# My fat is result of freedom



## Lalique (Oct 8, 2008)

I`m not the most actibe in here, but I have to admit i read the forums everyday. You are all my inspiration and reminding me of how wonderful it is to be free, at every size

I came to learn how wonderful it is to be free. I`m almost crying as I type this, because the taste of freedom is so sweet.

I have lived all my life hating myself for what I look like and for my lack of willpower around food. Now I realize I am born to live life in abundance and the fact that I am big and my passion for food does not make me a bad person. 

I am me and I am free :wubu:

So this fall I am planning to indulge myself in everyway possible. 

My pledge goes out to all of you; give yourself the best!

Live, love, eat, be free :wubu:


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## Tad (Oct 8, 2008)

I'm glad you are still reading. There is such real emotion in what you write, it is just so plain to see.....from your first posts longing to be free, on to ones struggling with the change, and now it seems like you are getting there. I hope we'll hear more from you as time goes on and you grow comfortable with your new way of life!


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## imfree (Oct 8, 2008)

Lalique said:


> I`m not the most actibe in here, but I have to admit i read the forums everyday. You are all my inspiration and reminding me of how wonderful it is to be free, at every size
> 
> I came to learn how wonderful it is to be free. I`m almost crying as I type this, because the taste of freedom is so sweet.
> 
> ...



imfree too. I have spiritual freedom in Christ and I have
a free mind because of things I've learned in Dimensions
Forums. It's great to see you here.


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## SupaSexi (Oct 8, 2008)

Thanks for sharing. This post made me smile


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## superodalisque (Oct 8, 2008)

what supasis said! i'm so glad your here too. freedom is what its all about!


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## Cors (Oct 8, 2008)

Your self-love and freedom is inspiring, I hope to feel the same someday.


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## Sicilia_Curves (Oct 8, 2008)

I'm glad you have learned to love and embrace yourself! I know it took a long time and a lot of hard work to get to where you are today! Never stop loving you!


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## squidge dumpling (Oct 9, 2008)

Lalique said:


> I`m not the most actibe in here, but I have to admit i read the forums everyday. You are all my inspiration and reminding me of how wonderful it is to be free, at every size
> 
> I came to learn how wonderful it is to be free. I`m almost crying as I type this, because the taste of freedom is so sweet.
> 
> ...



Thanks for sharing. This post made me smile and i am glad your here too.


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## space_dazee (Oct 9, 2008)

Lalique said:


> I`m not the most actibe in here, but I have to admit i read the forums everyday. You are all my inspiration and reminding me of how wonderful it is to be free, at every size
> 
> I came to learn how wonderful it is to be free. I`m almost crying as I type this, because the taste of freedom is so sweet.
> 
> ...



:happy: Who wants hugs? I so want hugs! This moment is so hug worthy *gives out hugs*


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## wrestlingguy (Oct 9, 2008)

This post is a reminder to me about why I'm here. When I read posts like this, it touches my heart & soul to see that someone is growing to love themselves as they are.

It's a long journey, but worth it. Glad to see you're with us, Lalique.


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## Adamantoise (Oct 9, 2008)

Lalique said:


> I`m not the most actibe in here, but I have to admit i read the forums everyday. You are all my inspiration and reminding me of how wonderful it is to be free, at every size
> 
> I came to learn how wonderful it is to be free. I`m almost crying as I type this, because the taste of freedom is so sweet.
> 
> ...



God bless you-this is the sweetest thing I've read all day.
You rock! :blush:


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## pinkylou (Oct 9, 2008)

Just be you and you cant go wrong


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## imfree (Oct 9, 2008)

space_dazee said:


> :happy: Who wants hugs? I so want hugs! This moment is so hug worthy *gives out hugs*



Space_Dazee, your offer is wonderful and
inspires me to stand with you and offer
the same.


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## beach (Oct 9, 2008)

I'm one of those people who has tried to lose weight repeatedly, only to add more on, of course. Recently, because I've been working in less than ideal conditions, I have become a bit depressed and have been eating a lot to make me feel better. Well, I feel better all right! I've discovered that I enjoy eating outrageously all day and getting fatter as a result. It's a great sense of freedom from that all "have to lose weight" thought process. I've been bringing lots and lots of snacks and munchies to work every day and polishing off every single crumb. I even make sure that I get every little sesame seed that falls off my bagel. 

Count me as fat and happy.


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## FlabbyFrank (Jan 22, 2019)

Beach, your tummy looks fantastic in your avatar pic !

I wish more women would just let themselves go a bit and not kill themself with some totally unrealistic goal.

Some of us just are not meant to be skinny with flat bellies. Many men like me prefer a woman that is technically obese and has significant lovehandles.


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## BouncingBoy (Jan 22, 2019)

My belief is we are as we are meant to be!If we're meant to be thin we will be thin.If we are meant to be athletic then we will be.If we are meant to be fat we will become fat!I'm not saying we shouldn't try to change but ONLY if WE feel the need to do so.NOT just because society says we should!I've been BIG all my life.According to the Navy I should only be #145!Last time I saw that weight I was in my preteens......lol. So be who/what you want to be & you'll be happier!


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## Tracyarts (Jan 22, 2019)

I used to feel the same way. Now, at an advancing age, with multiple obesity related health and mobility complications, my fat is the cause of a soul crushing loss of freedom. 

I'm dealing with loss of basic physical freedom. No longer can leave my home freely. No longer can walk freely. No longer can stand freely. I am no longer free to go where I want to go, when I want to do it. I have to rely on mobility aids and if an outing requires much more than walking short distances and sitting, I have to schedule for my husband or a paid assistant to transport me and my wheelchair, then push me around at my destination. 

