# Outta the closet---are ya?



## ManOWar (Sep 30, 2006)

Wondering.

I'm out as out c'n be. I loves a big gal, an' not ashamed to say it.

You?

Not saying it's better or not better, no judgement no judgement, alakazam, but---are ya?


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## GordoNegro (Oct 1, 2006)

Just glad I never thought or considered only taking ssbbw after midnight as some are doing this evening as we speak.
Just a good feeling to be in the park, museum, movies with a confident big girl glowing like the sun above or appreciating her own brightness among the Times Square lights.
No closets for me past/present/future thankfully.


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 2, 2006)

I was a little torn between answers 1 and 2, but I wound up selecting #1. I don't exactly go on parade with my orientation, but I'm very open about it and will explain it to anyone who will ask. I've found myself doing that a LOT over the past year, and I will continue to do it as I truly believe that it's making a difference. My Long Island stomping ground is not a BBW party, but lately, it might as well be. I took the place on by storm with some of the fattest women that Long Island has ever seen, and since then, I've noticed more and more fat girls done up real nice, looking good next to their handsome dates.
It's one of those Cheers types; everyone has known each other for years. I'm easy to pick out with my kilt flaying around on the dance floor, and everyone from the bartenders to the bouncers and everyone inbetween know that I won't even look at a girl unless she's 100lbs overweight. In fact, a friend of mine is thinking about experimenting with a SSBBW and might come up to Heavenly Bodies with me on my next visit.
No one pokes fun, either. Some of the girls are a little disappointed that I'm not interested in them, but they certainly do love hearing that they're too thin. What amazes me even further is that they'll scour around for the fattest girl in the room and point her out to me ("how about her...gonna go after her?").
I'm screwed for the night if the pickins' are slim (pun intended), but I still enjoy knowing that I can be open about who and what I am. Definitely shows you who your friends really are.


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## SexxyBBW69 (Oct 2, 2006)

I bet those bbw's who are done up nice you had a hand in making them see how beautiful they are....


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## SoVerySoft (Oct 2, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> ...In fact, a friend of mine is thinking about experimenting with a SSBBW and might come up to Heavenly Bodies with me on my next visit...



Um..err...experimenting? :shocked:


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## Jes (Oct 2, 2006)

SoVerySoft said:


> Um..err...experimenting? :shocked:


Petri dishes, bunsen burners and test tubes, oh my!

It's interesting that the women to whom you've said; you're too thin: like it, bruce (and I'm in no way disagreeing with you since your experience is your experience and i'm sure you're right), because I hear other women saying they don't like being told they're too thin, at various events. It's an interesting question/poll, nonetheless. Keep us updated with your friend's experiences at the next event.


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 2, 2006)

SoVerySoft said:


> Um..err...experimenting? :shocked:



Yup, experimenting. A good friend of mine recently broke it off with a stick figure he's been with for two years now. He's known me since 1996 and he recently asked why I'm fat-girls-only. I explained my case to him; I love the look and the feel of a fat girl, and the sex is out of this world. His eyes lit up when I told him what it was like to have a 400lb girl lying in front of me, and how hard I would thrust to achieve penetration.
I'd probably convince many others to "experiment" if I word it like that, but I digress. The point is that I may have converted and recruited another fine young man to this fantastic community.


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 2, 2006)

Jes said:


> Petri dishes, bunsen burners and test tubes, oh my!
> 
> It's interesting that the women to whom you've said; you're too thin: like it



They like it because it's a vote of confidence. The girls I refer to are 130lbs soaking wet, so hearing me tell them they're too thin really livens them up.


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## Jes (Oct 2, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> They like it because it's a vote of confidence. The girls I refer to are 130lbs soaking wet, so hearing me tell them they're too thin really livens them up.


oh, ok. I'd totally misunderstood, sorry (thought you were talking about significantly larger women, looking for FAs). And now do me a favor, and PM me about the thrusting, eh? I have questions.


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## LJ Rock (Oct 2, 2006)

Yes indeed, I am completely open honest about my preference for BBWs and my love of fat... most importantly and assuredly with myself. Also with anyone else who cares to know.

No need to cram it down anyones throat. I don't feel the need to extoll my sexual preferences to anyone it doesn't directly apply to (cheifly, someone I intend to have sex with. lol) I don't think that is particularly healthy for one to equate one's sexual identity with one's overall personal identity too much. I am a human being, and my sexual tastes and desires are just a part of who I am and not the whole.

However, I will say that it is good to heave found a community on line here at Dimensions where like minded folk can talk openly and honestly about the things we find sexually stimulating. Participating in such discussions has definately helped me get a better sense of myself and who I am as a sexual being. So in that sense, I don't at all mind opening up and sharing.


