# Food travesties. . .



## smithnwesson (Aug 28, 2009)

What do you really hate to see people do to their food?

Mayonnaise on French fries?
Well-done steaks?
Scrambled eggs with ketchup?

My main one is chili with beans added to it. Serve the fucken beans on the side, fer Christ's sake: Don't put them into the chili. 

But that's just me. What are yours?

- Jim


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## TallFatSue (Aug 28, 2009)

Mayonnaise on French fries? I never thought of that! Putting it on my list of things to do...

Well-done steaks? Hmm, I prefer medium but sometimes well-done when the mood strikes me.

Scrambled eggs with ketchup? Icky! But them I'm an omelette kinda gal anyway. 

A. This might not be what you had in mind, and I'm showing my age, but I remember when smoking was commonplace in restaurants, especially when I was a girl in the 1960s and my parents took my little brother and me out to dinner -- provided we were on our best behavior. After meals, it was not uncommon to see other people light up cigarettes and cigars. I cannot erase the indelible horror from my mind, watching some of those same people extinguish their cigarettes and cigars *in their food!* Yes, I know they were finished, and what remained on their plates was only scraps, but in my mind they desecrated their entire meals. I can't think of a more hideous food travesty than that! (shudder) 

B. I just thought of another food travesty. If a group of us are sharing appetizers with dip, the proper protocol is to scoop a spoonful of that dip onto your plate and use that. I go ballistic when I see someone take a bite of an appetizer and then re-dunk that very same piece into the communal pot of dip. I immediately call a halt and ask our server for fresh dip. 

C. Gee I could go on and on. I find it puzzling that some people salt and pepper their food, or cover it with ketchup or other condiments, before they even taste it. Maybe they go out to dinner only for the ketchup and simply use the food as a foundation? Quoth Hank Hill: "This is a great restaurant. It has 6 kinds of ketchup and 3 kinds of catsup!"


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## smithnwesson (Aug 28, 2009)

Sue -

Obviously, we're all gonna have very different things that piss us off.

I just thought it might be fun to compare them.

Oh yeah, one more: People that put A1 and other shit like that on their steaks. Just salt, pepper, and butter -- and truffle butter doesn't suck, either.

When I was in the Army, non-southerners would use their grits as ashtrays, after breakfast. I found that to be *VERY* culturally offensive.

You ain't as old as I am, sweetie. :wubu:

- Jim


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## KatrinaBombshell (Aug 28, 2009)

yeah well done steaks tend to piss me off. im a rare girl all the way. but then again i like raw meat anyway. BIG CARNIVORE HERE. 

and im right there with you about people seasoning food before theyve even tasted it. but i must admit i am guilty of the double dipping. but i do dip the side i havent bitten yet. 

Grits as ash trays? thats TREASON! 

but something else that annoys me is when a piece of meat comes out and yes it does have some fat on it. not a huge amount but just enough that when eaten with the meat its a heavenly experience. and then to see people cut it off the meat! if its a well done steak that fat is the only juice you are gonna get from that piece of card board you are eating!!!


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## MissToodles (Aug 28, 2009)

you need ketchup on scrambled eggs! There is no better combination of scrambled eggs, processed American "cheeze" and bacon all on a kaiser roll. The ketchup brings everything together as chomp down into goopy bite after goopy bite. 

I find this offensive though- mayo used on good pastrami. It may be slightly more acceptable on a sandwich from Subway (questionable taste perhaps) but if it's a good quality sandwich, shame on you, shame on you indeed.


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## smithnwesson (Aug 28, 2009)

KatrinaBombshell said:


> yeah well done steaks tend to piss me off. im a rare girl all the way. but then again i like raw meat anyway. BIG CARNIVORE HERE.
> 
> and im right there with you about people seasoning food before theyve even tasted it. but i must admit i am guilty of the double dipping. but i do dip the side i havent bitten yet.
> 
> ...



Hey! Katrina. Will you marry me? I'm a good cook and a very low maintence kinda guy. Ya want bacon? You'll get bacon!

I'm kinda old and fuguly, though (see profile). 

 -Jim


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## tonynyc (Aug 28, 2009)

Most Fast Food - I admit that I will get some stuff on a rare basis...

Hate Papa Johns Pizza- that is an insult to the tastebuds


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## lypeaches (Aug 28, 2009)

I don't think that ketchup on the scrambled thing is a uniquely Canadian thing, but I've noticed that it's extremely common in Canada. It's ok, but I'd rather hollandaise sauce, myself. 

OK, I'll probably get lots of protests on this one, but I really, really don't care for East Coast seafood (or at least what is commonly found in the Northeast). It seems that everything that comes from the sea, from New York to Maine, MUST be over breaded and deepfried. Cape Cod is especially guilty of this. It's a travesty. All that luscious seafood and its flavor gets completely lost in the bread and oil. I really miss So. California seafood prep...were seafood is generally either raw (when appropriate), broiled, grilled, or steamed...it's like they honor the actual flavor of the creature at hand. My first trip to a New York seafood house, I think ordered fillet of sole with crab stuffing....and was completely offended by the roulade of over seasoned, over - breaded sole stuffed with a goupy bread filling which had apparently been passed over a crab...because there was not an actual piece of crab to be found in the stuffing. And this was a nice restaurant. Fried seafood does have its place and its charms, but it is not the be all - end all of seafood preparation. 

OK, rant over!!


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## katorade (Aug 28, 2009)

smithnwesson said:


> What do you really hate to see people do to their food?
> 
> Mayonnaise on French fries?
> Well-done steaks?
> ...



I like the cut of your gib, sir! Except mayo on fries. I grew up in Europe, we're a whacky sort of people. I especially like mayo-based dips rather than just mayo. In Holland there's a sauce for the fries called American sauce that is similar to tartar sauce. I find the name ironic.

Steak should not be cooked over a very light medium, but preferably medium-rare. The only thing besides a little salt and pepper I like on my steak is maybe an herbed butter as it rests, and I usually reserve that for the cuts that could use a little flavor boost. I think anyone that sauces a porterhouse needs to put the port in deported.

Beans were only added to chili as a way to make it stretch when meat was scarce or expensive, it ain't a damn improvement. God damn I hate kidney beans.

------

Provolone cheese on pizza. What the hell is wrong with you, Midwestern America? Seriously? Come on.

"Extreme" flavored anything. Can we please go back to when Doritos were flavored to actually taste like corn with a bit of flavoring, at least a little bit? Why did you have to do that to Goldfish crackers, one of the most perfect snacks ever? Really, I don't need a centimeter of fluorescent radioactive cheese powder on every single chip, or my entire day's ration of salt in one serving.

Hershey's chocolate. You are an insult. Why do people like you? You taste like you were made of sour milk and plastic, and even your dark chocolate has enough sugar in it to make my throat burn and yearn for water. Also, your parent company sucks and thinks people don't actually want real chocolate any more, and that they'd rather pay less for tropical oils.

Margarine/buttery "spread". Two words: trans fats. You're a molecule away from being plastic. Also, you gave everyone an excuse to not use butter any more. Asshole.

Processed cheese. You're not cheese. You are curds and lies. I don't care how nicely you melt, that's why God made double cremes and semi-softs.


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## HottiMegan (Aug 28, 2009)

lol katorade curds and lies 

I don't have a lot of food pet peeves being that i'm limited in culinary experimentation being a lacto vegetarian. 

I cannot stand the smell of a hotdog being consumed in the movie theater. It permeates everything and just sticks!

It also bothers me when someone pours salt on food before even checking the taste.


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## Chef (Aug 28, 2009)

tonynyc said:


> Most Fast Food - I admit that I will get some stuff on a rare basis...
> 
> Hate Papa Johns Pizza- that is an insult to the tastebuds



Papa Johns Pizza is a whole world of difference better than Pizza Slut... that said, It gripes me that they waste a whole hot pepper placed into every pizza box that leaves the store.. knowing that most people throw it away.. (I raid the boxes when I can, and put those future-less peppers into a pickle jar for future enjoyment)


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## ThatFatGirl (Aug 28, 2009)

It bothers me when I see my mom mix various things from her plate into one bite on a fork.. like mixing the rice or potato with the veggies or the main course, that's all OK. The herbs and textures compliment eachother. However when she also scoops up some of the Jello/cream cheese salad with it, or pierces her dinner salad to add a taste of that onto the fork with the rest of her food... yuck. I don't get it. It's OK they all mix together in your tummy, but they aren't meant to all go down at once.

Ketchup with eggs I never got, nor do I understand how kids can eat chicken with ketchup. I love A1 sauce and the two or three times a year I have steak, that baby is swimming in it.


