# Are fat women/men easier???



## SocialbFly (May 26, 2007)

I know this thread is not without its own controversy, but i have heard this my whole life, and i was just curious....

do you think fat women/men are easier???

my answer is, i guess i have mixed reviews, i know some fat people who have lower self esteem and may be more susceptible to the bullogney and manipulation of some people...but as a whole, i don't think we are any easier than anyone else...some people used to talk about some of the bashs being a hotbed for some to "get lucky" but if you have ever been to any other type of bash, this is no less true...i have been to a couple of nursing conventions that were very frisky, no less so than anything else in the fat community...

i own my sexuality, and at times have enjoyed it immensely...but does that make me easier than the fellow non fat person, hell no....

so, what do you think??

Are fat people "easier"?

:bow:


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## Chimpi (May 26, 2007)

Absolutely not. Especially now that I am involved in this specific community, to me, it is easy and plain to see that we (fat human beings) are not easy, in any sense of the term. In fact, I would not have the guts to ask out some of the women on this board (if I were free and were interested) for fear or rejection or just for the feeling of feeling "Un-holier than thou". *Shrugs*

I do not believe that fat men or women are easier. Not easier to get on a date. Not easier to get in bed. Not easier in the sense of feeling "better than".

I have co-workers and friends that would disagree, naturally, but only because they happen to find _all_ women easy. :doh:


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## BeaBea (May 26, 2007)

Interesting question - and beautifully and carefully worded! I cant say this relates to weight exactly but: 

When I had low self esteem I was harder to get on a date and easier to get into bed. 

Now my self esteem is very healthy and I'm pretty easy to get on a date and damn hard to get into bed. 

I think when I was unsure of myself I found it hard to say yes to a date as I was convinced that it might be for a joke, or that the man was asking me because he thought I was easy. If he managed to get me on the date and was polite and attentive then I probably felt he had expectations and that I had some obligation to sleep with him. Now I'll say 'yes' to almost any polite request for a date. As long as we have something in common and I think it'll be an interesting experience to meet the requester (and I'll be safe, obviously) then I'm happy to spend a few hours over coffee and to see what happens. Actually persuading me between the sheets takes a whole lot more though, there needs to be strong attraction, he has to put in effort and time, he has to be patient and there also has to be that ever elusive spark...

Looking forward to hearing the other responses 

Tracey xx


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## Koldun (May 26, 2007)

Good question.....

I don't know the answer - I think it would depend on the person you're asking.


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## Tooz (May 26, 2007)

Well, I know I'm not. If I entertain goin' out with you, you should feel lucky.


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## Violet_Beauregard (May 26, 2007)

I think I have to agree with Tracey on this....

My self esteem has always been low...until the last couple of years. Prior to that, IF anyone showed any ounce of interest, I felt like I had to go to bed to keep them around. If not, I felt like I'd never hear from them again. Now don't get me wrong, I didn't sleep with a zillion guys. The few guys I was with, I didn't even really enjoy myself with, because the whole time I was thinking "why is this guy interested in me???" I consciously thought that the entire time!

Since I met my first FA, it's changed. I value myself, my appearance and my self-worth considerably more, and the FA I'm with now makes me feel like a million bucks and he never fails to tell me me how much he adores me. I think because my self esteem is higher, I'd wait much longer to go to bed with a guy cause I want to make sure this guy really thinks I'm something. 







BeaBea said:


> When I had low self esteem I was harder to get on a date and easier to get into bed.
> 
> Now my self esteem is very healthy and I'm pretty easy to get on a date and damn hard to get into bed.
> 
> Tracey xx


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## Sandie S-R (May 26, 2007)

Fat women easier? 

 

Oh yeah, sure.



Ask the spouses. 

My husband always chuckles at that one. - I just mentioned this thread to Guy and he said, "Easy? You gotta be kidding? Easier to spot in a crowd, maybe."  

All kidding aside. He also said, that, no not easier. Especially when you have to plow thru a mine field of psychological damage and issues that most fat women have (from being treated poorly). 

Couple that with the fact that most of us are Princesses, well, you get the picture.