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## wrench13 (Oct 4, 2006)

LOL, guess what, lads? If you date BBWs or SSBBWs, your out of the closet whether you know it or not. Unlike most preferences, it is virtually impossoble to hide one's admiration of big women from friends , family, co-workers or even passers-by ( unless you are one of the contumelious dogs who are never seen in public with fat girls). 

You don't have to extoll the virtues of the beautifully full feminine form, the fact that you are out with her at the movies, dinner, show, park, club, company picnic, or where ever does that for you. 

Everyone who knows me ( and having been a performer for over 20 years, a LOT of people know me) knows that AL drives the big rigs! :eat2:


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## jimj (Oct 4, 2006)

Anyone who knows me knows I am attracted to bbw.I would never want to hide it and love to let people know.When I'm with a bunch of guys they always have questions.They love to ask which women I find sexy but most just don't get it.


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## Littleghost (Oct 4, 2006)

I looked at #3 for a significant amount of time, but only because it was funny. I then checked #2 and was recorded as voting for Pat Buchanan. Dammit.

There's no way I'm counting all those things,
--Littleghost


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Oct 4, 2006)

I love my full figured ladies, but I see no need to pretend my mouth is a bugle and sound off on all the virtues of fatness whenever I have an audience. I just try to be myself, enjoy the woman I'm with and not focus on what the rest of the world thinks.


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## Craiger16 (Oct 5, 2006)

I made a Live Journal Post about my love of large ladies. and people were quite supportive of it. Basically it comes down to how open minded they are. Unlike my family who sick the health card on me. and the "She would be pretty if she was thinner."

I cant stand it!

Also I would like to add, its been my experiance that girls who get mad when they are told they are "too thin" are the ones who are acctually very thin. Not because I love BBW do I see them as too thin, but I dont think they weigh more than 100lbs.


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## icedemon428 (Oct 5, 2006)

I can't say I've completely come out yet, but I'm getting there. I've been a little reticent when talking about it, but I'm slowly coming to realize that the people who make fun of me for the preferences I keep aren't the people I shoud call my friends in the first place. Funny, though, that it took me 7 years of being a lurker in this community to realize that lesson.


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## Xenophon (Oct 5, 2006)

I'm not officially 'out' to all but a few close friends, but people aren't stupid and tend to guess whenever they meet my girlfriend (or, in the past, previous ones). As she is currently losing weight for health reasons, I suppose it will eventually cease to be an issue.


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## Xenophon (Oct 5, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> His eyes lit up when I told him what it was like to have a 400lb girl lying in front of me, and how hard I would thrust to achieve penetration.



Reading this sort of thing makes me very sad that my honey is slimming, having never been super-sized in the first place.  

Bah. Self-pity is uncharacteristic and undignified. But I'm allowed one day in the year.


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 5, 2006)

Sorry to hear about that, dude. But bear in mind that you've got the power to change that! My ex used to think about dropping a few pounds here and there but she found it to be impossible with the way we used to go out to eat. The girl loved to eat, and I loved to watch...it worked out so perfectly...


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## Ample Pie (Oct 5, 2006)

yeah but if she's doing it for health reasons...


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## Xenophon (Oct 5, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> The girl loved to eat, and I loved to watch...it worked out so perfectly...



Dude, don't *"%@ing tell me that ! My happiness depends on suppressing or reconditioning my FAness.
As Rebecca has pointed out, the health issue is key. Weight affects everyone differently. My poor girl has suffered very badly, and weight-related problems run in her family anyway.
It's nice to hear some kind words though


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 5, 2006)

Firstly, it was a jestful comment. Apparently, no one recognized sarcasm unless I include a fuckin' smilie. Secondly, it's not fair to you to have to reconstruct or surpress your 'FAness' for anyone. It's no different than being gay and having a woman come on to you and insist that you abandon your nature. 
In my experiences, I've found that a relationship that needs compromise is a relationship that needs to end. I've known many young ladies in my time, but lately, I can only make time for those who can compliment who and what I am.


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## Ample Pie (Oct 6, 2006)

maybe you're just not as artful with your words as you are with your images. 

Also, for the record, I think there's a difference between someone asking him to change his preferences and him being willing to adjust to changes that someone he cares for *has* to make. Maybe that's just me.

Sorry, if you were being sarcastic again and I missed it.


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## Ample Pie (Oct 6, 2006)

and btw, I'm very out about my preference for fat women. No one gives me grief about it, but mostly because I am a fat woman. 

Wouldn't care if they did, though.


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 6, 2006)

Rebecca said:


> maybe you're just not as artful with your words as you are with your images.
> 
> Also, for the record, I think there's a difference between someone asking him to change his preferences and him being willing to adjust to changes that someone he cares for *has* to make. Maybe that's just me.
> 
> Sorry, if you were being sarcastic again and I missed it.



