# Question for BBW/SSBBW



## FatAndProud (Mar 24, 2007)

I was wondering if any of you bigger girls (300lbs+) ever felt like, how do I put this, insecure or something, when a proclaimed FA also finds skinny women to be attractive?

I know I do occasionally. It's weird. 

Thoughts? Questions and explanations (haha my Geometry teacher used to say that five times in a row really fast, OCD)?


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## Tina (Mar 24, 2007)

No, because many people find beauty in a variety of sizes. To me, what is more important -- much more important -- is the manifestation of that attraction, and does s/he claim to be an FA but seems really to only look at skinnies?


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## AnnMarie (Mar 24, 2007)

I guess it depends on what you mean by attractive. I mean, I know lots of FAs who think some stars are sexy... generally because of something about them that translates for them (full hips or a roundish face). They'd probably only want to date them if they got a lot bigger, but they still see their beauty. 

As I've stated in other places... if they'd just as easily date a size 6 or a size 30... then I don't "personally" consider them a "FA"... they're just a guy who'll date anyone. That's fine, nothing wrong with it... just not what I am looking for due to my own experience dating guys who date skinny girls, guys who date both, and guys who prefer to date only large girls. I like the latter.

But if they're dating you, and into you and treating you the way you want to be treated, and he just happens to be able to look at different women and say "she's cute" (maybe with a "even cuter with 100 more lbs! " )... then it's fine. If he's drooling over pics of thin girls all over the place, or if Penelope Cruz is on his freebie list... then we've got a whole different problem.


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## LillyBBBW (Mar 24, 2007)

I guess that depends on the guy. Any guy I meet is going to find other women attractive so I guess there's no escaping that. Even the most deadpan secure person in the world can be driven insane by a person whose head is always rolling around the world to look at other men/women whenever they go out. Just because a guy likes women of all sorts doesn't necessarily mean anything bad I suppose. If you like the guy give him a test drive, see how it goes. If he gives you a bad vibe then let him be somebody else's problem. Men who only dig fat chicks can make you feel pretty awful too. I don't know about anyone else but I personally don't need any help feeling bad about themself.


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## Havarti (Mar 24, 2007)

FatAndProud said:


> I was wondering if any of you bigger girls (300lbs+) ever felt like, how do I put this, insecure or something, when a proclaimed FA also finds skinny women to be attractive?



I consider myself to be a FA. I _prefer_ fat women, but it is my _preference_, and not an absolute. This does not mean that I don't find some thin women to be very attractive, if I liked her as a person then that's who I would be with. Basically I am with who I am with. Am I making sense?


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## Emma (Mar 24, 2007)

FatAndProud said:


> I was wondering if any of you bigger girls (300lbs+) ever felt like, how do I put this, insecure or something, when a proclaimed FA also finds skinny women to be attractive?
> 
> I know I do occasionally. It's weird.
> 
> Thoughts? Questions and explanations (haha my Geometry teacher used to say that five times in a row really fast, OCD)?



YES! YES! I really do. I don't like it, I somehow feel offended by it and I dunno it's hard to explain. I think I want them to be really really into fat girls and if they find thin girls attractive too then it's not right for me lol


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## leslieboonefan2 (Mar 24, 2007)

interesting question, maybe the guy has more flexibility, he could date the 400 lb girl one day, and go mountain climbing or hang gliding or whatever with the 120 lb girl the next day, but the 400 lb women is still a sbbw.


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## Allie Cat (Mar 24, 2007)

I'm kinda weird. I find people attractive more because of personality than size, though I do prefer bigger girls... but I could just as easily date a skinny girl if she was nice.

Yet when I'm out and about and a pretty girl catches my eye... she's always squishy. 

=Divals


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## Waxwing (Mar 24, 2007)

I think this is analogous-- 

I understand the feeling a bit slighted by someone who doesn't exclusively (or very nearly) prefer your shape. Like I tend to not date guys who have some serious love for the large boob, because that's just not me, and never will be, and I always wonder if secretly they're imagining my chest as a majestic landscape instead of a sleek portrait. 

I think that we all want to be with someone who digs our type, over any other. It feels good. I think there's more fear of someone straying when you're not the 'type'. I don't know if that fear is rational, but it's there.

You want someone to have exactly what they want in you.


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## The Orange Mage (Mar 24, 2007)

You're all making this overly complicated.

FA's CAN find that non-fat-women are attractive. By that, they LOOK GOOD.

But I would think most FA could not see themselves having a good physical relationship with said skinny women.

In other words, a skinny woman my look good, but she probably won't "feel" good to a FA.


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## pickleman357 (Mar 24, 2007)

Hmm... interesting. different ideas pop into my head when I think about this...

- If a guy is only attracted to one type of woman, his g/f has less compitition...

- The woman could think that the guy isn't really into fat women, he's just faking it. For reasons of distrust, or self-worth vs the cover-of-cosmo propoganda

Not sure, but then again, I'm a not a shrink, I'm just some guy with a keyboard and an internet connection  

Now about finding other women beautiful.

I can find other women beautiful but that doesn't nessisarily mean that I'm attracted to them. I can find a flower beautiful, but that doesn't mean you'll see me humping the rose bushes later on. :huh:


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## BothGunsBlazing (Mar 24, 2007)

Hmm, you know, it's sort of the opposite effect for men who dislike fat woman, eh? I've often wondered you know, if some men think fat women are so nasty .. how are they gettin' it up long enough to sleep with them after they've gotten ahold of them? I know a bunch of ribs sticking out is an instant turn off for me. I guess it can't be that bad afterall.

I do have the whole "which celebrity is hot" discussion with my friends sometimes and it's usually involving thin women, but the pickins are slim when it comes to attractive notable fat women in Hollywood. True story.

Whenever I see a thin woman I find attractive, oddly the first thing that comes to mind is "does she have plumpability" as in .. would she look good with another 50-100lbs? Whenever I have this discussion with my friends I always seem to choose an actress who I think would look good fat and have the potential to become so. Drew Barrymore/Kelly Clarkson .. those types.

I am totally babbling right now, but I completely understand why a guy telling you he is also into thin chicks when you are fat would make you feel somewhat uncomfortable. Everyone knows it's more socially acceptable to like thin women and all .. so it certainly leaves a bigger opening for .. uhm, you know, taking the easier route.


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## supersoup (Mar 24, 2007)

i don't see anything wrong with finding beauty in all sizes, but if it's a constant thing, then i would definitely be questioning his claim to fa-dom.


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## furious styles (Mar 24, 2007)

since this question is apparently aimed at the likes of me >_>

it's already been summarized here by several posters, but there's a difference between finding people good looking and being _attracted_ to them.

guys who like skinny girls think : "man what a pretty girl. she'd be pretty hot if she lost some weight"

me think : "man what a pretty girl. she'd be pretty hot if she gained some weight"

simple enough?


