# Death and larger bodies



## truebebeblue (Apr 18, 2009)

When I was at my heaviest and very very depressed I used to obsess about how paramedics/my mother and family/coroners/crematorium would handle my 500 lb body if I died.Usually when thinking about suicide and thankfully I think these thoughts partially kept me here. I didn't want to burden my family with thinking of those things... When my partner died last summer I had a flash of that as they came for his body.In all my shell shocked grief I can't believe I would even think that but I did... He was a bigger guy around 280 (same as I am now)and there was some grunting and manuevering but everything went pretty smoothly with two attendents. I had attempted CPR on him when I found him and had to move him off of the bed so know how hard that was even with adrenaline I was feeling...He was hard to move...
I was wondering if someone with more knowledge than me can shed a little light on what is done with larger sized bodies after death. We all hear tales of being buried in a piano box (urban legends?)etc but I can imagine someone being in a marriage with a super sized person having concerns like this but feeling daunted about broaching the subject. I don't want to seem morbid or insensitive but it's something plaguing my thoughts lately. Thanks

True


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## kiwilicious (Apr 18, 2009)

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss.

I know when I was incredibly depressed a few years back, the thought of my parents having to pay for an extra large coffin kept me from doing anything rash. 

It's a horrible thought... and I hope like hell bigger people are treated with the same amount of respect as those at or under average size. Just thinking about this topic makes me want to diet.


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## truebebeblue (Apr 18, 2009)

kiwilicious said:


> I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss..
> 
> I know when I was incredibly depressed a few years back, the thought of my parents having to pay for an extra large coffin kept me from doing anything rash.
> 
> It's a horrible thought... and I hope like hell bigger people are treated with the same amount of respect as those at or under average size. Just thinking about this topic makes me want to diet.





Thank you, I appreciate that. I never followed up our story here but i had posted about him an old 'your first FA thread' if you wanna read how things started with us... we reconciled obviously and had a short but great run.
My concerns about my family dealing with this kept me here as well... a few times...
I am sure they are for the most part treated with utmost dignity... people in those professions seem to have a good grasp on propriety... Im just wondering kind of logistics....


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## johnnny2005 (Apr 18, 2009)

Im so sorry to read about your loss of partner Bebe *hugs*


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Apr 18, 2009)

Sorry about your loss

I have those same concerns. I am a bit over your highest weight and sometimes when I get a chest pain at night lying in bed, I panic about how anyone, or an army, would get my super sized body down the stairs.

But even death aside, I wonder how I would be rescued from a car crash, I wonder how anyone could save me from a burning building, I wonder if I needed urgent medical attention and the helicopter has a weight limit and I exceed it, what will happen? What happens when I don't fit into an ambulance, what happens when the crew can't lift on the gurney/stretcher or if it breaks? I can't fit out the windows of houses in the UK, how the hell can I save myself??

So yeah, these are very real fears. But hopefully in a year or so, these fears will be a thing of the past.


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## truebebeblue (Apr 18, 2009)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Sorry about your loss
> 
> I have those same concerns. I am a bit over your highest weight and sometimes when I get a chest pain at night lying in bed, I panic about how anyone, or an army, would get my super sized body down the stairs.
> 
> ...




Yeah I used to be plagued with thoughts like that... even small things like... what if I get a flat or run out of gas and dont have a cell phone on me...I couldn't walk more than 100 feet...i was in a near constant state of anxiety. It's gone now but sometimes I remember it so vividly.


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## truebebeblue (Apr 18, 2009)

johnnny2005 said:


> Im so sorry to read about your loss of partner Bebe *hugs*



Thanks, he was a great guy.


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## Sandie S-R (Apr 18, 2009)

When going thru a grief counseling course some years ago we had to spend a few hours at a Mortuary. I specifically asked about larger bodies in death, and the mortician told me that a custom casket can be made for any size - no problem. Cremation has some limitations. He said that here in the San Diego area (where I live) that there is only one crematorium that will cremate people up to a body weight of 600#. The other crematoriums stop at the weight of 400#. Not sure if they are all like that, but I'm thinking that may be very standard. So, anyone over 600# will likely not be able to be cremated.

You can always call a mortuary in your are and ask questions. They are generally pretty kind and helpful I have found, and they can certainly tell you what can and can't be done at different weights in death. 

Hope that helps.