For me, part of being 'out' about being an FA simply derives from my refusal to compromise myself any longer. I've had girlfriends in the past who were stick figures compared to my recent love interests, and even if the chemistry was great, they still couldn't or wouldn't believe that I found them attractive. In fact, one of them went as far as calling me ODD for being what I am. The relationship was over not even two months later, and not specifically for that reason (but it played a big part).
Weeks later, I met Karen, my most recent ex. She was around 300lbs at the time and had no ambition of getting any fatter (though it happened), BUT, she knew about Dimensions and she had a level of confidence that I had never seen in person. After being a Dimensions regular since 1998 and seeing ladies like Heather, Anna, and Cindy pioneering the size acceptance movement, it seemed as if women like them only existed in an FA's fairy tale. Finally I met one of my own, and it didn't take long for the two of us to get cozy with each other, and even after a year of separation, it's still hard to fully let go.
My point, though, is that her confidence fit my orientation like a glove. There was never a dull moment in the bedroom. Never. She enjoyed having a boyfriend that admired her appearance just as much as her spirit, and I enjoyed having a girlfriend that was comfortable and happy with her fat body. We had some rough spots and decided to take a break from each other four years later, and when we came to that decision, I promised myself that I wouldn't go back to the women who weren't confident or thought I was odd for admiring them.
As far as health goes, I don't want to hear it. Lazy doctors will pin anything ranging from heart problems to a sore throat on obesity. Lap bands and gastric bypass surgeries are the nose job of the 21st century, and they will solicit it through anti-fat propoganda, otherwise known as "health risks". Within three years you'll be fatter than you were before the surgery, and while you're wondering why you're losing your hair and your skin looks like a deflated balloon, your trusty surgeon will be sipping lemonade on his yacht and will have long-forgotten about you. Case in point, I still talk to Karen once in a while, and she lost a little weight (naturally, I wasn't feeding her anymore), and her doctor started pressuring her for lap band surgery and scaring her into thinking that her life depended on it. Well guess what? At 360lbs (roughly), SHE STILL DIDN'T MEET THE CRITERIA TO GET THE SURGERY. In other words, she was fat and healthy, and as soon as her doctor realized that he wasn't making any money for performing the surgery, she suddenly went from a walking heart attack to being healthy as a horse.
PS, self destructive habits like smoking are usually to blame for these health risks. A single cigarette will do more damage to your body than a McDonald's value meal ever could. I'm a mere 200lbs with a lot of muscle mass, yet I still have high blood pressure. Karen, at 400lbs, had a heart of hearts stronger than a bucking bronco, so I'd like to see a doctor tell me that my condition is obesity-related and explain to me why she was so healthy.


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## SexxyBBW69 (Oct 6, 2006)

And if they arent confident in their skin you do have a way of changing that & opening their eyes to seeing how truly beautiful they are....


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## Ample Pie (Oct 6, 2006)

I don't compromise either--I won't accept less than is right for me, or less than I'm willing to give. I'm not even saying that's necessary. But I am saying if she's having health issues and needs to lose weight, it isn't like she's asking him to change his preference. I'm not going to argue someone else's life anymore tho.

I'll just say this. When my last g/f came to me and was afraid she had breast cancer and we talked about options--chemo, mastectomy, and so on. I didn't (and wouldn't) give up on her just because she might have had to make some changes to her body.

I'm really glad that you like fat women. I do too. But for me the WOMAN comes first, then the fat, when I'm talking about anything more than physical attraction. Of course I notice the fat first on a physical level. But once there's emotion involved, I'm not going to give up on someone for changes they _need_ to make. I don't consider that compromising who I am. Or what I like. Or what I'm attracted to. 

Of course, If the changes are self destructive and serve no other purpose, then the issue is deeper and then I'd view it as a matter of compromise. All bets are off. Support someone? Yes, support them in their need to hurt themselves, no dice.


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## bigsexy920 (Oct 6, 2006)

I wanna know who the 2 that are in and staying in are. 

I tell ya Im a SSBBW but Im not really ready to get out of the closet yet. If I dont hurry I may not be able to fit through the door of it.


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 6, 2006)

Rebecca said:


> I'm really glad that you like fat women. I do too. But for me the WOMAN comes first, then the fat, when I'm talking about anything more than physical attraction. Of course I notice the fat first on a physical level. But once there's emotion involved, I'm not going to give up on someone for changes they _need_ to make. I don't consider that compromising who I am.