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## KnottyOne (Mar 24, 2007)

I dont think it is really fare to hold any guy to one type of women. Men have prefrences, some guys like big girls, some like short girls, some like red heads. Being paranoid because you are only a prefrence seems kind of strange. I mean I dated a girl whose prefrence was blonde tall guys, of which I am neither. I never felt threatened by them though, she was with me not the important part. And with guys, I see nothing wrong with being a lover of all women. I feel those guys are more real. They admit they find the female form in it's entire spectrum beautiful. I'm one of those guys, I'm not gonna hold myself down to one "type of woman". My thought is go for the cutest with the best personality. Let's say a girl that is my type and in the sense of personalities and looks is a 6, and a girl who isn't my type is a 9, I'm goin for the 9 everytime. I mean, I'm not an FA by any means, I find beauty in every female form. I do love big girls, i do love skinny girls, I love all girls inbetween. I think holdin anyone down to one type of person, either by themselves or by others is extremely insincere and is just lieing to yourself. If your all about one type, that is cool and I can respect that, but I'll never be that way


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## Tooz (Mar 24, 2007)

FatAndProud said:


> I was wondering if any of you bigger girls (300lbs+) ever felt like, how do I put this, insecure or something, when a proclaimed FA also finds skinny women to be attractive?



I do feel this way. Why? Well, because I fear, deep down, that they actuallt PREFER skinny women like most everyone else does.


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## elle camino (Mar 24, 2007)

KnottyOne said:


> I mean, I'm not an FA by any means


really?
interesting choice of messageboards, then.


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## KnottyOne (Mar 24, 2007)

elle camino said:


> really?
> interesting choice of messageboards, then.



<<<<<< Recovering anorexic, part of my recovery. Find people who are confident with their weight and it might help you be good with yours. At least thats wut my therapist said. It's been workin so far.


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## elle camino (Mar 24, 2007)

interesting!


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## BothGunsBlazing (Mar 24, 2007)

Tooz said:


> I do feel this way. Why? Well, because I fear, deep down, that they actuallt PREFER skinny women like most everyone else does.



like I said, it's also really easy for a guy who likes thin girls as well to decide that a relationship with a skinny girl would just be more easier and pressure free. No worries about what other people would think or anything like that. 

That isn't me though. I'm a slave to the squish. haha


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## Tooz (Mar 24, 2007)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> like I said, it's also really easy for a guy who likes thin girls as well to decide that a relationship with a skinny girl would just be more easier and pressure free. No worries about what other people would think or anything like that.
> 
> That isn't me though. I'm a slave to the squish. haha



Good to know.


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## Blackjack (Mar 24, 2007)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> I'm a slave to the squish



I will rep the hell out of you if you'll put this as your member title when you can... because by repping it'll get you there sooner.


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## elle camino (Mar 24, 2007)

Tooz said:


> I do feel this way. Why? Well, because I fear, deep down, that they actuallt PREFER skinny women like most everyone else does.



also: exactly. 
(i need to make like an extra button for my keyboard that quotes tooz's posts and adds 'exactly.')

seriously, at this point in my life, i'm through dating guys who could take or leave my fat, are simply _tolerating_ my fat, any of that. and among the many reasons why, is the fact that FAT AND SKINNY ARE VERY DIFFERENT THINGS. they look completely different, they feel completely different, and while i'll buy that a person CAN legitimately be attracted to fat and skinny bodies, it would be nearly impossible for one person to be completely equally attracted to both. one of them has got to take precedence. and seeing as i live in the world and i have sensory capabilities and a brain, it's natural for me to assume that, like most dudes, if given a choice they'd like their women smaller. 
which leaves you in this shitty relationship limbo, where you're _fairly_ confident that the person you're with is attracted to you physically, but not as much as he would be if you were to lose weight. 
which sucks! trust me.

and near as i can tell, the way to avoid this, if you're a fat girl, is to only date boys who identify as FA's. no qualifications, just: i like fat. i prefer it. it's what i want. 
THEN you can be confident and comfortable, and THEN you can relax and enjoy yourself.


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## furious styles (Mar 24, 2007)

elle camino said:


> also: exactly.
> (i need to make like an extra button for my keyboard that quotes tooz's posts and adds 'exactly.')
> 
> seriously, at this point in my life, i'm through dating guys who could take or leave my fat, are simply _tolerating_ my fat, any of that. and among the many reasons why, is the fact that FAT AND SKINNY ARE VERY DIFFERENT THINGS. they look completely different, they feel completely different, and while i'll buy that a person CAN legitimately be attracted to fat and skinny bodies, it would be nearly impossible for one person to be completely equally attracted to both. one of them has got to take precedence. and seeing as i live in the world and i have sensory capabilities and a brain, it's natural for me to assume that, like most dudes, if given a choice they'd like their women smaller.
> ...



or you can all just go out w/ me


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## AnnMarie (Mar 24, 2007)

elle camino said:


> and near as i can tell, the way to avoid this, if you're a fat girl, is to only date boys who identify as FA's. no qualifications, just: i like fat. i prefer it. it's what i want.
> THEN you can be confident and comfortable, and THEN you can relax and enjoy yourself.



I know it wasn't me that brought you to that thinking, but hearing it makes me feel like a proud mama duck watching her duckling waddle off for the first time.

We deserve confidence in our mate's attraction to us... ambiguity may work for some people, but for others... not so much. I admire anyone's ability to like one thing or the other just as equally, but I want a guy who sees a hot fat girl and that's what really makes his motor run. Her skinny twin sister is missing a little "sumthin'".


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## liz (di-va) (Mar 24, 2007)

Going back to the original post--she was asking this about people who _are_ "proclaimed FAs." Not people who are everybody-daters. Although, in a way, I'm not sure that changes the question that much...? I guess it depends on what you mean by "attracted to," FAP.

This is making me remember...I once had a dumbass fling with this dude who surprised me by saying something straight-up salacious about Britney Spears. I was like...what the hell, man. Mostly I was surprised by his lack of taste, but also I was thinking errrr....why....you chasin _me_? In his case (not generalizing) this was a clue that despite some pomo backpedaling he was just a jerk and a tacky mistake and it was *my* taste that I shoulda been questioning. Hah.  Although--note--I was blinded by him being one of _MY_ favorite physical types! See how that works? Freakin cyclical. Lust is dumb sometimes.

Anyhow, there are lots of types of dudes I find attractive. I like when people--m, f--appreciate others' beauty in general, especially if it is demonstration of their ability to see unique things in the world around them. So I guess it doesn't bother me if an FA finds others attractive--would find it weird if they didn't--provided we're talking about normal human reactions here and not a pathological desire to slobber over others/passively make statements, which is tacky and crazy-making. 