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## Tooz (Aug 28, 2009)

lypeaches said:


> It seems that everything that comes from the sea, from New York to Maine, MUST be over breaded and deepfried. Cape Cod is especially guilty of this. It's a travesty. All that luscious seafood and its flavor gets completely lost in the bread and oil.



Man, you must really hate New England.  I love fried fish-- and I can still pick up the subtleties of it prepared this way.

Dipping toast in runny egg yolk is one of the most disgusting things to me. Ughhhh.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Aug 28, 2009)

TallFatSue said:


> C. Gee I could go on and on. I find it puzzling that some people salt and pepper their food, or cover it with ketchup or other condiments, before they even taste it. Maybe they go out to dinner only for the ketchup and simply use the food as a foundation? Quoth Hank Hill: "This is a great restaurant. It has 6 kinds of ketchup and 3 kinds of catsup!"



There is a word for people like this: autocondimentor.



katorade said:


> The 'process' in processed cheese is boiling it to kill the molds that age the cheese and give it its flavor, so there is a word for processed cheese, too: frankencheese.


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## katorade (Aug 28, 2009)

Tooz said:


> Man, you must really hate New England.  I love fried fish-- and I can still pick up the subtleties of it prepared this way.
> 
> Dipping toast in runny egg yolk is one of the most disgusting things to me. Ughhhh.



Agreed, bad fried fish is going to be bad regardless of where you get it, and the East Coast knows how to make some gooooood fried fish. Being a Virginia girl, I'm partial to the mid-atlantic style myself. Usually a little spicy somethin-somethin in the mix.

I gotta disagree on the egg yolk and toast, though. That's one of the finer joys in life! I especially love just slightly overcooking soft-boiled eggs so the yolk has a less runny consistency and spreading that all over buttered toast. :eat2:


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## Ernest Nagel (Aug 28, 2009)

Ketchup on cottage cheese. :shocked: My little brother used to do this and I threw up in my nose a little bit remembering it just now.


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## Chef (Aug 28, 2009)

I'm the reason Heinz Ketchup is No. 1 in sales in this country. As a child, the phrase, "Having some fries with your ketchup?" was usually directed at me. I'm also guilty of using pure unadulterated Heinz Ketchup, from a squeeze bottle no less, as an ingredient in recipes ranging from jambalaya and red beans & rice, to meatloaf and BBQ. (in that regard I'm also guilty of using Tabasco, but nobody sees any travesty in that)

I know that Chicago'ns have a particular distaste for anyone that wants to put ketchup on their hot dog, let alone within the limits of the Windy City.

While I see nothing wrong with ketchup-laced scrambled eggs, I have never, ever tried ketchup on my ice cream. At least, not yet.

One exception would be a burger, which has pickles, cheese, onions and mustard ONLY.

-------------------------

A. Mayo on fries doesn't bother me.. as long as I'm allowed to mix a little hickory bbq sauce into it. I've yet to try the Canadian version using beef gravy and cheese curds.. as long as I'm allowed to add some Ketchup!

B. People who cover their food with black pepper, regardless if they've tasted it or not. I always thought this was what friends dared each other to do during school lunch... 

C. I'll admit that I use processed cheese (cheez wiz, velveeta) only for its smooth melting factor.. And in nachos and cheese enchiladas.. Okay.. and in broccoli-cheese soup. And maybe over baked cauliflower.. Possibly on a cheesesteak sammich.. Kinda sorta with chorizo queso too.. Maybe on a slice of french bread under the broiler.. and in monte christo.. and to dip my fried catfish in..

D. While I agree that traditional chili has no beans, and no gound beef; when making chili for youngsters the following beans have no place in chili: Red Kidney, Northern, Lima, Butter, Green, Black-eyed peas, mung, garbanzo, and no lentils. Travesties!

Reds, Pintos, Azukis, Anasazis, Black and even Navy is fine.


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## smithnwesson (Aug 28, 2009)

Tooz - 

We were in Maine on vacation a couple of years ago and had a hotdog - except it had *LOBSTER* in it instead of a friggin' weenie. 

O. M. F. G.

 !!!!!! - Jim


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## MissToodles (Aug 28, 2009)

Ernest Nagel said:


> Ketchup on cottage cheese. :shocked: My little brother used to do this and I threw up in my nose a little bit remembering it just now.



I grew up eating egg noodles mixed with ketchup and cottage cheese, it was called luction. Are you retching reading this?


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## katorade (Aug 28, 2009)

My boyfriend likes his scrambled eggs with mustard and lots and lots of pepper. I love him, but BLARRRRRRRRRRGHHHHH!!!


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## Ernest Nagel (Aug 28, 2009)

MissToodles said:


> I grew up eating egg noodles mixed with ketchup and cottage cheese, it was called luction. Are you retching reading this?



Mainly curious if _luction_ is short for something? Out-of-luction? Ejacu-luction? The mind boggles as the throat gags. I'm goggling. :doh:


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## Chef (Aug 28, 2009)

MissToodles said:


> I grew up eating egg noodles mixed with ketchup and cottage cheese, it was called luction. Are you retching reading this?



Yes! Luction Kugel! Typically with eggs and sugar too.


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## katorade (Aug 28, 2009)

Chef said:


> Yes! Luction Kugel! Typically with eggs and sugar too.



A Hungarian family once invited me over and they had egg noodles mixed with sugar, ground walnuts, and sour cream. It was oddly tasty.


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## TallFatSue (Aug 28, 2009)

Ernest Nagel said:


> Ketchup on cottage cheese. :shocked: My little brother used to do this and I threw up in my nose a little bit remembering it just now.


My little brother used to make a big production out of mixing Tang (a powdered pseudo-orange-flavored drink mix) and Alka-Seltzer in a big glass of water in front of me, watching it foam up, and then drinking it as if it was the most delicious nectar of the gods, making loud yum-yum sounds with every gulp. :eat2: Yeccch! 

Now it's 40 years later, and my brother realllly doesn't like me to remind him about that, especially in front of his wife.


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## Chef (Aug 28, 2009)

TallFatSue said:


> My little brother used to make a big production out of mixing Tang (a powdered pseudo-orange-flavored drink mix) and Alka-Seltzer in a big glass of water in front of me, watching it foam up, and then drinking it as if it was the most delicious nectar of the gods, making loud yum-yum sounds with every gulp. :eat2: Yeccch!
> 
> Now it's 40 years later, and my brother realllly doesn't like me to remind him about that, especially in front of his wife.



Having grown up in a family of non-coffee drinkers, hot cocoa and hot tang were the choices on family camping trips.


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## mossystate (Aug 28, 2009)

I don't eat many fried eggs, but, I loooooove a bit of runnyish yolk on buttered wheat toast.

Also, I like Hershey's chocolate bars. It is a unique flavor, and I don't care what's in it. I also like some of the pricey stuff, but, when I want Hershey, I want Hershey. Now, Palmer brand. Holy fucking hell! :doh:

Steak sauce on a steak. There is no reason to cover up a nice piece ( medium rare ) of beef. I am not the best at cooking steaks, but I like kosher salt...cracked black pepper...little garlic powder...butter, while I cook the meat. Now, some creamy horseradish, and some regular horseradish on the side...that gets a green light.

Cheese sauce on broccoli. I love a good ( as opposed to rotting I guess ) cheese/broccoli soup, but perfectly steamed broccoli I like with a touch of butter and salt.

Oversteamed any veggie. 

My roomie, when he shovels in the food I have prepared, and doesn't even taste it. I should poison him....but....I won't.

Apple pie that is too sweet.


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## Chef (Aug 28, 2009)

Okay.. I don't do ketchup on steak. I prefer rare (pittsburg rare if they know what that is) with a puddle of tabasco on the side. And/or Heinz 57.


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## Tooz (Aug 28, 2009)

mossystate said:


> INow, Palmer brand. Holy fucking hell! :doh:



THE GROSSNESS.


Re: fish: I love rubbing fish with mustard before battering and frying


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## Chef (Aug 28, 2009)

Tooz said:


> THE GROSSNESS.
> 
> 
> Re: fish: I love rubbing fish with mustard before battering and frying



Woah.. woah.. dry mustard powder? like catfish? :eat2:


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## cinnamitch (Aug 28, 2009)

smithnwesson said:


> What do you really hate to see people do to their food?
> 
> Mayonnaise on French fries?
> Well-done steaks?
> ...



AMEN ! You do NOT put beans in chili. It is just wrong wrong wrong.


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## PamelaLois (Aug 28, 2009)

MissToodles said:


> I grew up eating egg noodles mixed with ketchup and cottage cheese, it was called luction. Are you retching reading this?