You're right. But more often than not, changes that _need to be made stem from scare tactics brought about by doctors and/or dieticians looking to make a quick buck. 
We're ultimately comparing apples to oranges but I still know what you mean._


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 6, 2006)

SexxyBBW69 said:


> And if they arent confident in their skin you do have a way of changing that & opening their eyes to seeing how truly beautiful they are....




I'm the best at what I do, but I obviously can't be there for _everybody_.


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## Ample Pie (Oct 6, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> You're right. But more often than not, changes that _need to be made stem from scare tactics brought about by doctors and/or dieticians looking to make a quick buck. _


_
until you're a fat woman, I don't think you can make this assertion with 100% assuredness.

Not that I don't think Doctors and Dieticians and the whole lot of them are right. I don't. I'm sick of being told my every little ailment is because I'm fat. However, the weight really can do things to your body--it can have adverse affects--even while it does some good things to your body._


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 6, 2006)

Rebecca said:


> I'm sick of being told my every little ailment is because I'm fat.



So am I. I dated someone recently, within the 450lbs range, and she was having problems walking. Doctor told her time and time again that she had to lose weight, and as soon as she saw a second doctor, she found out that she had suffered a fracture.

I understand that obesity eventually does prohibit certain functions. And believe me when I say that I'm always there to help in any way I can. My purpose in life is to please fat girls and make their lives easier, but aside from that, you pretty much proved my point.


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## LillyBBBW (Oct 6, 2006)

bigsexy920 said:


> I wanna know who the 2 that are in and staying in are.
> 
> I tell ya Im a SSBBW but Im not really ready to get out of the closet yet. If I dont hurry I may not be able to fit through the door of it.



I still haven't told anyone that I'm an SSBBW. I'm not sure I'll ever tell anyone about it. The reaction from my friends and family would be too much to bear. How could I face them? Plus I could lose my job. Forget that, I aint tellin' NOBODY. Plus, I could stop at any time. I don't have a problem.


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 6, 2006)

Leave it to Lilly to lighten the mood. I'll be looking forward to seeing you for Halloween!


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## bigsexy920 (Oct 6, 2006)

LillyBBBW said:


> I still haven't told anyone that I'm an SSBBW. I'm not sure I'll ever tell anyone about it. The reaction from my friends and family would be too much to bear. How could I face them? Plus I could lose my job. Forget that, I aint tellin' NOBODY. Plus, I could stop at any time. I don't have a problem.



I dont think anyone will notice is you stand at an angle and if you always look UP into the camera.... Thats what I do and people are convinced Im a size 8 ...


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## Ample Pie (Oct 6, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> So am I. I dated someone recently, within the 450lbs range, and she was having problems walking. Doctor told her time and time again that she had to lose weight, and as soon as she saw a second doctor, she found out that she had suffered a fracture.
> 
> I understand that obesity eventually does prohibit certain functions. And believe me when I say that I'm always there to help in any way I can. My purpose in life is to please fat girls and make their lives easier, but aside from that, you pretty much proved my point.


not if your point is that a girl making a change to protect her health is the same thing as a girl trying to get a guy to change his preference.

the rest I didn't ever argue with.


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## LillyBBBW (Oct 6, 2006)

bigsexy920 said:


> I dont think anyone will notice is you stand at an angle and if you always look UP into the camera.... Thats what I do and people are convinced Im a size 8 ...



I wear solid colors and I have a pair of earrings that draw the eye upward. No one will ever know.


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## bigsexy920 (Oct 6, 2006)

Work it ... Im with you ... Lets NEVER tell


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## CuteyChubb (Oct 6, 2006)

I'd like to say, you FA's that are out of the closet are ssssssexy. :wubu: 
Now, the 2 who are in the closet, what are you 2 _doing_ in there????

Do you think we'll end up having a fat lover pride march one day?


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## SexxyBBW69 (Oct 6, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> I'm the best at what I do, but I obviously can't be there for _everybody_.



Well the ones you are there for appreciate it greatly


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## SexxyBBW69 (Oct 6, 2006)

LillyBBBW said:


> I still haven't told anyone that I'm an SSBBW. I'm not sure I'll ever tell anyone about it. The reaction from my friends and family would be too much to bear. How could I face them? Plus I could lose my job. Forget that, I aint tellin' NOBODY. Plus, I could stop at any time. I don't have a problem.


Ok it took me a few minutes to stop laughing before I could reply...
that was awesome


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## SexxyBBW69 (Oct 6, 2006)

CuteyChubb said:


> I'd like to say, you FA's that are out of the closet are ssssssexy. :wubu:
> Now, the 2 who are in the closet, what are you 2 _doing_ in there????
> 
> Do you think we'll end up having a fat lover pride march one day?