I also no longer have the freedom to go into small tightly packed spaces. No more shopping at small interesting stores. 

I no longer have the ability to climb stairs or use more than a few steps. Not all places I wish to go in the world have ramps and elevators.

I no longer have the freedom to participate in nature as I would like to. I can only go on adaptive trails and boardwalk viewing areas. Even trying to walk a short distance "off pavement" could result in a fall. Which at my weight could render me completely immobile. 

I am no longer free to risk the most minor of missteps without risking what little mobility I still have. 

I am no longer free to enjoy the beach, rivers, and lakes due to limited mobility and compromised skin integrity. 

I am no longer free to live my life spontaneously. Obesity related health complications that require more than a dozen prescriptions a day bind me to a rigid pill, injection, and topical skin treatment schedule. 

I am no longer free to sleep anywhere I cannot plug in my cpap machine.

I am no longer free to indulge in many spa and salon services. Too great of a risk of injury or potential infection. 

I am still free to eat whatever I want whenever I want (as long as I can afford to purchase enough insulin to counterbalance it) but what the fuck kind of a substitute is *food* for lack of a fulfilling, rich, actively participatory life? 

I'd rather do, go, see, and experience the world than eat without restriction, TBH, that's why I keep working so hard to get to a lower weight.


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## BigElectricKat (Jan 22, 2019)

Tracyarts said:


> I used to feel the same way. Now, at an advancing age, with multiple obesity related health and mobility complications, my fat is the cause of a soul crushing loss of freedom.
> 
> I'm dealing with loss of basic physical freedom. No longer can leave my home freely. No longer can walk freely. No longer can stand freely. I am no longer free to go where I want to go, when I want to do it. I have to rely on mobility aids and if an outing requires much more than walking short distances and sitting, I have to schedule for my husband or a paid assistant to transport me and my wheelchair, then push me around at my destination.
> 
> ...


Tracy, this is the most open, honest, revealing, and poignant response I have ever read on Dims. I've had a hard time wrapping my head around the whole gainer/feedee/feeder subculture (for want of a better word) that is part of this community. While I don't judge other people's motivations in this regard, I've wondered if such persons account for all of these consequences that you've so beautifully shined the light of reality upon. 
Goodness! You've really brought tears to my eyes and awakened something within me to "get my ass in gear". Thank you. 
I wish you all the best in your endeavors to reclaim your health, mobility, and true freedom.


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## LizzieJones (Jan 22, 2019)

Tracyarts said:


> I used to feel the same way. Now, at an advancing age, with multiple obesity related health and mobility complications, my fat is the cause of a soul crushing loss of freedom.
> 
> I'm dealing with loss of basic physical freedom. No longer can leave my home freely. No longer can walk freely. No longer can stand freely. I am no longer free to go where I want to go, when I want to do it. I have to rely on mobility aids and if an outing requires much more than walking short distances and sitting, I have to schedule for my husband or a paid assistant to transport me and my wheelchair, then push me around at my destination.
> 
> ...



Your situation is exactly the same as mine. You're not alone.


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## LizzieJones (Jan 22, 2019)

BigElectricKat said:


> I've had a hard time wrapping my head around the whole gainer/feedee/feeder subculture



I dislike it intensely. I won't even date any man who is into that.


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## BigElectricKat (Jan 22, 2019)

LizzieJones said:


> Your situation is exactly the same as mine. You're not alone.


Keep pressing Lizzie! You can accomplish ny goal you choose.


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## BigElectricKat (Jan 22, 2019)

LizzieJones said:


> I dislike it intensely. I won't even date any man who is into that.


So... there is a chance!?!?!


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## LizzieJones (Jan 22, 2019)

BigElectricKat said:


> So... there is a chance!?!?!



What do you mean by that?


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## landshark (Jan 22, 2019)

Tracyarts said:


> I used to feel the same way. Now, at an advancing age, with multiple obesity related health and mobility complications, my fat is the cause of a soul crushing loss of freedom.
> 
> I'm dealing with loss of basic physical freedom. No longer can leave my home freely. No longer can walk freely. No longer can stand freely. I am no longer free to go where I want to go, when I want to do it. I have to rely on mobility aids and if an outing requires much more than walking short distances and sitting, I have to schedule for my husband or a paid assistant to transport me and my wheelchair, then push me around at my destination.
> 
> ...



Everything spelled out here is exactly why I’ve always supported my wife’s weight loss efforts despite my preferences. She recently told me her weight, and I knew she had lost some pounds but had no idea just how much. I was proud of her when she told me and her current weight was lower than I expected.

But that wasn’t a happy conversation because she said she has so much more to do and spelled out similar concerns as you’ve written here. So there is work to be done and I’ll help her every step of the way in any way I can.


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## BigElectricKat (Jan 23, 2019)

LizzieJones said:


> What do you mean by that?


I'm not into that.


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## LizzieJones (Jan 23, 2019)

BigElectricKat said:


> I'm not into that.



I should have figured that out. Duh! Apparently my brain was in 'non'working mode' last night.


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## BigElectricKat (Jan 23, 2019)

LizzieJones said:


> I should have figured that out. Duh! Apparently my brain was in 'non'working mode' last night.


As long as it's in 'working mode' today. You know I like that brain of yours.


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## LizzieJones (Jan 23, 2019)

BigElectricKat said:


> As long as it's in 'working mode' today. You know I like that brain of yours.



No idea why. It's old ..... rough around the edges .... very much like ME. haha


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## BigElectricKat (Jan 23, 2019)

LizzieJones said:


> No idea why. It's old ..... rough around the edges .... very much like ME. haha


Yeah, but it's just so well rounded.


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## Am Jim (Jan 24, 2019)

Prayers and thought to everyone who is suffering health problems.