 
OMG, that is so disgusting! I hate cottage cheese in any form. Probably because I used to be forced to eat it as a kid when my mom put me on a "diet".

The worst travesties I can imagine:

Fat-free cheese, pretty much just shredded plastic, it won't even melt.

My secretary's son used to eat green grapes dipped in yellow mustard. I sent him out of the room when he did this.

Putting cigarettes out in the food, ew ew ew ew, my parents did this and I used to refuse to do the dishes if I found it.

Any smoking during the meal, ruins the whole experience for me. I am so glad restaurants are smoke-free now. 

Mayo on fries, wrong wrong.

Dipping fries in your Wendy's Frosty. Also wrong

Pretty much any "fake" food masquerading as real food, like fake crab, fake pasta, fake sugar in chocolate, etc. I dislike frankenfoods


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## tonynyc (Aug 28, 2009)

katorade said:


> A Hungarian family once invited me over and they had egg noodles mixed with sugar, ground walnuts, and sour cream. It was oddly tasty.










*Reminds me of Noodles Kugel [except you would have (egg noodles mixed with sugar,butter, cottage cheese,(raisins optional) ]- now with the summer coming to an end and Fall/Winter Approaching this is one of those wonderful comfort foods to enjoy- Good Stuff *


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## Tooz (Aug 28, 2009)

Chef said:


> Woah.. woah.. dry mustard powder? like catfish? :eat2:



It's good on any white fish


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## thatgirl08 (Aug 28, 2009)

I have never heard of chili WITHOUT beans or putting butter on steak


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## tonynyc (Aug 28, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> I have never heard of chili WITHOUT beans or putting butter on steak




*YES... *

*Chili*: for me Meat only - I have to be in the mood for Bean Chili. I guess depending where you are in the US folks would feel very passionate about this.... 


Many of the Steakhouses would put a pat of butter on the steak - then place it in the broiler for 30 seconds or so... The Steak gets this wonderful glaze... 

*Buttering:* Traditionally steaks have been served up with toppings to add flavor and make it a fancier meal. Mushrooms and onions sautéed in butter and garlic is a great topping, but there are so many options out there its impossible to name them all. One of the basic ingredients that works surprisingly well on a steak is butter. Butter adds a moist, creamy glaze to steaks without overpowering the flavor of the meat. By adding seasonings to the butter you extend the flavor. The key is to use your topping sparingly and to add flavors that make the steak better without hiding the its original flavor. 

For instance, a basic steak topper could be softened butter mixed with green onions and crushed garlic. You want to use softened butter and not melted, since you want the topper to have a form so it can be easily spooned over top. After all, the steak will be hot when the butter hits it, so the butter will melt anyway. As that butter melts it will sink into the meat and spread over the surface creating even flavoring all over the steak. 

*Steak Toppers*


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## toni (Aug 28, 2009)

Stuffing with fruit. YUCK.

I agree with everyone about well done steak. Over cooking the meat kills the flavor. A total disrespect to the cow. It pains me when I am out and I hear someone place an order like that.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Aug 28, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> I have never heard of chili WITHOUT beans or putting butter on steak



We clearly have two schools of chili thought here. I know that Texas-style chili is meat only, but I think Cincinnati-style chili is _supposed _to have beans. Is there anyone from Cincy who can clear this up?


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## tonynyc (Aug 28, 2009)

toni said:


> Stuffing with fruit. YUCK.
> 
> I agree with everyone about well done steak. Over cooking the meat kills the flavor. A total disrespect to the cow. It pains me when I am out and I hear someone place an order like that.



*I don't know if this is true or not ;but, I've heard that when you order a steak well done (you are not given the best cut of meat). For me it's "rare" to "medium-rare"....
*


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## SuperMishe (Aug 28, 2009)

smithnwesson said:


> Tooz -
> 
> We were in Maine on vacation a couple of years ago and had a hotdog - except it had *LOBSTER* in it instead of a friggin' weenie.
> 
> ...





That's called a Lobster Roll...


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## smithnwesson (Aug 28, 2009)

SuperMishe said:


> That's called a Lobster Roll...


Well, whatever the hell you call it, it was good. . . very fucking good.:eat2:


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## katorade (Aug 29, 2009)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> We clearly have two schools of chili thought here. I know that Texas-style chili is meat only, but I think Cincinnati-style chili is _supposed _to have beans. Is there anyone from Cincy who can clear this up?



Beans are entirely optional in Cincinnati-style chili. At the two most famous chili joints, Skyline and Gold Star, you order it one of several ways (it's always funny to say 3-way, and yes, that's how you order it). What makes Cincy chili unique is the spice blend that goes in it, which are an homage to its Greek history. Cinnamon and allspice are the most typical. Some contain cocoa or clove or various other spices.

The way it's eaten is also a tad peculiar. The most popular order is on top of spaghetti noodles, then topped with mounds of shredded cheddar cheese. That's a 3-way. 4-way is adding beans OR raw diced onions. 5-way is adding both. "Coneys", basically a chili cheese dog, is also popular.

I actually prefer getting chili fries, because the spaghetti is never salted or seasoned in any way, and the fries tend to soak up some of the very liquidy sauce. I get mine with no beans, onions, and a double order of diced tomatoes.


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## pdgujer148 (Aug 29, 2009)

Ketchup on spaghetti. 

Nobody would do that, right? 

Except my family.

My mother served buttered spaghetti and my family would dump cold ketchup on top of it and then covered it with grated processed cheese. My mother poured Campbell's tomato soup over hers because ketchup was "too spicy".

I didn't learn how bizarre our Eye-talian cuisine was until I had a girlfriend over to the house. She was polite and ate the noodles plain.

One of my brothers still eats noodles this way. His children eat noodles this way. The sins of the fathers...


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## pdgujer148 (Aug 29, 2009)

Oh, and chili should be served bean optional. Special credit if you serve it with rice.


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## TallFatSue (Aug 29, 2009)

katorade said:


> Beans are entirely optional in Cincinnati-style chili. At the two most famous chili joints, Skyline and Gold Star, you order it one of several ways (it's always funny to say 3-way, and yes, that's how you order it). What makes Cincy chili unique is the spice blend that goes in it, which are an homage to its Greek history. Cinnamon and allspice are the most typical. Some contain cocoa or clove or various other spices.
> 
> The way it's eaten is also a tad peculiar. The most popular order is on top of spaghetti noodles, then topped with mounds of shredded cheddar cheese. That's a 3-way. 4-way is adding beans OR raw diced onions. 5-way is adding both. "Coneys", basically a chili cheese dog, is also popular.
> 
> I actually prefer getting chili fries, because the spaghetti is never salted or seasoned in any way, and the fries tend to soak up some of the very liquidy sauce. I get mine with no beans, onions, and a double order of diced tomatoes.


Every so often I get down to Cincinnati and I like Skyline chili. The first time someone explained it to me, it sounded soooo unappetizing. But the more I thought about it the more I had to try it for myself. Cinnamon, allspice and cocoa powder in chili? On top of spaghetti?? Yum. :eat2:

Whether it's chili, barbecue etc., I love to listen to people argue about what is and is not appropriate. I've found various regional twists on food to be quite good in many cases. Sometimes it's downright yummy to have an open palate. And sometimes I can't decide which is best, so I need to keep eating all the top contenders until I make up my mind. :eat2:


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## MissToodles (Aug 29, 2009)

PamelaLois said:


> OMG, that is so disgusting! I hate cottage cheese in any form. Probably because I used to be forced to eat it as a kid when my mom put me on a "diet".
> 
> The worst travesties I can imagine:
> 
> ...



sorry about the cottage cheese thing. I never was forced to eat it during my childhood, so I can eat it without baggage. Have to agree about fat free dairy products. It's not a travesty but a tragedy inflicted upon mankind. I rather not eat anything dairy at all then be forced to eat fat free stuff. *shudder*


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## lypeaches (Aug 29, 2009)

Tooz said:


> Man, you must really hate New England.  I love fried fish-- and I can still pick up the subtleties of it prepared this way.
> 
> Dipping toast in runny egg yolk is one of the most disgusting things to me. Ughhhh.



Sorry Tooz...actually I'm not opposed to an occasional fish and chips meal, lord knows, it can be tasty. It just disturbs me that everything from clams and mussels to lobster, scallops and shrimp gets the same, deep fried treatment. To me, deep frying a scallop is the equivalent of a well-done porterhouse steak.