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## cinnamitch (Apr 18, 2009)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> Sorry about your loss
> 
> I have those same concerns. I am a bit over your highest weight and sometimes when I get a chest pain at night lying in bed, I panic about how anyone, or an army, would get my super sized body down the stairs.
> 
> ...



Now i can only give you what i know. i know helicopters have picked up a couple of people at a time so it stands to reason you could be picked up. 
I have been in an auto accident where i had to be cut out and it was done and i was removed without incident other than my pants falling off. I was around 430 lbs then. Working in a nursing home we have picked up patients who have fallen out of the bed and i remember one man in particular was over 500 lbs. We had to pick him up off the floor and onto the bed and he could not walk so he was no help whatsoever. It took 5 of us to do it but if you put a sheet or blanket under them and lift with the blanket , it isn't that bad. I remember him going to the hospital several times and he was put on the stretcher each time. only problem he ever had was that they could not pull up the side rails and just had to belt him in and also they didn't keep the stretcher raised. It was lowered to floor level so he couldn't be hurt if it collapsed, so no biggie. Now when they had advanced notice, they could bring the heavy duty stretcher. So i would think if someone called an ambulance it would be good to alert them you are bigger and maybe they can bring more accommodating equipment. All in all i would not sweat it.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Apr 18, 2009)

cinnamitch said:


> Now i can only give you what i know. i know helicopters have picked up a couple of people at a time so it stands to reason you could be picked up.
> I have been in an auto accident where i had to be cut out and it was done and i was removed without incident other than my pants falling off. I was around 430 lbs then. Working in a nursing home we have picked up patients who have fallen out of the bed and i remember one man in particular was over 500 lbs. We had to pick him up off the floor and onto the bed and he could not walk so he was no help whatsoever. It took 5 of us to do it but if you put a sheet or blanket under them and lift with the blanket , it isn't that bad. I remember him going to the hospital several times and he was put on the stretcher each time. only problem he ever had was that they could not pull up the side rails and just had to belt him in and also they didn't keep the stretcher raised. It was lowered to floor level so he couldn't be hurt if it collapsed, so no biggie. Now when they had advanced notice, they could bring the heavy duty stretcher. So i would think if someone called an ambulance it would be good to alert them you are bigger and maybe they can bring more accommodating equipment. All in all i would not sweat it.



yes, but everything in the UK is ten times smaller I didn't worry about these things as much in America.


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## Ned Sonntag (Apr 18, 2009)

My wife was in the upper 500s at the time of death and I was given some grief that she might not be 'accommodated'. But the crematorium in Duxbury did the deed with no prob. Wow that was three years ago.


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## succubus_dxb (Apr 18, 2009)

My uncle passed away when I was 13, and he was always 'Super Sized'- I really don't have a good idea, but I think he would have been 400 and something pounds when he passed away. I remember hearing my parents on the phone with the airlines (He passed away in London,and we brought his body to the states) - there is a 'standard' charge for bringing a coffin on a flight, however they did charge extra because he was such a large man.


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## truebebeblue (Apr 20, 2009)

Thanks for everyone's contributions thus far. I did think things have become a bit more advanced cine we are all getting so much larger in general these days...glad to know there arent some huge areas of "omg what do we do" in most cases. I guess we can thank the super sized people before us and their partners who went through those events when noone knew what to do with large people because it was so much more rare.


True


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## ssbwjedisweetheart (Apr 20, 2009)

Three years ago my mom and me went to Hawaii for a vacation and she died over there.My mom was 5'2 380 she died in the ER and they where able to get her up on the gurney it took five people but they did it. The hospital had no pro keeping her body in the morgue and we had no pro getting her body ship back to CA. Are local funeral home had no pro with her either. We didn't bury my mom in a piano box, she did have to have a large coffin but it was white with gold angel on the corners and on two angels on the lid. I remember this because it was all i stared at.


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## thatgirl08 (Apr 20, 2009)

I don't particularly worry about how they'll accomodate me when I pass away (probably since I'm only 18 and don't see that happening any time soon) but I do obsess over what they would do if I ever need to get an ambulance or something. Could they lift me? I had to be put in a wheelchair about a year (and nearly 50 pounds) ago for a few minutes and the girl had trouble pushing me in the hallway and that made me really nervous. Also, this seems like a strange worry to most but I have a bit of a obsession over the idea that I'm going to faint (thank panic disorder/GAD for this random fear) and I constantly think to myself, when I'm out places, about who would have to move me to a couch or something if I wear to faint. I also worry about how ridiculous I would look while fainting and whether or not I'd hit my head and go unconscious but those are obviously non size related. I'm not exactly super sized (5'7" or 5'8" and 330 pounds) but I still worry I might be too big for certain things in the case of an emergency. I really hope this isn't the case. :/