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## sweetnnekked (May 26, 2007)

This is certainly a question more for the women than for the men, I think.
Concerning falling for the "baloney" handed out by someone looking to get some, I've never heard it. I don't think women are that shallow and manipulative towards a man they are trying to get into bed. Yes, they can be just as manipulative as guys in other aspects but, let's keep to the point at hand.
I had a girlfriend once who was totally into big guys and approached me with the intent of getting to know me better. I, having always had low self esteem, was petrified to ask her out but figured if she was flirting heavily, she must be interested. 
After having known her awhile she admitted to me that her first thoughts to herself were, 'he's got a butt and a gut, I gotta' have him!!"
I found this shocking as this was my first and sadly, only foray into the world of FFA's. But my point is, I was never finagled into sleeping with her, she was interested and I was too!!!
Guys on the other hand, can be total scum and use any situation to their advantage in order to get into your pants. I'm not saying all guys are like this but certainly many.
Let me ask this; how many of you women made your first move on your man and was it sincere or did you have to trick him to get him into bed?
So, I think neither are easier but men are definitely more manipulative and crafty!!!


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## Koldun (May 26, 2007)

Thought about it.

I think that a woman who is comfortable with her weight (whatever that weight may be) is a better lover. They're more prone to start sex and more fun to be with. 

I think that's part of the reason why I find the women on this board attractive - they seem comfortable with themselves....if that makes any sense....


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## Mechelle (May 26, 2007)

IMO it has more to do with self esteem. The skinny girl with low self esteem that was neglected by her father will pretty much take any attention that is given to her that resembles affection. Same as with fat girls or guys... if they do not have self worth they will give themselves away in a quest for acceptance and love. It has more to do with how starved a person is for love acceptance and affection. If you have very little in your life in those areas you can be fat, skinny, ugly, smart not so smart.. and you will take more crap in the name of "love" then those that have a good self worth. If you value yourself you are more likely to hold out for someone worthy to share your most intimate self with.


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## Violet_Beauregard (May 26, 2007)

BINGO!!! That is it exactly!!!! 




Mechelle said:


> IMO it has more to do with self esteem. The skinny girl with low self esteem that was neglected by her father *will pretty much take any attention that is given to her that resembles affection*. Same as with fat girls or guys... *if they do not have self worth they will give themselves away in a quest for acceptance and love. It has more to do with how starved a person is for love acceptance and affection.* If you have very little in your life in those areas you can be fat, skinny, ugly, smart not so smart.. and you will take more crap in the name of "love" then those that have a good self worth. If you value yourself you are more likely to hold out for someone worthy to share your most intimate self with.


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## justonemoreguy (May 26, 2007)

Mechelle said:


> IMO it has more to do with self esteem. The skinny girl with low self esteem that was neglected by her father will pretty much take any attention that is given to her that resembles affection. Same as with fat girls or guys... if they do not have self worth they will give themselves away in a quest for acceptance and love. It has more to do with how starved a person is for love acceptance and affection. If you have very little in your life in those areas you can be fat, skinny, ugly, smart not so smart.. and you will take more crap in the name of "love" then those that have a good self worth. If you value yourself you are more likely to hold out for someone worthy to share your most intimate self with.



:bow: Wow! and Amen! Right on!


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## Ruby Ripples (May 26, 2007)

Mechelle said:


> IMO it has more to do with self esteem. The skinny girl with low self esteem that was neglected by her father will pretty much take any attention that is given to her that resembles affection. Same as with fat girls or guys... if they do not have self worth they will give themselves away in a quest for acceptance and love. It has more to do with how starved a person is for love acceptance and affection. If you have very little in your life in those areas you can be fat, skinny, ugly, smart not so smart.. and you will take more crap in the name of "love" then those that have a good self worth. If you value yourself you are more likely to hold out for someone worthy to share your most intimate self with.



Maybe in some others here cases but I dont believe this is always the case at all. Being neglected by your father makes you take any attention that resembles affection?? And being fat and having low self esteem makes a person give themselves away? Nope. I know several cases of people who had both of those and actually stayed BACK from attention and affection due to low self esteem. They didnt have the confidence to even accept ANY. In fact, it's the people I know with probably the lowest self-esteem that stayed virgins much longer than the bouncy, confident, popular types who were out partying and having sex. I would agree that a person with low self esteem once in a relationship is more likely than a confident person, to accept negative treatment, but I think the strange "father/daughter" attention comment doesnt result in girls being "easy".


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## Violet_Beauregard (May 26, 2007)

I agree Ruby, about it not necessarily being connected to the father/daughter thing. I do think that a lot of fat women with low self esteem will take any attention at all, because they crave it so much. I say this based on my own experiences, of course, and I don't say it's the case for all fat women, but I do think it's the case in a lot of them. In my brain, until I found that FAs existed, I thought I'd never find someone who loved my size, so when I got attention, I wanted to hang onto it..whether it was real love or not.