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## Frankie (Aug 29, 2009)

I am here you so y'all can rip me apart. I like:

- A well done steak. I won't complain if it's a little chewy, thought I hope it will have some crispy fat bits attached to it. I'll be smothering it in ketchup anyway. Which leads me to . . .

- When I used to eat lamb chops, I put ketchup all over them, too. I guess when I was little, they looked like beef to me, and the ketchup became a habit. Don't worry, I don't eat lamb any more.

- I will cook just about anything in the microwave. Usually, I blast chicken breasts in there and dinner is served in about four minutes. 

- I eat fat-free cheese. It's not that bad. It's usually higher in protein, if lower in taste.

- Sometimes, I might talk to my food, either out loud or in my head. When I do, I'm most likely giving a sad thanks to the animal that lost its life so I could dine on it. I gotta get off the meat . . . as soon as it stops being so tasty.

On the bright side, I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, and I'm pretty fussy about them whether raw or cooked.


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## Rowan (Aug 29, 2009)

I am definitely an odd eater...Id say blame my parents, but i eat things that are much stranger than they'd touch sometimes.

- I eat miracle whip on my corn on the cob.
- I put sugar on top of my spaghetti (with the sauce and noodles mixed of course)
- My family eats salt on watermelon
- I make sauces to dip my meats in which many times will consist of miracle whip, sweet soy sauce, honey mustard, ketchup, bbq sauce, or any other mix of various condiments which i will sometime also mix a bit of garam marsala or curry into. 

commence the grossouttage lol


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## Suze (Aug 29, 2009)

ahahahahah


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## Sugar (Aug 29, 2009)

I won't eat a steak if it's anything less than medium well and forget it if there isn't ketchup or blue cheese dressing around. 

Ham must have ketchup as well as eggs and hashbrowns. 

As for what I consider off limits...

Fried fish...don't you want to eat fish and not breading?

Mayo and jello...my Gramma found this recipe out of Country Music magazine once that was called Alan Jackson salad. 

Bottom Layer: Lime jello, melted sherbert, crushed pineapple

Middle Layer: walnuts and mayo

Top layer: Red jello of your choice and orange or strawberries floated

BARF

Cottage cheese and salsa

Cream cheese and salsa

Chocolate and peanut butter...what the hell did that chocolate do to you!? :happy:


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## Rowan (Aug 29, 2009)

Lucky said:


> I won't eat a steak if it's anything less than medium well and forget it if there isn't ketchup or blue cheese dressing around.
> 
> Ham must have ketchup as well as eggs and hashbrowns.
> 
> ...


now i found that if you soften the cream cheese and mix it with like a peach salsa, it is ab fab...love it


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## mossystate (Aug 29, 2009)

Lucky said:


> I won't eat a steak if it's anything less than medium well and forget it if there isn't ketchup.
> Ham must have ketchup.
> Chocolate and peanut butter...what the hell did that chocolate do to you!? :happy:





I don't even know who you are.


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## katorade (Aug 29, 2009)

Alan Jackson salad! HAHA! We had something similar growing up, but sweetened cream cheese was used rather than mayo. You could actually buy it in the deli section.

How can you not like chocolate and peanut butter?


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## Sugar (Aug 29, 2009)

Plumpy...just because we have different tastes does not mean you stopped loving me today! *hands you a bunch of peanutbutter cups*

Kato...I have no idea why anyone likes it. I mean I won't spit it out in a fit of rage and horror but in general I'm not a big peanut fan. Now slap some almonds on just about anything and I'm overly happy. :wubu:


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## katorade (Aug 29, 2009)

Lucky said:


> Plumpy...just because we have different tastes does not mean you stopped loving me today! *hands you a bunch of peanutbutter cups*
> 
> Kato...I have no idea why anyone likes it. I mean I won't spit it out in a fit of rage and horror but in general I'm not a big peanut fan. Now slap some almonds on just about anything and I'm overly happy. :wubu:




As long as you're not deathly allergic to them, otherwise I'd have to keep on drivin'. Reese's cups are definitely an accompaniment on road trips! Oddly enough, I love peanut butter in candy, but not peanuts. Long live the Mars bars of yesteryear!


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## Sugar (Aug 29, 2009)

katorade said:


> As long as you're not deathly allergic to them, otherwise I'd have to keep on drivin'. Reese's cups are definitely an accompaniment on road trips! Oddly enough, I love peanut butter in candy, but not peanuts. Long live the Mars bars of yesteryear!



Nah I'm not allergic to anything but maybe Plumpy's bad attitude and overly sweaty people


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## Chef (Aug 29, 2009)

katorade said:


> Beans are entirely optional in Cincinnati-style chili. At the two most famous chili joints, Skyline and Gold Star, you order it one of several ways (it's always funny to say 3-way, and yes, that's how you order it). What makes Cincy chili unique is the spice blend that goes in it, which are an homage to its Greek history. Cinnamon and allspice are the most typical. Some contain cocoa or clove or various other spices.
> 
> The way it's eaten is also a tad peculiar. The most popular order is on top of spaghetti noodles, then topped with mounds of shredded cheddar cheese. That's a 3-way. 4-way is adding beans OR raw diced onions. 5-way is adding both. "Coneys", basically a chili cheese dog, is also popular.
> 
> I actually prefer getting chili fries, because the spaghetti is never salted or seasoned in any way, and the fries tend to soak up some of the very liquidy sauce. I get mine with no beans, onions, and a double order of diced tomatoes.



I've had chili over spaghetti before with pinto beans, chopped onions, shredded cheddar, sour cream, sliced black olives, sliced jalopenos, and oyster crackers.. um.. seven way? But I've never had REAL cincinnati-style seasonings.. the cinnamon, clove, allspice, cocoa.. almost makes it seem like french toast.. is it overly spiced.. or just right?


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## katorade (Aug 29, 2009)

Chef said:


> I've had chili over spaghetti before with pinto beans, chopped onions, shredded cheddar, sour cream, sliced black olives, sliced jalopenos, and oyster crackers.. um.. seven way? But I've never had REAL cincinnati-style seasonings.. the cinnamon, clove, allspice, cocoa.. almost makes it seem like french toast.. is it overly spiced.. or just right?



I'm actually not that big a fan. I've had it 3, maybe 4 times since I moved here a year and a half ago. I prefer Gold Star's vegetarian chili, but their fries suck. The consistency of Skyline is akin to a soupy sloppy joe with very finely ground meat. I prefer actual stew chunks in my chili. Homemade Cincy chili tastes much better.

The spice is very subtle, and it's not hot-spicy, more savory spicy. I gotta say, pretty much every Midwestern take on non-regional food is bland as hell. I haven't had good Mexican food since I moved here. The pizza is just god awful. The chili is about as exciting as the color brown.

If you have had Greek meat dishes before, you might be able to get an idea of the flavor. The meat in pastitsio is seasoned very similarly, and is served over macaroni or penne rather than spaghetti, and topped with bechamel sauce then baked rather than cold shredded cheddar. It's actually one of my favorite foods, period. 
Chili, to me, is usually made with venison stew meat, spicy enough to make your eyelids sweat, full of big chunks of tomatoes, onions, and peppers, and served over a piece of cornbread with sour cream and cheddar. It's what I grew up with.


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## Chef (Aug 29, 2009)

- grilled corn on the cob, doused in butter, schmeared with mayo, dusted with new mexico chili powder, with a wedge of lime. :bow:
- smoked herring with lots of plain French's yellow mustard, right out of the can with a fork.
- white chunk tuna mixed with miracle whip, chopped dill pickles, white onion, celery, on pumpernickel bread.
- leftover spaghetti with meat sauce, with extra ketchup and tabasco.

When i was a kid:
- wonder white bread with butter and honey
- open face wonder white bread and leftover turkey/beef/chicken gravy (til I either ran out of bread or gravy)
- peanut butter and grape jelly sammiches using peanut butter cookies


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## katorade (Aug 29, 2009)

This thread is about foods you detest or just don't get, not foods you love!

Unless you're saying you hate chili-lime corn, then you should be burned at the stake like a witch.


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## Chef (Aug 29, 2009)

katorade said:


> I'm actually not that big a fan. I've had it 3, maybe 4 times since I moved here a year and a half ago. I prefer Gold Star's vegetarian chili, but their fries suck. The consistency of Skyline is akin to a soupy sloppy joe with very finely ground meat. I prefer actual stew chunks in my chili. Homemade Cincy chili tastes much better.
> 
> The spice is very subtle, and it's not hot-spicy, more savory spicy. I gotta say, pretty much every Midwestern take on non-regional food is bland as hell. I haven't had good Mexican food since I moved here. The pizza is just god awful. The chili is about as exciting as the color brown.
> 
> ...



