# If you had the power to change your FA-ness...



## The Orange Mage (Jul 13, 2010)

would you? How?


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## Gspoon (Jul 13, 2010)

Well, not entirely sure how to respond. Are you asking if I could stop being an FA? Or if I could change preferences of how I see BBW's?


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## Wantabelly (Jul 13, 2010)

I wouldn't change it for the world.... the excitement and pleasure it brings me, nothing compares :wubu:


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## Gspoon (Jul 13, 2010)

Well if thats the case. I'd say I wouldn't change cause I don't really know what it is like to not be into fat girls. I am quite content with having my desire for the fat female body. Not only that, being an FA is one of my key characteristics .

If I changed that, I'd be a completely different person than I am today, I like who I am .


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## The Orange Mage (Jul 13, 2010)

For those not getting it, this is a FA/FFA Board version of the "If you had the power to change your weight" thread that is off somewhere else on the boards.


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## Oirish (Jul 13, 2010)

I always like to say that I'm an equal opportunist and I find girls of most shapes and sizes sexy. I do think it would be nice if I could more purely just see beauty for what it is in a more straightforward way. Increasingly of late I'll look at a girl that is beautiful and thin and recognize that she is sexy but in the back of my mind I'll think "if only she could throw a little more ass on that frame" or some such thought. I've some feeder tendencies and have been an FA a while but this is a fairly new attitude I'm recognizing. I'd prefer going back to recognizing beauty in people how they are rather than wishing to see them change.


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## Blackjack (Jul 13, 2010)

Not a chance.

Well, actually, I'd like a tiny bit more leeway in just what turns me on, just on the off chance that Christina Hendricks shows up at my door naked one day. I'd _so_ go to that special hell if my wiring worked that way.


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## Jon Blaze (Jul 13, 2010)

Pretty much what Blackjack said.

My manual control has dwindled. I would like more of my past because there's a time and a place for everything. But other than that: It's fine.


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## john_in_indy (Jul 13, 2010)

I've been having a lot of "I'm sooooo glad I'm an FA!!!" moments this year, so I'm going to say a most emphatic "No" to the idea of changing my FA-ness.


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## The Orange Mage (Jul 13, 2010)

Like Oirish, I wish I could change it somewhat. I'm honestly all about supersize and honestly I'd drop my "sweet spot" down to the size 14-20 range if I really could just to make things easier and open up more possibilities.


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## Devil's Subjugate (Jul 13, 2010)

I'm sure a lot of people will stand up and proclaim their satisfaction with their specific pedigree of fat admiration. That's easy, especially behind a computer. I wouldn't change the fact I'm an FA, but I would probably get rid of the feeder fantasy stuff. I'm attracted to very large women (400 - 500 lbs), and well, I guess I'd prefer to be into mid-size BBWs (275 - 375) because it's healthier and mobility and travel are important to me. The gaining fantasy is great and all, but I think appreciating a woman as she is makes everyone happier.


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## Tad (Jul 14, 2010)

Given a choice, at this point in my life, I'd drop most of the FA stuff and all the feeder stuff. I'd like to retain an appreciation of a wide range of sizes, but lose the specific turn on from fat and being fatter. It would certainly change who I am, and who knows what all that would do to my sexuality (the fat stuff has been a key part of it since I had a sexuality), but given that none of this interests my wife, it would just be better that way.


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## chicken legs (Jul 14, 2010)

Well considering I do have a muscle fetish as well...I'm pretty cool with my FA-ness. The two fetishes seem to compliment each other..lol.


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## musicman (Jul 15, 2010)

Gspoon said:


> Well if thats the case. I'd say I wouldn't change cause I don't really know what it is like to not be into fat girls. I am quite content with having my desire for the fat female body. Not only that, being an FA is one of my key characteristics .
> 
> If I changed that, I'd be a completely different person than I am today, I like who I am .



I agree with Gspoon. Being an FA is an essential part of who I am. Without it, or the other 10000 things that make me who I am, I would be completely different. Also, I wouldn't have met my wife, who is the most wonderful woman (of any weight) that I've ever known. I wouldn't want to risk missing out on her.


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## mercy (Jul 15, 2010)

Not at all. I consider myself an FA, but not to the exclusion of other body types, so I don't really feel like I'm missing out on anything.


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## MrRabbit (Jul 15, 2010)

I will be the dissonant voice here, but I'd say: Yes.
Where I live, there are not many BBWs, so as an FA, finding a partner is much more difficult. In addition, WLS is very abundant here, so even if you do find a BBW partner, there is a big chance that at some point she will turn to WLS. 

It would make me a different person, but it would also be a lot easier if I could physically appreciate women of all sizes rather than just BBWs.


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## Cors (Jul 15, 2010)

What Oirish and Blackjack said. I do date outside of my preference if there is amazing chemistry but often end up wishing I could change my partner to fit my physical ideal. I wish I could be attracted to anyone, regardless of their size or gender.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jul 15, 2010)

The Orange Mage said:


> Like Oirish, I wish I could change it somewhat. I'm honestly all about supersize and honestly I'd drop my "sweet spot" down to the size 14-20 range if I really could just to make things easier and open up more possibilities.




I hardly ever post in the FA forum, but this post was depressing to me. 

Honestly, it's been my experience that a lot of men want to bang supersized women, but marry smaller bbws, because it's just easier and less hassle, and this post really relates to that, IMO. (NOT saying you're this type of person personally, Orange Mage!) On an intellectual level, I get it, I guess, but emotionally it's difficult to hear and process. 

(This is not directed at Orange Mage, but at people who think the way I'm describing) -- I don't understand sacrificing what you're ultimately attracted to for the sake of what is easy. You might be able to handle it for a year... or five years... or maybe even ten... but eventually you're going to recognize that you haven't really gotten everything you wanted out of life and you're missing out, and more people than you are going to end up getting hurt.


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## Amandy (Jul 15, 2010)

No, I feel it's such an integral part of me, and what makes me, me - and I like me; I don't want to be anyone else.

I also believe my preference is the reason for my high sex drive, which I wouldn't EVER trade out, not even for all the frustrating yes-damnit-you-are-hot conversations I've ever had.


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## The Orange Mage (Jul 15, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> I hardly ever post in the FA forum, but this post was depressing to me.
> 
> Honestly, it's been my experience that a lot of men want to bang supersized women, but marry smaller bbws, because it's just easier and less hassle, and this post really relates to that, IMO. (NOT saying you're this type of person personally, Orange Mage!) On an intellectual level, I get it, I guess, but emotionally it's difficult to hear and process.
> 
> (This is not directed at Orange Mage, but at people who think the way I'm describing) -- I don't understand sacrificing what you're ultimately attracted to for the sake of what is easy. You might be able to handle it for a year... or five years... or maybe even ten... but eventually you're going to recognize that you haven't really gotten everything you wanted out of life and you're missing out, and more people than you are going to end up getting hurt.



I understand and really didn't want to depress anyone but it's mostly a semi-snarky/experience-based response to that other thread and what I've had to deal with IRL. I'm totally wired towards SSBBWs, and that will likely never change, but my experiences have been shitty in my pursuit of...uhh...the FA life?

In summary, I wish I was completely unbiased when it comes to body size and crap because there are lots of wonderful women of every size, and my physical preference cuts off so damn many of them. =\


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## spanky.pinata (Jul 15, 2010)

Blackjack said:


> Not a chance.



*FAT FOREVER!!* 

mmm the fat...i worship u :bow:


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jul 15, 2010)

Sorry you've had such shitty experiences, dude. I recognize that it can't be easy, because I know it's not on the other side.

I hope no one minds that I posted what I did. I tried to do so in a pretty respectful manner, because I'm actually interested in the discourse we could have about this...


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## LoveBHMS (Jul 15, 2010)

There is a difference between saying "I wish i were not attracted to a certain size because there are too many difficulties to being with a SS partner" and "I wish i could be attracted to a range of sizes".

I _think_ what has mostly been said is that it can be frustrating to be very narrow or limitted in what can turn you on. Like if a guy meets a super nice girl with whom he has a lot in common, it might be suck to realize that the only thing that stops you from going out with her is she's not the right size that you can be attracted to. I mean does any man really want to be in a position of saying "Oh sure she's nice and thoughtful and a good person, but her outward appearance is not 'enough' for me".


