# So, i want to join curves.....



## Clariposita22 (Mar 6, 2008)

does any one have any experiences, good or bad?


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## LoveBHMS (Mar 6, 2008)

Just make sure to check out the ownership.

The president is a major donor to the Right To Life movement. If you're ok with that, no problem. Just be aware of where your money is going.


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## Risible (Mar 6, 2008)

I joined one a few years ago.

The pros included (from my perspective), the location was very close to my house in a strip mall; it was very organized and the staff was friendly; it was easy to budget time, as I knew almost to the minute how long the workout would take; I could work at my own pace; I felt comfortable there - only women, and there was a range of sizes. I wasn't the biggest and I wasn't the oldest, and I felt like I belonged in this group.

There were a few drawbacks, however. Most significant: it was hot. The location was, as mentioned, in a strip mall and was a corner suite with glass walls on two sides facing the south and the west; it was already pushing 80 and warmer inside than out when I'd get there in the morning. Too hot for me. Also, those glass walls allowed spectators (uh, _men_) to actually press up against the window and observe. I mean, some of them would stand out there for as long as I was there, just watchin'. Of course, if the location that you are going to doesn't have the glass walls, and you're comfortable with the temperature inside, then disregard the above two complaints.

A couple other drawbacks - the music was really corny. It was more disruptive than inducive to exercise. Also, they didn't provide water, no drinking fountain; but they sold water! At, like, two bucks a bottle - . I brought my own, of course, but they should have at least provided a drinking fountain considering what you're paying. It was usually crowded, and I was going at what was for them an off-hour. It wasn't unusual to wait to begin. Also, some people didn't wipe off the equipment after they used it, and there's little time to do so. 

See if you can do a free trial before joining. It's a system that obviously works for a lot of people; it just didn't work for me.


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## Theresa48 (Mar 6, 2008)

I went to Curves for a little over a year before I developed knee and sciatica problems that kept me from continuing. I found the experience to be a very positive one. The people who worked there were gracious and caring. My 350 plus pounds were not an issue at all. Everyone was kind. The exercise machines and routines were within my abillity to work. Having said that, I believe the experience as a whole would vary from place to place depending on the attitudes of the managers. If there is more than one Curves set up, take advantage of their free visits (I'm asssuming they still offer a trial period) and choose the one that best suits you.


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## Clariposita22 (Mar 6, 2008)

LoveBHMS said:


> Just make sure to check out the ownership.
> 
> The president is a major donor to the Right To Life movement. If you're ok with that, no problem. Just be aware of where your money is going.



what do you mean right to life?


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## goofy girl (Mar 6, 2008)

She means the owner donates money to Pro-Life organizations (anti-abortion) I'd still rather go to Curves where I don't have to have my 320lbs flopping around in front of sweaty macho guys and stick thin 19 year old girls with pigtails at a regular gym.


I joined Curves about a month ago. LOVE IT! I'm borderline addicted, to be honest. I have so much energy I literally want to run around my office instead of walk! I wasn't really impressed but the lady that works there was super duper ecstatic lol. It's allot of fun. I like that you aren't on the machines for very long at once, because sometimes even that 30 seconds seems like forever. I highly recommend it.

At my location they are currently having a discounted joining fee. if you donate a bag of groceries for the food bank, the one time joining fee goes from $129.00 to $30.00. And my monthly fee is only $34.00, which is more than reasonable. I spend more than that a week in junk food..I can spend $35 a month to do something good for me. I'm not sure if that discount is everywhere or just my location.


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## Fyreflyintheskye (Mar 6, 2008)

LoveBHMS said:


> Just make sure to check out the ownership.
> 
> The president is a major donor to the Right To Life movement. If you're ok with that, no problem. Just be aware of where your money is going.



not for nothing, but what exactly does that have to do with fitness?


