# What is it like to be fat?



## Impulse101 (May 1, 2009)

question, particularly in the late teens.


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## succubus_dxb (May 1, 2009)

Here's what I'd like to know- what is it like to be thin? 


Fat in your teens- ouch. Kids are just plain mean, it's whether you let it get to you


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## Actor4hire (May 1, 2009)

I must say that it is pretty rough. I was 385 when I was 15. While I had a lot of friends, it was tough once people started dating, etc. Not to mention school decks aren't made for somebody that size.


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## jimj (May 2, 2009)

I wasn't ever the heaviest but it wasn't easy being the fat guy in high school. But I didn't know how it was being anything else. I'm sure it's easier being the fat guy than being the fat girl. That's what is so great about this board, here your not the odd one.


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## the hanging belly (May 2, 2009)

High school is hell. Thankfully there were a few others of similar size to myself, so though I was occasionally picked on during the later years, it wasn't so bad as a school where you're by far the biggest and nobody else comes close. But I'm still in my late teens and now its fine because once you get to uni nobody cares really. The whole dating thing does get shit though, especially seeing all your friends doing things you've got no experience of and might never be able to do


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## TallFatSue (May 2, 2009)

High school could have been a living hell, but luckily I exorcised those demons while I was still there, so it turned out very well. In junior high school I hated being the big tall fat girl, and the other kids called me names like Suzy Bigfood, Whale Belly, etc. Then in high school I discovered I had a quick wit, and I could give even better than I got. So I became the stereotypical funny fat girl who made everyone laugh. It was purely a defence mechanism but it worked so well that I became surprisingly popular. 

I even began to date in high school, although my boyfriends tended to fall into 3 categories: 
"You'd look great if you lost 100lb."
"You'd look great if you gained 100lb."
"I really like you, but what would my friends and/or family think if I dated a girl as fat as you?"

On the other hand, if you're asking what is it like simply to be as fat as I am, well, it's amazing to consider that 2/3 of my body mass is generously-porportioned feminine fat. No two ways about it, this much fat is heavy, awkward and bulky. I've been fat all my life, so my body can handle it pretty well: huge lungs, strong leg muscles etc. Usually my size is no big deal until I try to guesstimate whether I'll fit into certain chairs or restaurant booths, and whether they'll support me. Another aspect is that I can feel my fat bouncing around as I walk, although that usually feels good. Usually my stride pretty naturally follows the natural sway and bounce of my fat, although different parts of me jiggle differently. If I walk too fast, I get some major fat shakage going. My husband finds that captivating, but the problem is I keep needing to duck into the ladies' room to, er, adjust my clothes. 

And every so often I lean over to reach something and I'm reminded of the size of this belly of mine.


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## sarahreign (May 2, 2009)

Same as it feels to be skinny DUH except Fat feels sexier in the bedroom LOL Tru dat!


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## Rowan (May 2, 2009)

well damn..here i was about to tell you what it was like for ME to be A fat woman..then you pull the teen bs lol


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## Impulse101 (May 3, 2009)

Minus the social aspect what is it like?


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## Bron82 (May 3, 2009)

I can only speak from my own experiences, but I'll try to help you out as best as I can, Impulse101.

When I was in my late teens, as an obese girl, life in general was Hell. It's an awkward time anyway, because of hormones and the overall stage of development that you find yourself in - you _think_ you're mature, when in reality even if you are mature for your age, you still have a lot of maturation to go through. 

You want to fit in, but you tend to find yourself ostracized (especially if you're shy to begin with, in addition to being fat). Unfortunately, you also still care what other people, including your peers, think about you. 

It seemed like the more kids made fun of me and picked on me, which happened a *LOT*, the harder I tried to make them like and accept me. 

I just never seemed to be good enough for anybody. I was too fat, too ugly, talked funny, had a weird voice, etc. Additionally, in part because I'm a tomboy and loathe dresses, and in part because my family was poor so I had to wear clothes that we could afford, the name-calling and jabs started taking on sexual orientation and gender tones. (I got so sick of being called Pat - as in the SNL sketch about the person named Pat where nobody knew if Pat was a guy or a girl.) After a while, that stuff started taking a toll on me.

I went through a couple of phases where I tried to change who I was to try to get others to like me, and two things happened - 1) They still didn't like me, and 2) I hated who I had become. I literally, over the course of freshman and sophomore years, shut down emotionally. The only recognizable emotion that I could express was anger. 

Physical education was the bane of my existence. It's the absolute pinnacle of humiliation to be the biggest kid in your class and then be forced to jump, run, and generally be athletic in front of the guy you're madly in love with.