How great would that be Fat Lover Pride march!! Oh I would so be there


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 6, 2006)

SexxyBBW69 said:


> Ok it took me a few minutes to stop laughing before I could reply...
> that was awesome



Lilly is even more fun to be around in person than she is here at the boards, I highly encourage you to come up to MA for the Halloween party to see for yourself.

And I know that my efforts are appreciated. I can't save the world in one fell swoop, but I can certainly give it a go, one fat girl at a time.

Oh, and Rebecca, I'm not arguing with you, I know exactly what you were talking about. All I was saying is that the women who are convinced that they _need_ to slim down are often just buying the propoganda set forth by doctors and fitness gurus. In the years that I've kept up with the folks here at Dimensions, I've seen VERY few cases in which weight loss was a need rather than a want. I never hinted anywhere that these same women wanted us to compromise our nature.


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 6, 2006)

SexxyBBW69 said:


> How great would that be Fat Lover Pride march!! Oh I would so be there



Stick with the social gatherings, the drinks are cheaper.


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## Ample Pie (Oct 6, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> Lilly is even more fun to be around in person than she is here at the boards, I highly encourage you to come up to MA for the Halloween party to see for yourself.
> 
> And I know that my efforts are appreciated. I can't save the world in one fell swoop, but I can certainly give it a go, one fat girl at a time.
> 
> Oh, and Rebecca, I'm not arguing with you, I know exactly what you were talking about. All I was saying is that the women who are convinced that they _need_ to slim down are often just buying the propoganda set forth by doctors and fitness gurus. In the years that I've kept up with the folks here at Dimensions, I've seen VERY few cases in which weight loss was a need rather than a want. I never hinted anywhere that these same women wanted us to compromise our nature.


consindering that the oringal comment from you that I was replying to had to do with a woman who was changing for her health, I'm not so sure. But, alas, I'll give.


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## SexxyBBW69 (Oct 6, 2006)

UncannyBruceman said:


> Lilly is even more fun to be around in person than she is here at the boards, I highly encourage you to come up to MA for the Halloween party to see for yourself.
> 
> And I know that my efforts are appreciated. I can't save the world in one fell swoop, but I can certainly give it a go, one fat girl at a time.
> 
> Oh, and Rebecca, I'm not arguing with you, I know exactly what you were talking about. All I was saying is that the women who are convinced that they _need_ to slim down are often just buying the propoganda set forth by doctors and fitness gurus. In the years that I've kept up with the folks here at Dimensions, I've seen VERY few cases in which weight loss was a need rather than a want. I never hinted anywhere that these same women wanted us to compromise our nature.



You know Im going to add something here from my experience of being a fat girl & to what Bruce is saying..
Well this may not be a major life threatning medical condition but one I feel has been somewhat irritating yes pun intented I had the worst heartburn ever nothing helped I had a test done my Dr. says its due to my weight & that I need to lose weight because of the damage it is doing....hmmmmmmmmmm funny thing is I had the same heartburn 10 yrs ago when I was 120lbs so there goes that theory..

Bruce - you should wear a cape & we can call you Super Hero Bruce 

I really wish I could go I would love to meet Lilly she has only been so wonderful to me & is definately funny. :wubu:


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 6, 2006)

SexxyBBW69 said:


> Bruce - you should wear a cape & we can call you Super Hero Bruce



Hence the name, _UncannyBruceman_


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## babyjeep21 (Oct 6, 2006)

I'm so glad that there are people who know what they enjoy and aren't afraid to put their preference out there, but I'm going to have to step in and say that I'm not so sure how much good can come from someone who shouts about their love of fat girls off of every roof top and from every street corner. It is fabulous that you know what you love and love to share. However, like any serious topic, it is important to think about about how people percieve you.

I'm not saying that you should worry about being judged (God knows there isn't a day that goes by without unwanted attention from someone). I'm saying that you should be sure that you are setting a positive example.

When someone approaches me about their religion or political beliefs, I tend to automatically shut down. I don't want to hear it. Especially, if they're going to cram it down my throat. But if I see someone leading by example and showing me something positive... I'm much more likely to be open and willing to learn. 

So we should definitely praise those who love and enjoy what makes them happy, even if they aren't trying to force everyone else to try it. Good for the ones who set a positive example. :wubu:


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## UncannyBruceman (Oct 7, 2006)

When you've got people saying "she's too thin for you, huh?", you kinda can't avoid the whole shouting from the rooftops thing. I oughta know, it happened again tonight.