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## Fyreflyintheskye (Mar 6, 2008)

I've heard good things about Curves, but also that people grow out of quickly because it's "easy" and "routine." It's been touted as a great starting point, basically. I think that's a perfect way to look at it, too


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## Tina (Mar 6, 2008)

I tried it once, when I had a certificate for two free weeks (like LovesBHMs, I don't care to give my money to businesses who contribute to orgs that are antithetical to my beliefs -- especially the ones I feel strongest about, like a woman's free agency over her body and its contents). The women there were nice, but...

1) They wanted me to have a goal weight and I flat out refused. She finally got that I wasn't going to do it after I gave her a short explanation.

2) Some of them were too nice -- or, should I say, too talkative. They work there, so they haven't much to do all day, so they talk and talk and talk, and distracted me from my workout. If you're going to tell me your problems, _you_ can pay _me_ to be there. 

3) I couldn't use all of their machines -- there were at least 3 or 4 that I just couldn't use because of mobility/size issues.

4) The place seemed cheesy, with some flimsy equipt., and like the people who work there don't really pay attention to how clients are doing the exercises beyond the first time.

All in all, joining would have been a waste of time, and money thrown at someone who will give it to organizations where I would not wish my money to go.


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## PamelaLois (Mar 6, 2008)

ShakenBakeSharleen said:


> not for nothing, but what exactly does that have to do with fitness?



The owner of the company is a RABID Pro-Life supporter and donates to questionable anti-abortion organizations. I refuse to give money to a man who will turn around and donate it organizations that I have no wish to financially support. http://www.snopes.com/business/alliance/curves.asp


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## AnnMarie (Mar 6, 2008)

Tina said:


> 3) I couldn't use all of their machines -- there were at least 3 or 4 that I just couldn't use because of mobility/size issues.
> 
> 4) The place seemed cheesy, with some flimsy equipt., and like the people who work there don't really pay attention to how clients are doing the exercises beyond the first time.
> 
> All in all, joining would have been a waste of time, and money thrown at someone who will give it to organizations where I would not wish my money to go.




Exactly my feeling. The machines were tinny and scary, tippy, I knew I would break or damage one - they were simply not rated to hold me, and would have likely injured me, the instructors were much more into the cult of it than the precise and safe way to do the moves - I'd much rather go to a gym with muscle heads who are concerned with proper technique and on machines that are built for heavy duty work outs. 

Not my type of place.


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## Jes (Mar 6, 2008)

Risible said:


> I mean, some of them would stand out there for as long as I was there, just watchin'. .



That's not normal.


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## Wagimawr (Mar 6, 2008)

AnnMarie said:


> the instructors were much more into the cult of it than the precise and safe way to do the moves - I'd much rather go to a gym with muscle heads who are concerned with proper technique and on machines that are built for heavy duty work outs.


That's what I've heard - plus the circuit training idea is a bit silly; apparently you only have enough time to struggle through the exercises before the whistle's blown - very VERY unsafe in terms of proper form.

Many gyms aren't necessarily the fitness-freak domains they're made out to be; a couple of visits during a couple of times is a good way to determine if the atmosphere is suitable.

edit: er, just realized I'm a bit out of my league in this thread ^_^; neverminds!


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## PamelaLois (Mar 7, 2008)

I've belonged to a number of different types of gyms over the years. By far the worst was one for women only. Proper tecnique and form were not even discussed, and the women in the place were, by far, more judgemental than anyone in any other gym. Bally's was nothing more than a meat market, I hated that place. Women put makeup ON before they worked out. It was nothing more than a smelly single's bar. The best, so far, was LifeTime Fitness. They really took the time to help, with intructors that took the time to make sure you got a safe and effective workout. I also found that the "muscle-heads" had no problems with a person of size working out beside them as long as that person, me or someone else, really was there to work out and was really trying. More than once I had one of these guys give me tips or help. I really hated leaving that place when I moved. I also loved their 3 swimming pools and 2 hot tubs.