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## Sandie S-R (Apr 20, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> I don't particularly worry about how they'll accomodate me when I pass away (probably since I'm only 18 and don't see that happening any time soon) but I do obsess over what they would do if I ever need to get an ambulance or something. Could they lift me? I had to be put in a wheelchair about a year (and nearly 50 pounds) ago for a few minutes and the girl had trouble pushing me in the hallway and that made me really nervous. Also, this seems like a strange worry to most but I have a bit of a obsession over the idea that I'm going to faint (thank panic disorder/GAD for this random fear) and I constantly think to myself, when I'm out places, about who would have to move me to a couch or something if I wear to faint. I also worry about how ridiculous I would look while fainting and whether or not I'd hit my head and go unconscious but those are obviously non size related. I'm not exactly super sized (5'7" or 5'8" and 330 pounds) but I still worry I might be too big for certain things in the case of an emergency. I really hope this isn't the case. :/



I have been taken to the ER via ambulance/paramedic/fireguys probably 6 times at least in the last 6 years. As recent as last week as a matter of fact, and there is no problem for them in managing this. I am around 380 now, but have been as high as 420. The fireguys never batted an eyelash. They just put their arms around me, lifted me up on the gurney and off we went. 

These guys are young, strong and well trained, and have always been kind and respectful to me. Never had I had any problem whatsoever with being taken to the E.R. by the firemen paramedics. 

Don't let your imagination get the better of you. At 330# you are in no danger of any difficulties with rescue services should you need them.


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## AnnMarie (Apr 20, 2009)

As a person who works in publishing, I've worked on many EMT texts (one that's a standard issue training manual) and there are standard procedures for handling patients over 200-250lbs. Instead of 2, they can use 4. You don't have to deadlift a patient, you can use a sheet or blanket, etc. 


Basically, many of us are the weight of 2 grown (maybe overweight) men, maybe slightly more, but we're not talking about trying to move a statue or a horse - we're just more unwieldy - but they're trained to deal with patients of size, even if you happen to end up being on the larger end of what they're prepared for. They will figure out a way. 


They make large size coffins - here: 

http://www.dignifiedcaskets.com/Oversized_Caskets_s/12.htm

And as someone else mentioned, they can make a casket to size when needed. 

My understanding of cremation is that we're (much larger people) to be cremated on our own - and not at the same time as another (in another chamber) because there is a higher chance of fire from our cremation due to the oils. 


An interesting (older) article on death in larger people, funerals, etc: 

http://www.nytimes.com/2003/09/28/u...oesn-t-fit-all.html?sec=&spon=&pagewanted=all

And here is something specific to cremation, the process, and mentions fat people: 

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1294/what-happens-during-cremation


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## truebebeblue (Apr 20, 2009)

Its good that you dont worry about it... its a terrible feeling. I don;t really have it anymore but i did for years even at your age. 
My ex passed away at 24 from sleep apnea, so we just really are never prepared when it is our turn it just happens.

True






thatgirl08 said:


> I don't particularly worry about how they'll accomodate me when I pass away (probably since I'm only 18 and don't see that happening any time soon) but I do obsess over what they would do if I ever need to get an ambulance or something. Could they lift me? I had to be put in a wheelchair about a year (and nearly 50 pounds) ago for a few minutes and the girl had trouble pushing me in the hallway and that made me really nervous. Also, this seems like a strange worry to most but I have a bit of a obsession over the idea that I'm going to faint (thank panic disorder/GAD for this random fear) and I constantly think to myself, when I'm out places, about who would have to move me to a couch or something if I wear to faint. I also worry about how ridiculous I would look while fainting and whether or not I'd hit my head and go unconscious but those are obviously non size related. I'm not exactly super sized (5'7" or 5'8" and 330 pounds) but I still worry I might be too big for certain things in the case of an emergency. I really hope this isn't the case. :/


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## truebebeblue (Apr 20, 2009)

Wow,Awesome thanks for all of that. You are helpful and concise as always.


