budgies off and on during my childhood. While they were all adorable, they were all out for blood. 





Frankie said:


> I confess I love MizzSnakeBite and her mini flock. Such beautiful pics of your babies.  One reason I can't wait to move from an apartment to a house in 2010 is so I can have a yard and some birdfeeders. I've been banned from feeding the birds here. They told me to stop "throwing garbage out of my windows" when really I was just putting bird seed on the windowsills. Frankie and I loved to watch the birds. We fed the squirrels, too, and everyone got along. We sometimes got red cardinals and bluejays in addition to the more "common" birds. I even like pigeons and think they're underappreciated.



As The Baby says, "tank you, tank you" 

I like pigeons too......those fat, feathered fluffballs


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

IC: I hate this year's holiday season and cannot wait until it's over and done with.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> Feel better.



Thank you, and I hope you're feeling better.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

*Kumquat says, "Where's the Birdie?"*
View attachment KUMQUAT X-MAS 2 12-07 75 per.jpg


*Isis says, "Quick!! I see presents!!!"*
View attachment SISSY X-MAS in the Ornaments 12-07 75per.jpg


*Scrabble says, "What will be in my stocking?"*
View attachment SCRABBLE X-MAS 12-07 75per.jpg


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> *Kumquat says, "Where's the Birdie?"*
> View attachment 74479
> 
> 
> *Isis says, "Quick!! I see presents!!!"*
> View attachment 74478
> 
> 
> *Scrabble says, "What will be in my stocking?"*
> View attachment 74480



Gosh, they would have loved that! I can just imagine them doing that taste test of everything, that birdies love to do 
Kumquat is the most amazing colour!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> Gosh, they would have loved that! I can just imagine them doing that taste test of everything, that birdies love to do
> Kumquat is the most amazing colour!



Actually, they weren't exactly thrilled at my idea lol. I thought 'quat would be the one to absolutely FREAK OUT, but he was Mr. Calm and Collected. Me thinks he likes to have his pic taken . Sis was second best, but after peering at all her various reflections, she decided she had enough. Usually, she's a photo whore lollol. She poses like crazy lol. Such a girl.  Scrabbie.......oh lordie.....he kept saying, "I'm ready!!" Meaning, "I'm ready to LEAVE!" I got maybe three shots of him and was lucky. I have another x-mas photo of him somewhere. I can't find the pic right now, but it was used in a newsletter.....

http://www.parrottoyangels.com/newsletter/dec07.html

He's quite the talented bird, he co-wrote an article on Timneh Greys (what he is), wrote a correction all by himself, AND wrote an article all by himself! Such a smart boy, but of course, he's a Grey afterall! :bow:

http://www.parrottoyangels.com/newsletter/july08.html (Featured Fid)
http://www.parrottoyangels.com/newsletter/aug08.html (under "Corrections")
http://www.parrottoyangels.com/newsletter/feb09.html (Sir Scrabble Babble's Guide to Wooing the Chicks)

Of course, all of them have been newsletter cyberfolds.


----------



## Tania

Super cute photos, Devi!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tania said:


> Super cute photos, Devi!



Thank ya, thank ya, thank ya. Having super cute models helps .


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

IC: I think this is funny:

Everyone dreams of having a "White Christmas", right?

December 8: 6:00 PM it started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.

December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry; we'll definitely have a White Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14: Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to 20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way.

December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. After all, we aren't in Alaska.

December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think, was very cruel.

December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the darn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Darn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white crap fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, peed and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the SOB is lying.

December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24: 6" snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the SOB who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his ears. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the darn snowplow.

December 25: Merry Christmas! 20 more inches of the !!?%!?! slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her.

December 26: Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.

December 28: Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. The wife is driving me crazy!!!

December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30: Roof caved in. The snowplow driver is suing me for a million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.

December 31: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

If and when I get out of here,........."White Christmas" or not, I'm moving back to Florida!!!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

mossystate said:


> Wouldn't it be nice if fat women were allowed the same freedom of speech ( including bashing ), here on the bbw forum. Wouldn't it be nice. I am fat, and this is my confession.




I feel the same way.....seems like we're "not allowed" to talk about men anywhere on these boards....unless, of course, it's to express gratitude of some sort......

Fuck that shit.


----------



## Punkin1024

Don't know what's going on, but, I'm going to act out of character this evening!

It's been a tough, yucky day in the neighborhood! Sigh! Work was work, however, after getting back from lunch, I learned that my boss, her boss and another fellow employee all went home sick with a stomach virus. Sigh...break out the Lysol! Hubby had a doctor appointment to see about an infection on his finger and some questionable looking spots on his ear. Dr. told him he had a type of staph infection on his finger, froze off two spots on his ear (we'd only seen one) and he is now taking antibiotics. Sigh! We got home this evening and I found that one of our darling kitties had made a wreck of my bathroom. One of them had knocked my nail polish basket in the floor, breaking a bottle of red polish! I had to clean up the mess and in the process wrecked my manicure. So, I picked out a lovely glittery mauve polish, warmed up some chicken spaghetti and I'm gonna watch "A Christmas Story" 'cause I need to laugh.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I feel the same way.....seems like we're "not allowed" to talk about men anywhere on these boards....unless, of course, it's to express gratitude of some sort......
> 
> Fuck that shit.



Well, plan on looking for some needed advice about a particular man (not one on Dims I hope). Down and dirty.



Punkin1024 said:


> Don't know what's going on, but, I'm going to act out of character this evening!
> 
> It's been a tough, yucky day in the neighborhood! Sigh! Work was work, however, after getting back from lunch, I learned that my boss, her boss and another fellow employee all went home sick with a stomach virus. Sigh...break out the Lysol! Hubby had a doctor appointment to see about an infection on his finger and some questionable looking spots on his ear. Dr. told him he had a type of staph infection on his finger, froze off two spots on his ear (we'd only seen one) and he is now taking antibiotics. Sigh! We got home this evening and I found that one of our darling kitties had made a wreck of my bathroom. One of them had knocked my nail polish basket in the floor, breaking a bottle of red polish! I had to clean up the mess and in the process wrecked my manicure. So, I picked out a lovely glittery mauve polish, warmed up some chicken spaghetti and I'm gonna watch "A Christmas Story" 'cause I need to laugh.



Ya know, it's just the holidays. They just wear us out and everything gets on our last nerve. So much is going on, and then add the normal chaos of our daily lives, and we just lose it. Too much stress to take, and then add someone being sick (or the possibility of becoming sick) when you know you'll be around extra family members and friends........
Hugs,
Mizz


----------



## KaliCurves

IC I cant wait to send my my kids off to there dads for a week and get the hell out of California, and head to New Hampshire to be with my fiance. I miss him so much and Im really starting to get edgy and snappy lately because I am missing him so much. I am becoming that bitter old bitch who hates seeing everyone else happy because she cant be right now.


----------



## mergirl

mossystate said:


> Wouldn't it be nice if fat women were allowed the same freedom of speech ( including bashing ), here on the bbw forum. Wouldn't it be nice. I am fat, and this is my confession.





Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I feel the same way.....seems like we're "not allowed" to talk about men anywhere on these boards....unless, of course, it's to express gratitude of some sort......
> 
> Fuck that shit.



yeah.. see this is why i'm so glad i'm a woman in sensible shoes, cause its cool to talk about woominz on the rest of the boards.. about what bits i like/dislike... i feel like i have utter freedom of expression to direct at the objects of my sexuality! Plus i get to talk about my experiences of being a woman HERE...Within reason of course! 
:eat1: nom nom nom 
 giggle giggle giggle


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mergirl said:


> i'm a woman in sensible shoes



ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!  ...........sensible shoes...........<still laughing>........


----------



## mergirl

MizzSnakeBite said:


> ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!  ...........sensible shoes...........<still laughing>........


Well.. i do have a pair of knee high leather boots but i only wear them occassionally.. read into that what you will!! lmao. but.. seriously.. i wear converse mainly!


----------



## mossystate

What a silly thing that, simply expecting that if one ' protected ' forum is to be free of outright demeaning garbage, that any and all ' protected ' forums should be, gets so many people so up in arms. One of the reasons I do not post all over that other forum, is that I am respecting the rules. It is kind of normal and natural to be a little upset when one place is so moderated, and the other is not only not, but welcomes the kind of threads that talks about the need to put bags over the heads of women you wanna screw...which is total locker room talk, but not at all like some women talking about how a small dick is worthless to them...oh no, not at all. I wish some would understand the issue here. If it is simply a matter of ' stay out '...fine...but it's not.......is it. Amazing that rules are different for different forums. That certainly ends up making very clear, whose voice matters.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I am sad I do not get to spend tomorrow with my g'baby..I miss her when she is gone and want to spend as much time with her as I can..I want her to always remember me as the fun G'ma..


----------



## littlefairywren

IC, that I know it is Christmas and I should be happy....but I feel so lonely. This has not been a good time of year for me for a long time now, and I am tired of it being this way. So tired


----------



## mergirl

I hated xmas for about 10 years. It made me panic, i had to spend time with people i wasn't comfortable with at the time and basically i couldn't wait till it was over. The past couple of years havn't been so bad as basically i tell myself its going to be shit and what i get is a day where i lay about all day eating, getting slighty tipsy and watching shit tv, which is kinna nice really. Its just another day but one where its ok to do nothing while getting drunk and eating till you spew! 
in seriousness.. big cuddles to anyone who feels sad this xmas and wants it to be over... it soon will be.. then we will have easter.. Which i actually DO really really hate for some reason!! 
((((((shitty xmas hugs))))))))))
*the xmas is shitty not the hugs, they are cozy and heartfelt with nice perfume and a cardigan and lots of boobage*


----------



## littlefairywren

Hey mer, you are just the sweetest girl in sensible shoes I know 
((((((shitty xmas hugs)))))) to you too!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Hugss Wren..I understand how you feel..It has only been the last couple of years I have really wanted to celebrate Christmas..I hope you can spend some time with family and friends you love..


----------



## mossystate

In the next two days I am making...

* peanut butter fudge
* chocolate mint fudge
* pecan tartlets
* lemon cheesecake cookies
* pumpkin bread with orange zest cream cheese filling
* a fruitcake bread with a variety of dried fruits and pecans
* Hershey Kiss cookies
* Oh Henry bars
* Chocolate Sundae cookies...aka...The Best Cookie Ever ( especially mine )
* Mexican Wedding cookies

Two batches of most of these....:blink:


----------



## littlefairywren

BubbleButtBabe said:


> Hugss Wren..I understand how you feel..It has only been the last couple of years I have really wanted to celebrate Christmas..I hope you can spend some time with family and friends you love..



Ta Bubble 
PS. I think you would be a cool G'ma!


----------



## luscious_lulu

mossystate said:


> In the next two days I am making...
> 
> * peanut butter fudge
> * chocolate mint fudge
> * pecan tartlets
> * lemon cheesecake cookies
> * pumpkin bread with orange zest cream cheese filling
> * a fruitcake bread with a variety of dried fruits and pecans
> * Hershey Kiss cookies
> * Oh Henry bars
> * Chocolate Sundae cookies...aka...The Best Cookie Ever ( especially mine )
> * Mexican Wedding cookies
> 
> Two batches of most of these....:blink:




I'll send you my mailing address, k?


----------



## Punkin1024

mossystate said:


> In the next two days I am making...
> 
> * peanut butter fudge
> * chocolate mint fudge
> * pecan tartlets
> * lemon cheesecake cookies
> * pumpkin bread with orange zest cream cheese filling
> * a fruitcake bread with a variety of dried fruits and pecans
> * Hershey Kiss cookies
> * Oh Henry bars
> * Chocolate Sundae cookies...aka...The Best Cookie Ever ( especially mine )
> * Mexican Wedding cookies
> 
> Two batches of most of these....:blink:



Oh my! Mossy that is an ambitious list! You must be like my Mom, she always baked up a storm during the holidays. We never lacked in goodies at Mom's house. Wish I could fly up to Seattle to lend a hand. Merry Christmas!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

IC that I'm not a good dough maker.....I was reminded of this when making those sugar cookies with my girls. I'm a much more talented button-painter-onner.......

I also confess that the gaping hole left from one my wisdom teeth being removed is bothering me......even with the vicodin. I knew I would suffer later......:doh:


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mergirl said:


> Well.. i do have a pair of knee high leather boots but i only wear them occassionally.. read into that what you will!! lmao. but.. seriously.. i wear converse mainly!



Oh I'm reading........hehehehehehe!   



mossystate said:


> What a silly thing that, simply expecting that if one ' protected ' forum is to be free of outright demeaning garbage, that any and all ' protected ' forums should be, gets so many people so up in arms. One of the reasons I do not post all over that other forum, is that I am respecting the rules. It is kind of normal and natural to be a little upset when one place is so moderated, and the other is not only not, but welcomes the kind of threads that talks about the need to put bags over the heads of women you wanna screw...which is total locker room talk, but not at all like some women talking about how a small dick is worthless to them...oh no, not at all. I wish some would understand the issue here. If it is simply a matter of ' stay out '...fine...but it's not.......is it. Amazing that rules are different for different forums. That certainly ends up making very clear, whose voice matters.



Ahhhhhhhh, but Mizz Mossy...........remember the gender of the site's owner..... Just sayin'......



littlefairywren said:


> IC, that I know it is Christmas and I should be happy....but I feel so lonely. This has not been a good time of year for me for a long time now, and I am tired of it being this way. So tired



((((((((((Hugs)))))))))) to my chickadee! You know I understand. 



mergirl said:


> I hated xmas for about 10 years. It made me panic, i had to spend time with people i wasn't comfortable with at the time and basically i couldn't wait till it was over. The past couple of years havn't been so bad as basically i tell myself its going to be shit and what i get is a day where i lay about all day eating, getting slighty tipsy and watching shit tv, which is kinna nice really. Its just another day but one where its ok to do nothing while getting drunk and eating till you spew!
> in seriousness.. big cuddles to anyone who feels sad this xmas and wants it to be over... it soon will be.. then we will have easter.. Which i actually DO really really hate for some reason!!
> ((((((shitty xmas hugs))))))))))
> *the xmas is shitty not the hugs, they are cozy and heartfelt with nice perfume and a cardigan and lots of boobage*



((((((((((((shitty xmas, extra boobage hugs to Mizz Mer)))))))))))))))


mossystate said:


> In the next two days I am making...
> 
> * peanut butter fudge
> * chocolate mint fudge
> * pecan tartlets
> * lemon cheesecake cookies
> * pumpkin bread with orange zest cream cheese filling
> * a fruitcake bread with a variety of dried fruits and pecans
> * Hershey Kiss cookies
> * Oh Henry bars
> * Chocolate Sundae cookies...aka...The Best Cookie Ever ( especially mine )
> * Mexican Wedding cookies
> 
> Two batches of most of these....:blink:



I'll be right over!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> IC that I'm not a good dough maker.....I was reminded of this when making those sugar cookies with my girls. I'm a much more talented button-painter-onner.......
> 
> I also confess that the gaping hole left from one my wisdom teeth being removed is bothering me......even with the vicodin. I knew I would suffer later......:doh:



Hope you start feeling better fast!! I got a dry socket once.......fun times.

Wuv your new over the avatar label


----------



## MisticalMisty

My mom is under a blizzard warning today. *sigh* I hope we can go over the river, and through the woods tomorrow.

I don't want a white Christmas if it means I can't make it to my family.


Damn you weather...DAMN YOU


----------



## firefly

IC - I'm feeling lonely, although there's my parents here for christmas. I wish there would be someone again I could spend the holidays with - just relaxing on the sofa and being cuddled. *sigh*


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

MisticalMisty said:


> My mom is under a blizzard warning today. *sigh* I hope we can go over the river, and through the woods tomorrow.
> 
> I don't want a white Christmas if it means I can't make it to my family.
> 
> 
> Damn you weather...DAMN YOU



We changed the time but if the sun doesn't shine tomorrow there will be no over the river and through the woods..It is snowing so hard now I can't even see the trees at the fence line! They are closing the mountains soon..


----------



## ashmamma84

IC I am exhausted! Presents are wrapped and under the tree, and on the living room table and everywhere else. 

Now, to tend to Crimmus dinner. It's gonna be a looonnnggg night. But I've got Bailey's to keep me warm. 

Happy Holidays!


----------



## katorade

ashmamma84 said:


> IC I am exhausted! Presents are wrapped and under the tree, and on the living room table and everywhere else.
> 
> Now, to tend to Crimmus dinner. It's gonna be a looonnnggg night. But I've got Bailey's to keep me warm.
> 
> Happy Holidays!












I'M OLD GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGG!


----------



## Saoirse

you like watercolors?


----------



## Saoirse

Im all alone on Christmas eve, because I had to work tonight and my parents went to CT to visit family. They even took the dogs!!!!! But they'llbe back late tonight.

But I HAZ WHISKEY. 





Its not Bushmills, which is my fave, but it has a smooth taste and its going down verrry easy. too easy, one might say...


----------



## mossystate

IC that I could never... ever ... be in a relationship with a man who was obsessed with fat. The thought of it makes my skin crawl. I know my defintion of that ( and obsession plays out in a number of ways ), and I have seen it talked about by too many people. 


I also confess that a HUGE turn on is a man one who applauds equality...and who speaks up when things are not fair...and is more than a little uncomfortable with just ' getting his '.

I confess clear vision is a wonderful thing.


----------



## mossystate

luscious_lulu said:


> I'll send you my mailing address, k?



Tell you what....if I am still roaming the planet this time next year...and you are posting here.....you get a box of cookies.



Punkin1024 said:


> Oh my! Mossy that is an ambitious list! You must be like my Mom, she always baked up a storm during the holidays. We never lacked in goodies at Mom's house. Wish I could fly up to Seattle to lend a hand. Merry Christmas!



OK...I am on my last thing. I decided to fuck...ok, not literally...the lemon cheescake cookies.....just took out my second batch of the fruitcake bread ( holy crap, it is good ), and one more pan of Oh Henry bars, oh, and drizzle the chocolate over the Sunda cookies.................and....poof....I am going to plant my aching body on the couch and eat a salad...all this sweet stuff around me has me feeling a lil icky.

My Mom baked much...much more than moi....up until her later years. I don't know where she found the energy, but I know she found it for us. I thought of her a lot, as I baked. Even washed some pans as I went along...which scared me a little.  

* hobbles off to find advil *

Oh..and, ella?....no way could you help me....lol..nothing personal, but I can't have help in the kitchen...drives me bonkers.........well, ok, you could chop nuts for me...................


----------



## rainyday

mossystate said:


> In the next two days I am making...
> 
> * peanut butter fudge
> * chocolate mint fudge
> * pecan tartlets
> * lemon cheesecake cookies
> * pumpkin bread with orange zest cream cheese filling
> * a fruitcake bread with a variety of dried fruits and pecans
> * Hershey Kiss cookies
> * Oh Henry bars
> * Chocolate Sundae cookies...aka...The Best Cookie Ever ( especially mine )
> * Mexican Wedding cookies
> 
> Two batches of most of these....:blink:



I confess my eyes want to drink this in. Pictures if you take them please! :eat2:


----------



## rainyday

I confess I'm alone tonight and I'm not minding it. My dead loved ones are still dead and not here with me, but this year the holes in my heart don't feel big enough to drive a truck through like they did last year. Tomorrow I won't wake up to anyone beside me but I'm sure I'll get lots of kitty hugs, and it will be enough. And at dinner tomorrow I think I will be able to be glad to be there rather than counting the minutes until I can escape and have the holidays be over.

I don't know why I'm feeling this peace all of a sudden and I'm scared it won't last. It's sure nothing I've done to make it happen. But whatever or Whoever is settling it on me, I am so flipping grateful. It's a precious, precious thing.

Hugs to anyone out there who could use one, and thank yous to those who've given me hands up or just a smile and a laugh when I needed one.


----------



## littlefairywren

firefly said:


> IC - I'm feeling lonely, although there's my parents here for christmas. I wish there would be someone again I could spend the holidays with - just relaxing on the sofa and being cuddled. *sigh*



I can *so* relate to what you are saying firefly.....here is a (((((hug))))) for you


----------



## MisticalMisty

rainyday said:


> I confess I'm alone tonight and I'm not minding it. My dead loved ones are still dead and not here with me, but this year the holes in my heart don't feel big enough to drive a truck through like they did last year. Tomorrow I won't wake up to anyone beside me but I'm sure I'll get lots of kitty hugs, and it will be enough. And at dinner tomorrow I think I will be able to be glad to be there rather than counting the minutes until I can escape and have the holidays be over.
> 
> I don't know why I'm feeling this peace all of a sudden and I'm scared it won't last. It's sure nothing I've done to make it happen. But whatever or Whoever is settling it on me, I am so flipping grateful. It's a precious, precious thing.
> 
> Hugs to anyone out there who could use one, and thank yous to those who've given me hands up or just a smile and a laugh when I needed one.



I hope the peace continues babe. I really do.


----------



## Tracyarts

I confess that today is starting out so nice and sunny that I am giving very serious thought to ditching all the Christmas plans we made and just taking a long drive out of the city to enjoy the nice weather out in the country or up in the woods or down by the beach. 

Tracy


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tracyarts said:


> I confess that today is starting out so nice and sunny that I am giving very serious thought to ditching all the Christmas plans we made and just taking a long drive out of the city to enjoy the nice weather out in the country or up in the woods or down by the beach.
> 
> Tracy



If your Christmas plans don't sound too fun to you and you don't think feelings would majorly be hurt if you canceled, go for it!!!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

IC: I'm feeling totally guilty about buying myself some new clothes even though it was on-sale big time AND I had an additional 25% off coupon off of everything. I NEED the clothes, panties, and sleepwear, but I feel soooooooo guilty about it since finances are so tight.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mossystate said:


> In the next two days I am making...
> 
> * peanut butter fudge
> * chocolate mint fudge
> * pecan tartlets
> * lemon cheesecake cookies
> * pumpkin bread with orange zest cream cheese filling
> * a fruitcake bread with a variety of dried fruits and pecans
> * Hershey Kiss cookies
> * Oh Henry bars
> * Chocolate Sundae cookies...aka...The Best Cookie Ever ( especially mine )
> * Mexican Wedding cookies
> 
> Two batches of most of these....:blink:



Mossy...would you be willing to post recipes for these?


----------



## shugathick4u

Ic:my Bf Doesnt Accept Me Being Big And Is Trying To Put Me On A Diet....makes Me Feel Unwanted And Not Sexy Enough For Him


----------



## mossystate

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Mossy...would you be willing to post recipes for these?



I will do it tomorrow.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mossystate said:


> I will do it tomorrow.



Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :bow: :bow: :bow:


----------



## AuntHen

shugathick4u said:


> Ic:my Bf Doesnt Accept Me Being Big And Is Trying To Put Me On A Diet....makes Me Feel Unwanted And Not Sexy Enough For Him




Were you "big" when you hooked up? For your sake I would seriously consider whether you want to be with someone who does not accept you and think you are hot right now! If he wants skinny, he needed to date skinny to start with. People who love you shouldn't make you feel inadequate! Good luck sweetie


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC that one of my sister's tried to compliment me by saying it looked like I lost weight and it annoyed me. Why do they have to comment on my weight at all?


----------



## shugathick4u

fat9276 said:


> Were you "big" when you hooked up? For your sake I would seriously consider whether you want to be with someone who does not accept you and think you are hot right now! If he wants skinny, he needed to date skinny to start with. People who love you shouldn't make you feel inadequate! Good luck sweetie



yes i was bigger actually when we met then i lost some weight now im still big though he has been gettin more strict about the foods i eat...and its like he has lost intrest in me sexually


----------



## Tracyarts

" If your Christmas plans don't sound too fun to you and you don't think feelings would majorly be hurt if you canceled, go for it!!! "

It was just my husband and I this year, all we'd planned on doing was baking cookies, watching Christmas movies, and cooking a nice holiday supper. All that can be done tomorrow or Sunday. So, we did get out, drove down to Galveston (it was a coin toss between that and over to Louisiana to a casino) and just enjoyed the sights. There were a LOT of people out walking around on and across from the sea wall and taking pictures, especially as the sun was going down because the Gulf was very calm and the light on the water was so pretty. We stopped at a restaurant before we headed home, the ham we were going to bake will keep another day or two. Which truth be told, I am glad we did because I wound up really enjoying the boiled shrimp and crab salad I had more than I'd have enjoyed a ham dinner.

Tracy


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I have had a horrible day...My Christmas sucked this year because of a once in a century snow storm..grrrrrr I missed all of my kids today..I am so use to us being together on Christmas morning opening gifts and it didn't happen this year...Oh well I will get over it..


I hope everyone had a good Christmas and got lots of pressies!


----------



## mszwebs

I'm trying very hard not to get upset.

I've been talking to this guy for about a week, and it was agreed that he was going to call me today, as a present to both of us.

And of course, its 9:35 and he hasn't called. I'm going to go ahead and assume the visit in February is probably out haha.

I've been on the emotional edge for hours...if you add the bottle of wine I drank during and after dinner, and the PMS that is starting with the lack of calling...you have the hysterically manic laugh/cry fest that I had after the seemingly benign comment of my mother asking me to bring her glasses the next time I went into the kitchen.

I keep telling myself not to lose faith, but I pretty much want to just roll over and accept the fact that I'm going to live with my mother and some sort of as of yet undetermined pet for the rest of my life.

I jinx everything when it comes to men and I can't seem to stop.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

rainyday said:


> I confess I'm alone tonight and I'm not minding it. My dead loved ones are still dead and not here with me, but this year the holes in my heart don't feel big enough to drive a truck through like they did last year. Tomorrow I won't wake up to anyone beside me but I'm sure I'll get lots of kitty hugs, and it will be enough. And at dinner tomorrow I think I will be able to be glad to be there rather than counting the minutes until I can escape and have the holidays be over.
> 
> I don't know why I'm feeling this peace all of a sudden and I'm scared it won't last. It's sure nothing I've done to make it happen. But whatever or Whoever is settling it on me, I am so flipping grateful. It's a precious, precious thing.
> 
> Hugs to anyone out there who could use one, and thank yous to those who've given me hands up or just a smile and a laugh when I needed one.



I am so glad for you Rainy..Bless you hon and I hope it keeps going!


----------



## Punkin1024

IC I enjoyed the day. It was just me and hubby. We slept in, watched Christmas cartoons and didn't bake a thing until this evening. I'm trying not to feel bad about it all because his brother and SIL couldn't drive in because the roads between Dallas and here are still icy. However, hubby hasn't felt up to snuff lately and he is the one that is depended on to make the Christmas feast (I'm in charge of salads, appetizer tray and sometimes dessert). Tomorrow, the feast is on. Hopefully, we'll survive without too many frazzeled nerves.

I hope everyone else took time out to enjoy some peace on earth and good will towards everyone!


----------



## AuntHen

shugathick4u said:


> yes i was bigger actually when we met then i lost some weight now im still big though he has been gettin more strict about the foods i eat...and its like he has lost intrest in me sexually




Girl, you are gorgeous and unless YOU want to lose weight to feel better, healthier (add your own reason) about YOU, then please do not let him pressure you. I know it is hard to break away when you have feelings for and/or love someone, but you deserve someone who will ravish you and love you as is or with huge rolls if you gain weight back! I know this from experience. In my opinion he is not worthy of you. I would find someone who can't wait to love on your chub and peppers you with compliments daily about how beautiful you already are (inside and out).:wubu:

Also, you might want to ask him why he chose to date you to start with, knowing you were a BIG girl??!! Was he just thinking you were "an easy girlfriend to get" because you were big, but was secretly hoping to 1) get you to lose weight to be more more attractive 2) keep you around until something "better to him" (aka skinnier) came along? Nix that one in the bud quick. There are men who think FAT chicks will do anything to have a man. Pfffffttt... idiots!


----------



## AuntHen

IC that I am glad that my good ol' "monthly friend" waited until after Christmas to come a-knockin' but ahhhhhgg how I hate cramps :doh: Where's my Ibuprofen??!!


----------



## rainyday

MisticalMisty said:


> I hope the peace continues babe. I really do.





BubbleButtBabe said:


> I am so glad for you Rainy..Bless you hon and I hope it keeps going!



Thanks, ladies.  I hope you guys will get to do a make-up Christmas once it stops being so wintery out.






shugathick4u said:


> Ic:my Bf Doesnt Accept Me Being Big And Is Trying To Put Me On A Diet....makes Me Feel Unwanted And Not Sexy Enough For Him





shugathick4u said:


> yes i was bigger actually when we met then i lost some weight now im still big though he has been gettin more strict about the foods i eat...and its like he has lost intrest in me sexually



Hi Shugathick. I just wanted to tell you that the person deciding what you should eat is you, nobody else. Your body, your choice. I'm not saying that because I believe you don't know it--I'm sure you do--but just because sometimes it needs to be spoken. Sometimes we need the reinforcement of hearing that yes, it's OUR right to control that, whether it's eating less or eating more. Also, if he is controlling your food, chances are there are other ways in your relationship that he's over-controlling as well and that's a road of pain worth being very cautious about. Good luck to you.


----------



## luscious_lulu

shugathick4u said:


> yes i was bigger actually when we met then i lost some weight now im still big though* he has been gettin more strict about the foods i eat...*and its like he has lost intrest in me sexually



You are gorgeous the way you are. The fact that he's controlling the foods you eat is a big red flag. What else is he going to try and control?


----------



## Tau

shugathick4u said:


> yes i was bigger actually when we met then i lost some weight now im still big though he has been gettin more strict about the foods i eat...and its like he has lost intrest in me sexually



Chick, get out now!!! *hugz you*


----------



## Saoirse

fat9276 said:


> IC that I am glad that my good ol' "monthly friend" waited until after Christmas to come a-knockin' but ahhhhhgg how I hate cramps :doh: Where's my Ibuprofen??!!



I got mine on Christmas eve! haha


----------



## Tau

mszwebs said:


> I'm trying very hard not to get upset.
> 
> I've been talking to this guy for about a week, and it was agreed that he was going to call me today, as a present to both of us.
> 
> And of course, its 9:35 and he hasn't called. I'm going to go ahead and assume the visit in February is probably out haha.
> 
> I've been on the emotional edge for hours...if you add the bottle of wine I drank during and after dinner, and the PMS that is starting with the lack of calling...you have the hysterically manic laugh/cry fest that I had after the seemingly benign comment of my mother asking me to bring her glasses the next time I went into the kitchen.
> 
> I keep telling myself not to lose faith, but I pretty much want to just roll over and accept the fact that I'm going to live with my mother and some sort of as of yet undetermined pet for the rest of my life.
> 
> I jinx everything when it comes to men and I can't seem to stop.



This post just made me cry  I'm so, so sorry you're hurting like this. I don't really have anything to offer except to say you are not alone, I'm thinking of you and sending love your way. The right man for you will come, don't give that up. And he'lll call when he says he's going to and show up on time and just be there and adore you like the amazing, loveable and passion worthy woman that you are *Hugz*


----------



## Dmitra

IC that it really pisses me off no end when I see nice lovely women like mszwebs and shugathick4u hurting from mistreatment by idiots posing as men. I'm not usually a violent gal but smacking them from here to Sunday sounds very satisfying at the moment.

You two -- and all of us -- are who we are and should be given love, respect and kindness, not apathy or controlling treatment. I know how hard it is to walk away from the pain/pain giver but you have to to take care of yourself First and then, it's hoped, find a better, truer, love.

Big hugs all around!!


----------



## Tania

mszwebs said:


> I keep telling myself not to lose faith, but I pretty much want to just roll over and accept the fact that I'm going to live with my mother and some sort of as of yet undetermined pet for the rest of my life.
> 
> I jinx everything when it comes to men and I can't seem to stop.



I know I was hella drunk when I said it but I do love you. :*


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> IC that one of my sister's tried to compliment me by saying it looked like I lost weight and it annoyed me. Why do they have to comment on my weight at all?



Oh, because they know what's best for you and hate to see you suffer like people do when they're fat 



shugathick4u said:


> yes i was bigger actually when we met then i lost some weight now im still big though he has been gettin more strict about the foods i eat...and its like he has lost intrest in me sexually



Run, don't walk, away!!! If he's being strict and controlling about what you eat, that's a huge problem. There are probably other things he's controlling you about, but you just don't see it (speaking from experience). Once you're away, you'll realize how controlling and toxic the relationship was. Get out before it's too late and you lose your own identity.

Hugs,
Mizz


----------



## Aust99

IC I am currently being stood up.... man... it sucks balls!!!!


----------



## littlefairywren

Aust99 said:


> IC I am currently being stood up.... man... it sucks balls!!!!



Well he is a bloody peckerhead!!!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Aust99 said:


> IC I am currently being stood up.... man... it sucks balls!!!!



What a jackass!!!!!  He should just grow up, be a man and call and say he can't/doesn't want to because _________. That is just so incredibly rude. I don't know how people that do that live with themselves knowing someone is waiting for you!     

Hugs to you!!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

I was sitting on the floor toiling away cleaning Kumquat's room (cage). Usually Scrab laughs at me while I'm cleaning up after them. I think he knows they have the good end of the deal.  He had been up to no good tossing things for me to pick up, but he had stopped for awhile and I couldn't hear him playing or climbing around........that always makes me suspicious.  I called out "Where are you Scrab?" His reply: "I'm upstairs." He was at the top of his room (cage). We've always lived in single story houses, so I don't know where he picked up "upstairs" and what it meant. Probably from TV. He's a genius; I need to start that college fund........possibly majoring in engineering (with the main focus of deconstruction) or psychology.


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> I was sitting on the floor toiling away cleaning Kumquat's room (cage). Usually Scrab laughs at me while I'm cleaning up after them. I think he knows they have the good end of the deal.  He had been up to no good tossing things for me to pick up, but he had stopped for awhile and I couldn't hear him playing or climbing around........that always makes me suspicious.  I called out "Where are you Scrab?" His reply: "I'm upstairs." He was at the top of his room (cage). We've always lived in single story houses, so I don't know where he picked up "upstairs" and what it meant. Probably from TV. He's a genius; I need to start that college fund........possibly majoring in engineering (with the main focus of deconstruction) or psychology.



That made me laugh, he is such a hoot!


----------



## tinkerbell

fat9276 said:


> Girl, you are gorgeous and unless YOU want to lose weight to feel better, healthier (add your own reason) about YOU, then please do not let him pressure you. I know it is hard to break away when you have feelings for and/or love someone, but you deserve someone who will ravish you and love you as is or with huge rolls if you gain weight back! I know this from experience. In my opinion he is not worthy of you. I would find someone who can't wait to love on your chub and peppers you with compliments daily about how beautiful you already are (inside and out).:wubu:
> 
> Also, you might want to ask him why he chose to date you to start with, knowing you were a BIG girl??!! Was he just thinking you were "an easy girlfriend to get" because you were big, but was secretly hoping to 1) get you to lose weight to be more more attractive 2) keep you around until something "better to him" (aka skinnier) came along? Nix that one in the bud quick. There are men who think FAT chicks will do anything to have a man. Pfffffttt... idiots!




That exactly.

And you're an adult. You can eat what you want, and when you want. You dont need someone commenting on what you're eating.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

mszwebs said:


> I'm trying very hard not to get upset.
> 
> I've been talking to this guy for about a week, and it was agreed that he was going to call me today, as a present to both of us.
> 
> And of course, its 9:35 and he hasn't called. I'm going to go ahead and assume the visit in February is probably out haha.
> 
> I've been on the emotional edge for hours...if you add the bottle of wine I drank during and after dinner, and the PMS that is starting with the lack of calling...you have the hysterically manic laugh/cry fest that I had after the seemingly benign comment of my mother asking me to bring her glasses the next time I went into the kitchen.
> 
> I keep telling myself not to lose faith, but I pretty much want to just roll over and accept the fact that I'm going to live with my mother and some sort of as of yet undetermined pet for the rest of my life.
> 
> I jinx everything when it comes to men and I can't seem to stop.



I hope today is a better day for you. Sounds like he is the one that messed up....not you. *hugs*


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that unlike many, I'm still enjoying the holiday goodies. Could be because I haven't made the fudge or cookies as I'd intended. I'll probably do that next weekend and try to carry the holiday feel on into January. Don't you just hate all the "weight loss" commercials on t.v. Every year, it's the same thing...like people believe that everyone's New Year's resolution includes losing weight. Sigh!


----------



## luscious_lulu

My douche bag ex sent me an email @ my work address wishing me a merry Xmas. After the last time we spoke I'm surprised he even tried. 

It's really pissed me off. Ugh!!!!!!! Stupid bastard!


Sorry, I totally needed to vent.

In case you are wondering I sent him an email back saying "don't contact me again."

I'm trying to decide whether to just set up my email to automatically delete any messages that come from him.


----------



## littlefairywren

luscious_lulu said:


> My douche bag ex sent me an email @ my work address wishing me a merry Xmas. After the last time we spoke I'm surprised he even tried.
> 
> It's really pissed me off. Ugh!!!!!!! Stupid bastard!
> 
> 
> Sorry, I totally needed to vent.
> 
> In case you are wondering I sent him an email back saying "don't contact me again."
> 
> I'm trying to decide whether to just set up my email to automatically delete any messages that come from him.



Sometimes it is really good to vent, to just chuck it out into the universe. Personally, I would do what you are tossing around.....auto delete his messages.

Sorry you are having such a sucky time with him. ((((Hugs))))


----------



## luscious_lulu

littlefairywren said:


> Sometimes it is really good to vent, to just chuck it out into the universe. Personally, I would do what you are tossing around.....auto delete his messages.
> 
> Sorry you are having such a sucky time with him. ((((Hugs))))



Thanks, he's responded & managed to upset me enough that I want to cry.  I've set up my email now, so that any mail Automatically gets deleted and can't be recovered.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> Thanks, he's responded & managed to upset me enough that I want to cry.  I've set up my email now, so that any mail Automatically gets deleted and can't be recovered.



(((Hugs))) I think he's just trying to play mind games with you. I'm glad you set up your email to automatically delete his.


----------



## luscious_lulu

MizzSnakeBite said:


> (((Hugs))) I think he's just trying to play mind games with you. I'm glad you set up your email to automatically delete his.



Thank you! Hugs are most welcome. 

You are right it is just mind games. Sadly he's stressed me outso much I have a migraine now.


----------



## bigbri

Dear Lulu- Why do you insist on giving this human hemorrhoid so much power over you? Take your life back! You are wasting valuable emotions on a "black hole" that gives nothing in return. By all means block the emails, but why open them at all? Free and empower yourself to waste no further emotions on a loser. My apologies to all for replying on the lady's thread.


----------



## Tau

luscious_lulu said:


> Thanks, he's responded & managed to upset me enough that I want to cry.  I've set up my email now, so that any mail Automatically gets deleted and can't be recovered.



*Smishes* Glad you're blocking him - absolute best way to deal with poisonous people like that is to delete and purge them completely


----------



## Tau

I confess to feeling an intense, crushing disappointment in the fat acceptance/plus size community. It's been looming the whole year. I've been reading post after post that left me questioning everything about fat beauty and the purpose and legitimacy of this community. I get that people are people, no matter what group or cause they claim to further or champion, but there are times where the glaring hypocrisy in this community makes me ill - actually physically ill. This is not an oh woe is me here do I depart cruel world post- I'm staying put - but I just needed to vent this incredible sense of empty...loss?? I'm feeling right now


----------



## luscious_lulu

bigbri said:


> Dear Lulu- Why do you insist on giving this human hemorrhoid so much power over you? Take your life back! You are wasting valuable emotions on a "black hole" that gives nothing in return. By all means block the emails, but why open them at all? Free and empower yourself to waste no further emotions on a loser. My apologies to all for replying on the lady's thread.



Honestly, he caught me off guard. I got an email at work, I wasn't expecting him to contact me there. 

I won't be wasting my time on him anymore.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Tau said:


> *Smishes* Glad you're blocking him - absolute best way to deal with poisonous people like that is to delete and purge them completely



Thanks Tau!


----------



## littlefairywren

Tau said:


> I confess to feeling an intense, crushing disappointment in the fat acceptance/plus size community. It's been looming the whole year. I've been reading post after post that left me questioning everything about fat beauty and the purpose and legitimacy of this community. I get that people are people, no matter what group or cause they claim to further or champion, but there are times where the glaring hypocrisy in this community makes me ill - actually physically ill. This is not an oh woe is me here do I depart cruel world post- I'm staying put - but I just needed to vent this incredible sense of empty...loss?? I'm feeling right now



Big ((((hugs)))) lovely girl!!


----------



## luscious_lulu

Tau said:


> I confess to feeling an intense, crushing disappointment in the fat acceptance/plus size community. It's been looming the whole year. I've been reading post after post that left me questioning everything about fat beauty and the purpose and legitimacy of this community. I get that people are people, no matter what group or cause they claim to further or champion, but there are times where the glaring hypocrisy in this community makes me ill - actually physically ill. This is not an oh woe is me here do I depart cruel world post- I'm staying put - but I just needed to vent this incredible sense of empty...loss?? I'm feeling right now



It's still a good cause. Don't loose hope. :kiss2:


----------



## Punkin1024

Tau said:


> I confess to feeling an intense, crushing disappointment in the fat acceptance/plus size community. It's been looming the whole year. I've been reading post after post that left me questioning everything about fat beauty and the purpose and legitimacy of this community. I get that people are people, no matter what group or cause they claim to further or champion, but there are times where the glaring hypocrisy in this community makes me ill - actually physically ill. This is not an oh woe is me here do I depart cruel world post- I'm staying put - but I just needed to vent this incredible sense of empty...loss?? I'm feeling right now



Tau~
We all go through these feelings. I'm glad you are sticking around because I feel this community will give back to you in time. I've left Dimensions for a while, but I always come back because nowhere else in my universe can I find women and men who understand what it is like to be fat in a fat hating world. This place brings me comfort, friendship and a sense of belonging. So, hang there, I know, with time and patience, you'll find what you need in here.
(((((((Tau)))))))


----------



## MisticalMisty

IC I'm tired of people making a big deal out of the following:

1st-Rob and I are choosing to get married at the courthouse. There are more important things than having a huge wedding that we can't pay for and worrying about others on what's supposed to be our day. 

2nd- The fact that we are not having a reception. Again, we are broke and while I want to celebrate this joyous occasion, I don't want to have to spend money on a big party right now. PLUS, with the economy being what it is..and us getting married so close to Christmas, we aren't expecting gifts.

We have gotten one...from a great dimmer and she's been thanked. But seriously, I can't believe the grief I'm catching from friends and others for not doing things the traditional way. I just want to tell them to butt out.

My wedding day will be amazing...it will be amazing whether I'm wearing a $5,000 dress or my red, $17 dress. It will be amazing whether I have a huge reception, or if I cook dinner for my husband and his mother and brother in law here at our house.

Finally, my wedding day will be amazing whether we get married in a church or in front of the judge who has willingly taken our appointment on Thursday. I am marrying the man I love...whole heart and soul.

We could be getting married in rags or the finest garments and the day would be amazing. 

Our love is amazing and THAT'S what matters.


/end rant


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

MisticalMisty said:


> IC I'm tired of people making a big deal out of the following:
> 
> 1st-Rob and I are choosing to get married at the courthouse. There are more important things than having a huge wedding that we can't pay for and worrying about others on what's supposed to be our day.
> 
> 2nd- The fact that we are not having a reception. Again, we are broke and while I want to celebrate this joyous occasion, I don't want to have to spend money on a big party right now. PLUS, with the economy being what it is..and us getting married so close to Christmas, we aren't expecting gifts.
> 
> We have gotten one...from a great dimmer and she's been thanked. But seriously, I can't believe the grief I'm catching from friends and others for not doing things the traditional way. I just want to tell them to butt out.
> 
> My wedding day will be amazing...it will be amazing whether I'm wearing a $5,000 dress or my red, $17 dress. It will be amazing whether I have a huge reception, or if I cook dinner for my husband and his mother and brother in law here at our house.
> 
> Finally, my wedding day will be amazing whether we get married in a church or in front of the judge who has willingly taken our appointment on Thursday. I am marrying the man I love...whole heart and soul.
> 
> We could be getting married in rags or the finest garments and the day would be amazing.
> 
> Our love is amazing and THAT'S what matters.
> 
> 
> /end rant



You can shut them up by saying, "hey, I'd LOVE to have a big wedding and reception......so are YOU going to pay for it?? :kiss2: :kiss2:"


----------



## littlefairywren

MisticalMisty said:


> IC I'm tired of people making a big deal out of the following:
> 
> 1st-Rob and I are choosing to get married at the courthouse. There are more important things than having a huge wedding that we can't pay for and worrying about others on what's supposed to be our day.
> 
> 2nd- The fact that we are not having a reception. Again, we are broke and while I want to celebrate this joyous occasion, I don't want to have to spend money on a big party right now. PLUS, with the economy being what it is..and us getting married so close to Christmas, we aren't expecting gifts.
> 
> We have gotten one...from a great dimmer and she's been thanked. But seriously, I can't believe the grief I'm catching from friends and others for not doing things the traditional way. I just want to tell them to butt out.
> 
> My wedding day will be amazing...it will be amazing whether I'm wearing a $5,000 dress or my red, $17 dress. It will be amazing whether I have a huge reception, or if I cook dinner for my husband and his mother and brother in law here at our house.
> 
> Finally, my wedding day will be amazing whether we get married in a church or in front of the judge who has willingly taken our appointment on Thursday. I am marrying the man I love...whole heart and soul.
> 
> We could be getting married in rags or the finest garments and the day would be amazing.
> 
> Our love is amazing and THAT'S what matters.
> 
> 
> /end rant



It will be amazing Misty, and yes it is about the two of you. And trust me, you will feel like a queen on the day...when he looks into your eyes and you see that love he has for you. 

That is what people should be focusing on, not whether they get to have a party just because you are getting married.

It matters not where you take your vows, nor your dress.

Oh, and I want to see the pics


----------



## goldilocks829

AMEN. Congratulations to you both. 




MisticalMisty said:


> IC I'm tired of people making a big deal out of the following:
> 
> 1st-Rob and I are choosing to get married at the courthouse. There are more important things than having a huge wedding that we can't pay for and worrying about others on what's supposed to be our day.
> 
> 2nd- The fact that we are not having a reception. Again, we are broke and while I want to celebrate this joyous occasion, I don't want to have to spend money on a big party right now. PLUS, with the economy being what it is..and us getting married so close to Christmas, we aren't expecting gifts.
> 
> We have gotten one...from a great dimmer and she's been thanked. But seriously, I can't believe the grief I'm catching from friends and others for not doing things the traditional way. I just want to tell them to butt out.
> 
> My wedding day will be amazing...it will be amazing whether I'm wearing a $5,000 dress or my red, $17 dress. It will be amazing whether I have a huge reception, or if I cook dinner for my husband and his mother and brother in law here at our house.
> 
> Finally, my wedding day will be amazing whether we get married in a church or in front of the judge who has willingly taken our appointment on Thursday. I am marrying the man I love...whole heart and soul.
> 
> We could be getting married in rags or the finest garments and the day would be amazing.
> 
> Our love is amazing and THAT'S what matters.
> 
> 
> /end rant


----------



## OneWickedAngel

MisticalMisty said:


> *Our love is amazing and THAT'S what matters*.



After years of living together, instead of spending money on a wedding we took our funds and used it as a down payment for our house. We threw a "housewarming" a week after we moved in. Only two of our friends (and our sons) knew it was also going to be a wedding. The rest of our friends didn't find out until they got arrived and saw the cake on the dining table. That was over ten years ago and my husband is gone. Someone complained to me a couple of months ago, that I was crazy for not having a big wedding at least for the gifts. My late-husband and I had been living together for years before we got married, seriously what gifts would we have received? Another toaster? All that just to say, no matter what you do someone is going to have a complaint. 

By the time you read this you'll be probably be a married lady, but everything you need for your wedding was beautifully summed up in the words above. Congrats and many, many, many years of happiness to the both of you!


----------



## luscious_lulu

Ultimately what's important is that you get married. Everyone else needs to butt out and let you enjoy your day. Best wishes to you.



MisticalMisty said:


> IC I'm tired of people making a big deal out of the following:
> 
> 1st-Rob and I are choosing to get married at the courthouse. There are more important things than having a huge wedding that we can't pay for and worrying about others on what's supposed to be our day.
> 
> 2nd- The fact that we are not having a reception. Again, we are broke and while I want to celebrate this joyous occasion, I don't want to have to spend money on a big party right now. PLUS, with the economy being what it is..and us getting married so close to Christmas, we aren't expecting gifts.
> 
> We have gotten one...from a great dimmer and she's been thanked. But seriously, I can't believe the grief I'm catching from friends and others for not doing things the traditional way. I just want to tell them to butt out.
> 
> My wedding day will be amazing...it will be amazing whether I'm wearing a $5,000 dress or my red, $17 dress. It will be amazing whether I have a huge reception, or if I cook dinner for my husband and his mother and brother in law here at our house.
> 
> Finally, my wedding day will be amazing whether we get married in a church or in front of the judge who has willingly taken our appointment on Thursday. I am marrying the man I love...whole heart and soul.
> 
> We could be getting married in rags or the finest garments and the day would be amazing.
> 
> Our love is amazing and THAT'S what matters.
> 
> 
> /end rant


----------



## MisticalMisty

Thank you all very much. I appreciate your thoughts and well wishes.

I took today off so we could spend it together. Our last day as single people. We are going to Wal-mart and getting the house clean for my mom and brother tomorrow. We's be exciting.

We are getting married tomorrow at 2. I will definitely try to get some pictures posted. My mom said she is bringing her camera and I'll make my brother man mine.


Thanks again everyone. I appreciate it.


----------



## Tau

MisticalMisty said:


> Thank you all very much. I appreciate your thoughts and well wishes.
> 
> I took today off so we could spend it together. Our last day as single people. We are going to Wal-mart and getting the house clean for my mom and brother tomorrow. We's be exciting.
> 
> We are getting married tomorrow at 2. I will definitely try to get some pictures posted. My mom said she is bringing her camera and I'll make my brother man mine.
> 
> 
> Thanks again everyone. I appreciate it.



Hoping your day is absolutely amazing - its your day, enjoy it!!! 

To all the hugz received from my little rant - thank you ladies - you give me enormous comfort *LOVE*


----------



## LoveBHMS

Tau said:


> Hoping your day is absolutely amazing - its your day, enjoy it!!!
> 
> To all the hugz received from my little rant - thank you ladies - you give me enormous comfort *LOVE*



Add my voice to those that offers you and Rob best wishes for a long and healthy and happy life together and thinks everyone else should BUTT OUT of your private business. 

What you do for your marriage is up to you and nobody else. It's only about you and Rob. End of.


----------



## mossystate

Drives me to the edge of insanity ( and some days, it's a short drive ), when I see men talk about how they are dating women who are not what they prefer in the physical sense, and they TELL the woman they are dating what they find to be attractive. I mean, am I the only one who finds this to be the height of arrogance, and rudeness ? I cannot imagine being with a man and telling him, " gee, I really like your personality, but let me tell you what I really find to be physically attractive ". Just...amazing. Like raised by hamster balls...amazing. * taps mic *


----------



## littlefairywren

mossystate said:


> Drives me to the edge of insanity ( and some days, it's a short drive ), when I see men talk about how they are dating women who are not what they prefer in the physical sense, and they TELL the woman they are dating what they find to be attractive. I mean, am I the only one who finds this to be the height of arrogance, and rudeness ? I cannot imagine being with a man and telling him, " gee, I really like your personality, but let me tell you what I really find to be physically attractive ". Just...amazing. *Like raised by hamster balls*...amazing. * taps mic *



I totally agree with you!
But LMAO......HAMSTER BALLS


----------



## mossystate

littlefairywren said:


> I totally agree with you!
> But LMAO......HAMSTER BALLS



I really cannot keep control of what pops into my brain.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

mossystate said:


> Drives me to the edge of insanity ( and some days, it's a short drive ), when I see men talk about how they are dating women who are not what they prefer in the physical sense, and they TELL the woman they are dating what they find to be attractive. I mean, am I the only one who finds this to be the height of arrogance, and rudeness ? I cannot imagine being with a man and telling him, " gee, I really like your personality, but let me tell you what I really find to be physically attractive ". Just...amazing. Like raised by hamster balls...amazing. * taps mic *



Yep.....kind of like when I laugh at a man when he whips out a small......wallet. They tend to get annoyed with me :doh: :blush:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Congratulations to Misty- I wish you both a lifetime of happiness together


----------



## littlefairywren

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Yep.....kind of like when I laugh at a man when he whips out a small......wallet. They tend to get annoyed with me :doh: :blush:



Dang it!!! This thing wont let me rep you GEF......you said wallet and I couldn't stop giggling. 

hahaha simple things


----------



## MisticalMisty

Thank you Loves and GEF. Today's the big day.


WOOT WOOT


----------



## littlefairywren

MisticalMisty said:


> Thank you Loves and GEF. Today's the big day.
> 
> 
> WOOT WOOT



Misty and Rob, enjoy your big day guys.....have the best time and a wonderful life together


----------



## MisticalMisty

littlefairywren said:


> Misty and Rob, enjoy your big day guys.....have the best time and a wonderful life together



Thank you very much


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Yep.....kind of like when I laugh at a man when he whips out a small......wallet. They tend to get annoyed with me :doh: :blush:





littlefairywren said:


> Dang it!!! This thing wont let me rep you GEF......you said wallet and I couldn't stop giggling.
> 
> hahaha simple things



Damn, I can't Rep her either! Someone nail that damn Fairy for us PLEASE!



MisticalMisty said:


> Thank you Loves and GEF. Today's the big day.
> 
> WOOT WOOT



* Misty, just for you and Rob on your day -- "We've Only Just Begun"*


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

OneWickedAngel said:


> Damn, I can't Rep her either! Someone nail that damn Fairy for us PLEASE!
> 
> Well, I'm more into being nailed by men, BUT I did nail that damn Fairy. I just couldn't help myself. :blush:


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acxnmaVTlZA&feature=related

I would like to thank all of you that have given me the much needed support this year. Words cannot convey how much your kindness and friendship mean to be.

May we all have a better, brighter, and lighter New Year. May our hearts be filled with joy, love, and most importantly, hope.

Much Love,
Mizz




P.S. By "lighter," I mean a lighter heart, not a heavy heart.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Well, I'm more into being nailed by men, BUT I did nail that damn Fairy. I just couldn't help myself. :blush:



It was quite good for me, Babe....so thanks  :bow:

Happy New Year


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> MizzSnakeBite said:
> 
> 
> 
> It was quite good for me, Babe....so thanks  :bow:
> 
> Happy New Year
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I aim to please
Click to expand...


----------



## Sweet Tooth

IC I would be happy with just one date this year. Not a "hey, I'd like to see you sometime if I'm in town" or "maybe we could meet in person" or "let's go out [and then never follow through]".... but one new clothes, hair done, makeup and stomach butterflies, and maybe even a kiss at the end of the night date.


----------



## indy500tchr

Sweet Tooth said:


> IC I would be happy with just one date this year. Not a "hey, I'd like to see you sometime if I'm in town" or "maybe we could meet in person" or "let's go out [and then never follow through]".... but one new clothes, hair done, makeup and stomach butterflies, and maybe even a kiss at the end of the night date.



That would be nice to have. I've never been on one of those dates.



IC...that I have realized that the "friends" in my life consider me an option B friend. They only want to hang out with me if option A falls through or they cancel with me if a better option comes along. No wonder why I've developed this anxiety of asking people to do things with me.


I FUCKING DESERVE BETTER!!!!


----------



## steely

indy500tchr said:


> That would be nice to have. I've never been on one of those dates.
> 
> 
> 
> IC...that I have realized that the "friends" in my life consider me an option B friend. They only want to hang out with me if option A falls through or they cancel with me if a better option comes along. No wonder why I've developed this anxiety of asking people to do things with me.
> 
> 
> I FUCKING DESERVE BETTER!!!!



You do deserve better!


----------



## LoveBHMS

MisticalMisty said:


> Thank you Loves and GEF. Today's the big day.
> 
> 
> WOOT WOOT



I/C that today I realized how much dims has meant to me when I was coming back from a meeting and looked up at the clock on the subway and thought "Oh, Misty and Rob are getting married in an hour!"

Post pics please you two!!!!


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Sweet Tooth said:


> IC I would be happy with just one date this year. Not a "hey, I'd like to see you sometime if I'm in town" or "maybe we could meet in person" or "let's go out [and then never follow through]".... but one new clothes, hair done, makeup and stomach butterflies, and maybe even a kiss at the end of the night date.



*We will not settle for just one, one is never enough!!*



indy500tchr said:


> That would be nice to have. I've never been on one of those dates.
> 
> IC...that I have realized that the "friends" in my life consider me an option B friend. They only want to hang out with me if option A falls through or they cancel with me if a better option comes along. No wonder why I've developed this anxiety of asking people to do things with me.
> 
> 
> I FUCKING DESERVE BETTER!!!!



*Yes! Yes you absolutely do!*


*New mantra! 
THE BEST FOR ME WILL BE MADE IN THIS NEW DECADE!!!*


----------



## MisticalMisty

Thanks Loves 

Here you go:

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1350661#post1350661


----------



## activistfatgirl

Misty, I think it's great you did it your way.

I doubt I'll ever marry (that whole privilege not given to all of us thing), but if I ever did, I'd do it real small. I love what OWA did! I'd probably do a potluck at home and save pennies for a real honeymoon. And that $20 super cute dress!

CONGRATS!


----------



## MisticalMisty

activistfatgirl said:


> Misty, I think it's great you did it your way.
> 
> I doubt I'll ever marry (that whole privilege not given to all of us thing), but if I ever did, I'd do it real small. I love what OWA did! I'd probably do a potluck at home and save pennies for a real honeymoon. And that $20 super cute dress!
> 
> CONGRATS!


Thank you very much  We had a great time..even if it did only last for 5 minutes!


----------



## Pharadox

Haha, I confess that while reading this thread for a long time I thought "IC" stood for "I see" and then it just finally dawned on me what it really stood for. I kept wondering why you were all saying that. 

I also confess that yesterday I was looking at myself naked in the mirror and really liked what I saw. I saw the same thing that I always see, really. It's just my perception that's changing. 

I confess that I'm just waiting for some guy to mock my size so I can laugh it off because it's starting to not matter what they think of me.

I confess that life is good. Really good.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Pharadox said:


> Haha, I confess that while reading this thread for a long time I thought "IC" stood for "I see" and then it just finally dawned on me what it really stood for. I kept wondering why you were all saying that.
> 
> I also confess that yesterday I was looking at myself naked in the mirror and really liked what I saw. I saw the same thing that I always see, really. It's just my perception that's changing.
> 
> I confess that I'm just waiting for some guy to mock my size so I can laugh it off because it's starting to not matter what they think of me.
> 
> I confess that life is good. Really good.



What an awesome attitude to start off this new decade, Pharadox! Welcome to Dims!


----------



## Pharadox

OneWickedAngel said:


> What an awesome attitude to start off this new decade, Pharadox! Welcome to Dims!



Aww, thanks. It's a great way to feel starting off the new decade, too. 

Happy New Year everyone!! Love yourselves.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Yep.....kind of like when I laugh at a man when he whips out a small......wallet. They tend to get annoyed with me :doh: :blush:




So tell me GEF did that wallet shrink while you are laughing?....lol


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Great attitude Pharadox...Took me forever to get there but once I did it was like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Pharadox said:


> Haha, I confess that while reading this thread for a long time I thought "IC" stood for "I see" and then it just finally dawned on me what it really stood for. I kept wondering why you were all saying that.



Lol I did that too.....I did it for about two years or more actually......:blush: :doh:



BubbleButtBabe said:


> So tell me GEF did that wallet shrink while you are laughing?....lol



Actually it just cried.....


----------



## firefly

IC I'm annoyed. Radio, TV, Internet - there seems to be only one topic: dieting because the #1 new-years-resolution seems to be losing weight. I don't want read about other peoples' plans. I know, I have to, I must lose some weight, being a 400+ SSBBW, because I'm not fit, my health,... I hate necessity, peer pressure,...

*sigh*


----------



## Famouslastwords

I confess that if it weren't for eating the bearded clam I'd be a bisexual and here's why:

1) Women smell great. I smelled my hair tonight and I thought man, if other women smell as good as my hair does then that's *sexy*.
2) Boobs are AWESOME. AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME. Words cannot express how AWESOME boobs are. (omg I sound like a guy.)
3) There are actually girls out there who will go shopping with you and enjoy themselves, whereas you'd be hardpressed any guy who'd enjoy himself while you might find one who'd endure it for you.
4) I'm sorry, but it's the truth, girls are better than guys. 

Now who wants to let me touch their boobies?:bow:


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

indy500tchr said:


> That would be nice to have. I've never been on one of those dates.
> 
> 
> 
> IC...that I have realized that the "friends" in my life consider me an option B friend. They only want to hang out with me if option A falls through or they cancel with me if a better option comes along. No wonder why I've developed this anxiety of asking people to do things with me.
> 
> 
> I FUCKING DESERVE BETTER!!!!



Yes you do deserve better....Time to find new friends....I use to have some like that....I would do in a pinch if they couldn't get someone else to go with them..


----------



## olwen

indy500tchr said:


> That would be nice to have. I've never been on one of those dates.
> 
> 
> 
> IC...that I have realized that the "friends" in my life consider me an option B friend. They only want to hang out with me if option A falls through or they cancel with me if a better option comes along. No wonder why I've developed this anxiety of asking people to do things with me.
> 
> 
> I FUCKING DESERVE BETTER!!!!



You do deserve better. New year, time for some new friends. Next time they ask you to do something tell them you're busy or better yet, tell them off.


----------



## olwen

Pharadox said:


> Haha, I confess that while reading this thread for a long time I thought "IC" stood for "I see" and then it just finally dawned on me what it really stood for. I kept wondering why you were all saying that.
> 
> I also confess that yesterday I was looking at myself naked in the mirror and really liked what I saw. I saw the same thing that I always see, really. It's just my perception that's changing.
> 
> I confess that I'm just waiting for some guy to mock my size so I can laugh it off because it's starting to not matter what they think of me.
> 
> I confess that life is good. Really good.



Good on ya Pharadox. Liberating isn't it.


----------



## olwen

IC I'm tired of being disappointed by the men in my life, especially ones who aren't mature enough to actually talk to me when things get difficult or confusing instead of running for the hills. That kind of behavior should have ended with high school. And I should probably pick better men.


----------



## Just_Jen

littlefairywren said:


> IC, that I know it is Christmas and I should be happy....but I feel so lonely. This has not been a good time of year for me for a long time now, and I am tired of it being this way. So tired



*hugs* hope it went better then you felt <3





meep. I confess that today i'm struggling with the being alone part of singleness. I realised how long it's been since i've even been kissed and it's making me wonder if i'm just not kissable anymore.


----------



## Sweet Tooth

indy500tchr said:


> That would be nice to have. I've never been on one of those dates.



I'm so sorry.  I haven't had many of them myself. I think we've lost a lot as a society by losing the art of a good date, and I think men lose out on a great opportunity to impress a woman by either making it a casual [so you know they're not invested in it one bit - with emotions, time, or money - in case it doesn't work] or by not taking the initiative to make that extra step to show someone she's worth the effort.



OneWickedAngel said:


> *We will not settle for just one, one is never enough!!*


Well, I didn't even have one in 2009. I'm trying to up my game. LOL Closest I got was with a man I love to pieces but who I know has clearly moved on, so it was completely platonic and, therefore, missing any end-of-date smooches.


----------



## littlefairywren

Just_Jen said:


> *hugs* hope it went better then you felt <3
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> meep. I confess that today i'm struggling with the being alone part of singleness. I realised how long it's been since i've even been kissed and it's making me wonder if i'm just not kissable anymore.



Thank you sweet girl, and here is a big ((((((hug)))))) for you!
You are kissable, in fact we all are dang it! 

It may not be the same, but there are always plenty of kisses and cuddles from Dims to go around.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

The scene: In the kids' (birds') room feeding them dinner and putting them to bed.

Momma Bird (that's me): "Where did I put your food? <looking around the room> Where did I put it?!?! Oh, there it is! <where it always is>. Momma can be so silly sometimes, can't she? <as I go to get it>"

Scrabbie: "Certainly" <in a deadpan voice>

End scene


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> The scene: In the kids' (birds') room feeding them dinner and putting them to bed.
> 
> Momma Bird (that's me): "Where did I put your food? <looking around the room> Where did I put it?!?! Oh, there it is! <where it always is>. Momma can be so silly sometimes, can't she? <as I go to get it>"
> 
> Scrabbie: "Certainly" <in a deadpan voice>
> 
> End scene



LOL, cheeky little bugger isn't he! I would be so "don't you take that tone with me young man", but he would probably laugh or throw a toy at my head


----------



## Famouslastwords

MizzSnakeBite said:


> The scene: In the kids' (birds') room feeding them dinner and putting them to bed.
> 
> Momma Bird (that's me): "Where did I put your food? <looking around the room> Where did I put it?!?! Oh, there it is! <where it always is>. Momma can be so silly sometimes, can't she? <as I go to get it>"
> 
> Scrabbie: "Certainly" <in a deadpan voice>
> 
> End scene



I'd like to hear more of these tales!


----------



## Pharadox

Famouslastwords said:


> I confess that if it weren't for eating the bearded clam I'd be a bisexual and here's why:
> 
> 1) Women smell great. I smelled my hair tonight and I thought man, if other women smell as good as my hair does then that's *sexy*.
> 2) Boobs are AWESOME. AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME. Words cannot express how AWESOME boobs are. (omg I sound like a guy.)
> 3) There are actually girls out there who will go shopping with you and enjoy themselves, whereas you'd be hardpressed any guy who'd enjoy himself while you might find one who'd endure it for you.
> 4) I'm sorry, but it's the truth, girls are better than guys.
> 
> Now who wants to let me touch their boobies?:bow:



I confess that I would totally let you touch my boobies because

1) Women _do_ smell great.
2) Boobs _are_ awesome.
3) I _would_ go shopping with you.
4) Girls _are_ better than guys. 

But it's really too bad about that bearded clam. I'm a red meat kind of girl.


----------



## Famouslastwords

Pharadox said:


> I confess that I would totally let you touch my boobies because
> 
> 1) Women _do_ smell great.
> 2) Boobs _are_ awesome.
> 3) I _would_ go shopping with you.
> 4) Girls _are_ better than guys.
> 
> But it's really too bad about that bearded clam. I'm a red meat kind of girl.




Well technically sausage is white meat, but I know what you mean. *wink*


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> LOL, cheeky little bugger isn't he! I would be so "don't you take that tone with me young man", but he would probably laugh or throw a toy at my head



Yes, he'd laugh AT you and/or "throw a raspberry" and/or throw toys at you while telling you to "hurry up!" I'm their slave. They know it, I know it, it's a fact of life now. 




Famouslastwords said:


> I'd like to hear more of these tales!



There are always more tales to come!!!!!!

Once my mother said something purposefully stupid to him, and his reply, "Oh Grandmother" in a somewhat condescending/shaming tone.  He always calls her Grandma or Gram, so he decided he needed to talk tough that time. lol

When we had dogs (we had to put both of them to sleep on the same day the summer before last :really sad: ), his favorite to harass was Charlie......poor Charlie....sweet, goofy, adorable,........dumb as a bucket of rocks lol. He'd holler, "CHARLIE!!! COME HERE!" Charlie would come, then Scrab would tell him, "GO AWAY!" Char would go. lol This went on and on.....Charlie would hang his head and be depressed, but he always followed Scrabble's commands lol. If Scrab was feeling especially naughty, he'd throw a toy at Charlie. But there were times he was nice and would throw him some food... It was the saddest thing when I had to tell him they were put to sleep.


----------



## Famouslastwords

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Yes, he'd laugh AT you and/or "throw a raspberry" and/or throw toys at you while telling you to "hurry up!" I'm their slave. They know it, I know it, it's a fact of life now.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> There are always more tales to come!!!!!!
> 
> Once my mother said something purposefully stupid to him, and his reply, "Oh Grandmother" in a somewhat condescending/shaming tone.  He always calls her Grandma or Gram, so he decided he needed to talk tough that time. lol
> 
> When we had dogs (we had to put both of them to sleep on the same day the summer before last :really sad: ), his favorite to harass was Charlie......poor Charlie....sweet, goofy, adorable,........dumb as a bucket of rocks lol. He'd holler, "CHARLIE!!! COME HERE!" Charlie would come, then Scrab would tell him, "GO AWAY!" Char would go. lol This went on and on.....Charlie would hang his head and be depressed, but he always followed Scrabble's commands lol. If Scrab was feeling especially naughty, he'd throw a toy at Charlie. But there were times he was nice and would throw him some food... It was the saddest thing when I had to tell him they were put to sleep.



I'm sorry you both had to go through that. Scrabble is a bit of a punk though isn't he? lol How cute! I want a talking birdie.


----------



## Punkin1024

I was excited when I got my chocolate colored socks in yesterday. Sad... ain't it! :doh: However, I will need those socks soon, supposed to get really, really cold by Thurday!

And...for you bird lovers - pictures of finches at our finch feeders on December 29 (our second snow storm of this winter). Hubby took the photos from our kitchen window. 

View attachment Finches, closeup, December 29, 2009.jpg


View attachment Finches, take 13, December 29, 2009.jpg


View attachment Finches, take 14, closeup, December 29, 2009.jpg


----------



## littlefairywren

Punkin1024 said:


> I was excited when I got my chocolate colored socks in yesterday. Sad... ain't it! :doh: However, I will need those socks soon, supposed to get really, really cold by Thurday!
> 
> And...for you bird lovers - pictures of finches at our finch feeders on December 29 (our second snow storm of this winter). Hubby took the photos from our kitchen window.



LOL, it pays to read before looking at the pics. Ella, I thought I was looking at dead fish hanging upside down for a moment there.
I love the finch feeders, I have never seen them here but that is a fantastic idea. Would be glued to the kitchen window forever, just to watch them.

Oh, and congrats on the socks


----------



## mergirl

Famouslastwords said:


> I confess that if it weren't for eating the bearded clam I'd be a bisexual and here's why:
> 
> 1) Women smell great. I smelled my hair tonight and I thought man, if other women smell as good as my hair does then that's *sexy*.
> 2) Boobs are AWESOME. AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME. Words cannot express how AWESOME boobs are. (omg I sound like a guy.)
> 3) There are actually girls out there who will go shopping with you and enjoy themselves, whereas you'd be hardpressed any guy who'd enjoy himself while you might find one who'd endure it for you.
> 4) I'm sorry, but it's the truth, girls are better than guys.
> 
> Now who wants to let me touch their boobies?:bow:


I know many lesbians/bi women who do not 'tip the velvet'. So welcome to the bi club if you so desire!


----------



## steely

littlefairywren said:


> LOL, it pays to read before looking at the pics. Ella, I thought I was looking at dead fish hanging upside down for a moment there.
> I love the finch feeders, I have never seen them here but that is a fantastic idea. Would be glued to the kitchen window forever, just to watch them.
> 
> Oh, and congrats on the socks



I thought exactly the same thing, LFW  Great minds and all that...
I love the birds, I feed them but mostly the squirrels get it all. I love them, too.

Good on the socks, Ella!


----------



## Crystal

Famouslastwords said:


> I confess that if it weren't for eating the bearded clam I'd be a bisexual and here's why:
> 
> 1) Women smell great. I smelled my hair tonight and I thought man, if other women smell as good as my hair does then that's *sexy*.
> 2) Boobs are AWESOME. AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME. Words cannot express how AWESOME boobs are. (omg I sound like a guy.)
> 3) There are actually girls out there who will go shopping with you and enjoy themselves, whereas you'd be hardpressed any guy who'd enjoy himself while you might find one who'd endure it for you.
> 4) I'm sorry, but it's the truth, girls are better than guys.
> 
> Now who wants to let me touch their boobies?:bow:



Yes, yes, yes, and yes. :happy:


----------



## Punkin1024

Monday was hectic at work! Though, I ate better today and felt better. Tummy ache all gone - imagine that! I even had a red velvet cupcake and no tummy upset. Maybe it wasn't the sweets! I seem to stay confused. Sigh!


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC I don't want to go to my physical today. I know I have to, but I don't want to. *sigh*. 

After today that should be it for doctors appointments for a while though.


----------



## mszwebs

Hahah I confess that I may have accidentally...outed, or put an FA in a rather interesting position yesterday.

So, I get a friend request on facebook...its from a man I don't know, so I generally consider those requests as being from "collectors", because you go to their profile and all their friends are fat chicks and you have a few mutual friends, a lot of time being a more prominent name within the community...the beautiful Velvet for example. And I have 54 of those requests right now. And it doesn't bother me really, because I don't have to accept them... they just sit there.

Anyway, I get this friend request and i don't recognize the name, so I look at the mutual friends: There was a gorgeous Bombshell, the afore mentioned Velvet, an SSBBW singles group and...this chick that I have known since I was about, oh, 4. Who is not fat.

I debate. Clearly I know that he requested me because I'm fat and he thinks I'm cute. And I saw he comment on his page, so he's not going to come to my house and kill me. OK. Accept. At least for now, since he now has the notification that I accepted and if I were to remove him as a friend I'd be a TOTAL bitch.

Fastforward to yesterday morning, where I get a message from this girl who is like.... Hey! How do you know dude?

And I'm like...I don't. He added me yesterday and I figured since you knew him, he wasn't going to come kill me.

So she replies...Oh, that is so weird. I'm going to MESSAGE HIM AND ASK WHY HE FRIENDED YOU AND TELL YOU WHAT HE SAYS.

Um...OK.



Sorry dude haha.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC some days I feel way to old for this site...


----------



## steely

I confess that when I think of size acceptance, lately it seems like a pipe dream. It will never be the reality I want it to be.


----------



## Tracyarts

I confess that I wish I could keep my Christmas lights up year-round. It made me really happy to get towards the end of my street at night and see the glow coming from my house. I also confess that I love being the only person I've seen in my little town with purple Christmas lights (they actually glow a kind of magenta color) strung up along with the clear icicle lights.

Tracy


----------



## comaseason

IC that my SAD blue lightbox might be working, but I don't want to get my hopes up.


----------



## littlefairywren

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC some days I feel way to old for this site...



(((Hugs)))
Oh no you are not! I love that you are here, so don't you go and disappear on us ok. That is an order.....hahahaha


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Famouslastwords said:


> I'm sorry you both had to go through that. Scrabble is a bit of a punk though isn't he? lol How cute! I want a talking birdie.



Thank you.

Yes, he's a punk. I tell him that all the time and to stop acting like a punk. He could care less 



Punkin1024 said:


> I was excited when I got my chocolate colored socks in yesterday. Sad... ain't it! :doh: However, I will need those socks soon, supposed to get really, really cold by Thurday!
> 
> And...for you bird lovers - pictures of finches at our finch feeders on December 29 (our second snow storm of this winter). Hubby took the photos from our kitchen window.



Congrats on the socks lollollol . Wuv the birdies :wubu:. Poor, cold little things.



luscious_lulu said:


> IC I don't want to go to my physical today. I know I have to, but I don't want to. *sigh*.
> 
> After today that should be it for doctors appointments for a while though.



Hope it went well! I'm due for a round of them in a couple weeks .



comaseason said:


> IC that my SAD blue lightbox might be working, but I don't want to get my hopes up.



Oh I hope it really is helping!!! :happy:


----------



## Punkin1024

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC some days I feel way to old for this site...



Right there with you! I can also add, and too married. LOL!  However, I have fun and the best way to stay young is to be around young folk. So, perhaps it ain't all bad.


----------



## luscious_lulu

I feel light, there is no pressure and I'm kinda happy. It's nice, I haven't felt this way for a while.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> I feel light, there is no pressure and I'm kinda happy. It's nice, I haven't felt this way for a while.



Yea!!!!


----------



## littlefairywren

luscious_lulu said:


> I feel light, there is no pressure and I'm kinda happy. It's nice, I haven't felt this way for a while.



Ah, this made me smile....that is such a good feeling!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

littlefairywren said:


> (((Hugs)))
> Oh no you are not! I love that you are here, so don't you go and disappear on us ok. That is an order.....hahahaha




Yes Ma'am! ((((Hugss))


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Punkin1024 said:


> Right there with you! I can also add, and too married. LOL!  However, I have fun and the best way to stay young is to be around young folk. So, perhaps it ain't all bad.



I have heard that expression before..I really feel out of my element at times here..I feel like the interfering Mother or spinster Aunt that has nothing better to do but listen in on the young..<shrugs>


----------



## luscious_lulu

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Yea!!!!





littlefairywren said:


> Ah, this made me smile....that is such a good feeling!



It really is a good feeling.


----------



## mergirl

BubbleButtBabe said:


> I have heard that expression before..I really feel out of my element at times here..I feel like the interfering Mother or spinster Aunt that has nothing better to do but listen in on the young..<shrugs>


I think its sad that people, when they get past a certain age are allowed to feel like that in our society. If i am honest, some of the best, most thoughtful and intelligent advice i have recieved here has been from people who are at least over 40. 
I think we all have different and wonderful things to share and i am so glad of that. I love that you are here and i hope you feel you fit better soon. Though, i'm not all to sure i fit here either. hmm.. maby if we are all a little out of place, those places are where we all fit in together??!! (I'm not sure if i read that on a hallmark card or not.. but i think it is right). xx (((((((missusbubble)))))))))


----------



## Punkin1024

mergirl said:


> Though, i'm not all to sure i fit here either. hmm.. maby if we are all a little out of place, those places are where we all fit in together??!! (I'm not sure if i read that on a hallmark card or not.. but i think it is right). xx (((((((missusbubble)))))))))



I totally agree! I was watching one of my favorite stations (USA) and they had a commercial featuring many of the actors for shows on that network. Each gave a little blurb about their background (including Jeff Goldblum...love that man), and each said they are a "character". All the characters in life make life interesting. There was a website that you could go to sign a petition stating that you are a character too. It is promoting celebrating our differences instead of fearing or hating them. I really liked that.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Punkin1024 said:


> I totally agree! I was watching one of my favorite stations (USA) and they had a commercial featuring many of the actors for shows on that network. Each gave a little blurb about their background (including Jeff Goldblum...love that man), and each said they are a "character". All the characters in life make life interesting. There was a website that you could go to sign a petition stating that you are a character too. It is promoting celebrating our differences instead of fearing or hating them. I really liked that.



Ella, the website is CharactersUnite.com. You can create a "pledge" to celebrate the character you are, or use the default. It's a great concept, kudos to the brainchildren behind it.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

mergirl said:


> I think its sad that people, when they get past a certain age are allowed to feel like that in our society. If i am honest, some of the best, most thoughtful and intelligent advice i have recieved here has been from people who are at least over 40.
> I think we all have different and wonderful things to share and i am so glad of that. I love that you are here and i hope you feel you fit better soon. Though, i'm not all to sure i fit here either. hmm.. maby if we are all a little out of place, those places are where we all fit in together??!! (I'm not sure if i read that on a hallmark card or not.. but i think it is right). xx (((((((missusbubble)))))))))



Thanks ((((mer)))..My day to day life is so different then most people....Hard to explain without making some people mad so I wont try to..


----------



## katherine22

Tau said:


> I confess to feeling an intense, crushing disappointment in the fat acceptance/plus size community. It's been looming the whole year. I've been reading post after post that left me questioning everything about fat beauty and the purpose and legitimacy of this community. I get that people are people, no matter what group or cause they claim to further or champion, but there are times where the glaring hypocrisy in this community makes me ill - actually physically ill. This is not an oh woe is me here do I depart cruel world post- I'm staying put - but I just needed to vent this incredible sense of empty...loss?? I'm feeling right now



Tau, fat beauty if for real no matter how many stupid comments.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC some days I feel way to old for this site...





Punkin1024 said:


> Right there with you! I can also add, and too married. LOL!  However, I have fun and the best way to stay young is to be around young folk. So, perhaps it ain't all bad.





mergirl said:


> I think its sad that people, when they get past a certain age are allowed to feel like that in our society. If i am honest, some of the best, most thoughtful and intelligent advice i have recieved here has been from people who are at least over 40.
> I think we all have different and wonderful things to share and i am so glad of that. I love that you are here and i hope you feel you fit better soon. Though, i'm not all to sure i fit here either. hmm.. maby if we are all a little out of place, those places are where we all fit in together??!! (I'm not sure if i read that on a hallmark card or not.. but i think it is right). xx (((((((missusbubble)))))))))




I often feel like I don't fit either, but that's ok 'cause I'm having "a moment." lol I'm 32 (feel 132) and often feel OLD for the site.......so many teens and kids...uhhh people lol in their 20s. It's seems like a whole different mindset...I guess because it is. I've been there, done that, made those mistakes, and cringe when I see one of the younger members heading for the same mistake(s) I've made. 

The FAs that post mostly seem to be in their 20s and so be bluntly honest, I don't want someone in their 20s.... Sorry.......been there, tried that.....never again. 

So I know what you're talking about. So don't leave, you'll be missed to much . We should have an "old" lady's club  . lol Talk about those "crazy kids." lol

And Mizz Mertastic, my dear, no matter what you may think, you are welcome everywhere. You draw love to you without realizing it  :kiss2: :kiss2:.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tracyarts said:


> I confess that I wish I could keep my Christmas lights up year-round. It made me really happy to get towards the end of my street at night and see the glow coming from my house. I also confess that I love being the only person I've seen in my little town with purple Christmas lights (they actually glow a kind of magenta color) strung up along with the clear icicle lights.
> 
> Tracy



Purple lights! How fun!!!!


----------



## Tania

IC that Michele's song in The Party (the 1968 Peter Sellers movie) makes me cry.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Thanks Mizz.. To me 30 is now kind of a foreign age..Life was so hard during that time and all I did was work,I forgot what fun was for a while!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

IC I'm feeling quite a bit overwhelmed by life right now. Trying to move, gather enough money to move, pack, getting the flu, then generally feeling like shit, then life......sigh.........SCREAM!!!!!!!!

IC I wish my mother would go away for a few day so I could just relax...... Don't see that happening 

I have a migraine. Wonder why.


----------



## Pharadox

IC that I did something today that was really difficult for me to do and now my heart feels like it is breaking.

IC that I'm going to need some time to recover.

IC that I know a year from now I won't feel this way about it but right now it would be nice if I could skip the entire year.

IC that I'm not going to let this break me, no matter how hard I have to work to hold it together for now.


----------



## littlefairywren

Pharadox said:


> IC that I did something today that was really difficult for me to do and now my heart feels like it is breaking.
> 
> IC that I'm going to need some time to recover.
> 
> IC that I know a year from now I won't feel this way about it but right now it would be nice if I could skip the entire year.
> 
> IC that I'm not going to let this break me, no matter how hard I have to work to hold it together for now.



(((HUGS))) to you Pharadox. Just know, that you will always have as much support here as you need.


----------



## Pharadox

littlefairywren said:


> (((HUGS))) to you Pharadox. Just know, that you will always have as much support here as you need.



Thank you LFW... that means a lot to me.


----------



## jdsumm

Pharadox said:


> IC that I did something today that was really difficult for me to do and now my heart feels like it is breaking.
> 
> IC that I'm going to need some time to recover.
> 
> IC that I know a year from now I won't feel this way about it but right now it would be nice if I could skip the entire year.
> 
> IC that I'm not going to let this break me, no matter how hard I have to work to hold it together for now.



(((Pharadox))) So sorry for your heartache. I have no words of wisdom, just wanted to give you more hugs. Glad you are here.


----------



## Pharadox

jdsumm said:


> (((Pharadox))) So sorry for your heartache. I have no words of wisdom, just wanted to give you more hugs. Glad you are here.



Thank you so much. You guys are all so amazing. I'm glad you're here, too.

*hugs to all*


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that when I'm feeling down because I'm fat, I can come to this place and know I'm amongst supportive friends. Thanks to all of you!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Pharadox said:


> IC that I did something today that was really difficult for me to do and now my heart feels like it is breaking.
> 
> IC that I'm going to need some time to recover.
> 
> IC that I know a year from now I won't feel this way about it but right now it would be nice if I could skip the entire year.
> 
> IC that I'm not going to let this break me, no matter how hard I have to work to hold it together for now.



I am so sorry that you are in so much pain..I am glad tho that you can see the light at the end of the tunnel,that helps! (((((((hugss)))))))


----------



## Fluffy51888

IC that I am super happy. I'm finally going to be getting my cuddles that I feel like I've waited forever for! It'll just be for one night, but I can't wait. It's been too long. :-D


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Pharadox said:


> IC that I did something today that was really difficult for me to do and now my heart feels like it is breaking.
> 
> IC that I'm going to need some time to recover.
> 
> IC that I know a year from now I won't feel this way about it but right now it would be nice if I could skip the entire year.
> 
> IC that I'm not going to let this break me, no matter how hard I have to work to hold it together for now.




(((((((Hugs))))))) I wish you the best of luck and I hope things turn out for the better fast.



Punkin1024 said:


> IC that when I'm feeling down because I'm fat, I can come to this place and know I'm amongst supportive friends. Thanks to all of you!



(((((((Hugs Ella))))))) I certainly understand! I hope your down feels flee quickly.


----------



## Crystal

Super hugs to everyone who is hurting in this thread. <3


----------



## Tania

CrystalUT11 said:


> Super hugs to everyone who is hurting in this thread. <3



You are super-sweet, Crystal. :*


----------



## Weeze

I did something good for ME yesterday. No one else really benefits from it, other than me. 
Some of you know I joined an independent competitive indoor drumline. The issue is that after last weekend, I wasn't sure I was going to be able to keep up with everyone. I hadn't played in 2 years. But, when I went to that rehearsal, people kept thanking me for coming out. People said "glad to have you here." 
I've only ever heard that from a former mentor, and people at bashes. So, yesterday I went to rehearsal. I didn't let myself get scared and back out. I went, and I remembered a lot more than I thought I would. I bonded with all the other guys. It felt *so good* to be among like-minded people. Everyone's there for one reason. They want to have fun, and they want to win. No one judged me, or made snarky comments about me. All they did was play with me, and I think that's all I've really wanted for a long time now. I wanted to play with people, and spend time with people that shared interests.


----------



## Tania

That's awesome, Kris. Have a wonderful time with your new drumline friends.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

krismiss said:


> I did something good for ME yesterday. No one else really benefits from it, other than me.
> Some of you know I joined an independent competitive indoor drumline. The issue is that after last weekend, I wasn't sure I was going to be able to keep up with everyone. I hadn't played in 2 years. But, when I went to that rehearsal, people kept thanking me for coming out. People said "glad to have you here."
> I've only ever heard that from a former mentor, and people at bashes. So, yesterday I went to rehearsal. I didn't let myself get scared and back out. I went, and I remembered a lot more than I thought I would. I bonded with all the other guys. It felt *so good* to be among like-minded people. Everyone's there for one reason. They want to have fun, and they want to win. No one judged me, or made snarky comments about me. All they did was play with me, and I think that's all I've really wanted for a long time now. I wanted to play with people, and spend time with people that shared interests.



Yea! Good for you!! :bow:


----------



## littlefairywren

IC that last night, I plucked up the courage and took a photo of myself in the nude. And the sight of it did not have me in a panic, or state of shock. I think I am finally getting there :happy:


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> IC that last night, I plucked up the courage and took a photo of myself in the nude. And the sight of it did not have me in a panic, or state of shock. I think I am finally getting there :happy:



Yea to you!!! CONGRATS, CONGRATS, CONGRATS!!!! :bow:


----------



## OneWickedAngel

littlefairywren said:


> IC that last night, I plucked up the courage and took a photo of myself in the nude. And the sight of it did not have me in a panic, or state of shock. I think I am finally getting there :happy:





MizzSnakeBite said:


> Yea to you!!! CONGRATS, CONGRATS, CONGRATS!!!! :bow:



{{{ LFW }} I DITTO MSB! Wasn't it such a lovely feeling?


----------



## littlefairywren

OneWickedAngel said:


> {{{ LFW }} I DITTO MSB! Wasn't it such a lovely feeling?



Thanks ladies 
The best way for me to describe it OWA....it felt liberating. I have this mental image of myself, but that was not who I saw in the photo. And it made me cry, but happy tears.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> Thanks ladies
> The best way for me to describe it OWA....it felt liberating. I have this mental image of myself, but that was not who I saw in the photo. And it made me cry, but happy tears.



This makes me smile :happy:


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

The scene: Scrabble sitting on his Momma's shoulder in the living room.

_*Scrab*_: "I wanna go to bed."
_*Momma Bird (me)*_: "No, it's too early. You just have to wait a little bit longer."
_*Scrabble*_: poops on me on purpose
_*Momma Bird*_: "Scrabble!"
_*Scrabble*_: "I'm sorry." <leans over for a hug and a kiss, and is upset over his transgression>
_*Momma Bird*_: "It's OK, I love you." <gives The Baby kisses and head rubs til he gobbles>

End of tale


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> The scene: Scrabble sitting on his Momma's shoulder in the living room.
> 
> _*Scrab*_: "I wanna go to bed."
> _*Momma Bird (me)*_: "No, it's too early. You just have to wait a little bit longer."
> _*Scrabble*_: *poops on me on purpose*
> _*Momma Bird*_: "Scrabble!"
> _*Scrabble*_: "I'm sorry." <leans over for a hug and a kiss, and is upset over his transgression>
> _*Momma Bird*_: "It's OK, I love you." <gives The Baby kisses and head rubs til he gobbles>
> 
> End of tale




LOL 
Naughty baby!!


----------



## Punkin1024

IC - It is good to be here today!


----------



## steely

Punkin1024 said:


> IC - It is good to be here today!



It's always good to see you! :happy:


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> LOL
> Naughty baby!!



That he is!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

IC: My migraines are coming back worse and more often.......I think it's because I'm reducing the Lyrica. :really sad: I know all the stress I've been under doesn't help, but after thinking, they REALLY got bad after the dose was lowered.


----------



## luscious_lulu

MizzSnakeBite said:


> IC: My migraines are coming back worse and more often.......I think it's because I'm reducing the Lyrica. :really sad: I know all the stress I've been under doesn't help, but after thinking, they REALLY got bad after the dose was lowered.



Migraines bite the big one. Sorry, they've come back.


----------



## Tam

I like to touch other guys with my belly as if it as something non-planned. Lol.
For example, at school.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

You need to read the rules Tam...This is a female only board..


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> IC: My migraines are coming back worse and more often.......I think it's because I'm reducing the Lyrica. :really sad: I know all the stress I've been under doesn't help, but after thinking, they REALLY got bad after the dose was lowered.



Oh hon, can your Lyrica dosage be altered a wee bit, so you don't have to suffer with migraines? Nothing worse


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> Migraines bite the big one. Sorry, they've come back.



Thanks Pat. They never completely went away, but they're ferocious now.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> Oh hon, can your Lyrica dosage be altered a wee bit, so you don't have to suffer with migraines? Nothing worse



I'm already on a very high dose, and was on an *extremely* high dose (the pharmacist and the drug company talked to my doctor and myself because of the dosage.) I asked to be reduced because it was making me soooooooooooooooo tired and was/am having other side-effects I'm sick of dealing with.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tam said:


> I like to touch other guys with my belly as if it as something non-planned. Lol.
> For example, at school.



This is funny


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

BubbleButtBabe said:


> You need to read the rules Tam...This is a female only board..



 I believe Tam is a BBW........


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> I'm already on a very high dose, and was on an *extremely* high dose (the pharmacist and the drug company talked to my doctor and myself because of the dosage.) I asked to be reduced because it was making me soooooooooooooooo tired and was/am having other side-effects I'm sick of dealing with.



Big (((HUGS))) my sweet. I hate migraines, and I know the stress you are under will only make them worse. Our bodies can SO let us down sometimes!!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> B Our bodies can SO let us down sometimes!!



Isn't that the truth :-/


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

MizzSnakeBite said:


> I believe Tam is a BBW........




Sorry for the way that was worded I thought it was a male!


----------



## Famouslastwords

MizzSnakeBite said:


> The scene: Scrabble sitting on his Momma's shoulder in the living room.
> 
> _*Scrab*_: "I wanna go to bed."
> _*Momma Bird (me)*_: "No, it's too early. You just have to wait a little bit longer."
> _*Scrabble*_: poops on me on purpose
> _*Momma Bird*_: "Scrabble!"
> _*Scrabble*_: "I'm sorry." <leans over for a hug and a kiss, and is upset over his transgression>
> _*Momma Bird*_: "It's OK, I love you." <gives The Baby kisses and head rubs til he gobbles>
> 
> End of tale



Haha my cats never pooped on me. Although one time my cats got worms from getting fleas from their pet sitter (when I went out of town for my birthday) and Piper wiped a worm straight from her butt on my arm.


----------



## maureenc

I confess that I am the one who ate the whole box of oreos...they didn't go missing, I know exactly where they are...


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

IC: This is sooooooo silly to be proud of, but I got my first lime green can!!!!!! I'm so pathetic lol


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I need to learn to really read something instead of just skimming it! 
IC I need to learn to keep my mouth shut and my fingers still....Can put my foot in my mouth real easy!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Okay I have another confession to make...I was paying a bill today and walked outside to get in my car..I have this little habit of either humming or blowing my lips..You know the bbbbbb with your lips..This really nice looking man was walking towards me and watching me..When he got close enough he smiled really wide and said "Well hello there." I first froze then my brain came back finally and I spoke to him...

IC I giggled when he caught me blowing my lips...I felt like a kid getting caught doing that!


----------



## Punkin1024

BubbleButtBabe said:


> Okay I have another confession to make...I was paying a bill today and walked outside to get in my car..I have this little habit of either humming or blowing my lips..You know the bbbbbb with your lips..This really nice looking man was walking towards me and watching me..When he got close enough he smiled really wide and said "Well hello there." I first froze then my brain came back finally and I spoke to him...
> 
> IC I giggled when he caught me blowing my lips...I felt like a kid getting caught doing that!



Hehe!


IC that I really want to visit with my friend tomorrow. Sometimes I think I'm too addicted to Facebook. I've stayed up way past my bedtime everynight playing games. My reasoning...I'm on vacation and I'll do what I like. Sigh! I'm so wacky sometimes.


----------



## katherine22

I want to share this moment of happiness with my sisters on the BBW forum.
Just when I resigned myself to being alone, I have fallen in love, and he loves me back.:wubu:


----------



## Tania

katherine22 said:


> I want to share this moment of happiness with my sisters on the BBW forum.
> Just when I resigned myself to being alone, I have fallen in love, and he loves me back.:wubu:



Haha! That's awesome. WE TOLD YOU SO.


----------



## mossystate

I really hope that the BBW forum does not become a watered down....' woman's forum '.

I smell it coming...the rumblings are already here.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

mossystate said:


> I really hope that the BBW forum does not become a watered down....' woman's forum '.
> 
> I smell it coming...the rumblings are already here.



Ditto.

When this forum was started I thought it was going to be a place for women to discuss things with each other without the fear of having to deal with the "ZOMG that's sooooo hot" type comments. Lately I've seen lots of posts pop up that ask only for women's involvement that don't necessarily need to be for women only.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

krismiss said:


> I did something good for ME yesterday. No one else really benefits from it, other than me.
> Some of you know I joined an independent competitive indoor drumline. The issue is that after last weekend, I wasn't sure I was going to be able to keep up with everyone. I hadn't played in 2 years. But, when I went to that rehearsal, people kept thanking me for coming out. People said "glad to have you here."
> I've only ever heard that from a former mentor, and people at bashes. So, yesterday I went to rehearsal. I didn't let myself get scared and back out. I went, and I remembered a lot more than I thought I would. I bonded with all the other guys. It felt *so good* to be among like-minded people. Everyone's there for one reason. They want to have fun, and they want to win. No one judged me, or made snarky comments about me. All they did was play with me, and I think that's all I've really wanted for a long time now. I wanted to play with people, and spend time with people that shared interests.



I tried to rep you for this post but apparently I must spread it around so I will say it here. Good for you, good for you for getting out there and living life and not letting fear stand in your way. I hope that you enjoy this time and experience and make lots and lots of friends!


----------



## mossystate

fatgirlflyin said:


> Ditto.
> 
> When this forum was started I thought it was going to be a place for women to discuss things with each other without the fear of having to deal with the "ZOMG that's sooooo hot" type comments. Lately I've seen lots of posts pop up that ask only for women's involvement that don't necessarily need to be for women only.



I thought it was going to be for fat women. Some of the threads asking for anybody to respond, or for all women...yeah, those things, imo, belong elsewhere, especially if it has nothing to do with fat women, as a group. The ' ladies room ' vibe is going to have this forum become...useless.


----------



## littlefairywren

katherine22 said:


> I want to share this moment of happiness with my sisters on the BBW forum.
> Just when I resigned myself to being alone, I have fallen in love, and he loves me back.:wubu:



That is so lovely Katherine...makes me smile


----------



## OneWickedAngel

katherine22 said:


> I want to share this moment of happiness with my sisters on the BBW forum.
> Just when I resigned myself to being alone, I have fallen in love, and he loves me back.:wubu:



Yay! So happy for you, Katherine!


----------



## Famouslastwords

mossystate said:


> I thought it was going to be for fat women. Some of the threads asking for anybody to respond, or for all women...yeah, those things, imo, belong elsewhere, especially if it has nothing to do with fat women, as a group. The ' ladies room ' vibe is going to have this forum become...useless.



I just think some of the things that we'd like to discuss as fat women, we don't exactly want the world to see. For obvious reasons.


----------



## Tania

IC that lately, I've had a simple yet insistent craving for time with Doodlebob. Though I'm still a little annoyed with him for drifting away like the little wuss he is, I've accepted the likelihood that I'll never see him again. I know he's not into me anymore. I get that we're wrong for eachother. Overnight, he sometimes leaves me these obnoxious little driveby kissyfaces via my open, idle chat programs that make me irate when I find them, and worse, when I finally get to responding, if I bother, he's conveniently never around. But despite all that - and maybe even because of it, kinda - this weird, wistful affection still lingers. 

I just...miss being physically close to the little shit. And that's hard for me to accept, let alone understand.


----------



## Weeze

fatgirlflyin said:


> I tried to rep you for this post but apparently I must spread it around so I will say it here. Good for you, good for you for getting out there and living life and not letting fear stand in your way. I hope that you enjoy this time and experience and make lots and lots of friends!



Thanks E  
I have, and have had for a while now, issues with being in public places. So this takes a lot for me to do... but I think I'm gonna stick it out.


----------



## mossystate

BBW Forum - For BBW and the discussion of BBW issues.

I knew I was not imagining anything.

----

I confess that my breathing is changing a bit and it is a reminder of more than one thing. Not good.


----------



## Weeze

mossystate said:


> BBW Forum - For BBW and the discussion of BBW issues.
> 
> I knew I was not imagining anything.
> 
> ----
> 
> I confess that my breathing is changing a bit and it is a reminder of more than one thing. Not good.





If you have an issue... Start something?


----------



## Saoirse

krismiss said:


> I did something good for ME yesterday. No one else really benefits from it, other than me.
> Some of you know I joined an independent competitive indoor drumline. The issue is that after last weekend, I wasn't sure I was going to be able to keep up with everyone. I hadn't played in 2 years. But, when I went to that rehearsal, people kept thanking me for coming out. People said "glad to have you here."
> I've only ever heard that from a former mentor, and people at bashes. So, yesterday I went to rehearsal. I didn't let myself get scared and back out. I went, and I remembered a lot more than I thought I would. I bonded with all the other guys. It felt *so good* to be among like-minded people. Everyone's there for one reason. They want to have fun, and they want to win. No one judged me, or made snarky comments about me. All they did was play with me, and I think that's all I've really wanted for a long time now. I wanted to play with people, and spend time with people that shared interests.



I am so jealous!!! I played snare and tenor with a local bagpipe band for 6ish years and had some of the best times of my life! We only competed a few times, but it was hella fun.

But due to stupid band politics and some nasty pipers, I left the band. I don't miss the people... but I sure as shit miss the drumming! *sigh*


----------



## Weeze

Saoirse said:


> I don't miss the people... but I sure as shit miss the drumming! *sigh*



Yeah, that was my thing in high school. Kids made fun of me for... a lot of reasons... and so once i was done my time, I didn't want anything to do with it for a while. Then I realized how much i was missing, and found a way to remedy all that


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

katherine22 said:


> I want to share this moment of happiness with my sisters on the BBW forum.
> Just when I resigned myself to being alone, I have fallen in love, and he loves me back.:wubu:



Congrats Katherine! I'm so happy for you!:happy:



Tania said:


> I
> 
> I just...miss being physically close to the little shit.



Oh K! This just cracks me up! I do understand though.


----------



## Tania

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Oh K! This just cracks me up! I do understand though.



Life has a way of becoming funny and sad all at once, don't it?


----------



## calauria

ic that i feel a lot better than i have been all week. a lil less depressed and mostly it is because i have been reading a lot of encouraging posts made from u ladies and the men on this forum.


----------



## katherine22

Thanks, Tania, One Wicked Angel and little fairy wren for your well wishes. I love this forum.


----------



## rainyday

katherine22 said:


> I want to share this moment of happiness with my sisters on the BBW forum.
> Just when I resigned myself to being alone, I have fallen in love, and he loves me back.:wubu:



That is beautiful. Enjoy drinking each other in.


----------



## archivaltype

katherine22 said:


> I want to share this moment of happiness with my sisters on the BBW forum.
> Just when I resigned myself to being alone, I have fallen in love, and he loves me back.:wubu:



 Yay! I'm so happy for you! 

IC that I can't sleep! Bah! Too much excitement, nervousness, and general brain garbage clogging my sleep pipes.


----------



## mergirl

Famouslastwords said:


> Haha my cats never pooped on me. Although one time my cats got worms from getting fleas from their pet sitter (when I went out of town for my birthday) and Piper wiped a worm straight from her butt on my arm.


Oh gah! This reminded me of when i was 19 and dating a woman with 2 cats (and sensible shoes) and one of her cats 'wormed' on me!!! It actually wriggled and quickly died...the romance was almost taken right out of that evening. After that experience, i used to take worming tablets with me on dates!  
No seriously.."worming tablets-A women in sensible shoes best friend-Don't leave home without them"!! The ad in my head said.


----------



## Tania

IC I'm in shock.

One of four things has just happened:

1. The Universe is kind and has taken pity on me.
2. The Universe is perverse and is trying to fuck with my head.
3. Doodlebob really *is* an FA of a sort and spies on my Dims posts.
4. All or some of the above.

Because.

Tonight, out of nowhere, he just jumped on me with alll sorts of semi-heavy shit. "I think of you often" and "We're pretty good together" and "You are amazing" and "you're so beautiful" and "your face makes me melt" and some other stuff I won't post here because it's really fucking sexual and I'm a prude. 

I *told* you guys he was a little shit. But not a smarmy one, even though that's probably the first conclusion a reasonable person would come to upon reading my annoying tale of woe. 

Which brings me to my second confession. I'm seeing him tomorrow night. 

Whatever. Life's short, right? Fuck hard, fuck often. Doodlebob forever! Or at least for a little while.


----------



## littlefairywren

Tania said:


> IC I'm in shock.
> 
> One of four things has just happened:
> 
> 1. The Universe is kind and has taken pity on me.
> 2. The Universe is perverse and is trying to fuck with my head.
> 3. Doodlebob really *is* an FA of a sort and spies on my Dims posts.
> 4. All or some of the above.
> 
> Because.
> 
> Tonight, out of nowhere, he just jumped on me with alll sorts of semi-heavy shit. "I think of you often" and "We're pretty good together" and "You are amazing" and "you're so beautiful" and "your face makes me melt" and some other stuff I won't post here because it's really fucking sexual and I'm a prude.
> 
> I *told* you guys he was a little shit. But not a smarmy one, even though that's probably the first conclusion a reasonable person would come to upon reading my annoying tale of woe.
> 
> Which brings me to my second confession. I'm seeing him tomorrow night.
> 
> Whatever. Life's short, right? Fuck hard, fuck often. Doodlebob forever! Or at least for a little while.



Enjoy Doodlebob, but look after your heart! (((hugs)))


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> Enjoy Doodlebob, but look after your heart! (((hugs)))



Ditto 
Hugs,
Mizz


----------



## steely

calauria said:


> ic that i feel a lot better than i have been all week. a lil less depressed and mostly it is because i have been reading a lot of encouraging posts made from u ladies and the men on this forum.



It makes me so happy to read this, keep reading. :happy:


----------



## steely

IC I was really looking forward to going back to work.


----------



## Tam

i Confess that all my clothes arent fitting any more:S
specially my pants, and its really expensive to buy all again.


----------



## steely

Tam said:


> i Confess that all my clothes arent fitting any more:S
> specially my pants, and its really expensive to buy all again.



I feel you, I have that same problem. I refuse to buy more clothes when I know the transition clothing is just a waste of money. It's nice to be in a different size though, so I am torn. :doh:


----------



## Eshadowgirl

*Confesssion?*
*Im having one of those days where I'm tired, and want to sleep, but cant. I worked today, and gotta work my 2nd job tonight.*

*Just having a blah day...I just keep wondering if im going to be single the rest of my life..this being alone, sucks. :blush: I wanna snuggle with someone.*


----------



## Tania

He flaked. Huge surprise. So now I'm not only depressed, I'm sexually frustrated. 

I hate him.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tania said:


> He flaked. Huge surprise. So now I'm not only depressed, I'm sexually frustrated.
> 
> I hate him.



Oh hun.... Stay away from him....you're too good, smart, wonderful, and beautiful for him. Find someone that is worthy of spending time with you.
Hugs,
Devi


----------



## Aust99

Tania said:


> He flaked. Huge surprise. So now I'm not only depressed, I'm sexually frustrated.
> 
> I hate him.



Oh Tania.... that sucks balls..... ((hugs)) I have been in a similar situation... not a month ago... All I can say is keep smiling and the hurt will go away with time.... and the other thing... well.. you know


----------



## littlefairywren

Tania said:


> He flaked. Huge surprise. So now I'm not only depressed, I'm sexually frustrated.
> 
> I hate him.



(((Hugs))) to you girlie. You deserve way better than that.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Tania said:


> He flaked. Huge surprise. So now I'm not only depressed, I'm sexually frustrated.
> 
> I hate him.



I agree with MSB. You deserve better.


----------



## Miss Vickie

I'm sorry, Tania.  Men sometimes suck, don't they? I hope next time is more... uhm... fruitful for you.

My confession? I started back to school this week, and I think I must be insane.


----------



## Tania

Good for you, Vickie. What are you studying?

IC that I now suspect dude was clowning me the whole time. *waves to the stalkers*


----------



## Miss Vickie

Tania said:


> Good for you, Vickie. What are you studying?



I'm starting my coursework to become a Family Nurse Practitioner, while working full time and running a business. Cuckoo! 



> IC that I now suspect dude was clowning me the whole time. *waves to the stalkers*



Bad dude.  *waves middle finger to the stalkers and to bad dude for disappointing Tania*


----------



## Pharadox

Tania said:


> IC that I now suspect dude was clowning me the whole time. *waves to the stalkers*



I'm so sorry. I don't know how anyone could disregard feelings like that and just play with someone.  It blows me mind.

I confess that last night it occurred to me that I honestly don't care if I lose weight. In the past, when I've worked out, there's been this lingering, oppressing thought hanging over the experience to pretty much work myself until I could no longer even move because it was about the pounds coming off. But now I can work out just for the sake of enjoying a good work out without some kind of ulterior motive behind it. If I lose weight? Okay. If I don't? Okay. If I gain weight? Okay. I feel beautiful at any weight. It's really just about being healthy now.


----------



## mpls_girl26

Miss Vickie said:


> I'm starting my coursework to become a Family Nurse Practitioner, while working full time and running a business. Cuckoo!



That's great! I have had 2 different Nurse Practitioners and I absolutely LOVED them. Sadly my latest one left to go to a different clinic and I now need to decide if I switch clinics and drive the extra 20 minutes to go see her. Good luck with your studies!


----------



## olwen

Miss Vickie, that's great. I know you'll make a great doctor. Good luck with school.

Pharadox, that's cool too. Exercise shouldn't be torture. It's nice to be doing some sort of movement that you can enjoy and feel energized afterwards instead of like someone ran you over with a Mac truck.


----------



## kayrae

I am so so so very happy for you :happy:



katherine22 said:


> I want to share this moment of happiness with my sisters on the BBW forum.
> Just when I resigned myself to being alone, I have fallen in love, and he loves me back.:wubu:


----------



## steely

katherine22 said:


> I want to share this moment of happiness with my sisters on the BBW forum.
> Just when I resigned myself to being alone, I have fallen in love, and he loves me back.:wubu:



I missed this post entirely. OMG! I am incredibly excited for you! 
So happy :happy:


----------



## Pharadox

katherine22 said:


> I want to share this moment of happiness with my sisters on the BBW forum.
> Just when I resigned myself to being alone, I have fallen in love, and he loves me back.:wubu:



Congratulations.  Yeah, it always seems to pop up when you least expect it, hehe. I'm happy for you.


----------



## archivaltype

IC that even though a mountain of work is staring me in the face, I'm totally stoked to bust it out. 
IC #2: I'm super excited about and absolutely terrified of my interview on Thursday. FINGERS CROSSED!!


----------



## Pharadox

archivaltype said:


> IC that even though a mountain of work is staring me in the face, I'm totally stoked to bust it out.
> IC #2: I'm super excited about and absolutely terrified of my interview on Thursday. FINGERS CROSSED!!



Good luck with your interview.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

archivaltype said:


> IC that even though a mountain of work is staring me in the face, I'm totally stoked to bust it out.
> IC #2: I'm super excited about and absolutely terrified of my interview on Thursday. FINGERS CROSSED!!



Good luck!!!!!!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

IC I'm freaking out. B i g t i m e . We'll be moving the first of March. I've been in *extreme* pain.......extreme. My right arm feels like it's being crushed. My left one is on fire. My back.....o m g........I have severe arthritis in my lumbar region, and every time I move I feel cracking and grating, AND my sciatica on the left side is horrendous. Nerve pain shooting down my left leg..... Of course, my pain doctor said she won't do anything than my two prescriptions until I lose weight. They aren't cutting it. I need the injections. 

Somehow the entire house needs to be packed (and it's a major disaster area since I've been in too much pain to keep things neat and organized. That of course will make packing all the much harder.), the large shed needs to be cleaned out and packed (it will be moved by barn builders/movers to some friends' property in the town we're moving too). Then I have to pack my shed/workshop to be moved too. 

Money.....don't get me started. I don't know how she plans on being ready to come up with all that money in such a short amount of time. She's borrowed all I have, so I have no backup. I'm having panic attacks, constant anxiety, I'll just start crying..... I'm losing it. 

Whine, whine. 

Sorry so long.


----------



## Tania

Oh my gosh! ARGH.


----------



## Mystic Rain

I confess that I am destined to be alone for all of my life. That I'll never have children, and I love kids, nor will I know the kind of love that comes only with your chosen. 

I can't find anyone real. It's always jerks that after talking to me _one_ time won't talk to me ever again (and they never freaking tell me why! I'm beginning to believe there's something truly wrong with me when it keeps happening time and time again...) or cling to me like some kind of vine because they are socially inept or are mentally unstable.

And I'm not looking for anyone perfect because there is no one "perfect". Is it so picky of me though that all I want is someone kind, decent, loyal, trustworthy and honorable? I don't think that's asking too much, but maybe it is.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tania said:


> Oh my gosh! ARGH.



I know 



Mystic Rain said:


> And I'm not looking for anyone perfect because there is no one "perfect". Is it so picky of me though that all I want is someone kind, decent, loyal, trustworthy and honorable? I don't think that's asking too much, but maybe it is.



I really understand Mystic Rain............it's a very sad, lonely and "I must be f-ed up" feeling.


----------



## olwen

Mystic Rain said:


> I confess that I am destined to be alone for all of my life. That I'll never have children, and I love kids, nor will I know the kind of love that comes only with your chosen.
> 
> I can't find anyone real. It's always jerks that after talking to me _one_ time won't talk to me ever again (and they never freaking tell me why! I'm beginning to believe there's something truly wrong with me when it keeps happening time and time again...) or cling to me like some kind of vine because they are socially inept or are mentally unstable.
> 
> And I'm not looking for anyone perfect because there is no one "perfect". Is it so picky of me though that all I want is someone kind, decent, loyal, trustworthy and honorable? I don't think that's asking too much, but maybe it is.



Hang in there. It's tough, but well, you're not the only one. I often wonder why I keep meeting guys who either want to have sex with me or want to be friends with me, but not both at the same time!!! What's a gal gotta do to find a decent guy these days?


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> IC I'm freaking out. B i g t i m e . We'll be moving the first of March. I've been in *extreme* pain.......extreme. My right arm feels like it's being crushed. My left one is on fire. My back.....o m g........I have severe arthritis in my lumbar region, and every time I move I feel cracking and grating, AND my sciatica on the left side is horrendous. Nerve pain shooting down my left leg..... Of course, my pain doctor said she won't do anything than my two prescriptions until I lose weight. They aren't cutting it. I need the injections.
> 
> Somehow the entire house needs to be packed (and it's a major disaster area since I've been in too much pain to keep things neat and organized. That of course will make packing all the much harder.), the large shed needs to be cleaned out and packed (it will be moved by barn builders/movers to some friends' property in the town we're moving too). Then I have to pack my shed/workshop to be moved too.
> 
> Money.....don't get me started. I don't know how she plans on being ready to come up with all that money in such a short amount of time. She's borrowed all I have, so I have no backup. I'm having panic attacks, constant anxiety, I'll just start crying..... I'm losing it.
> 
> Whine, whine.
> 
> Sorry so long.



My sweet girl, I wish I could help you. Hang in there, and just take it a day at a time....and keep that spray can handy. Remember....death by meringue


----------



## littlefairywren

archivaltype said:


> IC that even though a mountain of work is staring me in the face, I'm totally stoked to bust it out.
> IC #2: I'm super excited about and absolutely terrified of my interview on Thursday. FINGERS CROSSED!!



Best of luck for that interview archival, let us know how it goes


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> ....and keep that spray can handy. Remember....death by meringue



lmao


----------



## Pharadox

Mystic Rain said:


> I confess that I am destined to be alone for all of my life. That I'll never have children, and I love kids, nor will I know the kind of love that comes only with your chosen.
> 
> I can't find anyone real. It's always jerks that after talking to me _one_ time won't talk to me ever again (and they never freaking tell me why! I'm beginning to believe there's something truly wrong with me when it keeps happening time and time again...) or cling to me like some kind of vine because they are socially inept or are mentally unstable.
> 
> And I'm not looking for anyone perfect because there is no one "perfect". Is it so picky of me though that all I want is someone kind, decent, loyal, trustworthy and honorable? I don't think that's asking too much, but maybe it is.



Darling, you're only, what, 26-ish? There's lots of time for the right one to come along. If nothing else, be glad you haven't settled for the wrong one in your hurry to find the right one. Take your time and wait for him, because he'll be worth it.

And hey, sometimes the right one doesn't come around for some people (and it doesn't mean anything is wrong with you... it's just the circumstances). I've seriously considered adoption, in that case (and I've actually talked to people who say it is very possible for a single person to adopt).

I confess that I do not want to wake up this morning. I love my bed. I love my bedroom. I love the ambiance. I just want to stay here for about another five hours, then take a bath, and ease into the day, rather than thrusting myself into it so very early like this. But what can I say? I asked for the early mornings when I decided to become a teacher. I need to make some friends in very, very high places and have a talk with them about this whole early morning to school thing.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

MizzSnakeBite said:


> IC I'm freaking out. B i g t i m e .
> ...snip...
> 
> I'm having panic attacks, constant anxiety, I'll just start crying..... I'm losing it.
> 
> Whine, whine.
> 
> Sorry so long.


*{{{{{{{{{{ MSB }}}}}}}}}}*

Wow. No need to apologize at all. You absolutely needed to get that off your chest. I'm just glad you have someplace to do so. 
I can only offer words,which are of no major help, but they may perhaps help with the coping until things get a little better (when things settle after the move). 

You feel like you're losing and are about to cry? DO IT. Go cry. Find an understanding friend, go in the shower, wait until no one is home, go where ever you'll feel comfortable to do so honey and just BAWL. Will it solve anything? No, but you may be surprised at just how much better you'll feel once you've got it, at least enough of, if not all out of your system.

And then go get that magical spray can again.


----------



## mergirl

MizzSnakeBite said:


> IC I'm freaking out. B i g t i m e . We'll be moving the first of March. I've been in *extreme* pain.......extreme. My right arm feels like it's being crushed. My left one is on fire. My back.....o m g........I have severe arthritis in my lumbar region, and every time I move I feel cracking and grating, AND my sciatica on the left side is horrendous. Nerve pain shooting down my left leg..... Of course, my pain doctor said she won't do anything than my two prescriptions until I lose weight. They aren't cutting it. I need the injections.
> 
> Somehow the entire house needs to be packed (and it's a major disaster area since I've been in too much pain to keep things neat and organized. That of course will make packing all the much harder.), the large shed needs to be cleaned out and packed (it will be moved by barn builders/movers to some friends' property in the town we're moving too). Then I have to pack my shed/workshop to be moved too.
> 
> Money.....don't get me started. I don't know how she plans on being ready to come up with all that money in such a short amount of time. She's borrowed all I have, so I have no backup. I'm having panic attacks, constant anxiety, I'll just start crying..... I'm losing it.
> 
> Whine, whine.
> 
> Sorry so long.


You have so much on your mind its no wonder you are freaking out. I don't think humans are built for all the modern day major stresses that happen to us (generally all at the same freaking time as well!) and we respond in the totally normal way of flipping out! 
Moving house is one of the most stressful things we can do, there are so many worries, small and large and stuff to do and these are compounded by a sense of insecurity cause you are leaving your home for the unknown. I am with OWA here and think that getting it all out is always for the best. Write here and tell us all the things big and small that are freaking you out. Take things one thing at a time. Write a list of the things that need done and try to take a deep breath and do them one thing at a time...breathing all the while in between. Try not to feel rushed. You can only go as fast as you can, so there is no point in worrying about it. Maby you can get some help, if the moving bit gets too much?
I think too that when you have a massive project on (like moving house) which is stresful anyway, being in pain is going to make you feel a whole lot more anxious about it. You know what.. i could fucking kill doctors .. *If the FBI are watching.. i don't really mean it*!!!!!!!!!! I could go on a rant for EVER...suffice to say..it would be amazing if you could change doctors to someone who would send you to a consultant/physio and not assume that the reason any fat people have any pain/illness (mental or physical), rob banks, flip out, buy a cat is because they are freekin fat! This must be so frustrating i can't even imagine. Though, if you can somehow 'manage' your pain right now as best you can and perhaps try to find some help with the heavy lifting side of moving.. hopefully when you move you can look into moving doctors too. *I know very little of American health care, though what i have heard has really shocked me*
The money situation must be mega stressful too, but i'm not really sure whats going on there, so hopefully you will be able to try to work something out.
I can totally understand why you are freaking. I think you are having a totally normal reaction to a lot of very very stressful things going on in your life right now missus. Moving, health and pain and money worries...thats a lot of worrying to be doing all at one time. If you try to break everything down into smaller pieces this could help, also come here when you are freaking out about the particulars and i'm sure there will be help on hand or at least a friendly ear. Obviously the pain will be there.. but perhaps the moving bit can be broken down so that it is less overwhelming. 
You take care. Breath and think about how nice and relaxing it will be to be staying in your new place. Visualise it and remember why you are moving. Think about all the nice things that come with a new place and about making the place your own. Perhaps, when you move and are settled the other things will fall into place for you, or at least you will be able to tackle them on solid ground.
you can always pm me too. 
Love and light and virtual tissue handing. xx


----------



## Tracyarts

I confess: That I *still* have my Christmas decorations up in my living room and decided to leave them up until the end of January. And last night, I took a drive and saw that a few people in my town still have outdoor lights on too. Next year I am leaving mine up at least until the second week of January, maybe even all month long!

Tracy


----------



## mergirl

Tracyarts said:


> I confess: That I *still* have my Christmas decorations up in my living room and decided to leave them up until the end of January. And last night, I took a drive and saw that a few people in my town still have outdoor lights on too. Next year I am leaving mine up at least until the second week of January, maybe even all month long!
> 
> Tracy


See.. i wish i still had my tree up.. i miss it. I wish i could have a tree in my house all year round. mmm..well i guess there are always big plants! Well done you, for not bowing down to pressure, religion and whatnot and keeping up your decorations as long as you want!!


----------



## Miss Vickie

Tracyarts said:


> I confess: That I *still* have my Christmas decorations up in my living room and decided to leave them up until the end of January. And last night, I took a drive and saw that a few people in my town still have outdoor lights on too. Next year I am leaving mine up at least until the second week of January, maybe even all month long!
> 
> Tracy



Tracy, I'm always so late getting mine up that it seems a shame to take them down! I plan on leaving my lights up until it gets lighter out. We have 16 hours of darkness (or more -- I try not to pay attention) so they still add a little bit of cheer to what is usually a very dark time in these parts.

My confession? I took my GRE's yesterday and I didn't totally embarrass myself. However, studying for the GRE's has put me behind (already!) in school. Ugh. I'm not sure I can do this.


----------



## mergirl

Miss Vickie said:


> Tracy, I'm always so late getting mine up that it seems a shame to take them down! I plan on leaving my lights up until it gets lighter out. We have 16 hours of darkness (or more -- I try not to pay attention) so they still add a little bit of cheer to what is usually a very dark time in these parts.
> 
> My confession? I took my GRE's yesterday and I didn't totally embarrass myself. However, studying for the GRE's has put me behind (already!) in school. Ugh. I'm not sure I can do this.


Of course you can do it, cause you are brilliant!


----------



## Mystic Rain

Pharadox said:


> Darling, you're only, what, 26-ish? There's lots of time for the right one to come along. If nothing else, be glad you haven't settled for the wrong one in your hurry to find the right one. Take your time and wait for him, because he'll be worth it.
> 
> And hey, sometimes the right one doesn't come around for some people (and it doesn't mean anything is wrong with you... it's just the circumstances). I've seriously considered adoption, in that case (and I've actually talked to people who say it is very possible for a single person to adopt).



Does age really have to play into this? It's not like I'm 16 or something. I'm just three and a half years shy of _30_. It's different, okay? I don't want to be a 40-year-old virgin. 

Settling for the wrong one doesn't seem to be likely for me. My criteria to hold out is slowing the process down. The odds are terrible to meet those qualifications, which is why I'm having a hard time finding the right one. And just when I think I have, I never hear from them again after one night/day. They never tell me _why_ either. I just want to know what I did to offend them, though we would be only talking about things like hobbies and work. It leads me to believe that there is something very wrong with me if they keep dipping out on me after an innocent conversation.

Adoption is great, but it seems unfair for the kid to have only one parent. I've knocked it around in my head on and off, but then I think I'm selfish in my desire to have children to deny them the other parent. It's nothing against you or anyone else looking that route, it's _me_.


----------



## Crystal

IC that this semester is already stressful and it's barely begun. I have great friends, family, and an amazing boyfriend to look out for me, but still. 

They say junior year is pretty tough, but damn.


----------



## Pharadox

Mystic Rain said:


> Does age really have to play into this? It's not like I'm 16 or something. I'm just three and a half years shy of _30_. It's different, okay? I don't want to be a 40-year-old virgin.
> 
> Settling for the wrong one doesn't seem to be likely for me. My criteria to hold out is slowing the process down. The odds are terrible to meet those qualifications, which is why I'm having a hard time finding the right one. And just when I think I have, I never hear from them again after one night/day. They never tell me _why_ either. I just want to know what I did to offend them, though we would be only talking about things like hobbies and work. It leads me to believe that there is something very wrong with me if they keep dipping out on me after an innocent conversation.
> 
> Adoption is great, but it seems unfair for the kid to have only one parent. I've knocked it around in my head on and off, but then I think I'm selfish in my desire to have children to deny them the other parent. It's nothing against you or anyone else looking that route, it's _me_.



Haha, yeah, I understand 30. I'm less than 6 months from it. 

And I understand about the adoption thing, too. I thought about the part where a father would be absent but in the end, there are so, soooo many kids who would happily take one parent over none (the older ones that are having trouble getting adopted because everyone wants babies). But there are also financial considerations and time considerations and if it just isn't right for you then it isn't.

I don't think there is something wrong with you. Maybe you're just attracting the wrong type of guys somehow? I have a bad track record in the past of allowing myself to get into relationships with really mean guys but that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with me as a person. I think I'd rather just be alone than end up with the wrong person again, because I've been there way too often. I'm being extremely patient this time.

Also, if they just dip out on after an innocent conversation, it's probably more of a reflection on their character than yours. You seem perfectly normal and personable to me!


----------



## luscious_lulu

(((((hugs to all)))))




MizzSnakeBite said:


> IC I'm freaking out. B i g t i m e . We'll be moving the first of March. I've been in *extreme* pain.......extreme. My right arm feels like it's being crushed. My left one is on fire. My back.....o m g........I have severe arthritis in my lumbar region, and every time I move I feel cracking and grating, AND my sciatica on the left side is horrendous. Nerve pain shooting down my left leg..... Of course, my pain doctor said she won't do anything than my two prescriptions until I lose weight. They aren't cutting it. I need the injections.
> 
> Somehow the entire house needs to be packed (and it's a major disaster area since I've been in too much pain to keep things neat and organized. That of course will make packing all the much harder.), the large shed needs to be cleaned out and packed (it will be moved by barn builders/movers to some friends' property in the town we're moving too). Then I have to pack my shed/workshop to be moved too.
> 
> Money.....don't get me started. I don't know how she plans on being ready to come up with all that money in such a short amount of time. She's borrowed all I have, so I have no backup. I'm having panic attacks, constant anxiety, I'll just start crying..... I'm losing it.
> 
> Whine, whine.
> 
> Sorry so long.





Mystic Rain said:


> I confess that I am destined to be alone for all of my life. That I'll never have children, and I love kids, nor will I know the kind of love that comes only with your chosen.
> 
> I can't find anyone real. It's always jerks that after talking to me _one_ time won't talk to me ever again (and they never freaking tell me why! I'm beginning to believe there's something truly wrong with me when it keeps happening time and time again...) or cling to me like some kind of vine because they are socially inept or are mentally unstable.
> 
> And I'm not looking for anyone perfect because there is no one "perfect". Is it so picky of me though that all I want is someone kind, decent, loyal, trustworthy and honorable? I don't think that's asking too much, but maybe it is.





Miss Vickie said:


> Tracy, I'm always so late getting mine up that it seems a shame to take them down! I plan on leaving my lights up until it gets lighter out. We have 16 hours of darkness (or more -- I try not to pay attention) so they still add a little bit of cheer to what is usually a very dark time in these parts.
> 
> My confession? I took my GRE's yesterday and I didn't totally embarrass myself. However, studying for the GRE's has put me behind (already!) in school. Ugh. I'm not sure I can do this.


----------



## olwen

Tracyarts said:


> I confess: That I *still* have my Christmas decorations up in my living room and decided to leave them up until the end of January. And last night, I took a drive and saw that a few people in my town still have outdoor lights on too. Next year I am leaving mine up at least until the second week of January, maybe even all month long!
> 
> Tracy



Most of the apartment buildings in my neighborhood are between 15 and 32 stories tall, and after Xmas, a good 1/3 of people with balconies keep their decorations up till summer!!! It's kind of cool when the strings are all one color. Then it just makes good party decorations. LOL


----------



## Tania

olwen said:


> Most of the apartment buildings in my neighborhood are between 15 and 32 stories tall, and after Xmas, a good 1/3 of people with balconies keep their decorations up till summer!!! It's kind of cool when the strings are all one color. Then it just makes good party decorations. LOL



I did that when I lived in the Berkeley hills! You could see our balcony twinkling from down in the flatlands.


----------



## calauria

CrystalUT11 said:


> IC that this semester is already stressful and it's barely begun. I have great friends, family, and an amazing boyfriend to look out for me, but still.
> 
> They say junior year is pretty tough, but damn.



I C my semester is starting off as a living hell already, too....lol


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC that even though so many things in my life are going amazingly well right now, I'm not feeling happy about them - all I can think about is why the guy I met online (not Dims) who I really liked is not contacting me anymore.


----------



## katorade

MizzSnakeBite said:


> IC I'm freaking out. B i g t i m e . We'll be moving the first of March. I've been in *extreme* pain.......extreme. My right arm feels like it's being crushed. My left one is on fire. My back.....o m g........I have severe arthritis in my lumbar region, and every time I move I feel cracking and grating, AND my sciatica on the left side is horrendous. Nerve pain shooting down my left leg..... Of course, my pain doctor said she won't do anything than my two prescriptions until I lose weight. They aren't cutting it. I need the injections.
> 
> Somehow the entire house needs to be packed (and it's a major disaster area since I've been in too much pain to keep things neat and organized. That of course will make packing all the much harder.), the large shed needs to be cleaned out and packed (it will be moved by barn builders/movers to some friends' property in the town we're moving too). Then I have to pack my shed/workshop to be moved too.
> 
> Money.....don't get me started. I don't know how she plans on being ready to come up with all that money in such a short amount of time. She's borrowed all I have, so I have no backup. I'm having panic attacks, constant anxiety, I'll just start crying..... I'm losing it.
> 
> Whine, whine.
> 
> Sorry so long.



How far are you moving? I may have some moving tips for you. I just recently moved from Ohio to California, I have rheumatoid arthritis, and had to be very mindful of my budget. You can and will get through this! If I can do it, you can!


----------



## littlefairywren

mcbeth said:


> IC that even though so many things in my life are going amazingly well right now, I'm not feeling happy about them - all I can think about is why the guy I met online (not Dims) who I really liked is not contacting me anymore.



(((Hugs))) mcbeth


----------



## Aust99

mcbeth said:


> IC that even though so many things in my life are going amazingly well right now, I'm not feeling happy about them - all I can think about is why the guy I met online (not Dims) who I really liked is not contacting me anymore.



Hugs.... that sucks... boys should just let you know what they are thinking rather than just disappearing.... I've been there hun...


----------



## Punkin1024

Devi - I agree with OWA and mergirl - cry it out. Crying is good for the soul and the body. I remember reading somewhere (don't ask me where, I just remember it..that's all) the tears are the body's way of releasing toxins. That is why women are often in better health than men...we cry a lot.  

Hugs to all of you that are having relationship problems, tough semesters, stressful situations. 

IC that I made it a point to come to Dimensions this evening. I'm not intentionally ignoring you all, though it may seem that way. Many times, I'll read through the threads/blogs and just can't think of a thing to say, but know that many of you are on my mind and in my prayers. Dimensions is my special place to connect with people I've come to care about over the years. I hope it remains for many years to come.


----------



## Sweet Tooth

Punkin1024 said:


> Devi - I agree with OWA and mergirl - cry it out. Crying is good for the soul and the body. I remember reading somewhere (don't ask me where, I just remember it..that's all) the tears are the body's way of releasing toxins. That is why women are often in better health than men...we cry a lot.



Sometimes a good cry does a world of good, like a volcano letting off some steam rather than erupting into a big heaping oozing pile. LOL

But this reminds me... I was reading something tonight, and the author was talking about "crying forward" - ie. crying while moving towards what is good and right for you to be doing, not moving backwards with your choices because of the pain or because it's familiar.


----------



## Eshadowgirl

*Im just tired....
I have 2 great jobs, a nice little house and car. 2 great little dogs that i adore.*

*But im tired..Being single...being childless...and getting older by the minute. Ive resigned the fact I will never have children....its something Ive had to accept. But being single???? Oh come on..give me a break!!!*

*Im just tired...*

*But tomorrows a new day. I'll be up early, working til 230pm, get my car from the body shop, nail appt at 330pm...Grocery shopping..*
*Then a nap, and to work(my 2nd job) at 11pm. I just keep moving along, 1 day at a time.*

*Winter sucks.*


----------



## LovelyLiz

littlefairywren said:


> (((Hugs))) mcbeth





Aust99 said:


> Hugs.... that sucks... boys should just let you know what they are thinking rather than just disappearing.... I've been there hun...



Thanks, ladies. It honestly does really help. And to know it has happened to other girls (even hot ones like you Aust99 - blows my mind!) makes me not fee so alone in it. It'll pass, and then I'll be like, why did I make such a big deal out of that?


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

katherine22 said:


> I want to share this moment of happiness with my sisters on the BBW forum.
> Just when I resigned myself to being alone, I have fallen in love, and he loves me back.:wubu:




Excellent news Katherine...I wish you all the happiness in the world!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Miss Vickie said:


> I'm sorry, Tania.  Men sometimes suck, don't they? I hope next time is more... uhm... fruitful for you.
> 
> My confession? I started back to school this week, and I think I must be insane.



Good luck....You can do it and will be great!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Ladies these men that keep pulling a hodini trick are not worth your time or energy..Blow them off and let them stay gone..Do me bad,shame on you,do me bad again,shame on me!

Devi all of these ladies are right..Cry,cry until it is all gone..Best way to get rid of stress if you can't have sex!  Things will get better I promise..Keep moving forward and life will be good to you!

Eshadow,sounds like you need a night off to just sleep..Stop wanting and looking for love,just blow it off for a while and see where you end up...Tell your clock you aren't listening any more and you have had it..

IC I am so sick of my pc I could throw it out the damn window...I have spent the last 11 hours trying to get a nasty trojan off of it..Might have done it but grrrrrr...


----------



## jdsumm

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC I am so sick of my pc I could throw it out the damn window...I have spent the last 11 hours trying to get a nasty trojan off of it..Might have done it but grrrrrr...



I've been working that long and still have one of those nasty suckers UGH!!!

IC I feel trapped and unappreciated and used by people I work for as well as the people I care for. Longing to someday get back a little of the support, delight, and loyalty that I give away. Don't get me wrong I wont stop giving that away freely as I don't want to let the pain and disappointment change me and harden my heart. (I've been down that road and a hard heart is hard as hell to soften so it can feel again) but I really am growing weary of the hurt from being let down over and over and over again. 

IC I appreciate being allowed to throw a pity party for myself here


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC I am so sick of my pc I could throw it out the damn window...I have spent the last 11 hours trying to get a nasty trojan off of it..Might have done it but grrrrrr...



Yeah, those used condoms can be a pain in the ass to get rid of when they're stuck to something. Have you tried a scraper? 

Thanks . I'm trying to take it day by day. I know it doesn't help that I can't sleep since my back is so terrible.


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> *Yeah, those used condoms can be a pain in the ass to get rid of when they're stuck to something. Have you tried a scraper? *
> 
> Thanks . I'm trying to take it day by day. I know it doesn't help that I can't sleep since my back is so terrible.



I nearly choked on a bit of apple when I read that! OMG that was so funny 
Love you Devi :kiss2:


----------



## Famouslastwords

I C that I wish that I weighed less and that I feel helpless to do anything about it because it's so hard to lose weight.


----------



## butch

IC that yesterday was one long "Let's not sit next to the fattie" day.  Everywhere I went on the bus, with one exception, no one would sit next to me. I went to a training session last night, and the seat next to me was the last one to be filled (because it was the last open seat). Sometimes the evil bitch in me wants to proclaim, loudly, on the bus "There are some dumbasses on this bus who would rather stand then sit next to a fattie when there is plenty of room for their skinny ass in the seat next to the fattie."* I think the only people on the bus who get treated worse are the homeless. I don't want to disparage the homeless, but hey, I'm not so keen on being lumped in with them on public transportation. 


*This used to make me feel sad, bad about myself, but now it just pisses me off, and reminds me that people are stupid. I know there is plenty of room on the buses, because when I sit next to a thin person on the bus, I have plenty of room for my fat ass.


----------



## archivaltype

CrystalUT11 said:


> IC that this semester is already stressful and it's barely begun. I have great friends, family, and an amazing boyfriend to look out for me, but still.
> 
> They say junior year is pretty tough, but damn.



Ditto. 

IC that even though this is the hardest semester ever, I'm so excited about my new internship. SO.EXCITED. 
(thanks to everyone who wished me luck! )


----------



## mszwebs

I confess that in helping a friend look at and plan for her wedding, Off Beat Bride has become one of my new favorite websites!

lol I love wedding porn


----------



## luscious_lulu

If that was me it would make me happy. I would be able to spread my stuff out and get comfy!



butch said:


> IC that yesterday was one long "Let's not sit next to the fattie" day.  Everywhere I went on the bus, with one exception, no one would sit next to me. I went to a training session last night, and the seat next to me was the last one to be filled (because it was the last open seat). Sometimes the evil bitch in me wants to proclaim, loudly, on the bus "There are some dumbasses on this bus who would rather stand then sit next to a fattie when there is plenty of room for their skinny ass in the seat next to the fattie."* I think the only people on the bus who get treated worse are the homeless. I don't want to disparage the homeless, but hey, I'm not so keen on being lumped in with them on public transportation.
> 
> 
> *This used to make me feel sad, bad about myself, but now it just pisses me off, and reminds me that people are stupid. I know there is plenty of room on the buses, because when I sit next to a thin person on the bus, I have plenty of room for my fat ass.


----------



## mossystate

I sometimes feel that I might be one of few women who do not obssess over whether or not a man is an ' fa '. Until I found Dims, I just dated and loved and liked and I did not need handwringing labels. I am weird, I suppose. Shhhhh...don't agree with that......is rude.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

jdsumm said:


> I've been working that long and still have one of those nasty suckers UGH!!!



Which one do you have? I got that nasty antivirus live one....Then I got it again today! So I downloaded 4 new programs and dare it to come back! I knew I should have taken internet explorer off my pc..Virus and trojan trap!


----------



## Pharadox

IC I met this guy online and I've known him for five years, but only online. Last night I told him that I'm fat. We've been talking about finally meeting for a couple of months now but I felt that I had to tell him this before we did that. I was actually dreading it because whether I accept and love myself or not, that doesn't necessarily mean others will and I was really (unnecessarily) concerned that it would completely change things between us and he'd be upset. What can I say? Roughly 20 years of conditioned expectation of rejection from people because of my weight is hard to let go of.

He was AMAZING about it. He said that he doesn't care what other people think or say and that I'm the same person he's always known all these years and that is what matters. And now we're really going to see each other in about a month.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

katorade said:


> How far are you moving? I may have some moving tips for you. I just recently moved from Ohio to California, I have rheumatoid arthritis, and had to be very mindful of my budget. You can and will get through this! If I can do it, you can!



I'm only moving 1-1/2 hours away to a little town in the sticks.... I have a pain disorder too...Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy.. Please PM me any tips you might have!


----------



## katorade

MizzSnakeBite said:


> I'm only moving 1-1/2 hours away to a little town in the sticks.... I have a pain disorder too...Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy.. Please PM me any tips you might have!



Ah, I was going to suggest the company I used for moving long distances (u-pack), but it will probably be cheaper for you to use a truck.

Are you considering movers?


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

OneWickedAngel said:


> *{{{{{{{{{{ MSB }}}}}}}}}}*
> 
> Wow. No need to apologize at all. You absolutely needed to get that off your chest. I'm just glad you have someplace to do so.
> I can only offer words,which are of no major help, but they may perhaps help with the coping until things get a little better (when things settle after the move).
> 
> You feel like you're losing and are about to cry? DO IT. Go cry. Find an understanding friend, go in the shower, wait until no one is home, go where ever you'll feel comfortable to do so honey and just BAWL. Will it solve anything? No, but you may be surprised at just how much better you'll feel once you've got it, at least enough of, if not all out of your system.
> 
> And then go get that magical spray can again.





mergirl said:


> You have so much on your mind its no wonder you are freaking out. I don't think humans are built for all the modern day major stresses that happen to us (generally all at the same freaking time as well!) and we respond in the totally normal way of flipping out!
> Moving house is one of the most stressful things we can do, there are so many worries, small and large and stuff to do and these are compounded by a sense of insecurity cause you are leaving your home for the unknown. I am with OWA here and think that getting it all out is always for the best. Write here and tell us all the things big and small that are freaking you out. Take things one thing at a time. Write a list of the things that need done and try to take a deep breath and do them one thing at a time...breathing all the while in between. Try not to feel rushed. You can only go as fast as you can, so there is no point in worrying about it. Maby you can get some help, if the moving bit gets too much?
> I think too that when you have a massive project on (like moving house) which is stresful anyway, being in pain is going to make you feel a whole lot more anxious about it. You know what.. i could fucking kill doctors .. *If the FBI are watching.. i don't really mean it*!!!!!!!!!! I could go on a rant for EVER...suffice to say..it would be amazing if you could change doctors to someone who would send you to a consultant/physio and not assume that the reason any fat people have any pain/illness (mental or physical), rob banks, flip out, buy a cat is because they are freekin fat! This must be so frustrating i can't even imagine. Though, if you can somehow 'manage' your pain right now as best you can and perhaps try to find some help with the heavy lifting side of moving.. hopefully when you move you can look into moving doctors too. *I know very little of American health care, though what i have heard has really shocked me*
> The money situation must be mega stressful too, but i'm not really sure whats going on there, so hopefully you will be able to try to work something out.
> I can totally understand why you are freaking. I think you are having a totally normal reaction to a lot of very very stressful things going on in your life right now missus. Moving, health and pain and money worries...thats a lot of worrying to be doing all at one time. If you try to break everything down into smaller pieces this could help, also come here when you are freaking out about the particulars and i'm sure there will be help on hand or at least a friendly ear. Obviously the pain will be there.. but perhaps the moving bit can be broken down so that it is less overwhelming.
> You take care. Breath and think about how nice and relaxing it will be to be staying in your new place. Visualise it and remember why you are moving. Think about all the nice things that come with a new place and about making the place your own. Perhaps, when you move and are settled the other things will fall into place for you, or at least you will be able to tackle them on solid ground.
> you can always pm me too.
> Love and light and virtual tissue handing. xx





luscious_lulu said:


> (((((hugs to all)))))





Punkin1024 said:


> Devi - I agree with OWA and mergirl - cry it out. Crying is good for the soul and the body. I remember reading somewhere (don't ask me where, I just remember it..that's all) the tears are the body's way of releasing toxins. That is why women are often in better health than men...we cry a lot.





Sweet Tooth said:


> Sometimes a good cry does a world of good, like a volcano letting off some steam rather than erupting into a big heaping oozing pile. LOL
> 
> But this reminds me... I was reading something tonight, and the author was talking about "crying forward" - ie. crying while moving towards what is good and right for you to be doing, not moving backwards with your choices because of the pain or because it's familiar.




Thanks everyone. I'm now at the point that I want to cry, but simply cannot...I know that's not a good thing..... I am seeing a psychiatrist so she knows what's going on. I think the change will be good in quite a few ways (bad in others...), just the physical pain is doing me in. My mom keeps going all over the place....one thing one day, the opposite the next, and she just makes my head start spinning. 

And there's been new developments . Our landlady called and was like "ahhhhhhhh......" My mom said, "so you heard we're moving." (we were going to give our 30 day notice on Feb. 1st). She said yes, and wanted us to stay until they sold the house. That they had a lot of houses empty and they were being broken into. She said she'd drop the rent to what it would be at the apartments. She doesn't care that the house is a disaster area; that they're selling at a very reduced amount and 'as is'. If we're not done packing, they'd write into the contract to give us enough time to pack. Some other stuff too. My mom said she'd have to talk to me and get back to her. This is a good thing and a bad thing.......I just want this damn thing over with, but we do need more time....... I'm really just so sick of it all. Stick a fork in me, I'm done.


----------



## Tania

MizzSnakeBite said:


> This is a good thing and a bad thing.......I just want this damn thing over with, but we do need more time....... I'm really just so sick of it all. Stick a fork in me, I'm done.



Blah.  I know you want to be out of there ASAP, but extra time is a very comforting insurance policy given the circumstances. If you need a break, you can take it.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Pharadox said:


> IC I met this guy online and I've known him for five years, but only online. Last night I told him that I'm fat. We've been talking about finally meeting for a couple of months now but I felt that I had to tell him this before we did that. I was actually dreading it because whether I accept and love myself or not, that doesn't necessarily mean others will and I was really (unnecessarily) concerned that it would completely change things between us and he'd be upset. What can I say? Roughly 20 years of conditioned expectation of rejection from people because of my weight is hard to let go of.
> 
> He was AMAZING about it. He said that he doesn't care what other people think or say and that I'm the same person he's always known all these years and that is what matters. And now we're really going to see each other in about a month.



Yay, Pharadox!!! How wonderful! And that's really exciting that you guys are finally going to meet in person. Hope it goes well, and can't wait for the update.


----------



## Pharadox

mcbeth said:


> Yay, Pharadox!!! How wonderful! And that's really exciting that you guys are finally going to meet in person. Hope it goes well, and can't wait for the update.



Aww, thanks.  I'll keep you updated when it happens.


----------



## littlefairywren

Pharadox said:


> IC I met this guy online and I've known him for five years, but only online. Last night I told him that I'm fat. We've been talking about finally meeting for a couple of months now but I felt that I had to tell him this before we did that. I was actually dreading it because whether I accept and love myself or not, that doesn't necessarily mean others will and I was really (unnecessarily) concerned that it would completely change things between us and he'd be upset. What can I say? Roughly 20 years of conditioned expectation of rejection from people because of my weight is hard to let go of.
> 
> He was AMAZING about it. He said that he doesn't care what other people think or say and that I'm the same person he's always known all these years and that is what matters. And now we're really going to see each other in about a month.



Oooh, how exciting! They are so much more fun in the flesh too 
Yep, we want to know how it goes....juicy details LOL.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tania said:


> Blah.  I know you want to be out of there ASAP, but extra time is a very comforting insurance policy given the circumstances. If you need a break, you can take it.



Thanks dear


----------



## Tau

katherine22 said:


> I want to share this moment of happiness with my sisters on the BBW forum.
> Just when I resigned myself to being alone, I have fallen in love, and he loves me back.:wubu:



Ah chick!!! *ecstatic dance of glee!* I'm so, so happy for you! *big hugz*


----------



## luscious_lulu

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Thanks everyone. I'm now at the point that I want to cry, but simply cannot...I know that's not a good thing..... I am seeing a psychiatrist so she knows what's going on. I think the change will be good in quite a few ways (bad in others...), just the physical pain is doing me in. My mom keeps going all over the place....one thing one day, the opposite the next, and she just makes my head start spinning.
> 
> And there's been new developments . Our landlady called and was like "ahhhhhhhh......" My mom said, "so you heard we're moving." (we were going to give our 30 day notice on Feb. 1st). She said yes, and wanted us to stay until they sold the house. That they had a lot of houses empty and they were being broken into. She said she'd drop the rent to what it would be at the apartments. She doesn't care that the house is a disaster area; that they're selling at a very reduced amount and 'as is'. If we're not done packing, they'd write into the contract to give us enough time to pack. Some other stuff too. My mom said she'd have to talk to me and get back to her. This is a good thing and a bad thing.......I just want this damn thing over with, but we do need more time....... I'm really just so sick of it all. Stick a fork in me, I'm done.




Just do what's best for you and your mom! (((hugs)))


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> Just do what's best for you and your mom! (((hugs)))



Thanks Pat! We're trying to figure out exactly what to do (time limits, prices, etc) since we want it in writing. 

One of the main problems is that we need a first floor apartment (my mom has some medical issues, and also right now with my back the way it is, going up and down stairs a lot would be excruciating). They have a couple two bedroom first floor apartments available right now, but who knows months from now..... The leasing lady said those tend to go first.

P.S. I hope you're feeling well!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

katorade said:


> Ah, I was going to suggest the company I used for moving long distances (u-pack), but it will probably be cheaper for you to use a truck.
> 
> Are you considering movers?



My mom's friend's husband will help load stuff onto the truck, and we'll hire a couple guys to help him. She's tossed around the idea of hiring someone to help us pack, but with how tight funds are, I don't see how that will be possible. She might be able to see if her friend can help us pack, but right now she's in the process of packing up her mom's house.


----------



## luscious_lulu

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Thanks Pat! We're trying to figure out exactly what to do (time limits, prices, etc) since we want it in writing.
> 
> One of the main problems is that we need a first floor apartment (my mom has some medical issues, and also right now with my back the way it is, going up and down stairs a lot would be excruciating). They have a couple two bedroom first floor apartments available right now, but who knows months from now..... The leasing lady said those tend to go first.
> 
> P.S. I hope you're feeling well!


Devi, 

I'm doing well emotionally and physically. Not fantastic, but better than I've felt in a long time. I feel like I'm finally getting back to the old me and it's a good feeling.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mcbeth said:


> all I can think about is why the guy I met online (not Dims) who I really liked is not contacting me anymore.



((((HUGS)))) Men can suck. I hate it when they'll just scamper off without giving you a reason why they left.



Eshadowgirl said:


> *Im just tired....
> I have 2 great jobs, a nice little house and car. 2 great little dogs that i adore.*



Oh boy, do I understand the entire being sick of being single and being tired! It sounds like you need to take the weekend off (or at least a night off). Order some food, watch a movie, take a bubble bath, then get yourself some sleep! Pamper yourself. I hope you'll be able to get a weekend of just you time . That will make life more bearable.
Hugs,
Mizz



littlefairywren said:


> I nearly choked on a bit of apple when I read that! OMG that was so funny
> Love you Devi :kiss2:



The sad/funny thing is, is that that was the first thing that popped into my head!

Wuv you too! :wubu:
Devi



Famouslastwords said:


> I C that I wish that I weighed less and that I feel helpless to do anything about it because it's so hard to lose weight.



I soooo understand.



butch said:


> IC that yesterday was one long "Let's not sit next to the fattie" day.



Yeah, it's like being fat is a contagious disease. OMG, we can't sit next to her, we'll catch it!!!  

They don't realize they're missing out on being beside someone so wonderful!
Hugs to Mizz Panda 



Pharadox said:


> IC
> He was AMAZING about it. He said that he doesn't care what other people think or say and that I'm the same person he's always known all these years and that is what matters. And now we're really going to see each other in about a month.



How wonderful!!! How did you meet him (just being nosy and wondering lol)? I wish you the best luck and let us know how it goes!!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> Devi,
> 
> I'm doing well emotionally and physically. Not fantastic, but better than I've felt in a long time. I feel like I'm finally getting back to the old me and it's a good feeling.



Wonderful!!! :happy: I hope you continue to improve! :kiss2:


----------



## goofy girl

Mystic Rain said:


> I confess that I am destined to be alone for all of my life. That I'll never have children, and I love kids, nor will I know the kind of love that comes only with your chosen.
> 
> I can't find anyone real. It's always jerks that after talking to me _one_ time won't talk to me ever again (and they never freaking tell me why! I'm beginning to believe there's something truly wrong with me when it keeps happening time and time again...) or cling to me like some kind of vine because they are socially inept or are mentally unstable.
> 
> And I'm not looking for anyone perfect because there is no one "perfect". Is it so picky of me though that all I want is someone kind, decent, loyal, trustworthy and honorable? I don't think that's asking too much, but maybe it is.





Mystic Rain said:


> Does age really have to play into this? It's not like I'm 16 or something. I'm just three and a half years shy of _30_. It's different, okay? I don't want to be a 40-year-old virgin.
> 
> Settling for the wrong one doesn't seem to be likely for me. My criteria to hold out is slowing the process down. The odds are terrible to meet those qualifications, which is why I'm having a hard time finding the right one. And just when I think I have, I never hear from them again after one night/day. They never tell me _why_ either. I just want to know what I did to offend them, though we would be only talking about things like hobbies and work. It leads me to believe that there is something very wrong with me if they keep dipping out on me after an innocent conversation.
> 
> Adoption is great, but it seems unfair for the kid to have only one parent. I've knocked it around in my head on and off, but then I think I'm selfish in my desire to have children to deny them the other parent. It's nothing against you or anyone else looking that route, it's _me_.



I had never had a real boyfriend, TONS of first dates and enough NSA sexual partners to last me about 8 lifetimes. 

I met Steve when I was 27, and he was the first real live boyfriend I had. And we got married less than two years later.

It was a very random meeting (we met on the bus), he was NOTHING like what I had imagined having as a partner at all. He's short and goofy, and acts like an old lady (doesn't like to cross the street, he's a total hermit, drinks tea like it's crack, loves Miss Marple), he has a physical disability, hates to travel, doesn't drink, nose is always in a book....but I sure did end up falling in love and fast. 

I had finally accepted the idea that I was going to be the crazy old cat lady that lived alone and I was super lonely, but pretty OK with it too. If that makes sense. 

Anyway, what I'm trying to say it that it will happen when the time is right. I promise


----------



## jdsumm

BubbleButtBabe said:


> Which one do you have? I got that nasty antivirus live one....Then I got it again today! So I downloaded 4 new programs and dare it to come back! I knew I should have taken internet explorer off my pc..Virus and trojan trap!



That is the one I had. I THINK/HOPE/PRAY that I finally got rid of it, but I had to go out and buy a program to download, I couldn't get one online to work. I thought I had it gone last night then it came back this morning so I had to do another sweep which took another 4 hours but I think I've gotten rid of it this time. What a PAIN! Hope yours is gone too!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

It is easy to get rid of once you figure out how..First off have 2 browser.....Firefox works great and I have heard some good stuff about Chrome..If you have IE on your pc,go into tools,internet options, when the box comes up click connections,click on LAN settings..Make sure that* "use a proxy for your LAN"* is unchecked..Click okay and leave..That will free your internet so you can get online and find a way to get rid of it..Go and download *rkill*..It gets rid of it..Then download COMODO,that is a firewall and virus scanner,it's free...Works fantastic..I finally got rid of all of it yesterday..My Malwarebytes and Avira was useless because I had IE on my computer and Antivirus live blocks all internet traffic by clicking that proxy button!

I am glad you got rid of it!!......Sorry you had to buy a program to do it..I kept checking back to see if you came on so I could tell you the free way to do it..


----------



## jdsumm

BubbleButtBabe said:


> It is easy to get rid of once you figure out how..First off have 2 browser.....Firefox works great and I have heard some good stuff about Chrome..If you have IE on your pc,go into tools,internet options, when the box comes up click connections,click on LAN settings..Make sure that* "use a proxy for your LAN"* is unchecked..Click okay and leave..That will free your internet so you can get online and find a way to get rid of it..Go and download *rkill*..It gets rid of it..Then download COMODO,that is a firewall and virus scanner,it's free...Works fantastic..I finally got rid of all of it yesterday..My Malwarebytes and Avira was useless because I had IE on my computer and Antivirus live blocks all internet traffic by clicking that proxy button!
> 
> I am glad you got rid of it!!......Sorry you had to buy a program to do it..I kept checking back to see if you came on so I could tell you the free way to do it..



Thanks! I do have Firefox and I did try that unchecking the proxy thing on IE but it kept "rechecking it" faster than I could get any of the free online stuff downloaded. I didn't try rkill though. Anyway thanks again for your help


----------



## katorade

MizzSnakeBite said:


> My mom's friend's husband will help load stuff onto the truck, and we'll hire a couple guys to help him. She's tossed around the idea of hiring someone to help us pack, but with how tight funds are, I don't see how that will be possible. She might be able to see if her friend can help us pack, but right now she's in the process of packing up her mom's house.




If you hire a couple of guys from a local moving company to help, most of them will have a time minimum for how long they work. 2 guys is usually a 1 or 2 hour minimum. For reference, it took 2 guys about 15 minutes to pack my one bedroom apartment into a pod.

Local movers are usually very flexible and willing to work with you, so it may be possible to include some packing help into your moving costs rather than wasting money if you don't use the full minimum.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

You are welcome...The secret is to be faster then the program...I would get Firefox loaded and looking before all the pop ups could start!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

katorade said:


> If you hire a couple of guys from a local moving company to help, most of them will have a time minimum for how long they work. 2 guys is usually a 1 or 2 hour minimum. For reference, it took 2 guys about 15 minutes to pack my one bedroom apartment into a pod.
> 
> Local movers are usually very flexible and willing to work with you, so it may be possible to include some packing help into your moving costs rather than wasting money if you don't use the full minimum.



Thanks!


----------



## indy500tchr

Tracyarts said:


> I confess: That I *still* have my Christmas decorations up in my living room and decided to leave them up until the end of January. And last night, I took a drive and saw that a few people in my town still have outdoor lights on too. Next year I am leaving mine up at least until the second week of January, maybe even all month long!
> 
> Tracy



I still have my tree up b/c it's the only light I have in my living room. It's gonna stay up until I can buy a lamp.


----------



## steely

indy500tchr said:


> I still have my tree up b/c it's the only light I have in my living room. It's gonna stay up until I can buy a lamp.



This made me smile! 

I confess that occasionally I get sick to death of the people in my life. I want a do-over with some of them or a do not do-over.


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that I've felt kind of blah lately. I've read several posts around the forums, but just can't seem to find the words to say anything substantial. Perhaps this will change once the weekend comes around.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Punkin1024 said:


> IC that I've felt kind of blah lately. I've read several posts around the forums, but just can't seem to find the words to say anything substantial. Perhaps this will change once the weekend comes around.



No need to say anything substantial!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

IC I'm about to fall apart.

Two days ago, my mom comes in and says we're just going to "forget it" and not move. I've been emotionally and physically pushed to my limit because of this move, and she just decides these types of things on a whim. It's like she has zero idea what I've put my body through because *she* was the one in the first place that *insisted* we *had* to move.

My lower back is really screwed up after all the lifting, shoving, packing, etc. The nerves in my lower back are going crazy and I have sciatica now. I'm in agony........excruciating doesn't even describe the degree of pain. I'll start screaming because I'm in so much pain. Walking the three feet to the bathroom feels like it's miles. I can barely lift my legs to walk because of my back. 

I'm afraid I'm going to really hurt myself because I keep tripping since I can hardly lift my feet. I sorta have to shuffle, stop, take hold of my pants, then hold my leg up enough so I can lift my foot up (if that makes any sense), then stop and do the entire thing over again and again until I get to where I need to go. Sitting is torture, standing is torture, lying down is often torture. Then, of course, I have all the other crap going on that goes on with my pain disorder that I have to deal with. 

I keep stretching slooooooooooooooowly to try to relax my muscles, but that really isn't helping hardly at all. I can't take Advil or any of the other related OTCs. I took a hot bath with Epsom Salts and that hardly helped too..plus I almost couldn't get into the tub and out of the tub because of my back and all the tightness in my back and legs. I don't know what else to do...... I'm on a Rx pain med, but it isn't even touching this pain.......

The first appointment I can get with my pain doctor is for next Wednesday......and I don't even see the point of going except to get refills on my usual prescriptions. She won't do a thing. She's told me she won't do anything (injections, procedures, etc) until I lose weight. I'm berated and pretty much humiliated the entire time I'm there because of my weight. I know I've gained since I was last there, and she'll be all over me for that.... She's threatened me that she'll drop me as a patient for "non-compliance" because I'm not losing weight. This is a woman that told me on my very first visit that she needs to lose 50lbs, but can't get it off and still can't.....and she has no health issues to deal with...... But god forbid if I don't drop weight. She's all into punishing a patient if they don't obey every command.

My entire life I was treated substandard by family and people in general because of my size. I finally started working on getting some self-esteem built up and realizing that I'm still worthwhile regardless of my size, but she's shattered all of that by all the terrible and nasty comments she's made to me.....that any fat woman that thinks she's pretty is delusional, that if your fat you can't find a good man, that as you lose weight, you will get a better and better quality of man, on and on....... I hate her. Because I'm on Medicaid and pain management isn't a huge field to begin with, I'm stuck. If I could go to someone else, I would.

I'm so sick of everything being so difficult. I know life isn't easy for anyone, but I just don't know how much more I can take of this. If we had moved, at least the pain would have been worth it, since something good would have come out of all that pain inducing work. Now nothing except cleaning everything and unpacking. When will my mother start acting like an adult and thinking about the possible future outcomes because of her actions. Probably never.

Life's really sucking right now and I'm trying to keep it together without going totally ballistic. I feel like crying, but I just can't. It just won't come out.

Sorry so long...


----------



## StarWitness

My best friend's dad is undergoing open heart surgery this afternoon, and there's a good chance that he won't survive. Even if he makes it through, he has other very serious health problems.

IC that besides going home for the funeral, I don't know how to be a good friend to her when her dad dies. I don't know what to say or do. I'm a five hour drive from her, and neither of us can afford the time off from work for an extended visit. She doesn't have the best relationship with her mom or her sister, so I want to be there for her if she needs the support and I hate feeling like I'm no better for her than they are.


----------



## Dmitra

Dear Mizz! I'm so sorry that you've been put through all this useless, agonizing effort. I wish there were some way I could help. And the least that doctor deserves is to lose her license for being a quack sadist!

{{{{{{{{MizzSnakeBite}}}}}}}}




MizzSnakeBite said:


> IC I'm about to fall apart.


----------



## Dmitra

Sometimes saying the simplest thing will be enough: "I'm sorry" or even "I don't know what to say but I'm here for you" can help. And being there at the funeral with her, definitely.

I can only say for myself but my own dad's passing affected me in ways I couldn't have begun to predict so maybe keep in mind she may say or do things that are out of character for her or even hurtful to hear. Grief is not rational.



StarWitness said:


> My best friend's dad is undergoing open heart surgery this afternoon, and there's a good chance that he won't survive. Even if he makes it through, he has other very serious health problems.
> 
> IC that besides going home for the funeral, I don't know how to be a good friend to her when her dad dies. I don't know what to say or do. I'm a five hour drive from her, and neither of us can afford the time off from work for an extended visit. She doesn't have the best relationship with her mom or her sister, so I want to be there for her if she needs the support and I hate feeling like I'm no better for her than they are.


----------



## steely

DameQ said:


> Sometimes saying the simplest thing will be enough: "I'm sorry" or even "I don't know what to say but I'm here for you" can help. And being there at the funeral with her, definitely.
> 
> I can only say for myself but my own dad's passing affected me in ways I couldn't have begun to predict so maybe keep in mind she may say or do things that are out of character for her or even hurtful to hear. Grief is not rational.



I know myself, "I don't know what to say" made me feel much better. I didn't know what to say either and somehow that made sense.


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> IC I'm about to fall apart.
> 
> Two days ago, my mom comes in and says we're just going to "forget it" and not move. I've been emotionally and physically pushed to my limit because of this move, and she just decides these types of things on a whim. It's like she has zero idea what I've put my body through because *she* was the one in the first place that *insisted* we *had* to move.
> 
> My lower back is really screwed up after all the lifting, shoving, packing, etc. The nerves in my lower back are going crazy and I have sciatica now. I'm in agony........excruciating doesn't even describe the degree of pain. I'll start screaming because I'm in so much pain. Walking the three feet to the bathroom feels like it's miles. I can barely lift my legs to walk because of my back.
> 
> I'm afraid I'm going to really hurt myself because I keep tripping since I can hardly lift my feet. I sorta have to shuffle, stop, take hold of my pants, then hold my leg up enough so I can lift my foot up (if that makes any sense), then stop and do the entire thing over again and again until I get to where I need to go. Sitting is torture, standing is torture, lying down is often torture. Then, of course, I have all the other crap going on that goes on with my pain disorder that I have to deal with.
> 
> I keep stretching slooooooooooooooowly to try to relax my muscles, but that really isn't helping hardly at all. I can't take Advil or any of the other related OTCs. I took a hot bath with Epsom Salts and that hardly helped too..plus I almost couldn't get into the tub and out of the tub because of my back and all the tightness in my back and legs. I don't know what else to do...... I'm on a Rx pain med, but it isn't even touching this pain.......
> 
> The first appointment I can get with my pain doctor is for next Wednesday......and I don't even see the point of going except to get refills on my usual prescriptions. She won't do a thing. She's told me she won't do anything (injections, procedures, etc) until I lose weight. I'm berated and pretty much humiliated the entire time I'm there because of my weight. I know I've gained since I was last there, and she'll be all over me for that.... She's threatened me that she'll drop me as a patient for "non-compliance" because I'm not losing weight. This is a woman that told me on my very first visit that she needs to lose 50lbs, but can't get it off and still can't.....and she has no health issues to deal with...... But god forbid if I don't drop weight. She's all into punishing a patient if they don't obey every command.
> 
> My entire life I was treated substandard by family and people in general because of my size. I finally started working on getting some self-esteem built up and realizing that I'm still worthwhile regardless of my size, but she's shattered all of that by all the terrible and nasty comments she's made to me.....that any fat woman that thinks she's pretty is delusional, that if your fat you can't find a good man, that as you lose weight, you will get a better and better quality of man, on and on....... I hate her. Because I'm on Medicaid and pain management isn't a huge field to begin with, I'm stuck. If I could go to someone else, I would.
> 
> I'm so sick of everything being so difficult. I know life isn't easy for anyone, but I just don't know how much more I can take of this. If we had moved, at least the pain would have been worth it, since something good would have come out of all that pain inducing work. Now nothing except cleaning everything and unpacking. When will my mother start acting like an adult and thinking about the possible future outcomes because of her actions. Probably never.
> 
> Life's really sucking right now and I'm trying to keep it together without going totally ballistic. I feel like crying, but I just can't. It just won't come out.
> 
> Sorry so long...



I know I can't do anything to make you feel any better about your situation Devi, except to say I am thinking of you and sending you are very big virtual (((HUG))) my dear friend :happy:


----------



## littlefairywren

StarWitness said:


> My best friend's dad is undergoing open heart surgery this afternoon, and there's a good chance that he won't survive. Even if he makes it through, he has other very serious health problems.
> 
> IC that besides going home for the funeral, I don't know how to be a good friend to her when her dad dies. I don't know what to say or do. I'm a five hour drive from her, and neither of us can afford the time off from work for an extended visit. She doesn't have the best relationship with her mom or her sister, so I want to be there for her if she needs the support and I hate feeling like I'm no better for her than they are.



Sometimes all you need do, is touch someone and they know you care. The simple act of taking someone's hand in times of grief can be all that is needed, even if there are no words.


----------



## luscious_lulu

MizzSnakeBite said:


> IC I'm about to fall apart.
> 
> Two days ago, my mom comes in and says we're just going to "forget it" and not move. I've been emotionally and physically pushed to my limit because of this move, and she just decides these types of things on a whim. It's like she has zero idea what I've put my body through because *she* was the one in the first place that *insisted* we *had* to move.
> 
> My lower back is really screwed up after all the lifting, shoving, packing, etc. The nerves in my lower back are going crazy and I have sciatica now. I'm in agony........excruciating doesn't even describe the degree of pain. I'll start screaming because I'm in so much pain. Walking the three feet to the bathroom feels like it's miles. I can barely lift my legs to walk because of my back.
> 
> I'm afraid I'm going to really hurt myself because I keep tripping since I can hardly lift my feet. I sorta have to shuffle, stop, take hold of my pants, then hold my leg up enough so I can lift my foot up (if that makes any sense), then stop and do the entire thing over again and again until I get to where I need to go. Sitting is torture, standing is torture, lying down is often torture. Then, of course, I have all the other crap going on that goes on with my pain disorder that I have to deal with.
> 
> I keep stretching slooooooooooooooowly to try to relax my muscles, but that really isn't helping hardly at all. I can't take Advil or any of the other related OTCs. I took a hot bath with Epsom Salts and that hardly helped too..plus I almost couldn't get into the tub and out of the tub because of my back and all the tightness in my back and legs. I don't know what else to do...... I'm on a Rx pain med, but it isn't even touching this pain.......
> 
> The first appointment I can get with my pain doctor is for next Wednesday......and I don't even see the point of going except to get refills on my usual prescriptions. She won't do a thing. She's told me she won't do anything (injections, procedures, etc) until I lose weight. I'm berated and pretty much humiliated the entire time I'm there because of my weight. I know I've gained since I was last there, and she'll be all over me for that.... She's threatened me that she'll drop me as a patient for "non-compliance" because I'm not losing weight. This is a woman that told me on my very first visit that she needs to lose 50lbs, but can't get it off and still can't.....and she has no health issues to deal with...... But god forbid if I don't drop weight. She's all into punishing a patient if they don't obey every command.
> 
> My entire life I was treated substandard by family and people in general because of my size. I finally started working on getting some self-esteem built up and realizing that I'm still worthwhile regardless of my size, but she's shattered all of that by all the terrible and nasty comments she's made to me.....that any fat woman that thinks she's pretty is delusional, that if your fat you can't find a good man, that as you lose weight, you will get a better and better quality of man, on and on....... I hate her. Because I'm on Medicaid and pain management isn't a huge field to begin with, I'm stuck. If I could go to someone else, I would.
> 
> I'm so sick of everything being so difficult. I know life isn't easy for anyone, but I just don't know how much more I can take of this. If we had moved, at least the pain would have been worth it, since something good would have come out of all that pain inducing work. Now nothing except cleaning everything and unpacking. When will my mother start acting like an adult and thinking about the possible future outcomes because of her actions. Probably never.
> 
> Life's really sucking right now and I'm trying to keep it together without going totally ballistic. I feel like crying, but I just can't. It just won't come out.
> 
> Sorry so long...



((((Giant hugs))))


----------



## steely

MizzSnakeBite said:


> IC I'm about to fall apart.
> 
> Two days ago, my mom comes in and says we're just going to "forget it" and not move. I've been emotionally and physically pushed to my limit because of this move, and she just decides these types of things on a whim. It's like she has zero idea what I've put my body through because *she* was the one in the first place that *insisted* we *had* to move.
> 
> My lower back is really screwed up after all the lifting, shoving, packing, etc. The nerves in my lower back are going crazy and I have sciatica now. I'm in agony........excruciating doesn't even describe the degree of pain. I'll start screaming because I'm in so much pain. Walking the three feet to the bathroom feels like it's miles. I can barely lift my legs to walk because of my back.
> 
> I'm afraid I'm going to really hurt myself because I keep tripping since I can hardly lift my feet. I sorta have to shuffle, stop, take hold of my pants, then hold my leg up enough so I can lift my foot up (if that makes any sense), then stop and do the entire thing over again and again until I get to where I need to go. Sitting is torture, standing is torture, lying down is often torture. Then, of course, I have all the other crap going on that goes on with my pain disorder that I have to deal with.
> 
> I keep stretching slooooooooooooooowly to try to relax my muscles, but that really isn't helping hardly at all. I can't take Advil or any of the other related OTCs. I took a hot bath with Epsom Salts and that hardly helped too..plus I almost couldn't get into the tub and out of the tub because of my back and all the tightness in my back and legs. I don't know what else to do...... I'm on a Rx pain med, but it isn't even touching this pain.......
> 
> The first appointment I can get with my pain doctor is for next Wednesday......and I don't even see the point of going except to get refills on my usual prescriptions. She won't do a thing. She's told me she won't do anything (injections, procedures, etc) until I lose weight. I'm berated and pretty much humiliated the entire time I'm there because of my weight. I know I've gained since I was last there, and she'll be all over me for that.... She's threatened me that she'll drop me as a patient for "non-compliance" because I'm not losing weight. This is a woman that told me on my very first visit that she needs to lose 50lbs, but can't get it off and still can't.....and she has no health issues to deal with...... But god forbid if I don't drop weight. She's all into punishing a patient if they don't obey every command.
> 
> My entire life I was treated substandard by family and people in general because of my size. I finally started working on getting some self-esteem built up and realizing that I'm still worthwhile regardless of my size, but she's shattered all of that by all the terrible and nasty comments she's made to me.....that any fat woman that thinks she's pretty is delusional, that if your fat you can't find a good man, that as you lose weight, you will get a better and better quality of man, on and on....... I hate her. Because I'm on Medicaid and pain management isn't a huge field to begin with, I'm stuck. If I could go to someone else, I would.
> 
> I'm so sick of everything being so difficult. I know life isn't easy for anyone, but I just don't know how much more I can take of this. If we had moved, at least the pain would have been worth it, since something good would have come out of all that pain inducing work. Now nothing except cleaning everything and unpacking. When will my mother start acting like an adult and thinking about the possible future outcomes because of her actions. Probably never.
> 
> Life's really sucking right now and I'm trying to keep it together without going totally ballistic. I feel like crying, but I just can't. It just won't come out.
> 
> Sorry so long...



Oh dear, I'm so sorry that you are in pain, both physically and emotionally. I wish so much that there was something I could say or do to help. Just know that we will listen and try our best to comfort you. I know it's hard but we do care about you and your struggles. My heart goes out to you, completely. Big Hugs to you, it's far but I mean them so much. You talk as long and as much as you need to, we are here to listen and help.


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC I really don't want to go for another pap test tomorrow. It's not my fault they didn't get enough of a sample. I'm fighting the urge to call the doctors office and cancel the appointment. 

Damn, being a responsible adult sucks sometimes.


----------



## Crystal

luscious_lulu said:


> IC I really don't want to go for another pap test tomorrow. It's not my fault they didn't get enough of a sample. I'm fighting the urge to call the doctors office and cancel the appointment.
> 
> Damn, being a responsible adult sucks sometimes.



Ugh, Amen. 

According to my PCP, now that I'm sexually active (for real, this time), I have to begin getting at least a semi-regular pap test. I've had one before (unrelated issues) and it was not a fun experience.

...I'm not looking forward to this. Then again, the benefits outweigh the uncomfortable feeling, I guess.

*hugs* for you. Hope it isn't too bad.


----------



## littlefairywren

luscious_lulu said:


> IC I really don't want to go for another pap test tomorrow. It's not my fault they didn't get enough of a sample. I'm fighting the urge to call the doctors office and cancel the appointment.
> 
> Damn, being a responsible adult sucks sometimes.



You know what I do, when I have to go for my pap exams (which I also dread)?
I make an appointment for something afterwards that is a way of pampering myself....manicure or coffee with a girlfriend. That way I feel like I am rewarding myself for having to go through it, and I can think happy thoughts during 

Hope it is over before you know it lulu!!


----------



## luscious_lulu

Thanks Crystal and LFW.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

StarWitness said:


> My best friend's dad is undergoing open heart surgery this afternoon, and there's a good chance that he won't survive. Even if he makes it through, he has other very serious health problems.
> 
> IC that besides going home for the funeral, I don't know how to be a good friend to her when her dad dies. I don't know what to say or do. I'm a five hour drive from her, and neither of us can afford the time off from work for an extended visit. She doesn't have the best relationship with her mom or her sister, so I want to be there for her if she needs the support and I hate feeling like I'm no better for her than they are.



Just being by her side will be enough.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

DameQ said:


> Dear Mizz! I'm so sorry that you've been put through all this useless, agonizing effort. I wish there were some way I could help. And the least that doctor deserves is to lose her license for being a quack sadist!
> 
> {{{{{{{{MizzSnakeBite}}}}}}}}





littlefairywren said:


> I know I can't do anything to make you feel any better about your situation Devi, except to say I am thinking of you and sending you are very big virtual (((HUG))) my dear friend :happy:





luscious_lulu said:


> ((((Giant hugs))))





steely said:


> Oh dear, I'm so sorry that you are in pain, both physically and emotionally. I wish so much that there was something I could say or do to help. Just know that we will listen and try our best to comfort you. I know it's hard but we do care about you and your struggles. My heart goes out to you, completely. Big Hugs to you, it's far but I mean them so much. You talk as long and as much as you need to, we are here to listen and help.



Thanks gals


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> IC I really don't want to go for another pap test tomorrow. It's not my fault they didn't get enough of a sample. I'm fighting the urge to call the doctors office and cancel the appointment.
> 
> Damn, being a responsible adult sucks sometimes.



I hope it goes well and they get enough cells.


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC 

So, I rebooked my appointment for next week. I know I shouldn't have, but after spending the morning at the Lupus clinic, going for blood tests and xrays, the last thing I wanted to do was go get a pap.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> IC
> 
> So, I rebooked my appointment for next week. I know I shouldn't have, but after spending the morning at the Lupus clinic, going for blood tests and xrays, the last thing I wanted to do was go get a pap.



I hear ya girlie. Next week's going to be a fun filled week of lab work and doctors appointments. WooHoo.


----------



## mossystate

Devi...I hope you catch a break......soon...very soon.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mossystate said:


> Devi...I hope you catch a break......soon...very soon.



Thanks.......I hope so too....


----------



## Keb

IC I would just like, once in my life, to own comfortable, feminine shoes in my size. The problem is that my size is virtually nonexistent in women's shoes--it's too wide, and even on the large side for men. I'm seriously considering learning to be a cobbler just so I can have something that fits.


----------



## olwen

Keb said:


> IC I would just like, once in my life, to own comfortable, feminine shoes in my size. The problem is that my size is virtually nonexistent in women's shoes--it's too wide, and even on the large side for men. I'm seriously considering learning to be a cobbler just so I can have something that fits.



Keb I totally feel you on that one. Shoes frustrate me.


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that sometimes I wish my dream world were real!


----------



## littlefairywren

IC that my mood is very low...feeling lost and in a slump. I hate it


----------



## luscious_lulu

littlefairywren said:


> IC that my mood is very low...feeling lost and in a slump. I hate it



(((Hugs)))


----------



## mergirl

luscious_lulu said:


> IC I really don't want to go for another pap test tomorrow. It's not my fault they didn't get enough of a sample. I'm fighting the urge to call the doctors office and cancel the appointment.
> 
> Damn, being a responsible adult sucks sometimes.


oh gah.. yeah.. i need to go back to get another pap smear in feb as my last one was abnormal.. I'm a wee bit freaked out, especially as i have been cramping and i also bleed sometimes between periods. I have cells that go the wrong way or something..which kinna explains that.. though.
IC-Its sort of fucked up but the biggest reason i hope i dont have cancer is because i dont want to put my gf through that as she lost her mum to the disease. I am so afraid of what she would go through that i think if i did get a positive result i'm not sure i would tell her. which is fucked up i know. 
gah! anyway.. even if i do have dodgy cells.. i can just get a 'cop....scopy' (whatever it is) to blast the fuckers to kingdom come! 
I'm sure it will all be fine.. but i'm a wee bit nervous..


----------



## littlefairywren

luscious_lulu said:


> (((Hugs)))



Thank you lulu :wubu:


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

littlefairywren said:


> IC that my mood is very low...feeling lost and in a slump. I hate it




Sorry hon...Hugsss..Best way to get out of a slump is change of scenery for 1 day..I love Aussie museums and while I was there I went to 1 in every town we went to that had 1.....I loved look at the different painting and pottery from all the different towns..One of the best things I ever did!..


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Hugsss to you all..I am sorry each of you is hurting..Wish there was something I could do to take the pain!



IC I am sick of cold weather..I am sick of the snow and sick of having to be inside all the time..I hate winter....


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that I often mis-judge my size and when I think I can easily navigate through a door or around dining chairs at a restaurant or fit in a booth, I end up brushing the sides/chairs or end up being uncomfortably squeezed in a booth for the duration of the meal. I really hate that!


----------



## littlefairywren

BubbleButtBabe said:


> Sorry hon...Hugsss..Best way to get out of a slump is change of scenery for 1 day..I love Aussie museums and while I was there I went to 1 in every town we went to that had 1.....I loved look at the different painting and pottery from all the different towns..One of the best things I ever did!..



I :wubu: Bubble!!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> IC that my mood is very low...feeling lost and in a slump. I hate it



I'm so sorry  . I wish there was something I could do.......oh I know, send you on an errand to find a boat 

Hugs,
Devi


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> I'm so sorry  . I wish there was something I could do.......oh I know, send you on an errand to find a boat
> 
> Hugs,
> Devi



Thanks hon!

Hmmm, that boat :happy:
Hey did you know there is a new one.....and this one is BEAUTIFUL!!!! Just wanna club him over the head like a cave woman


----------



## Famouslastwords

littlefairywren said:


> Thanks hon!
> 
> Hmmm, that boat :happy:
> Hey did you know there is a new one.....and this one is BEAUTIFUL!!!! Just wanna club him over the head like a cave woman




Is this the one you PM'd me about?


----------



## littlefairywren

Famouslastwords said:


> Is this the one you PM'd me about?



Yup!! That's the one.


----------



## Ruffie

StarWitness said:


> My best friend's dad is undergoing open heart surgery this afternoon, and there's a good chance that he won't survive. Even if he makes it through, he has other very serious health problems.
> 
> IC that besides going home for the funeral, I don't know how to be a good friend to her when her dad dies. I don't know what to say or do. I'm a five hour drive from her, and neither of us can afford the time off from work for an extended visit. She doesn't have the best relationship with her mom or her sister, so I want to be there for her if she needs the support and I hate feeling like I'm no better for her than they are.



Most people just want someone to be there for them. Just hold her when she needs to cry, listen to her when she needs to talk, call and check up on her in a couple of weeks after the funeral(most people quit contacting you after this point). My aunt who I was very close to but lived far away, helped me through the death of my father by calling me several times a week. She could talk to me about her losing battle with cancer and I about grieving for dad. I lost her 4 months after dad, but will never forget those talks, they meant the world to me and I am sure they will to your friend as well. You are an awesome friend for thinking of what she will need and she is lucky to have you!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> Thanks hon!
> 
> Hmmm, that boat :happy:
> Hey did you know there is a new one.....and this one is BEAUTIFUL!!!! Just wanna club him over the head like a cave woman





Famouslastwords said:


> Is this the one you PM'd me about?





littlefairywren said:


> Yup!! That's the one.



WHAT, WHAT!! WHO, WHO!! I NEED pics!!!! Naked preferred, but I'll take semi-nude ones too!  You know where to find me (in the gutter lmcco)!


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> WHAT, WHAT!! WHO, WHO!! I NEED pics!!!! Naked preferred, but I'll take semi-nude ones too!  You know where to find me (in the gutter lmcco)!



Just sent you a pm!!


----------



## olwen

Punkin1024 said:


> IC that sometimes I wish my dream world were real!



If your dreams are that good, then sign me up. 



Punkin1024 said:


> IC that I often mis-judge my size and when I think I can easily navigate through a door or around dining chairs at a restaurant or fit in a booth, I end up brushing the sides/chairs or end up being uncomfortably squeezed in a booth for the duration of the meal. I really hate that!



I hereby declare restaurant booths to be the enemies of fatties everywhere. LOL I like the booths where the tables aren't bolted to the floor cause then I can push them out. Check for floor bolts.



BubbleButtBabe said:


> Hugsss to you all..I am sorry each of you is hurting..Wish there was something I could do to take the pain!
> 
> 
> 
> IC I am sick of cold weather..I am sick of the snow and sick of having to be inside all the time..I hate winter....



I hate winter too. When the temperature drops below freezing I'm loathe to go outside.


----------



## AuntHen

IC that sometimes people don't understand things they should and I don't understand why they don't understand!! Fukitol!! Ok, I am done.


----------



## Famouslastwords

MizzSnakeBite said:


> WHAT, WHAT!! WHO, WHO!! I NEED pics!!!! Naked preferred, but I'll take semi-nude ones too!  You know where to find me (in the gutter lmcco)!




Oh God, get out of the gutter with your cc! Who knows what the bobbys (or shall we say coppers) will do if they find you in there laughing like a drunkard!

I C that.....LFW needs to......

Lie to me say you were wrong
Like you have too many times
And I'll believe it's not my fault
Like i have too much time

So hear me now boy
Stay alive 'cause that's the way it should go
*Would your maker have opened your eyes
If he'd preferred them closed?*
To feel the weight of summers lost
I'd love to have you here
And all the times we've ever crossed
It was just to keep you here

To try to be something you are not
Like i have for you and promised too
I know we'll get through this and won't
Let you do it, so stop!
And make believe that i'm not wrong
'cause if i was
We'd all be gone!

Nights without end seem to bleed into days
Try to forget that it turned out this way
I wear the mark of the permanent stain
Not accidentally, i cursed god's good name
I am still mortified yet believed in a way
That when my days are done
We'll be in the same plane

With winters mean brimstone i set sail for Euphrates
All I can say is it's a god damned shame
Just to feel the pain of summer's loss i'd love to have new years
And all the times i've missed my loss
It's just to keep you
Just to keep you
Here with me

No really, that song makes me think about my ex every time...and I feel sad.


----------



## LovelyLiz

littlefairywren said:


> IC that my mood is very low...feeling lost and in a slump. I hate it



So sorry LFW  I hope you have found some encouragement over the past few days since you posted this. {{{HUGS}}}


----------



## littlefairywren

Famouslastwords said:


> Oh God, get out of the gutter with your cc! Who knows what the bobbys (or shall we say coppers) will do if they find you in there laughing like a drunkard!
> 
> I C that.....LFW needs to......
> 
> Lie to me say you were wrong
> Like you have too many times
> And I'll believe it's not my fault
> Like i have too much time
> 
> So hear me now boy
> Stay alive 'cause that's the way it should go
> *Would your maker have opened your eyes
> If he'd preferred them closed?*
> To feel the weight of summers lost
> I'd love to have you here
> And all the times we've ever crossed
> It was just to keep you here
> 
> To try to be something you are not
> Like i have for you and promised too
> I know we'll get through this and won't
> Let you do it, so stop!
> And make believe that i'm not wrong
> 'cause if i was
> We'd all be gone!
> 
> Nights without end seem to bleed into days
> Try to forget that it turned out this way
> I wear the mark of the permanent stain
> Not accidentally, i cursed god's good name
> I am still mortified yet believed in a way
> That when my days are done
> We'll be in the same plane
> 
> With winters mean brimstone i set sail for Euphrates
> All I can say is it's a god damned shame
> Just to feel the pain of summer's loss i'd love to have new years
> And all the times i've missed my loss
> It's just to keep you
> Just to keep you
> Here with me
> 
> No really, that song makes me think about my ex every time...and I feel sad.



Ok I am puzzled daughter, by your message here....
But please don't be sad (((hugs)))


----------



## littlefairywren

mcbeth said:


> So sorry LFW  I hope you have found some encouragement over the past few days since you posted this. {{{HUGS}}}



Thank you mcbeth!


----------



## Famouslastwords

littlefairywren said:


> Ok I am puzzled daughter, by your message here....
> But please don't be sad (((hugs)))




I'm singing to you, and it just happened to be the song on my ipod. Admit it's better than the song I'd sing to the American Idol judges!


----------



## littlefairywren

Famouslastwords said:


> I'm singing to you, and it just happened to be the song on my ipod. Admit it's better than the song I'd sing to the American Idol judges!



So I just listened to your American Idol song....I don't know if I can make up my mind *lol*

But I would pay to hear you sing that on stage, just to see Simon's face


----------



## Famouslastwords

littlefairywren said:


> So I just listened to your American Idol song....I don't know if I can make up my mind *lol*
> 
> But I would pay to hear you sing that on stage, just to see Simon's face



If I live close to an American Idol tryout next year and I'm not so fat that I can actually stand in the long line and wait all day, I will go and sing that for you.... and then it will be a youtube sensation....


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

I am so sick of winter! We do not have a cold winter,we have very mild winters..Temps in the mid 50's and none of this below 30 for over a week..<shivers>

IC I wish I was having more hot flashes! I am tired of being cold so much!


----------



## luscious_lulu

BubbleButtBabe said:


> I am so sick of winter! We do not have a cold winter,we have very mild winters..Temps in the mid 50's and none of this below 30 for over a week..<shivers>
> 
> IC I wish I was having more hot flashes! I am tired of being cold so much!



You can have my hot flashes! Pretty please???


----------



## Punkin1024

IC I wish my "skinny" friends and family understood how I feel about my size.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Two of my daughters keep fighting with each other. I'm at my wit's end.....:blink:


----------



## Inhibited

ic i thought it would be a good idea to cut my own hair, am regretting it BIG time......:doh:


----------



## littlefairywren

Inhibited said:


> ic i thought it would be a good idea to cut my own hair, am regretting it BIG time......:doh:



Uh oh, how short did you go? 
I bet it looks just fine!


----------



## Inhibited

littlefairywren said:


> Uh oh, how short did you go?
> I bet it looks just fine!



lol umm its like the school girl fringe, you know when you were young and your mum used sticky tape to help her cut straight well we know that doesn't work................ I kept cutting to try and get it straight... oh well it will grow back....


----------



## Sweet Tooth

IC I'm not going to look a snow day gift horse in the mouth, but.... I think it would be greatly improved by waking up all cozy and languid with someone other than my cat. :\ Well, not just the cuddling, but the making breakfast together, going out to shovel together until we were so cold that we had to go inside and warm each other up... you guys know the idea.


----------



## steely

Punkin1024 said:


> IC I wish my "skinny" friends and family understood how I feel about my size.



*Hugs*
I know how you feel, I wish I could offer you more but I do understand.


----------



## Tania

So I have two dates this weekend. LOL.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Tania said:


> So I have two dates this weekend. LOL.



SWEET! Go get it, girl.  (And then post about it in this thread!)


----------



## littlefairywren

Tania said:


> So I have two dates this weekend. LOL.



Woot! Good luck....and yes we definitely want to hear how they go


----------



## steely

Tania said:


> So I have two dates this weekend. LOL.



Have a good time, fingers crossed for you. :happy:


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tania said:


> So I have two dates this weekend. LOL.



I'm crossing everything that they both go well!


----------



## Tania

Thank you, my gallies. I will update you all, here and in Beth's thread (yayyy I am an example of spamful behavior haha).


----------



## JerseyGirl07093

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Two of my daughters keep fighting with each other. I'm at my wit's end.....:blink:



If you ever figure out a solution to this problem let us know. My kids still fight with each other and they're 17 & 21. So far the only solution I've come up with is to try my best to stop them fighting and bide my time til they move out!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

JerseyGirl07093 said:


> If you ever figure out a solution to this problem let us know. My kids still fight with each other and they're 17 & 21. So far the only solution I've come up with is to try my best to stop them fighting and bide my time til they move out!



There's always rope and bungee cords 








j/k if anyone took that seriously


----------



## Dmitra

I'm feeling more hurt than I thought I might be about not getting even as much of a fuck off response to a PM I sent here but still thinking the guy is a decent sort.


----------



## littlefairywren

DameQ said:


> I'm feeling more hurt than I thought I might be about not getting even as much of a fuck off response to a PM I sent here but still thinking the guy is a decent sort.



(((Hugs))) DameQ


----------



## LovelyLiz

DameQ said:


> I'm feeling more hurt than I thought I might be about not getting even as much of a fuck off response to a PM I sent here but still thinking the guy is a decent sort.



Awwww...sorry DameQ. I've been there! {{HUGS}}


----------



## Dmitra

Thanks, littlefairywren and mcbeth. Muchly appreciated.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

DameQ said:


> I'm feeling more hurt than I thought I might be about not getting even as much of a fuck off response to a PM I sent here but still thinking the guy is a decent sort.



Hugs to you!!!!


----------



## steely

DameQ said:


> I'm feeling more hurt than I thought I might be about not getting even as much of a fuck off response to a PM I sent here but still thinking the guy is a decent sort.



I'm so sorry. Hugs to you.


----------



## LovelyLiz

DameQ said:


> Thanks, littlefairywren and mcbeth. Muchly appreciated.



Also, who was he? Want us to kick his ass? j/k


----------



## Tau

I confess that tonight i want to go out looking fabulous and not have to think once,twice or 5 million times about wether or not I'll be able to cope with the sniggers, the staring, the laughing, the scorn. I confess that I've chosen not to wear an outfit because of the reactions it always gets and i confess that when I changed out of it I felt like a coward  Is it wrong to want a day where my fat body adorned in what I love is not a spectacle? *wallows in self-pity*


----------



## Tau

littlefairywren said:


> IC that my mood is very low...feeling lost and in a slump. I hate it



*hugz you* Hope you feeling better chick?


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Tau said:


> I confess that tonight i want to go out looking fabulous and not have to think once,twice or 5 million times about wether or not I'll be able to cope with the sniggers, the staring, the laughing, the scorn. I confess that I've chosen not to wear an outfit because of the reactions it always gets and i confess that when I changed out of it I felt like a coward  Is it wrong to want a day where my fat body adorned in what I love is not a spectacle? *wallows in self-pity*



I have had issues like that with some of my clothes- feeling like a coward for not wearing a particular thing. No one made fun of me but the bottom line is- if it makes me feel self-conscious rather than good/attractive....why should I wear it?
I have nothing to prove- neither do you


----------



## luscious_lulu

Tau said:


> I confess that tonight i want to go out looking fabulous and not have to think once,twice or 5 million times about wether or not I'll be able to cope with the sniggers, the staring, the laughing, the scorn. I confess that I've chosen not to wear an outfit because of the reactions it always gets and i confess that when I changed out of it I felt like a coward  Is it wrong to want a day where my fat body adorned in what I love is not a spectacle? *wallows in self-pity*



You are a stunningly beautiful woman. Never forget it.


----------



## littlefairywren

Tau said:


> *hugz you* Hope you feeling better chick?



Thank you lovely!! :happy:

I agree with the girls, you're gorgeous Tau. Don't ever let anyone make you think otherwise!


----------



## Dmitra

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Hugs to you!!!!



Thanks, Mizz!



steely said:


> I'm so sorry. Hugs to you.



Thank you, steely!



mcbeth said:


> Also, who was he? Want us to kick his ass? j/k



Thanks for that, too, mcbeth! I don't want to say because he's already lost big time by not getting to know me better, even just as friends. (That's the right attitude, right? ha!)

Again, thank you all and many *hugs* in return. Sorry I didn't reply sooner but my connection was being horrible.


----------



## littlefairywren

DameQ said:


> Thanks for that, too, mcbeth! I don't want to say because he's already lost big time by not getting to know me better, even just as friends. (That's the right attitude, right? ha!)



That's the spirit! 
Pooh on him! It is his loss.


----------



## LovelyLiz

littlefairywren said:


> That's the spirit!
> Pooh on him! It is his loss.



I agree! I was just kidding about you naming him and us kicking his ass - it just always makes me feel better when someone has hurt me, and my friends offer to beat him up  But your attitude rocks.


----------



## Tania

First date down (and successful, I think!), one to go.


----------



## steely

Tania said:


> First date down (and successful, I think!), one to go.



Yay!!!!


----------



## Tau

Tania said:


> First date down (and successful, I think!), one to go.



Yay you!!


----------



## Tau

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I have had issues like that with some of my clothes- feeling like a coward for not wearing a particular thing. No one made fun of me but the bottom line is- if it makes me feel self-conscious rather than good/attractive....why should I wear it?
> I have nothing to prove- neither do you



So right GEF - thats exactly what i thought - i have nothing to prove. My image is my own, anybody who doesn't like what they see can stop looking! Thats when I changed back into the skanky outfit and had a blast 

@LFW and LLL - thank you ladies *HUGZ*


----------



## steely

Tau said:


> So right GEF - thats exactly what i thought - i have nothing to prove. My image is my own, anybody who doesn't like what they see can stop looking! Thats when I changed back into the skanky outfit and had a blast
> 
> @LFW and LLL - thank you ladies *HUGZ*



I'm so glad to read this, you are a fiercely beautiful woman! We won't let you forget it!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Tau said:


> So right GEF - thats exactly what i thought - i have nothing to prove. My image is my own, anybody who doesn't like what they see can stop looking! Thats when I changed back into the skanky outfit and had a blast



I repped the heck out of her for this  :bow:


----------



## nettie

Tau said:


> So right GEF - thats exactly what i thought - i have nothing to prove. My image is my own, anybody who doesn't like what they see can stop looking! Thats when I changed back into the skanky outfit and had a blast



Yes!!!!!
:bow::bow::bow:


----------



## olwen

Tau said:


> So right GEF - thats exactly what i thought - i have nothing to prove. My image is my own, anybody who doesn't like what they see can stop looking! Thats when I changed back into the skanky outfit and had a blast
> 
> @LFW and LLL - thank you ladies *HUGZ*



Good for you Tau. Heck, every time my mother sees me in a tank top she asks me to cover my arms. Every. Time. I just roll my eyes at her and tell her my arms are fine and that I'm not gonna walk around uncomfortable and hot just to make her feel better. Screw all that. I wanna be cool in the summertime. I wish it was summer now dammit. LOL


----------



## steely

I confess that I really don't like this day very much this year...
:really sad:


----------



## littlefairywren

steely said:


> I confess that I really don't like this day very much this year...
> :really sad:



Big soft (((hugs))) Amy.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Tau said:


> So right GEF - thats exactly what i thought - i have nothing to prove. My image is my own, anybody who doesn't like what they see can stop looking! Thats when I changed back into the skanky outfit and had a blast
> 
> @LFW and LLL - thank you ladies *HUGZ*



Yay for skanky outfits! 

I'm glad you took the chance!


----------



## calauria

Tau said:


> So right GEF - thats exactly what i thought - i have nothing to prove. My image is my own, anybody who doesn't like what they see can stop looking! Thats when I changed back into the skanky outfit and had a blast
> 
> @LFW and LLL - thank you ladies *HUGZ*



YAY!!! Glad you decided to strut your stuff!!!:wubu:


----------



## LovelyLiz

steely said:


> I confess that I really don't like this day very much this year...
> :really sad:



 So sorry, Steely. Sending many good thoughts and warm, comforting vibes your way.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

steely said:


> I confess that I really don't like this day very much this year...
> :really sad:



* {{{{{{{{{{ AMY }}}}}}}}}}*


----------



## olwen

steely said:


> I confess that I really don't like this day very much this year...
> :really sad:



Awww, sorry Steely. Keep on keepin on. Hugs.


----------



## Tania

IC that I don't feel so confident or spry today.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

View attachment V-DAY SCRABBLE 2 1-20-09wresz.jpg


View attachment V-DAY SCRABBLE 6 1-20-09wresz2.jpg


----------



## Tania

Haha! That's awesome. 

Birdy is a heartbreaker!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tau said:


> So right GEF - thats exactly what i thought - i have nothing to prove. My image is my own, anybody who doesn't like what they see can stop looking! Thats when I changed back into the skanky outfit and had a blast
> 
> @LFW and LLL - thank you ladies *HUGZ*



Way to go! :bow: You're gorgeous!



steely said:


> I confess that I really don't like this day very much this year...
> :really sad:



((((((((((AMY)))))))))) 

P.S. Scrabbie sent you some v-day pics to cheer you up a bit 



Tania said:


> IC that I don't feel so confident or spry today.



Hope you start feeling more like yourself 



Tania said:


> Haha! That's awesome.
> 
> Birdy is a heartbreaker!



He certainly is! The ladies love him!  He's such a flirt too lol.


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> View attachment 76533
> 
> 
> View attachment 76534



Squeee, look at him.....soooo cute. I :wubu: your birdies.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> Squeee, look at him.....soooo cute. I :wubu: your birdies.



He's just the bee's knees :happy: Makes everything better!


----------



## steely

MizzSnakeBite said:


> View attachment 76533
> 
> 
> View attachment 76534



Just the trick! Another smile from me.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

steely said:


> Just the trick! Another smile from me.



Yea!! If you were here he'd give you kisses to make it all better! :happy: He is The ladies man after all


----------



## Tau

steely said:


> I confess that I really don't like this day very much this year...
> :really sad:



Oh hugz babes - big, big hugz


----------



## Aust99

IC I regret not doing what I wanted to do on Friday night....


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC that I've been having nightmares lately. Last night was particularly bad. I had to sleep with the light on because I kept waking up in a panic.


----------



## Aust99

Wow... sorry to hear that Lulu... Hope they settle down.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Thanks Aust. I'm going to "cleanse" the space with sage to try and help.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Aust99 said:


> IC I regret not doing what I wanted to do on Friday night....



Well, there's always tomorrow.......whatever that means 



luscious_lulu said:


> IC that I've been having nightmares lately. Last night was particularly bad. I had to sleep with the light on because I kept waking up in a panic.



Big hugs to you! I hope they move on along quickly!!


----------



## Ruffie

luscious_lulu said:


> Thanks Aust. I'm going to "cleanse" the space with sage to try and help.



If you have cedar as well you can use it in combination with the sage or if only have fresh Cedar around can place it over windows and doorways and that might help too.


----------



## Ruffie

luscious_lulu said:


> Thanks Aust. I'm going to "cleanse" the space with sage to try and help.



If you have cedar as well you can use it in combination with the sage or if only have fresh Cedar around can place it over windows and doorways and that might help too.


----------



## steely

Tau said:


> Oh hugz babes - big, big hugz





MizzSnakeBite said:


> Yea!! If you were here he'd give you kisses to make it all better! :happy: He is The ladies man after all





olwen said:


> Awww, sorry Steely. Keep on keepin on. Hugs.



Thanks everyone! Tomorrow is another day, which is today. LOL! I confess I need some sleep. :blink:


----------



## steely

luscious_lulu said:


> IC that I've been having nightmares lately. Last night was particularly bad. I had to sleep with the light on because I kept waking up in a panic.



Hope those bad dreams go away soon, dear. It's horrible to wake up in the night like that.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Ruffie said:


> If you have cedar as well you can use it in combination with the sage or if only have fresh Cedar around can place it over windows and doorways and that might help too.



Thanks Ruffie! I'm going to try that!


----------



## BarbBBW

I have been gone for awhile from Dims, and I have to confess I missed it alot. I miss the constant support that the fellow members of Dims showed. Life is so much harder without them. It's sad, no matter how many BBW there are in the world, they are still not accepted by society. Anyways, I just wanted to say "thank you " to all the Dims members. You really do make a difference in peoples lives!


----------



## steely

mcbeth said:


> So sorry, Steely. Sending many good thoughts and warm, comforting vibes your way.





OneWickedAngel said:


> * {{{{{{{{{{ AMY }}}}}}}}}}*



I missed you two! Thanks for the thoughts and hugs, today has been a better day.


----------



## luscious_lulu

BarbBBW said:


> I have been gone for awhile from Dims, and I have to confess I missed it alot. I miss the constant support that the fellow members of Dims showed. Life is so much harder without them. It's sad, no matter how many BBW there are in the world, they are still not accepted by society. Anyways, I just wanted to say "thank you " to all the Dims members. You really do make a difference in peoples lives!



Welcome back! I missed you!


----------



## BarbBBW

luscious_lulu said:


> Welcome back! I missed you!



aww thanks girlie! I missed you too


----------



## Pharadox

IC that I have been on a dark chocolate binge for about three days. <3


----------



## Punkin1024

Welcome back BarbBBW! 

I confess that I've about gone crazy since Friday evening because our internet connection was down! We only got the technicians out to fix the antennae (that's what was causing the problem) today (Monday). It took them from 11:00 a.m. until around 5:00 p.m. to get everything replaced and in working order. Meanwhile, I got all caught up on ALL my recorded t.v. shows and movies. Other than that, I nursed sinus attacks all weekend long. Sigh! It took me all evening to get almost caught up on Facebook, but I had to pop in here for a moment to let you all know why I hadn't been around for almost 4 days! I'm off to bed now!


----------



## littlefairywren

luscious_lulu said:


> IC that I've been having nightmares lately. Last night was particularly bad. I had to sleep with the light on because I kept waking up in a panic.



Hope you can get rid of those nightmares lulu! I would love to know how the cleansing goes.


----------



## Tau

BarbBBW said:


> I have been gone for awhile from Dims, and I have to confess I missed it alot. I miss the constant support that the fellow members of Dims showed. Life is so much harder without them. It's sad, no matter how many BBW there are in the world, they are still not accepted by society. Anyways, I just wanted to say "thank you " to all the Dims members. You really do make a difference in peoples lives!



Welcome back chick!!!


----------



## Tau

luscious_lulu said:


> IC that I've been having nightmares lately. Last night was particularly bad. I had to sleep with the light on because I kept waking up in a panic.



Sorry babes. Nightmares suck. A sprinkling of holy water always helps me too. And not to get all superstitiony but when we were small and had really vicious nightmares my gran would line our doors and windows with salt. Probably all in our heads at the time but it helped. I think its just about finding the rituals that put you at ease.


----------



## steely

Punkin1024 said:


> Welcome back BarbBBW!
> 
> I confess that I've about gone crazy since Friday evening because our internet connection was down! We only got the technicians out to fix the antennae (that's what was causing the problem) today (Monday). It took them from 11:00 a.m. until around 5:00 p.m. to get everything replaced and in working order. Meanwhile, I got all caught up on ALL my recorded t.v. shows and movies. Other than that, I nursed sinus attacks all weekend long. Sigh! It took me all evening to get almost caught up on Facebook, but I had to pop in here for a moment to let you all know why I hadn't been around for almost 4 days! I'm off to bed now!



I have missed you, I was wondering where you had gone. I'm glad you're back with us. It's always nice to see your smiling face. :happy:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

steely said:


> I have missed you, I was wondering where you had gone. I'm glad you're back with us. It's always nice to see your smiling face. :happy:




I'm glad to see you back, as well, Ella. You make this place so much brighter


----------



## BarbBBW

Thank for the welcome back my bubbies!! I have really missed you all so much!!


----------



## Weeze

I only shave my legs a couple times a month. Shhhhhhhhh. I just filled my quota for feb.


----------



## steely

I confess that I really need to stop falling apart in front of people who might potentially hire me.


----------



## Tania

steely said:


> I confess that I really need to stop falling apart in front of people who might potentially hire me.



:'( :* *hugs*


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC I'm happy! In just over a week I get to party with my friends at an event in Toronto. Work is great, busy, but great! NJ Bash is coming up... 

Now I just need to meet an amazing guy! (I'm in a good place for this to happen.)


----------



## littlefairywren

luscious_lulu said:


> IC I'm happy! In just over a week I get to party with my friends at an event in Toronto. Work is great, busy, but great! NJ Bash is coming up...
> 
> Now I just need to meet an amazing guy! (I'm in a good place for this to happen.)



Fingers crossed for that amazing guy, lulu!!


----------



## Punkin1024

Hello all,
I'm just popping by to post a quick note on a few forums. My Mom-in-law (who has Parkinson's) fell and broke her hip this afternoon. We currently do not know how bad a break it was, but she is in surgery at Abilene Regional Hospital right now (9:27 p.m. Texas time). Her husband, my husband and some family friends are at the hospital waiting it out. I'll be on Facebook for the rest of the evening so I can keep family and friends posted on her condition.

Thanks and hugs to all.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Punkin1024 said:


> Hello all,
> I'm just popping by to post a quick note on a few forums. My Mom-in-law (who has Parkinson's) fell and broke her hip this afternoon. We currently do not know how bad a break it was, but she is in surgery at Abilene Regional Hospital right now (9:27 p.m. Texas time). Her husband, my husband and some family friends are at the hospital waiting it out. I'll be on Facebook for the rest of the evening so I can keep family and friends posted on her condition.
> 
> Thanks and hugs to all.



Saying a prayer for your mom-in-law, and for you and the whole family. Hope the surgery goes very, very well!


----------



## littlefairywren

Punkin1024 said:


> Hello all,
> I'm just popping by to post a quick note on a few forums. My Mom-in-law (who has Parkinson's) fell and broke her hip this afternoon. We currently do not know how bad a break it was, but she is in surgery at Abilene Regional Hospital right now (9:27 p.m. Texas time). Her husband, my husband and some family friends are at the hospital waiting it out. I'll be on Facebook for the rest of the evening so I can keep family and friends posted on her condition.
> 
> Thanks and hugs to all.



Sending prayers across the ocean Punkin....hope she is doing ok.


----------



## Punkin1024

Just a quick note of update on my Mom-in-law's condition. Hubby said she did fine in surgery and is now back in her room, still under anesthesia. Anyway, she had a fractured hip and had to also have the ball joint replaced in her right hip. The doctor said she will not be able to walk on that hip ever again, so she'll be in a wheel chair from here on out. She'll be in the hospital for one week and then go to rehab for perhaps another week. Hubby is home now and will go back to visit his Mom after he's through with his part-time job tomorrow. I expect we'll be in and out of the hospital for visits on Saturday and Sunday. Thanks for the prayers. Keep 'em coming that she'll have a speedy recovery.


----------



## Tania

Good thoughts for a quick recovery!


----------



## mossystate

Ella, I really hope she comes out of this physically and emotionally OK. Poor old dear. She sure as hell did not need this. I will send her very good thoughts.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Punkin1024 said:


> Just a quick note of update on my Mom-in-law's condition. Hubby said she did fine in surgery and is now back in her room, still under anesthesia. Anyway, she had a fractured hip and had to also have the ball joint replaced in her right hip. The doctor said she will not be able to walk on that hip ever again, so she'll be in a wheel chair from here on out. She'll be in the hospital for one week and then go to rehab for perhaps another week. Hubby is home now and will go back to visit his Mom after he's through with his part-time job tomorrow. I expect we'll be in and out of the hospital for visits on Saturday and Sunday. Thanks for the prayers. Keep 'em coming that she'll have a speedy recovery.



(((hugs)))


----------



## Ruffie

To everyone having a hard time *hugs*


----------



## steely

I'm so sorry, Ella. I will be keeping you and your family close in my thoughts. Hugs to you.


----------



## Punkin1024

Thanks everyone for the prayers, kind thoughts and well wishes for my Mom-In-Law. Hubby says she looks awful, but that is to be expected all things considered. She was eating well and on pain meds. One of her sons bought her a teddy bear and told her she should squeeze its head when the pain was getting to her. I was surprised she hadn't already squeezed the head off! Since she is still on pain meds and a bit out of it, hubby doesn't think that being in a wheelchair from now on has gotten through to her yet. We'll be heading out to Abilene in the morning to check on her and visit for a while.


----------



## mossystate

Stand back, and in line...you will soon get instructions on what is, and is not, OK to do with your very own body.


----------



## Punkin1024

IC I'm hooked on the "Leverage" series! Hubby and I stayed home, though we had intended to go to Abilene today, both of us are mentally and physically tired. Ended up going back to bed around noon and didn't get up till 2:30 (hubby slept until 3:30). He was on the phone with lots of family, so he didn't feel quite so bad. His brothers are still here and spent the day with their Mom so Dad could come home, clean up and get some rest.


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC that sometimes if I run into a guy (like I did at a party tonight) whose appearance reminds me of one of the FAs that post in this community, I think I subconsciously assume that guy is also an FA, and do a little extra flirting. (It's a totally ridiculous assumption based on nothing substantial. As if all guys that look a certain way dig the fat chicks...lol) But so far it hasn't hurt anything.


----------



## MisticalMisty

I lost my job today. Prayers and well wishes appreciated as I do this whole job hunting bullshit again. *sigh*


----------



## steely

MisticalMisty said:


> I lost my job today. Prayers and well wishes appreciated as I do this whole job hunting bullshit again. *sigh*



I feel for you, it's no fun in the job market right now. I'll keep you in my thoughts. Good luck on the hunt!


----------



## Punkin1024

MisticalMisty said:


> I lost my job today. Prayers and well wishes appreciated as I do this whole job hunting bullshit again. *sigh*



So sorry to hear about this! I'll keep you in my prayers. It is a tough market out there, but you are in Texas, where it is perhaps a bit less daunting a task than in other states.


----------



## olwen

Oh no Misty, that's awful. Good luck finding a new one quick.


----------



## calauria

MisticalMisty said:


> I lost my job today. Prayers and well wishes appreciated as I do this whole job hunting bullshit again. *sigh*



I'm so sorry to here this. I will also keep you in my thoughts.


----------



## littlefairywren

MisticalMisty said:


> I lost my job today. Prayers and well wishes appreciated as I do this whole job hunting bullshit again. *sigh*



Oh Misty, I am so sorry about your job...best wishes for finding a new one hon!


----------



## steely

I confess I let my blood sugar drop to 45 last night. I can never tell when it's dropping until I get the shakes and feel sick. It scares me sometimes, you'd think I would be able to feel it.


----------



## MisticalMisty

Thank you everyone. It wouldn't be such a horrible thing, but that puts both of us out of jobs. *sigh* I really feel that something better will come along...I just hope it comes quickly.


----------



## cinnamitch

Girl, snack before bed, snack before bed. 



steely said:


> I confess I let my blood sugar drop to 45 last night. I can never tell when it's dropping until I get the shakes and feel sick. It scares me sometimes, you'd think I would be able to feel it.


----------



## steely

cinnamitch said:


> Girl, snack before bed, snack before bed.



LOL! I know, it was actually right before I went to bed. I have a tendency to forget to eat now, how very unlike me.


----------



## mossystate

steely said:


> I confess I let my blood sugar drop to 45 last night. I can never tell when it's dropping until I get the shakes and feel sick. It scares me sometimes, you'd think I would be able to feel it.



* wags a finger at you *

It's a lot more fun to do that to someone else, and not at myself.  No more confessions like that!


----------



## steely

mossystate said:


> * wags a finger at you *
> 
> It's a lot more fun to do that to someone else, and not at myself.  No more confessions like that!



Glad to give you a little fun.  I will behave myself and keep better track!


----------



## MisticalMisty

steely said:


> Glad to give you a little fun.  I will behave myself and keep better track!



Oh my gosh chica! Please be careful. Mine has never been that low..but I know when it's high. UGH Thursday can't get here soon enough!


----------



## TheKayDee83

I confess...I am brand spanking new to this site and already I am in love with everyone here!

I confess...I wish I would have found this years ago cause I have some serious body issues and never thought of myself as attractive unless the lights were out.

And finally I confess....My boyfriend of many years and I are moving in together next week and I am scared to death that he will get here and realize he is committing to a fat girl and run away never to be seen again!

Ok. That is all. 

Oh wait, one more. I confess that my boss is a B***h. 

Ok, now I am really done.


----------



## steely

MisticalMisty said:


> Oh my gosh chica! Please be careful. Mine has never been that low..but I know when it's high. UGH Thursday can't get here soon enough!



Thank you dear, when I cut out all the carbs, it stays super low. I just have to quit forgetting to eat. I wish I knew my body that well, I never could tell if it was high or low and I still can't. Thursday is coming, hang in there! I'm thinking about you.


----------



## steely

TheKayDee83 said:


> I confess...I am brand spanking new to this site and already I am in love with everyone here!
> 
> I confess...I wish I would have found this years ago cause I have some serious body issues and never thought of myself as attractive unless the lights were out.
> 
> And finally I confess....My boyfriend of many years and I are moving in together next week and I am scared to death that he will get here and realize he is committing to a fat girl and run away never to be seen again!
> 
> Ok. That is all.
> 
> Oh wait, one more. I confess that my boss is a B***h.
> 
> Ok, now I am really done.



We are certainly glad to have you here! Welcome! :happy:


----------



## DitzyBrunette

TheKayDee83 said:


> I confess...I am brand spanking new to this site and already I am in love with everyone here!
> 
> I confess...I wish I would have found this years ago cause I have some serious body issues and never thought of myself as attractive unless the lights were out.



Welcome =) I feel the same, I wish I had found this site a long time ago but better late than never!


----------



## TheKayDee83

steely said:


> We are certainly glad to have you here! Welcome! :happy:



Thanks! I Look forward to getting to know everyone and sharing my opinions as well as listening to everyone else's.


----------



## TheKayDee83

DitzyBrunette said:


> Welcome =) I feel the same, I wish I had found this site a long time ago but better late than never!



Yeah, seriously. I am very happy that I found it now. Especially at this time in my life. I am really excited about this! I never could even fathom that something like this could exist. This site, in of itself, is liberating in a way I have never known.


----------



## DitzyBrunette

TheKayDee83 said:


> This site, in of itself, is liberating in a way I have never known.



Completely agree. I've always been in BBW groups on MySpace or online or been on a couple of BBW dating sites but never saw the support and camaraderie that I have seen here. I've been on here a year and my opinion of myself has changed drastically. Where before I'd look in a mirror and think Ok, good hair day but maybe these jeans could stop emphasizing my ass so much, or My make up looks great but this shirt is a bit more snug than I'd like.. now I just like what I see. Period. 

I haven't had an IC moment in here in a while so I guess to go with what I wrote above, IC that Saturday night I was getting ready to go out and meet some friends - I kneeled in front of my full length mirror to finish curling my hair and was still wearing undies (boy shorts and a white tank top) and for the first time in a LONG time I thought my hips looked really great, they looked soft and curvy; my thighs and rear are mostly a result of my nationality (Puerto Rican curves!) and they're fuller than most but I thought they looked pretty hot that night. I don't think I'd feel like that had it not been for the fact that over the past year I've seen so many beautiful women on here showing it off and loving their bodies, every single inch. The confidence you feel on the inside always ends up showing on the outside, I got quite a few free drinks that night


----------



## katherine22

I love my body, and finally I have a boyfriend who really loves it tool


----------



## steely

katherine22 said:


> I love my body, and finally I have a boyfriend who really loves it tool



This is so wonderful! I am so happy for you! :happy:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

A young, handsome man brought his daughter to my job this week. I had to help him to do her medical history. I found myself looking anywhere but at him because I didn't want to embarrass myself or let him know I was looking.....
He was polite and is a "hands on" Dad......that part I liked most. 

I confess that, physically, he reminded me of a slightly younger version of that oh-so-bad ex-boyfriend of mine........:doh:


It's not always easy being a cougar....:blush:



katherine22 said:


> I love my body, and finally I have a boyfriend who really loves it tool



Yay Katherine! Is he.....younger? :batting:


----------



## TheKayDee83

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> It's not always easy being a cougar....:blush:
> 
> 
> 
> Yay Katherine! Is he.....younger? :batting:



You are too cute!


----------



## Shala

I confess that I will gain ten pounds before Easter on Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs alone.


----------



## littlefairywren

IC I have NO skills when it comes to hair removal, because I am accident prone. 

Yesterday I decided to use a depilatory cream. Not only did I burn my  because I forgot to watch the time, I also managed to remove a large patch of hair from my left arm lol. NEVER AGAIN!!


----------



## steely

littlefairywren said:


> IC I have NO skills when it comes to hair removal, because I am accident prone.
> 
> Yesterday I decided to use a depilatory cream. Not only did I burn my  because I forgot to watch the time, I also managed to remove a large patch of hair from my left arm lol. NEVER AGAIN!!



Bless your heart, please take care, we really don't want to lose you to depilatory. Just say No! :bow:


----------



## DitzyBrunette

Shala said:


> I confess that I will gain ten pounds before Easter on Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs alone.



Well if you don't want to gain, feel free to send them my way  I love Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs. The day after Easter, I'm the first one at Rite Aid to get a ton of them for 50% off.


----------



## TheKayDee83

DitzyBrunette said:


> Well if you don't want to gain, feel free to send them my way  I love Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs. The day after Easter, I'm the first one at Rite Aid to get a ton of them for 50% off.



OH MY GOSH, my FAVORITE!! Those eggs are poison but SOO delicious!


----------



## DitzyBrunette

TheKayDee83 said:


> OH MY GOSH, my FAVORITE!! Those eggs are poison but SOO delicious!



Word. I seriously spend about 30 bucks on discount pb eggs the day or the week after Easter.


----------



## Famouslastwords

DitzyBrunette said:


> Word. I seriously spend about 30 bucks on discount pb eggs the day or the week after Easter.



A woman after my heart!


----------



## Crystal

IC that I had an entire box of Samoas Girl Scout cookies for breakfast.

...am I ashamed? 

Hell no.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Crystal said:


> IC that I had an entire box of Samoas Girl Scout cookies for breakfast.
> 
> ...am I ashamed?
> 
> Hell no.



Am I jealous and disappointed you didn't share with me? 

Hell yes.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Shala said:


> I confess that I will gain ten pounds before Easter on Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs alone.




I saw those bad eggs in Kmart this morning. They have....bin...after bin...of them.

I walked away......quickly. To browse, touch.....even consider would have been my downfall. 

However....I do want some of those for Easter :batting:


----------



## Famouslastwords

Crystal said:


> IC that I had an entire box of Samoas Girl Scout cookies for breakfast.
> 
> ...am I ashamed?
> 
> Hell no.



Yup, you're dating a feeder!


----------



## Crystal

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Am I jealous and disappointed you didn't share with me?
> 
> Hell yes.



Aww, Greenie, hehe. If you had been here, I would have. I have 5 more boxes. 



Famouslastwords said:


> Yup, you're dating a feeder!



He didn't even know about it until I posted, haha. He's actually gotten away from the feeding thing, for the most part, if you can believe it. 

Oh! And UT stands for "University of Tennessee." I'm a student there.


----------



## nettie

Okay, so I wasn't sure where to post this but I thought the folks I see on this thread would understand. I guess I should also add that I finished my second glass of wine in preparation.

All my life I've been the short, fat girl. The one who couldn't keep up with the other girls in gym class. The one who was made manager of the basketball team instead of getting to play on the team because I wasn't fast enough. The one whose brothers and cousins were the sports stars in school while I was the scholar in the family. There was one moment in 4th grade during the all-school track and field day when I actually passed a couple of other runners in a relay race, and nearly sent all my friends into elementary school strokes because they'd never seen me run so fast. That day, I felt the strength and health in my body. I felt my own "inner athlete."

In my adult life, I've always been active. I swim, walk/hike, play volleyball, but I've never felt that real sense of being an athlete, like I can take on any challenge. Well, 40 years after that relay race and years after rehabbing from being the victim of one drunk driver and one driver on the way to the bar, I found that girl again yesterday! I started hitting the gym pretty regularly after being diagnosed with diabetes last year and since my marriage ended last August my workout has been my therapy. And yesterday, with my head near the ground and my azz up in the air on the exercise ball, I realized I'm physically fit. Strong. In better shape than most people I know.

And I'm fat.

My doctor loves me and never talks about the numbers on the scale. We talk about how long/far I can push myself, how healthy my stats are now, how my stamina is better now than 20 years ago. I do cardio and weight work. I take yoga classes. The two coaches I work with are in awe of my workout routines.

And I'm fat.

So, I just wanted to share that. I will always be a big woman, and I wanted to celebrate the fact that we CAN be fat and healthy.


----------



## nettie

nettie said:


> So, I just wanted to share that. I will always be a big woman, and I wanted to celebrate the fact that we CAN be fat and healthy.



Oh, and my confession is that I'm really digging on myself these days.


----------



## littlefairywren

nettie said:


> Okay, so I wasn't sure where to post this but I thought the folks I see on this thread would understand. I guess I should also add that I finished my second glass of wine in preparation.
> 
> All my life I've been the short, fat girl. The one who couldn't keep up with the other girls in gym class. The one who was made manager of the basketball team instead of getting to play on the team because I wasn't fast enough. The one whose brothers and cousins were the sports stars in school while I was the scholar in the family. There was one moment in 4th grade during the all-school track and field day when I actually passed a couple of other runners in a relay race, and nearly sent all my friends into elementary school strokes because they'd never seen me run so fast. That day, I felt the strength and health in my body. I felt my own "inner athlete."
> 
> In my adult life, I've always been active. I swim, walk/hike, play volleyball, but I've never felt that real sense of being an athlete, like I can take on any challenge. Well, 40 years after that relay race and years after rehabbing from being the victim of one drunk driver and one driver on the way to the bar, I found that girl again yesterday! I started hitting the gym pretty regularly after being diagnosed with diabetes last year and since my marriage ended last August my workout has been my therapy. And yesterday, with my head near the ground and my azz up in the air on the exercise ball, I realized I'm physically fit. Strong. In better shape than most people I know.
> 
> And I'm fat.
> 
> My doctor loves me and never talks about the numbers on the scale. We talk about how long/far I can push myself, how healthy my stats are now, how my stamina is better now than 20 years ago. I do cardio and weight work. I take yoga classes. The two coaches I work with are in awe of my workout routines.
> 
> And I'm fat.
> 
> So, I just wanted to share that. I will always be a big woman, and I wanted to celebrate the fact that we CAN be fat and healthy.





nettie said:


> Oh, and my confession is that I'm really digging on myself these days.



Just wanted to pass on a ((hug)) nettie, your posts really touched me...thank you.


----------



## LovelyLiz

nettie said:


> snipped...
> So, I just wanted to share that. I will always be a big woman, and I wanted to celebrate the fact that we CAN be fat and healthy.



From one short, fat woman to another, let me say - You go girl! You rock.  Thanks for sharing, and keep up the good work.


----------



## steely

nettie said:


> Okay, so I wasn't sure where to post this but I thought the folks I see on this thread would understand. I guess I should also add that I finished my second glass of wine in preparation.
> 
> All my life I've been the short, fat girl. The one who couldn't keep up with the other girls in gym class. The one who was made manager of the basketball team instead of getting to play on the team because I wasn't fast enough. The one whose brothers and cousins were the sports stars in school while I was the scholar in the family. There was one moment in 4th grade during the all-school track and field day when I actually passed a couple of other runners in a relay race, and nearly sent all my friends into elementary school strokes because they'd never seen me run so fast. That day, I felt the strength and health in my body. I felt my own "inner athlete."
> 
> In my adult life, I've always been active. I swim, walk/hike, play volleyball, but I've never felt that real sense of being an athlete, like I can take on any challenge. Well, 40 years after that relay race and years after rehabbing from being the victim of one drunk driver and one driver on the way to the bar, I found that girl again yesterday! I started hitting the gym pretty regularly after being diagnosed with diabetes last year and since my marriage ended last August my workout has been my therapy. And yesterday, with my head near the ground and my azz up in the air on the exercise ball, I realized I'm physically fit. Strong. In better shape than most people I know.
> 
> And I'm fat.
> 
> My doctor loves me and never talks about the numbers on the scale. We talk about how long/far I can push myself, how healthy my stats are now, how my stamina is better now than 20 years ago. I do cardio and weight work. I take yoga classes. The two coaches I work with are in awe of my workout routines.
> 
> And I'm fat.
> 
> So, I just wanted to share that. I will always be a big woman, and I wanted to celebrate the fact that we CAN be fat and healthy.



We are digging on you too, nettie!  :bow:


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that I love Nettie's post and I believe that there seem to be more short, fat women on Dimensions lately. Makes me feel better that I'm not alone.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Hugsss to the ladies that need it..Way to go to the ladies that deserve it..I am here if you need me to the ladies that feel they are alone..Thank you to the ladies that have given me a giggle or two lately...

IC I am having a hard time still in dealing with all of this weather..I am so sick of winter and if I had to live where is snowed all of the time I would go bat shit crazy! Bless your heart if you do..


----------



## mossystate

When I hear whines that fa's are so demonized out here, I will remember the sheer dislike by some that this forum even exists. Let those women who tend to not speak up so much, have this little spot where they can feel at least a little less mocked than they might experience walking down any city street. Pretend one of them wrote this.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mossystate said:


> When I hear whines that fa's are so demonized out here, I will remember the sheer dislike by some that this forum even exists. Let those women who tend to not speak up so much, have this little spot where they can feel at least a little less mocked than they might experience walking down any city street. Pretend one of them wrote this.



gotta spread my rep around 

Consider yourself repped in spirit


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

mossystate said:


> When I hear whines that fa's are so demonized out here, I will remember the sheer dislike by some that this forum even exists. Let those women who tend to not speak up so much, have this little spot where they can feel at least a little less mocked than they might experience walking down any city street. Pretend one of them wrote this.



I totally agree.....it was disrespectful, nasty, uncalled for, offensive, utter bullshit....and just the sort of thing "bullies" would do.......

I have always said....women hold other women back more than any man could.


----------



## lozonloz

IC that when my friend (girl) saw me glancing through these forums over my shoulder and her reaction was "OH God that's so wrong", I thought a little less of her, even though I love her.


----------



## nettie

Thanks everyone for your support and kind words!


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that I need this place so much and I'm a bit confused about everything. Wish I could just jump in my computer and send myself to my friends for a big old hugfest! So, consider yourself hugged.


----------



## crayola box

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I totally agree.....it was disrespectful, nasty, uncalled for, offensive, utter bullshit....and just the sort of thing "bullies" would do.......
> 
> *I have always said....women hold other women back more than any man could*.





mossystate said:


> When I hear whines that fa's are so demonized out here, I will remember the sheer dislike by some that this forum even exists. Let those women who tend to not speak up so much, have this little spot where they can feel at least a little less mocked than they might experience walking down any city street. Pretend one of them wrote this.



I cannot be sure if we are thinking of the same threads of course, but in reading what Mossystate wrote I had the same reaction as GEF. 

I lurked for many years without joining and finally did because there were so many women here whom I came to admire and wanted to get to know and be able to respond to their posts. Lately however I find that many of the women who made me want to join are much less active or have left because they no longer felt welcome but that is the nature of the internet I told myself. (Though I do want to emphasize that there are still many amazing women (and men) here, and that the offensive behavior to which I refer has never been directed at me personally and comes only from observation) What continues to shock me. however, is how some of the women here treat other woman without giving them an ounce of compassion or the slightest benefit of doubt or even basic courtesy and respect. 

I am one of those women you mention who don't speak up much in the more important and substantial threads, instead choosing to post in this forum, and the food and fashion forums. In the beginning this was because some threads garnered such an interesting exchange of opinions that someone said what i wanted to say and said it better, so I didn't have to. But lately its intimidation. I came to not only this forum but all of Dimensions to find that "little spot" and instead I have landed in a strange place where the ground is littered with egg shells and the occasional landmine, so watch where you step. I am not pointing fingers at anyone in particular, because I do not know enough about anyone here to be able to judge, and I truly do appreciate healthy debate and differing opinions but I hate that sometimes it seems like we are trying our darndest to prove as true the stereotype that women are "catty".

I am rambling, I know but basically my intention was to thank the authors of the above quotes for capturing how I feel (rep coming your way), and to basically confess that I am saddened at what's going on all around the boards. I further confess that while I hope to be wrong the frequency of certain occurrences makes me fear that there is a real deep rooted problem as opposed to a bumpy phase or growing pains 

***Mods: if this post is more appropriate for another thread please move.***


----------



## Shosh

IC that I do not feel comfortable posting in this particular forum, and hence I do not often. I cannot put my finger on exactly why I feel this way, it is just how I feel.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

IC that whenever I come to the internet and read what "men really think" or "what men really want" (here or on other sites) I get so damn happy that I'm not married anymore.


----------



## Crystal

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> IC that whenever I come to the internet and read what "men really think" or "what men really want" (here or on other sites) I get so damn happy that I'm not married anymore.



So, I'm only 20 years old, but I keep hearing about how how men "are." Should I just give up now and head to the nunnery?


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Crystal said:


> So, I'm only 20 years old, but I keep hearing about how how men "are." Should I just give up now and head to the nunnery?




Lol, I always assume the younger have to learn things from their own personal experiences  



P.S. Do I strike you as someone posting from a nunnery? :batting:


----------



## Crystal

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Lol, I always assume the younger have to learn things from their own personal experiences
> 
> 
> 
> P.S. Do I strike you as someone posting from a nunnery? :batting:



No, but maybe as someone kicked out of one.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I'm from hell Crystal.....according to some people anyway


----------



## Crystal

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I'm from hell Crystal.....according to some people anyway



You DO have some pretty sexy, fiery red hair.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

IC I was about to confess something...........but I shall confess it at the other place.


----------



## archivaltype

IC that my oatmeal was so overcooked it was like gelatin...but I ate it anyway :eat1:


I also confess that I'm super excited because a cute little marine asked me on a dateeeeeee.  
Aaaand one more....pulled an all nighter and I'm a little hyper right now.


----------



## littlefairywren

archivaltype said:


> IC that my oatmeal was so overcooked it was like gelatin...but I ate it anyway :eat1:
> 
> 
> I also confess that I'm super excited because a cute little marine asked me on a dateeeeeee.
> Aaaand one more....pulled an all nighter and I'm a little hyper right now.



Oooh, good luck with the date....a marine, nice!!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

archivaltype said:


> IC that my oatmeal was so overcooked it was like gelatin...but I ate it anyway :eat1:
> 
> 
> I also confess that I'm super excited because a cute little marine asked me on a dateeeeeee.
> Aaaand one more....pulled an all nighter and I'm a little hyper right now.



Oooooooooooooooo! Nothing like a man in a uniform


----------



## Tau

nettie said:


> Oh, and my confession is that I'm really digging on myself these days.


Oh Yay you!!


----------



## Punkin1024

Just dropping by to give ya'll an update on my Mom-in-law. She was supposed to be transferred to rehab today, but when they got her there, they did some x-rays and noticed something they didn't like. They took her back to the hospital and she was back in surgery this evening. I do not know all the details, but apparently there was some area on her hip that was not healing like it should and they discovered a dislocation that supposedly was due to complication from the Parkinsons. So, she is back to square one. Please keep the prayers, healing thoughts flowing our way. Love ya'll.

~Punkin


----------



## littlefairywren

Punkin1024 said:


> Just dropping by to give ya'll an update on my Mom-in-law. She was supposed to be transferred to rehab today, but when they got her there, they did some x-rays and noticed something they didn't like. They took her back to the hospital and she was back in surgery this evening. I do not know all the details, but apparently there was some area on her hip that was not healing like it should and they discovered a dislocation that supposedly was due to complication from the Parkinsons. So, she is back to square one. Please keep the prayers, healing thoughts flowing our way. Love ya'll.
> 
> ~Punkin



Punkin, best wishes and prayers for your Ma in law. (((hugs)))


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Ella,I am hoping you get good news...Prayers were sent..

Ladies here are hugs,a shoulder to lean on,a ear to listen,a smile for the sad times and of course lots of love!


----------



## Tau

Punkin1024 said:


> Just dropping by to give ya'll an update on my Mom-in-law. She was supposed to be transferred to rehab today, but when they got her there, they did some x-rays and noticed something they didn't like. They took her back to the hospital and she was back in surgery this evening. I do not know all the details, but apparently there was some area on her hip that was not healing like it should and they discovered a dislocation that supposedly was due to complication from the Parkinsons. So, she is back to square one. Please keep the prayers, healing thoughts flowing our way. Love ya'll.
> 
> ~Punkin



Sending prayers and love and warm wishes your way - I hope she gets better and that the op is a success *hugz*


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Punkin1024 said:


> Just dropping by to give ya'll an update on my Mom-in-law. She was supposed to be transferred to rehab today, but when they got her there, they did some x-rays and noticed something they didn't like. They took her back to the hospital and she was back in surgery this evening. I do not know all the details, but apparently there was some area on her hip that was not healing like it should and they discovered a dislocation that supposedly was due to complication from the Parkinsons. So, she is back to square one. Please keep the prayers, healing thoughts flowing our way. Love ya'll.
> 
> ~Punkin



Oh my............I hope things go around better this time.......


----------



## nettie

Just adding my good thoughts and wishes.



Punkin1024 said:


> Just dropping by to give ya'll an update on my Mom-in-law.
> ~Punkin


----------



## *Ravenous*

MisticalMisty said:


> I lost my job today. Prayers and well wishes appreciated as I do this whole job hunting bullshit again. *sigh*



I recently got laid off myself so I know your pain right now...all the love and prayers for you


----------



## *Ravenous*

I confess I really really dont like the way single is feeling right now:doh:


----------



## calauria

Punkin1024 said:


> Just dropping by to give ya'll an update on my Mom-in-law. She was supposed to be transferred to rehab today, but when they got her there, they did some x-rays and noticed something they didn't like. They took her back to the hospital and she was back in surgery this evening. I do not know all the details, but apparently there was some area on her hip that was not healing like it should and they discovered a dislocation that supposedly was due to complication from the Parkinsons. So, she is back to square one. Please keep the prayers, healing thoughts flowing our way. Love ya'll.
> 
> ~Punkin



I'm so sorry. I hope that she gets better.


----------



## Fluffy51888

IC that is is 4 in the morning and I can't sleep. Grr. What's wrong with me?:blink:


----------



## curvalicious

I confess that I have missed Dims forums, it's been far too long since I've been here!


----------



## butch

IC that I just noticed this thread has had over 40,000 views. That is more than any other thread in the FA/FFA and GLBTQ Forums (by over 25,000), and is 2,000 away from the number of views of the main confession thread in the lounge. Wow.


----------



## Crystal

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that is is 4 in the morning and I can't sleep. Grr. What's wrong with me?:blink:



Ugh. I hate being up in the morning. Not only does it suck that you can't sleep. but there's notthiiinnnggg to do, no one to talk to. StumbleUpon has been my friend many nights. 



butch said:


> IC that I just noticed this thread has had over 40,000 views. That is more than any other thread in the FA/FFA and GLBTQ Forums (by over 25,000), and is 2,000 away from the number of views of the main confession thread in the lounge. Wow.



I guess everyone just likes to know what us fatties are confessing to.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

littlefairywren said:


> Punkin, best wishes and prayers for your Ma in law. (((hugs)))


*Adding my prayers to the list Ella and a supportive hug for you.*



butch said:


> IC that I just noticed this thread has had over 40,000 views. That is more than any other thread in the FA/FFA and GLBTQ Forums (by over 25,000), and is 2,000 away from the number of views of the main confession thread in the lounge. Wow.
> 
> 
> Crystal said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...snip...
> I guess everyone just likes to know what us fatties are confessing to.
Click to expand...


*Hahahaha! Crystal said exactly what I was going to say. Great fattie minds and all...
*


----------



## Tau

katherine22 said:


> I love my body, and finally I have a boyfriend who really loves it tool


YEAH BABY!!!!  I'm so frikken chuffed for you - got this huge, stupid grin on my face as I write this. if you'reever struck by the urge to post pics please let me know - I am relentlessly, incurably nosy LOL!


----------



## Fluffy51888

Crystal said:


> Ugh. I hate being up in the morning. Not only does it suck that you can't sleep. but there's notthiiinnnggg to do, no one to talk to. StumbleUpon has been my friend many nights.





Oh, I know! I usually stay up pretty late, but rarely that late. There's nothing on TV, just like you said-nothing at all to do. And I'm not sure what StumbleUpon is...inform me?


----------



## Crystal

Fluffy51888 said:


> Oh, I know! I usually stay up pretty late, but rarely that late. There's nothing on TV, just like you said-nothing at all to do. And I'm not sure what StumbleUpon is...inform me?



Oh my gosh, hon! You have _got _to use it. Go to StumbleUpon.com. It's a taskbar that you'll add to your internet browser. You sign up, and put in all your interests (History, arts and crafts, music, etc). Then, you download the toolbar and there will be a button that says "Stumble Upon." Anytime you're bored, just click that button and it will take you to a random site that has to do with your "interests."

I warn you, though. It keeps me up late at night.  Then again, if you're already staying awake with nothing to do, this would be perfect for you! Let me know if it works.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that is is 4 in the morning and I can't sleep. Grr. What's wrong with me?:blink:



You've become me.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Crystal said:


> I guess everyone just likes to know what us fatties are confessing to.



