# Letting someone gain on their own



## bmonica43 (May 8, 2018)

What do you guys think of letting someone you love eat whatever and gain weight?

I love my gf and want to see her gain a few pounds, but don't want to pressure her or make her feel uncomfortable. She is already pretty chubby and eats mostly whatever she wants, which will most likely lead to some more extra weight without my interference.

While I would love to see her bigger, I don't want her to be unhappy with her body or make unhealthy choices (junk and sugar all the time). Ways to boost her confidence or gain more healthily?

Would love some unbiased feedback, this seems to be one of the only places to ask questions like this


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## Tad (May 10, 2018)

I think that this is the only ethical path, assuming that] your partner is not asking you to help them gain.

On the other hand, it is harder than it looks. The metaphor I've used before is that your partner is a sailboat. You've decided not to grab the tiller and steer her, and not to tell her where to steer herself, and not even to ask her to steer in a particular direction. BUT in hoping that she gains you still make a breeze blowing toward fatland. Sailboats can sail against the wind, but it is easier to sail with it. And if they are not actively sailing they'll tend to drift with the wind.

Here are examples of the breeze that comes from me. You can assess how hard you blow.
- "the tax refund came in" ."great, we should go out to supper to celebrate!". (Instead of going to a movie or a sports game. Going mini-golfing, etc. Not deliberate on my part, I just associate celebrating with eating a lot)

- "I know I just ate supper an hour agoan but i'm hungry!". I start offering her things to eat, not suggesting " have a glass of water and wait it our , it should go away in a while". (This one is a mix of being nice and being unable to resist the turn on of seeing her eat extra)

- I notice her clothes are looking tight, I take the next excuse to buy her bigger clothes, without really mentioning the size. Again in part to be nice, but also in part because I don't want any restrictions on her growing.

With an effort I can reign in these behaviours somewhat, but I'm pretty sure tat I can never eliminate some of the more subconscious things.


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## loopytheone (May 10, 2018)

This is actually the only kind of weight gain I like. I'm not interested at all in people intentionally gaining, I just love seeing people relax, listen to their cravings and really enjoy food/life. Whatever size they end up is great, though obviously as an FFA I have my preferences, hah.


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## extra_m13 (May 10, 2018)

i don't see any problem with it, just let her know that she turns you on and enjoy the ride, no pressure to either side and if she gains naturally for me that is the best and sexiest


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## luckyfa (Jun 25, 2021)

My wife gained about 130 lbs in 10 years that way. As a matter of fact, for someone who doesn’t want to gain weight in the long run, the margin for error is breathtakingly small if one loves food but dislikes physical exercise.


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## jello4me (Jul 6, 2021)

My wife has always been heavy throughout her life and has steadily gained and softened up over our 30 years together due to appetite and sedentary lifestyle (fully encouraged by me). At her heaviest she was over 375 - lots of mean looks from doctors, but I always looked forward to the weigh in. Had to unfortunately lose some weight for a serious surgery but is back on the slow gain train, probably 325 now, loves wine and snacks.. Facing stair struggles now and gets winded easily on walks. I find it totally erotic that she is huffing and puffing now, and oh yeah that belly hang, but I understand that she is going to have to slow down the food to maintain health as we get older. It is a balance. When she was 30 all I could think about is a mound of fat, now reality enters.


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## Broseph (Jul 11, 2021)

Thanks for the thread and to the other posters. One thing I've read on this forum and have experienced myself is to praise her body, to show her that you are really attracted to her chubbiness/belly/thighs etc. This has boosted my SO's confidence. Interestingly enough, she has gained weight and does not eat sugar or flour (for health reasons). She doesn't like exercise and likes good food.

I once asked her pretty directly if she'd be willing to gain weight. She didn't say no but she didn't say yes. She did gain but not "intentionally." To use Tad's image, she has "stayed the course" more or less. Is this because she knows exactly what my preference is? Or because, knowing she doesn't have to shrink to please me, she has stopped pressuring herself to be thin? Maybe it's both, maybe it's neither. I wouldn't call her fat though, so take my experience with a grain of salt. I couldn't quite gather from what you've written whether she is into gaining herself or whether you two have talked about gaining or your preference. I assume she is not into gaining or you likely wouldn't have posted  Anyway, I can relate to what you've written. 

...I just realized this post is like three years old! Give us an update if you're still out there!


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## luckyfa (Jul 12, 2021)

Broseph said:


> She doesn't like exercise and likes good food


 The dream combination!


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