But there is that difference between attraction/appreciation and.....igottagitwiththat. I like the FAness. I like--seek out--guys who when they get down dirty to it like (and appreciate) the bigness, however they're noticing the rest of the world. Not sure which part of all this "attraction" covers...


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## Tooz (Mar 24, 2007)

elle camino said:


> seriously, at this point in my life, i'm through dating guys who could take or leave my fat, are simply _tolerating_ my fat, any of that.



fksdhgfsdlfojsdoiuf YES. Lord, yes a million times over.


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## TearInYourHand (Mar 24, 2007)

elle camino said:


> FAT AND SKINNY ARE VERY DIFFERENT THINGS. they look completely different, they feel completely different, and while i'll buy that a person CAN legitimately be attracted to fat and skinny bodies, it would be nearly impossible for one person to be completely equally attracted to both. one of them has got to take precedence.



It seems to me that this kind of argument could be used to claim that no one could ever be bisexual.

Men and women are very different. You HAVE to be either predominantly GAY or STRAIGHT. There's no way you could be attracted to both equally...see my point? And, for some people who identify as bi, that's how it is. They ARE pretty attracted to both.

Sorri if ths is off on a tangent. I DO see your point, Elle. As a fellow fat chick, I also prefer the FA. I fear that we may be doing this out of insecurity however, and pushing away some really cool guys who actually can be attracted to big and small women alike.

Sorry for the ramble, I hope I made myself clear...


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## liz (di-va) (Mar 24, 2007)

TearInYourHand said:


> As a fellow fat chick, I also prefer the FA. I fear that we may be doing this out of insecurity however, and pushing away some really cool guys who actually can be attracted to big and small women alike.



Yeah, but just to note--preferring FAs doesn't eliminate insecurity. There's a whole world of hot fat girls out there to be "jealous of," a whole other minefield, if jealousy or insecurity is the issue. In a way, it can even be worse, that kinda thinking.


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## liz (di-va) (Mar 24, 2007)

I'm going to shut up now. Need to have fun.



mfdoom said:


> or you can all just go out w/ me



Shall we all go out on the world's most lopsided date tonight? Can you handle this?


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## furious styles (Mar 24, 2007)

do you not think i'm ready for this jelly?


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## BigCutieAriel (Mar 24, 2007)

I've all my life dated guys who before me had only dated skinny girls and it never seemed to bother me I figure if someone loves you or likes you. Who really cares if there attracted to different types of women as long as there with you and not trying to be with others I don't think its a big deal. But I can say after those guys dated me they becasme open to dating bigger girls after me and they would


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## liz (di-va) (Mar 24, 2007)

mfdoom said:


> do you not think i'm ready for this jelly?



see, that's the kind of can-do, entrepreneurial FA spirit we're looking for in our organization--


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## MisticalMisty (Mar 24, 2007)

TearInYourHand said:


> It seems to me that this kind of argument could be used to claim that no one could ever be bisexual.
> 
> Men and women are very different. You HAVE to be either predominantly GAY or STRAIGHT. There's no way you could be attracted to both equally...see my point? And, for some people who identify as bi, that's how it is. They ARE pretty attracted to both.
> 
> ...



There's no insecurity to it. There are threads upon threads of how women just feel different with FAs. Sex with an FA is completely different than with a man who can be attracted to any size. 

I want a man that is into my fat 120%. I want his hands over EVERY 360lb inch of me..not just on the "good parts" so to speak. 

I don't feel like I'm missing out..I feel like I'm waiting on something spectacular....cause let me tell you honey..love making with an FA is freaking out of this world.


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## elle camino (Mar 24, 2007)

TearInYourHand said:


> It seems to me that this kind of argument could be used to claim that no one could ever be bisexual.


you know, hilariously enough, while i was typing that post i thought to myself about how similar it sounds to a lot of the 'can a bisexual person really equitably be attracted to both genders, with neither one edging the other out at ALL?' debates i've had with my friends. 
and there have been a good number of those. 
mainly because we're just a really opinionated and talkative group of people. 

at any rate, i kinda feel like my opinions on both issues are parallel, more or less. 
how's that for commitment to a statement!


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## furious styles (Mar 24, 2007)

liz (di-va) said:


> see, that's the kind of can-do, entrepreneurial FA spirit we're looking for in our organization--



i guess you'll just have to promote _me_ to manager! heheh. heh.


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## AnnMarie (Mar 24, 2007)

elle camino said:


> you know, hilariously enough, while i was typing that post i thought to myself about how similar it sounds to a lot of the 'can a bisexual person really equitably be attracted to both genders, with neither one edging the other out at ALL?' debates i've had with my friends.
> and there have been a good number of those.
> mainly because we're just a really opinionated and talkative group of people.
> 
> ...



Funny thing is that I know bi people who like both fat men and women, and also bi people who like one type fat, one type skinny... so figure that part into the equation and wait for your head to explode! 



And in general, about this thread, I know what "I prefer".... so ultimately that's all that matters. I know how I like to be treated and touched and looked at, and IF that showed up one day in a guy who dates super skinny and super fat chicks, so be it. 

But I'm not holding my breath, I have yet to meet a non-FA who is subconsciously driven to stroke and touch my uppper arm fat as a sign of affection when we're out or watching tv or something.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 24, 2007)

I know you asked for opinions of 300+ sized ladies but I'm not skinny myself so I hope you don't mind if I go ahead and reply. I was married to one of those guys that like ladies of "all sizes". Any feelings of insecurity I had with him were all related to the ideology inside my own head and not his liking thinner girls. Actually, it was the knowledge that he was also attracted to heavier women that helped me to feel better about myself.
I understand where you *might* be coming from (maybe Im totally wrong?), it seems like you now have to worry about him liking such a broad range of females. Think about it- a thin woman with a guy that prefers them only NEVER worries when she's sees one of us fatties in the room with the guy. Is it the same with us larger ladies and FAs? Us larger ladies don't have to worry about the skinny girls taking all the guys when we're in the company of FAs. But when it comes to those "broad range preference" guys, you have to never know who your guy might like. I don't know or profess to know... just trying to brain storm for some ideas. 