Ruby Ripples said:


> Maybe in some others here cases but I dont believe this is always the case at all. Being neglected by your father makes you take any attention that resembles affection?? And being fat and having low self esteem makes a person give themselves away? Nope. I know several cases of people who had both of those and actually stayed BACK from attention and affection due to low self esteem. They didnt have the confidence to even accept ANY. In fact, it's the people I know with probably the lowest self-esteem that stayed virgins much longer than the bouncy, confident, popular types. I would agree that a person with low self esteem once in a relationship is more likely than a confident person, to accept negative treatment, but I think the strange "father/daughter" attention comment doesnt result in girls being "easy".


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## lemmink (May 26, 2007)

Hm, in my experience I've found that fat men & women are WAY harder to date and get into bed. I'm not sure what talents these people who find "fat chicks easy" have up their sleeve (nice cars? sexy come-on lines? great hair?), but I sure wish they'd spread the knowledge.

The thin people I knew with low self esteem were always more likely to sleep around than the fat ones (who never did, to my knowledge, anyway...).


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 26, 2007)

It's kind of ironic to me to read some of the responses here about having low self esteem so it made them more likely to have sex because I was the total opposite. My low self-esteem saw myself as so ugly that I wasn't comfortable enough to let people see me naked hence, making me less likely to have sex with someone.

In general though, I think a person's "easiness" doesn't really have much to do with weight- there are plenty of "easy" thin people around but I agree that low-self esteem plays into it- no matter the size though.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (May 26, 2007)

I was easy - by choice. I wanted to have sex so I did. That doesn't make me cheap - it makes me sexual.


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## Violet_Beauregard (May 26, 2007)

Good point, and well said.  Bravo!




Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I was easy - by choice. I wanted to have sex so I did. That doesn't make me cheap - it makes me sexual.


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## knottyknicky (May 26, 2007)

I feel like the issue of self esteem and being "easy" has more to do with all women than fat women specifically...The thin women I know have wretched self esteem and can't understand how I can actually be happy with myself, thick or thin. I'm extraordinarily picky...and since its so rare someone comes along that piques my interest enough to *gasp* sleep with them...it might appear to an outsider that I'm easy, when in reality I'm very much in control of my sexuality and who I'm willing to share that with. That being said, guys awesome enough to garner my interest don't come along all that often, so its a long wait for me


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## eightyseven (May 27, 2007)

I feel like our society that is entirely obsessed with being thin almost WANTS people to believe that fat women are "easier." That's because in this society, you're only SUPPOSED to have good self-esteem if you fit the beautiful/acceptable body type... and that's the sad reason behind many beautiful women and men succumbing to crazy diet plans and the like. This notion of fat women being "easier" really only exists to support and enforce this notion. It's entirely ignorant, however, because we all know that one's self-esteem is determined by a variety of factors - it's not exclusively about how one feels about their own body. Confidence is CLEARLY not reserved for people of a certain physique, and those who don't believe that probably have some insecurities of their own.


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## SocialbFly (May 27, 2007)

I know (and yes, this is a real story) that when i was younger, i actually had a couple of guys say they wanted to sleep with me, cause "big girls don't get it as often as they want it" and i was always quick to say, it isn't the quantity we lack but the quality, that usually shut them up, but that being said, i was always surprised by that...this is what motivated the question.


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## RedHotAva (May 27, 2007)

I'm a big hypocrite when it comes to this! I will usually only date men who I know to be FAs, because then I know I don't have to be self conscious. Then on the flip side of that, I automatically question their motives- if I know them to be a FA, are they only into me for physical reasons? So then even though I'm not self-conscious about how I look to them, I am much more reserved in giving away any slices. Basically, I run a bait-and-switch, but not to be mean! I just don't trust.


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## Santaclear (May 27, 2007)

I never heard that fat women are "easier" before I started posting here. I still don't think they are. But I've never been even close to "easy" myself so maybe I wouldn't know!


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## cute_obese_girl (May 27, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> It's kind of ironic to me to read some of the responses here about having low self esteem so it made them more likely to have sex because I was the total opposite. My low self-esteem saw myself as so ugly that I wasn't comfortable enough to let people see me naked hence, making me less likely to have sex with someone.



Same here. Of course the really ironic part for me is that I have much better self esteem now than I did say 5 years ago, but my easiness factor has not really gone up, lol. I'm still cautious about it not because I'm uncomfortable with my body, but because *some* guys are jerks and I want to know that's not what I'm getting into.



Sandie_Zitkus said:


> I was easy - by choice. I wanted to have sex so I did. That doesn't make me cheap - it makes me sexual.