HAHA! Exactly!


----------



## Famouslastwords

butch said:


> IC that I just noticed this thread has had over 40,000 views. That is more than any other thread in the FA/FFA and GLBTQ Forums (by over 25,000), and is 2,000 away from the number of views of the main confession thread in the lounge. Wow.




That's exactly why no one discusses really sensitive bbw issues here.


----------



## Inhibited

ic: That after reading posts on this thread and "What is making you SAD right now' thread......... I'm so grateful for the mother i have, am sorry how other members are treated by their families, but it just makes me realize that i'm the luckiest person in the world to have the mother i have....


----------



## luscious_lulu

I found out yesterday I have Systemic Scleroderma. I'm freaked out and scared. I haven't told anyone in my family.


----------



## calauria

luscious_lulu said:


> I found out yesterday I have Systemic Scleroderma. I'm freaked out and scared. I haven't told anyone in my family.



Omg, I just search this to find out what it was, I'm so sorry. Hopefully, you have a good doctor and insurance? I'm so sorry you have to go through this. *hugs*

I have fibromyalgia and arthritis with no insurance and I feel as though I'm about to die...


----------



## luscious_lulu

calauria said:


> Omg, I just search this to find out what it was, I'm so sorry. Hopefully, you have a good doctor and insurance? I'm so sorry you have to go through this. *hugs*
> 
> I have fibromyalgia and arthritis with no insurance and I feel as though I'm about to die...



*hugs*

I have a very good doctor and (thankfully) I live in Canada and we have universal health care (100% coverage). I am going to get an echo cardiogram done next week.

I can imagine how stressed you must be.


----------



## littlefairywren

luscious_lulu said:


> I found out yesterday I have Systemic Scleroderma. I'm freaked out and scared. I haven't told anyone in my family.



(((Lulu)))
I know there is nothing I can say to help make you feel better, but sending you warm thoughts and well wishes.


----------



## luscious_lulu

littlefairywren said:


> (((Lulu)))
> I know there is nothing I can say to help make you feel better, but sending you warm thoughts and well wishes.



Thank you.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Famouslastwords said:


> That's exactly why no one discusses really sensitive bbw issues here.



EXACTLY!!!!



luscious_lulu said:


> I found out yesterday I have Systemic Scleroderma. I'm freaked out and scared. I haven't told anyone in my family.



Hugs to you sweetie!!!


----------



## nettie

Hugs to both of you, lulu and calauria.


----------



## Surlysomething

luscious_lulu said:


> I found out yesterday I have Systemic Scleroderma. I'm freaked out and scared. I haven't told anyone in my family.




So sorry to hear this. I'm glad you have a good Dr and live in Canada as well. Maybe you could join a support group sometime and have more people to talk to about your feelings etc. -hug-


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

calauria said:


> I have fibromyalgia and arthritis with no insurance and I feel as though I'm about to die...



Oh dear, I have both of those in addition to some other "lovelies" 

Have you tried to apply for Medicaid??


----------



## luscious_lulu

MizzSnakeBite said:


> EXACTLY!!!!
> 
> 
> 
> Hugs to you sweetie!!!





nettie said:


> Hugs to both of you, lulu and calauria.





Surlysomething said:


> So sorry to hear this. I'm glad you have a good Dr and live in Canada as well. Maybe you could join a support group sometime and have more people to talk to about your feelings etc. -hug-


 

Thank you. I appreciate the hugs and warm words/thoughts.

When I posted on Friday, I was still in shock. Now that I've had a day or two to deal with it, my practical side is kicking in. 

I've been looking up information online and there is a support group in my city. I am thinking about going.


----------



## Ruffie

Lu lu sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I hope that you take care of you and see that you are pushing forward looking into support groups, doing research and thinking practically. I feel this will go a long way to helping you deal and want to add my positive thoughts your way, YOU GO GIRL!


----------



## Tau

I can't stand that my sister is back with her boyfriend - I cannot fucking stand it the whole dynamic of what they have, the history, makes me so unhappy. It doesnt help that I still need to live with her for another week. We've talked about how I feel about him - I spent 2 days crying about it last year and begging her not to. I get that its not my life - to fuck up or enjoy. But I also can't help feeling this constant, crushing sense that she's spiralling to misery if she stays with him. Ugh!


----------



## luscious_lulu

Ruffie said:


> Lu lu sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I hope that you take care of you and see that you are pushing forward looking into support groups, doing research and thinking practically. I feel this will go a long way to helping you deal and want to add my positive thoughts your way, YOU GO GIRL!



Thanks Ruffie!


----------



## luscious_lulu

Tau said:


> I can't stand that my sister is back with her boyfriend - I cannot fucking stand it the whole dynamic of what they have, the history, makes me so unhappy. It doesnt help that I still need to live with her for another week. We've talked about how I feel about him - I spent 2 days crying about it last year and begging her not to. I get that its not my life - to fuck up or enjoy. But I also can't help feeling this constant, crushing sense that she's spiralling to misery if she stays with him. Ugh!



As hard as it is you need to let her make her own mistakes. I know how you feel my sister continues to date losers, abusers and criminals. I've told her how I feel, but it hasn't made a difference. 

(((Hugs)))


----------



## *Ravenous*

I also confess that I have Epilepsy and it sucks because Im a single parent and if something drastic happens who will be there for my little man


----------



## verucassault

2 confessions

1) i don't believe in monogamy 
2) i really want a belly rub right now, nothing more. just a man with strong hands to rub my
stomach and roll the hell out


----------



## Tau

luscious_lulu said:


> As hard as it is you need to let her make her own mistakes. I know how you feel my sister continues to date losers, abusers and criminals. I've told her how I feel, but it hasn't made a difference.
> 
> (((Hugs)))



Thanks Lulu - its a hard lesson to learn that you can't run the lives of the people you love *sigh*


----------



## Tau

*Ravenous* said:


> I also confess that I have Epilepsy and it sucks because Im a single parent and if something drastic happens who will be there for my little man



Huge huge hugs Ravenous. Just keep taking the meds, take care of your health, and you should be just fine. Sending a ton of love and prayers your way.


----------



## Tau

verucassault said:


> 2 confessions
> 
> 1) i don't believe in monogamy
> 2) i really want a belly rub right now, nothing more. just a man with strong hands to rub my
> stomach and roll the hell out



I too long for a belly rub *sniffles*


----------



## Dmitra

Sometimes it's kinda wonderful to be wrong.


----------



## littlefairywren

IC that unrequited love totally sucks....and I made a complete ass of myself last night. And the cold light of day makes it even suckier


----------



## Dmitra

littlefairywren said:


> IC that unrequited love totally sucks....and I made a complete ass of myself last night. And the cold light of day makes it even suckier



{{{{LFW}}}}

Anyone who wouldn't requite to you is now to be known as a bozo by definition.


----------



## LovelyLiz

littlefairywren said:


> IC that unrequited love totally sucks....and I made a complete ass of myself last night. And the cold light of day makes it even suckier



HUGS to you LFW...that is the worst. Sorry to hear that.


----------



## verucassault

Tau said:


> I too long for a belly rub *sniffles*



i might be able to get one on wednesday evening but i want one NAO dammit! 
there should be men outside my door begging to lend me their belly rubbing services. but sadly i live in this effed up dimension called "reality"


----------



## luscious_lulu

littlefairywren said:


> IC that unrequited love totally sucks....and I made a complete ass of myself last night. And the cold light of day makes it even suckier



*hugs* 

At least you tried. So many people wouldn't even take the chance.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

littlefairywren said:


> IC that unrequited love totally sucks....and I made a complete ass of myself last night. And the cold light of day makes it even suckier



But you know......and now can move on to better things. Or I hope that you can eventually see it that way. 

Hugs to you.....you are so wonderful  :bow:


----------



## olwen

littlefairywren said:


> IC that unrequited love totally sucks....and I made a complete ass of myself last night. And the cold light of day makes it even suckier



Been there, done that. I've done that with guys who I'm still friends with. It's been years and it still kinda burns, but now that I know them really well I find myself thinking "what the heck was I thinking." You'll get over it in a while. Have a margarita and move on.


----------



## littlefairywren

DameQ said:


> {{{{LFW}}}}
> 
> Anyone who wouldn't requite to you is now to be known as a bozo by definition.



LOL, I needed that! 



mcbeth said:


> HUGS to you LFW...that is the worst. Sorry to hear that.





luscious_lulu said:


> *hugs*
> 
> At least you tried. So many people wouldn't even take the chance.





Green Eyed Fairy said:


> But you know......and now can move on to better things. Or I hope that you can eventually see it that way.
> 
> Hugs to you.....you are so wonderful  :bow:





olwen said:


> Been there, done that. I've done that with guys who I'm still friends with. It's been years and it still kinda burns, but now that I know them really well I find myself thinking "what the heck was I thinking." You'll get over it in a while. Have a margarita and move on.



My gosh, this is why I love the women of Dims! Thank you so, so much...hugs to all of you.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> IC that unrequited love totally sucks....and I made a complete ass of myself last night. And the cold light of day makes it even suckier



You'll be fine just as long as you listen to Momma Bird


----------



## nettie

littlefairywren said:


> IC that unrequited love totally sucks....and I made a complete ass of myself last night. And the cold light of day makes it even suckier



Making an ass of myself is a daily event for me, I fear. And that's just me being ... well, me....

As for unrequited love, well, it truly is his loss because I can tell, even with oceans and vast lands between us, you are someone special. You are far more courageous than I, because I sit back with my own unrequited lust and am too chicken to do anything about it except get all hot and bothered when he's around.


----------



## CleverBomb

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> But you know......and now can move on to better things. Or I hope that you can eventually see it that way.
> 
> Hugs to you.....you are so wonderful  :bow:


This is the place where I just say "what GEF just said -- yeah!"

-Rusty
(She's right, you know. As are the other ladies who replied here with encouragement!)


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> You'll be fine just as long as you listen to Momma Bird



:kiss2:



nettie said:


> Making an ass of myself is a daily event for me, I fear. And that's just me being ... well, me....
> 
> As for unrequited love, well, it truly is his loss because I can tell, even with oceans and vast lands between us, you are someone special. You are far more courageous than I, because I sit back with my own unrequited lust and am too chicken to do anything about it except get all hot and bothered when he's around.



Awww nettie, thank you very much for that. 



CleverBomb said:


> This is the place where I just say "what GEF just said -- yeah!"
> 
> -Rusty
> (She's right, you know. As are the other ladies who replied here with encouragement!)



Ta Rusty...:happy:


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

LFW hugs hon..No worries it is his loss not your's! He will be sorry one day he didn't at least give it a chance..

IC I did a very stupid thing and now I am really paying for it big time..I know how to fix it but not real sure I want to at this time..


----------



## littlefairywren

BubbleButtBabe said:


> LFW hugs hon..No worries it is his loss not your's! He will be sorry one day he didn't at least give it a chance..
> 
> IC I did a very stupid thing and now I am really paying for it big time..I know how to fix it but not real sure I want to at this time..



Thanks Bubble 

I hope you can work out whatever is causing your upset.....(((hugs)))


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC I did a very stupid thing and now I am really paying for it big time..I know how to fix it but not real sure I want to at this time..



(((((HUGS)))))


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Thank you ladies..Even tho we do age and are suppose to mature there are times we slip and do childish stuff and well,let's just say one of these days I might grow up!


----------



## Punkin1024

Hello ladies! I've had some trying times lately and I've had to do a lot of thinking. Still in the thinking stage. Change is coming, don't know if it will be good or bad, only time will tell. I'm finding it necessary to limit my computer time in the evenings to spend more time getting some exercise and visiting with Mark. We both need this time. Mark's Mom is not getting better. She's been moved back to rehab, but she isn't eating enough and her blood proteins are too low. Not enough energy to do her therapy or for her body to repair itself. 

Anyway, I'm limiting myself to the BBW Forum for a while. 

Love ya'll.


~Punkin


----------



## scroogey

i got talking to someone on here, got madly into them, met up with them and fucked them, only for them to make excuses the day after telling me they didnt want me in their life anymore, and 2 months later i still can't get them out of my mind. theres my sad and pathetic confession.


----------



## littlefairywren

scroogey said:


> i got talking to someone on here, got madly into them, met up with them and fucked them, only for them to make excuses the day after telling me they didnt want me in their life anymore, and 2 months later i still can't get them out of my mind. theres my sad and pathetic confession.



Oh hon...big (((hugs)))
Sad maybe, but not pathetic. Don't ever think that!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Punkin1024 said:


> Hello ladies! I've had some trying times lately and I've had to do a lot of thinking. Still in the thinking stage. Change is coming, don't know if it will be good or bad, only time will tell. I'm finding it necessary to limit my computer time in the evenings to spend more time getting some exercise and visiting with Mark. We both need this time. Mark's Mom is not getting better. She's been moved back to rehab, but she isn't eating enough and her blood proteins are too low. Not enough energy to do her therapy or for her body to repair itself.
> 
> Anyway, I'm limiting myself to the BBW Forum for a while.
> 
> Love ya'll.
> 
> 
> ~Punkin



I hope things get better for your dear .



scroogey said:


> i got talking to someone on here, got madly into them, met up with them and fucked them, only for them to make excuses the day after telling me they didnt want me in their life anymore, and 2 months later i still can't get them out of my mind. theres my sad and pathetic confession.



I'm so sorry to hear this. It's not you, it's them.

Hugs,
Mizz

P.S. It's not pathetic


----------



## LovelyLiz

scroogey said:


> i got talking to someone on here, got madly into them, met up with them and fucked them, only for them to make excuses the day after telling me they didnt want me in their life anymore, and 2 months later i still can't get them out of my mind. theres my sad and pathetic confession.



Good riddance to bad rubbish. Honestly, if that's the kind of guy he is you don't want that crap in your life. At the same time, I'm really sorry it's still on your mind and bothering you, that is a terrible, terrible feeling...I hope you get over that jackass soon. HUGS!!!


----------



## Tau

littlefairywren said:


> IC that unrequited love totally sucks....and I made a complete ass of myself last night. And the cold light of day makes it even suckier



He's a dumbass - you're beyond awesome *smishes*


----------



## Tau

scroogey said:


> i got talking to someone on here, got madly into them, met up with them and fucked them, only for them to make excuses the day after telling me they didnt want me in their life anymore, and 2 months later i still can't get them out of my mind. theres my sad and pathetic confession.



Aw chick, I'm so sorry. I can't stand guys who misrepresent like that. Wish I could bitch slap him on your behalf. *LOVE*


----------



## DitzyBrunette

scroogey said:


> i got talking to someone on here, got madly into them, met up with them and fucked them, only for them to make excuses the day after telling me they didnt want me in their life anymore, and 2 months later i still can't get them out of my mind. theres my sad and pathetic confession.



How long did you guys talk before meeting? 
I don't understand why men do this, though, isn't it a whole hell of a lot easier to just grab a container of Vaseline and jerk off by themselves? What a scum. I hope he's one of the people who lurks in this forum and sees what women think of men like him (To lurker: Hi, dirtbag!)


----------



## littlefairywren

Tau said:


> He's a dumbass - you're beyond awesome *smishes*



Awww, thanks for that my sweet....you are all kinds of wonderful yourself!


----------



## luscious_lulu

scroogey said:


> i got talking to someone on here, got madly into them, met up with them and fucked them, only for them to make excuses the day after telling me they didnt want me in their life anymore, and 2 months later i still can't get them out of my mind. theres my sad and pathetic confession.



That's horrible of him. The ladies are right. The problem is his. You deserve to be treated so much better.


----------



## scroogey

DitzyBrunette said:


> How long did you guys talk before meeting?
> I don't understand why men do this, though, isn't it a whole hell of a lot easier to just grab a container of Vaseline and jerk off by themselves? What a scum. I hope he's one of the people who lurks in this forum and sees what women think of men like him (To lurker: Hi, dirtbag!)



we talked for like 3 weeks, on the phone most days, i thought it was real with him yknow... but whatever.

thanks guys, youve all cheered me up haha, i only hope i can get over him soon.xx


----------



## Tau

scroogey said:


> we talked for like 3 weeks, on the phone most days, i thought it was real with him yknow... but whatever.
> 
> thanks guys, youve all cheered me up haha, i only hope i can get over him soon.xx



This makes my blood boil. Make it clear that all you're after is a hook up fuck face!! Then I won't get my heart all tangled in your mess! Most guys just don't get this. I know I'd probably boink a lot more random dudes if they were honest from the get go about their intentions - but too many try to bullshit it and insinuate true love and everlasting affection when that's not what they want!! Ugh!! Scroogey babes - you're fucking hot and a really sweet girl - there's somebody amazing and loving and HONEST out there for you, don't let this twat sour you too badly *squeeeeeeeeeeeeze*


----------



## scroogey

Tau said:


> This makes my blood boil. Make it clear that all you're after is a hook up fuck face!! Then I won't get my heart all tangled in your mess! Most guys just don't get this. I know I'd probably boink a lot more random dudes if they were honest from the get go about their intentions - but too many try to bullshit it and insinuate true love and everlasting affection when that's not what they want!! Ugh!! Scroogey babes - you're fucking hot and a really sweet girl - there's somebody amazing and loving and HONEST out there for you, don't let this twat sour you too badly *squeeeeeeeeeeeeze*



thankyou tau  thats all i wish, that he hadnt let me get so into him in the first place... if it was just for sex he could have told me... i mean theres a part of me who wants to believe the excuse/s he said to rid of me, a naive desperate part of me, but still. its gotta get better soon.


----------



## olwen

scroogey said:


> thankyou tau  thats all i wish, that he hadnt let me get so into him in the first place... if it was just for sex he could have told me... i mean theres a part of me who wants to believe the excuse/s he said to rid of me, a naive desperate part of me, but still. its gotta get better soon.



Scroogey, my two cents, and feel free to tell me if I'm off the mark, but I think maybe next time go slow and don't have sex the first time you meet. Make him wait for it. If all he wants is sex he really won't be willing to wait or do any work, and by work, I mean like take you out on dates, honor your boundaries, not try to talk you into having sex before you are comfortable, and be willing to go at your pace. He will actually try to and want to impress you.

If all you want is sex make it clear from the start and just don't bother to become emotionally invested too soon cause empty sex gets boring real fast. If you want more than sex make that abundantly clear from the start too. And if he says he also wants more than sex, but only ever wants to talk about sex or isn't willing to do any work then you know he's lying. I've been where you are now more times than I'd like and have learned the hard way - Any guy I meet who isn't willing to do any work just isn't worth my time or yours. Don't fret over that looser, cause he ain't even worth it.


----------



## scroogey

olwen said:


> Scroogey, my two cents, and feel free to tell me if I'm off the mark, but I think maybe next time go slow and don't have sex the first time you meet. Make him wait for it. If all he wants is sex he really won't be willing to wait or do any work, and by work, I mean like take you out on dates, honor your boundaries, not try to talk you into having sex before you are comfortable, and be willing to go at your pace. He will actually try to and want to impress you.
> 
> If all you want is sex make it clear from the start and just don't bother to become emotionally invested too soon cause empty sex gets boring real fast. If you want more than sex make that abundantly clear from the start too. And if he says he also wants more than sex, but only ever wants to talk about sex or isn't willing to do any work then you know he's lying. I've been where you are now more times than I'd like and have learned the hard way - Any guy I meet who isn't willing to do any work just isn't worth my time or yours. Don't fret over that looser, cause he ain't even worth it.



thats what i normally do. go slow, that is. im not someone who normally rushes into things. but we just seemed so on eachothers level, it felt so right and we both wanted to be together so much. it wasnt even about the sex, just being close on that night was amazing, just being together, it seemed at the time, was perfect. i had no other reason to think otherwise... id never felt so comfortable with someone before in my life, i dunno, i cant explain it...

i know hes not worth it now, but i still cant help thinking about him.

:doh: anyway sorry guys, il stop dominating this thread.


----------



## calauria

scroogey said:


> thats what i normally do. go slow, that is. im not someone who normally rushes into things. but we just seemed so on eachothers level, it felt so right and we both wanted to be together so much. it wasnt even about the sex, just being close on that night was amazing, just being together, it seemed at the time, was perfect. i had no other reason to think otherwise... id never felt so comfortable with someone before in my life, i dunno, i cant explain it...
> 
> i know hes not worth it now, but i still cant help thinking about him.
> 
> :doh: anyway sorry guys, il stop dominating this thread.



I understand what you are going through. I've been in this situation a few times myself. It kinda makes me feel like I can't trust myself to discern whom to trust and whom not...They seem so sincere and when they up and leave, I never see it coming....really fucks me up for awhile

There is this guys that I met on facebook, known him for over a year or so. It wasn't until recently that we starting actually flirting and showing interest in each other, because he thought I was married. But I don't know how to take him...He seems kinda guarded..I asked him what did he want from me, his answer was, "Whatever you're giving", but anyway, I don't know what that means and I didn't ask him to clarify at the time, because I was tired, and my attitude was more like, "Well, fuck it." Right now, I'm just trying to take it slow and get to know him better, without getting too emotionally involved, just in case he turns out to be a jerk....

But, yeah, I know how it feels to have a hard time getting over a person....*hugs*


----------



## Weeze

I guess I still don't understand why cutting out the people that treat me poorly still leaves me the lonely one.


----------



## Candy_Coated_Clown

olwen said:


> Scroogey, my two cents, and feel free to tell me if I'm off the mark, but I think maybe next time go slow and don't have sex the first time you meet. Make him wait for it. If all he wants is sex he really won't be willing to wait or do any work, and by work, I mean like take you out on dates, honor your boundaries, not try to talk you into having sex before you are comfortable, and be willing to go at your pace. He will actually try to and want to impress you.
> 
> If all you want is sex make it clear from the start and just don't bother to become emotionally invested too soon cause empty sex gets boring real fast. If you want more than sex make that abundantly clear from the start too. And if he says he also wants more than sex, but only ever wants to talk about sex or isn't willing to do any work then you know he's lying. I've been where you are now more times than I'd like and have learned the hard way - Any guy I meet who isn't willing to do any work just isn't worth my time or yours. Don't fret over that looser, cause he ain't even worth it.



Exactly this. This would be my advice/words as well. Completely.


----------



## Tau

krismiss said:


> I guess I still don't understand why cutting out the people that treat me poorly still leaves me the lonely one.



I used to have a ton of friends. I always had somebody to talk to, go out with, bitch about etc. But most of those people were poison and I got rid of them. Now I quite literally have 7 really close friends, one of whom is my 5 year old niece  I had to learn to spend a lot of time alone - and you know in all that time alone, just being me, i figured out that I didn't miss them. Learn to love your own company krismiss, you will never have a better friend than the friend you can be to yourself. There's a real peace in being able to spend a week just with you and come out of it feeling refreshed and happy and rejuvenated. I'm in the process of planning a 5 day trip into the mountains on my own and I'm going to take walks and stare at the sky and swim and dream all by myself. Just give it a chance - you'll find that you aren't all that lonely after all *big hugz*


----------



## luscious_lulu

More of a whine than a confession.

I'm at the garage waiting to see if it is my car battery that has gone. 

I think I may be kidding myself that I'm handling things well, because all I want to do right now is cry.


----------



## luscious_lulu

luscious_lulu said:


> More of a whine than a confession.
> 
> I'm at the garage waiting to see if it is my car battery that has gone.
> 
> I think I may be kidding myself that I'm handling things well, because all I want to do right now is cry.




Turns out it's the altinator I replaced last may. The parts are under warranty, but I have to pay the labour.


----------



## gypsy

luscious_lulu said:


> More of a whine than a confession.
> 
> I'm at the garage waiting to see if it is my car battery that has gone.
> 
> I think I may be kidding myself that I'm handling things well, because all I want to do right now is cry.



I think you should take Kia to court for the BS they're putting you through with this. Dirtbags.


----------



## Crystal

IC that I'm in one of the most hippie/progressive areas on campus, where everyone is eating organic granola and drinking Vitamin water...

And I'm munching on a Moon Pie.


----------



## MisticalMisty

I'm really ready to stop worrying about where we are going to live when we can't pay our mortgage next month..or where our next meal is going to come from...

I just want to crawl into bed and go to sleep. I'm so exhausted from all this crap..it needs to go away.


----------



## Tracyarts

" I guess I still don't understand why cutting out the people that treat me poorly still leaves me the lonely one. "

I feel the same way sometimes. I had a few friends who seemed to be the ones who were always calling, always online and wanting to chat, always wanting to do something... but they happened to all be really toxic to me. My other friends are nowhere near as accessible as these people were, because of their work, school, family, and volunteer obligations. So, after cutting the toxic ones out of my life, it seemed like my social life all but disappeared. I felt really lonely because I was used to having these people in contact with me all the time. But, after being away from them and their toxic influence for a while, alone stopped being so lonely. Because they aren't around to mess with my head anymore, I'm a lot more at peace with myself. Which means that I can enjoy my own company without having all that drama and stress they brought into my life swirling around in my mind and clouding my thoughts. Sure, sometimes it still feels lonely, but it truly is better than the alternative of keeping them in my life just to have somebody to be social with. 

Tracy


----------



## luscious_lulu

gypsy said:


> I think you should take Kia to court for the BS they're putting you through with this. Dirtbags.




*sigh* I wish I could.


----------



## calauria

MisticalMisty said:


> I'm really ready to stop worrying about where we are going to live when we can't pay our mortgage next month..or where our next meal is going to come from...
> 
> I just want to crawl into bed and go to sleep. I'm so exhausted from all this crap..it needs to go away.



Sorry you have to go through this...*hugs*


----------



## calauria

I C that the guy I just posted about ended up being a jerk....


----------



## msbard90

scroogey said:


> i got talking to someone on here, got madly into them, met up with them and fucked them, only for them to make excuses the day after telling me they didnt want me in their life anymore, and 2 months later i still can't get them out of my mind. theres my sad and pathetic confession.



Who ever wouldn't want you is ridiculous! Definitely not a pathetic confession. Stories like this help other people learn that not everything is glitter and gold on dims. Much love xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox


----------



## olwen

scroogey said:


> thats what i normally do. go slow, that is. im not someone who normally rushes into things. but we just seemed so on eachothers level, it felt so right and we both wanted to be together so much. it wasnt even about the sex, just being close on that night was amazing, just being together, it seemed at the time, was perfect. i had no other reason to think otherwise... id never felt so comfortable with someone before in my life, i dunno, i cant explain it...
> 
> i know hes not worth it now, but i still cant help thinking about him.
> 
> :doh: anyway sorry guys, il stop dominating this thread.



I guess the heart wants what it wants. I dunno...I just pay more attention to what a guy does than what he says. Seems to me that sometimes they just like to say whatever it is they think we want to hear and hope that will be enough to placate us. I can understand where you are coming from believe me. Hopefully you will be able to get over him quick.


----------



## Tau

MisticalMisty said:


> I'm really ready to stop worrying about where we are going to live when we can't pay our mortgage next month..or where our next meal is going to come from...
> 
> I just want to crawl into bed and go to sleep. I'm so exhausted from all this crap..it needs to go away.



I've been here. I'm so sorry this is happening. Is there family you can fall back on? Praying for you.


----------



## Tau

calauria said:


> I C that the guy I just posted about ended up being a jerk....



*huge hugz*


----------



## MisticalMisty

calauria said:


> Sorry you have to go through this...*hugs*





Tau said:


> I've been here. I'm so sorry this is happening. Is there family you can fall back on? Praying for you.



Thanks ladies.

As far as family goes, my mom is almost 2 hours away. While we could stay with her for a little bit, if we were to get jobs, we could never do that commute every day.

We are speaking with the bank tomorrow and I'm calling around different apartment complexes to see if they will rent to us if we both are just on unemployment.

I know things will work out. I know they will. I just need them to speed it up a little bit.


----------



## msbard90

MisticalMisty said:


> Thanks ladies.
> 
> As far as family goes, my mom is almost 2 hours away. While we could stay with her for a little bit, if we were to get jobs, we could never do that commute every day.
> 
> We are speaking with the bank tomorrow and I'm calling around different apartment complexes to see if they will rent to us if we both are just on unemployment.
> 
> I know things will work out. I know they will. I just need them to speed it up a little bit.



It will get better. When you feel you have hit rock bottom, the only way you can go is up.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I have to confess that I love seeing how all the ladies are supportive of each other in this thread....and in other places on the boards. Really gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling :happy: :bow:


----------



## scroogey

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I have to confess that I love seeing how all the ladies are supportive of each other in this thread....and in other places on the boards. Really gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling :happy: :bow:



definitely agreed!!

thanks again girls, for the support n stuff


----------



## msbard90

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I have to confess that I love seeing how all the ladies are supportive of each other in this thread....and in other places on the boards. Really gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling :happy: :bow:



I know. Sometimes I feel like the ladies of dims are better friends with me than my own friends!


----------



## calauria

msbard90 said:


> I know. Sometimes I feel like the ladies of dims are better friends with me than my own friends!



Yeah me too!!


----------



## littlefairywren

msbard90 said:


> I know. Sometimes I feel like the ladies of dims are better friends with me than my own friends!



Count me in with that feeling too! I get more support here than anywhere else, more understanding.


----------



## Punkin1024

All the above responses are why I keep coming back to this Forum. I count all of you here as dear friends, and as Calauria said, some of you are closer to me than my friends that see me on a daily basis. 

Just dropping by to give you all an update on my MIL. She isn't doing too well in therapy. They've done all they can for her and will be releasing her on Monday. She will be in a wheelchair for the remainder of her life. The Parkinson's is doing this to her. She doesn't eat enough to sustain repairs or strength to her body. It is affecting her state of mind as well, she is losing grip on where she is and when it is. Her husband and my Mark have been with her round the clock (Mark sits in for his Dad in the afternoon, and all afternoon on Sundays). Anyway, just wanted to thank all of you for your prayers and concerns.


----------



## olwen

Punkin1024 said:


> All the above responses are why I keep coming back to this Forum. I count all of you here as dear friends, and as Calauria said, some of you are closer to me than my friends that see me on a daily basis.
> 
> Just dropping by to give you all an update on my MIL. She isn't doing too well in therapy. They've done all they can for her and will be releasing her on Monday. She will be in a wheelchair for the remainder of her life. The Parkinson's is doing this to her. She doesn't eat enough to sustain repairs or strength to her body. It is affecting her state of mind as well, she is losing grip on where she is and when it is. Her husband and my Mark have been with her round the clock (Mark sits in for his Dad in the afternoon, and all afternoon on Sundays). Anyway, just wanted to thank all of you for your prayers and concerns.



Oh that makes me sad. I hate to say it, but at this point maybe all you can do is just try to make her comfortable and just support each other as best you can. Big hugs to you and your family.


----------



## littlefairywren

Punkin1024 said:


> All the above responses are why I keep coming back to this Forum. I count all of you here as dear friends, and as Calauria said, some of you are closer to me than my friends that see me on a daily basis.
> 
> Just dropping by to give you all an update on my MIL. She isn't doing too well in therapy. They've done all they can for her and will be releasing her on Monday. She will be in a wheelchair for the remainder of her life. The Parkinson's is doing this to her. She doesn't eat enough to sustain repairs or strength to her body. It is affecting her state of mind as well, she is losing grip on where she is and when it is. Her husband and my Mark have been with her round the clock (Mark sits in for his Dad in the afternoon, and all afternoon on Sundays). Anyway, just wanted to thank all of you for your prayers and concerns.



Gentle (((hugs))) Punkin...warm thoughts for you and Mark, your Mum in Law and your families.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

scroogey said:


> :doh: anyway sorry guys, il stop dominating this thread.



Don't be silly!  We're always here for each other!



krismiss said:


> I guess I still don't understand why cutting out the people that treat me poorly still leaves me the lonely one.



Oh boy, do I understand....... Hugs to you!



Tau said:


> I used to have a ton of friends. I always had somebody to talk to, go out with, bitch about etc. But most of those people were poison and I got rid of them. Now I quite literally have 7 really close friends, one of whom is my 5 year old niece  I had to learn to spend a lot of time alone - and you know in all that time alone, just being me, i figured out that I didn't miss them. Learn to love your own company krismiss, you will never have a better friend than the friend you can be to yourself. There's a real peace in being able to spend a week just with you and come out of it feeling refreshed and happy and rejuvenated. I'm in the process of planning a 5 day trip into the mountains on my own and I'm going to take walks and stare at the sky and swim and dream all by myself. Just give it a chance - you'll find that you aren't all that lonely after all *big hugz*



I approve this post! :bow:



luscious_lulu said:


> Turns out it's the altinator I replaced last may. The parts are under warranty, but I have to pay the labour.



I hope it won't cost too much.



MisticalMisty said:


> I'm really ready to stop worrying about where we are going to live when we can't pay our mortgage next month..or where our next meal is going to come from...
> 
> I just want to crawl into bed and go to sleep. I'm so exhausted from all this crap..it needs to go away.



(((HUGS))) sweetie. I hope you two catch a break soon.



Punkin1024 said:


> All the above responses are why I keep coming back to this Forum. I count all of you here as dear friends, and as Calauria said, some of you are closer to me than my friends that see me on a daily basis.
> 
> Just dropping by to give you all an update on my MIL. She isn't doing too well in therapy. They've done all they can for her and will be releasing her on Monday. She will be in a wheelchair for the remainder of her life. The Parkinson's is doing this to her. She doesn't eat enough to sustain repairs or strength to her body. It is affecting her state of mind as well, she is losing grip on where she is and when it is. Her husband and my Mark have been with her round the clock (Mark sits in for his Dad in the afternoon, and all afternoon on Sundays). Anyway, just wanted to thank all of you for your prayers and concerns.



I'm so sorry to hear this. (((HUGS)))


----------



## calauria

Punkin1024 said:


> All the above responses are why I keep coming back to this Forum. I count all of you here as dear friends, and as Calauria said, some of you are closer to me than my friends that see me on a daily basis.
> 
> Just dropping by to give you all an update on my MIL. She isn't doing too well in therapy. They've done all they can for her and will be releasing her on Monday. She will be in a wheelchair for the remainder of her life. The Parkinson's is doing this to her. She doesn't eat enough to sustain repairs or strength to her body. It is affecting her state of mind as well, she is losing grip on where she is and when it is. Her husband and my Mark have been with her round the clock (Mark sits in for his Dad in the afternoon, and all afternoon on Sundays). Anyway, just wanted to thank all of you for your prayers and concerns.



Oh, I'm so sorry you all are having to go through this. I went through something similar around this time last year with my father. *hugs*


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

I'd like a do-over. Of my entire effing life.


----------



## *Ravenous*

love all you lovely dims ladies thanks!!!!:smitten::smitten::smitten:


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC that I had a particularly long, rough day/evening for a lot of reasons, and I was really looking forward to coming home after teaching my night class and relaxing for a while...but when I opened the door to my apartment and it was filled with a weird musty smell. 

I then discover that my hot water heater had exploded earlier in the day and my kitchen was full of hot water covering the floor with like a 1/2" of water, the floor was beginning to buckle, and everything in the storage space under the hot water heater was soaked. I've spent the last hour sweeping and mopping up the water out of the kitchen and taking stuff out of the storage cabinet to dry out. 

Maybe I should go to sleep before something else happens...sigh.


----------



## *Ravenous*

mcbeth said:


> IC that I had a particularly long, rough day/evening for a lot of reasons, and I was really looking forward to coming home after teaching my night class and relaxing for a while...but when I opened the door to my apartment and it was filled with a weird musty smell.
> 
> I then discover that my hot water heater had exploded earlier in the day and my kitchen was full of hot water covering the floor with like a 1/2" of water, the floor was beginning to buckle, and everything in the storage space under the hot water heater was soaked. I've spent the last hour sweeping and mopping up the water out of the kitchen and taking stuff out of the storage cabinet to dry out.
> 
> Maybe I should go to sleep before something else happens...sigh.



awww it will be ok...hopefully you dont have severe damage from all that hot water...but you will be just fine hun:kiss2:hugs!


----------



## littlefairywren

mcbeth said:


> IC that I had a particularly long, rough day/evening for a lot of reasons, and I was really looking forward to coming home after teaching my night class and relaxing for a while...but when I opened the door to my apartment and it was filled with a weird musty smell.
> 
> I then discover that my hot water heater had exploded earlier in the day and my kitchen was full of hot water covering the floor with like a 1/2" of water, the floor was beginning to buckle, and everything in the storage space under the hot water heater was soaked. I've spent the last hour sweeping and mopping up the water out of the kitchen and taking stuff out of the storage cabinet to dry out.
> 
> Maybe I should go to sleep before something else happens...sigh.



I so hate when stuff like that happens, and it always happens at the worst possible moment. Hopefully you wont have too much damage ((((mcbeth))))
Think happy thoughts


----------



## LovelyLiz

littlefairywren said:


> I so hate when stuff like that happens, and it always happens at the worst possible moment. Hopefully you wont have too much damage ((((mcbeth))))
> Think happy thoughts





*Ravenous* said:


> awww it will be ok...hopefully you dont have severe damage from all that hot water...but you will be just fine hun:kiss2:hugs!



Thanks ladies. Yes, I will be fine...it's certainly not the end of the world at ALL! 

Just a very frustrating day.


----------



## nettie

mcbeth said:


> IC that I had a particularly long, rough day/evening for a lot of reasons, and I was really looking forward to coming home after teaching my night class and relaxing for a while...but when I opened the door to my apartment and it was filled with a weird musty smell.
> 
> I then discover that my hot water heater had exploded earlier in the day and my kitchen was full of hot water covering the floor with like a 1/2" of water, the floor was beginning to buckle, and everything in the storage space under the hot water heater was soaked. I've spent the last hour sweeping and mopping up the water out of the kitchen and taking stuff out of the storage cabinet to dry out.
> 
> Maybe I should go to sleep before something else happens...sigh.



Ugh! So sorry to hear this.


----------



## nettie

IC that once again, I was reminded tonight that guys really like boobs. :happy:


----------



## Fyreflyintheskye

ICT I support everyone who I feel needs me, and it makes me happy to do so, very privileged, in fact, to be someone people I adore confide in... I sincerely don't expect anything in return, but I'm not a robot, either. I get annoyed when many of those same people who routinely complain or are stressed out don't respond when I need encouragement or just a one-syllable note the rare times I complain about something aloud. I am not a vending machine and your self-absorbed behavior sometimes bothers me.


----------



## Crystal

IC that my usual studious self could not be more burned out on school if she tried.

I need to get away from this campus, this town. Has it been great to me? Absolutely. Am I tired of looking at the same four walls? Ditto.

5 more weeks until summer...


----------



## Tau

MizzSnakeBite said:


> I'd like a do-over. Of my entire effing life.



Chick - OMG those days suck. Sending you love


----------



## Tau

mcbeth said:


> IC that I had a particularly long, rough day/evening for a lot of reasons, and I was really looking forward to coming home after teaching my night class and relaxing for a while...but when I opened the door to my apartment and it was filled with a weird musty smell.
> 
> I then discover that my hot water heater had exploded earlier in the day and my kitchen was full of hot water covering the floor with like a 1/2" of water, the floor was beginning to buckle, and everything in the storage space under the hot water heater was soaked. I've spent the last hour sweeping and mopping up the water out of the kitchen and taking stuff out of the storage cabinet to dry out.
> 
> Maybe I should go to sleep before something else happens...sigh.



Ugh. So, so sorry. I'm having one of these kinds of days today. I just wanna go out and drown my sorrows in drink.

How did it work out though - did you manage to get it all cleaned up. Big hugs chick - that is just suckitude on another level.


----------



## Tau

I confess that today, right this minute, I am so fucking tired of taking care of myself and of other people. I want to be smothered in love and money. I want my every care and concern seen to by other people, preferably goodlooking and male. I don't want to have to think about how to fix things or screw stuff in or pay for things. I just want it to be somebody else's problem and not mine. I want to hand my life over and just drift - secure in the knowledge that I'm being steered towards happiness - even if it isn't completely of my own making. I know its not PC, or clever or brave - but I'm just so tired right now and I want life to WORK DAMMIT!!!


----------



## luscious_lulu

Tau said:


> I confess that today, right this minute, I am so fucking tired of taking care of myself and of other people. I want to be smothered in love and money. I want my every care and concern seen to by other people, preferably goodlooking and male. I don't want to have to think about how to fix things or screw stuff in or pay for things. I just want it to be somebody else's problem and not mine. I want to hand my life over and just drift - secure in the knowledge that I'm being steered towards happiness - even if it isn't completely of my own making. I know its not PC, or clever or brave - but I'm just so tired right now and I want life to WORK DAMMIT!!!



(((hugs)))


----------



## mszwebs

I confess that this morning, I had a dream that Tau called me haha.


----------



## littlefairywren

Tau said:


> I confess that today, right this minute, I am so fucking tired of taking care of myself and of other people. I want to be smothered in love and money. I want my every care and concern seen to by other people, preferably goodlooking and male. I don't want to have to think about how to fix things or screw stuff in or pay for things. I just want it to be somebody else's problem and not mine. I want to hand my life over and just drift - secure in the knowledge that I'm being steered towards happiness - even if it isn't completely of my own making. I know its not PC, or clever or brave - but I'm just so tired right now and I want life to WORK DAMMIT!!!



Stuff clever and brave! I hear you.....(((((Tau)))))


----------



## LovelyLiz

Tau said:


> I confess that today, right this minute, I am so fucking tired of taking care of myself and of other people. I want to be smothered in love and money. I want my every care and concern seen to by other people, preferably goodlooking and male. I don't want to have to think about how to fix things or screw stuff in or pay for things. I just want it to be somebody else's problem and not mine. I want to hand my life over and just drift - secure in the knowledge that I'm being steered towards happiness - even if it isn't completely of my own making. I know its not PC, or clever or brave - but I'm just so tired right now and I want life to WORK DAMMIT!!!



Here's hoping the universe has lots of love to throw at you in the very near future. You're an awesome chica. (((BIG HUGS)))


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tau said:


> Chick - OMG those days suck. Sending you love



Thanks so much; it means a lot 



Tau said:


> I confess that today, right this minute, I am so fucking tired of taking care of myself and of other people. I want to be smothered in love and money. I want my every care and concern seen to by other people, preferably goodlooking and male. I don't want to have to think about how to fix things or screw stuff in or pay for things. I just want it to be somebody else's problem and not mine. I want to hand my life over and just drift - secure in the knowledge that I'm being steered towards happiness - even if it isn't completely of my own making. I know its not PC, or clever or brave - but I'm just so tired right now and I want life to WORK DAMMIT!!!



(((HUGS))) to you. Man, do I wish this too.


----------



## olwen

Tau said:


> I confess that today, right this minute, I am so fucking tired of taking care of myself and of other people. I want to be smothered in love and money. I want my every care and concern seen to by other people, preferably goodlooking and male. I don't want to have to think about how to fix things or screw stuff in or pay for things. I just want it to be somebody else's problem and not mine. I want to hand my life over and just drift - secure in the knowledge that I'm being steered towards happiness - even if it isn't completely of my own making. I know its not PC, or clever or brave - but I'm just so tired right now and I want life to WORK DAMMIT!!!



This I can relate to very much. Find a way to destress and relax and don't be afraid to tell people you just don't have time for their stress right now, or when they do come to you just tell them you think they should do what they want to do. 

Hugs


----------



## Tau

mszwebs said:


> I confess that this morning, I had a dream that Tau called me haha.



LOL! I hope I had something interesting to say - I'm terribly rambly and loud on the phone usually.

@All the other lovely ladies on the thread - thanks so much for the words - it means a lot to be able to come here and unload and know that I'm not the only one feeling what I feel. Major love to you all :wubu:


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that like Tau and Devi, I so often want to just wave a magic wand or step into a doorway to another world and start over. Don't you just wish there was a huge universal "re-do" button that you could hit at least once in your lifetime when you know you've made some huge mistakes that can never be erased? I'm there right now, I know it is depression and hormones messing with my mind, but dang it all, it is still there! All I can say is Ladies, I do so understand and if you ever find that button or doorway - take me along or send it my way!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Punkin1024 said:


> IC that like Tau and Devi, I so often want to just wave a magic wand or step into a doorway to another world and start over. Don't you just wish there was a huge universal "re-do" button that you could hit at least once in your lifetime when you know you've made some huge mistakes that can never be erased? I'm there right now, I know it is depression and hormones messing with my mind, but dang it all, it is still there! All I can say is Ladies, I do so understand and if you ever find that button or doorway - take me along or send it my way!



Yup, with I could hit "re-do" on my entire life.


----------



## Lamia

IC that I hate my legs. They're so ugly. My cat decided to pee on the bathroom floor and I slipped and fell somehow straight down on my left knee. At 425 lbs you can imagine that wasn't an easy fall. My knee actually doesn't hurt that bad because all the fat protected it, but it busted a MILLION blood vessels. It is swollen and zig zagged with veins and vessels and I feel so ugly. 

The worst part about the fall was laying on my back in cat urine and having to wriggle through it to get out of the doorway.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Lamia said:


> IC that I hate my legs. They're so ugly. My cat decided to pee on the bathroom floor and I slipped and fell somehow straight down on my left knee. At 425 lbs you can imagine that wasn't an easy fall. My knee actually doesn't hurt that bad because all the fat protected it, but it busted a MILLION blood vessels. It is swollen and zig zagged with veins and vessels and I feel so ugly.
> 
> The worst part about the fall was laying on my back in cat urine and having to wriggle through it to get out of the doorway.



Look, I don't know you at all...but you are so awesome! Wriggling through cat urine? Badass. And I'm sure your legs are f-ing hot.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Lamia said:


> IC that I hate my legs. They're so ugly. My cat decided to pee on the bathroom floor and I slipped and fell somehow straight down on my left knee. At 425 lbs you can imagine that wasn't an easy fall. My knee actually doesn't hurt that bad because all the fat protected it, but it busted a MILLION blood vessels. It is swollen and zig zagged with veins and vessels and I feel so ugly.
> 
> The worst part about the fall was laying on my back in cat urine and having to wriggle through it to get out of the doorway.





mcbeth said:


> Look, I don't know you at all...but you are so awesome! Wriggling through cat urine? Badass. And I'm sure your legs are f-ing hot.



IC that when I wrote that response I was not what we would call "sober"...and I don't know what I was thinking...

Lamia - I'm sorry that happened to you! Sounds like a really unpleasant experience, and I hope your knee is okay. Hope your day is much better today!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Lamia said:


> IC that I hate my legs. They're so ugly. My cat decided to pee on the bathroom floor and I slipped and fell somehow straight down on my left knee. At 425 lbs you can imagine that wasn't an easy fall. My knee actually doesn't hurt that bad because all the fat protected it, but it busted a MILLION blood vessels. It is swollen and zig zagged with veins and vessels and I feel so ugly.
> 
> The worst part about the fall was laying on my back in cat urine and having to wriggle through it to get out of the doorway.



How terrible! What we have to put up with to have our fur babies!! I hope your leg heals quickly! Try to take it easy and be gentle with yourself!
Hugs,
Mizz


----------



## KaliCurves

IC That I'm really lonely tonight, I miss my kids, my fiance. I miss how life is suppose to be. I don't want to be sitting here alone on Sunday night. After being in a relationship for 18 years, and having kids home with you for 15 years. Its a really lonely feeling when no one is around any more. I don't miss my Ex at all. I just miss the company...:really sad::really sad:


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

KaliCurves said:


> IC That I'm really lonely tonight, I miss my kids, my fiance. I miss how life is suppose to be. I don't want to be sitting here alone on Sunday night. After being in a relationship for 18 years, and having kids home with you for 15 years. Its a really lonely feeling when no one is around any more. I don't miss my Ex at all. I just miss the company...:really sad::really sad:



((((HUGS))))


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Hugsss to you ladies that are having such a crappy time in life..To tell you the truth I would not change 1 minute of my life even the times it was in the toilet! I would have missed all the great friends I have made over the years...I would have missed my children and my grandbaby and most of all I would have really missed the last few years I got to spend with my Mom and my brothers..

I am sorry Kali I know all about loneliness..It was hard getting use to being alone after both my kids left home but now I love it..I find stuff to do and at night I get to watch what I like without a conversation going on....LOL Fill the void with something you like hon,it helps a lot! I play a lot of games on Facebook and sing to my dog..

Lamia I hope your knee is okay and looking better today..Bless your heart..Wishing you a speedy recovery! 

IC I am in this zone mentally and it is not a real nice place to be right now...I need to snap out of it so I can clean my house and get out and about since the weather is changing!!


----------



## littlefairywren

BubbleButtBabe said:


> Hugsss to you ladies that are having such a crappy time in life..To tell you the truth I would not change 1 minute of my life even the times it was in the toilet! I would have missed all the great friends I have made over the years...I would have missed my children and my grandbaby and most of all I would have really missed the last few years I got to spend with my Mom and my brothers..
> 
> I am sorry Kali I know all about loneliness..It was hard getting use to being alone after both my kids left home but now I love it..I find stuff to do and at night I get to watch what I like without a conversation going on....LOL Fill the void with something you like hon,it helps a lot! I play a lot of games on Facebook and sing to my dog..
> 
> Lamia I hope your knee is okay and looking better today..Bless your heart..Wishing you a speedy recovery!
> 
> *IC I am in this zone mentally and it is not a real nice place to be right now...I need to snap out of it so I can clean my house and get out and about since the weather is changing!!*



I love when you pop up Bubble, it always makes me smile to see you here. (((HUGS))) and happy thoughts.


----------



## Fluffy51888

IC that I feel completley invisible sometimes. Sometimes it's nice. Sometimes it's not.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC I am in this zone mentally and it is not a real nice place to be right now...I need to snap out of it so I can clean my house and get out and about since the weather is changing!!



Hope you start to perk up ASAP! 



Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that I feel completley invisible sometimes. Sometimes it's nice. Sometimes it's not.



IC I often feel the same way.

Hugs to you!


----------



## littlefairywren

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that I feel completley invisible sometimes. Sometimes it's nice. Sometimes it's not.



But remember Fluffy, you are never alone....(((hugs)))


----------



## Tau

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that I feel completley invisible sometimes. Sometimes it's nice. Sometimes it's not.



I remember this feeling - it sucks big time. Hope it ends soon - you need to become visible to yourself. I don't want to go all mumbo jumboey on you but if you can see yourself for who and what you are, and not love everything but love the majority of you, even the grotty bits, then you won't feel invisible anymore. The first time I ever felt invisible was in university. All my childhood I was pretty much the centre of attention everywhere - or in my head LOL - and when I got to uni I was alone and unloved for the first time and I felt like I could stab myself in the eye and bleed to death on the side of the road and nobody would notice. So I took a step back, spent an enormouse amount of time with me not being the centre of attention and performing for the whole world, and came out the other end feeling amazing *hugz*


----------



## Tau

I confess to feeling a fairly intense bout of jealousy. We had a guy in our offices like 15 minutes ago doing a presentation. He's twenty fucking five and owns and runs and intensly successful youth research and marketing business with a client base that made me fucking drool. Whilst I feel like a grandma, I turn 28 this year and I'm STILL struggling to get my business to take off like I know it can. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!


----------



## Jes

i confess that i think a LOT of clothing is going to go out to goodwill during this next spring cleaning.


----------



## AuntHen

IC that I have a ton of energy and vibrance and want to dance and sing for hours!!!


----------



## olwen

Punkin1024 said:


> IC that like Tau and Devi, I so often want to just wave a magic wand or step into a doorway to another world and start over. Don't you just wish there was a huge universal "re-do" button that you could hit at least once in your lifetime when you know you've made some huge mistakes that can never be erased? I'm there right now, I know it is depression and hormones messing with my mind, but dang it all, it is still there! All I can say is Ladies, I do so understand and if you ever find that button or doorway - take me along or send it my way!



I actually might hesitate to hit the re-do button cause what if it changes things around so much that while you got something right, something else important went wrong, then you'd have to re-do that...what if it put me in an endless re-do loop where I'm spending all my time trying to fix the past rather than being in the present or looking to the future...that seems kinda scary to me. There are a couple things I wish had gone differently, but I learned from all those mistakes. I wouldn't want to loose that knowledge. Basically I'd be afraid that changing something in the past could cause something worse to happen in the future...guess that would make me a pessimist...


----------



## calauria

I C that I feel very depressed, right now. I only attract those who only want sex or are trying to use me in some way. And, me saying no doesn't matter they will try to even trick me into getting what they want from me. I know that other women go through this same thing...but the thing is is that I don't have supportive people, people that I'm close to, people who love me for me in my life, so I have to deal with all this stress and bad days...etc..etc... all by myself....It's not easy....I don't know how much more I can take...I'm trying my hardest to be strong..but.......


----------



## calauria

Lamia said:


> IC that I hate my legs. They're so ugly. My cat decided to pee on the bathroom floor and I slipped and fell somehow straight down on my left knee. At 425 lbs you can imagine that wasn't an easy fall. My knee actually doesn't hurt that bad because all the fat protected it, but it busted a MILLION blood vessels. It is swollen and zig zagged with veins and vessels and I feel so ugly.
> 
> The worst part about the fall was laying on my back in cat urine and having to wriggle through it to get out of the doorway.



*hugs* hope your knee gets better soon.


----------



## olwen

calauria said:


> I C that I feel very depressed, right now. I only attract those who only want sex or are trying to use me in some way. And, me saying no doesn't matter they will try to even trick me into getting what they want from me. I know that other women go through this same thing...but the thing is is that I don't have supportive people, people that I'm close to, people who love me for me in my life, so I have to deal with all this stress and bad days...etc..etc... all by myself....It's not easy....I don't know how much more I can take...I'm trying my hardest to be strong..but.......



I hate guys like that too. What pisses me off more is that they honestly think we are stupid enough to fall for their ridiculous bullshit. It's almost like they don't think fat girls are worth the effort to even use worthwhile tricks. That is just plain boring. Don't stress over guys like that. They aren't worth the effort. You can always come here and vent and get some virtual hugs.


----------



## calauria

olwen said:


> I hate guys like that too. What pisses me off more is that they honestly think we are stupid enough to fall for their ridiculous bullshit. It's almost like they don't think fat girls are worth the effort to even use worthwhile tricks. That is just plain boring. Don't stress over guys like that. They aren't worth the effort. You can always come here and vent and get some virtual hugs.



Thanks, dear!! I think I'm just gonna put dating on the back burning for a long while, stressing me out too much. It always has. I'm just gonna do my thing and enjoy my life. Does a person really have to have an active dating life to enjoy life to be considered healthy do they?? Even if dating stresses a person out??

I just think life is showing me that being in the dating game is more trouble than it's worth and maybe it is just not for me.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

calauria said:


> I C that I feel very depressed, right now. I only attract those who only want sex or are trying to use me in some way. And, me saying no doesn't matter they will try to even trick me into getting what they want from me. I know that other women go through this same thing...but the thing is is that I don't have supportive people, people that I'm close to, people who love me for me in my life, so I have to deal with all this stress and bad days...etc..etc... all by myself....It's not easy....I don't know how much more I can take...I'm trying my hardest to be strong..but.......



Hugs to you!


----------



## Fluffy51888

IC that I love all of the wonderful ladies on this forum! You guys always lift my spirits and y'all are amazing!!! 

I also confess that I got a haircut today, with those cute little side-swept bangs? And she cut them too short. And they are not cute.


----------



## Tau

calauria said:


> I C that I feel very depressed, right now. I only attract those who only want sex or are trying to use me in some way. And, me saying no doesn't matter they will try to even trick me into getting what they want from me. I know that other women go through this same thing...but the thing is is that I don't have supportive people, people that I'm close to, people who love me for me in my life, so I have to deal with all this stress and bad days...etc..etc... all by myself....It's not easy....I don't know how much more I can take...I'm trying my hardest to be strong..but.......



Big, big hugz chick - thinking of you cos this isnt easy  I'm in the same boat with regards to the booty call characters. All I can say is that my vagina has been on lockdown for a while now just cos all the casual stuff was getting unhealthy. Just stay true to what you feel and what your body and mind want - don't feel pushed into stuff by horny, selfish guys - and we may not be right there with you but if you need to talk Cala, drop me a mail and I'll bitch and moan right along with you


----------



## Jes

I confess that I feel blubbery, today. Very blubbery. FULL of blubber!!


----------



## LovelyLiz

Jes said:


> I confess that I feel blubbery, today. Very blubbery. FULL of blubber!!



This reminds me, I just read a great article about Judy Blume the other day.

Enjoy your jiggly day, Jes.


----------



## Jes

mcbeth said:


> This reminds me, I just read a great article about Judy Blume the other day.
> 
> Enjoy your jiggly day, Jes.



blubbery and piggy, frankly.


----------



## DitzyBrunette

IC that I am really super proud of myself right now. There was a guy who I was dating casually for a while but it never went further and when I realized it wasn't gonna go further it was kinda depressing. I had fallen pretty hard for him so that hurt bad. It took me a long time to get over him because I knew I didn't want to lose him as a friend, but I also knew - despite how I felt for him - that we just don't work as a couple. So, I (selfishly) took a 9 month hiatus from he and I seeing each other, just stopped all contact, but we recently became friends again and we're having a great time being just friends, which a couple of years ago I NEVER would have thought was possible. I truly can't even picture myself kissing this dude anymore, which is great! So, the proud of myself moment is I know a girl who I met on MySpace a few yrs ago and we hadn't talked in a while but I saw her a couple of weeks ago on my friends Facebook and I thought Hmmm.. she and My Guy Friend would be a pretty great match.. and without hesitation I emailed them both to set it up. Like, it doesn't even bother me that someone I cared pretty deeply for would be dating someone that I picked out. It feels really really good to be over him, to be so selfless haha, and to possibly be making two people really happy if it does work out (which I really think it would!)


----------



## calauria

mcbeth said:


> This reminds me, I just read a great article about Judy Blume the other day.
> 
> Enjoy your jiggly day, Jes.



lol!! I love that book!!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

DitzyBrunette said:


> IC that I am really super proud of myself right now. There was a guy who I was dating casually for a while but it never went further and when I realized it wasn't gonna go further it was kinda depressing. I had fallen pretty hard for him so that hurt bad. It took me a long time to get over him because I knew I didn't want to lose him as a friend, but I also knew - despite how I felt for him - that we just don't work as a couple. So, I (selfishly) took a 9 month hiatus from he and I seeing each other, just stopped all contact, but we recently became friends again and we're having a great time being just friends, which a couple of years ago I NEVER would have thought was possible. I truly can't even picture myself kissing this dude anymore, which is great! So, the proud of myself moment is I know a girl who I met on MySpace a few yrs ago and we hadn't talked in a while but I saw her a couple of weeks ago on my friends Facebook and I thought Hmmm.. she and My Guy Friend would be a pretty great match.. and without hesitation I emailed them both to set it up. Like, it doesn't even bother me that someone I cared pretty deeply for would be dating someone that I picked out. It feels really really good to be over him, to be so selfless haha, and to possibly be making two people really happy if it does work out (which I really think it would!)



I liked reading this post....and think that you should be proud of yourself. Very mature and selfless thing you did there. I hope it works out between your friends


----------



## Lamia

mcbeth said:


> Look, I don't know you at all...but you are so awesome! Wriggling through cat urine? Badass. And I'm sure your legs are f-ing hot.



LOL I love this post!!I think I will add this to my 10 steps to being a bad ass #5. Wriggle through cat urine.



MizzSnakeBite said:


> How terrible! What we have to put up with to have our fur babies!! I hope your leg heals quickly! Try to take it easy and be gentle with yourself!
> Hugs,
> Mizz



Thanks!! He’s almost 17 years old and he pees everywhere, but the damn litter box. I love him anyway. *sigh*



calauria said:


> *hugs* hope your knee gets better soon.


*huggles* thank you!!



BubbleButtBabe said:


> Lamia I hope your knee is okay and looking better today..Bless your heart..Wishing you a speedy recovery!



Thank you for wishing me well!!


----------



## DitzyBrunette

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I liked reading this post....and think that you should be proud of yourself. Very mature and selfless thing you did there. I hope it works out between your friends



Thanks :happy: So far so good, I gave them each others phone numbers and they've been chatting for a couple of days now. I told them, I get first pick at front row seats at the wedding


----------



## Punkin1024

olwen said:


> I actually might hesitate to hit the re-do button cause what if it changes things around so much that while you got something right, something else important went wrong, then you'd have to re-do that...what if it put me in an endless re-do loop where I'm spending all my time trying to fix the past rather than being in the present or looking to the future...that seems kinda scary to me. There are a couple things I wish had gone differently, but I learned from all those mistakes. I wouldn't want to loose that knowledge. Basically I'd be afraid that changing something in the past could cause something worse to happen in the future...guess that would make me a pessimist...



Olwen - yup, the "re-do" button is probably a bad idea. However, the stepping into another world and starting over fresh (with the idea that you keep all lessons learned up to that point), might just be the better choice for me. Of course, that is not gonna happen (unless you all know something I don't), so I'm learning to deal with the life I've been given. Sigh!


----------



## Inhibited

IC.. I'm seriously thinking of ordering a snuggie, they have 2 for the price of one offer at the moment....


----------



## Lamia

Inhibited said:


> IC.. I'm seriously thinking of ordering a snuggie, they have 2 for the price of one offer at the moment....



I have a "Nightmare before X-mas" snuggie it's really warm!

IC that I bought my boyfriend and I each a sammich on the way home from work. I bought 2 cinnamon raisin biscuits too. My boyfriend never got his biscuit I handed him his sammich...with a bite out of it. I was so hungry I ate mine, both biscuits and a bite out of his. That is the first stereotypical fat girl thing I've ever done. I felt like Dom Deloise in Fatso when he went to get food and ate it all. My boyfriend laughed when I showed him his sammich. I never told him about the biscuit. 

I feel bad about myself.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Lamia said:


> I have a "Nightmare before X-mas" snuggie it's really warm!
> 
> IC that I bought my boyfriend and I each a sammich on the way home from work. I bought 2 cinnamon raisin biscuits too. My boyfriend never got his biscuit I handed him his sammich...with a bite out of it. I was so hungry I ate mine, both biscuits and a bite out of his. That is the first stereotypical fat girl thing I've ever done. I felt like Dom Deloise in Fatso when he went to get food and ate it all. My boyfriend laughed when I showed him his sammich. I never told him about the biscuit.
> 
> I feel bad about myself.



Don't. The food isn't worth all that emotion....it will never love you back.

Just buy an extra biscuit or sandwich next time


----------



## olwen

Punkin1024 said:


> Olwen - yup, the "re-do" button is probably a bad idea. However, the stepping into another world and starting over fresh (with the idea that you keep all lessons learned up to that point), might just be the better choice for me. Of course, that is not gonna happen (unless you all know something I don't), so I'm learning to deal with the life I've been given. Sigh!



I always just wished we came with a manual with an extensive trouble shooting guide. But I'm sure like any manual there would be problems the manual doesn't cover and it would be obsolete in two years. LOL

I wouldn't want to start my life over again either...it hasn't exactly been filled with sunshine and roses. I keep hoping the future will be better than the past has been...


----------



## Dmitra

IC to being overwhelmed by the usual things in every day life lately and not being able to be as supportive to you, my online friends. Just know that I'm reading and quietly hoping for the best for everyone.

I also confess to killing off the non-anonymous crush thread (apparently). /sigh lol


----------



## LovelyLiz

DameQ said:


> IC to being overwhelmed by the usual things in every day life lately and not being able to be as supportive to you, my online friends. Just know that I'm reading and quietly hoping for the best for everyone.
> 
> I also confess to killing off the non-anonymous crush thread (apparently). /sigh lol



Sorry you're feeling overwhelmed, DameQ. Hope you have some time today to just sit and breathe and be. Hang in there. 

Also, why do you think you killed off the crush thread? I looked at your posts in there, and other than having crushes on what seem to be common choices in these here parts (which you acknowledged), nothing murderous about them... So, eh? They don't seem like thread-kills to me.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Sometimes I enjoy being a bitch.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Don't. The food isn't worth all that emotion....it will never love you back.
> 
> Just buy an extra biscuit or sandwich next time



Listen to The Master, Greenie! :bow:



olwen said:


> I wouldn't want to start my life over again either...it hasn't exactly been filled with sunshine and roses. *I keep hoping the future will be better than the past has been...*



Same here.



DameQ said:


> IC to being overwhelmed by the usual things in every day life lately and not being able to be as supportive to you, my online friends. Just know that I'm reading and quietly hoping for the best for everyone.
> 
> I also confess to killing off the non-anonymous crush thread (apparently). /sigh lol



Sorry to hear that.  I certainly do understand. I've been so scattered and on and off too. Hopefully things will turn up.

I don't think you killed the crush thread!! 



mcbeth said:


> Also, why do you think you killed off the crush thread? I looked at your posts in there, and other than having crushes on what seem to be common choices in these here parts (which you acknowledged), nothing murderous about them... So, eh? They don't seem like thread-kills to me.



Listen to her 



luscious_lulu said:


> Sometimes I enjoy being a bitch.



I do too.


----------



## Tau

luscious_lulu said:


> Sometimes I enjoy being a bitch.



LOL! Me too - it feels awesome unleashing the inner bitch now and then


----------



## Tau

IC that right now I'm actually content. I slept well for the first time in over a month this afternoon and I'm not going to work all week and I'm loved and I adore my little house and I'm watching Battle Star Galactica  Right now life is awesome!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tau said:


> LOL! Me too - it feels awesome unleashing the inner bitch now and then



I sooo agree! 



Tau said:


> IC that right now I'm actually content. I slept for the first time in over a month this afternoon and I'm not going to work all week and I'm loved and I adore my little house and I'm watching Battle Star Galactica  Right now life is awesome!



Wonderful; I'm so happy for you :happy:


----------



## luscious_lulu

I think my cat has diabetes. I'm taking him to the vet tonight.


----------



## KaliCurves

I was sick on Easter and I lost 11 lbs in just a few days. I'm not sure to happy or sad about it....


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

KaliCurves said:


> I was sick on Easter and I lost 11 lbs in just a few days. I'm not sure to happy or sad about it....



If you're anything like me, you will find them again soon enough.....

Sorry you were sick. Hope you're okay now


----------



## KaliCurves

LOL Im sure I will. Eh Im weak, I have been trying to drink lots of water,a nd eat good foods and try and get my strength back. I just feel yucky and tired. I want to sleep *A LOT*


Green Eyed Fairy said:


> If you're anything like me, you will find them again soon enough.....
> 
> Sorry you were sick. Hope you're okay now


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

KaliCurves said:


> LOL Im sure I will. Eh Im weak, I have been trying to drink lots of water,a nd eat good foods and try and get my strength back. I just feel yucky and tired. I want to sleep *A LOT*



Sounds like a good plan- hope you are recovered soon 



IC that this is one of the most beautiful pieces of music I have ever heard in my life. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAO6...859AAF1&playnext_from=PL&playnext=14&index=13


----------



## Fluffy51888

IC that I am completley frustrated with plus size clothing right now.


----------



## kayrae

really excited to see Leah again


----------



## KaliCurves

IC I have to go see a back specialist in a couple hours, and I don't want to go. I know all he is going to do is blame my back issues on my weight. even though I have had back pain since I was in my early teens, and I only weighed 110-130 then. 

IC I might be going through depression. All I want to do is sleep, or the time change really has me messed up still. I don't know what is going on with my body.


----------



## Your Plump Princess

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that I am completley frustrated with plus size clothing right now.


Me too, Me. Too.


----------



## luscious_lulu

KaliCurves said:


> IC I have to go see a back specialist in a couple hours, and I don't want to go. I know all he is going to do is blame my back issues on my weight. even though I have had back pain since I was in my early teens, and I only weighed 110-130 then.
> 
> IC I might be going through depression. All I want to do is sleep, or the time change really has me messed up still. I don't know what is going on with my body.



Don't let the doctor getting away with blaming the pain on your weight.


----------



## littlefairywren

luscious_lulu said:


> I think my cat has diabetes. I'm taking him to the vet tonight.



I hope your pussy cat will be ok lulu....crossing my fingers!


----------



## KaliCurves

He did, He said there is nothing he can do that I need to lose weight. He said its going to be a long slow process. I need to learn to deal with the pain. He said I need to get a Tens unit, and wear it, my insurance wont pay for it. That I need to lost weight, and take a Pilates class, and continue with the pain medication that was prescribed to me. 





luscious_lulu said:


> Don't let the doctor getting away with blaming the pain on your weight.


----------



## nettie

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> IC that this is one of the most beautiful pieces of music I have ever heard in my life.
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAO6...859AAF1&playnext_from=PL&playnext=14&index=13



omg. I so agree with you! I've loved this piece since I first saw _The Piano_.


----------



## luscious_lulu

littlefairywren said:


> I hope your pussy cat will be ok lulu....crossing my fingers!



Thanks, I'm just waiting to hear back about the the test results.


----------



## luscious_lulu

luscious_lulu said:


> Thanks, I'm just waiting to hear back about the the test results.



He has diabetes and will be going on insulin. All things considered I'm ok with it.


----------



## Fat.n.sassy

Tau said:


> LOL! Me too - it feels awesome unleashing the inner bitch now and then



I agree with Tau and Luscious-LuLu! 

In fact on Tuesday I'm quite sure I was fully running on bitch power alone! (that's what it felt like anyway)


----------



## Fluffy51888

IC that I have a totally innocent (okay, maybe not always so innocent ) crush on a guy that has no idea I exist, and who I've never met. I have a boyfriend and am 100% happy. But I can't help but look. Dayuuuuum.


----------



## littlefairywren

luscious_lulu said:


> He has diabetes and will be going on insulin. All things considered I'm ok with it.



Hugs for your kitty...at least you know what was ailing him, and he will have the right care


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

KaliCurves said:


> I was sick on Easter and I lost 11 lbs in just a few days. I'm not sure to happy or sad about it....



Oh my! I hope you're feeling better!



Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that I am completley frustrated with plus size clothing right now.



Same here.




KaliCurves said:


> He did, He said there is nothing he can do that I need to lose weight. He said its going to be a long slow process. I need to learn to deal with the pain. He said I need to get a Tens unit, and wear it, my insurance wont pay for it. That I need to lost weight, and take a Pilates class, and continue with the pain medication that was prescribed to me.



(((HUGS)))

Sometimes if the dr writes a letter to the insurance company saying that such and such is medically necessary, they'll cover it. He might be willing to do that for you regarding the TENS unit.



luscious_lulu said:


> He has diabetes and will be going on insulin. All things considered I'm ok with it.



I'm sure your baby will do just fine! Chin skritches to your puddy tat!


----------



## MisticalMisty

KaliCurves said:


> He did, He said there is nothing he can do that I need to lose weight. He said its going to be a long slow process. I need to learn to deal with the pain. He said I need to get a Tens unit, and wear it, my insurance wont pay for it. That I need to lost weight, and take a Pilates class, and continue with the pain medication that was prescribed to me.



Umm...You may be able to get a good Tens Unit at a pawn shop...or if you know anyone into BDSM...ask them if they know where to get a good, inexpensive one.

Don't ask me how I know..LOL Just trust :blush:


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

MisticalMisty said:


> Umm...You may be able to get a good Tens Unit at a pawn shop...or if you know anyone into BDSM...ask them if they know where to get a good, inexpensive one.
> 
> Don't ask me how I know..LOL Just trust :blush:



<snicker!>


----------



## Crystal

IC that I'm going on 21 years old and I'm sitting on my bed, just out of the shower, still naked with a towel on my head, doing a Disney word search puzzle with a crayon.

Go me. :happy:


----------



## DitzyBrunette

MisticalMisty said:


> or if you know anyone into BDSM...ask them if they know where to get a good, inexpensive one.
> 
> Don't ask me how I know..LOL Just trust :blush:



This IS the confessions thread..


----------



## MisticalMisty

DitzyBrunette said:


> This IS the confessions thread..



HA..lol I'll never tell 


Here is my confession for the night:

I've caught flack over the last few weeks for my decision to move to Texas. You know what..when I look over and see my husband smiling back at me..I know that I made the right decision and I have absolutely no regrets. Times are tough for us right now, but we have a blessing coming. Don't know what, when or how, but I know it's coming.


----------



## Fat.n.sassy

I confess that at a party/bon fire some friends were having, my husband leaned back into me and sighed happily. I said into the group, "Ah, one of the many benefits of having a fat wife!" (got lots of raised eyebrows, but a few knowing smiles too!  )


----------



## Punkin1024

Hello ladies!

Just dropping in for a bit to let you all know that my MIL is going home tomorrow! She had a 2 week stay at the local nursing home and I guess that was enough for her and she really got with it in eating and doing therapy. She is able to walk a little with a walker and will be able to do things for herself. I was amazed to hear the news because I thought she had given up on trying. 
Thank you all for your good thoughts.

I also confess that I miss this place! Hugs to all of you!


----------



## Fat.n.sassy

Punkin1024 said:


> Hello ladies!
> 
> Just dropping in for a bit to let you all know that my MIL is going home tomorrow! She had a 2 week stay at the local nursing home and I guess that was enough for her and she really got with it in eating and doing therapy. She is able to walk a little with a walker and will be able to do things for herself. I was amazed to hear the news because I thought she had given up on trying.
> Thank you all for your good thoughts.
> 
> I also confess that I miss this place! Hugs to all of you!



Congratulations to your MIL! That's great! Do you think she'll continue to do well at home? (((Hugs))) to you too!


----------



## olwen

Punkin1024 said:


> Hello ladies!
> 
> Just dropping in for a bit to let you all know that my MIL is going home tomorrow! She had a 2 week stay at the local nursing home and I guess that was enough for her and she really got with it in eating and doing therapy. She is able to walk a little with a walker and will be able to do things for herself. I was amazed to hear the news because I thought she had given up on trying.
> Thank you all for your good thoughts.
> 
> I also confess that I miss this place! Hugs to all of you!



That's good to hear. Glad she's doing better.


----------



## littlefairywren

Punkin1024 said:


> Hello ladies!
> 
> Just dropping in for a bit to let you all know that my MIL is going home tomorrow! She had a 2 week stay at the local nursing home and I guess that was enough for her and she really got with it in eating and doing therapy. She is able to walk a little with a walker and will be able to do things for herself. I was amazed to hear the news because I thought she had given up on trying.
> Thank you all for your good thoughts.
> 
> I also confess that I miss this place! Hugs to all of you!



That is wonderful news Punkin! ((hugs))


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Punkin1024 said:


> Hello ladies!
> 
> Just dropping in for a bit to let you all know that my MIL is going home tomorrow! She had a 2 week stay at the local nursing home and I guess that was enough for her and she really got with it in eating and doing therapy. She is able to walk a little with a walker and will be able to do things for herself. I was amazed to hear the news because I thought she had given up on trying.
> Thank you all for your good thoughts.
> 
> I also confess that I miss this place! Hugs to all of you!



Oh that's wonderful news, Ella! Hugs right back at you!


----------



## mpls_girl26

MisticalMisty said:


> Umm...You may be able to get a good Tens Unit at a pawn shop...or if you know anyone into BDSM...ask them if they know where to get a good, inexpensive one.
> 
> Don't ask me how I know..LOL Just trust :blush:



And that person may be able to tell you of all the fun and interesting attachments that can be used with the Tens Unit as well. It's amazing the minds of perverts...lol.


----------



## Crystal

IC that Crystal needs some sex.

The end.


----------



## Aust99

Crystal said:


> IC that Crystal needs some sex.
> 
> The end.



 Meee too!!!


----------



## Fluffy51888

Crystal said:


> IC that Crystal needs some sex.
> 
> The end.



LOL. Okay, TWO much needed laughs tonight!


----------



## littlefairywren

Crystal said:


> IC that Crystal needs some sex.
> 
> The end.





Aust99 said:


> Meee too!!!



I need me some action too. My god, do I ever!!  I spotted the most beautiful man in the shops today....and it was all I could do, to not launch myself at him lol.


----------



## Tau

littlefairywren said:


> I need me some action too. My god, do I ever!!  I spotted the most beautiful man in the shops today....and it was all I could do, to not launch myself at him lol.



LOL! I cannot tell you how often I am overcome by this urge 

I confess that all I want to do is lie in bed, cuddle, read, write, watch endless battlestar gallactica and VD and the simpsons and stuff my fat little face regularly *sigh*


----------



## Crystal

IC that I have a HUGE crush on Geof from Ace of Cakes.

Not sure if that goes in line with my last confession or not, but...yeah. :happy:


----------



## Dmitra

I confess I'm worried about seeing my aunt and uncle again despite my excitement. It's been over 25 years since we've seen each other and I've accumulated about 120 lbs since then. My aunt has never been mean about weight but she has been a chronic dieter and I hate disappointing her on any level, even as I've become self-accepting. Been trying to bolster myself up mentally but it's been nagging at me with greater frequency the closer I get to leaving.

On top of that I'm also a little nervous about squashing into the buses for the round trip through Canada but, hey, it'll still be great to see more of the country.


----------



## archivaltype

IC that this weekend was fabulous and it really recharged my lifeless batteries. I feel capable again! :bounce: 

I also confess I'm in that funny everything-reminds-me-of-home mood and maybeeee a I'm a little homesick.


----------



## spiritangel

IC that I am missing snuggling, now that I am single ( and to be honest probably even before that)


----------



## DitzyBrunette

IC.. I listen to Justin Bieber. That's right I said it. His song, Baby, is constantly stuck in my head. He's so adorable and his songs are catchy.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Great news Ella !!!

IC I am so tired after a week with my lil chickadee that I need a vacation! 4 year old have way to much energy!....LOL


----------



## CastingPearls

IC that it's not over. I thought it was but it isn't. And I don't know if that's good or bad.


----------



## Fluffy51888

IC that I haven't seen my boyfriend in almost 3 months, and every time my best friend talks about seeing her boyfriend (who lives a hour and a half away) I turn into an insanely jealous bitch. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it. I'm angry that it's easier for them to see each other than it is for me and my boyfriend.


----------



## DitzyBrunette

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that I haven't seen my boyfriend in almost 3 months, and every time my best friend talks about seeing her boyfriend (who lives a hour and a half away) I turn into an insanely jealous bitch. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it. I'm angry that it's easier for them to see each other than it is for me and my boyfriend.



That sucks, especially being around other happy couples. Where does your bf live?


----------



## Fluffy51888

He lives in NC, but it's a little over 3 hours away. Not too terribly far, but our situations keep us from seeing each other. *sigh*


----------



## littlefairywren

Fluffy51888 said:


> He lives in NC, but it's a little over 3 hours away. Not too terribly far, but our situations keep us from seeing each other. *sigh*



(((Hugs))) little chickadee, one day it will get easier


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that I've not played any games on FB since last Friday night and I'm not feeling any withdrawals. I guess I'm finally figuring out that watching recorded episodes of Leverage gives me sweeter dreams!


----------



## msbard90

IC that today was the best day I've had in the longest time :happy:


----------



## Jes

I confess that I learned how to give cats injections last night and I did a bad job. I had to practice on Stevie, the house cat at the Vet's ofc, and not my own (yay!), and I felt bad. But, the second time I was much better. those poor house cats have to earn their keep! SORRY, STEVIE.


----------



## Weeze

I had the cutest conversation with my mom tonight. It went like this.
I was sitting at the laptop (screen facing a wall away from family) and I chuckled at myself being all over-achieve-y in the bath and body works thread.

Mom: What are you laughing at?
Kris:Oh, i'm just a geek.
Mom: Why? What are you doing?
Kris: There's a thread on a forum i post on about bath and body works and I'm way too excited about it.
Mom: What kind of forum? What are you doing?
Kris: It's one of the fat people forums mom, it's all good. No biggie.
Mom: Why would you talk about bath and body works on there?
Kris: It's just part of the forums that's about anything you want, just without a fat stigma attached.
*At this point, she looks at little confused*
Mom: Oh, ok... well then... I am fat, and I like white citrus. You can tell them.

It was cute  she, FOR ONCE, did not get weird about "the fat people stuff" and was pretty chill about it  

And just so you all know... my mom is fat... and likes white citrus.


----------



## Surlysomething

Weeze said:


> I had the cutest conversation with my mom tonight. It went like this.
> I was sitting at the laptop (screen facing a wall away from family) and I chuckled at myself being all over-achieve-y in the bath and body works thread.
> 
> Mom: What are you laughing at?
> Kris:Oh, i'm just a geek.
> Mom: Why? What are you doing?
> Kris: There's a thread on a forum i post on about bath and body works and I'm way too excited about it.
> Mom: What kind of forum? What are you doing?
> Kris: It's one of the fat people forums mom, it's all good. No biggie.
> Mom: Why would you talk about bath and body works on there?
> Kris: It's just part of the forums that's about anything you want, just without a fat stigma attached.
> *At this point, she looks at little confused*
> Mom: Oh, ok... well then... I am fat, and I like white citrus. You can tell them.
> 
> It was cute  she, FOR ONCE, did not get weird about "the fat people stuff" and was pretty chill about it
> 
> And just so you all know... my mom is fat... and likes white citrus.



Haha. That rocks.

Baby steps for some people, chica.


----------



## Jes

i confess that i'm disappointed that someone just made a somewhat unflattering size comment and I said nothing b/c I just couldn't think of what to say or how to say it. I know I'm gonna stew over this for another few hours...


----------



## LovelyLiz

Jes said:


> i confess that i'm disappointed that someone just made a somewhat unflattering size comment and I said nothing b/c I just couldn't think of what to say or how to say it. I know I'm gonna stew over this for another few hours...


 
That sucks. Sorry, Jes. 
Sometimes I think the worst part is replaying the scene afterward over and over, trying to figure out what the "perfect" response would have been; so we're not caught voiceless again. People can be insensitive jackasses. I hope this person's jackassery is quickly forgotten.
{{{HUGS}}} to you! (fat ones!)


----------



## Jes

mcbeth said:


> That sucks. Sorry, Jes.
> Sometimes I think the worst part is replaying the scene afterward over and over, trying to figure out what the "perfect" response would have been; so we're not caught voiceless again. People can be insensitive jackasses. I hope this person's jackassery is quickly forgotten.
> {{{HUGS}}} to you! (fat ones!)



I think I should simply have said: Wow. That's very intolerant. And I should've left it there. It's not antagonistic, it's not a 'You' statement ('you shouldn't say that' 'you are wrong' whatever) so it's less personal/aggressive. And it doesn't disrupt the flow of the conversation, as there were 2 other people with us, talking about giving gifts. Next time. Next time. I'm not usually speechless.


----------



## msbard90

Jes said:


> I think I should simply have said: Wow. That's very intolerant. And I should've left it there. It's not antagonistic, it's not a 'You' statement ('you shouldn't say that' 'you are wrong' whatever) so it's less personal/aggressive. And it doesn't disrupt the flow of the conversation, as there were 2 other people with us, talking about giving gifts. Next time. Next time. I'm not usually speechless.



I hope there isn't a next time, but if there is, at least you'll know what to say


----------



## luscious_lulu

Weeze said:


> I had the cutest conversation with my mom tonight. It went like this.
> I was sitting at the laptop (screen facing a wall away from family) and I chuckled at myself being all over-achieve-y in the bath and body works thread.
> 
> Mom: What are you laughing at?
> Kris:Oh, i'm just a geek.
> Mom: Why? What are you doing?
> Kris: There's a thread on a forum i post on about bath and body works and I'm way too excited about it.
> Mom: What kind of forum? What are you doing?
> Kris: It's one of the fat people forums mom, it's all good. No biggie.
> Mom: Why would you talk about bath and body works on there?
> Kris: It's just part of the forums that's about anything you want, just without a fat stigma attached.
> *At this point, she looks at little confused*
> Mom: Oh, ok... well then... I am fat, and I like white citrus. You can tell them.
> 
> It was cute  she, FOR ONCE, did not get weird about "the fat people stuff" and was pretty chill about it
> 
> And just so you all know... my mom is fat... and likes white citrus.



Too cute! I'm glad she is coming around.


----------



## Surlysomething

I confess to struggling with my weight right now. Especially my emotional/destructive eating habits. I wish I could stop the train wreck that it is but I usually only realize what i've done after i've done it.

I don't want to be skinny or anything, but I would like to take off this 20 lbs of anger and disappointment that I gained in the last 6 months.

I confess to also buying a really cute new red shirt, comfy black athletic capris and new panties! I still like to look good.


----------



## msbard90

Surlysomething said:


> I confess to struggling with my weight right now. Especially my emotional/destructive eating habits. I wish I could stop the train wreck that it is but I usually only realize what i've done after i've done it.
> 
> I don't want to be skinny or anything, but I would like to take off this 20 lbs of anger and disappointment that I gained in the last 6 months.
> 
> I confess to also buying a really cute new red shirt, comfy black athletic capris and new panties! I still like to look good.



Surly,
I know you look beautiful at any size, but if you want to lose some weight, a good way to let loose of stress is by being active, like taking a walk (you know, I don't need to explain lol). It helps me out a lot. 
xoxo


----------



## Lamia

I confess that in 5th grade I called Michelle G and told her that Scott W broke up with her so they would break up. It turns out they just talked the next day and were back together. No one knew who called. I was smart and watched TV and put a sock over the mouth piece and changed my voice. They blamed it on two other people. I never fessed up until now. 

:blush::doh:

god I was so lame.


----------



## msbard90

Lamia said:


> I confess that in 5th grade I called Michelle G and told her that Scott W broke up with her so they would break up. It turns out they just talked the next day and were back together. No one knew who called. I was smart and watched TV and put a sock over the mouth piece and changed my voice. They blamed it on two other people. I never fessed up until now.
> 
> :blush::doh:
> 
> god I was so lame.




LOL how funny!


----------



## Saoirse

Lamia said:


> I confess that in 5th grade I called Michelle G and told her that Scott W broke up with her so they would break up. It turns out they just talked the next day and were back together. No one knew who called. I was smart and watched TV and put a sock over the mouth piece and changed my voice. They blamed it on two other people. I never fessed up until now.
> 
> :blush::doh:
> 
> god I was so lame.



Its cool. In 9th grade, my bff and I somehow broke up our two friends that were dating, cause I was crushin' on the guy. :blush: All that, and I never did go out with him!

edit- and I never got to go out with him cause he was foolin' around with my bff... who is a gay boy. HAHAHAHA!


----------



## jdsumm

IC I had to stop giving my trust to my best friend of the past 11 years. IC it was very hard for me to do. IC I can be overly trusting, I forgive easily, and I don't hold grudges-I know those are all very good things and I don't want to stop being that way-but at some point I have to stop sharing my trust and good, bad, and ugly of who I am with someone who violates that trust and twists my weaknesses against me for their own gain. I guess today is that day. IC doing the right thing isn't always easy. I am going to miss him, especially all the laughter we share. UGH what at depressing post. IC I gotta start posting around here more often, and not just when I am bumming out or irritated.


----------



## msbard90

(I know I'm gonna get a lot of flack for this.. .hope not though....)
IC that men suck. I should just be a lesbian because the amount of guys that have let me down is sickening....


----------



## spiritangel

Hugs jdsmum its never easy to let people out of our lives we care for, but sometimes its necessary for our self preservation 


IC I have been spinning around my room in my new dress like a little girl who has just gotten her first party dress, and I cant stop looking at it hanging on the wardrobe and being soo happy that it really does fit meaning I have lost weight and kept it off yay (not aiming for loosing weight but sure helps when buying clothes)


----------



## Weeze

msbard90 said:


> IC that men suck. I should just be a lesbian



forgive me if i'm being sensitive, but i hate hate hate when women say this. i really feel like it's demeaning to the experiences of a lesbian/queer woman.


----------



## LovelyLiz

msbard90 said:


> (I know I'm gonna get a lot of flack for this.. .hope not though....)
> IC that men suck. I should just be a lesbian because the amount of guys that have let me down is sickening....



I totally relate to that at times, in terms of feeling like my female friends are able to be there for me in ways that guys in my life usually can't be (tho I do have a couple stellar guy friends who consistently rock hard). But then guys in my life sometimes pull through in different ways. I dunno. 

I agree with Weeze that the lesbian angle is not a good way to express it tho, so I'm glad she said something. Still, I get the sentiment behind it, and I'm truly sorry you've been let down. Hang in there, chica.


----------



## msbard90

Weeze said:


> forgive me if i'm being sensitive, but i hate hate hate when women say this. i really feel like it's demeaning to the experiences of a lesbian/queer woman.



Well, if you have read previous posts of mine, not saying you did, have to, or ever will, but I do consider myself bisexual, have had female partners, etc. So before you decide what's being demeaning, you should probably do your research. Just saying.


----------



## gobettiepurple

*I confess that I feel ugly sometimes. 

I confess that I am a virgin and I am not sure if I will ever be able to change that. 

I confess that I have a problem with intimacy [whether it is kissing or having a deep conversation with someone]. 

I confess that I have trouble making friends and being in crowds.

I confess that I think that I am unworthy of being loved. 

And I confess that I really blame my mother for a lot of the reasons behind these feelings. 

I also have to confess that I love these boards for giving me the power to say such things and not have to worry about being judged, because I confess that I feel like I am being judged everyday in my life and that even though I love myself, I confess that I think people are thinking the worst of me.

Wooh . . . that was totally a weight off my shoulders, thanks everyone for being brave and showing me that I too can be brave!*


----------



## Dmitra

Thank you for trusting us all enough to share your feelings. It's for sure a scary thing to do! Each step you take towards loving yourself and being happy in your skin can be difficult yet you can do it. 



gobettiepurple said:


> *I confess that I feel ugly sometimes.
> 
> I confess that I am a virgin and I am not sure if I will ever be able to change that.
> 
> I confess that I have a problem with intimacy [whether it is kissing or having a deep conversation with someone].
> 
> I confess that I have trouble making friends and being in crowds.
> 
> I confess that I think that I am unworthy of being loved.
> 
> And I confess that I really blame my mother for a lot of the reasons behind these feelings.
> 
> I also have to confess that I love these boards for giving me the power to say such things and not have to worry about being judged, because I confess that I feel like I am being judged everyday in my life and that even though I love myself, I confess that I think people are thinking the worst of me.
> 
> Wooh . . . that was totally a weight off my shoulders, thanks everyone for being brave and showing me that I too can be brave!*


----------



## CastingPearls

gobettiepurple said:


> *I confess that I feel ugly sometimes.
> 
> I confess that I am a virgin and I am not sure if I will ever be able to change that.
> 
> I confess that I have a problem with intimacy [whether it is kissing or having a deep conversation with someone].
> 
> I confess that I have trouble making friends and being in crowds.
> 
> I confess that I think that I am unworthy of being loved.
> 
> And I confess that I really blame my mother for a lot of the reasons behind these feelings.
> 
> I also have to confess that I love these boards for giving me the power to say such things and not have to worry about being judged, because I confess that I feel like I am being judged everyday in my life and that even though I love myself, I confess that I think people are thinking the worst of me.
> 
> Wooh . . . that was totally a weight off my shoulders, thanks everyone for being brave and showing me that I too can be brave!*


That was a very brave thing to do. If I had any rep to spread around I'd give it to you. Anyone got any spare rep????


----------



## hal84

gobettiepurple said:


> *I confess that I feel ugly sometimes.
> 
> I confess that I am a virgin and I am not sure if I will ever be able to change that.
> 
> I confess that I have a problem with intimacy [whether it is kissing or having a deep conversation with someone].
> 
> I confess that I have trouble making friends and being in crowds.
> 
> I confess that I think that I am unworthy of being loved.
> 
> And I confess that I really blame my mother for a lot of the reasons behind these feelings.
> 
> I also have to confess that I love these boards for giving me the power to say such things and not have to worry about being judged, because I confess that I feel like I am being judged everyday in my life and that even though I love myself, I confess that I think people are thinking the worst of me.
> 
> Wooh . . . that was totally a weight off my shoulders, thanks everyone for being brave and showing me that I too can be brave!*



Alot of people have emotional resevation to there own self worth, I know because I have experinced those same concerns and issues in my life at one time or another. Just remember that life does continue and that you are a pretty awesome person (I know I don't know you, but I think everyone kinda kicks ass in someway) and things always get better. And don't worry about the virgin thing, it's about the quality of the partners not the quanity!


----------



## jdsumm

spiritangel said:


> Hugs jdsmum its never easy to let people out of our lives we care for, but sometimes its necessary for our self preservation
> 
> 
> Thanks for the hugs!


----------



## CastingPearls

jdsumm said:


> spiritangel said:
> 
> 
> 
> Hugs jdsmum its never easy to let people out of our lives we care for, but sometimes its necessary for our self preservation
> 
> 
> Thanks for the hugs!
> 
> 
> 
> Amen and hallellujah
Click to expand...


----------



## MisticalMisty

I am finally employed again..start on Monday. Whew!


----------



## Surlysomething

MisticalMisty said:


> I am finally employed again..start on Monday. Whew!



That's awesome, congrats! Being jobless is so scary...i'm glad you're back on the wagon.


----------



## MisticalMisty

Surlysomething said:


> That's awesome, congrats! Being jobless is so scary...i'm glad you're back on the wagon.



Thank you! I appreciate it.


----------



## Tania

Great news, Misty! That makes me happy!


----------



## Weeze

msbard90 said:


> Well, if you have read previous posts of mine, not saying you did, have to, or ever will, but I do consider myself bisexual, have had female partners, etc. So before you decide what's being demeaning, you should probably do your research. Just saying.



Well, that *really* makes me confused by what you said then... ya know, JUST SAYING.


----------



## littlefairywren

gobettiepurple said:


> *I confess that I feel ugly sometimes.
> 
> I confess that I am a virgin and I am not sure if I will ever be able to change that.
> 
> I confess that I have a problem with intimacy [whether it is kissing or having a deep conversation with someone].
> 
> I confess that I have trouble making friends and being in crowds.
> 
> I confess that I think that I am unworthy of being loved.
> 
> And I confess that I really blame my mother for a lot of the reasons behind these feelings.
> 
> I also have to confess that I love these boards for giving me the power to say such things and not have to worry about being judged, because I confess that I feel like I am being judged everyday in my life and that even though I love myself, I confess that I think people are thinking the worst of me.
> 
> Wooh . . . that was totally a weight off my shoulders, thanks everyone for being brave and showing me that I too can be brave!*



Welcome to the boards gobettiepurple! Kudos for sharing and putting it out there, I know it can be a hard thing to do. 



MisticalMisty said:


> I am finally employed again..start on Monday. Whew!



Oooh, congrats to you Misty! That is excellent news


----------



## MisticalMisty

Thanks for the well wishes everyone. I appreciate them.


----------



## Crystal

IC that I just did yoga for the very first time. My roommate is into it hugely and convinced me to do a session with her.

It was a beginner DVD and it kicked my ass!

Someone who has HUGE boobs, huge hips, and a huge belly is not meant to do yoga. I'll keep trying it, though.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Crystal said:


> IC that I just did yoga for the very first time. My roommate is into it hugely and convinced me to do a session with her.
> 
> It was a beginner DVD and it kicked my ass!
> 
> Someone who has HUGE boobs, huge hips, and a huge belly is not meant to do yoga. I'll keep trying it, though.



Good on you for giving it a try! I have a DVD called "Just My Size" yoga that works for me.


----------



## gobettiepurple

mcbeth said:


> Good on you for giving it a try! I have a DVD called "Just My Size" yoga that works for me.



*I love that DVD! Megan Garcia has her own yoga program on the East coast - she even teaches workshops for beginners and teachers on how to modify yoga positions for larger bodies. You can also try her book on yoga. Its awesome!*


----------



## Fluffy51888

IC that here lately I feel really ugly and fat (not in a good way) and inferior. Please don't think I'm saying this to get compliments or sympathy, because I'm not. I just not sure what's going on with me lately, and it's not a good feeling.


----------



## CastingPearls

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that here lately I feel really ugly and fat (not in a good way) and inferior. Please don't think I'm saying this to get compliments or sympathy, because I'm not. I just not sure what's going on with me lately, and it's not a good feeling.


I'm sorry you feel this way. I would say most of us have felt that way. There's nothing wromg with venting though...that's part of what we're here for.


----------



## Crystal

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that here lately I feel really ugly and fat (not in a good way) and inferior. Please don't think I'm saying this to get compliments or sympathy, because I'm not. I just not sure what's going on with me lately, and it's not a good feeling.



We all have these days. I'm speculating here, but I think a lot of fat girls feel this way at least every now and then.

It's unpleasant and I wish it didn't happen, but it does.  I'm sorry. Just know that you ARE beautiful. (I know you said you weren't asking for compliments, but I wanted to throw that in there. )


----------



## gobettiepurple

*That I have a crush, but its totally irrational and I am afraid that I am making too much out of it like I always do!*


----------



## spiritangel

gobettiepurple said:


> *That I have a crush, but its totally irrational and I am afraid that I am making too much out of it like I always do!*



Huggles I know that feeling all to well at pressent, I hope your crush returns the feelings and if not as a good friend says there are lots of frogs to kiss before we find the right prince for us


----------



## littlefairywren

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that here lately I feel really ugly and fat (not in a good way) and inferior. Please don't think I'm saying this to get compliments or sympathy, because I'm not. I just not sure what's going on with me lately, and it's not a good feeling.



Elaine and Crystal are right hon, we all have those days and they completely suck! ((((Hugs)))) my sweet


----------



## LovelyLiz

gobettiepurple said:


> *That I have a crush, but its totally irrational and I am afraid that I am making too much out of it like I always do!*



Girl, I know what this is like! You'll have to tell me about it tomorrow!


----------



## luscious_lulu

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that here lately I feel really ugly and fat (not in a good way) and inferior. Please don't think I'm saying this to get compliments or sympathy, because I'm not. I just not sure what's going on with me lately, and it's not a good feeling.




(((hugs))) We all have those days. Just keep telling yourself (even if you don't believe it at the moment) that you are a beautiful, fun, loving person. Eventually you will start to believe it. 



gobettiepurple said:


> *That I have a crush, but its totally irrational and I am afraid that I am making too much out of it like I always do!*



Don't worry about if it's irrational. Enjoy the feeling and take a chance. Oh, and keep us update!


----------



## gobettiepurple

*That if it is even possible, I have a food hangover from the best pizza in the world . . . ugh, its going to be a long day and hopefully I will feel better for some fun tonight!*


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that I still am not playing the games on FB. Instead, I'm beginning to get back into communicating with my friends. 

Misty - great news on the job front!!! I am so happy for you!


----------



## Fluffy51888

Thank you, everyone, for the amazing comments and rep y'all have sent my way. You guys always say the right thing, and always make me feel better. Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. You ladies are wonderful.


----------



## MisticalMisty

Punkin1024 said:


> IC that I still am not playing the games on FB. Instead, I'm beginning to get back into communicating with my friends.
> 
> Misty - great news on the job front!!! I am so happy for you!



Thanks Punkin! I appreciate it.


----------



## CastingPearls

IC that I just got a serious hard-sell on starring in porn. I LMAO as he tried to get me to put my husband on the phone. Spouse tells the guy I'll do it as long as I don't have sex with anyone but Spouse. Guy LOL and pisses off Spouse. I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe. Checked out guy on internet--he's serious and offered me 70K, plus all expenses and private jet travel. I still tell him bye-bye.

Then he IM's me and gives me his phone# and yahoo messenger. Tells me I'm shy. No, I just have self-esteem. My best friend (a BBW too) who's hanging out with me is losing her freaking mind. I say to her NOW DO YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT???

I haven't had this much fun in months. OMG!


----------



## Ruffie

I confess to being jealous of the skinny beautiful gals who get to dance, get drinks bought for them. Watching a bar full of them the other night, even though out with good friends, and we were having a good time laughing and watching my buddies band reminded me of the past. The fat girl sitting babysitting the purses while everyone else had a good time.


----------



## CastingPearls

Ruffie said:


> I confess to being jealous of the skinny beautiful gals who get to dance, get drinks bought for them. Watching a bar full of them the other night, even though out with good friends, and we were having a good time laughing and watching my buddies band reminded me of the past. The fat girl sitting babysitting the purses while everyone else had a good time.


Awww hon, if you were closer I'd show you what the fat girls are very capable of. I've never paid for a drink in my life. And when I laugh the whole room stops and smiles.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Ruffie said:


> I confess to being jealous of the skinny beautiful gals who get to dance, get drinks bought for them. Watching a bar full of them the other night, even though out with good friends, and we were having a good time laughing and watching my buddies band reminded me of the past. The fat girl sitting babysitting the purses while everyone else had a good time.



Ugh, that is such a crappy feeling! What a thing to be reminded of, Ruffie! Hope that didn't put too big a damper on the evening overall. 

I spent my 20s working hard to avoid being in that scenario. But then - I went last night to a size acceptance night club in my area, and it was fun to see beautiful, sexily dressed fat women getting the attention they deserve.


----------



## Fat Brian

CastingPearls said:


> IC that I just got a serious hard-sell on starring in porn. I LMAO as he tried to get me to put my husband on the phone. Spouse tells the guy I'll do it as long as I don't have sex with anyone but Spouse. Guy LOL and pisses off Spouse. I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe. Checked out guy on internet--he's serious and offered me 70K, plus all expenses and private jet travel. I still tell him bye-bye.
> 
> Then he IM's me and gives me his phone# and yahoo messenger. Tells me I'm shy. No, I just have self-esteem. My best friend (a BBW too) who's hanging out with me is losing her freaking mind. I say to her NOW DO YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT???
> 
> I haven't had this much fun in months. OMG!




This reminds me of the fun I used to have on my wife's myspace account. The guys constantly hit on her, two or three a day. This one guy just would not take the hint, she kept telling she was married for days but he said he didn't care. Finally I sat down and replied " my husband says you're pretty cute, he said he might be interested in a three way if you don't mind taking it in the butt." We never heard from him again.


----------



## spiritangel

Ruffie said:


> I confess to being jealous of the skinny beautiful gals who get to dance, get drinks bought for them. Watching a bar full of them the other night, even though out with good friends, and we were having a good time laughing and watching my buddies band reminded me of the past. The fat girl sitting babysitting the purses while everyone else had a good time.



That sooo used to be me, but then I heard the leanne womack song I hope you dance, won free tickets to an invertigo (sadly they are no more) gig promised my sister I would dance for one song, erm we never made it back to our table till the gig was over and so now I dance and dont care what anyone thinks

but it can be hard I remember feeling quite self conscious as an early teen cause a boy copied how I was dancing with my cousin (who is mentally handicapped) and then he hit on me and I erm :blush::blush::blush: elbowed him in the stomach, for some reason I had it in my head even at that age that I was unattractive to boys and he was doing it for a dare or some such, might have been cause I saw his friends pointing and laughing or some such but yeah that kind of turned me off dancing in public


----------



## msbard90

spiritangel said:


> That sooo used to be me, but then I heard the leanne womack song I hope you dance, won free tickets to an invertigo (sadly they are no more) gig promised my sister I would dance for one song, erm we never made it back to our table till the gig was over and so now I dance and dont care what anyone thinks
> 
> but it can be hard I remember feeling quite self conscious as an early teen cause a boy copied how I was dancing with my cousin (who is mentally handicapped) and then he hit on me and I erm :blush::blush::blush: elbowed him in the stomach, for some reason I had it in my head even at that age that I was unattractive to boys and he was doing it for a dare or some such, might have been cause I saw his friends pointing and laughing or some such but yeah that kind of turned me off dancing in public



Oh wow that's awful . I'm sorry that stuff like that has to happen. (((((hugs)))))

IC that I buy new porn. All the time.


----------



## Ruffie

CastingPearls said:


> Awww hon, if you were closer I'd show you what the fat girls are very capable of. I've never paid for a drink in my life. And when I laugh the whole room stops and smiles.



Oh I had a great time and the guys in the band were a little too close to the mike when they said to each other wow can tell Ruthy is here(i have a very loud and boisterous laugh). I had a great time and am married so don't need the drinks from guys with an agenda. I was out with some of my favourite people in the world, listening to good music, munching out, joking and laughing and having a few drinks. It just made me think back to the old days before I was confident and had an attitude, seeing the other big gals being ignored and the "bar stars" reaping the benefits ya know? I had my little green eyed moment and moved on LOL!


----------



## gobettiepurple

*
I confess that in my life, both romantic and otherwise:

When it rains, it pours . . . *


----------



## kristineirl

I confess that no matter how many compliments i may receive, I'll always feel like i'm not as beautiful as the woman next to me, regardless of her size. 

I confess that i've only had one meaningful friendship with a girl, because women, in general, are threatening to me. 

_phew._


----------



## indy500tchr

gobettiepurple said:


> *
> I confess that in my life, both romantic and otherwise:
> 
> When it rains, it pours . . . *



AGREED! It's such a pain in the butt.


----------



## Jes

took a wonderful vacation with a wonderful person. pushed through some of my personal boundaries. laughed like i haven't laughed in a long time. am now going to do my best to face some of the things i need to deal with at home.


----------



## gobettiepurple

*That I went out with one of my girl "friends" and she left me at the bar to go with some random guy because she was too drunk to drive us home! 

I had to go home with random strangers [who were super nice by the way] and wait for my brother to pick me up!

I am never going out with that girl again . . . I also really love my brother for putting up with all of my crazy drunkeness. Next time, I think I will stick to like a three drink minimum.

I used to think that I had low self esteem when it came to guys . . . but she totally takes the cake! I would never leave a friend just for some random hook up, that is just trashy.*


----------



## archivaltype

I confess this boy I've met is both beautiful and terrifying. He's hit my life like a ton of bricks and I'm not really sure what to make of all this. 
I wish I could trust people easily. It takes me forever to trust someone even a little bit. Bah! :doh:


----------



## Tracyarts

" Finally I sat down and replied " my husband says you're pretty cute, he said he might be interested in a three way if you don't mind taking it in the butt." We never heard from him again. "

ROFLMAO! I have done the same thing a number of times. And never heard from any of them again.

But yeah, I get guys hit on me online all the time. Usually I just ignore them because "not interested" isn't good enough. They want to know why. I say because I'm already in a relationship. They say I can be your man on the side. I say it's a committed relationship. They say so what, he doesn't have to know about it. And that just makes me feel yucky and wonder what the hell is wrong with people.

Tracy


----------



## msbard90

IC, and no I don't know where I ever thought of this, but for many years, until about 3 days ago, always thought LMFAO was "laughing my fat ass off". I didn't understand why all my skinny friends were writing it on their facebook, and I didn't understand why so many people are saying they have a fat ass lol. I felt very "blonde" (no offense anyone, seriously) when I learned what it really meant.


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC that this guy I have been developing a little crush on (in real life!!!) said in our class tonight that we should get coffee sometime. I'm kind of dumbfounded and awestruck and in disbelief. But it also feels fun and exciting.


----------



## Lamia

I confess that I've used sex to get my boyfriend to get off the computer knowing that he will fall asleep for a couple of hours and then I can have the puter all to myself.  I only did it a couple of times because I felt so guilty, but my guild needed me we were camping a tree...


----------



## Vespertine

mcbeth said:


> IC that this guy I have been developing a little crush on (in real life!!!) said in our class tonight that we should get coffee sometime. I'm kind of dumbfounded and awestruck and in disbelief. But it also feels fun and exciting.



Oooh girl! I hope it goes awesomely 

IC I think about shooting the pterodactyl sounding thing that screeches all night and scares the crap out of me. The mockingbirds too. I feel guilt about it tbh.


----------



## littlefairywren

mcbeth said:


> IC that this guy I have been developing a little crush on (in real life!!!) said in our class tonight that we should get coffee sometime. I'm kind of dumbfounded and awestruck and in disbelief. But it also feels fun and exciting.



Woot...fingers crossed that you do go for that coffee, and he turns out to be superb! And we so want the details!


----------



## LovelyLiz

Vespertine said:


> Oooh girl! I hope it goes awesomely





littlefairywren said:


> Woot...fingers crossed that you do go for that coffee, and he turns out to be superb! And we so want the details!



Thanks, ladies. You rock.  If he doesn't contact me this week, I'll mention it in class next week. (Or should I send a casual follow up in a couple days?) It was so funny, because I was talking to a friend who said I should ask him out for coffee, since he definitely engages with me and my ideas a lot during class, but I really wanted HIM to ask me. 
But then there was a part of me that thought, "You know, that just doesn't happen to fat girls like me. Only the thin, pretty girls have guys they like in real life take an interest in them. Girls like me have to put in all the effort if they want to be with a guy - because the guys won't think it's worth expending the effort." I realize it's totally false in my head, but sometimes I still believe that down in my gut, you know?
So this turn of events was kind of shocking to me. In a good way.


----------



## LovelyLiz

mcbeth said:


> Thanks, ladies. You rock.  If he doesn't contact me this week, I'll mention it in class next week. (Or should I send a casual follow up in a couple days?) It was so funny, because I was talking to a friend who said I should ask him out for coffee, since he definitely engages with me and my ideas a lot during class, but I really wanted HIM to ask me.
> But then there was a part of me that thought, "You know, that just doesn't happen to fat girls like me. Only the thin, pretty girls have guys they like in real life take an interest in them. Girls like me have to put in all the effort if they want to be with a guy - because the guys won't think it's worth expending the effort." I realize it's totally false in my head, but sometimes I still believe that down in my gut, you know?
> So this turn of events was kind of shocking to me. In a good way.



Okay. Never mind. Forget everything. I just logged into our school's system to get his email, and saw on his profile that he is "recently engaged." I swear that last week it still said "single" so he must just not have updated it for a while. I guess he really did just want to hang out as friends. Sigh. I feel like a total idiot now. Let's just pretend this whole thing never happened.


----------



## CastingPearls

mcbeth said:


> Okay. Never mind. Forget everything. I just logged into our school's system to get his email, and saw on his profile that he is "recently engaged." I swear that last week it still said "single" so he must just not have updated it for a while. I guess he really did just want to hang out as friends. Sigh. I feel like a total idiot now. Let's just pretend this whole thing never happened.


I feel your disappointment but maybe you could look at it as practice for when more available ones come along. I've experienced that myself...madly in love with a pharmacist who actually did lead me on then after I wrote an embarrassingly heartfelt letter, told me he was engaged to be married in three months.....oh the pain...I felt so foolish...but then I came to see that he just removed himself from the the pool of available men and I was better off. I don't even regret the letter. My feelings were valid, just misdirected.


----------



## gobettiepurple

mcbeth said:


> Okay. Never mind. Forget everything. I just logged into our school's system to get his email, and saw on his profile that he is "recently engaged." I swear that last week it still said "single" so he must just not have updated it for a while. I guess he really did just want to hang out as friends. Sigh. I feel like a total idiot now. Let's just pretend this whole thing never happened.



*OMG the charlatan! the rake! lol, I never get to use those words anymore!

You are much better off before something happened between you two. Now he can just be a friend, which is a consolation prize i suppose.

I hate to sound clique, but there are plenty of fish in the sea and you deserve waaaayy better!

I am totally buying you a drink tomorrow . . . *


----------



## Vespertine

mcbeth said:


> Thanks, ladies. You rock.  If he doesn't contact me this week, I'll mention it in class next week. (Or should I send a casual follow up in a couple days?) It was so funny, because I was talking to a friend who said I should ask him out for coffee, since he definitely engages with me and my ideas a lot during class, but I really wanted HIM to ask me.
> But then there was a part of me that thought, "You know, that just doesn't happen to fat girls like me. Only the thin, pretty girls have guys they like in real life take an interest in them. Girls like me have to put in all the effort if they want to be with a guy - because the guys won't think it's worth expending the effort." I realize it's totally false in my head, but sometimes I still believe that down in my gut, you know?
> So this turn of events was kind of shocking to me. In a good way.



If you need to bring it up, I'd say do it in person though honestly I'm pretty dumb with things like that. Your gut will adjust, this is how life _should_ work. Lord knows it can't work like that if someone didn't have the confidence to interact with a crush in a way that really expresses oneself! It does happen to pretty fat girls just like you, every day 

Updates plz


----------



## LovelyLiz

Vespertine said:


> If you need to bring it up, I'd say do it in person though honestly I'm pretty dumb with things like that. Your gut will adjust, this is how life _should_ work. Lord knows it can't work like that if someone didn't have the confidence to interact with a crush in a way that really expresses oneself! It does happen to pretty fat girls just like you, every day
> 
> Updates plz



Here's the update...



mcbeth said:


> Okay. Never mind. Forget everything. I just logged into our school's system to get his email, and saw on his profile that he is "recently engaged." I swear that last week it still said "single" so he must just not have updated it for a while. I guess he really did just want to hang out as friends. Sigh. I feel like a total idiot now. Let's just pretend this whole thing never happened.



He definitely was flirting, there is definitely chemistry, but clearly it's not going anywhere. The mean voices in my head are definitely saying a lot of, "See! We told you!" Sigh. 

But I'm going to be around great friends tonight, and throughout the weeekend, so I'll snap out of it.


----------



## msbard90

mcbeth said:


> Here's the update...
> 
> 
> 
> He definitely was flirting, there is definitely chemistry, but clearly it's not going anywhere. The mean voices in my head are definitely saying a lot of, "See! We told you!" Sigh.
> 
> But I'm going to be around great friends tonight, and throughout the weeekend, so I'll snap out of it.



That's what I hate the most--- people who lead me on. I get so excited for what seems to be something fantastic, but in reality, is never going to happen. Have fun over the weekend and just keep your head high!


----------



## Vespertine

mcbeth said:


> Here's the update...
> 
> 
> 
> He definitely was flirting, there is definitely chemistry, but clearly it's not going anywhere. The mean voices in my head are definitely saying a lot of, "See! We told you!" Sigh.
> 
> But I'm going to be around great friends tonight, and throughout the weeekend, so I'll snap out of it.



Oh sorry :doh:

Sounds like he needs to grow up some more


----------



## littlefairywren

mcbeth said:


> Okay. Never mind. Forget everything. I just logged into our school's system to get his email, and saw on his profile that he is "recently engaged." I swear that last week it still said "single" so he must just not have updated it for a while. I guess he really did just want to hang out as friends. Sigh. I feel like a total idiot now. Let's just pretend this whole thing never happened.





mcbeth said:


> Here's the update...
> 
> 
> 
> He definitely was flirting, there is definitely chemistry, but clearly it's not going anywhere. The mean voices in my head are definitely saying a lot of, "See! We told you!" Sigh.
> 
> But I'm going to be around great friends tonight, and throughout the weeekend, so I'll snap out of it.



Sorry hon, what a let down. I hate when they give you the signals, and then you find out stuff like "oh yeah, I have a GIRLFRIEND"! Well he is a complete ass then, and he needs a slap up-side the head!


----------



## spiritangel

awww huggles, that totally sux, just remember whilst sometimes they may be hard to find there are amazing guys out there who will love you for you

and in the meantime you have lots of siterly love all around you

Big squishy Hugs


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Punkin1024 said:


> Hello ladies!
> 
> Just dropping in for a bit to let you all know that my MIL is going home tomorrow! She had a 2 week stay at the local nursing home and I guess that was enough for her and she really got with it in eating and doing therapy. She is able to walk a little with a walker and will be able to do things for herself. I was amazed to hear the news because I thought she had given up on trying.
> Thank you all for your good thoughts.
> 
> I also confess that I miss this place! Hugs to all of you!



I'm so glad she's doing well! I hope she continues to improve!



DameQ said:


> I confess I'm worried about seeing my aunt and uncle again despite my excitement. It's been over 25 years since we've seen each other and I've accumulated about 120 lbs since then. My aunt has never been mean about weight but she has been a chronic dieter and I hate disappointing her on any level, even as I've become self-accepting. Been trying to bolster myself up mentally but it's been nagging at me with greater frequency the closer I get to leaving.
> 
> On top of that I'm also a little nervous about squashing into the buses for the round trip through Canada but, hey, it'll still be great to see more of the country.



I always feel the same way when I see my family. In some ways, I'm glad we're all so far apart since there are so many fat-phobic members of my extended family. When I was a teen, one even joked saying I should become bulimic. I found out later that one of her slender daughters was bulimic. 



gobettiepurple said:


> *[F]I confess that I feel ugly sometimes.
> 
> I confess that I am a virgin and I am not sure if I will ever be able to change that.
> 
> I confess that I have a problem with intimacy [whether it is kissing or having a deep conversation with someone].
> 
> I confess that I have trouble making friends and being in crowds.
> 
> I confess that I think that I am unworthy of being loved.
> 
> And I confess that I really blame my mother for a lot of the reasons behind these feelings.
> 
> I also have to confess that I love these boards for giving me the power to say such things and not have to worry about being judged, because I confess that I feel like I am being judged everyday in my life and that even though I love myself, I confess that I think people are thinking the worst of me.
> 
> Wooh . . . that was totally a weight off my shoulders, thanks everyone for being brave and showing me that I too can be brave![/FONT]*



Hugs and super props to you! :bow:



MisticalMisty said:


> I am finally employed again..start on Monday. Whew!



Fantastic news Misty! I hope everything is going well at your new job!



Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that here lately I feel really ugly and fat (not in a good way) and inferior. Please don't think I'm saying this to get compliments or sympathy, because I'm not. I just not sure what's going on with me lately, and it's not a good feeling.



Aww sweetie! We've all been through this and completely understand. In fact, I'm going through a looooooooong period right now like that. You're beautiful and vivacious! 



kristineirl said:


> I confess that no matter how many compliments i may receive, I'll always feel like i'm not as beautiful as the woman next to me, regardless of her size.
> 
> I confess that i've only had one meaningful friendship with a girl, because women, in general, are threatening to me.
> 
> _phew._



(((HUGS))) to you!



archivaltype said:


> I confess this boy I've met is both beautiful and terrifying. He's hit my life like a ton of bricks and I'm not really sure what to make of all this.
> I wish I could trust people easily. It takes me forever to trust someone even a little bit. Bah! :doh:



I hope things turn out well!



Lamia said:


> I confess that I've used sex to get my boyfriend to get off the computer knowing that he will fall asleep for a couple of hours and then I can have the puter all to myself.  I only did it a couple of times because I felt so guilty, but my guild needed me we were camping a tree...



ROFL!!!



mcbeth said:


> Okay. Never mind. Forget everything. I just logged into our school's system to get his email, and saw on his profile that he is "recently engaged." I swear that last week it still said "single" so he must just not have updated it for a while. I guess he really did just want to hang out as friends. Sigh. I feel like a total idiot now. Let's just pretend this whole thing never happened.



Well that just sucks! I'm glad you found all this out now instead of later though.


----------



## Aust99

^^ Welcome back!


----------



## Punkin1024

IC I'm upset right now. Just finished chatting on Facebook with one of my nieces. She's in an abusive situation and is in the process of trying to get back to Texas (currently, she's in Colorado). She has a 2 year old son to worry about too. Sigh! I hate it when this happens to anyone, but really feel helpless when a family member is involved.


----------



## spiritangel

Punkin1024 said:


> IC I'm upset right now. Just finished chatting on Facebook with one of my nieces. She's in an abusive situation and is in the process of trying to get back to Texas (currently, she's in Colorado). She has a 2 year old son to worry about too. Sigh! I hate it when this happens to anyone, but really feel helpless when a family member is involved.



Huggles that is totally rough and a very hard place to be the fact she is trying to change it and wants to change the situation is actually a huge plus in her favour as that takes enormous strength of courage and means she will get out.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Aust99 said:


> ^^ Welcome back!



Thank you dear!



Punkin1024 said:


> IC I'm upset right now. Just finished chatting on Facebook with one of my nieces. She's in an abusive situation and is in the process of trying to get back to Texas (currently, she's in Colorado). She has a 2 year old son to worry about too. Sigh! I hate it when this happens to anyone, but really feel helpless when a family member is involved.



I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope she'll be able to get out of this bad situation quickly.


----------



## Punkin1024

My niece was staying at a friend's house when she contacted me yesterday. She finally got in touch with her Mom and arrangements have been made to get her to a cousin's house in Kansas. I feel much better about her situation now, but it is still is a great concern of mine since I know she has a long road ahead of her before all will be straightened out.


----------



## KittyKitten

This board is so addictive. I have to multitask on my online assignments while typing on this board. LOL


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Punkin1024 said:


> My niece was staying at a friend's house when she contacted me yesterday. She finally got in touch with her Mom and arrangements have been made to get her to a cousin's house in Kansas. I feel much better about her situation now, but it is still is a great concern of mine since I know she has a long road ahead of her before all will be straightened out.



Oh good, I'm glad that part is settled with your niece. Not knowing is so very nerve racking. Yes, she does have a long road ahead, but she's already taken the first couple of steps. And we all those those are the hardest.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Punkin1024 said:


> My niece was staying at a friend's house when she contacted me yesterday. She finally got in touch with her Mom and arrangements have been made to get her to a cousin's house in Kansas. I feel much better about her situation now, but it is still is a great concern of mine since I know she has a long road ahead of her before all will be straightened out.



I'm so glad to hear things are starting to come into to place for her. I wish her all the best of luck! I'm sure with all your support, everything will come out well in the end. 



happyface83 said:


> This board is so addictive. I have to multitask on my online assignments while typing on this board. LOL



Yes it is!!


----------



## littlefairywren

Punkin1024 said:


> My niece was staying at a friend's house when she contacted me yesterday. She finally got in touch with her Mom and arrangements have been made to get her to a cousin's house in Kansas. I feel much better about her situation now, but it is still is a great concern of mine since I know she has a long road ahead of her before all will be straightened out.



I am glad to hear that your niece is in a better situation now, Ella. She can start her healing, and move onward to a better life with her son.


----------



## Jes

mcbeth said:


> He definitely was flirting, there is definitely chemistry, but clearly it's not going anywhere. The mean voices in my head are definitely saying a lot of, "See! We told you!" Sigh.


I think you can definitely be bummed out and definitely disappointed, but youu shouldn't feel like you're a 'total idiot [your words]." I once wrote a good post about this, but god knows I can't find it now. But my point was: we should never judge ourselves, or our behavior, by someone else's reaction to it. We can't control someone else's actions, we can only control our own. And that you were interested in someone in your circle, and that you (I assume) made yourself available by body language, and chatting, and interacting, and reacting positively to an offer of coffee and conversation, are all good things. You did everything you could do and so, while you didn't get what you hoped for in the end, YOUR behavior was a success. Look, if we judge our behavior based only on the result, we're really not doing ourselves justice. Let's not judge ourselves based on only 1 criterion, especially when that 1 criterion is the only thing we do not control.

This is directed at you, but also everyone. I struggle with this too, but it's good to be reminded that we shouldn't feel stupid if we've tried, but not gotten the hoped-for result.

the end. vagina.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Jes said:


> This is directed at you, but also everyone. I struggle with this too, but it's good to be reminded that we shouldn't feel stupid if we've tried, but not gotten the hoped-for result.
> 
> the end. vagina.



Stop shoulding all over me!!!!  But yeah, I agree, celebrating ways we take risks and try and put ourselves out there is a good thing. True dat.


----------



## Jes

mcbeth said:


> Stop shoulding all over me!!!! .



In the words of my mentor, Li'l Wayne: I do what I do and you do what you can do about it. 

(and then I'd probably have to tell you to put yo panties and yo pants by the trashcan, but I'll stop here)


----------



## Jes

Yesterday, the Boyf schooled me on the correct pronunciation of the word 'forte.' It's indeed 'fort,' not 'for-tay.' DAMNIT.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Jes said:


> Yesterday, the Boyf schooled me on the correct pronunciation of the word 'forte.' It's indeed 'fort,' not 'for-tay.' DAMNIT.



Tell the bf to stop being such an intellectual elitist. 

Main Entry: Forte 
Pronunciation: \&#712;fo&#775;rt; 2 is often &#712;fo&#775;r-&#716;t&#257; or fo&#775;r-&#712;t&#257; or &#712;fo&#775;r-t&#275;\
Function: noun 
Etymology: French fort, from fort, adjective, strong
Date: circa 1648
1 : the part of a sword or foil blade that is between the middle and the hilt and that is the strongest part of the blade
2 : one's strong point

usage: In forte we have a word derived from French that in its strong point sense has *no entirely satisfactory pronunciation*. Usage writers have denigrated \&#712;fo&#775;r-&#716;t&#257;\ and \&#712;fo&#775;r-t&#275;\ because they reflect the influence of the Italian-derived 2forte. Their recommended pronunciation \&#712;fo&#775;rt\, however, does not exactly reflect French either: the French would write the word le fort and would rhyme it with English for. *So you can take your choice, knowing that someone somewhere will dislike whichever variant you choose. All are standard, however.* In British English \&#712;fo&#775;-&#716;t&#257;\ and \&#712;fo&#775;t\ predominate; \&#712;fo&#775;r-&#716;t&#257;\ and \fo&#775;r-&#712;t&#257;\ are probably the most frequent pronunciations in American English.


----------



## Jes

mcbeth said:


> Tell the bf to stop being such an intellectual elitist.
> .



haha. But, I agree that he's right. But, since I'm right 95% of the time, I guess I shouldn't be upset.


----------



## luscious_lulu

My sister i kicking her live in boyfriend out tonight. He hit her and gave her a black eye. It took her a week to tell me.


----------



## littlefairywren

luscious_lulu said:


> My sister i kicking her live in boyfriend out tonight. He hit her and gave her a black eye. It took her a week to tell me.



I hope your sister will be ok, lulu. And the same goes for you too, it is hard to see the family we love in distress or hurt. (((Hugs)))


----------



## AuntHen

IC that I can sometimes be the most stupid person in all the world


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> My sister i kicking her live in boyfriend out tonight. He hit her and gave her a black eye. It took her a week to tell me.



Hope she'll be ok, and I hope the boyfriend gets kicked in the nuts.

Oh yes I said that! 



fat9276 said:


> IC that I can sometimes be the most stupid person in all the world



Aren't we all.


----------



## msbard90

IC that it should not be this cold for the middle of May. I'm freezing!


----------



## nettie

IC that on Saturday I went dancing at a club for the first time since my divorce. I also danced with a boy. And didn't faint, get nauseous, embarrass myself, or die. So, all in all I'd call it a successful night. :happy:


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

nettie said:


> IC that on Saturday I went dancing at a club for the first time since my divorce. I also danced with a boy. And didn't faint, get nauseous, embarrass myself, or die. So, all in all I'd call it a successful night. :happy:


Congrats, and glad you had fun!!


----------



## LovelyLiz

nettie said:


> IC that on Saturday I went dancing at a club for the first time since my divorce. I also danced with a boy. And didn't faint, get nauseous, embarrass myself, or die. So, all in all I'd call it a successful night. :happy:



Woooooo! Rock on, Nettie. Sometimes dancing with a boy is just what the doctor ordered. Post pics!


----------



## littlefairywren

nettie said:


> IC that on Saturday I went dancing at a club for the first time since my divorce. I also danced with a boy. And didn't faint, get nauseous, embarrass myself, or die. So, all in all I'd call it a successful night. :happy:



Sounds wonderful, Nettie! You go, girl 
And yes, post pics please.


----------



## verucassault

i have PMS on steroids this week and i want to stick my face into a chocolate cake! i want to make out with every boy with nice lips who makes eye contact for more than 3 miliseconds and i caught myself staring at the crotch of a dude on the train yesterday. this is agony. i slept until noon today because i have a day off from work and earlier this week i went to bed at 9:30 pm and woke up at 8 because i didnt set my alarm. i havent been to the gym in 6 days. i am in total hormonal despair! oh and i am super sensitive to comments and i am taking everything personal this week. not to mention cramps from the netherworld. period! i beseech thee, show your face and rid me of this burden!


----------



## littlefairywren

verucassault said:


> i have PMS on steroids this week and i want to stick my face into a chocolate cake! i want to make out with every boy with nice lips who makes eye contact for more than 3 miliseconds and i caught myself staring at the crotch of a dude on the train yesterday. this is agony. i slept until noon today because i have a day off from work and earlier this week i went to bed at 9:30 pm and woke up at 8 because i didnt set my alarm. i havent been to the gym in 6 days. i am in total hormonal despair! oh and i am super sensitive to comments and i am taking everything personal this week. not to mention cramps from the netherworld. period! i beseech thee, show your face and rid me of this burden!



I SO hear you! ((((HUGS)))) and a large piece of chocolate cake :happy:


----------



## spiritangel

hmmm yep I hear that too and thinK I am slowly driving myself insane but for some reason no chocolate cravings atm


----------



## luscious_lulu

fat9276 said:


> IC that I can sometimes be the most stupid person in all the world





MizzSnakeBite said:


> Hope she'll be ok, and I hope the boyfriend gets kicked in the nuts.
> 
> Oh yes I said that!


Thanks
He's leaving, but not immediately. I want to seriously hurt the bastard.


----------



## mossystate

luscious_lulu said:


> Thanks
> He's leaving, but not immediately. I want to seriously hurt the bastard.



I hope the leaving...sticks...stays stuck The piece of shit.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

verucassault said:


> i have PMS on steroids this week and i want to stick my face into a chocolate cake! i want to make out with every boy with nice lips who makes eye contact for more than 3 miliseconds and i caught myself staring at the crotch of a dude on the train yesterday. this is agony. i slept until noon today because i have a day off from work and earlier this week i went to bed at 9:30 pm and woke up at 8 because i didnt set my alarm. i havent been to the gym in 6 days. i am in total hormonal despair! oh and i am super sensitive to comments and i am taking everything personal this week. not to mention cramps from the netherworld. period! i beseech thee, show your face and rid me of this burden!



Oh sweetie, how we understand! It's torture. I hope it's over quickly for you. Oh, and I'd take the cake. lol 



luscious_lulu said:


> Thanks
> He's leaving, but not immediately. *I want to seriously hurt the bastard.*



So would I.

I hope once he finally leaves, it's for good.


----------



## spiritangel

IC that I am feeling like I am going to be single for a very very very very very long time atm


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

spiritangel said:


> IC that I am feeling like I am going to be single for a very very very very very long time atm



Same here.


----------



## Lamia

I confess that one time when I was 7 years old. I carved a letter D in my grandma's coffee table for DIANN which is my real name. When I saw what I had done I panicked and went ahead and carbed OUG after that. My brother DOUG got screamed at for carving his name in the coffee table. He kept saying "I didn't do it I SWEAR" and my mom kept saying "Doug...who else would carve your name in the table??" My brother was 14 at the time. 

I figure years of being locked in closests and having wrestling moves practiced on me...I got my payback.

:happy: I finally confessed to my family at around age 25.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Lamia said:


> I confess that one time when I was 7 years old. I carved a letter D in my grandma's coffee table for DIANN which is my real name. When I saw what I had done I panicked and went ahead and carbed OUG after that. My brother DOUG got screamed at for carving his name in the coffee table. He kept saying "I didn't do it I SWEAR" and my mom kept saying "Doug...who else would carve your name in the table??" My brother was 14 at the time.
> 
> I figure years of being locked in closests and having wrestling moves practiced on me...I got my payback.
> 
> :happy: I finally confessed to my family at around age 25.



HAHAHAHAHAHA! Sometimes, payback is a tortured little sister! 

How did Dog take the confession?


----------



## Lamia

OneWickedAngel said:


> HAHAHAHAHAHA! Sometimes, payback is a tortured little sister!
> 
> How did Dog take the confession?



DoUg lol He just shook his head. It wasn't like he was punished. He just got yelled at.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Lamia said:


> I confess that one time when I was 7 years old. I carved a letter D in my grandma's coffee table for DIANN which is my real name. When I saw what I had done I panicked and went ahead and carbed OUG after that. My brother DOUG got screamed at for carving his name in the coffee table. He kept saying "I didn't do it I SWEAR" and my mom kept saying "Doug...who else would carve your name in the table??" My brother was 14 at the time.
> 
> I figure years of being locked in closests and having wrestling moves practiced on me...I got my payback.
> 
> :happy: I finally confessed to my family at around age 25.



HAHAHA!!


----------



## MissStacie

IC that I made my husband "Fathers Day brownies"...and I've eaten almost 1/2 the pan....:wubu:


----------



## msbard90

IC that when I went out to eat tongiht, our server was the most adorable, funniest, and oh did I say adorable (I think he was an FA too... you had to be there for it) server I have ever met. He got a very nice tip


----------



## Lamia

I confess that I had a sex dream and my boyfriend was in it. I had taken some allergy medicine and couldn't wake up so kept thinking I was waking up, calling him in and having sex. This particular scenario happened like 5 times until I could finally wake myself up. I then called him in and we had sex. 

:wubu:


----------



## Punkin1024

IC That I love it when it rains - even if it rains and rains and rains! 

I also confess that I keep reading that chocolate (especially dark chocolate) is a super food. I like that! I really, really do!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

IC that I might just be able to love that man I'm with......


----------



## littlefairywren

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> IC that I might just be able to love that man I'm with......



Oh, that sounds so nice....he would be a lucky man indeed!


----------



## Lamia

Punkin1024 said:


> IC That I love it when it rains - even if it rains and rains and rains!
> 
> I also confess that I keep reading that chocolate (especially dark chocolate) is a super food. I like that! I really, really do!



I am picturing a hershey bar with a cape flying over the city. Never fear....super chocolate is here to increase your pleasure centers...:eat1:


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> IC that I might just be able to love that man I'm with......



Much luck Greenie . He's a very lucky man!


----------



## Lamia

I confess that I like to engage in aggressive snuggling. If you are unaware of this form of snuggling it's when you are laying next to your mate and you are cuddling and then you wriggle wildy and hold them tightly and scream into their chest "I AM SNUGGLING YOU AGGRESSIVELY AND YOU CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT IT!!""...then laugh like you're insane. 


(is in hour 9 of my 10 hour shift....had 3 hours of sleep today...feeling kind of silly)


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Lamia said:


> I confess that I like to engage in aggressive snuggling. If you are unaware of this form of snuggling it's when you are laying next to your mate and you are cuddling and then you wriggle wildy and hold them tightly and scream into their chest "I AM SNUGGLING YOU AGGRESSIVELY AND YOU CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT IT!!""...then laugh like you're insane.
> 
> 
> (is in hour 9 of my 10 hour shift....had 3 hours of sleep today...feeling kind of silly)



Yes, you need to go to bed, and have lots of sex dreams.


----------



## Lamia

lol or dreams about tornadoes...which sadly is more likely.


----------



## spiritangel

IC I cant seem to shake this restless feeling I have and am driving myself slowly insane


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Lamia said:


> lol or dreams about tornadoes...which sadly is more likely.



OR, tornadoes having sex! 



spiritangel said:


> IC I cant seem to shake this restless feeling I have and am driving myself slowly insane



I get that feeling all the time too, and it drives me crazy. Hugs to you dear.


----------



## spiritangel

MizzSnakeBite said:


> OR, tornadoes having sex!
> 
> 
> 
> I get that feeling all the time too, and it drives me crazy. Hugs to you dear.




Hugs back

well It seems it was the old intuition kicking in, my cousins hubby has hurt his knee again and it turns out her middle child took a tumble off his motorbike and is in hospital with concussion, sooo wish that instead of getting restless I would understand the messages always hardest for a reader to read for themeslves lol but after calling and talking to my cousin I feel much better so fingers crossed that there isnt a 3rd thing on its way


----------



## Aust99

IC I want to ride on the back of a moter cycle... with a hot man between my legs.... (driving of course)


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

spiritangel said:


> Hugs back
> 
> well It seems it was the old intuition kicking in, my cousins hubby has hurt his knee again and it turns out her middle child took a tumble off his motorbike and is in hospital with concussion, sooo wish that instead of getting restless I would understand the messages always hardest for a reader to read for themeslves lol but after calling and talking to my cousin I feel much better so fingers crossed that there isnt a 3rd thing on its way



Good grief! I hope there isn't a third incident! 



Aust99 said:


> IC I want to ride on the back of a moter cycle... with a hot man between my legs.... (driving of course)



With you playing with the stick shift <she asks innocently >?

I don't do motorcycles. When I was a kid, I was injured while on the back of one. They now terrify me.


----------



## ButlerGirl09

I confess that I am somewhat insecure and lack confidence when it comes to my body. I came to Dims to feel supported and be in a place where I could be free of the negativity and abuse of the real world, but currently I'm not feeling that whatsoever. All of this has left me feeling more vulnerable and upset than ever before...


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

littlefairywren said:


> Oh, that sounds so nice....he would be a lucky man indeed!





MizzSnakeBite said:


> Much luck Greenie . He's a very lucky man!



Thank you both 



Lamia said:


> I confess that I like to engage in aggressive snuggling. If you are unaware of this form of snuggling it's when you are laying next to your mate and you are cuddling and then you wriggle wildy and hold them tightly and scream into their chest "I AM SNUGGLING YOU AGGRESSIVELY AND YOU CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT IT!!""...then laugh like you're insane.
> 
> 
> (is in hour 9 of my 10 hour shift....had 3 hours of sleep today...feeling kind of silly)



Lol, this sounds like some of the nutty stuff I like to do.....even when I'm not tired


----------



## spiritangel

ButlerGirl09 said:


> I confess that I am somewhat insecure and lack confidence when it comes to my body. I came to Dims to feel supported and be in a place where I could be free of the negativity and abuse of the real world, but currently I'm not feeling that whatsoever. All of this has left me feeling more vulnerable and upset than ever before...



Hugs Butlergirl, I have found the opposite in that there are some amazing and inspiring threads here, I do hope you find your inner confidence as it is hard when we dont feel secure within ourselves


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

ButlerGirl09 said:


> I confess that I am somewhat insecure and lack confidence when it comes to my body. I came to Dims to feel supported and be in a place where I could be free of the negativity and abuse of the real world, but currently I'm not feeling that whatsoever. All of this has left me feeling more vulnerable and upset than ever before...



Hugs to you sweetie! I'm the same way, and I hope whoever gave you trouble gets the axe. It's hard enough in this world when you're not society's "ideal" body weight and type, and it's a shame that in this haven, people get attacked. 

P.S. I hope you're not offended when I called you "sweetie"! It's a Southern thing lol.


----------



## ButlerGirl09

spiritangel said:


> Hugs Butlergirl, I have found the opposite in that there are some amazing and inspiring threads here, I do hope you find your inner confidence as it is hard when we dont feel secure within ourselves



Thank you. I am working on that inner confidence, it's just always been a bit of a struggle or Achilles heel if you will. So when someone targets that issue it can be really hard to separate myself and think rationally. I appreciate you love and support! :happy:



MizzSnakeBite said:


> Hugs to you sweetie! I'm the same way, and I hope whoever gave you trouble gets the axe. It's hard enough in this world when you're not society's "ideal" body weight and type, and it's a shame that in this haven, people get attacked.
> 
> P.S. I hope you're not offended when I called you "sweetie"! It's a Southern thing lol.



Not offended at all that you called me sweetie! It's endearing. I am very grateful for the love and support I have and continue to receive from the genuine people on Dims. 

You're right though it is unfortunate to be attacked both in the real world and then in a place that's supposed to be a safe haven. I am grateful that Conrad and the moderators have also been so supportive and concerned with the situation that I encountered both publicly and privately. I'm happy to report that the said individual did get the axe for good! 

Thank you for you kind words!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

ButlerGirl09 said:


> Not offended at all that you called me sweetie! It's endearing. I am very grateful for the love and support I have and continue to receive from the genuine people on Dims.
> 
> You're right though it is unfortunate to be attacked both in the real world and then in a place that's supposed to be a safe haven. I am grateful that Conrad and the moderators have also been so supportive and concerned with the situation that I encountered both publicly and privately. I'm happy to report that the said individual did get the axe for good!
> 
> Thank you for you kind words!



Good! I'm glad it was taken care of!


----------



## littlefairywren

ButlerGirl09 said:


> I confess that I am somewhat insecure and lack confidence when it comes to my body. I came to Dims to feel supported and be in a place where I could be free of the negativity and abuse of the real world, but currently I'm not feeling that whatsoever. All of this has left me feeling more vulnerable and upset than ever before...



This place should be a soft place to fall, and for the most part I think it is. Of course, once in a while some moron behaves like a bit of a tool. 

Don't let that get the better of you, ButlerGirl. (((HUGS)))


----------



## Jes

I just watched the students file past for my university's 245th commencement ceremony. MAGICAL. I remember my graduation here x years ago. Good memories. The pep band played a Journey ballad, Sweet Caroline and Freebird. But I liked the 9-person bag pipe group better! Mmm, bagpipes.


----------



## Jes

i had a dream that i was in bed at a Dimmer's house, and suddenly I realized I was being spooned, and neck-kissed by someone who, after turning to look, I recognized as Tad/Edx, another Dimmer.

Hmn.

I was not pleased, in the dream.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Jes said:


> ...snip...
> 
> I was not pleased, *in the dream*.



As you would be in real life?


----------



## Jes

OneWickedAngel said:


> As you would be in real life?



well i wanted to be clear about that. In the dream, he was kissing me just to prove something to someone (who was watching), but not to either of us. So I had to give him the elbow to the solar plexus, like: cut it OUT!

all i can think is that i must've seen a post of his right before falling asleep or something like that. Every now and then, the oddest people show up in our dreams. It's a scream.


----------



## Tau

Jes said:


> well i wanted to be clear about that. In the dream, he was kissing me just to prove something to someone (who was watching), but not to either of us. So I had to give him the elbow to the solar plexus, like: cut it OUT!
> 
> all i can think is that i must've seen a post of his right before falling asleep or something like that. Every now and then, the oddest people show up in our dreams. It's a scream.



 Your brain sounds like fun!


----------



## Jes

Tau said:


> Your brain sounds like fun!



Tau, if there's anyone using these boards that I think I'd like to meet, I feel like it's you. I have relatives in S.Africa (uh oh...sorry). Who knows? Maybe some day?



i confess i can't tell if i'm sad or lonely.


----------



## luscious_lulu

mossystate said:


> I hope the leaving...sticks...stays stuck The piece of shit.





MizzSnakeBite said:


> I hope once he finally leaves, it's for good.



Thanks ladies. I cannot wait until he is gone.


----------



## Tau

Jes said:


> Tau, if there's anyone using these boards that I think I'd like to meet, I feel like it's you. I have relatives in S.Africa (uh oh...sorry). Who knows? Maybe some day?
> 
> 
> 
> i confess i can't tell if i'm sad or lonely.



Thanks chick! :wubu: Feeling is entirely mutual  If you ever make it to these parts you've got to let me know!


----------



## Tau

I am bored - so incredibly bored. And stressed. Bored and stressed. Something has got to give really fucken soon otherwise I'm going to do something crazy and potentially unpleasant.


----------



## Ruffie

I confess that while I long for summer I do not enjoy excessive heat. Our youth centre is a concrete block building 2nd floor, with a wall of south facing windows and some of the blinds broken and no AC. So on days when it gets to 31C no option but sweating. And despite all the precautions a fat girl can take, by the end of the day using perfume to mask odours a problem my thinner counterparts just don't get.


----------



## spiritangel

IC I just found out the third reason for my restlessness a good friend just lost his baby, long story about a friend of his and him being the sperm donor but yeah they are both totally heartbroken and I am too I totally diddnt pick up on this at all


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that I'm upset because it is too hot in our house (A/C needs servicing) and I can't walk on my treadmill tonight!  Probably won't sleep well either. On the plus side, got Season 1 of _Leverage_ yesterday! When I do get to sleep, I'll at least (hope, hope, hope) dream of Christian Kane (he plays Eliot Spenser). Sigh! :wubu:


----------



## Lamia

I confess that I love video games so much because I enjoy violence, but not in reality. It depends on the violence too. Really want to play Bayonetta!! Mark of Kri was fun violence. Also, I just watched the episode of Sopranos when Richie punches Janice in the mouth and her reaction....shoot him in the chest. I am ashamed to admit I cheered and laughed. Mostly because I REALLY hated that character. Goodbye Richie rest in pieces.


----------



## Jes

i confess that it makes me sad to read that a fat woman who is so large she 'can't fit anyplace' is a selling point. it feels wrong to me.


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC I am dabbling in the idea of giving up my daily can of Diet Coke. Curse you, bonds of addiction!


----------



## Lovelyone

mcbeth said:


> IC I am dabbling in the idea of giving up my daily can of Diet Coke. Curse you, bonds of addiction!



IC that reading this gave me a tickle, cos I know what that's like. It's a tough thing to do. I gave up my daily 2-liter of coke in exchange for flavored sparkling water nearly 6 weeks ago and my leg edema has diminished, I've lost weight and I feel like it's no longer an addiction for me. I wish you great luck if you do it!


----------



## CastingPearls

mcbeth said:


> IC I am dabbling in the idea of giving up my daily can of Diet Coke. Curse you, bonds of addiction!


Giving up Pepsi was so difficult. I picked it up when I quit smoking cold turkey 16 years ago. Now, I only have an occasional fountain soda but I do have cravings for my Pepsi......


----------



## Lamia

I confess that Pepsi taste like flat Coke to me, but I can't have either because I can't have caffeine.


----------



## Lovelyone

IC that I seem to be too lazy to go walking at the duck pond today even though its a glorious day outside. I really need to go. GRRRRR.


----------



## Jes

i confess that i think my butt is going to be on a food network TV show!


----------



## Crystal

Jes said:


> i confess that i think my butt is going to be on a food network TV show!



Holy crap! Which show??


----------



## LovelyLiz

Lovelyone said:


> IC that reading this gave me a tickle, cos I know what that's like. It's a tough thing to do. I gave up my daily 2-liter of coke in exchange for flavored sparkling water nearly 6 weeks ago and my leg edema has diminished, I've lost weight and I feel like it's no longer an addiction for me. I wish you great luck if you do it!





CastingPearls said:


> Giving up Pepsi was so difficult. I picked it up when I quit smoking cold turkey 16 years ago. Now, I only have an occasional fountain soda but I do have cravings for my Pepsi......



Thanks, ladies! I think the less chemicals I ingest, the better...  I'm going to try to start getting some green tea in the afternoons if I do need a little pick-me-up.


----------



## Weeze

Jes said:


> I just watched the students file past for my university's 245th commencement ceremony. MAGICAL. I remember my graduation here x years ago. Good memories. The pep band played a Journey ballad, Sweet Caroline and Freebird. But I liked the 9-person bag pipe group better! Mmm, bagpipes.



ok, I have to know which philly school is your alma mater


----------



## spiritangel

mcbeth said:


> IC I am dabbling in the idea of giving up my daily can of Diet Coke. Curse you, bonds of addiction!



Hugs I dont do diet drinks, always think the chemicles are worse in them for some reason so I do grown up cordial (the fruit kind not the alcaholic kind) in mineral water, as I rarely drink tea and dont drink coffee I had a glass or two of this usually with dinner and the rest of the time drink water

hugs mayby find an alternative you like ie a fresh juice or some such


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mcbeth said:


> IC I am dabbling in the idea of giving up my daily can of Diet Coke. Curse you, bonds of addiction!



I've known quite a few people that quite drinking that, and they all said they felt better. Speaking from experience, and from other people have told me, you might feel not too fantastic for a bit. I guess your body's getting used to not having all those chemicals around. Good luck!



Jes said:


> i confess that i think my butt is going to be on a food network TV show!



Oooooooooooo!! Congrats!!!


----------



## Lamia

I've always felt that if I cared enough to drink diet soda then I might as well drink water. Diet soda is just as bad. When I've cut soda out of my diet totally I notice a drastic change. I gave up soda for 2 years and felt great I need to do it again. It's such a bad habit.


----------



## spiritangel

Jes said:


> i confess that i think my butt is going to be on a food network TV show!



oooh I missed this what show what show and when (oh and wonder if we get the show over here lol)


----------



## Jes

Crystal said:


> Holy crap! Which show??



Chef v. City? I think? I walked past the camera yesterday. Not sure it was on...but I'll know it was there in spirit, if I happen to catch the episode. I don't know when it's on, or what it is, beyond what I could glean from the filming and the website. To be frank, it looked terrible. The show, not my butt.

I confess I have a really awkward meeting coming up in 6 min, and I didn't sleep well, had heart palpitations, though someone was outside my apt. door doing something weird for half the night and then the fire alarm went off! and i mean the building-wide-connected-to-the-city-Fire-Dept alarm. LOUD.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Jes said:


> Chef v. City? I think? I walked past the camera yesterday. Not sure it was on...but I'll know it was there in spirit, if I happen to catch the episode. I don't know when it's on, or what it is, beyond what I could glean from the filming and the website. To be frank, it looked terrible. The show, not my butt.
> 
> I confess I have a really awkward meeting coming up in 6 min, and I didn't sleep well, had heart palpitations, though someone was outside my apt. door doing something weird for half the night and then the fire alarm went off! and i mean the building-wide-connected-to-the-city-Fire-Dept alarm. LOUD.



How'd the meeting go?! Sending you retroactive positive vibes...

P.S. Your butt could never look terrible.


----------



## Jes

mcbeth said:


> How'd the meeting go?! Sending you retroactive positive vibes...
> 
> P.S. Your butt could never look terrible.



Eh...it...went. In a few small ways, it was worse than I'd imagined (and I'd imagined a lot) and in a few ways, it was a bit better. I guess that goes with having a career--lots of responsibilities, lots of chances to fail if you're not focusing...Hopefully, I'll step up and do what I need to do to reach my potential. 

Agreed on my butt. haha. thanks.

I confess i got a free lunch (well...I'm volunteering on a scholarship committee, so that's not so 'free') and I ate a lot and then I went to a fabulous retirement party and ate a bit more. But just a bit. But it doesn't matter b/c I'm already almost falling down.


----------



## BigCutieClaudia

I confess that I am clueless about men. I read a blog today about things you know at 31 about dating that you WISH you knew at 21 and I had an ephiphany...

I already knew that what i understand about the opposite sex can fit on the front flap of a matchbook but there is something else. I am a friendly person and i love to give, so this reads as "desperate" hmm. I wonder if acting like a which would help...guess i will have to give it a try


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that it has been another one of those days/weeks when I wish I lived closer to all my BBW friends. Sometimes a girl just needs a night out with her friends to talk about all of life's ups and downs, get a hug, and just be. I still have that dream of having a BBW Tour around the country and I hope that someday that dream will become a reality.


----------



## spiritangel

BigCutieClaudia said:


> I confess that I am clueless about men. I read a blog today about things you know at 31 about dating that you WISH you knew at 21 and I had an ephiphany...
> 
> I already knew that what i understand about the opposite sex can fit on the front flap of a matchbook but there is something else. I am a friendly person and i love to give, so this reads as "desperate" hmm. I wonder if acting like a which would help...guess i will have to give it a try



omg then I would read the same way, just cause I like to do nice things for my friends ouch thats harsh eep oh well


----------



## Cece Larue

IC that I have tried to spend the majority of the day cleaning... and have barely made a dent in my bedroom. I DID manage to bag up a trashsack full of clothes to take to Goodwill!


----------



## BBW4Chattery

I confess that I only painted one of four walls and I already want to quit. I also confess that my new house's air conditioner smells like old feet and instead of trying to figure out how to clean it, I'm willing to just spend the cash on a new air conditioner. I also confess I'm sleepy. Sooooo... sleepy.


----------



## CastingPearls

IC that I was really dismayed to see the bride at a wedding I attended blatantly treat the entire groom's family like dirt. I've known them my entire life and they're the nicest people too. It was sad.


----------



## Cece Larue

IC that I am TOTALLY addicted to glittersniffer pigments... and that I'll go broke trying to get every shade she's ever made! I just spent another $25 on an awesome 6 colors for $25 sale. BUT, it's SO worth it!!Glittersniffer 6 for $25 sale! WOOT!!!


----------



## nettie

I confess that I've been stripping all weekend and, quite franklly, am hot and tired so I'm going to take a shower and settle in for the evening.

....... wallpaper, that is.

What did you think?


----------



## spiritangel

Cece Larue said:


> IC that I am TOTALLY addicted to glittersniffer pigments... and that I'll go broke trying to get every shade she's ever made! I just spent another $25 on an awesome 6 colors for $25 sale. BUT, it's SO worth it!!Glittersniffer 6 for $25 sale! WOOT!!!



omg I am in lust the colours are sooo vibrant, when you said pigment my mind went straight to crafts lol


----------



## Lamia

I confess that 4 years ago while recovering from a broken leg I sat on my cat. I was moving from my bed to my wheelchair so I could wheel into the bathroom. I sat on something soft and squishy. When I realized what it was I threw myself on the bed and started crying. I turned and expected to see a mangled cat. He was just laying there all curled up in a ball. So I poked him. I shook him. There was no movement so I shook him harder. Finally, he opened his eyes, yawned and stretched. He did that lip smacking thing people do when they wake up. 

He got down went in the kitchen and ate and drank. Came back and stared at me as I sat on the toilet laughing through tears of relief. 

This was what his bed head expression looked like. I made a lol cat from his picture. He gets bed head a lot. 








I still don't know how he managed to survive the experience unscathed.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Lamia said:


> I confess that 4 years ago while recovering from a broken leg I sat on my cat. I was moving from my bed to my wheelchair so I could wheel into the bathroom. I sat on something soft and squishy. When I realized what it was I threw myself on the bed and started crying. I turned and expected to see a mangled cat. He was just laying there all curled up in a ball. So I poked him. I shook him. There was no movement so I shook him harder. Finally, he opened his eyes, yawned and stretched. He did that lip smacking thing people do when they wake up.
> 
> He got down went in the kitchen and ate and drank. Came back and stared at me as I sat on the toilet laughing through tears of relief.
> 
> This was what his bed head expression looked like. I made a lol cat from his picture. He gets bed head a lot.
> 
> 
> 
> I still don't know how he managed to survive the experience unscathed.



He's precious!!


----------



## Punkin1024

Lamia said:


> I confess that 4 years ago while recovering from a broken leg I sat on my cat. I was moving from my bed to my wheelchair so I could wheel into the bathroom. I sat on something soft and squishy. When I realized what it was I threw myself on the bed and started crying. I turned and expected to see a mangled cat. He was just laying there all curled up in a ball. So I poked him. I shook him. There was no movement so I shook him harder. Finally, he opened his eyes, yawned and stretched. He did that lip smacking thing people do when they wake up.
> 
> He got down went in the kitchen and ate and drank. Came back and stared at me as I sat on the toilet laughing through tears of relief.
> 
> This was what his bed head expression looked like. I made a lol cat from his picture. He gets bed head a lot.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I still don't know how he managed to survive the experience unscathed.



Pets, especially cats, gotta love 'em! LOL!


----------



## aocutiepi

I confess... that when we found out the gender of my little sister's baby tonight, I breathed a sigh of relief that it was a boy so she couldn't steal the baby name I've had picked out for years for a girl, which became her and her hubby's "first choice" girl name recently. 

I confess... that I feel horrible about feeling that way because she's about the only good friend I have and it's not her fault she got married and started procreating before I even get to have a serious relationship! 


I love reading all of these confessions. It reminds me a lot of postsecret which is one of my guilty pleasures... it makes me feel less alone in the world because I could easily confess to a lot of the other confessions myself!


----------



## crazygood

IC that the worst part of being unemployed is being unable to say I'm too busy to help my family with their domestic chores. I hate packing and moving! I hate being tied to another persons schedule! I love them all but I miss being around people who don't expect me to drop everything to help them "because it's not like I'm doing anything important." :doh:


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

Mine isn't a confession just some news ...I got a perm last week and I wanted ringlets..Since my hair has some natural curl in it I asked for bigger rods and my hairdresser talked me out of them..Now a week later my hair still has tight little curls in it..Last time it was like this I was 5 and use to brush it every day to get rid of the curls!! 


Hugss to you Ladies..I hope you are all doing good


----------



## Famouslastwords

Cece Larue said:


> IC that I am TOTALLY addicted to glittersniffer pigments... and that I'll go broke trying to get every shade she's ever made! I just spent another $25 on an awesome 6 colors for $25 sale. BUT, it's SO worth it!!Glittersniffer 6 for $25 sale! WOOT!!!



Do you know what you've done to me and my wallet woman? DO YOU?



Lamia said:


> I confess that 4 years ago while recovering from a broken leg I sat on my cat. I was moving from my bed to my wheelchair so I could wheel into the bathroom. I sat on something soft and squishy. When I realized what it was I threw myself on the bed and started crying. I turned and expected to see a mangled cat. He was just laying there all curled up in a ball. So I poked him. I shook him. There was no movement so I shook him harder. Finally, he opened his eyes, yawned and stretched. He did that lip smacking thing people do when they wake up.
> 
> He got down went in the kitchen and ate and drank. Came back and stared at me as I sat on the toilet laughing through tears of relief.
> 
> This was what his bed head expression looked like. I made a lol cat from his picture. He gets bed head a lot.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I still don't know how he managed to survive the experience unscathed.



How cute! I would worry if it was my baby too. When I had to move I had to catch my cats and put them in a carrier and leave them there while the movers packed and hustled and bustled around. Well I couldn't catch them both and get them to get in the carrier so I had to get the one I was most worried about in there. By the time they were half done slamming around and stuff he looked so betrayed and dejected. My heart fell to the ground and felt like it had been ran over. This move was for them too. A bigger place. Whee. Stairs. More places to discover. But at that point in time, nothing felt like it was for them at all. I felt so selfish.

My point is, I think we can safely say most of us connect with our pets and worry about them very much. And I'm very happy your baby is ok.


----------



## Tau

Lamia said:


> I confess that 4 years ago while recovering from a broken leg I sat on my cat. I was moving from my bed to my wheelchair so I could wheel into the bathroom. I sat on something soft and squishy. When I realized what it was I threw myself on the bed and started crying. I turned and expected to see a mangled cat. He was just laying there all curled up in a ball. So I poked him. I shook him. There was no movement so I shook him harder. Finally, he opened his eyes, yawned and stretched. He did that lip smacking thing people do when they wake up.
> 
> He got down went in the kitchen and ate and drank. Came back and stared at me as I sat on the toilet laughing through tears of relief.
> 
> This was what his bed head expression looked like. I made a lol cat from his picture. He gets bed head a lot.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I still don't know how he managed to survive the experience unscathed.



Oh God I cracked up and cried at the same time cos I had a similar experience with my dog, Two Face. He usually slept on the pillow next to my head and when he wasnt there he was off barking at nothing so I woke up, minus dog, and jumped out of bed onto his poor little body. He had, for some reason, decided to sleep on the floor instead of joining me on the bed again. I thought I'd murdered him cos he cried so hard. Took him to the vet and he was fine - absolutely nothing broken. I couldn't believe my luck, had hysterics soon as I found out he was ok


----------



## Famouslastwords

BubbleButtBabe said:


> Mine isn't a confession just some news ...I got a perm last week and I wanted ringlets..Since my hair has some natural curl in it I asked for bigger rods and my hairdresser talked me out of them..Now a week later my hair still has tight little curls in it..Last time it was like this I was 5 and use to brush it every day to get rid of the curls!!
> 
> 
> Hugss to you Ladies..I hope you are all doing good



I wish I could get tight curls. My hairstylists in California always talk me out of tight curls and always do whatever the hell they want. I even tell them what I want specifically with my hair cut-wise. And they do whatever they hell they want. GOD. I hope they're different in Indiana, cuz if they're not I swear to God I'mma scream. I told this lady in California how I wanted my hair, I took pictures in, of how it was, of it ON MY HEAD. Told her I loved it and how it was. She didn't do it at all. I hated her haircut.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Famouslastwords said:


> I wish I could get tight curls. My hairstylists in California always talk me out of tight curls and always do whatever the hell they want. I even tell them what I want specifically with my hair cut-wise. And they do whatever they hell they want. GOD. I hope they're different in Indiana, cuz if they're not I swear to God I'mma scream. I told this lady in California how I wanted my hair, I took pictures in, of how it was, of it ON MY HEAD. Told her I loved it and how it was. She didn't do it at all. I hated her haircut.




Sounds like you needed to cut that bitch........with her own scissors!


----------



## Famouslastwords

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Sounds like you needed to cut that bitch........with her own scissors!



Boy oh boy, I wanted to, but I'm so tame in real life. The only person I get really inflamed with at all is my boyfriend and it's because I think after 8 years with me I think he should know better. The career counselor I met with today that previously thought I should be a bank teller, tested me and said that math wasn't really my strong point (I scored correctly just not quickly. So the test timed out before I could finish, um 21 of the questions. =( ) Anyway she said maybe I could work at admissions at a hospital, or at a casino. Which works because I need to sit with minimal standing. The only thing I'm worried about is the smoke in the casino. In California, you're not allowed to smoke in the casino. Oh toto, we're not in California anymore.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

aocutiepi said:


> I confess... that when we found out the gender of my little sister's baby tonight, I breathed a sigh of relief that it was a boy so she couldn't steal the baby name I've had picked out for years for a girl, which became her and her hubby's "first choice" girl name recently.
> 
> I confess... that I feel horrible about feeling that way because she's about the only good friend I have and it's not her fault she got married and started procreating before I even get to have a serious relationship!
> 
> 
> I love reading all of these confessions. It reminds me a lot of postsecret which is one of my guilty pleasures... it makes me feel less alone in the world because I could easily confess to a lot of the other confessions myself!



Welcome! 



Famouslastwords said:


> Boy oh boy, I wanted to, but I'm so tame in real life. The only person I get really inflamed with at all is my boyfriend and it's because I think after 8 years with me I think he should know better. The career counselor I met with today that previously thought I should be a bank teller, tested me and said that math wasn't really my strong point (I scored correctly just not quickly. So the test timed out before I could finish, um 21 of the questions. =( ) Anyway she said maybe I could work at admissions at a hospital, or at a casino. Which works because I need to sit with minimal standing. The only thing I'm worried about is the smoke in the casino. In California, you're not allowed to smoke in the casino. Oh toto, we're not in California anymore.



Hope you're able to find a good fit, missus!

:wubu:


----------



## Weeze

i have fuckin' razor burn on the top of my foot.


----------



## crazygood

Weeze said:


> i have fuckin' razor burn on the top of my foot.



Sorry, I LOLed, I have razor burn on my upper lip. Stupid fracking PCOS.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Famouslastwords said:


> Boy oh boy, I wanted to, but I'm so tame in real life. The only person I get really inflamed with at all is my boyfriend and it's because I think after 8 years with me I think he should know better. The career counselor I met with today that previously thought I should be a bank teller, tested me and said that math wasn't really my strong point (I scored correctly just not quickly. So the test timed out before I could finish, um 21 of the questions. =( ) Anyway she said maybe I could work at admissions at a hospital, or at a casino. Which works because I need to sit with minimal standing. The only thing I'm worried about is the smoke in the casino. In California, you're not allowed to smoke in the casino. Oh toto, we're not in California anymore.



Most office jobs seem to have more sitting than standing so perhaps it's something to consider?


----------



## Cece Larue

Famouslastwords said:


> Do you know what you've done to me and my wallet woman? DO YOU?



ahaha... Oh girl... I know! She's always coming out with the awesome colors and collections... my wallet is telling me noooooo but my makeup case it telling me yessssssssss! 

IC that I tend to let the little things get me riled up... but I'm having a mid-year resolution to stop all that crap!


----------



## Tau

Oh God I really, really want to shag my boss. He's based in the Uk and comes over 4 or 5 times a year and everytime I see him its like somebody poured molten lava into my panties. He's gorgeous - dark haired, blue eyes - with this leanly muscled delicious body and forearms totally ripped with glorious veins. He's charismatic. When he speaks I long to offer him my services, professional and otherwise, for free  I just...I just want to mount him like a clock! *whimpers*


----------



## spiritangel

IC I actually swore for the first time on the phone to my uncle tonight he rang me to get me to call my cousin cause her insert bleeps here of a soon to be ex husband dropped more baggage off onto her today of the emotional kind grr now I have to go spend some time in taree when I probably should be home resting ahh the joys of family lol


----------



## Cece Larue

Tau said:


> Oh God I really, really want to shag my boss. He's based in the Uk and comes over 4 or 5 times a year and everytime I see him its like somebody poured molten lava into my panties. He's gorgeous - dark haired, blue eyes - with this leanly muscled delicious body and forearms totally ripped with glorious veins. He's charismatic. When he speaks I long to offer him my services, professional and otherwise, for free  I just...I just want to mount him like a clock! *whimpers*



Oh la la!! Go for it. Then give me the details.


----------



## Famouslastwords

Tau said:


> Oh God I really, really want to shag my boss. He's based in the Uk and comes over 4 or 5 times a year and everytime I see him its like somebody poured molten lava into my panties. He's gorgeous - dark haired, blue eyes - with this leanly muscled delicious body and forearms totally ripped with glorious veins. He's charismatic. When he speaks I long to offer him my services, professional and otherwise, for free  I just...I just want to mount him like a clock! *whimpers*



LOL Talk about a welcomed distraction! Does he have a sexy accent?


----------



## littlefairywren

Tau said:


> Oh God I really, really want to shag my boss. He's based in the Uk and comes over 4 or 5 times a year and everytime I see him its like somebody poured molten lava into my panties. He's gorgeous - *dark haired, blue eyes* - with this leanly muscled delicious body and forearms totally ripped with glorious veins. He's charismatic. When he speaks I long to offer him my services, professional and otherwise, for free  I just...I just want to mount him like a clock! *whimpers*



Oooh, I love that combo! Yum Yum :eat2:


----------



## Lamia

IC that I am bored at work so I flood dimensions with tons of useless mind garbage. 10 hour shift with nothing to do....In the 10 hours I have been here I have taken almost 20 calls....

I worry about job security no one wants to buy the useless crap in our catalogs. Good thing I put in for another position as an information systems clerk. Cross your fingers. If I get it I won't be haunting dimensions as much.


----------



## CarlaSixx

I confess that I am terribly addicted to wigs and makeup and spend way too much on acquiring wigs. The longer, more feminine, the better. And yet, I pride myself on having short, spiky hair and an overall androgynous look. But I really should stop spending so much time and money looking for wigs. I mean... really!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tau said:


> Oh God I really, really want to shag my boss. He's based in the Uk and comes over 4 or 5 times a year and everytime I see him its like somebody poured molten lava into my panties. He's gorgeous - dark haired, blue eyes - with this leanly muscled delicious body and forearms totally ripped with glorious veins. He's charismatic. When he speaks I long to offer him my services, professional and otherwise, for free  I just...I just want to mount him like a clock! *whimpers*



Yum! I want him.



Lamia said:


> IC that I am bored at work so I flood dimensions with tons of useless mind garbage. 10 hour shift with nothing to do....In the 10 hours I have been here I have taken almost 20 calls....
> 
> I worry about job security no one wants to buy the *useless crap in our catalogs.* Good thing I put in for another position as an information systems clerk. Cross your fingers. If I get it I won't be haunting dimensions as much.



Love the way you promote your company.


----------



## Lamia

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Yum! I want him.
> 
> 
> 
> Love the way you promote your company.



Actually it's all pretty nice I was just in a bad mood. :blush:


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Lamia said:


> Actually it's all pretty nice I was just in a bad mood. :blush:



LOL I was just messing with you.


----------



## Gingembre

My f**k buddy has these periods where he goes AWOL and won't respond to any of my calls/texts...this weekend is one of those weekends..even though I have a whole house to myself (rarity!) and red wine...and am horny as hell!


----------



## Sweet Tooth

I'm thinking I need to reread "He's Just Not That Into You"... maybe after every date.

I keep thinking... there's always a :happy: or even :wubu: period, to some extent, followed by a :doh: WTF? sort of period, whether it be days, weeks, months, or years later. This is the relationship in a nutshell. LOL


----------



## Jes

i'm so angry i almost put my fist through a window tonight. or...TRIED to put it through.


----------



## Famouslastwords

Jes said:


> i'm so angry i almost put my fist through a window tonight. or...TRIED to put it through.



Why? And was it at least open?


----------



## mossystate

My appetite has been out of control the last 3 days. It is pissing me off.


----------



## Punkin1024

mossystate said:


> My appetite has been out of control the last 3 days. It is pissing me off.



I'm with you on this one! Can't seem to find what it is that is making me feel a need to eat - even though I am not hungry. It is aggrevating when this happens because I don't really enjoy what I'm eating. Eventually, I'll eat whatever it is that triggers this need to eat and I'll be back to normal. At least I'm sticking with mostly fruit, but, still, I have no idea what it is that I am needing so I can turn off the eat, eat, eat signal.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mossystate said:


> My appetite has been out of control the last 3 days. It is pissing me off.



I hear ya, sister.


----------



## mossystate

Punkin1024 said:


> .. - even though I am not hungry.



My problem is that I DO feel hungry. It had better stop, because I will not be amused if numbers go up.



MizzSnakeBite said:


> I hear ya, sister.



I want to blame somebody or something.....any ideas? lol


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mossystate said:


> I want to blame somebody or something.....any ideas? lol



<pondering>


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

mossystate said:


> My appetite has been out of control the last 3 days. It is pissing me off.



I have my own theories about hormones and my more ravenous days.....


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

mossystate said:


> My appetite has been out of control the last 3 days. It is pissing me off.



I have my own theories about hormones and my more ravenous days.....



Also, could it be _what_ you're eating that doesn't let you get satisfied/full?


----------



## BBW4Chattery

I confess that I've never told anyone that I'm pathetically, heart achingly, old school romance story heavily lonely and hopeless about finding love. Inspired to share by the single girls thread. I don't dwell on it and you'd never know by looking at me... but it hurts.

Happy confession: I confess that I love Antiques Road Show and ADORE the regular folks who end up with treasures but LIVE FOR the snobby folks who thought they had something great and get burned.


----------



## spiritangel

IC I want to buy every sexy nice piece of clothing and underwear I see that will fit and I like, but cant afford to doesnt stop me drooling though or buying new underwear (just three pairs and one was purple and one has butterflies sooo yeah had to have them )


----------



## jdsumm

BBW4Chattery said:


> I confess that I've never told anyone that I'm pathetically, heart achingly, old school romance story heavily lonely and hopeless about finding love. Inspired to share by the single girls thread. I don't dwell on it and you'd never know by looking at me... but it hurts.
> 
> ((((Hugs)))) Loneliness really sucks! So sorry that you are hurting.


----------



## Famouslastwords

mossystate said:


> My problem is that I DO feel hungry. It had better stop, because I will not be amused if numbers go up.
> 
> 
> 
> I want to blame somebody or something.....any ideas? lol




Are you eating a lot of high fructose corn syrup? Found in soda, bbq sauce, jelly, ketchup, umm, just about everything. If you are that interferes with the hunger hormone leptin which tells you you've been satiated.

*Edit* I have a few other foods to blame if this one doesn't fit the bill.

*Second Edit* There are versions of these available without high fructose corn syrup. So don't think I'm telling you to go throughout your life without ketchup for your fries!


----------



## littlefairywren

BBW4Chattery said:


> I confess that I've never told anyone that I'm pathetically, heart achingly, old school romance story heavily lonely and hopeless about finding love. Inspired to share by the single girls thread. I don't dwell on it and you'd never know by looking at me... but it hurts.



You are not alone in how you feel, BBW4Chattery. (((Hugs)))


----------



## Lovelyone

I confess that I had a huge crush on someone who was completely clueless. However, I think I would rather be hopelessly crushing on someone who is clueless than to have a crush on someone who knows...and just doesn't care.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Lovelyone said:


> I confess that I had a huge crush on someone who was completely clueless. However, I think I would rather be hopelessly crushing on someone who is clueless than to have a crush on someone who knows...and just doesn't care.



I'm so sorry.  It's always a blow when your feelings aren't reciprocated.


----------



## Tau

It pisses me off that my mom hates the way I dress. It also pisses me off that is pisses me off. This weekend was my sister's graduation and she tried to get me into this suit - I do not do suits and she knows this. So I wore a tiny red dress instead, kind of on purpose because her rage and embarrassment satisfy the bitch within, and she kept trying to cover me up with a jacket. God I was mad. It's the one thing about my fatness that still causes trouble between the two of us. Just makes me want to scream at her. I love this woman with every particle of my being - I don't get why she can't make peace with the way i choose to dress myself *sulks* because for me it says she's actually not cool at all with the way I look and I thought she almost was


----------



## Tau

aocutiepi said:


> I confess... that when we found out the gender of my little sister's baby tonight, I breathed a sigh of relief that it was a boy so she couldn't steal the baby name I've had picked out for years for a girl, which became her and her hubby's "first choice" girl name recently.
> 
> I confess... that I feel horrible about feeling that way because she's about the only good friend I have and it's not her fault she got married and started procreating before I even get to have a serious relationship!
> 
> 
> I love reading all of these confessions. It reminds me a lot of postsecret which is one of my guilty pleasures... it makes me feel less alone in the world because I could easily confess to a lot of the other confessions myself!



But chick it was your name first - don't feel bad about it! My Dad's eldest brother had two girls after my sister and I were born. Do you know he shamelessly thugged our names and gave them to our cousins LOL! When I found out I was indignant but my Dad says he meant it as a compliment. I was like: Old people


----------



## gobettiepurple

Tau said:


> But chick it was your name first - don't feel bad about it! My Dad's eldest brother had two girls after my sister and I were born. Do you know he shamelessly thugged our names and gave them to our cousins LOL! When I found out I was indignant but my Dad says he meant it as a compliment. I was like: Old people



*Until you are in a crazy family like mine, where everyone has the same name. I have a grandpa sam, an uncle sam and a cousin sam - each sam was married to a linda. I have two aunt lorraines, two aunt lorettas, and two lawrences. and my real name starts with an L as well . . . its crazy! i have two cousin valeries, and each are dating a walter. i have a ton of johns and josephs . . . complimentary or just plan weird? you decide! lol!*


----------



## olwen

Tau said:


> It pisses me off that my mom hates the way I dress. It also pisses me off that is pisses me off. This weekend was my sister's graduation and she tried to get me into this suit - I do not do suits and she knows this. So I wore a tiny red dress instead, kind of on purpose because her rage and embarrassment satisfy the bitch within, and she kept trying to cover me up with a jacket. God I was mad. It's the one thing about my fatness that still causes trouble between the two of us. Just makes me want to scream at her. I love this woman with every particle of my being - I don't get why she can't make peace with the way i choose to dress myself *sulks* because for me it says she's actually not cool at all with the way I look and I thought she almost was



Ha, I can identify with this. My mother doesn't like the way I dress either. She acts like the world might end if I wear a tank top and she scowls. I have told her I will wear whatever I want to and she says, "I know you will, I don't even know why I bother." I don't know why she bothers either. LOL. I have actually had extensive conversations with my mother about how fat chicks look better in fitted clothes the same way any other woman would, but she's still convinced I should wear mumus and super baggy clothes to hide all the fat, as if baggy clothes could hide it. Kinda strange how strongly magical thinking takes over people sometimes when it comes to fatness.


----------



## CarlaSixx

After years of not seeing this guy, I'm still not over him. At least, I'm not sure I am. When I pay attention to the guys who pass by, if anything from their look resembles the way he looked, I immediately think of him and wish it was him I was passing by. Just to say I saw him again. He made me feel the best of all the guys I've ever been into, and while our fling was short lived, it empowered me. And perhaps that's why I'm not completely over him.

And... I hate the heat. So bad. I have to wear small clothes now because I can't handle the heat and it's not helping me. I like to be covered for some reason. 

For example, I went and bought two dresses at WalMart the other day, and one of them had a zipper front. That one made me sho about 2 inches of cleavage, and I felt grossly overexposed. While I do appreciate my body, I love it more when it is fully covered and not all exposed. And though everyone has tried to assure me that it looks classy and that I don't look exposed at all, it's how I feel about it that bothers me.

But I also must confess that I was a little too excited about getting to shop for clothes in WalMart, lol. It's been about 3 years since I've been able to shop for clothes in there, and finally I was able to get stuff and have it fit pretty comfortably. I was so proud of that moment, as pathetic as some people may see it, getting to shop in a department store instead of a specialty store is something special to someone like me.

/confessions


----------



## Jes

gobettiepurple said:


> *[F]Until you are in a crazy family like mine, where everyone has the same name. I have a grandpa sam, an uncle sam and a cousin sam - each sam was married to a linda. I have two aunt lorraines, two aunt lorettas, and two lawrences. and my real name starts with an L as well . . . its crazy! i have two cousin valeries, and each are dating a walter. i have a ton of johns and josephs . . . complimentary or just plan weird? you decide! lol![/FONT]*


once, my best friend was dating an Ernie. And his friend Grover was toooootally into me. But I just couldn't...I mean, Ernie and Grover?


(also, I wasn't into him at all)


My confession: I'm very late writing up the bios for the 6 successful Scholarship Recipients that my committee has chosen. So I feel bad about that, but good that each student is getting $1000 from our very, very small committee.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Jes said:


> once, my best friend was dating an Ernie. And his friend Grover was toooootally into me. But I just couldn't...I mean, Ernie and Grover?
> 
> 
> (also, I wasn't into him at all)
> 
> 
> My confession: I'm very late writing up the bios for the 6 successful Scholarship Recipients that my committee has chosen. So I feel bad about that, but good that each student is getting $1000 from our very, very small committee.




Awww how nice. I like reading about things like this. I'm sure every one of those recipients will be thrilled.


I told my oldest daughter to be cracking down hard and applying for scholarships like crazy. I also told her that is she comes up with a good scholarship at the end of next year, then I will give her my car as a graduation gift. 

She likes my car......and she seems to be getting into the groove now. She did well on a placement test and her exams. She takes the SAT on Saturday. If she does well on that, too, then I will buy her a Netbook. 

I'm never above bribery


----------



## Punkin1024

One of my co-workers skipped lunch to attend a funeral, so when she got back to work, she was starving. Later, her daughter brought her a burger and fries from McDonalds. The smell of the fast food about drove me crazy. Luckily, we still had some burgers leftover from Memorial Day and I ate one as soon as I got home tonight!


CarlaSixx - You are not alone in choosing clothing that covers up. It is difficult for me to find something that will pass for work clothes (showing no cleavage) when the styles seem to be moving towards scoop neck tops and such. However, when I shop for casual, I buy scoop neck tops without a twinge of guilt!


----------



## Famouslastwords

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Awww how nice. I like reading about things like this. I'm sure every one of those recipients will be thrilled.
> 
> 
> I told my oldest daughter to be cracking down hard and applying for scholarships like crazy. I also told her that is she comes up with a good scholarship at the end of next year, then I will give her my car as a graduation gift.
> 
> She likes my car......and she seems to be getting into the groove now. She did well on a placement test and her exams. She takes the SAT on Saturday. If she does well on that, too, then I will buy her a Netbook.
> 
> I'm never above bribery




Oh Gefffy, don't buy her a Netbook, but her a laptop with a wifi card. Laptops can actually run microsoft word, and stuff and they both typically run about the same price. I got my Dell laptop with an awesome video card, 4 gig ram, umm dual core processors intel and stuff, for only $539 and it had a wifi card. The netbooks we were looking at were $389 and they're no good for running multiple applications and they're pretty much only good for online browsing. You should get her something she can do homework on.


----------



## Sweet Tooth

Famouslastwords said:


> Oh Gefffy, don't buy her a Netbook, but her a laptop with a wifi card. Laptops can actually run microsoft word, and stuff and they both typically run about the same price. I got my Dell laptop with an awesome video card, 4 gig ram, umm dual core processors intel and stuff, for only $539 and it had a wifi card. The netbooks we were looking at were $389 and they're no good for running multiple applications and they're pretty much only good for online browsing. You should get her something she can do homework on.



I have to disagree with the idea that netbooks are crap for anything but the internet. My netbook [and I chose the one I have very carefully] can run multiple apps, including full MS Office. I'll often run Word, Excel, a couple browser windows, and YIM at once. Plus, I got the larger battery, so I have 8 hours of battery life, which is really important when you're in classes that last several hours. I can stick mine in a large purse, and don't need to drag the cord around. Sure, I still have my full desktop at home, but I adore my netbook for so much stuff.


----------



## Punkin1024

I don't wanna go to sleep, but my eyes are closing on me! Sigh! So much internetting and t.v. to do, so little time.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Famouslastwords said:


> Oh Gefffy, don't buy her a Netbook, but her a laptop with a wifi card. Laptops can actually run microsoft word, and stuff and they both typically run about the same price. I got my Dell laptop with an awesome video card, 4 gig ram, umm dual core processors intel and stuff, for only $539 and it had a wifi card. The netbooks we were looking at were $389 and they're no good for running multiple applications and they're pretty much only good for online browsing. You should get her something she can do homework on.





Sweet Tooth said:


> I have to disagree with the idea that netbooks are crap for anything but the internet. My netbook [and I chose the one I have very carefully] can run multiple apps, including full MS Office. I'll often run Word, Excel, a couple browser windows, and YIM at once. Plus, I got the larger battery, so I have 8 hours of battery life, which is really important when you're in classes that last several hours. I can stick mine in a large purse, and don't need to drag the cord around. Sure, I still have my full desktop at home, but I adore my netbook for so much stuff.



That was my understanding of netbooks from the lady I work with that has one and from the guy that works in Best Buy- that netbooks are just smaller versions of laptops. I also like the idea of it being more portable for her to take to college and having three times the battery life of my lap top. (I saw one that had a 9 hr battery vs my three hour battery)

I got my lap top for about 400 bucks and priced netbooks for around 300.

I will be sure to ask again about running multiple programs before I buy anything.

Thanks Ladies


----------



## Punkin1024

I've had one of those brain fog, tail draggin', dumpy kinda mood days. I really do not like sunny, hot weather. 

Also, I seriously wanna buy some new clothes in aqua blues and violet to lavender colors, but can't afford to get them. Sigh! I'll have to console myself by dressing my YoVille Avatar in those colors and pretend its me.


----------



## Weeze

My name is Kris. Kristen. Krissy. K-Bo. Any of the above. 

My name is _not_ Sean's girlfriend's friend. Nope.


----------



## Weeze

Sweet Tooth said:


> I have to disagree with the idea that netbooks are crap for anything but the internet. My netbook [and I chose the one I have very carefully] can run multiple apps, including full MS Office. I'll often run Word, Excel, a couple browser windows, and YIM at once. Plus, I got the larger battery, so I have 8 hours of battery life, which is really important when you're in classes that last several hours. I can stick mine in a large purse, and don't need to drag the cord around. Sure, I still have my full desktop at home, but I adore my netbook for so much stuff.



Can I ask what you have?


----------



## spiritangel

IC I am missing my blog, and am bummed that my brain cannot fathom the way to fix it


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC that even though I love my 3 month old puppy and that she does help me continue to be active, her clinginess REALLY aggravates me sometimes and makes me wish I never got her in the first place. It makes me a bad mom to think like that but I honestly wish that she could give me some breathing room when she's out of her kennel because I have things to do other than watch her all the time. And most of those other things would be to her benefit but I can't grt any work done when all she does is cling to me and shtuff. It's frustrating!!!


----------



## Tau

gobettiepurple said:


> *Until you are in a crazy family like mine, where everyone has the same name. I have a grandpa sam, an uncle sam and a cousin sam - each sam was married to a linda. I have two aunt lorraines, two aunt lorettas, and two lawrences. and my real name starts with an L as well . . . its crazy! i have two cousin valeries, and each are dating a walter. i have a ton of johns and josephs . . . complimentary or just plan weird? you decide! lol!*



 I LOVE that!! The line where you go: and each sam was married to a Linda sounds like the beginning of a really funny book


----------



## Tau

Sweet Tooth said:


> I have to disagree with the idea that netbooks are crap for anything but the internet. My netbook [and I chose the one I have very carefully] can run multiple apps, including full MS Office. I'll often run Word, Excel, a couple browser windows, and YIM at once. Plus, I got the larger battery, so I have 8 hours of battery life, which is really important when you're in classes that last several hours. I can stick mine in a large purse, and don't need to drag the cord around. Sure, I still have my full desktop at home, but I adore my netbook for so much stuff.



I'd love to know the name of your netbook! 8 hours battery life!! Thats amazing! My Acer laptop only gives me 2 hours battery life max and lately I've been working a few projects in the bundus where there just isnt a plug point for hours and I've got to work.


----------



## Tau

olwen said:


> Ha, I can identify with this. My mother doesn't like the way I dress either. She acts like the world might end if I wear a tank top and she scowls. I have told her I will wear whatever I want to and she says, "I know you will, I don't even know why I bother." I don't know why she bothers either. LOL. I have actually had extensive conversations with my mother about how fat chicks look better in fitted clothes the same way any other woman would, but she's still convinced I should wear mumus and super baggy clothes to hide all the fat, as if baggy clothes could hide it. Kinda strange how strongly magical thinking takes over people sometimes when it comes to fatness.



Magical thinking  and your point is so true - just because the fat is covered with clothing does not make me less fat!!! In fact because of my height baggy clothes make me look frumpy and wrinkled and fatter than ever


----------



## Sweet Tooth

I have an Acer One netbook with a 6 cell battery that I got about a year ago. I use it pretty much daily. I travel with it. It basically goes in my big purse with me everywhere.

I had to also get a laptop for work a few months ago. I love the thing, truly. It's a beautiful top-of-the-line Sony Vaio with Windows 7 Professional and all sorts of other bells and whistles. However, my battery life on that is about 1 1/2 hours with barely doing more than typing up some stuff and not using the internet. [No wireless at work.]

I think each type of computer has distinct purposes and benefits. My nephew has a beautiful full-size laptop, but he's taken to using the netbook for classes just because of the portability and battery life. His is pretty much just like mine and we got it at Costco at Christmas for $300 with the 6 cell battery.

And, if you like to carry a mouse around, too, I got a cute mini mouse with a retractable cord that isn't big at all. If I want, I can just toss that in my bag, as it's half the size of my Blackberry.


----------



## CastingPearls

My mother didn't judge my clothing choices but she was a compulsive 'plucker' --always yelling at me to pull my shirt down or out of my rolls....she made me wear a girdle at 11.....I hated it. It made me extremely self-conscious at a very young age. I didn't know my fat was so unacceptable and subject to criticism. She was trying to protect me but it made me conscious when before I was blissfully ignorant and thought everyone would like me on face value, like I liked everyone else. I'm still a 'plucker' and a lot of my fat friends are and never even knew how common it was. One was actually relieved when I mentioned it. She thought she was all alone in that regard.


----------



## Tau

Sweet Tooth said:


> I have an Acer One netbook with a 6 cell battery that I got about a year ago. I use it pretty much daily. I travel with it. It basically goes in my big purse with me everywhere.
> 
> I had to also get a laptop for work a few months ago. I love the thing, truly. It's a beautiful top-of-the-line Sony Vaio with Windows 7 Professional and all sorts of other bells and whistles. However, my battery life on that is about 1 1/2 hours with barely doing more than typing up some stuff and not using the internet. [No wireless at work.]
> 
> I think each type of computer has distinct purposes and benefits. My nephew has a beautiful full-size laptop, but he's taken to using the netbook for classes just because of the portability and battery life. His is pretty much just like mine and we got it at Costco at Christmas for $300 with the 6 cell battery.
> 
> And, if you like to carry a mouse around, too, I got a cute mini mouse with a retractable cord that isn't big at all. If I want, I can just toss that in my bag, as it's half the size of my Blackberry.



Thanks so much for sharing - I'm definitely going to look into that


----------



## CarlaSixx

CastingPearls said:


> My mother didn't judge my clothing choices but she was a compulsive 'plucker' --always yelling at me to pull my shirt down or out of my rolls....she made me wear a girdle at 11.....I hated it. It made me extremely self-conscious at a very young age. I didn't know my fat was so unacceptable and subject to criticism. She was trying to protect me but it made me conscious when before I was blissfully ignorant and thought everyone would like me on face value, like I liked everyone else. I'm still a 'plucker' and a lot of my fat friends are and never even knew how common it was. One was actually relieved when I mentioned it. She thought she was all alone in that regard.



My family were all "pluckers" too and is probaly why I'm not used to showing anything. My mother is a little more open-minded about it now, but the damage has already been done. I knew there was a reason I abandonned my family, lol.


----------



## CastingPearls

CarlaSixx said:


> My family were all "pluckers" too and is probaly why I'm not used to showing anything. My mother is a little more open-minded about it now, but the damage has already been done. I knew there was a reason I abandonned my family, lol.


My mother never voiced her feelings about being fat. It wasn't until she was dying of gastric cancer that she revealed she'd always wanted to be thin, which I mentioned elsewhere on another thread. Ironically her excess weight allowed her to live 6 months longer than expected. But I'm thankful that even though she was unhappy she took pains to protect us (my siblings are all fat too) from others (like my paternal grandmother) who were deliberately cruel. Nothing could fully insulate us--she couldn't be everywhere but she protected us even to the point of alienating my father's family, a sacrifice for which I'm grateful.


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC that I am feeling unmotivated to write this 30 page term paper due at the end of the week. But I'm hoping to get a few pages in today just to get the ball rolling...


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC that I had this GREAT plan for a long story about a man falling in love with a BBW and all their adventures because of it... But the furthest I got was a summary and a character outline for each one. And don't feel motivated enough to even start writing. It's also not my life's story, so it's harder to write about when I have to imagine it. GAH! I'd write a happy ending to my last LTR but it would be too obvious to those in my personal life that would stumble across the story. And besides the character plot, I haven't written anything in quite a long time, which makes me feel really horrible  I miss being creative!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

CastingPearls said:


> My mother didn't judge my clothing choices but she was a compulsive 'plucker' --always yelling at me to pull my shirt down or out of my rolls....she made me wear a girdle at 11.....I hated it. It made me extremely self-conscious at a very young age. I didn't know my fat was so unacceptable and subject to criticism. She was trying to protect me but it made me conscious when before I was blissfully ignorant and thought everyone would like me on face value, like I liked everyone else. I'm still a 'plucker' and a lot of my fat friends are and never even knew how common it was. One was actually relieved when I mentioned it. She thought she was all alone in that regard.



My mom's the same way. I'm just like, "stop messing with me!" Doesn't work. lol


----------



## Cece Larue

IC that I had the most incredible sex of my life last night. He served as a reminder to never underestimate the power of skinny guys. Good lord ladies... those size 13 chucks didn't lie... and he sure as hell didn't disappoint. Even better though... the sweet txts he's been sending all day.


----------



## Tau

Cece Larue said:


> IC that I had the most incredible sex of my life last night. He served as a reminder to never underestimate the power of skinny guys. Good lord ladies... those size 13 chucks didn't lie... and he sure as hell didn't disappoint. Even better though... the sweet txts he's been sending all day.



OH YAY!!! How I loved reading this!!  Enjoy it chick. God I miss sex *curses*


----------



## BBW4Chattery

Cece Larue said:


> IC that I had the most incredible sex of my life last night. He served as a reminder to never underestimate the power of skinny guys. Good lord ladies... those size 13 chucks didn't lie... and he sure as hell didn't disappoint. Even better though... the sweet txts he's been sending all day.



Nice. I'm now living vicariously through you. Ok.


----------



## Crystal

Cece Larue said:


> IC that I had the most incredible sex of my life last night. He served as a reminder to never underestimate the power of skinny guys. Good lord ladies... those size 13 chucks didn't lie... and he sure as hell didn't disappoint. Even better though... the sweet txts he's been sending all day.



This sounds amazing. :happy:

And even better, he's being sweet afterwards! 

Congrats, hon! <3


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC that I resent the fact that the only guys that seem to be attracted to me are the ones I have no attraction for on my own. And yet... I can't find a way to say it nicely. Probably because I still wanna be friends, but it angers me when they hit on me because I am not attracted. 

GAH. I just want a guy I can like, too, to come through!


----------



## MisticalMisty

We really, really, really need for my husband to get a job. We are living with my SIL, his sister, and we have zero privacy...live with a huge, fucking dog in a one bedroom apartment with 3 humans..oh and did I mention no privacy.

We are newlyweds. This. Sucks.


----------



## Tau

MisticalMisty said:


> We really, really, really need for my husband to get a job. We are living with my SIL, his sister, and we have zero privacy...live with a huge, fucking dog in a one bedroom apartment with 3 humans..oh and did I mention no privacy.
> 
> We are newlyweds. This. Sucks.



*Big, big hugz* This does indeed suck but it is going to work itself out, even if right now the situation just sucks. Praying for you Misty.


----------



## Punkin1024

MisticalMisty said:


> We really, really, really need for my husband to get a job. We are living with my SIL, his sister, and we have zero privacy...live with a huge, fucking dog in a one bedroom apartment with 3 humans..oh and did I mention no privacy.
> 
> We are newlyweds. This. Sucks.



Well, dang! That is really, really tough! I'll be praying for you two! Hang in there, you have the rest of your lives ahead of you, this too shall pass. In the meantime, just a suggestion, but perhaps SIL will be willing to arrange a "date night" for ya'll so you can have some privacy.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

MisticalMisty said:


> We really, really, really need for my husband to get a job. We are living with my SIL, his sister, and we have zero privacy...live with a huge, fucking dog in a one bedroom apartment with 3 humans..oh and did I mention no privacy.
> 
> We are newlyweds. This. Sucks.



That sucks, but try to keep in the back of your mind how lucky you are to have a wonderful, loving husband, and a SIL that's willing to rearrange her life, and allow you two to live with her.  I'm sure things will slowly get better, and I hope he's able to find a job soon.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

I'm freaking out big time. Racing heart, shaking, blah, blah, blah. I see Dr. Bitch (my pain management doctor) tomorrow, and it's an all around awful experience. All the poking and prodding creates even more pain, and then the scale..... The dreaded scale. I'm sick of becoming a nervous wreck because of that scale. Even if I lose weight, she's all over me, when I gain, watch out..... What she says completely crosses the line, and has nothing to do with my medical welfare. I'd leave, but I cannot.


----------



## Punkin1024

MizzSnakeBite said:


> I'm freaking out big time. Racing heart, shaking, blah, blah, blah. I see Dr. Bitch (my pain management doctor) tomorrow, and it's an all around awful experience. All the poking and prodding creates even more pain, and then the scale..... The dreaded scale. I'm sick of becoming a nervous wreck because of that scale. Even if I lose weight, she's all over me, when I gain, watch out..... What she says completely crosses the line, and has nothing to do with my medical welfare. I'd leave, but I cannot.



So sorry this happens to you! Wish I could be there for support for you, just know I'm there in spirit and hoping all will come out alright. Also, as I told Misty - remember, this too shall pass. Before you know it, all will be poked, proded, etc. and you'll be out of that Dr.'s office and she'll be out of your hair for a while again. BIG HUGS!


----------



## CarlaSixx

I got my file closed at the mental ward in the local public hospital all because I missed an appointment for a checkup. It was their fault, but blamed me and I am PISSED about it. Now I have to go back to my family doctor and get referred to someone else and I am NOT HAPPY. NOT. ONE. EFFIN. BIT!


----------



## spiritangel

hmmmm lots of people needing big squishhy hugs hugs o all of you

IC I think some of the makers of ssbbw size underwear really have no Idea about designing for those sizes and I am guilty of calling them saddists lol


----------



## CarlaSixx

Second post from me!

IC that I hate my big fat arms. Well... I wouldn't hate them at all if they were completely covered in tattoos. In fact, I would love if my arms were covered! I think with full sleeves of tattoos, I would actually look really good in tank tops. Mind you, I just wanna be covered in tattoos anyways, lol.


----------



## Lovelyone

IC that I really really want to go off my...


----------



## msbard90

IC that I've been crushing on A LOT of guys lately. Must be hormones or something!


----------



## Cece Larue

IC... that I'm kinda on cloud nine. <3 lol


----------



## LovelyLiz

Cece Larue said:


> IC... that I'm kinda on cloud nine. <3 lol



Super glad to hear this! Glad the guy is a good and decent one.


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> I'm freaking out big time. Racing heart, shaking, blah, blah, blah. I see Dr. Bitch (my pain management doctor) tomorrow, and it's an all around awful experience. All the poking and prodding creates even more pain, and then the scale..... The dreaded scale. I'm sick of becoming a nervous wreck because of that scale. Even if I lose weight, she's all over me, when I gain, watch out..... What she says completely crosses the line, and has nothing to do with my medical welfare. I'd leave, but I cannot.



Fingers and toes crossed for you Momma Bird...and I still have my pitch fork at the ready! Just say the word


----------



## Tau

I'm so excited for this world cup I can barely sit still. There's vuvuzelas just bellowing in the the street right now and flags waving everywhere. This weekend is going to be INSANE!!! The party begins tonight!!!! I wish all you ladies were here with me - its going to be so much fun I want to cry *GLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!*


----------



## Aust99

So jealous Tau... I'm sure your going to have an amazing weekend and what a wonderful experience the world cup is going to be. I'll be watching it closely with my class... It's what I'm going to focus on with them for the next few weeks... fun for them and me.


----------



## LovelyLiz

MizzSnakeBite said:


> I'm freaking out big time. Racing heart, shaking, blah, blah, blah. I see Dr. Bitch (my pain management doctor) tomorrow, and it's an all around awful experience. All the poking and prodding creates even more pain, and then the scale..... The dreaded scale. I'm sick of becoming a nervous wreck because of that scale. Even if I lose weight, she's all over me, when I gain, watch out..... What she says completely crosses the line, and has nothing to do with my medical welfare. I'd leave, but I cannot.



That pre-doctor anxiety is the worst! Hugs, sistah. Hope she gives you what you need, and that other BS she spews doesn't penetrate you. Let us knwo how it goes.



Tau said:


> I'm so excited for this world cup I can barely sit still. There's vuvuzelas just bellowing in the the street right now and flags waving everywhere. This weekend is going to be INSANE!!! The party begins tonight!!!! I wish all you ladies were here with me - its going to be so much fun I want to cry *GLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!*



SO EXCITING!!!!!!!!!! You have to take some pics and post them up somewhere! Have a GREAT time, chica! Bag you some world cup loving men-folk!


----------



## Tiguan

Tau said:


> I'm so excited for this world cup I can barely sit still. There's vuvuzelas just bellowing in the the street right now and flags waving everywhere. This weekend is going to be INSANE!!! The party begins tonight!!!! I wish all you ladies were here with me - its going to be so much fun I want to cry *GLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!*



Enjoy, Tau! Party Hard


----------



## Weeze

dude... periods suck! Why am I supposed to have this again? I went for ELEVEN MONTHS without one. I really did not miss it.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Punkin1024 said:


> So sorry this happens to you! Wish I could be there for support for you, just know I'm there in spirit and hoping all will come out alright. Also, as I told Misty - remember, this too shall pass. Before you know it, all will be poked, proded, etc. and you'll be out of that Dr.'s office and she'll be out of your hair for a while again. BIG HUGS!





littlefairywren said:


> Fingers and toes crossed for you Momma Bird...and I still have my pitch fork at the ready! Just say the word





mcbeth said:


> That pre-doctor anxiety is the worst! Hugs, sistah. Hope she gives you what you need, and that other BS she spews doesn't penetrate you. Let us knwo how it goes.



Thanks ladies.

Punkin, I guess I never mentioned it here, just on the SS forum, but the disorder I have will kill me....so it won't pass. Average life expectancy is about 25yrs, and I've had it for over 15yrs. So, I have less than a decade. It gets worse with time, and starts "attacking" other parts of the body (it's already doing this to me). I have both types of the disorder, which is *extremely* rare, plus I got it at a young age (17), which is also *extremely* rare. My pain dr said I have pretty much the worst case she's seen.....

Sooooooo, it was depressing, once again. I've gained weight (a side-effect of one of my meds), but she didn't go after me like she usually does because of how much pain I'm in. She said it gets worse (already knew that), and that there's not much that can be done (already knew that lol). Another med increase (the med that causes major weight gain <sigh>). I'm going to be scheduled for another procedure. I'll hopefully have it done in the next couple weeks. It's a very risky procedure.......you can easily have seizures, become paralyzed, and because of very high powered anesthetics being put on the nerves around the neck and spinal cord, death can occur (paralyzes the nerves that control breathing, the heart, swallowing, etc). Oh well, it has to be done since I'm in agony.


----------



## Micara

Hugs to you, Mizz. I didn't know all that.  I think you are very brave and strong, and I am thinking about you.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Micara said:


> Hugs to you, Mizz. I didn't know all that.  I think you are very brave and strong, and I am thinking about you.



Thank ya, missus


----------



## Tau

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Thanks ladies.
> 
> Punkin, I guess I never mentioned it here, just on the SS forum, but the disorder I have will kill me....so it won't pass. Average life expectancy is about 25yrs, and I've had it for over 15yrs. So, I have less than a decade. It gets worse with time, and starts "attacking" other parts of the body (it's already doing this to me). I have both types of the disorder, which is *extremely* rare, plus I got it at a young age (17), which is also *extremely* rare. My pain dr said I have pretty much the worst case she's seen.....
> 
> Sooooooo, it was depressing, once again. I've gained weight (a side-effect of one of my meds), but she didn't go after me like she usually does because of how much pain I'm in. She said it gets worse (already knew that), and that there's not much that can be done (already knew that lol). Another med increase (the med that causes major weight gain <sigh>). I'm going to be scheduled for another procedure. I'll hopefully have it done in the next couple weeks. It's a very risky procedure.......you can easily have seizures, become paralyzed, and because of very high powered anesthetics being put on the nerves around the neck and spinal cord, death can occur (paralyzes the nerves that control breathing, the heart, swallowing, etc). Oh well, it has to be done since I'm in agony.



Oh chick  I wanted to let you know I'm beaming all the good energy and health and love i can your way and praying *HUGZ*


----------



## Tau

Weeze said:


> dude... periods suck! Why am I supposed to have this again? I went for ELEVEN MONTHS without one. I really did not miss it.



How did you manage to skip 11 months?? Mine is regular as fucking clockwork and turns me into the Kraken


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tau said:


> Oh chick  I wanted to let you know I'm beaming all the good energy and health and love i can your way and praying *HUGZ*



Thanks babe 



Tau said:


> How did you manage to skip 11 months?? Mine is regular as fucking clockwork and *turns me into the Kraken*



LOL I turn into the Chewmanator (I chew everyone out ).


----------



## spiritangel

hugs MizzSnakeBite that is certainly a sucky roll of the dice

I havent probably experienced your pain ect but this is what helped me get through some really bad bouts of cellulitus

http://www.aroma.com.au/product.php?productNum=16

and its natural its like codine for the body is a little expensive but one bottle will last a good 6-12months even with constant use


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

spiritangel said:


> hugs MizzSnakeBite that is certainly a sucky roll of the dice
> 
> I havent probably experienced your pain ect but this is what helped me get through some really bad bouts of cellulitus
> 
> http://www.aroma.com.au/product.php?productNum=16
> 
> and its natural its like codine for the body is a little expensive but one bottle will last a good 6-12months even with constant use



Thanks SA


----------



## luscious_lulu

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Thanks ladies.
> 
> Punkin, I guess I never mentioned it here, just on the SS forum, but the disorder I have will kill me....so it won't pass. Average life expectancy is about 25yrs, and I've had it for over 15yrs. So, I have less than a decade. It gets worse with time, and starts "attacking" other parts of the body (it's already doing this to me). I have both types of the disorder, which is *extremely* rare, plus I got it at a young age (17), which is also *extremely* rare. My pain dr said I have pretty much the worst case she's seen.....
> 
> Sooooooo, it was depressing, once again. I've gained weight (a side-effect of one of my meds), but she didn't go after me like she usually does because of how much pain I'm in. She said it gets worse (already knew that), and that there's not much that can be done (already knew that lol). Another med increase (the med that causes major weight gain <sigh>). I'm going to be scheduled for another procedure. I'll hopefully have it done in the next couple weeks. It's a very risky procedure.......you can easily have seizures, become paralyzed, and because of very high powered anesthetics being put on the nerves around the neck and spinal cord, death can occur (paralyzes the nerves that control breathing, the heart, swallowing, etc). Oh well, it has to be done since I'm in agony.



I was actually thinking about you today and wondering if you had rescheduled your appointment with DR EVIL. *big hugs*


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> I was actually thinking about you today and wondering if you had rescheduled your appointment with DR EVIL. *big hugs*



Thanks sweetie .

Yep, she's definitely evil.....omg, the shit that comes out of her mouth...


----------



## MisticalMisty

MizzSnakeBite said:


> That sucks, but try to keep in the back of your mind how lucky you are to have a wonderful, loving husband, and a SIL that's willing to rearrange her life, and allow you two to live with her.  I'm sure things will slowly get better, and I hope he's able to find a job soon.



Umm..yeah. Pretty sure I'm well aware of all of that. But thanks.


----------



## cute&curly

I confess I've been eavesdropping on you lovely people for a few weeks now. I finally decided I should join in on the fun.


----------



## LovelyLiz

cute&curly said:


> I confess I've been eavesdropping on you lovely people for a few weeks now. I finally decided I should join in on the fun.



Welcome! Glad you're here.  Have anything else to confess?


----------



## CastingPearls

Hi Cute&Curly. Welcome. Post often.

I confess that I've had a headache for two days. I've also been crying for weeks. I don't always know what to do and I don't have an answer for everything. I can't do everything by myself or solve every puzzle. I just can't and I'm done trying. I'm not a quitter but some things are just futile. I don't even want sympathy. I just want the hurting to stop.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

cute&curly said:


> I confess I've been eavesdropping on you lovely people for a few weeks now. I finally decided I should join in on the fun.



Welcome! Glad you decided to join in.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

MisticalMisty said:


> Umm..yeah. Pretty sure I'm well aware of all of that. But thanks.



Sorry if my post came across as bitchy......it's just that so many would like to be in your situation (even having to live with a family member since they're losing their homes and have nowhere to go)... We all need to be reminded of the stuff we should be grateful for (yes, I'm including myself in that lol). 

I sincerely hope Rob's able to find a job, and both of you are able to get your own place, and have a wonderful rest of your marriage.  



CastingPearls said:


> Hi Cute&Curly. Welcome. Post often.
> 
> I confess that I've had a headache for two days. I've also been crying for weeks. I don't always know what to do and I don't have an answer for everything. I can't do everything by myself or solve every puzzle. I just can't and I'm done trying. I'm not a quitter but some things are just futile. I don't even want sympathy. I just want the hurting to stop.



I'm so sorry, hon . I truly understand. I know words aren't going to help right now, but just know that we're with you in spirit. Very gentle (((hugs))).


----------



## Punkin1024

I am so sorry, Miz! I wasn't aware that your condition is non-curable. I hope the new meds will help your pain and just know you will be in my prayers. 
Gentle (((hugs)))


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I want to go watch Prince of Persia only to watch Jake Gyllenhaal and listen to him speak with a British accent :wubu:

I have a feeling Dan Radcliffe is gonna look and be like Jake when he's older... and that's pretty sexy :wubu: :blush: I totally need a life, lol.


----------



## Jes

i confess that someone did me a basic human kindness today that was so touching, I teared up.

I also confess how proud I am of my 10 year old niece--she and her best friend escorted soccer players from the Chicago Fire and AC Milan onto the field last weekend before the game. All of the other kids were boys, so it was just the 2 girls, and they ended up being invited to meet the great Brazilian player Ronaldhino. Very awesome.


----------



## spiritangel

IC I accidentally hit the button one to many times and accidentally listed 40 readings on ebay instead of 20, now I dont know weather to pannic or pray they all sell so I can pay the electricity bill in one hit lol but dont want to cancell them and waste the money spent listing them


----------



## Vespertine

Jes, wow...I know exactly what you mean. Simple kindness needs to make a big comeback 

IC I am officially overwhelmed by what needs doing before I can move and am heading into escapist procrastination. I want to go to sleep and wake up and just be moved. I think I may be nearing the end of my nomad phase, this will be the 16th move in 10 years.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Vespertine said:


> Jes, wow...I know exactly what you mean. Simple kindness needs to make a big comeback
> 
> IC I am officially overwhelmed by what needs doing before I can move and am heading into escapist procrastination. I want to go to sleep and wake up and just be moved. I think I may be nearing the end of my nomad phase, this will be the 16th move in 10 years.



Maybe the universe is telling you to stay in L.A.?  Nah, I know you need to move on, so your soul can breathe and all... Let me know if you need any extra moving help!


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Thanks ladies.
> 
> Punkin, I guess I never mentioned it here, just on the SS forum, but the disorder I have will kill me....so it won't pass. Average life expectancy is about 25yrs, and I've had it for over 15yrs. So, I have less than a decade. It gets worse with time, and starts "attacking" other parts of the body (it's already doing this to me). I have both types of the disorder, which is *extremely* rare, plus I got it at a young age (17), which is also *extremely* rare. My pain dr said I have pretty much the worst case she's seen.....
> 
> Sooooooo, it was depressing, once again. I've gained weight (a side-effect of one of my meds), but she didn't go after me like she usually does because of how much pain I'm in. She said it gets worse (already knew that), and that there's not much that can be done (already knew that lol). Another med increase (the med that causes major weight gain <sigh>). I'm going to be scheduled for another procedure. I'll hopefully have it done in the next couple weeks. It's a very risky procedure.......you can easily have seizures, become paralyzed, and because of very high powered anesthetics being put on the nerves around the neck and spinal cord, death can occur (paralyzes the nerves that control breathing, the heart, swallowing, etc). Oh well, it has to be done since I'm in agony.



Lots of my squishy hugs, darling girl! At least that stupid Dr held her tongue for a change. Send me a pm when you are due for that procedure ok, so I don't get myself in a panic about Momma Bird like last time :doh:

You will come through that procedure no problem, I know it!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Punkin1024 said:


> I am so sorry, Miz! I wasn't aware that your condition is non-curable. I hope the new meds will help your pain and just know you will be in my prayers.
> Gentle (((hugs)))



Thanks Ella . She's increasing the dosage on a med I'm already on. Because it's being increased to such a high dosage, the pharmacy won't fill it until the talk to her, the drug company, and then myself (once they've spoken with everyone else.). I'm sooooooooooo glad I have a backup supply of the med since they haven't filled it yet, and it might be a week before they do (seizures can occur if you stop taking it).



Vespertine said:


> IC I am officially overwhelmed by what needs doing before I can move and am heading into escapist procrastination. I want to go to sleep and wake up and just be moved. I think I may be nearing the end of my nomad phase, this will be the 16th move in 10 years.



Good grief! 16 moves in 10 years!! I hope your move goes as well as possible, and you settle down for a bit!



littlefairywren said:


> Lots of my squishy hugs, darling girl! At least that stupid Dr held her tongue for a change. Send me a pm when you are due for that procedure ok, so I don't get myself in a panic about Momma Bird like last time :doh:
> 
> You will come through that procedure no problem, I know it!



Thanks my chicklet :happy:. I'll make sure and let you know. Hopefully this time, it'll go smoothly and I won't have any complications! It'll be done at a different hospital (yea! lol).


----------



## spiritangel

IC there is still only one person who gives me major butterflies and makes my tummy do summersaults and my heart go pitter patter lol and I have no idea if that is a good or bad thing...................


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that I'm back to walking again and love the feeling of accomplishment when I've finished my evening walk. Size 3X, here I come!


----------



## Surlysomething

I feel hopeless.

My medical conditions..
My job..
My place..

Everything.


Honestly not sure how long I can stand it.


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I dropped out of high school three times. I'm still not a graduate. I am three credits away from a high school diploma in Advanced level courses. And I don't feel an ounce of regret, which everyone else wants me to feel. If the time is right, I'll go back. If I find something better without schooling, I won't go back at all. It is my decision and the pressure is not going to make me crack. People can disapprove all they want. I know my level of intelligence and I don't need a piece of shiny paper to show it to me. Nor do I need to prove it to anyone else. And I think that confidence is what makes people disapprove of my choice to drop out.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Punkin1024 said:


> IC that I'm back to walking again and love the feeling of accomplishment when I've finished my evening walk. Size 3X, here I come!



Good for you! 



Surlysomething said:


> I feel hopeless.
> 
> My medical conditions..
> My job..
> My place..
> 
> Everything.
> 
> 
> Honestly not sure how long I can stand it.



 I understand. (((hugs)))


----------



## Punkin1024

Surlysomething said:


> I feel hopeless.
> 
> My medical conditions..
> My job..
> My place..
> 
> Everything.
> 
> 
> Honestly not sure how long I can stand it.



I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. I wish there was something I could do to help. (((((((Surly)))))))


----------



## olwen

CarlaSixx said:


> IC I dropped out of high school three times. I'm still not a graduate. I am three credits away from a high school diploma in Advanced level courses. And I don't feel an ounce of regret, which everyone else wants me to feel. If the time is right, I'll go back. If I find something better without schooling, I won't go back at all. It is my decision and the pressure is not going to make me crack. People can disapprove all they want. I know my level of intelligence and I don't need a piece of shiny paper to show it to me. Nor do I need to prove it to anyone else. And I think that confidence is what makes people disapprove of my choice to drop out.



Have you thought about getting a GED?


----------



## CarlaSixx

olwen, I am closer to graduating with a full diploma than needing a GED. I have 3 credits left. That means I completed 3 and a half years of high school. I dropped out in the second semester of my grade 12. I have 27 credits under my belt, and they are ALL in Advanced Level courses. I am not going to go down in levels and do a GED just to have something over with when I am doing aeons higher level grades than a GED expects in my area. I just don't have a want or a need to finish my last 3 credits. Which is actually just 2 and a half, but I call it 3. Halves are just weird, anyways.


----------



## olwen

CarlaSixx said:


> olwen, I am closer to graduating with a full diploma than needing a GED. I have 3 credits left. That means I completed 3 and a half years of high school. I dropped out in the second semester of my grade 12. I have 27 credits under my belt, and they are ALL in Advanced Level courses. I am not going to go down in levels and do a GED just to have something over with when I am doing aeons higher level grades than a GED expects in my area. I just don't have a want or a need to finish my last 3 credits. Which is actually just 2 and a half, but I call it 3. Halves are just weird, anyways.



I dropped out of college cause I was sick of school and thought I didn't need it, but after two years of working the only crappy jobs I was qualified for, I realized I had to go back if I wanted to make more money. A fat lower middle class black girl needs every advantage she can get. I'm glad I went back. 

....Well, I really hope at some point that you change your mind.


----------



## CarlaSixx

Right now I am physically and mentally unfit to work, and am a live-in caregiver to my disabled mother. I am in no rush to find a normal job nor finish my schooling, as it would only be a disservice to myself and my situation.


----------



## olwen

CarlaSixx said:


> Right now I am physically and mentally unfit to work, and am a live-in caregiver to my disabled mother. I am in no rush to find a normal job nor finish my schooling, as it would only be a disservice to myself and my situation.



Well, good luck with all of that.


----------



## NYCGabriel

Sweet Tooth said:


> I have to disagree with the idea that netbooks are crap for anything but the internet. My netbook [and I chose the one I have very carefully] can run multiple apps, including full MS Office. I'll often run Word, Excel, a couple browser windows, and YIM at once. Plus, I got the larger battery, so I have 8 hours of battery life, which is really important when you're in classes that last several hours. I can stick mine in a large purse, and don't need to drag the cord around. Sure, I still have my full desktop at home, but I adore my netbook for so much stuff.



I use my netbook for:
playing of city heroes FLAWLESSLY I might add
view movies I've d/l'ed
writing
web browsing
html editing
listening to music

and I'm using only 20% of it's space. This Asus EEE is a godsend.


----------



## msbard90

CarlaSixx said:


> IC I dropped out of high school three times. I'm still not a graduate. I am three credits away from a high school diploma in Advanced level courses. And I don't feel an ounce of regret, which everyone else wants me to feel. If the time is right, I'll go back. If I find something better without schooling, I won't go back at all. It is my decision and the pressure is not going to make me crack. People can disapprove all they want. I know my level of intelligence and I don't need a piece of shiny paper to show it to me. Nor do I need to prove it to anyone else. And I think that confidence is what makes people disapprove of my choice to drop out.





CarlaSixx said:


> olwen, I am closer to graduating with a full diploma than needing a GED. I have 3 credits left. That means I completed 3 and a half years of high school. I dropped out in the second semester of my grade 12. I have 27 credits under my belt, and they are ALL in Advanced Level courses. I am not going to go down in levels and do a GED just to have something over with when I am doing aeons higher level grades than a GED expects in my area. I just don't have a want or a need to finish my last 3 credits. Which is actually just 2 and a half, but I call it 3. Halves are just weird, anyways.





CarlaSixx said:


> Right now I am physically and mentally unfit to work, and am a live-in caregiver to my disabled mother. I am in no rush to find a normal job nor finish my schooling, as it would only be a disservice to myself and my situation.



I'm sorry that you're in a sticky situation right now. I can tell you're a very smart girl. Have you tried home-schooling to get the credits you need? When I was in my senior year of high school, I became pregnant. I thought I'd never finish. But there was this alternative school for teenage moms that really helped me overcome my situation and now I'm a junior in college. If you ask for help, surely someone can find a way for you to get those credits, and you can still be able to take care of your mother. It seems like education doesn't matter much at this point in life (I know I felt the same way), but it makes a difference. I really hope you decide to go back to school because it is worth it in the end. If you ever need someone to talk to, just PM me.


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC that an old college roommate of mine sent out a mass email about how her and her husband are in an infomercial because they lost about 25 pounds each on some kind of "Christian" weight loss program; and I am trying to decide if and how I want to respond. Whatever about going on a diet, I don't care about that - but in the clip she talks about how she felt so ugly being fat and now she's going to be hot, etc etc and then made it seem like God was all for her being "hot" too. Anyway, it's just annoying to me, on several different levels.


----------



## msbard90

mcbeth said:


> IC that an old college roommate of mine sent out a mass email about how her and her husband are in an infomercial because they lost about 25 pounds each on some kind of "Christian" weight loss program; and I am trying to decide if and how I want to respond. Whatever about going on a diet, I don't care about that - but in the clip she talks about how she felt so ugly being fat and now she's going to be hot, etc etc and then made it seem like God was all for her being "hot" too. Anyway, it's just annoying to me, on several different levels.



I wouldn't respond. A) Its a MASS email. I'm sure that someone else responded by now. B) If you think she's being annoying, don't say anything. The best piece of advice I have ever learned was from my 5th grade D.A.R.E. officer- "If it sounds TOO good when you're thinking about saying it to someone, it's probably too good, so don't", which basically means if you have some really GOOD comeback, think twice before saying it. I'd stay neutral about it. 

Well, good luck


----------



## LovelyLiz

msbard90 said:


> I wouldn't respond. A) Its a MASS email. I'm sure that someone else responded by now. B) If you think she's being annoying, don't say anything. The best piece of advice I have ever learned was from my 5th grade D.A.R.E. officer- "If it sounds TOO good when you're thinking about saying it to someone, it's probably too good, so don't", which basically means if you have some really GOOD comeback, think twice before saying it. I'd stay neutral about it.
> 
> Well, good luck



Thanks.  I guess I think it's good to show people the other side of things, especially when they are spreading values and ideas that I think are destructive. But we'll see.


----------



## msbard90

But is it worth your time to try to change someone who's brainwashed with her Christian diet, or whatever it was? If she was personally telling YOU to do it, then that's when I'd be like, "whoa whoa wait... I'm don't believe in what you're telling me to do. " Until then, I'd leave well enough alone.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

mcbeth said:


> Thanks.  I guess I think it's good to show people the other side of things, especially when they are spreading values and ideas that I think are destructive. But we'll see.




It all kind of reminds me of those conservative propaganda emails my Aunt has been forwarding me.....for about ten years now. I had a few moments when I wanted to send her an email telling her I'm one of those liberals that voted for Clinton AND Obama. 
She's always been good to me.....and I figure that anything I say to her won't change her mind/opinion.....just like all those stupid emails have never changed mine. In the end, it doesn't seem worth the argument over some mass emails that I can easily get rid of....and sometimes chuckle at even. 
I just hit delete and enjoy the Christmas cards we exchange.


----------



## CastingPearls

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> It all kind of reminds me of those conservative propaganda emails my Aunt has been forwarding me.....for about ten years now. I had a few moments when I wanted to send her an email telling her I'm one of those liberals that voted for Clinton AND Obama.
> She's always been good to me.....and I figure that anything I say to her won't change her mind/opinion.....just like all those stupid emails have never changed mine. In the end, it doesn't seem worth the argument over some mass emails that I can easily get rid of....and sometimes chuckle at even.
> I just hit delete and enjoy the Christmas cards we exchange.


At my wedding reception the husband of one of my best friends took it upon himself to tuck religious tracts into our table centerpieces, admonished the DJ who was conducting a conga line that he was leading people straight to hell, and sought out my husband of exactly two hours to tell him to always keep me in line or our marriage would be doomed.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

CastingPearls said:


> At my wedding reception the husband of one of my best friends took it upon himself to tuck religious tracts into our table centerpieces, admonished the DJ who was conducting a conga line that he was leading people straight to hell, and sought out my husband of exactly two hours to tell him to always keep me in line or our marriage would be doomed.



He wouldn't be invited to any other gatherings I held, that's for sure. 

That AND he would get no Christmas card........


----------



## CastingPearls

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> He wouldn't be invited to any other gatherings I held, that's for sure.
> 
> That AND he would get no Christmas card........


Never was. In fact, the next day he called MY FATHER to apologize to HIM. My father told him to go fuck himself.

He thinks Christmas is a satanic holiday so I make sure I send them one with that demonic Santa and his hellish reindeer every year. I consider it a coup if it is also musical.


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I'm on quite the rock binge right now. Replaced all my songs on my cell and iPod with rock only. It feels awesome. Like I've got myself back. Actually, this forum has helped me feel like I've got myself back again, which is AWESOME because I needed it so badly.


----------



## Vespertine

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Good grief! 16 moves in 10 years!! I hope your move goes as well as possible, and you settle down for a bit!



Meee tooo. And thank you!



mcbeth said:


> IC that an old college roommate of mine sent out a mass email about how her and her husband are in an infomercial because they lost about 25 pounds each on some kind of "Christian" weight loss program; and I am trying to decide if and how I want to respond. Whatever about going on a diet, I don't care about that - but in the clip she talks about how she felt so ugly being fat and now she's going to be hot, etc etc and then made it seem like God was all for her being "hot" too. Anyway, it's just annoying to me, on several different levels.



If you're moved to reply then I'd say do it. GEF has a point, if it were my aunt I'd just say w/e since holidays are awkward enough but this is your peer. If I were in your position I'd want to say something, but just end up laughing.... 



CastingPearls said:


> He thinks Christmas is a satanic holiday so I make sure I send them one with that demonic Santa and his hellish reindeer every year. I consider it a coup if it is also musical.



I lol'd


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that I've been trying to decide whether the "thin is good" mantra or "be happy as you are" mantra is best for me. The "be happy as you are" mantra is winning out - BIG time! Now, all I gotta do is convince friends and family of this.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Vespertine said:


> If you're moved to reply then I'd say do it. GEF has a point, if it were my aunt I'd just say w/e since holidays are awkward enough but this is your peer. If I were in your position I'd want to say something, but just end up laughing....



So, today I actually did end up sending her an email expressing my concern over the product she was endorsing (or at least, how it was being framed). She and I had talked about body image issues in the past, and she was really an advocate for people of all sizes to love and accept themselves...but this was like 10 years ago, so I think she kind of got stuck back in the main views of society (which is so easy to do!). 

I was really scared when I sent it, but it actually went really well! She wrote a very gracious reply, and thanked me for reminding her of the truth. She said it's really easy being in the entertainment industry to slip into that mentality that thin=hot and into body hatred without even realizing it. Anyway, just wanted to share that. Sometimes standing up for what you believe can make a difference, even just in small ways.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

CastingPearls said:


> Never was. In fact, the next day he called MY FATHER to apologize to HIM. My father told him to go fuck himself.
> 
> He thinks Christmas is a satanic holiday so I make sure I send them one with that demonic Santa and his hellish reindeer every year. I consider it a coup if it is also musical.



I tried to rep you for satan.....errrr santa.

Wouldn't it be great if you could find a light up card where satan/santa's eyes glow red?


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> He wouldn't be invited to any other gatherings I held, that's for sure.
> 
> That AND he would get no Christmas card........





CastingPearls said:


> Never was. In fact, the next day he called MY FATHER to apologize to HIM. My father told him to go fuck himself.
> 
> He thinks Christmas is a satanic holiday so I make sure I send them one with that demonic Santa and his hellish reindeer every year. I consider it a coup if it is also musical.





Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I tried to rep you for satan.....errrr santa.
> 
> Wouldn't it be great if you could find a light up card where satan/santa's eyes glow red?



This whole exchange just had me laughing! 



Punkin1024 said:


> IC that I've been trying to decide whether the "thin is good" mantra or "be happy as you are" mantra is best for me. The "be happy as you are" mantra is winning out - BIG time! Now, all I gotta do is convince friends and family of this.



Good for you, Ella! At least you know there is at least one please where you know your mantra will be believed.


----------



## Tau

CarlaSixx said:


> IC I dropped out of high school three times. I'm still not a graduate. I am three credits away from a high school diploma in Advanced level courses. And I don't feel an ounce of regret, which everyone else wants me to feel. If the time is right, I'll go back. If I find something better without schooling, I won't go back at all. It is my decision and the pressure is not going to make me crack. People can disapprove all they want. I know my level of intelligence and I don't need a piece of shiny paper to show it to me. Nor do I need to prove it to anyone else. And I think that confidence is what makes people disapprove of my choice to drop out.



I confess I've debated responding to this for a while cos I really, really dont want to sound like a preachy bitch but this post kinda struck a cord. Maybe its where I'm from but anyway - here goes: In my country education is everything. Today in fact we celebrate and remember the lives of all the children who protested the Apartheid education system, which was a system intent on keeping them uneducated black slaves, and ended up shot dead by the police. In my part of the world if you don't finish school you end up doing the work nobody else will touch. As a fat woman, as a woman who will already be discriminated against because of the way you look, I'd strongly urge you to look at getting that piece of paper. It's not about pleasing other people - it's more about making sure you give yourself every advantage possible so that you have true power, choices, and real control over your life - and earning really decent money honestly does not hurt


----------



## CarlaSixx

It would be much easier to find a reason to get the piece of paper if I had any goals I wanted to reach. Sadly, there's nothing. And until I can come up with a career goal, I'm not going back. I really don't have much a reason to. When you can't dream, you can't accomplish. And that's where I'm at right now. There's no career out there that I am interested in doing. At least not longer than a year, which would make any schooling a total waste.


----------



## Tau

CarlaSixx said:


> It would be much easier to find a reason to get the piece of paper if I had any goals I wanted to reach. Sadly, there's nothing. And until I can come up with a career goal, I'm not going back. I really don't have much a reason to. When you can't dream, you can't accomplish. And that's where I'm at right now. There's no career out there that I am interested in doing. At least not longer than a year, which would make any schooling a total waste.



*huge hugz* I hope your dreams come back and that you find a passion for something soon.


----------



## Surlysomething

Thanks, sweet people.


----------



## CarlaSixx

Tau said:


> *huge hugz* I hope your dreams come back and that you find a passion for something soon.



Thanks. A lot has happened to make me stop dreaming and I'm trying to get it all back, but it's hard, and people don't really understand that and try to push me to do things they would do, but they've never had to be in the situations I've been in, so they don't know why this is my stance. I might just be a late bloomer in the end. Only time will tell.

-----

I confess... my dog is starting to cry and bark ALL THE TIME when I'm not giving her attention and I'm close to breaking down. I love her and all, but this is ridiculous. I'm hoping it's just because she knows she's getting a vaccination done on her tomorrow.


----------



## luscious_lulu

CarlaSixx said:


> Thanks. A lot has happened to make me stop dreaming and I'm trying to get it all back, but it's hard, and people don't really understand that and try to push me to do things they would do, but they've never had to be in the situations I've been in, so they don't know why this is my stance. I might just be a late bloomer in the end. Only time will tell.
> .



I don't know what's happened in your life, but maybe you should look at going to see a psychotherapist. Sometimes talk about things with an impartial 3rd party can help.


----------



## Carrie

CarlaSixx said:


> I confess... my dog is starting to cry and bark ALL THE TIME when I'm not giving her attention and I'm close to breaking down. I love her and all, but this is ridiculous. I'm hoping it's just because she knows she's getting a vaccination done on her tomorrow.


Hi, Carla.  Hope you don't mind me butting in, but based on this post and a few others you've made about your dog, I wanted to encourage you to talk to your veterinarian about this while you're there today (and if you've already gone, you can always call them to discuss it). It sounds like some independence training would be a very good thing to work on with your pup, so you don't ultimately find yourself dealing with separation anxiety. Most veterinarians consider behavioral issues as important as health issues (and sometimes the former is a symptom of the latter), so definitely use your vet as a resource to see if you can't work on some of the things you are finding challenging with your pup and make life better for both of you. Good luck!


----------



## mossystate

CarlaSixx said:


> I confess... my dog is starting to cry and bark ALL THE TIME when I'm not giving her attention and I'm close to breaking down. I love her and all, but this is ridiculous. I'm hoping it's just because she knows she's getting a vaccination done on her tomorrow.



Carla, I hope you can catch a breath and figure some thing out for your life. 

One other little thing about your dog. I know that I am experiencing extreme stress right now, and my cat is showing signs that it is affecting him as well. I know you probably know this, but animals very much tune into our emotions. Just keep an eye on her, so things don't slide into more issues with her, if you can. It's all a lot to handle, I am sure. I wish you the best.


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I had two breakdowns today. One was onset by the fact that my puppy's face was insanely swollen after getting a needle and I was extremely scared for her. But I got her some meds and she's pretty much back to normal. 

The second breakdown was just by feeling overwhelmed from cleaning up after everyone and their spills.

I've been having too many breakdowns and I know I need to go back to the hospital for treatment but they closed my file and now I'm screwed out of what I need  And it worries me that something is going to go wrong.


----------



## Jes

mcbeth said:


> Thanks.  I guess I think it's good to show people the other side of things, especially when they are spreading values and ideas that I think are destructive. But we'll see.



You could use it as a teaching moment, but know that no matter what you say or how you say it, she's not gonna like it and she probably won't think it resonates with her. You could always give her the ole: I'm glad you've succeeded in a goal that's important to you, but I'm sorry to hear you felt ugly when you weighed more. Looks aren't everything and God loves you either way. He certainly loves me and I'm fat.

blah blah. That kind of thing.

But you know, this strikes me as that creepy thing people do when something 'miraculous' happens in their lives. Like the Smart family. Elizabeth came home and Ed kept talking about how their miracle came about b/c they knew she'd be OK and they prayed every day and b/c they stayed devout, god listened and whatever. 

First off, she came home b/c she was kept alive (to be raped daily) by her captors and her sister remembered salient details and the Smart family pushed the issue with America's Most Wanted. But the whole 'We prayed harder!' thing must make other families who prayed hard too, but whose children never came home, feel like shit. If you're linking a positive outcome to a God and the virtue of your prayers, you're denigrating the honest prayers of others. That has always sat wrong with me, and it feels like, in some way, your friend is doing the same. 

creepy.


----------



## smiley55

Carla,

I hope whatever path you decide to choose will make you the happiest that you can be. I am thinking of you, and all of you out there! 

Love,

S.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

The date's set for my procedure. Tomorrow. It was supposed to be at 12:30, but now it's at 11:30. I have to be there at least two hours beforehand. I'm very anxious. Even if I don't have any issues, it's very painful (I'm awake, and *must* be with it the entire time) and extremely anxiety inducing. As I told my chicklet, I feel like a hunted rabbit right now. lol

It's a pretty sad state of affairs when hospital staff already know your name, and say "see you next time" as they wave bye to you. 

I'm so sick of this shit.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

CarlaSixx said:


> IC I had two breakdowns today. One was onset by the fact that my puppy's face was insanely swollen after getting a needle and I was extremely scared for her. But I got her some meds and she's pretty much back to normal.
> 
> The second breakdown was just by feeling overwhelmed from cleaning up after everyone and their spills.
> 
> I've been having too many breakdowns and I know I need to go back to the hospital for treatment but they closed my file and now I'm screwed out of what I need  And it worries me that something is going to go wrong.



I hope things get better for you, sweetie. I know it's a tough time, but try to start the procedure for getting treatment again. Knowing that you have the ball rolling with that might help with your anxiety some.

(((HUGS)))


----------



## LovelyLiz

MizzSnakeBite said:


> The date's set for my procedure. Tomorrow. It was supposed to be at 12:30, but now it's at 11:30. I have to be there at least two hours beforehand. I'm very anxious. Even if I don't have any issues, it's very painful (I'm awake, and *must* be with it the entire time) and extremely anxiety inducing. As I told my chicklet, I feel like a hunted rabbit right now. lol
> 
> It's a pretty sad state of affairs when hospital staff already know your name, and say "see you next time" as they wave bye to you.
> 
> I'm so sick of this shit.



Wow, tomorrow. Okay...I'll definitely say a prayer for you and send some healing thoughts and vibes your way tomorrow morning. Hope somehow the pain is less than it usually is, and that everything goes smoothly. Do you have somebody to go with you? To give you support and help you know you're not alone through it? Best wishes and HUGS to you!


----------



## CarlaSixx

Miss, I'm hoping the best for you. Hopefully the procedure goes smoothly.


----------



## CastingPearls

MizzSnakeBite said:


> The date's set for my procedure. Tomorrow. It was supposed to be at 12:30, but now it's at 11:30. I have to be there at least two hours beforehand. I'm very anxious. Even if I don't have any issues, it's very painful (I'm awake, and *must* be with it the entire time) and extremely anxiety inducing. As I told my chicklet, I feel like a hunted rabbit right now. lol
> 
> It's a pretty sad state of affairs when hospital staff already know your name, and say "see you next time" as they wave bye to you.
> 
> I'm so sick of this shit.


I can relate. Really. My thoughts and prayers will be with you tomorrow. I hope it will be as painLESS as possible.


----------



## Tau

MizzSnakeBite said:


> The date's set for my procedure. Tomorrow. It was supposed to be at 12:30, but now it's at 11:30. I have to be there at least two hours beforehand. I'm very anxious. Even if I don't have any issues, it's very painful (I'm awake, and *must* be with it the entire time) and extremely anxiety inducing. As I told my chicklet, I feel like a hunted rabbit right now. lol
> 
> It's a pretty sad state of affairs when hospital staff already know your name, and say "see you next time" as they wave bye to you.
> 
> I'm so sick of this shit.



Praying hard for you chick


----------



## mossystate

Devi, dove...I will most certainly be thinking of you tomorrow. I am so sorry you have to go through all this pain. I wish I lived near you...I would bring you trays of beads and jewelry and bandit masks for all your birds, just because I think it would be fucking cute.

((Devi))


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I wish I had an iPad instead of an iPod Touch to rep people as a way of thanks for their messages on these forums each time someone replies to me. I don't mean to not reply but it's difficult most of the time. But thank you all for all the things you've said to me :wubu:


----------



## Punkin1024

Devi, sending prayers your way. It appears that many of us will be with you in spirit. I hope you feel our presence and that it lessens the pain.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mcbeth said:


> Wow, tomorrow. Okay...I'll definitely say a prayer for you and send some healing thoughts and vibes your way tomorrow morning. Hope somehow the pain is less than it usually is, and that everything goes smoothly. Do you have somebody to go with you? To give you support and help you know you're not alone through it? Best wishes and HUGS to you!





CarlaSixx said:


> Miss, I'm hoping the best for you. Hopefully the procedure goes smoothly.





CastingPearls said:


> I can relate. Really. My thoughts and prayers will be with you tomorrow. I hope it will be as painLESS as possible.





Tau said:


> Praying hard for you chick





mossystate said:


> Devi, dove...I will most certainly be thinking of you tomorrow. I am so sorry you have to go through all this pain. I wish I lived near you...I would bring you trays of beads and jewelry and bandit masks for all your birds, just because I think it would be fucking cute.
> 
> ((Devi))





Punkin1024 said:


> Devi, sending prayers your way. It appears that many of us will be with you in spirit. I hope you feel our presence and that it lessens the pain.



Thanks ladies .

mcbeth, my mom's going with me........ In many ways, she makes things worse since she, in general, raises my anxiety level (my blood pressure's always much higher when she's around). Plus, she's not careful (knocks into me, etc.) But, I must have someone there.

Mossy, lmao re the masks!  Sis would have to be an outlaw, Scrab superbird, and 'quat.....one that runs away lol. Scrab would steal the beads lol.


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> The date's set for my procedure. Tomorrow. It was supposed to be at 12:30, but now it's at 11:30. I have to be there at least two hours beforehand. I'm very anxious. Even if I don't have any issues, it's very painful (I'm awake, and *must* be with it the entire time) and extremely anxiety inducing. As I told my chicklet, I feel like a hunted rabbit right now. lol
> 
> It's a pretty sad state of affairs when hospital staff already know your name, and say "see you next time" as they wave bye to you.
> 
> I'm so sick of this shit.



Hey my darling Momma Bird, sending you love and as many positive vibes as I can muster for you. I wish I could be there with you, but you already know that. (((((((MB))))))))


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> Hey my darling Momma Bird, sending you love and as many positive vibes as I can muster for you. I wish I could be there with you, but you already know that. (((((((MB))))))))



Thanks, my CHICKLET!! :blush: :happy:

I had to get that out since I didn't do it in the PM. Ya don't want me to bust, do you!


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Thanks, my CHICKLET!! :blush: :happy:
> 
> I had to get that out since I didn't do it in the PM. Ya don't want me to bust, do you!



Don't you go busting on me! At least not before I find a way to visit you in Texas one day, so we can get up to no good together :happy:


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> Don't you go busting on me! At least not before I find a way to visit you in Texas one day, so we can get up to no good together :happy:



haha 

___


----------



## Lamia

IC that sometimes I dream of doing something completely reckless. For instance, I bought an Xbox360. I felt guilty before even leaving the store. I took it back after 3 days of staring at it unopened sitting next to my TV. 

I had the 200 in cash and was on my way to work and had a sudden thought. "What if I took this money and just went to the casino and skipped work". I felt better for having the fantasy, but it's not something I would have ever done. 

Something free and wild about the act of irresponsibly...maybe not as wild as eating a croissant on public transport, but it's up there. 

ALWAYS doing the right thing is so boring.


----------



## spiritangel

hugs I get those thoughts to Lamia although not bought an xbox cause I want a ps2 and a wii lol


IC I miss having someone to snuggle with, laugh with share with and on occassion cook for and spoil


----------



## Ruffie

Mizz sending positive thoughts your way. I did not know till i read this thread that all this was going on with you. I hope that you got through ok and it will bring you some releif!


----------



## Lovelyone

I confess that I am seriously fed up with stupid people. It is to the point that I want to tell them to go make a group so that they can make--themselves--rather than OTHER people miserable.