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## BigBeautifulMe (Jul 15, 2010)

FWIW, I wasn't responding to MOST of what was said, but a very specific part of one post, and saying it RELATES to this other issue that's very closely intertwined with this one (and inseperable, IMO). 

I understand wishing preferences were not so narrowly defined. Who doesn't wish for a larger dating pool? I think that's pretty natural - to want more options, and more possibilities. That wasn't what I was addressing, though.


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## tonynyc (Jul 16, 2010)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> FWIW, I wasn't responding to MOST of what was said, but a very specific part of one post, and saying it RELATES to this other issue that's very closely intertwined with this one (and inseperable, IMO).
> 
> I understand wishing preferences were not so narrowly defined. *Who doesn't wish for a SSBBW?* I think that's pretty natural - to want more options, and more possibilities. That wasn't what I was addressing, though.



*T*here fixed it for ya- sounds like a good wish to me :happy:


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## wrench13 (Jul 16, 2010)

would not change a thing. nope, no, no. FA for life!


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## Weirdo890 (Jul 16, 2010)

Nope, I wouldn't change a thing about my FA-ness. I'm happy with who I am. :happy: Plus, if I wasn't an FA, I would never have come here and met my wonderful girlfriend. :wubu:


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Jul 18, 2010)

I would still be an FA. I do like plump and normal sized women, too though. At the end of the day, the most important thing is compatibility. Looks change with time, and many BBWs in my area get WLS.


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## Webmaster (Jul 21, 2010)

I wouldn't change a thing. I know that in all likelihood everyone experiences great joy and thrill, but I honestly cannot imagine a more wondrous experience than the one I was given to enjoy. If I had a chance to do it all over, I probably would change a few things, but sadly, unless one believes in reincarnation, we're only given this one trial run.


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## MrRabbit (Jul 22, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> ...
> I _think_ what has mostly been said is that it can be frustrating to be very narrow or limitted in what can turn you on. *Like if a guy meets a super nice girl with whom he has a lot in common, it might be suck to realize that the only thing that stops you from going out with her is she's not the right size that you can be attracted to.* I mean does any man really want to be in a position of saying "Oh sure she's nice and thoughtful and a good person, but her outward appearance is not 'enough' for me".


This is exactly why I would change it if I could. There are plenty super nice girls around here, unfortunately very few BBW. My FA-ness seriously reduced my dating pool...


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## rollhandler (Jul 23, 2010)

I wouldn't change who I am. The only thing that would be accomplished is the experience of viewing the grass from the other side of the fence and nothing else. I would still have a preference, that preference would be thin women. I would date and love within that preference, period. I have a wonderful life as an FA.
Rollhandler


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## StickMan (Jul 24, 2010)

I can beat that. I would definitely change my "orientation" as it was my inability to get past it that cost me my first (and most likely, only) girlfriend.


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## Fox (Jul 28, 2010)

Definitely not! Some fat women can be so gorgeous. I have been attracted to thin women before, and still am. I could live being attracted to a thin woman, I could never imagine living without total attraction to BBW/SSBBW. As for men, I usually like thin/toned men a bit better, but I'm glad I'm not disgusted by chubby guys. I dated a chubby guy last night, and I thought he was very cute too.


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## Adamantoise (Jul 30, 2010)

Absolutely not.


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## Adrian (Jul 30, 2010)

No.... I would not change my preference for BBWs. I would liked to have learned about how much I really liked SSBBWs earlier in my life!


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## Marietta (Jul 31, 2010)

Hell to the no. ^_^


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## blubberismanly (Jul 31, 2010)

I tried to post this before but I got a message saying it had to be approved to post...whatever. I'm giving it another shot.

I honestly don't like being into fat guys. It has been very difficult physically and emotionally. I've been insulted, humiliated and alienated from friends because of it. I wish I could be more ordinary...I like rock stars and guys with guitars. I just prefer the chubby ones. If I had a choice I'd take out the chubby part and be a band groupie.

Being unique is one thing but being so grossly different is completely another. I don't have any friends offline who think the same way I do about men, and I can't share my eye candy with anyone else. It is difficult, and heartbreaking going to a club with friends and not being able to point out a guy I alone think is hot.

I'm all for pride in one's self, but it isn't easy to be proud of this when "beautiful" men strike me as the opposite.


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## joswitch (Jul 31, 2010)

The Orange Mage said:


> would you? How?



I'd like to have been bisizual, rather than limited...
Even though my size range of attraction is wide: starting at roughly uk size 18 / 210lbs ish and waaay upwards, i.e. I've not found an upper limit...
I'd still want to be free of such an inbuilt restriction... Particularly as most every woman I meet lately, that I fancy, is desperately trying to lose weight...

Clearly, there is no "how"... 

Ok that was a bummer... Moving on...


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## lust4bbbws (Aug 9, 2010)

*As a man who prefers women of size and curves hasn't always been easy. First from family and so-called "friends". Telling me that I could do better....this was confusing to me. I've been with many beautiful,sexy and intelligent women of size. How could I do any better? The second thing that irritates me is cute,sexy and lovely bbbw/ssbbbw no matter their color have body issues and seem to think a man has no true feelings or interest beside sex for them. This has caused more trouble and heartbreak for myself. I will gladly hold the hand of my luscious curvy lady and walk down any Blvd. or in the mall or anywhere not giving a damn who thinks or says what. I dislike the men who prey upon such kind and beautiful women making it difficult for men of honor and respect to capture the heart of many bbws. Now I live in an area that is bbbw deprived...I find myself longing for them all the time...I have found myself hanging outside of Avenue and Lane Bryants at the nearest mall just to catch a glimpse of a beautiful woman. Sad I know but out here in the desert most a skinny,tanned into an inch of their lives. I hope society learn to see the beautiful I see and feel the way I do. But then again if it doesn't happen...I frankly don't give a dam.*


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## Amaranthine (Aug 9, 2010)

blubberismanly said:


> I tried to post this before but I got a message saying it had to be approved to post...whatever. I'm giving it another shot.
> 
> I honestly don't like being into fat guys. It has been very difficult physically and emotionally. I've been insulted, humiliated and alienated from friends because of it. I wish I could be more ordinary...I like rock stars and guys with guitars. I just prefer the chubby ones. If I had a choice I'd take out the chubby part and be a band groupie.
> 
> ...



I know that feeling- I've gotten all kinds of fun commentary from my friends, who of course always fawn over the jock with a 6 pack. It's not immensely enjoyable to get some comment on it EVERY day. 

Granted, I used to be shy as hell and REALLLY self conscious about it. But, then I met someone who actually told me that it was okay...it's like, boom, epiphany. And I've gotten a lot more confident about it since then. So, if they have a problem with who I am, it's their problem. Not mine. 

Plus, I've tried thin cuddling- too much bone on bone action. 

I'm sorry that everyone makes it so hard on you =[ If it makes you feel any better, I definitely feel the same way about guys xD


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## SnapDragon (Aug 9, 2010)

If I could choose my sexuality, I would choose to be either totally asexual or completely pansexual.

In the first case, having no sex drive would enable me to concentrate more on work and stuff. In the second case, having the ability to be sexually attracted to any person, any shape, male or female or anything in between, would give me the widest choice.

But in reality I like fat guys, because that's how I was born.


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## Lady Bella UK (Aug 10, 2010)

I have a love/hate relationship with it....mostly I love it but at times it can really get me down 

Bella xXx


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## Lady Bella UK (Aug 10, 2010)

SnapDragon said:


> But in reality I like fat guys, because that's how I was born.



Heh, we can't choose can we? It's how the dice are rolled...

Bella xXx


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## blubberismanly (Aug 10, 2010)

Amaranthine said:


> I know that feeling- I've gotten all kinds of fun commentary from my friends, who of course always fawn over the jock with a 6 pack. It's not immensely enjoyable to get some comment on it EVERY day.
> 
> Granted, I used to be shy as hell and REALLLY self conscious about it. But, then I met someone who actually told me that it was okay...it's like, boom, epiphany. And I've gotten a lot more confident about it since then. So, if they have a problem with who I am, it's their problem. Not mine.
> 
> ...




Yeah, you make a good point. It's not their preference and they don't have to live with it...but I'm in/near LA. Image is EVERYTHING, as is conformity.