Fortunately, I got a couple of friends mid-junior year, and they started including me in things. I loosened up a lot, although I was still socially awkward. Things got even better, and I became even more laid back once I got to college. So there is hope! Life can get better, but I found that I had a lot to do with whether it did or not.

I got to the point where I was going to live my life as I saw fit. I was going to be the person I wanted to be, and if people had a problem with that, so what?! If people like me, great. If not, it's their loss. 

My apologies for the narrative, but I hope it is helpful to you.


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## jbourne678 (May 6, 2009)

Let me tell you something. I was the THIN guy in high school. At 6'2", I was 160 lbs. And you know what? I was STILL picked on relentlessly, for being awkard and quiet. So bottom line, be a fat teenager if you want to be, because kids are going be a-holes no matter what they have to pick on you for.


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## TallFatSue (May 7, 2009)

jbourne678 said:


> Let me tell you something. I was the THIN guy in high school. At 6'2", I was 160 lbs. And you know what? I was STILL picked on relentlessly, for being awkard and quiet. So bottom line, be a fat teenager if you want to be, because kids are going be a-holes no matter what they have to pick on you for.


That's true, and kids can be merciless as they hammer out their pecking order. The bullies picked on me for being the big tall awkward fat girl -- until I discovered I had a quick wit and didn't take it anymore. I began to give better that I got and the other kids laughed because I was funny too. Before long the bullies stopped picking on me and looked for easier targets.

There are bullies in the adult world too. One in particular worked in my department and was a passive aggressive type who pushed everyone's buttons and made life difficult without technically violating any company policies. Finally it backfired on him, I seized the moment and got rid of him without technically firing him. Our personnel manager backed me up. Poetic justice. 

Bully: "That big fat ass Sue fired me!"
Personnel Manager: "No she didn't. You quit in front of 6 witnesses, and we accepted your resignation."

Dropping the ax tore me up inside at the time, but it was nothing a triple chocolate cake couldn't cure, and it was indeed for the greater good.


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## Keb (May 7, 2009)

I had the advantage of being a fat child, as well, so by the time I was a fat teen, I was able to dismiss most of the teasing as "Oh, he's just being a jerk, I can ignore him to make him go away." It was much harder in 3rd grade, when I came home from school insisting everyone hated me a lot.  On the other hand, I went on maybe two dates before college (and not that many after). I always felt a bit left out. It didn't bother me much at the time, since I had books to read, stories to write, games to play, and things to study. But I tended to make friends with the teachers instead of my peers. 

I might have been that way even if I hadn't been fat, though. Being a little smart and having an unusual idea of rebellion (I rebelled against jeans, since everyone else wore them, rather than against my parents through my fashion) would probably have set me apart from the crowd no matter what my size.


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## PunkPeach (May 7, 2009)

Well for me personally, I can use one word...Happy. Why in the world would I equate my fat with being happy. Because especially in my late teens I spent way to time obsessing about my weight and trying to keep my weight high school perfect to fit in with a bunch of people that I realize now, I didn't like so much. I was miserable, unhappy, and not to mention damn near starving. So what is it like being fat...it is being happy, it is having my cake and eating it too. It is feeling sexy in my own body, happy to run my hands across my skin without feeling bone and I am still hungry but not for food but for life, because instead of wasting my time worrying about my waistline, I am living.


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## collared Princess (May 8, 2009)

I starved myself in high school..lived on diet pills and speed to keep my weight at 180..some days only eating a apple a day..I had to fight hard to stay under 200 but there was no way I could go through the ridicule in school...just no way so I let it all go after high school


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## jbourne678 (May 8, 2009)

TallFatSue said:


> There are bullies in the adult world too. One in particular worked in my department and was a passive aggressive type who pushed everyone's buttons and made life difficult without technically violating any company policies. Finally it backfired on him, I seized the moment and got rid of him without technically firing him. Our personnel manager backed me up. Poetic justice.



There's nothing like giving those condescending little freaks what they deserve! Kudos! It is certainly cause for celebration with triple chocolate cake


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## katherine22 (May 18, 2009)

I remember when I knew I would be fat. While in a small hotel dining room, this well dressed couple entered the room. Impeccably dressed, the man was elegant and thin ,and the woman wore a silk dress, stockings, high heels and weighed 550 lbs. Her face was stoic and beautiful while others stared at her she remained impervious. I loved looking at her immense ass as it pushed through the negative space of the chair where it was seated. The man treated her as if she were the only person in the room, as they only conversed with each other. He was so attentive to her opening her napkin,never taking his eyes off her as he buttered a piece of bread and passed it to her watching while she ate it, so sexy in a hotel dining room. Quite simply, she was a queen and to see her man so focused and loving to her was a blatant parallel to what was lacking in my life while fighting to eat only 900 calories a day. A radiant couple on a mutual wave length that transcended the commentary of the other people staring in amazement, the man inquired how she was enjoying the appetizers that arrived in front of them. Sometimes he would change his position in the chair to get a better look at her. What remains of that memory after 30 years is how I want to have a lover enjoy my bigness, my belly with the apron of fat, watching a man's face from my mirror stare in amazement as I pull up my pantyhose over my fat alabaster ass. Like that elegant man 30 years ago in his devotion to a massively beautiful woman, I want the same infinite permission from my lover to be myself,and for this it is a joy to grow fat.