----------



## MisticalMisty

Oh gosh Devi..I hope things went well today!


IC I can't wait to get a house.

IC I can't wait to get a house and build a pool.

IC I can't wait to get a house, build a pool and invite all y'all over!


----------



## luscious_lulu

MizzSnakeBite said:


> The date's set for my procedure. Tomorrow. It was supposed to be at 12:30, but now it's at 11:30. I have to be there at least two hours beforehand. I'm very anxious. Even if I don't have any issues, it's very painful (I'm awake, and *must* be with it the entire time) and extremely anxiety inducing. As I told my chicklet, I feel like a hunted rabbit right now. lol
> 
> It's a pretty sad state of affairs when hospital staff already know your name, and say "see you next time" as they wave bye to you.
> 
> I'm so sick of this shit.



(((hugs))) I hope things went well.


----------



## calauria

IC that I'm disgusting with the whole dating scene...LOL!!


----------



## LovelyLiz

calauria said:


> IC that I'm disgusting with the whole dating scene...LOL!!



I hear ya. Join in on the summertime man-fast. It's all the rage.


----------



## Punkin1024

IC I'm so happy. Got some new clothes in today. I'll need to hem the pants tomorrow and then I'll be able to take pictures - maybe.


----------



## Lamia

IC that I wish I had more of a sex drive. ...meh


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC that finding out I'm anemic does answer some questions, but is rather awful to find out at my size. But at least I may no longer feel tired all the time when I start doing something about it.


----------



## littlefairywren

CarlaSixx said:


> IC that finding out I'm anemic does answer some questions, but is rather awful to find out at my size. But at least I may no longer feel tired all the time when I start doing something about it.



I can sympathise with you, I have been anaemic for a long time now. Just remember to take care of yourself, and keep up your iron of course. Hugs to you, CarlaSixx


----------



## Weeze

So, a friend's boyfriend's friend is interested in me. He saw my facebook and said I was cute, so my friend made me add him, and her boyfriend made HIM message me. We've been messaging back and forth for two weeks now, and we keep trying to meet... But I'm so freaking nervous. I've never been this nervous about meeting someone before, and I don't know why. It seriously makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it. I've met people from online tons of times, so I don't get why i'm freaking out over this guy  I really do wanna meet him, but I don't wanna be so nervous about it!


----------



## Lamia

Weeze said:


> So, a friend's boyfriend's friend is interested in me. He saw my facebook and said I was cute, so my friend made me add him, and her boyfriend made HIM message me. We've been messaging back and forth for two weeks now, and we keep trying to meet... But I'm so freaking nervous. I've never been this nervous about meeting someone before, and I don't know why. It seriously makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it. I've met people from online tons of times, so I don't get why i'm freaking out over this guy  I really do wanna meet him, but I don't wanna be so nervous about it!



Are you worried about rejection or that he will be a dud?


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I really feel like the loser of my group of friends. They've all got big things going on... All of them are planning to move out of the city into a bigger one, mainly Ottawa... and lots of them are planning weddings right now. I am stuck here, feel like once everyone is gone, they won't care about me anymore (and already have that feeling, unfortunately), and that I'll never get to live the stuff they're living now. And I'm finding it grossly unfair.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Weeze said:


> So, a friend's boyfriend's friend is interested in me. He saw my facebook and said I was cute, so my friend made me add him, and her boyfriend made HIM message me. We've been messaging back and forth for two weeks now, and we keep trying to meet... But I'm so freaking nervous. I've never been this nervous about meeting someone before, and I don't know why. It seriously makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it. I've met people from online tons of times, so I don't get why i'm freaking out over this guy  I really do wanna meet him, but I don't wanna be so nervous about it!



I totally hear ya, chica. Putting yourself out there is no easy thing...and the more it seems like the guy might be a good one, the more is at stake and hence the nerves. But props to you for doing it. Can you and he maybe go on a double date with your friend and her boyfriend? Would that be easier - so you had your friend for support?

Either way, sending you some vibes of strength.  It's the first 30 seconds of the meeting that are always the most harrowing. You can get through it!


----------



## KittyKitten

PMS is a bitch, man. I hate it. I feel like breaking someone's head open or just lying in bed. I hate those times of the month. It's worse at night.


----------



## Weeze

Lamia said:


> Are you worried about rejection or that he will be a dud?



Both, I think. I've been out with a few duds, and i've been rejected a ton of times, so i mean... it's a little of both. I'm also sorta afraid that he'll be more... "mature" than me... i know you're supposed to do everything on your comfort level, but i've never done much of anything with a guy before except some cutesy kissing and a bad bad blow job fiasco. Not that i'd do anything with him on a first date, but still, all that's in the back of my head.


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC that I'm once again feeling rather annoyed to see those I went to school with getting paired off and married, etc. And moving away to start a new life with their partner, too. It annoys me because I always thought I was a better catch for people because I have more maturity (my friends will openly say the same thing), but yet... I'm the only one stuck in this junkhole of a city and every guy on the street is far from ever being an FA, closeted or not. And throw in the fact that I can never lose weight, only gain when I start working out, it is VERY frustrating to be stuck in this rut. 

It makes me question a lot of things. Like if it's even worth the effort to fake it til you make it. I'm sick of faking it without getting anywhere. And I thought I felt a difference, but I was only fooling myself. I want change, and I'm begging for answers, but everything is coming up as a dead end.


----------



## Tau

Weeze said:


> So, a friend's boyfriend's friend is interested in me. He saw my facebook and said I was cute, so my friend made me add him, and her boyfriend made HIM message me. We've been messaging back and forth for two weeks now, and we keep trying to meet... But I'm so freaking nervous. I've never been this nervous about meeting someone before, and I don't know why. It seriously makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it. I've met people from online tons of times, so I don't get why i'm freaking out over this guy  I really do wanna meet him, but I don't wanna be so nervous about it!



Totally feel you chick. It terrifying meeting somebody who you think might be actually awesome. Just try to enjoy it - limit your expectations as much as possible and go in there with an open mind and heart. You cannot be anybody else but yourself so just let the who that you are shine through  And please report back!!!


----------



## Tau

CarlaSixx said:


> IC that I'm once again feeling rather annoyed to see those I went to school with getting paired off and married, etc. And moving away to start a new life with their partner, too. It annoys me because I always thought I was a better catch for people because I have more maturity (my friends will openly say the same thing), but yet... I'm the only one stuck in this junkhole of a city and every guy on the street is far from ever being an FA, closeted or not. And throw in the fact that I can never lose weight, only gain when I start working out, it is VERY frustrating to be stuck in this rut.
> 
> It makes me question a lot of things. Like if it's even worth the effort to fake it til you make it. I'm sick of faking it without getting anywhere. And I thought I felt a difference, but I was only fooling myself. I want change, and I'm begging for answers, but everything is coming up as a dead end.



My grandmother told me a month before she died (LOL, this sounds like the beginning of some epic tale but it isn't!), that other people's happiness and good fortune do not diminish you. It is their time for joy, their time for blessings and love and laughter. Enjoy it with them Carla. Really feel happiness for their good fortune because joy, even when it isnt your own, does not take anything away from you. And when it is your time, because your time will come, the joy you get then will be to the power of like 6 billion


----------



## Tau

happyface83 said:


> PMS is a bitch, man. I hate it. I feel like breaking someone's head open or just lying in bed. I hate those times of the month. It's worse at night.



Totally. Lately its changed me into a whole horrid other being. Really don't enjoy it either.


----------



## spiritangel

I confess I am bummed I diddnt make the design team I applied for, and feeling like I am destined to be single for a long long time, am over lacking direction and other such meh woe is me thoughts that I have been working hard on getting rid of lately but that seem to want to stick around


----------



## Weeze

hmmm, yeah. It's gonna not work out. Anything I have for you sorta goes out the window when you drunk dial me at 3 am and tell my best friend to stop "cock blocking"...


----------



## Vespertine

Tau said:


> My grandmother told me a month before she died (LOL, this sounds like the beginning of some epic tale but it isn't!), that other people's happiness and good fortune do not diminish you. It is their time for joy, their time for blessings and love and laughter. Enjoy it with them Carla. Really feel happiness for their good fortune because joy, even when it isnt your own, does not take anything away from you. And when it is your time, because your time will come, the joy you get then will be to the power of like 6 billion



Alas can't rep you again Tau! To CarlaSixx, I +1 this post and will also say that as someone who never went the standard route in life, sometimes its hard to watch others checking off the Big Stuff on the life bucket list. But your life is still yours to live. There's always a way to feel you don't measure up, or that they have it better, comparison just brings pain. If a relationship isn't in the cards right now, I hope you don't get down on you because of it, though I know how hard that is. Dream big, dream about the day you move if that's what you want, and about what you want to move to. Even if the big change is a ways off, preparing for it now will likely pay off later.



Weeze said:


> hmmm, yeah. It's gonna not work out. Anything I have for you sorta goes out the window when you drunk dial me at 3 am and tell my best friend to stop "cock blocking"...



Oh ffs. Sorry to hear that.

***

IC I did something scary last week, that I'd meant to but put off for years. Yay for moving outside the comfort zone but aargh..its a weird nakedy feeling. Now I wait for the results/godot.


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC that I'm finally ready to give up on the guy I've been emailing with on POF for like a month now, and who always has convenient excuses for why he only emails me during work hours during the week, and still hasn't been able to call me on the phone. And he doesn't have any public pics posted. Yeah, 99% sure he's married. 

Classy.


----------



## kristineirl

mcbeth said:


> IC that I'm finally ready to give up on the guy I've been emailing with on POF for like a month now, and who always has convenient excuses for why he only emails me during work hours during the week, and still hasn't been able to call me on the phone. And he doesn't have any public pics posted. Yeah, 99% sure he's married.
> 
> Classy.



you deserve more than that. i'm happy that you saw through him!


----------



## luscious_lulu

Tau said:


> My grandmother told me a month before she died (LOL, this sounds like the beginning of some epic tale but it isn't!), that other people's happiness and good fortune do not diminish you. It is their time for joy, their time for blessings and love and laughter. Enjoy it with them Carla. Really feel happiness for their good fortune because joy, even when it isnt your own, does not take anything away from you. And when it is your time, because your time will come, the joy you get then will be to the power of like 6 billion




She was a very wise woman.


----------



## CarlaSixx

I guess I just feel that way because I was so close to having that kind of happiness for myself and then it all suddenly vanished before my eyes. It's hard to live with knowing you once almost had everything you wanted and now have to live with having nothing at all.


----------



## jdsumm

mcbeth said:


> IC that I'm finally ready to give up on the guy I've been emailing with on POF for like a month now, and who always has convenient excuses for why he only emails me during work hours during the week, and still hasn't been able to call me on the phone. And he doesn't have any public pics posted. Yeah, 99% sure he's married.
> 
> Classy.



Oh, that really stinks! I am very glad you caught on but very sorry that this happened to you. Dang, this online dating business is frustrating so much of the time!


----------



## Tau

mcbeth said:


> IC that I'm finally ready to give up on the guy I've been emailing with on POF for like a month now, and who always has convenient excuses for why he only emails me during work hours during the week, and still hasn't been able to call me on the phone. And he doesn't have any public pics posted. Yeah, 99% sure he's married.
> 
> Classy.



Ugh. So sorry babes - I hate when this happens - but at least you saw through his bull *squishes you*


----------



## Tau

Do any of you have any word on how Mizz's procedure went? Just wanting to hear how she's doing, if she's well and also to pass on some love.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Ruffie said:


> Mizz sending positive thoughts your way. I did not know till i read this thread that all this was going on with you. I hope that you got through ok and it will bring you some releif!





MisticalMisty said:


> Oh gosh Devi..I hope things went well today!






luscious_lulu said:


> (((hugs))) I hope things went well.






Tau said:


> Do any of you have any word on how Mizz's procedure went? Just wanting to hear how she's doing, if she's well and also to pass on some love.



Thanks ladies .

It went....ok, I guess. I'm really tired. My doctor was late, big time (and I was her only patient scheduled for the day, and the OR was light and on time). Because of her, she backed up the OR, staff, and the anesthesiologist. Someone was literally cursing her name in the hall. haha I love that.  Because last time was so horrible, I was beyond anxious, and they had to give me so much meds that it would've knocked out a football player. I'm extremely sore, bruised, weak, keep losing my voice, and I feel like someone kicked me over and over in the neck and throat. I made the mistake of requesting to look at the x-rays of my neck.  Ugh, no wonder why it hurts so much.....I had tubing snaking through my neck, then going to my vertebrae.  Oh, and it's no fun having to have an I.V. when you have a sunburn that's causing blisters.  I kept being stopped in the halls because it's so bad.

Being upright is really painful.


----------



## mossystate

There she is. Tubing in neck going to........................ Like always, I am hoping something gives...something...anything. Devi, you deserve some goddamn break. Thanks for taking the time to post here, sweets.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Thanks ladies .
> 
> It went....ok, I guess. I'm really tired. My doctor was late, big time (and I was her only patient scheduled for the day, and the OR was light and on time). Because of her, she backed up the OR, staff, and the anesthesiologist. Someone was literally cursing her name in the hall. haha I love that.  Because last time was so horrible, I was beyond anxious, and they had to give me so much meds that it would've knocked out a football player. I'm extremely sore, bruised, weak, keep losing my voice, and I feel like someone kicked me over and over in the neck and throat. I made the mistake of requesting to look at the x-rays of my neck.  Ugh, no wonder why it hurts so much.....I had tubing snaking through my neck, then going to my vertebrae.  Oh, and it's no fun having to have an I.V. when you have a sunburn that's causing blisters.  I kept being stopped in the halls because it's so bad.
> 
> Being upright is really painful.



Oh honey, just try to remind yourself that this part of the pain is temporary. I'm just so damned glad you have it within you to get back to us about it now. I'm offering oodles and oodles of Hello Kitty cyber {{{{{ hugs }}}} just for you because they feel good to the heart with out hurting the body.


----------



## Punkin1024

Oh Devi, so sorry you have to go through all this pain. Soft hugs!


----------



## spiritangel

Hugs Devi, remember you are loved, and we are good distractions, I cannot even begin to fathom the level of pain you are in sending lots of healing energy your way


----------



## LovelyLiz

Devi!!!! Sending you some healing vibes...sorry you're going through so much pain and discomfort right now. Big hugs to you.




jdsumm said:


> Oh, that really stinks! I am very glad you caught on but very sorry that this happened to you. Dang, this online dating business is frustrating so much of the time!





Tau said:


> Ugh. So sorry babes - I hate when this happens - but at least you saw through his bull *squishes you*





kristineirl said:


> you deserve more than that. i'm happy that you saw through him!



Thanks ladies. I think after reading some of the threads here, and the experiences some of the women here have had, I've been more aware that some married guys pull these kinds of things. That's made me more cautious, and to notice the warning signs. So for that, I'm grateful to all you ladies! :bow:


----------



## Tau

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Thanks ladies .
> 
> It went....ok, I guess. I'm really tired. My doctor was late, big time (and I was her only patient scheduled for the day, and the OR was light and on time). Because of her, she backed up the OR, staff, and the anesthesiologist. Someone was literally cursing her name in the hall. haha I love that.  Because last time was so horrible, I was beyond anxious, and they had to give me so much meds that it would've knocked out a football player. I'm extremely sore, bruised, weak, keep losing my voice, and I feel like someone kicked me over and over in the neck and throat. I made the mistake of requesting to look at the x-rays of my neck.  Ugh, no wonder why it hurts so much.....I had tubing snaking through my neck, then going to my vertebrae.  Oh, and it's no fun having to have an I.V. when you have a sunburn that's causing blisters.  I kept being stopped in the halls because it's so bad.
> 
> Being upright is really painful.



So sorry to hear about the pain  *smishes* Thank you so much for letting us know how you're doing. Thinking of you often and sending love and comfort and prayer


----------



## spiritangel

IC I am actually shaking atm, long story but sold an email reading on ebay (nothing new there) and when the woman sent through her questions she told me I look spookily like her older sister, this isnt something that happends to me much the you look like someone I know thing, especially as I was put up for adoption at age 3, and have only known my sister for just over 11 years now. Anyway told her a little of the we know we have more sisters we just have never met them or our mother, and told my sister about it. Anyway googled our birthmothers name with this womans sirname and there is ONe woman with the same name as our birth mother and this surname, it probably will turn out not to be anything but just the possibility and the not knowing is like wow ect and a little overwhelming I should also add I have always had a feeling that when and if we found our mother it would happen randomly and not when we were searching for her. ok so yes am shaking and feel like crying (crazy emotions all over the place atm)


----------



## Punkin1024

Wow - SpiritAngel - I hope this turns out well for you and will bring all that you wish it to bring.


----------



## nettie

Adding my soft, gentle hugs to the others and sending healing vibes, as well.



MizzSnakeBite said:


> Thanks ladies .
> 
> It went....ok, I guess. I'm really tired. My doctor was late, big time (and I was her only patient scheduled for the day, and the OR was light and on time). Because of her, she backed up the OR, staff, and the anesthesiologist. Someone was literally cursing her name in the hall. haha I love that.  Because last time was so horrible, I was beyond anxious, and they had to give me so much meds that it would've knocked out a football player. I'm extremely sore, bruised, weak, keep losing my voice, and I feel like someone kicked me over and over in the neck and throat. I made the mistake of requesting to look at the x-rays of my neck.  Ugh, no wonder why it hurts so much.....I had tubing snaking through my neck, then going to my vertebrae.  Oh, and it's no fun having to have an I.V. when you have a sunburn that's causing blisters.  I kept being stopped in the halls because it's so bad.
> 
> Being upright is really painful.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

spiritangel said:


> IC I am actually shaking atm, long story but sold an email reading on ebay (nothing new there) and when the woman sent through her questions she told me I look spookily like her older sister, this isnt something that happends to me much the you look like someone I know thing, especially as I was put up for adoption at age 3, and have only known my sister for just over 11 years now. Anyway told her a little of the we know we have more sisters we just have never met them or our mother, and told my sister about it. Anyway googled our birthmothers name with this womans sirname and there is ONe woman with the same name as our birth mother and this surname, it probably will turn out not to be anything but just the possibility and the not knowing is like wow ect and a little overwhelming I should also add I have always had a feeling that when and if we found our mother it would happen randomly and not when we were searching for her. ok so yes am shaking and feel like crying (crazy emotions all over the place atm)



Please keep us posted on what you find out?


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mossystate said:


> There she is. Tubing in neck going to........................ Like always, I am hoping something gives...something...anything. Devi, you deserve some goddamn break. Thanks for taking the time to post here, sweets.



Thanks, Ms. Mo :wubu:



OneWickedAngel said:


> Oh honey, just try to remind yourself that this part of the pain is temporary. I'm just so damned glad you have it within you to get back to us about it now. I'm offering oodles and oodles of Hello Kitty cyber {{{{{ hugs }}}} just for you because they feel good to the heart with out hurting the body.



Thanks bunches . Now.....I'm not too sure I want Hello Kitty hugs since your kitty's a bad ass. 



Punkin1024 said:


> Oh Devi, so sorry you have to go through all this pain. Soft hugs!



Thanks, sweetie! 



spiritangel said:


> Hugs Devi, remember you are loved, and we are good distractions, I cannot even begin to fathom the level of pain you are in sending lots of healing energy your way



Thanks so much, SA .



mcbeth said:


> Devi!!!! Sending you some healing vibes...sorry you're going through so much pain and discomfort right now. Big hugs to you.



Thanks .

I'm so sorry to hear about that guy. That really sucks, but I'm soooo glad you realized what type of person he is before you got even deeper in. Hugs to you!



Tau said:


> So sorry to hear about the pain  *smishes* Thank you so much for letting us know how you're doing. Thinking of you often and sending love and comfort and prayer



Thanks, babe :wubu:



spiritangel said:


> IC I am actually shaking atm, long story but sold an email reading on ebay (nothing new there) and when the woman sent through her questions she told me I look spookily like her older sister, this isnt something that happends to me much the you look like someone I know thing, especially as I was put up for adoption at age 3, and have only known my sister for just over 11 years now. Anyway told her a little of the we know we have more sisters we just have never met them or our mother, and told my sister about it. Anyway googled our birthmothers name with this womans sirname and there is ONe woman with the same name as our birth mother and this surname, it probably will turn out not to be anything but just the possibility and the not knowing is like wow ect and a little overwhelming I should also add I have always had a feeling that when and if we found our mother it would happen randomly and not when we were searching for her. ok so yes am shaking and feel like crying (crazy emotions all over the place atm)



omg.......honey....I can't even imagine how overwhelming it is for you... Big hugs!



nettie said:


> Adding my soft, gentle hugs to the others and sending healing vibes, as well.



Thanks so much!

Ya'll have been great, and so supportive. :wubu:


Now, I have a confession..... I'm having a major omg moment.... Someone contacted me via email, that I never thought I would hear from again......I'm in shock, disbelief, stunned, and am not sure at all how I'm going to deal with it...... Wow...


----------



## spiritangel

sadly it was just one of those strange co incidences oh well one day 

IC I am a little dissappointed but not suprised hugs


----------



## luscious_lulu

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Thanks ladies .
> 
> It went....ok, I guess. I'm really tired. My doctor was late, big time (and I was her only patient scheduled for the day, and the OR was light and on time). Because of her, she backed up the OR, staff, and the anesthesiologist. Someone was literally cursing her name in the hall. haha I love that.  Because last time was so horrible, I was beyond anxious, and they had to give me so much meds that it would've knocked out a football player. I'm extremely sore, bruised, weak, keep losing my voice, and I feel like someone kicked me over and over in the neck and throat. I made the mistake of requesting to look at the x-rays of my neck.  Ugh, no wonder why it hurts so much.....I had tubing snaking through my neck, then going to my vertebrae.  Oh, and it's no fun having to have an I.V. when you have a sunburn that's causing blisters.  I kept being stopped in the halls because it's so bad.
> 
> Being upright is really painful.




(((hugs))) thank you for the update!


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Now, I have a confession..... I'm having a major omg moment.... Someone contacted me via email, that I never thought I would hear from again......I'm in shock, disbelief, stunned, and am not sure at all how I'm going to deal with it...... Wow...



Is this the one I am going to be munching on?


----------



## Punkin1024

I've just been wandering around inside today. Nothing in particular planned, just being lazy. The only accomplishment for the day - colored my hair! I really need to hem my 2 new pairs of pants, sigh, I'm such a procrastinator!


----------



## Jes

Weeze said:


> a bad bad blow job fiasco. Not that i'd do anything with him on a first date, but still, all that's in the back of my head.



haha. I'm laughing with you, not at you. Wait, you're not laughing, you say?  
I am the queen of the bad handjob. QUEEN. As a number of male Dimmers can attest. 
I get that you're nervous but I hope that doesn't keep you from meeting this guy. The 2 things are not mutually exclusive; you can be nervous AND meet. And the only way to turn a bad BJ into a good one is to have someone to practice with!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> Is this the one I am going to be munching on?



Yes

------


----------



## mszwebs

I confess it drives me crazy to see plus sized women today in ugly wedding dresses. 

I also confess that I am very aware that clearly what I think is ugly is not an idea that is embraced by a number of women, based on the some of the pictures I've seen.

But related...I confess I wonder if they chose their dresses because they really liked them or because they felt that was their only choice. 

I really hope they loved them.


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC that I hate the feelings associated with getting a burgeoning crush on someone. First comes girlish giddiness, but that's replaced almost immediately by terror and anticipated disappointment. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting better at just going with the flow...but, sometimes not.


----------



## CarlaSixx

I hear you on that Mcbeth. 

Because... IC I am terrified of crushing on someone in fear of a rude attitude given to me about it. And sometimes I just think someone I'm crushing on is upset with me and/or disgusted by the fact that I like them. I tend to think "oh great, they know and think I'm creepy." which is a bad mindset to carry but I fear not being liked in return so I try to talk myself out of ever crushing on anyone. And that's bad.


----------



## LovelyLiz

mcbeth said:


> IC that I hate the feelings associated with getting a burgeoning crush on someone. First comes girlish giddiness, but that's replaced almost immediately by terror and anticipated disappointment. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting better at just going with the flow...but, sometimes not.



IC that hilariously, after feeling down on myself all day as evidenced in this above post, a guy who showed up to a game night at my friend's house last night was totally throwing himself at me. This doesn't happen all that often in my everyday life, but it was just such good timing - just to remind me that I'm not a hideous monster.  God has such a sense of humor. (Btw, I'm not really interested in the guy, but still, it's always flattering to have someone express interest! What a gift.)


----------



## CarlaSixx

I confess that I would like to, for once, walk into a bar in my city and have someone want to be around me besides just my friends, who desert me for the people who come up to talk to them. My friends are now pissed at me because I don't want to hit the town with them but I'm sick of being the purse watcher while they sleeze it up on the dancefloor or something. It wouldn't be so bad being bag checker if someone would at least come up to me to chat while my friends leave me all alone. 

I'd really like to hang out with my friends, but since they always want to go to a bar to hang out, I don't see them mch anymore.


----------



## CastingPearls

On my way somewhere with a bunch of friends, I offered a ride to the only one I didn't know because I didn't really know my way to the destination and the other car was full and she was the first one to jump out of the lead car.

So we started talking about general things, and then she started questioning me closely about my weight, my size, my weight-loss from a few years back. If my husband was fat, my family, where did I buy my clothes, ad nauseum.
I gathered from info she offered about herself that she had always been very thin her entire life and didn't have any friends who were fat. It took a while but because my mind wasn't entirely on the conversation but following the car ahead of me, that she was in fact, repulsed by fat people.

She wasn't hostile, just really judgmental and bigoted. She applauded how "I" lost weight and how people who have WLS are 'taking the easy way out' which really REALLY burned my ass because I have a lot of friends who've had it, I considered it, and know there's NOTHING easy about it. 
I'm of the opinion that everyone should have one--mine, but know that's not reality-based and debated whether to take it upon myself to give her a quick education but in all honestly I just didn't think she was worth the effort and it was quickly becoming a buzz kill.

For most of the evening, we sat at opposite ends of the group until she threw a tantrum over how loud the music was (the DJ was kick-ass) and demanded another friend call her husband to take her home. Her friend didn't want to go and she looked at me and I just looked at her and shook my head and looked away. She walked outside and sat on a rock for two hours before she found a ride home. 

My other friends invited me to come back out with them, but agreed amongst themselves unanimously to not include her anymore. I never told them about our conversation but was relieved it would be unlikely we'd cross paths often because after a few drinks I wanted to feed her a bar stool.


----------



## Lovelyone

I confess that it drives me crazy when I walk into a grocery store and there are men standing there at the front doors, just lounging around and people watching. It drives me nuts to have to walk past them. I want to say "What are you looking at?" or "Didn't your mother ever teach you that it's not polite to stare?" 
A guy friend of mine said "don't get frustrated with them. They might just be admiring you". That just makes me mad, cos I can't tell the difference.


----------



## Weeze

Jes said:


> haha. I'm laughing with you, not at you. Wait, you're not laughing, you say?
> I am the queen of the bad handjob. QUEEN. As a number of male Dimmers can attest.
> I get that you're nervous but I hope that doesn't keep you from meeting this guy. The 2 things are not mutually exclusive; you can be nervous AND meet. And the only way to turn a bad BJ into a good one is to have someone to practice with!



Heh, I did meet him, and I politely declined when he asked me to come upstairs at the end of the evening. Thankfully, i was the driver and didn't even get out of my car. The whole thing was extremely uncomfortable, especially when I found out certain things about his past. 

Ladies, is it weird that I thought it was a little... awkward... of him to drink beer in front of me our first time out? I'm only 19.. TWO YEARS away from the drinking age. I went to the bathroom, came back and he had a beer. Granted, most drinking makes me uncomfortable, but still i felt weird, and i'm not sure if it's justified or i'm just being dumb. However, like I said I also found out some not-so-great things about his past that really just make me want to stay away 
I really just want to go on a *good* date, with someone that seems interested in what i'm saying, can keep up with conversation, and doesn't tell me that i'm weird for being "so tall for a girl" (I'm only 5'8. Seriously, i'm not goliath, yet every guy i go out with is significantly shorter and gawks a little  )

On another note... I just gave me mom a.. large sum of money and even though she says she'll pay it back, i know i'm never going to see it again and it's making me sick to my stomach... which makes me feel horrible because it's my *mom*... I'm mad at myself for being upset about giving something to her, but I can't help it. Ugh.


----------



## Tau

"...sat on a rock..."  What a loser!! The other day during one of the games this woman had a fit cos the people around her were swearing at the screen and the music and vuvuzelas were too loud. She insisted on leaving and dragged the people she was with her. I pointed and laughed - wish I coulda been there to do this to your rock-sitting-cretin CP ahahaha!

At Krissy - chick the things you want are not unreasonable. Hold out for that guy or that date who'll make you at ease, who understands your conversation, who isn't a dick about your height. Always, always pay attention to your instincts.

About the money for your mom...my philosophy whenever I give money to my family is that its a gift and I do not expect it to be paid back. Thinking this way will mean you don't resent your family over money, and you will not give them sums of cash so large you can't survive/get by without them or they have really damaging impact. Also when/if they happen to pay you back it will be an awesome surprise


----------



## CastingPearls

Tau said:


> "...sat on a rock..."  What a loser!! The other day during one of the games this woman had a fit cos the people around her were swearing at the screen and the music and vuvuzelas were too loud. She insisted on leaving and dragged the people she was with her. I pointed and laughed - wish I coulda been there to do this to your rock-sitting-cretin CP ahahaha!
> 
> At Krissy - chick the things you want are not unreasonable. Hold out for that guy or that date who'll make you at ease, who understands your conversation, who isn't a dick about your height. Always, always pay attention to your instincts.
> 
> About the money for your mom...my philosophy whenever I give money to my family is that its a gift and I do not expect it to be paid back. Thinking this way will mean you don't resent your family over money, and you will not give them sums of cash so large you can't survive/get by without them or they have really damaging impact. Also when/if they happen to pay you back it will be an awesome surprise


Oh Tau, I forgot THAT...all the other girls and the bouncer were all standing in the doorway pointing and laughing their asses off at her.....you just reminded me! ROFL!!


----------



## Tau

I don't wanna go to pole tonight. I just want to go home and eat chocolate *whimpers*


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Tau said:


> I don't wanna go to pole tonight. I just want to go home and eat chocolate *whimpers*



Tau sweetie, you just might want to qualify that statement a little more. 
"Pole"? I suspect you and I are thinking of two VERY different things!  :batting:


----------



## curveyme

I was thinking there was a BBW strip club in South Africa . . .??? :blush:


----------



## Punkin1024

Just popping in for a moment! I watched "Percy Jackson and the Olympians: Lightning Thief" this evening. I really liked this movie. Perhaps it is because I was born in the sign of water or, maybe, just maybe because I still think that Pierce Brosnan is hot!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Punkin1024 said:


> Just popping in for a moment! I watched "Percy Jackson and the Olympians: Lightning Thief" this evening. I really liked this movie. Perhaps it is because I was born in the sign of water or, maybe, just maybe because I still think that Pierce Brosnan is hot!




I loved this movie, too. Much better than I expected....Rosario Dawson was excellent in her part, as well.


----------



## KittyKitten

Dims has gotten kind of slow. I was reading back at the posts last year and the previous years and it seems the place was more active. Now it just looks as if the same people post in the same popular threads that run 11 pages long. There are no new topics. 99% of people who register only go to the paysite board anyway.

I also believe I'm not 'big' enough to be considered attractive by most of the guys on Dims.


----------



## Lovelyone

I think I am more content as a single woman than when I have a man in my life. That's the honest truth and I know it sounds so bad, but I can't help feeling that way. That's not to say that if someone special came along I wouldn't try...but the recent years of BS from men has really made me feel jaded and re-evaluate things.


----------



## Tau

OneWickedAngel said:


> Tau sweetie, you just might want to qualify that statement a little more.
> "Pole"? I suspect you and I are thinking of two VERY different things!  :batting:



Ahaha! Dirty girl! Don't I wish it were that kind of pole *wistful sigh*


----------



## Tau

curveyme said:


> I was thinking there was a BBW strip club in South Africa . . .??? :blush:



Don't I wish! I'd totally quite my job and become a stripper.


----------



## Tau

happyface83 said:


> Dims has gotten kind of slow. I was reading back at the posts last year and the previous years and it seems the place was more active. Now it just looks as if the same people post in the same popular threads that run 11 pages long. There are no new topics. 99% of people who register only go to the paysite board anyway.
> 
> I also believe I'm not 'big' enough to be considered attractive by most of the guys on Dims.



All very true. Hopefully there'll be some kind of renewal on the site soon. And on Dims girls like you and I are considered positively anorexic


----------



## Surlysomething

happyface83 said:


> Dims has gotten kind of slow. I was reading back at the posts last year and the previous years and it seems the place was more active. Now it just looks as if the same people post in the same popular threads that run 11 pages long. There are no new topics. 99% of people who register only go to the paysite board anyway.
> 
> I also believe I'm not 'big' enough to be considered attractive by most of the guys on Dims.




You need to branch out a bit more. There are so many threads.

And everyone on here feels marginalized to some extent. You just have to find your place and what you like and don't let it bother you. I'm virtually ignored by the BHM's and it's pretty much always been that way. Now I don't participate there as much and I feel a lot better about myself.


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC even though that this year has been very stressful/sad, I'm going to be ok.


----------



## Punkin1024

luscious_lulu said:


> IC even though that this year has been very stressful/sad, I'm going to be ok.




(((((((HUGS)))))))


----------



## luscious_lulu

Punkin1024 said:


> (((((((HUGS)))))))



Thanks sweetie


----------



## CastingPearls

Somehow I got a tan line in my cleavage. <sigh>


----------



## curveyme

luscious_lulu said:


> Thanks sweetie



Sorry to hear that Luscious. Hope things get better!


----------



## littlefairywren

luscious_lulu said:


> IC even though that this year has been very stressful/sad, I'm going to be ok.



Big cuddly (((hugs))) lulu.


----------



## Punkin1024

I dreamed I found a stash of chocolates at work. Hmmm, is my brain trying to tell me I'm chocolate deprived? Guess I'll have to take care of that real soon.


----------



## luscious_lulu

curveyme said:


> Sorry to hear that Luscious. Hope things get better!





littlefairywren said:


> Big cuddly (((hugs))) lulu.



Thank you both. 





Punkin1024 said:


> I dreamed I found a stash of chocolates at work. Hmmm, is my brain trying to tell me I'm chocolate deprived? Guess I'll have to take care of that real soon.



mmmmm.... chocolate


----------



## CarlaSixx

I know it's bad enough that I'm a BBW on a job hunt, but I wish more appearances were acceptable in businesses that do customer service.

Now, no matter where I decide to work and what temperature it is, I have to wear long sleeves. AND, I can't experiment with my hair like I normally do.

This had never been the case before. I was in a government-run office job and had blue hair and visible tattoos. But now... all that has to be hidden. This is going to SUCK.

At least I'm still allowed to go blonde since it's technically a natural hair colour, but it still sucks that I can't be as unique as I actually am.


----------



## calauria

CarlaSixx said:


> I know it's bad enough that I'm a BBW on a job hunt, but I wish more appearances were acceptable in businesses that do customer service.
> 
> Now, no matter where I decide to work and what temperature it is, I have to wear long sleeves. AND, I can't experiment with my hair like I normally do.
> 
> This had never been the case before. I was in a government-run office job and had blue hair and visible tattoos. But now... all that has to be hidden. This is going to SUCK.
> 
> At least I'm still allowed to go blonde since it's technically a natural hair colour, but it still sucks that I can't be as unique as I actually am.



I know that does suck!! I once had fushia hair. It was so cute!!


----------



## Punkin1024

CarlaSixx said:


> Now, no matter where I decide to work and what temperature it is, I have to wear long sleeves. AND, I can't experiment with my hair like I normally do.
> 
> This had never been the case before. I was in a government-run office job and had blue hair and visible tattoos. But now... all that has to be hidden. This is going to SUCK.
> 
> At least I'm still allowed to go blonde since it's technically a natural hair colour, but it still sucks that I can't be as unique as I actually am.



I've never been a fan of strict dress codes, but I've had to let others dictate what I wear at work in order to keep a decent paying job. I've come to accept that this is how it is in the working world. Sometimes, you just gotta be a part of the crowd, unless you are fortunate enough to own your own business or have a unique, marketable talent. Hang in there, I know it sucks, but you are young and eventually, you will find the perfect job.


----------



## Fluffy51888

IC that if I could, I would stay in bed for the rest of my life. Curled in a ball. With my cat.


----------



## littlefairywren

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that if I could, I would stay in bed for the rest of my life. Curled in a ball. With my cat.



It will get better, I promise you. The hurt will leave your heart


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I do not feel the least bit attractive today. All day I've been going "Who am I kidding?!" and it's not a fun feeling.


----------



## Tau

I really wanted to share some joy here. I confess that I am exhausted, flu stricken and slightly cranky but life is SO GOOD!!! I've landed my first really big photography project and its led to several new leads and I'm so excited I could burst. Also I'm struggling to summon the courage to do my masters next year - not having any joy getting my paws on a scholarship so am utterly terrified at the thought of being a semi-broke student again - but change has got to happen and even though I'm terrified I'm pretty damn excited about this too


----------



## nettie

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that if I could, I would stay in bed for the rest of my life. Curled in a ball. With my cat.





CarlaSixx said:


> IC I do not feel the least bit attractive today. All day I've been going "Who am I kidding?!" and it's not a fun feeling.



((( hugs ))) to both of you! You two are beautiful young women, with such amazing spirits. I hope your tomorrow is a little brighter.



Tau said:


> I really wanted to share some joy here. I confess that I am exhausted, flu stricken and slightly cranky but life is SO GOOD!!! I've landed my first really big photography project and its led to several new leads and I'm so excited I could burst. Also I'm struggling to summon the courage to do my masters next year - not having any joy getting my paws on a scholarship so am utterly terrified at the thought of being a semi-broke student again - but change has got to happen and even though I'm terrified I'm pretty damn excited about this too



Sorry you're under the weather but congratulations on the photography project! And I hope you decide to go for your masters!!!


----------



## CastingPearls

Tau said:


> I really wanted to share some joy here. I confess that I am exhausted, flu stricken and slightly cranky but life is SO GOOD!!! I've landed my first really big photography project and its led to several new leads and I'm so excited I could burst. Also I'm struggling to summon the courage to do my masters next year - not having any joy getting my paws on a scholarship so am utterly terrified at the thought of being a semi-broke student again - but change has got to happen and even though I'm terrified I'm pretty damn excited about this too


That's great news! Congrats!!!


----------



## chicken legs

CastingPearls said:


> That's great news! Congrats!!!



I give that a big HURUMPH..yaaayyy


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Tau said:


> I really wanted to share some joy here. I confess that I am exhausted, flu stricken and slightly cranky but life is SO GOOD!!! I've landed my first really big photography project and its led to several new leads and I'm so excited I could burst. Also I'm struggling to summon the courage to do my masters next year - not having any joy getting my paws on a scholarship so am utterly terrified at the thought of being a semi-broke student again - but change has got to happen and even though I'm terrified I'm pretty damn excited about this too



*Mega awesome! Own it Tau, you can do it girlie!*


----------



## LovelyLiz

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that if I could, I would stay in bed for the rest of my life. Curled in a ball. With my cat.



I'm so sorry you're going through this, Fluffy. Glad your cat is there to love on you. {{{HUGS}}}



Tau said:


> I really wanted to share some joy here. I confess that I am exhausted, flu stricken and slightly cranky but life is SO GOOD!!! I've landed my first really big photography project and its led to several new leads and I'm so excited I could burst. Also I'm struggling to summon the courage to do my masters next year - not having any joy getting my paws on a scholarship so am utterly terrified at the thought of being a semi-broke student again - but change has got to happen and even though I'm terrified I'm pretty damn excited about this too



GIRRRRRLLLLLL!!!! So awesome! Congrats! I've seen some of your shots, you've got this in the bag!  And as a current graduate student, living in a semi-broke status all the time, let me just say...it's not so bad.  If school is what you want, and if you really learn and grow in that kind of environment, it's soooo worth it.


----------



## Punkin1024

Tau said:


> I really wanted to share some joy here. I confess that I am exhausted, flu stricken and slightly cranky but life is SO GOOD!!! I've landed my first really big photography project and its led to several new leads and I'm so excited I could burst. Also I'm struggling to summon the courage to do my masters next year - not having any joy getting my paws on a scholarship so am utterly terrified at the thought of being a semi-broke student again - but change has got to happen and even though I'm terrified I'm pretty damn excited about this too



Good for you! I know you're going to do great and wonderful things will come your way. Thanks for sharing good news with us.


----------



## Tau

You all, all rock so hard! Thank you


----------



## littlefairywren

Tau said:


> I really wanted to share some joy here. I confess that I am exhausted, flu stricken and slightly cranky but life is SO GOOD!!! I've landed my first really big photography project and its led to several new leads and I'm so excited I could burst. Also I'm struggling to summon the courage to do my masters next year - not having any joy getting my paws on a scholarship so am utterly terrified at the thought of being a semi-broke student again - but change has got to happen and even though I'm terrified I'm pretty damn excited about this too



Tau, I just saw this. I am soooo happy for you, and I know that you could do anything you set your mind to! Go for it


----------



## luscious_lulu

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that if I could, I would stay in bed for the rest of my life. Curled in a ball. With my cat.



(((hugs))) I know that feeling all to well! Things Will get better.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Tau said:


> I really wanted to share some joy here. I confess that I am exhausted, flu stricken and slightly cranky but life is SO GOOD!!! I've landed my first really big photography project and its led to several new leads and I'm so excited I could burst. Also I'm struggling to summon the courage to do my masters next year - not having any joy getting my paws on a scholarship so am utterly terrified at the thought of being a semi-broke student again - but change has got to happen and even though I'm terrified I'm pretty damn excited about this too





Yay, fabulous news


----------



## calauria

Tau said:


> I really wanted to share some joy here. I confess that I am exhausted, flu stricken and slightly cranky but life is SO GOOD!!! I've landed my first really big photography project and its led to several new leads and I'm so excited I could burst. Also I'm struggling to summon the courage to do my masters next year - not having any joy getting my paws on a scholarship so am utterly terrified at the thought of being a semi-broke student again - but change has got to happen and even though I'm terrified I'm pretty damn excited about this too



CONGRATS!!


----------



## Punkin1024

One of hubby's friends was at our house when I got home this evening. He asked if I had lost weight. Of course, I said yes. Then hubby said, you just made her day! He then explained that I've been walking at least 1 mile most every day. Sometimes, I just don't feel like explaining that I'm walking for my health, not to lose weight. I get so tired trying to explain that everything I do food and exercise wise is for improved health and stamina. I know weight loss will be a small part of that, but that is not my goal. I've been fat for far too long to want to be thin. I'm comfortable with myself right now (oh, maybe I'll be even happier when I fit into a size 32). I just wish I could get family to understand that healthy is good and achievable - no matter what your size. Sigh!


----------



## Weeze

Punkin1024 said:


> I've never been a fan of strict dress codes, but I've had to let others dictate what I wear at work in order to keep a decent paying job. I've come to accept that this is how it is in the working world. Sometimes, you just gotta be a part of the crowd, unless you are fortunate enough to own your own business or have a unique, marketable talent. Hang in there, I know it sucks, but you are young and eventually, you will find the perfect job.



I know this advice wasn't directed at me, but I read it, and i've read some of your other posts... and can I just tell you you're a beautiful person. Seriously. Love it.


----------



## Lamia

I confess that learning a new job is stressing me and I keep making mistakes and feel like a huge loser right now.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> IC even though that this year has been very stressful/sad, I'm going to be ok.




(((HUGS))) I hope things are starting to brighten up, and remember, Vegas is coming!



Punkin1024 said:


> I dreamed I found a stash of chocolates at work. Hmmm, is my brain trying to tell me I'm chocolate deprived? Guess I'll have to take care of that real soon.



haha I've been craving chocolate a Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. lol So much so, that I looked online and compiled a bunch of recipes! 



CarlaSixx said:


> I know it's bad enough that I'm a BBW on a job hunt, but I wish more appearances were acceptable in businesses that do customer service.
> 
> Now, no matter where I decide to work and what temperature it is, I have to wear long sleeves. AND, I can't experiment with my hair like I normally do.
> 
> This had never been the case before. I was in a government-run office job and had blue hair and visible tattoos. But now... all that has to be hidden. This is going to SUCK.
> 
> At least I'm still allowed to go blonde since it's technically a natural hair colour, but it still sucks that I can't be as unique as I actually am.




(((HUGS))) I hope one day that you'll be able to find a job that fits your personality perfectly. 



Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that if I could, I would stay in bed for the rest of my life. Curled in a ball. With my cat.




(((HUGS))) We understand.



CarlaSixx said:


> IC I do not feel the least bit attractive today. All day I've been going "Who am I kidding?!" and it's not a fun feeling.



(((HUGS)))



Tau said:


> I really wanted to share some joy here. I confess that I am exhausted, flu stricken and slightly cranky but life is SO GOOD!!! I've landed my first really big photography project and its led to several new leads and I'm so excited I could burst. Also I'm struggling to summon the courage to do my masters next year - not having any joy getting my paws on a scholarship so am utterly terrified at the thought of being a semi-broke student again - but change has got to happen and even though I'm terrified I'm pretty damn excited about this too



This is FANTASTIC!!!!! I'm so excited for you!!

Let us know what you decide to do!



Lamia said:


> I confess that learning a new job is stressing me and I keep making mistakes and feel like a huge loser right now.



Aw, it'll get better! Having to learn the ropes is always stressful.

(((HUGS)))


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC that yesterday I felt my body jiggle for the first time in... I can't remember how long and the feeling totally creeped me out. I typically have solid fat and to feel like every small move created an ocean of waves was just weird and creepy. I don't know what changed but I didn't like it.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Alrighty. I'm starting to get very anxious now. Back in the hospital tomorrow for another procedure. Not only does the procedure cause anxiety, but checking my weight (of course, I know that's a necessity for anesthesia and all) and the dreaded i.v.  I have tiny, tiny veins, so tiny that they have to use the pediatric needles on me. Also, with my pain disorder, it makes it extraordinarily painful. Ugh.

I'm trying to calm myself down by doing stuff. It's not working.


----------



## olwen

Hang in there! It will be over before you know it.


----------



## Fallenangel2904

IC that I hate my life these days and haven't felt this depressed since I was 15 and I hate it. I just want to be okay again


----------



## CastingPearls

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Alrighty. I'm starting to get very anxious now. Back in the hospital tomorrow for another procedure. Not only does the procedure cause anxiety, but checking my weight (of course, I know that's a necessity for anesthesia and all) and the dreaded i.v.  I have tiny, tiny veins, so tiny that they have to use the pediatric needles on me. Also, with my pain disorder, it makes it extraordinarily painful. Ugh.
> 
> I'm trying to calm myself down by doing stuff. It's not working.


Empathy (pediatric needles too) support and love vibes headed in your direction.


----------



## cinnamitch

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Alrighty. I'm starting to get very anxious now. Back in the hospital tomorrow for another procedure. Not only does the procedure cause anxiety, but checking my weight (of course, I know that's a necessity for anesthesia and all) and the dreaded i.v.  I have tiny, tiny veins, so tiny that they have to use the pediatric needles on me. Also, with my pain disorder, it makes it extraordinarily painful. Ugh.
> 
> I'm trying to calm myself down by doing stuff. It's not working.



Mzz drink lots of water till you go NPO. It helps to plump the veins ( a lab tech told me this). Ask for their most experienced person to poke you. You do have a right to it. I have small rolling deep veins and it is always a bitch to stick me. Why should i put up being stuck by someone who is not experienced in sticking folks like me. I used to always like the techs or nurses that did the geriatric patients. They are used to small rollling veins. They could always stick me on the first try. Good luck to you and i will keep you in my prayers.


----------



## mossystate

Devi, what cinna said! Also, maybe just give yourself ' permission ' to be anxious. Sometimes, letting your brain do its thing can reduce the overall severity. I will be thinking of you, dove.


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Alrighty. I'm starting to get very anxious now. Back in the hospital tomorrow for another procedure. Not only does the procedure cause anxiety, but checking my weight (of course, I know that's a necessity for anesthesia and all) and the dreaded i.v.  I have tiny, tiny veins, so tiny that they have to use the pediatric needles on me. Also, with my pain disorder, it makes it extraordinarily painful. Ugh.
> 
> I'm trying to calm myself down by doing stuff. It's not working.



Thinking of you, my darling girl. We all love you, and wish you well for tomorrow. Just keep in your mind how excited Scrabbie will be, when you come home.

Hugs for Momma Bird :wubu:


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

olwen said:


> Hang in there! It will be over before you know it.





CastingPearls said:


> Empathy (pediatric needles too) support and love vibes headed in your direction.





cinnamitch said:


> Mzz drink lots of water till you go NPO. It helps to plump the veins ( a lab tech told me this). Ask for their most experienced person to poke you. You do have a right to it. I have small rolling deep veins and it is always a bitch to stick me. Why should i put up being stuck by someone who is not experienced in sticking folks like me. I used to always like the techs or nurses that did the geriatric patients. They are used to small rollling veins. They could always stick me on the first try. Good luck to you and i will keep you in my prayers.





mossystate said:


> Devi, what cinna said! Also, maybe just give yourself ' permission ' to be anxious. Sometimes, letting your brain do its thing can reduce the overall severity. I will be thinking of you, dove.





littlefairywren said:


> Thinking of you, my darling girl. We all love you, and wish you well for tomorrow. Just keep in your mind how excited Scrabbie will be, when you come home.
> 
> Hugs for Momma Bird :wubu:



Thanks, everybirdie .

I'm so sick and tired of this crap. :-/


----------



## Punkin1024

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Alrighty. I'm starting to get very anxious now. Back in the hospital tomorrow for another procedure. Not only does the procedure cause anxiety, but checking my weight (of course, I know that's a necessity for anesthesia and all) and the dreaded i.v.  I have tiny, tiny veins, so tiny that they have to use the pediatric needles on me. Also, with my pain disorder, it makes it extraordinarily painful. Ugh.
> 
> I'm trying to calm myself down by doing stuff. It's not working.



Adding my 2 cents in! I pray for you every day, girlie!


----------



## Punkin1024

Fallenangel2904 said:


> IC that I hate my life these days and haven't felt this depressed since I was 15 and I hate it. I just want to be okay again



Depression is difficult for anyone - especially us women. I hope you are seeing a professional for help. Let us know how we can help you pull through this. ((((Hugs))))


----------



## Weeze

I, somewhere, somehow... got the guts to apply to college. Real college. No more community college, and no more only being half an hour from home at girls' school. 
Real college... away from home... 

Holy crap, I'm nervous.


----------



## Tau

Weeze said:


> I, somewhere, somehow... got the guts to apply to college. Real college. No more community college, and no more only being half an hour from home at girls' school.
> Real college... away from home...
> 
> Holy crap, I'm nervous.



Goodluck! Hope you get in because you will love it. There is nothing like being away from home to really get to know who you are. Studying far from home for 4 years was the best thing I could have done for myself because I'm a spoilt brat and my parents act as a major cushion against reality. Having that ripped away was good for me - I'm certain you'll have a blast 

@Miz - praying hard for you chick *squishes*
@Fallen - I hear you on the depression. I've been depressed about work for too long now so am making some fairly terryifying, drastic changes. I hope you find that thing that will give you back your happy equilibrium *hugz*


----------



## WomanlyHips

Fallenangel2904 said:


> IC that I hate my life these days and haven't felt this depressed since I was 15 and I hate it. I just want to be okay again



I can totally relate to this, sending good vibes your way, I'm sorry you're suffering right now..


----------



## Crystal

I'm supposed to be watching my sugar a bit. I'm not diabetic, but in a few years, I could be if I'm not careful.

I'm devouring an entire oreo ice cream cake for my birthday.

.....and it's freakin' delicious.


----------



## Punkin1024

Crystal said:


> I'm supposed to be watching my sugar a bit. I'm not diabetic, but in a few years, I could be if I'm not careful.
> 
> I'm devouring an entire oreo ice cream cake for my birthday.
> 
> .....and it's freakin' delicious.



I don't know whether you are being serious or not, but watching sugar intake is only a part of heading off diabetes (from what I've read and studied anyway). Switching to healthier foods (less processed food - getting far away from anything with high fructose corn syrup) will also help. Healthy foods are not boring - you can have whole grains, lean protein, lots of low-fat dairy (if you can handle the lactose), fresh fruits. nuts, healthy oils (think monunsaturated like olive oil), dark chocolate (the higher the amount of cocao the better) and fresh veggies. And hey, the occasional oreo ice cream cake on your birthday is do-able, if you follow a healthy, whole foods eating plan 95% of the time.  Take care of yourself - your body will thank you when you are older!


----------



## Famouslastwords

Punkin1024 said:


> I don't know whether you are being serious or not, but watching sugar intake is only a part of heading off diabetes (from what I've read and studied anyway). Switching to healthier foods (less processed food - getting far away from anything with high fructose corn syrup) will also help. Healthy foods are not boring - you can have whole grains, lean protein, lots of low-fat dairy (if you can handle the lactose), fresh fruits. nuts, healthy oils (think monunsaturated like olive oil), dark chocolate (the higher the amount of cocao the better) and fresh veggies. And hey, the occasional oreo ice cream cake on your birthday is do-able, if you follow a healthy, whole foods eating plan 95% of the time.  Take care of yourself - your body will thank you when you are older!



Yeah. I've totally tried to do this, and am still trying. Last night I made chipotle beef with pearled barley and cauliflower and whole wheat blondies for dessert. These blondies are special as they're made with whole wheat, olive oil instead of butter, and honey instead of sugar. They also have organic almond butter, and coconut milk, and 72% cocao chips in them. They taste healthy, but they still taste good. I've been cooking out of this cook book (when I'm not eating out...) called the Master Your Metabolism cookbook, it's all about healthy eating and fresh organic foods, and real nonprocessed foods that speak your body's language.


----------



## goofy girl

Weeze said:


> I, somewhere, somehow... got the guts to apply to college. Real college. No more community college, and no more only being half an hour from home at girls' school.
> Real college... away from home...
> 
> Holy crap, I'm nervous.



It will be awesome!!


----------



## calauria

I've been really sick lately and have not been outside for a week. I have a sibling who lives only right next door. She knows I've been sick, yet she hasn't even been by to check on my kids and me. To see if I'm even still alive!! She only comes by when she wants something!!!!!


----------



## calauria

What happened to my "It still feels like rape" thread


----------



## calauria

Getting angry has made me sleepy....lol

But still I'm mad!!


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I feel that if the people from my past were to see me at my weight now, they would say to themselves "Thank God I stopped talking to her."


----------



## calauria

CarlaSixx said:


> IC I feel that if the people from my past were to see me at my weight now, they would say to themselves "Thank God I stopped talking to her."



Those types of people are not worth bothering with. Besides, they probably look like roadkill and would only be jealous of you.


----------



## KittyKitten

Nagging me about my weight is not doing anything but pissing me off.


----------



## Punkin1024

Famouslastwords said:


> Yeah. I've totally tried to do this, and am still trying. Last night I made chipotle beef with pearled barley and cauliflower and whole wheat blondies for dessert. These blondies are special as they're made with whole wheat, olive oil instead of butter, and honey instead of sugar. They also have organic almond butter, and coconut milk, and 72% cocao chips in them. They taste healthy, but they still taste good. I've been cooking out of this cook book (when I'm not eating out...) called the Master Your Metabolism cookbook, it's all about healthy eating and fresh organic foods, and real nonprocessed foods that speak your body's language.



Wow - those whole wheat blondies sound wonderful! I'm gonna look for that cookbook, sounds like it is exactly what I'd like in a cookbook!


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC tonight I had a blast!

My size did not stop me from dancing pretty much all night. Nor did it stop people from approaching me. Apparently I was the life of the party and I really liked that  Leave it to my gays to make me feel better about myself, lol. It was great!


----------



## spiritangel

CarlaSixx said:


> IC tonight I had a blast!
> 
> My size did not stop me from dancing pretty much all night. Nor did it stop people from approaching me. Apparently I was the life of the party and I really liked that  Leave it to my gays to make me feel better about myself, lol. It was great!



Awesome and glad to hear it

I love gay guys I have had times in sydney where they have come up to me on the street and told me how fabulous I look it sooo makes your day for anyone to tell you you look great especially on a day your not really feeling it


----------



## AnotherJessica

I'm finally realizing after a very long time that I've been incredibly stupid and have settled for much less than what I deserve.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Just ran into the guy from this post (the one who flirted up a storm with me in a class last term, asked me out for coffee, and was engaged the whole time to a woman he never thought to mention). For a lot of reasons I won't go into, that sequence of events took me into a pretty dark space over the past couple of months, which I am now just only barely beginning to emerge from.

He just said, "My fiancee and I need to have you over some time. We can drink a lot of wine and talk about music. You're so great. And she would really like you - you remind me of a good friend of hers, but you're shorter."

I know he's trying to be nice, and he genuinely likes me, and I'm just being bitter...but seriously man, I'll go over to your house and hang out with you and your fiancee when hell freezes over.

At least this encounter reminded me that I need to keep working to let the baggage from this event go. I don't want to hang onto these negative feelings - they bear bad fruit in my life. I want good fruit.


----------



## Fallenangel2904

Punkin1024 said:


> Depression is difficult for anyone - especially us women. I hope you are seeing a professional for help. Let us know how we can help you pull through this. ((((Hugs))))





WomanlyHips said:


> I can totally relate to this, sending good vibes your way, I'm sorry you're suffering right now..



Thank you both. I've been going through a very hard break up the last 3-4 weeks and it's taken its toll on me. So much hurt, anger, pain, betrayal....I can't even get into it because it's one big mess after another that just keeps snowballing, but it has brought me so far down. Thank you very much for the concern. I'm starting to try to be alright, and I appreciate the well wishes more then you know.


----------



## Carrie

Fallenangel2904 said:


> Thank you both. I've been going through a very hard break up the last 3-4 weeks and it's taken its toll on me. So much hurt, anger, pain, betrayal....I can't even get into it because it's one big mess after another that just keeps snowballing, but it has brought me so far down. Thank you very much for the concern. I'm starting to try to be alright, and I appreciate the well wishes more then you know.


Robin, I just wanted to add my hope and good wishes for you. I'm so sorry you're going through this; breakups are very hard. Hang in there, kiddo.


----------



## LoveBHMS

mcbeth said:


> Just ran into the guy from this post (the one who flirted up a storm with me in a class last term, asked me out for coffee, and was engaged the whole time to a woman he never thought to mention). For a lot of reasons I won't go into, that sequence of events took me into a pretty dark space over the past couple of months, which I am now just only barely beginning to emerge from.
> 
> He just said, "My fiancee and I need to have you over some time. We can drink a lot of wine and talk about music. You're so great. And she would really like you - you remind me of a good friend of hers, but you're shorter."
> 
> I know he's trying to be nice, and he genuinely likes me, and I'm just being bitter...but seriously man, I'll go over to your house and hang out with you and your fiancee when hell freezes over.
> 
> At least this encounter reminded me that I need to keep working to let the baggage from this event go. I don't want to hang onto these negative feelings - they bear bad fruit in my life. I want good fruit.



Yeah...uh..funny how some people totally forget they're engaged when they flirt with others. Even if he's recently engaged officially unless it was a super whirlwind romance where they got engaged 2 days after they met, he knew he was in a relationship when he was flirting. I don't know of any couples where the guy brings home new friends for his fiancee. Betcha he's just covering his tracks and trying to act as if he was not coming onto you, just to make you think *you* got the wrong idea.


----------



## Fallenangel2904

Carrie said:


> Robin, I just wanted to add my hope and good wishes for you. I'm so sorry you're going through this; breakups are very hard. Hang in there, kiddo.



Carrie ::hugs:: thank you!!


----------



## Punkin1024

A little quiet in here this evening (at least at my usual haunts). I'm dealing with a lot of stress right now. Little talking time with hubby (we work at different hours, so our days and nights are mixed-up). Big changes going on at work, and people still don't get that I'm walking and eating healthy to be healthy - not lose weight. Still, I understand that most people in my world think that weight loss is my goal (sigh), so of course, they feel they are making me feel good by commenting on that instead of how glad they are that I have more energy and stamina. I am so glad I don't have to explain all this to you all. DIMS is my happy place.


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I'm actually really happy that one of my friends is finally single and decided to stay that way. Now we can do fun things together and not have to really hear much about relationships and we can bitch about boys together. While it is a little sad that he's sad and stuff, I'm going to enjoy the time while he'S still in the mindset of "to hell with penises" 

Also... IC I am REALLY stressing about the Gala in September. I need to have everything done before then and have it all be perfect. I have to design an outfit and either buy it or make it, and I really suck at designing but it's the only way to get anything done and I'm afraid to totally butcher everything. Especially the fact that it's so easy to not flatter a fat frame when doing drag. I am hoping I can pull this off but it's going to be a lot of work.


----------



## spiritangel

lots of hugs

break ups are never easy but sometimes people make them even harder than needs be (my ex turning psycho cyberbullier prooved that)

Hang in there Punkin, I hate being told I have lost weight ect makes me want to put it all straight back on, although on saying that I have loads in the last 5 years and what does my mother say to me "mandy have you put on weight?" sheesh I cant win lol, as long as you are happy, healthy ect then dont let what others think get you down

McBeth, whatever you choose to do remember, someone likes you for who you are, as a friend or otherwise that should boost you just a little and remember we all think your awesome!!! Whilst it may be hard letting go of the baggage and the bitterness is the right thing to do as all that negativity eats away at us from within. Never forget how wonderful and amazing you truly are


as for me just pulling myself out of a case of I feel like I am destined to be forever singles, by doing such fun stuff as chores and housework lol and a case of the green eyed monster cause my sister has been rubbing it in that she is getting the new e craft cutting machine cause her bf is buying for her and I cant afford it atm although I would love to get the pack she is getting cause it comes with tons of bonus stuffs. add to that a phone call in the wee small hrs of this morning from my cousin full of drama with her ex, and she has done the oh so brilliant thing and jumped into a new relationship and gotten engaged before she is even divorced, and then the sms's this morning from my sister about the site I saw the ecraft cheaper ect but then she decided she diddnt want that package and the one over here is better anyway lol meh what a day. It seems I am the token single girl atm, and seem to be being left out of lots of things as usual meh cant wait till october and my two week meditaion retreat

Hugs


----------



## calauria

spiritangel said:


> lots of hugs
> 
> break ups are never easy but sometimes people make them even harder than needs be (my ex turning psycho cyberbullier prooved that)
> 
> Hang in there Punkin, I hate being told I have lost weight ect makes me want to put it all straight back on, although on saying that I have loads in the last 5 years and what does my mother say to me "mandy have you put on weight?" sheesh I cant win lol, as long as you are happy, healthy ect then dont let what others think get you down
> 
> McBeth, whatever you choose to do remember, someone likes you for who you are, as a friend or otherwise that should boost you just a little and remember we all think your awesome!!! Whilst it may be hard letting go of the baggage and the bitterness is the right thing to do as all that negativity eats away at us from within. Never forget how wonderful and amazing you truly are
> 
> 
> as for me just pulling myself out of a case of I feel like I am destined to be forever singles, by doing such fun stuff as chores and housework lol and a case of the green eyed monster cause my sister has been rubbing it in that she is getting the new e craft cutting machine cause her bf is buying for her and I cant afford it atm although I would love to get the pack she is getting cause it comes with tons of bonus stuffs. add to that a phone call in the wee small hrs of this morning from my cousin full of drama with her ex, and she has done the oh so brilliant thing and jumped into a new relationship and gotten engaged before she is even divorced, and then the sms's this morning from my sister about the site I saw the ecraft cheaper ect but then she decided she diddnt want that package and the one over here is better anyway lol meh what a day. It seems I am the token single girl atm, and seem to be being left out of lots of things as usual meh cant wait till october and my two week meditaion retreat
> 
> Hugs



*hugs* Well, at least your sis calls you. My older sister lives next door to me with her boyfriend and two teens and she only comes over when she wants something. Last week I was really sick and she knew about it, but didn't come over to see how we were doing. And knowing I have two autistic lil ones. Good thing my lil ones and I are an independent bunch or else we'd be in trouble....My lil ones know to call 911 if it ever comes a time when mommie can't wake up or any other emergency. Only my mom came to see how I was doing that week and she lives across town.


----------



## spiritangel

calauria said:


> *hugs* Well, at least your sis calls you. My older sister lives next door to me with her boyfriend and two teens and she only comes over when she wants something. Last week I was really sick and she knew about it, but didn't come over to see how we were doing. And knowing I have two autistic lil ones. Good thing my lil ones and I are an independent bunch or else we'd be in trouble....My lil ones know to call 911 if it ever comes a time when mommie can't wake up or any other emergency. Only my mom came to see how I was doing that week and she lives across town.



haha no it was text message and msn and believe me it is pretty rare, she never asks me over and we live about 10mins from each other she never even checks to see if I am ok considering that I am really isolated these days loosing the bestie and the bf within a few months of each other ect, her attitude is I am welcome at her house anytime but I dont like going where I havent been invited and when I do go I always feel like I am intruding.

Hugs I hear the not checking on you thing I was in hospital a few years back and she never even called me

she actually talks to one of my exes more than she talks to me hmm and come to think of it probbably sees him more as that is where they stay when shes in sydney with the girls I try not to dwell on these things but some days it does get to me especially as lately whenever she talks to me she is all about all the new scrapping stuff ect she has been buying knowing full well I just cant afford it. Family sux sometimes, I am always meh when I dont get to sleep properly and get woken up with text messages ect I will ge through it and remember sometimes friends make better family and your sister like mine needs a good boot up the butt and a reminder of what good sisters they have


----------



## LovelyLiz

LoveBHMS said:


> Yeah...uh..funny how some people totally forget they're engaged when they flirt with others. Even if he's recently engaged officially unless it was a super whirlwind romance where they got engaged 2 days after they met, he knew he was in a relationship when he was flirting. I don't know of any couples where the guy brings home new friends for his fiancee. Betcha he's just covering his tracks and trying to act as if he was not coming onto you, just to make you think *you* got the wrong idea.



That's actually a really compelling theory, thanks for sharing it, and for sympathizing. I appreciate it. 



spiritangel said:


> McBeth, whatever you choose to do remember, someone likes you for who you are, as a friend or otherwise that should boost you just a little and remember we all think your awesome!!! Whilst it may be hard letting go of the baggage and the bitterness is the right thing to do as all that negativity eats away at us from within. Never forget how wonderful and amazing you truly are



I have enough people liking me as a friend! LOL.  Seriously though, thanks for your encouragement. Here's to both of us letting go of some of the baggage, bitterness and green-eyed-monsters we may be dealing with!


----------



## Famouslastwords

Punkin1024 said:


> Wow - those whole wheat blondies sound wonderful! I'm gonna look for that cookbook, sounds like it is exactly what I'd like in a cookbook!



It's really good! I just made the brownies from that cookbook tonight, and I ate most of them throughout the course of the night. I keep telling myself at least it wasn't a box of processed brownies...whole wheat flour, no sugar added cocoa, honey again instead of sugar, olive oil instead of butter or vegetable oil, egg, and some of the usual suspects found in brownies like 1/4 tsp of salt, baking soda, and baking powder.

They also have a recipe for Russet fries that is delicious, but I try not to eat too many potatoes.

Both the brownies and the blondies are better after they've cooled down. The more room temperature, the better.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Punkin1024 said:


> Adding my 2 cents in! I pray for you every day, girlie!



Thank ya so much, Ella 



Weeze said:


> I, somewhere, somehow... got the guts to apply to college. Real college. No more community college, and no more only being half an hour from home at girls' school.
> Real college... away from home...
> 
> Holy crap, I'm nervous.



Oooh! Congrats!!! You'll love it!



Tau said:


> @Miz - praying hard for you chick *squishes*



Thanks, sweetie .



Famouslastwords said:


> Yeah. I've totally tried to do this, and am still trying. Last night I made chipotle beef with pearled barley and cauliflower and whole wheat blondies for dessert. These blondies are special as they're made with whole wheat, olive oil instead of butter, and honey instead of sugar. They also have organic almond butter, and coconut milk, and 72% cocao chips in them. They taste healthy, but they still taste good. I've been cooking out of this cook book (when I'm not eating out...) called the Master Your Metabolism cookbook, it's all about healthy eating and fresh organic foods, and real nonprocessed foods that speak your body's language.



Have you been impressed with the recipes you've made? Do you recommend the cookbook?




calauria said:


> I've been really sick lately and have not been outside for a week. I have a sibling who lives only right next door. She knows I've been sick, yet she hasn't even been by to check on my kids and me. To see if I'm even still alive!! She only comes by when she wants something!!!!!



(((HUGS))) I hope you start feeling better soon.



CarlaSixx said:


> IC I feel that if the people from my past were to see me at my weight now, they would say to themselves "Thank God I stopped talking to her."



Oh boy, yeah. That sucks. Calauria's right; they wouldn't be good people to be around.



CarlaSixx said:


> IC tonight I had a blast!
> 
> My size did not stop me from dancing pretty much all night. Nor did it stop people from approaching me. Apparently I was the life of the party and I really liked that  Leave it to my gays to make me feel better about myself, lol. It was great!



Glad you had a fun time .



AnotherJessica said:


> I'm finally realizing after a very long time that I've been incredibly stupid and have settled for much less than what I deserve.



(((hugs)))



mcbeth said:


> Just ran into the guy from this post (the one who flirted up a storm with me in a class last term, asked me out for coffee, and was engaged the whole time to a woman he never thought to mention). For a lot of reasons I won't go into, that sequence of events took me into a pretty dark space over the past couple of months, which I am now just only barely beginning to emerge from.
> 
> He just said, "My fiancee and I need to have you over some time. We can drink a lot of wine and talk about music. You're so great. And she would really like you - you remind me of a good friend of hers, but you're shorter."
> 
> I know he's trying to be nice, and he genuinely likes me, and I'm just being bitter...but seriously man, I'll go over to your house and hang out with you and your fiancee when hell freezes over.
> 
> At least this encounter reminded me that I need to keep working to let the baggage from this event go. I don't want to hang onto these negative feelings - they bear bad fruit in my life. I want good fruit.



Oh boy......that's loads of fun. lol Yeah, it's good to let all the bad feelings go, but even then, I would probably still feel uncomfortable about getting together.

You're a good fruit .



Fallenangel2904 said:


> Thank you both. I've been going through a very hard break up the last 3-4 weeks and it's taken its toll on me. So much hurt, anger, pain, betrayal....I can't even get into it because it's one big mess after another that just keeps snowballing, but it has brought me so far down. Thank you very much for the concern. I'm starting to try to be alright, and I appreciate the well wishes more then you know.



(((HUGS))) I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time right now. 



Punkin1024 said:


> A little quiet in here this evening (at least at my usual haunts). I'm dealing with a lot of stress right now. Little talking time with hubby (we work at different hours, so our days and nights are mixed-up). Big changes going on at work, and people still don't get that I'm walking and eating healthy to be healthy - not lose weight. Still, I understand that most people in my world think that weight loss is my goal (sigh), so of course, they feel they are making me feel good by commenting on that instead of how glad they are that I have more energy and stamina. I am so glad I don't have to explain all this to you all. DIMS is my happy place.



(((hugs))), Ms. Ella! I hope at least some of the stress decreases!





spiritangel said:


> as for me just pulling myself out of a case of I feel like I am destined to be forever singles, by doing such fun stuff as chores and housework lol and a case of the green eyed monster cause my sister has been rubbing it in that she is getting the new e craft cutting machine cause her bf is buying for her and I cant afford it atm although I would love to get the pack she is getting cause it comes with tons of bonus stuffs. add to that a phone call in the wee small hrs of this morning from my cousin full of drama with her ex, and she has done the oh so brilliant thing and jumped into a new relationship and gotten engaged before she is even divorced, and then the sms's this morning from my sister about the site I saw the ecraft cheaper ect but then she decided she diddnt want that package and the one over here is better anyway lol meh what a day. It seems I am the token single girl atm, and seem to be being left out of lots of things as usual meh cant wait till october and my two week meditaion retreat
> 
> Hugs



(((HUGS))) to you too! 

I'm sure a great guy and an ecraft are in your future!


----------



## spiritangel

Hugs Devi umm mayby ecraft is more possible than a guy atm 


how are you feeling?


----------



## Sweet Tooth

IC Sometimes it's hard to keep one's mouth shut. And that's all I'm saying about that. LOL


----------



## Vespertine

mcbeth said:


> That's actually a really compelling theory, thanks for sharing it, and for sympathizing. I appreciate it.



I just want to +1 what LovesBHM said.

IC waiting for an e-mail has me compulsively checking it. Somebody take my gmail app away...


----------



## LoveBHMS

Vespertine said:


> I just want to +1 what LovesBHM said.
> 
> IC waiting for an e-mail has me compulsively checking it. Somebody take my gmail app away...



I also wanted to add that i'm laying down _really_ good odds you have not heard the last of him. I'm guessing he's going to be super friendly over the next week or so.

Also 1 in 2 chance his fiancee isn't fat and he's a closet case.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

mcbeth said:


> Just ran into the guy from this post (the one who flirted up a storm with me in a class last term, asked me out for coffee, and was engaged the whole time to a woman he never thought to mention). For a lot of reasons I won't go into, that sequence of events took me into a pretty dark space over the past couple of months, which I am now just only barely beginning to emerge from.
> 
> He just said, "My fiancee and I need to have you over some time. We can drink a lot of wine and talk about music. You're so great. And she would really like you - you remind me of a good friend of hers, but you're shorter."
> 
> I know he's trying to be nice, and he genuinely likes me, and I'm just being bitter...but seriously man, I'll go over to your house and hang out with you and your fiancee when hell freezes over.
> 
> At least this encounter reminded me that I need to keep working to let the baggage from this event go. I don't want to hang onto these negative feelings - they bear bad fruit in my life. I want good fruit.



I hate it when guys behave this way. I think they think it's "safe" for them to flirt because they're engaged, fooling themselves into thinking they won't really do anything because they've got a fiance. But underneath the idea that it's "safe" to flirt is the thought that maybe they could make it work, maybe you'll be into a hook-up, even if they're engaged or married. They're not going to tell you at first to try and feel you out and reel you in. That whole "testing the waters" thing. Then they'll make some mention of their fiance or spouse to see how you'll react and see if you're willing to continue the flirtation. I've had this happen with married and engaged guys more times than I care to count. It absolutely sucks.

Good for you for letting things go and not hanging on to the bad feelings, though. That's something I still have a hard time doing. When I encounter shit like this in my life, I can brood about it for months.


----------



## Famouslastwords

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Have you been impressed with the recipes you've made? Do you recommend the cookbook?



I do! I am impressed with the way they make healthy food taste pretty good. I can't glow enough about the book. There is a recipe for pear sorbet I want to try, but I need a ice cream maker to make it. So far, my favorite recipe (and I've made it twice since I've gotten this book) is almond crusted chicken. The coating is much better than any shake and bake I've had...and that's what I used to coat my chicken in. This is much healthier too.

They have a list of the things that each recipe does at the top of the recipe like decrease inflammation, boost metabolism, heart healthy, beautiful skin, etc. Sometimes there's so many things it does, just by a simple combination of things, that you're amazed!


----------



## mossystate

Doctor's appointment this morning. Went in to discuss the results of the vampires going after me last month. My blood glucose reading was elevated, so they also wanted to stick my finger to do the hemoglobin a1c test. I thought I was for sure going to get a diabetes diagnosis, but for now, I am skirting the monster. A1c was 5.9. That is slightly over the top of the acceptable range, so I really want to get that down. 

My trigycerides were higher than normal, but she was not alarmed, saying it wasn't much...but there again is that lurking evil. My bad cholesterol was fine, and my good cholesterol was really good, so she said. Blood pressure had been 140/80 at my visit last month. Today it was something like 116/76. The weird thing was my weight. I don't know that the assistant got it right, but I was 20 pounds less than last year this time, the last time I knew my weight. That really makes NO sense...so I am wondering. I don't see a difference in how my clothing fits...at all...and my eating habits did not get magically better. Weird.

I do not want diabetes, and while I know I won't do everything I can to make that not happen, I hope I can do enough. The nurse practitioner was not a lecturing type, and that made everything feel less stressful. Small changes and I will go from there. How much of a fat woman am I that I told roomie that if I did get an absolute diabetes diagnosis, I was going to tell him to get me a huge birthday cake as my last big hurrah. * slaps forehead * lol

And that concludes this chapter of Monique Finally Starts Going To The Doctor.


----------



## nettie

IC I often visit this forum because I find such support, wisdom, and compassion from the women here. I know I don't post a lot, but I am here, and I need to say thanks more often. So .... thanks to all of you for sharing your stories, your insight, your love.

And big hugs to everyone who is hurting tonight.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

spiritangel said:


> Hugs Devi umm mayby ecraft is more possible than a guy atm
> 
> 
> how are you feeling?



lol

Oh, not fabulous by any stretch. I'm still extremely swollen and bruised, and feel like I've been beaten. Being upright's a bitch, and I can hardly sleep. :-/

Anywho, thanks for asking .



Famouslastwords said:


> I do! I am impressed with the way they make healthy food taste pretty good. I can't glow enough about the book. There is a recipe for pear sorbet I want to try, but I need a ice cream maker to make it. So far, my favorite recipe (and I've made it twice since I've gotten this book) is almond crusted chicken. The coating is much better than any shake and bake I've had...and that's what I used to coat my chicken in. This is much healthier too.
> 
> They have a list of the things that each recipe does at the top of the recipe like decrease inflammation, boost metabolism, heart healthy, beautiful skin, etc. Sometimes there's so many things it does, just by a simple combination of things, that you're amazed!



Thanks!



mossystate said:


> Doctor's appointment this morning. Went in to discuss the results of the vampires going after me last month. My blood glucose reading was elevated, so they also wanted to stick my finger to do the hemoglobin a1c test. I thought I was for sure going to get a diabetes diagnosis, but for now, I am skirting the monster. A1c was 5.9. That is slightly over the top of the acceptable range, so I really want to get that down.
> 
> My trigycerides were higher than normal, but she was not alarmed, saying it wasn't much...but there again is that lurking evil. My bad cholesterol was fine, and my good cholesterol was really good, so she said. Blood pressure had been 140/80 at my visit last month. Today it was something like 116/76. The weird thing was my weight. I don't know that the assistant got it right, but I was 20 pounds less than last year this time, the last time I knew my weight. That really makes NO sense...so I am wondering. I don't see a difference in how my clothing fits...at all...and my eating habits did not get magically better. Weird.
> 
> I do not want diabetes, and while I know I won't do everything I can to make that not happen, I hope I can do enough. The nurse practitioner was not a lecturing type, and that made everything feel less stressful. Small changes and I will go from there. How much of a fat woman am I that I told roomie that if I did get an absolute diabetes diagnosis, I was going to tell him to get me a huge birthday cake as my last big hurrah. * slaps forehead * lol
> 
> And that concludes this chapter of Monique Finally Starts Going To The Doctor.



Yea Mossy!!!


----------



## calauria

Thanks MizzSnakeBite. *hugs* And, I hope all is going well with you.

And, I hope all is going well with the rest of the ladies on this board, if not, super, big hugs to all of you.

You know, I've just realize that, like 95% of the people on my facebook friends are people who bullied me all through elementary school to high school, people who bullied me in college, toxic friends and lovers who took sexual advantage of me. And I have 205 people on my friends list! Why do I have them on there? And, they are oh so nice and kind to me now...Why?? And, we don't bring up none of the things that they've done to me. I don't know what is more worse: that I have them on my friends list or that most of the connections of my past have been toxic ones. You know, I'm beginning to believe that something is wrong with me. Something is just not right.


----------



## CarlaSixx

calauria said:


> You know, I've just realize that, like 95% of the people on my facebook friends are people who bullied me all through elementary school to high school, people who bullied me in college, toxic friends and lovers who took sexual advantage of me. And I have 205 people on my friends list! Why do I have them on there? And, they are oh so nice and kind to me now...Why?? And, we don't bring up none of the things that they've done to me. I don't know what is more worse: that I have them on my friends list or that most of the connections of my past have been toxic ones. You know, I'm beginning to believe that something is wrong with me. Something is just not right.



I had the same thing happen to me. I was in contact with them and everything, but these people had been very toxic for me. My list had been in the 300s. Most of them from high school since I went to a very small elementary school in the countryside, but basically people I added or who added me basically because we remembered who each other was. One day I was fed up with it and blamed the negativity in my life on keeping these folks around. I cleared out almost 200 people off my list in a little over an hour. It felt lonely for awhile, as I no longer had people to chat to, but I ended up feeling better in the long run. And I've not added a single one back since. It was a tough decision that I thought about for about 4 months, but I ended up doing it with fabulous results on my life as a whole. I even deleted family, lol. It did a world of good.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

calauria said:


> Thanks MizzSnakeBite. *hugs* And, I hope all is going well with you.
> 
> And, I hope all is going well with the rest of the ladies on this board, if not, super, big hugs to all of you.
> 
> You know, I've just realize that, like 95% of the people on my facebook friends are people who bullied me all through elementary school to high school, people who bullied me in college, toxic friends and lovers who took sexual advantage of me. And I have 205 people on my friends list! Why do I have them on there? And, they are oh so nice and kind to me now...Why?? And, we don't bring up none of the things that they've done to me. I don't know what is more worse: that I have them on my friends list or that most of the connections of my past have been toxic ones. You know, I'm beginning to believe that something is wrong with me. Something is just not right.



Thanks so much, sweetie .

Personally, unless they've apologized, I would de-friend them. I know people can change, but I don't think I'd want them around unless they really have changed and have apologized for past actions. They may not remember, so you might contact them with your realization and see what they say. 

For the ones that have taken sexual advantage of you........I'd de-friend them and be done with them.


----------



## Punkin1024

spiritangel said:


> lots of hugs
> 
> Hang in there Punkin, I hate being told I have lost weight ect makes me want to put it all straight back on, although on saying that I have loads in the last 5 years and what does my mother say to me "mandy have you put on weight?" sheesh I cant win lol, as long as you are happy, healthy ect then dont let what others think get you down
> 
> It seems I am the token single girl atm, and seem to be being left out of lots of things as usual meh cant wait till october and my two week meditaion retreat
> 
> Hugs



Thanks, spiritangel! Also, October is my favorite month (birthday month) and Autumn is my favorite time of year. Like you, I can hardly wait because I have my last full week vacation planned for the week of Halloween!



Famouslastwords said:


> It's really good! I just made the brownies from that cookbook tonight, and I ate most of them throughout the course of the night. I keep telling myself at least it wasn't a box of processed brownies...whole wheat flour, no sugar added cocoa, honey again instead of sugar, olive oil instead of butter or vegetable oil, egg, and some of the usual suspects found in brownies like 1/4 tsp of salt, baking soda, and baking powder.
> Both the brownies and the blondies are better after they've cooled down. The more room temperature, the better.



Oh my gosh! Now I really am going to have to find that cookbook and add it to my arsenal of healthy cooking recipes!



mossystate said:


> Doctor's appointment this morning. Went in to discuss the results of the vampires going after me last month.
> I do not want diabetes, and while I know I won't do everything I can to make that not happen, I hope I can do enough.
> 
> And that concludes this chapter of Monique Finally Starts Going To The Doctor.


I am so glad you went for the checkup and that you are doing what is necessary to avoid diabetes. This is why I'm working on changing my eating habits and exercising at least 4 times a week. Hugs to you my friends for taking care of you!



nettie said:


> IC I often visit this forum because I find such support, wisdom, and compassion from the women here. I know I don't post a lot, but I am here, and I need to say thanks more often. So .... thanks to all of you for sharing your stories, your insight, your love.
> 
> And big hugs to everyone who is hurting tonight.



The very reasons you find me in here! This is a great place to hang out, isn't it?! And, hugs back to you Nettie!



calauria said:


> Thanks MizzSnakeBite. *hugs* And, I hope all is going well with you.
> 
> And, I hope all is going well with the rest of the ladies on this board, if not, super, big hugs to all of you.
> 
> You know, I've just realize that, like 95% of the people on my facebook friends are people who bullied me all through elementary school to high school, people who bullied me in college, toxic friends and lovers who took sexual advantage of me. You know, I'm beginning to believe that something is wrong with me. Something is just not right.



Calauria - I've got several "friends" on Facebook that were not the best of friends to me in High School and College. I've found, that with age, most of these people want to leave their teenage past behind them and some don't even realize that they emotionally hurt me. So, don't think there is something wrong with you. Just do what I do, try to make more REAL friends and put them in a special group on Facebook. I've got many friends from DIMS there and, ya know, they're the ones that respond to me the most in there.


----------



## LovelyLiz

MizzSnakeBite said:


> lol
> 
> Oh, not fabulous by any stretch. I'm still extremely swollen and bruised, and feel like I've been beaten. Being upright's a bitch, and I can hardly sleep. :-/
> 
> Anywho, thanks for asking



I'm still thinking of you too, woman. Hope your body heals quickly, and that you have some comfort and are able to sleep! That can make such a difference in mood. Take good care.


----------



## luscious_lulu

I had a really great time in Vegas. I made so many new friends and had so much fun. It's totally worth the bash flu that I have now.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

calauria said:


> Thanks MizzSnakeBite. *hugs* And, I hope all is going well with you.
> 
> And, I hope all is going well with the rest of the ladies on this board, if not, super, big hugs to all of you.
> 
> You know, I've just realize that, like 95% of the people on my facebook friends are people who bullied me all through elementary school to high school, people who bullied me in college, toxic friends and lovers who took sexual advantage of me. And I have 205 people on my friends list! Why do I have them on there? And, they are oh so nice and kind to me now...Why?? And, we don't bring up none of the things that they've done to me. I don't know what is more worse: that I have them on my friends list or that most of the connections of my past have been toxic ones. You know, I'm beginning to believe that something is wrong with me. Something is just not right.



You aren't who you were in high school and neither are your former classmates (hopefully). Listen to Spirit. Put then in a special place and leave them and as much of those past hurts as possible there. Who knows? As you get to continue to get to know each other as adults, you may find later on that there are one or two you can forgive and they can come off the special list and just be a real friend. In the meanwhile, live your life with your real friends, the ones who love and support you and will only take you down a peg when even you'll admit you needed the reality check. 

Don't you dare punish yourself now for the crap they did to you then.


----------



## CastingPearls

calauria said:


> You know, I've just realize that, like 95% of the people on my facebook friends are people who bullied me all through elementary school to high school, people who bullied me in college, toxic friends and lovers who took sexual advantage of me. And I have 205 people on my friends list! Why do I have them on there? And, they are oh so nice and kind to me now...Why?? And, we don't bring up none of the things that they've done to me. I don't know what is more worse: that I have them on my friends list or that most of the connections of my past have been toxic ones. You know, I'm beginning to believe that something is wrong with me. Something is just not right.





OneWickedAngel said:


> You aren't who you were in high school and neither are your former classmates (hopefully). Listen to Spirit. Put then in a special place and leave them and as much of those past hurts as possible there. Who knows? As you get to continue to get to know each other as adults, you may find later on that there are one or two you can forgive and they can come off the special list and just be a real friend. In the meanwhile, live your life with your real friends, the ones who love and support you and will only take you down a peg when even you'll admit you needed the reality check.
> 
> Don't you dare punish yourself now for the crap they did to you then.



I have a lot of Facebook friends because I play a lot of games when I can't sleep (insomniac) but I've had requests from quite a few bullies from school and the old neighborhood. And it's funny but a good number of them have contacted me to apologize for their past behavior. In fact, I recently had a party and invited one who told me to my shock that they were actually jealous of me because I was 'so popular' and I swear I don't remember it that way but others have said it too. Other former bullies have commented how well I did for myself and there wasn't a shred of malice in it (I'm a really good judge of that) and then tell me how their life didn't turn out the way they planned. (whose does, really?) I'm a firm believer in 'living well is the best revenge' so I'm not holding onto any grudges and I DO believe people can change and grow up. A lot don't but I'm not going to refuse an olive branch when someone sincerely apologizes and/or wants to be friends or at least keep in touch. Some of my best friends were first my most bitter enemies.


----------



## Tina

There was this one girl from church way back when I was Mormon and in high school. I had a couple of female friends, but she lured them away and turned them against me. She was a twin and very popular and pretty (but ugly to me) and a cheerleader. She and her group played mean pranks on me every chance they got. She was brutal. They were brutal. She was probably the non-family-member most responsible for fat-related trauma in my life. She used to turn people against me, leave notes in my locker, and get others to play pranks on me with her. She was hateful, mean and calculating. I cannot describe the hellishness I went through at her hands. I should have soundly kicked her ass, but I didn't. Was still too fresh from childhood abuse, and feeling like the things she said about me must be true, and was too used to all kinds of abuse to rise up and slap the living shit out of her.

So just by chance I look her up on Facebook and there she is. She's now evidently living in Provo, Utah. Married the cutest Mormon boy in our Ward.

So, I wrote her this note. Not being a 'friend' I could just see her photo and saw that she still looked very much the same (was probably an old photo ). I wrote this to her:

_"Hi Sherrie,

I see you're still pretty. On the outside.

Found your profile on Facebook and I'm just wondering if you're still cruel, judgmental and mean towards fat people. It must have been a nightmare for you to have had such a fat father. I would have thought that him being so big might have made you a more compassionate person, but I guess just like those who have been abused, some go on to use their experience to help others, and some go on to abuse others.

I hope that none of your children are fat, and that if they are, you grew up enough, and evolved, in order to make them feel loved, and not hate their bodies and themselves because of your bigotry.

Tina"_


Just for shits and giggles I thought I'd check my Facebook to see if she'd written back. I'm guessing she blocked me. So much for learning from mistakes and making amends. Very mature behavior, that.


----------



## Lovelyone

calauria said:


> Thanks MizzSnakeBite. *hugs* And, I hope all is going well with you.
> 
> And, I hope all is going well with the rest of the ladies on this board, if not, super, big hugs to all of you.
> 
> You know, I've just realize that, like 95% of the people on my facebook friends are people who bullied me all through elementary school to high school, people who bullied me in college, toxic friends and lovers who took sexual advantage of me. And I have 205 people on my friends list! Why do I have them on there? And, they are oh so nice and kind to me now...Why?? And, we don't bring up none of the things that they've done to me. I don't know what is more worse: that I have them on my friends list or that most of the connections of my past have been toxic ones. You know, I'm beginning to believe that something is wrong with me. Something is just not right.



Here's a story of which I can relate:
When I turned 27, my insurance man passed away and they gave his business to someone new. As I went in to pay my car insurance I realized that the woman who was secretary to the new ins. man was a girl I HATED in high school. She was a cheerleader who tormented me with nastiness all through high school. She and her friends were relentless in their endeavors to make me feel like an outcast, humiliate me and embarrass me--so seeing her after all those years instantly brought a rush of anger and frustration back to me. My face got hot and red and all I could think inside my head was "tell the bitch off" but I didn't. She was kind and polite as she took my payment and informed me that she was in charge of all of the the high school reunion business that would be happening the following year. She made the mistake of asking me if I would be attending. I said to her, "I don't think I would like to attend that reunion. The people of that high school made me feel horrible, attacked my self esteem, created drama when there shouldn't have been any, and basically treated me like an outcast. Why would ANYONE want to attend such an event?" 
Her response was the following:
"You aren't the only person who's stated such things to me. I just wanted to tell you that I am so sorry for treating you in such a manner. We were all children trying to fit in and find a place. I also had esteem problems, felt like an outcast in my circle of friends, and some of the guys gave me a reputation. I lived through it, became a better person, and hopefully you can see that. Whether or not you come is up to you, but I would hope that you decide to come with your head held high and show everyone that you came through it resiliently." I thanked her for her words and apology, and basically told her that I had moved past all that and didn't wish to attend cos it would bring up nothing but bad memories for me. As someone stated before, that was a long time ago and people had changed but I really don't have any desire to prove myself to those people. 
Tying it all in, I've had some people from high school who treated me awfully who have asked for a friend request. I add them...but that doesn't mean that I have to KNOW them personally.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

couldn't sleep tonight so watched the movie Feed on Netflix. One of the main characters reminded me of a specific Dim's poster and now I don't think I will ever be able to read another post of his without thinking of that movie.


----------



## calauria

Thank you ladies for all the awesome advise and support. This is why I love you all so much and am not ashamed to share what's in my heart of hearts.:wubu:


----------



## nettie

IC that I'm approaching the one year anniversary of my marriage ending and while I tell those around me I'm doing fine, I'm really not.


----------



## littlefairywren

nettie said:


> IC that I'm approaching the one year anniversary of my marriage ending and while I tell those around me I'm doing fine, I'm really not.



Nettie, I had a hard time too that first anniversary date (memories can be very painful, and for varying reasons). But it will, and does get easier. (((Hugs)))


----------



## aocutiepi

IC that everything was going pretty okay today up until the drive home from the gym--I'd found a great used stroller/carseat combo for my sister at a yard sale I stopped by on a whim, had lunch with her, and kicked major butt at the gym... I've never been this sore, ever.

Dad went with me because he's trying to lose weight too. On the way home, he was talking about trying to fix my "eating habits" and how it was a shame that I "don't really like vegetables" because he "wants me to get healthy." I went on to say that I want to get healthy too but I'm nervous about being seen as a different person by everyone I know if I do end up losing a significant amount of weight, and that the simple minded people I've grown up around will talk about how beautiful I've become and how proud of me they are like the only major accomplishment in my life will have been losing weight and becoming "acceptable"--I've seen it happen to other large friends of mine who lost weight. That somehow turned to men and how I'll probably finally find someone when I lose 100 pounds because (his words, not mine) "99.9% of men like thin women." I argued that I thought guys who liked fat chicks exist (thank you Dims) and he said, "Yeah, there are probably a few strange ones."

It made me upset because I'm finally starting to learn to accept that my body is okay and that I'm lovable and there are guys out there who *won't* be settling for me because they can't score a skinny lady and who might actually *prefer* my body type. And then I feel like I was pushed back to square one. I was just getting ready to ask I guy I really like to be a date to a function with me after spending weeks working up the courage, but now I'm of the mindset that he's probably only interested in a platonic relationship because there isn't a snowball's chance in hell that he's attracted to me... because I'm fat and he doesn't seem strange enough to be in the .1%. 

I love my dad and I know he means well, but it was really hard for me to take. I locked myself in the bathroom with my iPod on sad songs and bawled my eyes out for a good twenty minutes. 

Also... my mother has always been at least a size 12 and up to a 22 for the duration of their 31 year marriage, which makes me wonder if he is/was ever attracted to her. Which makes me super sad.




nettie said:


> IC I often visit this forum because I find such support, wisdom, and compassion from the women here. I know I don't post a lot, but I am here, and I need to say thanks more often. So .... thanks to all of you for sharing your stories, your insight, your love.



IC the same... I need to come here more often. I really love you ladies.



nettie said:


> And big hugs to everyone who is hurting tonight.



IC this made me tear up again.


----------



## CarlaSixx

Aocutiepie, I'm sorry to hear the kind of day you've had with your father  Mine always said that kind of thing to my face, among doing other things. It IS very tough, but he is *wrong.* Keep your chin up. Do what feels right for you. If it starts feeling like it's not for yourself, go back to you. And (((hugs)))



---------


IC it's only July, but I am already freaking out about Halloween. Usually I would have decided on my costumes by the end of April at the latest, but I'm only decided on one of my costumes right now, and just decided this week. I usually start working on my costumes at this point. And yes, that's plural, lol. I always have at least 2 costumes for Halloween. More if I'm going to attend costume parties, too. But for the day itself, I have a day costume and a night costume. Have done it that way since I was about 10 years old. 

I'm freaking out about not being able to pull it off or find the things I need. I think the most important part of the one costume is the jacket, and I don't know where to find a jacket in my size for cheap  And it has to be rather masculine. But then, it gets me worrying if I'll get a costume for the rest of the day. I need to decide on that soon, too, so that I can get to work. GAH!

I take Halloween and costume design really seriously. Along with decorations, lol.


----------



## LovelyLiz

aocutiepie...I'm so sorry you had such a rough day. It's not an easy thing to hang onto hope when sometimes there seems to be just contrary evidence at the moment in daily life. Hang in there, and may hope be rekindled in you after some good sleep.


----------



## LovelyLiz

nettie said:


> IC that I'm approaching the one year anniversary of my marriage ending and while I tell those around me I'm doing fine, I'm really not.



So sorry, nettie. That's such a big loss. HUGS to you!

Are you going to do something to commemorate the day, somehow? I mean, like, to tie action, ritual, and bodily engagement with the emotional feelings. A close friend of mine, on the anniversary of his mother's death every year, scatters flowers growing nearby wherever he's living into a body of water and then goes for a swim among them. It's really healing for him. 

Hope some of your friends will also be able to support you through this. Take care.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

nettie said:


> IC that I'm approaching the one year anniversary of my marriage ending and while I tell those around me I'm doing fine, I'm really not.



(((HUGS)))



aocutiepi said:


> IC that everything was going pretty okay today up until the drive home from the gym--I'd found a great used stroller/carseat combo for my sister at a yard sale I stopped by on a whim, had lunch with her, and kicked major butt at the gym... I've never been this sore, ever.
> 
> Dad went with me because he's trying to lose weight too. On the way home, he was talking about trying to fix my "eating habits" and how it was a shame that I "don't really like vegetables" because he "wants me to get healthy." I went on to say that I want to get healthy too but I'm nervous about being seen as a different person by everyone I know if I do end up losing a significant amount of weight, and that the simple minded people I've grown up around will talk about how beautiful I've become and how proud of me they are like the only major accomplishment in my life will have been losing weight and becoming "acceptable"--I've seen it happen to other large friends of mine who lost weight. That somehow turned to men and how I'll probably finally find someone when I lose 100 pounds because (his words, not mine) "99.9% of men like thin women." I argued that I thought guys who liked fat chicks exist (thank you Dims) and he said, "Yeah, there are probably a few strange ones."
> 
> It made me upset because I'm finally starting to learn to accept that my body is okay and that I'm lovable and there are guys out there who *won't* be settling for me because they can't score a skinny lady and who might actually *prefer* my body type. And then I feel like I was pushed back to square one. I was just getting ready to ask I guy I really like to be a date to a function with me after spending weeks working up the courage, but now I'm of the mindset that he's probably only interested in a platonic relationship because there isn't a snowball's chance in hell that he's attracted to me... because I'm fat and he doesn't seem strange enough to be in the .1%.
> 
> I love my dad and I know he means well, but it was really hard for me to take. I locked myself in the bathroom with my iPod on sad songs and bawled my eyes out for a good twenty minutes.
> 
> Also... my mother has always been at least a size 12 and up to a 22 for the duration of their 31 year marriage, which makes me wonder if he is/was ever attracted to her. Which makes me super sad.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> IC the same... I need to come here more often. I really love you ladies.
> 
> 
> 
> IC this made me tear up again.



((HUGS))) to you too.


----------



## luscious_lulu

nettie said:


> IC that I'm approaching the one year anniversary of my marriage ending and while I tell those around me I'm doing fine, I'm really not.



(((hugs))) There is no shame in not being ok with this loss. You feel how you feel and it's perfectly ok.



aocutiepi said:


> IC that everything was going pretty okay today up until the drive home from the gym--I'd found a great used stroller/carseat combo for my sister at a yard sale I stopped by on a whim, had lunch with her, and kicked major butt at the gym... I've never been this sore, ever.
> 
> Dad went with me because he's trying to lose weight too. On the way home, he was talking about trying to fix my "eating habits" and how it was a shame that I "don't really like vegetables" because he "wants me to get healthy." I went on to say that I want to get healthy too but I'm nervous about being seen as a different person by everyone I know if I do end up losing a significant amount of weight, and that the simple minded people I've grown up around will talk about how beautiful I've become and how proud of me they are like the only major accomplishment in my life will have been losing weight and becoming "acceptable"--I've seen it happen to other large friends of mine who lost weight. That somehow turned to men and how I'll probably finally find someone when I lose 100 pounds because (his words, not mine) "99.9% of men like thin women." I argued that I thought guys who liked fat chicks exist (thank you Dims) and he said, "Yeah, there are probably a few strange ones."
> 
> It made me upset because I'm finally starting to learn to accept that my body is okay and that I'm lovable and there are guys out there who *won't* be settling for me because they can't score a skinny lady and who might actually *prefer* my body type. And then I feel like I was pushed back to square one. I was just getting ready to ask I guy I really like to be a date to a function with me after spending weeks working up the courage, but now I'm of the mindset that he's probably only interested in a platonic relationship because there isn't a snowball's chance in hell that he's attracted to me... because I'm fat and he doesn't seem strange enough to be in the .1%.
> 
> I love my dad and I know he means well, but it was really hard for me to take. I locked myself in the bathroom with my iPod on sad songs and bawled my eyes out for a good twenty minutes.
> 
> Also... my mother has always been at least a size 12 and up to a 22 for the duration of their 31 year marriage, which makes me wonder if he is/was ever attracted to her. Which makes me super sad.



Some people just don't get it. Try not to let other people's perceptions taint the progress you are making. Everyday tell yourself you are a beautiful woman and you are worthy of love.


----------



## spiritangel

Hugs hugs and more hugs to all in need


IC I am very worried my bearbies that are on silent auction are going to go to their first bidders, and I will end up loosing money on them


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

spiritangel said:


> Hugs hugs and more hugs to all in need
> 
> 
> IC I am very worried my bearbies that are on silent auction are going to go to their first bidders, and I will end up loosing money on them



(((HUGS)))

Next time, to prevent that, have a reserve.


----------



## Sweet Tooth

aocutiepi said:


> Dad went with me because he's trying to lose weight too. On the way home, he was talking about trying to fix my "eating habits" and how it was a shame that I "don't really like vegetables" because he "wants me to get healthy." I went on to say that I want to get healthy too but I'm nervous about being seen as a different person by everyone I know if I do end up losing a significant amount of weight, and that the simple minded people I've grown up around will talk about how beautiful I've become and how proud of me they are like the only major accomplishment in my life will have been losing weight and becoming "acceptable"--I've seen it happen to other large friends of mine who lost weight. That somehow turned to men and how I'll probably finally find someone when I lose 100 pounds because (his words, not mine) "99.9% of men like thin women." I argued that I thought guys who liked fat chicks exist (thank you Dims) and he said, "Yeah, there are probably a few strange ones."
> 
> It made me upset because I'm finally starting to learn to accept that my body is okay and that I'm lovable and there are guys out there who *won't* be settling for me because they can't score a skinny lady and who might actually *prefer* my body type. And then I feel like I was pushed back to square one. I was just getting ready to ask I guy I really like to be a date to a function with me after spending weeks working up the courage, but now I'm of the mindset that he's probably only interested in a platonic relationship because there isn't a snowball's chance in hell that he's attracted to me... because I'm fat and he doesn't seem strange enough to be in the .1%.
> 
> I love my dad and I know he means well, but it was really hard for me to take. I locked myself in the bathroom with my iPod on sad songs and bawled my eyes out for a good twenty minutes.
> 
> Also... my mother has always been at least a size 12 and up to a 22 for the duration of their 31 year marriage, which makes me wonder if he is/was ever attracted to her. Which makes me super sad.



This seems to be the week for me to talk about some of my experiences with my family like this.

I know my family wasn't trying to be cruel or malicious. I believe they truly felt my life would be happier if I lost weight, so more men would find me attractive, so I wouldn't have discrimination while finding work, and so I could avoid the taunts of society. I do remember my dad discussing with my teachers teasing I'd get in school and making sure the situation was handled rather than letting it happen for my own good. Unfortunately, the comments and lack of support from them hurt far more than anything from the outside could dish.

Thank goodness I'm stubborn.

I first was smacked with the idea of big being acceptable when I saw a BBW magazine in a local store. I was repulsed and yet curiously drawn to it. The next time I was there, I bought my first copy, which I still have. I started reading on size acceptance, wrote papers on it in college classes, and joined my local NAAFA chapter. [Some of those people are still dear friends.]

It took my family a while to catch up with my changes. They just didn't get that this was a new way of life for me. Some fought it more than others, and some just keep their mouths shut... but they do it. My grandmother, to the end never quite got it, but she at least kept quiet.

But fathers... ... we get so much of how we relate to men in our lives from our dads, whether we want to or not. It's important that they think we're beautiful and special, even if we can eventually overcome hurt from dads who don't. You just keep doing what you need to do to love yourself and who you are.

My dad, towards the end of his life, and I had a talk where I confronted him about some of the negative talk he gave me about my weight under the guise of wanting the best for me. Literally it was like his eyes were opened and his mouth was shut. I'm so grateful I had that before he passed away. He may not have understood, but he had the graciousness to just give me support. You never know what your dad may come to see about you and your beauty.

Edited to add: My dad, at the end, also made it clear that even some "good" guys weren't good enough for me. I knew he valued me before that, but it took him awhile to be able to show it without conditional "but if you..." comments.


----------



## calauria

aocutiepi said:


> IC that everything was going pretty okay today up until the drive home from the gym--I'd found a great used stroller/carseat combo for my sister at a yard sale I stopped by on a whim, had lunch with her, and kicked major butt at the gym... I've never been this sore, ever.
> 
> Dad went with me because he's trying to lose weight too. On the way home, he was talking about trying to fix my "eating habits" and how it was a shame that I "don't really like vegetables" because he "wants me to get healthy." I went on to say that I want to get healthy too but I'm nervous about being seen as a different person by everyone I know if I do end up losing a significant amount of weight, and that the simple minded people I've grown up around will talk about how beautiful I've become and how proud of me they are like the only major accomplishment in my life will have been losing weight and becoming "acceptable"--I've seen it happen to other large friends of mine who lost weight. That somehow turned to men and how I'll probably finally find someone when I lose 100 pounds because (his words, not mine) "99.9% of men like thin women." I argued that I thought guys who liked fat chicks exist (thank you Dims) and he said, "Yeah, there are probably a few strange ones."
> 
> It made me upset because I'm finally starting to learn to accept that my body is okay and that I'm lovable and there are guys out there who *won't* be settling for me because they can't score a skinny lady and who might actually *prefer* my body type. And then I feel like I was pushed back to square one. I was just getting ready to ask I guy I really like to be a date to a function with me after spending weeks working up the courage, but now I'm of the mindset that he's probably only interested in a platonic relationship because there isn't a snowball's chance in hell that he's attracted to me... because I'm fat and he doesn't seem strange enough to be in the .1%.
> 
> I love my dad and I know he means well, but it was really hard for me to take. I locked myself in the bathroom with my iPod on sad songs and bawled my eyes out for a good twenty minutes.
> 
> Also... my mother has always been at least a size 12 and up to a 22 for the duration of their 31 year marriage, which makes me wonder if he is/was ever attracted to her. Which makes me super sad.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> IC the same... I need to come here more often. I really love you ladies.
> 
> 
> 
> IC this made me tear up again.



Sorry, you have to go through this. *hugs*. I can empathize with you. My family is sorta like this, but a little bit more mean. They have shut up over the years, since I gave them a piece of my mind, it is more about their action than what they say that hurts now. I know it is very hard, but keep doing what you are doing. Keep saying and believing that you are a very beautiful woman and you deserved to be loved.


----------



## littlefairywren

aocutiepi said:


> IC that everything was going pretty okay today up until the drive home from the gym--I'd found a great used stroller/carseat combo for my sister at a yard sale I stopped by on a whim, had lunch with her, and kicked major butt at the gym... I've never been this sore, ever.
> 
> Dad went with me because he's trying to lose weight too. On the way home, he was talking about trying to fix my "eating habits" and how it was a shame that I "don't really like vegetables" because he "wants me to get healthy." I went on to say that I want to get healthy too but I'm nervous about being seen as a different person by everyone I know if I do end up losing a significant amount of weight, and that the simple minded people I've grown up around will talk about how beautiful I've become and how proud of me they are like the only major accomplishment in my life will have been losing weight and becoming "acceptable"--I've seen it happen to other large friends of mine who lost weight. That somehow turned to men and how I'll probably finally find someone when I lose 100 pounds because (his words, not mine) "99.9% of men like thin women." I argued that I thought guys who liked fat chicks exist (thank you Dims) and he said, "Yeah, there are probably a few strange ones."
> 
> It made me upset because I'm finally starting to learn to accept that my body is okay and that I'm lovable and there are guys out there who *won't* be settling for me because they can't score a skinny lady and who might actually *prefer* my body type. And then I feel like I was pushed back to square one. I was just getting ready to ask I guy I really like to be a date to a function with me after spending weeks working up the courage, but now I'm of the mindset that he's probably only interested in a platonic relationship because there isn't a snowball's chance in hell that he's attracted to me... because I'm fat and he doesn't seem strange enough to be in the .1%.
> 
> I love my dad and I know he means well, but it was really hard for me to take. I locked myself in the bathroom with my iPod on sad songs and bawled my eyes out for a good twenty minutes.
> 
> Also... my mother has always been at least a size 12 and up to a 22 for the duration of their 31 year marriage, which makes me wonder if he is/was ever attracted to her. Which makes me super sad.



I hope you're in a better space now, aocutiepi. Sometimes it feels like we reach a comfortable acceptance of our bodies, and it only takes one remark, and back we go to the insecurities that plague us. calauria is right, you are a beautiful woman and are deserving of love.


----------



## aocutiepi

Thank you guys for your kind words. I'm feeling a little better today but still not the best. It will take time.


----------



## Punkin1024

aocutiepi said:


> Thank you guys for your kind words. I'm feeling a little better today but still not the best. It will take time.



I am so sorry that you have had to deal with the frustration of people you love just not "getting it" when it comes to the world of BBW. I, too, have had to deal with this sort of mentality from family. The worst was when my dear Mom died. I had so many relatives telling me to lose the weight or I'd die young like she did (she was 59 when she died from uterine cancer). I know they meant well, but it was so disheartening for me. I am so thankful that I discovered BBW Magazine and from there discovered Dimensions. This place means a lot to me - it is my happy, comfort zone. I hope that you will come to find that there is a world of people that totally believe that fat is beautiful. Keep your spirits up and keep coming back to this place. Hugs!


----------



## Lovelyone

I confess that I love how soft my rolls are.


----------



## CarlaSixx

Well... it's happened.

I've now been medically labeled "unfit to work for medical reasons." And I was told it would be so for at least a year, and after a second assessment in 6 months from now, if there really isn't any improvement on the mental side as well as the physical, I will be put as permanently unemployable and will be on disability. Right now my family doctor is leaving the disability label up to my shrink because that's what's affecting me the most.

He marked down that I cannot work because of low energy/stamina, can't sit for too long, can't stand for over an hour, no walking, etc. And marked down all mental stuff, too. And it's been officially marked in my file that I have Borderline Personality Disorder. And then he explained to me that practically everything else that I was suffering from mentally was a side effect of the big thing. So now I've been pitched into the looney bin.

It doesn't make it easy when you're family thinks you're nuts and your friends think you're lazy and just not caring. It makes it seem like they don't care. Which, honestly, they aren't even close to understanding and they have said before that they don't care to think about what they can't understand. So, they mustn't care much about me.

It's funny how a piece of paper can make everything so much more real. I would have never thought I'd see the day where I was labeled "medically disabled." I thought I'd be dead before that could happen. And now, at just 20, that's officially what I've been called


----------



## calauria

CarlaSixx said:


> Well... it's happened.
> 
> I've now been medically labeled "unfit to work for medical reasons." And I was told it would be so for at least a year, and after a second assessment in 6 months from now, if there really isn't any improvement on the mental side as well as the physical, I will be put as permanently unemployable and will be on disability. Right now my family doctor is leaving the disability label up to my shrink because that's what's affecting me the most.
> 
> He marked down that I cannot work because of low energy/stamina, can't sit for too long, can't stand for over an hour, no walking, etc. And marked down all mental stuff, too. And it's been officially marked in my file that I have Borderline Personality Disorder. And then he explained to me that practically everything else that I was suffering from mentally was a side effect of the big thing. So now I've been pitched into the looney bin.
> 
> It doesn't make it easy when you're family thinks you're nuts and your friends think you're lazy and just not caring. It makes it seem like they don't care. Which, honestly, they aren't even close to understanding and they have said before that they don't care to think about what they can't understand. So, they mustn't care much about me.
> 
> It's funny how a piece of paper can make everything so much more real. I would have never thought I'd see the day where I was labeled "medically disabled." I thought I'd be dead before that could happen. And now, at just 20, that's officially what I've been called



I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Maybe you can get a second opinion? *hugs*


----------



## spiritangel

CarlaSixx said:


> Well... it's happened.
> 
> I've now been medically labeled "unfit to work for medical reasons." And I was told it would be so for at least a year, and after a second assessment in 6 months from now, if there really isn't any improvement on the mental side as well as the physical, I will be put as permanently unemployable and will be on disability. Right now my family doctor is leaving the disability label up to my shrink because that's what's affecting me the most.
> 
> He marked down that I cannot work because of low energy/stamina, can't sit for too long, can't stand for over an hour, no walking, etc. And marked down all mental stuff, too. And it's been officially marked in my file that I have Borderline Personality Disorder. And then he explained to me that practically everything else that I was suffering from mentally was a side effect of the big thing. So now I've been pitched into the looney bin.
> 
> It doesn't make it easy when you're family thinks you're nuts and your friends think you're lazy and just not caring. It makes it seem like they don't care. Which, honestly, they aren't even close to understanding and they have said before that they don't care to think about what they can't understand. So, they mustn't care much about me.
> 
> It's funny how a piece of paper can make everything so much more real. I would have never thought I'd see the day where I was labeled "medically disabled." I thought I'd be dead before that could happen. And now, at just 20, that's officially what I've been called




Hugs Carla that is truly sucky and drawing the short straw, I understand how you feel as even seeing how sick I can get at times both my exes ended up telling me they thought I was just lazy 

it sux, you are none of the above I think your awesome and amazing, I loved your film clip you have a real talent for it. Big hugs


----------



## aocutiepi

CarlaSixx said:


> Well... it's happened.
> 
> I've now been medically labeled "unfit to work for medical reasons." And I was told it would be so for at least a year, and after a second assessment in 6 months from now, if there really isn't any improvement on the mental side as well as the physical, I will be put as permanently unemployable and will be on disability. Right now my family doctor is leaving the disability label up to my shrink because that's what's affecting me the most.
> 
> He marked down that I cannot work because of low energy/stamina, can't sit for too long, can't stand for over an hour, no walking, etc. And marked down all mental stuff, too. And it's been officially marked in my file that I have Borderline Personality Disorder. And then he explained to me that practically everything else that I was suffering from mentally was a side effect of the big thing. So now I've been pitched into the looney bin.
> 
> It doesn't make it easy when you're family thinks you're nuts and your friends think you're lazy and just not caring. It makes it seem like they don't care. Which, honestly, they aren't even close to understanding and they have said before that they don't care to think about what they can't understand. So, they mustn't care much about me.
> 
> It's funny how a piece of paper can make everything so much more real. I would have never thought I'd see the day where I was labeled "medically disabled." I thought I'd be dead before that could happen. And now, at just 20, that's officially what I've been called





Oh, Carla... what a tough break. I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder as well and was in a treatment facility twice last year. I'm thankfully doing better but at the time it definitely seemed like a death sentence. Feel free to PM me if you want someone to talk to.

I think you are a wonderful lady and I enjoy reading your posts... try not to let unsupportive friends/family get you down. That, of course, can be easier said than done. My friends (at the time) treated me like they didn't believe that I was actually sick (they thought I was faking it) and that made me feel so alone in the world. Moving back home from college I'm rarely in contact with any of them anymore, so I guess I had that poison cut out of my life for me. It's a shame the people you're closest to don't want to make an effort to understand/care. You deserve all of that and more. I hope they come around. ::big hugs::


----------



## LovelyLiz

CarlaSixx said:


> Well... it's happened.
> 
> I've now been medically labeled "unfit to work for medical reasons." And I was told it would be so for at least a year, and after a second assessment in 6 months from now, if there really isn't any improvement on the mental side as well as the physical, I will be put as permanently unemployable and will be on disability. Right now my family doctor is leaving the disability label up to my shrink because that's what's affecting me the most.
> 
> He marked down that I cannot work because of low energy/stamina, can't sit for too long, can't stand for over an hour, no walking, etc. And marked down all mental stuff, too. And it's been officially marked in my file that I have Borderline Personality Disorder. And then he explained to me that practically everything else that I was suffering from mentally was a side effect of the big thing. So now I've been pitched into the looney bin.
> 
> It doesn't make it easy when you're family thinks you're nuts and your friends think you're lazy and just not caring. It makes it seem like they don't care. Which, honestly, they aren't even close to understanding and they have said before that they don't care to think about what they can't understand. So, they mustn't care much about me.
> 
> It's funny how a piece of paper can make everything so much more real. I would have never thought I'd see the day where I was labeled "medically disabled." I thought I'd be dead before that could happen. And now, at just 20, that's officially what I've been called



That sounds really rough, Carla - and such tough stuff to have to face so young too. Truly sucks, I'm sorry. I have a question, tho - do you agree with the diagnosis, or not? Like, is the issue that it sucks to be medically disabled and you're coming to terms with that, or is the issue that you don't think it's really the right diagnosis? I wasn't quite sure from what you posted. Either way, I wish you all the best.


----------



## CarlaSixx

The issue is having to come to terms with it being medically diagnosed. I know it's the right diagnosis from what I've been told and read. My doc reccommended some books for me to read about BPD before giving the official diagnosis of it. It matches pretty much all of my behaviour perfectly. I may not act out on the same level as others do, because it's so variant when it's a mental disorder, but I do have pretty much all of the "symptoms" of it. 

I had been hospitalized before, last year, and that's one of the things that was brought up. I wasn't in there for BPD, but things that actually aggravate it, instead. Now I'm afraid they're going to shove me back in there. A mental ward is such a horrible place to be, especially at my local hospital. The way they treat the patients is so cruel. Even a normal and completely sane person would be able to tell as much. It's no wonder people lash out at the workers and such. They mistreat them so much! I wasn't even allowed anything to keep me sane for the most part of the day. I was left to either sit by the window watching cars go by or stare at my ceiling. No books, no decent visual stimulation, no writing, no music, no walking in the corridors. Just sit, stay put, and think. Alone. I definitely went more nuts in there than I ever could out in the world. And I don't doubt for a second that it's the case for everyone else that gets put in that ward.

I'm just afraid of what they're going to do to me now that it's official. I have more reason than ever to be afraid of doctors and hate hospitals.

I'm "medically disabled" because of the mental health side of my overall health. I'm unfit to work because of mainly the physical, though the mental health side does play a role in it, too. It just sucks to be labeled "disabled" for any reason.


----------



## Jes

A diagnosis is not a death sentence. And many, many people are diagnosed with mental illness, especially Borderline Personality Disorder. I don't know what your physical limitations are but I do know that serious therapy and intentional thought and action on your part can do amazing things. Maybe you can use this diagnosis, which seems to have really saddened you, as a stepping stone. Don't give up on living a life of work, physical activity and relationships. Ever. And certainly not at 20 years old.


----------



## CarlaSixx

I'm on a waiting list for therapy, but I do know they'll be putting me in Intense Outpatient Treatment which I was part of before, but I missed one appointment and the hospital completely closed off my file. I've been referred (god, I think I always spell that wrong) to the same therapist as before, so he will know where I was at. It's kind of hard to speak to him or listen to him, though, lol. He looks like Robin Williams, eyes and all, and since he's got a foreign accent, it makes me think my therapist is RW imitating a foreign accent, lol. It seriously makes it hard to keep a straight face when looking him in the eye! 

I pretty much *have to* give up on the relationship part. I live in a very small city and no one here is really fat friendly, and since travelling is damn near impossible, I have no options. And everyone is sick of hearing me say that, but everyone knows it's true.

But other than relationships, I don't think there's much to give up on. It's more waiting for the right chance to open up.


----------



## *Ravenous*

IC that I hate being a 23 year old SINGLE parent and let me make it clear that I dont hate being a parent I love my son to death I just hate the fact that his father lives 10miles away from us and doesnt help me do s*ht with him he rarely sees him and he just doesnt care...I feel like I let my son down so much...I breakdown from time to time cause I try to do so many things to make things better for us but it doesnt seem like enough...I was raised in a single parent household so I know the struggles that go on but I never would of thought I would be in the same position...


----------



## BBW4Chattery

I confess I accidentally shattered a CFL with my hand and am now too paranoid to go back in the room where it broke. 

I confess I worry my cats will die because of my stupidity. 

I confess I will likely seal off the room and not enter it for a few days other than to retrieve my phone.

I confess that room is my bedroom, so, you know... couch... here I come.

I confess I don't give a flip about the environment right now; I'm going back to regular light bulbs until I can afford LED bulbs.

Anyone want my CFL's?


----------



## CarlaSixx

BBW4Chattery said:


> I confess I accidentally shattered a CFL with my hand and am now too paranoid to go back in the room where it broke.
> Anyone want my CFL's?



IC I don't know what a CFL is.

I just know it as "Canadian Football League" lmao.


----------



## littlefairywren

BBW4Chattery said:


> I confess I accidentally shattered a CFL with my hand and am now too paranoid to go back in the room where it broke.
> 
> I confess I worry my cats will die because of my stupidity.
> 
> I confess I will likely seal off the room and not enter it for a few days other than to retrieve my phone.
> 
> I confess that room is my bedroom, so, you know... couch... here I come.
> 
> I confess I don't give a flip about the environment right now; I'm going back to regular light bulbs until I can afford LED bulbs.
> 
> Anyone want my CFL's?



When you finally do make your way back into your bedroom, just wear disposable gloves, and some kind of protective clothing and sweep up the broken globe to prevent toxic dust from spreading through the home. I would be tempted to vacuum, but the particles would probably spread further unless you happen to have a bagless vac. 

Better to be safe than sorry.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

CarlaSixx said:


> The issue is having to come to terms with it being medically diagnosed. I know it's the right diagnosis from what I've been told and read. My doc reccommended some books for me to read about BPD before giving the official diagnosis of it. It matches pretty much all of my behaviour perfectly. I may not act out on the same level as others do, because it's so variant when it's a mental disorder, but I do have pretty much all of the "symptoms" of it.





Jes said:


> A diagnosis is not a death sentence. And many, many people are diagnosed with mental illness, especially Borderline Personality Disorder.



For the record, borderline personality disorder is not a mental disorder. It's a personality disorder, which is very different and harder to diagnose. My mother has it, although she doesn't agree that she does and has never gotten treatment for it. I also know that it's a diagnosis given to a lot of women and it's not necessarily accurate. I always think a second opinion is helpful when it comes to BPD.

That said, I'm sorry to hear about the disability diagnosis, Carla. If you trust your doctor's diagnosis of BPD, the best thing you can do is get treatment. But if you're having trouble being comfortable with your therapist, you can always ask for another one. One of the most important parts of the therapeutic relationship is being comfortable with, respecting and trusting your therapist. If any of those things are missing, the therapeutic relationship won't be as strong and the therapy won't work as well. I'd see if you can request another one, because having a therapist who looks like Robin Williams would seriously weird me out, too. I once saw a doctor who looked like John Cleese and I kept expecting him to break into the Minister of Silly Walks at any moment. It was very distracting, especially when just looking at him made me want giggle. I couldn't concentrate on anything he said.


----------



## littlefairywren

CarlaSixx said:


> Well... it's happened.
> 
> I've now been medically labeled "unfit to work for medical reasons." And I was told it would be so for at least a year, and after a second assessment in 6 months from now, if there really isn't any improvement on the mental side as well as the physical, I will be put as permanently unemployable and will be on disability. Right now my family doctor is leaving the disability label up to my shrink because that's what's affecting me the most.
> 
> He marked down that I cannot work because of low energy/stamina, can't sit for too long, can't stand for over an hour, no walking, etc. And marked down all mental stuff, too. And it's been officially marked in my file that I have Borderline Personality Disorder. And then he explained to me that practically everything else that I was suffering from mentally was a side effect of the big thing. So now I've been pitched into the looney bin.
> 
> It doesn't make it easy when you're family thinks you're nuts and your friends think you're lazy and just not caring. It makes it seem like they don't care. Which, honestly, they aren't even close to understanding and they have said before that they don't care to think about what they can't understand. So, they mustn't care much about me.
> 
> It's funny how a piece of paper can make everything so much more real. I would have never thought I'd see the day where I was labeled "medically disabled." I thought I'd be dead before that could happen. And now, at just 20, that's officially what I've been called



Carla, I am sorry that you have so much to deal with in your life. Hugs!


----------



## BBW4Chattery

littlefairywren said:


> When you finally do make your way back into your bedroom, just wear disposable gloves, and some kind of protective clothing and sweep up the broken globe to prevent toxic dust from spreading through the home. I would be tempted to vacuum, but the particles would probably spread further unless you happen to have a bagless vac.
> 
> Better to be safe than sorry.



Thank you so much!! I have went in there a few times to grab my phone and close the window when it started to storm. I think I will deal with it tomorrow. I need to finish some paperwork tonight.

thanks again for the info about it. It's funny how the tiniest things can end up being so stressful for me sometimes. Bleh.


----------



## BBW4Chattery

CarlaSixx said:


> I'm on a waiting list for therapy, but I do know they'll be putting me in Intense Outpatient Treatment which I was part of before, but I missed one appointment and the hospital completely closed off my file. I've been referred (god, I think I always spell that wrong) to the same therapist as before, so he will know where I was at. It's kind of hard to speak to him or listen to him, though, lol. He looks like Robin Williams, eyes and all, and since he's got a foreign accent, it makes me think my therapist is RW imitating a foreign accent, lol. It seriously makes it hard to keep a straight face when looking him in the eye!
> 
> I pretty much *have to* give up on the relationship part. I live in a very small city and no one here is really fat friendly, and since travelling is damn near impossible, I have no options. And everyone is sick of hearing me say that, but everyone knows it's true.
> 
> But other than relationships, I don't think there's much to give up on. It's more waiting for the right chance to open up.



Hi Carla, good luck with your treatment. If they happen to be doing dialectical behavioral therapy... you should know that's a wonderful, wonderful curriculum and it has tremendous success in symptom improvement of borderline conditions and traits.... or really any emotion dysregulation issues.

Also, stay strong about the relationship... that's a tricky thing for a lot of us! I'm in a similarly sinking boat.


----------



## calauria

*Ravenous* said:


> IC that I hate being a 23 year old SINGLE parent and let me make it clear that I dont hate being a parent I love my son to death I just hate the fact that his father lives 10miles away from us and doesnt help me do s*ht with him he rarely sees him and he just doesnt care...I feel like I let my son down so much...I breakdown from time to time cause I try to do so many things to make things better for us but it doesnt seem like enough...I was raised in a single parent household so I know the struggles that go on but I never would of thought I would be in the same position...



I feel you dear. I'm a single parent, also of two autistic kids and it is very hard. I used to feel like I let my children down, because the father isn't around, either, because he is way too violent, how could I pick an abusive man to be the father of my children. But, then I began to think, "Well, damn it, I couldn't make a relationship work by myself, he's sorry ass had to work with me!" So, it is the father's damn fault that he is not seeing his child. HE IS THE ONE LETTING YOUR SON DOWN, NOT YOU!! *hugs*


----------



## calauria

I C that I am right now getting my major flirt on with my secret crushes via PM!!


----------



## Tau

*Ravenous* said:


> IC that I hate being a 23 year old SINGLE parent and let me make it clear that I dont hate being a parent I love my son to death I just hate the fact that his father lives 10miles away from us and doesnt help me do s*ht with him he rarely sees him and he just doesnt care...I feel like I let my son down so much...I breakdown from time to time cause I try to do so many things to make things better for us but it doesnt seem like enough...I was raised in a single parent household so I know the struggles that go on but I never would of thought I would be in the same position...



Hey Ravenous - just sending you love and so many hugz. My sister was a single parent. She had my niece when she was 25 and in her 4th of medicine. The baby was premature and unwanted - it hurts me sooo badly to write that cos I was one of those who didn't want her and now she is the centre of my universe. We helped and supported her all we could but when you're a mom that baby is looking to you so, even though it wasn't me I know what that fear and disappointment feels like cos I've been close enough to taste it just a little. Things will get better - they always, always do. Please try to enjoy your boy - my sis says the one thing she regrets the most is that she doesn't remember how adorable my niece was. She looks back on that time and mostly remembers exhaustion and fear and pain and abandonment so even though its a really hard time please try to hold on to the gift and the miracle that your boy is.


----------



## LovelyLiz

*Ravenous* said:


> IC that I hate being a 23 year old SINGLE parent and let me make it clear that I dont hate being a parent I love my son to death I just hate the fact that his father lives 10miles away from us and doesnt help me do s*ht with him he rarely sees him and he just doesnt care...I feel like I let my son down so much...I breakdown from time to time cause I try to do so many things to make things better for us but it doesnt seem like enough...I was raised in a single parent household so I know the struggles that go on but I never would of thought I would be in the same position...



Props to you for doing what you can and working hard, Ravenous. It's so not easy - not for the single parent, not for the single kid. A tough situation all around. I grew up with a single mom too (starting when I was in about 7th grade). Do you have other family members who can support you and give you breaks from time to time? or any other kind of community like friends, or church, or anything who are able to help? I definitely agree with that sentiment that it takes a village to raise a child. Sorry you're struggling right now, and I hope you're able to find some others to help.


----------



## curveyme

IC that this "virtual" world can be more therapeutic and nurturing than the real one sometimes. Best wishes to everyone struggling *big girl HUGS*


----------



## Punkin1024

It has been a "hormonal" kinda day (week actually) for me. Lots of changes going on at work and when I came home this evening, hubby had taken up the carpet in the bedroom and everything was out of place. Of course, he's been saying he would do this soon, but I had no idea today was the day. I just wasn't in the right frame of mind to handle this, so I closed myself up in the computer/library/slash office and stayed on the computer all evening. I also consumed 3 fudgesicles (chocolate is my "drug" of choice). Still a bit touchy, but I gotta get to bed soon.


----------



## Britty

I confess that I have never felt more attractive in my entire life than the past few days on Dims.


----------



## calauria

Britty said:


> I confess that I have never felt more attractive in my entire life than the past few days on Dims.



That's because you are very attractive my dear!! It's about time you finally saw how you really look!!:wubu:


----------



## Britty

calauria said:


> That's because you are very attractive my dear!! It's about time you finally saw how you really look!!:wubu:



Thank you so much! I think you're stunning!:bow:


----------



## calauria

Britty said:


> Thank you so much! I think you're stunning!:bow:



Thank you, I'm flattered.:blush:


----------



## Lovelyone

I confess that my self esteem got a big big boost in Vegas from some unexpected polite comments. Made me smile (which feels unnatural for me) I liked that feeling and I think I will go with it.


----------



## CastingPearls

BBW4Chattery said:


> Thank you so much!! I have went in there a few times to grab my phone and close the window when it started to storm. I think I will deal with it tomorrow. I need to finish some paperwork tonight.
> 
> thanks again for the info about it. It's funny how the tiniest things can end up being so stressful for me sometimes. Bleh.


Um.....I'm pretty sure vacuuming them up are a serious no-no, as in spreading it around even more.....I'd google the cleaning instructions up for you if not for a serious headache but maybe look it up first before you plug that vac in!!!


----------



## Punkin1024

I hope today (Friday) was the end of my "bad stuff" week. I got in my car this a.m. to drive to work and it wouldn't start.  Called hubby, he was in Abilene, so he called a cousin. Cousin came over, my car was parked in such a way that there was no getting jumper cables to my dead battery. Meanwhile, hubby arrives, takes me to his office in our little town, and his boss drives me to work. Hubby lost time too. He finally got the battery charged, drove car to Sam's and puttered around for 30 minutes only to find that they didn't carry the battery for my Ford Focus. Turns out that Ford "fixed" it so you'd have to order/get the battery from them. They don't know my hubby, he drove to Interstate Battery and they "ahem" fit a battery in the car.  Now we're out the cost of the battery AND getting the state license sticker renewed (we were a month behind and only noticed it last weekend  ). Still have the inspection sticker to go.

Which is why I'm so happy that I'm going to the Mall tomorrow to listen to a friend's daughter try out for a spot in American Idol. The winner tomorrow will get an all-expense-paid trip to Austin for the BIG finals next month. And then on the 7th of August, I get to meet fellow Dimmers in the Dallas Fiesta get-together. If you are interested, get the info in the Events - South forum.

:happy:


----------



## Weeze

So, I need to confess that I *love* reading posts here, and on facebook about other girls going FUCK IT and throwing temper tantrums, or getting upset about dumb crap JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN.... It makes me feel so much more normal


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I really want to create a BBW event in my city but I have no idea how. I have zero coordinating/planning/organizing skills and so I have already flopped just thinking about hosting one, lol. 

Still... I'd really like for one to be around here, even though it's quite a distance away from big cities (TO is 4.5 hrs away, Ott&MO is 1hr) but I guess it's more for personal reasons than anything else, lol.


----------



## calauria

Yeah, how would you go about getting a BBW event together?


----------



## spiritangel

First find a venue to start your costings, find a great time of year, theme ect

Decide what events you want to have

How many people need to attend, how much per person is needed to cover all expenses, 
chat to local hotels to see if you can get a bulk group discoun

umm well they are the places I would start then next on the list would be advertising it and creating awareness, setting a date when deposits have to be paid by, ect or you could have a set lot of fees say a premiumm one that includes tickets to all events ata discounted rate, then lesser packages ect 

just some ideas


----------



## ashmamma84

IC while at the grocery I had an odd thing happen to me. At checkout, the cashier was nice, smiled and proceeded to ring my groceries. Nothing odd about that. So, then she starts in about how healthy I eat and that for a woman of my size that's such a good thing (cuz I'se a good fatty!!!!    )and once she rang my ice cream and creme brulee, she says, "Oops. I take back what I said. Not _that_ healthy." Uh...say what, bitch? When has ringing up/bagging groceries given anyone the right to comment on what someone is buying. I don't give a damn if I had nothing but a cart of cakes and cookies - it's not your mutha effin' place to make comments!  

I don't know what it is with some people. Now if I had been cut from a classless, ignorant cloth I would have stooped to her level and ripped her a new one. Instead, I got her name and complained to the manager on duty. Un-be-freaking-lievable!  And she was a fat chick too! Insult, meet injury.


----------



## Carrie

ashmamma84 said:


> IC while at the grocery I had an odd thing happen to me. At checkout, the cashier was nice, smiled and proceeded to ring my groceries. Nothing odd about that. So, then she starts in about how healthy I eat and that for a woman of my size that's such a good thing (cuz I'se a good fatty!!!!    )and once she rang my ice cream and creme brulee, she says, "Oops. I take back what I said. Not _that_ healthy." Uh...say what, bitch? When has ringing up/bagging groceries given anyone the right to comment on what someone is buying. I don't give a damn if I had nothing but a cart of cakes and cookies - it's not your mutha effin' place to make comments!
> 
> I don't know what it is with some people. Now if I had been cut from a classless, ignorant cloth I would have stooped to her level and ripped her a new one. Instead, I got her name and complained to the manager on duty. Un-be-freaking-lievable!  And she was a fat chick too! Insult, meet injury.


Ugh. This is SUCH a pet peeve of mine. It feels so incredibly invasive. I don't care if they say something like, "oh, I love that kind of ice cream!", but when they start assigning and verbalizing value judgments to my food choices, that crosses a line. I'm sorry that happened to you, lovely, and yay! you for talking to the manager about it.


----------



## LovelyLiz

ashmamma84 said:


> IC while at the grocery I had an odd thing happen to me. At checkout, the cashier was nice, smiled and proceeded to ring my groceries. Nothing odd about that. So, then she starts in about how healthy I eat and that for a woman of my size that's such a good thing (cuz I'se a good fatty!!!!    )and once she rang my ice cream and creme brulee, she says, "Oops. I take back what I said. Not _that_ healthy." Uh...say what, bitch? When has ringing up/bagging groceries given anyone the right to comment on what someone is buying. I don't give a damn if I had nothing but a cart of cakes and cookies - it's not your mutha effin' place to make comments!
> 
> I don't know what it is with some people. Now if I had been cut from a classless, ignorant cloth I would have stooped to her level and ripped her a new one. Instead, I got her name and complained to the manager on duty. Un-be-freaking-lievable!  And she was a fat chick too! Insult, meet injury.



Dang, sorry you had this experience, ash - but I agree with Carrie, you handled it in a super classy and effective way. Hopefully your pro-active action will keep something like that from happening again (to anyone, fat or thin) to someone who will be hurt by it. 
That's definitely happened to me before too, never in the negative way, but in the positive way. Like, Her: "You're buying grapefruit! Good for you! I'm trying to get back on my diet." Me: "I'm not on a diet, I just like grapefruit and trying to eat healthy." (And not in a bitchy way, I usually will even make a joke or smile or something.) If the negative thing happened tho, now at least I know a good way to respond. Thanks for sharing your experience!


----------



## AnnMarie

AGREE. 

It's not okay to say what " good job " I'm doing either - say nothing. Like Carrie, I don't mind if you're like "hey, are those crackers good??" or "oh yeah, I love those chips" or something, but beyond that, don't you DARE judge my purchases. You don't know me or my life or what the hell I'm even shopping for. Keep your mouth shut, scan shit, tell me my total and we'll all move on with our lives.


----------



## mszwebs

I confess I feel like I'm living in an Eminem relationship song, without the whole getting my ass beat and or tied to a bed as the whole house burns down part.



I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight...


----------



## Carrie

AnnMarie said:


> AGREE.
> 
> It's not okay to say what " good job " I'm doing either - say nothing. Like Carrie, I don't mind if you're like "hey, are those crackers good??" or "oh yeah, I love those chips" or something, but beyond that, don't you DARE judge my purchases. You don't know me or my life or what the hell I'm even shopping for. Keep your mouth shut, scan shit, tell me my total and we'll all move on with our lives.


Can I just say, a few months ago I saw a feature on TV about these grocery stores where the entrance/exit area is equipped with scanners that somehow automatically scan the UPC codes on everything in your cart as you exit the building and then just charge the total to the debit or credit card they have on file for you. No standing in line, no price checks on Tampax, no dealing with nosy parker checkers. Just scan your shit, charge your card, have a nice day. I was so excited, I might have whimpered.


----------



## CarlaSixx

I'm presently dyeing my hair a solid purple. I got SO sick of seeing the blonde that the change is very welcome  

As for the event planning... it's way too much for me to do, lol.


----------



## aocutiepi

Britty said:


> I confess that I have never felt more attractive in my entire life than the past few days on Dims.



You are certainly beautiful, lovey. *squishy hugs* Dims makes me feel attractive too. It's so foreign to me!


----------



## aocutiepi

Lovelyone said:


> I confess that my self esteem got a big big boost in Vegas from some unexpected polite comments. Made me smile (which feels unnatural for me) I liked that feeling and I think I will go with it.



So awesome. Definitely go with it!



ashmamma84 said:


> IC while at the grocery I had an odd thing happen to me. At checkout, the cashier was nice, smiled and proceeded to ring my groceries. Nothing odd about that. So, then she starts in about how healthy I eat and that for a woman of my size that's such a good thing (cuz I'se a good fatty!!!!    )and once she rang my ice cream and creme brulee, she says, "Oops. I take back what I said. Not _that_ healthy." Uh...say what, bitch? When has ringing up/bagging groceries given anyone the right to comment on what someone is buying. I don't give a damn if I had nothing but a cart of cakes and cookies - it's not your mutha effin' place to make comments!



So glad you went the classy route. I've been kind of a smartass lately and I might not have been so classy myself.  This is why when I go shopping I try to use the U-Scan lane. Less chance of nosy ass bitches making faces just because I got some Oreos. Not all grocers have them, but I love that my Kroger does.



CarlaSixx said:


> I'm presently dyeing my hair a solid purple. I got SO sick of seeing the blonde that the change is very welcome



PICS!!! I've always wanted to dye my hair some crazy-not-found-in-nature color. I'm such a wimp though.


----------



## CarlaSixx

aocutiepi said:


> PICS!!! I've always wanted to dye my hair some crazy-not-found-in-nature color. I'm such a wimp though.



I will most definitely have pics  I had to bleach my roots first, and I'm leaving the colour to tomorrow because I need to leave it in for hours at a time. I might put fishbowl blue streaks inside of it, too, like a highlight. But that's only if I can figure out how, lol.

I see my hair as, well, just hair. I've done way too many wild things with it that I would be up for trying anything. I've had orange, green, blue, red, yellow, blonde, brown hair. As well as maaaany different styles. My mother thinks I'm nuts because I'm not like a typical female who is so attached to their hair. You can shave off all my hair and I won't really care, lol. I'm that odd, I guess. 

But colours... that's my thing! lol. I wanna taste the rainbow when it comes to hair, and I think I've only got 2 colours that are possible that I haven't yet tried out. So I'm almost there


----------



## Fallenangel2904

mszwebs said:


> I confess I feel like I'm living in an Eminem relationship song, without the whole getting my ass beat and or tied to a bed as the whole house burns down part.
> 
> 
> 
> I can't tell you what it really is
> I can only tell you what it feels like
> And right now there's a steel knife
> In my windpipe
> I can't breathe
> But I still fight
> While I can fight...



I pretty much could have wrote this myself ::hugs:: That song is a killer for me- reminds me so much of me and my ex and the crazy ass relationship we have. I'm sorry for what your going through!!


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC that even though she is having issues using the litterbox, I adore Guenevere.


----------



## Tau

mszwebs said:


> I confess I feel like I'm living in an Eminem relationship song, without the whole getting my ass beat and or tied to a bed as the whole house burns down part.
> 
> 
> 
> I can't tell you what it really is
> I can only tell you what it feels like
> And right now there's a steel knife
> In my windpipe
> I can't breathe
> But I still fight
> While I can fight...



Are you ok chick??  I love that track and in theory am crazy about dysfunctional love affaires but after burying 3 friends who were murdered by boyfriends who didn't beat them, or tie them up or burn their houses down - just made them unhappy and scared and fought all the time - I just wanted to say here that I really hope you're playing safe. You're too awesome to get hurt over some dudes crazy drama. I don't know anything - and I'm not asking you to share any further - I just got a little scared reading your post and I want to make sure you're going to be ok? *huuuuugz*


----------



## Tau

Everything on my external hard drive is gone. Just gone. I don't know what happened. Some of the pictures and short stories I'd saved on there I don't have anywhere else - they are not things I can easily recreate again. They're gone forever. Feeling on the verge of hysteria. What a shit end to an amazing week.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Tau said:


> Everything on my external hard drive is gone. Just gone. I don't know what happened. Some of the pictures and short stories I'd saved on there I don't have anywhere else - they are not things I can easily recreate again. They're gone forever. Feeling on the verge of hysteria. What a shit end to an amazing week.


 
Oh Crap! Noooo! Do you have any techy friends that you can take the drive to to look at? Sometimes they can get to (and hopefully) salvage the data even if they can't fix the drive itself. It's worth the cost of consultation if nothing else.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Tau said:


> Everything on my external hard drive is gone. Just gone. I don't know what happened. Some of the pictures and short stories I'd saved on there I don't have anywhere else - they are not things I can easily recreate again. They're gone forever. Feeling on the verge of hysteria. What a shit end to an amazing week.



(((hugs))) I know how this feels. I lost eveyrthing about 2 years ago.


----------



## *Ravenous*

mcbeth said:


> Props to you for doing what you can and working hard, Ravenous. It's so not easy - not for the single parent, not for the single kid. A tough situation all around. I grew up with a single mom too (starting when I was in about 7th grade). Do you have other family members who can support you and give you breaks from time to time? or any other kind of community like friends, or church, or anything who are able to help? I definitely agree with that sentiment that it takes a village to raise a child. Sorry you're struggling right now, and I hope you're able to find some others to help.



well theres just my mom and my younger brother and I have mainly my mom but sometimes I dont even ask really just cause of the relationship her and I have its a little tension between each other


----------



## BBW4Chattery

Tau said:


> Everything on my external hard drive is gone. Just gone. I don't know what happened. Some of the pictures and short stories I'd saved on there I don't have anywhere else - they are not things I can easily recreate again. They're gone forever. Feeling on the verge of hysteria. What a shit end to an amazing week.



Sending hugs. This has happened to me on FIVE separate occasions. I have no photos from 2003-2007 because of the failures. I lost my 60 page thesis a week before it was due. Thousands of dollars in music purchases. Ugh.

Sending biggest hugs and best wishes. I know how badly it sucks.


----------



## Lovelyone

I confess that I watched The Notebook today for the umpteenth time again and cried. Don't know why I cry. I've seen the thing a million times, know the lines by heart and know what's coming...but I cry, just the same.


----------



## littlefairywren

Tau said:


> Everything on my external hard drive is gone. Just gone. I don't know what happened. Some of the pictures and short stories I'd saved on there I don't have anywhere else - they are not things I can easily recreate again. They're gone forever. Feeling on the verge of hysteria. What a shit end to an amazing week.



I really hope someone can retrieve your info, Tau. I lost a lot of my stuff over 3 years ago (music, graphics, study work), and had to start from scratch again. Now I have more than one external hd, and I also use thumb drives as an extra precaution. Hugs, hon!


----------



## BBW4Chattery

Lovelyone said:


> I confess that I watched The Notebook today for the umpteenth time again and cried. Don't know why I cry. I've seen the thing a million times, know the lines by heart and know what's coming...but I cry, just the same.



I confess that I've never seen The Notebook... and probably won't ever see it... because I don't want to cry. 

Hope you are feeling better by now.


----------



## calauria

I C that I've never watched The Notebook, either. I really don't like romance movies. They are so cheesy and so not the reality for a majority of people. I kinda think they make us believe in things that don't exist or am I just being pessimistic?


----------



## AnnMarie

calauria said:


> I kinda think they make us believe in things that don't exist or am I just being pessimistic?



Like horror movies, like action adventure, like Finding Nemo, etc. It's an emotional journey, an entertaining diversion, and all in all I think it's healthy for the soul to experience different emotions of laughter, longing, desire, arousal, adrenaline, sadness, fear. The chemicals from those are things that feed our body chemistry. Plus, likelihood aside, I don't think it's a bad thing to believe in storybook romance, whatever your definition may be. It happens, maybe just not with the horseback riding into the sunset. .


----------



## Blackjack

AnnMarie said:


> It happens, maybe just not with the horseback riding into the sunset. .



I'd just like to point out here that _anything's _possible when your man smells like Old Spice.







I'm on a horse.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Blackjack said:


> I'd just like to point out here that _anything's _possible when your man smells like Old Spice.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'm on a horse.



LMAO!

.
....


----------



## spiritangel

I am hating being at my cousins had the kids in line and being quiet and good and my cousin and her guy come home and push them so they start omg when parents are out of controll kids will be der not to mention omg sooo many things and the expectation of me staying for three months if other things happen sooo not happy atm wish I would learn to not be so supportive :-(


----------



## littlefairywren

spiritangel said:


> I am hating being at my cousins had the kids in line and being quiet and good and my cousin and her guy come home and push them so they start omg when parents are out of controll kids will be der not to mention omg sooo many things and the expectation of me staying for three months if other things happen sooo not happy atm wish I would learn to not be so supportive :-(



Hon, if you don't feel like you are up to it, then you have to tell them somehow. It is not right if they are expecting you to just be there. You have your own life and obligations. You're already going stir crazy, so could you really handle it for three months?
Hugs to you!


----------



## CarlaSixx

Blackjack said:


> I'd just like to point out here that _anything's _possible when your man smells like Old Spice.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'm on a horse.



LOL!

The funniest part about this, to me, is the fact that* I* use Old Spice body wash for _myself._ Lol. And, well, I've never been told that I smell like a man, even though I use men's products.

And IC I've never watched The Notebook, either. I just hate romance stuff. The cheesiness makes me queezy. Give me an action or a drama or a comedy anyday. Chick flicks are not to be played when I'm around


----------



## Tau

Thanks for all the love ladies. The drive is totally dead - they can't save anything. IT dude says its a virus I picked up from lord knows where - it wiped the entire thing clean. Sigh. Anyway, lesson learnt. Really appreciate all the advice and good thoughts that came my way.


----------



## HappyFA75

calauria said:


> Thank you ladies for all the awesome advise and support. This is why I love you all so much and am not ashamed to share what's in my heart of hearts.:wubu:



And what would that be? ? ?


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC that I'm way to excited about the fact my kitten has used her litterbox


----------



## nettie

IC that I turned 50 today. A year ago I was married and thought I had my life on track, but then things changed and I was looking at spending this birthday alone and 600 miles away from my family. It turns out I have some pretty amazing friends. Because of them, this has been one of the best birthdays ever. Two surprise parties and a night of margaritas later, and the big 5-0 hasn't been so bad.

Except for those damned AARP ads that started showing up a few months ago.


----------



## calauria

nettie said:


> IC that I turned 50 today. A year ago I was married and thought I had my life on track, but then things changed and I was looking at spending this birthday alone and 600 miles away from my family. It turns out I have some pretty amazing friends. Because of them, this has been one of the best birthdays ever. Two surprise parties and a night of margaritas later, and the big 5-0 hasn't been so bad.
> 
> Except for those damned AARP ads that started showing up a few months ago.



Well, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Glad you had an awesome one!! *hugs*


----------



## BBW4Chattery

nettie said:


> IC that I turned 50 today. A year ago I was married and thought I had my life on track, but then things changed and I was looking at spending this birthday alone and 600 miles away from my family. It turns out I have some pretty amazing friends. Because of them, this has been one of the best birthdays ever. Two surprise parties and a night of margaritas later, and the big 5-0 hasn't been so bad.
> 
> Except for those damned AARP ads that started showing up a few months ago.



HAPPPPPPPY Birthday!

I'm glad you've had a wonderful birthday despite the challenges of the last year. Hopefully it's a sign of more great things to come your way!


----------



## calauria

I C that I need a good (you know what) to put me to sleep.


----------



## littlefairywren

nettie said:


> IC that I turned 50 today. A year ago I was married and thought I had my life on track, but then things changed and I was looking at spending this birthday alone and 600 miles away from my family. It turns out I have some pretty amazing friends. Because of them, this has been one of the best birthdays ever. Two surprise parties and a night of margaritas later, and the big 5-0 hasn't been so bad.
> 
> Except for those damned AARP ads that started showing up a few months ago.



Woo hoo! Happy Birthday to you, nettie 
Life has a way of pulling the rug from under our feet, but hopefully, sooner or later we land the right way up. Here's to happy landings!


----------



## spiritangel

Happy Birthday Nettie

LFW I havent told them but there is no way I will be here for 3 months I already have my escape plan in motion, but I did promise two weeks wich may end up 3-4 and that will def be my max, its ok when theyare not here and its just me and the kids totally different dynamic and am sure my cousin will be more attentive when the bf isnt around again bloody long story here atm I have been resting loads and taking time out today 

of course walking into the loungroom while they were doing it still makes me want to take lazers to myeyes

I mean who keeps going ffs and yeeeeewwwwwwwww
other than that and being hungry lots I am doing ok today oh and the sore hip 

I have no intention of giving up 3 months of my life at all


----------



## littlefairywren

spiritangel said:


> Happy Birthday Nettie
> 
> LFW I havent told them but there is no way I will be here for 3 months I already have my escape plan in motion, but I did promise two weeks wich may end up 3-4 and that will def be my max, its ok when theyare not here and its just me and the kids totally different dynamic and am sure my cousin will be more attentive when the bf isnt around again bloody long story here atm I have been resting loads and taking time out today
> 
> of course walking into the loungroom while they were doing it still makes me want to take lazers to myeyes
> 
> I mean who keeps going ffs and yeeeeewwwwwwwww
> other than that and being hungry lots I am doing ok today oh and the sore hip
> 
> I have no intention of giving up 3 months of my life at all



Oh hell no! I would be sooo tempted to hose them off, especially if they kept at it. Sure it is their place, but if you have a guest...take it to the bedroom lol. Not the guest, the action lol


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

nettie said:


> IC that I turned 50 today. A year ago I was married and thought I had my life on track, but then things changed and I was looking at spending this birthday alone and 600 miles away from my family. It turns out I have some pretty amazing friends. Because of them, this has been one of the best birthdays ever. Two surprise parties and a night of margaritas later, and the big 5-0 hasn't been so bad.
> 
> Except for those damned AARP ads that started showing up a few months ago.



Happy belated birthday!! I'm so glad you had a good one, and I hope this year's better than the last .



spiritangel said:


> Happy Birthday Nettie
> 
> LFW I havent told them but there is no way I will be here for 3 months I already have my escape plan in motion, but I did promise two weeks wich may end up 3-4 and that will def be my max, its ok when theyare not here and its just me and the kids totally different dynamic and am sure my cousin will be more attentive when the bf isnt around again bloody long story here atm I have been resting loads and taking time out today
> 
> of course walking into the loungroom while they were doing it still makes me want to take lazers to myeyes
> 
> I mean who keeps going ffs and yeeeeewwwwwwwww
> other than that and being hungry lots I am doing ok today oh and the sore hip
> 
> I have no intention of giving up 3 months of my life at all



Good for you!

I hope things calm down, and you don't have to laser your eyes! That would make making bears difficult.


----------



## luscious_lulu

nettie said:


> IC that I turned 50 today. A year ago I was married and thought I had my life on track, but then things changed and I was looking at spending this birthday alone and 600 miles away from my family. It turns out I have some pretty amazing friends. Because of them, this has been one of the best birthdays ever. Two surprise parties and a night of margaritas later, and the big 5-0 hasn't been so bad.
> 
> Except for those damned AARP ads that started showing up a few months ago.



(((hugs)))

Happy birthday


----------



## spiritangel

littlefairywren said:


> Oh hell no! I would be sooo tempted to hose them off, especially if they kept at it. Sure it is their place, but if you have a guest...take it to the bedroom lol. Not the guest, the action lol





well I am in their room atm and they are in the loungeroom lol but seriously could have waited the half hr it took for me to shower ect told them I would be back out to get breakfast seriously so I went and made brekky meh they ended up "going for a shower" even worse they are trying to push me together with one of rays mates yeah cause ray (ambers bf) is my dream guy NOT in this or any other lifetime lol, this guy is staying here next week too so I think other than looking after the kids I will be hiding in ambers room for the whole week


----------



## OneWickedAngel

nettie said:


> IC that I turned 50 today. A year ago I was married and thought I had my life on track, but then things changed and I was looking at spending this birthday alone and 600 miles away from my family. It turns out I have some pretty amazing friends. Because of them, this has been one of the best birthdays ever. Two surprise parties and a night of margaritas later, and the big 5-0 hasn't been so bad.
> 
> Except for those damned AARP ads that started showing up a few months ago.



Happy belated birthday Nettie! Sounds like you had a blast as it damn well should be! LOL @ the AARP.


----------



## spiritangel

IC I think I need to feel less upset/rejected/offended when people dont say hello back on things like fb chat and the like had so many people do this lately and it never feels good always leaves me wondering what I did wrong??


----------



## Tau

spiritangel said:


> IC I think I need to feel less upset/rejected/offended when people dont say hello back on things like fb chat and the like had so many people do this lately and it never feels good always leaves me wondering what I did wrong??



Hey there don't take it personally. I know my FB chat is stuffed so sometimes i get messages an hour after the person has gone or else I'll be IMing and the messages aren't going anywhere. Its just admin.


----------



## CarlaSixx

spiritangel said:


> IC I think I need to feel less upset/rejected/offended when people dont say hello back on things like fb chat and the like had so many people do this lately and it never feels good always leaves me wondering what I did wrong??



Hope I'm not part of that. I did get a msg from you but couldn't reply from my phone so I just did what you suggested in the email, lol. Hope you got it alright.


----------



## luscious_lulu

spiritangel said:


> IC I think I need to feel less upset/rejected/offended when people dont say hello back on things like fb chat and the like had so many people do this lately and it never feels good always leaves me wondering what I did wrong??



I have mine turned off so I don't get any messages. Maybe others do the same?


----------



## CarlaSixx

Glad you had a great birthday, Nettie! Hope it means this year will beat last  Enjoy it!

---

IC I'm really happy for my friend to have come to find a new partner that is more like the man he dreamed of marrying than any other person he's dated. He met up with the guy at 6 last night and didn't get back home until 6am this morning. This was their 3rd date and they haven't gotten bizzy yet. They spent the time talking mainly, and that's pretty damn amazing! So I'm hoping all goes well for him.

Except there's the fact that they, and other friends, want me to go with them to their favourite bar. And while I do have fun when I go, it's a gay bar and so I still feel kinda left out. No one hits on me, and my friends leave me all alone a few times a night for at least 10 minutes at a time. It really bothers me. And when I ask them to go to places that *I* feel more comfortable in, they never do. It's rare to find a place I like, and I never get to go.


----------



## calauria

CarlaSixx said:


> Glad you had a great birthday, Nettie! Hope it means this year will beat last  Enjoy it!
> 
> ---
> 
> IC I'm really happy for my friend to have come to find a new partner that is more like the man he dreamed of marrying than any other person he's dated. He met up with the guy at 6 last night and didn't get back home until 6am this morning. This was their 3rd date and they haven't gotten bizzy yet. They spent the time talking mainly, and that's pretty damn amazing! So I'm hoping all goes well for him.
> 
> Except there's the fact that they, and other friends, want me to go with them to their favourite bar. And while I do have fun when I go, it's a gay bar and so I still feel kinda left out. No one hits on me, and my friends leave me all alone a few times a night for at least 10 minutes at a time. It really bothers me. And when I ask them to go to places that *I* feel more comfortable in, they never do. It's rare to find a place I like, and I never get to go.



You need to come to South Florida. You would have a blast!!


----------



## aocutiepi

nettie said:


> IC that I turned 50 today. A year ago I was married and thought I had my life on track, but then things changed and I was looking at spending this birthday alone and 600 miles away from my family. It turns out I have some pretty amazing friends. Because of them, this has been one of the best birthdays ever. Two surprise parties and a night of margaritas later, and the big 5-0 hasn't been so bad.
> 
> Except for those damned AARP ads that started showing up a few months ago.



Happy birthday! I'm glad you've had a great one. Friends can get you through just about anything so I'm glad you have good ones!



spiritangel said:


> IC I think I need to feel less upset/rejected/offended when people dont say hello back on things like fb chat and the like had so many people do this lately and it never feels good always leaves me wondering what I did wrong??



My old computer used to completely lock up anytime someone sent me a Facebook IM. I would always get them when I signed on again, and usually tried to send apology messages/wall posts. It was so annoying I just put it on stealth so I never showed up as online. Newer, better PC and no issues. Perhaps I'm not the only person who has this problem. Although, IC I hate it when I post on someone's wall and they never respond... it makes me wonder if I accidentally did something to piss them off!


----------



## CastingPearls

spiritangel said:


> IC I think I need to feel less upset/rejected/offended when people dont say hello back on things like fb chat and the like had so many people do this lately and it never feels good always leaves me wondering what I did wrong??


Mine is turned off or Spouse is using it for something and a week later says, 'Oh, by the way someone named Amanda says HUGS. Who's Amanda?' LOL


----------



## Punkin1024

I get so many wall posts on FB, that any "real" messsages (as opposed to game app messages) get lost a lot. I've recently taken to reading my e-mail or clicking on the app updates to see if anyone posts to my status. I'm starting to send message to my friends if I really want to know how they're doing. So, don't take it as slight if someone doesn't respond to a wall post. 

My confession - I'm really down because I won't be able to make the Dallas Meet-up. Our water pump died today and it'll cost $400 to replace, so no extra funds. Sigh! I had so looked forward to this and I needed this too. Just too much junk happening lately. I really, really need a vacation.


----------



## nettie

Thanks for the birthday wishes, everyone.

I guess I should add that IC I arrived at one of my surprise parties 30 minutes late!!! I thought we were just having a casual meeting with a few friends and then got caught in a line at Target. Turns out lots of people were waiting in a garage, slowly melting from the heat and humidity. Oops. :blush:


----------



## calauria

Punkin1024 said:


> I get so many wall posts on FB, that any "real" messsages (as opposed to game app messages) get lost a lot. I've recently taken to reading my e-mail or clicking on the app updates to see if anyone posts to my status. I'm starting to send message to my friends if I really want to know how they're doing. So, don't take it as slight if someone doesn't respond to a wall post.
> 
> My confession - I'm really down because I won't be able to make the Dallas Meet-up. Our water pump died today and it'll cost $400 to replace, so no extra funds. Sigh! I had so looked forward to this and I needed this too. Just too much junk happening lately. I really, really need a vacation.



*hugs*... sorry that so much crap is going on at the same time.


----------



## LovelyLiz

nettie said:


> Thanks for the birthday wishes, everyone.
> 
> I guess I should add that IC I arrived at one of my surprise parties 30 minutes late!!! I thought we were just having a casual meeting with a few friends and then got caught in a line at Target. Turns out lots of people were waiting in a garage, slowly melting from the heat and humidity. Oops. :blush:



Well, from the posts I've read of yours, you seem awesome - so I'm sure your friends love you tremendously and were fine with the wait.  Glad you had a great birthday, and I hope this is your best decade yet!!!


----------



## BBW4Chattery

spiritangel said:


> IC I think I need to feel less upset/rejected/offended when people dont say hello back on things like fb chat and the like had so many people do this lately and it never feels good always leaves me wondering what I did wrong??



Some people are selfish and just don't like chat. That's my deal. I will actively avoid responding to people sometimes not because of them but because I just don't feel like chatting.

You probably did nothing wrong... they just aren't up for the chat OR their technology isn't keeping up and they never get the message. That's happened with me too.

I hope you feel better soon. Feeling that way sucks. 

I confess I'm ready to give up my BlackBerry, my email, my Facebook, and return to a schedule where work is work, home is home, friends are friends, and most importantly, me time is me time. I spent about 45 minutes tonight deleting 6 years worth of apps on facebook, hiding everyone else's app updates, etc. I feel less cluttered already.


----------



## spiritangel

hugs thanks peoples

today was truly the day from hell dont know why I bother to help people sometimes got yelled at in the street, accused to trying to help docs take my cousins kids (dept of community services for the americans) and left for dead in a town where I dont know my way around or anybody, thank god I know the scrap lady and scrap shop, my mobile battery was almost dead had enough to call my mum and get my uncles number and enough money to get to his house

no appology nothing just a you have no idea what is going on cause I asked a billion questions about what they want from her to stop her loosing the kids they got the kids maccas and I diddnt even get anything sigh just so over this nightmare and I am babysitting tonight taken advantage of much 

My angel of a mother has given me some money so I can get home but I promised the kids another week wtf am I sposed to do the kids always get promises broken to them sigh

am exhausted keep bawling like a baby and hate myself for caring so much about these kids

t


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

spiritangel said:


> hugs thanks peoples
> 
> today was truly the day from hell dont know why I bother to help people sometimes got yelled at in the street, accused to trying to help docs take my cousins kids (dept of community services for the americans) and left for dead in a town where I dont know my way around or anybody, thank god I know the scrap lady and scrap shop, my mobile battery was almost dead had enough to call my mum and get my uncles number and enough money to get to his house
> 
> no appology nothing just a you have no idea what is going on cause I asked a billion questions about what they want from her to stop her loosing the kids they got the kids maccas and I diddnt even get anything sigh just so over this nightmare and I am babysitting tonight taken advantage of much
> 
> My angel of a mother has given me some money so I can get home but I promised the kids another week wtf am I sposed to do the kids always get promises broken to them sigh
> 
> am exhausted keep bawling like a baby and hate myself for caring so much about these kids
> 
> t



Gigantic ((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))


----------



## littlefairywren

spiritangel said:


> hugs thanks peoples
> 
> today was truly the day from hell dont know why I bother to help people sometimes got yelled at in the street, accused to trying to help docs take my cousins kids (dept of community services for the americans) and left for dead in a town where I dont know my way around or anybody, thank god I know the scrap lady and scrap shop, my mobile battery was almost dead had enough to call my mum and get my uncles number and enough money to get to his house
> 
> no appology nothing just a you have no idea what is going on cause I asked a billion questions about what they want from her to stop her loosing the kids they got the kids maccas and I diddnt even get anything sigh just so over this nightmare and I am babysitting tonight taken advantage of much
> 
> My angel of a mother has given me some money so I can get home but I promised the kids another week wtf am I sposed to do the kids always get promises broken to them sigh
> 
> am exhausted keep bawling like a baby and hate myself for caring so much about these kids
> 
> t



Wow, that does sound like the day from hell. I am so sorry you are having such a rough time, SA. Lots of ((((hugs)))) for you and the kids.


----------



## Inhibited

spiritangel said:


> hugs thanks peoples
> 
> today was truly the day from hell dont know why I bother to help people sometimes got yelled at in the street, accused to trying to help docs take my cousins kids (dept of community services for the americans) and left for dead in a town where I dont know my way around or anybody, thank god I know the scrap lady and scrap shop, my mobile battery was almost dead had enough to call my mum and get my uncles number and enough money to get to his house
> 
> no appology nothing just a you have no idea what is going on cause I asked a billion questions about what they want from her to stop her loosing the kids they got the kids maccas and I diddnt even get anything sigh just so over this nightmare and I am babysitting tonight taken advantage of much
> 
> My angel of a mother has given me some money so I can get home but I promised the kids another week wtf am I sposed to do the kids always get promises broken to them sigh
> 
> am exhausted keep bawling like a baby and hate myself for caring so much about these kids
> 
> t



Am sorry you are going through a bad time as well.. hope things get more positive ...


----------



## spiritangel

hugs thanks everyone it gets better oh why oh why diddnt I listen to mum and just stay home?

she got a warrent for her arrest and accused me of giving the cops her phone number wtf yeah cause I would drop everything to come help her with the kids (who dont deserve to be punished for this f...ed situation) and call the cops for matters I do not fully understand? considering she is out tonight and till trow and all I know is she is newcastle way how the and what the???? yeah thats trust for you trust me with your kids but not when it comes to calling the cops what the hell have I gotten myself into thats it Miss Nice Amanda is about to go running for the freaking hills sick of being accused of stuff sigh gah stoopid promise to the kids about staying here cant let them down but about to go look at trains out of this crazy place


----------



## luscious_lulu

(((hugs)))

the poor kids don't deserve to be on that situation. Neither do you. Maybe it would be best if she lost custody of them.


----------



## spiritangel

she truly loves her kids, she has just never had anyone to learn how to be a mother from and had a pretty f...ed up teenagehood and late childhood what docs want to do is help her bridge the gap and find ways as a family they can actually get along better and have a healthier relationship and that is what I would wish for them to


----------



## calauria

spiritangel said:


> hugs thanks peoples
> 
> today was truly the day from hell dont know why I bother to help people sometimes got yelled at in the street, accused to trying to help docs take my cousins kids (dept of community services for the americans) and left for dead in a town where I dont know my way around or anybody, thank god I know the scrap lady and scrap shop, my mobile battery was almost dead had enough to call my mum and get my uncles number and enough money to get to his house
> 
> no appology nothing just a you have no idea what is going on cause I asked a billion questions about what they want from her to stop her loosing the kids they got the kids maccas and I diddnt even get anything sigh just so over this nightmare and I am babysitting tonight taken advantage of much
> 
> My angel of a mother has given me some money so I can get home but I promised the kids another week wtf am I sposed to do the kids always get promises broken to them sigh
> 
> am exhausted keep bawling like a baby and hate myself for caring so much about these kids
> 
> t



*hugs* I can definitely emphasize with caring so much about the kids when the idiot parents don't "act right", but not able to do much to help. Unfortunately, my nieces and nephews grew up to be just as shelfish and self centered as their parents. As teenagers, they have broken into my apt., stolen from me, cursed me out and talk shit about me behind my back. I'm done with them. So sorry, you have to go through the mess, but at least you tried. We can all try.....


----------



## calauria

spiritangel said:


> she truly loves her kids, she has just never had anyone to learn how to be a mother from and had a pretty f...ed up teenagehood and late childhood what docs want to do is help her bridge the gap and find ways as a family they can actually get along better and have a healthier relationship and that is what I would wish for them to



Well, maybe all of this is a blessing in disguise then. She will learn the proper tools to be an effective parent. That is if she has the right attitude and not see it as an accusation, but see it as a learning experience.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

IC that I'm damn glad my final summer paycheck is coming in the mail tomorrow. My bank account is about down to its last dollar and I was a little freaked when I didn't see my paycheck in the mail today. I called the school district and payroll told me they'd just cut me a check today, so it should be in the mail tomorrow. Whew. I've got bills to pay, dammit, not to mention occasionally trying to have a life.


----------



## CarlaSixx

My mother is really not helping me with my online shopping addiction. She's telling me which wigs to buy, lol. At a time when I want to get some, this is really not helping when I should actually be SAVING my money instead of spending it all.


----------



## CastingPearls

I confess that I've been avoiding my family for weeks, have also put off routine bloodwork for months including a crucial thyroid work-up, and am heartbroken that my favorite internist (and a BBW) has left my doctor's office to work at a vet hospital and I'm forced to see an incompetent med tech or the fat-phobic main doctor who is going to force me to see the only disease specialist in the network who's a fucking sadist.

Also Zephyr has not returned home yet and I'm really really worried.


----------



## superodalisque

CastingPearls said:


> I confess that I've been avoiding my family for weeks, have also put off routine bloodwork for months including a crucial thyroid work-up, and am heartbroken that my favorite internist (and a BBW) has left my doctor's office to work at a vet hospital and I'm forced to see an incompetent med tech or the fat-phobic main doctor who is going to force me to see the only disease specialist in the network who's a fucking sadist.
> 
> Also Zephyr has not returned home yet and I'm really really worried.



maybe you can make an appointment with the vets office?  sorry i didn't mean to make light. i just want to make you smile


----------



## CastingPearls

superodalisque said:


> maybe you can make an appointment with the vets office?  sorry i didn't mean to make light. i just want to make you smile


LOL Nevermind. I'm blaming gin today. LOL


----------



## littlefairywren

CastingPearls said:


> I confess that I've been avoiding my family for weeks, have also put off routine bloodwork for months including a crucial thyroid work-up, and am heartbroken that my favorite internist (and a BBW) has left my doctor's office to work at a vet hospital and I'm forced to see an incompetent med tech or the fat-phobic main doctor who is going to force me to see the only disease specialist in the network who's a fucking sadist.
> 
> Also Zephyr has not returned home yet and I'm really really worried.



Fingers crossed for Zephyr's safe return.


----------



## aocutiepi

littlefairywren said:


> Fingers crossed for Zephyr's safe return.



My fingers are crossed as well, dear.


----------



## CastingPearls

Thanks everyone.


----------



## LovelyLiz

CastingPearls said:


> Thanks everyone.



Also hoping Zephyr returns safely. Keep us posted.

IC that looking for a new apartment is a pain in the ass (I am moving to a bigger place, and for work reasons). But I'm feeling more hopeful today as I've broadened my search radius and found some other areas I might consider. Don't think I'll feel fully at ease though until all the moving is finished. Though I'm not feeling really crappy or anything, I think I'll feel better once the transition is done - since I know it's coming. Y'know?


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Ugh. IC, I'm hating men right now. Three days ago, on Wednesday, I had a guy write this to me on an online dating site: I basically paid for membership just so I could write you. I love the way you look and for some reason I just feel like you're the one for me, as weird as that may sound. Let's try getting to know each other and see if my intuition is correct?

So we spent most of Wednesday afternoon e-mailing back and forth, learning things about each other and having what I felt was a good conversation. We share similar taste in movies and music and he's a bigger music geek than I am, which is a pretty rare thing. I was feeling pretty hopeful about the connection and even told my therapist about it on Thursday, which is a big sign that I'm usually feeling happy and hopeful about something, if I tell my therapist about it.

I didn't hear from the guy at all on Thursday, though, which I thought was a little unusual. I sent him a brief e-mail on Thursday, just checking in to see how he was doing, and asking if he might be interested in talking on the phone. This morning, I received this e-mail response from him: I hope this doesn't disappoint you too much, but I just expectantly went out on a date last night, and it went really well. I've tried in the past to meet multiple people at the same time and it is way too overwhelming and hard to deal with, so I'm going to hold off getting to know anyone else while I'm seeing where things go with the woman I went out with last night.

Im not sure what he means by just expectantly went out on a date. Does he mean _unexpectedly_ went out on a date? Maybe they decided at the last minute to go out on a date, so it was unexpected? Or does he mean that he went on the date _expectantly_, not really sure what would happen?

Whatever the case, it obviously doesnt matter now. There may not have even been any date and he just lost interest in me for whatever reason. I just hate the whole pretense some guys put into these things, telling me he paid for a dating site membership just so he could write to me, he thinks Im the one for him, etc. I was really hoping it wasnt a load of b.s. But Ive been proven wrong again, as I have been so many times before. Why should I be surprised? Why should I hope for anything different?


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

thirtiesgirl said:


> Ugh. IC, I'm hating men right now. Three days ago, on Wednesday, I had a guy write this to me on an online dating site: I basically paid for membership just so I could write you. I love the way you look and for some reason I just feel like you're the one for me, as weird as that may sound. Let's try getting to know each other and see if my intuition is correct?
> 
> So we spent most of Wednesday afternoon e-mailing back and forth, learning things about each other and having what I felt was a good conversation. We share similar taste in movies and music and he's a bigger music geek than I am, which is a pretty rare thing. I was feeling pretty hopeful about the connection and even told my therapist about it on Thursday, which is a big sign that I'm usually feeling happy and hopeful about something, if I tell my therapist about it.
> 
> I didn't hear from the guy at all on Thursday, though, which I thought was a little unusual. I sent him a brief e-mail on Thursday, just checking in to see how he was doing, and asking if he might be interested in talking on the phone. This morning, I received this e-mail response from him: I hope this doesn't disappoint you too much, but I just expectantly went out on a date last night, and it went really well. I've tried in the past to meet multiple people at the same time and it is way too overwhelming and hard to deal with, so I'm going to hold off getting to know anyone else while I'm seeing where things go with the woman I went out with last night.
> 
> Im not sure what he means by just expectantly went out on a date. Does he mean _unexpectedly_ went out on a date? Maybe they decided at the last minute to go out on a date, so it was unexpected? Or does he mean that he went on the date _expectantly_, not really sure what would happen?
> 
> Whatever the case, it obviously doesnt matter now. There may not have even been any date and he just lost interest in me for whatever reason. I just hate the whole pretense some guys put into these things, telling me he paid for a dating site membership just so he could write to me, he thinks Im the one for him, etc. I was really hoping it wasnt a load of b.s. But Ive been proven wrong again, as I have been so many times before. Why should I be surprised? Why should I hope for anything different?



Ugh. Been there. (((hugs)))


-----------------

CP, any signs of Zephyr? Hope he comes back home.


----------



## CastingPearls

No sightings of him at all which scares me. He was sticking close to the house but not anymore, unless we can't see him in the woods he might have gotten scared off by a predator. 

We had a have-a-heart trap but he knows how to NOT spring it so it doesn't work with him. He got out once before (our cats are Houdinis and can UNLOCK doors) but came home two weeks later when he was really hungry and missed us. We can't even leave food outside for him because of bears.


----------



## Tau

thirtiesgirl said:


> Ugh. IC, I'm hating men right now. Three days ago, on Wednesday, I had a guy write this to me on an online dating site: I basically paid for membership just so I could write you. I love the way you look and for some reason I just feel like you're the one for me, as weird as that may sound. Let's try getting to know each other and see if my intuition is correct?
> 
> So we spent most of Wednesday afternoon e-mailing back and forth, learning things about each other and having what I felt was a good conversation. We share similar taste in movies and music and he's a bigger music geek than I am, which is a pretty rare thing. I was feeling pretty hopeful about the connection and even told my therapist about it on Thursday, which is a big sign that I'm usually feeling happy and hopeful about something, if I tell my therapist about it.
> 
> I didn't hear from the guy at all on Thursday, though, which I thought was a little unusual. I sent him a brief e-mail on Thursday, just checking in to see how he was doing, and asking if he might be interested in talking on the phone. This morning, I received this e-mail response from him: I hope this doesn't disappoint you too much, but I just expectantly went out on a date last night, and it went really well. I've tried in the past to meet multiple people at the same time and it is way too overwhelming and hard to deal with, so I'm going to hold off getting to know anyone else while I'm seeing where things go with the woman I went out with last night.
> 
> Im not sure what he means by just expectantly went out on a date. Does he mean _unexpectedly_ went out on a date? Maybe they decided at the last minute to go out on a date, so it was unexpected? Or does he mean that he went on the date _expectantly_, not really sure what would happen?
> 
> Whatever the case, it obviously doesnt matter now. There may not have even been any date and he just lost interest in me for whatever reason. I just hate the whole pretense some guys put into these things, telling me he paid for a dating site membership just so he could write to me, he thinks Im the one for him, etc. I was really hoping it wasnt a load of b.s. But Ive been proven wrong again, as I have been so many times before. Why should I be surprised? Why should I hope for anything different?



What a giant twat. I'm so sorry - I also cannot stand the fake shit. 

@CP - I hope your Zephyr has returned? *love*

@mcbeth - goodluck with the finding a place and then the move. Its exhausting but it also always feels like an adventure to me.


----------



## Tau

My room mates fiance is here from the US for a visit - he is the most devine boy. I'm so, so happy for her but confess that I can barely stand to be around them cos their joy makes me feel so unbearably alone  I feel shrunken and small and forgotten, as bland and as unwanted as brown bread and milk. Its really hard feeling this way. I'm usually a very positive person and I love this girl from the bottom of my heart but I just cannot be around them. I can't wait till he leaves again - am so ashamed for even thinking that. Times like this I wish I lived alone because then I wouldn't be reminded that I am alone.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

CastingPearls said:


> No sightings of him at all which scares me. He was sticking close to the house but not anymore, unless we can't see him in the woods he might have gotten scared off by a predator.
> 
> We had a have-a-heart trap but he knows how to NOT spring it so it doesn't work with him. He got out once before (our cats are Houdinis and can UNLOCK doors) but came home two weeks later when he was really hungry and missed us. We can't even leave food outside for him because of bears.



 I hope your baby comes home.



Tau said:


> My room mates fiance is here from the US for a visit - he is the most devine boy. I'm so, so happy for her but confess that I can barely stand to be around them cos their joy makes me feel so unbearably alone  I feel shrunken and small and forgotten, as bland and as unwanted as brown bread and milk. Its really hard feeling this way. I'm usually a very positive person and I love this girl from the bottom of my heart but I just cannot be around them. I can't wait till he leaves again - am so ashamed for even thinking that. Times like this I wish I lived alone because then I wouldn't be reminded that I am alone.



(((hugs))) to you, sweetie. I can SO relate to this.

BTW, you are most certainly NOT bland!


----------



## thirtiesgirl

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Ugh. Been there. (((hugs)))





Tau said:


> What a giant twat. I'm so sorry - I also cannot stand the fake shit.



Thanks. I sent him this message this morning, after his "date" message: "Hmm, interesting. Makes me think that whole line about paying for a membership on Soulgeek to reply to my ad, how you thought we'd really be a good match, etc...was just a line. Next time, you might want to consider being a little more circumspect in your initial response to people if you're not really serious. Best of luck." And he had the audacity to respond in anger, trying to convince me he really _is _sincere, but it's obvious now what I really think of him, blah blah blah. As if I'd date him now and pretend to be happy playing second best. 

CastingPearls, I really hope your kitty shows up. I'm hoping for the best.



Tau said:


> My room mates fiance is here from the US for a visit - he is the most devine boy. I'm so, so happy for her but confess that I can barely stand to be around them cos their joy makes me feel so unbearably alone  I feel shrunken and small and forgotten, as bland and as unwanted as brown bread and milk. Its really hard feeling this way. I'm usually a very positive person and I love this girl from the bottom of my heart but I just cannot be around them. I can't wait till he leaves again - am so ashamed for even thinking that. Times like this I wish I lived alone because then I wouldn't be reminded that I am alone.



Ugh. I can so identify with this. I've fortunately never had to experience it with a roommate (and seriously don't think I could; I'd have to get myself out of town for a few days and let them have the run of the apartment), but I've experienced it with friends. I try to be appropriate and happy for them, but my baser enviousness takes over and it becomes very difficult to be a better person.


----------



## luscious_lulu

CastingPearls said:


> Thanks everyone.



I've heard if you put something that smells strongly of you (shoes are a good choice) it helps to draw the cat home. A friend of mine who had her cat run away and tried it. It worked for her.


----------



## CastingPearls

luscious_lulu said:


> I've heard if you put something that smells strongly of you (shoes are a good choice) it helps to draw the cat home. A friend of mine who had her cat run away and tried it. It worked for her.


Thanks Lulu. We're doing that. He ran away before so he knows the area, thankfully. For the first few days he did come to both the front and back doors to 'talk' to his brothers and sisters but he's always been skittish so he ran when we approached the door. 

My biggest concern is predators out there because he's a lover not a fighter and wouldn't know to kill to eat, for example, one of our cats flushed out a field mouse--Zephyr gave it a piece of corn he found on the floor. We had a hamster, they were best friends, a squirrel broke into the basement, he pushed his toys under the door for his new friend to play with. I'm concerned he isn't eating (unless some instinctive kill switch kicks in) and worry about predators. He'd run right up to a coyote. I know him.


----------



## spiritangel

me being a bitch this morning keep sending the kids to their mother, and stuff I am not lifting a finger to help, got sent to ambers room at like 9pm last night oh yeah sooo over frozen food crap too, havent gotten out of bed yet, thinking of catching a taxi to town for a while to escape. but that means having to get up off the mattress on the floor and my hip is killing atm sigh

even put my fb status to seriously considering booking a ticket home for monday and not a peep from my cousin, sick of being treated like a 2nd class citizen. Seriously I mean they said they wanted an early night just wanted the loungeroom to themselves tv was full ball and all. Oh and I am being pretty much treated like I dont exist at pressent I mean if you want me to leave freaking tell me Id be only to happy to get the hell outta dodge want to type sooo much more but kids keep comming in and amber keeps swearing at the kids oh yay they are going


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

My mother. I'm beyond the end of my rope with her. I cannot take anymore insanity.

About to start crying; I'm so sick of it all.


----------



## littlefairywren

thirtiesgirl said:


> Ugh. IC, I'm hating men right now. Three days ago, on Wednesday, I had a guy write this to me on an online dating site: “I basically paid for membership just so I could write you. I love the way you look and for some reason I just feel like you're the one for me, as weird as that may sound. Let's try getting to know each other and see if my intuition is correct?”
> 
> So we spent most of Wednesday afternoon e-mailing back and forth, learning things about each other and having what I felt was a good conversation. We share similar taste in movies and music and he's a bigger music geek than I am, which is a pretty rare thing. I was feeling pretty hopeful about the connection and even told my therapist about it on Thursday, which is a big sign that I'm usually feeling happy and hopeful about something, if I tell my therapist about it.
> 
> I didn't hear from the guy at all on Thursday, though, which I thought was a little unusual. I sent him a brief e-mail on Thursday, just checking in to see how he was doing, and asking if he might be interested in talking on the phone. This morning, I received this e-mail response from him: “I hope this doesn't disappoint you too much, but I just expectantly went out on a date last night, and it went really well. I've tried in the past to meet multiple people at the same time and it is way too overwhelming and hard to deal with, so I'm going to hold off getting to know anyone else while I'm seeing where things go with the woman I went out with last night.”
> 
> I’m not sure what he means by “just expectantly went out on a date.” Does he mean “_unexpectedly_ went out on a date”? Maybe they decided at the last minute to go out on a date, so it was unexpected? Or does he mean that he went on the date _expectantly_, not really sure what would happen?
> 
> Whatever the case, it obviously doesn’t matter now. There may not have even been any date and he just lost interest in me for whatever reason. I just hate the whole pretense some guys put into these things, telling me he paid for a dating site membership just so he could write to me, he thinks I’m “the one for him,” etc. I was really hoping it wasn’t a load of b.s. But I’ve been proven wrong again, as I have been so many times before. Why should I be surprised? Why should I hope for anything different?



God, what an ass! I hate being treated like we are a buffet. (((Hugs))) thirtiesgirl. Don't let it put you off, he is out there somewhere!



CastingPearls said:


> No sightings of him at all which scares me. He was sticking close to the house but not anymore, unless we can't see him in the woods he might have gotten scared off by a predator.
> 
> We had a have-a-heart trap but he knows how to NOT spring it so it doesn't work with him. He got out once before (our cats are Houdinis and can UNLOCK doors) but came home two weeks later when he was really hungry and missed us. We can't even leave food outside for him because of bears.



I sent a wee prayer up for Zephyr's safe return last night, Elaine. I hope someone hears me.



Tau said:


> My room mates fiance is here from the US for a visit - he is the most devine boy. I'm so, so happy for her but confess that I can barely stand to be around them cos their joy makes me feel so unbearably alone  I feel shrunken and small and forgotten, as bland and as unwanted as brown bread and milk. Its really hard feeling this way. I'm usually a very positive person and I love this girl from the bottom of my heart but I just cannot be around them. I can't wait till he leaves again - am so ashamed for even thinking that. Times like this I wish I lived alone because then I wouldn't be reminded that I am alone.



Tau, I have felt that same when I see friends in their little bubble of love. It hurts to see it, but don't be ashamed for feeling that way. I kinda think it is normal. Huggles to you.



spiritangel said:


> me being a bitch this morning keep sending the kids to their mother, and stuff I am not lifting a finger to help, got sent to ambers room at like 9pm last night oh yeah sooo over frozen food crap too, havent gotten out of bed yet, thinking of catching a taxi to town for a while to escape. but that means having to get up off the mattress on the floor and my hip is killing atm sigh
> 
> even put my fb status to seriously considering booking a ticket home for monday and not a peep from my cousin, sick of being treated like a 2nd class citizen. Seriously I mean they said they wanted an early night just wanted the loungeroom to themselves tv was full ball and all. Oh and I am being pretty much treated like I dont exist at pressent I mean if you want me to leave freaking tell me Id be only to happy to get the hell outta dodge want to type sooo much more but kids keep comming in and amber keeps swearing at the kids oh yay they are going



You really need to get out of there, SA. For your own well being and sanity. Come home, pronto!



MizzSnakeBite said:


> My mother. I'm beyond the end of my rope with her. I cannot take anymore insanity.
> 
> About to start crying; I'm so sick of it all.



(((Hugs))) my darling girl. My heart is with you 


@mcbeth....best of luck finding the one that fits you right. Keep us posted


----------



## aocutiepi

thirtiesgirl said:


> Ugh. IC, I'm hating men right now. Three days ago, on Wednesday, I had a guy write this to me on an online dating site: I basically paid for membership just so I could write you. I love the way you look and for some reason I just feel like you're the one for me, as weird as that may sound. Let's try getting to know each other and see if my intuition is correct?



I've been there too. And his juvenile-ish angry response? He wasted YOUR time and dismissed it because may-or-may-not have had a date that went promisingly right after? I always felt that when that happened to me it was a classic case of I'm not into you for x reason... but they were too wimpy to say it. I'd honestly rather know that you didn't think we clicked for whatever reason other than, "I'm pursuing another relationship now." WTF? Especially since he paid "just for you."

Squishy hugs, thirtiesgirl. I still like to tell myself they aren't all bad. I almost have to reaffirm that daily, though. Frustrating. 



Tau said:


> My room mates fiance is here from the US for a visit - he is the most devine boy. I'm so, so happy for her but confess that I can barely stand to be around them cos their joy makes me feel so unbearably alone  I feel shrunken and small and forgotten, as bland and as unwanted as brown bread and milk. Its really hard feeling this way. I'm usually a very positive person and I love this girl from the bottom of my heart but I just cannot be around them. I can't wait till he leaves again - am so ashamed for even thinking that. Times like this I wish I lived alone because then I wouldn't be reminded that I am alone.



My roommate in college would bring her fiance in to spend the night all of the time. It was really annoying because they were one of those sickly sweet couples. I had never even had a boyfriend at this stage in my life and it was just another one of those things that made me feel worse about my lack of love life. So I understand what you're going through!

But I must agree, you are completely NOT bland, at all... you are fabulous.



CastingPearls said:


> No sightings of him at all which scares me. He was sticking close to the house but not anymore, unless we can't see him in the woods he might have gotten scared off by a predator.
> 
> We had a have-a-heart trap but he knows how to NOT spring it so it doesn't work with him. He got out once before (our cats are Houdinis and can UNLOCK doors) but came home two weeks later when he was really hungry and missed us. We can't even leave food outside for him because of bears.



Still hoping for Zephyr's safe return, especially now that I know he's up against bears (potentially)...



spiritangel said:


> me being a bitch this morning keep sending the kids to their mother, and stuff I am not lifting a finger to help, got sent to ambers room at like 9pm last night oh yeah sooo over frozen food crap too, havent gotten out of bed yet, thinking of catching a taxi to town for a while to escape. but that means having to get up off the mattress on the floor and my hip is killing atm sigh
> 
> even put my fb status to seriously considering booking a ticket home for monday and not a peep from my cousin, sick of being treated like a 2nd class citizen. Seriously I mean they said they wanted an early night just wanted the loungeroom to themselves tv was full ball and all. Oh and I am being pretty much treated like I dont exist at pressent I mean if you want me to leave freaking tell me Id be only to happy to get the hell outta dodge want to type sooo much more but kids keep comming in and amber keeps swearing at the kids oh yay they are going



Ugh. I've been reading your updates about the situation but I'm often terrible about finding things to say... but I just want you to know that you should never be treated or feel like you're being treated like a second class citizen.

1) You're not.
2) You deserve so much more.

I hope things get better. If not, I hope you follow through with your Facebook status... your sanity will thank you for it. You are a wonderful lady--don't forget it. Hugs to you, sweetie!



MizzSnakeBite said:


> My mother. I'm beyond the end of my rope with her. I cannot take anymore insanity.
> 
> About to start crying; I'm so sick of it all.



Big hugs tonight for you, dear. Mothers can be the best and the worst--and it really cuts deep when they are the worst. 



mcbeth said:


> IC that looking for a new apartment is a pain in the ass (I am moving to a bigger place, and for work reasons). But I'm feeling more hopeful today as I've broadened my search radius and found some other areas I might consider. Don't think I'll feel fully at ease though until all the moving is finished. Though I'm not feeling really crappy or anything, I think I'll feel better once the transition is done - since I know it's coming. Y'know?



Moving is so stressful! I moved five times last year. I'm over the packing and unpacking and scouring the classifieds... for now. Best of luck with your search!


----------



## aocutiepi

Had dinner tonight with my best friend from college and went to see Charlie St. Cloud. Total girls night, obviously!

We were discussing the depression that's accompanying my sister's pregnancy because Rose knows more about babies than anyone else I know, being big sister to five, a babysitting extraordinaire, and working in the infant wing of the hospital while she was in grad school. I told her that it was taking a toll on me being my sister's go-to shoulder to cry on nearly every single day.

I told Rose that it was because for the first time in my adult life (and probably the first time in my life that I remember) I'm finally happy with who I am and where my life is going... pretty much everything. But it's still hard for me to feel so confidently on a moment to moment basis because I spent so many years conditioning a hate myself mentality. And then I feel like my sister sucks all of the happiness out of my life when I have to try to cheer her up--she's like a happiness parasite. I love her, but it's emotionally draining to constantly build her up--especially when I feel like she tears herself down over the most ridiculous of stuff. 

Anyway, on point, IC that I think finding Dims is the reason why I am finally happy with who I am.


----------



## CarlaSixx

My friend just up and moved in with his new boyfriend of only a week and now I have only one friend left in my city and she isn't exactly the type of person I want to hang out with all that often. So I feel really lonely and know it's going to be Hell from here on in because I will never have anything to do and it's going to kill me. I don't know how to make friends and have nothing to do, anyways, that would get me to make any friends. I checked out the programs that schools in my city ould be offering to see if anything would interest me to attend and possibly make friends through that. Sadly, jewellery making and flower arrangement does not interest me in the least, so I am shit out of luck. I'm worried for my sanity. I've been crying all night about it. I hate being lonely and I'm now lonelier than ever.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

CarlaSixx said:


> My friend just up and moved in with his new boyfriend of only a week and now I have only one friend left in my city and she isn't exactly the type of person I want to hang out with all that often. So I feel really lonely and know it's going to be Hell from here on in because I will never have anything to do and it's going to kill me. I don't know how to make friends and have nothing to do, anyways, that would get me to make any friends. I checked out the programs that schools in my city ould be offering to see if anything would interest me to attend and possibly make friends through that. Sadly, jewellery making and flower arrangement does not interest me in the least, so I am shit out of luck. I'm worried for my sanity. I've been crying all night about it. I hate being lonely and I'm now lonelier than ever.



Loneliness really sucks. I haven't had a close friend in my area since a group of women friends I knew decided to end their friendship with me over size acceptance in 2005, and then my club friend Kat took a job as a cruise ship youth entertainment host in late 2007. So I started using Meetup.com, a site where you can meet with groups of people specifically into your interests (or so the site claims). In all honesty, I haven't found a whole lot of groups that are geared toward my specific interests on the site, but I've joined dinner & movie groups, singles groups, that kind of thing, and I pick and choose which meet-ups I want to attend. I assume there are meetup groups in Canada, so I might recommend checking out that website and just seeing what you find. You search by entering your postal code or area, and then checking off what things you're interested in. Then the site gives you a list of all the groups in or near your area that might fit your interests. Then if you want, you join the groups online (like joining a Facebook group), and when they schedule a meet-up, it will be posted online and you'll get an e-mail. You can RSVP for the meet-up, yes or no, and decide if you want to go. I've found it's a good way to meet acquaintences (I haven't met any good friends through the site yet), and just get out and do things with other people that I don't do by myself (bowling, mini-golf, just going for coffee). Or if I don't want to see a movie by myself, I can usually find one of my meetup groups who is planning a meet-up for that movie.


----------



## CarlaSixx

I've actually checked out meetup.com and the only group around here is a cyclist group. Everything else is in big cities far away. So there really is nothing for me to do about this situation


----------



## OneWickedAngel

CarlaSixx said:


> I've actually checked out meetup.com and the only group around here is a cyclist group. Everything else is in big cities far away. *So there really is nothing for me to do about this situation *



Not quite true...

You can't be the only one where you are who wants to do the things you're interested in. If you're not afraid of meeting strangers, and they will only be strangers to you for a very short while, start your own Meet-up group in your area! The easiest one to start is a movie meet-up. Meet an hour before the movie to chit-chat, get tickets, grub and see the movie. Or meet after the movie and have a cheapo dinner where you can discuss what you just saw. It's a great way to meet different people. Even if you don't meet your next best-friend (as I amazingly did) you now have, at the minimum, new acquaintances you can hang with at least for movies and it's incredible where it can lead from there. Half the crazy things I do is from word of mouth things I've learned about via mutual friends/acquaintances at meet-ups. You only get out of life what you're willing to put in it and this could be just the opportunity knocking for you.


----------



## CarlaSixx

It's too bad movies cost so damn much. More than I can really afford, especially since I don't like most of the movies that come out. I know... I'm rare, lol. But really... there's so very little that interests me and nothing to do as a group that it's damn near impossible to think of anything.

I don't live in a big city. Most of the population is on welfare as well, so no one can afford to do anything. You can cross my city from one side to the other doing 30mph in about 10 minutes, if not less. That's small. And we're far away from any other big cities. My only method of transportation is the city bus, and we only have 3 bus routes where the buses come only every 30 minutes until 7pm, where they go by only every hour until 11 when they shut down for the night. 

So there really is NOTHING I can do to change this situation. When I only get about 40$ to spend a month and a movie outing basically costs me half of that... Yeah... Not doing that.


----------



## CarlaSixx

Also, everyone either has kids or wants to do something as a couple with their partner. Both of those being situations I don't want to deal with AGAIN because it is NOT pretty.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> (((Hugs))) my darling girl. My heart is with you






aocutiepi said:


> Big hugs tonight for you, dear. Mothers can be the best and the worst--and it really cuts deep when they are the worst.



Thanks, Chicklet and aocutipi



CarlaSixx said:


> It's too bad movies cost so damn much. More than I can really afford, especially since I don't like most of the movies that come out. I know... I'm rare, lol. But really... there's so very little that interests me and nothing to do as a group that it's damn near impossible to think of anything.
> 
> I don't live in a big city. Most of the population is on welfare as well, so no one can afford to do anything. You can cross my city from one side to the other doing 30mph in about 10 minutes, if not less. That's small. And we're far away from any other big cities. My only method of transportation is the city bus, and we only have 3 bus routes where the buses come only every 30 minutes until 7pm, where they go by only every hour until 11 when they shut down for the night.
> 
> So there really is NOTHING I can do to change this situation. When I only get about 40$ to spend a month and a movie outing basically costs me half of that... Yeah... Not doing that.





CarlaSixx said:


> Also, everyone either has kids or wants to do something as a couple with their partner. Both of those being situations I don't want to deal with AGAIN because it is NOT pretty.



How about hair and costume making? I bet there's at least one person out there that is interested in those things.


----------



## spiritangel

Hugs Carla I totally hear all of that and wish there was something I could do to help


IC I am worried sick about the kids here, and that when I leave tommorrow I know they are gonna be told its their fault have been telling them aunty amanda has to go home for health reasons but yeah their mum will drill it in that it is their fault sigh


----------



## Punkin1024

spiritangel ~ Sounds like you've been stuck between a rock and a hard place too long! I am glad you've made the decision to go home, though I know you will worry over the children. (((((Hugs)))))


----------



## CastingPearls

All around hugs for everyone cos I really suck at multi-quoting.


----------



## Punkin1024

Hubby and I had to take a quiet day today. This week has been a real stinker of a week and he needed to rest and recoup. Lately, I've had to deal with so much at the office and home that I find myself escaping to the computer till late hours of the night. I've been so restless! When I do finally hit my head to the pillow it is usually 1 a.m. and I have to be up before 8 to get ready for work. I know I need to get out of this less sleep cycle but I just don't want to...yet. :doh:


----------



## spiritangel

I am home exhausted but wired, and have lots of pics of me eating on various trains to share lol including a croissant


----------



## thirtiesgirl

MizzSnakeBite said:


> How about hair and costume making? I bet there's at least one person out there that is interested in those things.



This is not a bad idea. Carla, you could post an ad on Craigslist for free, advertising your costume making skills. I'm sure you'd find a few takers and make a few extra bucks by helping them.


----------



## CastingPearls

Last night, in the full throes of insomnia, I was minding my own bidness playing my little farm game on Facebook around 4AM, when I realized that I accidentally left my IM on after talking to a gf in Calgary. I get an IM from someone that went to the same high school although we were in different crowds, he was a year behind, etc. We were only friends on FB by coincidence because I was suggested by a mutual friend and he accepted thinking it was a request. Then he started a group and invited me, etc. Strange the way things happen.

High school wasn't a happy place for me. They were not the 'best years of my life'. Boys my own age were mostly nice but dating-wise largely ignored me. Actually, it was male teachers who found me appealing. So I dated older boys/men outside of school (jail bait) and basically became relatively unconscious of the lack of attention there. I flourished in my own little world.

Imagine my surprise when this guy who I have the vaguest memory of IMs me and begins to wax nostalgic on the deep lust and affection he had for me (but never said a word). I said, 'You don't even remember me.' He said, 'I remember black spandex, that ass, those eyes and that laugh.' Hmmm..he WAS paying attention. LOL He said, 'We all lusted after you but you were unattainable.' I said, 'WTF are you talking about? I didn't even get asked to prom. I recall you were King Shit.' He said, 'It's true. I was conceited but we were all in awe of you.' 

I said, 'WTF is it with all you guys from the old neighborhood that whenever you have a few drinks or smoke a little weed and the wife isn't home you start remembering the glory days and contact ME? You all took thin girls to prom, fucked them, impregnated them, and married them and they all got fat anyway and now that you know the joys of fat sex you have to call me and what? Confess?' 

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I was an object of lust but not suitably date-worthy to my own peers. I always knew the latter but had no inkling of the former. Whenever they contacted me they all claimed, '...but I was nice to you..' like it was a fucking gift. 

This bullshit is one of the reasons why I don't go to class reunions.


----------



## CarlaSixx

thirtiesgirl said:


> This is not a bad idea. Carla, you could post an ad on Craigslist for free, advertising your costume making skills. I'm sure you'd find a few takers and make a few extra bucks by helping them.



The problem is that I DON'T have skills, lol. I can't use a sewing machine, and can't sew more than severely basic things. Making costumes is completely out of the question because I can't do it. Not that I haven't tried. I have a sea of wrecked fabrics and two battered sewing machines to prove it. 

I just don't have much of any talent


----------



## CarlaSixx

CastingPearls said:


> High school wasn't a happy place for me. They were not the 'best years of my life'. Boys my own age were mostly nice but dating-wise largely ignored me. Actually, it was male teachers who found me appealing. So I dated older boys/men outside of school (jail bait) and basically became relatively unconscious of the lack of attention there. I flourished in my own little world.
> 
> Imagine my surprise when this guy who I have the vaguest memory of IMs me and begins to wax nostalgic on the deep lust and affection he had for me (but never said a word). I said, 'You don't even remember me.' He said, 'I remember black spandex, that ass, those eyes and that laugh.' Hmmm..he WAS paying attention. LOL He said, 'We all lusted after you but you were unattainable.' I said, 'WTF are you talking about? I didn't even get asked to prom. I recall you were King Shit.' He said, 'It's true. I was conceited but we were all in awe of you.'
> 
> I said, 'WTF is it with all you guys from the old neighborhood that whenever you have a few drinks or smoke a little weed and the wife isn't home you start remembering the glory days and contact ME? You all took thin girls to prom, fucked them, impregnated them, and married them and they all got fat anyway and now that you know the joys of fat sex you have to call me and what? Confess?'
> 
> I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I was an object of lust but not suitably date-worthy to my own peers. I always knew the latter but had no inkling of the former. Whenever they contacted me they all claimed, '...but I was nice to you..' like it was a fucking gift.
> 
> This bullshit is one of the reasons why I don't go to class reunions.



Oh, do I ever relate. In high school, I started seeing guys in their 20s, and by 17 was enthralled by 2 men in their 30s, both of whom I started "seeing" when I turned 18. I never really saw guys from school pay attention to me. I wasn't tormented much for my weight in school, but no one seemed really "nice" about it, if you get what I mean. The ones who cared about me where not my age at all.

Now out of school, I get messages from people who were in my classes that say they wanna go out on a date or something, saying I am stunning, etc. I don't get it. They were always dating the sporty and popular girls in school, and suddenly when out of school, they wanna give me attention? It doesn't sit well with me. And when they live in another city and are trying to ask me out, that's even worse. I just hate it and ignore them entirely afterwards. 

They've all said that in private, they all seemed to have a fascination with me. I don't think everyone was lusty, but maybe curious. And, really, it kind of hurts to hear that.

I wasn't hated in high school, everyone knew me, most people were good to me, but I wasn't textbook popular. They were my best years, but that isn't saying much. And they've been planning a reunion already. I really don't think I'll be attending if my life doesn't turn around, as I've just been going downhill since high school and am the only drop out of our grade.


----------



## LovelyLiz

CarlaSixx said:


> snipped... They were my best years, but that isn't saying much. And they've been planning a reunion already. I really don't think I'll be attending if my life doesn't turn around, as I've just been going downhill since high school and am the only drop out of our grade.



Did you already get your GED, or whatever the high school equivalency is in Canada? Or can you take a class or go to continuing education or something?

I only ask that because taking classes can be a good way to get to know new people... (not that you were asking for my input...) 

It can be really tough to make new friends, and I know it can feel like an uphill struggle at times; it just may take some time, and some trial and error. But sooooo many people are lonely in this world and are looking for friends! I think that's true in a town of 500 and definitely in a city of 3 million.


----------



## CarlaSixx

I'm only 3 credits away from a complete high school diploma, which takes less time to get than a GED and I've always been in pre-Uni courses, so for me, it would be a MAJOR step down and would make me feel like an idiot. I went to a school for GED students and my mother was a GED program creator. I know the work they do and it's so painfully low grade level to me (you have to understand, I was doing the same work in grade 3) and I just won't do it. Especially when it takes 9 months of doing grade 3 work before being allowed to take the test, when it takes 3 to 5 months to finish the high school credits. I just will NOT do the GED if my life depended on it.

And I have no motivation to finish the high school credits. Everyone who attends the schools that offer courses to adults have teens there during the day. Really immature and deliquent teens (which is what gets them there instead of staying in a real high school) and I am NOT going to put up with teenage bullshit drama any longer.

I have no reason to finish. There isn't anything for me to do. It's the only reason I haven't completed them already, and is the reason I dropped out. There is absolutely nothing I want to get into afterwards.


----------



## luscious_lulu

spiritangel said:


> I am home exhausted but wired, and have lots of pics of me eating on various trains to share lol including a croissant



You're such a bad ass! I knew I liked you for a reason!


----------



## CastingPearls

spiritangel said:


> I am home exhausted but wired, and have lots of pics of me eating on various trains to share lol including a croissant


Wonderful. Can't wait to see the pics!!!


----------



## calauria

CarlaSixx said:


> Also, everyone either has kids or wants to do something as a couple with their partner. Both of those being situations I don't want to deal with AGAIN because it is NOT pretty.



How about goin away to school somewhere and live in the dorms?


----------



## CarlaSixx

calauria said:


> How about goin away to school somewhere and live in the dorms?



I don't have any money to do it, and I haven't finished high school, so I can't get into college or University, nor do I want to, because there isn't any programs that I am interested in. I don't want to waste money like that.


----------



## spiritangel

CarlaSixx said:


> I don't have any money to do it, and I haven't finished high school, so I can't get into college or University, nor do I want to, because there isn't any programs that I am interested in. I don't want to waste money like that.



hmm what about short courses at community colledge like learning to sew and make your own clothes it would help with the costume thing and they are usuallly pretty reasonable might have to cut down the wig buying a bit but would be very worth while or a costume design course??


----------



## calauria

CarlaSixx said:


> I don't have any money to do it, and I haven't finished high school, so I can't get into college or University, nor do I want to, because there isn't any programs that I am interested in. I don't want to waste money like that.



Well, how about cutting back on expenses to save money to relocate? If you can't afford an apt. on your own try a finding a roommate through a roommate match service.


----------



## CarlaSixx

calauria said:


> Well, how about cutting back on expenses to save money to relocate? If you can't afford an apt. on your own try a finding a roommate through a roommate match service.



I live off 40$ a month. There really isn't anything to cut down on. But I don't have any reason to relocate other than the fact that I don't like my city and none of my friends live here anymore. I'm not able to work, so I can't just up and go anywhere. Not only that, but I don't drive, so I really _cannot_ up and go. I mean... how many people plan a whole life change around 40$ a month? I've never heard of it in my life.

Thing is... I don't ENJOY sewing. I just learned it really quick because I had hand-me-downs that were worn out and I needed to fix them myself. The only reason I did costume design in school is because I was too fat to get a part in any of the plays. I wanted to be centre stage, but fixing up the person who was going to be centre stage was my only option.

I do NOT enjoy being a "behind the scenes" worker. I HATE making things for others and not receiving proper credit for it.


----------



## spiritangel

CarlaSixx said:


> I live off 40$ a month. There really isn't anything to cut down on. But I don't have any reason to relocate other than the fact that I don't like my city and none of my friends live here anymore. I'm not able to work, so I can't just up and go anywhere. Not only that, but I don't drive, so I really _cannot_ up and go. I mean... how many people plan a whole life change around 40$ a month? I've never heard of it in my life.
> 
> Thing is... I don't ENJOY sewing. I just learned it really quick because I had hand-me-downs that were worn out and I needed to fix them myself. The only reason I did costume design in school is because I was too fat to get a part in any of the plays. I wanted to be centre stage, but fixing up the person who was going to be centre stage was my only option.
> 
> I do NOT enjoy being a "behind the scenes" worker. I HATE making things for others and not receiving proper credit for it.



Carla is there community theatre in your town? as that is free a great way to meet people of simmilar interests and also you may even get on stage (although sometimes takes a while of working your way up) but would be well worth looking into..............


----------



## CarlaSixx

spiritangel said:


> Carla is there community theatre in your town? as that is free a great way to meet people of simmilar interests and also you may even get on stage (although sometimes takes a while of working your way up) but would be well worth looking into..............



I was part of one for two years, a french one, and there's an English one that only runs once a year. I've given up hope because the plays they put on never have characters that I can do. The french one always has old people characters (as all but 2 from the troupe are over 40) and they do not want to deal with piercings and tattoos. The English one always has ones with thin characters, like Anne of Green Gables and whatnot. I don't want to try once again because I always get the same reaction "Oh, well we don't have any roles for you, but we could always use an extra hand for makeup and costumes."

:doh:

I'm SO sick of that.


----------



## calauria

CarlaSixx said:


> I live off 40$ a month. There really isn't anything to cut down on. But I don't have any reason to relocate other than the fact that I don't like my city and none of my friends live here anymore. I'm not able to work, so I can't just up and go anywhere. Not only that, but I don't drive, so I really _cannot_ up and go. I mean... how many people plan a whole life change around 40$ a month? I've never heard of it in my life.
> 
> Thing is... I don't ENJOY sewing. I just learned it really quick because I had hand-me-downs that were worn out and I needed to fix them myself. The only reason I did costume design in school is because I was too fat to get a part in any of the plays. I wanted to be centre stage, but fixing up the person who was going to be centre stage was my only option.
> 
> I do NOT enjoy being a "behind the scenes" worker. I HATE making things for others and not receiving proper credit for it.



Not liking the city you live is a good enough reason to prepare to leave. Obviously, the city you live in now doesn't have what you need to have the quality of life that you want. Do you want to relocate or do you want to try to make things work there?

I'm not sure how disabitlity works in Canada. But, in a larger city where you would like to live, do they offer housing for the disabled? Also, does Canada offer disability payments? And, if so, would they allow you to work part time? Maybe you can do an internet search to see what resources are available for the disabled. 
I've done all types of traveling and relocating with very little money. I'm a master at it, a master at planning it. It does take a lotof planning, focus, and perserverance, but it can be done. Plus, you don't have any children, so it would be a lot easier, once you know how to do it.

Just tell me what you want to do and I can help you find a way to get there.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

IC I've heard enough bullshit...

Step 1. Bang head against wall.
Step 2. If head does not hurt repeat Step 1, while bitching head does not hurt.
Step 3. If head does hurt, cease head banging, while bitching head does hurt.
Step 4. Repeat Steps 1 -3 as needed.

Grrrrr


----------



## CarlaSixx

calauria said:


> Not liking the city you live is a good enough reason to prepare to leave. Obviously, the city you live in now doesn't have what you need to have the quality of life that you want. Do you want to relocate or do you want to try to make things work there?
> 
> I'm not sure how disabitlity works in Canada. But, in a larger city where you would like to live, do they offer housing for the disabled? Also, does Canada offer disability payments? And, if so, would they allow you to work part time? Maybe you can do an internet search to see what resources are available for the disabled.
> I've done all types of traveling and relocating with very little money. I'm a master at it, a master at planning it. It does take a lotof planning, focus, and perserverance, but it can be done. Plus, you don't have any children, so it would be a lot easier, once you know how to do it.
> 
> Just tell me what you want to do and I can help you find a way to get there.



I am not on disability right now. I haven't gotten the complete work done and it will take 6 months to get everything done before I can apply for disability, and once I do, it takes 6 more months up to a full year before I see any results. So a year to go before I get any news about receiving disability.

They do have housing in Canada for those on disability, but it's usually REALLY bad places. They do also let people on it work up to a certain amount of money a month before they don't receive any payments, but I am medically unfit to work for maaaaany reasons, so actually getting a job is pretty much out of the question. 

I don't think i'm leaving this rut anytime soon. A year or more to wait for medical stuff to go through? That's a lot like forever, and it's not a "fore sure" thing, either. There really doesn't seem to be any way out because of the chances of things going wrong are much higher than things going right.

Not only that, but I am living with a disabled mother that I'm supposed to take care of. If I leave, she gets no help, can't afford to hire help, and doesn't want forced help by the doctor's orders. She won't move out of this city, either. There's so much holding me back that I just hate it.


----------



## calauria

CarlaSixx said:


> I am not on disability right now. I haven't gotten the complete work done and it will take 6 months to get everything done before I can apply for disability, and once I do, it takes 6 more months up to a full year before I see any results. So a year to go before I get any news about receiving disability.
> 
> They do have housing in Canada for those on disability, but it's usually REALLY bad places. They do also let people on it work up to a certain amount of money a month before they don't receive any payments, but I am medically unfit to work for maaaaany reasons, so actually getting a job is pretty much out of the question.
> 
> I don't think i'm leaving this rut anytime soon. A year or more to wait for medical stuff to go through? That's a lot like forever, and it's not a "fore sure" thing, either. There really doesn't seem to be any way out because of the chances of things going wrong are much higher than things going right.
> 
> Not only that, but I am living with a disabled mother that I'm supposed to take care of. If I leave, she gets no help, can't afford to hire help, and doesn't want forced help by the doctor's orders. She won't move out of this city, either. There's so much holding me back that I just hate it.



There maybe free or low cost legal assistance to help you obtain the disability. I'm pretty sure you will get it, since your doctor has diagnosed that you are unfit to work. So, now this leaves you with your mom's situation. Well, you are not able to take care of your mother, either, because you too are disabled. It might be hard to break it to your mom, but you are young and you have your own life to live. So, your mom may have to accept the Doctor ordered care. Either that or she has to move with you. Do you have relatives who live in the area who can go by and check to make sure that these people are taking care of your mom properly? I'm sure you do.

The more you stay in an unhappy situation the worse it is gonna become.


----------



## CarlaSixx

calauria said:


> There maybe free or low cost legal assistance to help you obtain the disability. I'm pretty sure you will get it, since your doctor has diagnosed that you are unfit to work. So, now this leaves you with your mom's situation. Well, you are not able to take care of your mother, either, because you too are disabled. It might be hard to break it to your mom, but you are young and you have your own life to live. So, your mom may have to accept the Doctor ordered care. Either that or she has to move with you. Do you have relatives who live in the area who can go by and check to make sure that these people are taking care of your mom properly? I'm sure you do.
> 
> The more you stay in an unhappy situation the worse it is gonna become.



We don't talk to our family. Her sister is the only family member we have in Canada besides my father and brother. My grandparents are 81 years old and my aunt is in her 60s. It's just not really possible  

My brother and father don't talk to us and are too abusive to call upon. They didn't help when she had cancer, they certainly will not help now. And they didn't help when her condition first started, which is why we moved out and away from them. So they're a no-go for sure.

Getting legal assistance won't help. I'll not only have to pay it back, but I don't have on paper that I'm not able to work for 2+years. Without it saying permanently unemployable, or at least 2 years unemployable, I will not get anything. And what I would be qualifying for is still in question (BPD) because obesity and general anxiety does not make enough of an argument to qualify for disability. I am being reassessed in 6 months from now, but I may not even get the full report by then, and the decision from the doctor may be that once again, he will only write down 1 year, and not 2+ years. Which means this hoping for a break will be all in vain.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Carla, I'm not going to suggest any solutions, as you'll just shoot them down. All I can say is you need to work on your perspective & the way you talk to yourself. You're caught in this negative whirlwind & until you decide you are capable of changing your situation, things/you won't change. If your current doctor/therapist hasn't suggested it yet, cognitive behavior therapy would probably help.

You may think I'm a total bitch for saying it, but I believe in being honest.


----------



## Tau

spiritangel said:


> I am home exhausted but wired, and have lots of pics of me eating on various trains to share lol including a croissant



*SHOCK!!!HORROR!!!* You dared to eat on a train you irresponsible fatty you!!


----------



## ashmamma84

luscious_lulu said:


> Carla, I'm not going to suggest any solutions, as you'll just shoot them down. All I can say is you need to work on your perspective & the way you talk to yourself. You're caught in this negative whirlwind & until you decide you are capable of changing your situation, things/you won't change. If your current doctor/therapist hasn't suggested it yet, cognitive behavior therapy would probably help.
> 
> You may think I'm a total bitch for saying it, but I believe in being honest.



I absolutely agree with this. If you're a total bitch that makes two of us. 

Carla you are far too young to have such a cynical, negative outlook. I don't think anyone's situation is hopeless. Even if it's hard, a lot of times the attitude we take makes life and going through an already tough situation even more vapid. Instead of focusing on everything that's wrong with your life, try focusing on what's right and what you can change. It might not come to you immediately and that's okay. But to write off happiness, especially at 20, is doing yourself a big disservice. 

Also, some help is better than no help at all. Even if it takes a year or two - so what? To everything there is a process; nothing is going to happen overnight so try to have some patience (this is the government after all.) So it might mean you need to start getting things in order like necessary paperwork, etc so you can get the help you need. Get the ball rolling. You aren't powerless. You can still fight the good fight. The faster you come to believe that, the better off the situation (and you) will be.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Adding my two cents to Lulu's and Ashmamma's...

Carla our attitudes on life is everything, EVERYTHING. 

We won't lie, you're correct in that there are many things you won't be able to do for quite a whille, that does not mean there are not things you can't do now. It will not be the fun/good things you want to do, but welcome to the not so fun part of adulthood, honey. There are gazillions of us doing and putting up with things we don't want to do/like, just so we can get the chance to do the things we do like. The sooner you face the world and get the ball slowly rolling past the bad things, the sooner you get to the good things. But nothing is going to get rolling if you stay holed-up ensrouded in your personal pity party of all the things you can't do. Ash is right you are simply too young to be so world weary. Sorry girl, but you haven't come close to earning that mantle yet. Tap into that fearless young woman who's not afraid to face the world with with purple hair and figure out what you can do tomorrow that's will get you one step closer. Even if that only thing is filling out more paperwork.

At the core, Carla, it really is as simple as:

"*If you think you can, you will and if you think you can't, you're right.*"


----------



## mszwebs

luscious_lulu said:


> Carla, I'm not going to suggest any solutions, as you'll just shoot them down. All I can say is you need to work on your perspective & the way you talk to yourself. You're caught in this negative whirlwind & until you decide you are capable of changing your situation, things/you won't change. If your current doctor/therapist hasn't suggested it yet, cognitive behavior therapy would probably help.
> 
> You may think I'm a total bitch for saying it, but I believe in being honest.





ashmamma84 said:


> I absolutely agree with this. If you're a total bitch that makes two of us.
> 
> Carla you are far too young to have such a cynical, negative outlook. I don't think anyone's situation is hopeless. Even if it's hard, a lot of times the attitude we take makes life and going through an already tough situation even more vapid. Instead of focusing on everything that's wrong with your life, try focusing on what's right and what you can change. It might not come to you immediately and that's okay. But to write off happiness, especially at 20, is doing yourself a big disservice.
> 
> Also, some help is better than no help at all. Even if it takes a year or two - so what? To everything there is a process; nothing is going to happen overnight so try to have some patience (this is the government after all.) So it might mean you need to start getting things in order like necessary paperwork, etc so you can get the help you need. Get the ball rolling. You aren't powerless. You can still fight the good fight. The faster you come to believe that, the better off the situation (and you) will be.




Thirded. If that were a word.

You can't just say "life sucks blah blah blah" because honestly, LIFE WILL CONTINUE TO SUCK if you only don't make some kind of change, but if you don't allow yourself to believe that change is possible.

I just posted this as my facebook status, but it certainly applies here:


*We can not transform our lives if we don't want to be transformed.*


----------



## calauria

CarlaSixx said:


> We don't talk to our family. Her sister is the only family member we have in Canada besides my father and brother. My grandparents are 81 years old and my aunt is in her 60s. It's just not really possible
> 
> My brother and father don't talk to us and are too abusive to call upon. They didn't help when she had cancer, they certainly will not help now. And they didn't help when her condition first started, which is why we moved out and away from them. So they're a no-go for sure.
> 
> Getting legal assistance won't help. I'll not only have to pay it back, but I don't have on paper that I'm not able to work for 2+years. Without it saying permanently unemployable, or at least 2 years unemployable, I will not get anything. And what I would be qualifying for is still in question (BPD) because obesity and general anxiety does not make enough of an argument to qualify for disability. I am being reassessed in 6 months from now, but I may not even get the full report by then, and the decision from the doctor may be that once again, he will only write down 1 year, and not 2+ years. Which means this hoping for a break will be all in vain.



I fourthly agree with the other ladies. Did your doctor diagnosed that you are also depressed, as well? If so, are you being treated? I'm not a doctor, but you sound really depressed and I think it is clouding your perception. You can only see the negatives. You don't even see the options you have in front of you. Which is very scary. It is very scary and dangerous to get to where you can't see hope.

Like I said, I'm not a doctor, but I think you need help with your mental state, like right now. I think you are in crisis, right now. Some people and some doctors don't take depression seriously. And, out of all the social problems there are, depression is almost always involved.
Is there a crisis line you can call?


----------



## CarlaSixx

I have been diagnosed with dysthymia, a type of depression, and have had the diagnosis re-assessed every year since I was 12. I am not, however, getting any treatment. Not by my choice. My doctor doesn't think meds will help, but I have been told to stay far away from alcohol, which has been difficult, but I've been doing great about that since November.

The psych I was seeing, but no longer am because I missed an appointment and am waiting to be re-added to the patient list, did not think I needed any kind of meds and wanted to take it slow. I don't outwardly show the signs of depression because I've had it for so long that I've learned how to just live with it, even if I don't want to. But I'm also not going to feign typical symptoms just to get the meds, either.

This has been a whirlwind thing for me since I was 10 years old. In and out of different treatments, and nothing helping at all. So I really don't know what can be done differently.

I _know_ I have depression, and so does everyone who knows me, but the doctors seem to not think so.


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that I may be warming up to talking on the phone! My job includes answering "tech" type questions or being a "help" line to employees at outlying branches. The past few days, I've received compliments on my voice ("I love your voice!") and my positive attitude (Hello, sunshine! and "I love it when your the one that answers the my call."). I've been working on my phone skills and these compliments have made me feel wonderful!


----------



## calauria

CarlaSixx said:


> I have been diagnosed with dysthymia, a type of depression, and have had the diagnosis re-assessed every year since I was 12. I am not, however, getting any treatment. Not by my choice. My doctor doesn't think meds will help, but I have been told to stay far away from alcohol, which has been difficult, but I've been doing great about that since November.
> 
> The psych I was seeing, but no longer am because I missed an appointment and am waiting to be re-added to the patient list, did not think I needed any kind of meds and wanted to take it slow. I don't outwardly show the signs of depression because I've had it for so long that I've learned how to just live with it, even if I don't want to. But I'm also not going to feign typical symptoms just to get the meds, either.
> 
> This has been a whirlwind thing for me since I was 10 years old. In and out of different treatments, and nothing helping at all. So I really don't know what can be done differently.
> 
> I _know_ I have depression, and so does everyone who knows me, but the doctors seem to not think so.



Ah!! So, this explains it all! You may need to change doctors. Ok, when you start seeing the new doctor, be assertive and more adamant about trying medication, because obviously, not being medicated has not done any good. You might have to try several to find out which works best for you. Explain your history to him/her, be assertive about that non medication has not been good, has no way helped you and that you want to try medication. Don't take no for an answer.

But, maybe to quicken up the pace, try calling the crisis hotline. I'm not sure your mental state can wait that long, since you seem to not see any hope. Have you had any suicidal thoughts?


----------



## CarlaSixx

calauria said:


> Ah!! So, this explains it all! You may need to change doctors. Ok, when you start seeing the new doctor, be assertive and more adamant about trying medication, because obviously, not being medicated has not done any good. You might have to try several to find out which works best for you. Explain your history to him/her, be assertive about that non medication has not been good, has no way helped you and that you want to try medication. Don't take no for an answer.
> 
> But, maybe to quicken up the pace, try calling the crisis hotline. I'm not sure your mental state can wait that long, since you seem to not see any hope. Have you had any suicidal thoughts?



Suicidal thoughts? Hmm... not as of late. Just feeling like I'm going to wither away in this place I live, but not thinking of killing myself, which is kinda new to me, lol. I think there's a crisis hotline but I don't think they can do much, really. I don't need to be hospitalized and I'm not suicidal, so they can't call up an ambulance and check me in.


----------



## calauria

CarlaSixx said:


> Suicidal thoughts? Hmm... not as of late. Just feeling like I'm going to wither away in this place I live, but not thinking of killing myself, which is kinda new to me, lol. I think there's a crisis hotline but I don't think they can do much, really. I don't need to be hospitalized and I'm not suicidal, so they can't call up an ambulance and check me in.



Well, maybe they can be able to get your medication, sooner. Try them and see. Explain to them your history and be sure to tell them that the non medicational approach has done no good!! I mean, your doctor is not taking your condition seriously. I think you need to change doctors. Call the crisis hotline, be assertive, let them that you need help now and fast, because your condition has been neglected for far too long. No wonder you feel the way you feel.


----------



## katherine22

CarlaSixx said:


> Suicidal thoughts? Hmm... not as of late. Just feeling like I'm going to wither away in this place I live, but not thinking of killing myself, which is kinda new to me, lol. I think there's a crisis hotline but I don't think they can do much, really. I don't need to be hospitalized and I'm not suicidal, so they can't call up an ambulance and check me in.




There is good treatment for depression. Research shows the best treatment is a combination of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with medication. Medication can get one over the hump but it is expensive and needs to be adjusted. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy can teach one to dispute thoughts that contribute to depression, as well as help with acceptance. There are many people who are in extreme emotional pain that live their values and have lives of meaning.


----------



## LoveBHMS

I'm not going to fifth or sixth this.

I'm not going to tell Carlasix to just give up, or agree with her that at 20 her life is over. On the other hand, none of us knows her or her situation, so sitting here behind the comfort of a computer screen giving advice and tossing out medical diagnoses about a situation we know nothing about is really not appropriate. Hitting somebody over the head about having a poor attitude, or insisting on a proper course of therapy for somebody you've never met is just unfair. While it is true depression can cloud judgement, she is still in the best position to asses her own situation. It seems to me at this point the most helpful thing anyone can do here is to just listen and let her know a helping hand is extended if she so wishes and to let her know help and advice are forthcoming if she wants them. For now I think we should just let her vent and offer a safe outlet for her feelings, and not possibly make her feel worse by criticizing her.


----------



## luscious_lulu

My post wasn't to beat her over the head or make her feel bad. It was about making her aware of her actions/words. I agree that the only person who can make a medical diagnosis is a doctor. Carla, can ensure that she is evaluated and if she is not happy with the diagnosis or treatment plan she can see another doctor.

Ultimately we are all responsible for our actions and our place in the world. We all have issues, but it's how we choose to act/react to what is given us. I suffer from major/chronic depression. I could sit at home and think the world cannot get better and spiral downward. I chose to get help and be proactive about my care. It wasn't easy, but I did it. Carla may not be able to work or do a myriad of other things, but she can take control of her life. She has that power. It may be scary or difficult, but she can do it. 

People here have listened to her and offered support and advice. Carla keeps shooting those suggestions and ideas. I think the posts after mine are from people who care about what happens to her, but are frustrated with her view that the world sucks and there is nothing she can do about it. 

Venting is fine, but when you put something out in the open you have to expect feedback. The feedback will not always be positive.

I want Carla to do well, I want her to be happy, I want her to succeed. I know to do this she needs to change the way she thinks/self talks regardless of her diagnosis. I hope she takes what has been said and uses it to help her improve her situation, not as a personal attack. 

I think Carla is a good person, but she is in a bad place. Sometimes you don't realize how bad it's gotten until you are told or are given a different perspective. That was my intent.


----------



## LoveBHMS

I understand that, and in no way do I think anyone had ill intentions. I just think sometimes it can actually be more frustrating when people give you shit about your attitude or offer suggestions that may or may not be appropriate for your situation. I'm sure everyone means well, I'm just saying I think there are other ways to respond to her posts. She's not "shooting down" suggestions, she genuinely feels they are either not valuable or offered by people who don't know her personally or understand where she is in her life.


----------



## Aust99

luscious_lulu said:


> My post wasn't to beat her over the head or make her feel bad. It was about making her aware of her actions/words. I agree that the only person who can make a medical diagnosis is a doctor. Carla, can ensure that she is evaluated and if she is not happy with the diagnosis or treatment plan she can see another doctor.
> 
> Ultimately we are all responsible for our actions and our place in the world. We all have issues, but it's how we choose to act/react to what is given us. I suffer from major/chronic depression. I could sit at home and think the world cannot get better and spiral downward. I chose to get help and be proactive about my care. It wasn't easy, but I did it. Carla may not be able to work or do a myriad of other things, but she can take control of her life. She has that power. It may be scary or difficult, but she can do it.
> 
> People here have listened to her and offered support and advice. Carla keeps shooting those suggestions and ideas. I think the posts after mine are from people who care about what happens to her, but are frustrated with her view that the world sucks and there is nothing she can do about it.
> 
> Venting is fine, but when you put something out in the open you have to expect feedback. The feedback will not always be positive.
> 
> I want Carla to do well, I want her to be happy, I want her to succeed. I know to do this she needs to change the way she thinks/self talks regardless of her diagnosis. I hope she takes what has been said and uses it to help her improve her situation, not as a personal attack.
> 
> I think Carla is a good person, but she is in a bad place. Sometimes you don't realize how bad it's gotten until you are told or are given a different perspective. That was my intent.



Well said Lulu... I understood what you were saying and I think Carla did too... everyone has been so supportive... :happy:


----------



## Tau

Punkin1024 said:


> IC that I may be warming up to talking on the phone! My job includes answering "tech" type questions or being a "help" line to employees at outlying branches. The past few days, I've received compliments on my voice ("I love your voice!") and my positive attitude (Hello, sunshine! and "I love it when your the one that answers the my call."). I've been working on my phone skills and these compliments have made me feel wonderful!



Yay you!! I love phone compliments too - specially since interacting with people on that medium isn't always the easiest and most pleasant of tasks


----------



## ashmamma84

LoveBHMS said:


> I'm not going to fifth or sixth this.
> 
> I'm not going to tell Carlasix to just give up, or agree with her that at 20 her life is over. On the other hand, none of us knows her or her situation, so sitting here behind the comfort of a computer screen giving advice and tossing out medical diagnoses about a situation we know nothing about is really not appropriate. Hitting somebody over the head about having a poor attitude, or insisting on a proper course of therapy for somebody you've never met is just unfair. While it is true depression can cloud judgement, she is still in the best position to asses her own situation. It seems to me at this point the most helpful thing anyone can do here is to just listen and let her know a helping hand is extended if she so wishes and to let her know help and advice are forthcoming if she wants them. For now I think we should just let her vent and offer a safe outlet for her feelings, and not possibly make her feel worse by criticizing her.



No we don't know the complete ins and outs of her situation, however we do know what has been put before us and it isn't the first time. I think it's natural to want to help someone who's hurting and frankly I don't think anyone is hitting her over the head - quite the opposite. This board of fat chicks are really pretty supportive of one another so sometimes that means being told things you don't necessarily want to hear. Its entirely different from criticizing, imo. If you just want to let her vent, then do that, but don't tell the other women what they should be doing when if fact they aren't berating her and just giving her a gentle nudge to take the reigns on some things. 

Also, if she doesn't want anyone to comment - I'm sure she would let everyone know. So far there has been a dialogue going on and I don't know why there would be an objection to that.


----------



## ashmamma84

luscious_lulu said:


> My post wasn't to beat her over the head or make her feel bad. It was about making her aware of her actions/words. I agree that the only person who can make a medical diagnosis is a doctor. Carla, can ensure that she is evaluated and if she is not happy with the diagnosis or treatment plan she can see another doctor.
> 
> Ultimately we are all responsible for our actions and our place in the world. We all have issues, but it's how we choose to act/react to what is given us. I suffer from major/chronic depression. I could sit at home and think the world cannot get better and spiral downward. I chose to get help and be proactive about my care. It wasn't easy, but I did it. Carla may not be able to work or do a myriad of other things, but she can take control of her life. She has that power. It may be scary or difficult, but she can do it.
> 
> People here have listened to her and offered support and advice. Carla keeps shooting those suggestions and ideas. I think the posts after mine are from people who care about what happens to her, but are frustrated with her view that the world sucks and there is nothing she can do about it.
> 
> Venting is fine, but when you put something out in the open you have to expect feedback. The feedback will not always be positive.
> 
> I want Carla to do well, I want her to be happy, I want her to succeed. I know to do this she needs to change the way she thinks/self talks regardless of her diagnosis. I hope she takes what has been said and uses it to help her improve her situation, not as a personal attack.
> 
> I think Carla is a good person, but she is in a bad place. Sometimes you don't realize how bad it's gotten until you are told or are given a different perspective. That was my intent.



This. Word for word.


----------



## CarlaSixx

I do understand the intent and am not mad at anyone for what they've said. Not in the least! It's nice to get support somewhere when I don't get any of it in RL. It's just hard to go from so many years of negative to a few days of positive and trying to keep up with that. It's not new to me to feel negative, because it runs in my family, and I live with a mother who deals with a negative outlook daily. Though, honestly, anyone living with her conditions will most likely have a negative outlook.

It's just impossible to go from how I feel to all of a sudden giddy with excitement and zest for life when there isn't much reason to be, and there isn't any proof of why I should be like that.


----------



## nettie

CarlaSixx said:


> I do understand the intent and am not mad at anyone for what they've said. Not in the least! It's nice to get support somewhere when I don't get any of it in RL. It's just hard to go from so many years of negative to a few days of positive and trying to keep up with that. It's not new to me to feel negative, because it runs in my family, and I live with a mother who deals with a negative outlook daily. Though, honestly, anyone living with her conditions will most likely have a negative outlook.
> 
> *It's just impossible to go from how I feel to all of a sudden giddy with excitement and zest for life when there isn't much reason to be, and there isn't any proof of why I should be like that*.



Carla,
I haven't had much time for the boards lately, but I have been touched by your willingness to "talk" about your struggles. The other ladies here have shared some great wisdom (and that's one of the things I love most about Dims), and the only thing I would add is to remind you that our thoughts are just thoughts. We don't have to give them power. We don't have to act on them or dwell on them. When we get caught up in those negative thoughts, or "thought tornados", it becomes very difficult to see or believe in anything positive or hopeful. But we are also all born with wisdom, the innate ability to be emotionally healthy. If you can step back from those thoughts and clear your mind, the answers will come to you in time. And you will feel healthier and more at peace.

You are right. Not every day is going to be one of those where we feel that zest for life. But we can learn to navigate the rough seas when we find ourselves there. Over the past year, as I've dealt with my divorce, I've often relied on this principle of clearing my mind when I feel overwhelmed or hopelessness creeps in. And I've come through stronger, happier, and more peaceful than I've been in years. 

And it's okay to let others help us, so I hope you are able to find a therapist who can guide you to feeling better.

((( Gentle Hugs )))


----------



## gypsy

CarlaSixx said:


> I have been diagnosed with dysthymia, a type of depression, and have had the diagnosis re-assessed every year since I was 12. I am not, however, getting any treatment. Not by my choice. My doctor doesn't think meds will help, but I have been told to stay far away from alcohol, which has been difficult, but I've been doing great about that since November.
> 
> The psych I was seeing, but no longer am because I missed an appointment and am waiting to be re-added to the patient list, did not think I needed any kind of meds and wanted to take it slow. I don't outwardly show the signs of depression because I've had it for so long that I've learned how to just live with it, even if I don't want to. But I'm also not going to feign typical symptoms just to get the meds, either.
> 
> This has been a whirlwind thing for me since I was 10 years old. In and out of different treatments, and nothing helping at all. So I really don't know what can be done differently.
> 
> I _know_ I have depression, and so does everyone who knows me, but the doctors seem to not think so.



Carla, I was diagnosed with dysthymia when I was 24 and the first thing my doctors did was get me on meds to help me cope. You should be getting a second opinion on that because I know from experience it's not a condition that just goes away on its own.


----------



## Tau

A day of mixed blessings. We were robbed today - 4th time this year - and I'm pissed and exhausted and scared and I'm buying a gun this weekend.

Then I just logged on to my gmail and not only did I just get paid for the book job i just completed I've been called into a meeting to discuss my portfolio with the events and comms manager of a major international organisation. I just... I'm so happy, just disbelieving and excited. What a crazy, amazing rollercoaster of a day. I NEED DRUGS!! 

And finally - I'm feeling super emotional so please don't mock me for this. I want to say a big thank you to the ladies of this forum and the lovely FAs who read it and send just fantastic messages and rep. I've told you guys stuff I have told absolutely nobody else in my life. I've been given so much support and encouragement and good wishes - and this should actually be main board because a number of FAs - male and female - have since day one of me being here just been sending just positive vibes and energy my way and I want to say thank you for being so willing to share the good of yourself and your joy and hurts and advice and hugz, virtual they may be *smishes you all* There's so many people here i cannot wait to meet


----------



## ashmamma84

Tau said:


> A day of mixed blessings. We were robbed today - 4th time this year - and I'm pissed and exhausted and scared and I'm buying a gun this weekend.
> 
> Then I just logged on to my gmail and not only did I just get paid for the book job i just completed I've been called into a meeting to discuss my portfolio with the events and comms manager of a major international organisation. I just... I'm so happy, just disbelieving and excited. What a crazy, amazing rollercoaster of a day. I NEED DRUGS!!



You and I need to take a girls trip away somewhere! You have been through SO much, chick! 

I know how it feels to be robbed. Happened to me years ago and I was screaming, crying, cursing the life of the bastard who took my valuables. I understand, I really do. Make sure to go to the range to practice once you purchase your Smith and Wesson. 

But! HOORAY on getting paid! And the meeting sounds great! Sounds like you're making moves on the career front! Congrats to ya'!


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Holy shit! (in the bad way) and
Holy shit! (in the good way).