I appreciate your kind thoughts. It's hard to find people who can relate, even in the FA community. I've noticed that people here tend to be completely okay with it. I mean, I'm sure most have had to grapple with it at some point, I won't discount that. But where you live makes a big difference. Also, I think it's easier for a guy to like big girls than for a girl to like big guys. I think it was mentioned in a thread somewhere.


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## Tad (Aug 10, 2010)

blubberismanly said:


> Also, I think it's easier for a guy to like big girls than for a girl to like big guys. I think it was mentioned in a thread somewhere.



A lot of people here would say the opposite  The grass is always greener.....?

Personally I'd suggest that a woman attracted to the burly linebacker/lumberjack type would not take so much pressure in most places (LA being perhaps a different world). Although a woman attracted more to simply fat, not particularly big or muscular, guys....there I could well imagine a lot less acceptance.


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## The Orange Mage (Aug 10, 2010)

blubberismanly said:


> Also, I think it's easier for a guy to like big girls than for a girl to like big guys. I think it was mentioned in a thread somewhere.



I think the opposite. I feel that if you got a bunch of FAs and an FFAs and had them grab random fat partners, and had them tell that they found their fat bodies very sexually appealing you'd end up with more positive responses out of the fat dude simply because a guy is more likely to drop all the fat-hate baggage if a woman shows up with that kinda bombshell.


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## Jon Blaze (Aug 10, 2010)

Tad said:


> A lot of people here would say the opposite  The grass is always greener.....?
> 
> Personally I'd suggest that a woman attracted to the burly linebacker/lumberjack type would not take so much pressure in most places (LA being perhaps a different world). Although a woman attracted more to simply fat, not particularly big or muscular, guys....there I could well imagine a lot less acceptance.



That sounds accurate. I would say for those that admire women that a similar thing would apply to how curvy the woman is combined with size as well. Unfortunately a lot of people have the stupid notion that fat women can't be curvy ingrained in their minds.


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## gobettiepurple (Aug 10, 2010)

*Perhaps its because of who I am or where I am from, but Los Angeles isn't as superficial as people say. Perhaps its because I am Mexican and I come from a hispanic background where body types aren't as focused upon, but Los Angeles isn't a terrible place. I just wanted to say that!*


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## thirtiesgirl (Aug 10, 2010)

gobettiepurple said:


> *Perhaps its because of who I am or where I am from, but Los Angeles isn't as superficial as people say. Perhaps its because I am Mexican and I come from a hispanic background where body types aren't as focused upon, but Los Angeles isn't a terrible place. I just wanted to say that!*



I think your ethnicity and culture plays a large part in your experience of LA. It's not a terrible place, overall, I agree, but as a fat white woman who didn't grow up here but chose to move here on my own, my experience has been very different. LA hasn't been a fat-friendly place for me and I think it can sometimes be an unfriendly place for a lot of people who move here from other locations. A former co-worker of mine from northern Cali, a very tall, thin, athletically-built woman with long, curly strawberry blonde hair couldn't find a partner here after years of looking, and you'd think with her 'socially acceptable' body shape, she'd have it easier. She just kept meeting a lot of flaky men, or guys just looking for a casual hook-up. She finally met a guy in Wisconsin who seemed to like her for who she was and moved there to continue her relationship with him. Last I heard, things were going great with them. If I could handle the cold, snow and extremely humid summers, I'd go to Wisconsin in a heartbeat. But I'm looking for more temperate climes and will hopefully find one that's not LA in the near future.


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## Amandy (Aug 10, 2010)

Tad said:


> Personally I'd suggest that a woman attracted to the burly linebacker/lumberjack type would not take so much pressure in most places (LA being perhaps a different world). Although a woman attracted more to simply fat, not particularly big or muscular, guys....there I could well imagine a lot less acceptance.



This has been very true in my experience. I've known many, MANY women who are attracted to men who are moderately big/overweight, but not so many who like a SSBHM or the marshmallowy soft body type :eat2: 

And further, I've always felt comfortable sharing my preference for "big men" but not so much dishing on the fetishy specifics of fat attraction. I think that has more to do with how deeply sexual it is for me - i.e. not sharing my sexual self as a private matter, as opposed to hiding the preference.

I think many/most BHMs are more comfortable with being appreciated for their general size anyway - not as many want their SO's going around gushing about their guy's belly hang, moobs, fat folds, etc.


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## blubberismanly (Aug 11, 2010)

thirtiesgirl said:


> LA hasn't been a fat-friendly place for me and I think it can sometimes be an unfriendly place for a lot of people who move here from other locations.



I've seen diet ads on billboards around downtown LA...says a lot.


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## Blockierer (Aug 11, 2010)

_If you had the power to change your FA-ness... 
would you? How?_

There is no reason to change that.  I love and live my FA-ness, no excuse, no regret, no shame, no shyness.  It's my life.


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## Ernest Nagel (Aug 11, 2010)

When I was an adolescent it might've made things a bit simpler but I'm not sure? There's always going to be something that works and something that doesn't, no matter what your hot buttons are. In my experience self-acceptance is pretty fundamental to being acceptable to someone else. Bottom line (npi) I just don't think it's possible to deliberately change one's sexuality. A preference, maybe, but I can admit my FAness runs a little deeper and closer to the bone (OK, pun intended).


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## UnknownSpirit01 (Aug 11, 2010)

I wouldn't change it at all, I'm fine with how I see women of all sizes. I am who I am and I'm fine with it.


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## thirtiesgirl (Aug 11, 2010)

blubberismanly said:


> I've seen diet ads on billboards around downtown LA...says a lot.



Well, I think you'll see diet ads on billboards in most major cities. That's kind of par for the course. For me, it has more to do with the attitude of most guys I've met here...at least the white guys. They just don't want to date fat women, or at least consider having a long-term relationship with one. We're ok for a one night stand or occasional booty call, but they're not interested in much else, at least in my experience. Most black and Hispanic guys in LA (not all, but most, from my experience) have no problem dating fat women. I've dated some but usually find that we don't share a lot of cultural interests, which really doesn't lend itself to a serious relationship. 

I just have to keep telling myself that I'll find the right guy some day. I sincerely doubt I'll find him in LA, but I'm trying to keep my options open. As soon as the economy's more stable, I'd like to find a new place to call home. But until that happens, I just have to work with what I've got.


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## blubberismanly (Aug 12, 2010)

thirtiesgirl said:


> I just have to keep telling myself that I'll find the right guy some day. I sincerely doubt I'll find him in LA, but I'm trying to keep my options open. As soon as the economy's more stable, I'd like to find a new place to call home. But until that happens, I just have to work with what I've got.



*raises glass*

Couldn't agree more. LA is too stuck up.


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## joswitch (Aug 12, 2010)

thirtiesgirl said:


> Well, I think you'll see diet ads on billboards in most major cities. That's kind of par for the course. For me, it has more to do with the attitude of most guys I've met here...at least the white guys. They just don't want to date fat women, or at least consider having a long-term relationship with one. We're ok for a one night stand or occasional booty call, but they're not interested in much else, at least in my experience. Most black and Hispanic guys in LA (not all, but most, from my experience) have no problem dating fat women. I've dated some but usually find that we don't share a lot of cultural interests, which really doesn't lend itself to a serious relationship.
> 
> I just have to keep telling myself that I'll find the right guy some day. I sincerely doubt I'll find him in LA, but I'm trying to keep my options open. As soon as the economy's more stable, I'd like to find a new place to call home. But until that happens, I just have to work with what I've got.



I stayed in LA for a couple of weeks... Struck me as a place people went to earn money, rather than to really *live* life....


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## bmann0413 (Aug 13, 2010)

But I don't wanna change it.


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## kinkykitten (Aug 13, 2010)

Hell no! I embrace my love for the fatboys.. it brings me so much pleasure and joy


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## blazon (Aug 13, 2010)

I only wished that I would've admitted it to myself a lot earlier..... Thinking back on all those Big beautiful women that I passed up is depressing.....


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## MrRabbit (Aug 13, 2010)

blazon said:


> I only wished that I would've admitted it to myself a lot earlier..... Thinking back on all those Big beautiful women that I passed up is depressing.....


Fully agree!


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## MisterGuy (Aug 16, 2010)

Yes, I would change my preference in a heartbeat if I could. A much bigger dating pool, social acceptance and support of what you like, partners with generally higher self-esteem, less health issues in a partner and a longer average lifespan, no conflict between sexual urges and and concern for partner's well-being, etc. 