Change that to Fritos instead of cornbread, and thats my mother's frito pie.

I never could get the hang of venison. Elk or Bison please.


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## Chef (Aug 29, 2009)

Oops.. I forgot it was food I hate... i love so much... :bow::doh:


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## katorade (Aug 29, 2009)

I have another. Potted meat product. WHY can you find this on shelves in every grocery store and WHO keeps eating it?!?


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## Chef (Aug 29, 2009)

katorade said:


> I have another. Potted meat product. WHY can you find this on shelves in every grocery store and WHO keeps eating it?!?



LOL! like adding smoke flavor is going to help Hormel sell more Spam..


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## Sugar (Aug 29, 2009)

katorade said:


> I have another. Potted meat product. WHY can you find this on shelves in every grocery store and WHO keeps eating it?!?



My Dad used to eat it all the time and one time he and my Mom were fighting because she put it in the fridge and it's not smear-able when cold. 

If I could go back in time with a tape recorder...that argument would be recorded for the masses to enjoy. To this day I can't help but laugh loudly at what I recall.


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## Chef (Aug 29, 2009)

My father used to buy vienna sausages all the time. Sometimes, I get the urge to put in it my shopping cart.. just to try them again.. just to see if they're just as awful as I remember, and the devil on my shoulder screams "You Fool! Put that back!"

Everytime I would visit my grandparents during the summer in the 70s.. my grandmother was trying, once again, to give up coffee, and would make Postum instead. *shudder*


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## shinyapple (Aug 29, 2009)

katorade said:


> I have another. Potted meat product. WHY can you find this on shelves in every grocery store and WHO keeps eating it?!?



Ugh...my mother's ex-husband ate this stuff. It used to piss me off to no end when I would walk in the door and he would be eating it after heating it up in the microwave. It made their entire house smell like canned dog food. *gags*


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## TallFatSue (Aug 29, 2009)

smithnwesson said:


> Sorry, Sue. I've been working in hospitals for a long time -- we get kind of immune to this kind of shit after a while.
> 
> I didn't intend to offend you.


Oh if you think you can kiss up to me with a photo of a cute little puppy, you've got another thing coming. I need to see some truly impressive groveling! (I'd tell you to kiss my ass, but that only rewards FAs for bad behavior.) 

However to spare everyone from your maudlin display of contrition, I accept your apology. Just be more careful in the future about something that is no laughing matter to us women, okay? (cringe)


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## TallFatSue (Aug 29, 2009)

Chef said:


> LOL! like adding smoke flavor is going to help Hormel sell more Spam..


The last few times we were in Hawaii, we were amazed at how popular Spam was there. And like a foodie fool, I finally cracked and tried the Spam stir-fry, Spam sushi, Spam musubi etc. They were surprisingly good because they actually *cook* the Spam like any other Hawaiian/Asian fusian style, rather than use it for cold cuts. Spam is also on the menu at McDonald's in Hawaii. Methinx Spam became so popular in Hawaii because it was the most readily-available meat during the military build-up in World War II. Hawaiians grew up eating Spam, and it's their comfort food.


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## sunnie1653 (Aug 29, 2009)

Well done steak is another one for me.. ugh. You already killed the poor cow, at least give it the dignity of still tasting like meat instead of shoe leather! 

A friend of mine orders pizza with "extra sauce" .. YUCK!

Vienna sausages.. my ex used to buy them, cut them in half, smash them onto a saltine.. and *crunch* ... turns my stomach just thinking about it.

Frosting on brownies. Seriously? Why bother?

I don't get the appeal of ketchup on everything. Ketchup is for fries, and the occasional burger. Not eggs, not spaghetti, not on top of meatloaf while its baking so it gets all nasty and crusted (YUCK!), and CERTAINLY not on a hot dog!! 

Chili without beans? I've never had such a thing. Has to have beans in it- that's what gives it substance! Otherwise you have hot dog chili "sauce."

Fruit "topping" on pancakes. Gross-out-city. Same thing with canned pie filling. Seriously? How hard is it to peel and slice some apples?!?!


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## toni (Aug 29, 2009)

sunnie1653 said:


> A friend of mine orders pizza with "extra sauce" .. YUCK!



You are SO wrong! Extra sauce makes the pizza much more YUMMY. :eat2:


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## Suze (Aug 29, 2009)

toni said:


> Extra cheese makes the pizza much more YUMMY. :eat2:



that's more like it


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## toni (Aug 29, 2009)

Actually, extra cheese and extra sauce is always the best choice. It gets very messy but it is a beautiful mess.


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## HottiMegan (Aug 29, 2009)

I just thought of one more. i made pizza tonight and growing up we used to put canned mushrooms on there.. blech.. yucko.. I hate canned mushrooms. I didn't like mushrooms as a kid until i ate fresh ones!!


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## tonynyc (Aug 29, 2009)

toni said:


> Actually, extra cheese and extra sauce is always the best choice. It gets very messy but it is a beautiful mess.



*Only if it's Pizzeria style Pizza - not that nasty stuff from the Pizza Chains*


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## Friday (Aug 30, 2009)

Meat cooked past medium. Overcooked just about anything really, especially vegetables. No wonder so many kids hate them.

Ketchup on nearly anything and most especially on meatloaf. Any meatloaf that is so bad that ketchup makes it better shouldn't even be inflicted on the dog. My husband occasionally likes macaroni with butter, ketchup and a dash of milk (smells like spaghetti O's but I'm not tasting it because I didn't like those either). I made a snarky remark about it to my future MiL in the car on the way to my bridal shower. She looked at me sideways and said "He learned that from me.". :doh: Oops. She forgave me. LOL

Sweet eggs. Meringue, custard, flans. Ick, ick, ick. And don't get me started on bubble tea or tapioca. I can't even look at them. I've been told it's a textural issue. That may be it. I'm not a gelatin fan either.

Mashed potatoes in a box. Sacrilege.


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## SuperMishe (Aug 30, 2009)

TallFatSue said:


> The last few times we were in Hawaii, we were amazed at how popular Spam was there. And like a foodie fool, I finally cracked and tried the Spam stir-fry, Spam sushi, Spam musubi etc. They were surprisingly good because they actually *cook* the Spam like any other Hawaiian/Asian fusian style, rather than use it for cold cuts. Spam is also on the menu at McDonald's in Hawaii. Methinx Spam became so popular in Hawaii because it was the most readily-available meat during the military build-up in World War II. Hawaiians grew up eating Spam, and it's their comfort food.



Last year we went to the Mall of America and we were so close, we just HAD to visit the SPAM museum! It was a lot of fun and very intersting facts about SPAM! 

View attachment SUC50036.JPG


View attachment SUC50045.JPG


View attachment SUC50040a.JPG


View attachment SUC50046.JPG


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## smithnwesson (Aug 30, 2009)

Chef said:


> My father used to buy vienna sausages all the time. Sometimes, I get the urge to put in it my shopping cart.. just to try them again.. just to see if they're just as awful as I remember, and the devil on my shoulder screams "You Fool! Put that back!"
> 
> Everytime I would visit my grandparents during the summer in the 70s.. my grandmother was trying, once again, to give up coffee, and would make Postum instead. *shudder*



1 can Vienna Sausages + 1 can Sardines = Redneck Surf 'n Turf.

Hey! It works OK when you're out huntin' or fishin'. 

 - Jim


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## Dr. Feelgood (Aug 30, 2009)

I don't think it's the _taste_ of Vienna sausages that turns people off so much as ...well, they just look so _CIRCUMCISED_.


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## smithnwesson (Aug 30, 2009)

DOC - 

YUCK! You just grossed me out. 

Laff about it Sue, just go ahead and laff about.

 -Jim


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## TallFatSue (Aug 30, 2009)

Mishe, there's something strangely alluring about a food that is so awesome, powerful and fun it requires a helmet to eat it. :eat2:


SuperMishe said:


> Last year we went to the Mall of America and we were so close, we just HAD to visit the SPAM museum! It was a lot of fun and very intersting facts about SPAM!


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## bobbleheaddoll (Aug 30, 2009)

i only eat steak well done...with ketchup :eat2: ketchup makes everthing more delicious!

i once knew someone who put italian dressing on EVERYTHING...including mashed potatoes...

when i moved south i found the nastiest thing ever...livermush. don't even want to know what's in it...the name was enough for me to never want to be near it again...


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## Dr. Feelgood (Aug 31, 2009)

bobbleheaddoll said:


> when i moved south i found the nastiest thing ever...livermush. don't even want to know what's in it...the name was enough for me to never want to be near it again...