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## edino (May 18, 2009)

I feel at my 350lbs way better in confidence than at 175lbs...


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## Fenrisulfr (May 22, 2009)

It's really very different for every person, I think. I'm 18, finishing high school in a couple weeks. I'm 5' 11" and about 320 pounds. And quite honestly, I've had very few problems due to my weight. I'm kind of hoping that I don't get attacked for not having faced the same hardships as other people seem to. That I might not "get it." But even as the fattest student in my school, I can count the number of times that I've faced any nastiness due to my weight since elementary school on one hand. The last nasty comment I got was in 2005 or so, and the guy's friends quickly shot him down for making it. I don't know if it's because I'm also a very strong guy or what, I've always kept myself physically able despite my weight. But honestly, in the eighteen years of my life, the worst part of being fat has been the fact that it can sometimes be uncomfortable to squeeze myself into some of the older desks at school, or occasionally feeling nervous about sitting on flimsy looking chairs.

So yeah, being fat is an extremely different experience for every individual. Might as well ask "What is it like to have brown eyes?" or "What is it like to have a beard?"

... Given, having a beard is actually pretty darn awesome.


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## BigBeautifulRed (Jun 10, 2009)

Middle School was horrible. I gained a ton of weight between 6th and 7th grade and I already didn't have any friends to begin with. Then in High School I had some friends, they did drugs and I stopped chilling with them, and had no friends again and finished school, in college no one cares.


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## BigBeautifulRed (Jun 10, 2009)

Fenrisulfr said:


> It's really very different for every person, I think. I'm 18, finishing high school in a couple weeks. I'm 5' 11" and about 320 pounds. And quite honestly, I've had very few problems due to my weight. I'm kind of hoping that I don't get attacked for not having faced the same hardships as other people seem to. That I might not "get it." But even as the fattest student in my school, I can count the number of times that I've faced any nastiness due to my weight since elementary school on one hand. The last nasty comment I got was in 2005 or so, and the guy's friends quickly shot him down for making it. I don't know if it's because I'm also a very strong guy or what, I've always kept myself physically able despite my weight. But honestly, in the eighteen years of my life, the worst part of being fat has been the fact that it can sometimes be uncomfortable to squeeze myself into some of the older desks at school, or occasionally feeling nervous about sitting on flimsy looking chairs.
> 
> So yeah, being fat is an extremely different experience for every individual. Might as well ask "What is it like to have brown eyes?" or "What is it like to have a beard?"
> 
> ... Given, having a beard is actually pretty darn awesome.



going to college is completely different. You're just a minnow in the Pacific, no one will notice or care about your weight.


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## msbard90 (Jun 11, 2009)

No matter how you slice it I got ridiculed. i was ridiculed in middle school for being a fat kid, and then ridiculed for being too thin in high school. I was 5'5 and 105 lbs... After High school, i didn't care anymore and just let it all go. In those 2 years I gained 145 lbs. It doesn't matter in the real world, but high school sucks, iit seems like i never won in high school :blush:


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## collared Princess (Jun 12, 2009)

I was thinking of this thread this morning because when I got up to go to the bathroom one of my children left something on the floor and I stepped on a corner of it..now regular weight that would be no big deal but as a SSBBW little things on the floor like a block, or a cord to a vacum can throw our balance off terribly..


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## BigBeautifulRed (Jun 14, 2009)

Theres a lot of other hard things I experience. I always feel different from my friends, they are all pretty thin so going somewhere I just feel odd. Thats partly my fault I guess. 

Also sometimes you can't shop at the mall with your friends. I used to see my friends share cute outfits but I couldn't because I was "the fat friend" I always feel kinda out of it. I know my friends I have now don't care but you always get that sensation that they talk about you when your not around that they say things like "if only she was thinner, she could be so pretty" which could partly be me too.


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## Paul (Jun 14, 2009)

BigBeautifulRed said:


> I know my friends I have now don't care but you always get that sensation that they talk about you when your not around that they say things like "if only she was thinner, she could be so pretty" which could partly be me too.



Nope! How could an extremely pretty girl be any prettier.