I mean, I've always had big girlfriends and I'm 100% about fat acceptance, and so on, but honestly, changing to a non-FA seems like a total no-brainer to me.


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## furious styles (Aug 17, 2010)

i don't know.


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## SvenskFA (Aug 17, 2010)

I am very sad to say that I definately would change my FA-ness if I could. Not being a FA would have made my life much easier, especially here in Sweden. Sweden is a very hard country to live in for BBWs and FAs. But in my case changing my FA-ness isn't about getting a larger dating pool, on the contrary. Since 3,5 year I live with a wonderful BBW. Before I met her I always thought that the alarms about obesity being dangerous was greatly exagerated. Now I realise that the health of a BBW is bad even if my girlfriend is a rather healthy BBW. I feel bad for being attracted to something that is bad for her health and limits her in our life.

I realise that I probably will get flamed for this statement but I needed to vent. I am sorry.


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## nykspree8 (Aug 17, 2010)

I think I would just go with being bisizual if I had the power, but I don't so what's even the point to think about it. I'm quite happy being a FA anyways


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## Ample Pie (Aug 17, 2010)

wrench13 said:


> would not change a thing. nope, no, no. FA for life!


Ditto. I'm happy with my lot in life in terms of attraction...


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## Chimpi (Aug 25, 2010)

Oh god no. The beauty, femininity and sexual presence of fat women is remarkable. I will never think of nor feel anything other than attraction, appreciation, admiration and desire for fat women. Moderate sizes, big sizes, huge sizes, super sizes, ultra sizes and everything under the fat sun.


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## Dromond (Aug 25, 2010)

The thread premise doesn't really resonate with me. Changing my preferences would mean changing who I am, so that's an automatic no regardless of any other consideration.


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## peppermint rhino (Oct 17, 2010)

Good lord no, and I'm an atheist. I rather like the misanthropic, pessimistic, and angry little FA I've become over the years and I wouldn't change it for the world.


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## kioewen (Oct 17, 2010)

Sure, I'd like to change one aspect of my admiration for plus-size women: reconfiguring my courting behaviour to be more attractive to full-figured women. Not my thinking; just my external behaviour.

But I suppose that's not really an aspect of attraction; just a question of wishing that somewhere along the way I had been able to successfully develop what people now call "game."


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## natepogue (Oct 17, 2010)

Good thread Idea. I've always suspected there were other FA's that were bitter about their nature (myself included)

I wouldn't change it. I think it makes a real man and that to me is the ultimate form of badassery.


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## CastingPearls (Oct 17, 2010)

I have no complaints about who and what I'm attracted to. I love fat men, plain and simple.


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## Goreki (Oct 18, 2010)

Not for the world.
I'd like to change the way I deal with things, and some of my family's comments and reactions to my partner fall under that.
Because I care about both my family and my partner so much, I want them to like each other. And the initial... reluctance to get to know him that they've shown is hurtful.
But I'd rather work to change the fact that it hurts me than change who I am.

There's nothing shameful or wrong about any of my sexual preferences, so what could I possibly gain from changing them?


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## exile in thighville (Oct 18, 2010)

there are a lot of things i would change about being an FA but myself isn't one of them


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## Christov (Oct 18, 2010)

exile in thighville said:


> there are a lot of things i would change about being an FA but myself isn't one of them


Quoted fo' truth.


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## disconnectedsmile (Oct 19, 2010)

The Orange Mage said:


> would you?


nope. absolutely not.
i have no reason to want to.


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## Jon Blaze (Oct 19, 2010)

Interesting how for a lot of us it isn't so much that we would want to change its existence, but "How" in many different ways.


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## natepogue (Oct 19, 2010)

Jon Blaze said:


> Interesting how for a lot of us it isn't so much that we would want to change its existence, but "How" in many different ways.



Like making it more widely accepted?


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## kioewen (Oct 19, 2010)

natepogue said:


> Like making it more widely accepted?



Only in one sense.

I don't mind having a taste that few others have, or acknowledge, or admit to. I'm fine with being at odds with the world in this, as I am in most aesthetic matters.

BUT, if it were more widely accepted, the world would be an infinitely more beautiful place. Seeing full-figured girls as the leads in movies, or on the covers of all the magazines, etc., etc., would be some kind of earthbound paradise.


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## natepogue (Oct 19, 2010)

kioewen said:


> Only in one sense.
> 
> I don't mind having a taste that few others have, or acknowledge, or admit to. I'm fine with being at odds with the world in this, as I am in most aesthetic matters.
> 
> BUT, if it were more widely accepted, the world would be an infinitely more beautiful place. Seeing full-figured girls as the leads in movies, or on the covers of all the magazines, etc., etc., would be some kind of earthbound paradise.



You put that so beautifully. 

I agree it's a taste that few others have (even though few is still a lot in numbers)

but it would make the world so much more awesome :bow:


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## Mies (Oct 23, 2010)

Tad said:


> Given a choice, at this point in my life, I'd drop most of the FA stuff and all the feeder stuff. I'd like to retain an appreciation of a wide range of sizes, but lose the specific turn on from fat and being fatter. It would certainly change who I am, and who knows what all that would do to my sexuality (the fat stuff has been a key part of it since I had a sexuality), but given that none of this interests my wife, it would just be better that way.



Well said. Same here.


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## Wolfie (Nov 3, 2010)

I have a scrawny bean pole of a boyfriend. We hit it off in every respect--I've never known anyone else I could stand being around for days and days and still be sad to leave. He's my only friend and often the only thing that makes me happy and keeps me working towards a better life. As far as social matters go, he is my world and the only person I'd ever wish to share my life with forever. 

He knows that I'm an FFA. He's completely okay with that--he even indulges me by going along with it. He constantly has to tell me that my preferences are perfectly fine and that he has no problem with them. But still, whenever we start acting more intimately, and my mind automatically turns to WG and images of what he might look like 200, 300 pounds heavier, part of me feels so awful and guilty that I can't just appreciate his body the way it is. I can't even feel satisfaction or excitement from any intimate encounters unless I turn to these fantasies. 

Over time, I think this has really damaged his idea of what I love, why I love him, and his own self-esteem. It has arrived to the point that he is now trying to gain weight for me to make me happier. And as blissfully, ecstatically heavenly the feel of each new pound on his lanky frame is, I know that with each one he is sacrificing his body--which is not healthy to begin with--just for me. I know he dislikes the feel of all this new flesh and I know he'd rather be skinny, as he confessed one night in an emotional outpour. I tell him all the time that I'm just as happy with him skinny as I would be with him fat. But still, he continues on.

It's a really awful, gnawing, anguished feeling to know that he thinks I only like weight and that I'll only love him if he weighs more. And what's even worse is that I affirm all these things whenever I get a hand around his softening middle and feel that where there was once bone is now warm, squishy bliss. He doesn't gain weight easily, and so is making himself sick on all these unhealthy, fatty foods. 

I don't want him to do this for me. I don't want to get my way this time. I don't want him to feel like my love for him rests upon his growing love handles. I don't want him to endanger his already precarious health for me. And I don' t want to love his new weight as much as I do. 

As much as fat admiration is a blessing, I think it can also function as a curse. If, in my life, I were to meet a gorgeous BHM in a cafe, hit it off with him, date, and marry this man and live happily ever after, being an FFA would bring me the most happiness I could find anywhere in the world (in the form of my wonderful BHM husband). But, if I were to meet a scrawny nerd at school, become friends with him, find that we are inseparable, date him, love him, and some day marry him, my fat fetish would be a curse constantly dividing my feelings of bliss right down the center. 

Sometimes it's not always as cut-and-dry as 'you should be proud to be an FA and if you don't like thin people date fat people.' Sometimes fate just doesn't turn out to work that way. Now, who am I to say I won't eventually break up with my current boyfriend and find that perfect BHM? But, things being the way they are now, if I were able to change my FA-ness right now, I would. As much pleasure as it brings me, it's just not worth this constant internal struggle.


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## bbwsrule (Nov 3, 2010)

I embrace it totally. It is such an enormous turnon, and not just sexually but visually, aesthetically, etc. I've been very happily with my wife for over 20 years, and since she is not that big by DIMs standards I don't have some of the concerns that others might have.