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## Renaissance Woman (Mar 7, 2008)

I've been to a number of different Curves locations, and they vary WIDELY as far as help and amenities available. Some have had water coolers, clean towels available, and all the machines and then some. And some have had the bare minimum and nothing more.

I went to one that had a play area for children. All it did was encourage the parent to constantly yell over at little Johnny to make sure he was happy (or vice-versa), and have the noise of cartoons on top of the music.

I've seen some employees that were great, making sure people were using the machines correctly, not just for new people but for old hands if their technique was slipping. And then there were the ones who didn't give any instruction at all to a new person.

Most of the locations I've seen block the windows somehow so that passers-by don't have a clear view of the inside, either through a one-way film on the windows or a wall that blocks the exercise area from the windows.

The things I found most annoying have been only down here in the Texas locations I've been to. Playing Christian rock songs? I'm there to work out, not to get a sermon. I politely asked a worker to change the Christian CD, and she got completely offended by my request. The locations I went to in other parts of the country never played any Christian songs. I ended up bringing my ipod and changing workout stations when other people did rather than listen to the crappy music and the "change stations now" recording.

Locations here also close in the afternoon, from around 1 pm to 4 pm. They claim this is because nobody shows up at that time because that's when kids get home from school. Uh, yeah. So the prime time I normally worked out, they were closed. Never found that anywhere else. 

I never felt judged for my size, and didn't get any weird looks when I went in. The workout itself was not difficult, and everybody can work at their own pace, going as fast or slow as they want on the machines. There was frequently some idiot who would start right next to me when there were plenty of stations available, or would stay too long on one machine, or skip stations, which would screw up my timing. 

Overall, I would say it was a positive experience, but what a particular location does or doesn't do can make all the difference.


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## goofy girl (Mar 7, 2008)

I don't think the equipment is all that bad. There is one do-hickey that I just can't seem to get used to, but it has nothing to do with my size or the machine..I'm just not coordinated enough to do it, no matter how many times they show me. The instructors show you the circuit once, but if you have any questions they are always there, and if they notice you using the equipment wrong they tell you. My weight when I started was 326lbs and I never felt like the machines were going to collapse under me or anything.


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## knottyknicky (Mar 7, 2008)

I was a member of curves for a year about 5 or 6 years ago. I hated it. I'm not sure why I joined...I guess at the time, it seemed like a good idea, but I had a hard time dealing with the cheesy music, feeling like I didn't get enough of a workout no matter how hard/fast/strong I did each station, and I missed having the option of jumping on a treadmill with an ipod and zoning out. I got weird looks and felt a little strange because I was the only young person there, and I was truthfully a little cynical about the whole thing. For the price, I'd find a normal, regular ol' gym that happens to have a similar program. The World Gym's here have womens-only rooms, some are set up as plain old gyms and others have circuit training set up, just like Curves...but you still get the option of using traditional weights, taking yoga classes, and using the sauna and hot tubs. Financially, its just a little more bang for your buck, I think.


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## Sweet Tooth (Mar 7, 2008)

I personally loved my Curves experience. Long-standing knee/ankle problems prevented me from continuing. I went to 5 locations in 3 different states, and the others are right about each being widely different. Some were very focused on weight loss. One was borderline Nazi on heartrate and proper form. I understand why, but they'd constantly hound you.

Anyway, I highly recommend them with the condition that you find one that works for you, its style and approach. I made it very clear when I first joined that I was there for fitness, not weight loss. The owner worked with me to safely modify exercises for my size. She did focus on proper form. [Another location I went to showed videos of proper form regularly.]

As for their pro-life status, every business owner can choose to put their profit and personal income into whatever organization they choose. I'm sure other companies and their execs support causes I might not support, but I don't know about it. This just happens to be well-known because of the Christian witness of the Curves owners. I give them credit for being up front about it.


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## Tina (Mar 7, 2008)

Of course they have a right to donate to whomever they choose, just as I can choose whether or not to support a business, and by turn a cause, with my own dollars.