Wow the conflict of emotions must be insane. I'm sorry you were robbed, I'm glad you're okay, I'm scared for you feeling it's come to the point where you feel you need to own a gun, but yeah you and the work front!

I say get your drink on girlie WITH FRIENDS!!! It's legal and even if you have a hangover in the morn, you won't think less of yourself. Depending on what you do while drunk that is - lol! 

Major huggles either way!!!


----------



## luscious_lulu

CarlaSixx said:


> I do understand the intent and am not mad at anyone for what they've said. Not in the least! It's nice to get support somewhere when I don't get any of it in RL. It's just hard to go from so many years of negative to a few days of positive and trying to keep up with that. It's not new to me to feel negative, because it runs in my family, and I live with a mother who deals with a negative outlook daily. Though, honestly, anyone living with her conditions will most likely have a negative outlook.
> 
> It's just impossible to go from how I feel to all of a sudden giddy with excitement and zest for life when there isn't much reason to be, and there isn't any proof of why I should be like that.



You are absolutely right, it won't happen overnight. It's going to take a lot of work. (((hugs)))


----------



## luscious_lulu

Tau said:


> A day of mixed blessings. We were robbed today - 4th time this year - and I'm pissed and exhausted and scared and I'm buying a gun this weekend.
> 
> Then I just logged on to my gmail and not only did I just get paid for the book job i just completed I've been called into a meeting to discuss my portfolio with the events and comms manager of a major international organisation. I just... I'm so happy, just disbelieving and excited. What a crazy, amazing rollercoaster of a day. I NEED DRUGS!!
> 
> And finally - I'm feeling super emotional so please don't mock me for this. I want to say a big thank you to the ladies of this forum and the lovely FAs who read it and send just fantastic messages and rep. I've told you guys stuff I have told absolutely nobody else in my life. I've been given so much support and encouragement and good wishes - and this should actually be main board because a number of FAs - male and female - have since day one of me being here just been sending just positive vibes and energy my way and I want to say thank you for being so willing to share the good of yourself and your joy and hurts and advice and hugz, virtual they may be *smishes you all* There's so many people here i cannot wait to meet



(((hugs))) That is quite the day. I'm glad that something good has happened to balance out the negative. You are a great person and deserve the best. :kiss2:


----------



## calauria

Tau said:


> A day of mixed blessings. We were robbed today - 4th time this year - and I'm pissed and exhausted and scared and I'm buying a gun this weekend.
> 
> Then I just logged on to my gmail and not only did I just get paid for the book job i just completed I've been called into a meeting to discuss my portfolio with the events and comms manager of a major international organisation. I just... I'm so happy, just disbelieving and excited. What a crazy, amazing rollercoaster of a day. I NEED DRUGS!!
> 
> And finally - I'm feeling super emotional so please don't mock me for this. I want to say a big thank you to the ladies of this forum and the lovely FAs who read it and send just fantastic messages and rep. I've told you guys stuff I have told absolutely nobody else in my life. I've been given so much support and encouragement and good wishes - and this should actually be main board because a number of FAs - male and female - have since day one of me being here just been sending just positive vibes and energy my way and I want to say thank you for being so willing to share the good of yourself and your joy and hurts and advice and hugz, virtual they may be *smishes you all* There's so many people here i cannot wait to meet



Sorry about the robbery. But congrats about the meeting!! Wishing you the best!! *hugs*


----------



## CarlaSixx

Tau said:


> A day of mixed blessings. We were robbed today - 4th time this year - and I'm pissed and exhausted and scared and I'm buying a gun this weekend.
> 
> Then I just logged on to my gmail and not only did I just get paid for the book job i just completed I've been called into a meeting to discuss my portfolio with the events and comms manager of a major international organisation. I just... I'm so happy, just disbelieving and excited. What a crazy, amazing rollercoaster of a day. I NEED DRUGS!!



Sorry about the robbing  That _really_ sucks.

But YAAAAY for the second part! Wishing you all the best  You don't need drugs  the second part is drug enough, silly :happy:


----------



## Isa

Tau said:


> A day of mixed blessings. We were robbed today - 4th time this year - and I'm pissed and exhausted and scared and I'm buying a gun this weekend.
> 
> Then I just logged on to my gmail and not only did I just get paid for the book job i just completed I've been called into a meeting to discuss my portfolio with the events and comms manager of a major international organisation. I just... I'm so happy, just disbelieving and excited. What a crazy, amazing rollercoaster of a day. I NEED DRUGS!!
> 
> And finally - I'm feeling super emotional so please don't mock me for this. I want to say a big thank you to the ladies of this forum and the lovely FAs who read it and send just fantastic messages and rep. I've told you guys stuff I have told absolutely nobody else in my life. I've been given so much support and encouragement and good wishes - and this should actually be main board because a number of FAs - male and female - have since day one of me being here just been sending just positive vibes and energy my way and I want to say thank you for being so willing to share the good of yourself and your joy and hurts and advice and hugz, virtual they may be *smishes you all* There's so many people here i cannot wait to meet



Sorry to hear about the robbery but extra happy on the job front, hope the good news continues to outweigh the bad.


----------



## BBW4Chattery

Tau said:


> A day of mixed blessings. We were robbed today - 4th time this year - and I'm pissed and exhausted and scared and I'm buying a gun this weekend.
> 
> Then I just logged on to my gmail and not only did I just get paid for the book job i just completed I've been called into a meeting to discuss my portfolio with the events and comms manager of a major international organisation. I just... I'm so happy, just disbelieving and excited. What a crazy, amazing rollercoaster of a day. I NEED DRUGS!!



Tried to send you a rep but not sure that it went through... so ditto what the others have said... so sorry about the robbery... that's so awful. 

congrats on the good news though!!


----------



## Punkin1024

Tau said:


> A day of mixed blessings. We were robbed today - 4th time this year - and I'm pissed and exhausted and scared and I'm buying a gun this weekend.
> 
> Then I just logged on to my gmail and not only did I just get paid for the book job i just completed I've been called into a meeting to discuss my portfolio with the events and comms manager of a major international organisation. I just... I'm so happy, just disbelieving and excited. What a crazy, amazing rollercoaster of a day. I NEED DRUGS!!
> 
> And finally - I'm feeling super emotional so please don't mock me for this. I want to say a big thank you to the ladies of this forum and the lovely FAs who read it and send just fantastic messages and rep. I've told you guys stuff I have told absolutely nobody else in my life. I've been given so much support and encouragement and good wishes - and this should actually be main board because a number of FAs - male and female - have since day one of me being here just been sending just positive vibes and energy my way and I want to say thank you for being so willing to share the good of yourself and your joy and hurts and advice and hugz, virtual they may be *smishes you all* There's so many people here i cannot wait to meet



I am so, so sorry you were robbed. That is a horrible thing to have to work through - physically and emotionally. On the gun - I had a police officer friend ask me if I really believed I could use a gun on a human being (hubby was grumping because I wouldn't practice firing a rifle he'd purchased) - I said no - he told hubby to not waste the time showing me how to handle a gun. I'm telling you this story to say - please ask yourself that question before spending money and time on a weapon. 

And...yea you on the good news on the book! You go girly!


----------



## Tau

Thanks so much ladies! 

As for using the gun - I don't want to sound cold or anything but I know that I could point it at another human being and pull the trigger, no hesitation. I've been in several ugly situations and when it comes to my safety over somebody's who is attacking me - I always choose me  I'm not trying to claim it will be easy - I cry when we slaughter cows at home - but I will do it.


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC I had some fun chemistry with a guy in an elevator today. He's quite big, really tall - maybe 6'3"? and probably about 400 lbs. I'd seen him around campus - since my brain unintentionally seem to keep tabs on all the fat people at my school (there aren't many of us). Anyway, we ended up in an elevator together, and I made a little conversation, and there was definitely a little spark there. Doubt anything will come of it, tho I will be friendly to him when I see him around campus. But it's just always fun to feel that chemistry, and to know it's possible to have that kind of spontaneous connection!  Oh, and I have no idea why, but I decided to try and look smoking hot today. So I was wearing a dress, sassy earrings, and makeup when I encountered this mountain of a man. What luck! I'm usually looking like a bag lady when I run into guys.


----------



## aocutiepi

mcbeth said:


> IC I had some fun chemistry with a guy in an elevator today. He's quite big, really tall - maybe 6'3"? and probably about 400 lbs. I'd seen him around campus - since my brain unintentionally seem to keep tabs on all the fat people at my school (there aren't many of us). Anyway, we ended up in an elevator together, and I made a little conversation, and there was definitely a little spark there. Doubt anything will come of it, tho I will be friendly to him when I see him around campus. But it's just always fun to feel that chemistry, and to know it's possible to have that kind of spontaneous connection!  Oh, and I have no idea why, but I decided to try and look smoking hot today. So I was wearing a dress, sassy earrings, and makeup when I encountered this mountain of a man. What luck! I'm usually looking like a bag lady when I run into guys.



YUMMM.  Enclosed space, cute guy... chemistry... what's not to love?? Good for you!


----------



## BrownDown09

IC that I'm actually excited of going to school in the next few weeks so I can try on my make up and flirt with guys. Also, since I'm registering tomorrow, I'm going to go all out...I'm so lame


----------



## LovelyLiz

BrownDown09 said:


> IC that I'm actually excited of going to school in the next few weeks so I can try on my make up and flirt with guys. Also, since I'm registering tomorrow, I'm going to go all out...I'm so lame



Do it! Hope it goes great, and go get your flirt on!!!  School is awesome (and boys are just a small part of that...lol)


----------



## BrownDown09

Thanks!! Freshman year in college didn't go so well, I was so shy and hardly talked to anyone. I'm going to change this school year, and not be quiet girl in the corner. 
Education comes first though and.....boys come later on.


----------



## LovelyLiz

BrownDown09 said:


> Thanks!! Freshman year in college didn't go so well, I was so shy and hardly talked to anyone. I'm going to change this school year, and not be quiet girl in the corner.
> Education comes first though and.....boys come later on.



You have a great attitude.  Feel free to PM me if you want to bounce some ideas or thoughts about college-related questions or thoughts or anything. I loved my undergraduate experience. Hope you end up loving yours too!


----------



## crayola box

mcbeth said:


> What luck! I'm usually looking like a bag lady when I run into guys.



Haha! Bag lady is in the eye of the beholder. There was a day last week where everyplace I went I was hit on, asked out or flirted with, at one point I started checking for hidden cameras cause six guys in one day is was just strange. Especially given the way I looked, it was laundry day and errand day so I was in old jeans, over sized t-shirt that's usually for working out, greasy hair in messy bun, flip-flops, no makeup, no jewelry, and pretty much focused on what I was doing. Lol maybe the "I have more important things to deal with vibe" came off as sexy confidence...or maybe men just have strange tastes


----------



## Tau

mcbeth said:


> IC I had some fun chemistry with a guy in an elevator today. He's quite big, really tall - maybe 6'3"? and probably about 400 lbs. I'd seen him around campus - since my brain unintentionally seem to keep tabs on all the fat people at my school (there aren't many of us). Anyway, we ended up in an elevator together, and I made a little conversation, and there was definitely a little spark there. Doubt anything will come of it, tho I will be friendly to him when I see him around campus. But it's just always fun to feel that chemistry, and to know it's possible to have that kind of spontaneous connection!  Oh, and I have no idea why, but I decided to try and look smoking hot today. So I was wearing a dress, sassy earrings, and makeup when I encountered this mountain of a man. What luck! I'm usually looking like a bag lady when I run into guys.



Oh I do love mountainous men!! *happy sigh*


----------



## Tau

BrownDown09 said:


> IC that I'm actually excited of going to school in the next few weeks so I can try on my make up and flirt with guys. Also, since I'm registering tomorrow, I'm going to go all out...I'm so lame



Enjoy it! I miss my varsity days of crazy hair colour particularly badly


----------



## BBW4Chattery

I confess I think I'm built by Dr. Frankenstein.

I just saw a photo of me from the back and I'll be damned if I don't have a back FUPA above my ass. Who even knew that was possible?

It's like someone chopped me at the waist... and I'm fat on top, normal on bottom.


----------



## mszwebs

BBW4Chattery said:


> I confess I think I'm built by Dr. Frankenstein.
> 
> I just saw a photo of me from the back and I'll be damned if I don't have a back FUPA above my ass. Who even knew that was possible?
> 
> It's like someone chopped me at the waist... and I'm fat on top, normal on bottom.



OMG, I have to confess I'm DYING to know what this looks like and now I need to know if I have one too.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

IC I had to look up FUPA because I had no idea what it was.

IC I hate _hate_ _*HATE*_ internet dating. After my break-up last year with the last guy I'd met online, I swore to give it up and never spend time at it again. Which lasted about 2 months before I was online looking again. I recently joined a couple of dating sites for fat women and have been deeply disappointed with the selection of men in my area. From how they present themselves online, they don't seem very intelligent, don't have much to say for themselves (which usually tells me they're just looking for a casual hook-up), and most aren't what I'd consider good looking. I've received a few messages and 'flirts' from guys in other states, most of them over 50, which is a bit older than I'd prefer to date. Nor do I want to date anyone _that_ long distance. It's just disappointing, and it sucks. I can't believe I'm seriously pursuing it again.


----------



## calauria

thirtiesgirl said:


> IC I had to look up FUPA because I had no idea what it was.
> 
> IC I hate _hate_ _*HATE*_ internet dating. After my break-up last year with the last guy I'd met online, I swore to give it up and never spend time at it again. Which lasted about 2 months before I was online looking again. I recently joined a couple of dating sites for fat women and have been deeply disappointed with the selection of men in my area. From how they present themselves online, they don't seem very intelligent, don't have much to say for themselves (which usually tells me they're just looking for a casual hook-up), and most aren't what I'd consider good looking. I've received a few messages and 'flirts' from guys in other states, most of them over 50, which is a bit older than I'd prefer to date. Nor do I want to date anyone _that_ long distance. It's just disappointing, and it sucks. I can't believe I'm seriously pursuing it again.



I know, online dating Sucks with a capital S. I've given up on that nonsense.


----------



## Tau

thirtiesgirl said:


> IC I had to look up FUPA because I had no idea what it was.
> 
> IC I hate _hate_ _*HATE*_ internet dating. After my break-up last year with the last guy I'd met online, I swore to give it up and never spend time at it again. Which lasted about 2 months before I was online looking again. I recently joined a couple of dating sites for fat women and have been deeply disappointed with the selection of men in my area. From how they present themselves online, they don't seem very intelligent, don't have much to say for themselves (which usually tells me they're just looking for a casual hook-up), and most aren't what I'd consider good looking. I've received a few messages and 'flirts' from guys in other states, most of them over 50, which is a bit older than I'd prefer to date. Nor do I want to date anyone _that_ long distance. It's just disappointing, and it sucks. I can't believe I'm seriously pursuing it again.



Online dating is the absolute pits but I find myself tempted to go back to it now and then. Right now I'm kind of resigned to being single forever. I had lunch with my aunt two weeks ago - she says to me: Men are useless - never get married. Just make a baby with somebody intellligent and live with just you and your offspring! I was like  She's still reeling a little from a truly awful marriage so I tend to take what she says with a large helping of salt.


----------



## Tau

BBW4Chattery said:


> I confess I think I'm built by Dr. Frankenstein.
> 
> I just saw a photo of me from the back and I'll be damned if I don't have a back FUPA above my ass. Who even knew that was possible?
> 
> It's like someone chopped me at the waist... and I'm fat on top, normal on bottom.



LOL! I totally need a pic


----------



## indy500tchr

thirtiesgirl said:


> IC I had to look up FUPA because I had no idea what it was.
> 
> IC I hate _hate_ _*HATE*_ internet dating. After my break-up last year with the last guy I'd met online, I swore to give it up and never spend time at it again. Which lasted about 2 months before I was online looking again. I recently joined a couple of dating sites for fat women and have been deeply disappointed with the selection of men in my area. From how they present themselves online, they don't seem very intelligent, don't have much to say for themselves (which usually tells me they're just looking for a casual hook-up), and most aren't what I'd consider good looking. I've received a few messages and 'flirts' from guys in other states, most of them over 50, which is a bit older than I'd prefer to date. Nor do I want to date anyone _that_ long distance. It's just disappointing, and it sucks. I can't believe I'm seriously pursuing it again.



IC I hate this too but I feel like dating sites are the only place I am going to find guys who are interested in me since I've NEVER in my 32 years of life had a guy IRL show interest in dating me.....ever. I've always been the "fun fat friend".


----------



## thirtiesgirl

indy500tchr said:


> IC I hate this too but I feel like dating sites are the only place I am going to find guys who are interested in me since I've NEVER in my 32 years of life had a guy IRL show interest in dating me.....ever. I've always been the "fun fat friend".



Yeah, this is very true for me. The only place I've met men, besides the internet, is at work. I mean, it's where we spend 8 hours a day, so it only makes sense that we might expect to meet someone there. But working in education, I really haven't met a lot of guys I'd want to date. Largely because there are so many more women in the profession, but also because most of the guys I've met in education are either married with kids; divorced and extremely bitter; or very nerdy, socially awkward types who do ok in the classroom when they're teaching their subject matter, but are not very good at functioning around other adults. I've also heard about the occasional player or two (I've heard a _lot_ of stories over the years in LAUSD of some serious office hanky panky and bed hopping going on), but most of those guys seem to go for women who fit within the standard media-supported definition of what's "hot." Not that I'd want to date a player anyway, but the point is, there doesn't seem to be a lot of appreciation for fat women.


----------



## indy500tchr

thirtiesgirl said:


> Yeah, this is very true for me. The only place I've met men, besides the internet, is at work. I mean, it's where we spend 8 hours a day, so it only makes sense that we might expect to meet someone there. * But working in education, I really haven't met a lot of guys I'd want to date. Largely because there are so many more women in the profession, but also because most of the guys I've met in education are either married with kids; divorced and extremely bitter; or very nerdy, socially awkward* types who do ok in the classroom when they're teaching their subject matter, but are not very good at functioning around other adults. I've also heard about the occasional player or two (I've heard a _lot_ of stories over the years in LAUSD of some serious office hanky panky and bed hopping going on), but most of those guys seem to go for women who fit within the standard media-supported definition of what's "hot." Not that I'd want to date a player anyway, but the point is, there doesn't seem to be a lot of appreciation for fat women.



This is my life right here. I am a teacher and have no options. There are 5 men in my building...3 are married with kids and 1 is gay and the other one I am old enough I could have been his babysitter when I was younger. I am not about to even venture into the "divorced daddy" category.


----------



## CarlaSixx

The past two years, I've only had the internet as a way to meet people who might be interested in me. And all the guys I've been with before were actually from other cities, even if we met in RL before talking over airwaves. The worst part is that everyone is from other cities and wants to meet within a week or two. Since I don't drive and don't have friends inside my city, I need to plan things around that. Either they would come down to meet me, or I'd wait for a friend to be able to give me a ride up to their city. Which can sometimes take almost 3 months. No guy wants that, so I've been rather alone.


----------



## bobbleheaddoll

ic i am getting married this week to a wonderful man i met where???

on the internet 

the world is a big place...and you may not find your perfect someone in your own back yard. if you meet them and it is worth it you can make it happen.


----------



## BrownDown09

^Congrats!!!!

I didn't get to flirt, but this cute guy was eying me.

IC that I always wanted to write erotic literature....:wubu: and it will be ages for me to find the right man. Internet dating sucks for me....


----------



## LovelyLiz

bobbleheaddoll said:


> ic i am getting married this week to a wonderful man i met where???
> 
> on the internet
> 
> the world is a big place...and you may not find your perfect someone in your own back yard. if you meet them and it is worth it you can make it happen.



The internet is also a big place.  Where did you meet him?

Congratulations! Give us the story!


----------



## littlefairywren

bobbleheaddoll said:


> ic i am getting married this week to a wonderful man i met where???
> 
> on the internet
> 
> the world is a big place...and you may not find your perfect someone in your own back yard. if you meet them and it is worth it you can make it happen.



Oh how exciting! Congrats to the both of you, bobble. I hope you will be very happy :happy:


----------



## Punkin1024

bobbleheaddoll said:


> ic i am getting married this week to a wonderful man i met where???
> 
> on the internet
> 
> the world is a big place...and you may not find your perfect someone in your own back yard. if you meet them and it is worth it you can make it happen.



I am so happy for you! And yes, please tell us your story.


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC stumbling upon 5 articles in 2 days about Daniel Radcliffe and his new dating life and plan made me wish _very badly_ that he would find his way to me and be interested in me  I'm totally dreaming, but that's frikkin funny how these things randomly pop up. 

Example: Two local papers reported it, a tv show reported it, a Google search I did turned up another article and OUT Magazine published an article with him and OLJ and a friend told me to rush to check it out.

WTH? Lol. Oh how I wish this was a sign


----------



## bobbleheaddoll

Not alot to tell girls...

Found him online. He lives about 1.5+ hours from me...went up for a date and fell head over heels by the second one...crazy..i know..me? the catch and release girl...lol.

been seeing each other every spare moment since (the constant commuting is tough on both of us, but so worth it)...he is super sweet and adores me (he sends the best mushy text messages every day)  i adore him too :smitten: not to mention he is bhh...big handsome hotness. :eat2:
he gets along well with my daughter and my family really likes him. his family is wonderful and has really taken us in...

so rather than wait for no apparent reason, we decided to tie the knot. this week. lol. going to atlanta for the weekend for a mini-honeymoon. will be a grand adventure!

see girls...it can happen. be positive and get out there and date! you have to date a ton of maybies before you find the one...trust me. but just remember...they are only dates...go out just expecting a fun time and you will have one.  when you find the right one you will know it without doubt.

be who you are and love yourself. the right someone will notice and love you too! 

thanks for all of your support and best wishes.
michelle


----------



## MisticalMisty

bobbleheaddoll said:


> ic i am getting married this week to a wonderful man i met where???
> 
> on the internet
> 
> the world is a big place...and you may not find your perfect someone in your own back yard. if you meet them and it is worth it you can make it happen.



YAY! Congrats


----------



## jdsumm

bobbleheaddoll said:


> Not alot to tell girls...
> 
> Found him online. He lives about 1.5+ hours from me...went up for a date and fell head over heels by the second one...crazy..i know..me? the catch and release girl...lol.
> 
> been seeing each other every spare moment since (the constant commuting is tough on both of us, but so worth it)...he is super sweet and adores me (he sends the best mushy text messages every day)  i adore him too :smitten: not to mention he is bhh...big handsome hotness. :eat2:
> he gets along well with my daughter and my family really likes him. his family is wonderful and has really taken us in...
> 
> so rather than wait for no apparent reason, we decided to tie the knot. this week. lol. going to atlanta for the weekend for a mini-honeymoon. will be a grand adventure!
> 
> see girls...it can happen. be positive and get out there and date! you have to date a ton of maybies before you find the one...trust me. but just remember...they are only dates...go out just expecting a fun time and you will have one.  when you find the right one you will know it without doubt.
> 
> be who you are and love yourself. the right someone will notice and love you too!
> 
> thanks for all of your support and best wishes.
> michelle



Congrats and best wishes!!! I am so happy for you! Thanks for the encouragement


----------



## thirtiesgirl

bobbleheaddoll said:


> ic i am getting married this week to a wonderful man i met where???
> 
> on the internet
> 
> the world is a big place...and you may not find your perfect someone in your own back yard. if you meet them and it is worth it you can make it happen.



I agree that the internet is a big place that offers lots of possibilities, but I live in Southern California. Many men here have different physical standards than in other parts of the US. Not all, of course, but many. I'm not looking for men in other states because if I _do_ leave California, I want to leave on my own terms, not because I'm moving somewhere else for a guy. If the relationship doesn't work out, I'm stranded in a city and state where I may not want to be because it's not a choice I made solely for myself. Congratulations on finding your partner online. I think it's great and I'm glad you found success. But consider that not everyone else shares your experience because we live in different places and may want different things.


----------



## CastingPearls

bobbleheaddoll said:


> Not alot to tell girls...
> 
> Found him online. He lives about 1.5+ hours from me...went up for a date and fell head over heels by the second one...crazy..i know..me? the catch and release girl...lol.
> 
> been seeing each other every spare moment since (the constant commuting is tough on both of us, but so worth it)...he is super sweet and adores me (he sends the best mushy text messages every day)  i adore him too :smitten: not to mention he is bhh...big handsome hotness. :eat2:
> he gets along well with my daughter and my family really likes him. his family is wonderful and has really taken us in...
> 
> so rather than wait for no apparent reason, we decided to tie the knot. this week. lol. going to atlanta for the weekend for a mini-honeymoon. will be a grand adventure!
> 
> see girls...it can happen. be positive and get out there and date! you have to date a ton of maybies before you find the one...trust me. but just remember...they are only dates...go out just expecting a fun time and you will have one.  when you find the right one you will know it without doubt.
> 
> be who you are and love yourself. the right someone will notice and love you too!
> 
> thanks for all of your support and best wishes.
> michelle


I love mushy text messages. 

I'm so so happy for you. Best of luck.


----------



## BBW4Chattery

Tau said:


> LOL! I totally need a pic



At first, I was sort of completely terrified by the picture... but you know what, why not share it, this is my back fat situation and it traumatized me. I learned my lesson... don't look if you don't want to find out what's back there...

Also, have lots of replies for the online dating thing i'm going to type out now... Sending major hugs everyone's way. 

View attachment backfupa.jpg


----------



## CarlaSixx

I have a feeling that even though it took 3 times of taking this book out of the library to finish it, it's been a "Godsend" for me, finally hearing someone who's thoughts and past so closely reflect my own, and seeing how much others helped her... Kind of gives me faith that it might work out for me, too.


----------



## BBW4Chattery

indy500tchr said:


> IC I hate this too but I feel like dating sites are the only place I am going to find guys who are interested in me since I've NEVER in my 32 years of life had a guy IRL show interest in dating me.....ever. I've always been the "fun fat friend".



First, sending hugs, I understand the fun fat friend role very well.

I remember the first few guys who showed interest in me... I wasn't able to really connect that they were actually attracted to me b/c I was so used to not being the object of anyone's affection. I hated it when guys weren't interested and it freaked me out when they were... bleh. 

Anyway, sending hugs, I've been there and it's a screwed up place to be...



tau said:


> Online dating is the absolute pits but I find myself tempted to go back to it now and then. Right now I'm kind of resigned to being single forever. I had lunch with my aunt two weeks ago - she says to me: Men are useless - never get married. Just make a baby with somebody intellligent and live with just you and your offspring! I was like She's still reeling a little from a truly awful marriage so I tend to take what she says with a large helping of salt.



I tell my best friend (who is extremely intelligent, 170 iq) that I want him to give me a baby so I can have a chance at a smart offspring.  I don't know if I'm resigned to being single forever but I certainly have NEVER planned a wedding in my mind... I have no fantasies about the white dress, attendants, favors, or reception.



thirtiesgirl said:


> Yeah, this is very true for me. The only place I've met men, besides the internet, is at work. I mean, it's where we spend 8 hours a day, so it only makes sense that we might expect to meet someone there. But working in education, I really haven't met a lot of guys I'd want to date. Largely because there are so many more women in the profession, but also because most of the guys I've met in education are either married with kids; divorced and extremely bitter; or very nerdy, socially awkward types who do ok in the classroom when they're teaching their subject matter, but are not very good at functioning around other adults....



Please send me your nerdy, socially awkward ones... those are my favorite... my heart melts. I keep thinking if I just go back and work in the school system, I'll surely find myself a partner... I'll send you postage, just poke holes in their boxes and they'll be fine...



bobbleheaddoll said:


> ic i am getting married this week to a wonderful man i met where???
> 
> on the internet
> 
> the world is a big place...and you may not find your perfect someone in your own back yard. if you meet them and it is worth it you can make it happen./QUOTE]
> 
> CONGRATULATIONS!!! That's awesome! The mushy text messages part makes me go "awwwww."  Thank you for the warm fuzzies.
> 
> Hugs to everyone struggling. I just made (another) new okcupid profile last night. Chances are... I delete it within the week after the first crazy makes contact.


----------



## Aust99

thirtiesgirl said:


> Yeah, this is very true for me. The only place I've met men, besides the internet, is at work. I mean, it's where we spend 8 hours a day, so it only makes sense that we might expect to meet someone there. But working in education, I really haven't met a lot of guys I'd want to date. Largely because there are so many more women in the profession, but also because most of the guys I've met in education are either married with kids; divorced and extremely bitter; or very nerdy, socially awkward types who do ok in the classroom when they're teaching their subject matter, but are not very good at functioning around other adults. I've also heard about the occasional player or two (I've heard a _lot_ of stories over the years in LAUSD of some serious office hanky panky and bed hopping going on), but most of those guys seem to go for women who fit within the standard media-supported definition of what's "hot." Not that I'd want to date a player anyway, but the point is, there doesn't seem to be a lot of appreciation for fat women.





indy500tchr said:


> This is my life right here. I am a teacher and have no options. There are 5 men in my building...3 are married with kids and 1 is gay and the other one I am old enough I could have been his babysitter when I was younger. I am not about to even venture into the "divorced daddy" category.


Thirded.... same situation here... dammed teaching profession... lol


----------



## Tracyarts

" Please send me your nerdy, socially awkward ones... those are my favorite... my heart melts. "

Me too. I may not have a physical "type" but OMG, I was always drawn to the shy, nerdy guys like a moth to a flame! I rarely had much luck with them though until I met my husband. For some reason as much as I was interested in them, they hardly ever showed any interest in return.

Tracy


----------



## thirtiesgirl

BBW4Chattery said:


> Please send me your nerdy, socially awkward ones... those are my favorite... my heart melts. I keep thinking if I just go back and work in the school system, I'll surely find myself a partner... I'll send you postage, just poke holes in their boxes and they'll be fine...





Tracyarts said:


> " Please send me your nerdy, socially awkward ones... those are my favorite... my heart melts. "
> 
> Me too. I may not have a physical "type" but OMG, I was always drawn to the shy, nerdy guys like a moth to a flame! I rarely had much luck with them though until I met my husband. For some reason as much as I was interested in them, they hardly ever showed any interest in return.
> 
> Tracy



I'm not just talking about shy, nerdy guys here. I like shy, nerdy guys, too, but if they have deep-seated control issues, social anxiety disorder, or obvious symptoms of Aspergers disorder, they're really _not_ good relationship material. I'm talking about guys who have taught world history for the past 15 years and can't have a meaningful conversation with another adult without turning it into a history lecture. Algebra teachers who can't leave the dumb math jokes in the classroom and turn _everything_ into a math puzzle or word problem. This isn't just shyness and a little social awkwardness. These guys literally have no concept of how to have a conversation with another adult because they have no awareness, or very little awareness, of another person's feelings. That can be fine when teaching in the classroom, but it doesn't translate well to interpersonal relationships, and that's not the kind of guy I want to build a relationship with.


----------



## luscious_lulu

I've been chatting with a guy on msn for the past week or so. We have a date next weekend. :wubu:


----------



## AuntHen

luscious_lulu said:


> I've been chatting with a guy on msn for the past week or so. We have a date next weekend. :wubu:




Yay! Hope it goes great!


----------



## thirtiesgirl

IC I think I'm going to remain single forever. "Flirts" received today on the most recent dating site where I set up a profile: one from a black guy, username MC-something-or-other, who actually lives in Los Angeles (as opposed to the many "flirts" I receive from guys who live out of state), with 6 kids, currently living with 4 of them. Yeah...no. Two, a guy from Kentucky (see, what'd I tell you about the out of state thing?) claiming to be 55, who looks more like he's in his mid-/late-60s, and looks kind of like a bearded Colonel Sanders (maybe it's the Kentucky thing) in a Hawaiian shirt. Another no. Third "flirt" from a guy calling himself "Swamifun," east Indian with no hair in a pastel polo shirt, holding a cat in his lap, who claims he works in construction. I'd say that seems highly doubtful. To borrow a phrase from Giggles in the chat room, I think he has "a little sugar in his poo."

Where is my sweet, nerdy guy who maybe works in a helping profession - a social worker, a counselor or something...maybe works on his graphic novel in his spare time or plays bass in his band after work, has guitars, glasses, samplers and too many Stereolab CDs? Is that too much to ask? Even in a city where every hipster indie boy seems to go for the heroin-chic body type of girls like youtube star Cory Kennedy?


----------



## AnnMarie

IC I believe that you get from the universe what you put out to the universe. Life proves this to me every day. It's a good thing.


----------



## calauria

thirtiesgirl said:


> IC I think I'm going to remain single forever. "Flirts" received today on the most recent dating site where I set up a profile: one from a black guy, username MC-something-or-other, who actually lives in Los Angeles (as opposed to the many "flirts" I receive from guys who live out of state), with 6 kids, currently living with 4 of them. Yeah...no. Two, a guy from Kentucky (see, what'd I tell you about the out of state thing?) claiming to be 55, who looks more like he's in his mid-/late-60s, and looks kind of like a bearded Colonel Sanders (maybe it's the Kentucky thing) in a Hawaiian shirt. Another no. Third "flirt" from a guy calling himself "Swamifun," east Indian with no hair in a pastel polo shirt, holding a cat in his lap, who claims he works in construction. I'd say that seems highly doubtful. To borrow a phrase from Giggles in the chat room, I think he has "a little sugar in his poo."
> 
> Where is my sweet, nerdy guy who maybe works in a helping profession - a social worker, a counselor or something...maybe works on his graphic novel in his spare time or plays bass in his band after work, has guitars, glasses, samplers and too many Stereolab CDs? Is that too much to ask? Even in a city where every hipster indie boy seems to go for the heroin-chic body type of girls like youtube star Cory Kennedy?



All the replies I get are from a bunch of sex addicts. I'll probably be single forever and I really don't care. I'm just done!! LOL!!


----------



## thirtiesgirl

calauria said:


> All the replies I get are from a bunch of sex addicts. I'll probably be single forever and I really don't care. I'm just done!! LOL!!



I keep saying the same thing, but perhaps stupidly, I keep going back. I don't know why I do it. I wish I could stop.

...Well, that's not entirely true. I _do_ know why I do it, if I'm completely honest with myself. It's the stupidest reason of all. I don't want my mother to win. She can't win. She's spent all of her life trying to poison me against men and make me just like her: fearful and mistrustful of men, almost to the point of hatred. She may have her reasons, although she's certainly never shared them with me. But she hasn't had a man in her life since she was in her 40s, which was when she adopted me, and she's 85 now. So if she _does_ have reasons to fear and mistrust men, those reasons happened a long time ago in her past and she's had plenty of time to work through them. Which she hasn't done. Her sexual repression and mistrust of men are deeply ingrained and a constant in her life.

Which is why she can't win. I can't be like her. I can't emulate her pattern of repression and mistrust and consider myself an emotionally, psychologically healthy individual. Which is why I continue to look, to not completely give up on the dating scene. To my own detriment, perhaps, but I don't know any other way to be.

I made the mistake of sharing real feelings with my mom on the phone today, not something I've done in many years because she's old and sick and when I tell her how I truly feel, it always results in an argument. She has untreated borderline personality disorder and literally _can't_ identify with anyone's feelings but her own. The arguments aren't good for her in her poor health, so I try to avoid them. But I slipped up today and it resulted in an argument in which she made fun of my degree and my profession. She's a sad, bitter old woman who has alienated too many people around her, and that's definitely not what I want to become. But with her as my only pattern of observation, it's incredibly difficult to make other choices. Continuing to internet date is my one stab in the dark at trying to live a different life, to beat her at her own game and not become what she's become.


----------



## CarlaSixx

I'm the only one in my family without a life. Or a love life. And the only one who will openly admit to having a mental health problem and seeking help for it. Yet I'm the one who's having the worst time of their life. 

I don't see how that is fair. They're as happy with their lives as pigs in mud, dating and everything (even my parents), and yet are so effed up in the brain that they're too embarassed to even admit it, and here I am, making more effort for personal change than I ever had, and I'm the one struggling to keep myself alive and amused.

W.. T.. Ffffffffff!!!


----------



## mossystate

Little sad around the edges today...and some of the reasons are very silly and worthless to care about...but...still I care. * clicks ruby slippers *


----------



## Dmitra

Some days I feel like a hiker jumping around the bottom of the Grand Canyon trying to get the attention of a cosmonaut in the space station, romance-wise.


----------



## Tau

BBW4Chattery said:


> At first, I was sort of completely terrified by the picture... but you know what, why not share it, this is my back fat situation and it traumatized me. I learned my lesson... don't look if you don't want to find out what's back there...
> 
> Also, have lots of replies for the online dating thing i'm going to type out now... Sending major hugs everyone's way.



Thanks for sharing! I just wanted to say that I don't think you should be traumatised. We're all brainwashed into thinking only one kind of human shape is the right or beautiful kind - and that's nonsense. I remember the first time I saw the fat rolls on my neck  Chick I was like this  I went around covering my neck up, totally devastated that I'd been inflicting my fat head onto the world  And then when I joined the whole fat online community and realised that, shock!!horror!!! not only was I not the 'right shape' for potential sexual partners in the community I was also - wait for it - NOT FAT ENOUGH!! *iz ded from laughing* I was just bleak. There will always be some stupid mythical standard of looks that we have to look up to. You're an awesome person BBW4Chattery - just do you.


----------



## littlefairywren

luscious_lulu said:


> I've been chatting with a guy on msn for the past week or so. We have a date next weekend. :wubu:



Oooh, good luck with the date!!


----------



## Tau

thirtiesgirl said:


> I keep saying the same thing, but perhaps stupidly, I keep going back. I don't know why I do it. I wish I could stop.
> 
> ...Well, that's not entirely true. I _do_ know why I do it, if I'm completely honest with myself. It's the stupidest reason of all. I don't want my mother to win. She can't win. She's spent all of her life trying to poison me against men and make me just like her: fearful and mistrustful of men, almost to the point of hatred. She may have her reasons, although she's certainly never shared them with me. But she hasn't had a man in her life since she was in her 40s, which was when she adopted me, and she's 85 now. So if she _does_ have reasons to fear and mistrust men, those reasons happened a long time ago in her past and she's had plenty of time to work through them. Which she hasn't done. Her sexual repression and mistrust of men are deeply ingrained and a constant in her life.
> 
> Which is why she can't win. I can't be like her. I can't emulate her pattern of repression and mistrust and consider myself an emotionally, psychologically healthy individual. Which is why I continue to look, to not completely give up on the dating scene. To my own detriment, perhaps, but I don't know any other way to be.
> 
> I made the mistake of sharing real feelings with my mom on the phone today, not something I've done in many years because she's old and sick and when I tell her how I truly feel, it always results in an argument. She has untreated borderline personality disorder and literally _can't_ identify with anyone's feelings but her own. The arguments aren't good for her in her poor health, so I try to avoid them. But I slipped up today and it resulted in an argument in which she made fun of my degree and my profession. She's a sad, bitter old woman who has alienated too many people around her, and that's definitely not what I want to become. But with her as my only pattern of observation, it's incredibly difficult to make other choices. Continuing to internet date is my one stab in the dark at trying to live a different life, to beat her at her own game and not become what she's become.



Thats hard about your mother *big hugz* Just a question - have you tried a dating agency. My friends and I went to a few speed dating/ meet up events organised by a matchmaking agency in Joburg. Unfortunately we were absolutely the wrong demographic but if you find one that caters to what you're looking for in terms of things like age, profession, earning power etc you could have better luck than just being online. What was also cool about the dating agency is that you meet these people face to face, most of them aren't just there to score or have sex because they've committed money to it and you can get a real feel for the person, much better than you would online. At the one we went to there was dancing and food and games too so it was really good for mixing people together. We just didn't fit so it didnt work at all for us


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Tau said:


> Thats hard about your mother *big hugz* Just a question - have you tried a dating agency. My friends and I went to a few speed dating/ meet up events organised by a matchmaking agency in Joburg. Unfortunately we were absolutely the wrong demographic but if you find one that caters to what you're looking for in terms of things like age, profession, earning power etc you could have better luck than just being online. What was also cool about the dating agency is that you meet these people face to face, most of them aren't just there to score or have sex because they've committed money to it and you can get a real feel for the person, much better than you would online. At the one we went to there was dancing and food and games too so it was really good for mixing people together. We just didn't fit so it didnt work at all for us



I've tried speed dating once and didn't like it, but I have occasionally considered using a matchmaking type of agency. Not a matchmaker, per se, but a dating agency that, like you wrote, provides a specific service to match people with others who share their interests, fit what they're looking for, etc. I've done some online browsing for a few in my area, but I'm too broke right now to afford their services. They're not inexpensive. I'm a little afraid, though, that if I were to meet with the dating service people, they'd try to tell me to change my looks, lose weight, look more "socially acceptable" or I'll "never find a date." That kind of b.s. In browsing dating agencies online, most of the ones I found seemed a little too 'vanilla,' and not very open-minded to people with more non-standard personal style and perhaps a slightly twisted outlook on life that differs from the norm. That could just be my assumption, though. I haven't tried it, so I can't know for sure. Once my summer break is over and I'm getting a regular paycheck again, I may have to give it a chance.


----------



## luscious_lulu

I suck at flirting


----------



## spiritangel

luscious_lulu said:


> I suck at flirting



me too think we need a how to flirt thread so the experts can fill us in :-D


IC I woke up feeling like the cat who swallowed the cream, that whole stretchy I have spent the night snuggling with someone feeling woke up in an amazing mood as well. 

the weird part no one but me here and I am single ?????


----------



## thirtiesgirl

luscious_lulu said:


> I suck at flirting



You and me both. I do ok online when I have time to think of a response and it's just verbal flirting, but in person? Fuhgedaboutit. Funnily enough, a lesbian friend of mine is one of the best women I know at flirting with men. She isn't big on the verbal sparring type of flirting. She may tease a guy a little, but she doesn't overdo it. She always makes sure she stands or sits as close to a guy as she can, looks him in the eye, smiles a lot, and maintains a lot of gentle physical contact - like constantly touching his hand or arm. She'll touch her hair occasionally, too, or subtly play with the neckline of her top, or touch her bracelets if she's wearing any. I've observed her do it at clubs and bars and she has guys practically eating out of her hand (so to speak). I've tried to emulate her, but it just doesn't come naturally to me and I feel very uncomfortable doing it. I have no suaveness when it comes to that kind of thing.


----------



## Jes

ashmamma84 said:


> I absolutely agree with this. If you're a total bitch that makes two of us.
> 
> .



No. 3 here. Yikes. And I do mean YIKES. I don't think I've ever encountered someone who so staunchly comes from a place of No as I've just read here. Never in my whole life.

Ever heard of Butch Lumpkin? He plays an amazing game of golf and is a full-time tennis pro at the club near his house. And he DOESN'T HAVE ANY ARMS.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

luscious_lulu said:


> I suck at flirting





thirtiesgirl said:


> You and me both. I do ok online when I have time to think of a response and it's just verbal flirting, but in person? Fuhgedaboutit. Funnily enough, a lesbian friend of mine is one of the best women I know at flirting with men. She isn't big on the verbal sparring type of flirting. She may tease a guy a little, but she doesn't overdo it. She always makes sure she stands or sits as close to a guy as she can, looks him in the eye, smiles a lot, and maintains a lot of gentle physical contact - like constantly touching his hand or arm. She'll touch her hair occasionally, too, or subtly play with the neckline of her top, or touch her bracelets if she's wearing any. I've observed her do it at clubs and bars and she has guys practically eating out of her hand (so to speak). I've tried to emulate her, but it just doesn't come naturally to me and I feel very uncomfortable doing it. I have no suaveness when it comes to that kind of thing.




Oh man, I have almost the exact opposite situation. When I see ads for "How To Flirt" classes/courses the concept truly befuddles. Flirting comes so blessed naturally to me, I do so without even thinking most times. I have to make a concerted effort to NOT come off as flirtatious, when I truly don't want it to look as such.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

OneWickedAngel said:


> Oh man, I have almost the exact opposite situation. When I see ads for "How To Flirt" classes/courses the concept truly befuddles. Flirting comes so blessed naturally to me, I do so without even thinking most times. I have to make a concerted effort to NOT come off as flirtatious, when I truly don't want it to look as such.



I'm curious. Did you see older women, like role model women to you, engage in naturally flirtatious behavior around men when you were younger? In my case, I didn't. My mom had a deep mistrust of men, almost to the point of hatred. There weren't any men in her life during the 20 years I lived in her house, and certainly none after. So I never observed how she acted around men, aside from a general passivity around the husbands of some of her friends. I always thought that if my mom hadn't mistrusted men and had more men in her life, I might have ended up with some ability to flirt; if not expertly, at least more than I do now.


----------



## luscious_lulu

I'm actually not bad in person, but online I totally suck @ it. Thankfully the guy I'm chatting with is uber flirty & is making it easier for me.


----------



## CarlaSixx

OneWickedAngel said:


> Oh man, I have almost the exact opposite situation. When I see ads for "How To Flirt" classes/courses the concept truly befuddles. Flirting comes so blessed naturally to me, I do so without even thinking most times. I have to make a concerted effort to NOT come off as flirtatious, when I truly don't want it to look as such.



I have the same problem, apparently. I used to be called a flirt in high school and a guy I liked called me a "tease with a capital T!"  Needless to say, I was shocked because I didn't understand HOW I was a flirt. Up until high school I was always one of the guys and assumed my way of acting around them was like that. I guess they weren't used to girls who can put up with the immature potty jokes of men and took that as flirting or something  

I still get called a flirt but I don't see how I am one! I don't talk in a flirtatious manner and I don't use words like "hun, sweetie, etc." Those things would feel too forced. But they call me a flirt, anyways.

I never had female role models growing up. Most of my teachers were men and the only woman around me was my mother. She was a very shy and reserved type. To this day, I am still her total opposite. So I know that if I actually do have any flirting skills, it didn't come from her.

I didn't have any female friends until mid ninth grade, and even then, it was because I was friends with the guys these girls wanted to date. Story of my life, actually 

Oh... and I don't like when guys act too flirty, either. Ick. Words like "hun, sweetie, etc" totally turn my stomach. I'm not a girly girl in the least bit, lol.


----------



## CastingPearls

OneWickedAngel said:


> Oh man, I have almost the exact opposite situation. When I see ads for "How To Flirt" classes/courses the concept truly befuddles. Flirting comes so blessed naturally to me, I do so without even thinking most times. I have to make a concerted effort to NOT come off as flirtatious, when I truly don't want it to look as such.


Flirting is as natural to me as breathing. When I was younger I had no idea that it wasn't the same for everyone else. I have a friend who's painfully shy and so beautiful inside and out and I try to encourage her. But what might be second nature to me is agonizing and frustrating to her.


----------



## mossystate

luscious_lulu said:


> I'm actually not bad in person, but online I totally suck @ it. Thankfully the guy I'm chatting with is uber flirty & is making it easier for me.



I just don't think there is one definition of ' flirting '. I mean, I see people who flirt and it seems so over the top - like they read somewhere how to do it. There are so many subtle actions and vibes that every person gives out...well, unless they are robots or beyond shy...and even then, you just never know what your audience will pick up on. I know that in one-on-one conversations with some men online, they have told me that there is something about me that defies all defintions of flirting...but they have felt they have been hit by a bus with Flirting shown as its destination. lol I am no Blanche Devereaux...my 'flirting ' is more subtle. I am sure you do fine.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

IC that I ended a relationship today and I called my mom immediately so that I can't go back on my decision during a moment of weakness.

Not sure how I feel yet, kinda numb...


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mossystate said:


> I just don't think there is one definition of ' flirting '. I mean, I see people who flirt and it seems so over the top - like they read somewhere how to do it. There are so many subtle actions and vibes that every person gives out...well, unless they are robots or beyond shy...and even then, you just never know what your audience will pick up on. I know that in one-on-one conversations with some men online, they have told me that there is something about me that defies all defintions of flirting...but they have felt they have been hit by a bus with Flirting shown as its destination. lol I am no Blanche Devereaux...my 'flirting ' is more subtle. I am sure you do fine.



I don't know how well I flirt. 

I've been told by a couple guys I'm "sensual." What ever the f- that means.



fatgirlflyin said:


> IC that I ended a relationship today and I called my mom immediately so that I can't go back on my decision during a moment of weakness.
> 
> Not sure how I feel yet, kinda numb...



(((hugs)))


----------



## mossystate

MizzSnakeBite said:


> I don't know how well I flirt.
> 
> I've been told by a couple guys I'm "sensual." What ever the f- that means.



Yeah, I think the whole notion of ' flirting ' might be silly more than anything? Eh, I don't know. Maybe like the whole ' sexy ' thing, people should just be themselves and not worry...cuz the defintions are always changing.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mossystate said:


> Yeah, I think the whole notion of ' flirting ' might be silly more than anything? Eh, I don't know. Maybe like the whole ' sexy ' thing, people should just be themselves and not worry...cuz the defintions are always changing.



Yup. 

When they tell me that, I just shake my head, 'cause I have no idea what they exactly mean. lol I'm just being me.

ETA: Plus, I'm not entirely sure I'd want to be all flirty and such. I'd be afraid to put out some signals that aren't exactly my intentions. IF that makes any sense. lol


----------



## OneWickedAngel

thirtiesgirl said:


> I'm curious. Did you see older women, like role model women to you, engage in naturally flirtatious behavior around men when you were younger? ..snip..


No, no role models at all. Almost all of the older women around me growing up were evil, man-haters (yes including my mother) or obvious prostitutes; I'm serious. It's all a product of learning by (opposite) example and me just being me. 



CastingPearls said:


> *Flirting is as natural to me as breathing*. When I was younger I had no idea that it wasn't the same for everyone else. I have a friend who's painfully shy and so beautiful inside and out and I try to encourage her. But what might be second nature to me is agonizing and frustrating to her.


^^^*THIS *^^^ This entire paragraph is me exactly on flirting.



mossystate said:


> Yeah, I think the whole notion of ' flirting ' might be silly more than anything? Eh, I don't know. Maybe like the whole ' sexy ' thing, _people should just be themselves and not worry._..cuz the defintions are always changing.


The Moss has spoken: quoted for truth!



MizzSnakeBite said:


> Yup.
> 
> When they tell me that, I just shake my head, 'cause I have no idea what they exactly mean. lol *I'm just being me*.
> 
> ETA: Plus, I'm not entirely sure I'd want to be all flirty and such. I'd be afraid to put out some signals that aren't exactly my intentions. IF that makes any sense. lol


It makes perfect sense.



fatgirlflyin said:


> IC that I ended a relationship today and I called my mom immediately so that I can't go back on my decision during a moment of weakness.
> 
> Not sure how I feel yet, kinda numb...


MAJOR HUGS. It gets a little worse before it gets better, but we do it does get better after a while.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

OneWickedAngel said:


> No, no role models at all. Almost all of the older women around me growing up were evil, man-haters (yes including my mother) or obvious prostitutes; I'm serious. It's all a product of learning by (opposite) example and me just being me.



Damn. Well, I guess my theory is shot to hell. I guess it's just me. I suck at interpersonal flirting and always will. It's not how I am around guys irl. Again, online, relatively anonymously, I can be good at verbal flirting. But in person, it's just not how I am.


----------



## AnnMarie

fatgirlflyin said:


> IC that I ended a relationship today and I called my mom immediately so that I can't go back on my decision during a moment of weakness.
> 
> Not sure how I feel yet, kinda numb...



Oh... E... THE relationship? or "a" relationship? I hope you're ok, honey.... Good thoughts your way.


----------



## MisticalMisty

AnnMarie said:


> Oh... E... THE relationship? or "a" relationship? I hope you're ok, honey.... Good thoughts your way.



Ditto what AM said E. Good luck.


----------



## luscious_lulu

fatgirlflyin said:


> IC that I ended a relationship today and I called my mom immediately so that I can't go back on my decision during a moment of weakness.
> 
> Not sure how I feel yet, kinda numb...



(((hugs)))


----------



## fatgirlflyin

AnnMarie said:


> Oh... E... THE relationship? or "a" relationship? I hope you're ok, honey.... Good thoughts your way.



THE and I will take all the good thoughts you can send my way.


----------



## mossystate

Sorry, ella.


----------



## calauria

fatgirlflyin said:


> IC that I ended a relationship today and I called my mom immediately so that I can't go back on my decision during a moment of weakness.
> 
> Not sure how I feel yet, kinda numb...



I'm so sorry. *hugs*


----------



## calauria

My type of flirting is kinda goofy and silly. I don't think guys even take me seriously because it's so ridiculous!! LOL!! I have a streak of immaturity, but I really enjoy pulling harmless pranks on cute guys. The expressions on their faces are priceless!!


----------



## littlefairywren

mossystate said:


> I just don't think there is one definition of ' flirting '. I mean, I see people who flirt and it seems so over the top - like they read somewhere how to do it. *There are so many subtle actions and vibes that every person gives out...well, unless they are robots or beyond shy...and even then, you just never know what your audience will pick up on.* I know that in one-on-one conversations with some men online, they have told me that there is something about me that defies all defintions of flirting...but they have felt they have been hit by a bus with Flirting shown as its destination. lol I am no Blanche Devereaux...my 'flirting ' is more subtle. I am sure you do fine.



That makes a lot of sense. I love flirting and being flirty, but the audience makes all the difference in whether it goes over well or not. 

I have been told that I am good at it, but I personally am not aware of when I do it sometimes, and that has gotten me into some odd situations. But then if I focus on flirting with someone I am really into, I feel kind of daft lol. 




fatgirlflyin said:


> IC that I ended a relationship today and I called my mom immediately so that I can't go back on my decision during a moment of weakness.
> 
> Not sure how I feel yet, kinda numb...



(((Hugs)))


----------



## Tau

@Ella - sending love and smishes


----------



## Tau

I suck at flirting - like totally suck. I'm either completely oblivious, stricken dumb with terror or exchanging nudie pics with said individual. I need some kind of middle ground .


----------



## Ruffie

I confess I am feeling a little sorry for myself for a decision I made earlier this year. Its going to be my birthday soon and our 25th anniversary after that. We discussed it and rather than have a party or go on a trip for the anniversary we decided to put the money into the much needed repairs on our house. We have had to replace eaves troughs, redo bedrooms, get new interior doors custom made for the house(old house have to have things custom milled) and so on. Now I am wishing that we could have done something cause its kind of anti climatic to not celebrate 25 years together and we don't even have the money to do anything other than a dinner out as hubby doesn't work for the summer(Educational Associate in a school) and we were using the savings for the rennos and extra living expenses. It hit me last night when my friend invited me to her brothers 25th anniversary party today, and I declined cause I hadn't originally been invited so would feel like a crasher but then realized it was also cause I would not feel too great knowing I wouldn't be able to do the same in three weeks time. I know I am being a big baby and this will pass but for now...*Puts on her pity party hat*


----------



## luscious_lulu

Ruffie said:


> I confess I am feeling a little sorry for myself for a decision I made earlier this year. Its going to be my birthday soon and our 25th anniversary after that. We discussed it and rather than have a party or go on a trip for the anniversary we decided to put the money into the much needed repairs on our house. We have had to replace eaves troughs, redo bedrooms, get new interior doors custom made for the house(old house have to have things custom milled) and so on. Now I am wishing that we could have done something cause its kind of anti climatic to not celebrate 25 years together and we don't even have the money to do anything other than a dinner out as hubby doesn't work for the summer(Educational Associate in a school) and we were using the savings for the rennos and extra living expenses. It hit me last night when my friend invited me to her brothers 25th anniversary party today, and I declined cause I hadn't originally been invited so would feel like a crasher but then realized it was also cause I would not feel too great knowing I wouldn't be able to do the same in three weeks time. I know I am being a big baby and this will pass but for now...*Puts on her pity party hat*



(((hugs)))


----------



## LovelyLiz

Ruffie said:


> I confess I am feeling a little sorry for myself for a decision I made earlier this year. Its going to be my birthday soon and our 25th anniversary after that. We discussed it and rather than have a party or go on a trip for the anniversary we decided to put the money into the much needed repairs on our house. We have had to replace eaves troughs, redo bedrooms, get new interior doors custom made for the house(old house have to have things custom milled) and so on. Now I am wishing that we could have done something cause its kind of anti climatic to not celebrate 25 years together and we don't even have the money to do anything other than a dinner out as hubby doesn't work for the summer(Educational Associate in a school) and we were using the savings for the rennos and extra living expenses. It hit me last night when my friend invited me to her brothers 25th anniversary party today, and I declined cause I hadn't originally been invited so would feel like a crasher but then realized it was also cause I would not feel too great knowing I wouldn't be able to do the same in three weeks time. I know I am being a big baby and this will pass but for now...*Puts on her pity party hat*



Consider me a guest at your pity party. Sorry, Ruffie!  Life totally sucks sometimes.


----------



## spiritangel

Ruffie said:


> I confess I am feeling a little sorry for myself for a decision I made earlier this year. Its going to be my birthday soon and our 25th anniversary after that. We discussed it and rather than have a party or go on a trip for the anniversary we decided to put the money into the much needed repairs on our house. We have had to replace eaves troughs, redo bedrooms, get new interior doors custom made for the house(old house have to have things custom milled) and so on. Now I am wishing that we could have done something cause its kind of anti climatic to not celebrate 25 years together and we don't even have the money to do anything other than a dinner out as hubby doesn't work for the summer(Educational Associate in a school) and we were using the savings for the rennos and extra living expenses. It hit me last night when my friend invited me to her brothers 25th anniversary party today, and I declined cause I hadn't originally been invited so would feel like a crasher but then realized it was also cause I would not feel too great knowing I wouldn't be able to do the same in three weeks time. I know I am being a big baby and this will pass but for now...*Puts on her pity party hat*



Hugs could you mayby do something like a bring a plate and whatever alcahol you want to drink thing?? say youd preffer that to pressies or some such??

just a thought

big squishy hugs


----------



## littlefairywren

Ruffie said:


> I confess I am feeling a little sorry for myself for a decision I made earlier this year. Its going to be my birthday soon and our 25th anniversary after that. We discussed it and rather than have a party or go on a trip for the anniversary we decided to put the money into the much needed repairs on our house. We have had to replace eaves troughs, redo bedrooms, get new interior doors custom made for the house(old house have to have things custom milled) and so on. Now I am wishing that we could have done something cause its kind of anti climatic to not celebrate 25 years together and we don't even have the money to do anything other than a dinner out as hubby doesn't work for the summer(Educational Associate in a school) and we were using the savings for the rennos and extra living expenses. It hit me last night when my friend invited me to her brothers 25th anniversary party today, and I declined cause I hadn't originally been invited so would feel like a crasher but then realized it was also cause I would not feel too great knowing I wouldn't be able to do the same in three weeks time. I know I am being a big baby and this will pass but for now...*Puts on her pity party hat*



(((Hugs))) Ruffie


----------



## ashmamma84

IC someone I really respected and admired is not who I thought she was. Very disappointing. And as much as I hate to say it, a lot of her credibility went down the drain. She was so put together in most areas of her life, or so I thought and now as more things come to light I really have a hard time believing much about her. If I could tell her and be honest I'd say to her - be careful what you say and do - you never really know who's watching. Oh and what's done in the dark, will surely come to light (and the shine might not be so flattering).


----------



## Ruffie

spiritangel said:


> Hugs could you mayby do something like a bring a plate and whatever alcahol you want to drink thing?? say youd preffer that to pressies or some such??
> 
> just a thought
> 
> big squishy hugs



Thanks to everyone for the hugs and support! 
Spiritangel thank you for the suggestion, but with the house in the middle of renovations and the resulting stuff piled up because of it not sure that could be an option(done in three weeks is tight) as the place is rather a mess right now.


----------



## Ruffie

ashmamma84 said:


> IC someone I really respected and admired is not who I thought she was. Very disappointing. And as much as I hate to say it, a lot of her credibility went down the drain. She was so put together in most areas of her life, or so I thought and now as more things come to light I really have a hard time believing much about her. If I could tell her and be honest I'd say to her - be careful what you say and do - you never really know who's watching. Oh and what's done in the dark, will surely come to light (and the shine might not be so flattering).



Ashmamma I am sorry to hear about what came to light for you. It is disappointing to have someone misrepresent themselves to you but remember this they are letting themselves down far more than they let you down. You probably saw the good in this person and chose to see the best and put away the other hints along the way. Shows how big your heart is girl!


----------



## BBW4Chattery

Tried to rep all with hugs, ran out of rep, stay strong sweet ladies.


----------



## Punkin1024

Ruffie said:


> I confess I am feeling a little sorry for myself for a decision I made earlier this year. Its going to be my birthday soon and our 25th anniversary after that. We discussed it and rather than have a party or go on a trip for the anniversary we decided to put the money into the much needed repairs on our house. I know I am being a big baby and this will pass but for now...*Puts on her pity party hat*



Ruffie - you don't know how much I totally understand how you feel. Next time, really think about what you really, really want (have fun)! Trust me, I've been there, done that and I'm still in pity party mode! Sometimes, life has a way of really, really putting a damper on romance and celebrations. ((((HUGS)))))


----------



## CarlaSixx

I went out to a friend's place for a lil party earlier tonight. It was just the kind of fun I needed. I also had my first ibt of alcohol in awhile and my first hit of weed in Gawd knows how many years. And strangely... none of it affected me. I wanted it to, and it didn't. Bummer. But it was good adult fun (clean besides alcohol and weed, too). I really did need some time to laugh, and I'm glad it happened with the people that were there. But I just wish substances would actually affect me like it does others. Well... sometimes I wish it. They seem to have a lot more fun. Or maybe they're just acting like it? I dunno.


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC That I liked he offered to come take care of me while I'm sick. *blushes*


----------



## littlefairywren

luscious_lulu said:


> IC That I liked he offered to come take care of me while I'm sick. *blushes*



Awww, that sounds so sweet :happy:


----------



## LovelyLiz

luscious_lulu said:


> IC That I liked he offered to come take care of me while I'm sick. *blushes*



Did you let him?

Hope you're feeling better soon.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

luscious_lulu said:


> IC That I liked he offered to come take care of me while I'm sick. *blushes*



Sounds like a good one.


----------



## luscious_lulu

So far he's been really sweet. I didn't take him up on his offer.


----------



## BBW4Chattery

luscious_lulu said:


> So far he's been really sweet. I didn't take him up on his offer.



Hugs and hope you feel better soon!


----------



## luscious_lulu

BBW4Chattery said:


> Hugs and hope you feel better soon!



THANK YOU!


----------



## LovelyLiz

BBW4Chattery said:


> Oh perfect, I'll try those first... thank you!



No problem. I made both of those - because I was doing a TON of online dating earlier this year, and really wanted to commiserate too! 

Also, judging from those thread titles, apparently I really like colons. Go, subtitles! :::::::::


----------



## BBW4Chattery

mcbeth said:


> No problem. I made both of those - because I was doing a TON of online dating earlier this year, and really wanted to commiserate too!
> 
> Also, judging from those thread titles, apparently I really like colons. Go, subtitles! :::::::::



Thanks, they're perfect. I am reading both right now with a glass of wine.

I do a whole lot of online looking. Ha. Not much dating.


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that often times (lately), I sometimes wish I weren't an old married lady. Especially feeling the "old" part. Eventually, I get over it, but right now, I'm not in a very good place emotionally and psychologically. Most people in my life don't realize this about me. I just don't have anyone I can share these thoughts with but in here.


----------



## littlefairywren

Punkin1024 said:


> IC that often times (lately), I sometimes wish I weren't an old married lady. Especially feeling the "old" part. Eventually, I get over it, but right now, I'm not in a very good place emotionally and psychologically. Most people in my life don't realize this about me. I just don't have anyone I can share these thoughts with but in here.



I am sorry you are hurting, Ella. Soft (((hugs)))


----------



## spiritangel

Punkin1024 said:


> IC that often times (lately), I sometimes wish I weren't an old married lady. Especially feeling the "old" part. Eventually, I get over it, but right now, I'm not in a very good place emotionally and psychologically. Most people in my life don't realize this about me. I just don't have anyone I can share these thoughts with but in here.



Huggles I have those moment where I look at myself and feel way old is why I dont take pics on those days

Try and remember that you are wonderful and have a lot of wonderful memories for the time you have been here


----------



## mermaid8

i confess that sometimes i starve myself all day just because i believe that food equals fat.

i confess that weeks will go by without me even looking in a single mirror.

i confess that there are times when my insecurity is so bad that i loose all train of thought, get dizzy, feel nauseau, and extreme anxiety.


----------



## spiritangel

mermaid8 said:


> i confess that sometimes i starve myself all day just because i believe that food equals fat.
> 
> i confess that weeks will go by without me even looking in a single mirror.
> 
> i confess that there are times when my insecurity is so bad that i loose all train of thought, get dizzy, feel nauseau, and extreme anxiety.



Hugs please dont torture yourself, it is hard when surrounded by a world that is very very anti fat to realise the inner truth of how amazing and wonderful we are, please please read through some of the threads I do hope Dimms is the start of your journey to self acceptance as it is so sad to hear of you doing these things to yourself 

oh and looking in the mirror and starting to see how beautiful you are is another great tool on the road to self acceptance


----------



## luscious_lulu

Punkin1024 said:


> IC that often times (lately), I sometimes wish I weren't an old married lady. Especially feeling the "old" part. Eventually, I get over it, but right now, I'm not in a very good place emotionally and psychologically. Most people in my life don't realize this about me. I just don't have anyone I can share these thoughts with but in here.



(((hugs)))


----------



## Ruffie

Punkin1024 said:


> IC that often times (lately), I sometimes wish I weren't an old married lady. Especially feeling the "old" part. Eventually, I get over it, but right now, I'm not in a very good place emotionally and psychologically. Most people in my life don't realize this about me. I just don't have anyone I can share these thoughts with but in here.



I have been there a time or two and I think most people who are married and aging take a look at themselves, For me it was the fact I went through a lot in my marriage and my husband is the only man I ever slept with. I would wonder when we were going through tough times what would have happened if I had stayed single and pursued my education, I wondered what it would have been like to be with another man and then realized that as I got older if I were to suddenly become single there would be no line up around the block for my attention. I cannot believe as I said to my best friends daughter that I will be married 25 years. I remember planning our parents 25th and 40th anniversaries and never imagining that I would be there myself. But here I am I made it. I have a job I love, a hubby, kids both biological and those that chose me as their mom, a home and great friends. I just have to focus on my blessings when I have feelings of sadness and eventually they pass. I hope that you are able to also focus on the positive in your life and feel better *hugs*


----------



## gypsy

fatgirlflyin said:


> THE and I will take all the good thoughts you can send my way.



*hugs* Ella...


----------



## BrownDown09

IC that I want to go out and do stuff but a little hesitant because of my size
IC that the people here in dims are so awesome and informative about anything.


----------



## Fat.n.sassy

I confess I fantasize about being with someone who appreciates fat women. I love my husband but he tolerates my fat (forget looking at me with desire) and would like me to lose weight. 

Now that I've read posts by men who actually appreciate fat women, I'm sighing and wishing! :wubu:


----------



## nettie

IC that while I was sick this weekend I finally started using the Instant Play from Netflix and spent hours watching MST3K, Season One of WKRP, and foreign films.


----------



## Punkin1024

Thank you ladies for all the hugs and positive thoughts. I'm feeling better about myself today. Did my walk and I'm working on putting a positive spin into my self-talk and private thoughts. I love this place!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

mermaid8 said:


> i confess that sometimes i starve myself all day just because i believe that food equals fat.
> 
> i confess that weeks will go by without me even looking in a single mirror.
> 
> i confess that there are times when my insecurity is so bad that i loose all train of thought, get dizzy, feel nauseau, and extreme anxiety.



I confess that this was how I felt/thought many years ago. 


Things can get better Mermaid.


----------



## mermaid8

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I confess that this was how I felt/thought many years ago.
> 
> 
> Things can get better Mermaid.



what helped you? what clicked for you?


----------



## mermaid8

spiritangel said:


> Hugs please dont torture yourself, it is hard when surrounded by a world that is very very anti fat to realise the inner truth of how amazing and wonderful we are, please please read through some of the threads I do hope Dimms is the start of your journey to self acceptance as it is so sad to hear of you doing these things to yourself
> 
> oh and looking in the mirror and starting to see how beautiful you are is another great tool on the road to self acceptance



i know and your so right, it is torture that's why i am here. i am trying to find out what worked for other women and maybe one or more of those things will work for me.


----------



## spiritangel

IC I feel emboldened and empowered by the comming spring, more comfortable in my own skin that I haver have and like I am truly stepping into my personal power and not hiding my inner light and I love it


----------



## Punkin1024

spiritangel said:


> IC I feel emboldened and empowered by the comming spring, more comfortable in my own skin that I haver have and like I am truly stepping into my personal power and not hiding my inner light and I love it



HUGS! This is so nice to see at the end of my day. Good for you!


----------



## spiritangel

Punkin1024 said:


> HUGS! This is so nice to see at the end of my day. Good for you!



thanks Punkin1024


----------



## CarlaSixx

I almost forgot I had laundry left in the dryers downstairs in my basement. I almost went to bed forgetting about the fact that 2 full dryers were left down there. I had left my clothes down there for 2 whole hours!  I have no idea where the HELL my mind was! But thankfully I remembered just in time. That could have been pretty ugly.

And yeah... I do my laundry really late at night. Apparently it's good for the environment, lol. So I was told at a Green Con. I've been doing it for 2 years thanks to that  My buiding actually had put a momentary ban on late night laundry runs because of me, but when a bunch of overnight worker folks complained and I went to them with the facts of laundry at night, they lifted the ban and changed the locks back to being suited for everyone's front door key. They also switched to high efficiency washers and dryers  So yay!

But yeah... thank GAWD I remembered it at the last minute or mom and I would have been screwed come morning and Gawd knows in how many ways!


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC it is currently 95 degrees in my apartment where I do not have air conditioning of any kind. But it's less than 3 weeks until I move into an apartment WITH A/C!!!! Looking forward to that in a BIG way.


----------



## Jes

mermaid8 said:


> i loose all train of thought, get dizzy, feel nauseau, and extreme anxiety.



well that sounds like lack of food too, right?

do you have a therapist? can you find one? do you go to a church? is there someone there who can help? 

the truth of the matter is that no one can help us, or should want to help us, more than we want to help ourself. Sharing your feelings here is a good start and you will find people who understand you, for sure, but working with a good therapist versed in body issues would be a really strong help to you, i think. 

good luck.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

mcbeth said:


> IC it is currently 95 degrees in my apartment where I do not have air conditioning of any kind. But it's less than 3 weeks until I move into an apartment WITH A/C!!!! Looking forward to that in a BIG way.



I can so identify. A/C is a must almost anywhere in LA. When I moved to the South Bay in '07, I thought I could get away without it. I spent one summer sweating it out with at least 8 fans in my apartment, but couldn't get cool. I bought my own A/C and had it installed the following year. I wasn't going to go through that again.


----------



## LovelyLiz

thirtiesgirl said:


> I can so identify. A/C is a must almost anywhere in LA. When I moved to the South Bay in '07, I thought I could get away without it. I spent one summer sweating it out with at least 8 fans in my apartment, but couldn't get cool. I bought my own A/C and had it installed the following year. I wasn't going to go through that again.



Yeah, I guess we're different in that respect - I've lived here since 1995 and usually don't have A/C. There are usually just handful of nights a year when it's really irksome - like last night. But usually I can adapt to it pretty well. I always tell myself I am one with the natural world.  (But I still use fans!!) Even when I am somewhere with a window/wall unit, I really will hardly ever use it. It's just nice to have on these very hot nights where at midnight it's still 80 degrees...


----------



## mermaid8

Jes said:


> well that sounds like lack of food too, right?
> 
> do you have a therapist? can you find one? do you go to a church? is there someone there who can help?
> 
> the truth of the matter is that no one can help us, or should want to help us, more than we want to help ourself. Sharing your feelings here is a good start and you will find people who understand you, for sure, but working with a good therapist versed in body issues would be a really strong help to you, i think.
> 
> good luck.



well those feelings aren't always from lack of food because they don't always happen on days when i don't eat properly, they happen even when i eat balanced and healthy.

no, i do not have a therapist and there are plenty in and around my neighborhood that i could go to for counsel. i am catholic, but after going to catholic schools from age 5 until age 18 and hearing their, "oh god gives the crosses to those who can bare them" speeches i'd rather seek a more rational approach (although i still believe in all that the catholic faith has to offer, i would rather leave this problem to a rational approach). 

you have a valid point, a therapist probably would help me work through my issues, but you see...i'm just too afraid to go to one. i'm afraid of my family finding out (they freak out over the littlest things and judge like crazy) and what if i couldn't handle working through my issues while trying to go to school, i would just die (not literally) if i failed at school (i have a fear of failure). i guess what i am saying is that i would go, but fear stops me.


----------



## BBW4Chattery

IC i'm finally letting the week's stress out one silent little tear at a time in the dark, on my couch, at 2 am... sucks a little but I'm glad it's coming out of me.


----------



## littlefairywren

BBW4Chattery said:


> IC i'm finally letting the week's stress out one silent little tear at a time in the dark, on my couch, at 2 am... sucks a little but I'm glad it's coming out of me.



Sometimes a good cry is just what we need. Hope it helps (((hugs)))


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC I'm equal parts frustrated, angry & sad. 

Things didn't work out with the guy I was chatting with, I'm bitter about work & I'm tired of being sick.

Oh, I'm also whiny.


----------



## CastingPearls

Sometimes, all we have to go on, is an internet hug and kiss. 
Sometimes, it is enough.
For now.
<sigh>


----------



## HappyFA75

luscious_lulu said:


> I've been chatting with a guy on msn for the past week or so. We have a date next weekend. :wubu:



I hope it goes very very well Lulu!! :happy:


----------



## HappyFA75

luscious_lulu said:


> IC I'm equal parts frustrated, angry & sad.
> 
> Things didn't work out with the guy I was chatting with, I'm bitter about work & I'm tired of being sick.
> 
> Oh, I'm also whiny.



There will be another, Lulu. Sorry to hear it did not work out. 

Also, doesnt sound "Whiny." You are understandably disappointed, and venting your frustration. Not being whiny!


----------



## luscious_lulu

HappyFA75 said:


> There will be another, Lulu. Sorry to hear it did not work out.
> 
> Also, doesnt sound "Whiny." You are understandably disappointed, and venting your frustration. Not being whiny!



Thanks

Things not working out with the guy actually bother me the least. It's work and being sick that is really getting to me.


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I've been mulling around with the idea of legally changing my name for about 3 years now, especially considering that the price to do so isn't all that high. The one thing stopping me is how my mother would react to it. 

I've been wanting to legally change my name to what my username here is ever since I was in grade 12. I first started in grade 10 wanting to change my last name, but then the year later when I figured my real name didn't suit me anymore, I was on a quest to find a new first name. In grade 12, it hit me in a dream. And my friends started calling me "Carla Sixx" when I did something worthy of a rockstar biography, lol. And that's when I decided it would be the perfect name, and have been stuck on it ever since.

The closest I have come to a name change is having it be my performance name and getting "Sixx" tattooed on my wrist, but I really do want to make it legal that way.


----------



## mossystate

For many years, I had wanted to change my last name to my Mom's birth last name. I wanted to honor her ( even though even that name is not truly hers, thanks to the stoopid crap of a man's last name being viewed as top dog ). I still think about doing it, but I will probably just keep the one I have. 

However, when I finally open my Etsy jewelry shop, the name will include my Mom's birth last name. I can't say what it will be, since I still need to register it there .


----------



## thirtiesgirl

I've often thought about changing my last name. I was adopted and have a very difficult relationship with my adoptive mother. She never married, so she carries her family name. Over the years, I've realized what a troubled, repressed family they are, and not one I want to be associated with by name if I can help it. I don't know my bio parents, and haven't made any efforts to find them yet (largely due to the cost of finding them), but I've always thought that if I ever found my bio mom and was able to establish a cordial relationship with her, I might want to change my last name to hers.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Things just get better <sarcasm>. I haven't had my period in six months, I thought I was never going to have it again and I was looking forward to it. Six more months and I'd officially have reached menopause... All for naught... The bitch is back...


----------



## CarlaSixx

luscious_lulu said:


> Things just get better <sarcasm>. I haven't had my period in six months, I thought I was never going to have it again and I was looking forward to it. Six more months and I'd officially have reached menopause... All for naught... The bitch is back...



My mom gets one every year to year and a half. She got tested to see if she actually was in menopause since she's over 50, and they've told her each time that no, she wasn't. It frustrates her because she never knows when it'll hit and can't do much about it.

As for last names, I don't speak to my father's side of the family because I cannot speak Spanish (they're in Central America) and I don't talk to anyone on my mother's side because they're rich snobby people. So I really don't like the association with either name, but at the same time, I know how much my mother faught for it. I'm gonna wait it out and see because I always wanted to change my last name if I got married, so I'll see if I meet anyone by the time I'm 25, which is only 4 years away, lol.


----------



## spiritangel

thirtiesgirl said:


> I've often thought about changing my last name. I was adopted and have a very difficult relationship with my adoptive mother. She never married, so she carries her family name. Over the years, I've realized what a troubled, repressed family they are, and not one I want to be associated with by name if I can help it. I don't know my bio parents, and haven't made any efforts to find them yet (largely due to the cost of finding them), but I've always thought that if I ever found my bio mom and was able to establish a cordial relationship with her, I might want to change my last name to hers.



I am also adopted, have an extremely complex family tree, so for anything I do that isnt an officual document I use my first and middle name like for my bears and readings and the like and drop my sirname, I like the energy better than having to choose from about 4 different sirnames mine so often go by Amanda Christina

hugs hope you find your way through the maze my sister and I are currently looking for our birthmother wich if we find her and she wants to meet us should be illuminating to say the least


----------



## thirtiesgirl

CarlaSixx said:


> My mom gets one every year to year and a half. She got tested to see if she actually was in menopause since she's over 50, and they've told her each time that no, she wasn't. It frustrates her because she never knows when it'll hit and can't do much about it.



My period schedule is much the same as your mom's, Carla, although I'm not near menopause or even pre-menopause yet. I've been tested for PCOS and always gotten negative results, so I don't know what my issue is. My period's always been irregular, though, even when I was a kid. I started off with regularity, and then I'd get it every other month...every two or three months, and so on, until I'm now to the point where I maybe get it once or twice a year. I was on birth control for several years, and of course had regular periods then. But since I stopped using BC, it's back to the irregularity. I just always make sure I have something in my purse, since I never know when it's going to show up. In fact, I just had a surprise two weeks ago when my period showed up after nearly a year of nothing. I was actually kind of happy for it to show up because I sometimes worry about how things are going with my lady parts, even though my doctor assures me everything's ok.


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC that things are a bit rough in my family now, and I have been numbing myself this week more than dealing with the feelings. Just over a week ago we buried my mom's sister, who was only 57. Then this past week my mom had a g-tube (feeding tube) put in because she's starting cancer radiation on her mouth/neck next week, and the pain from all the surgeries has made it hard for her to eat over the past several months, and the radiation will only make the pain worse. She's already lost about 40 pounds, and tho she's still somewhat fat, it's sad to see her getting smaller (since it's from the pain of the cancer surgeries; I wouldn't mind her shrinking otherwise). We went swimming when she was visiting a couple weeks ago (on her way back from seeing my aunt die), and she put on her swimsuit that she hadn't worn in a while, and it just hung off of her. It was heartbreaking.

And I'm an only child, and not really connected to my father, so my mom is kind of it for me in terms of close family. We have a good relationship.

I'm not usually one to run away from my feelings, but I've been so busy settling into a new job, finishing a summer course, doing research for a professor, and getting ready to move that I have just felt overwhelmed. But I hope now that I've allowed myself to see how much this other stuff is bothering me, I will deal with it and move through it, instead of letting it bubble beneath the surface.


----------



## spiritangel

mcbeth said:


> IC that things are a bit rough in my family now, and I have been numbing myself this week more than dealing with the feelings. Just over a week ago we buried my mom's sister, who was only 57. Then this past week my mom had a g-tube (feeding tube) put in because she's starting cancer radiation on her mouth/neck next week, and the pain from all the surgeries has made it hard for her to eat over the past several months, and the radiation will only make the pain worse. She's already lost about 40 pounds, and tho she's still somewhat fat, it's sad to see her getting smaller (since it's from the pain of the cancer surgeries; I wouldn't mind her shrinking otherwise). We went swimming when she was visiting a couple weeks ago (on her way back from seeing my aunt die), and she put on her swimsuit that she hadn't worn in a while, and it just hung off of her. It was heartbreaking.
> 
> And I'm an only child, and not really connected to my father, so my mom is kind of it for me in terms of close family. We have a good relationship.
> 
> I'm not usually one to run away from my feelings, but I've been so busy settling into a new job, finishing a summer course, doing research for a professor, and getting ready to move that I have just felt overwhelmed. But I hope now that I've allowed myself to see how much this other stuff is bothering me, I will deal with it and move through it, instead of letting it bubble beneath the surface.



McBeth that is such a huge load, you are very strong to be coping as well as you are, it is heartbreaking to watch anyone you love and care about go through the horror of the big c, much love to you and yours and many many hugs


----------



## littlefairywren

mcbeth said:


> IC that things are a bit rough in my family now, and I have been numbing myself this week more than dealing with the feelings. Just over a week ago we buried my mom's sister, who was only 57. Then this past week my mom had a g-tube (feeding tube) put in because she's starting cancer radiation on her mouth/neck next week, and the pain from all the surgeries has made it hard for her to eat over the past several months, and the radiation will only make the pain worse. She's already lost about 40 pounds, and tho she's still somewhat fat, it's sad to see her getting smaller (since it's from the pain of the cancer surgeries; I wouldn't mind her shrinking otherwise). We went swimming when she was visiting a couple weeks ago (on her way back from seeing my aunt die), and she put on her swimsuit that she hadn't worn in a while, and it just hung off of her. It was heartbreaking.
> 
> And I'm an only child, and not really connected to my father, so my mom is kind of it for me in terms of close family. We have a good relationship.
> 
> I'm not usually one to run away from my feelings, but I've been so busy settling into a new job, finishing a summer course, doing research for a professor, and getting ready to move that I have just felt overwhelmed. But I hope now that I've allowed myself to see how much this other stuff is bothering me, I will deal with it and move through it, instead of letting it bubble beneath the surface.



I really feel for you, mcbeth. Sending positive thoughts, and healing prayers to you and your family. (((Hugs))) for your sweet mother


----------



## Punkin1024

mcbeth said:


> IC that things are a bit rough in my family now, and I have been numbing myself this week more than dealing with the feelings. Just over a week ago we buried my mom's sister, who was only 57. Then this past week my mom had a g-tube (feeding tube) put in because she's starting cancer radiation on her mouth/neck next week, and the pain from all the surgeries has made it hard for her to eat over the past several months, and the radiation will only make the pain worse. She's already lost about 40 pounds, and tho she's still somewhat fat, it's sad to see her getting smaller (since it's from the pain of the cancer surgeries; I wouldn't mind her shrinking otherwise). We went swimming when she was visiting a couple weeks ago (on her way back from seeing my aunt die), and she put on her swimsuit that she hadn't worn in a while, and it just hung off of her. It was heartbreaking.
> 
> And I'm an only child, and not really connected to my father, so my mom is kind of it for me in terms of close family. We have a good relationship.
> 
> I'm not usually one to run away from my feelings, but I've been so busy settling into a new job, finishing a summer course, doing research for a professor, and getting ready to move that I have just felt overwhelmed. But I hope now that I've allowed myself to see how much this other stuff is bothering me, I will deal with it and move through it, instead of letting it bubble beneath the surface.



I am so sorry you're going through a rough time. Hugs and prayers for your continued strenth. You are one plucky lady, I know you'll come through this stronger then before.


----------



## jdsumm

mcbeth said:


> IC that things are a bit rough in my family now, and I have been numbing myself this week more than dealing with the feelings. Just over a week ago we buried my mom's sister, who was only 57. Then this past week my mom had a g-tube (feeding tube) put in because she's starting cancer radiation on her mouth/neck next week, and the pain from all the surgeries has made it hard for her to eat over the past several months, and the radiation will only make the pain worse. She's already lost about 40 pounds, and tho she's still somewhat fat, it's sad to see her getting smaller (since it's from the pain of the cancer surgeries; I wouldn't mind her shrinking otherwise). We went swimming when she was visiting a couple weeks ago (on her way back from seeing my aunt die), and she put on her swimsuit that she hadn't worn in a while, and it just hung off of her. It was heartbreaking.
> 
> And I'm an only child, and not really connected to my father, so my mom is kind of it for me in terms of close family. We have a good relationship.
> 
> I'm not usually one to run away from my feelings, but I've been so busy settling into a new job, finishing a summer course, doing research for a professor, and getting ready to move that I have just felt overwhelmed. But I hope now that I've allowed myself to see how much this other stuff is bothering me, I will deal with it and move through it, instead of letting it bubble beneath the surface.



(((Hugs))) to you mcbeth. I will keep you in my prayers.


----------



## BrownDown09

mcbeth said:


> IC that things are a bit rough in my family now, and I have been numbing myself this week more than dealing with the feelings. Just over a week ago we buried my mom's sister, who was only 57. Then this past week my mom had a g-tube (feeding tube) put in because she's starting cancer radiation on her mouth/neck next week, and the pain from all the surgeries has made it hard for her to eat over the past several months, and the radiation will only make the pain worse. She's already lost about 40 pounds, and tho she's still somewhat fat, it's sad to see her getting smaller (since it's from the pain of the cancer surgeries; I wouldn't mind her shrinking otherwise). We went swimming when she was visiting a couple weeks ago (on her way back from seeing my aunt die), and she put on her swimsuit that she hadn't worn in a while, and it just hung off of her. It was heartbreaking.
> 
> And I'm an only child, and not really connected to my father, so my mom is kind of it for me in terms of close family. We have a good relationship.
> 
> I'm not usually one to run away from my feelings, but I've been so busy settling into a new job, finishing a summer course, doing research for a professor, and getting ready to move that I have just felt overwhelmed. But I hope now that I've allowed myself to see how much this other stuff is bothering me, I will deal with it and move through it, instead of letting it bubble beneath the surface.



So sorry you're going through tough times, sending positives thoughts your way.


----------



## aocutiepi

mermaid8 said:


> well those feelings aren't always from lack of food because they don't always happen on days when i don't eat properly, they happen even when i eat balanced and healthy.
> 
> no, i do not have a therapist and there are plenty in and around my neighborhood that i could go to for counsel. i am catholic, but after going to catholic schools from age 5 until age 18 and hearing their, "oh god gives the crosses to those who can bare them" speeches i'd rather seek a more rational approach (although i still believe in all that the catholic faith has to offer, i would rather leave this problem to a rational approach).
> 
> you have a valid point, a therapist probably would help me work through my issues, but you see...i'm just too afraid to go to one. i'm afraid of my family finding out (they freak out over the littlest things and judge like crazy) and what if i couldn't handle working through my issues while trying to go to school, i would just die (not literally) if i failed at school (i have a fear of failure). i guess what i am saying is that i would go, but fear stops me.



The college I went to offered free on-site therapy and free-to-low-cost off-site therapy and your family/friends didn't have to know. It's something you can look into if you go to school. *Hugs*


----------



## Ruffie

mcbeth said:


> IC that things are a bit rough in my family now, and I have been numbing myself this week more than dealing with the feelings. Just over a week ago we buried my mom's sister, who was only 57. Then this past week my mom had a g-tube (feeding tube) put in because she's starting cancer radiation on her mouth/neck next week, and the pain from all the surgeries has made it hard for her to eat over the past several months, and the radiation will only make the pain worse. She's already lost about 40 pounds, and tho she's still somewhat fat, it's sad to see her getting smaller (since it's from the pain of the cancer surgeries; I wouldn't mind her shrinking otherwise). We went swimming when she was visiting a couple weeks ago (on her way back from seeing my aunt die), and she put on her swimsuit that she hadn't worn in a while, and it just hung off of her. It was heartbreaking.
> 
> And I'm an only child, and not really connected to my father, so my mom is kind of it for me in terms of close family. We have a good relationship.
> 
> I'm not usually one to run away from my feelings, but I've been so busy settling into a new job, finishing a summer course, doing research for a professor, and getting ready to move that I have just felt overwhelmed. But I hope now that I've allowed myself to see how much this other stuff is bothering me, I will deal with it and move through it, instead of letting it bubble beneath the surface.



Aww *Virtual Hug* You know when life is piling so much on your plate its really ok to take your time to deal. Like you said when you are ready you will take those things off your plate one at a time when it is the right time. Just make sure you take some time for you to be able to think, cry, hell just recharge. Cause taking care of you is tope priority so you can be good for everyone else.


----------



## LovelyLiz

spiritangel said:


> McBeth that is such a huge load, you are very strong to be coping as well as you are, it is heartbreaking to watch anyone you love and care about go through the horror of the big c, much love to you and yours and many many hugs





littlefairywren said:


> I really feel for you, mcbeth. Sending positive thoughts, and healing prayers to you and your family. (((Hugs))) for your sweet mother





Punkin1024 said:


> I am so sorry you're going through a rough time. Hugs and prayers for your continued strenth. You are one plucky lady, I know you'll come through this stronger then before.





jdsumm said:


> (((Hugs))) to you mcbeth. I will keep you in my prayers.





BrownDown09 said:


> So sorry you're going through tough times, sending positives thoughts your way.





Ruffie said:


> Aww *Virtual Hug* You know when life is piling so much on your plate its really ok to take your time to deal. Like you said when you are ready you will take those things off your plate one at a time when it is the right time. Just make sure you take some time for you to be able to think, cry, hell just recharge. Cause taking care of you is tope priority so you can be good for everyone else.



Thanks so much, ladies! Hugs back to all of you.  It's nice to be able just to vent sometimes, and know that other people feel for you, y'know? Thanks for being the caring people you are!


----------



## Lovelyone

mcbeth said:


> IC that things are a bit rough in my family now, and I have been numbing myself this week more than dealing with the feelings. Just over a week ago we buried my mom's sister, who was only 57. Then this past week my mom had a g-tube (feeding tube) put in because she's starting cancer radiation on her mouth/neck next week, and the pain from all the surgeries has made it hard for her to eat over the past several months, and the radiation will only make the pain worse. She's already lost about 40 pounds, and tho she's still somewhat fat, it's sad to see her getting smaller (since it's from the pain of the cancer surgeries; I wouldn't mind her shrinking otherwise). We went swimming when she was visiting a couple weeks ago (on her way back from seeing my aunt die), and she put on her swimsuit that she hadn't worn in a while, and it just hung off of her. It was heartbreaking.
> 
> And I'm an only child, and not really connected to my father, so my mom is kind of it for me in terms of close family. We have a good relationship.
> 
> I'm not usually one to run away from my feelings, but I've been so busy settling into a new job, finishing a summer course, doing research for a professor, and getting ready to move that I have just felt overwhelmed. But I hope now that I've allowed myself to see how much this other stuff is bothering me, I will deal with it and move through it, instead of letting it bubble beneath the surface.



I don't know you personally, but i am going to add you to my prayers. I know just how difficult it is to live a normal everyday life when you are watching someone you love going through this kind of experience. I went through a similar experience with my mom. 

I'd like to make a small suggestion to you--that you find and keep a portion of your day just for yourself (even if its just ten or fifteen minutes). For me it was 30 minutes that I spent reading, listening to my favorite music, scrap booking, or sitting on a park bench watching the ducks swimming in the pond. Also, at the end of every day I wrote out a list of ten things that happened during my day that I could be thankful for, no matter how small those things were--and believe me I had to scramble to find ten things on some days. I found that putting the focus on all the positive things that happened during the day instead of dwelling on the negative, helped to give me a different more enlightening perspective on things that were happening. 

I know at times it seems selfish to take those minutes for yourself but it can also be mind clearing, and for me was almost like recharging my batteries so that I could deal with everything that seemed to be overwhelming me. I read in a book that its hard to do things for others when you aren't taking good care of yourself. I believe that this also includes mentally and emotionally. At times I felt so emotionally drained that I didn't really feel as if I had anything more to give to anyone. I found these small moments to be rejuvenating and they truly helped me to keep a balance to my day and not to become so overwhelmed. I hope that you can find a balance to your life as well.


----------



## Tau

mcbeth said:


> IC that things are a bit rough in my family now, and I have been numbing myself this week more than dealing with the feelings. Just over a week ago we buried my mom's sister, who was only 57. Then this past week my mom had a g-tube (feeding tube) put in because she's starting cancer radiation on her mouth/neck next week, and the pain from all the surgeries has made it hard for her to eat over the past several months, and the radiation will only make the pain worse. She's already lost about 40 pounds, and tho she's still somewhat fat, it's sad to see her getting smaller (since it's from the pain of the cancer surgeries; I wouldn't mind her shrinking otherwise). We went swimming when she was visiting a couple weeks ago (on her way back from seeing my aunt die), and she put on her swimsuit that she hadn't worn in a while, and it just hung off of her. It was heartbreaking.
> 
> And I'm an only child, and not really connected to my father, so my mom is kind of it for me in terms of close family. We have a good relationship.
> 
> I'm not usually one to run away from my feelings, but I've been so busy settling into a new job, finishing a summer course, doing research for a professor, and getting ready to move that I have just felt overwhelmed. But I hope now that I've allowed myself to see how much this other stuff is bothering me, I will deal with it and move through it, instead of letting it bubble beneath the surface.



I am sending all the prayer and love I have your way and your moms way. I hope the radiation works for your mom and that she quickly returns to full strength. And McBeth this is a huge one so be gentle with yourself and deal with it any way you need to - even if for now you leave it at just a bubble under the surface *huge hugz*


----------



## Tau

Totally bitchy rant: my roomies have had their boyfriends over for the past 2 weeks and I like these boys but dear God I need my space back. tonight I thought I had the place to myself for the first time in a friggin month and in walk two totally new German dudes who're sleeping over cos they heading off to Cape Town on Tuesday. I genuinly cannot deal right now  I want to be able to walk around the house I'm fucking paying for naked without worrying that I'm going to trip over strange men on my way to the bathroom!! And the fucking mess! Ugh! Now I'm going to have to tell people off and I am not in the mood to get angry and do the whole boring girly confrontation thing. After my lease is over I AM NEVER SHARING ACCOMODATION WITH ANYFUCKINGBODY AGAIN *mutters* I'm actually too damn old for this crap.


----------



## luscious_lulu

mcbeth said:


> IC that things are a bit rough in my family now, and I have been numbing myself this week more than dealing with the feelings. Just over a week ago we buried my mom's sister, who was only 57. Then this past week my mom had a g-tube (feeding tube) put in because she's starting cancer radiation on her mouth/neck next week, and the pain from all the surgeries has made it hard for her to eat over the past several months, and the radiation will only make the pain worse. She's already lost about 40 pounds, and tho she's still somewhat fat, it's sad to see her getting smaller (since it's from the pain of the cancer surgeries; I wouldn't mind her shrinking otherwise). We went swimming when she was visiting a couple weeks ago (on her way back from seeing my aunt die), and she put on her swimsuit that she hadn't worn in a while, and it just hung off of her. It was heartbreaking.
> 
> And I'm an only child, and not really connected to my father, so my mom is kind of it for me in terms of close family. We have a good relationship.
> 
> I'm not usually one to run away from my feelings, but I've been so busy settling into a new job, finishing a summer course, doing research for a professor, and getting ready to move that I have just felt overwhelmed. But I hope now that I've allowed myself to see how much this other stuff is bothering me, I will deal with it and move through it, instead of letting it bubble beneath the surface.



That's a lot to deal with. (((Hugs))) 

I agree with Lovelyone, you need to take some time every day and do whatever lifts your heart/soul. You can also come here to vent and purge when you need.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mcbeth said:


> IC that things are a bit rough in my family now, and I have been numbing myself this week more than dealing with the feelings. Just over a week ago we buried my mom's sister, who was only 57. Then this past week my mom had a g-tube (feeding tube) put in because she's starting cancer radiation on her mouth/neck next week, and the pain from all the surgeries has made it hard for her to eat over the past several months, and the radiation will only make the pain worse. She's already lost about 40 pounds, and tho she's still somewhat fat, it's sad to see her getting smaller (since it's from the pain of the cancer surgeries; I wouldn't mind her shrinking otherwise). We went swimming when she was visiting a couple weeks ago (on her way back from seeing my aunt die), and she put on her swimsuit that she hadn't worn in a while, and it just hung off of her. It was heartbreaking.
> 
> And I'm an only child, and not really connected to my father, so my mom is kind of it for me in terms of close family. We have a good relationship.
> 
> I'm not usually one to run away from my feelings, but I've been so busy settling into a new job, finishing a summer course, doing research for a professor, and getting ready to move that I have just felt overwhelmed. But I hope now that I've allowed myself to see how much this other stuff is bothering me, I will deal with it and move through it, instead of letting it bubble beneath the surface.



I'm so sorry to hear this.  It always seems like things sort of just happen all at once. Try to take some time for yourself. (((hugs)))



Tau said:


> Totally bitchy rant: my roomies have had their boyfriends over for the past 2 weeks and I like these boys but dear God I need my space back. tonight I thought I had the place to myself for the first time in a friggin month and in walk two totally new German dudes who're sleeping over cos they heading off to Cape Town on Tuesday. I genuinly cannot deal right now  I want to be able to walk around the house I'm fucking paying for naked without worrying that I'm going to trip over strange men on my way to the bathroom!! And the fucking mess! Ugh! Now I'm going to have to tell people off and I am not in the mood to get angry and do the whole boring girly confrontation thing. After my lease is over I AM NEVER SHARING ACCOMODATION WITH ANYFUCKINGBODY AGAIN *mutters* I'm actually too damn old for this crap.



Ugh. I'd be livid too.


----------



## Punkin1024

Tau said:


> Totally bitchy rant: my roomies have had their boyfriends over for the past 2 weeks and I like these boys but dear God I need my space back. tonight I thought I had the place to myself for the first time in a friggin month and in walk two totally new German dudes who're sleeping over cos they heading off to Cape Town on Tuesday. I genuinly cannot deal right now  I want to be able to walk around the house I'm fucking paying for naked without worrying that I'm going to trip over strange men on my way to the bathroom!! And the fucking mess! Ugh! Now I'm going to have to tell people off and I am not in the mood to get angry and do the whole boring girly confrontation thing. After my lease is over I AM NEVER SHARING ACCOMODATION WITH ANYFUCKINGBODY AGAIN *mutters* I'm actually too damn old for this crap.



You go girl!! There comes a point in time where you just gotta put your foot down!


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Hugs to you mcbeth. It sounds like you're in the thick of it. I wish you strength through this tough time.


----------



## spiritangel

IC I am having a very blue day so far woke up wonky after a weird dream kinda woke up in the middle of it to, and feel very meh for no apparent reason hoping I can snap myself out of it


----------



## Punkin1024

spiritangel said:


> IC I am having a very blue day so far woke up wonky after a weird dream kinda woke up in the middle of it to, and feel very meh for no apparent reason hoping I can snap myself out of it



I've experienced the very same thing several times in my life. It's really a strange feeling waking up in the middle of an emotional, weird dream. So, I'm commiserating with you. Sometimes I don't know whether it's good to walk around all day feeling like you are in another world or not. Sometimes its a good thing...I think. Hope you're feeling yourself soon.


----------



## spiritangel

Punkin1024 said:


> I've experienced the very same thing several times in my life. It's really a strange feeling waking up in the middle of an emotional, weird dream. So, I'm commiserating with you. Sometimes I don't know whether it's good to walk around all day feeling like you are in another world or not. Sometimes its a good thing...I think. Hope you're feeling yourself soon.



hugs thanks sooo much, I am lucky a good friend called me and we talked it out she is psychic as well wich sure helps, and I feel a lot better about it still feel exhuasted wich is funny considering how much sleep I got and am happily emersing myself into bear and chore mode becuase I want at least 7 more bears for my upcomming show in november hoping for more than that though always feel like the more I have the more I may sell

and yes it is a very weird feeling especially as I dont dream often but when I do its like I am living that moment fully.


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC for some reason I hate it when people undershoot my weight and size. I had a discussion with my mother about it today and I was very frustrated because even her answers made no sense to me. 

I was telling her how much it frustrates me that people undershoot my weight by almost 100lbs (they guess me around 250 HA!) and when I tell them to guess my clothing size, they undershoot it by at least 3 dress sizes! But I don't see why.

Like how this one lady I know was shopping for home decor at a store and stopped beside me to tell me that my hair looked nice. I saw she was the same size as me. I actually asked her if I looked it and she responded "Gosh no. You look much smaller than me." And it made me get a wrinkle, lol. I told her to guess my dress size and she put me at a 24. I was crushed deep down for some reason, knowing my real size is a 30 and so is hers. When I told her, she refused to believe it. And I don't get WHY.

My mother explained that even though I'm wearing a large size, I wear my clothes differently than others. Low rise actually sits at my natural waist, about 4 inches above my belly button, though it's meant to sit much lower. Also, the way my shirts drape plays a role in it. It's not form fitting to show sausages, but it's also not too baggy nor too airy (think pixi hem stuff). I have a really flat stomach... it's muscular on top and hanging at the bottom, so it doesn't look as fat as it could, I guess.

So basically my mother was saying that since I have a lot of muscle, I'm built more solid, and look smaller even though I wear the same size. But how does that make sense? People can see a circumference. A 5x is a 5x. There's no way to undershoot that. Or is there? 



I know I'm overthinking it but it *really *bothers me! I would much rather if the image in the mirror and in the eyes of others matched the numbers on my tags and scale. I don't know why. People would kill to look smaller than they are, and yet... I'm totally hating it. I feel so.... Photoshopped, lmao!!!


----------



## CarlaSixx

spiritangel said:


> and yes it is a very weird feeling especially as I dont dream often but when I do its like I am living that moment fully.



Oh man... I wish I didn't dream often. I don't remember a single night in all my life where I haven't dreamed. And they vividness of them would scare most people. I do wake up sometimes having to ask my mother if I did or said a certain something just to make sure it was a dream. Luckily it's always been but it's still scary. I almost never feel like I'm rested because my dreams always feel like I'm living them. The worst is when my dreams are very physically active, because I wake up sore all over. I don't kick or run in my sleep (although I do have mild RLS) but I wake up feeling like I did all the activities in my dreams. Sometimes I even wake up with cuts and scrapes on my arms, legs, and hands with no reason. My mother can't even explain it and this has happened to me ever since I was a little child.

I'd gladly trade night time experiences with anyone who would like to dream, lol.


----------



## nettie

Just .... (((( big hugs )))) for everyone. I've gotten way behind in reading, and you all have been through so much lately. Much peace and love being sent your way.


----------



## Tau

I'm sitting in the office, trying to work, but all I want to do is go home, curl into bed and read my books. Everyone and everything feels like a mission to pay attention to - I just want to lose myself in that other world - its so much more entertaining then my current reality *wistful sigh*


----------



## thirtiesgirl

CarlaSixx said:


> IC for some reason I hate it when people undershoot my weight and size. I had a discussion with my mother about it today and I was very frustrated because even her answers made no sense to me.
> 
> I was telling her how much it frustrates me that people undershoot my weight by almost 100lbs (they guess me around 250 HA!) and when I tell them to guess my clothing size, they undershoot it by at least 3 dress sizes! But I don't see why.
> 
> Like how this one lady I know was shopping for home decor at a store and stopped beside me to tell me that my hair looked nice. I saw she was the same size as me. I actually asked her if I looked it and she responded "Gosh no. You look much smaller than me." And it made me get a wrinkle, lol. I told her to guess my dress size and she put me at a 24. I was crushed deep down for some reason, knowing my real size is a 30 and so is hers. When I told her, she refused to believe it. And I don't get WHY.
> 
> My mother explained that even though I'm wearing a large size, I wear my clothes differently than others. Low rise actually sits at my natural waist, about 4 inches above my belly button, though it's meant to sit much lower. Also, the way my shirts drape plays a role in it. It's not form fitting to show sausages, but it's also not too baggy nor too airy (think pixi hem stuff). I have a really flat stomach... it's muscular on top and hanging at the bottom, so it doesn't look as fat as it could, I guess.
> 
> So basically my mother was saying that since I have a lot of muscle, I'm built more solid, and look smaller even though I wear the same size. But how does that make sense? People can see a circumference. A 5x is a 5x. There's no way to undershoot that. Or is there?
> 
> 
> 
> I know I'm overthinking it but it *really *bothers me! I would much rather if the image in the mirror and in the eyes of others matched the numbers on my tags and scale. I don't know why. People would kill to look smaller than they are, and yet... I'm totally hating it. I feel so.... Photoshopped, lmao!!!



I get where you're coming from Carla. I sometimes have that issue when I describe myself as fat to people who don't know about size acceptance or they're not on board with it. They'll say things like, "oh, you're not _fat!_ You're just plump." Or "you're not _fat_, you just need to lose a few pounds." When I've discussed clothing sizes with them, they often can't believe what size I really wear and try to downplay it by telling me I don't look like I wear "that size."

What I've learned is that in their minds, they think they're being complimentary. In their minds, "fat" is a bad word and they still attribute all the negative connotations they've been taught to the word. Wearing a certain size or being a certain weight is "bad" in their minds, so they're trying to be complimentary by telling us that we really don't look like we weigh "that much" or wear such a large size. It's a backhanded compliment, yes, but their intent really isn't to be hurtful.

However, it _does_ minimize who we are and how we choose to define ourselves. Which is why I usually speak up when people try to downplay my fatness or the size I wear. I'll usually say something like, "fat isn't a bad word to me. It's just a descriptor of my size. It doesn't mean I'm slovenly, lazy or unattractive. I understand if you have a problem with the word and I don't expect you to use it, but I'd hope you'd allow me to define myself with the words I choose." Or "my weight (or clothing size) is just a number to me and doesn't say anything about who I am as a person. I understand you're trying to be complimentary by trying to minimize my weight (or clothing size), but I'd feel more complimented if you'd accept me as I am."


----------



## CarlaSixx

Thing is, though, that people aren't just being complimentary. They honestly think I'm a different size than I am. Even my mother can't properly tell and can't seem to believe I wear the size I do. And she lives with me! lol. She can't believe I'm heavier and yet wear smaller clothes than her. Well... sort of. She can't believe I'm heavier, and can't believe I'm close to her size is more like it lol.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

CarlaSixx said:


> Thing is, though, that people aren't just being complimentary. They honestly think I'm a different size than I am. Even my mother can't properly tell and can't seem to believe I wear the size I do. And she lives with me! lol. She can't believe I'm heavier and yet wear smaller clothes than her. Well... sort of. She can't believe I'm heavier, and can't believe I'm close to her size is more like it lol.



Carla your physical weight and your physical dimensions (size) or two very different things. It sounds like you and I have the same issue. Though we are fat, we're more muscle underneath. As such our dimensions bely our weight. I know women my weight who are sizes above me clothing wise. I also know one woman who is less than thirty pounds lighter than I, but because she's a body builder (and is 6'1"), she looks sizes smaller, though we're only a size apart. I didn't believe it either until I went shopping with her. She has to have everything tapered to fit her disgustingly small waist, but for her shoulders, arms and thigh yes, we're just a size apart. 

I guess the question to ask is why? Why does someone not being able to guess somewhere near your proper size gets to you so? 

I personally find it amusing. I am guaranteed a stuffed-animal when the travelling carnivals come around. No barker has come within forty pounds of correctly guessing my weight yet. I get off the scale, collect my stuffed animal, smile sweetly and walk away.


----------



## CarlaSixx

I really don't understand why it gets to me.  I wish I did, to be honest. Would it drive me to really become the size they think I am? Would I feel less like a freak if I looked more the size I really am? I really don't know. The weird part is that being as short as I am, usually fat looks even fatter. So from what I have come to know, my situation makes absolutely no sense.


----------



## littlefairywren

CarlaSixx said:


> I really don't understand why it gets to me.  I wish I did, to be honest. Would it drive me to really become the size they think I am? Would I feel less like a freak if I looked more the size I really am? I really don't know. The weird part is that being as short as I am, usually fat looks even fatter. So from what I have come to know, my situation makes absolutely no sense.



I am just under 5' 1" so I am a shorty like you, Carla. So fat on me looks more fat, than on someone who is taller obviously. No one can correctly guess my weight either, but that could be for many reasons. They are a bad guesser, the way my own body carries the weight (all in my hips, butt and thighs), the way my clothes fit etc. 

In the end, whether or not a stranger works out how much I weigh does not matter so much. I just happen to think they are clever if they get it right. And it could just be that, yes, they are being polite. Wait until you get to a certain age, and someone suggests you look older than you are lol.


----------



## isamarie69

IC. That theres this Adult store in my neighborhood thats always got a help wanted sign in the window, I could use the extra money and would be a great worker, But when i have shopped there the girls working are pretty and thinner and im afraid I would not get hired because im over weight being considered less attractive.


----------



## LovelyLiz

isamarie69 said:


> IC. That theres this Adult store in my neighborhood thats always got a help wanted sign in the window, I could use the extra money and would be a great worker, But when i have shopped there the girls working are pretty and thinner and im afraid I would not get hired because im over weight being considered less attractive.



You should totally apply! You would be great for that job - and in my experience, people who run/work at sex shops are more open to different types of people (after all, their clientele is pretty varied...), so I think they are more open to fat people, etc. And your personality would seriously be a great fit there. Go for it, Isa!

Plus, you could get me a discount.


----------



## littlefairywren

mcbeth said:


> You should totally apply! You would be great for that job - and in my experience, people who run/work at sex shops are more open to different types of people (after all, their clientele is pretty varied...), so I think they are more open to fat people, etc. And your personality would seriously be a great fit there. Go for it, Isa!
> 
> Plus, you could get me a discount.



I totally agree with this! You should apply for the job, besides, just imagine all the fun stories you could tell us lol. Get your mind out of the gutter, Kimberly!


----------



## thirtiesgirl

isamarie69 said:


> IC. That theres this Adult store in my neighborhood thats always got a help wanted sign in the window, I could use the extra money and would be a great worker, But when i have shopped there the girls working are pretty and thinner and im afraid I would not get hired because im over weight being considered less attractive.



Isa, you're a hot tamale and I think the store would do well to hire you. When I lived in the San Fernando Valley, I liked to shop at this little women-run adult toy store in Tarzana where the women were of many sizes and shapes. I felt comfortable enough to buy my first vibrator there because I was comfortable around the women in the store and didn't feel out of place when I went in to browse. Skinny people aren't the only ones having sex (...or so I've heard; it's been too damn long for _this_ fat gal ), and any good adult toy store knows that. Go for it and make sure they know that you'll help them keep business coming in.


----------



## isamarie69

thirtiesgirl said:


> Isa, you're a hot tamale and I think the store would do well to hire you. When I lived in the San Fernando Valley, I liked to shop at this little women-run adult toy store in Tarzana where the women were of many sizes and shapes. I felt comfortable enough to buy my first vibrator there because I was comfortable around the women in the store and didn't feel out of place when I went in to browse. Skinny people aren't the only ones having sex (...or so I've heard; it's been too damn long for _this_ fat gal ), and any good adult toy store knows that. Go for it and make sure they know that you'll help them keep business coming in.



Thanks, LOL I was kinda hoping they would want me to be a product tester  And think of the employee discounts!


----------



## CarlaSixx

From the experiences I've had at sex shops, the most frequented and trusted ones are owned by BBW and SSBBW women, and those who have BBW managers and workers get the most men visiting, even the gay ones  (it'S been said that fat women and gay men just go together, lol) so I think you should TOTALLY apply at the shop! I would definitely be working at one right now if they weren'T family run ones 

LFW, I actually do get told already that I look older than I am. People tend to peg me in the 30s or near them at least. Although if they see only my face and if I don't have makeup on, they peg me around 16. It's confusing to me, lol. But yeah... I do get told I look older than I am. Most of my friends are older (30s and 40s) and they often say they forget how old I am. Probably some of it is from the way I talk to them, too.


----------



## isamarie69

mcbeth said:


> You should totally apply! You would be great for that job - and in my experience, people who run/work at sex shops are more open to different types of people (after all, their clientele is pretty varied...), so I think they are more open to fat people, etc. And your personality would seriously be a great fit there. Go for it, Isa!
> 
> Plus, you could get me a discount.





littlefairywren said:


> I totally agree with this! You should apply for the job, besides, just imagine all the fun stories you could tell us lol. Get your mind out of the gutter, Kimberly!



How did i miss these? Thanks you guys for the encouragement. I called and they had said come in around mid September. LOL Maybe the right push up bra will show them we can be sex icons too  I know i know, don't get carried away lol.


----------



## LovelyLiz

isamarie69 said:


> How did i miss these? Thanks you guys for the encouragement. I called and they had said come in around mid September. LOL Maybe the right push up bra will show them we can be sex icons too  I know i know, don't get carried away lol.



Any sex store worker worth his/her wage already knows this.


----------



## isamarie69

CarlaSixx said:


> From the experiences I've had at sex shops, the most frequented and trusted ones are owned by BBW and SSBBW women, and those who have BBW managers and workers get the most men visiting, even the gay ones  (it'S been said that fat women and gay men just go together, lol) so I think you should TOTALLY apply at the shop! I would definitely be working at one right now if they weren'T family run ones
> 
> LFW, I actually do get told already that I look older than I am. People tend to peg me in the 30s or near them at least. Although if they see only my face and if I don't have makeup on, they peg me around 16. It's confusing to me, lol. But yeah... I do get told I look older than I am. Most of my friends are older (30s and 40s) and they often say they forget how old I am. Probably some of it is from the way I talk to them, too.



Thanks, Oh yes Fatties and gay boys are like peas and carrots. LOL I think its because they love boobs and hips, but mostly boobs, they always want to touch them or rest their heads.


----------



## CarlaSixx

isamarie69 said:


> Thanks, Oh yes Fatties and gay boys are like peas and carrots. LOL I think its because they love boobs and hips, but mostly boobs, they always want to touch them or rest their heads.



Lol! That's totally true! The only reason they go to strip clubs with women is for boobs, and I cannot go to the bar with my friends if I have cleavage. It's like they think it's free groping season or something, lol.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Correction 



mcbeth said:


> Any sex store worker worth his/her *WEIGHT* already knows this.



hee-hee!


----------



## LovelyLiz

OneWickedAngel said:


> Correction
> 
> 
> 
> hee-hee!



 Awesome 

I actually typed that initially, but then I was like, I want the thin ones to be worth a lot too!


----------



## CarlaSixx

I've got a troll on my website.  I'm a little proud of that because his commentary is a little stupid.

The strangest part is that I believe he's someone who messaged me on here looking for cam sex, and since I turned that down, he got all pissed. Ha. I'm sorry, but that's total loser behaviour.


----------



## Punkin1024

I've been staying up way longer than I should lately. Just can't seem to fall off to sleep, even when I walk that same evening. Tonight is no exception, but a have a reason...bad storm going on outside. Thunder just shook the house and knocked the walk clock down almost into my lap!  It also knocked a box of batteries to the floor! Sigh! Guess someone is trying to tell me to get some sleep. Goodnight ladies!


----------



## Tau

Punkin1024 said:


> I've been staying up way longer than I should lately. Just can't seem to fall off to sleep, even when I walk that same evening. Tonight is no exception, but a have a reason...bad storm going on outside. Thunder just shook the house and knocked the walk clock down almost into my lap!  It also knocked a box of batteries to the floor! Sigh! Guess someone is trying to tell me to get some sleep. Goodnight ladies!



Punkin don't sleep!!! Thunderstorms are ideal shagging weather!!


----------



## littlefairywren

Tau said:


> Punkin don't sleep!!! Thunderstorms are ideal shagging weather!!



LOL.....hell yes!!!


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC that I felt uncomfortable eating a bag of chips on the train home tonight. It really bugs me that I felt uncomfortable.


----------



## CastingPearls

Tau said:


> Punkin don't sleep!!! Thunderstorms are ideal shagging weather!!


YES THEY ARE!!!!


----------



## Punkin1024

Tau said:


> Punkin don't sleep!!! Thunderstorms are ideal shagging weather!!





littlefairywren said:


> LOL.....hell yes!!!





CastingPearls said:


> YES THEY ARE!!!!




Ladies LOL! Only if you have someone awake and willing and able. Sigh! 

Can't add more to this response, just know that my marital relationship is a complicated one and that I've been mulling many thoughts around in my head...none of which are very pleasant options. I'm having one of those "want to chuck everything" times in my life. It is extremely frustrating and sad.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Punkin1024 said:


> Ladies LOL! Only if you have someone awake and willing and able. Sigh!
> 
> Can't add more to this response, just know that my marital relationship is a complicated one and that I've been mulling many thoughts around in my head...none of which are very pleasant options. I'm having one of those "want to chuck everything" times in my life. It is extremely frustrating and sad.



 I'm so sorry to hear that, Punkin. Those times in life are no fun at all. I hope somehow this "chuck everything" time is a tunnel that will emerge into a new stage of life where things are brighter and full of thriving and hope. But in the meantime, big hugs for you!


----------



## Dmitra

I've been wrestling with myself about what's become somewhat more than a crush for almost a year and I'm apparently just not doing what I should do to resolve it:

Try to tell him again? He didn't reply to my last note but it 1) may not have gotten delivered/received based on a rep I received from him and 2) may have been too over the top and he didn't want to be a jerk so passively opted out. And 3) some random other deal.

Post sexier pictures? Well, it might be fun to do that anyway but I'm not so great at taking pictures of myself and a lot of the time the whole sultry/sexy thing makes me want to giggle.

Get over it already? I'm trying that, too. Focusing on the difficulties and possible deal-breakers (getting to hate that term, though not what it means), talking it out, looking at other guys, reminding myself it's all in me and nothing to do with him outside of what he collaterally inspires in me.

Random Scottish proverb: An open confession is good for the soul. I sure hope so. Loud music, head banging, and rum may be next! :doh:


----------



## LovelyLiz

Dmitra said:


> I've been wrestling with myself about what's become somewhat more than a crush for almost a year and I'm apparently just not doing what I should do to resolve it:
> 
> SNIPPED



Dmitra - you are a kind, lovely woman and a man would be lucky to have you. All this romance stuff can be nerve-racking! That said, I'm a fan of the straightforward approach...better find out soon, through an honest conversation, whether the feelings are now (or could potentially later be) reciprocated, that way if the answer is yes, then BOOYA! But if no, you don't have to spend another year and a half wondering.

(Being straightforward is no easy thing tho, I realize...I'm much better at doling out the advice than taking it!  )


----------



## MisticalMisty

I need to really cry already. My stress level has been maxed out and I just can't do a proper cry.

The last two weeks have been crazy. Our decision to move, getting rear-ended, finding out that my brother had been murdered, and the overall stress of trying to pack, etc in a such a short amount of time should have sent me over the edge and it hasn't. 

We were unpacking my dishes today. I bought those for my thirtieth birthday. I searched for them for over a year and was so excited when I got them. They survived 3 moves, but unfortunately, 5 of them didn't survive this move.

I cried big crocodile tears for about 2 minutes and that was it. 

Someone needs to smack me or something.


----------



## littlefairywren

Punkin1024 said:


> Ladies LOL! Only if you have someone awake and willing and able. Sigh!
> 
> Can't add more to this response, just know that my marital relationship is a complicated one and that I've been mulling many thoughts around in my head...none of which are very pleasant options. I'm having one of those "want to chuck everything" times in my life. It is extremely frustrating and sad.



Soft (((hugs))) for you, Ella. I hope your mulling will bring you some clarity, and maybe a bit of peace. You always have a soft place to fall here 



Dmitra said:


> I've been wrestling with myself about what's become somewhat more than a crush for almost a year and I'm apparently just not doing what I should do to resolve it:
> 
> Try to tell him again? He didn't reply to my last note but it 1) may not have gotten delivered/received based on a rep I received from him and 2) may have been too over the top and he didn't want to be a jerk so passively opted out. And 3) some random other deal.
> 
> Post sexier pictures? Well, it might be fun to do that anyway but I'm not so great at taking pictures of myself and a lot of the time the whole sultry/sexy thing makes me want to giggle.
> 
> Get over it already? I'm trying that, too. Focusing on the difficulties and possible deal-breakers (getting to hate that term, though not what it means), talking it out, looking at other guys, reminding myself it's all in me and nothing to do with him outside of what he collaterally inspires in me.
> 
> Random Scottish proverb: An open confession is good for the soul. I sure hope so. Loud music, head banging, and rum may be next! :doh:



I love mcbeth's advice. Be open and take the plunge, it's worth it in the end no matter the outcome. There is nothing worse than waiting and wondering, and life is too short for regrets. 

He would be an ass not to see how lovely you are! Good luck!


----------



## littlefairywren

MisticalMisty said:


> I need to really cry already. My stress level has been maxed out and I just can't do a proper cry.
> 
> The last two weeks have been crazy. Our decision to move, getting rear-ended, finding out that my brother had been murdered, and the overall stress of trying to pack, etc in a such a short amount of time should have sent me over the edge and it hasn't.
> 
> We were unpacking my dishes today. I bought those for my thirtieth birthday. I searched for them for over a year and was so excited when I got them. They survived 3 moves, but unfortunately, 5 of them didn't survive this move.
> 
> I cried big crocodile tears for about 2 minutes and that was it.
> 
> Someone needs to smack me or something.



(((Misty)))

I am so sorry you are having such a dreadful time, hon. Sending you prayers and happy thoughts.


----------



## Punkin1024

MisticalMisty said:


> I need to really cry already. My stress level has been maxed out and I just can't do a proper cry.
> 
> The last two weeks have been crazy. Our decision to move, getting rear-ended, finding out that my brother had been murdered, and the overall stress of trying to pack, etc in a such a short amount of time should have sent me over the edge and it hasn't.
> 
> We were unpacking my dishes today. I bought those for my thirtieth birthday. I searched for them for over a year and was so excited when I got them. They survived 3 moves, but unfortunately, 5 of them didn't survive this move.
> 
> I cried big crocodile tears for about 2 minutes and that was it.
> 
> Someone needs to smack me or something.



No...you don't need to be smacked. Those crocodile tears were just a delayed reaction to all the stress. Losing those 5 plates was just the last straw. I hope you feel better now. I know I always feel better after a good, long cry.


----------



## aocutiepi

MisticalMisty said:


> I need to really cry already. My stress level has been maxed out and I just can't do a proper cry.
> 
> The last two weeks have been crazy. Our decision to move, getting rear-ended, finding out that my brother had been murdered, and the overall stress of trying to pack, etc in a such a short amount of time should have sent me over the edge and it hasn't.
> 
> We were unpacking my dishes today. I bought those for my thirtieth birthday. I searched for them for over a year and was so excited when I got them. They survived 3 moves, but unfortunately, 5 of them didn't survive this move.
> 
> I cried big crocodile tears for about 2 minutes and that was it.
> 
> Someone needs to smack me or something.





I always seem to cry when I don't want to, and when something deserves a legit cry, I can't.

Sending big hugs your way.


----------



## aocutiepi

IC that last week I got this message on OkCupid that made me angry, initially... It said, "i don't do fat chicks, but I gotta kno who the chick n the blue is in the pic where ur wearing red! She's hott!"

I had never messaged this guy, never looked at his profile, nothing... just out of the blue, "You are fat and fat is ugly, but since I was looking at your pictures, I noticed your conventionally attractive friend and want her contact info, please."

In retrospect, I shouldn't have replied, but I did, "None of your business."

A week goes by and in this week, I cry twice over him saying that (which pisses me off that I'd actually cry over something some idiot said) because every single time I hang out with the other girl in my picture, she gets hit on, and she's getting hit on in MY dating profile now... 


And then I get two quick messages from him last night. The first was, "Curvey??? Ur a fat mess!!!!!11" and the second was, "Ur a stupid Bitch. I hope u get aids.."

I reported his ass for telling me to go get AIDS, but I doubt they'll do anything. Since it just happened, I'm still furious. But now I'm worried that later on I'll get upset about this one too.



A side note:

Curvy isn't my choice descriptor, but for a big girl on OkCupid, the only reasonably appropriate (ie, not thin, toned, or average) descriptors are overweight, a little extra, curvy, full-figured, and used up. I feel I'm far too overweight to just use overweight, and I definitely have more than a _little_ extra. I feel weird saying full-figured or curvy because I'm kinda straight up and down and because men say things like curvy does not equal fat. So the only one left is used up. Which sounds awful. I guess I should change it and put overweight. Or nothing at all.


----------



## spiritangel

aocutiepi said:


> IC that last week I got this message on OkCupid that made me angry, initially... It said, "i don't do fat chicks, but I gotta kno who the chick n the blue is in the pic where ur wearing red! She's hott!"
> 
> I had never messaged this guy, never looked at his profile, nothing... just out of the blue, "You are fat and fat is ugly, but since I was looking at your pictures, I noticed your conventionally attractive friend and want her contact info, please."
> 
> In retrospect, I shouldn't have replied, but I did, "None of your business."
> 
> A week goes by and in this week, I cry twice over him saying that (which pisses me off that I'd actually cry over something some idiot said) because every single time I hang out with the other girl in my picture, she gets hit on, and she's getting hit on in MY dating profile now...
> 
> 
> And then I get two quick messages from him last night. The first was, "Curvey??? Ur a fat mess!!!!!11" and the second was, "Ur a stupid Bitch. I hope u get aids.."
> 
> I reported his ass for telling me to go get AIDS, but I doubt they'll do anything. Since it just happened, I'm still furious. But now I'm worried that later on I'll get upset about this one too.
> 
> 
> 
> A side note:
> 
> Curvy isn't my choice descriptor, but for a big girl on OkCupid, the only reasonably appropriate (ie, not thin, toned, or average) descriptors are overweight, a little extra, curvy, full-figured, and used up. I feel I'm far too overweight to just use overweight, and I definitely have more than a _little_ extra. I feel weird saying full-figured or curvy because I'm kinda straight up and down and because men say things like curvy does not equal fat. So the only one left is used up. Which sounds awful. I guess I should change it and put overweight. Or nothing at all.



as Hermione says in one of the HP movies "What an Idiot" and I think it is very very very apt here 

you deserve so much better guys like that will get bitch slapped by karma because I cant even begin to fathom how someone comes to think like that

big big big squishy hugs


----------



## littlefairywren

aocutiepi said:


> IC that last week I got this message on OkCupid that made me angry, initially... It said, "i don't do fat chicks, but I gotta kno who the chick n the blue is in the pic where ur wearing red! She's hott!"
> 
> I had never messaged this guy, never looked at his profile, nothing... just out of the blue, "You are fat and fat is ugly, but since I was looking at your pictures, I noticed your conventionally attractive friend and want her contact info, please."
> 
> In retrospect, I shouldn't have replied, but I did, "None of your business."
> 
> A week goes by and in this week, I cry twice over him saying that (which pisses me off that I'd actually cry over something some idiot said) because every single time I hang out with the other girl in my picture, she gets hit on, and she's getting hit on in MY dating profile now...
> 
> 
> And then I get two quick messages from him last night. The first was, "Curvey??? Ur a fat mess!!!!!11" and the second was, "Ur a stupid Bitch. I hope u get aids.."
> 
> I reported his ass for telling me to go get AIDS, but I doubt they'll do anything. Since it just happened, I'm still furious. But now I'm worried that later on I'll get upset about this one too.
> 
> 
> 
> A side note:
> 
> Curvy isn't my choice descriptor, but for a big girl on OkCupid, the only reasonably appropriate (ie, not thin, toned, or average) descriptors are overweight, a little extra, curvy, full-figured, and used up. I feel I'm far too overweight to just use overweight, and I definitely have more than a _little_ extra. I feel weird saying full-figured or curvy because I'm kinda straight up and down and because men say things like curvy does not equal fat. So the only one left is used up. Which sounds awful. I guess I should change it and put overweight. Or nothing at all.



What a complete douche-bag!! Don't you let someone like that get the better of you. He is just pissy because he isn't getting what he wants, so he's taking his frustrations out on you. Gawd, some men just make me want to spit!!

(((aocutiepi)))


----------



## thirtiesgirl

aocutiepi said:


> IC that last week I got this message on OkCupid that made me angry, initially... It said, "i don't do fat chicks, but I gotta kno who the chick n the blue is in the pic where ur wearing red! She's hott!"
> 
> I had never messaged this guy, never looked at his profile, nothing... just out of the blue, "You are fat and fat is ugly, but since I was looking at your pictures, I noticed your conventionally attractive friend and want her contact info, please."
> 
> In retrospect, I shouldn't have replied, but I did, "None of your business."
> 
> A week goes by and in this week, I cry twice over him saying that (which pisses me off that I'd actually cry over something some idiot said) because every single time I hang out with the other girl in my picture, she gets hit on, and she's getting hit on in MY dating profile now...
> 
> 
> And then I get two quick messages from him last night. The first was, "Curvey??? Ur a fat mess!!!!!11" and the second was, "Ur a stupid Bitch. I hope u get aids.."
> 
> I reported his ass for telling me to go get AIDS, but I doubt they'll do anything. Since it just happened, I'm still furious. But now I'm worried that later on I'll get upset about this one too.



What a complete asshole. I'm glad you reported him, and I really hope OKC does something about it. I'll share something I learned about what happens when you report someone to OKC, though. One of the reasons they're able to stay a free website is because they don't pay any moderators. The site isn't really moderated, but overseen by a group of OKC users. When you make a complaint about another member, the group reads the complainer's report of what happened, looks at the person's profile being complained about, and I'd hope they'd have a way of looking at messages sent on the site, but I don't know if they do. They then discuss as a group whether or not the person being complained about should be kicked off the site. One of the members then notifies you of their decision - _sometimes_. Not all the time. Once I learned that this is how OKC handles that type of thing, I stopped using the site.

I don't mean to pour salt in the wound, but would you consider maybe removing your pic with your friend in it and replacing it with one of just you? It might help eliminate further assholes like this one from contacting you.



aocutiepi said:


> A side note:
> 
> Curvy isn't my choice descriptor, but for a big girl on OkCupid, the only reasonably appropriate (ie, not thin, toned, or average) descriptors are overweight, a little extra, curvy, full-figured, and used up. I feel I'm far too overweight to just use overweight, and I definitely have more than a _little_ extra. I feel weird saying full-figured or curvy because I'm kinda straight up and down and because men say things like curvy does not equal fat. So the only one left is used up. Which sounds awful. I guess I should change it and put overweight. Or nothing at all.



I totally hear you on this. I'm waiting for the website that finally gets it right and has "fat" as a descriptor choice. I usually choose "full-figured." Semantically, it's a less divisive term for me than "curvy." I never choose "overweight," because the prefix "over" implies that having excess adipose tissue is a _bad_ thing, which in my mind, it's not.

I also usually write something in the first paragraph of my profile, something like, "I'm a happily unathletic fat girl," openly using the word fat, so they get the full picture. I've found it's a helpful jerk deterrent for me... in fact, so helpful that I hardly ever get responses to my ads. But then, I live in SoCal, where at least 80% of the guys here are into outdoorsy shit like hiking, biking and kayaking, and looking for a "girl-next-door" type who just happens to look like Jennifer Aniston (i.e., they're scared of the fats). It might not be such an effective filter in other parts of the country where that isn't such an issue.


----------



## LovelyLiz

aocutiepi said:


> IC that last week I got this message on OkCupid that made me angry, initially... _snipped_



UGH! I am so so so sorry that happened to you. What a complete jackass. I know how those things can be hurtful (I have received an unsolicited mean mssg on OKC) and really make you feel down on yourself. But honestly, how effed up is it when we let some jackass let us decide whether we are beautiful/desirable? I mean, honestly, he is the king of jackasses to pull a move like that - any person, even a huge a-hole, knows that going up to a girl and saying "Hey, I don't like you but your friend is hot" is really more about power and meanness than it is about getting the hot girl's number. He's simply a jerk - and I have no doubt that if he and your friend did go out, he would be a jerk to her too eventually, just maybe not about her weight. Jerks and jerks, and their opinions should be squished under the feet of the people who truly know and love you and see you rightly.



> Curvy isn't my choice descriptor, but for a big girl on OkCupid, the only reasonably appropriate (ie, not thin, toned, or average) descriptors are overweight, a little extra, curvy, full-figured, and used up. I feel I'm far too overweight to just use overweight, and I definitely have more than a _little_ extra. I feel weird saying full-figured or curvy because I'm kinda straight up and down and because men say things like curvy does not equal fat. So the only one left is used up. Which sounds awful. I guess I should change it and put overweight. Or nothing at all.



Totally feel you on this! I also use full-figured, but do wish they had something like "big", "fat", or "large". No need to mince words.


----------



## CarlaSixx

I don't quite like the descriptors on websites, too. I choose full-figured when I can, though some sites have BBW and SSBBW on them, and I choose the proper option there.

I hear ya on the stupid guys, though.

One guy recently was messaging me for cam sex. He added me through this website, I believe. When I said I don't do that, he blocked me. Then, the same dude decided to troll on my website leaving rather stupid comments. I called him out on it. And since his email address is public, anyone can go see the comments left and see what email it is. They can then decide what they want to do with that in hand  lol.


----------



## Dmitra

mcbeth said:


> Dmitra - you are a kind, lovely woman and a man would be lucky to have you. All this romance stuff can be nerve-racking! That said, I'm a fan of the straightforward approach...better find out soon, through an honest conversation, whether the feelings are now (or could potentially later be) reciprocated, that way if the answer is yes, then BOOYA! But if no, you don't have to spend another year and a half wondering.
> 
> (Being straightforward is no easy thing tho, I realize...I'm much better at doling out the advice than taking it!  )





littlefairywren said:


> I love mcbeth's advice. Be open and take the plunge, it's worth it in the end no matter the outcome. There is nothing worse than waiting and wondering, and life is too short for regrets.
> 
> He would be an ass not to see how lovely you are! Good luck!



Thank you, mcbeth and LFW. I'm extremely grateful for your kind words and encouragement. It helps knowing pursuing this, whatever happens, isn't just a crazy idea. We all deserve to be loved and happy!



aocutiepi said:


> IC that last week I got this message on OkCupid that made me angry, initially... It said, "i don't do fat chicks, but I gotta kno who the chick n the blue is in the pic where ur wearing red! She's hott!"
> 
> <snip>
> 
> And then I get two quick messages from him last night. The first was, "Curvey??? Ur a fat mess!!!!!11" and the second was, "Ur a stupid Bitch. I hope u get aids.."
> 
> <snip>



This guy may be any age but he has the emotional maturity of a hyperactive cockroach! I'm glad you reported him, even if only for yourself -- to not passively accept his hateful attack. I've had guys ask me about my slim friends and they all seem to have the lack of any emotional clue in common, almost as bad as sociopaths but without the charm. You seem like a very sweet young woman and I'm sorry you had to deal with that jerk-off.


----------



## luscious_lulu

aocutiepi said:


> IC that last week I got this message on OkCupid that made me angry, initially... It said, "i don't do fat chicks, but I gotta kno who the chick n the blue is in the pic where ur wearing red! She's hott!"
> 
> I had never messaged this guy, never looked at his profile, nothing... just out of the blue, "You are fat and fat is ugly, but since I was looking at your pictures, I noticed your conventionally attractive friend and want her contact info, please."
> 
> In retrospect, I shouldn't have replied, but I did, "None of your business."
> 
> A week goes by and in this week, I cry twice over him saying that (which pisses me off that I'd actually cry over something some idiot said) because every single time I hang out with the other girl in my picture, she gets hit on, and she's getting hit on in MY dating profile now...
> 
> 
> And then I get two quick messages from him last night. The first was, "Curvey??? Ur a fat mess!!!!!11" and the second was, "Ur a stupid Bitch. I hope u get aids.."
> 
> I reported his ass for telling me to go get AIDS, but I doubt they'll do anything. Since it just happened, I'm still furious. But now I'm worried that later on I'll get upset about this one too.
> 
> 
> 
> A side note:
> 
> Curvy isn't my choice descriptor, but for a big girl on OkCupid, the only reasonably appropriate (ie, not thin, toned, or average) descriptors are overweight, a little extra, curvy, full-figured, and used up. I feel I'm far too overweight to just use overweight, and I definitely have more than a _little_ extra. I feel weird saying full-figured or curvy because I'm kinda straight up and down and because men say things like curvy does not equal fat. So the only one left is used up. Which sounds awful. I guess I should change it and put overweight. Or nothing at all.



That is abusive behavior. I hope they kick his ass off the site.


----------



## Tania

MisticalMisty said:


> ...The last two weeks have been crazy...



Misty, here's hoping that things calm down really soon. I'm so sorry.


----------



## Tania

I felt this was worth mentioning.

Not to jinx myself or anything, but...I realized the other day that I'm...omg...wait for it... confident. Maybe even a little bit too full of myself, but who cares - after the years of shit body image and depakote-induced weight gain and general LIFEISNOTSUPPOSEDTOSUCKTHISBAD angst, I think I've earned it. 

More, I kind of proved my own confidence theory in the process. 

It didn't happen overnight; in fact, it's been years in the making. 

It wasn't a purely psychological shift (i.e., no magical attitude adjustments), because I set goals that involved a certain amount of physical change. I worked out, lost weight, and committed myself to a general course of self-improvement and -fulfillment that felt right to me. 

Further, the changes didn't occur in a vaccuum. While you must set your own "confidence agenda" in order to really be happy with yourself, no woman is an island. I've had wonderful reinforcement and assistance from other people. You could say I met myself halfway - with a little help from my friends. Your community, your scene, your culture, your peeps, whatever you want to call them - the people and ideas that surround you do impact your self-perception. Size positivity helps, but human positivity is absolutely key. 

Sure, I still have my moments. BDD is a hard nut to crack. But instead of turning every hormonal surge or whatever against my body, I'm learning to decipher and trust the logic of reality. I'm learning to give myself the benefit of the doubt.

I look and feel really, really good right now. I look and feel like myself again. It's like this is the girl I'm supposed to be. I always assumed she was much thinner; but as it turns out, she isn't. And I'm okay with that.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Tania said:


> I felt this was worth mentioning.
> 
> ...snip...
> 
> I look and feel really, really good right now. I look and feel like myself again. It's like this is the girl I'm supposed to be. I always assumed she was much thinner; but as it turns out, she isn't. And I'm okay with that.



:bow: Feels freaking awesome to say that and know in your heart that you really mean it, doesn't it? Welcome to YOU!:bow:


----------



## Tania

SERIOUSLY. It surprised the crap out of me but it was a total relief and delight. I'm so so so grateful and I hope things only get better from here. *Hugs* thank you.


----------



## spiritangel

Hugs Misty you will find your way through the grief maze we all do so differently big hugs



Tania that is awesome to hear I think owning our own personal power is such a valuable and important lesson


IC I truly do not have the patience to weed out the idiots from the good guys and whilst I am ready to move forward and would love a new relationship I really am not gonna chase it at the moment I would rather focus my energy on more important things that will empower me rather than things that will make me loose faith and dishearten me.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tania said:


> I felt this was worth mentioning.
> 
> Not to jinx myself or anything, but...I realized the other day that I'm...omg...wait for it... confident. Maybe even a little bit too full of myself, but who cares - after the years of shit body image and depakote-induced weight gain and general LIFEISNOTSUPPOSEDTOSUCKTHISBAD angst, I think I've earned it.
> 
> More, I kind of proved my own confidence theory in the process.
> 
> It didn't happen overnight; in fact, it's been years in the making.
> 
> It wasn't a purely psychological shift (i.e., no magical attitude adjustments), because I set goals that involved a certain amount of physical change. I worked out, lost weight, and committed myself to a general course of self-improvement and -fulfillment that felt right to me.
> 
> Further, the changes didn't occur in a vaccuum. While you must set your own "confidence agenda" in order to really be happy with yourself, no woman is an island. I've had wonderful reinforcement and assistance from other people. You could say I met myself halfway - with a little help from my friends. Your community, your scene, your culture, your peeps, whatever you want to call them - the people and ideas that surround you do impact your self-perception. Size positivity helps, but human positivity is absolutely key.
> 
> Sure, I still have my moments. BDD is a hard nut to crack. But instead of turning every hormonal surge or whatever against my body, I'm learning to decipher and trust the logic of reality. I'm learning to give myself the benefit of the doubt.
> 
> I look and feel really, really good right now. I look and feel like myself again. It's like this is the girl I'm supposed to be. I always assumed she was much thinner; but as it turns out, she isn't. And I'm okay with that.



Yea, you!! :bow:

:wubu:


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Woot! Tania, that's great to hear. I hope to get there some day. I think I'm almost there, but not quite. ...Largely because yesterday, I kind of fell into a sinking hole of loneliness. It was one of my bad days. I desperately needed to get out of my head and didn't know how. I hope today's a better day. We shall see.


----------



## CastingPearls

I confess that I miss my sister and today is a very very bad day.


----------



## MzDeeZyre

CastingPearls said:


> I confess that I miss my sister and today is a very very bad day.



*hugs* I know this feeling all too well. I'm sorry friend.


----------



## jewels_mystery

IC that I am so stressed out that I can not enjoy the situation. After graduating last decemeber, I have been unemployed. Got a call last Monday that I was hired for a position without a interview. I should be happy. But I focused on organizing a move to a new city over 2 hours away. I do not drive and I had exactly two weeks until my start date. I probably will end up staying in a hotel for a couple of days to look for an apt. Thankfully I don't have to move my stuff until the end of the month but I start work on the 13th. I used to love moving and discovering a new place. For once in my life I wish I had family or a mate near by so I did not feel so alone in this. 
thanks for letting me rant.


----------



## jewels_mystery

aocutiepi-wow they are complete idiots. I am glad you reported them. God help anyone they know.

Misty I am so sorry for everything. Cry as much as you need and you do not need a smack. ((hugs))


----------



## AuntHen

CastingPearls said:


> I confess that I miss my sister and today is a very very bad day.



Lainey, I am so sorry and I feel your pain. My younger sister died when she was 20 and her birthday is on the 25th of this month, she died at the end of October, so it's 2 months in a row to be reminded! 

<<<<<Big hugs to you my friend!!!!>>>>>>


----------



## Punkin1024

CastingPearls said:


> I confess that I miss my sister and today is a very very bad day.



(((((((HUGS)))))))


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC I'm a bit freaked out about the test I have to get done tomorrow. I know it's a relatively safe procedure, but when they did it to my mom, they punctured her esophagus and collapsed a lung. 

I'm just hoping the drug me up really well.


----------



## Punkin1024

luscious_lulu said:


> IC I'm a bit freaked out about the test I have to get done tomorrow. I know it's a relatively safe procedure, but when they did it to my mom, they punctured her esophagus and collapsed a lung.
> 
> I'm just hoping the drug me up really well.



Good grief! I hope you have different surgeons. Will be thinking of you and praying all goes well.


----------



## CastingPearls

Best of luck to you Lulu. I'll say a little prayer. ((((hugs))))


----------



## PeanutsInColor

luscious_lulu said:


> IC I'm a bit freaked out about the test I have to get done tomorrow. I know it's a relatively safe procedure, but when they did it to my mom, they punctured her esophagus and collapsed a lung.
> 
> I'm just hoping the drug me up really well.



Lulu, here is wishing you the best!!! Youll be fine. Do not worry.

What is the procedure?


----------



## luscious_lulu

Thanks, like I said it's a relatively safe procedure. I'm having it done at a different hospital, than where my mom had it done.


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I am very frustrated with my friends. I was telling them how I wanted to go out for my birthday and do something special, since I'm going to be 21, and they immediately said "Let's hit up Sky for your birthday!" 

Now... Sky is a gay bar in Montreal, rumored to be the biggest gay bar in North America. I've gone with my friends many times, and the first time was on my friend's birthday. I love the bar and all... but it's not where I would like to be for my birthday. Simply because... I'm going to be sitting in the corner sipping a shit ton of drinks while they go off flirting with a bunch of different guys.

I'm sorry, but NO. MY birthday = MY night. I'M the one who should be getting the attention. So I don't want to go to a frikkin gay bar on my birthday! 

And since I've said this to my friends, they're all pissed off at me. Hey, not my fault. Just telling the truth.

And when I tell them I'd like to go to a bar for "people like me" they turn around and tell me "but I thought you hated bars like that."

NO, doofus. I hate regular straight bars where 15 year old girls get felt up by 30 yr old guys and I'm in the corner sipping a drink cuz no one would be interested in a fat person like me in a bar like that. 

So then they ask "well what do you mean?" And I flat out tell them "I wish there was a bar for fat people like me." AND THEY FRIKKIN FLIP OUT! As if saying the word "fat" is the most derogatory term in the world. And when I try to point out that it's just an adjective and it's being properly used (like how gays use "fag" for themselves in a lighthearted way, etc) and they don'T get it. 

So they're telling me to pick any bar between Ottawa and Montreal and we'll go to it for my birthday. But I don't know of any that are for plus sized people, let alone one that'll be specifically open on the night of my birthday.



Maybe I should just crawl in a hole on that day and pretend it's not happening.


----------



## littlefairywren

CastingPearls said:


> I confess that I miss my sister and today is a very very bad day.



She knows how much you love her, and I know that she would be so proud of you...(((hugs)))



jewels_mystery said:


> IC that I am so stressed out that I can not enjoy the situation. After graduating last decemeber, I have been unemployed. Got a call last Monday that I was hired for a position without a interview. I should be happy. But I focused on organizing a move to a new city over 2 hours away. I do not drive and I had exactly two weeks until my start date. I probably will end up staying in a hotel for a couple of days to look for an apt. Thankfully I don't have to move my stuff until the end of the month but I start work on the 13th. I used to love moving and discovering a new place. For once in my life I wish I had family or a mate near by so I did not feel so alone in this.
> thanks for letting me rant.



Things can feel so daunting when we have to do it all ourselves, but just take one step at a time, and you will finally get there. It will all be worth it in the end. Congrats on getting the position, jewels!



luscious_lulu said:


> IC I'm a bit freaked out about the test I have to get done tomorrow. I know it's a relatively safe procedure, but when they did it to my mom, they punctured her esophagus and collapsed a lung.
> 
> I'm just hoping the drug me up really well.



Good luck, lulu! Sending good vibes and a wee prayer for you.


----------



## Tania

Thank you, my dears.

Best of luck to everyone.


----------



## Tau

CarlaSixx said:


> IC I am very frustrated with my friends. I was telling them how I wanted to go out for my birthday and do something special, since I'm going to be 21, and they immediately said "Let's hit up Sky for your birthday!"
> 
> Now... Sky is a gay bar in Montreal, rumored to be the biggest gay bar in North America. I've gone with my friends many times, and the first time was on my friend's birthday. I love the bar and all... but it's not where I would like to be for my birthday. Simply because... I'm going to be sitting in the corner sipping a shit ton of drinks while they go off flirting with a bunch of different guys.
> 
> I'm sorry, but NO. MY birthday = MY night. I'M the one who should be getting the attention. So I don't want to go to a frikkin gay bar on my birthday!
> 
> And since I've said this to my friends, they're all pissed off at me. Hey, not my fault. Just telling the truth.
> 
> And when I tell them I'd like to go to a bar for "people like me" they turn around and tell me "but I thought you hated bars like that."
> 
> NO, doofus. I hate regular straight bars where 15 year old girls get felt up by 30 yr old guys and I'm in the corner sipping a drink cuz no one would be interested in a fat person like me in a bar like that.
> 
> So then they ask "well what do you mean?" And I flat out tell them "I wish there was a bar for fat people like me." AND THEY FRIKKIN FLIP OUT! As if saying the word "fat" is the most derogatory term in the world. And when I try to point out that it's just an adjective and it's being properly used (like how gays use "fag" for themselves in a lighthearted way, etc) and they don'T get it.
> 
> So they're telling me to pick any bar between Ottawa and Montreal and we'll go to it for my birthday. But I don't know of any that are for plus sized people, let alone one that'll be specifically open on the night of my birthday.
> 
> 
> 
> Maybe I should just crawl in a hole on that day and pretend it's not happening.



Please don't crawl into a hole and pretend it isnt happening!! 

There are no 'fat' clubs, pubs or bars in my part of the world - not a single one. When I go out I go out to the skinny clubs, where catching a glimpse of another fat girl is actually like some kind of magical revelation! LOL! But you know what - I have a fucking awesome time anyway. Going out - in my humble opinion - shouldnt just be about hooking up or getting gawked at and hit on by a million guys. Yes, some nights thats fun too, but if you know you're going to a place where that isn't likely to happen then don't have your heart set on it. Just go out there knowing you're celebrating a fabulous milestone in your own life and that you're doing it with people you love who love you right back. Get dressed up, go crazy on the make up, get new hair and then dance till everything hurts *smishes* Have a blast Carla!


----------



## Aust99

Tau said:


> Please don't crawl into a hole and pretend it isnt happening!!
> 
> There are no 'fat' clubs, pubs or bars in my part of the world - not a single one. When I go out I go out to the skinny clubs, where catching a glimpse of another fat girl is actually like some kind of magical revelation! LOL! But you know what - I have a fucking awesome time anyway. Going out - in my humble opinion - shouldnt just be about hooking up or getting gawked at and hit on by a million guys. Yes, some nights thats fun too, but if you know you're going to a place where that isn't likely to happen then don't have your heart set on it. Just go out there knowing you're celebrating a fabulous milestone in your own life and that you're doing it with people you love who love you right back. Get dressed up, go crazy on the make up, get new hair and then dance till everything hurts *smishes* Have a blast Carla!




THIS!!! :bow:


Have a blast at a bar off your choice Carla:kiss2:


----------



## Tau

@Lulu, CP and Jewels - sending love to you all ladies *hugz*


----------



## sarie

i used to never talk about sex or join in on conversations about sex because i was worried that people would immediately be repulsed by the idea of me having sex/being naked. how depressing. while i'm not entirely comfortable with my body (and i'm constantly working on becoming comfortable), i finally feel relatively comfortable giving my two cents when talking about sex. it's surprisingly refreshing!


----------



## luscious_lulu

I'm @ the hospital waiting for my friend to pick me up. The couldn't complete the test because I kept pulling the probe out. I was drugged up so I don't really remember.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> I'm @ the hospital waiting for my friend to pick me up. The couldn't complete the test because I kept pulling the probe out. I was drugged up so I don't really remember.



Oh hun, I'm so sorry.  What kind of test was it (I won't be offended if you prefer not to say)? What do they plan on doing now? Try again, and completely knock you out?

(((hugs)))


----------



## luscious_lulu

It was an upper gi tract endoscopy. Since I'm having problems swallowing they wanted to see what's going on. 

I don't know what the next step is. I have an appointment in a month to discuss.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> It was an upper gi tract endoscopy. Since I'm having problems swallowing they wanted to see what's going on.
> 
> I don't know what the next step is. I have an appointment in a month to discuss.



Ah, ok, I've had that done.

I hope they figure out what's going on.


----------



## luscious_lulu

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Ah, ok, I've had that done.
> 
> I hope they figure out what's going on.



It should be an easy test, but it apparently freaks me out


----------



## jewels_mystery

Thanks ladies for the support. hugs


----------



## jewels_mystery

luscious_lulu said:


> I'm @ the hospital waiting for my friend to pick me up. The couldn't complete the test because I kept pulling the probe out. I was drugged up so I don't really remember.



Good luck on your test. I hope it goes quickly and smoothly.


----------



## spiritangel

IC I am mystefied as to why people want to watch my youtube videos and looking at the stats on who and where they are being watched is even more baffling to me specially as my new video is most popular with 13-17 year olds wtf seriously confuzzled there oh and lots of old men lol rolling my eyes


----------



## thirtiesgirl

IC I've just spent the last 45 minutes trawling Youtube to find a damn Nick Cave video with an active embed code. I just can't find the one I want, dammit! 

Bleh.


----------



## luscious_lulu

One of my FB friends posted pics of my douche bag ex and I didn't want to maim him. I'll never be his friend again, but I think that is progress.


----------



## Punkin1024

I'm trying to get rid of an allergy/cold. Ugh! Doesn't help that I can't sleep well (I have to sleep sitting up so I can breath). ON top of that .... I'm worried about all our DIMS peeps in South Texas. Haven't seen hide nor hair of 'em of Facebook or in here for the last 2 days since Hermine hit. Anybody heard from anyone in San Antonio, Houston?


----------



## Tau

I'm horny and I have nobody I want to fuck and I'm hormonal and can't stop fucking eating chocolate all the time!!! *cries violently*


----------



## mossystate

At age 48, I am tired, literally, of carrying as much weight as I carry. I won't curl up in a ball if my body stays as is...never ( and I am not saying that because it is expected...pfft )...but I yearn to once again be a bit lighter and quicker...to have more energy in a body that is also smaller. 
I have no number in my head as I have never been obsessed by such things...I just know that for me, aging + my body...things need to change. And you better believe I want to wear the kind of clothing that appeals to me, but is now a bit out of reach. I have to figure out why I make some choices I make, and love myself a little better, without following some script mainstream society, or any other group, says a fat woman should follow...again...pfffft. falalalala


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mossystate said:


> At age 48, I am tired, literally, of carrying as much weight as I carry. I won't curl up in a ball if my body stays as is...never ( and I am not saying that because it is expected...pfft )...but I yearn to once again be a bit lighter and quicker...to have more energy in a body that is also smaller.
> I have no number in my head as I have never been obsessed by such things...I just know that for me, aging + my body...things need to change. And you better believe I want to wear the kind of clothing that appeals to me, but is now a bit out of reach. I have to figure out why I make some choices I make, and love myself a little better, without following some script mainstream society, or any other group, says a fat woman should follow...again...pfffft. falalalala



oh boy, do I hear ya.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Health at every size. Intuitive eating.


----------



## CarlaSixx

I've been spending the night dismantling a size medium studded belt. My hands are sore and cut, but I'm very excited. I'm hard at work on my Halloween costume and this is definitely keeping me busy from now until Gawd knows when.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

thirtiesgirl said:


> Health at every size. Intuitive eating.



Easier said than done.


----------



## Punkin1024

mossystate said:


> At age 48, I am tired, literally, of carrying as much weight as I carry. I won't curl up in a ball if my body stays as is...never ( and I am not saying that because it is expected...pfft )...but I yearn to once again be a bit lighter and quicker...to have more energy in a body that is also smaller.
> I have no number in my head as I have never been obsessed by such things...I just know that for me, aging + my body...things need to change. And you better believe I want to wear the kind of clothing that appeals to me, but is now a bit out of reach. I have to figure out why I make some choices I make, and love myself a little better, without following some script mainstream society, or any other group, says a fat woman should follow...again...pfffft. falalalala



I, too, hear you on this! Do it Mossy! You'll feel so much better. I have no number in my head either. I just decided one day that enough was enough. I then started walking on my treadmill and started working on what I eat. It is tough to stick to it and sometimes I revisit old habits, but once I scratch that itch, I'm back to fruit, veggies and good for me stuff. (((((((HUGS)))))))


----------



## spiritangel

Punkin1024 said:


> I, too, hear you on this! Do it Mossy! You'll feel so much better. I have no number in my head either. I just decided one day that enough was enough. I then started walking on my treadmill and started working on what I eat. It is tough to stick to it and sometimes I revisit old habits, but once I scratch that itch, I'm back to fruit, veggies and good for me stuff. (((((((HUGS)))))))



Hugs

I dont do the perfect diet thing, I have been working towards eating healthier well actually I love healthy food and eat pretty darn well most of the time but I also dont deny myself something if I want it, as I only grocery shop once every 2 weeks I limit the crap I buy quite a lot so once it is gone its gone and being on a tight budget means I cant just go buy more plus I dont feel like I am missing out on anything and I love that spring is here as I love salad and eating salads ect

IC I wanted to bitch slap my dr into oblivion today asked him about the meditation retreat as I needed to make sure I was allowed to do the fasting part of it. And he asked about the retreat and I said its not technology nothing but meditation 12hrs a day meals and sleep and nature

and he kept say "and No fridge" and no fridge and I was like wtf

seriously my fridge might get open 3-4 times a day max somedays if I am in an I am super hungry mood more but mostly just for meal times, I swear I was soo mad and I said to him It actually doesnt get opened that much but grrr, I am have been doing well eating healthier even paying more for groceries so I can cook food from scratch rather than buying cheap bottled sauces and the like makes me want to cry in frustration


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

spiritangel said:


> IC I wanted to bitch slap my dr into oblivion today asked him about the meditation retreat as I needed to make sure I was allowed to do the fasting part of it. And he asked about the retreat and I said its not technology nothing but meditation 12hrs a day meals and sleep and nature
> 
> and he kept say "and No fridge" and no fridge and I was like wtf
> 
> seriously my fridge might get open 3-4 times a day max somedays if I am in an I am super hungry mood more but mostly just for meal times, I swear I was soo mad and I said to him It actually doesnt get opened that much but grrr, I am have been doing well eating healthier even paying more for groceries so I can cook food from scratch rather than buying cheap bottled sauces and the like makes me want to cry in frustration



(((hugs))) I understand. :-/


----------



## CarlaSixx

Nothing's going right today.

Bad news every place I turn. 

Ripped off at a resto.

Friend in trouble.

Problem with apartment hunting.

Problem with finding money.

Father being a jackass and forgetting once again (2 months now!) to bring me something I asked about getting a long time ago.

Lost my keys. Ransacked my apartment looking for them. Nothing yet.

A 4 to 5 year waiting list at Social Housing.

Not able to pick up disability papers until I see a psych.

Etc.

I'm fucking done with today.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

CarlaSixx said:


> Nothing's going right today.
> 
> Bad news every place I turn.
> 
> Ripped off at a resto.
> 
> Friend in trouble.
> 
> Problem with apartment hunting.
> 
> Problem with finding money.
> 
> Father being a jackass and forgetting once again (2 months now!) to bring me something I asked about getting a long time ago.
> 
> Lost my keys. Ransacked my apartment looking for them. Nothing yet.
> 
> A 4 to 5 year waiting list at Social Housing.
> 
> Not able to pick up disability papers until I see a psych.
> 
> Etc.
> 
> I'm fucking done with today.



I hope tomorrow's a better day, for you.


----------



## CastingPearls

CarlaSixx said:


> Nothing's going right today.
> 
> Bad news every place I turn.
> 
> Ripped off at a resto.
> 
> Friend in trouble.
> 
> Problem with apartment hunting.
> 
> Problem with finding money.
> 
> Father being a jackass and forgetting once again (2 months now!) to bring me something I asked about getting a long time ago.
> 
> Lost my keys. Ransacked my apartment looking for them. Nothing yet.
> 
> A 4 to 5 year waiting list at Social Housing.
> 
> Not able to pick up disability papers until I see a psych.
> 
> Etc.
> 
> I'm fucking done with today.


{{{{{Carla}}}}}


----------



## Ruffie

Big hugs to all dealing with some of that brown mushy stuff I have been reading about. Chin up and nose plugged!


----------



## thirtiesgirl

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Easier said than done.



I'm just offering suggestions. What others choose to do with their lives and their time is up to them. I choose to follow the tenets of HAES and am an occasional intuitive eater. I find it generally works for me, which is why I suggested it.


----------



## Saoirse

IC I no longer consider myself a BBW.

so I have no idea why Im still posting here.

oh well.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

thirtiesgirl said:


> I'm just offering suggestions. What others choose to do with their lives and their time is up to them. I choose to follow the tenets of HAES and am an occasional intuitive eater. I find it generally works for me, which is why I suggested it.



30s...I wasn't getting snippy at you.

It's a battle, and I'm not speaking for Mossy, but for me, my body isn't happy at the weight it's at; so the HAES doesn't work for *me*. I probably have an eating disorder since I used to have bulimic tendencies, would also not eat for days at a time, and I also overeat. A non-weight related disorder causes pain any time I move; so exercise brings me extreme pain. I also am on meds that cause extreme weight gain, and make it extremely hard to lose weight.

Trying to be healthy, lose weight if you're wanting/needing to, eating in a healthful, mindful way, and exercising when it's difficult because of your size, is extremely difficult. That's why I said, "easier said than done." It wasn't a slam at you or your suggestion.


----------



## Tania

MizzSnakeBite said:


> I also am on meds that cause extreme weight gain, and make it extremely hard to lose weight.



This right here, alone, is enough to COMPLETELY negate the usual results of a rational health regimen.  I have so been there. :*


----------



## Tracyarts

" It's a battle, and I'm not speaking for Mossy, but for me, my body isn't happy at the weight it's at; so the HAES doesn't work for *me*. "

Same for me. The HAES approach to wellness was a valid option for me when I was younger, smaller, and more mobile. But at this point, it's just not going to give me the results I need in order to have the life I want. I totally support it though. For those whose bodies are suited to the HAES approach, they can literally thrive with it. Maybe someday I'll get back to a size where it'll work for me again, but for now I have to take a radically different approach. 

Tracy


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Saoirse said:


> IC I no longer consider myself a BBW.
> 
> so I have no idea why Im still posting here.
> 
> oh well.



Do you consider yourself a fat woman? I do. I don't use the term 'BBW' to describe myself and never have. I'm fat, end of story. And I thought it was ok for fat people to post here. If not, could somebody please give me a heads-up?



MizzSnakeBite said:


> Trying to be healthy, lose weight if you're wanting/needing to, eating in a healthful, mindful way, and exercising when it's difficult because of your size, is extremely difficult. That's why I said, "easier said than done." It wasn't a slam at you or your suggestion.



Ok, understood. HAES isn't about weight loss and doing exercise with the intent of losing weight, though. It's about doing any kind of physical movement that makes you feel good about yourself and that you're comfortable doing. If that's high impact aerobics or running a marathon, go for it. If it's doing yoga and going for the occasional walk, go for it. If it's going out dancing once a month, go for it. There isn't a right or wrong way to participate in HAES.

Intuitive eating has a bit more to it than just eating what you want in the moment, which is why I don't follow it to the letter. I take what I want from it and leave the rest. Generally, what I take from it is to not refuse myself anything that I want to eat in the moment, but I try to think about what I want to eat before I eat it. Most of the time. For example, if I'm driving home after a long day at work and I'm totally craving French fries, most of the time I'll reflect on what it is about the fries that I'm really craving: is it the grease?, is it the salt?, or is it just something savory? If it's the salt, I remind myself that I have some pretzels at home that will meet my salty craving. If it's something savory, I might think about other dinner items I have in my fridge and whether they'd meet my craving or not. 

Now, I don't do this _all_ the time. Sometimes I don't want to deny myself and I'll go for the fries. Sometimes I don't want to be bothered by the "thinky-ness" of it all. I don't do it to lose weight or cut calories, but to monitor my food intake, specifically when it comes to salt and cholesterol. Those are particular issues of mine so I try to pay attention to them most of the time. I'm not doing it to make the medical industry happy, and I know my doctor would be much happier with me if I made healthier food choices. But I'm gonna eat what I want to eat, for the most part, take what I want from intuitive eating and not let it rule my life.


----------



## Aust99

thirtiesgirl said:


> Do you consider yourself a fat woman? I do. I don't use the term 'BBW' to describe myself and never have. I'm fat, end of story. And I thought it was ok for fat people to post here. If not, could somebody please give me a heads-up?




I think it's fine... some people don't relate to labels but if your a fat woman then this forum is for you. Post away!


----------



## jewels_mystery

CarlaSixx said:


> Nothing's going right today.
> 
> Bad news every place I turn.
> 
> Ripped off at a resto.
> 
> Friend in trouble.
> 
> Problem with apartment hunting.
> 
> Problem with finding money.
> 
> Father being a jackass and forgetting once again (2 months now!) to bring me something I asked about getting a long time ago.
> 
> Lost my keys. Ransacked my apartment looking for them. Nothing yet.
> 
> A 4 to 5 year waiting list at Social Housing.
> 
> Not able to pick up disability papers until I see a psych.
> 
> Etc.
> 
> I'm fucking done with today.




I am sorry your going through so much. hugs


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

thirtiesgirl said:


> Ok, understood. HAES isn't about weight loss and doing exercise with the intent of losing weight, though. It's about doing any kind of physical movement that makes you feel good about yourself and that you're comfortable doing. If that's high impact aerobics or running a marathon, go for it. If it's doing yoga and going for the occasional walk, go for it. If it's going out dancing once a month, go for it. There isn't a right or wrong way to participate in HAES.
> 
> 
> .



Oh, I know HAES isn't about weight loss or exercise for weight loss. My point was that at my size, for my body and what it's going though, I cannot be healthy. I'm strictly speaking about my body. Since the pounds have crept up (and during some periods, piled on), mobility has drastically decreased. Like Tracey said, if I was younger, weighed less than I do now, was more mobile (or was able to be more mobile), then HAES might be an option. When I was smaller (and younger), I was very healthy and active. Now, I'm not, and things will get worse if I stay on this same path. I do know that much.


----------



## Saoirse

thirtiesgirl said:


> Do you consider yourself a fat woman? I do. I don't use the term 'BBW' to describe myself and never have. I'm fat, end of story. And I thought it was ok for fat people to post here. If not, could somebody please give me a heads-up?



Im pretty sure you know that its ok for fat people to post here. I just no longer consider myself big or really all that fat, but I continue to come here even tho Im no longer a part of its target group.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Saoirse said:


> Im pretty sure you know that its ok for fat people to post here. I just no longer consider myself big or really all that fat, but I continue to come here even tho Im no longer a part of its target group.



Ah, I understand now. ...And yes, I wasn't being sincere with my question. I was poking the label bear a little. I get tired of some of the assumptions that go along with the 'BBW' label, so I was trying to make a point in my slightly passive-aggressive way.


----------



## MisticalMisty

thirtiesgirl said:


> so I was trying to make a point in my slightly passive-aggressive way.



Yeah..about that...not every response to a post has to be confrontational or passive aggressive. It gets old and most people don't like to be chastised. 

I get that your passionate, really I do..but please just kinda take it down a notch. 

You have a wealth of knowledge, but it falls on deaf ears with the delivery sometimes!


----------



## thirtiesgirl

MisticalMisty said:


> Yeah..about that...not every response to a post has to be confrontational or passive aggressive. It gets old and most people don't like to be chastised.



I wasn't chastising Saoirse, but making a general comment about the BBW label. 



MisticalMisty said:


> I get that your passionate, really I do..but please just kinda take it down a notch.
> 
> You have a wealth of knowledge, but it falls on deaf ears with the delivery sometimes!



If I'd wanted advice, I would have written to Dear Abby. Talk about poor delivery.


----------



## OneWickedAngel

Saoirse said:


> Im pretty sure you know that its ok for fat people to post here. I just no longer consider myself big or really all that fat, but I continue to come here even tho Im no longer a part of its target group.



Saoirse: 

* Having once been a/felt like a BBW do you feel your experiences may be a source of opinion/information to others, given whatever subject that may fit? 
You're free to post. 

* Do you have friends only on here that you want to stay in touch with? 
You're free to post. 

As long as you'e not "look I lost all of this weight and I'm no longer a BBW and you can too!" -because this is in direct violation of the guidelines and absolutely not allowed...

You're free to post.

If Dims is no longer your cup of tea, for whatever reason, we'll miss you and your wonderful spirit, but we'll understand. You are free to post here (within the guidelines of course) as long as YOU feel you have something to gain/offer here.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Oh, I know HAES isn't about weight loss or exercise for weight loss. My point was that at my size, for my body and what it's going though, I cannot be healthy. I'm strictly speaking about my body. Since the pounds have crept up (and during some periods, piled on), mobility has drastically decreased. Like Tracey said, if I was younger, weighed less than I do now, was more mobile (or was able to be more mobile), then HAES might be an option. When I was smaller (and younger), I was very healthy and active. Now, I'm not, and things will get worse if I stay on this same path. I do know that much.



My experience with HAES and people affiliated with it has been nothing short of ridiculous. They aren't about accepting people for who they are, they are more about it being ok to be fat as long as you are a healthy fat.

Its ok if you're fat as long as you exercise and eat right, but if you sit around eating ice cream and never get any exercise you should be ashamed of yourself. That's my experience with HAES.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

fatgirlflyin said:


> My experience with HAES and people affiliated with it has been nothing short of ridiculous. They aren't about accepting people for who they are, they are more about it being ok to be fat as long as you are a healthy fat.
> 
> Its ok if you're fat as long as you exercise and eat right, but if you sit around eating ice cream and never get any exercise you should be ashamed of yourself. That's my experience with HAES.



Yeah, I agree. I've noticed that quite a bit too.


----------



## CarlaSixx

On topic of the thread.... 

IC apartment hunting has been hell. The ones within, what I think is, my budget, are all upstairs apartments in a very dangerous area of the city. And very dirty and gross. I've got horror stories of visiting friends in that area. 

But this worries me because I need to find somewhere soon, and I need to be able to get into the place with no problem, be able to carry most of my stuff and some furniture on my own as well (I have NO help and didn't even have help when I moved into this apartment, either.) So stairs are a BIG problem. And if ever anything were to happen, I'm not a fast mover. So this area and this whole "yeah, umm, it's an upstairs apartment" DOES NOT work for me!

I'm about to pull out my hair! In fact... I've already started. It's awful. I'd go for room rentals but none of them allow pets, so I'm totally screwed.

And so frikkin worried that I've been screwed over.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

CarlaSixx said:


> On topic of the thread....
> 
> IC apartment hunting has been hell. The ones within, what I think is, my budget, are all upstairs apartments in a very dangerous area of the city. And very dirty and gross. I've got horror stories of visiting friends in that area.
> 
> But this worries me because I need to find somewhere soon, and I need to be able to get into the place with no problem, be able to carry most of my stuff and some furniture on my own as well (I have NO help and didn't even have help when I moved into this apartment, either.) So stairs are a BIG problem. And if ever anything were to happen, I'm not a fast mover. So this area and this whole "yeah, umm, it's an upstairs apartment" DOES NOT work for me!
> 
> I'm about to pull out my hair! In fact... I've already started. It's awful. I'd go for room rentals but none of them allow pets, so I'm totally screwed.
> 
> And so frikkin worried that I've been screwed over.



Hope things get better, and you're able to find something that works for you. 

Moving's a bitch.


----------



## Weeze

I have my first gynecology appointment in two years tomorrow, followed by an interview with a school admissions counselor. Tomorrow is a BIG day and I'm so excited that I get to see my sister tonight before I tackle it. She may be a brat, but her can-do attitude really makes her my rock.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Weeze said:


> I have my first gynecology appointment in two years tomorrow, followed by an interview with a school admissions counselor. Tomorrow is a BIG day and I'm so excited that I get to see my sister tonight before I tackle it. She may be a brat, but her can-do attitude really makes her my rock.



Good luck


----------



## CastingPearls

Weeze said:


> I have my first gynecology appointment in two years tomorrow, followed by an interview with a school admissions counselor. Tomorrow is a BIG day and I'm so excited that I get to see my sister tonight before I tackle it. She may be a brat, but her can-do attitude really makes her my rock.


Best of luck to ya!


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I am SO glad that Mercury is out of retrograde. Things always go horribly wrong for me when it's happening. But... now things are looking up. I've been contacted by 3 different guys on dating sites, all of them in my area and in my age range, and not bad looking either :happy: 

Also, I got contacted about a basement apartment in the North end of my city. I LOVE the area that it's in and it's a beautiful and quiet place. The place is also super pet friendly and there's a yard and private bathroom and everything! Within my budget! I'm so very excited about it!

As well as hearing that I can go back to school and possibly get maturity credits so that I would actually only have to complete one and a half, and not 3, lol. That's pretty darned awesome if you ask me! Plus, I won't have to go full time because I am considered medically disabled and may only need to go about 3 hours a day, if even every day  Awesome!

So... I think, all in all, this is a good way to kick off the moment, lol. I do hope it continues because I really need this!


----------



## CastingPearls

CarlaSixx said:


> IC I am SO glad that Mercury is out of retrograde. Things always go horribly wrong for me when it's happening. But... now things are looking up. I've been contacted by 3 different guys on dating sites, all of them in my area and in my age range, and not bad looking either :happy:
> 
> Also, I got contacted about a basement apartment in the North end of my city. I LOVE the area that it's in and it's a beautiful and quiet place. The place is also super pet friendly and there's a yard and private bathroom and everything! Within my budget! I'm so very excited about it!
> 
> As well as hearing that I can go back to school and possibly get maturity credits so that I would actually only have to complete one and a half, and not 3, lol. That's pretty darned awesome if you ask me! Plus, I won't have to go full time because I am considered medically disabled and may only need to go about 3 hours a day, if even every day  Awesome!
> 
> So... I think, all in all, this is a good way to kick off the moment, lol. I do hope it continues because I really need this!


This is all great news!! Awesome!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

CarlaSixx said:


> IC I am SO glad that Mercury is out of retrograde. Things always go horribly wrong for me when it's happening. But... now things are looking up. I've been contacted by 3 different guys on dating sites, all of them in my area and in my age range, and not bad looking either :happy:
> 
> Also, I got contacted about a basement apartment in the North end of my city. I LOVE the area that it's in and it's a beautiful and quiet place. The place is also super pet friendly and there's a yard and private bathroom and everything! Within my budget! I'm so very excited about it!
> 
> As well as hearing that I can go back to school and possibly get maturity credits so that I would actually only have to complete one and a half, and not 3, lol. That's pretty darned awesome if you ask me! Plus, I won't have to go full time because I am considered medically disabled and may only need to go about 3 hours a day, if even every day  Awesome!
> 
> So... I think, all in all, this is a good way to kick off the moment, lol. I do hope it continues because I really need this!



Fantastic! I'm so glad things are turning around for you.


----------



## luscious_lulu

CarlaSixx said:


> IC I am SO glad that Mercury is out of retrograde. Things always go horribly wrong for me when it's happening. But... now things are looking up. I've been contacted by 3 different guys on dating sites, all of them in my area and in my age range, and not bad looking either :happy:
> 
> Also, I got contacted about a basement apartment in the North end of my city. I LOVE the area that it's in and it's a beautiful and quiet place. The place is also super pet friendly and there's a yard and private bathroom and everything! Within my budget! I'm so very excited about it!
> 
> As well as hearing that I can go back to school and possibly get maturity credits so that I would actually only have to complete one and a half, and not 3, lol. That's pretty darned awesome if you ask me! Plus, I won't have to go full time because I am considered medically disabled and may only need to go about 3 hours a day, if even every day  Awesome!
> 
> So... I think, all in all, this is a good way to kick off the moment, lol. I do hope it continues because I really need this!



Yay! I'm so glad things are looking up!


----------



## OneWickedAngel

CarlaSixx said:


> IC I am SO glad that Mercury is out of retrograde. Things always go horribly wrong for me when it's happening. But... now things are looking up. I've been contacted by 3 different guys on dating sites, all of them in my area and in my age range, and not bad looking either :happy:
> 
> Also, I got contacted about a basement apartment in the North end of my city. I LOVE the area that it's in and it's a beautiful and quiet place. The place is also super pet friendly and there's a yard and private bathroom and everything! Within my budget! I'm so very excited about it!
> 
> As well as hearing that I can go back to school and possibly get maturity credits so that I would actually only have to complete one and a half, and not 3, lol. That's pretty darned awesome if you ask me! Plus, I won't have to go full time because I am considered medically disabled and may only need to go about 3 hours a day, if even every day  Awesome!
> 
> So... I think, all in all, this is a good way to kick off the moment, lol. I do hope it continues because I really need this!



WOOT! Glad things are on am upswing for you!


----------



## jewels_mystery

Weeze said:


> I have my first gynecology appointment in two years tomorrow, followed by an interview with a school admissions counselor. Tomorrow is a BIG day and I'm so excited that I get to see my sister tonight before I tackle it. She may be a brat, but her can-do attitude really makes her my rock.



Good luck on both.


----------



## jewels_mystery

CarlaSixx said:


> IC I am SO glad that Mercury is out of retrograde. Things always go horribly wrong for me when it's happening. But... now things are looking up. I've been contacted by 3 different guys on dating sites, all of them in my area and in my age range, and not bad looking either :happy:
> 
> Also, I got contacted about a basement apartment in the North end of my city. I LOVE the area that it's in and it's a beautiful and quiet place. The place is also super pet friendly and there's a yard and private bathroom and everything! Within my budget! I'm so very excited about it!
> 
> As well as hearing that I can go back to school and possibly get maturity credits so that I would actually only have to complete one and a half, and not 3, lol. That's pretty darned awesome if you ask me! Plus, I won't have to go full time because I am considered medically disabled and may only need to go about 3 hours a day, if even every day  Awesome!
> 
> So... I think, all in all, this is a good way to kick off the moment, lol. I do hope it continues because I really need this!




yay. I am happy everything is going your way. I know what you mean about the retrograde, I hate it also.


----------



## CarlaSixx

So... along with good news came bad news  My mother lost one of her jobs. BUT... we're hopeful that something will come out of this, and we're looking for a solution, but I'm still able to do the whole apartment thing if I like the place. It may actually be a good thing if I do move out. It may help my mom out to not have me around. It'll definitely be something new, but I'm not scared anymore. I'm more excited than anything. I've got bright wide eyes trying to imagine what it's going to be like. I've never had that before. I think my time to spread my wings has come  And it might be easier to pick up dudes if I have my own apartment  lol. Just sayin'.


----------



## Punkin1024

CarlaSixx said:


> So... along with good news came bad news  My mother lost one of her jobs. BUT... we're hopeful that something will come out of this, and we're looking for a solution, but I'm still able to do the whole apartment thing if I like the place. It may actually be a good thing if I do move out. It may help my mom out to not have me around. It'll definitely be something new, but I'm not scared anymore. I'm more excited than anything. I've got bright wide eyes trying to imagine what it's going to be like. I've never had that before. I think my time to spread my wings has come  And it might be easier to pick up dudes if I have my own apartment  lol. Just sayin'.



I am so happy that things are going you're way.


----------



## littlefairywren

Weeze said:


> I have my first gynecology appointment in two years tomorrow, followed by an interview with a school admissions counselor. Tomorrow is a BIG day and I'm so excited that I get to see my sister tonight before I tackle it. She may be a brat, but her can-do attitude really makes her my rock.



Good luck with your appointment, Weeze 



CarlaSixx said:


> IC I am SO glad that Mercury is out of retrograde. Things always go horribly wrong for me when it's happening. But... now things are looking up. I've been contacted by 3 different guys on dating sites, all of them in my area and in my age range, and not bad looking either :happy:
> 
> Also, I got contacted about a basement apartment in the North end of my city. I LOVE the area that it's in and it's a beautiful and quiet place. The place is also super pet friendly and there's a yard and private bathroom and everything! Within my budget! I'm so very excited about it!
> 
> As well as hearing that I can go back to school and possibly get maturity credits so that I would actually only have to complete one and a half, and not 3, lol. That's pretty darned awesome if you ask me! Plus, I won't have to go full time because I am considered medically disabled and may only need to go about 3 hours a day, if even every day  Awesome!
> 
> So... I think, all in all, this is a good way to kick off the moment, lol. I do hope it continues because I really need this!



Oooh, I am happy that things are looking up for you. I am sorry your mum lost her job, but fingers crossed that she will not be out of work long.


----------



## jewels_mystery

Well I did not take the job I was so happy about. Called Friday to confirm everything and it was switched to a temporary position. I did not feel comfortable moving over 100 miles for a temp job. It was located in a small town with few other job opportunities. If the job suddenly ended, I would have a hard time finding a new one. So the job hunt is still on. This is the first job I ever turned down and for some reason I am ok with it.


----------



## Tau

In a PR status meeting and the woman I report to just said that the ongoing ugly around sexually abusive priests was 'good because it will give our media outreach additional impetus.' I feel dirty. There are times I really hate my job


----------



## spiritangel

IC After the worst wake up call and stuff (to complicated to go into here) I had managed to pull myself out of a pretty darn blue mood only to have a good friend start telling me to focus on how I want to feel in the future what I want ect the problem being that I dont have answers to those questions and have been struggling enough just to be content and happy in everyday putting one foot in front of the other without loosing my mind 

this year has been a year of feeling like I am finally getting on top of things only to have the rug pulled out from under me when I am getting somewhere

I cant believe, that she is doing this when she knows how bad a day I have had literally reduced me to tears grrrrrr

I was in a great mood cuse I cut out prepped and sewed a whole bear tonight and felt like I had turned a bad day around gah and grrrr and I know she cares and thinks she is doing the right thing but until she was all your not ok I actually was. sorry confessiony rant over


----------



## CastingPearls

Amanda, there have been many times we've had conversations where things that were said were difficult to accept, embrace or think on. And there are time where we want nothing but to vent and perhaps rant and our friends mean well but miss the mark. What I remind myself is that like you said, they mean well and really have my best interests at heart. I also know that when blue, I do tend to dwell on myself and the here and now and the life preserver that is thrown in my direction sometimes bumps me in the head and hurts like hell but it enables me to get to a better place. {{{Hugs}}}


----------



## LovelyLiz

jewels_mystery said:


> Well I did not take the job I was so happy about. Called Friday to confirm everything and it was switched to a temporary position. I did not feel comfortable moving over 100 miles for a temp job. It was located in a small town with few other job opportunities. If the job suddenly ended, I would have a hard time finding a new one. So the job hunt is still on. This is the first job I ever turned down and for some reason I am ok with it.



I'm glad you feel alright with having turned it down. That has to be a good sign, right? Here's hoping with you that a great job is waiting just around the corner for you. 



Tau said:


> In a PR status meeting and the woman I report to just said that the ongoing ugly around sexually abusive priests was 'good because it will give our media outreach additional impetus.' I feel dirty. There are times I really hate my job



Girl, I know what you mean. Not enough soap to clean off that kind of dirty. You're not ruthless enough for that kind of crap.


----------



## spiritangel

CastingPearls said:


> Amanda, there have been many times we've had conversations where things that were said were difficult to accept, embrace or think on. And there are time where we want nothing but to vent and perhaps rant and our friends mean well but miss the mark. What I remind myself is that like you said, they mean well and really have my best interests at heart. I also know that when blue, I do tend to dwell on myself and the here and now and the life preserver that is thrown in my direction sometimes bumps me in the head and hurts like hell but it enables me to get to a better place. {{{Hugs}}}




Hugs I get that honestly but this is a person who knew I had no answers to the questions she is asking its hard enough I have a lot of blank spaces I have no idea about but yeah timming was wrong plus she was doing it for her own reasons not to help me she knew I was in a much better place then pulled the rug. And I am ok just that wasnt what I needed I can usually deal better and stuff but erm sometimes timming is everything and yes I do understand everything you said but at the moment getting through the day and accomplishing something even if it is just yet another bear is what I need.

huggles


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC that I am feeling exhausted after moving all day and then thoroughly cleaning my old apartment. But I'm much more peaceful now that I have moved into my new place! And it was such a great move - I had packed everything up yesterday, and a bunch of friends came and helped me load and unload the truck this morning. A couple unloading helpers were people I just met who live in my new building (How great is that? Strangers helping me unload!?! This is going to be a good building!). All the moving of stuff only took an hour and a half, start to finish. So even though I am really exhausted (I was anxious about moving, so only slept a few hours last night), I am so so so so grateful for my friends; and I feel well-loved. :happy:


----------



## Punkin1024

spiritangel said:


> Hugs I get that honestly but this is a person who knew I had no answers to the questions she is asking its hard enough I have a lot of blank spaces I have no idea about but yeah timming was wrong plus she was doing it for her own reasons not to help me she knew I was in a much better place then pulled the rug. And I am ok just that wasnt what I needed I can usually deal better and stuff but erm sometimes timming is everything and yes I do understand everything you said but at the moment getting through the day and accomplishing something even if it is just yet another bear is what I need.
> 
> huggles



Amanda (((((((HUGS))))))). I know how it feels to be in a good place and have the rug pulled out from under you. I hope completing the task of finishing a bear helps you get back on track with positivity. I know when I feel like no one is for me, I come in here for "warm fuzzies" and hugs. It helps me get through the day. As I say under my Avatar "one day at a time".


----------



## Punkin1024

Wow, I'm replying to a post I made yesterday! Hmmmm!

Anyway, I confess I'm thoroughly confused! I'm working on being as healthy as I can be and I get praise from hubby, friends and family when I exercise and maintain a healthy eating pattern (also get better praise when I drop a few pounds). Anyway, I"ve been watching "The Doctors" and they seem to reinforce maintaining a healthy regimen too (and also, a "healthy weight"). So, I think maybe I should really try to drop the weight (especially around the middle - my family is prone to diabetes). Then I read the article about weight loss can be bad for you. Who does a gal believe? :doh: I remember my Mom went on a liquid protein diet (her Dr. said she'd be dead within a year if she didn't). She drops 120 pounds in 1 year and then Two years later, the weight is back on and six months down the road, she dies from uterine cancer. That's not all - her older sister was a big woman. She decided to drop the weight via exercise and Weight Watchers. She did so, seemed to be doing really well and then BOOM, leukemia diagnosis and she died 6 months later. See the pattern?! Gad...it's difficult being a fat woman in this day and age - information overload and it is usually the WRONG info that family and friends get into their heads. When I tell them about articles that weight loss is bad for you, they just don't believe it. Sigh! Thanks for listening friends. I know many of you are in the same boat.


----------



## Lovelyone

IC that sometimes I really really miss cuddling or just getting a hug for encouragement. (not all the time..only sometimes.)


----------



## littlefairywren

IC that recent weight loss has upset my cycle. My hormones are all out of sync, so I keep crying at the drop of a hat. And if I am not crying, I want to rip someones arm off and smack them over the head with it!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> IC that recent weight loss has upset my cycle. My hormones are all out of sync, so I keep crying at the drop of a hat. And if I am not crying, I want to rip someones arm off and smack them over the head with it!



My poor Chicklet.


----------



## spiritangel

Lovelyone said:


> IC that sometimes I really really miss cuddling or just getting a hug for encouragement. (not all the time..only sometimes.)



I have been missing the same thing and snuggling hugs(know virtual ones are not the same)


and huggles LFW that totally sux sometimes being a woman is rough


----------



## luscious_lulu

littlefairywren said:


> IC that recent weight loss has upset my cycle. My hormones are all out of sync, so I keep crying at the drop of a hat. And if I am not crying, I want to rip someones arm off and smack them over the head with it!



(((hugs)))


----------



## LovelyLiz

littlefairywren said:


> IC that recent weight loss has upset my cycle. My hormones are all out of sync, so I keep crying at the drop of a hat. And if I am not crying, I want to rip someones arm off and smack them over the head with it!



That's the worst - when your mood is all out-of-whack for no good reason! GAH! Sorry, sister. Hope they balance out again soon.


----------



## Dmitra

At the risk of being disarmed -> {{{{LFW}}}}



littlefairywren said:


> IC that recent weight loss has upset my cycle. My hormones are all out of sync, so I keep crying at the drop of a hat. And if I am not crying, I want to rip someones arm off and smack them over the head with it!


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> My poor Chicklet.





spiritangel said:


> I have been missing the same thing and snuggling hugs(know virtual ones are not the same)
> 
> 
> and huggles LFW that totally sux sometimes being a woman is rough





luscious_lulu said:


> (((hugs)))





mcbeth said:


> That's the worst - when your mood is all out-of-whack for no good reason! GAH! Sorry, sister. Hope they balance out again soon.





Dmitra said:


> At the risk of being disarmed -> {{{{LFW}}}}



You guys are the best!! Hugs to you all....and yes, your arms are safe :happy:


----------



## MisticalMisty

jewels_mystery said:


> Well I did not take the job I was so happy about. Called Friday to confirm everything and it was switched to a temporary position. I did not feel comfortable moving over 100 miles for a temp job. It was located in a small town with few other job opportunities. If the job suddenly ended, I would have a hard time finding a new one. So the job hunt is still on. This is the first job I ever turned down and for some reason I am ok with it.



Ugh..I'm so sorry to hear that. What kind of job are you seeking?


----------



## MisticalMisty

thirtiesgirl said:


> If I'd wanted advice, I would have written to Dear Abby. Talk about poor delivery.


Ahh..point proved. Thanks!


----------



## MisticalMisty

ugh..can't catch up..so (((Hugs))) to everyone.


----------



## jewels_mystery

littlefairywren said:


> IC that recent weight loss has upset my cycle. My hormones are all out of sync, so I keep crying at the drop of a hat. And if I am not crying, I want to rip someones arm off and smack them over the head with it!



Sometimes people drive you to want to beat them down. I hope your hormones regulate soon.


----------



## CarlaSixx

Turns out that the apartment I was looking to get is actually out of budget!  And I've just accumulated problems after that. Gawd... and I was so excited. Now I wanna just curl in a ball and die.


----------



## jewels_mystery

CarlaSixx said:


> Turns out that the apartment I was looking to get is actually out of budget!  And I've just accumulated problems after that. Gawd... and I was so excited. Now I wanna just curl in a ball and die.



I am so sorry darling. Something will come your way.


----------



## Punkin1024

littlefairywren said:


> IC that recent weight loss has upset my cycle. My hormones are all out of sync, so I keep crying at the drop of a hat. And if I am not crying, I want to rip someones arm off and smack them over the head with it!



Greetings from the hormone woes club! My problem is pre-menopause. I hope you find something to help soon. I've taken Black Cohosh for quite a while...it does help. And...if all else fails...medicate with chocolate! Seriously though, it is no fun being out of sync hormone and cycle wise. Get with your Dr., he/she may be able to suggest some tweeks to your food intake and perhaps vitamins that will help. I used to have problems with my period being off (6 weeks, on, 2 months off...). For some reason, when I followed a low-carb approach and started taking multi-vitamins, my monthly became very predictable. Don't know what did it, but I figure I did something right for my body. Now, if I can just stop altogether I'll be a happy old woman. Ha!


----------



## verucassault

i know he doesnt deserve me, i know he could never love me the way i need to be loved, i also know that my affection for him is mostly physical but damn. i wish he were more receptive, i wish he were the one. i know i can and will do better. just not a patient girl.


----------



## jewels_mystery

verucassault said:


> i know he doesnt deserve me, i know he could never love me the way i need to be loved, i also know that my affection for him is mostly physical but damn. i wish he were more receptive, i wish he were the one. i know i can and will do better. just not a patient girl.



I have been through that before. hugs


----------



## littlefairywren

jewels_mystery said:


> Sometimes people drive you to want to beat them down. I hope your hormones regulate soon.



Thank you, jewels. I am getting past wanting to "disarm" people, so I am doing good lol.



Punkin1024 said:


> Greetings from the hormone woes club! My problem is pre-menopause. I hope you find something to help soon. I've taken Black Cohosh for quite a while...it does help. And...if all else fails...*medicate with chocolate*! Seriously though, it is no fun being out of sync hormone and cycle wise. Get with your Dr., he/she may be able to suggest some tweeks to your food intake and perhaps vitamins that will help. I used to have problems with my period being off (6 weeks, on, 2 months off...). For some reason, when I followed a low-carb approach and started taking multi-vitamins, my monthly became very predictable. Don't know what did it, but I figure I did something right for my body. Now, if I can just stop altogether I'll be a happy old woman. Ha!



Now you're talking, Ella! Chocolate is good for everything. If I had a wart, I would use that as an excuse to eat it lol. The best part of my cycle going wonky, seems to be that I am not suffering from those insane cramps. So maybe it's a blessing in disguise.


----------



## littlefairywren

verucassault said:


> i know he doesnt deserve me,* i know he could never love me the way i need to be loved*, i also know that my affection for him is mostly physical but damn. i wish he were more receptive, i wish he were the one. i know i can and will do better. just not a patient girl.



That is the hardest part, when they don't or can't love you the way you need. Hugs, veruca!


----------



## Sweet Tooth

I've been *trying* not to be whiny about life lately. I realize I'm pretty blessed in a lot of ways, even if things don't look 100% [or even 75%] the way I'd like them to.

Still, I've had a few things that I've been venting about in my head. A [currently] minor but frustrating health issue, way too many hours at work getting the school year started and not enough sleep at night, an old car that needs to be replaced, an old cat that may not be much longer for this world and trying to decide when certain choices need to be made for her benefit and not mine, a family member who wants approval I can't give even if I can give love and some modicum of acceptance, frustration with finding decent work pants because it seems my shape isn't currently trendy [as if it ever were] which is compounded by certain stores not carrying above size 26 now, and just general daily annoyances.

And then one of my friends sends a message that her husband's very rare brain tumor is growing again and he needs surgery that has so, so many risks.

IC that it makes my issues pale in comparison... so pale they might as well be vapor.... and yet I still find myself being whiny in my head about my own issues, and I don't like that about myself.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

verucassault said:


> i know he doesnt deserve me, i know he could never love me the way i need to be loved, i also know that my affection for him is mostly physical but damn. i wish he were more receptive, i wish he were the one. i know i can and will do better. just not a patient girl.





Sweet Tooth said:


> I've been *trying* not to be whiny about life lately. I realize I'm pretty blessed in a lot of ways, even if things don't look 100% [or even 75%] the way I'd like them to.
> 
> Still, I've had a few things that I've been venting about in my head. A [currently] minor but frustrating health issue, way too many hours at work getting the school year started and not enough sleep at night, an old car that needs to be replaced, an old cat that may not be much longer for this world and trying to decide when certain choices need to be made for her benefit and not mine, a family member who wants approval I can't give even if I can give love and some modicum of acceptance, frustration with finding decent work pants because it seems my shape isn't currently trendy [as if it ever were] which is compounded by certain stores not carrying above size 26 now, and just general daily annoyances.
> 
> And then one of my friends sends a message that her husband's very rare brain tumor is growing again and he needs surgery that has so, so many risks.
> 
> IC that it makes my issues pale in comparison... so pale they might as well be vapor.... and yet I still find myself being whiny in my head about my own issues, and I don't like that about myself.



(((hugs))) to both of you, and I hope things turn around.


----------



## CastingPearls

verucassault said:


> i know he doesnt deserve me, i know he could never love me the way i need to be loved, i also know that my affection for him is mostly physical but damn. i wish he were more receptive, i wish he were the one. i know i can and will do better. just not a patient girl.


I just went through this and am extricating myself from it now. I decided I deserved better and would rather be alone than ever settle again. Luckily, I didn't have to be alone or settle anyway which really has become an unexpected surprise and bonus. Good luck to you.


----------



## Punkin1024

verucassault said:


> i know he doesnt deserve me, i know he could never love me the way i need to be loved, i also know that my affection for him is mostly physical but damn. i wish he were more receptive, i wish he were the one. i know i can and will do better. just not a patient girl.



(((((((Hugs))))))) There's not much more I can say other than, been there before and I understand the frustration. I hope you find "the one" soon.



Sweet Tooth said:


> I've been *trying* not to be whiny about life lately. I realize I'm pretty blessed in a lot of ways, even if things don't look 100% [or even 75%] the way I'd like them to.
> 
> Still, I've had a few things that I've been venting about in my head. A [currently] minor but frustrating health issue, way too many hours at work getting the school year started and not enough sleep at night, an old car that needs to be replaced, an old cat that may not be much longer for this world and trying to decide when certain choices need to be made for her benefit and not mine, a family member who wants approval I can't give even if I can give love and some modicum of acceptance, frustration with finding decent work pants because it seems my shape isn't currently trendy [as if it ever were] which is compounded by certain stores not carrying above size 26 now, and just general daily annoyances.
> 
> And then one of my friends sends a message that her husband's very rare brain tumor is growing again and he needs surgery that has so, so many risks.
> 
> IC that it makes my issues pale in comparison... so pale they might as well be vapor.... and yet I still find myself being whiny in my head about my own issues, and I don't like that about myself.




Oh, how I hear you on this. So many times I wish someone would just be there fore me and understand. I know so many people that have far, far worse circumstances than myself, but, hey sometimes it helps to voiceyour own "pains in the side" and just get them out there. (((((((Hugs)))))))


----------



## verucassault

thanks ladies
i dont even believe in the traditional idea of having a "one". i dont really expect relationships to last forever, but then again i hope they last for some time. meh. my hormones have me feeling some sorta way. but thanks for all the kind words and hugs.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Hugs Sweet and Veruca. I can identify with what both of you are saying. I'm often attracted to the beautiful but clueless boys, and I know what you mean, Sweet, about feeling overwhelmed, but feeling like a heel for wanting to talk about what's bothering you.

My school year just started, too, and I worked nonstop since Monday, 7:30-5 pm, without a lunch break. I had a parent follow me to my car on Wednesday, after I'd shut down my computer and was leaving to go home. He continued to blather on about his kid, even as I was getting in my car and didn't seem to have a clue that after 5 pm, my life becomes more important to me than whether his daughter is going to graduate. I worked last Saturday for 6 hours for free, to make sure all the kids on my caseload had classes, and I'm supposed to do some hour-long online training this weekend at home because I didn't have a chance to do it at work last week, when the school district knew we'd be swamped with students. Why they made it due last week is beyond me, but that's how my school district does things. None of it ever makes any sense.


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that after much thought, I've decided to take down my website. It just seems surperfluous nowadays with Facebook. I have about the same info on FB and in here as I do on the website and FB is free (for now anyways). It does kinda make me sad though because I've had the website for years, but we need to cut corners on our budget, so the website goes. Sigh!


----------



## littlefairywren

IC that I am about to hurt someone, and it is something I have to do. But I don't know how to do it, and it is making me feel sick.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> IC that I am about to hurt someone, and it is something I have to do. But I don't know how to do it, and it is making me feel sick.





(((hugs))), to my Chicklet.

:wubu:


----------



## spiritangel

littlefairywren said:


> IC that I am about to hurt someone, and it is something I have to do. But I don't know how to do it, and it is making me feel sick.



Hugs here if you need me, sometimes honesty is the best way to go

and the old sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind better to be hurt now than further down the track


----------



## CastingPearls

littlefairywren said:


> IC that I am about to hurt someone, and it is something I have to do. But I don't know how to do it, and it is making me feel sick.


I recently had to let someone down I really care about. It wasn't easy at all. But I'm glad I did. I needed to and I have to give that person a lot of credit for taking it well.


----------



## LovelyLiz

littlefairywren said:


> IC that I am about to hurt someone, and it is something I have to do. But I don't know how to do it, and it is making me feel sick.



Sending you some vibes of strength. Hope you can get it over with ASAP so that sinking feeling can go away. I totally know that feeling, and it's so not fun. Hang in there.


----------



## Jes

sometimes i get butterflies in my tummy because of how wonderful some things (and people) can be.


----------



## snuggletiger

littlefairywren said:


> IC that I am about to hurt someone, and it is something I have to do. But I don't know how to do it, and it is making me feel sick.



hugs from the Great Gilmorris


----------



## Sweet Tooth

Thanks, everyone who sent little messages or thoughts on here. 

Shall I vent about how it took me 5 stinkin' days and 4 trips to get a stupid flu shot?  Yeah... I know... could be way worse. An annoyance, but not a serious issue.

Lighthearted confession of the day: I'm a major reader. I inhale books. I'm the type who reads the box of cereal over breakfast. But, for some reason, if I have something happening in a dream [as happened last night when someone asked me where I was in a book and I was flipping pages trying to find the page I was on], I can't read. Everything is blurry. In my dream, I'll be staring at it hard, trying to make out what something says, but I just can't. And I know I can't. It's sort of like my brain is even saying, in my dream, "Oh, you're dreaming so you can't read this." I can even write stuff in my dreams and not be able to read it after I write it. Weird?


----------



## jewels_mystery

littlefairywren said:


> IC that I am about to hurt someone, and it is something I have to do. But I don't know how to do it, and it is making me feel sick.



hugs to you. It will get easier.


----------



## CarlaSixx

I, for some reason, often feel like I've got the wrong shape for my body. Like I'm the wrong type of fat because I'm not all jiggly or stuff like that. (don't get me started on the other end of the spectrum, though). I think it all stems from seeing sites like this one where there's admirers of large ladies, and seeing the ones who get the most response, I feel deformed more than ever before.  It was great while the high of "wow, ppl like fat chicks!" lasted... but now it's more dead than ever before. Now I just feel worse because I don't look anything like the ones on here who get lots of compliments.

I know this is a horrible way to view it. Seriously. I _know._ But it doesn't change the fact that it's how I feel. I feel like my fat is not the right-looking type of fat to be accepted.

Gah... I can't win


----------



## jewels_mystery

CarlaSixx said:


> I, for some reason, often feel like I've got the wrong shape for my body. Like I'm the wrong type of fat because I'm not all jiggly or stuff like that. (don't get me started on the other end of the spectrum, though). I think it all stems from seeing sites like this one where there's admirers of large ladies, and seeing the ones who get the most response, I feel deformed more than ever before.  It was great while the high of "wow, ppl like fat chicks!" lasted... but now it's more dead than ever before. Now I just feel worse because I don't look anything like the ones on here who get lots of compliments.
> 
> I know this is a horrible way to view it. Seriously. I _know._ But it doesn't change the fact that it's how I feel. I feel like my fat is not the right-looking type of fat to be accepted.
> 
> Gah... I can't win



We all experience envy at one point or another. Nothing is wrong with that. On a side note, I think you are gorgeous!!!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

CarlaSixx said:


> I, for some reason, often feel like I've got the wrong shape for my body. Like I'm the wrong type of fat because I'm not all jiggly or stuff like that. (don't get me started on the other end of the spectrum, though). I think it all stems from seeing sites like this one where there's admirers of large ladies, and seeing the ones who get the most response, I feel deformed more than ever before.  It was great while the high of "wow, ppl like fat chicks!" lasted... but now it's more dead than ever before. Now I just feel worse because I don't look anything like the ones on here who get lots of compliments.
> 
> I know this is a horrible way to view it. Seriously. I _know._ But it doesn't change the fact that it's how I feel. I feel like my fat is not the right-looking type of fat to be accepted.
> 
> Gah... I can't win



Yeah, I totally get this, and often feel the same way. For what it's worth, pretty much everyone here has felt like marginalized because they don't fit someone else's standard of beauty.


----------



## spiritangel

IC I am mad at my sister cause she borrowed some stamps she was only sposed to borrow one set and I just cleaned out my stamp box and found numerous sets missing wonder if she is gonna say she doesnt have them then when I find them at her house do her usual oh they are mine i bought them last week grrrrrrr


----------



## Mishty

CarlaSixx said:


> I, for some reason, often feel like I've got the wrong shape for my body. Like I'm the wrong type of fat because I'm not all jiggly or stuff like that. (don't get me started on the other end of the spectrum, though). I think it all stems from seeing sites like this one where there's admirers of large ladies, and seeing the ones who get the most response, I feel deformed more than ever before.  It was great while the high of "wow, ppl like fat chicks!" lasted... but now it's more dead than ever before. Now I just feel worse because I don't look anything like the ones on here who get lots of compliments.
> 
> I know this is a horrible way to view it. Seriously. I _know._ But it doesn't change the fact that it's how I feel. I feel like my fat is not the right-looking type of fat to be accepted.
> 
> Gah... I can't win




I know girl, god I know.
when I first came to Dims, my mind was blown away and so excited!

Then, I started lookin' around, and once again was left with the feeling that my body is weird. _really weird._
The muscles you've mentioned before? Yeah, my legs and butt are so damn tight and toned it's crazy, my ass is tighter and firmer than someone 1/3 my size. So, I started hating that as soon possible, cause it wasn't wide, or jiggly. Next came my belly, which I've always thought was sexy, but wait, it doesn't do it's job and cover my mound, so there we go, once again I'm a outsider. My nipples are to tiny compare to the ones I've seen on paysites, I don't have hips. I have a fat face. No neck.... a dowagers hump. 

I bet, those "perfectly shaped fat girls" we see all over the boards hate parts to. It's human to compare yourself, but it's just not healthy. Fat forms in diff places and ways on every body. 

I also dress like you wearing jeans that seem to fall off my body, shirts that billow and skirts to the ground, cause I'm not sure...how...clothes should fit me. The scale says I'm 355 and I'm 5'9ish....so I look smaller than 355, but I buy clothes made for someone that weight. My mom is the opposite though, always bought my clothes to big, and even now when she comes with me some how talks be into buying the biggest size the stores offer, whether it's a 3X or a 5X. I'm trying to just buy clothes for my body...but what is my body?


----------



## Jes

CarlaSixx said:


> I, for some reason, often feel like I've got the wrong shape for my body. Like I'm the wrong type of fat because I'm not all jiggly or stuff like that. (don't get me started on the other end of the spectrum, though). I think it all stems from seeing sites like this one where there's admirers of large ladies, and seeing the ones who get the most response, I feel deformed more than ever before.



right? i did too. 

i didn't know, before i joined dims, about all of the categories and subcategories of fat. all of the facts and figures that people tally and create when obsessing about their fetish or their preference. before dims, i was just fat. after dims I was an apple with ... well, you get the point.

eventually, you'll get to a place of 'and? so what?' I get it if you're not there yet. It took me awhile, and i'm sure i'm not the only one.

so, godspeed, baby. godspeed.


----------



## luscious_lulu

I Think they key is to learn to love your body as it is. Someone will always have something you are envious about. 

As an example, my friend, Gypsy, has an awesome bubblebutt. Trust me when I say her milkshake brings all the boys to her yard. I have butt envy. I'm not saying my ass sucks, but it's not the attention grabber hers is. 

Love yourself and others will find you attractive.


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> (((hugs))), to my Chicklet.
> 
> :wubu:





spiritangel said:


> Hugs here if you need me, sometimes honesty is the best way to go
> 
> and the old sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind better to be hurt now than further down the track





CastingPearls said:


> I recently had to let someone down I really care about. It wasn't easy at all. But I'm glad I did. I needed to and I have to give that person a lot of credit for taking it well.





mcbeth said:


> Sending you some vibes of strength. Hope you can get it over with ASAP so that sinking feeling can go away. I totally know that feeling, and it's so not fun. Hang in there.





snuggletiger said:


> hugs from the Great Gilmorris





jewels_mystery said:


> hugs to you. It will get easier.



I know deep deep down that I did the right thing, but I never want to have to do that again! I also know that this terrible guilt and pain that I now feel is also necessary, and that sometimes being an adult completely sucks arse. 

Thank you for your kind thoughts people (and Gilmorris), I honestly don't think I could have done it without your words of encouragement.


----------



## CarlaSixx

Thanks. . I'm really trying but some days are just way worse than others.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

That's why I spend time in other fat acceptance communities, too. Like LJ's Fatshionista community; checking out the Fatshionista photo group on Flickr; reading and commenting on fat acceptance blogs like Lesley Kinzel's Fatshionista, Marianne Kirby's Rotund, and Kate Harding's Shapely Prose (when it's active). It gives me a sense of perspective.


----------



## Lovelyone

IC that I am thinking about someone that I know I shouldn't be thinking about. Does it really count if you only wish them to be well and hope they are happy even if they aren't in your life anymore?


----------



## Tracyarts

" I feel like my fat is not the right-looking type of fat to be accepted. "

I've noticed that when it comes to different groups of people, especially those who share some kind of common interest or form some kind of community, there will always be standards, norms, and ideals. And no matter how much it feels like "family" on the surface, there will always be those who are placed on a pedestal, and those who are kicked to the corners. I distinctly remember what it felt like to go from the excitement of "wow, there is a whole subculture out there where fat is accepted and fat women are beautiful" to the letdown of "but some kinds/degrees of fat are more accepted and more beautiful than others". 

And to be completely honest, I felt worse about myself inside the fat scene. Because outside of it, I was so far away from the ideal that I didn't even feel as if I was part of the competition and that took a lot of the pressure off of me. But, inside the fat scene, I was so much closer to the ideal, just never close enough because I was either not fat enough or fat enough but just not the right shape of fat. And that really brought me down for a while. Because of the whole "so close, but so far away" thing. 

My strategy to cope with the pressure of being close but not quite, was to compartmentalize the fat scene and cultivate most of my strong friendships and all of my romantic relationships outside of it. I made it a place to play, but not the place where I would live. And once I was no longer so invested in it, the ideals and how close I came to measuring up to them didn't matter anymore. 

Tracy


----------



## Jes

Tracyarts said:


> " I feel like my fat is not the right-looking type of fat to be accepted. "
> 
> I've noticed that when it comes to different groups of people, especially those who share some kind of common interest or form some kind of community, there will always be standards, norms, and ideals.



fan*tas*tic post, miss lady!


----------



## Carrie

It is very true that the "right kind of fat" mentality can be pretty disheartening at times. :\ And weird, because I would think that with all of the different kinds of fat bodies out there, it would be pretty fun to embrace and experience many of them, instead of limiting one's attraction to or acceptance of to one kind. But there are rigid expectations everywhere we turn in life, I guess. It just means those people are going to experience less awesomeness, so too bad for them.


----------



## gypsy

luscious_lulu said:


> As an example, my friend, Gypsy, has an awesome bubblebutt. Trust me when I say her milkshake brings all the boys to her yard. I have butt envy. I'm not saying my ass sucks, but it's not the attention grabber hers is.



It's not like I can *see* the attention thought, like *YOUR HUGE AND LUSCIOUS BOOBIES* can. By the time the admiration happens I have already walked away!!!!!! 

See? Everyone has body envy.


----------



## Jes

I'm horny and my hair looks TOTALLY AWESOME today.


----------



## CastingPearls

Tracyarts said:


> " I feel like my fat is not the right-looking type of fat to be accepted. "
> 
> I've noticed that when it comes to different groups of people, especially those who share some kind of common interest or form some kind of community, there will always be standards, norms, and ideals. And no matter how much it feels like "family" on the surface, there will always be those who are placed on a pedestal, and those who are kicked to the corners. I distinctly remember what it felt like to go from the excitement of "wow, there is a whole subculture out there where fat is accepted and fat women are beautiful" to the letdown of "but some kinds/degrees of fat are more accepted and more beautiful than others".
> 
> And to be completely honest, I felt worse about myself inside the fat scene. Because outside of it, I was so far away from the ideal that I didn't even feel as if I was part of the competition and that took a lot of the pressure off of me. But, inside the fat scene, I was so much closer to the ideal, just never close enough because I was either not fat enough or fat enough but just not the right shape of fat. And that really brought me down for a while. Because of the whole "so close, but so far away" thing.
> 
> My strategy to cope with the pressure of being close but not quite, was to compartmentalize the fat scene and cultivate most of my strong friendships and all of my romantic relationships outside of it. I made it a place to play, but not the place where I would live. And once I was no longer so invested in it, the ideals and how close I came to measuring up to them didn't matter anymore.
> 
> Tracy


Tracy, this is a great post. Thank!


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Carrie said:


> It is very true that the "right kind of fat" mentality can be pretty disheartening at times. :\ And weird, because I would think that with all of the different kinds of fat bodies out there, it would be pretty fun to embrace and experience many of them, instead of limiting one's attraction to or acceptance of to one kind. But there are rigid expectations everywhere we turn in life, I guess. It just means those people are going to experience less awesomeness, so too bad for them.



This. Well said. I experience rejection and lack of interest from both the fat dating scene and non-fat-centric dating scene. I've never been the "right kind of fat"; nor has my body ever been seen as 'socially acceptable' by anyone else.

...Well, let me amend that. There _have_ been a number of guys in both the fat and non-fat dating scenes who were interested in me and found my body perfectly acceptable (usually as long as casual sex was involved), but these are not guys I'd want to continue dating. I've yet to find one who meets that criteria who is single and whom I want to date.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Confession: being overworked is making me loopy and causing me to do stupid things in front of my school principal. I was joking with some other counselors today while we were waiting for students to file into the auditorium for an assembly. There were some students already in the auditorium, and I happened to say the word _ass_ rather loudly as I was joking with my co-workers, just as the principal walked by and happened to look in my direction. :doh: Not one of my better moments. I hope that doesn't come back to bite me in the butt. ...I'd write ass, but I'm almost afraid to.


----------



## CarlaSixx

I really appreciate the responses. It's nice to see I'm not the only one who's dealt with the feeling and doesn't like it. Oddly enough, it feels more accepting when people discuss how they haven't felt accepted. Odd how that works, eh?

----

IC I really should have gone out the door with makeup on.


----------



## Ample Pie

IC that I need more female friends.
IC that I hate musical warfare.
IC that I have been making bad choices.
IC that I often feel like I don't deserve what I have.
IC that I generally feel like only half or a person or less.


----------



## Jes

CarlaSixx said:


> I really appreciate the responses. It's nice to see I'm not the only one who's dealt with the feeling and doesn't like it. Oddly enough, it feels more accepting when people discuss how they haven't felt accepted. Odd how that works, eh?
> 
> .



'The truth shall set you free' is a really important concept.


----------



## Jes

i confess that a publisher sent me a come on to send in a book proposal and i want it to happen more than most things i've wanted in years.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Jes said:


> i confess that a publisher sent me a come on to send in a book proposal and i want it to happen more than most things i've wanted in years.



Great news! What's the book about????? Very happy for you!


----------



## Jes

mcbeth said:


> Great news! What's the book about????? Very happy for you!



thank you! the book ... isn't about anything, yet. Sort of. I'd be editing it, and making a contribution to it, but it's all very vague right now. And, like I said, it's just a proposal that was solicited (with no guarantee of publication). But I still feel like it's a pretty big deal and one way of contributing to scholarship in my field which would be truly a dream come true.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Jes said:


> thank you! the book ... isn't about anything, yet. Sort of. I'd be editing it, and making a contribution to it, but it's all very vague right now. And, like I said, it's just a proposal that was solicited (with no guarantee of publication). But I still feel like it's a pretty big deal and one way of contributing to scholarship in my field which would be truly a dream come true.



Still...the proposal is the first step! Hope it goes well. Good for you!!!!


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Jes said:


> i confess that a publisher sent me a come on to send in a book proposal and i want it to happen more than most things i've wanted in years.



:bow: I'm immensely impressed and jealous. I'm a wannabe writer at heart, but I don't have any stories to tell.

IC I was able to redeem myself a little bit today at work, for which I'm glad. I kind of behaved like an ass yesterday at work and got caught doing it by the principal. This afternoon, around 4:30, while I was busily working on my students' class change requests, the principal came in my office to ask me to check on a student. He'd just received a phone call from a concerned parent who said her daughter was missing a class on her schedule. The student happened to be on my case load, so I was able to solve the problem in an instant and take the issue off his hands. It was just fortuitous that the principal happened to approach me in my office, since I was the only counselor working late today. Had I not been around, he would have had to take care of the issue himself and discovered that the student was on my case load, which would not have made me look very good in his eyes. ...Anyway, sigh of relief that things worked out the way they did.


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I'm a little ticked off at the fact that I'm apparently too fat to call myself a BBW, but not fat enough to call myself an SSBBW. All I can say is *W.T.F.*

Seriously? Can I _ever _get a frikkin break?!


----------



## jewels_mystery

CarlaSixx said:


> IC I'm a little ticked off at the fact that I'm apparently too fat to call myself a BBW, but not fat enough to call myself an SSBBW. All I can say is *W.T.F.*
> 
> Seriously? Can I _ever _get a frikkin break?!



Been there. lol


----------



## CarlaSixx

Maybe I'll just invent "category Baby Blimp" for those who, like me, are un-taggable because our weight is not a certain number, but our height would make us a certain label. 

Like... weight to height ratio, I am a full fledged SSBBW, but when it comes to what others would call an SSBBW, I have to be AT LEAST 400 lbs?! Nonsense  What happened to taking it from the ratio?!  

Whatever.

Done now.



Carry on with daily living.


----------



## Carrie

Carla, please stay tuned for an incoming PM. Also, please keep in mind that the moderators here at Dims are volunteers, with lives and jobs and such. We do our best to take care of business here in a timely fashion, but sometimes real life interferes. We're not a 24/7 customer service call center. 

Thank you.


----------



## CarlaSixx

Please don't think I'm talking about that... I've been asked by people outside Dims (who I believe are lurkers here) what I am, and want details cuz they don't believe me when I show a pic. (Formspring is starting to be a thing of evil for that) Then they bring up numbers only and... :doh: I feel like an idiot most of the time 

My fault for contacting someone who supposedly finds SSBBWs attractive, and said I wasn't big enough for him


----------



## Carrie

Okay, thank you very much for clarifying. My mistake, apologies for the mix-up.


----------



## CarlaSixx

Carrie said:


> Okay, thank you very much for clarifying. My mistake, apologies for the mix-up.



I should have been clear, too  Sorry. I know that can be seen as part of it because it's recent. It's not.

PS: I couldn't send to SVS cuz her inbox was full.


----------



## Carrie

CarlaSixx said:


> I should have been clear, too  Sorry. I know that can be seen as part of it because it's recent. It's not.


Nope, nope, nope, you're fine! That was totally my fault, made an assumption where I shouldn't have. 


CarlaSixx said:


> PS: I couldn't send to SVS cuz her inbox was full.


Her inbox is always full 'cause of all teh mens proposing marriage and stuff. She's a strumpet, she is. :batting:


----------



## SoVerySoft

Carla, sorry! I've cleared little space in my inbox now. There was a recent influx. 

Carrie, a roomful of people just stared at me when I laughed hysterically at my iPhone.


----------



## CarlaSixx

Lol! Poor you, SVS  At least they're proposing marriage and not sending nekkid pics... or are they? 

Carrie, thanks for the message  Will follow instructions to a T.


----------



## CarlaSixx

Sorry for double posting, but I was just wondering if I'm right. Is it really by ratio? I hate when people fight me over something like that... it always gets me second guessing things :doh: He's still harping on about the 400lbs or more thing. If he wasn't interested, he should just say it and go away, right? I'm getting the feeling he wants me to gain weight... I should direct him to my blog or something  teehee! 

On the upside... I made a new friend by comparing wierdnesses with each other  I've apparently got him beat! haha. 

Yes... this makes me happier and proud. Please don't ask


----------



## CastingPearls

CarlaSixx said:


> Sorry for double posting, but I was just wondering if I'm right. Is it really by ratio? I hate when people fight me over something like that... it always gets me second guessing things :doh: He's still harping on about the 400lbs or more thing. If he wasn't interested, he should just say it and go away, right? I'm getting the feeling he wants me to gain weight... I should direct him to my blog or something  teehee!
> 
> On the upside... I made a new friend by comparing wierdnesses with each other  I've apparently got him beat! haha.
> 
> Yes... this makes me happier and proud. Please don't ask


I've always been under the impression that an SSBBW of 'average height' is 350 lbs. or more. You're 4'11, I think, so it would have to be proportional/ratio, not a hard number.
Not to mention the variables of natural build and musculature too.


----------



## jdsumm

IC I just recognized what issue has a hold on me and is causing me great emotional harm. I am harboring a strong case of resentment toward someone who has wronged me. They have apologized for it and I understand and have extended forgiveness (or at least the intention of forgiveness--apparently I haven't completed the forgiveness thing or I assume the resentment and rage would be gone). We are friends, but I have this STRONG RESENTMENT that I need to deal with so I can be healthy again. This happened over a period of time, not just one event. Even though I didn't recognize the resentment, it has been festering for much of this year so it has a pretty good hold on me.


----------



## spiritangel

jdsumm said:


> IC I just recognized what issue has a hold on me and is causing me great emotional harm. I am harboring a strong case of resentment toward someone who has wronged me. They have apologized for it and I understand and have extended forgiveness (or at least the intention of forgiveness--apparently I haven't completed the forgiveness thing or I assume the resentment and rage would be gone). We are friends, but I have this STRONG RESENTMENT that I need to deal with so I can be healthy again. This happened over a period of time, not just one event. Even though I didn't recognize the resentment, it has been festering for much of this year so it has a pretty good hold on me.




Hugs glad you have recognised it and are taking steps to heal that. and lots of hugs.


----------



## Sweet Tooth

jdsumm said:


> IC I just recognized what issue has a hold on me and is causing me great emotional harm. I am harboring a strong case of resentment toward someone who has wronged me. They have apologized for it and I understand and have extended forgiveness (or at least the intention of forgiveness--apparently I haven't completed the forgiveness thing or I assume the resentment and rage would be gone). We are friends, but I have this STRONG RESENTMENT that I need to deal with so I can be healthy again. This happened over a period of time, not just one event. Even though I didn't recognize the resentment, it has been festering for much of this year so it has a pretty good hold on me.



Been there. Message me if you want to talk.


----------



## jdsumm

spiritangel said:


> Hugs glad you have recognised it and are taking steps to heal that. and lots of hugs.



Thank you so much! I needed those hugs 



Sweet Tooth said:


> Been there. Message me if you want to talk.




Thanks Sweet Tooth! I know you have and I'd really appreciate the chance to talk. It might be a day or two cause I am a bit of an emotional wreck at the moment, but I'll be taking you up on that offer.


----------



## Tau

Jes said:


> i confess that a publisher sent me a come on to send in a book proposal and i want it to happen more than most things i've wanted in years.



OMW Jes!!!!!! *dance of gleeeeee!!!*


----------



## Tau

CarlaSixx said:


> Sorry for double posting, but I was just wondering if I'm right. Is it really by ratio? I hate when people fight me over something like that... it always gets me second guessing things :doh: He's still harping on about the 400lbs or more thing. If he wasn't interested, he should just say it and go away, right? I'm getting the feeling he wants me to gain weight... I should direct him to my blog or something  teehee!
> 
> On the upside... I made a new friend by comparing wierdnesses with each other  I've apparently got him beat! haha.
> 
> Yes... this makes me happier and proud. Please don't ask



Men who are bad mannered enough to badger you about your weight - whether its losing or gaining - are giant douche faces and you need to tell him to fuck off. He's not worth your interest or your time Carla - you're too awesome for that kind of abuse.


----------



## Tracyarts

" He's still harping on about the 400lbs or more thing. If he wasn't interested, he should just say it and go away, right? I'm getting the feeling he wants me to gain weight... "

If it were me, I'd just put him on ignore and never look back. He's more concerned with trying to figure out whether you meet the right criteria required to stick you in a particular little box with a particular little label on it than trying to figure out if you're somebody he'd like to get to know better. People like that don't make for good relationship material because it's always about what you are instead of who you are. 

Tracy


----------



## luscious_lulu

Carla, Tau & Tracy are right on the money. You need to tell him to hit the road. 

The only expectations you need to live up to ate. Your own.


----------



## littlefairywren

jdsumm said:


> IC I just recognized what issue has a hold on me and is causing me great emotional harm. I am harboring a strong case of resentment toward someone who has wronged me. They have apologized for it and I understand and have extended forgiveness (or at least the intention of forgiveness--apparently I haven't completed the forgiveness thing or I assume the resentment and rage would be gone). We are friends, but I have this STRONG RESENTMENT that I need to deal with so I can be healthy again. This happened over a period of time, not just one event. Even though I didn't recognize the resentment, it has been festering for much of this year so it has a pretty good hold on me.



(((jdsumm)))


----------



## gypsy

luscious_lulu said:


> The only expectations you need to live up *to ate. Your own*.



You really need to shut off the "autocorrect" function on your iPhone, lady


----------



## gobettiepurple

IC that I totally got my hopes up last night when i met this really cute guy that seemed to be into me. long story short, found out this morning that he has a gf or something. anyway . . . i think its just too much drama for me to be involved with.

I am sort of sad about it, which makes me even more mortified. ugh . . . i feel really blah right now. im trying not to take the situation personal, but i cant help but feel a little let down by the whole thing. and sort of depressed


----------



## LovelyLiz

gobettiepurple said:


> IC that I totally got my hopes up last night when i met this really cute guy that seemed to be into me. long story short, found out this morning that he has a gf or something. anyway . . . i think its just too much drama for me to be involved with.
> 
> I am sort of sad about it, which makes me even more mortified. ugh . . . i feel really blah right now. im trying not to take the situation personal, but i cant help but feel a little let down by the whole thing. and sort of depressed



WHAT????!!!???!!! NOOO!!!  I am so sorry, GBP. Big big hugs for you.

That is so horrible, and that guy is a total douche. Seriously. What a huge jerk. You deserve a million times better. 

But that feeling of getting hopes up and then having them quickly dashed to smithereens upon the rocks...I know it well. It's the worst. Please let me know if you need anything. Hang in there, sister. (((HUGS)))


----------



## leener38

I confess to wanting to be fatter. Just lost 25lbs, and I totally miss it! Not that anyone could tell, really; I still weigh 270. Of course, the older you get, the harder it is to lose. Also, health can be an issue. 

Yeah, yeah whatever! 

The point is, I want to pour silky smooth mashed potatoes down my gullet until my belly is round and firm. Yum. 

Totally not feasible, but an unfulfilled wish. I so have issues! That's why I'm here, right? LOL

/rant or, um, confession.


----------



## CarlaSixx

I finally found a tape measure to measure myself today. From what I've seen, I'm actually a size 26, not a 28 nor a 30 like I've been wearing, which is why those clothes aren't fitting right. I should be happy, but I'm totally indifferent. But at least I know I'm not all that far off from the size I was in high school, so I think I can get to that size by my birthday


----------



## thirtiesgirl

IC that I had a really shitty day at work and am now feeling bad about myself and kind of hating my students. For the past 3 weeks, I've been working non-stop from 7:30 in the morning until 4:30 or 5 p.m. without a lunch break just to make sure my students are in all their right classes. I've had long lines of students outside my door, trying to make changes in their schedules and I've seen them all and made as many changes as I could make. I have over 500 students on my case load, and obviously not all of them came by my office to make changes... but it felt like nearly half of them did. 

In addition, I've had at least 10 new students join my case load in the past 3 weeks and I've had to work hard to create class schedules for them, trying to fit them in classes that are already full with too many students, while also making sure they're not repeating any classes they've had before, and are programmed into the classes they need. Programming a brand new student can take up to an hour, if not longer, trying to balance needed classes with what's available.

This past week, I've been going through my students' class change forms that they wrote on paper, doing what schedule changes I can and trying to honor their requests. Since we ran out of class change forms last week, most students have been writing their requests on a piece of notebook paper and leaving it in my message box outside my office door. Today, I was finally able to look through all the class change requests written on notebook paper... and found one girl who decided she just had to let me know, "you take way too long with your students." Of course she didn't sign her name to it. I could tell a girl had written it by the handwriting.

The note actually gave me a chuckle, thinking this unknown girl was so mad at me to have used up a precious piece of notebook paper just to let me know how she was feeling. I later showed the note to a teacher who was visiting my office to check on a student's grades. After reading the note, in an attempt to be sympathetic, the teacher rolled her eyes and said to me, "oh yeah, all the kids in my class are complaining that you're too slow and you don't know what you're doing." As if to say, "the students are just a bunch of complaining babies, don't pay them any mind."

The _"you don't know what you're doing"_ part really stung me, though. I've been working my ass off with no breaks, including working for free for 6 hours the Saturday before school started, just to make sure my kids have the right classes. And some of them are bitching that "I don't know what I'm doing"?? I know you can't please all the people all the time, but I've worked damn hard for my students and to hear that's how they feel about me really doesn't make me want to do anything else for them ever again.

I left work in a really bad mood this afternoon, feeling like shit the whole way home.


----------



## MisticalMisty

Ugh..I'm really sorry thirtiesgirl. Working in Education is a thankless job about 99.9% of the time..even with the age group I work with right now.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Me too, 30s. Sorry you had such a crappy day. The thing that sucks is that you get zero accolades and praise when you work hard and do everything well (like working long hours these past few weeks), but then when things get backed up and take more time, everyone is gonna pounce with the negative statements. I work with young people too, and find that to be the case sometimes. It's crappy.

Hope tonight is restful for you, and that tomorrow goes better - go do something nice for yourself!


----------



## Sweet Tooth

thirtiesgirl said:


> IC that I had a really shitty day at work and am now feeling bad about myself and kind of hating my students. For the past 3 weeks, I've been working non-stop from 7:30 in the morning until 4:30 or 5 p.m. without a lunch break just to make sure my students are in all their right classes. I've had long lines of students outside my door, trying to make changes in their schedules and I've seen them all and made as many changes as I could make. I have over 500 students on my case load, and obviously not all of them came by my office to make changes... but it felt like nearly half of them did.
> <snip>



I'm there with you, too. My counselor is very part time, and I have about 250 student in my program each semester that must be re-registered each and every time there's a semester change. Since they're adults, they may have been out of school for a long time, which makes records hard to track down. Add to that local board policies and grant requirements... it's quite an undertaking. Oh, and let's not forget the 80 cosmetology students who are the biggest drama queens I ever met - and I am in charge of their discipline.

Anyway, point being... it's rough out there. Take care of yourself. Try to carve out some time for yourself, even if it feels impossible. Sometimes just running out to get my lunch, even if I eat it at my desk with a stack of files surrounding me, is my only source of sanity.

<hugs>


----------



## Punkin1024

thirtiesgirl,

Young people, for the most part, still haven't developed their brains far enough to think of others - they think of themselves only. Be kind to yourself and consider the source of the "complaint". I know these are only words, but I hope you take solice from all the understanding words that have been expressed to you. I hope that someday, one of those students returns to express their gratitude for all your help. (((((((Hugs)))))))


----------



## CarlaSixx

I'm so glad I wasn't one of those students who complained. Yeah, I'd get ticked off when I'd hear a class I chose was cancelled or too full, but we'd find a way around it which I always showed thanks for. We had only 2 people doing that stuff in a school of almost 1500 students so I'm sure there were many times where it was killing them to do the work.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Punkin1024 said:


> thirtiesgirl,
> 
> Young people, for the most part, still haven't developed their brains far enough to think of others - they think of themselves only. Be kind to yourself and consider the source of the "complaint". I know these are only words, but I hope you take solice from all the understanding words that have been expressed to you. I hope that someday, one of those students returns to express their gratitude for all your help. (((((((Hugs)))))))



Thanks, and I know. I've worked in education for 10 years, so I know how thoughtless kids can be. They don't intend to be hurtful, but they just don't think. The difference is, high school students are so much more open about their self-centeredness than when I was that age. I was completely self-centered in high school, like most other kids, but I never would have written the kind of note I got from the girl today, or bad-mouthed my counselor by saying he "doesn't know what he's doing." Recent data shows that kids in the U.S. are more confident than kids in any other nation, which is great. I'm glad our kids have such a healthy sense of self confidence. But it sometimes leads them to behave in ways that are counterproductive. And that confidence is not going to serve them well if they don't have the reading and critical thinking skills to go along with it.

...Sorry. I know I'm preaching to the choir, but my kids really got to me today. I spent half my morning working on creating schedules for two twin boys, both of whom attended the high school where I work for about half a year in 2008, and then one twin did something that got him sent to jail, and the parents, in an attempt to keep his brother from going in the same direction, put him in a County school where there's a better support system (more personal counseling, more individual attention) for students. The only problem is, the County schools (including the jail school) do credits very differently than city public schools. At a County school, a kid can get partial credit for a class even if he or she doesn't finish it. For example, if they did some of the work in a class, they'll get 2 or 3 credits for it, rather than the usual 5 that a city school gives a kid for passing a class. We don't give partial credits for partial work done. ...So I was looking at two very odd transcripts for half the morning, trying to figure out what 9th and 10th grade classes these two boys had completed, so I could put them in the right classes now. And the kicker is, I highly doubt either of these boys will last the year at my school. I can already tell they have a pretty bad attitude about school and will most likely end up getting kicked out. My school administration has a pretty low tolerance policy when it comes to certain behaviors. So spending all morning trying to evaluate their transcripts and get them in the right classes was probably a waste of my time, but that's what I do. I give a lot to all my students and try to make sure they're starting off on the right foot... only to hear later in the day that I apparently "don't know what I'm doing."


----------



## CarlaSixx

I'm surprised I didn't get expelled in high school for my behaviour. Friends of mine had been expelled for behaviour a lot less serious than mine. Then again... they'd also say racist comments when I wasn't around and carried weed on them, so they were more of a target than me, the student who was quiet in class in the first seat who always did projects alone, but then out of class would be Hell to deal with, lol. I guess it was because of the seemingly split personalities that teachers didn't get rid of me. I was far from disruptive in class and even though I was failing certain classes (history, psychology, and philosophy) I sat through the class, participated in all I could, did every test. My teacher had said she was proud of me for sticking through it even though I knew I was failing massively. I know I took a lot out of the class, because I was able to go over the notes for 2 years and retook History and Philosophy and passed the classes with a 92% and a 78% respectively. 

At first, I failed History with a 37% and Philosophy with a 32%. Of course, History was a needed credit to get a diploma, and Philosophy was only because Universities around here demand it as a pre-req and I wanted to keep all options open in school. I still have to see about my psych class. 

Oh... and I failed French Literature, too. Well... My grade was supposed to be 48% but the teacher brought it up to 50% as a "last chance" thing but I ended up dropping out a little more that halfway through the first semester of grade 12 and never finished that course. When I went back, I took General French instead and had the second highest mark in the class.
(I went to a French catholic school so a French course in every grade was mandatory)

There's a lot of times where teachers worked to help me and I knew it was a tough decision for them to make. I did my best to get my shit together to make their effort worth it every time, but sometimes I just couldn't do it. I know that's a lot more than other students would do. I've seen it.

The one year (my grade 11) when all my optional choice classes were cancelled, I was heartbroken and had to settle. I know my counselor was just trying to help but I did feel like school had failed me at that point. Drama class was cancelled, welding was cancelled, motor mechanics was cancelled, writing was cancelled, etc. I went through 6 optional courses before I gave up and settled on things I didn't want. I was a grade 11 student and didn't want to go do grade 9 art nor grade 9 music, especially knowing I would fail the course. So I settled. 

It was pretty much the only time I was angry at the counselor, but at the same time, I knew it wasn't her fault. Things weren't in the school budget because they put too much into sports. So everything I wanted to get into was removed. Which didn't help my behaviour one bit in that year.

I know I'm not everyone, but just know there's some students out there who really do value the work of the school staff. They my be quiet, but they'll be going places because of you. And even if they aren't, they're at least doing their best to make your efforts worth it for you.


----------



## Jes

Ladies, I've been really impressed at how you've all read 30sgirl's confessions and been so supportive. I'm sure she must be feeling the love right now.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Yes, thanks. It was good to be able to vent and I did feel a little better after doing so. I had major insomnia last night, though, and was up at 2 a.m., organizing my closet, when my alarm was set to go off in another 3 hours to wake me up for work. I finally took a sleeping pill and knocked out for a few hours, but I was dog tired today at work. I have some comp time coming to me, though, so I'm taking tomorrow off to rest and relax. I desperately need it.

Carla, I think you figured it out. To be fairly successful at most any high school, you pretty much just need to not give the adults any problems. The second you stir things up and cause the adults more work by choosing obviously poor behavior, you're pretty much going to be on their shit list and they'll do everything in their power to eventually get rid of you. It's sad, but true. With over 500 kids on my case load, I'm sure there are many of them who just slip through the cracks. They get by with fairly decent or average grades, don't cause a lot of problems...and also don't get the attention they may need to help them find some direction, or give them a kind word on a day when they're feeling down. I was that kid in high school, too, and I wish I'd had a little more adult guidance back then.


----------



## whome

IC that I am not sure if I am a bbw or ssbbw

IC that the cruelty in life sometimes makes me cry

IC that the beauty in life often makes me cry
:blush:


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I tried to cover my tattoos for shits and giggles.

What a horrible experiment. I wasted 3 baby wipes trying to get the crap off my skin afterwards, and it didn't even look all that good when they were covered. Photoshop does wonders, though.

Then I painted the remaining makeup onto my face. Only was able to do half.
Then I took pictures.

HOLY CRAP!

That's all I gotta say.

When boredom hits me... boy... does it ever hit me.


----------



## Punkin1024

IC I'm in my happy place. Yup OCTOBER is here and I'm a happy Punkin! :happy:


----------



## Tania

IC I'm Em-effing sick of sewing. I'm also really upset that after two days of fitting a muslin mockup and an interlining for a pair of regency stays, I've come to the conclusion that the pattern I chose won't be able to support my breasts properly. Even at the largest gusset lengths/widths, it's just not enough. I'm portraying Princess Bagration at a Congress of Vienna-themed ball, and she was a total whore ("Naked Angel," "White Pussycat"), so it's appropriate to go stayless, but the underpinning purist in me is NOT ok with that.  ARGH.


----------



## thatgirl08

I confess that I'm desperately unhappy and have no where to go from here.


----------



## Tau

thatgirl08 said:


> I confess that I'm desperately unhappy and have no where to go from here.



Hey Chica, I've been there - believe me I've been there. I'm still crawling out of that hole, still working on finding my joy again and I wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you, sending you an utter deluge of love and it will get better - it just takes an agonising amount of time *smishes*


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

thatgirl08 said:


> I confess that I'm desperately unhappy and have no where to go from here.



(((hugs))) I'm so sorry; I so understand, and it's no fun.


-----------

IC I've had a migraine for over 36 hours now, with zero letup, and I'm about to blow my brain's out.


----------



## Jes

Punkin1024 said:


> IC I'm in my happy place. Yup OCTOBER is here and I'm a happy Punkin! :happy:



Agreed! My favorite month.


----------



## Tau

I've noticed that when I say things here, the things that hurt and torment me, they start to get better so I'm sharing this here so the feeling can go away already. 