Sounds awful. Reminds me of scrapple, which IS awful. I think I tasted it once when I was about eight ... but the MEMORY of that (urgh!) taste has remained with me.


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## katorade (Aug 31, 2009)

Cakes frosted in Cool Whip (or generic "whipped topping"). I recently went to a friend's wedding and paid for their birthday cake, only to find out upon biting into it that it had been frosted in cheap deli cool whip. Bleh!

In my defense, I only paid for the cake, the bride ordered it. She waited until 2 days before the wedding to order a cake!:doh:


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## Sugar (Aug 31, 2009)

katorade said:


> Cakes frosted in Cool Whip (or generic "whipped topping"). I recently went to a friend's wedding and paid for their birthday cake, only to find out upon biting into it that it had been frosted in cheap deli cool whip. Bleh!
> 
> In my defense, I only paid for the cake, the bride ordered it. She waited until 2 days before the wedding to order a cake!:doh:



I hate to break this to you but the best cake in the world is a lemon cake that has holes jabbed in it with hot jello poured over it and then frosted with cool whip. :eat2:


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## katorade (Aug 31, 2009)

That's different! Better than sex cake is one of my favorites and it's topped with Cool Whip, but it's also helped along with pineapple, vanilla pudding, and nuts. This was just sad bakery cake with dyed, slightly dried out Cool Whip.


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## Sugar (Sep 1, 2009)

katorade said:


> That's different! Better than sex cake is one of my favorites and it's topped with Cool Whip, but it's also helped along with pineapple, vanilla pudding, and nuts. This was just sad bakery cake with dyed, slightly dried out Cool Whip.



Those MF'ers.


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## thatgirl08 (Sep 1, 2009)

katorade said:


> That's different! Better than sex cake is one of my favorites and it's topped with Cool Whip, but it's also helped along with pineapple, vanilla pudding, and nuts. This was just sad bakery cake with dyed, slightly dried out Cool Whip.



I've had something like that but sans cake.. it was just some sort of.. pudding dessert. It was good though! I love nuts and cool whip together for some reason.


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## TallFatSue (Sep 1, 2009)

Methinx Cool Whip takes up valuable space that could be filled with genuine whipped cream.


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## mergirl (Sep 1, 2009)

haha.. i just clicked here cause i thought it said "Food transvestites"!! I had to find out what that was.. hmm.. Manly food served on a foofy pink plate i imagine..


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## katorade (Sep 1, 2009)

thatgirl08 said:


> I've had something like that but sans cake.. it was just some sort of.. pudding dessert. It was good though! I love nuts and cool whip together for some reason.



You have GOT to try the cake. It's nothing short of amazing, and I'm a huge food snob. All you need to know how to do is bake box cake mix and make pudding, lol. I also forgot about the coconut. It's built like this....


nuts and coconut
*whipped cream
vanilla pudding
crushed pineapple
yellow cake

*


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## BigBeautifulMe (Sep 1, 2009)

I'm cooking tonight, which means a new creation for the travesties thread! LOL.

All my mom has here are cheap cuts of steak she's frozen. *sigh*. Her usual way of cooking them is to stick them on the Foreman grill until they're tough and tasteless. 

So I'm making a marinade for them, and I'm going to panbroil them (or try to). 

The marinade? One of my own making, using vidalia onion dressing, soy sauce, ginger, and honey. 

This should be interesting. I am soooo not a cook. :doh:


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## tonynyc (Sep 1, 2009)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> I'm cooking tonight, which means a new creation for the travesties thread! LOL.
> 
> All my mom has here are cheap cuts of steak she's frozen. *sigh*. Her usual way of cooking them is to stick them on the Foreman grill until they're tough and tasteless.
> 
> ...



Good luck with the steaks and you a certianly making a very smart choice with the marinade. How long are you letting the steaks marinade? Also doesn't hurt to prick the steak a few times with a fork to let them soak up this great stuff... 

If you don't like the Onion Dressing a good marinade is Light Italian (Ken's Steak House). Give us the verdict on the steaks...


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## BigBeautifulMe (Sep 1, 2009)

Surprisingly (given all the ingredients were my idea) it was very good! :eat2: 

It was my first time ever cooking steaks in my life... go ahead and laugh  ... but my friend Betty Crocker gave me a pretty good idea of how long they needed to cook for. lol. 

They only got to marinate for a half-hour because I had no notice and they had to be done by 6 p.m., but next time if they marinate longer they'll be even better, I think. I just wish my folks had an actual grill at their house - that would be even better.


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## thatgirl08 (Sep 1, 2009)

TallFatSue said:


> Methinx Cool Whip takes up valuable space that could be filled with genuine whipped cream.



I love whipped cream but cool whip has it's place in certain stuff.



katorade said:


> You have GOT to try the cake. It's nothing short of amazing, and I'm a huge food snob. All you need to know how to do is bake box cake mix and make pudding, lol. I also forgot about the coconut. It's built like this....
> 
> 
> nuts and coconut
> ...



This sounds super easy.. I'm going to try to make it soon!


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## Dr. Feelgood (Sep 1, 2009)

mergirl said:


> haha.. i just clicked here cause i thought it said "Food transvestites"!! I had to find out what that was.. hmm.. Manly food served on a foofy pink plate i imagine..



I think you have the beginnings of a fad here...maybe this needs to go on the "If I owned A Restaurant" thread.


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## eyeswidenow (Sep 2, 2009)

A thread close to my heart, I have one passionate hate - ketchup, catsup I think it is mostly called over there. Here it is called tomato sauce. I despise it - on anything. Totally verbotten in my house.


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## PhatChk (Sep 2, 2009)

eyeswidenow said:


> A thread close to my heart, I have one passionate hate - ketchup, catsup I think it is mostly called over there. Here it is called tomato sauce. I despise it - on anything. Totally verbotten in my house.



I agree I hate ketchup. I only allow it in a few things like hamburgers and homemade fries and only a little. I think when people use it is cover real taste instead of helping it. I hate seeing people putting ketchup on fried chicken yuckkk!


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## TallFatSue (Sep 2, 2009)

Several of us were talking about food travesties at lunchtime, and someone mentioned her grandmother used to eat lard sandwiches. That's 2 slices of bread covered with hog lard sprinkled with sugar. Bleccccch!


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## Rowan (Sep 2, 2009)

TallFatSue said:


> Several of us were talking about food travesties at lunchtime, and someone mentioned her grandmother used to eat lard sandwiches. That's 2 slices of bread covered with hog lard sprinkled with sugar. Bleccccch!



Ive heard of that and it makes me gag every time!


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## HottiMegan (Sep 2, 2009)

TallFatSue said:


> Several of us were talking about food travesties at lunchtime, and someone mentioned her grandmother used to eat lard sandwiches. That's 2 slices of bread covered with hog lard sprinkled with sugar. Bleccccch!



I don't know what lard tastes like but that just sounds like something that would leave a greasy film on your tongue for hours!!

I always thought my mom's peanut butter and banana sandwiches were gross, that lard one tops the idea of a gross sandwich!


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## mossystate (Sep 2, 2009)

Don't fuck with my steamed broccoli or asparagus by squirting lemon on it.

I will cut you.


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## Esther (Sep 2, 2009)

smithnwesson said:


> My main one is chili with beans added to it. Serve the fucken beans on the side, fer Christ's sake: Don't put them into the chili.



I know this is a super, super old post, but I have to comment on it:
I'm a vegetarian! If I don't put beans in my chili, there won't be anything in it!

I personally can't stand seeing people put ketchup on poutine. Why, why, why.


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## Chef (Sep 2, 2009)

TallFatSue said:


> Several of us were talking about food travesties at lunchtime, and someone mentioned her grandmother used to eat lard sandwiches. That's 2 slices of bread covered with hog lard sprinkled with sugar. Bleccccch!



Our grandparents generation had some hard times during the great depression, when folks were so poor that kids would bring lard sandwiches to school. Your grandma probably thought of it as comfort food. Lard has a porky smell, but it doesn't really have a taste. So when you use it to make the best pie crusts, and the best tortillas, and the best tamales, it also doesn't have a pork taste. Hydrogenated lard, available at the store, is solid at room temperature, but depression era lard probably was not hydrogenated, and was very runny at room temperature, so I don't picture lard sandwiches having a thick "Crisco" like layer of lard, but rather more like a thin "mayo" like layer. 2c.