There are websites that list to which causes businesses donate money. I'm not a stickler on it like a friend of mine is, but some things are too important to me to make exceptions for -- even if I _like_ the business (and Curves obviously wouldn't be one I like, anyway ).


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## toni (Mar 7, 2008)

I really wanted to join a curves. However, they are all independently owned and IT SHOWS. The ones I toured didn't even have a shower. One was in some lady's house. The join up and monthly fees (which are very high compared to a normal gym) vary from place to place. If you want to use another location you need to get a pass. I was told, if you constantly use different locations. You will eventually need to transfer your membership. A lot of trouble for a boring circuit. NO THANKS!


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## olwen (Mar 8, 2008)

ShakenBakeSharleen said:


> I've heard good things about Curves, but also that people grow out of quickly because it's "easy" and "routine." It's been touted as a great starting point, basically. I think that's a perfect way to look at it, too



I agree with Sharleen. I don't belong to Curves, I belong to New York Sports Club and I can say that no matter where you go, you will get bored if you do the same routine over and over again and it will become easier if you go regularly, and you will get bored and you will have to modify your workout routine. If you get bored at Curves you will have to find a gym that offers more than just cardio machines. I didn't join curves because they didn't offer classes and they don't have a pool.

As for the atmosphere. When I first joined I worried and agonized over how I would look to the thinner people at the gym and I found out after a while that nobody gives a damn. They're not focused on you or staring at you or anything. The trainers didn't hassle me or push me about a weight loss plan or anything like that. I've been going to the gym regularly for two years now and after a while the regulars would come up to me and praise me for my discipline and they would tell me how seeing me there inspired them to work out harder - i took that as you make me not want to be a big fat blob like you, but whatever, but I digress - so I know no one will be making fun of you if you go to a gym with men around. I don't feel bad if I can't do an exercise or fit into a piece of equipment. I just do what makes me comfortable, and I workout at my own pace, even in classes.

I can honestly say that the only problems I've had have been in the weight room - I lift weights a lot - not because I'm fat, but because I'm a woman. Twice now, I've gotten into heated arguments with two different guys over who's using a machine. The guy always thinks I have no right to be there and tries to take over the machine before I'm finished my sets. Each time like four or five of the other regulars in the weight room rushed to my defense and were ready to fight the jerk on my behalf. Both times I was moved to be welcomed and accepted in such an atmosphere. It doesn't matter that I'm fat or that I'm a woman, they accept me none-the-less. 

Clariposita22, it doesn't matter where you go really. If you are comfortable with yourself you'll overcome whatever anxiety you will be feeling and it won't matter how many people are around you. But do do research about each gym you are considering and choose the one that best meets your needs. 

Good luck


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## LillyBBBW (Mar 8, 2008)

Yes, I avoided Curves for all the same reasons mentioned here. I like to be able to cater my workouts to what I want to concentrate on that given day. I usually spend an hour and twenty minutes just on the weight machines in there. My own doing. I wanted to cut down on workout boredom. Also I'm pretty antisocial, especially when I work out. I know that my presence would be an automatic bad vibe for all the chatty cathys in there. Not my scene. They didn't have weights, cardio, kickboxing, bootcamp, yoga - what's to look forward to?

I joined Gold's Gym which costs $39.95 a month. I do love the gym! I wish I could tell you everything was rosey but I had this one cliche fat horror story there. This short guy would slap his friends' backs and giggle every time I came in, checking what I do on the machines in there. I noticed though that he was a loud mouth and annoying to a lot of people, even the men he joked with sneered behing his back. I finally went and complained to the management and he was spoken to. I don't know what they said but he hasn't given me any lip since. I got a lot of hearty nods and "good for you" commentary from random people in the gym who all found him immature and distracting. Goons like that don't think anyone will ever stare them down. (private investigations are ongoing because I have strong strong suspicions that Mr. backslapper is a closet FA, but that's a story for another thread) Just presenting you with the good the bad and the ugly. Fears CAN be realized at a gym but you don't have to put up with it. 