I agree Sandie, I don't think that makes you easy at all. To me being easy is trying to fill an emotional void by having sex and then being crushed if it doesn't lead anywhere. This is more like fulfilling a natural biological need and being okay with the decision before and after no matter if you were going to see him again or not. Why not, guys do it all the time.


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## Dr. Feelgood (May 27, 2007)

Are fat women easier? Easier to love, maybe.:wubu:


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## justonemoreguy (May 27, 2007)

I'm back after mulling this one a bit
I can speak of full figured ladies because that's what I've always liked and sought. They have more of what a guy is looking for anyway and although they aren't always jolly in any sense they can be fun if they'll let themselves have it. 
That wasn't a reference to sex but a reference to letting themselves have fun in all ways.:bow: 
I can honestly say that if they were 'easy' then I'd have had a whole lot more sex than I've had in my life and loved it all. As it is I loved it all but it wasn't easy or often and never too much.:blink: 
They're women and women aren't easy!:shocked: :doh:


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## Miss Vickie (May 28, 2007)

I think for me it was definitely a self esteem issue. I know that in my early adulthood that I'd engage in sexual behavior (risky sexual behavior at that) in order to get the attention I desperately wanted and felt I needed but didn't deserve. So my criteria wasn't "does this guy (or gal) turn me on?" but rather "Does he or she like me?" As such, I suppose I could have been considered easy because other than good hygiene, my standards were pretty low.

Now, the question is: Did I have low self esteem because I was fat? Maybe. But I think it's at least as likely that I had low self esteem because I was physically and sexually abused as a child and then lost my parents at the age of 12, with no real guidance after that. I was pretty much at sea, desperate for acceptance, love, attention -- you name it. I think that made me particularly vulnerable to poor choices. Thank goodness I fell in with a more or less reputable crowd so didn't get into any serious trouble. It could have been a LOT worse.

I'd like to think that now, at the ripe old age of 42, should I ever become single that I'd be a helluva lot pickier than I was at 18. But I plan never to find out. :wubu:


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## MsGreenLantern (May 28, 2007)

I agree totally with the self esteem issues brought up.

I have seen large women on both sides of the issue. I had a room mate with obvious metal issues and very low self esteem because of her weight, and she had sex with anyone, anytime. She didn't descriminate gender, race, age, whether they were engaged, married, involved, if you complimented her, you could have her any way you wanted. It was very sad. She wasn't even safe about it.

On the other hand I had a friend who had religious values that prevented her from having sex (or any sexual activity basically) before marriage. She was happily in a long term relationship with a man who respected it last I heard. 

Personally, I have been the butt of that joke. Many college guys still do seem to assume that fat chick= easy lay. I have been taken in by a couple of these ploys before of "oh I really like you!" just to try and get in my pants that night. Fortunately for me, I figured it out quickly, and I have "respectfully declined" such offers thus far. I won't "put out" until the man can "put out a commitment"  Is it prudish, or prudent?


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 28, 2007)

MsGreenLantern said:


> I agree totally with the self esteem issues brought up.
> 
> I have seen large women on both sides of the issue. I had a room mate with obvious metal issues and very low self esteem because of her weight, and she had sex with anyone, anytime. She didn't descriminate gender, race, age, whether they were engaged, married, involved, if you complimented her, you could have her any way you wanted. It was very sad. She wasn't even safe about it.
> 
> ...



Nah, just your preference


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## kerrypop (May 28, 2007)

Although the OP labeled the thread fat women/MEN easier, I thought it was interesting to see that nearly all of the responses were pointed at women. I'm not sure what this implies, but I think a lot of it has to do with the same old stereotypes that come up so often about not only women, but men as well. I really liked what SandieZ had to say, because it was clear and addressed this issue headon. If a woman chooses to sleep with someone (or more than one someone!) does this automatically make her "easy?" what if she's simply a desireable lady who is really picky, but has a lot of... suitors, and therefore a lot of choice? And, although some guys are "easy," I don't know if they're generally thought of in those terms... and not all guys are willing to sleep with whoever, whenever. I don't think anyone is saying this, but the lack of entries about men really perplexed me.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 28, 2007)

^^I like that post Kerry 

Just want to say though, that I have always been wary of men that seemed to have "too long" of a sexual history- but mainly the ones that brag about not wearing a condom :blink: :doh:


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## Ruby Ripples (May 28, 2007)

kerrypop said:


> Although the OP labeled the thread fat women/MEN easier, I thought it was interesting to see that nearly all of the responses were pointed at women. I'm not sure what this implies, but I think a lot of it has to do with the same old stereotypes that come up so often about not only women, but men as well. I really liked what SandieZ had to say, because it was clear and addressed this issue headon. If a woman chooses to sleep with someone (or more than one someone!) does this automatically make her "easy?" what if she's simply a desireable lady who is really picky, but has a lot of... suitors, and therefore a lot of choice? And, although some guys are "easy," I don't know if they're generally thought of in those terms... and not all guys are willing to sleep with whoever, whenever. I don't think anyone is saying this, but the lack of entries about men really perplexed me.