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## agouderia (Jan 24, 2019)

Tracyarts said:


> I used to feel the same way. Now, at an advancing age, with multiple obesity related health and mobility complications, my fat is the cause of a soul crushing loss of freedom.
> 
> I'm dealing with loss of basic physical freedom. No longer can leave my home freely. No longer can walk freely. No longer can stand freely. I am no longer free to go where I want to go, when I want to do it. I have to rely on mobility aids and if an outing requires much more than walking short distances and sitting, I have to schedule for my husband or a paid assistant to transport me and my wheelchair, then push me around at my destination.
> 
> ...



Thank you Tracy for this incredibly honest and moving post! I wish you all the best at re-reaching your personal comfort level.

For some time I've been wondering what it was in the end that let me stay "average fat" and not get much, much larger - as personal fantasies and appetite would have suggested. Or the deeply rooted wish of really being able to eat as much as I wanted and felt like I needed, giving a s*** about the consequences.

The underlying fear of compromising my mobility - and thus independence - most likely was one of the factors that kept me at an easily manageable size. So the immobility fantasy is one that really brushes me the wrong way - not least because of the inherent gender issue in the vast majority of them.

But finding the balance between my freedom to love food and the freedom of needing to move my body will probably stay with me for the rest of my life.


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## ChattyBecca (Jan 24, 2019)

Very well stated! Freedom vs Fantasy is so big. Thank you everyone for being honest.


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## landshark (Jan 25, 2019)

@agouderia,

I appreciate your post above. I am curious about something, and wonder if you’ll elaborate. What do you mean by inherent gender issues reflgarding the immobility fantasy?

That’s not an area I’ve ever tread so I’m truly not all that familiar w the immobility fantasy. I’m interested in what you mean by that comment.


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## bigisland (Jan 25, 2019)

LizzieJones said:


> I dislike it intensely. I won't even date any man who is into that.


I feel it is a form of abuse


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## ChattyBecca (Jan 25, 2019)

I hope that if the day comes, I will be able to balance the freedom of food and the physical freedom.


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## agouderia (Jan 25, 2019)

@happily_married - there are 2 aspects to be considered regarding the gender issue in immobility fantasies.

First - immobility is always to the detriment of the immobile person. He/she is fully dependent on someone else and is no longer an autonomous adult. So at the core of the fantasy is having someone you can exercise absolute power over, as the individual is helpless.

Second - the vast majority of all immobility fantasies are men feeding women to immobility - my educated guess would be something like 85%. (And let us not get started on how frequently they have very degarding or misogynist elements.) Meaning that in essence it is fantasizing about absolute male dominance over women, the age-old, archetypical cliché.

Now feederism fans will argue it's a fantasy, it's a game, the women want it to. But read the other responses here on the issue - many people recognize and criticise what is at its core.


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## LizzieJones (Jan 25, 2019)

agouderia said:


> @happily_married - there are 2 aspects to be considered regarding the gender issue in immobility fantasies.
> 
> First - immobility is always to the detriment of the immobile person. He/she is fully dependent on someone else and is no longer an autonomous adult. So at the core of the fantasy is having someone you can exercise absolute power over, as the individual is helpless.
> 
> ...



Being immobile is no fantasy. 

Source: I'm immobile. It sucks.


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## LizzieJones (Jan 25, 2019)

bigisland said:


> I feel it is a form of abuse



Some day maybe I'll tell everyone about my older sister who died at over 700 pounds and her feeder
boyfriend was mostly to blame.


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## bigisland (Jan 25, 2019)

agouderia said:


> @happily_married - there are 2 aspects to be considered regarding the gender issue in immobility fantasies.
> 
> First - immobility is always to the detriment of the immobile person. He/she is fully dependent on someone else and is no longer an autonomous adult. So at the core of the fantasy is having someone you can exercise absolute power over, as the individual is helpless.
> 
> ...


Well said


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## landshark (Jan 25, 2019)

agouderia said:


> @happily_married - there are 2 aspects to be considered regarding the gender issue in immobility fantasies.
> 
> First - immobility is always to the detriment of the immobile person. He/she is fully dependent on someone else and is no longer an autonomous adult. So at the core of the fantasy is having someone you can exercise absolute power over, as the individual is helpless.
> 
> ...



I definitely agree with the control aspect but never really considered the gender aspect of it. Honestly I’ve never given it much thought at all, but if I had to think about it I definitely agree it’s a vast majority of men who seem interested in the fantasy. At least if the observations of some of the “fly by” guys we have come and go here are any indicator.


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## ChattyBecca (Jan 26, 2019)

LizzieJones said:


> Some day maybe I'll tell everyone about my older sister who died at over 700 pounds and her feeder
> boyfriend was mostly to blame.


Oh...WOW! So sorry.


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## agouderia (Jan 26, 2019)

LizzieJones said:


> Being immobile is no fantasy.
> 
> Source: I'm immobile. It sucks.



Lizzie - I'm extremely sorry to hear that. And I am fully aware that immobility is also a reality, a devastating one as such.

In my post and explanation though, I was only refering to the underlying patterns we find in the written immobility fantasies here on Dims (see Special Interests Archive in the Library) - meaning in fiction. That fantasists live up to them in reality is all the worse.


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## ChattyBecca (Jan 28, 2019)

happily_married said:


> I definitely agree with the control aspect but never really considered the gender aspect of it. Honestly I’ve never given it much thought at all, but if I had to think about it I definitely agree it’s a vast majority of men who seem interested in the fantasy. At least if the observations of some of the “fly by” guys we have come and go here are any indicator.


I agree...I have yet run across someone that actually wants to feed someone immobile. I am sure they're are some out there.