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## LillyBBBW (Oct 7, 2006)

SexxyBBW69 said:


> You know Im going to add something here from my experience of being a fat girl & to what Bruce is saying..
> Well this may not be a major life threatning medical condition but one I feel has been somewhat irritating yes pun intented I had the worst heartburn ever nothing helped I had a test done my Dr. says its due to my weight & that I need to lose weight because of the damage it is doing....hmmmmmmmmmm funny thing is I had the same heartburn 10 yrs ago when I was 120lbs so there goes that theory..
> 
> Bruce - you should wear a cape & we can call you Super Hero Bruce
> ...



I wish you could come too Sexxy, we'd have a blast.  I'm going to chime in here too. I know people who had health conditions that definitely improved with the loss of some weight. Single moms and some heavy dads have done things to enhance their ability to keep up with their kids and I've got no issues with people wanting to do that. But I can add to the chorus here on the other side of how doctors like to dangle the fat card in front of people for insipid things that they know dang well weight loss won't help.

I have a rare disorder and was put on meds for it 14 years ago. It was kinda scary and new for me and the doctors terrified me with gruesome tales of death and disfigurement if I didn't lose weight. Seriously, when I was unable to lose weight this doctor had me so messed up that I contemplated suicide when I left his office. I couldn't bear the life anymore and I dreaded going back to his office. It was a once a year appointment and I went through the year feeling fine and doing well until after I left his office. I had been doing some research and networking on my own and saw that weight and this disorder were not related at all and that regular physical activity was all that was necessary to control the disorder along with meds and checkups. But that doctor had me so scared, looking at me like I was the biggest thing he'd ever seen in his life and that all bets were off. The stress, guilt and fear was like nothing else. 

I went on an extreme weight loss regimen that included binging and purging and all kinds of crazy crap I haven't done since I was in Junior High on the gymnastics team. There were slim fast shakes in the fridge, those nasty assed things! I was so desperate to lose. I lost 65 pounds and went back to my doctor all proud of myself. He was really frigid and nervous. Towards the end of my appointment I reminded him of how he said that if I lost 70 pounds I could come off of the meds and quick as a flash he said, "Oh you'll never be able to come off medication." It was then that it dawned on me. This mother *-------* doesn't even know what the hell he's talking about at best. At worst he's been straight up lying! I've got REAL problems, I don't have time for this shit. I was so pissed off.

I shook his hand and told him goodbye, this is the last time you will ever see me and never looked back. That bastid almost KILLED me. I know there are people with a lot of, "I was fat as hell," horror stories of how they are so much better off now that they've lost weight but more often there are people who dropped dead from complications with only 10 pounds left to lose. I can only speak for myself but like Sexxy did with her gastro doc, you have to use common sense when going in to these doctors because the conditioning to blame fat is so strong that they often can't even see you sitting there as a human being.


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## Ample Pie (Oct 7, 2006)

you know, I never claimed that I was on the side of the myriad doctors who harp on weight. I'm not. Sometimes, I catch myself going about as anti-doctor/medicine as possible, simply because they DO want to blame everything on weight and not treat (in any sense of the word) me as a person. I don't believe that weight causes all the problems attributed to it. I don't believe all the BS that medical practitioners lay at my feet, because so many of them are biased (as are so many people in general.) 

My comments only pertain to people who genuinely need to lose weight for health reasons. Some folks genuinely do. And I think that abandoning them for those needs is ridiculous as is equating a medical need with a physical preference. 

that is all.


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## LillyBBBW (Oct 7, 2006)

I'm sorry if my post made you feel like I was criticizing you, it wasn't meant to. I think that in it all we all are pretty much in agreement, just looking at things through opposit ends of the fence. That time was like my darkest hour. If I had some guy in my life who was countering my desperation to lose weight or giving me a hard time, he would have been SO gone. To me, it would have felt like the guy didn't give a crap about my health at all, he'd ride me till I'm 6 feet under in Potter's Field for pleasure. I dont think Bruce is advocating for that here at all. Just speaking from a perspective that includese watching someone you love sacrifice portions of their health in favor of minor improvments elsewhere when those sacrifices probably aren't necessary. Bad experience makes us skeptics.

What I WISH I had was a voice of common sense at that time. You've got doctors and family screaming one thing and fat militants someplace else screaming another. What would have been nice would be to have a skeptic to gently say, "Hold on there, Missy - you're KILLING yourself. Here, let's just sit down and take a deep breath and look at everything to see what's rational." I really didn't have anything like that and when you're sick like that you're so afraid. It would have been nice to have an advocate to talk me down from the ledge with common sense. My expereince makes me naturally suspicious of people who claim weight loss is a cure for cancer or you can climb mount everest at 800 pounds and I'm sure Bruce feels the same. I don't think he was suggesting stopping people from doing what they need to do, just suggesting that one should view these things with a wary eye. 