I understand what you are saying here. I simply spoke from the female perspective as that is all I know of. I was very aware too that the OP said men as well as women, I guess most respondents were women and were speaking from their own personal experience, hence the female bias, although yes I can see that "easy" is still considered to be a female thing. 

I posted on another site a rather long pissed rant because some woman was accusing a guy of thinking her a "slut", "easy", etc because he asked if she would like to hook up that evening. I HATE the whole "slut" notion thing and I wish it would disappear. Men are NEVER "sluts", they are studs and get pats on the back for sexual promiscuity whilst women are frowned upon for it. I've always thought it so wrong. I loved Sandie's post, because it showed the way I feel about this subject. If a person wants to sleep with .... one person in their life, or a thousand people in their life, it doesn't make them any less of a person. I had a close gf who slept with a lot of men because she loved sex and had a high sex drive - she didn't want a bf at that time in her life. She wasn't a bad person, she was really lovely, kind and sweet. And a HELL of a lot more moral than some supposedly "respectable" women who looked down their nose at her. Easy, slut etc should be banned expressions, as they are just usually applied to women, and women who are doing nothing but exercising their right to have sex. Oh and those terms are usually applied by the very guys who would try to leap into bed with said women! It will be nice if the day comes when people can see that some people just have more partners than other, and that's just life and it's fine!

ps. After seeing GEF's post above... I never ask partners about their sexual past and don't expect them to ask me about mine. It's maybe just something with me, but I don't find that knowing a partner's past adds anything to our relationship/experience. However from what you said there Caroline, Im wondering if these are guys that WANT to tell you.. in which case, yes I'd be cautious. But then you know what they say... all talk and no action.


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## SocialbFly (May 28, 2007)

i am soooooooooooooooo not an op, i just put what i felt was an honest question out there, i do think there are stereotypes out there that exist...we will always have the sluts and goddesses, or the satyrs and ho's in a group, (and just as oposite, the pious never dids) but that being said, i was asking for opinions or self ideas on the thought...you would be surprised how many men who go to the bbw dances (i can speak for the st louis area, as i was one of several women who put them on in st louis for many years) to get lucky...i know one man who came to a dance and left with one woman, came back after um, enough time, get my drift, then was leaving with another woman...self esteem issues may be part of it, maybe wanting to get lucky with him was another, but those are some serious stereotypes...and unfortunately, some streotypes ARE founded on reality, and that was what i was asking...what do you think???


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## SocialbFly (May 28, 2007)

yes, that being said, many of us, myself included, go through times in our life, when we are sluts or not...it is part of growing up, and maturing and changing what is important in our lives...me now...well, ask me if we meet, lol


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## love dubh (May 28, 2007)

I have no problem with anyone's numbers, provided that those numbers didn't leave anything behind. The only thing I want to see is that clean bill of health re: STIs from the clinic, mutual attraction, and we're in for a good time.


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## SocialbFly (May 28, 2007)

see a clean bill of health doesnt work for me, too easy to be sassy in between that time and you, plus, i would want 6 months of a clean bill of health...sigh...oh for the 70s....


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## Ruby Ripples (May 28, 2007)

SocialbFly said:


> i am soooooooooooooooo not an op, i just put what i felt was an honest question out there, i do think there are stereotypes out there that exist...we will always have the sluts and goddesses, or the satyrs and ho's in a group, (and just as oposite, the pious never dids) but that being said, i was asking for opinions or self ideas on the thought...you would be surprised how many men who go to the bbw dances (i can speak for the st louis area, as i was one of several women who put them on in st louis for many years) to get lucky...i know one man who came to a dance and left with one woman, came back after um, enough time, get my drift, then was leaving with another woman...self esteem issues may be part of it, maybe wanting to get lucky with him was another, but those are some serious stereotypes...and unfortunately, some streotypes ARE founded on reality, and that was what i was asking...what do you think???