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## landshark (Jan 28, 2019)

ChattyBecca said:


> I agree...I have yet run across someone that actually wants to feed someone immobile. I am sure they're are some out there.



You’re right, they’re definitely out there. At least guys who fantasize about it. And I realize preference, fantasy, and fetish...those are things that can be hard to rationalize at times. I have my own (that I’ll not go into here) and I don’t even understand why the thoughts I have sometimes stay with me the way they do.

With that said the immobility fantasy is something I’ve never understood. I guess because it’s such an ugly reality for some people I’ve never been able to get my head around it when I’ve actually thought of it. I mentioned I’ve not given it much thought but the context where I have thought of it was as a place I’d like to avoid. I was once asked by someone who didn’t understand why I liked fat girls “how fat is too fat?” At the time I hadn’t given that question much thought, but almost instinctively, after just a few seconds I said that the point where routine self care becomes limited or overly laborious is probably that point. Not a number on the scale, but a point at which lifestyle changes to the degree you require someone to help you with routine daily needs such as personal hygiene or leaving the house becomes a major logistical nightmare due to size.

I also keep thinking of how would my wife feel. I hate the thought of her being unable to participate in life to the degree she wants to. That’s even her reality now and she’s lost some decent weight from her highest point last year. But the thought of her watching from the sidelines when I know she wants in breaks my heart. There is no part of me that wants to even fantasize about her being immobile.

I’m definitely not judging and hope I don’t come across that way. I have things I do fantasize about. I am just saying immobility is one I can’t get my head around.


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## loopytheone (Jan 28, 2019)

With regards to people that want to be immobile, let's just bear in mind that everybody is different and has different desires and needs in life. I've actually had a passing acquaintance with a few people that wanted to be immobile (male and female) and whilst it isn't something I understand, I don't think it's right to judge people for decisions they want to take in regards to their own life. Perhaps they will come to regret it, perhaps not. It's certainly a very upsetting fate for people who_ didn't_ choose it or want to end up that way, though, I understand that, and I wish anybody going through that the best of luck in getting to a better situation in their health and life.

As far as feeders are concerned, in my opinion it isn't right to judge an entire group of people as 'cruel' or 'abusive' just because they have different desires than you and a minority of them do really shitty things. Can feeders be cruel and abusive? Hell yeah, as can literally any other group of people. It just so happens that due to the nature of their preferences, when they are abusive it tends to end very badly for their victim and that is heartbreaking. But not all feeders are abusive, there are plenty of people out there who want to be fed/gain weight, to some degree. There are even websites out there with thousands of members that are based on feederism and plenty of relationships involving people with such interests that aren't abusive at all. It's a matter of finding somebody compatible; if you are not a feedee you wont be compatible with a feeder, but it doesn't mean they can't be exactly what somebody else is looking for. I strongly feel that some people are just hardwired to find weight gain attractive, the same as finding feet or chains or anything else 'weird' attractive. Doesn't make them bad people.


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## Saxphon (Jan 28, 2019)

ChattyBecca said:


> I agree...I have yet run across someone that actually wants to feed someone immobile. I am sure they're are some out there.


Enjoying meals together and seeing a woman add some beautiful curves to her figure is a wonderful fantasy. However, becoming immobile is not part of it. You can't really put a high end limit to one's weight gain, since everyone's body type is different. But if one's weight effects their getting around, then that does become an issue. As much as I would love to tempt and spoil a woman with feeding, I would never let it go that far.


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## ravfa (Jan 28, 2019)

loopytheone said:


> With regards to people that want to be immobile, let's just bear in mind that everybody is different and has different desires and needs in life. I've actually had a passing acquaintance with a few people that wanted to be immobile (male and female) and whilst it isn't something I understand, I don't think it's right to judge people for decisions they want to take in regards to their own life. Perhaps they will come to regret it, perhaps not. It's certainly a very upsetting fate for people who_ didn't_ choose it or want to end up that way, though, I understand that, and I wish anybody going through that the best of luck in getting to a better situation in their health and life.
> 
> As far as feeders are concerned, in my opinion it isn't right to judge an entire group of people as 'cruel' or 'abusive' just because they have different desires than you and a minority of them do really shitty things. Can feeders be cruel and abusive? Hell yeah, as can literally any other group of people. It just so happens that due to the nature of their preferences, when they are abusive it tends to end very badly for their victim and that is heartbreaking. But not all feeders are abusive, there are plenty of people out there who want to be fed/gain weight, to some degree. There are even websites out there with thousands of members that are based on feederism and plenty of relationships involving people with such interests that aren't abusive at all. It's a matter of finding somebody compatible; if you are not a feedee you wont be compatible with a feeder, but it doesn't mean they can't be exactly what somebody else is looking for. I strongly feel that some people are just hardwired to find weight gain attractive, the same as finding feet or chains or anything else 'weird' attractive. Doesn't make them bad people.



Thank you for this. It always upsets me to see knee-jerk, unthinking anti-feederism on size acceptance, and/or fat positive sites. It's based on a lack of knowledge, and sterotypes. As you said, the vast majority of people, even within this community, are appalled at the thought of becoming, or helping someone else become, immobile. The loss of independence, the need to rely on someone else for care, is terrifying. However, there are a few who are intensely drawn to it, either in fantasy, or to actually living it out. Both men and women. They don't want to live physically active lives. What makes other people happy, content, fulfilled, isn't what they want. Does that make them wrong, or "sick?" It just makes them different.

And feederism itself, is multifaceted. It isn't one thing. Its as varied as the people who are into it. Most will stop short of compromising their own, or their partners', mobility. And equating all feeders with men who want to dominate, or control women, is just plain false. Sure there are a few who fit that description. But there are women feeders too, there are gay male feeders, there are male feedees, and there are also submissive feeders, who want to wait on and care for their dominant feedees.