True





AnnMarie said:


> As a person who works in publishing, I've worked on many EMT texts (one that's a standard issue training manual) and there are standard procedures for handling patients over 200-250lbs. Instead of 2, they can use 4. You don't have to deadlift a patient, you can use a sheet or blanket, etc.
> 
> 
> Basically, many of us are the weight of 2 grown (maybe overweight) men, maybe slightly more, but we're not talking about trying to move a statue or a horse - we're just more unwieldy - but they're trained to deal with patients of size, even if you happen to end up being on the larger end of what they're prepared for. They will figure out a way.
> ...


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## AnnMarie (Apr 20, 2009)

truebebeblue said:


> Wow,Awesome thanks for all of that. You are helpful and concise as always.
> 
> 
> True




And sorry, meant to include a link to the cremation/fire thing... I know it sounds insane, but I did read a story on it not long ago... I just can't find anything right now. Will post if I do.


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## AnnMarie (Apr 20, 2009)

Here's info from a cremation supply site: 

http://www.blcremationsystems.com/faq.html



> Q: *What is the time needed for an obese case?* A: Obese cases take longer than regular cremations due to the amount of material that is being cremated and with large amounts of fat being present, the unit is operated slower to better control the combustion process. The size of the individual is the main factor, although the gender also has to be taken into consideration. Most of our models operate at an average 100 pounds per hour destruction rate, with a maximum rate of 150lbs. per hour. The size of the body divided by 100lbs/hr, plus heat up time is the best average.




I actually find that really interesting - essentially, we need to be processed slower in order to control the process and avoid combustion. Another site I found said it's more costly because someone has to be present the entire time to make sure there are no issues of combustion, etc.


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## thatgirl08 (Apr 21, 2009)

Sandie S-R said:


> I have been taken to the ER via ambulance/paramedic/fireguys probably 6 times at least in the last 6 years. As recent as last week as a matter of fact, and there is no problem for them in managing this. I am around 380 now, but have been as high as 420. The fireguys never batted an eyelash. They just put their arms around me, lifted me up on the gurney and off we went.
> 
> These guys are young, strong and well trained, and have always been kind and respectful to me. Never had I had any problem whatsoever with being taken to the E.R. by the firemen paramedics.
> 
> Don't let your imagination get the better of you. At 330# you are in no danger of any difficulties with rescue services should you need them.





AnnMarie said:


> As a person who works in publishing, I've worked on many EMT texts (one that's a standard issue training manual) and there are standard procedures for handling patients over 200-250lbs. Instead of 2, they can use 4. You don't have to deadlift a patient, you can use a sheet or blanket, etc.
> 
> 
> Basically, many of us are the weight of 2 grown (maybe overweight) men, maybe slightly more, but we're not talking about trying to move a statue or a horse - we're just more unwieldy - but they're trained to deal with patients of size, even if you happen to end up being on the larger end of what they're prepared for. They will figure out a way.




Thank you both very much. Both of your responses were really reassuring. :]


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## truebebeblue (Apr 21, 2009)

VERY interesting.




AnnMarie said:


> Here's info from a cremation supply site:
> 
> http://www.blcremationsystems.com/faq.html
> 
> ...


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## BeaBea (Apr 23, 2009)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> yes, but everything in the UK is ten times smaller I didn't worry about these things as much in America.



Donni, 
every UK Hospital has facilities, procedures and furniture for dealing with Plus Sized patients now. Its taken a while but its all in place. 
The same with Ambulances - if you ever need one make sure that the person calling for it tells them you are heavy and that way they'll route the specially equipped one straight to you. If theres any delay then they will send a paramedic out to look after you and treat you while its en-route. 
Tracey xx


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## moore2me (Apr 27, 2009)

Dear truebebeblue, thatgirl 08, and bigbellySSBBW,

Several years ago, I had an accident inside of a public restroom. I was injured & fell to the floor inside of a confined area of a toilet stall. At the time I weighed around 500 pounds. I could not get up due to a combination of my injuries, my weight, my MS, and my perpetually crappy knee joints.

An ambulance and the fire dept was called. Both groups of mostly men and one woman were very nice, professional, and courteous. I was scared, hurt, and mortified to be in such a position needing assistance. They did everything they could to be nice to me tho. 

It took about four burly men to drag me out to a little larger area, where they rolled me onto a heavy duty carrying tarp with multiple handles (designed to carry heavy people). Then about six men carried me to an area where they had a heavy duty rolling gurney that they put low on the ground and rolled me onto. The gurney was then snapped up in an elevated position with me on board. When the firemen got to the waiting ambulance outdoors, they rolled the gurney into the back of the ambulance transport vehicle.