LOL Im not sure what you think I meant by op, It means "Original Poster" ie. the person who started the thread  Yes I agree with all you had said there, I just was trying to say that the sooner the idea of sluts and easy are got rid of, the better. That was most unclassy of that man to leave with two different women at that dance, but I guess that was his choice, lol. I wonder if the second woman knew about his earlier conquest! To me, if there had to be a definition of a "slut", it would be a man or woman who purposely set out to simply have sex with a particular person, knowing the person was already taken, and still going for it, or even enjoying it more because they are taken. So it would be the situation where an innocent partner could be very hurt by this person's actions. I guess to sum it up... I believe .. if you are free agents, have sex, if you are swingers and enjoy sharing, have sex, just everyone enjoy it, but don't hurt anyone.


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## SocialbFly (May 28, 2007)

i was thinking op as in moderator, lol...color me stupid today, that is what happens when i dont get enough sleep, some stupid dog was barking in the apt across from mine alll afternoon, 3 hours of sleep isnt enough, i swear...lol...and great post Ruby...


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## big_gurl_lvr (May 29, 2007)

Hmmm... it usually happens that skinny girls appear to me easier than fat ones for some reason... it happened few times that skinny one was trying to get me to bed (never ended there anyway) and it never happened for big girl being like this. It was me who was trying... pretty hard usually  And hey... what does easy mean... if people agree on having sex together no matter if there is love or just lust between each other it is all ok as long as nobody is taking advantage on other person and they both respect each other.


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## Dreadlock Holiday (May 29, 2007)

I'm not fat, and I'm probably easier than I'd like. Sometimes.

I agree with the idea on page 1 that there's more to work through and so it can be harder. When I was less confident I was less easy, because I wasn't convinced of the motivation behind any approach I got. I'm always less easy when I'm less confident.


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## Dreadlock Holiday (May 29, 2007)

Haha, I'm not sure if this place is a representative sample. It certainly looks true in the microcosm.


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## Lilbexter (May 29, 2007)

I have to admit; I think some men and women do lower their standards with the opposite sex, and jump at the chance to be with him or her believing they are not worthy of anything better, and it will be there only time do engage. Even though this obviously isn't the case, I do think that it's how many larger people (especially women) feel. 
I suppose I've always had enough self esteem to realize that I didn't need to settle for less then I deserve, but I've always had those lingering thoughts about not being "good enough" for an extremely attractive or intelligent guy. Sometimes I feel guilty for having certain expectations of men, because I'm not so sure I'm in the position to be picky as a curvier girl. Needless to say, I try my hardest to do what's best for me as a person, disregarding any negetive thoughts about my body. So are bigger women and men easier? No, not necesarilly, but I think there's a larger chance that they don't feel deserving of a relationship (wrongly so, of course).


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## LillyBBBW (May 29, 2007)

I don't know about anybody else but I know that at my lowest there was no way I was going to appear naked in front of anybody. It's vulnerability and I used to have nightmares about being in my underwear in front of my peers and having them laugh. I didn't lose my virginity till I was 31. Lots of people have different responses to low self esteem. I know some people who fit the stereotype and I know some skinny chicks who do also. I wouldn't say fat girls in general are easier. 

I don't think I've ever met any easy fat boys. I haven't given up hope yet though.


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## Lovelyone (May 29, 2007)

I can only speak from my own experiences. For me, my low self esteem comes from societal pressures to fit in and be the "perfect" person. Do I think that some fat people are easier because of low self-esteem? Sure. Do I think that some thin people are easier because of some issue in their lives that causes them to reach out for love or comfort? Sure. I have to say that people are people no matter what size or shape they are. Low self-esteem can come from ANY issue, not just weight or size. My opinion is...that no matter what part of the population is generally chatted about, you will find SOMEONE that has a tendancy to be "easy".


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 29, 2007)

I have a question- if someone is "easier" while fat, would they suddenly get "less easy" if they were suddenly thin? or would a potential broader playing field make them even more so?

Would losing a bunch of weight suddenly rain down self esteem on someone in the way that it counts? I suppose this is why I don't believe that "fat people are easier"


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## BeaBea (May 29, 2007)

A few years ago I lost 140lbs over the course of 12 months. My self esteem took a complete nose-dive. I didn't know who I was, didn't feel comfortable in my new skin and was worried that FAs who had previously fancied me wouldn't any longer.

From my point of view a sudden weight loss absolutely didn't make me easier, it made me horribly self conscious which, lets face it, never helps make you feel like a Goddess in the sack.

Tracey xx


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## xdeementedxdeemonx (May 29, 2007)

SocialbFly said:


> I know this thread is not without its own controversy, but i have heard this my whole life, and i was just curious....
> 
> do you think fat women/men are easier???
> 
> ...