If you're not into it, fine, nobody should foist it on you. If your weight is causing you physical or emotional issues, making you unhappy, then by all means, do what you need to do, to get to where you're comfortable in your own skin again. But don't paint others as monsters if you don't know where they're coming from.


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## ChattyBecca (Jan 28, 2019)

I agree with both Loopy and Ravfa...there are awesome people and shitty people. I like to think most are awesome. It's up to the 2 in the relationship.


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 28, 2019)

I have very mixed feelings about the whole gaining to immobility thing. First and foremost, I feel terrible for people who are in this situation NOT of their own choosing, I myself am semi-dependent and all but housebound rn due to a non-weight related disability, so I know having the choice to be mobile and free taken away from you sucks big time. On the other hand, I'll admit that the idea of immobility by extreme fatness is a turn on for me in fantasy, and sometimes I even think it might be something I'd be willing to go for in real life. You'd think having been unable to walk all my life that I wouldn't feel like this, but maybe it's a case of "you can't want what you never had". Maybe I feel I have less to lose since even at a "normal weight" my mobility is quite limited, plus the fact of my having grown up and lived my whole life with a disability having probably resulted in my being well used to a sedentary lifestyle with significant dependence on others.


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 28, 2019)

LizzieJones said:


> I dislike it intensely. I won't even date any man who is into that.



I'll admit I'm into the feedism stuff but I can definitely see why most people aren't, even in fat admiring and body positivity circles. I'm also into people knowing what they do and don't want in a relationship and sticking by it.


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## Shh! Don’t tell! (Jan 28, 2019)

On the one hand, I don’t want to be judgemental, but on the other I worry that people actively pursuing immobility might be thinking with their junk instead of with their heads. Letting the erotic side of your life become your whole life and letting yourself be completely dependent on others-it just doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that can make someone happy outside of fantasy. On the other other hand (how many hands was that again?) my softer core preferences might provoke the same reaction in some people that immobility does in me, so who am I to judge? I have no right to draw the line on what’s acceptable and what isn’t. In my personal opinion being immobile isn’t a good thing for anyone, but people get to make their own choices in life.


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## Shh! Don’t tell! (Jan 28, 2019)

squeezablysoft said:


> . You'd think having been unable to walk all my life that I wouldn't feel like this, but maybe it's a case of "you can't want what you never had". Maybe I feel I have less to lose since even at a "normal weight" my mobility is quite limited, plus the fact of my having grown up and lived my whole life with a disability having probably resulted in my being well used to a sedentary lifestyle with significant dependence on others.



I never considered it from that perspective. My view on it is as someone who’s always been mobile, and who’s goals and daily activities require full mobility. I recognize that people have different needs and experiences with this, though.


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## ChattyBecca (Jan 28, 2019)

squeezablysoft said:


> I'll admit I'm into the feedism stuff but I can definitely see why most people aren't, even in fat admiring and body positivity circles. I'm also into people knowing what they do and don't want in a relationship and sticking by it.


I'm the same. I'm a feedee but if you're not into it...cool.


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## landshark (Jan 28, 2019)

ChattyBecca said:


> I'm the same. I'm a feedee but if you're not into it...cool.



Feeding I definitely understand better than the immobility fantasy. I’m actually not a feeder myself but definitely can understand the appeal there.


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## ChattyBecca (Jan 28, 2019)

Sorry...I should have addressed the immobility aspect. I didn't.


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## landshark (Jan 28, 2019)

ChattyBecca said:


> Sorry...I should have addressed the immobility aspect. I didn't.



You don’t necessarily have to. I see them as completely unrelated fantasies. They can be related, but they don’t have to be.


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## ravfa (Jan 28, 2019)

Nobody can really "understand" a sexual orientation or desire they don't share. Something either makes you stiff or wet between the legs, or it doesn't. Personally, I find feet one of the less attractive parts of the human body, so I don't "get" the foot fetish. However, that's not really the point. It doesn't matter whether I understand it or not. I'm of the "consenting adults" school - as long as a person, or two people (or more people) are legal adults who are mentally competent and emotionally stable, and nobody is being forced or coerced or tricked, then what they do for pleasure doesn't affect me, or anyone else. It's their business. It doesn't even matter if it grosses me out. If someone else likes to get defecated on, then, hey, whatever floats your boat. It's not my place to judge or condemn. Plenty of so-called normal people think my preferences are perverted, gross, sick, etc., but so what? Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. I'm not trying to foist my likes on anybody else. So I'd appreciate it if they can all keep their distaste to themselves.


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## landshark (Jan 28, 2019)

@ravfa, especially if you didn’t ask them to begin with!


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## ravfa (Jan 28, 2019)

I will also note, that Lalique, who started this thread, originally made her post in October as a celebration of what she sees as her newfound freedom to enjoy food, eat what she wants, and enjoy her body. She made no mention of deliberately gaining weight, much less gaining to immobility. She received several supportive relies, then the thread went dormant until this past week. Now the thread has become a back and forth on feederism and immobility. 

So, to get back to the original point - I'm glad you've found your happy place Lalique .


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## loopytheone (Jan 29, 2019)

ravfa said:


> I will also note, that Lalique, who started this thread, originally made her post in October as a celebration of what she sees as her newfound freedom to enjoy food, eat what she wants, and enjoy her body. She made no mention of deliberately gaining weight, much less gaining to immobility. She received several supportive relies, then the thread went dormant until this past week. Now the thread has become a back and forth on feederism and immobility.
> 
> So, to get back to the original point - I'm glad you've found your happy place Lalique .