Since this whole sideshow was going on in broad daylight in a public forum, I asked the men to make sure that my body and face was covered in case some idiot wanted to take pictures. They helped me keep covered and no one could tell who was being transferred. The whole incident that is the stuff of a fat girl's nightmares turned out okay.

I was so impressed by the actions of the fire dept and the paramedics that when I was released and could get around a few days later, I visited each of their workplaces to thank them. I also took them muffins and cookies from a local bakery. They seemed very pleased.


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## imfree (Apr 27, 2009)

moore2me said:


> Dear truebebeblue, thatgirl 08, and bigbellySSBBW,
> 
> Several years ago, I had an accident inside of a public restroom. I was injured & fell to the floor inside of a confined area of a toilet stall.....snipped...



Moore2Me, your post made me think of the ambulance ride to
the VA hospital, this last time I was in there. The crew 
performed with such professionalism and care that I felt
completely safe and, at times, even comfortable. I was truly
blessed, kudo's to those guys.:bow:


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## thatgirl08 (Apr 27, 2009)

Thanks Moore, that's really reassuring.


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## Russell Williams (Apr 28, 2009)

When Peggy Williams died she was about 550. A large casket was obtained for the funeral and she was creamated without any problems what I know of.

The local ambulance service has a stretcher that is rated at (I believe) 650 lbs and a local MRI has opened which has a capacity of 550 with a bore that is 27 lnches wide.

the table has to go through the bore but an approximation of what it will handle is pi x D or 81 inches. 3.14 x 27 milnus a bit for the table.

So it will probably easily handle up to 78 inch hips. 

Russell Williams


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## BeaBea (Apr 28, 2009)

Russell Williams said:


> a local MRI has opened which has a capacity of 550 with a bore that is 27 lnches wide.
> 
> the table has to go through the bore but an approximation of what it will handle is pi x D or 81 inches. 3.14 x 27 milnus a bit for the table.
> 
> ...



This probably isn't the right thread to discuss this but just for information - MRI's aren't always recommended for larger patients. Not because of size or weight and issues of fit but because it can be very hard to get a readable image for accurate diagnosis when scanning a supersized body. Technology and understanding are developing all the time but it pays to ask a lot of questions of your Doctor and the Technician if it's suggested that an MRI scan is required for you.

Tracey x


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## OIFMountaineer (May 4, 2009)

Hi everyone.

I realize this is an odd place to start my first post, and I was planning on making my introduction in the proper manner, but I read this thread and had to respond.

First off, please accept my condolences on your loss. Losing the one you love is, while a part of life, one of the most shocking, difficult things a person goes through. You will be in my thoughts.

Secondly, the reason I am posting in this thread is because I work at a funeral home. Please know that everyone, regardless of size, race, creed, or financial affluence is treated with dignity, reverence and respect. We have a sign in our preparation room that says "When someone's loved one is here, this room becomes sacred." 

There are unique challenges in regard to BBP, and some of them involve additional financial considerations for the family. As was said before, every casket company offers over-sized caskets, (this isn't just for BBP, as extra-tall people have similar issues) but these cost more than standard sized models. This is due to the fact that these caskets are either custom made, or in limited production. Additionally, if cremation is considered, there may be more difficulty in finding a crematory with adequate equipment, and these also cost more than the average cremation, due to the reasons others have mentioned.

Some have talked about concerns over the cot collapsing, or difficulties in lifting the person, either in an emergency situation, or in death. Most modern cots are more than capable (ours is tested at over 1000 lbs), and we are trained in proper lifting and transport techniques, regardless of the situation (I am also a volunteer firefighter) I'm glad the experiences many of you have had with funeral homes and first responders has been positive. Dignity and professionalism are important to both, and it seems that your experiences have exemplified that.


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## moore2me (May 4, 2009)

OIFMountaineer said:


> Hi everyone.
> 
> I realize this is an odd place to start my first post, and I was planning on making my introduction in the proper manner, but I read this thread and had to respond.* . . .(Previous post deleted for brevity) . . . *
> (I am also a volunteer firefighter) I'm glad the experiences many of you have had with funeral homes and first responders has been positive. Dignity and professionalism are important to both, and it seems that your experiences have exemplified that.



Mountaineer,

Welcome to DIMS. You will be a welcome contributor to our discussions. A lot of us fat girls (and boys) are nervous around medical people because we have had bad experiences in the past. It is comforting to hear what first responders are thinking. It is also good to know what to expect at funeral homes. Thanks for the input.

Moore2me
M2M


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