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## olivefun (May 30, 2007)

I understand where the stereotype comes from. If you looked like Beyonce or someone, she gets a lot of attention, in order for her to go for an average looking guy with an average come-on, it would take a leap of faith.
It is thought that a fat woman gets fewer offers of dates because of numbers. There are fewer FAs than men who appreciate an average sized woman.

We've been discussing the self esteem of the woman a lot here, but I think it is something to do with the self esteem of the man too.

Let's say the man has some personal issues, being seen to be dating an average sized woman doesn't thrust him into a spotlight the way being with fat me would.

I am babbling now..

A long time ago, when I was in my early 20's, I met a man in a bar one day where I was a waitress. He flirted with me and I was thrilled because I thought he was cute. He came there a second time and then we decided to go to my place for a drink after work. Turns out he was scoping the place and while I was in the washroom, after sex with him, he filled a bag of some of my valuables and ran out the door. I felt so violated, of course, for a number of reasons.
About a week later, driving, I saw him go into a bar on the other side of town. I had called the police about the incident. I called them and an undercover cop went into the bar and got the guy. Turns out he only targetted fat women because he thought they were more likely to be flattered by his attention.
I got a lot of my stuff back but not the damage it did to my psyche.
For trusting him, I felt so stupid.
Luckily I got over the experience by the time I had my next boyfriend, which was soon after, and an excellent relationship, but had I not been as strong and supported by friends, I could see something like that having a long lasting effect.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 30, 2007)

Personally, I think it really is just a stereo-type that assumes if you're fat then you must be "desperate" and will do anything for attention/love etc. 

When you get down to it, fat people aren't any different when it comes to sex though- some thin people have self-esteem issues like some of us do and some just love sex- like some of us again. Why we are made out to be somehow "different" than thin people is just the usual discriminatory propaganda, imo.


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## Paw Paw (May 30, 2007)

I have not found that BBWs were easy. Not on a general level, anyway. I have dated some girls that were, but I doubt it was an isssue of self esteem. Those individuals, were doing what they wanted to do. Work the hell out of the little guy!LOL 

As far as BHMs I have no idea, as we don't really get to how and whys. I know several but they prefer slim women. 

On the other hand, I myself have the record of being easy. I can't say it is because of self esteem. Mind you it was very difficult for me to talk to larger girls. They just never seem to take someone my size seriously. That and they (women) generally want someone taller, and larger than myself. Until they try it out. But, my easiness was based on the fact that I was trying to prove something to them.

Make any sense?

Peace,
2P.


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## boogiebomb (May 30, 2007)

I've had this conversation with a lot of people over the years and it still bugs me that people think fat girls are easier to get. In my experience fat women are harder to get. Of course there is an exception to every rule but by and large fat girls don't trust men. They are terribly suspicious and unforgiving. That's not to say they don't have the right to be. There are a lot of assholes in the world. Back in the day when I partied a lot I found out first hand that skinny women are easier. In most cases they're easier than men. That's not to say that there is anything wrong with having a good time. As long as you don't hurt anyone, do your thing. I just wish people would leave my fat girls alone. They have enough crap to deal with. Dr. Phil, Oprah, Gilmore Girls being cancelled, too much crap!!!


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## tjw1971 (May 30, 2007)

I think the "low self esteem" thing only explains *some* situations. It's not a "one explanation fits all" deal here....

The bigger factor, I've noticed, is that women are generally more likely to have a sexual interest in a guy who appears confident, mature, and "knows what he wants/likes". Many guys aren't really able to maintain all of this "presence" in front of a woman they feel is "sexy" in the stereotypical "supermodel" or "Barbie" fashion. They're a little intimidated, and worried about how they'll "stack up" to the perceived large number of "very eligible, attractive" guys who already "hit on her" before them.

But many of these same guys feel like they're "a great catch" for a bigger woman, who is perceived by them to have fewer choices/options.

Let's face it... Nobody likes to be "shot down", especially out in public where everyone else can watch it happen. So they look for the woman they think is more likely to say "yes" to them.... and in the process, they come across better with those "first impressions".




boogiebomb said:


> I've had this conversation with a lot of people over the years and it still bugs me that people think fat girls are easier to get. In my experience fat women are harder to get. Of course there is an exception to every rule but by and large fat girls don't trust men. They are terribly suspicious and unforgiving. That's not to say they don't have the right to be. There are a lot of assholes in the world. Back in the day when I partied a lot I found out first hand that skinny women are easier. In most cases they're easier than men. That's not to say that there is anything wrong with having a good time. As long as you don't hurt anyone, do your thing. I just wish people would leave my fat girls alone. They have enough crap to deal with. Dr. Phil, Oprah, Gilmore Girls being cancelled, too much crap!!!