Well, to be fair, the original post was made almost 11 years ago now by a poster that hasn't been active in 7 years, so I understand people not wanting to address the old posts directly. I actually think it's really good to get discussions started, even if they are sort of on tangents to the original point. 

On that original topic, I consider my ability to eat and do whatever I please without hating myself to be a big source of my own happiness/freedom as well, after a life time of hating and denying myself. But I'm in the privileged position of still being relatively small and mobile, even if I am steadily gaining weight over the years. For some people, though, it's a lot less simple than that, the freedom to eat what they want comes with the cost of not being able to enjoy doing things. I think it's something that really depends on the individual and their body and needs.


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## squeezablysoft (Jan 29, 2019)

Yeah, getting back to the original topic, I definitely see freedom from fat phobia and food phobia as a good thing. Going away to school and getting away from a fat shaming family situation and having the freedom to eat as I wished is something I really enjoyed and appreciated when I had it, miss now that I don't anymore, and eagerly await now that I know I'll have it again soon.


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## knightmare870 (Jan 29, 2019)

I have been telling people for a while that life is too short for bad food, bad music, and bad company. If you get fat because of you enjoying life and yourself, revel in it. 

Your body is a vessel for your mind, shouldn't it have a nice ride?


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## BigElectricKat (Jan 29, 2019)

I refrained from weighing in on this subject (npi) because I realize that I have a tainted view of the feeder/feedee/immobilization fantasy. But first, let me say that I don't generally begrudge anyone their right to live whatever lifestyle they choose. Nor will I knock anyone's desire for whichever fantasy(s) they delight in (lord knows I have couple quirky ones myself). But this thread started as "My fat is result of freedom". And I wholeheartedly support anyone who feels that shaking free of societal "norms" and feeling liberated by just being who you are is admirable. If you want to eat what you like and not worry about thin enough or fit enough for others, right on! I get it. I wish that I could be more like that.

Yet, eating until you are immobile (long term - not "Oh, I've had too much Thanksgiving dinner and cannot get off this couch" immobile) is a form of restraint. You've given up your freedom of just about everything, except to eat. And even then you are reliant on someone to bring you food. Now, I can see where this could be a fantasy for some. As many of you have pointed out, the feeder has absolute control, much like a BDSM relationship with one big difference: the feedee has no safe word, no ability to fight back, and no chance of escape if they so desired.

Now again, I'm not one to stop someone from fulfilling their fantasies but feeding to the point of immobility seems to be a slow method of suicide. I know, someone is going to throw their hands up and tell me that I'm going overboard with the analogies or that I'm overly judgmental. But really, who do you know that purposely gain to the point they became immobile and lived to the ripe old age of say 75? And that's not old by today's standards. It's my opinion (I know, opinions are like assholes and I'm obviously one) that people sometimes just give up and like knightmare says "have a nice ride". But if you knew someone who was putting a few drops of antifreeze in their coffee each morning, knowing that the cumulative effects overt time will kill them, would you say or do something? 

My point is, I feel like we should each live our lives to the fullest and the bestest. What each of us considers best is for us to decide. I'm not going to knock anyone for doing what they feel is best but I want to see you and know you for as long as I possibly can. If that means I have to plead with someone to NOT become immobile on purpose, I will. But if they are around to hate me 25 years from now, I'm alright with that.

*Now, if you really want to call me an f-ing jackass, you can do so privately. I don't mind*


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## Shotha (Jan 29, 2019)

loopytheone said:


> I've actually had a passing acquaintance with a few people that wanted to be immobile (male and female) and whilst it isn't something I understand, I don't think it's right to judge people for decisions they want to take in regards to their own life.



I think that gaining, whether it be a little bit or gaining to the point of immobility is hard wired into our brains. Feederism is hard wired, too, whether its a little or a lot (including feeding someone to the point of immobility). So, that a person's decision to gain to the point of immobility, is actually a decision to accept and follow and existing and overwhelming urge or to fight against that urge. I see it as very much like being gay. Some of us just accept being gay and live gay lives. Other people, for various reasons fight the urge for same-sex relationships but they're still gay. I'm saying that there is a parallel between being gay and being a gainer (including those who gain to immobility). Gays who abstain from gay sex (or from sex altogether) are still gay. We have no choice about being gay or not. We have a choice about, whether we're actively gay or not, but making a decision not to do what comes naturally for us is a hard choice to stick with. I think it's the same with gainers. Gainers have no choice about being gainers but, if they choose to fight the urge to gain, it's a hard choice to stick with.

Just so that no one misunderstands, I'm a gainer but I don't want to gain to the point of immobility. For me being fat is partly an identity thing. I identify as a fat man and I like to be seen as the fat guy. Being immobile would deny me that wish.


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## Shotha (Jan 30, 2019)

BigElectricKat said:


> Yet, eating until you are immobile (long term - not "Oh, I've had too much Thanksgiving dinner and cannot get off this couch" immobile) is a form of restraint. You've given up your freedom of just about everything, except to eat. And even then you are reliant on someone to bring you food.



I think that this really is the important thing about the ethics surrounding gaining to the point of immobility. It means that you've given up your freedom. If you're prepared to give up your freedom that is fine. However, it makes you totally reliant on other people. So, your giving up their freedom, too. I don't find that ethically acceptable.


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## loopytheone (Feb 1, 2019)

Shotha said:


> I think that this really is the important thing about the ethics surrounding gaining to the point of immobility. It means that you've given up your freedom. If you're prepared to give up your freedom that is fine. However, it makes you totally reliant on other people. So, your giving up their freedom, too. I don't find that ethically acceptable.