IMO a one time visit isn't enough to be able to tell if you feel comfortable in a gym. I would insist on a 1 week trial, if not you should walk right out of there. Look at the crowds, how full the parking lot gets, can you get a locker at the hours you go, can you make friends in there, etc. Women can be evil too so going to an all women's gym is not a guarantee of safety. Go there and use the place to see how you feel.


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## love dubh (Mar 8, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> Yes, I avoided Curves for all the same reasons mentioned here. I like to be able to cater my workouts to what I want to concentrate on that given day. I usually spend an hour and twenty minutes just on the weight machines in there. My own doing. I wanted to cut down on workout boredom. Also I'm pretty antisocial, especially when I work out. I know that my presence would be an automatic bad vibe for all the chatty cathys in there. Not my scene. They didn't have weights, cardio, kickboxing, bootcamp, yoga - what's to look forward to?
> 
> I joined Gold's Gym which costs $39.95 a month. I do love the gym! I wish I could tell you everything was rosey but I had this one cliche fat horror story there. This short guy would slap his friends' backs and giggle every time I came in, checking what I do on the machines in there. I noticed though that he was a loud mouth and annoying to a lot of people, even the men he joked with sneered behing his back. I finally went and complained to the management and he was spoken to. I don't know what they said but he hasn't given me any lip since. I got a lot of hearty nods and "good for you" commentary from random people in the gym who all found him immature and distracting. Goons like that don't think anyone will ever stare them down. (private investigations are ongoing because I have strong strong suspicions that Mr. backslapper is a closet FA, but that's a story for another thread) Just presenting you with the good the bad and the ugly. Fears CAN be realized at a gym but you don't have to put up with it.
> 
> IMO a one time visit isn't enough to be able to tell if you feel comfortable in a gym. I would insist on a 1 week trial, if not you should walk right out of there. Look at the crowds, how full the parking lot gets, can you get a locker at the hours you go, can you make friends in there, etc. Women can be evil too so going to an all women's gym is not a guarantee of safety. Go there and use the place to see how you feel.



I'm not surprised that some dipshit went and did that. But I thought that sort of behavior left you when you, oh I dunno, graduated high school? Kick ass for taking initiative, dear, and for the other people for not being quite as douchy.


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## knottyknicky (Mar 8, 2008)

A lot of the stories in the last few points bring up another obnoxious point, at least for me...I can't stand when people give the approving 'good for you' glances, or worse, comment. Maybe I'm alone in this, but I don't want to be noticed when I go work out, for better or worse. Just leave me alone and let me do my cardio, thankyouverymuch.


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## olwen (Mar 8, 2008)

knottyknicky said:


> A lot of the stories in the last few points bring up another obnoxious point, at least for me...I can't stand when people give the approving 'good for you' glances, or worse, comment. Maybe I'm alone in this, but I don't want to be noticed when I go work out, for better or worse. Just leave me alone and let me do my cardio, thankyouverymuch.



No, you're not alone. It totally annoys me too. I lost a lot of weight exercising (I was closer to 400lbs and now I'm closer to 300lbs) and around the 50lb mark is when the comments started to come out of nowhere. I don't mind talking to people during pilates, but when I'm lifting weights or on the elliptical I don't want to be bothered. But the thing that annoys me more than an-y-thing is when skinny girls come into the gym wearing tights that say like "pink" or something on the ass. Then they do the sorts of exercises that call attention to their butts. Then I can't help but to say "skank" under my breath. Or the guys that try to show off their muscles by doing "gymnastics" on the stretching matt.