I'm obsessed. I obsess rarely - I'm generally an easy going girl - but when I do obsess it just gets ugly. Last week a beautiful young man started working with me on a project. He's based in the US but is in SA for 6 months while we get it off the ground. He is everything I ever wanted. EVERYTHING!!!!! He's smart and thoughtful, creative, so talented, funny. He's all long, lean lines of muscle and smiling eyes. I want him so very, very badly. I just ache for him with every particle of my stupid fat girl body  When he's around its like I'm smothered in hot, lust filled water, all sticky ooze of just unreasoning want. I can't think around him, he probably thinks I'm a complete bimbo, and I know I don't stand a chance with him. _I KNOW this_ - painfully, utterly, hopelessly do I know this and yet my body and my heart are refusing to let go of this..._thing_. I can't even call it a crush cos I've done things in the short time I've known him that I am not proud of...creepy things *blushes* So this weekend I met another guy - a really nice guy, goodlooking too - and I, ofcourse, feel nothing :doh:. I'm going out with him Wednesday night but I don't want to. I want to stay home with my fevered imaginings of Mr Untouchable. I want to live in the fantasy of his lips and skin on mine, of his words in my ear and his rough, delicious laugh in my ears. I'm a fucking mess right now. This unrequited bullshit is for the birds. Dear God please can you make me fall for people I can have and not long in agonizing futility for the ones that will never want me back *cries*


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tau said:


> I've noticed that when I say things here, the things that hurt and torment me, they start to get better so I'm sharing this here so the feeling can go away already.
> 
> I'm obsessed. I obsess rarely - I'm generally an easy going girl - but when I do obsess it just gets ugly. Last week a beautiful young man started working with me on a project. He's based in the US but is in SA for 6 months while we get it off the ground. He is everything I ever wanted. EVERYTHING!!!!! He's smart and thoughtful, creative, so talented, funny. He's all long, lean lines of muscle and smiling eyes. I want him so very, very badly. I just ache for him with every particle of my stupid fat girl body  When he's around its like I'm smothered in hot, lust filled water, all sticky ooze of just unreasoning want. I can't think around him, he probably thinks I'm a complete bimbo, and I know I don't stand a chance with him. _I KNOW this_ - painfully, utterly, hopelessly do I know this and yet my body and my heart are refusing to let go of this..._thing_. I can't even call it a crush cos I've done things in the short time I've known him that I am not proud of...creepy things *blushes* So this weekend I met another guy - a really nice guy, goodlooking too - and I, ofcourse, feel nothing :doh:. I'm going out with him Wednesday night but I don't want to. I want to stay home with my fevered imaginings of Mr Untouchable. I want to live in the fantasy of his lips and skin on mine, of his words in my ear and his rough, delicious laugh in my ears. I'm a fucking mess right now. This unrequited bullshit is for the birds. Dear God please can you make me fall for people I can have and not long in agonizing futility for the ones that will never want me back *cries*



Oh, sweetheart.  (((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))

How do you know for 100% certain that he has no interest in you? Has he said this outright? You know....I think the best bet is to ask him out, that way you know for certain. Otherwise, it'll probably take longer to get him out of your system. 

((((((Tau))))))


----------



## Jes

MizzSnakeBite said:


> How do you know for 100% certain that he has no interest in you? Has he said this outright? You know....I think the best bet is to ask him out, that way you know for certain. Otherwise, it'll probably take longer to get him out of your system.
> 
> ((((((Tau))))))



And, how do you know that you would have any interest in him after getting to know the real him, not the fantasy him? Know what I mean? I think that infatuation is very powerful (I've been sure dozens of times that someone was perfect for me or vice versa) as is sexual chemistry. I know what it's like to stand in the same airspace as a certain man and be completely and totally blown away by physical chemistry.

But just remember this: he farts in his sleep. Just like the rest of us. Or maybe he has mommy issues. Or he hates your favorite hobbies. 

Don't shut yourself up in the tower of imagination when you could be out experiencing real life. Your post makes it sound like you know that's what you're trying to do, and you don't like it, so I hope you find away around it! Good luck.


----------



## Jes

I had the choice of 4, FOUR, college football games on network TV on Saturday and I couldn't watch any of them because ... I had too much homework. Just like when I was in college 20 years ago, and couldn't actually go to the Big 10 football game because ... I had too much homework. SUCKS.


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I decided I needed to get in on the It Gets Better movement that's going around the net lately because of the suicide crisis. And I hope my message does get spread around. I probably should have made a video instead of just a written thing, but I couldn't. And I really hope no one gets offended that someone like me wrote something about it.


----------



## CastingPearls

thatgirl08 said:


> I confess that I'm desperately unhappy and have no where to go from here.


I'm sorry. I get it. I've been there. (((hugs)))


----------



## luscious_lulu

(((hugs))) Tau, you may be surprised. Ask him out. 

You are a fabulous, gorgeous woman. He'd be crazy to say no. Plus, even if he says no at least you know. You won't ever have that what if hanging over you.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tau said:


> I've noticed that when I say things here, the things that hurt and torment me, they start to get better so I'm sharing this here so the feeling can go away already.
> 
> I'm obsessed. I obsess rarely - I'm generally an easy going girl - but when I do obsess it just gets ugly. Last week a beautiful young man started working with me on a project. He's based in the US but is in SA for 6 months while we get it off the ground. He is everything I ever wanted. EVERYTHING!!!!! He's smart and thoughtful, creative, so talented, funny. He's all long, lean lines of muscle and smiling eyes. I want him so very, very badly. I just ache for him with every particle of my stupid fat girl body  When he's around its like I'm smothered in hot, lust filled water, all sticky ooze of just unreasoning want. I can't think around him, he probably thinks I'm a complete bimbo, and I know I don't stand a chance with him. _I KNOW this_ - painfully, utterly, hopelessly do I know this and yet my body and my heart are refusing to let go of this..._thing_. I can't even call it a crush cos I've done things in the short time I've known him that I am not proud of...creepy things *blushes* So this weekend I met another guy - a really nice guy, goodlooking too - and I, ofcourse, feel nothing :doh:. I'm going out with him Wednesday night but I don't want to. I want to stay home with my fevered imaginings of Mr Untouchable. I want to live in the fantasy of his lips and skin on mine, of his words in my ear and his rough, delicious laugh in my ears. I'm a fucking mess right now. This unrequited bullshit is for the birds. Dear God please can you make me fall for people I can have and not long in agonizing futility for the ones that will never want me back *cries*





MizzSnakeBite said:


> Oh, sweetheart.  (((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))
> 
> How do you know for 100% certain that he has no interest in you? Has he said this outright? You know....I think the best bet is to ask him out, that way you know for certain. Otherwise, it'll probably take longer to get him out of your system.
> 
> ((((((Tau))))))



Also, if you're just too nervous to have a one on one thing with him, get a bunch of friends to go to dinner somewhere, and ask him if he'd like to come along so he can meet people since he's new.


----------



## lozonloz

IC that if my stepmother tries to keep me from seeing my dying father one more time I'm going to knife her in the face until I feel better about life.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Tau said:


> I've noticed that when I say things here, the things that hurt and torment me, they start to get better so I'm sharing this here so the feeling can go away already.
> 
> I'm obsessed. I obsess rarely - I'm generally an easy going girl - but when I do obsess it just gets ugly. Last week a beautiful young man started working with me on a project. He's based in the US but is in SA for 6 months while we get it off the ground. He is everything I ever wanted. EVERYTHING!!!!! He's smart and thoughtful, creative, so talented, funny. He's all long, lean lines of muscle and smiling eyes. I want him so very, very badly. I just ache for him with every particle of my stupid fat girl body  When he's around its like I'm smothered in hot, lust filled water, all sticky ooze of just unreasoning want. I can't think around him, he probably thinks I'm a complete bimbo, and I know I don't stand a chance with him. _I KNOW this_ - painfully, utterly, hopelessly do I know this and yet my body and my heart are refusing to let go of this..._thing_. I can't even call it a crush cos I've done things in the short time I've known him that I am not proud of...creepy things *blushes* So this weekend I met another guy - a really nice guy, goodlooking too - and I, ofcourse, feel nothing :doh:. I'm going out with him Wednesday night but I don't want to. I want to stay home with my fevered imaginings of Mr Untouchable. I want to live in the fantasy of his lips and skin on mine, of his words in my ear and his rough, delicious laugh in my ears. I'm a fucking mess right now. This unrequited bullshit is for the birds. Dear God please can you make me fall for people I can have and not long in agonizing futility for the ones that will never want me back *cries*



Big hugs, Tau. I've so been there. Shortly after I moved to LA and ended a 5 year relationship, the law office where I was working hired the damn cutest male file clerk. Physically, he looked like Brendan Frasier with Johnny Depp's facial structure and looks: tall, broad shouldered, dark and handsome, with a great sense of humor and self-deprecating personality. I lusted after him for the next 2 years. Seriously _*lusted*_. He showed up in more of my sexual fantasies than I care to count. It's rare for me to put a face on a sexual fantasy figure, but this guy's face was on all of them for the 2 years we worked together. ...But, sadly, he only ever saw me as a friend. We could joke together, debate religion and philosophy, be flirtatious... but he had no physical interest in me at all. I know because he asked out one of the attorney's daughters, an Angelina Jolie body double, who was interning there for the summer. I spent 2 years pining for him, rather than seriously looking for someone else to date. I went on a handful of dates over those 2 years, but my mind was so caught up with my work crush that none of the dates went anywhere past a first or second date, and I may have missed out on some good opportunities. I wish I'd been better able to to see the situation realistically for what it was.

That's not to say the guy you're pining over isn't interested in you. You won't know until you try (provided you're willing to try). But don't let it get in the way of having a good time on a first date with another guy or keep you from giving another guy a chance.


----------



## Punkin1024

Tau said:


> I've noticed that when I say things here, the things that hurt and torment me, they start to get better so I'm sharing this here so the feeling can go away already.
> 
> I'm obsessed. I obsess rarely - I'm generally an easy going girl - but when I do obsess it just gets ugly. Last week a beautiful young man started working with me on a project. He's based in the US but is in SA for 6 months while we get it off the ground. He is everything I ever wanted. EVERYTHING!!!!! He's smart and thoughtful, creative, so talented, funny. He's all long, lean lines of muscle and smiling eyes. I want him so very, very badly. I just ache for him with every particle of my stupid fat girl body  When he's around its like I'm smothered in hot, lust filled water, all sticky ooze of just unreasoning want. I can't think around him, he probably thinks I'm a complete bimbo, and I know I don't stand a chance with him. _I KNOW this_ - painfully, utterly, hopelessly do I know this and yet my body and my heart are refusing to let go of this..._thing_. I can't even call it a crush cos I've done things in the short time I've known him that I am not proud of...creepy things *blushes* So this weekend I met another guy - a really nice guy, goodlooking too - and I, ofcourse, feel nothing :doh:. I'm going out with him Wednesday night but I don't want to. I want to stay home with my fevered imaginings of Mr Untouchable. I want to live in the fantasy of his lips and skin on mine, of his words in my ear and his rough, delicious laugh in my ears. I'm a fucking mess right now. This unrequited bullshit is for the birds. Dear God please can you make me fall for people I can have and not long in agonizing futility for the ones that will never want me back *cries*



I think, as a woman, I'd be lying if I said I've never been crazy about a guy like you are about this one. I think the ladies are right and I believe you have the guts to ask this guy out. Either way, I'm so sorry you are going through this frustration.


----------



## littlefairywren

Tau said:


> I've noticed that when I say things here, the things that hurt and torment me, they start to get better so I'm sharing this here so the feeling can go away already.
> 
> I'm obsessed. I obsess rarely - I'm generally an easy going girl - but when I do obsess it just gets ugly. Last week a beautiful young man started working with me on a project. He's based in the US but is in SA for 6 months while we get it off the ground. He is everything I ever wanted. EVERYTHING!!!!! He's smart and thoughtful, creative, so talented, funny. He's all long, lean lines of muscle and smiling eyes. I want him so very, very badly. I just ache for him with every particle of my stupid fat girl body  When he's around its like I'm smothered in hot, lust filled water, all sticky ooze of just unreasoning want. I can't think around him, he probably thinks I'm a complete bimbo, and I know I don't stand a chance with him. _I KNOW this_ - painfully, utterly, hopelessly do I know this and yet my body and my heart are refusing to let go of this..._thing_. I can't even call it a crush cos I've done things in the short time I've known him that I am not proud of...creepy things *blushes* So this weekend I met another guy - a really nice guy, goodlooking too - and I, ofcourse, feel nothing :doh:. I'm going out with him Wednesday night but I don't want to. I want to stay home with my fevered imaginings of Mr Untouchable. I want to live in the fantasy of his lips and skin on mine, of his words in my ear and his rough, delicious laugh in my ears. I'm a fucking mess right now. This unrequited bullshit is for the birds. Dear God please can you make me fall for people I can have and not long in agonizing futility for the ones that will never want me back *cries*



Unrequited love is so sucky!! But so is always wondering "what if" and never knowing the answer. The girls have come up with some great advice, and I agree. Try your luck with him, and even if it does not go the way you wish, I know you will feel better for giving it a shot. 

That which does not kill us, makes us stronger. (((((Tau)))))


----------



## LovelyLiz

thatgirl08 said:


> I confess that I'm desperately unhappy and have no where to go from here.



I'm so sorry you're struggling right now. It's amazing, tho, how so quickly something can happen in life to bring a glimmer (or even a big ray) of hope. May that happen for you soon.



Tau said:


> I've noticed that when I say things here, the things that hurt and torment me, they start to get better so I'm sharing this here so the feeling can go away already.
> snipped



Tau    Sorry for this situation; I've been there. And I also agree with the other girls who said you may not actually like him once you get to know him, and that asking him out and actually spending time with him might help it move from the realm of fantasy/obsession to reality. In the meantime, big hugs for you!!!!!



lozonloz said:


> IC that if my stepmother tries to keep me from seeing my dying father one more time I'm going to knife her in the face until I feel better about life.



I'm so sorry to hear about your father. Then with your step-mother...it's a very heavy situation made even more complicated. I hope you and your father are able to have some good moments together in these days. Hugs to you lozonloz.


----------



## calauria

I C school has started for me and I have a crazy schedule. Miss you all. Hope all is well with you!!!


----------



## CarlaSixx

Taking on this wig making project is probably way more than I can handle  I'm not sure I can even pull this off. But then again... the quality of the wig is HORRID so that might actually have something to do with how it's progressing at the moment.


----------



## jewels_mystery

lozonloz said:


> IC that if my stepmother tries to keep me from seeing my dying father one more time I'm going to knife her in the face until I feel better about life.



I am so sorry she is being such a crab during this painful time. {{hugs}}


----------



## Tau

Ladies thank you so much for all the responses and the advice. The reason this boy is off limits is because he's with somebody else - this amazing, bubbly creature who I actually really like - also she's really tiny and an ex-gymnast so I'm almost definite his like does not extend to short and round. And, as I said when I wrote the first post, just sharing with you guys, knowing you get it and have been there and are just behind me eased the ache so much *squishes you all!!!!*


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Tau said:


> Ladies thank you so much for all the responses and the advice. The reason this boy is off limits is because he's with somebody else - this amazing, bubbly creature who I actually really like - also she's really tiny and an ex-gymnast so I'm almost definite his like does not extend to short and round. And, as I said when I wrote the first post, just sharing with you guys, knowing you get it and have been there and are just behind me eased the ache so much *squishes you all!!!!*



Ah.

(((hugs))) back, girlie.


----------



## luscious_lulu

(((hugs))) tau, that truely bites.


----------



## CastingPearls

Tau said:


> Ladies thank you so much for all the responses and the advice. The reason this boy is off limits is because he's with somebody else - this amazing, bubbly creature who I actually really like - also she's really tiny and an ex-gymnast so I'm almost definite his like does not extend to short and round. And, as I said when I wrote the first post, just sharing with you guys, knowing you get it and have been there and are just behind me eased the ache so much *squishes you all!!!!*


*squishes* <I do get it>


----------



## CarlaSixx

I think it was here that I posted about my dog having fleas and needing a cheap remedy...
So I just wanted to say thanks to those that suggested Original Dawn dishsoap! I tried it and it did the trick within 2 washes  Thanks!

But I gotta say... that scrubbing totally killed my back, lol.


----------



## calauria

Tau said:


> I've noticed that when I say things here, the things that hurt and torment me, they start to get better so I'm sharing this here so the feeling can go away already.
> 
> I'm obsessed. I obsess rarely - I'm generally an easy going girl - but when I do obsess it just gets ugly. Last week a beautiful young man started working with me on a project. He's based in the US but is in SA for 6 months while we get it off the ground. He is everything I ever wanted. EVERYTHING!!!!! He's smart and thoughtful, creative, so talented, funny. He's all long, lean lines of muscle and smiling eyes. I want him so very, very badly. I just ache for him with every particle of my stupid fat girl body  When he's around its like I'm smothered in hot, lust filled water, all sticky ooze of just unreasoning want. I can't think around him, he probably thinks I'm a complete bimbo, and I know I don't stand a chance with him. _I KNOW this_ - painfully, utterly, hopelessly do I know this and yet my body and my heart are refusing to let go of this..._thing_. I can't even call it a crush cos I've done things in the short time I've known him that I am not proud of...creepy things *blushes* So this weekend I met another guy - a really nice guy, goodlooking too - and I, ofcourse, feel nothing :doh:. I'm going out with him Wednesday night but I don't want to. I want to stay home with my fevered imaginings of Mr Untouchable. I want to live in the fantasy of his lips and skin on mine, of his words in my ear and his rough, delicious laugh in my ears. I'm a fucking mess right now. This unrequited bullshit is for the birds. Dear God please can you make me fall for people I can have and not long in agonizing futility for the ones that will never want me back *cries*



Girlina, the story of my life!!! I know exactly how you feel!! *hugs*


----------



## hal84

thatgirl08 said:


> I confess that I'm desperately unhappy and have no where to go from here.



Hope all is well and you can smile again!


----------



## Tania

I confess that I went through old pictures of myself tonight, and I was actually pretty pleased with how I looked! That's kind of a first.  

View attachment 101-0177_IMG copy.JPG


----------



## LovelyLiz

Tania said:


> I confess that I went through old pictures of myself tonight, and I was actually pretty pleased with how I looked! That's kind of a first.



That's a really lovely pic! Glad you can see it too.


----------



## Tania

Thanks, doll. :*


----------



## Jes

My boyfriend is a cuckoo bird.


----------



## Tau

Jes said:


> My boyfriend is a cuckoo bird.



 Elaborate woman!!


----------



## Tau

Tania said:


> I confess that I went through old pictures of myself tonight, and I was actually pretty pleased with how I looked! That's kind of a first.



I agree - seriously adorable pic right there


----------



## LovelyLiz

Jes said:


> My boyfriend is a cuckoo bird.



I'm not sure how I feel about inter-species relationships...


----------



## whome

I/C that I have set myself up for disappointment yet again. Met a fellow online who I thought had lots of potential. He wanted to go on a date and I said sure as long as it was not something naughty. He did not write back as quick as he had in the past so I flat out asked him if he was looking to date or just to have sex. Surprise surprise he was willing to date me, take a walk on the beach, head to star bucks for a coffee and then head home for sex - on the first date. 

So I am not planning on having sex with him, should I meet him for the date part and then leave from starbucks or is that just going to be disaster???


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mcbeth said:


> I'm not sure how I feel about inter-species relationships...



Scrabble and I have a fabulous relationship. Best and longest one!

View attachment Scrabble 2 3-17-07.jpg​







P.S. Whome.....I get a bad feeling from that. You told him outright you aren't having sex with him then, and he didn't respect that.


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Scrabble and I have a fabulous relationship. Best and longest one!
> 
> View attachment 85557​



There's my boy!!! Look at him....sooo cute :wubu:


----------



## LovelyLiz

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Scrabble and I have a fabulous relationship. Best and longest one!
> 
> View attachment 85557​



LOL...I knew someone was going to post something like this.  I thought of it just now when I was out for a walk. Let's say, inter-species _romantic_ relationships. You and Scrabble keep it pretty platonic, right?


----------



## Punkin1024

Yup, Scrabble is a cutie!


----------



## LovelyLiz

whome said:


> I/C that I have set myself up for disappointment yet again. Met a fellow online who I thought had lots of potential. He wanted to go on a date and I said sure as long as it was not something naughty. He did not write back as quick as he had in the past so I flat out asked him if he was looking to date or just to have sex. Surprise surprise he was willing to date me, take a walk on the beach, head to star bucks for a coffee and then head home for sex - on the first date.
> 
> So I am not planning on having sex with him, should I meet him for the date part and then leave from starbucks or is that just going to be disaster???



If you're looking for a real relationship, my advice is don't bother with this guy.


----------



## mossystate

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Scrabble and I have a fabulous relationship. Best and longest one!
> 
> View attachment 85557​



Be honest. Is he the only guy that crapped on newspaper?


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> There's my boy!!! Look at him....sooo cute :wubu:



As The Baby says, "I agree!"



mcbeth said:


> LOL...I knew someone was going to post something like this.  I thought of it just now when I was out for a walk. Let's say, inter-species _romantic_ relationships. You and Scrabble keep it pretty platonic, right?



Welllllll........I'll tell you a secret, when breeding season hits, parrots often want a romantic relationship with their people. I decline his advances. lol



Punkin1024 said:


> Yup, Scrabble is a cutie!



Scrabbie "tank ewes"


----------



## mossystate

whome said:


> I/C that I have set myself up for disappointment yet again. Met a fellow online who I thought had lots of potential. He wanted to go on a date and I said sure as long as it was not something naughty. He did not write back as quick as he had in the past so I flat out asked him if he was looking to date or just to have sex. Surprise surprise he was willing to date me, take a walk on the beach, head to star bucks for a coffee and then head home for sex - on the first date.
> 
> So I am not planning on having sex with him, should I meet him for the date part and then leave from starbucks or is that just going to be disaster???



Sounds like you both want to convince the other. In other words, it is already a disaster-ish situation.


----------



## LovelyLiz

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Welllllll........I'll tell you a secret, when breeding season hits, parrots often want a romantic relationship with their people. I decline his advances. lol



Even after a few glasses of wine?  JK. Lovely bird.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mossystate said:


> Be honest. Is he the only guy that crapped on newspaper?



Welllllllllllll.......since you're requesting I'm honest, there was the one dude that wanted to crap on me.  I declined....vehemently. lol


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

mcbeth said:


> Even after a few glasses of wine?  JK. Lovely bird.



Thanks. 

TBH, he's more than lovely


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I let my family get to me today. My brother and mother ganged up on me and called me good for nothing and a wasting loser. I just broke down and avoided my mother for 4 hours because of it. I'd avoid her longer but she always demands things from me late at night.

I wish I could prove them wrong but I've got nothing.


----------



## calauria

CarlaSixx said:


> IC I let my family get to me today. My brother and mother ganged up on me and called me good for nothing and a wasting loser. I just broke down and avoided my mother for 4 hours because of it. I'd avoid her longer but she always demands things from me late at night.
> 
> I wish I could prove them wrong but I've got nothing.



I think you really need to get away from your family......


----------



## CarlaSixx

calauria said:


> I think you really need to get away from your family......



I truly do. I have no ressources, though. I've looked into doing it and look at websites daily for jobs and housing in other cities... There's nothing for me


----------



## thirtiesgirl

whome said:


> I/C that I have set myself up for disappointment yet again. Met a fellow online who I thought had lots of potential. He wanted to go on a date and I said sure as long as it was not something naughty. He did not write back as quick as he had in the past so I flat out asked him if he was looking to date or just to have sex. Surprise surprise he was willing to date me, take a walk on the beach, head to star bucks for a coffee and then head home for sex - on the first date.
> 
> So I am not planning on having sex with him, should I meet him for the date part and then leave from starbucks or is that just going to be disaster???



He wants to have sex with you for the price of a cup of coffee. Is this what you want? If not, don't date him.


----------



## Mishty

I feel like such a Republican right now. :blink:
I'm disgusted.


----------



## CastingPearls

Mishty said:


> I feel like such a Republican right now. :blink:
> I'm disgusted.


Your avatar is making me LMAO.

IC I'm wondering when in all this worry and issues there will be time for me in his life. <impatient but not going anywhere>


----------



## Jes

Tau said:


> Elaborate woman!!



Just cuckoo! But not an actual bird like MissSnake's BF.


----------



## mossystate

I just placed an order for 75 pairs of ear plugs.


----------



## AuntHen

whome said:


> I/C that I have set myself up for disappointment yet again. Met a fellow online who I thought had lots of potential. He wanted to go on a date and I said sure as long as it was not something naughty. He did not write back as quick as he had in the past so I flat out asked him if he was looking to date or just to have sex. Surprise surprise he was willing to date me, take a walk on the beach, head to star bucks for a coffee and then head home for sex - on the first date.
> 
> So I am not planning on having sex with him, should I meet him for the date part and then leave from starbucks or is that just going to be disaster???




he is honestly admitting that he would and wants to have sex on the 1st date (with some other things thrown in, probably to wine and dine you-warm you up)... you said "not something naughty", so.... there's your answer!


----------



## luscious_lulu

mossystate said:


> I just placed an order for 75 pairs of ear plugs.



Ummmmm why?


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

luscious_lulu said:


> Ummmmm why?



Her cat snores loudly.


----------



## mossystate

luscious_lulu said:


> Ummmmm why?



Doesn't everybody buy dozens of ear plugs? OK...all the stores I look in have discontinued my favorite brand, so I had to find them online...and they were a good deal. I am all excited to get them. Don't judge me. 



MizzSnakeBite said:


> Her cat snores loudly.



Mr. Bucky is NEVER allowed in my bedroom at night...or during the day for that matter. He is on the couch behind me...lightly snoring. lol I have been told I snore...loudly. I simply will not believe it!!!


----------



## whome

mossystate said:


> Sounds like you both want to convince the other. In other words, it is already a disaster-ish situation.




You are so right. We spent days trying to convince the other. Me dating him fwb. No good for me. Finally decided to be done with it and blocked him. I am so waiting for intimacy I was willing to take my chances with an inappropriate jerk. But what a cutie was he. Good body. Great eyes. Accent. Blarg. 

Thanks to the few ladies on here that responded


----------



## Sweet Tooth

IC I miss my kitty something fierce. It's hard to sleep at night without her little noises and movements throughout the house. Yet I wasn't sleeping well before I had to put her to sleep, either, because I'd worry about her too much. I dreaded having to leave her for work every day, just hating to leave her all alone... so a part of me is overwhelmingly relieved about not seeing her decline either. And I'm so grateful that there are still vets who will make house calls so she could go peacefully at home with me there and on her favorite pillows.

<sigh>


----------



## littlefairywren

Sweet Tooth said:


> IC I miss my kitty something fierce. It's hard to sleep at night without her little noises and movements throughout the house. Yet I wasn't sleeping well before I had to put her to sleep, either, because I'd worry about her too much. I dreaded having to leave her for work every day, just hating to leave her all alone... so a part of me is overwhelmingly relieved about not seeing her decline either. And I'm so grateful that there are still vets who will make house calls so she could go peacefully at home with me there and on her favorite pillows.
> 
> <sigh>



I am so sorry about your wee kitty, ST. Soft hugs.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Sweet Tooth said:


> IC I miss my kitty something fierce. It's hard to sleep at night without her little noises and movements throughout the house. Yet I wasn't sleeping well before I had to put her to sleep, either, because I'd worry about her too much. I dreaded having to leave her for work every day, just hating to leave her all alone... so a part of me is overwhelmingly relieved about not seeing her decline either. And I'm so grateful that there are still vets who will make house calls so she could go peacefully at home with me there and on her favorite pillows.
> 
> <sigh>



(((hugs)))


----------



## jewels_mystery

Sweet Tooth said:


> IC I miss my kitty something fierce. It's hard to sleep at night without her little noises and movements throughout the house. Yet I wasn't sleeping well before I had to put her to sleep, either, because I'd worry about her too much. I dreaded having to leave her for work every day, just hating to leave her all alone... so a part of me is overwhelmingly relieved about not seeing her decline either. And I'm so grateful that there are still vets who will make house calls so she could go peacefully at home with me there and on her favorite pillows.
> 
> <sigh>



My heart goes out to you. I know how it feels to loose a pet. {{hugs}}


----------



## jewels_mystery

whome said:


> You are so right. We spent days trying to convince the other. Me dating him fwb. No good for me. Finally decided to be done with it and blocked him. I am so waiting for intimacy I was willing to take my chances with an inappropriate jerk. But what a cutie was he. Good body. Great eyes. Accent. Blarg.
> 
> Thanks to the few ladies on here that responded



You deserve better. Thankfully he was upfront and you are not going to waste any more time on him.


----------



## jdsumm

Sweet Tooth said:


> IC I miss my kitty something fierce. It's hard to sleep at night without her little noises and movements throughout the house. Yet I wasn't sleeping well before I had to put her to sleep, either, because I'd worry about her too much. I dreaded having to leave her for work every day, just hating to leave her all alone... so a part of me is overwhelmingly relieved about not seeing her decline either. And I'm so grateful that there are still vets who will make house calls so she could go peacefully at home with me there and on her favorite pillows.
> 
> <sigh>



(((HUGS)))


----------



## Tania

Oh, kitty.  I'm so sorry. 

I know I'll be an absolute wreck when Francine goes. She's pretty much my everything.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Hugs, Sweet. My kitties are my babies and I don't know how I could be without one. Deepest sympathies.

IC I hate my annoying neighbors who moved out 3 weeks ago almost as much as if they were still here. They left their basketball hoop behind - the kind that comes on a stand with a base - and the thing is in everybody's way in our carport area. It always has been, but when the neighbors lived here, everyone tolerated it. Now that they're gone and didn't take the b-ball hoop with them, or have it hauled away, I decided to call 1-800-Got-Junk to get the thing gone. Come to find out, Got Junk charges a $119 minimum to haul any item, no matter how big or small. Since it's the neighbors' b-ball hoop and not mine, I was willing to pay, at most, $10-$15, but certainly not $119. So I had to send the 1-800-Got-Junk guys away. F-ing rude neighbors, leaving their shit behind.


----------



## CastingPearls

Sweet Tooth said:


> IC I miss my kitty something fierce. It's hard to sleep at night without her little noises and movements throughout the house. Yet I wasn't sleeping well before I had to put her to sleep, either, because I'd worry about her too much. I dreaded having to leave her for work every day, just hating to leave her all alone... so a part of me is overwhelmingly relieved about not seeing her decline either. And I'm so grateful that there are still vets who will make house calls so she could go peacefully at home with me there and on her favorite pillows.
> 
> <sigh>


So sorry about your Kitty. Don't know what I'd do without my girl, Wonton.


----------



## Punkin1024

Sweet Tooth said:


> IC I miss my kitty something fierce. It's hard to sleep at night without her little noises and movements throughout the house. Yet I wasn't sleeping well before I had to put her to sleep, either, because I'd worry about her too much. I dreaded having to leave her for work every day, just hating to leave her all alone... so a part of me is overwhelmingly relieved about not seeing her decline either. And I'm so grateful that there are still vets who will make house calls so she could go peacefully at home with me there and on her favorite pillows.
> 
> <sigh>



Aw, Sweetie, I'm so sorry for your loss.  It will be difficult for a while because you miss her so, but, with time, you'll be able to sleep well again. We've had to say goodbye to so many of our dear kitties over the years and it never gets any easier. I am thankful for the ones still here, they give us such comfort.


----------



## whome

I confess that I keep hoping I will find someone! Just put another ad on craigslist with my photo hope it does not get into perv hands!


----------



## littlefairywren

whome said:


> I confess that I keep hoping I will find someone! Just put another ad on craigslist with my photo hope it does not get into perv hands!



Good luck, whome!


----------



## luscious_lulu

mossystate said:


> Doesn't everybody buy dozens of ear plugs? OK...all the stores I look in have discontinued my favorite brand, so I had to find them online...and they were a good deal. I am all excited to get them. Don't judge me.



Hey, no judgement here. Substitue shoes for earplugs and I'd be all over it!


----------



## luscious_lulu

Sweet Tooth said:


> IC I miss my kitty something fierce. It's hard to sleep at night without her little noises and movements throughout the house. Yet I wasn't sleeping well before I had to put her to sleep, either, because I'd worry about her too much. I dreaded having to leave her for work every day, just hating to leave her all alone... so a part of me is overwhelmingly relieved about not seeing her decline either. And I'm so grateful that there are still vets who will make house calls so she could go peacefully at home with me there and on her favorite pillows.
> 
> <sigh>



(((hugs))) I know how you feel. I had to put my kitty down this year. You absolutely did the right thing.


----------



## Sweet Tooth

Thank you to all who offered support and kind words either here in the thread or privately. [And thanks to my bash peeps who cried with me when it was even fresher than it is today.]

I happen to think she was one of the most beautiful babies ever, and so it's hard to realize how much weight she'd lost until I look at pics which I've done some this weekend. Still, up until the end, she was beautiful and loving.

Older pics...










Recent pics...


----------



## Dmitra

Sweet Tooth said:


> Thank you to all who offered support and kind words either here in the thread or privately. [And thanks to my bash peeps who cried with me when it was even fresher than it is today.]
> 
> I happen to think she was one of the most beautiful babies ever, and so it's hard to realize how much weight she'd lost until I look at pics which I've done some this weekend. Still, up until the end, she was beautiful and loving.
> 
> Older pics...
> <snip>



She is purely adorable, Sweetie. I think one of the biggest hopes I have in life is that our darling furbabies really *do* go to a better place after their suffering is over. *hugs*


----------



## jewels_mystery

Sweet Tooth said:


> Thank you to all who offered support and kind words either here in the thread or privately. [And thanks to my bash peeps who cried with me when it was even fresher than it is today.]
> 
> I happen to think she was one of the most beautiful babies ever, and so it's hard to realize how much weight she'd lost until I look at pics which I've done some this weekend. Still, up until the end, she was beautiful and loving.
> 
> Older pics...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Recent pics...



She is so cute and a model. Love her poses.


----------



## littlefairywren

Sweet Tooth said:


> Thank you to all who offered support and kind words either here in the thread or privately. [And thanks to my bash peeps who cried with me when it was even fresher than it is today.]
> 
> I happen to think she was one of the most beautiful babies ever, and so it's hard to realize how much weight she'd lost until I look at pics which I've done some this weekend. Still, up until the end, she was beautiful and loving.
> 
> Older pics...



She was a beautiful baby, ST. Thank you for sharing her pics with us


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Sweet Tooth said:


> Thank you to all who offered support and kind words either here in the thread or privately. [And thanks to my bash peeps who cried with me when it was even fresher than it is today.]
> 
> I happen to think she was one of the most beautiful babies ever, and so it's hard to realize how much weight she'd lost until I look at pics which I've done some this weekend. Still, up until the end, she was beautiful and loving.
> 
> Older pics...
> 
> 
> Recent pics...




Oh, she's stunning! That reminds me of when my Bruce suddenly became ill. He dropped so much weight, but I hadn't really noticed it until one day.

(((hugs)))


----------



## fatgirlflyin

IC that I am not sure of what is the appropriate amount of time to wait before going on a date after a breakup...


----------



## Fallenangel2904

Sweet Tooth said:


> Thank you to all who offered support and kind words either here in the thread or privately. [And thanks to my bash peeps who cried with me when it was even fresher than it is today.]
> 
> I happen to think she was one of the most beautiful babies ever, and so it's hard to realize how much weight she'd lost until I look at pics which I've done some this weekend. Still, up until the end, she was beautiful and loving.
> 
> Older pics...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Recent pics...



She was absolutely beautiful sweetie! Beautiful coloring and eyes! 

I know how difficult it is- I had to put my dog- my best friend- down 3 years ago (Will be 3 years in November) and I still miss her something fierce! ::hugs:: You never ever forget or stop loving and missing them, but it does get a bit easier.


----------



## Fallenangel2904

IC I'm not sure where the hell things are going for me romantically and its frustrating and confusing. Truth is I am not satisfied with my current complicated romantic situation, and actually confused as hell by it. And I feel like a bad person for it and for looking and seeing what else is out there...even though I shouldn't because technically there is nothing holding me back. I am so mixed up and confused about what I want, and feel SO shitty about it, I kinda just want to scream at the top of my lungs.

And IC that I don't think this rant made a lick of sense....


----------



## mszwebs

fatgirlflyin said:


> IC that I am not sure of what is the appropriate amount of time to wait before going on a date after a breakup...



You do it when you want to. Simple as that.


----------



## whome

I/c that spending another thanksgiving alone is really hard. I have a lot to be thankful for but that is lost in the sadness of not having anyone to share the day with


----------



## Jes

thirtiesgirl said:


> the 1-800-Got-Junk guys away. F-ing rude neighbors, leaving their shit behind.



Freecycle? Craigslist?


----------



## luscious_lulu

fatgirlflyin said:


> IC that I am not sure of what is the appropriate amount of time to wait before going on a date after a breakup...



Whenever you feel ready.


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that it aggrevates me when I have plans to get a major task done and Mother Nature derails my plans by making her monthly visit! :doh: I was going to finish an on-line Defensive Driving course today, but when my monthly comes calling, I get major headaches and can't think straight. I actually caught myself before spraying Pam in my coffee this morning! (It was right next to my coffee flavor syrup!) :doh: I had a lot of :doh: moments today. At least I finally got my clothes order in to Woman Within, but I'd waited too long and a couple of items I'd wanted were out of stock in my size. Double sigh!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Punkin1024 said:


> IC that it aggrevates me when I have plans to get a major task done and Mother Nature derails my plans by making her monthly visit! :doh: I was going to finish an on-line Defensive Driving course today, but when my monthly comes calling, I get major headaches and can't think straight. I actually caught myself before spraying Pam in my coffee this morning! (It was right next to my coffee flavor syrup!) :doh: I had a lot of :doh: moments today. At least I finally got my clothes order in to Woman Within, but I'd waited too long and a couple of items I'd wanted were out of stock in my size. Double sigh!



(((hugs))), Ella


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC that most of the time I'm pretty happy with my body, and don't experience a lot of shame or negative feelings about it...except when I fly somewhere - often that makes me feel like I am just "too big." And tomorrow I'm flying across the country. Really not looking forward to that.


----------



## Jes

mcbeth said:


> IC that most of the time I'm pretty happy with my body, and don't experience a lot of shame or negative feelings about it...except when I fly somewhere - often that makes me feel like I am just "too big." And tomorrow I'm flying across the country. Really not looking forward to that.


Bummer, baby. You're big, but 'too big' is a judgement, not a reality, at least in terms of the moral or emotional component to this. So try to think of it that way if at all possible. And make whatever concessions you need to make to fit into the space comfortably. Fat people can be too fat for a plane seat, yes. But that doesn't mean you're too fat to fly, or too fat to look sexy flying (haha), or too fat in general. Yes?


----------



## fatgirlflyin

mcbeth said:


> IC that most of the time I'm pretty happy with my body, and don't experience a lot of shame or negative feelings about it...except when I fly somewhere - often that makes me feel like I am just "too big." And tomorrow I'm flying across the country. Really not looking forward to that.



ugh I can relate to that. I spend more time in an airplane than I do in my car some months and I get really tired of hitting people in the face with my hips as I walk by and having the arm rests digging into my thighs. Hope your flight is as comfortable as possible!


----------



## sarie

i confess that i've always wanted to sit the way skinny girls do soemtimes with their knees folded up into their chest. D:


----------



## Dmitra

mcbeth said:


> IC that most of the time I'm pretty happy with my body, and don't experience a lot of shame or negative feelings about it...except when I fly somewhere - often that makes me feel like I am just "too big." And tomorrow I'm flying across the country. Really not looking forward to that.



*hugs* I've come to seriously hate flying so you have my sympathies for that alone! It really is that the airplane seat is TOO SMALL because those cheap bastards want to squish as many people into the space as possible.

Also, if they really wanted to make air travel safer they'd pay to have the seats facing backwards. Sorry, getting a little distracted into a rant and stopping now.

I'll keep you in my thoughts tomorrow.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Jes said:


> Bummer, baby. You're big, but 'too big' is a judgement, not a reality, at least in terms of the moral or emotional component to this. So try to think of it that way if at all possible. And make whatever concessions you need to make to fit into the space comfortably. Fat people can be too fat for a plane seat, yes. But that doesn't mean you're too fat to fly, or too fat to look sexy flying (haha), or too fat in general. Yes?



Yeah, totally. You're absolutely right. Sadly tho, that very rational and logical and true stuff doesn't always win the day in my crazy brain!  But thanks for the absolutely true perspective. And I'll do my best to look sexy flying...lol.



fatgirlflyin said:


> ugh I can relate to that. I spend more time in an airplane than I do in my car some months and I get really tired of hitting people in the face with my hips as I walk by and having the arm rests digging into my thighs. Hope your flight is as comfortable as possible!



Thanks so much! Just hearing from people who relate helps me feel better about things.



Dmitra said:


> *hugs* I've come to seriously hate flying so you have my sympathies for that alone! It really is that the airplane seat is TOO SMALL because those cheap bastards want to squish as many people into the space as possible.
> 
> Also, if they really wanted to make air travel safer they'd pay to have the seats facing backwards. Sorry, getting a little distracted into a rant and stopping now.
> 
> I'll keep you in my thoughts tomorrow.



Thank you, Dmitra!

I guess the upside is, I'm going to a wedding, and I'll have a chance to wear this dress I got from eshakti a while back and haven't had a chance to wear yet. I really like the dress, so I'm looking forward to that - and to seeing friends I haven't seen in a looooooooong time. It makes the trip worth it.


----------



## CarlaSixx

I C I am in full blown clinical depression mode right now and I don't know what I can do about it.


----------



## Jes

mcbeth said:


> I guess the upside is, I'm going to a wedding, and I'll have a chance to wear this dress I got from eshakti a while back and haven't had a chance to wear yet. I really like the dress, so I'm looking forward to that - and to seeing friends I haven't seen in a looooooooong time. It makes the trip worth it.


See? You gonna look sexy flyin', guurrrrrl!

Where you goin'?


----------



## Surlysomething

I have a hard time reading this thread as it's so depressing.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Jes said:


> See? You gonna look sexy flyin', guurrrrrl!
> 
> Where you goin'?



Tennessee and Kentucky.

What up, southeast?


----------



## Fallenangel2904

sarie said:


> i confess that i've always wanted to sit the way skinny girls do soemtimes with their knees folded up into their chest. D:



Haha me too! I don't envy that much about skinny girls, but that and crossing your legs are high on my list lol.


----------



## calauria

I C that I am loving life right now!!!!


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Jes said:


> Freecycle? Craigslist?



Property manager. I exchange rent stability (rent doesn't go up) with a property manager who is very hands off and barely does anything to maintain the building. I wish the manager would do a lot more around here, but I'm not complaining about the rent stability and I try not to bug him with too many issues. The property management company owns lots of bigger properties that make them far much more money than my little building does, so we're just a drop in the bucket to them. But I did call the manager about the basketball hoop. He says he's aware the other tenants left it behind and they will have it hauled away soon.


----------



## Weeze

sarie said:


> i confess that i've always wanted to sit the way skinny girls do soemtimes with their knees folded up into their chest. D:



Me too, actually.


----------



## butch

IC that I appear to have chosen something other than ambition. I've never quite been the Type A 'type,' anyway.


----------



## CarlaSixx

I don't know what the panda thing is about, but I decided to play along anyways.


----------



## thatgirl08

sarie said:


> i confess that i've always wanted to sit the way skinny girls do soemtimes with their knees folded up into their chest. D:



Me too.. and crossing my legs.


----------



## CarlaSixx

thatgirl08 said:


> Me too.. and crossing my legs.



Crossing my legs is one thing I envy of skinny girls. It's the only feminine thing I really want to be able to do and can't. Not even close and never even came close, lol. Part of it is because of my hanging belly, though. It knocks me backwards, which is why I can't even sit on the ground at all


----------



## thatgirl08

CarlaSixx said:


> Crossing my legs is one thing I envy of skinny girls. It's the only feminine thing I really want to be able to do and can't. Not even close and never even came close, lol. Part of it is because of my hanging belly, though. It knocks me backwards, which is why I can't even sit on the ground at all



I feel your pain on this. I sit on the ground sometimes but I hate it.. like reallllly hate it.


----------



## Fallenangel2904

I'm starting to think every fat girl at one time or another has wished she could sit like that- with your knees tucked up, or legs crossed....I've talked to SO many- in the SA community and outside of it who have said the same thing lol.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Yep - me too! I even remember an abstract figurine I saw a few years back that was sitting like that, knees into her chest, face between the knees...and it just seemed so comforting somehow. But alas...


----------



## littlefairywren

I have always wanted to be able to cross my legs too. I can kinda manage it if I lean way over and almost end up with my face in the side of the couch lol. My tummy and thighs just wont cooperate with me. And yeah, the same for sitting on the ground. I watch people just plonk themselves down there and want to join them, but know the drama of having to actually get up.


----------



## spiritangel

That I cancelled going to the meditation retreat because I had to trust my gut instinct and listen to all the roadblocks that were being thrown in my path. I have learnt the hard way that when I dont trust my intuition I get myself into trouble 

and am miffed at where spring is anyone know cause we seem to still be in winter here?


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Ok, I really don't mean to be gross and disgusting here, but IC I've had a major case of the farts since yesterday afternoon. I don't know what I ate, or when, but since I got home from work yesterday afternoon, something has been making me incredibly gassy. It's continued this morning, while I sit here wasting time on the computer before going to work. I really hope it doesn't continue while I'm _at_ work. Talk about embarrassing. I really don't want to have a student sitting in my tiny office while I'm farting away. Gas is just not meant for tiny spaces.


----------



## jewels_mystery

CarlaSixx said:


> Crossing my legs is one thing I envy of skinny girls. It's the only feminine thing I really want to be able to do and can't. Not even close and never even came close, lol. Part of it is because of my hanging belly, though. It knocks me backwards, which is why I can't even sit on the ground at all



Same here. Nice to know we are all part of this wonderful club.


----------



## isamarie69

I have always crossed my legs and find it more uncomfortable to not cross them. maybe my body trained its self. Weird though well maybe because most of my weight is in my belly.


----------



## TinyTum

isamarie69 said:


> I have always crossed my legs and find it more uncomfortable to not cross them. maybe my body trained its self. Weird though well maybe because most of my weight is in my belly.



I think it's the thighs that determine on how well you can cross your legs. At my heaviest, my thighs became quite chunky and I found it uncomfortable to cross my legs then.


----------



## CarlaSixx

Yeah I have muscle thighs with lotsa fat on the inner part so crossing doesn't happen. It sucks. 

IC I am at a bus stop, stealing Internet. I'm glad I am because I found out my book I pre ordered in April has been shipped today. A week ahead of time. So I might receive it by Friday. And I am extremely excited!


----------



## Punkin1024

Add one more little fatty that can't cross her legs. The best I can do is cross my ankles. Having short legs has never helped either! IC that I also envy those that have a lap! I've never been able to hold a child, baby or pet in my "lap" - there's none there because of my tummy. Sigh!


----------



## CastingPearls

Add another one to the list. I've always wanted to cross my legs but my thighs are too heavy to do so.


----------



## Tau

But on a serious tip what is with all the pandas??


----------



## Jes

thirtiesgirl said:


> Property manager. I exchange rent stability (rent doesn't go up) with a property manager who is very hands off and barely does anything to maintain the building. I wish the manager would do a lot more around here, but I'm not complaining about the rent stability and I try not to bug him with too many issues. The property management company owns lots of bigger properties that make them far much more money than my little building does, so we're just a drop in the bucket to them. But I did call the manager about the basketball hoop. He says he's aware the other tenants left it behind and they will have it hauled away soon.



well, i didn't really understand this answer 30s, as a listing on freecycle usually gets people to come and haul away stuff for free since they want to own it for free, but i'm glad you are getting your frustration taken care of. if the mgr. doesn't do it, post a curb alert on freecycle. someone would be happy to have that thing.


----------



## Jes

thirtiesgirl said:


> Ok, I really don't mean to be gross and disgusting here, but IC I've had a major case of the farts since yesterday afternoon. I don't know what I ate, or when, but since I got home from work yesterday afternoon, something has been making me incredibly gassy. It's continued this morning, while I sit here wasting time on the computer before going to work. I really hope it doesn't continue while I'm _at_ work. Talk about embarrassing. I really don't want to have a student sitting in my tiny office while I'm farting away. Gas is just not meant for tiny spaces.



You can buy some pills and give 'em a shot. You don't want to risk being known as 'that farty advisor' so early in the schoolyear.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Jes said:


> well, i didn't really understand this answer 30s, as a listing on freecycle usually gets people to come and haul away stuff for free since they want to own it for free, but i'm glad you are getting your frustration taken care of. if the mgr. doesn't do it, post a curb alert on freecycle. someone would be happy to have that thing.



I didn't want to go so far as to spend time looking around for a freecycle group in my area or post it on Craigslist and wait for responses. The last time I posted something on CL, I received responses from 3 people who said they wanted the item, and all 3 of them flaked on me. I don't use CL much to sell or get rid of items anymore. I just wanted the b-ball hoop gone, without a lot of effort on my part since it isn't mine. The neighbors who left it behind were also some of the rudest neighbors I've ever lived near, so I really didn't want to put in any extra effort for something they left behind.

What happened was the property manager called the neighbors at their new place and told them that _they_ had to remove the hoop, as they should have done when they moved out. The rude neighbors showed up last night and took the hoop apart so they could break it in pieces and haul them away. It's now gone.



Jes said:


> You can buy some pills and give 'em a shot. You don't want to risk being known as 'that farty advisor' so early in the schoolyear.



I've tried Beano and gas relief pills, and while they do work well, I find that they make me even _more_ farty while eliminating the gas, which is kind of at cross-purposes for helping me be _less_ farty. I think I figured out the cause of the issue, though. Monday night, I had sauerkraut for dinner, which I haven't eaten in a while, so I'd forgotten what effect cabbage has on my tum. Fortunately, I had no major incidents at work yesterday, except for one rather bad moment when I was walking around outside during lunch supervision. I had to make a quick rush to an area away from students, and fortunately it was mostly silent and I was outside.


----------



## CarlaSixx

Ask your doc for Ovol. My mom got some cuz she gets gassy when stressed and she ended up not gassy at all with the use of them.


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC that my flight yesterday was actually quite comfortable. Maybe expecting the worst helped me to be pleasantly surprised.  But seriously, I was actually quite happy with how things went - didn't feel "too big" really at all. I'm super grateful for that!


----------



## AuntHen

mcbeth said:


> IC that my flight yesterday was actually quite comfortable. Maybe expecting the worst helped me to be pleasantly surprised.  But seriously, I was actually quite happy with how things went - didn't feel "too big" really at all. I'm super grateful for that!



Yay!! :happy:


----------



## Brenda

So sorry about losing your beautiful kitty. 

Brenda


----------



## Ruffie

I confess this week feel kind of defeated. One of the kids we work with overdosed and one of our former youth committed suicide so rather emotionally wrung out.


----------



## Famouslastwords

Ruffie said:


> I confess this week feel kind of defeated. One of the kids we work with overdosed and one of our former youth committed suicide so rather emotionally wrung out.



Oh God. Ruffie that's terrible! I'm so sorry that you have to go through this.

I C I can be rather ungrateful most of the time for the things I have. I always want more, more, more. I wish I'd win the lottery so I can buy a house, and a better car, etc. I should be thankful that I have a car at all, so many here have to use the bus, a thing I haven't had to do since I was a freshman in high school, and that I have a place to live that is bigger than what I used to live in. Sometimes I also wish my boyfriend would make more money, he used to bring in $45,000 a year, and now he brings in less. But really I should be thankful he has a job, and that I have one as well, and that we have extra every month. So many people are looking for jobs, and are scraping by barely. I guess I don't think about that and focus solely on what I want, like it's a race. And I am thankful for what I have. I try to give back to others, by tipping well-even for average service, and donating to charities and food drives. I went to the grocery store sometime this year and there was a drive for groceries. I donated bags upon bags of stuff. Stuff that was on the list that I didn't think people would donate. Like the good kind of laundry detergent, and stuff. So I'm not a terrible person. I'm just ungrateful when I'm so blessed.


----------



## calauria

Ruffie said:


> I confess this week feel kind of defeated. One of the kids we work with overdosed and one of our former youth committed suicide so rather emotionally wrung out.



OMG!! Why are so many committing suicide? My cousin committed suicide on Oct. 8th, went to his funeral, yesterday....It's so disturbing!!


----------



## Jes

mcbeth said:


> IC that my flight yesterday was actually quite comfortable. Maybe expecting the worst helped me to be pleasantly surprised.  But seriously, I was actually quite happy with how things went - didn't feel "too big" really at all. I'm super grateful for that!



Did you look sexy flying? i won't be happy 'til you tell me you looked sexy on that plane.


----------



## Punkin1024

Ruffie said:


> I confess this week feel kind of defeated. One of the kids we work with overdosed and one of our former youth committed suicide so rather emotionally wrung out.



Ruffie, I am so, so sorry this has happened. (((((((HUGS)))))))


----------



## Punkin1024

Famouslastwords said:


> Oh God. Ruffie that's terrible! I'm so sorry that you have to go through this.
> 
> I C I can be rather ungrateful most of the time for the things I have. I always want more, more, more. So I'm not a terrible person. I'm just ungrateful when I'm so blessed.



You know, I imagine there are many of us that feels this way. I blame society, the constant push to do better. There is a feeling that, if you are doing okay, that you should push to be FANTASTIC. Sigh! Sometimes I just want to sit a while and smile. And, I don't think you are ungrateful, just perhaps frustrated that you feel you need more in life to be satisfied (again, media and society to blame). However, I never will give up my dream of winning the lotto - !


----------



## LovelyLiz

Jes said:


> Did you look sexy flying? i won't be happy 'til you tell me you looked sexy on that plane.



Today I was ridiculously hungover and had 2 hours of sleep. Did not look sexy. But I hope you can be happy anyway.


----------



## Tau

Ruffie said:


> I confess this week feel kind of defeated. One of the kids we work with overdosed and one of our former youth committed suicide so rather emotionally wrung out.



I'm so, so sorry. Sending prayers your way and theirs *LOVE*


----------



## Tau

mcbeth said:


> Today I was ridiculously hungover and had 2 hours of sleep. Did not look sexy. But I hope you can be happy anyway.



Nice  I hope you took pictures!!!


----------



## jewels_mystery

Ruffie said:


> I confess this week feel kind of defeated. One of the kids we work with overdosed and one of our former youth committed suicide so rather emotionally wrung out.



Ruffie, my heart is going out with you. I am so sorry.


----------



## Ruffie

Thanks everyone*hugs* I appreciate the kind words, thoughts and prayers. It is something that we understand can and does happen working with at risk people but it is something you never get used to.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

So sorry to hear, Ruffie. Rough to hear about kids going before their time, especially when affected by depression.


IC, I'm pissed off at a guy I just met online. He sent me a message this afternoon, including his phone number, suggesting that I call him right away. I messaged him back, saying I don't usually call someone that I've just met online. I asked him to tell me a little bit about himself, which he did in his next message, although he kept it very brief and again said that I should call him. I like what he has to say for himself in his profile, so I decided that I should give him the benefit of the doubt and give him a call. ...Which I did about 15 minutes later, only to get his voicemail. All this urging to call him (the 'right now!' seemed implied in his messages)... and then he doesn't even pick up the phone. Jerky boy.


----------



## jewels_mystery

thirtiesgirl said:


> So sorry to hear, Ruffie. Rough to hear about kids going before their time, especially when affected by depression.
> 
> 
> IC, I'm pissed off at a guy I just met online. He sent me a message this afternoon, including his phone number, suggesting that I call him right away. I messaged him back, saying I don't usually call someone that I've just met online. I asked him to tell me a little bit about himself, which he did in his next message, although he kept it very brief and again said that I should call him. I like what he has to say for himself in his profile, so I decided that I should give him the benefit of the doubt and give him a call. ...Which I did about 15 minutes later, only to get his voicemail. All this urging to call him (the 'right now!' seemed implied in his messages)... and then he doesn't even pick up the phone. Jerky boy.



wow. that was so rude of him. Did he call you back?


----------



## jewels_mystery

IC I got another job offer. I am half happy about it. I have to pass a security check which I am not worried about. No start date, just "sometime in November". I will be moving to Ohio. I plan to throw my stuff in storage until I get settled and move it down later. I kind of wanted to stay in Oklahoma but could not find anything here. Ohio is closer to NYC and my family and friends. So that is a huge bonus.

On a side note, just found out my cousin is pregnant. I am like wtf? This woman has 3 kids that her mom had to raise. She lost her parental rights for her two daughters. Sad to say but several of the family members are concerned that her mom will be forced to raise this child also. My aunt is in her mid 60's and in bad health.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

jewels_mystery said:


> IC I got another job offer. I am half happy about it. I have to pass a security check which I am not worried about. No start date, just "sometime in November". I will be moving to Ohio. I plan to throw my stuff in storage until I get settled and move it down later. I kind of wanted to stay in Oklahoma but could not find anything here. Ohio is closer to NYC and my family and friends. So that is a huge bonus.
> 
> On a side note, just found out my cousin is pregnant. I am like wtf? This woman has 3 kids that her mom had to raise. She lost her parental rights for her two daughters. Sad to say but several of the family members are concerned that her mom will be forced to raise this child also. My aunt is in her mid 60's and in bad health.



Good luck with the job!


----------



## thirtiesgirl

jewels_mystery said:


> wow. that was so rude of him. Did he call you back?



Nope. Never heard from him again, via phone or online. ...Cluck cluck cluck.


----------



## gobettiepurple

IC that I went to the gym on sunday to upgrade so I can go to any gym in the country [cool, right? and it didnt even cost a thing!] and the guy at the counter, totally hot and totally flirting with me I think. He was hot and chisled out of stone . . . but, most likely, just being nice, making the sell and probably has a gf. still, totally made my day!


----------



## luscious_lulu

Ic that I'm feeling sad/depressed today and I don't know why. I just want to go home, cry & sleep.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

I hear ya, Lulu. I'm feeling the same way.


----------



## jewels_mystery

luscious_lulu said:


> Ic that I'm feeling sad/depressed today and I don't know why. I just want to go home, cry & sleep.





MizzSnakeBite said:


> I hear ya, Lulu. I'm feeling the same way.



{{Hugs}} I hope it gets better. Have a glass of wine or go out with friends. That always helps me.


----------



## luscious_lulu

MizzSnakeBite said:


> I hear ya, Lulu. I'm feeling the same way.



(((hugs)))


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

jewels_mystery said:


> {{Hugs}} I hope it gets better. Have a glass of wine or go out with friends. That always helps me.





luscious_lulu said:


> (((hugs)))



Thanks, ladies, and (((hugs))) backatcha


----------



## thirtiesgirl

IC I did a dumb thing last night. I drank one of those damn Starbucks iced coffee drinks (the adult Yoohoo) around 11 pm last night because I happened to have it in the fridge, and then I couldn't get to sleep the whole damn night. I've been at work all day, and now I'm home feeling totally spaced out and blank due to sleep deprivation. That's what happens when you don't think before you drink.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Picked up my new med today. We'll see if it helps with the swallowing.


----------



## littlefairywren

luscious_lulu said:


> Ic that I'm feeling sad/depressed today and I don't know why. I just want to go home, cry & sleep.



I hope you're feeling better soon, lulu....hugs.



MizzSnakeBite said:


> I hear ya, Lulu. I'm feeling the same way.



Hey Momma B, I got lotsa hugs for you :wubu:


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> **snip**
> 
> 
> 
> Hey Momma B, I got lotsa hugs for you :wubu:



Tank ewe, bebeh doll. :wubu: I'm needing them.


----------



## luscious_lulu

littlefairywren said:


> I hope you're feeling better soon, lulu....hugs.
> 
> 
> 
> Hey Momma B, I got lotsa hugs for you :wubu:



Thanks lfw


----------



## Jes

thirtiesgirl said:


> Nope. Never heard from him again, via phone or online. ...Cluck cluck cluck.



PM everyone his phone no. We'll all call and leave him cuckoo messages. I certainly will. Do it.


----------



## calauria

Jes said:


> PM everyone his phone no. We'll all call and leave him cuckoo messages. I certainly will. Do it.



YES!!! DO IT!!!


----------



## BigCutieMeg

I confess that I love to check out chubby chicks on forums all the time and compare their shapes to my shapes...


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Jes said:


> PM everyone his phone no. We'll all call and leave him cuckoo messages. I certainly will. Do it.





calauria said:


> YES!!! DO IT!!!



Seriously?? That _would_ be damn funny. I can think of other guys I've met online who are _way_ more deserving of that kind of meanness than this guy, though. ...I mean, all he did was not pick up the phone. ...But it would be kind of funny to at least let _one_ of these online jerks know that their antics are not appreciated. Should I do it?


----------



## CastingPearls

Do it. .....................


----------



## mossystate

thirtiesgirl said:


> Seriously?? That _would_ be damn funny. I can think of other guys I've met online who are _way_ more deserving of that kind of meanness than this guy, though. ...I mean, all he did was not pick up the phone. ...But it would be kind of funny to at least let _one_ of these online jerks know that their antics are not appreciated. Should I do it?



Ummmm...no....don't do it. I already know you would do it, as I asked you to post a pic of your ex in chat...lol...but fight the power of the poke and dare...this time.


----------



## LovelyLiz

mossystate said:


> Ummmm...no....don't do it. I already know you would do it, as I asked you to post a pic of your ex in chat...lol...but fight the power of the poke and dare...this time.



I agree, since he sounds more like a floppy fish than a shark. But I think it's something we should hold in our back pockets for future reference.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

mossystate said:


> Ummmm...no....don't do it. I already know you would do it, as I asked you to post a pic of your ex in chat...lol...but fight the power of the poke and dare...this time.



The pics of my ex were harmless. He wasn't naked, he wasn't sharing anything for my eyes only, and one of them was a pic he's already posted online himself. I think that's a bit different than sharing the phone number of a guy I've only talked with online twice.


----------



## CarlaSixx

The problem with posting pics of ids on dating sites is that there's plenty of pedophiles on those sites, and it just gives them something to oggle after, even if the parent didn't intend for that kind of thing to happen (which if they did, that would be creepy).

I would mark someone as a NO if they had pics of little kids up on a dating site, no matter what.

I've often flagged pictures of people because of this and more often than not, the site owners agree and make the person take them down. It's for protection of the child's safety.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

CarlaSixx said:


> The problem with posting pics of ids on dating sites is that there's plenty of pedophiles on those sites, and it just gives them something to oggle after, even if the parent didn't intend for that kind of thing to happen (which if they did, that would be creepy).
> 
> I would mark someone as a NO if they had pics of little kids up on a dating site, no matter what.
> 
> I've often flagged pictures of people because of this and more often than not, the site owners agree and make the person take them down. It's for protection of the child's safety.



I agree, it's questionable, but I don't judge someone on making an unintentional bad choice, and I'd rather see honesty online than guys trying to hide things. I've experienced that one too many times. I wouldn't have responded to the guy if he'd written anything that indicated he was anything other than he is, which is a hard working single dad with some family problems. I dated the guy for 2 years and if I felt he had any bad intentions towards his kids, I would have ended things much sooner.


----------



## Lovelyone

I woke up from a nap this afternoon feeling rather unpretty. I took a look in the mirror and saw tangled unbrushed hair, bags under my eyes, a pimple, and more gray hair. The thoughts "old maidish" and "matronly" popped into my mind. I've gotta start doing something about that.


----------



## Jes

Lovelyone said:


> I woke up from a nap this afternoon feeling rather unpretty. I took a look in the mirror and saw tangled unbrushed hair, bags under my eyes, a pimple, and more gray hair. The thoughts "old maidish" and "matronly" popped into my mind. I've gotta start doing something about that.



I hear you....I'm not a morning person and now that I'm older, it really shows.


----------



## EvilPrincess

Please respect the intent of this thread along with the BBW Forum. If you have an issue with a poster take it to PM. If you feel that you need assistance contact a moderator. 

Regards EP/Mod


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I would've stayed at a certain bar last night with friends if the ex-strippers and the guys gawking at them didn't make me feel as ugly and uncomfortable as they did 

Not that I didn't have a great time when we left, but it wouldn't have been as bad if we didn't leave. It kinda sucks that I let them get to me. Then again... the bar we went to just recently stopped being a strip club, so someone like me won't really be accepted there, anyways.


----------



## Jes

sweet jesus on the cross, I have spent almost the entire afternoon dicking around and not doing homework. I don't like this stupid book, I don't feel like being inside, and I feel itchy. I just keep doing other stuff. In class tomorrow, I'm just gonna say the thing sucked. It sucks! I'm bored! I have to clean my house! it's 5.45 and I haven't even put on a bra yet today. 

the end.


----------



## Jes

i haven't done laundry in so long that i am now faced with the prospect of wearing a hot pink g-string to the gym.

Helloooo, freeballin!


----------



## CastingPearls

I have a pile of clean clothes next to the bed that has reached tsunami proportions. I am not the least bit bothered by it.


----------



## thatgirl08

For the first time in a long time I put myself out there with a guy who didn't identify as an FA and after a week of mixed signals ending in semi-rejection I reallllllllly regret it.


----------



## LovelyLiz

thatgirl08 said:


> For the first time in a long time I put myself out there with a guy who didn't identify as an FA and after a week of mixed signals ending in semi-rejection I reallllllllly regret it.



Been there SOOOO often. Sucks majorly (whether the guy is an FA or not...but I agree, there's a special way it stings when he's not). STILL...MAJOR PROPS to you for being in the game!!!! Putting yourself out there is not easy, not at all, and I hope you can recognize - even amid all the pain accompanying rejection - that you are a brave-ass girl for doing that! *Especially* with someone who doesn't identify as an FA. So, even tho it probably won't make you feel better now, these bows are for you puttting yourself out there: :bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow: Seriously, props.


----------



## thatgirl08

Thank you doll :]


----------



## Tau

thatgirl08 said:


> For the first time in a long time I put myself out there with a guy who didn't identify as an FA and after a week of mixed signals ending in semi-rejection I reallllllllly regret it.



I have got to echoe Mcbeth here!! Way to go chick!!! :bow: I really respect that you did it at all - sucky as being rejected is. And major hugz to help take the sting out a little *smish*


----------



## littlefairywren

IC that I have been having off days. Days when my body feels wrong, and it actually annoys me. When I feel FAT, which sounds completely stupid, because I actually am fat.


----------



## Donna

littlefairywren said:


> IC that I have been having off days. Days when my body feels wrong, and it actually annoys me. When I feel FAT, which sounds completely stupid, because I actually am fat.



Doesn't sound stupid at all to me. If I am reading between the lines correctly, what you are saying is that some days you feel the effects of being fat moreso than others. 

Anyway, I'm sorry you are having those days and I hope they are few and far between.


----------



## Lovelyone

IC that the man that I am interested in regularly calls me beautiful and sexy. While that is a wonderful thing in most situations and most women would do anything to have someone talk to them this way, I dont know why, but it feels awkward to me. I dare say that I would feel more comfortable if he said "cute" or "good looking" over beautiful and sexy.

I can't figure out why I have such a problem accepting the compliment and believing that he really thinks that way about me. I don't particularly think I am "sexy" persay--that is to say that I never really felt sexyish even when I tried--I've always felt kinda clumsy when it comes to the word "sexy" (and now I am laughing and terrified at the same time that I am sharing this info with anyone, much less an entire forum full of people who know me both from here and in person). I am pretty sure that they don;t use my face for the mold when they make monster cookies...in fact, I just think (and I am just being honest with myself here) that I am an average looking person. I don't think that its bad to b e an average looking person, so why is it so hard for me to think that being a beautiful person is out of reach?


----------



## TraciJo67

Lovelyone said:


> IC that the man that I am interested in regularly calls me beautiful and sexy. While that is a wonderful thing in most situations and most women would do anything to have someone talk to them this way, I dont know why, but it feels awkward to me. I dare say that I would feel more comfortable if he said "cute" or "good looking" over beautiful and sexy.
> 
> I can't figure out why I have such a problem accepting the compliment and believing that he really thinks that way about me. I don't particularly think I am "sexy" persay--that is to say that I never really felt sexyish even when I tried--I've always felt kinda clumsy when it comes to the word "sexy" (and now I am laughing and terrified at the same time that I am sharing this info with anyone, much less an entire forum full of people who know me both from here and in person). I am pretty sure that they don;t use my face for the mold when they make monster cookies...in fact, I just think (and I am just being honest with myself here) that I am an average looking person. I don't think that its bad to b e an average looking person, so why is it so hard for me to think that being a beautiful person is out of reach?


 
I think that you have beautifully warm, expressive eyes and that you are far from average. Hopefully, you will become more comfortable and more accepting of hearing that you are sexy and desirable to your man, the more he tells you (and shows you).


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

littlefairywren said:


> IC that I have been having off days. Days when my body feels wrong, and it actually annoys me. When I feel FAT, which sounds completely stupid, because I actually am fat.



(((hugs))) to mah Chicklet :wubu:


----------



## Jes

Lovelyone said:


> in fact, I just think (and I am just being honest with myself here) that I am an average looking person. I don't think that its bad to b e an average looking person, so why is it so hard for me to think that being a beautiful person is out of reach?



I hear you. It can seem weird b/c it foregrounds something you either don't think is true about yourself or b/c you're just not used to it. Have you ever known a man (or even a woman, if we're talking about the word 'beautiful') who wouldn't be considered conventionally attractive but about whom you think 'good looking' or 'hot' or 'sexy?' If you're capable of that, why can't this guy be? I don't know that I'm a proponent of the 'everyone is good looking' thing. That's just my opinion. So I know what you're grappling with, if you think that too. But as I see it, when I'm naked with someone, I've got the best-looking set of tits in the room (depending on the room. haha. Just kidding). He's saying you're sexy. He's not saying you're the sexiest woman of all the sexy women who have ever walked this sexy, sexy earth. It just means he thinks you're sexy, or being sexy, or that you make him feel sexy or like being sexy.

Now, that said, you used the word 'awkward' to describe this, and I do want to point out that sometimes, it IS awkward and you SHOULD be reacting as you're reacting. THere are guys who start calling you 'hon' in Chat, or online, or whatever. They pay you endless compliments, trying to win you over. They write you awful love poems and talk about marriage before you've met. They come off as slimey and they usually ARE slimey. So if that's what the situation is, and that's what you're feeling, keep in mind that you're probably right.

Sometimes, I wish I was told I was beautiful more often, but if I'm honest with myself, I have to admit it would probably decenter me at times. So...


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Lovelyone said:


> IC that the man that I am interested in regularly calls me beautiful and sexy. While that is a wonderful thing in most situations and most women would do anything to have someone talk to them this way, I dont know why, but it feels awkward to me. I dare say that I would feel more comfortable if he said "cute" or "good looking" over beautiful and sexy.
> 
> I can't figure out why I have such a problem accepting the compliment and believing that he really thinks that way about me. I don't particularly think I am "sexy" persay--that is to say that I never really felt sexyish even when I tried--I've always felt kinda clumsy when it comes to the word "sexy" (and now I am laughing and terrified at the same time that I am sharing this info with anyone, much less an entire forum full of people who know me both from here and in person). I am pretty sure that they don;t use my face for the mold when they make monster cookies...in fact, I just think (and I am just being honest with myself here) that I am an average looking person. I don't think that its bad to b e an average looking person, so why is it so hard for me to think that being a beautiful person is out of reach?



I know where you're coming from, Lovely. I have no issue with a guy telling me he finds me beautiful and sexy...just not all the time. I don't know if that's exactly what's going on with you, but hearing I'm beautiful and sexy all the time starts seeming fake after a while, or like he's trying to placate me or thinks I have self-confidence issues and need to hear it all the time. Hearing it once in a while is nice, or in a moment of intimacy is nice. But all the time? That's a bit much and usually tells me that the guy doesn't really get me and is saying it for the wrong reasons.


----------



## Lovelyone

Thanks TraciJo, Jes and Thirtiesgirl for the comments and encouragement.

I really think that Jes hit the nail on the head when she said "It can feel weird b/c it foregrounds something you either don't think is true about yourself or b/c you're just not used to it." To some degree I think that you are correct on both parts of that sentence.
I truly think the guy is sincere, I dont feel that he's trying to placate me and he's not doing it in a creepy "I want more pics of you" way. He's just a really sweet and kind man who isn't afraid to say what he's thinking and he happens to think I am beautiful and sexy. Maybe upon hearing it so often I might actually start feeling that way...I dont know. I feel so perplexed cos I WANT someone to think of me that way--but oddly enough--I dont usually believe it when they say it.


----------



## IrishBBWQueen

IC that I miss my daughter!! 

As a single Mother I would give a limb to have some free time to myself without the constant invasion of head & physical space, demands, tantrums, attitude etc Oh to be able to go where I want, when I want...at the drop of a hat... stay up all night..... stay in bed all day.... eat cheese on toast for dinner or even forget to eat at all!!

Then I get my wish, maybe twice a year... it feels like heaven.... it should feel like heaven.... but.... the house is empty, cold and so so quiet. Nobody needs me.... I find I don't have too many places to go or things to do afterall, most of my friends have kids... I miss the love, laughter, joy and playfullness she brings... her face lights up when she sees me and I find.... that's where heaven is... in her lovely warm brown eyes.

Now my eyes are like the weather here today.. it's raining lol

IC I'm a fool!!


----------



## MissStacie

right now..I hate being a fattie. I hate that I'm almost 6 months pregnant and don't LOOK pregnant. I hate that I can't feel the baby kick against my hand like other women do. I hate that, outwardly, it just doesn't LOOK like I'm pregnant. Its taken away some of joy from this because when my husband looks at me...all he sees is fat...not our baby...

Damn it all....right now...being fat sucks.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

Lovelyone said:


> Thanks TraciJo, Jes and Thirtiesgirl for the comments and encouragement.
> 
> I really think that Jes hit the nail on the head when she said "It can feel weird b/c it foregrounds something you either don't think is true about yourself or b/c you're just not used to it." To some degree I think that you are correct on both parts of that sentence.
> I truly think the guy is sincere, I dont feel that he's trying to placate me and he's not doing it in a creepy "I want more pics of you" way. He's just a really sweet and kind man who isn't afraid to say what he's thinking and he happens to think I am beautiful and sexy. Maybe upon hearing it so often I might actually start feeling that way...I dont know. I feel so perplexed cos I WANT someone to think of me that way--but oddly enough--I dont usually believe it when they say it.



I really understand where you're coming from. When I was growing up, I pretty much never got told I was pretty/beautiful/etc, and when I did, it was with the disclaimer, "...is slimming," "you have a pretty face," etc. My mother almost never told me I looked nice, and the very, very few times she'd tell me I looked nice in such and such, I'd flinch in shock.. It all makes me very uncomfortable. 



IrishBBWQueen said:


> IC that I miss my daughter!!
> 
> As a single Mother I would give a limb to have some free time to myself without the constant invasion of head & physical space, demands, tantrums, attitude etc Oh to be able to go where I want, when I want...at the drop of a hat... stay up all night..... stay in bed all day.... eat cheese on toast for dinner or even forget to eat at all!!
> 
> Then I get my wish, maybe twice a year... it feels like heaven.... it should feel like heaven.... but.... the house is empty, cold and so so quiet. Nobody needs me.... I find I don't have too many places to go or things to do afterall, most of my friends have kids... I miss the love, laughter, joy and playfullness she brings... her face lights up when she sees me and I find.... that's where heaven is... in her lovely warm brown eyes.
> 
> Now my eyes are like the weather here today.. it's raining lol
> 
> IC I'm a fool!!





MissStacie said:


> right now..I hate being a fattie. I hate that I'm almost 6 months pregnant and don't LOOK pregnant. I hate that I can't feel the baby kick against my hand like other women do. I hate that, outwardly, it just doesn't LOOK like I'm pregnant. Its taken away some of joy from this because when my husband looks at me...all he sees is fat...not our baby...
> 
> Damn it all....right now...being fat sucks.



(((hugs)))

MissStacie, I hope your pregnancy goes as smoothly as possible.


----------



## MissStacie

Thats the thing..MsSB, it IS going incredibly smooth(knock on wood), and I'm just bitching about not being able to visibly SEE the pregnancy. Thank you, though...both baby and I are doing very, very well!


----------



## Surlysomething

MissStacie said:


> Thats the thing..MsSB, it IS going incredibly smooth(knock on wood), and I'm just bitching about not being able to visibly SEE the pregnancy. Thank you, though...both baby and I are doing very, very well!


 

My sister never felt my niece move hardly at all and she was average size. 

I'm glad things are going so smoothly for you though! Sounds exciting, don't be too down.


----------



## Salus in Arduis

I confess that Facebook is rather aptly named. I want to punch it in the face.


----------



## CarlaSixx

A guy I used to like when I was younger (but he didn't know) started talking to me recently, and last night he talked about meeting up. Not only that, but he talked about if it went smoothly, what he would like to do with me. And while I would find it weird had it been someone I went to school with, it's not the case! Lol. 

But at the same time, I'd give anything to hear from some people I went to school with. We may not have been good friends but we got along pretty nicely when school ended. I just want to hear from them all. I want them to update me on their lives. For some reason I really miss my old classmates. I mean... Its been over 3 years since I last saw most of them, but I wish I could see them now. I know most of them would be positive influences on me if we were to talk. Perhaps that's the reason I want to talk with them so badly.


----------



## LovelyLiz

CarlaSixx said:


> A guy I used to like when I was younger (but he didn't know) started talking to me recently, and last night he talked about meeting up. Not only that, but he talked about if it went smoothly, what he would like to do with me. And while I would find it weird had it been someone I went to school with, it's not the case! Lol.
> 
> But at the same time, I'd give anything to hear from some people I went to school with. We may not have been good friends but we got along pretty nicely when school ended. I just want to hear from them all. I want them to update me on their lives. For some reason I really miss my old classmates. I mean... Its been over 3 years since I last saw most of them, but I wish I could see them now. I know most of them would be positive influences on me if we were to talk. Perhaps that's the reason I want to talk with them so badly.



Hope things go well with that guy!  As for the other people you went to school with, can you contact them, instead of waiting for them to contact you?


----------



## Bigtigmom

MissStacie said:


> right now..I hate being a fattie. I hate that I'm almost 6 months pregnant and don't LOOK pregnant. I hate that I can't feel the baby kick against my hand like other women do. I hate that, outwardly, it just doesn't LOOK like I'm pregnant. Its taken away some of joy from this because when my husband looks at me...all he sees is fat...not our baby...
> 
> Damn it all....right now...being fat sucks.



Please don't be down on yourself MissStacie!! I have 2 daughters and I was obese during both of my pregnancies. I guess I didn't really fret over not seeing my pregnancy, I kinda just accepted that I wasn't going to LOOK pregnant. Your focus Missy is that beautiful little bundle that is being nourished from your body. I had no trouble feeling the kicking. One experience I did have while carrying my youngest was the experience of watching my entire stomach roll. One night while watching tv on the couch, I felt her move and actually saw my whole stomach distort at the same time. You see my little independent minded child decided to flip herself around and become breach. That was a sight, to say the least. Of course an ultrasound confirmed she was in fact butt side down. I had no choice, my C-section was all scheduled and I just had to wait. Funny thing is she flipped herself back 2 days before the C-section. Besides the acrobatics it was a normal pregnancy. When you hold your baby nothing else will matter!! Believe me.

As far as your husband only seeing fat when he looks at you, not true. As you progress, you and he will both notice the changes. Not to mention that your hormones are messing with your thought pattern and rationality. I swear it will be ok. Wish I could give you a hug and convey the support that I'm sure alot of women would be happy to give you. From Mommy to Mommy you are awesome and deserve the best!!!


----------



## mossystate

Pushing myself to get my ass in gear with doing something, anything, with all the bits and baubles I have accumulated. Two necklaces that are not complete, but going to show a quick blurry pic of them anyway...me shoving myself. 
All vintage findings. I will be getting better pictures when they done, as those rhinestones on that locket are insanely sparkly. I am in deep love of those ruby glass ' wing ' cabochons on the watch necklace. Oh, and not sure about that connector...might switch that out. That's a brass mesh bow...sweeeeet.

View attachment 86577


----------



## MissStacie

Thank you so much, Ma'am...I know I'm just hormonal and emotional these days, but its just a small part of the whole experience, I know. I've actually been feeling the baby more and more the last few days, so that, in and of itself is a blessing for sure.

I am pretty belly heavy, with some water retention at a surgical site that has YET to go away after 2 years, so it makes my belly much heavier and thicker than normal, so I'm interested to see how much further my belly sticks out as the baby grows...I should take pictures, but to this point, nothing much has changed except my boobs...

Thank you again for the pep talk!




Bigtigmom said:


> Please don't be down on yourself MissStacie!! I have 2 daughters and I was obese during both of my pregnancies. I guess I didn't really fret over not seeing my pregnancy, I kinda just accepted that I wasn't going to LOOK pregnant. Your focus Missy is that beautiful little bundle that is being nourished from your body. I had no trouble feeling the kicking. One experience I did have while carrying my youngest was the experience of watching my entire stomach roll. One night while watching tv on the couch, I felt her move and actually saw my whole stomach distort at the same time. You see my little independent minded child decided to flip herself around and become breach. That was a sight, to say the least. Of course an ultrasound confirmed she was in fact butt side down. I had no choice, my C-section was all scheduled and I just had to wait. Funny thing is she flipped herself back 2 days before the C-section. Besides the acrobatics it was a normal pregnancy. When you hold your baby nothing else will matter!! Believe me.
> 
> As far as your husband only seeing fat when he looks at you, not true. As you progress, you and he will both notice the changes. Not to mention that your hormones are messing with your thought pattern and rationality. I swear it will be ok. Wish I could give you a hug and convey the support that I'm sure alot of women would be happy to give you. From Mommy to Mommy you are awesome and deserve the best!!!


----------



## NancyGirl74

IC...You know that look a man gives a woman when he finds her attractive? It's a look in their eye, a slightly knowing smile. Whatever it is its very attractive on men. I can spot that look a mile away when a man aims it at another woman. When it's aimed at me...I wonder if I have something in my teeth or if my makeup is smeared across my face. That look was directed at me today...So, I had to find a mirror just to make sure a booger wasn't stuck to my upper lip or something. Is it self doubt or just a mental block? *shrug* I have no idea.


----------



## CastingPearls

Lovelyone said:


> IC that the man that I am interested in regularly calls me beautiful and sexy. While that is a wonderful thing in most situations and most women would do anything to have someone talk to them this way, I dont know why, but it feels awkward to me. I dare say that I would feel more comfortable if he said "cute" or "good looking" over beautiful and sexy.
> 
> I can't figure out why I have such a problem accepting the compliment and believing that he really thinks that way about me. I don't particularly think I am "sexy" persay--that is to say that I never really felt sexyish even when I tried--I've always felt kinda clumsy when it comes to the word "sexy" (and now I am laughing and terrified at the same time that I am sharing this info with anyone, much less an entire forum full of people who know me both from here and in person). I am pretty sure that they don;t use my face for the mold when they make monster cookies...in fact, I just think (and I am just being honest with myself here) that I am an average looking person. I don't think that its bad to b e an average looking person, so why is it so hard for me to think that being a beautiful person is out of reach?





TraciJo67 said:


> I think that you have beautifully warm, expressive eyes and that you are far from average. Hopefully, you will become more comfortable and more accepting of hearing that you are sexy and desirable to your man, the more he tells you (and shows you).



I agree. We've never met in person, but I do see a lovely woman with warm eyes and smile. I see no reason why a man would not find you beautiful and sexy. If he's into you, he's into you. Enjoy it!


----------



## Candy_Coated_Clown

feels lately that I need some kind of positive miracle or breakthrough to happen...or least some kind of amazing adventure to come onto my path... 

Things feel stagnant lately, and gray...money is tight...although I am doing well with regulating my schedule and the activities therein on a daily basis...


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

CarlaSixx said:


> A guy I used to like when I was younger (but he didn't know) started talking to me recently, and last night he talked about meeting up. Not only that, but he talked about if it went smoothly, what he would like to do with me. And while I would find it weird had it been someone I went to school with, it's not the case! Lol.
> 
> 
> But at the same time, I'd give anything to hear from some people I went to school with. We may not have been good friends but we got along pretty nicely when school ended. I just want to hear from them all. I want them to update me on their lives. For some reason I really miss my old classmates. I mean... Its been over 3 years since I last saw most of them, but I wish I could see them now. I know most of them would be positive influences on me if we were to talk. Perhaps that's the reason I want to talk with them so badly.



Good luck! Also, you might consider contacting your old friends .



mossystate said:


> Pushing myself to get my ass in gear with doing something, anything, with all the bits and baubles I have accumulated. Two necklaces that are not complete, but going to show a quick blurry pic of them anyway...me shoving myself.
> All vintage findings. I will be getting better pictures when they done, as those rhinestones on that locket are insanely sparkly. I am in deep love of those ruby glass ' wing ' cabochons on the watch necklace. Oh, and not sure about that connector...might switch that out. That's a brass mesh bow...sweeeeet.



They're FAB, M!! :bow: You better be showing them off in the hobby thread too! 



NancyGirl74 said:


> IC...You know that look a man gives a woman when he finds her attractive? It's a look in their eye, a slightly knowing smile. Whatever it is its very attractive on men. I can spot that look a mile away when a man aims it at another woman. When it's aimed at me...I wonder if I have something in my teeth or if my makeup is smeared across my face. That look was directed at me today...So, I had to find a mirror just to make sure a booger wasn't stuck to my upper lip or something. Is it self doubt or just a mental block? *shrug* I have no idea.



Yep, I know exactly what you're talking about.


----------



## littlefairywren

MizzSnakeBite said:


> (((hugs))) to mah Chicklet :wubu:



Ta, my darling. Here is a ((((((hug)))))) for you too, cause a girl can never have too many of those :wubu:


----------



## mossystate

MizzSnakeBite said:


> They're FAB, M!! :bow: You better be showing them off in the hobby thread too!



Thanks, Devi!  I think I will wait until I finish them and take pics that don't look like I smeared Vaseline on the camera lens.  

:kiss2:


----------



## Tau

Candy_Coated_Clown said:


> feels lately that I need some kind of positive miracle or breakthrough to happen...or least some kind of amazing adventure to come onto my path...
> 
> Things feel stagnant lately, and gray...money is tight...although I am doing well with regulating my schedule and the activities therein on a daily basis...



Absolutely hear you - I also need a major change soon. There's times I can barely resist getting into my car and just driving, just to be somewhere else.


----------



## mszwebs

NancyGirl74 said:


> IC...You know that look a man gives a woman when he finds her attractive? It's a look in their eye, a slightly knowing smile. Whatever it is its very attractive on men. I can spot that look a mile away when a man aims it at another woman. When it's aimed at me...I wonder if I have something in my teeth or if my makeup is smeared across my face. That look was directed at me today...So, I had to find a mirror just to make sure a booger wasn't stuck to my upper lip or something. Is it self doubt or just a mental block? *shrug* I have no idea.



Dude. I see that look all the time on guys when they look at ladies... its like a twinkle. But I wouldn't even recognize it aimed at me if he was wearing neon and had a marching band leading the way.


----------



## Bigtigmom

MissStacie said:


> Thank you so much, Ma'am...I know I'm just hormonal and emotional these days, but its just a small part of the whole experience, I know. I've actually been feeling the baby more and more the last few days, so that, in and of itself is a blessing for sure.
> 
> I am pretty belly heavy, with some water retention at a surgical site that has YET to go away after 2 years, so it makes my belly much heavier and thicker than normal, so I'm interested to see how much further my belly sticks out as the baby grows...I should take pictures, but to this point, nothing much has changed except my boobs...
> 
> Thank you again for the pep talk!



You are quite welcome, what else am I for but to be a friend and help when needed? Thank you for sharing with us and letting us offer our support. I would love to see pics. Hope to interact with you again soon. Have a great weekend!!!


----------



## jewels_mystery

I am giving up on internet dating. I have had success in the past but lately I have been dealing with slim balls. The lastest...... I just got a call from a guy I was talking to......WIFE!!!! I am still in shock. I told her nothing happened, we haven't met and we were just talking. OMG. My profile clearly states if you are married, separated, living with someone or have a girlfriend, do not contact me. Now I feel like crap although I did not create this situation. ugggh


----------



## littlefairywren

jewels_mystery said:


> I am giving up on internet dating. I have had success in the past but lately I have been dealing with slim balls. The lastest...... I just got a call from a guy I was talking to......WIFE!!!! I am still in shock. I told her nothing happened, we haven't met and we were just talking. OMG. My profile clearly states if you are married, separated, living with someone or have a girlfriend, do not contact me. Now I feel like crap although I did not create this situation. ugggh



That totally sucks! I am sorry that you had to find out that the dude is married, and also the way it came to light. The whole on-line dating thing just depressed me after a while, so I gave it the flick. Hugs, honey!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

jewels_mystery said:


> I am giving up on internet dating. I have had success in the past but lately I have been dealing with slim balls. The lastest...... I just got a call from a guy I was talking to......WIFE!!!! I am still in shock. I told her nothing happened, we haven't met and we were just talking. OMG. My profile clearly states if you are married, separated, living with someone or have a girlfriend, do not contact me. Now I feel like crap although I did not create this situation. ugggh



Ugh. I'm so sorry.  (((Hugs)))


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that stress and lack of time is making me so tired. All I want to do when I get home is shower, put on some comfy jammies and hang out in front of the computer. I know this is counter productive, I should keep up with walking and eating healthy fare, but sometimes I feel a need to just chill and take in some comfort food.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

jewels_mystery said:


> I am giving up on internet dating. I have had success in the past but lately I have been dealing with *slim balls*. The lastest...... I just got a call from a guy I was talking to......WIFE!!!! I am still in shock. I told her nothing happened, we haven't met and we were just talking. OMG. My profile clearly states if you are married, separated, living with someone or have a girlfriend, do not contact me. Now I feel like crap although I did not create this situation. ugggh



I generally prefer a guy's balls to be medium kiwi-sized, too. No slim balls for me. 

I'm so sorry you met a married asshole. I've met my share of them online, too, and met plenty of guys with live-in girlfriends. Two things to consider, though: one, a lot of guys on dating websites like to play assholes when you specifically state you're NOT looking for something in your ad. If I were to say I don't want to meet any sports fans, I'd get contacted by a bunch of sports fans. No drug or alcohol abusers? I'd hear from a bunch of recreational drug using alcoholics. No married guys? Guess who chats you up. It's immature, but then these are the guys who thought it was funny to snap a girl's training bra straps when they were 13.

And two, why the hell should you have to justify your contact with the guy to his _wife_?? I would have told the woman to go yell at her husband since _he's_ the one who contacted _you_ and lied about the fact that he's married, and then hung up on her. You owe no explanations for your behavior to her. Her husband, however, owes her many.


----------



## littlefairywren

thirtiesgirl said:


> I generally prefer a guy's balls to be medium kiwi-sized, too. No slim balls for me.
> 
> I'm so sorry you met a married asshole. I've met my share of them online, too, and met plenty of guys with live-in girlfriends. Two things to consider, though: one, a lot of guys on dating websites like to play assholes when you specifically state you're NOT looking for something in your ad. If I were to say I don't want to meet any sports fans, I'd get contacted by a bunch of sports fans. No drug or alcohol abusers? I'd hear from a bunch of recreational drug using alcoholics. No married guys? Guess who chats you up. It's immature, but then these are the guys who thought it was funny to snap a girl's training bra straps when they were 13.
> 
> *And two, why the hell should you have to justify your contact with the guy to his wife?? I would have told the woman to go yell at her husband since he's the one who contacted you and lied about the fact that he's married, and then hung up on her. * You owe no explanations for your behavior to her. Her husband, however, owes her many.



If I were that poor man's wife, I would actually feel sorry for her. Putting myself in her shoes, I would appreciate another woman showing some compassion for the situation. Considering no woman I know wants to find herself in that place, I would have done the same as Jewels. Hanging up on her would be needlessly cruel.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

In confession... I have a small garden lizard in my apartment and it's really freaking me out. I have no idea how it got in here, and I have no idea how to catch it and get it out. I really don't want to touch it if I can help it. I know these little lizards mostly like to hide, and there are a lot of places for it to hide in my apartment. But I'm really freaked out about finding it in the bathtub some early morning when I'm taking a shower, or having it crawl over me while I'm in bed.

Based on info I've read online about trying to get rid of a small lizard in your apartment, most of them stay hidden and eventually die, only to be discovered later when you're vacuuming behind the couch. They're also good for eating bugs...and I must admit that I occasionally have the omnipresent California cockroach pay a visit to my apartment and it might be nice to have some help in getting rid of them.

Then again, I also have two cats in my apartment and as much as it might pique their interest to have some 'live bait,' so to speak, to chase around the house, I'd feel bad if they caught the lizard and killed it. I'm surprised they haven't noticed it yet, actually, but it just showed up this evening. I happened to notice it scooting across the floor to hide under my tv stand. I'm too afraid to try and get it out. It also might have found a different place to hide, under one of my bookcases next to my tv stand. I really don't want to tear apart my whole apartment to find one little lizard.

I know my girl kitty noticed the lizard when it was scooting to hide under the tv stand, but I think she was so surprised to see it in the house, she didn't know what to do. Given enough time, though, I'm sure my cats will figure out that it's a live plaything and will shortly be chasing it around the apartment. ...Provided it comes out of hiding.

Ach. I have no idea what to do. Let it fend for itself in my apartment, or try to get it out?


----------



## thirtiesgirl

littlefairywren said:


> If I were that poor man's wife, I would actually feel sorry for her. Putting myself in her shoes, I would appreciate another woman showing some compassion for the situation. Considering no woman I know wants to find herself in that place, I would have done the same as Jewels. Hanging up on her would be needlessly cruel.



What right does his wife have to call someone else and expect an explanation? If she thinks her husband is talking with another woman, she needs to talk to her husband, not call the other woman up and demand explanation. Her husband is the issue, not the clueless person he's talking with.


----------



## littlefairywren

thirtiesgirl said:


> What right does his wife have to call someone else and expect an explanation? If she thinks her husband is talking with another woman, she needs to talk to her husband, not call the other woman up and demand explanation. Her husband is the issue, not the clueless person he's talking with.



She may have no right at all. And the fact that Jewels had to deal with her is horrid. But I have the ability to see things from all angles, not just my own. I might even do the same thing myself if I were pushed, plus take on my shit of a husband for being a total dick (like the above dude). Maybe I am more empathetic than you, thirtiesgirl. I just don't see how treating someone badly when they are in distress would help the situation. If on the other hand, the wife was screaming at me like a banshee, I would deal with it another way. But that was not stated in the original post, so I am basing my comment on what I read.


----------



## jewels_mystery

thirtiesgirl said:


> What right does his wife have to call someone else and expect an explanation? If she thinks her husband is talking with another woman, she needs to talk to her husband, not call the other woman up and demand explanation. Her husband is the issue, not the clueless person he's talking with.



I really do not regret the way I handled the phone call. If I was his wife, I would call the other woman too. The husband is going to lie and the only way she is going to find out the truth would be via the other woman. The wife did not yell nor was she rude. If anything I felt bad for her. I heard kids in the background. She did seem to soften when I told her I did not know he was married. I am grateful she did call me. Otherwise I would have continue talking to him. If I was married and the other woman KNEW she was dating a married man, I would snatch both of them.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

littlefairywren said:


> She may have no right at all. And the fact that Jewels had to deal with her is horrid. But I have the ability to see things from all angles, not just my own. I might even do the same thing myself if I were pushed, plus take on my shit of a husband for being a total dick (like the above dude). Maybe I am more empathetic than you, thirtiesgirl. I just don't see how treating someone badly when they are in distress would help the situation. If on the other hand, the wife was screaming at me like a banshee, I would deal with it another way. But that was not stated in the original post, so I am basing my comment on what I read.





jewels_mystery said:


> I really do not regret the way I handled the phone call. If I was his wife, I would call the other woman too. The husband is going to lie and the only way she is going to find out the truth would be via the other woman. The wife did not yell nor was she rude. If anything I felt bad for her. I heard kids in the background. She did seem to soften when I told her I did not know he was married. I am grateful she did call me. Otherwise I would have continue talking to him. If I was married and the other woman KNEW she was dating a married man, I would snatch both of them.



Having been with a cheating partner in the past, I never would call the other person. The way I see it, if you _suspect_ your partner is cheating, you _know_, so what good does it do you to call the other person? I see no lack of empathy in telling a cheated on wife or girlfriend that you had no idea her partner was attached, but that you're not going to discuss the issue with her and she needs to talk to her partner about it. Those things can be said politely, without malice, and without prolonging the conversation. I think it's important to set boundaries and let the wife or girlfriend know that you're not available for future conversations. It's never happened to me, but I've seen it happen to friends one too many times, where the cheated-on wife or girlfriend continues to call back, rather than discussing the issue with her partner. Again, you owe her no explanations, since it was her partner who made the error in judgment, not you.


----------



## jewels_mystery

Punkin1024 said:


> IC that stress and lack of time is making me so tired. All I want to do when I get home is shower, put on some comfy jammies and hang out in front of the computer. I know this is counter productive, I should keep up with walking and eating healthy fare, but sometimes I feel a need to just chill and take in some comfort food.



Sometimes you need to just veg out. There is nothing wrong with that. {{hugs}}


----------



## Famouslastwords

Stacie,

I hope you get to feel the baby more and more as your pregnancy progresses. I think you are very lucky. I want a baby myself but it looks like it's never going to happen for me for many reasons. You'll be a good mama.


----------



## Ruffie

I confess that I am happy to be escaping from all my responsibilities tomorrow for a weekend away with my hubby. No taking care of the big kids, no work, no taking care of my mom, no furry beasts to feed and walk. Hubby is in a conference days so have them for shopping, museums, art galleries or just veg time and evenings for couple time. I have had my fill of doing so much for others of late and this weekend and then having time off next week from work hopefully will let me have some time just to be Ruth not all the roles others define for me! YAY


----------



## jewels_mystery

Ruffie said:


> I confess that I am happy to be escaping from all my responsibilities tomorrow for a weekend away with my hubby. No taking care of the big kids, no work, no taking care of my mom, no furry beasts to feed and walk. Hubby is in a conference days so have them for shopping, museums, art galleries or just veg time and evenings for couple time. I have had my fill of doing so much for others of late and this weekend and then having time off next week from work hopefully will let me have some time just to be Ruth not all the roles others define for me! YAY



Sounds like this is over due for you. yay. Have fun!!!


----------



## Candy_Coated_Clown

I confess that I've been struggling with acute feelings of loneliness for awhile now and I really want that to change. 

It must.


----------



## CastingPearls

I confess that my kitten Wonton (okay she's not a kitten anymore but she's cuddly and little) is getting fat. When she jumps off the bed, there's a thud which I kinda like. She's like a fuzzy little me. Everyone around me gets fatter. I think it's the water. <scratches head>


----------



## Lovelyone

thirtiesgirl said:


> Having been with a cheating partner in the past, I never would call the other person. The way I see it, if you _suspect_ your partner is cheating, you _know_, so what good does it do you to call the other person? I see no lack of empathy in telling a cheated on wife or girlfriend that you had no idea her partner was attached, but that you're not going to discuss the issue with her and she needs to talk to her partner about it. Those things can be said politely, without malice, and without prolonging the conversation. I think it's important to set boundaries and let the wife or girlfriend know that you're not available for future conversations. It's never happened to me, but I've seen it happen to friends one too many times, where the cheated-on wife or girlfriend continues to call back, rather than discussing the issue with her partner. Again, you owe her no explanations, since it was her partner who made the error in judgment, not you.


 
Being suspicious of someone and actually having proof that the cheating is being done are two totally different things. Suspicion doesn't mean KNOWING. I've been in the situation of being suspicious(and thinking that I knew for sure that he was cheating) but I was 100% completely wrong about it. He was not doing anything with anyone--he was taking dancing lessons. In that case, my suspicions were totally unfounded. 
I've been in the situation of having to talk to a live-in GF of a man who said he was single but showed interest in me. We'd gone out on a few dates, he said he was single--I didnt question it. It's an awkward situation at best...but had she not called me, I'm not sure that I would have found out what kind of person I had welcomed into my life. IMHO, she had the right to ask questions...and I had an obligation to tell her what I knew. We were civil to one another because we had several things in common. We both were duped by a man without scruples, we both shared a certain naivity about men, and we both wanted that person to love us and suffered the heartbreak of realizing that the person who we thought we could trust and love turned out to be a lying slimebag.


----------



## jewels_mystery

Candy_Coated_Clown said:


> I confess that I've been struggling with acute feelings of loneliness for awhile now and I really want that to change.
> 
> It must.





CastingPearls said:


> I confess that my kitten Wonton (okay she's not a kitten anymore but she's cuddly and little) is getting fat. When she jumps off the bed, there's a thud which I kinda like. She's like a fuzzy little me. Everyone around me gets fatter. I think it's the water. <scratches head>



Candy Coated Clown {{hugs}} I know how you feel

Casting Pearls ROFL


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Lovelyone said:


> Being suspicious of someone and actually having proof that the cheating is being done are two totally different things. Suspicion doesn't mean KNOWING. I've been in the situation of being suspicious(and thinking that I knew for sure that he was cheating) but I was 100% completely wrong about it. He was not doing anything with anyone--he was taking dancing lessons. In that case, my suspicions were totally unfounded.



Suspicion and paranoia are two different things.


----------



## Tania

CastingPearls said:


> I confess that my kitten Wonton (okay she's not a kitten anymore but she's cuddly and little) is getting fat. When she jumps off the bed, there's a thud which I kinda like. She's like a fuzzy little me. Everyone around me gets fatter. I think it's the water. <scratches head>



I *love* the name Wonton for pets. A business owner in downtown LA has a Shih-tzu also named Wonton, and I just about died of the cute when I learned it. 

Pets take on some traits of their owners, and vice versa!  Francine is fluffy and princessy and has a big butt, just like me! And Alice is cuddly and outgoing, like me.


----------



## Candy_Coated_Clown

jewels_mystery said:


> Candy Coated Clown {{hugs}} I know how you feel



Thanks, jewels_mystery  A day at a time...

In the meanwhile, I try to find ways to incorporate little, simple pleasures into my life...


----------



## Weeze

Punkin1024 said:


> IC that stress and lack of time is making me so tired. All I want to do when I get home is shower, put on some comfy jammies and hang out in front of the computer. I know this is counter productive, I should keep up with walking and eating healthy fare, but sometimes I feel a need to just chill and take in some comfort food.



Ella, I know *exactly* what you're talking about in this! I go to school and work two jobs, and it's really hard to like... stay going at the end of the night. Bed is toooo tempting! 
Stay strong, girlie!


----------



## CarlaSixx

Tania said:


> Pets take on some traits of their owners, and vice versa!



I agree, lol. My dog is super curious, will put anything in her mouth that she can find, is a total brat, and hates my father. Just like me, lol.


---------

IC I'm feeling a lil desperate lately, lol. Well... it doesn't help that this guy I was interested in decided not to meet up when he came through my area, and so it kind of upset me and now I'm just itching for any smidge of affection, even if it's totally fake.


----------



## littlefairywren

Candy_Coated_Clown said:


> I confess that I've been struggling with acute feelings of loneliness for awhile now and I really want that to change.
> 
> It must.



Hugs, CCC. Baby steps, and yes, take the time to be good to yourself.


----------



## Lovelyone

Well, I can honestly tell you that what I was feeling was suspicion and NOT paranoia. Its interesting that you think that you can make a distinction about it without knowing the full facts of the situation. That's very presumptuous of you. 



thirtiesgirl said:


> Suspicion and paranoia are two different things.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

Lovelyone said:


> Well, I can honestly tell you that what I was feeling was suspicion and NOT paranoia. Its interesting that you think that you can make a distinction about it without knowing the full facts of the situation. That's very presumptuous of you, but then again I wouldn't expect anything less from someone who quite obviously believes that she knows EVERYTHING.



I really don't. What I know is this: if you're paranoid that a guy is cheating on you simply because he's not coming home at the end of the day, that's not exactly healthy, nor a reason to think he's cheating. There are many reasons a guy might not come home on time. If all of them point to cheating in your mind, it shows a lack of confidence in yourself and your relationship.

If, on the other hand, the signs are there - he gets phone calls on his phone and closes the door to talk, or says "I have to go," and abruptly hangs up when you walk in the room; gets jumpy when you get near him when he's on the computer, quickly closing chat windows, or closing his computer altogether; starts paying more attention to how he's dressing, shaving more, wearing a new aftershave... _that_ leads to healthy suspicion that the guy is cheating. Having observed all those signs in my relationship with a cheater, my suspicions were well-founded and healthy, not based in a lack of confidence about my desirability. I had no need to confront the girl he'd cheated with. I simply confronted the guy with what I'd observed. He lied and said I was being paranoid and "seeing things that weren't there." I told him I didn't believe him, which was all that needed to be said. We were living together at the time, so I shortly moved out and stayed with my mom for a few months while I looked for a new apartment. He couldn't afford the rent on the place we shared, but through friends, I heard he'd tried to convince the girl he'd cheated with to move in with him, but once she realized he'd been living with a girlfriend while they were "starting their relationship," as she assumed, she left him high and dry.

It was a bad time in my life and I was hit pretty hard by his infidelity. Before the other girl left him, I even saw them around town together, which really hurt. But he got his just desserts in the end, and there was no need for me to contact the girl he cheated with. The explanations needed to come from _him_, not her. Of course I never got them from him and I had to learn to accept that, as hurtful as that was. Sometimes you're not always going to get what you want in life, no matter how much you might want it. It's a lesson all adults need to learn at some point in time.


----------



## lovelocs

30's- Lovely never did divulge all the facts about her situation with her guy. So you are still making assumptions based on what you think was happening. She never, from what I read, alluded to any of his behaviors, but simply stated that he had been taking dancing lessons in the end. 

Maybe he was late getting home. 
Maybe he he had unexplained charges on the credit card bill (you know, paying for dancing lessons). 
Maybe he was conducting phone or email business that she happened to overhear (you know, setting up lessons or changing lesson times). 

We don't know, because she didn't say. 

Not all of the hallmarks of cheating are easy to spot, especially if the man has a compliant partner or is experienced in lying or cheating.

I'm sorry you experienced infidelity. It's horrible, and can make a person physically ill. It just sounds like your way of healing and dealing with the situation is different from hers. It sounds like Lovely had a fruitful and important conversation with this person, and it helped her grow and move on and did no harm to the other party. Not sure how one can object to that...

On topic, IC that I'm tired of my car, which is unreliable as hell, and bleeding me dry one sensor at a time...


----------



## CastingPearls

I don't understand why one would need to invalidate or dismiss anyone else's 'truths', feelings, or experiences in order to extol the virtues of their own.


----------



## Donna

CastingPearls said:


> I don't understand why one would need to invalidate or dismiss anyone else's 'truths', feelings, or experiences in order to extol the virtues of their own.



I've read that it is a sign of serious self-esteem issues. Arrogance is more times interpreted not as over-confidence, but over-compensation.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

CastingPearls said:


> I don't understand why one would need to invalidate or dismiss anyone else's 'truths', feelings, or experiences in order to extol the virtues of their own.



I'm not invalidating or dismissing Lovely's feelings, Casting. What I'm doing is asking her to think about _why_ she assumed her guy was cheating simply because he was late coming home. I'm not saying she was wrong to feel how she feels. I've been there, too, assuming every guy I dated was a cheater simply because he didn't pick up the phone when I wanted to talk or didn't come home on time. I've found that way of thinking to be counterproductive and only hurt me more and caused more damage to the relationship. I had to learn my lesson the hard way a couple of times when the guys left because I wasn't able to trust them or trust that their feelings for me were real. Seeing the signs of _actual_ cheating is a bit different, though. I wasn't looking for it or expecting it. I'd worked through a lot of my trust issues in therapy. But I couldn't deny that the cheater's behavior was undeniably suspicious, even though I didn't want to believe it. That's a little different than expecting he's cheating simply because he doesn't come home on time or doesn't meet your expectations in some other way.


----------



## Lovelyone

thirtiesgirl said:


> I'm not invalidating or dismissing Lovely's feelings, Casting. What I'm doing is asking her to think about _why_ she assumed her guy was cheating simply because he was late coming home. I'm not saying she was wrong to feel how she feels. I've been there, too, assuming every guy I dated was a cheater simply because he didn't pick up the phone when I wanted to talk or didn't come home on time. I've found that way of thinking to be counterproductive and only hurt me more and caused more damage to the relationship. I had to learn my lesson the hard way a couple of times when the guys left because I wasn't able to trust them or trust that their feelings for me were real. Seeing the signs of _actual_ cheating is a bit different, though. I wasn't looking for it or expecting it. I'd worked through a lot of my trust issues in therapy. But I couldn't deny that the cheater's behavior was undeniably suspicious, even though I didn't want to believe it. That's a little different than expecting he's cheating simply because he doesn't come home on time or doesn't meet your expectations in some other way.


 
Wow, you REALLY DO read into a posting whatever you want to read into it. I never once said that I was assuming he was cheating on me because " he was simply a little late coming home". In fact--you inferred that from what I had written about him taking dance lessons. Just to be clear on things there were a lot of--as you say--"signs" that lead me to the belief that my guy was taking liberties with someone else. The end result being that he admitted he was taking dance lessons and didnt want to be judged by ANYONE on that...which is why he kept it secret, which in turn lead to SUSPICION. Lovelocs was right--I never alluded to what the reason behind my SUSPICION was--just that there WAS suspicion (which is by definition: the act of suspecting; or the vague notion of anything to be the case or to be likely). I never said that I was paranoid about his cheating. I never said that I was sitting in my house wringing my hands, worried and trying to figure out where he was at every minute of the day...and wondering who he was having sex with, or giving his quality time to. I only said that I suspectied that there was a possibility..or a vague notion that this could be the case.


----------



## Surlysomething

Isn't this supposed to be a warm, accepting area of Dims?


I confess that I hate personality conflicts spreading to every thread on this site.


----------



## lovelocs

1. I don't know how much more accepting this area is than any other area of Dimensions. I've seen my share of catfighting everywhere here.

2. I don't like conflict, but from time to time it becomes necessary to either defend one's self, or point out obvious flaws in another member's logic, or demeanor. Not doing so can be more damaging to the site than a confrontation.


----------



## littlefairywren

Surlysomething said:


> Isn't this supposed to be a warm, accepting area of Dims?
> 
> 
> *I confess that I hate personality conflicts spreading to every thread on this site.*



I agree, but it's usually the same suspect/s.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

lovelocs said:


> 1. I don't know how much more accepting this area is than any other area of Dimensions. I've seen my share of catfighting everywhere here.
> 
> 2. I don't like conflict, but from time to time it becomes necessary to either defend one's self, or point out obvious flaws in another member's logic, or demeanor. Not doing so can be more damaging to the site than a confrontation.



For the record, I think Surly's post was directed at me, not Lovely. I'm the one it's ok to discredit or slam any post I write.


----------



## EvilPrincess

This issue is closed. If you find a post that is objectionable or against the forum guidelines, then report it. 

Your cooperation is appreciated. 

EvilPrincess Moderator.


----------



## CastingPearls

I confess that when I don't get what I need out of a relationship that I doubt myself and think I'm not good enough and not worth the trouble.


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I sometimes really hate how heavy I am *only because* I can't wear heels comfortably. Or pretty much at all for that matter... What good is a drag queen when she isn't wearing heels?!


----------



## Donna

CarlaSixx said:


> IC I sometimes really hate how heavy I am *only because* I can't wear heels comfortably. Or pretty much at all for that matter... What good is a drag queen when she isn't wearing heels?!



Not even platforms?


----------



## CastingPearls

Donna said:


> Not even platforms?


I can't do heels or platforms either.


----------



## CarlaSixx

Donna said:


> Not even platforms?



I walk flat footed in platforms, so that doesn't work, and they aren't even as cute.


----------



## Tania

Heels and I don't really get along, but I force myself into them anyway. Sofft engineers their shoes well enough that I don't kill myself, and their strappy heels are particularly adaptable (I shocked myself by actually LIKING my 3.5 inch Cally sandals...I guess they WOULD fit, given the name, ha!). 

Pumps, however, are the devil. No matter how heavy I am or am not, nor how big or small my feet get, they're just a bitch. I have wide balls (haha) and narrow heels, which means I'm usually buying regular widths for the backs of my feet and getting the toeboxes punched out to accommodate my stupid reverse-bunions. Still, even with those skid petal things, silicone heel grippers, and shoes in the right size, the fronts of my feet go slamming into the toebox and the pumps flop off my heels. Seriously, just THINKING about it makes me want to stab some shoes right now. 

LOL.


----------



## jewels_mystery

I gave up heels years ago. Which sucks because I love them!!! Damn these bad knees


----------



## Lovelyone

littlefairywren said:


> I agree, but it's usually the same suspect/s.


 
Sorry.

Ic that I was greedy and didn't want to share my teddy grahams with 3 little girls today. I gave in. It's hard to pass up a smiling 3 1/3 year old saying "Pweaaaaaaaaaase? Can I have some of your Teddy bear cookies things?"


----------



## Candy_Coated_Clown

littlefairywren said:


> Hugs, CCC. Baby steps, and yes, take the time to be good to yourself.



Thanks for the encouragement, littlefairywren. *hug*


----------



## jewels_mystery

IC that I could really go for some girl scout cookies right now. Trefoils :eat2:


----------



## Surlysomething

thirtiesgirl said:


> For the record, I think Surly's post was directed at me, not Lovely. I'm the one it's ok to discredit or slam any post I write.


 
It was a general statement. 

I would have quoted you if I was specifying. But i'm thankful the mod got on it and we're back on track.


----------



## Weeze

IC that I think that new show Mike and Molly is actually helping my mother feel good about herself. The evening after she watches it, she's a completely different, more confident person, and it's really great to see... even if it's coming from a corny tv show


----------



## thatgirl08

IC that I'm absolutely exhausted mentally and physically. I'm grateful for my new (second) job but eight days with no day off has left me tired and irritated. It was supposed to be 11 days with no day off but I had to call in sick today.. which leads me to my second confession. I also C that I hatehatehatehatehate PCOS and how it messes with my period .. I hate that I feel so achey and weak and that I'm bleeding and leaking everywhere.. I hate that I only made it 9 hours yesterday at my new job before I finally had to leave because I really felt like I was going to pass out.. I hate that I had to leave my coworkers without an extra person when there was still a good 2 hours work left to do.. and I hate that I had to call in today when it's only my second week.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

thatgirl08 said:


> IC that I'm absolutely exhausted mentally and physically. I'm grateful for my new (second) job but eight days with no day off has left me tired and irritated. It was supposed to be 11 days with no day off but I had to call in sick today.. which leads me to my second confession. I also C that I hatehatehatehatehate PCOS and how it messes with my period .. I hate that I feel so achey and weak and that I'm bleeding and leaking everywhere.. I hate that I only made it 9 hours yesterday at my new job before I finally had to leave because I really felt like I was going to pass out.. I hate that I had to leave my coworkers without an extra person when there was still a good 2 hours work left to do.. and I hate that I had to call in today when it's only my second week.



(((hugs))) I hope you're able to get some rest.


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I'm really afraid of going to the movie theatre and not fitting in the seats  I wanna go see HP7 part1 sooooo bad but I want to be able to watch it without hurting. Sometimes I wish I was more an apple than a pear


----------



## Tracy

IC that the new guy in my life is driving me crazy insane with his huge body....he must weigh at least 400lbs + and all I can think about is exploring every inch of his body! :eat2::blush:


----------



## lozonloz

IC that I feel useless for taking so much time off Uni after my Dad died that I dont know if I can catch up.


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

lozonloz said:


> IC that I feel useless for taking so much time off Uni after my Dad died that I dont know if I can catch up.



I'm so sorry for your loss. Have you spoken with your professors and/or your adviser? They might be able to offer some advice or assistance.


----------



## Surlysomething

thatgirl08 said:


> IC that I'm absolutely exhausted mentally and physically. I'm grateful for my new (second) job but eight days with no day off has left me tired and irritated. It was supposed to be 11 days with no day off but I had to call in sick today.. which leads me to my second confession. I also C that I hatehatehatehatehate PCOS and how it messes with my period .. I hate that I feel so achey and weak and that I'm bleeding and leaking everywhere.. I hate that I only made it 9 hours yesterday at my new job before I finally had to leave because I really felt like I was going to pass out.. I hate that I had to leave my coworkers without an extra person when there was still a good 2 hours work left to do.. and I hate that I had to call in today when it's only my second week.


 

Have you talked to your Dr? Maybe you need to take Iron or something like that to give you more pep in your step.

Feel better, kiddo.


----------



## jewels_mystery

thatgirl08 said:


> IC that I'm absolutely exhausted mentally and physically. I'm grateful for my new (second) job but eight days with no day off has left me tired and irritated. It was supposed to be 11 days with no day off but I had to call in sick today.. which leads me to my second confession. I also C that I hatehatehatehatehate PCOS and how it messes with my period .. I hate that I feel so achey and weak and that I'm bleeding and leaking everywhere.. I hate that I only made it 9 hours yesterday at my new job before I finally had to leave because I really felt like I was going to pass out.. I hate that I had to leave my coworkers without an extra person when there was still a good 2 hours work left to do.. and I hate that I had to call in today when it's only my second week.



I am so sorry honey. {{hugs}}. I hope you feel better tomorrow.


----------



## jewels_mystery

CarlaSixx said:


> IC I'm really afraid of going to the movie theatre and not fitting in the seats  I wanna go see HP7 part1 sooooo bad but I want to be able to watch it without hurting. Sometimes I wish I was more an apple than a pear



I have that problem too. Do you have a theater that has stadium seating in your area? 



Tracy said:


> IC that the new guy in my life is driving me crazy insane with his huge body....he must weigh at least 400lbs + and all I can think about is exploring every inch of his body! :eat2::blush:



Sounds Yummy


----------



## littlefairywren

thatgirl08 said:


> IC that I'm absolutely exhausted mentally and physically. I'm grateful for my new (second) job but eight days with no day off has left me tired and irritated. It was supposed to be 11 days with no day off but I had to call in sick today.. which leads me to my second confession. I also C that I hatehatehatehatehate PCOS and how it messes with my period .. I hate that I feel so achey and weak and that I'm bleeding and leaking everywhere.. I hate that I only made it 9 hours yesterday at my new job before I finally had to leave because I really felt like I was going to pass out.. I hate that I had to leave my coworkers without an extra person when there was still a good 2 hours work left to do.. and I hate that I had to call in today when it's only my second week.



Soft (((hugs))), baby girl. I like Surly's suggestion, you may want to get your iron levels checked.


----------



## thatgirl08

Yeah, I'm definitely going to ask my doctor about taking iron pills. Under normal circumstances my levels are fine but I'm losing so much blood right now that I'm sure my iron is low. Every time I try to talk to her about PCOS she tells me I have to take birth control.. she like refuses to talk about any other ways of managing it and I'm just really nervous about the potential side effects of BC. I feel a little better tonight though.. apparently my new job is pissed at me (says my friend who got me the job) so I have to go in for sure tomorrow whether I feel good or not.. hoping I'll feel a lot better tomorrow morning


----------



## Sweet Tooth

CarlaSixx said:


> IC I'm really afraid of going to the movie theatre and not fitting in the seats  I wanna go see HP7 part1 sooooo bad but I want to be able to watch it without hurting. Sometimes I wish I was more an apple than a pear



I wish you could come to Detroit to go with us! My plus size staff member and her plus size daughter are both going with me at midnight. [I'll understand if my staffer is sleepy the next day at work, as I will be too.] We have a theater with seats where the armrests raise. Are there any where you are?


----------



## JerseyGirl07093

In keeping with the 'confession' part of this thread...
IC that if it weren't for stadium seating I probably wouldn't be able to go to the movies at all. 
Don't be shy about calling a theater and seeing if they have stadium seating. Or, as I asked the last theater I called "Do you have the seats with the arms that go up?"  My friend gets free movies on Tuesdays with one of her credit cards and I wanted to make sure I could fit in the seat or else there was no use in me even going. Luckily they did have seats with the arms that go up and hopefully this will lead to more free movies for me!


----------



## CarlaSixx

Sweet Tooth said:


> I wish you could come to Detroit to go with us! My plus size staff member and her plus size daughter are both going with me at midnight. [I'll understand if my staffer is sleepy the next day at work, as I will be too.] We have a theater with seats where the armrests raise. Are there any where you are?



Sadly there's only 2 movie theatres in my city, and only one is playing HP7, and not even doing the midnight showing! 

They are stadium seating (I'm guessing) but the arms don't go up. The seats flip but there's a solid black plastic armrest with a cupholder on it. There's designated sections that are supposed to be for wheelchairs, too, but I don't think I'd be allowed to sit on the floor where the wheelchairs go to watch the movie, though that would TOTALLY fix my problem.

Unfortunately I don't have any friends in my city anymore, so I will be headed there alone. My father has severe claustrophobia so he can't sit in the theatre in the dark, and my mother can't sit for long than about an hour or two.

She's actually getting a heavy duty wheeled walker sometime this week or the next, and I was thinking of borrowing it if she got it in time. It holds 450 lbs, so it'll hold me with absolutely no problem, and the cushion on the seat is very nice and squishy. So perhaps I'll be able to get that, though I'll look weird being a 21 year old walking in with a walker and not even needing to use it for anything but to sit comfortably. At least the cinema won't be losing any money, but sheesh... I'm willing to sit on the frikkin floor to see the damn movie!

The last time I went was when Couples Retreat was out, and I'm pretty sure I was smaller than I am right now, and the armrests dug into my thighs and hips so bad that I was crying from the pain, and getting up to leave took about 10 minutes  So I'm pretty sure this time will hurt if I even attempt it.


----------



## Lovelyone

I confess that I am a little terrified of trying to get what I want most, because it will mean leaving behind what I am most comfortable with and beginning new in a place where I don't know anyone.


----------



## Vespertine

CarlaSixx said:


> The last time I went was when Couples Retreat was out, and I'm pretty sure I was smaller than I am right now, and the armrests dug into my thighs and hips so bad that I was crying from the pain, and getting up to leave took about 10 minutes  So I'm pretty sure this time will hurt if I even attempt it.



Ugh horrible, I feel your pain. Well, I have felt it xP farrr too many times. I'm also looking at the prospect of going to the one theatre in town to see HP<3! I wish we could apparate to some location with comfy seating. Why can't humans do this yet??? Good luck with your ideas for solutions, it sucks we have to deal with this. I never ever want to sit in a chair so painful I cry again, it shouldn't happen to anyone....

IC that I'm insanely attracted to someone in class and it is effecting my work negatively, as I'm having a lot of trouble concentrating. I found out he's not available and usually that kills any feelings that were stirred but not this time around. I generally find casual sex about as enticing as the rash I fear I'd get but this is special circumstances. I'm a hair away from telling him to meet me in an alley by the railway station, and my scruples can go find someone else to inhibit. Make it stoppppp.... In any case even if wanting someone I can't have is driving me mad (or toward lower scholastic achievement at least :doh there is some joy in knowing that my switches can be flipped like this (it's been idk how many years), that feels pretty great at the moment and has put a bounce in my step. Well, I'm trying to focus on the positive here 

Yes, that was a lot of Morrissey references.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Vespertine said:


> IC that I'm insanely attracted to someone in class and it is effecting my work negatively, as I'm having a lot of trouble concentrating. I found out he's not available and usually that kills any feelings that were stirred but not this time around. I generally find casual sex about as enticing as the rash I fear I'd get but this is special circumstances. I'm a hair away from telling him to meet me in an alley by the railway station, and my scruples can go find someone else to inhibit. Make it stoppppp.... In any case even if wanting someone I can't have is driving me mad (or toward lower scholastic achievement at least :doh there is some joy in knowing that my switches can be flipped like this (it's been idk how many years), that feels pretty great at the moment and has put a bounce in my step. Well, I'm trying to focus on the positive here
> 
> Yes, that was a lot of Morrissey references.



Ohhhhhhh yes. I know that feeling. Happy for the bounce in your step (seriously, realizing you still got it in ya is a super thing! rock it!) - but bummer about the unavailability and schoolwork distraction. How well do you know this guy?

When I had these feelings recently, and they were also affecting my schoolwork, I stumbled upon the guy's myspace music page (where he puts up his recorded work). (And okay, stumbled upon is totally a lie, I was searching the interwebz for him.) And I really didn't like the music. Found it awful. That pretty much killed the attraction for me. So that's my advice, get to know him, find out where he uploads his awful art, and that will help destroy the chemistry.


----------



## gobettiepurple

mcbeth said:


> Ohhhhhhh yes. I know that feeling. Happy for the bounce in your step (seriously, realizing you still got it in ya is a super thing! rock it!) - but bummer about the unavailability and schoolwork distraction. How well do you know this guy?
> 
> When I had these feelings recently, and they were also affecting my schoolwork, I stumbled upon the guy's myspace music page (where he puts up his recorded work). (And okay, stumbled upon is totally a lie, I was searching the interwebz for him.) And I really didn't like the music. Found it awful. That pretty much killed the attraction for me. So that's my advice, get to know him, find out where he uploads his awful art, and that will help destroy the chemistry.



I agree . . . a little internet ingenuity and facebook stalking never hurt anybody  lol


----------



## Punkin1024

Lovelyone said:


> I confess that I am a little terrified of trying to get what I want most, because it will mean leaving behind what I am most comfortable with and beginning new in a place where I don't know anyone.



I understand where you're at, been there before and I have regrets for not being a risk taker. What you need to decide is if what you want most is worth getting out of your comfort zone,and will what you want most leave you with regrets if you don't give it a try?


----------



## CastingPearls

Lovelyone said:


> I confess that I am a little terrified of trying to get what I want most, because it will mean leaving behind what I am most comfortable with and beginning new in a place where I don't know anyone.


I know the feeling, T. I do but I'm taking baby steps and reaching for my dreams anyway even if I toddle and stumble when I do it. We only get one life. I don't even know where I'm going but I'm headed in the right direction. Take one step and be encouraged. You're an amazing beautiful person.


----------



## gobettiepurple

I confess that during my online dating escapades . . . I met a guy who told me that he wasn't looking for an "overly intelligent, self-aware, confident girl" . . . I can't help it if I am honest and call all the a-holes out on their BS! So, you want me to be spank-bank fodder for your nightly rituals? I am sorry, but I am worth so much more than that. I thought being intelligent, self-aware and confident was a GOOD THING!

I don't get men, they are sort of disgusting to me right now, perhaps because I keep meeting these tools that don't know that women don't like to be objectified and talk to in such a derogatory way! 

I also confess that sometimes I wish I was born in the 1930s, because then I wouldn't have to put up with this stuff! Or I could have grown up in the 40s and 50s, where courting actual meant something other than "lets have a coffee and talk about all the ways I'm going to" VIOLATE YOUR DIGNITY! The internet sucks! . . . ugh.

WTF! This guy is totally not worth my time and a total tool . . . I don't get what part of "NOT LOOKING FOR A HOOK UP" don't people understand! FRUSTRATED!


----------



## MizzSnakeBite

gobettiepurple said:


> I confess that during my online dating escapades . . . I met a guy who told me that he wasn't looking for an "overly intelligent, self-aware, confident girl" . . . I can't help it if I am honest and call all the a-holes out on their BS! So, you want me to be spank-bank fodder for your nightly rituals? I am sorry, but I am worth so much more than that. I thought being intelligent, self-aware and confident was a GOOD THING!
> 
> I don't get men, they are sort of disgusting to me right now, perhaps because I keep meeting these tools that don't know that women don't like to be objectified and talk to in such a derogatory way!
> 
> I also confess that sometimes I wish I was born in the 1930s, because then I wouldn't have to put up with this stuff! Or I could have grown up in the 40s and 50s, where courting actual meant something other than "lets have a coffee and talk about all the ways I'm going to" VIOLATE YOUR DIGNITY! The internet sucks! . . . ugh.
> 
> WTF! This guy is totally not worth my time and a total tool . . . I don't get what part of "NOT LOOKING FOR A HOOK UP" don't people understand! FRUSTRATED!



Eh, just tell him, that's ok, I'm not looking for a douche.

I know how it is....so many guys wanting to "try out a SS/BBW;" like I'm a fucking car. And I'm supposed to be flattered by that. You know, I'm sure there were plenty of tools back in the day, just ask your grandma. Never mind, scratch that thought. Our parents and grandparents never had sex, so what would they know!


----------



## jewels_mystery

gobettiepurple said:


> I confess that during my online dating escapades . . . I met a guy who told me that he wasn't looking for an "overly intelligent, self-aware, confident girl" . . . I can't help it if I am honest and call all the a-holes out on their BS! So, you want me to be spank-bank fodder for your nightly rituals? I am sorry, but I am worth so much more than that. I thought being intelligent, self-aware and confident was a GOOD THING!
> 
> I don't get men, they are sort of disgusting to me right now, perhaps because I keep meeting these tools that don't know that women don't like to be objectified and talk to in such a derogatory way!
> 
> I also confess that sometimes I wish I was born in the 1930s, because then I wouldn't have to put up with this stuff! Or I could have grown up in the 40s and 50s, where courting actual meant something other than "lets have a coffee and talk about all the ways I'm going to" VIOLATE YOUR DIGNITY! The internet sucks! . . . ugh.
> 
> WTF! This guy is totally not worth my time and a total tool . . . I don't get what part of "NOT LOOKING FOR A HOOK UP" don't people understand! FRUSTRATED!



I so know how your feeling.


----------



## Candy_Coated_Clown

I need to learn to relax more in life. I am realizing that when I approach most things in my life with a perfectionist streak, out of a long-term habit, things wind up easily turning into little crises on a daily basis or often. I've got to stop doing this to myself and take more things in stride and learn to embrace the natural chaos present in living. 

Coping skills version 5.0. Definitely a work in progress...


----------



## CarlaSixx

Mom's new wheeled walker came in yesterday and it's freaking amazing. I kept sitting on it all night trying it out. It's freaking tall... I have to not only get on tip toes to hoist myself on the seat, but I've gotta jump a little to get a boost, too. But the padding on it is wonderful and I think it's awesome. It's one hell of a monster walker, though. It's HUUUUGE. It barely fits through our apartment! But it works  I don't think mom's enjoying walking with one... it's quite a difference from a stationery walker to a wheeled one, but I'm liking it. 

I already talked to her about using it to go watch the movie and she's perfectly fine with that. She'll be calling the theatre on Saturday to check if it's alright if I go in and sit on the walker instead of the chairs, since there's at least 1 wheelchair section in every room, and some even have 2! And each wheelchair section is about 8 normal seats wide, so around 4 wheelchairs can go there. Mom's walker should be just fine. 

If anything, we'll ask my father to drive her there, and I'll walk to the movie theatre, and once inside, I'll get to sit on the walker for the whole movie, lol. Or at least most of it. Since it's so long, mom's gonna need to get to the washroom right after or during the movie.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

IC that the daylight saving change making it get dark so early is tripping me out a bit still :blink:


----------



## Jes

i used to think i loved my boyfriend. now i know i love mint oreos.

MMMmmm.

(but he's pretty dreamy, too!)


----------



## aocutiepi

Jes said:


> i used to think i loved my boyfriend. now i know i love mint oreos.
> 
> MMMmmm.
> 
> (but he's pretty dreamy, too!)




Mint oreos are kind of magical.


----------



## nettie

IC I'm going on my first date since the divorce and am so nervous I could toss all my cookies. I mean, it's been thirteen years since I last did this sort of thing.


----------



## aocutiepi

IC that it has been forever since I posted on the boards because school is killing me. I am trying to get through this next chunk of school quickly, but Calculus, Chemistry, and Anatomy is a lot in one semester, even for a classic overachiever like me. Managing good grades but losing my sanity doing it. :blink:

IC that I've still been lurking from time to time and still love reading all of the interesting things you all confess... and even if I don't respond, love seeing your joys and hate seeing your disappointments. 

IC that I am having lunch with this guy I've been crushing on forever on Friday and I'm pretty excited/nervous. Thinking about admitting said crush, but still trying to work up the courage. IC that I'm terrible at love. I've never been in a relationship with someone I was attracted to... and no one I'm attracted to is ever attracted to me. So that's holding me back a little. Because in the back of my mind, I know I'm always going to be in the friend zone.

Glad to be back, if only for a moment.


----------



## mszwebs

I want to go out tonight. My boobs look amazing in this shirt.

And no, Beej (or anyone else), I am not posting pics lol


----------



## aocutiepi

nettie said:


> IC I'm going on my first date since the divorce and am so nervous I could toss all my cookies. I mean, it's been thirteen years since I last did this sort of thing.




Good luck Nettie!


----------



## LovelyLiz

nettie said:


> IC I'm going on my first date since the divorce and am so nervous I could toss all my cookies. I mean, it's been thirteen years since I last did this sort of thing.



Go YOU for putting yourself out there!!!!! :bow::bow::bow: Let us know how it goes!


----------



## littlefairywren

nettie said:


> IC I'm going on my first date since the divorce and am so nervous I could toss all my cookies. I mean, it's been thirteen years since I last did this sort of thing.



Oh nettie, I am sending you a pile of positive vibes and very best wishes for a good time


----------



## Mishty

IC I'm really enjoying harmless flirting. I used to be almost useless with men, but lately I've been ballsy and openly flirtatious with a few, the results have been pleasing. 

To Be Continued.......


----------



## Tania

aocutiepi said:


> IC that...



Alpha Omicron Pi? Sigma '93. 

/nonsequitur


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Mishty said:


> IC I'm really enjoying harmless flirting. I used to be almost useless with men, but lately I've been ballsy and openly flirtatious with a few, the results have been pleasing.
> 
> To Be Continued.......




You know, I've actually been doing the same lately with a couple of new guys and its kinda fun! I thought I had forgotten how but it's like riding a bike, just get on and go!


----------



## jewels_mystery

nettie said:


> IC I'm going on my first date since the divorce and am so nervous I could toss all my cookies. I mean, it's been thirteen years since I last did this sort of thing.



Have fun on your date.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

BBW4Chattery said:


> I confess that I've never seen The Notebook... and probably won't ever see it... because I don't want to cry.
> 
> Hope you are feeling better by now.





calauria said:


> I C that I've never watched The Notebook, either. I really don't like romance movies. They are so cheesy and so not the reality for a majority of people. I kinda think they make us believe in things that don't exist or am I just being pessimistic?



I'm not a big fan of "chick flicks," especially when written and directed by men, so I didn't get in line to see The Notebook when it was in theaters. A few years after it was released, I'd read a lot of positive things online about the movie and was curious to see how Nick Cassavetes, the son of controversial director John Cassavetes, would direct Ryan Gosling, who I think is a damn good actor. So I caught the movie on tv one afternoon when I was home sick from work. As expected, I found the story to be falsely sentimental, not believable or moving in the least. Gosling did a good job, but I didn't shed a tear. My opinion about "chick flicks" has remained unchanged.


----------



## CarlaSixx

thirtiesgirl said:


> Ryan Gosling, who I think is a damn good actor.



...And who grew up in my city  lol. 
Sorry... I had to :happy: My mother taught someone in his family (I think a cousin, if not sister, not sure) and as I was just a lil kid, every time I would spend the day at my mom's school while she was teaching, that family member would tell me about him. That's probably what convinced me from wanting to be a vet to wanting to become a famous actor 

As for an opinion on chick flicks... well... I lay it out to guys that I hate chick flicks and it seems that's something they don't like in girls  

----------

Mishty, can you teach me how to flirt? I'm told I sometimes do it, but I can't tell... and I think I'd like to try _really _doing it but I don't know any of that stuff. The tomboy in me doesn't know how, lol.


----------



## nettie

Thanks for all the good vibes, everyone! I'm so glad I decided to share it here, as you all are a great bunch of confidence boosters.

Yes, I survived the date without tossing a single cookie. I had a fabulous time, heard some really great blues (they even did some old-school accoustic blues from the 20's), and hung out afterwards talking over some wine. He was a total gentleman, and I'd forgotten what it's like to have someone of the single male persuasion genuinely interested in getting to know me. Have to admit, though, that when he said the word "attractive" in reference to me, I almost lost it. Very, very sweet man. No romantic chemistry, but I do believe I've made a new friend. Plus, he likes opera and has agreed to be my "opera buddy" for a few performances this year.

I was so afraid I'd do something really awkward, which if you know me in person can be one of my most endearing qualities or most annoying depending on your perspective, like spill something on my sweater or blurt out some stupid comment. But, I arrived for the date looking and smelling good, was charming and relaxed, and held up quite well. When the evening was over, he walked me to my car (and how old school romantic - he made sure he walked street side at all times) arm in arm. And then ... then ... we were less than 100 feet from my car when suddenly ..... I was on the ground, legs akimbo, a look of shock and total embarrassment on my face. I don't know if it was his movement, mine, or the curbs, but I fell smack on my right knee and then my azz.

We both laughed it off, but I was mortified. Clearly I cannot escape being ME for even one night.

*sigh*


----------



## Punkin1024

I had one of those dreams this morning that was a mishmash of so many things, but it did make me realize that work, food and clothes have been on my mind a lot lately. IC that I need chocolate, not to worry if I gain weight and can't fit in to my new clothes and not to take work too seriously.


----------



## DearPrudence

I confess that I've been in a total funk. Since I lost my job, I've pretty much been a bum. I need direction. Please, direct me.


----------



## AuntHen

IC that my mind is going over things and going over things, trying to figure out what doesn't make sense and what does...


----------



## CarlaSixx

I got to a party at 9:30, left at 7 in the morning, and had a blast


----------



## Jes

Was awakened at 3 am for a major OK Corral-type shoot out! I think every cop car in the city was there, and man, it was loud. Shots exchanged by both sides and what's creepy is that I heard the perps speed by in their car more than once before the cops got there. 

It even scared the cat, poor girl.

oooh, ETA: apparently 1 suspect was shot and killed. Dang. It was a carjacking. What a bunch of morons. Have you ever seen a used car that you wanted to own so bad that you'd be willing to give up your life for about 15 minutes of riding-around time? Really? Take the boss, motherfucker! It may smell like pee, but you (probably) won't get killed!!


----------



## NativeBeauty

I confess that I had a rough weekend. I don't go out to the clubs often, but this weekend my friend asked me to go out, so I decided to go just to have fun and dance and forget about the stress of school. We had a wonderful time, UNTILL a drunk immature guy decides to completely ruin our night, he felt it was necessary to look me directly in the face and call me a fat, ugly nobody and my friend a fat redhead. That's all it took, to completely ruin everything  I am usually a confident person, but in the past year I've gained quite a bit of weight so I have been struggling to accept myself, all over again. So, usually a remark like that I would dismiss it and move on with my life, but this completely ate away at me all weekend. No wonder I have anxiety about going places, it's because I feel everyone is judging me and obviously they are. Thank goodness I have a wonderful boyfriend who came to pick me up and and stayed up with me while I cried & cried, the whole time telling me i'm beautiful. What would I do without this man..


So glad to vent about this, & you girls being fellow bbws. I'm sure you have been in similar situations and understand. My goodness, I love dims


----------



## DearPrudence

NativeBeauty said:


> UNTILL a drunk immature guy decides to completely ruin our night, he felt it was necessary to look me directly in the face and call me a fat, ugly nobody and my friend a fat redhead. That's all it took, to completely ruin everything  )




Ugggh, I am SO sorry to hear about that! Isn't it crazy how one person, whom you don't even know, can totally ruin a great thing? But yeah, I think it's that sort of thing that keeps me from bothering with bars and clubs. I'm not really into that scene anyway; too loud and I'm not really much of a drinker.

Anyway, you should have kicked him in the nuts.


----------



## jewels_mystery

NativeBeauty said:


> I confess that I had a rough weekend. I don't go out to the clubs often, but this weekend my friend asked me to go out, so I decided to go just to have fun and dance and forget about the stress of school. We had a wonderful time, UNTILL a drunk immature guy decides to completely ruin our night, he felt it was necessary to look me directly in the face and call me a fat, ugly nobody and my friend a fat redhead. That's all it took, to completely ruin everything  I am usually a confident person, but in the past year I've gained quite a bit of weight so I have been struggling to accept myself, all over again. So, usually a remark like that I would dismiss it and move on with my life, but this completely ate away at me all weekend. No wonder I have anxiety about going places, it's because I feel everyone is judging me and obviously they are. Thank goodness I have a wonderful boyfriend who came to pick me up and and stayed up with me while I cried & cried, the whole time telling me i'm beautiful. What would I do without this man..
> 
> 
> So glad to vent about this, & you girls being fellow bbws. I'm sure you have been in similar situations and understand. My goodness, I love dims



Darling I am so sorry you had to run into an asshole. What a piece of crap. Karma will get him back. You are a beautiful woman. Do not give him the satisfaction of creating doubt in your head.


----------



## littlefairywren

fat9276 said:


> IC that my mind is going over things and going over things, trying to figure out what doesn't make sense and what does...



Hugs for you, my sweet B. I hope things become clearer for you soon. There's nothing worse than looking for answers and not knowing where to start.


----------



## Tania

IC that this town is slowly...fucking...killing me.


----------



## thirtiesgirl

I took my kitties to the vet this morning because they both need a bath. Now I'm home in my kitty-less apartment and I don't know what to do with myself without them around. I'll pick them up later this afternoon, but I'm having a bit of 'empty nest syndrome' at the moment without my kitties.


----------



## fat_elf

edited for content BBW Forum


----------



## Vespertine

mcbeth said:


> Ohhhhhhh yes. I know that feeling. Happy for the bounce in your step (seriously, realizing you still got it in ya is a super thing! rock it!) - but bummer about the unavailability and schoolwork distraction. How well do you know this guy?



Not well at all less than a semester. Even lately he said something I would've just discounted another guy for. What's that about eh! I hope he says something horribly misogynistic or something soon sheesh.



> So that's my advice, get to know him, find out where he uploads his awful art, and that will help destroy the chemistry.



IC I giggled maniacally about this for the better part of a week lol. I was hoping to report back but i have not yet found zee awful art! However I'm thinking of hiding mine better :doh:


----------



## blueeyedevie

Confessing,what you spend a lot of time wishing for, isn't exactly what makes you happy at the end of the day...


----------



## NativeBeauty

DearPrudence said:


> Ugggh, I am SO sorry to hear about that! Isn't it crazy how one person, whom you don't even know, can totally ruin a great thing? But yeah, I think it's that sort of thing that keeps me from bothering with bars and clubs. I'm not really into that scene anyway; too loud and I'm not really much of a drinker.
> 
> Anyway, you should have kicked him in the nuts.




Oh trust me, I really felt like kicking him in the nuts lol He deserved it that's for sure  I am not usually into the club scene either, probably even less now due to this incident. Some people just so mean, it's like the same thing people pull on me, "your fat".. it's like they have nothing else to say but point out the obvious. lol Thankfully I am not as bothered as I was about the whole situation


----------



## CarlaSixx

I wish my weight wasn't such an obstacle when it comes to taking the city bus


----------



## NativeBeauty

jewels_mystery said:


> Darling I am so sorry you had to run into an asshole. What a piece of crap. Karma will get him back. You are a beautiful woman. Do not give him the satisfaction of creating doubt in your head.



Thank you for the kind words, they mean a lot!  I really hope Karma gets him and makes him feel like he made me feel lol I feel like i've moved on since the situation, realizing he is an idiot and his opinion doesn't matter!!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I have not been in here in forever but thought I would pop in and wish y'all a very Happy Thanksgiving !!!


----------



## spiritangel

IC I do not see the need to put others down to make oneself feel better, superior or whatever or the need to psychoanalyse other peoples posts or get preachy all the time hmmm but mayby that is me and after all its the christmas season isnt time for a little dimms peace on earth goodwill towards fellow man stuff?


----------



## littlefairywren

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC I have not been in here in forever but thought I would pop in and wish y'all a very Happy Thanksgiving !!!



Squeeee! I miss you, lovely lady. Have a Happy Thanksgiving, Bubble, you and your family


----------



## CarlaSixx

Tonight was my movie night. Finally. The moment I walked in I started dreading the pain of sitting, hoping there wasn't much a crowd so I could avoid sitting until the movie started. I pulled the seat down and grimaced as I turned around and slowly lowered myself to sit, getting mentally prepared for embarassment and heartbreak....... And it didn't happen!

I was not only able to sit without hurting my hips but I also had room to spare to really stretch my legs out. It felt great! Not once was I uncomfortable in the theatre except for the fact that it was cold. Iwas so happy about that! In the same seat I used last time I was there, I was able to be comfortable. That felt GREAT.


----------



## CastingPearls

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC I have not been in here in forever but thought I would pop in and wish y'all a very Happy Thanksgiving !!!


Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours and to everyone here at Dimensions!!!


----------



## jewels_mystery

For those who celebrate, Happy Thanksgiving ladies. I am grateful for all of you and that I have this board to come to. {{hugs}}


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC that I'm tired & going to nap. I was so tired on Friday that I wanted to cry. I actually considered calling my doctor to discuss going on sick leave. I've decided to up my vitamin d & b doses to see if it helps.


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that I'm really tired of hubby and me making all the food for family gatherings.
For one, hubby always makes too much and we end up having to cart it all back home and fill every nook and cranny with leftovers. Then, we are faced with
having leftovers for breakfast, lunch and dinner because we hate to waste all
that food. Then...I really am tired of cornbread stuffing, gravy and such. I've changed my eating habits to healthier fare and eating this "comfort" food is making me feel sluggish and bloated. Ugh!


----------



## Tania

Punkin1024 said:


> I've changed my eating habits to healthier fare and eating this "comfort" food is making me feel sluggish and bloated. Ugh!



For reals; as much as I like turkey, it's giving me gas.


----------



## BrownDown09

IC I'm freaking out because I don't have a place to stay for the spring semester. I've been readmitted and have everything done and now housing seems like the only thing that's stressing me out....don't know what to do  Sent emails out and all I get are vague responses


----------



## luscious_lulu

I'm about to cry at work for the second time today.


----------



## AuntHen

Tania said:


> For reals; as much as I like turkey, it's giving me gas.




Ladies... may I suggest a probiotic supplement (atleast 2 billion active whatever they are called)... your body will love you for it


----------



## Tania

fat9276 said:


> Ladies... may I suggest a probiotic supplement (atleast 2 billion active whatever they are called)... your body will love you for it



Mmmm, bacteria!


----------



## AuntHen

Tania said:


> Mmmm, bacteria!




haha, yes. But the *good *kind


----------



## CarlaSixx

Beano rocks for gas, too, lol. And so does Ovol.


----------



## graphicsgal

IC....I love watching Friday Night Lights. It's my new guilty pleasure.


----------



## BrownDown09

^Me too, I think the earlier seasons were better but this one is good also.


----------



## blueeyedevie

I hate being insecure!


----------



## spiritangel

IC I feel like I have been drained of any ounce of energy and have to go to an appointment in town followed by the long walk to the post office and other such places I am not looking forward to it at all


----------



## Surlysomething

I wish when someone removes my posts that I would be informed.

I think it's quite childish.


----------



## Tania

The central valley sucks, but other than that I'm really effing thrilled right now. I love December - work ends for the semester, it's Christmas, I have awesome new clothes, and I love being me...happy happy, joy joy!


----------



## activistfatgirl

I would give my kingdom for a good back massage and someone to sweetly play with my hair. Only I don't have anything to barter with!


----------



## 1love_emily

I'll confess that a boy I very much like got me started on this site. 

I will confess that sometimes I love my body, sometimes I hate it. (I'm 5'10, and 305 lbs)

I will confess that the only thing I feel that I'm good at is playing trombone. 

I'll confess that I really like dorky guys - jocks are unattractive to me.

I'm willing to confess that I'm afraid I'll never find true love. 

I shall confess that all I want to do is play trombone all the time. 

Lastly, I will confess that I LOVE CHOCOLATE. So much. I'd bathe in it if possible. (This last one sounds pretty lame)


----------



## Lovelyone

IC that I haven't felt good about myself this month at all. I don't feel pretty, I feel awkward and uninteresting, I feel like I am wasting my life away waiting for the right man to come along, and I feel like a failure. Next month I might feel better about myself, but for now...not so much.


----------



## spiritangel

Lovelyone said:


> IC that I haven't felt good about myself this month at all. I don't feel pretty, I feel awkward and uninteresting, I feel like I am wasting my life away waiting for the right man to come along, and I feel like a failure. Next month I might feel better about myself, but for now...not so much.



Hugs mayby distraction and a bit of self pampering is in oder at the moment

big squishy hugs we all have times like that I so hope you get through it and realise how truly wonderful and lovable you are


----------



## CastingPearls

Lovelyone said:


> IC that I haven't felt good about myself this month at all. I don't feel pretty, I feel awkward and uninteresting, I feel like I am wasting my life away waiting for the right man to come along, and I feel like a failure. Next month I might feel better about myself, but for now...not so much.


You ARE pretty. I'M awkward so it's hardly unique LOL and you ARE Interesting. I know that's how you feel but that doesn't make it the reality, because you really are smart and thoughtful and lovely.

So, here's an idea; Don't wait for him. I'm not suggesting giving up, I'm suggesting you live and enjoy your life without expecting anything but enjoying your life. Not having a man is not a failing. In fact, an argument can be made that having the wrong man (or relationship) is a failing/mistake. 

And if that guy does show up or you run into him, he's going to be meeting an interesting woman enjoying her own interests and living her life which is very attractive and appealing.


----------



## Fluffy51888

IC that I haven't posted in forever, because it feels like my life is falling apart. I hate being all gloom and doom, but it feels like everything is wrong. My dad left me and my mom, my mom fell and hurt her knee at work and is now in a wheelchair, and as much as I hate to admit it, I'm still hurting even after 5 months. Not asking for sympathy, just for thoughts and prayers. Still love y'all, even if I'm not around much. <3


----------



## jewels_mystery

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that I haven't posted in forever, because it feels like my life is falling apart. I hate being all gloom and doom, but it feels like everything is wrong. My dad left me and my mom, my mom fell and hurt her knee at work and is now in a wheelchair, and as much as I hate to admit it, I'm still hurting even after 5 months. Not asking for sympathy, just for thoughts and prayers. Still love y'all, even if I'm not around much. <3



I am sorry your havng a hard time right now. Sending prayers out to you and your family.


----------



## Punkin1024

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that I haven't posted in forever, because it feels like my life is falling apart. I hate being all gloom and doom, but it feels like everything is wrong. My dad left me and my mom, my mom fell and hurt her knee at work and is now in a wheelchair, and as much as I hate to admit it, I'm still hurting even after 5 months. Not asking for sympathy, just for thoughts and prayers. Still love y'all, even if I'm not around much. <3



I'm so sorry you are having a tough time right now. I'll be praying that things get better for you and your Mom soon. (((((((HUGS)))))))


----------



## LovelyLiz

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that I haven't posted in forever, because it feels like my life is falling apart. I hate being all gloom and doom, but it feels like everything is wrong. My dad left me and my mom, my mom fell and hurt her knee at work and is now in a wheelchair, and as much as I hate to admit it, I'm still hurting even after 5 months. Not asking for sympathy, just for thoughts and prayers. Still love y'all, even if I'm not around much. <3



Well, to be fair to you, your world really is falling apart right now. I'm sorry things are so chaotic for you and your family, and all the grieving that goes with the loss of how things were before. My dad left my mom and I too (but I was a lot younger) - and I know what a devastating thing that can be. Take good care of yourself during this time, take some walks, breathe, let your friends love on you. ((Big hugs thru the internet wires!))


----------



## CastingPearls

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that I haven't posted in forever, because it feels like my life is falling apart. I hate being all gloom and doom, but it feels like everything is wrong. My dad left me and my mom, my mom fell and hurt her knee at work and is now in a wheelchair, and as much as I hate to admit it, I'm still hurting even after 5 months. Not asking for sympathy, just for thoughts and prayers. Still love y'all, even if I'm not around much. <3


Nothing wrong with asking for thoughts and prayers. ((((((Fluffy)))))) Prayers on the way up.


----------



## Fluffy51888

Thank you guys so much for everything. I really appreciate the kind words and thoughts and prayers. You guys help me out more than you will ever know!


----------



## Lovelyone

thanks for the suggestions ladies. I was having a rough day that day and knew that the feelings would pass. Love you ladies bunches cos you are so selfless and kind to others. (((hugsabunch))) 




spiritangel said:


> Hugs mayby distraction and a bit of self pampering is in oder at the moment
> 
> big squishy hugs we all have times like that I so hope you get through it and realise how truly wonderful and lovable you are


 


CastingPearls said:


> You ARE pretty. I'M awkward so it's hardly unique LOL and you ARE Interesting. I know that's how you feel but that doesn't make it the reality, because you really are smart and thoughtful and lovely.
> 
> So, here's an idea; Don't wait for him. I'm not suggesting giving up, I'm suggesting you live and enjoy your life without expecting anything but enjoying your life. Not having a man is not a failing. In fact, an argument can be made that having the wrong man (or relationship) is a failing/mistake.
> 
> And if that guy does show up or you run into him, he's going to be meeting an interesting woman enjoying her own interests and living her life which is very attractive and appealing.


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC I've missed this place. Things are just so busy right now.


----------



## graceofangels

I had a crush on one of the members of this board a little while ago.


----------



## Lovelyone

IC that I had a fantastically wonderful day today. Just enjoyed making some kids happy. I am glad that my sister wasn't here to see us rough-housing! LOL


----------



## Tau

I have nothing to confess just wanted to say a big, big hello to all of you  *SMISHES TO THE BBW BOARD!!*


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that this time of year is always a struggle for me. I try so hard not to eat too many goodies, but it is so hard because this holiday season has always been the one that presents all my favorite edibles. I just don't want to end up sick (sugar and Punkin - bad mix).


----------



## lovelocs

Maybe stock up on dietetic sweets, so you won't feel like you're missing anything.
A significant portion of my family is diabetic, and we've learned to celebrate the holidays with different types of sweets.


----------



## Tania

Tau said:


> I have nothing to confess just wanted to say a big, big hello to all of you  *SMISHES TO THE BBW BOARD!!*



HI TAU!


----------



## Jes

I keep badgering my boyf to tell me what he got me for christmas, but if he told me, i'd be so disappointed. but I keep asking anyway! www.cuckoo.com!


----------



## DearPrudence

IC that I'm watching The Biggest Loser (for the first time this season, and it's the finale), and Ada's story is really bothering me. She basically joined and competed bc her family was cold and uncaring towards her, and she thought losing weight would make her family love her more. The sad part is, it seems like it worked.


----------



## blueeyedevie

Ill confess, My insecurity is killing/killed my relationship.


----------



## Jes

my eating has been _really_ inappropriate, lately. *sigh*


----------



## Aust99

I confess I am in need of a lil' loving before Christmas..... even considering phoning up an ex.... maybe.... arrrgh!!


----------



## AmazingAmy

Aust99 said:


> I confess I am in need of a lil' loving before Christmas..... even considering phoning up an ex.... maybe.... arrrgh!!



Don't do it woman! There's a reason he's an ex, remember!


----------



## fluffyandcute

I confess.....I HAVE MORE SHOPPING TO DO...UGGH


----------



## Punkin1024

I confess that I've enjoyed too many holiday goodies and I'm paying the price. It is just so hard not to eat cookies and chocolate when they're around all day long.


----------



## CarlaSixx

I confess that sometimes I really hate strangers. 

Yesterday, as I got on the city bus to get to the mall, I walked in and found all the front seats full, but as there is only 1 foot of open space to walk between the seats to get to the back, this is normally a challenge for me, but not only that. One of the ladies in the seats was almost as rotund as I, and saw me come in and need to sit in the back. To get there, I needed to pass by her. Well... She didn't have the decency to stand up or something so I can make it through without bumping anyone. So I had to force my fat through. And I had to practically plop myself on her to make it. And when I did, she stared me down like it was my fault that I had to squeeze into her to make it through! As if I couldve walked through normally but had to annoy her! I was soooooo pissed! And so humiliated! And then as soon as I take a seat in the way back, THE LADY GETS OFF THE BUS! Soooooooo pissed! And she didn't het off because of me, she got off because of taking the wrong bus!

So not happy with people!!!


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I don't come in here enough! ;-).......Merry Christmas and A Blessed New Years to you all!!:wubu:


----------



## littlefairywren

BubbleButtBabe said:


> *IC I don't come in here enough!* ;-).......Merry Christmas and A Blessed New Years to you all!!:wubu:



Agreed! A Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours, Bubble :happy:


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC that I woke up feeling really great today. It's my birthday, and I just feel happy to be alive! I'm visiting my family, got some new boots and steel mixing bowls, am drinking coffee in a warm house on a cold day...and life is good.  Plus, a boy I potentially am developing a little crush on (even tho he's 8 years younger...lol) told me that I'm wonderful. That's a nice gift too.

Just wanted to share my birthday joy around here.  

Hope you all have a wonderful holiday weekend!


----------



## lovelocs

I repped you, and I'm saying it out loud! Happy birthday mcbeth!!!


----------



## LovelyLiz

lovelocs said:


> I repped you, and I'm saying it out loud! Happy birthday mcbeth!!!



Thanks, lovelocs  It has been a happy one!


----------



## CarlaSixx

Hope you've been having an awesome birthday, McBeth!  Sounds like things are on the upswing  Good way to start off a new year!


----------



## mossystate

I love the holiday season trolls. :wubu:


----------



## cinnamitch

mossystate said:


> I love the holiday season trolls. :wubu:



aww tis the season


----------



## mossystate

cinnamitch said:


> aww tis the season



I just wish I could gather all of them under the mistletoe...make it easier to pelt them with coal.


----------



## cinnamitch

mossystate said:


> I just wish I could gather all of them under the mistletoe...make it easier to pelt them with coal.



I myself would use brightly colored ribbon(wrapped around their necks-tightly)


----------



## mossystate

cinnamitch said:


> I myself would use brightly colored ribbon(wrapped around their necks-tightly)



Wow, our own Martha Flippin Stewart!


----------



## Punkin1024

Merry Christmas to all of you!


----------



## jewels_mystery

Merry Christmas Ladies.


----------



## Candy_Coated_Clown

I confess that I have very naughty thoughts when I see previews of the new Jack Black film, _Gulliver's Travels_. 

When he is shown as a giant in the trailer, I immediately realize that EVERYTHING is huge on him in that context, and if he decided to unzip and release and it was _that_ kind of movie, that would be quite a site for such tiny, minuscule townspeople people to behold...


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I would like someone to cuddle with and tell me that I was an awesome cuddle buddy because of my squishiness. I'd like for someone to appreciate my softness instead of just look past it. I'd like them to appreciate the whooole lot of me.


----------



## mossystate

Looks like Basic Health is going to be eliminated. Fuck. Put a fork in me - I am done.


----------



## penguin

IC I can't get my nuvaring in deep enough. I've only just started using them again (last time was 4.5 years ago, before I got pregnant), and I'm guessing it's because of the weight gain since then. I may have to stop using it and try something else


----------



## Deven

IC that I went through every camera/computer in the house and deleted any full body pictures taken of me after 2006. I'm waiting for someone to figure out what I did, but I think I got away with it.


----------



## Tau

I missed this post but had to say here that I also really loved it!! Don't worry bout the falling on your patootie! I think that made it a memorable date. I'm also crazy clumsy and love wearing heels and am always falling over a d down and up stairs  I say yay you for having an amazing time and allowing yourself to enjoy it!!! *SMISHESS NETTIE!!!* 



nettie said:


> Thanks for all the good vibes, everyone! I'm so glad I decided to share it here, as you all are a great bunch of confidence boosters.
> 
> Yes, I survived the date without tossing a single cookie. I had a fabulous time, heard some really great blues (they even did some old-school accoustic blues from the 20's), and hung out afterwards talking over some wine. He was a total gentleman, and I'd forgotten what it's like to have someone of the single male persuasion genuinely interested in getting to know me. Have to admit, though, that when he said the word "attractive" in reference to me, I almost lost it. Very, very sweet man. No romantic chemistry, but I do believe I've made a new friend. Plus, he likes opera and has agreed to be my "opera buddy" for a few performances this year.
> 
> I was so afraid I'd do something really awkward, which if you know me in person can be one of my most endearing qualities or most annoying depending on your perspective, like spill something on my sweater or blurt out some stupid comment. But, I arrived for the date looking and smelling good, was charming and relaxed, and held up quite well. When the evening was over, he walked me to my car (and how old school romantic - he made sure he walked street side at all times) arm in arm. And then ... then ... we were less than 100 feet from my car when suddenly ..... I was on the ground, legs akimbo, a look of shock and total embarrassment on my face. I don't know if it was his movement, mine, or the curbs, but I fell smack on my right knee and then my azz.
> 
> We both laughed it off, but I was mortified. Clearly I cannot escape being ME for even one night.
> 
> *sigh*


----------



## penguin

IC that I got these in the mail today, because the guy I'm seeing/sleeping with finds fishnets incredibly hot. I've never worn fishnets before, or stockings with cut outs, and it's been years since I've worn regular stockings. They are a little too small for me, but with some stretching they're wearable. I also confess I'm looking forward to seeing his reaction to seeing me in them


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC that in this whole world of dating, etc., I really really really want to find a good balance between risk and self-protection. I used to be about 99% self-protection and 1% risk, now I'm probably 80% - 20%. So that's at least some movement...but I hope I keep increasing that second number, I think the balance is still way out of whack.


----------



## luscious_lulu

penguin said:


> IC that I got these in the mail today, because the guy I'm seeing/sleeping with finds fishnets incredibly hot. I've never worn fishnets before, or stockings with cut outs, and it's been years since I've worn regular stockings. They are a little too small for me, but with some stretching they're wearable. I also confess I'm looking forward to seeing his reaction to seeing me in them




w00t! Fishnets tend to be a little more forgiving then regular tights/stockings.



My old hairdresser has decided not to come back to work after having her 4th child. This makes me sad as she was brilliant. I am trying a new stylist tomorrow. She comes highly recommended. Wish me luck!


----------



## CastingPearls

penguin said:


> IC that I got these in the mail today, because the guy I'm seeing/sleeping with finds fishnets incredibly hot. I've never worn fishnets before, or stockings with cut outs, and it's been years since I've worn regular stockings. They are a little too small for me, but with some stretching they're wearable. I also confess I'm looking forward to seeing his reaction to seeing me in them


I love my fishnets. I'm a big fan of stockings (the thigh highs) and just got an adorable pair of silk ones with black satin bows.


----------



## penguin

CastingPearls said:


> I love my fishnets. I'm a big fan of stockings (the thigh highs) and just got an adorable pair of silk ones with black satin bows.



I have pretty big thighs, so most of the thigh highs ended up being just-above-the-knees instead.


----------



## CastingPearls

penguin said:


> I have pretty big thighs, so most of the thigh highs ended up being just-above-the-knees instead.


I have the same issue. Once I actually did find a pair that not only came all the way up (sooo warm) but also didn't roll down. My legs are very tapered so rolling is a problem. *sigh* I consider finding great stockings a challenge but one worth pursuing. Good luck!


----------



## penguin

CastingPearls said:


> I have the same issue. Once I actually did find a pair that not only came all the way up (sooo warm) but also didn't roll down. My legs are very tapered so rolling is a problem. *sigh* I consider finding great stockings a challenge but one worth pursuing. Good luck!



I'll keep looking and trying them out  Next step...shoes. *sigh* My huge feet (which will be as big no matter what I weighed) are very expensive to shop for, and I have such limited options. I should probably just learn to make my own shoes!


----------



## WomanlyHips

IC that I'm normally pretty content doing things alone. However lately I've really been bummed out, being solo, in an awesome town like Dallas. Surely there have to be some tall'ish, nerdy boys, in Dallas that enjoy fat chicks and um- maybe hockey too? Is that too much to ask for?


----------



## BrownDown09

IC I'm sooo ready to go back to school and sooooo ready for our first apartment.


----------



## Fluffy51888

IC that I broke a chair today. Literally. A dining chair at a friends house. I sat in it, and it broke. She swears that it was already weak, but her 100 pound self could jump up and down in it and it wouldn't have broke. I cried.


----------



## penguin

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that I broke a chair today. Literally. A dining chair at a friends house. I sat in it, and it broke. She swears that it was already weak, but her 100 pound self could jump up and down in it and it wouldn't have broke. I cried.



Oh I hate that


----------



## luscious_lulu

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that I broke a chair today. Literally. A dining chair at a friends house. I sat in it, and it broke. She swears that it was already weak, but her 100 pound self could jump up and down in it and it wouldn't have broke. I cried.



(((hugs))) 

If it makes you feel any better I broke a sofa in Las Vegas.


----------



## AmazingAmy

As my last indulgence before finding another job I might have a facial... I've stopped using the Pill recently and although my boobs don't hurt anymore my skin isn't looking as glowy. Can I really afford it though...


----------



## Famouslastwords

AmazingAmy said:


> As my last indulgence before finding another job I might have a facial... I've stopped using the Pill recently and although my boobs don't hurt anymore my skin isn't looking as glowy. Can I really afford it though...



Facial smacial, why do we put ourselves through these expensive beauty things because we tell ourselves we have to? To have glowy skin? I've never worried about whether my skin glowed or not. In my life. And I've always received compliments on my peaches and cream complexion. Moral of the story: stop worrying so much and just be.


----------



## Jes

Famouslastwords said:


> Moral of the story: stop worrying so much and just be.



Aww, let the lady have her confession (and her facial if she wants it)--she's not asking you to pay for it!


----------



## Famouslastwords

Jes said:


> Aww, let the lady have her confession (and her facial if she wants it)--she's not asking you to pay for it!



Fine. It's your face! And hers too!


----------



## AmazingAmy

LOL thanks for the boost guys.  Pride in my skin is something I do for myself, Famouslastwords, but I know what you mean with worrying about things for no reason - I've stopped shaving my legs recently for that reason! Whoever sees them doesn't have to touch them, so who the hell cares? Not me.

But I think I will still have it, Jes. I do like the feel of freshly cleaned pores!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

I've never had a facial though I think it might feel fantastic.


----------



## Tau

I am annoyed. It's pointless in the extreme but has been niggling at me and so I shall share. Been speaking to a few (6) internet male personages and all of them - all of them - have told me that they don't know any fat girls in real life. None. Zero. Fat girls. In. Real. Life. All of these young men are from the US and live in New York, Michigan, Chicago and Los Angeles. Now if everything I see here and on the news and everywhere about the number of fat people in the US is true what do they mean that they don't know any fat girls???? Are all the fat girls in hiding?? Perhaps so well camouflaged they just fade into the snowy backdrop??? WTF??!!


----------



## CastingPearls

Tau said:


> I am annoyed. It's pointless in the extreme but has been niggling at me and so I shall share. Been speaking to a few (6) internet male personages and all of them - all of them - have told me that they don't know any fat girls in real life. None. Zero. Fat girls. In. Real. Life. All of these young men are from the US and live in New York, Michigan, Chicago and Los Angeles. Now if everything I see here and on the news and everywhere about the number of fat people in the US is true what do they mean that they don't know any fat girls???? Are all the fat girls in hiding?? Perhaps so well camouflaged they just fade into the snowy backdrop??? WTF??!!


They're lying. Really, they are.


----------



## mossystate

Tau said:


> I am annoyed. It's pointless in the extreme but has been niggling at me and so I shall share. Been speaking to a few (6) internet male personages and all of them - all of them - have told me that they don't know any fat girls in real life. None. Zero. Fat girls. In. Real. Life. All of these young men are from the US and live in New York, Michigan, Chicago and Los Angeles. Now if everything I see here and on the news and everywhere about the number of fat people in the US is true what do they mean that they don't know any fat girls???? Are all the fat girls in hiding?? Perhaps so well camouflaged they just fade into the snowy backdrop??? WTF??!!



Know as in have not seen any...or know as in, why are they not finding me and engaging me and doing all the human interaction work? If it's the former, then, bullshit.


----------



## LovelyLiz

CastingPearls said:


> They're lying. Really, they are.



Yep. They are. They aren't interested in a real life thing, it seems like, because there are PLENTY of fat people all over the place. LIARS.

Also - PM me who the guy is from Los Angeles - I bet I've come across him before and can maybe give you some more info.


----------



## Candy_Coated_Clown

Tau said:


> I am annoyed. It's pointless in the extreme but has been niggling at me and so I shall share. Been speaking to a few (6) internet male personages and all of them - all of them - have told me that they don't know any fat girls in real life. None. Zero. Fat girls. In. Real. Life. All of these young men are from the US and live in New York, Michigan, Chicago and Los Angeles. Now if everything I see here and on the news and everywhere about the number of fat people in the US is true what do they mean that they don't know any fat girls???? Are all the fat girls in hiding?? Perhaps so well camouflaged they just fade into the snowy backdrop??? WTF??!!



Hopefully these guys aren't speaking in the literal sense and instead mean they don't know any fat women on a very personal level as close friends and such. Even then, their claims are still weird. Are they also claiming to like fat women? 

Fat women are all over the damn place, especially in those cities they mentioned, one of them being my neck of the woods.

Odd that they'd choose to lie about such a detail like this. It really makes no sense. I mean, what's the benefit? If anything, it's a demerit and raises suspicion...


----------



## luscious_lulu

Tau said:


> I am annoyed. It's pointless in the extreme but has been niggling at me and so I shall share. Been speaking to a few (6) internet male personages and all of them - all of them - have told me that they don't know any fat girls in real life. None. Zero. Fat girls. In. Real. Life. All of these young men are from the US and live in New York, Michigan, Chicago and Los Angeles. Now if everything I see here and on the news and everywhere about the number of fat people in the US is true what do they mean that they don't know any fat girls???? Are all the fat girls in hiding?? Perhaps so well camouflaged they just fade into the snowy backdrop??? WTF??!!



All the fatties in the usa wear camouflage to blend in with the skinnies....


----------



## Tania

Tau said:


> I am annoyed. It's pointless in the extreme but has been niggling at me and so I shall share. Been speaking to a few (6) internet male personages and all of them - all of them - have told me that they don't know any fat girls in real life. None. Zero. Fat girls. In. Real. Life. All of these young men are from the US and live in New York, Michigan, Chicago and Los Angeles. Now if everything I see here and on the news and everywhere about the number of fat people in the US is true what do they mean that they don't know any fat girls???? Are all the fat girls in hiding?? Perhaps so well camouflaged they just fade into the snowy backdrop??? WTF??!!



"Hey Mom, can you bring me a soda/clean socks/a cookie/some cereal/a fat girl?"

Yeah, I'mna go with lazy.

Also, I think a lot of people are confused by the clinical definition of obesity. When the media (mis)paraphrases studies about fat, they make it seem like everyone who's technically overweight is huge. Most of them are not. In fact, many of them are not even noticeably overweight. 

Also, for comparative purposes, the United States was about tied for third place with Germany in the last report I saw about international obesity statistics. Aren't western Europeans usually stereotyped as super-active and skinny? Yeah, I rest my case.


----------



## Tau

Michigan dude said he hardly ever even saw any fat women - let alone any to interact with. The others have been wishy washy after further questioning. Tania you probably have a point but I confess that I've just decided to ignore them as closet losers. It just made me so tired and angry. Thank you for lending your ears and your opinions ladies.


----------



## HottiMegan

I have a terrible sense of impending doom i can't shake. I have had a lot of bad stuff happen lately and I am not looking forward to more. My dreams are typically intuitive and every time something bad happened lately i'd have specific nightmares the couple of nights before it. I sound so crazy about this.


----------



## spiritangel

HottiMegan said:


> I have a terrible sense of impending doom i can't shake. I have had a lot of bad stuff happen lately and I am not looking forward to more. My dreams are typically intuitive and every time something bad happened lately i'd have specific nightmares the couple of nights before it. I sound so crazy about this.



Hugs Megan, mayby its time to get a dream journal and writing the dreams down so that you might start to see some patterns and such and find some meaning to them intuition can be a funny cryptic and strange thing at times but also we can put what we want or fear into it as well so be careful to catch stray negative thoughts and turn them to something positive as this can help


----------



## QuasimodoQT

You feel how you feel. The fact that you know how it sounds means you're not crazy. I've also had intervals where I felt like this, so you're not alone. Of course, the hope is that it's just leftover stress and anxiety from your other recent bad stuff (sorry to hear that) making you feel wary, and that you have a lovely stretch of smooth sailing ahead.



HottiMegan said:


> I have a terrible sense of impending doom i can't shake. I have had a lot of bad stuff happen lately and I am not looking forward to more. My dreams are typically intuitive and every time something bad happened lately i'd have specific nightmares the couple of nights before it. I sound so crazy about this.


----------



## Jes

Tau said:


> have told me that they aren't willing to admit they know any fat girls in real life.



I fixed that for you!!


----------



## CarlaSixx

Public transportation can be such a bitch when you're fat and the aisle is barely even 2feet wide. And the bus is filled with inconsiderate people. 

Also, I'm starting to feel tension between this dude and I. Not an angry tension, but closer to a sexual kind of tension. It's really weird and I don't want to end up hurt over this. I think he just wants any female he can get, so I'm a little wary about all of this.


----------



## vardon_grip

Tau said:


> I am annoyed. It's pointless in the extreme but has been niggling at me and so I shall share. Been speaking to a few (6) internet male personages and all of them - all of them - have told me that they don't know any fat girls in real life. None. Zero. Fat girls. In. Real. Life. All of these young men are from the US and live in New York, Michigan, Chicago and Los Angeles. Now if everything I see here and on the news and everywhere about the number of fat people in the US is true what do they mean that they don't know any fat girls???? Are all the fat girls in hiding?? Perhaps so well camouflaged they just fade into the snowy backdrop??? WTF??!!


It can be extremely difficult to find or meet women of any size if you never leave your room in your parent's basement.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Tau said:


> Michigan dude said he hardly ever even saw any fat women - let alone any to interact with. The others have been wishy washy after further questioning. Tania you probably have a point but I confess that I've just decided to ignore them as closet losers. It just made me so tired and angry. Thank you for lending your ears and your opinions ladies.



Here's an old thread I ran across that is about "the closet." Rather than necroposting...I figured I'll just put the link in here. Seems to have some good stuff.


----------



## AmazingAmy

Two stunning men have messaged me on a dating site... and both live abroad. :doh: WHY can't ethereal hotties live _here_?


----------



## Candy_Coated_Clown

HottiMegan said:


> I have a terrible sense of impending doom i can't shake. I have had a lot of bad stuff happen lately and I am not looking forward to more. My dreams are typically intuitive and every time something bad happened lately i'd have specific nightmares the couple of nights before it. I sound so crazy about this.



You're not crazy at all. My dreams have always been *very* intuitive, too. In fact, there are many things I've been told or shown about a lot of situations in my life just from my dreams alone... 

I mean detailed and uncanny stuff I otherwise wouldn't have known...this is both a curse and a blessing, I guess...

I agree with Spiritangel. Take to a dream journal and begin writing down what you can remember from your dreams, if you can gather anything from them right after waking up. Keep the notebook by a desk near your bed for easy and convenient access. 

Dissecting your dreams might help you to understand and confront some things better -- situations going on in your life and yourself. 

I hope everything gets better for you and that your mental and emotional load lightens. Sending light.


----------



## Lovelyone

Out of 60 or so responses that I received over the past couple months from a dating site, I finally chatted with someone who seems sane, funny, sweet, sincere, honest, and thoughtful. It feels strange to be optimistic after all this time.


----------



## penguin

AmazingAmy said:


> Two stunning men have messaged me on a dating site... and both live abroad. :doh: WHY can't ethereal hotties live _here_?



Which country do they live in?


----------



## AmazingAmy

penguin said:


> Which country do they live in?



The US! Too bad they're not Aussies, I would've passed them on to you.


----------



## penguin

AmazingAmy said:


> The US! Too bad they're not Aussies, I would've passed them on to you.



I would've appreciated that! The only bites I get are from guys who think "how r u?" or "whoa big tits!" are great opening lines.


----------



## AmazingAmy

penguin said:


> I would've appreciated that! The only bites I get are from guys who think "how r u?" or "whoa big tits!" are great opening lines.



Those two 'sentences' have made up abouy 70% of the messages I've recieved today.  Though replace tits with belly and it's exactly right. It's a shame about one of the dudes too as he lived in Australia not long ago.  From his profile he's an absolute keeper too! No luck for us lol.


----------



## 1love_emily

I have a new confession. 

I'm utterly tired of being single. I want what my friends have - I want someone who is like a best friend that I'm sexually attracted to. I want a boyfriend, so so badly. Yet, I'm stuck asking boys out and time after time getting rejected. 

Men here are either incredibly closeted, incredibly shy, or just not attracted to me, and it sucks! 

I'm ready to have someone who wants me for all that I am. I want someone who wants me.


----------



## penguin

AmazingAmy said:


> Those two 'sentences' have made up abouy 70% of the messages I've recieved today.  Though replace tits with belly and it's exactly right. It's a shame about one of the dudes too as he lived in Australia not long ago.  From his profile he's an absolute keeper too! No luck for us lol.



I even put in my profile that a turn off is guys using net speak in emails. Is it THAT hard to include what you like about my profile, other than my tits? Or to use something I've said as a conversation starter? Bah.


----------



## AmazingAmy

penguin said:


> I even put in my profile that a turn off is guys using net speak in emails. Is it THAT hard to include what you like about my profile, other than my tits? Or to use something I've said as a conversation starter? Bah.



I know what you mean. I feel no guilt about deleting messages that aren't written properly, especially considering I ask for articulate (or 'article' as iPod's autocorrect decided it should be ) men in my profile.

I also specify I only want to hear from guys who've had the courtesy to put photographs in their profiles, but I must've made another spelling mistake somewhere because I only seem to get them from men with a question mark for a face.


----------



## luscious_lulu

AmazingAmy said:


> I know what you mean. I feel no guilt about deleting messages that aren't written properly, especially considering I ask for articulate (or 'article' as iPod's autocorrect decided it should be ) men in my profile.
> 
> I also specify I only want to hear from guys who've had the courtesy to put photographs in their profiles, but I must've made another spelling mistake somewhere because I only seem to get them from men with a question mark for a face.



They don't read the profiles. They look at the pictures and send messages.


----------



## penguin

AmazingAmy said:


> I know what you mean. I feel no guilt about deleting messages that aren't written properly, especially considering I ask for articulate (or 'article' as iPod's autocorrect decided it should be ) men in my profile.



Same here. If they can't be bothered to string a sentence together to make a good first impression, I'm usually not interested.



AmazingAmy said:


> I also specify I only want to hear from guys who've had the courtesy to put photographs in their profiles, but I must've made another spelling mistake somewhere because I only seem to get them from men with a question mark for a face.



I won't respond to guys who don't have photos in their profiles. I put photos of me up, it's the least they can do!



luscious_lulu said:


> They don't read the profiles. They look at the pictures and send messages.



That would explain a lot.


----------



## AmazingAmy

penguin said:


> I won't respond to guys who don't have photos in their profiles. I put photos of me up, it's the least they can do!



I used to make an effort with them if they had something to say, but I've since stopped responding to people who don't have pictures. I'll thank them if they were particularly polite or had something kind to say, but I won't open up a dialogue.


----------



## bonified

I've met a few good ones recently, 2 without pics, did them both but only after I made them send pics to my e-mail.

Pics or gtfo is my usual 2nd reply.


----------



## gobettiepurple

I confess . . . 

that I went out to lunch with my sister and some of her friends to an awesome texas style bbq place. well, i think one of her guy friends was flirting with me! awkward! I mean, he is one of her good friends. and I have to say I was sort of flattered - we obviously have a lot in common, although I am not sure that I am into him in a romantic sense. 

yikes! so glad my sister isn't on here, because that would have been soooo bad! anyway, had to get that off my chest!


----------



## Alaskanangel

Hi, I am new here, but so far I am enjoying the freedom I see that everyone here has so here goes. I confess that for the first time in my life, I am happy with who I am and where I am in my life. I am married to a wonderful man who loves and adores me. I recently came out to him about how much I hate being skinny and that after gaining a few pounds over the holidays, I actually feel better about myself. I told him I hate having my bones sticking out and being able to feel my hip bones digging into him during sex. He is about 300 lbs and I am hoping to see that number go up a bit...but I am off track. I also told him that putting on a few pounds made me feel sexy and our bedroom life was a bit ramped up too. He was suprised that gaining weight had that effect on me and said that if I really wanted to gain weight and if I was that unhappy being thinner then I should find a comfortable weight. So I have gained 16 pounds since Christmas and I am loving it!! I eat what I want, when I want and I don't feel any guilt. I love my expanding belly and softening curves. I am so excited to be finally happy in my own skin.


----------



## blueeyedevie

I don't envy all you ladies looking for guys. I hated , hated online socializing. It was so stupid at times , and oh OK sometimes it was very cool. However socializing /looking for Mr. Right is over rated.LOL I truly don't believe in romance nor a magical feeling, nor do I believe in fairy tales. It is just a flicker of something that might be, that turns into dreams crushed and hearts broken!


----------



## mossystate

Sometimes, a fat person does things for ourselves...and doesn't really care how it doesn't please others. We might change our minds, we might ' fail ', we might succeed according to our definition, like anybody else. No matter, not everything is about ' you '.


----------



## gobettiepurple

I confess that I went to a bar with some friends the other day, and a cholo dude asked me to dance [because this bar happened to have a dj, which was weird, but whatev] and I turned him down. I thought he looked old, but upon further consideration, perhaps that is why I never get picked up anywhere I go: I think its a sourpuss thing . . . I look like I don't want to be messed with, which is okay for some things, like random old cholo guys, but it doesn't always do me good . . . in penance for this, the next person that offers me a dance, young, old, ugly, hot, gay straight, I will do it! lol!


----------



## bonified

I'm not looking for mr right, I just want a tuesday night, a thursday morning, and a sunday afternooner. The net just makes it easier to sort out the initial bullshit. Plus, anything I can do high in my pj's whilst listening to music is a bonus.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

bonified said:


> I'm not looking for mr right, I just want a tuesday night, a thursday morning, and a sunday afternooner. The net just makes it easier to sort out the initial bullshit. Plus, anything I can do high in my pj's whilst listening to music is a bonus.



This reminds me of a CL personal ad I put up once titled "Looking for Mr Friday Night". Pretty much summed it up.


----------



## Lovelyone

I am feeling a little out of place and nervous thinking about a date tomorrow. 
I know what I will wear, how my hair will look, what make-up to put on...but I am SO nervous. GRRR


----------



## aocutiepi

Tau said:


> Michigan dude said he hardly ever even saw any fat women - let alone any to interact with. The others have been wishy washy after further questioning. Tania you probably have a point but I confess that I've just decided to ignore them as closet losers. It just made me so tired and angry. Thank you for lending your ears and your opinions ladies.



I know I'm a little late to the game, but I have lived and worked in Michigan. I was most definitely not the only fat lady in the state the year I lived there. We are as plentiful as road-cones in the Michigan springtime.  Detroit is full of fatties and I lived in northern Michigan, where there definitely wasn't a shortage either. :doh: Or, more likely, as the others said, he's living in his mom's basement and hasn't really seen much outside of it recently. Sorry they sucked, Tau. You deserve better. :smishes:



1love_emily said:


> I have a new confession.
> 
> I'm utterly tired of being single. I want what my friends have - I want someone who is like a best friend that I'm sexually attracted to. I want a boyfriend, so so badly. Yet, I'm stuck asking boys out and time after time getting rejected.
> 
> Men here are either incredibly closeted, incredibly shy, or just not attracted to me, and it sucks!
> 
> I'm ready to have someone who wants me for all that I am. I want someone who wants me.




I have given up for the time being, at least active pursuit. I think my desire to have a boyfriend was so strong I was coming off as desperate. Which is almost never attractive to a man looking for anything more than a quickie in the backseat of his car. So far, I definitely notice an improvement in flirt quantity and quality. This experiment is only a couple months old, though. Hell, I'm only 23. I have time. But I definitely understand the desire to have someone to kiss, cuddle, talk to... Good luck, sweetie... you're gorgeous and very talented. I'm hoping for my sake that the saying "he'll come along when you least expect it" is true... for both of us!


----------



## aocutiepi

I auditioned for my city's chorus last week at the suggestion of one of my old music major colleagues from school. Our first concert is Valentine's Day and I have to get the official dress ordered. Well, first... our director e-mailed me for the contact information for the seamstress and informed me that all dresses up to size 14 were $85 and above that, you get a top and skirt for $125. Which is shit but I'm used to having to pay out the nose for my clothes because I'm fat. It's not fair, but it is a part of my life that right now, I just have to deal with. 

I contacted the seamstress lady with my measurements and dress size, as requested, and she sends me back an e-mail this morning that reads: "*Whenever I make plus-size outfits, I must see you in person to ensure a proper fit. And, I have determined that making these plus-sized outfits is going to cost $150 now because of the extra material and labor, not the $125 the director told you. Or, you can go buy your own outfit at the store. This will save you a lot of money!*"

Then she lists the specifics for this dress that is going to be so easy for me to find, because I have an easy time finding outfits that fit me every single time I go out!!  This hideous ensemble must be: "Black velvet (stretch-type velvet that has a little sheen to it - not crinkle, and not matte that they call velour) with a rounded neckline that comes about an inch below the collar-bone (no cleavage showing) with long or 3/4 length sleeves, no trim, sparkles or buttons, and tea length (about 3" above ankle)."

Yes, let me go to the Fat Girl's Black Velvet Sack Shop where they have just about every type of black velvet outfit my heart could desire so I can pick out one to these specifications! Basically, she doesn't want to waste her time making a dress to fit my gross fat body, so she's bumping up the price and making me drive in to see her or making me hunt on my own. Either way, she makes extra money or doesn't have to deal with me. So... win-win for her, because there is zero reason a size 18 dress should be almost double the cost of a size 14 dress.

IC I wasn't too keen on being a part of the choir anyway as I prefer being a soloist :happy: but now I'm seriously considering peacing out. Too expensive anyway. I have to do $1500 of community service or pay it as part of my dues, sell $100 a plate dinner tickets... I'm a broke college student. 

But, I am worried that my friend will be upset. This was supposed to be another bonding experience for us, but that e-mail on top of everything else... I have a lot of decisions to make before rehearsal tomorrow night.


----------



## ashmamma84

Lovelyone said:


> I am feeling a little out of place and nervous thinking about a date tomorrow.
> I know what I will wear, how my hair will look, what make-up to put on...but I am SO nervous. GRRR



I hope your date went well, T. I'm sure you looked fabu, honey!


----------



## fatbottomedgrrl

aocutiepi said:


> This hideous ensemble must be: "Black velvet (stretch-type velvet that has a little sheen to it - not crinkle, and not matte that they call velour) with a rounded neckline that comes about an inch below the collar-bone (no cleavage showing) with long or 3/4 length sleeves, no trim, sparkles or buttons, and tea length (about 3" above ankle)."



Would this fit the bill? I know she said no velour, but it's cheap enough that it migh be worth a try.


----------



## Famouslastwords

aocutiepi said:


> I auditioned for my city's chorus last week at the suggestion of one of my old music major colleagues from school. Our first concert is Valentine's Day and I have to get the official dress ordered. Well, first... our director e-mailed me for the contact information for the seamstress and informed me that all dresses up to size 14 were $85 and above that, you get a top and skirt for $125. Which is shit but I'm used to having to pay out the nose for my clothes because I'm fat. It's not fair, but it is a part of my life that right now, I just have to deal with.
> 
> I contacted the seamstress lady with my measurements and dress size, as requested, and she sends me back an e-mail this morning that reads: "*Whenever I make plus-size outfits, I must see you in person to ensure a proper fit. And, I have determined that making these plus-sized outfits is going to cost $150 now because of the extra material and labor, not the $125 the director told you. Or, you can go buy your own outfit at the store. This will save you a lot of money!*"
> 
> Then she lists the specifics for this dress that is going to be so easy for me to find, because I have an easy time finding outfits that fit me every single time I go out!!  This hideous ensemble must be: "Black velvet (stretch-type velvet that has a little sheen to it - not crinkle, and not matte that they call velour) with a rounded neckline that comes about an inch below the collar-bone (no cleavage showing) with long or 3/4 length sleeves, no trim, sparkles or buttons, and tea length (about 3" above ankle)."
> 
> Yes, let me go to the Fat Girl's Black Velvet Sack Shop where they have just about every type of black velvet outfit my heart could desire so I can pick out one to these specifications! Basically, she doesn't want to waste her time making a dress to fit my gross fat body, so she's bumping up the price and making me drive in to see her or making me hunt on my own. Either way, she makes extra money or doesn't have to deal with me. So... win-win for her, because there is zero reason a size 18 dress should be almost double the cost of a size 14 dress.
> 
> IC I wasn't too keen on being a part of the choir anyway as I prefer being a soloist :happy: but now I'm seriously considering peacing out. Too expensive anyway. I have to do $1500 of community service or pay it as part of my dues, sell $100 a plate dinner tickets... I'm a broke college student.
> 
> But, I am worried that my friend will be upset. This was supposed to be another bonding experience for us, but that e-mail on top of everything else... I have a lot of decisions to make before rehearsal tomorrow night.



I would ditch it. Forget them. You're broke, your friend will forgive you, or shes not that much of a good friend.


----------



## luscious_lulu

I'd email the choir director and tell him what she has said to you. If she has quoted a price she should be obligated to honor it.


----------



## CastingPearls

God, I'm just so tired and worn out from people not being honest.


----------



## luscious_lulu

CastingPearls said:


> God, I'm just so tired and worn out from people not being honest.



(((hugs)))


----------



## aocutiepi

luscious_lulu said:


> I'd email the choir director and tell him what she has said to you. If she has quoted a price she should be obligated to honor it.



I gave the director a phone call this morning. She was very angry at the way I was treated and very understanding about my desire to exit the ensemble. I am temporarily resigning, with the promise from her that if I want to ever be in the ensemble again (which I might, you never know) that I won't have as hard of [or any] audition since I have auditioned before. Like I said, I was already thinking about leaving due to financial constraints, but the dress fiasco just broke the camel's back for me. 

In the meantime, my director made the fabulous suggestion (at least I think) that since I'll have more time before I come back to look for an outfit, I can wait until things go on sale and go bargain hunting and collect the outfit piece by piece, get it tailored, etc. A low stress and, if it is on sale, cheaper way to put something together--I can casually glance the racks when I'm looking for something else instead of accepting the near impossible mission of finding the right dress by this year's Valentine's Day concert.

I immediately feel less stressed. Life is good.

Thanks for everything, ladies!


----------



## AmazingAmy

Fat Families... Half Ton Teen... Biggest Loser USA... all broken up with a tidy helping of 'healthy lifestyle' and junk food adverts.

Got to love British telly.


----------



## penguin

I confess that I'm getting more comfortable with the parts of my body I don't like as much. I'm getting back to loving me like I used to, and I know that being here at Dims has helped with that.


----------



## Lovelyone

I confess that I had a date Monday night. I woke up yesterday and every muscle in my body was aching me.





(Gosh, you all have dirty minds.) I got into a low-to-the-ground hot tub and had a hard time getting out. I used muscles that I didn't know I had.


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC that I really need to start going to sleep before 1 or 2am, since I can't seem to sleep in - I wake up early and my brain just starts thinking about everything. After a bunch of nights of 5-6 hours of sleep, I'm not feeling so awesome. Sleep is totally one of those things that makes SUCH a difference in mood, energy, everything. I want some more!!!!


----------



## fluffyandcute

I confess that I really really need some Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream RIGHT NOW!!! Anyone want to bring me some :eat2:


----------



## jewels_mystery

IC I can not wait until the spring. I am dying to go fishing. I have not gone in years but for some reason I am missing it like crazy.


----------



## penguin

IC I want to take more artsy/sexy photos of me, but I guess I'm trying to gel what I find sexy and attractive with what others do. I guess part of it is also that I'm still adjusting to having my weight and size be a good thing. But I need to do this for me.


----------



## luscious_lulu

My name is lulu & I have an eBay shopping addiction...


----------



## spiritangel

luscious_lulu said:


> My name is lulu & I have an eBay shopping addiction...




Hi My Name is Amanda and I have the same addiction lol




IC I will never understand how a single question can dictate how I should or shouldnt feel about myself or why everything must degenerate into this is designed to make us feel bad about ourselves considering that its not the whole world and my self esteem does not come from this forum or any other. Or why by asking an innocent out of curiosity question people feel the need to condemn the OP its not like you know saying fat chicks shouldnt eat on trains or some such


----------



## Famouslastwords

spiritangel said:


> Hi My Name is Amanda and I have the same addiction lol
> 
> 
> 
> 
> IC I will never understand how a single question can dictate how I should or shouldnt feel about myself or why everything must degenerate into this is designed to make us feel bad about ourselves considering that its not the whole world and my self esteem does not come from this forum or any other. Or why by asking an innocent out of curiosity question people feel the need to condemn the OP its not like you know saying fat chicks shouldnt eat on trains or some such



I guess since you're not over 400 pounds it's not as hard for you, but there comes a point where you feel as though you're too fat for even dims and even dims acts like you're too fat for even dims. And then they make these nasty threads saying oh why do fat people where these frumpy clothes when sometimes the cheap stuff that fits is frumpy. (Do you know at Catherines one of the nicer shirts is $48.00? I know they always have sales and whatnot but still, it gets expensive. Afterall how much do you really save if it starts off at $48.00? And by the time it's on clearance all the huge sizes are gone!) It gets tiring to be told you're unattractive everywhere you go, we get it, we're so fat, we should just die already, and make your life easier. Or that's what it feels like sometimes.


----------



## Aust99

Wish I could rep you FML...


I confess that even though I am on a buying new clothing ban til March 1st, I still browse the shops and I hope to hell all the lovely clothes I want to buy are still available then... Also, I finally unpacked 4 boxes of clothes that have been in my study since June last year to see what I wanted to keep/ give away.... out of the four boxes, I got three bags of nice clothes to give to charity, three loads of washing to do and add to my closet and a full council bin of clothes that are old/ not good enough for the charity to resell... I feel a little less cluttered and I'm happy to have a few new (old but not worn in a year) clothes to work with.


----------



## spiritangel

Famouslastwords said:


> I guess since you're not over 400 pounds it's not as hard for you, but there comes a point where you feel as though you're too fat for even dims and even dims acts like you're too fat for even dims. And then they make these nasty threads saying oh why do fat people where these frumpy clothes when sometimes the cheap stuff that fits is frumpy. (Do you know at Catherines one of the nicer shirts is $48.00? I know they always have sales and whatnot but still, it gets expensive. Afterall how much do you really save if it starts off at $48.00? And by the time it's on clearance all the huge sizes are gone!) It gets tiring to be told you're unattractive everywhere you go, we get it, we're so fat, we should just die already, and make your life easier. Or that's what it feels like sometimes.



I get that trust me I buy like one piece at a time from ebay because I cant afford big orders and most of the plus size stores dont fit me and I totally hear all that but that wasnt the intent of the op, mayby I am just not that sensative about it I know how hard it is for me to find clothes that fit my hips it can be insanely difficult especially on a very tight budget. I just thought we were supposed to be an accepting interested community............. and I was genuinely interested in the question posed. I diddnt see it as being told I was unattractive or inadequate. Again mayby that is just me. I have always been a big believer in choosing to believe in myself and not take on board the negativity of others or I would be a total basket case by now . I truly dont think it was about why we wear frumpy clothes it was more what do fa's find a turn off re us wearing again as I said I may have read it all wrong 

hugs


----------



## AmazingAmy

Aust99 said:


> I confess that even though I am on a buying new clothing ban til March 1st, I still browse the shops and I hope to hell all the lovely clothes I want to buy are still available then... Also, I finally unpacked 4 boxes of clothes that have been in my study since June last year to see what I wanted to keep/ give away.... out of the four boxes, I got three bags of nice clothes to give to charity, three loads of washing to do and add to my closet and a full council bin of clothes that are old/ not good enough for the charity to resell... I feel a little less cluttered and I'm happy to have a few new (old but not worn in a year) clothes to work with.



I've done this recently too! I had so much stuff from my teen years that still fitted but didn't suit me anymore, I realised I needed a clearout. Now out of the 50+ things in my wadrobe I now have about 15, and from my draws I've chucked out a good 2/3s of stuff. I did my shoes a couple of months ago and have about 5 pairs from 15 left. Everything I didn't want I either put in a clothes bin or gave the charity. The 10 or so decent items in all of that are to go on eBay soon.

It feels so good though. You get rid of the clutter, you suddenly know exactly what you have (and that you like all of it), and now you have a reason to buy in a few more things.


----------



## AmazingAmy

Famouslastwords said:


> I guess since you're not over 400 pounds it's not as hard for you, but there comes a point where you feel as though you're too fat for even dims and even dims acts like you're too fat for even dims. And then they make these nasty threads saying oh why do fat people where these frumpy clothes when sometimes the cheap stuff that fits is frumpy. (Do you know at Catherines one of the nicer shirts is $48.00? I know they always have sales and whatnot but still, it gets expensive. Afterall how much do you really save if it starts off at $48.00? And by the time it's on clearance all the huge sizes are gone!) It gets tiring to be told you're unattractive everywhere you go, we get it, we're so fat, we should just die already, and make your life easier. Or that's what it feels like sometimes.



How can you suggest Amanda doesn't have it 'as hard' just because she's not a certain number on the scales? Amanda is a big lady regardless of what number she's at, and I think it's really unfair to judge her statement by how much you think she weighs. Fat is fat, it comes in so many different forms, and things don't suddenly get harder once you've reached a certain digit. We're not machines with load baring capacities that can only take/do so much after a specific point. If someone says she struggles, or feels a certain way about this/that, then that's the way it is - don't tell her she doesn't know the meaning of it.

Dims amazes me sometimes. You come here thinking everyone shares the same challenges, only to find you're still regimented. You can't know/feel X because you're not X. Same shit different day.


----------



## Lovelyone

spiritangel said:


> Hi My Name is Amanda and I have the same addiction lol
> 
> 
> 
> 
> IC I will never understand how a single question can dictate how I should or shouldnt feel about myself or why everything must degenerate into this is designed to make us feel bad about ourselves considering that its not the whole world and my self esteem does not come from this forum or any other. Or why by asking an innocent out of curiosity question people feel the need to condemn the OP its not like you know saying fat chicks shouldnt eat on trains or some such





Famouslastwords said:


> I guess since you're not over 400 pounds it's not as hard for you, but there comes a point where you feel as though you're too fat for even dims and even dims acts like you're too fat for even dims. And then they make these nasty threads saying oh why do fat people where these frumpy clothes when sometimes the cheap stuff that fits is frumpy. (Do you know at Catherines one of the nicer shirts is $48.00? I know they always have sales and whatnot but still, it gets expensive. Afterall how much do you really save if it starts off at $48.00? And by the time it's on clearance all the huge sizes are gone!) It gets tiring to be told you're unattractive everywhere you go, we get it, we're so fat, we should just die already, and make your life easier. Or that's what it feels like sometimes.





spiritangel said:


> I get that trust me I buy like one piece at a time from ebay because I cant afford big orders and most of the plus size stores dont fit me and I totally hear all that but that wasnt the intent of the op, mayby I am just not that sensative about it I know how hard it is for me to find clothes that fit my hips it can be insanely difficult especially on a very tight budget. I just thought we were supposed to be an accepting interested community............. and I was genuinely interested in the question posed. I diddnt see it as being told I was unattractive or inadequate. Again mayby that is just me. I have always been a big believer in choosing to believe in myself and not take on board the negativity of others or I would be a total basket case by now . I truly dont think it was about why we wear frumpy clothes it was more what do fa's find a turn off re us wearing again as I said I may have read it all wrong
> 
> hugs





AmazingAmy said:


> How can you suggest Amanda doesn't have it 'as hard' just because she's not a certain number on the scales? Amanda is a big lady regardless of what number she's at, and I think it's really unfair to judge her statement by how much you think she weighs. Fat is fat, it comes in so many different forms, and things don't suddenly get harder once you've reached a certain digit. We're not machines with load baring capacities that can only take/do so much after a specific point. If someone says she struggles, or feels a certain way about this/that, then that's the way it is - don't tell her she doesn't know the meaning of it.
> 
> Dims amazes me sometimes. You come here thinking everyone shares the same challenges, only to find you're still regimented. You can't know/feel X because you're not X. Same shit different day.




As a woman who has exceeded the +500 lb weight limit (and is a super-pear shape), I can truly empathize with anyone who has a problem finding clothing-no matter what the reason. One of my best friends is a 130lb. 5'11 woman who has a problem finding clothing that will fit her waist, and length. I TOTALLY can relate to that. When I shop I become discouraged when purchasing clothing not only because of the fit but also because clothing designers seem to think that every fat woman should dress like her grandmother. It truly is hard to find lovely, pretty, feminine, up-to-date clothing that accentuates a plus-sized figure. I can't tell you how many times I have broken down in a fit of tears in a clothing store fitting room after realizing that the armful of clothing that I wanted to try on and purchase would not in any way, shape, or form fit me. It is even more disheartening when those clothes that you wanted to try on were THE LARGEST SIZE that the store carries and you know that nothing in that "fat lady shop" will fit you any longer. I now primarily buy my clothing on line at places like Sanctuarie, Biggalslingerie, WomanWithin, Roamans and a few other Google finds. Its difficult because the clothing I WANT to wear is not the clothing that I can buy. I feel androgynous at times in the clothing that I HAVE to buy. (not to mention how stressful it is to make those androgynous clothes look feminine when you are trying to date.) 
I don't even want to recall all the times that I have walked into a place like Catherine's only to turn and walk away before even looking at everything because the first price tag I looked at was an exorbitant amount--and then walk past a clothing store for the "average sized" people and see that their clothing is 1/3 the price of clothing that I can purchase. I can understand how discouraging and disheartening it is it is. 
My experience with forums is such that one thread on a forums (and not only a fat community forums) can make you feel out of sorts, discouraged, out of place. It happens all the time--even in a community like this where were are supposed to feel safe and be accepting and understanding of one another BECAUSE of these issues. The problem with coming to a place like this and hoping that everyone shares the same experiences...is that the situations might be the same but the people aren't. Its wonderful to come to a place like this and find that you aren't the only person that you know who suffers the humiliating experience of trying to find clothing that fits properly, jewelry that will fit our larger-than-average necks, ankles, fingers, and wrists, seating on a plane, restaurants with appropriate seating, and theaters that will accommodate us, and men/women who are attracted to us, but the truth of the matter is that each experience we have is unique to the person experiencing it. Different emotions are involved, different degrees of futility and humiliation, different perceptions and eventually different reactions, even if the ending result is the same--walking away from something that you would LOVE to have because you cant wear, fit, buy or use it--because of your size. 
It doesn't help when thread that was designed to ask a question (although that question could have been phrased better) turns into a thread that basically becomes a "bash fat women and how they wear their clothing" thread. But I think that its easy to forget that we were once that newbie. Remember how daunting the task was to ask yout first fat related question? Newbies--like us--want to find answers, are curious about their weight, and could quite well be dealing with the same issues that initially brought us here. I know for a fact that when I first came here, I asked questions that got me in a muddle..because I didn't use the appropriate amount of tact. I did learn from that. I tried in the other threads to be more delicate, circumspect, and considerate in what I posted, but most of all I tried to be more compassionate to others. I still have a lot of work in that area...but I am trying.


----------



## mossystate

If someone posts a picture of themselves and then asks ' fa's ' or anybody else what they think, that's one thing. Asking a question that will have people tell fat women what we shouldn't wear or do, and it is because we are fat ...that is in very much the same family as eating whatever on a train...again, if it is because we are fat, and not because of a general personal preference.
If we don't want to see the competitive attitude that is " you are not x number of pounds, so you can't understand... " etc, then it might be a good thing to believe that when there is upset, the people upset might not want to be scolded, just like in the cases of " you are not x number of pounds ". Curiousity and ' concern ' are not always positive, not to all. My feeling this way doesn't mean I think that every person asking certain questions is like train boy. Some questions simply come from people wanting something in their lives. The answers are where too many people then get thrown under buses labeled ' should/don't because you are_____ '.


----------



## CastingPearls

There was little difference between that thread and the makeup thread (posted by the same person) and the tone was the same as in "I have a friend who..." which is disingenuous and transparent. It was pointed out in the makeup thread over and over again why it was divisive and yet the clothing thread appeared couched the same way.

Yes, we were all noobs. How much slack do we cut budding FAs when they spout idiotic divisive things too? Not much. It's often nipped in the bud or at least people air their grievances much as they have with these two threads. A lot of people who aren't particularly sensitive were hurt by the comments (I know--I spoke with some) so dismissing it as people being overly sensitive IS insensitive--hey..not everyone is as evolved as you, dear...there are fatties of every size, shape and mentality and they deserve as much consideration as the noob who's read enough of HER OWN THREADS to see the direction it was barreling in like a train on fire. (oy train memes) 

You want to forgive and cut slack--go you. We all do to some degree but just as you don't want anyone to judge seemingly hamhanded or genuinely curious queries, do please allow the rest of us to say, 'Not so fast', particularly in light of and so soon after the first thread. That's our option too, isn't it?


----------



## Lovelyone

As for saying "not so fast", I never said people weren't entitled to their opinion/option. Nor did I say that you shouldn't have some emotional reaction when you feel that something was said that was hurtful. in fact, the first line of my last paragraph is me basically agreeing that the thread turned into a fat bashing thread. I only spoke to my own opinion and experiences. I don't recall ever saying to overlook and/or forgive when an FA goes astray, only that it might be a good idea to remember a time when you wrote something on these forums that didn't go over so well. Not everyone was endowed with eloquence. In fact, I am pretty sure that I err'ed on the side of caution by referring to my OWN experiences. I'm not saying, by any means that I am more "evolved" than anyone else on these forums and if you re-read the last two lines of my previous posting you will see that I said exactly the opposite of that.


----------



## CastingPearls

Lovelyone said:


> As for saying "not so fast", I never said people weren't entitled to their opinion/option. Nor did I say that you shouldn't have some emotional reaction when you feel that something was said that was hurtful. in fact, the first line of my last paragraph is me basically agreeing that the thread turned into a fat bashing thread. I only spoke to my own opinion and experiences. I don't recall ever saying to overlook and/or forgive when an FA goes astray, only that it might be a good idea to remember a time when you wrote something on these forums that didn't go over so well. Not everyone was endowed with eloquence. In fact, I am pretty sure that I err'ed on the side of caution by referring to my OWN experiences. I'm not saying, by any means that I am more "evolved" than anyone else on these forums and if you re-read the last two lines of my previous posting you will see that I said exactly the opposite of that.


I was speaking generally, not to you specifically. If I were referring to you specifically I would have quoted you or addressed you by name.


----------



## Lovelyone

CastingPearls said:


> I was speaking generally, not to you specifically.



Sorry Elaine...I figured that since I specifically mentioned the newbs (and didnt recall that anyone else had)--and you also commented on the newbs--that you WERE speaking to me specifically. I apologize for any misunderstanding.


----------



## Surlysomething

Low self esteem night.


----------



## Famouslastwords

Amanda, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you did indeed have the same struggle I do, as an ssbbw, to find clothes that fit. Also because you're in another country you may find it harder to find clothes that fit, I hear Australia isn't exactly a size positive country either. Really though, a lot of people have got upset because of that thread. While I still manage to dress very well, it comes to quite a cost to my pocket book, and there are days I'm sure where I don't look my best because I choose to wear the pants that fit and not the pants that look nice.

Amy, maybe you struggle just as much as we do because you're in the UK, but in the U.S. someone your size has MUCH more options that someone my size, and that the God's honest truth. (Like I'd love to shop at Evans, but to be honest, it's not even an option--I think they're UK but you can ship to U.S. no? I dunno I just took a look at the sizes and said ok I guess not.) If you think you struggle a lot just think what a UK SSBBW must be struggling with. Because you know those catalog sizes only go up so high. Yes, we're all in the same proverbial boat here, but we're not all carrying the same load.


----------



## penguin

I'm going to make my own clothes, with the help of a friend. I'll get her to help me make some patterns for skirts and dresses that I like, because I've never done that, and then we can pick out the fabrics and make them. There is an extreme shortage of skirts in stores here, which is just ridiculous. And what they have tends to all be in horizontal panels, which I'm not a fan of. Plus, there's this ridiculous trend of using fabric that's pretty much see through! What's up with that? I just need to get the money together to go fabric and accessories shopping, and then we'll get started. I'm looking forward to it.


----------



## butch

another way that fat people have to pay more for clothes is that when one is on a budget and fat, they can't go and shop at thrift stores likes thinner people can. My partner finds all kinds of great items at thrift stores, and I'm lucky to find one or two items, if at all, when I go. It makes me jealous at times, especially when it comes to vintage clothing.


----------



## Vespertine

Gah, the clothes issue. 

I too have always had thrift envy. And I totally get what lovelyone says, many of the women who sympathize with me about clothing issues are the super skinny and short/tall women (they also know the perils of mechanical sizing!). Even when I find things that fit they don't actually fit...

I plateau out at around the same size I was when I was 15, I've been significantly smaller for a year otherwise pretty much the same, which means usually shopping through catalogs or online with occasional 'eureka!' finds in shops. The one year I went down to US22, it actually depressed me how many clothing options opened up to me. I felt like, retroactively wronged, it was horribly depressing. Hard to admit or even verbalize, because I got all these beautiful clothes, couldn't stop buying them. But they hurt me somehow too and I didn't enjoy them, gave most of them away unused with tags still attached. Just didn't want to look at them anymore. Like I got the message I didn't deserve them at my 'plateau' size, which was...still me! Every time I wore those clothes it was present with me, finally, how much I was arbitrarily denied all those years, the subtle ways I was being told I was worthless...and STILL was being told I was worthless, since I was the same exact person. I really couldn't navigate that patch of inner conflict at the time, and idk that I've unpacked it even years later.


----------



## verucassault

i like my roommate i really do, but he plays in water. why does the water have to run for 5 minutes for you to wash a damn fork. and you are using hot water which triggers the combi which uses gas that i pay for. also how much paper towel can one person use a day. i get it, maybe you dont like using sponges but that shit is not free. alternating purchases is not adequate because you use it at a much faster rate than i do. you look at a piece of paper towel and then throw it in the bin. wtf? i want to suggest we have seperate toilet paper and kitchen roll but its seems so petty, but it totally chaps my ass that i have to support your paper product habit!


----------



## luscious_lulu

Ever have one of those days where you want to cry for no reason at all? Well, that's me today.


----------



## penguin

luscious_lulu said:


> Ever have one of those days where you want to cry for no reason at all? Well, that's me today.



Hormones and lack of sleep do that to me


----------



## luscious_lulu

penguin said:


> Hormones and lack of sleep do that to me



(((hugs))) I was/am tired & headachy


----------



## Lovelyone

luscious_lulu said:


> Ever have one of those days where you want to cry for no reason at all? Well, that's me today.



I've been having some of these days, too--but I have a reason. Sending you good vibes.


----------



## Deven

I've been losing weight at the pressure of my mother, and I stepped on a scale today and saw a poundage drop. I feel as if I'm trying to win my mother's affection by losing this weight, and I confess that it makes me feel awful. I've been watching what I eat, I don't eat what I want anymore, and I'm constantly hungry. Just what she says about me, what my brother says about me, and what my grandmother say about me are all forcing me to cave. If I'm happy with how I look, why can't they just leave me alone?


----------



## aocutiepi

DevenDoom said:


> I've been losing weight at the pressure of my mother, and I stepped on a scale today and saw a poundage drop. I feel as if I'm trying to win my mother's affection by losing this weight, and I confess that it makes me feel awful. I've been watching what I eat, I don't eat what I want anymore, and I'm constantly hungry. Just what she says about me, what my brother says about me, and what my grandmother say about me are all forcing me to cave. If I'm happy with how I look, why can't they just leave me alone?



They likely can't fathom how you could be happy with how you look. Which is sad, but understandable. They hear those negative messages about fat loud and clear but they usually don't look any further into them. Too much is taken at face value. If you say you are happy, they should listen to you and respect it, but it seems like our loving, supportive families  tend to be the place we get the most puzzled looks from. Sending big hugs your way. Stay strong.


----------



## AmazingAmy

I confess that due to a combination spots, lack of vitamin D and hirsutism, I currently have a face only a mother could love.


----------



## Filly

I confess that I'm having a bad mental day. I'm feeling ugly and my weight gain has upset me which is unusual. Not looking forward to going home to Oz and not being able to buy clothes which fit. Worrying what my work-mates will think when I return. The usual insecurity crap! I'll probably be back to my confident, self-assured BBW self in a few days, but right now I feel....like crying.


----------



## Dmitra

I confess I always want to give virtual hugs to everyone who's having a sad time of it. *HUGS* I may not type it out enough but I'm thinking and feeling it.

I also confess to being a bit irritated with myself for worrying about the age thing after finally coming to accept my fat self. I turned 47 a couple of months ago, which I'm personally fine with. It appears, though, that I've segued from the culture's asexuality of fatness to the asexuality of agedness.

I guess my main irritation is still the same after all these years: Being negatively judged purely on one thing whether it was amount of body fat, depression, sex, beauty, or age. Of course I'm giving these perceived biases the mental middle finger but it's still a PITA.


----------



## CastingPearls

A few of my old girlfriends called me to tell me that another close friend's mom died, which is horrible in itself. One of my friends, who was one of my bridesmaids, also announced that she made the decision to have WLS and before I could say a word she went on a rant about how disgusting her fat was and how she was going to follow through UNLIKE ME because she wanted to have a life. She knew that I had considered it myself years ago and had followed through all the way up to the date of surgery when I changed my mind and chose an alternate route, successfully IMO, but to imply as she clearly did that I had somehow failed by not following through with surgery really floored me. 

I don't know if it's because she's psyching herself up for the surgery and the life she'll have instead but I got the distinct impression that she thought her life was going to be perfect once she was thin and that my deciding not to have surgery, remaining fat, and not hating it was somehow a character flaw and when I pointed out how I was hearing that, she said, 'truth hurts' like a stranger. 

I congratulated her on her decision and told her to keep in touch but the truth is either I don't know her anymore or I never did. This makes me really sad.


----------



## AmazingAmy

CastingPearls said:


> A few of my old girlfriends called me to tell me that another close friend's mom died, which is horrible in itself. One of my friends, who was one of my bridesmaids, also announced that she made the decision to have WLS and before I could say a word she went on a rant about how disgusting her fat was and how she was going to follow through UNLIKE ME because she wanted to have a life. She knew that I had considered it myself years ago and had followed through all the way up to the date of surgery when I changed my mind and chose an alternate route, successfully in my case, but to imply as she clearly did that I had somehow failed by not following through with surgery really floored me.
> 
> I don't know if it's because she's psyching herself up for the surgery and the life she'll have instead but I got the distinct impression that she thought her life was going to be perfect once she was thin and that my deciding not to have surgery, remaining fat, and not hating it was somehow a character flaw and when I pointed out how I was hearing that, she said, 'truth hurts' like a stranger.
> 
> I congratulated her on her decision and told her to keep in touch but the truth is either I don't know her anymore or I never did.



Good on you for biting your tongue and wishing her well, Elaine. A lesser woman probably would have given her a thorough undressing and made sure the reality check hurt. You can know someone their whole life, but when they become militant about something that really effects them, then... like you say, you may as well not know them at all.


----------



## HayleeRose

IC that I am horrible with social interactions. Sometimes 
I just really have NOTHING to say... and then I come off 
bitchy or shy or insecure.. but its none of those really..
&&
IC I hate the whole period of time when you are hanging 
out with someone, but you dont know if they like you, 
but you like them, but think its too early to bring it up...


----------



## Jes

My vibrator caught on fire 2 nights ago. 

but that isn't the confession. The confession is that I was pretty close and tried to finish! talk about a race against the clock. When my hand started getting burned, I decide to cut my losses and cut the power.


----------



## Surlysomething

Jes said:


> My vibrator caught on fire 2 nights ago.
> 
> but that isn't the confession. The confession is that I was pretty close and tried to finish! talk about a race against the clock. When my hand started getting burned, I decide to cut my losses and cut the power.


 

Wow. Too much information.

Haha.


----------



## Jes

Surlysomething said:


> Wow. Too much information.
> 
> Haha.



Confessions should never be boring, my dear. If they are, then they're just facts.


----------



## Surlysomething

Jes said:


> Confessions should never be boring, my dear. If they are, then they're just facts.


 

Couldn't hit the Sex board?


----------



## Jes

Surlysomething said:


> Couldn't hit the Sex board?



Are you being serious? I can't tell.


----------



## Surlysomething

Jes said:


> Are you being serious? I can't tell.


 

Haha. Well, yeah. There is a place for that kind of thing, no?


----------



## Jes

Surlysomething said:


> Haha. Well, yeah. There is a place for that kind of thing, no?



Ah, I couldn't tell. Well, I thought I'd just share something funny to make the ladies here laugh, but I am sorry that my confession offended you. If you report it as an offensive post, the mods can probably remove it for everyone.


----------



## Surlysomething

Jes said:


> Ah. Well, I thought I'd just share something funny to make the ladies here laugh, but I am sorry that my confession offended you. If you report it as an offensive post, the mods can probably remove it for you.


 

I never said it offended ME. And I was laughing the whole time.

But there is a place for sexual stuff. I wonder why people intentionally post sexual posts when not all people would appreciate it that's all.


----------



## Jes

Surlysomething said:


> I never said it offended ME. .



unfortunately, our posts crossed in the mail, as I changed 'you' to read 'everyone,' which addresses your complaint, I think.


----------



## Surlysomething

Jes said:


> unfortunately, our posts crossed in the mail, as I changed 'you' to read 'everyone,' which addresses your complaint, I think.


 

Who said I complained? I commented.


----------



## Jes

Surlysomething said:


> Who said I complained? I commented.



Well I apologize no matter what, Surlysomething.


----------



## Surlysomething

Jes said:


> Well I apologize no matter what, Surlysomething.


 

There was really no need to apologize. I thought the "ha ha" that I wrote would have evoked a different reply is all.



Carry on, people...nothing to see here. Haha. :happy:


----------



## CastingPearls

I thought it was as funny as hell.


----------



## olwen

CastingPearls said:


> A few of my old girlfriends called me to tell me that another close friend's mom died, which is horrible in itself. One of my friends, who was one of my bridesmaids, also announced that she made the decision to have WLS and before I could say a word she went on a rant about how disgusting her fat was and how she was going to follow through UNLIKE ME because she wanted to have a life. She knew that I had considered it myself years ago and had followed through all the way up to the date of surgery when I changed my mind and chose an alternate route, successfully IMO, but to imply as she clearly did that I had somehow failed by not following through with surgery really floored me.
> 
> I don't know if it's because she's psyching herself up for the surgery and the life she'll have instead but I got the distinct impression that she thought her life was going to be perfect once she was thin and that my deciding not to have surgery, remaining fat, and not hating it was somehow a character flaw and when I pointed out how I was hearing that, she said, 'truth hurts' like a stranger.
> 
> I congratulated her on her decision and told her to keep in touch but the truth is either I don't know her anymore or I never did. This makes me really sad.



Sorry to hear that. I know how you feel. My best friend had WLS a few years ago and we're not as close as we used to be as a result. When she first got the surgery I told her I didn't agree with it but that I would support her, and I have. But, despite knowing how I feel about it she still tries to convince me to have the surgery too. There's no way that is gonna happen. She was super sized her whole life and now she's all to eager to forget what that was like. We just don't relate the same way anymore. I had no idea she hated being fat so much, so I started to wonder if I had ever really known her at all. Sucks. I suppose most friendships falter at some point.


----------



## Tallulah

I confess that until I stumbled across this sight, I had absolutely no idea that FA's existed. I have led a sheltered life indeed.


----------



## BigCutieMeg

Jes said:


> My vibrator caught on fire 2 nights ago.
> 
> but that isn't the confession. The confession is that I was pretty close and tried to finish! talk about a race against the clock. When my hand started getting burned, I decide to cut my losses and cut the power.



This just made me laugh my ass off!!! haha we need to be friends... mines ready to light fire aswell it gets sooo hott... too hott.. haha!! love your post


----------



## BigCutieMeg

I confess that for a model im pretty insecure... behind the camera I feel like a million bucks but honestly.. thats the only time I have FULL self esteem... :blush:


----------



## ButlerGirl09

Jes said:


> My vibrator caught on fire 2 nights ago.
> 
> but that isn't the confession. The confession is that I was pretty close and tried to finish! talk about a race against the clock. When my hand started getting burned, I decide to cut my losses and cut the power.



Hahaha This made me giggle out loud. And I can't blame you for trying to race to finish because I'm sure I would have too!


----------



## AmazingAmy

I just tried to wax my own chin, reckoning it'd be cheaper than going to a salon. Not cheaper, and not effective. Skin is deliciously soft but HAIRS ARE ALL STILL THERE. Feck sake.


----------



## AuntHen

AmazingAmy said:


> I just tried to wax my own chin, reckoning it'd be cheaper than going to a salon. Not cheaper, and not effective. Skin is deliciously soft but HAIRS ARE ALL STILL THERE. Feck sake.



Oh Amy! I don't know whether to giggle or give you a hug! Maybe both... and you know my giggle is with *total *understanding! 

We should start a "HAIR SUX" thread  hahaha


----------



## luscious_lulu

Jes said:


> My vibrator caught on fire 2 nights ago.
> 
> but that isn't the confession. The confession is that I was pretty close and tried to finish! talk about a race against the clock. When my hand started getting burned, I decide to cut my losses and cut the power.



:bow:
This is seriously funny!


----------



## luscious_lulu

AmazingAmy said:


> I just tried to wax my own chin, reckoning it'd be cheaper than going to a salon. Not cheaper, and not effective. Skin is deliciously soft but HAIRS ARE ALL STILL THERE. Feck sake.



I tried to wax my own legs once. All I succeeded in doing was burning myself.


----------



## Donna

How does one explain burns to the hand from a flaming sex toy?


----------



## CastingPearls

Donna said:


> How does one explain burns to the hand from a flaming sex toy?


Technically she'd be telling the truth that she was putting out a fire.


----------



## ashmamma84

IC if my eyes rolled any harder they would fall out my head.

ETA - Jes' story was a hoot!


----------



## Donna

CastingPearls said:


> Technically she'd be telling the truth that she was putting out a fire.



I'll never be able to listen to the Doors' "Come On Baby Light My Fire" again...


----------



## Isa

Jes said:


> My vibrator caught on fire 2 nights ago.
> 
> but that isn't the confession. The confession is that I was pretty close and tried to finish! talk about a race against the clock. When my hand started getting burned, I decide to cut my losses and cut the power.



Way funny Jes. I bet many, myself included, would have tried to do the same thing.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Jes said:


> My vibrator caught on fire 2 nights ago.
> 
> but that isn't the confession. The confession is that I was pretty close and tried to finish! talk about a race against the clock. When my hand started getting burned, I decide to cut my losses and cut the power.



Awesome.  I have had sparks, but never fire. I admire your tenacity! (I mean that seriously.)


----------



## Famouslastwords

mcbeth said:


> Awesome.  I have had sparks, but never fire. I admire your tenacity! (I mean that seriously.)



Are these vibrators that plug in? I don't get it. I obviously know nothing of it. I've only had one vibrator in my life and it was battery operated and I broke it.


----------



## Inhibited

Jes said:


> My vibrator caught on fire 2 nights ago.
> 
> but that isn't the confession. The confession is that I was pretty close and tried to finish! talk about a race against the clock. When my hand started getting burned, I decide to cut my losses and cut the power.




I confess that i have never owned a vibrator and have only seen them on tv... i had no idea that they ran on electricity i thought they ran on batteries only..


----------



## bonified

I once took back a vibrator that i spent 140$ on that faulted intermittently. I can't imagine the fkr whos job it is to service them.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Famouslastwords said:


> Are these vibrators that plug in? I don't get it. I obviously know nothing of it. I've only had one vibrator in my life and it was battery operated and I broke it.



I don't know about Jes' vibrator, but mine was the bullet kind that has a cord attached to a controller (for speed/intensity) that has batteries in it. Over time the cord got kind of frayed in one place, and there were some sparks. 

But let's hear the scoop on the vibrator fire, Jes!


----------



## CastingPearls

Off the top of my head, an extremely popular plug-in model often called the Cadillac of vibrators is the Hitachi Magic Wand. I wouldn't mind having one but I stick mainly to rabbits and bullets.


----------



## Jes

CastingPearls said:


> the Hitachi Magic Wand. .



BULLSEYE.

Once you go Hitachi, you never go ...bitachi.

anyway, i don't want to say too much b/c my comments might well not be appropriate here, but i had to 'fess up when someone guessed correctly!


----------



## bigsexy920

How about "Burning Ring of Fire" ..... that may be more of a VD thing though.


Donna said:


> I'll never be able to listen to the Doors' "Come On Baby Light My Fire" again...


----------



## mossystate

The self esteem of all fat women matter, and when there is ugliness, it should not be tolerated.


----------



## CastingPearls

Jes said:


> BULLSEYE.
> 
> Once you go Hitachi, you never go ...bitachi.
> 
> anyway, i don't want to say too much b/c my comments might well not be appropriate here, but i had to 'fess up when someone guessed correctly!


I had a feeling it was but I didn't want to 'out' you. LOL (or 'short out' you?? LOL)


----------



## Surlysomething

You know, I get that people don't like me around here. And honestly, i'm cool with that because we all have differing opinions and likes and dislikes. But to be passive-aggressive about it is super-lame. I've never been a Pollyanna and never will be. I do think there's a time and place for everything and I don't mind saying it. 

I won't apologize for voicing my opinion on anything and I never will. If that makes me unpopular, so be it. I would prefer that people go one on one with me about things, but if dog-piling is what everyone is into, that is fine too.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Surlysomething said:


> You know, I get that people don't like me around here. And honestly, i'm cool with that because we all have differing opinions and likes and dislikes. But to be passive-aggressive about it is super-lame. I've never been a Pollyanna and never will be. I do think there's a time and place for everything and I don't mind saying it.
> 
> I won't apologize for voicing my opinion on anything and I never will. If that makes me unpopular, so be it. I would prefer that people go one on one with me about things, but if dog-piling is what everyone is into, that is fine too.



You shouldn't have to apologize for your feelings. I can only speak for myself, but my intention wasn't to dis you. I truly felt the post was funny & wanted to re-assure the op.


----------



## mossystate

I was going to say something, but most women are nothing but.........so, errr, no.


----------



## CastingPearls

Surlysomething said:


> You know, I get that people don't like me around here. And honestly, i'm cool with that because we all have differing opinions and likes and dislikes. But to be passive-aggressive about it is super-lame. I've never been a Pollyanna and never will be. I do think there's a time and place for everything and I don't mind saying it.
> 
> I won't apologize for voicing my opinion on anything and I never will. If that makes me unpopular, so be it. I would prefer that people go one on one with me about things, but if dog-piling is what everyone is into, that is fine too.



My appreciating someone else's post that you might not like isn't a slam on you. I think you know by now that if I had a problem with something you said, I'd tell you. I appreciate that you're upfront about how you feel and so am I, which is why I chose to comment on Jes' vibrator post because it's how I feel. My post/s had nothing to do with you at all.


----------



## Famouslastwords

I don't see how my post can be construed as dog piling, I was just genuinely curious. I do think it's BBW-related, as it can sometimes be harder to find a man because society tells us fat is ugly, so a lot of us turn to our vibrators. We all have needs. It's natural.


----------



## Inhibited

I confess that i would have liked to have commented on a thread that is now closed so that others knew a wasn't a coward or afraid of the backlash for supporting someone that is so unpopular..


----------



## 1love_emily

bonified said:


> I once took back a vibrator that i spent 140$ on that faulted intermittently. I can't imagine the fkr whos job it is to service them.



HAHA servicing a vibrator, that services another person 

Am I the only one who caught this?

I hope not (that makes me seem like a creeper/perv, which I'm not!) {err, I'm a little creepy }

ANYWAY

My confession for right now is that I'm too afraid of rejection to just ask the punk out who I have a crush on. I let something I heard get in the way of me asking him out last time, and I've let the same thing get in my way.


----------



## isamarie69

Jes said:


> BULLSEYE.
> 
> Once you go Hitachi, you never go ...bitachi.
> 
> anyway, i don't want to say too much b/c my comments might well not be appropriate here, but i had to 'fess up when someone guessed correctly!



My Hitachi (oh how I miss it) caught fire too, in the cord. I have tryed replacing it with cheap imitations, that do not work, last year I bought a shiatzu? Massager because it looked quite fun, and yup it really is, it rolls and spins its crazy! I still vote Hitachi and the shower hose number 1, not together mind you. But the new ones a nice alternative!


----------



## Famouslastwords

isamarie69 said:


> My Hitachi (oh how I miss it) *caught fire too*, in the cord. I have tryed replacing it with cheap imitations, that do not work, last year I bought a shiatzu? Massager because it looked quite fun, and yup it really is, it rolls and spins its crazy! I still vote Hitachi and the shower hose number 1, not together mind you. But the new ones a nice alternative!



Wow that's two (or was it three?) Hitachi's catching fire on a relatively small board. I'm guessing they're not very safe.


----------



## penguin

Famouslastwords said:


> Wow that's two (or was it three?) Hitachi's catching fire on a relatively small board. I'm guessing they're not very safe.



Maybe they were just all overused! I hear they form quite the addiction.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

penguin said:


> Maybe they were just all overused! I hear they form quite the addiction.



They are freakin' awesome - hey...a girl has needs lol :blush:


----------



## penguin

PunkyGurly74 said:


> They are freakin' awesome - hey...a girl has needs lol :blush:



I've heard lots of good things about them, but they're really hard to get here. When you can get them, they're expensive and you often have to buy a power adaptor too...but I'm still curious!


----------



## mossystate

I think I am in the minority. I remember the wand...and I didn't like it. Maybe they are different now? I recall way too intense...getting numb...shallow orgasms.


----------



## LovelyLiz

CastingPearls said:


> My appreciating someone else's post that you might not like isn't a slam on you. I think you know by now that if I had a problem with something you said, I'd tell you. I appreciate that you're upfront about how you feel and so am I, which is why I chose to comment on Jes' vibrator post because it's how I feel. My post/s had nothing to do with you at all.



Yes, I agree with this 100%.



Famouslastwords said:


> I don't see how my post can be construed as dog piling, I was just genuinely curious. I do think it's BBW-related, as it can sometimes be harder to find a man because society tells us fat is ugly, so a lot of us turn to our vibrators. We all have needs. It's natural.



Actually, don't you think finding a man to have sex with is the easy part? I feel like as fat women, we have all kinds of sex options...it's finding someone who wants a relationship, and who you're actually compatible with that's the issue.



mossystate said:


> I think I am in the minority. I remember the wand...and I didn't like it. Maybe they are different now? I recall way too intense...getting numb...shallow orgasms.



I also remember it being super intense to the point of numbing. 
Also, this is making me think we really REALLY need a sex toy thread to share ideas, thoughts, etc.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Famouslastwords said:


> Wow that's two (or was it three?) Hitachi's catching fire on a relatively small board. I'm guessing they're not very safe.



Mine hasn't ever caught fire but it does get quite hot.


----------



## Famouslastwords

mcbeth said:


> Actually, don't you think finding a man to have sex with is the easy part? I feel like as fat women, we have all kinds of sex options...it's finding someone who wants a relationship, and who you're actually compatible with that's the issue.



Oh I do, what I meant was, like, (and I know I'm generalizing) I've noticed a lot of women don't really want sex outside of a relationship, and finding a good relationship is hard when you're a bbw or ssbbw. Am I backpedalling fast enough? At least I'm speaking from my experience. When I was dating it seemed like all the guys wanted was sex, and I didn't want it outside of a relationship. There's nothing wrong with FWB situation, but I find that there's a lot of women on this site are in stages in their life where they're looking for relationships and finding it hard. I don't think I'm making any sense.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Famouslastwords said:


> Oh I do, what I meant was, like, (and I know I'm generalizing) I've noticed a lot of women don't really want sex outside of a relationship, and finding a good relationship is hard when you're a bbw or ssbbw. Am I backpedalling fast enough? At least I'm speaking from my experience. When I was dating it seemed like all the guys wanted was sex, and I didn't want it outside of a relationship. There's nothing wrong with FWB situation, but I find that there's a lot of women on this site are in stages in their life where they're looking for relationships and finding it hard. I don't think I'm making any sense.



Are you saying that fat women are not sexually desirable!?! HOW. DARE. YOU.  jk

Yeah - you make perfect sense. It is harder to find a good relationship as a fat woman, at least in my experience. And yes, many women are not super into the whole FwB thing, so you're right on. I was only thinking about the reality that pretty much any woman can find sex any time she wants it, but not really thinking about some of the things that make certain sex situations less-than-desirable for the majority of women.


----------



## bonified

A good fuck buddy is an awesome thing, several if you're blessed is better lol. I think if your ongoing interactions are based purely on sex itself then thats a relationship of another level entirely. It was surprising and wildly liberating to me to find that level of trust and lust without all the ghey boring crap. 


So, isamarie mentions shower hose, and i have to introduce you to Jorge - just typing his name reminds me of muttering ai ai papi with my mouth stuffed, biting a wet face cloth. He's a dear friend tah dah...my hand held shower. 
It is a great pleasure not to have to share my bathroom. View attachment Jorge & co.JPG


----------



## penguin

IC that I'm really starting to love my body again. I just keep looking at this picture I took of my butt, and damn, I'm loving it. IC again how happy I am to have found Dims, as being here has really helped me with this


----------



## isamarie69

penguin said:


> Maybe they were just all overused! I hear they form quite the addiction.



I had mine for about 8 years, before the "mishap" lol so they really are quite sturdy. But yes can become an addiction a very very good addiction lol.


----------



## isamarie69

bonified said:


> A good fuck buddy is an awesome thing, several if you're blessed is better lol. I think if your ongoing interactions are based purely on sex itself then thats a relationship of another level entirely. It was surprising and wildly liberating to me to find that level of trust and lust without all the ghey boring crap.
> 
> 
> So, isamarie mentions shower hose, and i have to introduce you to Jorge - just typing his name reminds me of muttering ai ai papi with my mouth stuffed, biting a wet face cloth. He's a dear friend tah dah...my hand held shower.
> It is a great pleasure not to have to share my bathroom. View attachment 89856



I see Jorge! But who's his friend in thr background?


----------



## CarlaSixx

I spent around 200$ in clothes in the past 3 days. On what would have cost me around 600$, if not more. The store I went to is having a 70% off almost everything sale, and I stocked up on things I needed. Feels great. I got a certain sweater one day, wore it the next, loved it so much that I returned on the day after that to purchase it in every other colour as well!  Soooo comfy! And so hard to find long sleeved things in that store, so it was a good thing I stocked up on them.

Also... IC that it was really nice talking with a fellow BBW at the bus stop yesterday about clothing sales and problems finding clothing, waiting until there's a sale, and about exercise. It was nice to meet someone who really truly does get what it's like, because most of the plus size people I know aren't like me. So that was pretty awesome  Was just what I needed, actually.


----------



## Jes

Surlysomething said:


> You know, I get that people don't like me around here. And honestly, i'm cool with that because we all have differing opinions and likes and dislikes. But to be passive-aggressive about it is super-lame. I've never been a Pollyanna and never will be. I do think there's a time and place for everything and I don't mind saying it.
> 
> I won't apologize for voicing my opinion on anything and I never will. If that makes me unpopular, so be it. I would prefer that people go one on one with me about things, but if dog-piling is what everyone is into, that is fine too.


Surly, I don't have any kind of problem with you whatsoever. Your comment alludes to the fact that you have (or think you have) some kind of reputation (for lack of a better term!) but I assure you, I don't know anything about you, or that. I can't even recall a single other post of yours other than the ones in this thread, so there you go! My apology was genuine.


----------



## Punkin1024

Thought I'd better post somewhere to let people know I'm still around. I've been reading, just not much to say lately. I've been fighting some kind of new flu bug that just seems to never go away. I've been going to work for two weeks feeling lousy, but no fever, so couldn't justify going to the Dr. or staying at home. I've finally got a week's vacation so, hopefully, I'll knock this stuff out and be back to my usual cheerful, energetic self just in time to return to work.


----------



## Surlysomething

Jes said:


> Surly, I don't have any kind of problem with you whatsoever. Your comment alludes to the fact that you have (or think you have) some kind of reputation (for lack of a better term!) but I assure you, I don't know anything about you, or that. I can't even recall a single other post of yours other than the ones in this thread, so there you go! My apology was genuine.



Thank you, Jes. I really never intended for all the hoopla. For the most part I was just kidding around. But I often feel backed in a corner by comments and anything I say to "defend" myself comes across wrong.

*Vibrators for everyone! *:wubu:


----------



## Inhibited

penguin said:


> IC that I'm really starting to love my body again. I just keep looking at this picture I took of my butt, and damn, I'm loving it. IC again how happy I am to have found Dims, as being here has really helped me with this



Bugga i can't rep you, but this is a great post.. am glad your happy with yourself..... I think your pics look great too


----------



## penguin

Inhibited said:


> Bugga i can't rep you, but this is a great post.. am glad your happy with yourself..... I think your pics look great too



Thank you  

In my pre-motherhood days, I used to love me as I was, and felt great about my body, but since I put me on hold I lost that. I have to thank the guy I'm seeing/sleeping with, as he loves my bum and curves, and it's because I was trying to get my head around my big ass being a _good_ thing that I went searching for BBW forums and found Dims! And being here has been so great for me and my self esteem.


----------



## Lovelyone

Punkin1024 said:


> Thought I'd better post somewhere to let people know I'm still around. I've been reading, just not much to say lately. I've been fighting some kind of new flu bug that just seems to never go away. I've been going to work for two weeks feeling lousy, but no fever, so couldn't justify going to the Dr. or staying at home. I've finally got a week's vacation so, hopefully, I'll knock this stuff out and be back to my usual cheerful, energetic self just in time to return to work.



Glad to have heard from you Punkin. I had that flu virus thingie for almost 3 weeks which then turned into bronchitis...and then into pneumonia over Christmas. I hope you fare better than I did. Get well soon.


----------



## bonified

isamarie69 said:


> I see Jorge! But who's his friend in thr background?


That would be Marvin.


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC I totally have a shopping/clothe addiction. *sigh* 
I did get a $150 dollar dress for $40 though!


----------



## Famouslastwords

penguin said:


> Thank you
> 
> In my pre-motherhood days, I used to love me as I was, and felt great about my body, but since I put me on hold I lost that. I have to thank the guy I'm seeing/sleeping with, as he loves my bum and curves, and it's because I was trying to get my head around my big ass being a _good_ thing that I went searching for BBW forums and found Dims! And being here has been so great for me and my self esteem.



Well you're an absolute doll, your fiery personality matches your beautiful hair and your gorgeous curves match, your gorgeous face of course!


----------



## penguin

Famouslastwords said:


> Well you're an absolute doll, your fiery personality matches your beautiful hair and your gorgeous curves match, your gorgeous face of course!



:blush: you're a doll too!