I kinda have an issue with the last sentence there. I'm a disabled person and for my whole life, I will be reliant, one way or another, on other people. I don't think it's fair at all to say I'm 'giving up their freedom' just because I'm disabled... like, the people I love take the time to support and care for me, but I don't think they are forced to give up who they are just to support me...


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## ravfa (Feb 1, 2019)

loopytheone said:


> I kinda have an issue with the last sentence there. I'm a disabled person and for my whole life, I will be reliant, one way or another, on other people. I don't think it's fair at all to say I'm 'giving up their freedom' just because I'm disabled... like, the people I love take the time to support and care for me, but I don't think they are forced to give up who they are just to support me...



I think you're right and you shouldn't feel like you're a "burden" on others. There's also this: if a feeder is actively helping a feedee/gainer grow to the point of immobility, I think it then becomes their responsibility to help support/care for the gainer when they can no longer do so themselves. As an active participant, someone who is encouraging and helping their partner grow to the point of immobility, it is incumbent on them to do what is required to provide for their partner.


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## Shotha (Feb 2, 2019)

loopytheone said:


> I kinda have an issue with the last sentence there. I'm a disabled person and for my whole life, I will be reliant, one way or another, on other people. I don't think it's fair at all to say I'm 'giving up their freedom' just because I'm disabled... like, the people I love take the time to support and care for me, but I don't think they are forced to give up who they are just to support me...



I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to sound offensive to anyone with a disability. My post was talking specifically about people making a choice to gain to the point of immobility. I don't think that disabled people choose to be disabled. I am myself classed as partially disabled and it's a condition that has to do with my age and not with my weight. I'm thinking of situations, where one makes a conscious decision, which has an effect on other people. I would really like to hear from someone, who can explain to me how we can make a decision like that without impacting on others. I don't see how anyone can be held responsible for circumstances, which are beyond our control.

As ravfa points out, if a feeder helps a feedee to grow to the point of immobility, then they have a responsibility to care for that individual. This only resolves the matter up to a point. What if the feeder decides to walk out on the arrangement. People walk out on their responsibilities all the time. Who then takes up responsibility for looking after the feedee? People don't live forever. What if the feeder dies or is left severely disabled by an accident? Where does the responsibility then lie?

The point that I would really like to make is that sometimes what seems like a decision, which only affects ourselves, has ramifications for others. I don't think that there will be a single answer to this question. For example, I live in a country where the care of the abandoned feedee would be taken up by the state. This would not be the case in many other countries.


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## stuffyou (Feb 2, 2019)

squeezablysoft said:


> Yeah, getting back to the original topic, I definitely see freedom from fat phobia and food phobia as a good thing. Going away to school and getting away from a fat shaming family situation and having the freedom to eat as I wished is something I really enjoyed and appreciated when I had it, miss now that I don't anymore, and eagerly await now that I know I'll have it again soon.



Hello squeezeably 
I'm a supremely dedicated and decadent feeder, with honorable interest in providing perpetual intentional fattening freedom ; )
An erotic, sensual , sexual, pleasure enhancing, provider, protector, enabler, endorphin overloading carnal paradise found only in purposeful intentional perpetual fattening lifestyle 
Which in case you were wondering 
Is blessed dozens of times in the word of God ; )


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## agouderia (Feb 2, 2019)

Shotha said:


> I think that this really is the important thing about the ethics surrounding gaining to the point of immobility. It means that you've given up your freedom. If you're prepared to give up your freedom that is fine. However, it makes you totally reliant on other people. So, your giving up their freedom, too. I don't find that ethically acceptable.



This is what it essentially boils down to imo.

It's the age old social question of how to deal with - morally, medically, economically and socially - self-chosen ways of behavior that lead to people no longer being fully functional members of society?

To play devils advocate - replace food&immobility with alcohol&delirium. How is the assessment then? 
Or to go even further - medically pure morphine is highly addictive, but does less physical harm than alcohol. So instead of a "war on drugs": wouldn't it make more sense to sell clean heroin at real costs in pharmacies?

Just because food and fat are dearer to us here at Dims doesn't completely remove them from objective social and moral considerations.


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## JDavis (Feb 2, 2019)

Glad to hear you feel free. I came from a fat shaming family and we had a fat shaming pediatrician that didn't allow me to eat what I wanted starting in 5th grade. I had fairly severe anorexia by age 16. Then I read a book called "Diets Don't Work" which was one of the early set point theory books in the early 80s. That started me on the path to freedom. It took me another 15 years or so to fully get free with anorexia therapy help and getting my fat percent checked. My fat percent is in the "normal" range for my age and gender, but I think I could get beyond that too if it wasn't now.

I am tall so that put me much larger than most men which limited my dating possibilities quite severely. Luckily I was married at the time to a man who was fairly nice about the whole thing, although he had a family who also rejected my views and me. When we separated I had learned about FAs thanks to the internet and a friend, so found one that was a good match and (mostly) resisted trying to lose weight to date.

I exercise gently and eat what I like and what feels good to my body. I still get negative comments from people, especially online, so I won't say I don't have bad days and obsessive thoughts occasionally.

Set points change over time, generally going up over time and peaking at around age 50 to 55 and then declining again to the 20 year old set point by around 75. Mine is at it's peak right now and I am looking forward to a little lighter one to make it easier on my old feet.

I have become a fat activist in the meantime. I saw recently on Web MD that they have officially accepted the set point theory, 35 years after I learned about it. They still claim obesity is a disease, but oh well...baby steps. I guess I feel that if you are immobile and you don't want to be then that is a valid "disease" label but leave the rest of us alone, doctors!

I do wonder about the set point theory and feederism. I can imagine that different bodies have stronger and weaker set points. My set point is very strong and I did an experiment to see if I could gain weight once because I am a scientist and had to try out different things to explore the theory. I could only gain a few percent which went away as soon as I stopped trying. It felt like reverse dieting.