It would be nice to be more bisizeual, but there are plenty of BBW's out there should I (god forbid) ever need another one. Needless to say, anyone who has been with anyone for 20 years, or much shorter even, knows that sex is a GREAT place to start but is hardly sufficient.

Since my partner's attraction to me is so important, I do think I could get along well with a thinner woman but I have no intention of finding out.


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## ThinkingFA (May 27, 2011)

It would be gone!


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## Zandoz (May 27, 2011)

Although I do not see my self fitting the popular FA stereotype, I still would not change my preferences. I do not see any reason what so ever to do so.


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## imfree (May 27, 2011)

Oh, yah, too bad I didn't suppress my FA-ness, as I could have had so much more opportunity in my electronics career and been so much richer. Being an FA who also prefers to be SS, myself, has really held me back in this world and I would have been so much wealthier, had I controlled my weight and also only been seen with fit, socially acceptably-figured, women. To hell with what that plastic world has to offer. I'm at peace with my own body and my love of heavy women. A poor man's pillow is his peace of mind (JC Mellencamp)!


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## JulianDW (May 28, 2011)

I don't think I would change my FA-ness. Its helped me become a more accepting and open-minded individual. Heck, I remember being the one who teased the 'fat kid' back when I was a child in elementary school. I could've still been that bastard today if I wasn't an FA.


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## jakub (May 29, 2011)

I think that the real question is - "Do you want to be an average person?".

Average means boring.


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## paperman921 (May 29, 2011)

JulianDW said:


> I don't think I would change my FA-ness. Its helped me become a more accepting and open-minded individual. Heck, I remember being the one who teased the 'fat kid' back when I was a child in elementary school. I could've still been that bastard today if I wasn't an FA.



Good Point. I used to think it was a curse...for some reason. But now I view it as a blessing. Being an FA has opened up my once ignorant self. I wouldn't have it any other way.


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## BigFA (May 30, 2011)

I really would not want to change my FA'ness as I receive tremendous pleasure from looking at, thinking about, and fantasizing about beautiful fat women. And I have even come to embrace and enjoy my own weight gain. There is something about letting yourself go, enjoying all the wonderful food that is available, and growing fat, that is really enjoyable and a turn-on in and of itself. However, having said that, my wife of many years, is not particularly pleased with my own weight gain and recently has been on a kick to get in really good shape. When we first married, she slowly and steadily gained 70 lbs. and I was thrilled. She knew my preference for fatter women and seemed to reluctantly give in to my tastes by keeping pace with my own eating habits, etc. Believe it or not she started at 105 lbs. on a 5"0" frame and reached 175 at her heaviest. I was hoping it would continue and she would top 200, but alas she decided she really did not like being that heavy and has gotten down to 140 and has gone on a physical fitness campaign. While I love her very much and support her weight loss goals because it is important to her, like Wolfie, I feel very conflicted inside and almost wish I was not an FA so I could really get turned on by her new figure. But alas it is very difficult. And as I have gotten older and let my true FA feelings develop, I find I am really turned on by even heavier women. Beautiful BBWs who are 250 to 450 lbs. drive me nuts and my petite wife will never fulfill my true desires. I sometimes think how wonderful life would be if I could be with a woman who loved to eat as much as I do, who could revel in the pleasure of gaining weight together, and enjoy a life based on our mutual love of fat.


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## jakub (May 30, 2011)

BigFA said:


> I really would not want to change my FA'ness as I receive tremendous pleasure from looking at, thinking about, and fantasizing about beautiful fat women.



I guess average person (nonFA) has the same pleasure looking at beautiful average woman - so this statement does not make much sense (at least for me).

I know - its cool to look at BBW's (or SSBBW's in my case) - but its not argument about "not to change being an FA".




BigFA said:


> Beautiful BBWs who are 250 to 450 lbs. drive me nuts and my petite wife will never fulfill my true desires.



Living like this must be like hell


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## bonified (May 30, 2011)

This thread has been a mad eye opener for me, as has been the site for that matter. 
I've been trying to understand FA'ness etc, and how it has affected my life being fat and an ignoramus somewhat towards this whole predisposition hmm i dunno what you call it preference, the way it is etc

Just wanting to genuinely thank all the thread contributors, having a moment as you will lol. 

Thank you all


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## KHayes666 (May 30, 2011)

Yes and no.

I'd love to not be compared to the men who cheat on their spouses, the men who abuse their spouses, the men who abuse AND cheat on their spouses, the men who claim women are too THIN who are too dumb to figure out that's the same as saying someone's too fat, the men who jerk off to pictures and act like a jerk off to other men, the men who jerk off to pictures and have absolutely no chance of ever having a spouse, the men who jerk off to pictures and act like a jerk off to other men while simultaneously having no chance of ever having a spouse....you get the idea. If changing myself meant never being compared to these idiots again, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

The flip side is I met the most loveliest lady by being what I am. I wouldn't change anything about her and I can't fathom not meeting her in the fashion I did if I wasn't an F/A. She's very attractive and while our love is not based on attraction, it certainly helps overall. If changing myself would mean I wouldn't be attracted to her anymore, I wouldn't do it.

So there ya go, it sucks but its great at the same time. A true double edged sword.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Jun 4, 2011)

i wouldn't change anything about it.i LOVE being a FA more then anything.it's just what i like and am attracted to.even if i changed it it would surely come back.


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## LordQuas (Jun 14, 2011)

I used to often hate the fact that I was attracted to big women because I already am perceived as being weird enough without that distinction being added to my file. The frustration of trying to tear away the many layers of poor self-esteem that most larger women wear like chain mail also got to me. Now that I'm more mature I realize that letting the misguided opinions of others affect my happiness was just silly. I've had a few people tell me that being open about my preference shows a lot of character but I would never go that far because I don't look at being honest with myself as something that I should be praised for. So to answer the question: Nothing at all


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## The Orange Mage (Jun 23, 2011)

My answer has changed. I wouldn't change the FA part, not even the fact that I lean towards the SSBBW end of the pool. I'd just get rid of the feedery part. The fat fetishy part. That's all.


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## Sasquatch! (Jun 23, 2011)

The Orange Mage said:


> My answer has changed. I wouldn't change the FA part, not even the fact that I lean towards the SSBBW end of the pool. I'd just get rid of the feedery part. The fat fetishy part. That's all.



Amen, Brothah.


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## The Orange Mage (Jun 23, 2011)

Of course, this is with the exception that I'd be a-ok with it if there stood the remote chance of having someone with which I could fully share those things, as opposed to having to hide them, or worse, have them put-up-with for my sake.

But that's theory. In practice, the previous post will suffice.


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## BlueBurning (Jun 26, 2011)

In order to actually want to change something I would first need to feel that it was a negative and I've never felt that as an FA.


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## Eynimeb (Jun 29, 2011)

Absolutely.

I am attracted to large women taller than myself. Women are by definition not attracted to guys shorter than they are, and *certainly* not if they are also large women. Exceptions exist, but the odds of me finding someone who I find sexually attractive, interesting as a person, *and* who feels the same way about me, are negligable.

I'm not ashamed about my taste, but it is an absolute deal-breaker for the vast majority of women, even if I *weren't* extremely unattractive. (At least to the women I have met so far.)

So, I would change my taste to shorter women. I don't know if being attracted to skinnier women would make any difference. Women in this country (the Netherlands) are generally tall, thin, and aloof, so maybe it's best I don't get too attracted to them.


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## Blackjack (Jun 29, 2011)

Eynimeb said:


> Women are by definition not attracted to guys shorter than they are, and *certainly* not if they are also large women. Exceptions exist, but the odds of me finding someone who I find sexually attractive, interesting as a person, *and* who feels the same way about me, are negligable.



Got any evidence to back that up or are you just claiming your own experiences hold true for the entirety of the gender?

Because I have several experiences that would indicate that some women are attracted to guys who are shorter and thinner than they are, and I'm certain that others- male and female- would weigh in with similar stories to disprove your "definition" of what women are attracted to.


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## Fat Brian (Jun 29, 2011)

Eynimeb said:


> Absolutely.
> 
> I am attracted to large women taller than myself. Women are by definition not attracted to guys shorter than they are, and *certainly* not if they are also large women. Exceptions exist, but the odds of me finding someone who I find sexually attractive, interesting as a person, *and* who feels the same way about me, are negligable.
> 
> ...