When I was married, it didn't bother me that he might be noticing a thinner women. Gee, would it somehow be "better" if I thought he was noticing a larger woman instead? What difference does it REALLY make? 
On some level, "noticing" attractive people is a natural part of our biology. It's what the person chooses to do after noticing that can be damaging to a relationship. Worrying more about making a good relationship with a guy that likes you how you are and helps you to feel secure in a relationship with him seems more important than just being with a guy that "only likes the big girls". Guys that like the big girls are still like other men- just a different preference. Some are trustworthy- others are not. Some make you feel good about yourself- others don't. *shrugs*

I know the last guy I dated had mostly been with thin women. After a conversation with him, it came out that I was the largest he had ever been with as in his gf before me wasn't thin but not as big as me but all the others were thin ( I haven't weighed myself in a long time but know I must be well over the 230 pound mark and I am short).
This knowledge would have made me VERY INSECURE in my younger days but I was cool with it (I'm older now and have decided not to beat myself up anymore- I see myself more now as I really am and don't allow myself to put myself down every time I look in the mirror or see myself in my mind). In a way, when I think about it, it makes me feel good. He likes thin women but IS attracted to me. I can tell he liked my body (though my usual insecurities were taking precedence in the beginning when we had sex I soon realized he wasn't "turned off" by me- actually it was quite a silly notion when I think back about how often this guy wanted to sleep with me  ). I like to think that perhaps I opened his mind up to a different preference - and gave myself some good revelations that helped to change my body image.

If he is with you, then he likes YOU. A man isn't going to be ask out a woman he doesn't find attractive. So don't worry over it. He's going to notice other women on occasion (just like I'm sure you can't help but noticing some other breath-taking guy on occasion) but that doesn't mean he isn't yours - always and forever  No other woman- fat or thin- can take him away if you're the one he wants and you maintain a good, healthy relationship with him.


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## LoveBHMS (Mar 24, 2007)

I'm an FFA, one with a clearly not too creative screen name. At any rate, this is just my own take on it.

I like big men, but I've been attracted to skinny men without feeling like anything was missing or wishing they were bigger. In most cases, the skinny guys were either guys I started dating when they were fat who lost weight, or guys who attracted me for some reason apart from looks (one was a very brilliant and funny coworker) and once I was drawn in, didn't really care that they might not be the type who would turn my head in a bar.

The only ones it's made a difference to were the guys. When you're with a fat guy who knows you're an FFA, they say they feel more confident, not self conscious, and more sexy because they know the woman is *in to* how they look. 

Are there particular experiences you can only have with bigger men? Yes. But really, it is all about the person, not the body type.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 24, 2007)

LillyBBBW said:


> I guess that depends on the guy. Any guy I meet is going to find other women attractive so I guess there's no escaping that. Even the most deadpan secure person in the world can be driven insane by a person whose head is always rolling around the world to look at other men/women whenever they go out. Just because a guy likes women of all sorts doesn't necessarily mean anything bad I suppose. If you like the guy give him a test drive, see how it goes. If he gives you a bad vibe then let him be somebody else's problem. Men who only dig fat chicks can make you feel pretty awful too. I don't know about anyone else but I personally don't need any help feeling bad about themself.




Good point- if he's one of those guys that you always seem to be catching looking at other women while he's with you- then he's not worth your bother. Anyone will feel insecure with a man like that....no matter what his preference.


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## activistfatgirl (Mar 24, 2007)

Liz and mfdoom, you guys made me LOL.

I'm way down with FAs being into thin partners also. I suppose this comes from being an FA too. I was out last night with a lady bigger than I and I'm way down with it. But a thin girl can make it work too. Of course, once you go fat...its not that you never go back...its just that you do sorely miss its absence. And by sore I mean in the achy genitals way.

ETA: But, as we've droned on about for page after page, I'm also solidly in the "I want my lover to explode at the idea of me being fat" camp and while they can chase them some thinner girls, I want my partners to have part of their sexuality in that camp. Its just that I really think sexuality is complex and you can want it all. I do. I'm greedy.


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## LillyBBBW (Mar 24, 2007)

I know I'm going to get slapped around for this but even with bi sexual relationships there always seems to be one predominant preference. A member of my family is bi and was in the closet about it for years. He keeps a relatioship with women but fools around with men. Every now and then he gets religion and starts feeling guilty about what he's doing and whenever he does, the WOMAN is always the one who gets cut from the picture. Now I'm not trying to speak for everbody or say that there's no such thing as bi. All I'm saying is I don't want to invest my time only to be the one who gets cut from the picture. I've seen it happen in all kinds of configurations and it can devastate your whole world. It's up to a person to decide if it's worth the risk and for many people it just isn't.


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## Tina (Mar 24, 2007)

leslieboonefan2 said:


> interesting question, maybe the guy has more flexibility, he could date the 400 lb girl one day, and go mountain climbing or hang gliding or whatever with the 120 lb girl the next day, but the 400 lb women is still a sbbw.



And so, what does that mean?


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## AnnMarie (Mar 24, 2007)

Tina said:


> And so, what does that mean?



I was waiting for this... but chose not to be the one to do it. 

Besides, I like pottery. I don't expect my boyfriend to go with me... that's what I have OTHER friends for. 

Same difference. Plus, no matter what my weight, I won't be rock climbing, it's not my _thang_.


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## Tina (Mar 24, 2007)

Word for word: _exactly._

Dude, if you wanna climb all up there on that rock wall in your cute shorts, go for it. I'll sit and watch your backside as you climb...


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## liz (di-va) (Mar 24, 2007)

mfdoom said:


> i guess you'll just have to promote _me_ to manager! heheh. heh.



Hellodoomwhat'shappening. Um, I'm gonna need you go ahead and come in tomorrow. So if you could be here around nine, that would be greeeeeat. Oh, yeah, I forgot: I'm gonna also need you to come in Sunday too. We lost some people this week and we need to sorta catch up. Thanks.


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## AnnMarie (Mar 24, 2007)

Tina said:


> Word for word: _exactly._
> 
> Dude, if you wanna climb all up there on that rock wall in your cute shorts, go for it. I'll sit and watch your backside as you climb...



And be waiting with water and energy bars when you get back down. :wubu:


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## chocolate desire (Mar 24, 2007)

I dont mind if a guy I am seeing finds a thin girl sexy I dont know of one person that has just one form of perfect in their mind and closes the options for others being a potential mate.I find diffrent qualities make diffrent guy friends special.


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## LillyBBBW (Mar 24, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> And be waiting with water and energy bars when you get back down. :wubu:



And then the next day he can come with me to the Stitch 'n Bitch Convention.


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## AnnMarie (Mar 24, 2007)

LillyBBBW said:


> And then the next day he can come with me to the Stitch 'n Bitch Convention.



hahahaha


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## Tina (Mar 24, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> And be waiting with water and energy bars when you get back down. :wubu:



Yeah. And some other bonuses, but that would have to wait until we were someplace more secluded. :batting:


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## pickleman357 (Mar 24, 2007)

MisticalMisty said:


> I don't feel like I'm missing out..I feel like I'm waiting on something spectacular....cause let me tell you honey..love making with an FA is freaking out of this world.