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## TallFatSue (Sep 2, 2009)

Chef said:


> Our grandparents generation had some hard times during the great depression, when folks were so poor that kids would bring lard sandwiches to school. Your grandma probably thought of it as comfort food. Lard has a porky smell, but it doesn't really have a taste. So when you use it to make the best pie crusts, and the best tortillas, and the best tamales, it also doesn't have a pork taste. Hydrogenated lard, available at the store, is solid at room temperature, but depression era lard probably was not hydrogenated, and was very runny at room temperature, so I don't picture lard sandwiches having a thick "Crisco" like layer of lard, but rather more like a thin "mayo" like layer. 2c.


Gee, I knew it made good pie crusts, but I didn't know about the different consistency of non-hydrogenated lard. Interesting.


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## thatgirl08 (Sep 2, 2009)

Still gross:/


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## cinnamitch (Sep 2, 2009)

Hate ketchup on burgers or hot dogs.


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## Chef (Sep 3, 2009)

TallFatSue said:


> Gee, I knew it made good pie crusts, but I didn't know about the different consistency of non-hydrogenated lard. Interesting.



A friend has called bullsh*t on my statement, that there is no difference in consistency between lard and hydrogenated lard. I remember using a much creamier lard before, but apparantly it had nothing to do with hydrogenation, rather it could be temperature. My Bad.


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## The Orange Mage (Sep 3, 2009)

I keep reading the title of this thread as "food transvestites."

That is all. Carry on.


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## smithnwesson (Sep 3, 2009)

The Orange Mage said:


> I keep reading the title of this thread as "food transvestites."
> 
> That is all. Carry on.


I do too and I'm the one who came up with the title.


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## mergirl (Sep 3, 2009)

The Orange Mage said:


> I keep reading the title of this thread as "food transvestites."
> 
> That is all. Carry on.



haha.. i said that just a few posts ago!!! Its funny! Perhaps food transvestisism needs to be discussed or something!?


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## Rowan (Sep 3, 2009)

smithnwesson said:


> I do too and I'm the one who came up with the title.



Ive been thinking this same thing to myself...and that picture is awesome lol


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## cammy (Sep 3, 2009)

The Orange Mage said:


> I keep reading the title of this thread as "food transvestites."
> 
> That is all. Carry on.



My misread is what caused me to open the thread.

Anyway, over salting food - yuck!


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## Gingembre (Sep 3, 2009)

smithnwesson said:


> What do you really hate to see people do to their food?
> 
> Mayonnaise on French fries?
> Well-done steaks?
> ...



Hahaha, I do all these things!


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## PamelaLois (Sep 3, 2009)

Chef said:


> A friend has called bullsh*t on my statement, that there is no difference in consistency between lard and hydrogenated lard. I remember using a much creamier lard before, but apparantly it had nothing to do with hydrogenation, rather it could be temperature. My Bad.


 
Chef, could you be thinking about vegetable oils which are liquid at room temperature, but when hydrogenated, become more solid? Crisco would be a prime example of this. Vegetable shortening.


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## theladypoet (Sep 4, 2009)

Esther said:


> I know this is a super, super old post, but I have to comment on it:
> I'm a vegetarian! If I don't put beans in my chili, there won't be anything in it!
> 
> I personally can't stand seeing people put ketchup on poutine. Why, why, why.



AMEN to no ketchup on poutine. While we're on it, no cheddar or mozzarella on poutine either. It should be squeaky cheese (cheese curds, I think).

And if you think a lard sandwich is gross, you should try my uncle's favourite- peanut butter and onion. Blech.


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## The Orange Mage (Sep 4, 2009)

I find it odd that the beans-in-chili thing is an issue...I've never seen it served in my area without them unless it's that freakin' awful Cincy-style chili.

For me, any Steak done above medium, and cooking green peppers when I am within smelling distance.


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## katorade (Sep 4, 2009)

theladypoet said:


> And if you think a lard sandwich is gross, you should try my uncle's favourite- peanut butter and onion. Blech.



I can top that. My aunt Eileen used to eat peanut butter and balogna sandwiches and tuna fish and Welch's grape jelly sandwiches. It haaaaaaad to be Welch's, though, otherwise it was just gross. *gag*


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## Esther (Sep 4, 2009)

theladypoet said:


> AMEN to no ketchup on poutine. While we're on it, no cheddar or mozzarella on poutine either. It should be squeaky cheese (cheese curds, I think).



Haha, I love that you call it squeaky cheese, too. I sometimes just eat cheese curds by themselves because I love the way they squeak.

How about this one: crab/lobster salad (the kind that's made with mayonnaise, like tuna salad). Why on earth would you waste crab or lobster by drowning out its flavour with such a strong dressing?!


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## frankman (Sep 4, 2009)

Couple of things bug the hell out of me:

- Here in the Netherlands, people put mayonnaise on everything. If you think Pulp Fiction style french fries are bad, wait 'till you see what mayonnaise can do to kebab, sausages, steak or other meat products. It an off-white massacre.

- Cream in soup. Why do people put cream in perfectly good chicken- or vegetable soup? I've seen people put cream in Dutch pea soup, which is just sacrilege. Cream is great for mushroom soup, and tomato soup if you want, but keep good clear soups clear. Clear?

- Alcohol in foodstuff. I love to drink, I love to eat, but I don't want to do both at the same time. The exception is stewing in beer, or the use of beer as a rising agent. Or beer in BBQ chicken. Beer is the exception I guess.

- People that ask their spouse whether they will like something or not. Put the food in your damn gob and find out. I know it's not really an "edible" peeve, but men/women who have lost the will to just try stuff and make their own decisions regarding the taste of food should be euthanized.


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## mossystate (Sep 4, 2009)

Peanut butter with sugar. Just. Stop. 

Along the lines of the SO and whining about food....people ( usually women, and more than just a now and then thing ) who dream of foods they like, but will not fix them because honey does not like them. Keep a loaf of bread, and some pb with no sugar. They can either cook for themselves... or enjoy a sandwich. See, I am a problem solver!!


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## Isa (Sep 4, 2009)

Deep fried butter.

I love fried foods in general but this is going a bit far.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Sep 4, 2009)

Esther said:


> Haha, I love that you call it squeaky cheese, too. I sometimes just eat cheese curds by themselves because I love the way they squeak.
> 
> How about this one: crab/lobster salad (the kind that's made with mayonnaise, like tuna salad). Why on earth would you waste crab or lobster by drowning out its flavour with such a strong dressing?!


Because you have so much of it you have to come up with new ways to fix it? 

Back when I was a kid we went fishing and/or crabbing every day during the summer, so we had fish and/or crab every day. After a while it got boring. We had crab salad a lot. lol


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## Sugar (Sep 4, 2009)

frankman said:


> Couple of things bug the hell out of me:
> 
> - Here in the Netherlands, people put mayonnaise on everything. If you think Pulp Fiction style french fries are bad, wait 'till you see what mayonnaise can do to kebab, sausages, steak or other meat products. It an off-white massacre.
> 
> ...



Do they have cattle farms in the Netherlands?


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## PamelaLois (Sep 4, 2009)

The Orange Mage said:


> I find it odd that the beans-in-chili thing is an issue...I've never seen it served in my area without them unless it's that freakin' awful Cincy-style chili.
> 
> For me, any Steak done above medium, and cooking green peppers when I am within smelling distance.




Gotta agree with you on the cooked green peppers, EW EW EW. I love them raw, but when they are cooked, they are just nasty


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## Dr. Feelgood (Sep 4, 2009)

frankman said:


> - People that ask their spouse whether they will like something or not. Put the food in your damn gob and find out. I know it's not really an "edible" peeve, but men/women who have lost the will to just try stuff and make their own decisions regarding the taste of food should be euthanized.



This used to happen to me a _LOT_ back in my dating days. I made it my custom to go to an Italian restaurant on the first date, and the chef knew me well enough to send out calamari 'extra rare' on request. I figured if the lady had enough gumption to fight it out with a main dish that grabbed her fork away, she was a keeper.


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## frankman (Sep 5, 2009)

Lucky said:


> Do they have cattle farms in the Netherlands?



Only small ones, bio friendly and stuff. 
We do have chicken farms and dairy farms.


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## Esther (Sep 5, 2009)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> Because you have so much of it you have to come up with new ways to fix it?
> 
> Back when I was a kid we went fishing and/or crabbing every day during the summer, so we had fish and/or crab every day. After a while it got boring. We had crab salad a lot. lol



It must just be because I live in a central province then... I rarely get to eat crab and lobster, and on the rare occasion that I do eat it I usually paid a fortune for it.


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## debz-aka (Sep 6, 2009)

Why do people ruin perfectly good peanut butter cookies by putting sugar on the top? Overly sweet pastries are vile!