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## collared Princess (Jun 15, 2009)

BigBeautifulRed said:


> Theres a lot of other hard things I experience. I always feel different from my friends, they are all pretty thin so going somewhere I just feel odd. Thats partly my fault I guess.
> 
> Also sometimes you can't shop at the mall with your friends. I used to see my friends share cute outfits but I couldn't because I was "the fat friend" I always feel kinda out of it. I know my friends I have now don't care but you always get that sensation that they talk about you when your not around that they say things like "if only she was thinner, she could be so pretty" which could partly be me too.



I think you should feel awesome when you are around your friends..because you are one of a kind..something your friends could probally never be and that's fat.
So what that you dont fit into skin girls clothes..we have plenty of shops that skinny girls just couldnt fit into anything..I think its funny when I take someone into a big girl clothes store and they feel left out cause none of the clothes fit them..ha ha..

When I ride around NYC as a passanger in my car,I look at all the people and I see 75%-80% of the women are under a size 12..they all look the same with the same style..low rise jeans and a top..cookie cutters..no offence to thin women really..but they look alike..then I think if I were them Id have something to worry about because if there boyfriends/husbands are turned on by them thier size then thats something to worry about..there are 75%-80% that would look just like me..my boyfriend would have alot of women to choose from..
MY weight now..he has 1% to look at and if the 1% DOESNT HAVE A BIG BELLY that knocks it down to under a half percent..whoho...IM pretty darn Original !!!!!!!!!!! look at me world!!!!!!


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## mergirl (Jun 15, 2009)

collared Princess said:


> I think you should feel awesome when you are around your friends..because you are one of a kind..something your friends could probally never be and that's fat.
> So what that you dont fit into skin girls clothes..we have plenty of shops that skinny girls just couldnt fit into anything..I think its funny when I take someone into a big girl clothes store and they feel left out cause none of the clothes fit them..ha ha..
> 
> When I ride around NYC as a passanger in my car,I look at all the people and I see 75%-80% of the women are under a size 12..they all look the same with the same style..low rise jeans and a top..cookie cutters..no offence to thin women really..but they look alike..then I think if I were them Id have something to worry about because if there boyfriends/husbands are turned on by them thier size then thats something to worry about..there are 75%-80% that would look just like me..my boyfriend would have alot of women to choose from..
> MY weight now..he has 1% to look at and if the 1% DOESNT HAVE A BIG BELLY that knocks it down to under a half percent..whoho...IM pretty darn Original !!!!!!!!!!! look at me world!!!!!!


I was reading about Identity the other day and apparently it is a western concept to aim to be individual. In most places in Asia it is about trying to be the same as others and mesh as a society, i'm wondering perhaps if this is part of the reason there seems to be less acceptance of fat in many Asian countries. 
I suppose 'Fat' is as good a facet as any to find your individuality. I guess it begs the question, why do we feel the need to be different from everyone else?
If you woke up tommorow and everyone was your size or bigger would that make you feel less proud or happy about your size?


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## Impulse101 (Jun 17, 2009)

This might be an interesting read:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/3429903.stm


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## thejuicyone (Jun 19, 2009)

It's fuckin' saweeeeet. 
I personally don't think I'd be the person (on the inside) that I am now if I hadn't always been fat. Mainly because I learned who all my real friends were early on. Being fat is pretty much a built in jerk detector. (Thank you for that line FAT!SO?) I'm glad I'm fat, I don't think I'd be as confident if I were thin. I think I'd be worrying wayyy too much about trying to stay thin and I'd be dating the wrong guys,etc. etc.


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## mergirl (Jun 19, 2009)

thejuicyone said:


> It's fuckin' saweeeeet.
> I personally don't think I'd be the person (on the inside) that I am now if I hadn't always been fat. Mainly because I learned who all my real friends were early on. Being fat is pretty much a built in jerk detector. (Thank you for that line FAT!SO?) I'm glad I'm fat, I don't think I'd be as confident if I were thin. I think I'd be worrying wayyy too much about trying to stay thin and I'd be dating the wrong guys,etc. etc.


Though..being fat is not a built in Fa jerk detector!!


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## Crystal (Jun 19, 2009)

Bron82 said:


> You want to fit in, but you tend to find yourself ostracized (especially if you're shy to begin with, in addition to being fat). Unfortunately, you also still care what other people, including your peers, think about you.
> 
> It seemed like the more kids made fun of me and picked on me, which happened a *LOT*, the harder I tried to make them like and accept me.





succubus_dxb said:


> Fat in your teens- ouch. Kids are just plain mean, it's whether you let it get to you





the hanging belly said:


> The whole dating thing does get shit though, especially seeing all your friends doing things you've got no experience of and might never be able to do




Yes, yes, and yes.


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