Good point there.

If a guy knows what he wants, a big woman, and you're it, then he doesn't need anything else but you. But if he's still interested in a skinny woman... he can't find that in you and you would have reason to supect that he'll try and find it.

Hm. Yeah, I can see how that can be a problem.


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## furious styles (Mar 24, 2007)

liz (di-va) said:


> Hellodoomwhat'shappening. Um, I'm gonna need you go ahead and come in tomorrow. So if you could be here around nine, that would be greeeeeat. Oh, yeah, I forgot: I'm gonna also need you to come in Sunday too. We lost some people this week and we need to sorta catch up. Thanks.



i have no comeback for lumbergh ._.


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## AnnMarie (Mar 24, 2007)

pickleman357 said:


> Good point there.
> 
> If a guy knows what he wants, a big woman, and you're it, then he doesn't need anything else but you. But if he's still interested in a skinny woman... he can't find that in you and you would have reason to supect that he'll try and find it.
> 
> Hm. Yeah, I can see how that can be a problem.



And frankly, expanding on that thought process, if I were a skinny chick I'd never want to be with a guy who 98% of the time dated fat girls! I can't tell you how many FAs I know who ended up marrying nice, fun, great thin (who will rock climb with them! lol) girls, because they felt to hold out for the awesome fatty would be "shallow", and end up cheating with fat girls, chatting them up online, etc... because they have to have the fat fix. The thin girl may be a wonderful person, but at the end of the day, there is something he needs that just isn't there. 

Yeah, I'm sticking with my "want FA" stance, I'm totally comfortable here on the bench and waiting.


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## Krissy12 (Mar 24, 2007)

Interesting..interesting.

You know, I've been with men who said that they prefer larger girls before, but I've not been with someone who was into my fat, per se. They never stroked my belly or arms just to feel the fat. Which is sad, really. Who wanna touch me? 

Anywoo...I prefer.. Big, small, short, tall. I don't care one way or the other. It's totally personality for me. I know this because I can look at tight abs and think.."Yummy, Come to me!" and then look at a huge belly and think.."Yummy, Come to me!"

I could just be a big perv though.

I actually thought about which I would cut out of the picture if I *had* to, and it was just a sad thought that I would be limiting myself to body type when the man inside could be my soulmate.


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## AnnMarie (Mar 24, 2007)

Krissy12 said:


> Interesting..interesting.
> 
> You know, I've been with men who said that they prefer larger girls before, but I've not been with someone who was into my fat, per se. They never stroked my belly or arms just to feel the fat. Which is sad, really. Who wanna touch me?
> 
> ...



See, I don't doubt what you said at all. I can like all different heights and weights within a range and depending on other things I'll like different men for different reasons. But personally, I can not run the extremes as easily. Since I AM an extreme, I guess I want someone who's at least cruisin' my neighborhood when he finds me.


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## Ash (Mar 24, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> And frankly, expanding on that thought process, if I were a skinny chick I'd never want to be with a guy who 98% of the time dated fat girls! I can't tell you how many FAs I know who ended up marrying nice, fun, great thin (who will rock climb with them! lol) girls, because they felt to hold out for the awesome fatty would be "shallow", and end up cheating with fat girls, chatting them up online, etc... because they have to have the fat fix. The thin girl may be a wonderful person, but at the end of the day, there is something he needs that just isn't there.
> 
> Yeah, I'm sticking with my "want FA" stance, I'm totally comfortable here on the bench and waiting.



I concur. 

I want a guy who can't and won't settle for a thin chick. Not because he thinks thin chicks are ugly or repulsive, but because he is just SO into fatties that he'd never be satisfied with anything less.


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## AnnMarie (Mar 24, 2007)

Ashley said:


> Not because he thinks thin chicks are ugly or repulsive, but because he is just SO into fatties that he'd never be satisfied with anything less.



Exactly!!! It's about the "I know exactly who I am and things I want" that gets me. I figure if he's holding out for "me" then the least I can do is hold out for "him".


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## Allie Cat (Mar 24, 2007)

Krissy12 said:


> Interesting..interesting.
> 
> You know, I've been with men who said that they prefer larger girls before, but I've not been with someone who was into my fat, per se. They never stroked my belly or arms just to feel the fat. Which is sad, really. Who wanna touch me? .



I'll touch you :batting: 

=Divals


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## Krissy12 (Mar 24, 2007)

I never did make myself clear on whether or not I would date a guy based on his FAness or not..and honestly, I think it's one of those..once you go there, you never go back kinda things. 

I've never known what it's been like to be admired for my fat as one of my attributes, but I'm sure once I am, I won't want it much any other way.


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## Tragdor (Mar 24, 2007)

this thread has made me feel better. Because sometimes I feel really shallow for only being attracted to fat girls. Its nice to know that some girls prefer that I am not attracted to skinny women.


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## MissToodles (Mar 24, 2007)

Tina's right. If he treats you respectfully, I wouldn't worry. If subtle suggestions are made to look like the ogled skinny women, I would run!


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## pickleman357 (Mar 24, 2007)

Krissy12 said:


> I've never known what it's been like to be admired for my fat as one of my attributes, but I'm sure once I am, I won't want it much any other way.



Here, I'll give you an idea. You know how your boobs turn a guy on right? To an FA, we get the same sort of pleasure from every ounce of fat on your body. So rubbing a fat floppy arm in our face is the same as rubbing a tit in our face. :smitten: 

Get it?


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 24, 2007)

Well said... great analogy..... And kinda hot too.... 




pickleman357 said:


> Here, I'll give you an idea. You know how your boobs turn a guy on right? To an FA, we get the same sort of pleasure from every ounce of fat on your body. So rubbing a fat floppy arm in our face is the same as rubbing a tit in our face. :smitten:
> 
> Get it?


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## Phalloidium (Mar 24, 2007)

Ashley said:


> I concur.
> 
> I want a guy who can't and won't settle for a thin chick. Not because he thinks thin chicks are ugly or repulsive, but because he is just SO into fatties that he'd never be satisfied with anything less.



Part of me wants to get with a thin chick before I settle down just so I know what it's like. I just can't bring myself to do it knowing that such an experience wouldn't even be satisfying lol


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## ripley (Mar 25, 2007)

FatAndProud said:


> I was wondering if any of you bigger girls (300lbs+) ever felt like, how do I put this, insecure or something, when a proclaimed FA also finds skinny women to be attractive?
> 
> I know I do occasionally. It's weird.
> 
> Thoughts? Questions and explanations (haha my Geometry teacher used to say that five times in a row really fast, OCD)?