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## love dubh (Mar 8, 2008)

olwen said:


> No, you're not alone. It totally annoys me too. I lost a lot of weight exercising (I was closer to 400lbs and now I'm closer to 300lbs) and around the 50lb mark is when the comments started to come out of nowhere. I don't mind talking to people during pilates, but when I'm lifting weights or on the elliptical I don't want to be bothered. But the thing that annoys me more than an-y-thing is when skinny girls come into the gym wearing tights that say like "pink" or something on the ass. Then they do the sorts of exercises that call attention to their butts. Then I can't help but to say "skank" under my breath. Or the guys that try to show off their muscles by doing "gymnastics" on the stretching matt.



I do exercises that call attention to my ass - bent dumbbell rows, deadlifts, and squats. When you keep your core stable and your back straight, your ass sticks out. Otherwise, you're not doing the exercises properly and you'll be in for a world of hurt. The "pink" and other-words-on-the-ass shorts and pants are obnoxious, I agree, but until you know why these women are doing exercises the way they are, don't assume. 

And what is wrong with these guys "showing off their muscles," if you know for sure (because I'm sure you surveyed every fella that sat his ass down on the mat)? Unless they're vocal about it, I don't see what's so bold about doing handstand pushups, divebomber pushups, or other "showy" exercises. The showier ones engage different muscle groups, and are much harder than standard callisthenics.


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## AnnMarie (Mar 8, 2008)

love dubh said:


> I do exercises that call attention to my ass - bent dumbbell rows, deadlifts, and squats. When you keep your core stable and your back straight, your ass sticks out. Otherwise, you're not doing the exercises properly and you'll be in for a world of hurt. The "pink" and other-words-on-the-ass shorts and pants are obnoxious, I agree, but until you know why these women are doing exercises the way they are, don't assume.
> 
> And what is wrong with these guys "showing off their muscles," if you know for sure (because I'm sure you surveyed every fella that sat his ass down on the mat)? Unless they're vocal about it, I don't see what's so bold about doing handstand pushups, divebomber pushups, or other "showy" exercises. The showier ones engage different muscle groups, and are much harder than standard callisthenics.



I agree, assigning motive to strangers is territory I wish to stay clear of. 

Everything I do accentuates my ass - hazard of the given equipment.


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## olwen (Mar 9, 2008)

love dubh said:


> I do exercises that call attention to my ass - bent dumbbell rows, deadlifts, and squats. When you keep your core stable and your back straight, your ass sticks out. Otherwise, you're not doing the exercises properly and you'll be in for a world of hurt. The "pink" and other-words-on-the-ass shorts and pants are obnoxious, I agree, but until you know why these women are doing exercises the way they are, don't assume.
> 
> And what is wrong with these guys "showing off their muscles," if you know for sure (because I'm sure you surveyed every fella that sat his ass down on the mat)? Unless they're vocal about it, I don't see what's so bold about doing handstand pushups, divebomber pushups, or other "showy" exercises. The showier ones engage different muscle groups, and are much harder than standard callisthenics.



Look, I spend a lot of time at the gym. I can tell by a person's body language whether or not they're just focused on their workout or preening. The girls who wear words on their asses preen when they do their stretches and such. They don't do dumbell rows, squats, stiff-legged deadlifts, or lunges or squats. They preen and then jump on the treadmill. I watch and listen to them so I know too that they are dancers not weight lifters.

The guy's who show off don't do mere handstand pushups. They do flips and tumbles and hog the ankle weights, the mats, etc. If they want to work on their traps, delts, pecks, and lats then push-ups ain't gonna do it hard enough. That kind of stuff is bold cause it's distracting and you need a lot of matt to do stuff like that, which makes it rude to do during peak hours, which part of the reason why it pisses me off.

I'm not saying anyone who sticks out their ass is annoying, just the ones who preen when they do it.


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## LillyBBBW (Mar 9, 2008)

If someone has worked very hard on their body and they feel good I'm all for it. I don't mind people who preen, admire themselves in the mirror when they work out, subtle self esteem boosters that give people an added edge in the competative world. I have a favorite T Shirt I wear that says 'zero' on it and others have items they wear that motivate them for some unspoken reason. I saw Pink running on a tredmill in one of her videos and she is one of the factors that inspired me to get back into the gym. Seriously, you don't know the thinking behind what or why some people do what they do. I'm all for self motivating techniques, I do it too. Whatever gets you in.