Rebecca said:


> you know, I never claimed that I was on the side of the myriad doctors who harp on weight. I'm not. Sometimes, I catch myself going about as anti-doctor/medicine as possible, simply because they DO want to blame everything on weight and not treat (in any sense of the word) me as a person. I don't believe that weight causes all the problems attributed to it. I don't believe all the BS that medical practitioners lay at my feet, because so many of them are biased (as are so many people in general.)
> 
> My comments only pertain to people who genuinely need to lose weight for health reasons. Some folks genuinely do. And I think that abandoning them for those needs is ridiculous as is equating a medical need with a physical preference.
> 
> that is all.


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## Ample Pie (Oct 7, 2006)

I guess I see things differently. I figure if someone tells me they're making changes to their own lives for health reasons, I'm going to believe them until they've proven themselves to be a liar--whether I'm skeptical of the medical profession or not. And to me that's the line that was crossed--from being skeptical of the medical profession to being critical of a person for doing what she thinks is right for her health and of a man for staying with her. Bruce's original comment about this situation--aka the ONLY one I've taken issue with--seemed to call into question Xenophon's motive for sticking with his s/o. That looks, to me at least, to be removed from a healthy skepticism of the medical profession that we all seem to agree is necessary. 




LillyBBBW said:


> I'm sure Bruce feels the same. I don't think he was suggesting stopping people from doing what they need to do, just suggesting that one should view these things with a wary eye.


 

ps: I didn't feel criticized so much as misunderstood. Thank you tho.


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## Slowfuse (Oct 7, 2006)

While in Walmart yesterday (hush!), Saw a very cute red-headed BBW vendor restocking the Russel Stover display (no joke). she had on a very nice blouse and skirt. I walked up to her, and told her so, then asked her if she had ever visited the "dimension magazine" website? When she said no, I gave a brief description, and invited her to come check out. I hope she does. Does this count as "missionary work"? (hush! y'all get out of the gutter....). By the way, how about some clothing in the store? maybe a black tee, with a white sihloutte of a BBW, and the site name? and some bumperstickers? I would definitely buy...


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## chubscout (Oct 8, 2006)

I doubt that the result of this poll (84 % out of the closet) represents the true picture. Of course it could be that those 'in the closet' are much less likely to vote.


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## Jes (Oct 9, 2006)

bigsexy920 said:


> I wanna know who the 2 that are in and staying in are.
> 
> I tell ya Im a SSBBW but Im not really ready to get out of the closet yet. If I dont hurry I may not be able to fit through the door of it.


*snicker*
NOW i get it--I always wondered why you were on this forum since you only look to weigh about 98 lbs. But now I see you're in the closet! d'oh! All makes sense.


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## collegeguy2514 (Oct 9, 2006)

im out, er, well, kinda. i dont hide the fact that i like big girls, but i dont really go around telling people "oh by the way, i like fat girls." 

however, the whole feeding thing, well, most of them dont know about that. and nobody knows that im gaining weight on purpose (although its kinda obvious, considering how much i eat)


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## wavetank (Oct 10, 2006)

first of all. i think the closet is a crappy metaphor. 
second. my first ever girlfriend was a plumper.
it's only gotten better since then. 
my friends know. the same way they know I root for the yankees...
prefer hippie dippy jam bands to goth music...
like to wear preppie clothes as opposed to shiny guido duds...
i like fat chicks. it's just part of who I am. 
if you can't be seen doing what you like with who you like, then you aint livin. 

word.


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## SexxyBBW69 (Oct 10, 2006)

wavetank said:


> first of all. i think the closet is a crappy metaphor.
> second. my first ever girlfriend was a plumper.
> it's only gotten better since then.
> my friends know. the same way they know I root for the yankees...
> ...



wow now u are someone I have to meet :wubu:


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## LillyBBBW (Oct 10, 2006)

SexxyBBW69 said:


> wow now u are someone I have to meet :wubu:



I'm in line right behind you, Sexxy.


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## bigsexy920 (Oct 10, 2006)

wavetank said:


> first of all. i think the closet is a crappy metaphor.
> second. my first ever girlfriend was a plumper.
> it's only gotten better since then.
> my friends know. the same way they know I root for the yankees...
> ...



I love when men REALLY feel this way. I dont think you are like this Tank... but there are men that do say they are open about what they love and desire but really they are not. That is the worst because you really don't see it coming. I hate to be blind sided.


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## SexxyBBW69 (Oct 10, 2006)

LillyBBBW said:


> I'm in line right behind you, Sexxy.



lol not if I hide him under my belly


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## chubscout (Oct 10, 2006)

bigsexy920 said:


> I love when men REALLY feel this way. I dont think you are like this Tank... but there are men that do say they are open about what they love and desire but really they are not. That is the worst because you really don't see it coming. I hate to be blind sided.