If you made a list of the top twenty women you would most like to date at your school or job or whatever and then asked them what they are attracted to you would get at least twenty different answers. Each person is attracted to something different, of course there is some overlap but the boundaries are all different. There is a peg for every hole so to speak. Somewhere you will find someone who is high on your list and you will be high on theirs. There is no such things as a person who is out of your league, you just need to find someone whose attractions line up with yours.


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## nykspree8 (Jun 29, 2011)

Eynimeb said:


> Absolutely.
> 
> Women are by definition not attracted to guys shorter than they are, and *certainly* not if they are also large women. Exceptions exist...



If exceptions exist, then your definition of women is wrong  I do understand what you mean though and agree that a good majority of women probably want their guy to be taller than them. I don't think there's any instinct women are born with to flock to men taller than them though, and I'm sure there's plenty out there who even prefer shorter guys.


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## CastingPearls (Jun 29, 2011)

Eynimeb said:


> Women are by definition not attracted to guys shorter than they are, and *certainly* not if they are also large women. Exceptions exist, but the odds of me finding someone who I find sexually attractive, interesting as a person, *and* who feels the same way about me, are negligable.



By definition? I'm a large woman so I think I qualify. Some of the hottest guys I dated were shorter than me and a lot of my other BBW friends have no problem with dating shorter men. To me it's a non-issue. Maybe it's not a height problem but an attitude problem.


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## bonified (Jun 30, 2011)

I''m nearly 6ft, and what i've found is the smaller guys aka pocket rockets always want to conquer the amazonians, more power to them if they can too lol


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## KHayes666 (Jun 30, 2011)

Eynimeb said:


> Absolutely.
> 
> I am attracted to large women taller than myself. *Women are by definition not attracted to guys shorter than they are, and *certainly* not if they are also large women.* Exceptions exist, but the odds of me finding someone who I find sexually attractive, interesting as a person, *and* who feels the same way about me, are negligable.
> 
> ...



I'm 5'8 and my g/f is 6 feet tall.....so there goes that theory lol


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## Dromond (Jul 1, 2011)

Eynimeb said:


> Absolutely.
> 
> I am attracted to large women taller than myself. Women are by definition not attracted to guys shorter than they are, and *certainly* not if they are also large women. Exceptions exist, but the odds of me finding someone who I find sexually attractive, interesting as a person, *and* who feels the same way about me, are negligable.
> 
> ...



If you're giving off an "I'm ugly" vibe, women aren't going to respond well to that. It's been MY experience that women respond well to someone who is self confident, respectful, and has a sense of humor. Everyone has their tastes, of course, but by and large your personality is far more important to a woman than your looks.


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## Oceanbreeze (Jul 1, 2011)

I love being an FFA! I would not change it for anything. BHMs are the best!:wubu:


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## deadlysyndrome (Jul 7, 2011)

Sometimes, I really do wish that I could change things, maybe just a little bit. Not giving up the FFA aspects of my life entirely, but I would definitely tone them down a little bit if I could...
I never realized how much of a problem it was until about a week ago when I was "reunited", I suppose, with a guy I've been head over heels in love with for over a year, but have had no physical contact with for the past year due to distance. It's just hard to cope with the fact that no matter what my heart wanted, I wasn't entirely satisfied due to the fact that he's a pretty small dude.
:|

/TMI


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## Jay West Coast (Jul 7, 2011)

Growing up, I certainly wished I could unwire my FA-ness. When you're insecure, its easy to attribute your insecurities to whatever things make you different. But over time, you learn to delight in those same things, because those are the things that make your story yours. And some of them may very well be God-given attributes that you only understand later their true value.

Honestly, I feel privileged to be an FA. Sometimes I feel like its afforded me the opportunity to date "way above my pay grade"--women that are so beautiful inside and out that I can't fathom how they'd like me back. Without being an FA, I may never have fully understood how beautiful they really were.

I'm lucky to have it, and I'm glad its something that could never change.


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## Fox (Jul 8, 2011)

Eynimeb said:


> Absolutely.
> 
> I am attracted to large women taller than myself. Women are by definition not attracted to guys shorter than they are, and *certainly* not if they are also large women. Exceptions exist, but the odds of me finding someone who I find sexually attractive, interesting as a person, *and* who feels the same way about me, are negligable.
> 
> ...



Come on, dont be like that. Perhaps you've been rejected by a bigger girl because of your height. Maybe it's happened more than once, but that doesn't mean none of them like short guys. There are a lot of big women who wouldn't mind dating a short guy ( probably quite a few of them prefer it).

But dont let your bad experiences govern how you feel about yourself for the rest of your life. One usually must go through a lot of bad dates and heartbreaks before he finds the right one. Just be patient, confident, and learn from past experiences. Do this, and things will eventually work out for you.


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## Russ2d (Jul 13, 2011)

I'm stealing your line Oceanbreeze,


I love being an FA, I wouldn't change it for anything, fat women are the best!:wubu:


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## rg770Ibanez (Jul 13, 2011)

Maybe if you asked me a few years back I would immediately answer yes, but now that I've matured a little I think really what I appreciate about being an "FA" is the fact that my preference allows me to be more open minded and understanding about well, everything. Knowing how different just one other person's perspective can be has made me a very understanding person. For me what started out as something very narcissistic is slowly turning into something very selfless, which is awesome. I'm still pretty close minded about music though lol.


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## ChubbyChaserDave (Jul 13, 2011)

If I had the power to change it? If someone had asked me that back when I was in highschool and first finding out, odds are I probably would have said yes, but now, I don't think I want to anymore. The fact that it's harder to find a woman that I'm also sexually attracted to is still an inconvenience and I still worry about the possible health complications it could have on my partner while secretly hoping there is a way for her to stay healthy and chub there are some non sexual benefits to it as well that I like. Even for non sexual cuddling, BBW's win that one easily because they're soft and cuddly. At this point, I no longer care if my people think I'm weird or sick because of it cause if they're my friends it doesn't matter and it really doesn't do much if someone says "oh you can do better" because their version of better is really worse for me. At this point, the only drawbacks really are the difficulty finding a partner and worrying about her health, and since some are lucky enough to be plus sized and still live to their 70's or 80's, the difficulty finding a partner is really the only one that is a serious problem.


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## KHayes666 (Jul 17, 2011)

ChubbyChaserDave said:


> If I had the power to change it? If someone had asked me that back when I was in highschool and first finding out, odds are I probably would have said yes, but now, I don't think I want to anymore. The fact that it's harder to find a woman that I'm also sexually attracted to is still an inconvenience and *I still worry about the possible health complications it could have on my partner while secretly hoping there is a way for her to stay healthy and chub there are some non sexual benefits to it as well that I like.* Even for non sexual cuddling, BBW's win that one easily because they're soft and cuddly. At this point, I no longer care if my people think I'm weird or sick because of it cause if they're my friends it doesn't matter and it really doesn't do much if someone says "oh you can do better" because their version of better is really worse for me. At this point, the only drawbacks really are the difficulty finding a partner and worrying about her health, and since some are lucky enough to be plus sized and still live to their 70's or 80's, the difficulty finding a partner is really the only one that is a serious problem.



You do have a valid point there. For those of us who have an active social life that involves going to different places and trying new things, you have to be careful of who you go with and what you're going to do. 

While I was on vacation I visited Ruggles Mine in Grafton, New Hampshire and the place is an honest to goodness mine on the top of a mountain. It involved a LOT of walking including a really long uphill portion that totally wiped out my fiancee. I'm glad she was able to make it to the exit without passing out but it dawned on me that a lot (but not all) of friends of mine wouldn't have been able to endure that. 

Part of being an F/A is thinking about those kinds of things, especially if your partner is really tipping the scales. Most of it is discussed in the "Reality of Dating a SSBBW thread" so I won't get into it but I will say that its very important to ask your partner if he or she is ok with going somewhere and doing what you plan to do.