I do know where you're coming from though. I get annoyed when I see women who come there in full makeup with their hair and nails done. I *never* catch them working out, they just saunter around the gym chatting and posing. The gym is a pickup joint for some and THAT really irritates me. But people trying to resculpt their self esteem as well as their figures, sometimes that is necessary so I try to cut them some slack.


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## LillyBBBW (Mar 9, 2008)

knottyknicky said:


> A lot of the stories in the last few points bring up another obnoxious point, at least for me...I can't stand when people give the approving 'good for you' glances, or worse, comment. Maybe I'm alone in this, but I don't want to be noticed when I go work out, for better or worse. Just leave me alone and let me do my cardio, thankyouverymuch.



I hate that too but I try to adopt an attitude of tolerance for some of them. My reasoning behind this comes from knowing about body dysmorphia and low self esteem. The first day I even used the gym on my trial there was this older woman there working out alone. She lay eyes on me and immediately perked up. For some it's an all consuming task just to get the balls to go to a gym time after time again and be surrounded by seemingly perfect bodies, it's intimidating. I walked in and I could see this woman's whole body relax and she was so glad to see me. I didn't want to talk to her but eventually she approached and tried to make a connection. I smiled and told her I was testing the gym and she was immediately trying to sell me a membership and she doesn't even work there. 

Anyway, my bigger point is that you would be surprised at the people who believe themselves to be fat and/or ugly. I see these beautiful young women walking around and they identify more with me than they do with the other woman working next to them, it's really strange. They think they're fat, they think they're flat chested, they hate their thighs, etc. There are some real fcuked up people in this world and their angst is very real. Sometimes it's not patronizing at all, when they say they're happy to see you there they _really_ are because they identify with you and think they're the same. Yes we know some are patronizing but I just thought I'd present another thing to consider before you kick him/her in the shin.


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## Jes (Mar 9, 2008)

olwen said:


> I'm not saying anyone who sticks out their ass is annoying, just the ones who preen when they do it.



we have one guy who stares at himself in the mirror (seeing how his muscles are popping) so much that he's really mesmerizing to watch. Sometimes, he rubs his nipples which really makes my day. Especially when it's Sunday and they've got golf on the TV. Also, the guy dances sometimes. Just all by himself. I like that. I don't care for the guy who praises jesus, very loudly, while on the treadmill. If I think about it, it's a little like a group of homeless people under the overpass, but while working out.


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## olwen (Mar 9, 2008)

LillyBBBW said:


> I hate that too but I try to adopt an attitude of tolerance for some of them. My reasoning behind this comes from knowing about body dysmorphia and low self esteem. The first day I even used the gym on my trial there was this older woman there working out alone. She lay eyes on me and immediately perked up. For some it's an all consuming task just to get the balls to go to a gym time after time again and be surrounded by seemingly perfect bodies, it's intimidating. I walked in and I could see this woman's whole body relax and she was so glad to see me. I didn't want to talk to her but eventually she approached and tried to make a connection. I smiled and told her I was testing the gym and she was immediately trying to sell me a membership and she doesn't even work there.
> 
> Anyway, my bigger point is that you would be surprised at the people who believe themselves to be fat and/or ugly. I see these beautiful young women walking around and they identify more with me than they do with the other woman working next to them, it's really strange. They think they're fat, they think they're flat chested, they hate their thighs, etc. There are some real fcuked up people in this world and their angst is very real. Sometimes it's not patronizing at all, when they say they're happy to see you there they _really_ are because they identify with you and think they're the same. Yes we know some are patronizing but I just thought I'd present another thing to consider before you kick him/her in the shin.