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (May 30, 2007)

I really don't understand the concept of "easy" in this term.

Could somebody explain it? It seems meaningless to me.


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## Adrian (May 30, 2007)

I feel there is a mis-perception by many men (young in particular) and they confuse the reality that BBWs are treated poorly by society. Therefore, they (BBWs) must be lonely. To a man a real part of this myopic thinking is that loneliness 'equals' horneyness!! Because when they are lonely they are not interacting well with others while their sexual needs go unattended. It is not necessarily that he is a dimwit but, has a very selfish as well as shallow perspective of the world around him.



Fuzzy Necromancer said:


> I really don't understand the concept of "easy" in this term.
> Could somebody explain it? It seems meaningless to me.


A direct answer to your question, some men consider BBWs as being 'easy' or a woman of whom would allow the man to have sexual intercourse with them without much resistance because, the BBW is lonely! (Hey, some men do feel that way!)
This is down right insulting any way you look at this topic.

Adrian


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## SocialbFly (May 31, 2007)

this post was not meant as insulting...to me it was a way for us to dispell myths even among ourselves...isn't that what Dims is partially for? to correct ideas in our heads that are full of caca???


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## Adrian (Jun 1, 2007)

SocialbFly said:


> this post was not meant as insulting...to me it was a way for us to dispell myths even among ourselves...isn't that what Dims is partially for? to correct ideas in our heads that are full of caca???


No, no, no.... I was not referring to us discussing this topic, what I find insulting are the people who feel this way, the guys who seek quick sex because they perceive BBWs as being more available because BBWs have less options in sexual partners.

Sorry, for not making this point more clear, previously.

Adrian


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## Mimi (Jun 1, 2007)

I suspect that what people actually believe about BBWs and BHMs is that we are desperate ... from there some strange leap is made that if we are desperate we *must* be easy too. I received an e-mail once from what I'd have to call a "non-FA" ... in a nutshell he said "_it's ok that you're big, you have a nice face so I'd still date you_" as if *I* was sooooo lucky to have this guy look in my direction and consider taking me out!!! Ugh!!! All I could conclude from that is that he thought I'd be "easy" and therefore worth taking a shot on, because clearly he wasn't in it for a relationship. (I'd hate to think a woman would ever end up with him in any capacity.)

My fear is that this notion of promiscuity is also a label attached to big people just because it is a demoralizing and oppressing one, as it is one often similarly attached to racial minority groups. It makes me wonder if the first person ever to say that big women/men are easy was concluding that from any evidence or was he just pulling a negative comment out of thin air. My guess is it was the latter.


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## Jon Blaze (Jun 1, 2007)

Are fat people "easier" in my eyes? heyea-nooooooooo...no.


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## UMBROBOYUM (Jun 1, 2007)

As a small guy I don't think it makes me harder or easier to get. I know what I want and I'm willing to wait for it. Its hard, but I think the pay off will be great. So I guess it depends on knowing what you really want? I don't know for sure, but I guess its another view to consider?


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## Letiahna (Jun 3, 2007)

BeaBea said:


> Interesting question - and beautifully and carefully worded! I cant say this relates to weight exactly but:
> 
> When I had low self esteem I was harder to get on a date and easier to get into bed.
> 
> ...



I just have to say I can SO relate to this. Thank you for posting it!


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## Grandi Floras (Jun 3, 2007)

I think that people are people and whether you are easy or not is irrelivant, it is personal prefferance whether you wish to be easy or not.

Sexual Prefferance or the Size of your Body is not a factor in the dating game in most instances, how soon you head to the bedroom depends on the individual.

As for Large Sized people being easy, well, I don't think that we are any easier than anyone else when it comes to Love or just Lust.


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## Fuzzy Necromancer (Jun 3, 2007)

Adrian said:


> A direct answer to your question, some men consider BBWs as being 'easy' or a woman of whom would allow the man to have sexual intercourse with them without much resistance because, the BBW is lonely! (Hey, some men do feel that way!)
> This is down right insulting any way you look at this topic.
> 
> Adrian


But, I mean, they're going to have sexual intercourse without much resistance too. =S


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## TCUBOB (Jun 3, 2007)

I used to think that this was true, but I don't believe it anymore. It's a myth that fat people are so hard up for affection and sex that they will grab at any lifeline like someone who's drowning. Or at least it is today....I think that it is possible, though, in the recent past that fat people had much less self-esteem than they do now (not that we're necessarily brimming with it) and that for a significant number, it might have been true that they would "take what they could get."


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