Btw, high school kids suck. It doesn't matter if they made you feel bad back then about who you liked because you won't see most of them ever again unless you plan on hitting up the reunions.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Jul 18, 2011)

ChubbyChaserDave said:


> If I had the power to change it? If someone had asked me that back when I was in highschool and first finding out, odds are I probably would have said yes, but now, I don't think I want to anymore. The fact that it's harder to find a woman that I'm also sexually attracted to is still an inconvenience and I still worry about the possible health complications it could have on my partner while secretly hoping there is a way for her to stay healthy and chub there are some non sexual benefits to it as well that I like. Even for non sexual cuddling, BBW's win that one easily because they're soft and cuddly. At this point, I no longer care if my people think I'm weird or sick because of it cause if they're my friends it doesn't matter and it really doesn't do much if someone says "oh you can do better" because their version of better is really worse for me. At this point, the only drawbacks really are the difficulty finding a partner and worrying about her health, and since some are lucky enough to be plus sized and still live to their 70's or 80's, the difficulty finding a partner is really the only one that is a serious problem.




i also agree on the part KHayes bolded.i wonder about that too,i do want my BBW to live a long life,i know you can still live a long life being big,but i do think about that too sometimes.


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## ChubbyChaserDave (Jul 26, 2011)

Good points, guys. It's like I said earlier that the possible health concerns is a worry for me and that I would like my BBW to live a long and healthy life and while I know that it's more than possible and it can be done, I'm also aware that the odds are less than they would be otherwise. However, I could also include it in the same category as the other concern about it being more difficult to find someone, as that too has lower odds, but the odds aren't 0 in either case. BTW, I'm really not worried about what anyone in highschool thought, as they've likely grown up by now and plus I'm at the point where I don't really care what anyone else thinks.


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## AnFa (Jan 11, 2013)

I would absolutely love to say no. I really, really would. Strangely I have a feeling that is the opposite of others in this thread. If you would of have asked me 3-4 years ago I would of said no chance in hell. Now though(23 btw) I would probably say yes. Since HS I've had a cruel awakening that this world I live in just isn't made for FA's. Especially ones like myself that find women 350lbs- and up to be the most attractive. As much as I might wish the world was Dimensions, or Tumblr it's not. Nobody, not a race, not another sexuality like homosexuality, not a religion, or creed is scrutinized, made fun of, or demonized in our media more than overweight women. Yes, women get it much harder than men. Magazines, commercials, websites, talk shows, radio, podcasts, movies... Why? Because they're the last. The beautiful fat woman we FA's all adore so much are the last group out there that is publicly thought of as acceptable to speak so illy of, and face no scrutiny for it. And as long as they can hide behind the masks of "Health Concerns" it will sadly never end. 

Because of this so many beautiful BBWs and SSBBWs despise the same bodies that we all adore, and a the large majority of thin women dread even the thought of any kind of weight gain. The most frustrating thing though, is sometimes they are right. There can be legit health concerns, which can lead to the very stressful "FA Guilt"

So the life of an FA, at least myself can become difficult with all of this. A lot of BBW's dislike FA's, a lot of FA's dislike FA's, and the majority of non FA's think we are a bunch of fetishized freaks. Understandably so I guess. A lot of us are pretty shallow by nature. We can also be very difficult to satisfy I find. Well I feel like I'm just ranting at this point so I'll cut to the chase, if I could stop only being PHYSICALLY attracted to a body that is considered to be, and can be unhealthy, a body that most women hate, a body that society has basically deemed as almost criminal to have, a body that in all honesty can be pretty hard to find , would I? 

Yes.

BUT, only because it has personally caused myself, and women that have been in my life more stress than it has pleasure at this point. The facts is I love fat women. Really, really fat women. I love a woman with a huge belly, rolls, butt, thighs, arms, calves, you name it. I love a huge, and beautiful woman. But sadly no matter what anybody on here might say most of those women do not love themselves, and at the end of the day their bodies, and their happiness is more important than our sexuality. 

I have the feeling this just sounds like a bunch of nonsensical rambling, and I'll probably be bashed, but anyways... I love being an FA, I love what I find attractive, and I will always be an FA, but in a hypothetical world, yes I would change it. 

PS I am with somebody now, she is a beautiful BBW, and we are both very happy!


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## ClashCityRocker (Jan 16, 2013)

if i did, i wouldnt be the same person.

so no.


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## Miskatonic (Jan 17, 2013)

I wouldn't change. Being into big women is a big part of my identity and makes me unique in my circle of friends. Well, not entirely unique. I DO have friends who are also into big women. But still, it's a part of who I am and I wouldn't change who I am for the world.


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## J_Underscore (Jan 17, 2013)

NEVER!!!

We get to enjoy a lot of things other people don't and it makes each of us unique as there's lots of different tastes within our love for big girls


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## ODFFA (Jan 18, 2013)

Even if I had the power to change my attraction so that I would be as genuinely attracted to skinny/muscular guys as I am to BHMs in reality, I wouldn't do it either. Despite the fact that it could perhaps make things slightly easier on me society-wise, I wouldn't want it any other way. 

I like the fact that I see so many things to appreciate in a BHM, I like that I find certain 'ordinary' aspects of life and people sexy and I like that my attractions are symbolic to me (e.g. symbolic of strength, gentleness and other great qualities).

So, no. Hell no


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## GordoNegro (Jan 18, 2013)

Regardless of the challenges, I've had no regrets and glad I'm not like everyone else. It feels good to be in your own world literally with someone inspite of positive or negative attention/reactions. As much as it has been a challenge, I've enjoyed my time at bbw clubs when I was off weekends.


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## waldo (Feb 14, 2015)

I missed this thread back then, but though I would resurrect it. Seems like the enduring question that faces us who identify as "FA"



Jay West Coast said:


> Growing up, I certainly wished I could unwire my FA-ness. When you're insecure, its easy to attribute your insecurities to whatever things make you different. But over time, you learn to delight in those same things, because those are the things that make your story yours. And some of them may very well be God-given attributes that you only understand later their true value.
> 
> Honestly, I feel privileged to be an FA. Sometimes I feel like its afforded me the opportunity to date "way above my pay grade"--women that are so beautiful inside and out that I can't fathom how they'd like me back. Without being an FA, I may never have fully understood how beautiful they really were.
> 
> I'm lucky to have it, and I'm glad its something that could never change.



So wise. I agree it is a privilege to be 'different' seeing the beauty to which others are oblivious, and (as outsiders) we can also identify with the prejudices that others face. But most importantly, to be outside the 'norm' makes the bond between FA and the BBW more powerful than that of the average Joe/Jane relationship. I.e. it is us against the world. 



ChubbyChaserDave said:


> If I had the power to change it? If someone had asked me that back when I was in highschool and first finding out, odds are I probably would have said yes, but now, I don't think I want to anymore. The fact that it's harder to find a woman that I'm also sexually attracted to is still an inconvenience and I still worry about the possible health complications it could have on my partner while secretly hoping there is a way for her to stay healthy and chub there are some non sexual benefits to it as well that I like. Even for non sexual cuddling, BBW's win that one easily because they're soft and cuddly. At this point, I no longer care if my people think I'm weird or sick because of it cause if they're my friends it doesn't matter and it really doesn't do much if someone says "oh you can do better" because their version of better is really worse for me. At this point, the only drawbacks really are the difficulty finding a partner and worrying about her health, and since some are lucky enough to be plus sized and still live to their 70's or 80's, the difficulty finding a partner is really the only one that is a serious problem.



Yeah the thing that keeps bugging me lately is that homosexuality (once widely considered an abomination) is becoming more and more 'mainstream'. BUT being an FA is still mostly seen as an unhealthy 'fetish' and marginalized. The fact that being fat is more likely to lead to health problems seems like the enduring excuse for society to continue marginalizing FAs.

It makes our life more challenging, but still worth persevering to find the love with a BBW (BHM) who can reciprocate.

Happy Valentines to everyone !!!:kiss2:


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## The Orange Mage (Feb 14, 2015)

The Orange Mage said:


> My answer has changed. I wouldn't change the FA part, not even the fact that I lean towards the SSBBW end of the pool. I'd just get rid of the feedery part. The fat fetishy part. That's all.



Hahaha this post I quoted was made in the summer of 2011, and six months after I posted this I met a supersized feedee and married her about two years after that so again, AHHAHAHAHAHHA


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## MattB (Feb 14, 2015)

No need for analysis, I wouldn't change a thing.


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## Forgotten_Futures (Feb 16, 2015)

Well, it would be nice to be able to fantasize about non-FA topics, especially since I'm perfectly well attracted to the smaller/thinner ladies (within reason) in addition to the thicker ones. If I could tweak that, I would. Otherwise, my FAness is the least of my sexual concerns.