Yes, I do feel insecure. Part of it is just "Wow...she's so different than me, and you think she's hot? Where does that leave me?" Part of it is that dating a SSBBW takes a lot more "work" than dating a thin woman, so to me it's scary that they can be attracted to someone that it would be a lot easier to date. So why wouldn't they choose them over me? They don't have to worry about being embarrassed to be seen with a really fat partner...they don't have to research what cars I could fit in...they don't have to vet restaurant seating...they don't have to worry about teasing/flak from friends or strangers...ask her to the movies, there is no worry if she'll be uncomfortable in the seats...so if they are attracted to thin women, what is going to make them want to stick with me and all the extra work?






liz (di-va) said:


> Yeah, but just to note--preferring FAs doesn't eliminate insecurity. There's a whole world of hot fat girls out there to be "jealous of," a whole other minefield, if jealousy or insecurity is the issue. In a way, it can even be worse, that kinda thinking.



Yep, yep, yep. And our community is so disproportionate as to male to female ratio that even if a guy is a dyed-in-the-wool FA, there are about...oh, a thousand or so fat chicks to every FA. There is always going to be someone prettier, funnier, more awesome.


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## Tina (Mar 25, 2007)

Yes, but there will be no one else just like you, Rip.


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## Violet_Beauregard (Mar 25, 2007)

DITTO, DITTO, DITTO........ I could not possibly have said it any better, or clearer myself. 





ripley said:


> Yes, I do feel insecure. Part of it is just "Wow...she's so different than me, and you think she's hot? Where does that leave me?" Part of it is that dating a SSBBW takes a lot more "work" than dating a thin woman, so to me it's scary that they can be attracted to someone that it would be a lot easier to date. So why wouldn't they choose them over me? They don't have to worry about being embarrassed to be seen with a really fat partner...they don't have to research what cars I could fit in...they don't have to vet restaurant seating...they don't have to worry about teasing/flak from friends or strangers...ask her to the movies, there is no worry if she'll be uncomfortable in the seats...so if they are attracted to thin women, what is going to make them want to stick with me and all the extra work?


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## ripley (Mar 25, 2007)

Tina said:


> Yes, but there will be no one else just like you, Rip.



Tina....




You're so kind. 


And thanks, Violet.  It's something I've been thinking about a lot lately.


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## pickleman357 (Mar 25, 2007)

ripley said:


> Where does that leave me?" Part of it is that dating a SSBBW takes a lot more "work" than dating a thin woman, so to me it's scary that they can be attracted to someone that it would be a lot easier to date. So why wouldn't they choose them over me?


One of the key things you have to understand to be even semi-fa is that yes, fat women require more attention then skinny women. One, if the guy is paying you more attention, then that's a plus right?


> They don't have to worry about being embarrassed to be seen with a really fat partner...


If he's even remotely embrassed to be seen with a fat girl in public, then he shouldn't have asked you out.


> they don't have to research what cars I could fit in...they don't have to vet restaurant seating...


Speaking as an FA, if a fat woman is spilling over the sides of a seat, that's hot. Any too-small-for-her anything that shows how big she is, is a turn on for a true FA. So that's actually a plus.


> they don't have to worry about teasing/flak from friends or strangers...


If anyone was to make fun of my girl infront of me, I would immeditly french her to the point of making the bastards jealous.... or gross them out to the point where they'll be scarred and never tease another fat woman again!  


> ask her to the movies, there is no worry if she'll be uncomfortable in the seats...


Again, that's hot when her fat ass is spilling over the arm rests :wubu: 


> so if they are attracted to thin women, what is going to make them want to stick with me and all the extra work?


Well, he's got to make the choice in whether or not is an admirer of fat or just someone who likes non boney women... 

that's the best I got, but all those "negitives" that you spoke of... they're not really. Trsut me. Some times it has the same effect of a lapdance when you can't fit in a seat.


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## Tina (Mar 25, 2007)

ripley said:


> Tina....
> 
> 
> 
> You're so kind.



Not so much kind as honest, Rip. Just telling the truth. There's a reason why so many think you're wonderful (including me).


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## AnnMarie (Mar 25, 2007)

pickleman357 said:


> Again, that's hot when her fat ass is spilling over the arm rests :wubu:



I know it's hot, I totally get it, and I'm glad. However, not to totally rain on your parade, I just want you to keep in mind that there is a fine line between hot for our guy and painful, uncomfortable and slightly humiliating for us. Movie seats are one of those places... they leave horrible bruises, you sit there long enough that you could actually risk a DVT episode from lack of movement and circulation being cut off at your thighs, and if anyone needs to get by you, you have to try to pry yourself out of the seat, and even standing they don't really fit past you. 

So, my point is... get a thrill out of us in the tiny car, but please, please, please... find us a theater where the arms go up. We'll love you _even more_ for it. 

:wubu:


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## Ash (Mar 25, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> I know it's hot, I totally get it, and I'm glad. However, not to totally rain on your parade, I just want you to keep in mind that there is a fine line between hot for our guy and painful, uncomfortable and slightly humiliating for us. Movie seats are one of those places... they leave horrible bruises, you sit there long enough that you could actually risk a DVT episode from lack of movement and circulation being cut off at your thighs, and if anyone needs to get by you, you have to try to pry yourself out of the seat, and even standing they don't really fit past you.
> 
> So, my point is... get a thrill out of us in the tiny car, but please, please, please... find us a theater where the arms go up. We'll love you _even more_ for it.
> 
> :wubu:



AGREED! I went and saw Spamalot a couple summers ago and we were in the balcony with the smallest seats known to man. I couldn't even enjoy the show because my hips and thighs hurt so badly. I had bruises for a week. 

Definitely find a theater where the arms on the seats go up. That's the kind of considerate thing that will keep us coming back.


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## liz (di-va) (Mar 25, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> I know it's hot, I totally get it, and I'm glad. However, not to totally rain on your parade, I just want you to keep in mind that there is a fine line between hot for our guy and painful, uncomfortable and slightly humiliating for us. Movie seats are one of those places... they leave horrible bruises, you sit there long enough that you could actually risk a DVT episode from lack of movement and circulation being cut off at your thighs, and if anyone needs to get by you, you have to try to pry yourself out of the seat, and even standing they don't really fit past you.
> So, my point is... get a thrill out of us in the tiny car, but please, please, please... find us a theater where the arms go up. We'll love you _even more_ for it.



yes yes yes. I have a had a lot of conversations around here where I don't think people quite get it. If it were only a matter of spilling over, then that'd be one thing. But the majority of the time it's about serious pain, usually my hips. Bruising, circulation problems, pain that I'm not willing to put up with--nobody would--for more than a few minutes, especially in contexts where I'm paying for a pleasurable experience like eating or watching movies! Bane of my existence...