----------



## HottiMegan

penguin said:


> Thank you
> 
> In my pre-motherhood days, I used to love me as I was, and felt great about my body, but since I put me on hold I lost that. I have to thank the guy I'm seeing/sleeping with, as he loves my bum and curves, and it's because I was trying to get my head around my big ass being a _good_ thing that I went searching for BBW forums and found Dims! And being here has been so great for me and my self esteem.



I'm glad you're finding yourself again  I haven't done that yet. I am slowly starting to devote some more time to myself. It's hard with a toddler around  I'm really glad you found your way here.


----------



## Tania

So today was my costumers' guild's annual open house. I went as a new board member and modelled in our "this is the shit you wear to the events we're having this year" fashion show. I wore my linen and eyelet natural form gown from around 1880, which has ruched hip panels on the skirt that were meant to mimick 18th century panniers. The thing is, this is natural form, so there's no constructed bustle and no padding anywhere save the petticoat behind the knees. 

Anyway, this woman walks up to me, pokes my hip and goes, "So, did you have to pad this? Oh yeah, you did."

Except I didn't. "No, that's my REAL HIP!" I exclaimed, thoroughly amused and totally not offended. The poor lady was mortified, but I thought it was hilarious. 

I do corset and do my best to recreate realistic historical underpinnings, but in all seriousness I'm ACTUALLY SHAPED THAT WAY. Nobody believes me until they either feel my shit up or see me naked. 

And that's my confession for today.


----------



## penguin

HottiMegan said:


> I'm glad you're finding yourself again  I haven't done that yet. I am slowly starting to devote some more time to myself. It's hard with a toddler around  I'm really glad you found your way here.



Thanks  Kids are hard work, and finding any time to yourself can be very hard at times. My daughter is inching closer to 4, so her growing independence makes it a lot easier to focus on me again. It also helps that now her father is finally paying child support properly, I can have a bit more money around, which means I'm not having to spend all of my money on her, and I get to treat myself a little


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I confess I do believe i am the worlds largest lizard..ugh I hate winter - dries me out so badly... I need moisturized all over!!!!


----------



## AmazingAmy

Tomorrow will be the first time in weeks that I'm going out to see a friend. Not only do I get to have a meal out, catch up, andwindow shop around town... I also get to wear make-up. God, how I've missed it.


----------



## scroogey

i just cried because i don't deserve him or his kindness. hes too lovely for me.


----------



## Isa

Punkin1024 said:


> Thought I'd better post somewhere to let people know I'm still around. I've been reading, just not much to say lately. I've been fighting some kind of new flu bug that just seems to never go away. I've been going to work for two weeks feeling lousy, but no fever, so couldn't justify going to the Dr. or staying at home. I've finally got a week's vacation so, hopefully, I'll knock this stuff out and be back to my usual cheerful, energetic self just in time to return to work.



You poor thing. Fight the good fight and get well soon!


----------



## 1love_emily

I've got a date with an amazing boy on Saturday. 

Confession: It's not a date, merely two friends seeing a movie. But how I wish it was a date! I wish he would wrap his arms around me and hold me tight and look at me and just love me. He's one of the most fantastic guys I know, totally adorable, sweet, smart, charming, and everything.


----------



## LovelyLiz

scroogey said:


> i just cried because i don't deserve him or his kindness. hes too lovely for me.



Consider this reply a punch in the face, in the kindest possible way. Enjoy the affection, lady!  Happy for you!


----------



## Mishty

I had to add some folks to my ignore list, and block some more from my social networking, because apparently only crazy people fall in love with me. 

People worry me.


----------



## Surlysomething

I confess to being relieved when I get my stupid period because my emotional bullshit disapates for a few weeks. I honestly feel like I can breathe.

I wish there was some way I could go back and chart all the messed up crap in my life and see if it was around those two brutal weeks EVERY TIME. I'm thinking it was. Stupid hormones.


----------



## Tania

I think I know the feeling, Surly. Some months it's like I'm Lon Chaney and it's a full moon. :/ 

And Mishty, I'm sorry to hear that.


----------



## AuntHen

scroogey said:


> i just cried because i don't deserve him or his kindness. hes too lovely for me.



I know what you mean scroogey :happy:


----------



## AmazingAmy

IC I'm tired of seeing the amount of FAs who want a girl but not necessarily a girlfriend. All it says to me is that they want their cake and to eat it... why the fuck can't any of them commit to a person and not just a fat plaything?


----------



## Oirish

Probably because they're guys, Amy. Most do that bs regardless of preference for bbws, thin girls, etc. We're rotten creatures.


----------



## mossystate

Oirish said:


> Probably because they're guys, Amy. Most do that bs regardless of preference for bbws, thin girls, etc. We're rotten creatures.



Some of you are rotten creatures. I don't like that explanation, because it ends up sounding like a trite...dismissive...broad brush approach that continues to allow so many men, in this case, to throw up their hands and say, " eh, it's just how we are ". I know you wanted to offer support ( for whatever reasons ) and you I can believe you do hate when this happens, but, men as a group - not rotten creatures. I know way too many men who don't do this kind of thing.

Anyway...back to BBW confessions.


----------



## Candy_Coated_Clown

It is very dangerous to bring pies back from Marie Callender's and carelessly place them on the kitchen island, _especially_ their lemon cream cheese pies. 

I confess that I can eat an entire pie rather easily if I'm not careful.


----------



## Gingembre

scroogey said:


> i just cried because i don't deserve him or his kindness. hes too lovely for me.





fat9276 said:


> I know what you mean scroogey :happy:



Shuddup, you silly billys. You absolutely deserve it. No more of this nonsense or I'll have to 'do a mcbeth' and punch you both in the face. 




AmazingAmy said:


> IC I'm tired of seeing the amount of FAs who want a girl but not necessarily a girlfriend.





Oirish said:


> Probably because they're guys, Amy. Most do that bs regardless of preference for bbws, thin girls, etc. We're rotten creatures.



Agree with mossy - this is SOME guys....although it feels like MOST guys! Definitely not just FAs though....I'm more after a 'weight blind' sorta guy (by that I mean someone who likes me at various stages of fat, but who won't be preturbed by a desire to lose weight/losing weight/gaining weight/whatever way I happen to be yoyoing)...they do exist in small quantities, but also seem to be mostly in the "girl not girlfriend" category. Grrr.


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC I have a small crush on one of the IT guys @ work.:blush:


----------



## Tracyarts

" I'm more after a 'weight blind' sorta guy (by that I mean someone who likes me at various stages of fat, but who won't be preturbed by a desire to lose weight/losing weight/gaining weight/whatever way I happen to be yoyoing)... "

That's pretty much the only type of guy I have ever been interested in as far as relationship material. Either the ones who truly feel that it's all good when it comes to womens' bodies. Or the ones who happen to like women who fall anywhere on the nonskinny spectum, without placing an emphasis on the "precious, precious poundage". 

I guess the best way to describe it with the guys in my life is that if I gain weight I am not getting more attractive to them. But if I lose weight I'm not getting less attractive to them either. As long as I'm somewhere along the extremely broad nonskinny spectrum, I'm still a big girl, and still what they are attracted to.

And yes, there are guys like that out there, and some of them are interested in relationships. But I've only ever met them outside of the BBW/Size scene. Because they're not really looking for a FAT woman. They're looking for a woman who just happens to not be skinny. In fact, the ones I know who have experienced the BBW/Size scene were very much put off of it because of the emphasis on the poundage. 

Tracy


----------



## Isa

Tracyarts said:


> And yes, there are guys like that out there, and some of them are interested in relationships. But I've only ever met them outside of the BBW/Size scene. Because they're not really looking for a FAT woman. They're looking for a woman who just happens to not be skinny. In fact, the ones I know who have experienced the BBW/Size scene were very much put off of it because of the emphasis on the poundage.
> 
> Tracy



Very interesting Tracy.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I am sick of snow and ice and if I never see it again I will be happy...I am suffering from cabin fever and lack of water...I am so unhappy :-(


----------



## AuntHen

IC that I can't for the life of me, find a deodorant that works really well with my body chemistry/heat!:blush: I even tried Tom's natural stuff... no! I have to keep mixing and changing and it's annoying  Maybe I am just going to have to carry it in my purse and re-apply like lipstick 

I am one of those people with super hot underarms and feet haha


----------



## Isa

fat9276 said:


> IC that I can't for the life of me, find a deodorant that works really well with my body chemistry/heat!:blush: I even tried Tom's natural stuff... no! I have to keep mixing and changing and it's annoying  Maybe I am just going to have to carry it in my purse and re-apply like lipstick
> 
> I am one of those people with super hot underarms and feet haha



Have you tried a Crystal body deodorant? f not, try it. I love it and never let myself run out.


----------



## luscious_lulu

There are clinical strength deodorants available & even prescription strengths. You really should go see your doctor. There are medications & procedures they can use/do. Good luck.


----------



## penguin

Too many years of social conditioning makes it hard for me to want to risk making the first move with men. I tend to assume they're not interested unless they initiate.


----------



## CarlaSixx

Re: hot pits, I'm quite similar. My doctor told me about small Botox injections in the armpits to stop excessive sweating. That scared me. But I found what worked for me is men's deodorant. Especially Degree. Adidas was great but only lasted about 6 hours. Women's stuff, even up to clinical strength, never ever worked for me. But if it says "anti persiperant" it's actually not really a good thing cuz it clogs the pores to make you not sweat.

------

IC I had a moment today on my first day at work where I almost broke down in tears. The training group was told to go to the second level of the building to see other classes and wanted me to join them. When I stayed behind, the trainer turned back to get me and was furious with me that I didn't join the group. I tried telling them that I was too fat to do the stairs, and he said to me "you've got two legs that work, you can join the group." I wanted so badly to cry. Equal opportunity my ass! 

Luckily we got past it, but I was mortified by the whole situation.


----------



## Punkin1024

Today was my last official vacation day. Tomorrow I face a mountain of laundry, and getting things ready for work on Monday. I always get in a blue funk about this time. Also, I twisted my knee yesterday evening and didn't get much sleep last night and have had to baby that knee all day today. Hopefully, it will be back in good working order by Monday.


----------



## Famouslastwords

Punkin1024 said:


> Today was my last official vacation day. Tomorrow I face a mountain of laundry, and getting things ready for work on Monday. I always get in a blue funk about this time. Also, I twisted my knee yesterday evening and didn't get much sleep last night and have had to baby that knee all day today. Hopefully, it will be back in good working order by Monday.



Oh sweetie do what you need to do to feel better, even if it means putting some of the laundry off til another time. I'm sure the family will understand.


----------



## Punkin1024

I was able to put off laundry till later this afternoon - because we had no water. Hubby found the problem and got it fixed about an hour ago. Now he's taking a much deserved and needed nap (he injured his shoulder a few days back). My knee is almost back to normal, just a little sore now.


----------



## AuntHen

Isa said:


> Have you tried a Crystal body deodorant? f not, try it. I love it and never let myself run out.



Isa... thanks! I found this at Walgreens actually yesterday and tried it today. It works (I was sniffing all day to check haha):blush:!! I even went on an hour walk (and it is a bit muggy here in FL) and stayed fresh. I will see how it does all day at work tomorrow. 

Thanks everyone for all your suggestions. The problem is not anything that would require a doctor. It's not excessive wetness, just that my pH level does not really work with the aluminum in regular deodorants. But this Crystal worked today and I am glad that it is a more of a "natural" product. :happy:


----------



## Isa

fat9276 said:


> Isa... thanks! I found this at Walgreens actually yesterday and tried it today. It works (I was sniffing all day to check haha):blush:!! I even went on an hour walk (and it is a bit muggy here in FL) and stayed fresh. I will see how it does all day at work tomorrow.
> 
> Thanks everyone for all your suggestions. The problem is not anything that would require a doctor. It's not excessive wetness, just that my pH level does not really work with the aluminum in regular deodorants. But this Crystal worked today and I am glad that it is a more of a "natural" product. :happy:



Great to hear this! I love the crystal and try to share it with anyone that could benefit.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Well, a guy I've been hanging out with (basically as friends) for a month or so and I have decided to explore our romantic feelings for each other and see what happens. There's a bit of an age gap (he's 8 years younger) and a couple other things that make us a little hesitant, but we also definitely like each other and want to see what that's like. IC that makes me kind of excited, but maybe equally terrified. Vulnerability is hard!


----------



## Jes

I confess that the person who posted above me owes me a PM.

I confess that I picked up a gift from someone yesterday at the store (where I was having it altered) and it fits beautifully and makes me happy!

I also confess to a hankerin' for good chinese food.


----------



## Mishty

I confess last night I was going to have no strings attached sex, I shaved the entire body, smelled like sugar and tasted even better, I wore my sexy jeans, and decided to go ahead and bang the new hippie guy that flirts with me relentlessly. No sex though, because of one little detail he failed to mention until the Super Bowl, when we were eating each other up with our eyes over the bbq hot wings and he said four words that struck me numb "Meet my wife, Kathy".

:blink:


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that my first day back at work after a week long vacation made me wish I could afford an early retirement!


----------



## jewels_mystery

Mishty said:


> I confess last night I was going to have no strings attached sex, I shaved the entire body, smelled like sugar and tasted even better, I wore my sexy jeans, and decided to go ahead and bang the new hippie guy that flirts with me relentlessly. No sex though, because of one little detail he failed to mention until the Super Bowl, when we were eating each other up with our eyes over the bbq hot wings and he said four words that struck me numb "Meet my wife, Kathy".
> 
> :blink:



wow. What an asshole.


----------



## aocutiepi

mcbeth said:


> Well, a guy I've been hanging out with (basically as friends) for a month or so and I have decided to explore our romantic feelings for each other and see what happens. There's a bit of an age gap (he's 8 years younger) and a couple other things that make us a little hesitant, but we also definitely like each other and want to see what that's like. IC that makes me kind of excited, but maybe equally terrified. Vulnerability is hard!



One word: YAY!

I think being a little bit terrified is a-okay! Good luck with the transition beyond the friend zone mcbeth!


----------



## fatgirlflyin

IC that being broken up with someone would be much easier if the someone would stop calling/texting/emailing.


----------



## KittyKitten

Ugh, I am just sick of my mother. I always felt that she never liked me because I didn't fulfill her dreams of becoming a medical doctor and that I am no longer the size 6 I was in high school. I feel like she hates me because I don't fit the mold of the perfect daughter she wanted. Eff it! My parents are so old-fashioned (first generation immigrants) and they don't understand me. They never will.


----------



## LovelyLiz

aocutiepi said:


> One word: YAY!
> 
> I think being a little bit terrified is a-okay! Good luck with the transition beyond the friend zone mcbeth!



Thanks so much!  

It's been a wild (but starry-eyed) ride thus far.


----------



## CastingPearls

mcbeth said:


> Thanks so much!
> 
> It's been a wild (but starry-eyed) ride thus far.


Best of luck from me as well. So happy for you!


----------



## luscious_lulu

Saw the cute ITS guy today. It almost made it worth coming into work sick.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I confess that I have an uncanny ability to screw things up unintentionally and really not wanting to!!!! ( I think the universe hates me lol )


----------



## Lovelyone

I am so bored that I swear that I can hear my three gray hairs growing in from the one that I pulled. I can hear them shouting "Freeeeeeedom!" just like William Wallace oh Braveheart.


----------



## Tau

mcbeth said:


> Well, a guy I've been hanging out with (basically as friends) for a month or so and I have decided to explore our romantic feelings for each other and see what happens. There's a bit of an age gap (he's 8 years younger) and a couple other things that make us a little hesitant, but we also definitely like each other and want to see what that's like. IC that makes me kind of excited, but maybe equally terrified. Vulnerability is hard!



Soooooo excited for you!!!! *bootay dance of gleeee!*


----------



## Tau

Mishty said:


> I confess last night I was going to have no strings attached sex, I shaved the entire body, smelled like sugar and tasted even better, I wore my sexy jeans, and decided to go ahead and bang the new hippie guy that flirts with me relentlessly. No sex though, because of one little detail he failed to mention until the Super Bowl, when we were eating each other up with our eyes over the bbq hot wings and he said four words that struck me numb "Meet my wife, Kathy".
> 
> :blink:



So sorry honey - I hate dickish guys like that *hugz*


----------



## LovelyLiz

CastingPearls said:


> Best of luck from me as well. So happy for you!





Tau said:


> Soooooo excited for you!!!! *bootay dance of gleeee!*



Thank you ladies so much.  In my 33 years of life, I've really only been an official "girlfriend" for a few months (in my mid-20s). So this is kind of new territory for me. I don't really know how to be a "couple" you know? 

Tonight his band is playing at a little jazz club, so I'm going to go watch. I will be the girlfriend of the guy in the band. I am SO not ready for that. Eek.


----------



## Punkin1024

mcbeth said:


> Thank you ladies so much.  In my 33 years of life, I've really only been an official "girlfriend" for a few months (in my mid-20s). So this is kind of new territory for me. I don't really know how to be a "couple" you know?
> 
> Tonight his band is playing at a little jazz club, so I'm going to go watch. I will be the girlfriend of the guy in the band. I am SO not ready for that. Eek.



Even though you may not be ready for that...I think it is so cool! I've always wanted to be in that situation. Have fun!


----------



## Aust99

mcbeth said:


> Thank you ladies so much.  In my 33 years of life, I've really only been an official "girlfriend" for a few months (in my mid-20s). So this is kind of new territory for me. I don't really know how to be a "couple" you know?
> 
> Tonight his band is playing at a little jazz club, so I'm going to go watch. I will be the girlfriend of the guy in the band. I am SO not ready for that. Eek.



I confess Mcbeths recent posts make my heart melt.... :kiss2:


----------



## Carrie

mcbeth said:


> Thank you ladies so much.  In my 33 years of life, I've really only been an official "girlfriend" for a few months (in my mid-20s). So this is kind of new territory for me. I don't really know how to be a "couple" you know?
> 
> Tonight his band is playing at a little jazz club, so I'm going to go watch. I will be the girlfriend of the guy in the band. I am SO not ready for that. Eek.


There are not enough YAY!s in the world to express how I feel about these recent developments. :wubu:

p.s. pretty sure you're supposed to wear a black body stocking and a beret to jazz clubs. And use words like "man", "hip", and "squaresville".


----------



## LovelyLiz

Punkin1024 said:


> Even though you may not be ready for that...I think it is so cool! I've always wanted to be in that situation. Have fun!


Thanks so much, Ella.  It actually was pretty fun. The 4 shots of tequila over the course of the night provided some nice mellowing power. LOL.



Aust99 said:


> I confess Mcbeths recent posts make my heart melt.... :kiss2:


Awwwwwwwww, thanks for sharing my joy, Aust. You're awesome.



Carrie said:


> There are not enough YAY!s in the world to express how I feel about these recent developments. :wubu:
> 
> p.s. pretty sure you're supposed to wear a black body stocking and a beret to jazz clubs. And use words like "man", "hip", and "squaresville".


Thanks, Carrie.  I feel pretty YAY! too. I didn't receive your jazz club advice in time, and he didn't play jazz anyway, so I think I was in the clear.


----------



## CastingPearls

mcbeth said:


> Thanks so much, Ella.  It actually was pretty fun. The 4 shots of tequila over the course of the night provided some nice mellowing power. LOL.
> 
> 
> Awwwwwwwww, thanks for sharing my joy, Aust. You're awesome.
> 
> 
> Thanks, Carrie.  I feel pretty YAY! too. I didn't receive your jazz club advice in time, and he didn't play jazz anyway, so I think I was in the clear.


I think you're supposed to say 'daddy-o' and wear beatnik glasses too but not sure. LOL


----------



## Candy_Coated_Clown

I confess that I've looked at this video several times today out of a sheer desire for amusement. Totally guilty. 

It's *so* corny and hilarious but yet I can't look away! LMAO 

*link*


----------



## Sweet Tooth

I know I made mention in December of how different my life had been a year ago, but a year ago this last week [Super Bowl Sunday to Valentine's Day]... well, let's just say my life has done a huge 180 in certain areas. I NEVER imagined it would be as it is today, not in a million years. It's amazing how much bullshit I bought back then out of hope and wishful thinking, and it's amazing how different life can be when that ends. It's bittersweet to miss something but to know that the something you miss wasn't ever real, just carefully crafted illusions.

And IC that I'm just astounded with the love I have in my life, whether from family or friends or a special someone. I don't know how I got so lucky to have such affection and consideration and loyalty. :wubu:

Yet I still wouldn't mind flowers for VD tomorrow. I haven't gotten any in years [since before my ex-husband] and, while I'd still prefer some cool gadget, I want something that's just about pure pleasure and beauty in a cold, gray world. Is it horrible that I'm so blessed and still asking for more? :blush:


----------



## butch

Sweet Tooth said:


> I know I made mention in December of how different my life had been a year ago, but a year ago this last week [Super Bowl Sunday to Valentine's Day]... well, let's just say my life has done a huge 180 in certain areas. I NEVER imagined it would be as it is today, not in a million years. It's amazing how much bullshit I bought back then out of hope and wishful thinking, and it's amazing how different life can be when that ends. It's bittersweet to miss something but to know that the something you miss wasn't ever real, just carefully crafted illusions.
> 
> And IC that I'm just astounded with the love I have in my life, whether from family or friends or a special someone. I don't know how I got so lucky to have such affection and consideration and loyalty. :wubu:
> 
> Yet I still wouldn't mind flowers for VD tomorrow. I haven't gotten any in years [since before my ex-husband] and, while I'd still prefer some cool gadget, I want something that's just about pure pleasure and beauty in a cold, gray world. Is it horrible that I'm so blessed and still asking for more? :blush:



I'm happy for you! Also, no, you are not a horrible person for wishing for flowers on Valentine's Day even with all your blessings. I feel exactly like you do, but I imagine we both feel the same way-it would be a lovely gesture, but it isn't a necessity to symbolize the love that others have for us, and would not diminish our gratitude one bit if the day goes by flower-less.

I know sometimes I've bought flowers on the 15th, for myself, and that is an OK substitute for flowers from someone else on the 14th. I'm cheap, what can I say?


----------



## jdsumm

Sweet Tooth said:


> I know I made mention in December of how different my life had been a year ago, but a year ago this last week [Super Bowl Sunday to Valentine's Day]... well, let's just say my life has done a huge 180 in certain areas. I NEVER imagined it would be as it is today, not in a million years. It's amazing how much bullshit I bought back then out of hope and wishful thinking, and it's amazing how different life can be when that ends. It's bittersweet to miss something but to know that the something you miss wasn't ever real, just carefully crafted illusions.
> 
> And IC that I'm just astounded with the love I have in my life, whether from family or friends or a special someone. I don't know how I got so lucky to have such affection and consideration and loyalty. :wubu:
> 
> Yet I still wouldn't mind flowers for VD tomorrow. I haven't gotten any in years [since before my ex-husband] and, while I'd still prefer some cool gadget, I want something that's just about pure pleasure and beauty in a cold, gray world. Is it horrible that I'm so blessed and still asking for more? :blush:



I am so happy for you! I sure needed to hear encouraging stuff today, thanks for sharing. Affection, consideration and loyalty, WOW what amazing gifts of love to receive! Definitely hoping you get those flowers too


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Sweet Tooth said:


> I know I made mention in December of how different my life had been a year ago, but a year ago this last week [Super Bowl Sunday to Valentine's Day]... well, let's just say my life has done a huge 180 in certain areas. I NEVER imagined it would be as it is today, not in a million years. It's amazing how much bullshit I bought back then out of hope and wishful thinking, and it's amazing how different life can be when that ends. It's bittersweet to miss something but to know that the something you miss wasn't ever real, just carefully crafted illusions.
> 
> And IC that I'm just astounded with the love I have in my life, whether from family or friends or a special someone. I don't know how I got so lucky to have such affection and consideration and loyalty. :wubu:
> 
> Yet I still wouldn't mind flowers for VD tomorrow. I haven't gotten any in years [since before my ex-husband] and, while I'd still prefer some cool gadget, I want something that's just about pure pleasure and beauty in a cold, gray world. Is it horrible that I'm so blessed and still asking for more? :blush:















Tried to give you a "rep flower" but I seem to be all out right now- hope you like these though


----------



## Sweet Tooth

jdsumm said:


> I am so happy for you! I sure needed to hear encouraging stuff today, thanks for sharing. Affection, consideration and loyalty, WOW what amazing gifts of love to receive! Definitely hoping you get those flowers too



Thanks.  I sure hope your Valentine's Day is filled with all the love you deserve! <hugs>



Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Tried to give you a "rep flower" but I seem to be all out right now- hope you like these though



Awww! :wubu: That is just too darn sweet of you! And how did you know I went for the non-traditional bouquets? Thanks, GEF!


----------



## CastingPearls

Wishing all my BBW sisters a Happy Valentine's Day!!

Hugs, kisses and lots of love!


----------



## AmazingAmy

CastingPearls said:


> Wishing all my BBW sisters a Happy Valentine's Day!!
> 
> Hugs, kisses and lots of love!



Right back at you, Elaine. :kiss2:


----------



## Punkin1024

This Valentine's Day is going to be quite different for me. I've recently sworn off sugar and I've not found sugar-free chocolates that taste good to me. I think I may have talked hubby into making spaghetti and meatballs for supper, though, so I think I may survive - ha!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S TO ALL MY BBW FRIENDS!


----------



## Surlysomething

CastingPearls said:


> Wishing all my BBW sisters a Happy Valentine's Day!!
> 
> Hugs, kisses and lots of love!


 

Happy Valentine's Day, lady!


----------



## LovelyLiz

Happy Valentines day to all of us fat chicks! I hope all the ladies here get a chance to feel loved and celebrate the wonder of human affection in whatever package it comes (not just today, but every day!).


----------



## Jes

mcbeth said:


> Happy Valentines day to all of us fat chicks! I hope all the ladies here get a chance to feel loved and celebrate the wonder of human affection in whatever package it comes (not just today, but every day!).


thank you! i am feeling loved, though it's definitely work to love, and be loved, by a partner. I always send everyone a Valentine for the holiday, kind of like we did in grade school! This year, everyone got a postcard of the LOVE statue in Philadelphia!


----------



## spiritangel

Happy Happy Valentines Day Everyone

On this day remember how infinately loveable, wonderful and amazing you are and celebrate it!!!


----------



## littlefairywren

Happy Valentines, ladies! :happy:


----------



## penguin

It's not related to Valentine's Day, but today my moods and hormones are all over the place and I just want to be held and loved.


----------



## AmazingAmy

*Holds and loves Penguin* :happy:


----------



## CastingPearls

penguin said:


> It's not related to Valentine's Day, but today my moods and hormones are all over the place and I just want to be held and loved.


Big soft hugs, Penguin.


----------



## ThatFatGirl

Happy Valentine's to all from me as well. <3

My husband surprised me by coming home at lunch with a bouquet of flowers for me. It was nice, but I was really embarrassed because I was having a totally lazy day up to that point and had not yet showered. Also, several bites of the pasta I had at lunch had landed on my nightie leaving sauce stains and I had yet to change (I was about to, I swear.. wasn't planning on wearing my nightie and lunch all day). After he left, I showered, washed and dried my hair and put on some super soft, comfy cotton loungewear and wished I had done this an hour or so earlier.


----------



## penguin

AmazingAmy said:


> *Holds and loves Penguin* :happy:





CastingPearls said:


> Big soft hugs, Penguin.



thank you


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I hate The Bachelor and Bachelorett(sp)..It kills me when the women or men are so hurt they didn't measure up to whatever ideal mate that the other person wanted..They are the only 2 shows I wish would never see the light of day again!


----------



## Dmitra

IC that the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition is irritating me more than fucking ever for exemplifying the reduction of women's talents to tits and ass in a supposedly post-feminist society. And, no, I don't think there's an empowering vibe to it (or Suicide Girls -- despite loving their look -- for that matter, either).


----------



## olwen

I confess, I'm still in shock by my friend's admission that he is an FA. We had a deep convo about it earlier. I made sure to tell him that if he's attracted to say a size 8 and a size 18 it's okay and probably what the average straight guy likes. He can just like what he likes and not put a label on it. But he said "...No, I'm That. I'm sick of dating skinny girls who complain about some nonexistent fat. I'm an FA." I wanted to give him a big ole hug for finally admitting it after all these years. I just wish his range extended to my size, so we could give dating each other a try, but whatever. I'm just happy he's finally ready to own it.


----------



## Punkin1024

I think I've the beginnings of a blue spell. Just not satisfied with anything lately and work stress has me wishing I had other options.


----------



## Inhibited

I got stood up .. oh well


----------



## littlefairywren

Punkin1024 said:


> I think I've the beginnings of a blue spell. Just not satisfied with anything lately and work stress has me wishing I had other options.



I hope it does not last too long, Punkin. Soft hugs.



Inhibited said:


> I got stood up .. oh well



Don't let it dishearten you. It's a dreadful feeling but it will pass, and hopefully the right one is just around the corner.


----------



## Inhibited

littlefairywren said:


> I hope it does not last too long, Punkin. Soft hugs.
> 
> 
> 
> Don't let it dishearten you. It's a dreadful feeling but it will pass, and hopefully the right one is just around the corner.



Am ok with it i just don't understand he was the one that was pushing it and i finally agreed and its not like he seen me as i got lost and wasn't sure of the exact spot... Maybe he had a think about it and thought it wasn't worth it if there was no sexual contact.... Anyway it was a nice trip to wollongong..


----------



## Deacone

I confess to buying a Gorillapod today so I can start making videos


----------



## Mishty

I'm going to spend my entire day in a bubble bath reading cheap romance novels and eating bon-bons(or donuts), oh and I'm taking something super strong and potent and addictive for these cramps. 

reading what I just typed made me want to cry. (?)


----------



## Punkin1024

Mishty - I've always found relief from cramps by lying in bed on my tummy. Also, bon bons and romance novels are a big help.


----------



## 1love_emily

I think if they made a movie or tv show of my life, it would be called The Escapades of a Single Teenager.


----------



## CastingPearls

I would really really love a bathtub that I comfortably fit in (and was able to get out of) and just soak and soak and soak to my hearts content up to my shoulders in bubbles.

I'd also like to have sex in a bouncy castle.


----------



## penguin

CastingPearls said:


> I would really really love a bathtub that I comfortably fit in (and was able to get out of) and just soak and soak and soak to my hearts content up to my shoulders in bubbles.
> 
> I'd also like to have sex in a bouncy castle.



Oh me too. At the party I was at on the weekend, they had this massive tub. You could easily fit four people in there, and I think it had spa action as well. So. Freaking. Jealous.

And the bouncy castle fun times would be good too.


----------



## KittyKitten

Oh how much I hate when a size 6 bemoans that she is needs to lose weight, in front of me. Shut up beeyoooootch!


----------



## Jes

happyface83 said:


> Oh how much I hate when a size 6 bemoans that she is needs to lose weight, in front of me. Shut up beeyoooootch!



you know what's fun? look her up and down and then kind of frown and tip your head to the side and say: Yeah...you really do...

that'll shut her up!


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC that I am really enjoying my boyfriend. There are so many ridiculously sweet things that occur on a daily basis, which bring me so much joy, and when I really think about it I just feel grateful and baffled as to how I ended up in such a healthy, affirming, fun, nurturing relationship. 

So as not to create a chorus of gag reflexes among everyone, I will just share one little incident.  We were going for a walk in the neighborhood a couple days ago, and holding hands. As we were crossing a street, a car was going to turn in front of us. I stopped and waved for her to go, but then she waved for us to go, so we waved thanks and kept going. When we got next to her car, she rolled down her passenger window and said, "I just had to let you go, you look so happy!" That about sums it up. 

Okay, collective gag reflexes can engage now. lol


----------



## butch

mcbeth said:


> IC that I am really enjoying my boyfriend. There are so many ridiculously sweet things that occur on a daily basis, which bring me so much joy, and when I really think about it I just feel grateful and baffled as to how I ended up in such a healthy, affirming, fun, nurturing relationship.
> 
> So as not to create a chorus of gag reflexes among everyone, I will just share one little incident.  We were going for a walk in the neighborhood a couple days ago, and holding hands. As we were crossing a street, a car was going to turn in front of us. I stopped and waved for her to go, but then she waved for us to go, so we waved thanks and kept going. When we got next to her car, she rolled down her passenger window and said, "I just had to let you go, you look so happy!" That about sums it up.
> 
> Okay, collective gag reflexes can engage now. lol





You deserve it, and it makes me happy to hear about it, so thanks for telling us. I have to say, I echo your first paragraph in terms of my relationship-I don't know what I did to get so lucky, but I have an amazing relationship that I'm grateful for every single day. Glad to see others feeling the same way.


----------



## Surlysomething

Jes said:


> you know what's fun? look her up and down and then kind of frown and tip your head to the side and say: Yeah...you really do...
> 
> that'll shut her up!


 

Haha. When my best friend say it, I tell her to go fuck herself.


----------



## WVMountainrear

IC that I don't always feel taken seriously on Dims. Granted, I think it's partially my fault. I post mainly in the Lounge area and pretty quickly became a bit of a pic whore. I admit that. But I'm a lawyer. I debate for a living. The last thing I want to do when I get home from a long day is go into Hyde Park and argue my viewpoints with people. I'd much rather stay in the lighter threads and talk about dating and sex and all of that nonsense. It doesn't mean I'm a big-titted bimbo with mush for brains who should be dismissed as insignificant or non-opinionated or someone who doesn't care about current events or the intricacies of life. Dims is my fun time. If you'd care to know anything about other sides of my personality, you should ask me instead of assuming there are none.

Sorry. Just needed to get that out.


----------



## CastingPearls

lovelylady78 said:


> IC that I don't always feel taken seriously on Dims. Granted, I think it's partially my fault. I post mainly in the Lounge area and pretty quickly became a bit of a pic whore. I admit that. But I'm a lawyer. I debate for a living. The last thing I want to do when I get home from a long day is go into Hyde Park and argue my viewpoints with people. I'd much rather stay in the lighter threads and talk about dating and sex and all of that nonsense. It doesn't mean I'm a big-titted bimbo with mush for brains who should be dismissed as insignificant or non-opinionated or someone who doesn't care about current events or the intricacies of life. Dims is my fun time. If you'd care to know anything about other sides of my personality, you should ask me instead of assuming there are none.
> 
> Sorry. Just needed to get that out.


I for one like you. If anyone incorrectly thinks you're a dim-bulb cos you're a pic-whore (hi um..I'm Lainey and I'm a pic-whore too) then screw them. I come to Dims mostly for fun lighthearted stuff too so you have a lot of company on several points you've mentioned. 

By the way, people have made a lot of assumptions about me. I used to care. Now they can pound sand. I'm having fun.


----------



## mossystate

lovelylady78 said:


> IC that I don't always feel taken seriously on Dims. Granted, I think it's partially my fault. I post mainly in the Lounge area and pretty quickly became a bit of a pic whore. I admit that. But I'm a lawyer. I debate for a living. The last thing I want to do when I get home from a long day is go into Hyde Park and argue my viewpoints with people. I'd much rather stay in the lighter threads and talk about dating and sex and all of that nonsense. It doesn't mean I'm a big-titted bimbo with mush for brains who should be dismissed as insignificant or non-opinionated or someone who doesn't care about current events or the intricacies of life. Dims is my fun time. If you'd care to know anything about other sides of my personality, you should ask me instead of assuming there are none.
> 
> Sorry. Just needed to get that out.



People are outwardly dismissing you ? If so, that is messed up. Or are you worried that's what people are thinking? I suppose if you ' only ' post certain things or post in certain areas, it might not be so much an issue of not being taken seriously, and more that people are just going along with the spirit of the posts...light and fluffy ( which doesn't always mean ' stupid ahead '...heh ) ?


----------



## WVMountainrear

CastingPearls said:


> I for one like you. If anyone incorrectly thinks you're a dim-bulb cos you're a pic-whore (hi um..I'm Lainey and I'm a pic-whore too) then screw them. I come to Dims mostly for fun lighthearted stuff too so you have a lot of company on several points you've mentioned.
> 
> By the way, people have made a lot of assumptions about me. I used to care. Now they can pound sand. I'm having fun.





mossystate said:


> People are outwardly dismissing you ? If so, that is messed up. Or are you worried that's what people are thinking? I suppose if you ' only ' post certain things or post in certain areas, it might not be so much an issue of not being taken seriously, and more that people are just going along with the spirit of the posts...light and fluffy ( which doesn't always mean ' stupid ahead '...heh ) ?




Oh, no. I've been outwardly dismissed. Twice now.

I don't mind at all people making only light and fluffy conversation. I mean it's not easy to-- nor would I expect someone to-- jump into a serious conversation with me based upon the posts I've made generally, as is your point. But I never would have said anything had that only been the case.

And thank you, Lainey. You know I'm a fan of yours as well.


----------



## mossystate

lovelylady78 said:


> Oh, no. I've been outwardly dismissed. Twice now.
> 
> I don't mind at all people making only light and fluffy conversation. I mean it's not easy to-- nor would I expect someone to-- jump into a serious conversation with me based upon the posts I've made generally, as is your point. But I never would have said anything had that only been the case.



Ah, Ok.

...


----------



## luscious_lulu

lovelylady78 said:


> IC that I don't always feel taken seriously on Dims. Granted, I think it's partially my fault. I post mainly in the Lounge area and pretty quickly became a bit of a pic whore. I admit that. But I'm a lawyer. I debate for a living. The last thing I want to do when I get home from a long day is go into Hyde Park and argue my viewpoints with people. I'd much rather stay in the lighter threads and talk about dating and sex and all of that nonsense. It doesn't mean I'm a big-titted bimbo with mush for brains who should be dismissed as insignificant or non-opinionated or someone who doesn't care about current events or the intricacies of life. Dims is my fun time. If you'd care to know anything about other sides of my personality, you should ask me instead of assuming there are none.
> 
> Sorry. Just needed to get that out.



I am the same way. I generally don't post in Hyde park or most of the serious threads. My days are stressful & I am generally looking for a fun outlet. 

I'm sorry you've been dismissed. My suggestion would be to tell those people to go fuck themselves.


----------



## CastingPearls

luscious_lulu said:


> My suggestion would be to tell those people to go fuck themselves.



Yes, that too.


----------



## littlefairywren

mcbeth said:


> IC that I am really enjoying my boyfriend. There are so many ridiculously sweet things that occur on a daily basis, which bring me so much joy, and when I really think about it I just feel grateful and baffled as to how I ended up in such a healthy, affirming, fun, nurturing relationship.
> 
> So as not to create a chorus of gag reflexes among everyone, I will just share one little incident.  We were going for a walk in the neighborhood a couple days ago, and holding hands. As we were crossing a street, a car was going to turn in front of us. I stopped and waved for her to go, but then she waved for us to go, so we waved thanks and kept going. When we got next to her car, she rolled down her passenger window and said, "I just had to let you go, you look so happy!" That about sums it up.
> 
> Okay, collective gag reflexes can engage now. lol



This just makes me so happy! No gag reflex over here (eternal romantic). :happy:


----------



## CastingPearls

littlefairywren said:


> This just makes me so happy! No gag reflex over here (eternal romantic). :happy:


Hopeless romantic here too. McBeth, that's just so sweet!


----------



## Jes

mcbeth said:


> IC that I am really enjoying my boyfriend. )



I confess that I am really enjoying your boyfriend.


----------



## LovelyLiz

butch said:


> You deserve it, and it makes me happy to hear about it, so thanks for telling us. I have to say, I echo your first paragraph in terms of my relationship-I don't know what I did to get so lucky, but I have an amazing relationship that I'm grateful for every single day. Glad to see others feeling the same way.





littlefairywren said:


> This just makes me so happy! No gag reflex over here (eternal romantic). :happy:





CastingPearls said:


> Hopeless romantic here too. McBeth, that's just so sweet!



Thanks so much for being happy for me, ladies.  I appreciate you!


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that, though I don't often have much to say, I LOVE coming in here and reading posts and comments. I often feel like I'm sitting around a table, drinking coffee/tea and eating cookies and enjoying chatting about just anything with my friends in here. Thanks all for sharing bits and pieces of yourself with me.


----------



## ThatFatGirl

Punkin1024 said:


> IC that, though I don't often have much to say, I LOVE coming in here and reading posts and comments. I often feel like I'm sitting around a table, drinking coffee/tea and eating cookies and enjoying chatting about just anything with my friends in here. Thanks all for sharing bits and pieces of yourself with me.



Really? I was just about to post that I don't know why I keep coming to Dims because posts from supposed FAs are continuously making me feel like some kind of sideshow freak. These posts are nothing new, they've always been here.. but I used to be able to ignore them better. 

I'd like to get back to more of what you're feeling, Punkin. I think I'm going to try to hang out in the BBW forum more.


----------



## Punkin1024

ThatFatGirl said:


> Really? I was just about to post that I don't know why I keep coming to Dims because posts from supposed FAs are continuously making me feel like some kind of sideshow freak. These posts are nothing new, they've always been here.. but I used to be able to ignore them better.
> 
> I'd like to get back to more of what you're feeling, Punkin. I think I'm going to try to hang out in the BBW forum more.



It may be, that since I am married and not looking, that I don't read a lot of the FA posts, but tend to hang out mostly in here, the Main Board, The Clubhouse, The Foodee forum, and The Lounge. I sometimes also read posts in the Health Forum and the Fashions forum. Dimensions has helped me feel good about myself and I've made so many friends in here, which was my original reason for joining the Dimensions community. I'm at home here. I'm amongst people that deal with living in a fat body and can understand and appreciate being happy just being yourself. Even though the majority of my friends on Facebook are people from Dimensions, I still come here because I don't get bombarded with ads for weight loss and I can hang out with you all and discuss fun, food and fashion that interests me. So, TFG, do hang out in here, I think you'll come to love the feel and friendship too.  (Oh, I forgot...and you can use smiley's ...hehe! )


----------



## Tau

HUGE GIANT GRIN ON MY FACE RIGHT NOW!!! Loved reading this - thank you for sharing you joy!



mcbeth said:


> IC that I am really enjoying my boyfriend. There are so many ridiculously sweet things that occur on a daily basis, which bring me so much joy, and when I really think about it I just feel grateful and baffled as to how I ended up in such a healthy, affirming, fun, nurturing relationship.
> 
> So as not to create a chorus of gag reflexes among everyone, I will just share one little incident.  We were going for a walk in the neighborhood a couple days ago, and holding hands. As we were crossing a street, a car was going to turn in front of us. I stopped and waved for her to go, but then she waved for us to go, so we waved thanks and kept going. When we got next to her car, she rolled down her passenger window and said, "I just had to let you go, you look so happy!" That about sums it up.
> 
> Okay, collective gag reflexes can engage now. lol


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC that I'm really looking forward to this weekend. Thursday i get a mani & pedi. Friday I'm getting my my hair done & then going to spend the weekend in Toronto. I'll get to spend lots of time with my friends & we'll be partying. It's going to be a blast!

I'll also get to test the theory that blondes have more fun.


----------



## AmazingAmy

IC I'm seriously looking forward to starting electrolysis on Friday. Not only will it be the first step toward feeling more feminine, it'll actually be something to do during my unemployment. Need to get out of this damn house!

I don't even care that it'll hurt. Bring it on, baby.


----------



## AuntHen

AmazingAmy said:


> IC I'm seriously looking forward to starting electrolysis on Friday. Not only will it be the first step toward feeling more feminine, it'll actually be something to do during my unemployment. Need to get out of this damn house!
> 
> I don't even care that it'll hurt. Bring it on, baby.




hugs Amy! You ARE feminine!! And strong and amazing for having to deal with that all the time! If anything, it makes you MORE of woman. If people who don't have such a problem only understood what it was like... tedious, tiring, emotionally draining, annoying, pain in the butt etc, they would look at those who do with a whole new appreciation


----------



## fluffyandcute

I confess that I am kinda nervous about seeing a new doctor tomorrow. Hope all goes well....


----------



## luscious_lulu

fluffyandcute said:


> I confess that I am kinda nervous about seeing a new doctor tomorrow. Hope all goes well....



Good luck...


----------



## Lovelyone

IC that I am really sick of men who do not have ANY social skills and bounce from woman to woman on these forums.


----------



## AmazingAmy

fat9276 said:


> hugs Amy! You ARE feminine!! And strong and amazing for having to deal with that all the time! If anything, it makes you MORE of woman. If people who don't have such a problem only understood what it was like... tedious, tiring, emotionally draining, annoying, pain in the butt etc, they would look at those who do with a whole new appreciation



Thank you, Bri! :wubu: This is much appreciated, as you know!


----------



## CaitiDee

Inhibited said:


> I got stood up .. oh well



Me too! A few weeks ago... His loss? I think so.


----------



## Inhibited

CaitiDee said:


> Me too! A few weeks ago... His loss? I think so.



aww i think so too


----------



## MisticalMisty

Ugh...T.o.m. was two weeks late and my cramps have been HORRIBLE.


----------



## aocutiepi

IC I had one of those what the hell moments tonight in my Chemistry study group. The other two girls in it are both thin. For sake of clarity and anonymity I'm just going to call them Girl1 and Girl2. Girl1's grandma had a stroke this morning. 

Girl1: My grandmother just made it out of surgery and she's doing okay.

Girl2: How old is your grandma?

Girl1: 70.

Girl2: That's really young.

Girl1: But she's obese and obesity is so dangerous...

They proceed to talk about their family members who need to get in shape before they drop dead from being obese and the glories of gastric bypass and I just kind of sit there, dumbstruck. I really like them and they seem to like me, but inside my head all I was thinking was, "Can you guys not see the morbidly obese girl sitting in front of you?"

I've never been more at a loss for words in recent memory because I am definitely quite the talker... now all I can wonder is what I should have said and what they were thinking. I mean, do they think I'm going to drop dead this second? Or, like most of the thin people I've met, do they have no concept of what "obesity" really looks like? 

I am just becoming friends with these girls and I didn't want to interject in the wrong way. I mostly just sat there and mumbled until the conversation switched back to reaction equilibrium. :happy:

It was major awkward turtle. I've been around thin friends before who whine that they are fat, but never been around anyone talking about obese people with one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. It was a new experience.


----------



## CastingPearls

AO--I was once called in my boss' office to be dispassionately lectured how he was afraid I would never see 30 and I had to had to HAD TO lose weight. Never mind his poor diet, lack of any exercise, heavy drinking and chainsmoking. I'll be 44 in April and he's been dead 10 years.


----------



## aocutiepi

CastingPearls said:


> AO--I was once called in my boss' office to be dispassionately lectured how he was afraid I would never see 30 and I had to had to HAD TO lose weight. Never mind his poor diet, lack of any exercise, heavy drinking and chainsmoking. I'll be 44 in April and he's been dead 10 years.



Funny how that works, innit? 

Maybe it's just because I've grown up a fat girl but I never talk about the health of another person's body because I don't live in that body. How should I know how healthy they really are?

And on that note, I'll be back tomorrow after I ace this Chem test!

AAAANNNNNDDDD... IC I wish I could post more on here. You ladies rock my world.


----------



## LovelyLiz

aocutiepi said:


> snipped
> 
> It was major awkward turtle. I've been around thin friends before who whine that they are fat, but never been around anyone talking about obese people with one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. It was a new experience.



Eek. I have definitely been in that situation. To me it seems like there are a few things that could be going on. Some options are, 1) they really do mean it as a kind of indirect or passive-aggressive warning about you and intend for you to listen to them, or 2) they begin talking about it, and only after the conversation is rolling do they kind of realize a fat person is there and feel uncomfortable, but still finish out the conversation, or 3) since they know and like you and you're young and healthy, you're not an evil "fat person" who is so bad and unhealthy, so it doesn't even register with them that you could be part of the group they are maligning. 

Since they are friends, 2 or 3 seems most likely, right?

I commend you though on not giving up on the developing friendship over this (I am sometimes tempted to give up on a new friend when they are ignorant about these things, since it can be so hurtful). But maybe through their relationship with you they can have their eyes opened in certain ways, after you guys gain some more trust and you feel safer to share things with them. Wish you the best either way.


----------



## WVMountainrear

mcbeth said:


> Eek. I have definitely been in that situation. To me it seems like there are a few things that could be going on. Some options are, 1) they really do mean it as a kind of indirect or passive-aggressive warning about you and intend for you to listen to them, or 2) they begin talking about it, and only after the conversation is rolling do they kind of realize a fat person is there and feel uncomfortable, but still finish out the conversation, or 3) since they know and like you and you're young and healthy, you're not an evil "fat person" who is so bad and unhealthy, so it doesn't even register with them that you could be part of the group they are maligning.
> 
> Since they are friends, 2 or 3 seems most likely, right?
> 
> I commend you though on not giving up on the developing friendship over this (I am sometimes tempted to give up on a new friend when they are ignorant about these things, since it can be so hurtful). But maybe through their relationship with you they can have their eyes opened in certain ways, after you guys gain some more trust and you feel safer to share things with them. Wish you the best either way.



I'm still surprised at how prevelant #3 is...they don't even view you as a "fat person" anymore (although you clearly are) because you're not a "typical" fat person in their mind. It's like since they see me active and not just eating pork rinds sitting on my couch, the usual lectures on obesity don't apply to me (and that's supposed to go without saying) although I'm obviously obese. It's really kind of odd and nonsensical and just goes to show how little people know about weight...and how insensitive they can be without even realizing it.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

lovelylady78 said:


> ... It's like since they see me active and not just eating pork rinds sitting on my couch, the usual lectures on obesity don't apply to me (and that's supposed to go without saying) although I'm obviously obese. ....



Well, yeah...because you are a hottie!! duh  hehehehe 

I actually have just joined in the conversation and I always like to use my dad's family...think: wealthy, heavy-drinking (they should just buy a beverage company) , red-meat eating, no leafy greens and no exercise unless it was sailing their yacht or visiting one of their 5 homes..all the men die in their sleep in their 70's and the women live to be in their 90's - put that diet, that amount of alcohol in someone else - they would be dead by 40..or need liver transplants. lol Genetics is the only reason they were all not dead at 40 ....my god..who drinks like a fish for 50 years and doesn't need a second liver??? lol

I just speak up and say well...I'm not dead yet...I am aware I not healthy...but, being skinny doesn't give you a pass on health problems.


----------



## WVMountainrear

PunkyGurly74 said:


> Well, yeah...because you are a hottie!! duh  hehehehe
> 
> I actually have just joined in the conversation and I always like to use my dad's family...think: wealthy, heavy-drinking (they should just buy a beverage company) , red-meat eating, no leafy greens and no exercise unless it was sailing their yacht or visiting one of their 5 homes..all the men die in their sleep in their 70's and the women live to be in their 90's - put that diet, that amount of alcohol in someone else - they would be dead by 40..or need liver transplants. lol Genetics is the only reason they were all not dead at 40 ....my god..who drinks like a fish for 50 years and doesn't need a second liver??? lol
> 
> I just speak up and say well...I'm not dead yet...I am aware I not healthy...but, being skinny doesn't give you a pass on health problems.




I appreciate the compliment. :blush: 

It's like I told my friends last week when I opened up to them about joining this community: I spent my whole life feeling like I was a mildly attractive regular girl but it turns out people keep telling me I'm like a hot fat girl. No matter how pretty your features may be taken out of context, up to this point in my life, I've still just been a fat girl with a pretty face to most people...including me. Never before this has ANYONE-- even men who were intimate with and loved me-- called me a "hottie." (Of course, they would tell me I was "cute" or "beautiful" but never "hot.") Well, there was one, but he was the friend of mine who turned out to be an FA and referred me to this site. 

Anyway, back on topic, I agree with you. I have a friend who exercises, eats reasonably well-- as does his family-- and they have a continuing family history of significant heart problems. Genetics really does have a lot to do with it.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Lovelylady78 - it's an awesome feeling (being a hottie) isn't it. You really need to go to a bash. You'd love it.


----------



## WVMountainrear

luscious_lulu said:


> Lovelylady78 - it's an awesome feeling (being a hottie) isn't it. You really need to go to a bash. You'd love it.



I think so too. :happy:


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC that lately I've been happy. So happy it doesn't feel like I have depression @ all. It's just so wonderful, but part of me worries that it won't last.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

IC that I tried to get "some" and was totally rejected .....so, it's offical...I'm a leper.


----------



## Tau

luscious_lulu said:


> IC that lately I've been happy. So happy it doesn't feel like I have depression @ all. It's just so wonderful, but part of me worries that it won't last.



*SMISH!!!!!!!!!!!!*


----------



## Tau

PunkyGurly74 said:


> IC that I tried to get "some" and was totally rejected .....so, it's offical...I'm a leper.



He's a dumbass love - you are no leper *snuggles*


----------



## Tau

I confess that i am drunk, have just ended an hour long make out session cos it was getting a bit too heated and I am so filled with glee I'm bubbling over  The boy lifted me you guys! HE LIFTED ME RIGHT ONTO HIS LAP AND HELD ME THERE!!! I was like EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!  And I know the only people who can possibly get what that feels like - that thrill of not, for once, feeling like the giant who can crush your partner - is just epic. It was a really amazing feeling - pure,delicious lust and i wanted to share *BEAMS!!* Also the sheer amount of YUM that he oozes man...I don't know if i can withstand him much longer. Somebody loan me a chastity belt quick!!!!


----------



## luscious_lulu

This makes me deliriously happy! Enjoy!




Tau said:


> I confess that i am drunk, have just ended an hour long make out session cos it was getting a bit too heated and I am so filled with glee I'm bubbling over  The boy lifted me you guys! HE LIFTED ME RIGHT ONTO HIS LAP AND HELD ME THERE!!! I was like EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!  And I know the only people who can possibly get what that feels like - that thrill of not, for once, feeling like the giant who can crush your partner - is just epic. It was a really amazing feeling - pure,delicious lust and i wanted to share *BEAMS!!* Also the sheer amount of YUM that he oozes man...I don't know if i can withstand him much longer. Somebody loan me a chastity belt quick!!!!


----------



## CastingPearls

Tau said:


> I confess that i am drunk, have just ended an hour long make out session cos it was getting a bit too heated and I am so filled with glee I'm bubbling over  The boy lifted me you guys! HE LIFTED ME RIGHT ONTO HIS LAP AND HELD ME THERE!!! I was like EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!  And I know the only people who can possibly get what that feels like - that thrill of not, for once, feeling like the giant who can crush your partner - is just epic. It was a really amazing feeling - pure,delicious lust and i wanted to share *BEAMS!!* Also the sheer amount of YUM that he oozes man...I don't know if i can withstand him much longer. Somebody loan me a chastity belt quick!!!!


I'm very happily jealous!!!!! That's AWESOME!!!


----------



## littlefairywren

Tau said:


> I confess that i am drunk, have just ended an hour long make out session cos it was getting a bit too heated and I am so filled with glee I'm bubbling over  The boy lifted me you guys! HE LIFTED ME RIGHT ONTO HIS LAP AND HELD ME THERE!!! I was like EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!  And I know the only people who can possibly get what that feels like - that thrill of not, for once, feeling like the giant who can crush your partner - is just epic. It was a really amazing feeling - pure,delicious lust and i wanted to share *BEAMS!!* Also the sheer amount of YUM that he oozes man...I don't know if i can withstand him much longer. Somebody loan me a chastity belt quick!!!!



Woot! Best post of the morning :happy:


----------



## butch

I agree with what everyone else is saying-so happy for you, Tau!


----------



## LovelyLiz

Tau said:


> I confess that i am drunk, have just ended an hour long make out session cos it was getting a bit too heated and I am so filled with glee I'm bubbling over  The boy lifted me you guys! HE LIFTED ME RIGHT ONTO HIS LAP AND HELD ME THERE!!! I was like EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!  And I know the only people who can possibly get what that feels like - that thrill of not, for once, feeling like the giant who can crush your partner - is just epic. It was a really amazing feeling - pure,delicious lust and i wanted to share *BEAMS!!* Also the sheer amount of YUM that he oozes man...I don't know if i can withstand him much longer. Somebody loan me a chastity belt quick!!!!



Happy for you, for sure, but what I'm really thinking is: WHAT A LUCKY GUY! SERIOUSLY!!!!!


----------



## Tau

Thanks ladies - it was fun!


----------



## hrd

Because they were down to dropping him at the humane society, starting tomorrow I'll be caring for the puppy of my step-dad's colleague's son while he's in Iraq for the next eight months, and I'm completely worried that it will break my heart to give back the puppy -- or, worse, that I won't be able to give up the puppy at all.


----------



## Punkin1024

I'm fighting the urge to eat comfort "junk" food. Been craving chocolate like crazy...guess what's just around the corner for me. Sigh!


----------



## AuntHen

Punkin1024 said:


> I'm fighting the urge to eat comfort "junk" food. Been craving chocolate like crazy...guess what's just around the corner for me. Sigh!



Lindt makes a 90% dark chocolate bar that barely has any sugar in it. I got used to having it less sweet and the quality is amazing!


----------



## bonified

Nothing like some good dark choc & a nice glass of cab sav, the lindt + chili one is delish too.


----------



## OneHauteMama

Tau said:


> I confess that i am drunk, have just ended an hour long make out session cos it was getting a bit too heated and I am so filled with glee I'm bubbling over  The boy lifted me you guys! HE LIFTED ME RIGHT ONTO HIS LAP AND HELD ME THERE!!! I was like EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!  And I know the only people who can possibly get what that feels like - that thrill of not, for once, feeling like the giant who can crush your partner - is just epic. It was a really amazing feeling - pure,delicious lust and i wanted to share *BEAMS!!* Also the sheer amount of YUM that he oozes man...I don't know if i can withstand him much longer. Somebody loan me a chastity belt quick!!!!



Awwwwww!!! I'm so happy for you (and I don't even know you! lol). It's such an awesome feeling to be with someone who can handle a whole lotta woman! :wubu:


----------



## OneHauteMama

Punkin1024 said:


> I'm fighting the urge to eat comfort "junk" food. Been craving chocolate like crazy...guess what's just around the corner for me. Sigh!



I hate that feeling! I polished off a whole box of Girl Scout Thin Mints today... I feel so dang guilty, but DAMMIT! They shouldn't have been bought for me! It's all my dad's fault!  lol


----------



## jewels_mystery

Tau said:


> I confess that i am drunk, have just ended an hour long make out session cos it was getting a bit too heated and I am so filled with glee I'm bubbling over  The boy lifted me you guys! HE LIFTED ME RIGHT ONTO HIS LAP AND HELD ME THERE!!! I was like EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!  And I know the only people who can possibly get what that feels like - that thrill of not, for once, feeling like the giant who can crush your partner - is just epic. It was a really amazing feeling - pure,delicious lust and i wanted to share *BEAMS!!* Also the sheer amount of YUM that he oozes man...I don't know if i can withstand him much longer. Somebody loan me a chastity belt quick!!!!



I am so happy for you girl. He is a lucky man.


----------



## CaitiDee

I confess that I'm about to go negative in my bank account to have a shopping spree at Lane Bryant. 40% off EVERYTHING in the store!! I just HAVE to, right??


----------



## Jes

I confess that Tau's post made me feel all tingly in my pants.

I also confess that I dumped way too much worcestershire sauce in my beef stew, but that it smells great anyway.


----------



## bonified

I got the all clear from the drs & went and joined back up at the gym today. Funnily enough, I also made the evilest of cheesecakes which should be ready very soon. :eat2:


----------



## PunkyGurly74

IC that I am a dirty, dirty girl and I love it! hehehe :: does the happy booty dance ::


----------



## badassdebate

I confess that I am watching Law and Order and smoking out 420 style instead of prepping for a test (it's not until sat and I do have time to prepare) and I confess I totally regreat not pouncing on my hunny and doing him in the back of his car today!! lol


----------



## PunkyGurly74

IC that I am not liking my body today - at this moment - le sigh


----------



## Lovelyone

I confess that I am having a really really rough day and crawling back into bed is looking better and better. I feel like I lost my faith and belief in myself.


----------



## Tau

Movies where men beat each other up make me desperately horny. Watching Never Back Down, just did Fight Club and Snatch, and I'm about to spontaneously combust  What is that even??? *hides head in shame*


----------



## Isa

IC to being disturbed at the number of views both the underwear preference and first orgasm threads have and reminds me why I've not posted in either. It makes me wish this was a closed sub forum.


----------



## Punkin1024

PunkyGurly74 said:


> IC that I am not liking my body today - at this moment - le sigh



"Hugs" I have days like this too.



Lovelyone said:


> I confess that I am having a really really rough day and crawling back into bed is looking better and better. I feel like I lost my faith and belief in myself.



I'm so sorry you are feeling down. Perhaps rest is what you do really need or do something that you like doing that will help bring you back to a better place. "hugs"


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Tau said:


> Movies where men beat each other up make me desperately horny. Watching Never Back Down, just did Fight Club and Snatch, and I'm about to spontaneously combust  What is that even??? *hides head in shame*



Fight Club is one of my favorite movies....I have come to realize I sort of like violent movies....it sort of hmm..gets me going too :doh:



Punkin1024 said:


> "Hugs" I have days like this too.
> I'm so sorry you are feeling down. Perhaps rest is what you do really need or do something that you like doing that will help bring you back to a better place. "hugs"




It is okay..just bad clothes day...


----------



## Jes

Isa said:


> IC to being disturbed at the number of views both the underwear preference and first orgasm threads have and reminds me why I've not posted in either. It makes me wish this was a closed sub forum.


I confess we must not deserve one.


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC I need a hug


----------



## Punkin1024

luscious_lulu said:


> IC I need a hug



(((((((HUGS)))))))


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

ThatFatGirl said:


> Same here. The thought of dudes reading and wanking to stories of preteen sexual discoveries makes me nauseous.



Just post random pics of maxi pads or diva cups in those threads....that usually gets them dis-interested


----------



## rubenesquehunny

I have so many things to confess lol a BBW cofession...I confess it totally strokes my ego with all the positive male feedback...I know I shouldn't like it but I do:blush: I have to be honest


----------



## luscious_lulu

Punkin1024 said:


> (((((((HUGS)))))))



Thank you...


----------



## Jes

ThatFatGirl said:


> Same here. The thought of dudes reading and wanking to stories of preteen sexual discoveries makes me nauseous.



i confess we already have a board for that--the Library!


----------



## mossystate

Two weeks not posting here, and I am not sure how I feel about coming back. How much was simply a habit. I did learn a few things. Grasshopper.


----------



## cinnamitch

mossystate said:


> Two weeks not posting here, and I am not sure how I feel about coming back. How much was simply a habit. I did learn a few things. Grasshopper.



I missed you:blush:


----------



## mossystate

cinnamitch said:


> I missed you:blush:



You are a sweet one.:kiss2:


----------



## LovelyLiz

mossystate said:


> Two weeks not posting here, and I am not sure how I feel about coming back. How much was simply a habit. I did learn a few things. Grasshopper.



Was this a self-imposed or other-imposed time away?


----------



## mossystate

mcbeth said:


> Was this a self-imposed or other-imposed time away?



Yes.

.......


----------



## LovelyLiz

mossystate said:


> Yes.



Fair enough.


----------



## Punkin1024

IC I'm so tired and I need to cook some chicken tonight, but I just don't feel like it. I don't like daylight savings time!


----------



## luscious_lulu

:wubu:


Punkin1024 said:


> IC I'm so tired and I need to cook some chicken tonight, but I just don't feel like it. I don't like daylight savings time!



I know how you feel.


----------



## Ruffie

I confess that I am so ready for my holidays that start in three days. Life has been so stressful lately with the 7 folks losing their jobs at the end of the month and the resulting tensions, spring teen drama, short staffed as people use their holidays before the end of the month(our year end) or being sick and just feeling on call the entire time. For instance dealt with staff issues for a while via text message before I went in yesterday, worked my shift on my feet cooking all day, came home to have a hot bath and had to get out of tub and deal for 50 minutes via phone and text message with a situation that occurred after I left. Then tried to go to bed early and someone calls for the photography business looking for information on Graduation prices just before ten. Have my sons friend coming from Maine on Saturday for a visit and have to somehow get this house in order before then too. Calgon take me away!


----------



## bonified

I confess its St Patricks day I'm wearing green tis my favourite colour so i just smoked some, have my luck of the Irish badge on too & now off to work. Today will be a good day


----------



## Webmaster

mcbeth said:


> Fair enough.



Just for clarity's sake, Mossy was NOT in time-out or anything.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Punkin1024 said:


> IC I'm so tired and I need to cook some chicken tonight, but I just don't feel like it. I don't like daylight savings time!



I don't like losing the sleep and my girls having to re-adjust their sleep schedules but I do like the extra hour of daylight when I get off of work


----------



## Jes

I confess that the Daylight saving time is FUCKING ME UP this year. I have absolutely no idea why. It's never done so before! But I feel jet lagged and it's not giving up! Nastyass honey badger!


----------



## rubenesquehunny

I confess I am not being productive lol 420:wubu:


----------



## hrd

this summer i want to learn how to keep bees, and i'd like to set up my darkroom - and build some bat boxes and start an enormous flower garden (how cool would a small backyard maze be?) and paint over the wretched '60s/'70s fake wood paneling that's in every single room of the house - so all i need to do is either stumble across a giant pile of money or get really incredibly skilled in the art of whatever qualifies as rural dumpster diving/freecycling =)


----------



## 1love_emily

I confess that right now I wish I looked like Katy Perry


----------



## Jes

i confess i'm using the repeat function with youtube for ... wait for it ... Ke$ha.

oh dear god. I'm too far gone, aren't i?


----------



## Jes

Would you SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY? 

I am sitting here after a very long day of work and this nut to my right has been on the phone for an hour, not 15 ft from me, discussing union business VERY VERY LOUDLY. I get nothing from the union! I'm not in it and I don't want to hear about it EVERY GODDAMNED DAY. After about 4.30, this office turns into a fucking free for all. I've now been here 90 min longer than I should be b/c I can't concentrate with LOUDMOUTH talking NON-FUCKING-STOP.


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC that I just had the most deliciously dirty chat. :blush:


----------



## Tau

luscious_lulu said:


> IC that I just had the most deliciously dirty chat. :blush:



LIKE VERY VERY HARD!!!!


----------



## Tau

rubenesquehunny said:


> I have so many things to confess lol a BBW cofession...I confess it totally strokes my ego with all the positive male feedback...I know I shouldn't like it but I do:blush: I have to be honest



You have every right in the world to enjoy positive male feedback on your yumminess - nothing to feel guilty about!


----------



## Tau

Jes said:


> i confess i'm using the repeat function with youtube for ... wait for it ... Ke$ha.
> 
> oh dear god. I'm too far gone, aren't i?



LOOOOOOOOOOOL!!! Way too far gone man! There's no coming back from that one Jes


----------



## blueeyedevie

Im lonely... Long Island is beautiful but i'm lonley....


----------



## PunkyGurly74

IC that I wish I could take a pill and just be an average weight...I'm so tired of being so hideous to the opposite sex.


----------



## Fallenangel2904

IC that days like today make me wish I had someone to cuddle with


----------



## 1love_emily

I confess that I want to have intimacy with only one man. There is only one guy I could ever imagine kissing. There is only one man that I truly adore.


----------



## 1love_emily

1love_emily said:


> I confess that I want to have intimacy with only one man. There is only one guy I could ever imagine kissing. There is only one man that I truly adore.



One more thing, my antics finally worked! He blew me a kiss tonight. Oh sweet heavens, only 6 weeks till I can see him. I don't think I can stand it.


----------



## budbunny

I confess that, after talking with an ex, I now have 3 guys to juggle...and I'm not good at juggling ! I am all about full disclosure...and I'm only FD with one...I have a bleeding heart and cannot bear to hurt anyone...guess I just have to let time play out as it will...


----------



## budbunny

1love_emily said:


> One more thing, my antics finally worked! He blew me a kiss tonight. Oh sweet heavens, only 6 weeks till I can see him. I don't think I can stand it.



AWWWWWW..I know how that feels...go with it if it feels right mama !! =)


----------



## Mishty

One of my guy friends from high school tonight reminded me that we used to park at preppies when they attend our parties, so we barked(for old time sakes), and his girl friend played with my hair, everything was great, good music, Crown Royal, good vibe, etc. Drunken good times, then he says something out of the way, I ignored it and turned my head, only to see his girlfriend giving me the evil eye and walking away. How do women get so pissed at other women over shit their tom catting men do. Really? 



yeah, I'm still drunk.


----------



## Jes

i confess that i like sausage and that there are several types of it in this house right now! mrrroowr!


----------



## LovelyLiz

Jes said:


> i confess that i like sausage and that there are several types of it in this house right now! mrrroowr!



Dirty girl.


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC that I have issues...


----------



## AmazingAmy

IC that, today on the train, I pretended to be fat enough to take up a little bit of the seat next to me, to stop anyone sitting down. The controversy of hogging space on public transport aside, I'm pretty sure I'll do it again.


----------



## ashmamma84

IC I've been having the most productive weeks at work. It feels good! I feel accomplished!


----------



## 1love_emily

I confess I really want a boyfriend! I'm SO TIRED of being alone all of the time. 

I confess that this cold makes me feel like there are little hamsters made of cotton balls roaming around my upper respiratory system.

I confess that sleep and trombone are the only things that sound good to me.

I confess that I'm counting down the days till I leave for music camp.. June 27th... June 27th...

I confess I'm also counting down the days till I see him.... May 7th... May 7th...

I confess that I almost said "alto" instead of "also" above. HAH. Altos.

I confess that no one will give me any rep or any replies because I am quite boring. Tis true.


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC that I am buzzed in my school's library at 6:15pm and working on my dissertation proposal. I met a friend for a study break at 4pm, and I thought we were going to have coffee, but apparently he had other plans. So now I am buzzedly working on my proposal around a bunch of sober, serious students... shhhhhhhhhhhh.


----------



## Lovelyone

My best friend and I joke about how we are polar opposites when we compare our love lives. Whenever she is attached or found someone to adore, I am single and not looking (and sometimes sad and lonely about it). Whenever I am attached, she is single--but for the first time in my adult life I am okay with being a single woman. Also, I figure if my being single will keep her happy and in love...its well worth it.


----------



## LisaInNC

I confess I am really bad at the FWB thing and miss REAL dating.


----------



## DeerVictory

I have been feeling so terrible about myself lately. I just dislike so much about myself. It's been a long time since I've hated my appearance to this extent and I don't know how to pick myself up again.


----------



## paintsplotch

IC that as usual i am intensely lonely.
i dont need a man to make me happy... but i would be happier if i had someone who loved me back.
i havent had a bf that stuck around..... i so desperately want that. 
i love feeling beautiful in someone's eyes. so when i am single, which is most always...... i feel less so. 
its not that i think i am ugly..... i just like feeling that someone finds me sexy and they enjoy looking at me....... that i am more than just the funny fat friend..... 
loved by all..... yet loved by no one is torture in a way thats hard to explain. :doh:
alas... my heart aches terribly.


----------



## aocutiepi

Lovelyone said:


> My best friend and I joke about how we are polar opposites when we compare our love lives. Whenever she is attached or found someone to adore, I am single and not looking (and sometimes sad and lonely about it). Whenever I am attached, she is single--but for the first time in my adult life I am okay with being a single woman. Also, I figure if my being single will keep her happy and in love...its well worth it.



Best. Attitude. Ever.


----------



## aocutiepi

I confess that "my" basketball team made the NCAA DI Final Four and since my best girl friend is having a party to celebrate and watch the game Saturday I was nervous about looking frumpy compared to her and all of the other hot girls there because there aren't many girly sports shirts that come in plus sizes--I thought I'd be stuck in a men's tee. But I found a website that carried women's cut sports team apparel up to a 2x (22/24)! I am so excited to rock the cute girly tee with pearls and heels. I am feeling unusually confident at the moment and just had to share.


----------



## crayola box

aocutiepi said:


> I confess that "my" basketball team made the NCAA DI Final Four and since my best girl friend is having a party to celebrate and watch the game Saturday I was nervous about looking frumpy compared to her and all of the other hot girls there because there aren't many girly sports shirts that come in plus sizes--I thought I'd be stuck in a men's tee. But I found a website that carried women's cut sports team apparel up to a 2x (22/24)! I am so excited to rock the cute girly tee with pearls and heels. I am feeling unusually confident at the moment and just had to share.



Yay! Have fun!


----------



## Punkin1024

Hi All,
Haven't been around much this week. Hubby and I were told that our nephew was killed in an ambush in Afghanistan. Our whole week has been just moving from day to day. To those of you that have seen me on Facebook, thanks for the regards, prayers and thoughts. They've been much appreciated.


----------



## Tania

Punkin1024 said:


> Hi All,
> Haven't been around much this week. Hubby and I were told that our nephew was killed in an ambush in Afghanistan. Our whole week has been just moving from day to day. To those of you that have seen me on Facebook, thanks for the regards, prayers and thoughts. They've been much appreciated.



What a horrible waste. I'm so, so, so sorry - I really don't know what else to say except my thoughts are with your family.


----------



## Mishty

I never thought I'd be the kind of broad that likes much younger men, but it would seem I'm a cougar.


----------



## CastingPearls

Punkin1024 said:


> Hi All,
> Haven't been around much this week. Hubby and I were told that our nephew was killed in an ambush in Afghanistan. Our whole week has been just moving from day to day. To those of you that have seen me on Facebook, thanks for the regards, prayers and thoughts. They've been much appreciated.


My deepest condolences to you and your family. I'm so very sorry, Ella. Big hugs.


----------



## littlefairywren

Punkin1024 said:


> Hi All,
> Haven't been around much this week. Hubby and I were told that our nephew was killed in an ambush in Afghanistan. Our whole week has been just moving from day to day. To those of you that have seen me on Facebook, thanks for the regards, prayers and thoughts. They've been much appreciated.



Ella, I am so sorry for your loss. Soft hugs.


----------



## paintsplotch

Punkin1024 said:


> Hi All,
> Haven't been around much this week. Hubby and I were told that our nephew was killed in an ambush in Afghanistan. Our whole week has been just moving from day to day. To those of you that have seen me on Facebook, thanks for the regards, prayers and thoughts. They've been much appreciated.



sniffles...... i am so very sorry. it seems so many people around me are losing loved ones. its just aweful. i am just so sorry. i send you big hugs and lots of loving thoughts. he is with you now always.... its just such a damned shame lives are cut so very short before their time.


----------



## BrownDown09

ic that I had a bad feeling with this guy I was chatting with. I was right, he turned out to be a creeper. argh!!!!!


----------



## LovelyLiz

BrownDown09 said:


> ic that I had a bad feeling with this guy I was chatting with. I was right, he turned out to be a creeper. argh!!!!!



In my experience, the gut instinct is right about 99% of the time... Glad you found out sooner than later!


----------



## Lovelyone

Punkin1024 said:


> Hi All,
> Haven't been around much this week. Hubby and I were told that our nephew was killed in an ambush in Afghanistan. Our whole week has been just moving from day to day. To those of you that have seen me on Facebook, thanks for the regards, prayers and thoughts. They've been much appreciated.



My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.


----------



## BrownDown09

mcbeth said:


> In my experience, the gut instinct is right about 99% of the time... Glad you found out sooner than later!



Yes I'm really glad. What makes me really mad is that he wanted me to text him but along with some pics. I said no and text him to say hey and he replied with wrong number. Anyway... 

I hope everything is going well with you, Mcbeth. 

Ic that I'm so glad is Friday. I had a rough week and now I'm going relax with a good book.


----------



## Aust99

IC all I want to do after working the last 6 days is have a soak in the bath... but at my house, I don't fit in the one I have.  Too tall And too fat. I'll have to have a long shower instead.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Punkin1024 said:


> Hi All,
> Haven't been around much this week. Hubby and I were told that our nephew was killed in an ambush in Afghanistan. Our whole week has been just moving from day to day. To those of you that have seen me on Facebook, thanks for the regards, prayers and thoughts. They've been much appreciated.




(((hugs)))


----------



## Punkin1024

I'm ready for some good news. Sigh! Anybody got any?


----------



## 1love_emily

Punkin1024 said:


> I'm ready for some good news. Sigh! Anybody got any?



I may be in loooooooove :wubu:


----------



## paintsplotch

1love_emily said:


> I may be in loooooooove :wubu:



OOOOOOHHHH do tell!


----------



## 1love_emily

paintsplotch said:


> OOOOOOHHHH do tell!



Can I PM you the story?... I don't want to say anything out loud because I don't want to jinx anything


----------



## LovelyLiz

1love_emily said:


> Can I PM you the story?... I don't want to say anything out loud because I don't want to jinx anything



Awwwww...no fair! Totally understand though.  Wishing you well in the exciting possibility!


----------



## Tau

1love_emily said:


> I may be in loooooooove :wubu:



YAY!!! Very happy for you chica


----------



## 1love_emily

mcbeth said:


> Awwwww...no fair! Totally understand though.  Wishing you well in the exciting possibility!





Tau said:


> YAY!!! Very happy for you chica



I didn't know I had this much of an audience  Yeah, I'll go ahead and post it!

Well, a while ago there was this app on facebook you could use called "are you interested" and, at the time, you could be under 18 and have a profile. So, of course being a desperate and relationship-repressed sophomore in high school, I enacted this profile. I never got anything on it till one day I got this message saying that this boy thought I was really pretty. At the time, my profile picture was of me and my gorgeous blonde, skinny, blue eyed friend. I told him that I was not the blonde, but instead the more rubensesque one. He then told me that I was the one he was interested in.

Over the course of two and a half years, we've on and off, metaphorically together. We text, call, and Skype. 

Well, recently, we've been Skyping more and more and finally have a plan set to meet in real life. Everything we had done had been through media. Well, last night I was Skyping him, and it happened to turn midnight into his birthday. We talked and talked and talked and just something inside of me clicked. I felt myself wanting to be right there with him. Something about him feels right. I know he wants the best for me, I know he wants the best for us. I know that he likes me, he knows I like him. He knows how my face crinkles to the right when I'm embarrassed. I know his little mannerisms, I know this little smile he gets when he's thinking about us being together, he knows that his wink drives me wild, I know that he loves my arms. I just want to serenade him and kiss him and be with him all the time. I think that it will finally feel normal to be close with a guy. Every other guy I've been close to have made me feel awkward and self conscious. But I know he loves my curves, my fat, my quirks, my dorkiness. I know he likes it... 

Just thinking about him makes me warm and tingly, confident and calm, yet nervous and anxious. It makes my heart thump, my stomach rumble, my hands shake, my knees knock, it makes me smile. 

I was the first to tell him happy birthday today. He's 20, I'm 18. And this summer, he promised me he'd come visit me while I'm at music camp.

If you want to do some lurking and snooping, his name, on here, is Dism4l. 

One more thing... You know how they say "Wait for the guy who calls you beautiful. Because the guy who calls you sexy is looking at your body and the guy who calls you pretty is looking at your face. But the guy who calls you beautiful is looking at your heart"

He calls me beautiful. For two years up until last night I was only sexy or hot or pretty to him, and I loved it! But last night we weren't really talking on skype, we were kind of sitting looking at each other and he got this adorable little smile and kind of chuckled. I asked him he was thinking of or looking at. All he said was "Your beautiful face". I don't know, and maybe I'm digging in too deep to it, but I felt like at that moment something happened.


----------



## Tau

I have this client I adored - as in genuinely enjoyed this person. I really despise my job - I have no actual respect for my profession and am doing PR work for this final year just so that I can pay for my university fees and live - so having a client I don't hate with every particle of my being makes a job that already pisses me off just a bit more bearable. I worked with him for about a year and then he got a new boss who...is not my favourite person in the world. The account has become uncomfortable, unfriendly. They are demanding and ridiculous in many of their requests. Currently making a loss on the work we do for them because the hours being spent absolutely do not equal the retainer they are paying. So, long story short, he's been fucking up at work and his boss has been asking questions about why stuff is slipping through the cracks and why we're missing PR opportunities in market. My boss told me a week ago that this douche who I used to actually like has been claiming that the PR stuff ups are my fault and that I'm letting work lapse and slip through the cracks. I am so angry and so fucking hurt - and I'm even angrier that I'm wasting actual hurt emotion on such a raging twat of a human being  He's telling outright lies about me and then giving me big fat fake smiles to my face. I've got all my proof on email and can back myself up for days - that's not my concern. What I'm actually quite devastated about is the wasted emotion I spent on this person  What makes this entire situation even more unbearable is that I have been instructed not to confront him about the issue because he's client - FUCK CLIENT!!! - and I have to keep faking having any kind of like or respect for him until I can hand in my resignation at the end of this year. I'm so done you guys - just finished with all the defensive, brainless bullshit that comes with this job. And I'm sick to death of unprofessional cowards who don't even have the fucking spine to claim their own wrongs when it comes to their mistakes. *VOMITS!*


----------



## paintsplotch

Tau said:


> I have this client I adored - as in genuinely enjoyed this person. I really despise my job - I have no actual respect for my profession and am doing PR work for this final year just so that I can pay for my university fees and live - so having a client I don't hate with every particle of my being makes a job that already pisses me off just a bit more bearable. I worked with him for about a year and then he got a new boss who...is not my favourite person in the world. The account has become uncomfortable, unfriendly. They are demanding and ridiculous in many of their requests. Currently making a loss on the work we do for them because the hours being spent absolutely do not equal the retainer they are paying. So, long story short, he's been fucking up at work and his boss has been asking questions about why stuff is slipping through the cracks and why we're missing PR opportunities in market. My boss told me a week ago that this douche who I used to actually like has been claiming that the PR stuff ups are my fault and that I'm letting work lapse and slip through the cracks. I am so angry and so fucking hurt - and I'm even angrier that I'm wasting actual hurt emotion on such a raging twat of a human being  He's telling outright lies about me and then giving me big fat fake smiles to my face. I've got all my proof on email and can back myself up for days - that's not my concern. What I'm actually quite devastated about is the wasted emotion I spent on this person  What makes this entire situation even more unbearable is that I have been instructed not to confront him about the issue because he's client - FUCK CLIENT!!! - and I have to keep faking having any kind of like or respect for him until I can hand in my resignation at the end of this year. I'm so done you guys - just finished with all the defensive, brainless bullshit that comes with this job. And I'm sick to death of unprofessional cowards who don't even have the fucking spine to claim their own wrongs when it comes to their mistakes. *VOMITS!*




suckfest chickie. ive been in similar situations...... its a painful lesson. i wish you luck and have fun and smile like crazy when you hand in your resignation.


----------



## Tau

Thanks for sharing that Em! Really happy for you . It feels so good to be into somebody like that. *HUGZ!*



1love_emily said:


> I didn't know I had this much of an audience  Yeah, I'll go ahead and post it!
> 
> Well, a while ago there was this app on facebook you could use called "are you interested" and, at the time, you could be under 18 and have a profile. So, of course being a desperate and relationship-repressed sophomore in high school, I enacted this profile. I never got anything on it till one day I got this message saying that this boy thought I was really pretty. At the time, my profile picture was of me and my gorgeous blonde, skinny, blue eyed friend. I told him that I was not the blonde, but instead the more rubensesque one. He then told me that I was the one he was interested in.
> 
> Over the course of two and a half years, we've on and off, metaphorically together. We text, call, and Skype.
> 
> Well, recently, we've been Skyping more and more and finally have a plan set to meet in real life. Everything we had done had been through media. Well, last night I was Skyping him, and it happened to turn midnight into his birthday. We talked and talked and talked and just something inside of me clicked. I felt myself wanting to be right there with him. Something about him feels right. I know he wants the best for me, I know he wants the best for us. I know that he likes me, he knows I like him. He knows how my face crinkles to the right when I'm embarrassed. I know his little mannerisms, I know this little smile he gets when he's thinking about us being together, he knows that his wink drives me wild, I know that he loves my arms. I just want to serenade him and kiss him and be with him all the time. I think that it will finally feel normal to be close with a guy. Every other guy I've been close to have made me feel awkward and self conscious. But I know he loves my curves, my fat, my quirks, my dorkiness. I know he likes it...
> 
> Just thinking about him makes me warm and tingly, confident and calm, yet nervous and anxious. It makes my heart thump, my stomach rumble, my hands shake, my knees knock, it makes me smile.
> 
> I was the first to tell him happy birthday today. He's 20, I'm 18. And this summer, he promised me he'd come visit me while I'm at music camp.
> 
> If you want to do some lurking and snooping, his name, on here, is Dism4l.
> 
> One more thing... You know how they say "Wait for the guy who calls you beautiful. Because the guy who calls you sexy is looking at your body and the guy who calls you pretty is looking at your face. But the guy who calls you beautiful is looking at your heart"
> 
> He calls me beautiful. For two years up until last night I was only sexy or hot or pretty to him, and I loved it! But last night we weren't really talking on skype, we were kind of sitting looking at each other and he got this adorable little smile and kind of chuckled. I asked him he was thinking of or looking at. All he said was "Your beautiful face". I don't know, and maybe I'm digging in too deep to it, but I felt like at that moment something happened.


----------



## Tau

paintsplotch said:


> suckfest chickie. ive been in similar situations...... its a painful lesson. i wish you luck and have fun and smile like crazy when you hand in your resignation.



Thanks hon - and i will be grinning sooooo hard! Can't wait!


----------



## Tania

Yeah, that's shitty mcshitterson, Tau. But, as you say, the good news is that it's pretty much over. 

At any rate, unless this guy learns his lesson and changes his game, people are going to get wise to his lies soon, if they haven't already. Sounds like his boss is already in his grill to some extent, given that he pulled rank on him for the duration of the project. If his boss really thought that dude was blameless, i doubt he would've taken the lead in communications like that. 

Here's to new beginnings! Which reminds me...

***

...it's spring and I confess that am soooo jonesing for a change of scene. I severely miss Orange County. I miss my friends down there, my lifestyle, Disneyland, everything. Gretchen and I are having our birthday party aboard Queen Mary in June, and that seems so far off I could cry.


----------



## paintsplotch

i c
i sometimes wonder if i think too much on love and my hope of finding someone. 
i also hope i am not thoroughly annoying to those who read my posts as i am often not so very quiet about my wish for a companion. so my apologies if i annoy.


----------



## LovelyLiz

paintsplotch said:


> i c
> i sometimes wonder if i think too much on love and my hope of finding someone.
> i also hope i am not thoroughly annoying to those who read my posts as i am often not so very quiet about my wish for a companion. so my apologies if i annoy.



We've all been there, paintsplotch. If it helps you to express that longing out loud, go for it. I don't find it annoying - and I hope that whether through finding love or some other way, that the longing is soon able to quiet down for a while.


----------



## CastingPearls

paintsplotch said:


> i c
> i sometimes wonder if i think too much on love and my hope of finding someone.
> i also hope i am not thoroughly annoying to those who read my posts as i am often not so very quiet about my wish for a companion. so my apologies if i annoy.


You're not annoying at all and to me, from our limited interaction here and elsewhere, you are lovely, you are loving and you are absolutely loveable.


----------



## CastingPearls

IC this is very painful to say but I feel like if I don't I'll start breaking things. I don't understand how I married a man who is incapable of or unwilling to show me any any ANY physical affection. This may be inappropriate for a public message board but I have never felt more alone and rejected than I have this weekend at a lovers resort.  It wasn't even my idea so it's not like I planned to seduce the guy. I'm tired and I'm sick and I'm DONE.


----------



## luscious_lulu

CastingPearls said:


> IC this is very painful to say but I feel like if I don't I'll start breaking things. I don't understand how I married a man who is incapable of or unwilling to show me any any ANY physical affection. This may be inappropriate for a public message board but I have never felt more alone and rejected than I have this weekend at a lovers resort.  It wasn't even my idea so it's not like I planned to seduce the guy. I'm tired and I'm sick and I'm DONE.





(((hugs)))


----------



## fatgirlflyin

IC I've started dating again and have been having a lot of fun doing it!


----------



## mossystate

fatgirlflyin said:


> ... have been having a lot of fun doing it!





Stop rubbing noses in it.

Wait. Nevermind.

Good for you.


----------



## thatgirl08

IC that stress makes me feel incredibly unattractive and given the amount I've been under lately, I haven't felt like looking in the mirror much.


----------



## Jes

I confess that all of my friends from graduate school (the first time) look reaaaaalllly old.

but I'm sure I continue to look a dewy 24 years old. *cough*


[surely this is the human condition, right? to notice everyone else aging but not really see it in yourself. it's pretty funny if you think about it. i'm never going to be a teen model!]


----------



## Emma

AmazingAmy said:


> IC that, today on the train, I pretended to be fat enough to take up a little bit of the seat next to me, to stop anyone sitting down. The controversy of hogging space on public transport aside, I'm pretty sure I'll do it again.



I took inspiration from you today and instead of squeezing up to make more room for others I actually just relaxed and spread out and thought screwwww you guys! lol


----------



## Tau

paintsplotch said:


> i c
> i sometimes wonder if i think too much on love and my hope of finding someone.
> i also hope i am not thoroughly annoying to those who read my posts as i am often not so very quiet about my wish for a companion. so my apologies if i annoy.



Not at all honey - share away. We all have those days *hugz*


----------



## Tau

CastingPearls said:


> IC this is very painful to say but I feel like if I don't I'll start breaking things. I don't understand how I married a man who is incapable of or unwilling to show me any any ANY physical affection. This may be inappropriate for a public message board but I have never felt more alone and rejected than I have this weekend at a lovers resort.  It wasn't even my idea so it's not like I planned to seduce the guy. I'm tired and I'm sick and I'm DONE.



You have an exit strategy hon - just hold to that and know that you won't have to deal with that anymore. Sending love chica


----------



## Tau

thatgirl08 said:


> IC that stress makes me feel incredibly unattractive and given the amount I've been under lately, I haven't felt like looking in the mirror much.



*HUGZ* Right there with you. My eczema's trying to make a come back cos of how stressed out I've been too - hate that shit


----------



## ashmamma84

IC that I think its the beginning of the end of a 10+ year friendship with a woman who I'll call Nia. I am honestly exhausted and frustrated with my futile attempts to help her help herself. She's 36 and still lives at home with her elderly parents (how are you living at home at that age!!!) And has never left. Never had anything of her own, even if it was a cardboard box. I feel like there's been a severe case of arrested development because she never had to do for herself and its cost her a lot.She's never had a steady boyfriend and she lives a rather mundane life. However when she complains about it and I offer up suggestions, they're shot down. Well, I'm tired of things going through one ear and out the other. I have my life to live. I still love her, but as much as it pains me to do so, I'm leaving well enough alone. I confess.


----------



## thatgirl08

Tau said:


> *HUGZ* Right there with you. My eczema's trying to make a come back cos of how stressed out I've been too - hate that shit



<3 things will look up for both of us :]


----------



## paintsplotch

CastingPearls said:


> IC this is very painful to say but I feel like if I don't I'll start breaking things. I don't understand how I married a man who is incapable of or unwilling to show me any any ANY physical affection. This may be inappropriate for a public message board but I have never felt more alone and rejected than I have this weekend at a lovers resort.  It wasn't even my idea so it's not like I planned to seduce the guy. I'm tired and I'm sick and I'm DONE.



ill duct tape him down so you can beat him with a wet noodle. 

me loveth you.... you are wonderfully squeezably awesome. how he CANT see that is beyond my small brain to fathom. he must be dead inside to not love you with every fiber of his being.


----------



## paintsplotch

i c 

i love you all for your support and wish i could hug you. so nice to be accepted somewhere. you rock 
:wubu:


----------



## Punkin1024

"Hugs" to all of you going through a rough spot in your life. I'm hanging in there and hope to see an end to sad/bad news soon.


----------



## Tania

This is the part where the hives and swollen eyes begin.  No strawberries, no tomatoes, and zyrtec + benadryl every day. I HATE THE CENTRAL VALLEY.


----------



## 1love_emily

I confess that I'm getting really tired of people not accepting that I like myself. It seems like whenever they can, they try to tell me that I'll be better if I'm thinner. Thinner is not synonymous with better. 

I'm almost an oddity in my family for not wanting to change. All of them sit and eat salad and water while I have pizza and soda. They harp on me for not being healthy and not wanting to be normal. But why can't society accept that healthy is not just a size, but also a state of mind? I'm healthiest when I'm happy. I'm happy when I'm playing trombone, watching movies, or eating a delicious pizza.


----------



## HottiMegan

IC i scared the crap out of myself with depressive thoughts


----------



## Punkin1024

IC that it is at times like these that I really need all the prayers, positive thoughts and all that I can get. We learned this evening that my hubby's Uncle had a blood clot lodge in his brain while undergoing a procedure to unclog a main artery. Now the family is being called in.  Also, hubby's nephew that was killed in the line of duty in Afghanistan last Tuesday will be buried tomorrow morning at his home base in Kentucky. Along with my grief over the loss of a dear Uncle this past Monday, it is just almost too much for us. Please keep those prayers, positive vibes and what have you coming our way. This weekend is gonna be a tough one. Thank you.


----------



## thatgirl08

IC that its hard to be outspoken, especially when that is so often confused with bitchiness.


----------



## Oirish

Tania said:


> This is the part where the hives and swollen eyes begin.  No strawberries, no tomatoes, and zyrtec + benadryl every day. I HATE THE CENTRAL VALLEY.



I hear that. I grew up in Tehachapi with awful allergies. This year has been nasty for them in SLO too. I feel like I've got a sinus infection and a cold but it's just all these damn allegens in the air. Small price to pay for the rain and then warm sunny days though.


----------



## jewels_mystery

Punkin1024 said:


> IC that it is at times like these that I really need all the prayers, positive thoughts and all that I can get. We learned this evening that my hubby's Uncle had a blood clot lodge in his brain while undergoing a procedure to unclog a main artery. Now the family is being called in.  Also, hubby's nephew that was killed in the line of duty in Afghanistan last Tuesday will be buried tomorrow morning at his home base in Kentucky. Along with my grief over the loss of a dear Uncle this past Monday, it is just almost too much for us. Please keep those prayers, positive vibes and what have you coming our way. This weekend is gonna be a tough one. Thank you.



I am so sorry. That is too much to deal with. {{Hugs, hugs, hugs}}


----------



## Ruffie

Sending positive thoughts to all those struggling right now.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Punkin1024 said:


> IC that it is at times like these that I really need all the prayers, positive thoughts and all that I can get. We learned this evening that my hubby's Uncle had a blood clot lodge in his brain while undergoing a procedure to unclog a main artery. Now the family is being called in.  Also, hubby's nephew that was killed in the line of duty in Afghanistan last Tuesday will be buried tomorrow morning at his home base in Kentucky. Along with my grief over the loss of a dear Uncle this past Monday, it is just almost too much for us. Please keep those prayers, positive vibes and what have you coming our way. This weekend is gonna be a tough one. Thank you.



(((hugs)))


----------



## mossystate

I love when a man calls women...women. :smitten::smitten::smitten::smitten::smitten:


----------



## hrd

my day just perked up a bit - there's only one patch of snow left, it's supposed to stay above freezing for at least the next week, and i just found some random snowdrops and croci in the yard - it's been a long couple of months, and i'm definitely ready for spring -


----------



## 1love_emily

I'm so tired. But I have a Skype date in an hour.. I'm going to take a nap


----------



## Arrhythmia

IC...that I haven't had sex...in two years. GAWD, I'm dying!!!!.......


----------



## DarkestBurningStar

_I confess that I am 23 years old and I've only had two "relationships", and neither of them lasted over a month and a half. 

I also confess that I am only now starting to feel, not comfortable, but more accepting of my body. _


----------



## Joanagrace

IC that I did something with a man today that would make my mother blush  and I've never felt sexier or more secure in a relationship.

IC that I thick I love him.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

First, to punkin... I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. :: hugs ::

IC that I feel like I am being punished for not being able to be thin. I have never known a relationship, I have never been loved, I'm not considered attractive, I have a degree, yet, can only garner job offers where I make shit money. I'm surrounded by boxes (as I am moving in) and I have no one to call to ask to help me. Not sure what the fuck the point of life is at this point and not sure I really care to stick around.


----------



## thatgirl08

This really has nothing to do with being a BBW.. but IC that I am so fucking excited about getting my own apartment that I can hardly wait the three weeks until my move in date. This packing has been kicking my ass though.


----------



## 1love_emily

I confess that I love wearing sundresses because I feel gorgeous :happy:


----------



## thatgirl08

1love_emily said:


> I confess that I love wearing sundresses because I feel gorgeous :happy:



Me too! So glad summer is almost here


----------



## Surlysomething

thatgirl08 said:


> This really has nothing to do with being a BBW.. but IC that I am so fucking excited about getting my own apartment that I can hardly wait the three weeks until my move in date. This packing has been kicking my ass though.


 

You will absolutely LOVE IT.

So happy for you, girlie.


----------



## thatgirl08

Surlysomething said:


> You will absolutely LOVE IT.
> 
> So happy for you, girlie.



Thank you doll!!


----------



## CastingPearls

thatgirl08 said:


> This really has nothing to do with being a BBW.. but IC that I am so fucking excited about getting my own apartment that I can hardly wait the three weeks until my move in date. This packing has been kicking my ass though.


Agreeing with Surly---you will LOVE it. It may be a bitch at times but it will be SO worth it. I'm excited for you!


----------



## thatgirl08

CastingPearls said:


> Agreeing with Surly---you will LOVE it. It may be a bitch at times but it will be SO worth it. I'm excited for you!



Thank you! I'm going to post pictures once I have everything decorated.. its going to be so cute!


----------



## Surlysomething

thatgirl08 said:


> Thank you doll!!


 

Remember: Ikea and Dollar store are your friends.


----------



## Cors

thatgirl08 said:


> This really has nothing to do with being a BBW.. but IC that I am so fucking excited about getting my own apartment that I can hardly wait the three weeks until my move in date. This packing has been kicking my ass though.



How exciting! Hope your move goes well.


----------



## Tania

New apartments are awesome! Congrats, Rachel.

OMG IT'S GRACIE! :*

So speaking of new places...I don't want to jinx it and I'm in the way early stages and all but...There's a chance I may be purchasing a condo or small house this fall.


----------



## aocutiepi

thatgirl08 said:


> IC that its hard to be outspoken, especially when that is so often confused with bitchiness.



I agree, thatgirl. But... if speaking my mind makes me a bitch, I guess I'm a bitch. I've also been called a snob because I carry myself like I know I matter and my opinion matters. Guess I'm a snob, too. People never cease to frustrate/amaze. *hugs* Keep going on being outspoken. There is a large need for more outspoken ladies in this world.


----------



## aocutiepi

DarkestBurningStar said:


> _I confess that I am 23 years old and I've only had two "relationships", and neither of them lasted over a month and a half.
> 
> I also confess that I am only now starting to feel, not comfortable, but more accepting of my body. _




I'm your TWIN! That's all.


----------



## aocutiepi

Sorry for the multiple posts, I hate it when I see people do that. 

Also, big soft hugs to all of you going through rough patches right now. I love all of the ladies on here so much and think of you often, even if my post volume is infrequent at best.


----------



## thatgirl08

Surlysomething said:


> Remember: Ikea and Dollar store are your friends.





Cors said:


> How exciting! Hope your move goes well.





Tania said:


> New apartments are awesome! Congrats, Rachel.
> 
> So speaking of new places...I don't want to jinx it and I'm in the way early stages and all but...There's a chance I may be purchasing a condo or small house this fall.



Thank you all so much  Hope all goes well with your move too Tania!



aocutiepi said:


> I agree, thatgirl. But... if speaking my mind makes me a bitch, I guess I'm a bitch. I've also been called a snob because I carry myself like I know I matter and my opinion matters. Guess I'm a snob, too. People never cease to frustrate/amaze. *hugs* Keep going on being outspoken. There is a large need for more outspoken ladies in this world.



You're right.. thank you


----------



## CastingPearls

I don't know if it's resolve or finding some extra inner strength I didn't know I had or even the weather, but I felt so good today in my skin. I feel really hopeful in spite of EVERYTHING and really happy.


----------



## paintsplotch

ic that im barely able to hold back the tears. i hate my job.


----------



## thatgirl08

CastingPearls said:


> I don't know if it's resolve or finding some extra inner strength I didn't know I had or even the weather, but I felt so good today in my skin. I feel really hopeful in spite of EVERYTHING and really happy.



I love this post!

IC that my throat is killing me and I'm straight up exhausted .. turns out I don't have strep but maybe mono? Back to the doctors again tomorrow. I'm already 150 in the hole thanks to being sick and I know I'm looking at at least another 25 copay tomorrow. Bleh


----------



## mossystate

My feet and knees are requesting I drop some pounds and move more in the right ways. I hope I can do them a favor. 

The maintenance guy ripped out a bunch of drywall and found a leak. I am hounding him with a million questions, no matter if he rolls his eyes right out of his head. Roomie lost two big boxes of design books, and nothing smells nicer than drywall and wood that has become wet..etc.. At least it is contained there. Bucky is not happy at strange men coming into the apartment......and I am not happy that they are not good looking. Neither of us is winning.


----------



## thatgirl08

mossystate said:


> My feet and knees are requesting I drop some pounds and move more in the right ways. I hope I can do them a favor.
> 
> The maintenance guy ripped out a bunch of drywall and found a leak. I am hounding him with a million questions, no matter if he rolls his eyes right out of his head. Roomie lost two big boxes of design books, and nothing smells nicer than drywall and wood that has become wet..etc.. At least it is contained there. Bucky is not happy at strange men coming into the apartment......and I am not happy that they are not good looking. Neither of us is winning.



Ick. It sucks your roommates stuff got ruined. It sounds like the maintenance guy is making some progress though. Good luck!


----------



## tinkerbell

IC I'm in a pissy mood, and I really don't know why. Its beautiful out, the sun is shinning, and I had a nice bike ride with my husband.

But I'm still in a pissy mood. Though it did make me smile a bit (as it usually does) when my spell checker wants to change pissy to pussy


----------



## tinkerbell

Oh and last one. IC I really REALLY want pizza for dinner tonight. However I do not have the extra money ATM. This pizza place that we discovered down the road from us is amazing. Two layers of pepperoni, 3 different kinds of cheese (mozzarella, shredded Parmesan, provolone) and oregano flakes. OMG.


----------



## mossystate

thatgirl08 said:


> Ick. It sucks your roommates stuff got ruined. It sounds like the maintenance guy is making some progress though. Good luck!



Thanks, Rachel. Yeah, roomie had a ton of books in Spanish from back in his days of industrial design and prepress. He is sad, as he doesn't have much from his home. I lost every book ( and that was a lot of books ) I had 4 years ago, and it's a tough loss...books. 

This maintenance guy is...OK...and right now that's all I gotta say about that.  I am trying to go to my happy place. 

Tinkerbell, if your sanity rests in the greasy, gooey, hands of a pizza, I say you check every couch cushion and ford every stream...follow every rainbow...'till you find your spicey food Valium.


----------



## CastingPearls

Some issues about my eating disorder have resurfaced and I'm really concerned I'm going to go overboard again. Whenever I start to feel really good about myself, they appear and I hate it.


----------



## mel

really pondering and ready to explore past trauma as it relates to current physical and emotion issues.


----------



## Mishty

I have a major, major crush on a much younger boy, much much younger.
Not just a studly younger man crush, but a tongue tied, red faced, more in common with him than any other human I've ever met type stalkery crush. 


shitty shitty gum drops. :doh:


----------



## Arrhythmia

tinkerbell said:


> IC I'm in a pissy mood, and I really don't know why. Its beautiful out, the sun is shinning, and I had a nice bike ride with my husband.
> 
> But I'm still in a pissy mood. *Though it did make me smile a bit (as it usually does) when my spell checker wants to change pissy to pussy *


LMAO!! Way to go spell checker! :bow:


----------



## Lovelyone

IC that I really do NOT believe that old adage that, "there is somebody for everybody."


----------



## mossystate

If you don't want non ' fa's ' posting where we don't belong, I wish you would practice what you preach.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Sometimes I feel really frustrated with myself when there are times (like today) that I still have a hard time knowing how to let certain important people in my life in to support me when I am not in a good place. It's easy to just default into the "take care of everything myself" way-of-being, or only talk to my two very best friends who've known me for like 15 years. I'm super glad to have those friends in these rough patches, but I need to figure out how to reach out to some newer people in my life too (okay, yes, one specific newer person in particular...).


----------



## firefly

CastingPearls said:


> I don't know if it's resolve or finding some extra inner strength I didn't know I had or even the weather, but I felt so good today in my skin. I feel really hopeful in spite of EVERYTHING and really happy.



This makes me feel happy - sometimes, when I read your post, I wish I'd live next door and offer you a hug and a cupcake  whenever your *** :doh: *** makes you feel like a unworthy nothing - and you are absolutely adorable!


----------



## aocutiepi

tinkerbell said:


> Oh and last one. IC I really REALLY want pizza for dinner tonight. However I do not have the extra money ATM. This pizza place that we discovered down the road from us is amazing. Two layers of pepperoni, 3 different kinds of cheese (mozzarella, shredded Parmesan, provolone) and oregano flakes. OMG.




IC I had a foodgasm imagining that pizza.


----------



## Mishty

IC I almost just drowned trying to have pool sex with a belly full of picnic food. :doh:


----------



## Arrhythmia

Mishty said:


> IC I almost just drowned trying to have pool sex with a belly full of picnic food. :doh:


Omg, Hun!


----------



## ashmamma84

IC I felt a bit annoyed by a co-worker who asked me if the reason I bring Lean Cuisine's to work was because I needed to lose weight. Uh what? So basically you think I do. So I told her, "No I have no interest in losing weight. If I could find full fat ready to go meals I'd eat those just as well. " Shock meet horror. Heh. Oh and I'm sure she died a thousand deaths when I had dessert too. 


Also, tonight it made me feel good to talk to a friend of mine. He's a West Indian guy who believes women shouldn't fight themselves tooth and nail to be at a size that isn't intuitive for them. Just be - whatever it is the Creator intended, fat, thin or in between. When I told him what happened he told me to remember to love myself. It doesn't matter what that chick thought because she was just trying to project her misery onto me. That and fat was a really beautiful look on me. I don't know if he was tryna butter my rolls or not but I did appreciate the reinforcement of what I already thought was true.


----------



## pegz

IC I had a really long day and I'm tired and I want a hot shower and to crawl into bed and be comforted by a loving massage and a sweet story whispered into my ear.


----------



## Jes

My book proposal was accepted by the publisher that solicited it this morning! I'm honestly so excited! In the scheme of comparable things, it's not such a big deal, but for me, it's HUGE. And I'm also so thrilled for my contributors--I know all of them are going to be really happy to have their work included. Awesome Friday news, and I am basking in the glow!

Drinks are on me, everyone! All 40,000 of you!


----------



## mossystate

Gots to get to the bottom of the pressure in my head thing so I can take longer walks. I need to strike when the desire is hot. Never know when that train will be back.


----------



## Arrhythmia

Jes said:


> My book proposal was accepted by the publisher that solicited it this morning! I'm honestly so excited! In the scheme of comparable things, it's not such a big deal, but for me, it's HUGE. And I'm also so thrilled for my contributors--I know all of them are going to be really happy to have their work included. Awesome Friday news, and I am basking in the glow!
> 
> Drinks are on me, everyone! All 40,000 of you!


Congrats, Dear!


----------



## aocutiepi

Jes said:


> My book proposal was accepted by the publisher that solicited it this morning! I'm honestly so excited! In the scheme of comparable things, it's not such a big deal, but for me, it's HUGE. And I'm also so thrilled for my contributors--I know all of them are going to be really happy to have their work included. Awesome Friday news, and I am basking in the glow!
> 
> Drinks are on me, everyone! All 40,000 of you!



'Grats, Jes! You rock!


----------



## tinkerbell

aocutiepi said:


> IC I had a foodgasm imagining that pizza.



Its that good. 

And IC I've had way to much of it in the past few days. Between the two of us, we've had 3 pizzas. !


----------



## LovelyLiz

Jes said:


> My book proposal was accepted by the publisher that solicited it this morning! I'm honestly so excited! In the scheme of comparable things, it's not such a big deal, but for me, it's HUGE. And I'm also so thrilled for my contributors--I know all of them are going to be really happy to have their work included. Awesome Friday news, and I am basking in the glow!
> 
> Drinks are on me, everyone! All 40,000 of you!



Wow! That's a totally big deal! Way to go! Hope you're celebrating yourself, adequately.  What's the book about?


----------



## Jes

mcbeth said:


> Wow! That's a totally big deal! Way to go! Hope you're celebrating yourself, adequately.  What's the book about?



thank you (to everyone, too)! i had a cheeseburger and went to a world-premier play last night so that was something! The book is academic; a collection of essays. The publisher is so-so, so all of the work will be on me. But I'm doing it for the greater good!


----------



## jdsumm

Jes said:


> My book proposal was accepted by the publisher that solicited it this morning! I'm honestly so excited! In the scheme of comparable things, it's not such a big deal, but for me, it's HUGE. And I'm also so thrilled for my contributors--I know all of them are going to be really happy to have their work included. Awesome Friday news, and I am basking in the glow!
> 
> Drinks are on me, everyone! All 40,000 of you!



WOW! That is so exciting! Congrats !!! :bow:


----------



## mossystate

So creeped out that fat women can't just post on YouTube, or wherever, without people wanting to crook a finger. Like taking our clothes off for money ( OK, not me, as I wouldn't have a ' niche ' and I am too old ) is automatically what comes to some minds, first and foremost. Christ almighty. What's next, sitting on benches outside Lane Bryant with cookies and business cards?


----------



## BrownDown09

ic that i'm through with online dating and freakin' happy that it is my B-day weekend!!!!


----------



## Alzison

hi thread! I confess that, ever since the last person I dated was all into my hips and booty, I keep checking out my own butt. Just the general stick-outiness. Like every time I pass a mirror. It's b-a-d! I'm afraid I'm gonna have some narcissus catastrophe, so I've been staying clear of bodies of water...


----------



## Surlysomething

It really is true that the ones you love the most are the ones that hurt you the most. Thanks for 29 painful, tiring, frustrating years, Dad. You summed it all up very nicely today. The only saving grace is getting confirmation that I wasn't making it up in my head all this time. 

It's easy to understand why everything comes back to you when i'm in counseling and why i'm so hurt, untrusting and angry.

Thanks. I won't be bothering you anymore.


----------



## CastingPearls

IC that I have a fear of heights (even little heights, like a stepladder) and social anxiety disorder (not the OMG CROWDS kind but the white knuckle can't take my hand off the front door and make the first step out kind) so I took half a Xanax and waited. 

First my stomach started to flip-flop but I expected that so, check. Then I remembered to eat a little something so I wouldn't pass out so I had a yogurt, check. Then I opened the front door and stood in the sunshine for ten minutes taking deep breathes check check, because my adoring spouse was sneering, 'I don't understand you. JUST GO' even though I've had this for about five years and compassion doesn't cost you a goddamn dime you jerk. 

Finally I said out loud, even if I get in the car and drive around, it will be worth it so I let go of the door handle and took a few steps and felt so much better. I drove to the salon and I wanted a pedi and explained that I'm afraid of even the little height of the spa chair and also I was wondering if I'd be comfy cos the arms looked a little too close for my hips and they were very gracious and it was wonderful. I got in the chair easily and fit just fine, and sitting there I thought about a lot like how much I hold myself back because I 'think' I might not fit or of the humiliation if I didn't and what kind of hypocrite am I if people think I'm fearless and inspiring and motivate them?

If all I'm doing is snowing myself then I'm not living my life and surviving ISN'T living any more than drowning is swimming. 

I read all your stories and cry and laugh with you as if you were really my sisters and I often think to myself that my problems are so petty in comparison to others so be grateful and don't complain but I really have to stop analyzing and navel gazing and dismissing what bothers me and start doing and I started that today.


----------



## jdsumm

CastingPearls said:


> IC that I have a fear of heights (even little heights, like a stepladder) and social anxiety disorder (not the OMG CROWDS kind but the white knuckle can't take my hand off the front door and make the first step out kind) so I took half a Xanax and waited.
> 
> First my stomach started to flip-flop but I expected that so, check. Then I remembered to eat a little something so I wouldn't pass out so I had a yogurt, check. Then I opened the front door and stood in the sunshine for ten minutes taking deep breathes check check, because my adoring spouse was sneering, 'I don't understand you. JUST GO' even though I've had this for about five years and compassion doesn't cost you a goddamn dime you jerk.
> 
> Finally I said out loud, even if I get in the car and drive around, it will be worth it so I let go of the door handle and took a few steps and felt so much better. I drove to the salon and I wanted a pedi and explained that I'm afraid of even the little height of the spa chair and also I was wondering if I'd be comfy cos the arms looked a little too close for my hips and they were very gracious and it was wonderful. I got in the chair easily and fit just fine, and sitting there I thought about a lot like how much I hold myself back because I 'think' I might not fit or of the humiliation if I didn't and what kind of hypocrite am I if people think I'm fearless and inspiring and motivate them?
> 
> If all I'm doing is snowing myself then I'm not living my life and surviving ISN'T living any more than drowning is swimming.
> 
> I read all your stories and cry and laugh with you as if you were really my sisters and I often think to myself that my problems are so petty in comparison to others so be grateful and don't complain but I really have to stop analyzing and navel gazing and dismissing what bothers me and start doing and I started that today.



This post reveals that you are as inspiring and motivating as ever!! Being fearless would be a wonderful thing. I've certainly never experienced much fearlessness, but assume it would be much easier to be fearless than to be courageous and act in spite of and in the midst of fears--CP you are indeed inspiring, motivating, and *courageous*!! Thanks so much for sharing.


----------



## Punkin1024

CastingPearls said:


> IC that I have a fear of heights (even little heights, like a stepladder) and social anxiety disorder (not the OMG CROWDS kind but the white knuckle can't take my hand off the front door and make the first step out kind) so I took half a Xanax and waited.
> 
> First my stomach started to flip-flop but I expected that so, check. Then I remembered to eat a little something so I wouldn't pass out so I had a yogurt, check. Then I opened the front door and stood in the sunshine for ten minutes taking deep breathes check check, because my adoring spouse was sneering, 'I don't understand you. JUST GO' even though I've had this for about five years and compassion doesn't cost you a goddamn dime you jerk.
> 
> Finally I said out loud, even if I get in the car and drive around, it will be worth it so I let go of the door handle and took a few steps and felt so much better. I drove to the salon and I wanted a pedi and explained that I'm afraid of even the little height of the spa chair and also I was wondering if I'd be comfy cos the arms looked a little too close for my hips and they were very gracious and it was wonderful. I got in the chair easily and fit just fine, and sitting there I thought about a lot like how much I hold myself back because I 'think' I might not fit or of the humiliation if I didn't and what kind of hypocrite am I if people think I'm fearless and inspiring and motivate them?
> 
> If all I'm doing is snowing myself then I'm not living my life and surviving ISN'T living any more than drowning is swimming.
> 
> I read all your stories and cry and laugh with you as if you were really my sisters and I often think to myself that my problems are so petty in comparison to others so be grateful and don't complain but I really have to stop analyzing and navel gazing and dismissing what bothers me and start doing and I started that today.



Baby steps! It will get easier. "hugs"


----------



## luscious_lulu

Castingpearls I could not be more proud of you.


----------



## Surlysomething

Surlysomething said:


> It really is true that the ones you love the most are the ones that hurt you the most. Thanks for 29 painful, tiring, frustrating years, Dad. You summed it all up very nicely today. The only saving grace is getting confirmation that I wasn't making it up in my head all this time.
> 
> It's easy to understand why everything comes back to you when i'm in counseling and why i'm so hurt, untrusting and angry.
> 
> Thanks. I won't be bothering you anymore.




Super-crazy meltdown from this. I can't wait to get out of town on Thursday.


----------



## Tania

Surlysomething said:


> Super-crazy meltdown from this. I can't wait to get out of town on Thursday.



Take care, Surly! I hope your time away allows you the metaphorical distance you need.


----------



## Surlysomething

Tania said:


> Take care, Surly! I hope your time away allows you the metaphorical distance you need.


 

Thanks, lady.


----------



## 1love_emily

He promise he'd text me. I doubt it's going to happen.


----------



## NancyGirl74

I confess that when a man stares at me my first thought is not that he finds me attractive but that's he's shocked or disturbed by my weight. Last night I caught this guy staring at me. The first and second time I caught him staring I just looked away, ignoring him which is what I usually do. The third time I stared back. The usual reaction is the other person looks away, either embarrassed at having been caught or slightly ashamed for being a creep. However, this guy held my look and gave me a smile before looking away. After that is was a cat and mouse game of looking to see if he was looking and small smiles from him. It took me more than half the time to figure out he was likely flirting with me. I'm pretty sure I was giving 'defensive, buzz off' face for the first half of the night and 'What the heck?' face for the second half. Never once did I give a 'come hither' look (I don't even know if I know how). *D'hoh* 

Is this a fat girl thing? A lack of confidence thing? A NancyGirl thing? I'm thinking all of the above...but I think being a BBW plays a big role. Most looks are not flirty so most looks get ignored. When they are flirty I just don't know how to handle them. Am I alone in the world on this?


----------



## Jes

NancyGirl74 said:


> Is this a fat girl thing? A lack of confidence thing? A NancyGirl thing? I'm thinking all of the above...but I think being a BBW plays a big role. Most looks are not flirty so most looks get ignored. When they are flirty I just don't know how to handle them. Am I alone in the world on this?



I think it's all of the above. I think that it's a pattern, a habit, and that we have to work to change it if we want to change our social/romantic/sexual luck. I think that, if you can, or can work on, saying to yourself: If someone is just looking at me, and not saying something rude, scowling, flipping me off or getting near me and being aggressive, then I'm going to look back and be pleasant. He's doing you no harm standing across a room and looking at you unless the harm is in your own head. I'm not suggesting being nice to someone calling you a pig; I'm suggesting ignoring the voice in your head if the situation is safe, and dropping a smile. Maybe you look like his dead sister who he misses. Maybe you're standing under the clock and he's not looking at you. Maybe he wants you to show him the time of day so you can connect with one another. We should all try not to listen to the shit-talking voices in our heads when the situation doesn't call for it. There's plenty of time to listen to it if the situation requires it!  I say give it a shot next time, and report back, Nancy! 

If you listen to your own head and not reality, and never change the recording in your head, how will your luck ever, ever, ever change. You gotta buy a ticket to win the lottery, baby!


----------



## Jes

I confess that i hung out tonight with the first african-american astronaut in space; we stood outside, turned our heads to the sky, and watched the international space station cross over the sky from left to right, just at the top of the tree line. And then I turned to look at him and asked: So, am I too old to be an astronaut? Be honest with me. And he looked me up and down and said: YES and I was like: Uh, you didn't have to be THAT honest with me...

I have such respect for those who are good at science...I just don't have the scientific curiosity that it takes, but I sure do like the way pretty stars twinkle.


----------



## bonified

I confess I delayed a plane by over an hour and eventually had someone removed. I booked two seats for my arse & they overlooked the obvious fact as well as my verbal confirmation at check in. 

Fun times


----------



## *Ravenous*

IC that im losing weight and im kind of proud of it now its cause I ride my bike....


----------



## Arrhythmia

bonified said:


> I confess I delayed a plane by over an hour and eventually had someone removed. I booked two seats for my arse & they overlooked the obvious fact as well as my verbal confirmation at check in.
> 
> Fun times



Way to go, Hun! :bow: Get what's yours!


----------



## 1love_emily

I confess that I want to sing Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" to Derek. Yep


----------



## Sweetie

I confess that I wonder daily if I know what the hell I'm doing.


----------



## Lamia

I confess that Dimensions is responsible for boosting my self-esteem. Somehow knowing that there are men in the world who would desire me makes me feel better about myself. I know that we should all love ourselves despite whether or not men value us, but there is a difference between loving yourself and feeling attractive. Before discovering this place online back in 1998 I had never felt desirable...at all. I felt about as sexy as a pile of laundry. 

Thanks Dimensions :wubu:


----------



## Sweetie

Lamia said:


> I confess that Dimensions is responsible for boosting my self-esteem. Somehow knowing that there are men in the world who would desire me makes me feel better about myself. I know that we should all love ourselves despite whether or not men value us, but there is a difference between loving yourself and feeling attractive. Before discovering this place online back in 1998 I had never felt desirable...at all. I felt about as sexy as a pile of laundry.
> 
> Thanks Dimensions :wubu:



Oh Lamia...I so agree with you. Lately I've been trying not to regret all the years I had NO CLUE that any man would find my body attractive. Then I find out that there are truly men that find big women beautiful and it still makes me feel amazed. So thanks to Dimensions ... and thanks to all the men on here who make me feel like..."Hey I'm not so bad after all." :batting:


----------



## penguin

Lamia said:


> I confess that Dimensions is responsible for boosting my self-esteem. Somehow knowing that there are men in the world who would desire me makes me feel better about myself. I know that we should all love ourselves despite whether or not men value us, but there is a difference between loving yourself and feeling attractive. Before discovering this place online back in 1998 I had never felt desirable...at all. I felt about as sexy as a pile of laundry.
> 
> Thanks Dimensions :wubu:



I feel the same. Dimensions have really helped me feel so much better about myself, and helped allow me to reclaim myself.


----------



## Lamia

I confess that when people burst my bubble of enthusiasm with their negativity it makes it harder and harder to drum up any passion about anything and I am getting f***ing sick of it.


----------



## KimmyP

I confess that after joining Dimensions 2 days ago, I've been walking with a little extra spring in my step. 

I didn't know that there were so many BBW that liked themselves and the way they looked!

It's good to know that it's okay to think I good good @ 5'10", 300lbs, size 22!


----------



## Surlysomething

KimmyP said:


> I confess that after joining Dimensions 2 days ago, I've been walking with a little extra spring in my step.
> 
> I didn't know that there were so many BBW that liked themselves and the way they looked!
> 
> It's good to know that it's okay to think I good good @ 5'10", 300lbs, size 22!


 

Hell yes! We hooked another one.


----------



## Tau

Feeling weirdly untethered from reality - kind of like I'm high but I haven't taken anything. Also haven't seen/spoken to another human being in 2 days. Think it might be time to put the research away for a bit.


----------



## Tau

Lamia said:


> I confess that when people burst my bubble of enthusiasm with their negativity it makes it harder and harder to drum up any passion about anything and I am getting f***ing sick of it.



Haters are always going to hate hon - don't let them get you down. Live your life in defiant happiness and you'll see soon there'll be more happiness and hardly any defiance


----------



## 1love_emily

I confess that since yesterday's Royal Wedding, I've been looking up wedding dresses, and I think I found my dream dress (I'm 18, single, and not getting married till after I graduate from college )

http://www.lightinthebox.com/Ball-Gown-Sweetheart-Knee-length-Wedding-Dress-With-3D-Floral---HSX1249-_p35293.html

And this!

http://www.lightinthebox.com/A-line-Strapless-Knee-length-Sleeveless-Satin-Lace-Wedding-Dress--WSW0016-_p160867.html

This one too

http://www.lightinthebox.com/A-line-Strapless-Tea-length-Chiffon-Over-Satin-Wedding-Dress-with-Ribbon_p174339.html

Hehe


----------



## aocutiepi

1love_emily said:


> I confess that since yesterday's Royal Wedding, I've been looking up wedding dresses, and I think I found my dream dress (I'm 18, single, and not getting married till after I graduate from college )



I'm 23, single, and probably not getting married until I finish pharmacy school, at least... which puts me at about 5 years away, minimum. I look at wedding dresses all the time (you are not alone!). I figure it will make shopping less stressful whenever I get there because I know what I like. 

PS... I like your first dress best. Gotta love the sweetheart neckline.


----------



## thatgirl08

I look at wedding dresses all the time too and I'm not sure if I want to get married ever so don't feel bad! I also compulsively look at prom dresses and I've been out of high school for two years!


----------



## herin

I do that too. I think it has less to do with being ready to marry than it does my desire for pretty things and romantical thoughts.


----------



## 1love_emily

herin said:


> I do that too. I think it has less to do with being ready to marry than it does my desire for pretty things and romantical thoughts.



Yes. I think you are right on the nose. I think I want a boyfriend/fiance/husband (lol jk about the last two ) more than anything


----------



## CaitiDee

I'm obsessed with wedding photography blogs. I've planned so many different weddings in my head for myself. And most days I doubt I'll ever get married at all! Haha. (For those that care, I want a small simple wedding in a garden or fancy backyard. Good food, good music, good company. That's what matters to me.)


----------



## Tania

I'm not beyond buying and wearing wedding dresses just because they're pretty.  For me, the best "show" aspect of a wedding is the dress, and I can have dozens of pretty dresses without the whole marriage thing. 

Maybe I'm over it because I've done the marriage/party/whatever thing and it was meh, but even if I'd had the greatest wedding in the history of the world, I'd still look back at my wedding dress and cringe (it's not that bad, but it's not really me anymore). Why commit to just one dress when there are so many new and wonderful ideas coming down the pipe?

Ohhhhhhhshit, I'm a fashion PLAYA.


----------



## calauria

I confess I've been away for a long time. I hope everyone is doing well.


----------



## mossystate

Oh how I miss seeing Lizzy's intelligence on here. Just read some of her posts on Marilyn Wann's FB. 

Right on the money, L...right on the money. :bow:


----------



## jdsumm

IC I AM HUNGRY!!! I am having surgery(hysterectomy) tomorrow afternoon so it's clear liquids only all day today and then nothing at all after midnight tonight...and my tummy is growling ALREADY!

I also C that I am kinda looking forward to having the 6 weeks off of work!


----------



## CastingPearls

jdsumm said:


> IC I AM HUNGRY!!! I am having surgery(hysterectomy) tomorrow afternoon so it's clear liquids only all day today and then nothing at all after midnight tonight...and my tummy is growling ALREADY!
> 
> I also C that I am kinda looking forward to having the 6 weeks off of work!


Good luck and speedy recovery on the surgery!


----------



## jdsumm

CastingPearls said:


> Good luck and speedy recovery on the surgery!



thank you !


----------



## Deacone

I confess that I am jealous and somewhat upset that I am not the 2nd person to ever squash my boyfriend. I am the 6th. I thought it was just his ex-girlfriend.
Seeing as he's the first person i've squashed and been whole-heartedly comfortable with my body with; upon hearing he got squashed and had loads of sex makes me wanna cry.

Emo sigh.

EDIT:

ALL IS FINE :> He gave me a hugs and lots of kisses after he read it :>


----------



## mossystate

I find it so weird how so many men who are fat and who are attracted to fat women, rarely mention their own fat selves when they go on about issues pertaining to being fat. It's usually all about the fat women to whom they are attracted. 
Is it a way to not have to deal with issues they might experience personally and to push things aside...is it a way to think themselves not like The Other. Things that make me go hmmmmm. 
And...no...not looking for men to come here to the bbw forum and respond. Would be super if that didn't happen.


----------



## AmazingAmy

So the electrolysis on my face is going amazingly well... another month or so and I imagine I'm going to have a completely hirsutism-free chin...

Except I think it's getting worse everywhere else. I've ignored grooming for a while since I've not been seeing anyone, and I had a good look at myself today to see certain parts of my body have got much worse. It feels traumatic. It makes me want to quit the electrolysis on my face because, looking at the rest of me, what's the point? One step forward God only knows how many back.

I'm 22. It's this bad now and getting worse. So yeah, today I hate this shit, worthless, ugly body.


----------



## Lamia

I confess that I have no idea what pot smells like. For years I've been somewhere and someone with me will remark "I smell pot" or "Something smells like pot" I sniff the air, but for some reason smell nothing. I have a good nose my mom calls me a bloodhound because of it, but it's like Superman can't see through lead....I can't smell pot. 

I've never been around drugs or had anything to do with them I guess I'm unhip, but I'm ok with that.


----------



## Punkin1024

IC I'm always extremely emotional around Mother's Day. I miss my Mom so much. I also confess that it is difficult being a childless woman at this time of year too.


----------



## jewels_mystery

jdsumm said:


> IC I AM HUNGRY!!! I am having surgery(hysterectomy) tomorrow afternoon so it's clear liquids only all day today and then nothing at all after midnight tonight...and my tummy is growling ALREADY!
> 
> I also C that I am kinda looking forward to having the 6 weeks off of work!



Good luck with your surgery. Hope your recovery time is quck.



Punkin1024 said:


> IC I'm always extremely emotional around Mother's Day. I miss my Mom so much. I also confess that it is difficult being a childless woman at this time of year too.



{{hugs}}


----------



## Smushygirl

Punkin1024 said:


> IC I'm always extremely emotional around Mother's Day. I miss my Mom so much. I also confess that it is difficult being a childless woman at this time of year too.



I feel you, darlin'!


----------



## Lovelyone

Punkin1024 said:


> IC I'm always extremely emotional around Mother's Day. I miss my Mom so much. I also confess that it is difficult being a childless woman at this time of year too.



I came here to make the exact same confession. I feel your pain. ((Hugs))


----------



## verucassault

AmazingAmy said:


> I'm 22. It's this bad now and getting worse. So yeah, today I hate this shit, worthless, ugly body.



well tomorrow when you are peace again with your body just tell it that you are sorrow and it was slip up. i dont think anyone likes themselves 100% of the time. just dont make a habit of it 

i have no idea what is going on with my face, i get these pumps that are under the skin and leave a scar even if i dont touch them. its hormonal cause its mostly on my chin and happens around my time of the month. sometimes i want to punch something but it passes


----------



## Tania

verucassault said:


> i have no idea what is going on with my face, i get these pumps that are under the skin and leave a scar even if i dont touch them. its hormonal cause its mostly on my chin and happens around my time of the month. sometimes i want to punch something but it passes



Omguh, this is me. Not every month, but man...when it happens, JEEZ. mid-feb-early april was particularly bad. 

In 1998, I had a cyst below my lip-corner that was the size of a marble. No joke. It took three months for it to disappear, but it NEVER came to a head. At the same time, I had the most painful plantar wart on my heel. Not only was my chin all crazy-looking, but I could barely walk or dance. Walking was my primary mode of transportation at the time, and I would do some combo of ECD, contras, and some sort of Victorian ballroom event at least twice a week! 

Ugh, no wonder I was cranky all the time. 

Dang, that was some serious digression.


----------



## Hank55

thatgirl08 said:


> I look at wedding dresses all the time too and I'm not sure if I want to get married ever so don't feel bad! I also compulsively look at prom dresses and I've been out of high school for two years!



Sure you were beautiful in prom dress!


----------



## verucassault

verucassault said:


> well tomorrow when you *at* are peace again with your body just tell it that you are *sorry* and it was slip up. i dont think anyone likes themselves 100% of the time. just dont make a habit of it



this is why i shouldnt type and blog and chat at the same time, i totally sounded like english was not my first language and it SO is


----------



## verucassault

Tania said:


> Omguh, this is me. Not every month, but man...when it happens, JEEZ. mid-feb-early april was particularly bad.
> 
> In 1998, I had a cyst below my lip-corner that was the size of a marble. No joke. It took three months for it to disappear, but it NEVER came to a head. .



yeah they never come to a head, its hormones it has to be, i have the mirena coil and i just think the coil and age is causing stuff to go amuck. i mean who starts to have skin problems at 32. ME that's who. gah. where is my aloe vera gel? gonna lube my face up before bed


----------



## Tania

I've read that cystic chin acne is definitely hormonal. I've had it off and on since my early 20s and I'll probably have it until I finish menopause. Blurgh. That said, birth control pills DID seem to help matters. If I can find a safer substitute for Yasmin and its generic forms, I might go for it again.


----------



## Donna

What about antibiotics to treat cystic acne? My sventeen year old step-daughter suffers from it, along with PCOS, and her doctors are trying a combination of hormonal and antibiotic treatment that seems to be working. We're treating the scars with vitamin E, which also seems to be helping.


----------



## Tania

That's a good suggestion, Donna. I'm not sure my outbreaks are frequent or serious enough on average for my derm to prescribe antibiotics right now, but there's got to be something he can do. Now that my insurance covers generic prescriptions, it's worth a discussion.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Punkin1024 said:


> IC I'm always extremely emotional around Mother's Day. I miss my Mom so much. I also confess that it is difficult being a childless woman at this time of year too.



I miss my mom, too.


----------



## Deacone

I confess that I'm about to share my stuff that i've been filming with my boyfriend on the paysite board and i'm absolutely nervous about what people on this board will think lol.

I'M NOT USED TO SHOWING MY WOBBLY BITS TO EVERYONE >_<


----------



## AmazingAmy

Deacone said:


> I confess that I'm about to share my stuff that i've been filming with my boyfriend on the paysite board and i'm absolutely nervous about what people on this board will think lol.
> 
> I'M NOT USED TO SHOWING MY WOBBLY BITS TO EVERYONE >_<



I think Dims is the place where you can rest assured your friends are going to _love _it. :bow:


----------



## Deacone

AmazingAmy said:


> I think Dims is the place where you can rest assured your friends are going to _love _it. :bow:



Yeah I'm feeling that, which is why I'm gonna show you guys soon. I'm just pissing about on photoshop to make a semi-decent advert picture


----------



## Deacone

I also confess that my heart may have just stopped for a second or two when I just clicked the "post thread" button. 

*dies*


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I miss my mom too...and I am so over being single. Ready for my next life!


----------



## Tau

AmazingAmy said:


> So the electrolysis on my face is going amazingly well... another month or so and I imagine I'm going to have a completely hirsutism-free chin...
> 
> Except I think it's getting worse everywhere else. I've ignored grooming for a while since I've not been seeing anyone, and I had a good look at myself today to see certain parts of my body have got much worse. It feels traumatic. It makes me want to quit the electrolysis on my face because, looking at the rest of me, what's the point? One step forward God only knows how many back.
> 
> I'm 22. It's this bad now and getting worse. So yeah, today I hate this shit, worthless, ugly body.



Amy in the little time I've known you I've come to the conclusion that you really are amazing and so beautiful. We all have days where our bodies seem like one giant obstacle but it will pass and it will get better and you're going to meet somebody who adores every part of you all the time. Sending love honey.


----------



## Tau

Punkin1024 said:


> IC I'm always extremely emotional around Mother's Day. I miss my Mom so much. I also confess that it is difficult being a childless woman at this time of year too.



Beaming love your way!! *HUGZ*


----------



## AmazingAmy

verucassault said:


> well tomorrow when you are peace again with your body just tell it that you are sorrow and it was slip up. i dont think anyone likes themselves 100% of the time. just dont make a habit of it
> 
> i have no idea what is going on with my face, i get these pumps that are under the skin and leave a scar even if i dont touch them. its hormonal cause its mostly on my chin and happens around my time of the month. sometimes i want to punch something but it passes





Tau said:


> Amy in the little time I've known you I've come to the conclusion that you really are amazing and so beautiful. We all have days where our bodies seem like one giant obstacle but it will pass and it will get better and you're going to meet somebody who adores every part of you all the time. Sending love honey.



Thanks, ladies, very much appreciated. :bow: It was just one of those nights that just creeps over you. Everythings better when you wake up!


----------



## Punkin1024

Thanks to all of you that understand! Hugs to all of you that miss your Moms.


----------



## mel

so OT but I really think I need to get a laptop tray or whatever they are called. It's just too heavy on my legs for as much time as I spend on it.


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC I want to drink copious amounts of alcohol this weekend. While I know this isn't related to being a bbw, I know you ladies can sympathize...


----------



## Kamily

luscious_lulu said:


> IC I want to drink copious amounts of alcohol this weekend. While I know this isn't related to being a bbw, I know you ladies can sympathize...



Thats my plan for this weekend too.


----------



## Tau

luscious_lulu said:


> IC I want to drink copious amounts of alcohol this weekend. While I know this isn't related to being a bbw, I know you ladies can sympathize...



Amen to that!! I can't wait - what an unspeakably shitty week


----------



## Amatrix

I confess that now when someone asks me out for a date one of my first questions is-
How much do you love yourself?

I ask that because I have been accused of being a narcissist, when in reality I just really like who I am. I do not think I am better then anyone, or look down on those who have lower self esteem...but.i.just.cant.do.it.anymore.

I am tired of being in relationships where I prop the other person up... inflate the ego so they can feel okay for a day.
I don't care if they ask me how much I weight, or how much I eat- generally these kinds of people don't get much more then flirting... but if I am interested in you- that will be one of the 20 questions that you will have to be able to answer.


----------



## Pitch

Right here with you, Matrix. I go back and forth between suspecting I am vain and arrogant to self loathing and serious body image issues. Honestly, I dont think I am vain at all. I just like the way I look like you and people ask me if I have the right to think I am "bangin'" as they say. Lol. I never brag or call anyone else unattractive or go "LOOK HOW HOT I AM" but I think it bothers people that I dont go "baaawh fat. 3:" every other chance even if it happens sometimes and I just keep it to myself. I unload my rants against sizeism on friends, thoguh. But, fuck those people who talk crap, right?

But, I ask myself the same question before nearly dating or dates and all that. Or a version of it. "I'm I okay with me enough to be okay with them?" in a way. You can't connect with people if you havent connected with yourself, I say.

Aaaaand IC that...I want nothing more right now than a little foot worship, a back rub, someone to wash my hair for me and a glass of Bordeaux. But I want them to leave me alone after all that. XD So I can listen to music and be serene.

For now I've got to settle with a shot of Lion's Milk and my laptop.


----------



## ArmWrestlingChamp

I confess that my views on romance are a lot more traditional than I'd like them to be.


----------



## Cyn

IC that I confessed on a confession thread somewhere on Dims and can't remember where because I've been tired for 16 years, since becoming a mom, and need SLEEP! :doh:


----------



## 1love_emily

I confess that I really want to post the photos of me and him kissing, but I also don't because I want to keep them private for myself :/ hmm, what to do?


----------



## spiritangel

IC That I think I need a bonk buddy and some hot sweaty fun


----------



## darlingzooloo

IC that I really suck at making Irish oatmeal. boo. :doh:


----------



## Jes

1love_emily said:


> I confess that I really want to post the photos of me and him kissing, but I also don't because I want to keep them private for myself :/ hmm, what to do?



Check out my profile shot; it might give you some ideas.


----------



## Tau

I'm on day 4 of no sleep and I'm unraveling. I hate my clients, got the worst mark ever for an assignment today, I'm lonely and tired and my fucking car, which I paid R5000 fucking rand to get fixed just 3 weeks ago is giving problems again. And instead of being able to stay home and cry myself into some kind of dozing stupor I have to go to a fucking client event and pretend to give a shit till midnight.


----------



## Jes

Tau said:


> I'm on day 4 of no sleep and I'm unraveling. I hate my clients, got the worst mark ever for an assignment today, I'm lonely and tired and my fucking car, which I paid R5000 fucking rand to get fixed just 3 weeks ago is giving problems again. And instead of being able to stay home and cry myself into some kind of dozing stupor I have to go to a fucking client event and pretend to give a shit till midnight.



I know this was a cry for help-type post, but I'm sorry, I was smiling halfway through and laughing by the end. Take comfort in the fact that you've got a great turn of phrase and that many of us have had to 'pretend to give a shit till midnight.' Funny!


----------



## Mishty

I confess I'm house/dog sitting, and was left with these words on the dry erase board: Help yourself ta anything, wine,Scotch, corn nuts,astroooglide, but DO NOT look in the garage, stay out the garage damn you! 

I looked, and someone has been collecting some vurry vurry fancy lager and ale, and I'm about to get shit faced.....

..cause, I like breaking the rules and shit.


----------



## randomjenerator

Mishty said:


> I confess I'm house/dog sitting, and was left with these words on the dry erase board: Help yourself ta anything, wine,Scotch, corn nuts,astroooglide, but DO NOT look in the garage, stay out the garage damn you!
> 
> I looked, and someone has been collecting some vurry vurry fancy lager and ale, and I'm about to get shit faced.....
> 
> ..cause, I like breaking the rules and shit.



I like the cut of your jib, lady! I mean, come on...they KNEW you'd look, right? RIGHT?

IC Finding this site in the past 24 hours has coincided (quite coincidentally) with my first date in a looooooong time and has quite honestly changed my thinking about my body so greatly that I can't wait! I don't care how it turns out, I'm just thrilled to finally have the confidence to put myself out there and have some damn fun.


----------



## Punkin1024

Just popping in to say Hi to everyone. I've been around and reading posts, just haven't had a whole lot to say lately. It is late and gotta get to bed. Thank goodness it's Friday!


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I spent two hours being serviced by a cute young boy tonight.....

Got a mani and a pedi....he was soooo through...it was amazing...worth the splurge...sadly..that was the first time I had been touched by another human being in a long time..le sigh


----------



## Tau

Jes said:


> I know this was a cry for help-type post, but I'm sorry, I was smiling halfway through and laughing by the end. Take comfort in the fact that you've got a great turn of phrase and that many of us have had to 'pretend to give a shit till midnight.' Funny!



LOL! Glad the turn of phrase was amusing


----------



## luscious_lulu

Someone I don't know sent me a pm with the subject filled in as "hey sugar cakes"

I was a little sarcastic in my reply back. Ok, I was really sarcastic.


----------



## LovelyLiz

luscious_lulu said:


> Someone I don't know sent me a pm with the subject filled in as "hey sugar cakes"
> 
> I was a little sarcastic in my reply back. Ok, I was really sarcastic.



I got that too...but it was entitled "Hey Sweet Cakes." He's very original.


----------



## littlefairywren

mcbeth said:


> I got that too...but it was entitled "Hey Sweet Cakes." He's very original.



LOL...mine said Hey Sweet Cakes too.


----------



## CastingPearls

Please tell me someone answered, 'Hey, urinal cakes....'


----------



## luscious_lulu

My response was 

Hey Sugar Stick

I say we skip the niceties and agree to meet up and fuck. Whatcha think?


----------



## LovelyLiz

luscious_lulu said:


> My response was
> 
> Hey Sugar Stick
> 
> I say we skip the niceties and agree to meet up and fuck. Whatcha think?



I think we should all reply with that EXACT SAME message. Or maybe another. Eh?


----------



## luscious_lulu

That would be so funny!


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I am sad....I was supposed to pick up two dressers and a bed today. However, the rain has thwarted that for at least the next few days.... I really wanted them to be able to finally get settled in and more organized....seems like the universe is hating on me again...

And secondly...what I wouldn't do for a sexy, intelligent, sweet boy to take me out to a nice dinner, maybe some adult beverages and then make out with him on my for a few hours...or hell...a girl. Someone..lol I feel as if this is never going to happen for me ever again most days...


----------



## mossystate

luscious_lulu said:


> That would be so funny!



And sign it - Sugar In The Raw


----------



## luscious_lulu

I'm sad, sugar stick hasn't responded to my message.


----------



## 1love_emily

Lalala Love Is Fun


----------



## ashmamma84

IC that I really dig having a work bff who also happens to be a bbw. We have a lot in common, other than being fat and just have an all around good time together. We're shopping buddies, mani/pedi buddies, eating/dining out buddies and soon, travel buddies. I think we might be long lost cousins or something - she can have a look and I just know what she's thinking and then we'll burst into laughter and vice versa. We get along that well. 

It's something I'm really growing to treasure. Especially since there's a wide (and wrongly) held belief that women are catty and are always competing against each other. Our friendship is testament to the fact that two (chunky) chicks can be smart, have a competitive career, and still remain each other's support/cheerleader.

Hooray for sisterhood! Double hooray for fat chick sisterhood!


----------



## mossystate

I have officially bought my first scale. Laughed when I weighed myself with the scale on the carpet and it read 136.7.


----------



## Deacone

Really sad to confess I have not done a lot of squishing this week with my boyfriend.

*sadface x 4*


----------



## Tania

IC that I have what I euphemistically call a "feline temperament." Especially around bloat-n-drain time.


----------



## penguin

IC that I want to get healthier. Weight loss will be a side effect of that, but I no longer want to aim to be slim. I want to be the weight I was about 7 years ago. I liked my body back then, I was more flexible, sitting on the floor and getting up was easier, I slept better, clothes were easier to get and fit better. I wasn't designed to be slim. My frame is big - wide hips, wide shoulders, big feet, big hair. I want to feel in proportion again, and feel healthier. I'll still be a BBW and bigger than what my family would prefer, but I'm going to do it for me.


----------



## Tania

penguin said:


> IC that I want to get healthier. Weight loss will be a side effect of that, but I no longer want to aim to be slim. I want to be the weight I was about 7 years ago. I liked my body back then, I was more flexible, sitting on the floor and getting up was easier, I slept better, clothes were easier to get and fit better. I wasn't designed to be slim. My frame is big - wide hips, wide shoulders, big feet, big hair. I want to feel in proportion again, and feel healthier. I'll still be a BBW and bigger than what my family would prefer, but I'm going to do it for me.



Good for you! Everything seemed to snap into place physically and psychologically for me once I found my weight/size happy zone.  Even the BDD majorly subsided. It's not entirely gone, but I don't get anxiety attacks anymore.


----------



## aocutiepi

IC that HE called and left a really sweet and thoughtful message and we're having lunch next week. I also confess that I need to get over this kindergarten style crush I have on him. Ridiculous.


----------



## Tania

So I just had a three-hour conversation with a guy I met on an online dating site. I wasn't expecting much because he was really insistent about talking on the phone before I was ready, but since he was intelligent and funny and seemed like he was really trying, I gave him a chance. 

I should've listened to my gut. Toward the end of the conversation, we somehow got to the subject of size. Long story short, he told me he thought that fat people should be humiliated into losing weight, because "feeling like a loser" inspired him to quit smoking. Great. After trying to get him to define the "fat line" for me in a scientifically-meaningful way that took into consideration the fact that all bodies are different and BMI charts were designed by actuaries for the specific purpose of charging as many as people as possible the highest amount possible for their coverage, all I could get was "you're rationalizing" and "it's not healthy to enable fat people to continue to overeat." I politely ended the conversation and cried ten minutes straight.

I don't give a shit about this guy, but I'm fucking traumatized to hear this kind of twisted, backassward "care" kind shit from anybody, especially somebody who claimed to find my body "sexy" and beautiful. It's like he didn't get that I was fat. 

Great, I pass. I never thought that being mistaken for "average" would be this fucking devastating.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

What a big jerk.

BMI is a formula that was reverse engineered (the creator took the results and made up the formula to fit the results) and is little more than junk science. That's why nearly every athlete is overweight or obese according to BMI, and why even when my waist was under 35 inches I was considered morbidly obese. The medical community is coming to believe waist circumference is a way better measure of obesity anyway.


----------



## spiritangel

Hugs I hear that totally

what a sucky thing to have happen


it was bad enough the night I broke my leg my mother telling me I was to fat for her car and there was no point her coming to get me from hospital or coming to help me at home
I had a FA friend visiting from the states (mind you I was crying on and off comming down off all the heavy meds the ambos gave me at the time and had just broken my leg a few hours before this) turn around and say well you could stand to loose a few pounds I was like hang on arnt you supposed to be attracted to me because of my size? I was like I so dont need this right now. I did not even want to call my mother I knew what she would say


Lots of hugs I think guys like that are gonna have a hard time convincing a woman that they are worth a shot when they say dumb stupid and uneducated things like that :doh:


----------



## Tania

Thanks for feeling me, you guys.

Spirit, what a horrible situation - the people who should be helping you to relax and heal during a traumatic episode in your life ought not to be making comments about your weight. I can't believe your mother dismissed you, but it's extra mindblowing that she begged off because of your size. :'(

I think what bugged me most about this dude is that he, like most people, doesn't have a clear idea what "fat" is, let alone how it realistically affects every individual's life. Even though he has no clue what it is, he's still so fucking afraid of it that he feels it's better to create a planetful of unhappy basketcases than run the risk of "too fat." He even said he thought it was better to be "a little hungry and tired" than to be comfortable and fat.


----------



## spiritangel

It totally shows how much miss information there is out there, 

I honestly did not expect my mother to come she lives almost 10hrs drive from where I was and she would have had to share my bed as I have no where for her to sleep (mind you we have old neighbourhood friends who live about 20-30mins drive away) it has also helped me put my relationship with her into perspective obviously if I lost oodles of weight she would have more time for me shrugs she has helped with some of the expensis that is something and in her own way loves me I really had no expectation of her coming as I had been in hospital once before and she told me that obviously I did not expect her to drive down to see me lol



as for this guy sorry but you are amazing and deserve the very very best not some guy who wants to shame you into losing weight and who then wont find you attractive anymore what an idiot seriously it sux when you get to know someone see the great stuff then get smacked with the catch


----------



## Surlysomething

Tania said:


> So I just had a three-hour conversation with a guy I met on an online dating site. I wasn't expecting much because he was really insistent about talking on the phone before I was ready, but since he was intelligent and funny and seemed like he was really trying, I gave him a chance.
> 
> I should've listened to my gut. Toward the end of the conversation, we somehow got to the subject of size. Long story short, he told me he thought that fat people should be humiliated into losing weight, because "feeling like a loser" inspired him to quit smoking. Great. After trying to get him to define the "fat line" for me in a scientifically-meaningful way that took into consideration the fact that all bodies are different and BMI charts were designed by actuaries for the specific purpose of charging as many as people as possible the highest amount possible for their coverage, all I could get was "you're rationalizing" and "it's not healthy to enable fat people to continue to overeat." I politely ended the conversation and cried ten minutes straight.
> 
> I don't give a shit about this guy, but I'm fucking traumatized to hear this kind of twisted, backassward "care" kind shit from anybody, especially somebody who claimed to find my body "sexy" and beautiful. It's like he didn't get that I was fat.
> 
> Great, I pass. I never thought that being mistaken for "average" would be this fucking devastating.


 
You're a nicer person than I am. I would have hung up on him mid-sentence.

You're a gorgeous woman, T. Don't let closed minded thinkers _ever_ make you feel bad. 

You rock it and you know it.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

Surlysomething said:


> You're a nicer person than I am. I would have hung up on him mid-sentence.
> 
> You're a gorgeous woman, T. Don't let closed minded thinkers _ever_ make you feel bad.
> 
> You rock it and you know it.



Like she said, you are gorgeous, you rock it, and you have the most amazing taste in clothing and nail colors.

He's just a big jerk who probably thinks Scarlett Johansson is fat.


----------



## CastingPearls

Tania said:


> Thanks for feeling me, you guys.
> 
> Spirit, what a horrible situation - the people who should be helping you to relax and heal during a traumatic episode in your life ought not to be making comments about your weight. I can't believe your mother dismissed you, but it's extra mindblowing that she begged off because of your size. :'(
> 
> I think what bugged me most about this dude is that he, like most people, doesn't have a clear idea what "fat" is, let alone how it realistically affects every individual's life. Even though he has no clue what it is, he's still so fucking afraid of it that he feels it's better to create a planetful of unhappy basketcases than run the risk of "too fat." He even said he thought it was better to be "a little hungry and tired" than to be comfortable and fat.


The guy is a total loser because you're one of the most awesome not to mention unique and stylish people I've ever had the fortune of knowing and in a way he did you a favor by letting you know within the first three hours what a colossal ass (and huge bigot) he is rather than spring it on you after you'd made even more of an effort like a date.


----------



## Tania

Thank you for being so sweet, you guys. I choose all of you beautiful people over the dumb haters any day of the week, no question at all.


----------



## 1love_emily

I'm desperately wishing I could be in his arms right now. Nothing here is worth it. He is the only person I want to be with. All I've been able to do since I got home is look at every photo he's ever sent me and then think back to the moment I finally got to look at him.


----------



## PeanutButterfly

1love_emily said:


> I'm desperately wishing I could be in his arms right now. Nothing here is worth it. He is the only person I want to be with. All I've been able to do since I got home is look at every photo he's ever sent me and then think back to the moment I finally got to look at him.



I confess this was my life exactly one year ago. Going for it was the best decision I've ever made. Everyone always says nothing good comes from long distance. The love of my life came from long distance. It can be worth it. I'm so happy things are working out for you too


----------



## darlingzooloo

IC that I am torn. I have not seen this man for two years, at least, and yet when I think about him my lips part into a grin that makes my cheeks hurt...and then I recall and realize the fruitlessness of it. Time stopped when I first saw him, I did not know who he was, and lo and behold an hour later he was in my life drawing class. (Thankfully not as the model because i would have passed out.) He was easy to talk to, sweet and funny...and it doesn't matter because I was too much of a coward back then to do or say anything...and if he did notice how I felt it was probably through my own weird awkwardness. But I always, and still do, consider him out of my league...for several not just physical reasons...I do my best to forget him and then he has the flight of fancy to remind me of his presence by rejoining fb and liking comments I say. It makes a part of me whisper inside of my heart;
"Maybe he remembers..." and the other part of my heart is silent, and keeps whatever hopes there in their individual jars, safe and on the shelf.


----------



## butch

This is a sad, "woe is me" post which I should know better than to post, but oh well, regret is something I do well.

IC that sometimes I miss being the person I used to be here at Dims. There was a time where I was all over this message board, and felt like I was at Cheers, you know, the place where everybody knows your name. Granted, I was never in chat, and I've never been very prolific in PMs, but thanks in part to the vibrancy of the Clubhouse, I felt like I connected with a lot of people here, and that was something that I needed at that point in my life.

Now, my life is totally different, and while all the changes are for the better, because I am a mod with limited reach, I still come here almost every day, and I don't post or interact her very much at all. When I do, it tend to be of the sanctimonious style of posting, which never wins one many friends. Thus, I am no longer Norm at Cheers, but one of the space fillers in the back booths at Cheers that never had a speaking line.

My life is going through a lot of changes now, and while I am sure they will work out in my favor, times of great change are times that affect me badly, and make me less social and outgoing. I worry about reverting back to the person I was before I joined Dims, a person who was in a stage of being very introverted and standoffish. I wonder if I can rejoin Dims as the person I was, or can you never go home again? So many of those relationships I cultivated here are with people who aren't here at all any more, or are hear so infrequently that it feels as if they aren't here any more. 

I guess I'm just thinking out loud, and feeling maudlin for the 'good ole days of Dims' without owning the fact that it is all on me that Dims is not the place it used to be to me because I chose not to particpate as much.

Anyway, here is my confession.


----------



## penguin

1love_emily said:


> I'm desperately wishing I could be in his arms right now. Nothing here is worth it. He is the only person I want to be with. All I've been able to do since I got home is look at every photo he's ever sent me and then think back to the moment I finally got to look at him.



I'll start by saying that I hope this comes across the right way. I've been following the ups and downs you've been feeling with him over the last few months, and I'm very happy for you. I'm just a bit worried that you're forgetting to live the rest of your life too. I'm no stranger to LDRs, so I know what it's like to miss them terribly and just want to be with them. As much as you miss him, you can't let that control you. It's all too easy to put him and the relationship up on a very shaky pedestal. 

Just like with any other relationship, you need to keep a balance of it and everything else in your life, and while I obviously don't know what else is going on in your life, I'm just going by your posts where it seems that balance isn't in play. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that there are plenty of others here that have been in a similar situation as you and that we understand what you're feeling and going through.


----------



## SuziQ

I don't feel comfortable with my body. I was told I was fat all my life and I compartmentalized it in my mind. I acted like it didn't matter and didn't make a difference, but it did of course. When I first went to NAAFA events I was told I was a minnow -- I think I weighed around 220 then -- and wasn't supersized. It was an interesting yet strange experience because I felt like a whale in the rest of the world. 

When I went to NAAFA events I still didn't feel worthy of being accepted or attracting FAs. It was all the pain of thinking I was unworthy that kept me from accepting myself either at NAAFA or in the rest of the world. 

That was in the late 1980s and there were a lot of BBWs then that felt very worthy. I've loved reading the posts from the younger BBWs here that I can tell feel good about themselves and I love that they can do that. 

If you met me you would probably think I was very friendly and open -- and I am. I might appear confident -- I've learned to accept myself for who I am in many ways no matter what others think. There's just part of me that I've always held back and protected. 

I was just putting off sleep and putzing around on my computer and somehow ended up here tonight. I haven't been around any FAs or BBWs for 10 years or more. By even admitting this to you I can tell that something has changed and I didn't realize it. I appreciate the community you create very much.

Not a sexy confession, but a confession none the less.


----------



## CleverBomb

penguin said:


> I'll start by saying that I hope this comes across the right way. I've been following the ups and downs you've been feeling with him over the last few months, and I'm very happy for you. I'm just a bit worried that you're forgetting to live the rest of your life too. I'm no stranger to LDRs, so I know what it's like to miss them terribly and just want to be with them. As much as you miss him, you can't let that control you. It's all too easy to put him and the relationship up on a very shaky pedestal.
> 
> Just like with any other relationship, you need to keep a balance of it and everything else in your life, and while I obviously don't know what else is going on in your life, I'm just going by your posts where it seems that balance isn't in play. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that there are plenty of others here that have been in a similar situation as you and that we understand what you're feeling and going through.


She's right, and I'm not sure I could phrase it any better myself -- it really is an awkward issue to raise. (And it's almost midnight here as I write this, so my wit is not at its peak.)

But yes, don't forget to live the rest of your day-to-day life while you're head over heels. 

-Rusty


----------



## 1love_emily

I would really like some pizza.


----------



## SuziQ

1love_emily said:


> I would really like some pizza.



That sounds delicious. Me too!!


----------



## Punkin1024

butch said:


> This is a sad, "woe is me" post which I should know better than to post, but oh well, regret is something I do well.
> 
> IC that sometimes I miss being the person I used to be here at Dims. There was a time where I was all over this message board, and felt like I was at Cheers, you know, the place where everybody knows your name. Granted, I was never in chat, and I've never been very prolific in PMs, but thanks in part to the vibrancy of the Clubhouse, I felt like I connected with a lot of people here, and that was something that I needed at that point in my life.
> 
> Now, my life is totally different, and while all the changes are for the better, because I am a mod with limited reach, I still come here almost every day, and I don't post or interact her very much at all. When I do, it tend to be of the sanctimonious style of posting, which never wins one many friends. Thus, I am no longer Norm at Cheers, but one of the space fillers in the back booths at Cheers that never had a speaking line.
> 
> My life is going through a lot of changes now, and while I am sure they will work out in my favor, times of great change are times that affect me badly, and make me less social and outgoing. I worry about reverting back to the person I was before I joined Dims, a person who was in a stage of being very introverted and standoffish. I wonder if I can rejoin Dims as the person I was, or can you never go home again? So many of those relationships I cultivated here are with people who aren't here at all any more, or are hear so infrequently that it feels as if they aren't here any more.
> 
> I guess I'm just thinking out loud, and feeling maudlin for the 'good ole days of Dims' without owning the fact that it is all on me that Dims is not the place it used to be to me because I chose not to particpate as much.
> 
> Anyway, here is my confession.



I know what you mean. I've not been here as much as I used to. I blame it partly on FB! Ha! But, seriously, it is true, you can't go back, but perhaps you can move forward. I've stuck it out at Dimensions, when a few of my friends have "moved on" because this place feels like home to me. I've made several new friends in here and, though some things change, some things stay the same. I'm glad your still here, Butch, and I always look forward to reading your posts. "hugs"


----------



## LovelyLiz

Punkin1024 said:


> I know what you mean. I've not been here as much as I used to. I blame it partly on FB! Ha! But, seriously, it is true, you can't go back, but perhaps you can move forward. I've stuck it out at Dimensions, when a few of my friends have "moved on" because this place feels like home to me. I've made several new friends in here and, though some things change, some things stay the same.* I'm glad your still here, Butch, and I always look forward to reading your posts.* "hugs"



I agree with that sentence a lot too, butch. Your posts are continually thoughtful and compelling, and more than once I have reconsidered my own convictions or positions on something because of a post you've written. Plus, you just seem like a really decent, compassionate person. I am glad you're here.


----------



## penguin

IC my hormones are trying to do my head in. I'm a few days off getting my period, and this feels like the first "real" cycle since I stopped taking the pill a few months ago. My last period was a lot shorter than usual, so I'm guessing this cycle will be back to normal. I really could do without the influx of hormones making me feel inadequate and insecure. I _know_ these feelings are exacerbated by the hormones and that things aren't as bad as they're feeling, so I'm trying to remind myself of that, but fuck it's hard sometimes.


----------



## MisticalMisty

penguin said:


> IC my hormones are trying to do my head in. I'm a few days off getting my period, and this feels like the first "real" cycle since I stopped taking the pill a few months ago. My last period was a lot shorter than usual, so I'm guessing this cycle will be back to normal. I really could do without the influx of hormones making me feel inadequate and insecure. I _know_ these feelings are exacerbated by the hormones and that things aren't as bad as they're feeling, so I'm trying to remind myself of that, but fuck it's hard sometimes.



I've been going through that myself this week and it's my week after.

I just haven't felt pretty or desirable at all lately. I just feel fat and hairy. I know it's hormonal and I'll be back in the saddle of security and confidence again, but for right now..I feel like a big suck.

I hope you feel better soon!


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I confess that I know better than to even have hope...because, in the end...it isn't real or even possible ....:doh: And then I'm just depressed....life is so much easier when you just are numb and ignore feelings (oh those over there...they don't exist).....le sigh Hope sucks! It doesn't Float..it sucks! lol


----------



## Tania

Holy CRAP my boobs hurt.

Oh, and I enjoy Girls Next Door way more than I ought to. I've going through the five seasonal DVD sets while grading.


----------



## butch

IC that I never thanked Punkin and McBeth in thread for their kind responses to my confession: thank you both, it means a lot.


----------



## spiritangel

Tania said:


> Holy CRAP my boobs hurt.
> 
> Oh, and I enjoy Girls Next Door way more than I ought to. I've going through the five seasonal DVD sets while grading.



I know right the original girls was just I dont even know how to describe it but I did love the show wich I expexted that I would hate it lol


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Almost a year ago I made a decision that changed my life, and while it wasn't an easy decision it was the best one to make at the time. My life isn't easier now by any means but it is happier. I'm smiling and laughing again, and I find myself open to meeting new people and making new friends. Its an amazing feeling, this feeling of rebirth!


----------



## Tania

spiritangel said:


> I know right the original girls was just I dont even know how to describe it but I did love the show wich I expexted that I would hate it lol



Me too! I was super-skeptical at first, especially re: Holly. Turns out she and I have very similar personalities (ha!). I first watched the show because Bridget was a client of one of MY clients; came to find later that we essentially share a hometown AND she was a student at the community college where I teach. We tend to do business with some of the same people, and have quite a few common interests. That (and the fact that life at the Playboy Mansion reminded me of my sorority days, warts and all) is pretty much the reason why I gave the show a second chance. 

Who's your favorite of the ex-GFs?


----------



## Diana_Prince245

Holly, such a gold digger, but so open about it.


----------



## Punkin1024

fatgirlflyin said:


> Almost a year ago I made a decision that changed my life, and while it wasn't an easy decision it was the best one to make at the time. My life isn't easier now by any means but it is happier. I'm smiling and laughing again, and I find myself open to meeting new people and making new friends. Its an amazing feeling, this feeling of rebirth!



This made me smile! I am so happy for you.


----------



## aocutiepi

IC that trying to finish this silly online four week Medical Terminology class in one weekend was a brilliant idea (since I have an incredibly challenging Microbiology class starting up Tuesday) but it's driving me NUTS. I need chocolate and I need it now.


----------



## penguin

IC I feel like punching myself in the uterus to get my period to start.


----------



## mossystate

If you love fat women, then please CHOOSE a fat woman, and not complain and get depressed because your smaller wife or girlfriend...who was small when you chose her...doesn't want to gain, or wants to lose if she has gained. :doh:


----------



## Diana_Prince245

IC I feel gross today. I've worked 24 hours in the last two days and I have a cold. Just totally icky.

Also, my friends are all busy without me with weekend, and I've got nobody to go see Bridesmaids with me.


----------



## hrd

It was lovely to see my family this weekend, but I'm glad it's quiet again.


----------



## spiritangel

Tania said:


> Me too! I was super-skeptical at first, especially re: Holly. Turns out she and I have very similar personalities (ha!). I first watched the show because Bridget was a client of one of MY clients; came to find later that we essentially share a hometown AND she was a student at the community college where I teach. We tend to do business with some of the same people, and have quite a few common interests. That (and the fact that life at the Playboy Mansion reminded me of my sorority days, warts and all) is pretty much the reason why I gave the show a second chance.
> 
> Who's your favorite of the ex-GFs?



I really loved them all crazy I know, and I never got gold digger vibe from Holly the new one crystal however totally different story was not fussed on the new girls they seemed to lack something but I guess that is what happends when you have such huge shoes to fill

it was definately interesting to see I kinda wondered if they got a costume budget and such considering the events they had to go to

hmm we should start a thread for this and not hog confessions


----------



## Tania

spiritangel said:


> I really loved them all crazy I know, and I never got gold digger vibe from Holly the new one crystal however totally different story was not fussed on the new girls they seemed to lack something but I guess that is what happends when you have such huge shoes to fill
> 
> it was definately interesting to see I kinda wondered if they got a costume budget and such considering the events they had to go to
> 
> hmm we should start a thread for this and not hog confessions



Haha do you want do do the honors re: the new thread? I guess such a thread would belong in the lounge. And I agree with your instincts.


----------



## Alzison

IC I exercised the right to bare arms today... and it was quite fine


----------



## Jes

I worked hard on an outdoor garden all Sat afternoon and came out to find someone had screwed with the edging fence this morning (some time between 9 pm and 9 am). It's fixable but I'm in the mood to cut a bitch.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

IC my glasses just broke and well...I'm broke with no insurance...ugh...ugh...and UGHHH!! So what color duct tape should I get at the store?? LOL


----------



## MisticalMisty

PunkyGurly74 said:


> IC my glasses just broke and well...I'm broke with no insurance...ugh...ugh...and UGHHH!! So what color duct tape should I get at the store?? LOL



We don't have any insurance either and my hubby found a nice set of frames for 9 dollars at the Wal-mart optical place.


----------



## Tau

OMG SO HORNY!!! I think I've broken my coochie as a result.


----------



## LovelyLiz

PunkyGurly74 said:


> IC my glasses just broke and well...I'm broke with no insurance...ugh...ugh...and UGHHH!! So what color duct tape should I get at the store?? LOL



You can also get a complete pair of glasses for under $20 (including frames, lenses, etc.) from zennioptical.com. I have friends who've had great luck with them.


----------



## SarahLaughsAlot

I'm finding it really hard to remain classy this day and time. So many guys like trash big or not, and no i'm talking about anyone on this site you girls have been so nice&#9829; but it's just in general what's up. i makes me want to forget my morals and values and let my roots go for a while, and try and get on springer all while smoking a pack of kools!&#9829; just saying


----------



## AuntHen

SarahLaughsAlot said:


> I'm finding it really hard to remain classy this day and time. So many guys like trash big or not, and no i'm talking about anyone on this site you girls have been so nice&#9829; but it's just in general what's up. i makes me want to forget my morals and values and let my roots go for a while, and try and get on springer all while smoking a pack of kools!&#9829; just saying




Stay classy San Diego!


----------



## hrd

I'm so glad the power's (finally) been restored.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

IC I wanna stay home from work - and still get paid - I want *that* job..hehehe I do have a 4 day weekend next weekend and I cannot wait!!!! :: does happy booty dance::


----------



## Emma

I'll tell you all what i'm fucking sick off. Shaving places no lady should have to shave. I'm sick of it. So fucking sick of it. I'm quite happy being fat, but the hair it makes me feel so freakishly ugly. I cannot stand it. Diet time.


----------



## bbwlibrarian

I'm sick of my nose leaking randomly thanks to summer allergies.


----------



## mszwebs

I confess that sometimes, I wish certain emoticons didn't exist...they make stuff creepy.


----------



## 1love_emily

I can't wait to escape my dull life in Nebraska for a MONTH of band camp. 

Yes, I'm going to a band camp

AND IM SO EXCITED! I get to escape, I get to play trombone all day for a month and be in the mountains with other people older than me who are talented at their instrument. It's like a sex dream for me... being with people who ACTUALLY KNOW how to play. God, it makes me all hot and bothered


----------



## fatgirlflyin

mszwebs said:


> I confess that sometimes, I wish certain emoticons didn't exist...they make stuff creepy.



:eat2::smitten::bow::


----------



## mszwebs

fatgirlflyin said:


> :eat2::smitten::bow::



:kiss2::kiss2::kiss2:


----------



## crayola box

IC I just walked into the house to be ambushed by my family wanting to discuss my weight, so I turned around and left. When I returned I could see there was nothing I could say that they would hear and accept so I told them we'll talk tomorrow. Now I am dreading picking this up in the morning.


----------



## LovelyLiz

mszwebs said:


> I confess that sometimes, I wish certain emoticons didn't exist...they make stuff creepy.



I totally read the word "emotions" here at first. I was wondering which emotions made things creepy, and was drawing a blank.

But now it all makes sense. :eat1::eat2:


----------



## bbwlibrarian

mcbeth said:


> I totally read the word "emotions" here at first. I was wondering which emotions made things creepy, and was drawing a blank.
> 
> But now it all makes sense. :eat1::eat2:



I would say that anger makes things creepy sometimes, but repression of said anger ALWAYS makes things awkward.


I ate three bags of candy today (the $1 variety, not the $5 value size kind) and I feel slightly gross as a result. However, it was *really* tasty.


----------



## hrd

An enormous mystery package showed up today, and it turns out I won a recycling bin in a Target contest. It was such an absurd surprise, I couldn't stop laughing, but I'm a recycling freak, so yay! for me. =)


----------



## MisticalMisty

crayola box said:


> IC I just walked into the house to be ambushed by my family wanting to discuss my weight, so I turned around and left. When I returned I could see there was nothing I could say that they would hear and accept so I told them we'll talk tomorrow. Now I am dreading picking this up in the morning.



I'm really sorry. I would just tell them it's not up for discussion. Good luck!


----------



## Punkin1024

I've been feeling tired a lot lately. Dealing with West Texas wind and lack of rain really wears me out. On the up side. I found a sugar-free, gluten free pancake and waffle mix that makes very tasty pancakes!


----------



## Amatrix

IC that I just want to hold someone, play with their hair and tell them everything is going to be okay.


----------



## jewels_mystery

crayola box said:


> IC I just walked into the house to be ambushed by my family wanting to discuss my weight, so I turned around and left. When I returned I could see there was nothing I could say that they would hear and accept so I told them we'll talk tomorrow. Now I am dreading picking this up in the morning.



I am sorry your family is doing this to you. {{hugs}}


----------



## jewels_mystery

IC that I finally landed a job!!! I graduated Dec 09 and the only jobs I have been offered is seasonal/temporary work. I will be relocating to central New York State. I am originally from NYC so it will be nice to be closer to family and friends. Now I am packing up stuff to ship and stuff to put in storage. yay


----------



## MisticalMisty

jewels_mystery said:


> IC that I finally landed a job!!! I graduated Dec 09 and the only jobs I have been offered is seasonal/temporary work. I will be relocating to central New York State. I am originally from NYC so it will be nice to be closer to family and friends. Now I am packing up stuff to ship and stuff to put in storage. yay



Congrats! I am so excited for you!


----------



## Tau

jewels_mystery said:


> IC that I finally landed a job!!! I graduated Dec 09 and the only jobs I have been offered is seasonal/temporary work. I will be relocating to central New York State. I am originally from NYC so it will be nice to be closer to family and friends. Now I am packing up stuff to ship and stuff to put in storage. yay



CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! So happy for you Jewels


----------



## LovelyLiz

jewels_mystery said:


> IC that I finally landed a job!!! I graduated Dec 09 and the only jobs I have been offered is seasonal/temporary work. I will be relocating to central New York State. I am originally from NYC so it will be nice to be closer to family and friends. Now I am packing up stuff to ship and stuff to put in storage. yay



AWESOME! That is great news, jewels. What will you be doing? Congratulations, and hope the move goes smoothly!!


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Something happened, I'm afraid to talk about it because it will jinx it....holding breath and waiting..:wubu::wubu:


----------



## jewels_mystery

MisticalMisty said:


> Congrats! I am so excited for you!





Tau said:


> CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! So happy for you Jewels





mcbeth said:


> AWESOME! That is great news, jewels. What will you be doing? Congratulations, and hope the move goes smoothly!!



Thanks ladies. I will be a contact representative.


----------



## PeanutButterfly

I confess I'm so in love its scary. I never thought love could last this long. I always figured that after the initial "honeymoon" phase (i.e. those first few months) that everything would cool down and it would be more a comfortable love, not the sparks flying, tingling, I never want to be without you love. While I would say my love has definitely evolved, I haven't lost a single spark. I know we've only been together a little over a year, but I didn't expect this feeling to last so long. It's almost like the first time you wear a pair of glasses. I had no idea the world was supposed to look this way or what I was missing. But now I can't imagine my life without him.

I also confess I used to be a cynic before I met this person. Well I was a romantic first, then a cynic, but this particular someone has actually managed to awaken a side of me that has been dormant for a long, long time.


----------



## Punkin1024

jewels_mystery said:


> IC that I finally landed a job!!! I graduated Dec 09 and the only jobs I have been offered is seasonal/temporary work. I will be relocating to central New York State. I am originally from NYC so it will be nice to be closer to family and friends. Now I am packing up stuff to ship and stuff to put in storage. yay



Yay!! So happy for you!



PeanutButterfly said:


> I confess I'm so in love its scary. I never thought love could last this long. I always figured that after the initial "honeymoon" phase (i.e. those first few months) that everything would cool down and it would be more a comfortable love, not the sparks flying, tingling, I never want to be without you love. While I would say my love has definitely evolved, I haven't lost a single spark. I know we've only been together a little over a year, but I didn't expect this feeling to last so long. It's almost like the first time you wear a pair of glasses. I had no idea the world was supposed to look this way or what I was missing. But now I can't imagine my life without him.
> 
> I also confess I used to be a cynic before I met this person. Well I was a romantic first, then a cynic, but this particular someone has actually managed to awaken a side of me that has been dormant for a long, long time.



Ain't LOVE grand!


----------



## Tania

IC that I've just spent the past half hour laughing my ass off at some of the comments on the Huffpost blog about _Vogue Italia_'s plus cover and photo feature. Most of the comments were very positive, but some weren't - proof positive that a lot of people have no fucking idea what fat is, let alone why it's so damn scary. Still, they're so freaked out about it that they'll pull scary-_sounding_ (to people who have no clue what women weigh or wear) numbers out of their asses to fart up a defense against it. I swear to God, you show some of these people what 200 pounds and size 14 _really_ look like, they'd melt. Like you can't get any heavier or bigger or uglier than 200 pounds or size 14. *dies at the ignorance*

In related confessions, I also really enjoy kicking that kind of stupidity in the head, just by weighing what I weigh and wearing the sizes I wear. Simply by telling the truth, I shatter men's idols.


----------



## 1love_emily

PeanutButterfly said:


> I confess I'm so in love its scary. I never thought love could last this long. I always figured that after the initial "honeymoon" phase (i.e. those first few months) that everything would cool down and it would be more a comfortable love, not the sparks flying, tingling, I never want to be without you love. While I would say my love has definitely evolved, I haven't lost a single spark. I know we've only been together a little over a year, but I didn't expect this feeling to last so long. It's almost like the first time you wear a pair of glasses. I had no idea the world was supposed to look this way or what I was missing. But now I can't imagine my life without him.
> 
> I also confess I used to be a cynic before I met this person. Well I was a romantic first, then a cynic, but this particular someone has actually managed to awaken a side of me that has been dormant for a long, long time.



That is so cute! I'm so jealous, and I hope my life works out like this! I'm sososo happy for you!


----------



## crayola box

Thanks guys. It went terribly but...c'est la vie


----------



## hrd

It's 91F (33C) but feels like 97F (36C), and I'd really, really like for it to be a do-nothing day; my life has a different take on the matter. =)


----------



## bonified

It's 12.3c here right now with the sun out, i'd swap that for a 36c any day of the year, winter is the most horrid depressing of all seasons for me, wah wah wah.


----------



## hrd

bonified said:


> It's 12.3c here right now with the sun out, i'd swap that for a 36c any day of the year, winter is the most horrid depressing of all seasons for me, wah wah wah.



If I could send some of this heat your way, I would. =) It's way too early for temps to be this high -- not that it's supposed to ever get so hot here anyway -- but it should be only about 22C right now. I'm heading out of town for a couple weeks, and at this rate my container and veg gardens are probably going to be nothing but dessicated dirt by the time I return, which is totally bumming me out.


----------



## Emma

Pfffffft. I really could cry right now. My bff has started wanting to go out and do things and change his life up a bit, and I want to do the same. Hes invited me to a theme park a few hours away, making a weekend of it and geting a hotel and going out to dinner but I don't think I could hack walking around all day and I'm pretty certain I wouldn't fit in any of the rides. This sucks SOOO much coz I so want to go. I'd even find a way to confront my anxiety over it. Thankfully I had the anxiety excuse but I'm gutted


----------



## Jes

PeanutButterfly said:


> I also confess I used to be a cynic before I met this person. Well I was a romantic first, then a cynic, but this particular someone has actually managed to awaken a side of me that has been dormant for a long, long time.



I know the feeling, and it's fantastic. Good on ya!


----------



## milfy

i confess that i just ate a whole family pack of crisps/chips - oh dear! oppssyyy


----------



## JulieD

IC my feelings are a little hurt, but I know its just me over reacting...oh well...I will get over it I'm sure...


----------



## LovelyLiz

JulieD said:


> IC my feelings are a little hurt, but I know its just me over reacting...oh well...I will get over it I'm sure...



I hope you do feel more peaceful about things soon. I'm in the middle of my own blowing things out of proportion mood, so I can totally relate!  Here's to some healthy perspective for the both of us.


----------



## JulieD

JulieD said:


> IC my feelings are a little hurt, but I know its just me over reacting...oh well...I will get over it I'm sure...



IC I'm not over it...men are so confusing and complicated. I don't get, I just don't get it...:huhh, and yes I am over reacting.....I know I am and so what


----------



## PunkyGurly74

OMG! OMG! I'm afraid to get too excited or happy..

But, I think I met someone and like..I think we are dating or something...I'm not sure...don't want this to go away...


----------



## aocutiepi

IC that I asked if he wanted to go with me to Cedar Point because we both love roller coasters and have never been--he said yes and was very excited. Then, I read their website and wanted to cry. "Due to rider restraint system requirements, guests of exceptional size may not be accommodated on some of our rides. This may apply, but not be limited to, men who exceed 62, or those who exceed 225 pounds, have a 40 waistline or 52 chest or females who exceed 200 pounds or wear size 18 or larger. Each person has different body proportions so it is not possible to list exact size and weight." I'm 240 and a size 20. :sad:

I really want to go, and have never really had troubles before with coasters (I did have to sit in a modified seat at Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey) but obviously, if I can't fit, it would be a wasted 6 hour trip and embarrassing. Ugh... I don't know how I'm going to break it to him that I can't go because I'm too fat.


----------



## SuziQ

PeanutButterfly said:


> I confess I'm so in love its scary. I never thought love could last this long. I always figured that after the initial "honeymoon" phase (i.e. those first few months) that everything would cool down and it would be more a comfortable love, not the sparks flying, tingling, I never want to be without you love. While I would say my love has definitely evolved, I haven't lost a single spark. I know we've only been together a little over a year, but I didn't expect this feeling to last so long. It's almost like the first time you wear a pair of glasses. I had no idea the world was supposed to look this way or what I was missing. But now I can't imagine my life without him.
> 
> I also confess I used to be a cynic before I met this person. Well I was a romantic first, then a cynic, but this particular someone has actually managed to awaken a side of me that has been dormant for a long, long time.



I think love is a choice we have in each moment. It makes me feel so good knowing you two are out there in the world sharing your lives. Wishing you much joy.


----------



## mossystate

aocutiepi said:


> IC that I asked if he wanted to go with me to Cedar Point because we both love roller coasters and have never been--he said yes and was very excited. Then, I read their website and wanted to cry. "Due to rider restraint system requirements, guests of exceptional size may not be accommodated on some of our rides. This may apply, but not be limited to, men who exceed 62, or those who exceed 225 pounds, have a 40 waistline or 52 chest or females who exceed 200 pounds or wear size 18 or larger. Each person has different body proportions so it is not possible to list exact size and weight." I'm 240 and a size 20. :sad:
> 
> I really want to go, and have never really had troubles before with coasters (I did have to sit in a modified seat at Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey) but obviously, if I can't fit, it would be a wasted 6 hour trip and embarrassing. Ugh... I don't know how I'm going to break it to him that I can't go because I'm too fat.



You have met this man? Then he knows you are fat...right? A simple, " I was looking on their website, and I am a touch over the weight and size limit they posted. We could chance it, but maybe it would be best to find another absolutely fun thing to do. " Try not to look at it as your " breaking it to him ".....that sounds like you just lost his dog that you were babysitting...lol Breathe......you like him...he likes you...etc...etc.. And his reaction will give you that much more information about him.


----------



## aocutiepi

mossystate said:


> You have met this man? Then he knows you are fat...right? A simple, " I was looking on their website, and I am a touch over the weight and size limit they posted. We could chance it, but maybe it would be best to find another absolutely fun thing to do. " Try not to look at it as your " breaking it to him ".....that sounds like you just lost his dog that you were babysitting...lol Breathe......you like him...he likes you...etc...etc.. And his reaction will give you that much more information about him.



I'm not sure about the him liking me part (as anything more than friends... unless that's what you meant). That's why it's sticky. I _like_ him*, though. We've been friends for a long time, so I know he knows I'm fat, I've been bouncing around between 220-280 since I've known him. I just, uh... feel uncomfortable about the whole situation. 

IC that I know I'm an insecure idiot.



* *like* like him, OMG! (Ahhh, middle school.)


----------



## Inhibited

bonified said:


> It's 12.3c here right now with the sun out, i'd swap that for a 36c any day of the year, winter is the most horrid depressing of all seasons for me, wah wah wah.



Couldn't agree more ... bring on spring/summer..


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I'm hating my weight right now. But... I have a reason.

I've been pushing my mother all around the hospital the past week. Now... she's as heavy as me, sitting on a 35lbs industrial wheelchair, and I'm going up and down steep hills and around tight corners just to push her around. It's hurting the hell out of my knees and ankles. And now the middle of my shins are hurting as if the bone wants to give out and crack right in the middle. I'm so worn out.

Mind you, I haven't taken anything for pain because I'm stubborn like that. I probably should because it probably would help. 

But I know this is caused by forcing my weight plus a full amount above my weight around on my knees and my ankles that are already weak to begin with.



Sigh. I'm so torn.


----------



## lozonloz

IC that the fact that the show "Embarassing Fat Bodies" is on behind me is actually making me rant at the sofa in rage and hatred. 

I didnt put it on, someone else is watching it


----------



## PunkyGurly74

IC that I'm a fucking idiot - yet again!! Wheeeee!!

As if anyone could ever really like me..wtf was I thinking?


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC that for some reason, so long as the place between my hips and my boobs looks small, I'm happy with my size. It happened today where I looked in the mirror for the first time in a week and was rather surprised at how little my natural waist area was compared to the rest. It totally made my day. But I know that it's from stressing and pushing a lot of weight around and racing down hallways and stuff. But still. It's a nice little payoff for all the stressful stuff I've been going through this week with mom getting hospitalized.


----------



## mossystate

CarlaSixx said:


> IC that for some reason, so long as the place between my hips and my boobs looks small, I'm happy with my size. It happened today where I looked in the mirror for the first time in a week and was rather surprised at how little my natural waist area was compared to the rest. It totally made my day. But I know that it's from stressing and pushing a lot of weight around and racing down hallways and stuff. But still. It's a nice little payoff for all the stressful stuff I've been going through this week with mom getting hospitalized.



grab onto that nice, Carla...wherever you can find it or grow it.....you are in my thoughts...you have just way too much on your plate


----------



## NancyGirl74

IC...My fat hating, fat bashing, fat boss (ok more chubby than fat) is being forced to work in another branch for 6 weeks. She is miserable. I am sooo freakin' happy! Bitch be-gone and take your negativity and anger issues with you! *Happy fat dancing*


----------



## Yakatori

aocutiepi said:


> "_IC that I know I'm an insecure idiot._"


 Having to process the disconnect between your own innate sense of self-worth and what society is; & sort of arbitrarily at that; telling you what you can and can't or should and shouldn't do does not make you an idiot. On the contrary, the result of how efficiently and effectively and eloquently you can mange to reconcile or otherwise navigate these incongruities in a manner that works for you could very well help to define you as a highly intelligent and resourceful person. There are people twice your age who still haven't figured out what you may well be on the precipice of resolving for yourself. So, try not to sweat it so much. 



mossystate said:


> "_...maybe it would be best to find another absolutely fun thing to do. " Try not to look at it as your " breaking it to him ".....that sounds like you just lost his dog that you were babysitting...lol Breathe......you like him...he likes you...etc...etc.. And his reaction will give you that much more information about him. _"


That's one perfectly solid approach, but...



aocutiepi said:


> "_*I really want to go*...if I can't fit, it would be a wasted 6 hour trip and embarrassing. Ugh... I don't know how I'm going to break it to him that I *can't* go because I'm too fat._"


Then you should go. Who's life are you going save by -not- going? This past summer, I drove that much one way to take my dad to a convention for his job. To me, the convention itself was absolute bores-ville. But, from my point of view, you can take a 6 hour trip just to spend time with someone. Imagine if you could just explain to him at some point beforehand, just as the notice explained to you, that you won't really know until you get there whether or not you'll be too big to go on all of the rides or none of the rides or anywhere in between. But that you'd want to go anyway, no matter what, just to go with him. Could you just imagine yourself trying to do that? Approaching it like you're trying to get on the Price is Right; or a job interview; or some fisticuffs; where you can't possibly fully anticipate the outcome or full ramifications of your efforts; but you just bring your effort because it's how you do. What do you think that would mean for you, if you could and did do just that? And, in doing it, realized it's what you can do anytime you so choose?


----------



## Tania

Re: the Cedar Point thing, I'd do some in-depth research about some of the key attractions. I have no idea if there's a similar resource for Cedar Point, but Allears.net actually has a guide to Walt Disney World for people of size. I can't imagine there isn't SOMETHING available online about The Point's accessibility, even if it's just some message board postings reflecting guest experiences. Additionally, it wouldn't hurt to call the park and ask for some information. It's absolutely Cedar Fair's business to know the dimensions of every. single. fucking ride vehicle - for reasons of disability accessibility and operational safety, if nothing else. If they get bitchy about it, there's another reason to kiss them off. 

At any rate, once you know what you're really dealing with, you may feel a lot more comfortable making a judgement call. It would be a shame to spend so much money on gas and admission only to discover that you're going to have to play the "guess how I REALLY feel when I tell you to go ahead and ride without me" game with somebody you like but don't know tremendously well in a lot of ways. It's not really fair to you, and it's not really fair to him, either. 

If you're still feeling ambivalent after attempting some research, I'd go with Mossy's suggestion, at least for the time being. There's always time for Cedar Point, or better, if things go well. When you opt to do something less conundral first, you won't be spending your first "date" in a pile of worry nor will you putting your friend in a weird place by essentially asking him to make the decision for you. Plus, you'll have the added benefit of a personality litmus test: You say you would like to postpone the outing while you research size logistics of the park, and his response becomes an indicator of his character and interest level. If he says "no" to other outings, you know he's not that into you.


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC that I am really trying to give up artificial sweeteners forever. This has been especially hard in drinks...but I am happy to have less chemicals in my life (at least for the past few days, and hopefully for many more!).

Also...IC that I enjoyed Drop Dead Diva the first two seasons, but for some reason I'm kind of feeling over it and maybe won't even watch this season.


----------



## penguin

IC I'm having one of my "I feel invisible and forgettable" days :really sad:


----------



## luscious_lulu

penguin said:


> IC I'm having one of my "I feel invisible and forgettable" days :really sad:




You are definitely not forgettable nor are you invisible...


----------



## Yakatori

Tania said:


> "_Re: the Cedar Point thing, I'd do some in-depth research about some of the key attractions...can't imagine there isn't SOMETHING available online about The Point's accessibility, even if it's just some message board postings reflecting guest experiences. Additionally, it wouldn't hurt to call the park and ask for some information. It's absolutely Cedar Fair's business to know the dimensions of every. single. fucking ride vehicle - for reasons of disability accessibility and operational safety, if nothing else...once you know what you're really dealing with, you may feel a lot more comfortable making a judgement call. It would be a shame to spend so much money on gas and admission only to discover that you're going to have to play the "guess how I REALLY feel when I tell you to go ahead and ride without me" game with somebody you like but don't know tremendously well in a lot of ways. It's not really fair to you, and it's not really fair to him, either...When you opt to do something less *conundral* first, you won't be spending your first "date" in a pile of worry nor will you putting your friend in a weird place by essentially asking him to make the decision for you. _"


You know, come to think of it, you guys are actually right. I underestimated the importance of "like" in this equation. I was just sort of premised in the idea of them being so solid as friends that it wouldn't matter so much, which is sort of short-sighted and...I dunno. There's no real reason for her to take all of this on all at once.:doh:

So, *aocutiepi*, if your goal here is to have an outing that helps to "transition" you into more of a couple, you're probably better off with something that both feels a little safer & more confident for you, but also emphasizes what you imagine he may find appealing about you. Maybe, even, a few "dates" like that. 

Plus, I, somehow, kind of overlooked the fact that that you're asking him to go to this place that he, otherwise, might not make as much of a priority (as opposed to the other way around). 



Tania said:


> "_..If they get bitchy about it, there's another reason to kiss them off. _"



Likewise, with the price of gas, I'm all for letting your fingers doing the walking. But, when something's really important to you, and whether its value is material or symbolic; you tend to find there are always things that don't show up when researching from a safe-distance. And it will generally be easier/safer to be the 1 millionth person to try to do something, than the first or the 100th. So, if the online-resources are not out there to reasonably determine if a person of your size can or cannot do what it is you'd like to try to do; just consider that you cold very well be the future author of the resource that guides others.

So, maybe my point was really just more about the idea that, if it's something you really, really want to do; you don't automatically have to be deterred by some numbers posted on a website, which likely err on the side of a conservative estimate. Nor do you have to deterred by what you hear over the phone, from one person who works there. Now, if the harness on the ride won't close & lock or the carny manning it tells you to back-off; well, then you might want to reconsider; wouldn't want you to fall-out...But, otherwise, what ultimately deters you ought to at least match-up well against how much/little you actually want to do something. And sometimes it requires you to more carefully reevaluate what's actually more important to you.


----------



## HottiMegan

IC that even though i love my kids and enjoy being around them, having both of them home has been very trying on my patience and energy. It's 9:00 and i'm ready to go to sleep! It's only this week though, last i was a lot better.. i wonder if it has to do with _that _time of month.. I am so looking forward to this weekend so i can take a couple naps while hubby mans the kids


----------



## penguin

luscious_lulu said:


> You are definitely not forgettable nor are you invisible...



Thank you. It's just one of those kind of days for me. I know it'll pass, and I know it's driven by hormones and not enough sleep.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

IC that I missed my depo shot for the first time in almost 5 years...and I'm a hormonal wreck. I am on the verge of tears constantly - for no logical reason and I am scared I am going to lose my job if I cannot real it in...I do customer service and people are mean sometimes and instead of handling it...I start crying... ugh..I'm sooo fucked if I cannot make this stop...any suggestions??? (turns out I have discovered over the last 3 months they have very little loyalty to their employees..a girl who I started with was 11 minutes late 2 days before our 90 day mark because she had to find a babysitter and they fired her)


----------



## luscious_lulu

I've come to realize over the past few days that I am not happy at work. It's time for me to move on. I'm terrified, I don't know what I want to do, but I know I can't fake it anymore.


----------



## lozonloz

IC that should my brother come to me again for money, he will get nothing.

I'm so tired of bailing him out. 

He can go on benefits and live in a bedsit, and fucking grow up and learn to deal.

He got given £5000 in March and three months later its all been drunk, smoked and used on stupid debts. Fuck him.


----------



## lollipops708

I confess that while I deeply and almost painfully yearn to accept my weight and size.
I feel as if I were giving up. 

Giving up on being healthy.. giving up on being beautiful..
Almost as if my acceptance would mean the end of any chance of being normal.

I think to my self " can I bring myself back from the brink? Can I find this ever elusive 'will power' and stop eating, stop revolving my life around food and rhe never ending cycle of indulgement and self hatred?" 

So I constantly struggle of wanting to love my self and hating my self for wanting it. 

Ah I'm such a debbie downer :doh:


----------



## aocutiepi

I'm sorry I haven't responded to anyone, I've been out of town and without consistent internet access. Thanks for all of your feedback, you've given me lots to think about.


----------



## Lamia

I confess on a whim I took a picture of my fat. I was sitting on my couch checking out my fat rolls and I reached over and grabbed my boyfriends cell phone. I took a very abstract picture of my fat rolls and made it his wallpaper. I admit it was a very liberating experience. 

He is an FA and loved it.


----------



## LovelyLiz

I confess that I miss my boyfriend. He left a couple days ago, is out of the country for a month, and I miss him much more than I thought I would. It makes me feel a little like a weak person or a loser or something, even though I think it probably is just a natural response. I'm still living life and finding joy and all that, but I really do miss his presence.


----------



## VeronicaVaughn

I confess that I'm really, really excited to be a part of Dimensions. What took me so long to sign up? I mean, _really_?


----------



## 1love_emily

I confess that I've adapted to his time zone 

Also, I _reallllllllly_ want some Cheetos.


----------



## Tania

IC that my birthday is this week, and it's making me feel...fragile. It's not the birthday itself, it's the celebrations I'd planned for this upcoming weekend with friends. It's not going according to plan, which in and of itself isn't a problem. But I *am* feeling a bit like I've been left high and dry. It isn't about any one person, it's just an aggregation of letdowns. Some people had good reasons, others not so much. While I know the bowouts have nothing to do with me in particular, it still makes me sad and hesitant about going through with it at all. And the craziest part about it was that this whole deal wasn't even my idea. Hell, most of the time I won't even suggest having a party for myself because I can't handle the rejection when everyone bails. 

On top of that, my fucking teaching schedule SUCKS this summer and my kitty is suffering major mucus brought on by an innoculation, of all things. I'm trying really hard to keep things in perspective, but I'm not gonna lie - I'm in a "fuck ALL y'all" kind of mood.


----------



## CleverBomb

Happy Impending Birthday!

I hope it goes better than you expect. 
At the very least, it means you've survived another year. 

-Rusty


----------



## Ellie

I confess that I totally stole a roll of toilet paper from work.

It's been raining all day and I could not be bothered stopping off at the store on my way home


----------



## Surlysomething

Tania said:


> IC that my birthday is this week, and it's making me feel...fragile. It's not the birthday itself, it's the celebrations I'd planned for this upcoming weekend with friends. It's not going according to plan, which in and of itself isn't a problem. But I *am* feeling a bit like I've been left high and dry. It isn't about any one person, it's just an aggregation of letdowns. Some people had good reasons, others not so much. While I know the bowouts have nothing to do with me in particular, it still makes me sad and hesitant about going through with it at all. And the craziest part about it was that this whole deal wasn't even my idea. Hell, most of the time I won't even suggest having a party for myself because I can't handle the rejection when everyone bails.
> 
> On top of that, my fucking teaching schedule SUCKS this summer and my kitty is suffering major mucus brought on by an innoculation, of all things. I'm trying really hard to keep things in perspective, but I'm not gonna lie - I'm in a "fuck ALL y'all" kind of mood.


 
Ugh. I hate when that happens. And it happens a lot in my big family.



I hope something works out in the end, chickie.


----------



## MisticalMisty

mcbeth said:


> I confess that I miss my boyfriend. He left a couple days ago, is out of the country for a month, and I miss him much more than I thought I would. It makes me feel a little like a weak person or a loser or something, even though I think it probably is just a natural response. I'm still living life and finding joy and all that, but I really do miss his presence.



Tomorrow will be the first time my husband and I will spend a night apart since we got married. I'm already weepy about it and I'm just going to go one state up and for an overnight trip. 

It doesn't mean you're weak or a loser....it just means that you care about him and he's an important person in your life.


----------



## Tania

Thank you, Surly and Rusty.


----------



## TexasTrouble

Tania, I think that's the big bummer of summer birthdays. My b-day's Sunday and half my family/friends are on vacation or have other summer plans. I hope it turns out wonderful!


----------



## Tania

Happy birthday!

And ain't that the truth...I suppose it could be worse. I could've been born on December 23 instead.


----------



## LovelyLiz

MisticalMisty said:


> Tomorrow will be the first time my husband and I will spend a night apart since we got married. I'm already weepy about it and I'm just going to go one state up and for an overnight trip.
> 
> It doesn't mean you're weak or a loser....it just means that you care about him and he's an important person in your life.



Very true, thanks Misty! And I hope you have a good trip even while missing the hubby.


----------



## herin

IC that I'm feeling mighty fine today. Things are looking up. Finally!


----------



## HottiMegan

mcbeth said:


> I confess that I miss my boyfriend. He left a couple days ago, is out of the country for a month, and I miss him much more than I thought I would. It makes me feel a little like a weak person or a loser or something, even though I think it probably is just a natural response. I'm still living life and finding joy and all that, but I really do miss his presence.



I sobbed myself to bed for a week when hubby left for Germany for a week 3 years into our marriage. It was our first time apart in all that time. I too felt like a dork and so weak for being so lonely and sad without him.


----------



## aocutiepi

herin said:


> IC that I'm feeling mighty fine today. Things are looking up. Finally!



Yay! Glad you had an up day. Those are the best.


----------



## paintsplotch

a friend said today he thinks i think too much about sex and wanting a relationship.
i have moments of being totally consumed by wanting a man in my life and having sex.... but usually i live day to day and just go about my business.
i think when i talk to my guy friends.... i tend to wish they were more.... and wonder why they dont want me.... 

i dunno.. im just weird.


----------



## Wholelottarosie78

IC I still cry for him when I'm alone. Not for who he is but who I thought he was. WTF was I thinking? Crying for me too I guess.


----------



## LovelyLiz

HottiMegan said:


> I sobbed myself to bed for a week when hubby left for Germany for a week 3 years into our marriage. It was our first time apart in all that time. I too felt like a dork and so weak for being so lonely and sad without him.



I am glad I am not the only dork in the world.  But what's the alternative, that when people we love leave we don't miss them at all? That would be kind of a bad sign, right?!? Thanks for sharing your experience with this too, Megan.


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Wholelottarosie78 said:


> IC I still cry for him when I'm alone. Not for who he is but who I thought he was. WTF was I thinking? Crying for me too I guess.



Been there, it gets better...


----------



## paintsplotch

today was a good day.
i felt good
i looked good
and well..... i laughed alot and really enjoyed being out and being seen.


----------



## HottiMegan

This is the first time in i don't know how long that I'm alone. Totally and completely alone. It's sort of nice to have me time without the guilt that I'm neglecting someone's needs. I probably won't have this again for a very long time so i'm relishing in it!


----------



## Tania

Yeah, so, the paysite ad atop the user panel and fashion fora is making it so I can't visit dimensions when other people are around. IC it really fucking annoys me. 

There's more, but that's my bottom line.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

Tania said:


> Yeah, so, the paysite ad atop the user panel and fashion fora is making it so I can't visit dimensions when other people are around. IC it really fucking annoys me.
> 
> There's more, but that's my bottom line.



I think it's kinda weird ad placement too, given that most of us who post on there are women (granted, some folks are GLBTQ, but still).


----------



## AnnMarie

Wholelottarosie78 said:


> IC I still cry for him when I'm alone. Not for who he is but who I thought he was. WTF was I thinking? Crying for me too I guess.




God - been there, too. It gets better, and eventually the crying will give way to some anger, and then the anger dissipates and you just move along. Not sure of your circumstance, but eventually I just realized that what I thought I knew never really was, and that's that. I didn't do anything wrong, no one did, it just wasn't what it seemed. 

Good luck, just look forward.


----------



## Webmaster

Diana_Prince245 said:


> I think it's kinda weird ad placement too, given that most of us who post on there are women (granted, some folks are GLBTQ, but still).



The paysite ads were never supposed to show in the fashion forum. I had it programmed so that only fashion ads would show up there. We currently don't have any, and somehow the paysite ads loaded. Fixed.


----------



## Webmaster

Tania said:


> Yeah, so, the paysite ad atop the user panel and fashion fora is making it so I can't visit dimensions when other people are around. IC it really fucking annoys me.
> 
> There's more, but that's my bottom line.



Sorry about that. As stated, the paysite ads in the fashion forum were an error, but we do need the paysite ads to cover part of the cost of running what otherwise is an almost completely ad-free and spam-free site.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

Webmaster said:


> The paysite ads were never supposed to show in the fashion forum. I had it programmed so that only fashion ads would show up there. We currently don't have any, and somehow the paysite ads loaded. Fixed.



Thank you, good sir.


----------



## Tania

Thank you for addressing the issue. 

And Diana, totally agree.


----------



## cinnamongirlky

I confess that even though I try to tell myself being alone is ok..I am actually lonely and want someone by my side. :really sad:

I also confess that I am glad I signed up here and hope I make lots of friends!


----------



## hrd

Even though I have tons to do before I head back, I'm quite glad I'll be home by Wednesday evening.


----------



## cinnamongirlky

I confess that my insomnia is running rampant. Even my ambien isn't putting me out. I confess I am still up at 6:30 AM....  

I confess I am going to NOW try to sleep, wish me luck!


----------



## LovelyLiz

cinnamongirlky said:


> I confess that my insomnia is running rampant. Even my ambien isn't putting me out. I confess I am still up at 6:30 AM....
> 
> I confess I am going to NOW try to sleep, wish me luck!



Ugh...insomnia is the worst. I hope you finally were able to get to sleep, and these issues get sorted out soon.


----------



## cinnamongirlky

mcbeth said:


> Ugh...insomnia is the worst. I hope you finally were able to get to sleep, and these issues get sorted out soon.



Thank you! I have chronic insomnia...Luckily it comes and goes in waves. For a few weeks, I won't sleep much at all, then I will crash and burn and have a few weeks of decent sleep. It's weird, but I've been this way since I was young. You just deal with it the best you can!


----------



## cinnamongirlky

I confess that today I am going to eat whatever I want and as much as I want because tomorrow I can't have any solid food. Look out fridge, here I come haha!!


----------



## Miss Vickie

I'm totally stressed right now with school and work and a host of other stuff going on that I can't discuss here. I have this strong desire to go shopping and buy a ton of stuff that I don't need and can't afford.

What I need to do is just buckle down with school and manage my anxiety better. But the rebel in me wants to SHOP!!!!


----------



## Surlysomething

Miss Vickie said:


> I'm totally stressed right now with school and work and a host of other stuff going on that I can't discuss here. I have this strong desire to go shopping and buy a ton of stuff that I don't need and can't afford.
> 
> What I need to do is just buckle down with school and manage my anxiety better. But the rebel in me wants to SHOP!!!!


 

Isn't it weird how buying things makes us happy? Ugh. I wish cleaning my bathroom made me super-excited, over the moon happy. Haha.

Feel better, lady! Take time for naps.


----------



## Miss Vickie

Surlysomething said:


> Isn't it weird how buying things makes us happy? Ugh. I wish cleaning my bathroom made me super-excited, over the moon happy. Haha.
> 
> Feel better, lady! Take time for naps.



Heh. Yeah, I wish cleaning the bathroom did it for me but alas, no. 

And thanks. I think I'll nap a little this afternoon. Last night was no fun. There are better ways to be up all night.


----------



## CarlaSixx

I'm sick of being compared to my brother. He used to be larger than me and now he's not. Well... most of him isn't. His upper torso is the same size as mine if my boobs were the size of his moobs. But the rest of him is dramatically smaller than me. And even my mother is telling me I need to lose weight because of what my brother looks like. To her, and pretty much everyone else, if he can do it then I should be able to as well. All because he was a compulsive eater. But it's easier said than done  He did it because of girls. And still he gained back some of the weight he lost (and is still re-gaining) but I don't want to be pressured.

I hate when people compare me to others. I always feel like the worst failure in the world and it makes me want to die.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Soooo...IC.....I'm not sure how much longer I'm supposed to give a flying rat's ass about life...I am not sure there is much point?


----------



## Amatrix

I am in need of some adult time.


----------



## Miss Vickie

PunkyGurly74 said:


> Soooo...IC.....I'm not sure how much longer I'm supposed to give a flying rat's ass about life...I am not sure there is much point?



You too, huh?


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Miss Vickie said:


> You too, huh?



Yep...I'm sorry you feel the same way....

I'm ready for my next life.


----------



## Surlysomething

Missing my friend Sam today. It will be a year July 23 that he passed away.

I love that boy so much.


----------



## Miss Vickie

PunkyGurly74 said:


> Yep...I'm sorry you feel the same way....
> 
> I'm ready for my next life.



*sigh* Oh yeah.



Surlysomething said:


> Missing my friend Sam today. It will be a year July 23 that he passed away.
> 
> I love that boy so much.



Sorry, Surlysomething. I hope your day is one of healing, where you can remember the good times with a minimum of pain and sadness.


----------



## hrd

I'm really not a fan of mowing the lawn. If I had piles of money, I would probably waste some of it on one of these. =)


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I confess I have a new job interview on Friday - and I'm afraid I am going to screw it up. I really would like this job. It is closer to where I live and no more customer service. Oh and it pays more.


----------



## lozonloz

IC that I'm actually scared by how much I hate that woman.

She just congratulated me on my degree. And on the surface that just seems nice.

And I'm fuming because she did it via facebook via my dad's memorial page and said how proud he would have been of me.

Oh... £$%&* you! How DARE you talk to me about my father? You KEPT him from me you POISONED his mind against me and you wouldn't even leave me alone with him long enough to say goodbye when he was awake. £$%&* you. Don't speak for him. I know he would have been proud of me. You saying so just... just poisons that for me. And you KNOW that. You KNOW how I feel about you and you resent me just as much which is WHY WE DON'T SPEAK. Sure, it may look like you're being nice but what you're really doing is trying to £$%&* up my good times by reminding me he's dead and how much it still hurts. You spiteful £$%&*. Don't crop up online after 6 months of us not talking or seeing each other and trying to turn my brother against me and trying to steal my grandfathers money and insulting my family and stressing out my grandma and sniping at my mother and say one £$%&*ing word to me. 

...see? That kind of rage scares me. I haven't lost an ounce of bile in 2 years, it just keeps getting worse. I've never hated someone so much. I didn't think I was capable of it. It makes me disappointed in myself.


----------



## Cynthia

Earlier this week, I began reading a cognitive therapist’s book about food issues. And while much of her advice seemed practical and realistic, I found myself getting increasingly combative and picking fights with her in my head over every third word. I was so busy challenging the elements that offended my size acceptance values, that I couldn’t take away whatever might have been useful. 

And, to make matters worse, a couple of co-workers “congratulated” me on losing a few pounds, an observation that felt like a scary violation of privacy and sent me straight to the nearest vending machine. So now, I’m sitting here with a fat power fist, an abandoned book, increasingly achy joints, and still no peace with food. Bleh.


----------



## ConnieLynn

PunkyGurly74 said:


> I confess I have a new job interview on Friday - and I'm afraid I am going to screw it up. I really would like this job. It is closer to where I live and no more customer service. Oh and it pays more.



Look them straight in the eye and tell them you are the best that's ever been. You'll either exude confidence or intimidate them into hiring you Good luck!


----------



## Tania

I'm bloated and sore and one of my kitties was killed by a car last night. My heart is broken.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

Tania said:


> I'm bloated and sore and one of my kitties was killed by a car last night. My heart is broken.



I'm so sorry, Tania


----------



## Cynthia

Tania said:


> I'm bloated and sore and one of my kitties was killed by a car last night. My heart is broken.



That must hurt terribly. I'm so sorry, Tania.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Tania said:


> I'm bloated and sore and one of my kitties was killed by a car last night. My heart is broken.



I am so so so sorry for your loss, Tania. BIG BIG (((HUGS))) to you.


----------



## Tania

Thank you, gals. It was Alice, my little tabby cat. She was so sweet and adorable.  I miss her so much.


----------



## CarlaSixx

Sorry to hear that, Tania  Same happened to the dear furbaby of a friend of mine. But Rainbow Bridge brings them lots of buddies to frolic with and to welcome them in 

-------

IC I feel really bad being a fat person around a certain friend of mine. I mean... while we both had some crazy issues in common, and we both had an eating disorder, she's still struggling with hers, and since I've gained around 80lbs since the last time I saw her, I feel kinda bad around her. 

Hard to explain. It's not like "oh God, she's thin and I'm not." It's more along the lines of that I don't want her to think she's going to end up being my size by eating healthy, etc. Most importantly, I don't want her feeling like she *is* my size despite clearly being far from it. Like... I don't want my size to negatively impact her health. Know what I mean?

I'm *so* proud of her for getting this far, and I don't want to be the one who messes it up for her  

I'm probably just being too... umm.. paranoid(?) about it, but I do worry of inadvertently harming good people. I've always been that way.


----------



## mossystate

I confess I am once again tempted to get in some faces and do some yelling, and perhaps a little shoulder shaking.

CHOOSE a fat woman. Do not CHOOSE a thinner woman, and then think it is somehow an OK thing to tell her that you actually prefer a body that is not like hers. KNOCK IT THE HELL OFF.

The women in these situations don't have to be understanding. They are not automatically insecure. They probably just think you ( general you ) are a complete asshole. What is it that the women are supposed to think? What is the freakish drive to think that your preference tops everything else. What is it they are allowed to feel, without being required to take on YOUR issues? Are these women supposed to change their bodies for you? What is the point, other than to make yourself feel better at the expense of another humans sense of security and feeling cared for.

" I prefer a man who has a completely different body than yours......so, what movie do you want to see ". Try that on for size...and get used to being told all the time, through actions or words......and never know when the things she does like about you cease being enough. 

Keep it to yourselves.

* says 13 Hail Marys for the things I am thinking...then Mary tells me not to sweat it *


----------



## HottiMegan

IC I am so down the last couple of days that i have been crying off and on all day. I am having trouble handling the boys and their energy. I can't place my finger on it. I am just so unhappy. I think i must be in the downswing of my depression. I don't need this either. Max has surgery in 9 days. I have no time for dealing with me. I really hate my emotional instability sometimes. It feels so selfish and self centered.


----------



## Tania

Thank you for the kind condolences here and via rep, you guys. I really appreciate it. :*


----------



## TheMrs

I confess. I love this place. Being here and reading about all of everyones lives, ups & downs, reminds me to like myself, appreciate myself and to be confident. Thank you all


----------



## hrd

I don't know if it quite qualifies as irony, but when I returned home at the start of the month, I brought as many things out of storage as my car would hold, and now I've applied for a job back downstate that I'm fairly likely to land and may have to move it right back again in less than two weeks. But I feel like a brat because as much as I'd love (and need) the job and know I'll take it if they offer it, I honestly don't want to move -- I've finally let myself settle in a bit and started making future plans. /whinging


----------



## Emma

IC that I feel invisable here, especially when I post a photo. Everyone else gets like loads of comments and I never do. It just makes me feel really ugly, I don't think I will again because it makes me feel so bad.


----------



## LovelyLiz

CurvyEm said:


> IC that I feel invisable here, especially when I post a photo. Everyone else gets like loads of comments and I never do. It just makes me feel really ugly, I don't think I will again because it makes me feel so bad.



 Sorry that you're feeling bad, CurvyEm. 

To throw in my two cents, there are a lot of reasons a photo doesn't get many comments and another does - and in my observation it is hardly just about whether people find the person in the pic attractive or not. One thing I've noticed is that (minus the really racy pics that will pretty much get comments no matter what), the people who get a lot of comments on their photos tend to be people who either give a lot of positive feedback on other people's photos, or people who just post a TON in general and have a lot of built up rapport with lots of other posters. And I actually think that's fair - those people are putting effort in to encourage other people, so I think it's good that it tends to come back around to them.

Sure it's a bummer when no one comments on your photo, but there are lots of reasons for it that have nothing to do with whether you're hot or not. Dimensions can seem like there's a cliquey in-crowd at times, but even tho it's sometimes easier said than done: don't let a group of online strangers determine how you feel about yourself. And if you need to stop posting photos in order to keep from feeling bad, I hope that works for you. 

Either way, I hope you feel better and rock what you got (in real life).


----------



## Jes

Found a $100 bill (not counterfeit) on the ground this morning during my walk to work! No one was around, though I did find it next to a McDonald's receipt. 

I did the right thing, but will most likely get to keep the cash. 

Thank god I was late this morning!


----------



## DeerVictory

I'm on my first day off in what seems like forever, and I'm torn between getting dressed and looking pretty in ways that I haven't bothered to for work or just laying in bed all day. 

life is hard.


----------



## Shan34

IC that I space out WAY too much!


----------



## Mishty

IC I really should be supporting my local musicians, but I just can't do it tonight. I feel like poo. :huh:


----------



## AnnMarie

mcbeth said:


> Sorry that you're feeling bad, CurvyEm.
> 
> To throw in my two cents, there are a lot of reasons a photo doesn't get many comments and another does - and in my observation it is hardly just about whether people find the person in the pic attractive or not. One thing I've noticed is that (minus the really racy pics that will pretty much get comments no matter what), the people who get a lot of comments on their photos tend to be people who either give a lot of positive feedback on other people's photos, or people who just post a TON in general and have a lot of built up rapport with lots of other posters. And I actually think that's fair - those people are putting effort in to encourage other people, so I think it's good that it tends to come back around to them.
> 
> Sure it's a bummer when no one comments on your photo, but there are lots of reasons for it that have nothing to do with whether you're hot or not. Dimensions can seem like there's a cliquey in-crowd at times, but even tho it's sometimes easier said than done: don't let a group of online strangers determine how you feel about yourself. And if you need to stop posting photos in order to keep from feeling bad, I hope that works for you.
> 
> Either way, I hope you feel better and rock what you got (in real life).




I'll second this - I've been around 100 years and if/when I post a photo I generally get maybe one or two comments if that. But I also realize that although I'm here tons and doing tons, it's all behind the scenes. Burning out on that keeps me from just being around posting and chatting with people. The "regulars" now have no clue who I am except that mod who pissed on their parade. 

Em, I just want to say that I saw your photos, and I actually really liked them. I should have articulated that in some way - so please don't feel that you went unnoticed. You didn't.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

IC that once again, a crappy birthday and I got stood up..once again - on my birthday. I feel like Bill Murray in "Groundhog Day" but like Birthday Groundhog Day" if that makes any sense lol


----------



## Gingembre

AnnMarie said:


> Em, I just want to say that I saw your photos, and I actually really liked them. I should have articulated that in some way - so please don't feel that you went unnoticed.



Me too  I'm sorry.


----------



## ConnieLynn

PunkyGurly74 said:


> IC that once again, a crappy birthday and I got stood up..once again - on my birthday. I feel like Bill Murray in "Groundhog Day" but like Birthday Groundhog Day" if that makes any sense lol



I feel you. I completely hate birthdays. I have absolutely no expectations of them being fun anymore.


----------



## ConnieLynn

IC that I am annoyed at myself. 

Was chatting online with a guy last night who actually lives in my general area and presented himself as an admirer of fat chicks. Well into the pleasant conversation he told me he was 5'9 195. I replied back that I'm 5'4 and have over a hundred pounds on him and the conversation came to a dead stop. 

He tried to recover gracefully, but the rest of the conversation was stilted. 

Another case of 'looking for fat, but not THAT fat'. I'm annoyed because I usually declare the degree of my fatness upfront to avoid crap such as this. Got sucked into being hopeful.


----------



## WVMountainrear

ConnieLynn said:


> IC that I am annoyed at myself.
> 
> Was chatting online with a guy last night who actually lives in my general area and presented himself as an admirer of fat chicks. Well into the pleasant conversation he told me he was 5'9 195. I replied back that I'm 5'4 and have over a hundred pounds on him and the conversation came to a dead stop.
> 
> He tried to recover gracefully, but the rest of the conversation was stilted.
> 
> Another case of 'looking for fat, but not THAT fat'. I'm annoyed because I usually declare the degree of my fatness upfront to avoid crap such as this. Got sucked into being hopeful.



This is interesting to me in part because in my experience when people meet me in person and actually see me, they tend to underestimate my weight. (At least in the conversations about my weight I've had with people I know.) Numbers aren't necessarily a good gauge of what someone looks like. 300lbs looks different on different bodies. Not to mention, 300lbs sounds like a lot...and a lot of average people hear 300lbs and picture someone the size of an SUV who can't get out of their house not realizing that a lot of the people around them easily weigh 300lbs. I've never been a fan of exchanging stats like that not knowing how good the other person's point of reference is. I'm sorry you got your hopes up only to be disappointed.


----------



## ConnieLynn

lovelylady78 said:


> This is interesting to me in part because in my experience when people meet me in person and actually see me, they tend to underestimate my weight. (At least in the conversations about my weight I've had with people I know.) Numbers aren't necessarily a good gauge of what someone looks like. 300lbs looks different on different bodies. Not to mention, 300lbs sounds like a lot...and a lot of average people hear 300lbs and picture someone the size of an SUV who can't get out of their house not realizing that a lot of the people around them easily weigh 300lbs. I've never been a fan of exchanging stats like that not knowing how good the other person's point of reference is. I'm sorry you got your hopes up only to be disappointed.



Thank you. This actually made me rethink things. I chatted with him again tonight just to have the opportunity to discuss this with him. Showed him a couple of photos and told him that's what 5'4 300+ looks like, so the next time someone tells him their stats, he won't be shocked into silence. Of course in all this open and honest conversation, it turned out he's married :doh:


----------



## crayola box

So I wasn't sure where to stick this, or if we have an appropriate thread, so here will do for now...

IC I used my Dims lens in evaluating the way I was approached by a guy today:

I was with my mother at a department store for about an hour, and after we left we were walking across the parking lot to the car, when someone taps me on the shoulder. I turn around and some guy says, "What's your name?" I thought perhaps he recognized me from somewhere and asked if I knew him. He said no and asked my name again. I told him my first name and he hands me a piece of paper and leaves. The paper had his name and number on it.

My first thought was wtf, but then I thought of the numerous threads here where men have said it's hard approaching fat women either because they are shy or the woman think it's a prank etc. So b/c of that part of me was like well maybe for him this was an act of bravery...having followed me to the parking lot and everything...

I still threw the number away concluding that shy, young, awkward, FA, or not, this was a ridiculous pick up attempt. Why would I call someone who didn't even introduce himself, I mean he was gone so fast I can barely tell you what he looked like. It just felt juvenile, obviously he had seen me at the store and had time to write his info down, why not just say hi... It just came off weird, about as abrupt as being approached by a mugger or recruiting Jehova's Witness.

Anyway IC I am sitting here wondering if he is at home actually waiting on a call, and if he's ever had success with this method.


----------



## LovelyLiz

ConnieLynn said:


> Thank you. This actually made me rethink things. I chatted with him again tonight just to have the opportunity to discuss this with him. Showed him a couple of photos and told him that's what 5'4 300+ looks like, so the next time someone tells him their stats, he won't be shocked into silence. Of course in all this open and honest conversation, it turned out he's married :doh:



Dang, after his mis-step in the chat yesterday you were extremely gracious to have continued to talk to him today - and to try to educate him to spare the next fat woman from a similar bad experience! Then to turn out he's married? Sheesh. What a winner. Hope the next chat goes better.


----------



## Jes

ConnieLynn said:


> Of course in all this open and honest conversation, it turned out he's married :doh:



oh jesus.I wish I could tell you how much I hate 'that guy.' In the past, since I'm not much of a picture-sharer (so they don't necessarily know what I look like), I like to scare them by saying, Yes, I know, Greg--why do you think Im talking to you? I figured out it was you. I'm [made up generic name] and I work with your wife. She's going to love hearing about this. Good luck! And then I log off.

haha. 

Anyway, I was going to say that same as the poster before me. People are bad at gauging weight. I remember reading a review of the actor who played Gilbert Grape's mom (in the movie of the same name, which I love) and it said she was 300 lbs. Are you kidding me? 

Still, anyone who knows someone is fat and wigs at the actual pound total is ridiculous and a child.

What did it matter to him anyway? It's not like he was free to come and wine and dine you. Why such histrionics when he's got a wife to go home to. You could've been a Yetti or a robot or a dude--he was just lucky to have a private chat with someone other than his 'ball and chain.'


----------



## ConnieLynn

Thank you ladies You know I've been around long enough and put myself out there enough that I shouldn't be surprised, but I still am at times.

I think I'll get one of my big guy friends to loan me a photo so I can have the last laugh by telling them I'm really a guy


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC that I have feeling s for someone I met in Vegas last year. I saw him again this year and well... I won't do anything about it because he is the wrong person for me.

I did meet a new guy this year that I am totally crushing on. Sadly, I didn't meet him until later in the week.


----------



## Kibeth

I confess I'm with a guy because he's comfortable..but its time I branch out and leave him and its _scary_. :/


----------



## Deacone

I'm not sure if this is a confession or not.

But.

I was making my videos for clips4sale. And I was going to do a special trampling video.

And whilst in mid-step upon my boyfriend...I fell off and twisted my ankle.

And now it hurts. PROFUSELY :<


----------



## duraznos

i confess that i had a dream about my friend's boyfriend (not like a sex dream exactly... in the dream we were like IN LOVE and having an affair behind her back) and now it's super awkward with him. at least in my mind it is.


----------



## Jes

Deacone said:


> I'm not sure if this is a confession or not.
> 
> But.
> 
> I was making my videos for clips4sale. And I was going to do a special trampling video.
> 
> And whilst in mid-step upon my boyfriend...I fell off and twisted my ankle.
> 
> And now it hurts. PROFUSELY :<



keep the footage; it's gotta be a bankable fetish for SOMEONE! (especially if it swelled up)

hope you feel better.


----------



## idontspeakespn

IC that I would seriously turn gay for Aishwarya Rai, if she would have me. 

She's so freaking beautiful she's not even human. Like the Gods have just lent us their favorite daughter for a 100 years so we have something tangible to worship. 







*sigh*


----------



## ConnieLynn

idontspeakespn said:


> IC that I would seriously turn gay for Aishwarya Rai, if she would have me.
> 
> She's so freaking beautiful she's not even human. Like the Gods have just lent us their favorite daughter for a 100 years so we have something tangible to worship. *sigh*



IC that I am a hateful wench It gives me a wee bit of pleasure to see that part of her dress is flipped, taking away from total perfection.


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC that sometimes turnstiles make me feel depressed.


----------



## LovelyLiz

mcbeth said:


> IC that sometimes turnstiles make me feel depressed.



Okay, since it's too late to edit, I'll just say that the depressed reaction is probably from already being kind of weary and worn down from unrelated things. And I will also say that the humorous and bold unapologetic way I've read many of you women describe how you address situations of "fit" like this is inspiring to me.


----------



## Theatrmuse/Kara

I confess that I am just not feeling it today.............whatever IT is.


----------



## aocutiepi

duraznos said:


> i confess that i had a dream about my friend's boyfriend (not like a sex dream exactly... in the dream we were like IN LOVE and having an affair behind her back) and now it's super awkward with him. at least in my mind it is.



IC I had a dream like that... about the brother-in-law I HATE. Super duper awkward. Hope your mind will let you back to normalcy soon!



idontspeakespn said:


> IC that I would seriously turn gay for Aishwarya Rai, if she would have me.
> 
> She's so freaking beautiful she's not even human. Like the Gods have just lent us their favorite daughter for a 100 years so we have something tangible to worship.
> 
> *sigh*




I would turn gay for her too. She is so incredibly beautiful. Those eyes.


----------



## CastingPearls

IC I had a really bad anxiety attack last night and couldn't catch my breath for a while. And they're occurring with more frequency.


----------



## LovelyLiz

CastingPearls said:


> IC I had a really bad anxiety attack last night and couldn't catch my breath for a while. And they're occurring with more frequency.



 I am really sorry to hear that, CP. Those are really the worst. What do you do when they happen? 

(((HUGS)))) Hope they decrease, and there is more peace.


----------



## CastingPearls

mcbeth said:


> I am really sorry to hear that, CP. Those are really the worst. What do you do when they happen?
> 
> (((HUGS)))) Hope they decrease, and there is more peace.


I take a Xanax and do deep breathing exercises (once I can actually catch my breath) I also do something called 'grounding' which is to place my hand on a solid object and concentrate solely on how it feels. It enables me to step outside of being emotionally overwhelmed...it's a distraction but it works. I don't have time to wallow but panic attacks tend to sneak up on me. Yesterday's was actually building up so I was able to combat it effectively.

Thank you, McBeth. Me too and me too. Hugs.


----------



## luscious_lulu

(((hugs)))


----------



## mossystate

More and more I am getting beyond upset when I see someone say they are gaining weight for someone else, and especially when they add anything about the someone else leaving them/getting sad/hurt/mad if they don't. Not just upset...I want the people who manipulate like that to hurt.  It's not marshmallow cream.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Some asshole keeps asking me questions about squashing/sitting on guys on form spring. First couple Of times my responses were polite, but clear that I would not provide answers to the question. The last time I just told them to fuck off. I wonder if they will get the hint...


----------



## Blackjack

luscious_lulu said:


> Some asshole keeps asking me questions about squashing/sitting on guys on form spring. First couple Of times my responses were polite, but clear that I would not provide answers to the question. The last time I just told them to fuck off. I wonder if they will get the hint...



That'd probably be the same guy who does that to _every _fat woman on there.


----------



## violetviolets

CarlaSixx said:


> My mother is really not helping me with my online shopping addiction. She's telling me which wigs to buy, lol. At a time when I want to get some, this is really not helping when I should actually be SAVING my money instead of spending it all.



My online shopping addiction stems from my mother...


----------



## luscious_lulu

Blackjack said:


> That'd probably be the same guy who does that to _every _fat woman on there.



So he's not going to get the hint... Little douchebag...


----------



## hrd

I'm completely geeked that my nose clip and swim goggle should be here by tomorrow. Score one for Amazon gift certificates. =)


----------



## mossystate

Thank goodness for good and decent people.


----------



## Miss Vickie

CastingPearls said:


> IC I had a really bad anxiety attack last night and couldn't catch my breath for a while. And they're occurring with more frequency.



Oh honey, how awful. It sounds like you have good coping mechanisms to use, and an emergency-type med. Have they considered or tried using a medication you can take regularly to calm your nerves? Or do you think this is a short term thing that you think you'll get over?

Either way, you have my sympathy. I've so been there. I have lots of great tools for coping -- when I have enough "space" between myself and my feelings to do them. The medication helps me have that space to use meditation, cognitive therapy tools, and the like to talk myself down.



mossystate said:


> More and more I am getting beyond upset when I see someone say they are gaining weight for someone else, and especially when they add anything about the someone else leaving them/getting sad/hurt/mad if they don't. Not just upset...I want the people who manipulate like that to hurt.  It's not marshmallow cream.



I know what you mean. Gain, lose, boob job, nose job, dick job (hey, it could happen!) -- anyone who wants you to change your appearance for them doesn't truly love YOU. They love your packaging. Packaging is nice, but nobody's package stays the same, and loving the person is key.


My confession?

I'm having a hard time in my relationships right now. I had a friend blow into town at the last minute while I was having a bad flare up of my Sarcoid; we had a nice dinner one night and made plans to have a reunion with some other friends later in the week. Then she made last minute (literally 25 minutes before we were supposed to meet) changes to our plan, changing our get together time from 7:30 to two hours later. She knew I was having a Sarcoid flare up and was completely unsympathetic to my pain and shortness of breath; when I mentioned it, it didn't even warrant any recognition. It took me two hours to get ready for our outing and I was barely able to go at all but really wanted to see her; there was no way I could stay up that late since I was already pushing it. So what did this person -- a nurse -- do? Berated me for not being able to go. Nice, huh?

I just seem to have trouble communicating in general, and am putting my foot in my mouth all the damn time. Oh and my dog has bladder stones and has to have surgery.

Blah.


----------



## mossystate

" She knew I was having a Sarcoid flare up and was completely unsympathetic to my pain and shortness of breath; when I mentioned it, it didn't even warrant any recognition. "

I hope you are not saying this is a situation where you think you are having problems communicating?! That was horrible of her. So sorry you were treated that way...and when you are in pain. A profession where a person should know better, but it doesn't always work out that way. My oldest sister is a nurse, and my jaw dropped more than a few times, including a time when my Mom was fresh out of the hospital after being diagnosed with CHF, and Dianne was tearing around my Mom's house, upset because she had forgotten to pack the right kind of socks to go jogging. My Mom, in bed and short of breath and wiped out ( I was sleeping on her floor while I stayed there, so I could be very near, up like a prairie dog anytime I heard her move ), asking my sister if she could use any of her socks....trying to help, while my sister was oblivious except to her own needs and desires. It just doesn't make any kind of sense at times, with some. I hope you protect yourself the best you can from people like this. I know it sucks since she is a ' friend '.  I would have so brought over any delicious anything you wanted...and served it to you, even while you told me to stop.  Feel better...in every way.


----------



## cheachea

I confess that this is my first time posting on here after lurking pretty hard on the forum for the past couple of days... I'm a little nervous about it...


----------



## luscious_lulu

cheachea said:


> I confess that this is my first time posting on here after lurking pretty hard on the forum for the past couple of days... I'm a little nervous about it...



Welcome Cheachea!


----------



## Miss Vickie

mossystate said:


> I hope you are not saying this is a situation where you think you are having problems communicating?!



Nah, in that case I was pretty clear. She just steamrolled over me with her wants. It sucked. I had a hint of it when I visited her a few years back, that she'd changed since nursing school but... wow. We have little in common now. I was shocked and hurt by her total lack of care.

Your sister sounds like her twin. Can you believe how insensitively people can act? It's appalling, especially from nurses. It makes me wonder why they went into the profession if not to help people. My problem is turning the nursing thing "off" and stopping the over-nurture thing, since it's exhausting. That must have been really hard for you to watch.  I'm sorry. 



> I know it sucks since she is a ' friend '.  I would have so brought over any delicious anything you wanted...and served it to you, even while you told me to stop.  Feel better...in every way.



Thanks, honey. I guess you learn, when you go through a tough time, who your true friends are. People who have never met me have expressed far more concern than someone who's been my close friend for a decade. And you're welcome to feed me any time -- but we might start rumors.  It'd be worth it, though. :wubu:



cheachea said:


> I confess that this is my first time posting on here after lurking pretty hard on the forum for the past couple of days... I'm a little nervous about it...



Post away, Cheachea! We're a great group here, and very little bark and bite. This is a good place to start. Did you post up top to tell us about yourself? And welcome!


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Miss Vickie said:


> My confession?
> 
> I'm having a hard time in my relationships right now.....
> 
> I just seem to have trouble communicating in general, and am putting my foot in my mouth all the damn time. Oh and my dog has bladder stones and has to have surgery.
> 
> Blah.



I'm with Mossy. Your friend, who is aware of your limitations due to your illness was thoughtless and mean to you...it was not your fault. She was wrong - her actions perhaps unintentional...but, still hurtful nonetheless.

And I am sorry for your poor doggie


----------



## CastingPearls

Miss Vickie said:


> Oh honey, how awful. It sounds like you have good coping mechanisms to use, and an emergency-type med. Have they considered or tried using a medication you can take regularly to calm your nerves? Or do you think this is a short term thing that you think you'll get over?
> 
> Either way, you have my sympathy. I've so been there. I have lots of great tools for coping -- when I have enough "space" between myself and my feelings to do them. The medication helps me have that space to use meditation, cognitive therapy tools, and the like to talk myself down.
> 
> I do have great coping mechs, professionals to talk with, family who is trying their best to be supportive, amazing friends online and 'in-the-flesh' and I do have something to take the edge off but I don't want to take anything more than what I'm taking for anxiety although my GP has said to just say the word when I feel I need it. It's because of temporary stress and upheaval and I know it will end. I know it will. Thanks for your kind words.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> My confession?
> 
> I'm having a hard time in my relationships right now. I had a friend blow into town at the last minute while I was having a bad flare up of my Sarcoid; we had a nice dinner one night and made plans to have a reunion with some other friends later in the week. Then she made last minute (literally 25 minutes before we were supposed to meet) changes to our plan, changing our get together time from 7:30 to two hours later. She knew I was having a Sarcoid flare up and was completely unsympathetic to my pain and shortness of breath; when I mentioned it, it didn't even warrant any recognition. It took me two hours to get ready for our outing and I was barely able to go at all but really wanted to see her; there was no way I could stay up that late since I was already pushing it. So what did this person -- a nurse -- do? Berated me for not being able to go. Nice, huh?
> 
> I just seem to have trouble communicating in general, and am putting my foot in my mouth all the damn time. Oh and my dog has bladder stones and has to have surgery.
> 
> Blah.



I'm so sorry your friend was so thoughtless. I wonder myself when people KNOW what's going on why they're so selfish. Also, have been thinking positive thoughts about your doggy. 



luscious_lulu said:


> Welcome Cheachea!



Yes Welcome Cheachea! You'll figure your way around here in no time.


----------



## thatgirl08

IC that I'm really sick of "tough love." I'm sick of everything in my life being boiled down to my lack of willpower, my lack of self control, my lack of motivation, my lack of desire. I try everyday to push myself but it never seems to be enough. I am so sick of being made to feel like I have some major character flaw.. like I'm a deadbeat, like I'm skimming by in life. And that's just not how I see it. I know I'm not perfect but I swear I'm trying.


----------



## cheachea

Thanks for the warm welcome y'all! I'm excited to get into the swing of things


----------



## penguin

IC that while I'm kinda pleased the booty call guy from earlier in the year has popped his head back up, I've decided not to start up with him again. He didn't want anything more before, while I did, so I ended it. Now, four months later, he wants to keep the booty calls going. I was on the fence about it when he got back in contact with me, but when he asked to hook up last Friday night, on Friday night, after not hearing from him for a month, I decided not to. I told him I didn't think it was a good idea to start up again, and he's sent me a couple of messages hoping I'll change my mind.

Nope, not happening. I have no problems with casual sex and booty calls, but I have a problem with being treated with a lack of respect. There is far more to me than just my ass, after all. He had his chance for more, and he passed. So, I'm going to pass on this. It was some good sex, though.


----------



## ConnieLynn

IC that I just got out of the shower and really, really don't want to go to work, but of course I will. I need a vacation from being so damn dependable and responsible.


----------



## Theatrmuse/Kara

Oh boy, do I HEAR you on that.


----------



## HottiMegan

I'm having major pms woes. I normally don't suffer but as i'm getting older pms is really getting worse. I hate being so sensitive to hormones!


----------



## hrd

This is going to be a particularly difficult month, and I'll be glad once it's over.


----------



## 1love_emily

I confess that I'm not hungry for food. All I'm hungry for is a good book and some time to be with my boyfriend.


----------



## Gingembre

IC I often forget about this subforum. Must visit more often.


----------



## Miss Vickie

PunkyGurly74 said:


> I'm with Mossy. Your friend, who is aware of your limitations due to your illness was thoughtless and mean to you...it was not your fault. She was wrong - her actions perhaps unintentional...but, still hurtful nonetheless.
> 
> And I am sorry for your poor doggie



Thanks, Punky. I think that either she's changed or I have but her insensitivity is kind of jarring. So I'm not going to do anything dramatic, but rather just keep her at a distance. I just don't have time in my life for people like that.

And thanks about Chloe. I talked to my regular vet and she concurs that she needs surgery sometime in the next two weeks. Fortunately, she (Chloe, not the vet) seems to be feeling okay for now. The antibiotics seem to be helping but they won't get rid of the stones.



CastingPearls said:


> I'm so sorry your friend was so thoughtless. I wonder myself when people KNOW what's going on why they're so selfish. Also, have been thinking positive thoughts about your doggy.



Thanks, CP! She's doing much better, and is back to her old self, mostly. But those stones, they gotta come out. 



thatgirl08 said:


> IC that I'm really sick of "tough love." I'm sick of everything in my life being boiled down to my lack of willpower, my lack of self control, my lack of motivation, my lack of desire. I try everyday to push myself but it never seems to be enough. I am so sick of being made to feel like I have some major character flaw.. like I'm a deadbeat, like I'm skimming by in life. And that's just not how I see it. I know I'm not perfect but I swear I'm trying.



I'm sorry, ThatGirl. I confess that I'm hard on my daughter, because I feel like she's lacking motivation so maybe your post was important for me to hear. Each person's path is so different, what each person is capable as they go through life is wildly different. All we can ask of anyone is that they try their best. It's hard to get your stride, sometimes, but you'll get it. Just keep trying. 



penguin said:


> Nope, not happening. I have no problems with casual sex and booty calls, but I have a problem with being treated with a lack of respect. There is far more to me than just my ass, after all. He had his chance for more, and he passed. So, I'm going to pass on this. It was some good sex, though.



I think that sounds reasonable. Getting in touch at the last minute, assuming you're available, is pretty disrespectful. Even booty calls need respect! (I said this tongue in cheek but I absolutely believe it's true, and far too women will accept disrespectful behavior).



HottiMegan said:


> I'm having major pms woes. I normally don't suffer but as i'm getting older pms is really getting worse. I hate being so sensitive to hormones!



I hear ya. There are some natural remedies I have in a book full of referenced sources. Let me know if you want me to look it up, ok?


----------



## 1love_emily

I confess that I think about weddings waaaaaaay too much for an average 18 year old


----------



## PhiloGirl

IC that the mere mention of the word "wedding" makes me break out in a cold sweat, and with hormones surging, ply through my closet in desperation screaming "What the hell am I going to wear _this_ time? How many single cousins do I have left? Oh, the humanity!"

I also confess that I may be exaggerating just a bit.


----------



## ConnieLynn

IC that it is after midnight and I'm bored. I should be out getting into trouble.


----------



## Lamia

I confess I've never been to a gyno. I've made a doctor's appointment for a checkup. Cholesterol, blood sugar, thyroid etc. Next step is to make an appointment with the lady parts dr. Going to do it out of town though. I live in a small town and I am sure it would be all over town about my problems.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Lamia said:


> I confess I've never been to a gyno. I've made a doctor's appointment for a checkup. Cholesterol, blood sugar, thyroid etc. Next step is to make an appointment with the lady parts dr. Going to do it out of town though. I live in a small town and I am sure it would be all over town about my problems.