I don't blame size for diabetes. Docs are always changing theories they operate on and just because they say something is "obesity related" doesn't mean it is true. It is true that people from certain parts of the world have genetic traits and genetic diseases that are clustered. IMO that doesn't mean that a genetic trait (high mass to height for example) causes the disease (diabetes for example). Also, not all fat people get diabetes and not all diabetics are fat. I know that my dad is super thin and has diabetes.


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## Shotha (Feb 2, 2019)

agouderia said:


> To play devils advocate - replace food&immobility with alcohol&delirium. How is the assessment then?



It is precisely this analogy, which gives me my black-and-white stance on the ethics of making choices, which affect others negatively. I have neighbours, who have started drinking heavily. I fear that they are alcoholics. Three or four nights every week, they turn their sounds up full volume late at night. As I have fibromyalgia, the sleep deprivation has devastating and debilitating effects on me. It turns me into an unnecessary burden on the health service and on other people. I have accidents and quite often other people get hurt because of this. It is for reasons like this that, even if I wanted to gain to the point of being immobile, I would never be able to make the decision to go ahead and do it, because I'm constantly being made aware of the effects that people's lifestyle choices can have on others.


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## ChattyBecca (Feb 3, 2019)

Feederism as well as immobility...is up to the 2 "consenting" adults. They have got to take the responsibility that comes with everything that is involved. I think this is getting away from the original context of this subject. Gaining can be freeing as you, as I say about myself, "I'm growing into the TRUE me". But...this comes at a cost... 

Wow, need a margarita!


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## knightmare870 (Feb 4, 2019)

If you feel like you being fat is part of your identity, then be fat. If you feel like being fat is due to being denied food and fun at an early age, then be fat. If you feel like being fat is part of your sexuality, then be fat.

However, immobility is an issue, as said by ChattyBecca, that is solely between the feeder and the feedee. And is a commitment that is hard to come by these days. And even harder for people to agree on. 

Being fat, being with someone fat, if that's what you want, then go for it. Seize the day, or cupcakes, entirely up to you.


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## Happy fat lover (Feb 4, 2019)

ChattyBecca said:


> Feederism as well as immobility...is up to the 2 "consenting" adults. They have got to take the responsibility that comes with everything that is involved. I think this is getting away from the original context of this subject. Gaining can be freeing as you, as I say about myself, "I'm growing into the TRUE me". But...this comes at a cost...
> 
> Wow, need a margarita!


Well said


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## Shotha (Feb 4, 2019)

My personality changed, when I got fat. I became more outgoing and more confident. Other people started to notice my sense of humour more. I certainly enjoy life more as a fat man. So being fat has given me the freedom to enjoy all of those positive changes.


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## dmandavid (Feb 5, 2019)

From what I seen in girls when they lose weight they start to become snoby. I knew this one girl who was maybe 230. She started hanging out with girls who went to the gym and had bfs who had lots of money. It seemed the more weight she lost the more snuty she became.


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## landshark (Feb 5, 2019)

dmandavid said:


> From what I seen in girls when they lose weight they start to become snoby. I knew this one girl who was maybe 230. She started hanging out with girls who went to the gym and had bfs who had lots of money. It seemed the more weight she lost the more snuty she became.



Ah, yes, there’s nothing more obnoxious than a sober drunk. 

I’m all for people pursuing their personal best interests. For some that means feeling free to gain and for others it means losing weight. And thankfully a lot of people who do lose weight don’t fit the description you’ve given, but my wife and I have encountered them over the years.

Rather than being upbeat and trying to inspire (ie: “I did it, you can too!”) they choose to be “I lost weight so what’s your excuse you fatass.” Bummer. But like I said, not everyone falls into that description, thankfully.


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## flfeeder (Jul 27, 2019)

imfree said:


> imfree too. I have spiritual freedom in Christ and I have
> a free mind because of things I've learned in Dimensions
> Forums. It's great to see you here.


You mean you're in bondage now.


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## landshark (Jul 27, 2019)

flfeeder said:


> You mean you're in bondage now.



You know you replied to a post that is over 10 years old and the member who made that post has since passed on?


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## flfeeder (Jul 29, 2019)

happily_married said:


> You know you replied to a post that is over 10 years old and the member who made that post has since passed on?


Had no idea. I'll just stop posting then. Perhaps the posts should be posted newest to oldest, or the really old ones should be purged.

Sorry for irritating you.


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## landshark (Jul 29, 2019)

flfeeder said:


> Had no idea. I'll just stop posting then. Perhaps the posts should be posted newest to oldest, or the really old ones should be purged.
> 
> Sorry for irritating you.



Uh...the posts ARE posted oldest to newest. This thread is 5 pages long and the post you quoted is on the first page! On top of that there’s a time stamp on every post!

And nobody’s irritated or telling you to stop positing. But when you take a shot at someone’s faith based statement the way you did, and it turns out that post is over 10 years old and the person who made the post has passed away (note the “In Remembrance” on that person’s name), it’s fair to point out to you how silly you look.

Carry on!


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## flfeeder (Jul 29, 2019)

I meant to say, in reverse order.


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## Sidhuriel (Jul 30, 2019)

I definitely feel that being fat as I am now has been liberating. I am blessed to be stable at the weight I am at while eating whatever I desire so that's a great bonus. It took me a long time to get here though, allowing myself to eat to satiation has been a struggle for most of my life. Even now I still get disruptive thoughts telling me I'd be better overall if I lost weight etc, mostly because diet culture is so prevalent. But overall, allowing myself to be fat is freeing, because this is who I am.


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