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## pickleman357 (Mar 25, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> I know it's hot, I totally get it, and I'm glad. However, not to totally rain on your parade, I just want you to keep in mind that there is a fine line between hot for our guy and painful, uncomfortable and slightly humiliating for us. Movie seats are one of those places... they leave horrible bruises, you sit there long enough that you could actually risk a DVT episode from lack of movement and circulation being cut off at your thighs, and if anyone needs to get by you, you have to try to pry yourself out of the seat, and even standing they don't really fit past you.


I'm.... so.... conflicted.....
On one side, you're right, the lack of blood is a major issue, humans still need that to live for now....
but if I was at a movie theatre with a woman who was taking up 2 seats to herself and if someone tried to squeeze past us but they couldn't because she was too big...... I think I would miss the enitre movie as I would feel the need to make out with her the entire time. :smitten: 

But I guess that's up to the woman if the embrassment of being too big to get past is worth turning your man into something that's going to want to hump your leg all night *shrugs*


> So, my point is... get a thrill out of us in the tiny car, but please, please, please... find us a theater where the arms go up. We'll love you _even more_ for it.
> 
> :wubu:



*Deal *


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## AnnMarie (Mar 25, 2007)

pickleman357 said:


> I'm.... so.... conflicted.....
> On one side, you're right, the lack of blood is a major issue, humans still need that to live for now....
> but if I was at a movie theatre with a woman who was taking up 2 seats to herself and if someone tried to squeeze past us but they couldn't because she was too big...... I think I would miss the enitre movie as I would feel the need to make out with her the entire time. :smitten:
> 
> ...



hahaha, I totally understand the conflict. 

Look at it this way. If you put the armrest between the two of you up, she can squish YOU... so you get the tight squeeze, being squished, and she's out the pain of the unyielding armrest, but has gained the oh so happy FA thigh that she's now forced to press into. 

I think it's win win!

Plus, the armrest will only solve blood flow. People are still barely going to fit by us, so you can proceed with the massive make out session.


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## pickleman357 (Mar 25, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> hahaha, I totally understand the conflict.
> 
> Look at it this way. If you put the armrest between the two of you up, she can squish YOU... so you get the tight squeeze, being squished, and she's out the pain of the unyielding armrest, but has gained the oh so happy FA thigh that she's now forced to press into.
> 
> I think it's win win!


That sounds perfect!  


> Plus, the armrest will only solve blood flow. People are still barely going to fit by us, so you can proceed with the massive make out session.



If they still have room to get past, I guess that means you still have room to grow!


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## AnnMarie (Mar 25, 2007)

pickleman357 said:


> That sounds perfect!
> 
> 
> If they still have room to get past, I guess that means you still have room to grow!



Ahhh, full circle, except needs to go to the confessions thread.

*waddles over there*


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## krystalltuerme (Mar 25, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> And frankly, expanding on that thought process, if I were a skinny chick I'd never want to be with a guy who 98% of the time dated fat girls! I can't tell you how many FAs I know who ended up marrying nice, fun, great thin (who will rock climb with them! lol) girls, because they felt to hold out for the awesome fatty would be "shallow", and end up cheating with fat girls, chatting them up online, etc... because they have to have the fat fix. The thin girl may be a wonderful person, but at the end of the day, there is something he needs that just isn't there.
> 
> Yeah, I'm sticking with my "want FA" stance, I'm totally comfortable here on the bench and waiting.



I have to say, "the fat fix" is the perfect way to describe it. I'm a pretty serious caffeine addict (to the tune of 8-10 cups of coffee per day, plus a rockstar or two), but it's nothing compared to the craving I get for a fat chick.



pickleman357 said:


> Here, I'll give you an idea. You know how your boobs turn a guy on right? To an FA, we get the same sort of pleasure from every ounce of fat on your body. So rubbing a fat floppy arm in our face is the same as rubbing a tit in our face. :smitten:
> 
> Get it?



Quoted for truth.


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## FatAndProud (Mar 25, 2007)

I think this is also a reason I prefer not to date.

I would rather lose someone to a fat woman than see him go to a skinny chick. It's all about the comparison aspect. I mean, naturally being a woman, we all compare ourselves to others...I'd rather be like, "I can see why he went with her, she's fuller, prettier, whatever" but to a skinny woman? ack.

Obviously, I may have insecurities I need to manage through. Don't get me wrong, I love my fat. But "losing" to a skinny woman is like a slap in the face.


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## Krissy12 (Mar 25, 2007)

pickleman357 said:


> Here, I'll give you an idea. You know how your boobs turn a guy on right? To an FA, we get the same sort of pleasure from every ounce of fat on your body. So rubbing a fat floppy arm in our face is the same as rubbing a tit in our face. :smitten:
> 
> Get it?



Oh, I've long since "gotten it" what makes an FA tick. Just have yet to have one tick for me.  (in person)

And once I have that happen, I don't know if I'd ever go back to dating guys who weren't FAs.


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## liz (di-va) (Mar 25, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> Ahhh, full circle, except needs to go to the confessions thread.
> *waddles over there*



hah! nice try


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## EtobicokeFA (Mar 25, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> And frankly, expanding on that thought process, if I were a skinny chick I'd never want to be with a guy who 98% of the time dated fat girls! I can't tell you how many FAs I know who ended up marrying nice, fun, great thin (who will rock climb with them! lol) girls, because they felt to hold out for the awesome fatty would be "shallow", and end up cheating with fat girls, chatting them up online, etc... because they have to have the fat fix. The thin girl may be a wonderful person, but at the end of the day, there is something he needs that just isn't there.
> 
> Yeah, I'm sticking with my "want FA" stance, I'm totally comfortable here on the bench and waiting.



Well as I said before that, you can blame the forces of political correctness for making FAs feel guilty about their preference towards fat chicks. And, I agree that we shouldn't lie to ourselves that physical attraction is not that important as long as the mental attraction is there! Of course, the forces of political correctness has been selling that for as long as I remember!



AnnMarie said:


> hahaha, I totally understand the conflict.
> 
> Look at it this way. If you put the armrest between the two of you up, she can squish YOU... so you get the tight squeeze, being squished, and she's out the pain of the unyielding armrest, but has gained the oh so happy FA thigh that she's now forced to press into.
> 
> ...



Any FAs wet dream!



krystalltuerme said:


> I have to say, "the fat fix" is the perfect way to describe it. I'm a pretty serious caffeine addict (to the tune of 8-10 cups of coffee per day, plus a rockstar or two), but it's nothing compared to the craving I get for a fat chick.
> 
> 
> 
> Quoted for truth.




However, on the flip side, relationships should be a lot more that physical attraction. Of course there FAs who are just in a relationship just for a fat fix, and that should still be considered shallow.