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## Xyantha Reborn (Feb 18, 2015)

I used to want to tone it down...but I realized so few women seem to be able to achieve an orgasm, let alone regularly. At least I have my "thing" and it works for me, which is more than many have...


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## Jah (Feb 18, 2015)

I'm an FFA and proud of it. Never would I want to change it.


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## Fred2 (Mar 15, 2015)

There have been times when I lamented why am I an FA. Having a magazine bikini model naked in my bed being one of them, and being soft, shutting my eyes and thinking about my 500 pound friend. Coulda been the man in the eyes of my friends but instead they used to wonder if I was gay. Losing my virginity to a 52 year old italian bbw from the Internet was a tiresome secret. Brushing off why I was friends with ssbbw women on MySpace . 

All in all though, I have to pinch myself when I'm in bed with a ssbbw. It's truly heaven, it's just hard to explain to family and friends 400, 500, 550 pound women make me happy


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## Gordi (Mar 15, 2015)

Always been attracted to BHM!! They are the best to hug and cuddle with!! Always been a FFA :bow:


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## Highsteppa (Mar 19, 2015)

Never really felt like I wanted to change what I feel was hard-wired in me in the first place. I'm pretty happy with the person I am, and have been for a very, very long time.


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## kingmangoly (Apr 23, 2015)

I would never ever want to lose the attraction I have to big girls. It's all I've ever known and it makes me happy. I do however wish it wasn't so specific. 

So many times, particularly during my adolescence, I met lovely girls who I knew were beautiful and I really liked them but as much as I wanted to be attracted to them I just wasn't because they weren't fat enough.


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## thewhitestripesfan42 (Apr 28, 2015)

I'd definitely change my preference. It's so tearing the way I feel when a fat girl tells me she wants to lose weight. Part of me wants her to be happy and healthy by losing weight, which I know is controversial here. The other part feels like I won't be attracted to this wonderful woman anymore. Being fat can be healthy, but only up to a point. It hurts being attracted to someone who obviously has so many health issues. If I wasn't an fa anymore I wouldn't have to worry about any of this anymore. The only moral benefit I can see from being an fa is providing love, care, and support to someone who doesn't get much of it.


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## TwoSwords (Jan 28, 2017)

The Orange Mage said:


> would you? How?



If by "change" you mean "not appreciate fatness anymore," the answer is no.

Sometimes, though, I do wish I was also able to appreciate the beauty of thin people. I don't have this ability, and it's excluded me from a lot of things in my life.


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## socrates74 (Jan 29, 2017)

Then I would have to change my past, memories, and romantic involvement with relationships past. So? I would have to be *reprogrammed*....maybe in a science fiction way (that swartzenegger film _Total Recall_, director Kubrick's _A Clockwork Orange_ ...or any other fictional film ( anybody?)


Part 2
--------
So why feel the need to be at DIMs? - I guess it fills a gap?(shrug).. An intellect/understanding outlet? I don't even 'know' if I-am-a-hardcore,card-carrying-DIMs-approved-"fat"-admirer...I know me, I know my patterns...but its the 'attraction' phase of a relationship , that I return to.. It is not like I feel guilt over it. Like 'society' is breathing down my neck or pressuring me about it..Society don't care (for 99% of time,) and _what-do-I-care-if-they-care?_. You get your own relationship and I get mine. If a person is into red haired people ; do 'we' really care? Its 'one' aspect in the multi-aspect world of being-a-couple. Am I going to feed a woman to enlarge her/change her? Why? I would chase after an even bligger person if-that-was-my-thing. Cut-out-the-middle-phase. In my mind, individualistically; _its nonsense_. That's me. I am not trying to convert anyone. I am not coupling--up or feeling-attraction to be rebellious, either. Changing the quality ( and _sometimes_ flawed) women I-have-been-with is not my thing.. cause majority of them 'have been _ hot_'. But that is for me to know, and someone else to 'miss out on'. Just cause a person is BBW, does not mean everything else works. I chose the power and take-the-power but it does not mean I have to convert to BHM status either. OR not allow BHM a place in society or disrespect BBW/BHM/non-BBW/non-BHM that are attracted to them.



Part 3
-------------
So, here comes the complexity ( if anyone is still reading _ or_ cares.
Couples tend to adopt the _habits or lifestyle_ of their partner. and its often a daily negotiation (IMO). So, who in a LTR ( long term relationship ( dating slang) changes who? Do they meet in the middle....or??????? ( other contrast FA relationships may vary). Its not like you wake up and 'say, oh crap. I got fat and its all her/his fault.' 
I didn't see this coming ( even though I changed to their habits) IMO, it is an intellectual cop-out).


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## knightmare870 (Feb 1, 2017)

In the last 5 years, I've gone rounds with myself in all of my attraction to larger women. I love the rolls, curves, and ladies with more bounce to the ounce. Even as far as liking several pages on Facebook expressing my interest in them. Much to my mother-in-law dismay. I've always wanted a big woman and proud that my wife has given me the opportunity for it. As much social stigma is out there, I wouldn't change it for the world. I love being a FA, I love seeing all sorts of BBW and SSBBW on here, Facebook, and all over the world. I would rather the world change than me.


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## Broseph (Aug 11, 2019)

An old thread, but I’ll bite—I wouldn’t change it. No way. I’m attracted to bbw/ssbbws, especially big bellies, and am happy with that. Funny, I’ve even had a fear that I might lose my attraction! Doubt that will ever happen.

Now I haven’t always thought this way: there were years when I wished I _could_ change. I think some FAs are fortunate enough to dodge the shame bullet and that’s terrific. Many of us aren’t. That’s ok too. 

Once of my nonFA friends told me he thinks it’s cool to be an FA and that he feels really ‘normal‘. This last bit he said with a sort of lament, as if he might be missing out on something!


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## kinkykitten (Aug 11, 2019)

Not for one moment!!!!


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## Shotha (Aug 12, 2019)

We were recently asked in a get-to-know-each other session at Sanskrit camp what we would like to come back as. People gave all kinds of fantastic answers. I said that I wanted to come back as me, because it's what I know how to do best and I might do it better next time.

If I had the power to change my FA-ness, I wouldn't. I like being a fat man. I wouldn't ever want to be thin. And I love being an FA. I can't imagine being so passionate about anything other than fat people.


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## Blockierer (Aug 24, 2019)

It's to late to change my FA-ness. I have 2 tattoos of SSBBW on my skin. If I'd change my FA-ness how could I explain why I have these tats.


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## Shotha (Aug 24, 2019)

I was FA as far back as I can remember. I thought that fat people were wonderful at the age of 4, maybe earlier. Of course, I didn't realize how much more wonderful I was going to find them, when puberty arrived. If it goes back that far, then I think that I would no longer be me, if my FA-ness were to suddenly no longer be part of me. So, no, I would never want to stop being FA.


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## HUGEisElegant (Aug 24, 2019)

I love being an FA and to be honest, I can't think of anything about it I'd change...other than the fact that I'm not with anyone at the moment. Hopefully that eventually changes.  The only thing I can think of would be certain outside influences/negativities. I suppose if I could change one thing, it would be to eliminate _all_ negativity from being an FA/FFA or a person of size. It would be my wish that we could all just be accepted by others, and that there wouldn't any negativity for being someone of size, or loving/being attracted to someone of size. Big is not only beautiful, but being so is just as worthy and equal as _anyone_ else on this planet. This world needs more happiness and inclusivity, so if I had one wish, it would be that.


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## Shotha (Aug 25, 2019)

I think that we need to embrace the word "fat" more enthusiastically. Fat is beautiful. We need to use it in positive contexts like, "I started dating a handsome fat guy." I prefer not to use the word "big" as a euphemism for "fat". I describe myself as "fat" or "big and fat". There are people, who are big without being fat. We can't expect greater acceptance of fat people, if we cannot accept for ourselves that we are fat and/or find fat people attractive. It would help to make it easier for emerging FA's to accept their FA-ness, if we didn't shun the word "fat".


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## Colonial Warrior (Aug 28, 2019)

I will want to lose some of my belly just because I'm getting older and I have some mobility problems. For the rest and my attraction for tall SSBBW's it's okay!


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## goodman4ssbbw (Aug 28, 2019)

A leopard cannot change its spots.


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## Colonial Warrior (Aug 28, 2019)

goodman4ssbbw said:


> A leopard cannot change its spots.


It's the same like the tigers and zebras don't lose their stripes!


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