I hope the appointment goes well - and props to you for doing that. But can I just say that it totally SUCKS that your doctors/nurses/whoever disregard all the medical privacy laws and you can't just go to they gyno in town? That's really messed up. But I hope the person you end up with is a great doctor for you.


----------



## Sweet Tooth

IC some of the dearest people in my life, past and present, have come into my world through Dimensions [and, before that, other size acceptance places]. Some of them are, fortunately, close enough to spend time with in person. Some are regretfully too far away right now for that sort of thing. But I can't imagine my life today without a single one of them. :wubu: guys!


----------



## mossystate

choose

a

fat

woman

or

keep

your

mouth

shut


----------



## vardon_grip

Well

said 

View attachment Screen shot 2011-08-08 at 11.29.46 AM.jpg


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I kinda wish all BHM clothes were cut in the standard way, rather than the typical men's cut. Usually I can buy men's clothes in one size and have it fit, cuz it's kinda boxy. But when it's cut in the inverse triangle way... Oye. No hope  

I bought something for Halloween (yes already) and while it fits decently over my arms and bust (though I could lose about an inch for each), the hips have absolutely no hope. Unless I wear it at my waist, but that looks weird. I need to lose like 10 inches around my hips. INSANE!

IC I also find it increasingly difficult to clothe my size in things meant for someone my age.  But I can't just magically lose weight to fit in stuff, either. So I'm feeling quite down about my size and weight right now


----------



## ConnieLynn

mossystate said:


> choose
> 
> a
> 
> fat
> 
> woman
> 
> or
> 
> keep
> 
> your
> 
> mouth
> 
> shut



There are moments when I absolutely adore you


----------



## HottiMegan

IC i got my first plug in toy.. eep! TMI? I can't wait for it to ship. It's coming from San Francisco, so it shouldn't take long.


----------



## HottiMegan

CarlaSixx said:


> IC I kinda wish all BHM clothes were cut in the standard way, rather than the typical men's cut. Usually I can buy men's clothes in one size and have it fit, cuz it's kinda boxy. But when it's cut in the inverse triangle way... Oye. No hope
> 
> I bought something for Halloween (yes already) and while it fits decently over my arms and bust (though I could lose about an inch for each), the hips have absolutely no hope. Unless I wear it at my waist, but that looks weird. I need to lose like 10 inches around my hips. INSANE!
> 
> IC I also find it increasingly difficult to clothe my size in things meant for someone my age.  But I can't just magically lose weight to fit in stuff, either. So I'm feeling quite down about my size and weight right now



Do you have sewing skills? You might be able to take the side out and insert a triangle of fabric in a way that wouldn't be too noticeable. (embarrassingly i had to do that with my graduation gown) 
I hope you find a way to make it work


----------



## LovelyLiz

HottiMegan said:


> IC i got my first plug in toy.. eep! TMI? I can't wait for it to ship. It's coming from San Francisco, so it shouldn't take long.



Sweet! What did you get? (Clearly I don't think it was TMI...I think it was NEI (not enough info!))


----------



## fatgirlflyin

HottiMegan said:


> IC i got my first plug in toy.. eep! TMI? I can't wait for it to ship. It's coming from San Francisco, so it shouldn't take long.



Did ya get the magic wand?? I had one, actually two (first one burned out)!


----------



## HottiMegan

It's called a Wand essentials 7 speed. The reviewer for Blowfish said it is just as good as the hitatchi but a higher pitch of vibration and less likely to make your hand go numb. (I prefer a higher pitch) I go by what blowfish says, they've given me some of the most fun over the years. They also knocked $10 off the price because they're moving the store


----------



## Lamia

I confess I've never owned a toy. In fact until well into my early teens I didn't know that what I did under the covers had anything to do with sex. I just thought it was something I discovered that helped me go to sleep.


----------



## leener38

I confess to being a total pervert one minute, and a total prude the next. However, I'm addicted to reading (m/m) slash in fan fiction, especially if there's food porn. LOL


----------



## HottiMegan

Lamia said:


> I confess I've never owned a toy. In fact until well into my early teens I didn't know that what I did under the covers had anything to do with sex. I just thought it was something I discovered that helped me go to sleep.



I never did ANYTHING with myself until I was married. I was so innocent and unknowing about stuff.


----------



## bettylulu

leener38 said:


> I confess to being a total pervert one minute, and a total prude the next.



OMG I am the same way. I'll be making nasty jokes, but then if someone else does it, I'm clutching my imaginary pearls. "Well, I never (except for a few minutes ago when I said something even dirtier)!"


----------



## Tania

bettylulu said:


> ...I'm clutching my imaginary pearls...



:smitten: I LOVE THIS EXPRESSION.


----------



## penguin

IC that it's completely ridiculous, but I've been looking at wedding stuff far too much lately. Window shopping ideas, not planning. I mean, I'm nowhere near getting married (apart from my daughter, who is starting to understand what marriage is and wants to marry me and love me forever, but she doesn't quite count here). I blame hormones. I'm ovulating, which usually results in the OMG BABY BABY BABY thoughts, so I guess they've changed to OMG WEDDING WEDDING WEDDING instead. Maybe my ovaries think that's a more likely event, I don't know.


----------



## bettylulu

Tania said:


> :smitten: I LOVE THIS EXPRESSION.



LOL One of my guy friends says the male version is called The I'm Comin' Elizabeth (from Sandford and Son).


----------



## Fallenangel2904

IC I day dream way too much, more then I live in reality lately probably because reality kinda sucks for me lately...blehh.


----------



## HottiMegan

WWaahh! My toy is back ordered until September!!


----------



## mszwebs

I confess that I'm sick of people telling me that it looks like I'm losing weight. I'm NOT. My jeans are modern fit and relaxed and stretch and I bought them too big because I didn't realize that they didn't sit at my waist. Basically, I need to have a way bigger booty to actually fit these jeans, and after wearing them for about 20 minutes fresh from the dryer, they literally hang off me.

SO, people think I'm losing weight.

I ALSO confess that it pisses me off that my instinctive reaction to these people, after I try once to convince them it really is just the pants, and they disagree, is "thank you."

Why should I thank them? I realize they think its a compliment, but I'm not trying to buy into the train of thought that says I have to be thin to be pretty, so it really bothers me.


----------



## crayola box

mszwebs said:


> I confess that I'm sick of people telling me that it looks like I'm losing weight. I'm NOT. My jeans are modern fit and relaxed and stretch and I bought them too big because I didn't realize that they didn't sit at my waist. Basically, I need to have a way bigger booty to actually fit these jeans, and after wearing them for about 20 minutes fresh from the dryer, they literally hang off me.
> 
> SO, people think I'm losing weight.
> 
> I ALSO confess that it pisses me off that my instinctive reaction to these people, after I try once to convince them it really is just the pants, and they disagree, is "thank you."
> 
> Why should I thank them? I realize they think its a compliment, but I'm not trying to buy into the train of thought that says I have to be thin to be pretty, so it really bothers me.



I have the same problem with a certain pair of jeans, and it always makes me wonder a) when I wear a more form fitting pair do they assume I put the "lost" weight back on over night? and b) do people really have nothing better to do then scrutinize the size of their coworkers asses?

One of the things I have picked up from Dims over the years is to never thank people when they say "you've lost weight." I treat it like what it is, an observation, not a compliment, and reply with yes, no, or a change of subject depending on the circumstance. I figure it like this: If I walk up to a former brunette who just colored her hair and tell her the new color looks great, it's a compliment, but walking up and saying "you're blond" is just stating a fact, not deserving of thanks. 

Obviously I'm not saying be rude or preachy. I know people mean well, but, for me, I feel that by thanking them I am enabling the dieting=good stereotype and condoning the appropriateness of commenting on people's weights, neither of which I want to do. Even if thank you is short for "thank you for noticing" I am much more comfortable if people would stop commenting on weight all together.


----------



## mszwebs

crayola box said:


> I have the same problem with a certain pair of jeans, and it always makes me wonder a) when I wear a more form fitting pair do they assume I put the "lost" weight back on over night? and b) do people really have nothing better to do then scrutinize the size of their coworkers asses?
> 
> One of the things I have picked up from Dims over the years is to never thank people when they say "you've lost weight." I treat it like what it is, an observation, not a compliment, and reply with yes, no, or a change of subject depending on the circumstance. I figure it like this: If I walk up to a former brunette who just colored her hair and tell her the new color looks great, it's a compliment, but walking up and saying "you're blond" is just stating a fact, not deserving of thanks.
> 
> Obviously I'm not saying be rude or preachy. I know people mean well, but, for me, I feel that by thanking them I am enabling the dieting=good stereotype and condoning the appropriateness of commenting on people's weights, neither of which I want to do. Even if thank you is short for "thank you for noticing" I am much more comfortable if people would stop commenting on weight all together.



Oh, I agree 100%. That's why I'm so pissed at myself that I keep saying "Thanks." I think that I'm usually trying to get out of the conversation for various other reasons anyway (this generally happens at work and I try to avoid being sucked into conversation with the gossipy biddies), and its just the first thing that comes out of my mouth that could possibly end the conversation.

That said, though its not intentional and there are a gazillion other things I could say...they just don't come out of my mouth in a timely manner and it frustrates the hell out of me.


----------



## Tania

bettylulu said:


> LOL One of my guy friends says the male version is called The I'm Comin' Elizabeth (from Sandford and Son).



*chest clutch* "YA HEAR THAT ELIZABETH?! I'M COMIN' TA JOIN YA, HONEY!"

I looooove Fred Sanford!!!!


----------



## PunkyGurly74

The job that I had ....I still have..the start date for Monday the 15th is not happening. Which is not acceptable to my landlord.

I am out of cash which means the job interviews I have lined up for this week I have no way of getting to.

If I don't come up with some money for rent, which I am a month and a half behind I am going to be evicted and the dogs and I are going to be homeless. I have no where to go.

And IC that I can't do this anymore and the thought of being homeless again with no income and no way of moving anywhere and losing everything makes me hmm...let's just say...not be here any longer. I surrender...


----------



## mossystate

Can't fat women also like fat men or fat women?


----------



## luscious_lulu

(((hugs)))


PunkyGurly74 said:


> The job that I had ....I still have..the start date for Monday the 15th is not happening. Which is not acceptable to my landlord.
> 
> I am out of cash which means the job interviews I have lined up for this week I have no way of getting to.
> 
> If I don't come up with some money for rent, which I am a month and a half behind I am going to be evicted and the dogs and I are going to be homeless. I have no where to go.
> 
> And IC that I can't do this anymore and the thought of being homeless again with no income and no way of moving anywhere and losing everything makes me hmm...let's just say...not be here any longer. I surrender...


----------



## Cynthia

PunkyGurly74 said:


> And IC that I can't do this anymore and the thought of being homeless again with no income and no way of moving anywhere and losing everything makes me hmm...let's just say...not be here any longer. I surrender...



PunkyGurly, I really feel for you. If you have a United Way 211 number in your area, they might be able to give you the names of emergency rent assistance sources. 



mszwebs said:


> I confess that I'm sick of people telling me that it looks like I'm losing weight. I'm NOT.
> * snip *
> Why should I thank them? I realize they think its a compliment, but I'm not trying to buy into the train of thought that says I have to be thin to be pretty, so it really bothers me.



Mszwebs, lately, I've been thinking about that, too. I decided to simply be straightforward, smile, and say, "Oh, I really hate to talk about weight."


----------



## hrd

I have to write 12,000 words by the end of the month on a completely new topic (thank you, academic publications, for taking years to be peer reviewed so that what I've been trying to write about is ironically too current), so I'm going to try to be really good and close all my 'fun' tabs. See you in a few weeks. =)


----------



## Ahimsa

*Rant*

I was shopping for a bathrobe today because my mom wanted to give me one for my birthday. But in ALL of them I looked huge because even the large ones seemed to be tailored for skinny girls with a bit more. So while most of them could fit around me they made me look all trashy and square. 

The same in every shop. I got SO frustrated, I'm a BBW but not near SSBBW and still it's impossible to find certain clothes that fit well outside the internet. Half the population is statistically overweight, why the hell does it have to be so hard to find decent clothes? Argh!


----------



## fatgirlflyin

ic that the guy I'm involved with told me yesterday that he believes I'm his soulmate. I think he's great, he makes me smile so much my face hurts, and I usually fall asleep every night texting him, but my experience with men and that word hasn't been positive and I don't want to hurt his feeling but I'm not all together comfortable with the word and not sure how to explain that without making myself sound nutty!


----------



## Jes

fatgirlflyin said:


> ic that the guy I'm involved with told me yesterday that he believes I'm his soulmate. I think he's great, he makes me smile so much my face hurts, and I usually fall asleep every night texting him, but my experience with men and that word hasn't been positive and I don't want to hurt his feeling but I'm not all together comfortable with the word and not sure how to explain that without making myself sound nutty!



(Is it ok for him to think/say it and for you to feel complimented but not say it back, or do you actually want him to tone down the rhetoric? I know we're not supposed to investigate confessions so I'm whispering this comment -- don't feel the need to answer).


----------



## fatgirlflyin

Jes said:


> (Is it ok for him to think/say it and for you to feel complimented but not say it back, or do you actually want him to tone down the rhetoric? I know we're not supposed to investigate confessions so I'm whispering this comment -- don't feel the need to answer).



I didn't think of it that way to be honest. I definitely feel complimented so I guess it wouldn't bother me if he continued to think it so long as he doesn't expect me to think it back at this point. Did that make sense?


----------



## Jes

fatgirlflyin said:


> I didn't think of it that way to be honest. I definitely feel complimented so I guess it wouldn't bother me if he continued to think it so long as he doesn't expect me to think it back at this point. Did that make sense?



Absolutely. He feels it and said it and it's good that you're letting him express himself the way he wants. But that doesn't mean you need to do the same if it's not what you feel. Plain and simple.


----------



## Tania

IC it's a really nice change of pace to date somebody who's super-upfront about stuff he feels I should or would want to know.


----------



## violetviolets

I hate my belly so much right now I feel like chopping it off...


----------



## SoCalFatGothChick

violetviolets said:


> I hate my belly so much right now I feel like chopping it off...



I actually had my belly cut off in October 2008. Not fun.


----------



## Allie Cat

IC that I need someone to hold me and play with my hair and tell me everything is going to be okay.


----------



## thatgirl08

IC that is makes me incredibly sad to see so many of the amazing women in my life stuck in relationships with assholes.. guys with no cars, no jobs, guys who are married, guys who waste all their money on drugs or just use them for sex. It makes me sad that they're all so afraid of being alone that they will put up with literally ANYTHING to avoid it.


----------



## spiritangel

IC I am super nervous about meeting a certain someone, the whole being nakey for the first time and all the rest of that stuff is erm a tad scary someday's


----------



## Tania

spiritangel said:


> the whole being nakey for the first time...is erm a tad scary someday's



Girl, that's always scary for me! I'm like, eekno!


----------



## bonified

thatgirl08 said:


> IC that is makes me incredibly sad to see so many of the amazing women in my life stuck in relationships with assholes.. guys with no cars, no jobs, guys who are married, guys who waste all their money on drugs or just use them for sex. It makes me sad that they're all so afraid of being alone that they will put up with literally ANYTHING to avoid it.



Confession due to reading this & apologies if ive read it wrong, but more than saddens me that a lot of people think a car & a job defines someones worthyness.


----------



## thatgirl08

bonified said:


> Confession due to reading this & apologies if ive read it wrong, but more than saddens me that a lot of people think a car & a job defines someones worthyness.



I'm sorry that you find that sad or offensive. Independence, including financial, is a pretty important characteristic in a potential partner for me. I know the economy is bad, and that making your way in the world is difficult, but I also know a lot of people who don't even attempt to do these things.. people who sit on their butt all day and let other people pay their way. 

As a 20 year old who works full time, goes to school full time, lives on her own and is fully responsible for all of her bills, I find it frankly irritating to deal with people who "can't" do these things but actually just won't.

I'm working hard to sustain myself now and create a future for myself and I guess I just couldn't be with someone who wasn't interested in at least partially doing the same. The no job/car comment was specifically directed at my best friend/roommates boyfriend who is in the same exact situation as me and is dating someone who got fired from a fast food joint 3 months ago and hasn't applied anywhere new yet.. who relies on her to pay for dates and drive him around.. and who, despite all that, has the audacity to make fun of the car I drive because its a Dodge.


----------



## mossystate

I just needed to see something different.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

IC I'm losing weight to fit into a dress from Pinup Girl (and maybe so all my cute clothes from two sizes ago will fit again).


----------



## Tania

I totally get what you mean, R. These circumstances are more properly considered *symptoms* of major personal flaws that make a person questionable dating material, not huge issues in and of themselves. If a person is a hard worker yet got laid off and had his car repossessed, you wouldn't be calling him a loser; you'd say he was unlucky and dealing with a rough patch. 

Incidentally, it's ironic and hilarious that someone who needs wheels yet can't afford a car is making fun of ANY functioning vehicle. No matter how you chop this one up, your car is still lightyears better than his. 

And this is a secondary gripe, but it's really fucking stupid when people who don't know jack about cars talk shit about a perfectly fine make or model.


----------



## MisticalMisty

To the makers of Midol extra-super-duper strength,

I'm already irritable, angry and feel like the hulk. Stop making your pills so hard to open. K?

GRRR


----------



## CarlaSixx

IC I didn't think my Gryffindor track jacket would ever fit me... then I took a chance and tried to zip it up.

It fit.

Very snug, but it zipped and after a minute, I didn't even notice that it was snug at all  So even though I thought I'd need to lose like 20 lbs by Halloween, looks more like 10lbs would suffice to make it a comfortable fit compared to just fitting  But maybe those 10lbs will do a lot more than just help me fit more into this jacket **crosses fingers**


----------



## ConnieLynn

IC that my order from Amazon arrived today -- new books and sex toys! Not sure which excites me more


----------



## thatgirl08

Tania said:


> I totally get what you mean, R. These circumstances are more properly considered *symptoms* of major personal flaws that make a person questionable dating material, not huge issues in and of themselves. If a person is a hard worker yet got laid off and had his car repossessed, you wouldn't be calling him a loser; you'd say he was unlucky and dealing with a rough patch.
> 
> Incidentally, it's ironic and hilarious that someone who needs wheels yet can't afford a car is making fun of ANY functioning vehicle. No matter how you chop this one up, your car is still lightyears better than his.
> 
> And this is a secondary gripe, but it's really fucking stupid when people who don't know jack about cars talk shit about a perfectly fine make or model.



Exactly! Symptoms is a good way to put it.


----------



## spiritangel

IC that for everysingle thing I cross off my to do list two or three more seem to appear


----------



## penguin

IC that I'm feeling creeped out.


----------



## Lamia

I confess I am going to have my first pap smear on Wednesday. I am surprised that I am not all the nervous currently, but I am good at hiding emotions from myself until the event is upon me and then I have a full blown panic attack. YAY!!! 

I am 41 years old and my mom, grandma and aunt have all had breast cancer. So I am having a mammogram too, but then I keep reading things that some doctors advocate waiting until you're in your 50s so I am conflicted about whether or not to have it or not.


----------



## TexasTrouble

IC that I've been mouthing "f--- you" behind the back of one of my coworkers today. At the last minute I had to change classrooms, which meant I had to trek halfway across campus just to run back to my original building and teach a whole other class back-to-back. It's really not the end of the world, but I like the first day to go smoothly and set a good tone for the semester (I'm weirdly superstitious that way). It wasn't my coworker's fault the rooms got fixed but he's this IT guy/student in my department who seems to think that because we're the same age that he's my "equal" at work, if not "superior." So he made a big deal about "disappointing" me today. Usually, I laugh about it, but there was a brief moment today when I considered tying his testicles behind his neck. I wonder if he picked up on that...


----------



## Jes

Lamia said:


> I am 41 years old and my mom, grandma and aunt have all had breast cancer. So I am having a mammogram too, but then I keep reading things that some doctors advocate waiting until you're in your 50s so I am conflicted about whether or not to have it or not.



Is it free or cheap? Let me break all the rules and tough love it up in here for a sec: anyone with a mother, grandmother and aunt with breast cancer who is debating NOT going for a 5 min. test is being a cuckoo-cuckoo-cuckoobird. 

I'd rather have you annoyed at my cheek than not get the test, miss lady!


----------



## Miss Vickie

Lamia said:


> I confess I am going to have my first pap smear on Wednesday. I am surprised that I am not all the nervous currently, but I am good at hiding emotions from myself until the event is upon me and then I have a full blown panic attack. YAY!!!



Hang in there, darlin'. It's really not so bad. Just think of England, or something. As annoying as it is, it's better to be reassured that you're okay, then find out something is underway that requires treatment. This way you'll hopefully get good news, and then next year it'll be much less of a big deal. 

If I may offer one piece of advice, as the person behind the speculum? Think "froggie" when it comes to opening your legs and try to relax against the comfy table. It'll make it go much easier. 



> I am 41 years old and my mom, grandma and aunt have all had breast cancer. So I am having a mammogram too, but then I keep reading things that some doctors advocate waiting until you're in your 50s so I am conflicted about whether or not to have it or not.



You need to have it done. Routine start is 40, and since you have a family history, they'll definitely want a baseline on you. And again, for most of us it's not as bad as some of the horror stories. I just allow myself a big giggle at how my breasts look like pancakes when squeezed out between the plastic paddles.  I think the technology is better so they can get away with less pressure. 

Good luck and be sure to report back to us about how it went.


----------



## Tania

My gyn made me get my baseline mammogram at 35, and I don't have a family history of breast cancer. :/


----------



## lozonloz

IC that I really wish I was spending 3 out of the next 4 weekends away and with friends rather than having to spend them at home. Home sucks. Its overcrowded and theres nothing to do and I freaking hate it.

I'm trying to feel OK about the fact that my friends dad doesnt really want me to visit cos I go there often, but honestly, the last time would have been 3 weeks ago and I badly need to be somewhere else. Gr.


----------



## Lovelyone

Lamia said:


> I confess I am going to have my first pap smear on Wednesday. I am surprised that I am not all the nervous currently, but I am good at hiding emotions from myself until the event is upon me and then I have a full blown panic attack. YAY!!!
> 
> I am 41 years old and my mom, grandma and aunt have all had breast cancer. So I am having a mammogram too, but then I keep reading things that some doctors advocate waiting until you're in your 50s so I am conflicted about whether or not to have it or not.


Please have the test as soon as possible because you never know what can happen from day to day. Breast cancer does not run in our family but my sister whom is soon to be 43 found out 3 months ago that she's got stage 3 hormonal breast cancer. Right now she's in her second set of radiation treatments and although she's lost all her hair and the meds make her weak, she is in good spirits and her tumor is shrinking enough so they can do a mastectomy. I urge you to have the test as early detection is the utmost important to a good treatment.


----------



## mossystate

Had a dream of only the most masculine of men. Men with broad shoulders, narrow-hipped, tall and just right in the muscle department...oh, and developed chests. Not that men who are not don't have a tiny whiff of being masculine...but these men were just so much more masculine and not shaped like boys, or even young girls. :eat2: :eat1:


----------



## Miss Vickie

Tania said:


> My gyn made me get my baseline mammogram at 35, and I don't have a family history of breast cancer. :/



Yep. Often they do their own thing and don't always practice according to the guidelines but their comfort level. Some of the new guidelines have suggested waiting until 50 which I think is too late.

Do you have one every year, then? Or wait until you're 40 to start yearly?

I think it's not a bad idea to have an early baseline to catch those "surprise" cancers, but it's not what's considered "evidence based practice" which technically we're supposed to be held to because often that's what insurance companies use to justify paying (or refusing to pay) for procedures.


----------



## hrd

It's been a mad couple of weeks, but I made my word count and deadline. Yay!


----------



## Tania

Miss Vickie said:


> Yep. Often they do their own thing and don't always practice according to the guidelines but their comfort level. Some of the new guidelines have suggested waiting until 50 which I think is too late.
> 
> Do you have one every year, then? Or wait until you're 40 to start yearly?
> 
> I think it's not a bad idea to have an early baseline to catch those "surprise" cancers, but it's not what's considered "evidence based practice" which technically we're supposed to be held to because often that's what insurance companies use to justify paying (or refusing to pay) for procedures.



I just got that baseline in January; I assume she wants to do every other year for right now.


----------



## spiritangel

IC I am confused and cant stop the tears


----------



## LovelyLiz

spiritangel said:


> IC I am confused and cant stop the tears



 Sorry to hear that, spiritangel. What's going on? You looked so happy in those pics you posted earlier. I'm sorry things are rough for you right now.


----------



## olwen

spiritangel said:


> IC I am confused and cant stop the tears



 Whatever it is, I'm sure you'll get it sorted out soon.


----------



## hrd

I've just confirmed an interview for a job I'd very much like to land, and while I'm glad to have a week to prepare, I now also have a week to get anxious about it all.


----------



## Jes

hrd said:


> I've just confirmed an interview for a job I'd very much like to land, and while I'm glad to have a week to prepare, I now also have a week to get anxious about it all.



You are definitely in the better position of the 2! Good luck.


----------



## hrd

Jes said:


> You are definitely in the better position of the 2! Good luck.



Thank you!


----------



## Tracyarts

I went to the new place I found to do water exercise this morning and realized just how awful the layout of the facility is. In order to get from the locker room to the pool, you have to walk all the way through the middle of the main exercise area. Why this didn't snap to me when I took my tour and signed up, I have no clue. But it's the only facility with an indoor pool within a reasonable distance from my house, so it's this or nothing. The place I used to go to for years had a different setup, you could go straight from the locker room into the aquatic area, so that's what I was expecting to happen. I didn't bring a robe, just a towel that doesn't quite go all the way around me. So, it took a few minutes in the locker room to psych myself up enough to make the walk to the pool. Tomorrow morning, it'll be okay, but this morning I was not amused.

Tracy


----------



## bettylulu

Something strange is happening. I thought I was just being nuts, but it seemed like I was getting a lot of male attention lately. To the point that I either thought I had something wrong with my face or was having a major wardrobe malfunction or was just reading into things. Then the other day, my husband and I went to the grocery store and he noticed it, too.

I have done nothing different. I didn't cut my hair, lose weight, change my make up or perfume, and I'm wearing the same clothes as I always have. In class today we had to work in small groups (put together by our teacher) and he also picked a group leader (who is not me). Any time anyone in our group would ask him a question or if he came over to talk to our group, he would look at me 90% of the time while talking to us. It was noticeable even to the group leader (another woman) who is very pretty and close to my age.

I was talking to my DH about it and I blurted out, "I've got the Kavorka!" (from Seinfeld) and we started cracking up. I'm sure it won't last, but it's really strange and out of the blue.


----------



## ThatFatGirl

I am getting on a plane and traveling home tomorrow to see my family in St. Louis. I'm not scared or tense at all about the air travel this time, but the family time has my mind and heart racing. I hope I have enough Zanax to get me through Sunday. Mom promised me she will take hers too, so there's hope we'll get through it. If only the whole family was on it.


----------



## BigBrwnSugar1

bettylulu said:


> Something strange is happening. I thought I was just being nuts, but it seemed like I was getting a lot of male attention lately. To the point that I either thought I had something wrong with my face or was having a major wardrobe malfunction or was just reading into things. Then the other day, my husband and I went to the grocery store and he noticed it, too.
> 
> I have done nothing different. I didn't cut my hair, lose weight, change my make up or perfume, and I'm wearing the same clothes as I always have. In class today we had to work in small groups (put together by our teacher) and he also picked a group leader (who is not me). Any time anyone in our group would ask him a question or if he came over to talk to our group, he would look at me 90% of the time while talking to us. It was noticeable even to the group leader (another woman) who is very pretty and close to my age.
> 
> I was talking to my DH about it and I blurted out, "I've got the Kavorka!" (from Seinfeld) and we started cracking up. I'm sure it won't last, but it's really strange and out of the blue.



I've had something similar happen on occassion and it usually ends up occurring when I'm ovulating just before my period - it must be the girly hormones pouring out!!!! At least that seemed to be the case for me!!!!


----------



## bettylulu

Interesting, BigBrwnSugar1. I never thought of that.


----------



## HottiMegan

IC that during ovulation that my boobs are so tender than i can barely wear a bra. I hate being uber sensitive to my body's fluctuations.


----------



## Amatrix

I cry the week before, eat during the week of and then break out the week after...

I get one good week a month.  Currently in breakout phase.


----------



## hrd

My interview today went better than expected, so now it's just a bit of a waiting game. Thanks to everyone for wishing me well!


----------



## LovelyLiz

hrd said:


> My interview today went better than expected, so now it's just a bit of a waiting game. Thanks to everyone for wishing me well!



Yay! So glad to hear that! Keep us posted, hrd.


----------



## hrd

mcbeth said:


> Yay! So glad to hear that! Keep us posted, hrd.



Will do. =)


----------



## Diana_Prince245

Amatrix said:


> I cry the week before, eat during the week of and then break out the week after...
> 
> I get one good week a month.  Currently in breakout phase.



I have PMDD. I feel your pain. There's at least a week a month I just don't hang around with real people in the real world because I get so pissy all the time.

It can be controlled with the pill, but I can't afford the $70 a month price tag on the one they prescribed to me.


----------



## Cynthia

Im at a conference this week, organizing two sessions featuring colleagues. I dealt with laptops from hell yesterday, and the delay weakened the speakers presentations. (Yeah, I should have printed the PPTs as handouts.) For the one tomorrow, I squeezed four panelists into an hour to represent many viewpoints, and I'm desperately praying that no one will be longwinded. A more confident person would take this all in stride, but instead I am loathing myself and feeling unworthy.


----------



## bettylulu

Ladies with PMS/PMDD problems- have you ever tried this herb, Maca? I stumbled on it on accident and started taking it. It is amazing! It is a root vegetable like a potato or radish. Men take it because it's supposed to be like an herbal viagra, but I started taking it because after a little research I saw it's supposed to help with balancing out your hormones. 

Last month my period totally caught me by surprise because I didn't get the normal breakout and anxiety attacks that I normally get a few days before my period. I didn't feel like I was going to start sobbing at everything for no reason. This month I'm having the same experience. It's awesome. I just got it at the health food store and I haven't had any side effects. Maybe it could help?


----------



## hrd

Best news of my week: I had a call this afternoon to schedule an informal (whatever that ends up meaning) follow-up interview with the library board! I'm so excited, and, fingers crossed, they'll offer me the job that evening. This would be an incredible opportunity, so here's hoping. =)


----------



## Amatrix

I confess that when I went and got a new piercing today, and insisted everyone go first... there was a reason.

I had scar tissue from having my lebret done twice already, and I knew I was going to bleed... plus I didn't want them to chicken out. 

Oh, and when I was singing Peache's Trick Or Treat as the needle was still in me, and had to help the piercer force the needle through... I knew she was going to tell me no on my eyebrow- they always do.

Apparently, my eyebrows are too fat to pierce. The clamp wont stay on them. Good news though... I have enough fat and muscle on my face that I will age gracefully around my eye area.
:happy:


----------



## 1love_emily

I confess that I miss Derek so much that my heart actually aches.


----------



## Ruffie

I confess that I feel like a totally uncoordinated fool when I have to do exercises on floatation devices in my aquacise class. I flip over sideways, the board pops out from between my legs when trying to sit on it and paddle forwards and backwards across the pool, amongst other embarrassing occurrences. I am fine with the rest of the jogging, lunging, arm and leg work that occurs and love the workout it gives me. I simply try then do something else when it doesn't work to keep my heart rate up. I was wondering if anyone else had this occur or if I am just a freak of nature? There are other fat people in the class and they seem to do fine...


----------



## tinkerbell

IC my knee problems are causing me to binge eat a little (read:alot) and its so frustrating.


----------



## Jes

I confess that sweating so much at the gym makes my face (yes, my face) feel tired.

I think it's all the salt in the sweat.


----------



## Lovelyone

IC that after three days of barely getting any sleep at all I slept for nearly 13 hours last night. I woke up feeling like a bear that was disturbed during its hibernation and I am grumpy and want to whine and complain a lot (even though I have nothing to be grumpy and complain about). I just feel so...BITCHY.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I confess...I got a phone call at 7:45 AM this morning....I knew it was going to be bad news...


My job ended...I am totally dumbfounded. I kept hearing how people disappear and my team's supervisor was escorted out of the building on Friday - she had been there a year ...still a temp. My rep said that she wants to put me somewhere stable, and to not get upset, this happens a lot, which I kept hearing about. I am so confused, my Q & A's were in the high 90's and I had good schedule adherence. I need to work this week...I cannot go a week without income. She said she wanted to get me in on another job,which she called stable and said where I was at unstable..ugh... it doesn't pay as much, but, it is temp to hire and will go up considerably after 60 days.

I owe my sister 430 dollars because my car broke down on Friday....I cannot breathe. I'm soooo screwed.

I worked for one company for 8 years...and then I finished my BA and then 2 years a NetJets until the economy tanked and they let go of me and half of the company. I just can't find anything stable....and honestly, I am at the end of my rope and I'm just not sure what to do. I'm a good worker, I'm very smart, personable, friendly....is it my weight? I'm really upset, but, I am looking...going to check Craig's first to see if there is a job open today.

Wish me luck!


----------



## sgageny

I confess, this is my first confession. 
I also confess that I'm a complete sillyface when it comes to dating. Might as well give it up. 
I confess that I miss winter, now I have to crack out the razor and actually shave my legs  ( good old Australian humidity)


----------



## PunkyGurly74

An update.... I have an interview on Weds AM...


The job starts paying less...but, after 30 days if they hire me (she said they hire almost everyone) the pay starts out higher than my previous job and then some...:: crossing everything::

I wish I had a fairy godmother who would pay to get my hair done (and zap these 10" long roots) today and my nails.....ugh...I just don't look put together anymore..


----------



## jewels_mystery

PunkyGurly74 said:


> An update.... I have an interview on Weds AM...
> 
> 
> The job starts paying less...but, after 30 days if they hire me (she said they hire almost everyone) the pay starts out higher than my previous job and then some...:: crossing everything::
> 
> I wish I had a fairy godmother who would pay to get my hair done (and zap these 10" long roots) today and my nails.....ugh...I just don't look put together anymore..



{{Hugs}} Prayer sent. I was in your shoes a couple of months back. There is a light at the end. Good luck on your interview.


----------



## yoopergirl

PunkyGurly74 said:


> An update.... I have an interview on Weds AM...
> 
> 
> The job starts paying less...but, after 30 days if they hire me (she said they hire almost everyone) the pay starts out higher than my previous job and then some...:: crossing everything::
> 
> I wish I had a fairy godmother who would pay to get my hair done (and zap these 10" long roots) today and my nails.....ugh...I just don't look put together anymore..


 
Good luck. I'll keep my "everything" crossed for you as well.


----------



## yoopergirl

IC I hate going almost anywhere with large crowds by myself. Especially if food is involved - grocery shopping, grabbing a meal at a restaurant, going to see a movie (and to me, seeing a movie without popcorn is just wrong) - I feel even more judged than usual, and generally won't do it unless I have someone with me who I can focus my attention on and ignore everyone else.


----------



## Lamia

I confess that when I make a mistake at work it feels like a bolt of lightening hits me in the chest and I shake for a couple of minutes. This annoys me that I pretty much have the same reaction as I would if an armed intruder entered the room. I am so lame. :doh:


----------



## PunkyGurly74

jewels_mystery said:


> {{Hugs}} Prayer sent. I was in your shoes a couple of months back. There is a light at the end. Good luck on your interview.





yoopergirl said:


> Good luck. I'll keep my "everything" crossed for you as well.



Thanks guys! Appreciate it!


----------



## Lamia

PunkyGurly74 said:


> Thanks guys! Appreciate it!



Hey good luck with your interview. I noticed that you're in Columbus. I lived there for 8 years over by Dublin on Sawmill. I'll ask around to my friends up there and see if any of their companies are hiring.

Diann


----------



## HottiMegan

PunkyGurly74 said:


> An update.... I have an interview on Weds AM...
> 
> 
> The job starts paying less...but, after 30 days if they hire me (she said they hire almost everyone) the pay starts out higher than my previous job and then some...:: crossing everything::
> 
> I wish I had a fairy godmother who would pay to get my hair done (and zap these 10" long roots) today and my nails.....ugh...I just don't look put together anymore..



I wish you luck on your interview.


----------



## CastingPearls

PunkyGurly74 said:


> An update.... I have an interview on Weds AM...
> 
> 
> The job starts paying less...but, after 30 days if they hire me (she said they hire almost everyone) the pay starts out higher than my previous job and then some...:: crossing everything::
> 
> I wish I had a fairy godmother who would pay to get my hair done (and zap these 10" long roots) today and my nails.....ugh...I just don't look put together anymore..


Best of luck. Crossing fingers (and everything else) for you.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Lamia said:


> Hey good luck with your interview. I noticed that you're in Columbus. I lived there for 8 years over by Dublin on Sawmill. I'll ask around to my friends up there and see if any of their companies are hiring.
> 
> Diann





HottiMegan said:


> I wish you luck on your interview.



Thanks everyone! For the messages and pm's as well...

As it turns out I have 2 more interviews on Thursday...and then there is also job fair tomorrow as well...I just sent my resume to be printed off...

So, I'm hoping I only lose a week! :: crossing fingers::


----------



## luscious_lulu

Hey peeps! Just checking in & saying hi. 

PunkyGirl, good luck with the interviews!


----------



## hrd

I was hired today! I start next Tuesday and am completely excited. =) Thanks again for wishing me well!!


----------



## yoopergirl

hrd said:


> I was hired today! I start next Tuesday and am completely excited. =) Thanks again for wishing me well!!



Congratulations!


----------



## TexasTrouble

hrd said:


> I was hired today! I start next Tuesday and am completely excited. =) Thanks again for wishing me well!!



Congratulations on the new job!


----------



## Lovelyone

yoopergirl said:


> IC I hate going almost anywhere with large crowds by myself. Especially if food is involved - grocery shopping, grabbing a meal at a restaurant, going to see a movie (and to me, seeing a movie without popcorn is just wrong) - I feel even more judged than usual, and generally won't do it unless I have someone with me who I can focus my attention on and ignore everyone else.



I had this same issue for a very long time. I always felt that I stood out (in a bad way) and felt like I was drawing unwanted attention toward myself just for being me. I was so utterly self-conscious that I would walk into a room and to me it felt like the room atmosphere had shifted in a bad way just for me being there. My lack of self-confidence did me in on more than one occasion and I left parties or a get together because I felt like I didn't belong with that particular group of people. Maybe I felt like I wasn't thin enough, or pretty enough, or as intelligent as they were, and I NEVER ate in front of people that I felt awkward with. Once I was at a party and someone asked me if I wanted an hors-d'oeuvre. I turned it down because I felt as if someone would watch me eat. Someone in the group made a big deal that I hadn't had one and chased down the server to get one for me. It was embarrassing to me because I felt that she was trying too hard, and in doing so she drew MORE unwanted attention to me. What made it worse is that this was a person who KNEW that I had issues eating in front of others. I spent most of that party hiding out in the bathroom in tears.

I had to FORCE myself to go out with groups of people. Dining out was a sensitive issue (especially at buffets because I always felt like people would judge me by what, the amount, and how I ate. In my head I would imagine them saying, "Oh God! Hurry up there and get the food you want cos the fatty is here and no one else will get any"). When I went out to a restaurant with a group of people, even though I wanted the big juicy bacon cheeseburger and fries with a chocolate shake I would order a salad and a diet beverage (because that's what I thought everyone expected me to order because of my size).

I hated going to the grocery store because I thought people would look in my shopping cart and make judgments about me. On some occasions they did. I was wary of going to parties of any sort because a lot of the food that was offered weren't healthy options and I thought people would judge me if I had a cupcake instead of a carrot stick. I really alienated myself because of fear of what others thought about what and how I ate. 

When I went out in groups I had to psych myself up by looking in the mirror and telling myself, "Bite the bullet. You will go out with these people and have a wonderful time. Don't feel self conscious no one is staring at you when you eat or in a bad way. GO out, laugh, have a wonderful time and show everyone that you are a good person with a terrific sense of humor. You are intelligent, kind and thoughtful person--don't let fear keep you from knowing other people and doing what you want to do." It worked most of the time.
I still occasionally have thoughts that I am not comparable to others or that if I open my mouth I will make a complete fool of myself. There are times I feel awkward eating in front of others but I have to remind myself that EVERYONE eats, EVERYONE lives and that I cannot shut myself away because I have insecure feelings.
I hope that you overcome those feelings.


----------



## Allie Cat

Jumping on the bandwagon here... IC that I was let go on Monday (well, technically Friday, but I was not told until Monday). They had tried to have my placement agency tell me on Friday so they wouldn't have to do it to my face, but apparently they didn't actually TELL the placement agency. Like so many others, I'm sunk if I go a week without income. I've applied for unemployment, food stamps, cash assistance, and medical help... but even so, I still won't have enough to pay all my bills. I'm trying to get my placement agency to find me a new position but I haven't heard back from them yet... *sigh*


----------



## hrd

yoopergirl said:


> Congratulations!





TexasTrouble said:


> Congratulations on the new job!



Thank you!


----------



## CastingPearls

hrd said:


> I was hired today! I start next Tuesday and am completely excited. =) Thanks again for wishing me well!!


Congratulations!!!!


----------



## aocutiepi

Feeling so much for all of you ladies going through rough patches right now. Soft hugs for you all. 


IC I just got an interview at my dream pharmacy school (they're a top five school and I've wanted to go there since I was 15) and my biggest fear is that because it's healthcare, they aren't going to take me seriously because of my size... and even though I have great stats, they'll reject me. 

I know I need to suck it up and give myself a pep talk, but I can't bring food to my mouth without freaking out about it--even though it's not like I'll get to a more "acceptable" size in ten days!  

I'm ridiculous.


----------



## LovelyLiz

aocutiepi said:


> Feeling so much for all of you ladies going through rough patches right now. Soft hugs for you all.
> 
> 
> IC I just got an interview at my dream pharmacy school (they're a top five school and I've wanted to go there since I was 15) and my biggest fear is that because it's healthcare, they aren't going to take me seriously because of my size... and even though I have great stats, they'll reject me.
> 
> I know I need to suck it up and give myself a pep talk, but I can't bring food to my mouth without freaking out about it--even though it's not like I'll get to a more "acceptable" size in ten days!
> 
> I'm ridiculous.



Just an idea...what about using your size as an advantage, if it comes up? I mean, talking about how in the medical community sometimes people of size feel less comfortable speaking openly and honestly with those who are dealing with them about medical issues, about things they go through, and that as a result their care can be compromised? You could add that to the list of things you bring to the table, instead of seeing it as a deficit.

Either way, you'll do great! Congratulations and good luck.


----------



## aocutiepi

mcbeth said:


> Just an idea...what about using your size as an advantage, if it comes up? I mean, talking about how in the medical community sometimes people of size feel less comfortable speaking openly and honestly with those who are dealing with them about medical issues, about things they go through, and that as a result their care can be compromised? You could add that to the list of things you bring to the table, instead of seeing it as a deficit.
> 
> Either way, you'll do great! Congratulations and good luck.




mcbeth, I actually had thought about that and am glad to hear the suggestion from you because I value your opinion so much. I think if they ask "How do you stand out from the other people being interviewed" bit I might work that in. Thanks, lady.


----------



## Tau

My self esteem is at rock bottom right now. This is the lowest I have felt about my body since I was 15 and somehow it hurts worse now than it did then. My life is in constant turmoil right now and I am doubting...everything. I don't know how to dig myself out of this feeling and I'm just really, really tired. I'm sitting at the cusp of what is meant to be an entirely new part of my adult hood and I am more lost now than I have ever been before.

I want to send my love to to all of you having so much pain and so much hardship - praying hard it works out for you all. And to those who are feeling and living joy - YAY!!! Celebrate it and savour it - sending gleeful vibes your way too.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

IC ...no job...several... interviews...and honestly I have no idea what is wrong with me...most people with my background and education have 40k and up jobs...what is wrong with me? Years of this. I feel like such a failure all the way around - but, yet, I keep going...no idea why ( besides my dogs )


----------



## LovelyLiz

Tau said:


> My self esteem is at rock bottom right now. This is the lowest I have felt about my body since I was 15 and somehow it hurts worse now than it did then. My life is in constant turmoil right now and I am doubting...everything. I don't know how to dig myself out of this feeling and I'm just really, really tired. I'm sitting at the cusp of what is meant to be an entirely new part of my adult hood and I am more lost now than I have ever been before.



I just have to respond to this, because I think (actually I KNOW) that you are beautiful, badass, passionate, insightful, sexy, intelligent, and kind - and I am really bummed that you are being bombarded with lies about yourself right now. Because seriously, those are lies - but I know how hard it can be to see out of them while you're in the midst of it. Did anything trigger this low phase for you? Either way, I hope light shines through soon. (((HUGS))) to you, sister.

For the past month or so I've been in kind of a funk too, though I think I'm emerging from it now, in a new way. I've been channeling most of that energy that I use to hate on myself onto constructive, creative endeavors - like songwriting, thinking of articles I want to write for magazines, and other public art projects. So when that voice comes that says, "You are worthless, unlovable, and have nothing to offer the world", instead of giving it the time of day, I just live into the reality that it is wrong. 

I don't mean that to say that's some fix-all strategy that will work for everyone, but it's been really helping me to just tell those feelings to fuck themselves, and to go do things that I know bring me life and grace.

Tau - maybe you could take some photographs that capture what you're going through right now? (I have seen your pictures - and they're lovely.) It may not make you feel better, but at least there will be some beautiful pictures that other people might resonate with too sometime (so yeah, post them somewhere).


----------



## Lovelyone

I miss canoodling, and the every day aspects of having someone special in my life.


----------



## hrd

CastingPearls said:


> Congratulations!!!!



Thank you. =) 

And for everyone going through difficult times, I hope you find the strength, patience and perseverance to weather the storm. I spent the last three years sending applications around the world, and I ended up having to ask my family for help, so I understand how frustrating it can be, and I truly wish you all the best.


----------



## Tau

mcbeth said:


> I just have to respond to this, because I think (actually I KNOW) that you are beautiful, badass, passionate, insightful, sexy, intelligent, and kind - and I am really bummed that you are being bombarded with lies about yourself right now. Because seriously, those are lies - but I know how hard it can be to see out of them while you're in the midst of it. Did anything trigger this low phase for you? Either way, I hope light shines through soon. (((HUGS))) to you, sister.
> 
> For the past month or so I've been in kind of a funk too, though I think I'm emerging from it now, in a new way. I've been channeling most of that energy that I use to hate on myself onto constructive, creative endeavors - like songwriting, thinking of articles I want to write for magazines, and other public art projects. So when that voice comes that says, "You are worthless, unlovable, and have nothing to offer the world", instead of giving it the time of day, I just live into the reality that it is wrong.
> 
> I don't mean that to say that's some fix-all strategy that will work for everyone, but it's been really helping me to just tell those feelings to fuck themselves, and to go do things that I know bring me life and grace.
> 
> Tau - maybe you could take some photographs that capture what you're going through right now? (I have seen your pictures - and they're lovely.) It may not make you feel better, but at least there will be some beautiful pictures that other people might resonate with too sometime (so yeah, post them somewhere).



Thank you darling *HUGZ!* I have actually embarked on a photography project to remind myself of my passion and the things i love so I totally agree with you about creating in order to move on from pain. Your words mean a whole lot to me - thanks for beaming all that love and positive energy my way.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Tau said:


> My self esteem is at rock bottom right now. This is the lowest I have felt about my body since I was 15 and somehow it hurts worse now than it did then. My life is in constant turmoil right now and I am doubting...everything. I don't know how to dig myself out of this feeling and I'm just really, really tired. I'm sitting at the cusp of what is meant to be an entirely new part of my adult hood and I am more lost now than I have ever been before.
> 
> I want to send my love to to all of you having so much pain and so much hardship - praying hard it works out for you all. And to those who are feeling and living joy - YAY!!! Celebrate it and savour it - sending gleeful vibes your way too.



I was reading something you might recognize..a brilliant, strong, enlightened woman wrote this on her blog...

"I remember the day I realised that I loved myself - loved every roll of fat, every dimple and crease that I had been told for years was disgusting. On that day it felt as if my soul lit up, as if pure sunshine was welling from within me and pouring out into the world. I became the light in my own life. I remember that as the day I 'swallowed' the sun."

THIS is amazing. To have that revelation about oneself is awesome. Some of us will never experience this contentment, self awareness or self-love. You are special! Hold on to this!

I am also intrigued by your photo essay "The Day I swallowed the Sun" .
..I am looking forward to see how it turns out.


----------



## 1love_emily

Every time I look at a photo of my boyfriend and I, I just end up staring at the pixilated version of his face. I stare it and I just can't believe that such a cute, smart, sweet young man is attracted to me. He's got everything going for him and he could have any girl, BBW or not, that he wants. But he has me. Most days I am so incredibly happy that he's mine and that I love him and he loves me. But sometimes I worry that I'm holding him back. Is it possible for me to love him so much that I'd understand if he didn't want me anymore because I'm just not good enough?


----------



## katherine22

PunkyGurly74 said:


> I was reading something you might recognize..a brilliant, strong, enlightened woman wrote this on her blog...
> 
> "I remember the day I realised that I loved myself - loved every roll of fat, every dimple and crease that I had been told for years was disgusting. On that day it felt as if my soul lit up, as if pure sunshine was welling from within me and pouring out into the world. I became the light in my own life. I remember that as the day I 'swallowed' the sun."
> 
> THIS is amazing. To have that revelation about oneself is awesome. Some of us will never experience this contentment, self awareness or self-love. You are special! Hold on to this!
> 
> forward to see how it turns out.



Tau- it is all love when you light up like sunshine or whether you can't get out of bed from self-disgust.


----------



## torontowendy

I confess that I am broken hearted once again, that I believed that this time things would be different, but got the rug pulled out from underneath me once again. That I love you with all my heart but can't help but question is this really what I want or need in my life right now. I hate to give up on you but am feeling at a loss as to what to say or do to amend/fix/change this. You know I'll never stop loving you but you need to figure out what it is exactly you want from me, from your life. I can't stop crying, can't stop going over the past conversations, can't help but wonder how you flip flop in just a day or two.

I hope you figure out what you want and fast. I can't take much more of this.

I do love you, but you're hurting me so much.


----------



## KittyKitten

It's a good day!


----------



## PunkyGurly74

IC no job yet....I need 100 dollars by Saturday to not get evicted this week...I officially have nothing worth selling....so...I do believe it time to sell my "goods" on craig's list.. LOL


----------



## Moongirl75

torontowendy said:


> I confess that I am broken hearted once again, that I believed that this time things would be different, but got the rug pulled out from underneath me once again. That I love you with all my heart but can't help but question is this really what I want or need in my life right now. I hate to give up on you but am feeling at a loss as to what to say or do to amend/fix/change this. You know I'll never stop loving you but you need to figure out what it is exactly you want from me, from your life. I can't stop crying, can't stop going over the past conversations, can't help but wonder how you flip flop in just a day or two.
> 
> I hope you figure out what you want and fast. I can't take much more of this.
> 
> I do love you, but you're hurting me so much.




I swear you just said everything that is going on inside my head right now.


----------



## torontowendy

Moongirl75 said:


> I swear you just said everything that is going on inside my head right now.



I'm sorry you're going through the same thing. Hopefully your situation works out better then mine is.

Take care


----------



## torontowendy

Well it's almost 3 days later and it's gone from bad to worse. I've come to the conclusion that it's not going to work out any time soon. Sadly you're in such deep denial, and still so unhappy and think that by saying the things you have said the past 2 days that I believe those sooo untrue words. I see through the crap. You can say what you want to say when other ears/eyes are around. I know you, I know you almost better then you know yourself. I know your push tactics. You can't tell me that you're oh so blissfully happy, because if you were you wouldn't be still here, still looking for what you know you truly want. Don't give up on yourself. Don't give up on your dreams. Don't give up on your future. 

I'll never stop loving you, you know that. Maybe in the future things will be different.

I'll always have your back. I know you love me, that doesn't change in two days.


----------



## hrd

It's been three years in the making, but I had such a fabulous first day!


----------



## littlefairywren

It's been ages since I posted in here, so here's my wee confession.

IC that I am frightened of becoming my mother. She has given up so much of her life looking after my great-grandmother, and now my grandmother who is completely bed ridden (we share in looking after her care). My mother's marriage to my step-father has been greatly impacted by her selflessness, and all and any possible social life that she may have had. Her body is now in constant pain from a rare form of arthritis, and to make things even messier, she took a fall this week and is now on very strong pain killers, which makes her rather like a humorous forgetful zombie. To complicate matters further, my sister has troubles of her own that are impacting the family.

I fear that my life is mapped out for me, and I'm following a path that will swallow me whole and I will lose myself as she has. I love my mother, but also want my chance at happiness which makes me feel like a selfish arse.


----------



## Lamia

I confess sometimes I feel like someone finding me sexy is like a freshmen fantasizing about the lunch lady.


----------



## Tau

I'm here to share love. I've read pages and pages back over this thread and I just want to share love with all of you. 

Punky I'm praying hard something comes up for you soon hon. Work is strife for me too right now and the uncertainty is just draining and exhausting so I hope that soon you'll find a way out and a job to support yourself.

LFW you won't go down that path hon because seeing where you are and who you are and where you don't want to go means that you can make different choices for yourself. Our lives are not written in stone - i just know you'll find greater happiness

To the ladies in love, feeling joy, having good days - yay!  And to the amazing fat sisterhood that dragged me out of my own depression - thank you so much. All the messages I got and the really sweet words just lifted me*SMISHES!!* I'm doing much better since I wrote that message. I traced my pain back, looked for the genesis of the misery and staring it in the face has eased it. *Deep breath!* Take care of yourselves all of you because you are awesome!!!:wubu:


----------



## yoopergirl

IC that I have been letting a lot of things - my finances, my health, my sanity - fall by the wayside for far too long...and although I am struggling a bit to set things in motion, I hope that by recognizing that things need to change, I'm at least beginning to turn things around.


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC I am not looking forward to going into the gym to cancel my membership. The reality is, I do exercise like 5-6 times a week, but I prefer doing it outside rather than inside with a bunch of gym rats, and I live in a climate where exercising outdoors year round is absolutely possible (and fun!). So it's not worth paying for a membership I never use.

Still, I know they are trained to try *not* to let people cancel, and I am just imagining the person eyeing me up and down and being like, "Really, you fatty, you really think cancelling your membership is a good idea?" So I've been putting it off for a few weeks...but I really need to just do it.


----------



## TexasTrouble

mcbeth said:


> IC I am not looking forward to going into the gym to cancel my membership. The reality is, I do exercise like 5-6 times a week, but I prefer doing it outside rather than inside with a bunch of gym rats, and I live in a climate where exercising outdoors year round is absolutely possible (and fun!). So it's not worth paying for a membership I never use.
> 
> Still, I know they are trained to try *not* to let people cancel, and I am just imagining the person eyeing me up and down and being like, "Really, you fatty, you really think cancelling your membership is a good idea?" So I've been putting it off for a few weeks...but I really need to just do it.



Normally, I am one of the strict lying = wrong people, but, in cases like these, when you are perfectly in your right to cancel a membership, subscription, etc. I will sometimes lie. Telling people that I'm moving somewhere that gym doesn't have a location or that my company has recently added a gym membership to our employee perks has come in handy. Now, I never do this to get out of a contract or something like that. I only pull it out if they start the annoying sales pitch after I politely tell them I would like to end my membership.

Oh, and be sure and check you bank/credit card statements if your dues are automatically withdrawn or charged. I've heard a LOT of gyms won't follow through with your bank to stop automatic payments.


----------



## CastingPearls

IC that looking back about five weeks now, I've accomplished much more than I imagined and that alone keeps me optimistic that I'll achieve all my goals.


----------



## Lamia

long story...

So I had a wonderful time the last couple of days. I was wakened to severe pain on my right side and sick to my stomach. I called the nurses lines through my insurance and they suggested it was stomach flu. I went back to sleep and woke up 5 hours later to the same pain. I called the nurse's line again and she suggested I go to the ER. 

I get to the ER and they take my blood and urine. They said no infection in my urine. They did a pelvic exam which I screamed at the top of my lungs. It was like someone running a cheese grater over a 3rd degree burn. I bled on the hospital sheets for a little bit. 

I've never been able to have vaginal intercourse or use tampons. I am thinking the ER doctor broke through my tough hymen, but not sure. They sent me to another hospital to have a cat scan since theirs wasn't big enough. At this hospital the next day they informed me they wanted to do a vaginal ultra sound to try to look at my appendix that way since the cat scan yielded little info. I burst out crying. I did not want to go through that pain again. 

I told them I would think about it. I went to the bathroom and tested out to see how much pain I would have there. I still had some pain, but not like it's been my whole life. They did the ultrasound which was painful, but didn't make me scream out. They found something in my cervix they don't know what it is. They thought I had a cyst on my ovary. They finally found bacteria in my urine after the 3rd sample. 

Could it be my torn hymen that they are seeing in my cervix? I feel really stupid right now.


----------



## Tau

Lamia said:


> long story...
> 
> So I had a wonderful time the last couple of days. I was wakened to severe pain on my right side and sick to my stomach. I called the nurses lines through my insurance and they suggested it was stomach flu. I went back to sleep and woke up 5 hours later to the same pain. I called the nurse's line again and she suggested I go to the ER.
> 
> I get to the ER and they take my blood and urine. They said no infection in my urine. They did a pelvic exam which I screamed at the top of my lungs. It was like someone running a cheese grater over a 3rd degree burn. I bled on the hospital sheets for a little bit.
> 
> I've never been able to have vaginal intercourse or use tampons. I am thinking the ER doctor broke through my tough hymen, but not sure. They sent me to another hospital to have a cat scan since theirs wasn't big enough. At this hospital the next day they informed me they wanted to do a vaginal ultra sound to try to look at my appendix that way since the cat scan yielded little info. I burst out crying. I did not want to go through that pain again.
> 
> I told them I would think about it. I went to the bathroom and tested out to see how much pain I would have there. I still had some pain, but not like it's been my whole life. They did the ultrasound which was painful, but didn't make me scream out. They found something in my cervix they don't know what it is. They thought I had a cyst on my ovary. They finally found bacteria in my urine after the 3rd sample.
> 
> Could it be my torn hymen that they are seeing in my cervix? I feel really stupid right now.



I don't think torn hymen could look like an ovarian cyst. My sister had those and they can be very, very painful. Do you have gyne you trust? Its your right to ask any and all questions about whats happening to your body Lamia. You aren't a doctor - they are and they are the ones who should be telling you whats going on. Ask honey and don't feel stupid and trust what you're feeling. Sending big, big hugz.


----------



## gobettiepurple

I confess that after several years of failing in the job market, I have decided to go back to school and move to the Sacramento area to do it.

Considering it would not be my first move [I went to college in Dallas] I feel that this is the right decision, but I reserve the right to be scared. At least I will have somewhat free room and board, as I will be living with my cousin. 

But still, there are a lot of things to consider . . .


----------



## gobettiepurple

I also confess that I will be growing my hair out for the sole purpose of shaving my head, Anya style: 

View attachment 0911anya-ayoun-chee-project-runway_fa.jpg


----------



## zeta

I confess... Well, two confessions actually 

First, I think I should move on and find another job, but I hesitate even on looking for a job, since I am so big and I fear that it is too big (pun intended) issue although I have remarkable credentials and striking personality that would be valuable to any employer.

Second, I have not been physically close with anybody for many, many years. Past weekend, I danced with a co-worker a couple of times, which was a lot of fun, but also first time for years I was so close to a man. Although I don't have (or I thought I don't have) any emotions toward him, now I am somewhat puzzled and even having almost a crush. He just agreed to dance with me just like that and even though I know it is part of his personality to be so effortless and "out of worldy", it still brought up emotions I though I did not have. He's married and stuff, and I do not really see anything developing there, but just the mere fact that somebody saw me as a woman and agreed to be close with me, woke up some yearning I did not know I had anymore.


----------



## LovelyLiz

gobettiepurple said:


> I confess that after several years of failing in the job market, I have decided to go back to school and move to the Sacramento area to do it.
> 
> Considering it would not be my first move [I went to college in Dallas] I feel that this is the right decision, but I reserve the right to be scared. At least I will have somewhat free room and board, as I will be living with my cousin.
> 
> But still, there are a lot of things to consider . . .



Wow, Sacramento! What landed you on that choice? Hope it turns out to be a fruitful and wonderful time for you.


----------



## gobettiepurple

mcbeth said:


> Wow, Sacramento! What landed you on that choice? Hope it turns out to be a fruitful and wonderful time for you.



My cousin lives in that area, and it was an offer I couldn't refuse lol . . . 

I hope so. I mean, my home will always be LA, but there is a school up there that I would like to attend to get my Masters.


----------



## BigBrwnSugar1

gobettiepurple said:


> I also confess that I will be growing my hair out for the sole purpose of shaving my head, Anya style:



I LOVE ANYA :wubu::smitten::bow: Killing me with that accent and her talent. She's gorgeous!!!!


----------



## gobettiepurple

BigBrwnSugar1 said:


> I LOVE ANYA :wubu::smitten::bow: Killing me with that accent and her talent. She's gorgeous!!!!



OMG I AGREE!!!! I love her too! lol!


----------



## KittyKitten

Seriously, does the line "I have a boyfriend" not work anymore when a guy is trying to mack with you? What in the world? I remember when it used to work, now you tell them that you are in a relationship and they say, "Can, we be friends?"


----------



## Jes

happyface83 said:


> Seriously, does the line "I have a boyfriend" not work anymore when a guy is trying to mack with you? What in the world? I remember when it used to work, now you tell them that you are in a relationship and they say, "Can, we be friends?"



Maybe it's b/c the back of your head is ridickalous, girrrl!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTFZyl7hfBw


----------



## yoopergirl

Rainy nights like this make me long for a quiet spot with a comfy couch, a hot chocolate, and someone to share it with - or at least a good book.

IC I'm a little annoyed that because of my current living situation, the closest I can come to this tonight is parking my car by the lake with my book & a crappy cocoa from a drive-thru place.

I also confess that I cried at work today when my sister started a message thread online for us to leave notes for my mom (who passed away 2 1/2 years ago) - I've been missing her a lot lately...

Sorry, end of whine-fest.


----------



## Lamia

zeta said:


> I confess... Well, two confessions actually
> 
> First, I think I should move on and find another job, but I hesitate even on looking for a job, since I am so big and I fear that it is too big (pun intended) issue although I have remarkable credentials and striking personality that would be valuable to any employer.
> 
> Second, I have not been physically close with anybody for many, many years. Past weekend, I danced with a co-worker a couple of times, which was a lot of fun, but also first time for years I was so close to a man. Although I don't have (or I thought I don't have) any emotions toward him, now I am somewhat puzzled and even having almost a crush. He just agreed to dance with me just like that and even though I know it is part of his personality to be so effortless and "out of worldy", it still brought up emotions I though I did not have. He's married and stuff, and I do not really see anything developing there, but just the mere fact that somebody saw me as a woman and agreed to be close with me, woke up some yearning I did not know I had anymore.



I totally understand this. It's amazing how well we can lie to ourselves to protect us from feeling lonely or unwanted. I convinved myself for a long time that I actually didn't want anyone in my life etc. I hate getting ambushed by emotions I didn't think I had. I think he opened a door for you to maybe explore those feelings and figure out how to fill those needs. You have a right to have love and intimacy.


----------



## LovelyLiz

TexasTrouble said:


> snipped
> 
> Oh, and be sure and check you bank/credit card statements if your dues are automatically withdrawn or charged. I've heard a LOT of gyms won't follow through with your bank to stop automatic payments.



Thanks for the tips, TexasTrouble.  I'll make sure they actually do stop taking the money...

As a follow-up, I finally did go to the gym this afternoon, and the girl was actually very chill about the whole thing. She asked my reason for cancelling, I told her I prefer to work out outdoors and their location doesn't have a pool. She said other nearby locations did, and I said I knew that and visited them but that they were always super crowded and so I ended up swimming in other public pools anyway, and didn't see why I should pay for something I never get to use. She said, "That makes sense" and was pretty laid back. Didn't try to get me to reconsider at all.

Then bada-bing-bada-boom she gave me some form I just have to stick in the mail and that's that. Whew! Painless.


----------



## Tau

zeta said:


> I confess... Well, two confessions actually
> 
> First, I think I should move on and find another job, but I hesitate even on looking for a job, since I am so big and I fear that it is too big (pun intended) issue although I have remarkable credentials and striking personality that would be valuable to any employer.
> 
> Second, I have not been physically close with anybody for many, many years. Past weekend, I danced with a co-worker a couple of times, which was a lot of fun, but also first time for years I was so close to a man. Although I don't have (or I thought I don't have) any emotions toward him, now I am somewhat puzzled and even having almost a crush. He just agreed to dance with me just like that and even though I know it is part of his personality to be so effortless and "out of worldy", it still brought up emotions I though I did not have. He's married and stuff, and I do not really see anything developing there, but just the mere fact that somebody saw me as a woman and agreed to be close with me, woke up some yearning I did not know I had anymore.



(((Zeta!!!))) I say look for that job hon. I'm always the fattest, blackest person in my profession. I work in PR and in SA it is poulated with super thin, blond white women and I'm short and enormously round and I always get the job and I always do it well. Try it honey - life is too short not to try.


----------



## Tau

mcbeth said:


> Thanks for the tips, TexasTrouble.  I'll make sure they actually do stop taking the money...
> 
> As a follow-up, I finally did go to the gym this afternoon, and the girl was actually very chill about the whole thing. She asked my reason for cancelling, I told her I prefer to work out outdoors and their location doesn't have a pool. She said other nearby locations did, and I said I knew that and visited them but that they were always super crowded and so I ended up swimming in other public pools anyway, and didn't see why I should pay for something I never get to use. She said, "That makes sense" and was pretty laid back. Didn't try to get me to reconsider at all.
> 
> Then bada-bing-bada-boom she gave me some form I just have to stick in the mail and that's that. Whew! Painless.



Yay! Happy it went well. Only thing I like about the gym is the sauna lol!


----------



## zeta

Lamia said:


> I totally understand this. It's amazing how well we can lie to ourselves to protect us from feeling lonely or unwanted. I convinved myself for a long time that I actually didn't want anyone in my life etc. I hate getting ambushed by emotions I didn't think I had. I think he opened a door for you to maybe explore those feelings and figure out how to fill those needs. You have a right to have love and intimacy.



Thanks for the support and yes, I agree. I've built some kind of shell around me and denied myself the need to be close with somebody else. Well, I've tried a couple of times to reach out with miserable results and that has added up to my denial. So now when somebody (some *man*) was so ok to touch me and to bring his body close to me, it was "whoaah, wait what?" feeling to me. 



Tau said:


> (((Zeta!!!))) I say look for that job hon. I'm always the fattest, blackest person in my profession. I work in PR and in SA it is poulated with super thin, blond white women and I'm short and enormously round and I always get the job and I always do it well. Try it honey - life is too short not to try.



Thank you for the kind words and yes, I know I just should go out there and see what happens. Need just to build up my courage a little bit first. I have incredibly low self-esteem for a person who has always been top of the class, top of the team and constantly praised for my skills. Although I realise my own point of view is kinda twisted, it is still so overwhelming that I find it difficult to ignore it and believe in myself. I will try to improve though. 

Thank you again! :bow:


----------



## TexasTrouble

IC I'm curled up on the couch watching a mini marathon of "The Walking Dead." I know I shouldn't do this because I am a total chicken. I may be posting really late tonight if I can't sleep!


----------



## Deven

I wish that my significant other was a FA. He'll point a woman who isn't much larger than me, and make a crack. I just want to scream at him and point out, that not that long ago, I was that size (I've been losing weight under everyone's pressure for me to, stress, and having a giant campus to walk across.) He mentions he finds fat women gross, and when I remind him I'm fat, he goes "No, you're not." I can't tell if he does it to make me feel better or if he genuinely doesn't see me as fat.

My mom wants me to stay at home for the next 8-10 years and get my Doctorate, but I'm constantly lectured about eating. I've lost a significant amount of weight (I ordered a pair of pants in my normal size, and they fall off me.) I'm so tired of the stress... I have enough stress with my homework, classes, and mid-terms...


----------



## Allie Cat

DevenDoom said:


> I wish that my significant other was a FA. He'll point a woman who isn't much larger than me, and make a crack. I just want to scream at him and point out, that not that long ago, I was that size (I've been losing weight under everyone's pressure for me to, stress, and having a giant campus to walk across.) He mentions he finds fat women gross, and when I remind him I'm fat, he goes "No, you're not." I can't tell if he does it to make me feel better or if he genuinely doesn't see me as fat.
> 
> My mom wants me to stay at home for the next 8-10 years and get my Doctorate, but I'm constantly lectured about eating. I've lost a significant amount of weight (I ordered a pair of pants in my normal size, and they fall off me.) I'm so tired of the stress... I have enough stress with my homework, classes, and mid-terms...



My girlfriend is kind of the same, minus the cracks about fat people... she says I'm beautiful and sexy and such, but apart from me she's not attracted to fat people and when I point out a beautiful fat girl she makes noncommittal noises about how that's not her type... When I say that I'm fat, she denies it. o_o


----------



## PunkyGurly74

ic that I haven't had a dollar of income in 4 weeks. I found a job that pays nothing..it is an hour drive away and my cars transmission is going. I have had interviews...very enthused until they see me (fat and unattractive). Landlord wants 200 on Saturday..I have no money...almost out of gas..laptop has an error message..I'm so much of a loser that I have no one I can ask to let me borrow theirs so I can try to fix it...I have no friends. No money. 6 days left of dog food ...and if I died tomorrow no one would notice. No joy. No reason to struggle this damn hard. I am going to be living in my car and mh life amounts to what? Not a single person who would let me sleep on their couch. I am not even sure ehy I posted this other than I have no one else to tell. I really don't want to be here anymore. I'm a failure.


----------



## Heyyou

PunkyGurly74 said:


> ic that I haven't had a dollar of income in 4 weeks. I found a job that pays nothing..it is an hour drive away and my cars transmission is going. I have had interviews...very enthused until they see me (fat and unattractive). Landlord wants 200 on Saturday..I have no money...almost out of gas..laptop has an error message..I'm so much of a loser that I have no one I can ask to let me borrow theirs so I can try to fix it...I have no friends. No money. 6 days left of dog food ...and if I died tomorrow no one would notice. No joy. No reason to struggle this damn hard. I am going to be living in my car and mh life amounts to what? Not a single person who would let me sleep on their couch. I am not even sure ehy I posted this other than I have no one else to tell. I really don't want to be here anymore. I'm a failure.



Hang in there.. please..

Ill pray for you.

I wish i could do more. Asking myself if i can.


----------



## Lamia

Punky I know how stressed you are right now. I've been there. I would suggest going to social services and applying for food stamps. I know that it's hard to ask for that kind of help. I was unemployed for 6 months. Food Stamps helped me and that's what these services are for. I was single with no kids and got help. They might be able to help you with housing needs to. There are programs out there that can help you until you can get back on your feet.


----------



## Gingembre

Lamia said:


> Punky I know how stressed you are right now. I've been there. I would suggest going to social services and applying for food stamps. I know that it's hard to ask for that kind of help. I was unemployed for 6 months. Food Stamps helped me and that's what these services are for. I was single with no kids and got help. They might be able to help you with housing needs to. There are programs out there that can help you until you can get back on your feet.



Seconding this...please don't give up.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Hi,

Thank you for the suggestions and good thoughts but my reality is this...had food stamps...they don't last long and I missed some deadline they were cut off. I am working making very little and trying to interview but I won't qualify because at 9.50 an hour it is too much. Food banks...stood/waited in line for 4 hours...3/4 of the food was bad. And I only wish this was about food. I have no money so even if some great job comes along...I can't get there..I have no access to a computer...so I cannot apply for jobs ..I work the crappy job with an hour commute in a car with a transmission that is going to go. Ie half the time it will not go into gear...when I inform my landlord I have no money this time I am going to be put out. Call it vanity...I call it senisble but I have no desire to live in the winter in my focus..and like I said...why? It makes no sense. I have to quit the job I do have on Friday because I will be out of gas. I am going to lose my beautiful heirloom ring to the pawn shop...and organizations do not help single people with no kids. I have no where to gvo. No friends and I just don't see the point. I'm an abysmal failure. I have brought this on myself because I cannot find a job that will hire me at decent pay. It is a confession as I have no one to tell. I have tried everything...for over two years now. I'm tired.


----------



## Heyyou

pm sent nm post


----------



## Tau

PunkyGurly74 said:


> Hi,
> 
> Thank you for the suggestions and good thoughts but my reality is this...had food stamps...they don't last long and I missed some deadline they were cut off. I am working making very little and trying to interview but I won't qualify because at 9.50 an hour it is too much. Food banks...stood/waited in line for 4 hours...3/4 of the food was bad. And I only wish this was about food. I have no money so even if some great job comes along...I can't get there..I have no access to a computer...so I cannot apply for jobs ..I work the crappy job with an hour commute in a car with a transmission that is going to go. Ie half the time it will not go into gear...when I inform my landlord I have no money this time I am going to be put out. Call it vanity...I call it senisble but I have no desire to live in the winter in my focus..and like I said...why? It makes no sense. I have to quit the job I do have on Friday because I will be out of gas. I am going to lose my beautiful heirloom ring to the pawn shop...and organizations do not help single people with no kids. I have no where to gvo. No friends and I just don't see the point. I'm an abysmal failure. I have brought this on myself because I cannot find a job that will hire me at decent pay. It is a confession as I have no one to tell. I have tried everything...for over two years now. I'm tired.



You have to find help somewhere - there is always help to be found. Whether you're religious or not most churches have safe houses or support groups where you can and will get help. If you send me a mail letting me know where you live and what kind of work you are looking for honey I will go online on your behalf and search. It's going to be ok - it really, really is but you just can't give up. Reach out babes - i know it kills your pride but reach out and someone somewhere will reach back. I'm sending you my gmail address.


----------



## QuasimodoQT

PunkyGurly74 said:


> Hi,
> 
> Thank you for the suggestions and good thoughts but my reality is this...had food stamps...they don't last long and I missed some deadline they were cut off. I am working making very little and trying to interview but I won't qualify because at 9.50 an hour it is too much. Food banks...stood/waited in line for 4 hours...3/4 of the food was bad. And I only wish this was about food. I have no money so even if some great job comes along...I can't get there..I have no access to a computer...so I cannot apply for jobs ..I work the crappy job with an hour commute in a car with a transmission that is going to go. Ie half the time it will not go into gear...when I inform my landlord I have no money this time I am going to be put out. Call it vanity...I call it senisble but I have no desire to live in the winter in my focus..and like I said...why? It makes no sense. I have to quit the job I do have on Friday because I will be out of gas. I am going to lose my beautiful heirloom ring to the pawn shop...and organizations do not help single people with no kids. I have no where to gvo. No friends and I just don't see the point. I'm an abysmal failure. I have brought this on myself because I cannot find a job that will hire me at decent pay. It is a confession as I have no one to tell. I have tried everything...for over two years now. I'm tired.



How are you accessing Dims? Can you use that same source to job search? Have you checked your local library? Many have free computer access, just using your ID and free library card. 

I think the suggestion above about churches is a good one. And as for much of the food being bad at food banks, well, that's a shame, but just do it for the 1/4 that is usable.

Look, I know far too many competent people in your boat to believe you are a failure. I'm one of them. It is really hard to keep moving forward. It just takes one yes after every rejection to turn things around, and the only way to stack things in your favor is to keep trying. I know you're discouraged, I am too. But I've made it through some very bad stuff before, I have to believe I can thrive again. I'm rooting for you, too.


----------



## CastingPearls

PunkyGurly74 said:


> Hi,
> 
> Thank you for the suggestions and good thoughts but my reality is this...had food stamps...they don't last long and I missed some deadline they were cut off. I am working making very little and trying to interview but I won't qualify because at 9.50 an hour it is too much. Food banks...stood/waited in line for 4 hours...3/4 of the food was bad. And I only wish this was about food. I have no money so even if some great job comes along...I can't get there..I have no access to a computer...so I cannot apply for jobs ..I work the crappy job with an hour commute in a car with a transmission that is going to go. Ie half the time it will not go into gear...when I inform my landlord I have no money this time I am going to be put out. Call it vanity...I call it senisble but I have no desire to live in the winter in my focus..and like I said...why? It makes no sense. I have to quit the job I do have on Friday because I will be out of gas. I am going to lose my beautiful heirloom ring to the pawn shop...and organizations do not help single people with no kids. I have no where to gvo. No friends and I just don't see the point. I'm an abysmal failure. I have brought this on myself because I cannot find a job that will hire me at decent pay. It is a confession as I have no one to tell. I have tried everything...for over two years now. I'm tired.


Punky, a shelter saved my life. Look up shelters (even if you don't want to stay, they can listen to you and offer numbers to more appropriate resources like a crisis center. You are in crisis and need help. I understand vanity and pride but your life is more important and just consider it temporary to swallow that pride and vanity. There are animal rescues all over the country that you can google that will foster your dogs temporarily--families and individuals who will treat them like their own--I have friends who do this, while people are trying to get back on their feet. 
If you go to ANY government office, any DOCTOR's office, just WALK IN and ask if they have references to a shelter or resource center. I know you're very tired and have thought of everything but someone out there will help you. Please don't stop trying. Please-I didn't. I had to scream but I didn't stop until people heard me and acted.

I'm rooting for you and you DO have friends. You have me and everyone here who DOES care about you.


----------



## aocutiepi

PunkyGurly74 said:


> Hi,
> 
> Thank you for the suggestions and good thoughts but my reality is this...had food stamps...they don't last long and I missed some deadline they were cut off. I am working making very little and trying to interview but I won't qualify because at 9.50 an hour it is too much. Food banks...stood/waited in line for 4 hours...3/4 of the food was bad. And I only wish this was about food. I have no money so even if some great job comes along...I can't get there..I have no access to a computer...so I cannot apply for jobs ..I work the crappy job with an hour commute in a car with a transmission that is going to go. Ie half the time it will not go into gear...when I inform my landlord I have no money this time I am going to be put out. Call it vanity...I call it senisble but I have no desire to live in the winter in my focus..and like I said...why? It makes no sense. I have to quit the job I do have on Friday because I will be out of gas. I am going to lose my beautiful heirloom ring to the pawn shop...and organizations do not help single people with no kids. I have no where to gvo. No friends and I just don't see the point. I'm an abysmal failure. I have brought this on myself because I cannot find a job that will hire me at decent pay. It is a confession as I have no one to tell. I have tried everything...for over two years now. I'm tired.




Punky, if there is anything I can do to help you, please let me know. Praying for you so hard. I'm sending you a PM about shelters. I've volunteered at one in Louisville, KY and I agree with what everyone else has said about them. Please don't be afraid to seek help.


----------



## Lamia

My Gynecology appointment isn't until Nov 7th. So I have to wait all this time to find out what the "mystery" item in my cervix is.  This is not ok with me. I have to go get the original films from the hospital and take to her office. The hospital is 2 hours one way and her office is 2 hours the other way.


----------



## 1love_emily

I confess that all I want right now is a text from him.


----------



## aocutiepi

IC I just found out I got accepted at my dream pharmacy school and I am on cloud nine!! :happy:


----------



## CastingPearls

aocutiepi said:


> IC I just found out I got accepted at my dream pharmacy school and I am on cloud nine!! :happy:


Congratulations!!! Now go out and celebrate!!!!


----------



## TexasTrouble

aocutiepi said:


> IC I just found out I got accepted at my dream pharmacy school and I am on cloud nine!! :happy:



Yay you! Way to go!


----------



## aocutiepi

TexasTrouble said:


> Yay you! Way to go!





CastingPearls said:


> Congratulations!!! Now go out and celebrate!!!!




Thanks! I'm celebrating with some blackberry wine tomorrow at the orchard. Pumped! Hope you are all having good weekends and sending hugs to everyone hurting tonight. I'm so blessed.


----------



## LovelyLiz

aocutiepi said:


> IC I just found out I got accepted at my dream pharmacy school and I am on cloud nine!! :happy:



Wooooooooooooo!!! Is this the one you interviewed for a while back, that you were nervous about? That is such great news! Congratulations.


----------



## yoopergirl

Congrats on the good news, aocutiepi!


I hate the idea of people watching me exercise...But IC, I get some major satisfaction out of seeing the reactions of some of the snooty women in my water aerobics class when they realize the biggest girl in the class can out-perform them. Take THAT, biznatches!


----------



## Heyyou

yoopergirl said:


> Congrats on the good news, aocutiepi!
> 
> 
> I hate the idea of people watching me exercise...But IC, I get some major satisfaction out of seeing the reactions of some of the snooty women in my water aerobics class when they realize the biggest girl in the class can out-perform them. Take THAT, biznatches!



Indeed!


----------



## TexasTrouble

IC I have a giant pile of student mid-term papers to grade. Relatedly, I also confess that I really want a margarita (or 7) right now.


----------



## aocutiepi

mcbeth said:


> Wooooooooooooo!!! Is this the one you interviewed for a while back, that you were nervous about? That is such great news! Congratulations.





yoopergirl said:


> Congrats on the good news, aocutiepi!






Heyyou said:


> Indeed!




Thanks you all for the kind words and the rep. I'm really looking forward to being able to do and be something positive in the medical community for us because it disgusts me when other "medical professionals" shame people into not seeking treatment by blaming head colds on body type. *off soapbox*

And yeah, mcbeth, the same interview. I'm thrilled it went well!


----------



## Lamia

I confess I hate being a woman sometimes. Menustration does not make me feel all magical and part of the universe and creation it makes me feel like tiny scorpions are trying to sting their way out of my guts and nether parts. 

F#$% nature


----------



## HottiMegan

OMG Lamia you took the words right out of my head. I am hatin' being a woman today, i just want to curl up in bed until it passes. I don't feel like scorpions but like something is burst inside of me and filling up my abdomen past its capacity.

I sort of look forward to menopause...


----------



## Lamia

HottiMegan said:


> OMG Lamia you took the words right out of my head. I am hatin' being a woman today, i just want to curl up in bed until it passes. I don't feel like scorpions but like something is burst inside of me and filling up my abdomen past its capacity.
> 
> I sort of look forward to menopause...



lol no doubt it's just messy and gross and I don't wanna!


----------



## hrd

A bit vexed that at the last minute I have a 9am meeting on my day off, particularly as Thursday's going to be a 9am-7pm day. Grrrrr to this. However, I'm completely over-the-top geeked for Whedon's _Much Ado_!


----------



## 1love_emily

I confess that I like watching documentaries about events that are sad. I don't know why. But I do.


----------



## Allie Cat

Lamia said:


> I confess I hate being a woman sometimes. Menustration does not make me feel all magical and part of the universe and creation it makes me feel like tiny scorpions are trying to sting their way out of my guts and nether parts.
> 
> F#$% nature





HottiMegan said:


> OMG Lamia you took the words right out of my head. I am hatin' being a woman today, i just want to curl up in bed until it passes. I don't feel like scorpions but like something is burst inside of me and filling up my abdomen past its capacity.
> 
> I sort of look forward to menopause...



I'll trade y'all


----------



## Lamia

Had a second trans vaginal ultrasound....did not like. They told me I have a complex thick endometric layer. I have to start meds on Nov 7th to try to shed it if not I have to have a D and C.  Good news the mystery item in my cervix is gone.


----------



## MisticalMisty

Lamia said:


> Had a second trans vaginal ultrasound....did not like. They told me I have a complex thick endometric layer. I have to start meds on Nov 7th to try to shed it if not I have to have a D and C.  Good news the mystery item in my cervix is gone.



I had a D and C because I had polyps on my uterus. It wasn't bad at all. I was less sore from that than I was from my pap smear.

It was great. My periods weren't as heavy and I just had an easier time during my period. I told my gyno that I would be back every few years to clean out my cobwebs as I called it. I'm about due now that I think about it.

Good luck!


----------



## BBWbonnie

I confess I miss my cat and her squishy belly!


----------



## 1love_emily

I want to buy a vibrator... but I'm not ballsy enough to


----------



## HottiMegan

I was about your age when i got my first one. They're certainly fun!


----------



## LovelyLiz

1love_emily said:


> I want to buy a vibrator... but I'm not ballsy enough to



Not that you're asking for advice...but I'd start with something like this. And stick to a more independent, women-owned retailer like I linked to, instead of some of the other online retailers - because otherwise you can get put on a mailing list where you're getting these porno DVD offers for months with seductive women on the envelopes (or so I've heard...).


----------



## Isa

1love_emily said:


> I want to buy a vibrator... but I'm not ballsy enough to



Go right ahead, it will probably be the best purchase you ever make for yourself.


----------



## sgageny

IC I was an idiot over the weekend and slept with the ex.(purely on the agreement of it being a one nighter) 
Now he wont stop texting me. :doh:
always a baaadddd idea.


----------



## aocutiepi

IC I'm going on my first real "date" in over two years on Thursday. I'm really nervous about it. I've had the opportunity to go on dates since then, but I decided that I wasn't going to date men that didn't meet my expectations just to have a date. Anyway, after five years of doing online dating, I finally got contacted by a man who met my expectations (educated, not an atheist but not a minister, near my age). We've been talking for three weeks. He seems pretty awesome but I'm not getting my hopes up.

Anyway, I told my mom about him and then she mentioned it to my dad. After finding out that the guy is an athletic guy who runs every day, my dad said, "He knows you're not exactly skinny, right?"

And this is why I hadn't been getting my hopes up. *I realize that I am an idiot and this is all my fault*, but here goes... we met on OkCupid. I used to have pictures of me with my skinny friends as a body type comparison thing, but I took them down after one too many guys called me fat and then asked for "that hot blonde in the blue's" number. Men. I had planned on perhaps putting them back up with blurred out faces but hadn't gotten around to it. There was still one on there, but you couldn't really see their bodies as well (can see my large arms and a little double chin action) and we were crowded around a pizza that was half as big as a twin bed. The other photos I have are head and shoulders shots. I listed my body type as "Used Up" as I found none of the other "not skinny" descriptors fit me--not that "Used Up" does. But I never mentioned being fat explicitly. 

I'm paranoid that between the pizza, my fat face and the "Used Up" he might not have gotten it and I'm going to walk away from this date and not date _again_ for two years. Is there any way to bring this up in conversation without sounding like a total weirdo? I thought about asking him to be Facebook friends if he has Facebook where I have over 700 photos of myself, not all of them flattering (I don't always de-tag). 

I don't want to get there and be disappointed and I don't want him to, either. Maybe I'm not giving him enough credit and he's not a shallow guy.


ETA: I also realize that if I were going to ask him about my fatness I should have done it before now, but I'm perfectly capable of owning that mistake.



1love_emily said:


> I want to buy a vibrator... but I'm not ballsy enough to



DO IT.


----------



## HottiMegan

aocutiepi said:


> IC I'm going on my first real "date" in over two years on Thursday. I'm really nervous about it. I've had the opportunity to go on dates since then, but I decided that I wasn't going to date men that didn't meet my expectations just to have a date. Anyway, after five years of doing online dating, I finally got contacted by a man who met my expectations (educated, not an atheist but not a minister, near my age). We've been talking for three weeks. He seems pretty awesome but I'm not getting my hopes up.
> 
> Anyway, I told my mom about him and then she mentioned it to my dad. After finding out that the guy is an athletic guy who runs every day, my dad said, "He knows you're not exactly skinny, right?"
> 
> And this is why I hadn't been getting my hopes up. *I realize that I am an idiot and this is all my fault*, but here goes... we met on OkCupid. I used to have pictures of me with my skinny friends as a body type comparison thing, but I took them down after one too many guys called me fat and then asked for "that hot blonde in the blue's" number. Men. I had planned on perhaps putting them back up with blurred out faces but hadn't gotten around to it. There was still one on there, but you couldn't really see their bodies as well (can see my large arms and a little double chin action) and we were crowded around a pizza that was half as big as a twin bed. The other photos I have are head and shoulders shots. I listed my body type as "Used Up" as I found none of the other "not skinny" descriptors fit me--not that "Used Up" does. But I never mentioned being fat explicitly.
> 
> I'm paranoid that between the pizza, my fat face and the "Used Up" he might not have gotten it and I'm going to walk away from this date and not date _again_ for two years. Is there any way to bring this up in conversation without sounding like a total weirdo? I thought about asking him to be Facebook friends if he has Facebook where I have over 700 photos of myself, not all of them flattering (I don't always de-tag).
> 
> I don't want to get there and be disappointed and I don't want him to, either. Maybe I'm not giving him enough credit and he's not a shallow guy.
> 
> 
> ETA: I also realize that if I were going to ask him about my fatness I should have done it before now, but I'm perfectly capable of owning that mistake.
> 
> 
> 
> DO IT.




I have no advice but just wish you all the luck in this endeavor and that it turns out he's a great guy into YOU


----------



## HottiMegan

I sometimes wonder if i missed out on a lot with the whole dating and experimenting thing by marrying the first guy that i ever kissed/everything at the tender age of 19. I love my husband and we're so much alike but i just wonder some days.. (He lived before meeting me since he's 11 years older than me)


----------



## Jeeshcristina

IC I am clueless about where I want my life to go. Most days I just want to get into my car and drive until I run out of gas.


----------



## Deacone

I confess that I just broke the toilet seat at my workplace! Whoops! My first time doing it too


----------



## 1love_emily

I confess that I'm surprised I'd ever get to today. Today is my 6-month anniversary with my boyfriend, Derek! This is definitely the longest I've dated someone... and it's been so interesting as he lives in Colorado and I live in Nebraska. But I'd say we're still going strong <3


----------



## Jeeshcristina

1love_emily said:


> I confess that I'm surprised I'd ever get to today. Today is my 6-month anniversary with my boyfriend, Derek! This is definitely the longest I've dated someone... and it's been so interesting as he lives in Colorado and I live in Nebraska. But I'd say we're still going strong <3



Congrats Emily! That is so awesome!!


----------



## CAMellie

IC that I'm rather worried about meeting Adrian's extended family after the wedding Thursday. I've grown "accustomed" to the sideways glances of strangers...but the thought of those same looks from my soon to be "family" scares me.


----------



## lindso604

I confess I've never been kissed outside of an acting scene or truth or dare, and I've never gone on a date. Sad story. I'm pretty outgoing, too, so I don't know what the actual issue is.

Coming on this website makes me feel better about life, though, even though I've only been here for, like, a week


----------



## Tracyarts

IC: That I stepped out of my physical comfort zone today, and was really glad that I did. My husband and I went to the renaissance festival, and I wanted to ride the giant swings SO bad. But the last time I had done that, I was a lot younger and a lot smaller and was worried about being able to manage getting in and out of the swing now. Well, he talked me into it, and it was awesome! After the ride was over, I just needed him and one of the strong young guys who worked the swings to pull me up. It was so not the big deal I was afraid it'd turn out to be. 

Tracy


----------



## LovelyLiz

Tracyarts said:


> IC: That I stepped out of my physical comfort zone today, and was really glad that I did. My husband and I went to the renaissance festival, and I wanted to ride the giant swings SO bad. But the last time I had done that, I was a lot younger and a lot smaller and was worried about being able to manage getting in and out of the swing now. Well, he talked me into it, and it was awesome! After the ride was over, I just needed him and one of the strong young guys who worked the swings to pull me up. It was so not the big deal I was afraid it'd turn out to be.
> 
> Tracy



Good on you, Tracy! I'm so glad to hear that. We need encouraging stories like that around here. Sounds like a really great time.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Tracyarts said:


> IC: That I stepped out of my physical comfort zone today, and was really glad that I did. My husband and I went to the renaissance festival, and I wanted to ride the giant swings SO bad. But the last time I had done that, I was a lot younger and a lot smaller and was worried about being able to manage getting in and out of the swing now. Well, he talked me into it, and it was awesome! After the ride was over, I just needed him and one of the strong young guys who worked the swings to pull me up. It was so not the big deal I was afraid it'd turn out to be.
> 
> Tracy



I sooooo understand this feeling- especially when I shy away from so many amusement rides my children want me to ride with them. Glad it worked out well and you had a good time


----------



## Isa

Tracyarts said:


> IC: That I stepped out of my physical comfort zone today, and was really glad that I did. My husband and I went to the renaissance festival, and I wanted to ride the giant swings SO bad. But the last time I had done that, I was a lot younger and a lot smaller and was worried about being able to manage getting in and out of the swing now. Well, he talked me into it, and it was awesome! After the ride was over, I just needed him and one of the strong young guys who worked the swings to pull me up. It was so not the big deal I was afraid it'd turn out to be.
> 
> Tracy



Awesome! Glad that you had a great time and did this!


----------



## AnnMarie

aocutiepi said:


> IC I'm going on my first real "date" in over two years on Thursday. I'm really nervous about it. I've had the opportunity to go on dates since then, but I decided that I wasn't going to date men that didn't meet my expectations just to have a date. Anyway, after five years of doing online dating, I finally got contacted by a man who met my expectations (educated, not an atheist but not a minister, near my age). We've been talking for three weeks. He seems pretty awesome but I'm not getting my hopes up.
> 
> Anyway, I told my mom about him and then she mentioned it to my dad. After finding out that the guy is an athletic guy who runs every day, my dad said, "He knows you're not exactly skinny, right?"
> 
> And this is why I hadn't been getting my hopes up. *I realize that I am an idiot and this is all my fault*, but here goes... we met on OkCupid. I used to have pictures of me with my skinny friends as a body type comparison thing, but I took them down after one too many guys called me fat and then asked for "that hot blonde in the blue's" number. Men. I had planned on perhaps putting them back up with blurred out faces but hadn't gotten around to it. There was still one on there, but you couldn't really see their bodies as well (can see my large arms and a little double chin action) and we were crowded around a pizza that was half as big as a twin bed. The other photos I have are head and shoulders shots. I listed my body type as "Used Up" as I found none of the other "not skinny" descriptors fit me--not that "Used Up" does. But I never mentioned being fat explicitly.
> 
> I'm paranoid that between the pizza, my fat face and the "Used Up" he might not have gotten it and I'm going to walk away from this date and not date _again_ for two years. Is there any way to bring this up in conversation without sounding like a total weirdo? I thought about asking him to be Facebook friends if he has Facebook where I have over 700 photos of myself, not all of them flattering (I don't always de-tag).
> 
> I don't want to get there and be disappointed and I don't want him to, either. Maybe I'm not giving him enough credit and he's not a shallow guy.
> 
> 
> ETA: I also realize that if I were going to ask him about my fatness I should have done it before now, but I'm perfectly capable of owning that mistake.
> 
> 
> 
> DO IT.




How did it go?


----------



## littlefairywren

About 12-13 weeks ago I started a diet and took up walking to get a little healthier. I was going for walks every night, and I would try and push myself to walk a little faster and a little further each time. My knees were complaining but I ignored them, telling myself that I was getting better and each wee pound that I lost would make it easier. 

Then Hamish and I went away for a little trip that involved a lot of walking and scrambling in and out of buses. My right knee was in a lot of pain and each day got harder. It felt like I was starting out with my exercise all over again, when instead it should have been getting easier. On our day to fly home, I could barely put any weight on my right leg. The trip home was very difficult and at one point it hurt so much that all I could do was cry.

One week of rest and I was no better. After much reluctance and much badgering I went and had an xray which confirmed that I have severe osteoarthritis in my right knee, and I am frightened that it won't end there. The medication for my dicky knee ended up making me feel like a drunken monkey who had eaten one too many fermented bananas, and I slept constantly as a result. But it also filled my lungs with fluid that almost had me admitted into hospital last week and I'm still battling for air now as I wait for another medication to work it's magic. To make matters worse, I live with a smoker and that is a difficulty that is driving me to distraction.

I hate that I feel like a prisoner in my own body and that I am feeling it's limitations when I want to do so much right now. HATE it!!


----------



## aocutiepi

AnnMarie said:


> How did it go?



Ugh, he's had to cancel twice on me because of work. Still haven't met yet.


----------



## spiritangel

littlefairywren said:


> About 12-13 weeks ago I started a diet and took up walking to get a little healthier. I was going for walks every night, and I would try and push myself to walk a little faster and a little further each time. My knees were complaining but I ignored them, telling myself that I was getting better and each wee pound that I lost would make it easier.
> 
> Then Hamish and I went away for a little trip that involved a lot of walking and scrambling in and out of buses. My right knee was in a lot of pain and each day got harder. It felt like I was starting out with my exercise all over again, when instead it should have been getting easier. On our day to fly home, I could barely put any weight on my right leg. The trip home was very difficult and at one point it hurt so much that all I could do was cry.
> 
> One week of rest and I was no better. After much reluctance and much badgering I went and had an xray which confirmed that I have severe osteoarthritis in my right knee, and I am frightened that it won't end there. The medication for my dicky knee ended up making me feel like a drunken monkey who had eaten one too many fermented bananas, and I slept constantly as a result. But it also filled my lungs with fluid that almost had me admitted into hospital last week and I'm still battling for air now as I wait for another medication to work it's magic. To make matters worse, I live with a smoker and that is a difficulty that is driving me to distraction.
> 
> I hate that I feel like a prisoner in my own body and that I am feeling it's limitations when I want to do so much right now. HATE it!!




Lots of squishy hugs and fairy magic to you (well that little bear might have a wish or two in her you never know)

I hope you get this sorted and at least get the pain to subside I am so sorry to hear this life seems to not want people to catch a break some days 

lots and lots of squishy hugs


----------



## 1love_emily

So I'm sitting in my first class of the day. Its aural skills, so pretty much the system making all of the instrumentalists sing. Its painful.

And my ass doesn't fit in the desk. I'm more or less perched on my bum, using every muscle in my legs to not embarrass myself. Also, my stomach is taking up most of the desk. This absolutely sucks. I want to go back to my old class room or go back to bed. Or go Denver to visit Derek... And then go to bed (only with him  ) haha!


----------



## Tau

littlefairywren said:


> About 12-13 weeks ago I started a diet and took up walking to get a little healthier. I was going for walks every night, and I would try and push myself to walk a little faster and a little further each time. My knees were complaining but I ignored them, telling myself that I was getting better and each wee pound that I lost would make it easier.
> 
> Then Hamish and I went away for a little trip that involved a lot of walking and scrambling in and out of buses. My right knee was in a lot of pain and each day got harder. It felt like I was starting out with my exercise all over again, when instead it should have been getting easier. On our day to fly home, I could barely put any weight on my right leg. The trip home was very difficult and at one point it hurt so much that all I could do was cry.
> 
> One week of rest and I was no better. After much reluctance and much badgering I went and had an xray which confirmed that I have severe osteoarthritis in my right knee, and I am frightened that it won't end there. The medication for my dicky knee ended up making me feel like a drunken monkey who had eaten one too many fermented bananas, and I slept constantly as a result. But it also filled my lungs with fluid that almost had me admitted into hospital last week and I'm still battling for air now as I wait for another medication to work it's magic. To make matters worse, I live with a smoker and that is a difficulty that is driving me to distraction.
> 
> I hate that I feel like a prisoner in my own body and that I am feeling it's limitations when I want to do so much right now. HATE it!!



Love to you angel. I'm sending healing hugs and hopes that it doesn't turn out to be that big a problem. Hopefully with the right meds and rest it will heal up again. And I so know what you mean bout being trapped by your body. The only way I cope is to take it slowly and when something feels too sore to listen to that pain and pause *HUGZ!!!*


----------



## LovelyLiz

littlefairywren said:


> About 12-13 weeks ago I started a diet and took up walking to get a little healthier. I was going for walks every night, and I would try and push myself to walk a little faster and a little further each time. My knees were complaining but I ignored them, telling myself that I was getting better and each wee pound that I lost would make it easier.
> 
> Then Hamish and I went away for a little trip that involved a lot of walking and scrambling in and out of buses. My right knee was in a lot of pain and each day got harder. It felt like I was starting out with my exercise all over again, when instead it should have been getting easier. On our day to fly home, I could barely put any weight on my right leg. The trip home was very difficult and at one point it hurt so much that all I could do was cry.
> 
> One week of rest and I was no better. After much reluctance and much badgering I went and had an xray which confirmed that I have severe osteoarthritis in my right knee, and I am frightened that it won't end there. The medication for my dicky knee ended up making me feel like a drunken monkey who had eaten one too many fermented bananas, and I slept constantly as a result. But it also filled my lungs with fluid that almost had me admitted into hospital last week and I'm still battling for air now as I wait for another medication to work it's magic. To make matters worse, I live with a smoker and that is a difficulty that is driving me to distraction.
> 
> I hate that I feel like a prisoner in my own body and that I am feeling it's limitations when I want to do so much right now. HATE it!!



Awwwwwww...((((BIG HUGS, LFW.)))) That all sounds so hard. I will hope with you that the new medicine kicks in ASAP - there is really nothing worse than feeling like your breathing is disrupted. You are well-loved in the midst of all this - hope that brings some comfort and solace during this rough period. Take care, chickadee.


----------



## Surlysomething

My heart has been hurt so much lately that I actually feel sick to my stomach.


----------



## Jeeshcristina

Surlysomething said:


> My heart has been hurt so much lately that I actually feel sick to my stomach.



 Sounds like you need a chick flick, and a pint of full fat ice cream.


----------



## aocutiepi

1love_emily said:


> So I'm sitting in my first class of the day. Its aural skills, so pretty much the system making all of the instrumentalists sing. Its painful.
> 
> And my ass doesn't fit in the desk. I'm more or less perched on my bum, using every muscle in my legs to not embarrass myself. Also, my stomach is taking up most of the desk. This absolutely sucks. I want to go back to my old class room or go back to bed. Or go Denver to visit Derek... And then go to bed (only with him  ) haha!



Haha... any instrumental pedagogy classes are generally painful for instrumentalists to hear singers (like me) attempt.


----------



## Jeeshcristina

IC - I laughed when I saw this on an old boyfriends Facebook page:
"if yo thighs ain't touchin, you ain't thick enough"

My suspicions of him being a closet FA were right!
Muahahaha


----------



## PunkyGurly74

IC I have a job interview in the AM ...Great job, amazing pay and benefits. I really want and need this job. I am hoping for the best...:: crossing everything:: I am not sure why I have been able to not get the last few jobs I interviewed for ...I am hoping this one is better. I just really wish I had had the money to get my hair and nails done and buy new shoes and clothes...as, a job that pays this much, I do believe they do take appearance into account.....


----------



## Jeeshcristina

PunkyGurly74 said:


> IC I have a job interview in the AM ...Great job, amazing pay and benefits. I really want and need this job. I am hoping for the best...:: crossing everything:: I am not sure why I have been able to not get the last few jobs I interviewed for ...I am hoping this one is better. I just really wish I had had the money to get my hair and nails done and buy new shoes and clothes...as, a job that pays this much, I do believe they do take appearance into account.....



You will knock 'em dead!!!! Good luck!


----------



## bigmac

PunkyGurly74 said:


> IC I have a job interview in the AM ...Great job, amazing pay and benefits. I really want and need this job. I am hoping for the best...:: crossing everything:: I am not sure why I have been able to not get the last few jobs I interviewed for ...I am hoping this one is better. I just really wish I had had the money to get my hair and nails done and buy new shoes and clothes...as, a job that pays this much, I do believe they do take appearance into account.....




Rooting for you!!!


----------



## Surlysomething

I don't trust anyone.



I feel so fucked up.


----------



## CastingPearls

PunkyGurly74 said:


> IC I have a job interview in the AM ...Great job, amazing pay and benefits. I really want and need this job. I am hoping for the best...:: crossing everything:: I am not sure why I have been able to not get the last few jobs I interviewed for ...I am hoping this one is better. I just really wish I had had the money to get my hair and nails done and buy new shoes and clothes...as, a job that pays this much, I do believe they do take appearance into account.....


How did it go? I'm rooting for you!


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Well, the interview was about an hour - after some testing.

Turns out i went to HS with his cousins and we know some of the same people. This job would be fantastic and he complimented me and said I was intelligent and alluded to that I have a good background in relationship to this job. He also said part of the interview process was to check personality...etc.

I think it went really well, but, I have thought that before. I will hear something early next week. It is for a company, that in a downturn economy is experiencing record growth. Going from 70 t0 90 million in the last year and they expect to hit 300 million in 5 years. So it is a quickly growing and changing economy. The title is project administrator. I like the office and when I showed up to say I was there even the receptionist called me Tammy as opposed to Tamara. I got a good feel. I don't want to count my chickens or get too excited...this would allow me to A) move from this place and move closer to my niece and b) allow me to get back on my feet financially.

Here's to hoping the best!


----------



## Surlysomething

The only person I want to talk to is the very person I can't talk to.

My heart hurts.


----------



## littlefairywren

spiritangel said:


> Lots of squishy hugs and fairy magic to you (well that little bear might have a wish or two in her you never know)
> 
> I hope you get this sorted and at least get the pain to subside I am so sorry to hear this life seems to not want people to catch a break some days
> 
> lots and lots of squishy hugs





Tau said:


> Love to you angel. I'm sending healing hugs and hopes that it doesn't turn out to be that big a problem. Hopefully with the right meds and rest it will heal up again. And I so know what you mean bout being trapped by your body. The only way I cope is to take it slowly and when something feels too sore to listen to that pain and pause *HUGZ!!!*





mcbeth said:


> Awwwwwww...((((BIG HUGS, LFW.)))) That all sounds so hard. I will hope with you that the new medicine kicks in ASAP - there is really nothing worse than feeling like your breathing is disrupted. You are well-loved in the midst of all this - hope that brings some comfort and solace during this rough period. Take care, chickadee.



Thank you so very much, ladies. Your support and wee hugs help more than you realise xxxx


----------



## QuasimodoQT

Punky, hoping you hear back in the affirmative, soon!


----------



## TexasTrouble

I went to the dentist today and had a filling replaced. The dentist is thinking there was a bubble in the the first one and that was the cause of all the teeth and jaw pain I've been having. I really hope he's right. I know compared to a lot of things, I don't have it so bad, but it's really been painful and I've been really scared it's TMJ issues or something that won't go away.


----------



## spiritangel

IC That I am far more cynical re men and being hit on lately, but seriously dont be pushy and all lets move in together next week its just tooo to to much


----------



## mszwebs

IC I'm sick of being messaged on dating sites by guys who indicate their interest, and when I respond and return the interest, they NEVER RESPOND AGAIN.

Seriously. What the fuck?

Why are you messaging me, or asking me to message YOU, if you're not actually going to do it??

Idiots. All of them.


----------



## spiritangel

mszwebs said:


> IC I'm sick of being messaged on dating sites by guys who indicate their interest, and when I respond and return the interest, they NEVER RESPOND AGAIN.
> 
> Seriously. What the fuck?
> 
> Why are you messaging me, or asking me to message YOU, if you're not actually going to do it??
> 
> Idiots. All of them.



I feel for you and hear this or they send back a stupid less than one sentance reply and they get shorter


----------



## aocutiepi

IC that he hasn't messaged me since his message the other night cancelling our date for the second time and while a small part of me is pissed, I'm mostly just glad he's shown me why I should be thankful I didn't waste too much time on him.


----------



## Allie Cat

mszwebs said:


> IC I'm sick of being messaged on dating sites by guys who indicate their interest, and when I respond and return the interest, they NEVER RESPOND AGAIN.
> 
> Seriously. What the fuck?
> 
> Why are you messaging me, or asking me to message YOU, if you're not actually going to do it??
> 
> Idiots. All of them.



Oh my dog, I get that all the time. -_-


----------



## Jeeshcristina

I'm right there with ya, ladies.  It's quite frustrating.


----------



## Jeeshcristina

IC I have no freakin' idea how to use Tumblr.


----------



## Surlysomething

Jeeshcristina said:


> IC I have no freakin' idea how to use Tumblr.


 

You and me both. I don't get it.


----------



## Helen53105

IC That I... just want to make more friends. Men, women, puppies, online, real life. I'm not picky.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC that I absolutely hate this small minded state I live in with it's backwoods mentality..URGH!! No wonder people think we are stupid!


----------



## 1love_emily

I CANT SLEEP

All I can do is sit here and think about him and how I'd much rather be with him. I'd much rather just sit and watch him than be stuck her alone. I'd rather have to see him from behind a panel of glass where he couldn't see or hear me. As long as I could just watch him, I'd be happy. I miss him so much and I hope I can see him soon. He's been in my head all day.

I CANT SLEEP
I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM


----------



## MzDeeZyre

TexasTrouble said:


> I went to the dentist today and had a filling replaced. The dentist is thinking there was a bubble in the the first one and that was the cause of all the teeth and jaw pain I've been having. I really hope he's right. I know compared to a lot of things, I don't have it so bad, but it's really been painful and I've been really scared it's TMJ issues or something that won't go away.



I feel your pain!! I've been to the dentist 6 times in the last 3 weeks. 3 root canals, and 6 fillings later I've just found out I have another root canal to be done. Tooth pain is the worst, and I wish it would all go away. 

Ladies.... I have had an Ice chewing thing since as long as I can remember.... Don't do it!!! It has caused so much damage to my teeth. It's such a hard habit to break too..... sigh :doh:


----------



## Diana_Prince245

I'm going to force the student health center to put me on an affordable birth control pill today. I'm anxious enough with school. I don't need the one big stress relief in my life (the Bieber-haired one) to cause me more stress because a condom rips. I don't care if I'm over 35. I still need hormonal birth control!


----------



## CrystalDiorDoll

hmm confession eh? well Im really not into younger men but If given the chance I would fuck WakaFlockFlames brains out I love tall men and tattoos hes 6ft7 with tattoos yeah!!!:wubu:


----------



## Weeze

hey bbw board let's talk about how annoyingly messy female ejaculation can be. 
anyone? yay? nay?


----------



## Jeeshcristina

Weeze said:


> hey bbw board let's talk about how annoyingly messy female ejaculation can be.
> anyone? yay? nay?



Pretty sure this just made my whole day.


----------



## penguin

Weeze said:


> hey bbw board let's talk about how annoyingly messy female ejaculation can be.
> anyone? yay? nay?



That's over here.


----------



## 1love_emily

I miss Derek. That's all.


----------



## indigosky_

I confess that I over think ever small detail. And I think it starts to ruin a lot of stuff for me from friendships, relationships or my outlook on life. I just have to remember I have many things to be grateful for! <3


----------



## Surlysomething

I hate hurting so much.

I hate feeling like i've moved so far backwards that i'll never move forward again.

I hate that I trusted someone with my heart.


----------



## Theatrmuse/Kara

I'm sorry you are hurting, darling. Nothing hurts worse than a broken heart. Big hugs, Kara


----------



## Surlysomething

Theatrmuse/Kara said:


> I'm sorry you are hurting, darling. Nothing hurts worse than a broken heart. Big hugs, Kara


 

Thanks, Kara. I swear if I don't get some of the hurt out of my system via words or talk, i'm going to explode.

I didn't let my guard down for a long time because I was afraid to hurt, now I remember why.


----------



## hrd

I really want to chop off my hair.


----------



## prettyeyes77

I confess that I am conceded about my looks... Even being a big girl I have always gotten positive feedback about how pretty I am (at least in the face) and people have out and out told me I'm better looking than my sister who is much smaller and very pretty, so I am a little bit of a narcissist. hehe 

I also confess that I think I met a little boy distend to be an FA. He is about ten or eleven and he is friends with one of the little girls I nanny for. He is always hugging me whenever he comes over to play, and I was teasing him and the little girl the other day with the K-I-S-S-I-N-G song and he yelled NO! which I expected but then he started singing an altered version with his and my names louder than I was singing, and he was blushing as he did it, it was so cute! And when I mentioned what an affectionate kid he is to his mom she said he never hugs people. He has done some other things too, and I really think he could be a tiny little FA.


----------



## Lamia

I confess that I discoverd a while back that I can rest my boobs on the table at work. I know it sounds silly, but if you can try it please do. It amazed me how much easier it was to breathe when I lifted these puppies up on to this table and rested them there. I am glad I work alone so I can experiement  Also my neck and shoulders feel much better. The thought of a boob reduction sounds really good to me.


----------



## luscious_lulu

IC that I'm nervous about the ablation & tubal ligation I'm having done in less than 2 weeks. I've never had surgery before and don't know what to expect.


----------



## Weeze

Guys, I've been facebook-free for almost a month.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

IC I don't want to go to my friend's house for Thanksgiving tonight. Her brothers-in-law are weird, her father-in-law seems to think his kids are all his subordinates in the Army, and her mother-in-law keeps asking me for medical advice.

I shoulda just worked an early shift instead of an overnight one.


----------



## MisticalMisty

luscious_lulu said:


> IC that I'm nervous about the ablation & tubal ligation I'm having done in less than 2 weeks. I've never had surgery before and don't know what to expect.



Good luck. I've been considering the ablation. I really hope the surgery goes well and you heal quickly.


----------



## aocutiepi

luscious_lulu said:


> IC that I'm nervous about the ablation & tubal ligation I'm having done in less than 2 weeks. I've never had surgery before and don't know what to expect.





MisticalMisty said:


> Good luck. I've been considering the ablation. I really hope the surgery goes well and you heal quickly.



My mom had the ablation about five years ago and has been very satisfied with it. She'd had her tubes tied a few years before that. Surgery in general isn't the worst in my experience (though I've just had a gallbladder removed, no messing with my goods) but recovery can be rough--but nothing pain meds can't help with. You'll be fine though, you're a strong lady. Good luck to you, lulu.


----------



## luscious_lulu

aocutiepi said:


> My mom had the ablation about five years ago and has been very satisfied with it. She'd had her tubes tied a few years before that. Surgery in general isn't the worst in my experience (though I've just had a gallbladder removed, no messing with my goods) but recovery can be rough--but nothing pain meds can't help with. You'll be fine though, you're a strong lady. Good luck to you, lulu.




Thanks, I think for me fear of the unknown is what's really bothering me.

My confession: I'm supposed to have a hot date with this younger guy and my period started this morning. :doh:


----------



## luscious_lulu

MisticalMisty said:


> Good luck. I've been considering the ablation. I really hope the surgery goes well and you heal quickly.



Thank you 


...........


----------



## aocutiepi

luscious_lulu said:


> Thanks, I think for me fear of the unknown is what's really bothering me.
> 
> My confession: I'm supposed to have a hot date with this younger guy and my period started this morning. :doh:





Fear of the unknown = the worst. 


And: worst timing ever!


----------



## Windigo

Weeze said:


> Guys, I've been facebook-free for almost a month.



Congrats! That's a cool thing you did there


----------



## luscious_lulu

Woke up from my nap in a bad mood & decided to cancel my date.


----------



## spiritangel

IC I am gonna get into big trouble soon but thats ok


----------



## PunkyGurly74

IC that I fell tonight while walking the dogs. One of the side effects o..if being poor is not having proper attire for certain situations...like shoes that are water proof..or hell shoes or shoes that have traction..let alone an umbrella, rain coat...nada...zilch...zero. So, I fell and I twisted my good knee under me on wet terrain..I laid there in pain ...I also hit my head on the edge of the concrete and cut my hand....I could not move and I could not put weight on my knee.... I had no one to call...the dogs are hovering over me as I am laying there swearing and crying with very concerned looks ( I like to believe it was over me...me likely over their ability to go poo ) and I realized, embarrassingly and pathetically..I had no one to call. No friends outside of people you talk to at work and hell men do not find me datable...so...no guy to call. Just being completely honest here. As this is horribly embarrassing so I might as well keep it real. I'm a very big girl..getting up on my own...with no way to put weight on one knee - wasn't happening...and with nothing to hold on to for support...I laid there for 20 minutes on the cold, wet, muddy grown, my legs is still red from cold two hours later and hurts a bit.....cars going past me...in a dark city park ...I had to call my neighbor...she came and I was able to finally get up and she put us in her van and drove us home....

I'm alive...I'm okay but in that moment and now..I'm tired of this...I want a change, I want the strength to lose the weight and change my life. I'm tired of all my strength going towards trying to figure out how to find a job, or earn extra money and keep a roof over my bleeping head. I want a GD break. I need a break. 3 bleeping years of shit. When is it my turn. I confess that I am very angry at the universe...that I want to be completely selfish and I want a good paying job that I know I can do and I should have so that I can breathe and fix the rest of m f'ing life before I do something stupid one day.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

spiritangel said:


> IC I am gonna get into big trouble soon but thats ok



That's not always a bad thing.......


----------



## WVMountainrear

I'm so overwhelmed with disappointment right now that I can't stop crying. This long distance thing is so hard. He's completely worth it, but every time something falls through, I get so deflated. I worry about him forgetting me...him getting so used to not seeing me that seeing me doesn't become a priority anymore. I worry we'll lose our connection...that we'll forget how happy we are when we're together through the sadness of not getting to be together as often as we'd like.

Our relationship is solid, and I know I'm being stupid. I honestly can't imagine ever being with anyone else. It just hurts having him so far away. I've never done the long distance thing before...I knew it would be hard, and I knew there would be times likes this...

I just want to be with him.


----------



## Jeeshcristina

IC to finally having the life I always thought I wanted, but feeling emptier than ever.


----------



## penguin

Summer is here and with it is sweat and chafing, two events that make me feel so unattractive. IC I was walking to pick up my daughter from daycare and my bra was chafing under my boob so much that I had to stop, face the tree of the closest house (hoping no one was home) and quickly tuck a tissue in under my bra as a buffer. It worked, but shit like this frustrates me.


----------



## WVMountainrear

I need to stop being so knee-jerk emotional and maintain perspective. The situation may not be ideal, but he is. And, Lord knows, things could be much worse for us. Hell, things aren't even bad for us- they're wonderful, which is why it's so hard being so far apart. *sigh*

This was my fault in that when I thought there was still a possibility that he would be here this coming weekend I didn't want to be on my period, so I skipped the placebo week. The hormones were good kindling for my initial letdown.


----------



## luscious_lulu

lovelylady78 said:


> I need to stop being so knee-jerk emotional and maintain perspective. The situation may not be ideal, but he is. And, Lord knows, things could be much worse for us. Hell, things aren't even bad for us- they're wonderful, which is why it's so hard being so far apart. *sigh*
> 
> This was my fault in that when I thought there was still a possibility that he would be here this coming weekend I didn't want to be on my period, so I skipped the placebo week. The hormones were good kindling for my initial letdown.


(((hugs))) you are worth it too!


----------



## WVMountainrear

luscious_lulu said:


> (((hugs))) you are worth it too!



Thank you, sweetie. I know that, but it's definitely nice to hear it.


----------



## Shan34

I really wish that I could stand concretely in what I need or want. But I bat everything back and forth so much that it all ends up being one big tangled piece of shit that I put on a shelf until I must look at it again.


----------



## Lamia

penguin said:


> Summer is here and with it is sweat and chafing, two events that make me feel so unattractive. IC I was walking to pick up my daughter from daycare and my bra was chafing under my boob so much that I had to stop, face the tree of the closest house (hoping no one was home) and quickly tuck a tissue in under my bra as a buffer. It worked, but shit like this frustrates me.



I kept looking at the date and wondering if this is an old post then realized you're in Austrailia.  Enjoy your summer down there. One of the things that helps me with chafing is I use medicated power EVERY day whether I have a rash or not. This really does help and makes me mad that I suffered for years for no reason. Now I rarely get rashes unless I forgot to apply some powder. It has to be medicated though...baby powder just makes a paste and is much worse.


----------



## ThatFatGirl

PunkyGurly74 said:


> IC that I fell tonight while walking the dogs. One of the side effects o..if being poor is not having proper attire for certain situations...like shoes that are water proof..or hell shoes or shoes that have traction..let alone an umbrella, rain coat...nada...zilch...zero. So, I fell and I twisted my good knee under me on wet terrain..I laid there in pain ...I also hit my head on the edge of the concrete and cut my hand....I could not move and I could not put weight on my knee.... I had no one to call...the dogs are hovering over me as I am laying there swearing and crying with very concerned looks ( I like to believe it was over me...me likely over their ability to go poo ) and I realized, embarrassingly and pathetically..I had no one to call. No friends outside of people you talk to at work and hell men do not find me datable...so...no guy to call. Just being completely honest here. As this is horribly embarrassing so I might as well keep it real. I'm a very big girl..getting up on my own...with no way to put weight on one knee - wasn't happening...and with nothing to hold on to for support...I laid there for 20 minutes on the cold, wet, muddy grown, my legs is still red from cold two hours later and hurts a bit.....cars going past me...in a dark city park ...I had to call my neighbor...she came and I was able to finally get up and she put us in her van and drove us home....
> 
> I'm alive...I'm okay but in that moment and now..I'm tired of this...I want a change, I want the strength to lose the weight and change my life. I'm tired of all my strength going towards trying to figure out how to find a job, or earn extra money and keep a roof over my bleeping head. I want a GD break. I need a break. 3 bleeping years of shit. When is it my turn. I confess that I am very angry at the universe...that I want to be completely selfish and I want a good paying job that I know I can do and I should have so that I can breathe and fix the rest of m f'ing life before I do something stupid one day.



How are you doing? Falling is the worst and what you described alone in a dark park, unable to get yourself back up is a nightmare. I hope your knee is feeling better and your spirit has healed some too. Sorry this happened to you.


----------



## Windigo

Ugh, been out for dinner with my dad yesterday and he asked about the guy I'm dating. My dad asked ''when you met this guy, you were still skinny, doesn't he have a problem with you gaining such a BIG amount of weight??'' 

I said ''dad, I've known him for 10 years now, he's also gained weight since I met him. He doesn't care about it and sure doesn't complain about something he has done himself''. And my dad was like 'oh..okay.. but you're sure you shouldn't lose weight for him?''

 Beh, that kind of conversation makes me so angry. Like I can't be attractive for ANYONE being my size.


----------



## BubbleButtBabe

IC I am not really feeling Christmas this year..I just don't want to do it..


----------



## PunkyGurly74

ThatFatGirl said:


> How are you doing? Falling is the worst and what you described alone in a dark park, unable to get yourself back up is a nightmare. I hope your knee is feeling better and your spirit has healed some too. Sorry this happened to you.



Sorry, I just saw this, thank you for asking. I have been working 10 and 12 hour days to make extra dinero... well, actually by the middle of the night I realized I had bruised my ribs and spent the next two day crying a lot...i can only imagine the pain of those who actually break ribs. So, I just have been popping a lot of pills, but, I'm a lot better...thank you for asking. And hoping I can afford real winter boots and shoes so that doesn't happen again.


----------



## LovelyLiz

PunkyGurly74 said:


> Sorry, I just saw this, thank you for asking. I have been working 10 and 12 hour days to make extra dinero... well, actually by the middle of the night I realized I had bruised my ribs and spent the next two day crying a lot...i can only imagine the pain of those who actually break ribs. So, I just have been popping a lot of pills, but, I'm a lot better...thank you for asking. And hoping I can afford real winter boots and shoes so that doesn't happen again.



Glad to hear that you're feeling better, and you have found some work too! Hope things do get better for you, PunkyGurly. Sounds like things are on the upswing, and I hope that keeps on keepin on.


----------



## ChubbyPuppy

BubbleButtBabe said:


> IC I am not really feeling Christmas this year..I just don't want to do it..



Me too. 

I'm hoping it's just because I've been stressed over school stuff and maybe, just maybe, after the semester ends I'll start feeling it. *shrugs*


----------



## nettie

Snowy walk in the park yesterday, Rachmaninoff on the iPod as I attempted to focus on paperwork this afternoon, and mistletoe hung in the doorway tonight.... A lethal, lethal combination. Heaven help the next man who asks me out is all I'm saying.


----------



## Amatrix

I confess my hips knocked over an entire display at my second job, and my 2 coworkers tried to help me pick things up- but the manager busted her uniform jacket and the other girl popped a button on her sweater.

It has been decided I no longer get to bring treats.

....For them. Yea, I am still going to bring my food and snacks.


----------



## Jeeshcristina

Amatrix said:


> I confess my hips knocked over an entire display at my second job, and my 2 coworkers tried to help me pick things up- but the manager busted her uniform jacket and the other girl popped a button on her sweater.
> 
> It has been decided I no longer get to bring treats.
> 
> ....For them. Yea, I am still going to bring my food and snacks.



This sounds like something that could happen on a tv show!


----------



## LovelyLiz

Jeeshcristina said:


> This sounds like something that could happen on a tv show!



I was thinking that too. And that if you had filmed the whole thing, I bet you could make a little bit of fast dough by way of another section of this site...


----------



## Surlysomething

I've been trying to think of other things.

Funny how stubborn your heart can be.


----------



## BBWbonnie

I really miss my family...even though I think they do my head in all the time when I'm not with them I lose myself


----------



## penguin

My daughter has a sister now, as her father and his girlfriend had their baby this morning. While I definitely don't want to be with him, IC I'm envious and a bit bitter than despite acting like a douche all these years, he gets his happy family. I've been happy single, but it hurts that I do the right thing, take the high road and do what's right, even though I don't want to, and he gets to be an ass and gets what he wants while I struggle to make ends meet and raise our child. It just doesn't feel fair sometimes.


----------



## gobettiepurple

I confess that, after buying a few cute wintery items this afternoon, that I promised myself that I would get rid of any old clothes and clean my room, but instead, I'm engrossed in chocolate cake and a law and order svu episode!


----------



## Shan34

IC that I'm getting bored in Alaska....


----------



## *Ravenous*

penguin said:


> My daughter has a sister now, as her father and his girlfriend had their baby this morning. While I definitely don't want to be with him, IC I'm envious and a bit bitter than despite acting like a douche all these years, he gets his happy family. I've been happy single, but it hurts that I do the right thing, take the high road and do what's right, even though I don't want to, and he gets to be an ass and gets what he wants while I struggle to make ends meet and raise our child. It just doesn't feel fair sometimes.



I can totally understand that feeling... My son's dad is with someone and gets to live responsibility free in terms of our kid he does absolutely nothing for him...and I am stuck trying to scratch and survive...It sucks but just know your a kick ass mom and your daughter will be so greatful...


----------



## Emma

My friend is cancelling her xmas party because shes put on some weight. Shes not skinny but found out today at the doctors that shes gained 30lbs over the year. I wish that everyone else could feel ok with themselves and realise that their self worth isn't decided by a number on the scale. hmmmpf


----------



## Jeeshcristina

IC that I really want a cuddle buddy right now.


----------



## Lovelyone

I confess that being lonely is hard but it's especially lonely on the holidays.


----------



## aocutiepi

CurvyEm said:


> My friend is cancelling her xmas party because shes put on some weight. Shes not skinny but found out today at the doctors that shes gained 30lbs over the year. I wish that everyone else could feel ok with themselves and realise that their self worth isn't decided by a number on the scale. hmmmpf



Me too. Pretty sad, honestly. The holidays are about sharing the love of your friends and families... my heart breaks for the people out there who let their jeans size or the scale ruin that happiness.

And this is coming from someone who is pretty Grinchy about the whole holiday season.


----------



## aztecprinc3ss

IC that I think I'm going to be the family spinster and don't mind too much...


----------



## Diana_Prince245

Men have been ignoring me for most of the past two years. But since Bieber Hair and I started doing whatever it is we're doing (slightly more than FWB, but not quite dating), they have been coming out of the woodwork. The TSA agent complimented my hair flower today. I suppose he could be a gay man who likes rhinestones, but that doesn't seem likely in Idaho outside of the college aged gays.


----------



## Lovelyone

The "Silent Night" pampers baby commercial makes me tear-up.


----------



## Mayla

IC, I'm loving this forum because it's helping me accept myself, when I've been fighting with myself for so many years.

Thanks, DIMS!


----------



## WVMountainrear

I've had a very strange and emotional day.

One of my best friends (who I also happen to work with) sent me a message on Sunday telling me that she was very sick and asked me to cover court for her on Monday. I did it without asking any questions but got the feeling that something was really wrong from the sparseness of her words. I stayed in contact with her about her court and continually told her that I hoped she felt better soon, but she was still guarded about what was going on. Shortly before noon today, she told me what had been happening. I knew that she and her husband have been trying (and for a long time now) to conceive. She said that she'd gotten pregnant, and the morning sickness had been overwhelming. She made an appointment to have her first ultrasound on Monday. At that appointment, the doctor could not see the baby. The sac was present and intact, everything appeared normal but for the fact that she didn't see a baby. They told her that she may have had a miscarriage, but her body did not realize it (they gave her a term for it). Her body was proceeding on as though she was still with child even though she had lost the baby. The doctor indicated that there could be other explanations but that they would do some blood work and have her back for another appointment on Wednesday (today). She said that the blood work numbers were high and read as though she was definitely pregnant (to the level that there should be some semblance of a fetus observable). She got a call (before her appointment) from a surgery clinic letting her know that her doctor had already scheduled her for a procedure on Thursday (if she had this condition wherein she miscarried but her body continued to proceed as though she was pregnant without the baby, they would have to do surgery to remove the sac, etc.). She took that as a final word from the doctor and was crushed. She was extremely upset and wanted to let me know what was going on because she had to have this procedure, and I think really just wanted some support. We got off the phone so she could go to her doctor's appointment. I met another friend for lunch. During lunch, I got a call from my friend who had just been to her doctor's appointment. They'd performed another ultrasound and picked up a heartbeat! I was floored. How do you not see a baby on an ultrasound two days ago?!? Apparently it was an issue of positioning (according to the doctor)...plus my friend said it seemed this equipment was a more advanced ultrasound and showed more detail. So she went from grieving over a miscarriage to finding out an hour and a half later that she was actually still pregnant. It's been an emotional rollercoaster for me just being her friend and caring about her and worrying for her, so I can't imagine how she and her husband must be feeling. I'm praying so hard that everything goes smoothly for them from here on out. I know they've wanted this more than anything for a very long time. It's one of those situations where I'm both nervous and excited for them.

My other friend told me a couple weeks ago that he and his wife were expecting as well (and they had not intended to have kids for a couple more years). I also went through the whole process of wondering how she would react emotionally to having lost a baby that she and her husband had wanted and tried so hard to have and seeing that another colleague and his wife had an accident conception when they weren't even ready or trying... And now, we can celebrate two upcoming births in our office!

It's been a draining day. 

Oh- and I started out the day (before any of this happened) making a bad dig at/joke to my boyfriend and consequently irritating the hell out of him (although that had not been my intention), and now I feel even shittier about that because I'm all emotional and just want everyone to be happy and feeling no stress. I know...I'm a mess. I'm just glad that things are ok right now. And I hope they stay that way. Seeing people you care about hurt is the hardest thing in the world.


----------



## AuntHen

lovelylady78 said:


> I've had a very strange and emotional day.
> 
> One of my best friends (who I also happen to work with) sent me a message on Sunday telling me that she was very sick and asked me to cover court for her on Monday. I did it without asking any questions but got the feeling that something was really wrong from the sparseness of her words. I stayed in contact with her about her court and continually told her that I hoped she felt better soon, but she was still guarded about what was going on. Shortly before noon today, she told me what had been happening. I knew that she and her husband have been trying (and for a long time now) to conceive. She said that she'd gotten pregnant, and the morning sickness had been overwhelming. She made an appointment to have her first ultrasound on Monday. At that appointment, the doctor could not see the baby. The sac was present and intact, everything appeared normal but for the fact that she didn't see a baby. They told her that she may have had a miscarriage, but her body did not realize it (they gave her a term for it). Her body was proceeding on as though she was still with child even though she had lost the baby. The doctor indicated that there could be other explanations but that they would do some blood work and have her back for another appointment on Wednesday (today). She said that the blood work numbers were high and read as though she was definitely pregnant (to the level that there should be some semblance of a fetus observable). She got a call (before her appointment) from a surgery clinic letting her know that her doctor had already scheduled her for a procedure on Thursday (if she had this condition wherein she miscarried but her body continued to proceed as though she was pregnant without the baby, they would have to do surgery to remove the sac, etc.). She took that as a final word from the doctor and was crushed. She was extremely upset and wanted to let me know what was going on because she had to have this procedure, and I think really just wanted some support. We got off the phone so she could go to her doctor's appointment. I met another friend for lunch. During lunch, I got a call from my friend who had just been to her doctor's appointment. They'd performed another ultrasound and picked up a heartbeat! I was floored. How do you not see a baby on an ultrasound two days ago?!? Apparently it was an issue of positioning (according to the doctor)...plus my friend said it seemed this equipment was a more advanced ultrasound and showed more detail. So she went from grieving over a miscarriage to finding out an hour and a half later that she was actually still pregnant. It's been an emotional rollercoaster for me just being her friend and caring about her and worrying for her, so I can't imagine how she and her husband must be feeling. I'm praying so hard that everything goes smoothly for them from here on out. I know they've wanted this more than anything for a very long time. It's one of those situations where I'm both nervous and excited for them.
> 
> My other friend told me a couple weeks ago that he and his wife were expecting as well (and they had not intended to have kids for a couple more years). I also went through the whole process of wondering how she would react emotionally to having lost a baby that she and her husband had wanted and tried so hard to have and seeing that another colleague and his wife had an accident conception when they weren't even ready or trying... And now, we can celebrate two upcoming births in our office!
> 
> It's been a draining day.
> 
> Oh- and I started out the day (before any of this happened) making a bad dig at/joke to my boyfriend and consequently irritating the hell out of him (although that had not been my intention), and now I feel even shittier about that because I'm all emotional and just want everyone to be happy and feeling no stress. I know...I'm a mess. I'm just glad that things are ok right now. And I hope they stay that way. Seeing people you care about hurt is the hardest thing in the world.



Wow! I am so happy that your co-worker received that "heartbeat". I hope all goes extremely well for her and that your boyfriend gets over his irritation very soon and sends you chocolates or something!


----------



## WVMountainrear

fat9276 said:


> Wow! I am so happy that your co-worker received that "heartbeat". I hope all goes extremely well for her and that your boyfriend gets over his irritation very soon and sends you chocolates or something!



Thanks! But _*I*_ should probably send _*him*_ chocolates. I thought I was being funny, but apparently it was more of an insensitive comment than I anticipated it would be.


----------



## luscious_lulu

Lovelylady you are a good friend and a kind soul. 


IC - my back is killing me. I think I might be getting my period. If only my surgery had happened when it was scheduled, then I wouldn't have to deal with my period any more. *sigh*

I also confess I had a FGD (fat girl down) this morning. I slipped getting into the shower & now I have a nice big bruise & swelling on my leg. :doh:


----------



## Surlysomething

The tears have finally stopped flowing but my heart still yearns.


----------



## Mishty

Even with the discount, and the money from my parents, I got a crap pair of Guess frames when I got my eye exam this week. Only two styles and brands fit my fat head....I confess I don't mind having fat everything, but sometimes having a massive fat face sucks. :\


----------



## MisticalMisty

Sorry Misty..I feel for you...My ears are actually crooked..so when I find glasses that fit my face..one side is always droopy because one ear is lower than the other...suuuuccckkksss!


my confession..Tom is MIA this month...4 days late so far. I've been regular for almost 2 full years with out pills, etc. He better show his ass up or there will be hell to pay..lol


----------



## LovelyLiz

Today I am grateful for friends who step up and give love and make a big deal out of your birthday even when you don't feel much like celebrating, by making a cake like this, to inject some happiness into some hard times.


----------



## littlefairywren

mcbeth said:


> Today I am grateful for friends who step up and give love and make a big deal out of your birthday even when you don't feel much like celebrating, by making a cake like this, to inject some happiness into some hard times.



I hope whatever hard times you are facing don't weigh you down too much, mcbeth, and that you find your joy again. Happy Birthday, lovely lady. Lots of chubby hugs coming your way xx


----------



## LovelyLiz

littlefairywren said:


> I hope whatever hard times you are facing don't weigh you down too much, mcbeth, and that you find your joy again. Happy Birthday, lovely lady. Lots of chubby hugs coming your way xx



Thank you so much, LFW. It's going to be a hard year in some ways, just dealing with the very brutal illness of a parent. 

But I'm making jalapeno burgers and sweet potato fries for dinner! Maybe it's not a Christmas ham, but it'll do. 

I'm sure I'm not the only one going through hard stuff this holiday season - so sending big hugs to all the rest of you who are struggling with all kinds of things.


----------



## Theatrmuse/Kara

Happy Birthday, McBeth!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## AuntHen

IC that I am glad Christmas is over and I am ready for New Year's (even though I do not want to rush the week because I have it off from work). 2011 was very good but challenging... I just feel 2012 is going to be an *amazing *year and I am so ready to start it!


----------



## Diana_Prince245

IC I'm ending my relationship with the new birth control pill the NP at the health center put me on six weeks ago. I've had bleeding of one sort or another for 15 of the last 19 days. I think I would rather be pregnant.


----------



## Hole

Diana_Prince245 said:


> IC I'm ending my relationship with the new birth control pill the NP at the health center put me on six weeks ago. I've had bleeding of one sort or another for 15 of the last 19 days. I think I would rather be pregnant.



I bled for 10 days when I first started taking the pill. It's normal, but I understand that you're put off.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

Hole said:


> I bled for 10 days when I first started taking the pill. It's normal, but I understand that you're put off.



I've taken the pill for 24 years without issues. I just started the progestin only one, which sucks. I'm anemic enough as it is.


----------



## hrd

It really sucks lemons, but I think I'm going to have to let a good friend turn back into more of an acquaintance -- though, sadly, I suppose it's not much of a friendship anymore if nearly all the effort to maintain it is one-sided.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I don't know what to say....I am not sure I what is going to happen and I am exhausted ...I am not sure how to proceed or if it is worth it.....just a thought


----------



## nettie

IC I'm just not cut out for flirting and dating. Proof, a conversation with an old friend I hadn't seen in years when we got together for coffee this weekend:

Guy: It's good to see you. Man, you look hot!
Me: Oh, well, sorry. I just came from the gym but I DID take a shower, I promise.
Guy: ...........
Me: Oh. OH. Thanks.

*sigh* Only I would think he meant I looked sweaty. :doh:


----------



## Lamia

I confess I just took my top off and stuck gandalf in my cleavage and snapped a photo and put print over it that says "NONE SHALL PASS" and made it my wallpaper so it will be the first thing my boyfriend sees when he logs in tomorrow lol.


----------



## aocutiepi

Lamia said:


> I confess I just took my top off and stuck gandalf in my cleavage and snapped a photo and put print over it that says "NONE SHALL PASS" and made it my wallpaper so it will be the first thing my boyfriend sees when he logs in tomorrow lol.




Love that.


----------



## Lamia

Actually I havent' showed him yet. I am going to do an entire series of boob shot action figures...I mean I got em...the boobs and the action figures and make a flip book for him for Valentine's day. :wubu:


----------



## penguin

Lamia said:


> Actually I havent' showed him yet. I am going to do an entire series of boob shot action figures...I mean I got em...the boobs and the action figures and make a flip book for him for Valentine's day. :wubu:



I love this idea.


----------



## Lamia

I think there needs to be a website dedicated to this lol


----------



## Lovelyone

IC...horny


----------



## penguin

Lovelyone said:


> IC...horny



Oh man, I hear ya. My libido went AWOL for a couple of months but recently came back and hit me hard. 

IC that I've spent more time looking between my legs in the last two days than I have in the last...ever. It's interesting how different my twat looks in the mirror and in photos, due to flash and light exposure and all that other stuff I guess. I've always liked how it looked, but seeing it like this was weird for me, because some photos were fabulous and others had me feeling uncomfortable, with the differences in appearance. It's interesting how I've been processing it. It's all part of that loving all of me thing, and as it's not a body part I see a lot I'm not as visually familiar with as the rest of me. So I'm trying to remedy that.

IaC that it's made me realise how I'm much more familiar with how thin women's genitals look than fat women's, and I've been comparing myself to thinner ladies for so long. With how 'hidden' my twat can feel because of the plumpness and all. It's had me readjusting my thinking a lot. The pictures help, because I can sit far more comfortably to look at it


----------



## Jeeshcristina

penguin said:


> Oh man, I hear ya. My libido went AWOL for a couple of months but recently came back and hit me hard.
> 
> IC that I've spent more time looking between my legs in the last two days than I have in the last...ever. It's interesting how different my twat looks in the mirror and in photos, due to flash and light exposure and all that other stuff I guess. I've always liked how it looked, but seeing it like this was weird for me, because some photos were fabulous and others had me feeling uncomfortable, with the differences in appearance. It's interesting how I've been processing it. It's all part of that loving all of me thing, and as it's not a body part I see a lot I'm not as visually familiar with as the rest of me. So I'm trying to remedy that.
> 
> IaC that it's made me realise how I'm much more familiar with how thin women's genitals look than fat women's, and I've been comparing myself to thinner ladies for so long. With how 'hidden' my twat can feel because of the plumpness and all. It's had me readjusting my thinking a lot. The pictures help, because I can sit far more comfortably to look at it




I think this is an excellent idea. I admit that I have often felt uncomfortable, because, well, I don't look like a porn star. But to love yourself, and be comfortable with yourself, that's awesome.

....*breaks out the camera*


----------



## metabliss

IC that I am ecstatic that I found the Dimensions forum because even thought I just started posting and haven't really talked to anyone yet, I feel way less alone than I did an hour ago before I signed up I hope that I make some new friends here!


----------



## MzDeeZyre

metabliss said:


> IC that I am ecstatic that I found the Dimensions forum because even thought I just started posting and haven't really talked to anyone yet, I feel way less alone than I did an hour ago before I signed up I hope that I make some new friends here!



Welcome Meta!!


----------



## metabliss

Thanks!!


----------



## Diana_Prince245

IC that I hate my boobs right now. Somehow, despite losing 20 pounds in the last two months, my boobs have gotten bigger and none of my bras fit -- leading to really painful chafing during those 14 hour days of work when I can't get them off. 

I also C that I'm talking to my future baby daddy about them, cause he loves them and it makes me hate them less.


----------



## Tau

Small children are horrible for orgasms.


----------



## Londonbikerboy

metabliss said:


> IC that I am ecstatic that I found the Dimensions forum because even thought I just started posting and haven't really talked to anyone yet, I feel way less alone than I did an hour ago before I signed up I hope that I make some new friends here!



Hello Meta. That's awesome to hear! Hope you feel warmly welcomed on Dims. Trust me; you'll struggle to find a nicer bunch of people.


----------



## CAMellie

Tau said:


> Small children are horrible for orgasms.



IC that my first thought was...why would you use small children? Then I re-thought it and you were no longer a pedophile


----------



## Diana_Prince245

IC I may cut my uterus out of my body today. It would hurt less than my cramps.


----------



## Surlysomething

CAMellie said:


> IC that my first thought was...why would you use small children? Then I re-thought it and you were no longer a pedophile


 

I was a little confused as well. Haha.


----------



## aztecprinc3ss

IC I don't believe in love or men...


----------



## Surlysomething

aztecprinc3ss said:


> IC I don't believe in love or men...


 
Oh, I believe in them. Not sure I trust most of it though. Haha.


----------



## Miss Vickie

Surlysomething said:


> Oh, I believe in them. Not sure I trust most of it though. Haha.



Ditto. Ditto. Ditto.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

I love men. Love them, love them, love them. I just don't think I like them very much sometimes.


----------



## CAMellie

Diana_Prince245 said:


> I love men. Love them, love them, love them. I just don't think I like them very much sometimes.



Yeah this.....


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Interview tomorrow AM!!!! 

It put a bounce in my step...hehehehe


----------



## metabliss

PunkyGurly74 said:


> Interview tomorrow AM!!!!
> 
> It put a bounce in my step...hehehehe



Good Luck!!!


----------



## Tau

CAMellie said:


> IC that my first thought was...why would you use small children? Then I re-thought it and you were no longer a pedophile



 Just realised how else that could be read!


----------



## Lamia

PunkyGurly74 said:


> Interview tomorrow AM!!!!
> 
> It put a bounce in my step...hehehehe



Awesome best of luck!!


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Lamia said:


> Awesome best of luck!!



Thank you, it would not let me rep you....


----------



## HottiMegan

Diana_Prince245 said:


> IC that I hate my boobs right now. Somehow, despite losing 20 pounds in the last two months, my boobs have gotten bigger and none of my bras fit -- leading to really painful chafing during those 14 hour days of work when I can't get them off.
> 
> I also C that I'm talking to my future baby daddy about them, cause he loves them and it makes me hate them less.



I gain boobs every single time i lose weight. i never lose boob size.. just butt and thighs when i lose weight lol.


----------



## CleverBomb

PunkyGurly74 said:


> Interview tomorrow AM!!!!
> 
> It put a bounce in my step...hehehehe


Great! And Hoverdog goes "Whirr...."

Best of luck!

-Rusty


----------



## Mishty

IC I don't like man fingers around my pink bits, lady fingers don't bother me in the least, but when a man be it a sexual partner or my doctor I cringe. I think I need to discuss this with my head doctor next month, since I've only recently come to terms with it.


----------



## Emma

penguin said:


> Oh man, I hear ya. My libido went AWOL for a couple of months but recently came back and hit me hard.
> 
> IC that I've spent more time looking between my legs in the last two days than I have in the last...ever. It's interesting how different my twat looks in the mirror and in photos, due to flash and light exposure and all that other stuff I guess. I've always liked how it looked, but seeing it like this was weird for me, because some photos were fabulous and others had me feeling uncomfortable, with the differences in appearance. It's interesting how I've been processing it. It's all part of that loving all of me thing, and as it's not a body part I see a lot I'm not as visually familiar with as the rest of me. So I'm trying to remedy that.
> 
> IaC that it's made me realise how I'm much more familiar with how thin women's genitals look than fat women's, and I've been comparing myself to thinner ladies for so long. With how 'hidden' my twat can feel because of the plumpness and all. It's had me readjusting my thinking a lot. The pictures help, because I can sit far more comfortably to look at it



That's all well and good but I don't think you'll feel much better about it calling it a 'twat' lol what a hooooorrid word haha

Unless, of course, twat isn't a horrid word in Oz lol


----------



## ConnieLynn

CurvyEm said:


> That's all well and good but I don't think you'll feel much better about it *calling it a 'twat' *lol what a hooooorrid word haha
> 
> Unless, of course, twat isn't a horrid word in Oz lol



I often call mine a twat. We should have a "What do you call your girl bits?" thread.


----------



## Emma

ConnieLynn said:


> I often call mine a twat. We should have a "What do you call your girl bits?" thread.



I often call PEOPLE twats haha. Here it is more used as an insult or a really rude but jokey name for a vagina. Oh yeah, or a word for hitting someone. Like you'd 'twat' someone.


----------



## penguin

CurvyEm said:


> That's all well and good but I don't think you'll feel much better about it calling it a 'twat' lol what a hooooorrid word haha
> 
> Unless, of course, twat isn't a horrid word in Oz lol



It's not a horrid word here, no. We still call people twats (though here it rhymes with what, not hat), but it's one of the less vulgar names for it.


----------



## ConnieLynn

CurvyEm said:


> I often call PEOPLE twats haha. Here it is more used as an insult or a really rude but jokey name for a vagina. Oh yeah, or a word for hitting someone. Like you'd 'twat' someone.



I call people twits


----------



## Carrie

Mishty said:


> IC I don't like man fingers around my pink bits, lady fingers don't bother me in the least, but when a man be it a sexual partner or my doctor I cringe. I think I need to discuss this with my head doctor next month, since I've only recently come to terms with it.


Is it the random poking? I really don't understand the random poking 'round down there phenomenon. A little finesse, gentlemen, please.


----------



## Mishty

Carrie said:


> Is it the random poking? I really don't understand the random poking 'round down there phenomenon. A little finesse, gentlemen, please.



EXACTLY! It's like, things are going smooth and his hand is somewhere nice, and all of sudden it's somewhere else entirely and no where near anything it could get a response out of. It turns me off instantly, I'm hoping this a strange non-FA type thing, because maybe I'm built different. I'm workin' on going with the flow.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Mishty said:


> EXACTLY! It's like, things are going smooth and his hand is somewhere nice, and all of sudden it's somewhere else entirely and no where near anything it could get a response out of. It turns me off instantly, I'm hoping this a strange non-FA type thing, because maybe I'm built different. I'm workin' on going with the flow.



In my experience I would say that it's not a non-FA thing...I think it has more to do with how in tune your partner is with you and your responses (with a dash of past experience thrown in, but that isn't essential). But if this is a good guy who seems to be attentive and responsive to you in that way, then I dunno...


----------



## Tau

Mishty said:


> EXACTLY! It's like, things are going smooth and his hand is somewhere nice, and all of sudden it's somewhere else entirely and no where near anything it could get a response out of. It turns me off instantly, I'm hoping this a strange non-FA type thing, because maybe I'm built different. I'm workin' on going with the flow.



In my (extremely limited) experience I have found that male people need telling - very specific telling. While women tend to be more in tune with sounds and body language dudes seem to miss it entirely, like subtlety is beyond them in the bedroom  If he's poking somewhere he shouldn't I always stop and say: "No, not there. Here." LOL! some are better than others but even then you've got to be very vocal otherwise it can be not fun.


----------



## ConnieLynn

Tau said:


> In my (extremely limited) experience I have found that *male people need telling* - very specific telling. While women tend to be more in tune with sounds and body language dudes seem to miss it entirely, like subtlety is beyond them in the bedroom  If he's poking somewhere he shouldn't I always stop and say: "No, not there. Here." LOL! some are better than others but even then you've got to be very vocal otherwise it can be not fun.



And also tell on the positive side: "Oh yes, right there. That's the spot." 

The spots are different on everyone, so how are they going to know if we don't tell them?


----------



## Weeze

ConnieLynn said:


> And also tell on the positive side: "Oh yes, right there. That's the spot."
> 
> The spots are different on everyone, so how are they going to know if we don't tell them?



Ding, Ding, Ding. Exactly. If I'm making out/hooking up/whatever, I'm not afraid to say when something's not working. It's a waste of time, otherwise, and usually if you tell him/her (over here, no that hurts, do it like this, etc) they'll take it and run with it and it turns out pretty nice.


----------



## hrd

I was really looking forward to having a quiet weekend with a stack of books.


----------



## Lovelyone

IC that I am laughing about what is going on with these confession threads. One is about cunnilingus and the other is about women's nether regions...LOL


----------



## Aust99

IC I really want to date A LOT this year.... I'm going to accept any date I'm asked on and seek out a few too.. need to work on my pick up skills... lol 

In the past I've always waited for others to ask (therefore no chance of rejection on my part, at least not initially.. lol) and I've been staying at home/ hanging out with friends a lot these last two years due to home ownership related money shortage.... lol 

Time to get online and out there to see who is out there looking... 

Tips/ advice welcome ladies. PM me!


----------



## Surlysomething

My hair is finally at a length I like. 

I do not look as attractive with shorter hair. IMO.


----------



## spiritangel

IC: Somewhere between the land of awake and asleep I felt the most amazing kiss on my lips shame I woke up alone but for moments it was magic


----------



## Diana_Prince245

Aust99 said:


> IC I really want to date A LOT this year.... I'm going to accept any date I'm asked on and seek out a few too.. need to work on my pick up skills... lol
> 
> In the past I've always waited for others to ask (therefore no chance of rejection on my part, at least not initially.. lol) and I've been staying at home/ hanging out with friends a lot these last two years due to home ownership related money shortage.... lol
> 
> Time to get online and out there to see who is out there looking...
> 
> Tips/ advice welcome ladies. PM me!



If they don't call, find somebody else for the night, and no matter how cute or awesome he is, there's somebody else cuter and awesomer. Least that's how I navigate the dating world.


----------



## 1love_emily

I've gone vegetarian this year. So far, it's been 14 consecutive days of vegetarian-ness.

But I confess, I just stole a bite of my room mate's left over Sesame Chicken... and it was so good, and I really want more.


----------



## LovelyLiz

Aust99 said:


> IC I really want to date A LOT this year.... I'm going to accept any date I'm asked on and seek out a few too.. need to work on my pick up skills... lol
> In the past I've always waited for others to ask (therefore no chance of rejection on my part, at least not initially.. lol) and I've been staying at home/ hanging out with friends a lot these last two years due to home ownership related money shortage.... lol
> Time to get online and out there to see who is out there looking...
> Tips/ advice welcome ladies. PM me!


I did a similar thing a couple years back (especially in terms of saying yes to all invitations, unless they really seemed completely scary) - and went on 4 first dates in the space of about 8 days in the beginning of the year (guys I met online). Then I basically had to take a break for 2 months to get over that.  
For me, going out on dates with a bunch of guys I ended up having almost nothing in common with was actually really disappointing and made me feel more hopeless about finding someone I could actually connect with. If I had to do that again, I would still want to give pretty much everyone a chance (I think that openness is really good), but I'd probably talk to them on the phone first before meeting them in person to see if we had any kind of connection at all. For me, actually taking the time to meet someone in person and have a legit date made it more disappointing when we didn't really click (which was most of the time). That's just my two cents.
Either way, go get 'em girl.  The Aussie men don't know how lucky they are to have you to go out with! Hope you find one who's really good for you!


----------



## Aust99

Diana_Prince245 said:


> If they don't call, find somebody else for the night, and no matter how cute or awesome he is, there's somebody else cuter and awesomer. Least that's how I navigate the dating world.





mcbeth said:


> I did a similar thing a couple years back (especially in terms of saying yes to all invitations, unless they really seemed completely scary) - and went on 4 first dates in the space of about 8 days in the beginning of the year (guys I met online). Then I basically had to take a break for 2 months to get over that.
> For me, going out on dates with a bunch of guys I ended up having almost nothing in common with was actually really disappointing and made me feel more hopeless about finding someone I could actually connect with. If I had to do that again, I would still want to give pretty much everyone a chance (I think that openness is really good), but I'd probably talk to them on the phone first before meeting them in person to see if we had any kind of connection at all. For me, actually taking the time to meet someone in person and have a legit date made it more disappointing when we didn't really click (which was most of the time). That's just my two cents.
> Either way, go get 'em girl.  The Aussie men don't know how lucky they are to have you to go out with! Hope you find one who's really good for you!




Thanks ladies...

Mcbeth, I remember when you did that, when I wrote that post last night I was thinking back to when you did it so thought why not??? 

Been on the dating site for two days now.... have had a quite a few people writing to me..... my profile is pretty bare but put three photos up... one face and two full body... no surprises here. lol. 

Not my fav way to meet people though.... eek!!


----------



## Surlysomething

Next month I am so totally going for a beauty day.

Hair cut and coloured.

Spa - eyebrow waxing and pedicure.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

IC I think I made a poor choice. I shoulda kept Bieber Hair around. At least he showed up when he was supposed to.


----------



## Saoirse

Mishty said:


> EXACTLY! It's like, things are going smooth and his hand is somewhere nice, and all of sudden it's somewhere else entirely and no where near anything it could get a response out of. It turns me off instantly, I'm hoping this a strange non-FA type thing, because maybe I'm built different. I'm workin' on going with the flow.



Haha my fuckbuddy has trouble with his fingers. Dude can shred on a guitar, hes awesome with my nipples, and he can find my sexy spots... but its like he gets down there and just gets way to excited about touching it and he cant control his fingers. And then they're everywhere BUT where I want them.

But I dont mind. Hes fucking HUNG.


----------



## HottiMegan

IC i am feeling my own mortality. I had a friend die this year at the young age of 42 and just tonight another friend had a heart attack. It makes me feel like i need to get my health and body in check. I know my bp and heart are healthy, for now. (had an echo pre op not too long ago) Death and serious illness sort of scares the crap out of me. 

so for that, I've set a goal. It will be baby steps but i want to get myself into enough shape to take an adults class at Max's tae kwon do school. So hopefully by the end of the year i can get into that class.


----------



## Jeeshcristina

Saoirse said:


> Haha my fuckbuddy has trouble with his fingers. Dude can shred on a guitar, hes awesome with my nipples, and he can find my sexy spots... but its like he gets down there and just gets way to excited about touching it and he cant control his fingers. And then they're everywhere BUT where I want them.
> 
> But I dont mind. Hes fucking HUNG.



Lol, I have totally been here. I got so sick of getting aggravated, of getting all worked up and then flustered, that I just started telling him exactly what to do. It helped. A lot.


----------



## aocutiepi

HottiMegan said:


> IC i am feeling my own mortality. I had a friend die this year at the young age of 42 and just tonight another friend had a heart attack. It makes me feel like i need to get my health and body in check. I know my bp and heart are healthy, for now. (had an echo pre op not too long ago) Death and serious illness sort of scares the crap out of me.
> 
> so for that, I've set a goal. It will be baby steps but i want to get myself into enough shape to take an adults class at Max's tae kwon do school. So hopefully by the end of the year i can get into that class.



Tae Kwon Do sounds like a great way to be healthy. I've actually always wanted to take a class. And Max will love it.

You can do it!


----------



## Jeeshcristina

IC that I'm in total girl mode today, and actually googled "how not to be clingy." I'm also doing that super awkward thing where you want to text back immediately, but don't want to be lame, so you wait like 10 minutes to respond. Why is this so complicated?!!?


----------



## Diana_Prince245

So text him back. Don't overthink stuff. Overthinking is what gets us in trouble.


----------



## Saoirse

Diana_Prince245 said:


> So text him back. Don't overthink stuff. Overthinking is what gets us in trouble.



I say this to my bestie all the time. He's always analyzing what guys say/dont say and do/dont do, especially early on in the relationship. Im always saying STOP THINKING.

Of course, when it comes to my own relationships... I dont ever take my own advice. :doh:


----------



## Jeeshcristina

Diana_Prince245 said:


> So text him back. Don't overthink stuff. Overthinking is what gets us in trouble.





Saoirse said:


> I say this to my bestie all the time. He's always analyzing what guys say/dont say and do/dont do, especially early on in the relationship. Im always saying STOP THINKING.
> 
> Of course, when it comes to my own relationships... I dont ever take my own advice. :doh:



Ah, why are we so difficult?! Thanks for the advice, I texted back.


----------



## littlefairywren

Jeeshcristina said:


> IC that I'm in total girl mode today, and actually googled "how not to be clingy." I'm also doing that super awkward thing where you want to text back immediately, but don't want to be lame, so you wait like 10 minutes to respond. Why is this so complicated?!!?



Just be your true self. If the real you would respond immediately, then do so. If you start toning yourself down and second guessing your actions it will drive you crazy.


----------



## Astarte

IC that I've been away from Dims for far too long.


----------



## CastingPearls

Jeeshcristina said:


> IC that I'm in total girl mode today, and actually googled "how not to be clingy." I'm also doing that super awkward thing where you want to text back immediately, but don't want to be lame, so you wait like 10 minutes to respond. Why is this so complicated?!!?


This is very late but....just do it. Life is too short and if he thinks it's too much, he's not for you anyway and you don't want someone who doesn't want you, all of you, do you?


----------



## Jeeshcristina

CastingPearls said:


> This is very late but....just do it. Life is too short and if he thinks it's too much, he's not for you anyway and you don't want someone who doesn't want you, all of you, do you?





littlefairywren said:


> Just be your true self. If the real you would respond immediately, then do so. If you start toning yourself down and second guessing your actions it will drive you crazy.



You guys are so awesome. I truly appreciate your advice. It's so easy to over analyze and over think things. I took everyone's advice, was honest about my reservations and my feelings, and so far, so good.


----------



## penguin

IC I hate sweat and chafe. Even when the chafe doesn't hurt and just leaves me skin red, it makes me feel unattractive and undesirable.


----------



## Lovelyone

IC that I truly miss having someone to cuddle with and watch movies.


----------



## CastingPearls

IC that I dreamed of him and he was sweet and gentle and warm and it was music and it was real and there was hope.


----------



## spiritangel

IC I want a do over for today so far it has sucked!!!


----------



## penguin

With my daughter now at school, I'll be walking her too and from each day, as I don't drive. Some days we may catch the bus there or back, but that would make it a ten minute walk instead of 25 (or 30, depending on how slow she is), and I'll try to save those for the days that she's being stubborn or I'm hurting too much. So I'm looking at doing up to 2 hours of walking every day, which I know will be good for me. My back is better when I exercise, and this is exercise I can't avoid. For me, it's about health, not weight loss, though I know for me it will have that as a side effect. And I don't want to be this heavy any more. I don't plan or expect to get thin, and I don't really want to. I'd be happy where I was ten or so years ago, when it was easy to buy clothes. I miss wearing jeans. 

My confession is that it's scary. There's no easing into this kind of activity level, because it's five days a week, twice a day. I've had to buy arch supports for my regular shoes, as well as buying sneakers. My back was hurting a lot during the first few days walks, but on Friday I had a LOT of running about to do, and my back didn't hurt at all (my feet were another story). So I'm hoping that with the shoes and arch supports I'll have conquered those pain problems, and that my back problems will soon get better with all this extra movement.

But it's still scary, and it can feel a bit overwhelming, knowing that doing this will bring changes. Good changes, to my health, to how I'm feeling, and what I'm able to do, but coupled with her starting school and thrusting me into a whole new chapter of my life, it's just a lot going on. I know it's all for the better and that I'm probably worrying over nothing, but it's still daunting.

IAC that I need to break out of the hermit life I've been in for the last few years, and get my extroverted self back. I got lost along the way of being a mother, so I'm getting myself back, and I want to get along with the other parents, but it's scary too. I'm really aware of being the fattest parent there.

TL;DR lots of changes, omg but it's not as bad as I think.


----------



## HottiMegan

I know your pain Penguin. Alex started preschool in August and we have to do about 25 minutes of walking from home to the bus stop and bus stop to school and reverse going home. I hate not having the car to take him to school. It took me a month of walking to get my feet feeling better and sometimes my hips hurt a lot at the end of the day. (Alex is a SLOW walker sometimes) I must have lost weight because even my stretchy pants are falling off of me these days. It wasn't intentional, just a result of moving more. 

I hope your body continues to adjust to the walking. I still don't like it because it's a 2 hour process just to get him to school and get home. I get home and put my feet up to start all over again in a couple of hours. I love how i feel after getting that exercise though.


IC this whole house hunting thing is more sad than fun now. Every house we end up liking a lot has some sort of issue that would suck to repair or live in. That and the one i was totally gaga over we got outbid. A house we liked a lot, upon closer look today would never qualify for inspection.


----------



## nettie

IC I did it. I registered for the Polar Plunge and within ten minutes of my posting on Facebook that I needed sponsors, my minimum goal was met. No way I can back out of it now!


----------



## sgageny

Jeeshcristina said:


> IC that I'm in total girl mode today, and actually googled "how not to be clingy." I'm also doing that super awkward thing where you want to text back immediately, but don't want to be lame, so you wait like 10 minutes to respond. Why is this so complicated?!!?



Wow, this is my exact confession. We had a bit of mind sync action! 
I feel like I'm coming across as uber needy to him but he doesnt seemed turned off at all... So yay? 
Romance gives me the shits!


----------



## WVMountainrear

sgageny said:


> Wow, this is my exact confession. We had a bit of mind sync action!
> I feel like I'm coming across as uber needy to him but he doesnt seemed turned off at all... So yay?
> *Romance gives me the shits!*



That sentence made me laugh so hard...me too these days!


----------



## LovelyLiz

Penguin - Hoping the walking gets manageable (and even pleasant!) as soon as possible. Sounds like even though you're acknowledging the hard parts, you have a really good attitude about it overall - that goes a long way!



nettie said:


> IC I did it. I registered for the Polar Plunge and within ten minutes of my posting on Facebook that I needed sponsors, my minimum goal was met. No way I can back out of it now!



AWESOME!!! It's awesome that you were willing to take such a fun risk, and awesome that your friends are so supportive! Look forward to hearing all about it.


----------



## aocutiepi

IC that I'm freaking out about this vaginal biopsy I have to have done on Thursday. I'm so terrified of what it might say. And I'm ashamed of myself that I would rather the results say cancer than some kind of incurable STD. If I have to tell my mother, who lost a brother to AIDS, that even though I knew better I was an idiot and ruined my life seeking love from men who weren't interested in giving it, I don't know what I'll do.

_I know it's the whole cart before the horse thing_, but after over a month of varied treatments (antifungal, antibiotic, Boric Acid, etc) with no results, now I'm getting really paranoid.


----------



## spiritangel

aocutiepi said:


> IC that I'm freaking out about this vaginal biopsy I have to have done on Thursday. I'm so terrified of what it might say. And I'm ashamed of myself that I would rather the results say cancer than some kind of incurable STD. If I have to tell my mother, who lost a brother to AIDS, that even though I knew better I was an idiot and ruined my life seeking love from men who weren't interested in giving it, I don't know what I'll do.
> 
> _I know it's the whole cart before the horse thing_, but after over a month of varied treatments (antifungal, antibiotic, Boric Acid, etc) with no results, now I'm getting really paranoid.



lots of squishy hugs whatever it is I hope they figure it out and that perhaps there is a 3rd option that is neither of those things or some such

thinking of you and until then lots of deep breaths and distraction therapy


----------



## Surlysomething

aocutiepi said:


> IC that I'm freaking out about this vaginal biopsy I have to have done on Thursday. I'm so terrified of what it might say. And I'm ashamed of myself that I would rather the results say cancer than some kind of incurable STD. If I have to tell my mother, who lost a brother to AIDS, that even though I knew better I was an idiot and ruined my life seeking love from men who weren't interested in giving it, I don't know what I'll do.
> 
> _I know it's the whole cart before the horse thing_, but after over a month of varied treatments (antifungal, antibiotic, Boric Acid, etc) with no results, now I'm getting really paranoid.


 
Breathe. And speaking from experience, we worry ourselves so badly when it's probably something they never even thought of. 

Breathe.


----------



## Shan34

IC that this week has already been long and tiring, but Friday will be the day that kicks my ass. Need to put on my Wonder Woman undies and harness super strength! 

Looking forward to Saturday...


----------



## Mishty

Shan34 said:


> IC that this week has already been long and tiring, but Friday will be the day that kicks my ass. Need to put on my Wonder Woman undies and harness super strength!
> 
> Looking forward to Saturday...



Super hero panties give us super powers,they really do. :batting:


----------



## CastingPearls

Mishty said:


> Super hero panties give us super powers,they really do. :batting:


They're not superheroes but Hello Kitty and First Class Barbie panties give me superpowers.


----------



## aocutiepi

Surlysomething said:


> Breathe. And speaking from experience, we worry ourselves so badly when it's probably something they never even thought of.
> 
> Breathe.





spiritangel said:


> lots of squishy hugs whatever it is I hope they figure it out and that perhaps there is a 3rd option that is neither of those things or some such
> 
> thinking of you and until then lots of deep breaths and distraction therapy



Thanks so much for the kind words. I'm trying to be positive.


----------



## one2one

I used the over-sized, magnetic poetry word tiles to create 'beautiful fat girl' and left it there on a pillar in the middle of the library today.


----------



## Jeeshcristina

IC that my goal to live on less and with less is exciting! I'm downsizing my 1400 sq. ft apartment to something more modest, and donating all but 20 pairs of my 200+ pair shoe collection. I'm making a point to live a less materialistic lifestyle, and am really having fun purging everything! Any ladies want any shoes? Hit me up.


----------



## Jeeshcristina

Jeeshcristina said:


> IC that my goal to live on less and with less is exciting! I'm downsizing my 1400 sq. ft apartment to something more modest, and donating all but 20 pairs of my 200+ pair shoe collection. I'm making a point to live a less materialistic lifestyle, and am really having fun purging everything! Any ladies want any shoes? Hit me up.



Can't figure out how to edit this, but someone claimed the shoes! Sorry ladies. I wear a 10 for future reference, so if there are anymore, I'll let yall know!


----------



## hrd

So glad to finally have a 2-day weekend -- I love my job, but I'm feeling a bit run down.


----------



## Shan34

IC that my plate runneth over and as a result I'm spread so thin that I can barely give my all to any one thing and it's beginning to get to me.


----------



## LovelyLiz

IC that today my boyfriend and I are celebrating one year of being together. It's been a wonderful experience of love and growth for me, and it's an amazing testament to the work of healing that has happened in me over the past several years - from being a person who desperately wanted to be loved but had so much self-loathing and fear that I didn't know how to receive love, to someone who may still struggle sometimes (and sometimes a lot), but has learned more to value myself, trust others, and allow myself to be loved. Today is a day of gratefulness.


----------



## butch

mcbeth said:


> IC that today my boyfriend and I are celebrating one year of being together. It's been a wonderful experience of love and growth for me, and it's an amazing testament to the work of healing that has happened in me over the past several years - from being a person who desperately wanted to be loved but had so much self-loathing and fear that I didn't know how to receive love, to someone who may still struggle sometimes (and sometimes a lot), but has learned more to value myself, trust others, and allow myself to be loved. Today is a day of gratefulness.



Congratulations! I am so happy for you, and I applaud the work you've done to get to this place. As someone who probably could have written the same thing at my one-year anniversary, I hope you get to grow and thrive to the 2 1/2 year mark, like I have in my relationship. Thanks for sharing the journey with us here at Dims, too.


----------



## LovelyLiz

butch said:


> Congratulations! I am so happy for you, and I applaud the work you've done to get to this place. As someone who probably could have written the same thing at my one-year anniversary, I hope you get to grow and thrive to the 2 1/2 year mark, like I have in my relationship. Thanks for sharing the journey with us here at Dims, too.



Thank you so much, butch. I hope that for me too. And I am so happy for the loving and life-giving relationship you have found! You guys are such a beautiful couple.


----------



## butch

mcbeth said:


> Thank you so much, butch. I hope that for me too. And I am so happy for the loving and life-giving relationship you have found! You guys are such a beautiful couple.



aww, thanks mcbeth! :wubu:


----------



## penguin

HottiMegan said:


> I hope your body continues to adjust to the walking. I still don't like it because it's a 2 hour process just to get him to school and get home. I get home and put my feet up to start all over again in a couple of hours. I love how i feel after getting that exercise though.





mcbeth said:


> Penguin - Hoping the walking gets manageable (and even pleasant!) as soon as possible. Sounds like even though you're acknowledging the hard parts, you have a really good attitude about it overall - that goes a long way!



Adjusting to the walking has been difficult, partly because I threw myself into too much too soon (walking there and back twice a day) and my back did not like it. So we get the bus there and will sometimes walk home. Not every day, but a few times a week.

I had to buy arch supports for my shoes, because my feet did NOT like the walking in the shoes I had. Just when I got used to them, I switched the supports into a different pair of shoes and OMG they nearly killed my feet. I guess they were sitting differently, because I could barely walk home after that. Wearing sneakers made a big difference and now my feet are feeling good again, though I dislike wearing sneakers with regular clothes  

I'm also getting to know some of the other parents, so that's good too. I'm not sure if I'll become friends with any of them, but we're friendly and that's a good start  Thanks for the support, too


----------



## Deacone

I confess that I'm sitting on work on my mobile looking at dims, instead of doing actual work. ^_^


----------



## spiritangel

IC I feel sick as and hate days where pushing myself in not even huge ways ends up with me sick


----------



## Deacone

spiritangel said:


> IC I feel sick as and hate days where pushing myself in not even huge ways ends up with me sick



I hope you feel better. *hugs*


----------



## CastingPearls

spiritangel said:


> IC I feel sick as and hate days where pushing myself in not even huge ways ends up with me sick


Awwwww I hope you're feeling better very soon. Sending positive thoughts. Love you.


----------



## Jes

mcbeth said:


> It's been a wonderful experience of love and growth for me)



this warmed my heart. 

For me, I have found that growth very hard at times and I feel I've underperformed sometimes. Love is very humbling, but in the best way possible. Thanks for reminding me that it's very worth it and that it's process (as my social work friend likes to say about ...everything!) and good for you.


----------



## lovelocs

IC that I have gained a significant amount of weight recently, and I'm having a "how big am I?" moment. I don't feel different, and neither do my clothes, but I am near 20 pounds heavier and that ish has to be somewhere.


----------



## pegz

IC I'm tired. I just want to quit. I need some TLC. I want to just give up and wish I had someone to just take care of me for a few days until I could hold my head up again. I typically am a "suck it up cupcake" kind of chick....but right now.. not so much.


----------



## indigosky_

IC I feel pretty darn stupid right now and I feel like I let myself be walked over.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

After a long rant about how he hated commitment and tattoos, I pretty much cut an ex boyfriend out of my life. Yet he continues to text me and ask me to bring him dinner. I have never brought that man dinner in the five years I've known him. He's about to get a full-on telling off that includes a rant about his being a mama's boy and an irresponsible man child.


----------



## AuntHen

IC I got my hair trimmed today. Wooooooo exciting!


----------



## littlefairywren

fat9276 said:


> IC I got my hair trimmed today. Wooooooo exciting!



Photo please, Miss B!


----------



## JSmirkingRevenge

IC that i just want to cuddle up with someone right now, rather than sit here alone.


----------



## supersizebbw

IC i'm super nervous about meeting up in person with a really nice guy i met on the internet who i've been chatting with for almost a year now...i have to keep telling myself i have to put myself out there else i'll be alone forever


----------



## Lovelyone

IC that I feel a little bit stalked lately. Whenever I log onto a forums I belong to, the same person messages me within a minute of login--kind of creeps me out. I mean, it's almost like he is sitting there waiting for my name to pop up on the login board. I don't want to hurt his feelings but I don't ALWAYS want to chat with that person. Sometimes my forum time is the only time I get to myself in the entire day. *sigh


----------



## Fluffy51888

IC that I am tired of seeing guys who like chubby girls all over the world except here. It's like I picked the worst plsce ever to live cause there are none. I mean, wtf, this is like, comfort food capital. Almost all the girls are fat. Shouldn't there be boys that like us, too?


----------



## JSmirkingRevenge

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that I am tired of seeing guys who like chubby girls all over the world except here. It's like I picked the worst plsce ever to live cause there are none. I mean, wtf, this is like, comfort food capital. Almost all the girls are fat. Shouldn't there be boys that like us, too?



they exist hun! i promise! i dated one for a while (yes, south carolina!)  

they are just a lot harder to find, in general.


----------



## Fluffy51888

JSmirkingRevenge said:


> they exist hun! i promise! i dated one for a while (yes, south carolina!)
> 
> they are just a lot harder to find, in general.




Thanks for the encouragement! Guess I'll just have to be patient. I hate being patient. lol


----------



## JSmirkingRevenge

supersizebbw said:


> IC i'm super nervous about meeting up in person with a really nice guy i met on the internet who i've been chatting with for almost a year now...i have to keep telling myself i have to put myself out there else i'll be alone forever



been there! a few times, in fact!

best advice i can give you is to just relax and be the same person you've been this whole year chatting with him. i know it's significantly easier said than done, but really... put the emotion aside for a second and think. he's been happily chatting with you for over a year now. YOU. the person you are with him via the internet, is the most comfortable you that you could ever be. now you just get to do it face to face and have it be even better. where the "lol" is ACTUALLY laughter out loud. 

just do you, girl.


----------



## Allie Cat

I discovered this morning that despite my efforts to lose weight, I am currently the biggest I've been since 2007. Hrrrgh.


----------



## Lovelyone

My birthday is coming up. I will be 45 years old and I feel 100 years older than that. Sometimes I look in the mirror and don't recognize the person staring back at me. She says things like "Man, you are OLD and fat. How in the hell did you get that many gray hairs? Wow, you've got a lot of wrinkles." 

Then I tell her that I EARNED every one of those gray hairs, I do not have wrinkles, they are laugh lines. I tell her that I am not fat--I am a perfect size 6 under all this lushness and I just keep it covered up so it doesn't get scratched. In addition, I tell her to STFU and then I go in search of some butter pecan ice cream.


----------



## Lamia

I confess that my awesome perm walks a fine between looking adorable and looking like Gene Wilder in "Young Frankenstein" or..well...just Gene Wilder.


----------



## nettie

IC that I am currently dancing around the house to stripper music.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

Being in the nursery for my family nursing clinical really makes me want a baby.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

I fell last week - hurt myself pretty badly, fractured rib and bruised spleen - I didn't even know that was a thing. So, the I was set up to see a doctor for a follow up. First time seeing a personal doctor in quite some time. He is young, but, sweet, kind and really seems to want to help me.

He just called...they ran blood tests. I thought it would be odd that he would call personally. Usually the nurse would just call - and I thought it would be about my metformin (sp) dosage...to adjust. It was actually to inform me they ran a thyroid test (which I didn't know they were going to) and I have hypothyroidism ...I went to the ER ohh....8 or so months ago and I said I am so exhausted, I sleep I wake up ..go to sit up and I pass out. I am afraid of falling asleep while driving......they said..oh you just have sleep apnea because you are fat. You are profoundly sleep deprived and you are depressed because of being fat and not exercising. No one had run a thyroid test. 

Look, I'm not saying I'm fat because of this alone....but, my sheer exhaustion and inability to remember things sometimes...and I remember telling my niece a few times I feel like i have had a stroke - because I'm just out of it. I can't remember things I should remember, I have a hard time speaking sometimes...it is all related. He didn't share with me the technical numbers, but, he said it was pretty significant. Also, my family has a history of thyroid cancer. He is the first doctor in my life to take me seriously and that means the world to me. 

He is starting me on meds, calling them in, and oh...to have energy again. I hope it works!!!


----------



## HottiMegan

PunkyGurly74 said:


> I fell last week - hurt myself pretty badly, fractured rib and bruised spleen - I didn't even know that was a thing. So, the I was set up to see a doctor for a follow up. First time seeing a personal doctor in quite some time. He is young, but, sweet, kind and really seems to want to help me.
> 
> He just called...they ran blood tests. I thought it would be odd that he would call personally. Usually the nurse would just call - and I thought it would be about my metformin (sp) dosage...to adjust. It was actually to inform me they ran a thyroid test (which I didn't know they were going to) and I have hypothyroidism ...I went to the ER ohh....8 or so months ago and I said I am so exhausted, I sleep I wake up ..go to sit up and I pass out. I am afraid of falling asleep while driving......they said..oh you just have sleep apnea because you are fat. You are profoundly sleep deprived and you are depressed because of being fat and not exercising. No one had run a thyroid test.
> 
> Look, I'm not saying I'm fat because of this alone....but, my sheer exhaustion and inability to remember things sometimes...and I remember telling my niece a few times I feel like i have had a stroke - because I'm just out of it. I can't remember things I should remember, I have a hard time speaking sometimes...it is all related. He didn't share with me the technical numbers, but, he said it was pretty significant. Also, my family has a history of thyroid cancer. He is the first doctor in my life to take me seriously and that means the world to me.
> 
> He is starting me on meds, calling them in, and oh...to have energy again. I hope it works!!!



That's awesome you found a good, competent doctor. I'm going to start looking for a general practitioner after the move. I hope to find someone to see beyond the fat.


----------



## CleverBomb

Thyroid issues can be a big deal!
Glad they caught it -- it could well make a significant difference in your life.

Best of luck!

-Rusty


----------



## penguin

PunkyGurly74 said:


> He is starting me on meds, calling them in, and oh...to have energy again. I hope it works!!!



While it sucks a lot to have fallen and hurt yourself like that, it does look like something good has come out of it. I hope the medication starts working for you quickly. 

IC that I've had to buy a second pair of sneakers, because the first pair were too narrow in the toe for me. The arch supports in my regular shoes kept moving about, which had the supports pushing on different parts of my feet. That caused me extra pain and walking my daughter to and from school could leave me in pain all day. I found a handheld massager amongst her toys (I'd completely forgotten about it!) and that was great for relieving some of the pain, but the new sneakers fit much better and it's so much easier to do the walk. It's not very fashionable, but I've never been one to follow fashion. I'm just glad that I'm not in agony as I walk.

AND the walk home used to take me 24 or so minutes - today I did in 16, without even trying to go faster. I guess it's a combination of not being in pain each step and building my endurance. I think about 15 minutes will be the quickest I can do it at a regular pace, and I'm happy with that. When she started school, 5 weeks ago, I would get the bus there and back, with a ten minute walk home. Now I'm getting the bus there and walking home. Once I've adjusted to that, I'll walk up there to get her in the afternoon. I figure a week or two of doing that, and then we can walk up in the mornings too. It'll be cooler by then, so that will be better for both of us. It has been so damn hot and humid lately, that I have no desire to start her day with a big walk like that. She's still only 4!

So, IC that I'm feeling good about how things are improving and that I'm glad my new shoes are working out


----------



## Jeeshcristina

penguin said:


> IC that I've had to buy a second pair of sneakers, because the first pair were too narrow in the toe for me. The arch supports in my regular shoes kept moving about, which had the supports pushing on different parts of my feet. That caused me extra pain and walking my daughter to and from school could leave me in pain all day. I found a handheld massager amongst her toys (I'd completely forgotten about it!) and that was great for relieving some of the pain, but the new sneakers fit much better and it's so much easier to do the walk. It's not very fashionable, but I've never been one to follow fashion. I'm just glad that I'm not in agony as I walk.
> 
> AND the walk home used to take me 24 or so minutes - today I did in 16, without even trying to go faster. I guess it's a combination of not being in pain each step and building my endurance. I think about 15 minutes will be the quickest I can do it at a regular pace, and I'm happy with that. When she started school, 5 weeks ago, I would get the bus there and back, with a ten minute walk home. Now I'm getting the bus there and walking home. Once I've adjusted to that, I'll walk up there to get her in the afternoon. I figure a week or two of doing that, and then we can walk up in the mornings too. It'll be cooler by then, so that will be better for both of us. It has been so damn hot and humid lately, that I have no desire to start her day with a big walk like that. She's still only 4!
> 
> So, IC that I'm feeling good about how things are improving and that I'm glad my new shoes are working out


Penguin, 

It's so great that you finally got some shoes to fit right! Nothing is worse than being in pain when you're trying to be active! Congrats on shaving more time off your walks! Just getting out there and doing it makes so much of a difference in how you feel and your outlook in general. 

Good luck! Proud of you!


----------



## CastingPearls

PunkyGurly74 said:


> I fell last week - hurt myself pretty badly, fractured rib and bruised spleen - I didn't even know that was a thing.
> 
> and I have hypothyroidism ...
> He is starting me on meds, calling them in, and oh...to have energy again. I hope it works!!!



Wow, so sorry you got hurt (didn't know that was a thing either). After about six tries, I got a doctor to test me for low thyroid and sure enough, I was. It took about a month (don't be surprised if your dosage is adjusted after labs) and a dosage tweak and I feel so much better now. Good that you know now and yay for doctors who take us seriously.



penguin said:


> IC that I've had to buy a second pair of sneakers, because the first pair were too narrow in the toe for me. The arch supports in my regular shoes kept moving about, which had the supports pushing on different parts of my feet. That caused me extra pain and walking my daughter to and from school could leave me in pain all day. I found a handheld massager amongst her toys (I'd completely forgotten about it!) and that was great for relieving some of the pain, but the new sneakers fit much better and it's so much easier to do the walk. It's not very fashionable, but I've never been one to follow fashion. I'm just glad that I'm not in agony as I walk.
> 
> AND the walk home used to take me 24 or so minutes - today I did in 16, without even trying to go faster. I guess it's a combination of not being in pain each step and building my endurance. I think about 15 minutes will be the quickest I can do it at a regular pace, and I'm happy with that. When she started school, 5 weeks ago, I would get the bus there and back, with a ten minute walk home. Now I'm getting the bus there and walking home. Once I've adjusted to that, I'll walk up there to get her in the afternoon. I figure a week or two of doing that, and then we can walk up in the mornings too. It'll be cooler by then, so that will be better for both of us. It has been so damn hot and humid lately, that I have no desire to start her day with a big walk like that. She's still only 4!
> 
> So, IC that I'm feeling good about how things are improving and that I'm glad my new shoes are working out



It's so empowering to be able to do more than you could before, isn't it? When I first started going back to walking around the supermarket, I had to stop several times and now I whiz around like it's nothing. Next stop---walks around the local state park.


----------



## Sweetnlow

Lovelyone said:


> My birthday is coming up. I will be 45 years old and I feel 100 years older than that. Sometimes I look in the mirror and don't recognize the person staring back at me. She says things like "Man, you are OLD and fat. How in the hell did you get that many gray hairs? Wow, you've got a lot of wrinkles."
> 
> Then I tell her that I EARNED every one of those gray hairs, I do not have wrinkles, they are laugh lines. I tell her that I am not fat--I am a perfect size 6 under all this lushness and I just keep it covered up so it doesn't get scratched. In addition, I tell her to STFU and then I go in search of some butter pecan ice cream.



Oh that was great! I will try that myself when i look myself in the mirror. I don't understand why we are so disrespectful about ourselves. Would you tell another person that she's fat and old? No!


----------



## penguin

Jeeshcristina said:


> Penguin,
> 
> It's so great that you finally got some shoes to fit right! Nothing is worse than being in pain when you're trying to be active! Congrats on shaving more time off your walks! Just getting out there and doing it makes so much of a difference in how you feel and your outlook in general.
> 
> Good luck! Proud of you!



My feet still hurt a bit first thing in the morning and other times when I'm barefoot, but I wear some Birkenstock sandals at home and they make a big difference. I'm hoping the weather will be cooling down quickly so that walking up to school won't be horrible. And thanks, I'm pretty proud of me too!



CastingPearls said:


> It's so empowering to be able to do more than you could before, isn't it? When I first started going back to walking around the supermarket, I had to stop several times and now I whiz around like it's nothing. Next stop---walks around the local state park.



It really is. I am pretty active usually. I don't drive, so I have to walk or get buses and trains (though sometimes if I'm in a lot of pain I'll get a cab), but now I'm doing this extra activity it's even better. I don't like being in pain, so I know that walking more will help with my back pain as well as the issues with the feet I'm having. When I was pregnant I had terrible back pain from 15 weeks until I delivered. It was so amazing for that to all disappear once I delivered, so it's kind of like that again. But without the newborn 

It's about 1km between home and school, so I'm doing about 3km a day if I get the bus up there and walk home both times, and that'll go up to 4km/day when I walk up as well as back. I know it may not be much to some, but doing that much a day will be a BIG change for me. It'd be nice to get fitter and be able to run around after my daughter again. I have no intention of trying to be thin, but I do want to be healthier and fitter, and a side effect of that will be losing some weight.


----------



## Tau

I didnt fight back today. For the first time in a very long time I just didnt fight back. I was in the water, sea all around and waves just crashing on me and a group of 3 white girls stood in the water pointed and laughed at me. And they laughed at me for a while and I just looked at them and felt this empty kind of silence echoing in the place where I usually keep my rage. I was hurt and embarrassed but in a weird distant way  kind of like how I imagine ice burn would feel. Sharp but absent in the beginning and then unbearably searing  but the searing has not come with this particular burn and instead I just still feel... absent. Im tired of fighting. Im tired of constantly, daily, trying to fit myself into spaces where Im too fat and too black. I long to be in a space where I just fit  even just one thing about me fits  and Im not the freak who has to fight everything and everybody all the time. Im pissed at myself too because I always fight back  always. I just couldnt today. Im just feeling so depleted. And utterly alone you know  isolated. Not a good day.


----------



## Surlysomething

Tau said:


> I didnt fight back today. For the first time in a very long time I just didnt fight back. I was in the water, sea all around and waves just crashing on me and a group of 3 white girls stood in the water pointed and laughed at me. And they laughed at me for a while and I just looked at them and felt this empty kind of silence echoing in the place where I usually keep my rage. I was hurt and embarrassed but in a weird distant way  kind of like how I imagine ice burn would feel. Sharp but absent in the beginning and then unbearably searing  but the searing has not come with this particular burn and instead I just still feel... absent. Im tired of fighting. Im tired of constantly, daily, trying to fit myself into spaces where Im too fat and too black. I long to be in a space where I just fit  even just one thing about me fits  and Im not the freak who has to fight everything and everybody all the time. Im pissed at myself too because I always fight back  always. I just couldnt today. Im just feeling so depleted. And utterly alone you know  isolated. Not a good day.




I'm so sorry. -big hug-


----------



## nettie

nettie said:


> IC I did it. I registered for the Polar Plunge and within ten minutes of my posting on Facebook that I needed sponsors, my minimum goal was met. No way I can back out of it now!



Update: The Polar Plunge was FABULOUS! And I was able to raise over $500 for Special Olympics! Am already looking forward to doing it again next year.


----------



## littlefairywren

Tau said:


> I didnt fight back today. For the first time in a very long time I just didnt fight back. I was in the water, sea all around and waves just crashing on me and a group of 3 white girls stood in the water pointed and laughed at me. And they laughed at me for a while and I just looked at them and felt this empty kind of silence echoing in the place where I usually keep my rage. I was hurt and embarrassed but in a weird distant way  kind of like how I imagine ice burn would feel. Sharp but absent in the beginning and then unbearably searing  but the searing has not come with this particular burn and instead I just still feel... absent. Im tired of fighting. Im tired of constantly, daily, trying to fit myself into spaces where Im too fat and too black. I long to be in a space where I just fit  even just one thing about me fits  and Im not the freak who has to fight everything and everybody all the time. Im pissed at myself too because I always fight back  always. I just couldnt today. Im just feeling so depleted. And utterly alone you know  isolated. Not a good day.



Don't let them take your strength or let anyone make you feel less than you are. Extra tender ((((((((hugs)))))))).


----------



## HottiMegan

IC I have a major case of the Mondays. I'm tired and want to go back to sleep. My stomach bug is nearly out of my system but my body is hammered from it. Sleep is big time desired. I'm going to try and put Alex down for a nap. He hasn't had one in a long time but he might be okay if i put the tv on with a movie in his room. That could give me an hour of rest.


----------



## PunkyGurly74

Thanks to everyone for the kind words from this post and the one in the Lounge. Believe it or not...I'm okay at the moment.

Nothing was missing from my storage unit, the electric was turned on at the last minute, but, the heater is not working and there is this weird interaction going on with a company called Altisource - all calls are answered in India and their response to a broken furnace is that a renter of an apartment is supposed to pay to replace the entire furnace...lol

Code enforcement informed us that the bank is trying to force an illegal eviction ..which is common in situations like this. So...things are up in the air, in the meantime I am staying with a friend who was kind enough to take us (the dogs and I) in and I checked my storage unit and nothing was taken.

Also, I submitted a job application today, within 10 minutes I had a phone call a short interview and will have a longer phone interview tomorrow.

Soo...at the moment, even though there is an immense amount of stress and uncertainty....I'm okay - at the moment lol


----------



## Allie Cat

I started a new temp job on Friday. One more until US Steel drops off the bottom of my resume and I no longer have to worry about them saying crazy things about me to prospective employers. It'll be a lot easier to find work then, I think.

Also while I was at work I started writing for my blog. (subtle hint to check it out )

Also also, I decided to move across the country and go back to school for a second degree.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

I've lost 16 pounds now. 40 to go and I'm going to start working with a trainer this week. I am totally going to solve my foot pain issue and climb a mountain with my girls by the end of the summer.


----------



## sgageny

was dumped so spectacularly today, that i laughed out loud.
Facebook chat dumpage! Seriously?!... 
need something/someone new in my life.


----------



## aocutiepi

IC that I'm seriously considering entering the Miss Plus America pageant for my state. I've always wanted to do a pageant... decisions.


----------



## VeronicaVaughn

Even though I really, really love clothes most of the time I hate getting dressed. I wish I could be naked always.


----------



## Tau

aocutiepi said:


> IC that I'm seriously considering entering the Miss Plus America pageant for my state. I've always wanted to do a pageant... decisions.



Go for it!!!


----------



## Tau

VeronicaVaughn said:


> Even though I really, really love clothes most of the time I hate getting dressed. I wish I could be naked always.



Agreed  Clothes are too much admin


----------



## aocutiepi

aocutiepi said:


> IC that I'm seriously considering entering the Miss Plus America pageant for my state. I've always wanted to do a pageant... decisions.



I'M DOING IT! Thanks for the support... I'll keep you all posted even if you don't want me to, lol.


----------



## Jeeshcristina

aocutiepi said:


> I'M DOING IT! Thanks for the support... I'll keep you all posted even if you don't want me to, lol.



That's fantastic!!!! I'd love to hear updates, pics, and all the juicy details. You should do a blog about it, or a tumblr or something!


----------



## indigosky_

IC that he means a lot to me. And I guess that scares me. When I get scared I start to doubt everything and pull away, in fear that I am going to get hurt. Please show me that it doesn’t always have to end up like that. Pull me in closer so I don’t ruin something that I hope is good.


----------



## penguin

IC that I am feeling so freaking good right now, even though it's Monday morning  While I still get the heel pain, I've been walking up to the school in the afternoons to get my daughter, and then we walk home. This morning we walked up, and it took 40 minutes to walk there, drop her off and come home. We got there a few minutes before the bell went off, so it worked out really well. I was walking a bit faster than usual because I thought we'd be late, and she kept up nicely. I might leave a few minutes earlier tomorrow, so that it's not pushing her too much (she is still little!), but I feel very good about how well it went, and how good my body feels right now.


----------



## Jeeshcristina

IC I move every year, even if it's only half a mile away. It makes me feel a little more like the gypsy I long to be. Packing is kind of crummy, though. I want to be able to fit all of my possessions in my car by the end of the year. I hate feeling tied to anywhere. Call me an idealist or a dreamer, but I can't help it!


----------



## bbwprincess

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that I am tired of seeing guys who like chubby girls all over the world except here. It's like I picked the worst plsce ever to live cause there are none. I mean, wtf, this is like, comfort food capital. Almost all the girls are fat. Shouldn't there be boys that like us, too?



same here in my town! a lot of guys prefer the thin, blonde woman types. i wish people out here like chubby girls.


----------



## pjbbwlvr

bbwprincess said:


> same here in my town! a lot of guys prefer the thin, blonde woman types. i wish people out here like chubby girls.



I have the opposite problem, I adore Chubby girls! It is just that they don't like shorter guys like me :-(


----------



## Saoirse

Jeeshcristina said:


> IC I move every year, even if it's only half a mile away. It makes me feel a little more like the gypsy I long to be. Packing is kind of crummy, though. I want to be able to fit all of my possessions in my car by the end of the year. I hate feeling tied to anywhere. Call me an idealist or a dreamer, but I can't help it!



The gypsy life is a tough one! I have a few roaming friends, some I only see once a year. A part of me is jealous of their lives- they've traveled the world, met shitloads of people and had some pretty amazing and memorable adventures... but then I start to think about how much I love my home!


----------



## Shan34

IC that I forgot my age and had to click on my profile to read it LMAO...


----------



## Surlysomething

Shan34 said:


> IC that I forgot my age and had to click on my profile to read it LMAO...


 
Hahahaha. And it's not even Monday.


----------



## aocutiepi

Jeeshcristina said:


> That's fantastic!!!! I'd love to hear updates, pics, and all the juicy details. You should do a blog about it, or a tumblr or something!



Bad news bears... they closed registration early. BUT... I'm entered for next year. Prelims start in July and I totally plan on chronicling my journey on my personal page. More information about that will be forthcoming. 

Have I ever confessed how much I love this community and the support you all have given me? Without Dims, I don't think I would have had the love of self to try to do something like this.


----------



## HottiMegan

Shan34 said:


> IC that I forgot my age and had to click on my profile to read it LMAO...



I spent my 26th year of life telling everyone i was 27 cuz i just forgot.. I feel sheepish about that


----------



## bbwprincess

pjbbwlvr said:


> I have the opposite problem, I adore Chubby girls! It is just that they don't like shorter guys like me :-(



height doesnt matter to me. and thats great you adore chubby girls


----------



## Lovelyone

The older I get, the less I like flirting.


----------



## aocutiepi

I am over... OVER guys pretending to be interested in a relationship, then when I don't immediately jump into bed, they claim that they just "aren't ready for a relationship right now." When will I find someone who is interested in more than just having sex with me? I'm pretty bangable but I'm getting fed up...


----------



## HottiMegan

Ugh, my body has great timing to be a girl. I have cramps from hell and tylenol isn't cutting it! I mean i guess next week would be timed worse than this weekend.. but still. It sucks.


----------



## one2one

In a brainstorming meeting about what constitutes diversity, I said, "What about size?" It went on the white board and in the minutes. 

I think I just did step one.  

Onward; wish me luck because I'm gonna need it.


----------



## AuntHen

IC that my boyfriend is the most gentlemanly, loyal and constant man I know. I am a better woman because of him! I thank God so much for this amazing love! :wubu::happy::wubu:


----------



## penguin

IC that I'm a bit nervous. I'm waiting for my friend to pick us up to take us to the beach. I'm planning on going swimming today, and this will be the first time I've worn a swimsuit in public in years. Probably since before I got pregnant. I used to be quite confident about doing this, but because it's been so long, I haven't quite gotten that back yet. We're going to a 'family' beach, rather than a touristy one, but it will still be a big step for me. My daughter is very excited about me coming into the water with her, and she's told me several times that she likes my swimsuit (for the colour, and for how it makes my boobs look). I'm sure things will be fine, but still, I'm nervous.


----------



## spiritangel

penguin said:


> IC that I'm a bit nervous. I'm waiting for my friend to pick us up to take us to the beach. I'm planning on going swimming today, and this will be the first time I've worn a swimsuit in public in years. Probably since before I got pregnant. I used to be quite confident about doing this, but because it's been so long, I haven't quite gotten that back yet. We're going to a 'family' beach, rather than a touristy one, but it will still be a big step for me. My daughter is very excited about me coming into the water with her, and she's told me several times that she likes my swimsuit (for the colour, and for how it makes my boobs look). I'm sure things will be fine, but still, I'm nervous.



I saw the pic of you in your swimsuit on another thread you look Awesome, take a deep breath and just enjoy your time with your daughter that is the important thing


----------



## CarlaSixx

I hope it's a fun swim  You look great in that suit, Penguin.






-----


IC Although I know it's a compliment, I still find it hard to digest when people call me "pretty" or "beautiful" or anything like that to my face. I guess it's harder to shrug it off that way or something. I mean... I like the compliment, but a part of me is still not sure about it, either.


----------



## penguin

Thanks guys  It was a GREAT day at the beach. The weather was perfect, so we spent ages in the water. My daughter wants to be in the water but is still scared of it, so she spent most of it on my back. Once we got there, I felt fine. I didn't care what anyone else might or might not think  I do need to get the straps adjusted, though, as they're a little long and my boobs were in danger of popping out while in the water!


----------



## LifeTraveller

penguin said:


> Thanks guys  It was a GREAT day at the beach. The weather was perfect, so we spent ages in the water. My daughter wants to be in the water but is still scared of it, so she spent most of it on my back. Once we got there, I felt fine. I didn't care what anyone else might or might not think  I do need to get the straps adjusted, though, as they're a little long and my boobs were in danger of popping out while in the water!



So very glad your day at the beach went so well! Even though one is sure the day will go well, until you are there and in the midst of it you aren't positive! . . but you just had to tease us with that final comment. .


----------



## penguin

LifeTraveller said:


> So very glad your day at the beach went so well! Even though one is sure the day will go well, until you are there and in the midst of it you aren't positive! . . but you just had to tease us with that final comment. .



It was like they were trying to escape or become usable floatation devices. I had to keep adjusting my straps to keep them contained.


----------



## aocutiepi

CarlaSixx said:


> IC Although I know it's a compliment, I still find it hard to digest when people call me "pretty" or "beautiful" or anything like that to my face. I guess it's harder to shrug it off that way or something. I mean... I like the compliment, but a part of me is still not sure about it, either.



I feel the same way, Carla. It's really hard for me sometimes. I am a substitute teacher and the other day I had a fifth grader look me dead in the eye after meeting me five seconds earlier and say, "You're really pretty." Of course, I responded, "Aww, thank you!" but inside I was like... is she just sucking up? 

I also did the whole, "she's a kid, kids are nicer about stuff like that." Then I remembered she was getting ready to start middle school at 10 or 11 and that's the ripe age for girls to start becoming snarky toward other girls about looks if they aren't already. 

I wish I could just take the compliment and run with it, but I have these inner dialogues with myself that would probably make me seem like a crazy person. 

You're beautiful, Carla! OWN it! (Now to get myself to believe it, too )


----------



## penguin

IC that I've spent a LOT of time on this site over the last few days, and holy crap, I wish I'd discovered it years ago. Recognising my behaviour patterns, as well as those of the men I've been involved with, has been a real eye opener.


----------



## JSmirkingRevenge

IC that despite things going pretty well lately, i'm getting more and more depressed daily.

need to snap out of it!


----------



## Ruffie

I confess that I right now that I am angry. With everything that has gone on in my life accidents and falls that have left me injured and recovery from those, losing my job of nearly 11 years and my mothers terminal cancer diagnosis I am overwhelmed. There are people in my life who have been incredibly supportive but there are those who still make everything about them and expect me to do for them as I have in the past. There are family members who have not had anything to do with my mother and I and are all of a sudden offering their support. There are people who I have helped immensely who I have found out stabbed me in the back.

Intellectually I know that holding on to this anger is not good for me and that I have to release it. But emotionally I am hurt and raw and so frustrated that when I am going through something there are people who I have helped, loved and nurtured that are still narcissistic enough to not be there for me as I was for them. I do have a wonderful group of friends and some family that do support and love me and for that I am grateful. I am however mad about the phoney family members and friends, the ones who profess to love me but have been notably absent through all of my struggles, and hell just the struggles I am going through.

Maybe confessing this will help me to begin to release all of it little by little. That is my hope and prayer.


----------



## HottiMegan

Ic I hate how super sensitive I am to the hormone fluctuations in my body. It makes life more difficult.


----------



## Jeeshcristina

IC that there is something missing from my life, and I have no idea how to fix it.


----------



## Ruffie

I confess that I am really fed up with the amount of stress in my life. In addition to all the stuff I posted above had my hubby in the ER for a cardiac assessment. He now has started a new regimen of meds and goes for a stress test next week to determine if it is cardiac or something else that caused this episode. I think that I have had enough universe you can stop sending the crap my way ANYTIME! ARGH!


----------



## JerseyGirl07093

Ruffie said:


> I confess that I am really fed up with the amount of stress in my life. In addition to all the stuff I posted above had my hubby in the ER for a cardiac assessment. He now has started a new regimen of meds and goes for a stress test next week to determine if it is cardiac or something else that caused this episode. I think that I have had enough universe you can stop sending the crap my way ANYTIME! ARGH!



((HUG)) I hope that your husband is fine and I hope you start to get some relief from all the stress in your life. If anyone deserves a break it's you!


----------



## Ruffie

Thanks Girl! I appreciate the cyber hug and kind words!


----------



## lovelocs

IC that I have been invited out with some co-workers, to celebrate a birthday. IC that while I don't want to be seen as aloof, I sure as hell don't want to go. I do not want to party with 20-somethings who think it'd "be a hoot to see me get shit-faced." Been there, done that, got nothing in return. I think I'll go, buy a round or two, and while they're celebrating watered-down beer I'll make my gracious exit.


----------



## succubus_dxb

I confess that there's something in me that wants to get naked for strangers on the internet. The fact that my boyfriend wants to see me do it might be a big factor in it being a turn on.

:blush:


----------



## one2one

Ruffie said:


> I confess that I am really fed up with the amount of stress in my life. In addition to all the stuff I posted above had my hubby in the ER for a cardiac assessment. He now has started a new regimen of meds and goes for a stress test next week to determine if it is cardiac or something else that caused this episode. I think that I have had enough universe you can stop sending the crap my way ANYTIME! ARGH!



Huge (((hug))) for you, Ruffie. I'm really sorry things keep coming your way, and I hope it ends soon. If anyone deserves to win an all-expenses-paid vacation to the destination of their choice, it's you.



one2one said:


> In a brainstorming meeting about what constitutes diversity, I said, "What about size?" It went on the white board and in the minutes.
> 
> I think I just did step one.
> 
> Onward; wish me luck because I'm gonna need it.



Update: In an unexpected turn of events, I was nominated for co-chair of the committee. I accepted. This could be good.


----------



## JerseyGirl07093

succubus_dxb said:


> I confess that there's something in me that wants to get naked for strangers on the internet. The fact that my boyfriend wants to see me do it might be a big factor in it being a turn on.
> 
> :blush:



LOL I just made a similar confession in the Fat Sexuality forum. Naked boobies on Chatroulette for the win!  :blush:


----------



## Ruffie

Thank you one2one. I am beyond stressed with everything. This week my unemployment cut off after only a month. They think its a glitch in the system going off an old medical leave from last may that the benefits ran out there. When I went to the office they said there was nothing on the screen that says why so I have to wait for a letter in the mail to see why and then look at appeal or making a new claim. Hubbys stress test did not go well and he will have to go for a angiogram in the next few weeks. So yes that vacation away from everything all expenses paid would be nice!


----------



## lovelocs

lovelocs said:


> IC that I have been invited out with some co-workers, to celebrate a birthday. IC that while I don't want to be seen as aloof, I sure as hell don't want to go. I do not want to party with 20-somethings who think it'd "be a hoot to see me get shit-faced." Been there, done that, got nothing in return. I think I'll go, buy a round or two, and while they're celebrating watered-down beer I'll make my gracious exit.



Blowin' off coworkers and drinking. Ooooooooh yeahhhh!


----------



## Shan34

IC that I wish I could live nine or more lives. IC that I want to experience life as many different characters, individually. Impossible to be all in one life. If I had the patience and a way to coral my random thoughts in a pleasant order, I might be a good writer of books.

Starting to wonder if my all my daydreaming is a serious character flaw...Although I could never change it.


----------



## Gemini_Dreamz

IC that I like when my guy pulls out the cam to film my curves in the bedroom. BUT I *love* ice cream more.:eat2:


----------



## iamaJenny

I confess that I am really fucking tired of my landlord commenting about my weight every time he pops up at my house for some random reason. I know he is trying to be helpful but I do NOT like talking to him about whether or not I have worked out, how I work out and how he wants me to lose weight so I can get a good job and be successful in life and yadi yadi ya. He used to be a personal trainer and I know he doesn't mean any harm but I don't need to be reminded of my fatness every time I see him. Do I need to lose weight? Yes. but being criticized by a complete stranger is not going to help me. It just makes me uncomfortable and I usually end up eating for emotional reasons just as soon as he leaves. What is so wrong with being fat anyway? Why is it considered to be some epic flaw in my character? I am sick of people making me feel like I will never be happy or successful unless I am thin. I am sick of making myself think that I will never be happy or successful unless I am thin.:really sad:*Sigh*


----------



## calauria

iamaJenny said:


> I confess that I am really fucking tired of my landlord commenting about my weight every time he pops up at my house for some random reason. I know he is trying to be helpful but I do NOT like talking to him about whether or not I have worked out, how I work out and how he wants me to lose weight so I can get a good job and be successful in life and yadi yadi ya. He used to be a personal trainer and I know he doesn't mean any harm but I don't need to be reminded of my fatness every time I see him. Do I need to lose weight? Yes. but being criticized by a complete stranger is not going to help me. It just makes me uncomfortable and I usually end up eating for emotional reasons just as soon as he leaves. What is so wrong with being fat anyway? Why is it considered to be some epic flaw in my character? I am sick of people making me feel like I will never be happy or successful unless I am thin. I am sick of making myself think that I will never be happy or successful unless I am thin.:really sad:*Sigh*



I feel you. That's why I created a "mental mute button" inside my head.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

calauria said:


> I feel you. That's why I created a "mental mute button" inside my head.



The mental mute button is essential.


----------



## Shan34

IC that whenever I'm grounded somewhere, I want to leave. Anybody out there like me??


----------



## Lovelyone

iamaJenny said:


> I confess that I am really fucking tired of my landlord commenting about my weight every time he pops up at my house for some random reason. I know he is trying to be helpful but I do NOT like talking to him about whether or not I have worked out, how I work out and how he wants me to lose weight so I can get a good job and be successful in life and yadi yadi ya. He used to be a personal trainer and I know he doesn't mean any harm but I don't need to be reminded of my fatness every time I see him. Do I need to lose weight? Yes. but being criticized by a complete stranger is not going to help me. It just makes me uncomfortable and I usually end up eating for emotional reasons just as soon as he leaves. What is so wrong with being fat anyway? Why is it considered to be some epic flaw in my character? I am sick of people making me feel like I will never be happy or successful unless I am thin. I am sick of making myself think that I will never be happy or successful unless I am thin.:really sad:*Sigh*



Oh Jenny...I totally empathize with this. I used to have a neighbor who was like that. If I left my apartment to go to the store, take a walk...etc, He would peek his head out and say "It's nice to see you doing something about your weight". He would make comments like "I hope that you lose weight so that you can finally buy nice clothing" or "So nice to see you walking...I was worried that you would get on disability and suck up the funds for people whom are more deserving".

One day I started asking him questions back. He would ask about my weight--I would ask him if Rogain really works on balding men. He would make a comment about weight watchers--I would say, "Let me ask you something that you might know about...does Viagra really help elderly men with erectile dysfunction?". He would comment on me eating fast food and how unhealthy it was--I would ask how his love life is going or pop off with some statistics about smoking and men. I would ask these questions by cutting him off and without answering any of his questions. I think he got the hint after a while because he stopped asking me about my weight and commenting on my food.


oh and IC that other than reading somethings online that are disturbing to me, today has been a truly wonderful day.


----------



## Deacone

IC for the last hour i've been looking to see if there are any sugar daddies that would treat me to camera kit...because i am desparate and i am skint...curses lol


----------



## aocutiepi

IC I went to my first BBW event last night and brought a date because I was scared to go alone. After I got there, I wished that I hadn't. It would've been more fun--it was still fun, don't get me wrong--it would've been nice to mingle and get hit on by the cute guys there.


----------



## Lovelyone

IC that I am extremely fond of someone who is absolutely clueless about it. I will probably not bring it to light but it's nice to know that I can still have those kinds of feelings.


----------



## Marlayna

aocutiepi said:


> IC I went to my first BBW event last night and brought a date because I was scared to go alone. After I got there, I wished that I hadn't. It would've been more fun--it was still fun, don't get me wrong--it would've been nice to mingle and get hit on by the cute guys there.


It's okay that you had a date to keep the wolves away the first time. Take it slow, and take a gf to the next event.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

IC that sometimes I wish I had Sarah Michelle Gellar's little, tiny frame. Then I remember that I look better in a corset.


----------



## one2one

IC that at an appointment a few days ago, when the nurse weighed me and saw I'd lost ten pounds, she was so happy that it ticked me off. In the seven days prior to stepping on the scale I'd had surgery, the stomach flu and an allergic reaction that included the beginning of anaphylaxis, followed by lots of meds that knocked me out for more than a day. It was not a fun week for me. Which is probably why I looked at her and said, "It's fine, but you know I don't think weight loss is the holy grail." 

Was that too much?


----------



## AuntHen

one2one said:


> IC that at an appointment a few days ago, when the nurse weighed me and saw I'd lost ten pounds, she was so happy that it ticked me off. In the seven days prior to stepping on the scale I'd had surgery, the stomach flu and an allergic reaction that included the beginning of anaphylaxis, followed by lots of meds that knocked me out for more than a day. It was not a fun week for me. Which is probably why I looked at her and said, "It's fine, but you know I don't think weight loss is the holy grail."
> 
> Was that too much?



I don't think so... I have these annoying neighbors that like to try to "encourage" me about my walks and one day the lady had the nerve to say to the person next to her 1) like I wasn't there 2) probably thinking how much I would *appreciate *her words.... "oh that's the girl who walks all the time to lose weight". She also always says things like "keep it up... you're doing good" :doh:

Sighhh... I never told them I was walking to lose. They can only figure that a fat girl would walk for weightloss, not because she enjoyed it and that it makes us fatties feel so good to hear ANYTHING about losing weight (as if the best compliment ever)


----------



## Fluffy51888

IC that I am a HUGE procrastinator. You think I'd learn my lesson after being strapped for time and stressed over and over and over. But no. In fact I'm procrastinating right this second. Curses.


----------



## Fluffy51888

I also confess that there are several fine lookin' men over on the BHM board that I just want to PM and beg them to do dirty, dirty things to me. But apparentley that's inappropriate. Ugh.


----------



## peloton

Fluffy51888 said:


> I also confess that there are several fine lookin' men over on the BHM board that I just want to PM and beg them to do dirty, dirty things to me. But apparentley that's inappropriate. Ugh.



Nope..i am listening


----------



## CleverBomb

Fluffy51888 said:


> IC that I am a HUGE procrastinator. You think I'd learn my lesson after being strapped for time and stressed over and over and over. But no. In fact I'm procrastinating right this second. Curses.


I saw this yesterday.
I'll write up a response later.

- Rusty


----------



## CastingPearls

Hormones and the almost constant rain and not enough sunshine is making me really weepy the past few days.


----------



## Lovelyone

CastingPearls said:


> Hormones and the almost constant rain and not enough sunshine is making me really weepy the past few days.



Been there, needed a hug when I did that! (((((((((Hug))))))))))

As for me...I am finding it hard to accept compliments and I don't know why.


----------



## QuasimodoQT

Having a hard time getting over being angry with my mom's friend, who had offered her place for my mom to stay after she came home from the hospital following hip replacement surgery. She was the only one we knew who had no stairs.

First, she said she might be getting sick when we were 40 MINUTES from her place- (2 hour drive). If she was, then it's true she did have to say so, Mom has lowered immune response and can't get sick. But, because she regularly brags about never getting sick, the timing has me suspicious. And she said she noticed it that morning. Then say something that morning. We did NOT push to stay, and we were covering all costs, plus some extra. If she had qualms, she had ample opportunity to raise them. This abrupt change left my brother and me trying to rig some way to carry poor mom, who had already been up too long, upstairs at my parent's home at the last minute. Between a handcart (a la Hannibal Lecter) and a kitchen chair we used as a litter, we finally managed it.

Second, my dad went out to the friend's place to meet us. AFTER we spoke to her and we were clear that we were no longer staying. She said NOT ONE WORD to my dad that we weren't coming OR that she was sick, just chatting him up showing him how she had set things up for mom, and that she'd made her dinner. Like she wanted credit for it. When my dad started saying he was going to the police to ask about accidents, she finally spills it. So was she concerned about credit or hitting on him? If she was getting sick, thanks for talking to him for two hours so he can't help take care of mom until we see if he's getting sick or not. And if she was never sick, just trying to back out? That is many, many layers of messed up. I feel my blood pressure rise when I think about it. So angry.


----------



## Marlayna

QuasimodoQT said:


> Having a hard time getting over being angry with my mom's friend, who had offered her place for my mom to stay after she came home from the hospital following hip replacement surgery. She was the only one we knew who had no stairs.
> 
> First, she said she might be getting sick when we were 40 MINUTES from her place- (2 hour drive). If she was, then it's true she did have to say so, Mom has lowered immune response and can't get sick. But, because she regularly brags about never getting sick, the timing has me suspicious. And she said she noticed it that morning. Then say something that morning. We did NOT push to stay, and we were covering all costs, plus some extra. If she had qualms, she had ample opportunity to raise them. This abrupt change left my brother and me trying to rig some way to carry poor mom, who had already been up too long, upstairs at my parent's home at the last minute. Between a handcart (a la Hannibal Lecter) and a kitchen chair we used as a litter, we finally managed it.
> 
> Second, my dad went out to the friend's place to meet us. AFTER we spoke to her and we were clear that we were no longer staying. She said NOT ONE WORD to my dad that we weren't coming OR that she was sick, just chatting him up showing him how she had set things up for mom, and that she'd made her dinner. Like she wanted credit for it. When my dad started saying he was going to the police to ask about accidents, she finally spills it. So was she concerned about credit or hitting on him? If she was getting sick, thanks for talking to him for two hours so he can't help take care of mom until we see if he's getting sick or not. And if she was never sick, just trying to back out? That is many, many layers of messed up. I feel my blood pressure rise when I think about it. So angry.


Wow, how long have you two known this woman? Has she done sneaky or questionable things in the past?
If the answer is yes, it sounds like it's time to cut her loose... no matter how long she's been around.
If she can't be trusted, she's not a real friend. JMHO.
Good luck with your mom, and I hope you can work something out that doesn't rely on this person.


----------



## QuasimodoQT

Marlayna said:


> Wow, how long have you two known this woman? Has she done sneaky or questionable things in the past?
> If the answer is yes, it sounds like it's time to cut her loose... no matter how long she's been around.
> If she can't be trusted, she's not a real friend. JMHO.
> Good luck with your mom, and I hope you can work something out that doesn't rely on this person.



I've only met her once. But that's because I've spent 15 years living across the country, and only recently returned. Mom has known her most of that that time, and to my knowledge, no other shadiness. But this is a doozy.

And thanks, me too!


----------



## one2one

fat9276 said:


> I don't think so... I have these annoying neighbors that like to try to "encourage" me about my walks and one day the lady had the nerve to say to the person next to her 1) like I wasn't there 2) probably thinking how much I would *appreciate *her words.... "oh that's the girl who walks all the time to lose weight". She also always says things like "keep it up... you're doing good" :doh:
> 
> Sighhh... I never told them I was walking to lose. They can only figure that a fat girl would walk for weightloss, not because she enjoyed it and that it makes us fatties feel so good to hear ANYTHING about losing weight (as if the best compliment ever)



Ugh! That is totally annoying.


----------



## AuntHen

IC that I only have myself to blame.


----------



## littlefairywren

fat9276 said:


> IC that I only have myself to blame.



Are you ok, sweetheart?


----------



## HottiMegan

Ic that having kids really puts a damper on getting some. Its kind of frustrating.


----------



## Surlysomething

fat9276 said:


> IC that I only have myself to blame.




Oh girl. 


I feel you.


----------



## Lamia

I confess I decided not to go to my 25 year high school reunion. I saw a jerk from my class while getting food at Taco Bell. He was there with his daughters. I thought I was over this stuff, but seeing him brought up a lot of anger. 

While we were eating I got up to use the bathroom and I noticed his daughters laughing and whispering about me as I walked by and I thought..."wow big shock he taught his kids how to suck". They were gone when I came out and I wasn't in there very long. 

I got out to the car and told my neice about the jerk and his bratty kids. She said "Oh you saw them make fun of you?" I said.."Honey fat people always know when people are making fun of them...it's a gift". She said "Oh...well I wasn't going to tell you because I didn't want you to be sad, but those little bitches were laughing and they turned to look at me and I flipped those skanks off and gave em my best Niki Minaj face and they grabbed their stuff and yelled at their dad to leave NOW. Their dad was lost like he was high or something he didn't know what was going on."

I laughed, but at the same time I told her that you can't flip off people's kids. I am worried that when she is set up at festivals this summer this is going to come back to haunt her. The girls looked like they were 12 or 13.


----------



## Kamily

I confess that Im in love!!:wubu: In love with my DVR that is..LOL :blush:

Ever since I got it, I have been completely spoiled!! How in the world did I live without this thing??? I hate watching regular tv now and will record shows on purpose just so I can fast forward thru commercials.


----------



## KittyKitten

I'm bored and sometimes I look at Craig's list personal ads for the kicks. It hurts when you see the casual encounter ads filled with wanting to fuck a bbw such as, "looking for ebony big tittied bbw", "looking for big ass", etc then you see the more serious 'men for women' ads and they want slim, petite girls and if they are looking for women of color, they want them slim and petite. It hurts and it sucks that there are people that think women that look like me are for a good lay and that's it. Damn.


----------



## Tau

happyface83 said:


> I'm bored and sometimes I look at Craig's list personal ads for the kicks. It hurts when you see the casual encounter ads filled with wanting to fuck a bbw such as, "looking for ebony big tittied bbw", "looking for big ass", etc then you see the more serious 'men for women' ads and they want slim, petite girls and if they are looking for women of color, they want them slim and petite. It hurts and it sucks that there are people that think women that look like me are for a good lay and that's it. Damn.



I so hear you. I gave up on the internet thing for just that reason - just too exhausting and dehumanising. Sending hugz.


----------



## Surlysomething

happyface83 said:


> I'm bored and sometimes I look at Craig's list personal ads for the kicks. It hurts when you see the casual encounter ads filled with wanting to fuck a bbw such as, "looking for ebony big tittied bbw", "looking for big ass", etc then you see the more serious 'men for women' ads and they want slim, petite girls and if they are looking for women of color, they want them slim and petite. It hurts and it sucks that there are people that think women that look like me are for a good lay and that's it. Damn.




Trust me, it works the same way for BBW white girls. I've noticed the casual encounter thing vs. the dating thing for quite some time on Craig's list. It's pretty gross.


----------



## HottiMegan

Ic that sometimes I wish we still were confined to our bedroom during menstruation like days of old. I really want to curl up in bed. I feel like crap for several days a month.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

Surlysomething said:


> Trust me, it works the same way for BBW white girls. I've noticed the casual encounter thing vs. the dating thing for quite some time on Craig's list. It's pretty gross.



Yea, it's annoying. I don't online date. My stellar personality doesn't come throught, because the stupid shows up in writing quicker than in person, least most of the time.


----------



## Surlysomething

Eyebrow appointment booked
Pedicure booked
Hair cut booked

i'll be all freshened up for my baby's sisters wedding. Good lord, it's exhausting
being a woman sometimes. Haha.


----------



## Jeeshcristina

Surlysomething said:


> Eyebrow appointment booked
> Pedicure booked
> Hair cut booked
> 
> i'll be all freshened up for my baby's sisters wedding. Good lord, it's exhausting
> being a woman sometimes. Haha.



The sheer maintenance that goes into being a female is totally exhausting. That's why I make sure to get a weekly massage to unwind from all the plucking, pulling, teasing, and prodding. 


Can't wait to hear how the wedding goes! I'm sure it'll be lovely.


----------



## tinkerbell

HottiMegan said:


> Ic that sometimes I wish we still were confined to our bedroom during menstruation like days of old. I really want to curl up in bed. I feel like crap for several days a month.



I totally agree with that!!


----------



## Lovelyone

IC that I feel pretty today.


----------



## CastingPearls

I finally found someone I'm comfortable with at a local salon (10 minutes from the house) that waxes everything. No bad vibe, no doubtful looks, just 'Yeah sure, why not, I've been waxing for ten years and plenty of them were big.' In fact, she was willing to do it right then but I was on my way somewhere.


Aaaaand hair appt tomorrow. Looking forward to being a natural blonde again.


----------



## AuntHen

CastingPearls said:


> I finally found someone I'm comfortable with at a local salon (10 minutes from the house) that waxes everything. No bad vibe, no doubtful looks, just 'Yeah sure, why not, I've been waxing for ten years and plenty of them were big.' In fact, she was willing to do it right then but I was on my way somewhere.
> 
> 
> Aaaaand hair appt tomorrow. Looking forward to being a natural blonde again.




oh Lainey, I wish I had this lady to go to! Good for you


----------



## WVMountainrear

CastingPearls said:


> I finally found someone I'm comfortable with at a local salon (10 minutes from the house) that waxes everything. No bad vibe, no doubtful looks, just 'Yeah sure, why not, I've been waxing for ten years and plenty of them were big.' In fact, she was willing to do it right then but I was on my way somewhere.
> 
> 
> Aaaaand hair appt tomorrow. Looking forward to being a natural blonde again.



It's always fantastic when you find a provider of some type (be it a cosmotologist, physician, whatever the case may be) that you feel comfortable with...that's awesome!


----------



## Jeeshcristina

CastingPearls said:


> I finally found someone I'm comfortable with at a local salon (10 minutes from the house) that waxes everything. No bad vibe, no doubtful looks, just 'Yeah sure, why not, I've been waxing for ten years and plenty of them were big.' In fact, she was willing to do it right then but I was on my way somewhere.
> 
> 
> Aaaaand hair appt tomorrow. Looking forward to being a natural blonde again.



Ah, that is so awesome! Make sure you give us an update!!!!! And can't wait to see the new 'do!!!!


----------



## aocutiepi

Surlysomething said:


> Trust me, it works the same way for BBW white girls. I've noticed the casual encounter thing vs. the dating thing for quite some time on Craig's list. It's pretty gross.



I've noticed this as well. If I'm good enough to bang, I'm good enough for you to take me out in public, let me meet your friends and your parents, and introduce as your girlfriend. If you feel otherwise, I don't date boys, I date men. 

It's sad though, because finding a "man" is so hard.


----------



## Micara

I confess that I started reading "50 Shades Freed" even though I said I wasn't going to. It gives me something to do at the allergist when I have to sit there for 30 minutes before I can leave.


----------



## HottiMegan

Hubs is wondering why I am so interested in changing my look so much. Ic I think I'm going through a midlife crisis. 34 isn't too young for that, right? I'm looking into a nose piercing and possibly a tattoo. (he doesn't know about the tattoo plans yet.) I just want a change.


----------



## livelovelaughsmile

I confess that I really like someone. Annnd that I'm tired of being single! lol


I also confess that I'm about to eat a giant breakfast!


----------



## AuntHen

Sooo... I love to walk. I love how it makes me feel. I love fresh air. I love nature. I was raised in the country where we always had at least 10 acres to roam freely around on. Walking is a BIG part of who I am and what I love to do. Yes, it has physical health benefits (which are awesome) but it is not the main reason why I do it.

Tonight, on my nightly walk, a lady passed by me.. and did she say "hi" or "how are you" or "nice night"? Noooo... she said "keep it up" with a "go get em'" tone. Really?!? Keep WHAT up? You just have to *love* people (especially strangers) that think a fat person doing any kind of physical activity is just trying to lose weight AND they feel the need... NO, that it is their OBLIGATION to root us on :roll eyes:

I can't wait until she sees me tomorrow night in my tight hot pink tank top and bicycle shorts hehehehe


----------



## audreyee

I confess that there is this guy. He is one of my oldest and closest friends. We have great chemistry as friends and flirt a little. And I am SO in love with him. (he's dated girls weighing from 100 lbs to my size 375 lbs and treated them all with respect so I know he isn't an FA but that he loves women of all sizes) Lately he was slyly hinting that he is tired of being single. Last Saturday he threw a party and said I needed to be there because he wanted things to change in the romance department of his life. So I bought a new dress and new shoes, got my hair and makeup done, and got full body wax, eyebrow/facial threading and manicure and pedicure. I arrived at the party looking FIERCE, and my friend gathered everyone in attendance...and promptly introduced his new girlfriend. His extremely "conventionally hot", size zero, tiny, pixie-ish girlfriend. The party was so they could meet each others friends. And she was so kind to me (which made it even worse) and complimented my appearance even more then he did and asked me for fashion advice because of how "awesome" "hot" and "pretty" I am. Many of my friends who were there and even some people who I have never met complimented my look too, but all the guys there were drooling over her, especially my friend who has honestly never looked so happy. I pretended I was tired from work and left early and went home and cried myself to sleep and it's been over a week and I haven't left my apartment and barely gotten out of bed because I'm so sad.

(btw the way this is my first post here. It's nice to meet everyone)


----------



## littlefairywren

audreyee said:


> I confess that there is this guy. He is one of my oldest and closest friends. We have great chemistry as friends and flirt a little. And I am SO in love with him. (he's dated girls weighing from 100 lbs to my size 375 lbs and treated them all with respect so I know he isn't an FA but that he loves women of all sizes) Lately he was slyly hinting that he is tired of being single. Last Saturday he threw a party and said I needed to be there because he wanted things to change in the romance department of his life. So I bought a new dress and new shoes, got my hair and makeup done, and got full body wax, eyebrow/facial threading and manicure and pedicure. I arrived at the party looking FIERCE, and my friend gathered everyone in attendance...and promptly introduced his new girlfriend. His extremely "conventionally hot", size zero, tiny, pixie-ish girlfriend. The party was so they could meet each others friends. And she was so kind to me (which made it even worse) and complimented my appearance even more then he did and asked me for fashion advice because of how "awesome" "hot" and "pretty" I am. Many of my friends who were there and even some people who I have never met complimented my look too, but all the guys there were drooling over her, especially my friend who has honestly never looked so happy. I pretended I was tired from work and left early and went home and cried myself to sleep and it's been over a week and I haven't left my apartment and barely gotten out of bed because I'm so sad.
> 
> (btw the way this is my first post here. It's nice to meet everyone)



I'm so sorry you're hurting. I've no sage advice to give other than to be good to yourself and hopefully each day it will sting a little less. 

Welcome to the boards audreyee.


----------



## lottapounds

audreyee said:


> I Last Saturday he threw a party and said I needed to be there because he wanted things to change in the romance department of his life.
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry that happened. Maybe something better is waiting for you. Things fall apart so better things can fall together. If that is verbatim what he told you about coming to the party, it seems a bit cruel, instead of saying, i am having a party so me and my new girlfriend can meet each others' friends. Just a thought. It would really hurt my feelings if it happened to me. Welcome to the boards. i am kind of new too. the natives seem friendly
Click to expand...


----------



## CastingPearls

audreyee said:


> I confess that there is this guy. He is one of my oldest and closest friends. We have great chemistry as friends and flirt a little. And I am SO in love with him. (he's dated girls weighing from 100 lbs to my size 375 lbs and treated them all with respect so I know he isn't an FA but that he loves women of all sizes) Lately he was slyly hinting that he is tired of being single. Last Saturday he threw a party and said I needed to be there because he wanted things to change in the romance department of his life. So I bought a new dress and new shoes, got my hair and makeup done, and got full body wax, eyebrow/facial threading and manicure and pedicure. I arrived at the party looking FIERCE, and my friend gathered everyone in attendance...and promptly introduced his new girlfriend. His extremely "conventionally hot", size zero, tiny, pixie-ish girlfriend. The party was so they could meet each others friends. And she was so kind to me (which made it even worse) and complimented my appearance even more then he did and asked me for fashion advice because of how "awesome" "hot" and "pretty" I am. Many of my friends who were there and even some people who I have never met complimented my look too, but all the guys there were drooling over her, especially my friend who has honestly never looked so happy. I pretended I was tired from work and left early and went home and cried myself to sleep and it's been over a week and I haven't left my apartment and barely gotten out of bed because I'm so sad.
> 
> (btw the way this is my first post here. It's nice to meet everyone)


I'm so very sorry this happened to you. That would have crushed me too. Hugs.

Welcome to the boards, Audreyee.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

That's devastating. Sending hugs your way.


----------



## deanna banana

IC that I love reading this thread.


----------



## CastingPearls

deanna banana said:


> IC that I love reading this thread.


Welcome to the forums, Miss Banana!


----------



## Shan34

Surlysomething said:


> Eyebrow appointment booked
> Pedicure booked
> Hair cut booked
> 
> i'll be all freshened up for my baby's sisters wedding. Good lord, it's exhausting
> being a woman sometimes. Haha.



I have never got my eyebrow's done. I've thought about it quite a bit though. I always just pluck them the old fashioned way. Maybe I should just do it and see if it makes a big difference. 

IC that while extremely excited to see my daughter, I am also extremely nervous about flying...


----------



## Surlysomething

Shan34 said:


> I have never got my eyebrow's done. I've thought about it quite a bit though. I always just pluck them the old fashioned way. Maybe I should just do it and see if it makes a big difference.
> 
> IC that while extremely excited to see my daughter, I am also extremely nervous about flying...



it gets all those little strays that are hard to pluck and it's fast. I don't like the one at a time thing. Haha.


----------



## Saoirse

audreyee said:


> I confess that there is this guy. He is one of my oldest and closest friends. We have great chemistry as friends and flirt a little. And I am SO in love with him...



We seem to be kindred spirits. I am also incredibly and very deeply in love with a very close friend, someone who has known me since I was about 10 (he's 5 yrs older). He was my brother's friend all through school and after they graduated he moved away and I never really thought about him. He moved back to the area a few years ago and he found me on Facebook. We started hanging out a lot and we've become super close. He thinks of my family as his own and my parents absolutely adore him.

And through a series of texts the other day I let it out that I was hoping someday our relationship could be *more*. I got the "But I think of you as a little sister" reply.


----------



## Stefanydiwilmette

I just cellebrated my 21st wedding anniversary. I feel lonely and depressed.


----------



## Surlysomething

Just when I think I might be ok, that I might be able to let go of all the hurt and disappointment, a trap door opens up somewhere and I fall through it again, crashing against everything on my way down...never hitting the bottom, just spiraling out of control.

Why is this happening to me? Why can't I just throw everything away like he did and just walk like nothing every happened.

Like he did.




Stupid tears.


----------



## imfree

No giving of love is ever in vain. Precious tears are like jewels In the rain.

(paraphrased)


----------



## Surlysomething

My fat is like a heavy coat of hurt, disappointment, guilt and shame.


----------



## Lovelyone

I confess that I am seriously considering removing my yahoo IM because I can't seem to get through ONE conversation with any man without them bringing up food, weight, their sexual desires or sex in general. I am starting to feel as if they think of me as their own personal sex chat operator. If they ask me any of those things before asking me my name, age or where I am from...I put them on ignore which makes me wonder why I have IM at all? My ignore list is longer than the amount of people on my buddy list. There are times I feel stalked. I stay invisible because I can't long on without SOMEONE msg'ing me and saying something disrespectful. I've become cynical and believe that there probably aren't any men out there who think like I do.


----------



## nite_mare

I confess that I'm dating a 25 year old soon-to-be policeman. I've kept it a secret from my friends because I'm 40 and I don't want to hear the "you're too old for him" speech. But I'm seriously thinking of spilling the beans to them as well because he gives me goosebumps whenever I'm around him. *sigh*


----------



## CAMellie

nite_mare said:


> I confess that I'm dating a 25 year old soon-to-be policeman. I've kept it a secret from my friends because I'm 40 and I don't want to hear the "you're too old for him" speech. But I'm seriously thinking of spilling the beans to them as well because he gives me goosebumps whenever I'm around him. *sigh*



I'm 40 years old and happily married to a 27 year old gentleman. We've been together for 4 1/2 years. Be proud and stay strong.


----------



## BriannaBombshell

I confess that I have a huge desire for a loving honest but open relationship because I fear commitment but I still want someone to hold at night.


----------



## BriannaBombshell

CAMellie said:


> I'm 40 years old and happily married to a 27 year old gentleman. We've been together for 4 1/2 years. Be proud and stay strong.



Ps maybe not as big of an age jump but close, I am 30 and have been on a couple of dates with an AWESOME 20 year old. I think it's great... besides, men do it all the time!


----------



## prettyeyes77

IC... Gah. Ok so there is a guy, a friend of mine who I really like we always have so much fun together and he is so sweet and well, I wanted to ask him out but I have never asked a guy out before... So I sent him an email on face book to see if he wanted to see a movie with me over the weekend... But I completely panicked just before hitting send and added a bunch of crap to the email about how it was no big deal (yes it is!) and he could bring others along (like a date WFT?) if he wanted and I was asking a bunch of people (I am? what?) but wasn't sure if they would make it.... Then I sent it and asked a few other friends because I am an idiot, and I didn't want to lie to him  ... I know the only reason I am afraid he would say no is my weight... I am really pretty and blah blah but I don't know how he feels about big girls its never really come up and I don't want to mess up our friendship by making unwanted advances... But anyways he had work out of town and couldn't make it so crisis averted, sort of... But now I don't know if I should try again or not I am just spazing out! :doh: seriously how am I suppose to know if he is just being really sweet of flirting??? I am absolute shit at social cues! damn damn damn...


----------



## Lke_Stacies_Mom

I confess that I would really like to be 50lbs less than I am


----------



## PrettyOne1

prettyeyes77 said:


> IC... Gah. Ok so there is a guy, a friend of mine who I really like we always have so much fun together ...





I think we are soul twins...you sound JUST like me!! I freaked asking a guy to come to a movie with me and some friends...also did the whole "it's no big deal!" thing lol >.< For the next 30 min before he answered I was having some panic-induced heat stroke or something  He had other plans...I think...so he said anyway. I feel your pain!! lol


----------



## supersizebbw

ic i recently called up a guy who used to like me 10yrs ago, but i'm too chickensh!t to meet up with him because i've since put on 100pounds since we last met and not sure if he'll still like me now *sigh*


----------



## HottiMegan

IC I feel like i'm at the end of my rope. I'm being pulled in so many directions. I have stress with money, doctors appointments and not enough time. I haven't been sleeping well for weeks and I feel like I'm about to lose it. I seriously need an escape. I'd drink if it didn't make me feel hot and uncomfortable. 
Just Alex refusing to eat tonight sent me into a crying fit. ugh. I almost think a good 10-12 hours of solid sleep would cure what ails me.


----------



## livelovelaughsmile

I am stressed. I may have celiac's disease. The man I love broke up with me today. Not the greatest week ever.


----------



## jen68

Ok my confession: On July 25th of this year I had roux-en y gastric bypass surgery I have gone done 4 pant sizes since I started my pre op diet till now. I should feel great but I dont. I cant really eat cuz everything just taste ugly and i dont ever have an appetite but I really miss the comfort of the food. I never realized how much comfort I took in the food I ate. I have been feeling so emo lately and sometimes I wish I never did this surgery cuz I was so much happier when I ate. I miss my food I miss my beer and I miss my cigs. The excitement that I feel when I go down a pant size does not last as long as the joy I felt with my vices. That is so fucked up Im sure


----------



## jen68

I know how you feel I will be going on 21 years also this Dec. I feel the same way. He really loves and takes care a me but I feel that the only feelings I have for him at this time are that of good friends. I think of moving on at times but I dont wana hurt him. We have a good relationship and never argue but like I said my feelings for him are that of good friends and It is very lonely. Hang in there hope it gets better for us both


----------



## aocutiepi

For the first time in years, I have a new crush and it feels awesome and distracting and wonderful. I've missed feeling giddy and getting dolled up for class to flirt with a cute guy. It might be a futile crush, but I'm going to have fun anyway. Besides, life's too short not to flirt with cute guys! :wubu:


----------



## runningsoft

Hey All,

I wanted to bounce something off of everyone and hopefully get some feedback, but first I need to give you some back story. 

I've recently discovered that I liked a girl (surprise, how original!) from high school and we've been in touch throughout the last decade.

We've always joked for ages how we both gain/lose weight depending on the year, relationships, etc. We occasionally swap above-waist photos to each other as we're both in relationships, but live too far to hang out anymore.

Although I've slowly broken her into the fact that I appreciate bigger girls, and joke constantly that "she's too skinny for me". There is interest, but not the same enthusiasm as there is on my end. 