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## fatgirlflyin (Mar 25, 2007)

FatAndProud said:


> I was wondering if any of you bigger girls (300lbs+) ever felt like, how do I put this, insecure or something, when a proclaimed FA also finds skinny women to be attractive?
> 
> I know I do occasionally. It's weird.
> 
> Thoughts? Questions and explanations (haha my Geometry teacher used to say that five times in a row really fast, OCD)?



If I'm having an ugly day, yup I'd definitely feel insecure. Other days, nope cuz I find some skinny girls pretty hot too!


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## Waxwing (Mar 25, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> Funny thing is that I know bi people who like both fat men and women, and also bi people who like one type fat, one type skinny... so figure that part into the equation and wait for your head to explode!


 
I'm actually this way. I prefer my women fat but my men small. For the most part. Of course now it sounds like I'm ordering a steak. 

I agree with elle and tooz and everyone else who said it-- if someone is with you, you want to know that you push their buttons in every sense of the word. I don't want someone to go out with me because they think that I'm *just* a neat person. I want them to be jaw-dropping, sweaty-palms, feel me up in the corner, out of control attracted to me. For that to happen I sort of feel as though I have to fit what is by and large, their "type". 

Also, like elle said, I don't think that you can be completely 100% absolutely no preference.


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## Waxwing (Mar 25, 2007)

AnnMarie said:


> Besides, I like pottery. I don't expect my boyfriend to go with me... that's what I have OTHER friends for.



And I only date women who like pottery! What a coinc! :wubu:


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## imfree (Mar 25, 2007)

pickleman357 said:


> Here, I'll give you an idea. You know how your boobs turn a guy on right? To an FA, we get the same sort of pleasure from every ounce of fat on your body. So rubbing a fat floppy arm in our face is the same as rubbing a tit in our face. :smitten:
> 
> Get it?


 As one FA to another FA, dude!!!, you sure got that right!!!


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## krystalltuerme (Mar 25, 2007)

EtobicokeFA said:


> However, on the flip side, relationships should be a lot more that physical attraction. Of course there FAs who are just in a relationship just for a fat fix, and that should still be considered shallow.



I'm not disagreeing with this; you're absolutely right. I still get cravings though--I'll just count myself lucky I found someone who I connect with on more than just a physical level.


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## goldendiamondeyes (Mar 25, 2007)

Myself being a SSBBW, and been in the dating world, I can say that I totally understand about these feelings.....It is heart breaking for us BBW's and SSBBW's to be treated as a sex object..... (At least that is what I felt like). There are alot of men out there whom say they are FA's and turn out to be users of fat girls...and Where I am coming from is.....I met the men I guess that thought sleeping with a FAT GIRL was a trophy but he could never tell his friends.....So when us fat girls get theses men we feel used and abused...... makes for not a healthy outlook on ourselves....:blink:


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## eightyseven (Mar 25, 2007)

I think attraction can never be absolute. It's fickle and while everyone has their preferences, it's impossible to have just one "type." I prefer big girls from a physical standpoint but I refuse to turn a blind eye a thinner girl who may just happen to peak my interest for any number of reasons. That's a total possibility for me and I have no problem or shame in admitting it. That being said, it is a more comfortable feeling for me to be with a big girl because in my mind it seems more aligned with my desires. It's all so very complicated, this attraction thing.


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## cactopus (Mar 26, 2007)

liz (di-va) said:


> Hellodoomwhat'shappening. Um, I'm gonna need you go ahead and come in tomorrow. So if you could be here around nine, that would be greeeeeat. Oh, yeah, I forgot: I'm gonna also need you to come in Sunday too. We lost some people this week and we need to sorta catch up. Thanks.



Mmmmm yeah...


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## Jon Blaze (Mar 26, 2007)

I date women of all sizes, but my balance is unevenly tipped towards larger women because of x reasons. One of my reasons for doing so is I get annoyed that FA is sometimes considered synonymous with thin hatred. That isn't the case for me. I could be perfectly content with a thin girl, but the majority of larger women are elite to me. :wubu: 

It's really a small portion of romance to me though. Weight is a part of looks, which much coexist with personality, views, hobbies, chemistry, et cetera...
My weight range is virtually non-existent, but I prefer larger women of any varying degree.

The other elements of romance are key too. I can't date someone I find incredibly attractive that I can't get along with it.


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## Tad (Mar 26, 2007)

ripley said:


> Yes, I do feel insecure. Part of it is just "Wow...she's so different than me, and you think she's hot? Where does that leave me?" Part of it is that dating a SSBBW takes a lot more "work" than dating a thin woman, so to me it's scary that they can be attracted to someone that it would be a lot easier to date. So why wouldn't they choose them over me? They don't have to worry about being embarrassed to be seen with a really fat partner...they don't have to research what cars I could fit in...they don't have to vet restaurant seating...they don't have to worry about teasing/flak from friends or strangers...ask her to the movies, there is no worry if she'll be uncomfortable in the seats...so if they are attracted to thin women, what is going to make them want to stick with me and all the extra work?



It would be more convenient to date someone who is independantly wealthy, who happens to enjoy most of the same activities you do, whose parents are just awesome, who gives such great backrubs that you'd never dream of going to get a massage.....

But when did convenience ever get mixed up with love? If anything, I think most guys appreciate having some challenges to deal with. I think we all have a little bit of the questing knight in us, and are glad to have at least a few challenges to overcome to show our love. Fortunately there is nobody in the world without challenges attached to them.



> And our community is so disproportionate as to male to female ratio that even if a guy is a dyed-in-the-wool FA, there are about...oh, a thousand or so fat chicks to every FA. There is always going to be someone prettier, funnier, more awesome.



Sure, but:

a) I think most people have some degree of faithfullness in them, and won't change partners like changing their shirt.
b) There are also a thousand more handsome, funnier, smarter, richer.....guys out there.
c) This is true of everyone, everywhere (that there is always someone 'more' whatever)
d) They would not be Ripley! Follow me here: the guy falls in love with Ripley, not with a generic body-type of which Ripley happens to be a place holder. Once in love, all things Ripley-ish get elevated in value, and all things non-Ripley-ish get lowered in value. And nobody else has as much Ripley-ish-ness as Ripley. So no matter what other things they may be 'more' of, they are also 'less' in the all important Ripley-ish-ness factor. Of course, the guy who is just looking for a body type of which you are a convenient place holder can be confusing in the whole equation, those are the ones you want to avoid. It is the ones who smile in a goofy and twitterpated fashion when you do something completely Ripley-ish that you know you have hooked good and proper.

Just for the record, I think the evidence shows that there are large amounts of lovely Ripley-ish-ness to keep some guy completely smitten, once you find him.


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