In general, a big disadvantage of communicating over the internet is the ease with which people are able to misrepresent themselves. Not that this doesn't happen in real life too, but in that case it will be easier to find out the truth sooner rather than later.


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## UnknownSpirit01 (Jul 3, 2010)

I'm not out, not really a big deal to me really. I mean I've been keeping all my FA-ness over the internet private for over a couple of year and never had a problem keeping it all a secret *knock on wood*
But in all honesty, I'd like to come out so I can find other FA/BBWs/SSBBWs in RL and actually get to talk and hang with them, but I don't really see that happening. But I don't mind it at all really.


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## LovelyLiz (Jul 3, 2010)

UnknownSpirit01 said:


> I'm not out, not really a big deal to me really. I mean I've been keeping all my FA-ness over the internet private for over a couple of year and never had a problem keeping it all a secret *knock on wood*
> But in all honesty, I'd like to come out so I can find other FA/BBWs/SSBBWs in RL and actually get to talk and hang with them, but I don't really see that happening. But I don't mind it at all really.



Interesting. And yeah, certainly it's not a big deal if you don't plan to act on any of your attraction with actual fat people. I'm sure if the time comes when you do begin to mind not being able to date within your preferences, that may provide some motivation to begin to live in line with your actual desires.


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## CPProp (Jul 5, 2010)

Been out of the closet for more years than 40 years, perhaps longer than a lot of you have been alive. Ive never really been into what friends or family people think, they can take me as I am, preference as well  or not at all, if not its their loss, not mine.


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## bmann0413 (Jul 7, 2010)

I've been out. I just don't say anything about it unless someone asks me, basically.


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## UnknownSpirit01 (Jul 8, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Interesting. And yeah, certainly it's not a big deal if you don't plan to act on any of your attraction with actual fat people. I'm sure if the time comes when you do begin to mind not being able to date within your preferences, that may provide some motivation to begin to live in line with your actual desires.



Exactly, it'll happen when it actually happens. It's all the case of who catches my eye first and fall in love with, not with just her body but with the kind of person she is. If I find happen to find a girl who is plus-sized and fell in love with the kind of girl she truly is, then yes I would date her. And the same would go with any kind of woman, just that if it were a plus-sized woman then I might _open_ some of my FA-preference to her when the time is right to do so.

So, I guess I'll have to wait and see what comes in the future of the dating scene :happy:


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## sierrak (Jul 9, 2010)

CPProp said:


> Been out of the closet for more years than 40 years, perhaps longer than a lot of you have been alive. Ive never really been into what friends or family people think, they can take me as I am, preference as well  or not at all, if not its their loss, not mine.



That is longer than I've been alive, but I've been out at least 20 years. My roommates back in college knew about it and my friends now know about it. Most everyone I've ever talked to about my preference for larger lovely ladies has been totally cool with it. 

It was so funny when my parents found out about it by accident. After I'd moved out of my parents long ago, they were cleaning out the room to change it and found old issues of Dimensions magazine. :doh: I didn't care.


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## CPProp (Jul 9, 2010)

sierrak said:


> That is longer than I've been alive, but I've been out at least 20 years. My roommates back in college knew about it and my friends now know about it. Most everyone I've ever talked to about my preference for larger lovely ladies has been totally cool with it.
> 
> It was so funny when my parents found out about it by accident. After I'd moved out of my parents long ago, they were cleaning out the room to change it and found old issues of Dimensions magazine. :doh: I didn't care.



I knew there were persons here older than me lol. Like your story. I have to admit that my drinking/disco buddies were the last to know  it was to my advantage not to let them know. Being the quieter shyer one they would get in first chatting up all the thin girls, leaving me unopposed and with out any competition to chat up the bigger girls  which for me was just brilliant and I was not going to spoil this set up by letting them know that the bigger girls were better to talk to and with much better personalities, etc etc as I thought they might start chatting up the bigger girls, leaving me with the thin ones .


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## Jay West Coast (Jul 11, 2010)

UnknownSpirit01 said:


> Exactly, it'll happen when it actually happens. It's all the case of who catches my eye first and fall in love with, not with just her body but with the kind of person she is. If I find happen to find a girl who is plus-sized and fell in love with the kind of girl she truly is, then yes I would date her. And the same would go with any kind of woman, just that if it were a plus-sized woman then I might _open_ some of my FA-preference to her when the time is right to do so.
> 
> So, I guess I'll have to wait and see what comes in the future of the dating scene :happy:



If you fall in love with a fat woman are you going to keep it a secret from her too? I'd be curious what the value of staying 'in' really is. 

You sure necroed this thread for someone who doesn't see being 'out' as "a big deal really."


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