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## katorade (Sep 7, 2009)

debz-aka said:


> Why do people ruin perfectly good peanut butter cookies by putting sugar on the top? Overly sweet pastries are vile!



But that's the best way! It provides a really nice crisp and keeps them from drying out too quickly. I usually counteract the sweetness by adding a little more salt into the cookie and by baking them into bars so there's more cookie to sugar ratio.


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## phatkhat (Sep 7, 2009)

Cottage cheese on baked potatoes. Ketchup on mac and cheese. Fries dipped in Wendys frosty.


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## mejix (Sep 9, 2009)

not sure if this constitutes a travesty but i thought it was a pretty funny combination: wine & cereal


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## The Orange Mage (Sep 9, 2009)

phatkhat said:


> Cottage cheese on baked potatoes. Ketchup on mac and cheese. Fries dipped in Wendys frosty.



I'm with you on all but the last one. The last one is okay, but they're actually better plain!


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## buttbooger (Sep 30, 2009)

When ribs are smothered in BBQ sauce(especially at some restaurants where they dont serve BBQ sauce on the side as an option) when ribs taste mouth watering good w/o it.

My cousin used to eat koolaide and noodles mixed.
My brother ate baked potato w/ marshmellows in it (more apprpriate for sweet potatos in my opinion)

Anything low-fat/fat-free/low carb: does not make me feel nourished-better off eating paper

I, too, dont like it when someone extinguishes cigarrettes into leftover food, scraps could be saved instead.

velveeta mac n cheese: does not beat the traditional homemde Mac n cheese. ever.

Now for some of my favorites:
medium rare steak with its trimmings and some seasoning and/or butter on a grill
smoked country style ribs (hold the BBQ sauce!)
lemon-pepper brisket on grill(smoked)
3 cheese homemade mac n cheese
sweet potato pie
peach cobbler
rhubard pie(not sure if spelled right)
pizzas


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## SoVerySoft (Sep 30, 2009)

buttbooger said:


> When ribs are smothered in BBQ sauce(especially at some restaurants where they dont serve BBQ sauce on the side as an option) when ribs taste mouth watering good w/o it...



ABSOLUTELY!! I love ribs without sauce. btw, welcome to Dims!


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## Paquito (Sep 30, 2009)

My roommate cooks his ramen noodles with a sunny side up egg in the mix.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Sep 30, 2009)

That actually sounds good. Think about it when you order chinese food - many of their noodle dishes come with scrambled egg mixed in.


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## Rowan (Sep 30, 2009)

and the food transvestite thread is back! lol

...heres one...pork chops...just the mere existence...gag lol


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## Oirish (Sep 30, 2009)

I'm one of the unlucky few that grew up with a grandma that couldn't cook a thing worth eating! She is famously bad. Most anything she makes is a food travesty but here is an especially bad example:
she screwed up a French Dip! She overcooked a beef roast and rather than making au jus she used the drippings off the meat alone! But those drippings weren't in a cup to dip in. Nooooo...instead she took the top piece of bread and dipped it in the drippings prior to serving the sandwich! It was all soggy and awful. She ate hers with a fork and knife. When I asked her why she would do that she replied "that's how all the nice restaurant serve these." My reply was "nice restaurants don't serve French Dips at all." My grandpa just kept looking from his plate to her very confused and still quite hungry. Poor guy's been suffering for almost 50 years now.


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## Esther (Sep 30, 2009)

Oh man, one of my grandmothers is a terrible cook as well. Here's one for ya:
She cooks her chicken pot pie with chicken thighs. With bones in them.
Crust, gravy, and chicken with bones. Why even make a pie!?!


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## mossystate (Sep 30, 2009)

Damn. You actually said that to your Grandma? 

I say that if after 50 years a person refuses to cook for themselves...if the food that someone has kindly made them is so hideous...then they deserve to go hungry.


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## Paquito (Sep 30, 2009)

My grandma has seasoning issues (the poor taste buds are dying) and yea, we don't particularly like it. But considering that she's taking the time out to cook for us because we're too busy working/schooling, it's not a big deal.


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## Ernest Nagel (Oct 1, 2009)

free2beme04 said:


> My grandma has seasoning issues (the poor taste buds are dying) and yea, we don't particularly like it. But considering that she's taking the time out to cook for us because we're too busy working/schooling, it's not a big deal.



CAUTIONARY NOTE: Although taste diminishes slightly with age it's mostly the olfactory (smell) sense. If basic tastes (sweet, salt, bitter) start to disappear it can be a sign of Parkinson's. Might want to have her checked? Malnutrition/starvation is actually one of the leading mortality factors for Parkies. No tastee, no eatie.

And as long as I'm here - chicken wings! WTF?!? When I was younger these things were called CAT FOOD! What'll they be foisting on us next? Necks? 

Side note: chicken feet are considered a delicacy in China and they buy most of what we used to discard as unsuitable even for cat food. :bow:


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## Flutterby68 (Oct 1, 2009)

Ketchup on eggs (particularly over-easy eggs) that gets all gloppy and gross. Also, ketchup on hash browns. Basically, I think ketchup is NOT for breakfast.

Dipping french fries into a milkshake. Ew.

And my all-time-most-disgusting EVER.. my ex husband used to mix scoops of vanilla ice cream.. with BEER. OMG yuck.


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## Tooz (Oct 1, 2009)

Flutterby68 said:


> Ketchup on eggs (particularly over-easy eggs) that gets all gloppy and gross. Also, ketchup on hash browns. Basically, I think ketchup is NOT for breakfast.
> 
> Dipping french fries into a milkshake. Ew.
> 
> And my all-time-most-disgusting EVER.. my ex husband used to mix scoops of vanilla ice cream.. with BEER. OMG yuck.



I had ice cream made with beer. It was amazing.


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## Frankie (Oct 3, 2009)

Rowan said:


> ...heres one...pork chops...just the mere existence...gag lol





mossystate said:


> Damn. You actually said that to your Grandma?
> 
> I say that if after 50 years a person refuses to cook for themselves...if the food that someone has kindly made them is so hideous...then they deserve to go hungry.



I only wish my Grandma was still alive and would cook some pork chops, sauerkraut, and boiled potatoes or sauerbraten and spaetzle. Or rouladen. And I would kill for one of her doughnuts, peach or apple tarts, and Christmas cookies. Even a bad French dip if I could see my grandparents again just once more.

Sorry. Back to food travesties.


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## Esther (Oct 3, 2009)

Now I feel like a total bitch for saying my grandmother is a bad cook. But honestly... if a person is a bad cook, they are a bad cook. (I'm one too.) It doesn't mean I love her any less or that I'd sit there and make her feel bad about it... nor would I ever refuse to eat something she's made me. 
And for the record, I don't eat poultry, beef or pork at all anyway and she's aware of that so I've never tried her creepy chicken pot pie with bones. It just blows my mind that she and my grandfather enjoy that meal.


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## buttbooger (Oct 3, 2009)

SoVerySoft said:


> ABSOLUTELY!! I love ribs without sauce. btw, welcome to Dims!



Thank you for the welcome


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## katorade (Oct 6, 2009)

Esther said:


> Now I feel like a total bitch for saying my grandmother is a bad cook. But honestly... if a person is a bad cook, they are a bad cook. (I'm one too.) It doesn't mean I love her any less or that I'd sit there and make her feel bad about it... nor would I ever refuse to eat something she's made me.
> And for the record, I don't eat poultry, beef or pork at all anyway and she's aware of that so I've never tried her creepy chicken pot pie with bones. It just blows my mind that she and my grandfather enjoy that meal.



Aww, don't feel bad. My Meemah is pretty bad, too. Only when she gets "experimental" and veers away from recipes she knows. I went to see her one day with a friend of mine, and after swimming in the pool for a while, we came inside to have dinner. The woman had formed chicken cordon bleu in a ring, filled the center with stuffing, dumped cream of mushroom soup on top, and lined the whole affair with pineapple rings. It must have been "spring cleaning the cabinets" day, yyyyyyyikes.


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## buttbooger (Oct 25, 2009)

here is an awsome food travesty-I say awsome because it's sooo gross it makes a great story

When I was about 10, my Mom pre-cooked some burger patties to store in the freezer. Good thinking for tough times. BUT she also included adding dry chow-mein noodles into those patties. Sooo when I took out a patty and put all the fixins on it, I took a bite and these long grey soggy wormy things came out with the bite. I fed it to the dog, told mom it was good, went upstairs, stole some change, told mom I was going outside to play, then went to Burgerking. Mom wasnt the kind of person you say "this is nasty" or "im not hungry" to. You ate or got your ass wooped or grounded, lol.


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