I'm well aware of that, and the fact that skinny people think of themselves as fat makes it all the more annoying. No, it makes it one hundred times worse. They can think all the negative thoughts about the state of their thighs or the condition of their boobs all they want, but they don't have to deal with size discrimination and we do. When they don't intend to be patronizing they end up being thoughtless. I don't know which is worse. No amount of pity can make up for the anger I feel about it.

In a similar situation, there's this intern at my job who says a million negative things about herself. She thinks she's fat and she's not, but she talks to me like I hate my body as much as she does. I tell her there's nothing wrong with my arms or my thighs or my belly, or any other part of my body, and she looks at me like _I'm _crazy every time. (honestly tho, the only part of my body that has caused me the most frustration is my hair. I never know what to do with it, and I hate fussing over it. It's a mess when it's natural, it's a mess when it's permed...I'm thinking of starting dreads, so we'll see how that goes.) I'm just baffled, disgusted, and angered by her attitude. I really do try to feel sympathy and all that for her situation, but it's hard.


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## LillyBBBW (Mar 9, 2008)

olwen said:


> I'm well aware of that, and the fact that skinny people think of themselves as fat makes it all the more annoying. No, it makes it one hundred times worse. They can think all the negative thoughts about the state of their thighs or the condition of their boobs all they want, but they don't have to deal with size discrimination and we do. When they don't intend to be patronizing they end up being thoughtless. I don't know which is worse. No amount of pity can make up for the anger I feel about it.
> 
> In a similar situation, there's this intern at my job who says a million negative things about herself. She thinks she's fat and she's not, but she talks to me like I hate my body as much as she does. I tell her there's nothing wrong with my arms or my thighs or my belly, or any other part of my body, and she looks at me like _I'm _crazy every time. (honestly tho, the only part of my body that has caused me the most frustration is my hair. I never know what to do with it, and I hate fussing over it. It's a mess when it's natural, it's a mess when it's permed...I'm thinking of starting dreads, so we'll see how that goes.) I'm just baffled, disgusted, and angered by her attitude. I really do try to feel sympathy and all that for her situation, but it's hard.



I'm with you on all counts. I can be patient with them if I know I only have to brush up against them every now and then but I can't have anyone in my life like that. I don't talke with them long but I've at least got myself to the place where I don't take it personally. It's more about them than me. Jes says it best about the gym being similar to the homeless camp under the overpass. They'll never stop raving at the wall and you'll make yourself crazy focusing on it.

The hair angst to, especially at the gym. Hair always looks like shit, it seems moot to even try to style it now. the gym sweats it right out and I can't keep digging through it every day trying to fix it back. I thought of going natural but it takes too danged long to grow and it's harder to style.


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## Wagimawr (Mar 9, 2008)

I thought the real male showoffs at the gym were the ones dropping weights and grunting.


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## olwen (Mar 9, 2008)

Wagimawr said:


> I thought the real male showoffs at the gym were the ones dropping weights and grunting.



I totally grunt when I do chess presses. You breathe and grunt and grunt and breathe - it's almost sexual. No the grunting doesn't bother me at all. I read an article about whether or not grunting helps you lift more or if it's just an annoying unnecessary thing. I think it actually helps. But yeah, I'm aware that I might be annoying someone, but then I think well, the person who's being annoyed doesn't have enough weight above their head to smash their throat if they drop it, so, you know...fuck em.


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## Wagimawr (Mar 9, 2008)

I meant both at the same time, though  when I went to Golds for a while you totally knew when the muscleheads were working out because of the *clank**grunt* pattern that would go on for a half hour or so.
believe me, I've done my own grunting at the gym


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## Tina (Mar 10, 2008)

AnnMarie said:


> Everything I do accentuates my ass - hazard of the given equipment.


Heh! I hear ya there!


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## GWARrior (Mar 15, 2008)

This all reminds me that I need to get back into my gym routine. My school has a gym, so its free! Its not spectactular, but it has decent equipment and its never really busy.


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