I even went so far as to gain 10-15 lbs on a whim "summer vacation" with progression photos which she saw, commented on, but again not the same enthusiasm. 

Thoughts?


----------



## runningsoft

Hey All,

I wanted to bounce something off of everyone and hopefully get some feedback, but first I need to give you some back story. 

I've recently discovered that I liked a girl (surprise, how original!) from high school and we've been in touch throughout the last decade.

We've always joked for ages how we both gain/lose weight depending on the year, relationships, etc. We occasionally swap above-waist photos to each other as we're both in relationships, but live too far to hang out anymore.

Although I've slowly broken her into the fact that I appreciate bigger girls, and joke constantly that "she's too skinny for me". There is interest, but not the same enthusiasm as there is on my end. 

I even went so far as to gain 10-15 lbs on a whim "summer vacation" with progression photos which she saw, commented on, but again not the same enthusiasm. 

The snag is that I fantasize about this woman constantly but don't wish to ruin our lengthy friendship based on my wants.

Thoughts?


----------



## Micara

IC that I need to quit crushing on guys in glasses. It's gonna get me in trouble.


----------



## CaAggieGirl

IC that I do not feel that I am/ever will be worthy of anyone's love.

IC that occasionally I am told I am beautiful, but I do not believe them and it makes my heart hurt to know people will flat out lie to me like this. :really sad:


----------



## WVMountainrear

I just want things to get better.


----------



## spiritangel

IC I see a super long stretch of being single given this is a small town and I am absolutely over the whole small talk online dating site thing with the same conversation on repeat, whatever happened to being an original.... hmm perhaps that should be

IC I am over the sheep


----------



## sgageny

ic that it fucking sucks that no one lives up to the expectations i have after dating my ex boyfriend. IC it sucks being lonely and junk and no one ever seems to beat the way he made me feel.. ugh. i think im gonna get drunk and forget it all.


----------



## Shan34

IC that I'm really excited about leaving Alaska. I suspect another cruel winter ahead and I don't wanna stick around for it.


----------



## HottiMegan

IC I'm thinking on seeing if hubs will take the boys to the appointment in Sacramento so i can have some much needed "me" time. I rarely have me time now that both boys are in school. I spend my day carting kids to school and making sure i'm home to care for the other.. it's just no down time.


----------



## HottiMegan

I'm finding my PMS more pronounced as i get older. The hormone send me into a tizzy so easily. I'm so ready for menopause.. I don't want to wait another 20 years!! (That's just a low estimate from info from the women in my family)


----------



## Pandasaur

I sometimes feel guilty about taking full body pictures of myself and posting them on dating sites. I feel like it isn't me and I ask my friends over and over if I actually look like the pictures. I just don't want to appear misleading.


----------



## lozonloz

IC that I am so tired of my touch hangups.

Every 6 months to a year I try and date and see if I'm over it. Everything goes OK, then they try to hug me, or hold my hand, and I feel physically sick.

Nope, still not there yet...

I miss cuddles.


----------



## Aust99

Ic to feeling very unsexy lately... Need to get out of my head funk!


----------



## Mishty

Gonna try to get some penis tonight to celebrate the bon voyage of my 20's.


----------



## spiritangel

Aust99 said:


> Ic to feeling very unsexy lately... Need to get out of my head funk!



Maybe its the crazy weather cause I have been feeling extremely unsexy myself of late I mean its hard to feel sexy when one minute your boiling hot and the next minute your huddling under the dooner...............


----------



## KittyKitten

Wanted to be his girlfriend, don't want to be just a fuck buddy to him. But I want him, I want him, he wants me, finds me gorgeous and sexy, chemistry is so there, sex is so wonderful, if only........


----------



## spiritangel

IC I think I screwed it up big time but I just dont have the cash for a do over atm so hoping she will love it anyway even if it is short I mean I can make her another one next year and make sure I get the sizing right this is all a work in progress for me a learning curve as such god I hate it when I look at something I have made and feel like its complete crap and waste of time and resources


----------



## Lovelyone

spiritangel said:


> IC I think I screwed it up big time but I just dont have the cash for a do over atm so hoping she will love it anyway even if it is short I mean I can make her another one next year and make sure I get the sizing right this is all a work in progress for me a learning curve as such god I hate it when I look at something I have made and feel like its complete crap and waste of time and resources



I'm feeling this exact same way at the moment. I promised to paint some angel ornaments for a gifting for a lady who is having issues with buying Christmas for her babies. After promising and starting them, I realized that I don't have the paint needed to finish them and I don't have the funds to get what I need. I feel like crap and am hoping that I find a way to get what I need. UGH.


----------



## Lovelyone

Lovelyone said:


> I'm feeling this exact same way at the moment. I promised to paint some angel ornaments for a gifting for a lady who is having issues with buying Christmas for her babies. After promising and starting them, I realized that I don't have the paint needed to finish them and I don't have the funds to get what I need. I feel like crap and am hoping that I find a way to get what I need. UGH.



E.T.A. that was lucky enough to to have someone donate the paint I needed for the ornaments. Our church is helping out several families and I'm happy that I get to donate to the church gifting even though I haven't the money to donate to them.


----------



## PrettyOne1

IC that sometimes I am glad to have been fat pretty much my whole life, simply because I don't have to be sad/worry over how my body "used to be"...haven't known anything different! 
I think I feel more comfortable in my body than that of a normal-to-thin-sized co-worker who was upset over how her figure has changed and practically starved herself today. :-/


----------



## CarlaSixx

I wish I was more comfortable with my naked body. 

I mean... I accept my size perfectly, and I'm okay with the fact that some things droop and hang, and some things jiggle more than others... But there's something about the fact that I can't change the little details... that bugs me. 

I want to seem confident and self-assured next time I am intimate with anyone, but with obsessing over skin discolourations and body hair that is impossible to remove on my own... It makes it hard to believe my naked body could be seen as attractive.

I'm a force to be reckoned with when my clothes are on. I just wish even a small fragment of that confidence could trickle into my personality when the clothes come off


----------



## Pandasaur

I confess that getting a hug from the opposite sex tonight felt so freaking weird....O_O its been months since I got a hug from someone


----------



## CaAggieGirl

IC that the past two weeks have been hell. I wish the dentist would just knock me out tomorrow so I can escape my thoughts for awhile.


----------



## katherine22

CarlaSixx said:


> My friend just up and moved in with his new boyfriend of only a week and now I have only one friend left in my city and she isn't exactly the type of person I want to hang out with all that often. So I feel really lonely and know it's going to be Hell from here on in because I will never have anything to do and it's going to kill me. I don't know how to make friends and have nothing to do, anyways, that would get me to make any friends. I checked out the programs that schools in my city ould be offering to see if anything would interest me to attend and possibly make friends through that. Sadly, jewellery making and flower arrangement does not interest me in the least, so I am shit out of luck. I'm worried for my sanity. I've been crying all night about it. I hate being lonely and I'm now lonelier than ever.



Suppose you could accept being lonely. Women get the message that their loneliness is an emblem of failure. Why do women think that they must have connection to another human being to feel authentic and validated. If this trend holds, most people are going to be alone for significant periods of time.


----------



## Jeeshcristina

CarlaSixx said:


> I wish I was more comfortable with my naked body.
> 
> I mean... I accept my size perfectly, and I'm okay with the fact that some things droop and hang, and some things jiggle more than others... But there's something about the fact that I can't change the little details... that bugs me.
> 
> I want to seem confident and self-assured next time I am intimate with anyone, but with obsessing over skin discolourations and body hair that is impossible to remove on my own... It makes it hard to believe my naked body could be seen as attractive.
> 
> I'm a force to be reckoned with when my clothes are on. I just wish even a small fragment of that confidence could trickle into my personality when the clothes come off



I can relate, Carla. It's frustrating because with clothes you can use belts to cinch and accentuate, lingerie keeps things perky, I know I just feel more...polished. And then I'm naked and it's all kinda....there. Lol It's not a bad thing but like you said it's frustrating trying to shave and having all of these nooks and crannies to contend with!!!


----------



## Saoirse

CarlaSixx said:


> I wish I was more comfortable with my naked body.
> 
> I mean... I accept my size perfectly, and I'm okay with the fact that some things droop and hang, and some things jiggle more than others... But there's something about the fact that I can't change the little details... that bugs me.
> 
> I want to seem confident and self-assured next time I am intimate with anyone, but with obsessing over skin discolourations and body hair that is impossible to remove on my own... It makes it hard to believe my naked body could be seen as attractive.
> 
> I'm a force to be reckoned with when my clothes are on. I just wish even a small fragment of that confidence could trickle into my personality when the clothes come off




Ooooooh I usually feel the same way. Not only am I a fatty, but my exzema is acting up bad this season and shaving makes it worse, so I'm covered in red itchy patches and I'm as hairy as Chewbacca. But damn I just had amazing sex and the best part was when he said YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. and I believe him


----------



## livelovelaughsmile

IC that I have ventured into a realm I swore I never would-- talking to a married man. I didn't know at the time we started talking that he was... and he just told me this week. He continues to talk and email me. I am super into him so I don't know what to do :/. My logical brain knows to break it off... yet my libido says otherwise. Any suggestions/comments? GREATLY appreciated.


----------



## Donna

livelovelaughsmile said:


> IC that I have ventured into a realm I swore I never would-- talking to a married man. I didn't know at the time we started talking that he was... and he just told me this week. He continues to talk and email me. I am super into him so I don't know what to do :/. My logical brain knows to break it off... yet my libido says otherwise. Any suggestions/comments? GREATLY appreciated.



My apologies upfront for being blunt: You need to break it off now. You know this; you said your logical brain knows to break it off. Does that make it hurt any less knowing that you are doing the right thing? Will that appease the longing and your libido? Probably not. But trust me, as someone who didn't listen to their logical brain once, it will hurt a lot more later. And the hurt won't just be yours, either. 

If you decide not to listen to your logical side and my blunt advice, at least think about this: why did he not tell me upfront and why is he telling me now? Good luck.


----------



## Marlayna

livelovelaughsmile said:


> IC that I have ventured into a realm I swore I never would-- talking to a married man. I didn't know at the time we started talking that he was... and he just told me this week. He continues to talk and email me. I am super into him so I don't know what to do :/. My logical brain knows to break it off... yet my libido says otherwise. Any suggestions/comments? GREATLY appreciated.


Is this a cyber relationship so far, or have you met him in person and done the deed? Either way, these things never end well. He deceived you, and he's sure as heck deceiving his wife. I suggest you trun your back on him completely and look for someone who is available. As long as you're involved emotionally or physically with a married man, you'll never meet the single man who is looking for you.


----------



## Marlayna

Saoirse said:


> Ooooooh I usually feel the same way. Not only am I a fatty, but my exzema is acting up bad this season and shaving makes it worse, so I'm covered in red itchy patches and I'm as hairy as Chewbacca. But damn I just had amazing sex and the best part was when he said YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. and I believe him


 Men that can love us and accept us as we are, are the best!


----------



## Pandasaur

A guy just stopped talking to me because I mentioned that I didn't like to cuddle...really? ITS TEXAS..ITS HOT AS HELL HERE...I can't handle anymore body-heat than my own. I hate the heat...


----------



## spiritangel

IC That was the most fun I have had anywhere in ages I have not laughed so much or had the joy of thinking on my feet and riffing I honestly do not know if we will ever chat again but it was awesome and much needed


----------



## livelovelaughsmile

spiritangel said:


> IC That was the most fun I have had anywhere in ages I have not laughed so much or had the joy of thinking on my feet and riffing I honestly do not know if we will ever chat again but it was awesome and much needed



AWESOME! That's a great confession!!! Congrats hun!

And thanks ladies! Your advice and guidance is much needed on my behalf


----------



## spiritangel

livelovelaughsmile said:


> AWESOME! That's a great confession!!! Congrats hun!
> 
> And thanks ladies! Your advice and guidance is much needed on my behalf




Hugs thanks shame we talked again and he is married..... he knows I wont go there with a married man no way no how though I did spell that out again today when he emailed.


----------



## CaAggieGirl

IC that after being ten days late, I have never been so happy to see AF. Not because I thought I was preggo, but I was worried so,etching may be wrong since I have never been late in my life. :bow:


----------



## AuntHen

livelovelaughsmile said:


> IC that I have ventured into a realm I swore I never would-- talking to a married man. I didn't know at the time we started talking that he was... and he just told me this week. He continues to talk and email me. I am super into him so I don't know what to do :/. My logical brain knows to break it off... yet my libido says otherwise. Any suggestions/comments? GREATLY appreciated.



I am not going to say you should do this or that but I can tell you from my own personal childhood experience that an affair can utterly DESTROY a family. You never know if there are children involved and what you may be doing to them or the partner of this man.


----------



## Surlysomething

I agree. Big time. 



fat9276 said:


> I am not going to say you should do this or that but I can tell you from my own personal childhood experience that an affair can utterly DESTROY a family. You never know if there are children involved and what you may be doing to them or the partner of this man.


----------



## Lovelyone

I miss going on dates. I miss the hours beforehand of prettying myself up and the excitement that goes with it. I miss the holding hands and the first kiss. I just miss it.


----------



## BigBrwnSugar1

livelovelaughsmile said:


> IC that I have ventured into a realm I swore I never would-- talking to a married man. I didn't know at the time we started talking that he was... and he just told me this week. He continues to talk and email me. I am super into him so I don't know what to do :/. My logical brain knows to break it off... yet my libido says otherwise. Any suggestions/comments? GREATLY appreciated.



Another thing to consider is that he is willing to cheat on his wife, he will most surely cheat on you!!!!!! Men f*cking suck - and not in a good way!


----------



## one2one

livelovelaughsmile said:


> IC that I have ventured into a realm I swore I never would-- talking to a married man. I didn't know at the time we started talking that he was... and he just told me this week. He continues to talk and email me. I am super into him so I don't know what to do :/. My logical brain knows to break it off... yet my libido says otherwise. Any suggestions/comments? GREATLY appreciated.



He gave you a perfect opportunity to call 'game over', and if you let it pass by it will only become more difficult to do it later. And this is a game to him, one in which keeping you super into him gives him what he wants. He's not completely without that in his marriage, despite what he may have said. In fact, he'll probably be spending Christmas, New Year's and your birthday with her ... not with you. 

If he does leave her, it doesn't mean he'll want a relationship because he just left one. In a manner of speaking, he already has and simply didn't have the courage or decency to let his wife know. That's what you'll have, too, if you do end up with him, and all of it will become your problem instead of hers at that point. If none of that dissuades you then consider the fact that you will have crossed a line that you chose for yourself about who you are and who you wanted to be. You can do that if you want to, but you won't be able to cross back. You will no longer be someone who would 'never do that'.


----------



## KittyKitten

I'm seriously about to give up on finding true love. The guys that I really like either want some other chick, are emotionally aloof, or are too far away. I guess I'm too "nice" to them, too dorky, not enough 'tude'. The guys I don't want are the main ones trying to get with me. Maybe I'm too picky? I don't think so. I just have some standards. I simply want the guy to be attractive to my eyes, stable in all sorts of ways (mentally, sexually, emotionally, financially), caring, understanding, honest, and nice but with a certain edge, if you know what I mean. Is that too much to ask? This has been happening lately. I'm tired of this bad juju. And it also seems like so many guys my age these days have a one track mind. Maybe I need to be more bitchy, no I don't want to change myself. Rant over.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

IC that I really liked him and he seemed like a good fit, but apparently knowing that he's not as tall as the men I usually date made him think I was settling. Also, the fact that my brain doesn't click when I'm running a fever, jetlagged from flying and functioning on two hours of sleep was an issue.

I haz a sad, but luckily the cats are determined to cheer me up or at least cuddle me to death.


----------



## hal84

Diana_Prince245 said:


> IC that I really liked him and he seemed like a good fit, but apparently knowing that he's not as tall as the men I usually date made him think I was settling. Also, the fact that my brain doesn't click when I'm running a fever, jetlagged from flying and functioning on two hours of sleep was an issue.
> 
> I haz a sad, but luckily the cats are determined to cheer me up or at least cuddle me to death.



A cat is always willing to spend the time needed to cheer you up.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

Cats are pretty wonderful creatures, aren't they?


----------



## hal84

They really, really, are very friendly comforting creatures.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

hal84 said:


> They really, really, are very friendly comforting creatures.



Totally, the purring thing is a big plus.


----------



## CastingPearls

Small furry containers of great big souls. I adore them, so zen.


----------



## 1love_emily

I confess that looking up my boyfriend's Dims profile and comments wasn't my smartest move. Now I'm jealous and lonely. :huh:


----------



## CaAggieGirl

IC my insecurity level has been ultra high for about the past 3 to 4 weeks. I hate this feeling and I wish it would go away, but the dark thoughts just keep rolling into my head.

Also, IC the next person that tells me "my time is running out" to have a baby so I better start working on it if I want one, I am going to shank with whatever item is closest to me at that time. I know, I am almost 30, if it is meant to be, it will happen.


----------



## bbwlibrarian

1love_emily said:


> I confess that looking up my boyfriend's Dims profile and comments wasn't my smartest move. Now I'm jealous and lonely. :huh:



LOL, I've been there! Sometimes curiosity is a good thing, and sometimes it's best to let your SO's dark, lusty secrets lurk there in the closet.

IC that I only log into Dims once a year, and that's a bad thing. Bad, bad, bbwlibrarian!


----------



## Surlysomething

I honestly don't why people think they have the right to say anything about the choices we make in our lives regarding children/marriage. My parents NEVER ever, ever hassled me. I had one Great Aunt that mentioned it to me and when I told her I didn't think I would. Especially not the marriage part because it's just not me. She kept saying I would change my mind. My Mom actually backed me up and this Aunt never said it again.

It's NO ONE'S BUSINESS and i'd let them know that. And you're not even close to "running out" of time. Gah.

Sorry about your insecurity level too. I feel you. 






CaAggieGirl said:


> IC my insecurity level has been ultra high for about the past 3 to 4 weeks. I hate this feeling and I wish it would go away, but the dark thoughts just keep rolling into my head.
> 
> Also, IC the next person that tells me "my time is running out" to have a baby so I better start working on it if I want one, I am going to shank with whatever item is closest to me at that time. I know, I am almost 30, if it is meant to be, it will happen.


----------



## calauria

CaAggieGirl said:


> IC my insecurity level has been ultra high for about the past 3 to 4 weeks. I hate this feeling and I wish it would go away, but the dark thoughts just keep rolling into my head.
> 
> Also, IC the next person that tells me "my time is running out" to have a baby so I better start working on it if I want one, I am going to shank with whatever item is closest to me at that time. I know, I am almost 30, if it is meant to be, it will happen.



People are just stupid. Why don't they mind their own business!!! Geez!!!


----------



## CarlaSixx

I hate how my friends joke about fat people in very rude ways and then just expect me to sit idly by and not take offense or feel like it was directed at me.


----------



## calauria

CarlaSixx said:


> I hate how my friends joke about fat people in very rude ways and then just expect me to sit idly by and not take offense or feel like it was directed at me.



I hate when people do that shit, too!! I feel you!!!


----------



## bbwlibrarian

CarlaSixx said:


> I hate how my friends joke about fat people in very rude ways and then just expect me to sit idly by and not take offense or feel like it was directed at me.



I had friends like that too. Had.

Either you talk to them and they realize that they have offended you, or you talk to them and they go defensive. Nothing will change, however, unless you confront them.


----------



## Surlysomething

I never imagined missing someone so much for so long. 
It's the grossest feeling i've ever experienced.

I'm dealing with it better as of late, but I cried today for the first time in a month.


Stupid heart.


----------



## Jeeshcristina

Surlysomething said:


> I never imagined missing someone so much for so long.
> It's the grossest feeling i've ever experienced.
> 
> I'm dealing with it better as of late, but I cried today for the first time in a month.
> 
> 
> Stupid heart.



Crying can be a very helpful, very necessary thing though. I'm sorry for your hurting heart Surly. :-( It will get better, but sometimes that achy void doesn't quite go away I think. It's such a mess being a human sometimes.


----------



## CastingPearls

Surlysomething said:


> I never imagined missing someone so much for so long.
> It's the grossest feeling i've ever experienced.
> 
> I'm dealing with it better as of late, but I cried today for the first time in a month.
> 
> 
> Stupid heart.


'For the first time in a month' is progress to me. It will get better. And better. 

Meanwhile ***Hugs***


----------



## Surlysomething

Thanks, Elaine. I feel like i've made progress, but man, I miss my friend so much.

Stupid heart, stupid Christmas, stupid memories.

*hug*




CastingPearls said:


> 'For the first time in a month' is progress to me. It will get better. And better.
> 
> Meanwhile ***Hugs***


----------



## HottiMegan

Cramps from hell make me want to hibernate in my room for the next couple of days with a heating pad. I'm so ready for menopause.


----------



## Surlysomething

I forgot to thank you, missy. *hug*






Jeeshcristina said:


> Crying can be a very helpful, very necessary thing though. I'm sorry for your hurting heart Surly. :-( It will get better, but sometimes that achy void doesn't quite go away I think. It's such a mess being a human sometimes.


----------



## Surlysomething

Thank you for the rep, Megan.

Hope you feel better soon. (I can't wait till all this girlie business is over too.  )


HottiMegan said:


> Cramps from hell make me want to hibernate in my room for the next couple of days with a heating pad. I'm so ready for menopause.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

Surlysomething said:


> Thanks, Elaine. I feel like i've made progress, but man, I miss my friend so much.
> 
> Stupid heart, stupid Christmas, stupid memories.
> 
> *hug*



I think Christmas/the holiday season tends to be a really hard time to deal with broken hearts or missing loved ones. It always feels like there's a hole in your heart that time of year.

Hugs, lady.


----------



## hal84

Surlysomething said:


> I never imagined missing someone so much for so long.
> It's the grossest feeling i've ever experienced.
> 
> I'm dealing with it better as of late, but I cried today for the first time in a month.
> 
> 
> Stupid heart.



I wouldn't say its a gross feeling but rather of feeling of change. With an expectation no longer met with change comes the unknown. so I'd say your feeling a sense of the blinging unknown.


----------



## Marlayna

HottiMegan said:


> Cramps from hell make me want to hibernate in my room for the next couple of days with a heating pad. I'm so ready for menopause.


I went through menopause, and it was practically a walk in the park. I've never been happier. The whole period thing was an absolute bummer, and the PMS was the pits. It's beautiful not to bleed.:bow:


----------



## sweetfrancaise

Surlysomething said:


> I never imagined missing someone so much for so long.
> It's the grossest feeling i've ever experienced.
> 
> I'm dealing with it better as of late, but I cried today for the first time in a month.
> 
> 
> Stupid heart.



Oh, lady. I've been feeling that for nearly three years now and it pops up during the most inconvenient times. Seeing his name, talking to his friends, seeing a movie that touches on something familiar--it's never when you expect and it's never easy. It's a heavy brick in your pocket that you can't remove, a hole you can't quite fill and refuses to heal.

Grief is a bitch.


----------



## spiritangel

IC I have to stop sending messages into the void facepalm when will I darn well learn that lesson and stop being such a chatty cathy


----------



## Surlysomething

For me it's been a pretty gross feeling.




hal84 said:


> I wouldn't say its a gross feeling but rather of feeling of change. With an expectation no longer met with change comes the unknown. so I'd say your feeling a sense of the blinging unknown.


----------



## Surlysomething

Grief. That's the word I think of when dealing with these feelings. I'm not sure why it has come on suddenly the past couple of days though. Probably hormones and Christmas and all the couple things people are doing. I keep thinking there's something wrong as it's been a year and i'm still so hurt...it's comforting to know i'm not alone.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. *hug*



sweetfrancaise said:


> Oh, lady. I've been feeling that for nearly three years now and it pops up during the most inconvenient times. Seeing his name, talking to his friends, seeing a movie that touches on something familiar--it's never when you expect and it's never easy. It's a heavy brick in your pocket that you can't remove, a hole you can't quite fill and refuses to heal.
> 
> Grief is a bitch.


----------



## KittyKitten

Men!!!! You tell them you fancy them, they run away. But you tell them you're not interested, they continue to stay on you like white on rice......


----------



## spiritangel

KittyKitten said:


> Men!!!! You tell them you fancy them, they run away. But you tell them you're not interested, they continue to stay on you like white on rice......



You know its such an odd thing its like no I dont want you now I can have you fine beep you oh I want you bad rolls eyes sometimes I just wish people would grow up.

My eldest niece has a harem of men seriously just friends (though they all fancy her she has made it clear she isnt interested) that will jump through burning fire for her and anytime she says oh I like that they buy it for her, she is a complete bitch to them to I really wonder about it my sister also says she is a complete shrew to her bf. I sometimes wonder if it would be better to be more like my niece but I just cannot fake that level of meanness for more than a few minutes.

Its a crazy world


----------



## Pandasaur

I want to slap chub rub in the face >.<...ugh on the search for more jeans now


----------



## Marlayna

spiritangel said:


> You know its such an odd thing its like no I dont want you now I can have you fine beep you oh I want you bad rolls eyes sometimes I just wish people would grow up.
> 
> My eldest niece has a harem of men seriously just friends (though they all fancy her she has made it clear she isnt interested) that will jump through burning fire for her and anytime she says oh I like that they buy it for her, she is a complete bitch to them to I really wonder about it my sister also says she is a complete shrew to her bf. I sometimes wonder if it would be better to be more like my niece but I just cannot fake that level of meanness for more than a few minutes.
> 
> Its a crazy world


I think bitchy girls get more, but it still doesn't make them happy.


----------



## Saoirse

He said "I love you" during the throes of passion last night. I'm sure he didn't mean it like _that_, so I just ignored it. But it still has me thinking!


----------



## bbwlibrarian

Saoirse said:


> He said "I love you" during the throes of passion last night. I'm sure he didn't mean it like _that_, so I just ignored it. But it still has me thinking!



Whatever "way" he meant it, it's still be the best compliment one can get "in the throes."


I bought new bras, and I am both confused and delighted by the size on the tag. It seems like my body fat keeps migrating north... I'm also down a jean size.


----------



## spiritangel

IC My emotions have been all over the place the last couple of days may have something to do with not sleeping well but I am over the rollercoaster effect


----------



## Pandasaur

Old Navy.........I love your jeans!


----------



## Jeeshcristina

spiritangel said:


> IC My emotions have been all over the place the last couple of days may have something to do with not sleeping well but I am over the rollercoaster effect



 Hoping you've mellowed out some. Rollercoaster days are very stressful.


----------



## Pandasaur

Sometimes I think about all of the dumb things I have said in the past. One example was when I was asked to dance by a cute guy at a bar and I freaked out and said 'but I'm chubby'....like he couldn't tell just by looking at me.

Maybe its a way to expect rejection while protecting myself or a sign of insecurity. My goal is to not even bring up my weight when I go out. Just live life without explaining anything unless asked.


----------



## spiritangel

Jeeshcristina said:


> Hoping you've mellowed out some. Rollercoaster days are very stressful.



yes I should have known it was a sign of girl time being on its way. Funny how sometimes we forget the signs.


----------



## Allie Cat

IC that after twenty-some years of self-shaming I've come out to myself (and my therapist) as a feedee. Hoo boy. :x


----------



## sweetfrancaise

spiritangel said:


> yes I should have known it was a sign of girl time being on its way. Funny how sometimes we forget the signs.



I forget _all the time_. You'd think that it being a regular occurrence I'd know better, but NOPE. I'm cranky 'cause everyone else is horrible. 

Today has been a day of biting my tongue. A friend is living outside her means (both figuratively and literally) and the shit hit the fan today when I tried giving some advice. It'll all blow over, but man, does my jaw hurt from clenching it so hard!


----------



## penguin

femilia.com is a great place to keep track of it, and they'll send you out an email a few days before you're due, too.


----------



## Oona

Pandasaur said:


> Sometimes I think about all of the dumb things I have said in the past. One example was when I was asked to dance by a cute guy at a bar and I freaked out and said 'but I'm chubby'....like he couldn't tell just by looking at me.



I'm the queen of stating that obvious fact about myself. It's like I can avoid the rejection if I just say it now and get it over with. 

But my line is usually "You know I'm not some skinny b*tch, right?"


----------



## Surlysomething

I feel so unattractive right now.


----------



## Oona

Surlysomething said:


> I feel so unattractive right now.



Well, for what it's worth, I think you're gorgeous and super sweet! <3


----------



## Surlysomething

Awww...

Thanks, chickie. Maybe things will improve once I main-line another coffee. Haha.




Oona said:


> Well, for what it's worth, I think you're gorgeous and super sweet! <3


----------



## Oona

Surlysomething said:


> Awww...
> 
> Thanks, chickie. Maybe things will improve once I main-line another coffee. Haha.



lol probably!

All I know is I need more coffee and we are out at work... so I have to wait until lunch time (1 more hour!) to go up my caffeine intake...


----------



## Surlysomething

Ok, that's just ridiculous. I would have turned around and walked out when there was none left. Haha.



Oona said:


> lol probably!
> 
> All I know is I need more coffee and we are out at work... so I have to wait until lunch time (1 more hour!) to go up my caffeine intake...


----------



## Oona

Surlysomething said:


> Ok, that's just ridiculous. I would have turned around and walked out when there was none left. Haha.



lol the coffee here is TERRIBLE anyway. I'm a bit of a coffee snob. I'd much rather wait an hour and go home to make yummy coffee than try to suck down the poor excuse for coffee they keep here...


----------



## Surlysomething

Haha.

Get yourself a Bodum and your own supply. Take your (and their) safety into your own hands!




Oona said:


> lol the coffee here is TERRIBLE anyway. I'm a bit of a coffee snob. I'd much rather wait an hour and go home to make yummy coffee than try to suck down the poor excuse for coffee they keep here...


----------



## Tad

Surlysomething said:


> Haha.
> 
> Get yourself a Bodum and your own supply. Take your (and their) safety into your own hands!



I have in fact done this--at one work place which committed sacrilege upon coffee.


----------



## Saoirse

Oh god I'm in lust. Last night I had a sleepover with my hot dude and a bottle of blush... Had a few glasses, a few puffs on the peace pipe. I'm sitting on the couch, zoned out with the tv. He got up from the recliner, touched my face and kissed me hard and deep. Oh it was in from there. the apocalypse couldn't have stopped us. 

I didn't care what I looked like or what I sounded like. There was no holding back, trying to be sexy. I don't have to try. He just thinks I'm sexy! OMG he's sexy too. My orgasm was intense and I probably sounded like a dying raccoon, but he loved it. When I wasn't passionately moaning and groaning, his mouth was on mine. I never used to like kissing, but he just does it perfectly. 

It felt like we were connected for ages, and at the same time it didnt feel like long enough. His orgasm was so hot! We were a sweaty, sticky, heavy breathing mess. It was amazzzzzing!!!!

I confess my future husband will never live up to this guy. :/


----------



## CarlaSixx

I wish I could adjust my fat. I don't feel I need to lose weight, just move it to a more desirable spot


----------



## Allie Cat

CarlaSixx said:


> I wish I could adjust my fat. I don't feel I need to lose weight, just move it to a more desirable spot



Yeah, I know the feel...


----------



## Saoirse

Of course, the good mood and happy times just won't last. He just threatened to slit my throat. 




Saoirse said:


> Oh god I'm in lust. Last night I had a sleepover with my hot dude and a bottle of blush... Had a few glasses, a few puffs on the peace pipe. I'm sitting on the couch, zoned out with the tv. He got up from the recliner, touched my face and kissed me hard and deep. Oh it was in from there. the apocalypse couldn't have stopped us.
> 
> I didn't care what I looked like or what I sounded like. There was no holding back, trying to be sexy. I don't have to try. He just thinks I'm sexy! OMG he's sexy too. My orgasm was intense and I probably sounded like a dying raccoon, but he loved it. When I wasn't passionately moaning and groaning, his mouth was on mine. I never used to like kissing, but he just does it perfectly.
> 
> It felt like we were connected for ages, and at the same time it didnt feel like long enough. His orgasm was so hot! We were a sweaty, sticky, heavy breathing mess. It was amazzzzzing!!!!
> 
> I confess my future husband will never live up to this guy. :/


----------



## Oona

Saoirse said:


> Of course, the good mood and happy times just won't last. He just threatened to slit my throat.




...

that's quite unnerving


----------



## Saoirse

Yea for real! Of course, I should've seen it coming. His favorite names for me have always been "stupid worthless cunt" and "psycho bitch". I don't think I've ever actually heard him say my actual name. 

Why did I spend time with him? I can give a million reasons why... But I think the one reason I SHOULDN'T be around him is very obvious now


----------



## Oona

Saoirse said:


> Yea for real! Of course, I should've seen it coming. His favorite names for me have always been "stupid worthless cunt" and "psycho bitch". I don't think I've ever actually heard him say my actual name.
> 
> Why did I spend time with him? I can give a million reasons why... But I think the one reason I SHOULDN'T be around him is very obvious now



Yea, definitely stop hanging around him. That's not healthy on so many levels, hun.


----------



## Surlysomething

You really, really need to think about these men you hang out with/fuck.

Work on your self esteem, you'll realize you deserve SO MUCH MORE.

So much.






Saoirse said:


> Yea for real! Of course, I should've seen it coming. His favorite names for me have always been "stupid worthless cunt" and "psycho bitch". I don't think I've ever actually heard him say my actual name.
> 
> Why did I spend time with him? I can give a million reasons why... But I think the one reason I SHOULDN'T be around him is very obvious now


----------



## Gingembre

Get some friends who are good to you all the time, Saorise. You deserve it, you're pretty awesome. 


IC I'm having one of those days where my confidence and self esteem seem to have up and left me. Yesterday was one too. Hoping a good night's sleep will sort me out. I don't like being an emotional wreck for no real reason (it's not even that-time-of-the-month!) and my head is all over the place.


----------



## spiritangel

Gingembre said:


> Get some friends who are good to you all the time, Saorise. You deserve it, you're pretty awesome.
> 
> 
> IC I'm having one of those days where my confidence and self esteem seem to have up and left me. Yesterday was one too. Hoping a good night's sleep will sort me out. I don't like being an emotional wreck for no real reason (it's not even that-time-of-the-month!) and my head is all over the place.



Lots of Hugs. Do some pamper yourself things, read your rep, and in general take some you time. My guess is you need some time to yourself and yes sleep does play a part. Oh and soppy movies and chocolate or a soppy book always seem to help me.

Never forget how Beautiful and amazing you are. Hugs


----------



## Diana_Prince245

Saoirse said:


> Yea for real! Of course, I should've seen it coming. His favorite names for me have always been "stupid worthless cunt" and "psycho bitch". I don't think I've ever actually heard him say my actual name.
> 
> Why did I spend time with him? I can give a million reasons why... But I think the one reason I SHOULDN'T be around him is very obvious now



Unless you're in some sort of BDSM relationship, being called either of those is a red flag.

I'll second Gingembre. You're awesome, and you deserve to spend time with people who realize it.


----------



## Sweetie

IC that I am missing the reassuring sound of my ex's voice after the day that unfolded today in Connecticut. All those beautiful babies and the adults who worked at the school...lost. But I know that reaching out to the ex is a waste of effort. There's a reason he's the EX.


----------



## Surlysomething

A little over a year and I still feel numb, stupid and brokenhearted.

I don't think i'm cut out for love.


----------



## Surlysomething

And that's any love at all. From anyone.
Oh wait, maybe that's lack of love.

And trust. There's no trust. You all keep ripping the wound open when it's just about healed. Thanks for that.




Surlysomething said:


> A little over a year and I still feel numb, stupid and brokenhearted.
> 
> I don't think i'm cut out for love.


----------



## bbwlibrarian

IC that I am letting go. The pain's not worth it.

Sometimes it's better to be happy than stoic.


----------



## bbwfairygirl

bbwlibrarian said:


> IC that I am letting go. The pain's not worth it.
> 
> Sometimes it's better to be happy than stoic.



IC I am trying to do the same although still questioning myself. But less each day.


----------



## Ruffie

I confess I am just so not into Christmas this year. I will do my best to hide it tomorrow when I make and take dinner over to her house as this will likely be her last Christmas, but I just have no spirit this year.


----------



## bbwlibrarian

bbwfairygirl said:


> IC I am trying to do the same although still questioning myself. But less each day.



IC that I'm a n00b at this. I normally hang onto pain for dear life until it just completely consumes me. I'm learning that this does absolutely nothing for me.


----------



## bbwfairygirl

bbwfairygirl said:


> IC I am trying to do the same although still questioning myself. But less each day.





bbwlibrarian said:


> IC that I'm a n00b at this. I normally hang onto pain for dear life until it just completely consumes me. I'm learning that this does absolutely nothing for me.



ditto, I used to relish it, feed it, nurture it and wonder why it wasn't so nice to me in return...and wondering why I couldn't just kick it's sorry A$$ out the back door. Now I realize that each day is just today and a better day than yesterday. I found this quote a while ago:

_Every morning is like a new reincarnation into this world. Let us take it then for what it is and live each moment anew. ~~ Paul Brunton_


----------



## Sweetie

bbwfairygirl said:


> ditto, I used to relish it, feed it, nurture it and wonder why it wasn't so nice to me in return...and wondering why I couldn't just kick it's sorry A$$ out the back door. Now I realize that each day is just today and a better day than yesterday. I found this quote a while ago:
> 
> _Every morning is like a new reincarnation into this world. Let us take it then for what it is and live each moment anew. ~~ Paul Brunton_



I tried to rep you but it wouldn't let me. Good quote.


----------



## bbwfairygirl

Sweetie said:


> I tried to rep you but it wouldn't let me. Good quote.



Aw, thanks. Yes, it's a favorite. I like it because its just straight forward, no frills attached.


----------



## bbwlibrarian

bbwfairygirl said:


> ditto, I used to relish it, feed it, nurture it and wonder why it wasn't so nice to me in return...and wondering why I couldn't just kick it's sorry A$$ out the back door. Now I realize that each day is just today and a better day than yesterday. I found this quote a while ago:
> 
> _Every morning is like a new reincarnation into this world. Let us take it then for what it is and live each moment anew. ~~ Paul Brunton_



Also relevant (from the book I was reading before bed last night):
"Any idiot can feel pain. Life is full of excuses to feel pain, excuses not to live, excuses, excuses, excuses. [In old age], the only pain you'll feel is for all of the useless pain you felt, all the times you let yourself not do something because of fear and cowardice, all the times you let the bastards and the kibitzers and the life-shrinkers hold you back." - Erica Jong, _How to Save Your Own Life_

Speaking of pain, IC that I did something stupid this morning. While out on a long walk, I got a little too caught up in my music, and slipped on an icy bit of pavement, falling in the creek that runs alongside the road. :doh:

That was a fun mile back home...


----------



## bbwfairygirl

bbwlibrarian said:


> Also relevant (from the book I was reading before bed last night):
> "Any idiot can feel pain. Life is full of excuses to feel pain, excuses not to live, excuses, excuses, excuses. [In old age], the only pain you'll feel is for all of the useless pain you felt, all the times you let yourself not do something because of fear and cowardice, all the times you let the bastards and the kibitzers and the life-shrinkers hold you back." - Erica Jong, _How to Save Your Own Life_
> 
> Speaking of pain, IC that I did something stupid this morning. While out on a long walk, I got a little too caught up in my music, and slipped on an icy bit of pavement, falling in the creek that runs alongside the road. :doh:
> 
> That was a fun mile back home...



I hope you're ok. Ice sucks. I did a dorky ice flailing dance move myself in the parking lot this past weekend. I'm hoping no one noticed and it won't show up on youtube.

Great quote. Erica Jong...I haven't read any of her stuff in years although I did find my copy of Fanny and it's in the current "I want to reread/read" bedside pile...


----------



## Oona

IC that even though I'm excited that I have a date, I'm also terrified.


----------



## supersizebbw

bbwlibrarian said:


> Also relevant (from the book I was reading before bed last night):
> "Any idiot can feel pain. Life is full of excuses to feel pain, excuses not to live, excuses, excuses, excuses. * [In old age], the only pain you'll feel is for all of the useless pain you felt, all the times you let yourself not do something because of fear and cowardice, *all the times you let the bastards and the kibitzers and the life-shrinkers hold you back." - Erica Jong, _How to Save Your Own Life_



Thankyou so much for this BBWlibrarian!

IC afew days ago i finally got the guts to tell a guy friend of mine that i've known for years that i was into him....unfortunately he didn't feel the same, and i was really regretting having told him in the first place. Reading this i'm glad i did now, i feel like i can move on. The only thing i'm abit sad about is that it's awkward between us as friends now


----------



## Bronzedcutie

I confess that I LOVE reality tv shows, havent come across anyone that I dont like. My faves are: Hardcore pawn,ink master, mob wives, catfish, and yes...the housewives chain. Im aware that im not learning anything and that is fine with me-just mindless entertainment.


----------



## spiritangel

IC Universe you are confusing me, I wish I understood the whys of these people turning back up or even why they give me butterflies,


----------



## Marlayna

Bronzedcutie said:


> I confess that I LOVE reality tv shows, havent come across anyone that I dont like. My faves are: Hardcore pawn,ink master, mob wives, catfish, and yes...the housewives chain. Im aware that im not learning anything and that is fine with me-just mindless entertainment.


I ditto your confession. LOL. I love the mindless diversion, and I'm usually doing a number of things at once while I'm watching it.
I draw the line at anything "Kardashian" however.


----------



## HottiMegan

Yipes! I'm 5 days late in an otherwise rather predictable cycle. I know that, unless stuff happened in my sleep, i can't be pregnant. Makes me nervous that something is wrong with me. I hate this waiting game.
I'm very in tune with my body usually. i knew i was pregnant before i was due for my periods when i WAS pregnant. I don't feel pregnant. I do feel crampy though. I didn't have my usual hate the world pms this cycle either.. I just want it to start already.. get it over with!


----------



## Oona

IC that I really didn't do much work before lunch... I spent most of my time goofing around online. And now I have WORK to do -_-


----------



## HottiMegan

Oona said:


> IC that I really didn't do much work before lunch... I spent most of my time goofing around online. And now I have WORK to do -_-



Your confession makes me think of Office Space


----------



## Oona

HottiMegan said:


> Your confession makes me think of Office Space




lol yeaaa... 

>.>
<.<


----------



## penguin

HottiMegan said:


> Yipes! I'm 5 days late in an otherwise rather predictable cycle. I know that, unless stuff happened in my sleep, i can't be pregnant. Makes me nervous that something is wrong with me. I hate this waiting game.
> I'm very in tune with my body usually. i knew i was pregnant before i was due for my periods when i WAS pregnant. I don't feel pregnant. I do feel crampy though. I didn't have my usual hate the world pms this cycle either.. I just want it to start already.. get it over with!



Stress and illness can throw it off like that. I know when I'm going through high stress, mine can be up to five days late.


----------



## HottiMegan

Hmm.. stress could be a factor and i'm recovering from bronchitis..
I just read that ibs, in rare cases, can cause a skip or delay too. my ibs is acting up.. ugh this is torture!


----------



## HottiMegan

I've never been so happy to have my flow! I still am happy to bring on menopause but it's too early and I didn't want anything wrong with me. The women in my family are usually in their mid 50's by the time menopause kicks in so I still have at least 20 years if i am like the women in my family.
I was feeling really bloated and uncomfortable the last few days so i hope relief is soon!


----------



## Pandasaur

Social awkwardness sucks plungers


----------



## BriannaBombshell

HottiMegan said:


> Hmm.. stress could be a factor and i'm recovering from bronchitis..
> I just read that ibs, in rare cases, can cause a skip or delay too. my ibs is acting up.. ugh this is torture!



Another factor can be female interaction. My cycle has completely changed since I have started hanging around a particular woman. We will start on the same day now which is kind of annoying but it would be that too


----------



## BriannaBombshell

I have been very selfish lately.


----------



## loopytheone

That the idea of losing you scares me to death. I want to take all your pains and make them disappear.


----------



## Pandasaur

My friend told me that I was the chubby, black and younger version of Dorthy Spornak of the Golden Girls....I can't even


----------



## CarlaSixx

Pandasaur said:


> My friend told me that I was the chubby, black and younger version of Dorthy Spornak of the Golden Girls....I can't even



At least you were given a definite. Lol. Some of my friends consider me a Sophia, while others consider me a Rose. But my one friend always says I'm Blanche. Simply because I'm always dating, talking to new men, and not shy about talking about sex. Lol. But I'm way more like Sophia. Though I'm the youngest in my group of friends.


----------



## Pandasaur

CarlaSixx said:


> At least you were given a definite. Lol. Some of my friends consider me a Sophia, while others consider me a Rose. But my one friend always says I'm Blanche. Simply because I'm always dating, talking to new men, and not shy about talking about sex. Lol. But I'm way more like Sophia. Though I'm the youngest in my group of friends.



I wouldn't mind being Sophia, shes freaking awesome


----------



## Saoirse

I was supposed to be Blanche for Halloween. Bestie said I'm her "all the way" haha.


IC last night was amazing and it was nice to be with someone who doesn't get off by making me feel terrible. And he was so cute and cuddly! I woke up in the morning with his head nestled in my cleavage, snoring and smiling.


----------



## Victoria08

IC I'm not feeling very confident today. I hate it when I get like this.


----------



## Pandasaur

IC that I sometimes my height makes me feel self conscious even though I'm not extremely tall, I'm 5'8 and I am pretty much the tallest in my circle of friends and immediate family


----------



## Sweetie

IC I don't know how to talk to guys. I'm so friggin shy and I HATE IT. I don't want to waste any more years of my life alone so I have forced myself to put a profile of myself on a dating site, but now when I get a response I totally FREEZE and have no idea how to respond.  I really just want to meet a nice guy to spend my time with. I need SNUGGLES!!!!


----------



## Oona

IC that when it comes to men, if its going great, I'm worried that something is going to happen and change that. I need to get out of my past and remember that not all men are like that.


----------



## dharmabean

Nope..not all men are like that.  Breathe. 


Oona said:


> IC that when it comes to men, if its going great, I'm worried that something is going to happen and change that. I need to get out of my past and remember that not all men are like that.


----------



## Oona

dharmabean said:


> Nope..not all men are like that.  Breathe.



Thank You lovely! You keep me sane when the typical girl in my head tries to take over <3


----------



## aocutiepi

IC... last year I was toying with the idea, but this year... I've entered the Miss Plus America pageant for my state! PM me and I'll send you a Facebook link to support me... I'll also post links to vote for Covergirl competition and stuff when the time comes. I'm super pumped. :bounce: :happy:


----------



## Oona

IC that I am purposely trying to find interesting things online so I don't have to work. I need to keep my brain occupied so I don't freak out about the prospect of a big move. And work just doesn't cut it.


----------



## Rojodi

Oona said:


> IC that I am purposely trying to find interesting things online so I don't have to work. I need to keep my brain occupied so I don't freak out about the prospect of a big move. And work just doesn't cut it.



There are places on the internet to read short stories, in several thousands of genres and subgenres. There are Alternate History sites as well.


----------



## Oona

Rojodi said:


> There are places on the internet to read short stories, in several thousands of genres and subgenres. There are Alternate History sites as well.



Thanks 

imgur caught my attention though...

Ooooh... shiny....


----------



## Gingembre

aocutiepi said:


> IC... last year I was toying with the idea, but this year... I've entered the Miss Plus America pageant for my state! PM me and I'll send you a Facebook link to support me... I'll also post links to vote for Covergirl competition and stuff when the time comes. I'm super pumped. :bounce: :happy:



That's so exciting! Good luck!!


----------



## Sweetie

aocutiepi said:


> IC... last year I was toying with the idea, but this year... I've entered the Miss Plus America pageant for my state! PM me and I'll send you a Facebook link to support me... I'll also post links to vote for Covergirl competition and stuff when the time comes. I'm super pumped. :bounce: :happy:



Send it to me ... whatever I can do to help you got it. 

ETA I'm a little silly sometimes...I'll pm you.  lol


----------



## Oona

IC I just got a ridiculous urge to get my septum pierced and I have no idea why


----------



## Saoirse

IC I've been hanging out with him since Christmas with only my dad knowing. All my close friends and brother would flip a shit if they knew I was still allowing that creep to be near me. I can't help it. The majority of the time we're together, we have a lot of fun and we laugh nonstop. He's so incredibly smart and he loves researching and discovering and I can ask him questions about any topic and he'll have answers. I am in awe of his intelligence and his passion for always learning more. 

Yesterday we went on a 4 mile hike thru snow to find an old graveyard (never found the one we were looking for but we found others) and some foundation remains of a small community that he found information on. We had such a great time! But then we started fighting and once again I'm the bitch, the asshole and the spoiled brat. All this because I caught him in a lie. Why does he lie so much????!! And it's not just me! We have a mutual friend who he hangs out with a lot, so I get filled in on the stuff he does when I'm not around. He's a liar and a manipulator AND I CAN'T STOP SEEING HIM. 

He says I start stupid fights. I say I can't trust him. He says I'm being a spoiled princess and I should learn my place. 

I don't think I've ever felt like I could completely trust him but I want to. Thats why I still see him. I want to be trust him and love him and have him do the same with me. We have such incredible adventures together and when it's good its REALLY good. But then it gets bad and he makes me feel worthless. 

Last week we had sex and it was beautiful. Sex is always great with him, but this time was sweet and sensual. He wanted to be held and kissed and he told me he loved me over and over again. I thought maybe we were getting somewhere. But he hasn't been that way since and sex is back to what it used to be. I can only wonder if he acted that way because I had seeing someone else. I'm free to date since we're not a couple but perhaps he felt threatened and needed a way to drag me back. I'm so mad at myself for believing him. I have a rule- never believe anything said during sex. I believed him and let my guard down and it really hurt when I came back to reality. 

I know I need to stop putting up with his bullshit but I don't know how. I've deleted him from my phone, but I have his # memorized. I told him that I was changing my # (which I really can't since I have a small business and it would be a big hassle to let friends, family AND cusstomers know) so he would stop texting me, but that didnt work. And like I said, we have one really good mutual friend, someone we both hang out with a lot independently. And his office is one block away from our friend's apt. 

I feel like such a jerk. My close friends are always telling me that I need to stop hanging out with assholes, but no one can ever give me any damn advice on HOW.


----------



## Gingembre

Saoirse said:


> I should learn my place.



IMO, this says it all. Your _place_?! What an asshole.




> I know I need to stop putting up with his bullshit but I don't know how.



It has been my limited experience that the only way to do this is to cut him out completely and don't let him back in. Short-ish term pain, for long term gain. Distractions help but ultimately it comes down to willpower, which is why it's so difficult. What makes it easier is knowing & really believing that it's the best thing for YOU...knowing that you're better than him and worth so much more than his crap. It means that when you're fighting with yourself over whether to call him or not, you have more of a chance of not calling. Sounds like it's time for you to look out for #1...good luck. *hug*


----------



## Oona

IC that all I've ever done is "settle" when it comes to guy. And I need to stop that. It's not fair to me! 

I really just want to be happy and find someone that loves me for ME and doesn't try to change me in any way. He needs to accept that yes, I have a past, but my baggage is limited to a carry-on size! 

Sometimes I think that's just wishful thinking though...


----------



## Donna

It's trite, but true: YOU teach people how to treat you by allowing them to treat you in a certain manner. And by treating yourself that way as well. If I have learned anything in nearly forty-seven years on this earth, it's that you cannot be loved by someone else until you love yourself and happiness is never going to come from someone else. Happiness comes from within. When you make yourself healthy and happy, a healthy and happy relationship can grow. Or it might not. But you won't care if it doesn't because you will be happy with who you are. 

My post isn't directed at anyone in particular....I just felt the need to get that off my chest since this a confessional thread.


----------



## Sweet Tooth

Saoirse said:


> I feel like such a jerk. My close friends are always telling me that I need to stop hanging out with assholes, but no one can ever give me any damn advice on HOW.



I don't think it's possible until you get more angry and fed up and sad than you have love for them. Sometimes people love you with all they're able [which may be very little] or in the only ways they know how, but it's not what's healthy or what we need or what we want. And some people you have to walk away from until they get their crap together... and that may never happen.

If he was exactly as he is now forever, no changes whatsoever, would you be happy with that or would you be constantly hoping he was different? If it's the latter, it's a pretty good sign to walk... not because you don't love them, but because you love you.

[And my guess is that those friends who've been hoping you'd do this would be happy to be the emergency backup so you call them when you're feeling your resolve is weak and want to call him.]


----------



## Skye23

Well, short of making you sign a pledge in blood (my friends once settled for blood red ink) that you will NEVER, EVER date a guy again there's not really a whole lot anybody can do to stop you from doing things even if you know better. And the pledges only work if you keep your promise.

You could try a short course in negative reinforcement. A simple method is to wear a rubber band around your wrist and whenever you get the urge to call him, hang out with him, etc etc you snap the rubber band as hard as you possibly can and tell yourself "This is only a very small symbol of how much pain I'm going to suffer if I keep allowing myself to be hurt by him." You often hear people say they wish a friend would just smack them when they start to do whatever - using this method you smack yourself although in a way that can't cause any real damage. Only works if you want it to though...

It also helps to repeat to yourself "I don't have to be near somebody, or interact with them in any way to love them. I don't have to stop loving him, I just have to do it from a safe distance which for me right now means I can't be anywhere near him." You can after all love someone to bits, but you don't have to let them break your heart to do it. Not to mention if he ever becomes violent in the future, in which case much more then your heart would be in danger.


----------



## spiritangel

IC I think sometimes that I am to easy to forget..... or look past


----------



## CastingPearls

I think...no...I know you are mistaken. *hugs*


----------



## AuntHen

IC that I feel better about my self/looks now, than I have in my entire life. 

In highschool I was athletically slender and PCOS (and it's ugly symptoms) had *not *hit my body (until college), yet I totally loathed myself then 

Yay for growing and learning to love myself (inward and outward). :happy:


----------



## lozonloz

IC that I thought I saw my stepmother in the supermarket and was torn between the urges to hide, cry, and try and kill her with a jar of curry sauce.

I was stood there frozen for a good 30 seconds before she turned around and I realised it was someone else.

I haven't seen or spoken to her in two years, and I still ended up crying in the middle of the ruddy world foods isle-_-

I wish it didn't hurt so much to think about her, it seems like letting her win to show any emotion at all.


----------



## Lamia

I've never been able to have vaginal intercourse because when I tried their penis wouldn't go in and it was very painful trying to get it inserted so I closed up shop.

Last year I went to the ER and a female doctor did an exam where I think she popped my cherry so to speak. I bled afterwards and it hurt like hell. 

Now a few times when I've went exploring down there I don't seem to be in as much pain down and I am wondering if I should get a toy, but I have no idea what to try. 

Any suggestions?


----------



## Oona

Lamia said:


> I've never been able to have vaginal intercourse because when I tried their penis wouldn't go in and it was very painful trying to get it inserted so I closed up shop.
> 
> Last year I went to the ER and a female doctor did an exam where I think she popped my cherry so to speak. I bled afterwards and it hurt like hell.
> 
> Now a few times when I've went exploring down there I don't seem to be in as much pain down and I am wondering if I should get a toy, but I have no idea what to try.
> 
> Any suggestions?



Start with something small and flexible. Don't use a solid toy or vibrator. Also, use a water based lubricant.


----------



## Marlayna

Lamia said:


> I've never been able to have vaginal intercourse because when I tried their penis wouldn't go in and it was very painful trying to get it inserted so I closed up shop.
> 
> Last year I went to the ER and a female doctor did an exam where I think she popped my cherry so to speak. I bled afterwards and it hurt like hell.
> 
> Now a few times when I've went exploring down there I don't seem to be in as much pain down and I am wondering if I should get a toy, but I have no idea what to try.
> 
> Any suggestions?


Being scared or nervous make you tighten up down there. Drink or smoke something to relax you... and breathe. You'll be fine.


----------



## CarlaSixx

Marlayna said:


> Being scared or nervous make you tighten up down there. Drink or smoke something to relax you... and breathe. You'll be fine.



Actually... that's not very good advice.

Some girls are just made like that. I have a friend with the same problem and it is because she actually is made internally much smaller than normal. It happens. No amount of stimulants can help that.


Lamia, definitely agree with Oona. Something small and flexible to start, and lots of lubrication. Waterbased is safest.


----------



## Saoirse

Actually I think one drink would be just fine, if she drinks anyway. Might help relax and loosen up. Surely, memories of past painful experiences wod make anyone tense up naturally. But def start with a small toy and lube! Just play around as much as your comfortable with. I think eventually you'll be comfortable enough for sex. 


But I am certainly no doctor


----------



## dharmabean

Oona best advice yet! I was going to suggest the same things.



Oona said:


> Start with something small and flexible. Don't use a solid toy or vibrator. Also, use a water based lubricant.


----------



## CastingPearls

Lamia said:


> I've never been able to have vaginal intercourse because when I tried their penis wouldn't go in and it was very painful trying to get it inserted so I closed up shop.
> 
> Last year I went to the ER and a female doctor did an exam where I think she popped my cherry so to speak. I bled afterwards and it hurt like hell.
> 
> Now a few times when I've went exploring down there I don't seem to be in as much pain down and I am wondering if I should get a toy, but I have no idea what to try.
> 
> Any suggestions?


If you haven't seen your gynecologist about it, you might want to. You might also want to look up vaginismus. It's more common than people think and there is treatment. Someone I'm very close to had it for years and was really ashamed because she thought there was something 'wrong' with her, like freakish and there wasn't. It took some time and a lot of patience but now she's able to enjoy intercourse.


----------



## Lamia

CastingPearls said:


> If you haven't seen your gynecologist about it, you might want to. You might also want to look up vaginismus. It's more common than people think and there is treatment. Someone I'm very close to had it for years and was really ashamed because she thought there was something 'wrong' with her, like freakish and there wasn't. It took some time and a lot of patience but now she's able to enjoy intercourse.



I've had two very painful vaginal ultrasounds. The gynecologist offered no help, other than lose weight and sex won't be a problem. (going to look up vaginismus.)The problem is I am hyper sensitive everywhere. It hurts if people touch my upper arms etc. I am very tender headed and brushing my hair is like dragging a hairbrush over a sunburn with hair sticking out of it. 

As to getting drunk or high etc that isn't going to help. I am not nervous or shy or tensing up lightly touching that area is painful and always has been. It's hard to explain to people who don't deal with that kind of pain.

I am going to try a toy and see if maybe I can desensitize myself.


----------



## CastingPearls

Lamia said:


> I've had two very painful vaginal ultrasounds. The gynecologist offered no help, other than lose weight and sex won't be a problem. (going to look up vaginismus.)The problem is I am hyper sensitive everywhere. It hurts if people touch my upper arms etc. I am very tender headed and brushing my hair is like dragging a hairbrush over a sunburn with hair sticking out of it.
> 
> As to getting drunk or high etc that isn't going to help. I am not nervous or shy or tensing up lightly touching that area is painful and always has been. It's hard to explain to people who don't deal with that kind of pain.
> 
> I am going to try a toy and see if maybe I can desensitize myself.


Okay, anything else, we can discuss via PM but my friend saw 14 doctors before she found one competent enough to figure out what it was so I wouldn't take what one doctor says as gospel until I had answers. I can only imagine the pain you're in, with being so tender. That sounds like something else I'm thinking of but I'm not a doctor. It may or may not be related. Booze and drugs won't help if it's vaginismus...it's a real condition. 
Best of luck to you.


----------



## KittyKitten

I'm so sick of many men and their avoidance personalities. I wish many mothers would raise their sons to be in touch with their emotions. I'm not a mind reader. Communicate with me, share your problems, don't avoid. Because then you have my mind wandering, am I good enough for you, what have I done wrong? 

I hate when men run away from their problems and don't speak. I hate this hot and cold crap. Hate it. Telling me how sweet I am, looking into my eyes, smiling with me, having wonderful times together, then the next minute not answering texts, or when answering texts, responding hours later. You never used to do that. So you are feeling depressed about family issues, we all have issues, don't hide from it. I'm sorry I had to go on a rant because I'm so pissed off right now, I've fucking had it with men and this type of behavior. There is nothing wrong with sharing your emotions with the woman you adore.


----------



## Pandasaur

IC that sometimes I wished I had bigger boobs..at least enough to make cleavage without much effort. I am thankful for what I have though....I can shimmy =)


----------



## Diana_Prince245

Lamia said:


> I've had two very painful vaginal ultrasounds. The gynecologist offered no help, other than lose weight and sex won't be a problem. (going to look up vaginismus.)The problem is I am hyper sensitive everywhere. It hurts if people touch my upper arms etc. I am very tender headed and brushing my hair is like dragging a hairbrush over a sunburn with hair sticking out of it.
> 
> As to getting drunk or high etc that isn't going to help. I am not nervous or shy or tensing up lightly touching that area is painful and always has been. It's hard to explain to people who don't deal with that kind of pain.
> 
> I am going to try a toy and see if maybe I can desensitize myself.



The hypersensitivity sounds like some sort of nervous system disorder. That sort of thing is not very well understood in the medical profession, so you might want to try to see a specialist in nervous system disorders.


----------



## Aust99

Lamia said:


> The problem is I am hyper sensitive everywhere. It hurts if people touch my upper arms etc. I am very tender headed and brushing my hair is like dragging a hairbrush over a sunburn with hair sticking out of it.





Diana_Prince245 said:


> The hypersensitivity sounds like some sort of nervous system disorder. That sort of thing is not very well understood in the medical profession, so you might want to try to see a specialist in nervous system disorders.


Someone close to me has something called fibromyalgia... Hypersensitivity is one of the symptoms.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

Aust99 said:


> Someone close to me has something called fibromyalgia... Hypersensitivity is one of the symptoms.



That's what I was thinking of, but there are others with similar symptoms.


----------



## lovelocs

KittyKitten said:


> I'm so sick of many men and their avoidance personalities. I wish many mothers would raise their sons to be in touch with their emotions. I'm not a mind reader. Communicate with me, share your problems, don't avoid. Because then you have my mind wandering, am I good enough for you, what have I done wrong?
> 
> I hate when men run away from their problems and don't speak. I hate this hot and cold crap. Hate it. Telling me how sweet I am, looking into my eyes, smiling with me, having wonderful times together, then the next minute not answering texts, or when answering texts, responding hours later. You never used to do that. So you are feeling depressed about family issues, we all have issues, don't hide from it. I'm sorry I had to go on a rant because I'm so pissed off right now, I've fucking had it with men and this type of behavior. There is nothing wrong with sharing your emotions with the woman you adore.




This, except I would ask that men slow their pursuit. I've had men run red hot (almost to the point of pushiness, or neediness) and then drop off the face of the earth. When men do that, I feel like I'm being "stripmined" for positive emotion. When it's good, it's good. But when anything happens that they can't handle or process, they pull back, sometimes sharply. It's a waste of my time, energy, and love, love that I could be giving to someone else, or simply be saving for myself.


----------



## Surlysomething

I think i've _*finally*_ fallen out of love with him.

I'm not sure I agree with the whole _it's better to have loved and lost_ line of thinking. I could have really done without the last couple of years in a huge way.


----------



## Oona

Surlysomething said:


> I think i've _*finally*_ fallen out of love with him.
> 
> I'm not sure I agree with the whole _it's better to have loved and lost_ line of thinking. I could have really done without the last couple of years in a huge way.



Oh trust me, I went through that too... 

And whenever someone tells me _ It's better have loved and lost..._ I roll my eyes. 5 years of BS was not worth it to me!


----------



## penguin

There are lessons to be learnt from it all, though, and you hopefully come out of it knowing yourself, your needs and your standards a lot better.


----------



## one2one

fat9276 said:


> IC that I feel better about my self/looks now, than I have in my entire life.
> 
> In highschool I was athletically slender and PCOS (and it's ugly symptoms) had *not *hit my body (until college), yet I totally loathed myself then
> 
> Yay for growing and learning to love myself (inward and outward). :happy:



I couldn't rep you but really wanted to ... :happy:


----------



## Surlysomething

I hope one day I won't feel so negative towards it all. But right now, nope!
Haha.




Oona said:


> Oh trust me, I went through that too...
> 
> And whenever someone tells me _ It's better have loved and lost..._ I roll my eyes. 5 years of BS was not worth it to me!


----------



## Oona

Surlysomething said:


> I hope one day I won't feel so negative towards it all. But right now, nope!
> Haha.



Yea... it always takes time. Just remember to breathe


----------



## CastingPearls

IC I met someone in real life who's been through the wringer pretty much like I have, and has come out through the dark tunnel also pretty much like I have. It looks like we're going to he spending more time together due to our mutual interest. I really hope to see him again, 3ven as a friend cos he's awesome. The hug he gave me when we said goodbye, I can still feel.


----------



## penguin

PMS is raising it's ugly, emotional head this morning. Made worse by the dream I had about being away on holiday with someone who I thought loved me, but he ignored me the whole time to do anything but touch me or show me affection. The stress and emotional turmoil I've been dealing with lately is really hard to deal with today, and it's not even 8am. I probably shouldn't talk to anyone or go anywhere until the PMS is gone, but that whole life going on thing says I have to. I want to stay in bed and cry but I've promised my daughter we'll go to the park so she can ride her scooter. I'm hoping I'll feel better after a shower.


----------



## Saoirse

Well speaking of assholes and the shit they put decent women thru, I just randomly met a chick thru a mutual friend who also happens to be friends with the guy that fucked me up! I told her I knew who she was because he mentioned her but we'd never met (I never met any of his friends other than the ones we had in common). She said he'd told her a little about me but didnt know why we werent seeing eachother anymore. I didn't get into detail but i did tell her that he treated me poorly and wouldn't you know it? She wasn't surprised at all! Apparently he's done this to a few girls and she's called him out on it. She said they are good friends but she would never date him because she knows what he's like. It felt so good to be told that I'm not crazy from someone who knows him really well!


----------



## Oona

IC that instead of doing my work today, I'm sitting at my desk taking goofy pictures. 

Mostly because my roommate said that now that I have a proper horseshoe in my septum I'm going to be making that "stupid duck-face" now. 

So I sent him this....







I admit, I'm a total dork. And I love it.


----------



## Pandasaur

I am starting to learn that I don't like online snark, its just hard to decide if the person is being mean or actually just joking


----------



## runningsoft

I have noticed that too. And that's not snark. 



Pandasaur said:


> I am starting to learn that I don't like online snark, its just hard to decide if the person is being mean or actually just joking


----------



## Pandasaur

runningsoft said:


> I have noticed that too. And that's not snark.



Luckily this community is very friendly. Its not like the livejournal forums I have been on recently T_T


----------



## penguin

IC that I'm wanting another baby, and realising that I'll be fertile around Valentine's Day makes me feel a bit sad, for being alone and for not being in any position to have more babies. Daydreaming about having hot V Day sex and getting pregnant from it is probably something I should forget about.


----------



## CaAggieGirl

IC I am not looking forward to working on Valentines Day. There will be many flower deliveries for all of the ladies in the office and everyone will gush about how amazing their significant other is. Blah! I just want to get my work done and go home.


----------



## Saoirse

IC I'll never be able to trust a man! I went thru all that bullshit with that dickhead last year (and its fucking crazy but I do miss him  ). I randomly got in touch with an old flame thru okcupid. Found out he's newly single from the girl he (kinda sorta) dumped me for like 2 yrs ago. Me and him never had any beef, we just tried to be together a few times, but it was never the right time. We did hurt each other a little bit, but when we started talking just revently we both took the opportunity to talk it out and apologize. 

Well his ex has been working with my best friend for past few months and she's given up some dirt! Dirt I don't like. Things he's never revealed to me, things that fucking should be revealed to me.


----------



## Sweetie

Oona said:


> IC that instead of doing my work today, I'm sitting at my desk taking goofy pictures.
> 
> Mostly because my roommate said that now that I have a proper horseshoe in my septum I'm going to be making that "stupid duck-face" now.
> 
> So I sent him this....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I admit, I'm a total dork. And I love it.



If you're a dork, then I LOVE DORKS. You always manage to make me smile. Thank you for being you. :happy:


----------



## Oona

Sweetie said:


> If you're a dork, then I LOVE DORKS. You always manage to make me smile. Thank you for being you. :happy:



Well I'm glad I make you smile! I love being my dorky self, and I love it more that it makes others happy!

^_^


----------



## AuntHen

I usually ignore it but fat hatred/fear is really wearing me down lately. People are just ugly acting about it. How has it *helped *to hate us fatties for all these years? And these people think they know how each and every one of us thinks and lives (like we are all the same). They rant and rant and rant and the world is fatter... I think it is a sign of true oppression sometimes. Sigh.

Fat people be taking over the world haha


----------



## Victoria08

IC I just ceated a profile on an online dating site. I haven't paid for the subscription yet...but after seeing the profiles for the guys I've been matched with, I'm definitely considering it. 

Freaking out a little. In a good way, though.


----------



## spiritangel

fat9276 said:


> I usually ignore it but fat hatred/fear is really wearing me down lately. People are just ugly acting about it. How has it *helped *to hate us fatties for all these years? And these people think they know how each and every one of us thinks and lives (like we are all the same). They rant and rant and rant and the world is fatter... I think it is a sign of true oppression sometimes. Sigh.
> 
> Fat people be taking over the world haha



I hear this I have to put up with it from a blog stalker and I had a huge argument with my Dr yesterday that left me almost in tears. He has some very set ideas about my life which is quite funny considering he has never asked me anything other than medical questions......... needless to say I am wishing I had more Dr options who bulk billed down here thats for sure I am gonna talk to someone I know and see if she has an idea who would be good for me to switch to (she knows a lot of the medical people in my area) I was gobsmacked at some of his attitudes like people with oesteo arthritus still work down mines my response yes because their Dr's probably prescribe them kick arse pain killers where as mine leaves me to deal with the pain as best as i can. 

Lots of hugs and remember you are amazing and beautiful and most people are brainwashed into the yoyo diet culture that seems to be getting pushed harder and harder than ever (maybe its the whole diet industry pushing it so that its more at the forefront of peoples minds that way no one pays attention to a lot of the new research data that is being puplished and written about?)


----------



## spiritangel

IC That while I am totally overjoyed for my sister and her partner on their engagement It does make me a bit sad as well this is the second time round for her and I am miss single never been married no kids I knew the engagement was comming but perhaps its that it came on Valentines Day after lots of insomnia and arguing with my arsehole of a Dr yesterday but it just makes me a little blue that I feel like I may never have that stuff with anyone. I will get over it and am not looking for sympathy just confessing how I feel right this minute.


----------



## Lovelyone

CaAggieGirl said:


> IC I am not looking forward to working on Valentines Day. There will be many flower deliveries for all of the ladies in the office and everyone will gush about how amazing their significant other is. Blah! I just want to get my work done and go home.



A while back I worked in an office with ten other women. I was the ONLY one who was single and without a partner. I dreaded that Valentine's Day was coming and that all the ladies would be gushing over their flowers and gifts all-the-while knowing that *I* wouldn't be receiving one. For 6 years it was the same thing...everyone coo-ing over their gifts and me sitting in the corner wishing I could go home and cover my head with a blanket.

I went to visit my mom and dad and told them that even though I was happy for the other ladies, I felt sad that our office would be piled high with flowers and gifts none of them would be for me--and that Valentine's day is the loneliest day in the world for single people. My mom told me to send some to myself. I thought that was cheating so I decided against it and remained disheartened by the fact that I would spend yet another Valentine's Day without a Valentine. 

When the dreaded day came I headed into work prepared to gush over and vicariously admire everyone else's gifts. When I walked into the office there was a big bouquet or Gerber daisies and a box of candy in my "spot" and one of the other ladies said, "You got something from someone". I was a little embarrassed cos I hadn't a clue as to whom could be sending these to me. When I opened the card it said, "I couldn't let this day go by without telling you how much I love you. Will you be my Valentine? Love you, Don Frances". Everyone asked me who Don Frances was and they wondered how I could keep it a secret that I had someone who was interested in me. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom cos I started to cry. Don is my Dad's name and Frances is my mother's name. It seems they didn't want me to have to go through all that vicarious Valentine's Day stuff again. To this day those ladies still do not know that Don Frances was my parents.


----------



## Surlysomething

I was still crazy in love with him at the same time the year before.
The year before that I think he was still in love with me and I got the most gorgeous flowers, chocolates and card.

Things can sure change after two years.

But. I feel good today. And hopeful. And stronger. I did the work.


I think i'll stick to being crazy in LUST. It's easier.


----------



## HottiMegan

I'm in a relationship and don't like Valentines day. It's another day to be proven that my husband, who thinks he's a romantic, won't even bother to get me a card. We've been together for 17 years now and i can count on one hand how many romantic gifts he's given me.
He's a good man and husband, just not nearly as romantic as i'd like. I usually do all the romancing..


----------



## snuggletiger

sent the crush a gift. We'll see how it turns out.


----------



## Saoirse

snuggletiger said:


> sent the crush a gift. We'll see how it turns out.



You do know this is a bbw thread, right?


----------



## spiritangel

IC I have decided to bite the bullet and actually reply to some of the messages I have recieved from guys who are interested. At the very least I may make a new friend or two, and maybe even get my flirt on. I miss getting my flirt on (not that I am very good at it)


----------



## CaAggieGirl

IC that I will miss my first FA. I loved how he enjoyed all of me, from burying his face in my belly and kissing it to rubbing my fat upper arms. It was nice to have my body worshipped. However, I deserve the world. I don't ask for it and I dont want it, though I am really amazing. All I ask is to be the one and only not one of many.


----------



## RubieG

I don't know how risque we can get here and what kind of confessions you are looking for but I love kissing someone for the first time.... There is nothing like the excitement of anticipation of warm breath on your lips just before their lips meet yours...


----------



## Sweetie

RubieG said:


> I don't know how risque we can get here and what kind of confessions you are looking for but I love kissing someone for the first time.... There is nothing like the excitement of anticipation of warm breath on your lips just before their lips meet yours...



Oh me tooooooo... :happy:


----------



## spiritangel

IC I should have listened to my first instict and kept ignoring said messages (rolls eyes at self)

IAC I jointed a dating site about a week ago and my profile still has not been approved I am taking this as a sign that I should just let the whole love and romance thing go atm.


----------



## HottiMegan

IC I have a very unhealthy pattern in my eating habits. I try to test how long i can go without feeling ill side effects of not eating. I go as long as i can during the day after waking up to NOT eat. I got to 1pm today and started feeling light headed. I wasn't hungry at all but knew i needed fuel. I know it messes with my metabolism and stuff but i have a hard time shaking my past anorexic tendencies.


----------



## 1love_emily

I confess that I'm really terrified of dating a non-FA. I'm terrified of not being the girl that boys like. I'm afraid that he'll discover that I'm pretty good at faking my confidence.

Nonetheless, I'm trying to put that behind me because he and I are going on our second date.


----------



## WVMountainrear

1love_emily said:


> I confess that I'm really terrified of dating a non-FA. I'm terrified of not being the girl that boys like. I'm afraid that he'll discover that I'm pretty good at faking my confidence.
> 
> Nonetheless, I'm trying to put that behind me because he and I are going on our second date.



I envy your bounce back, Em. I had a break up with a long time boyfriend at the beginning of December, and I'm still not quite back to wanting to jump fully into the dating scene.

Just be yourself and try not to put too much pressure on yourself (or him) right away. You'll do beautifully.


----------



## Oona

IC that I'm sort of seeing two guys at once right now (neither of which have hit the sexual part of the relationship) and I don't feel bad about it. I mean come on, I just found out this is the worst city for dating! I'm not about to pass up one guy for the other if I can't be sure it'll last... 

Ok, so I am kind of an asshole. I just don't want to be alone forever. And if one takes a turn for serious-town, I will end the other.


----------



## Surlysomething

Honey, it's called dating. There's nothing wrong with it, at all.

If you feeling like getting sexual with one over the other, you'll know your choice.

Have fun. 




Oona said:


> IC that I'm sort of seeing two guys at once right now (neither of which have hit the sexual part of the relationship) and I don't feel bad about it. I mean come on, I just found out this is the worst city for dating! I'm not about to pass up one guy for the other if I can't be sure it'll last...
> 
> Ok, so I am kind of an asshole. I just don't want to be alone forever. And if one takes a turn for serious-town, I will end the other.


----------



## Oona

Surlysomething said:


> Honey, it's called dating. There's nothing wrong with it, at all.
> 
> If you feeling like getting sexual with one over the other, you'll know your choice.
> 
> Have fun.



Never in my life have I dated like this. I've always been a one guy kind of gal. So this is new to me lol


----------



## Surlysomething

I like it!

Go get'em, girl. 




Oona said:


> Never in my life have I dated like this. I've always been a one guy kind of gal. So this is new to me lol


----------



## gogogal

I confess that I wink at myself in the mirror sometimes! Also, I confess I sorta can't believe I just admitted to that. yeah I'm a total dork - BUT I can't be the only one..


----------



## livelovelaughsmile

I confess that I'm getting addicted to Dr. Phil. Some of his shows are just grab my attention so much I can't help but watch!


----------



## KittyKitten

I'm so miserable at times. I need him in my life. Without him I feel an emptiness. I miss him........I want him to come back to me.....


----------



## loopytheone

I miss you and worry about you so much when you aren't here, I'd give anything to be by your side right now.


----------



## Pandasaur

IC I am starting to feel the itch to get back on POF again even though I had no luck the first 3 times O_O. There should be a rehab group for people like me seriously, its like I can't commit for more than 2 months before I delete my profile out of frustration.


----------



## Saoirse

Pandasaur said:


> IC I am starting to feel the itch to get back on POF again even though I had no luck the first 3 times O_O. There should be a rehab group for people like me seriously, its like I can't commit for more than 2 months before I delete my profile out of frustration.



I do it all the time. Sign up, spend a few months talking to people, get pissed off cause they're all weirdos so I delete my profile. Spend a month or so sulking, then give in and go back to it.


----------



## prettyeyes77

IC that I am feeling pretty bad today... I haven't weighed myself in quite a while and I did last night, I was 302lbs... It's only a few pounds more than the last time I weighed but its the first time I have ever seen the 3 as the first digit of my weight and its is hitting me a little harder than I thought it would...:really sad:


----------



## Surlysomething

The dozen red roses you arranged to have sent to me on Valentine's Day during your first tour to the Middle East...the ones I painstakingly dried and had displayed in my living room? I finally found the courage today, about 14 1/2 months after you tossed me away, to bag up and throw the FUCK OUT.


Yeah, I feel pretty good about that. 


Karma's going to be a bitch for you, son.


----------



## Lamia

I confess that my fear of being stabbed by the wife of my boyfriend's friend just reached a new level when she invited me to join her "SATAN" group on FB to talk about witches and tarot. Apparently they are all the same in her mind. If she were an actual satanist it wouldn't bother me. It bothers me because of what she thinks it is. She makes up stories to get attention and this is yet another "Stab" so to speak to get some sort of reaction. I removed myself and ignored her like all the times before. I am not sure if ignoring is the best thing to do. Some of this girl's cheese has slid off her cracker.


----------



## KittyKitten

My goodness, I must have been a witch in my past life. I must have been a serial sheep killer in the 13th century! What did I do to deserve this bullshit of love? It seems after 2008, love has been down the drain for me. 


Why is it I get the flaky, commitment phobes? 

And if they are not commitment phobes, they are freaking CLINGY, like leeches? Which becomes a turn off.

Damn it, if it's not one extreme or the other??????

But then if there are shared mutual feelings, some unnatural circumstance breaks us up! My goodness. It's hard as hell to find true love. I'm trying to have hope here.


----------



## 1love_emily

I've got a crush :wubu:


----------



## Piink

I confess, I don’t what to do at this point. The heart wants what it wants, right? But my head is trying to rationalize with it. There are more then 4000 miles between me and him. He seems to be everything I want and more, except for that one problem. Should I just let it play out and see what happens or do I stop now and say that I have made a once in a lifetime friend? I just don’t want to end up with a broken heart. And I don’t want him to end up with one either. 

I also confess, I am going to murder my ex. He is a man-child. I gave you three years and you gave me nothing. You took and took. So what if you bought me things. Are material things supposed to make up for everything? Do you realize how damn miserable I was? I much I loathed getting out of bed everyday? One of the best things I did was throw in the towel. I said we could still be friends, but you calling or writing me everyday on facebook is annoying. Grow up and move on. I’ll never be with you again. It’s not an experience I’d like to live through twice.


----------



## Oona

IC I know I'm putting myself in the same situation with him... to be cuddled and loved for an evening then ignored for a week or more. But I miss the feeling of being wanted so much that I will gladly put myself through this.

I just want to be wanted all the time, not when he feels like it.


----------



## Surlysomething

I hate that when he broke my heart it meant that i'd never be able to listen to the Commodores ever again without feeling sad.


True.

Haha.


----------



## Lovelyone

IC that trying to be "seductive" feels as awkward to me as a cow with a crutch in a china shop.


----------



## Surlysomething

Some days I can't fake giving a shit.

Today is one of them.


----------



## Sweetie

IC I find it really strange to be getting so much activity on the dating site I joined. I am not used to such positive reaction from men. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. It actually frightens me to some extent.


----------



## loopytheone

I am really, really depressed that my flat hunting is going so terribly and feel like I am doomed to stay trapped in this situation for the rest of my life.

I so badly that I had my partner here with me...


----------



## AuntHen

OK, so I know I can never compare the way I feel to the racism people live through or have lived through but right now, it's the closest way to describe how I feel.

I feel angry. I feel Malcolm Xish. I have such bitterness against fat hatred and haters. I want to riot and shout and march... I am so sick of being regarded by these people as subhuman. Their behavior and way of thinking disgusts me and they do not deserve my energy being used to feel this way but it's there 

Oppression sucks!


----------



## spiritangel

IC more than any other time of year Winter is the time I really hate being single all I can think about is someone to be snuggled up against in bed just him and me, in our own little warm wintery bubble


----------



## CaAggieGirl

IC that I really hate the whole meeting people thing.

This guy is seriously hot, talented, we have so much in common, doesn't live that far away, and absolutely fascinating. And yet, somehow I managed to screw it up. I just want to bang my head against the wall.


----------



## HottiMegan

I hate PMS with the white hot intensity of 10,000 suns!


----------



## Victoria08

IC that after thinking about it for months, I had my first Brazilian wax done a few weeks ago. I wasn't really nervous about the pain, I was more concerned that I'd have to lift my stomach out of the way and that I'd be super embarrassed and self-conscious. Well, the girl I went to was awesome...she was plus size as well and she made me feel very comfortable about the whole thing.
It's safe to say I'll be going back to get waxed again .


----------



## AuntHen

This is kind of long to watch but sooo funny and REAL... I kind of feel sorry for my boyfriend but then not too much, since it's my body that has to endure it  haha

Beware! It's coming soon!! :shocked:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8UT3WUH2Kg


----------



## Diana_Prince245

IC I'm going to have to lose some weight. I've been having a ton of back problems lately, and I won't last long as a nurse if that continues. I'm just going to have to plan better, so I'm not dependent on fast food for lunch during my 12-hour work days.


----------



## spiritangel

Diana_Prince245 said:


> IC I'm going to have to lose some weight. I've been having a ton of back problems lately, and I won't last long as a nurse if that continues. I'm just going to have to plan better, so I'm not dependent on fast food for lunch during my 12-hour work days.



We just got a Rachael Ray series where she spends an afternoon cooking for a weeks worth of meals. Or if you invest in a slow cooker that is another great way chuck everything in in the morning or before you go to bed and wake up or come home to dinner.

I have made my life such that I extremely rarely have convienience meals or fast food.

There are loads of little things you can do that help

some things I do are 

Put meats, fish, poultry bacon etc into meal size portions in the freezer

I often chop up some chicken or steak into stir fry strips this extra bit of prep might take a bit of time but saves time in the long run

Make a double batch of stuff your cooking and freeze the extra into meal size portions

there are tons of recipies and things floating around so wont add any here 




IC I am having an awesome day


----------



## CarlaSixx

When cute guys do nice things for me, it makes me way less self conscious about my size. Even if all they do is hold the door for me and say hi. Every "gentleman" move makes a big difference.


----------



## Lovelyone

IC that when guys do nice things for me it makes me more suspicious of them. I often wonder what they are going to ask of me in exchange for their kindness. It's a rare occasion that my thoughts on this particular subject are wrong.


----------



## Sweetie

IC that I'm really proud and amazed that I'm finally starting to stand up to mean people, while still being my civilized self and not stooping to their level.


----------



## Lovelyone

IC that I feel really good about standing up and doing things for myself these past few months.


----------



## Allie Cat

IC that I've decided to try to lose weight and get in better shape. Fat chicks are sexy and all, but it's not for me :x


----------



## stareingharder

Lamia said:


> I confess that I discoverd a while back that I can rest my boobs on the table at work. I know it sounds silly, but if you can try it please do. It amazed me how much easier it was to breathe when I lifted these puppies up on to this table and rested them there. I am glad I work alone so I can experiement  Also my neck and shoulders feel much better. The thought of a boob reduction sounds really good to me.



Did you ever get a reduction?


----------



## Diana_Prince245

Alicia Rose said:


> IC that I've decided to try to lose weight and get in better shape. Fat chicks are sexy and all, but it's not for me :x



You and me both, sister. The joint pain has finally gotten to me.


----------



## Macanudo

Lovelyone said:


> IC that when guys do nice things for me it makes me more suspicious of them. I often wonder what they are going to ask of me in exchange for their kindness. It's a rare occasion that my thoughts on this particular subject are wrong.



You should ask them, maybe is a thing good for both


----------



## CarlaSixx

I feel like a box. Like my body is so filled out that there's no more shape. Just boxy.

I used to have an hourglass shape, even if I was a BBW. I want that back.
Even if all I do is get a smaller middle part and everything else stay the same, I would look better. That's what I want.


----------



## Allie Cat

Diana_Prince245 said:


> You and me both, sister. The joint pain has finally gotten to me.



Aw.. sad pony :x


----------



## loopytheone

IC that I walked around town tonight in short shorts and a fitted tank top and I although I felt really anxious about it at first I am really proud of myself! Hooray for overcoming some of my anxiety disorder-related neurosis! =D


----------



## WVMountainrear

IC I've been feeling very low and unattractive lately. I really need to get my groove back.


----------



## penguin

lovelylady78 said:


> IC I've been feeling very low and unattractive lately. I really need to get my groove back.



I know that feeling, and it's not fun. You are definitely a lovely looking lady. I hope you find your groove again soon. <insert eyebrow waggle and suggestion to help here>


----------



## spiritangel

IC That every time I try on Lingerie lately I kind of just feel like I look silly not sure why just one of those hmm times


----------



## Sweet Tooth

It's interesting, sometimes, reading comments by people you know that they put out there for public reading. [here, FB, Twitter, whatever]

.....And you realize that there's some serious BS behind it, either in what they're trying to portray to others publicly or what they've said to you privately. I'm not sure if I should give a wry chuckle and shake my head or be offended/annoyed or what. Perhaps maybe cynicism makes it easier to keep things in an appropriate zone of closeness and know not to buy a load of crap, especially when you know confrontation of the discrepancy would likely result in unbelievable denials.

[Do I get a prize for an uber passive-aggressive post? LOL]


----------



## ashmamma84

Sweet Tooth said:


> It's interesting, sometimes, reading comments by people you know that they put out there for public reading. [here, FB, Twitter, whatever]
> 
> .....And you realize that there's some serious BS behind it, either in what they're trying to portray to others publicly or what they've said to you privately. I'm not sure if I should give a wry chuckle and shake my head or be offended/annoyed or what. Perhaps maybe cynicism makes it easier to keep things in an appropriate zone of closeness and know not to buy a load of crap, especially when you know confrontation of the discrepancy would likely result in unbelievable denials.
> 
> [Do I get a prize for an uber passive-aggressive post? LOL]



I've experienced the same thing in the past and it made me lose a bit of respect for the person. I know how annoying and disappointing it can be.


----------



## 1love_emily

I confess that I've lost a lot of weight since I started my summer job - and I want to keep losing.


----------



## spiritangel

IC I keep seeing myself falling into someones arms, however as there are no prospects of this at present its more than a little frustrating


----------



## Surlysomething

Fitting into capris that i've owned for a few years and absolutely love but have never worn because I look like a busted out can of biscuits in them and I had to attempt to do them up lying down and even then there was no way I would wear them anywhere....makes me feel pretty good. No laying down, no sucking anything in. They're so cute and comfortable.

It's a sign that my healthy/clean eating is paying off and i've been very mindful of my chronic health conditions for almost 7 months. It's a terribly hard thing when you have disordered eating issues.

I'm pretty proud of myself, i'll admit. But now I have to find my motivation to get back into the gym since i've hurt my back. MUST GO.


----------



## CarlaSixx

I've been really hung up over a guy lately. One minute he says I'm hot, the next he's drooling over Keira Knightly and Kate Beckingsale. I agree, those women are hot, but they're like 1/3 my weight. If even. 

It bothered me so much that I took out my scale for the first time in over 2 years. And now I feel even worse. 

I don't ever want to be rail thin. I don't think I'd look proper as a thin person. But being somewhere between BBw and ssbbw is frustrating. No one seems to honestly find me attractive and it's really starting to hurt.


----------



## ashmamma84

Lawd this heat and humidity is a fat girl nightmare. No matter how pulled together I look when I leave the house, I always feel so unkempt by the time I get back home. Between the sweating, chub rub, etc I'm not cut out! Lol This Hades weather is free to return to the south at once.


----------



## BriannaBombshell

I confess that I started to fall. I believe that my size scares him. He is a scared little boy instead of a man. I confess that I started to put my life and goals on hold for him. I am glad it all fell apart sooner rather than later but, I confess that it still hurts. Even though there was nothing really there.


On the plus side** I have re-evaluated my life goals and have started doing what I need to do to be me again. Only now will I have a partner who has a similar love for life!


----------



## 1love_emily

I have a really gross confession. 
It's the grossest part about being a big girl.
When you sweat under your tummy roll. Ugh, it's gross.


----------



## spiritangel

IC I don't really think about my size or loosing weight I knew I had lost a fair chunk over the last 10 years just by some old clothes but today I had it confirmed when I could actually squish into one of those picnic tables with the seats already attatched

I have not been able to do that in forever in fact when I was still with my last long term ex we would eat sitting on the bench seats instead.

I discovered this last year but it never dawned on me until today that this was something I had been to big to do for quite a long time


----------



## HottiMegan

IC I hate my monthly visitor. It decided to be four days late and came in as a doozy with terrible cramps and fatigue. Ugh!


----------



## 1love_emily

I love manicures.
I love pedicures.
I love sitting there having someone else clean up the tiniest little parts of my body. Because then I feel _fabulous _
I found a great little salon that does a cheap manicure. Cuticle clean up and polish for $10!


----------



## missyj1978

IC I have grown out of my size 16 jeans and it didnt even bother me. Hello size 18 nice to see you again


----------



## Stuffingkit

IC that as much as relationships are great, I'm really happy being by myself right now. I like spending time building and exploring myself as an individual!


----------



## Yayme

IC I'm new! Hi. Also I sometime hate my boobs because they are huge (H) make buying pretty dresses (which I adore) more difficult.


----------



## Sweet Tooth

I never imagined I'd still be so crazy for someone after 18 years, even more than in the beginning. Sometimes things just hit you and don't let go. And it's all good.


----------



## Victoria08

IC I feel like I'm too big for most guys to be attracted to me, and now that I've had to lose some weight for my shoulder surgery, I think I'm too small to be considered a BBW...and therefore too small for FA's to be attracted to me.
I mean, I'm happy with myself either way. But....I don't know. I just feel like I can't win.


----------



## missyj1978

Victoria08 said:


> IC I feel like I'm too big for most guys to be attracted to me, and now that I've had to lose some weight for my shoulder surgery, I think I'm too small to be considered a BBW...and therefore too small for FA's to be attracted to me.
> I mean, I'm happy with myself either way. But....I don't know. I just feel like I can't win.



^^ THIS! I feel this alot of the time! I know where your comming from with this all the way. I get "you would look great if you lost some weight" and "you would look great if you gained some weight". I just cant win I swear!! I am at a weight where I am happy but caught in the middle. Oh well they can just deal with it


----------



## spiritangel

missyj1978 said:


> ^^ THIS! I feel this alot of the time! I know where your comming from with this all the way. I get "you would look great if you lost some weight" and "you would look great if you gained some weight". I just cant win I swear!! I am at a weight where I am happy but caught in the middle. Oh well they can just deal with it



You know it doesnt matter what your size you still get this. I do from guys either your to fat for a relationship or not fat enough and I am an ssbbw who struggles to find clothes that fit, I think they are the guys who are not really ready for a relationship so nit pick

Be happy with who you are the rest will fall into place


----------



## CarlaSixx

I've been trying to come up with a Halloween costume idea all month. Because of my size, there is nothing I can do. So I'm thinking it's going to be the first Halloween ever where I have no plans and no costume.  And it absolutely breaks my heart.


----------



## RabbitScorpion

@Victoia, Missyj

Funny you would complain about being between WPTH and SSBBW. My ideal in a woman is in that "between" range, BMI about 35 to 40.


----------



## agnieszka

CarlaSixx said:


> I've been trying to come up with a Halloween costume idea all month. Because of my size, there is nothing I can do. So I'm thinking it's going to be the first Halloween ever where I have no plans and no costume.  And it absolutely breaks my heart.



Carla, I am totally with you on this. And it is an absurd you either need to start looking for a costume six months earlier or it will cost a fortune to get it made by a tailor. being between bbw and ssbbw really sucks....


----------



## lozonloz

IC that I'm scared of going back to living on my own because I'm not convinced I won't become a fucked up, screwed up crazy shut in that can't function properly.

But I can't stand the idea of not trying.


----------



## AmyJo1976

I'm afraid to confront my room mate about her recent attraction to me. I have never had a lesbain relationship, but she has. And now she seems to be coming on to me. I have played it off for a while now, but I kind of like it and I am confused. Sometimes I think that it juat isn't right and it might ruin our friendship. Others, I think it would be amazing.


----------



## Sweet Tooth

When one is naturally strong willed, stubborn, tenacious, and/or committed, it can be really hard to decide when to dig in one's heels and out-stubborn the situation or to say f- it and walk away from a mixed bag situation.

Perhaps I've dug in my heels too much in the past, and hope for improvement had way too much to do with it. I'm starting to wonder if unfounded hope is just a really bad habit I need to break. Or maybe it's pride that I can fix a situation, when sometimes you just can't fix crazy.

I'm at the point of wanting to just let people wallow in the pit they've created and climb out of it and walk away rather than fight.

[This is work related, so no need to ask if personal relationships are okay. LOL]


----------



## missyj1978

IC that I need a change in my life bad. A good man who can hold me at night, rub my feet and let me cook for him would be a welcome change!


----------



## HottiMegan

IC when i'm ovulating i become a ravenous beast and have to eat nearly constantly. It only lasts a day but man is it frustrating.


----------



## littlefairywren

IC that I never seem to learn my lesson with hair removal and now feel like a part of my anatomy is on fire. If I don't cut myself, remove patches of necessary hair by accident (like a random eyebrow), then I burn all and sundry. Ouch!!


----------



## 1love_emily

I have a real shit record with being dumped.
I've dumped one boy.
I've been dumped by six.

I just want a long term relationship, okay? Is it so bad to want to find a guy who thinks I hang the moon and who I think is funny and cute and smart?


----------



## moonvine

agnieszka said:


> Carla, I am totally with you on this. And it is an absurd you either need to start looking for a costume six months earlier or it will cost a fortune to get it made by a tailor. being between bbw and ssbbw really sucks....



have yall tried sanctuarie????


----------



## moonvine

IC that I have a serious, serious issue with clothes. I have way too many. I am moving and have found clothes with tags still on I don't remember buying. That's not good.


----------



## CarlaSixx

moonvine said:


> have yall tried sanctuarie????



Yes. It's not the kind of costume stuff I'm looking for. I don't do typical characters like witches, vampires, etc. I only do specific characters, which makes my job harder, but I hate being like everyone else.


----------



## spiritangel

IC I really need to keep my big mouth shut (and stop jinxing myself) and not get my hopes up


----------



## HottiMegan

IC I hate the terrible hip pain that comes with my monthly visitor. It hurts to do anything but lay down. But as a mom, no laying down for me until bed time!
Anyone else have hip pain from their period?


----------



## spiritangel

HottiMegan said:


> IC I hate the terrible hip pain that comes with my monthly visitor. It hurts to do anything but lay down. But as a mom, no laying down for me until bed time!
> Anyone else have hip pain from their period?



Yes and excruciating lower back pain, MY PCOS flares up the early onset osteo arthritus in my hips I waddle like a duck somedays


----------



## missyj1978

Hip and back pain are the worst! I have fibromyalgia and hurt most days. I have days I cant even hardly walk ugh...


----------



## Diana_Prince245

IC I joined Weight Watchers today. I've lost 20 pounds on my own recently, and I'd like to lose about 50 more. Weight Watchers worked in the past for me. I'll never be skinny, but I'd like to be able to get back into lifting, and I need my feet and knees to stop aching for that. Also, the doctor said I needed to lose weight to get my breast reduction covered by my insurance. Apparently, I have to try to shrink them with weight loss first. She and I know that doesn't work for me.


----------



## lozonloz

IC that the next health proffessional to suggest I have weight loss surgery on the nhs is going to get beaten with a medical grade urinal until its bent permenantly around their head. 

I don't have high blood pressure. I don't have high cholesterol. I don't have diabetes. In fact, I don't have anything fucking wrong with me and three of you trying to bully me into extensive surgery in four days is too many when all I want is a contraceptive fucking implant.

I feel like shit. I hate doctors. I hate nurses. I hate the whole fucking medical establishment making me feel like a worthless problem they have to fucking solve.


----------



## AuntHen

lozonloz said:


> IC that the next health proffessional to suggest I have weight loss surgery on the nhs is going to get beaten with a medical grade urinal until its bent permenantly around their head.
> 
> I don't have high blood pressure. I don't have high cholesterol. I don't have diabetes. In fact, I don't have anything fucking wrong with me and three of you trying to bully me into extensive surgery in four days is too many when all I want is a contraceptive fucking implant.
> 
> I feel like shit. I hate doctors. I hate nurses. I hate the whole fucking medical establishment making me feel like a worthless problem they have to fucking solve.




*Hugs* Sorry to hear this and I hope you can change or find another doctor who doesn't do this kind of crap! You are worthy!


----------



## Sweetie

IC that I have done all sorts of things to forget the feel of his hand on my arm and the way my whole body became alive and even after all this time its like yesterday...oh what I would do for just ONE NIGHT to have those magical fingers touch me. :blush::blush::blush:


----------



## 1love_emily

The boy I'm dating now smokes, which he knows is an absolute deal breaker. 

So he made me this preposition.

He will quit smoking if I quit saying bad things about myself. Every negative thing I say about myself, I owe him a cigar.

I can't tell how I feel about it. Yes, I need to learn to say nice things about myself, but the majority of my humor is self deprecating humor. 

What do you guys think?


----------



## Oona

1love_emily said:


> The boy I'm dating now smokes, which he knows is an absolute deal breaker.
> 
> So he made me this preposition.
> 
> He will quit smoking if I quit saying bad things about myself. Every negative thing I say about myself, I owe him a cigar.
> 
> I can't tell how I feel about it. Yes, I need to learn to say nice things about myself, but the majority of my humor is self deprecating humor.
> 
> What do you guys think?



Relationships are all about compromise. Luckily, this set of compromises will benefit you both. I think it's going to be a good thing for you and for him. I say give it a shot


----------



## Gingembre

Oona said:


> Relationships are all about compromise. Luckily, this set of compromises will benefit you both. I think it's going to be a good thing for you and for him. I say give it a shot



I agree


----------



## WVMountainrear

I agree too, Emily. Both things are bad habits that ought to be broken.


----------



## Sweet Tooth

1love_emily said:


> The boy I'm dating now smokes, which he knows is an absolute deal breaker.
> 
> So he made me this preposition.
> 
> He will quit smoking if I quit saying bad things about myself. Every negative thing I say about myself, I owe him a cigar.
> 
> I can't tell how I feel about it. Yes, I need to learn to say nice things about myself, but the majority of my humor is self deprecating humor.
> 
> What do you guys think?



If someone said those things about someone you love, even in a "humorous" way, would you get pissed off after awhile? Maybe he doesn't want someone he cares about being talked poorly about, even by that person [i.e. you].... which really is a pretty awesome trait in a cute boy.


----------



## penguin

IC I'm at the point where I'm thinking I might need to go on antidepressants again. I know it's situational and not clinical, but it's been going on for a while and it's getting harder to deal with everything.


----------



## Gingembre

((((hugs Pengin))))


----------



## CleverBomb

penguin said:


> IC I'm at the point where I'm thinking I might need to go on antidepressants again. I know it's situational and not clinical, but it's been going on for a while and it's getting harder to deal with everything.


Situational depression is still depression. Do what you need to -- and best wishes.You'll get through this, whatever it is. Take care.


----------



## HottiMegan

I have been a raging asshole one minute and a sobbing baby the next today.. i hate pms.


----------



## Tracyarts

I got hit on at the gym this morning. It wasn't an ego boost. It didn't make me feel empowered, womanly, or sexy. It was awkward and cringeworthy.

Tracy


----------



## penguin

Gingembre said:


> ((((hugs Pengin))))





CleverBomb said:


> Situational depression is still depression. Do what you need to -- and best wishes.You'll get through this, whatever it is. Take care.



Thank you. I saw my doctor today and have a script for an antidepressant and something to help with anxiety and insomnia. I can't afford to get them filled as yet (Saturday would be the earliest, otherwise next Monday when I get paid - I'm on my last $8 right now), but knowing I have them helps.


----------



## CastingPearls

I'd like to be able to say I'd like to have someone to share my life with, without being chastised for being ungrateful for what I have, or that not enough time has passed since my separation, or that the timing is wrong....anyone who can look for any reason will find one. Right now I'm not looking to get remarried and I have my friends to have good times with. It'd just be nice to have a romantic something with someone special after a long long drought. And without being smacked on the hands because I voice it or how lonely it is.


----------



## littlefairywren

CastingPearls said:


> I'd like to be able to say I'd like to have someone to share my life with, without being chastised for being ungrateful for what I have, or that not enough time has passed since my separation, or that the timing is wrong....anyone who can look for any reason will find one. Right now I'm not looking to get remarried and I have my friends to have good times with. It'd just be nice to have a romantic something with someone special after a long long drought. And without being smacked on the hands because I voice it or how lonely it is.



No one has the right to tell you when you're ready to have someone in your life, Lainey. Only you know, and you alone. People who make those judgement calls are either using their own personalities as a guide, or they're just busy bodies whom always know better. I hope you find that someone :wubu:


----------



## penguin

Child support came in today, not next week like I was expecting, so I can afford to get my scripts filled today. I wanted to start them over the weekend, so this is great!


----------



## CleverBomb

That's terrific! 
Best luck to you.


----------



## DearPrudence

Confession:

I try really hard to stay confident, to put my best self out there, but today when I stumbled upon a coworker's OKCupid (whom I've had a crush on) and saw that he answered a question about weight preferences with a "no" for fatties, I became totally deflated.

I'm trying not to let it get to me, but I have to admit I'm bummed out.

:\


----------



## littlefairywren

Yesterday an early Christmas present set of a little scenario that has left me feeling very hurt and unsure of myself.

Someone gave me a self help book which I took as a small insult. Not so bad, because the person probably had the best intentions and she loves reading them. I personally hate the damn things. However, my mother started reading it and said that it would be a good idea for me to read it because it has a section in there for people whom are not in touch with reality. I told her that one author can't make sweeping statements and it be a general rule for everyone. She disagreed and said "you need to read this, because you don't have a grasp on reality. You walk around carrying all that weight and you think you're normal. You're not normal." 

I know that her culture means that it's ok to just blurt out crap and think it's a help, but seriously! Talking to her is useless because she'll never understand the pain she causes and most often these things disintegrate into an argument which I just don't want to deal with. 

It just hurts.


----------



## HottiMegan

IC I am having the period from hell. I've never had such cramping or high flow before. Ugh. I hope it tapers off by this evening so i can do pre-tday foods. (pie, cookies and cheese ball)


----------



## Boonie

I must confess, that i definitely miss having my ex grabbing my love handles when we would be alone in an elevator. haha


----------



## Yakatori

littlefairywren said:


> "_I know that her culture means that it's ok to just blurt out crap and think it's a help, but seriously!_"


Is she an American?


----------



## Lamia

Yakatori said:


> Is she an American?



seriously? The American way is a lot more passive aggressive instead of direct statements. 

Fairy, I am sorry to hear that. Parents seem to have so much more power to hurt us than anyone else, no matter what age you are.


----------



## Yakatori

If I didn't know any better; and I do, as I can tell that you should as well; I might be wondering at what what you're sug-gesting.... That I like..._really thin pancakes....._


----------



## Saoirse

Yakatori said:


> If I didn't know any better; and I do, as I can tell that you should as well; I might be wondering at what what you're sug-gesting.... That I like..._really thin pancakes....._



ser-ious-ly? No one knows-what you are ta-lking about 99-% of the time-.


----------



## Sweet Tooth

I admit it. I'm a sucker for "women's porn"... like when he says, "Honey, you just relax. You made [heated] dinner. I'll do the dishes." :wubu:

[ETA: It would be totally different if he was dismissive of me and my capabilities. He knows I'm an independent person who can do the things that need to be done, but sometimes it's nice to be pampered and sit back and relax a bit.]


----------



## Shan34

IC that I miss the person I used to be, before I learned about life. IC that since becoming an "adult" I tend to see the dark side of eveything first. Never used to be like that.


----------



## littlefairywren

Yakatori said:


> Is she an American?



How odd. No, she's of Russian heritage, born in China.



Lamia said:


> seriously? The American way is a lot more passive aggressive instead of direct statements.
> 
> Fairy, I am sorry to hear that. Parents seem to have so much more power to hurt us than anyone else, no matter what age you are.



Thank you, Lamia. You're so right! I keep thinking that I should be over her barbs by now, but she has a way of bringing me down that no one else can.


----------



## Aurora

Shan34 said:


> IC that I miss the person I used to be, before I learned about life. IC that since becoming an "adult" I tend to see the dark side of eveything first. Never used to be like that.



I feel the same way. I wish I could go back to college.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ut6YtMXjaZY


----------



## Diana_Prince245

I finally killed my yoga DVD. I'm going to replace it, but I really hate buying stuff for myself during the holidays.


----------



## lozonloz

IC that the fact that my friend bought be a Christmas Present is fucking with my head.

It feels like a cuddly toy. Did he get me a cuddly toy? Does that mean something? 

This is ridiculous.


----------



## petersmyth79

littlefairywren said:


> Yesterday an early Christmas present set of a little scenario that has left me feeling very hurt and unsure of myself.
> 
> Someone gave me a self help book which I took as a small insult. Not so bad, because the person probably had the best intentions and she loves reading them. I personally hate the damn things. However, my mother started reading it and said that it would be a good idea for me to read it because it has a section in there for people whom are not in touch with reality. I told her that one author can't make sweeping statements and it be a general rule for everyone. She disagreed and said "you need to read this, because you don't have a grasp on reality. You walk around carrying all that weight and you think you're normal. You're not normal."
> 
> I know that her culture means that it's ok to just blurt out crap and think it's a help, but seriously! Talking to her is useless because she'll never understand the pain she causes and most often these things disintegrate into an argument which I just don't want to deal with.
> 
> It just hurts.




I have family like that, it really sux. you look great, i wouldn't pay any attention to a stupid self help book . my family were bagging me a few days ago about drinking energy drinks (i would be lucky to drink 3 a week). telling me that i would have a heart attack etc. and it always ends up a massive argument with me being the "bad guy"


----------



## CastingPearls

Yakatori, that was really douchey. 

(See what I did there?)


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Saoirse said:


> ser-ious-ly? No one *knows*-what you are ta-lking about 99-% of the time-.




*cares 
.


----------



## Micara

IC that the worse someone treats me, the more I want them. And nice guys who treat me well bore me. I don't know why this is, and I wish I knew how to change.


----------



## FatAndProud

I hate going to the bar with my gfs. I guess you could call it jealousy, but at the same time...I don't like the kind of attention my gfs get. My gfs are constantly hit on and it makes me uncomfortable when they are grinding up on random men throughout the night and I'm either dancing by myself...or just sitting lol

The men you meet at bars are definitely not my type, anyways. But my gfs are shy and feel they need me to go with. lol I'm outgoing and loud. I don't care.


----------



## CastingPearls

FatAndProud said:


> I hate going to the bar with my gfs. I guess you could call it jealousy, but at the same time...I don't like the kind of attention my gfs get. My gfs are constantly hit on and it makes me uncomfortable when they are grinding up on random men throughout the night and I'm either dancing by myself...or just sitting lol
> 
> The men you meet at bars are definitely not my type, anyways. But my gfs are shy and feel they need me to go with. lol I'm outgoing and loud. I don't care.


They're shy AND grinding up on random men?


----------



## FatAndProud

CastingPearls said:


> They're shy AND grinding up on random men?



Lol they only do it when loaded.


----------



## Yakatori

Obviously, the answer to this particular challenge is...


----------



## StargirlCupcakes

penguin said:


> IC I'm at the point where I'm thinking I might need to go on antidepressants again. I know it's situational and not clinical, but it's been going on for a while and it's getting harder to deal with everything.



Whatever you prefer is up to you, no judgement here, but if you haven't looked into it I suggest trying SAM-E for a mood boosting supplement. It's supposedly better than a lot of the "freaky" chemicals in antidepressants you get from the doctor, less intrusive in your personal life because you can buy them off the shelf at Kroger, Walmart, online, anywhere (unless you'd rather talk to a doctor about stuff). I've tried them for probably 6 months or so and once you find the right dose, for me it was two 400mg tablets every morning, they did wonders for my mood!

Here's a link to them on Amazon, where they are way more expensive than in stores but just so you see some general info on them. 

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00655Z37Y/?tag=skimlinks_replacement-20


----------



## penguin

StargirlCupcakes said:


> Whatever you prefer is up to you, no judgement here, but if you haven't looked into it I suggest trying SAM-E for a mood boosting supplement. It's supposedly better than a lot of the "freaky" chemicals in antidepressants you get from the doctor, less intrusive in your personal life because you can buy them off the shelf at Kroger, Walmart, online, anywhere (unless you'd rather talk to a doctor about stuff). I've tried them for probably 6 months or so and once you find the right dose, for me it was two 400mg tablets every morning, they did wonders for my mood!
> 
> Here's a link to them on Amazon, where they are way more expensive than in stores but just so you see some general info on them.
> 
> http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00655Z37Y/?tag=skimlinks_replacement-20



I've been on antidepressants for just over 3 months now, and they've made a huge difference. I'm still having days of intense apathy or sadness, but they're not as strong or frequent as before. My anxiety has dropped down a lot, too. I'm having trouble finding the motivation to do more than the basics, but it's getting better.


----------



## KittyKitten

I guess some people are destined to be alone. Why is it the cool guys that I talk to are across the ocean? Maybe I should travel because I don't think I will ever find my soulmate in this silly little state full of flakes....flakier than frosted flakes. 

I was dating this one guy recently, and I remember I loved his passion, his presence, his boldness when we first met asking me to be his girl. I thought he was the one. Then he had financial woes and he pulled back from me, no more calls, texts, I had to break up with him. Not because of the financial woes but because he was being distant. So next time, I wiil never keep my hopes up. I'm getting old, I need to settle.......


----------



## Diana_Prince245

I feel you, Kitty. My cats are all I need in the companionship at night department. They cuddle, take up more than their fair share of the bed, and never wake me up in the middle of my sleep for sex.


----------



## HottiMegan

IC as i get older my period gets worse and worse. I'm thinking of asking my doctor to give me one of those birth control pills that i only get it every few months. My whole hip area gets extremely sore during and i can't get comfy. Cramps are getting so bad that they make me nauseous. I'm ready to stop having these.


----------



## penguin

HottiMegan said:


> IC as i get older my period gets worse and worse. I'm thinking of asking my doctor to give me one of those birth control pills that i only get it every few months. My whole hip area gets extremely sore during and i can't get comfy. Cramps are getting so bad that they make me nauseous. I'm ready to stop having these.



Have you thought about an IUD? A few of my friends have the Mirena one and they love it. I've been told the copper one (without hormones) can make your period heavier, but the one with hormones can take it away completely. I'm a bit squicked out by having something like that permanently inside me, but my friends don't have that issue. One friend has been using them for a decade or so, and loves only having to worry about changing them every five years. Having the hormones released directly to your uterus is better, I'm told, because you require less than with the pill or other forms.


----------



## HottiMegan

penguin said:


> Have you thought about an IUD? A few of my friends have the Mirena one and they love it. I've been told the copper one (without hormones) can make your period heavier, but the one with hormones can take it away completely. I'm a bit squicked out by having something like that permanently inside me, but my friends don't have that issue. One friend has been using them for a decade or so, and loves only having to worry about changing them every five years. Having the hormones released directly to your uterus is better, I'm told, because you require less than with the pill or other forms.



I had thought about that at some point. I think our insurance covers it too. I might bring it up to my GP doc during my physical. It'd be better than remembering to take a pill every day at the same time. (I'm in no need of actual birth control, just period control)


----------



## Oona

IC I've finally found a man that makes me feel like a beautiful, confident woman. And boy howdy, does he know how to keep me coming back for more!


----------



## FatAndProud

I just added a man on Facebook that danced at a bar with me a few months back. He is a friend of a friend, I didn't stalk lol I'm nervous to see his response lol


----------



## Shan34

So for the past few months I've been noticing these little holes in my shirts and I was blaming the washer. :blush: Turns out that they are from my belly, the fabric against the button of my jeans and being rubbed from counter tops! 

Is this making sense, because I've tried to describe it as best I could. *Sigh* I'm gonna ruin ALL my shirts eventually. 

Tonight I tucked my new shirt in my jeans as I was making dinner and doing the dishes. Maybe it will last a little longer this way...


----------



## Micara

IC that I just booked a trip in September to Ireland and England. I haven't told anyone except my best friend and the people I am visiting.

Is it ridiculous that I am 38 years old, I own my own home, and I am still scared to death of what my mom is going to say? Holy crap.


----------



## loopytheone

I had that moment where I felt truly beautiful for the first time in my life. Trying on wedding dresses and looking at myself in the mirror, big and beautiful and glowing, I have never felt more amazing. I usually have a pretty poor opinion of my looks but I had staff members and other customers all coming over to tell me how beautiful I looked even though there were lots of other ladies there with their makeup on and hair done and looking fabulous, where as I was just bare face, scruffy haired me. And I felt beautiful like that.


----------



## Diana_Prince245

I've lost weight, 45 poundsish, and I need new clothes. I got overwhelmed in the dressing room because a woman's 14 fit perfectly, meaning I likely can wear straight sizes. I just couldn't deal with that, so I left slightly tearful. File that under unexpected feelings for $200, Alex.


----------



## missyj1978

IC it's one thing after another. But I have to look at life like a learning experience or else what that point.


----------



## lovelocs

IC that lovelocs is lovelorn. I finally meet a man that I respect, admire, and lust after... And he is so consumed with self-loathing that there's nothing to be done. I'm going to stay drunk for a month- that's when he leaves.


----------



## snow-white

loopytheone said:


> I had that moment where I felt truly beautiful for the first time in my life. Trying on wedding dresses and looking at myself in the mirror, big and beautiful and glowing, I have never felt more amazing. I usually have a pretty poor opinion of my looks but I had staff members and other customers all coming over to tell me how beautiful I looked even though there were lots of other ladies there with their makeup on and hair done and looking fabulous, where as I was just bare face, scruffy haired me. And I felt beautiful like that.



Are you getting married? If so, congratulations!


----------



## sarahreign

I have pretty much given up finding "The One" mainly because it seems that every guy or girl I talk to, it starts out so nice and sweet. Then out of nowhere they tend to vanish. This happens both online OR in person. I have to agree that all the ones I really can develop feelings for live across the universe. I am open about being fat, loving my fat and having somebody who feels the same way- that will like ME for ME and every pound in between. I think it just honestly boils down to the immaturity of people these days. Society is so screwed up that honestly, I am done looking. If something good and worth while crosses my path then so be it. But to waste time looking? It's for the birds.


----------



## HottiMegan

I can't tell if i'm having cramps from an over due period or really bad gas.. I guess time will tell.


----------



## FatAndProud

He's coming in 17 days via train  I miss him so, so much. It's gonna be just like the movies he said! Lol it beats driving 9 hours one way! The things FAs do for a whole lotta love lol


----------



## Tad

FatAndProud said:


> He's coming in 17 days via train  I miss him so, so much. It's gonna be just like the movies he said! Lol it beats driving 9 hours one way! The things FAs do for a whole lotta love lol



Woot!

My wife and I spent a couple of years where we were around a 6-7 hour drive apart....but neither of us had a car, so we took the train back and forth (usually each month one of us would go to see the other for a weekend--yes, that got expensive). We both still have such warm&fuzzy feelings towards the train, associating it with going to see the other 

So, yah, just getting warm nostalgic feelings from reading your post there.


----------



## Micara

I've just realized that this guy that I've been talking to for over a year is Mr. Big and I am Carrie Bradshaw. And I am not sure we are going to make it to Season 6.


----------



## firefly

Everyone around me seems to find his/her significant other. I'm not that lucky. I don't dislike being a SSBBW but I hate most of the damage that being overweight for so many years has done to my body and I don't want to show the damages to anybody *sigh*


----------



## FatAndProud

firefly said:


> Everyone around me seems to find his/her significant other. I'm not that lucky. I don't dislike being a SSBBW but I hate most of the damage that being overweight for so many years has done to my body and I don't want to show the damages to anybody *sigh*



I know it's easier said than done, but put yourself out there. There's someone for everyone - I'm certain of it! Patience is what it's about. Live your life and love more. You'd be surprised what turns up!

Also, as a German American....I'm rooting for you! Lol


----------



## Shan34

I recently got hit on by a Marine and the owner of the Mexican restaurant I had just ordered lunch from. He wanted to take me on a date, said he was in love with my eyes. I left feeling pretty good until the cynical side of me kicked in and said he probably hits on all the fatties so they come back for more, being the owner and all. And really it made me lol.

IC that even though I've worked through a lot of my personal issues regarding my size and shape, there are times its too easy to slip into the ugly side of my life.


----------



## Ohio Lady

I gave up soda pop and lost 20 pounds in 3 weeks (this is no joke) it is amazing how giving up soda can make you lose that much weight


----------



## Deacone

IC that i'm using my new tattoo as an excuse not to go to the gym today as it still hurts to move my arm lol


----------



## luvmybhm

ic i dyed my hair blonde this week and cut it to a bob just below my ears. i am not sure how i feel about it. it will make my hair dying easier as my roots won't stick out as much as when i keep it darker. i am going to give it a week to see if it grows on me and decide if i want to change it.


----------



## Oona

IC that once he proposed to me, I've wanted to get back into eating healthier and being more active, but I just can't. With full time work and full time school, I'm just too dang tired!


----------



## mermaid8

I confess that more often than not I am utterly and completely lonely. The type of loneliness that is so deep it takes your breathe away. Single again, childless and with few friends. Loneliness always seem to creep into my soul especially in nighttime. Sometimes days go by with me only saying few words and other days I go 10 or 15 hours without uttering a word to a single soul. This is not something that is easy to admit.


----------



## Deacone

I confess that my husband and I made a sex tape, and I was looking back at it - annnnnnd I wasn't watching anything but my glorious new tattoo and how hot I looked with it


----------



## CastingPearls

mermaid8 said:


> I confess that more often than not I am utterly and completely lonely. The type of loneliness that is so deep it takes your breathe away. Single again, childless and with few friends. Loneliness always seem to creep into my soul especially in nighttime. Sometimes days go by with me only saying few words and other days I go 10 or 15 hours without uttering a word to a single soul. This is not something that is easy to admit.


It's probably no consolation, but you are not alone. Hugs.


----------



## mermaid8

I confess that I sleep with a teddy bear just to have something to hug. Yes, I'm 32 yrs old and get my affection from a stuffed animal.


----------



## CastingPearls

mermaid8 said:


> I confess that I sleep with a teddy bear just to have something to hug. Yes, I'm 32 yrs old and get my affection from a stuffed animal.


I'm not ashamed to say that since my divorce, I keep piles of folded clean laundry, and books on one side of my bed, with pillows, so I don't feel like I'm alone.

I also sleep with a stuffed lamb and I'm older than you.


----------



## Marlayna

mermaid8 said:


> I confess that I sleep with a teddy bear just to have something to hug. Yes, I'm 32 yrs old and get my affection from a stuffed animal.


Sometimes I need to hug something in bed, it helps me sleep. My husband is there, but I don't want to wake him. 
There's nothing weird about teddy bear affection at any age, it's like hugging a pillow, but it's got a face and a name.


----------



## mermaid8

CastingPearls said:


> It's probably no consolation, but you are not alone. Hugs.



Thank you for your kinds words they are greatly appreciated.


----------



## mermaid8

Marlayna said:


> Sometimes I need to hug something in bed, it helps me sleep. My husband is there, but I don't want to wake him.
> There's nothing weird about teddy bear affection at any age, it's like hugging a pillow, but it's got a face and a name.



It wasn't easy to admit, so thank you for not judging me.


----------



## Fat Molly

Yeah, even me and my primary cuddle stuffed pigs. and we're together and sleep in the same bed and everything. stuffed things are great to hug. 

i'm so sorry you feel so lonely. so sorry.


----------



## Puddles

IC that the past two years with my abusive "so called family" has changed the person I used to be, and I mourn for the person I was.


----------



## Deacone

Marlayna said:


> Sometimes I need to hug something in bed, it helps me sleep. My husband is there, but I don't want to wake him.
> There's nothing weird about teddy bear affection at any age, it's like hugging a pillow, but it's got a face and a name.



Lol I like the fact you care about waking your husband. I just wake mine up and say "HUG MEEE" and he does. I give no fucks about waking him up 

Oh Puddles <3 bless you. 

Mermaid - If my husband isn't with me I sleep with pillows and I do have my stuffed dog toy called Doggy (yah I know, super brilliant naming) which I have had since my first Christmas - and he has travelled everywhere with me. Even now. I cuddle him when I've had bad dreams too - so don't feel ashamed. We all have a comforting thing, if it happens to be a stuffed toy then fuck it, who cares!


----------



## KimmyCrush

I sleep with a bear too! I'm single and can't be with the person I want to be with so I sleep with a bear but I miss cuddling and some days it's a struggle.


----------



## Puddles

IC that today was my first time ever seeing a counselor.


----------



## mermaid8

Deacone said:


> Lol I like the fact you care about waking your husband. I just wake mine up and say "HUG MEEE" and he does. I give no fucks about waking him up
> 
> Oh Puddles <3 bless you.
> 
> Mermaid - If my husband isn't with me I sleep with pillows and I do have my stuffed dog toy called Doggy (yah I know, super brilliant naming) which I have had since my first Christmas - and he has travelled everywhere with me. Even now. I cuddle him when I've had bad dreams too - so don't feel ashamed. We all have a comforting thing, if it happens to be a stuffed toy then fuck it, who cares!



I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who need a stuffed toy or another object to hug while sleeping. I wish it wasn't the case that I needed my teddy bear ( I expected to be married by now) but at least I know I'm not alone.


----------



## 1love_emily

I want to talk to my ex. I haven't wanted to since we broke up Feb 2012. But I really want to see how he's doing... and maybe rub my success in his face. Is that terrible?


----------



## loopytheone

1love_emily said:


> I want to talk to my ex. I haven't wanted to since we broke up Feb 2012. But I really want to see how he's doing... and maybe rub my success in his face. Is that terrible?



That isn't terrible at all, it is quite natural. I admit that I didn't block my ex on facebook for a few months because I knew that eventually he would come crawling back to me, apologising and telling me how right I was about everything. Which he did. 

Though to be honest, I found it far less satisfying when it actually happened than I thought I would. So perhaps that will be the case if you contact your ex?


----------



## Saoirse

I remember a few years ago, I sent my ex a message on FB, just saying hello and asking how his family was doing. We were together for a little over 2 years and I really liked his family, so I thought it seemed pretty innocent. He immediately went into the whole "We're over, I dont want to be with you, blah blah blah" I was like dude, we broke up like 6 fucking years ago. I DONT WANT YOU EITHER (especially since after we split he realized he loved booze and he got all bloated and red-faced and icky looking lol)

Then last year, we bumped into eachother at a Halloween event. He showed up with a mutual friend, and I spent a lot of the night talking to that friend, but my ex wouldnt even come near me! LOL! And then he started chatting with the (male) friend I was there with! When we were leaving, I grabbed my friend and asked him what they were talking about and he just chuckled -"You!"

I dont remember what he said, but it was nothing terrible. I think it was something along the lines of "So, you're banging my ex-girlfriend!" lol


----------



## archivaltype

IC that I've gone and gotten my priorities jacked up. Not that they've ever been right in the first place, but this was the first time in a long time I *thought* they were at least semi in the maybe sort of right place. 
Long story long: I met a boy who I really liked online (LoL for you gamer peeps) and we hit it off immediately, not romantically at all, just like bros. He was funny, I was funny, and hell we are pretty hilarious together. Things got progressively more romantic and finally we agreed to meet up (there is considerable distance between us, LA and OH  ) so we did and holy oh my god. I felt like that was it; I knew for certain in the moment that I first saw him that I was in head over heels love. Things went hard and fast, exactly the way we both wanted them too but also the way they should not have gone. I think we needed to take more time to get to know each other better, especially in retrospect, but hindsight's 20/20 right? Anyway, he came up a few weeks ago to meet my family and things were just like the first time we met. Sparks flutters blah blah blah. A few days after he left I got this feeling in the pit of my stomach like something was just...wrong. Of course it was, and we had a horrible 5am discussion where we were both falling asleep and I kind of fell apart a litt...lot a bit. The next day we didn't really talk about it, or the next, or the next...I was so sick to my stomach I could have just crawled into a ball and died. From the beginning he was always the one who was the "future talker" and the "I love you" sayer...I don't say nor talk about these things until I am absolutely sure, and when, like I said, I saw him for that first time, my deal was signed. So I called him before work the other day and we talked for a long time about us and our future and he's a lost soul who doesn't know what he wants to do with his life and I'm finally getting my own shit back together and I felt like I am at a place where I can help and support him, but for now we have decided that it's best to put our relationship on the backburner. Adjust our priorities. Which is good, I can't deny that. It just...I love him, and I really don't want to lose him, but if I do...I do, I guess. Another lesson learned. It still sucks giant monkey fruit balls. 
Part of me just wants to be totally done. Just a little bitty part, but it's still there. Just tell him that I can't wait and I can't be just friends and it's now or never because honestly that's easier than semi awkward phone conversations and depressing sex dreams...but... I feel like, deep down, if I don't at least try and figure this out, I will regret it for the rest of my life. So for now...we are friends, awkward friends, but friends, still learning about each other and forgiving and growing up. 
IC that sometimes...I really just want things to be easy, like in movies, ok? Is that really so much to ask?? :<
tl;dr I don't know if this makes any sense it's late and I'm drained in every since of the wordssssss


----------



## Puddles

IC, that I'm not liking my counselor, and I'm having a really hard time dealing with this PTSD thing. I feel like I'm all alone in this, when I know that I'm not, but I can't seem to change the way I feel. :huh:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

Puddles said:


> IC, that I'm not liking my counselor, and I'm having a really hard time dealing with this PTSD thing. I feel like I'm all alone in this, when I know that I'm not, but I can't seem to change the way I feel. :huh:



Is there anyway you can ask for a new counselor?


----------



## mermaid8

I confess that I feel lost and confused like I'm wandering aimlessly through my life. I feel directionless which if you knew me in real life would shock you. I've always been the woman with a direction and plan and now I'm just so utterly lost. I'm too ashamed to share any of this with anyone in life especially my judgemental family. 

I also confess that I hadn't had a real hug ( the kind that make you feel comforted) in seven months. This has caused me ( a 32 yr old woman) to start sleeping with a stuffed bear for comfort otherwise I would wind up either candy all night until I fell asleep. P.S. - I never slept with a stuffed toy or anything as a kid.


----------



## mermaid8

I'm in such an emotional place. I just wish I had emotional support in my life. People are always abandoning me when things get tough. I'm tired of being the only one to support myself when life gets tough.


----------



## BigCutieAurora

I confess that I'm extremely horny and sexually frustrated. That is all.


----------



## AmpleAurora

I confess that i'm really annoyed that i'm consistently single and don't know why haha


----------



## Sculptor

I confess that I spend too much time watching shirtless joggers on the beach.


----------



## Leem

I confess that I can never say no to chocolate.


----------



## DianaSSBBW

I confess.. I was almost too tired for activism..
I work at a store that does Birthday Parties and "Paint Parties" for people that book the events. 
Today, I was updating the Facebook page when I overhead a 9 year old girl (she was with two adults) booking her Birthday Party. I overhear the girl tell her mom - I don't want the fat lady to teach my party.
My head starts to spin - I am thinking....you don't have to make this about fat activism - too many people around and a party with 14 little 7 year old girls plus parent was happening in the classroom. We had also had had a party for 12 - 10 year old from 11 AM to 1:30 PM and I was a little tired.
Well, this soon to be 10 year old really pushed the wrong button...the next thing out of her mouth was..and I don't want the black teacher that is in the party and she pointed to the classroom.
From the moms mouth I hear: Can we request a teacher?
I had heard enough..I approached the girl and her parents. I told the 9 year old girl that I, the fat lady, wished her the best birthday party ever. That we are lucky to have the lady in the back teach. That she is a lady working on her masters and was a basketball star in high school a college, a great artist, her name is _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Look her up! That we were sorry, but she was going to need to find another place for her party.
Well, it did not go over well...but as they were leaving I heard the lady ask the guy..What am I going to do? She wants her party here...
The guy answered....I don't know....but she needs to stop spending so much time at her dads house.:doh:


----------



## snuggletiger

sorry you had to go through that


----------



## DianaSSBBW

snuggletiger said:


> sorry you had to go through that



Thank you!

Some of the "HAPPENING" in rural Pennsylvania are just :doh:

Just another reason to remember to VOTE!!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I confess that my fiancé doesn't understand the plus size community and I have a fascination towards larger women.


----------



## Sweetnlow

i weigh 100 pounds more than my father


----------



## AmandaLynn

I ate six slices of pizza and some Halloween candy and I am still hungry.


----------



## x0emnem0x

AmandaLynn said:


> I ate six slices of pizza and some Halloween candy and I am still hungry.



Story of my life!!


----------



## AmandaLynn

x0emnem0x said:


> Story of my life!!



Something to look forward to then


----------



## Iannathedriveress

AmandaLynn said:


> I ate six slices of pizza and some Halloween candy and I am still hungry.



That's me too


----------



## Leem

Totally agree about the six slices and top it off with some Halloween candy. Especially if it is brick oven pizza:eat2:


----------



## AmandaLynn

Leem said:


> Totally agree about the six slices and top it off with some Halloween candy. Especially if it is brick oven pizza:eat2:




It was from a local place here, not brick oven, but delicious just the same. 

Supplemental confession: I had the remaining two slices later that day. One pizza, one day.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I managed to eat a 16 inch sandwich the other day and my fiance was shocked.


----------



## Leem

I confess that for some odd reason I occasionally crave Kraft Mac n cheese. Now I make a kick ass homemade mac n cheese but some days I just want doctored Kraft. So today I ate the whole box for dinner. :eat1:


----------



## LumpySmile

Leem said:


> I confess that for some odd reason I occasionally crave Kraft Mac n cheese. Now I make a kick ass homemade mac n cheese but some days I just want doctored Kraft. So today I ate the whole box for dinner. :eat1:




I could post that same confession nearly verbatim myself!

Ask Mimosa... She can vouch for my homemade mac and cheese. 

But sometimes right out of the box (with a little shredded cheese added) just hits the spot

EDIT: Sorry, just realized belatedly this was just BBW confessions... I'll go back to my side of the net now.  Forgive the intrusion


----------



## Tracyarts

I confess that I unironically love all of the cheesy monster hunter and UFO genre cable TV shows. It drives my husband up the freaking wall. IDGAF. I just DVR them and watch them while he's at work.


----------



## AmyJo1976

Tracyarts said:


> I confess that I unironically love all of the cheesy monster hunter and UFO genre cable TV shows. It drives my husband up the freaking wall. IDGAF. I just DVR them and watch them while he's at work.


 
Oh, I love those too! When I don't have a particular show to watch, it's always Destination America, or History channel. H2 used to have them on all the time, then they changed it to VICE and it sucks


----------



## Tracii

Love Destination America and America unearthed.
History stuff I love too.
I admit I love Mountain Monsters its fun to watch and I think the chubby guy is cute LOLOL.
Wild Bill reminds me of my first hubby but nicer.


----------



## DianaSSBBW

I came across this and LOVED it! Enjoy!

It reminds me a little of the Billy Joel song - She's Always a Woman
(Here on DIM they used to have a Thread that was only available by invitation under the Super Sig - I really wish it was still around)



There is nothing simple about loving the girl with the guarded heart.


She is not convinced by flowers and fancy dinners, nor won over by compliments and praise. In the beginning she is a slow dance, one step toward you, another step back, as she learns to trust the ways of your heart and the strength of your arms. The dance may be slow but it cannot be rushed, for she will sense the impatience of your steps and the way they fall out of time with hers. Dance with her. Follow the measure of her steps and in time, she will soon look to follow yours.

She will not show you her heart all at once, instead offer you a little at a time, unhurried and watchful of the way you hold each fragile piece. She longs for you to understand how much it takes her to show you these pieces; for you to trace your fingers over the scars left behind from others, to feel the whisper of your breath against her neck as you promise to hold her heart with more care than those who came before. There are parts of her heart that remain unreachable, parts she has buried under layers she will never reveal. Love these parts of her, the parts unseen, the shadows of her soul. For even the sky knows without darkness, the stars cannot adorn us with their light.

She will watch you closer than you realise, listen to every word you speak and weigh it against every action, searching for inconsistencies, seeking the truth of your word and the intention of your heart. Not because she cant trust you, but because she is cautious, alert, wary; the stories of her past still etched upon her mind. She isnt ready to trust her heart with you. Not yet. Not until she knows you are a man of your word, a man of steadfast hands and unchanging ways.

There is a part of her that will always remain a little detached, ready to run if she thinks her heart will get damaged again. She no longer believes in second chances, having used all of them on those undeserving of such grace. To hurt her means to lose her, for she would sooner be alone than risk losing the life she has fought so damn hard to rebuild with her own wearied hands. She isnt there because she needs you. She doesnt need anyone. Shes there because she has chosen you, because she wants you, because she believes you are worth the risk. And all she asks is for you not to prove her wrong in the chance she has taken, for it has cost her more than you know.

She will need more reassurance than most, she will need you to stay present, available, mindful of her scars. She will think too much, talk too little, cry too often, ask too many questions, struggle to rest in your love. She is complex. Complicated. Perplexing. Sometimes difficult.

But beyond her guarded heart lies a soul that contains the wonders of the universe. One that longs to live and love with abandon, that desires connection and intimacy and to be in relationship with someone who sees both her beauty and her scars, and knows how to fall in love with both.

She holds within her a fierce spirit; brave, strong, courageous, unrelenting; yet is also the quiet and the calm, a place to take shelter against the fury of the wind on storm-filled days. She is nurture, she is passion. She is a touch of madness against ordinary skies, a vulnerable heart with a fearless soul, a barefoot warrior who follows no trails but sets her own path.

She is grounded in her truth, accepting of her flaws, far from perfect but closer to real than most. She is wildflowers and ocean currents and meadows that dance upon the breath of summer winds, uncontained in earthly beauty and free in spiritual grace.

Broken, she knows what it means to suffer. But out of the depths of her suffering, she has come to understand love. And her guarded heart waits for the one who understands it too.

No, there may be nothing simple about loving the girl with the guarded heart.

But every day you choose to love her, shell prove to you why shes worth it.

Written by Kathy Parker.


----------



## AmyJo1976

That is beautifully written and so truthfully descriptive! I love it!  I'd rep you for it, but I can't


----------



## DianaSSBBW

I confess that my life "as I have known it" since October 2013 just ended/finished at 7:00 PM today. Happy, sad and scared all mixed-up together, but can't wait for a new adventure.


----------



## AmyJo1976

DianaSSBBW said:


> I confess that my life "as I have known it" since October 2013 just ended/finished at 7:00 PM today. Happy, sad and scared all mixed-up together, but can't wait for a new adventure.


 
What happened? I know that feeling, it's very confusing! I hope the happy outweighs the other two in the end


----------



## AmandaLynn

I ate 12 red velvet cupcakes in one sitting ((( burp! )))


----------



## AuntHen

AmandaLynn said:


> I ate 12 red velvet cupcakes in one sitting ((( burp! )))



We're they regular size or mini?

Now I want cupcakes! :eat1:


----------



## AmandaLynn

They were from Magnolia, so they were at a minimum regular sized. 12 mini's? That's not confession worthy, thats a snack.


----------



## Tracii

Better watch those cup cakes cupcake!!!


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> Better watch those cup cakes cupcake!!!




I watched them disappear.


----------



## Tracii

I'm sure you did chubby.
:bow:


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> I'm sure you did chubby.
> :bow:




Lol, chubby. I confess I may have crossed that threshold already.


----------



## AmandaLynn

I think I'll make another confession. I discovered a small market not too far away from work. I think I am secretly becoming addicted to fresh custard.


----------



## Tracii

Oooo I'll bet your waistline will suffer LOL *poke *


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> Oooo I'll bet your waistline will suffer LOL *poke *




No suffering at all. I rather enjoy it and so does my waist.


----------



## Tracii

We all here enjoy knowing that you enjoy the custard.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Yuuuuum,custard sounds really good!Have to stop for some on the way home from work!


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Yuuuuum,custard sounds really good!Have to stop for some on the way home from work!




Seriously, I love it. It's almost an everyday thing now.


----------



## Tracii

That belly will be rubbing the steering wheel soon if you keep that up.*poke*.


----------



## traceg

Belly rubbing the steering wheel is sexy&#55357;&#56841;


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> That belly will be rubbing the steering wheel soon if you keep that up.*poke*.



Someone's speaking from experience.


----------



## traceg

Lol you will be there with us soon enough ,just keep eating that custard:happy:


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Custard everyday??!!Hmmmm,sounds good to me also!&#127846;


----------



## Tracii

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Custard everyday??!!Hmmmm,sounds good to me also!&#55356;&#57190;



Amanda Lynn is going to wake up one morning and wonder where her massive belly came from.LOLOL


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Custard everyday??!!Hmmmm,sounds good to me also!&#127846;




Well in my case 8 out of the last 10 days. At this point there is no doubt where my belly is coming from. I wouldn't go so far as to call it massive though.


----------



## Tad

AmandaLynn said:


> Well in my case 8 out of the last 10 days. At this point there is no doubt where my belly is coming from. I wouldn't go so far as to call it massive though.



Being somewhat used to the changes, and hanging around here, you wouldn't. 
But would your 18 year old self have called it massive?


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tad said:


> Being somewhat used to the changes, and hanging around here, you wouldn't.
> But would your 18 year old self have called it massive?



That's actually a really interesting question. My 18 year old self probably would have considered anything over a size 14 massive, but also totally attractive. I know, total hypocrite and poser, right? 

While I have always been attracted to heavier women, something of an open secret among my close friends and family for years. I was somewhat ambivalent about my own weight. It's certainly had it's sobering moments. For example; seeing and cringing at pics my cousin tagged me in on Facebook from Spring break where I suddenly had a very apparent beer belly pouring out of my bathing suit. Hopping on the scale and seeing 208 lbs comes to mind, I was almost in tears. 

Since then, my feelings have evolved from a pleasantly passive acceptance, to really comfortable, to a not so subtle enjoyment. These days, I'll eat an entire 10 inch cheesecake in one sitting simply because it's delicious and I really enjoy it. 

I don't if this answers your question, but it's kind of where I am these days.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I know for sure my 18 year old self would not approve.I'm a bit more than 208,actually a lot more but I do like it.Actually,love it.I'd never go back and the hubby wouldn't want that for sure!


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> I know for sure my 18 year old self would not approve.I'm a bit more than 208,actually a lot more but I do like it.Actually,love it.I'd never go back and the hubby wouldn't want that for sure!



I am quite a bit more than 208 at this point. The number 208 sticks out in my mind because its the first time I weighed that I had been over 200 lbs. I was shook! Of course, I haven't been under 200 lbs since either, but it was a moment.


----------



## traceg

*Poke Poke*


----------



## Tracii

Yeah *poke that fat girl belly*


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I think when I started to shop at Lane Bryant,Avenue etc that was when I knew I had crossed the line.Never looked back and I eat what I want.I never deny myself.Lately Reese's have been the craving,especially with the Dairy Queen mix.


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> I think when I started to shop at Lane Bryant,Avenue etc that was when I knew I had crossed the line.Never looked back and I eat what I want.I never deny myself.Lately Reese's have been the craving,especially with the Dairy Queen mix.




I miss DQ! That is the one thing they don't really seem to have here.


----------



## Tracii

DQ Oh my yes!!!!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

DQ is the best,although the custard is beginning to grow on me,or should I say,make me grow!


----------



## Rojodi

Rode past the local DQ today. Parking lot was filled with minivans. Moms having that need for good burgers and soft serve!


----------



## AmandaLynn

Rojodi said:


> Rode past the local DQ today. Parking lot was filled with minivans. Moms having that need for good burgers and soft serve!



I have that need for good burgers and soft serve.


----------



## Rojodi

AmandaLynn said:


> I have that need for good burgers and soft serve.



I was thinking the same thing, but Progeny suggested a local place for dinner
Piggy Fries for him
Disco Fries for me


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

DQ dinner tonite,too much encouragement from the hubby is bad for the figure.Who an I kidding??!!&#128051;


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> DQ dinner tonite,too much encouragement from the hubby is bad for the figure.Who an I kidding??!!&#55357;&#56371;


DQ is always a tasty treat!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I haven't had DQ in ages, I need to head back someday.


----------



## Tracyarts

All this DQ talk has me craving an order of tacos, some jalitos, and an orange julius to go with it. 

*edit* DQ fans who aren't in Texas might not know what jalitos are. They're breaded and deep fried jalapeno strips (think pepper fries) served with jalapeno ranch dipping sauce.


----------



## AmandaLynn

Apparently there is a DQ a block and a half west of Union Square. I will be visiting there at my earliest posdible convenience, like right after work tomorrow. It's a little out of the way, but it's DQ. Now if only I could find a Sonic.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I really need my Blizzard


----------



## Tracii

Butterfinger blizzards are sooo good !!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Ummmmm,Sonic is great also,have not had that in like forever!


----------



## AmandaLynn

Confession of the day! I deliberately planned a pig out session at DQ and executed it to perfection. Mission accomplished! Even brought a second bag home with me for part two later


----------



## LumpySmile

AmandaLynn said:


> Confession of the day! I deliberately planned a pig out session at DQ and executed it to perfection. Mission accomplished! Even brought a second bag home with me for part two later



Awesome :bow:


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Pig out session?I have no clue what you mean...&#128512;


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Pig out session?I have no clue what you mean...&#128512;




A very intentional and deliberate occasion of over indulgence. Not quite a fetish stuffing though, I don' like being uncomfortably full or force fed.


----------



## Tracii

Deliberate?? Really why would you do something like that? LOLOLOL.


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> Deliberate?? Really why would you do something like that? LOLOLOL.



Because it's delicious and I haven't had DQ in probably over a year. Making up for lost time.


----------



## traceg

Lol i think that deserves a *pokepoke*


----------



## Tracii

Oh yes * poke poke* that big fat belly :wubu:


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Nothing wrong with a little over indulgence!A shopping trip for new clothes might be in store for all of us!


----------



## AmandaLynn

BigCutieFleur said:


> Ate too much now I feel so lazy and fat on my couch....feeling like a big bellied porky





* poke poke *


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

PF Chang tonite,lettuce wraps and dumplings for me!


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> PF Chang tonite,lettuce wraps and dumplings for me!




You know how to encourage! I love PF Changs!


----------



## landshark

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> PF Chang tonite,lettuce wraps and dumplings for me!



Fun fact: the gentleman whose initials are the "PF" in PF Changs is a family friend of my wife's father. We had dinner with him in San Francisco a few years ago and my wife couldn't resist: she had to know how they make those lettuce wraps! He just laughed and said, "I'm a businessman not a chef!"


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Those lettuce wraps are just amazing,I don't know how they do it.I've tried to replicate them and not even close.No matter,it's not far for us and well worth it!


----------



## DianaSSBBW

DianaSSBBW said:


> I confess that my life "as I have known it" since October 2013 just ended/finished at 7:00 PM today. Happy, sad and scared all mixed-up together, but can't wait for a new adventure.



I confess that I should of posted an update to the above post. I was "talked into canceling" the move of the store by the management company of the mall. Well, the move, new adventure is now underway!! Happy but scared to death. Please send positive vibes for this new project!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Good luck in you're future endeavors and keep us posted!


----------



## AmandaLynn

DianaSSBBW said:


> I confess that I should of posted an update to the above post. I was "talked into canceling" the move of the store by the management company of the mall. Well, the move, new adventure is now underway!! Happy but scared to death. Please send positive vibes for this new project!




Good luck and strawberry cheesecake Blizzards from DQ!


----------



## AmyJo1976

DianaSSBBW said:


> I confess that I should of posted an update to the above post. I was "talked into canceling" the move of the store by the management company of the mall. Well, the move, new adventure is now underway!! Happy but scared to death. Please send positive vibes for this new project!


Good luck Diana! I hope it all works out for you!


----------



## Tracii

Good vibes on the way Diana !!!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Did someone say strawberry cheesecake blizzards?


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Did someone say strawberry cheesecake blizzards?



Yep, three times in 5 days, lol.


----------



## traceg

Hmmm now i want a blizzard lol or maybe two


----------



## DragonFly

traceg said:


> Hmmm now i want a blizzard lol or maybe two



Haven't seen a Dairy Queen in so long.....my favorite was the Dilly Bar


----------



## traceg

Oh dilly bars were so good


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

My girls love dilly bars! Especially the mint chocolate chip one


----------



## traceg

Lol well they are my favorite too


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Here was last nights indulgence...Rita's ice,so good,they just never have the same flavors all the time! 

View attachment IMG_8110.jpg


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Here was last nights indulgence...Rita's ice,so good,they just never have the same flavors all the time!




That looks incredible!


----------



## traceg

Wow that looks so good !


----------



## AmandaLynn

traceg said:


> Wow that looks so good !



It really does.


----------



## Tracii

I could eat that LOL


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> I could eat that LOL



I am sure!!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

No good for ya!


----------



## DragonFly

I feel like spring is never ever ever ever going to get here. It barely gets out of the 50s much less into the 60s... They are promising 80 degree weather this week. I just don't believe them. It is forever winter


----------



## Tracii

AmandaLynn said:


> I am sure!!



 Look who's talking *poke*


----------



## traceg

I must second that *poke*


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

My confession is this morning my jeans look seriously painted on,time to dig deeper for the fat jeans!


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> My confession is this morning my jeans look seriously painted on,time to dig deeper for the fat jeans!



Awww sounds like someone has enjoyed one DQ Blizzard too many. *poke poke*

Lol, seriously though. That describes like every pair of jeans I currently own.


----------



## Tracii

Lol, seriously though. That describes like every pair of jeans I currently own.[/QUOTE]

That sounds incredibly sexy.:blush:


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> Lol, seriously though. That describes like every pair of jeans I currently own.



That sounds incredibly sexy.:blush:[/QUOTE]

You're going to make me blush if you keep that up.


----------



## traceg

Yes tight jeans on a well rounded lady is super sexy!!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Well the bright side is I have sizes going up to 28,really don't want that to happen again,just every night the ice cream calls...&#128523;


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

AmandaLynn said:


> Awww sounds like someone has enjoyed one DQ Blizzard too many. *poke poke
> 
> You don't even know the half of it,not happening tonite again.Need a break and need to start walking again.


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> AmandaLynn said:
> 
> 
> 
> Awww sounds like someone has enjoyed one DQ Blizzard too many. *poke poke
> 
> You don't even know the half of it,not happening tonite again.Need a break and need to start walking again.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> There is no such thing as too much ice cream
Click to expand...


----------



## Leem

That phrase "too much ice cream" is simply not possible. There is always room for more ice cream. 

I confess that Amanda has inspired me to visit DQ and try the strawberry cheesecake, and I think I might actually be addicted to it. :eat1:


----------



## AmandaLynn

Leem said:


> That phrase "too much ice cream" is simply not possible. There is always room for more ice cream.
> 
> I confess that Amanda has inspired me to visit DQ and try the strawberry cheesecake, and I think I might actually be addicted to it. :eat1:



BBW MeganLynn44DD started it. 

The true question is who will you inspire?


----------



## Tracii

Seems Megan has inspired Amanda to indulge in DQ.
*poke poke*


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Seems like I'm a bit of a trouble maker...&#128513;


----------



## Tracii

I think we all are to some degree.LOLOL.
Or we make it hard on each others waist line talking about food.


----------



## traceg

Tracii said:


> I think we all are to some degree.LOLOL.
> Or we make it hard on each others waist line talking about food.



I think both might be true


----------



## Tracii

Quite possible!
I like pie !!! oops sorry I blurted it out.


----------



## traceg

Tracii said:


> Quite possible!
> I like pie !!! oops sorry I blurted it out.



Lol then we need pie stat!


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Seems like I'm a bit of a trouble maker...&#128513;



No trouble, other than fitting into my clothes. I am enjoying this for the most part.


----------



## Tracii

We are enjoying watching the results on you too.


----------



## Leem

Pie goes with ice cream:eat2: just a thought. It melts on top of a warm crust beautifully. I love pie for breakfast.


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> I think we all are to some degree.LOLOL.
> Or we make it hard on each others waist line talking about food.



You have a waist line? Since when?


----------



## AmandaLynn

Leem said:


> Pie goes with ice cream:eat2: just a thought. It melts on top of a warm crust beautifully. I love pie for breakfast.



LOL, I have started my workday thinking of ice cream and pie.


----------



## Tracii

AmandaLynn said:


> You have a waist line? Since when?



Well I think so.LOLOL


----------



## traceg

Tracii said:


> Well I think so.LOLOL



And its a beautiful one at that


----------



## Tracii

I think Amanda is just jealous


----------



## traceg

Tracii said:


> I think Amanda is just jealous



Totally and she should be


----------



## Tracii

I was teasing about that.


----------



## traceg

Sorry so was i


----------



## Tracii

I do tease a lot and sometimes people take it the wrong way.


----------



## traceg

Life would suck without a little teasing ;. And you have a fantastic sense of humor on here


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I had a waistline at one point,it's been a while


----------



## Tracii

I'm sure you still have one it just might be hard to find LOL


----------



## Leem

My waistline is still there it has simply expanded


----------



## Tracii

I am actually afraid to measure my waist.


----------



## AmandaLynn

I traded my waist line for beer, cake, cheeseburgers, ice cream, more beer, custard, DQ Blizzards, cheesecake, many trays of mac & cheese, and soda. BURP! I am going to get really fat.


----------



## Tracii

I am going to have a swoon fest if you do.


----------



## landshark

May I make a confession on my wife's behalf? She shared this with me just after I got home from work. She has reached her highest weight level again, a marvelous 373 pounds. She said she wants to be smaller but also just loves eating. In the living room there was evidence of her indulging today, too. I assured her that her weight is fine with me. She took me into the bedroom and we "celebrated" her gains. 

You ladies have no idea how badly I hope she flips the switch and decides to love herself at her current weight.


----------



## Leem

It is really hard to just accept yourself when almost everybody and everything is telling you differently. My heart goes out to her as I understand her feelings.


----------



## Tracii

Leem makes a good point and I understand how she feels too.
HM I am so happy for you.
You are a nice guy and know you will handle her with care.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Good for you and also hope she knows how much she is loved.Tough to find a good man like you,I know I adore my hubby.She'll come around I'm sure.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Happy almost Memorial Day everyone!May all stay safe and fun with their loved ones!


----------



## BigElectricKat

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Happy almost Memorial Day everyone!May all stay safe and fun with their loved ones!



Thanks for the well wishes and same for you.


----------



## DianaSSBBW

Sorry for the delay in the reply!!! What a month!! 
Thank you for all the well wishes and positive vibes!!
Store is moved! Survived and opened on Tuesday.
Still have more work, but we are up and running.

Thank you!!


----------



## DianaSSBBW

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Good luck in you're future endeavors and keep us posted!





AmandaLynn said:


> Good luck and strawberry cheesecake Blizzards from DQ!





AmyJo1976 said:


> Good luck Diana! I hope it all works out for you!





Tracii said:


> Good vibes on the way Diana !!!



Sorry for the delay in the reply!!! What a month!! 
Thank you for all the well wishes and positive vibes!!
Store is moved! Survived and opened on Tuesday.
Still have more work, but we are up and running.

Thank you!!

Sorry about double post!! Miss chatting!!


----------



## AmyJo1976

DianaSSBBW said:


> Sorry for the delay in the reply!!! What a month!!
> Thank you for all the well wishes and positive vibes!!
> Store is moved! Survived and opened on Tuesday.
> Still have more work, but we are up and running.
> 
> Thank you!!
> 
> Sorry about double post!! Miss chatting!!


 
That's great news Diana! Hope it all works out!


----------



## Leem

Congrats Diana I hope everything is going perfectly.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Yes good luck,it's never easy to make money with the economy these days,again best of luck!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

My confession today...feeling super sexy,waiting for the hubby to get home and he's in a lot of trouble tonite! 

View attachment IMG_8335.jpg


----------



## AmandaLynn

Wonderful pic!!! DQ belly *poke poke*


----------



## Tracii

OO Did you tell him to rush home ???

Oh yeah *poke poke*


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Home in 15 minutes,he works very hard at what he does,he's in for...


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

And yes a DQ belly and hips for sure...


----------



## Tracii

Here is to a wonderful evening Megan.
Make sure he spanks you soundly for having impure thoughts LOLOL


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Had a great night and the weekend is even better,hope everyone is enjoying!


----------



## AmyJo1976

I think I enjoyed the weekend a little too much last night. Have a splitting headache that I just can't kick  It was a fun night though, lots of good wine and noms


----------



## Tracii

A nice hot bath with eucalyptus oil would fix you all up


----------



## AmyJo1976

Tracii said:


> A nice hot bath with eucalyptus oil would fix you all up


 
Oh, that sounds so relaxing


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

We could all use that!Long hot baths are a speciality of mine!


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> We could all use that!Long hot baths are a speciality of mine!


 
Yes! I am definitely going to have to take that advice tonight


----------



## Tracii

YES a long hot bath fixes just about anything for me.


----------



## AmyJo1976

Tracii said:


> YES a long hot bath fixes just about anything for me.


 
Definitely a life saver Tracii! I slept like a baby, I got up early, but I was ready too! I'm ready for the day to be over now though lol! Thanks for the advice!


----------



## Iannathedriveress

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> My confession today...feeling super sexy,waiting for the hubby to get home and he's in a lot of trouble tonite!




You look gorgeous:smitten:


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Thank you so much!


----------



## Tracii

Awesome AmyJo glad it helped.


----------



## ampleauroradelicatefame

I confess that I'm hungry... haha shocking


----------



## AmyJo1976

ampleauroradelicatefame said:


> I confess that I'm hungry... haha shocking


 
That makes two of us


----------



## AmandaLynn

AmyJo1976 said:


> That makes two of us



Three of us.


----------



## Rojodi

AmandaLynn said:


> Three of us.



Four of us! :doh:


----------



## Tracii

I'm not really hungry but I could eat something.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I'm in diet mode,sorry ladies...&#128533;


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> I'm in diet mode,sorry ladies...&#55357;&#56853;


 
Profanity! lol


----------



## AmandaLynn

AmyJo1976 said:


> Profanity! lol



Exactly meanwhile MeganLynn44DD reintroduced me to DQ.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I'm sorry ladies!I've just got to watch what I eat,I can't gain as much as I did in the past.At my largest,I was almost 300 lbs,can't do it again.


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> I'm sorry ladies!I've just got to watch what I eat,I can't gain as much as I did in the past.At my largest,I was almost 300 lbs,can't do it again.


 
We're just kidding with you girl You do what makes you happy!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Oh I know!I was bad last night and had way too much ice cream!My husband is such a bad influence


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Oh I know!I was bad last night and had way too much ice cream!My husband is such a bad influence


 
Sounds like you have quite a struggle going there


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> I'm in diet mode,sorry ladies...&#65533;&#65533;



You sound like me- constantly struggling with the food love and need to diet.

I'm definitely NOT in diet mode today. A couple of months ago I found what may be the WORLD'S BEST DONUTS in the next county over when I was taking a country ride with my girls. It was a fluke that we even stopped there. (my fiance is a donut lover so I have started paying better attention to them- strange as that may sound...)

My confession? I haven't gotten those fantastic donuts out of my head since then so I got up early this morning and drove all the way to the next county and bought donuts. (I wanted to make sure there was still a good selection left as those bad boys can sell out! )
Yes....I bought twenty four donuts (for everybody of course)...and was willing to make a road trip for them. 
I was just thinking about how I wish they would put one closer to me....but then again, I don't. :doh:


----------



## AmyJo1976

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> You sound like me- constantly struggling with the food love and need to diet.
> 
> I'm definitely NOT in diet mode today. A couple of months ago I found what may be the WORLD'S BEST DONUTS in the next county over when I was taking a country ride with my girls. It was a fluke that we even stopped there. (my fiance is a donut lover so I have started paying better attention to them- strange as that may sound...)
> 
> My confession? I haven't gotten those fantastic donuts out of my head since then so I got up early this morning and drove all the way to the next county and bought donuts. (I wanted to make sure there was still a good selection left as those bad boys can sell out! )
> Yes....I bought twenty four donuts (for everybody of course)...and was willing to make a road trip for them.
> I was just thinking about how I wish they would put one closer to me....but then again, I don't. :doh:


I'm totally addicted to donuts lol! They're the best if you get them when they are still warm, dripping with glaze:eat2:
Oh yeah, I also confess that I'm on my second glass of &#127863;


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

2nd glass of wine here also,it's a struggle for sure.I know my husband loves me as is,and heavier isn't an issue at all.I started to really feel it at almost 300 lbs and lost a significant amount.Now I have been gaining again,and yes on purpose.Just need to slow the roll(and rolls)I guess.I don't have any issue being heavier and have really learned to love it,just want to be around for a while.Ok,off the soapbox now!


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> 2nd glass of wine here also,it's a struggle for sure.I know my husband loves me as is,and heavier isn't an issue at all.I started to really feel it at almost 300 lbs and lost a significant amount.Now I have been gaining again,and yes on purpose.Just need to slow the roll(and rolls)I guess.I don't have any issue being heavier and have really learned to love it,just want to be around for a while.Ok,off the soapbox now!


You know what they say, wine brings out the truth Enjoy girl!


----------



## Tracii

And I said I would never get to 375 again LOLOL


----------



## AmyJo1976

Tracii said:


> And I said I would never get to 375 again LOLOL


 
I think you proved yourself wrong on that one


----------



## AmandaLynn

AmyJo1976 said:


> Sounds like you have quite a struggle going there



My struggle is getting into these shorts!!


----------



## AmyJo1976

AmandaLynn said:


> My struggle is getting into these shorts!!


 
That sounds exausting


----------



## Tracii

I would love to see you get your chubby butt in those shorts :smitten:


----------



## AmandaLynn

AmyJo1976 said:


> That sounds exausting




Very exhausting.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Sounds like a shopping trip is in order


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Sounds like a shopping trip is in order


 
I can't think of a better excuse!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

My husband goes with me when I go shopping,he loves the fashion show,and I try to never disappoint him!


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Sounds like a shopping trip is in order




Definitely, I finish up with school on 6/20, zo plenty of time.


----------



## Tracii

Oooo shopping is always fun.
Be sure to not buy clothes too big *giggle*


----------



## AmyJo1976

Tracii said:


> Oooo shopping is always fun.
> Be sure to not buy clothes too big *giggle*


 
I sense a slight bit of sarcasm there, maybe?


----------



## AppreSheAte

I think I'd love to go shopping if there was a fashion show say showing how things fit 1 or 2 sizes too small, and perhaps 1 or 2 sizes too big. It simply seems incredibly erotic to know that there is more to love - today and, with luck, tomorrow!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I'm sure there was no sarcasm....&#128515;


----------



## Tracii

No sarcasm its just she has such a cute belly it would be a shame not to see it under her clothes.
Hiding it under too big clothing would take all the fun out of it.LOL


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> No sarcasm its just she has such a cute belly it would be a shame not to see it under her clothes.
> Hiding it under too big clothing would take all the fun out of it.LOL



You are going to make me blush again. LOL

There is no hiding this belly these days


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I was being sarcastic!


----------



## Tracii

I think we all have a bit of sarcasm in us. LOLOL


----------



## AmyJo1976

Some more than others it seems like


----------



## Tracii

I agree AmyJo


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

No way!!!!!!


----------



## Tracii

Not us we are angels.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Of course...


----------



## BigElectricKat

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> You sound like me- constantly struggling with the food love and need to diet.
> 
> I'm definitely NOT in diet mode today. A couple of months ago I found what may be the WORLD'S BEST DONUTS in the next county over when I was taking a country ride with my girls. It was a fluke that we even stopped there. (my fiance is a donut lover so I have started paying better attention to them- strange as that may sound...)
> 
> My confession? I haven't gotten those fantastic donuts out of my head since then so I got up early this morning and drove all the way to the next county and bought donuts. (I wanted to make sure there was still a good selection left as those bad boys can sell out! )
> Yes....I bought twenty four donuts (for everybody of course)...and was willing to make a road trip for them.
> I was just thinking about how I wish they would put one closer to me....but then again, I don't. :doh:



I confess that, even though I'm not a choco-holic, I've been eating more since it's the only sweet thing around the office. :doh: This is doing WONDERS for my diabetes.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Monderation is key...so I've been told


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Monderation is key...so I've been told



I am going to moderate myself some DQ tonight.


----------



## AmyJo1976

AmandaLynn said:


> I am going to moderate myself some DQ tonight.


 
lol! Such an instigator


----------



## Tracii

Poor Amanda....That Megan is quite the instigator indeed.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

She is?Nah not her!


----------



## Leem

Can you moderate some DQ for me too Amanda? Some strawberry cheesecake please.


----------



## Tracii

I hope Amanda had a large blizzard of some kind or an ice cream cake.


----------



## BigElectricKat

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Monderation is key...so I've been told



I've certainly heard that moderation is key before. However, in certain circumstances I would guess that it be thrown out the window in favor of gluttony when the situation warrant's itself.:eat2:


----------



## BigElectricKat

AmandaLynn said:


> I am going to moderate myself some DQ tonight.



Pardon me for saying this but, you made me hungry.


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> I hope Amanda had a large blizzard of some kind or an ice cream cake.



I had two Blizzards, one at DQ and one for the eay home.


----------



## AmandaLynn

AmyJo1976 said:


> lol! Such an instigator



As if you need any instigation


----------



## AmyJo1976

AmandaLynn said:


> As if you need any instigation


 
True statement girl


----------



## Tracii

AmandaLynn said:


> As if you need any instigation



Ummm humm 
Go for 3 next time but get fries with that.


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> Ummm humm
> Go for 3 next time but get fries with that.



3 is quite a bit, though I imagine you speak from experience.


----------



## Tracii

LOLOL you are just too funny Amanda.
Your belly could handle 3 I know it could. I would even make sure you would drink all 3.:blush:

Its possible I might have had 3 blizzards before.... well I know I have had 2 large ones in one sitting.


----------



## plushkitty

How do you ladies fit all that in? I'm kind of envious, tbh, I can barely eat one Blizzard.


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> LOLOL you are just too funny Amanda.
> Your belly could handle 3 I know it could. I would even make sure you would drink all 3.:blush:
> 
> Its possible I might have had 3 blizzards before.... well I know I have had 2 large ones in one sitting.



A 3 Blizzard, steering wheel belly! *poke*


----------



## Tracii

You so crazy LOLOL.
It was a lot of work to get that belly


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

And to think,I'm to blame for this madness,DQ may happen tonite


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> And to think,I'm to blame for this madness,DQ may happen tonite


 
Looks like you've been instigated lol!


----------



## BigElectricKat

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> And to think,I'm to blame for this madness,DQ may happen tonite



Is it wrong of me to be getting excited about all of this talk of DQ and ladies enjoying said treats? :eat2:


----------



## Tad

BigElectricKat said:


> Is it wrong of me to be getting excited about all of this talk of DQ and ladies enjoying said treats? :eat2:



No, but it is wrong to post on the bbw board much if you are not one. Sorry, this board is meant to be a place that the women can talk amongst themselves without us guys horning in on the conversation. 

Once in a while chiming in with something like 'did you hear about the flavour of Blizzard that DQ just came out with' will generally slide by, but for the most part try to stay out of the conversation on this one board. Pretty much all the rest are fair game.


----------



## BigElectricKat

Tad said:


> No, but it is wrong to post on the bbw board much if you are not one. Sorry, this board is meant to be a place that the women can talk amongst themselves without us guys horning in on the conversation.
> 
> Once in a while chiming in with something like 'did you hear about the flavour of Blizzard that DQ just came out with' will generally slide by, but for the most part try to stay out of the conversation on this one board. Pretty much all the rest are fair game.



Sorry. I guess I really don't understand this forum much. Far be it from me to overstep my boundaries. You shant hear from me again here. Apologies.


----------



## Tracii

Tad that could have been handled in a PM.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

So ladies,how was the DQ,we never went,stayed home and did other things.


----------



## fritzi

My personal environment has been getting to me lately.

Over the past six months, I've been sick for a good nine weeks. A week before Christmas stomach flu, in January Bronchitis. Before Easter 10 days stomach flu, now 4 weeks of a terrible case of strep throat.

Naturally - if even swallowing a sip of water hurts like hell - I've lost quite some weight. From a size 16/18 down again to 14.

Everybody who sees me says: "You look great, so slim. What have you done, which diet was that?" Or praises my "new exercise program".

When I tell than I've been really sick, they don't react at all, just shrug and say, "You look so well."

How about someone caring that I feel like shit, am totally messed up inside after 4 weeks on anti-biotics???


----------



## Tracii

You poor dear fritzi that sounds awful.
Are you any feeling better now?
I hope so because you have been thru enough already.
Here is a cyber hug for you.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Hopefully you're feeling better,that's what everyone wants is just to be happy and healthy.


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> So ladies,how was the DQ,we never went,stayed home and did other things.



DQ is always lovely.


----------



## Tracii

May have to do DQ on Sunday I have been craving their onion rings.


----------



## plushkitty

I'm so sorry to hear that, fritzi!  I hope you feel better soon.


----------



## fritzi

Tracii, BBWMegan44D & plushkitty - thank you for the kind words and sympathy.

Today's my first day off antibiotics, so things are picking up.

What just got to me is that even long-term friends don't seem to give a shit if you're sick - as long as you lose weight. 
Not exactly a comforting insight.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Sometimes that's all people see,my mom is my biggest critic.As long as I am thin she's happy,well I'm not and never will be.Years ago we used to shop together and as I began to gain it really pissed her off,almost to a point where we didn't speak for a while.We are in a better place these days,but once in a while she throws in a comment.All we can ask is to be happy.


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Sometimes that's all people see,my mom is my biggest critic.As long as I am thin she's happy,well I'm not and never will be.Years ago we used to shop together and as I began to gain it really pissed her off,almost to a point where we didn't speak for a while.We are in a better place these days,but once in a while she throws in a comment.All we can ask is to be happy.


 
I couldn't relate more to that!


----------



## Tracii

My Mom is the worst for saying things that are on her mind and doesn't care who hears it.
My weight is the number one topic either at her house or if we go shopping.
She is from New York City and the more she talks the louder she gets so I have to tell her "the next county over does not need to hear your opinion" so pipe down.
My Daddy is so sweet he just gives me a hug and a kiss and never mentions my weight.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

The way you're dad handles things sounds awesome!We only get two parents so we need to take them for what they are and love em no matter what!Sometimes they don't make things easy though!


----------



## AmandaLynn

My mom will say something once in a while. I don't think it's critical for the sake of being critical. She is a very large woman herself and I think it's more out of concern. My dad has never said a word. My grandmother was rough on me over the holidays though.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

My grandmother has been super supportive about my weight,she's told me if I'm happy than that's all that matters.I agree!


----------



## Tracii

My Mom is just rude by nature she is from NYC and very opinionated.
We can be shopping and she will find something cute and show it to me 5 feet away and say loud enough every one close by can hear her ( imagine a thick New York accent) here.
Ya know deah if youz weren't so fat you could wear something like this.
I usually respond with thanks Mom for telling everyone in the store I'm fat.
If she wants to stop and get something to eat its fun and games too.
We find a table and she says Honey check the chair legs before youz sit down so you can be sure it will hold you. My response is thanks Mom I'm sure the chair will be fine.
I did get her back the other day in the Merle Norman store she loves.
The sales lady I could tell was really put off by my Moms attitude so I said loud enough for the other people in the store to hear.
Mom is it possible you can stop being a bitch to the lady when she trying to help you?
She gave me that look so I think I won that round.
I love my Mom but sometimes she is sooo rude and annoying.
If we lived back in NYC I'm sure no body would pay any attention to her.


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> My Mom is just rude by nature she is from NYC and very opinionated.
> We can be shopping and she will find something cute and show it to me 5 feet away and say loud enough every one close by can hear her ( imagine a thick New York accent) here.
> Ya know deah if youz weren't so fat you could wear something like this.
> I usually respond with thanks Mom for telling everyone in the store I'm fat.
> If she wants to stop and get something to eat its fun and games too.
> We find a table and she says Honey check the chair legs before youz sit down so you can be sure it will hold you. My response is thanks Mom I'm sure the chair will be fine.
> I did get her back the other day in the Merle Norman store she loves.
> The sales lady I could tell was really put off by my Moms attitude so I said loud enough for the other people in the store to hear.
> Mom is it possible you can stop being a bitch to the lady when she trying to help you?
> She gave me that look so I think I won that round.
> I love my Mom but sometimes she is sooo rude and annoying.
> If we lived back in NYC I'm sure no body would pay any attention to her.



I know it's mom, but someone tried to embarrass me like that in public I would just leave them where ever we were and just go.


----------



## Tracii

I have walked to another section of the store before LOLOL


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Agreed,no reason for that stuff in my opinion.I always get the,"I'm just looking out for you're health." Yes I'm healthy and I'm fat,deal with it!


----------



## plushkitty

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Agreed,no reason for that stuff in my opinion.I always get the,"I'm just looking out for you're health." Yes I'm healthy and I'm fat,deal with it!



Ugh, I hate that! My mom always takes that tack when lecturing me. I am a grown-ass lady now, Mom, my health is not your business anymore. That is between me and my doctor.

I usually just tune out in the most blatantly obvious way possible when she starts in. She can talk at me, she can follow me into another room, she can even lecture me while I'm trapped in the car on a long drive. But she can't make me engage.


----------



## AmandaLynn

plushkitty said:


> Ugh, I hate that! My mom always takes that tack when lecturing me. I am a grown-ass lady now, Mom, my health is not your business anymore. That is between me and my doctor.
> 
> I usually just tune out in the most blatantly obvious way possible when she starts in. She can talk at me, she can follow me into another room, she can even lecture me while I'm trapped in the car on a long drive. But she can't make me engage.




More cake please...


----------



## Tracii

I need cake can you fax me some?


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> I need cake can you fax me some?



People still use a fax machine?


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Cake is always a great option,faxing it though?Not sure they still use em often!


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Cake is always a great option,faxing it though?Not sure they still use em often!



Cheesecake. I am having cheesecake as I type this.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Driving to Cheesecake Factory as we speak with some friends,don't stand in the way of cheesecake and a fat girl!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Cheesecake is about to go down! 

View attachment IMG_8547.JPG


----------



## Rojodi

Ladies, don't forget: July 30 is National Cheesecake Day, half price cheesecake at the Factory


----------



## Tracii

I need to mark that on my phone and in my date book.


----------



## AmandaLynn

Rojodi said:


> Ladies, don't forget: July 30 is National Cheesecake Day, half price cheesecake at the Factory




Every day should be National Cheesecake Day.


----------



## Rojodi

AmandaLynn said:


> Every day should be National Cheesecake Day.



That's so true.
But it's special to me: It's also my birthday


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Happy almost Birthday!We can all have some chocolate cheesecake in you're honor!


----------



## Rojodi

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Happy almost Birthday!We can all have some chocolate cheesecake in you're honor!



Thank you.

This is what I usually get 

https://www.thecheesecakefactory.com/menu/desserts/cheesecakes/hersheys-chocolate-bar-cheesecake/


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I've gotten that before,it's fantastic!Great choice!


----------



## AmandaLynn

Confession time: School ended for me on 6/20. All I have done since is eat and go out for drinks at night. If I do not find some structure or moderation in my life soon, I am going to get very very fat.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

This sounds like a wardrobe issue Amanda,I went thru this a while back and feel like I am revisiting.


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> This sounds like a wardrobe issue Amanda,I went thru this a while back and feel like I am revisiting.



I am replacing things little by little.


----------



## Rojodi

AmandaLynn said:


> Confession time: School ended for me on 6/20. All I have done since is eat and go out for drinks at night. If I do not find some structure or moderation in my life soon, I am going to get very very fat.



Shopping for new clothes?

Structure: wake, read, walk...oh I like your days better


----------



## loopytheone

I confess that I hate clothes shopping.

Yesterday I managed to rip a pair of shorts I was trying on. :doh:

And today I tried on every swimsuit in my local area. Every single one of them fit like I was auditioning for Baywatch with my nipples barely covered and my boobs just bouncing around uncovered like stray manatees. The fact that all one piece swimming costumers are 'slimming' or 'sculpting' doesn't help either; I don't want to be forced into the swimming equivalent of spanx for the sake of making my big ass look smaller. Not that it would even fool anyone anyway, just makes the swimming costumes super uncomfortable.

I so wanted the one that said "mermaid on duty" on it but again, I looked like I was about to do a porn video or something, which isn't really the look I am going for on the beach. :doh:


----------



## AmandaLynn

loopytheone said:


> I confess that I hate clothes shopping.
> 
> Yesterday I managed to rip a pair of shorts I was trying on. :doh:
> 
> And today I tried on every swimsuit in my local area. Every single one of them fit like I was auditioning for Baywatch with my nipples barely covered and my boobs just bouncing around uncovered like stray manatees. The fact that all one piece swimming costumers are 'slimming' or 'sculpting' doesn't help either; I don't want to be forced into the swimming equivalent of spanx for the sake of making my big ass look smaller. Not that it would even fool anyone anyway, just makes the swimming costumes super uncomfortable.
> 
> I so wanted the one that said "mermaid on duty" on it but again, I looked like I was about to do a porn video or something, which isn't really the look I am going for on the beach. :doh:



Lol, I totally get it. The perils of swimsuit shopping. I went through the same thing a few weeks ago and then just other's a few cheap ones online. I kept the best one and returned the rest.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Target.com has some nice stuff,I hate going to try on.More comfy trying on at home,rhan returning.


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Target.com has some nice stuff,I hate going to try on.More comfy trying on at home,rhan returning.



I am getting to that point where I am definitely more comfortable trying things on at home. I notice that I am catching the judgement eye of the fitting room attendant lately. I can actually hear her thinking; good luck getting into that outfit tubby.


----------



## Tracii

Cute bathing suits don't seem to come in a beached whale size ! LOL


----------



## plushkitty

loopytheone said:


> I confess that I hate clothes shopping.
> 
> Yesterday I managed to rip a pair of shorts I was trying on. :doh:
> 
> And today I tried on every swimsuit in my local area. Every single one of them fit like I was auditioning for Baywatch with my nipples barely covered and my boobs just bouncing around uncovered like stray manatees. The fact that all one piece swimming costumers are 'slimming' or 'sculpting' doesn't help either; I don't want to be forced into the swimming equivalent of spanx for the sake of making my big ass look smaller. Not that it would even fool anyone anyway, just makes the swimming costumes super uncomfortable.
> 
> I so wanted the one that said "mermaid on duty" on it but again, I looked like I was about to do a porn video or something, which isn't really the look I am going for on the beach. :doh:



Have you tried shopping online? I don't even try looking for swimsuits locally anymore, I just go to the Swimsuits for All website. And not all of them are swim-Spanx, the tankini I got recently has no Spanxness.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Bathing suits,tankini's,bikinis come in ALL sizes.I'm confidant going on the beach at my large size.I love the beach way too much to not go and the hubby always encourages me &#128051;&#128051;&#128051;&#128051;


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Bathing suits,tankini's,bikinis come in ALL sizes.I'm confidant going on the beach at my large size.I love the beach way too much to not go and the hubby always encourages me &#128051;&#128051;&#128051;&#128051;




I am sure that DQ belly looks absolutely delightful in a skimpy bathing suit.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I'd like to think so...&#128051;&#128513;,I know the hubby likes!


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> I'd like to think so...&#55357;&#56371;&#55357;&#56833;,I know the hubby likes!


 
If the hubby likes, then strut your stuff girl!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

We all should,I've had my moments as we all have had."Oh my god,I'm so fat!"My husband loves me and tells me all the time.If he does than why shouldn't I love myself!Its obvious I'm having a great day today and loving my outfit today!


----------



## Fantasist

plushkitty said:


> Have you tried shopping online? I don't even try looking for swimsuits locally anymore, I just go to the Swimsuits for All website. And not all of them are swim-Spanx, the tankini I got recently has no Spanxness.



I have heard good things about swimsuits for all. I saw this video on YouTube by Cora (vintageortacky) doing a plus size swimsuit try on for them. https://youtu.be/cIFNz-pPGyg
It got me to check out the site, and they have some cute stuff. Seriously considering some shopping.


----------



## Tracii

Keep your man happy Megan nothing wrong with that!!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I sure try,we spent the day out today and had Ben and Jerry's,didn't know they had ice cream shops,this may turn out to be really bad.


----------



## Tracii

Oh no LOLOLOL
If I get in an ice cream mode it may last 2 or 3 months and extra weight is soon to follow.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

That sounds very,very familiar.I see a pattern...&#127846;


----------



## Rojodi

Second half of an Italian sub: Pepperoni, two types of salami, ham and capicola, provolone, spinach, tomatoes, and banana peppers.

I want ice cream!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

That sounds so good!


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> That sounds very,very familiar.I see a pattern...&#127846;



Story of my life.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Well hopefully you have someone who appreciates you're well rounded figure like I do!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Like I have!


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Well hopefully you have someone who appreciates you're well rounded figure like I do!


 


BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Like I have!


 
Afraid that was going to be taken the wrong way? lol!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Possibly....!&#9786;&#65039;


----------



## AmandaLynn

That was wonderful. Now for some ice cream.


----------



## AmyJo1976

AmandaLynn said:


> That was wonderful. Now for some ice cream.


 
Ice cream sounds like a wonderful idea right now!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I had my daily intake of ice cream,hubby took me to Friendly's for a sundae.In the menu the calories are listed,of course he choose the most fattening for me.I think I've caught on to him!


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> I had my daily intake of ice cream,hubby took me to Friendly's for a sundae.In the menu the calories are listed,of course he choose the most fattening for me.I think I've caught on to him!




Good man! Clearly the diet is over!


----------



## AmandaLynn

AmyJo1976 said:


> Ice cream sounds like a wonderful idea right now!




It was exceptional.


----------



## Tracii

My confession for this evening: I bought a Sara Lee pound cake for this weekend but I just sat here and ate the entire thing with cool whip and strawberries.


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> My confession for this evening: I bought a Sara Lee pound cake for this weekend but I just sat here and ate the entire thing with cool whip and strawberries.



Making me hungry, but I don't want to go out.


----------



## Tracii

Maybe I should have fed it to you Amanda


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> Maybe I should have fed it to you Amanda



Yes really.... next time think of others.


----------



## Tracii

I have to admit feeding you would be exciting.


----------



## Rojodi

We need an evil grin emoji!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

You two need a room!


----------



## loopytheone

I found a super cute swimming costume online and it fits and I feel so happy! 

I've never bought clothes online before but it is so cute! Here's pictures from all angles! 

View attachment Picture 504.jpg


View attachment Picture 505.jpg


View attachment Picture 506.jpg


----------



## AmyJo1976

loopytheone said:


> I found a super cute swimming costume online and it fits and I feel so happy!
> 
> I've never bought clothes online before but it is so cute! Here's pictures from all angles!


 
You look gorgeous in that!


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> I have to admit feeding you would be exciting.



And expensive!


----------



## AmandaLynn

loopytheone said:


> I found a super cute swimming costume online and it fits and I feel so happy!
> 
> I've never bought clothes online before but it is so cute! Here's pictures from all angles!



That is super cute! Very nice!


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> You two need a room!



And plenty of dessert!


----------



## AmyJo1976

Lot of confessions coming out in here today lol!


----------



## AmandaLynn

AmyJo1976 said:


> Lot of confessions coming out in here today lol!



No confessions.... yet!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Really cute bathing suit,where did you get it from?Always looking for something with good support for the "girls"


----------



## Tracii

Can't lose when the outfit or suit has polka dots. Very classy Loopy


----------



## plushkitty

loopytheone said:


> I found a super cute swimming costume online and it fits and I feel so happy!
> 
> I've never bought clothes online before but it is so cute! Here's pictures from all angles!



Yay, I'm so glad you found a swimsuit you like! It's super cute.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

It really is like a winning lottery ticket when you find something that fits and looks super cute.Also when you're told by the hubby you look great in it!Winning!


----------



## DragonFly

Hello my name is DF and I am addicted to Sephora....damn them and their sparkly glittery things....


----------



## AmandaLynn

DragonFly said:


> Hello my name is DF and I am addicted to Sephora....damn them and their sparkly glittery things....



I'm a MAC girl myself.


----------



## agouderia

loopytheone said:


> I found a super cute swimming costume online and it fits and I feel so happy!
> 
> I've never bought clothes online before but it is so cute! Here's pictures from all angles!



Very cute and well fitting Loopy! 
Did you shop at Esther Williams' ?? 





DragonFly said:


> Hello my name is DF and I am addicted to Sephora....damn them and their sparkly glittery things....



Same here. In my tireless quest for best deals in international comparative shopping I finally have found a Sephora that offers all of their products & brands regularly with up to 80% off. That saved me - and teaches lessons in delayed gratification - because the incentive is high enough for me to wait until getting back there.


----------



## loopytheone

AmyJo1976 said:


> You look gorgeous in that!





AmandaLynn said:


> That is super cute! Very nice!





Tracii said:


> Can't lose when the outfit or suit has polka dots. Very classy Loopy





plushkitty said:


> Yay, I'm so glad you found a swimsuit you like! It's super cute.





agouderia said:


> Very cute and well fitting Loopy!
> Did you shop at Esther Williams' ??



Thank you very much ladies! =D I'm super excited to go to the beach now!



BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Really cute bathing suit,where did you get it from?Always looking for something with good support for the "girls"



I just got it from amazon, to be honest! Always a gamble buying clothing off there, but I figured that if it didn't fit or was awful, I would just wear a vest and swim trunks into the sea!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

My confession for today??Feeling super cute today in a tank top the hubby bought me last night!Oh yeah,and we went for ice cream! 

View attachment IMG_8767.jpg


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> My confession for today??Feeling super cute today in a tank top the hubby bought me last night!Oh yeah,and we went for ice cream!


 
You are super cute!!


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> My confession for today??Feeling super cute today in a tank top the hubby bought me last night!Oh yeah,and we went for ice cream!



Definitely super cute. *poke*


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Thanks so much ladies,seriously blushing!&#9786;&#65039;


----------



## Tracii

I agree Awesome !!!
Oh yeah *poke poke*.


----------



## AppreSheAte

you look super cute to me too

ahhhh, I mean, your husband is a lucky guy!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Thank you so much for the confidence boosts,means the world to me.Sometimes I feel really fantastic,yesterday had a rough day at work so I needed the pick me up.


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Thank you so much for the confidence boosts,means the world to me.Sometimes I feel really fantastic,yesterday had a rough day at work so I needed the pick me up.


 
You are fantastic! Strut your stuff girl, you should be proud


----------



## AmandaLynn

Confession time; while relaxing and watching TV, I just finished an entire 10" inch strawberry cheesecake.


----------



## Tracii

AmandaLynn said:


> Confession time; while relaxing and watching TV, I just finished an entire 10" inch strawberry cheesecake.



*poke oink poke*


----------



## Tracii

Did you eat all the crumbs too?


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> Did you eat all the crumbs too?



Of course, it was that delicious.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

That sounds like tummy ache time!


----------



## Tracii

Good I'm glad you ate every bit of it.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I think you've just taken the lead in the race to 300,a lead I gladly give up AmandaLynn.I need to slow the pace a bit.


----------



## AmandaLynn

I am well on my way, just pretty much enjoying the ride.


----------



## loopytheone

I have found our one true love in the world, ladies!  

View attachment frog ice cream.jpg


----------



## DragonFly

Loopy, dip that bad boy into chocolate please!!


----------



## AmyJo1976

DragonFly said:


> Loopy, dip that bad boy into chocolate please!!


 
Ooh! One thing I truly love from DQ is the vanilla cones dipped in hard shell chocolate! I used to get so excited for them when I was a kid


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Those cones are really good,the hard shell chocolate is to die for!That may be on the desert menu tonite!


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Those cones are really good,the hard shell chocolate is to die for!That may be on the desert menu tonite!


 
Look what I've gone and done now lol!


----------



## AmandaLynn

loopytheone said:


> I have found our one true love in the world, ladies!




Completely adorable!


----------



## Tracii

Loopy and her ice cream cone man.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

That size ice cream cone would put us all over the top!


----------



## loopytheone

DragonFly said:


> Loopy, dip that bad boy into chocolate please!!





AmandaLynn said:


> Completely adorable!





Tracii said:


> Loopy and her ice cream cone man.





BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> That size ice cream cone would put us all over the top!



Hehehe, glad you approve, ladies! :eat2:


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> That size ice cream cone would put us all over the top!



I thought you were saying no to ice cream these days? *poke*


----------



## Rojodi

All of the sudden, I want ice cream


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I fell off the wagon a bit,Friendly's was the guilty pleasure last night,they actually put the calorie intake next to the sundae.Not good at all ladies.Well,maybe somewhat good...


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> I fell off the wagon a bit,Friendly's was the guilty pleasure last night,they actually put the calorie intake next to the sundae.Not good at all ladies.Well,maybe somewhat good...



Very good!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Shopping trip to the outlets today with the hubby,and I believe and nice dinner from what I've been told this morning!


----------



## Tracii

Nice buy us something nice please.
Oh @ don't forget the ice cream for later.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Well the dinner was a success,shopping...I found nothing l liked.Maybe this weekend,not sure.Thanks for the encouragement Tracii!


----------



## plushkitty

Went out on a first-meeting-with-internet-guy date tonight to a local ice cream parlor! Yum yum, good company and delicious insanely rich ice cream. Two big scoops of course... if I hadn't just had pizza for dinner I might have gone for three.


----------



## AmandaLynn

plushkitty said:


> Went out on a first-meeting-with-internet-guy date tonight to a local ice cream parlor! Yum yum, good company and delicious insanely rich ice cream. Two big scoops of course... if I hadn't just had pizza for dinner I might have gone for three.



I would have gone theirs scoop, you know, just because.


----------



## Tracii

I hope your date was fun PK ice cream always makes a date better.

Megan if you didn't find anything thats OK.
Just want to make sure you keep your belly full LOL


----------



## AmyJo1976

plushkitty said:


> Went out on a first-meeting-with-internet-guy date tonight to a local ice cream parlor! Yum yum, good company and delicious insanely rich ice cream. Two big scoops of course... if I hadn't just had pizza for dinner I might have gone for three.



Good for you! I hope you had a nice time


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Hope for a second date?


----------



## plushkitty

It was indeed a nice time! He seems to be a sweet guy who likes music, food, and fat women. (Mom: "Oh, it's so nice that he can see past your size to the wonderful person inside!" Me: *internally laughing my head off*) We're talking about going to a local donut shop that is legendary for amazing fresh late-night donuts next. 

Amanda, I would have gone for a three or four scoop sundae at any other ice cream place. But seriously, the ice cream here is so incredibly rich and dense that I wasn't sure I could handle more than two scoops right after pizza! Tried to hold back at dinner to leave room... but pizza.


----------



## AmandaLynn

plushkitty said:


> Tried to hold back at dinner to leave room... but pizza.



God, I know that feeling, it's like the story of my life since I've been in NYC.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Than slow down or face busting out of you're jeans like I did today!Time to dig thru the closet and bring out the fat(fatter)pants


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Than slow down or face busting out of you're jeans like I did today!Time to dig thru the closet and bring out the fat(fatter)pants




*poke poke poke* Triple poke worthy!

So adorable! Hopefully you were discrete about it.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Ran home lunchtime and grabbed stretch pants,no one saw thank god.Hubby saw them in the trash and just got lots of hugs.


----------



## Allie Cat

I must say I love the way this thread is going.


----------



## AmyJo1976

Leishycat said:


> I must say I love the way this thread is going.


 Well, join in the fun then Leishy


----------



## Allie Cat

Well, I haven't been on any dates recently.. But after I went to bed the other day my wife was cuddling me and grabbed my belly and was like 'I think you've gotten bigger!' I was like 'nooo I haven't'... but I think I might have. :blush:


----------



## AmyJo1976

Leishycat said:


> Well, I haven't been on any dates recently.. But after I went to bed the other day my wife was cuddling me and grabbed my belly and was like 'I think you've gotten bigger!' I was like 'nooo I haven't'... but I think I might have. :blush:


 That's probably a good indication that you have


----------



## Allie Cat

AmyJo1976 said:


> That's probably a good indication that you have



Oh noooo :blush:


----------



## AmyJo1976

Leishycat said:


> Oh noooo :blush:


 Don't worry, your secret is safe here


----------



## Allie Cat

It just feels too good  Can't let it go


----------



## loopytheone

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Than slow down or face busting out of you're jeans like I did today!Time to dig thru the closet and bring out the fat(fatter)pants



I'm kinda curious what you mean by bursting out? Thankfully for me I've never had wardrobe malfunctions aside from the dreaded rub-holes-between-thighs and the odd escaping boob!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Ripped the seam in the jeans,right in the rear end.No one saw thank god!


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Ripped the seam in the jeans,right in the rear end.No one saw thank god!


 Had that happen a few times


----------



## plushkitty

Only reason I've never split a pants seam is because my thunder thighs shred the fabric on my inner thighs first! Many, many pairs of pants, shorts, and capris have been lost to thigh holes when they are still otherwise intact and at least sort of fit.


----------



## AmyJo1976

plushkitty said:


> Only reason I've never split a pants seam is because my thunder thighs shred the fabric on my inner thighs first! Many, many pairs of pants, shorts, and capris have been lost to thigh holes when they are still otherwise intact and at least sort of fit.


 Well, something has to give you a good excuse to buy new ones right?


----------



## AmyJo1976

Leishycat said:


> It just feels too good  Can't let it go


I figured that was the case


----------



## Tracii

I think the cat is out of the bag Leishycat.
Its OK if you are fat we won't tell anyone.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

My confession today is(I think this is what this is for)I hate my job.I work in retail management and just can't stand some of the regional people.Nothing everything is by the.book people!Sometimes,things don't go according to plan and it's call improvise!


----------



## Tracii

Megan regional supervisors have to play by the book and they have to follow protocol.
Plus they are ass kissers to middle management.
Of course these people would be out of their element if they actually had to perform the duties of the sales staff in daily situations.
I dealt with those types when I worked in an optician's lab.
I did sales, frame fittings and lens grinding in the lab.
The regional supervisor lady had a hard time with me because I told her she had no idea how to run a store or a lab and maybe she needed to work at an Arby's.
The vision specialists I worked with were really nice and very very good at their job and they backed me up.LOLOL
The lady knew how to train people but actually able to perform the job I doubt it.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

For the most part I do enjoy my job,just one of those days I guess...


----------



## DragonFly

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> For the most part I do enjoy my job,just one of those days I guess...



In my long career (I am freaking OLD), I have been on both sides of the war. Frontline supervisor, middle management, general manager and VP with multiple location responsibilities. Not in retail but in a pretty people heavy environment. I am so sorry you are having those struggles. I found that at every level at every stop on my journey, there was alway contrary instructions and people asking the impossible. It seems that is some sort of natural business plan. Everyone gets screwed and not in the fun neked way. 

Big hugs


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> For the most part I do enjoy my job,just one of those days I guess...


 Everyone has bad days at work. Favorite thing about my job is that I have absolutely no responsibility lol! I just sit and color until time to go home and I don't have to take anything with me


----------



## AmandaLynn

The food coma is becoming a habit.


----------



## AmyJo1976

AmandaLynn said:


> The food coma is becoming a habit.


 And just like that, we're back on food again lol! Love you Amanda


----------



## Tracii

That sounds wonderful Amanda you could stand to gain a few pounds LOLOLOL.


----------



## AmyJo1976

Tracii said:


> That sounds wonderful Amanda you could stand to gain a few pounds LOLOLOL.


 Sounds like she's workin on it


----------



## Tracii

I know she is a little eating machine it sounds like.LOLOLOL


----------



## AmandaLynn

LOL, Burp!!!


----------



## Tracii

poke poke.


----------



## Stuffingkit

I confess: I really really want a massive belly. I've always been into weight gain, but lately I really want it ALL to go to my big belly!


----------



## Tracii

Kit I wanted a huge belly too but just kept getting wider which was OK but none went to my belly.
After losing weight for ankle surgery and then over a few years of re gaining the weight it all went to my belly.
Now its the huge hanging belly I always dreamed of having. I'ts always in the way and jiggles when I walk and I love it !


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> Kit I wanted a huge belly too but just kept getting wider which was OK but none went to my belly.
> After losing weight for ankle surgery and then over a few years of re gaining the weight it all went to my belly.
> Now its the huge hanging belly I always dreamed of having. I'ts always in the way and jiggles when I walk and I love it !



You forgot the massive amounts of DQ!


----------



## cinnamitch

I guess this stopped being a protected space for BBW to talk about issues and concerns . Seems to be an extension of the weight or food forum. Not many places here left for many of us. Oh well it was fun while it lasted.


----------



## Tracii

CM Go back to the political thread area if you feel like trolling.

Yes Amanda thats true but that is Megan's fault LOLOL


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> CM Go back to the political thread area if you feel like trolling.
> 
> Yes Amanda thats true but that is Megan's fault LOLOL



Did we just get admonished by someone who hasn't posted in 5 months? Wow. Sounds like someone needs a Twinkie or two.


----------



## Tracii

Oh now Twinkies sound good, why did you have to say Twinkies??
I need dish soap anyway so I may have to go to the store and get some Twinkies.LOLOL


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Now,now ladies we don't need to argue.Enough of that going on lately in the world.Twinkies?Haven't had those in like forever.


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Now,now ladies we don't need to argue.Enough of that going on lately in the world.Twinkies?Haven't had those in like forever.



Clearly you need Twinkies as well! If only to refresh your memory as to how delicious they actually are.


----------



## Tracii

I did get my dish soap and Twinkies Amanda plus a bunch of other stuff that looked yummy.I guess I shouldn't have but I couldn't help it.

My confession for the day is I worked from home today and have grazed all day and my belly is soo full it hurts and I want to lay down. But now its just about dinner time and have all kinds of left overs that need to get used up.
OMG *burp *.


----------



## Am Jim

Sorry, I know this area is really for the gals here but reading about the twinkies I just had to mention have you seen all of the new flavors of twinkies?


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Have not seen any others flavors.Grazing?Yeah,that's happened in my home a few times when working from home.Hey what happened to all those chips?The bag is empty!


----------



## Tracii

I have seen some different flavors but never tried them.


----------



## AndSoItGoes

cinnamitch said:


> I guess this stopped being a protected space for BBW to talk about issues and concerns . Seems to be an extension of the weight or food forum. Not many places here left for many of us. Oh well it was fun while it lasted.


 
The number of men in here is crazy. I came back after a long absence. Gross.


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Have not seen any others flavors.Grazing?Yeah,that's happened in my home a few times when working from home.Hey what happened to all those chips?The bag is empty!


 I so know how that is lol!


----------



## AmandaLynn

AmyJo1976 said:


> I so know how that is lol!



It's so enjoyable though.


----------



## DragonFly

AndSoItGoes said:


> The number of men in here is crazy. I came back after a long absence. Gross.




Wow... sorry to hear you feel that way. The board is for BBW issues but does not exclude supporters. If you read the intro to the board it explains what the rules are.


----------



## AmyJo1976

AndSoItGoes said:


> The number of men in here is crazy. I came back after a long absence. Gross.


 Hmmm... Never posted in here, at least under this handle, but wants to make negative comments?


----------



## Tracii

Its always guys posting negative comments too.
Its like their sensitive egos aren't getting stroked in here and they are hurt.


----------



## DragonFly

If someone has a topic they want to discuss as a bbw only topic please start one. Just indicate kindly that you are looking for bbw only input.Give me a pm and I will help moderate it. With a general thread like this it really is a casual exchange. I'm enjoying the banter and the ladies here are very welcoming.


----------



## AmandaLynn

DragonFly said:


> If someone has a topic they want to discuss as a bbw only topic please start one. Just indicate kindly that you are looking for bbw only input.Give me a pm and I will help moderate it. With a general thread like this it really is a casual exchange. I'm enjoying the banter and the ladies here are very welcoming.



And we love to eat!! Especially Tracii *poke*


----------



## AmyJo1976

DragonFly said:


> If someone has a topic they want to discuss as a bbw only topic please start one. Just indicate kindly that you are looking for bbw only input.Give me a pm and I will help moderate it. With a general thread like this it really is a casual exchange. I'm enjoying the banter and the ladies here are very welcoming.


 Totally agree with this


----------



## Tracii

Yep I agree too.

Amanda you like to eat too and it shows. *poke poke". LOLOL


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I believe on all of us it shows...&#128051;


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Confession for today,had a great weekend with the hubby at the beach,and ate out last night and had way too much.


----------



## Tracii

The beach sounds great Megan.
My confession for this week is I ran into an old male friend and he has put on so much weight I was shocked LOLOL.
I mean he was fat before but OMG he is massive now.
His wife is totally gorgeous and slightly chubby so the crux of my confession is I would love to do a 3 way with them :smitten:.
I'm more into girls but he is a hottie too and exploring both of them would be awesome.
I feel soo naughty right now admitting that secret.LOLOL


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Confession for today,had a great weekend with the hubby at the beach,and ate out last night and had way too much.




Way too much? No such thing, too much maybe, but not way too much.


----------



## DragonFly

This week was get my hair done week... It makes me spoiled. I need to find a way to have my hair done.. daily - I now know why getting a "blow out" is a thing. It is an addictive thing..... And I confess I love my purple hair.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

My "confessions" are tame compared to you ladies.Sorry but I only go one way!


----------



## biggirlluvher

Tracii said:


> The beach sounds great Megan.
> My confession for this week is I ran into an old male friend and he has put on so much weight I was shocked LOLOL.
> I mean he was fat before but OMG he is massive now.
> His wife is totally gorgeous and slightly chubby so the crux of my confession is I would love to do a 3 way with them :smitten:.
> I'm more into girls but he is a hottie too and exploring both of them would be awesome.
> I feel soo naughty right now admitting that secret.LOLOL



Did you give off those vibes of wanting him in front of his wife?


----------



## Tracii

Oh my no no no no.
That would be wrong of me to do that.
It was more of a fantasy really I would be too embarrassed to even ask.


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> Yep I agree too.
> 
> Amanda you like to eat too and it shows. *poke poke". LOLOL



I love to eat


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

A very common theme for all of us!


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> A very common theme for all of us!


 It would seem that way


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

My confession is I think my husband is trying to make me blow up like the Goodyear blimp.All weekend,"Here hon,try this!"Hey babe,have a bit more!"He really is so good to me.I just can't help myself sometimes.I joined a dance class to help counteract his plan.Really like where I am now,just not much more or the knees start to hurt.


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> My confession is I think my husband is trying to make me blow up like the Goodyear blimp.All weekend,"Here hon,try this!"Hey babe,have a bit more!"He really is so good to me.I just can't help myself sometimes.I joined a dance class to help counteract his plan.Really like where I am now,just not much more or the knees start to hurt.


That sounds like a good scenario for the old rock and a hard place saying lol!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Yeah a bit,he always says to me that he knows he's odd and weird.I tell him that he's awesome and I love him for his weirdness!He really is my best friend also.


----------



## Tracii

You really are lucky you two are together Megan


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Yes,I feel like the lucky one.Knew him when we were in high school and starting talking again years later on MySpace.Who knew?Thanks Tracii.Everyone deserves to be happy in my book.


----------



## Tracii

YW Megan.
Having that perfect one is a blessing.
Not everybody gets that.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Just when you least suspect it,boom!It happens,as my hubby says,"Lightning can strike anywhere,just can't be waiting for it."


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Just when you least suspect it,boom!It happens,as my hubby says,"Lightning can strike anywhere,just can't be waiting for it."


 True statement!


----------



## DragonFly

Have guests over this weekend. My current place is about an hour from NYC so convient for then to come down in Friday night spend Saturday in the city and we have a nice dinner and chat in the evening.... this time dinner was the largest lasagna I have seen in a really long time. There is so much leftover it is ridiculous. I think it is calling my name as I type this.....


----------



## AmyJo1976

DragonFly said:


> Have guests over this weekend. My current place is about an hour from NYC so convient for then to come down in Friday night spend Saturday in the city and we have a nice dinner and chat in the evening.... this time dinner was the largest lasagna I have seen in a really long time. There is so much leftover it is ridiculous. I think it is calling my name as I type this.....


 Ooh! That sounds really good! Hope you had a good time


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Left over Lasanga is the best!Usually that does not happen in my house


----------



## AmyJo1976

I confess that I called into work today because I was just way too lazy to get out of bed this morning lol!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I did last week!Just was not feeling it,lounged and grazed all day as the hubby would say.


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> I did last week!Just was not feeling it,lounged and grazed all day as the hubby would say.


 Oh yeah, there was plenty of that going on lol! Back to work today though


----------



## JaceyJensen

I confess I miss being my former self!! Miss the playfull phatty everyone knows and loves. Been a few years.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Yeah,work calls and have to pay those things that show up every month called bills.Although a day of here and there is always needed!Especially when I can do some munching...


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Yeah,work calls and have to pay those things that show up every month called bills.Although a day of here and there is always needed!Especially when I can do some munching...


 
I totally agree, a lazy day with good eats is a must from time to time


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Lazy weekend so far,hung on the beach for a while today and seafood tonite.Maybe the hubby gets lucky also!!!


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Lazy weekend so far,hung on the beach for a while today and seafood tonite.Maybe the hubby gets lucky also!!!


 Sounds like a perfect end to the night!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

It sure was!&#10084;&#65039;&#10084;&#65039;&#10084;&#65039;&#10084;&#65039;


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> It sure was!&#10084;&#65039;&#10084;&#65039;&#10084;&#65039;&#10084;&#65039;





Wow!!   

I haven't confessed in a while. I love to pig out under the guise of a football game day.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Been quite a bit of "confessing" for me AmandaLynn.My waist and hips show it.


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Been quite a bit of "confessing" for me AmandaLynn.My waist and hips show it.




I am sure it looks great on you. Especially that new bit of belly your jeans can't accommodate.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Closet trip for sure,serious muffintop and time for leggings.


----------



## Tracii

Make sure those leggings are big enough LOLOL


----------



## Cynthia

I confess that I _loathe_ it when people call me ma'am. I know it's a term of respect (which perhaps I deserve at 52), but it makes me feel ancient and matronly.


----------



## Tracyarts

I confess that perimenopause is kicking my ass.


----------



## DragonFly

Cynthia said:


> I confess that I _loathe_ it when people call me ma'am. I know it's a term of respect (which perhaps I deserve at 52), but it makes me feel ancient and matronly.



I spent most of my life in the SE US and ma'am and sir are an ingrained part of my vocabulary. I never mean it any negative way. Totally out of respect. I will use it with anyone young or old when we are interacting. Now they are calling you old when they refer to you as Miss and your first name....... that's when I feel old as dirt.


----------



## DragonFly

I I think I might have forgotten how to sleep I seem to have my days and nights upside down. And TV sucks and that all the night.


----------



## AmyJo1976

DragonFly said:


> I I think I might have forgotten how to sleep I seem to have my days and nights upside down. And TV sucks and that all the night.


 That happens to me if I stay up late too much lol!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I confess that I'm starting to snore,hubby recorded me and yes,he was correct.Damn that man sometimes.


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> I confess that I'm starting to snore,hubby recorded me and yes,he was correct.Damn that man sometimes.


 LMAO! Who does that? It is funny though


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Idk,maybe I have all along.Hes just telling me know so I kinda feel bad.


----------



## Tracii

I don't mind being called ma'am at all.
I have to giggle when I get called Miss or young lady because its obvious they need glasses.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Oh cmon Tracii you're on you're 27th birthday like all of us!


----------



## Tracii

Oh yeah Megan thats right thanks for reminding me.


----------



## AuntHen

I just had my 25th recently


----------



## loopytheone

I'm 27, was born in 1990.


----------



## Iannathedriveress

I'm craving some Thai Food.


----------



## AmyJo1976

Iannathedriveress said:


> I'm craving some Thai Food.


 Well, go get you some Thai food girl lol!


----------



## AuntHen

Iannathedriveress said:


> I'm craving some Thai Food.



You made me crave Thai, so I bought the ingredients to make Panang curry tonight.


----------



## Tracii

Went to a local buffet place tonight.
It was really good too.
Ate way too much but everything was sooo good it was hard to stop eating.
I haven't eaten to the point of being unable to move in a long time.
It was a glorious feeling.


----------



## AmyJo1976

Tracii said:


> Went to a local buffet place tonight.
> It was really good too.
> Ate way too much but everything was sooo good it was hard to stop eating.
> I haven't eaten to the point of being unable to move in a long time.
> It was a glorious feeling.


 Sounds like a great night! Did you go with friends?


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Sounds like lots of fun.My hubby would approve of this.


----------



## Tracii

All by myself AmyJo.
If I had been with friends I wouldn't have eaten so much LOL
Everything was so good I just couldn't help myself and didn't care if others thought I was a pig.
The pies were so good so I had to try more than one kind.
It got to the point I was getting light headed I was so stuffed.
Like I said I haven't been that stuffed in a long time.


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> Went to a local buffet place tonight.
> It was really good too.
> Ate way too much but everything was sooo good it was hard to stop eating.
> I haven't eaten to the point of being unable to move in a long time.
> It was a glorious feeling.



*poke poke*


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

My confession for the day is I faked being ill and took a half day.Is this wrong??!!


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> My confession for the day is I faked being ill and took a half day.Is this wrong??!!


 Only if it makes you feel guilty


----------



## Tracii

Thanks for the *poke* Amanda


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Nope,not one bit!


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> Thanks for the *poke* Amanda



Always dear.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

My confession for today,went food shopping today and bought ice cream.Way to much ice cream.4 gallon containers and I think its time to relax,put my feet up and enjoy some!


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> My confession for today,went food shopping today and bought ice cream.Way to much ice cream.4 gallon containers and I think its time to relax,put my feet up and enjoy some!



Need help?


----------



## Tracii

I think Megan did it on purpose.


----------



## AmyJo1976

It sounds like it


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I just couldnt resist ladies


----------



## Tracii

Have you eaten it all yet ?


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

No not yet Tracii,pacing myself


----------



## Tracii

Ummm OK like we really believe that 
You know you are a bad role model for the rest of us just sayin GF


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Oh please!Well,ok.I just love my ice cream.It should be fine by tomorrow after work.Hubby is just loving this.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Gone by tomorrow I meant!


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Gone by tomorrow I meant!



*poke poke poke* ice cream belly.


----------



## Tracii

Bet her belly has gotten bigger from all that ice cream


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Hips and belly is where I gain,then the ta tas,and those are big enough!


----------



## AmyJo1976

I confess that I'm really buzzed and it's really early


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Now now,ladies never do this...well maybe we do and have done!Have fun and be safe!


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Now now,ladies never do this...well maybe we do and have done!Have fun and be safe!


 
lol! yes mother


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Haha,Im sorry


----------



## DragonFly

I think my life is missing cookie dough. Is it a food group?


----------



## AmandaLynn

DragonFly said:


> I think my life is missing cookie dough. Is it a food group?





I t probably is. *poke*


----------



## AmyJo1976

DragonFly said:


> I think my life is missing cookie dough. Is it a food group?


 Definitely is!


----------



## BurgerMePlease

I confess that even though my roof is leaking and I have to save money to get it fixed, I'm still going to order this blazer: 

View attachment IMG_20171009_134508.jpg


----------



## AmyJo1976

BurgerMePlease said:


> I confess that even though my roof is leaking and I have to save money to get it fixed, I'm still going to order this blazer:


 
Cloths before roof? That sounds like the right order


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Cookie dough is a food group no doubt!One that I have really started to enjoy!


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Cookie dough is a food group no doubt!One that I have really started to enjoy!




* poke poke *


----------



## Tracii

Pretty sure cookies are a food group so yes.
*poke* *poke*

Love the blazer BurgerMePlease.
Does it come in a XXXX extra fat?


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Cookie dough ice cream is really the best,I may have to make a stop after work.&#128051;&#128051;&#128051;


----------



## Tracii

Vanilla with caramel and Heath bars crumbled up in it.


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> Vanilla with caramel and Heath bars crumbled up in it.





* poke poke *


----------



## Tracii

*poke poke* to you too Amanda !!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Hey ladies,new outfit from over the weekend... 

View attachment 5C8B2440-254B-4ABD-BF22-C284DC16DFB6.jpg


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Hey ladies,new outfit from over the weekend...


 
LOVE it! lol!


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Hey ladies,new outfit from over the weekend...




Beautiful!!


----------



## Tracii

*poke poke*


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Thanks so much...seriously blushing!!!


----------



## BurgerMePlease

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Hey ladies,new outfit from over the weekend...



Oh I love the fishnets under the jeans! I have no fashion sense so wouldn't have thought of that lol!


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Thanks so much...seriously blushing!!!


 of course! Strut your stuff girl, you look great!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Thx so much ladies!


----------



## Tracii

Its been a while since I did fishnets under jeans or shorts
I did find an oldie goldie pic 

View attachment 013.JPG


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Rocking out!Great picture!


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> Its been a while since I did fishnets under jeans or shorts
> I did find an oldie goldie pic





Wow, amazing!


----------



## Tracii

Outdoor gigs were fun you could really crank up the volume.


----------



## BurgerMePlease

Tracii said:


> Its been a while since I did fishnets under jeans or shorts
> I did find an oldie goldie pic



Great pic!


----------



## Tracii

Thanks!!


----------



## AuntHen

Confident, intelligent FAs are pretty much the hottest thing on the planet. Throw in tall, handsome, funny and charming and oh my word, someone better grab the smelling salts! :blush:


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Totally agree,I fell for my hubby way before he even asked me out.When he finally asked me out,I couldnt say yes fast enough!


----------



## AmyJo1976

IC that I've been home less than an hour and I'm already buzzed


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Sounds like someone is ready for a fun weekend!


----------



## AmyJo1976

I plan on enjoying it at least!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Im going to dinner soon,plan on a great meal and dessert!


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Im going to dinner soon,plan on a great meal and dessert!


 
Happy for you! You have someone that treats you right!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I sure do!Never take him for granted.He appreciates the curves!


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> I sure do!Never take him for granted.He appreciates the curves!


 
Enjoy your amazing girl, you deserve it!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Just waiting for him to get home.I may have put on a pound or two lately...&#128051;&#128051;


----------



## Tracii

Amy Jo you and I can live vicariously thru Megan LOL
Her man loving her curves as they become bigger and softer.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I am truly lucky and I know it.I wish everyone could have what I do.I keep saying that Im not putting on more but its difficult I will admit.Im comfy where I am now and really dont want to buy a new wardrobe again.I tell John all the time,Fat clothes are expensive!


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> I am truly lucky and I know it.I wish everyone could have what I do.I keep saying that Im not putting on more but its difficult I will admit.Im comfy where I am now and really dont want to buy a new wardrobe again.I tell John all the time,Fat clothes are expensive!



On that note, you should have DQ this afternoon.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

You know,I just might!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

How have you been doing Amanda?


----------



## Tracii

DQ for both of you skinny girls that need to gain a little LOLOL


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> How have you been doing Amanda?



Doing ok, thanks for asking. Business as usual and staying out of this cold.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Yeah,I love the fall but the winter cold no thanks!


----------



## DragonFly

I can not find a good temperature!!!! I am ei1ther too hot or too cold... I think I am starting 1to hate winter.


----------



## AmyJo1976

DragonFly said:


> I can not find a good temperature!!!! I am ei1ther too hot or too cold... I think I am starting 1to hate winter.


 
As I've been told, you can always put cloths on, but you can't always take them off


----------



## DragonFly

AmyJo1976 said:


> As I've been told, you can always put cloths on, but you can't always take them off




The benefits of living alone!!!!1 I can get naked lol


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Naked isnt an issue in our home!Im encouraged My the hubby!


----------



## Tracii

Naked OMG !!!! what will the neighbors say ?


----------



## AmyJo1976

DragonFly said:


> The benefits of living alone!!!!1 I can get naked lol


 
I completely agree with this!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Ummmm,blinds closed ladies!I dont want to scare anyone!


----------



## AmyJo1976

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Ummmm,blinds closed ladies!I dont want to scare anyone!


 
No need for blinds if you're where no one can see you


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Very true!Just too much jiggling sometimes!


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Very true!Just too much jiggling sometimes!



Is there really such a thing as too much jiggling though? *poke*


----------



## Tracii

That does deserve a *poke *.LOLOL


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Very,very ticklish lately with all the new beauty as the hubby likes to say and point out all the time!


----------



## Tracii

Awww what a great hubby.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

He really is,we are good for each other.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Holiday season has been good so far...&#128051;&#128051;&#128051; 

View attachment EA118C9F-96CC-4D35-9B56-44C29048DB76.jpg


----------



## Tracii

*poke poke *


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Yeah,size 24 is coming back soon


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Holiday season has been good so far...&#128051;&#128051;&#128051;



Love it! *poke poke*


----------



## Tracii

26's maybe? *poke*


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

No on the 26s.I think Im going to maintain the food baby where its at.


----------



## Tracii

Thats fine As longs a you are happy.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I say that now but as we go out for ice cream tonite I say,well we shall see...


----------



## Tracii

Get a banana split and a shake don't be shy.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I think you and Amanda are a really bad influence!


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> I think you and Amanda are a really bad influence!



I like the idea of you indulging *poke* it suits you.


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii needs more custard!


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I think singlehandedily we are keeping junk food in style!


----------



## Tracii

More custard Amanda? OK I'm down with that idea.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Custard for all!Maybe some Reeses cups also


----------



## Tracii

Having an urge for a Butterfinger blizzard from DQ.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Those are really good!


----------



## Tracii

Made the 5 mile trip to DQ.
Got a flamethrower double burger combo and a large Butterfinger blizzard.
Soo good.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Well worth it Im sure!


----------



## Tracii

Oh the blizzard was heavenly Megan.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Good,glad you enjoyed it.


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> Made the 5 mile trip to DQ.
> Got a flamethrower double burger combo and a large Butterfinger blizzard.
> Soo good.



*poke poke*


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Did you ladies know that too much ice cream is no good for you??!!


----------



## Kristal

When I binge I end up looking 8 months pregnant. On an empty stomach I look l have a 6 weeks old baby bump...

It can take me 2 years to gain 10 pounds, yet it only takes me 2 weeks of being ill to lose 10 pounds...

I have 2 different sizes of cloths, one size I wear before dinner and the other size I wear after dinner...

Whenever I run into a family member, I do not know whether they will tell me that I gained weight or that I lost weight...

I am actually a fat person who is trapped inside of a thin person's body...


----------



## Tracii

You are a complex woman Kristal LOLOL


----------



## Kristal

I was walking past a mirror this morning but I just kept right on walking because I really am shy around strangers... So she unfriended me on Facebook. :/


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> Did you ladies know that too much ice cream is no good for you??!!



Too much ice cream? Is there even such a thing?


----------



## Tracii

Only too much if it gives you brain freeze Amanda.

Kristal she was mean to you wasn't she?


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Ummmm,ok.Not sure what that means...


----------



## Kristal

Tracii said:


> Kristal she was mean to you wasn't she?




This is just my attempt at D.I.D. inside humor, seeing as you must already know that I am so inflicted. The disturbing part is that these kinds of things occasionally happen to me.


----------



## Tracii

I was just playing along Kristal lol


----------



## Kristal

Tracii said:


> I was just playing along Kristal lol




I always knew that you were a playful little penguin


----------



## Tracii

Thats me Miss K


----------



## AmandaLynn

Kristal said:


> I always knew that you were a playful little penguin



Nothing little about Ms. Tracii these days.


----------



## Tracii

Thats for sure.LOL

Same goes for you too Amanda Miss fatty belly.


----------



## AmandaLynn

Tracii said:


> Thats for sure.LOL
> 
> Same goes for you too Amanda Miss fatty belly.



Oh I know it.


----------



## AmyJo1976

AmandaLynn said:


> Oh I know it.


 
I'll give a *poke* for that


----------



## Tracii

Even a quadruple *poke*.


----------



## Kristal

Years ago I had a partner who was already overweight when we met, because that was one of the things that I was attracted to. I could never say this out loud though without causing problems. If I cooked too much supper, I was trying to make him fat. If I cooked too little supper, then it was trying to starve him. I thought that it would help if I also gained enough weight in order be as overweight as he was. One day that would work and things would be just fine. Another day I was a fat slob and needed to lose weight. After having enough of that for a lifetime, I simply left and have been on my own ever since. I lost half of that weight but not all as I wanted to always be chubby.

My advice is to never, ever get involved with someone who is overweight unless they have already totally accepted themselves as being overweight and who is also very happy being an overweight. It is like being on a roller coaster that never stops.


----------



## Kristal

Tracii said:


> Even a quadruple *poke*.



*poke poke*


----------



## Tracii

Wise words Kristal.
Accepting who and what you are is important to a healthy relationship.


----------



## Kristal

Thanks dz

I am still working on the 'finding people who can accept me for who and what I am' part. But that is a whole other story as well as it being my own cross to bear.


----------



## Tracii

I wish you all the luck finding them.
Everybody needs acceptance.


----------



## Kristal

Tracii said:


> I wish you all the luck finding them.
> Everybody needs acceptance.



thanks dz


----------



## Tracii

YW Kristal


----------



## Kristal

Your penguin friend is cute.


----------



## Kristal

Happy Holidays 

View attachment images (1).jpeg


----------



## Tracii

Mr Penguin is adorable thats why he is my avatar.


----------



## Kristal

Tracii said:


> Mr Penguin is adorable thats why he is my avatar.



Ms Penguin is adorable too - lolol


----------



## Tracii

She is for sure !!


----------



## plushkitty

I just got back from a ladies' Bunco night! Not only is everyone there nice, we do potluck finger food, and this time there was _so much food._ I pigged out and there was still plenty of food for everyone else! Chicken meatballs, cream cheese with candied jalapenos on crackers, tiny sausages wrapped in pastry, crepes and Nutella, little cheese tarts, a big cheese tray, something that looked like a spanakopita, six kinds of cookies... best kind of party.


----------



## Tracii

Over indulged did you ?
You might get fat you know.


----------



## AmandaLynn

I have not confessed in a while. Today I put too much Amanda Lynn in a skirt. It made it until I got on the bus to go home. Luckily I was bundled up, so it was somewhat discrete.


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

I can understand,skirts and I are not on good terms.Has happen twice to me,luckily I was close to home on both occasions.


----------



## Tracii

How could there be too much Amanda Lynn?.
*poke poke*


----------



## AmandaLynn

BBW MeganLynn44DD said:


> I can understand,skirts and I are not on good terms.Has happen twice to me,luckily I was close to home on both occasions.




I had just got on the bus and sat down. I realized it as soon as it happened. I did not move a muscle until it was time to get off the bus. Then I walked careful to the door quickly to my apartment. Thank God I was bundled up and live two blocks from the M104.


----------



## Tracii

Glad you made it home OK and didn't suffer any embarrassment.


----------



## AuntHen

I have never had much of a height preference on a man before but as someone who is 5'10", I must say, I am really digging him being 6'3" (and he prefers tall women he he)


----------



## docilej

My gf just went thru gastric bypass surgery. When we started dating she was on the cusp of 300 lbs (Mmmm....), but now, she's around 240...looking at a target weight of 155lbs (she's 45yo, 5'3"). I love her still, but damn l miss being next to that incredible size


----------



## Tracii

I know a lady that had GB surgery and she lost a lot but she has gained 90% of it back over the span of 2 years.
I have one GF that had a lap band thing done and she is as fat as ever.
If you don't change your eating habits after GB you will gain it back.


----------



## docilej

...so true! But, my g/f is tenacious. I'm quite confident that once she achieves her 'target weight' she'll maintain it. As for the lap band method- that has the highest fail rate. I'm not surprised your friend grew back her size. (I'm waiting for Mariah Carey to balloon back up...hehe...).
Not having my g/f at the 300 lbs mark is bad enough, but the worst aspect of all of this is...the hanging skin. That's a pretty tough thing to overlook


----------



## Tracii

I have to wonder do you love her for her or just because she is overweight?
It is her body and its up to her what she does with it.


----------



## docilej

Please don't question my love for her. All I ever meant was- I got blindsided when she told me she was going through with this. It would be like if I came home one day with a face tattoo. It was something I never expected.


----------



## Tracii

A face tattoo is permanent losing some weight isn't so not quite the same thing.
I'm glad you are in love with her as a person thats awesome but so many post here about this kind of thing so my apologies if it came across as offensive.
I sure didn't mean it that way.


----------



## docilej

A face tattoo is permanent as having 80% of your stomach surgically removed...because that's what she did.


----------



## Tracii

Well thats permanent too I suppose.


----------



## AndSoItGoes

docilej said:


> My gf just went thru gastric bypass surgery. When we started dating she was on the cusp of 300 lbs (Mmmm....), but now, she's around 240...looking at a target weight of 155lbs (she's 45yo, 5'3"). I love her still, but damn l miss being next to that incredible size


 
Congratulations to her !


----------



## Emmy

confessions thread eh!? I was messing around with a guy, when i took my shirt off he said "huh, i thought youd have saggy boobs cuz youre bigger" 
..i dont  but i didnt know if i should laugh or smack him! Anyone else have odd comments from a hook up?


----------



## BBW MeganLynn44DD

Well,when I began to gain I gained mostly in my belly.I was mistaken a few times for being pregnant.I was told by a co-worker,”Big belly,big boobs,you must be knocked up.”Ummmm,no just fat and happy, was my response!


----------



## HUGEisElegant

Emmy said:


> confessions thread eh!? I was messing around with a guy, when i took my shirt off he said "huh, i thought youd have saggy boobs cuz youre bigger"
> ..i dont  but i didnt know if i should laugh or smack him! Anyone else have odd comments from a hook up?



Yeah, it's hard to say if you should have smacked him or not. lol  But I have a feeling he meant no harm. It's just that some guys can be a little fumbly and inelegant with their choice of words. Although, him thinking you "might" have had saggy boobs is not necessarily a "bad" thing per se. Perhaps a little insensitive, but there are actually plenty of guys who either don't mind or are attracted to saggy boobs, so it's hard to say where he was coming from when he said that. But yeah, I think guys tend to have a preconceived notion of what women of a certain size and body type "should" be, which can affect their viewpoint, and can cause them to say something like that. As insensitive as it may be. But not in all instances does an assumption mean a guy is implying it in a negative way.  It's just that some guys are a little out to lunch when it comes to thoughtful wording. lol


----------



## HUGEisElegant

As for myself, I am not sure what I'm confessing!  Here I am on a site dedicated to FA/FFA, as well as the attraction and appreciation of BBW and SSBBW women. I have already quite openly shared my attraction for SSBBW women, so I'm not sure what to confess here. lol  I love, respect and appreciate big women in all their forms, and that's why I am here. Which is to share and rejoice in that respect and appreciation, as well as to learn and meet some nice people along the way.  If that is a confession of my love, appreciation, respect and attraction to big, beautiful curvy women, then I am "guilty" as charged.


----------



## BigElectricKat

Here is a weird confession.
Years ago, I was at a party with some friends that seemed to get out of hand after a while. Since it was a close friend's house, I decided that I'd better kick some of the people out and get things under control. After getting things simmered down I went looking for my friend. He had hooked up with a big gal (he was pretty husky himself) and so I wanted to make sure they were alright. I opened the door to one of the bedroom and there they were, screwing. I quickly closed the door so as not to disturb them. And made sure others didn't either. But as I stood outside the door I realized that I couldn't tell who was on top and who was on the bottom! It was just two big, white asses staring back at me. Found out later which was which and had to admit to my friend I thought he was the girl.


----------



## Emmy

HUGEisElegant said:


> Yeah, it's hard to say if you should have smacked him or not. lol  But I have a feeling he meant no harm. It's just that some guys can be a little fumbly and inelegant with their choice of words. Although, him thinking you "might" have had saggy boobs is not necessarily a "bad" thing per se. Perhaps a little insensitive, but there are actually plenty of guys who either don't mind or are attracted to saggy boobs, so it's hard to say where he was coming from when he said that. But yeah, I think guys tend to have a preconceived notion of what women of a certain size and body type "should" be, which can affect their viewpoint, and can cause them to say something like that. As insensitive as it may be. But not in all instances does an assumption mean a guy is implying it in a negative way.  It's just that some guys are a little out to lunch when it comes to thoughtful wording. lol


omg.. i never thought of that! what if he wanted them to be lol bonus for co ed discussions


----------



## BigElectricKat

Emmy said:


> confessions thread eh!? I was messing around with a guy, when i took my shirt off he said "huh, i thought youd have saggy boobs cuz youre bigger"
> ..i dont  but i didnt know if i should laugh or smack him! Anyone else have odd comments from a hook up?


He should have just been happy to SEE your boobs!


----------



## Emmy

BigElectricKat said:


> Here is a weird confession.
> Years ago, I was at a party with some friends that seemed to get out of hand after a while. Since it was a close friend's house, I decided that I'd better kick some of the people out and get things under control. After getting things simmered down I went looking for my friend. He had hooked up with a big gal (he was pretty husky himself) and so I wanted to make sure they were alright. I opened the door to one of the bedroom and there they were, screwing. I quickly closed the door so as not to disturb them. And made sure others didn't either. But as I stood outside the door I realized that I couldn't tell who was on top and who was on the bottom! It was just two big, white asses staring back at me. Found out later which was which and had to admit to my friend I thought he was the girl.


hahahaha love this


----------



## HUGEisElegant

BigElectricKat said:


> Here is a weird confession.
> Years ago, I was at a party with some friends that seemed to get out of hand after a while. Since it was a close friend's house, I decided that I'd better kick some of the people out and get things under control. After getting things simmered down I went looking for my friend. He had hooked up with a big gal (he was pretty husky himself) and so I wanted to make sure they were alright. I opened the door to one of the bedroom and there they were, screwing. I quickly closed the door so as not to disturb them. And made sure others didn't either. But as I stood outside the door I realized that I couldn't tell who was on top and who was on the bottom! It was just two big, white asses staring back at me. Found out later which was which and had to admit to my friend I thought he was the girl.



LOL! Great story! Love it! xD But didn't he know to put a sock on the doorknob???  I'm pretty sure that's the international signal for "we gettin' busy up in here". lol


----------



## bubba350

My wife had gastric bypass surgery also went from 365 to 225. It was what she wanted to ease her knee pain. I supported her because it was her choice and her body.
Yes she was a doll at 365 but I love her .She is just as sexy at 225 she is not happy with the saggy excess skin. But that's the price you pay. I know how she feels I have my own from my 425 lbs. days. In the end we will both benefit from better health . 
We are both getting older extremely fat while sexy,is a younger persons preference.
At 62 I'm happy to be 300lbs. 62 and 425lbs. would be painful.
You love her support her the insides really matter more than the outside looks.


----------



## HUGEisElegant

Emmy said:


> omg.. i never thought of that! what if he wanted them to be lol bonus for co ed discussions



Oh no! Maybe he's disappointed now!  I'm kidding! I'm kidding!  But seriously, all joking and silliness aside, yes. There are guys who like saggy boobs too.  And I can tell you that it's pretty much a guarantee that for the majority of guys who like bigger women, many of them also like saggy boobs too. So either way, you're good to go.


----------



## landshark

HUGEisElegant said:


> Oh no! Maybe he's disappointed now!  I'm kidding! I'm kidding!  But seriously, all joking and silliness aside, yes. There are guys who like saggy boobs too.  And I can tell you that it's pretty much a guarantee that for the majority of guys who like bigger women, many of them also like saggy boobs too. So either way, you're good to go.



Yeah, you name it and there is a guy out there who loves it. And not in a fetish sort of way necessarily.

Also, I’ve personally noticed how much I love some of the features on my wife that mainstream may consider flaws. Sagging boobs, stretch marks, etc. she’s so perfect and all those little “flaws” contribute to her perfection.


----------



## HUGEisElegant

happily_married said:


> Yeah, you name it and there is a guy out there who loves it. And not in a fetish sort of way necessarily.
> 
> Also, I’ve personally noticed how much I love some of the features on my wife that mainstream may consider flaws. Sagging boobs, stretch marks, etc. she’s so perfect and all those little “flaws” contribute to her perfection.



Yep! Couldn't agree more with what you said.  More times than not, I think people apply the word "fetish" to something they don't understand, or _care_ to understand. When in reality, something as beautiful and commonplace as sagging breasts is just a part of the spectrum of beauty that applies to anyone. _Any_ woman can have saggy boobs, regardless of her body type, breast size or even her age. It isn't a "fetish" at all. Just a part of what beauty can be for many people. 

And yes! Again, I couldn't agree more with what you said about what the mainstream may call "flaws". I, too, like sagging boobs and I absolutely _adore_ stretch marks and cellulite as well. I find them to be _highly_ attractive. Each one is as beautiful and unique as a fingerprint, and only adds to a woman's beauty. In my opinion, culturally-perceived "imperfection" is utter perfection to me. I love it all and I make no apologies for it. For why would I ever apologize for something I think is so beautiful?


----------



## Dan DeLeon

> But as I stood outside the door I realized that I couldn't tell who was on top and who was on the bottom! It was just two big, white asses staring back at me. Found out later which was which and _had to admit_ to my friend I thought he was the girl.



Odd admission (to me).

I'm tempted to ask, did the thought "Yeaaahhhh, Baby! I'd tap _that_!" cross your mind before you found out whose was whose . . .

But, we won't go _there_, BEK.


----------



## BigElectricKat

Dan DeLeon said:


> I'm tempted to ask, did the thought "Yeaaahhhh, Baby! I'd tap _that_!" cross your mind before you found out whose was whose . . .


No. Even as the unofficial bouncer of the night, I found time to get some "work" in on my own.
In fact, she was BBW friend of our little clique.


----------



## Ncmomof4

docilej said:


> My gf just went thru gastric bypass surgery. When we started dating she was on the cusp of 300 lbs (Mmmm....), but now, she's around 240...looking at a target weight of 155lbs (she's 45yo, 5'3"). I love her still, but damn l miss being next to that incredible size



I know this is a little later from when you posted this but I'm brand new here and read your post. It is very hard when you partner changes something that we really loved about them. And im sure she has lost quite a bit more since your post. Just be supportive, people think it the easy way to lose weight but it is probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. I had mine almost 10 years ago. I am still thrilled that I did but there are some serious effects both emotional and physical. The sagging skin SUCKS! I lost 145 lbs and have unfortunately gained about 50 lbs back after getting pregnant and having some serious marriage issues. It is very common when you lose that much that your personality changes as well, which can be really hard on those that love her. I remember as I got down that I would actually get at Male attention because I was like I am the same girl that 1 year you would not have even thought to look at. Talk about being pissy. There was also a safety thing because when I was larger I never feared walking in a dark parking lot cause really who's gonna be able to pick me up and get me in a car without a serious fight. But when I was the size someone could have thrown me in the car there was some fear doing things I would not have thought secondly when I was bigger. But I was able to do things with my girls that I hadnt been able to when I was at my largest. And I did have a decrease in joint pains. I also bought alot of clothes!!! I hope she is having a positive experience and that things are going well with you both. Because there is something about unconditional love.


----------



## HUGEisElegant

Ncmomof4 said:


> I know this is a little later from when you posted this but I'm brand new here and read your post. It is very hard when you partner changes something that we really loved about them. And im sure she has lost quite a bit more since your post. Just be supportive, people think it the easy way to lose weight but it is probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. I had mine almost 10 years ago. I am still thrilled that I did but there are some serious effects both emotional and physical. The sagging skin SUCKS! I lost 145 lbs and have unfortunately gained about 50 lbs back after getting pregnant and having some serious marriage issues. It is very common when you lose that much that your personality changes as well, which can be really hard on those that love her. I remember as I got down that I would actually get at Male attention because I was like I am the same girl that 1 year you would not have even thought to look at. Talk about being pissy. There was also a safety thing because when I was larger I never feared walking in a dark parking lot cause really who's gonna be able to pick me up and get me in a car without a serious fight. But when I was the size someone could have thrown me in the car there was some fear doing things I would not have thought secondly when I was bigger. But I was able to do things with my girls that I hadnt been able to when I was at my largest. And I did have a decrease in joint pains. I also bought alot of clothes!!! I hope she is having a positive experience and that things are going well with you both. Because there is something about unconditional love.



Well said and well written. Thanks for your insight!


----------



## landshark

Ncmomof4 said:


> I know this is a little later from when you posted this but I'm brand new here and read your post. It is very hard when you partner changes something that we really loved about them. And im sure she has lost quite a bit more since your post. Just be supportive, people think it the easy way to lose weight but it is probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. I had mine almost 10 years ago. I am still thrilled that I did but there are some serious effects both emotional and physical. The sagging skin SUCKS! I lost 145 lbs and have unfortunately gained about 50 lbs back after getting pregnant and having some serious marriage issues. It is very common when you lose that much that your personality changes as well, which can be really hard on those that love her. I remember as I got down that I would actually get at Male attention because I was like I am the same girl that 1 year you would not have even thought to look at. Talk about being pissy. There was also a safety thing because when I was larger I never feared walking in a dark parking lot cause really who's gonna be able to pick me up and get me in a car without a serious fight. But when I was the size someone could have thrown me in the car there was some fear doing things I would not have thought secondly when I was bigger. But I was able to do things with my girls that I hadnt been able to when I was at my largest. And I did have a decrease in joint pains. I also bought alot of clothes!!! I hope she is having a positive experience and that things are going well with you both. Because there is something about unconditional love.



Seems you would say overall, despite some serious adjustments, it was a good decision for you? 

And you are so right! It’s tough when someone we love wants to change one of the things we love about them. What’s important is to love a person, not a fat person. It’s okay to love that about her, but it can’t be the driving force behind that love. Same for any guy who loves his partner because of how fit and in shape she is. Then she has a baby and that changes...

I hope you continue to thrive and enjoy life as much as you can. We get one shot and I don’t want to ever look back and realize I’ve messed it all up!


----------



## Ncmomof4

happily_married said:


> Seems you would say overall, despite some serious adjustments, it was a good decision for you?
> 
> And you are so right! It’s tough when someone we love wants to change one of the things we love about them. What’s important is to love a person, not a fat person. It’s okay to love that about her, but it can’t be the driving force behind that love. Same for any guy who loves his partner because of how fit and in shape she is. Then she has a baby and that changes...
> 
> I hope you continue to thrive and enjoy life as much as you can. We get one shot and I don’t want to ever look back and realize I’ve messed it all up!



Yes I am still very happy that I had it done. I am often upset that I regained some but I am still in a better spot than I was. 

Love has to based on so much more than the physical. It maybe but brought you together in the beginning but none of us look like we did when we were 20. We age, things change and if love is solely based on the physical what are we left with if there is God forbid an accident or an injury out of our control. 

I need to remember to live life to the fullest because your right we dont want to look back and think man I wish I had done that! Thank you for the reminder!


----------



## TwoSwords

Ncmomof4 said:


> Love has to based on so much more than the physical. It maybe but brought you together in the beginning but none of us look like we did when we were 20. We age, things change and if love is solely based on the physical what are we left with if there is God forbid an accident or an injury out of our control.



Love must be based on the person's humanity on some level if it is to be unconditional. If the relationship changes, and people start to drift apart from one another, even then, you can continue to love the person and care about what happens to them. You should never wish harm on a person, just because you enjoy fewer things about them.

It's a hard lesson, but a necessary one, and only really possible if a person has hope.

I would, however, add the caveat that some things may be _necessary_ for a close relationship (especially a romantic relationship) to work, which are not, strictly-speaking, the _foundation_ of love. Believe it or not, love is not *all* you need.


----------



## Ncmomof4

TwoSwords said:


> Love must be based on the person's humanity on some level if it is to be unconditional. If the relationship changes, and people start to drift apart from one another, even then, you can continue to love the person and care about what happens to them. You should never wish harm on a person, just because you enjoy fewer things about them.
> 
> 
> 
> It's a hard lesson, but a necessary one, and only really possible if a person has hope.



I completely agree with that!


----------



## BouncingBoy

When Mousey & I 1st met online,it was the physical that attracted me to her.Then as we talked there was a feeling there that went beyond just the physical.Then when we finally met it all became clear that we were meant to be.2 1/2 years later we're still going strong & I feel getting stronger.


----------

